Miss Mush

*For information on this character in the cartoon, see Miss Mush (cartoon).*

 — Narration in "Jason"

* Heitz
* McCauley
* Schick
* Brinckloe
* Hockerman

**Miss Mush** is a character in the *Wayside School* books. She is the lunch teacher at Wayside School, and serves food at the cafeteria on the fifteenth story.

## Appearance

In "Lunch," Miss Mush is described as being very tall, at six feet, two inches, which is the only reason she was hired as a chef at Wayside School. Her arms, to the end of her fingernails, are two feet, nine inches long, and her fingernails are each three inches long. She is also described to have long legs and long toenails, though how long they are isn't specified, though it is mentioned her toenails are so long, they poke out of her shoes. She supposedly has a big head, which is why she can't reach the top of the tetherball pole. In "Mush," she is described to wear an apron. In "Nose," her voice is described as sounding like "two boots sloshing through mud".

## Personality

In the books, Miss Mush is someone who cares very much for the students of Wayside School, noting in "Mush" that she knows the name of every student, and in "Nose" it may even extend to knowing their personalities, as she figures Mr. Gorf is taking everyone's voices when she hears Kathy's voice saying "Have a nice day." She usually holds an upbeat and friendly demeanor near the students, and near new people as well, as seen when she is first talking to Mr. Gorf in "Voices." Miss Mush is often willing to help out students when they need her assistance, as seen in "Lunch," when Rondi needs her help after her shoe gets stuck at the top of the tetherball pole. Miss Mush appears to be somewhat oblivious to the disgust others express towards her meals, as in "Mush" it is mentioned that she's "glad to see how much the children like her food."

Miss Mush is known to be a terrible chef, as seen throughout the series. "Jason" remarks she has the remarkable ability to both overcook and undercook a meal at the same time, and that her specialty is a bowl of mud she calls "porridge." However, when Ron eats her Mushroom Surprise in "Mush," he remarks it doesn't taste too bad, despite its strange effects, and in "Another Story About Potatoes," Joe and John seem to enjoy the taste of her potato salad. Miss Mush, however, still does seem to have questionable culinary tastes, as she remarks Mr. Gorf's nose would taste good in spaghetti sauce in "Nose," and it's possible she may have some self-awareness of how bad her food tastes, as in "Lunch," she is glad to get out of the kitchen because it smells funny.

Despite this, however, Miss Mush is passionate about the food she makes, as seen in "Rainbow," where she heavily focuses on selecting the right ingredients for her rainbow stew after the Cloud of Doom passes, and gets nervous when it doesn't end up looking the way she expected it to. However, when the students turn out to like it, she silently cries tears of joy, having gotten what she wanted. In "Lunch," it is remarked that she is actually an excellent chef, but has difficulty cooking for lots of people, and that because she has to cook for everyone at Wayside School, her meals end up tasting terrible. Miss Mush apparently enjoys a good laugh sometimes, as occasionally she'll play jokes on her assistant Mr. Pepperadder, due to how much shorter he is. In "The Ultimate, Ultimate Test," her questions tend towards a culinary theme, including the number of points on a fork and Christopher Columbus's favorite vegetable.

## Known Dishes

* **Porridge** - Really a hot bowl of mud
* **Cold soups**
* **Milk** - The only thing Miss Mush didn't know how to ruin, includes chocolate milk
* **Tuna Surprise**
* **Mushroom Surprise** - In the books, it was never made again after "Mush"
* **Potato Salad**
* **Nothing**
* **Baked liver in purple sauce** - Made in "Wayside School Is Falling Down" but was the lunch in "A Message from the Principal" after two hundred and forty-three days
* **Baloneos**
* **Pepper Pie**
* **Mr. Gorf's nose in spaghetti sauce**
* **Cookies** - Mrs. Drazil made sixty of them with a recipe she modified
* **Macaroons and cheese**
* **Spaghetti and feetballs** - Meatballs shaped like feet
* **Rainbow stew**
* **Baloney Surprise** (cartoon only) - Mushrooms are used instead of baloney

## Relationships

### Students

In the books, Miss Mush seems to like the children at Wayside School, as first seen in "Lunch," where she tries to help Rondi get her shoe off the tetherball pole. In "Mush," she smiles thinking about how much the children like her food, though it seems she is unaware of the fact hardly anyone is even eating it. However, in "Rainbow" she is shown to have some level of awareness the kids don't like her food and is overjoyed when they enjoy her rainbow stew for a change. In "Nose," upon realizing Mr. Gorf's scheme, slams a pepper pie in his face to restore the voices to the children. It's unknown if this feeling is mutual, as Rondi implies she doesn't think Miss Mush is cute in "Teeth," though Allison is willing to give her a tangerine, because she's always giving food to the students.

### Mr. Pepperadder

Miss Mush often likes pulling tricks on her assistant Mr. Pepperadder, because he is shorter than her. She occasionally will ask him to reach for an ingredient he can not reach, and often Mr. Pepperadder laughs along, partially because he's a good sport, and partially because Miss Mush is his boss. It seems Miss Mush mostly pulls these tricks in good spirit, and the two are seen eating the leftovers of their cooking together in "Lunch," which there is always plenty of. In *Wayside School Beneath the Cloud of Doom*, Mr. Pepperadder is frequently seen alongside Miss Mush, assisting her in chapters like "The Unbreakables" and "Jump Rope Arithmetic." He gets a major role in "Rainbow," where he helps Miss Mush select ingredients for her rainbow stew, and additionally helps to assure that the kids will like her food, even if she has doubts.

### Louis

Louis is one of the few people willing to eat Miss Mush's food on a regular basis in the books. In "Louis," he claims her Tuna Surprise isn't too bad, and in "A Package for Mrs. Jewls," he is excited to try the Mushroom Surprise. By "Mush," it's revealed he would eat the Mushroom Surprise on a regular basis, until Mrs. Jewls stopped her from making any more. In "Teeth," Rondi states that Louis thinks everyone is cute, and finds it outstanding that he even feels that way about Miss Mush. Miss Mush is never seen interacting with Louis too much, but Louis seems to hold appreciation towards her.

### Mr. Gorf

When Miss Mush first meets Mr. Gorf in "Voices," she is excited to meet him, happily greeting him and the students. It is possible she even had a crush on him, as she asks if Mr. Gorf is married, and starts flirting with him, and thinks it's nice when she hears Allison's voice saying Mr. Gorf is going to take them on a field trip. However, upon hearing Kathy's voice telling her to "have a nice day," Miss Mush quickly realizes Mr. Gorf is actually a mean teacher that sucks voices through his nostril, and bakes a pepper pie to stop him. She then takes his nose, and intends to put it in spaghetti sauce.

## Appearances

For a list of every chapter Miss Mush is seen in, see here.

## Trivia

* Miss Mush is the only major character introduced in *Sideways Stories from Wayside School* not to get a chapter to herself at any point in the book.
* Miss Mush is not married, as revealed in "Voices," though her title of "Miss" may be a giveaway.
* Miss Mush is currently the final character to appear in the *Wayside School* books, and the series as a whole.

### Other designs

Peter Allen design (British edition, 2004)Miss Mush as she appears in the cartoon. (2005)Satoshi Kitamura design (Japanese edition, 2010)