Sai Hatori

**Sai** is not doing well mentally

## Appearance & Personality

### Appearance

Sai is stress ball of a man. Standing at an unimpressive height of 5'6" and having a very rounded and soft appearance, Sai does not come off as very intimidating at first glance, much to his own dismay, but his appearance is incredibly deceiving. He has a round face with effeminate features and squeezable cheeks. His skin is a darker olive color and he has dark brown/black eyes that have such dark circles around them it looks like he hasn't slept in weeks. His hair (that is black) falls to about his shoulders, with an emo bang completely covering his left eye, and his hair is usually extremely greasy because he simply does not care enough about himself to wash it. His hands and arms are covered in miscellaneous scars from accidents or fighting or whatever the fuck else my guy be in situations. Generally he wears pretty baggy clothes, and it varies between sweatshirts, t-shirts with long sleeves, sweatpants, and baggy jeans.

* 5'6"
* Round
* Greasy

### Personality

Sai is hopelessly introverted. He's extremely reserved and really prefers to keep to himself in any situation, and would really like it if he were just invisible, so that people don't look at him. He doesn't like to be in social interactions, so when he is unfortunately stuck in a conversation or a social situation, he tries to act as disinterested and cold as possible to avoid embarrassing himself. That is because he is so horrifically awkward and bad at socializing that when he DOES engage, he will without fail do or say something weird, or stutter through an entire sentence because Talking to People makes him nervous. Vicious cycle of being so scared of embarrassing himself that he gets flustered and embarrasses himself and then gets more nervous.
Because of this, Sai doesn't have a lot of friends. All of the friendships he has, outside of his sisters, were not initiated by him. Rather, someone extended a hand to him, and Sai instantly attached himself to them-- since most of his friendships were made when he was a lot younger, and he was desperate for people to Care About Him. To the few friends that he does have he is doggedly loyal, and he expects the same from them in return. It's easier for him to talk to someone when he's comfortable with them, so he's automatically more social and pleasant with the people he's friends with. Underneath his cold shell of an exterior, Sai is a good person, he just tries to hide that part of himself because he does not trust easily and doesn't like to Show Weakness, as if being a pleasant person is somehow, pathetic. Entirely unrelated to his social ineptness, because he spends so much time alone, he has developed a very creative mind and enjoys spending his free time doing something with his hands that ISN'T beating the fuck out of people. He likes to make things for his friends and sisters.
Anyways on a much more negative note, Sai has a short temper and very little patience with people, which also contributes to why he has no friends and why nobody really likes him. He's unforgiving and quick to hold a grudge-- wrong him once and he probably won't ever forget, even if it seems like he has (since he forgets literally everything else). He has a nasty little habit of trying to ignore his problems and hide them from virtually everyone, including himself, because he likes to pretend that he doesn't need help and would rather turn to substance abuse and physically lashing out for a quick and temporary fix, rather than actually reaching out to someone and being vulnerable enough to talk to anyone, since he sees himself as a burden that nobody should have to deal with. He feels entirely unworthy of love or being loved or even being worried about because he does not think he has proven himself as anything anyone should ever waste their time on, as he is nothing and will be nothing, and he feels guilty whenever he selfishly thinks that people should care (normal). And, like the sugar on top, he has this cute little thing called violent tendencies. Because he's absolutely horrible at talking, this extends to Talking it Out. He almost always resorts to violence to fix his problems if he isn't running from them. Emotions that he bottles and pushes aside show themselves in self destructive violent outbursts, be it towards himself or someone else. The only thing keeping Sai from turning into his dad is the fact that he would never take out his emotions on the people he cares about, and he rationalizes his violence by telling himself he only hurts people who deserve it. By god get help.
To anyone he happens to meet or interact with on a very surface level, he just comes off as a complete asshole. For the most part he's very quiet, but when forced to speak he will make it pretty clear he doesn't want to be in the interaction, either by saying the rudest and most heinous things to deter people from ever speaking to him again, or just, giving them the dirtiest fucking looks. He's extremely irritable and quick to completely shut himself out of a conversation and go unresponsive. It is... very hard to befriend this guy because he tries to make himself seem as untouchable as possible because he is Naturally very distrusting of people and their intentions. He is my little blorbo.
## Relations

