Wandaful Secrets/Transcript

(The episode begins with Mystic staring at her wand, severely damaged with cracks and paint chips all around the Mystix Wand.)

Mystic: Come on, wand! You can’t just wear down every time I have to use you!

Shaduck: Haha, you can’t even look after your own things!

(Candle Man throws a bowl of fish soup into Shaduck’s beak.)

Candle Man: SHUT UP! She’s having an emotional moment!

Shaduck: Pff, why does she care about some stupid wand anyway? She’s a goddess! Can’t she just make her own one?

Candle Man: I’m sure it’s not that easy, right, Mystic?

Mystic: Well, that would require me going back to Galaxia Omega and I don’t wanna go back there yet…

Shaduck: Cause you’re scared the ghosts of your mom and dad will come back and haunt you? Oooh, scary ghost!

(Candle Man throws three bowls of fish soup onto Shaduck.)

Candle Man: I SAID SHUT UP! CAN’T YOU TELL SHE’S HAVING AN EMOTIONAL MOMENT?! WHY NOT HELP HER FIX THAT WAND?!

Shaduck: How am I supposed to do that?

Limefong: Well, it’s a wand, right?

Shaduck: Duh.

Limefong: As I was saying, maybe Wanda can help!

Mystic: Wanda?

Limefong: Jeah, Wanda’s a wand. It’s in the name! Surely it could help you fix it or something?

Mystic: I don’t know, the Mystix Wand is almost the same as Wanda!

Candle Man: It wouldn’t help to give it a shot, right?

Mystic: I mean, I could accidentally release my sister who wants to kill me!

Candle Man: What do you mean, your sister?! Not sure if Judy or Ribbon would suddenly want to kill you just because you tried to use a wand to fix another wand…

Mystic: No, the sister I told you about before!

Candle Man: Oh, right. The one your parents brainwashed and you had to contain just so you can live.

Mystic: Exactly, and I don’t wanna risk that.

Candle Man: Then, what do we do about your wand?

Mystic: I’m not sure…

Shaduck: Hey, Mystic, why not get some ice cream with Candle Man?

Candle Man: Good idea, Shaduck! I guess slamming you with fish soup was a good idea after all. C’mon, Mystic.

Mystic: Well, okay then…

(Candle Man takes Mystic outside.)

Limefong: That was so unlike you, Shaduck! What are you up to?

Shaduck: Oh, hush. (Grabs the Mystix Wand.)

Limefong: Wait, you can’t touch that! You don’t know what it’s capable of!

Shaduck: Stop being so square, Lime! I’ve seen it in action a million times. It’s like using my lasers.

Limefong: Well you better not just destroy it. Imagine Mystic’s reaction.

Shaduck: Of course not. I’m just stealing it to try and fix it with Wanda so she can stop moping about it! And maybe seeing what it can do.

Limefong: (Sarcastically.) I can see this ending beautifully.

Shaduck: So we’re in agreement!

(Limefong sighs. Cue theme song. Afterwards, Shaduck tries to get the Mystix Wand to do something, waving it at a high speed through the air.)

Shaduck: Now, how does Mystic use this thing?

Limefong: Wait, you can’t let it crack again!

Shaduck: Oh come on, what’s the worst that can happen?

(Limefong grabs the wand before Shaduck can have a chance at being reckless with the Mystix Wand.)

Shaduck: Hey, give that back!

(Limefong runs away with the wand, he runs out of the house as Shaduck follows him.)

Limefong: Get off my tail!

(Shaduck jumps and clings onto Limefong’s tail.)

Limefong: Ugh!

Shaduck: GIVE THAT DARN THING BACK!! (Tries to get it back. Limefong accidentally sets it off, causing the colors to go black and white.) Woah, what happened?

LImefong: You must have activated it. Now we can’t stop whatever’s going to-

(The wand blasts them both away. They bump into Candle Man and Mystic eating ice cream and fall into the King and Queen’s castle.)

Mystic: You just got my ice cream all over my sweater!

Shaduck: Well, sorry if us morons can’t control your stupid wand!

Mystic: Wait, you used my wand?! (Snatches the wand out of Limefong’s grip.)

Limefong: It was Shaduck! He wanted to steal it!

Shaduck: I was just trying to make it so that you weren’t acting like a grump all day! We already know how annoying that can get. (Looks at Candle Man.)

(Candle Man chuckles sheepishly. Mystic faces CM, looking rather annoyed.)

Mystic: What’s so funny?

Candle Man: Nothing…

Shaduck: Well, now that we’re in the castle, we might as well see if Wanda can fix the Mystix Wand!

Limefong: No! You've already caused enough trouble with it!

