HS2

***HS2*** is the title of the seventh chapter of Belinda Blinked 6, and is the chapter covered in the seventh episode of the sixth season of *My Dad Wrote a Porno*, released on 5 July 2021.

## Description

*Belinda gets one step closer to the Tri-Oxy Brillo blueprints as she finally catches up with Mr Hushman the Background Goon in Berlin.*

## Featured Characters

*In order of appearance:*

* Belinda Blumenthal
* Mrs Blumenthal
* Herr Wolfgang Bisch (mentioned only)
* Monty Jim the Pizza Boy (first appearance)
* Señor Zip
* Mr Hushman (first in-the-flesh appearance)
* Hazel (mentioned only)
* Huge man from the Rhine region (first appearance)
* Maeve (in disguise)

## Featured Locations

*In order of appearance:*

* Belinda's Hometown
	+ Blumenthal family home
* Belinda's central London apartment

## Introduction

*Prior to beginning the chapter, Team Porno discuss...*

* James moving house and the seller of the house giving him a list of his new neighbours, particularly marking who is gay
* Jamie recapping the events of the sixth chapter
* Alice and Jamie talking about their love for Mrs Blumenthal and her singing
* Team Porno wondering what on earth HS2, the proposed high-speed train, has to do with Belinda

## Synopsis

Belinda wonders how Bisch is related to her, and Old Mother Blumenthal tells her that Wolfgang is her stepfather's first son from a previous marriage many moons before Mrs Blumenthal's own conception. She says that this explains how she is a coquettish 53, and he is a decomposing 87; it also makes Bisch Belinda's step-uncle, and he has been looking for her since birth. Mrs Blumenthal says that she had always feared when this moment would come, and here it is - today, now, and Belinda is well and truly fucked now that Bisch has found her. Belinda blinks.

As she choo-chooed (perhaps on the HS2) back to her private London paradise, Belinda's mind is in wretching disgust. At home, she drowns her body in soapy suds, attempting to wash away the reality of her birth. As she scrubs and scratches at her beautiful B;B;B; tree tattoo, the doorbell-intercom device chimes. Effing and blinding, Belinda hauls herself from the wetroom and drags her sorry ass to the high-tech hall-based communication contraption. She asks what the caller wants, and the intercom machine says "pizza". Belinda says they can come up any way they choose, telling them that her apartment is "Floor 6, Penthouse 9". Belinda thinks it funny that she hadn't ordered any takeaway, but she is always up for a "Just Meat" delivery any time of day. She waits for her banquet to be brought to her by hanging around the doorframe. When she unlocks the sturdy door's copious security measures she finds a gormless pizza boy, all of 19 and greasy, stood there. He is as blonde as a European beer, young as Febreeze and horny as a ram goat in Ouestrus. Steam clouding from both the pizza box and his crotch, he is shocked that she is naked. With suds falling from her baps and pubic bush-zone, Belinda responds in the affirmative. She asks what his name is, throwing the pizza box to the ground, prompting him to respond that his name is Monty Jim as he gapes at her quintessential tits.

Monty Jim the Pizza Boy's overalls and chef's hat are removed quickly. Belinda's gash is on the lash as it had been a trying 35 hours, and jizz is the poison de jure ce soir. Belinda, almost air-dry, does a headstand, legs akimbo and muff well-and-truly open for business. Standing on a handy leather foot stool, Monty finds a most forgiving angle for entry. He pops into the stranger with a bone-trembling thrust, bonking and breathing all over the shop and is very satisfying speedily. He informs her that he is to cum and, with comprehension, Belinda repositions herself to her knees. Taking his fizzing cock in her mouth and she drinks from his weeping willow as he loses control. Despite his age, career and achievements, Monty is a man who knows how to stuff Belinda's deep pan and knead her calzone. Belinda had felt secure in opting for a traditional base, but is tingled by the extra toppings - affectionate hair stroking, oral encouragement and bukkake. As Monty claps out next to the CD rack, Belinda gets quite a shock. The pizza box looks like it is pulsating; opening it, she's shocked to find the plastic ring divider thing buzzing. She presses the centre, hoping it would shut up so Monty wouldn't wake up and claim his tip, but just as she did Señor Zip's gorgeous mouth-sounds ring out through mozzarella cheese and slices of pineapple. He tells her that Mr Hushman has entered into the World Uno Championships in Berlin proper (taking place that night), and Belinda blinks. She also gasps, and the Spanish gentleman tells her to get a move on.

