Emo Teens, Mundane Occurance of the Seven Days, and My Hideous Cat Steve

Tabletop Tim:
Tabletop Tim here, the superior guardian of the probably bad podcast. This podcast is supported by listeners on Patreon including hedwig in Carlo, and some new friends leaf calibre and a socialist Hobgoblin. Now isn't that fun? Tabletop Tim out

Pencil::
Hello, and welcome to the probably bad podcast, a podcast which is definitely bad. I'm pencil

Paper:
I'm paper. And today's probably bad RPG idea is Cyberpunk game where the twist is that technology and society are great the PCs are just really miserable about everything.

Pencil:
So technology is good actually is. This is a hot take that the podcast is now growing, a very firm stance on like, I just want a world where like people are cybernetically augmented. And it's like, that's great actually, I can see into the infrared spectrum and punch through cars.

Paper:
We're talking fully automated luxury communism,

Pencil:
yeah.

Paper:
Presumably your party is just this small group of people who would rather that we had solar punk luxury communism.

Pencil:
Like, I like the idea of like, you know, your standard cyberpunk apartment where it's like really dark and cramped, and there's wires and stuff all over the walls. And there's just probably like, neon advertisements inside the building. As your party. You're just they're like sulking about the darkness dwell and they open the door and step outside and it's dislike shiny, futuristic city and it's literally just their house.

The Mega corps specifically control like your PCs, and not the rest of society anymore.

Paper:
They're just really annoyed about their computers not being able to handle the best graphics quality on videogames.

Pencil:
Your quest is to find a game that can play Crysis. Is that a radically old meme? Yes. Am I saying it anyway? Yes. It's my birthday today. I'm old now.

Paper:
I think you said that you're gonna get a get a bunch of Happy birthday messages like, also week late when the episode goes up.

Pencil:
Bring it fuckers how to

Paper:
your voice gets even like, smaller when you're swearing, it's adorable.

Unknown Speaker
I'm gonna be grateful to all of you Just you watch. I do weirdly like the idea of like a Cyberpunk game. Sort of going back to making the idea actually, like, reasonable rather than like the mega corps ruled worlds. The Mega corps just have like a small enclave. And you're trying to get like the good bits of technology into this area that's still ruled by capitalism.

Unknown Speaker
So I do like that it's like the idea of it sounds very colonialist when I put it into words, but the sun's kind of like, well, this is the the terrible shitty part of the world. So we from the good part are gonna go in and make it better. And this is just like techno colonialism.

Pencil:
Yeah, we play I feel like it's maybe Okay if it's mega corporations. Like I would support futuristic space people coming in and not beating up Amazon because of course, Amazon and Jeff Bezos are good and have done nothing wrong in their lives. But you know,

Paper:
Bill Gates,

Pencil:
yeah. a hypothetical mega corporation with the notorious history of pore treatment of its of its employees. And a disregard for social responsibility. Should one exist. There Yeah.

So Disney.

Yeah. I want to see, I want to see a futuristic cyborg beat up Mickey Mouse. Is that so wrong? And yes, I am under the impression that Disney is run by Mickey Mouse.

Unknown Speaker
Put Mickey Mouse in Smash, so we could just beat him up

Pencil:
Yeah. Mickey Mouse is the CEO and he does decisions by beating people in Smash.

Paper:
I'm just thinking though, the like is we keep coming back to the protagonist are annoyed that their video games won't run very well. And stuff like that. It's like is this just a game about Redditors in a utopian future? Just looking around at all. Like people skipping around holding hands and singing songs about flowers and going, this is the future liberals want.

Pencil:
So in a future where we've solved all problems, you solve poverty we solved inequality we solved disease, we solved all of them, you are redditors trying to find something to complain about the internet karma. And you're just trying to find like, anything you can complain about online for clout.

Paper:
I feel like we can build this game. So obviously, instead of currency, you have clout points, you can exchange for favours, you give people exposure, to do things for you.

Pencil:
Yeah, and like, I feel you can have various roles based around like, trying to frame things as badly as possible.

