Schmoo

Schmoo is a human member of the FalconSMP and an employee of the corporation Falcon Corp. They currently own a pseudo business situated throughout Amalthea known as Bog Water Inc. which is run alongside his associate, Jaak.

## Schmoo

### Aliases

Bitchass Motherfucking Hoe Whore with the Fatty Fatty III, Swaglicous Swagster, War Veteran, Oldy, Freak, Dirty Little Sweatster

### Affiliation

Eventyde Kingdom (Current)Falcon Corp (Current)

## Appearance

CO2 + C -> 2 COHg^2+ ->[I-] HgI2 ->[I-] {[Hg^{II}I4]^2-}Get chemically equationed stupid fucking bitch

Schmoo is a typical, average looking human. Standing at 6'1,he has a tall, lanky build with a tan complexion and softer features. His hair is black with a similar shade for their eyes. Moles of varying sizes dot their entire body and there is a small, oddly shaped scar in their left arm that they keep covered at all times by a bandaid. He also has a tramp stamp no one knows about that says "CO2 + C -> 2 COHg^2+ ->[I-] HgI2 ->[I-] {[Hg^{II}I4]^2-}."

They are typically seen wearing their business attire either without pants or a simple, brown sweater vest. They always wear a "I <3 MILFS" t-shirt layered underneath their dress shirt and is more than willing to show anyone who asks.

Having a more retro feel, Schmoo appears to have just come out of the 60-70s with a fashion sense reminiscint of that era. He wears a pair of dark brown browline glasses held together in the middle by a bandaid and his hair is cut short in an almost under-shaven, bowlcut-esque style.

## Personality

Schmoo has a very complex and eccentric personality, often being difficult to understand and get to know due to his habit of confusing and misdirecting people. Depending on who they meet, the individual either grows to quickly dislike them or find them strangely amusing. They present an over-the-top, dramatized front of being a pushy, curious entrepreneur with a strong passion for the Charity of Little German Boys and Girls: their predisposition to constantly lie making this a simple task. Being an impulsive liar, his true age in unknown to everyone and as a result he has formulated an unreliable backstory that revolves around him being a veteran of an unknown war.

Leaning towards a more cunning side, Schmoo tends to take a manipulative role in all of his relationships. They are extremely egocentric and will only do something if the number one benefiter is themselves. As a result of this, they are on neither Falconcorp or the hybrid's side, finding both generally displeasing and is only in it for the money. His lack of care tends to make him impulsive which often leads to peculiar mistakes and haphazard self injuries. Although, regardless of his self-centered core, there has been a few times where he has taken into consideration other's wants and needs and has presented his care for another through rare acts of protection.

Despite their easygoing demeanor they are prone to easily get obsessed over certain topics or goals. After their younger brother had gone missing and their father had gone into debt, they began to formulate conspiracy theories surrounding Falconcorp and their intentions, dedicating months of their life to this fixation to no avail. Once he began working for the corporation his preoccupation slowly fizzled and began to lean more towards earning profit, kickstarting his idealization towards money. To go along with their consuming likelihood, they have an extremely addictive personality and easily become dependent on substances such as Spider Eyes. He is extremely adept at technology and building robotic machinery, as seen in the constant fixing and advancing of Jaak's head.

### Trivial Information

- Absolute MILF lover. Will never find a person who loves MILFs more. Big mommy milky huminahumina badoingadoing MILFs. Especially Peach's mom. AWOOOGAAA BABY!!!

- Often claims to be covered in dirt and filth and enjoys chasing people around like they are little German children

- Tells everyone that they have several holes in their body where they keep tapeworms and their eggs to incubate

## History

### **Pre-FalconSMP**

#### **Childhood:**

Growing up in a boring, cookie cutter town known as South Beach on the suburbs of one of Falconcorp’s smaller laboratories, Schmoo had a pretty average, insignificant childhood. His dad was completely out of the picture so it was just him, his younger brother,  and his mother. Part of the working class, their mom would work long days in an office building of Falconcorp, as did almost everyone else in the town. Due to their mom’s working hours, they were left alone majority of the time and had to raise their brother and themselves singlehandedly. Despite this, it never bothered him because it was the same situation for many other kids, and he enjoyed the freedom that came with it.

While attending school, Schmoo had met a kid named Mavis and became close friends with her due to the enthusiastic encouragement of their dad. Mavis’s family were one of the richest, most powerful people in town and Schmoo’s mom wanted to take advantage of that fact. Once Schmoo realized the influence Mavis’s family had, they adopted the same mentality of their dad.

#### **Teens:**

Much like their childhood, Schmoo's teenage years were mostly uneventful and average until young kids started to disappear around South Beach, including his younger brother. Despite the town’s best efforts to keep their children safe and look for the ones that went missing, their attempts were useless. Whether it be in broad daylight or in their bedrooms, a total of 20 kids were lost throughout the span of two and a half years. Falconcorp and other city officials were quick to blame it on hybrids and began to push hybrid propaganda harder than they ever had before. Although a strong hatred had spiked for the “creatures,” Schmoo had always thought it was strange, and began formulating conspiracy theories towards Falconcorp. At this point, they were on neither side of the war.

Following the disappearance and grievance of their brother, their mom made a mistake at her office job that put the family into debt, pushing them further into poverty. This caused Schmoo to sink deeper into the government theories and adopt an obsession over it. This was all in vain, however, because no matter what he thought about Falconcorp he had to respect it and grow to live with the fact that it would soon be his life.

#### **Adulthood:**

Regardless of Schmoo already knowing they’d work at Falconcorp as did almost every other young adult did in the surrounding area, the debt Schmoo’s mom racked up secured their future as a worker in the company. Starting out doing petty manual jobs such as moving heavy boxes and driving vehicles, they quickly rose up a rank and were allowed access to work in an office sorting files. It wasn’t much of a rank up, but it was better than what he was doing before. Although, because of this, he became extremely bored and jumped at any opportunity that would allow a change in scenery, even if it was a different place to go to for break.

Eventually, an opportunity for an “inside job” had presented itself and was available to anyone that was able to qualify. Somehow, Schmoo qualified, and was ecstatic to learn that he was going to go into the hybrid’s makeshift society and steal their money under the false premise of charity. Not only did the job pay higher and would relieve Schmoo and their family of the painstaking debt, but it would also be a breath of fresh air.

Schmoo set off to go create a counterfeit business and send the money and any information they received back to Falcon Corp. Once he arrived, Schmoo came across Jaak around the outside of the hybrid’s country. Jaak reminded Schmoo of their younger brother, and upon talking to him, they learned that he was somewhat familiar with the country and the people in it, learning that the name of the area was known as Almanthea. Schmoo presented the Bog Water Inc idea to Jaak and they quickly became business partners. He asked Jaak to go ahead of them and set some things up, thus kick starting everything.

## Items

  Bog Water
  Spider Eyes