Mana's 2015 RTV Retrospective

**Shows include**:

* Survivor: Worlds Apart
* Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance
* The Amazing Race 26
* The Amazing Race 27
* The Amazing Race Canada 3
* HaMerotz LaMillion 4
* Big Brother 17
* Big Brother Canada 3
* Big Brother Brasil 15
* RuPaul's Drag Race 7
* Masterchef 6
* Masterchef Canada 2
* Masterchef Brasil 2
* Masterchef Junior Brasil
* King of The Nerds 3
* King of The Nerds UK

**Chart of eliminated contestants can be found at the bottom of the page.**

## The Hellbeasts

### **247. Rodney Lavoie Jr. (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

at least will was fucking pissed (for ridiculous reasons) when he spewed his shit but rodney spewed shit in everyday dialogue

### **246. Austin Matelson (Big Brother 17)**

best moment of the season was vanessa blindsiding him

### **244. Todd Landree (King of The Nerds 3)**

another fatass (#fatist) who verbally attacked a woman for ridiculous reasons, at least he went early

## The Odious Ones

### **243. Spencer Bledsoe (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

airtime vacuum, your edit is a lie. so happy to see you gave up watching mid season because your stupidity made you suffer so much

### **242. Bruno Iello (Big Brother Canada 3)**

started the shitty chop shop (aka everysinglestraightwhitepersoninthehouse alliance) is an overall asshole and yelled at sarah for being betrayed on fucking big brother. so glad he got rigged out by brittnees superpower, whoever the bbcan producer is should replace grodner

### **241. Derrick Peltz (Masterchef 6)**

arrogant asshole fan favorite hyped up to be some hero, at least that made claudia's victory more satisfying. also, stop thinking your hot, you're a fugbeast

### **240. Fernando Medeiros (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

the worst half of the ~ferline~ showmance (or Casal Bosta which is my fave name). bland gamebot who the POOblic loved early on because he was hot and had a big dong, thank god they saw the light and booted him in the F3 over fucking amanda <3

(**fun fact**: he is one letter away from having the exact same name AND last name as my English Literature professor who is a g.oddess and looks like a witch)

### **239. Jordan Parhar (Big Brother Canada 3)**

a peter brown wannabe will never be as HORRENDOUS as the original, but he still sucks majorly. the way he was utterly blindsided by his own showmance SINDY WITH AN S was glorious. also, sucks find him hot, I wish someone could elaborate because EW

### **238. Justin & Diana (The Amazing Race 27)**

it pains me to put diana this low because she's an earth angel ("i wanna touch that elephant"/literally stamping indian children with MURICA removable tattoos) but her fiancee was satan for many reasons: artificial camerawhore, happy when first/asshole to everyone (taxi drivers/his own fiancée/etc) when on the bottom, is ugly as fuck please get out of my screen, made the top placements predictable and ALMOST broke ~THE~ BLONDE RACHEL's record

### **237. Marco Marcon (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

probably the biggest actual strategist in all BBB seasons, but not really the smartest (that title goes to Talula <3) however, he was overall boring and self-righteous, and the way he completely lost his shit when talita gave him a stupid task of dressing as a top and spin around as consequence of a challenge was pathetic. i wish ~GANDHI~ had never given up before entering the house so we didn't get this demon as his replacement </3

### **236. Douglas Ferreira (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

i loved him at first for being the token poor person, a stylish delivery boy, and outspoken without being an asshole. liked him even more when he explained fellow token black luan he was making racist (against black people, let me make this clear) comments without flipping his shit, then he decided to openly declare he beat up his wife/girlfriend/whatever and... no

### **235. Aline Gotschalg (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

other half of Casal Bosta, weakbitch with no personality, shitlord enabler

### **234. Liz Nolan (Big Brother 17)**

just like Aline, shitlord enabler and constantly stimulated competition between her and a woman (ugh @her intro video). had some lolz moments tho so she's higher than Aline

### **233. Andrew Savage (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

less insufferable than in his first appearance because he didn't have lill to bully around. still a self-righteous, hypocritical grown-ass-man.org who acted like a brat

### **232. Jace Agolli (Big Brother 17)**

thank god we got rid of this demon in week one, so fucking annoying. I don't know if I prefer to believe his character was uber forced or if that was his actual personality

### **231. Dan Foley (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

dan is a horrible human being so I have to explain why he is this high (lol @211 being high for Dan), he actually made me laugh quite a few times, but there's one specific moment that's ~iconic~ where Mike says he's gonna apologize to Sierra and Dan just goes "no I'm older I have more experience" and offers the WORST POSSIBLE APOLOGY EVER to Sierra which was basically "sorry you did everything wrong and didn't understand anything" also, bigoted ignorant old men bother me slightly less than bigoted brats so that's another reason he's higher than Rodney

### **230. Bobby Hlad (Big Brother Canada 3)**

spineless sexist (miles away from Rodney/Dan levels but still) dumbass who RUINED SINDY WITH AN S' CHANCES by taking her out of the HoH challenge. was basically Bruno's bitch

nice booty doe (click to enlarge, '***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'*NSFW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**)

### **229. Zach Oleynik (Big Brother Canada 3)**

I have no idea but I bet his relationship with Ashleigh didn't last after BB. there were so many moments where he was clearly manipulating her and gloating to other people how they "had the girls on their fingers" also bland af and robbed the superior Zac from being on BB by not Mellisa McNulty-ing pre game

### **228. Raz & Alexa (HaMerotz LaMillion 4)**

I could find Raz & Alex hilarious due to her constant meltdowns but they're just so... ew. first of all, they're extremely lovey-dovey and not in a hilarious Akiva & Anaelle way, thsy just gush over each other and make cute voices and ewww. Alexa also has a habit of despising any woman who interacts with Raz (including an obese, elderly, probably lesbian, crane operator) which is pathetic and gross, it's also gross how freaking dependent she is on him to the point where he LITERALLY CARRIES HER for like, a leg and a half because she twisted her ankle. They also made a bitch move "accidentally" destroying Vova & Ala's juice stand, thank god they were eliminated in the same exact leg

### **227. Graig Merritt (Big Brother Canada 3)**

one of the trio of dumbasses with Bobby and Bruno, he thought he was some kind of mastermind but he was just Bruno's other bitch. oh, and that ginga ninja thing was dumb as fuck, you're like, 40 years old, get a grip sis

### **226. Fernando Kawasaki (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

he was extremely rude to his teammates, disregarded the chef's opinions/advice and bitched when the food went wrong (which was rarely because he was such an overdog) and feuded with Lucas for petty reasons with petty insults like calling him fat. also, the fact he was madly rooting for and basically helping Raul in the finale obviously because they were gonna share the money turned me off...er.

## The Mild Nuisances

### **225. Gino & Jesse (The Amazing Race Canada 3)**

they started being bland dominating alpha males, then entered the douchey dominating alpha-males territory, then finally the cab-stealer-destroyer-of-dreams monsters when they stole Simi & Ope's cab in the F4 leg (how can you be so CRUEL to those ANGELS?????), but overall they were just one more boring, physically fit straight white guy duo with occasional douchey moments that plagues the TAR winner roster. should have been booted in Ep2 when their job as "show up almost naked" was fulfilled, thus sparing Susan & Sharnjitg.oddesses. they gave us "man, I got a big butt!" as an episode name, so there's at least one positive (unfortunately, all their positives are related to gino's rear end)

### **224. John Hameister-Ries (Masterchef Canada 2)**

unlike Eddie, the MORP former football player from Masterchef US, Big John (I seriously can't handle anyone else with this nickname, make it stop) was an arrogant condescending twatwaffle. the way he was so patronizing to Line saving herself from the elimination challenge (despite everyone doing that) was gross and contributed to her literally passing out out of stress so no

### **223. Ben Tully (King of The Nerds 3)**

basically a douchebag who happens to like oceanography, if i wanted to see a boring white guy with no trace of personality I would watch Big Brother

(if you squint quite enough you can see his genericblonde enabler on the left, more on that later)

### **222. Ashleigh Wood (Big Brother Canada 3)**

just like Liz and Aline, Ashley was one more generic blonde with no personality who enabled a mildly douchey generic white guy and his boring alliance dominate the game. she is worse in the sense that she was stupid enough not to notice how Zach was clearly manipulating her, but she is better than Liz and Aline in the sense that instead of having a shitty personality she has no personality at all

### **221. Tasha Fox (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

huge fall from grace, boring, occasionally self-righteous. at least the guy she helped win the game wasn't a demon

### **220. Cézar Lima (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

if BBB casts one more cowboy I'm gonna go there and personally torture each member of the casting team by tying their testicles together, ride them while they scream in pain, then stab them with a sword. okay, if you forget the fact he's the third cowboy to win this shit by playing up the "look how much of a poor innocent country boy I am" shit while they're actually AT LEAST middle-class (BBB12 winner was rich and Cézar is an attorney, so) and steamrolling the whole game (tbt to the only girl who ever attempted to do this and was booted 2nd because she was "whiny" and "self-pitying") I do think, however, that the fact he was a complete dumbfuck wasn't playing up so that made him occasionally funny but also cringeworthy at times

### **219. Jesse Romero (Masterchef 6)**

boring and constantly contested the judges when they told him he sucked which is a really annoying characteristic. and his beard was gross

