E02: Freebuild: Max, Your Goose Is Cooked! (July 28, 2014)

Join Max for a new adventure that has almost nothing to do with this picture!

Agent Stetson Colt: "Yes sir, I think it's quite reasonable to ban the color red from Imperium buildings...yes it is the color of cowards and traitors."

Agent Colt: "No sir, I don't think it's feasible to entirely remove red from the spectrum of visible light...no I don't imagine placing giant filters around the sun would be cost effective...yes I wish it was feasible too."

Agent Colt: "No sir, we don't have the package in custody yet...Yes I realize it's very dangerous...No sir, I let the kid handle this one...Yes I think he can handle apprehending a celebrity chef, sir"

The red phone on the desk begins to ring.

Agent Colt: "Sir, that's him calling now on the red line...I mean the hot line...Yes I'd better take it...Yes sir, as soon as we have it I'll let you know."

Colt hangs up the grey phone and picks up the red one.

Agent Colt: "This is Special Agent Stetson Colt"

Junior Agent: "It's me, Agent Spencer."

Agent Colt: "Agent who? I don't seem to recall any Spencers."

Junior Agent: \*sigh\* "This is Junior Agent."

Agent Colt: "What's the status Junior? Do we have the package? Is the suspect in custody?"

Junior Agent: "Not exactly sir, there's been a...complication."

Agent Colt: "What kind of complication?"

Junior Agent: "An air strike."
Agent Colt: "Air strike?!"

Junior Agent: "Yes sir...subject is critically wounded. The strike was incredibly precise; except for the blast wave, the payload executed a 5 stud blast radius. Blew the poor guy to bits."

Agent Colt: "A Surg OSM..."

Junior Agent: "Yes sir, one of ours. I used my holomap to trace its trajectory back to GI Orbital Defense Platform C-S118A...but why would we do this? We were just about to apprehend the subject. If he would have been carrying the package..."

Agent Colt: "Half of London would be gone. It had to be a mistake."

Junior Agent: "That's a pretty precise mistake sir"

Agent Colt: "Yeah, sounds more like a hack...I'll look into it. Have you secured the package?"

Junior Agent: "Sir, there's no sign of it. Our forensics team has searched the subject's vehicle several times. No trace of it anywhere. Just the kind of things you'd expect from a celebrity chef...lots of spices, flour, condiments, heavy ketchup...oh and a cat."

Agent Colt: "A cat?"

Junior Agent: "Yes sir, it showed up behind cabinets on a spectral sweep...it keeps moving around, we haven't been able to catch it. It knows the layout of the catering van a lot better that we do."

Agent Colt: "No sign of the package...and you used a WARP detector?"

Junior Agent: " Of course sir, but there were no signs of any anti-reality particles, weak or otherwise. Like I said, not a trace. Maxwell Bauer is the only one who can tell us where the package is, and he's fading fast."

Agent Colt: "He's still alive?!"

Junior Agent: "Barely, but medical can't get him out...the protesters-"

Agent Colt: "Protesters?"

Junior Agent: "Yes sir. I'm not sure where they came from, but they showed up as soon I called my squad of soldiers out. Angry about how we handled Havana, I'd guess."

Agent Colt: "Sometimes you have to cut down the whole tree-"

Junior Agent: "I understand sir, but try telling that to them."

Agent Colt: "I'm going to come sort this out. Stay where you are, I'll be there in 45 seconds. Colt out."

Colt gathers his equipment and summons the SOQIT sled [Sub-Orbital Quick Imperium Transport].

Agent Colt: "3.5 seconds, as usual."

The SOQIT sled quickly pivots.

...and Agent Colt is on his way.

\*\*\*41.5 seconds later\*\*\*

The whine of the SOQIT signals Agent's Colt's arrival. He quickly makes his way to where Junior Agent is standing, near what's left of poor Max.

The protesters become more agitated by Colt's arrival. They begin chanting "Havana! Havana! Havana!" punctuated by the occasional "Long live Aurelia!" The air is tense.

Junior Agent (gesturing toward Max's burned body): "He doesn't doesn't have long sir. I don't know what you can do..."

Agent Colt (seemingly ignoring his junior partner): "Soldiers, get over here and stomp out these fires!"

Colt takes a small pink disc from his briefcase. He presses a button on it and It begins to emit a sharp chirping sound.

Agent Colt: "Good work boys, but try not to move the subject so much."

Junior Agent: "What about the protestors? This is about to get ugly."

Agent Colt: "It'll be fine Junior. I've ordered an air strike of my own...atomized benzodiazapines...now everyone stand back!"

Colt tosses the disc on to Max (who doesn't seem to be enjoying this much at all).

With a sort of slurpy "BLOOP" sound, the disk expands into a semi-solid purple capsule, completely enveloping Maxwell Bauer (well, what's left of him)
.
Junior Agent: "Is that a weaponized chronostasis field? I didn't know that we had those."

Agent Colt: "Yes, it is, and there's a lot of things you don't know Junior. For example, you don't know where you'll be when the aerosol tranquilizers hit."

Junior Agent: "Well I assume that I'll be here, sir, helping you disperse these agitators. I've got my emergency air filter and-"

Agent Colt: "Wrong. You'll be on your way to Qoter by then. You'll be driving that"

Colt gestures towards Starla, max's catering van, sitting innocuously across the street.

Junior Agent: "What \*that\* thing? It looks like a cargo van ate an SUX Hoversport! How's that going to-"

Agent Colt: "That \*thing\* is faster that most of the ships in the Imperium fleet. I was reviewing its specifications on the way over, and-"

Junior Agent (doubtfully): "You read the specs in 45 seconds?"

Agent Colt: "Yes. Not only will it get to Qoter in about an hour, the rich s.o.b. put a high-end stasis unit in the cargo bay. For keeping food fresh I guess, but will serve our purpose nicely."

Agent Colt: "Constaple, grab a few grunts and load this guy into that white van over there. Use these clamps."

Junior Agent: " So I'm taking the subject to a hospital on Qoter? Since he'll be in chronosuspension, why not just take him to a hospital here on earth? In London even?"

Agent Colt: "Time is of the essence Junior. We need to know where the package is. You're not taking him to a hospital \*on\* Qoter, you're taking him to a facility in orbit \*around\* Quoter."

Junior Agent (clearly uneasy): "Oh no, you don't mean-"

Agent Colt: "Precisely. You're taking him to the Bucket. Maxwell Bauer has an appointment with Dr. Lobotomy."

Junior Agent: "I've got a bad feeling about this."