The Shadow Messenger Archives

I apologize in advance since I am unsure how else to write these out.

I am what you call the Shadow Messenger. Who is the Shadow Messenger, you may ask? I am an individual who is meant to expose the RUC and Indigo Syndicate with the truth. I watched their wiki for a long time and I got sick of all these exaggerated stories. I decided to open up a service for the ones affected by their actions to speak out through me. Some may remain anonymous while others will speak their mind.

This article is designed for archiving these messages without running the risk of being edited by a certain shark.

Admin edit: Due to the high volume of messages that have since piled up, we are testing a new template that can help condense the article. (I myself am confused on how this works buuuut we can figure it out.)

**For future reference, use line number 1 for the "headline" of the message, and number 2 for the entire message itself.**

Message line 1 (headline)Message line 2 (main content)
All text goes here

## Stella

This is the Shadow Messenger sending a message from the woman named Stella:"There is so much wrong not only with my page but this whole religion you posted. First off, Raphael was not the Bishop I originally followed. Father Harris was a good man and he lead the Church well. Yet this golden masked man with these armed, golden robed cultists came and I never saw Father Harris again. We know you killed him so you can take his place.
You threatened all of us to stay there unless you wanted to kill us. I only stayed because I did not want to die. Well, I guess it didn't matter later on. I am not in love with Ira, I just helped him with his injury, alongside Mr. Boris, who is a close friend of mine who avoided the RUC's wrath for years. Your cyborg friend not only killed Boris but he also spotted me, sending the message to Bishop Raphael, causing him to false flag me as a serial killer by murdering my friends. The other nuns I considered my family and not only did this maniac kill them in cold blood but he framed me for it.

He is no Bishop I follow. I follow my own path. And you ruined my life because I helped a man your group hated. I do not swear because I am still a woman of God but... Fuck you."

## Indigo Copter

This is the Shadow Messenger sending a message from a person who wanted to rename anonymous:"You may not know me, Popeye Jr but I am a survivor from a town you ruined with your shitty ass helicopter. All because some guy insulted the color of your tie, you decided to chase them all the way to our town with your helicopter. Like the selfish little prick that you were, you decided to launch that disgusting gas onto us.
Well. You succeeded in getting the guy but everyone else. Now you mutated everyone in my town into mindless monsters. My mom, my pa, my sis, my baby brother. All turned into monsters because of you and your god awful psycho shit.

You will pay for what you did."

## Cat-Bleeders

This is the Shadow Messenger sending a message from an anonymous Neko person:"I used to be a citizen at Sunset Hill, alongside my family. We were just a mindful group of Nekos minding our own business when this dollar general store Space Marine ran in and calling us "Cat-Bleeders". The asshole then sent these ugly ass drones to shoot my family up. If it wasn't for the fact I pretended to be dead, I really would have been killed.
My friends and family are all gone now because you gunned them down. And for what? Because some girl that you hate likes anime or is a neko girl? Or is it because due to them liking cats you associate cats with them so you attack them? What the fuck is wrong with you!?"
## Director Tuffin

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger directed by an anonymous individual:"This fuckhead cop is corrupt as fuck. I quit the force due to him and his corruption. He would berate his fellow officers if they aren't totally into his ideals and he would plant drugs into people to make them criminals. He did it to my friend just because he was black!
And the Indigo Syndicate and RUC has the gall to try and get him a political position! This fucking disgusts me!"

## Deathacorn

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from an anonymous person:"These so-called "Deathacorns" are merely an excuse by the Indigo Syndicate assholes to try and poach Unicorns. They're already an endangered species due to people valuing their horns. Now the Indigo Syndicate created these false reports on Unicorns and now people are scared of them or hunting them down.
I heard there's even a Unicorn farm dedicated to breeding unicorns just to slaughter them for their horns. It is sickening! Sickening, I tell you!"
## Noidmaine Jr.

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from an anonymous person."This fucking bitch of a woman is why I got hospitalized. I accidentally coughed slightly near her because I was suffering from a cold and I apologized to her like a normal person. What does she reward me with?
Chopping my fucking cock off with her hedgeclippers! What the absolute fuck!? She's a maniac! If anything goes slightly wrong with her, she pulls out those oversized scissors and tries to chop you up with them! Given she is the lover to a maniac's son, it makes sense."
## Glackenburgen

This is a message from the Shadow messenger from an anonymous source."Hi. This is the same guy who got his dick chopped off from Noidmaine Jr. I would like to correct one thing on hers and Glacks wiki that is corrected. She did not chop of Glacks dick at all. She just kicked him in the nuts. Still fucking disrespectful but a lot more manageable than what they were implying here.
Also why the fuck are you using one of your enemies for this god awful wedding of yours?"

