Greenfaulds High School

Greenfaulds High School is in many ways the birthplace of the Blues Brothers. Originally built in 1971, the school stood proudly for 45 years, and a majority of the cast of the Blues Brothers attended.

Most of the main members of the Blues Brothers attended, being enrolled between 2010 and 2016, the only exception to this being the Ratboy, who instead was banished to Cumbernauld Academy, which was slowly sinking into the ground.

The original building was destroyed on 29th September 2016, and replaced with a newer, smaller building. While much more aesthetically pleasing, some of those who were still attending bemoaned the fact that while certain aspects had been improved (such as better sport facilities), the school had deteriorated in other areas, such as the destruction of the theatre and replacement with only a simple stage. However, these changes were made after the main cast had already left, so who cares really?

## Characters

Many of the people around Greenfaulds at this time have become notable figures in Blues Brothers lore. Just some of the people around at this time include:

### Main Cast

* Callum "COB" O'Brien
* Fraser Carnegie
* Liam Stewart
* Lewis Gray
* Robbie "Rob" McNaught
* Ryan "Skaarly" Crampton
* Stuart Noble

### Side Characters

* Dow
* Chicken Joe

### Faculty

#### Leading Staff

* Dr. John May
* Ronnie Bowie

#### Teaching Staff

* Alan Ritchie
* Clulow
* Kevin McCann
* Kenny MacLeod
* James Trotter
* Mr. Kerr
* Mr. Paton
* Padler

Janitorial Staff

* Robert Ross
* Cammy
* The female jannie

## Layout

The school was a marvel of architecture, being an authentic throwback to the prison style of schools of the 1970s. The school had 8 floors in total, and an ajoining yard and pitch.

### Exterior

There were two main entrances, one from Athelstane Road, and another heading to Scott Drive. Regardless of the entrance, there was undoubtedly an angry resident raging at the road being packed with kids being dropped off, having the nerve to need to get to school, the bastards.

Of the external features of the school, the yard saw far more use of the two, being the main area the students would congregate, and the main stomping grounds of the infamous Robert Ross, who ruled the yard with an iron litter picker.

The yard also doubled as a fighting pit, a scrap being a festive event that all students looked forward to. In the event that a fight broke out, all students present would rush to see the spectacle, and form a ring surrounding the gladiators. This would inevitably be followed by Robert (or Dr John May, should he not be in Cancer Alley ending the smoker agenda) slowly making his way to end the event, and while whoever was left standing at this point would be the victor of the fight, they would then be sent to the office, an embarrassing act for all.

The pitch was used only in three very specific circumstances. The first was in the event of being used by P.E. This was occasionally used for track and field events, however, due to the P.E. curriculum consisting solely of cross country, this rarely saw use, and was more so utilised as the stage for intense games of rounders when both teachers and students couldn't really be bothered toward the end of the year.

The second and most common use was as the gathering point in the case of a fire. As the most common occurrence of this was a drill, this generally involved the whole school leaving the building, milling about for around 20 minutes in Scottish weather, then going back in. One notable instance of this involving Callum O'Brien, a towel, and Scottish autumn temperatures.

The final use of the pitch was exclusive to winter months, as the staging ground of epic battles between the years of students. These conflicts involved the long range slinging of snowballs, the creation of ironclad snow bunkers, and the loss of many young men, in skirmishes akin to the Battle of Stalingrad. These battles could last seconds, even minutes, before someone was pelted by a snowball with ice inside, whereby the battles were inevitably banned until the next year, and the cycle would begin again.

### Lower Floors

#### Basements

The lower portion of the school was referred to as the basements, despite actually being the ground floor. These were split according to the school's colour-coded stairwell systems, having orange, purple and yellow stairwells (ordered from furthest to closest to the main entrance).

The orange basement was often barren, and hanging around here meant you were a true social pariah. Between each stairwell were a set of hallways and the toilets, and going to the toilet during class meant a school-wide trek to reach the remote location. The hallway containing the boys' toilet, and connecting the basements to the theatre, Technical and P.E. departments and office were often rowdy, filled with younger students being loud and brash, or being home to shady characters such as Dow or Chicken Joe.

The basements were generally dank, the hallway with the boys' toilets smelling particularly of piss, and many a rumour persisted of a student dying down there.

#### Theatre and Gallery

Much like the rest of the school, the theatre was impressive when it was built in the 70s. 40 years later, the theatre had comfy-ish chairs and not much else. Despite having a drama department, the theatre was only ever used for assemblies, school shows, or for dance students.

The adjoining gallery looked down on the main gym hall, and acted mainly as a thoroughfare to the technical department. Otherwise, it's main use was for storing tables and being where P.E. played table tennis.

