2023 Power Rankings-Week 4

## Introduction

Something old. Something new. Something Burrowed. Something blew.

Something old: For the ninth time in 13 seasons, Papa's Posse has started below .500 through three weeks. After starting 1-2 each of the last three years, Papa is 0-3 for the first time since 2013. It's also old news for Sweet Dee, who starts above .500 through three weeks for the sixth time in her 10 seasons.

Something new: Despite the rash of injuries, Stupid Idiots has started 3-0 for the first time in their franchise history. Ditto for Paddock 9, who has never started a season with a 3-game win streak and is both first in the standings and first in points for the first time through September in franchise history. Finally, Shotti is 1-2 for just the 2nd time in franchise history after starting 2-1 in 10 of their first 11 seasons.

Something Burrowed: After some discussion over targets, Joe Burrow fed Ja'Marr Chase on Monday night to the tune of 15 targets, helping ma ma momma said to a crushing victory over Sweet Dee and a much-needed win to climb to 1-2. The success of Burrow to Chase lead to a big lead late, meaning defenses were prepared to stack the box against Joe Mixon. Because of that, a MNF comeback fell just short for Duck Punchers. They fall to 0-3 for just the second time in franchise history.

Something blew: The bad luck continues for RIPDab. Over the weekend, Mike Williams blew out his knee and is now done for the 2023. A devastating blow to a depleted roster that is already down Cooper Kupp and without JK Dobbins for the remainder of the year. Elsewhere, Pain Train came from behind after Davante Adams blew up on SNF, finishing with a whopping 50 points.

No, this isn't a joke about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce getting married. But a wedding may be in the near future for a member of our league. He might be 0-3, but Zach has plenty to be happy about as he is engaged to his lovely partner, Jane. While this happened a few weeks ago, I haven't taken the time to acknowledge it in the rankings so I want to say on behalf of Glorio and the entire realm of the Fantasy Gods, congratulation!

## Matchup Recap

* Paddock 9 joins the 300 club with a statement win against a really good performance from The Shotti Bunch (8-10). **Next Matchup: Week 10**
* Mattness keeps pace atop the charts with a little help from the Foreign Country Curse in a rare regular season win vs. Duck Punchers (9-12). **Next Matchup: Week 6**
* Stupid Idiots scratches and claws his way to the only sub-200 performance victory of the week in a narrow defeat of RIPDab (9-5). **Next Matchup: Week 5**
* Ma ma momma said gets back into the conversation in a sleepy victory over an inattentive Sweet Dee (12-6). **Next Matchup: Week 12**
* Pain Train is back from Greece and back in the win column after a high-scoring takedown of Papa's Posse (14-10). **Next Matchup: 7**

## Stat Chat

* A bad omen for Paddock and Mattness? The last time there were two 3-0 teams and two 0-3 teams was 2016. That was the year both 3-0 teams missed playoffs and both 0-3 teams made playoffs.
* This is the first time there are three 3-0 teams in the 10-team era.
* Pain Train FINALLY becomes the 3rd team to reach 100 combined wins!
* Paddock 9 becomes the 6th team to reach 90 combined wins (187 games).
* Mattness becomes the 7th team to reach 90 combined wins (188 games).
* Duck Punchers becomes the 9th team to reach 60 regular season losses.
* Duck Punchers has tied their franchise record for longest losing streak to start a season (3 games).
* The Stupid Idiots is 3-0 for the first time in franchise history.
* Mattness is 3-0 for the first time since 2015.
* Ma ma momma said ties Duck Punchers for the most blowout wins in regular season history (21).
* Ma ma momma said becomes the 5th team to break 200 points in 90 regular season games.
* Mattness becoems the 6th team to break 200 points in 100 total games.

## The 300-Point Club

This week we induct the 31st 300-point performance into the club. This is the third 300-point game from Paddock 9, tying him with Shotti, Pain Train, and Stupid Idiots. It is the fifth-narrowest margin of victory for a 300-point performer and the 6th-lowest 300-point game overall.

## Longest Winning Streaks to Start a Season by Team (Updated)

Three teams are actively in their longest win streak ever to start a season.

Updated 09/27/23

At least one team (Idiots or Mattness) will see their streak extended while at least one will see it end.

## Team Records By Month - Updated Through September 2023

Great September for Paddock 9 and Mattness, who typically start the season slow and ramp up as the year goes on.

Bad month for the September record-holder, Duck Punchers, who couldn't muster a victory.

