95.0 MHz Chat 'til You Die

"Chat 'Til You Die", also known as "CTYD Radio" or "FM 95.0" is a talk radio station hosted by ***Jason***. It is found on the FM frequency 95.0 on the Radio.

It is thought that he died after making the "pre-recorded" audio clips that play on loop throughout the day on the radio, due to the "Died of Chatting" radio segment, although all radios in the game loop so this theory wouldn't make sense.

## Radio Segments

#### "Died of Chatting"

**Transcript:**

Chat ‘Til You Die news.

(news intro music starts playing)

Today a man has been reported of chatting ‘til he died. How sad, man! Although, I like it. I like it pretty much. I mean, I do not like the fact that the guy died. I like the fact that he died because of chatting, you know? I love chatting, man, I love it too, I must say. And, he did it ‘til he died. He died what he loved best, my man.

(short party sound effect)

He died doing what he loved best, my man. And I think he was smart. They say he was smart. I think you can find his grave somewhere. You know, good man. Good chatter. He died a good death. He had a good talk. He chatted ‘til he died.

Chat ‘Til You Die. FM 95.

#### "Sex Bots"

**Transcript:**

Hey my friends, this is Jason, and this is Chat ‘Til You Die, or for short, CTYD Radio. We are going to chat ‘til we die.

I have some interesting topics that I thought would be exciting to talk about: Let’s talk about the future. What do you guys think the future will be like? Will there be flying cars, robots, or robots you can have sex with? Flying sex robots you can have flying sex with? I mean, you know, the possibilities are pretty much endless.

(short guitar interlude)

Chat ‘Til You Die.

So, the future. How mysterious. I always imagine what people in the future will be doing to have fun. We talked about the sex parts before but what are computers going to be like? Will they be smaller or bigger? What about the women, will they be smaller or bigger? Sorry, I am getting out of control again here. We all saw the movies about robots, I think they excite me the most. I mean, not in a sexual way, only in a strict technical way, you know. I think they are fascinating. Maybe one day they can make robots that look like us, that talk like us, behave like us, have sex like us. Ah, sorry again man. But hey, this is an interesting thought. Let me get into it more. Robots mating. I mean, robots producing offspring, my man. You know that will be a thing. I know it too my man. I know a lot of stuff. That’s why I run this radio station, you know, not because there is no one left alive to run it.

(electrical sound effect)

And now that we are talking about this – no one left alive – how many of you guys think that if the robots would develop consciousness that they would try to attack, kill or overthrow us? I think it’s a little far-fetched, but you know, it could happen. So, back to our main topic, robots having sex. I mean, our main topic is the future, but you know this is a really important part of it. Can you imagine robots that build each other- okay let’s forget about sex now, I know I talk too much about it. So there are two robots, they build a more advanced robot than themselves. And, you know, we have no business in this. We, we don’t even know how they built it. You know what I’m saying? And just like genetic mutations and the evolution, that robot builds another one. And that robot builds another robot, you know? Man, you know, the building process and the whole speed of this whole thing will increase exponentially, my man. This is actually pretty horrifying to think about.

(longer electrical CRT sound effect)

CTYD Radio. Chat ‘Til You Die.

#### "Face"

**Transcript:**

Oh, you wanna know why?

(mechanical steam hiss sound effect)

Chat ‘Til You Die.

I am concerned, folks, about these new rabbits. One of my colleagues said they are friendly, but I don’t know man, I just don’t like their face. You know, I never really thought about this before: do animals have faces? If you look at your cat, I mean, the same type of cat, does it have the same face as the other same type of cat, you know what I mean? Like, look at your dog. Buy another one that is the same as yours. Do they have different faces? What’s wrong with the faces of these rabbits? I don’t know, man. What’s wrong with my face? Hey, give me a mirror guys. Holy shit, who is this?! Is this me? I didn’t look at myself for so long, maybe I forgot who I am? Is it really worth to live on like this? Should I try?

Chat ‘Til You Die.

#### "Put On Your Tie"

**Transcript:**

Put on your tie and get ready to fly. Chat ‘Til You Die.

This is Chat ‘Til You Die, and I’m Jason, and I’m so happy that so many of you are listening to my show. I just literally talk, chat, and have fun with you guys – that is just about it. But still somehow I get many calls from all around the world – all around the desert – that you like my show so much. Can I ask why? Why… ha, ‘cos all of you like to chat ‘til you die.

