Gold Pilot

**Crazy Noisy Bizarre Town** is the debut episode of Tomorrow's Underwear.

## Plot

After numerous complaints about laundry not being done, and dishes not being done, and the refrigerator needing cleaned out, and the fact that one of them should probably learn to actually cook soon, the gang had nearly had it.

Instead of learning anything productive, Sol merely "found a whiteboard on the side of the street" and had lugged it home. His intent was to begin a to-do list, which would expedite their procrastination process tenfold.

*Omi found the place. None of us thought that we could really afford the rent, but... It doesn't seem like that's been an issue. Our landlord must have kicked the bucket or something. No one's come around in quite some time. I guess it's not really our business, but... I'm kind of concerned for the guy.*

*I'm mainly doing this because... Well, hey. I get to hang out with my friends for college credit.*

*I think Brian was bribed with food... And I think Sol is just legitimately crazy. Or lonely. He's the one who came up with this whole living arrangement in the first place.*

A gravelly voice choked - more of a bark, actually - through from the other side of the phone. "Hey, this that... Saul guy? Hire a hero type deal?"

Prime looked over across the room. Sol, Hass, and Omi were still fidgeting around with the whiteboard. Omi was trying to hold it back against the wall, using his own back to do so. Hass was trying to urge Sol to keep the whiteboard straight, and Sol claimed he was trying his best, but every time he pounded the hammer and nail against the wall, the thing unstraightened itself. He eventually got fed up with it all and just gave the hammer to Hass, exclaiming that this whole ordeal had made him so frustrated that he was going to ask Brian for new hentai recommendations.

As such, with Sol being occupied, Prime decided it was best to assume his identity for this phone call. "Umm... Yeah, sure. This is Sol. What's your issue?"

"Listen, eh, uh... I know this guy, alright? He's got these... stolen goods. You know me, and - "

"Actually, I don't really know you."

"Well, listen up, kid, now you do. I don't want the government to see exactly what I've got-"

"We don't handle child pornography," was Prime's immediate response. He prepared to hang up.

"Oh, no, no! Nothing like that. It's just an unregistered.... An unregistered data collection device. One of the old servers from Facebook, yeah, that's what it is... I just want it back, man. It's got photos of my kids on that thing, you know, not in a sexual way or nothin', and I ain't seen those kids in years, ever since my ex-wife Karen up and left me and took 'em with her. I just wanna see those kids again, man! You gotta help me out and get that server back for me. This guy's off lugging it around, doin' who-knows-what with it-"

Prime let out a sigh and relented. He shoved his journal to the side and grabbed a discarded store receipt, before prompting the man for his contact information.

A few moments passed, and Prime unofficially became the hottest receptionist in the history of the world by merit of doing the job once.

"Alright, Mr...." Prime paused, lifting up the receipt with a scrutinizing face as he struggled to read his own handwriting. "Doge King... We'll get that server and those kiddie pics back for you."

(the gang robs a clothing store for outfits, the clerk presses a silent alarm, and the "Ben 10" of this story appears)

If the boys of Tomorrow's Underwear ever watched the news - and they didn't, with the only exception of catching up on their favorite video game, music, or television releases - they would have recognized their target as teen heartthrob crime-fighting sensation Benjamin Kirby Tennyson.

Unfortunately, the boys were all shut-ins, so they didn't have a clue as to who he was.

"That's our man! Get 'im!" Sol shouted, not a moment of hesitation in his voice as he prepared to strike first blood against a world-class superhero. Under different circumstances, he might have been considered brave, but as normal in all other situations, he was just a complete fucking idiot.

(Prime digs under the Omnitrix with a shovel or a spoon or a butter knife, nearly ending his transformation)

(the gang then just beat up the Ben 10 guy and take his Omnitrix)

Before Benjamin could tell what had just happened, Hassan had picked up the lid to the metal trash bin and dashed him once more across the forehead. He looked up at Hassan with an unflinching, staring expression. Hassan scrunched his eyebrows and stared back harder. Evidently, Hassan's willpower was much more powerful, and a gash of blood appeared across Benjamin Tennyson's forehead. His body soon slumped to the floor

The gang looked down at his bloodied corpse. Hassan went to curbstomp him and kill him again, but Brian quickly held him back. "I think that's enough..."

The group took one last look at his bloodied corpse, and nodded to each other. Prime knelt down, and moved his hand across the man's arm. He couldn't feel a pulse, primarily because he didn't know what to look for, but he tried to stay positive and assumed the man was still alive. His hands found the strange Facebook server device that was strapped onto his wrist. When touched, the strap undid itself, and

Hass ran up with a shoebox and the gang placed the Omnitrix in there. Brian was granted custody of the box for the walk back to the tower.

Prime stared at the contact details on the receipt. *Yeah, no way we're trusting him with something like this*, he frowned. He grabbed the receipt, balling it up in his fist, before rushing up to the balcony. He spitefully threw the receipt down into the street. It didn't really go far - landing next to the sidewalk - but whatever.

Prime hadn't noticed, but Omi and Sol were up there on the balcony with him. The two had lugged a giant wash-bin out of the doors. It was already filled with water and dirty clothes, and everytime one of the two moved, water sloshed and spilled on the balcony.

"What was that about?" Omi asked.

"Nothing important," were Prime's words. He gave his friends an acknowledging wave before heading back inside.

(the gang encounter the actual "Ben 10" of this story, and fucking beat his ass in. they end up taking the Omnitrix)

### NEXT TIME

*Next time on the Tomorrow's Underwear Super Show*...

## Trivia

* The episode was originally titled *Crazy Noisy Bizarre Town* in early development, a nod to the Japanese cartoon movie, *Joja's Wacky Quest: Crystals Are Unbendable.*
* The "NEXT TIME" segment was completely ripped off of a 3-star television show named *Arrested Development*. I don't recommend watching it, you would probably prefer *Modern Family*a lot more. It's basiclly the same show.
* **APRIL FOOLS BITCH**