(Mystic reverts the colors back to normal.)

Mystic: If I’m completely honest, why does Shaduck think it’s a good idea to steal the Mystix Wand which contains my sister who-

Shaduck: Yeah, yeah we already heard about that. Let’s just go fix this stupid wand!

(He snatches the Mystix Wand and runs towards where Wanda is placed.)

Mystic: Hey!

King of Wikia: Oh, hello there, Shaduck. Have you come for a chat?

Shaduck: No, the annoying girl’s wand is broken because she can’t control it and now we need Wanda to fix it so she can stop whining.

King of Wikia: I’m not sure… We've been very protective over Wanda ever since UCP and the Spammers’ attacks!

Shaduck: Pleeease! It’s the name of friendship!

King of Wikia: Well, if it’s in the name of friendship then… (Forms a thumbs up with his hand and opens the case for Wanda with the key in his hand.)

Candle Man: Yay! I promise, King. It won’t last a second! (Runs at the speed of light at Wanda and is about to grab it but accidentally knocks it over.) Oops.

Limefong: Candle Man! Be more careful with the magical artifact!

(Wanda suddenly glows and shines brightly. It transports them to a different world. It is all black save for a golden path.)

Candle Man: WOAH-

Limefong: Where are we?

Candle Man: I don’t know!

Mystic: Even in my 1002 years of living I’ve never seen or heard or even read about a place like this before!

Shaduck: That’s because you’re so blind, haha!

Mystic: Quiet, you moron! And I can see your stupid face very clearly.

Candle Man: Shh! (Points to the golden trail.) I think it wants us to follow it!

Limefong: Then let’s do it!

Mystic: Is it just me or does this place remind you guys of heaven?

Candle Man: Come on!

(The Main 4 follow the golden trail until they come across a basic door.)

Candle Man: Huh, I would’ve thought of something more big.

Shaduck: Well, open it!

(Candle Man tries to open it, but…)

Candle Man: It’s locked!

Limefong: Then I guess it’s too to go on an adventure and find the k-

(Candle Man burns the door to dust, only more light is seen.)

Limefong: Or that. Whatever floats your flaming boat.

Candle Man: Let’s find out what we came here for… (Walks inside the glowing portal, the rest follow.)

Limefong: So now we’re in another other world? I mean-

Candle Man: Wait look, we’re in the castle! But...it’s so old!

Mystic: (Sounding younger.) Do you think we went back in time?

Candle Man: Maybe. But what’s with your voice?

Mystic: (Sounding normal again.) I don’t know, it just felt right.

Limefong: Look, the wand! We’re definitely back in time or in some sort of…

Everyone: Flashback!

(Flashbacks to a man walking over to Wanda.)

The man: How strange, Wanda. You have just created this strange liquid and now our city is not crumbling over itself entirely, besides those Jedis fighting. You never fail to amaze me!

Mystic: That voice sounds like my dad…but also not.

(The man brings the glass of liquid over.)

The man: So this is what you have created, hm? I see you have now fully committed to Wikia and you would like to help me build the foundation! But something tells me that this must be...temporary.

(Wanda glows.)

The man: What’s that?

(Wanda glows again.)

The man: We’ll need to upgrade it every month?

(Wanda glows once again.)

The man: I’m not sure. With me being prince and all, I don’t think me, nor mum and dad will be able to remember! They can forget simple tasks very quickly because they’re so stuck in the bigger ones!

(Wanda glows finally.)

Prince of Wikia: You’re saying that you can do it yourself, as long as you’re in there? Wow! (Walks into the liquid.) Hmm. What to name you…Well, obviously it has to be about Wikia of course. What about MediaWiki? You’re keeping the town alive, the media!

Shaduck: Strange way of naming something…

Candle Man: Hold on, Shaduck. I don’t think you get what we’re hearing right now. We just found out that MediaWiki was created by Wanda! That’s why it needs to be upgraded by Wanda.

Limefong: Not much of a surprise though.

Candle Man: I’m pretty sure that’s never been told of before. It was always said that MediaWiki and Wanda were separate things they just needed to help each other because they could and nobody knew! This’ll be great to tell the King!

Mystic: This makes me wonder why the King actually kept that from us…

Candle Man: How do we know the king knows?

Mystic: Um, hello! That was the Prince of Wikia!

Candle Man: Yeah?

Mystic: The Prince?

(Candle Man shrugs his shoulder)

Candle Man: So? That was the Prince, not the King!

Mystic: (Going demon as she shouts in Candle Man’s face.) THAT WAS THE FORMER PRINCE! THIS IS THE KING NOW!

Candle Man: Okay, okay! I get it now, geez.

