2017 Trophy Naming Tournament - Round 1

## Introduction

Live look at the League of Champions taking one glance at all the other fantasy leagues heading into the off-season:

That's right! Just when you thought it was safe to go back into reality:

The journey to year round LoC domination continues with the Great Naming Tournament. All managers have submitted their two names into the tournament. Over the next three weeks we will choose what the trophy shall be named. The winner will not only have the distinct honor of having their idea forever embedded into the history of the league, but they get one step closer to winning the league-due-free off-season reward (which also seems to need a name). More on that to come. The board is set. The pieces are moving. It's February and the path to the 2017 trophy has already begun.

## Trust the Process

Before we reveal and review the tournament bracket, a couple quick reminders:

1. I cannot vote, nor can I sway voters at any point. All names have been commish approved. The rest is in your hands.
2. The bracket was seeded at complete random by using a special "pull a name out of a hat" app. All 20 names were entered at once. The first name that came out was the top seed and so on. No one's two ideas are in the same side of the bracket, thus ensuring the only time you'd ever have to face off against yourself is in the championship match. If that happens, good for you. It won't.
3. At the end, we'll reveal who had what names. Before that, the competition remains anonymous to prevent any name bias.

## Round One

### *North Division*

The North is arguably the weaker of the two divisions. Nevertheless, one name will emerge and have a chance to be engraved in LoC lore forever.

#### Eternal Cup of Glory vs. Pink Stripes

To open things up we have one football specific and one non-football specific name. This early bout will give us some idea of how the voters are thinking. Do we want a name that summons some sort of football thought? Or do we want one that conveys the shear enormity of the trophy?

Pink Stripes represents both The New England Patriots and their sustained excellence. Pink Stripes represents the evil genius of Ernie Adams, the most mysterious member of the Patriots staff. The name Pink Stripes says "I outwitted, outplayed, and outlasted my competition and I'm the only one who knows how I did it."

Eternal Cup of Glory speaks for itself. Winning the cup means take a place among eternity. You can never have that cup taken away from you. It is a trophy that brings you glory not just for the moment but forever. You're not just winning any cup. You're winning a cup of glory. You're not just winning a cup of glory. You're winning an "eternal" cup of glory. This transcends fantasy. This is like the crowning achievement of your entire existence.

#### The F.A.T.E. vs. The Memorial Trophy Bowl Cup

For our other opening round matchup in the north we have a name that you could say in a sneeze and another name you couldn't say in Denver without needing extra oxygen. But don't let the name fool you: Fate is more than you think.

F.A.T.E. stands for "Fantasy Actually Takes Effort." If you think about it too much, this one has the potential to pretzel your brain. As an acronym, the name seems to suggest that your destiny is determined by the fantasy gods, a pre-written path that you simply walk down. If you win, it was fate. But when you see the meaning behind the acronym, you learn that the name suggests the opposite. It says that you will never win this game unless you give it 100%. So is FATE choice, or is fate predetermined? Is it both? OH GOD, MY HEAD HURTTTTTSSS.

The Memorial Trophy Bowl Cup sort of rolls off the tongue despite it's length, and after all: fantasy football is a marathon, not a sprint. Fantasy is a long hard fought battle, and what better way to celebrate the ultimate victory than with a name that is long and hard to remember? The MTBC (shortening because my fingers are starting to hurt) asks a simple question: what is a trophy? Is it a bowl? Is it a cup? Is it a trophy?

### *South Division*

We have a couple of heavyweight battles right off the bat here in the south division. Four prime names and only two will make it to the Sweet Sixteen.

#### The Rainbow Sprinkle Cup vs. The Helmet to Helmet

Move over Batman vs. Superman, there is a new ultimate showdown in town and it's name is "The Rainbow Sprinkle Cup vs. The Helmet to Helmet."

The Helmet to Helmet is simple and eloquent. The H2H is the most dangerous hit in all of football, maybe all of sports. Motherfuckers lose their ability to walk. Someone is definitely going to die. And you know what? That's how I feel playing fantasy. Every loss feels like a helmet to helmet hit that has my brain one step closer to bleeding out. If Junior Seau drove off a cliff because of his many years of hard hits, just imagine what Nate is going to do to himself when he hits 40.

And The Rainbow Sprinkle Cup. I mean wow. Guys. You really outdid yourselves with this one. You think I'm joking but I'm not. Do I smell Cinderella story? This underdog has the potential to go all the way. They are the 2013 Witchita State basketball team of this tournament. If this name wins, do we have to change the name of the league? I think we do. The Unicorn Defense League? The League of Butterflies? I'm feeling a whole line of merchandise, maybe a world tour.

#### IT vs. The Holy Grail

These two submissions might not have the flash of a Green Bay vs. Dallas, but they pack a small punch regardless.

IT. Well, why not? The ultimate goal is to win it. You work your whole season for it. If it has to be called anything, why not just...IT? Now don't be confused as to what this name is referring to, because there are a whole butt load of things this could reference. No, this is not IT like the Stephen King clown, although the way some of you draft I get the feeling I'm playing with a bunch of jokes. And no, this isn't IT like I.T., like technical support. This is simply...IT. IT is everything we hope and dream. It's that sunshine in my pocket and that good soul in my feet feeling. When people ask "what are you guys playing for?" the answer is "we're playing for IT."

As for the Holy Grail, the first thing that comes to mind is at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when the guardian of the grail tells the guy "you chose...poorly," which applies to just about everyone in this league other than Shotti. But choose wisely, and the grail is yours (again, something that seems to only apply to Shotti). The Holy Grail is another one of those simple generic names that just fits. The Trophy is something so elusive that even when it is within your reach you can still fail to grasp on to it. And every season someone seems to be a Clay Matthews' hair away from drinking from the wrong cup and becoming a rotting corpse.

## So How About that Due-Free Off-Season Bounty?

As some remember, last season we did the NCAA bracket tournament to determine who would have their league dues waived. I'm not sure just yet if league dues will go up from $15 or stay as is. That's something I'll talk to each individual about in the near future and we will come up with a number we all agree on. Some of us are unemployed you know. Regardless, someone will not have to pay their dues this year. And while we will still be doing the NCAA bracket challenge, that's only a piece of the pie, and winning this tournament is a slice too.

In the Sweet 16, every naming tournament matchup your idea wins will give you 10 points. In the Elite 8, if your idea wins you get another 20 points. In the Final Four, 30. And if your idea wins the Championship, you get an additional 40. The trophy name that runs the table will get 100 points to apply to their NCAA Tournament final score during March Madness. If both your teams make it to the final match you'll be walking away with 160 points.

I'll reveal the standings at the conclusion of the tournament, which will be on Super Bowl Sunday.

## VOTE

Enough chit chat, you all skipped to this part anyway. LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

After hours (and I mean HOOOOUUUURSSSS) of trying to figure out how to embed the poll in this page, I've decided to simply supply you with the link and begin the process of reassembling all the furniture I smashed in utter frustration.

VOTE HERE

Voting will close Friday. Get your responses in and we will reveal which names made it to the Sweet Sixteen on Championship Sunday.