Eleanor Benson VI

**Eleanor Obama Benson VI** (born *Jeanine Chadwick Obama*) is a Kektuncian Politician, Actress, and Restroom Designer who is currently serving as Representative of Kektuncy's 5th Congressional District since 2019. Before going into politics, she starred in several movies, almost all of which were considered "offensive and horrible" by critics. Since becoming a representative, she has gotten into all types of tomfoolery and skullduggery, such as attempting to destroy the state of Tennessee and numerous attempts to burn the Constitution of Kektuncy.

### Relatives

Eleanor Benson V (Adoptive Mother)Barack Harold Obama (Biological Father)

## Early Life

Eleanor was born on August 18, 1970 in a horse stable in Red Cloud, Nebraska. She was almost immediately abandoned by her parents, Barack Harold Obama and an unknown mother, and they left her in front of a Fire Station. She was found early the next morning by Eleanor Benson V, who named the child Eleanor Benson VI, and Eleanor V brought back Eleanor VI to her home in Spink, South Dakota, 10 miles outside of New Dubuque. Eleanor V, who had butter hands syndrome, continuously dropped Eleanor VI. This is most likely what caused Eleanor VI's descent into Madness. On January 3, 1976, Eleanor was hit by a fire engine after she burned down a Taco Bell who kicked her out for trying to use an expired coupon to buy a chalupa. The impact broke every bone in her body, and accelerated the decline of her mental state. She failed to pass 8th grade, and dropped out of school to become a Restroom Designer in Rebabone.

## Benson Restroom Design (1982-1985)

Benson founded her Restroom design company in late 1982. She received a large loan from Cough Man, who said that she "Had potential". However, in 1993, it was found out that Benson bribed Cough Man with heroin in exchange for a loan. After Benson tried to remodel a bathroom in the Kektuncy State Candle Factory (which resulted in the bathroom collapsing into the factory below) in 1983, her restroom design license was revoked. However, her company only went bankrupt in 1985, due to the large loan that cough man gave her.

## McLendon-Chisolm Incident (1987)

On September 8, 1987, Eleanor visited a Propane Shop in the city of McLendon-Chisolm, Texas. Eleanor, who had been on an LSD trip for almost 6 hours at that point, believed the canisters of Propane were Nitrous Oxide, and started trying to ingest the Propane. The manager of the shop saw Eleanor consuming propane canisters, and started screaming at her. Eleanor, startled by this, fell over and tripped into a stack of Propane canisters, causing them to fall over. This caused all of the propane tanks to violently explode, destroying the Propane shop and several other buildings. As a result, 8 people were killed and over 50 people were injured. Eleanor was launched over 20 meters into the sky by the blast, and landed in a nearby barn. She sustained major injuries, and remained in the hospital for almost 8 months.

## Acting Career (1988-2017, 2022-)

### Films

Eleanor starred in her first major motion picture, "*Weekdays at Richards",* a Weekends at Bernie's ripoff, in 1988. The film was universally disliked, with it receiving a -2% on Rotten Janleys. Critics called it "extremely offensive to all races" and "the unfunniest thing they had ever seen". Eleanor, seeing that her movie was not doing well, launched a Dodo attack on Rotten Janleys, causing the site to go down for almost 4 days. Eleanor then went into hiding until 1992, when she released her next film, "New Mexico". The film was simply a picture of New Mexico for almost 2 hours. Since there was essentially no content, it received generally favorable reviews, receiving almost 23% on Rotten Janleys, and is still Eleanor's highest rated movie. After she released New Mexico, she continued to make movies that were critically panned by reviewers, and several more Dodo attacks were launched against the site. The movie that ended her film career was "I ain't down with your syndrome" in 2015, which was almost 2 hours of Eleanor violently beating children with mental illnesses. Incredibly, Eleanor faced no criminal charges for this, with the Rockcastle County Sherriff calling her "A Goofy Rapscallion". Almost a week after the movie was released, a man named Leonard Mooneyham burned down Eleanor's Mansion in Northern Rebabone. Eleanor reacted to this by exploding a Dirty Bomb in Mooneyham's Kitchen. 2 years later, Eleanor released a statement saying that she was done making films.

### TV Shows

Throughout her life, Eleanor has starred in 3 TV shows, all of which have failed and/or been cancelled. All 3 have also received inconceivably abysmal reviews, which has greatly angered Eleanor.

#### The Reduced Fat Chronicles (1989-1990)

Eleanor's first TV show was a cooking program, named the "Reduced Fat Chronicles with Eleanor Benson". The show premiered on NBC on December 27, 1989, and was immediately met with abysmal reviews from critics. The pilot episode didn't actually contain any cooking, but instead 30 minutes of incoherent rambling over a picture of a deep fried turkey. Critics berated Eleanor for the heavy use of racial slurs, drug references, and sensitive subject matter, like when Eleanor went into great detail about a moose she stabbed in Saskatchewan the previous week. Somehow, a second episode aired on January 10 of 1990, but the show was cancelled and taken off the air in the middle of the episode. Eleanor responded by making the movie "NBC can suck both of my asscheeks simultaneously", which was likewise met with horrific reviews. Eleanor was permanently banned from airing shows on NBC and ABC, and she didn't make a new show until 9 years later.