Mystic: (Calm.) Well you know how easily I can get mad and go demon.

Candle Man: I guess so.

Shaduck: (Looking at the Mystix Wand on the floor while drooling.) I just noticed that the Mystix Wand kind of looks like a lollipop. (Saliva touches the wand.)

Mystic: Bleh! You’re gross! (Throws the wand into MediaWiki by mistake.) Uh oh…

(The wand causes a massive explosion, leading the Main 4 to launch all the way back into the real Wikia.)

King of Wikia: Guys, you’re okay! Are you safe?

Candle Man: Yeah, we’re fine!

Shaduck: But you’ve got some explaining to do!

King of Wikia: What?

Mystic: Uh, guys…

Limefong: We know you kept a secret from us!

Mystic: Guys…

King of Wikia: I have no idea what you’re talking about!

Candle Man: Candle Vision! (Activates Candle Vision and uses it on the King of Wikia.) Yep, he’s lying. Now-

Mystic: (Going demon again.) GUYS!

Candle Man: What?!

(Mystic points at the Mystix Wand, where white energy is starting to leak out of it.)

Candle Man: Oh god, what’s happening to it?!

Mystic: That blast was too impactful and…(Ground starts to rumble.) I think it’s not done yet!

Candle Man: DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT-

(The wand blasts explosive particles from the Spark Dust, launching them out of the castle and outside, they bump into Maps. who breaks their fall.)

Shaduck: Wooh, thank you…MAPS?!

Maps: Ugh, the Candle Flips. You know I was just about to do something again to you and your stupid team!

Candle Man: Well, it’ll have to wait because Mystic’s wand is on a rampage!

Maps: Something tells me that’s not all…

Candle Man: What do you mean?

Maps: Your girlfriend has some liquid on her, kinda like MediaWiki.

Mystic: (Wipes it off.) No I don’t!

Maps: And the duck has some hair on him.

Shaduck: I only have feathers!

(Maps takes a piece of red fur off Shaduck and puts it in her pocket.)

Maps: Anyway, I think you’ve been doing something with MediaWiki and I want to know what it is!

Candle Man: Well, we’ll never tell you!

Maps: I was hoping you might say that. Now I can test this new potion set I had just experimented on with Dyaboy. HA! (Throws a truth serum onto Candle Man.) Now, what were you doing in that castle?

Candle Man: I was...c-c-c-...

Limefong: Don’t tell her!

Candle Man: She’s done something to me! I can’t…resist…telling…the truth!

Shaduck: Maybe it’s your hate for lying?

Candle Man: No, it’s more than that...I physically cannot lie…

Maps: What were you doing in that castle, Candle Man?

Candle Man: I...I…M...me and the rest of us found a secret the King was hiding and we don’t know why!

Mystic, Shaduck, Limefong: No!

Maps: Hm... What kind of secret?

Limefong: Wait, Candle Man. You can fight this! I believe in you! (Puts his paw on Candle Man’s shoulder, it shocks him and a part of his fur on his paw turns white.)

Limefong: OW!

Candle Man: Limefong, are you ok?

(Limefong holds his paw.)

Limefong: Jeah, I’m alright. Just try not to let Maps get to you!

Maps: What secret?

Candle Man: One you’ll-...uh, it’s-NO! Never... find... out…

Shaduck: You’re expecting him to tell you?! Even though you are one of the last people we’d ever tell?!

(Maps pulls out the remains of the toxic potion from her back.)

Maps: Well even if that truth serum wore off quickly, I do have a bit of my toxic potion from when we used it on the dart gun for your girlfriend. So tell me, or else.

Candle Man: Fine, Wanda created MediaWiki!

Maps: Hmm, alright then. (Walks away.)

Candle Man: That’s it?

Limefong: Probably not. She’s most likely now making a plan with what she knows!

Shaduck: What does she know?

Candle Man: Uh, the secret I just told her?

Shaduck: No, I mean, that wasn’t much info. What could she get from that?

(Scene cuts to Maps walking into the lair.)

Whickey: Nice walk?

Maps: Yeah, and I found out something juicy too!

Gyux: Av8rj4iwfmvnrdlff! (Subtitles: Tell us!)

Kitchen: He s-

Maps: Instead of Kitchen translating whatever Gyux just said, I’ll just get straight to the point. Wanda created MediaWiki!

(The Spammers gasp.)

Dyaboy: But what does that mean?

Maps: It means I have an idea to revive UCP!

(The Spammers walk out of their lair heading to the castle. At the Candle House, Shaduck peeks out of the window watching them.)

Shaduck: Oh no…

Limefong: What?

Shaduck: Nothing!

