Kak Wars (Transcript)

This is the transcript for the second short in The Magical Five, Kak Wars.

   Pasta: Dang, I'm almost out of kak. I'm gonna need more money from Dark to buy more!

Make3.0Shine scratches his head.

Shine: What the heck is kak?

Pasta: Bruh, you don't know what kak is?

Shine: ...no. That's why I asked.

Jack: Kak...the magical cake...?

Pasta: Yes!

Cute Eyes: Magical...cake...?

Pop Tart: (translated) THE BEST CAKE IN THE WORLD!!!

Cute Eyes: What is magical cake?

DatPastaFangirl brings out a hat and a cane and breaks into jazz hands.

Shine: Alright, let's not overreact about kak.

Jack: I wanna know what this kak is. Well, I know. But I wanna know better. I've never been face to face with kak...

Pop Tart: (translated) GIVE! ME! YOUR! KAK!!!

Dark clouds ascend upon everyone. Thunder rumbles.

Pasta: No.

Pop Tart goes insane and gets a 'bad time eye'.

Pop Tart: (translated) I don't accept that answer, missy.

Pasta: Fite me.

Cute Eyes: GIVE MEH THE KAK!

Pasta: NO!

A badly played rendition of MEGALOVANIA plays.

Pop Tart: (translated) It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you...SHOULD BE GIVING ME KAK!

Cute Eyes' horn glows.

Shine: Be careful, guard! You're gonna have a bad time!

Pop Tart gets the kak out of Pasta's hands.

DatPastaFangirl brings out a sword.

Pasta: NO!

Cute Eyes snatches Pop Tart's kak.

Cute Eyes: Mine!

Pop Tart: (translated) Buddy, don't make me hurt you!

DatPastaFangirl lunges at Cute Eyes with a sword.

Pasta: (screeching) MY PRECIOUS!

Shine: GUYS, CALM DOWN!

Cute Eyes: NOOO!

Jacksepticeye tackles Pasta.

DatPastaFangirl looks away in bloodthirsty rage.

DatPastaFangirl is tackled.

DatPastaFangirl tries to punch Jack in the face but fails miserably.

Pop Tart grabs Shine, Cute Eyes, Jack and Pasta with a force and throws them into the trash.

Jacksepticeye gets up tiredly.

Pop Tart takes a bite out of the kak.

Cute Eyes eats the rest of the kak.

Pasta: DON'T DO IT! OH MY GOSH, YOU DID IT!

Final crumb lies on the floor.

DatPastaFangirl runs up to get the crumb.

Pop Tart: (translated) IT'S MINE!

DatPastaFangirl hisses.

Pasta: NO!

Make3.0Shine gets it and swallows it.

DatPastaFangirl does a death glare.

Pasta: Boi.

Shine: OH WOW, THIS IS AMAZING!

FairyTailLover01 appears suddenly.

Lover: Uh...guys...?

Mark: I smelled kak...

Shine: LOVER, HOW DID YOU ESCAKE- I MEAN, ESCAPE?!

Lover: He turned insane at the smell of kak...Darkiplier's defeated...

Make3.0Shine doesn't care and runs to the Store of Magical Items.

Shine: I NEED KAK!!!

Pasta: The true powers of kak are that it gives you ultimate strength at the cost of your sanity. What have we become?

Make3.0Shine NEO has got a bunch of kak.

FairyTailLover01 stares intensely at Pasta.

Shine: HEY GUYS, I HAVE MORE KAK FOR EVERYONE!

Markiplier and Jack tackle Shine.

Pasta: DID YOU SAY MORE KAK?!

Shine: JUST KIDDING, IT'S FOR ME!

Make3.0Shine eats it all.

Pasta: NO!

FairyTailLover01 stares at everyone.

Lover: By the way, guys...

Pop Tart: (translated) NO, IT'S TOO MUCH FOR HIM!

Pasta: NOOO!

Lover: I kept it a secret, but...

FairyTailLover01 summons kak.

Make3.0Shine eats it.

Pasta: Gurl, how could you?

Lover: I CAN SUMMON KAK!

FairyTailLover01 summons more and eats it.

Pasta: WHAT?! NO!

Make3.0Shine can't take it anymore and lets out a giant burp.

FairyTailLover01 summons another one and throws it at Pasta.

Pop Tart: (translated) TAKE COVER!

Pasta: YES!

Darkiplier's castle breaks apart.

FairyTailLover01 summons more and throws them at Pasta, Cute Eyes and Jack.

Mark: WHAT ABOUT ME?!

Lover: No kak for you.

Earth starts cracking with Shine's burping.

DatPastaFangirl is being pelted with kak at terminal velocity and loves it.

Everything starts exploding.

Shine: WAIT NO-

DatPastaFangirl falls into a crack in the Earth from Shine's burp.

Make3.0Shine explodes.

FairyTailLover01 seems fine.

Pop Tart: (translated) MASTER, NO-

Pop Tart explodes.

Sulley and Mike explode.

Cute Eyes eats kak and explodes.

Markiplier and Jack explode.

FairyTailLover01 is still fine.

Lover: Uh...

DatPastaFangirl explodes down the hole.

Kirito: BY THE WAY, I'M HERE-

Kirito explodes.

FairyTailLover01 explodes in slow motion.

Everyone else in the dimension explodes.

The internet explodes.

(Meanwhile, in Kak Heaven...)

Make3.0Shine is swimming in kak.

DatPastaFangirl has kak on her hair.

FairyTailLover01 is asleep on a kak bed.

Shine: WHOO! THIS IS AWESOME!

FairyTailLover01 teleports to Pasta.

Pasta: (eating kak) Mmm.

Lover: Pasta? What is kak?

FairyTailLover01 is smiling cutely and curiously.

Make3.0Shine stares at Lover.

Shine: Shhh.

Make3.0Shine slowly melts into the kak.

Pasta: Hush. We musn't worry about things such as 'what is kak'. There is only kak in this world.

Sulley walks by.

Lover: But...what makes kak...kak?!

Sulley looks at the kak that Shine has possessed.

Sulley: Hey, this is interesting kak.

Pop Tart: (translated) NO, WAIT, YOU'LL KILL SHINE!!!

Cute Eyes eats the kak.

Make3.0Shine is dead.

Cute Eyes spits out the kak.

Pop Tart: (translated) NOO- Ah, who cares? We have kak.

Make3.0Shine is dead but nobody cares and keeps swimming in kak.

Pasta: Exactly. There is no life. No death. Only kak.