Sinister Siesta of Atahualpa's Revenge

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This article (Sinister Siesta of Atahualpa's Revenge), is fan fiction and isn't automatically canon. On the other hand, no one said it isn't.
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## CONQUERING THE MOUNTAINS OF PERU FOR SCIENCE, AMY SMITH AND LAURA NORTH RETURN!

The bus bounding over a massive pothole woke me up with a start, and I quickly adjusted my newsboy before it could fall onto the floor where the goats had been walking. Laura remained oblivious to the world, mouth hanging open as she slept against the dirty, worn window of the bus. It was then that the smell of the vehicle hit me again.

Rubbing my eyes, I looked around to see we were almost where we needed to be. Normally Peru is not my favorite place to go, but when an old friend calls saying he needs a hand, I'm not one to wait around. "Laura, wake up, we're almost there."

Laura gave a snort, pulling her ushanka up from her eyes. "I swear, I'm gonna kill him when we get there. No one should have to suffer through this to get to an archaeological dig."

"He wouldn't have called us if it wasn't important," I said, grabbing our packs from the rack overhead. "Besides, he promised us hot meals three times a day. You're gonna turn that down?"

"Okay, maybe not," Laura said, nodding. "But why'd he say to bring so many cameras?"

"Maybe he ran out of film," I answered. "C'mon, our stop's coming up."

Carefully avoiding the leavings of the goats that had boarded with us, Laura and I made our way to the front of the bus, trying to avoid knocking anyone's hats down. Nodding to the driver on our way out, he tipped his hat with a bandaged hand. Stepping out into the brisk air, I let out a small gasp as the cold tried to seep into my bones.

"You're still not used to it," Laura said with a grin. "Gonna stop ragging on me for hating the jungle now?"

"Not a chance," I wheezed, looking around and seeing no one. "Hey, where's our guide?"

As I spoke, the bus let out a groan and started pulling away, covering us in thick choking smoke. When it finally cleared, we found ourselves standing alone in the Andes with no one to make sure we knew where we were going.

"Think they had to make siesta?" Laura asked.

Hefting my pack, I pulled out the map we'd gotten before getting on the bus. "Apparently we just need to walk straight down this road along the river, then just make our way up the winding road."

"Better get moving then," Laura said, sticking her arm out. Grinning, I wrapped mine through hers and together we walked towards the found city of Machu Picchu. "So what exactly is this place again?"

"From what I remember, it was one of the largest cities in the Inca Empire," I said, keeping close to Laura. "You know he knows more about the site, why are you asking me?"

"I'm just bored," Laura said, rolling her eyes. "You know how boring it is every time we get sucked into seeing him. Remember when he invited us to his lecture series? I don't get how he's on the payroll as an explorer."

"From what I've heard, he's fought the Soviets since WWII," I said, closing on the rail line that ran along the river separating the city from the rest of the farms nearby. "Everywhere from North Africa to the middle of Germany. Apparently the whole archaeologist gig is a good reason to let him across international borders."

"Well he plays the part pretty well," Laura said, looking up at the summit from where we stood. "He's boring as hell and looks as old as the stuff he talks about."

Shaking my head, I let her lead on to the site, as I tried to keep myself from shivering to pieces. Laura didn't seem to care, but then she wouldn't with where she grew up. Which was why I kept telling myself that the walk wasn't *that* long to the summit. For what that was worth.

After a good hour and a half of trying to tell myself that freezing to death was a preferable alternative to dying on a mountainside, we finally made it close to the dig site. The air was so thin that I had to take great massive gulps of air, and I could see Laura starting to breathe heavy as well. Even then, I kept my scarf wrapped around my face to keep from feeling the chill any worse. Thankfully, we were close enough that I could hear the welcome sound of work from the area. Tugging on Laura's arm, I took the lead to the site, only to be stopped by a rustling in the side of the road.

"Don't move any further," a voice growled. "I've got a .30-aught right on your head, you move and you die."

"Okay, just take it easy." Slowly, I raised my arms, nodding for Laura to do the same. She scowled, but still did it thank God. "My name is Amy Smith. I'm a friend of the professor's, he asked me to come here."

"Oh thank goodness," the voice said, suddenly sounding relaxed. Out of the bushes stepped a grad student, clearly exhausted but also carrying an M1. "Sorry, but the professor put one of us out here on guard duty because of the raids."

"Raids?" I asked, looking back at Laura. "What raids?"

"I think you'd better come with me first," he said, adjusting his ballcap. "C'mon, he's up in the center of the site."

