Episode 2: Flowers for Chapman

## Synopsis

Rudyard fights back through sinister sabotage and the power of the Piffling press.

## Characters

* Rudyard Funn
* Antigone Funn
* Eric Chapman
* Georgie Crusoe
* Madeleine
* Nigel Wavering
* Petunia Bloom
* Sid Marlowe
* Jerry
* Tanya

## Plot

A week after the events of episode 1, Funn Funerals is struggling to get business with Chapman’s thriving in comparison. Another funeral has been canceled at Funn Funerals, and the trio are thinking of what to do next. Rudyard realizes that they will just have to go all out for the remaining funeral they have and tells Georgie to get cheap lilies. To which Georgie informs him that that will not be possible because Eric Chapman has been buying up the entire supply of flowers everyday. In an attempt to find a solution to the Eric situation, Rudyard and company(excluding Madeline) play a game of Boggle. After announcing their lists, Ruyard comes to teh conclusion that the source of Chapman’s popularity is his publicity. To combat this Rudyard decides that he will get an ad in the newspaper and Antigone volunteers to get flowers next morning to see what Chapman is up to.

The next morning Antigone gets in her all-over outdoor suit, so she can go outside without her allergies acting up. She makes her way to the marketplace while muttering to herself about her crush on Chapman. When she arrives, Petunia Bloom is advertising her flowers. The two have a conversation where it is revealed that Chapman has once again bought up all the flowers, despite Petunia continuing to advertise. Eric Chapman then arrives at the flower stand and Antigone goes to hide in the flowers. Chapman states that this will be his last order of flowers and gets hit on by Mrs.Bloom. Antigone then joins the conversation momentarily startling Chapman. He then recognizes the pollen helmet that she is wearing because he too used to suffer from pollen allergies He gives her an antihistamine which allows her to take the helmet off. They have a tense conversation about Antigone’s unique scented embalming fluids and Eric invites her to coffee to discuss “the business”. Before Antigone's could agree, Georgie informs her that Rudyard miscalibrated the formaldehyde pumps, flooding the mortuary, and causing bodies to float around. Georgie and Eric have a brief conversation about her moped and the two Funn Funeral members drive off to the mortuary to fix the disaster that Ruyard has created.

At Funn Funerals, the group is trying to stop the flooding. Rudyard explains that he was trying to embalm the body of Mrs.Coddrington himself because her brother had just come in while Antigone was out. The body of Mrs.Coddrington then blocks the drainage pipe, which prompts Rudyard to switch his focus back on to his plan. After finding out that Antigone did not find out why Chapman was getting the flowers, Rudyard complains about the gardenias that Antigone did get and heads off to get his ad, ignoring Georgie’s warning about his clothes.
Rudyard made his way to Sidney Marlow, the writer for Piffling’s newspaper Piffling Matters. Rudyard asks for a full page ad to which SIdney responds that it will cost him 500 pounds. Rudyard begrudgingly writes the check and makes his way back to Funn Funerals. On the way back he runs into Chapman. Rudyard makes some vague comments about Chapman's downfall while Chapman repeatedly tries to ask him about Georgie. Chapman asks about Rudyard’s melting pants and Rudyard tells him that all business on Piffling is conducted in grey flannel shorts.

The next day Rudyard is asleep by the door waiting for the newspaper to come. A phone call from Marlowe telling him that he is refunding them 400 pounds. The newspaper comes and it is revealed that the advert is not on the front page, but rather Chapman is. Chapman had put a bouquet of flowers, which he had bought from Mrs.Bloom, on every grave in Piffling. The Funn Funeral advert has been stuck on a small part of page 13. It had been shorten from “Funn Funerals, why bother with anyone else?” to “Funn Funerals, why bother”. The newspaper also mentions that the next customer of Chapman’s will receive a complimentary word wreath, which once again inspires Rudyard. He plans to scramble the word wreaths at the funeral. At the funeral, Rudyard has invited Sidney Marlowe to publicize the sabotaged funeral. The first two word wreaths were accurately changed, but the last wreath implicated Rudyard as the perpetrator of the incident. This leads Marlowe and other attendees of the funeral to turn on Rudyard and begin attacking him.