Paper:
Give me an example. I'm, I want to hear this.

Pencil:
Okay. So it's the future. And you want to like report somebody, I don't know, attacking someone. And no one does violence anymore. Because all resource problems have been solved. Everyone is raised in a society that treats them as individuals. So everything's pretty great. So what you need to do is you just find a completely ordinary conversation. And you have to roll to like reframe everything they say, as aggressive.

Paper:
the opposite of a charisma roll. Yeah.

Pencil:
So they say to you have a good day and you have to be like, Ah, they're making hostile demands towards the other person. And yeah, you need to like do rolls to make sure it doesn't seem too much of a stretch, but also does come off as hostile. Basically, what I've invented is a game where you try to make it seem like everyone thinks Coolsdale sucks.

Paper:
ah poor Coolsdale.

Pencil:
you're the news, and you're trying to like spark outcry and terror in a world where all problems have been solved.

Paper:
You're anti revolution revolutionaries. Yeah. Because the revolution has won. And you're just there. Like, I liked it before please.

Pencil:
you're the last person who likes communism, not communism, capitalism, Nick edit it out so I don't say something wildly against my political views.

Paper:
The world's last five ancaps

Pencil:
Well, yeah, the world's last five ancaps are going on an adventure.

Paper:
Just just the phrasing going on an adventure I am now picturing this as a children's book.

Pencil:
Yeah. Five ancaps went to sea Yeah, you just go back to you have ancap islands. And like everyone is tries to go there and dies. We fixed everything. You don't have to keep like that. And they're like, No, screw you. I enjoy having to pay large sums of money to breathe actually, it's freedom.

Paper:
So So first arc you're taking you're taking out any rumblings of improving society somewhat on ancap Island. Second arc, you use your clout to get transportation off the island so you can go and start spreading anti revolution elsewhere.

Pencil:
Yeah. And then for third arc, you recognise your mistakes and start a revolution IRL.

Paper:
Okay, so you're you're picturing a game where you force your players to completely switch ideology partway through

Pencil:
right and the thing is, you think it's a game then like four or five sessions in you discover that no, I'm actually brainwashing you. You are now agents of the revolution

Paper:
I'm actually revolutioning you did you say?

Pencil:
But what I said was brainwashing you with a revolution. Much more ethical. So going with that?

Paper:
Sorry, auditory processing is not. And isn't. I feel like there's also a way to do this where it's basically. Yeah, it's a cyberpunk future. But I guess, in a good way, like technology has solved problems and it's all green technology. It's like, high tech, solar punk I guess would be more accurate. And you're just a bunch of kids who think the idea of smog sounds really cool. There's like, emo teens that are like, I want to make the sky grey.

Pencil:
You know, you watch, like I like that this is like a war of aesthetic. Like you've got no problems in life in society. You just wished it was dark and my chemical romance was playing 24/7

Paper:
I mean, we've all had that phase.

Pencil:
Yeah. Yeah.

Paper:
I'm not entirely sure how a bunch of teen PCs would would do this probably through like eco terrorism. But I mean,

Pencil: I guess reverse Ecoterrorism

Paper:
that's a thing people do in tabletop RPGs Yeah. Okay, our first our first goal as a party is to blow up the wastewater treatment plant.

Pencil:
like first of all, a party is just to go and like pour sludge down the streets.

Where do they get the sludge in this Eco utopia?

Paper:
They

Do they make it themselves? Like Futurama where they litter to create the garbage ball.

Pencil:
Yeah, what it is, is they like have like a cybernetic implant that just produces sludge they implant a sludge gun.

Paper:
Where does the sludge come from?

Pencil:
I assume it's just like biological byproducts.

Paper:
So you're suggesting an implant that turns your arm into a shotgun? Yes.

Pencil:
And then they're like, look at the horrors technology has wrought as they shoot people with their shit gun. And everyone's like you didn't need to do that. This is the horror

Paper:
that wasn't technology that was you.

Pencil:
yeah that's the horror that you have wrought when you invented the shit gun

Paper:
shit guns don't pollute people do

Pencil:
I feel like this episode is unusually political but uniquely I can't tell what political agenda it's promoting.

