Better in Color

The Acquaintances With Weapons help Crystal Queer get their color back from Dark Paladin Mike RePence.

## Major Plot Points

* Voloth, Stzu San, and Calypso saw a rainbow colored explosion in the distance from the entrance of the Wyrmhart Mine. The party, convinced this proved an immediate threat to people, decided to investigate and come back to the mine later.
* The party found a small village called Crystal Queer where the explosion happened. Crystal Queer’s buildings were all made of precious gemstones, crystals, and glass. It felt largely abandoned with windows shuttered and the cobblestone streets empty.
* They also found Vulveeta at the border of the village. She said she was out hunting for Tinder’s eggs, but she was drawn here by the sparkles.
* The village had been completely drained of color. Upon entering the town, colors began immediately fading from the Acquaintances With Weapons until they were as black and white as Crystal Queer.
* At the local tavern, Bottoms Up, the party found a bunch of depressed looking people dressed in extravagant clothing.
* Stzu San decided to play a song for the people to cheer them up. The patrons became quite ecstatic with Stzu San’s dulcimer beats.
* A man dressed like a sexy sailor came over to the group with a tray of free drinks. The sailor, Twinkle Star, said he was the Thirst Mate of the Hung Like a Seahorse ship. He told AWW that the dreaded dark paladin Mike RePence attacked the city and somehow stole Crystal Queer’s rainbow magic, which it needs to survive.
* Twinkle Star said his boss, Captain Twerk, had used their vessel to help people flee to The Closet, a large safe house in Rehomo Beach, but he hadn’t returned yet. Twinkle Star was assigned to stay behind in case Queen Yas needed an escape.
* Twinkle Star brought AWW to Queen Yas’ crystal castle that was built on a small island in the middle of a large lake.
* Queen Yas told the party that DP Mike RePence is a prophet of Chad. He would come into the Kweendom and preach his hateful rhetoric or even start small battles alongside his followers, but they had always defeated them. This time, however, was different. DP RePence was able to steal the Crown of Pride, which was the source of Crystal Queer’s rainbow magic. The crown had seven magical gems inside it that granted the wearer powerful magic and even more power still when all gems were together.
	+ Pink - Animate Objects
	+ Red - Immolation
	+ Orange - Mass Cure Wounds
	+ Yellow - Wall of Light
	+ Green - Wrath of Nature
	+ Blue - Planar Ally
	+ Violet - Dominate Person
	+ When all seven stones are together, the wielder is granted bonus spells
		- Manipulate Gemstones
		- Read to Filth
		- Death Drop
		- Prismatic Spray
* The party agreed to help retrieve the crown for Queen Yas. In exchange, Queen Yas said she would send an envoy to Queen Maxima to establish a formal alliance. Queen Yas marked where DP RePence’s Chad Temple was on the party’s map.
* On their way to the Chad Temple, the party discovered several common Chad scriptures carved into trees.
	+ Under his eye - means he sees everything
	+ Blessed be the fruit - a prayer to cure homoesexuality
	+ Death to gender traitors - LGBTQ and feminists should be condemned
	+ May the Lord open - a prayer asking nonbelievers to open their minds, hearts, and eyes.
* Calypso, after falling behind the party, was then accosted by a group of Chad paladins. They told her it was dangerous for women to travel alone in the jungle, they mansplained how to survive in the wilderness, and began asking her questions like what race she was and where she was from.
* Stzu San, seeing her friend being harassed, shot an arrow at one of the men and started a fight.
* After all but one fell in battle, Voloth questioned the last one. He revealed the Temple of Chad was a spire and that it was guarded by magic doors and a rabbit-like creature. He killed himself quickly afterwards. The party continued but now dressed like the paladins.
* Vulveeta figured out the puzzle to get into the Spire. Once inside, they found a room with no doors or windows or even a staircase. A group of paladins sat around and didn’t pay them much attention.
* After investigating the portraits on the wall, one of a rabbit and the other of a middle aged woman titled Mother, Stzu San found a hidden staircase behind Mother.
* The next level was home to a giant, humanoid rabbit named Marlon Bundo. Stzu San and Vulveeta made it across the room without waking the beast. However, Calypso and Voloth woke up the creature when they stepped on chewed up bones. The party then killed the monster.
* On the next level, AWW heard a woman saying “Shame!” and “Confess!” while ringing a bell. They found her torturing a man dressed like a sexy pirate captain. He was refusing to cooperate with her. Despite being dressed like paladins, the nun saw through their ruse and attacked them. The party was able to kill her and free Captain Twerk. He helped heal them with his sea cleric magic. The party then enjoyed a short rest with Calypso on guard duty.
* Voloth took the nun’s shame bell.
	+ When ringing this bell and saying, “Shame!” a thunderous noise erupts in a 30ft radius around you. Any creature within range must make a constitution 16 saving throw. Creatures take 6D6 thunder damage on a failed save or half on a successful save.
	+ Roll a D6. If you roll a 5 or 6, the bell is recharged and can be used again.
* The party then entered the final level. This is DP RePence’s personal chamber with a large Chad crucifix. Chad was depicted wearing a backwards trucker hat with PU$$Y on it and tribal tattoos from tribes he didn’t belong to.
* AWW successfully defeated RePence despite him using his attacks like The Power of Chad Compels You and a radiant imbued mace.
* Stzu San proposed the party keep the Crown of Pride as it could prove useful in their quest. Vulveeta then used a dream scroll Voloth found to connect with Queen Maxima via their dreams. Vulveeta tried using the crown as a bargaining chip to become first knight. Queen Maxima refused and ordered her to return the crown or she would alert Queen Yas about the theft.
* The party returned the crown to Queen Yas and partied at Crystal Queer’s Pride Festival.