Episode 4: The Funk of 40 Thousand Years

## **Episode Summary**

The session begins with the party refreshed and ready to head to Southern Marabanda. **Barra** kick starts things by singing a parody of the 'Pokemon' theme to inspire the team. **Akras** asks about the marching orders in which **Yrsa** says she's leading with **Akras** in the front since he should know the way. **Akras** gives vague directions like 'South and Up' which doesn't inspire much confidence in **Yrsa**. **Barra** chimes in 'As long as we try our best, we're gonna get through this! COME ON!' **Yrsa** praises Barra's positive attitude and they start the journey.

The party travel for 15 minutes and encounter tracks from the previous **Shadow Guard** group. They find another split in the path that heads left or right. **Kaman** asks **Akras** about Troglodytes living in the area and how would they identify them. **Akras** says that troglodytes have a distinct smell. 'they don't bathe'. **Barra** asks if **Akras** can smell any Troglodytes now in which **Akras** pauses and says 'Nope, no Troglodytes.' **Barra** sighs in relief. **Yrsa** clarifies with **Akras** if the previous **Shadow Guard** group were headed this way to the extraction point and he reconfirms this. **Yrsa** orders **Barra** to see which tunnel the group went down.

**Barra** illuminates his breast plate, **Kaman** instinctively gets into position to watch for any crossbow bolts. **Akras** grumbles aloud 'Bit of a warning, my night vision gets affected when you do that.'. 'Ah fuck off.' mutters **Barra** in reply. **Barra** finds that the tracks have split: a set of tracks goes to the left tunnel but back tracks and joins the tracks on the right. **Barra** updates the party with his findings and tells them to go right. Everyone agrees and they take the right tunnel. **Yrsa** asks **Akras** if this path seems familiar, in which he replies 'Oh. I've never been here before.' 'Okaaay~' says **Yrsa** hesitantly. **Akras** explains it's because his squad entered another way, this is the exit route.

The party head down the tunnel and find themselves at another cavern opening. **Barra** remembers from some 3rd Year Geography class that the there's a way to tell which way is going up from the rock formations on the cavern wall, so they could be able to discern where they are in terms of depth underground. **Barra** says 'Ok guys, the rock is soft here, but I think **Kie** should punch it. Just to show that its soft. I learnt about this in Geography. I have this theory to figure out if we're higher or lower.' The party look at him confused. **Yrsa** seems to click, she tells **Kie**. 'So he means to say, if you punch this rock. And you can punch it, and the rock is soft which means...' 'the rock is soft' states **Barra**. **Yrsa** continues 'So if we go somewhere else, and we punch the rock and its hard, then how?' 'Then I break my hand.' says **Kie**. The party pause awkwardly. 'Alright, let's go!' says **Barra** breaking the silence.

**Kaman** looks up at the cavern to see it is 30-40 feet high and hears the flutter of bat wings. **Kaman** draws the party's attention to the bats. 'Are we going to combat? If not we can just move on' asks **Yrsa**. **Kaman** says that if bats exist in the space means they must have come from somewhere. Bats don't live underground, they live in caves. 'And caves have access to the-' 'soft rock' says **Barra** confidently. **Kaman** looks at **Barra** with the 'what are you stupid?!?' look. **Barra** says quietly '...I'm gonna go punch the wall...' The party carry on moving while **Barra** shakes his fingers because the soft rock was still pretty hard to punch.

As they progress, the environment grows darker. **Kaman** tells the party to keep their noses peeled for foul smells of Troglodytes. As **Yrsa** notices the tracking have become noticeably difficult, she sends **Kaman** to the front, followed by herself, **Akras**, **Kie** and **Barra**. **Kaman** sees that there's a turn in the path ahead and a dull red glow casting on the wall at the end of the turn. **Kaman** points to the light ahead and tells **Barra** to kill his breast plate light. **Yrsa** tells everyone that she will scount ahead. **Akras** will be around if there's trouble. **Yrsa** stealths and sneaks right up to the curve, she slowly peeks an eye round the corner.

She sees there's a solid stone cabin planted in the cavern and around it are flagstones that have become moldy. Stalactites suspend from the top of the cavern. There is a stone statue of a horned, aggressive creature but looks heraldic. It is posed in a leaping position with fangs bared. It is large and 9 feet tall, almost touching the top of the stalagmites. Behind its head is a source of glowing orange light, its eyes glow the same piercing orange. **Yrsa** isn't able to tell if the stone cabin is a house or a temple. She can however smell the whiff of rotting meat which she determines is about more than 6 days old.

