Lost THX "Tex" Trailer: The Banned Kirby and the Forgotten Land Trailer

People had created so many Lost THX Tex Trailers, some were good, some were bad. Some had unique talents and scary images. Some of you have shared the spotlight, and now... it's my turn.

It was September 4th, 2022, I was searching through some DVDs at Goodwill, there were DVDs that were SpongeBob, Disney, Paramount, etc; until I found an unusual one.

It was a THX DVD, it had the Kirby and the Forgotten Land logo, as well as the THX logo itself. We can see Kirby in his oddly (but also cute) confused expression, and Tex flying on top the THX logo. I was so surprised, so I showed it to my mom, and well she was impressed. We showed it to the cashier, and it seemed like it was absolutely fine, then we got into the car and drove home.

When I got home, my mom told me that she was going over to her friend's house. This gave me enough time to watch the trailer, so I got some popcorn and a can of Sprite, I opened the case and popped the DVD into the player. It showed the 2013 Universal Pictures logo with no scary stuff happening in it (like exes or horror remakes or something like that). It then cut to the DVD menu, it was the same as the Pixar Boxset menu, but it was Kirby, Elfilin and Bandana Waddle Dee in their own respective boxes (with the colors pink, cyan and orange). It also had Tex and Dedede in their boxes too (they were red and blue). It showed 4 options, "Play, Visit Nintendo, Languages and Subtitles, Special Features." I went ahead and pressed play on the menu.

Before the trailer started, a warning came up. "Warning: The following trailer you're about to watch was made to promote Kirby's 30th Anniversary, it was also made to promote the release of Beast, despite that film is not THX-certified. It also has graphic blood and violence, which isn't suitable for viewers under 18. Please watch this trailer at your own risk. Viewer discretion is advised."

"Hopefully this won't be bad," I said.

The trailer began with Tex and Dedede in the THX Headquarters. "Are you ready, your honor?" Tex asked Dedede. "You bet!" Dedede answered. They both held up their respective weapons, Tex held his chainsaw, while Dedede held up his hammer. It immediately cut to black.

It showed a shot of the logo, then Kirby, Elfilin and Bandana Waddle Dee walked into the shot.

"Hey Kirby, why are we here? Isn't there something familiar about this logo?" Elfilin asked Kirby.

"Poyo!" Kirby answered.

"Kirby is saying that he took us to this hideout of that robot who murdered people," Bandana Waddle Dee responded. "I even found out that he killed toys that were alive and some fairy-tale creatures."

Kirby thinks that robot used to work for Haltmann.

"Guys, this isn't Planet Robobot, okay? If that robot doesn't kill us, we'll be alright. Like that guy is a myth!" Elfilin said.

Kirby and Bandana Waddle Dee nodded in agreement.

Then, faint chuckling was heard, echoing the room.

Kirby was confused as usual to hear who chuckled, while Bandana Waddle Dee was in a scared emotion, shaking in fear.

The same chuckle was heard again.

"Did you hear that?" Elfilin asked nervously.

"If it's that robot, I'm going to pass out!" Bandana Waddle Dee responded.

Suddenly, Tex dropped down in front of the three friends. Bandana Waddle Dee was shocked now.

"Hello, starlies and the flying mouse." Tex said, before chuckling again.

Then, Kirby heard another familiar chuckle, it was none other than King Dedede who entered the room.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my old enemy, Kirby!" Dedede said.

"What are you three doing in my hideout?" Tex asked.

Kirby and his friends walked up to Tex and Dedede to confront them once and for all.

"Tex, you have murdered so many people, for what? A logo that they were afraid of? That is no way to kill someone. If you wanted revenge, then imagine you had a killer who killed your father." Elfilin spoke against Tex.

"I agree with Elfilin!" Bandana Waddle Dee spoke also, joining Elfilin. "You know that you have no remorse for murdering those people. We're going to call the police and have you arrested for years!"

"Poyo!" Kirby said, agreeing with Elfilin and Bandana Waddle Dee.

Dedede chuckled very loudly. "Oh yeah, you think that confrontation is going to work? I no longer need Waddle Dees, The Beast Pack is my new organization. Me and Tex are like brothers from another mother, isn't that right, Texie?"

"You're right, sire. Besides, they don't even stand a chance against us!" Tex responded.

Kirby and Elfilin looked at them with an angry look.

Bandana Waddle Dee charged at Tex and threw a spear at him, however Tex dodged the attack. Then Dedede whacked him with his hammer, sending him flying through the air.

Kirby gasped in shock.

Bandana Waddle Dee then landed on the ground. He tried to stand up, but he feels like his legs have been broken.

Elfilin gasped and said, "No!"

Dedede walked up to Bandana Waddle Dee.

"Sorry, Waddle Dee. That was for your own good." Dedede said, betraying him for real.

Bandana Waddle Dee then responded in fear. "Please, sire! Tex is using you for his evil plans! Don't let yourself fall to his evil plot!"

"It's too late, you're out." Dedede angrily retorted, then he turned to Tex. "Finish the job."

Tex then walked from behind, laughing stupidly as always.

"Time to play Slice-a-Dee with Sexy Texy!" Tex shouted holding his chainsaw.

Tex then started up his chainsaw, and saw Bandana Waddle Dee's face off, with blood coming out.

I started to get a little sick, but at least I didn't vomit from the scene, so I continued watching.

Kirby and Elfilin were shocked in horror when they stared at Bandana Waddle Dee's corpse.

"Poyo!" Kirby shouted.

"No..." Elfilin gasped softly.

