Fake TPOT 35b: This Insvenska Thing

Warning! This page may contain **spoilers** of a popular video.

"**This Insvenska Thing**" is the second part of the non-canon thirty-fifth episode of *TPOT* by Jacknjellify. It was released on 7 June 1985. This episode is only headcanon to me, that is, until the real TPOT 2 comes out, after which it splits from the rest of the series to become an alternate universe. An alternate title is "**Wake Up a Little**". During the creation process, this episode was known as "**Del Två**", the first in a two-part special known as "**The Swedish Show**" (as this episode was originally titled at first, together with other titles such as "**Nice Word for a Swede to Say**", "**Something's Going On**" and "**The Swedish Virus**").

Author's note: Your advisory for this episode! (See the caption of the image to your right for more info.)

Author's note #2: Hey, it's been 4 years since BFB premiered! Happy birthday, revelations that the characters from *X Finds Out His Value* are canon to the BFDI universe!

Author's note #3: I have nothing against the Swedish people/language/country; in fact, I'd love to go there one day. Still, I had fun writing a take on the culture shock people experience when surrounded by a language they don't know, and what better language to write about than the one I most want to learn?

Description if this were on YouTube:

The long-awaited second part of this super special episode of THE POWER OF TWO is finally here! Oh joy, oh rapture... oh, this has been seen! Now have a look at what else happens a strange visitor shows up on the set. Yep, there's another one, but oroa dig inte; hen är oftast harmlös om det inte vore för språksituationen ÅH SKIT

Previous episode: "B\*R\*A\*S\*I\*L"

Next episode: "These Aren't the Peace Talks You're Looking For"

## Cold open

### **Edge of the set**

**Scene**Unlike most second parts of two-parters, this episode doesn't begin as a continuation of the last scene. Rather, it takes place near the end of the previous episode, only shown from the perspective of someone who isn't Pencil. **Scene**: The contestants run along the edge of the TPOT set, far away from the Second Hotel. A never-seen-before background: darkening lush greenery and the end of the yellow grass pattern mark the part of the perimeter that neither the contestants are allowed to leave nor outsiders are allowed to enter. **Clock** and **Snowball** aggressively race against each other in the front, while the others stand at different points on the track depending on how fast they are going—they mostly run at a remarkably uniform rate.
* **Winner**: You know what's funny? We run at the same pace.
* **Golf Ball**: Thanks for pointing that out, Winner.
* **Winner**: Was that sarcasm?
* **Golf Ball**: No, but since you brought it up, I'm starting to become more aware of my... unathleticism. [*catches her breath*]
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: We're not the fastest people around.

[*Tennis Ball indicates the others up in the front. One can see a tiny Snowball pushing a tiny Clock out of the way.*]

* **Baske****t****ball**: Oh no, now we'll never get to Snowball in time!
* **B****o****k**: It's fine, Basketball; it's just contest prep.
* **P****i****n**: And you don't even get to see Snowball in his cardinal's costume.
* **Baske****t****ball**: *Aaah, why is he still wearing that?!*

[*Meanwhile,* **Death PACT** *are further ahead, running faster than their non–death-preventing counterparts. Remote rhythmically beats two sticks against each other.*]

* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Yeah, why *is* Snowball still wearing that? I don't think I can ever get used to this new change, at least within my lifetime.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: And you live long.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Mm-hmm.

[*View of a tiny Snowball helping a tiny Clock up.*]

* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Pen, during the break, you were with him in Rome, where one is most likely to find people, who dress in the same way, that Snowball, does now. Not to be direct or anything, but surely this must have been your doing.
* **Li****y**: As it always is.
* **P****en**: Everything's my fault? I think that's a terrible thing to say.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: But it frequently is. Not in a bad way, but, you know.

[*Remote, Liy and Pen laugh.* **Bok** *speeds past them.*]

* **P****en**: Whoa, speedster, what's the rush?
* **Li****y**: Are you actually *trying*, Bok?

[*Bok turns around; thus she is running backwards.*]

* **B****o****k**: Can't talk. Have to flee.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Why?
* **B****o****k**: Just... whatever you do, don't look at the hotel.

[*Bok sprints off.*]

* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: What was that?
* **P****en**: I don't know, but now I suddenly feel like looking at the hotel.

[*Pen looks at the Second Hotel. He vaguely sees the extremely small figures of Two and Pencil, sitting on chairs for the latter's interview, and he gasps loudly.*]

* **P****en**: Oh my pen factory!
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: She told you not to look.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: What is it?
* **P****en**: It's... it's Pencil!
* **Li****y**: Pencil?
* **P****en**: Y'know, the one that got eliminated first in BFB—
* **Li****y**: Obviously I know who Pencil is.

[*She turns around and shows Pen her back tattoo, which has her and the EXITers on it.*]

* **Li****y**: But are you sure it's her?
* **P****en**: It's just gotta be! I can spot my girlfriend from miles away!
* **Li****y**: Hmm... [*straying off the footpath and, out of curiosity, checking out the hotel to see if it is indeed Pencil on the chair*] You're right. [*squinting*] It's definitely her.

[*Pen lets out a squeak of excitement and places his fist over his heart.*]

* **P****en**: Oh, my heart... Pencil! [*He faints. Basketball, Winner* etc. *run past him and his friends without batting an eye.*]
* **Li****y**: [*slapping Pen*] ***Wake up för fan!***

[*He gets up and adjusts his cap.*]

* **P****en**: I'm going to say hi.
* **Li****y**: Are you kidding? Not when you look like that!
* **P****en**: Huh? [*He takes out his mirror and sees that the back of his cap is covered with grass.*] Goodness, you're right! Even a fella as fit as me needs to freshen up for his *fidanzata*. Hey, Black Hole! D'you think you can—
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Let me guess: fly you to our hotel room?
* **P****en**: Yeah, can you? For a Death PACTer?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Oh, all right. For a Death PACTer.
* **P****en**: Thanks, eh!
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Remote, you run with Liy, while I help this *loverboy* get ready.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Got it.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Ready, man?
* **P****en**: You bet.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Then jump. [*rises*]
* **P****en**: Hup!

