Doge

## Dogero "Doge" Maloge

A picture of Doge sitting on a couch for a photo shoot, 2013. This exact image has later become a staple in his self-made divorce related memes, and has also taken off as a mainstream meme for whatever reason.

### Aliases

Snoge (snail persona used in comedy routines and his career as an Uber driver, often used to the extent where he will announce "le snaile has arrived" upon arriving to pick somebody up.)

### Relatives

Betsy (ex-wife)Ethan (son)

Lilah (daughter)

## Physical description

### Eye color

Brown

Doge is a parent of 2 kids and the ex-husband of Betsy Maloge. He is a convict, due to his failed Dogecoin operation, his Walmart scandal, and his multiple battery and assault charges. These offenses are the main reason why full custody of his two children have gone to his ex-wife, Betsy, much to Doge's dismay. Aside from the Cryptids, Doge is one of the main antagonists of the Epicness universe due to his constant meddling in human rights violations for the sake of furthering his own wealth and power.

## Personality

Doge, although trying his best to be a loving father and supportive figure in his children's' lives, has a tendency to be bitter when his requests (such as to see his children on occasion) are not reciprocated. He expresses this through harassing and pleading with Betsy over social media, often through the format of captioned memes. He has also formed a network of relatives and friends who are divorced and without custody. This explains why these divorce-related memes will sometimes use different names for the ex-wives and children they are addressing. He also has a noticeable temper, especially when provoked, leading to assault and battery charges on multiple occasions. Despite his temper and tendency to be upset when his requests aren't met, he still maintains a loving, if somewhat distant and irrelevant, presence in his children's lives.

## Dogecoin Scandal

One of the many reasons why Doge lost custody of his two children was due to his Dogecoin scandal. It began with a small cryptocurrency miner who reached out to Doge, asking for help with a project. Doge agreed to help and quickly after its creation Dogecoin shot up in value. Doge made millions in a matter of days. He became somewhat of a playboy, spending his money on things like a Nascar team and car sponsored by the company, a mansion, and a yacht named "Little Youghtey". It was soon after this rise in prominence that CNN decided to follow Doge's enormous paper trail. After a bit of research, CNN found many horrifying things that all tied back directly to Doge's company. Multiple off-shore bank accounts, large purchases of black tar heroin and other illegal drugs, hundreds of thousands of dollars of funds sent to child sex trafficking rings and South African militias, and hundreds of nuclear warheads. His business was quickly demolished but he was able to push 70 years worth of charges onto an innocent employee and got away with 2 years for tax evasion.

## Walmart Scandal

Shortly after his rise to economical power, Doge decided to aggressively take over Walmart by becoming a majority share holder. He quickly bought out Walmart and began to make odd changes to the company including, but not limited to, offering high-end sporting gear, offering industrial grade mechanical parts and components, offering "special exchanges", and increasing the hours that the store remained open to a full 24/7 schedule. After the acquisition of Walmart and these changes being put in place, the Dogecoin scandal landed Doge in hot water but he managed to get off with only a couple of years for tax evasion. Sadly, That case led many to start digging deeper and finding out more about Doge. This led to the horrifying discovery of Walmart utilizing a child workforce who were forced to work every day all year round. They also discovered that the pay of employees was cut back severely and that extra money was being pocketed by Doge and transferred into off-shore bank accounts. Even worse was that the company was a money laundering scheme and it's fleet of delivery trucks were used in human trafficking. This led to another court case that landed him with a life sentence in a level 4 federal prison with an incredibly slim chance for parole. It is unknown why or how he received this opportunity for parole and it can only be presumed that he had made strong government connections as most people who had committed similar crimes were put on death row.

## Pre-Divorce Side Job

Before divorcing his ex-wife and losing his multi-million dollar cryptocurrency company, Doge was a famous Nascar driver. He represented his own company with a sponsored Dogecoin Ford Fusion Stock Car. It was sadly destroyed in a 12 car pile-up caused by the Home Depot car losing control and T-boning Doge's car. This was right before the Dogecoin and Walmart scandals and his divorce which left him with no money for repairs or an advertiser for the car, not to mention his lifetime prison sentence. He has since given up hope on becoming a racer ever again but he encourages his son, Ethan, to follow his crushed dreams.

## Doge's Logs

Before the mayhem that led to his economic downfall, Doge created several logs to record his life events, some of them dating back to 2013. His accountant, Fargus, leaked the logs on a cloud server(for whatever reason) after his incarceration. Doge has spent every day in prison attempting to recuperate his thoughts, trying to get his life back together so he can see his kids. He is planning on getting friends to break him out.

## Mental Decline

It is unknown how Doge has done it, but he has continued to post impact memes onto Facebook. These memes paint a picture of Doge's current mental state. His bitterness has predictably increased along with his pestering of his ex-wife. What has changed significantly since entering prison is his seemingly shattered psyche. He constantly makes increasingly threatening comments towards Betsy such as threatening to "Bury that dumb whore in my backyard, alive..." and "Get you when you least expect it, you heartless cunt." It is unknown whether this is purely an exaggeration or if he plans to follow up on these threats upon his release from prison. His memes that aren't directly linked to Betsy seem to be meaningless babbling or displaying a misunderstanding with common phrases. It seems that his mental health has gotten so poor that he is developing Alzheimer's disease at an extremely early age. As evidenced by his comments to his wife, he is heavily misogynistic and sociopathic, part of which may have been amplified by his newfound addiction to hard drugs such as cocaine and heroin. He has also developed several deviant fetishes, primarily involving feet and urine. It would seem as though he has gotten a better grip as of recently. This is displayed in the fact that his memes have shown some humanity and regret for his actions.