Trumpet Shenanigans

### Characters (in order of appearance)

Space Tree, Snitch, The Commander, Freely McWheely (non-speaking cameo), Space Dolphin (also non-speaking), Professor Clerman, Eyeball, Alien, The Stem

## Credits

### Spoken by

ed atlin, stephen frizzle, bean mcbain, bryan waterman

### Music by

joe bastid

Space Tree is involved in a duel with the self-proclaimed superhero, The Stem. But first, he needs to find an official Space Tree Cheerleader. Guest-starring Bryan Waterman as the Stem, McBean as an alien, and Friz as a friggin' snitch. Man.

## Transcript

*(open to Space Tree, entering a room; he bangs a gong with a guitar, causing a sign to drop down from the ceiling reading "Crew Meeting")*

**SPACE TREE:** Crew meeting!

*(the Snitch, Clerman, the talking eye, and the alien fly in)*

**SPACE TREE:** All right, is everybody here? I'd check for myself, but I'm a busy man.

**SNITCH:** I don't see the Commander anywheres.

*(enter Commander)*

**COMMANDER:** Yeah, yeah, I'm right here, you friggin' snitch. *(to ST)* What is this, Space Tree? I'm trying to eat breakfast here. *(holds up a bone)*

**SPACE TREE:** *(holds up trumpet)* Read the sign, C-Money. It's a crew meeting.

**COMMANDER:** Yeah, crew meeting? Look, I'm not part of any crew, especially one that's led by you. *(close-up)* Chim-chim-cher-oo.

**SPACE TREE:** Yeah, well, CREW MEETING! HO! *(he hits Commander in the face with the trumpet, knocking him out)* Well, all trumpet shenanigans aside, *(throws the trumpet away)* I do have a deadly serious matter to discuss. *(zooming in)* I, Space Tree, have been challenged to a duel by none other than a self-proclaimed superhero, The Stem. *(holds up picture of the Stem, with Freely McWheely and a Space Dolphin on it. It also has some dialogue, see the Trivia section)*

**CLERMAN:** The Stem, you say? Well, I've heard that she is one sexy, sexified sex-ahero! I mean, superhero.

**SPACE TREE:** Yeah, *self-proclaimed* superhero. Don't forget the "self-proclaimed" part. But -- wait, a minute. She's a *she*? You mean, I'm fighting a girl? *(chuckles)* Well, then that just means this battle's gonna be even easier than I thought!

**EYEBALL:** So what in the damn hell does this have to do with us, Tree?

**SPACE TREE:** Well, in accordance with the official duelling guidelines, I am allowed to bring with me one official Space Tree cheerleader! Now, who wants to volunteer?! *(holds up cheerleading shirt)*

**CLERMAN:** "Cheerleader"? Heh, no offense, Space Tree, but screw you to hell. *(exits)*

**EYEBALL:** Yeah, why don't you cheerlead my round ass? *(exits)*

**SNITCH:** I don't even know where I am... *(exits)*

**SPACE TREE:** Oh, come on! Was that really such an unfair request?

**ALIEN:** Probably.

**COMMANDER:** *(getting up; he has blood all over his face)* Oh man, my head... what the hell happened?

**SPACE TREE:** You mean, you don't remember?

**COMMANDER:** No, I just woke up on the floor there.

**SPACE TREE:** Oh. Well, I'll tell you what happened! You agreed to be my cheerleader!

**COMMANDER:** *Cheerleader?* Well, I guess that sounds like something I'd agree to, but why was I unconscious on the floor?

**SPACE TREE:** *Unconscious* on the *floor?!* Come on! There's no *floors* in *space!* *(laughs)* You crazy commander! You're such a goof... ball! Ha ha... *(sighs)* Put on the uniform.

**LATER, AT THIS PLACE...**

*(The Stem is standing there; Space Tree walks up to him/her/it)*

**SPACE TREE:** Well, well, if it isn't the Stem. Fancy seeing you at this... flower. Ha ha ha... You know, instead of "hour".

**THE STEM:** *(deep voice)* Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

**SPACE TREE:** Well, I hope you came prepared, Stem, because I know I did! In fact, I think I hear the sounds of a leading cheer coming right now!

*(enter the Commander, not only wearing the shirt, but also a blonde wig, lipstick, fake boobs, and a skirt)*

**COMMANDER:** *(flatly)* Yeah. Go Space Tree. Hooray.

**SPACE TREE:** Geez, you call that a cheer? *(recoils)* And what the hell are you wearing?!?

**COMMANDER:** What? Cheerleading uniform... Sorry, if I don't meet your standards, Space Tree-

**SPACE TREE:** No, I mean- You just needed the shirt! You didn't need the- friggin- all this other crap!

**COMMANDER:** Uhm, I, I read the guideline book and yes, Space Tree, I do have to wear this, alright? I had no choice. You, you think I wanna wear it? Cause, you know, I'm not comfortable like this. I'm gonna go over there...

**SPACE TREE:** Yeah, just shut up and go.

**COMMANDER:** *(exits)* Gimme an S!

**THE STEM:** Now that you've got your drag queen here, you think we can get this over with?

*(two giant metal legs grow out of the Stem's body, making him/her/it twice as large as Space Tree)*

**SPACE TREE:** Whoa, okay, Stem, ah. You know, I thought about this, and I actually came here to say, let's call it a draw. Cause, you know... I just don't think it's fair to hit a woman.

**THE STEM:** What are you talking about? I'm not a woman.

**SPACE TREE:** Well... I am! So see you later! I'm off to go bra shopping.

*(enter Snitch)*

**SNITCH:** *(his second head is talking)* He's lying, Stem. Let's get him! I saw him writing his name in the snow earlier!

**SPACE TREE:** What snow? *(the Stem kicks him out of the screen)*

*(cut to the Commander, still in the cheerleading uniform. the Stem approaches)*

**THE STEM:** And as for you, Cheerleader... *(bows down to him)* ... Will you marry me?

**COMMANDER:** Uh, you know, I'm actually a dude.

**THE STEM:** And I'm an armed robotic flower who could crush you with its enormous feet.

**COMMANDER:** *(vacant, hopeless stare)* It's like we were meant to be.

*(the screen goes black, in a heart shaped form. roll the end credits)*

## Fun Facts

* Picture of the Stem, with Freely McWheely and a Space Dolphin
	+ This scene with the Space Pres and a Space Dolphin also appeared in Office Space
	+ Dialogue:

**SPACE DOLPHIN:** *(holding a bag with a Dollar-sign on it)* \*gasp\* It's **THE STEM!**

**THE STEM:** Not so fast **Mr. President!** or should I say, **Mr. Terrorist!**

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** *(holding a case with a question mark in it)* \*choke\*!

* McBean, voiced the Alien, is the creator of Robotbox and Cactus, another Keentoon
* Friz, voiced the Snitch, is the creator of Pete is a Pogostick, another Keentoon
* Bryan Waterman, voiced the Stem, is the creator of the flash series Waterman

## References

* 'Chim chim cheroo' is a reference to the song Chim Chim Cheree from the film Mary Poppins. A reference to a previous set of lyrics from the same song (chim chim cheree) is made in the episode Space Vision.