Becoming the Bait/Dialogues

***Manila, Philippines***

Spyro: Do we have to be here, old man? From what I heard this place isn’t exactly the best place when it comes to politics.

Alexa Huh, I didn’t expect you to be the type of person to care about politics.

Spyro: Oh f\*ck off, drunkard.

Alexa: I only drank one beer for the record, Spyro. Plus, I'm not that person who has an addiction to smoking nicotine. I'm surprised you managed to live till old age, most people would die younger from lung cancer.

Tashard: I do hope you both aren’t here just to bicker, we’re on a very important mission!

Jennifer: Does that include getting my husband back!? I’ve been waiting like hell for something to happen!

Spyro: Why would we put our full care into a f\*cking doll, when there’s a cult endangering the supernatural? If you want to shag something, at least get a real guy!

Jennifer: DON’T TEST MY PATIENCE, SPYRO! IF THE CHIEF WASN’T HERE I WOULD BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!

*SLAM!*

Spyro: …I guess I made her snap.

Tashard: We’re getting sidetracked, we’re here to find Miss Cloris Crypt. Go to the witch hut that we know she lives at! I’ll deal with Jennifer.

Spyro: What the hell is the point geezer? It’s in standard fashion at this point for the person we’re looking for to end up dead, we’d be lucky if she’s alive!

Tashard: Agent Beifong messaged me that she’s alive, so go to the witch hut, otherwise you’ll have paperwork with your name on it!

Spyro: Alright, f\*ck you then. Not surprising if we end up seeing Ms. Crypt’s body near that witch hut. That would've been the biggest "I told you so" moment.

## Chapter 1

**Investigate Witch Hut**

Spyro: Hah, there is a body here! I knew it!

Spyro: Wait, you say it isn’t Cloris Crypt? Then who the hell is that?!

Cloris: Who said my name? Is there anyone here?

Spyro: Damnit! Looks like you’re the Cloris Crypt we’re looking for!

Cloris: Eh? You’re looking for me?

Cloris: Wait? Is that a dead body!? Holy! That’s Flordeliza Guevarra! My neighbor!

Cloris: Wait a minute… I see what’s going on now... You’re the IPS... I’d figure my fellow witch Ms. Guevarra’s cessation was soon.

Spyro: Witch? Alright, lady, we’ll need to talk to you about this.

Spyro: Well, now that I look at that body without any interruptions. That’s a fish hook in her mouth. Damn, what a terrible way to die.

Spyro: Wait, what’s that next to her? Those are some strategically placed rocks. You can look through those. But rookie, I’m not waiting until the day you wear gloves so take these, and you better wear them!

**Examine Pile of Rocks**

Spyro: Hah, you found a wand in those rocks? Are you trying to roleplay as a Barbie doll or something?

Spyro: Oh right, the victim was a witch, I see some substance on the wand, we’d better send it to madhouse Enno.

**Ask Cloris Crypt about the victim.**

Spyro: Right, so you both are witches then?

Cloris: Quite, I had seen that her demise was soon and that you will be back to ask questions.

Spyro: Oh right, you’re that weirdo witch that can see the future. What's next, the old geezer turns out to be a wendigo?

Cloris: Cease the rudeness, Mr. Perriades. I am not here for a fight. Also, keep an eye out for an oar coming your way.

Spyro: What the hell do you mean by that? Whatever, we’re done with you, oddball.

Cloris: Before you go. I’d recommend going to an old cemetery near here, Ms. Guevarra visited there a lot. I wish you luck, IPS.

Spyro: Should we listen to that batty witch, rookie?

Spyro: Old cemetery? Man, I ain't going there!

Spyro: What? I’m not a pussy! Argh, f\*ck you, rookie. Fine, let’s check this old cemetery out!

**Investigate Old Cemetery**

Spyro: This place reminds me of my frightening ass nightmares as a kid!

Spyro: …I mean, I’m not scared at all, rookie, trust me!

Spyro: I see you’ve already found clues. Do tell us then, smartypants.

Spyro: I see that bag. It has the victim’s initials, you should look inside it for something important to this investigation.

Spyro: Ew, is that a pile of manure!? I’m not taking no for an answer, you did it before so take these gloves right f\*cking now and search the manure.

**Examine Pile of Manure**

Spyro: Good thing you are wearing gloves now. Do you even care about hygiene?

Spyro: Huh, there was a letter in there?

