McDonald's - Elite Ate with Nicole Byer

"Munch Madness: McDonald's - Elite Ate with Nicole Byer" is Episode 243 of *Doughboys*, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Munch Madness: McDonald's - Elite Ate with Nicole Byer" was released on March 19, 2020.

## Synopsis

The **Tournament of Chompions** approaches the final stretch as Nicole Byer (*Nailed It!*, *Newcomers*) returns to eat through the **Elite Ate**, spelled A-T-E, to decide the ultimate McDonald's menu item. Plus, an artisan root beer Drank or Stank.

## Nick's intro

46 to 33: this was the final score by which the University of Oregon Ducks defeated the Ohio State University Buckeyes in the finale of the first ever men's collegiate basketball championship back in 1939. The 8-team tournament drew rabid crowds, and so the spectacle vs. spectators was dubbed "March Madness" by an Illinois high-school official named Henry V. Porter.

Since those pre-War, pre-jump-shot, pre-shot-clock days, the Tournament doubled in size to 16 teams in 1951, added a corresponding women's tournament in 1982, expanded the men's field to 64 in 1985, and the women's to 64 in 1994, and currently stands at 68 squadrons of uncompensated student-athletes vying for college-basketball's top prize.

But today, in the year of our Lord 2020, with the COVID-19 pandemic sucking all the oxygen out of the air, for the first time ever, the NCAA tournament has been cancelled and the corrupt anti-labor cabal that is the NCAA joins its players in receiving zero pay from the tournament.

However, Munch Madness continues.

And as the initial field of 69 menu items has narrowed to an Elite Ate (spelled A-T-E) of (sesame) Seeds, which Mickey D's bites will survive to the Final Fork?

As our waistlines thicken and the field thins, which saturated fat or high fructose corn syrup-laden dish will survive to have its name potentially inscribed on the most prestigious award in chain-restaurant podcasting, the Dave Thomas Cup?

This week on *Doughboys*: The Elite Ate (spelled A-T-E) of **Munch Madness 2020: The Tournament of Chompions: Mac Attack**!

## Mac Attack Rules

This year's Tournament is a giant bracket of items from the menu at McDonald's.

These are this year's rules:

1. Everyone is here! Sides do not stay on the sidelines, drinks are not in Gatorade jugs on the sidelines.
2. Breakfast items must be available all day.
3. If it's seasonal, it's reasonable, but it has to be available right now. (That is, Shamrock Shake is included, but the McRib is not.) (However, if the McRib or any new item returns to the menu, adjustments can be made.)
4. Dips get the slip. You can use them, but are not part of the evaluation.

## The Commissioner

The Commissioner calls in to declare, under rule 3 above, that two new McDonald's items, the Little Mac and Double Big Mac, shall be entered into the contest.

Mitch also uses the Yusong Resurrection Clause to bring an item back to life for a second chance. Nick declares if Mitch gets to use that, he gets to as well. The Commissioner approves! Thus, in the next episode, both as-yet-undeclared items and the Little Mac and the Double Big Mac will be in the competition.

The Doughboys also decide on where the winning item is to be sent. Mitch's idea is that the winning item is shrunk down and given to the Coronavirus, so it goes away. Nick wants to give the winner to Morgan Spurlock to make a follow-up to *Super Size Me* saying McDonald's is good. Susser's idea was to give the item to the Burger King so he switches sides. Nicole thinks the winning item should be given to Harriet Tubman to reward her hard work.

## *Doughcenter* Recap

"First, there were 32 and now we're down to 16. That's half of that for you math nerds.

This competition is getting delicious! Who will be crowned the winner of 2020 Munch Madness? I don't know! Please stop asking me, Mom!

But now let's get into some of the highlights of what happened on this week's episode.

The action heated up on the last *Doughboys Double* as Lamar Woods joined to judge the Eat 16.

In the Beverages & McCafe Region, the #1 seed Coca-Cola easily defeated the #5 seed Vanilla Shake, and Mitch's Irish heritage helped tip the scales for the #6 seed Shamrock Shake over the #2 seed Chocolate Shake. Thanks for tipping the scales, Mitch. It's the only time you do it.

In the Breakfast Region, the #4 seed Sausage, Egg, and Cheese McGriddles barely squeaked by the #9 seed Chicken McGriddles, and the #3 seed Sausage McMuffin with Egg knocked out the #10 seed Sausage Biscuit.

In the Sweets, Treats, Sides & More Region, the #1 seed Fries continued its win streak in a surprisingly close contest with the #5 Vanilla Cone. And the #7 Hot Fudge Sundae defeated the #3 Hash Browns.

And in the Burgers & Chicken, the #9 seed Double Cheeseburger took out the #4 seed Two Cheeseburgers. And the #6 seed 20-piece Chicken McNuggets defeated the #7 seed Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

Wow. I don't know what's going on. Lamar definitely fucked a lot of that up, if he was the one that was judging things. He's a good friend of mine, but that's wrong. There's no reason that the Sausage, Egg and Cheese McGriddles should not be barely squeaking by the #9 seed Chicken McGriddles. Who the fuck wants a Chicken McGriddle? I'm getting frustrated and I hope you are too. Throw something if you have to!

Well, that's it for another week of **Munch Madness**. As I always say, zip it down, zip it right, there's gonna be a heart attack tonight. And if you haven't heard me say that, again you are listening to the wrong things. Bye!"

## Drank or Stank

In Drank or Stank, The Doughboys have a drink and rate it either 'Drank' or 'Stank.'

For this episode, they try a couple of root beers: Brownie Caramel Cream Root Beer, and Dang! Butterscotch Root Beer.

There is also a bonus Snack or Wack with some cookies from a lady's restaurant called Mozz in Salt Lake City.

 Mike Mitchell
 Nicole Byer

Brownie Caramel Cream Root BeerDang! Butterscotch Root Beer

## The Feedbag

 Mike Mitchell
 Mike Mitchell (for real)
 Nicole Byer

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