Following the boy, I reached into my pack for my gauntlet. If he thought that it was necessary to arm his grad students and put them on guard, something had gone bad fast As we walked through the site, I noticed that it was relatively organized for whatever was happening. Tents had been put up on the terrace fields, along with improvised fortifications, students and local help watching curiously as we passed down the sights of their rifles. Further up in the ruins proper were dig sites, searching for the relics of the past without disturbing anything valuable. Here, students and hired help worked on uncovering anything them could, from old pottery to the odd bone fragment, acting like schoolkids with each new find. We passed a holding tent for the site, inside were stacked so many relics that it could've been a small museum.

But the center of camp was where I needed to find my answers. Here there were two large tents, the mess tent and the expedition's main tent, smaller tents scattered about for sleep and shelter. "We can find our way from here thanks."

"I think I'd better stay with you in all honesty," the boy said. "Professor might not have expected you to make it."

"Then at least wait outside," I said. Taking a breath, Laura and I walked to the main tent, gently opening the flap as we reached it.

A man stood over a large table, others inside either dusting off artifacts or working a small radio. His leather jacket had been scratched or stretched, and the whip on his belt was falling apart form use. Even his favorite fedora was nearly nothing.

"Pennsylvania Dutch," I said, smiling as I pulled my scarf from my mouth. "What've you gotten yourself into this time?"

Dutch turned around with a smile on his wrinkled face. His gray hair poked out from under his fedora, his face rounded with stubble as he stuck out his hand. "I couldn't risk sending one of my people out to the bus stop, it would've put the locals in danger."

"What happened?" Laura asked, looking around the tent at the weapons and rifle rounds stacked to the side. "You're fighting MIR or something?"

"I wish it was MIR," Dutch said, walking over to a hanging map of the site and surrounding mountains. "They're called the Inkarri, believe their purpose is to resurrect the Inca Empire."

"I've heard about them," I said, taking off my hat. "They believe their rulers hid away objects of great power in the earth itself, and that one day these objects could be resurrected and joined to bring them new glory."

"Close," Dutch said, looking over the map. "They believe what's hidden are the mutilated remains of great leaders who were killed by the Spanish. In order to regain power, these pieces must be reassembled into a messianic figure, capable of reuniting Peru and Bolivia and driving out any European influences."

"Gives a whole new meaning to the body politic," Laura said. "But why here? They can't think the Combine would let one of their expeditions go out undefended."

"We came out armed against any competitors," Dutch said, walking over to a small chair and easing himself with a long groan into it. "They've been at this for months, trying to cut our supplies and take the city." Dutch let loose a wide, manic grin. For a second, I thought he'd lost two decades off his body and became young again. "That must mean there's something valuable here that we can find."

Giving Laura a look, I walked over to the map of the ruins. "You said you've been here five months? What'd you find?"

"Right now, we've unearthed several small tunnels, but I'm convinced they lead to a massive chamber at the center of the city," Dutch said, taking a small canteen from his jacket. "For the past few weeks, the Inkarri have been pretty quiet. But I feel like that'll change the second we get close."

"So what do you need us to do?" I asked, turning from the map.

Smiling, Dutch pulled out a roll of film. "Make like a reporter, document everything."

**Continued on Page 18**

**PAIGE 18**

"Two days we've been at this," Laura grumbled, snapping away at yet another small dig site. "Two days without any hot food or a raid from these Inkarri jerks. Normally I don't say I told you so babe, but I stinking told you so."

I didn't try to argue with Laura, because so far she'd been right. Since we'd arrived I'd taken more pictures of broken pottery than an insurance adjuster after a biker rally at a china shop. Still, I tried to save my bitterness for another day when it would be useful. "It's just a temporary problem babe, we'll probably be out doing the fun stuff before we even realize it."

Laura let out a noise that I swore was a cross between a groan and a growl. "What fun stuff? We're basically trapped on a mountaintop filled with ruins and grad students. Between the two, I'd rather take the ruins."

I ignored the comment and kept taking pictures, hearing the life of camp move on behind me. Dutch was talking with one of the locals behind me in the native dialect, going over a map of where to start their next site in the ruins. Patting the local on the back, Dutch came walking over carrying a canteen. "Well tomorrow's the day, we'll be going down beneath the city into the tunnels."

"Great, cobwebs and rocks," Laura mumbled, taking the canteen from Dutch. "Thanks."