### **217. Rafael Licks (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

half of the second and far less horrendous couple of BBB15, the INVcouple, Rafael was... INV. he had some screaming matches with token hag Mariza at times but nothing too bad. then he decided to kiss Tamires while drunk after his showmance was booted and that made her feel so bad she quit the game. thank god the public despised him after that <3

### **216. Justin Banister (Masterchef 6)**

one of the most punchable faces I've ever seen

### **215. Luan Patrício (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

he started the game by making racist comments, much to the other black contestant's displeasure, thank god he got a scolding from Douglas and Angélica. but his comments also served for ammunition for racist viewers to say shit like "YOU SEE EVEN BLACK PEOPLE ADMIT THEY'RE HORRIBLE". he also admitted killing a child while working as a policeman... why isn't he lower in this ranking? oh yeah, that was a lie. he was basically a compulsive liar, and also stole food from a party so there was an outbreak of racist attacks outside, which made me feel bad for him for exactly 3 days before he was booted by a massive margin lol

### **214. Kandy Ho (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

she had sub-par acting skills, was unfunny, and always made snide remarks about older queens which was ridiculous considering: she's thirtysomething. she's the ugliest one out there. probably going through an early midlife crisis and concentrating her rage in making fun of people who are older

### **213. Andrew Al-Khouri (Masterchef Canada 2)**

one of the patronizing douches to bash Line for her decision of saving herself from the pressure test. aside from that he was just boringly competent until his boot thank god he didn't win the returnee comp

### **212. Colby Burnett (King of the Nerds 3)**

I'm glad everyone saw him as a huge target for being a jeopardy world record holder or something because he was arrogant and bland. his fanbase was atrocious too, they flooded the KotN FB page bashing everyone but him and claiming he was rigged out because... an alliance decided to vote for him? lol

### **211. Hannah Harle (King of the Nerds UK)**

she started off as an adorable cinnamon roll but revealed herself to me a moralistic monster who fiercely despised the idea of strategy and prohibited people to talk votes with each other lolbye

### **210. David Jorge (Masterchef Canada 2)**

honestly, David was a nice guy. there's nothing really wrong with him as a character as far as I could see, but the thing, his only plot point was the fact he sweats a lot. yeah. he was just too perfect the whole time, always did amazing stuff, received constant praise from the judges, and I'm not even saying it wasn't warranted, he was a really good cook but he just wasn't good tv and anyone could see his win from miles away

### **209. Tyler Fredrickson (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

I referred to him as a bitter butterfaced bore somewhere and I still stand for it, should at least have voted for Carolyn after she REAMED your ass and made you realize you're not that big of a player after all

### **208. Trixie Mattel (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

she was praised by her comic relief and unusual make-up, but she was just boring as fuck and her style of make-up was horrendous, and not even in an ironic way because people took it seriously! she was massively overrated by fans but thankfully booted early... only to return over stars including the legendary (lolnotreally) Mrs Kasha Davis, and be booted 2 eps later reassuring she sucks at life bye

### **206. Gal & Liel (HaMerotz LaMillion 4)**

eh, they were a generically likable dating team overshadowed by a STELLAR cast. Liel's schtick of being loud squealy-cutesy got tiring after a while, seemed too forced. they did star one ICONIC moment tho, when Gal passed out during a face-off consisting of... standing up and not laughing before your opponent

### **205. Steve Moses (Big Brother 17)**

I don't really have a seething hatred towards Steve like most people do, he knew how to play the game and had some awkward/fun/both moments. later in the game i started getting tired/not caring about him at all + he booted both Jackie and Vanessa and I'll never forgive him for this (even though they were perfectly logical decisions)

### **204. Tyler & Laura (The Amazing Race 26)**

as you can see, TAR26 managed to be the last season with the whole cast standing because nine elevenths of it range from mildly pleasant to absolute deities, and of course we get LoraTheBora and this arrogant lowkey sexist douchenugget. honestly, the only good moments they had were their interactions in Amsterdam on the bathtub boat; if their dynamic had been that fun the whole race I'd honestly LOVE them

### **203. Cristiano Oliveira (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

Cristiano's journey was a bizarre one, he started as the designated poor guy so we were all expecting an OTTP storyline, and he was pretty positive in the beginning... until three episodes in when Iranete gave him tucupi tp cook a dish and he felt personally betrayed (because... they were both from the same state) even though he rocked the dish. After that he became extremely childish and bitter towards her, frequently cursing her and saying she made a pact with the devil (I think one time he said she was the devil itself). then she was eliminated and he became UTRP until Izabel did something mildly unpleasant to him and became the new focus of his irrational hatred lol. he was such a lulzy individual looking back, but the fact he refused to apologize to Iranete in the reunion turned me off completely

### **202. Kennedy Davenport (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

while I don't actively dislike Kennedy like some people do, I just fail to grasp what's so great about her. she's a pageant queen, so she had mostly boring outfits except the burned chicken one (lol), her personality was just bitter older queen, which wasn't even done in a fun way like Ginger Minj, but in a condescending stank way. though I do side with her completely on the EXTREME hatred she gets obviously for being black, because there have been thousands of bitter older pageant queens (Alyssa, who I also dislike, for example) who are idolized

### **201. Kenny Lam (King of the Nerds UK)**

I think Kenny is pretty much defined by his immaturity, which provides both lolz moments (mocking Mark's victory dance <3) or really ugly moments such as bitching about Karen because she was... older and smarter and actually wanted to get the job done? yeah, this one moment really tarnished most of the Kenny experience for me

## The Ones I Don't Really Care About/Have No Idea What To Think About

### **199. Rodrigo Serra (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

who? + almost returned over Izabel barely giving me a heartattack

### **198. Marcos Baldassari (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

who? + lasted way too long and stayed over 2 deities in Ep1

(ps: no, he is not hot, MOM!)

### **197. Johnny (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

he wasn't part of the EpisodeOneSlaughter and still managed to be unremarkable and kinda yucky and pedantic at times, the only thing I liked about him is his lulzy introduction where he says that if cooking doesn't work out he wants to be President

### **195. Piera (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

part of EpisodeOneSlaughter, the one who showed less personality out of the six. her hair was c00t tho

### **194. Terry Deitz (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

big nd long (I liked his interaction with Abi in Ep2 tho)

### **193. Ailsa Von Dobeneck (Masterchef 6)**

she was so irrelevant I just discovered her name is pronounced like "Elsa" in her boot episode

### **192. Brianna Watson (Masterchef 6)**

the fact this was the picture of her with the best quality I could find says it all (only higher than Ailsa because her boot spared Olivia)

### **191. Gleyson (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

EpisodeOneSlaughter, barely remember him, but his name is lulz

### **190. Robyn Potter (King of the Nerds UK)**

honestly who? only places this high because she's a Harry Potter superfan and her actual name is Potter

### **189. Luiza (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

part of EpisodeOneSlaughter, she was really perky and ^^ but that's normal for a child and she was outshone (is that a word?)

### **188. Joaquin Souberbielle (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

honestly, I don't get the whole MORN douchegod/threw shade at Shirin thing. he was just boring (and occasionally hot) also, his name <3

### **187. Willow MacDonald (Big Brother Canada 3)**

as much as I tried to, I really couldn't like Willow. she started being boring af, nothing she did seemed spontaneous, it was like she was trying to act ~different~ all the time but ended up being the basic-est bitch of the basic bitches. when not even lesbianism can save you you know it's serious (props to her for not being a bitter bitch and actually voting for Sarah)

### **186. Kevin Gregory (Masterchef Canada 2)**

he was really funny by miserably failing in the first episode and serving a dish with a gigantic piece of plastic inside <3 but he was just boring afterwards

### **185. Miss Fame (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

eh, she was arrogant but not in a funny way. I liked when she talked about being a country boy and loving her chickens tho lol (the chicken tattoo <3)

### **184. Nick Nappi (Masterchef 6)**

eh, he was extremely boring the whole season and I didn't like his face (reminded me of Bime). redeemed himself by randomly becoming Claudia's BFF by the end

### **183. Kerry Prince (Masterchef 6)**

he was a cool guy. I mildly liked him for no other reason at all. that's it,

### **182. Joe Anglim (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

I actually loved Joe at the beginning of Cambodia because the way everyone talked about him as being the second coming of Jesus Christ was hilarious (mostly because I knew he wouldn't win cuz he's bad at strategy), then when the merge hit he did nothing besides win challenges and be an ass to Abi before being booted (u fuck with me ur dead)

### **181. Lorenzo (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

okay, so here's my beef with Lorenzo: he wasn't a bad person in any way, like what the heck, he's 13. I did feel, however, that he was pretty devoid of personality and not in a cute camera-shy way like Daphne, I just got the impression that he was indifferent to everything around him all the time except when he... actually won the show. also pissed at how Eduardo was painted as the arrogant brat while Lorenzo was just as arrogant at times and no one cared. I put him above the other irrel people because his father, while grating, was a hilarious OTT2 force in the two episodes he was in, in episode one by being annoying as fuck trying to help Lorenzo, and on the finale by being annoying as fuck trying to help Lorenzo AND his interactions with the picture of his parents, including scenes where he rips pieces of it apart, bites it, and lets it fall off the balcony out of sheer nervousness for his son lol. then there's his ~touching~ words to Lorenzo upon his win, where 90% of what he says is censored. Lorenzo's father for Masterchef 3! (unfortunately his son sucked)

