recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
DS9 510

The Bantaca spire of B'hala

*It's UFP pledge week & Bajor's down to party! As the pylons fill with underwear, Sisko plugs his 120V obolisk into the holosuite's 220V & gets a Dead Zone shock showing destruction for Bajor like when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor!*

*Kasidy's out of the pokey & ready to haul Sisko's load but the only big pointy object he wants to show her is a 20,000-year-old Post It. His Johnny Smiths are gonna give him terminal Kurn unless Bashir adjusts his vertical hold in time!*

## Show Bits

* "You just got Schism'd"
* Worf Lightning
* Maques/Maquis
* Star Trek Caves
* Bangers
* The Scene Does Not Go Well Enterprise
* K urn

## P1 Messages

Birthday Message

From Nebraska

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **O'Brien**

For being diplomatic in a faith vs science argument
Ben's pick is **Cassidy Yates**

For going straight from jail to star trek caves
## Trading Cards

It Doesn't Fit! And Put That Combadge In The Black!Worf Lightning Onto Holosuite Carpet... Good Lord Sisko!106 Episodes To Prepare And He Gets The Wrong Banner OutHere Comes Kai Winn To Piss In Your CerealSo...Are You Wearing An Ankle Bracelet?How Would You Like To Be Someone Else?A Staggering, Raving Sisko Does Not Ease ReluctanceHe's Done Trippin'
## Transcript

Official Maxfun Transcript
TNG 524

Romulan disruptor

Bread Box

*How the Hell could the writers not put Guinan in the freaking "Ghost" rip-off episode! The Breadboxes put a banana in the D's tailpipe! Ro & Geordi race Romu-Rooney 2 pull it out!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Worf**

For winkingly making sure that they give the Romulans a shitty older computer instead of a new one
Ben's pick is **Geordi**

For his dopey Han Solo look while confused
## Trading Cards

Some Gee-Gaw Needs To Be FixedNever Seen Him Struggle So Much To Close A DoorWhat The Fuck Is Going On?Can You See This? ZIP!Why Isn't This Asshole Helping? ...Oh!Old-School, Backyard-To-Backyard Police ChaseHe's Halfway Through The Hand Thing!Punching Through The Tops Of Their Caskets
Star Trek Haircast

An ongoing side podcast within the show in which Adam and Ben discuss the often bizarre or fascinating hairstyles and/or wigs featured on Next Gen. Topics have thus far included the types of 80s/90s styles applied to various cast members' heads, as well as running discussions on the wigs placed atop Gates McFadden, TV's Dr. Beverly Crusher.
Official Information

## Hosts

### Adam Pranica

Twitter: @CutForTime
Website: Dorsia Films
## Website

Board Game (Game of Buttholes)
Maximum Fun - Bonus Episodes for donors
Art19 - Early/pre-MaxFun episodes
Uxbridge-Shimoda Store
## Mailing Address

drunkshimoda@gmail.com

* DM @GreatestTrek to request P.O. Box address

## Content Creators

### Dark Materia

Original 'Picard Song' sampled as theme for early episodes

### Adam Ragusea

Mixing themes for new shows

Website
Soundcloud
Cooking Show
### Bill Tilley

Trading cards and Social Media

Personal Twitter
Official Show Twitter
Official Show Instagram
### Rob Schulte

Former producer for Greatest Discovery

Website
VOY 215

Hyper-evolution: officially disavowed by Big Rod

*When Paris gets too fast and too curious with the warp 10 barrier he winds up fitted for his own torpedo tube. But while the death was only temporary he does start mutating into a cross between Dave Bowman and Goldmember!*

*Paris sticks his tongue way, way out at the attempts to stop his evolution, literally catfishes Janeway and leaves us with the biggest unanswered question in Trek: What happened to Kate Jr., Tom Jr., and Captain Proton, Jr.!*

## Show Bits

* BLT
* Previa
* McLaughlin Group
* Doc Holoday
* Sicks Bay
* B. Dunks
* Episode Over-Cut to theme

## P1 Messages

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Doctor**

For his line reads
Ben's pick is **Michael Jonas**

For continuing to betray the Voyager after they break warp 10
## Trading Cards

We Wanna See More Of Them Collapse On The Holodeck FloorKim Always Goes Where No Man Has Gone Before! This Is My Turn!These Readings Indicate You Had The Fish For Dinner!He Looks Like Conan O'Brien Dipped In Vaseline And Kettle Cooked Potato ChipsThey Are Witnesses To The Apex Of Gross For Star TrekThey've Gone To Plaid!There's No Way Season 2 Gets Weirder Than This!Maybe You Kicked It To Me? Maybe Me To You? We'll Never Know.
TNG 507

Romulan screensaver.

*Spock's gone to East Germany & it's up to Capt. Hasselhoff to bring him back over the wall. Riker stakes out a space chop shop. Picard & Data search for Spock Mission: Impossible style!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Picard**

For big-dogging Capt. K'Vada as he attempts to describe how unpleasant the Klingon ship should be for humans
Ben's pick is **Data**

For scene where he stands awake as Picard attempts to sleep
## Trading Cards

Shit's Poppin'!This Was Supposed To Be In The Pawn ShopCue Brass Instrument Of Profound SadnessRoll Up To A BoneyardHe's Sort Of Like JigsawTarget Weapon Systems Only, WorfSet Up At A Ramen ShopIt Me!
Mount Knuckmore

Adam portrayed with some serious knuck, worthy of Mount Knuckmore.

## Pod Apperances

Special:WhatLinksHere/Mount Knuckmore

A term coined in the eponymous Pod episode TNG 325, "Mount Knuckmore" refers to an all-time "Hall of Fame" of Righteous Knuck appearances across all of Trek, as well as a rating system category for Rockin' Episodes in the Mountain Rating System.

The original knucks immortalized on the mount belong to:

* Kyle Riker
* Q
* John Doe
* An Edo

Interestingly there may have been two alternative options that could have arisen from the episode for this phenomena. "Knuckapalooza" was a term that Ben had written in his notes for the episode while Adam had simply written "HOF Knuck." However, ultimately Mount Knuckmore became the term coined in-the-moment for describing truly outstanding Knuck and it now remains what we all know and love.