Spyro: Alright I have my gloves on, screw it, just give me the thing.

Spyro: The letter reads: “Please take this seriously, your kind along with other supernatural beings are in danger you need to st..” And that’s where it ends.

Spyro: I don’t think we can find the rest of this writing!

Spyro: Wait.. what’s that thing attached to the letter that’s beeping?

*BOOM!*

Spyro: What the f\*ck! It exploded!

Agent W: STOP RIGHT THERE!

Spyro: You again!?

Agent W: Ah, the IPS again? I wonder why we keep bumping into each other.

Spyro: I also wonder why you love explosions so much. At this point you're like the cheap knockoff version of Michael Bay!

Spyro: Whatever, let’s talk after I clean myself up.

**Speak to Agent W of why she’s here.**

Spyro: Now, why’re you here? Spying on someone again?

Agent W: Why wouldn’t I be here? I’m here to protect the witches around here, though they aren’t cooperating with the certain dangers going on right now.

Spyro: Funny you say that with a certain witch that’s dead..

Agent W: Dead? Why didn’t I know about it before you? Who is the witch that has died?

Spyro: A certain Flordeliza Guevarra.

Agent W: Can’t say she was on my list of trying to warn, but I’ll tell you if I find out any more information later.

Spyro: Well, you better stick around. We may need to speak to you again. And stop with the explosions, otherwise I might lose an arm!

**Examine Victim’s Bag**

Spyro: Huh, there’s a locket in there, there’s the victim and also another woman, let’s see who it is in the database.

**Examine Woman on Locket**

Spyro: Huh, the woman’s name is a certain Felizia Calumpang, and she’s a heiress.

Spyro: Well, let’s see who she was to the victim!

**Ask Felizia who she was to the victim**

Felizia: Oh no, the police are here. Shall I give you whiskey to not arrest me for anything?

Spyro: No, Miss Calumpang, you're not in trouble. We are investigating the murder of Flordeliza Guevarra. We found her locket with your picture, you knew each other?

Felizia: Flordeliza is dead? Who would do such a thing!

Felizia: I can’t say we were close, we knew of each other’s existence, especially during childhood.

Felizia: It's ironic, really. Me, the rich girl born to be a noble, hanging out with a poor girl living a basic life. This sounds like a soap opera, don't you think?

Felizia: Is that all, detectives? I have to go back to my mansion. I'm sweating right now, and I would like for my servants to give me the best bath ever in my private jacuzzi!

Spyro: Keep relaxing, then. Just don't get anywhere far away, we may need you again!

**Analyze Victim’s Wand**

Spyro: You'd better have figured out what that substance is, Enno. Otherwise I”ll-

Enno: No need to shout, I have.

Spyro: Wow, for once you aren’t f\*cking useless.

Enno: A thank you would’ve worked well, man. Anyway, the substance is painkillers.

Spyro: Well I have to respect your hustle for once, Professor Wackydanger! Hey, that name has a great ring to it!

Enno: Does it though?

Spyro: Yeah, anyway the killer will be in pain when we arr-

Percy the Platypus: Grrrrr…

Spyro: Erm.. why is your pet growling at me…

Enno: I think you might’ve disturbed him.. You probably should run…He's not as innocent as you think…

Spyro: The last thing I want is getting mauled by a platypus! Wackydanger, keep your pet in line!

**Autopsy Victim’s Body**

Jennifer: Can you believe the nerve, like come-

Jennifer: Speak of the devil, he's here.

Spyro: You better not have been talking about me, Jennifer! Talking from the back is worse than being front about it!

Alexa: I think you should leave Jennifer. I don't want my morgue to be a fighting ring.

Jennifer: Don’t you dare come near me, Spyro! I’m leaving now. Goodbye.

Spyro: What was that about? That nerve!

Alexa: Let’s grab the attention of the victim instead of this, anyway as you could tell the victim died by the hook in her mouth.

Spyro: Clearly we don’t need a surgeon to figure that out.

Alexa: Ignoring what you said, I had found bait on the hook, specifically fish bait!

Spyro: How does that help us? Are we seriously gonna put handcuffs on a fish for murder?

Alexa: No, it means that the killer fishes!

Spyro: Well they won’t be able to fish away their problems!

Spyro: Why do I even bother making jokes anymore!

Spyro: Well, it seems that we’ve gotten a good lead with this investigation so far.

