Ryan

Ryan is the second oldest member of WRAL and hands down the stupidest.

Ryan has an extremely active imagination that has caused problems for everyone numerous times.

He developed his own Martial art called Ryjitsu and has added a lightsaber fighting branch and a sword fighting branch to it. He also learned to cowboy spin guns.

He is also obsessed with his cat.

It is reasonable to infer that Ryan is actually insane based on numerous occasions where he has hallucinated people who are not there, heard voices in his head or believed that evil Transformers are in fact real.

## 2016

### Christmas 2016

Ryan was present with the rest of WRAL the first time Santa Claus attacked and took them to his labor camp.

Ryan at the time had not developed Ryjitsu and was quickly taken by Santa Claus.

He appeared at Santa's labor camp with the rest of WRAL and commented about the orcs and bad working conditions.

## 2017

### Fidget Spinner Intervention

> "You do know that's a fidget dealer right?"
>
>

Ryan, being the idiot kind of friend that he is, hid in the trunk of William's car when Luke went to meet the fidget dealer.

He assaulted the fidget dealer and got Luke's money back and went to take the fidget spinner away from Luke. After taking it, Ryan hurled the fidget spinner into the sky causing Luke to become angry and attack him.

### The Couch Potato

Ryan was saved from being a couch potato by William and helped lead the fight against The Living Couch Potato.

He wielded a piece of PVC pipe wrapped in duct tape against the couch potato and almost skewered Luke with it. He later claimed he'd never tried to even defeat a dead couch potato, and had no idea how to defeat a living one.

### Speedster Juice

> "It's... Speedster juice."
>
>

Ryan holds blue water while talking to Luke.

Ryan convinced Luke that a bottle of blue water was speedster juice while watching a game of base-foot-golf ball (a sport that he contrived).

Luke found Ryan in the midst of shouting at the players holding a bottle of blue water. It is unclear why he even had such a thing, but Luke immediately became enthralled with it and demanded to know what it was.

Ryan told him it was speedster juice but refused to give him any until Luke distracted him with a baseball that had his name on it.

Luke grabbed the juice and took a big swig and Ryan helped spur on the illusion by freezing himself in place, allowing Luke to believe he had speedster powers.

Later, Luke returned to confront Ryan on the faulty speedster juice. He found him shouting at the players still, despite the fact the game had been over for some time. When Luke informed him of this, he seemed quite surprised and continued musing that he would be a better coach than the coach who was coaching.

### Ryan's Star Wars Quest

> "I found a lightsaber in a shoebox and a mysterious voice told me, it's name is destiny."
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>

Ryan, wielding his toy lightsaber, and Luke, brandishing two ryjitsu poles, prepare to fight the Nameless Trooper Boss

Ryan heard a voice in his "mind closet" tell him to take a lightsaber from a shoebox and believed it was real. To complicate matters, he received a phone shipped in the mail and concluded that he needed to destroy the illuminati.

Ryan convinced Luke to help him and the pair set off on a long walk hoping to find the illuminati. All they found was a Nameless Trooper base, which they broke into. Ryan ordered a missile strike on the Nameless Trooper base. (How he knew how to do this is unclear).

Ryan fought the Nameless trooper boss (and lost) but fortunately, Luke impaled him with a ryjitsu pole. The pair escaped the base as missiles blew it up.

When they told William the story, he didn't believe them. It is unclear how much of the story is true, how much was contrived by Ryan's imagination, and how much was just made up.

### Christmas 2017

> "If Santa's coming, the bottom floor would be safest."
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Ryan about to be grabbed by Santa

When Christmas rolled around, Ryan along with the rest of WRAL had apparently forgot about how bad Santa was, and that he would kidnap them and send them to his labor camp.

He was taken by surprise just like the others when Eli appeared and told them Santa was coming. He waited with the others for Santa to appear and ran up the stairs to escape after Eli was taken.

Ryan was the last one taken by Santa and looked him right in the eye before being taken.

## 2018

### Ryan's Split Personality

Ryan played a nerd game by himself and ended up in a heated debate with only himself. He seemed to have a severe split personality as he was actually losing the game against himself, meaning he and his split personality were not equally skilled players.

### Ryan Goes Shopping

> "But this is in our budget!"
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>

Adam tells Ryan only to get one thing.

Adam took Ryan and Luke shopping and gave them each an assignment. Adam told Ryan to get the trike and nothing else. Ryan acted as if he understood but was quickly sidetracked by all the interesting things in the store.

Curiously, a ghostly apparition of Adam appeared to remind him only to get one thing. It is unclear whether the apparition was some mystical power of Adam's or whether it was a figment of Ryan's imagination but most scholars suspect the latter.

The apparition did lead Ryan to buy the correct item and nothing else.

He later told Adam that it required "a lot of mental energy."

### The Rice Sack

Ryan found that Luke had broken his rice sack and informed him that the penalty for breaking the rice sack is eating the rice. Ryan force fed Luke some rice, cautioning him to not ever break it again.

### Firewall

Ryan became obsessed with finding the movie Firewall and went in search of it. Though he never found it, he and Adam realized that there was Amazon. So they bought it on Amazon.

### AR VR

Ryan was in the van where Luke stole candy from. Thinking he was part of the Virtual Reality, Luke slapped him.

#### At The Library

At some point after being slapped, Ryan went to the library but found it closed, foreshadowing his plan to form a crew there at a later date.

