Intelligent Listening for Beginners (TV story)

***Intelligent Listening for Beginners*** was the third episode of the first series of *Star Cops*, written by Chris Boucher and directed by Christopher Baker. It was broadcast on BBC 2 on 20 July 1987. It saw both Colin Devis and Pal Kenzy being officially recruited to Commander Nathan Spring's core team on Moonbase.

## Synopsis

Spring and Theroux are called to a Moon outpost owned by millionaire Michael Chandri, who deals in listening devices and bugging equipment. There, Chandri informs them that he heard of plans of a Moon shuttle highjack that is to occur very soon. Meanwhile, Devis and Kenzy are on their way to the Moonbase after being personally requested to join Nathan's core team, but Nathan seems to have a bone to pick with Kenzy.

## Plot

At a processing plant on Earth, an engineer is baffled by the message "a rose that art sick" on his screen. He asks the other two workers who's the one pulling practical jokes, but they aren't paying him attention. One of the others states that there's an emergency with an out of phase second process line. The computer doesn't respond for him, disabling him from fixing it. The third process line goes down as they all rush around attempting to fix it. They hit the alarm, and run out. Another message appears on the screen: "The invisible worm that flies in the night". All the scientists and engineers flee the building. Explosions tear through the facility.

Meanwhile, at the Moonbase, as Spring works alongside Box, Theroux enters and impatiently asks him if he's ready, reminding him that the drive to Outpose Nine is the longest drive. Watching WWBC News, Spring seems to be keeping an eye on the explosion at the aforementioned factory. With Theroux added his thoughts that TWBC, the providers of the news footage, being corrupted, Spring very hastily adds that he thinks Inspector Hubble, the only other American serving officer is also corrupt. Theroux angrily suggests that Spring finds evidence for that accusation. Spring makes it clear that he's suspicious of Kenzy too, but Theroux warns him off both of them.

Theroux and Spring are in Moon Rover 7 heading for Outpost Nine. Theroux is furious to find that Spring is planning on firing Hubble and Kenzy without giving them another chance or at least a warning. The rover stops suddenly with a warning beep. Theroux explains to Spring that they've reached a security parameter. They provide the computer with voice identification to allow the vehicle to continue. They continue to drive for a few seconds until they're stopped again. This time, Theroux doesn't know why they've stopped. The computer explains that it has located Box and requires further voice identification to allow them to continue. Spring notes that there's a lot of security for one small outpost.

At Outpost Nine, Michael Chandri is curiously inspecting Box, but Spring politely takes it off him. As they explore the base, Spring states that Chandri has a lot of security and certain military involvements. He then cuts to the chase, wanting to know why Chandri sent for them. They enter his office. Spring is impressed by how much unnessary stuff is around his office, in regards to the weight limitations of an Earth to Moon flight, leading him to assume Chandri has friends in freight business. Chandri claims it was all paid for. Chandri then states that he brought them to Outpost Nine to help *them*, not the other way around. He tells them that an extremist group is planning to highjack an Earth-Moon shuttle, to which Spring starts to pay full attention. Chandri claims the Organisation of Pancontinental Anarchists plan to do this soon. The group apparently calls themselves the Black Hand Gang, or BHG for short. Spring wishes to know why he dragged them all the way out here to talk in person, rather than relay this information via other means. Upon explaining that perhaps they shouldn't trust the reliability of carrier waves, Spring finally understands that their business is communications monitoring. Spring demands to know whether Chandri did a test run on his listening devices, which resulted in him accidentally acquiring information on the Black Hand Gang, to which Chandri calls their meeting to an end. He assures Spring that they are on the same side. Spring states that it wasn't long ago that a friend of his was killed by someone on his side.

In the rover, Spring is certain that Chandri was hiding something. He tells Theroux that he may need to start listening more and talking less. Back on Outpost Nine, Chandri is rewatching the news footage. His computer tells him that a further worm has been identified, giving him precise location details. In the rover, Spring is of the opinion that Chandri was scared but didn't trust them enough to tell them what the problem was. When Theroux asks about his intuition, Spring suggests they call it an "intelligent listening system for beginners".

Waves crash on a beach. A train races down a metro line. In the underground train office, a member of personnel relieves another from duty. As the worker complains about the sixteen new trains placed on the line today, the new arrival explains that the Eurotunnel is a business. As they argue, behind them on the screen, the message "A Rose Thou Art Sick" appears. Leo, the personnel readying himself to leave, claims that the people who run the Eurotunnel have no idea about security despite warning them. Leo notices that the display flickered for a second. Ben, the other member, notices it too. Ben then reports it to central control. A new message appears on screen: "The Invisible Worm That Flies in the Night". Two shuttles then collide.