Spyro: I don’t trust that Cloris Crypt lady, she just sounds evil and she could easily lie about the future if she wanted t-

*SMACK!*

Spyro: OUCH! What the f\*ck just hit me!

Spyro: An oar..? What the-

Ralph: Oan yer bike pal! This is mah fishin' territory, an you're disturbin' the environment!

Ralph: Dinnae mak' me throw another oar!

Spyro: Ralph Ritchie? What the?!

## Chapter 2

Spyro: You crazy geezer! Did you realize what you just did? That's assault!

Spyro: Plus, what are you even doing here in the Philippines? The last time we saw you, you were all grumpy over a murdered football player in your hometown.

Ralph: None ay yer business! Oan yer bike pal, ah need tae dae somethin' wee important!

Spyro: No, old man, you're not going anywhere. Sit right here, and let us ask you a few questions!

**Question Ralph Ritchie about his arrival in the Philippines.**

Ralph: Be hurry, damnit! Time is tickin' reit noo! Coz of ye, aye hae tae tak' another painkillers for stress!

Spyro: Chill out, why are you so agitated? Did you smoke some pot or something?

Ralph: I didnae do any of dat! Am 'ere for tae fishin' competition. There's an annual contest held 'ere every year, an ah cannae lose it.

Ralph: Ah hae tea row all th' wey fae Scotland tae 'ere in this wee boat. Twas a toalie journey, bit tis worth th' shot.

Spyro: Alright. Have you ever seen any murders around here? We found a dead body belonging to a certain Flordeliza Guevarra…

Ralph: Dinnae be a dunderheid. Ah juist arrived 'ere, sae how should ah ken any murders? Skedaddle aff!

Spyro: Even with you kicking us out, you're still won't get off easily as a suspect, "bawbag". Stay right here since we're investigating this area, including your boat too!

Ralph: "Bade richt this area"? This IS mah fishin' area, ya boggin' bampot! Dinnae state th' obvious!

Spyro: Is it just me or…are we really prone to having a bunch of pain in the asses as suspects?

Spyro: Also one thing, rookie. We got an obvious clue that we must add to that geezer's profile: The fact that he fishes. He's a fisherman for a reason.

**Investigate Fishing Boat**

Spyro: I’m still pissed off at how that batty witch was right!

Spyro: Anyway, why’d you pick up those fishing supplies? You want to become a fisherman? I'd expect you to have a thick Scottish accent later on.

Spyro: Oh right, evidence could be hiding in there, go ahead and search it then!

Spyro: Huh, there’s also that giant locked box! What the hell could be in there? An octopus? Another bomb from our "precious" agent?

Spyro: Well, we’re gonna find out, go ahead and unlock that lock!

**Examine Giant Locked Box**

Spyro: Whoa! What the f\*ck! Why are there human remains in here! Skin and everything!

Spyro: What should we do with this? Are we having Hannibal as a suspect?

Spyro: Wait you’re right, there’s bite marks in these remains! What the f\*ck!? Hannibal really is a suspect!

Spyro: Okay, just go ahead and get some of the DNA from the bite marks to see who our Hannibal is that we’re dealing with.

**Examine Human Remains**

Spyro: Alright, should we send it to Enno? Knowing him, he'd probably turn this into booze.

Spyro: Oh right, we have a microscope. I swear, the rotten stench is making my brain function like an idiot!

**Examine Saliva**

Spyro: Wait, it matched that heiress, Felizia!?

Spyro: Who could have thought the rich gal is a psychopathic maniac. That sounds like my family in general, but at least we don't eat humans for a living.

Spyro: Rookie, let's bust her chops! Don't forget to get armed. I don't want you or myself to end as dinner!

**Confront Felizia Calumpang about her being a cannibal**

Felizia: You are back again, it seems. Nobody can't have enough for Felizia, I guess. Can't blame it when you look gorgeous, anyways.

Spyro: If you're gorgeous then I'm the Pope of Vatican. Cut the crap and admit that you're a filthy cannibal, Ms. Calumpang.

Felizia: I.. eh.. What?

Spyro: Don’t play dumb! We found those human remains with your saliva on the bite marks! What are you, a zombie?

Felizia: Oh…

Felizia: Alright, I’ll stop bluffing then. I’m shocked you didn’t figure out what I truly am, IPS.

Spyro: How do you know who we are? Are you a supernatural creature?!

Felizia: As what you said. I am an aswang! I’ve been disguised here as a human for centuries!

