The Darkness Keeps Growing (Transcript)

This is the transcript for Episode 13 of Season 1 of The Magical Five, The Darkness Keeps Growing.

Make3.0Shine hides behind a wall.

Shine: Okay, can I mention how crazy this is?

Pop Tart: (translated) What?

Shine: Some time ago, we were all scared of Dark, now, some kak-loving security is distracting him.

Pop Tart stares.

Pop Tart: (translated) Seems legit.

Cute Eyes: I’m ice-cream-loving! Should I help?

FairyTailLover01 stares at Cute Eyes.

Make3.0Shine has a lightbulb above his head.

Shine: THAT’S IT! I’VE COME UP WITH MY NEW PLAN!

Lover: IS IT A NEW RECIPEH?!

Cute Eyes stares.

Cute Eyes: Nope. A new PLAN!

Make3.0Shine and Pop Tart stare.

Shine: What? SOMEBODY GET ICE CREAM!

FairyTailLover01 sighs.

FairyTailLover01 teleports away.

FairyTailLover01 then teleports back with ice cream.

Cute Eyes gasps.

Shine: MORE! WE NEED MORE!

FairyTailLover01 gives it to Cute Eyes.

FairyTailLover01 teleports away and comes back with several gallons of ice cream.

Pop Tart: (translated) Uh...this can't possibly be good. If he eats too much ice cream, he goes into...

Shine: DERP MODE! MY PLAN!

Cute Eyes...already has a derpy face. But it could still get derpier.

Shine: MORE...!

FairyTailLover01 sighs and does the thing again.

FairyTailLover01 has too much ice cream and collapses. Cute Eyes eats all of it in...maybe five bites.

Cute Eyes is in full derp mode.

Pop Tart: (translated) That’s not good.

Shine: This is perfect! He’ll break RIGHT though the door!

Cute Eyes walks up to the door and continuously...just...walks into it. Over. And over. And over again.

Make3.0Shine facepalms.

Make3.0Shine whispers.

Shine: (whispering) Smash. Through.

Cute Eyes pokes a hole in the door with his horn...he's stuck.

Shine: I was afraid of this, but...we need more ice cream.

FairyTailLover01 is sitting on the floor.

Lover: ...dang it.

Pop Tart: (translated) Master, that’s too dangerous!

Shine: It’s our only option.

FairyTailLover01 teleports away and comes back with literally 1000 gallons of ice cream. And now...she's on the floor.

Make3.0Shine feeds Cute Eyes the ice cream.

Mark: Lover, are you okay?!

Lover: ...1000 gallons...

Shine: COME ON CUTE EYES!!!

Cute Eyes continuously rams into the door with more force than before. It...actually sounds like it breaks a bit.

Shine: I BELIEVE! It's...not working.

Lover: I swear, if I have to get more ice cream...

Kaos is getting fed up.

Cute Eyes destroys the door.

There is literally a second door.

Shine: ARE YOU SERIOUS?! WHO PUTS TWO DOORS?!

Pop Tart: (translated) Welp, we tried. Roll credits.

STARRING:

Shine: NO! It's not over!

Make3.0Shine punches the door and his hand falls off.

Lover: SHINE!

FairyTailLover01 fixes Shine a new hand.

Kaos: ENOUGH! YOU FOOLS ARE SO INCOMPETENT! LET ME SHOW YOU MORONS HOW IT'S DONE!

Kaos destroys the door easily.

Make3.0Shine's jaw drops.

Lover: Well okay then.

Markiplier facepalms.

Make3.0Shine, Pop Tart and Kaos walk in.

FairyTailLover01, Cute Eyes and Mark follow right behind.

Robot: HALT, HUMANS!!! I, THE GREAT NAMELESS ROBOT, WILL GIVE YOU PUZZL-

Make3.0Shine destroys the robot.

Some creepy guy starts laughing.

Fairy King: You really think you can just come in here that easily?!

Shine: I was hoping.

Fairy King: I assume you want your friends! WELL, it won't be just as easy as walking in and getting them! If you wanna get your friends, you'll have to get past me first!

Pop Tart: (translated) Welp, now would be a good time to roll credits.

STARRING:

FairyTailLover01 as herself-

Lover: WAIT!

Cute Eyes is already past the Fairy King.