### **180. Mateus (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

adorable by nature but honestly, that's just it

### **179. Julia Nunes (BIg Brother Brasil 15)**

i actually kinda love Julia? for some unfathomable reason BBB decided to let us chose between two generic blondes to be the 14th member of the cast: one of them has already been covered here and I'd rather not remember her. Julia, however, was such an elusive contestant <3 the only two things I remember about her was the fact her plea to stay was something along the lines of "I HAVE A MISSION HERE!" and her MASSIVE butt, which, upon being asked about, she said "it's all in the genetics! my brothers' is even bigger!" and I'm still frustrated I can't find pics of her brother on google (laughing at how much I wrote about someone who was barely a contestant)

### **178. Sierra Dawn Thomas (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

sierra was a nonentity the whole season, at least she had the decency of a) siding with Lindsey in that horrendous episode, and b) voting for Carolyn to win. also, that gif of her reaction upon revealing her buff in the tribe switch is one of the best gifs ever produced by survivor

### **177. Mrs. Kasha Davis (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

people always talk about Kennedy's bitter hagness, but Mrs. Kasha Davis was the TRUE bitter hag. too bad she barely lasted and was UTR

### **176. Clay Honeycutt (Big Brother 17)**

Clay is weird because he started the game breaking all my expectations of him being an insufferable douchebag, only to become a douchebag later on and contribute the she shitty side of the house dominating the early game. claudrey is still one of the best friendships of reality TV tho

### **175. Stephen Lee (Masterchef 6)**

okay, so I have no idea if Stephen has some kind of neurological issue or if he's just a camerahog, but his antics and shrieks could only last so long before becoming tiring. to make things worse, Gordon Ramsey decided not to even hide the fact he's clearly his favorite. it was only in the very end that my Stephen appreciation started, when he decided to do anything to make Derrick's life miserable, which consisted of screaming at him from the balcony like a lunatic the entire challenge. also he seems like a really nice dad, judging by his interactions with his son <3

### **174. Vince Sly (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

okay, so Vince is a horrible human being and I TOTALLY know this based on his 14 combined minutes of screentime. I loved his firsts scene with Jenn but when he started being creepy/thinking he ~possessed~ her, and confronting Joe, I started to dislike him. BUT, his existence in the Survivor ~universe~ is so weird I can't pretend I don't enjoy him even a little bit.

### **173. Thomas Vollum (King of the Nerds 3)**

his impression of Gollum was uncanny + he was a brony and didn't show any signs of being literally scum of the earth, so gj

### **172. Ryan MacDonald (King of the Nerds UK)**

behold, the younger and Britisher version of Astronaut Dan! his existence was resumed to people being awed by the fact he was going to Mars some time in the future in the first ep, then him being seen as a threat and being booted the next episode. he was a cool guy (yea the poopert) and didn't get an OTTPP edit for being an astronaut so gj

### **171. Kelly Remington (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

honestly, Kelly is such a nobody and I originally had her MUCH lower in this list, HOWEVER, I can't ignore that one challenge her opposing team was desperately trying to throw and still she managed to fuck up so badly I think even Chet Welch could beat her <3

### **170. Gustavo Bicalho (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

he was boring until I started liking him in his boot episode where he was completely inept and couldn't even open a bottle of wine <3 and that's enough for him to be this high

### **169. Max Dawson (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

Max was a horrible tryhard 90% of the time (student of the game, let's get naked because Hatch did, etc.), but he has redeeming qualities such as: that scene where he talked about the astrology signs of past winners; the whole scene where he cuts his feet and wants to put his warty foot in a bowl of hot water; and the fact he teaches a class about Survivor and failed miserably at it by isolating himself from the rest of his tribe lol

### **168. Jeff & Lyda (The Amazing Race 26)**

they were a likable older couple, and I hadn't seen one of those in a long time so I was happy to see them... until they were booted first, hooray! thank god TAR26 had other 8 teams better than them (but the only one worse won, how cool is that?)

### **167. Jaidynn Diore Fierce (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

okay, so she's probably this high due to pity because she was so horrible at everything she did (just look at that trainwreck of a name) and was constantly scolded by people, and not even in a funny Chet Welch way, so I just wanted to hug her <3 not the best char out there but I did feel sympathy for her

### **166. Dan Collado (Masterchef 6)**

okay, I don't care about Dan in the slightest but I put him this high because his elimination was hilarious. when I thought I had seen everything when Gordon was booted from season 5 because he got sick and got a sad montage longer than all his screetime combined, we see Dan unceremoniously disappearing in the start of an episode because he had "business" outside, according to Chef Ramsay. to make things weirder, Dan got quite a big edit early on and was a contender, unlike Gordon from S5 who was a Who?

### **165. Mateo McConnell (Masterchef 6)**

awkward school teacher first boot because his pie imploded g.od

### **164. Darah Carattini (Masterchef 6)**

Darah was such a fun presence, I loved how perky she was and I'm sad she had to go so early. I also appreciate her weird-ass job of "amusement park guide" and the fact she was booted after failing as a team captain at an amusement park <3

### **163. Nina Poersch (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

Nina was weird because at the same time she bought entertainment to nargarote after Vince's boot, she was annoying as fuck. I'm not sure if edit purposely hid footage from us, but from everything I could see the only time she was actually excluded from the group was in the challenge at her boot episode. speaking of her boot episode, it was the only episode I was actively rooting for Nina because she was ~~righteous~~, but every other episode she was just whiny and overly dramatic

### **162. Vytas Baskauskas (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

Vytas was terrible in BvW, but he managed to go out in the perfect spot to secure himself a position here in the... top 148 I guess. first of all, instead of a smarmy CPbland airtime vacuum we got an OTT mess who made yoga moves while everybody silently judged him; second, his elimination spared ABI MARIA GOMES, one of the few actual characters of the season, from being the first boot. also, his bitterness at being first boot and the fact he was banned from the reunion alol. I didn't hate Vytas THAT much in BvW to want the world to shit on him, but since it happened, I lol'd

### **161. Dana & Amanda (The Amazing Race Canada 3)**

they did absolutely nothing during their three episode stay aside from needlessly running a massive uphill road to get to the pit-stop when they could get a taxi (tbt Kami & Karli). also they won fan favorite award (despite being UTR1 MOR2 UTR2) just because they're from Newfoundland

### **160. Nick & Matt (The Amazing Race Canada 3)**

Nick & Matt started as really cool guys (especially with Matt being both an elementary school teacher AND wrestler), they made self-aware jokes and clearly had fun with the race, but they started going downhill when they were sucked by the whole Gino & Jesse rivalry, and starred moments as douchey as the brothers' such as stealing Simi & Ope's cab (on the same leg Gino & Jesse did that before holy shit), so I can't put them much higher

### **159. Mike Holloway (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

okay, so I should start by saying Mike seems like a fun guy irl and I appreciate the decency he had for taking Shirin's side when everyone else had to pretend they didn't care (or actually didn't care) not to lose ~position~ in the game, BUT... Mike was annoying from day 1, his talk about work ethics and how he was the only one doing anything was so misguided (and rude) I was actually on RODNEY's side, his ridiculous forced OTTPness was annoying as hell, and the argument he ~saved the season~ by being the only bright spot there is a /FAT/ LIE. maybe if he and Kelly had sided with Lindsey he could have saved the season, and I know this wouldn't be a smart move, but neither was anything he did until the end of the game. in reality he's only a decent human being who won a season by being stronger than two fat men, a hag, a fucking stick, and a grown ass man with a 5-year-old's brain, and steamrolling until reaching the FTC where the most self-righteous and petty jury ever (Caramoan comes close but at least they voted for someone who actually did something) granted him the win because he had ~morals~ (as if any of them besides Jenn had actually stuck up for Shirin)

## The Background Stars

### **158. Laura (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

she was prone to frantic praying and intense crying fits upon every minor mistake she made lolz <3 (I'm sorry I enjoy children suffering, I'm a monster)

### **157. Meg Maley (Big Brother 17)**

when the show started I already DESPISED Meg because she seemed so fake and attwhorish and.. she was. at first I got a feeling she would be another Willow but instead of boring she was just really awkward and irrelevant to the cluster that was the BB17 strategy. unfortunately, she was really UTR overall due to her irrelevance so I can't put her much higher. also that scene with Clay right before his boot was so out of nowhere, and while that IS typical Meg, wtf editors

### **156. Shelli Poole (Big Brother 17)**

Shelli is weird because, as much as I hate throwing around the famous Sucks insult, "c.untress", it perfectly describes her. I started finding her amazing because she immediately aligned with g.oddesses Da'Vonne and Audrey, but soon she was attracted by Clay and they became the token boring power couple, but while she dominated the game, Shelli had this way of strategizing where she was EXTREMELY fake and at the same time it made me hate her, it made me appreciate how much of a cunning bitch she was. she had everything to be a bland CPtoneless bore but ended up being this huge bitch in a surprisingly non-OTTN way which is why she's this high. I did hate her at times though, so yeah

### **155. Ginger Minj (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

honestly, Ginger was never TOO entertaining for me as she is with most people, I did enjoy her self-deprecating humor (Glamour Toad <3) and she did the sour hagginess much better than her partner in crime Kennedy in terms of humor, but overall I was never too invested in her. I was, however, shocked she lost to Violet in the finale because she was much more talented than Violet in pretty much every way possible, and while I did enjoy Violet better as a character, I still think Ginger was very r.obbed of the crown

### **154. Matt Barr (King of the Nerds UK)**

okay, so the story behind this guy is really weird because before the show started I knew a suckster called A Dying Clown was in this and I remembered his name to me "Mark". and there was a Mark in the season who got an EXTREMELY winner-y edit, while this little troll got a perma-OTTN edit complete with shameless scheming and gloating AND evil glowing red eyes effects in his introduction. So, this guy who was the main villain curb-stomped everyone in any nerd-off he went to (due to the show's pathetically low budget, all of them were trivia) and in the end, the F2 consisted of this decrepit rat creature and Mark, aka A Dying Clown who got an obvious winner edit, and guess what? yup, Matt curb-stomped Mark in the final challenge like he did with anyone else. and to make things better, I later discovered I was mixing up those generic white guy names and MATT WAS ACTUALLY A DYING CLOWN, NOT MARK. the character itself was boringly villainous and his win, while defying all edgic patterns, was really predictable logically, but the whole clusterfuck surrounding him makes up for that. and yes, that is a Zhan Hu buff on his head.