Spyro: Well, does that mean you know about the victim and her murder at all? Seems mighty suspicious for an aswang…

Felizia: How dare you accuse me!? I’ve lived peacefully with humans for centuries, especially now where I have to be hidden with that cult arising!

Spyro: You say peacefully, your victims scream painfully. Don't joke around, what peace did you even do?

Felizia: Hey, they're already dead from the start! If you wish to know how peaceful I am, just look in the mirror. I would've killed you two already if I'm violent simply for talking to me.

Felizia: Yeah sure I slaughtered my family and the doctor that turned me into this creature, but those happen in the past. I only care about a flower that can give me powers.

Spyro: What powers?

Felizia: You can say…something that you wouldn't expect.

Spyro: Yeah, yeah, whatever. You can stop with your edgelordess behavior, no one cares. If you killed Flordeliza for whatever reasons you do, the powers you can achieve is being a model convict. Sounds gorgeous and peaceful, don't you think?

Felizia: I swear, Spyro Perriades from IPS, if I ever see you again, I will rip you into shreds and eat your organs, you mortal imbecile!

**Examine Fishing Supplies**

Spyro: Huh, you’re right! These are painkillers! Never knew fish get sick too.

Spyro: But what is that orange substance on them? Let’s get a sample of that!

**Examine Painkillers**

Spyro: Now that we got a sample, let's send it to Professor Wackydanger!

**Analyze Orange Substance**

Enno (*Whispering*): Hey detective and Spyro. You both might want to be silent while Percy is sleeping, you saw what happened before.

Spyro (*Whispering*): Alright fine, now what did you get from that substance?

Enno (*Whispering*): Well, this substance is actually whiskey, great to see another evidence be recurring. Makes my job easier.

Spyro (*Whispering*): Whiskey again?

Enno (*Whispering*): Yeah, and the killer will be whisked once you arrest them!

Spyro (*Whispering*): Really?

Enno: Oh come on! Aren’t I allowed to make some jokes every now and then?

Percy the Platypus: Grrrr…

Enno: Crap! I woke up Percy! Percy I’m sorry!

Spyro: Well have fun with that Wackydanger. We now know the killer drinks whiskey.

Spyro: You’re right detective, last time we saw Ritchie, the evidence was whiskey and he drank it. Let’s add it to his profile!

Spyro: Rookie, I'm still pissed at the fact you called me a pussy when investigating the cemetery, and you owe me an apology.

Spyro: What? No?! Man, f\*ck you. You know what, let's make a bet then! If I don't wuss out this time, you'll treat me food for an entire day.

Spyro: You up for the challenge, rookie? Let's head back to the cemetery! Hopefully I win the bet this time!

**Investigate Gravestones**

Spyro: I'm starting to think that this is such a terrible idea.

Spyro: You know what, f\*ck that, I got this. Look, I even found evidence! This looks like a faded book. Let’s retrieve the text!

Spyro: And that pile of shrubbery you found looks out of place! Go ahead and search it!

Spyro: Does this mean I win the bet? Hell yeah! Take that, rookie!

**Examine Pile of Shrubbery**

Spyro: Huh, there’s apparently a letter under the shrubbery, let’s read it.

Spyro: It says: “op using your powers so frequently, if you continue to do so, I might have no choice but to take drastic measures otherwise.”

Spyro: But this makes no sense? What the hell even is the word “op”!?

Spyro: Look at the back? Why?

Spyro: Oh for f\*ck sakes- Not this again-

*BOOM!*

Spyro: OKAY THAT'S IT, AGENT WRETCH! SHOW YOURSELF!

Agent W: Why do you always love triggering my explosions so much? Are you this cursed?

Spyro: YES, I'M CURSED BECAUSE OF YOUR EXISTENCE YOU SON OF A-

Spyro: Argh, nevermind! Let me clean myself…FOR THE SECOND F\*CKING TIME, MIND YOU! And we'll talk.

**Ask Agent W about the other half of the letter**

Spyro: Alright, now that I’ve cleaned myself, what did you mean in the letter by “drastic measures”?

Agent W: Well…You know what. I’ll just tell you.

Agent W: Ms. Guevarra was a young witch, and of course she loved using her powers all the time.

Agent W: But this isn’t good! If anything, she was risking her fellow witches in the area to get exposed by the cult!

Spyro: Does that mean you took care of her?