Tex then chuckled again and said, "Which stary should the T-Man play with next?

Dedede chuckled in agreement.

Kirby and Elfilin then looked at each other, and they decided to make a run from it.

“Hey! Where are you two going?! You haven’t seen the T-Tex's magic tricks yet!” Tex shouted.

Dedede said, "Let's get them!"

Tex turned on his jetpack and followed them, while King Dedede catched up from behind.

Kirby and Elfilin ran for their lives, until Meta Knight showed up behind them.

Meta Knight said to them, "It's going to be okay." Then he turned to Tex and Dedede. "If you want Kirby and Elfilin, you're going to have to get past me."

"Fair enough." Tex said.

Then he grabbed his cow can, tilted it over, and a portal to hell opened behind Meta Knight.

"No, this isn't how Meta Knight dies!" Meta Knight shouted in fear.

"Sayonara, borb!" Tex said, as he and King Dedede walking between him and the portal.

The portal sucked him up as Meta Knight screamed as he went through the portal.

Kirby and Elfilin continued running from the two killers, until Elfilin tripped over.

Kirby was shocked that she tripped over.

"Kirby, go on without me... See you in heaven..." Elfilin said.

Kirby nodded sadly and continued running.

Dedede then pounded Elfilin with his hammer.

Kirby then looked back at Tex and Dedede, and looked away.

He then found an abandoned Target and went inside.

He sat in the customer service counter to hide.

Then, Tex and Dedede enter the store.

"The itsy, bitsy Kirby went up the apple tree." Tex sang along.

"Down came the penguin and brought him to his knees." Dedede joined in.

Tex then put on his sensibility to find Kirby.

"Hey King, I found that little marshmallow!" Tex reminded.

Kirby was now in shock, they knew where he was hiding.

"Knew it! I'll be in the logo!" Dedede proclaimed.

It showed a shot of Kirby in the dark. Then, Tex stood up behind him.

"Found you!" Tex yelled.

Kirby screamed in fear.

"Time to float up with the Tyrannosaurus Tex tonight!" Tex shouted sinsterly.

Kirby tried to make another run for it, but was grabbed by Tex and the two flew up in the air.

Kirby was in shock as Tex held him as he flew towards the THX logo.

Tex then asked, "Are you enjoying your flight at Tex Airlines?"

Kirby then shouted various Kirby noises, it looks like wants to get out.

"Oh, you want out? Well, enjoy your fall!" Tex said.

He let go of Kirby, leaving him to plummet.

Kirby fell screaming from a great height, before finally hitting the ground.

Kirby got up sitting, and spotted Dedede next to him, who held his hammer toward him. Just then, Tex also dropped down behind him.

"This is the end for you, Kirby." Dedede announced.

Kirby shouted various Kirby noises again.

"I don't care, Star Warrior!" Tex interrupted him.

Tex then decided to pull Kirby's arms and legs off as easily and dropped them on to his body.

Kirby was shocked at first, but then he cried a tear of stars.

"Poyo..." Kirby said, tearfully.

"Eh, we didn't kill you, we made you better!" Tex said.

"Now you're all better now! Cheer up!" Dedede remarked.

Dedede then quietly said, "Get ready for your last breath, Kirby."

Dedede raised his hammer at Kirby, and then pounded him so hard like a needle popping a balloon.

It then cut to black.

Just then, it faded to a scene of a wide shot of the THX logo in a dark background.

Just then, we heard the chorus of people screaming for the deep note, the screams mostly belonged to Kirby, Bandana Waddle Dee, Elfilin and Meta Knight.

The deep note went for ten seconds until Tex and Dedede dropped down onto the ground if it was a jumpscare and faced the audience.

"Hello, Kirby fans." Tex said. "I'm back, killing your favorite characters, and I have a new partner, King Dedede!"

"That's right!" Dedede remarked. "I'm back and better than ever before."

"Now remember the Sexy Texy rule, if you're scared of me, my logos, or if you dishonor King Dedede, we will come to your house and give you the ride of your life." Tex added.

"Good night and sweet dreams!" King Dedede said, before grabbing into Tex' jackpack and flying away, both laughing evilly.

Then, it showed the old THX slogan, “The Audience is Listening," but the corners are blood-stained.

It then faded out.

I decided to press eject on my DVD Player, before I did that, a close-picture of King Dedede's blood-stained grinning face appeared on the screen.

It was accompanied with a man screaming, and a somewhat loud, distorted version of the Godzilla roar.

Then, it took me back to the DVD Menu, meaning that the DVD finally ended.

I was scared out of my mind.

Also, how was Godzilla's roar there? Godzilla is owned by Toho, not Nintendo!

I texted my mom about the DVD.

When she got home, I showed her the footage and she believed me.

I got the chance to screenshot some of the footage before my mom smashed the DVD with a hammer.

I then emailed Nintendo about the DVD.

That night, I had nightmares of Tex and Dedede the same ways they did to Kirby and his friends: getting sliced in the face with a chainsaw, getting sent to a portal to hell, and getting pounded in the face with Dedede's hammer.

The next day, I got a reply from Nintendo themselves,

"Dear Brett, we're so sorry that you experienced the heck in the trailer. It was probably Andrew Skinner and his gang, who busted out of jail and made a Lost THX trailer about Kirby. So glad we found them, and locked them back in jail. Kirby and friends will get revenge on Tex and Dedede in the sequel, which will honor the release of Coyote vs. Acme. Thank you!"

I didn't play a Kirby game the same way again.

To be continued...