Blood 9

**Chapter 9**

Richard and his Motley Crew are marching through the streets of Aydindril to the D'Haran command building. Richard is in the middle of the formation, invisible in his Mister cloak, and the crowds of townspeople are screaming and panicking at the sight of four Dominatrices and a Fish. So . . . now, all of a sudden, the Fish is freaking them out? \~/

We learn that the Dominatrices are holding their +5 Riding Crops of Pain as they march, and randomly, Terry Goodkind remembers that they're supposed to inflict unholy agony on anyone who touches them, victim or wielder alike. That's still the stupidest possible design for a weapon I can imagine. \~/ The Dominatrices are stubbornly proud of their ability to endure pain, and refused to surrender their riding crops even when Richard told them to. Richard empathizes with them (wait; Richard understands **empathy?**) and thinks about how the riding crops are similar to the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo (except, you know, that they're not). We learn that Richard *“hated the sword, and wanted to be rid of it,”* which is news to me. It **may** have been mentioned somewhere before, but if so I admit I managed to miss it.

They reach the D'Haran HQ, and there are *“fifty or sixty troops”* milling about in the courtyard, plus six who are on actual door-guard duty. The sixty troops in the courtyard stand and gawk, doing absolutely nothing except stepping back to let four Dominatrices, two Aryan Boys, and a giant flying monster approach their HQ. One of the door guards tries to object, but Egan says *“Make way for the Lord Rahl, you fool!”* and casually slaps him aside. This persuades the other five guards to open the doors and let the highly-aggressive strangers and their pet monster into HQ.

Are guards and soldiers just universally stupid, cowardly and incompetent in Dickland? Because it sure seems that way. \~/

Richard's band bullies their way through the building, pain-ifying a few soldiers along the way with their +5 Riding Crops of Pain, until they reach a large room full of armed men, including officers who are denoted by their scarred arms. Yes, really. General Rei is there as well, distinguishable by his *“curly rust-colored beard,”* facial scar, and heavy eyebrows.

Hally presents Trimack's letter to General Rei, and declares that they Darken Rahl's spirit has been banished by the new Lord Rahl. On this note, Richard appears and declares himself. General Rei burst out laughing, saying that Richard may have convinced Trimack, but that Rei doesn't bow to street-corner magicians.

Richard insists that he's Lord Rahl, but Trimack is having none of it. Hally attacks him with her +5 Riding Crop of Pain, and Rei shouts to *“Kill the frauds!”* Gratch growls and spreads his wings, the D'Harans raise their weapons, and Richard draws the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo, and it looks like a bloodbath is about to erupt.

Suddenly, Misters! Dozens of them! Everywhere! Well, okay, there are only four, but they burst through the windows at the dramatically-appropriate moment and start slashing random people. We get half a page about how Richard is the bringer of death, \~/ how much he wants the Misters (oh really? o\_0) and so forth. He kills three Misters pretty handily (we soon learn that Gratch killed the fourth), then glares at General Rei. This dramatic fight scene has, of course, convinced Rei that Richard is the Master Rahl, because . . . only the Master Rahl could have killed invisible lizardmen? No, wait, it's the MAAAAAAAAGIC!

*“The Seeker's deadly glare met General Reibisch's eyes. Those eyes saw for the first time who stood before him. The magic dancing in Richard's eyes was unmistakable; to see it was to see the sun, to feel its heat, to know it without question.”*

Said magic, I remind you for the umpteenth time, is **pure rage.**

Also, what the firk ding blast does the magic of the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo have to do with the Lord Rahl of D'Hara? Ho does Rei recognize it? Have past rulers of D'Hara ever carried the sword? Enjoy these questions, because they will never be answered. \~/

General Rei drops to his knees and repeats the idiotic prayer/devotion to Rahl, which I am not typing out again. Richard . . . well, I'll just quote it:

*“Richard knew that if he were to try to use the Sword of Truth against [Rei] now, it wouldn't touch his flesh. In his heart, Richard knew that this man was no longer a threat, or his enemy. The sword, unless he turned it white and used the love and forgiveness of the magic, couldn't harm anyone who was not a threat. The wrath, though, responded not to reason, and denying it the attempt was agony.”*