On the Moon, while watching about the multiple wreckages in the Channel Tunnel on WWBC News, he is informed that Kenzy wishes to see him. Spring and Theroux enter the ISPF office to see Kenzy watching the news footage with her feet on the desk. Spring turns the screen off, causing Kenzy to get up and greet him. Kenzy is trying to show Spring a weapon created by the Australians for the High Frontier. She explains that you can tune the rays of the gun to target not only skin, but specific pigmentation, causing Theroux to angrily respond that the police have finally created a "racist gun". Spring plainly tells her that they're not interested in her gun, in fact he doesn't usually carry any gun, much to Kenzy's disappointment. He turns on footage of Kenzy being rather nasty and threatening towards someone, causing Spring to reveal his intention of firing her. Devis walks and it's made clear that he was the one being threatened in the video, but he was in disguise. Kenzy storms out, and Devis introduces himself formally to Theroux, but Theroux isn't happy at the thought that Nathan's been testing him too. At Spring's request, Devis steps out. Theroux feels that, yet again, he's been left out of a plan. Spring explains that he runs things his way and no other. To further confuse matters, Spring throws Theroux a police badge stating that it's his promotion. As Devis is called back in, Spring gives them the task of "sorting out" Officer Hubble. As Spring gets some sleep in preparation for a bigger case, Devis and Theroux set about trying to get their hands on Kenzy's weapon.

On a rocket, Spring sits on the floor of his cabin with Box on his sleeping bag. He tells Box that Lee's death may have affected his judgement as a cop. He asks Box to give him information on the Black Hand Gang. According to Box, the BHG was a criminal organisation formed in America in 1868. The Black Hand was Spanish anarchists repressed in 1883. Spring found it ironic that the new Black Hand Gang had accidentally named themselves after something criminal and not anarchistic or political. He notes that they make a simple error with the naming of their organisation, yet they're intelligent enough to avoid detection by Chandri's machines. Before heading to sleep, he instructs Box to monitor all news programmes with reference to "computer failures".

The next day, Spring and Devis are speaking over screen. Devis informs Spring that it was Chandri who developed their dangerous and sought after weapon. They end the conversation, leaving both Spring and Theroux confused in the ISPF office. Theroux states that it was always Chandri's father who was the inventor, not his son. Box interrupts them suggesting that it reckons the lines used by the Black Hand Gang are lines from Blake. Upon remembering that Chandri was a Blake fan, this just leaves them with one option - to revisit Outpost Nine. As he leaves for Outpost Nine, Spring gives a very warm welcome to Inspector Kirk Hubble who has just given Theroux the order to fire. He then leaves.

Later, as Spring is driving to Outpost Nine, he speaks to Theroux about Hubble's firing and his and Kenzy's replacements but the feed breaks up. Meanwhile, Earthside, Kenzy is sitting aboard a rocket, parked in the space station. From above, she is asked whether the seat next to her is taken. To her annoyance, she finds that it's Devis. Kenzy reveals that once the ISPF started placing direct orders for their weapons, she immediately lost her "inside contact". They enter a personal conversation and Devis reveals he's been married and divorced five times. Meanwhile, Spring arrives safely at Outpost Nine.

Spring walks into Chandri's office, interrupting his work. Chandri discusses how he never made his gun to impress his father, as his father was never impressed. He thrusts a circuit board into Spring's hands. The board is from one of his father's control panels and tells Spring that there's something wrong with it: "the invisible worm that flies in the night". Meanwhile, the rocket carrying Kenzy and Devis takes off. Back on Outpost Nine, Chandri explains that within his father's computer board, there is a basic computer virus programmed in that is self-replicating. It can spread itself to any computer except military. He explains the virus (or worm) remains dormant within a specific chip until it receives the order: "o rose, thou art sick". Once activated, the worm seeks out the main computer in the system and kills it. The worm then self-destructs the system with the message: "the invisible worm that flies in the night". Chandri states that this was the final thing his intelligent listening device heard before the worm entered his system and destroyed it. Spring isn't completely convinced. He wishes to know if that were true, why they are still here. As he lunges for Chandri's weapon, Chandri beats him to it and points the gun at him.

On the rocket, now in space and zero gravity, a passenger Wilburforce is asked to enter the flight deck. Kenzy is disturbed and explains to Devis quietly that that is a security code, meaning that there is a crime in progress. Kenzy reveals that she has smuggled a weapon on board and heads to the front of the rocket. Back on Outpost Nine, Chandri explains that he had to perform those worm tasks as he was failing to report back any useful information to the military. Spring asks what he will do if they are interrupted but Chandri answers that by showing Spring a pile of dead bodies on his viewscreen. He explains that the computer chips containing the virus was his idea. He had convinced the manufacturers that they were a "modification". He states that on the back of the conspiracy theories circulating about the previous explosions, once he replicates it on the Outpost, he will be asked to personally look into it. Spring taunts him about his father and snatches the fun off of him. Before them, on the screen, a message appears: "o rose, those art sick". Spring desperately tries to instruct the dying security computer. As Chandri tries to snatch the gun back, Nathan fires, sending Chandri to the floor.

