Scream Queens - Wikia Edition/Pilot

**Pilot** is the first episode of Scream Queens - Wikia Edition.

*Chelsea Avenue was getting her manicure when her best friends, Chelsea #2 and Chelsea #3 just entered the room.*

**Chelsea #2:** Chelsea, we're back!

**Chelsea:** Oh finally! I thought you dumb bitches were ran over by a car or something.

**Chelsea #3:** We bought the CD of the Spice Girls.

**Chelsea #2:** WE?! We used just MY money. You were too busy admiring the cashier!

**Chelsea #3:** He was hot, what was I supposed to do?

**Chelsea:** Look, just make sure the DJ will get it by the beginning of the party, this is going to be amazing!

*Chelsea stands up.*

**Chelsea:** I just need Liam to be here so we can have hardcore sex while the others will be dancing like sweaty pigs.

**Chelsea #3:** Some people are really good dancers though.

**Chelsea:** I was talking about you too, #3.

**Chelsea:** Oh.

***19:15 - Kappa Kappa Tau - Main Hallway***

*Chelsea and #3 were talking to the other pledges, #2 was taking a shower.*

**Chelsea:** And then I said 'no come on, it's not like I want it or something'--

*Someone screams.*

**Chelsea:** What the hell?!

**Chelsea #3:** They're probably listening their favorite single from the Spice Girls. Everyone knows they're amazing.

*Chelsea and #3 ran to the bathroom where Chrissy, one of the pledges, screamed.*

**Chrissy:** S-she's dead. *(pointing to the person in the shower)* I have to call the police!

*The water was running, Chelsea #2's lifeless body was laying in the shower.*

**Chelsea #3:** Looks like she fell and hit her head.

**Chelsea:** Jeez, what the heck is my statue doing on the floor?

*A small statue of a woman with long hair was on the floor.*

**Chelsea #3:** What is your statue doing here?

**Chelsea:** I don't know but I can say #2 was a big thief!

**Chelsea #3:** It was you Chelsea, wasn't it? *(smirks)*

**Chelsea:** W-what?

**Chelsea #3:** You killed Chelsea #2.

### *KAPPA KAPPA TAU - 2017*

*My name is Mandy Dylan, and I'm the queen of Kappa Kappa Tau. These are my Whores, and they are known as: **Lizzy Daw,** AKA Whore #2. I remember the first time I met her at the Grinder:*

### ***FLASHBACK***

**Lizzy:** ...And I want my Pumpkin Spice Latte extra hot, so go work on it, you waste of sperm

**Mandy:** Wow, girl. You are one of the most selfish, stuck-up little spoiled bitches I have ever met. Wanna join my sorority?

**Lizzy:** Let's make a deal, you buy me every Pokemon game in existence, and in return I'll join your sorority.

**Mandy:** Whatevs.

### ***FLASHBACK OFF***

*Then we have **Viola Clowell**, AKA Whore #3. I don't really see her that often because she always hangs out at the Dickie Dollar Scholars with the guys. She's really nice for a slut, go figure. And then, we have **Olivia D'Vine**, AKA Whore #5. Who is a real pain in the ass. She brags about how she will become a succesful lawyer. But I do respect that she's able to get what she want. She just didn't need to be so shitty! There was a Whore #4, but one night, we were playing Pokemon Go, and she wanted to go to a haunted house, and I said "No, stay!" but she went anyways and then she got ran over by an ice cream truck. So another thing I was right about.*
Olivia D'Vine walked into Mandy's room. She seemed really agitated.

**Olivia**: Mandy, something important happened.

**Mandy**: *(yells)* WHAAAT?! What do you want? Shouldn't you go tanning or something?

**Olivia**: The dean wants to talk with you.

**Mandy**: UGH, WHAT THE HELL DOES HE WANT?!

### ***Main Building - Dean's Office***

*Mr. Mark Russel is the new dean of Wallace University. Cathy Munsch left last year and no one heard from her anymore.*

**Mandy**: So, what the heck am I doing here? Am I your sex toy or something?

**Dean Russel**: *(laughs)* You're nothing like that Mandy.

**Mandy**: Aww come on! You were supposed to say 'YES' so this will mean I'm sexy as hell. I feel disappointed now.

**Dean Russel**: I was thinking about your filthy sorority, also called 'Kappa Kappa Tau'.

**Mandy**: Filthy sororities? Is this a new fetish or something?

**Dean Russel**: I'm going to cut to the chase, Mandy. You represent everything wrong with the world. You know, I thought that Dean Munsch was a representation of the shitty world, trying to make it seem like women are the best thing, that's why we have Clinton as our dumbest president yet. Sure it might have saved us from Trump, but Clinton's no better here. Also probably why there have been lots of porn lesbian movies being released in small theaters...

