RIG

Who is RIG? A retro island gamer? A friend to you and me? A slayer of rats? A 58 year old man who has a birthday every other day? A wizard of the highest order of baldness? A robot who does not sleep? A master of piss ascii art? The last line of hope in the order of the armhairs? A pale island gamer? A slammer of chairs? bald bald bald bald bald bald bald bald bald rat secs

RIG Wizard's License number is 6969, the last renewal was 15th Dec, 2022.

### Bald® Streamer lifestyle

RIG was a man who had always been proud of his bald head. He embraced his lack of hair and even became a certified bald man, a title that was bestowed upon those who fully embraced their baldness and promoted body positivity.

Despite this, there were always rumors swirling around about RIG's past. Some said that he had once had a full head of thick, luscious hair, but had shaved it all off for some unknown reason. Others claimed that old DOS games caused him to lose all of his hair.

Recently, however, the truth about RIG's past was finally revealed. It turns out that he had indeed once had a full head of beautiful hair, but had made the decision to shave it all off as a symbol of his dedication to the bald community. He wanted to show others that being bald was something to be celebrated, not something to be ashamed of.

Since this revelation, RIG has become even more beloved by the bald community, who see him as a true hero and role model. His bravery and confidence in embracing his baldness has inspired countless others to do the same, and he continues to spread the message of body positivity to this day.

### RIG Facts

* RIG considers Jill of the Jungle a special game he enjoys.
* RIG thinks Inca 1 is better than Inca 2, but he enjoys both.
* RIG wears exclusively leather made from dolphins in the hot Hawaiian climate, saying only weaklings would do otherwise.
* RIG once worked in a KFC with questionable cleaning practices .
* RIG met Drew Barrymore at his job, he did not recognize her. RIG went on 50 first dates after that meeting.
* RIG has worked at two restaurants and has stories about both.
* RIG routinely would get into knife fights with his coworkers out back.
* RIG has a fan in his hallway.
* RIG is a true daughter of Hawaii.
* RIG cannot comprehend "modern" 3D third person action platformers on consoles.
* RIG hates Eldorado. It's always messing with his hat.
* The only known weaknesses of RIG are Eldorado Slam and the Mythical Mr. Bald.
* RIG wishes he could go a day without seeing at least a dead roach
* RIG once tried pursuing a job as a sound artist for a game studio. But a book told him that's a shitty idea.
* RIG has one arm hair that is 3 times as long as the others
* RIG thinks Heretic is better than Doom(he's wrong)
* Many people suspect he is the son of Johnny Sins

### RIG Histories

#### Episode 4

When his grandma realized he was a special entity, she called his parents and told them what happend. His parents said in unison, " It was only a matter of time." When his parents returned home a few days later, they asked RIG, "Why do you believe a wizard hat is in your future?" RIG said, " I had a dream. I only remember bits and pieces of it, but it was something about hot wizards in the area and to see an orb." RIG said those are the only points he remembered.

### References

1. ↑ https://clips.twitch.tv/TallDignifiedDiscWow-1GIC5FeS3nssMnSj
2. ↑  KFC Horror Story 1 [1]
3. ↑  KFC Horror Story 2 [2]