282: Shrek 2, Shrek 2, Shrek 2, Shrek 2

## Summary

The group emerge from the Sooty Gang hideout, followed by some of the gang members, and with a full set of dam keys to boot. Rosco reveals he also has a mystery key (and that he spent some time in Tivoli) and at Bernard's (yes, *the* Bernard's) insistence, Rosco accompanies the party back to the abandoned house. Discussing Raa's split mind, Will connects the dots between ibish and gnomes, and it turns out that Rosco's key fits the lock on the locked book!

## Synopsis

The party arrive in the poop room and Rosco charts a safe path for everyone through the filth. At the ladder, the St-Bernard-in-bear-form transforms into a centipede and skitters up, seemingly confirming what Raphina had suspected all along. Up the ladder and into the sleeping room, they find people tossing and turning in the throes of terrible night terrors. Everyone follows Raphina along a highly circuitous route in-between the spasming sleepers and round the back of some bunks. She sprinkles *Mass Cure Wounds* as she goes, which helps to settle down a handful of them.

The last room to clear is the gambling room, where all the Sooty Gang gathered there are intently watching two people rolling dice back and forth. There's something strangely compelling about their game and Batthwack realises that the party are also at risk of getting irrevocably drawn in. He hurriedly performs an entrancing pantomime, and distracted by this the group are ushered out of harm's way. A few of the Sooty Gang are also taken in by this display and start throwing money to show their appreciation. Not appearing desperate at all, Rosco collects 9gp.

The party make their way up the last few walkways, back up the stairs to the house and out into the fresh morning air once again. About 20 gang members who were in the *Zone of Truth* have followed Batthwack outside as well. He suggests to them that they head home, and despite seeming a little confused, they wander off and appear to know where they're going.

Despite the fact that he's achieved what he set out to do, Rosco isn't feeling at all settled. *"Man, this place is all fucked up. I thought I could settle down here in Beartoggle, but I don't know."* Raphina agrees it's both a lovely and terrible place. Recalling what Will told them about Raa's split mind, Rosco says he's been trying to get away from that his whole life, but then quickly changes the subject again when this piques Raphina's interest. Unsure what else to do, Rosco follows the group as they head off towards the abandoned house they'd identified the day before, where they'd found Gorbis tied up.

Will does his best to ignore Rosco; he can't understand why this strange old man is still hanging around. The bear puts a hand on Will's shoulder and says out loud in a human voice, *"Don't you think we need him for the other key?"* The voice is undeniably that of Bernard. Batthwack has to catch Will as he nearly faints and Raphina whips a cup of twig tea under his nose, which brings him back to his senses pretty quick. The bear transforms back into a St Bernard. Skeptical, Will casts *Detect Thoughts* and everything appears to check out. Raphina reassures Will that Bernard really has returned, but how does she knows this? *"What's happening? What has happened that I have been missing out on? There's something going on here that nobody told me about."* Bernard insists that they need to bring Rosco with them, reminding them of Raa's final words about *"four keys for four keys,"* implying there needs to be four of them to use the four keys.

Rosco reveals he actually has a key of his own, and pulls out a black painted wooden key to show them. He lowers his voice. *"This is a mysterious painted wooden key, whose teeth change configuration every day at dawn. Very strange, very mysterious. And I've always wondered where I gotst it from."* Rosco genuinely can't remember how it came to be in his possession.

Will asks Rosco where he's from, suggesting they could even go to his home. *"What do you want? You want me to answer your questions right here in the middle of the street?! Okay, where am I from? I don't know, maybe I'm from the circus. Maybe I was in Tivoli. I don't know."* Will does a double take and suddenly seems to change gear, urging everyone to get back to the safehouse where they can talk in private.

Once they're safely inside, Will can't hold it in any more. *"So, you know these ibish guys that we don't know anything about? Because I've never heard of them before we went to Barovia... Guess what? The ibish, they're fucking gnomes you guys! They're gnomes!"* Surprisingly, Rosco says he's heard of gnomes, but now he puts his mind to it, he can't recall the last time he saw one. Will quizzes Rosco about Tivoli and he says it was a nice town, with "bidnesses", organised crime and a brothel called the *Nut Sack*. He can't recall seeing any ibish there.

Will's relieved that they managed to gloss over the organised crime element and looking to further verify Rosco's claims about Tivoli, asks what his favourite restaurant was. Rosco says he never ate out much in Tivoli, but he recalls the glowing sign of a restaurant called *I Don't Know... Carmine's*. Bernard recalls the place too, I mean how could he not, with a name like that.

Bernard asks Will why he's so certain about the gnomes and Will explains what he saw in Raa's mind. Will brings out the locked book with strange symbols engraved on the lock. Raphina immediately makes a connection to Rosco's wooden key. *"And if it fits, wouldn't that mean that you're supposed to be with us for some stupid reason?"* says Will. Rosco thinks that's extremely unlikely, given that the key changes daily. *"The day that this key fits into that hole, I will leave your life forever."* Will, no longer seeing this weird old guy as a threat, hands the book over to Rosco. He seems nervous, breathing on the key and wiping it on his mustardy shirt. The key slides into the lock. Rosco turns it and the clasp clicks open.

## Quotes

* Add memorable quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Eric. After Rosco jokes that his nickname growing up was "Forky" (because the group were discussing the four keys), KT says *"Will's too stressed out to even get sarcasm and he gets a little embarrassed. He's just like, 'That's what I thought.'"* Eric: *"Rosco, make a note to show Will* Toy Story 4 *some time."* KT: *"Slaps a couple of googly eyes on his eyeballs."* Adam: *"I'm just making sure, Rosco doesn't have a copy of Toy Story 4."* He continues, *"Rosco was just looking through his bag. He was like 'I know I got a copy of Toy Story 4...'"* Eric: *"Shrek 2, Shrek 2, Shrek 2, Shrek 2..."*
* Definitions of "Wordle" at the Urban Dictionary: http://wordle.urbanup.com/5415713 (at time of writing, the entry discussed in this episode now has 32 upvotes and 164 downvotes)
* Gabagool: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsBipoG22Nw
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: miraculous.

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*
Eric's sketch of the symbols on the gnomish book's lock
## References

1. ↑ Was Rosco referring to *The Nuthouse*, which was the male brothel featured in Will and Lank's shared vision? See episode 100: She's On The Moon
2. ↑ See episode 281: yeah yeah yeah yeah
3. ↑ The lock's symbols are, top-right: the symbol for Dew's adoptive family (the Yimble family), top-left: "first name / given name", bottom: "half-orc", and finally the looping triangle design around the lock is a symbol meaning "whisper". When Dew whispered *"Dewdrop"*, the lock opened by itself. See episode 203: Wa-Marko