* Family
* Wadeport

* As far as Sai is concerned, Kisoku is a psychotic and violent control freak who is set on making everyone he is supposed to love as miserable as he can, and he wants himself and his sisters as far away from him as humanely possible. If Kisoku were to drop dead, or die under Mysterious Circumstances, Sai would kiss the person who killed him, and dance on his grave. To say he hates this man is a fucking understatement, and although he hates the person he's become because of him, he doesn't take back any of the punches he's thrown in his direction. They were all well deserved, and he's always looking for a reason to attack him. Normal family situation. He can't remember a time where his dad hadn't turned their home into a place Sai was actively trying to escape. He hates that he's scared of him, and he hates that his dad knows he's scared of him. He wishes he was a deadbeat. It would be so much better if he were just never there. Or maybe if Sai had tried harder in school, or tried ot be a better son, it would've started to get better. But all of that is just wishful thinking. In another year, he'll just have to deal with the aftermath of 18 years under Kisoku's roof instead of the man himself.

* ughhhhhh guhhh ughhhhh

* If it wasn't obvious from the fucking rainbow of bullets, Sai's feelings on his brother are so contradictory it hurts. On one hand, he loves and respects him for everything. He's his brother, of course, and he took on a role in Sai's life that no teenager should have to take on for three kids that were 5 years younger than him. He provided him with the validation and help that his parents never gave him, and filled the huge void in his life that their father had left. But on the other hand, he hates and resents him. For abandoning them when he had it the best, for being the only one to experience what it was like to have a mother at some point in his life, for setting the precedent so *unbelievably* high that none of them could have ever hoped to live up to what their parents viewed, and still view, as the 'perfect son'... for pretending like Sai was special, and that he was going to keep him in his life when he cut everyone else out, for leaving Sai with such an awful feeling of guilt for not believing him. If he were to see him, he'd put his hood up and keep walking. As far as he's concerned, Izumi is as dead as he's made himself out to be. He hates him, he idolizes him, he misses him and he never wants to see him again. He was one of his best friends at one point, and now all that's left of him is a dusty, untouched bed and a side of the room that Sai refuses to let his mess touch.

* Annya was Sai's first best friend, and will always be his best friend. He loves her more than words can describe, and would do (and has done) anything to protect her. In his eyes, she is the light that is keeping him and Ritsuko from doing something completely and utterly drastic, and she is his other half, as stereotypical as that is for twins. Annya and Sai have seen each other through every terrible thing at home and every terrible thing at school, but of course there's still the emotional brick wall that Sai has kept between them since they were about 14. He'd really rather she not know how much is wrong with him, even if she seems to be extremely concerned and very willing to help him, as she's tried to tell him several times. He doesn't really want to hear it. There are things that he knows she doesn't tell him, as transparent with him as she is, and there's things she knows he won't tell her. They both know what those things are, but they're left unsaid. He knows she's worried about him, but he just wishes she wasn't, even if he does (very selfishly) want people to worry about him. He wants to be open with her, but he just can't get past the feeling that he's going to burden her with worry. Secretly he is very jealous of her success in school and her ability to be emotionally open with people, but that is so far buried in the back of his mind and he feels so, so guilty anytime it's dragged out to the front. He wishes she wasn't so forgiving. He knows that she'd forgive either of their parents with enough convincing, and he knows she'd honestly probably forgive anyone given the chance. He likes that she sees the good in people, but sometimes he wishes that she was just a little more cynical and distrusting. The last thing he'd ever want was for Annya to get any more hurt than she already has been.