(background music begins playing)

So today, I want to talk about politics. No, no, no, don’t get scared. I know most people find it boring, and you know what, it is! I don’t want to talk about drier politics stuff, actually, I want to talk about my view on politics, my relation to it, my friends' relations to me regarding politics. Because, you know, every time I tell them I don’t care about it they usually say “Hey, you must care about it, it’s your life you’re talking about, because you know politics affect your life, and you have to go vote and all that.” Okay, I say, fine, let’s just imagine for a second that I care. And I go vote. So, no matter who I choose, I choose the wrong one. Because then the other group of my friends who hates the guy will be like “God my man, you choose the wrong one.” Of course, if I had voted for the other one that would’ve been the bad one to my former group of friends, so you know, I always tell them “Guys listen. Things don’t change. No matter who I vote for.” but, they say, “Of course things don’t change because you don’t vote.” So it’s like a dead end. I just really hate all of this. But, what am I talking about? I didn’t had to go to vote in like 15 years. (burp, coughing)

(electrical sound effect interlude)

We don’t even have politicians now ‘cos, well, I think most of them are dead. They literally chatted ‘til they died. And to top it all off, you know what is the most weird for me? Like, all my life, [all] I ever heard was my parents and relatives complaining about our leaders. There was never a time everyone was satisfied, and there never will be. I think this is true for the past thousand years or more, I mean, some of them are, for sure, like the ones that are like them and vote for them, but you can never satisfy all of the people. And they keep coming and saying “We need change!” And after that change happens, well there is another group of people coming by saying “We need change again!” So you know, it is just pretty fucking annoying. Of course we need to improve to develop, and for that we need constant change, but let’s don’t act like it will ever stop, you know.

And I’m not too good at politics stuff. So, I always say people should do what they do best. And if I am not good at politics, why should I talk about it, why should I participate in it, I just don’t want to. And maybe it would be good that people who are also not good in it wouldn’t participate in it. That would make the world a better place, I guess. Well, if it wasn’t for the apocalypse, and let’s just imagine that we are living in the normal world. Whatever normal means.

#### "Repopulate"

**Transcript:**

Chat ‘Til You Die news.

(news intro music starts playing)

Today I have talked to a man who came to the studio, and he said that he wants to repopulate the village, and he is searching for women to do that, so he can serve mankind and repopulate the earth, you know. But, one of our female callers said that she knows the guy, and this is just a trick to get women, and this dude cannot be trusted. Still, even if it’s a trick, I think it’s a good idea. We need to repopulate the earth so I can tell you guys more news, because I think we have only a few people listening to us, sadly, and that is not good for business! Anyhow, the sun is going to shine on, it seems like it will shine on forever, and you, who is listening to this station right now, shine on my friend, and don’t forget to chat even if you are dead.

#### "Eat Some Pie"

**Transcript:**

Chat ‘Til You Die. Go and eat some pie, or get really high, while you are listening to Chat ‘Til You Die.

Hello everyone, this is Jason again, and I must say I have the best job in the whole wide world. I am just having fun, I’m talking, and I’m basically chatting with you guys, even if I don’t hear your responses. You know what would be fun? Playing games, like, like board games, or some computer games, and having tons of people just look at it. Seriously, if I could do that, that would be so amazing.

(fantasy trumpet music starts playing)

But nah it is just a fantasy, there never will be a thing like that. But in my fantasy, in my world, there is. (burp, coughing)

(electrical sound effect interlude)

Chat ‘Til You Die. If you wanna know why, raise your head up high.

Like, imagine you could get paid doing this. Like, playing video-games for money, for fame. Wouldn’t that be nice?

(electrical crash and beeping sound effect)

Chat ‘Til You Die. You like to listen to Jason, don’t you lie.

#### "End of the World"

**Transcript:**

This is Chat ‘Til You, you know, die.

(electrical manipulation sound effect and beeping)

I was wondering if, you know, if there is a special cause for this situation we are in right now, you know, this “after the end of the world” scenario. Like, did a virus do this? Did some aliens just take away most of our water, or– what happened actually? Well, no one knows for sure, but I am sure as hell going to chat about this topic– ‘til I die.

(electrical sound effect interlude)

Talking about death, most of the scientists who are still alive are saying that there are only 300,000 people left on the whole planet now. This just came in right now, and that’s, well, you know, sad, but it’s still a lot, you know, well, a lot from a certain point of view. I mean, from my point of view.