### Usage as Rating System

"Mount Knuckmore" later expanded further beyond its initial usage as knuck-appraisal to also denote episodes that are particularly Good Trek.

This began as early as the Pod episode, Mount Allamaraine (DS9 Series Wrap-up) wherein Mount Allamaraine was added as a category along with Mount Knuckmore's Dank and Vile counterpart, Mount Armus, to rate episode quality.

### Notable Examples

The coinage and the knucks therein immortalized, TNG 325
Ben and Adam discuss their original show notes, TNG 325

### See Also

* Rockin' Knuck
* Mount Armus
* Mount Allamaraine
Sabo

"Hence the word sabo-tage"

In Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, Vulcan Lt. Valeris *(who is definitely not a clone of Lt. Saavik)* coyly suggests to Chekov and Uhura to tell Starfleet that the Enterprise is incapable of obeying their orders due to technical problems on the ship.

She does this by sharing a false narrative: "Four-hundred years ago on the planet Earth, workers who felt their livelihood threatened by automation flung their wooden shoes called 'sabot' into the machines to stop them. Hence the word 'sabotage'"

Ben and Adam frequently use the drop of Valeris saying "hence the word sabotage" when they mention a saboteur.

## **Featured in episodes:**

* DS9 505
* DS9 513
* DS9 515

## **WARNING! RESEARCH AHEAD!**

The word sabotage literally means "walk noisily," which may have been from the sound of French laborers in the early 19th century protesting in their sabots, but there is no indication in the etymology of the word that it indicated damaging or destroying the machines. Sabotage didn't start meaning deliberately destroying property until the late 19th century.

## Beastie Boys - Sabotage

Is Justin Lin's use of "Sabotage" in Star Trek Beyond a subtle nod to Undiscovered Country? Probably not.
TNG 310

A tactical intelligence analysis star chart.

*When a Romulan tries to pull a Hunt for Red October, Picard has to decide whether to take the Federation to the brink of war. When the guy gets on board, it really puts a cramp in Picard and Data's rehearsal schedule. How hard is it for the Enterprise crew to trust these admirals after Conspiracy? If Picard is Jack Kennedy, does that make Tomalak Khrushchev? Can Patrick Stewart maintain his status as Scenery Chewer In Residence? It’s the episode where we finally break into the 90s.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Data**

For immediately abandoning his mission to make a record of what led up to war with the Romulans
Ben's pick is **Jarok**

For talking shit to Worf while on an enemy ship
## Trading Cards

Bleeding From The Face!Car Bomb!!!Worf Is On To Him From The JumpAdmiral Low-Rent Reginald VelJohnsonAin't Nothin' There!Reservoir Dogs-Style Mexican StandoffWorf, Give The Klingons A High-Five For MeIced Himself
VOY 204

Small space-dwelling lifeforms attaching themselves to a larger one.

*The Voyager sails right into the credits of "Look Who's Talking" except these are life takers instead of life makers. Meanwhile, the space patchouli they're emanating gives Kes some serious nubbin-level cravings far beyond the munchies!*

*Oh my god, Becky! Look at her back! Baby got sac! The swarm pushes Kes' family window to...now! Is Neelix ready to step up & settle down? Can Paris perform a maneuver that turns something off? Is Devinoni Ral part of the Doc's program?*

## Show Bits

* Maques/Maquis
* BLT

## P1 Messages

Promo: Music

Happy Engagement

From FOD.

## Drunk Shimoda

Daily Double! **The Doctor**

For getting to massage some feet and help Kes avoid the mistake of a lifetime
## Trading Cards

Taking Umbrage On Breaking A Policy Later Revealed To Not Be A PolicySpace Is Full Of...Spearm! Guess That's The Best CGI They Could Do?You Gotta Check Her For A Nubbin At This PointYou Gotta Show Me That Back SacThis Is Kes' Version Of Standing Outside Neelix's Window With A BoomboxThe Look Of Your Helmsman When You Order Him To Show Your Belly Like A Golden RetrieverThat's As Good As The $20,000 Massage Chair... Amaright?So You're The Reason I Can't Get A Hair Appointment!
DS9 522

Quark teaching math in an educational program

*Dax's extra credit traps the Lil' D above Planet Ancestry.com-Meets-Tinder. The crew finds they're destined to pull an atmospheric superball manuver into the past & Genesis this planet by spreading protomatter all over each other.*

*Destiny! Destiny! No escaping Destiny! The crew is ready to crash through time & pair off like the last season of a ensemble sitcom to save this planet of extras. However, the man in the bucket is not ready to have Kira's kicked!*

## Show Bits

* Mr. Bucket
* Worf Lightning
* Julian Bashir: Piss Freak
* Kevin Uxbridge

## P1 Messages

To mostly Ben and Adam

Vichy Frenchman
Kevin Uxbridge
Worf Voice

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Gabriel**

For being the stereotypical blonde white kid on the wrong path
Ben's pick is **Worf**

For "yes and"-ing the kid who asks if he can kill people with a look
## Trading Cards

Multiple Kiras Is A Fantasy Of AdamDo You Know The Klingon Head Weighs 46 Pounds?After 200 Years I'm Holding Myself Back From Flowing Over You Like EjectaThey're House Of Mogh By Loaf Or By ChoiceKeiko's Out. It's Not Your CallWhat If The Show Was Just This From Now On? Just No Jake QuarkMe Stabbing You To Get Out Of Farming Is Not How Sto'Vo'Kor WorksYou're Telling Me Oldo Killed 8000 People So We Could Fuck?!?!
## Transcript

Official Maxfun Transcript
DS9 118

Quark mixes a modela aperitif

*The potted plant's mom is on DS9 and she's down to show Odo she knows all about "Big Rod!" O'Brien brings in a space stray and the station gets fleas.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Quark**

For his overly-injured performance in the neck brace
Ben's pick is **Jadzia**

Because her character is just generally silly despite being caught up in a conspiracy
## Trading Cards