We've seen the “only perception matters” rule repeatedly stomped on, so I'm just taking a drink and moving on. \~/

However, this is as good a time as any to rant about something else that's been bugging me. What, exactly, is the purpose of the White Magic of Lethal Forgiveness? Its only purpose seems to be to get around the sword's normal limitations; i.e., that it cannot harm someone the wielder does not see as a threat. In other words, its only purpose is to harm those who **are no threat.** Call me a wimp, but that sounds like a pretty malevolent enchantment, especially when connected with *“love and forgiveness.”* \~/

Although I find it hilarious that the Ancient Wizards had to use two separate enchantments of Epic Power to give their Awesome Magical Sword the exact same capabilities as a mundane, non-magical sword.

Now, we've seen Richard use the White Magic of Lethal Forgiveness a couple of times, so let's examine those uses. The first time was to kill Denna the Heroic Torturer . . . which still makes no sense for two separate reasons. First, was the White Magic encoded into the sword specifically to counter the ill-explained magic-stealing power of the Dominatrices? I find this hard to believe, especially since it's a pretty stupid defensive mechanism. Seriously, it requires the Seeker to empathize with, and ultimately forgive, his jailer, torturer, and rapist. That doesn't seem like it would happen very often, and in the meantime the Seeker is still utterly at the Dominatrix's mercy. Fail, ancient wizards. \~/

The second reason this makes no sense is that the special power of the Dominatrices is to steal magic that's used on them. Fair enough, but both the White Magic of Forgiveness and the Colorless Magic of Rage come from the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo. Are they really so totally different that capturing one has no effect on the other? Okay, maybe . . . but why can't a Dominatrix just steal the White Magic when it's used on her? It's still hostile magic directed at her, even if it's powered by the Power of Love. \~/

Anyway, the other instance where we've seen the White Magic used was against Liliana the Bad Nun. In that instance, it wasn't a conscious choice on Richard's part; he channeled the magic though instinct and bad writing. I can sorta kinda accept that the White Magic of Love is the counter to Satan's Black Magic of Hate, but again, it's a **terrible** design. It requires the sword-wielder to either empathize with and forgive an agent of Satan who is actively trying to murder him, or take the Richard option and just have it randomly happen due to authorial intervention. Neither seems like a very reliable thing. \~/

Finally, there's yet another implication that using the sword's magic causes pain. This directly contradicts what we were told in Book 1, as well as several other scenes throughout the series where Richard uses Teh Angurz without any issues whatsoever. Bah, consistency. That's for losers and fans of fantasy, and this TOTALLY isn't fantasy. \~/

Anyway . . . it turns out the only people who died were the Misters and one random, nameless D'Haran. Oh, wait; Hally has been slashed! She expires in Richard's arms, but not before saying that, right before it gutted her, she captured the Mister's magic and *“His magic was as yours . . . the gift.”* How she knows this I don't know, since it was **Denna** who captured Richard's magic earlier, but sure, whatever. Oh, and Hally also says that her freedom was worth the price, and commands the other Dominatrices to protect Richard.

General Rei says that Hally will get a proper D'Haran funeral, and Richard says that that's great, but do it after the devotion. We learn that reciting the prayer to Master Rahl once is considered a “reflection,” while a devotion is doing it for two hours, on one's knees, as we saw in Book 1. Richard insists on a full devotion from every D'Haran in the city, implying that this ego-stroking is somehow in honor of Hally. Rei hems and haws and finally says he'll see to it.

I'm going to end this chapter with some praise. Richard reacts to Hally's death with disbelief, nausea, and emotional pain – I find this to be a very believable reaction, especially as he tries to remember her smile but keeps thinking of her horrible death-wound. For a short time, Richard behaves like a real human being, confronted with the ugly reality of a friend's (or at least an ally's) violent demise. Well done.

It won't last, of course.

Drinks: 11

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