Lavender's Journal

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## The Memoir of a Vigilante: Chap 1. The Aquarium

(Note to self: Remember to edit this to sound more exciting and professional.)

Scene: Aquarium. Early Afternoon.

Me: your mild-mannered edgy 17 y-o POS. Also have some powers.

There with a date, she is pretty cool. Name's [REDACTED], first person to talk to me in one of my classes. Complimented my sleeve. That was nice. Hadn’t got that in a while. We got talking and she wanted to show me the sites of Halcyon. I agreed.

Aquarium, first, she said it was her favourite spot in town. So, we go there that afternoon after class. Well, we are there about an hour. Having a pretty good time. Aquatic animals are cool. Plus the signs were pretty informative. We are watching these pretty cute clown fish and suddenly pink gas is coming from above us.

I grabbed [REDACTED] by the wrist, I get her out of there. I also try to lead some others out. When we get outside and no heroes or emergency services have responded. Except for some asshole firefighters who are just waiting doing jack all. They got a call but see no emergency. I snatch one of their radios to find out when real help is coming. I get suited up and back in there. I find someone has dealt with this gas with some sort of device. Think his name was Steel Spirit, he is a genius to resolve that gas issue so quickly.

Anyways, the gas is cleared up and I see this other mask running with a dog(Was the dog his sidekick?) I chase him and stop him asking how I can help. The people who got stuck in the gas look like they are in serious pain as their bodies were contorting and %$\*&. I swear, if I find whoever made that gas they will have no where to hide. This is big. Problematically big. I hope AEGIS isn't involved

Then, out of nowhere someone else appears, Zip. She is rad as #!$%. I mention that I got this radio when we are discussing plans and she transforms it into this thing that also taps into cameras. Idk, it, showed us this grey van and the high school.

Well, you might think, job done wipe your hands, you'd be wrong. On the opposite side of the room behind boy genius are a squadron. These paramilitary goons in grey uniforms appear. I was told later that they are called "GRAY," wait, I didn't change grey to gray in that essay to make up for lost school. %$\*@!

Everyone is silent. We see the people had transformed into human-animal hybrids. Guess that's why they are calling it T-Day. These goons start harassing people not helping them. They have gas masks and look like they want to eradicate us. I provoke one of them. GI-Joe looks at me and decides to ignore me.

Fuck that.

I encourage Zip and Rescue to attack. They try their best. I got Steel Spirit out of the bind of all those soldiers with a portal. Kid is a workhorse as soon as I tell him what is going on he sets about making weapons for us. The animal people are getting angry. The goons are trying to subdue them.

Zip decides to create some confusion in the room by throwing in some smoke bombs she created. I follow suit creating portals to try to have them lose their spatial awareness by dropping them out in different parts of the room. Rescue has been keeping them on their toes with magic but he asks me to coordinate an assault with him. I agree, he executes his move in quick succession smashing the goon into my portal and with that and a crap ton of magical energy Rescue follows the goon through my portal smashing his head further into the ground. The goon should be happy that Rescue held back. Unfortunately, due to my powers all I could do was hear that lest I screw it up. Fortunately, I think I heard a bone or two snap.

So being unable to watch the badass plan happen, I decide it is my time to attack. They are shutting the animal people away in cages. I can’t let that happen. I attack the guard and get one of them out of the cage. The goons panic and start retreating spraying this pink stuff towards us. I, along with Steel Spirt and Rescue, am way too busy trying to not get hit by it so I don’t get transformed or something. Zip does her best handling the situation by herself creating an awesome land shark robot in the process. That scares of the soldier but crap-ily they manage to take one of the animal people, a crocodile.

I was slightly elated at the time though. I had worked well with these new people. We emerged with the two animal people that we had saved. Reporter swarmed us. Letting my narcissism get the better of me I gave a statement, standard hero stuff with the standard hero pomp: “Ask not what you would say to Halcyon city, but what would Halcyon say to you?” Kind of a riff on what my grandma would say to me growing up. Some washed-up report quoted me on his show where interviews semi-washed up celebrities.

Aftermath: We got swept away to this base by some hero who lost his powers. He mentors people now means he is still a hero. I was silent the entire time, my mind elsewhere. I had sent messages to [REDACTED] to no avail and was more than slightly worried about her. Left me with a sour taste. This hero, Super Crisp, was very impassioned about his offer of joining and seemed to actually care for this team that he had set up. I wasn’t entirely listening but I decided that I wanted to join. He reminded me of my aspirations.

I ended up going home soon after we watched that interview with that celebrity. I de-suited went by work and walked home with my cousin. When we reached our condo, the place was ransacked. Grandma was gone.

Kinda soured any good mood that was left.

## The Memoir of a Vigilante: Chapter 2. Rainy Days Ahead

Scene: Rainy. Friday the 5th of October. A better day than last time.

Location: Big Team HQ

Written:Oct. 10th

Super Duper Crisp(s?) invites us, us being Zip, Steel Spirit, Hesperus/[Redacted] (don't know which he prefers), and Ambush, into his office. We all come in. He gives us the mission help some washed up cop figure out some missing persons. Pretty standard street-level hero stuff.

So, we head across town taking the bus. I talked with various people on the bus until we got to the spot where we had to get off. We arrive in China-town. I think Ambush went home or something at this point. Head to the local PD in the rain. We establish contact with Detective Franklin. Turns out wrong person, we were looking for Detective Franklin Chang… None of us remember he had a last name. Anyways, I pull some fun with Detective Franklin. (You had to be there to understand) They tell us where Detective Chang likes to drink.

So being logical beings, we decide to get Chinese food while sending Steel Spirit Gamma, a remotely controlled android-like robot built by Steel Spirit. (Trust me, it is pretty cool.)

Hesperus takes us to a join that he says is pretty good. Looks pretty cool from the outside.(As in hasn’t changed in four decades) We head in and there is Aria. Shit. I pretend there is no hard feelings about T-Day. We get seated and order some things.

Part way through our meal, Aria pulls me aside we talk. She claims I went crazy trying to get a hold of her. Maybe I did but I didn’t back down. I blame Thorne, she always had to make me paranoid about danger. I pulled Hesperus into this to prove that he chose the place out and I wasn’t following her. We continue arguing till I walk off. Zip being the most wholesome person out there walks over and makes Aria smile a bit that melted right through me.

So, Steel Spirit eventually gets back to us with Chang in tow. I think things must have went great between the two of them as they go to the restaurant pretty quickly. We head to investigate the police station apparently some dude (the first of three, he reported the previous disappearance in a confession of their crimes) had just vanished from there. We investigate and some creepy robot stole this dude from there. We find this out thanks to Zip with some help from Steel Spirit. (Seems Zip is new to her powers but is still pretty capable with them.) Not much left at the PD so we head to the other two missing persons last known location their apartment.

We get into the building and receive no response from inside the apartment. We send Detective Chang for a cup of coffee due to his great job so far. (Should have expected that he does jack all. Cops are just mindless statist oppressors. They are more likely to work with villains than any other people besides the military. Vigilantes/superheroes, those not working within state-sponsored organizations like AEGIS, are the only proper way to deal with villains. Anyways this is a discussion for another time, I should write something on this though…) Hesperus asks which of us can pick locks. I say “I can” and kick in the door.

Inside, we found half the apartment half trashed and half perfectly clean. It is weirdly set-up. Steel Spirit Gamma eventually finds the two missing persons who lived in the apartment. I will not entertain their killer(despite the cessation of services from them) by describing the means in which we found their bodies. On one of them we find a letter. For the sake of brevity and to further not entertain the killer, I will only note that the letter was a clear taunt directed at Steel Spirit. When we discover this letter another hero appears, the Celestial, I am in my civvies as it is less suspicious and we didn’t have time to switch. I address myself as Lavender and out slips out a “Tommy” from the lips of the Celestial.  I pretend not to notice. We are chastised as incapable and for busting the sting. After some debate and frustration, Aria reveals herself to us to speed things along.

Ambush ambushes us (when did he catch up with us?) shooting down at the street after someone in a trench coat similar to the creepy robot we saw. I get us a portal down there and all of us are upon the bot. It looks like a macabre version of Steel Spirit Gamma. I will not name it by the name it chooses due to the assumption that this feeds into its fantasy. I distract the bot with its own monologue while waiting for my teammates to subdue it. Ambush puts a hole through its chest. We have no knowledge of where the third person is. Well until Zip and Steel Spirit save the day through some tech BS. THANK SUPER-CRISP FOR THEM. Hesperus disappears in a bright light and rescues our boy from what the news said later. Rad as heck. Chang has the crime scene under control.

The team leaves and I stick behind with Aria in the rain. I apologize for my behavior. I don’t tell her about grandma’s disappearance but that has really gotten to me especially knowing my and her super-past and that she went missing on T-day. She is really sweet and gives me a second chance despite my failings. She suggests the observatory on Thursday and I agree. I am excited for that. It’ll be fun. We both had to get going but have been sending each other texts

I guess she suggested the observatory based on her name. Shit, Celestial, is a cooler name than Thorn or Lavender. I won’t change it though. Grandma stuck with the *Orixa* identity throughout her career even after she fled north to Canada in the 1960s. Zeze Flores, my grandmother, would not let another member of her family be the slave of some authoritarian. I disappointed her when I joined AEGIS. She was happy when I left them. I was too. I have to hit the streets tonight, I know Cousin Leo would not approve but I can’t let Grandma be chained. The cops aren’t even looking for her yet. I know I checked their documents today.

