302: So Profound, and Yet So Unhelpful

## Summary

Sailing back to Beartoggle, the party are reunited with Sheemie, Bernard and their pets, finding that the hotel has been replaced with a large houseboat. Rosco confidently offers to guide them to their next stop at Gully's End, those he's somewhat enigmatic when it comes to precisely what means of transport they'll use. First though, Raphina takes everyone for an audience with the Desert Mothers.

## Synopsis

   Raphina is able to locate a craft store in the miniature Tivoli inside her terrarium, and plucks out a tiny pair of googly eyes for Rudy. Mo urges everyone to board the boat and they sail into Beartoggle, noting that at first glance everything looks much the same, except that the river is now nice and wide, meaning that a lot of the buildings they'd previously seen close to the bank are no longer there. One such building is their destination, the hotel, which has actually been replaced by a large houseboat, moored near the bank, complete with calliope music.

Sheemie's waiting for them on the boat hotel and he reveals he has dual memories of how things were when they arrived and also how they are now. He says he's got all their stuff in the hotel room they're all sharing. They dock their boat right on the hotel, sending Rosco into a nostalgic reverie about a game he used to play as a child called *Dock Dock Caboose*. He reveals that it was playing this game at the circus which ultimately led to his romantic liaison with Tanya, and subsequently the accidental murder of her father, the ringmaster.

In their room, they're reunited with dog Rosco and Bernard, who's concerned to hear Will's news about Tivoli being gone, wondering if his family and kids are ok. When Will notices that Batthwack's listening to this, he trolls the dragonborn by transforming briefly into his standard mockery of Batthwack's daughter. After a questioning from Will, Sheemie also reveals that gnomes exist, or at least he knows about them.

Rosco recaps what they know about the situation in Six Rivers: *"There are these slivers of a large, indifferent, but also malevolent, extra planar force. They've punched through into our reality in five different towns."* Rosco's been to all the towns, so he offers to help guide everyone to each one, especially since he no longer wants to stay in Beartoggle. Raphina says she really wants to consult with the Desert Mothers before they leave. Batthwack wonders if the Sooty Gang is still here, retrieving a knife from his pack that he'd taken from one of the gang members, half expecting it to have disappeared. Will suggests the gang might still exist, but perhaps with a different origin story.

The group change into dry clothes and briefly they consider hijacking the houseboat for their own personal adventuring vessel. They learn that the guy in charge of the houseboat is one Ricardo Odysseus, who also happened to be the alter ego of the confabulation-prone bellhop they'd met. Rosco seems confident in the lay of the land and suggests they travel overland to Gully's End first, and when Will questions what mode of transport he has in mind, Rosco simply says, *"I got us covered for that."* Will feels very doubtful about this, but it's fine, Mo trusts him. It's agreed that they should all accompany Raphina to visit the Desert Mothers in Old Bear first.

When they arrive in Old Bear, the party enter the huge round stone amphitheatre and see Aunt Bootie and Great Aunt Tootie at the centre, reclining on chaise lounges and passing a cigarette back and forth between them, just as Raphina expected. She waves down to them and Aunt Bootie calls up to her angrily, *"Raphina Phalangepot! How did it take you so long to come visit us!"* *"I've been in a different dimension! I'm sorry, auntie!"* Raphina calls back, and scurries down a nearby rope ladder to meet them.

Raphina tells them that she's an adventurer now and asks what insight the Desert Mothers have on the troubles they've experienced. Great Aunt Tootie advises her not to doubt her own experiences, saying, *"Whatever your experience is, is what's true."* Great Aunt Tootie takes something of a shine to Will, who is acting surprisingly reverently, kneeling to accept a cigarette offered to him. He takes a drag and finds it isn't tobacco, immediately feeling lightheaded and relaxed. Raphina's feeling the need to get going, but Aunt Bootie demands she stay and explain herself.

## Quotes

* Rosco: *"Growing up I remember playing a game called Dock Dock Caboose."* Mo: *"Was it fun?"* Rosco: *"No, it was incoherent because docks and cabooses aren't even in the same family of things."*
* Sheemie: *"My mom was lame. She just wanted to run a business and be successful. Didn't want to have any fun."* Will: *"That sounds not lame. That sounds successful."*
* Rosco: *"We'll see about that, Mr Sheemie."* Sheemie: *"Mr* Puzzlemaster*... Puzzlemaster until proven guilty."* Raphina: *"Puzzlemaster until proven stupid."*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Raphina's response to Great Aunt Tootie's advice. When asked to make sense of all the trouble the party has been experiencing, Great Aunt Tootie said *"Well, I think you can just potentially think that whatever your experience is, is what's true."* Raphina: *"Oh, it's so profound and yet so unhelpful! Thank you, Aunt Tootie!"*
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: pearlescent.

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*

## References

1. ↑ Adam asks if the dam keys were left behind and Abby suggests they dissolved, which is indeed correct. The keys disappeared after they had been used to unlock the dam door. See episode 293: Fins, Gills, Angles, Scales, Eyes, Fins, Dorsal Pieces and Teeth
2. ↑ For more info on Bernard's family, see episode 290: Between "Gaping" and Other Things
3. ↑ See episode 299: Like a Zen Rake
4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 See episode 275: Am I Ever Gonna Make Any Friends?