**Mandy**: So? What's the point of this?

**Dean Russel**: Jeez Mandy, don't you get it?

**Mandy**: Huh?

**Dean Russel**: My snake is ready to be set free.

**Mandy**: So you REALLY want my body. Mmh sure, let the snake be alive in the wild forest.

### ***Wallace University Park - Outside***

*Olivia and Lizzy were out for a walk. The latter was carefully looking her phone.*

**Olivia**: I still don't understand what are we doing here.

**Lizzy**: Shut up, I know there's a Chandelure out here and I can't let that little bitch escape.

**Olivia**: That's not the time for looking after some random creepy monsters.

**Lizzy**: *(sighs)* #4 was always ready to go Pokemon-hunting with me. She was the best Pokemon trainer I have ever met. I always traded with her. She told me once 'Do you wanna trade my Jynx for your Electabuzz?' and I was so happy because I was so looking for one. Jynx is also one of my favorite Pokemon.

**Olivia**: I'm sure she lives in a paradise full of these mo-....Pokemon. Maybe she's playing with one of them right now.

**Lizzy**: I'm sure she owns a Magikarp, waiting for it to become a strong Gyarados.

The two girls stopped. Lizzy was still looking for her Pokemon while Olivia was watching a couple.

**Olivia**: Who the heck is Mike kissing?

**Lizzy**: Omg I found it!

**Olivia**: I will slap that bitch so hard.

Mike Fatima was kissing one of the other students, Jenny Purg. Mike was Olivia's ex-boyfriend.

**Olivia**: *(coughs)* Um um

**Mike**: *(Jenny and him look at her)* Yo Olivia! Wassup?

**Jenny**: Who is this bitch?

**Olivia**: I can't believe you have already found someone to replace me!

**Jenny**: Wait, is this one of the Kappa dumbies?

**Olivia**: I'M SORRY?

**Mike:** Yeaaaah cat fight!

**Lizzy**: *(suddenly arrives)* I finally caught that little bitch! What did I miss?

**Jenny**: Can you please tell your friend to shut the hell up? I'm trying to kiss my boyfriend.

**Olivia**: *(screams)* THAT'S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!

**Lizzy**: *(to Olivia)* Stop now. I caught my Pokemon so we can head back. Mandy is going to be back and we need to prepare the party for tonight.

**Olivia**: *(to Jenny)* It won't end like this, bitch!

Olivia *and Lizzy go back to the Kappa House, ready for the welcome of the new pledges later that night.*

**Mike**: Are you still planning to join that sorority? That house is full of crazy bitches.

**Jenny**: *(smiles)* Of course, it will be funny.

### ***Dickie Dollar Scholars Building - Outside***

*Donna Palmer was looking outside the building along with her new friend Jaz Fields.*

**Donna:** This house is full of hot boys.

**Jaz:** I know right. That's like the only place where you can find them.

**Donna:** So, who are we waiting for?

**Jaz:** My friend is making out with one of them. She's going to arrive soon.

**Donna:** She will join the Kappa Sorority too?

**Jenny:** Obvi you little bitch.

**Jaz:** Finally you're here.

**Donna:** Um, nice to meet you.. ?

**Jenny:** We have to go, the party is going to start very soon.

*The three girls head to Kappa House. Meanwhile, someone was watching them from somewhere..*

### ***Dickie Dollar Scholars Building - Inside -***

**Mike:** Dang, they're so hot.

*Mike Fatima was looking the girls from the window of Mike's room in the DDS building.*

**Nathan:** Dude don't be such a creepy stalker.

**Tom:** Isn't that blonde chick your girlfriend?

**Mike:** Kinda, she's planning to join the Kappa House. I hope she'll come back alive.

**Tom:** Kinda? Well dude, we're talking about Kappa Kappa Tau.

*Suddenly, Mandy enters the room. She needs to talk with Tom.*

**Tom:** Can you leave, please?

**Mike:** Dude, that's my room. YOU go out.

**Tom:** Ugh, fine.

*Mandy talks about the dean and how he called her to his office.*

**Mandy:** ... And long story short. I really am in the mood to kill the dean.

**Tom:** Well I just want you to know Mandy, I'm here for you.

**Mandy:** UGH TOM!

**Tom:** What?

**Mandy:** You are so supportive, what the hell is the matter with you?

**Tom:** I'm sorry?

**Mandy:** Oh you should be sorry, you are always sorry for every little mistake that you do! I'm tired of you being so nice, like take risks!

