Shan

One of the members of Rob Squad. Shan has lived a life thousands of years in the making, with a backstory so complicated and autistic that no one, least of all him, can comprehend it. He and Rob have a history together, and they were reunited by The Great War. Though his body is young and supple, his soul is that of a nameless being that has wandered the earth for thousands of years before entering Shan's body. A known lameso nerd and occasional tiny girl, Shan is probably the most bizarre member of Rob Squad, at least in his origins.

### Backstory

In the shittiest, blackest, poorest region of Nigeria was born a tiny babby. This babby was given no name, for it was considered an abomination for reasons it could not know. This babby grew up in Nigeria, laughing and playing, all the while family and friends dying of starvation around him. Deemed severely autistic at a young age, he was designated as a candidate for great shaman powers, which he learned throughout his young babby life. When he was a young man, he moved to Cambodia, where his mother originated from. He instantly fell in love with the terrible living conditions, rampant poverty, and fine dog-based cuisine. He stayed there for five thousand years, honing his mind and body to be super swole. Until, one day, a tragedy occurred. He was kidnapped by white people from Europe, and was raised there as a gentleman for another twelve million years. Finally, he escaped, and moved to Pakistan. He was taken in by a drug lord and his family, and the six and a half hundred years he spent there were the happiest of his life. However, he was kidnapped again by the same European assholes, who kept him until they all died of STD's. During this time, due to the repeated dragon-dildo based beatings, he uncovered his stand to save him from his adversity...it didn't work. The dildos were too strong. Finally free from his captors, the now fully grown man wandered the earth to seek his purpose. He uncovered a shocking truth: he was the son of Dwayne Johnson and a Sega Dreamcast. Johnson, it was discovered, had become so hyped about Blue Stinger that he mated with the console, and then sent his shit kid to Nigeria to be tutored in ancient black person magics. The man, discovering this, was confused and aroused. He then decided, to honor his heritage, that he would play Soulcalibur until he mastered it completely. He was so good, that he was asked by Japan via a letter scrawled on the back of a crackhead in ketchup to participate in the annual Soulcalibur Japanese open. He traveled there, at the time unaware of the fate to befall him. When he arrived, he was attacked by a wave of filthy nerds, which he was able to dispatch. However, as he went deeper, he found that all of the anime in Japan had prepared for his visit. He was attacked relentlessly, without mercy, until he finally fell at the filthy hands of Neon Genesis Evangelion. When he died, he used ancient black people magic to send his soul to a random vessel on the earth. It finally placed itself inside a random faggot, who was called Shan. Shan's mind merged with the nameless man's, and he gained his stand, as well as a new persona. Shan eventually crossed paths with Rob, and they bonded over both being worthless fucking nerds. Later, Shan participated in The Great War, and the rest is truly history. Stupid, stupid history.

### Abilities

Shan is a frail, pasty white piece of shit with no friends, so he leaves the front-line battling to the real men. He hangs back and lets his stand, "nothing's gonna stop me now"(NGSMN), and his persona, Brodin(the douchiest of the Norse Gods)do the battling. He acts as a supporter and healer, with his cybernetics focusing on healing nanomachines, energy shields, and other such nonsense. His stand uses light energy, absorbing it to power itself, and expending it for attacks. It has seven abilities, each corresponding to a color of the rainbow...cuz Shan's a faggot, you see. Very subtle. They are:

-Red: Energy blade extending from NGSMN's hand. Also houses Shan's meter for roman cancels and other such purposes.

-Orange: Short-range burst of energy.

-Yellow: Concentrated long-range shot.

-Green: Healing beam.

-Blue: Bomb-like cluster of energy that explodes on contact.

-Indigo: Energy shield. More powerful than Shan's shields from his cybernetics, but cannot be maintained for long due to it expending light energy.

-Violet: Blinding ray of light. Can be used to blind foes, sometimes permanently.

His Persona, Brodin, manipulates wind, and can buff allies with various bonuses. It is somewhat agile, and exells in magical attacks, but is too frail to risk an aggressive strategy. His based form surrounds him with a massive maelstrom of wind and multicolored light, which empowers and regenerates allies, and himself, as well as discharging powerful projectiles. His ultimate ability is called Forrow yowa dureamuso, which roughly translates to "follow your dreams." This draws upon the infinite power of flamboyance, and creates a massive rainbow, which Shan can then travel upon and manipulate as he wishes. By striking the sassiest, most spine-destroying pose possible, Shan releases the energy in a massive explosion, which damages foes and mends the wounds of friends, all the while instilling a sense of euphoria. It's pretty goddam hype, if I do say so myself.

### Role in Rob Squad

Shan is probably the least cool person in all of Rob Squad...and that's saying something. He and Rob go back a long way, and he also knows Lurpa quite well. As the designated healer, support abilities mostly keep him busy in battles, though he has had a few notable one-on-one's with some Bad Boys. Without a thorough enough knowledge of anime to be a weeb and with too much anime knowledge to be a cool guy, Shan is stuck in the middle, with only Myspace there for him to vent his frustrations.

### Quotes

*"To be fair tho..."*

*"Kill yourself."*

*"By the by..."*

### Trivia

-Shan doesn't lift. This is obvious. Moving on.

-Shan has attempted to kill himself 523 times. Yes, he even sucks dick at suicide.