### **153. Mark Hughes (King of the Nerds UK)**

I was #blindsided when Mark got 2nd because he had the quintessential winner edit of a white guy who is kind of an asshole but the edit makes him a hero regardless, and the fact he lost to MATT, who had the quintessential white guy villain edit consisting of being a ~ruthless strategist~ and gloating about it in the confessional. also, in the finale, in an interesting turn of events, tons of people decided to help the "villain" Matt as opposed to the "hero" Mark, showing that I wasn't the only one to think Mark was a lowkey douchebag all the time and Matt, despite being a ~ruthless strategist~ was actually likable as a person. unfortunately, neither Mark or Matt were compelling enough characters for me to put them much higher, but they worked really well as plot devices to contribute to this most likely unintentionally subversive RTV masterpiece with a overall budged of two pounds and a used rubber band that was KotN UK. it's truly an experience. (ftr, Mark places higher because his subversion was more interesting than Matt's. seeing a supervillain win isn't as unusual as seeing the generic white guy forced hero lose)

### **152. Jeremy Collins (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

okay, I really liked Jeremy in SJDS because he was an athletic straight male who somehow managed to be likable, AND had amazing taste in allies. in Cambodia he was far from a bad character, and although his choice in allies was great when it comes to strategy, it severely hindered the season. I do still find him likable as a person and have never been so happy with a male Survivor winner before (although the fact Spencer didn't win maybe has a part in this). also, Val <3

### **151. Kelsey & Joey (The Amazing Race 27)**

so, Kelsey & Joey seem like fun people in a "your average white people" way, but I think their biggest issue here isn't even themselves, it's their edit. they did have some UTRfun moments that entertained me due to the sheer awkwardness, but aside from those not so frequent moments all we got when they were on screen was SECONDPLACESECONDPLACESECONDPLACESTEPUPOURGAMEBEATJUSTIN&DIANA, and besides reducing their whole characters to this, it made their win EXTREMELY predictable. they do remind me of Jason & Amy in many ways, but I think the JAmy had a far better edit, where they gave priority to their awkward averageness (Amy <3) and not too much focus on the copious amounts of second places they got

### **150. Aritana Maroni (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

I started really disliking Aritana since the first team challenge where she got LIVID at Iranete for burning the food and started a needless feud with her, but this feud was pretty much obscured once Iranete got a much more OTT rival in Cristiano, reducing Aritana to a sour haggress who was constantly shat on by the jurors to the point where Erick Jacquin already had inside jokes with her, being on the Bottom2 three times, and somehow still managed to be seen as a threat until her elimination. she did survive over many g.oddesses and this made me harbor a certain hatred towards her, but after her whole journey of being a sour incompetent bitch I learned to appreciate her character (+ points for her father being a gross old pimp who participated in a season of A Fazenda)

### **149. Sabrina Poirier (Masterchef Canada 2)**

Sabrina was weird, she was usually competent and had some endearing moments of low self-esteem. I really liked her when she led her team in the cruise ship challenge and her dessert brought them the win, it made me so happy. however, at the same time she was kinda devoid of any personality most of the time, and when we got to the end they started building her up as this threat to beat David in the F2 only for her to be booted 3rd, leaving me in shock and making Line, the trainwreck, our only hope for David not winning the season. it didn't really go well.

### **148. Tammy Wood (Masterchef Canada 2)**

Tammy can be summed up by being a mom, but she did have this kind of rustic charm. by seeing her personality/cooking style, I got the weird feeling she lived in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere and caught moose with her bare hands, yet she was a really sweet lady (even if in an unusual way). also, her mom-bonding with Line <3

### **147. Harley & Jonathan (The Amazing Race 26)**

I was dreading their presence and expecting them to be like middle-aged Frankie Grandes, but they were somehow great! I always enjoy a nice dose of self-deprecating humor (in their case about age) and they didn't even overplay the fact Jonathan was on New Kids On The Block, which was HUGE at a time. even if they did talk about it, it was never in a gloating kind of way which was surprisingly pleasant. overall they had everything to be grating but were actually a really cute and endearing couple. I also wasn't too sad they went out so early because there were superior gays in the same season, and I also thank for them for posting on twitter the link to that AMAIZNG song from the drag performance challenge in Thailand

### **146. Irit & Sinai (HaMerotz LaMillion 4)**

in a franchise prone to have the most bizarre casts, these two were the weirdest addition. it already seemed surreal that we got 5 F/F teams, and to make things better we got TWO Mother/Daughter teams. despite the other one already being wtf-enough, we get this St Vincent lookalike PE teacher and her elderly mother to compete and do surprisingly well in leg 1! then in leg two they somehow trailed the whole thing, a guy almost broke Sinai's head in the wrestling face-off and they had a hilariously disastrous performance in the russian-alphabet-mimic task. despite having everything to be an ~iconic early boot~ team in any TAR season ever, this is TAR israel and somehow everyone else in the cast managed to outshine them one way or another to the point I completely forgot about most things they did until starting this write-up.

### **145. Alex & Adam (The Amazing Race 27)**

the cast of TAR27 was actually really good and we got greeted with a F2 consisting of the only two teams taht weren't ~stars~ in their own way. I mean, Alex & Adam are far from stars but they were really fun during their stay, as seen by: Alex making fun of Adam's (or is it the opposite? idk, they didn't stay long enough for me to distinguish) fear of heights by terrorizing him in the helicopter <3 entering inside of the trash disposals in the cardboard recycling task <3 unfortunately, they were a bottom three that would have a horrid outcome no matter what happened and I actually didn't mind if they were eliminated because I liked the other teams best anyway, however, their reaction upon being eliminated made me feel REALLY bad almost as if I had caused their elimination (lol in hindsight)

### **144. Lily Rutledge-Ellison (King of the Nerds 3)**

ah, and the last genericblonde douchelord enabler is out. but there's obviously a reason why Lily isn't in the hate section with the other ones. actually two. first it's the fact she was actually entertaining and actually rootable in... her boot episode gj. the other and main one is the fact that she did absolutely nothing the first two episodes, then suddenly Tod EXPLODES at her because she's SO FAKE LOOK AT THOSE CROCODILE TEARS and starts calling her fake and a monster while she just there genericblonding, so obviously she started crying like a normal person would do when there's a 300 pound angry ginger yelling at you. and you know how much I like characters who inspire hatred in other people just by existing <3 (unfortunately, just existing isn't enough for me to place her much higher)

### **143. Vivi (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

although she was pretty UTR in episode one, she had a ~breakout~ in her boot episode by being annoying af <3 she asked Tomás if she was doing things correctly after every single step of the recipe and every time she did something wrong she went on a dramatic rant about how everything would be a disaster, which, according to Tomás, was pretty phony and attentionwhorish. I prefer to believe him because it makes Vivi seems much more interesting lol

### **142. Dujean & Leilani (The Amazing Race Canada 3)**

honestly honestly honestly, Leilani was a f.ierce queen, every emotion she expressed was RAW N REAL and she was overall a complete deity, but then we have Dujean. oh god. so, basically any time Dujean was on screen he would be complaining about Leilani, and how she's so slow, and how she did this wrong, and YOU'RE TOO SLOW, and also too bitchy and TOO SLOW and I just wanted him to shut the fuck up. I normally hate the sour hags (even the male ones) but when the purpose of this sour hag is to bitch about their teammate in the most vanilla way possible, subduing Leilani's potential and making many moments when they were on screen severely less enjoyable, I just can't. plus, their elimination episode was hard to watch, on one side I was glad she decided to completely erase him from her life because he was am asshole, but on the other side it was all so uncomfortable to watch I can't even appreciate her righteousness fully

### **141. Charlie Chapman (Masterchef 6)**

Charlie was just a poor boy (his story seldom told) who fixed air conditioners for a living (lol) and somehow had a talent for cooking. his whole tragic-yet-not-overplayed backstory and overall chill personality made him a REALLY likable person. also, when he gave up midway during a task and made an ATROCIOUS cake which tasted surprisingly good, yet was STILL eliminated because it was a double elimination was an amazing moment. I don't like to put him this low, but his one-dimensionalness forces me to do so