"I know, it's been a bust so far," Dutch said, stretching out his neck. "But we're closing in on something big under this city. The Combine wouldn't let me go on something this big if they didn't think it wasn't worth it."

I didn't say anything as I took the canteen from Laura. Dutch was one of the old guard, still believing that governments didn't keep secrets from their own people. Granted, I still try to see the best in the Technocracy. But old Pennsylvania Dutch would have you think that governments only ever think about what's best for their citizens and not themselves. That was probably the real reason he'd been sent out so far. He was making everyone feel a little too guilty that they couldn't live up to his standards.

"Will we need any specific equipment for this?" I asked, quickly taking a swig of water. "Or is it flashlights and ropes for this trip?"

Dutch started to answer with a grin, but looked past me and suddenly shoved me out of the way, running towards the edge of the camp. Looking over, I saw him running towards the same grad student that had held up Laura and I when we arrived. "Carlos, oh Christ, what happened?"

The boy gurgled out an answer, his speech unintelligible through whatever was obviously coursing inside his veins. Laura pushed through the gathering crowd of students and locals, checking every inch of his body that she could. Looking up at Dutch, she shook her head, then pulled the boy's sleeve further up to reveal two small puncture wounds on the inside of his elbow.

"Snakes," Dutch whispered. "Everyone, arm up and get the ammo out, the Inkarri are coming for us!"

The camp snapped to action, students and local help all running for their guns. The supply tent was the makeshift armory, the quartermaster handing out rifle after rifle to the nervous students. Nodding to Laura, I took out my gauntlet as she quickly limbered herself up. "The snakes are trained Dutch?"

"The Inkarri have been using them for the past few weeks, killing us off one by one, but lately they've started using them to be the prelude to attack." Taking out his own worn .38, Dutch nodded. "As long as the other sentries...Oh who am I kidding, both of you round them all up and get them back here safe!" Taking a small map out of his pocket, he handed it off to Laura as we ran, hearing everyone shouting about snakes every five feet.

"Of all the animals you could choose, snakes?" Laura shook her head, jumping high over a table full of shattered artifacts while we ran. "You can't train a snake, can you?"

"You can make the snake hungry and throw it," I said, sliding under a team of horses being moved away from the edge of camp. "C'mon, those sentries need to pull back before it's too late."

With so few ways into Machu Pichu rounding up the students was easy. Sending them back towards the camp in teams, we ran to the furthest post to find it depressingly empty.

"No points for guessing what happened here," Laura said, adjusting her ushanka as she knelt to the ground. "None of the grass here is disturbed from someone in pain though, there was a fight here. They carried the kid off."

Hearing the distinctive hiss of a snake, I spun around to catch a snake being thrown at me in my left hand, the starved beast baring fangs at my face dripping with venom. "Least of a problems right now babe."

Jumping up, Laura and I suddenly realized that the grass all around us was writhing and hissing. Laura kicked at the dirt in front of us and scattered the beasts, but their hunger had made them afraid, and in their fear they had decided to lash out. "Think we can make a break for it?"

Daring to look over my shoulder, I saw that no snakes had landed on the road. "On three. One!" We both took off running, and the air was suddenly filled with a fearful fusillade of scary scaly serpents. Grabbing a stick off the road Laura swung like she was in the bush leagues, the few snakes that landed near us trying to bite through out leather boots to no avail. "C'mon babe, we're almost there!"

Cresting the ridge leading to the ruins, we froze when we saw Dutch standing at the end of the road, leveling his revolver at my head. I tried to skid to a stop, Laura trying to charge Dutch as he pulled the trigger.

*Continued on page 25*

### **Inimigos da Paz: The Inkarri Theocracy**

*Inimigos da Paz is a regular column with the most up to date information and statistics on the most dangerous groups known to mankind. Whether terrorists, cultists, criminal or killer, the following groups are extremely dangerous and care must be taken if encountering said people.*

**What They Claim:** The Inkarri Theocracy claim to be an indigenist quasi-religious cult seeking to restore the Inca Empire to its roots. They act in Andean Nations and territories formerly occupied by said former-state., acting mainly in the mountainous territories of Ecuador, Bolivia, Peru and Northern Chile. The Inkarri also professes Incan traditionalism, meaning their members will be particularly keen on calling onto ancestral ties to convert people of indigenous roots and more traditional values.