Agent W: I was scheming to, if I was being truthful. My agency gave me permission to, but somebody got to her first. But hey, at least my nails aren’t dirty.

Spyro: Well, I do hope you aren’t lying, and for f\*ck’s sake you better stop the explosions!

**Examine Faded Book**

Spyro: What the hell is this? It’s some kind of history book!

Spyro: Why the hell would you care about history? That's like the worst subject to be taught in school!

Edmark: Oh Cristo, you are a lifesaver! Gracias for helping me find that book! I need it for my lines!

Spyro: Ack! Are you a time traveler who came from the past!? Why are you wearing that strange armor?

Edmark: I took offense to that statement, Senor! This is no ordinary armor, it's the armor of the Spanish conquistador from the late 15th century!

Spyro: Oh no, not history talk- You know what, wise guy, let's just talk for a second.

**Ask Edmark Garcia if he had seen the victim**

Edmark: What do you wish to talk about, Senor? I am glad to teach some history lessons. History is my pasión.

Spyro: Can't be said for me, Mr. Garcia. What brings you here?

Edmark: A group of kind locals invited me to partake in a small reenactment play as a conquistador that landed in the Philippines.

Edmark: It was a grandiose experience I could never forget. Ah, the Philippines is just hermoso! Además, it's also a perfect place to fish!

Spyro: Good thing you got a nice trip, Mr. Garcia. But we wonder one thing, do you happen to know a murder around here? The victim is a local named Flordeliza Guevarra.

Edmark: Buena garcia, a murder?!

Edmark: Tristemente, I have no idea about such affairs. Who would deface this beautiful soil with such a devious act?! May the Senorita that was killed find peace in eternal life.

Spyro: Please stick around, Mr. Garcia. We may need to talk to you again if we find new leads!

Spyro: This case is strange, and I don’t think I like it!

Spyro: Same with that batty witch! I don’t like how she can tell the future!

Spyro: If anything she should be telling us who the-

Ryan: Y’all! You might want to go back to the witch hut!

Spyro: What? Why?

Ryan: Two of your suspects are fighting there!

## Chapter 3

Spyro: What? Who the f\*ck… Nevermind, let’s go before it gets bad, rookie!

*At the witch hut*

Ralph: Whit's wi' ye lavvy heids swarming aroond th' environment? Awa' n bile your head, sae ah can fish fur peace!

Cloris: This is my home, Mister! Now YOU “Shoo”!

Ralph: I’ll gie ye a skelpit lug, ye eejit! Dinnae mak me throw another oar at ye!

Cloris: That will be regrettable for you.

Ralph: Yer asked for it, hen. Noo tak' this!

*\*SMACK!\**

Spyro: ACK! WHY DID THAT HIT ME!?

Ralph: Oops, git th' wrong target…

Cloris: I see you didn’t conform to my warning the first time, Mr. Perriades.

Spyro: Alright, what was the fight about anyway?

Ralph: This nyaff's disturbin' th' ecosystem, whilk affects th' cycle of th' fishes. Cause of that, ah struggle oan catching flounder or bass fur th' contest!

Cloris: Disturbing the ecosystem? Mister, as much as I understand your struggle, this territory is my property.

Ralph: Yer bum's oot the windae! Yer just like that Flordeliza lassie: Nonsensical 'n' annoyin'! Ah am starting tae regret comin' tae this wee country.

Spyro: Alright, stop the whining. Ms. Crypt, please just stay in your hut. You, Mr. Ritchie, we have to speak to you since you complained about the victim when you claimed you never met her. Would you mind elaborating further?

**Speak to Ralph about his complaints to the victim.**

Ralph: Hauld yer horses... Are ye sayin' that th' bampot hen is th' neighbor o' that Flordeliza lassie whose murdered body ye wur talking aboot?

Spyro: You’ll bet your boot. Anyways, you said that the victim was full of nonsense and annoys the living out of you…Why?

Ralph: Ah haven't caught a fish in hours! And then that hen made it disastrous! A wullnae gang muckle intae details, but she gave me wee stress. Am glad that she's deid.

Spyro: I have no clue what you said but I heard dead so you better hope that you didn’t kill Flordeliza, because you'll never get off the hook!

Spyro: Yikes, that was the dumbest fight I ever seen. Not even a cliché soap opera could reach this level of stupidity.

Spyro: You’re right, we might as well check the victim’s hut while we’re here!

**Investigate Victim’s Hut**

Cloris: What do you two think you’re doing in my neighbor’s hut?