### **140. Raul Lemos (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

Raul is one of the kinds of guys I really like on reality shows, he was fun-loving and carefree yet unpretentious and didn't have that in-your-face class-clown-esque behavior. his demise in this ranking was simply cause by the fact he was part of the best Masterchef cast ever, and there wasn't a single episode where he wasn't overshadowed either by the absolute deities or by the odious beasts and just ended up in "mild-like" all the time. the fact he was in the F3 with two g.oddesses didn't help too much either since I felt like rooting against him all episode

### **139. Kevin Martin (Big Brother Canada 3)**

ok, so I was dreading Kevin from the start because he seemed like a Spencer Bledsoe-like character, but when he entered the game he started casually kissing guys just for the hell of it, and being the only straight(?) white person not to be part of that abominable alliance called The Chop Shop. things took a turn for the worse after Sindy's boot, where the Chop Shop convinced him Naeha was a huge threat and he put her up on the spot, only realizing the shit he made when it was too late. then he turned against his ship-tease Johnny and didn't save him from the block which was, once again, heartbreaking, but at least he maintained his fun personality this whole time... that is, until his showmance with Pilar started and made them both devoid of any personality just like Zashley

### **138. John McGuire (Big Brother 17)**

at first I found Johnny Mac ridiculously overrated by fans, both in terms of character and in terms of looks. well, he's still not hot, but I did change my mind when it comes to his personality because he was just... odd. his speech pattern which made him sound inebriated, his random comments in moments which they are completely uncalled for, the fact he was somehow a challenge beast despite being extremely skinny and demented for most of the time. IDK, I was pissed when he returned over many g.oddesses

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_PmRuT\_JXWo

but on the other hand there's this video of him laughing at Steve's fart like a 6 year old so I can't really make up my mind on him

### **137. Becky Burgess (Big Brother 17)**

just what the fuck was Becky? at first she was this unremarkable UTR bitch who pretended to be friends with the people I actually liked then took all information to Clelli and I hated her. but from the moment she said she was HIT BY A TRAIN I knew she was gonna be a star, and she actually became a force of sheer righteousness for like, 2 weeks before being booted. like Johnny Mac, I appreciate how undefined her "character" is, and the fact that due to this she will forever be remembered as "the girl who was hit by a train". also, bobbies

### **136. Johnny Colatruglio (Big Brother Canada 3)**

so, Johnny wasn't a really interesting or engaging character, but I just have a thing for gay RTV contestants who have harmless obsessions with a straight man (Charlie <3) and the fact Kevin actually reciprocated (even if jokingly) was so lulz and... Canadian. his taste in allies was also on point (Sarah) and despite being eliminated so early he managed to make kiss Kevin TWICE and receive a lap dance from not only his Kevvy Wevvy but from Bobby (yes, the one with the nice booty) and GODfrey... I guess after all he was a winner in some way. also Veto, The Dog <3

### **135. Amanda Saab (Masterchef 6)**

Amanda was this meek, mousey creature who was getting such an OTTP edit that in a way reminded me of Christine Ha, so obviously I was invested in rooting for her and expected her to go really far, if not win. she may not have been a STAR, but watching her cake crumble down while her little face started swelling up and dripping tears was painful </3

### **134. Augusto (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

moar #EpisodeOneSlaughter. he was one of the only kids who made me laugh not because of their cute kid antics but for his sense of humour, the guy made references to plenty of things I could relate to, and his habit of constantly self-deprecating whenever he did something wrong was ~so me~ <3 too bad he left on the first task of the first episode </3

### **133. Shirin Oskooi (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

okay, so the second incarnation of Shirin doesn't even come close to her first, but I really enjoy her two-episode storyline. due to her CPP5 g.oddess edit in the first episode, I was expecting this to be The Season of Shirin, only for her to commit the exact same mistake she made in her first time playing and overstrategize, resulting in her isolation from the tribe, accompanied by an obnoxious superfan as her only ally. unfortunately, this time they booted her instead of said obnoxious superfan and we were sentenced to a whole season with Spencer Bledsoe

### **132. Monica Padilla (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

okay, I said Becky's existence was random but there we have Monica Padilla. when she was voted in, I had absolutely no idea what she was like since Samoa is one of the three seasons I haven't watched (the others being RI and CI), so I wasn't too happy but wasn't sad either. in the first three episodes she only had one line which consisted of like, "i'm smol", but then she had this amazing conf about wanting to slit Spencer's throat and anyone who desires slitting Spencer's throat is my friend. in the next episode she develops a feud with also-invisible Kimmi Kappenberg over the most ridiculous subject possible and suddenly she becomes this CPN monster and is mercilessly booted. you could argue she received a bad edit, but it was such a Trish Dunn throwback I actually loved it

### **131. Jacob Rubin (King of the Nerds 3)**

I guess it's a trend I have to see tons of potential in every KotN (US) first boot then be utterly disappointed by their early elimination, and it wasn't different with Jacob. I think he offered us a humor that was kinda different from the OTT in-your-face KotN humor and more of a witty, yet not tryhard deadpan narration. he also reminded me of crabbydad

### **130. Jeff Weldon (Big Brother 17)**

I get Jeff apparently rubbed jizz on Liz' back or something and I think everyone here despises him for this and other reasons I don't remember. I never really liked him in BB either, but then his boot week came (pun intended) and it was amazing to watch EVERYBODY despising him for seemingly no reason and wanting him out, and him thinking he was being a strategic mastermind while falling exactly into everyone's plan. such a difference from stealth hbic Jackie (who also didn't even care about him lol)

### **129. Kerry Allingham (King of the Nerds UK)**

Kerry and Kenny (lol @the names) were really fun on paper for being Matt's bratty evil minions who did all the dirty work for him while he dominated the game. while I really didn't like Kenny for being childish and annoying, Kerry was more of a teenage brat stereotype and the fact it seemed like she gave zero shits about being in the show or making any kind of effort in the challenges was lulz, especially compared to how hyper other nerds were. speaking of nerds, don't remember her showcasing anything nerdy during her whole stay (which was... every episode of the series) aside from her introduction as a gamer

### **128. Ernest & Jin (The Aazing Race 27)**

an M/M team who is defined by their profession and have a sob story? obviously dominate, have an overbearing OTTP edit while being lowkey douchelors, and place somewhere between 4th and 1st, right? nope, they were naturally likable and entertaining, had a good sense of humor and relationship, and... were booted 3rd. whoo

### **127. Violet Chachki (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

Violet started as a really good character, she was arrogant yet incompetent, her clothes were really sloppy (and not intentionally like Adore Delano's), and she openly hated Michelle Visage who is one of the jurors. amazing. I actually loved her the first weeks. only that she had nothing else to her and was dragged until the end by being this MORN2 creature with fugly outfits and occasional one-liners and an unfunny running gag about her abnormally small waist, and to top it off SHE WINS! her win still makes no sense to me, if we're talking about overall talent, Ginger > Violet by far, and when it comes to clothes, fucking PEARL could beat her, seriously. great as a joke, terrible as an actual character. middle-of-the road, then!

### **126. Pilar Nemer (Big Brother Canada 3)**

Pilli had tons of potential, she was my favorite pre-show along with Sarah and Risha, and I actually wanted her to stay in week 1. but oh, how I regretted it. I think what fucked Pilar's edit over was the extreme focus on strategy which reduced her to "she's gullible and doesn't know how to play", but when we get one of the rare moments when the focus shifts to people actually having fun, she is hilarious and I really wish we could have seen more of her :( also, her being in the same audition interview as Zac and him HATING her, then months later datinga guy from tinder and discover he's actually Pilli's brother is my favorite (and only) TDIFFWikia/RTV crossover ever

### **125. Tempest DuJour (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

Kennedy was a bad sour hag because she was TOO sour, Ginger did it a little better, but here we were robbed of the TRUE sour hag of RPDR7 in the form of Tempest Dujour, who arrived at the show literally dropping a (plastic) baby from her nonexistent uterus <3 he was the oldest queen ever on the show and unfortunately her whole character was reduced to Kandy being a Ho (geddit?) to her about her age, then her being booted over... I think it was Jaydin Dior Fierce, who proceeded to fuck up constantly for the whole show until her boot, and not even in an entertaining way. I was madly rooting for her in the returnee comp, but nope, it had to be the bore Trixie Mattell, ugh

### **124. Jasmine Masters (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

at first I found Jasmine Masters annoying af, but then I realized that was her whole charm. her voice was GRATING and she was ridiculously over-the-top (when you're too OTT in a reality show about Drag Queens there's something wrong), and despite her being quite sympathetic at times, I was glad she was booted early and think it was the perfect place, because I don't think I could have taken too much more of her. also, her criticizing Pearl's... chin ornament, then doing something that looked like an even more fucked up version of it on a challenge lol <3

### **123. Michael Motamedi (Masterchef Canada 2)**

I actually really liked Michael and kinda feel bad for putting him this low, but after the first episodes the focus on him, his weirdly-plated dishes (blue-velvet-shoe cake <3) and overall wtf appearance started to slowly fade until he became just a MOR "contender". I think he would get too stale if he lasted even longer so I'm glad he went home when he did. also lol @two fashion stylists in two different Masterchefs in the same year

