Rohan's Campaign

*"Maybe it wasn't meant to be."*This article contains or refers to content that is cancelled, scrapped or left indefinitely unfinished.

## Rohan's Campaign

### Played Through

November 19th, 2021 - December 3rd, 2021 (date of cancellation)

### Players

Chris-tian Mothman FennekinGalaxy Wavier\_Microbe Lexbomb6464

### Next Campaign

Travescot

**Rohan's Campaign**, also known as **The Alien Campaign**, was the first campaign held by the members of Flafa. It lasted from November 19th, 2021, to December 3rd, 2021, getting cancelled shortly thereafter. It was the first campaign DM'ed by AmberLoha. It featured Chris-tian Mothman as Cyrus, FennekinGalaxy as Gnorbitt, Lexbomb6464 as Javier Pizarro II, and Wavier\_Microbe as Microbe.

## Storyline

### Session 1: Starting Out (11/8/2021):

Starting characters: Cyrus, Gnorbitt, Microbe

The party opens in a tavern, with a job request from the mayor of a nearby town. The party all has drinks, and get so plastered they arm wrestle the other drunkards.

Microbe wins his first round and loses his second.

Cyrus and Gnorbitt lose their first rounds.

The party takes a short rest through the night and rest off their drinks.

The party goes to a nearby unnamed human town that hates gnomes and elves. They then enter a nearby armor and weapons shop.

The party buys Potions of Greater Healing and a new set of armor for Gnorbitt.

The party accepts a side quest to collect herbs. They go along a path to the next town, in which they encounter some aliens. The party loots the aliens after their deaths, finding a broken blaster and an alien dagger.

The party takes a short rest and encounters some bandits after they awaken. They kill the bandits and fail to loot their bodies. The party arrives in an unnamed dwarven town that hates elves. Cyrus stands outside of town because of the blatant racism. Gnorbitt and Microbe attempt to sell the blaster, and get arrested and locked in a cell. Gnorbitt and Microbe plea to be released, and succeed, but not without suspicion. Gnorbitt and Microbe investigate local mines where a large alien was killed, and find nothing. The party is kicked out of the dwarven town.

Gnorbitt and Microbe finally go to the main town, also unnamed, wherein they talk to the mayor. The duo asks about the job offer, and reads the contract. After reading that the payment was not what was said, the duo angrily (and rather rudely) refuses, landing them in another cell.

### Session 2: Amogus (11/12/2021):

Starting Characters: Cyrus, Gnorbitt, Microbe, Javier Pizarro II

The mayor is retconned to not be a scammer, and instead is legitimate about the offer. He helps prepare the party for their next journey, giving them supplies to complete the voyage.

The party starts gathering supplies to raid the “alien ship”, buying various goods. They start an encounter with a possessed armor that grows into 2 possessed armors and one possessed lizard man. Upon defeat, the second armor explodes, dealing damage to Microbe post-battle.

Gnorbitt obtains a mysterious note from one of the armors.

Gnorbitt reads the note, finding the spaceship’s location, master, and the wizard that sent the possessed minions. The spaceship is currently invisible. The note burns up after reading. The party takes a short rest before setting out on the path specified in the note. They follow a trail of blood to a river. Cyrus goes on a short fishing trip and catches a bass. The party investigates the area around them. Javier Pizarro II talks to the river, and it tells him that a spaceship made a hole in the river. Microbe dives into the deepest part of the river, and finds out there’s no water. He seems to be floating. The rest of the party joins in.

Microbe decides to fight Cyrus. Cyrus eventually calms him down with no hits landed. The party returns to investigating the barrier. Gnorbitt casts Shield and falls through the barrier, falling unconscious upon hitting the bottom. Microbe and Cyrus stab the barrier and push them and Javier Pizarro II through. However, by the time they hit the bottom, Gnorbitt has disappeared. The rest of the party goes down into the sinkhole, and goes into an alien structure.

They are confronted with three doors:

- One that is bloody, scarred and emanating a faint smell of feces

- A regular door

- A very large door

The party goes through the regular door, finding a doglike creature in a blanket that is very shadowy that flees when they enter. The party finds a moaning creature in the bed after the doglike thing leaves. Blood is seeping out of the bed, coming from the many wounds the creature is covered in, including a broken leg with exposed bone. Microbe stabs the creature in its spine. It is revealed to be Gnorbitt, who is now paralyzed from the waist down. The party continues deeper into the spaceship.