Paper:
definitely anti shitgun we've established that.

Pencil:
we are we I am willing to like risk the audience to say I am pro regulation of ship gun

Paper:
we do technically have a Reddit we just keep forgetting it exists. Sorry, people who are on Reddit, I guess. So some of you are good. Some of you less so. That's my hot take. it's a land of contrasts.

Pencil:
My hot take is that people have varying personalities.

Paper:
It's controversial.

hazel
Hi, I'm Hazel, and I make a podcast with Liz called bread and thread which you might enjoy. If you are a fan of food, or clothes, or other interesting parts of domestic history. We find out interesting facts about things like regional foods, ancient breeds of sheep, and pretty much anything domestic history. So if you'd like to know why it's illegal to import a sheep into Iceland, and what was presented by Queen Victoria to Harriet Tubman, then you might want to check out Bread and thread. Find us at Bread and thread on Twitter, or find us everywhere podcasts exist.

Pencil:
So yeah, we don't have questions. We didn't get any questions this week. So instead, what we're doing is a second idea.

Paper:
We are

Pencil:
very exciting.

Paper:
Four sessions into your scrupulously researched zero supernatural historical campaign, have an NPC nonchalantly ride a unicorn to the moon and see how the players respond.

Pencil:
I really like the idea of instead of zero supernatural campaigns, one supernatural campaign. Like there is one supernatural thing. And it's something really blatant. And I don't mean like, you know, it's like, Oh, you thought this was a no supernatural campaign and aliens evade? I mean, no, you are courtiers in the corner of Louis VIII. And it's all political drama and dealing with nobility and also in the corner, there is a manticore

is it part of the court is it just there?

the manticore is just there. And if you like, if you like - occasionally you have to roll because the manticore has attacked you and you need to fight off the manticore but then it just goes straight back to like negotiating a war between two provinces.

Paper: So I looked at when Louis the eighth was so i could better visualise this and he was a king in the 1220s. And I don't know, I feel like people in the 1220s would just be like, yeah, that's a manticore we all know they exist.

Pencil:
yeah like so firstly, I liked the idea of like, this a really weird concept of all these things supernatural, but it's long enough ago that people don't know they don't exist. So they're just like, okay, yeah, sure, that's fine. Like, it's just a weird thing of like, oh, yeah, fairies don't exist, but we haven't discovered that yet. So we don't have a problem with the fairies.

Paper:
I mean, one issue that I do have, a lot of the time when people try and do like, actual historical TM type stuff, is that they do always forget. They either go like, completely forget that religion and superstition exist at all. Or they just go, well, it's Europe in the past. So everyone is this very specifically American brand of Christianity, and doesn't believe in anything else ever. And it's like, yeah, my dude, have you seen Catholicism?

Pencil:
Yeah, like Christianity is quite the broad range of beliefs actually. We're putting a lot of hot takes into this episode.

Paper:
Yeah, like pretty much the only thing that all Christians believe is like, Jesus was a guy. He might have been the son of he might have been like, literally the Son of God, he might have been God, who knows, but he sure was a dude.

Pencil:
Jesus sure was a dude is my favourite Bible verse. I have my own version of Bible, where it's just that-

Paper:
my point is that you should incorporate all of these like superstitions and beliefs and cryptids and stuff into your historical settings anyway, I think it just makes everything a little bit less grey,

Pencil:
even if they're not real, it's useful to sort of have that kind of belief thing going.

Paper:
Well, yeah, and I mean, what if the, the characters do fervently believe that all of these things are happening, but as the DM you secretly know, the mundane explanation for everything, like everyone's running around, the PCs are convinced that the plague really is their supernatural punishment from God and they need to deal with it. And you know, they happen to find something to quote unquote, appease God that works. But it also happens to, you know, make the rats leave.

