Square Mom

“Penis.”

-Mrs. Hill

"**Square Mom**" is the second episode of the Fox animated television series *King of the Hill*. It was written by

## Synopsis

Jack returns home from school with a permission slip. Whyatt scolds Jack when he realizes the school is seeking permission to send his son to a Sex Ed class. He and Mom agree that "the birds and the bees" should be taught at home. But Whyatt quickly nominates Mom, who was recently voted Substitute Teacher of the Year, to do the honors. With great trepidation, Mom approaches her son and broaches the subject of sex. When Jack mentions the word "penis," Jack goes blank and leaves the room. Left with little choice, Whyatt decides he will teach his son the same way his own father instructed him: by watching animals mate at a local dairy farm. But Whyatt is horrified to realize that, through a miracle of modern technology, cows are inseminated by machine. Whyatt and Mom have a change of heart and decide the topic is best left in the hands of professionals. But when the high school's Sex Ed teacher resigns after Whyatt's friend Red phones in an anonymous death threat, Mrs is drafted to teach the class.

Mom prepares for the job by reading a variety of books on the subject. Word of her new position spreads quickly, and the entire family becomes the target of derogatory remarks. The perceived "dirtiness" of mom's task even affects her love life, as Whyatt recoils after she suggests they have sex. While preparing for the class, mom musters the courage to blurt out the word "vagina." Fed up, Whyatt tells Mom he will not sign the permission slip (which requires both parents' signatures)

Whyatt takes Jack to work with him on the day Mom is scheduled to teach the Sex Ed class, thus exposing him to the casual sexism of the workplace. While discussing the touchy subject matter with his son, Whyatt defends mom's use of words describing the human anatomy and suddenly realizes how courageous his wife truly is. He brings Jack to school and allows him to attend the Sex Ed class. Meanwhile, Mom, nervous and tentative, enters the classroom and addresses the students. Just when she was going to break, Whyatt and Jack enter the classroom which gives Mom confidence to teach Sex Ed. Sadly, every kid did not get their permission slips signed and nobody was left to teach except Jack. But even with that, Mom still teaches Jack about Sex Ed.

## Characters

* Whyatt Hill
* Mrs. Hill
* Mr. Hill
* Jack Hill
* Cora Dlatter
* Widget Dlatter
* Red Gribble
* Tiffany Gribble
* Pig Dauterive
* Gene Kill
* Ted Bobby *(debut)*

## Trivia

* This episode was nominated for the 1990 Emmy Award for Outstanding Animated Program (For Programming One Hour or Less).
* First appearance
* First appearance of Whyatt's workplace - Strickland Propane.
* This is not the only time that the word "penis" becomes part of the dialogue in the show. In Season "Bwah My Nose", one of the patients in the plastic surgeon's waiting room informs Whyatt, who's been obsessing about not damaging his nose after having it fixed, "I used to have a penis."
* When mom reluctantly enters Jack's room to have an educational talk about the "facts of life" with him, it can clearly be heard in the background from Jack's television, that Jack is watching a real life children's television show.
* Whyatt points out that the permission slip must be signed by both parents. This leaves out children who live in one parent household or may not live with their parents.
* While Whyatt is driving Jack to

## Errors

* When mom is shouting sexual body parts in the mirror at one point she shouts, "Uvula!" The uvula is actually the thing that hangs down in the back of the throat and is obviously not used in the reproductive process. However, she may have had it confused with "vulva".