### **122. Eduardo (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

oh my god, I can't believe this kid actually exists and I can't tell how hilarious it was for him to be such a megadouche the whole season <3 Eduardo honestly got annoying at times, but the edit made fun of his arrogance, the jurors made fun of his arrogance, his teammates made fun of his arrogance, and his edit made it obvious he wouldn't win, so I couldn't help but find him hilarious <3 also, in episode 7 I was firmly #TeamEduardo in his feud with Lorenzo; they were both being douchenozzles but only Eduardo was painted as one </3

### **121. So Kim (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

and So, it ends. I'm sorry to disappoint all fans, So Kim actually had an amazing first boot arc but it wasn't enough to propel her much higher for some reasons. The So Kim Experience begins with her as That R.obbed G.oddess From SJDS who's called "So" and had a sister named Doo who Mellisa McNulty'd, end ends with her being the first boot of the next season, in probably the best episode of the season (lol @WA) and involving circumstances such as the iconic Neutral Box excuse <3 but although all those amazing circumstances surround her, she lacks a personality that makes you invested and I can't imagine me liking her too much if it weren't for the whole So Kim journey

### **120. Kelly Wiglesworth (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

she is this high as a protest, I want the impeachment of Jeff Probst (but I can't deny a OTTP5 UTR1forever UTR2 edit is iconic, just not for KELLY FUCKING WIGLESWORTH)

### **119. Kelly & Shevonne (The Amazing Race 27)**

yah, they were terrible, but I enjoyed how terrible they were since they were first boots. ok, first of all, making fun of Caitlyn Jenner and Kim Kardashian aren't things to brag about, both Jenner-Kardashian-Whatever girls already do this job better than you two. so obviously, all this opening about dishing dirt and throwing shade and serving tea or whatever already put me off, and making fun of cheerleaders for being dumb? you call that shade? my grandfather could say that. so it was pretty cool to see them being owned by the cheerleaders in the end in a PUZZLE, then staying there for so long Phil had to eliminate them mid-race <3 from the stankness they showcased till this point I was expecting them to be bitter cunts but they took it really well, complete with self deprecating humor and a walk towards the sunset to get to the nearest caipirinha bar closing the episode

### **118. Peih-Gee Law (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

China Peih-Gee is in my Top10 contestants ever and I was ECSTATIC when she showed up in the potential returnees list. I lost all hope for three seconds when Jeff said just on of T-Bird/Valencia/her would return, only to BE ALIVE AGAIN (RIP T-Bird tho). of course I was ready for the Peih Gee ownage and... her whole plot of episode one revolves around being unjustly accused by Abi of stealing her (fake) gold bracelets (<3 and </3 at the same time), they somehow manage to vote together and stay in the majority until the first swap. now, many people blame Abi for this, but everything would go relatively well, Jeff would go home which I wouldn't mind and who know what could happen. instead Peih Gee wanted Abi out and... "If you fuck you me you're dead". also, her liking being called 'mom' by fans <3 LEARN FROM THAT, JENNNNNNNN!

### **117. Adrilles Jorge (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

okaaaay, so Adrilles is obviously atrocious in real life because a) he is a fan of Olavo de Carvalho and b)he is known for previously stalking former BBB women and even asking a first boot obese woman to let him lick her feet when he "met" her in the streets. but I prefer to take this as lulzy and pathetic until he sexually assaults someone. moving on, not only all those "qualities" apply to him, but he is also a 40 year old poet who lives with his mother and in the house he was just... a hilariously awkward being who happened to start the game in the shitty alliance, but thankfully broke out later and took his equally hilariously awkward ally Mariza with him <3 (more on their antics in Mariza's write-up) people always tried to force the cloud cuckoolander role on Cézar but Adrilles was MUCH better at this than the eventual winner, plus, who can forget the most riveting moment in the history of Big Brother Brasil? (maybe from the whole franchise)

### **116. Hamilton Carvalho (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

another guy who was insufferable but ended up being Hilarious was Hamilton. first of all, military men = eww. he started the game really cockily and the fact he's one of my least favorite archetypes ever didn't help, but then came the third episode and he had to work with fish. his first recipe ended up as a disaster, so he tried to salvage it into sushi rolls... only he used regular rice and cooked, white fish. since it was too bland looking, he added TOMATO SAUCE and the result was him being absolutely bashed by the judges and sent home. but this wasn't the end, RETURNEE CHALLENGE! so, in this challenge the twist was to change baskets after picking the ingredients and he ended up changing baskets with a crazy baker hag was was booted first. not only was he completely unfamiliar with every element in it ("wtf is mascarpone?"), he also spent the whole challenge feuding with Patrizia, and in the end served the judges with a lackluster cookie covered in something that was supposed to be a strawberry foam but it melted completely, resulting in a MASSIVE, moist cookie oozing some pink substance <3

### **115. Pnina & Chen (HaMerotz LaMillion 4)**

okay, I think this placement says exactly how much ironic love can maintain someone in the running, and I say this because ironic love is the ONLY reason for them to be this high. for those who don't know The Legendary Journey of Pnina & Chen, it all started when HaMerotz4 was supposed to be a Celebrity Season and Pnina Roseblum, some socialite hag with a failed music career AND a failed political career (pretty sure she once ran for prime minister) was rumored to be in and pfffft, as if. well, she turned out to be in even though it wasn't even a celebrity season! so there she is, with her daughter, in the starting line. I'm getting all those Debbie & Dana (look up) vibes from them and... oooh, Pnina took an ugly fall right in the starting line and- wait- yup, they're medevac'd

### **114. Mike & Rochelle (The Amazing Race 26)**

so, Mike & Rochelle started out as one of my favorites since they were really chill people despite Mike looking like a douchelord at first glance. they were always pleasant, their relationship was great with Mike being a decent human being unlike 95% of men and dating a woman who has a child from a past relationship (her son is the most freaking adorable thing ever btw <3). also, them winning leg 3 by far, which is even more hilarious because it featured a drag task <3 some time later, I guess mid-season they started to fade amidst such an amazing cast and by the end they got an overbearing (though not forced because it was true) underdog edit which made me fear they would win over more interesting teams... looking at the winners, now I wish they had won \*sigh\*

### **113. Andrey (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

honestly, Andrey is only that high in thsi list because one of the things that really bothered me this season was that basically 90% of the cast was made of upper or upper-middle class white kids and Andrey was clearly the odd-one-out in the cast. I loved how he was ~in awe~ in being there and the whole "poor chubby black baker kid" reminded me of the earth angel Estefano from the regular Masterchef <3 his plate idea was also AMAZING and I was really sad he couldn't pull it off and ended up being a victim of EpisodeOneSlaughter (also, him pinching Jacquin's cheeks <3)

### **112. Roni & Yael (HaMerotz LaMillion 4)**

out of all the F/F teams, the one which contains the Israeli Britney Spears, Roni "Superstar" Duani, manages to be the most normal one and that alone already amazes me. I think that's what captivated me the most about them, in a cast so OTT, a team who would be just UTRBlondes actually get really relatable and rootable at times! aside from this sense of ~identification~, they also had one of the season's scariest moments when a canoe flipped OVER them during a face-off, almost causing Roni to drown, and that scared her so much she actually quit the task immediately and decided to wait for every single team to pass through so they could finally take the 15-minute penalty and continue the race, but that didn't really help as they were gone in the same leg. the fact they were the closest we got to "common people" plus they're ~raw 'n' real~ face-off moment manage to boost them this high, grats gurls!

### **111. Hali Ford (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

ok, I get Hali has many fans due to her UTRandom nature, and I do really like her (hence why she's this high), but I struggle to put her higher than this because she brought nothing to the table whatsoever besides a couple of lulzy confessionals and a glimpse of hope for the future of the season right before being mercilessly booted </3

### **110. Raychelle Keeling (King of the Nerds 3)**

Raychelle is honestly so weird because she was completely UTR during the beginning of the game sans her coming out which started a circle reaction of coming-outs <3 then in mid-game she just provided some ^\_^ yet still down-to-earth and relatable commentary in confessionals that really boosted my opinion on her. I wish we could have had more of her narration in the early game, since she never really have a major role in the whole season

### **109. Jason Roy (Big Brother 17)**

Jason was a surreal character, an extremely campy cashier who lives in his mother's basement and is obsessed with Tengaged, that's strangely how I imagine most tengagers to act/look like so it was pretty great, honestly. the immediate latch to black women and the subsequent cringe-y comments about how ~fierce~ they are in their "best" sassy-black-woman-voice, the ability to be observant yet really bad when it comes to actually making moves, if that doesn't scream tengayged idk what does (jk I know, LargeMarge69xJenzie). I was pretty amazed at his character as a whole not even for being a relatable or righteous person, he wasn't, but for being such a caricature and apparently... that actually being himself lulz <3 I was sad he went so UTR in his later weeks

### **108. Christopher Lu (Masterchef 6)**

ok, Christopher wasn't a particularly engaging character, he was just an arrogant, small Asian twentysomething, but there was something extremely pleasurable in watching him getting constantly shat on. the three instances I can remember now include the TWO times he was acting condescending to Christona Tosi, unleashing the elusive OTTNchristina who scolded him as if he were her bratty teenaged son <3 "LOOK AT ME WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU" <3 and the other one was when he, a manager at a meat specialized restaurant, lost the beef wellington challenge BY FAR to Hetal, the Hindu-vegetarian, who touched meat as if she were touching somebody's rotten corpse <3 (which is true in a way)

