Daniel Stattler

**Daniel Stattler** is a character featured in the game *Do Not Feed the Monkeys*.

## Background

Daniel Stattler is an elderly retiree living alone at 45 Sunny Side Street. He is signed up on the Smiles for Seniors program and visitited by a volunteer twice a day to check up on his well-being and provide him with company. Mr. Stattler often talks about his depressed state and how much he misses the "good old days", saying that people back then used to have values and ideals. Whenever the volunteer mentions that the past was filled with wars or brings up his foreign accent, he becomes defensive and asks her to leave so he can take his blood pressure or icontinence medicine. Outside of this, Mr. Stattler claims to be a simple "grateful and generous old man", who was born and raised in "this country" and used to be a full-time kitten caretaker, taking after his parents who ran a hippie commune.

In the evenings, he enjoys watching old war documentaries on VHS, during which he reminisce about the past, comment on the "bloodthirsty leader"'s impeccable bangs and mustache and spontaneously breaks out into racial rhetoric.

## Interactions

It can be deduced through his dialogue and internet research that Daniel Stattler was formerly known as **August Henkel**, the crazed ex-dictator of Freedonia, who launched an invasion of neighboring nations and threw the continent into turmoil, during which 40 millions died. An artist and vegetarian in his free time, Henkel disappeared from his bunker at the end of the war 60 years ago. His address and full name can be retrieved from the Smiles for Seniors hotline, which allows one to get his telephone number. "Mr. Stattler" can then be called, either by his taken name or as August Henkel. As Daniel Stattler, he will provide a more elaborate backstory to his suspiciously uneventful, peaceful and pacifist life, while if addressed as August Henkel, he will deny knowing anyone by that name, but be cautiously interested in what the caller had to tell Henkel "if he were here". The player may go about this one of two ways.

Saying that "The past was horrible!" will make Henkel upset, telling you that you have "veary heart of old man is broken now " and that he is going off to cry about your words. He returns later, dressed up with a travel suitcase, and call you, saying that he is now fearful due to your accusastions and is going to flee for a second time. This choice raises the player's moral.

Saying that "The past was great!" will cause Henkel to once again think about his past as a "violent and bloodthirsty demi-god" and lead him to thank the player who reminding him who he was. Henkel will then state that he still has friends in powerful places and is going to see them to see whether he could "conquer the world once more" and leave to plan a second war of aggression. He returns around a day later, dressed up with a travel suitcase and call the player again, telling you that he'll leave some months to "rebuild glory of Freeedonian empire" and says his goodbyes, or rather "Auf Wiedersehen". He will then sent you some Freedonian Souvenirs worth $190 as thanks.

There is one special option if you conclude that Mr. Stattler is simply an enjoyer of war movies, after which one may call and ask him about that, inadvertently revealing that you have been monitoring him. He will call you a "Freedonian spy" and leave without further interaction, gaining you a strike with The Primate Observation Club for risking exposure.