Halloween Number One

**"Tonight we have to avoid completion of things, like, y'know ..." - Pen**
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"**Halloween Number One**" is a new episode of Pencil 2.O, and until recently, there has been neither number nor date associated. In this episode, the family celebrate the first Halloween in the city

## Tuesday, October 29, 2013

### **Outside the school auditorium**

**Scene**Zorah and Yaretzi, together with a large group of students, are stood in a queue.
* **Z****o****rah**: This is so stupid!
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: No it's not! It's awareness, and I love awareness.
* **Helvetia**: Yes, it's for a very good cause. That's what they say.
* **Z****o****rah**: You know what it's about?
* **Helvetia**: *Non.*
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: Hey, there's Saye!
* **Z****o****rah**: With her friends, so don't bother her.
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: Okay.
* **Z****o****rah**: *Yo, Saye, girl, I see you hanging out there!*
* **S****a****y****e**: [*stepping out of queue*] What are you two doing here? I'm with my friends.
* **P****op****si****cley**: Yeah, she's with us.
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: Do you know what this meeting is for?
* **S****a****y****e**: I don't know. But it's probably going to be boring.
* **Bo****a****t**: [*loudly*] *And if she did know, she sure as day wouldn't tell you!*

[*Nearly everyone stops speaking and they stare at her.*]

* **Chocolatey**: Oh my tree sap.
* **M****i****n****o****la**: Have you ever stood up for yourself?
* **Bo****a****t**: No. I don't think I have!
* **Shelly**: Good for you, power to the people!
* **Bo****a****t**: Suddenly I'm embarrassed.
* **Z****o****rah**: Ricky, you are, like, shadier than I am. What's this all about?
* **Ricko****berto**: Don't know, my brother hasn't given the deets. I said *det*—
* **Z****o****rah**: I know what you said.
* **P****op****si****cley**: Come on, Saye, I've got seats next to Bdoulayé.
* **Chocolatey**: You only like him for his giant freezer!
* **S****a****y****e**: Like I said, it's probably going to be boring anyway.

### **Home**

**Scene**The kids come home.
* **S****a****y****e**: The best speech ever!
* **Ja****vier**: The use of rhetoric in his voice was all too convincing for my taste.
* **P****en**: Kids, I take it you enjoyed classes, eh?

[*A. R. I.*]

* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: Pen, something interesting happened in school!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Based on 'ow y' ne'er says stuff like this, it mus' 'a'e been interestin'!
* **S****a****y****e**: Ah, how was your day, Mum?
* **P****e****nci****l**: I did a good thing!
* **C****i****t****lali**: Really, what was it?

[*Enter* **Match**, *who is focused on her phone.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Turn right at, like, 80 centimetres.
* **X****i****men****a**: Aunt Match!

[*A. R. I.*]

* **X****i****men****a**: Your phone's supposed to be speaking to you!
* **P****e****nci****l**: I invited 'er o'er fer tea.
* **Ma****tch**: Hey, kids! You haven't heard? Like, Meeple are having a contest about who can be the first, like, Kenyan voice assistant. And I'm totally, like, auditioning!
* **P****e****nci****l**: I've been 'elpin'e with 'er articulations.
* **S****io**: Then why doesn't she sound like you?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Er...

[*She sits on the couch.*]

* **Z****o****rah**: Good luck with that.
* **Ja****vier**: Anyway, the guy at the speech was so cool!
* **Qala****m-Rass****as**: He told us what to do!
* **C****i****t****lali**: And we listened.
* **P****e****nci****l**: [*getting up*] Well, wot kind o' speech is so grand as ter 'a'e th' 'ole school brainwashed?
* **S****a****y****e**: Ladies, gentleman... The day after tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, we shall have our first Nairobi Halloween!

[*The children all howl like they're observing the moon.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Wot? A Nairobi 'Alloween? Thet's when we decorate minimally an' tell the local kids we h'ain' 'ome! Wot's to make o'er this?
* **Z****o****rah**: Well, Mum, you might be the problem.
* **Ja****vier**: Yes, when you go to the North American neighbourhoods, they take it seriously.
* **P****e****nci****l**: I'm sorry, but we h'ain' from North America.