[**Pen** *jumps up, coming into the orbit of* **Black Hole***.*]

* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Can't we just run back to Two?
* **Li****y**: Heck yeah. [*Remote takes Liy's hand and runs at supersonic speed to the middle of the set, where the hotel is located.*] Whoooooooaaaaa!

### **Outside the hotel**

**Scene**Neither Pencil nor Two notice Black Hole and Pen floating above them; Two is about to sleep while Pencil tells them her life story.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Even though he's a flame himself! Isn't that hilarious?
* **P****en**: [*sigh*] She's so rad.

[*Pen air-kisses her from above.*]

### **Squishy Bunch room**

**Scene**Distracted, Black Hole accidentally crashes into the window of his team's floor, breaking it.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Oh, not again.
* **P****en**: It's only a broken window.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Yeah, but now the world will have to hear you, singing in the shower.
* **P****en**: I don't sing in the shower!
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Please, in the last few weeks, everyone in the whole team knows, that you want to know what love is.

[*Pen rushes to his drawer and takes out a box of bow ties.*]

* **P****en**: Here they are. Hey, Black Hole! You don't mind if—
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Let me guess: I helped you find something in that box, that looks *awesome?*
* **P****en**: Yeah, we got this!
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Okay. [*looks in the box*] Bow ties, huh. What, no suit?
* **P****en**: By golly, I wish, but Pencil finds those annoying.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Has she told you that lately? I mean...
* **P****en**: Black Hole, I haven't talked to her since '69.

[*Beat, as Pen giggles quietly.*]

* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: What?
* **P****en**: I said *69*.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Terrific. /s I suppose next you'll laugh at the number *11*.
* **P****en**: You mustn't joke about those things, Black Hole! [*looks in the box*] Ha-hoo, I found it!

[*Pen pulls out a very ugly-looking bow tie in the colours of Pencil.*]

* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: What the Hawking is that?
* **P****en**: Nice, eh? Pencil made it for me herself. She called it something to remember her by, as a matter of fact.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: I'm certainly not going to forget that. It looks like something a baby pencil spat out.
* **P****en**: Hey, that's mean! It's special and, like all bow ties, really cool. [*looks at it, almost giving it a second thought*] She's going to think I look amazing! Oh, come on, brother!

[**Pen** *runs down the stairs excitedly. Black Hole looks at the camera.*]

* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Imagine what he was like, when they were together.

### **Hotel lobby**

**Scene****Pen** slides down the railing and lands on his feet.
* **P****en**: Whoooo!

[*He looks outside at the crowd gathered around Two and Pencil. Then he looks in the mirror: he ties his bowtie around his barrel and puts on his golden boots from today's Cake at Stake. Enter* **Black Hole**.]

* **P****en**: Hey, Black Hole! Do you think you can—
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Let me guess: be a third wheel between you and what's-her-name?
* **P****en**: Yes, can you do that? I promise I'm not using you; heck, when Penc and I are finally together, I'll do anything you want!
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Well, sure, as long as you're not using me. /s

### **Outside the hotel**

**Scene****Black Hole** goes outside, thus replaying the end scene from the last episode.
* **P****e****nci****l**: When have I ever interacted with Black Hole?
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: When we saw you in Brazil over a year ago.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Hello, um, Pencil. Nice to see you here.
* **P****e****nci****l**: I'm a contestant now.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Nice. [*calling out into the lobby*] I think she's ready.

[*Enter* **Pen** *in his tie. His eyes grow wide with love as he sees Pencil sitting on the chair with a continued non-expression.*]

* **P****en**: P- Pencil?

[*The intro plays.*]

## Post-intro

[*Pencil looks at Pen without an expression on her face, as though she were in a trance.*]

* **Li****y**: Pencil? Hello? [*waving her hand in front of her*]
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: She's not responsive.
* **P****i****n**: Do we shake her until she gets back to normal?
* **Golf Ball**: I hope that's not parenting advice, Pin.
* **P****i****n**: No, GB! I was talking about that drawing toy, the one my daughter can't get her hands off.
* **Baske****t****ball**: Oh yeah, the one with the knobs! Grassy used to *love*—

[*All of a sudden, Pencil lets out a horrific, demonic-like shriek. The contestants step back in fear*—**Bok** *runs up to her room.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: [*horrifically, demonically shrieking*] ***AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!***
* **P****en**: Aww, she's singing to me! [*Aside, to Black Hole.*] When we were in the theatre together, she had the most wonderful singing voice I'd ever heard. Mud-on-a, who? [*giggles*]
* **P****e****nci****l**: ***AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!***
* **T****w****o**: Jeez Louise, Pencil, I knew you weren't a paragon of holiness, but I never—

[*Pencil screams at Two. Without taking a breath, she gets out of her chair.*]

* **Li****y**: Pencil, what are you doing?
* **P****e****nci****l**: ***AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!*** Ah!

[*Pencil stops screaming. She then runs over to Pen and grabs his hand.*]

* **P****en**: You still got it! Er... Pencil?

[*Pencil picks Pen up and sets him down next to her. Then she starts to dig a big hole in the ground. When she's finished, she picks Pen up again, throws him into the hole and covers him up to his head with earth.*]

* **Li****y**: [*realizing*] Oohhhhh...
* **P****en**: [*in the ground*] Whoa, someone's frisky today, eh... Penc?

[**Pencil** *stomps away from the crowd and goes into the hotel.*]

### **Hotel restaurant**

**Scene**The FEXITers are watching the outside scene on TV with amazement—Match, in particular, looks horrified. Enter **Pencil**, quickly searching throughout the room. Camera zoom in on Firey Jr., who is drinking a fire smoothie.
* **P****e****nci****l**: You, I need to borrow this.

[*Pencil chugs the drink and sets the empty cup next to Firey Jr.*]

* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Aww, man, that was the last one!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Make another!

[*Exit* **Pencil**, *in a rush.*]

* **St****a****py**: Are your break-ups ever that dramatic, Match?
* **Ma****tch**: Like, no... I've never seen Penc-penc act like this before!
* **8****-****Ball**: But she's killing it.
* **Ma****tch**: More like she's killing *him*.

