Big Brother 5/Week 5

-Before HOH-
So Nathan got evicted, praise the lord jesus christ, BUT on his way out he spilled some T-E-A, which really exposed a few things. Firstly, Jake being extremely close to him, which makes me think he would've evicted Erin in a tie situation aka Jake isn't even fucking trustworthy and the fact that he snatched HOH after Hannah won was most likely intentional too. In other words, Jake is done and once it makes sense to strike at him, I will.
Trent has once again unnecessarily lied, saying he wasn't campaigning for Nathan to stay and then ended up as one of the votes to evict Erin, so honestly I couldn't hold myself back anymore and called his whack ass out in public, if you lie about this many things and continously deny in private, I see no other solution for you. This ended up resulting in a Trent vs. Hannah showdown as well, which made me cackle skadgjsdg
A side note about that argument, Trent called me rude and then proceeded to tell me to shut up during the course of the argument, as he would say himself, NOT CUTE TRENT.
It annoys me that Trent is lying left and right and thinking it's actually working in his favor, but not with me, I'm gonna make sure that he gets evicted under my HOH and there's no backing down lmao..
- During/After but mostly during HOH -
I'm going to save the deets on the competition, because it really annoyed the hell out of me and I felt like hardly anyone was really trying besides me, so I stayed up and exhausted myself for nothing, but WHO CARES BECAUSE I'M NOW HOH MOTHERFUCKERS.
Anyways, during the course of the competition, there were two particularly interesting conversations, that I've had.
First of all, I realized that Natalie is someone that me, as well as other allies of mine actually quite get along with and since she was involved in that drama and this is a CLEAR numbers game, I saw no other way but to make it clear to her, that I had grown interest in working with her, so as I took the lead in the HOH I messaged her and we talked a little about the game, I expressed my interest in working with her (we ended up having like a 3 hour Messenger Call about her life LMAO) and I think that I may have done a decent job.
I think that Garbage is pretty much done, Jake has proven to be untrustworthy, Alietta/Hannah don't trust Erin for some reason (I like her and I want to keep working with her) and there are better relationships formed with people like Grant & Natalie, whom I hope to form something official with eventually.
The other interesting conversation was, big surprise, the big man Trenton himself, not to mention after I answered a few questions right and took the lead in the challenge - which could have just been a funny coincidence and he just wasn't around before - but yeah, he slipped in my PMs to start his bullshit artist act, telling me everything that I may have been interested in hearing (and then I started to spew some bullshit to him, to make him think that I am actually somewhat interested aka talk fake shit about the old Garbage) and once he seemed to be pleased with the result, he stopped talking again. Big surprise. He must think that he once again weaseled his way out of the hot waters this week, but nah, there is absolutely no way, that I'm gonna let this opportunity pass by without attempting to take a strike at Trent, not today.
Nomination wise, it's 99% gonna be Emma/Domonique, with the 1% being my openness to other suggestions or the possibility, that people can fuck up and go crazy mad, but at this stage neither of them have had substantial game conversations with me and I would hope that they'd understand why they got nominated. None of them are my target, but there's still a possibility they could come for me as a result so idk kjagsdg, I'm willing to take the risk anyway, because this is Big Brother for fucks sake, and playing it safe gets you nowhere except late jury or a jury goat lmao

You know there are moments where you ask yourself if it was really worth doing something, if it was really worth just doing something so personally inappropriate without thinking over it multiple times, I don't even know if it's gonna be worth it going out of this game win or lose, knowing that I hurt someone as much as I hurt Jake, like it sincerely just sucks and I can say this as much as I want, I don't think that it's gonna get fixed just like that.. smh like I'm probably just a really shitty human being when it comes to these kinda games...
Just based on that statement alone, the only word I can find for NOT asking Jake about what he did, for NOT backing up Garbage and making me think he was gonna slide me eventually in an attempt to play both sides, to NOT make him assure me that we were good is plain and simple: S-T-U-P-I-D-I-T-Y (english lesson included you are welcome) like god there is so much REGRET looking back, why the fuck would I not do these things out of respect for someone I really do like, it's really just shitty and I would hate myself if I watched me right now, what the fuck is wrong with me