[*Match and Pen clear their throats, attracting Pencil's attention.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Oh, sorry, fergot me geography fer a moment.
* **Qala****m-Rass****as**: Come on, Mummy!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Fine, alright. We can celebrate 'Alloween if y'wants to. 'Ow d'ye people o' Canada do'e? D'ye decorate an' do little costumes?
* **P****en**: Oh yeah.
* **Ma****tch**: Times, like, a brazillion. Like that guy I'm, like, seeing right now. Oh João...
* **S****io**: I think Halloween at our house is a great idea! The speech guy says it all.
* **S****a****y****e**: Yeah, you remember what he said at the end of the speech!
* **Qala****m-Rass****as**: "Stay here; it's not home time."
* **S****a****y****e**: He said, "Go forth and shop for costumes." That means all the stores will be crowded!
* **C****i****t****lali**: And we'll be shopping with everyone else, where people will be looking at me and I can finally make it famous in a Hollywood film, oh, please can we go?
* **Ma****tch**: We can wait another day. Like, like tomorrow.

## Wednesday, October 30

### **Parti's Party Store**

**Scene**The parents take the kids shopping. Match comes along too, for the reason of...
* **Ma****tch**: Hey there, gorgeous.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Oh, stop thet!
* **Ma****tch**: Eh.
* **P****e****nci****l**: So, this shop wasn' 'ere yesterday, innit?
* **X****i****men****a**: No, it's very new.
* **C****i****l**: Goo!

* **C****i****t****lali**: No, Cil, she meant "goo"—I mean, "new".
* **P****e****nci****l**: I taste suspicion 'ere.
* **P****en**: Oh, Penc, lighten up. I did some research and Halloween is a thing in Britain.
* **X****i****men****a**: Grandpa would be proud.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Not exactly. 'E's too busy rantin' about 'ow 'Alloween's made fer the devils.
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: That's a good costume idea!

[*Meanwhile, with the kids.*]

* **S****a****y****e**: Nurse, nurse, suggestive nurse, suggestive nurse, suggestive nurse. Aunt Match, why the heck are there so many of these?
* **Ma****tch**: Because, y'know, like, if you find a costume, you got to make sure *everyone* will think it's pretty. Do you have to be a nurse, like, anyway?
* **S****a****y****e**: No, but all of my friends are going as nurses. We're going to be the hospital alliance. The Hospitalliance!
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, like, peer pressure, girl! Just like the good old days.
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: Who should I be?
* **Z****o****rah**: How about I be an angel and you be a devil?
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: That one's taken.
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: How about we go as each other? We are the only twins of the same gender.
* **Z****o****rah**: Yeah, I can learn to act happy and dumb.
* **C****i****t****lali**: The shades, the tiara... It's perfect! I'll go as me times a hundred!
* **Ja****vier**: Why exactly am *I* the mad scientist?
* **Qala****m-Rass****as**: You wouldn't want to be a football player.
* **S****io**: Or Beatnik.
* **Ja****vier**: Now I'm just mad.

[*Enter* **Pencil**.]

* **P****e****nci****l**: 'Ow're me costume-seekin' kids doin' so far?
* **S****io**: Great!
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: We've all picked out our costumes!
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: Except Mona.
* **P****e****nci****l**: ***MONA!***

[*Enter* **Ximena**. *She is shining very brightly.*]

* **X****i****men****a**: Here I am!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Oi, turn thet thing off! I think you're drainin' the power o' th' entire store.
* **X****i****men****a**: Sorry!

[*She turns the lights off.*]

* **X****i****men****a**: This is my Christmas tree costume. If we're going to be trick-or-treating, we're going to need a lot of light.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Mona's right. To the cashier!

### **Outside**

**Scene**
* **P****e****nci****l**: Thet was fun!
* **P****en**: You should have seen the look on his face when you said we were all in the same family.
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: We know.
* **Z****o****rah**: Mum made us smile.
* **C****i****t****lali**: Weren't we awkward?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Come on, let's go to the decorations store next!
* **S****a****y****e**: You go on, we're going home with Dad.
* **Qala****m-Rass****as**: I'm tired!
* **Ma****tch**: 'Kay, meet you back home!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Not with the way we shop, eh?
* **Ma****tch**: Ha!

