Rage6838

"*I have now seen the corruption of Newport firsthand and will not rest until all are equal under the law.*"
—Rage6838
**Rage6838**, also known as **Jeff** and formally **His Thiccness**, is a former terrorist who served as the fifth Emperor of Newport. Originally a non-citizen of Newport, Rage6838 shares a long and complex history with the Newportian people, with relations varying from friendliness to mutual hostility. In late April 2020 (c. 17 BK), Rage6838 founded the religion of Conchism and served as one of the first High Priests of the Temple of the Magic Conch. During Newport's Democratic Age, Rage6838 was declared a terrorist by the Newport City Council for "war crimes" committed during the Floating Tree Crisis, and was subsequently stripped of his status as High Priest. After an unsuccessful and at times "bizarre" campaign in the Imperial election, Rage6838 rose to become the fifth Emperor of Newport after legally assassinating the previous Emperor, ratatoing8990, during the Purge Night of August 4 (5:1). On August 19 (8:1), he abdicated the throne after an uprising known as the Carrot Revolution.

Rage6838 currently lives in his base in the Eastern Jungles, approximately 400 blocks east of Searcy. He also claims permanent residency in the headquarters of Papaya, Inc.– of which he is also the current CEO– located in Downtown Newport. He has been engaged twice, to lostcity99 and Elasthiccgrl305. Both engagements were called off by his fiancées. On August 10 (6:2), Rage6838 was listed as the fifth-richest player in the Empire by *The Newport Report*. At the 2020 Players' Choice Awards on January 1, 2021 (35:1), Rage6838 won Best Fighter and was nominated for Best Terrorist and Best Newportian Emperor.

## Titles

* Standard
* Orthodox

* High Priest of the Temple of the Magic Conch (late April-June 17, 2020)
* Councilman in the Nether Council (May 29-June 29, 2020)
* CEO of Papaya, Inc. (early June 2020-)
* Fifth Emperor of Newport (August 4-19, 2020)

- High Priest of the Temple of the Magic Conch (c. 17 BK to -6:3)

- Councilman in the Nether Council (-10:4 to -4:5)

- CEO of Papaya, Inc. (c. 8 BK to present)

- Fifth Emperor of Newport (5:1 to 8:1)

## Biography

### Early life

Rage6838 was one of the first players to log on to the server, even before it opened to the public on April 17, 2020 (-18:2). Unlike most other players, Rage6838 opted to settle in the jungles east of Searcy, instead of migrating northwest to the future site of Newport.

In late April (c. 17 BK), Rage6838 introduced Newportians to a sentient nautilus shell known as the Magic Conch. The Conch demonstrated its ability to answer any yes or no question posed by the townspeople, and many were convinced that the shell was omniscient. The Magic Conch appointed Rage6838 and ratatoing8990 as its High Priests, and construction of the Temple of the Magic Conch began in earnest. The completion of the Temple marked the beginning of the religion known as Conchism, which still dominates Newportian culture to this day.

During the Blaze Rod Shortage of mid-May (c. 14 BK), Rage6838 capitalized on the increased demand by price gouging Nether-sourced goods, leading many to criticize his actions and Newport's emerging capitalist economy.

On May 25 (-11:5), Rage6838 became the first player on the server to kill the Wither boss. The fight drew backlash from the citizens of Newport, who had been planning the first Wither fight for the following Saturday. "While Rage6838 doesn't have to follow Newport laws, he still should have asked the other players that were on to join him," lostcity99 commented on the incident.

Sometime in early June (c. 8 BK), Rage6838 founded Papaya, Inc., and opened its first store in Newport's Industrial District.

### Terrorism

*Main article: Floating Tree Crisis*
On June 9 (-8:5), anarchist duo Mstar009 and Mak Mini began constructing a massive floating tree southwest of Newport, a project meant to mock "the [Newport City] Council's invasive abuse of power". Rage6838 initially aligned himself with the Council, and even supported a proposed boycott of The Floating Tree, stating that "trees shall not float on my server". However, as tensions escalated between the Council and the anarchists, Rage6838 decided to capitalize on the situation, offering himself as a mercenary to both sides. As the Floating Tree Crisis came to a head, Rage6838 leaked Newportian military secrets to the anarchists and extorted ratatoing8990 to prevent the release of City Ordinance XV. On June 17 (-6:3), Rage6838's Papaya Store was vandalized by crustyceans in retaliation for his actions during the Crisis. Rage6838 sued crustyceans for the incident in the first court case heard in Newport history. The lawsuit was settled out of court. That same day, the Council enacted City Ordinance XVII, which declared Rage6838 a terrorist for "crimes against the government and people of Newport". As a terrorist, Rage6838 was banned from conducting business and owning property within Newport city limits. The Papaya Store was subsequently dismantled.

On June 18 (-6:4), in response to his actions during the Floating Tree Crisis, the Magic Conch excommunicated Rage6838 and stripped him of his title of High Priest of the Temple. "Rage6838 is a false prophet. His lies flow out of his mouth like honey," said the Conch in a rare full-sentence declaration. According to *The Newport Report*, Rage6838 screamed, "F the Conch!" before denouncing the religion he founded as a "lie" and a "cult". "The true origins of Conch was not some high deity," he said. "It was my shell and I want it back." Following Rage6838's excommunication, High Priest ratatoing8990 stated, "The high priest's behavior as of late not only makes a mockery of the holy priesthood, but it is a blemish upon the good name of the Magic Conch. No high priest should be so corrupted by money that he actively works to sabotage the holy city of the Conch." Rage6838 was replaced by High Priestess lostcity99.