### **Front of the hotel**

**Scene****Pencil** returns from the hotel and dashes over to Pen, who looks at her with great astonishment and fear.
* **P****en**: Wh- whatever you do next, baby, I can take it; I- I swear!
* **P****e****nci****l**: [*breathes fire at him*] Haaa.
* **P****en**: ***Aaaaaaaaaaah!***

[*Pen's upper half dissolves, having been burnt by Pencil's fire breath. A disembodied voice makes the announcement as* **Pencil** *proudly points at what she has done. She subsequently goes into the hotel restaurant.*]

* **?**: Dead.
* **Li****y**: That's where you're wrong, disembodied voice! He's not dead; he's a Death PACTer.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Death PACTers can die too, Liy.
* **Li****y**: Oh, chiz... [*Aloud.*] Okay, people, out of the way; nothing to see here.

[*Exeunt omnes (even* **Two***). Manent* **Black Hole**, **Liy** *and* **Remote** *as plaintive violin music begins to play.*]

* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Oh, he was so sweet, and abnormally kind.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: And totally stupid.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Remote, how could you be so insensitive? Our friend has *died*.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: I'm sorry. I'm not much of a fan of these sentimental moments.
* **Li****y**: Um... guys?

[**Pen's lower half** *uses his strength to free himself from the hole. When he comes out completely, he stands on his two feet and fist pumps the air.*]

* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: *Subhanallah*, you're alive.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Buddy.

[*Pen speaks out of the middle of his barrel.*]

* **Pen**: I *knew* it was the bow tie! [*finger-guns Black Hole*]
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Well, that's not creepy. /s
* **Li****y**: Hate to break it to you there, but you're not going to live that long.
* **Pen**: What d'ya mean?
* **Li****y**: I read a study on this in the EXIT: "How long can an idiot live without his head?" [*Beat.*] There's not much to do there; it was either that or listen to Stapy writing smut!
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: So when will he die?
* **Li****y**: [*looking at Clock in the background*] Riiiiiiight...

[*Pen's lower half loses balance and falls to the ground. An orchestral sting sounds, indicating that he is indeed dead.*]

* **Li****y**: Now.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Dear me. I think I've learnt something from this.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: What is it?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: This alliance now has an arch-enemy, who goes by the name of Pencil.

[*Black Hole indicates* **Pencil**, *who walks out of the hotel. For a split second, she looks at Black Hole before walking over to Two.*]

## Pre-contest

[**Pencil** *approaches* **Two**, *who has shed themselves of their coach's outfit.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Two...
* **Two**: What, I wasn't getting nekkid!
* **P****e****nci****l**: [*rolls her eyes*] Right.
* **Two**: But can you blame me? This country gets really hot in the winter.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Two, it's the dry season; we haven't got anything like winter here. And when can I start my first contest?
* **Two**: You can start right now.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Okay.

[*Silence as Two smiles at the camera.*]

* **Two**: But first, I must wait until everybody's here.
* **P****e****nci****l**: That will be downright impossible. I've just killed Pen.
* **Two**: That's nice. And you sound so nonchalant about it as well.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Aeh. Wait, did you just say "That's nice"?
* **Two**: Of course! It amuses me tremendously when I see you silly objects fight each other. That's one of the reasons why Five and I, I mean, the person to whom I no longer speak and I, we had that Scramble Squares thing for a challenge last episode. We wanted to simulate the Berlin Conference.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Ooo... kay.

[*Two stares at the camera.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: What are you looking at?

### **Back of the hotel**

**Scene****Bok** looks both ways before leaving the building. She walks out to the back of the hotel, where she quickly calls someone on one of the pay phones there.
* **B****o****k**: Please pick up... [*Pause.*] Hello, Gaty and/or Saw!

[*View of one of the rooms in the Filing Cabinet:* **Saw** *is having a very formal dinner with* **Gaty** *and a few others (including a few of the strangers from episode 31).*]

* **S****aw**: Hi, Bok! Listen, can you call me back later? We're having dinner.
* **B****o****k**: You're having dinner? Ooh, sorry to interrupt... Wait, it's only 5:00.
* **S****aw**: I mean...
* **B****o****k**: Oh, wait! You run on "Gaty time" over there; I've forgotten.
* **G****at****y**: Hey, Saw, is that Bok?
* **S****aw**: No, Gaty, it's Vuk; I somehow managed to resurrect a Yugoslav linguist. /s You can have the phone if you want!

[*Gaty laughs a bit as Saw hands her the phone.*]

* **G****at****y**: This is why I love her.
* **B****o****k**: Gaty, hi! Listen, something really awful has just happened on the set.
* **G****at****y**: Aw, really? I wish I were there.
* **B****o****k**: No, you don't. It's all this new girl Pencil's fault. She's a menace.
* **G****at****y**: Yeah, I know.
* **B****o****k**: You do?
* **G****at****y**: We have a TV in every room.
* **B****o****k**: Oh.
* **G****at****y**: So, why exactly have you called me?
* **B****o****k**: Because I don't know what to do! You have no idea how much pain Pencil has caused me over the years, not to mention the fact that she's just murdered someone we're supposed to believe is her boyfriend!
* **G****at****y**: Yeah, that was pretty harsh. I could have sent him off with less crudeness.

[*A blue-and-yellow hand creeps into the scene. Bok does not notice this.*]

* **B****o****k**: Gaty...
* **G****at****y**: I'm serious, Bok, with just a little lighter fluid—
* **B****o****k**: Gaty, I'm being serious!

[*The hand sends out waves that have the same awkwardly round shape as meatballs. The meatball waves strike Bok's leg while she is talking on the phone. Reversed wind chime sound effect.*]

* **G****at****y**: What?
* **B****o****k**: I said, I'm being allvarlig!

[*Bok looks up, confused at what she has just said.*]

* **G****at****y**: I'm sorry, what did you say?
* **B****o****k**: I'm... going to have to ringa you back.

[*Bok hangs up.*]

* **B****o****k**: [*nemini loquitur*] That was konstigt... Oh, what? Why am I talking like så här? Gosh, I need to speak to someone about this, and snart.

[*Bok looks at Two, who is still talking with Pencil in the distance.*]

* **B****o****k**: Come on, come on, Pencil; away with you like the evil little häxa you are.

[*Pencil walks away.*]

* **B****o****k**: Yes, slutigen! [*"Slutigen" means* finally.]