Permission To Fuck Up The Program?Blowing Up Is A SurpriseHis Head Gets Opened Like A Book!Does She Have Super Strength?He Has A Pretty Real GripeOdo's InterestedFull Clock Building ModeLiterally... Mind Bubbles
VOY 207

Behind the scenes Riker Lean

*It's a real Two Guys, A Girl and a Talaxian Pizza Place scenario when Paris and Neelix's feelings for Kes put them on a literal collision course! The real question isn't "who gets the girl?" It's "does the girl want either one?"*

*Paris & Neelix's grocery curbside pickup goes bad when they crash land on a planet with an itching powder atmosphere. It looks like their shelter cave is full of facehuggers but it turns out to be filled with Fraggle Rocks instead!*

## Show Bits

* Doc Holoday
* BLT
* McLaughlin Group
* Sicks Bay
* Sabo
* Star Trek Caves
* To The Dome

## P1 Messages

Promo: Podcast

Remember When

Catching Up

## Drunk Shimoda

Daily Double! **Neelix**

For starting a food fight.
## Trading Cards

Equivalent To "Lu! Lu! Lu!"Oh! I Made A Sexy Inertial Dampening Mistake!I Thought Wigs Were Made For Specific Heads. That's Geneviève Bujold Head!Is That The Same Noise You Make With The Delaney Sisters, Harry?Her Empathy Doesn't Seem To Detect "Boil"Janeway Detects The Awkwardness Between ThemCould You Give Me A Minute Before You Put The Moves On?They Clearly Haven't Seem "Alien"What'd Ya Think Of That Puppet, Ben?
It means omertà. It means rewenge

## Pod Apperances

Special:WhatLinksHere/It means omertà. It means rewenge

Omertà is almost certainly a reference to the (often exaggerated) *Italian* code of honor, while "rewenge" is a purposely silly *German* pronunciation of the word "revenge".

This itself is actually a reference to an episode of **Blackadder II**, in which a character played by Hugh Laurie exclaims that he will, "return, and wreak my rewenge."

The actual audio drop used in the pod: "It means omertà. It means rewenge," is a clip from the British comedy program **Peep Show**, in which one character exacts his revenge on another. **Peep Show** is itself referencing **Blackadder II**.

A prominent example with context occurs 43 minutes into  episode 101, "Hiding the Judd."
TNG 521

Kamala in her wedding gown and Captain Jean-Luc Picard in his dress uniform.

Glass Top Coffee Tables

*What came 1st? The space babe or the egg? Looks like the dudes on the Entrepreneur came 1st! Will Prof. X lose Jean Grey to the clutches of a dude who looks like angry Howdy Doody?*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Riker**

For his genuine embarrassment at being seduced by Kamala and having to take a "cold shower" on the holodeck
Ben's pick is **Kamala**

For casually mentioning that she plays all musical instruments
## Trading Cards

How Are You Writing Ferengi That Way In Season 5?Ridonkulously Good LookingRun Program, "Blue Balls 2"Gives Her A Little GrowlSpots...All Over!These Glass Tables Need To UnionizeGinger Billy CrystalPicard's Very Sad Face
TNG 417

Enterprise releases hydrogen from its Bussard collectors

*The Enterprise finds the USS Freddy Krueger and gets a case of "killer" insomnia. Troi goes total Dream Warrior to fill some aliens' shopping list. Can't they just use NyQuil?*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **The moment when Guinan shoots a rifle at the ceiling**

For having a weird glitter effect and raising questions about why Guinan has an alien rifle
Ben's pick is **Data**

For cutting off Dr. Crusher to quickly re-explain what she is trying to say
## Trading Cards

Dead In All Different Types Of WaysAs Cloudy As A Snoop Dog Studio20 Minutes Of Hallucination VignettesThe Worst Nightmare: The Ship In Data's HandsYou Can See How Fucked They Are Through Riker's HairHis Quarters Are Not Child Safe!Give Them Hydrogen?! The Most Abundant Gas In The Universe!Like Any Good Bartender Would!
STLD 0203

A Caitian libido post

*When Dr. Katz sends Tendi on a personal errand, the item she’s sent to pick up for her is contained in discreet packaging. But when our Lower Decks characters are reshuffled, we’ll have to decide if these two new pairs are a winning hand.*

## Show Bits

* Hoofs
* Sicks Bay
* Dr. Katz
* Flared Base
* Convention Question Guy

## P1 Messages

Promo: Discord server

To FoDs

## Edward Larkin

Daily Double! **Biomler**

For his deranged determination
TNG 212

A recreation of the novel Hotel Royale.

Worf Hates Doors

*When the crew beams a big pile of ship aboard, they decide to beam down to a planet with a frozen fart-based atmosphere to investigate. The DustBuster club quickly find themselves trapped in a nightmare vacation to Vegas. Is Worf behind the lack of door locks on the Enterprise? Is Picard's love of trashy novels distracting him from mounting a sincere rescue operation? Is playing along with a bad book the only way to escape it? It’s the episode where we declare that we’re here to defend democracy, not necessarily to practice it.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Col. Richey**

For staying alive so long
Ben's pick is **Worf**

For trying to push through a wall
## Trading Cards

Colonel Richey: Crispy CritterA Bunch Of Swirling FartsA Warrior's Door!A Pretty Bangin' CasinoA Purfunctory Character On Walker: Texas RangerA Sartorial Holocaust Suit
TNG 112

Historian Whalen, dressed in 1940s clothing

*When Captain Picard has a big linguistics test to study for, he decides to procrastinate in the holodeck instead. Disappointing everyone, he chooses a program about a 1940's-era private detective, so Data, Dr. Crusher, and a random crew member join him. Turns out, there's a malfunction and people in the holodeck aren't shooting blanks anymore, which would be a real problem if Picard had been able to get Beverly up on his desk like he wanted to. Will the Enterprise ever fix the door problem? What does holodeck gum even taste like? It's the episode where we give everyone a little dusting of Drunk Shimoda.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Data** [Half-Shomoda: Picard]

For not picking up social cues [for not saying anything to Data]
Ben's pick is **Geordi LaForge**

