A book that no one will read

## **I lied, this isn't much of a book at all.**

**This isn't much of a book, it's more or less my rambling thoughts. I don't feel like waking up Seiiki to talk about anything, and I know Heiri's been busy or what not, so sense everyone thinks I'm a writer I've decided to just put it in a book, and who knows. Whatever else, maybe some people relate to it.**

**So, y'know. You dream about somethin' every single day and only the mother knows how long. You get it, and I mean it's good. It's better than not having it, right? I thought this whole promotion thing was gonna change me, and I mean it did. People take me seriously now, and I can't believe the fact that people come to me to help them with things, it's almost like they believe in me. That's all I wanted when I started y'know, to be believed in. Some people see things in me that I don't see. But I find the idea of undying loyalty or patients to be a fallacy, one of the fictions kind. Maybe I'm biased because of what some people have recently said to me. Maybe they say some of these things to motivate me or, maybe they truly mean it. I'm sure you've read the newspaper, oh I'm a criminal now.**

 **But no one knows my side of the story, would it make sense to you if I told you that guy Shanzo threatened me? But don't be mislead, I knew what I was doing when I bought those goods. I've nothing to do with what he did. I simply bought the items and yes, I made a few wrong turns but I'm not perfect. Never I said I was, I just think believing in me is worth it. And I mean, some people do. Like my cousin Ai.**

**I love him alot, but I worry he'll end up just like me. And I won't lie, it hurts when someone you look up to so dearly has lost faith in you. And yeah, I put on a brave face, I listen. I say I'll never quit, I say I'll keep trying. But I don't know if the reason I keep on going, pushing and striving for my goals is because I truly want it, or because I don't have enough self respect to quit while I'm ahead. But, I feel wrong? Y'know? For feeling sad. I had a really good time with a friend of mine from the KPD, her name's Miyadori and ever sense then, I've felt great. But the truth is I feel wrong for feeling bad. Am I allowed to feel terrible?**

**Everyone expects me to figure it out or, be some type of genius and yeah. That's partially my fault. I act as if I'm the greatest to ever do it, but the truth is I'm just a kid who misses his brother. I make mistakes, I do bad things. We all do. But, although I have such great friends I can't help but feel so alone. Do any of them even know my birthday? I'm not ungrateful, I'm thankful they care and I know them, but I can't help but just feel so alone sometimes. I hope Ai doesn't buy a house cause, I don't want my condo to be lonely again. I've just been inviting people to stay over when it gets renovated, I just don't wanna be alone. Y'know?**

**Someone said I should get therapy for my paranoia, but am I wrong? In this village anybody, anywhere, anything is a mission and a goal. You can be assured if you laid your eyes on it, somebody wants it. I try to guide these Academy students and Genin on the right path, and they listen. But I just wonder if I'm not around to do it, who will? And I don't mind being the one people look towards for guidance, hope or faith. But am I suppose to be perfect? People are obsessed with the idea that a leader keeps his cool regardless of the situation, a true leader stays strong so his people don't have to. I believe that too, but I can't help but relate to how hard and lonely that whole mindset is. That's why I have such respect for Sir Katsuo, he keeps moving forward regardless of the situation, trial or tribulation. Either way, I'm gonna go back to bed. I've been Nakigitsune AO Nara and thanks for reading this book, perhaps you find solace in my troubles as you notice, I'm just like you.**