### **Outside**

**Scene****Two** stands alone, annoyed that no one is paying them any attention.
* **Two**: Let's see... the contest... run around ten laps! [*Beat.*] Twenty? [*Beat.*] 2,763?

[*Enter* **Bok**, *worried.*]

* **Two**: Oh! Hi, Bok!
* **B****o****k**: Hello, Två.
* **Two**: Interesting way to say my name there.
* **B****o****k**: Yeah, I think I've fångat something.
* **Two**: What?
* **B****o****k**: I have caught någonting!
* **Two**: Have you a cold or some form of sensory aphasia? I can only understand about two times ten percent of what you're saying.
* **B****o****k**: Ja, that's it! I've just developed a condition where, for some reason, in every sentence I say one word in svenska.
* **Two**: *Insvenska*? Is that a sort of musical notation? Oh, never mind that. It's time for me to announce the contest.
* **B****o****k**: But this is viktigt! I don't know how to stoppa myself! Please, for today's contest, can you make us find the cause of this märkliga condition? I know there's a lot of smart people out here, so maybe they can help find this before it's too late and I'm reduced to saying every word I ever utter in svenska, icke för att det är något fel med det!
* **Two**: Okay, okay, okay!
* **B****o****k**: Åh, tack så mycket, Två! [*gasps*] Jag är norsk, detta borde icke ske för mig! [*Subtitles: "I'm Norwegian, this shouldn't be happening to me!"*]
* **Two**: I'll let everybody know.

[*Fade to all the remaining contestants standing around Two and Bok, who looks nervous again.*]

* **Two**: Contestants! Today's contest is... Wait, is this really all of you?
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: We are the final twelve.
* **Two**: Temporarily, but don't expect me to recover your friends anytime soon. There is something serious going on, and I think it imperative that you all should know it.
* **Baske****t****ball**: What is it?
* **Two**: One of you object contestants has been infected.

[*All gasp.*]

* **Two**: It's Bok. She had caught a temporary malfunction in which every word she spoke was in English.
* **C****l****o****c****k**: You are not making sense, Two; everyone here speaks English.
* **Sn****owba****ll**: ***ON NEGO!***
* **Two**: You didn't let me finish, well, you didn't let me finish indeed! It used to be that Bok spoke English about two times two times two times ten percent of the time, but now she can apparently only speak *Insvenska*!

[*Liy gasps.*]

* **Two**: It is up to you contestants to find out what it is, and hopefully put a stop to it!
* **B****o****k**: Jag vill kommunicera med er alla igen!
* **Li****y**: She wants to communicate with us again.
* **B****o****k**: Ja, ja, du förstår mig!
* **Two**: The team or individual team member that figures out the answers to these crucial questions wins, and the opposing team is up for elimination! Any questions?
* **Golf Ball**: Hmm. I don't have any questions presently. Tennis Ball?
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: Yes, regarding this Insvenska thing: is it contagious?
* **Golf Ball**: I had the same question in my mind.
* **Two**: I don't know. But there's one thing I do know.

[*Two presses a button to trap Bok in her own little dome.*]

* **Two**: Bok must be *quarantined!*
* **Golf Ball**: That's better.
* **B****o****k**: Vadå?
* **Golf Ball**: It is for your own good.
* **Two**: Now that that's taken care of...
* **B****o****k**: Så du kommer icke att ta vara på mig här inne? [*Subtitles: "So you're not going to take care of me in here?"*]
* **Two**: We can finally start the thirty-fifth contest in the battle for... *The Power of TwoooooooOOOOOO—*

[*Two looks up to see that all the other contestants are gone.*]

* **B****o****k**: Gå! [*Subtitles: "Go!"*]

[*Two looks at Bok and shakes their head.*]

## The contest

### **Front of the hotel (Liy and Pencil)**

**Scene**Naturally, the contest scenes begin with the two people who couldn't be bothered to actually do it: the two former EXITers, **Liy** and **Pencil**.
* **P****e****nci****l**: We meet again, Liy.
* **Li****y**: What are you talking about? I was in the same room as you for ages!
* **P****e****nci****l**: For three years, yes, but... that's nothing, ***NOTHING***, compared to what I went through in the ten years after that.
* **Li****y**: What are you talking about?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Come inside, I have to show you something. Or some *things*.

[**Pencil** *leads* **Liy** *into the lobby.*]

* **Li****y**: Don't tell me you've destroyed Pen's stuff too. [*Beat.*] Have you?
* **P****e****nci****l**: God, I wish. But no. Liy, I've got to be honest and tell you I didn't come here alone.
* **Li****y**: You've brought visitors.
* **P****e****nci****l**: No, Liy, I was followed by a gang of teenaged soldiers and greasers, 'cause that seems to be all the rage this decade. /s I came with the FEXITers!
* **Li****y**: *FEXITers*?
* **P****e****nci****l**: *Former EXITers*. Have a look!

### **Hotel restaurant**

**Scene****Liy** and **Pencil** go into the hotel restaurant, where they are cheered on by the other FEXITers (minus Bracelety and 8-Ball).
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, Pencil, you're, like, back!

[*Embrace.*]

* **St****a****py**: It's been so long, but I'm so happy to be in the same room as you again.
* **R****o****b****oty**: Pencil! Pencil! Pencil!
* **David**: Aww, seriously?
* **Li****y**: Guys, I know I haven't seen you in, like, a decade, but I'm not invisible.
* **[** **FEXITers** · **St****a****py** **]**: [*gasp*] **[** ***LIY!*** · The hunk is back. **]**

[*They all get up and hug her.*]

* **Li****y**: Oh, I missed you. But where are the rest of you rejects? Last time I checked, I was stuck in Four's bosom with nine people.
* **St****a****py**: We have just lost two of our FEXITer companions, Liy.
* **Ma****tch**: Bracelety went to the, like, Filing Cabinet, and so did 8-Ball.
* **Li****y**: I can understand that. Obviously, Bracelety wants to gawk at Ice Cube and 8-Ball wants to see his wife again. But... [*searching through the group*] what about Dora?