For not doing anything to get the crew out of the holodeck
## Trading Cards

I've Had Way Worse Stuck to My FaceHe Just Doesn't UnderstandEnough of Your BullshitDAH QUAP JALPAH BLURG BPAO PLOP ;LAH;DSOA
TNG 109

Jean-Luc Picard hallucinates his role in the Battle of Maxia

*When Captain Picard abandons a perfectly good ship full of Pelican cases, the Ferengi are nice enough to return it to him. Meanwhile, he's reminded of an old crime (which has nothing to do with Wesley), and gets a massive headache in the process. Finally, we introduce the "Picosby," and nothing is ever the same. Be sure to listen all the way to the end for a brand new listener-submitted Drunk Shimoda song!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Dr. Crusher**

For not relieving Picard from command
Ben's pick is **Picard**

For obliviousness to his mind control
Honorable Mention: Wesley

For saying "You're welcome, ladies"
## Trading Cards

Aggressive Beach Ball!The Riker Maneuver - It Probes Deep SpaceDoesn't Notice The Giant Glowing BasketballFeel Free to Relieve Yourself of Command!Number 1 to Number 1 Respect Knuckles
TNG 425

Guinan mixing a drink from Prakal II.

O'Brien hates his family

*Data writes a '90s workplace rom-com subroutine and becomes an actual Love Machine, baby! In the 24th century, "computer dating" means actually dating a computer! The "D" gets termites!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Riker**

For talking loud over the communicator like an old person using the phone
Ben's pick is **O'Brien & Keiko**

For immediately fighting with each other when sitting with Data & Jenna in Ten Forward
## Trading Cards

What The Hell Was That About?You're Double-Bagging These Before Shooting Them, Right?He Doesn't Know The Order Of ThingsCan You Explain Why All My Shit's On The Floor?Dials It To "11" With The SeductionHe Goes Full Nic Cage!How Do You Even Begin To Clean That?They've Lost Enough Previas This Year
Uber Missions

## Pod Apperances

Special:WhatLinksHere/Uber Missions

A common theme in TNG is where the crew need to ferry a person or MacGuffin from point A to point B. Often at point C (which is somewhere between points A and B) some shit will go down and shenanigans happen.

It is unclear why Captain Picard of the Flagship Of The Federation is demoted to essentially your Uber driver for the evening.

See also Conferences are Dangerous.
STLD 0102

Poster by J.J. LendL

*Boimler is assigned to be a warrior's taxi for a Klingon general who, with Mariner's help, turns a simple trip to an embassy into a "@JK\_Woodward at #STLV" level party event! Rutherford plays job Tongo with disastrous results.*

*Rutherford's career path goes (thankfully) down the tubes. Boimler goes full Dangerfield with getting no respect and being owned by Mariner. But "saving" her from a Ferengi gives him the Stuart Smalley moment he needs to bounce back!*

## Show Bits

* Natural Yeager
* Previa
* The Scene Does Not Go Well Enterprise
* Dustbuster Club
* Anybody Canyon

## P1 Messages

Happy Birthday

Promotional Message: Resume

## Edward Larkin

Adam's pick is **Mariner**

until it's not
Ben's pick is **Quimp**

for wearing a monocle
## Trading Cards

She Hits Our Glowy, Sparkly Creature Nostalgia With A Hammer!The Expectation Of Disappointment Where None ExistsIt Sucks When You're The Designated DriverIt's Kobayashi Elementary School! Tracking The Children Floating Into Space!Rutherford Keeps The New Trek Ocular Trauma Going StrongBoimler Realizers People Who Aren't In Starfleet Don't Give Much Of A Fuck About StarfleetHe'd Have Had A Better Chance Of Robbing Them If He'd Had One Of Those Whip PhasersThis Was A Bit!!!
DS9 420

Poster by J.J. LendL

Malibu Picard

*Mirror Jennifer Sisko Amber Alerts Jake to the MU as ransom for Ben to finish building their off-brand Defiant. I guess the women of the Mirror Universe are underestimated because they don't wear their evil goatees on their chins?*

*Mirror Worf is about to drop a Zed-style gimp hammer on Terok Nor unless Sisko can jump start "Not The Defiant XXX". Kira dustbusters Jennifer on her way over the wall proving Ben Sisko has Ben Cartwright levels of woman issues.*

## Special Episode Style

The recording of the episode was live cast and that video should be available in the donor-only section. Due to g\*\*gle dropping the split-screen feature from the program Ben and Adam used to record: this is the first and last episode to be done this way; the time investment needed to solve technical issues was deemed inefficient for the amount of value added.

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Doofy Klingon guard**

Losing a key in his boot
Ben's pick is **Jake**

Being very naive in the Mirror Universe
## Trading Cards

Shouldn't You Have Two Keys?Boy-Yoy-Yoing!You Need To Fix Our Nasty Little "D"More "Al Swearengen" Than Prime QuarkThe Slap Was TelegraphedHe Can Fix The "Vibration" IssueNot The Kind Of "Stabbing" He ThoughtThe $2 Bill Of Betrayal SocietyLoad Her Into A Mark "IV"
Rom-yar-lin

One of the craftiest and yet clunkiest portmanteaus featured on the podcast, "Rom-yar-lin" (Romulan + Yar) is the creation of one Benjamin Ahr Harrison for the character Sela, portrayed by Denise Crosby in her triumphant and bread-boxy return to Star Trek television in the episode "The Mind's Eye". Similar takes on this phrasing have arisen in other episodes, but it is Rom-yar-lin which will live on eternally.
The Blue Beverage Of Subtext

## Pod Apperances

Special:WhatLinksHere/The Blue Beverage Of Subtext

This is just Star Trek Writers doing shorthand for "there are emotions involved here, but being a nerd I don't know how to express that let alone display that on camera so we'll have the person sitting alone at a bar. Because that's what people Having Emotions do, Right? Right?".

see also: Pan Flutes of Subtext and The Single Brass Instrument Of Subtext
TNG 313

Two waiters in Ten Forward with ten chocolate sundaes.

