Connecticut in the Style of California

*"Needs a slice of pizza on it"*

*--Alex Fischer*

## Eulogy (of Connecticut)

*By Zach Betron*

Connecticut is a state southern New England, bordering Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and New York. It is named after the Connecticut River (go figure), which originates from the Mohegan-Pequot word for "long tidal river."

The Dutch were the first European explorers in Connecticut, before the British took over, spent some time there, then were kicked out by a group of folks who called themselves "The United States of America." During that time span, the British colony of Connecticut developed the first ever written constitution for a government. As such, the state earned its official nickname: the "Constitution State," as now seen on all CT license plates.

If we skip ahead a few years past its rich colonial history, we see how Connecticut rose and fell during the Industrial Revolution, with Bridgeport and New Haven's coastal locations serving as valuable resources during railroad expansion along the East Coast.

Speaking of large East Coast cities, Connecticut's relative proximity to New York City and Boston has led to some interesting economic developments. Of note, southwestern CT has become a hub for hedge funds, and Hartford has developed into the "Insurance Capital of the World." The state is also home to the nation's worst traffic on I-95 and the Merritt Parkway. So that's fun.

There has only been one "Big Four" professional sports team to reside in Connecticut: the Hartford Whalers. They played in a shopping mall, weren't very good, and eventually moved to North Carolina in 1997. The New England Patriots had a deal in place to move the team to West Hartford in the late 1990s, before Bob Kraft got cold feet and backed out of the deal, meaning UConn Football must now use the land reserved for the potential stadium, a mere 45 minutes from their main campus in Storrs.

Professional athletes from Connecticut include Steve Young, Dwight Freeney, Jeff Bagwell, Marcus Camby, Max Pacioretty, and Jonathan Quick. Celebrities from the state include John Mayer, Seth MacFarlane, P.T. Barnum, and John Ratzenberger. In this channel, I know that Yuki, Alex, and myself call the state home (apologies if I missed anyone).

Fun Fact: Connecticut once had land claims stretching as far as the Mississippi River. While most of the state's claim was ceded in 1786, it maintained the Connecticut Western Reserve (in what is now northern Ohio) until 1800. This led to many geographical locations in Ohio having the same names as places in Connecticut - Greenwich, Hartford, New London, New Haven, and Norwalk to name a few. It's also why there is a Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland.

Another fun fact: John Mayer went to my high school and wanted to film the music video to "No Such Thing" there as he "ran through the halls of [his] high school," but the administration wouldn't let him because he talked too much shit in the song. Fuck around and find out I guess.

## Tournament

As the 420 seed, this flag was defeated by Kocani in Round 2 Matchup 79 of FlagVote 3 after previously defeating New England (Australia).

## Results

### FlagVote 3

**Round 1:** Win over (605) New England (Australia) 6-5

**Round 2:** Loss to (93) Kocani 6-4