[*Awkward silence.*]

* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: By any chance, are you talking about the anime?
* **Li****y**: No, you fool, I'm talking about Dora the contestant.
* **St****a****py**: Oh, she left us in Brazil.
* **David**: Aww, seriously?
* **Li****y**: [*who can understand David*] She's in a happily married relationship with a white-tufted marmoset. Nice.
* **Ma****tch**: And speaking of, like, relationships... You killed my brother, Pencil! How could you?!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Oh. Right. Sorreh.
* **Ma****tch**: Eh, it's fine.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: That was really badass of you.
* **P****e****nci****l**: And he can come back to life, which means I'll have to— [*She starts shouting to the kitchen window.*] *Apple juice, please, Mr. Barkeep!*
* **Ma****tch**: We don't have a, like, barkeep.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Then be one.

### **Outside**

**Scene**The Namely Ties are a bit fragmented: **Basketball**, **Tennis Ball** and **Golf Ball** are more interested in researching **Snowball** than doing the contest, which is what **Clock** and **Winner** are doing.
#### Namely Ties

* **Winner**: Um... guys? Don't you want to work on the contest with us?
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: We'd really like to, Winner, but...
* **Golf Ball**: We believe this research mission to be much more important.
* **Winner**: Getting Snowball to speak again?
* **Golf Ball**: Getting him to speak *English* again. That way he can take off his bird's nest of a costume and make Basketball feel less uncomfortable.
* **Baske****t****ball**: I don't feel uncomfortable around Snowb—*gosh, why is he still wearing that?*
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Suit yourselves, but Winner and I will be finding a way to protect ourselves from the Insvenska condition out there.
* **Golf Ball**: You go do that.
* **Baske****t****ball**: We'll be busy researching.

[*Exeunt* **Tennis Ball**, **Golf Ball** *and* **Basketball**.]

* **Winner**: Clock.
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Yes?
* **Winner**: Do you think the balls' love of research interferes with the contest?
* **C****l****o****c****k**: If it is, then it doesn't matter; I've come prepared. I have the perfect solution.

[*Clock retrieves one of X's old baskets (from the early episodes of BFB) from what TV Tropes calls the "Hammerspace", causing Winner to gasp.*]

* **Winner**: Whoa, it's a... it's a...
* **C****l****o****c****k**: It's a Loser basket!
* **Winner**: I haven't seen anything like that for a very long time.
* **C****l****o****c****k**: I don't actually know exactly where I got this from. But we can all hide under here.
* **Winner**: What, all of us? Would that be sensible?
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Sure. After all, it's much bigger on the inside.

[**Clock** *puts the basket over himself and* **Winner**, *as well as* **Tennis Ball**, **Golf Ball** *and* **Basketball**.]

#### Liy and Pencil

[*Enter* **Liy** *and* **Pencil** *from the hotel.*]

* **Li****y**: That was fun.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Yeah, I'd love to go back to the restaurant and just talk to everyone again.
* **Li****y**: But we have to do the contest because Two said so.
* **[** **Li****y** · **P****e****nci****l** **]**: *Uuugggggggh.*
* **Li****y**: Nice to see we're on the same wavelength about everything, you know, the FEXITers, the lack of a bartender in the restaurant, maybe even the whole Pen situation.

[*Pencil puts her hand on the back of her head.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Ohhhhh, yeah... heheh, I think I'm starting to regret that.
* **Li****y**: Seriously?
* **P****e****nci****l**: I am!
* **Li****y**: But you did exactly what you told me you were going to do when you saw him again the last time I saw you when we were in the EXIT.

[*Liy counts on her fingers as Pencil looks confused at her syntax.*]

* **Li****y**: Let's see: You dug a hole in the ground, stuck him in there and set his top half on fire. You really deliver what you promise, Pencil, and that's not something I'd regret.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Sure, but then I saw Match's face when I told her I slaughtered her brother in the worst way possible. Mind you, the girl hides her feelings well, but I *know* she was gutted. What I did was a tiny bit mean.
* **Li****y**: A tiny bit?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Okay, slightly mean.
* **Li****y**: Why'd you do it anyway?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Well... I don't know. I guess something in me snapped when I saw him standing next to you wearing that tie, that very special tie I made for him. I mean, you two slept together for frick's sake!
* **Li****y**: Are you saying this whole thing happened because of me? Pencil, we are much more liberated than that. In fact, we agreed that we wouldn't pit ourselves against each other because of a man.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Liy, Dora's a man. We are objects.
* **Li****y**: Whatever.
* **P****e****nci****l**: But no. When I saw Pen again after all those years, I just had a vision.
* **Li****y**: A vision?
* **P****e****nci****l**: I pictured him, y'know, snogging you and Remote and Tree and all those irrelevants whilst wearing the tie that I made especially for him round his neck.
* **Li****y**: Pencil, I've never seen that tie before. We've always watched bowling in the buff. But don't worry, he's gone now.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Yes, he's gone with a capital *G*.

[*Pencil and Liy laugh quietly.*]

* **Li****y**: Listen, Pencil, I'd better get back to my team now. They might need my knowledge for the contest.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Right, 'cause you speak Isvenska.
* **Li****y**: It is pronounced *Swedish*.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Whatever. Bye, Liy.
* **Li****y**: Laters.

[**Liy** *walks off as Pencil lets out a long sigh as she considers her life choices. The basket with Namely Ties under it begins to move awkwardly across the field.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Is that basket... in motion?
* **Golf Ball**: No, but the people under it are.
* **Baske****t****ball**: Can you, um... get under here with us, Pencil?
* **P****e****nci****l**: No! I want to go back to the restaurant.
* **Golf Ball**: Too bad! You have to join us! Tennis Ball, if you will...
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: Fine.

[*The sucking sound of a vacuum cleaner can be heard, sending Pencil into the basket.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Ah!