**What They Are:** The Inkarri Theocracy is not a religious organization; it is a cult disguising itself as one. Their militant wing is confirmed to be responsible for attacks on remote villages causing innumerable amounts of property damage and deaths of numerous citizens. Their attacks often coincide with tectonic activity - whether this is natural or even man-made is still up to debate - but they are known to feign relief effort to further their recruitment cause. **Don't fall to their lies**. Aggressive in their ways to brainwash civilians to their rhetoric, the Inkarri utilizes its connections in the South American entertainment industry to mesmerize potential neophytes with promises of honor and salvation.

**What You Can Do:** In your family or community, look out for anyone implying membership with the Inkarri Theocracy. Warning signs include espousing radical means to preserve Andean culture, worship of celebrities linked to the Inkarri, monetary losses due to excessive donations to neo-pagan organizations, and sightings in Inkarri ceremonies. If you spot any of these signs in your community, engage them in conversation about the true purposes of the group, citing instances of Inkarri terrorism as detailed in the statistics below. Also, if you notice *any* form of anomalous volcanic activity (i.e. dormant volcanoes becoming active without warning), **do not** hesitate to contact your Disaster Council about the inevitable eruptions. Always keep in mind that slow action led to villages being completely covered by sheer magma flow and any unreported tectonic activity will potentially help to further their goals.

*This column references statistics available for view at all United Technate public archives.*

**Page 25**

The blast hit my ears a split second before the bullet flew over my head, a dead snake landing on my cap and hitting the ground. Laura skidded to a stop a few inches from Dutch, lucky for him. "A little warning next time maybe?"

"You would've frozen and tried to see what I was yelling about," Dutch answered, walking over and stepping on the snake for good measure. "Nothing against you two, it's just human nature."

Laura pointed at Dutch and started yelling anyway. "Listen buddy, I don't care how many years you've spent with the Combine. You *tell* people when you're gonna start shooting towards them and why!"

"That doesn't matter now. The Inkarri just told us two important pieces of information. One, they've got someone on the inside telling them information. Two, they have the forces necessary to cause us some real trouble. Which means we need to get into those caverns, now." Walking to one of the students, he grabbed their weapon and threw it over. "You two know how to handle a gun?"

Catching the shotgun, I quickly checked the safety and chamber. "I usually prefer not to."

"Quarters will be too tight," Laura said, sneering at the shotgun. "They could be on us before we can pull the trigger."

Dutch nodded and turned to the dig team. "Everyone, gather as many of the artifacts in the center of camp as you can and form a defensive perimeter around the storage tents. Get any wounded into the medical tent." Checking his revolver, Dutch nodded to himself. "We three are gonna go down and figure out why this city is so important."

I was going to start arguing with Dutch when the gunfire started. The three of us ducked low, crawling to cover as tracer fire erupted from the jungle and hillside. "I'm gonna talk to you about this whole mess later!"

"Fine, just get to the tunnels!" Grabbing Laura, Dutch pushed her towards the center of the camp as he ran, the three of us watching as the battle started to unfold. Scanning the outer edge of the ruins I saw men dressed in the regional garb, handwoven orange panchos and a worn fedora. Students and locals at the site fired back against their enemy. Rounds sparked and chipped the ancient ruins, and I could see Dutch flinch with each impact.

"So I notice we're running *away* from the fighting, *Laura shouted, more annoyed than angry. "Care to tell us where we're* actually *running?"*

"You didn't think I'd keep the keep the entrance in the open," Dutch said, pulling one of the students down seconds before a missile could kill them. "It's in the main tent, they'd have to fight through all of us to get to it."

Running to the center tent, Dutch threw open the flap and froze, staring inside with shock and fear. Gently pushing past him, I saw that everyone inside had been slaughtered. Guns lay useless in their cases, at lease one of the students turned to a cinder by some unknown fiery means. Awkwardly Dutch shuffled around inside, kneeling near one of the students. I looked at Laura and shook my head, but something caught my eye on one of the tables. Walking over, I saw what looked like a Combine passport and permission from the Federation to work. And all of it was a forgery.

"You were never allowed to come here officially, were you Dutch?" I asked, glaring at the paperwork as Laura came up behind me. "You wanted your glory days back didn't you? Having fun?"

Dutch didn't say anything, he kept kneeling at the student. Laura wasn't so stoic. "So all this was basically a scam?" she growled, starting to stalk over at Dutch. "If you wanted to play in the dirt you should've told us instead of running around like a child in a candy store!"

"This is a vital historic landmark, they knew the risks-" Dutch went flying as Laura kicked him hard in the jaw, my girlfriend storming towards him like she was a tank zeroing in on a target.