* Ritsuko is his second best friend, solely because she was born too late to be his first. L + skill issue. Like Annya, they've seen each other through everything imaginable, and he loves her more than he could possibly try to vocalize. Unsurprisingly, he doesn't try to vocalize it to either of his sisters. He just hopes they know how much he cares. He would kill thousands for Ritsuko... if she'd just LET HIM. It drives him crazy that she's so adamantly against him defending her. It makes him feel useful. She does too much for him, just for him to be unable to do anything for her in return. She makes him feel a little bit useless sometimes, and though on one hand her concern for his wellbeing and academics is greatly appreciated, he thinks she should just stop wasting her time on him. Unlike Annya, the emotional brick wall between them is a two way street, and they are both so inept when it comes to Feelings and Feeling Things it hurts. He's kind of grateful for that... on one hand... of course there's always the other hand but that's just a trend with Sai because he is deranged. Very secretly, he's jealous of her for being better than him, but he keeps that jealousy deeply repressed and feels guilty whenever he thinks about it. She works extremely hard, and he respects that a lot about her, and the tiny bit of favoritism she recieves is extremely well deserved. Sometimes her work ethic concerns him. Sometimes a lot of things about her concerns him. He is physically unable to vocalize this, even if he wants to, he literally does not know how to approach the topic.

* redo

* redo

**Paisley Wells**

Pre-Fuckening

* In middle school he used to be friends with her at church, because she was a kindred spirit and they could sit quietly together and just enjoy each other's company-- or talk about shit and fuck if they wanted to. He thought Paisley was pretty cool, but of course he RUINED IT by being an absolute delinquent. He knows that she stopped talking to him due to her parents wishes, and though he misses her, he feels weird being around her now. He wonders what her parents said about him to her, and what she thinks of him now.

The Fuckening

* Sai has come to the executive decision that they are two completely different people now, and also has reached the totally normal conclusion that he's pissed she's all Kian talks about. Which is totally her fault. Totally. Yeah.

**Jack Darcy**

Pre-Fuckening

* Jack is, essentially, a replacement Izumi. Or at least Sai tried to put him in that position in his life-- at some point, Jack started to feel like an equal, rather than a figure on a pedestal Sai was desperately trying to reach. Jack took Sai under his wing without much of a second thought, taught him how to defend himself, played some baseball with him, and was generally a pretty positive figure for him. And, then. He isn't sure who got the other into what or who is really enabling who, but, well, here they are now! Sai has a sinking suspicion that when he started to spiral, he just dragged Jack with him. And while he is grateful to have Jack's companionship, there's always that quiet lurking fear in the back of his mind due to Jack's,,, violent nature. He will never ever in his life speak these worries to another soul. While he has a clear sense of respect towards Jack, there's a glaring lack of trust, partly because of Sai's fears, and also because of the lack of communication between them. Sai feels like he hardly knows him, and due to this he keeps his own life private from him as well.

The Fuckening

* He chose a girl over him. Not just any girl-- *Faith*. Sai would be happy that Jack was getting clean and straightening himself out, if it weren't at the cost of their friendship. Sai can change too!! He can, he really can, Jack doesn't need to cut him out of his life! He feels abandoned, but somewhere in the back of his mind he knows it's mostly his fault. He's the one who dragged Jack down along with him in the first place. Despite this, he can't get over the selfish, selfish feeling of abandonment and betrayal that of all people, Jack would choose Faith Iverson over him.

**Deya Darcy**

* Deya was essentially a packaged deal with Jack once she moved to Michigan. He'd met her once or twice before over summers when she was visiting. He never asked what exactly their situation was-- he's not inept enough to realize that's none of his business. When she moved to Michigan permanently, he ended up hanging out with her a lot more, and they grew to be close friends because who DOESN'T like Deya? Well, Ritsuko I guess. He didn't actually know that she was friends with the Faith Group until he'd formed a bond with her, and kept a bit of a wall between them, mostly because he didn't think he could associate himself even a little bit with that group after what they did to Annya. But, Deya was sweet enough to where he could overlook that, just a little bit, and hang out with her exclusively. He's actually more grateful than words could describe that she got kind of exiled from the group, and also broke up with Eric. He won't say that overtly to her face though, because that's rude.

