Pierre Bezukhov

## Count Pyotr Kirlovich "Pierre" Bezukhov

Dave Malloy as Pierre Kirilovich

Bewildered and awkward Pierre

### Relations

Hélène the lesbian (unhappily married wife)Bananatole the bisexual (brother-in-law)

## Portrayed By

### Broadway

Josh GrobanScott Stangland (Standby)

Okieriete Onaodowan

The 27 year-old illegitimate son of a famous Russian family. Socially awkward and with a melancholy streak, he is an outsider in society despite his copious amounts of wealth. Pierre is a good 'friend' of Andrey and keeps an eye on Natasha for him while he is away at war. He is fat, and doesn't care who knows it. Fuck yeah this is so good for him. we love a king like this. He's married to the slut Helene but doesn't have any sex. Imagine being married to a slut and still not getting any sex. Poor guy. That is sad for him. #brocken

Pierre is a sad, sad man. The reason for his sadness is all of the Oak slander on this wiki. Pierre Bezukhov loves and supports Oak Onaodowan. Pierre Bezukhov would have choked Lucas too.

According to Dave's soundcloud, Pierre's got a lot of hair, if the truth would dare he's a teddy bear. I'm sure he'll go in on your time share. He used to be better, he used to be better, he used to wear sweaters, but now he's a Heather.

At some point in the novel, War and Peace, Pierre joins a cult. In the initiation process, Pierre was required to urinate on a item of his choice that was important to him. He chose his wife, Helene Bezukhova, who got so sad she went at it with Marya D, who forced her to attend church every Sunday to cleanse her soul of Pierre the Pear piss.

There was also a scene where he, along with Anatole and Dolokhov, tied a policeman to a bear and threw them both in the river. I read somewhere that Dave Malloy wanted to include this in Great Comet with a stuffed bear and everything but eventually decided it wouldn't work. It was replaced with the duel scene.

Peter Bazooka hates the police. All his homies hate the police. ACAB amirite TIE THEM TO BEARS AND YEET THEM IN THE FUCKING RIVER (please)

Can confirm, pierre does not like police, in War and Peace he says "come get this ass" and immediately jumps on them

Pierre often makes refrences to his large hands. We all know what large hands mean. It is also known that Pierre is very obese, probably due to him being an alcoholic. Despite them being older than him, he frequently gets called "old poofer" by Anatole, Helene, and Dolokhov. This is why Pierre ultimately shoots Dolokhov and has sex with him to apologize.

After starring in Toy Story 3, Pierre decided he was done with everyone's bullshit and decided to purse an acting career.

By the end of War & Peace, he married his dead boyfriend's fiancee. You know, like you do.

Portrayed by Dave Malloy (the musical's creator) during the 2012 Off-Broadway Ars Nova run and the 2013 Off-Broadway Kazino Meatpacking District run, portrayed by David Abeles in the 2013 Off-Broadway Kazino Times Square run, Scott Stangland in the 2015 American Repertory Theater (ART) run, and Josh Groban in the 2016 Broadway Imperial Theater run. Briefly Okieriete Onaodowan in 2017, then Oak Onaodowan after that and still Oak Onaodowan because he is a king and is our Forever Pierre.

to whoev wrote the paragraph above: thank you for that last sentence

Pierre SEEMS gay, but is supposedly straight… I guess we’ll never know.

As of 1/23/22, he has been confirmed as pansexual.

## Gallery

Josh GrobanJosh and Lucas in their ultimate formsDave Malloy as Pierre on BroadwayOkieriete Onaodowan as Pierre (aka the best Pierre)