## The Flower and Stars

Written: 3:00 am, 12th October

Thursday, 11th October

Woke-up was almost late to class. Fortunately, y’know… I can teleport to places. Took a bit of concentration but at least I wasn’t late to class, again.

Shit-ily, however I had clearly been in a fight the night before hand. Black eye, cuts on my neck and arms, but you know I am a punk, of course, I get into fights. A few teachers asked me if I was okay. I gave them the ol’ Tommy Flores’ smile and said “Yeah, just had a bad night. Its been dealt with.”

I posted on the Lavender Instagram last night, a picture of the Halcyon sunset and skyline, Thorne liked it on her alt and tried to follow me there. I blocked her. It really stings to see her.

School went well enough. Got to hang with Aria after school. I had been so excited for this. I feel safe around her in a way that I haven’t with anyone else in a long time. I kind of need that right now. So, she picks me up and she takes me to this old warehouse. (Trust me, I know it is a trope but you can find hundreds around Halcyon.) We found the old administrators’ office and hung out in there. We just hang out there and talk about dreams and other inane but endearing stuff.

Cut to us arriving at the observatory. We decided on this night because apparently there was some cosmic event going on. I was more than happy to go. Most of the dates I had went on before were missions. So, this was a nice change of pace. She knows a heck of a lot about stars. She gets so excited over them as well. It was great to hear about something someone else loves.

Then.

Well.

Throne showed up. That really shot things into the dirt. Maybe Hell. Definitely hell. I lost my sense of safety. She came up to us and introduced herself as my friend. She isn’t. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t take it. I remembered what happened. My last mission. I felt queasy.

I went to the washroom mumbling excuses.

I puked.

Then I cried.

Then I puked again.

I came out of the washroom. Thorne was gone. Aria was there. She was tense about the encounter, I presumed. I tried to talk about it but she wasn’t having it. We found our way to where the formal presentation was occurring and the lights went out for the shoe. Aria went away.  She left me standing in the dark. I did too.

Guess Thorne told her something about me. I messaged her with an explanation of who Thorne was to me, an abusive ex, I haven’t heard anything. I don’t know what’s wrong. I sent a text telling Crisp that I'd be busy this weekend and can't do Big Team.

I just can’t take this anymore.

I just want to feel safe.

Why can’t I?

## Subject: Lavender. Request for councilling

Oct. 21st

Addressed to: Dr. [Redacted]

Hey,

Cyclone told me I should send you things when I am in a bad
spot.

Well, today was shit but it will be okay. (Remember, I can’t look at people when they need their powers).'**Oh, also this one is a must read.** Note the summary. Cyclone would probably like you to.

Summary: Fuck you, Thorne. Drop dead, I’ll do more than punch next time. Also Gwen, Riley, Parrot, and Challenge kind of saw me have a
meltdown.

Breathing exercises, Lav remember? Tranquility?

Cyclone made us help with a hostage situation at some shitty
hipster coffee joint that isn’t even fair trade. I want to talk to him after
today. I need to speak to him about what has been giving me shit.

Us being Team Badass: Challenge (kinda scary eager about
things but reliable and effective plus [redacted), Gwen (Resident badass in
charge plus [redacted]), Parrot (Fuck she is buff and with her powers from what
I could *hear* she made an impactplus [redacted]), Lavender (That’s me.
I am the utility super. Here to deal with other powered beings), and…

Riley. She is a hero now! She is still super cool! (Those
skates like holy shit is that badass but also [redacted])

So, we arrive the ~~pigs~~ police officers have set up a barricade
and shit. Challenge does most of the talking with them. She seems to respect
them to some degree and ~~pigs~~ police officers eat that shit up. The
information as they tell us is such:

* 10 hostages are inside
* A good point of entry might be from the side of the building.

* They are negotiating with the hostage-takers

We quickly evaluate that the top of the coffee shop would be
a good vantage point to assess the situation and make decisions from there.
After a series of mishaps, we eventually find ourselves on the roof. Gwen can
fly. Or at least I *heard* she can. I
can teleport people/things. It worked out.

Gwen assigns roles to us when we are on top of this building
deciding our point of attack and our strategy and such. So, we split in to two
teams. Breach team: Gwen, Parrot, and I. Prevention of exit team: Challenge and
Riley. Challenge discovers the alleyway door from our vantage point seeing about
two armed guards. Her and Riley descend after Gwen arms me with a lead pipe and
Riley takes her choice of sledge and some bricks. (I don’t remember which if
either. I was assessing priorities in my head) I will be taking a focus towards
the initial breach team. Parrot activates her powers to become the concrete of
the roof. I created a portal directly into the room which kind of acted as a one-way
mirror. Gwen gave the plan of attack. This is how it played out:

1. Gwen chucked a now-concrete Parrot in through the portal. I averted my eyes previous to this to avoid turning things off.
2. I heard the thud and charged in with my pipe. I threw over a table onto a guy then came round it and beat down on him before hecan pull up his gun. He managed to win his way to his feet again just taking myblows. (Body armor protected him
3. Gwen charges out of the portal looking *awesome.* She charges at this guy who is armedwith a megaphone and a gun and he almost gets his gun up in time except I headbuttthe person I am tussling with and fire a few gunshots in that direction to make things difficult for megaphone man. ***I knew what I was doing I would not have hurt him. You know who trained me to shoot.** Thud*, I hear as he goes down
4. Challenge bursts into the room. Flies across it n a series of acrobatics and from the sound nothing good for the armed person came from that.
5. I am done with this asshole in front of me. *Thwack*, another headbutt, he reels from it. I charge him with my shoulder. I hit his gut feeling the air leave and he stumbles backwards further into what should have been a wall but he falls through, unfortunately for him that wall had become a portal. He fell through gravity turning against him and then *thonk* and a grunt as he landed on top of the plexiglass dessert display.

The fight was done. Soon enough Riley came in the back having assumedly knocked out or arresting whoever was there. She then tried to let the three gunmen in the main portion of the store go. Apparently, some Canadian girl hired them to do it and hence it wasn’t there fault. My gut dropped as I
looked around about to see her.

Thorne.

Shit eating grin on her face. I walked over to her my feet
carrying me. I dropped the pipe. I clenched my fists and before I knew it I had
punched her.

Everyone freaked. I told Gwen to look at who I just punched.
I fumed ready to break something more *likely*
*someone.*

I wasn’t mad at them and I knew that so after their bit of a
freak-out I spilled the beans. Maybe I should have *emphasized* how *dangerous*
Thorne is. Her powers are actually emotional control and plant growth.

She had got what she wanted though. Riley had let go the two
people out back. One of them was the person who got them this job.

I stormed past Parrot and out the back into the Alley. I
kicked over the garbage can and smashed my fist into the wall. Then the *memory* came back and I puked.
Fortunately, I had regained my composure enough by the time that Riley exited.
We talked and I told her who I thought I was. A fuck up. She told me different.
That helped. I understood why she let those people go. I would have too. She
left me there seemed a bit angry don’t think things went well inside and I was
in no place to help her emotional wreck I was.

The others handled the police situation.

Oh, also why did Cyclone assign me to a team made up of
entirely people that I crush on? I mean I know I crush on most of the Big Team but
still…

Unfortunately, this wasn’t made any better. I finally got to
back to base to do some gym time to work on my capoeira, I haven’t done it
since *the* last mission. (You know
which one I mean) I was using the punching bag. Gwen came over and held the bag
for me. We talked, I tried to let her know that I really appreciated how
understanding how she and the others were, how she was a badass, and I really
wanted to say more. She made sure to tell me that I was a useful element of the
team. She then went back to her own exercises. I focused on the music and some
memories. I felt that pain in my shoulder. So, I stopped and looked back Gwen
was looking like she was about to leave.

I turned and walked to her pulling my earphones out. “Hey
Gwen, am I cool?”

“Oh definitely, way cool”

“Thanks…” I was screaming internally *say something you idiot.* I didn’t obviously. She left to go do
whatever.

I guess today wasn’t as shit as I thought.

By the way could someone fix that hole in the middle of our
base? I don’t have Cyclone’s email and everyone is always texting him.

Thanks,

Tommy

## The Memoir of a Vigilante: Chapter 3. Breathless

Written on Nov 1st. 8:00pm Last Edited: Nov. 2
3:00am

Well, who is this for anyways? Is it a promise to them? Is
it a threat to her? Me? I don’t know. Lets just write it.

So, same stupid egotistical bitch from my past has decided
that it is her mission to ruin my life. Sorry, vovó, but she deserves a cage.

I am done playing hero with her. Next time that we meet things
will change permanently.

She has hurt so many people. Her actions are a direct result
of my non-action meaning that I have hurt so many people. I can’t let that
happen anymore. She poisoned my friends with spores.

That’s the line that’s the predicament she put me in.
Choosing between a friend’s life or stopping her. I saved my friend got them to
a hospital.

I will not let her put me in that situation *ever again*. It is unacceptable that I
let that happen to them. Worst of all it was my fault. Might as well explain
what happened after being infected with these spores.

Scene: Hospital, mid-afternoon

Weather: Sunny, not a cloud in the sky.

