The Riddle of the Sphinx

The Riddle of the Sphinx is the third episode of the third series of Inside No. 9.

## The Riddle of the Sphinx

### Produced By

Adam Tandy (producer)Jon Plowman (executive producer)

On a stormy night, Nina lets herself in to a University of Cambridge room, where she is found by Professor Nigel Squires. He is holding a gun, but it is not loaded. Nina's boyfriend Simon is a fan of cryptic crosswords, but she is never able to help him. She has come to the rooms of Squires—a classicist who sets crosswords for *Varsity* as *the Sphinx*—to seek the answers to the next day's crossword. Squires sets about to teach Nina: "I teach wild creature without hospital building" results in *ARCHITECTURE*, which Simon studies. They turn to the clues for the next day, beginning to fill a large grid. Squires uses the name of the Sphinx because she would asphyxiate and consume those who failed to answer her riddle: she was, he says, "devious and deadly". Squires makes tea, as Nina looks to his trophies. A picture of Squires with his late wife draws her attention, and they discuss the cut-throat world of competitive crosswording. Nina has answered *DOWNANDOUT* and *WRAP*; Squires answers *DESI* and helps with *TRENT*. Squires asks about Simon, but catches Nina in a lie; her excuse is that she only wants to learn. Together, they deduce *SWAMPLANDS*, meaning "bog". Nina, though, suggests that it should be *bogs*, otherwise Squires would be cheating. Suddenly spluttering, Squires takes a seat, as Nina begins on the next clue. She now displays clear proficiency, answering *ASPHYXIATION*.

Squires drops his cup, as Nina continues to fill in the crossword, including *SOWERBERRY* and *KNOWITALL*. Squires is apparently paralysed in his chair, watching. Nina is a marine biologist, and has acquired tetrodotoxin from a pufferfish, which causes paralysis and asphyxiation. Simon was actually Nina's brother, and is visible on the photo of Squires and his wife. Simon had reached a crosswording final only to be beaten by Squires after the latter challenged that a *u* looked more like a *v*. Depressed by the defeat, Simon had killed himself. Squires, to Nina's shock, is unharmed. He leaps up to fill out *NEUN* and *ASPS*, revealing the nina *ISWAPPEDCUPS* within the crossword. As Nina induces vomiting, Squires makes a phone call. He had been warned by Dr Jacob Tyler, an old friend and Nina's supervisor. Squires places Nina—for whom paralysis is setting in—on a chair, and goes back to the crossword, filling out *UNDERSLIP*; asking about the underwear young women wear, he slides his hand up Nina's skirt and kisses her on the mouth.

Nina is left alone until Tyler enters. He tells Charlotte—"Nina"—to hang on, before turning to the crossword. With Squires, he works out *MYSTERYGUEST*. Tyler reveals that he has no antidote for Charlotte, and will not call the emergency services. Instead, he wants Squires to eat Charlotte, as the Sphinx would. Tyler tells Squires that he cannot call the police, as the crossword displays premeditation: the *KNOWITALL* received a *MYSTERYGUEST* at number *NEUN*, resulting in *ASPHYXIATION*. Tyler reveals *PUFFERFISH*, predicting, with reference to crossword answers, that a *DOWN AND OUT* will find Charlotte wrapped in her *UNDERSLIP* in *SWAMPLANDS*, incriminating Squires. This is, Tyler says, his revenge.

Tyler cuts from Charlotte's buttocks, frying a strip of her flesh on a stove. Squires tells of how he began an affair with Monica, Tyler's wife and mother of his twin children, destroying Tyler's career. Tyler hands Squires the flesh; he eats, fearing Charlotte will die. Tyler reveals that he hates cryptic crosswords, and how his son entered the Cambridge Crossword Competition, attempting to beat his mother's new husband: Squires. Squires realises that Charlotte is Tyler's daughter. Charlotte and Tyler sought revenge on Squires, but Tyler changed plans so Squires would include clues in the crossword. However, Simon's autopsy—Tyler explains—revealed that Simon and Charlotte were actually Squires's children, meaning Monica and Squires's relationship began earlier than he previously thought. Charlotte is past saving, and Tyler places a bullet on Squires's desk, reminding Squires of the principle of Chekhov's gun. Squires confirms that his middle name is *Hector* as he weeps over Charlotte, and Tyler circles something on the crossword. Charlotte is dead, and Squires loads the gun, placing it in his mouth. Blood splatters over the crossword and a second nina: *RIPNHS*.

## Cast

 Steve Pemberton
 Reece Shearsmith