[*The two groups walk in different directions.*]

## Thursday, October 31

### **Morning**

**Scene**Overnight, the house has suddenly become a decorated "haunted house". Pencil makes breakfast as Pen sits at the table drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Enter most of the **kids**.
* **S****io**: Good morning!
* **Ja****vier**: There's my cliché parents!
* **S****a****y****e**: Why aren't you wearing your Halloween costumes?
* **P****e****nci****l**: I don't know, why h'ain'ee wearin' yours?
* **S****a****y****e**: Because we don't wear our costumes until it's night!

[*Enter* **Yaretzi** *and* **Zorah**, *dressed as each other.*]

* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: I'm Zorah! I cackle and make potions in my room!
* **Z****o****rah**: I'm Issie. I am always happy for some reason.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Oh, ain' the twins so h'adorable? Besides the potions comment.
* **P****en**: Why so early, girls?
* **C****i****t****lali**: Dad, you can't just insult their sense of fashion. And anyway, they didn't even get their voices, like, right.
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: We're having a contest.
* **Z****o****rah**: The first one to take away this dumb, I mean, a-*ma*-zing costume has to give half of her candy to the other.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Thet's very cute.
* **Ja****vier**: You know, Mum, grown-ups have to have a costume too.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Wot? 'O told you thet? The speech man?
* **S****io**: How did you know?
* **X****i****men****a**: It looks like you'd better go to the Parti Party Store and pick something out!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Oh, alright. Pen, you're goin' with me.
* **P****en**: Why?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Wan' me to pick somethin' fer'ee, acos I've got somethin' in me mind.

[*She raises her eyebrows up and down.*]

* **P****en**: On second thought, I'll go!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Shall we?
* **P****en**: Saye, you're in charge!
* **P****e****nci****l**: [*going*] 'Ello, Match.
* **P****en**: [*to Saye*] Never mind!
* **Ma****tch**: Kids!
* **Kids**: Aunt Match!
* **X****i****men****a**: You're here early!
* **Ma****tch**: Like, totally.
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: Did something *bad* happen to Uncle Eraser?
* **Ma****tch**: No, he's just visiting Bafuworld for the day.
* **Ja****vier**: No way! That's the biggest WC in the EAC!
* **Ma****tch**: He should be back, so I can, like, give him his Halloween costume.
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: Give?
* **Ma****tch**: Well, Zorah, every year, like, your uncle went as the same exact thing. A paper bag.
* **All**: A paper bag?
* **S****io**: Why?
* **Ma****tch**: Like, symbolism or some junk. Omg, we're going to have the best night ever together! Especially me and my, like, fellow nurse.
* **S****a****y****e**: Aunt Match, I've already changed my mind. We are now going as the beautiful non-dead.
* **Z****o****rah**: It's undead, I know some of them!
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: Yaretzi wouldn't know stuff like that.
* **Z****o****rah**: Oh, poo.
* **Ma****tch**: So, like, where are your mum and dad going?
* **S****a****y****e**: Halloween shopping!
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: They forgot *old* people need to dress up.
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, those old people.
* **C****i****t****lali**: Aunt Match, you're, like, like our mum's age!
* **Ma****tch**: At least I remembered to dress up. So, what do you, like, want to do?
* **Qala****m-Rass****as**: Video games?
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: I'm down!
* **Ja****vier**: As long as it's educational; we're missing school today!

[*The boys hurry downstairs.*]

* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: I want to watch the Good News channel.
* **Z****o****rah**: No I wouldn't! Unless you're really me.
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: I mean, I'll go outside and throw rocks.

[*Exeunt.*]

* **S****a****y****e**: And I'll be on the phone.
* **C****i****t****lali**: I'll be listening in.

[*Exeunt.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Well, Mona, it looks like it's just you and me.

[*Beat.*]

* **X****i****men****a**: Hooray!
* **Ma****tch**: Looking forward to your costume?
* **X****i****men****a**: No. I hate it.
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, like, why? Christmas trees are *so* in... I think.
* **X****i****men****a**: But it's not me. I just chose it because I didn't want to feel left out.
* **Ma****tch**: The fear of that, eh? Don't worry. I'll make you a costume that will, like, *totally* make your brothers and sisters jealous.
* **X****i****men****a**: Aw, thank you!
* **Ma****tch**: No worries. So let's get started on this thing!