I had received a hot tip from that police scanner that a
girl fitting *her* description had been
breaking into some warehouses. I had gotten whomever was available on the base
creating a very dangerous situation due to the nature of the interaction of my
powers with very powerful metahumans but nonetheless this team was effective
for the goal of my initial plan. The assembled team was Hesperus(AKA Gabe [Redacted],
cool guy. Has badass sun/energy powers enough to power a badass mecha. Oh, also
can’t look at him without tearing his soul a-*sun*-der), Rhiannon (AKA The Morrigan, cute and kind girl who sounded
kinda English. Anyways, I couldn’t look at her without causing some serious
damage or something which is kinda unfortunate as I’d have liked to see her…
because her powers sounded cool not for any other reason), Rescue (Cool guys
plus pretty cute. Always for up-beat. I can look at him which is pretty
fortunate… plus his cute dog, Search, is always with him which makes him double
cute), and… even though they weren’t a big team member I had asked Celestial along.

Thorne (sorry to name her, explanations have necessary
evils) had gotten away as we had to get Celestial to a hospital and she had put
a figurative gun to our heads. *Poisonous*
spores that embedded themselves and had to be physically removed. *Everyone was*
infected with them **besides me.** *Celestial’s were the only person that weren’t*
*dormant though*.Thorne’s powers
greatly reduced the spread of the infection or could have greatly increased them.It would be *my* fault if I had let anyone else get hurt. Cut back to the
hospital, Daddy Crisp had showed to help us through it arriving just before us.
The doctors took Celestial under their care and did what they could while we
deduced a better solution.

 After much discussion
and various phone calls we reached the conclusion that the requisitioned GREY
submarine might have some useful tech. Perhaps a laser or something. So, I get
us back to base with one of my signature portals. Dr. [Redacted] has been
giving me breathing exercise that really helps with my concentration. Reminded
me of rifle training but unlike that this has helped make portals easier. The
portal is a typical floral design and very stable. We use it to arrive at the
base.

I lead the way into the submarine. Seemed fairly well fitted
with armaments externally. The dangers internally however were minimal. Upon
examination of several of the features and panels of the ship, I figure that we
can shrink it. So, in typical superhero weirdness we decided that the best
course of action was to test this upon one of us. Then uh... we asked Rescue
and Search to get out so we could try it out on Rescue.

Hesperus really pulls through here. He manages to power the
entire ship at least I assume he does as I couldn’t look at him or Rhiannon
during this process. Movement was tight for me but it would be okay.

So, we shrink and move the ship into position and… we were
accidentally breathed in through the nose of Search. The time crunch did not
allow for us to try to get into rescue so we tested the sub’s capabilities
within search. After the destruction of a few spores we decided that we were
capable of moving on to Celestial. I created a portal that proved too small but
thanks to the magicks of Rhiannon it expanded but was clearly unstable in a feat
of raw power Hesperus boosted our engines to make us move faster and we got
through. In all this we had unintentionally left Rescue behind but they followed
through their own means.

We arrived close to Celestial in the hospital and proceeded
in through the nose. I *needed* tosave them. Their death would be too
hard a burden on my soul. The events however that transpired in saving Celestial
however were whack and I ask you(AKA Future me/entrusted friend) to suspend
your disbelief.

We used a number of a methods to deal with the spores beginning
with their destruction through the submarine’s onboard lasers heating the one’s
around the heart and Rescue and Search using the adorable dog’s regenerative abilities
to decrease their damage to Celestial’s body letting it fight back. At one
point Rhiannon had to leave the ship to destroy some of the spores around the
brain. We talked briefly and after I started a lame joke she made me “captain.”
She then made a joke about how good I was as a guide to the body and I kind of
snapped at her with a “Do you want me to look at you?” I really don’t know why
I said that. I thought she was making a jab at my eyes and I just don’t like those
powers. They limit me from doing things I want. *Like looking at people I like.*

 Rhiannon soon came back after unleashing her powers effectively
to destroy many of spores trying to enter and surrounding the brain. I was
still a little caught up by the whole snapping thing but she just helped in her
soft kind voice and a gentle touch to continue the dance that I had to have
around Hesperus and her. *I am so glad she*
*couldn’t see my face when she touched my back. It just felt surprisingly intimate to me and I was blushing quite hard.*

Anyways, we eventually got back on track after some
communication with Rescue. The last blockage was in the intestinal track. It
took a while to get to there but we eventually found a building-sized, in comparison
to the sub, spore buildup that had sprouted slightly. While we were discussing
a plan to take this massive build-up I found a surprisingly large red button
labeled “Mecha” that was hidden under an officer’s chair. The ship then just
kinda turned into a mecha. This spore growth was destroyed by a combination of
laser sword, impressive sun-laser bursts from the arms of the mech, and an
arcane chest blast from the combined arcane prowess of Rescue and Rhiannon.  All-in-all it was fairly impressive but you
really had to be there to understand how and why it was. This meant mission
successful.

Thank *fuck.* I had
never let a larger sigh of relief.

We soon parked the sub in the parking lot. I made sure to
teleport it back to base after everyone had went inside. Then headed inside to
discover how things had went down. We met up with Rescue inside. The doctors
insisted that everyone was examined for the spores. So, after examination while
waiting for the results we had a bit of a conversation between ourselves. All
fairly good stuff, kicking *her* ass
seems a big goal of the assembled team members. Gabe expressed some respect of
me sharing my past with him and offered some help from his parent’s magic shop
for my ocular-powers. His spores had all been burned up by his powers. *Might be something to look into. Might also talk*
to Zip or Tatum*.* *Rescue was fairly anxious*
based on his quick exit. After the results told him that the spores he had
would leave naturally he went out the door quite hastily but seemed in a good
mood otherwise. *Hope he is okay and knows*
that he can come to me if he needs me. *I was fine, I had **no spores in me**.* Celestial had none
either after some laser surgery by the doctors and our mission.

I saved Rhiannon for last because I feel like I hurt her and
that she deserves at least a paragraph because of that. She made some dorky
joke that might have seemed kinda vain at the time but had good intent. *Fortunately, I didn’t snap at this one. I*
knew she was trying to help me. That she was doing this because she wanted to. Not to manipulate me. *I told her she was a great hero and that she really helped today.* I was blushing as I said
this I knew it was corny. I really
hope that I didn’t make it awkward*.* Rhiannon… she had spores in her and
needed to have some minor surgery to remove the spores. I decided to wait. Gabe
soon left after everyone’s results were back. Think he had something to do.

I went and changed my clothing into my civilian clothes. Super
Crisp talked to me for a long time going on about an anecdote about leadership
and responsibility. He had brought some trail mix and shared it with me.
Honestly, though my mind was mostly focused on Rhiannon and if she was okay. I
think Super Crisp noticed and he decided to tell me a few stories about parties
and getting into trouble as a teen. Half-cheered me up.

Rhiannon eventually woke up in the hospital bed with Cyclone
and I were waiting right there. I know I met her today but she made me feel *safe* in a way that I haven’t around
another person in a while and I owed it to her because of what Thorne had done
to them. I heard her cry a little bit. Cyclone comforted her. I wish I could
have looked and given a reassuring glance or something but these eyes make that
kind of hard.

Eventually, we leave the hospital Super Crisp offering both
of us a ride home or the base. We both accept. She gave me the front seat as to
avoid unintentional eye contact. We go to Rhiannon’s place first. We all talked
slightly on the way there mostly mundane things. Her place was huge and looked
very old. It was impressive. I want to ask her something before she got out but
the words got stuck in my throat. *How do*
you ask someone you can’t look at on a date? Definitely need something to deal
with those powers. Also how do I do
it when a strong father-figure (to both of us) is there? *So, I let it go*
considering that we only just met and that y’know there are always other opportunities.
I ask Crisp to take me back to the base with him. We discuss the details and
effects of the concentration of my ocular powers.

I might not need the cage if I do this right, vovó.

## The Memoir of a Vigilante: Chapter 4. Closer

Written Nov. 11th 4:00am

Scene: Game Room,
Big Base

Weather: Cloudy, I
think. Idk I was on my phone and indoors. It was cloud when I went out there.

Parrot bursts into
the room slamming the door open. I almost drop my phone. I had been checking
out photos of mechs on the internet to figure out what kind ours was. Mentions
something about Drag Queens and Ms/Mrs(idk does it matter? Marriage is a social
construct) Gay Halcyon. I am in. The rest of the group doesn’t get what drag is
especially Bestiary. Sometimes I forget he is a 15 y.o kid. Y’know, the whole
him looking like 6’5 beast-man kinda makes it hard but then other times he is
exactly like your little brother. They think it is some kind of racing so… we
went with it.

So the us: Bestiary
(Basically feels like a little brother or cousin to me by the end of this.
Sorry for the whole dropping you two-stories thing big underestimation. Won’t
happen again. Probably. Also powers are entirely a natural physical
manifestation of his body and hence no off button), Redstreak (Literally
attached to Spectre, I think), Spectre(They seem to know me from somewhere but
I don’t remember them. They need to focus more on helping people rather than
themselves), Parrot (Well, I can save this for later but suffice to say she is
handsome.), and me…

We got to the Vinyl
City Records, the place hosting the show, I teleport us in there because
American drinking laws are whack. (Don’t get me started on Canada at least, it
was better. Wait, was this maybe one of those protect the children things? Idk)
So, we watch the show (Bomb af. Those queens got some moves) for a while. I am
waiting for mf Sham Payne to show up because dayum that looks like a fun show. Suddenly,
commotion outside. Y’know standard “lets go have a normal thing for once” hero
BS.

