Wizard 21

**Chapter 21**

Back to Richard! Richard suddenly thinks that Kahlan wouldn't have continued on to the Midlands without him; she would have gone back to Zedd. Richard turns and heads back, using the magic of the sword to give him energy...or rather, *“the heedless drive to prevail.”* Not sure that's exactly a good thing just now, but it works.

He finds and follows Kahlan's footprints, then finds larger footprints over them: *“Overlapping part of her footprint was a man's bootprint, nearly three times as large as hers.”*

It's Bigfoot! And he's wearing boots! Seriously though, that's a big ol' foot. My mother is not a tall woman (which Kahlan is), and her feet are 9½“ long. If we take this literally, this means the man following Kahlan has feet over 24" long. Or perhaps he's wearing clown shoes. That makes much more sense, especially after I have this drink. \~/

Also, why are his bootprints overlapping Kahlan's? Richard is still inside the pass at this time – at least, if he's gotten out of it we're not told, so I'm forced to assume he hasn't. Somehow, Clown Shoe Man has been following Kahlan into the pass, missed her when she came back, and turned around to follow her back out. It makes absolutely no sense, yet it's the only scenario that works with the information we've been given. \~/

So Richard catches up to Clown Shoe Man just as he's about to kill Kahlan. Clown Shoe Man turns out to be the last survivor of the quad, and I don't know why Kahlan doesn't use her mysterious mind vampire power on him but she doesn't. Ladies, do those breasts drain energy away from your brain, or is that only in bad fantasy novels? \~/

Richard kills the guy with a single blow, taking an entire page to describe it because he enters bullet time to do so. There are lovely descriptions, like *“...a burst of red fog that made Richard feel a flush of exhilaration as he watched clumps of blonde hair and bone and brain tumble madly about,”* and *“Globs of blood were flung up into the air in long strings which finally arced and fell back to the ground and onto Richard, offering the victor the hot satisfying taste of it in his mouth...”* \~/\~/ I guess that wasn't a neck fetish a few chapters back.

Then Richard experiences some sort of magical feedback, as he is overwhelmed by intense pain. This, it turns out, is the other side to the sword's magic; once the battle is over the Seeker is consumed by blinding agony. Not sure why. Anyway, while in this *“fog of agony,”* Richard decides that *“[Clown Shoe Man] had sentenced himself to die with his own intent to kill.”* And yet, Richard himself has professed an intent to kill on multiple occasions: both quads, Darken Rahl, the World's Worst Angry Mob, the Ogling Mountain Men, etc. I guess this means he has sentenced himself to die, then. And so have Chase, Kahlan and Zedd, all of whom have either killed or professed intent to kill, right? \~/

I see what Mr Goodkind is trying to do here: he's trying to say that Clown Shoe Man deserved to die because he was trying to kill Kahlan, whereas Richard only killed to defend her. It could be a valid argument, but it's very clumsily presented here. Never fear though; we'll get plenty of speechifying on who deserves to live or die, and why, as the saga unfolds.

Richard gets better, and he and Kahlan hug and she cries. Because she's a chick, even though Richard is the one who just experienced unbelievable pain. We learn (from Zedd, via Kahlan) that when the Seeker uses the Sword of Truth to kill someone, *“the first time is different, that the magic tested, took a measure of the Seeker with the pain...He said the magic has to join to the Seeker with its first ultimate use, to ascertain his intent when he kills...It tests you with the pain, to see who will be the master, who the ruled.”*

Got your bottles ready? Good. This, once again, directly contradicts what we were told about how the sword's magic works. What's this about the magic *“ascertain[ing] his intent when he kills?”* For the umpteenth time, **only perception matters**. \~/ You wrote these rules, Mr Goodkind; it's not my fault if you can't keep them straight. Intent is nothing. Truth is nothing. **Perception is** **everything**. The wielder can have the morals of a drunken hobo and wield the damn thing just as well.

Next, what's the deal with this test of pain? What does that determine? How does it accomplish anything? All it means is that people with a higher pain threshold will be better Seekers. It feels like it was put in place to give Richard his dramatic, oh-no-I've-killed scene (note that it occurs ONLY after the first killing), and that could have been accomplished in some other way. By, perhaps, having Richard agonize over the killing because he's a freaking human being with empathy and self-doubt, maybe? \~/ You know, the way real, non-sociopathic people who have to kill feel?

Third, what's that crap about the master and the ruled? This sounds as if the sword itself were sentient, and trying to dominate the wielder (shades of Stormbringer). Or the magic living in the sword. Since when is this the case? This would make it a pretty crappy political appointment, which is what Zedd told us had been happening with the sword. \~/ A better way to handle this would have been for Richard to have to fight the magic to stop killing, especially when surrounded by people he considered the enemy. The magic exists to slay (those who the Seeker thinks are) the guilty, so it fights its wielder to accomplish those ends. That would have made some sort of sense. This? I don't know what this is.

Anyway...Richard hold's Kahlan's hand and picks up the sword, and it goes off! No, not like that; the rage-magic activates. Richard decides that the sword is trying to protect him from Kahlan, but she doesn't notice so he doesn't mention it. Clearly, the sword considers mind vampires to be dangerous predators.

Richard and Kahlan turn around and head back down the pass, determined to reach the Midlands or die trying (instead of heading back to Adie's resting for a day, and trying again when they're not half-crazy from exhaustion). Brilliant.

So they press on and make it to the Midlands! Yay! They're in a place called the Wilds (so called because of its inhabitants, not because the terrain is wild...I'm not sure how that works). Richard decides they have to find a user of magic and force them to help: *“I didn't say they had to want to help us; I said they had to be able to. You just take me to them and I'll worry about the rest!”* Yeah, screw that “respect” and “free will” bullshit! Coercion all the way! Might makes right! \~/

Kahlan says she can lead them to the Mud People, who might be able to help.

The Mud People? Seriously Mr Goodkind; that's the best you can do?

Fine. \~/ The Mud People.

Drinks: 11

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