**Yrsa** stealths back to the party and updates them of the situation. 'You know, I'm not a betting woman but I'd say the statue is magical and it will attack us the second we enter that area.' **Kaman** asks **Akras** if Troglodytes eat rotting meat. **Akras** says they smell terrible like rotting fish and doesn't know much else.

Since there is no alternate path, the party have no choice but to enter that area. **Yrsa** turns to **Kaman** 'if its Troglodytes and we have to fight, at least we're together. If there are no Troglodytes and there is that... statue thing. Maybe you can figure out a way to... **doot**' in a kind of 'switch off' movement. The marching order changes to **Yrsa** in front, **Kie** behind her, **Akras** in the middle, **Barra** in the back with **Kaman**. The party proceed relatively stealthy with **Barra** trying to punch the walls to test for rock depth.

**Barra** looks at the statue and sees that it seems to be a heraldic symbol of a Manticore: it is a lion-headed creature with bat wings, large fangs and talons but it has a body of a lion and a stinging tail of a scorpion. **Kaman** starts waving his hands about to detect magic in the area which will take 10 minutes. **Barra** decides to chat with **Kie** '...so what's a peace-loving Monk like you doing here... beat up shit?' 'I'm here to use my training to -' 'beat up shit.' says **Barra** interrupting. 'no, to protect people. And if I have to 'beat up shit' then I have to, with no pleasure. It is violence, for the greater good.' **Akras** chimes in that as long as **Kie** is loving what she does, it's all good.

**Kaman** receives guidance from his deity **Eijnar** where he can see the weaves and flows of magic through glyphs. He can see through overlay there's a small bit of magic glowing on the Manticore's eyes and back of its head. There is a trace of abjuration (protection) magic on the walls of the stone cabin but not on the flagstones. **Kaman** goes back to update the party, **Barra** says that perhaps as long as they don't go into the house, they would be fine. **Yrsa** changes the marching order to **Yrsa** in front, **Kie** next to her, **Akras** in the middle, **Kaman** than **Barra** at the back.

**Yrsa** suggests the party to check for tracks, **Kaman** steps forward to investigate. He sees a lot of tracks, many of them fresh, and is hit by the smell of rotting flesh. There are fresh blood splatters on the ground stretching off to the left hand side of the stone building. 'I think that there's something here' whispers **Kaman** to the party. He reasons that something has been keeping or eating rotting food and its in that building. **Kaman** and **Kie** hear some sort of crawling movement happening on either side of the building. **Yrsa** suggests they retreat in the tunnel to regroup but just before they could move any further, 4 shambling Ghouls make their way from around the building, 2 on each side. **Yrsa** yells 'They're Ghouls! They're Undead! They'll try to eat you! Do not let them!'

A Ghoul on the left runs bounds on fours straight at **Kaman**. **Kaman** pulls up his shield to brace the impact, the Ghoul grips at Kaman's shield, he can feel its stinking hot breath just inches from his face. **Kie** dashes left and does a Bruce Lee style flying kick to the Ghoul attacking **Kaman**. She could feel her boot squish into the Ghoul's head as she kicks it off kilter.

A Ghoul from the right charges at **Yrsa**, running on fours, its jaw hanging loose off the side its mouth. **Yrsa** growls and swings recklessly at it with her axe, caving in what's left of its chest. **Barra** looks over to the Ghoul near **Kie** and **Kaman** and sings 'dissonant whispers' in an off key version of 'The Sound of Music'. The Ghoul looks up befuddled as if saying 'Wow what the heck was that?' and holds its head in pain, chunks of ooze leak out of its ears. **Barra** decides he'll sing an inspiring song to **Kaman** as he feels he's been a bit mean to him lately. **Barra** and **Kaman** were former shipmates together and have known each other for a long time. **Barra** sings a parody of 'Come On Over' to **Kaman** which inspires him.

**Kaman** falls back to Barra's position, shaking off the attack from the Ghoul. He hexes the nearest Ghoul and shoots a beam of Eldritch Blast. A red dot appears on the Ghoul's head and it suddenly explodes like a smashed watermelon. The impact splatters Ghoul guts all over **Kie** unfortunately. **Yrsa**, seeing this, yells 'It's ok, we'll SHOWER LATER!!' 'Sorry Kie!' hollers **Kaman**.