The Fuckening

* Deya is 100% one of the closest friends he's ever had, and they've only been pushed closer by the shared desire to dig up something absolutely heinous on Faith. They're on the cusp of something, he knows it...

**Faith Iverson**

* Sai has always HATED Faith. She was a complete ass to Annya completely out of the blue in middle school, and her and her ugly little friend made her come home crying almost every day. And then she did the same fucking thing to Deya in highschool!! He doesn't understand how ANYONE can like her when she's so clearly such a shitty, fake person, down to the very way she speaks. Sai can't pick up on much, except for when a person is sickly sweet to try and get you to trust them for some ulterior motive. Something about her gets his brain firing on all cylinders-- and not just because of hatred. She rubs him the wrong way, something about her is off and he doesn't like it. He can't entirely place his finger on what, though, and is quite sure that he's insane, since everyone else seems to love her.

* Oh my god. Oh my god! He was never insane, she's actually insane! In fact, she's so insane he really wishes he was crazy the whole time!

**Dylan Ferrari**

* He simply could not hurt this guy enough!

* Added layer of he COULD be involved with a mass murder plot.

**Eric Hicks**

* This guy can die.

* This guy can die, but also, he might be involved in a mass murder plot.

**Jayden Perry**

* Annoying and a piece of shit.

* A literal murderer! Somehow, he got worse than the other two, because he's clinically insane and also a murderer!

**Ricky Montgomery**

* Can't attack this one because he'll cry and can't fight back.

* He went missing because he knew something he shouldn't have. Sai feels bad-- like maybe there's something he could do for him, but he doesn't know what. He just hopes he manages to make it back alright, even if he is possibly the most annoying guy on the entire planet. He was never a bad person.

**Alto Spencer**

* He does not like Alto that much and would prefer to never see her again. The way she looks at him makes him feel sad and like he has wronged her on a deep and personal level despite hardly speaking to her in his life. Predictably he feels bad for yelling at her in the lunch room, and MUCH worse for punching her in the face, but that doesn't mean he wants to talk to her. It means the opposite actually.

* He can't say he likes her. He tolerates her. She's still obnoxious and awful to have to drag information from, but she did it. Even if it might cost her her life, and also the lives of like, everyone she seems to be friends with, she told them what they needed to know. He doesn't like her. He will never like her. But he can tolerate her.

**Marina Hill**

* Sai thinks Marina is an absolutely garbage human. He doesn't understand how anyone could possibly like a vapid, reptile-looking woman who rubs her wealth in everyone's faces and is so overtly two-faced it's funny. If it were socially acceptable to hit women, he would have turned her to dust a very, very long time ago. He avoids her at all costs.

* Human garbage, lizard person, should die, and also might be a murderer. What next!

**Chloe Bailey**

* Sai groups Chloe in with the rest of the Faith group. Shitty people.

**Venna Tyrell**

* Shitty fucking person!

**Blair Wilson**

* Even if they had a semi-pleasant talk that *one* time, that doesn't mean Sai's ever going to forgive her for what her friends did to Annya. As far as he's concerned, she's a shit person, and he'll continue to think that until the day he dies.

* they gave him a lighter.

* Sai didn't like Kian at first, but on second thought, this guy isn't so bad. He's pretty easy to talk to-- or at least, it's easy to just sit and listen to him while he talks and Sai doesn't feel obligated to try and keep a conversation going instead of sitting in silence. He'd like to get to know Kian better-- he likes Kian. A lot. Like, a lot. If Kian made a move on him, he definitely wouldn't be opposed! If Kian wanted to talk about HIM like he talked about Paisley, he definitely wouldn't be opposed! He feels totally normal things towards this guy!

* Sai thinks Lei is cool and he wants to get to know him better. He's slightly unnerved by how well they get along, but, well. Naturally he's attracted to him because he is a guy that befriended him and he thinks he's kind of cool.

* He's still annoying as fuck and he does not like this guy, but now that he knows he's gay maybe he can cut him some slack. And also try to figure out how to, without talking to him about sexuality or sex or being gay, let him know that he is also kind of into guys and also kind of very into the idea of making out. Kindly, die.