Literal chunks of
rock are falling from the sky. Several inhuman figures moving about inspecting
the landed rocks. We approach one. GreetingEarthlings.jpg. His name is
Kybalion, he is a handsome lizard man. He is apparently a member of something
called the Knight Protectors. (The name screamed imperialist but w/e. Wait… I
need to explain to Gwen why doing knight and nobility shit is problematic don’t
I? I can tell her when we watch the Celtic play the Raptors again on Friday at
big base) He is searching for some BS called the Sonata. One of four magical
MacGuffins with which Anonymous(Wait or did he say Ominous?) can delete the
universe or something. I didn’t really care much about all this space BS. What
is this the Silver Age? There are plenty of normal Earth-based problems to deal
with.

So after throwing
in the standard. “Why the fuck you interfering with earth problems?” just as
vovó taught but y’know in a politer way because not full superhero yet. He just
says the standard Alien reply EarthlingsIgnorant.gif. So, we go with him to
recover this piece. It doesn’t take long to find it. It is a huge chunk of rock
that glows. Unfortunately for us, Drag Queen Supreme and Superheroine, Shafree
Forall was in ~~BDSM gear~~  some sort
of harness that controlled her mind complete with “Bane mask” and was evilly
marching towards the rock and she was not going to talk with us.

Some of the others
charge forward trying to reach the sonata first. I decide why not send it at
her and get down sitting back slowly and focus my powers. I open a portal and
attempt to throw the sonata at her. I take a second too long to mentally link
the portals and she notices smashing the sonata letting the music box fall out.
*Also during all of this I am trying not*
to turn off anyone’s powers *so perhaps me having to close my eyes during most*
of this was part of the problem. I didn’t see much of what went actually down
in the fight just the various smashing and eventual temporary subduing of
Shafree by the others while I negotiate with Kybalion the exact terms of
protection for the Sonata. He gave me this communicator thing that allowed me
to contact them if I ever had concerns. I bring Bestiary being guided by the
sight of Kybalion slightly who has acquired the Sonata to directly beside us
after we have resolved that issue.

Unfortunately, I
brought Bestiary two stories above us because if I had glance at one of the
others and they were vulnerable to Shafree. Well, a pulverized big team member
is worse than an angry Bestiary. He fell and landed hard. I took the Sonata and
apologized helping him up after giving the Sonata to Kybalion. Parrot called
out for the help of Spectre. Spectre ran over to the three of us standing and
begged to touch the Sonata before realizing that it did not give her special
powers but was just a space macguffin. Then I heard something it was a buzzing
in the air coming from Shafree’s direction. There was some grunting and cries
of pain from Parrot. Screw this. *I open*
my eyes. *I looked Shafree dead in the eyes as I saw some sort of energy building*
inside her and off she went. This weakened her a great deal she almost looked
pitiful until she attacked my teammate again with the apparatus. *That hurt*. *More than that sword. Knowing that **I** should have stopped things from the start.* But Parrot… She
managed to remove the apparatus taking the hit on the chin… and maybe my eyes
helped with that. Shafree broke down and Parrot tried to comfort her. I looked
away not wanting to kick someone while they were down.

Spectre approached
me afterwards telling me how awesome I was. *Yeah.*
Thanks. *I scolded her slightly telling her that she shouldn’t lose focus on*
the goal at hand for something like touching the Sonata and I didn’t say this
but her not helping Parrot almost cause this fight to be a lot more
destructive.  Next time, I will take
charge if no strong leader emerges.

I tried to slip
away to check up on Leo. He had been hopeful about vovó the first couple of
weeks but the stress of her being gone plus work has really eaten away at him.
Bestiary, however, stopped me growling and being mad about the portal thing. I
apologized briefly trying to indicate that I was not in the mood for that
conversation but he continued it so remembering how my cousins would deal with
an irate me. I teased him. I remembered what he had said about magic earlier
how it was just advanced science or something. I said it was magic and he tried
to say it was tech or something. I just continued to tease him over this till
he got more frustrated at the magic thing than what he originally was mad
about. *I am actually sorry Bestiary. Just*
I can’t fix that.

Then we settle down
into a conversation with Kybalion about how this will go down. I took my
opportunity to text Leo during this time while everyone was distracted and I
had already talked about this. We came to the same conclusion as Kybalion and I
had had earlier. Shafree reassured us of the goodness of Kybalion. Then he got
going to do space things.

Parrot and Shafree
talked seemed like Parrot came out of that happy. A number of the others did as
well giving me time to focus. I let them all go through their conversations
then I caught Parrot by the arm and took her slightly aside from the others.

I asked her if she
would narrate the rest of the show for me because I didn’t want to weaken
Shafree as I felt I had already made her feel bad enough. She accepted. I
thanked her then. I asked her if she thought I did well in the fight and if I
seemed cool.

*She called me handsome*

Then I blushed a
lot and kinda said “you too.” The moment after she had said I was cool. God,
she probably thinks I am an idiot. I glanced between the ground and her. A
silence of hung in the air between us as that. I smiled slightly making my look
linger back to her helmet. She let out a giggle and a “Thanks.”

[Insert
transitionary stuff]

We stood there
already in a tight spot within the crowd. She had lifted her helmet slightly to
free her helmet. We pressed close. Her mouth was right beside my ear.  As the crowd surge in hype, we pressed even
closer. I held tight to her arm intertwining them at the elbow.  My eyes were near the floor or on the bodies
around me not on the stage. I listened closely to her each description enjoying
these moments of intimacy. I hadn’t ever felt that *close* to someone. Each description felt personal and made me enjoy
the experience more due to her sheer excitement.

The end of the
night came too soon.  I suggested that we
hang out again sometime. I gave her my number.

The picture of her cat that I got in return was cute.

It was a really
good time. Thank you, Parrot.

Btw I am stealing the cat.

## The Memoir of a Vigilante: Chapter 5. Almost

Today I made an integral step towards being a hero.

I had finished my homework like an hour before all this went
down while half-watching some basketball re-runs. Rhiannon showed up and asked
me to come hang out. I agreed because Rhiannon is an awesome person plus drop-dead
gorgeous but more of that later. I didn’t want to be a bother to her so I
suggested giving myself blindfold but she instead comes up with the smarter
idea of some 3d glasses that had the lenses blotted out with marker.

She then escorted me letting me rest my hand on her
delicate shoulder. I am really glad my teammates are so kind. Parrot, Rhiannon,
Freedo, and everyone else. Honestly thanks you, guys. Rhi guided me into a car
which I didn’t ever get a good view of but I assume was lavish as she had a
driver. We soon picked up someone called Jake. He was very eager to be helpful
while he still thought I was blind. Even helped guide me to a seat and did my
order in Philosotea.

We all got our drinks at this Philosotea place. Rhi gave me
a moment to look at the team by heading to the washroom. I met Freedo(damn he
is cute and a jokester), I knew Challenge already(still scared of her but also
y’know), I saw Jake’s face(He is good-looking but not my type), Rhi soon
returned after I got a good look (She is cute and ever so kind), and me(average-ass
angry punk vigilante with powers that also had some paramilitary training).

Soon a report came on the news. Some Transformed have been
apparently attacking businesses that don’t allow them entry or services. Benoit
and Rodriguez were vehemently attacking the transformed as the source of these problems and as not deserving of the city property(The Park) they were granted.

I had writ a paper on the civil rights movement last night
as part of me making up for the class I lost (also y’know never taking American
history besides some Wikipedia articles) and so I am reminded of a quote from the
noted scholar Killer Mike: “The ballot or the bullet, some freedom or some
bullshit. Will we ever do it big, or keep just settling for little shit.”

This relates to later but the Zodiac and the Transformed in
general don’t want to keep settling for little shit. That is where their anger
comes from. Sure, they have a home(kinda) and aren’t slaves or anything but
they aren’t allowed to enter certain businesses, have no protected rights as
transformed, people are trying to take away the home they have, and more.

I named myself after the lavender scare in 1950s America, so
issues like this are important to me. When one group is targeted as an enemy of
the state others are soon to follow. Even if this is at the municipal/city
level targeting these people is unjust.

We all agreed we should investigate. There had been some
notable tension the entire time everyone had been quiet particularly Challenge and
Freedo. I disturbed this cracked a really bad joke. Got everyone talking. We
resolved the issue let Freedo knew that everyone loved him. It was a really
sweet moment even though I didn’t get to see it. It will stick with me.

Upon arrival at the park, which is the Zodiac’s home, we are
greeted by an immediate anti-Transformed crowd and some guards holding them out
of the park. I decide the best in is with one of my portals. I step in front of
Rhiannon who guides me throughout this entire mission except when otherwise
noted. I evaluate the situation then concentrate but that was hard. My
breathing was irregular Rhi’s touch on my shoulder was so gentle and kinda
intimate that I lost concentration on my breathing. We fell through my portal
landing on the crowd. They did not react well to having people dropped on them.
We started getting beat down on with signs and other things until Challenge
managed to turn them away from us and towards city hall.

We then met a nice Transformed centaur man, Derek, who gave
us each phone charm representing one of the Chinese zodiac. I took rooster, it represents
Exu, the protector of the *Terreiro*
and the home. I wanted the homes of those around me to be protected. Others
took the ones they wanted. Rhiannon took a dragon as she picked first. Maybe she
is Welsh… It explained that way too cute accent.

