The Potato Farm

The Commander totally needs a new shirt.

## Transcript

(Open to Space Tree with a potato sculpture, Commander enters on a skateboard with a soiled shirt.)

**Commander:** Space Tree, can I have some money to buy a new shirt? Allon spilled a cafè latte all over mine.

**Space Tree:** *(Space Tree shoves the sculpture off the table.)* Oh really, because I happen to know for a fact that Allon is allergic to coffee so he would never touch the stuff.

**Commander:** Oh, he is not.

**Space Tree:** Oh yes he is! And I'll prove it!

*(Scene Transition to Allon, stacking blocks which read IAMSOGODDAMNFAT.)*

**Space Tree:** Allon, eat this coffee. *(Space Tree offers Allon a spoon of coffee.)*

**Allon:** Uh, I can't do that Space Tree, I'm allergic.

**Space Tree:** I SAID EAT! *(Space Tree shoves the coffee forcefully to Allon.)*

**Allon:** Even if I wasn't allergic it'd still be pretty gross.

**Space Tree:** Allon, don't make me get the gun.

**Allon:** Fine! I guess it's not that much anyway. I'll just put it in my mouth. *(Space Tree grins and is wearing sunglasses. Allon eats the spoon of coffee. )*

**Commander:** See, he's fine.

**Allon:** *(Turning blue, gasping)* I can't breathe! Ack!

**Space Tree:** There, I told you.

**Commander:** Ok, you win. Here's your 10 bucks. *(Holds up blue paper marked '5'.)*

**Space Tree:** Uh, no, I was just trying to prove that you spilled the coffee on yourself.

**Commander:** Oh right, well La De Da. So can I have some money?

**Space Tree:** Ok, here's 50 space dollars. I'm sick of looking at that stupid exclamation mark shirt anyway. *(Commander grabs money with his teeth, then seen holding the burning money.)* You're like 'Oh look at me, I'm excited about my shirt.'

**Commander:** Thanks Space Tree! I'll see you later.

**Space Tree:** And you better actually spend that money on a new shirt, or I'm gonna... kick you.

**Commander:** I will!

**Space Tree:** And another thing, don't buy women's clothes.

**Commander:** *(Now standing by the door, sharply)* Space Tree! What the hell do you think I am! Gee.

**Space Tree:** Oh, I know what you are.

**Allon:** *(Has a coughing fit, then sighs and examines his regurgitation)* Hey, look at that. It wasn't really an allergic reaction, I just had a potato caught in my throat. Ha.

*(A tone plays and the screen fades to a new scene. An old man in a potato mobile is seen hovering next to Space Tree and Allon before almost immediately another tone plays and we see Commander entering the ship with a clean shirt, the dot from his exclamation point is removed.)*

**Commander:** Hey everyone, check out my new shirt.

**Mee:** Hey man. I see you got the lowercase 'l' brand. Nice.

**Commander:** Yep.

**Space Tree:** "Lowercase 'l' brand"? Looks a lot like you removed the dot from your regular shirt.

**Commander:** Yeah, well you would say that Space Tree. Because you don't know anything about fashion.

**Mee:** Yeah, you don't even wear clothes, you naked son-of-a-bitch.

**Space Tree:** Hey I could wear clothes if I wanted to. But I'd rather spend my money on useful items.

**Mee:** Like what? Potatoes?

**Principal:** *(Gliding in from the side semi-transparently, voice echoes)* Po-ta-toes...

**Space Tree:** So I like potatoes, what's the big deal?

**Commander:** Well, if you like potatoes so much, maybe you should go make out with a potato.

**Mee:** Yeah.

**Space Tree:** Oh really, well, is your mother a potato? Heh. (He smiles, the sunglasses materialize onto his face.)

**Commander:** Well, she was up until she died.

**Space Tree:** Oh. Sorry. (The sunglasses fade away.)

**Commander:** Just kidding. She was hit by a bus.

**Mee:** Wait, are you saying you'd make out with his mom if she was a potato? Because that doesn't really make sense.

**Principal:** *(Semi-Transparent, echoing, as before)* Making out with a po-ta-to...

**Space Tree:** So I wanna make out with a potato, what's the big deal. *(Mee walks off)*

**Commander:** You're weird, Space Tree. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go put on this dress I bought. *(Holds up pink dress, walks off.)*

*(The old man we saw earlier floats in from the right. He has grey-green hair and 3 sharp teeth. He is holding a steering wheel and is floating in a small craft labelled "POTATE, OH!")*

**Potato Farmer:** Hello there Space Tree, I'm an old potato farmer. I was just passing through with my potato mobile and I heard all this talk about potatoes. So if you like potatoes you should come to my potato farm, today.