Limefong: What are you looking at?

Shaduck: Uh, Dewey had an injury! Yeah, that’s it.

Limefong: Aw. I’ll write him a get well card soon.

Shaduck: Well, I’m gonna go help him up. (Leaves the house.) What are you up to, now, Spammers? (Turns invisible and follows the Spammers to the castle.)

Maps: Let’s go! (Throws a potion onto the floor. It creates a poof of the potion and they quickly run and steal Wanda.)

King of WIkia: (Coughs.) What just happened? (Looks over to Wanda’s case.) WANDA IS MISSING!

Queen of Wikia: (Coming in the room.) AGAIN?!

(The King pulls out a microphone.)

King of Wikia: My people of Wikia, OUR PRECIOUS WANDA HAS BEEN STOLEN!

Shaduck: Some more frying pan grease stole it and used it to hypnotize the whole world…or someone trying to bring back that frying pan grease! I gotta go tell the others!

(Shaduck teleports back to the Candle Friends, who are in the middle of playing cards.)

Mystic: Your guys’ type of games are weird. I prefer the Animal Town series more than this.

Limefong: Eh. Oh hey, Shaduck. Help Dewey?

Shaduck: Uh yeah. More important than that, though, the Spammers have Wanda!

Candle Man: Again?

Shaduck: Yes, again.

Candle Man: Then, we gotta get Wanda back before they get any ideas!

Mystic: Well in that case.

(Mystic makes all the cards explode.)

Candle Man: BUT WHY?

Mystic: That game was boring anyways.

Candle Man: For you maybe. THIS GAME WAS GOOD, NO NEED TO RUIN IT, YOU KNOW?!

Mystic: You Fandax people are strange.

Candle Man: No, you.

Limefong: Anyway, don’t the Spammers have Wanda?!

Mystic: Yeah, and it will surely not be a wanderful time for those Spammers when we get it back.

(The other three groan from how bad Mystic’s pun was.)

Mystic: What? Aren’t I punny?

Candle Man: Errr… sorry, but that pun was… bad.

Shaduck: SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP!

Limefong: Let’s just go!

(The Main 4 run to the Spammers’ lair.)

Candle Man: Oh no, look!

(Whickey waves Wanda around UCP’s dust.)

Main 4: NO!

(The dust turns into arms.)

Dyaboy: Is that it?

Maps: Huh, a bit anti-climatic.

Shaduck: KILL IT!

Gyux: Aogkfrnedficj! (Subtitles: Run!)

Whickey: No time for nonsense, we need to run!

(Gyux sighs.)

Kitchen: Wait, we still have Wanda in our hands. (Raises Wanda in front of herself and sends out a blast. The Main 4 dodge it. The rest of the Spammers run out of the room.)

Limefong: We have to get Wanda from them!

Shaduck: On it! (Shaduck teleports behind Kitchen. Kitchen freezes him, but Shaduck uses his lasers to break out.)

Candle Man: Look! (Throws a fireball over Kitchen’s head.)

Kitchen: You missed!

Candle Man: Oh, that was just a distraction.

Kitchen: Huh? (Looks below. Her feet have been lassoed together by a slime rope. Limefong throws her down.)

Kitchen: Enough of this! (Blasts the lasso and then begins firing continuously.)

Candle Man: Take cover! (Throws a fire wall up to defend themselves.)

Kitchen: No! (Summons unicorns which run towards the wall and pierce their horns through it.)

Candle Man: Ugh!

Mystic: Alright then, that’s it! (Pulls out the Mystix Wand.)

Candle Man: But Mystic-

(Kitchen blasts at Candle Man and Mystic, but they dodge it. Limefong smashes the floor and sends an electricity wave at Kitchen which shocks her.)

Kitchen: Must…revive…UCP…(Crawls to the pair of arms.)

Candle Man: Stop her!

(The Main 4 all blast at her: Fire, Spark Dust, Lasers, and Slime, but they miss Kitchen and hit the UCP arms which begin to transform into UCP.)

Kitchen: YES!

(Candle Man snatches Wanda whilst she is distracted and blasts the forming UCP. Wanda absorbs the power and the star begins to turn purple.)

Candle Man: What th-

KItchen: GRRRRR!

Limefong: We need to go…

Shaduck: No duh.

(Limefong grabs Shaduck’s shirt and runs out of the Spammers’ lair. Scene cuts to the Candle House.)

Candle Man: Another save once again!

Mystic: All’s well that ends well.

Limefong: Another happy ending.

Shaduck: Can we stop with the generic endings? We still have one question. (Pulls out Wanda.) What happened to Wanda?

(Zooms in on the wand. Episode ends.)