We got going inside after a moment. We all went towards Monkey
as Jake had met him before. Or at least I thought we did later we found out
that Challenge had split off. I was blinded so didn’t really notice. We sit and
listen to Monkey explain that       some
of the transformed were understandably still upset with the current situation.
These dissidents were possibly led by Rooster.

We then head out from Monkey’s room as apparently Challenge
has discovered where some of the dissidents were hanging out. We had a bit of
an argument about the whole how do we deal with these guys thing. I was
advocating that we help them and channel their energy but this was
misinterpreted slightly until things were cleared up. Challenge soon identified
Rooster as the leader for us and instead of dropping in on their meeting and
possibly getting into a fight we decided to wait until Rooster was alone.

We tailed Rooster. Before the confrontation Rhiannon offered
to stay behind. So that I didn’t have to worry about my eyes. Freedo then
offered the solution of him turning off my eyes with his own powers. I accepted
that. I tested it first on Jake and then turned to see Rhiannon.

She was beautiful. Those green eyes hid something within
them. I stammered. I didn’t know what to say. I just wanted to ask her out. She
was just so… y’know? Like I just wanted to look at her eyes for an eternity. I
think I might have because my brain stopped for a while. I blushed stammered a “Thank
you” to Freedo. I regret not complimenting her… maybe even asking her out but what
can you do now?

I turned and there stood Rooster. They were about to go
inside to speak with Monkey. I got that fire in my heart that you talked about vovó.
I walked up to them and I just let loose. I used my real name to them. Words
spilled from my mouth and I might have gone all MaleBravado.GIF but I told them
to channel that anger. Provoke asshole like Bennoit and Rodriguez to do
something. Protest out the front of city hall. Let everyone see you. Jake and Freedo
added in their support but I was in such a fire that I didn’t really know what
they said. Rooster said that they would still rob the thrift shop that they had
planned if the protest didn’t work in a week. Both Freedo and I agreed that we
would join in on that if the protest didn’t work. I’ll be there to make sure no
one gets hurt but if the protest doesn’t work, I am not letting my family flee
again vovó.

So I hit the phone and media. We called the local unions, I
called Cousin Leo to make him talk to the people in his union, I called Aria
asked her to be there as Celestial or get some of her friends to come, I called
Cyclone and pulled every card I could, I posted this across all the media, and
I will make this work.

This is my moment to be a hero, vovó.

One day… I will make you proud.

Oh uh… also I might have asked Rhiannon for her number before
heading home. I was really nervous but she just gave it to me. So I am not that
hopeless, vovó.

The notes app is then exited switching over to texts. A
number are soon typed out:

Contact: Parrot

Hey Parrot Nov. 19 3am

Miss you. Hope things are going well in space. Jealous of
all those gorgeous stars but few things beat Halcyon on a rainy night. Hope we
can hang out when you get back. Maybe grab a coffee or something? Nov. 19 3am

<Attached are several photos of Chinatown, various neon
streetscapes, and a few puddle reflections of various lights and signs>

Contact: Rhi

Hey Rhi 11pm

It was nice to see you today. Hope you and I can hang out
again Nov. 18th 11pm

 Maybe go out for tea
or something sometime? Nov. 18th 11pm

Contact: Leo

You get Milk? Nov. 16th

Oh also don’t forget we need more rice. Nov. 16th

Fuck you! Why’d you eat my last donut? Nov. 17th

Contact: Gwen

\*All texts sent Nov. 13\*

Basketball is on soon?

Wtf? 6pm

Where are you?

You went to space

Next time at least invite me

## Everything's Coming up Roses

> Hello Cyclone,
>
>

> This is Tommy. I write this in reference
>
>
> to the events that occurred on Thanksgiving. I do not appreciate any of the
> actions that you took. You invited a former abuser of mine into an environment that
> I perceived to be a safe one. You continued to allow this to occur as I visibly
> removed myself from the room and I overheard Rhiannon speak to you. If you had
> informed me of this earlier, I perhaps would have been open to it. However, you
> did not consider what bringing Thorne to this event would do for my own emotional state or that of your other students. I understand that we were disrespectful towards Madge but we are children. We thought we were going to be safe there. You
>
>
>
> really failed me today.
>
>

> It is
>
>
> for these reasons that I request that we maintain a strictly professional
> relationship from here out. I thank you for all the support that you have
>
>
>
> provided me and my teammates in the past. You have my phone number. Contact me that way for missions. In addition, I am retiring the code-name “Lavender,” I will instead be using “Flower.”
>
>

> Best wishes,
>
>

> Tommy
>
>

Tommy sighs dropping the letter onto Cyclone’s desk. A

neatly wrapped and taped paper-covered package is tucked under the boy’s jacketed arm. He then hits send on his phone sending a similar email to Cyclone’s email. A portal opens immediately in front of Tommy which lead to a small spartan room
with soft carpets and single well-made wooden frame bed a tiny corner-desk and
a small set of drawers being the only other furniture. Tommy enters the room
the portal closing behind him. He set the package on the bed. Then kneeling down,
he pulls out a metal chest from underneath the bed with “A.E.G.I.S.” emblazoned
across it. After unlocking it he picks up the package and sets it inside before
shutting it again and sliding it back under the bed. Tommy begins to breathe in and out slowly slowing his heart down closing his eyes. Softly at almost a
whisper words come out. “I am Tommy not Lavender. I am who I want to be. My
friends backed me up today. I kissed Rhiannon and she kissed back. I am not my
past.” A few moments pass and a slightly blushing Tommy stands. “I kissed Rhiannon…”

## Big Brother

Scene: Halcyon

Weather: Rainy

Location: Little Portugal/Brazil, adjacent to China-Town

Sometime in the mid-week

Rain patters onto a dimly-lit sign that reads “Flores Autobody
and Service” with floral. Power tools can be heard occasionally inside. Leo sets
his beer down on the side of a table in his office and lets out a burp.  Two well muscled arms slide out of his
coveralls and he zips down the front uncovering his beer gut hidden behind a
tank top. Leo ties the arms to act as a belt. He gave me a wide smile as I
finished the wield on of a slightly damaged panel. His loud voice could be
heard even over my torch. “So tell me why your friend ripped this massive
fucking hole in the side of the car? Because I don't remember my friends liking
to break my shit.”

“He was in a bad spot, Leo. They were mad about their father
turning out to be a villain and I didn’t feel like trying to be nice to them so
I didn’t bring it up.”

“Wow sounds like you all have some sort of daddy issues.”
Leo waits a brief moment and after I don’t respond pats me on the shoulder. “Let
your deadbeat cousin take you out for food and act like a good father figure
for once.”

I nodded after moment of hesitation. I started setting away my
equipment then went to get cleaned up.

The rain touched my face like a cold relief as I leaned up
against the wall. My jean jacket made me look like your standard greaser punk
but the rain soon made me look pretty grunge I think. I pulled out a smoke and
was about to light it when Leo came out. Now in his black sweater and jeans, he
smacked the cigarette from my hands. “Bad for your, health.”

We then walked to a close by Ethiopian place and ordered
sitting down. After a few moments Leo spoke up. “So spill the beans, Tommy…”

I looked down and set down the injera momentarily before
eating the food and spoke uncaringly. “They, all four of them, wanted to go see
Cyclone so I went along with them as emotional support. They suggested that we
investigate the crash site but it had been over a week and older heroes had
probably already done that. I made them investigate Grandma with me instead.
Cops were paid off not to investigate her. Freedo and I got into the station by
pretending to be AEGIS. I intimidated a cop and he sent us into an obvious trap
involving the Crimera crime family. Deadfall tried to undermine me by talking
to the officer afterwards but jack all came from that. We staked out the place afterwards
and Deadfall ditched us for food with her dad.”

Leo put up his hand to tell me to slow down and chew my food
instead of panicking out this story. “Wow sounds like a lot of BS that you need
to take charge of Tommy. Reminds me, I brought Vovó food this one time she was
on stake-out. We sat there and ate burritos while she waited for this shipment
of superweapons to show up. I ended up eating a burrito and a half so good
night all in all.”

I half-smiled. Leo was always the one that I thought should
have got powers. He deserves them more than me. His head was always screwed on
right. “Yeah we didn’t even find out much about grandma other than she got away
from them on 3rd and Cyclone. Freedo and I even got sent to this
hellscape for a few minutes in which some sort of demon tried to possess us or
eat our souls or some BS.”

Leo had a serious look under his eyes one that spoke of
years about hearing these types of stories but that smile on his face hid it
well. “You both okay now? Get the proper help?”

I nodded without hesitation. “I think so. Leo… you remember
how I glanced over the car crash thing and that I went with some Big Team
members to American Thanksgiving.”

He nodded his face still smiling as he scooped up some food
in his injera. “Well Thorne showed up because Cyclone brought her with him.”

Leo set down his injera. His smile dropped. “What hospital
was he staying at?”

I shrunk slightly into my seat. “I don’t want to hurt him,
Leo. He just did what he thought was best and I am not using him as personal
support anymore. The others who were there stuck up for me. I even ended up
kissing one of them. The five of us that went kinda ruined Thanksgiving at the
same time.”

