Episode 13 - Klaus

**“***If I'm not out of here by Christmas...I'll be dead.***”**
— **Klaus****, Season 1, Episode 13**

Episode artwork by Anders Pedersen

## Summary

*The following is a summary written for this wiki. It only hits the major points of the episode and, as such, should not be used as a substitute for listening to the episode as intended by the creators.*
### Main Story

Klaus contacts The Amelia Project, needing to disappear from the North Pole, and claiming that if he isn't out of there by Christmas he will be dead.

After the theme, The Interviewer welcomes Klaus into a caravan. Petteri, AKA Rudolph, enters with him. The Interviewer gets excited that he flew there on a sleigh, but Klaus corrects him and says he drove in a Volvo. He also asks The Interviewer to switch off the Christmas music, having grown sick of it. He refuses the gingerbread and brandy for the same reason.

He tells The Interviewer that he is actually a fake, and only plays Santa at the behest of his husband Alvar, who loves money and started a business of a Santa Claus Village. The Interviewer is delighted by the prospect of gift shopping, but Klaus is despairing since if he doesn't return to the grotto before Christmas, Alvar will kill him. He has rebelled by hitting a mother who complained because of her child screaming about not getting a real unicorn as a present. Since there is a camera in the grotto, the video started trending on the internet. Visitors are starting to cancel their visits, so Alvar wants him to apologise through the same camera. Klaus doesn't want to go back since he wants to be done with all of it.

Klaus wants his death to be dramatic and take down the village with him, so The Interviewer proposes they pretend he received a letter from a child that was laced with a poison, and Klaus will fall ill on camera before racing off on Rudolph. They will fall through the ice of a frozen lake and be assumed dead. Klaus, to The Interviewer's confusion, wants to leave his husband a gift to remember him by of an engraved rifle. Klaus will reappear as a thief operating similarly to Robin Hood. He also wants to take Petteri with him, with Kozlowski performing plastic surgery so he looks like a horse.

### Epilogue

Joey chokes on a coin that was in his piece of pudding, to everyone's alarm. After he is save, The Interviewer tells him it is tradition, and Joey is unimpressed by this and declares that next time they will have an Italian speciality.

## Quotes

**“***I'm not just some supermarket Santa. I'm the supermarket Santa.***”**
— **Klaus**

## Cast and Characters

* The Interviewer played by Alan Burgon
* Alvina Wright played by Julia C. Thorne
* Answerphone voiced by Julia Morizawa
* Klaus played by Joshua Manning
* Joey played by Gianluca Iumiento
* Salvatore played by Ravdeep Singh Bajwa
* Alvar is mentioned

## Credits

This episode features Alan Burgon as The Interviewer, Joshua Manning as Klaus, Julia C. Thorne as Alvina, Gianluca Iumento as Joey and Ravdeep Singh Bajwa as Salvatore. Additional voice work by Liv Marie Skaare Baden. Written and edited by Øystein U. Brager, story editing by Philip Thorne, directed by Philip Thorne and Øystein U. Brager, music and sound design by Fredrik Baden. Recorded at Battlebird Productions with the assistance of Hedley Knights. Thanks to Stig Krogstad for script consultancy, and A. P. Quach and Daniel Kibblesmith for inspiration.