LLR Observer 8

Lads and ladies, I am Gabe Seltzer (BAYBAY) and the LLR Observer is officially back in action. I've been traveling all across the globe for the past 26 days, going to different promotions like Pro Predicting Guerrilla, Reddit of Honour, New Reddit Pro Predicting, PROGRESS Predicting, Revolution Pro Predicting. Hell I even sat down for a show of Global Force Predicting/ TNA/ Impact Predicting. During this time, I have seen some great matches (Tenny Alpha Vs Kamuzika Dokata) and some poor matches (Tinder Mahall Vs Dandy Boreton) and I have missed LLR dearly so I have returned. The Observer will be back on its weekly Sunday schedule with the Radio coming in on Wednesday with the match ratings.

So without further ado,

THIS WEEK IN LLR

* u/god\_of\_havoc has finally struck gold. Twice! The man who I touted to be key in the future of this place won his first Hardcore Championship at The Crash, pinning u/hydraloonie like a broken monorail. He quickly lost the title to u/Bahamas\_is\_(finally)\_relevant. The man behind the hot-potato title finally got to place his lemon-stained fingers on the belt. A glorious moment! And then Bahamas got beat for it at Death before Dishonour by God Of Havoc yet again….
* Courtesy u/IamtheP1, we now have the first LLR console game with the artist known as u/TheFalconArrow on its covers. This one wasn't a work people. He didn't do it for heat. Errm, excuse my lack of professionalism, the holiday mood has got the best of me.
* u/GryffindorTom, our resident fanfic friendly, avada-kedavraing, buffet munching and troubled brother decided to hold business meetings with u/The-Protectorate, a vicious paid fighter. Why does Mr. Protectorate looks so much like ol’ Tommy. Just you know, observing.
* Destruction happened in Hiroshima (that's a very bad name.. Why would you do this u/TheCivilizedGamer?) in a fun show which I caught up on the LLR Network. u/TheDezoo Vs u/Immathrodis was solid. And why are ManUtd beating on Demonesses on this card?
* u/Steve\_Chandler\_ shot hard on LLR. Now I had to dissect this promo. Steve wasn't the a guy expected to go sour so quickly. And after the dissection, I have decided to knock 4 stars off his IQ score. He decides to accept my fellow journo u/PredictionCulture’s call for ‘jobbers’. And now he's complaining about being a jobber. That's like u/LMonkA7X being annoyed at being called a Doctor. You chose the title, young lion.
* u/TheFalconArrow wants a US Title shot. Does he have a Cena-In-The-Bank too?
* u/Simashi keeps spitting fire. The knly way you can erase all that sweetness is by eating lemons. He has had to eat a lot of lemons. That's it! Anyways...he demanded an opponent for No Mercy since his former opponent abdicated. That opponent is the number one on LLR20, u/SlowbroJJ. Sweet! I mean sour..
* u/the\_gift\_of\_g2j announced that his match with u/InsaneIcon will be a straight-jacket match. The rules are bizzare and well, I'm already counting the stars. In the sky, I meant.
* Former General Manager of the now obsolete UK Division, u/King-Of-Zingannounced a huge unofficial tournament for WCPW Refuse To Lose. A lot of good first round matches in the bracket with the u/ThePruef Vs u/Mlgbonghits4 and u/SlowbroJJ vs u/InsaneIcon slugging it out. A must watch.
* u/TheUltimateMark’s revival (say yeah!) has been clouded with confusion. He doesn't seem to remember how he was killed and who his friends are and that confusion is hurting his brain cells. Someone give him a hug.
* Throdis-Man and Gameboy is an extremely interesting series between the Raw GM and the NJPW GM. I can't explain it all here so go check the entire series out, ya numpties!
* u/ALLHISWORDSAREBOLD came out with BOLD predictions. What? You can't expect predictions in italics from him, can you?
* u/Mig362 appeared outta nowhere and dropped a promo consisting of just 12 words. Let's how many words he's got next time.
* u/TheFalconArrow likes gold. And he now has ‘Boys’ serving him. The original ace is becoming flamboyant. Will he and the ‘Boys’ contest for the 6 Man Titles? Reddit of Honour will like a word.
* In the biggest news of the week, u/Ontheropes619 joined the Fashion Police. “He took their gimmick, maggle”. Yada Yada. He's going fucking over and you'll remember to not wear jean shorts if ya don't want OTR slapping you with a ticket.
* u/thegamerwhohelps has been left behind. From the card. Again. How can you let such a great talent off your cards like that? He's a fantastic promo. Popular with kids. He's got that hot sauce too. Make him a star, LLR management. What concerns me is how joining Born Ready has done nothing for his career. Moreover, it's felt like a step back. If the leader of that stable will chase the worse title in the company, how do other members fare?
* u/King-Of-Zing is no more a demon after having errm, a fight with u/We\_Are\_Collective. Her demon was ripped off her and she's back to being the weed smokin’ rebel heart. She can't transform into trees anymore : (
* u/LLRSwagMaster69Weed has arrived and he brings the fucking swag. His promo consisted of a little more words than Mig but for all you common folk, TL;DR He brings the fucking swag.
* My favourite Tommen Baratheon, err, u/GryffindorTom, has started the LLR Cookery contest. The first episode will feature his goddamn brother who wants to wreck him…. I'm seeing a foodfight here folks. Keep your subscriptions of the Observer active because we'll tell you the identity of the man who'll throw the pie on Tommy's face.
* The super talented journalist of LLR, u/TheBulletWithaName returns with another edition of In My Sights. Careers have been made on this show. Watch it. It.
* There's a goddamn betting odd tracker here. u/TheBettingTracker appeared. I warned Management when the Nintendo Shill arrived and harassed talent backstage. Now this… to top it all. He'll be conducting interviews too. Watch them...I guess
* u/InsaneIcon is back to posting creepy photos. More on this in the Inside Scoops section.
* u/hydraloonie is now a superhero. He has a legit Loony Cave. You ever have your kitty trapped in trees? Dial 1800-LOONY, fella. Ever have bad breath before a date? Dial 1800-LOONY. He'll be there.
* u/the\_gift\_of\_g2j seems to be undergoing a midlife crisis. You know, like your dad who misses his old basketball hooping days. The ending was worth noting though. It was the tease of G2J, things are freshening up, maaaaaan?
* u/PhenomenalInferno debuted, asking for a mentor to guide him. Who picked him up? The cops. The ever-growing Fashion Police is now a stable. To all those who wear non-leather jackets, you've been warned.
* u/TheFalconArrow’s demands continue with him now lining up for a Hardcore Championship match.
* u/TheBulletWithaName organised the Bullet’s Aussie Blitz event, in which u/YourbuddyChurch, u/TheFalconArrow and u/hydraloonie scored victories. They'll face off against each other in the next Blitz for Bullet’s very own tub of Vegemite. C..can I have some too?