Malibu PicardRiker's Consent Fetish

*When Q appears on the bridge naked and powerless, the Enterprise crew begrudgingly grants him asylum as they troubleshoot an Armageddon-sized problem for a planet in trouble. But as Data teaches him what it's like to be human, one of Q's old nemeses plans its revenge while he's the most vulnerable. How does Q decide his bodily proportions? What's the safest restaurant appetizer? Who is "Malibu Q"? It's the episode that's just a total mess. Sad!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Corbin Bernsen**

For appearing in an uncredited role
Ben's pick is **Bre-el Scientists**

For doing almost nothing to prevent their planet being hit by a moon
## Trading Cards

Nude Q!Prep Walk!Working With The Geek TeamShe Totally Straightens Him OutBeachball Attack!Malibu QMexican Restaurant EntertainmentI'm In A Refractory Period
TNG 511

A painting by Timothy

Slickback Trilogy

*The crew finds a starship on blocks with a slickback survivor who wants to be Data's new pet. As a kid with his own condo on the Enterprise, he really screwed up not imprinting on Riker!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Troi**

For encapsulating her character with a line about getting out of the way of the action
Ben's pick is **Timothy**

For falling asleep during heart-to-heart with Data
## Trading Cards

Got Left In A Bad NeighborhoodEmbracing The "Big Jim Slade" Part Of HimselfHey, That Model Is Not GreatYou Don't Have Feelings? That Sounds Amazing!What's It Look Like When You Eat Chocolate?It's Sort Of A Shit ImpressionTurn 'Em Off!He Doesn't Seem Better
PIC 102

Poster by J.J. LendL

*Apparently, andriods don't dream of electric sheep but of killing hu-mons. Lal 2.0-2 proves she's as fully functional as her dad. Picard is ready to Jack Ryan all over Starfleet but Adm. Moira gives his plan the Felix Cortez.*

*He's saved the damn universe but Starfleet won't give Picard a loaner. Since Starbase 74 is too far away, he needs another way to get a ship. Wouldn't it have been great if O'Brien answered? He must have a runabout on blocks!*

## Show Bits

* USS Entrepreneur
* Exocomp
* This Old Starship
* The Scene Does Not Go Well Enterprise

## P1 Messages

Thanks for marrying me

To: Not Ben

## Edward Larkin

Adam's pick is **Narek**

For sticking it into his surveillance target
Ben's pick is **Laris**

For believing in the conspiracy Romulans
## Trading Cards

The Red (Shirt) Planet Is Testing F8's Social BoundariesYou Haven't Used That Sexual Blacklight At The Winery, Have You?She's Already Assimilated That DickI Know The Fucking Machine Is Still On, Picard!Your Rip Shit Moment Cost Me A 500-Year-Old Tea Set!Classic Combadge Stuff. Look To The Sky And Tap It!She Moved Here For The Stand Your Ground LawsHave You Been Inside The Abomination?
TNG 307

Beverly Crusher works to save the Romulan Patahk.

Anybody CanyonFacetime

*When the Enterprise drops off a Dustbuster Club on a planet besieged by plot-forwarding radiation, the away team loses track of Geordi and beams up an injured Romulan instead. Stuck in a hole and slowly going blind, Geordi's fate lies with an ally who discloses some troubling opinions about eugenics. How careful do you have to be when a Romulan pulls you over? Can gaberdine wick away moisture before the chafing starts? Is this the start of Riker's drinking problem? It's the episode where Worf is made to disclose his donation status.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Daily Double! **Worf**

For not helping the dying Romulan
## Trading Cards

5-Finger Exploding Palm!Geordi Manages To Slip On A Banana PeelWe Gotta Get The Fuck Out!!!!Her Hair Is 12" Longer Than The Last Time We Saw ItGeordi LaForge... First Blood!He Likes The Close-Up FaceTimeFuck You A 1,000 Times! Peace Out!Forming A Team!
PIC 105

Poster by J.J. LendL

*Picard and crew head to Planet #STLV to conduct a Borgs-Contra exchange for Maddox with the woman who made Seven "Old Yeller" Icheb. Agnes shows us a Professor/Teacher WTF moment that tops Prof. Jennings in Katy's kitchen.*

*Community theater tanks when Seven goes Punisher! The Trexican standoff ends with her sparing Vajazzle then giving her the Sully treatment & Agnes saving Maddox to smother him with a space pillow! Double middles to mercy!*

## Show Bits

* Mars Attacks
* This Old Starship

## P1 Messages

Feral Questions

Impression Request

## Edward Larkin

Adam's pick is **Santiago**

For wearing a pimp hat
Ben's pick is **Elnor**

For not knowing how to lie
## Trading Cards

This Will Not Make Ben's Maternal Healthcare DocumentaryYou Don't Want To Drink Cosbys On FreecloudSmooching?!?! What? No! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!A Feast For The Star Trek Trivia MindWhazzup, Vup?This Is The Silliest We've Ever Seen Him ActHer Rifles Are Set To "Campfire"Well, That Changes Everything!
TNG 704

Riker Maneuver

*JL Pipes gets vaporized in Mos Eisley and Riker's ready to go full Dirty Harry for justice! Pipes is alive! And for some reason he's working for "Labyrinth" David Bowie!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Geordi**

For mirroring Riker’s “put his leg up on a rock” maneuver
Ben's pick is **Ensign Giusti**

For (as a charity Shimoda which is the opposite of the usual distinction of having fun) having to thanklessly narrate what should have been a scene of starships doing things
## Trading Cards

The Hair Is Not Doing Him Any FavorsThat's Not How We Do It In My FamilyThere's Something About "Vengeance Riker"Phaser! Phaser! Phaser! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!The Leadership TentHe Is Vigo!Brown Leather DaddyShe Replaced Kirstie Alley
TNG 710

Kevin Uxbridge

*Data meets his mom and she's a planet proctologist. It always comes back to buttholes. Data really takes after mom. They both play strings, they do science, & they're full of wires.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Lady wearing a birthday hat in Ten Forward**

For wearing a weird birthday hat thing during a solemn recital
Ben's pick is **Dr. Juliana Tainer**

For spending decades without reaching out to Data
## Trading Cards

Planetary Constipation ExpertsA Tough Name In Certain CirclesSomething's Up With This MomProve You're My Mother. Show Me A Dick Pick.How, Exactly, Did That Happen?The Devil When Down To GeorgiaLEDs Where Gore Should Be!Pran Is Married To A Real Doll!
TNG 207

The six Darwin children on the Darwin Genetic Research Station.