## Queens Sanctuary

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from an Anonymous source:"I decided to check this school around out of curiosity and Noidmaine has to be a tyrant, like her fiancé here. She would dictate the students to do a lot of heinous stuff like a dictator would. Also it is really easy to disguise yourself as a student due to the clothes. All you have to get is one of the four colored costumes, remember the name of the House it belongs to, and there you go. That is a severe safety violation that I doubt any of them would fix.
Also they never mentioned the punishment they do if you get in trouble. Because the building they use is not even theres and they "refurbished" it, there is a dungeon down bottom. They do enough torture down there to make Vlad the Impaler blush. Like holy shit, those are kids they are torturing! One kid had his teeth pulled out just because he farted near Noidmaines general vicinity! What the fuck!?"

## The Duke

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from the one you call the "Duke":"My boy. My baby boy. My flesh and blood. What did you do to him!? What sick madman would put one of those horrible chips into my son! His name was not Sewk at all! And he barely remembers me! I just hope deep down he can fight back that chip you put in him so he can remember me. If not then I hope he can be put out of his misery.
You hurt my only son. Why? Why? Why would you do this?"

## Dr. Jeffery Hans

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from one Dr. Jeffery Hans:"Well, well, well. I can't say I am not exactly surprised that you would inevitably make a page about me. The more I read it, the more I had to sigh. I had very low expectations already and my disappointment is still immeasurable. Let me clarify some things here.
1. I will admit, Eugene and I were friends when we were younger. Unfortunately if I had future judgement for the monster he would become, I would never have decided to be in the same Science group as him. If anything, I feel guilty for not seeing the warning signs beforehand.
2. I did not know anything about the Indigo Syndicate or the RUC at the time. Not until I decided to travel a little bit, which will lead to..
3. The idea of me taking some of Berns blood from a transfusion is unsanitary. I traveled to her land when times were dark and I noticed the poor girl was sick with severe seasonal allergies. I felt really awful about seeing her like that so I asked her higher ups if I could help around briefly. Thankfully the medicine I created made her better. Both of us even talked as I was giving her a health examination. Dare I say, she was a sweet lass and in different times we could have been friends. But she did tell me everything about the RUC.
4. Eugene, you were not helping a hospital at all. If anything, you sent out these Sawblade robots to attack the poor kids. You knew this wouldn't help them and all you wanted to do was to see them suffer for your sick experiments. It was only then I saw your true colors.
5. I called you out on this, Eugene. And took the words from Bern into account about the RUC, especially when I realized earlier she mentioned a "Dr. Zitbag" whom Eugene pretended to be his apprentice for PR gain to the uneducated masses. This got him angry enough for him to attack me.
6. I tried to help the kids but the robots attacked them. I only managed to save a couple of them before running off. I wasn't surprised to see Eugene put the blame on me.
7. This "Armageddon" faction you speak of are kind individuals. They took the kids in and let me stay. I decided to volunteer for a little to help them fight back against these psycho groups.
8. Armageddon is such a cheesy name and that isn't their name.

I must say, your text is rather unhinged here. You may have villainized me but I am sure even if I were to die, I will find a way to take you with me, Eugene. I became a scientist to better help lives and instead I got stabbed in the back by you and others, Eugene. My guilty for even associating with you made me decide to fight back against you."

## Olive Oil

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from one Olive Oil."I'm just gonna be blunt here and to the point: I made a fucking terrible mistake marrying Popeye. I thought he was dreamy at first until he began the RUC stuff. I used to think it was some club with his friends until I saw the heinous acts he was committing with his friends. And to make matters worse, our own son is doing the same thing!
I didn't 'disappear'. I left you two. My biggest regret was meeting Popeye and conceiving an equally messed up child with him. Where did I go wrong? Is it because all of my children will be psychopaths? Or is it just Popeyes DNA? I feel miserable knowing I married a psychopath and gave birth to a psychopath. I was hoping one day either of them would listen but I guess it was to no avail.

If you see the Shadow Messengers message I gave to him, then I will have legally changed my name. I do not want any part of this psychopathy. I am sorry, I just can't live like this any longer."

## I.N.U.C. Channel

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from an anonymous individual:"Dear fucking god, someone shut this fucking channel off. I am forced to work at this channel station. Half of the people working here were forced into this job and have to do what they say lest Julius sends some men to kill us.
All of these channels are basically propaganda and weird propaganda at that. Their Hopey the Bunny show isn't a cartoon. It's a puppet show. The fucking weird shit is I swear to god that rabbit puppet is alive because whenever I leave someone there with the rabbit, I find them dead with the rabbit near them!