Rage6838 took full advantage of Newport's first Purge Night, held on June 20 and 21 (-5:1-2). Around midnight, Rage6838 descended on the city, slaughtering many purgers who had already been reduced to iron gear. According to *The Newport Report*, Rage6838 had "risen as a *de facto* warlord of Newport" within ten minutes of his arrival. His abrupt domination of the murder market prompted many Newportians to evacuate south to Blartsburg.

In late June (c. 4 BK), it came to light that Rage6838 had stolen the Magic Conch from its Temple. In response to outrage across Conchdom, the Conch revealed a new doctrine: the Conch's "true form is not one single shell, but a spirit that manifests itself in all nautilus shells".

### Imperial campaign

*Main article: Newport Imperial election*
On June 29 (-4:5), Rage6838 announced his campaign to become the first Emperor of Newport. Running as a self-described "capitalist extremist" with the campaign slogan "More than Lore", Rage6838 held a considerable lead in the polls early in the race, even as the only non-citizen candidate. "It seems that most Newportians have forgotten or simply don't care about Rage6838's track record," noted *The Newport Report*.

As a frontrunner in the race, Rage6838 was one of five candidates invited to participate in the Imperial Debate on July 2 (-3:3). However, following the debate, Rage6838's poll numbers plummeted to 0%. He was also criticized for alienating Newportians with "anti-Conch and anti-Council rhetoric" at the debate. Political analyst bja707 wrote, "Rage6838, although an adequate orator, could not succinctly communicate policy positions and failed to distance himself from the literal terrorism of his past."

After his failure at the debate, Rage6838 rebranded his platform to focus on one issue: justice for himself after being murdered in a bar fight. Witnesses said that the murder was retaliation for Rage6838 killing another patron beforehand, an act which he claimed was in self defense. In the wake of his "bizarre new platform", the Rage6838 campaign descended into obscurity. Months later, Rage6838's campaign slogan and platform would partially influence the founders of the Lore Party, a political party in the Server Federation which supports free market capitalism and promotes aggressive expansionism.

When the Imperial Constitution came into force on July 10 (-1:1), Rage6838 was technically freed from his terrorist designation. City Ordinance XVII was not one of the nine ordinances preserved by the Constitution, making the law obsolete at the coronation of the first Emperor.

### Failed engagements

Prior to the election, Rage6838 had been engaged to lostcity99, who was also running for Empress. On July 3 (-3:4), lostcity99 called off the engagement due to "personal reasons". Rage6838 later became engaged to Elasthiccgrl305. On July 14 (-1:5), Elasthiccgrl305 dumped him at the altar to marry SoulxMadnessx instead. After his second botched engagement, Rage6838 seemed to enter a period of despair. He wrote for *The Newport Report*, "I can't say for certain if I will ever find a partner or start a family ... honestly, after being left at the altar, I think I'm done. But who knows what the future holds. Maybe someday this old terrorist will find someone who won't break his heart and betray him."

### Imperial reign

*Main article: Imperial reign of Rage6838*
At 9:34 pm CST on the Purge Night of August 4 (5:1), Emperor ratatoing8990 was legally assassinated by Rage6838, granting him the title of fifth Emperor of Newport. Reportedly, ratatoing8990 and Rage6838 had coordinated the legal assassination before the Purge, with ratatoing8990 agreeing to immediately surrender in exchange for a discount on netherite from Rage6838. "I will not be the 'average Joe' Emperor," Rage6838 announced after his ascension to the throne. "I aim to get a lot done with my time on the throne– passing laws for animal protection and setting up a fair and free Newport– anyone who says otherwise is fake news."

As Emperor, Rage6838 immediately demanded to be addressed as "Your Thiccness". His first Imperial edict, XVI, repealed six other edicts issued by previous Monarchs. Notably, Emperor Rage6838's reforms re-established the Newport Department of Sustainability, relegalized the killing of llamas, and unbanned player slavery. On August 6 (5:3), Rage6838 appointed one of his ex-fiancées, Elasthiccgrl305, as his Imperial Magistrate. That same day, he issued Imperial Edict XVII, which banned the slaughter of animals for any reason other than food, and established the Animal Protection Agency.

On August 17 (7:4), after ratatoing8990 allegedly killed a dog and refused to pay the fine imposed by the APA, Rage6838 represented the organization in the case of *APA v. ratatoing8990*.

In the waning days of his reign, Emperor Rage6838 enacted a series of edicts which *The Newport Report* called "authoritarian and oppressive". The edicts exiled ratatoing8990 and isaacr4760 from the Empire, prohibited certain weapons during the Purge, and banned carrots, among other things. On August 19 (8:1), a group of eight Newportians signed the Carrot Accord, which marked the beginning of an uprising against the authority of Rage6838 and the Imperial Constitution. Initially, Rage6838 vowed to quell the rebellion, telling the revolutionaries, "You have two choices: submit or leave". The Carrot Revolution resulted in Rage6838 being absent from the fourth Purge Night, indirectly abdicating the throne and allowing the revolutionaries to take power. Rage6838 was succeeded by Eternal Emperor undrcovravocado.

## Accolades

 Best Terrorist
 Best Newportian Emperor

## Notable Builds

* Papaya, Inc. Headquarters
* Papaya Store (demolished)
* Rage6838's Base