TSPS 89: Indoor Pool

**Show format: 62 minutes, Pre-recorded**

**Call types: Tenant From Hell, Cactus**

**Notable clip: “You don’t make the house a pool” (43:21)**

**Show info**

**Play on the Youtubez**

This morning show begins with an update on a prank request from the last TSPS episode. User submitted ‘Cactus’ clips get played. Russian teenagers converted their living room into a pool. Dastardly prank ideas are formed.

7:30: Weather, courtesy of Frankie McDonald. Brad converts temperatures to Fahrenheit like a reasonable person.

9:32: Roy’s converted his living room into a pool (wonder where he got that idea from..) and now his neighbors below are complaining about the leaks. Roy’s only a guest and doesn’t know the apartment number, but the apartment manager is intent on ratting him out by going door to door. The pool's area is spreading, it’s now in the kitchen as well, but it seems like Roy will get away with it all as the line cuts off dead, almost as if the manager was on a cordless phone. Roy could call back but thinks it's more fun to let them figure it out, tee-hee.

13:24: Roy decides to call back after all, Mr. manager dude calls BS before succumbing to bad cordless phone signal again.

14:31: Tenant Roy over on 71st is also having leaking pool issues but can’t get past the staffer’s attitude problem. It’s fine, he’ll just let it leak, sucks to be them.

16:58: Roy’s pool in his apartment over on Aston was fine for the first few weeks but his plan to convert it to a heated model via the oven made it spring a leak. Employee Lindsay finds this all very amusing and calls Roy out for not using the communal pools. But Roy’s feeling fat shamed and prefers to have his own private pool. Lindsay is still tickled and not taking any of Roy’s antics seriously.

20:40: Listeners get blamed for pranks not working.

21:19: Employee at the Blue Cactus restaurant doesn’t realise how offensive their business name is towards Muslims. Charles is planning a protest to shame them. While the first employee was sorry, the manager Charles gets transferred to is less accommodating, claims to be a Muslim himself and is as offended by Charles as Charles was at their name. The threat is laid – the police will kick Charles’ head in if he goes down there to protest.

25:07: Gerard from a restaurant across town now tries to poach the Blue Cactus waitress, but seems she’s not looking for another job. Oh my gawd.

27:04: More leaking pool problems, this time over at Park Apartments. Roy’s tried the heated pool idea again and it’s melted the plastic. Again. The staff are confused – pools aren’t allowed inside, but this isn’t a pool into the apartment, it’s the apartment into a pool, as Roy points out. Roy and these people can’t agree – they just see the pool as a big problem and want to drain it out, but at least they pay for the water muses he. After a back-and-forth about damage, mold and caulk guns, Roy notices that the lights are now flickering. Apartment lady links the two together but as Roy points out, she’s just a woman, what would she know? Roy’s indoor water feature is their damage it seems, they just don’t see pool to pool.

38:48: Brad on 1st Street snitches on his neighbors for installing their own indoor pool, but turns out he wants to get one too, or a reduction in his rent. Manager Keith is having trouble working out where the pool is (seems they have a lot of vacant units), but that’s fine as Brad is equally unsure where he lives and things move around the building a bit. Prospects of eviction and threats to write Brad a letter get thrown around, but Brad just thinks Keith is full of baloney and keeps up the old 'I've changed the locks' defence.

48:26: The show ends with a COMC style RoyBot call from JIAD’s Art of Phonelarking.