Idiots gets to .500 for September but is at risk of falling below .500 in October if they cannot overcome key injuries.

## This Time Last Year... (2022 Week Three Standings)

Duck and Mattness switch places, Dee and momma find themselves in the same situation.

## Above and Below

A chart to track how many games above/below projections for each team.

## Absolute Standings

Absolute Standings tracks the standings if the top five scoring teams won every week regardless of matchup.

## Power Rankings - Week 4 (Eras Edition)

Back in week 2 of 2020 we did a Taylor Swift edition of the Power Rankings, where everybody was assigned a song off her new album "Folklore." This is incredibly disappointing to me because 1.) I looked back and didn't really do a good job of it and 2.) I don't like to repeat myself so I sort of backdoor fucked myself. But, I am determined to do a theme this week so we got something very loosely associated. Taylor is on her ERAS tour, so this week we have a theme of eras in Earth history. Which era throughout the course of our planet's existence best exemplifies the current state of your team?

### 1(2). Paddock 9

* Era: Nuclear Age

Paddock 9 must have taken pre-workout or eaten a lot of Mexican because he has been explosive to start the year. The only thing that might possibly limit the upside is if Cooper Kupp gets back healthy, cutting off Nacua's endless supply of targets. And Mostert certainly isn't coming through with 53.60 every week. But knowing Pat he will rape and pillage his way to another super star, trading his entire 2024 season away in the process.

### 2(1). Multiverse of Mattness

* Era: Renaissance

Mattness has already matched their win total from both their 2022 and their 2020 seasons, and we are just now hitting October. It's a good sign for Mattness that they are in a new age of blossoming possibility. That said, week 3 (despite a top-5 score) was concerning. 60% of their score came from three players, while offensive lines for Tampa and New England seem to be limited the upside for starting backs White and Stevenson. He may need some bench stashes to come through to continue his success during byes.

### 3(3). Duck Punchers

* Era: Cold War Era

When our parents were in school they would have to hide under their desks in preparation for a Soviet bombing that never came. Likewise, I feel myself weary of Duck's 0-3 start. They are 4th in points scored with Aaron Jones and Jonathan Taylor on the bench and certain players (CeeDee) not yet reaching their potential. Obviously it won't happen, but if this team won 11 straight to finish 11-3 I don't think anybody would be surprised. They are the monster hiding under the bed, the enemy lurking behind the iron curtain.

### 4(5). Ma ma momma said

* Era: Reconstruction Era

After a hard-fought war in 2022, it seems like momma is in a process of reloading. At 1-2, their season is far from over, but their RB room might need to be retooled following Minnesota's acquisition of Cam Akers and the certified strange usage of Derrick Henry in Tennessee. At least they won despite leaving 81 points on their bench from Achane (pronunciation pending).

### 5(7). The Stupid Idiots

* Era: The Sixth Extinction

The sixth and current mass extinction in Earth history, this period is marked by a rapid dying off of our precious animals and resources. Or, in Idiots case, his running backs. I choose this extinction because there is still time to stop it. We can still triumph. But it is going to take some luck, possibly some trading with other nations, and some careful manipulation of the species we have left. Idiots got lucky in week 3. He was outscored by 7 teams. But he caught one of the two teams that was worse than him, and not by much.

### 6(8). The Shotti Bunch

* Era: Ancient History

Amari Cooper, Mike Evans, DeAndre Hopkins, George Kittle. Names that have been bouncing around the league for years. Shotti has amassed quite a who's who of former pro bowlers. So far, a few have really come through (Evans is a HOF'er, I don't care what anybody says), and some have not (Hopkins is essentially not in an offense, he's just in a group of guys who wander on to the field every Sunday). Shotti had a great week, which is why he moved up in the standings. But his Glory Bowls are in the distant past, and it has been a long time since he made an appearance even in a semifinals game.

### 7(9). Pain Train

* Era: Golden Age of Piracy

We all know what comes next. Pain Train has their first win, in convincing fashion nonetheless, and now the trading will begin. Look for Pain Train to slide into your DMs at some point this week in an attempt to coax some tier 1 or 2 player from your roster in exchange for a tier 4 or 5 guy and a very late 2026 draft pick. The season has officially begun for the league's rogue nation, and they will have to plug the leaks in their ship, namely NaGEEEZ You Can't Run for SHIT Harris. Lucky for him, Quentin Johnson stands to benefit from the loss of Mike Williams.