“Think you had that done for you, Tommy. You are fine with
me.” Leo looked down at his plate smiling softly and smacked the table with his
fist. I could feel tears starting to well up. “Y’know Uncle Carlos was asking
if you’d like to move down to LA with him? He said he’d even pay for it. It’s better
than I can give you here at least without vovó’s pension.”

“I’d rather not do that. I need to help my friend that one I
said that I kissed… She kinda went missing in that crash.” I said tears
starting to stream down my face. Leo stood and walked round to my side of the
table and gave me a tight hug.

“Let’s get going a little cousin.” He said after a long
moment passed. We got some odd looks as he stood up but I knew that my cousin
loved me. He would be there when I need him most.

## Lavender Enlightened

Dec. 13th

~~Wow just… FUCK YEAH!~~

For once, it came my way

I got vovó back. Rhiannon and I are a thing…

But GREY is still in charge and for once I am out of plans
and don’t see a thing that I can do.

Perhaps with Orixa back something will be done. She’ll whip
these younger heroes into some sort of resistance to Rodriguez. Use some of those
favours she’s been saving. I don’t know I am not my grandmother.

AGAIN: I saved my vovó. Zeze is back. We saved Rhiannon. I
have a girlfriend now.

I punched the fucker that kidnapped my grandma and Rhiannon.
Whitelight. Rescue tried to stop me but I am quicker than him. Whitelight then
yelled at me some shit about not getting this whole super thing.

That I am playing hero. That is probably right. Why am I playing
hero? To protect my family. To prove that I am a good person. It might just be
play but I need to do it because otherwise I won’t prove that I am better than
Blackjack, Thorne, and the rest of that old fucking team.

I knew Rescue was mad when my Grandmother sent Whitelight
somewhere but fuck you Rescue. YOUR DAD KIDNAPPED MY GRANDMA. I get that they
aren’t evil and that they can be redeemed but lets do that in place where we
have the edge. Dom thanks for speaking to him because if he keeps up this “woe
is me” shit, I am going to drop him. I get it but:

*That unmatched form*
and feature of blown youth

*Blasted with ecstasy.*
Oh, woe is me,

*T' have seen what I*
have seen, see what I see*!*

Rescue step up. You are bigger now. Be the person I think you can be and
have seen you be.

Freedo seemed really torn up after the mission. I am not going to
pry but I should have said something. I hate seeing that handsome boy that way.
I probably shouldn’t have let him wash it away with my vodka. I just am not the
best person to emotionally support people. I am horrible at being an average teenager
with feelings and shit.

Lancelot was badass the entire time. So stoic. ~~Very cute.~~
She also let loose at the party. Dancing. Drinking. I kinda wanted too as well
but Rhiannon wasn’t too into the whole party thing. I didn’t want to make
Rhiannon feel alone at a thing done for her. I really wanted to dance and
drink. And ask Lancelot if she thought I was cool. Because she is. I guess I did
on her blog but that isn’t the same. I like to many people. Like *like.*

I also haven’t said to anyone on the team who I really am
yet either.

I haven’t told them about the old LAVENDER. Is it really
right for me to be with Rhiannon if she doesn’t know who I was?

I did that wrong with Aria. They didn’t appreciate finding
out that I was something under that mask of Tommy and it wasn’t the Halcyon
stuff that was the problem. It was who I was and because I didn’t say who I was.
I hurt people

I hope you can teach me Rhi before I break our friendship
too.

I also didn’t say shit about me being poly, about how I go
to sleep at 4am every night, how my family is near dirt broke, my mom ditched
us for some asshole in Europe, my uncle can’t afford to pay his lease to stay
in business and I had to use that dirty money I stole from the cop to pay it
off this month, and we’ll probably not get to have a Christmas because we didn’t
get Grandma’s pension this month.

I just don’t think I can keep doing this thing. I guess I am
going all “woe is me” now but screw you Rescue. Next time I see your dad in
public I will expose him, ~~I will take away his powers,~~ bet your fucking
ass rich boy that I will punch him. YOU BETTER BE HAPPY MY GRANDMA GOT TO HIM
FIRST.

I probably shouldn’t be this mad at you. It isn’t your fault.
I am the problem.

~~I can’t even say I am genderfluid~~

~~I can’t even say I hate my mom~~

~~I can’t even say I hate myself~~

## Order with Lavender

So, summary of today:

We had heard the sounds of a firefight when we had gone out
to grab snacks for the base at least that’s what Gwen told me. The us were Gwen
[Damn, she is still cute. Next time bring up being mad at her for space and
basketball. You were like my one normal friend dude? I haven’t had time for any
normal friends in so long and you ditch me. Like I get you gave me an oath but
what if I just needed a shoulder? An embrace?], Sherman[I feel really bad for
him, he reminds me too much of who I could have been, I was soldier too, and I fought
for what I thought for was right. I’ll make you into more than a soldier, boy.
There is a joke in there some way.], myself [Your typical commie tommy teen
super-hero who continually throws themselves into relationship after
relationship and puts labels onto too many things but is too scared to figure
themselves out.], and later some other asshole joined us.[Don’t worry we get to
you later]

So scene:

Location: Busy Intersection, business sector by the [insert
superhero of choice] Overpass

Situation: Firefight between GREY Paramilitaries and Crimera
transformed.

Problem: By-standers in cars caught in the crossfire.
Neither assholes had concern for casualties

Weather: Overcast

We all set into action getting people in and out as best we
could. I did quite a bit of urban damage with my portals throwing potential
hazards away from civilians. Then out of no where this asshole ShadowX(Jessalyn,
god, why is everyone on this team attractive? At least her personality is
abrasive and narcisstic). This asshole was streaming the whole saving people
thing. I accidentally hit hurt because I was in a rush saving everyone
including Sherman, by-standers, and even Crimera goons. Then the fight was over
no one looked at me and called me hero. I woke Sheman up by dropping him. We
walked away me dodging some fruit flung at me for breaking a camera.

I had a small talk with Gwen telling her that she was good
and that she was a hero. That she did a great job back there and that I was
nervous about having her back. I think I might have actually got through to her
because she seemed a little bit better. GREY soon sets to work fixing shit.
Fucking authoritarian bastards soon came over to praise us in their propaganda
clip to the news. I was ready to strangle that little grimey piece of shi-[several
angry profanities in a mix of English, French, and Portuguese going down the page
for three full scrolls]

Anyways, sorry. Gwen found a note on her person after
interacting with a couple of bystander. The note had the contact information
for a bank robber, or so Gwen informed us, called the “Pollinator” formerly “Portability.”
I let her use my phone to contact him. He wanted us to break him out in
exchange We put to a vote and decided upon it. (3-1(ShadowX being the one) She
fortunately though gets us some uniforms and an entrance through a contact.

Got to re-use those escape skills from the old days.
Fortunately, I am pretty good at busting out of prisons. Not my first embassy
either. Am I culpable for this? I mean I haven’t said where yet and it was all
clandestine so probably like no evidence. So I mean what’s the harm?

We enter and I specify that we speak in French. Sherman
remains outside providing Overwatch. (Heh, get it?) We get passed most people.
Until we have to meet ShadowX’s contact Mole King. Yeah, a fucking Mole
Monarch. I really need to have that imperialism and monarchism discussion with
Gwen. Anyways I found a schematic on Mole King’s desk and was assessing it for
the best way in when from above we heard that the gate guard was missing and a
suspicious van was rolling up. Then gun shots. I lead us into the vent figuring
it for the best approach from the schematic.

I bust us down there and we found Portability in a power
suppressing cell after some talk I get him out with portals. Firefight ensues
between us and whatever thugs reached us fun. I help Gwen do that attack she
loves. I try contacting Sherman but radio silence. ShadowX gets portability to
get in the vent. I hesitate waiting for Gwen and I make sure she is out before
me. As we go through the vent it comes crashing down into a squad of GREY
soldiers with guns below.

“What do we say to the god of death?”

“Portal away”

I come crashing down into that GREY asshole from earlier who
gave us the good press kicking him off the building. ShadowX saves him
unfortunately. They had Sherman on the ground at gun point. Then an explosion
blasts us off the building all except for the Pollinator. Gwen grabs my wrist
and tosses me back onto the building. Grey asshole fires his pistol at
Pollinator as I land. Portal. What do we say to death? NOT TO-FUCKING-DAY. I
heard the bullet hit the asshole’s knee and Portability blink away a moment
away. The GREY goons fled.

ShadowX asked me  to
insult her on her stream and play villain. I am game. I like when the kids at
school look at me like I am some kinda pariah. It makes it all the better when
I prove them wrong and show them how I am the best hero.

Sherman, you did good. You don’t need to be a soldier. If
you read this please defy COLOR and GREY. Be your own person. I know I am an
asshole to you but that is the best kind of big brother, right? I want you to grow
to be your own hero not following someone else’s rules but your own.

Gwen. Thanks. I am so glad that you are my friend but we
really need to talk. I have so many problems and you wouldn’t know. I just I
needed my friend from basketball, the one who cried with me that night. I know
you are the Capitan to the team and needed to save the galaxy or whatever but I
just. I don’t know. I am a blusher and even thinking about shit like this has
me riled up. I hate that I need to define every relationship. So I am just
going to say I am glad you still think I am cool because you are still. Next
team though a hug would be nice when you get back

To summarize, Gwen, there’s rosemary, that’s for
remembrance; pray you, love, remember.

