Milk Bar with Lisa Gilroy

"Milk Bar with Lisa Gilroy" is Episode 424 of *Doughboys*, hosted by Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell. "Milk Bar with Lisa Gilroy" was released on November 16, 2023.

## Synopsis

Lisa Gilroy joins the 'boys to discuss garlic, Canadian chains, and parodies before a review of Milk Bar. Plus, a special Thanksgiving segment.

[*To note: this entire page is correct. Shut up!* - ed.]

## Nick's intro

“*The reason I’d enjoyed such smooth sailing for so long hadn’t been, as I’d assumed, because I was careful and diligent and good at my job. The truth was that, in all those years, I hadn’t written anything important enough to suppress.*”

This was journalist Gary Webb in his 2002 memoir, *Into the Buzzsaw*. Two years later, he was dead of suicide.

Webb’s claim to fame — and infamy among the US government and its media allies — was his 1996 *San Jose Mercury News* bombshell “Dark Alliance,” which detailed the CIA’s complicity in the crack epidemic that devastated Black communities in the United States. As detailed in a 2014 *Intercept* piece by Ryan Deveraux, the CIA’s backlash to Webb’s scoop was swift and personal, using mainstream outlets like the *Los Angeles Times* and the *Washington Post* to smear Webb’s reputation, aided by friendly reporters motivated by professional jealousy. Webb’s factual though imperfect reporting was quickly relegated to the conspiracy-theory bin, and his career would then spiral downward into oblivion. But the evidence remains convincing, as shown in the Congressional record, that the CIA enabled the flow of narcotics and money that polluted urban neighborhoods with crack cocaine in the 1980s, destroying lives via drug dependency and prison time.

And it was the drug’s uniquely addictive quality that inspired the name of the signature dessert at an upscale bakery spinoff of David Chang’s Momofuku: Crack Pie. Founded in 2008 in New York City by Chang’s then pastry chef Christina Tosi, the sugar broker was soon popular enough to stand on its own, with other signature desserts like its Compost Cookie and Cereal Milk Ice Cream.

Today with locations in New York, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Washington DC, and Washington state, as well as nationwide shipping and grocery-store distribution — Tosi’s Momofuku spinoff is arguably as well-known as Momofuku itself — and Tosi has joined Chang as a cookbook-slinging celebrity chef.

In 2019, facing criticism over an luxury dessert shop referencing the name of a drug that immiserated Black neighborhoods, founder Tosi released a statement announcing the renaming of Crack Pie. The statement was updated in June 2020 to apologize more extensively. But even with its new name, the pie remains so delectable, it wouldn’t be a shock to learn this upscale cakery was funded by the CIA — though I risk my professional reputation for even speculating.

This week on *Doughboys*… Milk Bar.

## Fork rating

* Corn Cookie
* Compost Cookie
* Chocolate B'Day Truffle 3-Pack
* Crunchy Cereal Milkshake
* Chocolate B'Day Milkshake
* B'Day Cake Slice
* Chocolate B'Day Cake Slice
* Red Velvet Cheesecake Cake Slice
* Milk Bar Pie Slice
 Mike Mitchell
 Lisa Gilroy

## Am I Gay? Test

Nick was taking an online "Am I Gay?" test and it asked for his name. He put in 'Nick' and got an error! It asked for his full legal name, which is Nicholas Frank Wiger. Sometimes he goes by Frank:

## Let Me Be Franksgiving 🌭

Grit on my grill gettin' greasy and gritty
Toast bun, don't it look pretty
Suckin' on a dog like you're suckin' on a titty
Pork and beef sausages and long bread
Rollin' on a roller grill, must've been relish

One bite, it's a different world
Swap dog bites with a girl
Munch on, munch on, and chomp all night
Despite the farts, it'll be alright
That taste when the casing has snapped
Later that day, you'll for sure have to nap
As it simmers in the city
Like you're suckin' on a titty*

Frying all the time
You ain't nothin' but a hot dog
Frying all the time
You ain't never been a burger
And you ain't no lunch of mine

They said you a sandwich
Well, that was just a lie
Yea, they said you a sandwich
Well, that was just a lie
You're just a bun around a wiener
So you sure don't qualify*

Just trying to grill a frank, oh yea
Lunches always come and lunches always go
When no one's really sure who's eating dogs today
Chomping away
If we could take the time just to fry it on the line
I could stuff my gut just knowing that we could dine
All mine

So if you're feeling hungry, then dogling, don't refrain
Or I'll just end up munching on the grilled November frank
Do you feed sometime on your own?
Do you feed sometime all alone?
Ooh everybody feeds sometime on their own
Ooh dog, you know you feed sometime all alone*

A**M**: You can start by wiping that frankin' dumbass frank off your golden toasted bun! Then you can give me some franking ketchup! A franking Heinz, a franking Hunts, a franking French's, a franking Del Monte... four franking squirts from a bottle!
**L**: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me, buddy.
**M**: And I really don't care for the way your podcast left me in the middle of franking nowhere with franking mustard for a franking dog that wasn't franking there! And I really didn't care to franking walk down a franking highway and across a franking runway to get back here to have you smile at my franking face! I want a fucking frank right franking now!
**L**: May I see your frankal agreement?
**M**: I threw it away.
**L**: Oh boy.
**M**: Oh boy, what?
**L**: You're franked.

In this segment, Mitch searches Google and Nick searches Bing for 'Thanksgiving hot dog' or 'holiday hot dogs' and discovers the latest news about hot dogs. Lisa joins them to search "hot dog news." They then discuss!

* Mitch quickly notes a Columbus eatery with a Thanksgiving-themed hot dog.
* Lisa has a story about a reporter eating a hot dog and going viral.
* Mitch then finds an article about Joey Chestnut and how he feels (and smells) after eating 62 hot dogs.
* Nick turns up an article about some holiday items at Dunkin, though they don't seem to include hot dogs.
* Lisa reads about a family in Glen Allen that gave out frankfurters at Halloween.
* Mitch has a story about figgy pudding Spam, which tastes like hot-dog fruitcake.
* Lisa informs them that a woman died after crashing into a hot-dog store, but nobody liked that.
* Nick learns what Julia Child served at Thanksgiving: Goldfish Crackers.
* Mitch discovers a Christmas miracle: that Subway in the UK has vegan bacon-wrapped hot-dog subs.
* Mitch also learns that the Weinermobile will be in a Christmas parade in Louisiana.

## Quotes

**Lisa**: No. Who is it?
**Mitch**: He's the leader of the Gungans.
**Nick**: Leader of the Gungans on Naboo.
**Lisa**: Leader of the Gungans on Naboo?
**Nick**: Yea, the planet Naboo.
**Lisa**: You guys are pissing me the hell off.

## The Feedbag

 Mike Mitchell
 Lisa Gilroy
 Emma Erdbrink
 Casey Donahue

## Photos

Corn Cookie, Chocolate Confetti Cookie, Compost Cookie, Chocolate B'Day Truffle 3-PackB'Day Cake Slice, Chocolate B'Day Cake SliceRed Velvet Cheesecake Cake SliceMilk Bar Pie SliceChocolate B'Day Milkshake, Crunchy Cereal Milkshake