### **107. Debra Pangetsu (Masterchef Canada 2)**

she was just so freaking adorable I have no reason to rank her this high, honestly. she looked like a little, definitely NOT decrepit rodent creature. she also had this EXTREMELY squeaky voice that reminded me of that background character waitress from Big Bang Theory whose name I don't even remember, but it worked so well with her gerbil-like features <3

### **106. Amanda Liston (King of the Nerds 3)**

another really ~neat lady~ who was r.obbed both by a bad edit and by the game as a whole. it's rare for us to get older people in KotN and Amnda is the closest we have to "The Mom" of the series. she was sweet, caring and yet would pop with unexpected surprises such as coming out as bi out of nowhere, screaming "Plimple!" when she had to name a Pokémon in a quick-fire game, and of course drunk-making-out with Raychelle despite having a husband and two baby boys <3 luckily they're still a happy family and according to instagram SHE JUST HAD TRIPLETS <3 also, the way she was eliminated was so sad and out of nowhere that I can't help but scream "RAWBBED"

### **105. Jazmine & Danielle (The Amazing Race 27)**

the race started and I was expecting JazDan (thanks Dyna) to be a pair of incompetent bumblefucks and... they somehow managed to get 2nd place almost snatching the win from the overdog (at the time lol) alpha dudebro team <3 I was so pumped for a JazDan domination after that, so of course we were bombarded by a never-ending streak of fuck-ups, culminating to their elimination leg which was the most liner leg in that shit and they still managed to royally fuck up not only by missing the lion task clue, but by crossing the freaking border of Zimbabwe back and forth (forever) <3 <3 <3 unfortunately they weren't the most interesting peeps personality-wise, aside from the "flabby abs" comment that really caught me off guard in Leg2 lol <3

### **104. Jeff Varner (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

k, if anybody knows about my AO opinions, I had a seething hatred towards Varner, putting him above only the hellcunt A\*\*\*\*a and... my opinions on AO Varner didn't change shit! however, it was really fun to see the arrogant, proto-DavidMurphy dipshit stud somehow becoming this goofy fat camp gay who talks about his ~rebith~ in the game of survivor and stars scenes such as getting bit in the ass by a bug mid-sentence in a confessional <3 I was REALLY happy Jeff took the side of NewSchool and booted Vytas consequently sparing Abi, and I think his bitching about his alliance members later on was warranted because they were annoying af (and that's why I love them). I think he went at the perfect time, since I'm afraid of imagining him in a power position. so, to sum up, if you fuck with me you're dead

## The Rootable Peeps

### **103. Tomás (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

the reason I like Tomás is because he really surprised me! when he started by saying he was doing ~rustic potatoes~ and ~banana farofa~ I was expecting him to be just one of the 3000 follower boys who wanted to impress Fogaça (aka the most boring judge). While I was right that he wanted to impress Fogaça in the first task, after that he showed he was actually really smart and as far as coming up with dishes, he was the best in my opinion. All this while keeping the child-like manner (after all, UR STILL A CHILDREN GURL!!!!!!) , by saying things like "I wanted to throw an anvil on that clown" or "Paola is the best cook of all decades of all universes". He was surprisingly mature when it came to food, but childish in his approach to life, which was a really fun combination. btw, he was rawbbed!

### **102. Francieli Medeiros (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

ok, this may all be due to my hatred towards the reason for her boot but TRUST ME SHE WAS GREAT. so, the female cast of BBB15 was REALLY strong and I loved literally all of them upon release (friendly reminder Aline wasn't there on release), but even though we had the Hag Mariza, Franciele was BY FAR my favorite. I mean, OCD Criminal analyst hbic who says she'll PLAY HARD (something that, unlike survivor, is a good thing for non-casual viewers in BBB), enters the house and forms an alliance with The Hag and the 40-year-old perverted poet who still lives with his mom, how can you not like that? well, turns out GANDHI quit the show before entering and that fucking PHOHKAH PLAYAH entered the house even though he watched all their promos on TV before, which resulted in him ratting out Fran to her alliance, the amazing alliance flipping to the ShittyCouple's side and Fran being the Week 1 boot, grats. oh yeah then she was fired from her job as a crime analyst for filming her audition in her office without permission from her superiors, RIP

### **101. Larissa Douat (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

yes, this is the first of the three people who were out in Episode 1 of Masterchef Brazil. the other two reached Top90 and yes, this is real life. honestly, Larissa didn't have any ~memorable moment~, but I found her personality so entertaining, mostly because it reminded me a lot of some of my friends. most of the time while she spoke it seemed like her mind was in somewhere else completely, it's like the caricature of the ~estudante de humanas~ (only Bruno will get this but you can't have it all, Americans) and I was LIVING for her but Marcos robbed her with his shitty hollandaise sauce just because hers didn't have the right texture. did I mention I harbor a hatred of Marcos just for this? yeah, I think I did

### **100. Max & Elias (The Amazing Race Canada 3)**

more really cool people who were booted in the first episode, whoo! so, this team called my attention at first because in the cast pic, Max looked like a cross between Ariana Grande and Iggy Azalea, and when I saw their intro in episode one I realized how amazing their dynamic was, they were like two overgrown children in love <3 reminds me of Jonathan and Libby (not to be confused with Jonathan Libby) from TDReality, but more bearable <3 so, being an athlete, Elias offered to do the task at the sports channel studio and the task was... work as a sports anchor by being charismatic while reading your lines on a monitor. and Elias has dyslexia, so you know how it ended. the scene where Max talks about her boyfriend and the way Elias fumbles with reading from the monitor was already pretty touching for me, and there was so much wasted potential on these two cuties being eliminated first that it broke my heart </3

### **99. Yochi & Linor (HaMerotz LaMillion 4)**

on paper, Yochi & Linor have everything to be the best team of the season: they are an inept F/F team who manages to fuck something up every single leg, are VERY prone to meltdowns and somehow manages to make it to the Final 3 <3 unfortunately, there were many things going against them on the actual show, such as the fact they constantly needed help from an M/M team and filled the damsel in distress role instead of just heroically solving their fuck-up by themselves and somehow barely staying in. they also frequently survived over AMAZING teams (including all the other FOUR F/F teams who were early boots) even though they made countless mistakes; and when they got last really early in the game it was IN THE RACE'S ONLY NEL so I was pissed. however, when you ignore all the people they r.obbed and accept they made final 3 despite having at least three meltdowns each leg, things become pretty comical instead of tragic. also, their sudden turn from shrieky incompetent messes to shrieky incompetent supervillains after Raz & Alexa's boot was lolz

### **98. Jenn Brown (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

I know Jenn gets a lot of flack for her jury speech and I agree it's completely deserved. with that in mind, Jenn makes my Top92 (lol) even with that going against her because I loved her presence in this horrid season. Jenn was a very prominent narrator in the early stages of the game and her narrations was one of the best as her voice suggested she didn't give a fuck about anything, even after finding an idol early in the season <3 another thing I enjoy in Jenn is that she is genuinely the ~character~ she was in the confessional, snarky and didn't really give a fuck about anything (TAKE NOTE, CORINNE!) as proved by camp-life scenes, and especially her last episodes where she was just like "eh, I don't really care about this anymore" and had this amazing TC dialogue with Jeff Probst which can be summarized with "why don't you just quit?"/"k" in a very Lisi Linares-esque fashion <3 so the reason I liked Jenn is the fact that she is just a naturally sour and disinterested human being who despite basically quitting the show still got a high-vis CP edit in the first half of the season <3 further proof she's just as sour irl include her post where she says she expresses her discomfort towards her fans calling her "mom" in a... not quite nice way, and according to my source (a lucky Brazilian guy who took a pic with Rachel Reilly and Abi Maria Gomes in a swimming pool) she attended one of those survivor alumni events and not only was an ass to her fans but left much earlier because she was hating it <3

### **97. Joe Anglim (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

as much as I agree SC Joe sucks and is just a boring overdog, I actually found WA Joe a great character because right in the beginning he fit one of my favorite character archetypes; the whole one-sided Vince/Joe conflict was lolz because Joe did absolutely nothing and Vince was obviously EXTREMELY jealous of him because... he's prettier, and came up with excuses to take him out first <3 anyone capable of inspiring seething hatred on terrible people solely by existing is already a g.od <3 furthermore, contrary to popular belief, Joe didn't get such an OTTP edit in WA like he did in Cambodia, he was a pretty average guy and even was painted negatively at times during the Nina drama. oh, and don't forget the moment when Joaquin asks him "is Rodney smart?" and he give him that face you see above <3 I wish the menopausal women didn't go rabid on him so we could have gotten a better edit for Joe 2.0 </3

