Silent NIght

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## Synopsis

At Prehistoric Park on the day before Christmas Eve, Drew, returning from a Novum conference, walks down the halls of the staff offices, decked with Christmas lights and finds Nikolai adjusting the star on the Christmas tree. The two explain that most of the staff are staying at the park; for some, it's too expensive to travel home, whilst for others, the park is where all their friends are.

In the park bar, Jack, Will and Yolanda are enjoying a lock-in, indulging in some high-quality booze left over from the staff party. A knock on the door sends them into a panic as they think Nikolai has found them out, but when Jack answers it, he is shocked to find a steppe bear cub in one of the booze crates on the doorstep. Concluding that he came through a time lapse and knowing they cannot leave him unattended, but unable to inform Nikolai since Nikolai will find out about the lock-in, the trio elect to hide him in one of their rooms until the next day. However, they turn round to find the cub has crawled into in Nikolai's office! Finding the cub (who Jack names Koda) in the office, Nikolai comes sauntering down the hall, singing a Christmas song from an album Jack gave him. The trio bluff that they've been doing a final security check before clocking off and he lets them go on their way, but unfortunately, Yolanda has hidden Koda in Nikolai's office... just as Nikolai's about to go in. Yolanda panics and locks the door, but in the confusion, she loses the key, trapping them inside.

Eventually using Nikolai's keycard to unlock the door and heading outside, they realize Koda has gone. They follow him, only to realise that he has made his way to the Dimetrodon paddock! Climbing in to rescue him, they end up cornered by Rommel; fortunately, Kyle manages to get them out in time. Stuffing Koda in Will's bag, they give the excuse that they were checking up on the Dimetrodon; when hearing Koda's groans, Jack claims that it's just Will's ringtone, much to Kyle's confusion. Out of time, Will and Yolanda leave Koda with Jack, who decides to hide Koda in a box in his wardrobe. However, hearing Koda's cries, Jack sighs and takes the little cub to bed with him...

Jack awakes with a start the next morning to find Koda gone. Running into the vet offices, Linda reveals that Yolanda, having an attack of conscience, told Linda about the cub. Gesturing to a playpen in the nursery in which the little cub is now safely contained, Linda explains that she snuck in and took Koda to the vet offices. In turn, Jack explains that he ended up sleeping on a beanbag chair to give Koda more room. Jack laughs at the image.

## Quotes

"Loneliness has been linked to irritability, erratic conduct, chronic moping and extreme sarcasm."

"God, imagine if anyone started exhibiting **those** behaviors..."

—**Nikolai** and **Drew**
"I love it so much it's making me sad."

—**Jack** on fancy booze
"He was crawling around in one of the crates."

"Which means he was **sent** here. But **why?** What are **we** supposed to do with him?"

"It's a message from God. He's telling us to put him back in the crate until someone more responsible comes along."

—**Jack** and **Yolanda**
"What's going on here? You're being all stiff, awkward and humorless. I approve."

—**Nikolai** on Jack's poker face
*(Yolanda has just locked Nikolai's office and lost the key, trapping them and Koda.)*

**Will: "WHAT THE HELL?!"**

**Jack:** "Are we sure **I** didn't just do that? Because that's the type of thing I would do."

**Yolanda:** "He was panicking! He made **me** panic!"

**Will:** "You've locked us in!"

## Notes

### Continuity notes

* Drew has been away on "Novum business", due to the fallout from that "Lance thing", a reference to Lance Montgomery and the story arc that dominated which involved him stealing both alive and dead animals for secret experiments.
* Jack mutters that they are responsible for "everything that's happened in the last few years".
* Jack refers to from, first mentioned in
* Nikolai's love of music was first revealed in Alien Empire. Jack has been getting on his good side by supplying him with tunes.
* Yolanda claims that she, Jack and Will are checking for "mouth diseases" in the Dimetrodon; this is most definitely a reference to stegosaur pox, the plot-triggering disease from the first story arc in *Park Life*.

### Real-life references

* We don't need to point out that the title comes from the Christmas carol of the same name, but we're doin' it anyway.
* We also don't need to point out that Koda is named after the bear cub from Disney's *Brother Bear*
* Jack, Will and Yolanda discovering Koda on the doorstep of the park bar is a PP version of the classic story of finding a baby on your doorstep at Christmas.
* Nikolai sings I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day.
* Jack states their attempt to hide Koda was about as convincing as "a giraffe wearing dark sunglasses trying to get into a polar bears only golf club" is inspired by the Blackadder Goes Forth episode "Major Star" in which the titular character says the same thing of "Bob Pankhurst's" less than convincing disguise.

### Errors

* The particulars of Jack, Will and Yolanda's plan sound a little dodgy. Their plan was to hide Koda in one of their rooms and tell Nikolai about him the next morning, in order to prevent him finding out about the lock-in. However, they would also have to explain why they did not take him to the vet offices in the first place and why they hid an unquarantined animal in their rooms... eventually leading to Nikolai finding out about the lock-in. Of course, they were royally sozzled when they came up with the plan, so that's kind of justified.