Episode 75 - Tavern Boogie

## Intro

**Jason**: Hello, and welcome Celestial Expanse, a real play D&D podcast set in the Celestial Expanse universe. My name is Jason, and I'll be playing everyone's favorite heretic elf, Theran. Tonight, you will witness much chicanery, tomfoolery, ballyhoo, and if you're lucky, maybe even some skullduggery. But now I wanna introduce the Prime Minister of Sinister, the Foreman of Fornicating Skyward, the Numero Uno of rolling numero uno, our GM Matthew.
**Matt**: Eyyyyy.
**Jason**: How are you tonight, Matthew?
**Matt**: Pretty good, yourself?
**Jason**: I'm good. What is one thing you as a GM are afraid of?
**Matt**: Ummmmm...
**Ben**: Meeeee.
**Jason**: Not Ben.
**Matt**: I mean to be fair, Ben can be scary sometimes. My players not having fun.
**Jason**: Kay.
**Matt**: Like, if they ever told me that they weren't having fun, I'd probably be like, what is the point of me being a GM anymore.
**Jason**: Ben, playing Rell. What is something Rell is afraid of happening?
**Matt**: His shadow.
**Ben**: Falling? Crashing?
**Jason**: Boston, playing our favorite shrub Juniper. What's something Boston - not Boston, Juniper is afraid of?
**Boston**: Hmm. That's a good question.
**Matt**: Let me get my notes real quick.
**Boston**: Do I have fears?
**Jason**: Yeah. I'm seeding the GM, right now.
**Boston**: The crystal dudes.
**Jason**: Yeah.
**Matt**: Eh.
**Jason**: Rebecca, playing the kind and generous Martle. What is something Martle is afraid of?
**Rebecca**: Well, Martle's main fear has already kinda come about, and that is the death of a loved one.
**Jason**: Now, we've talked about pronouns in this adventure before. Martle's pronoun is she, correct?
**Rebecca**: Correct.
**Jason**: Does anyone play a character that has an alternate pronoun? I didn't think so, but I wanted to check. Natalia, playing Z. What is something Z is afraid of?
**Natalia**: The way her heart skipped a beat when that captain said hello.
**Jason**: Aww.
**Matt**: Oh god.
**Jason**: I think you meant doctor, but that's okay, we'll keep going with that.
**Matt**: It depends on which captain.
**Jason**: Mitch, playing Zarial. What is something Zarial is afraid of?
**Mitch**: I would say losing his whole crew again.
**Jason**: Fair.
**Rebecca**: Samesies!
**Natalia**: Aww. Aww!
**Jason**: Back to you, Matt!

## Summary

### Episode Description

The crew survive the Mindflayer assault, some better than others and are on their way to meet with the mysterious "Magnum" at the even more mysterious Uncertain Cosmic tavern. How much scum and villainy can there be?

### Summary

Theran and Martle talk with doctor who stitched up Lelia. Theran pretends to be a doctor and Martle denies everything. The doctor inspects Martle's arm. Zarial attempts to back up Theran's lies, but the doctor tells him to stop smoking so much. Zarial lights up on the way out the door.

They're in the Central Paramount, having just finished dropping off some civilian refugees who wanted to join the pirates. The Uncertain Cosmic is in the Marauder Curtain, two hours away. Their jump takes them radar space of the Mentaru homeworld, and it takes them another half hour to reach the station. The Uncertain Cosmic appears to be an old school tavern on some terrain in the middle of a sphere, surrounded by a more modern ring. The station is orbiting an asteroid belt on the outskirts of the system. The tavern is very busy, with lots of traffic around it, and has blackout curtains on the windows, so they can't see in. Juniper is napping, recovering from the mindflayer attack. Z is very drunk, ranting about the gnome Jax, trying to deny her attraction to him.

They go to the tavern, which is packed, with holograms dancing while playing music. An alert goes off as they try to enter but are repelled by a forcefield, and a doorman comes over to check their weapons. They dump their weapons on the table and take their ticket. Martle tells him she'll be mad if they lose the hammer, and he recognizes the work of Ryu, who also made his gun. Recognizing Rell as a monk, he tells him no funny business, calling him pretty boy. Zarial is offended. Zarial puts "Spalifornication" on the jukebox, and the others head to the bar. The bartender is a tiefling woman with silver hair and bright purple eyes, wearing a nice well cut suit. She's talking with a patron, and is distributing drinks with a wave of her fingers. Martle orders a pear cider and asks for Magnum. The bartender points to a figure in a black cloak. Martle flirts with the bartender, and then everyone goes to meet Magnum.

Magnum asks if they'd be interested in information on some high ranked inquisition forces. She's a law enforcement agent, but not Parliament. She identifies each of them by name except Zarial. He says his name is Jake. Magnum is after the Inquisition. Parliament told her organization to hunt them down and arrest them before the asteroid went dark. She has information on two people, but needs help because her organization, the Judges, is short staffed. To avoid a very drunk Z, Juniper convinces her to get a root beer. The bartender gives Z a sippy cup and calls her honey, and Z melts.

One of the people Magnum is after is Mama Gail. Martle recognizes the other as a bald grey eyed pink skinned sharp featured female elf from her list of leads: Sharondalin. Magnum says they have a small army with them - each has a personal guard of at least 50, but she knows where they are. Magnum offers to buy Z a few cases of root beer as payment, and they agree, mostly due to their common interest. The episode ends as she dubs each of them Deputies of the Judges.

### New Information

* The doctor is a middle aged human man with black hair greying on the sides and glasses.
* The doorman is an orc with a six inch mohawk, wearing a nice vest and tight black jeans.
* Drinks at the Uncertain Cosmic include cider from the internal orchards od Mercy, from the Baruti planets of the dragonborn, and from the moon Szeth.
* Magnum has a cybernetic leg and wears combat pants. She's a human in about her 20's, and has short curled auburn hair, very brown eyes, and dark skin. She's very short, about 4'5".
* The Judges are an independent organization that have been around for 10-20 thousand years.

## Memorable Quotes

**Doctor**: While you're in my medical bay, no smoking, okay? *\*He's looking at Zarial emphatically.\**
**Natalia**: That's what edibles are for.
**Jason**: Yeah I was gonna say, Zarial's eating seven brownies right now.

**Martle**: I'm immune to disease.
**Doctor**: Then why are you in here? Just let me get back to my job.
**Martle**: I came here to check on my sister and you told me to sit on a table!

**Martle**: Oh, honey. We're a bunch of adventurers. None of us are alright.

## Trivia

Z melted when the bartender called her honey and Matt broke.