### **Afternoon**

**Scene**View of a clock. Its hands move throughout the day, eventually ending at 5:00. Ximena's playing on her phone and watching television as Match works on her costume.
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, Mona, thanks for bonding with me!
* **X****i****men****a**: What?
* **Ma****tch**: Presenting... your new costume!

[*She shows... something.*]

* **X****i****men****a**: Yay, thank you!
* **C****i****t****lali**: What is it?
* **Ma****tch**: She's a Viking... [*dreamily*] whose male versions were part of, like, the hottest pillaging team ever.
* **Z****o****rah**: Aunt Match, shame on you!
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: There are children here!
* **C****i****l**: Goo!
* **S****io**: Hey, it's Cil!
* **Ma****tch**: Oh yeah. What's he going to be?
* **Ja****vier**: Mother heeded his request, so he's going to be a—
* **C****i****l**: Ghoul!

[*Enter* **Pencil** *and* **Pen**.]

* **P****e****nci****l**: 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, 'ow're me kids doin' today?
* **Ma****tch**: There you are! These kids have been, like, avoiding me all day.
* **S****a****y****e**: Aunt Match!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Oi, why do thet?
* **Ma****tch**: It's okay, Mona and I were working on her, like, costume.
* **X****i****men****a**: I look great!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Nice unicorn-astronaut thing, Match.
* **P****en**: That's what it was? I thought it was the spirit of the 1960s.
* **S****a****y****e**: So Mum, Dad, what are your costumes?
* **P****e****nci****l**: I'm goin' as a witch!
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, is it a suggestive witch?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Why'n'ale's e'erythin' t'ee's suggestive? It's normal, I swear!
* **P****en**: Yeah, because most witch dresses are three sizes too small.
* **Ma****tch**: Alright, then, like, what's on *yo*, bro?
* **P****en**: What's tall and thin...
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: You?
* **P****en**: And wears a suit...
* **S****a****y****e**: You when you sing opera?
* **P****en**: And has white skin?
* **Ja****vier**: Privilege?
* **P****en**: You really don't recognise this?

[*He pulls out a Slender Man costume, here known as Blender Man. The kids gasp.*]

* **Z****o****rah**: You're Bl—Bl—Bl—
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: Blender Man!
* **Z****o****rah**: His followers don't finish his name.
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: I mean, Bl—Bl—Bl—
* **P****e****nci****l**: It's nice, innit? I chose'e fer'e.
* **Z****o****rah**: Except you didn't get the face right.
* **Ja****vier**: Studies have shown that Blender Man is faceless.
* **P****en**: Come on, why would anybody want to cover *this*?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Well, we've got the costumes. Wot more shall we do h'ere it's time?
* **S****io**: The guy from the speech told us to stay still until 18:21.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Why?
* **S****io**: That's the time the sun sets!
* **P****en**: Sounds promising. Penc, want to help me get the candy ready?
* **C****i****t****lali**: What candy?
* **P****en**: This!

[*He opens a counter that is full of candy.*]

* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: You had this without us noticing?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Thet's where Match an' I were yesterday! Not only've we got candy, but we've chocolates, fruit bars, all o' the foods you could get away with eatin' jus' fer today.
* **S****io**: May we eat them now?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Wot, no! You're all goin' off fer th'Alloween! [*to Pen*] 'Ow's thet?
* **P****en**: Most people don't say "the Halloween". [*to the kids*] Your mum's right, the amount of candy we give should be equal to the amount of candy you get!
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: What is this, maths?
* **Ja****vier**: Oh, I hope!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Now geh'n' get yer costumes fer the time's almos' 'ere!

[*Exeunt. A few minutes later, there is everybody in their costumes.*]

* **Ma****tch**: [*inspecting*] Nice, nice, nice, like, cool, nice, like, like... Saye, oh my, like, woodsicles, what is that?
* **S****a****y****e**: I told you, it's the non-dead.
* **Z****o****rah**: Un-dead!
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: Yes, the un-dead!
* **Ma****tch**: It looks nice for you.
* **S****a****y****e**: Aw, thanks!
* **Ma****tch**: Now what do you say we get the show on the road!
* **Qala****m-Rass****as**: Can Mum and Dad come with us?
* **P****en**: We'd love to—
* **P****e****nci****l**: But we're busy 'andin' out the sweets ter all o' yer friends.
* **Ma****tch**: Onward... march!

