Klif

> "If you're not gay, you'll let me grab your balls a little bit. It's a bro thing"
>
> ― Klif to Cletus, Clyde, and Corn

## Background

Klif enrolled into the U.S. Marines to "Punk some dank bitches like I do in Ball of Booty". The Drill Sargent was genuinely impressed with his combat training, understanding that Klifs' only background was videogames. He was excelling at every challenge thrown at him, but he later contributed towards fun card games between the cadets. Klif began to start hosting the sessions once people stopped playing. The card games developed to the point where people owed Klif money and he began harassing and eventually hurting the cadets who owed him money. Word quickly spread around like wildfire and he immediately got kicked out of the military. Down on his luck, Klif calls up his high school drug dealers and he started being the muscle man to the guys who owed his friends drug money. He started getting a brash reputation in the 2-bit gangster community, eventually developing a mercenary title for low level criminals. He even was honorably mentioned in the "Top 10 Mercenaries of the Year" magazine. With this point of popularity he got the attention from people like Lamar Davis, and Martin Madrazo. Klif remained low level for a very long time until he got a pre-planned deal that got him $500,000.

## The Job

Klif got a call from Martin Madrazo stating that he knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy that wanted to take down a group of criminals named "The BaDoinkaDoink Boys". Martin continued explaining that he knew that Klif worked with the group through a freelance contract that went through Lamar Davis. Klif understood he was being hired because out of all mercenaries besides one incompetent and rude one, he was the only one that has spent somewhat quality time with The BaDoinkaDoink Boys. Klif was hesitant with the deal because he believed that The BaDoinkaDoink Boys were decent people and was unsure of agreeing to it, until Martin offered $500,000 dollars to take down the group. Klif was shocked but was still debating it, until Martin offered it all up front. Klif took the deal instantly and started planning his attack.

Klif got to work almost immediately after the deal was agreed upon, he started doing research on each BaDoinkaDoink boy and figured it would be best to implement rifts in their personal lives. He realized Corn and Clyde really had no secrets to blackmail them with, but he found information of Cletus BaDoinkaDoink that relates to a murder of his cousin. He sent a box full of evidence to his Mother, knowing that this would hopefully make Cletus becomes paranoid and lead him into a trap. There would be no bites from Cletus after the box being shipping. After months of strategizing he considered taking them all out at once, he understood 4 highly trained and professional criminals would be damn near impossible. He then got a phone call from Cletus BaDoinkaDoink vaguely talking about a situation in which they all needed to talk to him. Klif saw it as an opportunity of a physical and mental attack on the group to kidnap their leader, trying to get them in one place, kill Cletus, and hope that they will be so mentally distressed about their fallen leader, that the odds might be in his favor. While thinking of this plan while talking to Cletus, Klif made up an excuse to why he feels uncomfortable with all of them showing up at once and convinced Cletus that he would appreciate it if only he could show up for the meeting. Cletus viewed this as understandable and wanted Klif to of course feel comfortable with the situation, considering Cletus was only looking for a potential rat and truly believe Klif was not the snitch.

After a couple days, Cletus gave him a call, and he agreed to be ready for the meeting. He later met with Cletus, and Klif managed to tackle him, tie him up, and throw him in an armed to blow van. Klif answered a call from Corn off of Cletus's phone, and alerted the group that Cletus was kidnapped and raised the question "Are you fast enough to save him?". Klif had no intention of sparing Cletus, he just knew that this would further distress the group. The BaDoinkaDoink Boys hurried and as they showed up, Klif hit the trigger and he knew the moment they realized that Cletus is dead, he attacked with his brand new firework rocket launcher. He was able to get the jump on the group, but they quickly adapted and started a fire fight.

Klif didn't like the chances of his position being on top of a mountain so he quickly fled in his brand new Lamborghini. Klif then was being hunted down by The BaDoinkaDoink Boys, they later on in the car chase got the attention of the LSPD. Klif offered their business be dealt with later once they deal with the cops, the group unfortunately agreed. As soon as Klif got in the car, he pointed a gun at Clyde and stated that he had a hostage. Klif understood that once they lost the cops that they don't shoot him so he was ensuring his safety. The cops lost sight of Rocco and Clyde drove to the Mirror Park Railyard. They continued the firefight and the group got Klif in a corner. Clyde wanted to press Klif and figure out why he did this, after Clyde offered 10 seconds for him to tell them what they want to know, Klif knew he wasn't going to make it out, so he waited for the 10 seconds to end and said "Tell Martin Madrazo, I'll see him in hell". Klif shot Clyde in the shoulder, Clyde then shot Klif in the head. As Klif's dead body was falling, the whole group opened fire on his dead corpse. Corn then walked up to his body and started smashing it with a monkey wrench.

Klif died with dignity on December 18th, 2020.