**Tom:** Wow Mandy, seriously?

**Mandy:** *(yells)* UGH TOM, I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!

**Tom:** Mandy, what the hell? Are you on drugs?

**Mandy:** I did what I did, and now I got to go. Pledges are waiting for me.

*Mandy leaves, leaving a confused Tom in the hallway. Nathan comes out from Mike's room.*

**Nathan:** So she dumped you, huh?

**Tom:** Ugh she's so annoying, she doesn't understand I want the best for her.

**Nathan:** She doesn't understand *(he touches Tom's shoulder)*

**Tom:** Nathan, c'mon...

**Nathan:** Umm, I am the president of Dickie, you need to do what I say.

**Tom:** Is Haggy Wronchie the president of Dickie too?

**Nathan:** UGH.. but just so you know Tommy. I will be watching.

*Nathan leaves.*

### ***Kappa House - Main Hall - 21:00***

*The house was full of pledges. Everyone was talking about how cool their year will be at a fashionable sorority like that.*

*Donna Palmer, Jenny Perg and Jaz Fields were talking to two other girls.*

**Harley:** So, get it? I'm Harley Quinn from like the DC comics? My parents were big superhero fans and they didn't want to name me Barbara Gordon because Barbara was the name of my dad's 13th lover. I think he has 67 by now.

**Donna:** I can't believe I'm actually here, it feels like a dream! Please, slap me to see if I'm sleeping!

*Jaz slaps her. Jenny laughs.*

**Jaz:** You're not sleeping,bitch!

**Harley:** *(to Jenny)* Love the Enchantress look, by the way!

**Jenny:** Huh, are you flirting with me?

**Harley:** No no, it's because you are..!

**Maid:** Would you like some champaigne?

*Jaz, Donna and Jenny take four glasses of champaigne.*

**Harley:** *(to Jenny)* So, you really do look like...!

**Donna:** Shut up and drink. *(gives the glass to Harley)*

**Donna:** Hey, someone is coming!

*In the hallway, the Whores are waiting for the big moment to make their special entrance*

**Mandy:** The dean and I had sex this afternoon. We did it like, on the table and on the couch.

**Olivia:** Ew isn't he like 50?

**Mandy:** Well yeah but as much as I enjoyed being spotted by someone so this means I'm hot, I want to kill that slut. I'm so done with him.

**Lizzy:** Jeez, there's a Dragonite where all the pledges are talking. Can I just catch it and be back, please?

**Mandy:** OMG NO #2! We have to do a big entrance! Stop playing like a 6-years old brat.

**Lizzy:** *(frowning)* How could you offend my GODS! You're a dead woman now.

**Mandy:** Whatevs, the only thing dead is the battery of your phone after playing that much.

**Lizzy:** *(looks at her phone)* Oh come on, is 5%! It's all your fault Mandy!

**Mandy:** Shut up and let's go, the world is waiting for us.

*The Whores arrive at the Main Hall but meanwhile an unexpected visitor arrives. Dean Mark Russel.*

**Dean Russel:** *(shouts)* Sister and pledges of Kappa Kappa Tau!

**Mandy:** What the hell is he doing here.

**Dean Russel:** Me and my new assistant Harley Bean *(points at him) want to make a toast to the new year of Kappa Kappa Tau.*

**Olivia:** *(yells)* OBJECTION! *(points her finger to the dean)*

*Everyone silently stares at the girl.*

**Olivia:** *(embarassed)* Um, you're not supposed to be here! No one invited you

**Dean Russel:** Didn't Mandy tell you that I told her I was going to be here?

*Everyone look at Mandy.*

**Mandy:** Oh... yeah! I totally forgot, I'm so sorry, Mr. Dean.

**Dean Russel:** Now.. hope I'll able to continue..... I was thinking about what made Kappa Kappa Tau so great in 2016, and then I realized. After our dear Dean Cathy Munsch left to.. I don't know what the hell she's doing now, there have been rumors she will be on a hospital or something. But what she did good was apply that anyone can join the sorority, and after that rule was demolished by our brief murdered dean Bobby Sykes, may he rest in pain, that sexist little bitch, I think applying that rule again would bring what made a year of Kappa so great, back on its feet. So, the doors are open to the public!