"This isn't just some relic Dutch, this is their land. It's been in their lives since they were born, since they had their first kiss and kids." Grabbing Dutch by the lapels, she pulled him up off the floor and into the air, Dutch glaring down at her despite the pain. "You didn't even *try* to ask them to come onto their lands did you? You just treated them like they're too stupid to understand what was happening!"

Dutch grabbed at Laura's wrists and tried to pull himself away, "Don't talk to me like I'm in the Colonization Corps. I tried to talk with the local chiefs and officials, they wouldn't let me in a mile of this place!"

"And you didn't think that maybe you should've listened?" Laura said, tightening her grip. Gently, I put a hand on her shoulder and shook my head. After a few more seconds she stopped barring her teeth at Dutch and dropped him, his aging legs collapsing under him as he landed. "Why is it that no one listens to what the people who live in a place have to say, especially when they're the ones who were living there longest?"

Hearing movement in the center of the tent, I saw a bandaged hand vanish from the tunnel and echoing footsteps from inside. "Later babe, we're got work to do." Jumping down the tunnel, I heard Laura and Dutch follow behind me. Then I realized that the light from above, along with the sounds of gunfire and battle orders, was fading the deeper I went. "Hey, did anyone remember to bring a light?"

A flashlight beam lit up behind me, and I turned to see Dutch standing there with the light in hand. "You kids never remember to grab the essentials before heading into a scrap."

Giving a gentle smile towards Dutch, I led on through the tunnels, the bitter cold slowly giving way to an oppressive heat. Shedding layers as we went, I eventually found myself down to an undershirt and pants. Laura and Dutch didn't fare much better, though Dutch had apparently refused to take off his fedora. "It should not be this hot inside a mountain right?" Laura gasped, finally hanging her ushanka on an outcrop. "We're up this high in the air and it's hot all of a sudden?"

"The earth's a living thing like anyone else," Dutch said, wiping away some sweat. "It gets warmer on the inside. But this isn't natural, I only saw this one time before. India, this mad cult had literally dug out magma channels to let boiling hot lava flow into their ceremonial chamber." Dutch suddenly looked worried. "But the Inca had been around for centuries before that cult was even born, and with continental drift and human evolution there's no way this could be the same situation."

"Well we're about to find out," I said, spotting an orange glow in the distance. Dutch hit the light, and after taking time for our eyes to adjust and for me to firmly strap down my gauntlet we crept forward.

The tunnel slowly opened up into a massive chamber, a miniature Incan temple underneath the mountain. Hiding behind a bend in the tunnel we watched as the Inkarri fighters moved about, either not feeling or not caring about the massive heat coming off the magma pool at the far edges of their base.

"What are they doing?" Laura whispered, as I watched a trio of men circle around the temple, spraying what looked like backpack tanks full of magma at the front steps. "Are they trying to flood the topside with lava or something?"

"They're trying to turn these mountains into volcanoes," Dutch answered. "But it doesn't make sense, the Inca people never had any religious connection to volcanic activity like the tribes on Hawaii."

"I think their dogma's been updated," I said, watching the same bandaged man who'd driven us up the winding mountain roads carrying a rocket launcher and yelling orders to the men in the massive chamber. "What would happen if these mountains did become volcanic?"

Dutch shook his head. "If you have to ask that, I didn't teach you right." He opened his revolver again, checking that he was fully loaded. "After we're finished here we need to call the Allies in, they can freeze the magma into rock and hopefully stop this from going any further."

"That means clearing out the riff raff," Laura said, scanning the chamber. Her eyes went wide as she looked over the pyramid. "Babe, there's something in there at the top."

Looking up, Dutch and I both saw Laura staring at a glowing light inside the temple. It was the only blue light in the entire area, and the only thing that was guarded by two of the tank-weilding heavies.

"Then that's what we need to take," Dutch said, starting to level his revolver. "We take out the leader and the rest won't stand a chance."

I grabbed Dutch's hand before he could take the shot. "I don't think this is gonna stop them Dutch. Those guys with the sprayers are the problem. And I think I know how we can take them all out."

I crawled around to the side of the cavern, careful to hide behind whatever cover was available. I tried to blink the sweat away from my eyes to no avail, watching the movements of my targets. The men with the massive tanks on their backs strutted about like peacocks, hosing their concoction into the magma pits for a reason only they could fathom. For a second I marveled at their engineering, knowing that the fumes off any magma was enough to put even the healthiest people six feet under. It was one hell of a ventilation system.