Without a second to lose, she gently wakes Monty up, gives him the tip, shows him out, packs her bags, orders her houseplants, sets the security code and leaves her apartment still naked. Sadly for Belinda, her flight is delayed and even a frantic Wi-Fi call to Hazel over Hanover can't help. By the time she lands in the centre of German productivity, she has almost certainly missed the tournament - which is a pity for Belinda is an assassin at Uno. At the carousel of false hopes, a huge man from the Rhine region leans on Belinda's empty luggage trolly, telling her that she may have missed the game but she can still win the jackpot, stamping a sexy stamp on her hand. Belinda blinks. The design thoughtfully has the dress code and address included, so once she finally gets her blasted case she dolls up in the hotel. It's a nice one, with a chandelier and 24-hour full-menu room service.

A couple of hours of darkness later and Belinda exits her private limo in crystal-encrusted chainmail. She thanks the driver as she slinks to the Sexy Berlin Torture Garden Party. Her stamp is viewed and she's in within a few seconds. It's dark, and smells of Belinda's favourite scent - fresh sex. As she delves deeper into the madness she witnesses sex tourists making body-casts out of hot wax - a boob, a ball, an anus. Scanning the room with her special retina-sensitive shades, she wonders where Mr Hushman is but suddenly, her shades go into overdrive as small neon typewriting words flash across her eyes telling her that the background goon is there in disguise. Belinda Below tells Belinda Above that this is typical for goons - always hiding and not facing reality. She works her way through the darkness, guided by her special retina-sensitive shades, and suddenly they spell out the word "JACKPOT" with a little binary cartoon of Señor Zip saying good luck in a speech bubble. Belinda is a woman of the world, and not easily second-footed, but before her is a man dressed in the most unusual getup.

Obviously she has sex-perience on the London getup scheme so she is no stranger to a costume, but this lump of fluff before her is commitment made real. To fuck a rather large mouse would be a departure for any human, and Belinda is anything if human. Being a game-girl, she flashes him her fluorescent smile. In response, the man-mouse speaks with the highest-pitched voice Belinda's ears have ever been privy to: "I am man, here for fun". Belinda responds, "I am woman, here for sin", secretly hoping the city dogs are all tied up. Hushman tells her that he is bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and while Belinda often enjoys oversized body parts of the body, but these buck teeth look nasty. Belinda marvels at the dual-use kinky mask and protection from the Berlin chill and Hushman laughs as he leads her to a private-ish corner for a rodential pounding.

As he gets out his massive piece of cheese, Belinda stops the proceedings, telling him that this fluff will get into every hole as Chinese manufacturing screams corners-cut, and although she is to raise this at her next East Asia Cooking Conference she simply can't do this right now. She says to be like her as her glittering chainmail falls to the ground, telling him to strip. The mousy Hushman is surprisingly obedient, and as his massive bodybuilders' body squeezes out of the animal's skin, Belinda gets wet downwind. But she isn't stupid - she is really hunting about for any sign of the blueprints. Pretending to find a hanger, she discreetly inspected the mouse suit - nothing. Mr Hushman chirps, asking what she's doing, but Belinda pretends to look at the label to find the manufacturer - GwangJoe. Next is to search every inch of this background goon's person, and as they fuck like a couple of ferrets in a field her hands go up and in everywhere. Just then, a sultry stranger slinks towards them - this is standard practice at a sexy garden torture party, and Belinda knows the saying well - "two's company, three's a fuckfest", and boy-o, the sex is wild. Belinda could feel 20 fingers and 20 toes at any moment and writhes in sucking off Hushman while licking out the third wheel. She particularly likes the bit where Hushman yaps in ecstasy while fucking her titties while she brushes her snatch against the other pussy present. But Belinda couldn't believe her vagina - it had never lied to her before, but there's a first time for everything. This fanny is neither fish nor foul, but there is a zing that reminds her of a tastebud explosion on a beach which led to a salty ocean. No mistake, she had tasted this vulva before. Her mind flicks through her booklet of sexual encounters, fishing for identity, and she blinks.

## Notes

* Team Porno get many a giggle from the fact that there are somehow nine penthouses in Belinda's apartment complex.
* Alice talks about a time where a stranger buzzed her intercom in her flat and she went downstairs and found him rifling through everybody's pigeonholes, showing that Belinda should be careful around strangers. She sent him away after he said the name of an apartment that didn't exist.
* Rocky uses "Just Meat" instead of the actual delivery company "Just Eat".
* James finds out that Febreeze is actually 25 years old so the pizza boy is actually younger than Febreeze. He also finds out Ouestrus is a period of fertility and sexual activity for female mammals.
* The introduction of Monty Jim the Pizza Boy makes him the second man named Monty in the series, after Monty the Anciently Housemaster of the Keys.
* Team Porno also wonder if Uno will sponsor them now that Rocky has brought it up in the books.