*Almost all the pledges exit the KKT house.*

**Mandy:** *(to the Dean)* YOU LITTLE BISEXUAL BITCH! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO COME!

**Dean Russel:** You probably forgot because we were having so. much. fun. *(smirks)*

**Lizzy:** What a pedo.

**Harley:** If they'll do something bad again at you, can I kill them?

**Viola:** If a killer will be on the loose, we'll know who's behind the mask!

**Lizzy:** The dean's bitch is always the bad one.

**Donna:** Someone knows where is the bathroom?

*Everyone stares at Donna.*

**Dean Russel:** *(smiles)* This is going to be a new year full of life and happy sororities. Have fun, Mandy!

*The dean and his assistant leave. Mandy angrily calles all the Whores and tell them to go to her bedroom.*

### ***Kappa House - Mandy's Bedroom***

*The Whores are looking at Mandy, the latter is sit on her bed.*

**Mandy:** What the hell are all the cockroaches waiting down there.

**Lizzy:** Honestly have no idea, they look more like Pokemon than they do actual shitty human beings.

**Viola:** It looks like their faces caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.

**Olivia:** *(desperate)* These are our new pledges!

*Viola carefully looks her phone. She suddenly gasps*

**Viola:** I have an appointment, sorry I have to go.

**Mandy:** Bitch, call me that useless maid. I need her.

*Viola leaves and a few minutes later, the maid of Kappa House called Bone Hilda enters in Mandy's bedroom.*

**Hilda:** *(annoyed)* Yes, your majesty of Wallace University?

**Mandy:** I see we are learning! Look, did you see the stupid gashes that are downstairs?

**Hilda:** Too many to count.

**Lizzy:** Um there were only four.

**Olivia:** I think one of them went to the bathroom.

**Hilda:** I counted eight.

**Mandy:** Shut up bitch or I will get you deported back to Hogwarts, you hog-faced slut!

**Hilda:** *(annoyed)* Ha ha ha, very funny whore.

**Mandy:** I need your help. First, we will trap the pledges at the Kappa Kappa Tau storage. Then someone maybe you, Bone Hilda, will dress up as the Red Devil and one of you dumb whores will pretend to get murdered and after we unlock them, they will run scared like little stupid bitches.

**Hilda:** Wow, amazing, but how can we be sure that won't backfire in any way? I mean what if one of the girls attacks me and thinks I tried to kill her and sends me to prison while this was your prank?

**Mandy:** Well, bitch, your problem.

**Lizzy:** These are the risks of being a maid. You have to accept them.

**Hilda:** *(sighs)* Fine, let's do this.

### ***Dickie Dollar Scholars House - Mike's Bedroom***

*Mike is at the computer. Otto Hastleen arrives in the bedroom.*

**Otto:** Hey bro, get ready in twenty minutes, we are going to the White Stallion to get some ladies!

**Mike:** Sure bro! Back in a few seconds.

*Mike continues shows his junk to the girl he's talking to on Omegle.*

*"You like it?" he types. The girl replies "Eww it's small fuck you". The chat logs off.*

**Mike:** You dumb bitch, you don't realize what did you just do.

*Mike restarts a new chat, and the stranger is with a Red Devil costume.*

*He types "Want me to show you my junk?". "Eww no, let's talk" types the Red Devil back. "Do you like scary movies?"*

*"The Scary Movies series are awesome. Every each of them are hilarious! Mike types.*

*"Wow, now you really deserve to die." tyes the Red Devil, and appearing in Mike's bedroom with a knife, stabbing Mike to death. After that, the killer waves to the camera, types "bye" and logs off.*

### ***Main Building - Dean's Office***

*Viola arrives at the office, the dean is smoking a cigarette.*

**Viola:** Here I am! I got your text.

**Dean Russel:** Good, my princess. Your king is going to show you the forbbiden hidden beast.

**Viola:** Will Mandy be happy about it?

**Dean Russel:** Who cares about that dumb bitch. You're totally wasted following her around like her puppy.

**Viola:** I don't follow her like a puppy!

**Dean Russel:** Do I have to remind you that you're also called 'Whore #3'?

**Viola:** Whatevs.

**Dean Russel:** And also, sex with her was awful. I'm sure you're better.

**Viola:** *(laughs)* I will be, Your Majesty. Your servant will be happy to be all your for tonight.

*The dean laughs and they start to kiss. They have sex for some time...*

**Viola:** *(screams)* OH MY, YES YES YES!

**Dean Russel:** YOU LIKE IT, DON'T YA?

**Viola:** I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE.

**Dean Russel:** HELL YEAH... GOD BLESS YOU LITTLE BITCH!

*Viola receives a text message. She put her clothes back on.*

**Viola:** It's from Mandy. Got to go.

**Dean Russel:** Are you serious? We just started!

**Viola:** I know but she calls. And also we did it on the floor, near the library and almost near the door?

**Dean Russel:** That was practice.

*Viola leaves the office and while heading back to Kappa House, she notices someone in a Red Devil costume chasing her.*

