Episode 76: World Wide Retreat

**Video:**
1:00:23

**Video:**
world wide retreat.mp4

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

Some people are always saying "charge!" but what if instead you  said "retreat"? Go to an island or something and we'll all hang out and  do team building activities. Take off your socks and take some  psychedelics, we're about to suck on your toes.

## Idea Details

* Idea: World Wide Retreat
* Creator of idea: Drew
* Purpose of idea: Well, Josiah, um I guess this is a -- I don't know, this maybe is a good lead-in to what I wanna talk about. Because what I wanna talk about is -- (Josiah: "Your pecker?") No. (Josiah: "The bumps on your pecker?") No. (Josiah: "The nasty stench.") What I wanted to talk about was needing a break. You know, um with the holidays coming, people get stressed out. Winter, there's less light. It's colder, if you're living in a place like me, like Calgary where it gets cold, icy, the roads are icy, you don't wanna go -- (Josiah: "And it is Calgary Awareness Month, we need to mention again, so it's important --") Oh yeah! It's Calgary Awareness Month, check out patreon.com/globehell, uh we have all sorts of good Calgary content, we've already had an episode with Nate and Tom, uh JF and DB, and we've got more coming. (Josiah: "Calgary Awareness Month, you can learn why Calgary is the best place on Earth, but even the best place on Earth can be a little sad someti-- when it's cold and --") Yeah. So I started thinking about: we need to give everybody a vacation. We need everybody, you know, just to take a few days for themselves, um go on a trip -- (Josiah: "You mean a, like, a weekend?") Or a week. It doesn't matter. (Josiah: "Oh, I thought you were inventing the concept of a weekend.") No. (Josiah: "Take a few -- take two -- Everyone should take two days for themselves once a week. Yeah, I've heard of that. Good idea.") No, but how often do you actually take the weekend for yourself entirely? Um, you know, a lot of times there's stuff that you need to get done on the weekends, you can't do it because you're working 40 hours a week or more! (Josiah: "That's true. That's the problem! Capitali...") So how do you go on a -- How do you -- Exac-- How do you take -- You need uh uh uh a break. A circuit breaker. So it got me thinking about the idea of a World Wide Vacation. But then I thought, OK, what can w-- how can we improve on a vacation? And that would be, instead of making it a vacation where you just relax or go sight-seeing and that kind of stuff, this could be a vacation where we all get together - everybody in the world - everybody gets together and we do something more akin to, like, a retreat. Like a corporate retreat, that sort of a thing. We do team building, we do all sorts of different activities to build the bonds between us, uh we can uh basically defeat all sorts of different prejudices, racial prejudices, um um um being prejudiced against, you know, people of -- being misogynist, being misandrist, um being transphobic, we can end all these things by just getting everybody together, uh doing team building exercises, uh and that sort of thing! (Josiah: "Do you have a name for the uh retreat? Or just --") Uhh World Wide Retreat.
* Timetable: No timetable was given for World Wide Retreat. However, its implementation only requires the previous construction of World Wide Train (noun) and Boaty McBoatface, so it will be ready very soon.
* Idea details:
	+ Everybody in the world is working 40 hours or more per week, and as a result everybody in the world needs a vacation, which will be World Wide Retreat.
	+ World Wide Retreat will be a corporate retreat with team building and all sorts of activities to build the bonds between us and defeat all forms of prejudice, such as misogyny, misandry, and transphobia, to name a few examples of prejudice.