Fairy King: W-W-WHAAAT?!

Shine: Oh wait, Cute Eyes is small.

Make3.0Shine, Pop Tart and Kaos walk past the Fairy King.

Cute Eyes releases Kirito with his horn, but not Sulley and Mike.

Pop Tart: (translated) Oh, and by the way...

Fairy King: NOT SO FAST!!!

Pop Tart slaps the Fairy King.

Fairy King throws swords at Shine and Kaos.

Fairy King throws Pop Tart at Lover, knocking her over.

Fairy King: NOO! YOU...YOU...!

Announcer: STRIKE!

Markiplier just kinda stands there casually.

Shine: Mark, help us!

Kirito grabs one of the swords and throws it to Mark.

Kirito: Fight with me!

Mark: E-eh?! Okay!

Kirito: Oberon, you won't win this time!

Oberon: ...I mean...I didn't win last time, either.

Mark: ...just let Kiri-bro be cool.

Kirito: Kiri-bro? Really?

Pop Tart snickers.

Pop Tart: (translated) Kiri-bro.

King Oberon pulls out a couple of swords and continuously spins in circles...not hitting anyone.

Kirito and Mark just kinda stand there staring at him.

Kirito: ...so you're Lover's friends, right?

Lover: Yep, these are my friends! That's Shine and Kaos over there, that's Cute Eyes...with the derpy smile...and this is Pop Tart.

Mark: ...and me?

Lover: Oh right, that's Mark. He's cool.

Kaos: Eh? You consider me...a friend?

Lover: Well, you're helping us out! So until you give me a reason not to...I'll call you a friend!

FairyTailLover01 smiles a bit.

Markiplier pouts a bit and throws his sword at Oberon.

Kaos: Uh...thanks. I guess even evil needs a friend?

Oberon: AHAHA! I HAVE AN EVIL PLAN UP MY SLEEVE!

King Oberon pulls a literal plan out of his sleeve.

Pop Tart: (translated) Ba dum tss.

Oberon: You can't hurt me! My pain sensors are on 0!

???: Ahem.

Oberon: E-eh?

Sulley and Mike are still hanging around.

Cute Eyes is ever so slowly poking them to try to get them out.

Kirito steals Oberon's plan.

Kirito: AND now you don't have a plan.

Mike: Really? You freed Kirito so fast but you hate us?

Make3.0Shine removes the chains.

Cute Eyes: I DON'T HATE YOU! I AM SIMPLY DERP!

Oberon: WAIT, NO, MY MASTER PLAN!

Kirito tears the plan as Mark attacks Oberon.

Kaos stares at Sulley and Mike.

Kaos: Weren't you two under my control?

Sulley and Mike: GET HIM!!!

Make3.0Shine stops Sulley and Mike.

Shine: He's with us, guys.

Oberon: NOOO!

Mark: Guys! We need to get out of here before-

Oberon: JOKES ON YOU! I HAVE SEVERAL MORE PLANS UP MY SLEEVE!

Kirito: ...RUN!

Pop Tart: (translated) What? Your arms? Ba dum tss!

King Oberon pushes Mark off and several plans fall out of his sleeves.

Oberon: AHA! MY PLANS ARE NEVERENDING!

Mark: ...LITERALLY RUN!

Make3.0Shine, Pop Tart and Kaos literally run.

FairyTailLover01, Cute Eyes and Mark literally run.

Kirito looks at Sulley and Mike.

Sulley and Mike literally run.

Kirito: Oh.

Kirito literally runs.

Make3.0Shine runs into a tall, dark man.

Shine: Watch where you're going, Dark! Oh wait.

Pasta: COME BACK HERE!

Kirito hides behind Lover. She facepalms.

Dark: ...how exactly did they escape?

Shine: Great job, Kirito! You're useless!

DatPastaFangirl emerges in a rage, sweaty and angry.

Cute Eyes: IT WAS ME! DIIIOOO!

Lover: Oh gosh, Cute Eyes did the Dio meme.

Kirito pulls out a sword.

Kirito: FITE ME!

Darkiplier uses magic on Kirito and throws him against a wall.

Dark: ...who's next?

DatPastaFangirl attempts to get behind Mark and trip him. She fails.

Pasta: Hey there...umm...I TOTALLY wasn't in on this.

