255: Have You Ever Played, Uh, Hopscotch?

## Summary

At the airship tower, the group discover some sooty graffiti of a bird in flight, and then head off deeper into Highground. In the temple district they find the House of Zol Berdia and encounter a group of demonstrators who believe the Grand Tabernacle of Bahamut are trying to cover up the existence of the orange dragon, which had been sighted at Beartoggle Lake. Will is strangely awestruck by the existence of the Zol Berdia temple, and ventures inside to discover a depiction of the god that has the likeness of Eldon.

## Synopsis

Sheemie asks what Raphina had found on the charred remains of the airship tower and they're shown the symbol of a bird in flight, smudged in soot. Batthwack has a look around, establishing that the airship tower was burnt down fairly recently. Gwen suggests that the bird mark must have been left by the Sooty Gang, but Will wonders if ibish can really be described as birds.

Raphina examines the bird symbol. It's about 5 inches between the tips of its wings, but impossible to tell what type of bird it is. Will considers the marking. It's not something he ever had his "business associates" do in Tivoli, but feels that the gang probably have something to prove, suggesting that the gang are probably marking their territory or making a show of strength. He's sure someone is in charge and pulling the strings. Sheemie asks what the point of destroying the airship tower is, if it's not random. Will strokes his chin. He's not sure, but has a few theories, for example, are they trying to limit travel or cause disruption so they can attempt a coup, or maybe they're in the pay of a rival city. Sheemie recalls the rival university in Carnivar and asks if there's a university in Gully's End, which is the neighbouring region's capital. Batthwack says he never went to university there, so he's not actually sure.

Raphina offers a peculiar theory involving birds nesting in street lamps, which the Sooty Gang are trying to help. Will is shocked to hear that this is even a thing and makes a mental note to check the street lamps when he's back in Tivoli. Gwen says that whatever their motivation, the Sooty Gang need to be dealt; street lamps is one thing, but destruction on this level is really serious. She suggests they could investigate the east end of Highground, which the dean told them was a little seedier. Will moans. He just wants to enjoy himself, maybe go to a salon, but he's hanging out with this group who insist on solving the world's problems. Gwen feels bad and insists there's time for salons too; the Sooty Gang don't have to be their main concern right now.

Time is getting on though, so they decide to head off in the direction of the Pineapple War Memorial Garden, where they're due to meet with Thalia, and see what they find along the way. Raphina leads the way. Once they leave the airship tower behind and get back into the built up part of Highground, they notice a lot of stores but do their best to not get distracted by them and continue onwards. Somewhere ahead of them, the party becomes aware of some kind of hubbub: the sound of chanting. Raphina recognises the area this is coming from as the temple district and Gwen suggests they check it out.

The group make their way towards the chanting and arrive at fairly small square, surrounded by temples to various gods and deities. Dominating these is a structure that is unfamiliar to Raphina: a big, gaudy, flashy, ostentatious building, a gleaming silver edifice in the centre of the largest side of the square. In the dusky light, lights that gleam with a magical red glow stand out above it, reading *"House of Zol Berdia"*. Nothing else in the square looks quite like this. Raphina laughs and then begins to sob, saying *"It's just disgusting! It's so gross!"* Will is feeling somewhat confused; he's simultaneously offended by Raphina's reaction, but also has to admit that it is gross.

The chanting sound is coming from a crowd of around thirty people who are demonstrating in the centre of the square, their focus being somewhat to the left of the House of Zol Berdia. They're repeated chant is *"The dragon is real! The dragon is real!"* Will recalls the flyer they picked up in the Scarlet Market.

Batthwack joins in with the chanting while Gwen talks to one of the demonstrators. She's told that the flyers are being spread around by the Grand Tabernacle of Bahamut. *"They're spreading lies. They're in cahoots with the dragon"* says the demonstrator. They say that they've never seen the dragon themselves, but they've heard it's bright orange and now living in the lake. *"Someone saw it dive into the lake late at night. Someone was out fishing late and they saw it plunge down into the depths of Beartoggle Lake"* they say. They're very afraid of what the dragon might do and Gwen points out that not all dragons are bad, but had to admit that this one seems pretty bad. She offers to do what she can and says she wants to go and talk to those in the Bahamut temple. She's directed towards a small doorway, almost like a back alley, mostly obscured by the gleaming silver mass of the House of Zol Berdia. Raphina goes with her.

Meanwhile Will has been over at the House of Zol Berdia, fascinatedly running his hands over the walls. He notes that he hasn't seen anyone go in or out. Someone in red robes is standing by the doorway to the temple, their face mostly obscured by their hood, holding a box with a hole on the top. He approaches them and they say *"Would you like to enter the House of Zol Berdia to receive forgiveness?"* Will's told that it would require a donation of 2sp, to which Will chuckles knowingly. Will pays up and is admitted, waving to the others as he goes. Batthwack follows him in, paying an extra silver piece.

