Xandra Xok Abernathy

Xandra Abernathy's Cake and LSD promotional logo.

### Relatives

Marge Simpson (mom, dad, brother, sister, cousin, grandmother, all of the above)

## Physical description

### Eye color

the color of my soul

**Xandra Xok Abernathy** (January 27, 1955 - July 16, 2020) was an American grandmother, a heroin activist, a meth activist, and a wanted criminal in 158 different countries. Xandra was also the president of the Organization for Cake and LSD.

## Biography

### Early Life

Xandra was born on January 27, 1955 in Buddha, Indiana, where she started school at the age of 6. She was very smart and talented for her age, but at age 12, she dropped out of school and became a slave for the drug cartel in Mexico. She tried LSD, meth, heroin, weed, and crack simultaneously, causing her brain to implode. From this day on, she sang Barbie Girl while doing LSD during her satanic rituals.

### Vice Satan

After Justin Bieber was assassinated, Xandra became Vice Satan of the United States. She met Janley Manley, who was Satan during the time that Xandra was inaugurated into office. By her side, they nuked all 195 countries, multiple territories, and the moon, trying to kill all life on the planet; however, these nukes failed and devolved into asparagus-scented pee. Xandra's love for first-degree murder developed in her time of office.

### Satan (1969-2001)

Xandra was sworn into office as Satan on June 9, 1969, after Janley Manley shot herself live on television after nuking Wyoming, turning the country into an abortion, and failing to pass the legalization of smuggling exotic pets across the borders. The first thing that Xandra did in office was order the building of the World Trade Center of New York, which was revealed at the end of her daily live satanic ritual on television on June 1, 1970. Construction immediately began, opening up as the largest buildings in the world at the time. Satan Abernathy promised to murder the entire nation by 1990, which caused her approval ratings to soar to 51%, the highest approval rating of any incumbent in history. Xandra failed on this promise, causing her demise, which led to her cause of 9/11 and the War on Terror, which caused her impeachment.

### Recent Years

In 2007, Xandra broke 14 international world peace agreements after sending packages of atomic bomb kits to orphanages in Germany. The packages were thought to originally be Chernobyl Plant Puzzles, which were all put together in 13 of 14 of these places. All of these kits put together exploded. In 2020, Xandra caused multiple eye injuries after crocheting a quilt of Hannah Montana.

## Popular culture

Xandra is depicted in the brand new Street Fighter IV, from PayStation666, depicted as a crudely drawn woman with spider-like teeth features. She is the final boss in the game, and offers all other characters cake and LSD, before assassinating them with her 8 foot tall wig. Xandra has also been sued by Marge Simpson for "stealing her look" multiple times; however, Simpson has lost every single time she has filed lawsuits against her. Xandra is also depicted in the Rebabone Movie, released in 1 AD at the Bedrock Cinema. Fred Flintstone was assassinated at the first screening.

## See Also

* Janley Manley
* Marilyn the Heroin Addict
* Lamont J. Slinccy