A Christmas Inheritance 01: A Partridge in a Dead Tree

### Players

Joseph Chance as Edward Caister, Dominic Allen as Sidney Wagner, Dan Wheeler as Rev. Peregrine McCutcheon

## Synopsis (Spoiler Warning)

The player characters had reacquainted themselves with one another over a brandy in Cambridge yesterday evening, and were now en route to the estate which Edward has recently inherited. Edward is descended from an old family (The Caisters and Jarolds of Bury St Edmunds) but has fallen on hard times, so inheriting this property is a sort of ‘red letter day’ for him. He has invited two friends with him: Peregrine McCutcheon (a man who can talk about the provenance of a church tower and with an outstanding knowledge of botany) and ‘The Ineffable Hypnos’, Sidney Wagner (who will titillate them and satisfy their passion for the numinous). They are all excited about this trip to East Anglia- for its golf, long walks, interesting wildlife and psychical research opportunities. Edward has contacted them by letter after speaking to his and Sidney’s lawyer. Sidney has also been speaking to their lawyer about having more opportunity to do psychical research (whilst stopping by to “attend to a private legal matter”). In fact, Sidney and the lawyer, Peter Ainsworth, seem to have been “working closely together” for the last few months. A suggestion was made to use his and Peregrine’s shared skills (in psychical research and exorcism) to kill two birds with one stone- get the ghosties out from Edward’s house. The other man expresses disapproval for the idea of an exorcism- more suited to a Catholic priest and probably unnecessary. Sidney claims he has known a Methodist do it and has written about it in his book. Peregrine doesn’t mind being called Pip but would *definitely absolutely not* prefer to be called Perry. Perry is settled upon, and they toast to it.

The characters and the scenario are introduced. It is December 20th, 1891. The players are on the train from Cambridge to Little Walsingham; the listener learns that Mr Ainsworth (the lawyer, and an old school friend of the characters) is the executor of the will of Thomas Caldwell, a distant relative of Edward’s who has passed away from old age, and has informed Edward that as the sole surviving heir, he has inherited the Warham estate. Peregrine and Sidney are accompanying him on his first visit to Warham Hall where Ainsworth will show them around and sort out the final paperwork. Edward, Sidney and Peregrine have fallen asleep on the train after slightly overindulging the night before and hear a man and a woman arguing, eventually screaming at each other as the train whistle blows, jolting them awake. Upon waking, the screamed argument turns out to actually just mild annoyance. “The mind exaggerates.”

Comparisons (and criticisms) are made to the train system in Rajasthan, which is less advanced but doesn’t have to worry about disrupting the slow worm population. Sidney is interrupted by the train conductor and then the whistle and does not take kindly as ~~Dom~~ *Sidney* famously hates being interrupted mid-story. Sidney shares Pip’s conservation concerns- he himself is protective of the Bangladeshi elephants. The train pulls in to King’s Lynn and the porter brings all their luggage off the train including Sidney’s large hat box, and hails a cab for them. King’s Lynn is rural but bustling: it’s market day. Sidney dons a green and yellow striped Kufi hat and offers to lend his collection to the others. Peregrine finds his field glasses and spots a few wagtails and sparrows.

The etymology of King’s Lynn is discussed- as well as a Saxon word meaning lake and Hampshirsms. The carriage ride to Little Walsingham will take approximately an hour and a half, during which time the gang reminiscence about Rajasthan, think about its carriage system and ponder its bird life. Sidney tells Edward to “watch out for the gorse”. It is the wrong time of year for English birds, but Pip hopes they might see some Lapwings closer to the coast. They set off, with Tom Partridge, the carriage driver stopping to chat to a few locals: they are not, in fact, nearly there yet. Edward whittles, everyone’s surnames are discussed and Edward reveals he has inherited the estate. The players try to gage Partridge’s reaction to this- he seems uncertain and slightly superstitious.