**Space Tree:** That's the best idea I ever heard. To the potato farm!

**Principal:** (Semi-Transparent, echoing, as before) Let's all go to the potato.

**Principal:** (Semi-Transparent, echoing, as before) ... Farm.

*(Space Tree is suddenly on a carrot farm.)*

**Space Tree:** Hey wait a minute, this isn't a potato farm, this is a carrot farm.

**3 Carrots:** *(Popping out of the ground, hovering)* Join us, Space Tree.

**Narrator:** Should Space Tree join them? Make your decision. *(The screen fades to black. "SHOULD SPACE TREE JOIN THEM??? It's entirely up to you. The words 'Yes', 'No', & 'No Way' are displayed. Hovering your mouse cursor over the words causes a 'pop' sound to play.)*

### If you select "Yes"

**Space Tree:** Ok, I'm in.

**Middle Carrot:** Glad to have you aboard, Space Tree. Now here's the plan for killing all the potatoes. *(He grows arms)*

**Space Tree:** Killing? I'm not killing any potatoes, that's crazy.

**Middle Carrot:** I'll show you crazy! Yah! *(He stabs Space Tree in the trunk, with a knife.)*

**Space Tree:** This was the unkindest cut of all.

(THE END. The words 'replay' & 'menu' appear on screen.)

### If you select "No"

**Space Tree:** Uh, no thanks, I don't really want to join you.

**Middle Carrot:** Well then, Space Tree...you pass the test! I award you this tiara. (An orange arm places the tiara on Space Tree.

**Space Tree:** Lord, what fools these mortals be.

**Middle Carrot:** Well, same to you.

(THE END. The words 'replay' & 'menu' appear on screen.)

### If you select "No Way"

**Space Tree:** No friggin' way.

**Middle Carrot:** Hey, a simple 'no' would have sufficed, Space Tree...or should I say, Jerk Tree. Because you're such a tree, and you know what else? Take a look at this. Yah! *(He stabs Space Tree in the trunk, with a knife.)*

**Space Tree:** Is this a dagger which I see before me?

**Middle Carrot:** Yes!

(THE END. The words 'replay' & 'menu' appear on screen.)

## Easter Eggs

* After Allon eats the coffee, move the mouse cursor over the Commander's shirt to change it to the "Just Fine" shirt from I'm Gonna Kill You in the Space.
* Below the 'menu' button at the end screen, there is a third hidden button named "Join Us." Click on it to go back to the multiple endings choosing screen.

## Fun Facts

* A cafè latte is an espresso combined with an unjust amount of foamy steamed milk, usually served in a tall glass mug.
* This episode was previously named "Seriouser Kidnapping" before it was changed to its current title.
* The word "potato" is used 18 times in this episode, 20 if you choose the "Yes" option at the end.
* The page title "l" refers to the Commander's new shirt.
* When you view the Flash file after Allon eats the coffee, you can see a sign with the words "Do It Man!" that's next to the Commander and a drawing of Space Tree. Also, the drawing looks similar to the one found in Space Slave.
* When Mee comments on the Commander's "new" shirt, if you watch the Flash file vertically, you can see the Commander's face has been replaced with the words "No Face."
* Space Tree has been stabbed before in Ash Hole, but in that case it was the Commander who did it and he used a pen.
* The way the Commander rides in on the skateboard suggests that he skates goofy

## References

* The object on the table that Space Tree is using a fork on is a reproduction of the potato sculpture that Space Tree made in Milkshake Tickets, which was squashed by a tin can phone.
* The discussion about the Commander wearing women's clothes and Space Tree saying 'I know what you are' is a reference to Space Slave.
* The tiara that the main carrot gives to Space Tree is from The Crown.
* Space Tree makes a reference to one of Shakespeare's plays in each multiple choice ending:
	+ For 'YES' - **This was the unkindest cut of all.** This quote is from Julius Caesar.
	+ For 'NO' - **Lord, what fools these mortals be!** This quote is from A Midsummer Night's Dream.
	+ For 'NO WAY' - **Is this a dagger which I see before me?** This quote is from Macbeth.