Pencil:
there was a te- there was a movie which it wasn't very well received, because it is technically not very good. I really liked it - called Black Death. And the premise is that the main characters are witch hunters and they are tracking down witches who have like made a deal with the devil to protect themselves from the black death. And it turns out that no, they didn't do that, because witches don't exist. They were just an isolated town and you've just just murdered a bunch of people out of superstition. And I'd like to really huh?

Paper:
is that the sean bean one?

Pencil:
might be the shrimp anymore? Yes, it sounds like the Sean Bean one. And yeah,

yeah, is it that one? Yeah, I do like that film.

Yeah, yeah. Cuz I realised I was building up like, you know, you think Oh, yeah, obviously, witches is a real it's a film about witch hunts and it's no, they're just murdering people who are different to them.

which is historically accurate.

Like, yeah, I feel like you should have one like superstition thing, but is in fact caused by goblins just like because I feel like with your thing there's always the possibility to play the sort of like, you know, playing along and they're just like oh yeah, obviously we're we know what's really happening but my character is derderderderder. Which is why you should throw them for a loop like they go into it like no it's it's goblins maybe this one is actually goblins like the first ones were just misinterpreting natural phenomena. But this woman is genuinely being harassed by goblins.

Paper:
This mine collapse was caused by a minor earthquake. This mine collapse was caused by repeated heating and cooling of the rock. This mine is cursed.

Pencil:
Yeah, like you know, it was caused by a minor earthquake and also unrelated kobolds

Paper:
it was caused by a minor earthquake that earthquake was caused by the awakening of the Dragon

Pencil:
yeah yeah,

Paper:
what if they keep finding these mundane explanations for stuff. And then all of those explanations were all caused by the same supernatural thing. Like oh, there was a fire over there there was an earthquake over there, people are going missing over there. It's all a dragon.

Pencil:
Firstly, I think all mystery games should have it's all a dragon as the solution to the mystery, like your film noir kind of who who kills the upcoming presidential candidate. And then in the end, it turns out, it wasn't anything to any of the convoluted political schemes of who benefits or losers from the presidency. They were just eaten by a dragon. There's just a dragon in 1920s Chicago. It's wearing like a little like fedora so no one recognises it's a dragon they think it's just a dude.

Paper:
A dragon in 1920s Chicago feels like a really bad like, Don Bluth rip off VHS that you watch at your grandma's house.

Pencil:
Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, there's Yeah, the dragon is like dragons not trying to commit crime. It's just a dragon. Like he's just walking around roaring, but as I said, it is wearing little fedora. So people think it's just a very angry man. The other thing I was thinking is the inverse of this. Where it's like everything like the players like the characters, or like it's modern day, and the characters or think things have mundane explanations, but the players and the GM obviously know it's supernatural. So you're, they're like, oh, no, my car crashed because, like, wear and tear on the gears and then you're just like, because obviously my character doesn't know it was actually cursed by warlocks. I think what I invented is a masquerade setting where the GM is just really smug about it

Paper:
Or a Monster of the Week game getting ready for a hell of a big reveal. The reveal being you were playing a monster of the week.

Pencil:
what you need to do is...

Paper: tell your players that you've come up with your own powered by the apocalypse game which is just you know, weirdly similar to monster of the of the week but they go along with it. And then it turns out they were actually playing monster of the week the whole time.

Pencil:
Tell your players you've come up with your own entirely original game that you invented yourself and made from ground up and then then like haha, is actually monster of the week.

Paper:
It's called mundane occurrence of the week.

Pencil:
mundance occurrence of the seven days yeah. I want like more games- Yeah. Anyway. The third alternative is again, you've just asked the original idea said. Like yeah, just an NPC is just like yeah, I'm going to the moon jumps across a unicorn right off. But then the game just continues and nothing like that's ever brought up again. If anyone asks, You never said that.

Paper:
wait are we now suggesting gaslighting your players into not believing in the supernatural.

Pencil:
yeah. Which means that when the Dragon attacks the building, they will be less likely to panic. Yeah, like have a manticore in the actual room of the d&d game. But just don't tell the players

Paper:
if they point it out you're just like, I'm sorry, that is my cat and you're being very rude right now.

