Minish/Kaizer Canon

The following page details the **awful exploits of Minish** in a bizarre and terrible series of events detailed by the Kaizer Family.

**Warning**: **The following is very outdated information regarding the former group, the Kaizers.**

Minish Kaizer was born in space (though where exactly is unknown). He grew up on a small planet covered in snow alone, not knowing who or where his parents were. When questioned, he has revealed that his oldest memory is one of finding a decrepit, ruined mansion in which he lived most of his life. He quickly learned to hunt for his food using knives and other tools found around the large house. He also learned to fish during this time. However, he was never able to uncover who the previous owners of the mansion were. After many years had passed, a scouting ship used by the Galactic Federation landed on the planet and found Minish.

After questioning him, the Galactic Federation took Minish off of the planet and brought him to the Galactic Federation headquarters in space. Scientists did studies on him but many tests heeded no results, revealing only that Minish was eleven earth years old. He took school courses from a private tutor on the ship for three open-space years (two earth years), learning many languages and studying numerous subjects. After his year of studying he was granted clearance to a small Galactic Federation starship and, hoping to discover an alternate world, flew into a small dimensional wormhole sighted nearby.

Minish discovered Hyrule within the wormhole and quickly signed himself up to become a knight in the court of Lady Stars and Lord Link, hoping to learn about the country's culture and royal family. It was here that Minish first became acquainted with DekuStickMaster and Pie. During his stay, Lady Stars quickly grew fond of Minish and appointed him her Chief Knight. Shortly after this point, an eccentric vigilante called Tingle (who opposed Stars's abuse of fairies) threatened Stars's position. Minish, beginning to fall for Stars, took his vassals as well as DekuStickMaster and Pie to defeat Tingle. However, headless, Tingle wandered into Stars' castle, where he was promptly stabbed and killed by Link. Stars was disappointed, as she used Minish's accomplishments as an excuse to sneak him kisses. As time went on Stars began to fell in love with Minish. Stars's husband, Link, who had been under the influence of a small dose of Aphrotoxin for years, broke free of the drug's influence and attempted to kill Minish; however, Stars would not allow it. Stars told Minish to escape with DekuStickMaster and Pie, and she unleashed a powerful spell, destroying most of Hyrule (and presumably Link with it).

After Link was killed, the court disbanded. Minish alone for a long while before finding Stars again while she was searching for her mother. The two of them discovered Kaizerland, where they met up with another former court member, AuronKaizer and his wife, Anju. Eventually, DSM and Pie found the four of them, and the small group decided to build a manor where they lived. Eventually, an acquaintance of Minish's, Xykeb Zraliv, found the group and lived with them as well. The group began to grow in numbers, and they began calling themselves the Kaizer Family.

While the group lived together, Minish continued to date Stars, who seemed happy at the time; despite this, Xykeb Zraliv, who had become a good friend of his, warned him that Stars had a high potential for depression; however, Minish did not listen. The relationship went on for over a year, with Minish growing increasingly unhappy as it continued; this was not a huge problem, but other events transpired, causing the disbandment of the Kaizer Family.

After the Kaizers disbanded, Stars stole a small black spaceship nicknamed the PK Ninja and became morbidly depressed once again. Minish, bewildered at this side of Stars, became increasingly wary of her. Upon finding Xykeb stranded in Happyville, the two allowed him to live with them in the PK Ninja, which he, with nowhere else to go, reluctantly accepted. However, Minish and Stars began to fight more and more, eventually leading to the two of them breaking up. Stars kicked the two of them out of the PK Ninja before settling on the infamous crime world of Essex, now even more depressed.

Minish and Xykeb Zraliv later found ex-Kaizers and founded the Pansy Family; however, because all of the members of the family were broke, none of them could afford a mansion, forcing them to move into an underground bunker that had never been used for anything suspicious before ever. Minish, having been elected the unofficial leader of the group, maintains that this was *not* a Bad Idea.

**Warning**: **Crappy fanfiction ends here. Freakin' Pansy Wiki has supplied a convenient corner for you to sob your eyes out in to the left.**