## Fuck and shit I Can't fit Anywhere Else

### Interests

* Sai has always liked music. He sees is at a super quick escape from conversations and having to hear other people, and on top of that it's enjoyable to listen to (unlike people talking). It's also an easy way to bond with someone without really having to talk. He enjoys sitting in silence and listening to music. He wishes he had the freedom to actually learn how to play an instrument, but is kind of scared his parents will get mad.

* Drawing, kind of. Sai is horrific at drawing but quite enjoys doodling in his notebook, be it shapes and patterns or some god awful attempt at a human (Salvador).

* Woodworking. Even if his hands are super shaky and he cuts his fingers open a lot, he really likes having something to do with his hands, and he loves seeing things he draws become real, because he is about 100 times better with 3D things than he is with a pencil and paper. He likes to make things to give to his friends, because he seems to appreciate everything he makes. He wishes he could get better at painting what he makes, because most of his carvings are just... wood colored.

* Fighting. Even if he would never REALLY admit it because he's scared of sounding insane, he does enjoy fighting sometimes, as it clears his head and gives him an outlet for all of his pent up emotions. It makes him feel like he's strong and he can stand up for himself, since historically he couldn't really do that in many situations, due to previously being Small and A Child and also currently very bad with his words. He truly does not like the reputation he has garnered, he doesn't LIKE being seen as a violent psychopath since the only other violent psychopath is his dad, who was, pretty much the entire reason why he felt compelled to learn how to defend himself so well, but picking a couple of fights at school and hitting people who DEFINITELY deserve it doesn't make him insane... right?

* Skateboarding: He likes this because it makes him feel cool, and also gives him something to do when he decides he wants to leave his house.

* Sai likes to smoke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like genuinely, he enjoys the act of smoking. Whether or not he is smoking something that will get him high doesn't matter-- even if the high (whatever that high is) is something he also seeks out, he just needs something to Distract him from the Everything, and having the uncontrollably need for nicotine is good enough! Basically he picked it up as a hobby because his only hobby at the time was agonizing over the Everything and it has since turned into an addiction and also blossomed into several other addictions.

### Fun Little Tidbits of Info

* Sai's taste in music consists of alt. rock, indie rock, rock, punk, etc. He likes bands such as Green Day, Car Seat Headrest, MCR, Nirvana, Panchiko, and many other things. He basically has my taste in music just heavier on the rock and lighter on the indie.

* He used to roleplay Warrior Cats with the rest of the Wadeport weirdos.
	+ He had one account where he made male ocs that lived relatively normal male warrior cat oc lives. His favorite OC from that account was named Shadowfang and he was, emo, and never took a mate or had kits because he murdered someone and got exiled.
	+ He had a second account that he pretended was an ENTIRELY different person. He went as far as using Puffin on his phone to use this account so his sisters didn't notice. He made girl ocs on this account so that they could have male mates and it wouldn't be gay

* He has an OC named Salvador that he likes to torture for fun. He is not very good at drawing him. For every bad drawing he does of him, Salvador will suffer a little more.

* He was very into Creepypasta when he was in middle and early highschool which is honestly really telling about him as a human being. He was kind of in love with Jeff the Killer and also Ben Drowned and would secretly read gay fanfiction of them on Wattpad. He is normal.
	+ There is a fanfiction.net account floating around the Internet that got super famous because of its Jeff the Killer fanfictions. You'll never guess which demented 12 year old was behind That one. He has tried to figure out the password the wipe the web of these heinous, heinous scripts, but alas, he deleted the email it was attached to and now it is just, there. And he knows it is there.

* He is supposed to wear glasses, but they got broken at some point during a fistfight and nobody took him to get them replaced, so now he's just kind of blind.

* Speaking of fights he isn't as insane as people think he is, he just came in with a fuck ton of bruises every so often and made up, getting into a bunch of Random Ass Fist Fights with people to cover up the fact that he was just; getting into fist fights with his dad.