186: Don't Drink the Parsley!

## Summary

The jubilant lizardfolk celebrate the death of Chilchirah by holding a feast in honour of the party. Batthwack gets the party started with a toast and after just one mug of lizardfolk special brew, the entire party (except Will) are totally plastered. Hilula has also stayed sober and tells Raphina in confidence that she has a sensitive item to return to Beartoggle, though Will overhears this and later learns that Hilula had been lying.

## Synopsis

The party, still disguised as lizardfolk, have just defeated Chilchirah and heard raised voices around the corner of the cave.

Around the corner, the party see a group of Lizardfolk heartily celebrating the death of their tyrant leader Chilchirah. They've hoisted Bilaroth upon their shoulders and they're marching him around shouting jubilantly in draconic. Some of the lizardfolk are running away to tell others that this great feat has been accomplished. As the party approach, they are seen and a great cheer goes up *"Kappa-Kah!"* and they are surrounded by jubilant lizardfolk. Will is very perturbed by having his personal space invaded. Mo reassures him that everyone thinks they are celebrities now and they want to hold a feast in the their honour. Will is concerned *"Are we gonna serve Chilchirah on a table?"* Mo says he ate Chilchirah's heart. Dew asks the party *"Do we need to bring some token to the Rainbow Trout?"* Mo is very excited to learn that they've met the Raindow Trout and tells them he wants to meet him too. He tells them he'll escort them to the feast because they don't speak draconic. They set off.

On the way, Batthwack is still bothered by the Chilchirah's comment about a demon. Will just wants to leave but everyone convinces him that he should eat something as he hasn't eaten properly in a while. They quietly discuss whether they should drop their disguises now and Mo suggests it might be easier if they keep it up for the time-being. *"Maybe you stay as is. I think maybe simpler."* he says. Meanwhile Raphina has been shouting *"Kappa-Kah!"* doing her best to keep up with the celebrations and divert attention from the party's discussions. The lizardfolk are loving it and the celebration continues.

They wind their way through the halls of the lair back to a room where they've been before, the large banquet hall. At the time of its initial discovery it had appeared largely disused, but now it is a scene of great hustle and bustle; much activity and merriment abounds. There are soldiers, commoners and younglings. The table is strewn with steaming hot platters and people are coming and going carrying things to and fro.

Batthwack sits down at the head of the table. There's a great array of delectable treats, most of which appears to be raw meat, particularly fish and shellfish (there are luminescent lobster scattered about), but also other land beasts like wild boar and deer and piles of entrails which the lizardfolk are digging into.

Will is looking around for salt or spices of any kind but not finding anything. Batthwack meanwhile is reaching across him and grabbing bits of luminous lobster and scooping it out into a reed and rolling it up and eating it. It tastes wonderful and Batthwack's mouth is glowing bright blue. Dew is tucking into the deer meat, blood juices running down his chin to match his tattoos.

Batthwack makes another "lobster burrito" and seasons it with some salt from his rations for Will who is slightly non-plussed *"What is this for? What is this?"* Batthwack doesn't answer and makes another one. Will's stomach growls heartily as he looks at the food. He finds a skewer, nods to Batthwack and gets up from the table and goes out into the hallway just outside the door. He casts *Create Bonfire* to spark up a flame and skewers the glowing meat which is drizzling and popping as the juices fall into the flame. Little blue licks of fire rise up.

Will catches sight of Kek, who is eating heartily at the table, shovelling food into his mouth. At that moment Will realises that his *Charm Person* spell is wearing off. Kek stops eating and looks up. His head swivels and he looks directly at Will, making eye contact. Then he begins to sob uncontrollably. Will is very confused by this. He pretends not to care and gingerly eats some of the food which is delicious. Losing composure, he immediately wolfs down the rest of it. He then makes his way towards Kek, picking up some more food along the way. Raphina hops down from the table to walk by Will's side. Kek is slumped down to the ground, his head between his arms, clearly in total despair. Raphina can't speak draconic but has a go anyway, hoping that the effort she's making will cheer him up. The sobbing slows down a bit and he picks his head. His eyes are bloodshot. He says *"Kek"*, and reaches out to Raphina with his massive clawed hand, and places it down on her head, completely covering it. Raphina realises about the spell, and intuits that Kek feels betrayed. He thought he had a friend, but is devastated that it was a sham and now he is alone.

Raphina suggests Will give Kek a hug, but he appears very resistant to that idea. Raphina shoves Will and he stumbles in front of Kek so that they're face to face. Will offers the food he picked up on the way over. Slowly, Kek's face softens and he wraps his arms round Will, squeezing him tightly. Will wheezes and softly in his ear he hears *"Kek."*

Mo sidles up next to Dew at the table and says *"You... You know Rainbow Trout?"* Dew says he didn't meet him personally but that the rest of the party did. Mo asks who Dew's god is and he reveals he serves Ilmater, the god of endurance. Dew asks him about the Coursing Carp and explains that he felt an unusual quickness as he had carried him, which Mo says was probably the magical effect of the Carp flowing into him. Mo is very grateful for what they've done, saying that Chilchirah had destroyed the lizardfolk culture in the lair and that now they're free, they'll be able to live their lives and be themselves. Dew suggests maybe this is an opportunity for the lizardfolk and the people of Norton to bring their two communities closer together. Mo suggests he could be a representative of the lizardfolk in talks with Norton, especially as he'd like to meet the Rainbow Trout.

Bilaroth slams down a wooden mug sloshing with with liquid in front of Batthwack and says *"It is now time that we toast to this great victory. As the leader of your group, you may lead us all in this dedication to our great conquest of the villain that was Chilchirah!"* Mugs are being slammed down in front of everyone. All eyes are on Batthwack, who stands, raises his sword and says *"To the end of Chilchirah! Kappa-Kah!"* before downing his drink. A chorus of shouts across the room echo his words and everyone begins downing their mugs too. Dew downs his drink. Will sniffs his drink (it smells spicy and alcoholic) and seeing that Kek is drinking, sips it. Raphina dips some parsley into hers and eats it. The drink is obviously extremely powerful because Dew, Batthwack and Raphina are suddenly very intoxicated. Will being practiced at having to attend public functions and keeping a clear head has managed to drink little enough to be sober. The whole room is now having a great time and Will is taking it all in.

Raphina climbs under the table and lies down. Hilula crawls under the table next to her. She tells Raphina in confidence that she needs to get back to Beartoggle as she has something sensitive that she needs to get back to them, patting her bag as she says this. Will notices.

Dew crawls under the table with them. *"Would any of you lovely ladies care to dance?"* Hilula accepts but Dew's dance is little more than uncontrollable spinning and he ends up sprawled on the floor in front of Will. Raphina does the Worm out from under the table.

Batthwack asks Bilaroth to arm wrestle. Batthwack wins despite being drunk and Bilaroth good-naturedly punches him in the face and Batthwack shoves him back.

Will can tell that Hilula is also sober, but pretends he is drunk to question her. Hilula says she doesn't drink. Will asks where she's from and she says she's from Beartoggle. Dew reappears from under the table, looking for Hilula. She takes Dew's hands, helps him to his feet and begins to lead another dance. Will begins to dance with Raphina to get closer to Hilula. He manages to sneak a look in her bag and finds nothing except food that she has apparently taken from the feast as provisions.

## Trivia

* The episode title is a quote from Abby. Dew, Batthwack and Raphina are immediately intoxicated after having tried the lizardfolk's drink, and Raphina after having only dipped some parsley into it and eaten it. Shortly after that, when Hilula approaches her to ask for help, Raphina is a little worse for wear. *"Oh, Lalulalulahulalula!"* she says by way of greeting. Eric/Hilula: *"Are you okay?"* Abby/Raphina: *"Hulu?! Laluhululadu... Don't drink the parsley!"* Greg: *"Are you drunk or were you hit real hard in the head?"*