Back on the rocket Kenzy and Devis are making their way to the cockpit. Spring is hastily making his way towards the exit. In the rocket's cockpit, a group of people are removing the pilots from their seats. Situated by door, Kenzy and Devis are biding their time. Spring suits up but struggles to get out. Devis decides to pretend to be a punter and blunder on in there, while Kenzy acts officer. Devis enacts his plan, pulling the hostess out of the way of Kenzy, who shoots one of the attackers dead. Spring has made it to his moon rover but the main hatch won't open. Within the Outpost, the entire place is malfunctioning. Not long left to complete destruction. With the hatch doors finally opened, Spring speeds out. Kenzy takes a desperate shot another attacker who is has thrown a glass ball, even more dangerous in weightlessness. The moonrover continues to speed off. Kenzy is following the glass ball, desperately trying to catch it, which she manages. Behind Spring, Outpost Nine explodes in a ball of flame. Breathless, he stops the moonrover, takes off his helmet and takes a deep breath or two. In the rocket, Devis checks on Kenzy. They share a laugh with Kenzy stating that she'd like to see Spring try to fire her now.

Later, in the ISPF Moonbase office, TWBC News reports that Michael Chandri had "sacrificed" himself, and that further investigations would be made. Spring and Theroux walk in together, chatting. The news then changes the story to Pal Kenzy and Colin Devis being interviewed about the rescue of the rocket her and Devis had been on. Acting like a Star Cops officer, Kenzy credits Nathan Spring himself as "acting on a tip" and sending them there to investigate. Theroux asks whether he going to reinstate her. Displeased, he tells Theroux that she's clearly reinstating herself. Earthside, Kenzy continues to sing Spring's praises. Meanwhile, Theroux gives a very amused laugh at Spring's expense.

## Cast

* Nathan Spring - David Calder
* David Theroux - Erick Ray Evans
* Colin Devis - Trevor Cooper
* Pal Kenzy - Linda Newton
* Michael Chandri - David John Pope
* Leo - Trevor Butler
* Ben - Thomas Coulthard
* Shuttle hostess - Tara Ward
* Shift foreman - Peter Quince
* Process operator - Peter Glancy

## Crew

* Stunt operator - Gareth Milne
* Series devised by - Chris Boucher
* Production associate - Ian R. Wallace
* Production manager - Gary Downie
* Production assistant - Karen Jones
* Assistant floor manager - Betsan Morris-Evans
* Video effects supervisor - Robin Lobb
* Visual effects designers - Mike Kelt, Malcolm James
* O.B. Cameraman - Trevor Wimlett
* O.B. Lighting - John Wiggins
* O.B. Sound - Ian Leiper
* Technical co-ordinator - Peter Granger
* Studio camera supervisor - Garth Tucker
* Graphic design - Charles McGhie
* Properties buyer - Chris Ferriday
* Videotape editor - Dennis Collett
* Vision mixer - Jim Stephens
* Studio lighting - Chris Townsend
* Studio sound - Chick Anthony, Richard Chubb
* Costume designer - Lynda Woodfield
* Make-up designer - Jill Hagger
* Theme composed and sung by - Justin Hayward
* Incidental music - Justin Hayward, Tony Visconti
* Script editor - Joanna Willett
* Designer - Dick Coles
* Producer - Evgeny Gridneff
* Director - Christopher Baker

## References

* WWBC News' report on the Bankside explosion used video footage taken by another news station, TWBC.
* The murder of Lee Jones is still fresh on Nathan's mind.
* The terms "Channel Tunnel" and "Eurotunnel" are used interchangeably.

## Story notes

* The name of this episode is a jokey name that Nathan gives to his intuition: "an intelligent listening system for beginners".
* This story continues the ongoing theme throughout the *Star Cops* TV and audio series about fathers and their sons. In this story, we see Michael Chandri in the shadow of his forever displeased father, a deceased but still famous inventor. Spring and Theroux even debate whether or not Chandri was trying to impress his father from beyond his grave. Chandri had modified his father's own equipment to cause the explosions, so that he could later be seen as a victim who turns hero, thus gaining notoriety and military reward, through contracts. Even when his plan was foiled and Nathan Spring had no alternative but to kill him, the news reported his death as a "sacrifice" and suggesting that his father "would be proud". You could argue that this ongoing narrative arc is an inverse with the son being the disappoint of the family, and not the father.

## Continuity

* Spring tells Chandri that it wasn't long ago that a friend of his was killed by someone who claimed to be on his side. He is referring to the brutal murder of his partner, Lee Jones, by a British spy, Corman. (TV: *Conversations with the Dead*)

## Home video releases

* In 1991, all episodes of the television series were made available on VHS over three tapes by BBC Video. Later, in 2004, the entire series was released on DVD by Network Video over three discs, which included documentaries and as well as numerous interviews.