Spyro: We’re here to solve the murder you ignorant witch! Let us investigate in peace!

Cloris: Fine, but don’t think you’ll be off the hook soon. I may even curse you, Mr. Perriades!

Spyro: Ohhhh! I’m so scared! Ahhh!

Spyro: Thank god that batty witch is gone, now what have you found?

Spyro: I see you found that box of letters, damn why the hell does the victim get so much mail? You’d think they were a celebrity. But they aren’t celebrities if I don’t know about them.

Spyro: I’m getting side-tracked, you can search through the mail for a crucial clue!

Spyro: There’s also this trophy here, didn’t know witches had the olympics!

Spyro: It says the trophy is for longest flying distance on a broomstick.. Those actually exist? I thought they were myths!

Spyro: Anyway the name is scrawled out.. Why do you think it’s suspicious? This is clearly the victim’s. Why would it be in her house otherwise?

Spyro: Fine, go ahead and figure out what that name is, but don’t come crying to me if your hunch is wrong!

**Examine Trophy**

Spyro: AHA! I was…

Spyro: …Wrong? Son of a b\*tch! Why does the name say Cloris Crypt?

Spyro: I guess this warrants some answers from Miss Crypt! She better not curse me, or she’ll regret it!

**Ask Cloris Crypt about the Trophy being in the victim’s hut**

Cloris: Didn’t I tell you to keep away? I WILL curse you! You’re lucky I’m taking my painkillers right now.

Spyro: Not so fast, Ms. Crypt, why was your trophy in the victim’s hut?

Cloris: My trophy was in Flordeliza’s hut?

Cloris: Hah! I knew it! I knew that louse was a thief!

Spyro: Thief? The victim stole it from you?

Cloris: She’s been stealing my stuff for years, even my whiskey. But I haven’t had proof…until now.

Spyro: Are you sure you hadn’t killed you to prove she’s been stealing from you?

Cloris: That’s a ludicrous belief, I do go fishing once in a while, and I will admit I’m petty, but not THAT petty!

Cloris: Now leave my property! You tested my patience too long, and I have enough of your ferocious manners.

**Examine Box of Mail**

Spyro: Why has that letter piqued your interest, rookie?

Spyro: It damn well looks like a love letter!

Spyro: Ugh.. love. Love is annoying.

Spyro: Anyway let’s read it.

Spyro: I… erm..

Spyro: Either these are in English, or I haven’t seen this, or this letter is in a different language!

Spyro: Whatever, just send it to the tech geek and see if they can translate it.

**Analyze Love Letter**

Ash: Hoy Spyro, Kamusta na?

Spyro: What just came out of your mouth, Ash? Don’t tell me you’re gonna start speaking like Mr. Ritchie!

Ash: Damn, you're not great at recognizing languages.

Spyro: Tell me something I don’t know, Sherlock, now what language was it?

Ash: Tagalog! One of the official languages in the Philippines!

Spyro: What an unusual language. Now what does the letter say?

Ash: Well it’s a love letter, that’s for sure, but the important part is that Edmark Garcia is the person who wrote it.

Spyro: The history buff? Huh, I wonder how he fell for the victim: a witch.

Spyro: Anyway, we should speak to Edmark about this!

**Ask Edmark about the love letter to the victim**

Spyro: Hey history geek, didn’t know you had a thing for the victim.

Edmark: Oh, you found that…

Edmark: Well, I won’t refute it, but I had fallen for Senorita Guevarra!

Edmark: The first time I landed here from my home España, she was the first woman I saw, and I immediately was smitten by her beauty.

Edmark: We exchanged a few words and a shot of whiskey. She spurred a lot of interest in my hometown and its ancestral history. I love women who cherish history, detectives. This is like a match made in heaven!

Spyro: Well.. was it?

Edmark: Nope! It was all the stress going to me like I was in an actual conflict, I needed a lot of painkillers because of it!

Edmark: I even attempted other ways, verás, like most of her excuses was because she needed to roam far, so I thought maybe we could go fishing in the lake right outside of her hut, but she still declined!

Spyro: Well I do hope her rejecting your advances was the only thing that happened, don’t be like the person we arrested before in Scotland!

Spyro: God, this investigation is such a mess.

Spyro: I’m still wondering when I'll get hit with another oar, or who will yell at me next!

Tashard: Why haven’t you both left yet?