[*Exeunt. Pencil sees Pen biting into a chocolate bar.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Pen, you're not supposed ter eat the sweets!
* **P****en**: I can't help it! We'd better get some guests in right away.

[*There is a knock on the door.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: I'll get'ee!

[*She looks through the door and sees their neighbour Helena outside.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Omg, it's 'Elena.
* **P****en**: Does she want anything?
* **P****e****nci****l**: E'ery year she h'asks me to go to church with'e fer All Saints' Day.
* **P****en**: We've lived here for two years, why hasn't she come when I'm around?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Acos las' year we spent 'Alloween in thet 'aunted 'ouse an' the year before you were at the pub!
* **P****en**: That explains it.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Open the door whils' I hide!
* **P****en**: Okay.

[*She opens the door.*]

* **P****en**: Helena! [*pronounced improperly*] *Habari za mchana!*
* **Hele****n****a**: Good evening, Mr. Schreiber, *habari za familia?*
* **P****en**: Er...
* **Hele****n****a**: *Je, mke wako nyumbani?*
* **P****en**: [*agitated*] Oh, she's here!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Dude!

[*The door opens, revealing Pencil dressed as a witch. Helena screams.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Oh dear, *hii sio jinsi inavyoonekana!*
* **Hele****n****a**: *Mimi niende sasa, siwezi kuwa mbele ya mchawi!*
* **P****e****nci****l**: Wait, please!
* **Hele****n****a**: *Nitawaombea.*

[*Exit* **Helena**.]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Now you see why me dad ne'er celebrated 'Alloween, eh?
* **P****en**: I've suddenly lost my appetite for sweets.

[*She elbows him playfully.*]

### **Outside**

**Scene**Match leads the kids on the streets. It is nearly 6:21.
* **C****i****t****lali**: Saye, what time is it?
* **S****a****y****e**: My phone says... my friends are getting closer.
* **C****i****t****lali**: That didn't have anything to do with—

[*Yaretzi screams.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Nice Halloween spirit, whoever you are!
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: Oh no, my horoscope!
* **Z****o****rah**: [*scoffs*] Uh, Zorah wouldn't scream about her horoscope.
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: I mean... hoo, ho, bro, this horoscope of mine.
* **Ja****vier**: [*reading off*] "Today is the day of the Flicker-o'-Sky."
* **Y****a****r****e****tzi**: Which means, it should be nighttime in—

[*Immediately, the sky switches from day to night.*]

* **Z****o****rah**: Zero seconds, yay!
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: Can you stop being positive?
* **Z****o****rah**: *You* want to be included in this bet, O demon?
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: No.
* **Z****o****rah**: Then shut up—I mean, please do be quiet for my selfish needs, hooray!
* **Ma****tch**: Easy there, Martha and Megan.
* **Ja****vier**: It's dark outside; I'm getting the heebie-jeebies!
* **Sa****lvad****o****r**: That's racist!
* **Ma****tch**: It's, like, a bit dark.

[*One by one, the houses on the neighbourhood light up with decorations.*]

* **C****i****t****lali**: Wow. This is lovely!
* **S****io**: I've never seen Nairobi like this since last Christmas.
* **S****a****y****e**: I could stay here forever!

[*Phone alert sound.*]

* **S****a****y****e**: Omg, they're here. Gotta go!
* **C****i****t****lali**: [*going with her*] So do I!
* **S****a****y****e**: What?
* **Ma****tch**: Stay safe! [*to the others*] Alright, it looks like it's just the one, two, three, four... seven of us. Remember that, like, number, eh?
* **Ja****vier**: This will be fun.
* **Ma****tch**: When I say "se-", you say "-ven!" Se!

[*Silence.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Se!

[*Silence.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Omg, like, no fun!

## Notes

1. ↑ [1]
2. ↑ **(Sw.)** "Good afternoon!"
3. ↑ **(Sw.)** "How is your family?"
4. ↑ **(Sw.)** "Is your wife home?"
5. ↑ **(Sw.)** "This is not what it looks like!"
6. ↑ **(Sw.)** "I have to go now, I can not be in the presence of a witch!"
7. ↑ **(Sw.)** "I shall pray for you."