Consider the Saint

Inquisitor Simon Templar is the closest thing there is to an "objectively" handsome man - not because he meets some specific ideal of appearance, but because almost everyone who sees him will agree that he is in fact a handsome man. To some he is an intimidating man; to some he is simply charming; to some he seems a challenge. He is terrible and wonderful and everyone loves him and despairs, etc.

## when you are his acolyte

### on the ship

You see him in business meetings in the grand basilica. You're sitting at the big long table hauled into the aisle, sitting in a pew turned sideways on clever floor hinges of some kind. You've got a brand-new composition notebook and a glittery-inked gel pen waiting at your place at the table. You've got a little plate (restaurant-ware sturdy reworkable material, but with a fancy gold-leaf Inquisitorial pattern around the edge) and a little cup (matching) and they've got Grim Bitz and coffee in them, from the Grim Horton's takeaway box that's been eviscerated on the edge of the fount at the front of the nave. You're having your little nosh and chatting with the folks around you and then the Inquisitor shows up - the big door off to the side opens up and he comes in that way, big black velvet cloak swinging around him, gemstones sparkling from hem to knees, it swirls with heft and it shines like a little starfield surrounding him.

He strides up to the little dais, up to the altar, like that. The rings on his fingers catch the light, catch the attention to each gesture of his hands. He grips the sides of the altar, his starfield cloak swirling not quite to a rest. "Dearly beloveds, we are gathered here today to do Crimes."

He whirls you through what crimes, and why they are the Good Crimes, and what sorts of very fun and thrilling activities will be involved in these Good Crimes, and you are very hyped up about the very fun and thrilling things you are about to do for the Emperor and for the sake of having a good time with the Saint, and you cheer around your mouth full of Grim Bitz when he pauses for it in his speech, and if you're lucky someone sitting next to you remembered to take notes.

He delivers half the speech while sitting in Sergeant Konway's lap at the head of the table, but you scarcely take any notice of that. It's not unprofessional it's just having fun !

### off the ship

You meet him by chance sometimes on ground crew - rarely - a gem of a thing - he whirls briefly through the place where you are existing and he exists with you, and he is alight with a holy fire because holy shit Simon Templar loves Doing Things. Did he seem charismatic and exciting whilst giving a powerpoint presentation? Now he is the most alive creature that has ever lived. Now he is the brighest of eye and of smile, and the lightest of jollity and good humor, and he is so pleased with life and to be here living this life with you, while the two of you are being shot at. Nothing has ever been so pleasant as this shared moment, while the two of you are being shot at. This is amazing. What a Saint.

## when you are also his halo

### on the ship

The meeting is just as exciting if not more so because he may sit in *your* lap for part of it, or have you stand up to demonstrate something and then sit back down with *you* on *his* lap. It's fine *then*. The troubling time was two weeks ago, when there was nothing in particular going on, and all Simon had to occupy himself with was *looking for* the perfect something in particular to *cause* to go on, and in between that he was going nutters pacing the ship like a sheepdog caught inside a cabin. He's still very charming but it can wear out after awhile. If you find dad jokes particularly amusing it might last longer. Or if you're willing to cause mischief in Facilities and risk the wrath of the ship's engineers, because that would at least hold his attention, few other shipboard hijinks are sufficiently risky for him.

### off the ship

You have to actually keep up with him the whole time, and if you lose him you might not see him again for the rest of the operation, and also he may very wll express vague disappointment with you when you find him again, which is terrible. He *expects* you to be *able to* keep up with him the whole time. He genuinely doesn't think that's asking too much of you. He *does not tell you the details of his plan but expects you to keep up anyway*.

***~ \* ~ familiarity breeds continued adoration but with a side of fond frustration ~ \* ~***