(electrical sound effect interlude)

But, still I think we should see more of them. Where are they? I know most of them got mutated so you can’t really count them as human per se, but still, I think that is a big number. But what I wanted to say is that maybe we cannot quickly repopulate the earth because we are so far away from each other, you know? And no one dares to have sex anymore, because of, you know, the viruses, and fighting over fuel, and resources; if you see a woman, you don’t make love to her, you kill her and you take her fuel and her car. And you sure as hell have to do this, because if you don’t, she’s going to do the same to you, my man. Trust me.

(electrical sound effect)

Chat ‘Til You Die.

#### "Cars"

**Transcript:**

This is Chat ‘Til You – yes – die! (d-di-die)

The future. I like to talk about the future, my man. I don’t know if I have told you that already or not, but I really do. And you know what else I love? I love cars. Like, who was the genius that invented cars? [I know I know] but I think that there was a lot of people together that invented it. I saw drawings of a 16th century, 17th century car, well it was planned at least. How amazing is that, people wanted to overcome great distances? And of course, horses were great, without horses we would not have evolved so quickly, you know. Man, how weird is that? An animal sitting, or riding on another animal to evolve, to develop. You know, and after that, cars came. Maybe the most important, most biggest achievement of mankind, like ever. We take cars for granted now, but did you guys seriously think about it sometimes? You have to respect cars, my man. They drive your wife to the hospital to give birth. Yes, even if you have a rubber wife. And yes, I know since the apocalypse this is not canon but cars- I mean trucks were used to get food from one place to another, bring it to the stores, you know. I think it’s quite amazing. But, what I would like to know is that how cars are gonna look like in the future. Will they be faster? Of course. Will they be louder? I think not. What about the shape? The forms? It is just a really interesting thing to talk about, you know. What will they be made of? Plastic, plants, some new metal. You know, the possibilities as always, are endless.

This is Jason, and you are listening to Chat ‘Til You Die.

#### "Money"

**Transcript:**

You think I’m going to lie? No way. This is Chat ‘Til You Die.

(electrical sound effect and synth music starts playing)

I am Jason and today we are going to talk about money. So, in today's world, money is, you know, pretty much not needed, as of now. But, remember how many times we used it to buy food, to buy porn magazines, to buy pretty much everything we needed? It is so crazy to think about it now that we are surviving without it, you know. Well, life is hard, I mean of course someone might come by and try to take away your car, your gas, your rubber wife, your little food that you have left, but, hey, no one is stealing your money now, right?

So I was thinking about the fact that even with those things I’ve mentioned before, life seems a little bit more easier now. I mean there are no laws, there is no money as I said, and hell, everything out there wants to pretty much kill you. But, still, I might be a douche, but I enjoy this life much better. Than I did– the one that revolved around money, you know.

But, you know, I heard rumours that you can get a beer for 3 rubber wives, or you can get a rubber wife for 3 beers, so the exchange to bartering is booming, you know. I don’t know if the life here on earth will ever get back to normal again, I don’t know if we ever have to use money again in our lifetimes…

…but I sure as hell do know that I am enjoying this life. Have a beer, and if you ever see a big stack of money, just wipe your ass with it. We don’t need it anymore.

I am not going to lie. Chat ‘Til You Die.

#### "Pig News, Big News"

**Transcript:**

This is Jason and we have an interesting news for you today; our scientists still don’t know what caused the end of the world in 1979, but some researchers in Hungary had some interesting findings. They say their new experiments show that there is another timeline and supposedly that one is the normal one, and we are living in a so-called de-real not-normal timeline. Basically, they say that something in 1979 caused the main timeline to split into two different parts; the other one went into a normal direction, into the future or something, and this one, well this one got screwed up and is stuck, basically. We cannot really do anything about this, they think, but hopefully someday we can communicate somehow with the people from the normal timeline. Now that will be interesting, right? They also said that we must be sometimes in 1988 or something but because of the flow of this time is also screwed up, they are not certain about this date. Some other news. More and more scientists are concerned that the bacon you can find in abandoned buildings is actually not good for your health, contrary to what the Hungarian Pig Apocalypse Bacon Factory says, of course. They keep saying that their food is the healthiest food you can find in these hard times, but, people said they gotten hairy after eating it, and we had a caller who said that his mom begin to make pig noises after eating two big slices of this particular brand of bacon. Then again, we should be happy that this factory still produces us something to eat. Have a (oink, oink) day.

(arcade ding noise)