#### The Benson Show! (1999-2010)

In December 1998, Eleanor created a pilot for her new sitcom-style show, named "The Benson Show!". Eleanor originally hoped to air this show on HBO, but due to The Sopranos being picked up at the same time, she turned to CBS, who reluctantly allowed the pilot to air in early 1999. The pilot mainly consisted of elements directly stolen from The Cosby Show, as well as Eleanor ranting about how "those damn gays" were "ruining America", and other such far-right political ramblings. The pilot also contained 5 minute long segment that was simply an advertisement for Eleanor's favorite brand of cigarettes. This pilot was, once again, a complete failure, with network officials from CBS publicly apologizing after the pilot had finished airing. Then, every major TV network in the US banned Eleanor from ever airing any of her shows on their network. Eleanor, desperate, turned to her only option, Rebabone Public Access TV. The show continued to air on RPA until September 2002, when the station was defunded and forced to shut down. Enraged, Eleanor drove her Subaru Brat through the lobby of the Rebabone City Hall, nearly hitting a child, and stole a kitten. Due to RPA's shutdown, The Benson Show went on a year-long hiatus. Then, sometime in January 2004, Eleanor decided to start her own network, the *Benson Television Network (BTN),* exclusively for airing The Benson Show. The show continued airing in March 2004. The show continued to air normally until 2007, when Cthulhu Fernandez II, the son of oil tycoon and Indiana Governor Cthulhu Fernandez, became enraged after finding out the show was just stealing jokes from the Cosby Show at this point and demolished the BTN's broadcast tower in Aftonvale, a Rebabone Suburb. Upon learning of this, Eleanor reportedly went into a rage, destroying the BTN's studio and vowing to "murder the liberal prick" who destroyed the tower.

## "Marriage" (1993-1993)

In June of 1993, Eleanor met J (believed to be short for **Jayquanda McFosterham-Arbuckle**) at a Popeye's restaurant in Oxwood Valley, South Dakota. She was heard saying "Heyy shawty you looking fine ;))" as she sprinted to J. They talked about how Dogecoin was completely useless and had little monetary value, and J reportedly gave Eleanor his number. Over the next 8 days, Eleanor called J over 80 times, demanding to meet up at a Local Nuclear Power Plant and "play yahtzee with a twist ;)". J finally gave in to the pressure on the 9th day, and they met up at the power plant. Security camera footage shows Eleanor demanding J to come with her to the control room and "Start the revolution". When J refused, Eleanor hit him in the face with her frying pan, and left him for dead in the plant's Spent fuel pool. J survived, however, and was seen trying to escape the plant. Eleanor caught up with J, however, and she shoved a potato down his throat, killing him. The relationship lasted 10 days, from June 12-22. Contrary to popular belief, Eleanor was never married to J, but the tabloid magazine "Totally not Fake News Magazine" reported that the relationship was a marriage, and people started believing this lie. Since the incident occurred, Eleanor has never been in another relationship and she came out as Aromantic in 2022.

## Political Career (2018-)

In June 2018, Eleanor stated that she would be running for Representative of Kektuncy's 5th District in the upcoming elections. Her platform consisted of 3 main issues: Manifesting Kektuncy's destiny by invading Tennessee, destroying Kektuncy's Constitution, and legalizing CBT and penis spaghetti. Her opponent, former Virginia man Dick Richards, attempted to hide his numerous mental illnesses and tried to look sane as opposed to Eleanor, and it actually seemed like he would win. However, on October 21, 2018, Dick had an "incident" on live TV, where he attempted to exorcise himself and strangle a child. As a result of this, his approval rating dipped to a record-breaking 3 and a half percent. This gave Eleanor a major advantage, and she won the Election on November 6, and she assumed office in January. Immediately after she assumed office, she attempted to convince the Satan of Kektuncy to launch nuclear weapons into the city of Bismarck, North Dakota. The current Satan rejected her request, however. She continued her term with little tomfoolery until February 4th, 2019, when she ordered the Kektuncy National Guard to invade Tennessee. The invasion started on the 5th, and lasted only 12 minutes, when the Kektuncian forces ran away after Tennessee's Militia revealed that they did, in fact, have guns (Eleanor refused to give the military forces guns as she stated it "would not be a tax write off."). Eleanor was outraged by this, and she discharged all the national guard troops who participated in the Invasion. Another incident occurred during her term when Mt. Fucklin in East Kektuncy erupted later in 2019, spreading ash all over the Rebabone Metro. Eleanor refused to send aid to affected areas, with her reason being "Oh my god, y'all need to fucking die.". One more notable incident happened on February 19, 2021, when numerous Penis riots occurred in the Cough Man Factory District of Rebabone, sparked by the **"JayTwerkie"** event, wherein Mark Jambory was seen twerking on WFUK-TV, Rebabone's largest news source. Hundreds of thousands of citizens rioted for almost 2 weeks. Eleanor tried numerous times to stop the riots (mostly by bombing the area), but was not successful in fully stopping them. The riots only stopped when Dick Richard's son, Dickie Dickson, twerked in the city square, as a show of peace and unity. Furious that she didn't get fame, Eleanor shot Dickie in Nginguambi national forest, and forced all history books documenting the event to be rewritten to portray Eleanor as the hero who stopped the riots. She was re-elected in 2022.