### Session 3: Dragon Titties (11/19/2021):

Starting Characters: Cyrus, Gnorbitt, Microbe, Javier Pizarro II

Cyrus stays with Gnorbitt to protect him, while Microbe and Javier Pizarro II leave to explore. Javier Pizarro II and Microbe go through the first door to find some sort of dark labyrinth. Microbe stays behind. Javier Pizarro II finds a creature after consuming all of his torches, and discovers a dragon lurking within the area. He attempts to flee, and then prays to his god of swords, manifesting a giant sword that he rides away on and uses to stab the dragon, tearing its skin. The dragon spits fire, mostly missing Javier Pizarro II, but his left arm has been completely melted off. Javier Pizarro II retrieves the sword and starts to flee, running in zig zags. The dragon squishes Javier Pizarro II’s right leg, tearing it off.

Gnorbitt contacts the dragon with Message and sends him, Microbe and Cyrus down the hall to fight the dragon. The party arrives to see the mangled body of Javier Pizarro II being beaten by the dragon.

Microbe attempts to seduce the dragon, but the dragon vores him instead. Gnorbitt seduces the dragon instead and gets the information about the wizard. The dragon heals Javier Pizarro II back to full health and limbage, as well as removing Gnorbitt's paralysis. Cyrus throws Gnorbitt in between the dragon’s breasts, and the dragon proceeds to take the holy sword and Gnorbitt under a hatch, wherein the dragon has sex with Gnorbitt for 3 straight hours.

### Session 4: The Bop It One (11/26/2021):

Starting Characters: Cyrus, Gnorbitt, Javier Pizarro II

Gnorbitt receives a Legendary Bop It. The party asks the dragon questions about the room and the environment, with Javier Pizarro II asking the dragon if water is wet, subsequently getting a kick in the balls in response. The party returns to the main room, opens the poopy door, and finds an empty void. Cyrus enters the door and disappears. Javier Pizarro II yells into the door, the only responses being banging sounds and water dripping. Gnorbitt sends Cyrus a message to ask about what he sees, but there’s no response; at least, not from Cyrus. Gnorbitt’s message was intercepted. Gnorbitt runs through the barrier, waving his arms to dispel the illusion. Javier, who is still outside, can see through the barrier, but not hear what is inside. Javier opens a trapdoor on the ceiling, which releases a ladder that falls to the floor. Gnorbitt climbs up into the hatch, and throws Javier Pizarro II a rope. Javier cannot fit through the hatch. Gnorbitt asks the Legendary Bop It for help, and, upon failing its game, watches the Legendary Bop It disappear, leaving a note behind.

This Bop It is actually Muhammad Ali, Jr.. The note says “Fuck y’all guys. Go eat a dick.”

### Session 5: The Slime Starts Cripp-Walking (12/03/2021):

Starting Characters: Cyrus, Gnorbitt, Javier Pizarro I

Gnorbitt opens in the room with the cryostasis chamber with the Dragonborn inside. He finds a few footprints headed towards a giant vent. He goes into the vent, hearing strange sounds, and finds a slime with a comically large spoon inside of it. The vent locks shut promptly. Gnorbitt casts Shield and tries to jump through the slime, getting himself stuck. He grabs the comically large spoon and uses his torch to light the slime on fire. He escapes with the spoon. Gnorbitt fights the slime. It starts crip-walking and pulling out multiple firearms, particularly a Glock-19 and a minigun. Gnorbitt casts several spells, damaging the vent pretty harshly in the process. The slime is killed.

Gnorbitt receives the slime’s Air Force Jordans.

Gnorbitt tries to progress through the vent, but falls and is knocked unconscious.

Javier Pizarro II is still in the lower chamber. He proceeds to the next room, to not find much of anything. He finds a slimy creature that is incredibly scared of him. He attempts to put food on the ground for the creature. It eats the food, but it does not eliminate its fear of him. The creature eventually warms up to him however.

Javier Pizarro II finds a book called Climbing A Ladder for Dummies. He reads it and learns all of its knowledge. He uses this knowledge to find the cryostasis room.

Javier Pizarro II enters the vent Gnorbitt fell out of. He attempts to leave the vent, but is locked in. Javier Pizarro II heals himself. He tries to throw something to see the depth of the hole in the vent. He enters a strange area with a strange banging and a strange light.

## Notable Memes

* Muhammad Ali Jr. the Bop It, and his infamous catchphrase, "fuck y'all guys, go eat a dick" became a recurring meme.

## Trivia

* Rohan's Campaign is the first campaign DM'ed by AmberLoha.
* Rohan's Campaign is the first campaign for Flafa D&D.
* Rohan's Campaign was the first and only campaign held in 2021.
* This campaign is the debut of AmberLoha, Chris-tian Mothman, Lexbomb6464, FennekinGalaxy, and Wavier\_Microbe in Flafa D&D.
* Rohan's Campaign was the first campaign to end without being completed. The second is Floors of Serventent.