Lucy's Vampire Club

**Lucy's Vampire Club** is the 70th episode of The Loudest House!

Next episode: A Loud House Holiday

## Synopsis:

Lucy and her friends form a vampire club after watching the series finale of Vampires of Melancholia.

## Character appearances:

* Lucy Loud
* Silas Van Pelt
* Haiku
* Rocky Spokes
* Bertrand
* Boris
* Dante
* Morpheus
* Persephone

## Transcript:

On a Friday afternoon, Lucy was in her mortician’s club.

Lucy: And our newcomer, Rocky should know one ritual we always do every Friday night…

Haiku: We watch the brand new Vampires of Melancholia and pretend we’re vampires!

Silas: And we avoid all the garlic in the world.

Rocky: I dunno… I’m not really INTO vampires…

Lucy: You watched Hotel Transylvania last week with my family...didn’t you?

Rocky: Yeah...but that was a funny movie! No way is Vampires of Melancholia funny.

Silas: It doesn’t HAVE to be funny! You’ll see!

~ ~ ~

At Silas' house, the mortician club all gathered in the living room to watch the new Vampires of Melancholia.

On the TV: And tonight, tune into the series finale of Vampires of Melancholia… Starting now!

Lucy: Series finale? But it can’t be!

Bertrand looked up from his phone.

Bertrand: Oh, but it is. Said by Edwin himself!

Lucy and Haiku (in unison): NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Rocky: But we can still enjoy the finale! I hope.

Haiku: Oh, we’ll enjoy it.

Boris: It’s the best show out there!

Dante: Beats the Dream Boat.

Morpheous: Or Tangled.

Persephone: Or Phil of the Future.

Bertrand: Or So Random!

Rocky: Hey, I like those shows!

Haiku: Suuurre…

Lucy: Shhh… It’s started.

Lucy and her friends tuned into the show.

~ ~ ~

After a half-hour, Lucy and her friends (with the exception of Rocky) were crying.

Lucy: That was a beautiful finale!

Haiku: I know! I knew Tristan was no good! He almost killed Griselda with that nasty stake!

Silas: And Edwin sacrificed himself!

Boris: And that twist ending of actually revealing that Tristan was the villain!

Persephone: And I thought he was just that average mild-mannered teen boy who got turned into a vampire…

Morpheous: It seriously was insane.

Lucy: And I think I have an idea…

Silas: What is it?

Lucy: We should start our own vampire club. You know, to pay tribute to such a great series.

Rocky: Count me out! Rusty wanted me to help him fix his bike...every day this week!

Lucy: Oh, come on, Rocky. It’ll be...to die for.

Lucy and the rest of the mortician club grinned.

Rocky: Okay, okay! Fine!

Lucy: Works every time…

~ ~ ~

Next Friday night, the morticians club (and Rocky) were in Haiku’s basement.

Lucy: Haiku, did you get the stuff for tonight?

Haiku: Yep. A pint of fake blood…

Haiku pointed to a container filled with fake blood.

Haiku: ...sets of fangs.

Haiku pointed to the fake fangs on the coffee table.

Haiku: And finally, dinner… Rocky, you’ll be our treat.

Rocky started to look squeamish.

Haiku: I’m kidding.

Lucy: Sigh, dinner would be red velvet cupcakes with spaghetti and meatballs with no garlic bread. My dad made some to bring over.

Haiku: This looks delicious!

Silas: Likewise.

Rocky: But I actually like garlic bread!

Dante: He’s not a real vampire! I think he’s come to spy on us!

Haiku: Let’s suck his blood!

Rocky: What - NO! Please don’t!

Silas: You leave us no choice.

The morticians club crowded around Rocky.

Rocky: Stand back! I got a fake stake!

The morticians club eyed Rocky.

Rocky: Dang it. Shouldn’t have said fake…

Rocky pointed the fake stake at the morticians club, and they all fell down.

Rocky: Yep! Rocky the Vampire Slayer has slayed you vampires good!

The rest of the morticians club sat up.

Lucy: And I guess one last thing to do…

Haiku: Yes. The burial ceremony. Silas?

Silas got up.

Silas: Yep! I’ll be the mortician to take care of these dead vampires.

Just then, Haiku’s mother called from upstairs.

Ms. Addams (from upstairs): Haiku, bed time!!

Haiku: And we’ll resume this in the morning?

Rocky: Actually, I promised to help my dad detrim the tree.

Boris: You STILL have your Christmas tree up?

Rocky: Hey, nothing wrong with it!

Lucy: Well, my siblings were probably wondering where I am. Sigh.

Silas: We’ll catch ya Monday, Haiku.

The morticians club and Rocky left.

Haiku: Best night ever!