### Belly Inflation

Similarly to Cough Man, Eleanor has a burning hatred of the official religion of the State of Kektuncy, Belly Inflation, and it is thought that her hatred of Belly Inflation far surpasses that of Cough Man's. Ever since she was elected to her position as state representative in 2018, she has attempted no less than 9 times to ban Belly Inflation in the state. Eleanor was the only representative in Kektuncy who voted for Cough Man's 2020 resolution that attempted to ban Belly Inflation in the state. When the bill failed to pass the Kektuncy legislature, Eleanor went on a massive rant on the house floor that lasted nearly 2 hours and insulted every representative in the state. In 2021, Eleanor kidnapped a belly inflation activist in Hazard, Kektuncy, stuffed them in a box, and shipped them to Maputo, Mozambique, a country where belly inflation is punishable by death. In 2023, in her 9th attempt to ban belly inflation, she was "cancelled" on Twitter, which Eleanor didn't seem to care about. Despite everyone in the state opposing Eleanor's attempts to ban belly inflation, she "just keeps getting elected".

## Personal Life

Eleanor currently lives alone in a run-down trailer park in Northern Colonel Sanders County, Kektuncy. Eleanor also owns a summer vacation home in Fern Ridge, Oregon. She enjoys gorging herself on Cheeto's gummies and New Orleans Gumbo, and becoming JayTwerkie McIggham on Dailymotion live. She has a massive skid mark in her underwear and it's fucking gross. She may or may not have recorded a video with Bernie Sanders while at a Town Hall, which is her proudest achievement. She almost died on July 29, 2021, when her old Heroin den in Northern Rebabone burned down. She managed to barely escape the blaze, only surviving because she didn't manage to save her Looney Tunes cups. She was banned from Twitter on January 8th, 2020, because she said that she hates all minorities and transbians, and that "I swear, Uyghur concentration camps need to come to the US, that would be so fucking cool." She later replied to an upset transbian's tweet with her IP address. Eleanor was then banned. In typical Eleanor fashion, she became Natornator 9000, and blew up the Twitter Headquarters, killing Garfield Arbuckle XVI.

### Search for Mother

After it was revealed that Barack Harold Obama was her father in 2022, Eleanor went on a quest to discover who her birth mother was. The search started in Central Nevada, where Eleanor's mother was (supposedly) last seen. However, no trace of her was found, and Eleanor went on to search several areas in Washington and Oregon. Eleanor skipped searching in California, as she "Didn't want to be in the same state as those damn liberals." In June 2022, while searching in southern Alberta, Canada, she accidentally hit a moose with her 1986 Subaru Brat. Instead of just tossing the corpse into a ditch or something, she tied it to the top of her car and drove all the way back to her trailer park, as to not waste "a good meal." She then continued her search by driving up to the beautiful city of Crabshabaftafulter, New York. On June 22, 2022, she entered a Wegman's store in the city. While shopping, she accidentally set the store's slushy machine ablaze, resulting in the Machine and the Wegman's exploding. Eleanor miraculously survived the explosion, and was seen casually walking out of the stores wreckage, getting into her car, and driving off. In July 2022, Eleanor's Subaru Brat was stolen near Door County, Wisconsin. Eleanor blamed the theft on a Lebanese immigrant, and Eleanor had him arrested and sent to the Alcatraz 2 Penitentiary in Monowi, Nebraska. Photos were posted online by the thieves, and Eleanor temporarily stopped her search to find them. After searching for a while in Florida (Note: Eleanor was not actually "searching", she was actually on a beach vacation in Miami), Eleanor found her car abandoned in a forest in Oklahoma. Eleanor then found something belonging to her mother, her femur, near Tulsa in July. However, this has been the only thing Eleanor has found so far.

## Fun Facts

* Eleanor has tried on numerous occasions to change her name to "Eleanor **Rigby**", after the Beatles song of the same name, as Eleanor both likes the song and hates her real last name. However, every time she has attempted to change her name, she has received a cease-and-desist letter from Apple Records.
* Harold Christ is rising again.
* mayonnaise!
* Everything is fine, there is nothing to worry about.
* chemily