Quest 3: Finders Keepers

A goblin-bitten messenger from Blighthouse arrives in Gormenghast seeking aid from the Knights of Groan--the goblins dwelling in the Rust Mines are growing more brazen, and have salvaged the wreckage of a treasure ship headed to port, leaving no survivors. The Knights are away, escorting Princess Fuchsia to Tomefast, so the messenger entrusts you with this quest: slay the goblins, and you're welcome to keep any of the stolen treasure you can recover.

Malbeca the Alchemist, Wally the Wizard, Krain the Barbarian, Tad the Thief, Dank Maim the Fighter, Lil Soo the Cleric, and Murf the Paladin leave the castle city of Gormenghast, and embark for the port town of Blighthouse, where the messenger has promised an escort of rowboats will ferry them to the mouth of the Rust Mines.

On the outskirts of Gormenghast, an abandoned cabin catches the treasure-seeking eye of Krain, who ventures inside for a look-see. His barbarian eyes find no treasure, but his barbarian feet do find a pit! Krain falls, and determined to not leave empty-handed, continues searching, only for tumble into an even deeper pit filled with snakes! The party loses sight of the barbarian, and continue on without him.

On the road outside of town, Dank is assaulted by a gang of thieves. He chooses to fight instead of handing over his riches. The brigands cut him with their blades, leaving him to bleed. He is wounded but carries on.

The gang pass through the streets of Blighthouse on their way to the docks. Despite being a busy port town, the buildings are shabby, barnacles cover anything near the water, and a general malaise hangs in the air. Sullen crewmen row them to the beach outside the mines, where they see ruins of a ship, anything of value stripped, even the figurehead.

   Before them are 3 entrances to the mines. Signs of absconded cargo and goblin footprints are evident, leading into each entrance. Deep ruts in the sand from scores of crates and chests dragged by as many goblins lead into the middle entrance, while the western entrance has less, and the eastmost entrance has less still, only a few goblin tracks can be seen there. Hoping for the greatest reward, the group decide on the middle entrance, and delve into the briny depths of the Rust Mines.

Almost immediately, however, a sneaking goblin mugged Li'l Soo and stole a valuable holy water! She lovingly nicknamed the thief "Gobbo Fuckface," and pursued him into the darkness. Wally spied where most of the stolen treasure was secured: behind an iron porticus. Bashing against the rusty bars proved useless.

Dank ventures down a corridor, and is set upon by a colony of hermit crabs clad in bits of rusted armor. Their claws dig into his flesh!

Murf and Tad round the corner, assist the fighter, and continue the exploration. Murf finds a pickaxe and uses it to clear some rubble. However, he opens the lair of a Gargoyle! Murf ducks into a goblin workshop, while the Gargoyle rampages down the hall to terrorize Tad, who is currently hallucinating on magic mushrooms. He lashes out frantically with his shortsword, and manages to wound the Gargoyle, while Wally on the other side of the mines, summons a Unicorn to impale the demonic creature. In the monster's lair is a trapped chest! Murf is incinerated by a fiery fissure, but discovers a strange contraption: Dragon's Breath.

In the workshop, Murf encounters two oozes, and cast a spell of judgement upon one, crippling its defenses. They are vanquished. Cooling in the forge is a weapon crafted from the materials salvaged from the wreck: A Yeoman's Fork.

Krain encounters a room where a orc lords over two goblins. The group has recovered a soggy chair from the wreckage, and the orc has adopted it as his throne. Krain climbs atop a crate to do battle, and the orc, not to be outdone, drags the throne across the room to even the odds. However, all are slain before Krain's might. He continues the rampage by bashing in all the furniture, finding a bit of gold socked away in the crevices of the chair's cushions.

Our Barbarian continues into the next room where he interrupts a goblin Thanksgiving feast--a spread of pilfered provisions is kicked aside as Krain leaps on the table and drives his axe into the skulls of all the dinner guests. More furniture smashing.

Li'l Sue conjures up a Hand of Glory to open the treasure vault, and Wally claims the treasure: a Belt of Ogre Strength, and a crate of wine, and a wooden figurehead of a woman the goblins pried from the wrecked ship. It seems to have been repurposed for dubious intent.

In the adjoining passage, Malbeca encounters a Fimir brandishing her own weapon: Alchemist's Fire! He chuckles to himself, and approaches her and Li'l Sue, and detonates the volatile concoction. The explosion engulfs the creature, as well as Malbeca. Both still survive, however Malbeca makes quick work on the Fimir, adding his flesh to her collection of monster samples saved in her staff.

Lil'l Sue catches up with her thief, "Gobbo Fuckface," hoping to recover her stolen holy water. She throws a dagger, but misses, and Gobbo claims another treasure for himself. He scampers away, and is able to escape the mines.

Hermit crabs scuttle toward the exit, and the tide begins to seep in. As the company make their way to higher ground, seawater rises to their knees. They are able to escape with a good share of treasure, and a new nemesis, "Gobbo Fuckface!"