BunkbedOlds

*When the Enterprise encounters a ship full of dead seniors, their immediate concern is the smell. Their investigation leads back to a science facility where experiments in genetics have taken a dangerous turn, creating a race of non GMO-free people. How many cans of soup can a starship hold? Is Star Trek anti-science? Is Chief O'Brien a con artist? It's the episode that has plenty of handrails!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Chief O'Brien**

For his technobabble speech
Ben's pick is **Picard**

For saying "extraordinary" when hearing that Pulaski had admired him
## Trading Cards

Scattering 200 Cans of Soup into SpaceShit Is Not Great On The LantreeTop-Notch Old Lady Phone MannersThe Most Janky-Looking ShuttlecraftGeorge Baxter!Super-Old Pulaski And Just Pretty-Old PulaskiWe Are Stuck With Her For The Rest Of The Season
VOY 106

0% Authentic Native American Culture

*The Voyager's trip home grinds to a halt when Janeway perks up at filtering energy out of a space cloud. Sadly, the attempt is half and half-assed. Tom's latte night home invasion gives Harry grounds to question their friendship.*

*While Cha-Ko-Tay puts Janeway in touch with her internal petting zoo, the crew discovers that cloud was people and the Voyager's fly through gave it a big GSW. They'll have go back in and be the space brown-brown to keep it alive.*

## Show Bits

* To The Dome
* Bangers
* This Old Starship
* Tin MAN
* Worf Lightning
* Episode Over-Cut to theme

## P1 Messages

Do an impression

Awkward time lag

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Bridge Officer**

For taking a snack
Ben's pick is **Tuvok**

For his double standard
## Trading Cards

If You Like Your Coffee Kanar Thicc Go To NeelixShe's Trying To Suck Her Lung Back Out Of HimHow Do You Eye Mask But No Headphones?Is That A Bifurcated Mogwai?This Spirit Guide Will Make Sense By "Threshold"He Also Told Me He'd Never Shown Anyone His "Medicine Bundle"If You Don't Like It On "Star Trek" You Can Try "SeaQuest DSV"It's Nice To Have A Snack During Red Alert
DS9 117

Bolian Ambassador Vadosia

*The potted plant's mom is on DS9 and she's down to show Odo she knows all about "Big Rod!" O'Brien brings in a space stray and the station gets fleas.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **O'Brien**

For talking about puppies to people who don't know what puppies are
Ben's pick is **Lwaxana**

For the over the pants dick grab around 13:30
## Trading Cards

She's Gonna Blow On All The DiceIt Should Cost $65 But Costs $130 For Some ReasonThe "Junk Grab" Is More Than ImpliedStar Trek I And IV Are About This!"Daisy" From "2001" MomentFire On A Sub!Can You Imagine If You Got That Wet Every Time You Got Tired?You Never Know What's Going To Spray On You
VOY 108

Data, In The Turbolift,

*When an old professor's young wife gives Paris the bird and said professor later turns up a dead duck, Tom gets his wings clipped and is put in memory jail. But when Tuvok investigates it starts to look like Tom's been buffaloed.*

*Since the Voyager shipped out without any Dixon Hill stories on the holodeck for inspiration, Tuvok has to resort to a noir meld with Paris to see if he's really guilty of doing the deed...and the other deed...if you know what I mean!*

## P1 Messages

Winner

Marry Me

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Tom Paris**

For Kirking around
Ben's pick is **Ben**

For reminding Adam to do the homework and forgetting to do his own.
## Trading Cards

It's Less Lurid Dream And More Snuff FilmI'm Thinking Of Calling Myself "Dr. Spock." Why Are You Looking At Me Like That?It's Real Chiquita Banea LoafPost Gastric Bypass Surgery The Thing From Fantastic FourI Didn;t Fuck That Guy's Wife, Captain! And They Were On A Break!Are You Ready To Deliver Your One Line Here, B'Elanana?Ummm...Is This The 69 Meld?This Is What Matlock Is All About. Open The Door And Meet The Witness!
TNG 323

A command division ensign playing the cello.

Bit Origin:She Who Is My Wife

*When a legendary Vulcan diplomat starts acting strangely ahead of an important conference, the Enterprise crew chalks it up to old age. But when his brand of mental disability becomes contagious, glass tables around the ship aren't the only thing in jeopardy. Can we workshop a worse throw-to-title scene? Is this episode "canonical Ghostbusters 2"? What happens to a kid at a bar fight? It's the episode where we learn, "Never mind-meld with your heroes."*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **The moment where Geordi talks to a kid at the Ten-Forward bar**

For being inexplicable (19 min)
Ben's pick is **Sakkath**

For trying to be sneaky in conversation despite being a Vulcan
## Trading Cards

Spock's Daddy! Major Baller Status!Focus Rack! Picard Sees The MoistnessHave Tempers Become A Little Frayed?Why Is This Kid Here and Where Is He In The Fight?The Guy's Getting Transferred To The Hood!So If This Gets Crazy, You Can Drive, Right?Extended Freak Out!We Thought About Riker, But We Didn't Want The Legarans Fucked
TNG 520

The Poet, a holographic character in the Parallax colony program.

*If I knew where this episode was on my Blu-Ray disc I'd scratch it off with a nail! It's an episode so bad it gave the "D" open sores & wasted the Space Stripper Glitter idea.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **The Costumers**

For leaving one of Picard's rank pip's off his collar in the turbolift scene
Ben's pick is **Mr. Homn**

For the approving look he gives Lwaxana
## Trading Cards

Just Part Of The JobIt Happens So Early In The EpisodeThere Are Scripts Left On The Shelf!An Episode Conceived By A Head Injury"Alien" Ruined Vicous FluidAw, Yeah!Troubling Eye Line For The ValetHe Is A Muddy Man!
TNG 213

Jean-Luc Picard with his future-self double.