Darkiplier throws her against a wall with magic.

Sulley: Hey, leave them alone, jerk!

Dark: Ugh.

Dark hands come out of the ground and squeeze Sulley tightly.

Mike: Sulley!

Mike tries to help Sulley out.

Pop Tart: (translated) I'll handle him, master!

Shine: No, you won't.

Dark: Pasta. You were in on this, eh?

Pasta: No! Well...maybe a little...

Darkiplier tries to hurt Pasta, but Lover stops him.

Lover: You've been mean to her enough! You are NOT gonna hurt anymore of my friends!

A dark cage falls on top of Pop Tart.

A dark ice cream cone appears and Cute Eyes eats it.

Pasta: Oh dang.

Shine: What is your master plan, again?

Dark: Get Mark, corrupt him, profit.

Shine: You have a ton of soldiers...why do you even need Mark? He's just a YouTuber.

Dark: Oh and uh...you guys are kind of idiots.

Darkiplier pulls Jack out from behind him.

Dark: You know...if I corrupt Mark, I become more powerful. If I corrupt Jack...Anti may return. If Lover had just joined me, you wouldn't even be in this mess right now.

Lover: I'm not gonna join you, Dark...not now...not ever.

Mark: And you're never gonna take me alive!

Dark: ...I don't need you alive.

Mark: What?

Pasta: What do you mean, you don't need them alive?

Dark: I never said any of them needed to be alive. Honestly...I could absorb all of their power. Dead or not.

Sulley: I think he's gonna corrupt them.

Mike: Finally. Something smart.

Dark: Ugh. I don't have time for this. It's a full moon out. I...I will be out now.

Darkiplier grabs Jack and Mark, disappearing into the darkness.

Lover: ...I honestly should've seen that coming...he IS Darkiplier.

Shine: NO! We have to get them!

Lover: I'll find out where they are...

FairyTailLover01 has an idea.

Lover: Okay...I have a completely insane idea...but hear me out on this...I need you guys to obstruct the moon.

Make3.0Shine, Pop Tart, Sulley, Mike and Kaos stare.

Shine: Well then.

Pop Tart: (translated) What is this, Despicable Me?

Pasta: Don't get me wrong, I'm all for destroying my boss, but isn't the moon...really big?

Lover: You don't need to obstruct ALL of it. Honestly...you could probably just obstruct the house. Mansion...whatever we're in. The moonlight seems to give Dark power. I mean...he did say something about a full moon, right?

Cute Eyes: Ohhh...yeah! He did!

Kaos: Well...we need a rocket.

Make3.0Shine points at Pop Tart.

Pop Tart: (translated) (sighs) Dang it.

Lover: Meanwhile...Pasta, do you know your way around this place?

Pasta: Yeah, I can get you wherever you need to be.

Lover: Okay...then you'll stay with me. We need to stop Dark from doing...whatever he's gonna do.

Cute Eyes: What about me?

Lover: You'll have to go with Shine and the others. I think the less of us here, the better, honestly. Shine, do you think you can handle this?

Shine: Well...uh...I have gone to the moon before...a lot of times...I meet up with my friend there.

Lover: Okay...good luck. Be careful, alright?

FairyTailLover01 briefly hugs Shine before looking over to Pasta.

Shine: Pfft...I got this! Maybe...

Pop Tart: (translated) Alright, master...ready?

Kaos: WAIT! Do I go to the moon?

Lover: ...I'm honestly worried you'll break the moon. Shine, I'll let you decide that.

Shine: Kaos...if you DARE do anything to the moon...I will leave you up there.

Kaos: YAY! I've never been to the moon.

Kaos is fanboying.

Sulley and Mike: What about us?

Lover: Erm...Sulley...Mike...you two should probably...uh...go with Shine? I dunno. Shine, what do you think?

Shine: Uh...Sulley, Mike, stay with Lover. You're monsters, so you have a lot of experience hiding.

Mike: Alright, we can do that.

Lover: Alright...should we split up now?

Shine: Yeah. Just...be careful.

Lover: You too.

Make3.0Shine, Pop Tart and Kaos put on astronaut suits.

FairyTailLover01 hugs him one last time and looks at the others.

Kirito: Uhh...

Lover: OH! You can come with us. Let's go.

Cute Eyes puts on an astronaut suit as well.