The area was however, used as a hang-out spot for the main cast at times during S5 and 6. Otherwise, it only really acted as a lobby for parent evenings, or for students to stand in before being trotted in in specific order during awards ceremonies.

#### Technical Department

The technical department was split into an upstairs and downstairs. Upstairs contained classes for Graphics and design aspects of technical courses, while downstairs had the main floor for woodworking and workshops. The floor of this workshop contained a sunken area to allow students to go underneath cars they would presumably be working on, however, much like the mechanic course, the true use of this feature was lost to time.

Despite the prison-like atmosphere and abundance of weapons, there are no incidents of students utilising the tools available for assault, which is quite surprising.

#### P.E. Bit

The P.E. Bit was split between the swimming pool, immediately on the left from entry, the two changing rooms straight ahead and to the right (for girls and boys respectively) and the two gym halls, the large one on the right and the small one on the left.

The swimming pool was discontinued around 4th or 5th year I canny really mind, because it was too expensive to keep going. The continued expense of chlorine meant that, much like Cumbernauld Academy, Greenfaulds' budget was slowly sinking into the ground.

The small gym hall was used rather exclusively for gymnastics and trampolining when actually being taught in, but the real reason this is notable is for the intense games of dodgeball which took place in this room. These games were close to life or death, and slow reflexes and bad situational awareness would lead to a swift elimination from a dodgeball being pelted at you at speed of 35mph. Being eliminated early was not only sore, but a mark of shame and disgrace, and there are at least 3 records of students being hospitalised following a blow from a speeding ball.

On the other hand, it was possible for a student to earn glory by solely eliminating a large number of the opposing team, surviving against the odds on your own, or, in the ultimate act of skill and bravery, catching the ball, allowing one of your fallen comrades to return to the field. Being responsible for a comeback or a revival was a glory few could hope to achieve, and the jubilation they were showered in was monumental as a result.

The main hall was used for all sorts, everything from football to the bleep test, and was generally the main area for any indoor activities that took place. As mentioned previously however, because the P.E. curriculum consisted solely of cross country, this wasn't used all that often, but is notable enough to mention in an educational sense.

The main reason for mentioning the gym is because of it's use as the location of the annual school ceilidhs. These often involved weeks of ceilidh dancing practice in the gym beforehand, and as P.E. was only mandatory until 4th year, meant the whole affair was awkward for all involved, as the young boys had to make physical contact with smelly girls at a time before they had awakened their true shagger prowess.

The real ones were the students who paid for tickets to attend the actual ceilidh nights which took place here, where the gym was transformed into a Christmas themed wonderland, following weeks of skiving from everyone else and all the work being done by the School Captains to enable the transformation.

Despite many attending, only true chads were able to make use of this time to dance with members of their preferred opposite gender, and the event saw many a loser go and not do anything with the time, such as Lewis, who famously attended the event one year only to play solitaire on his phone the whole time.

### Ground Level

#### Main Entrance

The main entrance to the school was from the Athelstane Drive side, and from here one could inquire at reception for guidance to where they needed to go. Heading through the doors ahead took them to Hall 1, one of the senior halls, if they were in the mood to be embarrassed they could ascend to the office, head right and down into the pits of the basements, or left and up to the main classroom areas. There were also seats here for the sick to await being given a lift home, and this was often met with judgement of your peers for being a blatant skive.

#### Office

Heading up a set of stairs from the entrance lead to the office, however, one would need nerves of steel to even consider climbing a single step. Being sent to the office was of course an embarrassing act for all, and going there willingly was in turn an admission of shame. One would only really go here as punishment, because they were late, to hand something in, to ask Ronnie Bowie for guidance, or, in the ultimate act of embarrassment, to ask for the key to the spare toilet, as the main ones were usually locked during class time. Doing so would bring with it either a look of judgement from the office ladies, or worst of all, minutes of being berated by Robert Ross, the ultimate shame.

#### Halls

There were seven halls in total, halls 1-6 being connected in sets of two, and hall 7 on its ownsome at the end. These were ordered 1-7 in ascending order from closest to furthest away from the main entrance.

Halls 1 and 2 were the senior halls, and the right to grace these hallowed halls were reserved to S5 and 6 only. Compared to the rest of the halls, these were far more organised than the melee that was the general halls, but could still become crowded. The halls were also intended to be a study area for those with free periods, however this was often used more as a skive parlour during these times. This is also the area in which the famous 'ok face' picture was taken.

Halls 3 and 4 were the main lunch halls for the rest of the students, and were an absolute riot. Around 300 screaming weans could be in here at one time, and it was often down to the senior students to police the lines that formed toward the dinner ladies as best they could. The lines were tame in comparison however, to the absolute rammies that took place around the card machines. Every child wanted to put money on their cards to eat, and many a first year has been trampled by the bigger, stronger students looking to secure a meal as quickly as possible.