Will finds himself in a long corridor with gilded walls, ceiling and floor. Gleaming gold is everywhere. There's low, warm lighting illuminating the walls and there is a pleasant scent in the air, as if someone somewhere is burning incense. The corridor ahead bends to the left as he progresses. Will is completely baffled, having seen nothing like this in Tivoli. Batthwack enters and Will laughs as he cheerily calls out *"Welcome!"* Batthwack is slightly unnerved by how happy Will appears to be. He's touching the walls in a way that is a mixture of disbelief and religious reverence.

As they continue down the corridor together Will explains to Batthwack that Zol Berdia is the patron god of Tivoli. The corridor twists and turns as if they're in a labyrinth and they quickly lose their sense of direction. Will starts to a little uncertain about this, and sniffs the air to make sure he's not being drugged or anything. Seeing this, Batthwack wonders if there's more to this than meets the eye and is reminded of the secret passages in Castle Ravenloft, but he is also so entranced by this strange place that he cannot discern anything of that sort. Will claps in front of his face to snap him out of it.

A few minutes pass as they wander along the winding corridor, until eventually they arrive at an opening to the outside, what's left of the daylight is streaming in through it. Passing through the exit, they're met by a sign that reads *"You have been forgiven"* and outside, fixed to the wall, is a large painting of a smiling man dressed in red robes with a yellow hood. The robed man is very familiar to Will, who immediately recognises it as Eldon. Once outside, both of them suddenly feel as if a huge weight has been released from their shoulders and they breath out, relieved, as if exhaling from deep within their core.

They're in what appears to be a small courtyard with walls on either side. A pathway goes round to the left, leading back down an alleyway. The chanting from the square can be heard echoing down it. Batthwack feels so light on his feet that he has to check his bag, which still contains everything it used to. He smiles to himself. Will stops to look at the image of the robed man, utterly perplexed. He wonders to himself if they might have missed any secret doors or other areas inside the temple and looks at the exit to see if there's anything preventing him from re-entering, only to discover an impenetrable, invisible barrier barring the way.

Batthwack asks Will all about the painting of Zol Berdia and Will acts very weird about it, explaining that back in Tivoli Zol Berdia is usually depicted with his face covered, in the same manner as the person taking donations, so this is an oddly specific representation. Batthwack looks closely at the face of Zol Berdia, noting that he's a handsome man with olive-toned skin, a nice bright smile and straight teeth. Will looks at the painting, lost in thought, and even tries to lift it off the wall, but finds it fixed. Batthwack draws his sword and offers to help remove it. Will seems to snap out of it at this point, says he doesn't want the picture and immediately breezes off down the alleyway.

Batthwack considers the painting again. Will seemed so perturbed by the fact it had a face. He goes into his pack and retrieves his cardstock and pen, draws a smiley face and glues it over Zol Berdia's face using some old fish taco he finds in there. He smiles to himself, pleased with his work and then follows Will.

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Eric. Will sarcastically says that they're here to solve all the city's problems, but Sheemie thinks Raphina probably has another goal in mind, saying *"I'll bet Raphina probably wants to blow up that damn."* Alex/Batthwack: *"Good thing she's not here."* Abby/Raphina: *"Yeah! I don't know who you're taking about."* Eric/Sheemie: *"Yeah, that's why she went crazy right? Started killing everybody, right?"* KT/Will: *"Right. Yes."* Eric/Sheemie: *"Cuz she wanted to blow up the dam. Yecch. Serial killer. If I see her I'll shoot her in the head."* KT/Will: *"Oh! Woah!"* Abby/Raphina: *"Ok that's far enough. Let's talk about something else. Very good."* Eric/Sheemie: *"All right. Have you ever played, uh, hopscotch?"*
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: hoopy.

## Recap Song

*Main article: The Music of Pork Fried Dice*
This episode featured Abby doing a recap to the tune of *Tomorrow* by Morrissey:

Beartoggle…

We are finally here

But though we have a hotel room

Will could use a better one

What’s that hulking building looming on the river bank?

It’s the Grand Hotel Beartoggle

Will nearly pees his pants

Hotel Beartoggle

Batthwack tries the potty

Gwen’s bed is too small

Raphina rides the luggage cart

All Will wants from life is not to share a hotel room

Would you put some walls between us?

He wants to hear nobody

Oh, the doormen to tip

Oh, fancy pants pillow mints

The tiny soap

The minibar

Thrills Will’s shiftless body

The footrace

On the grand staircase

Why would you do it?

For an over-sized key?

We think we’d never win, we never said we wanted to…

Will would die…

Oh, the broken street lamps

Oh, those sooty-gang ibish

Do they have some

Motivation?

Sooty bird graffiti

All that we can hear - ohhhhhhhhh -

Calliope in every room, calliope in every room

Calliope…calliope…

Would you flood the banks and wash away this huge hotel?

Raphina might…

Oh the calliope

Oh the cacophony

Calliope…Oh why, Eric, why calliope?…

*[Calliope outro!]*

## References

1. ↑ See episode 252: The Pied Piper of Puppetry
2. ↑ See episode 248: I'm Bloodhorn Leghorn and I'm a Sheep
3. ↑ This seems to agree with the sighting the party had over Morrow's Inlet. See episode 225: The Dead Among You Have Nothing to Fear
4. ↑ See episode 174: 37 YEARS!