Shine: OFF WE GO!

Pop Tart goes to space with Shine, Cute Eyes and Kaos on her back.

Pop Tart: (translated) Jeez, you guys are light!

Shine: Yeah, haha, very funny.

Pop Tart lands on the moon.

Kaos: So...what are we meant to do?

Cute Eyes: Obstruct the moon?

Make3.0Shine looks in a dictionary.

Shine: Oh, okay. Let's just move it out of the way!

Cute Eyes: How?! It's not like any of us have a horn to do it with or anything!

???: MWAHAHAHA!

Pop Tart: (translated) Hey! Cute Eyes' mistake isn't funny, jerk!

???: You have fallen into my trap! My moon-y trap!

Shine: Get a better name for a trap, weirdo.

King Oberon appears...his wings sticking out the back of his astronaut suit.

Oberon: You thought you defeat MEEE?!

Kaos: We were hoping.

Oberon: Luckily, I have more tricks! Only this time, they aren't in my sleeves.

Shine: What, are they in your socks?

King Oberon takes a plan out of his shoes.

Oberon: WHAT?! How did you know?!

King Oberon tosses the plan and pulls out a sword.

Oberon: If you're here to move the moon, you'll have to get through me first!

Shine: Why are you doing this, again?

Oberon: Because! Dark said he'd give me a reward if I helped him!

King Oberon makes the kawaii face.

Pop Tart: (translated) I assume you don't want kak?

Oberon: E-eh? Kak...

King Oberon shakes his head.

A sound is heard from Earth after the word 'kak' was said.

Shine: Alright, let's just fight then.

Make3.0Shine takes out his guns.

Oberon: Yes! Let's!

King Oberon pulls out...a box.

Pop Tart: (translated) Uh...a box.

Kaos: NO! I'M ALLERGIC TO BOXES!

King Oberon throws the box at Kaos.

Kaos faints.

Pop Tart: (translated) Good job, Kaos. You're useless.

Make3.0Shine blasts Oberon.

King Oberon grabs the box and puts it down first.

Oberon: Aha! The blast may have hit me, but this little box here makes me feel no pain! Well...5% pain. I can't just never feel pain. But I can only feel 5% pain.

Shine: Oh, that's because this is loaded with apple juice.

Make3.0Shine changes it to acid.

Oberon: ...no...my box shall protect me!

King Oberon hugs his box, a sword pointed at Shine.

Oberon: Now...you will feel 1000% pain!

A really loud Japanese song plays when he says 1000%.

Cute Eyes pokes Oberon.

Oberon: Aha! I will now throw my wrath onto you, little unicorn whale thingy! And your pain will hurt so badly-

Cute Eyes sprays water out of his horn at the box, making it go flying away.

Pop Tart does a slow clap.

Oberon: N...no! My...my box!!!

King Oberon bursts into tears.

Oberon: NOW WE ALL FEEL EQUAL AMOUNTS OF PAAAIIIN!

Cute Eyes: I'll make you a deal!

Oberon: ...eh?

Cute Eyes: One. Stop calling me a unicorn whale! I am a narwhal! A completely legit animal! Two...gimme ice cream.

Oberon: ...is that it?

Cute Eyes: Yep.

Pop Tart facepalms.

Shine: No deal.

Cute Eyes: EHHH?!

Make3.0Shine kicks Oberon off the moon.

Make3.0Shine hands Cute Eyes the ice cream.

Oberon: NOOO!

Cute Eyes: YEEESSS!

Shine: Job well done, now let's move this moon!

Cute Eyes: But how?! None of us have magical horns!!! I already said that.

Make3.0Shine looks at Cute Eyes and points at his horn.

Cute Eyes: OH! Okay! So what do I do?! Do I go...HI-YAH! MOON-A-ROO TO ANOTHER PLACE-A-ROO! Noo...MOON-A-ROO TO ANOTHER PLACE-A-RACE!

Pop Tart: (translated) Just do...move the moon out of the way please.

Cute Eyes' horn starts to glow.

Cute Eyes: (gasp) IT'S WORKING!!!

Shine: You can do it!

The moon actually begins to move.

Cute Eyes: I need inspirational music! Someone! Sing the song of my people!

Shine: Narwhals, narwhals, swimming in the ocean...