About two hours after setting off, the men arrive in Little Walsingham. It is a small town with a market cross and three roads coming off it. Mr Partridge recommends the Black Lion pub for lovely hearty food and good ale for lunch, and quickly sets off back to King’s Lynn. The men go into the pub, conversing with George the proprietor and ordering three hoppy ales, a bottle of gin and three pies. They observe several snapshots of the town’s history- prize squashes, hay collecting and a distinct lack of women are noticed. Sidney muses upon moving there (looking for a glassy eyed young gentleman…). The local ale is complimented, and none of the characters are too scrupulous about where the gin comes from - Edward arranges to send a barrel of the fine ale up to the estate. After a successful psychology roll from Sidney we find the barman is surprised to learn that Edward is the heir. A further successful psychology roll from Edward finds that Sidney has found that the barman is surprised to learn that Edward is the heir. Peregrine fumbles his psychology roll and finds not that Edward has found what Sidney has found but instead that it seems Sidney and Edward are conspiring against him, gossiping behind his back just like at school. As Peregrine remarks on his affinity to the people here, George the barkeep seemingly wanders past wearing a bikini. They all eat their food, which Sidney thinks could do with some scotch bonnets (he has unfortunately left his scotch bonnet hat at home and will be unable to play golf without it). Jokes about “taking a few holes” and “having a gay old time” are made and on the subject of taking holes, Sidney inquires about Polly Ainsworth and the conversation moves to when he will be at the house, which they then set off towards.

They meet up with Adam Partridge, Tom’s son, who takes them, their luggage and their barrel of beer. Sidney changes into his Coonskin cap, and Edward inquires about golfing while Peregrine spots small groups of loitering youths on most of the street corners, and is slightly suspicious of the odd atmosphere. Adam allays his fears- the children don’t play their games until dark- but mostly they’re just bored and getting up to hijinks scaring folk and throwing things. Edward inquires whether the road is romanic, and Sidney asks about the Caldwells, who seem to keep to themselves: Adam doesn’t remember ever having seen Thomas, who has owned the hall at least since even his father was young. Peregrine catches a glimpse of a young, gaunt, red-headed face in the hedgerow. Children follow behind shouting “go up you baldhead!”: perhaps a quaint tradition, or to do with Saturnalia. Then, the horses rear up and the carriage stops- the road is blocked by a fallen tree (identified by Pip as an English Oak, and a perfect habitat for green woodpeckers); while Edward despairs slightly at the obsessions of his friends, Peregrine scans the tree for bugs and fungus, finding a gouged concentric pattern. On closer examination, it looks more like something has been used to pull the tree down, rather than some ritualistic symbols. After some deliberation and talk of woodlice, they travel quickly back through the town and find a diversion, taking a dark and bumpy cow track up to the hall. They hear a thud on the carriage and a scampering, as if the youths were throwing things at them. Peregrine shares his observations on the tree having perhaps been pulled down deliberately and the carriage is pulled over as Edward fears an ambush: Sidney shares a similar experience being scammed out of money by the manager of the Plymouth Theatre Royal- but he showed them who was boss. Adam shouts “get on home, Leaf!” and encourages the children to go home as well; the men are confused. Sidney offers to hypnotize Adam, and Pip doesn’t want to be left alone with "Wag"; at this point, Edward sees the man in the hedgerow which Peregrine noticed earlier, the children continue their chanting as Leaf runs away. Edward arms himself with a golf club, and they near the house with no further trouble as the sun sets almost completely. They approach the hall, going along the drive and seeing the nearby holly bushes, hedgerows, a huge lawn, and banks of trees while they pull up in front of the pillared statuesque front of the house.

## Important NPCs

* Peter ‘Polly’ Ainsworth
* Tom Partridge
* George, the Barkeep
* Adam Partridge

## Places

* Warham Hall- a country estate of 1387 acres with a Jacobean style house, north east of the village of Little Walsingham
* Little Walsingham
* King’s Lynn
* Cambridge

## Trivia

* Sidney mentions eight different hats within the episode: a Kufi, a Deerstalker, a Coonskin cap, a Turban, a Capuchon, a Gargush,a Gaucho’s hat and a Scotch Bonnet which he has notably forgotten.

1. ↑ A phrase borrowed by Joseph from M. R. James’ *Mr Humphreys and His Inheritance*.
2. ↑ A face also dramatically peeps out of a bush in M. R. James' *The Rose Garden*.
3. ↑ A character taken and re-adapted by Danann from Thomas Hardy’s *Under the Greenwood Tree*.
4. ↑ Warham Hall is probably inspired by Mr Humphrey's hall in Wilsthrope, in M. R. James' *Mr Humphreys and His Inheritance*.