Gopnik Gop Square Vatnik

**Gopnik Gop Square Vatnik** (Rus. "*Гопник Гоп Квадратный Ватник*", roughly translates as Thug Gop Square Cotton-padded jacket) is a satiric cartoon series, very popular in Kyungastan and other post-Soviet states. In-Universe, it's a Russian rip-off of the Spingebill Testicle Pants. It's mentioned in IronClaw's **Just Cause X: Global eXhange** series**.**

## Synopsis

Gopnik Gop is a satirical propaganda cartoon, centered about three main characters - Gopnik Gop, Squatsman and Chiker-Briker, who constantly fight with the "forces of liberalism", commanded by evil "Jew-Reptiloids from planet Nibiru". The cartoon is very violent, main characters (and everybody else) constantly swear, and there is agressive product placement of Russian companies like URGA. Gopnik Gop strongly encourages *vigilantism*, and it's also encourages pro-Russian jingoism.

While JCX does not feature TV-shows like Just Cause Unity or Just Cause Karthstan, commercials for the Gopnik Gop Square Vatnik can be heard on pro-Russian Radio Stations (The WAVE, Radio Mayak and Heart and Soul FM), and can be seen on posters throughout the country (which are minor sabotage objects).

## Characters

### "Good guys"

* Gopnik Gop the Square Vatnik - the main character, a living Cotton-padded jacket (which is a symbol of GULAG prisoner) who is constantly drunk, beats people for no aparent reason and considers himself a patriot. He wears a lot of Russian and Soviet patriotic lables, sometimes contradicring each other (for example, a hammer and sickle, a communist symbol, and a kolovorot, a russian nazi equivalent of swastika). While somewhat strong, Vatnik is impressingly dumb, and is almost always ends up in a dire need of his comrades help. In situations most dire, however, Vatnik trnasforms into Superpowered version of himself - a Ratnik (Rus. "Warrior"),
* Squatsman - a petty criminal thug who constantly squats. He's wearing a tracked suit and likes sports, such as athletics and martial arts. He's very good with his knife, "the finka". While not as heavy drinker as Vatnik, Squatsman is very fond of Russian famous beer, the "Baltika", and constantly promotes it to viewers. He also promotes cheap cigarettes called "Prima". While he uses weapons other then knife, he promotes URGA. Squatsman is pretty smart, and can be considered a "leader" of trio, but he's also very rude.
* JJ the Tyrant - a recurring character and a narrator of the series, this creature is an interdimensional conqueror who promotes dictatorship. He's very violent and he hates people, willing to enslave everything that is, since "people don't know what to do with themselves", and therfore "they need someone who will think for them"; he's the original creator of Russian Imperialism and then Communism. It has an ambiguious gender, as it's voiced by a girl, but refferenced as if he was a male by other characters.
* Chiker-Briker - he's a former soldier, who always wears a balaclava to hide his face. It's implied he might be a war criminal. He's not talking much, but he's very good with his guns. Chiker-Briker promotes URGA products. He's a "muscle" of the trio. While somewhat violent, he's also the most polite of the three.

### "Villains"

* Brothers Salnik and Sasalnik Tuhlyuks - archetipical duo of Ukrainians, they are a counterpart of the Vatnik, but even more stupid but also weak physically. They are also homosexual. Tuhlyuks dream of european style of life and constantly schemming against Russian "patriots".
* Nerd, Bitard and Hikkie - a trio of basement dwellers who hate sports, society and real world. They live in virtual reality and hate to go out much. They want to work as video streamers and professional gamers, but Russian law restricts it. Therefore they hack various sites and do other evil things that computer folks do. They are sworn enemies of the Vatnik.
* Jew-Reptiloid from planet Nibiru - a reptile-like capitalist who is a counterpart of the Tyrant, and also wants to enslave the world, but not by force, but by power of money. He wants all people to become obese and buy his products. Then the Nibiru people will invade and eat all the fat earthlings.

## Trivia

* It's an obvious parody on all Russian political memes.

## Gallery

JJ the TyrantJJ the Tyrant, show's Narrator"Normal" VatnikTransformation into RatnikSquatsmanChiker-BrikerSalnik and Sasalnik TuhlyuksHow Nerd, Bitard and Hikki end upThe Jew-Reptiloid