	+ World Wide Retreat will take place on Boaty McBoatface, which is where everyone in the world is gathering for lunch everyday for World Wide Potluck, and where the World Wide Rock Festival occurs every December 23rd through 25th, which are days that no longer exist on the calendar because they were combined into one day.
		- Note: Boaty McBoatface went unmentioned in Episode 52: World Wide Ark, so it is unclear what its purpose will be after global warming melts the polar icecaps.
	+ World Wide Swingers, aka World Wide Key Party, may take place at World Wide Retreat, but the details of that will be fleshed out in a later episode when Josiah and Drew can't think of any other ideas to talk about that week.
	+ There will be a racist businessman plantation section, a silent retreat section, a psychedelic harm reduction festival section, a gamer section, an ayahuasca section, and a foot-kissing / foot-sucking / chiropractor section at World Wide Retreat. However, a lot of what everyone on Earth ends up doing will be psychedelic-based.
	+ World Wide Retreat will occur on the same weekend every year, but invitations will still be sent out ahead of time to everyone on Earth.
	+ Two bags of M&M's will be purchased ahead of time for World Wide Retreat.
	+ There will be aliens at World Wide Retreat, who will be there to give everyone in the world a common cultural thing to look at and gawk at and touch their hair.
	+ Everybody in the world will take a little World Wide Train (noun) trip together during World Wide Retreat. This ride will take them through each of the different sections of the retreat, which will be laid out in a straight line along the Train (noun) tracks.
	+ The ayahuasca used in the ayahuasca retreat section of World Wide Retreat will taste good by mixing it with juice or Coke or something like that.
		- Note: Presumably, Josiah and Drew meant the ayahuasca would be mixed with juice or Coke flavor packages which would then be swished around with water from the neighborhood World Wide Hose in your mouth.
	+ Someone will be designated as the World Wide Rave Mom at World Wide Retreat who will take care of everyone in the world and keep them all hydrated and bring blankets to keep them warm. This person will need to know a lot about drugs and yet not partake herself because she's too much of a lightweight to do them even though she's still such a fanboy of them.
	+ World Wide Retreat is mandatory. Anyone who doesn't go will be shot in the head.
	+ If any issues arise at World Wide Retreat, it will be the responsibility of the people to solve it, not Josiah and Drew.
	+ The first step at World Wide Retreat will be to go to a foot retreat to make sure your toes feel good. This will ensure that feet pains are not pain points of World Wide Retreat. This section of the retreat will involve everyone in the world taking off their socks and shoes and putting their feet up in the air so someone can come by and kiss their toes and suck on their toes. Drew will do some of the toe kissing and toe sucking, but so will everyone. This will include sucking bunions off of the feet. A chiropractor will also be cracking your back while your toes are getting sucked off.
	+ World Wide Retreat will solve all the problems on the planet. There will be no war if everyone in the world gets together and takes psychedelic drugs and Drew starts sucking on their toes. People will not want to go back to their old lives and start shooting each other again after that.
	+ No matter what you're looking to get out of World Wide Retreat, whether it's SEO or chiropractors or spiritual coach or total life transformation, you will find it.