Spyro: Huh? What do you mean, old timey?

Tashard: Why aren’t you back at the boat crime scene?

Spyro: Why do you say that? Do you want us to join the competition or something?

Tashard: Because! It’s about to hit high tide and chances are that’s gonna wash away evidence!

Spyro: Ah, crap! We better get there quick, rookie!

**Investigate Tides**

Spyro: Quick! Did anything get washed away?

Spyro: Thank f\*ck! You’re right! Those broken items look like the shape of the victim’s wand!

Spyro: Go ahead and fix it!

Spyro: Wait, why did you check the water?

Spyro: Did you seriously just fish out that old fishing rod? How is that a clue?

Spyro: Wait a minute! You’re right! It’s very clearly missing the specific part of the hook! This must be the killer’s fishing rod!

Spyro: There’s a strange substance on it, go ahead and collect a sample!

Spyro: This killer has no chance of escaping now!

**Examine Fishing Rod**

Spyro: Now that you’ve gotten that creamy substance from the rod, let us get it to Wackydanger!

**Analyze Creamy Substance**

Enno: Hey detective! Do you notice anything different about me?

Spyro: Er no, all I see is a mad scientist in front of me.

Enno: Oh.. I guess it didn’t work..

Spyro: What didn’t work? This better be f\*cking related to the substance.

Enno: It is, It is! Chill man, the substance made me curious to make my own!

Spyro: And what is the substance, Einstein?

Enno: It’s skin cream! Specifically cream for moles!

Spyro: Our killer has a mole? Well they’re the mole for killing the victim!

**Examine Broken Wand**

Spyro: Now that you’ve fixed this wand, let’s send it to Enno considering the blood that’s on it!

**Analyze Wand**

Ryan: Well yeah, that’s another fact about witches!

Enno: They seem so diverse now that you tell me so.

Ryan: Man, you're very chill for a crazy guy, Enno. I think I misjudged you a lot.

Spyro: Ahem…

Enno: Oh right.. Sorry, you want the results for the blood I assume?

Spyro: Yeah, but why the hell is Ryan still here?

Ryan: Well I can help in this case actually, I wanted to give a little background information to what happened here!

Spyro: For f\*ck’s sake! Here we go again…

Ryan: The blood for a second confused me, but then I realized the victim must’ve attacked her killer!

Ryan: Once the killer managed to get the hook in the victim’s mouth, the victim did all they could as a witch and attacked them with her wand.

Spyro: Well thanks for the intel, how does that help us? None of our suspects had any groundbreaking injuries!

Ryan: Well one thing about the spell that the victim did is that the killer would get those injuries, but they’d only last a few seconds due to how weak the victim’s magic was from the hook nearly killing her as she attacked.

Spyro: And how is this evidence exactly?

Enno: And this is where my speciality comes it, I had matched the blood, but the witch’s spell contaminated the blood type!

Spyro: Great, we’re back at square one again!

Enno: Not so fast, I never said it wasn’t completely contaminated, I could clearly see that the killer’s eyes are brown!

Spyro: The killer’s eyes are brown! Our brown-eyed killer will be doomed once we arrest them!

Spyro: We have enough evidence to arrest the witch’s killer! Let’s do this!

**Take care of the killer now!**

Spyro: Game's up, old man. You killed the wi- I mean Flordeliza Guevarra.

Ralph: Oan yer bike pal! Aye ain't done nothin' are ye mad?

Spyro: Not exactly sure what you're saying but we have all the proof we need.

Ralph: Aye dinnae ken nothin' 'bout dat.

Spyro: *stares angrily at Ralph*

Ralph: Aight, Aye confess! But I am no murderer pal. Dat witch attacked meh wit 'er bloody stick dat she was wavin' around! Self defense makes meh not a murderer, eh?

Spyro: You know what, just come with us. I already have a lot on my mind.

Ralph: O, Aye got a cream for dat!

Spyro: Well, I feel like that killer was too painfully obvious, why didn’t we just arrest him on the spot!?

Tashard: Well, we would still need evidence you know.

Spyro: F\*ck’s sake! Not another lecture, old man!

Tashard: Ignoring what you said. We still need more information on Ralph’s motive. We still have work to do, rookie!

Spyro: Geezer, I am convinced that you're just a workaholic nutcase.

Tashard: And I'm convinced you're just lazy at your job and relied on the detective all the time.

Spyro: Argh, screw you…rookie, let's continue the work!