Police soon arrived we fled the scene. We left ShadowX to
explain the situation given the rest of ours problems with the police. We got a
call from Pollinator and received the information about Chimera from him. I
also found out he was a human trafficker. Thanks Gwen. Guess another one to the
bounty board.

I hope Cyclone doesn’t find out about this.

## Casting Shadows

Hey,

Haven’t write to anyone in a while. I ended martial law. I moved Zodiac city. I
came out to Rhi. I became…

me

Lavender, Tommy….

Orixa.

one thing I realize only now though is…

 Responsibility is hard work. Before I was just some punk trying at hero. Now I am a punk who has something to prove. I need to prove I deserve the mantle every time I wear it. I have done that easy as breathe for a while. I am a freedom fighter at heart as all good punks making it easy normally. However, I did not do that of late.

I ruined our image and I betrayed my legacy. I can sense it. I caught Rodriguez
though. I stopped Crimera from escaping their trial. I think my teammates are
looking to me as a leader. And worst of all I hate myself because I did it wrong. I tarnished my tradition and image with those actions. The spirits told
me that someone knows what I did to the girl, Rekken's little sister, and Rodriguez. That makes me
fearful. I am the Orixa though and I should know by now my shadow only grows.

Rhiannon was different for a while as well. She went somewhere
else. I could tell something about her energy was different. I did a bit of a
research on the way her aura had changed and I am worried.

Does she not trust me? Where did she go? If this happens
again…

We’ll have to talk about it.

For now, I will pressure one of the Du Lacs. They’ll know.
Tight as thieves those three.

Anyways in other news, grades have been fine. I got another offer for a college
but it is on the east coast. I might take it if I can’t prove myself.

I shouldn’t think like that but…

I hate this so much. There is too much to lose. Too much to prove.

To vovó. To Leo. To Rhi. To Alex. To Thorne. To mum. To Blackjack. To Gwen. To Rooster. To Cyclone. To fucking everyone. But especially…

to me.

Narcissistic, I know, but I need this more than anyone knows. I have helped saved the city and am one of the prodigies of my generation if I dwindle these powers…

Then someone else will need to step up and we don’t have the
time for that. I need to inspire something bigger than me. I have been thinking about this a lot.

I asked myself who am I? What do I want to be? Why do I have these powers? Why do I bear this name?

I thought about it and I came up with this. It doesn't answer everything but for me it is a start.

Shadows and flowers have something in common. They grow and grow in ways that you wouldn’t expect. People can do the same. But for many of us it is when and how do we bloom. It is simple. The answer is right there. You reach for the sun and continue growing.

## Basketball Diplomacy

Alright. First things first. Fuck that bitch Tilly Kepler.
She got me kicked from the basketball team. Why did she ditch? She ain’t a
super hero. Whatever though. I’ll get back.

Second. It’s shitty that Bom Trady won the super-bowl. I hear he is a Rodriguez
supporter and still reps him.

But what are you going to do?

Everything is still in shit, I guess.

Also apparently, I am big in the Mole Kingdom.

Well, we all were. Are? I don’t know Mole Culture is just slightly
different than “surface” culture but just enough to not make me understand it.
I am getting ahead of myself so let’s start at the beginning.

So on Super Bowl Sunday, some Mole Diplomat dude showed up in the Big Base.
Destroying our TV with his big ass drill/car/Underminer vehicle thing. I was a
little peeved. “I am important come visit our monarch.” So, we did. I don’t know why we all thought this was a good idea but we all did. I mean I had saw
the posting on the board for months and plus the TV just got destroyed so it
wasn’t like there was anything else to do. The us was Challenge, Gwen, and El/Lancelot.

So we got there checked out the Embassy (made for us surface dwellers) and I
got to have a little bit of a talk with El. They told me some stuff I needed to
know about Rhi. It confirmed my suspicion that she left for somewhere else without
telling. I believe with her aura it was the Inferno. That’s what it is recorded
in the Library of Ancestors. Seems to be the basis of the Dante myth. El told
me that it was dangerous and that was the worst part. I wish she had told me.

El and I had a bit of discussion. While Challenge and Gwen
talked about some other thing. We eventually agreed to go exploring some of the
city but before we could do that though we found a crowd of people berating us
for bringing surface world problems down to them. I explained that on the
surface there were a variety of factions that were all competing with each
other on the surface. This caused the crowd to leave with some understanding of
the surface or at least that their points were not as valid as they originally
though.

After that we got into the city and apparently the Molympics
was going on. There were posters of Gwen everywhere with a large red “x” through
each of them. Tons of people going towards the main stadium. Seemed like there
was a major event going on inside so we snuck in. Then got immediately caught
under a spotlight by the Mole King. (Need to get those Shadow stealth powers
transcend this mortal form or something) We got roped into a basketball game.

Challenge had a plan and has apparently played basketball before
so we made her captain and she did the strategy thing. I had to give El the run
down of the rules and kinda taught them to play in a dirty-style like me. I
probably shouldn’t have but y’know it worked out. Everyone did great. I
intimidated the Ref into playing a fair game! Challenge even set me up for a
game winning dunk. She’s pretty good. They all were it was awesome. The crowd
loved it as well. Their attitude had changed

Then we got an audience with the King and we managed to negotiate
a constitutional monarchy with some democratic representation. The King also
discussed how the Basketball game was a form of reconciliation with the
surface. We also agreed to fix the damage that Hesperus caused at some point.  We then set off to do that.

We began our attempt to fix Hesperus’ problems by unflooding
a district of the city. Gwen bent the water to flow into one of my portals
which led to the Bay of Quebec. We thought things were going well until
Challenge and El went to check on some commotion going on in the city. Challenge
came back a while later and told us that water was flooding into the city above
the main stadium and had been flooding the residential district. I encouraged
us to blame Hesperus for my mistake but no one agreed. Challenge said we go
help El because they had been containing the damage. We arrived and I saw what
I had drawn to this place or perhaps what came here of it’s own accord but the
Spirit was here. Yes that one. Nameless, it was influencing the moles. I got El
out (She almost fucking drowned Challenge and I resuscitated her afterwards) and
Challenge held off some of the mob. I ended the portal I don’t.

This was all on me and my inability to do anything about it irritated me. I had
wanted out of the situation earlier but now I needed to make up for it all. I got
into a bit of an argument with Challenge over whether we had to deal with this
or not. She really did not want to sort the problem out. I didn’t understand and
might have lashed out at her. Just a little…

We eventually got away to take care of the spirit which had formed into a mob
trying to tear into the kings castle and for a moment my revolutionary impulse
but I knew this spirit would damage these people and put a worse more
authoritarian ruler onto the throne. I could not stand that. I fought it I
drove it into the opening. We all struck together and we drove it away. For
now. This will trouble my legacy for some time.

We after some quelling returned to the surface. I had a
conversation about some stuff with El. You know genderfluidity. Me feeling like
a girl right now but not really knowing what to do or how to be comfortable
with all that. They made me feel good about it. Made me feel like I could deal
with it they even helped me figure some of it out. We choose some names and we
came down on… Adria. No one ever really helped me like that, I was probably
blushing the entire time. It was an awesome thing to have happened and they are
awesome for doing that.

I am feeling a lot better of it and I will probably talk
about it with some of my other teammates. I know Rhi knows but… I think I need
to let everyone know that for now I am a girl. I will tell them all. Even if my
nerves kill me.

*Below is a text transcript of me talking with Rhi about me finding out she had*
left for somewhere else after I confirmed it with El.

Tommy: "Hey, sooooooooo... you went to another dimension
without telling me?"

Rhi: "What? Oh! Well having my teleportation spell
hijacked to drop us in a pocket ocean dimension wasn't exactly planned... It
only just happened yesterday, and we left as soon as we could. Should I have-
called or something?"

Tommy: "Nah I meant like a couple weeks... I don't know
maybe just like let me know? But yeah it'd be like cool if you did. It really
felt like a breach of trust or whatever."

Rhi: "A couple of weeks? I- oh. Oh that... It's
something I'd been planning for a while and when the time came I really just
wanted it to be over. And then once it was, I just- wanted to put the whole
thing out of my mind. I didn't even think of talking to anyone about it, I'm-
I'm sorry. It was really important but you're right. I should have at least
told you :( "

Tommy: "It didn't feel nice... That's all dude. Thank
you for being so understanding but I think it'll be a little while till I feel
like I can trust you again"

Rhi: "Really...? But- I don't know, how do I avoid
something like this again? What was it exactly that broke your trust? I mean we
run off places and do hero things all the time without a heads up in advance,
so- why was this one so bad?"

Tommy: "I mean like going to another dimension is a big
deal. I think just communicate is the best way? I just am scared of being alone
that's all you getting stuck somewhere else or... just leaving."

Rhi: "I see... I never want to make you feel that way.
I'm so sorry, Tommy..."

Tommy: "It's fine... it'll work out"

## Diary of the Orixa (Chapter 255)

Written on February 14th
Well, there is a lot to go over. Isn’t there?

I am Adria Flores. Lavender.

I am the Orixa.

I suppose you know that by now.

I have learned a lot about myself while with Big Team but it seems to be
getting close to that time to move on. Y’know? Go on a spiritual journey. Fast
till my stomach is empty. See what I need to do. Find out my destiny. Maybe it
is in Halcyon? Maybe it is not on this world? I can’t tell but I will see.

