Amazon Yemeni

**Amazon Yemeni** is a Yemeni pervert and Head of Mailroom at the People Of Pervert Operations (POPO). He is the nephew of Jug, who is Yut's cousin.

Amazon's parents went on a pilgrimage to Tibet to meditate with the Dalai Lama shortly after his birth, or so he was told. This was a very long journey, so his uncle Jug began raising him as his own son. Jug and his wife already had six children and their house was very tight, so Amazon had to sleep and spend most of his days in a tent outside their property.

During his tough upbringing in the wilderness, he developed a pervert problem, and when Jug and his wife found out about this, they enlisted him with the POPO in order to rehabilitate him. Amazon began boarding at the institute, which took him off the struggling parents' hands, much to their relief. Although he was somewhat disconnected from his family, he still attended their Christmas parties every year.

After a few months as a patient at the POPO, Amazon decided to take the next step in his rehabilitation and apply for an internal occupation: the Head of Mailroom. His application was at first turned down by the director, as his list of the least interesting things he had licked included a cow. In order to earn the job, the director sent him on a journey to suck that same cow's udders to prove his worth. He travelled to the farm in which the cow lived, in the Scottish countryside. There he encountered Paul MacGrory and had a dispute, but after listening to his stories eventually located the cow and achieved his goal. Upon returning home, he was accepted for his job as the Head of Mailroom and has maintained that position since.

## Appearances in the books

Amazon has only appeared in the first edition of the Norman McFinger book series, The Adventures of Norman McFinger. He is first mentioned during Yut's cousin Jug's backstory, when he is talked about attending the family's Christmas parties. Amazon's backstory is then told and then branched out from, and is eventually returned to before ultimately returning to the McFinger family and Yut.

> *"Jug's nephew Amazon, who often went to the parties, was a pervert on a regular basis. So regularly that he actually got paid for being one. He joined the POPO, or the People of Pervert Operations.*
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> *On his job application he had to list the least interesting things he had licked over his lifetime. The POPO director said that a cow was not not interesting enough to be a fully qualified pervert. So Amazon went back to the farm he located in the Scottish countryside to suck the exact same cow's udders. He had hoped that this would be enough to make him qualify for his job, the only one he could be good at; being creepy. He jumped over the long iron fence made of wood, and caught his middle toe on a splinter that wouldn't move off the fence.*
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> *Since Amazon was wearing shoes, the farmer who owned the farm and farmed on it saw the toe, and took it very seriously. He saw that his middle toe was pointing directly at his right cheek, which, in his culture, meant "You're pretty bad at life." The farmer, whose name was Paul, said, "Hey, my name's Paul. You are offending my culture. I don't not dislike it." Amazon didn't mean to offend Paul, but he did, so he said, "I'm sorry." But it was not easily understandable, and his Yemeni accent made it sound like he was saying, "Scottish people stink. They smell like maggots, especially the ones named Paul."*
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> *Paul was very offended, especially since his mother was a maggot, and he had inherited the maggot genes, making his face look like a plum, and his legs look like pork crackle. Paul took off his big heavy styrofoam boot and threw it at Amazon. But the boot missed, because Paul was facing in the opposite direction of Amazon. Then he turned around, and when he saw Amazon’s arousing thighs, Paul was turned on. He hadn't had a lover in so long, he was craving those thighs. Paul slowly walked over to Amazon, and Amazon said, “Are you going to release me, kind sir?” But Paul heard, “Are you going to touch me, horse man?”*
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> *...After it took seven hours for Paul to explain his story to Amazon (remember, the pervert nephew of the cousin of the plumber of Norman), Paul finally injected halogens into Amazon’s soft, bouncy thighs. Paul then licked the syringe, and a few halogen particles landed on his hard, shiny, dark black tongue. A few was enough to send Paul into deep, deep, coma. But the amount that Paul gave Amazon was enough to shoot him right off the iron fence made of wood and land on a giant cow dropping. His face liked the feeling of nice, mushy dung so he stayed there for a while. Little did he know that there was a cow right behind him, sniffing his smelly little butt cheeks.*
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> *Amazon turned around viciously and said to the cow, “Hey, these butt cheeks were a special present from my mother, respect them.” The cow mumbled a faint, but memorable, “Moo.” And that sound made Amazon realise that this was the exact cow he had licked all those years ago. He kneeled before it, stared into its deep, dark rectum, and began to wrap his mouth around the udders. The cow screeched, and took out its phone and took a selfie of Amazon with it, added a nice filter, and posted it to the cow’s best friend Carol. But nobody knew that except the cow, who knew Carol personally. But he didn’t call Carol Carol, that would be stupid. No, he called Carol “Moo.”*
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> *Carol instantly got the post, and ran over the paddock to hit Amazon in the head with her big cow bell. Amazon went flying back over the fence, but managed to get his job with the POPO."*
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