Bit Origin: Malibu Picard
Bit Origin: Viewers
Bunkbed

*When the Enterprise finds an IKEA shuttlepod floating in space, they (what else?) bring it aboard for a closer inspection. What they find inside is a very tan, extremely well-rested clone of Captain Picard whose body, unlike the original Picard, does not respond well to stimulants. How will Wesley (the boy?) tell them apart? What's the cost of destroying a Galaxy-class starship? Why didn't Riker season his eggs before serving them? It's the episode where we bring booze to brunch!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Dr. Pulaski**

For bringing booze to "breakfast"
Ben's pick is **Chief O'Brien**

For showing up in the shuttlebay at the end and having no lines for 3 minutes
## Trading Cards

Picked Up At A BodegaA Warrior's EggRace Car Bed Version Of A ShuttleLike Trying To Work On A FiatMurders Malibu Picard!
Sicks Bay

An at first accidental, now deliberate, mispronunciation of "sick bay," "Sicks" for sick people. Coming only a few episodes after Borgs other pluralizations followed: "Olds" and "Federations".

Adam and Ben have even taken to editing sickbay-related audio clips from the show to simulate actors on the show mispronouncing the word.

May also be heard as "Six Bay" by viewers, originated in Ep:47 Terrible, Terrible Clip Show (TNG 222)
TNG 214

William T. Riker and his father Kyle Riker.

*When Riker’s daddy comes aboard, his sexual magnetism finally meets its match. After a few days of bickering, it all comes to a head in an American Gladiator match that gives Code of Honor a run for its money in the racism department. What was Worf’s job interview like? Can the ship's three most socially inept crewmen throw a good party? Will Riker take Picard’s advice on a new way to get off? It’s the episode where Adam opens some cards of his own!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Kyle Riker**

For showing up to surprise his estranged son
Ben's pick is **Chief O'Brien**

For being up for anything in Ten-Forward
## Trading Cards

Bar Mitzvah!I Watched You Manually DockThe Dad Of The Show's Sexual IconLooks Like An Upholstered SofaCan You Imagine The Dust In The Room?Q-Tip Fight
Pivot

Our hosts often announce a "pivot", meaning a sudden shift in tone for a scene, or an abrupt change of topic. A pivot can occur within the episode they're discussing, or it can happen in their conversation in general (ie, during a "Maron").

Nothing special occurs upon the mention of a pivot; but in my mind, a reference to a pivot is accompanied by a sound drop of Ross Geller (from the show "Friends") shouting "PIVOT!" (maybe I could inspire this).
DS9 503

Son-of-a-Worf

*When a Klingon Amanda Jones shows up Worf tries to impress her by roughing up Morn instead of buying earrings with his college money. However, the streams cross when he learns she's Quark's ex & winds up as Quark's C.D. Bales.*

*Kira and Miles prove if office friends give enough back rubs they'll wanna bang. Sulky Worf lands Quark a Pacific Rim job, which pushes Dax to go full Watts and show Worf she's some kind of wonderful.*

## Show Bits

* The O'Brien Drop
* The Little D
* Honeysticks
* K urn

## P1 Messages

Commercial Message

Pod Suggestion Thanks

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Worf**

For being oblivious to the world around him
Ben's pick is **Bashir**

Being stuck cleaning up after everyone else's sex
## Trading Cards

Seeing That Ruined The HotnessThis Seems Like An After Hours SituationThe Sexiness Is Undercut By What He's WearingYou Can't Be A Cafeteria Klingon, Quark!Maybe Miles Could Worf All Over Your Worfs?It's Been A Long Time Since Death Was On The LineBoth Couples Are Doing Breath Stuff! You Can't Do That!Bashir's The Mop Guy At The Sex Arcade
TNG 508

The Krocton Segment on Romulus

*In the quadrant of consent, First Officer Matt Dillon don't cotton to no starship rustlers! You'd think these Romulans would know by now messing with TOS Spock leaves you S-O-L!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Riker**

For marching into the space cantina in uniform and grabbing a drink off of a waiter's tray
Ben's pick is **Data**

For deadpanning "perhaps you would be happier in another job" to Rom-Yar-lan
## Trading Cards

Willing To Play The GameCrazy JawHe Bakes And He Karaokes!He Holds Up As Well As ChunkArch Villain RevealShe Just Leaves Them In Her Office!Do Some Beat 'Em Ups!You Wanna Hit This?
TNG 623

Ensign Torigan

50 Year Old Ensign

*Worf can't catch a holy buzz anymore, so he heads to planet Spicoli & finds the OG Klingon! Good thing Kahless didn't show up in season 2 with clone hatin' Pulaski & Riker around.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Old Ensign**

For being unable to act in scenes where people are talking about him
Ben's pick is **Dee Giffin Scott (uncredited Klingon Pilgrim)**

For her (clearly self-written) IMDb bio
## Trading Cards

In A Real FunkThinkin' About The Doobage NeededThe Loaf To End All LoafsIsn't Fighting Fun!He Tests Positive For "Kahless"You Just Don't Get This AnymoreYou Were Made By Nerd KlingonsKahless Is What Was Liked
TNG 419

Beverly Crusher as Roxane.

*Barclay's brain gets ginkgo biloba-ed! He goes full super nerd and has game with the ladies! Oh, the irony of a TNG story where becoming the biggest nerd makes you a dustbuster target!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Lack of security measures/Troi**

--/For asking Barkley out after he changes
Ben's pick is **Worf**

For ordering a security officer to take a run at Barkley's force field
## Trading Cards

Playing Steve Martin In "Roxanne"Q Flash!Big Dogging The Shit Out Of GeordiHey Deanna! Did The Mac Down Work?Hey, Computer! What Happened?More Souped Up Than Any LaptopFeels Like A Pretty Big RetreadIs It Weird To Be Dumb Again?
VOY 101

Lieutenant not sad about her death

*We're back in the Van Hagar years of the Mayquees! THE Voyager is to chase them down with a rogue pilot & a crew of Trek guests stars. What could go wrong? My executive producer approved an oversize set for the premier of her favorite Trek.*

*Captain Mrs. Columbo is on the case of the missing Mayquees. But when they hit the same spatial pothole as the raider they wind up hella far from home on a creepy space station that's part "Deliverance" and part space Irish fever dream!*