I didn't shoot him that would draw too much attention. But the heat was getting to me, and I could feel my skin starting to burn the closer I got to the molten earth. Judging everything as I moved, I knew the center of gravity was up high in the tank itself judging by his hunched appearance. Slowly, trying to move slowly despite the heat, I brought the butt of the shotgun up at his head. One sharp thrust later, and he landed face-first into the magma as I sprinted back to cover.

Watching a man sink into lava is actually a pretty quick death. The sheer heat of it basically boils your insides and sets you alight. Even your body doesn't stay for long, since the sheer heat is enough to hit the flash point of any material in existence. His clothes went up in a quick flash, but in seconds the smoke from his smouldering body vanished into nothing as he was swallowed by the earth.

I had to hold the shotgun carefully now, the metal was getting warm just from the radiant heat, and suddenly there was a very real fear that rounds inside would start cooking off before I could even start firing. "*All these years, now I have to fight in a volcano-lair.*" Peeking out from behind the rocks, I watched as Laura and Dutch kicked their targets into the magma, Dutch daring to flash me a thumbs-up before ducking into cover again.

I was ready to move again when I heard footsteps behind the rock. Carefully, I did my best to look over the small boulder to see the bandaged man walking among the pits, speaking to his followers as he went.

"Tell your doctor that the cult of the scorpion will not gain their prize," he said to one of the younger looking locals. "The intruders are on the verge of being wiped out as we speak, and soon this entire chamber will be flooded before they can seize their victory."

"And in return we will restore your history," the local said. Of course, by this point I had the decent feeling that this wasn't a local so much as a spy for another power. Not that he needed to hide it. "I'm curious, why do you wear the bandage down here?"

"Old habits," the driver said, shrugging as he slung his rocket launcher over his shoulder. "With it on, I look like I just had an accident working on my bus. Without it, everyone knows that Kamayuk Punchau is hunting." Finished taking the bandages off his horrifyingly scarred hand, I watched as he tossed the wrappings into the lava, then frown. "Who relieved the man at this post?"

"No one that I saw," the spy said, checking his rifle. "I should leave before Pennsylvania and his two young proteges decide to investigate the tunnels. Will your flock be able to hold them off long enough for the tunnels to be sealed?"

"We'll move to our hideout twenty miles to the south," Punchau said, waving over at his followers. "You can find us there." Bowing to the spy, the disguised agent ran for the tunnels at the other end of the lair. As tempted as I was to go after him, I rationalized that we needed to escape. Not wanting to use the shotgun anyway, I walked out from behind the boulder with my hands high in the air as the sweat kept pouring.

Punchau turned, but he didn't bother aiming his launcher at me. He was smart enough to realize that we would both be caught in the blast. And from where he was standing, he was more likely to be thrown back into the magma pit if he took the shot. "You are wise, moreso than Pennsylvania Dutch. I trust by now you know the truth of his being here?" I nodded. "Then why don't you flee yet?"

"Because I've never been the type of person to let a question alone," I said, slowly moving to my left. "Like what that glowing light in that temple is?"

"A sacred relic of my people and faith," Punchau growled, calling my bluff as he blocked the way forward. By now the rest of his followers had realized there were intruders and were starting to swarm, calling to each other as the guards at the head of the temple stood tall over their post. "You will not steal it like the conquistadors stole my country."

"I'm only interested in exploration," I said, still trying to circle around. "You should've know that this kind of resistance would get Dutch's attention."

"Pennsylvania is already naturally curious," Punchau said, as I saw the ever-thickening line of Inkarri zealots surrounding me. "Our denials only strengthened his resolve to come here. This was our last resort. If you put responsibility on anyone, look towards him."

Looking over the crowd, I saw Laura looking over in my direction, looking for a cue to act. I shook my head and kept talking. "So who wants it instead? The Allies? Soviets? The Empire would just take it from you if they knew about whatever's in there."

"Enough." As he reached over to one of the men nearby I felt a stick hit across my knees. Biting back a yelp I fell to the floor only to have my arms lifted. Bouncing over the floor, I realized they were carrying me towards the temple. And that Punchau had an obsidian knife in his hands and a feathered headdress on.

"Hey, if this is a virgin sacrifice you're making a big mistake," I joked, watching Laura and Dutch slowly crawl up the side of the pyramid. "I mean, you don't want to offend the gods right?"

"You're no virgin, you're a warrior." As two of the men draped a feathered cloak over his back Punchau opened his arms at the foot of the temple. "And warriors have always been prized sacrifices."