Inside Scoops:

* u/King-Of-Zing had her Twitter account details stolen by the Demoness. Now that clarifies a lot of things. The Demoness's promos were exceptionally good and highly unlike the original Zing. This just shows that the Demoness was actually a different person. Illuminati, much??!
* u/InsaneIcon is suffering from Zing-gimmicky-vitus, a deadly disease that forces the patient to continuously change their gimmicks. We reported that Great Khali was seen backstage when u/shriramrishi was about to become the Icon. Well, it's clear that the recent photos are a sign that he'll be appearing at No Mercy on a flying carpet wearing a turban. The Modern Day MahIcon…
* We have received word that u/Trucker1028 has actually wrapped up his first movie. He's used the money to buy a new truck and will be searching for gold in Alaska. He's doing it for the Rock. I mean, the gold rocks.
* The recent merch sales have shown a weird change. u/Simashi merch was selling big time until he ate those lemons. The current trend has shown that Simashi has fallen behind u/MrCappie in merch sales. The two time champion's departure has made fans join in to help support him collectively. No word on any u/GryffindorTom mugs as of now. On a side note, the ‘BOLD IS GOLD’ T-shirt has recently been well received.

Young Lions to watch out for

* u/Mig362
* u/LLRSwagMaster69Weed

Match of the week: u/TheDezoo Vs u/Immathrodis Destruction in Hiroshima- 4.25 stars

Segment of the week: The Fashion Force’s “The Oath”