I will probably stick around though because for now I am needed. Especially
since the One without Name is here or at least near. I have the bad boy
mystique and the charm to talk down villains and inspire people. We need a lot
of that in these days.

[[Parrot]], [[Elle]], [[Hesperus]], and I exposed Rodriguez to the public. I
unfortunately released him and some deep shadow spirit from our Sanctuary but
problems for another day. We, fortunately, also released Shady [Insert whatever
his super name was. (Writer? Does that mean he writes smut?)] and that’ll be
good for [[Rhiannon]]. She needs something good to come her way after our
breakup. I am sorry, Rhi. Sometimes I forget all that has happened since I have
come to Halcyon.

Nonetheless, we had the helped of my mother, who I had called in a favour with,
and Shady when we finally confronted Elzinga, the AI holding the blackmail over
Parrot. They helped with our plan to cause Rodriguez slip up. Which happened after
we demeaned his importance to [[GREY]], we recorded Rodriguez confessing his
powers and his crimes which while we took some hard hits for. Parrot managed to
publicly use that information to turn Halcyon against Rodriguez leaving GREY
with no legitimate face.

We got into a bit of a fight with Yamato and some GREY ninjas who attacked when
we tried to take Rodriguez back. This resulted in Rodriguez getting away and
El, Gabe, and mother dearest chasing Yamato so we wouldn’t lose all the leaders
of GREY. El returned carrying my mother and Hesperus who had both taken some
serious damage in their fight trying to catch Yamato. Rodriguez managed to slip
off during this. Shady Rider, Hesperus’ lion, and I had held off the ninja’s.
Elle returned carrying mother and Hesperus all three of them were pretty beat
up. We waited for the arrival of emergency and Elle and I had a bit of a talk.
It was nice. She is a really great person despite being an aristocrat. I think
we all need to learn a little more about fighting for what we believe in.

After everyone left, I teleported home, rushed the washroom and puking into the
toilet as I do every time after a mission. No matter the stakes. It is here
where I reflect best after that puke. I thought about what it meant for us to
get no one but expose Rodriguez. Was that victory? What should I as one of the next
generation do? What did my predecessors do? What they needed. Vovo became a
symbol of defiance and opposing the system. Mother worked within it. She tried
to have change come from the inside. Politicking, negotiating with power
holders and making deals. Infernal contracts with the devils themselves. She is
seen as a hero though and has a much a larger following than the smaller one of
Vovo.

I need to be a revolutionary that looks good on TV. Play my cards write pick my
battles. As much as it hurts to think of them as not my friends, the Big Team
isn’t wanting change. We try to maintain an equilibrium of stability. I need to
find those who share my ideals. I need to make them. The supers of the new
generation will understand that they need to do more than just beat up bad
guys. Some already know this but we need to make it the core part of our
generation. The defining trait. No more of this edgy shit where you hide your dark
past. You bring it to the front.

The past is what dictates the present. It must be acknowledged. I am a hero
from a long-line of HEROES. All of whom were agents of change in some manner. I
am to be that as well. Perhaps lurking in the shadows or blooming in the light.
We will see.

To be really honest, I am scared of what is to come. I think everyone is.
Halcyon has beaten GREY for now. This has left many other problems that remain
unresolved but GREY seems to have been defeated for now.

We’ll talk more about GREY’s defeat in the next part but for now, we’ll all be
doing what we can I am sure.

Oh also I got with Parrot kind of. It's open but like idk there are some problems there that I'll talk about next time.

## Legacy

I had walked down a shifting hallway
of shadows. Which one was it? The *GREAT*
LIBRARY *that my vovo loved to talk about each day*. *Well wasn’t much of a library. More like the world’s biggest*
catalog of stories. Except without all the writing and such. I mean there were
a few books mostly various books in Arabic and Portuguese. (Only could read the
latter but I am taking a guess on that last one. Vovo has been trying to teach
it to me but it doesn’t click as easy like Yoruba or Portuguese.) The rest of the
information was contained by spirits. Guardian Ori, kinda like extensions on my
ancestor’s spirit the thing that allows their reincarnation if we are destined
to, whatever doesn’t matter they also act as preservers of knowledge. They know
the tales and they know the past. A past, I needed to know, I knew the newer
stuff. Y’know they are the kinda stories that you’re told when you’re little
but I needed to know the harder ones. The ones where Orixas tried to fight and
lost because the Oyo did not do there duties or because we did not realize that
the Oba wasn’t needed. My ancestors have told me what I need to know. Their
tribulations and their duties and their loves. I found out which Orixa are tied
my personal destiny as well and it makes a lot of sense. The Blessed Exú and
Proud Oyá. Explains why I love running in the rain. The time has come though I
am not an Orixa of balance this much has been said. They say my path is one of
rebirth and reconstitution. Some say that my successor is personified by Shango
and is to be an Oba. While this is all well and good, destiny may be inevitable
and I need to fulfill it. That doesn’t help me get over this nagging feeling of
the real world though. The League of Heroes is not mentioned in my grand
destiny. There is no time stamp on any of these stories so I don’t even know
when they are from. I think I talked to my Avo’s Ori but who knows. The problem
with destiny, time, the future, death, rebirth, and all of that is the whose
who and the when don’t really matter. Things will happen no matter what.

This is why I have decide to write
down some of the general things the Guardian Ori have made me promise in return
for their wisdom.

·
Firstly, the Orixa’s first duty is protect what
they love in the face of sacrifice.

·
Secondly, destiny is inevitable. We all must fulfill
ours. We will not submit to the will of others.

·
Thirdly, spirits are our connection to past and
future. We must protect them to maintain what was and will be.

·
Fourthly, we must protect those that have not.
Those with chains visible and not.

·
Fifthly, the Orixa is not an Orixa. We are not
gods. We are conduits. Our spirits connected to theirs. We show humility to not
put ourselves above them.

·
Sixthly, the Orixa must remembers the tales when
learn them and retell them for the next to need them.

·
Seventhly, the most important rule is the first
one.

·
Finally, we will repeat this four over.

This is why I have decide to write
down some of the general things the Guardian Ori have made me promise in return
for their wisdom.

·
Firstly, the Orixa’s first duty is protect what
they love in the face of sacrifice.

·
Secondly, destiny is inevitable. We all must fulfill
ours. We will not submit to the will of others.

·
Thirdly, spirits are our connection to past and
future. We must protect them to maintain what was and will be.

·
Fourthly, we must protect those that have not.
Those with chains visible and not.

·
Fifthly, the Orixa is not an Orixa. We are not
gods. We are conduits. Our spirits connected to theirs. We show humility to not
put ourselves above them.

·
Sixthly, the Orixa must remembers the tales when
learn them and retell them for the next to need them.

·
Seventhly, the most important rule is the first
one.

·
Finally, we will repeat this four over.

This is why I have decide to write
down some of the general things the Guardian Ori have made me promise in return
for their wisdom.

·
Firstly, the Orixa’s first duty is protect what
they love in the face of sacrifice.

·
Secondly, destiny is inevitable. We all must fulfill
ours. We will not submit to the will of others.

·
Thirdly, spirits are our connection to past and
future. We must protect them to maintain what was and will be.

·
Fourthly, we must protect those that have not.
Those with chains visible and not.

·
Fifthly, the Orixa is not an Orixa. We are not
gods. We are conduits. Our spirits connected to theirs. We show humility to not
put ourselves above them.

·
Sixthly, the Orixa must remembers the tales when
learn them and retell them for the next to need them.

·
Seventhly, the most important rule is the first
one.

·
Finally, we will repeat this four over.

This is why I have decide to write
down some of the general things the Guardian Ori have made me promise in return
for their wisdom.

·
Firstly, the Orixa’s first duty is protect what
they love in the face of sacrifice.

·
Secondly, destiny is inevitable. We all must fulfill
ours. We will not submit to the will of others.

·
Thirdly, spirits are our connection to past and
future. We must protect them to maintain what was and will be.

·
Fourthly, we must protect those that have not.
Those with chains visible and not.

·
Fifthly, the Orixa is not an Orixa. We are not
gods. We are conduits. Our spirits connected to theirs. We show humility to not
put ourselves above them.

·
Sixthly, the Orixa must remembers the tales when
learn them and retell them for the next to need them.

·
Seventhly, the most important rule is the first
one.

·
Finally, we will repeat this four over.

I have not only written this down
but told it to both Phattus Cattus and Big Chungus. It is not required of the Orixa
to swear this but it is good guidelines that I have gotten some consensus on.

In conclusion, I have taken too
long to think on this and have isolated myself a great deal. My only worry is
that I am not enough to balance my destiny and my life. The mundane is escaping
me if it hasn’t already. I am still passing school but I am more of a spirit
than ever drifting past my teammates and classmates and friends into the
endless void. Letting my life become just my mask. I don’t know if I can take
more pressure from this League of Heroes BS and Elle and Parrot both joining
it. It’s just *ugh*. I am leaving the Big
Team soon and there will be no love lost. I am bigger than some rinky dink teen
superhero crap. I love the team all dearly and I know I should be humble but I have no choice in Big Team
internal affairs and I will only affiliate my hero work with those that I think
are doing right by me. It doesn’t make sense to be a hero that is against the
League but works with them anyways. It defeats your purpose as being anti-League
because it makes them more effective. I am not finishing those other chapters
in the journal, I apologize. The journal isn’t my thing. I am gonna keep it traditional.