## Devil Play

* Josiah played devil real quick by pointing out that when you get that many people together and they're pissed off because they have to pay $6 for a bottle of water and there are porta-potties and it's hot out, there may be some fights that break out, like in other festival-type environments. So while he agrees that the end result of World Wide Retreat will be world peace, but he wanted to know about these on-site fights.
	+ Drew pointed out that if there's a fight, they will simply get rid of that person by pushing them off of the platform into the ocean where they will be eaten by sharks.
	+ Josiah clarified that this means that instead of hiring a security force, they will simply have security sharks.
	+ Drew stated that they will be sharks with freaking laser beams on their heads.
	+ Josiah pointed out that World Wide Retreat is more of a Random Retreat and seems to be getting a little bit more random.
	+ Drew disagreed that this was random.
	+ Josiah agreed with this solution to the problem of fights.

## Notable Events

* Josiah and Drew discussed pronouncing "Globe Hell with the emphasis on the second syllable instead of the first. They also discussed pronouncing it with an Italian accent.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Celebrities on Being Rich But Lonely" about celebrities sharing how lonely they feel.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Celebrities on Being Rich But Unhappy" about celebrities sharing how unhappy they feel.
* Josiah and Drew discussed having Russell Brand on Globe Hell Warning.
* Drew did an impression of Marilyn Monroe, the original Karen, aka Karilyn Monroe.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Celebrities on Being Rich But Not Happy (Part 2)" about celebrities sharing how not happy they feel.
* Josiah and Drew criticized Ariana Grande for crying.
* World Wide Vacation
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The Corporate Retreat Makes a Comeback" about how executives are looking for retreats that are real investments, which has fueled sales of luxury homes with ample acreage.
* Drew revealed that his sister and her girlfriend are not married yet and so he doesn't consider his sister's girlfriend to be family.
* World Wide Swingers, aka World Wide Key Party, which is when everybody in the world will swing.
	+ Note: This is the second time key party swinging has come up during a conversation about having everyone in the world in the middle of the ocean, after Episode 52: World Wide Ark.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "I Lived at a Silent Meditation Retreat for a Week" about how I Tried out a Silent Meditation Retreat while I was away in Bali to see whether it would change my life haha, let me know how you would enjoy it.
* Josiah made eating sounds, breathing sounds, drinking sounds, and swallowing sounds.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "TRIPPING AT A FESTIVAL" about talking to people about psychedelics at Envision festival in Costa Rica!
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Gamer Retreat 2013" about highlights from this years gamer retreat.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Ayahuasca Retreat in Peru: The Ultimate Psychedelic Drug" about how Julita takes a trip to Peru and shares her experience as she tries Ayahuasca for the first time.
* Josiah and Drew will go to a ayahuasca retreat in Toronto for a future Patreon episode.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "How To Start A Retreat Business" about how everyone has an expertise and one of the best ways to share it to the world is by starting a retreat.
* World Wide Rave Mom

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "Drew, why do we do this show?"
* "The reason that I do this show is because I wanna become rich and famous as a podcaster."
* [On the topic of Justin Bieber being a celebrity but feeling unhappy] "It's ironic that he's had substance abuse issues when his name is 'Just Imbiber'. 'Just Imbibe Here'."
* [On the topic of what Drew wanted to talk about this week] "Your pecker? The bumps on your pecker? The nasty stench."
* [On the topic of World Wide Retreat being a corporate retreat instead of a vacation] "Can I -- one quick question. So you're saying the problem is that we work too much, that we need a vacation from work, but you're immediately sort of adding an HR element to --"
* "You know, what happens at the retreat stays at the retreat. You might be -- Or maybe someone wants to have a key party! Uh put their keys in a bowl. World Wide Swingers."
* "I guess the real question is: is this retreat business or pleasure? Because you're trying to tell me this is an escape from work but then you're saying that they're not allowed to swing. So what, is it business or pleasure?"
* "What if we made the first silent podcast?"
* "What if there was a sniper at the silent retreat and if you talk you get sniped?"
* "If you wrote a confession and threw it in the fire, I would risk burning myself to get it back."
* [On the topic of what you can do at a silent retreat] "They should let you play video games at the retreat."
* "The reason mushrooms are called cypsilobin is -- cy-- ps-- cause you -- because you need to be thrown in the damn 'silly bin' after you do them."
* "You know, I'm open to the idea of everyone being for-- everyone on Earth being forced to take uh psycosillybin mushrooms, but I was wondering if we could maybe also have areas of the retreat that are not specifically just drugs or meditation."
* "If a alien does a psychedelic, they might become a normal straight-laced uh human being. They might get a -- become middle management at a company or something."
* "Obviously I don't wanna become rich, because I don't wanna be lonely."
* [On the topic of Louis C.K.] "He's one of the most decorated uh comedians of all time, so say what you will about that."
* [On the topic of P-words] "Poo poo. Pee. Pussy. Pre-cum."
* "People tell me I have ayahuasca energy."
* [On the topic of Drew kissing toes] "Drew uh -- D-- Inst-- Uh it's Christmas time in Drew's hung up 'kissle'-- 'kiss-toe' in his -- 'kissletoe' in his house. So you wanna suck on toes, is what you're saying."