### **Under the basket (Namely Ties)**

**Scene****Pencil** finds herself under the basket with the rest of the Namely Ties.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Tell me the meaning of this... Golf Ball? I knew this was your doing; ten years later and I still recognize your voice as that of a bossy bot.
* **Golf Ball**: Well, that's a fine way to greet your former team leader. /s [*Beat.*] Even though BFDIA was twenty years ago...
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: Pencil, I can tell you that Golf Ball has very much reformed.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Is that why you want me here? To announce useless chiz like that? I'd much rather be with the other FEXITers right now, so if you please—
* **Golf Ball**: No. We have given you a task that might interest you, and as a new contestant, you have a duty to compete with the rest of us. Isn't that right, Clock?
* **C****l****o****c****k**: According to the *TPOT Game Rules—*
* **Golf Ball**: [*interrupting him*] That means there's no time for you to loiter around in an empty restaurant, no matter how emotionally conflicted you are at the moment.
* **P****e****nci****l**: How'd you know I was emotionally conflicted? And what do you want me to do with you lot?
* **Golf Ball**: How would *you*... like to talk to Snowball?
* **P****e****nci****l**: No, he's gross.
* **Baske****t****ball**: *Thank you!*

[*Beat, as everyone looks at Basketball.*]

* **Golf Ball**: We really need someone who has experience with Romance languages to speak with him, for he needs to speak English!
* **P****e****nci****l**: What? This is BFDI; there ain't no language requirement.
* **Winner**: [*Aside, to Clock.*] Called it.
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: But Pencil, we know that you speak Portuguese. It is a language derived from Latin, with which Snowball can only communicate in a mangled version.
* **P****e****nci****l**: And you want me to use my Portuguese skills to talk to Snowball, who speaks Latin?
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: A mangled version of it!
* **Golf Ball**: Yes, because your proficiency in the language makes it more likely for Snowball to return to normal and more likely (based our our hypotheses) for him to lose his cardinal's outfit.
* **Baske****t****ball**: I speak Spanish, but I'm not the one to talk to him.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Why not?

[*Basketball leans in so as not to be heard.*]

* **Baske****t****ball**: 'Cause it's embarrassing. He's dressed as a high-ranking member of the clergy in my religion, and yet he's *Snowball*, king of the murderers and all that is horrible! How does that make any sense? It doesn't, it just doesn't, I tell you!
* **Golf Ball**: Okay, Basketball. Now, Pencil, just get out there. Using various resources such as bilingual Latin–English dictionaries from Two's library, Tennis Ball has developed a special script that you will recite to Snowball so that he talks to you. We will be watching from under this basket, so we're doubly safe from both Snowball's potential wrath and the Isvenska condition.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Swedish.
* **Golf Ball**: Whatever. Just do as you're told!

### **Outside**

**Scene**As if in a comedy, a kicking sound can be heard as **Pencil** is sent out of the Winner basket to speak to **Snowball**, who is still standing with a stately, *cardinalesque* demeanour.
#### Namely Ties

* **P****e****nci****l**: And was there any consent in this experiment? I think not.

[*Pencil stops in front of Snowball, who notices her.*]

* **Sn****owba****ll**: ***QUID?***
* **P****e****nci****l**: [*turns around to see the balls encouraging her*] *Olá.*
* **Sn****owba****ll**: ***MAIMUM CE' FRET APREM TRIOR' INFERTECI!***

[*Pencil turns around, confused.*]

* **Golf Ball**: [*whispering loudly*] *Just read what we wrote!*
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: It was mostly my doing.
* **Golf Ball**: Shh. This is a radical idea that could possibly work!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Eh-em. [*looks down at the paper and reads from it in a Portuguese accent*] "Valse. Lolcoti quevum colo."

[*Snowball gasps. Tennis Ball, Golf Ball and Basketball look at one another.*]

* **Sn****owba****ll**: Pencil?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Okay, why does everyone act so surprised I exist?
* **Sn****owba****ll**: 'Tis thou!

[*To the surprise of everyone, Snowball takes off his cardinal clothes.*]

* **Baske****t****ball**: No... way.

[*Basketball kicks the basket up and steps out. Tennis Ball, Golf Ball and Winner follow, while Clock stays in.*]

* **Baske****t****ball**: You spoke!
* **Snowball**: Yea, spake I!
* **P****e****nci****l**: This is so weird, but you lot got what you wanted so I'm out of here.
* **Baske****t****ball**: And I'd better mail these to the Goikyan Vatican.

[*Pencil is about to walk away.*]

* **Snowball**: But wait thou, O Pencil!
* **P****e****nci****l**: What?
* **Snowball**: Thou art forgiven for shedding the ink of mine ere compeer. God bless thee.

[*Golf Ball's eyes get big at this religious greeting. She is starting to become aware that Snowball has reformed.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Okay.

[*Exit* **Pencil**.]

* **Snowball**: May I go to the privy to make water? [*Subtitles: "Can I pee?"*]
* **Golf Ball**: Yes, you may! Go ahead, Snowball!

[*Exit* **Snowball**.]

* **Baske****t****ball**: Wow, I guess I was right all along. Snowball does have a bit of good in him after all.
* **Golf Ball**: You never told us you believed in him.
* **Baske****t****ball**: I like to retcon. /j

[*All laugh.*]

* **Baske****t****ball**: Hey, how'd you know what Snowball was just saying? It sounded like old-timey gibberish to me.
* **Golf Ball**: Because I am old.

[*All laugh, even Golf Ball. As this happens, the blue-and-yellow hand emits meatball waves at Winner's leg (to the sound of a reverse wind chime), but they don't notice.*]

* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: No, one of GB's PhD's is in Shaking-the-spearian English.
* **Golf Ball**: Alright, everyone, let us all prepare for the next contest.
* **Baske****t****ball**: Sounds as good an idea as ever!
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: Are you coming, Winner?
* **Winner**: Yeah, in a minute; I just behöver to see what Clock has to say.
* **Golf Ball**: Okay, but don't take too— [*slowly turns her head towards Winner*] What did you just say?
* **Winner**: I need to see if Clock wanted to join us for the förberedelse. [*Beat, as they realize.*] Oh, skit.
* **Golf Ball**: [*making sick-faking noises as in BFDIA 5a*] Khaa. Ò. À.

#### The Squishy Bunch

[*Because she has been separated from Pencil,* **Liy** *joins the rest of her living, non-isolated team members:* **Black Hole**, **Pin** *and* **Remote**. **Bok** *stands in the background, still trapped.*]

* **Li****y**: Hey, everyone.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Oh, there you are, Liy.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Did you manage to calm down Pencil?
* **Li****y**: Why should I? She's totally fine.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: She certainly wasn't when she was causing death.
* **Li****y**: Oh, there's that. Murder's so not cool.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Unfortunately, we don't have time to talk about it now, because you've been missing for a while and we needed you.
* **Li****y**: Sorry. But I came back, and that's all that matters, isn't it?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Sure.

