Azauct

[Pictured from left to right] Azauct (Taking a shit), Charmin (Ultra Strong)

Azauct [pronounced: Ah-Lan] (known as El Mantenido until recently as he was stripped of his title by Jhonawife) spends his days not sleeping, playing Pokemon Unite, or rolling waifus on MudaeBot.

## Alan "Azauct" Carlos

### Life and Work

He was born to the most beautiful woman in the world, Navidad, and the most handsome man in the universe, Ramiro. The clash of attractiveness lead his body to produce the irresistible aroma known as Zukma. This is a double edged sword however, as it has also made him an autistic child. Previously Azauct used to live the mantenido life. He had no job, didnt go to school, and withered away on his couch 24/7. This all changed when the fire nation attacked.

### Highschool

After middle school, Alan decided to join YES Prep where he unfortunately passed away for a few weeks. He later returned, however, and graduated silver II elo in his class, but somehow met Kayla Rodriguez, whom he later rekindled a relationship with, as well as all his current friends.

### Post Highschool

Kayla led him astray with promise of good pussy and mantenido status in order to lure him to move in with her and her roommate Mattie in Austin. His mantenido status has since been revoked and he held a bronze elo position at a local Starbucks for some time. Although he hates working, he hates not having someone to have sex with even more and living with two women allows him the luxury of daily threesomes. Azauct thus reluctantly continues to work.

In 2019 Azauct moved back to the H with Kayla. He was transferred to a different Starbucks where he continued to hold a low tier position and in tandem lost his daily threesome bonus. However, Azauct and Kayla acquired a wild Abdiel who cooks for them daily in exchange for sexual services from either Kayla or Azauct.

### Post Starbucks

Azauct was fired from Starbucks by a fellow worker. He has since acquired a new job and is now rolling in dough. This would be short lived however, seeing as how near the end of 2020 Azauct contracted the by then not so novel Coronavirus after a one night stand with his girlfriend. Regrettably, Azauct passed away for two weeks due to Covid, during which he played many TFT games and learned the art of going on perpetual breaks to maximize profits from his job.

## Controversies

### Catfishing

In 2015 Azauct was caught catfishing. He had assumed the identity of a woman going by Abby and wooed Kike with his charms. He uncovered himself in an incident after a steamy sex session with Kike, where he forgot to cover his tail. Kike recognized it and immediately called their relationship off.

### Money

Alan owes Jose money but it will never be paid. He also is a known kleptomaniac and most definitely on the spectrum, as seen by his inability to properly control his own strength.

### O.P.E.R.A.T.I.O.N A.L.A.N

A top secret Mission that involves Azauct and his ties to the Company known as Starbucks It involves him infiltrating their lowest rank, and moving his way up the ladder in order to influence stocks that Javs has invested in. He has started the racial revolution in Starbucks, as well as writing the racial awareness manifesto which took place in May 29, 2018. He has been unable to move up the ranks, and thus despite the temporary success of the operation, it is still ongoing.

In 2019 prospects looked good with Azauct's transfer to a Starbucks in the H. With the intel learned from Austin's Starbucks it should have been a walk in the park to take over Houston Starbucks chain. However, Azauct's lack of sleep and determination foiled his own plan, and the operation has been put on hold.

Since Azauct's firing from Starbucks due to the Novel Coronavirus OPERATION ALAN has unfortunately been discontinued.

## Achievements

Mathematics Degree

All time high Silver II Elo in League

Friend of Mike Smith

First member of Tokyo.TV to catch Covid

## Trivia

Azauct was born with a tail.

Azauct tends to leave his women with a string of his irresistible aroma, leading his friends to commit sloppy second, and even sloppy third class infractions to the bro code.

Azauct, against appearances, does not actually have two working legs. He is an amputee and his other leg is just his constantly erect penis, which supports him better than those who love him.