249: I Need A Pedicure, Rainbow Trout :(

## Summary

The party notice a guard station, and Gwen is keen to try and clear up the confusion surrounding Raphina and the serial killer, only to discover that all the guards are absent. The group then make their way into Tinkertown's maze of streets, and Raphina leads them to *Michael's Mechanisms* where Batthwack asks Clegg, the proprietor, if he can help repair Captain Clockface.

## Synopsis

Batthwack asks Raphina, who quickly reminds him to call her Annie Parr, if there's a place in Tinkertown that might help repair Captain Clockface. She says she knows a clock shop and a shop that sells mechanical bird feeders, which are both in the same area. She's not sure if things will be exactly the same as when she left though. Anyway, she heads off, leading the way.

En route, Will looks about at the various characters out in the streets. Feeling himself slipping back into a mode from his roots as a pickpocket and thief, he is particularly interested in how wealthy people look. He notices that there are a variety of demographics, but notes that so far he hasn't seen anywhere that's very upper class or exclusive.

   They head across the bridge, over the meagre river and towards Tinkertown. They can see that the streets ahead of them are very narrow and a little cramped. Things are very regimented with streets arranged in regular grids and diagonals. As soon as they cross the bridge though, one of the first things they see is a town guard station. Gwen takes on a serious tone. *"Guys guys guys. I really think we should stop in there."* They all stop and look at her. Will laughs nervously. *"What? Why?"* *"Maybe this is all a misunderstanding. And maybe we could try to talk to them and get it all figured out. And then you don't have to run around in a disguise"* she explains. *"Yeah, that's how guards work. They're totally reasonable and will listen to strangers telling wild stories about how there's a person that looks just like our friend who's killed a lot of people, but it's not this person, the person that looks just like that person"* says Will, dryly. Sheemie warns him *"Actually, no, you can't trust the cops,"* and Will has to explain he was being sarcastic.

Gwen suggests she just go and find out what she can from the guards, but Will insists he go in with her. He wants to discuss their tactic, but Gwen confidently says *"Will, just watch me"* before striding up to the guard station and discovering it's closed. A sign reads *"Tinkertown Guard Station. Temporarily closed. If in need of assistance please see nearest station in The Warrens."* Will recalls what the hotel proprietor had said and wonders if all the guards are indeed out looking for Raphina. Either way, he feels that the guard station being closed is a good sign for them. Gwen disagrees. Raphina tries the handle of the guard station, finding that the door is locked. Will sarcastically suggests they break in, but Gwen says that wouldn't be a good idea. Will agrees, saying they haven't found any good places to break into yet. *"Just kidding!"* he adds quickly. *"You're with law abiding citizens here."* He marches up and down, mockingly, and Sheemie joins in behind him. Gwen, sounding somewhat dubious, says *"law abiding citizens"* and holds up air quotes. *"Listen, MURDERER"* says Will, before resuming his marching. Gwen goes quiet at this.

Heading off in into Tinkertown, the streets soon get very narrow and tight. They pass Tinker Tavern on their right, which looks like a place to buy a drink, and a short while later on the left is a weapons store called *Smith's Weapons*. A little further on, the street opens up into a small triangular space and across from each other are *The Clock Shop* on the left, and *Michael's Mechanisms* on the right. The shop on the right is the bird feeder shop that Raphina had recollected, though looking now they can see that there is only one automatic bird feeder in the window surrounded by a variety of other creations.

Batthwack says he has every faith in Raphina's recommendation, so heads into the *Michael's Mechanisms*. A little bell over the door jingles a entire melody as they go in. Just like the streets of Tinkertown, the store itself is very cramped and crowded inside. Smaller people were apparently in mind when it was built. Packing the shelves are a variety of different mechanical creations. There is one section that appear to be music boxes and another small section of automated bird feeders, but the function of many of the contraptions can only be guessed. They all seem to be made of wood with some metal parts and without exception they all appear to be crank operated. The cranks vary in size and some of the contraptions even seem to have multiple cranks.

At the back of the store an older halfling man is behind a counter, next to the till, reading a book. Raphina recognises this as Clegg, the owner of the store. She whispers this to Batthwack, saying that she's going to avoid eye contact in case he recognises her. Batthwack says he thinks that's unlikely because she has a really big nose. Forgetting that he's referring to her fake nose, she offendedly shouts *"Hey!"* Clegg immediately looks up from his book and says *"Yes. Can I help you?"* as he eyes all of them.

Batthwack unclasps his backpack, takes out Captain Clockface and gently lays him across the counter. *"Excuse me. What are you doing?"* says Clegg. Batthwack is taken aback by this and there's a brief pause while he works out what to say in response to this. Clegg continues, rather abruptly, *"This is my store. Are you here to purchase a mechanism?"* Batthwack hesitantly explains that they're hoping he can help them with something and assures him they'll pay. *"Is this something silly?"* asks Clegg grimly. Batthwack says it's not silly to him and explains that Captain Clockface is an automaton who was able to move around just like a normal person, and who *"seemed very much alive,"* but was injured in a magical fire and is now in need of repair. Despite thinking that the name does sound rather silly, Clegg pulls out a cloth roll and unrolls it on the counter behind Captain Clockface. It's full of different tools and implements, a couple of which he pulls out, and uses to start poking and prodding at Captain Clockface's body. He immediately looks engrossed and Batthwack watches closely, concerned about how seriously Clegg's taking it.

The others are looking around the store, poking around, checking out the mechanisms and trying things out. Raphina tries out a bird feeder, cranking the handle and making the conveyor belt go. Will and Gwen discover sections of food chopper mechanisms, and there are juicers, shoe tiers, a few massagers. Will does a double-take at this last section. The massagers are boxes about a foot long, six inches wide and six inches tall, with a crank on the side. Will and Gwen look at each other, wondering which of them is going to try it out.

Gwen steps up to try the massager. After a few turns on the handle a rhythmic thumping can be heard coming from within the box. Clegg looks up and asks if they're interested in buying it, explaining it's 5gp. Will's still slightly bemused by it, pointing out that it doesn't look very comfortable. Clegg explains that you put it on your back. *"Oh, your back!"* says Will, looking at Gwen with a mischievous look in his eye. Clegg doesn't take kindly to this silliness. Gwen says she's interested in buying the massager, and when she goes into her money pouch to retrieve the coins, she discovers a lot more gold than she thought she had. There's a brief awkward pause while Gwen computes this, before she hands over the money. Clegg explains that three cranks of the handle will cause the massager to run for five minutes.

Raphina tells Will to stop bothering Clegg, so he carries on looking around the store, finding something labelled as an "auto-writer". It looks like a solid box with a crank sticking out of it. There's a stack of paper next to it. Will eyes Clegg carefully to make sure he's fully focused on Captain Clockface again as he gingerly places some paper onto the box, and cranks the handle!

## Trivia

* The episode title was a quote from Alex. During the recap of the previous session, KT reminded everyone of Raphina's attempt to commune with the Rainbow Trout. *"It was beautiful. You went down and dipped your toe and you said 'Rainbow Trout, I hope you can sense my toe, Rainbow Trout. We're trying.' It was like the sweetest thing. It was awesome."* Abby: *"And it was blocked by the dam!"* Alex: *"I need a pedicure, Rainbow Trout!"* KT: *"We need to go to the salon! Yes!"* Eric: *"No, send your minnows to nibble on my toes!"* KT: *"That's the salon we're going to, on no! Will just runs away. Oh my goodness."* Eric: *"You've never been to a fish based salon? A pescan salon?"*
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: verdant.

## References

1. ↑ See episode 246: A Pompion's Guide to Six Rivers