[*Liy sits down with the others.*]

* **Li****y**: I figured you guys would eventually call for me.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Because you are fluent in Insvenska.
* **Li****y**: Swedish.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Whatever. [*Beat.*] No, wait, not *whatever*. That actually makes more sense. I don't even have a language called *Insvenska* in my database.
* **P****i****n**: That's good to know.

[*Enter* **Clock**, *panicked.*]

* **C****l****o****c****k**: Guys!
* **P****i****n**: Hi, Clock.
* **Li****y**: What up, trucemate?
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Winner's been infected!
* **P****i****n**: What happened?
* **C****l****o****c****k**: I don't know, but now they can only speak Swedish!

[*View of the basket with the other members of Namely Ties (without Snowball) surrounding it.*]

* **Winner**: [*not seen*] Det är inte särskilt bekvämt här under! [*Subtitles: "It's not very comfortable under here!"*]

[*Back to scene.*]

* **Li****y**: Oh, wow, that's interesting. [*Beat.*] I mean, not for you, but... do you know how all this started?
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Well, we were all laughing, and I saw this hand creeping out from under the bushes. It made this strange noise that sounded like this... [*imitating the reserve wind chime sound*] *ngheeeeyooomp.*
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Nice impression.
* **Li****y**: Which bush?
* **P****i****n**: Can you show us?
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Sure, it's... [*Pause.*] Hold on a second, I'm not going to let my team lose. You've all got a home advantage, seeing as one of your team members can already speak Swedish.
* **Li****y**: And?
* **C****l****o****c****k**: I regret coming here. Please ignore everything I said about there being a hand in the bush.
* **Li****y**: Show us where it is, Clock.
* **C****l****o****c****k**: No.
* **Li****y**: *Clock!*
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Fine. But only because we're in a truce.
* **P****i****n**: And because we're your best friends!
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Yes. Yes, you are.
* **Li****y**: [*exasperated*] Now that wasn't so hard.

### **Back of the hotel**

**Scene**Clock leads The Squishy Bunch to where he thinks they went.
* **Li****y**: So why are you taking us to the back of the hotel?
* **C****l****o****c****k**: This is where I think it went.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Where what went?
* **C****l****o****c****k**: The hand. In fact... [*squints at the third bush on his right*] I think it's right behind that one. Be quiet, everyone.

[*The five of them sneak over to the bush.*]

* **P****i****n**: So what do we do now?
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Liy, you communicate with the hand or whoever owns it.
* **Li****y**: What? But I never speak my language on this show, ever! Why do I have to do it at all?
* **C****l****o****c****k**: I could well imagine that whomever we're dealing with here doesn't understand English.
* **Li****y**: What? That's ridiculous! Where I come from, nearly everyone under thirty knows a bit of English.
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Just do it, huh?

[*Clock immediately shuts up as the hand scurries off. It looks like its owner is travelling underground.*]

* **P****i****n**: *After iiiiiit!*
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Chase it like it's Leafy in the first episode of BFDIA. [*Pin stops.*] No offence.

[*Liy grabs the hand from the ground.*]

* **Li****y**: I got it! [*pointing at the colours*] As if it couldn't be more obvious where it comes from.

[*The owner of the hand begins to speak from underground.*]

* **Voice**: Skona mej, snälla-la! [*Subtitles: "Spare me, please!"*]
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Liy, what are you doing? You might get infected.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: And die.
* **Li****y**: No, I won't, for I, Liy, am a native speaker of *Swedish!*
* **Voice**: Åh, låt mej bara försvenska nån annan från den här serien! [*Subtitles: "Oh, just let me Swedify someone else on this show!"*]
* **Li****y**: No way. Du har orsakat tillräckligt med problem! [*Subtitles: "You've caused enough trouble already."*]
* **Voice**: Gör det, annars anmäler jag dej. [*Subtitles: "Do it, or I report you."*]
* **Li****y**: Report me? [*Aside.*] What are they saying?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: I don't know; I can't understand a thing.
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Maybe they're going to reveal your real name to Two.

[*Liy audibly cringes.*]

* **Li****y**: Fooooooo... [*Aloud.*] Okay, Black Hole, could you please fly over here?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Oh, a *please* for once, that's nice. [*flies over to where Liy is standing*]
* **Li****y**: Okay, mystiska främling: Försvenska detta! [*Subtitles: "Okay, mysterious stranger: Swedify this!"*]

[*The owner of the mysterious* **voice** *is quickly picked up and sucked into Black Hole. Because it happens so quickly, we don't see who it is... at least in this episode.*]

* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Goodness me, that tastes awful.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Does this count as a death, Black Hole?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Let us hope it was just a brand of toy, that is infamous for making hollow threats.
* **Li****y**: We've prevented death once more, and we have won the challenge!
* **Rest of the team**: Yay!
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Oh, joy. /s

## Post-contest

* **Two**: And it looks like this contest is over! Good job, Exix; your team, The Squishy Bunch, are safe, and Namely Ties are up for elimination!
* **C****l****o****c****k**: What? But I helped them!
* **Two**: According to the *TPOT Game Rules*... you're still up for elimination!
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Ò!
* **Two**: Oh, how I love being right. In fact... it makes me want to... it makes me want to...
* **P****i****n**: *Ruuuuuuuuuuun!*

[*Sternuit quattuor cylindros receptatorum.*]

* **P****i****n**: Oh, never mind, it's just the dead contestants. One of them's my husband.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: And one of them is Pen.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Our favourite himbo.

[*Enter* **Winner**.]

* **Winner**: Är en av dem där Taggy? [*Subtitles: "Is one of them there Taggy?"*]
* **Li****y**: Wait, what about that last one?

[*Two nervously smiles at the camera. The Insvenska condition's effects are not over yet.*]

### **Voting screen**

**Scene****Two** stands in front of a screen that shows the people up for voting.
* **Two**: Vote in the comments using the letter and square brackets for who you don't want to be eliminated! Vote for who you want to stay! The person with the fewest votes will leave the show!