Don't get me started on some of the other channels. Big Earls cooking show? He tries to make a lot of food but the big guy made some poor sap grow a third arm trying to eat his "soup". And do not buy ANYTHING from their shopping channel! Everything they sell is explosive! I feel very bad for the people on RUC Most Wanted. They are normal people or even true heroes that the RUC and Indigo Syndicate throw in there with super exaggerated reenactments that feel like I am watching a movie than a crime show.

Sewk knows jack shit about movies because he was experimented enough to the point that he doesn't know what they even are. And dear god, I hate the Juniors Case with a passion. Watching Popeye Jr flaunt around his wealth and items he bought for an hour is not television entertainment in the slightest. Who watches this shit!?

Please for the love of god, if anyone is out there silence Julius. He is just as bad as Jabberjaw, except louder and he seems like the kind of guy who would shit his pants to confuse you long enough before he tries to attack you! SHUT HIM UP, PLEASE!"

## The Prince of Shadows

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from the Shadow messenger himself."We hold no affiliations to this bullshit and we are offended they used the word "Shadows" for this stuff. Just throwing that out there."

## Indigo Syndicate Military force

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from an anonymous individual:"I am a spy pretending to be a soldier form their Military Force and oh my god, their application is a mess. The Indigo Uber Aptitude Test is a huge mess with a fifty page exam. If you know the G.O.A.T. from Fallout, it is pretty much that but a lot more confusing and the results are random. People who want to be medics and people who want to be soldiers get the opposite job, which may partly explain part of their incompetency, other than being trained by Nikolai Almuff.
Also they have a ton of soldier types that I feel like some of them are meant to be flashy than effective. What kind of military has soldiers who use radiation or wield Chainsaws!?

The colors don't really mean much, minus the Elite Soldiers being Blue since those are the ones guarding Popeye Jr. Other than that, they are the same."

## Condore Chashter

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from an anonymous individual:"This guy has such a huge ego that its like looking at a human Jabberjaw. Just because he was best known in a series of vampire movies, he likes to gloat about it. His other roles aren't as impressive, especially when he played as Popeye in the RUC movies. He thinks he is hot shit and the only fangirls he has are RUCitizens, mostly due to him acting like Popeye.
He acts so posh and egotistical it isn't even funny. I don't get why he wants to be the 16th Indigo Syndicate member except to gain media attention for being an actor joining them. I feel bad for anyone who has to deal with this guy, especially if they have allergies to roses."

## Big Earls Kitchen

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from an anonymous individual:"Dear fucking god, do NOT eat the Mystery Meat! For all that is good and lovely, do not fucking eat there! If you think RUCluckers is bad, Big Earls Kitchen is just as bad! In their basements, they rough up people for interrogation on their Dead Suns/Indigo Syndicate business while people are eating. And there's these machines with huge saws and one giant machine that looks like a huge ass blender. You know that one Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode where Bart and Lisa's school turns to cannibalism? It is a bit like that. When they want to dispose of someone, they throw them into those machines and put their remains as "Mystery Meat".
BIG EARLS MYSTERY MEAT IS PEOPLE! PEOPLE!"

## Izzy

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from an anonymous individual:"He was just a regular dog man who wanted to be part of a bodybuilding contest and this maniacal, fish-eyed sorcerer came out of nowhere, accused him of shit, and then attacked all of them and put the blame on him. The Sweat & Pain Muscle Society Massacre was such a horrible thing to witness. So many dead bodybuilders and broken families...
I don't know where this Izzy guy went but he ended up escaping, being a broken mess. Maybe he is part of the rebellion. I don't know. But if you see Izzy, give him a hug. He needs it."

## RUMuseum

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from an anonymous individual:"This "Museum" of theirs is a god damn death trap. Their paintings are either stolen from talented artists, painted by said talented artists they enslaved, or looks like finger paint art. There is so much questionable objects around here that you wonder why they're even part of said RUC history. The "Screamer" is at least accurate: Felix painted it and somehow he made it so every time you touch it, it screams so loudly it bursts ear drums.
I will warn you about their statue, "The Leader". If for whatever reason it is included in other forms of media, you MUST put a censor bar on its crotch! My friend stared at the Popeye statues tiny shrimp dick and he went insane due to staring into the dick void for too long! That statue drives people insane with its Popeye nudity!"

## Hell's Kitchen

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from an anonymous individual:"What the fuck is wrong with you, guys. They don't have a restaurant chain. It's just a local restaurant A.B. owns that Bern helps now and then for her friends. And their food is a lot more delicious than whatever you guys will make! Their chicken sandwiches are good here!
You guys are just jealous they get customers at their local diner and people turn into goop for eating your "chicken"."

## Dr. Charlie Brooks

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from Dr. Charlie Brooks:"Dear fucking god, someone get me out of this hellhole here. Popeye bombed the ship I was in, realized I was a therapist, and kidnapped me. I have been trying to help him and his clan as well as his sons group but no matter what, they won't listen to me. I genuinely believe they are a lost cause.
Someone please save me, I can't stand this for much longer. They ignore everything I recommend or do the opposite of what I say. Help me."