**Akras** pulls back to where **Barra** is, pulls out his crossbow, loads it, whispers a kind of spell which illuminates his crossbow bolt. He picks off the furthest back Ghoul on the left and fires. The shot leaves a gaping hole in the center of the Ghoul.

Another Ghoul from the right charges up to **Yrsa** who conveniently smashes it in the head with her shield. **Kie** sees the far back Ghoul that was shot by **Akras** rush up to her, she briefly loses her footing on some Ghoul guts and is slashed directly in the chest by the charging Ghoul! **Kie** does a flip kick off the nearest cavern wall but she misses her target and lands on the ground, she does a spin kick to recover herself.

The earlier Ghoul rips Yrsa's shield downwards and slashes into her, **Yrsa** parries back with the shield which bumps it off balance slightly. **Barra** says aloud 'Oh no! Our comrades are in trouble! Maybe we should run! I will choose my favorite member to help! YRSA!' He then sings a dissonant whisper of 'Cheek to Cheek' at the Ghoul who is biting Yrsa's shield. The Ghoul is seemingly enthralled, locks eyes with **Yrsa** and apes a waltzing movement! Goop and disgusting bits trickle onto Yrsa's shield.

'Aw, I feel a bit bad now, I said it out loud that I didn't like **Kie** so much, OH NO! I said it again! Right I'll do something about it!' **Barra** sings an inspiring song to **Kie** in a parody of 'All Star'.

**Kaman** switches target to the Ghoul attacking **Kie.** He hexes and blasts it with an 'Eldritch Blast'. The Ghoul explodes in a rain of innards all over **Kie**! **Kie** looks over at **Kaman** kind of grossed out, **Kaman** does a thumbs up sign from the back. **Akras** lines up a crossbow bolt at the 'waltzing ghoul'. A feathered crossbow bolt pins itself in the Ghoul's forehead but it doesn't seem to be much bothered by it.

2 more Ghouls show up on the left hand side of the building. One of them seems to be gnawing on an armored humanoid arm. The Ghoul behind **Yrsa** leaps in and tears a chunk out of Yrsa's neck while she is distracted by the 'waltzing ghoul'. **Yrsa** shakes off the poisonous bite and gets smacked in the face by the 'waltzing ghoul'. **Kie** leaps gracefully over to the Ghoul on Yrsa's back and punches it in the head. The blow slams into the back of the Ghoul's head who falls forward into **Yrsa**, **Kie** does a swift kick to the Ghoul which tears it off Yrsa's back. She turns around and smashes the face of the 'watlzing ghoul' driving the crossbow bolt deeper into its head.

'I DON'T WANT TO DANCE WITH YOU! CONSENT IS IMPORTANT!' roars **Yrsa** at the 'waltzing ghoul' who cleaves its head off with her battle axe. **Kie** gets splattered with ghoul blood and guts again... **Kie** is seriously grossed out and tries to pick the slime and muck off her.

**Yrsa** rushes up to the left side of the stone building to prepare to face the oncoming Ghouls and does a silly taunt dance 'YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY!!' **Barra** 'viciously mocks' the Arm Ghoul with a weak insult 'Hey! So er, we can tell that someone 'lent you a hand', but ah, you gotta give it back! I'm not very good at insults, because I'm generally A NICE PERSON! YOUR MOTHER IS A PIECE OF SHIT!' **Akras** looks over 'Aw yeah, you really go that one there.' The Ghoul looks up quizzingly at **Barra** as if saying 'that seems rather unnecessary.

'Right! Who should I inspire next?' asks **Barra**. In the distance, **Kie** caked in guts raises a ghoul covered hand. But after realizing that **Barra** only can cast 'Bardic Inspiration' 2 more times decides not to do so any more. **Kie** puts her hand down disappointed.

The Ghoul with the arm licks its teeth with its 2 foot long tongue, it hops over to **Yrsa** and slaps her with its disgusting tongue. **Kaman** grabs hold of some energy, redirects it to the arm ghoul and hexes it followed by a pistol finger to 'Eldritch Blast'. **Yrsa** tussles with the Ghoul and sees it reel back as a chunk of its head is blasted away by **Kaman**. The Ghoul next to the Arm Ghoul sees **Kaman** and scampers up to him. **Akras** drops his crossbow and pulls out his curved blade to swipe at the Ghoul but misses.