[*Roll credits, in Swedish.*]

## Stinger

### **Hotel restaurant**

**Scene**The FEXITers sit in the restaurant and follow the outside events on the TV screen. During the conversation, they see **Pen** break out of his recovery cylinder first: he goes up to his room, upset from earlier. **Coiny** breaks out next: he hugs Pin and they go inside as well. **Price Tag** is the third to break out: they fall asleep on the ground.
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, like, I'm bored.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: I'm not! I just learned how to make my own fire smoothie.

[*Firey Jr. bends over as if he's about to take a dump into his cup.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Gross.

[**Roboty** *gets up and walks over to the Filing Cabinet.*]

* **Ma****tch**: [*looking into the lobby*] Omg, Roboty, where are you going?
* **R****o****b****oty**: To the Filing Cabinet!
* **Ma****tch**: What, like, why?

[*Roboty uses his powers to open the door to the portal.*]

* **R****o****b****oty**: I have friends there.
* **Ma****tch**: Like, you don't have any friends!
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Match!
* **Ma****tch**: Besides, like, us.
* **R****o****b****oty**: Then I'll make some.

[**Roboty** *falls through the portal. Silence on the FEXITers' part.*]

* **Ma****tch**: New rule: Nobody goes into, like, the Filing Cabinet.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Agreed.
* **David**: Aww, seriously?
* **St****a****py**: Hmm...

[*Stapy gets up and hops his way to the hotel lobby.*]

* **St****a****py**: I'll get back to you on how it goes, Match.
* **Ma****tch**: [*stopping him by holding out her hand*] Oh no, you won't.

[*Stapy falls mid-hop.*]

* **St****a****py**: Rats!
* **Ma****tch**: See, what Match wants, Match is gonna *get*.
* **St****a****py**: That line is fifteen years old!
* **Ma****tch**: Well, I, like, never.

[*Fade to black as this episode reaches...*]

**THE END**
## Deleted scenes

**Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: [*to a small boy*] *Do... you... speak... American?*
**Stap****y-F****exit**: Firey Jr., this *is* America.
**8****-****Ball**: South America.
**Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Oh. Sorry, Mom.
**Stap****y-F****exit**: No, you'd better say sorry to that small kid who thinks you just cursed at him.
**Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Uggh, that's fine with me.

* BFDI gets political once again: Someone was going to make a much less subtle remark about the *ditadura militar*, but I decided it was out of place: This episode came out in April 1985, only two months after that form of government ended.
* "Mestre" was originally going to be called "Announcer" because that's what he is. Of course, I couldn't keep it that way because there's already an announcer.
* Car-Mon Miranda was originally called "Car-Man" Miranda.
* BFDI gets political *again* again. After Basketball asks if what Tennis Ball said was racist to coins:

**Golf Ball**: We need to work on reforming the educational system.
**T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: Yeah, maybe. Thanks, Rag In.
**Golf Ball**: Rag In has nothing to do with it, I think.

* I was trying to find a concrete number for how quickly the FEXITers were travelling from Brazil to Kenya. I soon found out that this was impossible, simply due to things like the Panama Canal, the vast, roadless wilderness of Central Asia and the Soviet Union. (Firey Jr. is a U.S. citizen and therefore couldn't travel in that direction.)
* As Liy had her doubts about Pencil on the set:

**Li****y**: Yep, the self-proclaimed Cheekiness Queen of '71. I'm almost certain that she has absolutely no idea what to do after going through that vent; she just didn't listen to me!

* I remember reading the word "blow-up doll" in some blog. At first, I thought it was just some inflatable balloon in the shape of a person (like balloon Squidward in one of the newer SpongeBob episodes), but it turns out that's not the case... They're erotic as frick. Thus, this dialogue had to be deleted, because its implications are just really NSF-BFDI:

**R****e****m****ot****e**: How do you know that's not just a Pencil blow-up doll?
**P****en**: Oh, I'd know what that would look like, and I must say, that's not what it is.
**B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: You don't mean to tell us, that you had a blow-up doll of Pencil, do you?
**P****en**: What? No, that'd be creepy! It was Eraser who had one, as a matter of fact.
**Li****y**: [*confused*] What?
**P****en**: See, back in the '60s, my brother knew a company that specialized in making balloons in the shape of people, and he got me one for my birthday. Of course, I had to throw it away by sending it to some country I'd never heard of, because all of this happened *while* Pencil was visiting our country, but...
**B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Okay, okay, wa-wa-wa-wa-wait. It seems that the more I hear about your brother, the more scared I get.

* The chase to find the cause of the Insvenska condition was going to be longer, but the episode ended up being very long anyway. That's why the part where Liy discovers the source is so rushed.
* Snowball was going to save the day by speaking to [*spoiler*] in Swedish himself, but Snowball only knows Old Norse, or rather, a more ancient version of it. Also, he was the MVP for the last contest, whereas Liy hasn't won that title by herself at all.
* I wanted the Swedish parts to take up more of the episode, but this will have to do. I put a lot of languages into this show as it is!
* Spoilers for the next episode: Five was going to reunite with Two in this episode. I moved it to the next one.

## Notes

1. ↑ In Britain, of course.
2. ↑ That last title was dropped for obvious reasons.
3. ↑ To be fair, I joked about that number in an older episode... You know this is the same guy who said "Pen Island, no spaces, all caps".
4. ↑ Depending on the direction the sound editor takes with it—were this edited in the first place— this scene can either be fully comedic (with happy music and Pencil's screaming in Autotune) or absolutely terrifying (with creepy music and a high-contrast, darkened background).
5. ↑ It's an implied ability of hers.
6. ↑ Ick, a reference. Fortunately, that word has been used for centuries!
7. ↑ According to my physical source (*The New College Latin and English Dictionary*), FRATER (better written as FRATREM) is a euphemistic term for a gay lover (a sense that Wiktionary does not mention). AMANS (better written as AMANTEM) would be more gender-neutral, but considering how this is the 1980s, the former term seemed more appropriate, especially out of Snowball's mouth. Had I gone with the section option, he would have said "Maimum ce' et atanmem ipror' tinercefi!".

**Fake TPOT** [V]