Harley Quinn & Birds of Prey

***Harley Quinn & Birds of Prey*** is the eleventh installment of *Princess Rap Battes*. It features ex-lover of the Joker, Harley Quinn, rapping about having left the Joker before meeting up with vigilante Huntress and psuedo-hero Black Canary, leading to them all having a one-sided battle against the Gotham City crime lord, Black Mask.

## Cast

### Rappers

* Mary Kate Wiles as Harley Quinn
* Whitney Avalon as Huntress
* SWOOP as Black Canary

### Cameos

* Brandon Firby as Black Mask
* Colton Mastro and Gerardo Vitale as Thugs

## Lyrics

### Prologue

Princess... Rap Battle?

Starring me! Harley Frickin Quinn!

Ain't you the Joker's girl?

Actually, we broke up. It was very mutual, and I am not at all upset!

### Harley Quinn

Come and pay your respects! I am crazy... complex!

Hear how this anarchist protagonist met her villainous ex!

It all started back when I was Doctor Harleen Quinzel,

Arkham's clinical psychologist, the gist is I fell

For a felon, clearly criminally insane,

Then I fell into a vat that changed my skin tone and my name!

I may have lost my mind, but now I'm back on the grind,

This lil' monster's free and she's no longer defined,

As the sidekick or side chick of the rogue that oppressed her!

Harley Queen's holding court and I don't need a jester!

Been through denial, depression, bargaining, and now I'm just pissed,

I'm putting "Do what I wanna" at the top of the list!

I've never been a quitter cause my heart's full of glitter!

No one can stop me! There she is, get her! (Ahh!)

*[Harley is ambushed by two thugs who proceed to get shot by Huntress.]*

### Huntress

Who are you?

Do you know who I am?

I literally just asked, so no.

Oh. Call me Huntress, the daughter who uncannily,

Survived the brutal massacre when mobsters killed my family,

So now I pay respects with every shot that connects,

Badass assassin, putting bolts through their necks!

A smoke show with a crossbow and I constantly embarrass,

These bozos who oppose this secret Bertinelli heiress!

Payback's my motive and my methods are viscious,

Cause these spaghetti-slurping slime balls bout to sleep with the fishes!

I murder mafioso mofos and I'm out for revenge!

See, that kind of moxie means we've gotta be friends!

I don't really have friends. Well, you do now, honey!

Ooh, let's go buy some drinks, bought with someone else's money!

*[Harley and Huntress go to a club owned by Roman Sionis, AKA Black Mask. Black Canary is performing there on stage.]*

### Black Canary

Bartender! A couple shots! Put it on Roman's tab!

Make it three!

Dinah, how you been? Look what the cat dragged in,

I haven't seen you since the split, how you holding up, Quinn?

Fantabulous and fabulous, full steam ahead!

Then it's a cryin shame that my boss wants you dead.

What else is new? Well, without your ex's protection,

He'll peel that pretty face off for his private collection.

Oh, so now you belong to Mr. Roman Sionis?

That spoiled, rich dickhole only wishes he owned this!

Sassy songbird siren stuck here, sitting, waiting my turn,

Thinking someday soon I'll have to wise up, rise up, and burn

This whole crooked, wicked, criminal club to the ground,

I swear on my momma's grave I'm gonna clean up this town!

When this vocalist crescendos, you know that I end foes!

I'm the belting badass bombshell that can shatter glass windows!

I'm tough, but can't make enough change on my own.

I don't see why you should have to do it alone.

Sure, like you'd take my side if I decided to quit.

Yep, and my mobster-killing friend here is fucking legit!

You know, you're the first Soprano I haven't wanted to whack!

I could stand to have a gal like you watching my back!

I swear to Zod, we're three peas in a pod!

A girl gang in Gotham? Can we please form a squad?

Alright, Quinn, I'm in. Sweet, what's the plan?

We send them a message, then stick it to the man!

Oh, you mean Roman? Uh-huh! You got dirt on that jerk?

Years of it. Perfect! This might actually work.

He'll be here soon, there's no time to waste,

Having friends is fun! Let's cut to the chase!

### Birds of Prey

*[Roman enters the club and orders a drink which Dinah gives to him, only for it to be drugged and have him black out. He wakes up with his hands bound and duct tape on his mouth, seeing the Birds of Prey before him.]*

Wake up, Roman! Good morning!

Pay attention, dipshit, this is your only warning!

Oh, why's he look so grumpy? He'd look prettier if he smiled!

Possible personality disorder from being dropped as a child!

If you want him dead, I'll make it look like a hit!

Hell, I'd smoke this schmuck myself, but I've been trying to quit.

No, this'll be a blast! We don't have to hold back,

Just a one-sided battle rap, emancipation diss track!

What an original gangster! Big fan, gotta ask:

Are you the first dude in Gotham to hide behind a Black Mask?

Consider this my resignation, I'm done working for freaks,

You don't get two weeks, y'all can kiss both cheeks!

And put a leash on Zsasz, that little scarred up spaz!

That sycophant sadist is really all that he has!

You're a self-obsessed narcissist, a thin-skinned goon,

Who went bankrupt while choking on daddy's silver spoon!

Here's the message, Sionis, let us be perfectly clear:

Stay out of our way, or you might disappear!

I'm Harley Frickin' Quinn! With a brand new crew!

Leavin clowns in the dust and the joke's on you!

I'm crazier and fearless, and I goddamn guarantee,

All of Gotham's scared of you when they should be scared of me!

*[The Birds of Prey leave Roman tied up as well as leaving evidence against him as Black Mask for the police to arrest him.]*

### Epilogue

*[The Birds of Prey leave the club, walking down an alleyway.]*

So, now what?

Wanna go see a movie?

## Trivia

### General

* This battle was sponsored by Warner Bros. in conjuction with the film, *Birds of Prey: The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn*.
* This is the first purposefully one-sided rap battle.
* This is the second rap battle to have all of its characters come from the same fictional universe, after *Freya vs Ravenna*.

### Errors

* The subtitles spell "Quinzel" as "Quinzell."