Pencil:
Manticores don't exist. That's just Steve he looks like that. we're learning more-

Paper:
This is my hideous cat Steve.

Pencil:
Which is also a great way to like refer to your players but yeah. I like it's not quite related idea. But I want the I want like, your charac- players go into like, player characters go to thedungeon you say, oh, yeah, there's a hideous cat in the corner. And it's just see how long it takes them to realise you're talking about a manticore

Paper:
I mean, I have done stuff like that. Where it's like, oh, yeah, there's a really weird cow. And then they start fighting it and oh, it's a bonacon. cause i'm mean,

Pencil:
you just go in and there's an ugly cat and an ugly man under. Okay. And then they're attacked by an ogre and a manticore. There's an unusually large Gecko, you say while rolling up stats for your great worm red dragon.

Paper:
I like the in this scenario you don't mention that the gecko is red, unusual colour. big.

Pencil:
It's a gecko. You know if you don't know what colours geckos normally come in you don't know they're not normally this big.

Paper:
that is like gecko is the size of at least three geckos. Yeah.

Pencil:
that Gecko is at least twice as big as any Gecko you've faced.

Paper:
I just

Pencil:
You say Lich, I say very old man. You encounter a very old man holding his life support device. What do you do? I don't know if this is related to the idea so much as just coming up with ways to be a dick to your charac- your players.

Paper:
I mean, that's that's half of what we do on this podcast.

Pencil:
and the other half is being a dick to your GM. Yeah, I guess you could do the reverse of like, yeah. Yeah, can we play can my PC be a very old man, I guess sure and then you use your Lich power on someone and they're like what was that? I asked at the start. They're very old. They're like 6000 they're a lich

Paper:
You didn't ask how I survived this long.

Pencil:
Yeah, can I can I play a lot like a tall character and like, yes, like cool. Here's my fucking Titan they're 200 foot tall and wave a dragon at people. I think like the thing with DMs what you need to recognise is they are like, you know, Rumpelstiltskin scale fairies, where if you can get them to agree to something by a trickery they are then mystically compelled to hold to it. For the rest of the campaign.

Paper:
The problem is they are also like genies, and if you ask them, if you ask them for something, they're gonna fuck you over with it.

Pencil:
Yeah, so the important thing when starting a new game, is that you must defeat your GM in three riddles in Yeah. And only then can you compel them to accept your character ideas.

Paper:
I mean, that's been my experience.

Pencil:

```
Yeah, yeah. If you haven't defeated your GM in a riddle contest yet, you do need to do fairly important. A lot of people forget, but it is important.

```

Paper:
I feel like I'd be good at riddle contests.

Pencil:
Yeah. That's why you're such a good GM.

Paper:
Like, it's just one of those those that comes into your head. I just, I remembered when I was a kid I read. I decided to get really good at riddles.

Pencil:
Yeah, I feel like I feel like you would be good at a riddle contest actually.

I'm running- I am your DM right now.

Yeah. If you can defeat mode paper in a riddle contest, you do get to replace them on as co host of this podcast.

Paper:
Try me

Pencil:
if you think you can do it. Anyway, that's about it for today.

Paper:
It is. Yeah, the things that I say at the end.

Pencil:
the first riddle.

Paper:
So the first riddle is go to patreon.com/probablyBadRPGideas. If you succeed, you can give us money in exchange for homebrew and bonus episodes and access to the Patreon the Patreon Discord server, where actually the the evening of the day that we're recording this, we're running a game based on a probably bad RPG idea, which is a thing that we do about once a month on there. If you have a question, you can send it to us on Tumblr probably bad RPG ideas or email probablybadpodcast@gmail.com. I'm also on Twitter as badprobably Is there anything else?

Pencil:
We do have Facebook. Yeah, just probably bad podcast and we will soon hopefully when this is up, have a YouTube channel.

Paper:
Yes, people were asking us about putting the podcast on YouTube. So we're gonna it's just probably bad on YouTube, and then twice a week the same as the podcast. so thank you for listening.

both
and remember to have a probably bad day.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai