Serious Tingling

### Characters (in order of appearance)

The Commander, Space Tree, Mee, Allon, Tarbob, Tarmex, Ghost Spider, Random McPerson, Kidnapper

## Credits

### Credits

none

Space Tree dies. OR DOES HE? No.

## Transcript

*(Fades into the intruder detekter)*

*(The Commander pushes a button on it)*

**COMMANDER:** Look out Space Tree, there's something coming in from the starboard bow!

**SPACE TREE:** Uh oh! My Space Tree sense is tingling!

*VOICE: Space Tree sense is tingling! Tingling good- (A circle encloses Space Tree and rotates once)*

**SPACE TREE:** Wait a minute, there's no such thing as Space Tree sense. I gotta get this checked out.

*(Cut to ~~Space Tr~~Mee's Office)*

**MEE:** Well Space Tree, according to my "Diagnoses" *(Mee makes air quotes)*, that tingle you felt was an unremovable space tumor.

**SPACE TREE:** Yeah right-

**MEE:** Damnit man, this is a serious situation! You have 24 hours to live.

**SPACE TREE:** My god.

**MEE:** Just between you and me, I'm not actually a real doctor, y'know. I just stole this thing from that guy who plays Dr. House. I don't even know what it's for.

**SPACE TREE:** Why do the good always die so young.

**MEE:** Probably because you're so fat.

*(Screen wipe to new area, Commander is walking in.)*

**SPACE TREE:** Commander thanks for meeting me here. I'm afraid I've got some BAD news.

**COMMANDER:** Yeah, I heard, Space Tree. Dr. Marone just told me. He was all like 'Space Tree has a space tumor' and I was like *(Modified voice)* 'It's not a tumor'. Heh. And then he said it looks like it's hasta la vista for Space Tree. Heh. Y'know? They're quotes from that movie-

**SPACE TREE:** Damnit man, this is a serious situation. I only have 24 hours left to live.

**COMMANDER:** Well that doesn't mean you cant enjoy a good Schwarzenegger reference. 'You're not sending me to the cooler'.

**SPACE TREE:** SCREW YOU AND SCREW YOUR SCHWARZENEGGER IMPRESSION! AND SCREW ALLON! *(Space Tree walks away)*

**COMMANDER:** Gee whiz, what's THAT guy's problem?

**ALLON:** Don't you get it, Commander? Space Tree only has 24 hours left to live.

**COMMANDER:** Yeah, but what's that supposed to mean?

**ALLON:** He's gunna die.

**COMMANDER:** N\*\*ga what!?

*Screen wipe to a new room*

**MEE:** Space Tree, I've taken the liberty of writing up this will for you. So if you'll just sign here it'll all be nice and legal.

**WILL:** *(Written, not spoken)* It all goes to Mee Marone. Except for the pizzas. I don't need the carbs. Word. Signed.\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

**SPACE TREE:** *(Signs the document)* Fine, whatever.

**MEE:** Wow, that was pretty easy.

**COMMANDER:** *(Walks in)* Space Tree! I just found out that having 24 hours left to live means you're gunna DIE in 24 hours!

**SPACE TREE:** Well, I always thought you were the smart one in the class.

**COMMANDER:** Thanks, Space Tree. But now, I've got a surprise for you. *(Backs out of view. The Tars roll in.)*

**TARBOB:** Hi there, I'm Rafael Tarbob.

**TARMEX:** And I'm the other guy.

**TARBOB:** And we're here from the Requisition A Wish foundation. *(As he says "Requisition A Wish", the letters on his button light up)*

**TARMEX:** We've come here today to grant your dying wish. You lucky son of a bitch.

**TARBOB:** So what do you say, Mr. Tree? Requisition a wish and we'll grant it!

**SPACE TREE:** OK then, I wish that the both of you would frick off.

**TARBOB:** *(Pause)* You got it. *(The Tars roll out.)*

**COMMANDER:** You're welcome, Space Tree.

*(Yet another room, presumably some time has passed)*

**SPACE TREE:** Well everyone, my last 24 hours alive have been just as much fun as the other 223,214 hours. But now its time for me to go.

**COMMANDER:** By 'go' you mean die, right?

**SPACE TREE:** Yeah. So long, Commander. Thanks for granting my dying wish.

**COMMANDER:** Hasta la vista, Space Tree. *(Leaves, crying)*

**SPACE TREE:** *(Walks over to GS)* Bye, Ghost Spider. I know I always gave you a hard time, but y'know, deep down, I always wanted you to get the hell off my ship.

**GHOST SPIDER:** OK. *(He walks off)*

**SPACE TREE:** *(Walks over to Random McPerson)* And as for you, well, I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better.

**RANDOM MCPERSON:** I feel the same way.

**SPACE TREE:** Man, not much of a turn out at my final goodbye thing, is there. I mean not even Phillip Seymore Horseman showed up-

**RANDOM MCPERSON:** Get on with it!!

**SPACE TREE:** Alright, Alright! On the count of 3, I'll be dead. 1, 2-- *(A TV drops down)*

**KIDNAPPER:** *(From the TV)* Hello there, Space Tree! We meet again!

**SPACE TREE:** What, am I supposed to know you or something?

**KIDNAPPER:** It may interest you to know THIS! I have kidnapped your unremovable space tumor! So what do you have to say about that!

**SPACE TREE:** Uh, thanks?

**MEE:** Wait a minute, Space Tree! I was just going over my, uh, XRAYs, and it turns out the thing inside you wasn't even a tumor! *(Holds up Space Tree's "XRAY" (see top of the article for picture.))* It was just your brain. And its a shame too, because I was all ready to slice it out with this thing I stole from the set of 'nip tuck'. *(Produces scalpel)*

**KIDNAPPER:** Damnit man, this is a serious situation! He did so have a tumor! And I've got it right here! See? *(Holds up Allon)*

**SPACE TREE:** No no, that's not a tumor, that's just Allon.

**KIDNAPPER:** Oh. Well I've got no use for this. *(Points a revolver at Allon)*

**SPACE TREE:** Hold on Kidnapper. There's no need for that. Just send him back here and I'll cover the postage costs.

**KIDNAPPER:** Well then what the hell am I gunna do with this bullet?? Oh, I know. *(Puts gun in mouth, cut to the Commander, we hear the gunshot from off-screen)*

**COMMANDER:** Wow Space Tree, you're going to pay for shipping AND handling? You must feeling pretty generous now that you're not dying.

**SPACE TREE:** That's right, Commander. My near death experience has given me a new outlook on life. *(Now in sunglasses)* From this day forward I'm going to spend my days helping the less fortunate.

*(The screen goes red and says: 'The Very Next Day...' as a whistle plays*

**COMMANDER:** Hey Space Tree, you wanna go help the less fortunate?

**SPACE TREE:** I sure do! *(He stands next to a box that says Muffins 4 L.F.)*

**COMMANDER:** What? I was just kidding.

**To Be Continued...**

(That's what it says. The transcript is complete.)

## Easter Eggs

* On the left side of the end screen, there is a hidden x-button. Click it to see the X-ray image of Space Tree. Click again to see the X-rays of Commander, Allon and Mee.

## Fun Facts

* According to a post on the Space Tree forum by Ed Atlin, this episode had some parts of the storyline of the discarded episode Seriouser Kidnapping.
* Space Tree notes that he's been alive for 223,214 hours, which is equivalent to about 25.5 years.
* The line "Damn it, man! This is a serious situation!" is used 3 times in this episode by Mee, Space Tree, and the Kidnapper.

## References

* This is the second time that the Commander has used the Intruder Detekter to detect something on the starboard bow. The previous time was back in Back to Beardland.
* The Kidnapper first appeared in Serious Kidnapping.
* "Space Tree sense tingling" is a reference to one of the superpowers of the famous comic book superhero Spider-Man.
* Commander does an impression or references Arnold Schwarzenegger multiple times- "It's not a tumor" is from *Kindergarten Cop*, "Hasta la vista" is from *Terminator 2*, and "You're not sending me to the cooler" is from *Batman and Robin*.
* Mee says that he stole his stethoscope from the guy who plays Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie) on the American TV series *House*. His scalpel came from the show *Nip/Tuck*.
* The Requisition-A-Wish foundation is a parody of the Make-A-Wish Foundation.