Erin Christian

Erin Christian is an omniscient being (many assume to be a time-traveler) and is far more powerful than either Cegielski or Pert. She is also a foreshadower of the future.

(To the right, you can see her taking a selfie with the world she just created) --->

She now is an ELA teacher who won't hesitate to send you to the gulag for screaming Taylor Swift songs at the top of your lungs.

## Erin Christian

### Aliases

Cannot be heard by human ears, but many have assumed it is extreme similar to the Doctor’s real name (it is speculated that she may, in fact, be the Doctor)

## Physical description

### Eye color

Anytime you look away from her, you forget (that speculation about her being the doctor may be wrong—perhaps the silence??)

## Appearance

Christian has short hair and it is generally some shade of purple. Her outfits normally consist of puffy skirts or jeans, and pastel t-shirts. Sometimes she can be seen wearing book t-shirts. During the winter, she can be seen wearing warmer clothing, though it isn’t as tailored to her personal style. You can almost always see her wearing fun earrings. Ms. Christian is a force that shouldn't be reckoned with.

## Powers

Christian’s main power is the power to smite but does not always use it on the children (the many tenses include, but are not limited to: smote, smitten, smoot, smute, smited, smoted, smyte, smate, smete). These are normally handed out to students who are not focused on assignments due at either the end of class or midnight. This is also another power she has: to greatly alter the stress levels of her victims. Due dates can go from 11:59 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. in the blink of an eye. In addition to this, many students can be subjected to the look of Mild Concern™ if something strange has been said. She also has the power to revoke privileges, like listening to the class playlist or free seating.

To get kids to stop playing games on Chromebook she "stealthily" coughs your name. This is a very powerful daily used power of hers. She may also shame you by telling everyone in class what you were doing on your Chromebook. (I.e. Ryan Reynolds toe pics)

She has an odd interest in "quote burgers" and "PEAL paragraphs" such as PEAEAEAL paragraphs, and a thing foreign to the students known as "a well-written essay".

Sub-Power: the ability to ban overused words in classrooms, such as: "yam," "cegelski," "Ryan Reynolds," "Worcestershire Sauce," and "bean." Erin Christian also has another power to ban use of items from a room such as wobble stools or squishies. If slime or putty is found being smuggled illegally or stuck in someone's hair, it will immediately be banned from the kingdom.

License(s): To Smite, To house G.T. Angel Babies, and To educate Good Lil Communists.

## History

Nothing is known about past battles. She has stayed out of wars between the mighty Pert and Cegielski so as to peacefully bring up her English children. In her mortal form, she left Stem School Highlands Ranch and has gone to a middle school known as Ken Caryl MS to teach 'GT'. She has acquired a B.A. in English Literature from Armstrong Atlantic State University and an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Georgia. She has also interned with *The Georgia Review* and the UGA Press. She has published short stories in various journals and was nominated for a 2013 Pushcart Prize. The children she teaches are a part of the "Good Lil Communist" Society, but sadly she won't hesitate to punish them harshly for talking too loudly about beans during quiet time or randomly bursting out in song.

## Extra Notes

Watch out for her stare of disapproval when you express your love of anime characters or Apple products. Stay away from quill, commonlit, IXL, Khan Academy, and scrible. If you get caught up doing scrible, WATCH OUT FOR THE BIBLIOGRAPHY ATTACK!!! She enjoys the show/book Good Omens and will be fine if you write clean fan fiction for the warm up as long as it is in relation to the warm up. Mrs. Christian has an undying love for Star Trek; her classroom walls are plastered with fangirl posters. WARNING: Beware of Securly! This is undoubtedly her favorite method of spying on her GT Angel Babies, and she will publicly send you to the gulag if she catches you reading an article on how to befriend a crow instead of reading the dreaded book Animal Farm. Never, ever, EVER spray perfume in her classroom because Christian will not tolerate it kindly. A common punishment for this action is being forced to do Khan Academy for 20 minutes, which usually results in an ailment known as Khan Academy PTSD. If you are bored in Advisement Mrs. Christian will send you on "missions" to do her dirty work for her, and you will be paid in stickers.

## Forbidden Words

Beware of using these words as Christian may get upset and contact your parents.

"The Human Centipede"

"Worcestershire sauce"

"Apple or android"

"I know where you live"

"Ryan Reynolds"

"Toes"

"I am your mother, you listen to me"

"Monke"

"GT Family Tree"

"Shrek" or any version of Shrek (I.e Shrik, Shroc, Shrekira, etc.)

## Consequences

If you break any of these rules or make her mad, she may contact your "Parental Units". She will then get the horrifying assistant principals, Ms. Roberts or Mr. Morgan, to speak with you. You don't want this. She also might dock points from the "Friday 5", which is no fun because then you don't get as much free time. If the offense was smashing a ginormous hole in her classroom wall, then you will be suspended.