Be Still, My Beating Heart

### *I thought it would get easier.*

*Be Still, My Beating Heart* is the twentieth studio album by *The Dropouts*, released on September 30th, 2019. The album revolves around trying to be in love while everything else is going wrong in life.

The album was originally named *Opulence,* but eventually changed names near the last stages of production. The album brings back some of the ska sound that the band used to be known for, but lets it sound more like their current sound, the hard rock and raw lyrics can be found in many of the songs, but the album doesn't nail itself to that sound, leaving some room for slower songs that use a different but complimentary style, seen in the songs *Fever* and *Do It Over*. The album returns to the personal writing style that was mostly absent from *Tales From Summer Camp Vol. 4-6,* with the album art even using a real photo which Nick usually saves for albums that mean more to him than usual, which was seen in the albums *Dorm Tour, Snowfall,* and *That Old Familiar Feeling.* Many of the songs were written about a time in his life where he had gotten out of a deep depressive state and thought things were going to get easier, only to find the effects of the depressive state complicating everything he was trying to get going now that he was out of it.

According to Nick Barnett, the name of the album was something he'd say to himself to prevent him from having panic attacks when thinking too much about the amount of problems and issues he had to deal with at the time in his life the album is about.

## Planning Stages

After finishing *Tales From Summer Camp Vol 6,* Nick Barnett felt burnt out on writing impersonal songs, and felt like they weren't adding to the albums they were making. That being the reasons more personal songs started to slip onto *Tales From Summer Camp,* like *Wacky Misadventures Of The Passenger, Bike Test 1 2 3,* and *9/10.* The album previous to Vol. 4-6, *Daydreamer*, also leaned into the impersonal writing style, which of course was due to their producers telling them people were tired after the personal story that spanned *Dorm Tour* to *Goodbye, Hello!!!*

After this, the band dropped their previous producers Sam Brooks and David Centerfold, and brought Nathan Taylor back on to produce *Be Still, My Beating Heart,* since he knew Nick very well during the time of his life the album is about. Jimmy Rodriguez also helped out, seeing that they were having a small reunion of the original band. The subject matter of the album was decided during the tour for *Tales From Summer Camp Vol 4-6,* near the tail end of *Volume 6*, when some of the feelings Nick used to feel started to creep back up on him, reminding him of that time period - deciding he'd use music to help himself work through it this time.

## Production

*Be Still, My Beating Heart* started production in early March 2019, being one of the fastest produced albums they had made. While most of the time, the songs written on albums are bounced around between band members, the personal nature and the reasons behind the albums existence changed the norm, and had Nick Barnett writing almost the entirety of the album, besides some small tweaks and changes here and there. Nick had locked himself up for almost 3 weeks, just writing the songs featured on *Be Still, My Beating Heart*, getting into a very similar mindset to the *Higher Education* trilogy and epilogue. After finishing the songs, he showed them to everyone, letting them make notes and change little things, but this is one of the only albums by *The Dropouts* where every song was written originally by one person.

Nick starts the album off with *The End Of The Game*, a fun and almost pop like song, bringing up the mood with the almost generic lyrics, an attempt to capture that feeling of getting out of a depressive state and heading into your life after it. The lyrics also introduce a romantic interest, as the time he writes about he had recently developed feelings for a friend, but had a lot weighing him down from a previous relationship and other life problems.

The next song *Search 4 Me* dives into more of the problems he had around the time of his life, but keeps the upbeat and pop like sound, as he reflects on his life and what the future might be like for him, as well questioning the amount of care his friends and romantic interests had for him, whether or not they truly cared enough for him to look for him were he to ever go missing.

The songs *Fever, This Must Be My Exit,* and *I Did Something Weird Last Night* all dive into the possible relationship that was forming between him and his new romantic interest, while *Rainbow, Goodbye, Oh Goodbye,* and *Do It Over* further explore some of the problems that were growing in Nick's life, all holding him back from his goal of being happy and being with someone new.

*Don't Be A Stranger* explores the aftermath of this previous relationship, as he tries to hold onto the friend that was leftover from their relationship, but they both clearly have different ideas of what their lives would be like to each other now that they were no longer together.

And *Victory Song* as the finale has Nick finally opening up to his romantic interest, and telling them his feelings, growing stronger and getting past his problems to finally reach his goal, his happiness, and celebrate their victory together, the end of the song chanting "Don't Give Up Now!" as a reminder to both himself and his new romantic partner, not to give up on each other and not to fall back to the place he was.

Nathan Taylor comes back to produce this album, his improvement in his skills easily seen in how he balances the different styles from each song to sound like they all belong together and flow well into each other. Nick Barnett, Scott Wilson, Nikki Brown, Chris O'Brian, and Kevin Brockton all return as the main band members, while Nathan Taylor and Jimmy Rodriguez hop on to help with some of the tracks on the album, most notably filling out the variety of instrumentals on *Victory Song,* which was written to have a place for every member of the band that was available.