*The crews are brown beamed back minus Harry and B'Elanna and Janeway unleashes the power whisper of refusal to leave without them. But they need help to track them and the space hedgehog soaking in the tub says he knows where to get it.*

*Neelix leads the crew to the Kazon, who need Soul Glo as much as water, to rescue his girlfriend. She's Kes. She's adorable. And she knows where Harry and B'Elanna are. Can Janeway and crew save them before they get Generation-ed?*

*The Caretaker shrinky dinks before he can deny the Kazon his station. So Janeway decides it's OK if the crew sleeps in the car for the next 70 years & does it herself. She tells them to not give up Ryan's Hope & tilt nacelles to credits.*

## Show Bits

* Maques/Maquis
* This Old Starship
* Bunkbed
* Bangers
* Sicks Bay
* W/r/t
* Lt. Toast
* The Scene Does Not Go Well Enterprise
* Girder
* "You just got Schism'd"
* Worf Hates Doors
* Eyes to Commercial
* Star Trek Caves

## P1 Messages

FoD social site

Happy Anniversary

Vichy Frenchman
## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Rollins**

For his "first episode of a new season" vibe, a bit like Argyle. Plus he plays his station like a piano.
Ben's pick is **Neelix**

For how he engages with the future (aka: Have as much of the future at once).
TNG 111

Pictured (L-R) are Marina Sirtis and Majel Barrett.

Riker's Leaning Wall

*When Wyatt (the guy from the music video for "Take On Me") beams aboard the Enterprise to marry Counselor Troi, Commander Riker realizes that he won't "be gone in a day," and it really puts him in a foul mood. It doesn't help that Troi's mother is getting into people's heads, and the combination of Wyatt's creepy Glamour Shots-style drawings and the arrival of an alien ship mean that the wedding plans are off the rails in a hurry. What is "80's hot" anyway? Does big hair qualify as formal attire? Can Troi's mom see inside Riker's head, and does she want to? It's the most 80's episode yet, and we're forced to review it!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Daily Double! **Mr. Homn**

For actually being drunk and not talking until he says "Thank you for the drinks" to Picard
## Trading Cards

Desktop BabesPut's a Real Lean Into ItCanonical "Take On Me"Nails!He's Going for a BoobKelly Lynch from "Roadhouse"
TNG 607

classroom terminal

*Picard's Previa flies backwards thru the Zoltar Butthole unleashing 48 min. of Pranica braincramps! What do you get when you turn Beef Stew into Doogie Howser? Crap...YOU GET CRAP!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Data**

For being uncharacteristically slow to respond to attacks
Ben's pick is **Ferengi Guarding the Transporter Room**

For bending over to closely inspect the remote control car sent to distract him
## Trading Cards

It Always Smells A Little WetNot As Ill Fitting As They Should BeCa'hall Me, "S'air"How Cool Is It To Be Single Right Now?Data Has Got To Be So FrustratedWOLVERINES!!!You've Just Been Rescaled!Yeah! I'm Back Baby!
Natural Yeager

## Pod Apperances

Special:WhatLinksHere/Natural Yeager

Biff Yeager, the charming and friendly actor who played Chief Engineer Lieutenant Commander Argyle in only two episodes of TNG, was once tasked with the job of signing a large number of Star Trek trading cards featuring his likeness. He carried out this task effectively, and his cards went out across the globe for eager Argyle fans to find.

Years later, Adam bought both himself and Ben cases of similar Star Trek trading cards, amongst which other signed cards were scattered, and following their reviews of "Where No One Has Gone Before" and "Datalore", the two Argyle-featured episodes, they turned their fancies to finding a Biff Yeager-signed card, AKA a "Natural Yeager."

As more packs were opened over several episodes, it was brought to everyone's attention by a viewer that, in fact, Biff Yeager's signed cards were not included in the sets that Adam and Ben owned, and thus their search for a Natural Yeager would be futile at best.

However, Adam took it upon himself to wildly scour eBay for Biff Yeager signed cards, buying at his own estimate 30 cards in a maddening attempt to artificially inflate the Biff Yeager market. He soon after re-listed one of his cards at a price of $999.00 (but with free shipping). As of this writing, it is still unsold, and is most certainly an Unnatural Yeager.

A viewer listed one of the Yeagers that slipped through Adam's trawl for $998 and, apparently, sold it for that price. The Biff Yeager eBay market remains lucrative, at the very least in the most speculative sense.
TNG 316

Poster by J.J. LendL

Kevin UxbridgeRiker's Consent Fetish

*When Data has a child out of wedlock, the Captain is furious. But when an Admiral from Child Protective Services decides to come take away the bouncing baby android, Picard goes into full blown lawyer mode. What are Riker’s intentions towards Data’s daughter? Can Picard just routinely defy Starfleet? It’s an episode with more Kevin Uxbridge than the Kevin Uxbridge episode.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Daily Double! **Jonathan Frakes**

For his performance when kissed by Lal
## Trading Cards

I'm In Here!None Of The Holes Are Big Enough For AnythingI Don't Need Your Permission...DOG!Living + Doll = LalUnable To Give ConsentI'll Take That Under Advisement Admiral, But Fuck YouIt's Gonna Be Some ShitWhen The Rubber Wears Out, There's No Patching It Up
TNG 516

Worf's spine during his surgery

Loaf

*Have you or any Klingons you know been hurt in a non-banger related incident? Get legal help now! You'd think Worf would be OK with using a warrior's hoverchair since his captain is Professor X.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Back surgery prop? Dr. Russell?**

Unknown. (Discussion devolves into conversation about anal play without resolution)
Ben's pick is **Nurse Ogawa**

For the parsimonious distribution of her lines in this episode in observation of union rules
## Trading Cards

It's Just So PedestrianMade Out Of The Carpet From An Airport LoungeAll His Special "Dad Moments" Are So TerrifyingFramed For Dialogue, But Not DeliveringLet It Rest For 5-10 Minutes Before You Serve ItLoaf Stimulator!His Underpants Have Been FilledWhat Do You Think Klingon Foreskin Looks Like?