### 8(4). Sweet Dee

* Era: Classical

What does Sweet Dee have in common with Taylor Swift fans? Neither of them paid any attention to football before 1:05 on Sunday. I think it goes without saying that mistakes happen throughout the course of the fantasy season. You set your lineup, head out for brunch, and there is a surprise inactive that you don't catch before lock. Or maybe you have 8 leagues, you do your best to get through it all, but unfortunately you left Adam Trautman in your 5th W/R/T flex spot in a 14-teamer when you meant to swap in Kenyan Drake. But not getting Ekeler out of your lineup when the trend all week was that he wasn't going to play, and you're 2-0 and it's a 10-teamer with robust free agency and three available IR spots? Ah, yet this is classic Sweet Dee, who must have felt the shifting of the weather. A cold breeze through the leaves and the internal mechanism that starts the annual collapse kicks in.

### 9(6). RIPDab

* Era: The Great Depression

Similar to the stock market giants of the late 20s, RIPDab invested everything and has watched it all crash down. Kupp, then Dobbins, then Williams. He was smart not to take Aaron Jones and Kyler Murray as keepers, because they're both out too. Anybody that RIP likes or looks at or thinks about quietly while browsing Underdog prop bets ends up dead or on IR. Even his Cowboys defense has been ravaged with injury. Every season someone is touched with the injury bug and sadly this year it's Nate.

### 10(10). Papa's Posse

* Era: The Dark Ages

It was supposed to go better! Papa finally had a decent game and went up against someone with an even better game. Thielen has yet to get the call but he may get promoted to the starting lineup in week 4 as he goes up against his old team in Minnesota. Papa had five players break 20 points. It's a well-balanced team. It's just been yet another rough start for him and it doesn't get easier as he goes up against 0-3 Duck Punchers, equally desperate for a win.

## Matchup of the Week: The First to Four (Stupid Idiots vs. Mattness)

This is an extra special week in the LOC. 8 of 10 teams are playing someone right next to them in the standings. 2nd plays 3rd, 5th plays 6th, 7th plays 8th, and 9th plays 10th. Anybody who is feeling like their season is on the brink has a shot at knocking down their most direct current competition for a playoff spot. The fifth matchup is a battle of 1st vs. 4th, meaning the top four teams are all facing off.

Not only are the two 0-3 teams playing, but two of the three 3-0 teams. And that's where our focus is this week. Idiots vs. Mattness, a rematch of Glory Bowl XI. Idiots has won 6 of the last 7 matchups against Mattness, including the championship game in 2021. He has not scored under 200 points in this head-to-head since 2018. Similarly, Mattness has scored over 200 in 8 of their 10 showdowns. Whenever these two clash, it is almost guaranteed to be a high-scoring affair.

For the first time this season, Mattness does not have anybody playing on Thursday night, meaning it will be the first time he heads into the weekend with a deficit and the first time all season that he has trailed in a matchup. idiots will roll out the best TE of the rookie class to this point, LaPorta, as well as second-year WR Romeo Doubs,

On Sunday, both defenses have plus matchups. KC takes on the Jets while SF faces Arizona. We'll see how Tua, fresh off a 70-burger against the Broncos, fairs for Idiots against a tougher Bills defense. Meanwhile, will Justin Herbert need to move the needle very much for LA as they face a weak Raiders team, but without their star WR2 Mike Williams?

The biggest X-Factor for Idiots is Barkley, who does not play until Monday night. Will Idiots risk him starting and keep him in the lineup, or start another player on Sunday and bank that Barkley won't play on Monday night? His decision here could be the difference between a win and a loss.

The biggest X-Factor for Mattness is Waddle. If Waddle can play, it cuts into Tua's totals, but if he doesn't than Mattness will need to figure out which flex WR (Elijah, Skyy, or Bourne) is getting the go-ahead.

Updated through 11/2/22

## Survivor Update - Week 3

Tough week of Survivor. Jared has been eliminated after selecting Jacksonville. Big Dick Nick is eliminated by selecting Dallas. Commish gets their first strike by selecting Dallas. Papa gets his first strike with Dallas.

Shotti survives another week in the rogue Survivor league by selecting San Francisco. For those keeping score at home, that's BAL, DAL, SF for Shotti, no strikes.

## Conclusion

By the end of Week 4 we will have one 0-4 team and one 4-0 team for the second season in a row. Last year, it was Duck at 4-0 and Mattness at 0-4. Who will it be this year? Tune in...