"Of course they have," I grumbled, trying to weigh myself down as Laura and Dutch kept climbing. "Do you really think you can trust whoever that guy is working for? They only want what's in the temple."

"And we will draw them in as flies to rotting meat," Punchau said, starting to ascend. "Our messiah will reveail himself when the time is right." Finished with me, Punchau started to pray in his native language. Between the sweat and my hair hanging over my eyes, I kept trying to weigh myself down until two of the men grabbed my legs. So much for that.

"I don't think you'd want to sacrifice her," Dutch shouted. Shaking the hair out of my head, I looked up to see Dutch holding what looked like a glowing fragment of crystal in his left hand, his revolver in his right aimed in the center of the fragment. "The gods want a proud warrior. She skulks in the shadows like me and her girlfriend."

The Inkarri froze, the looks on their faces a mix of horror and terror. Even the men at the top of the pyramid started to back away, Laura glaring them down as they moved down onto the steps. "You don't realize what you have Pennsylvania," Punchau whispered, motioning for his followers to back away. "That is but a fragment of the last great king of the Inca people, to destroy that is to destroy everything we have left."

"Blood sacrifice and terrorism?" Laura scoffed. "Sounds like there's *so* much for you all to live for."

Dutch nodded, glaring at Punchau. "Let'er go Punchau, and once you give us back the grad student you captured we'll leave."

Punchau glared right back at Dutch. "What grad student? We never captured anyone from your camp."

The cavern suddenly shook like an earthquake had hit. Dropping to the floor, I jumped up and grabbed Punchau's arm, Dutch firing away with his six-gun as he stuffed the fragment into his satchel. Laura jumped into the fray, grabbing one of the men with the tanks and forcing him to hose down his fellows. The chamber was suddenly alive with gunfire, rounds flying and bouncing off every corner and angle. Punchau tried to stab me with the obsidian, but when I kicked out his legs he stumbled, trying to recover as his cape swirled around his body. "This is our land," he shouted, taking out another obsidian blade. "All you want is to steal *everything* from us, to take every ounce of pride we have just so stupid children can gawk at it in museums. What about our children? What about what *they* deserve to know?"

I didn't answer, I just picked up two rocks and charged. Despite the shaking Punchau stood firm in the mayhem, watching out of the corners of his eyes as the magma pools started to bubble. Eyes going wide, he met me halfway. His blade were dangerous even after he could stab me, the obsidian fragments capable of keeping me out of action long after the fight would be over. It didn't help that the heat was running me ragged, and even as I danced around him I could feel my muscles protesting the fact that they were running out of steam. "And what have you done with it?" I barked, barely keeping my eyes open as I smashed one of the blades between the rocks. "The Allies were more than willing to work with you on the issue, but you never even thought to ask anyone else for help preserving your culture did you?"

"We can't trust anyone with our past!" Eyes going wild, Punchau charged me again with his blade. Quickly I deflected the blade sideways, directing it into the ground and shattering it. Roaring with anger Punchau grabbed his headpiece and threw it into me. The heavy plumage caught me off-guard, and as I heard the sound of people screaming I watched as he grabbed my neck and started to squeeze. "Our gods will have blood," he growled. "Mine or yours, it doesn't matter." My vision started to fade, and I watched as he grabbed one of the larger fragments and held it high above my chest, his own blood dripping onto my shirt as he gripped the blade.

"How about yours?" Before Punchau could react, Laura sent a hard kick into the side of his head, the sole of her boots leaving a beautiful imprint of the side of his face. "C'mon babe, let's get outta here."

"What about Dutch?" I asked, watching as the Inkarri fled into the tunnels, some losing their balance and falling into the magma pits, others crushed under falling rocks. "We all need to escape, we wont' leave him behind."

"You won't kid," Dutch said, appearing to help Laura by lifting me up onto their shoulders. "Now let's go, we've got a camp to save."

If it was hard handling the heat getting into the cave, it was a nightmare trying to leave when the place was suddenly shaking itself apart. Each step was horrendous, Dutch somehow able to weather the broiling temperatures despite my weight. We nearly stumbled twice, the second time it saved us from being crushed by a boulder landing where we would've been if we hadn't tripped. After five minutes we finally reached the entrance. Looking back, we saw the temple collapsing on itself along with the cavern. As we watched, I saw a golden wave of treasure fall from the top of the temple. Looking at Dutch, I saw his face pained with the loss. Even if he wasn't used to the world as it is, I agreed with him. More treasures of the past lost before we could learn from them.