## Patches

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from Patches:"Aye, I can't believe I have to write this out. I tried my best to help me younger brother but he just wouldn't listen. Was I a bad brother? Or perhaps there was no hope for him. I don't know. But when I heard he died, I guess I had a mix of emotions. On one hand, he was my freakin' brother but on the other hand, he was a complete maniac and if it meant to save others, I knew it'd be for the best and cheered for the people who saved their land from him.
Now my Nephew. Bloody goodness my nephew. He is the Sea devil incarnate. He has been obsessed with looking for me and his bloody mother, Olive Oil now legally renamed Olivia when she started her new life for years now. He even broke into my home one time with a creepy, psychotic grin on his face! I kicked him out but I had to run off due to it! Olivia and I are hidden somewhere where they won't find us. At least I hope he doesn't. This family is a mess."

## Brock/Elemental Circus

This is a message from the Shadow Messenger from Brock:"Well, this is a disappointment, isn't it? First your Association of Mages went up in smokes because your former friend got jealous, then he lets a maniac kill your friends and your girlfriend, and now you are demonized as some Fire King. I just use Fire magic as my primary magic, okay? I'll try to explain everything here.
We were a group of Mages who helped teach other magic users. We were no stupid circus and the closest to a "Franky V Shitz" was a student Moe had by the name of Frank. He was a good kid but too bad this tragedy also got him killed. Eegore grew jealous of all of us despite the fact he was getting the same treatment. We usually hung out and discussed magic or trained others magic. It could be because Water is a lesser popular Magic school or it could be because Eegore was power hungry but he seemed jealous of us. I genuinely tried to help him but he would never, ever listen to me.

Then one day this maniac came knocking at our door, asking for "Demons". Well, Eegore knew this maniac and opened the door, allowing him and his psychotic soldiers to barge in and attack us. If Eegore wanted to get rid of us, he mostly succeeded in that. These guys ended up killing my friends and even Nancy, all the while Eegore was laughing in glee. After it, Derek disappeared from us and I don't know if he is still alive.

I never even touched this Popeye Jr. Hell, I didn't even know he was part of the Indigo Syndicate until he sent soldiers after me when I tried to go after him! All I want is to teach him a lesson for everything he did!

I just hope someday people can help me deal with him and avenge everyone I lost on that fateful day."
## Chancellor Election Leaked Conversation

Sadsealbot: INITIATING AUDIO RECOVERY PROTOCLE : P.O.O.P.B.U.T.T.S.H.I.T.

\*bzzt\*

AUDIO RECOVERY SUCCESSFUL.

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B: We need to get Popeye Jr. into the chancellor position soon. In fact, where the fuck is he? He's supposed to be campaigning!
A: Don't look at me, I ain't his babysitter. Eegore is.
C: Popeye Jr... is on a yacht date with Eva. They're on the most expensive Yacht available right now.
B: Are you fucking serious. He could have scheduled it AFTER his speech!
C: Don't yell at me, I'm the messenger here!
D: Boys, boys. While he isn't here for his own campaign, we may as well make good use of this.
A: Oh really then. What do you propose we do while the manchild who is supposed to be campaigning out here is on a date with his bitch of a fiance, eating expensive ass food, drinking expensive ass wine, and on a fucking expensive ass yacht?
D: We can't really kick our election into high gear until Gavin Wildstone is taken care of, you hear me?
B: Right. Even if the election is because Chancellor Gavin is mentally and emotionally unable to lead, he is still technically leader until this whole mess is over.
D: Remember his wife, Dora? Why do you think he's such a miserable, broken man? He loved her with all of his heart and do you know what happened?
C: You had Madame Phoenix poison her meal and she slowly died, right?
D: Correct. And that was enough to make him break down. Old man is miserable, someone should take him out.
A: You aren't suggesting we speed up the elections by assassinating Gavin, are you.
D: What the hell do you think I am suggesting? We bring him to a strip club? Of course we're gonna get him involved in a little "Accident".
A: Why the fuck didn't we kill him alongside his wife then.
D: We thought merely taking out his wife will make him easier to manipulate. It was true for a little while but we didn't take into account us trying to get Popeye Jr. into his seat. And with how slow the elections are, I think speeding things up may make Popeye Jr. take it seriously and us get the results we need.
B: How the hell are we going to get rid of him then?
D: You see, Lazlo sent us a 'friend' of his to take care of him for us. Madame Phoenix is busy, Skullface Jack is hunting down someone, and the others are either busy or too incompetent for this.
C: So who is it, if I may ask?
D: Introduce yourself to us!
The doors slowly opened and then...

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Nikolai: I AM HERE!

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