### Drew

* [On the topic of Justin Bieber] "Bieber is a daughter of Stephen Baldwin and niece of Alec, Daniel, and William Baldwin."
* "I think Jennifer Lawrence probably *is* a bit of a Karen. She gives Karen vibe."
* [Doing an impression of Marilyn Monroe, the original Karen, aka Karilyn Monroe] "May I talk to the manager?"
* "I'm a get money bitch."
* "But then I thought, OK, what can w-- how can we improve on a vacation? And that would be, instead of making it a vacation where you just relax or go sight-seeing and that kind of stuff, this could be a vacation where we all get together - everybody in the world - everybody gets together and we do something more akin to, like, a retreat. Like a corporate retreat, that sort of a thing. We do team building, we do all sorts of different activities to build the bonds between us, uh we can uh basically defeat all sorts of different prejudices, racial prejudices, um um um being prejudiced against, you know, people of -- being misogynist, being misandrist, um being transphobic, we can end all these things by just getting everybody together, uh doing team building exercises, uh and that sort of thing!"
* "Well, we should talk -- maybe we should talk -- World Wide Key Party might be a good idea to try later. Cause, you know, monogamous relationships can sometimes stagnate and it'd be great if we could force everybody into a key party."
* [On the topic of whether people can swing at World Wide Retreat] "Well, no, they can swing! But I'm just saying that maybe uh World Wide Swingers or World Wide Key Party could be a uh full episode on its own another day. Um some sort of World Wide Key Party. Just uh make note of that. Stick it in your back pocket. Then when we don't have a idea for a week, there you go: World Wide Key Party."
* [On the topic of what he's sorry for] "Umm everything. Everything I've ever done."
* "So imagine -- Josiah, imagine every single person in the world having um a psychedelic breakthrough on our retreat."
* [In response to someone at a psychedelic harm reduction festival retreat saying she's not from Earth] "Oh, she's not from Earth! So I guess we have to decide whether we're gonna allow aliens to uh join our retreat."
* [On the topic of their future trip to a ayahuasca retreat for an upcoming Patreon episode] "I know uh somebody who will help us trip in Toronto. And will take care of us. Yes, it's Drake."
* [On the topic of P-words] "P-words. Penis."
* "We're *all* gonna have to kiss some toes, I think, if we do this."
* [In response to Josiah saying that Drew wants to suck on toes] "Yeah! I wanna suck on -- I want everybody on the planet on a platform with their feet in the air and we're just gonna suck on their toes and that's gonna be the retreat."
* "There'll be no war if we get together and take psychedelic drugs and I start sucking on your toes. People aren't gonna want to go back to their old lives and just start shooting each other."
* [In response to Josiah's question about how to resolve any potential fights that break out while at World Wide Retreat] "I think if there's a fight, we just get rid of that person. I mean, if they're not committed to the idea of creating a new peaceful society through toe-sucking and drugs, um then maybe we should just p-- uh, you know, if we're on the -- doing the platform idea, like uh, in the middle of the ocean, just push 'em off into the ocean, get a bunch of sharks to eat 'em. Eat 'em up."
* [On the topic of what you can expect when you leave World Wide Retreat] "Your life's gonna be better, there's gonna be no war, you're gonna have met an alien, your toes are gonna be uh um -- well, they're gonna be pr-- like prunes because they're so damp and wet."

## Trivia

* This episode involved discussion of World Wide Swingers, aka World Wide Key Party, which is when everybody in the world will swing.
	+ Note: This is the second time key party swinging has come up during a conversation about having everyone in the world in the middle of the ocean, after Episode 52: World Wide Ark.
* This is the fourth episode to involve a large watercraft, after Episode 4: World Wide Potluck, Episode 19: World Wide Rock Festival, and Episode 52: World Wide Ark, and it is the third of those episodes to involve Boaty McBoatface.
* When the video version of this episode was originally uploaded, it was titled "World Wide Retreat". It has since been corrected to include the episode number in the title.
* This is the first episode with the words "World Wide" in the episode title since Episode 71: World Wide Watercooler, unless counting the abbreviated form in Episode 72: WWideas.