Loud annoying singing is heard from Earth.

Loud Singing: NARWHALS! NARWHALS! SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN!

Shine: DANGIT, I WANTED TO DO THAT!

Cute Eyes: YES! MOON-A-ROO TO ANOTHER PLACE-A-RACE!!!

Random narwhal floats past them in space.

Random Narwhal: ...hey man, the moon's moving.

Moon blasts off and stops once it's next to Mars.

Pop Tart: (translated) Buddy, you did it!

Pop Tart hugs Cute Eyes.

Cute Eyes goes full derp mode when he notices the ice cream is still there.

Cute Eyes: I DID IT?! WOO HOO!

Shine: Alright, let's go home! Uh...Kaos...

Kaos: Boxes...boxes...

Make3.0Shine picks up Kaos.

Make3.0Shine and Kaos climb on Pop Tart.

Cute Eyes gets on top of all of them...in a superhero pose.

Pop Tart speeds back down to Earth, singing Nyan Cat.

(Meanwhile...)

Pasta: The way to Dark's "Lab" is this way. (points to the hallway at the end of the jail)

Make3.0Shine, Pop Tart, Cute Eyes and Kaos walk in.

Shine: We're back.

Lover: Alright, so did you move the moon- Oh gosh, why is Cute Eyes full derp?

Pasta: You didn't destroy it, right? RIGHT?!

Cute Eyes: ME MOVE MOON!

Shine: Yeah...we didn't destroy it.

Lover: Okay...but where is it?

Pop Tart: (translated) It's next to Mars.

Lover: Oh...that's...completely normal.

FairyTailLover01 stares intensely at them.

Kirito: I just realized, like...I feel bad for any surfers out tonight.

Lover: ...surfers are the last of our concerns right now...anyways. Let's go, shall we? Pasta, you can lead the way...since you know your way around this place better than we do.

Shine: You know there's a big map here, don't you?

Make3.0Shine points at a big tablet with a map.

Lover: Oh.

FairyTailLover01 facepalms.

Lover: ...let's just go.

Pasta: I've been replaced by technology.

FairyTailLover01 slowly walks down the hallway.

Lover: Oh, and Kirito...you're gonna need to distract the soldiers.

Shine: Seems fair.

Kirito: Well...I mean...I do have this.

Kirito creates an absolute giant.

Kaos: JEALOUS!

Kirito: I call that Gleam Eyes. He's just an illusion though. He won't hurt anyone.

Lover: But...it can get the soldiers away from all of us so we can sneak right on by.

Shine: Illusions. Got it.

Pasta: Alright. Let's go.

DatPastaFangirl follows Lover who left first and eventually takes the lead to open a door into the main part of the mansion.

All of the soldiers were playing Uno.

Soldier 1: Uno!

Soldier 2: You still have, like, twenty cards left!

Soldier 3: Uh, guys-

Soldier 1 and Soldier 2: SHUT UP, GARRY!

Soldier 3/Garry: ...just thought I'd mention there are intruders.

Soldier 1: Oh.

Soldier 2: ...OH!

DatPastaFangirl waves.

Kirito turns himself into Gleam Eyes all of a sudden.

Cute Eyes: CAN I PLAY UNO TOO?!

Soldiers: NO!

Shine: Hey guys! We're new soldiers!

Soldiers: Oh.

Soldier 667: Well...I'm the leader here. Call me...667.

Pasta: 667! You know me! I was here for, like...a week!

667: You must take the test again! You left us before you could complete the test, 987 - Codename Pasta.

Cute Eyes: 987 IS MAH FRIEND!

Pop Tart: (translated) Oh, I'll test how strong the bones in your face are when they meet my fist-

Make3.0Shine stops Pop Tart.

Shine: Be quiet, prisoner.

667: ...I like your attitude!

Pop Tart: (translated) Don't mention it.

667: Anywho. You're only true soldiers if you know how to win...

667 throws down a board game.

667: MONOPOLY! I shall quiz you on this wonderful game.

DatPastaFangirl pulls out a top hat.

Pasta: I was born ready.

Lover: ...I literally cannot think of a more boring-I MEAN, MORE INTERESTING QUIZ!

Make3.0Shine gets his monocle.

Shine: Bring it!

FairyTailLover01 grabs...a pair of black pants.