**Viola:** I'm sorry, I don't give free blowjobs.

*The Red Devil is close to her.*

**Viola:** Wait a minute, I know you. You are that killer from the news - *(screams)* SOMEBODY HELPS ME!

*The Red Devil tranquilizes Viola and takes her unconscious body to their car.*

### ***Kappa House - Living Room - 21:50***

*Jaz, Harley, Donna and Jenny are sitting on the couch talking. Mandy and Whores #2 and #5 arrive.*

**Mandy:** Listen up, you idiot stupid dumb sluts, today we will start Hell Week. In this week, you will have to prove you yourselves that you can survive in this house and if you have the perfect ingredients to be a Kappa.

**Jaz:** But didn't we just arrived like 30 minutes ago?

**Mandy:** Considering you're just the 4 of you, Hell Week will start a day earlier.

**Jenny:** Where is Viola?

**Mandy:** Who?

**Lizzy:** She's talking about #3.

**Mandy:** Bitch is away. So, as I was saying, Hell Week will start tonight. We are leaving the whole house for yourselves. While me, #2 and #5 are away, #3 will come sometimes and will watch you guys to make sure you don't kill yourselves with cheap toilet paper on the basement. Good night ladies!

**Jaz:** *(stands up)* No way I'm doing this.

**Mandy:** Um yes you are, you dumb bitch, if you wanna stay at KKT.

**Jaz:** So what, are we going to fight if I don't?

**Mandy:** Fighting with me is suicide, slut.

**Jaz:** If I wanted to kill myself I would jump off your ego and land on your IQ.

*Mandy and Jaz bitchface each other but they are interrupted by Olivia.*

**Olivia:** Umm our banana daquiris?

**Mandy:** *(screams)* OH MY GOD OLIVIA, STOP TALKING YOU ARE SUCH A PAIN! BYE SLUTS!

*The Whores leave and lock the girls in.*

*The four girls are left alone in the House. Donna is looking at her phone.*

**Harley:** So what are we going to do now?

**Donna:** I'm playing Candy Crush Saga!

**Jaz:** Bitch, that game is so old.

**Donna:** But it's still popular.

**Jenny:** I think we should explore the whore area. This place is so big.

*The girls hear a strange noise in the basement. They arrive there and see a mysterious pool of blood.*

**Harley:** What the heck is that.

**Jenny:** Is this blood?!

**Donna:** *(tastes it)* I think this is corn syrup.

*Suddenly the door is locked and the girls scream.*

**Harley:** The door is locked.

**Donna:** I thought we were alone.

**Jenny:** We're definitely not alone anymore.

**Jaz:** What are we gonna do now?!

**Donna:** Ok let's play the Telephone game, I say a word and you have to say a word to the person on your--

*The door suddenly opens. The girls leave the basement.*

**Jaz:** It's Mandy's fault, they're just messing with us.

**Donna:** Hey hi! Would you like something to eat? We're alone.

**Harley:** Who the heck are you talking to--

*The girls scream. Donna's leg get shot by a crowbar from someone dressed as the Red Devil.*

**Donna:** OUCH! I JUST WANTED TO BE NICE!

*Harley and Jaz retreat, Jenny stays behind trying to help Donna.*

**Jenny:** Guys, look. I am a legacy and seconds before my grandma died, she told me this place was the best thing in her life. But things weren't actually going too well for her because her parents were getting divorced, she was pregnant of my mom and she had to marry this random man while she was on spring break but--

**Jaz:** JENNY, WATCH OUT!

**Jenny:**  --Mostly also, because I feel sisterhood in this place. I know that Mandy has treated us badly but I feel this sorority can change to a better.. ARGH!

**Harley:** OMG!

*Jenny gets stabbed by the crowbar and falls lifeless on the ground. All the girls scream and the killer waves his cape and leaves the sorority.*