**Kie** pulls out a bottle of water, pours it into her hand and twists the water into a whip. She sends the whip over to the ghoul attacking **Kaman** and ensnares it brielfly. **Yrsa** disengages with the Arm Ghoul, yelling 'fuck off', she pulls back to the Ghoul attacking **Kaman**. 'STAY AWAY FROM MY FRIEND!' she howls and slashes down into the ghoul with her axe. The Ghoul bursts open with a huge gash across its upper body. **Barra** 'viciously mocks' the ghoul with a weak insult 'your mother is a piece of shit' **Barra** then jumps back behind **Kaman** who's holding back a Ghoul with his shield.

Arm Ghoul lurches up to **Yrsa** and slaps her in the back weakly. **Kaman** moves over to Kie's position and pistol fingers 'Eldritch Blast' at Arm Ghoul but unfortunately misses. The Ghoul attacking **Yrsa** continues clawing away at her shield, **Akras** steps in and slashes the ghoul, severing it apart! Guts and gore spray on **Yrsa**. **Kie** does a forward roll, pulls out her short sword and stabs Arm Ghoul from the side. **Yrsa** steps forward and executes 'Fury of the Small', violently slashing across Arm Ghoul.

'Don't worry girls!' says **Barra**, pulling out his short bow. He strikes a pose, twists his body back and fires the bow backwards. 'YOUR MOTHER IS A PIECE OF SHIT!' the Ghoul looks over and its head explodes. The party is victorious!

**Akras** praises Team 3 for a good fight, **Barra** goes over to the dead Arm Ghoul and picks up the humanoid arm it was chewing on. 'Give me that!' snarls **Akras** and snatches the arm from **Barra**. **Akras** inspects the insignia on the arm and immediately runs down the path on the left side of the stone building. The party give chase.

They see a half-eaten corpse on the ground next to another similar Manticore statue. It is dressed similarly to **Akras**, its faced mangled and its longsword strewn the ground. **Akras** looks visually distraught as he inspects the corpse for insignia. **Kaman** suggests to **Barra** they should give **Akras** a moment. **Akras** pulls a small pouch and a leather choker off the corpse's neck and pockets it. He stands slowly and takes a long pause. 'Alright **Makra**, I'll see you later...its been a pleasure...'

**Kaman** asks if there's anything they can do for **Akras**, but he says 'what's done is done' **Barra** asks how did **Makra** get separated and **Akras** has no clue either. **Akras** says he needs a moment to himself.

**Barra** wonders if the party should shleter in the stone building but **Yrsa** doesn't think its a good idea. Team 3 leave **Akras** for a bit and check out the side of the stone building. **Barra** runs back to the Ghoul corpses to see if there's anything useful there. He finds the Ghoul corpses are just rotting bits, nothing significant.

**Kaman** magically cleans the guts off **Kie** with prestidigitation. The party walk around the back of the building and see a heavily gated, banded door. 'We should punch it' says **Barra** suddenly. **Kaman** asks **Barra** if he knows what religion the Manticore statues are from. **Barra** knows that the statues are ancient but not of a religion he is familiar with. 'We should punch the statues' Says **Barra**.

**Kaman** asks **Yrsa** if he should examine the gate. **Yrsa** says the gate looks tightly locked up though and the statues around look protective. 'My gut tells me.. we might be attacked'. 'So should we give it a pass?' says **Kaman** 'BUT THEN, my gut also tells me, there might be treasure inside!' continues **Yrsa**.

**Kaman** says he can check if there are traps or booby devices. As far as he can tell, there are no traps. **Kie** tries to listen if there's any activity inside the room and doesn't hear anything. **Yrsa** will try opening the door anyway.

The door pushes open easily, unlocked. The party quietly enter the stone building. There is a dome of blue energy illuminating the room. 2 heavy caskets are seen on the left and right hand side of the room, a tattered series of banners hang at the back of the room. To the left and right are 2 heavily banded chests near the door.

As the party takes in their surroundings, 2 figures within the blue light turn slowly and look at the party...

END OF SESSION

Next Episode 5: Here Comes the Mirror Man

Previous Episode 3: Oh Barry! I'm Not Your Daddy

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