As we did out best to clamber back into the camp we collected our clothes, the cold suddenly a welcome relief from the volcanic steam bath that we'd just come from. The sounds of rifle fire still erupted in the crisp dusk air, but they were spaced out now, more the sounds of a victorious clean-up operation than a pitched firefight. Nodding to each other, Dutch and Laura walked out before me, waving me on to come to the tent flap.

As I put my head outside the tent I felt a bittersweet taste in my mouth. The students and local help had succeeded, a few prisoners being led away for medical care as their weapons were collected. Some of the students were already smoking away like chimneys, the locals interrogating the prisoners on why they'd attacked under the watchful eye of the more experienced dig team members. It was clearly a win, but the cost was laid out before me in the open area of the ruins. Several students were dead, their friends weeping over them and crying out for an answer. Dutch tiped his fedora low over his eyes, Laura whispering a prayer her family had taught her. For my part, I just watched as the locals carefully moved the bodies away from the camp inside one of the artifact tents. I would've protested, but when I saw the shattered relics and antiquities inside, I put my newsboy back on my head and said nothing. But watching everything that had happened all I could think was, "*Some siesta this turned out to be.*"

### Epilogue

"You're sure I can't convince you both to come with me to Turkey?" Dutch asked. We were at the unveiling of his exhibit from Machu Pichu, and already the cream of Technate society were thrilled at what he'd brought back. "I heard that the local herders found a lost city buried underground, supposed to be the biggest find in centuries, bigger than the baths of the Indus Valley civilization."

I waved Dutch off as I held Laura's arm. "No dice Dutch, Laura says she wants to take a break from lost cities for now." Laura tried to keep a polite face, but as she'd already expressed on the way back, she had no desire to go anywhere again with Pennsylvania Dutch. "But I'm still more than happy to send you film and cameras by post."

Dutch nodded, quickly looking around before leaning in. "The Combine took the relic and say they're studying it. They'll only tell me their 'ranking men' are working on it."

"What about your missing student?" Laura asked.

"No trace of her either," Dutch answered. "All we found where she was taken was a dead scorpion she'd stepped on." Dutch noticed my face light up. "You think it means something?"

"I'm not sure," I said, shaking my head. "What's important is that you take care of your business. After all, that city isn't going to dig itself up right?"

Dutch grinned, turning to Laura with a respectful nod. "Hopefully you'll be willing to see me again some time?"

Laura didn't move, and I squeezed her arm gently but firmly just in case. Taking a deep breath, she looked Dutch right in the eye. "Maybe in the future," she said calmly. "But that honestly looks like a far away place."

Dutch nodded, putting on his fedora. "I deserve that one." Shaking our hands, he tipped his fedora as he walked out of the museum, the brilliant sunlight forcing us to look away as he stepped into the mass of people in Brasilia.

Relaxing my grip, I gave Laura a peck on the cheek. "That was a great effort babe, you've really been working on your anger."

Laura smiled wide, pulling me in by my hip closer to her. "I figured you'd kill me if I caused a scene."

Smiling, I rested my head on Laura's shoulder. Arm in arm, we walked out of the museum and away from the Inca legacy. Today was the kind of day to just sit back and rest on what happened. A proper Brazilian fiesta indeed.

## NEXT TIME: CONSPIRACIES RUN RAMPANT IN SMALL TOWN AMERICA!

 ***Echoes of Adventure***
 ***Journey through the Quantum Gate***
 ***The Battle Against Annihilation***
 ***The Null Set***
 ***The Pandemonium Peril Palooza***
 ***Insatiable Incidents Of Insanity***
 ***Excursion Into Extremist Lands***
 ***Sightseeing At Silentium Soiree***
(R.U.N.) • Uncovering Multidimensional Conspiracies of Doomsday Puppeteers • Majestical Mystical Magnificent Maidens of an Ancient Order • Attack on Titans from the Under-Earth • (Abyssal Ancients) • (Drakonate of Rigelis) • My Secret Affair with a Multidimensional Black-Ops Agent • (The Horde of Unliving Metal) • The Million Man Militia of the Yellow River • (Polynesia Ltd.) • (NKGB Division A) • (Y-Files) • (Imperial Department for Anomalies) • (CBURA) • (SPIDER) • How I Won my Freedom in the Blood-Soaked Arena of Aliens Warlords • (Intergalactic Explorer's Lodges)