Pop Tart grabs a...grey moustache?

Cute Eyes grabs...an ice cream cone with a top hat on it.

667: Okay. Question number one! What character does the dog hate most?

Pop Tart backs off.

Pop Tart: (translated) Is it...cat?

667: Why of course!

Pop Tart hides in a box.

Kaos: AAH, BOXES!

667: You've passed the test, 991! Now shaddup while I quiz the others. Okay! 992! What did the racecar say to the top hat when he went to jail?!

Lover: ...which of us is 992 again?

667: ...the horn.

Cute Eyes: OH OKIE!

Cute Eyes contemplates life.

Cute Eyes: IT WAS..."Oh Mr. Top Hat! If you would please use a Get Out of Jail Free Card on me, I would be forever in your debt!"

667: CORRECT!

Lover: Wait, what? How?

Shine: Don't. Question. Anything.

667: Okay...987! What did Mrs. Thimble say to Mr. Thimble when he betrayed her?

Pasta: (sweats) She said...you really NEEDLE to be a better person! Cause he's a thimble...heh.

FairyTailLover01 stares intensely.

667: ...CORRECT!

Make3.0Shine is trying not to question life, but failing.

DatPastaFangirl lets out a huge gasp of air.

667: 993! 993, would you please tell me who left the town when cat showed up?

667 is staring at Shine.

Shine: Uh...the mouse! Ha...ha...

Make3.0Shine sweats.

667: Wrong.

FairyTailLover01 facepalms and whispers to Shine.

Lover: (whispering) It's a type of ore, that is also a household item.

Shine: Oh, okay!

Make3.0Shine whispers back.

Shine: (whispering) Am I allowed to knock him out?

Lover: Ugh...it's the iron, 667.

Shine: OH! IT'S THE IRON! I'M A CLEVER CLOGGS!

667: Correct, 994! You too, 993! I'm proud of you two!

Make3.0Shine shines...literally.

667 looks at Gleam Eyes.

667: WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN THE CAT AND THE DOG GET IN AN AUCTION THAT THE TOP HAT HELD?!

Gleam Eyes: ...It's Raining Cats and Dogs.

667: AAAND?!

Gleam Eyes: Better Top Your Hat Off, Racecar. I Am Watching You.

667: SO THE FULL NAME WAAAS?!

Gleam Eyes: ...It's Raining Cats and Dogs...You Better Top Your Hat Off, Racecar. I Am Watching You.

667: CORRECT, 995! You all pass! You may go do whatever now.

667 completely ignores Sulley and Mike.

Make3.0Shine whispers.

Shine: (whispering) Well done, guys! You're very sneaky!

Kaos: He didn't test me either! I'm too good for him!

Pop Tart: (translated, mumbling) Or maybe too short for him...

Pasta: C'mon! The door's down here! (goes to the back of the main entryway and to another hallway with weird sounds coming out of it)

FairyTailLover01, Cute Eyes and Gleam Eyes follow her.

Make3.0Shine and everyone else follows.

The group passes by a spot in the wall with a hole in the side of it. Pasta presses a finger through the hole and touches a button, which releases a stairway down into Dark's lair.

Shine: Huh. Finger recognition.

Lover: Good thing we're friends with you, 987 - I mean...Pasta.

FairyTailLover01 shakes her head.

Lover: Gosh, I'm corrupted by those soldiers...help.

Shine: Don't get too corrupted. That Monopoly game was boring...and barely Monopoly.

Lover: Yeah...667...he seemed familiar.

Shine: What do you mean?

Lover: He...he reminded me of someone I used to know.

Shine: Who?

Lover: ...it's...it's nothing. Don't worry about it.

FairyTailLover01 seems...sad, actually.

The group is interrupted by a loud thump in the basement-lair.

Pasta: We should go.

Lover: Yeah. Let's go.

DatPastaFangirl leads the way.

Pasta: (while walking down the stairs) This reminds me of this one show I used to watch about three kids in a basement...

Lover: Ooh! You watched that too?!

Pasta: Yeah, t was Lab Mice or something-(stops talking)

Shine: Hmm...careful. I hear someone. We could end up in a Chase scene.

Darkiplier is down there, Mark and Jack both in chains...they seem angry.

Jack: Please...don't bring him back...he's tried so many times to kill me...