Trapped Safari

The **Trapped Safari** is a scene wherein the boat passes a safari that's been chased up a tree by a rhino.

## Description

### **Disneyland**

*Main article:  Disneyland's Jungle Cruise*

Text

### **Magic Kingdom**

*Main article:  Magic Kingdom's Jungle Cruise*

The boat curves around the promontory and passes by rhino who's chased a safari up a tall tree. The men are struggling to climb higher, and they move up and down the pole.

At the bottom, the rhino tries to gore the lowest man's rear end. The rhino's had some success so far; the seat of the lowest man's trousers have been ripped off, exposing his underwear.

It can be a very gruesome scene when the animation isn't working, and it looks as though the rhino's horn has not only violently sodomized the lowest man, but also pierced back out through his spine.

There are also three hyena, cackling at the scene in the middleground, and one who's cackling right beneath the tree. In the background, two zebra and two gazelle peek in from the foliage to spectate.

## Location

### **Magic Kingdom**

The scene takes place on the Nile, after the African Veldt, but before Crocodile Country.

## Spiel

### **Disneyland**

I understand there's a trapped safari somewhere in this area.  There they are!  Maybe that's the origination of the saying, "Low Man on the Totem Pole!"

I think that rhino will make his point in the end, don't you?

### **Magic Kingdom**

#### **Fast Rhino**

There's a law of the jungle that says African rhinos can run faster than safaris on foot.

Even though a rhino can weigh over two tons, he can still run as fast as a horse! Too bad they can't!

The moral of this tale: you don't have to run faster than a rhino. You only have to run faster than the person next to you.

Looks like those guys got a real charge out of the rhino!

#### **Violent Sodomy**

They'll get the point in the end.

How would like to be the low man on that totem pole, eh?

They're caught in some sort of local uprising.

Those guys have their ups and downs.

That's a pretty upwardly mobile group!

What an uplifting experience!

Bottoms up, fellas!

They're in a tight spot! At least that rhino seems willing to give 'em a lift.

I told those guys not to argue with a rhino because rhinos always get their point across in the end.

There's supposed to be a safari on foot out here at this point to meet us, but they're not here. I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of this. [The skipper notices the scene.] Well, it looks like the rhino is getting to the bottom of it for us!

#### **Ignoring the Scene**

Wouldja look at that. I cannot believe what I'm seeing! There must be a million rocks on this beach!

There at the bottom is my friend, Eena. Everybody say, "Hi, Eena!"

#### **Miscellaneous**

Look on the bright side, fellas: you could've been a zebra!

Last time time I was here, the leader of this safari camp asked if I could help him track some animals. I asked what kind. He said, "Rhino," so I said, "Rhinot?" Unfortunately, he seemed to have missed the point altogether.

#### ***Jingle Cruise***

*Main article: Jingle Cruise*

You've heard of the North Pole? Well, this is the "Quick-Before-We-Get-Trampled-By-A-Full-Grown-African-Rhino-Let's-Climb-Up-This" Pole!

Reginald didn't think he could reach the top of the tree to place the star, but that rhino will see him through to the end.

Gee, Mr. Rhino, I usually just string popcorn!

Did you know that hyenas are actually a sub-species of elf? They're Santa's little yelpers!

[The skipper indicates a specific guest.] What do you think; is this the North Pole? [If the guest says "No:"] It's not? Shows what rhi-no! [If the guest says "Yes:] Yeah, well, rhi-no differently.

...and that's why you never give a rhino a fruitcake.