Halls 5 and 6 are a mystery, as no one has actually been inside them outside of exam times, so there could be literally anything in there. During exams, these were bog standard halls with nothing in them, bar singular tables set in rows and columns, a wall clock, an overly loud heating system, and a pair of skeletons roaming the halls to prevent any cheating. Otherwise, your guess is as good as mine as to what was in here.

Hall 7 was used for the music department, being split into two separate rooms. The first room would be occupied by whatever transient teacher was there for that year, and the room in the back was the domain of one Alan Ritchie. The room was covered in posters for various clubland albums, and keyboards formed an impenetrable pen around the desks in the middle. There were also apparently practice rooms in the back, but considering how long Ritchie had been teaching there, this is probably more likely where he lives, as it is doubtful he has ever actually left the room.

### Stairwells

The main floors of the school were set out across two sides of the school, and lettered A-F, in alternating fashion. So, if one were to climb the main stairs from bottom to top, the order would go D floor, A floor, E floor, B floor, etc.

The school's floor operated on strict one way systems during times between classes, and the main stairwell was no exception. There was a strict flow of direction of up only between classes and at the start of the day, and downstairs only at break and lunch. Managing a flood of students going up or down stairs required a watchful eye of course, so often times members of staff would need to be on hand to ensure order was maintained, such as Padler's unflinching defence of D Floor, or Clulow's Mr. X-like ability to seemingly be anywhere at any time, ready to dash the hopes of any chancers trying to go against the direction of traffic.

Speaking of Resident Evil, the strict one-way system on the stairs and floors meant that students would, not unlike the famous horror franchise, have to plan a route through the school to ensure the quickest route from class to class. Along with this, there was a clear risk/reward calculation that had to be taken into consideration as to whether or not it was worth it for one to try and go against the one-way system. This would carry with it the risk of being caught and turned around (losing precious time, and ending up late to class, looking like a major chump), or being betrayed by other disgruntled students blocking the way, causing the same issue. Couple this with the fact that most residents of Cumbernauld look and act like zombies, the comparisons write themselves.

Outside of the main stairwell, there also exist the yellow, purple and orange stairwells connecting A, B and C floor, and the stairwell connecting D, E and F floors. As the floors themselves have one-way systems, effective utilisation of these connectors was key in getting to where one wanted to go.

### Upper Floors

#### D Floor

The odd floors (D, E and F), did not have strict one way systems, and so were free-reign for traffic. Sadly, because the classes found on these floors were irrelevant, they were rarely busy.

D Floor may have been the least relevant floor of all. The only thing saving the floor from eternal irrelevancy was the presence of a few rogue maths classrooms, particularly those of Padler and Mr. "Guys, can I just say" Paton.

Otherwise, the floor was used for classes that would be attended only by women or gayboys, like Home Economics or Drama.

#### A Floor

Now we're on the real shit. None of this artsy-fartsy acting garbage or cookery nonsense.

A Floor is the realm of the big brains. Traffic on this floor directs from the stairwell to the Library, and contained many of the key classes through the early years. Starting from the entrance the floor hosted many maths classrooms, and the closer one would get to the library, the more and more English-centric the floor became.

#### E Floor

E Floor was the realm of science. The important sciences like Chemistry and Biology mainly resided here.

This floor is also the birthplace of the old adage: "If you're no gonnae try, I'm no gonnae try."

#### B Floor

Social Sciences: the floor.

This floor is the only of the even floors where traffic is directed toward the stairwell, meaning you'd only be able to access the classes closest to the entrance from the three coloured stairwells.

Starting from the end of the floor furthest from the stairs, the floor consisted of Modern Languages (French, German and Spanish), a few English classes, Modern Studies, a rare computing and R.E. classes.

#### F Floor

Gonna be honest, I've no clue about this one. I had like, one class up here and it was Leadership, so...

There was also a lecture theatre here that I think was used, again, like once.

#### C Floor

This is a weird one. The flow of traffic on this floor headed from the stairwell to the far end of the floor.

Starting from the stairs, there were a few music classes, however the floor was dominated mostly by computing, business and administration classes. There was then a wee bit at the end for Geography and History, for some reason.

## Uniform

Greenfaulds was rather lax on the enforcement of it's uniform policies, requiring only the basic uniform of a white shirt, black trousers/skirt and tie.

The school is distinguished in that it has two sets of ties, one for the junior pupils - S1 through 4 - that was a solid blue tie with diagonal yellow stripes.

## Nearby Locations

As the school was one of the main locations for the early years of the Blues Brothers, it should come as no surprise that the school served as a hub of sorts between other notable locations in the lore. These include:

* Cancer Alley
* The Shop
* The Van