### The Decepticon Invasion

> "It's the Decepticons! They're stalking me!"
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>

After seeing the Decepticon insignia on multiple cars at the cheesecake factory, Ryan became convinced that Decepticons were stalking him. This came to a climax when he thought one had followed him to McCormick park, where Luke was chilling on the swing.

Ryan sees what he believes to be a Decepticon while Luke chuckles to himself.

Ryan called Luke over and explained the situation. Luke found it extremely amusing and resolved to prank Ryan by pasting Decepticon stickers all over a car ('cause he just happened to have some on him).

When Luke and Ryan rendezvoused at the parking lot, Ryan laid out his plan to escape, along with the claim that "Decepticons can't see trees" which is not supported in transformers lore, or in real life so there's no clear explanation how he came up with that idea.

Luke led Ryan into the parking lot where Ryan saw William's car covered in Decepticon insignias. Ryan rushed to his van and retrieved his toy lightsaber, which he then used to destroy the car. He stashed the weapon in his pocket claiming "Chuck Norris would have been so proud."

He never found out that it was in fact not a real Decepticon he had killed.

### Video Games

Ryan was present when Luke flew off the handle while playing a video game.

### Ryan Rescues Luke

Ryan in a fight stance

Ryan intervened when Eli, Adam, William, Lucas McKellen, Nick and Domanik were beating up Luke for being a moron.

Ryan leaped down from a fence and beat up Nick, Lucas McKellen, Adam, Domanik and Eli.

### Ryan Ocean's Crew

> "And I'm Ryan Ocean."
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>

After watching Ocean's 11, Ryan decided he wanted to create a crew of his own and got some friends together to... Do nobody knows what.

Ryan brandishes a real lightsaber as he prepares to battle Supreme Santa.

Ryan convinced Luke to join the crew and together they marched off to William's car to find him. Ryan tracked William to Taco Bell, citing that William will always be at Taco Bell at happy hour.

They went to Taco Bell and recruited William.

They then went to Rhianna's house to try and recruit her, offering her a half-drank freeze at payment. She eventually agreed to join the crew and donned shades like the rest of them.

Later, Luke and Ryan discussed the crew on the sidewalk.

### Christmas 2018

> "Do not investigate! He's investigating..."
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>

On Christmas Eve 2018, William, Ryan, Adam and Luke were hard at work preparing for Santa's arrival. They were not taken by surprise that year.

Ryan was seen duct taping a machine gun to the banister of the stairs. He later was seen checking (and cowboy spinning) his pistol before all four of them gathered in the living room.

When Adam was taken, Ryan opened fire on Santa prompting William and Luke to do the same.

Ryan talking to Luke about his crew.

They ran up the stairs and became separated leaving Ryan alone on the stairs. He caught a glimpse of Santa just as he was about to take William.

Ryan was later seen sneaking down the hallway until he bumped into Luke. He and Luke agreed they needed to escape and Ryan suggested climbing out the window. He opened the window and began climbing out until Luke saw Santa and fired his machine gun, startling Ryan and causing him to topple out the window.

He rolled to his feet and came face to face with Supreme Santa. He drew a real lightsaber and activated it. (At some point between The Decepticon Invasion and Christmas 2018 Ryan acquired a real lightsaber.) Ryan battled Supreme Santa and defeated him with a Ryjitsu trip move.

When Supreme Santa's beard came off however, it appeared to be Adam. Ryan lowered his guard in confusion, allowing the real Santa to tackle him.

## 2019

### Drama on 209th

Ryan and Luke watch the drama unfold

Ryan was seen eight months after Santa took them to the North Pole.

He and Luke watched the Drama on 209th unfold. Ryan incorrectly identified Nick and Cole as gay. And stupidly pointed out the flowers.

He was seen briefly in the driver's seat of William's car when Nick shouted the now infamous line "I hate you!"

### The Witch's Castle

> "Terrible things happen on Halloween. Terrible things."
>
>

On Halloween, Ryan and Luke were seen walking through the woods to the wizard's house.

As they walked, Ryan admitted that he did not like Halloween, stating that he and Halloween were not speaking, confusing Luke.

The pair accidentally wandered into The Witch's Castle. Upon realizing where they were, Ryan began to panic saying that The Witch's Castle was bad. Before Luke could inquire further, they heard the sound of Smokeys coming up the path.

Ryan stands opposite The Witch and Luke whilst holding a lightsaber.

Surrounded, Ryan told Luke to get behind him and drew his lightsaber. As the Smokeys rushed forward, Ryan hacked them to dust with his lightsaber. Meanwhile, The Witch grabbed Luke forcing Ryan to run up the stairs and enter the castle to engage her in battle.

The Witch released Luke and with a loud squawk Ryan leaped into the air and attacked. Ryan battled The Witch for a short time before being kicked down.

Slowly getting to his feet, Ryan realized that the pumpkin was missing. He looked behind The Witch just in time to see Luke standing over her holding the pumpkin. As The Witch realized what was happening, Luke smacked her with the pumpkin crushing her head, and killing her. The Witch slain, Ryan and Luke left the castle.

Ryan was later seen remarking that these events were why he hated halloween.

## Powers and Abilities

### Weapons

Ryan has shown himself capable of wielding a wide variety of weapons including toy lightsabers, real lightsabers, pvc pipes wrapped in duct tape, laser guns, real guns and swords.

### Powers

Ryan has no super powers but he considers his Ryjitsu mastery to be one.

## Triva

Ryan absolutely adores cats because he's not an evil soulless demon.

Ryan prefers to wear either his black jacket or his Martinez Mariners Jersey.