### **96.Tiltil & Mizrahi (HaMerotz LaMillion 4)**

in the beginning I didn't really like Mizrahi because it seemed like he didn't want to be there, but later on I started loving these guys because it was obvious why Mizrahi seemed so uncomfortable at times, his partner was a fucking psycho <3 I typically hate OTT males but the thought of this big load of a guy being dragged around by a tiny hyperactive middle-aged man who did everything frantically and spoke everything while shouting was amazing! Tiltil's interactions with locals were also amazing because it consisted mostly of OTT mimic to ask for directions while Mizrahi was there in the background wanting to die. and a fun trivia: somehow Tiltil won Survivor Israel right after participating on TAR... I'm really curious to know how his edit was. oh, and he won in a firemaking challenge after the jury vote resulted in a tie. Israel RTV always being a mess <3

### **95. Shay & Adi (HaMerotz LaMillion 4)**

twincest is wincest! anyway, at first I hated Shai & Adi for being blandly incompetent bores constantly survived over FAHR superior teams in a race for last place, but some time later I came to realize they were actually kind of hilarious in their constant mishaps in every way possible, especially considering they had everything to be your typical ~alpha male team~ but are actually two buffoons. speaking of buffoons, I also realized that what I considered "bland" in the beginning was actually them being extremely inept for cameras (someone on sucks made a comparison to Kelly Czarnecki and yes) which resulted in an impression that they weren't really there for to win. another plus is that they had really cute (although borderline homoerotic) displays if brotherly love that oscillates between "awwwwwwww" and hilariously awkward

### **94. Libby & CJ (The Amazing Race 26)**

well, they were kinda obviously early boots and just the fact they miraculously survived leg 1 after several fuck-ups (getting lost in Japan's train station <3 having trouble with a taxi driver then struggling to find another taxi, and when they finally find one it's the same guy <3) already filled me with joy. their elimination came in the following leg, though, but they went out with STYLE. and by style, I mean, they were eliminated by missing a train because they were too busy taking a selfie. also, Libby's constant nagging of CJ to get engaged <3

### **93. Yasmeen Ojeleye (King of the Nerds UK)**

okaaaay, I was pretty mixed on Yasmin because in three episodes she goes from underestimated reject to savior of her team, to incompetent mess, to shrill, self-righteous defender of "playing a fair game" and not making alliances with that devil Hannah. and even though she was pretty terrible in the last part, I still felt sad to see her go the next episode because she managed to be such a complex character while staying for so short of a time. like a black, British version of the goddess known as Alana Smith-Brown

### **92. Woo Hwang (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

while I firmly stand for my opinion that Woo was a non entity in Cagayan, who only stepped up in the finale just to actively ruin the season, I can't deny CambodiaWoo was an earth angel <3 there's really not much, he was just a sweet cinnamon roll too good for this world too pure who was robbed over SPENCER BLEDSOE WHYWHYWHYWHY

### **91. Debbie MacDonald (Masterchef Canada 2)**

get ready for an early boot slaughter!!!! we sadly saw very little of Debbie but she was such a sweet, adorable, yet oblivious lady who unfortunately (although hilariously) cooked horrid dishes and was eliminated week 1, breaking the hearts of whoever cares enough to watch Masterchef Canada

### **90. Risha Denner (Big Brother Canada 3)**

and here we get another horribly robbed Canadian hag but this one was pretty much the opposite of Debbie, as in, she's an OTTN bitch cougar mom slay hunty. she was immediately outcast in the beginning for being old and looking like a giraffe with silicone implants and barely got a chance to recover, but she didn't let her obvious defeat beat her ash she tried everything to endear the Canadian public, such as angrily cursing literally everybody in the house for doing yoga (all this while flawlessly applying her mascara, werk) and getting naked in the hot tub probably forgetting no straight man watches Big Brother, let alone straight man who would find a 40 year old woman attractive enough to keep her for her bobbies. RIP

### **89. Naeha Sareen (Big Brother Canada 3)**

Naeha is a weird presence because at the same time she didn't do much, everyone saw her like this huge mastermind queen manipulator who had the game in her hands while all she did was stand there in a corner looking like Grumpy Cat 24/7. she also was hilariously aggressive during HoH comps, most notable the quiz one which preceded her ridiculously unceremonious elimination </3 oh, she also showed her boss-ass-bitchiness in the returnee comp, but ultimately lost to Sindy, the girl who's allergic to exercising (but hey, I'm not complaining)

### **88. Lívia (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

so, I found Lívia to be this extremely boring waste of space in a cast with so many hilarious personalities up until the very last episode, where I came to the conclusion she's a literal angel, she was such an UTRP entity and while she didn't have any actual ~moments~, she was just this adorable girl who was happy no matter what happened and also never, ever fucked up any time in the show except... in the finale. she served some disastrous dessert which resulted in Lorenzo winning ew

### **87. Daphne (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

so, Daphne wasn't too much of a character. actually, Daphne's mom and her permanent resting bitchface were more of a character than Daphne herself

BUT, she was just really relatable! she wasn't omgadorable like most of the kids but she was so genuine and camera-shy it ended up being just as adorable as kids doing wtf kid stuff and I couldn't help but feel like I was there in her place. also, her reaction upon winning the empanada challenge and having her empanada in Chef Paola's restaurant menu <3 <3 <3

### **86. Mariza Moreira (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

I have to confess I kiiiiiiiinda hated Mariza throughout most of BBB15 but once I came to the realization that I can't just hate amazing characters just because they're associated with alliances I dislike. Mariza is the hag I mentioned in Franciely's entry (go back there), who despite having an amazing personality, flipped on Fran with her whole alliance because of Marco's privileged information </3 after firmly nominating Fran to eviction and subsequently aligning herself with the grossest couple in the history of BBB, I had a fiery hatred for her but when I coldly analyze all her antics such as dressing up as a ninja for no reason at all but ending up looking like a member of Al Qaeda, painting New-Zealand war marks on her face before any eviction announcements when she was on the block, or throwing a massive tantrum and threatening to quit because she didn't want to dress up as a top and spin around the backyard as a punishment, I can't help but recognize she was almost the only person worth watching after the alliance I rooted for was decimated. also, SHE WAS BOOTED OVER THE EVENTUAL WINNER IN THE FINAL 5 BY LIKE, A 0,2% MARGIN AND I'M STILL SALTY

### **85. Susan & Sharnjit (The Amazing Race Canada 3)**

two moms of ambiguous heritage (I think one is Indian and the other Latina, no idea) who kinda look like Gretchen and are jail wardens with a super badass intro shot? obviously the confrontational, righteous, take-no-prisoners F/F team. then the show starts and they're bumblefucking g.oddesses with a track record of two consecutive 11th places and an absolutely hilarious yet endearing performance from Susan in the sports narrating Roadblock (\*ridiculously long silence\* and ahm susan c: ) <3 in the second episode Sharn had an omgadorable bonding moment with a random local child because #TeamMom but in the end they got screwed by... I don't really remember what (lol) and were beaten by GINO & JESSE (who ended up being douchelords and dominating the game until winning) by minutes. WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN???????

### **83. Neil & Kristin (The Amazing Race Canada 3)**

while Neil & Kristin do kinda fit as the latest addition to the category of "slightly underedited albeit really likable sportsman & daughter" teams with stars Steve & Allie and Ross & Taryn, I think Kristin had a little more to her than just ~likablity~, she was spunky! they started kinda MORtoneless and boring, but the more they showed Kristin's overly-excited side the more I love them, especially the crime scene investigation task where teams kept complaining in the confessional about how she wouldn't shut up <3 oh, and Neil was just like all the other sportsman dads who race with their daughter... not that that's a bad thing

### **82. Jackie Ibarra (Big Brother 17)**

given how fun-loving and outspoken Jackie was while on TAR, plus how she kept throwing herself over Jeff (the only "blind date" person to do so, lol), I expected her to be this Rachel Reilly-esque OTT mess on Big Brother but the result, while not as impacting, was just as interesting because she became this UTR calculating stealthkiller season-savior who- oh wait Steve took her out as soon as she emerged as a hbic g.oddess, yay (:

### **81. Shelly Flash (Masterchef 6)**

although Shelly stopped ~FLASHING~ later on the season, she did win my heart by being the first person in this cast with, to paraphrase our former president Lula, clit hard enough not to take shit from that asshole Derrick and his alpha male superiority complex and even though she was massacred by him in every humiliation conga way possible that episode, she still survived! and kept barely surviving plenty of eliminations until her eventual demise. if only she continued to butt heads with that douchecanoe... but at least she still showed us how beautiful she is inside and out during those episodes <3

### **80. Aly & Steve (The Amazing Race 26)**

as soon as the cast was revealed I pegged Aly & Steve as "That One Team Who Will Show Up First In The Opening, Be Generically Likable, Make It To The Finals, But Will Not Win" and while they were exactly what I expected in the beginning, getting 4 consecutive last places in my rankings as the season started, they had SUCH a breakout in their last two episodes with Aly freaking out about the car tires and annoying Steve to no end just to end up actually being right and the tire being flat <3 after getting NEL'd they couldn't recover but managed to be likable AND lulzy in their last episode, which won me over. I love when teams surprise me positively... BUT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THEIR SHOWING UP FIRST IN THE INTRO

### **79. Talita Araújo (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

this bitch right here started out being super basic and other half of the UTRcouple with shitty Rafael Licks, but as soon as she got in a fight with that asshole poker player she became such a QUEEN <3 she was uber aggro and spat all the truth at his face, exposing all of that hypocritical "good people" bullshit which... didn't result in much because the Brazilian public is dumb. then she proceeded to be a naggy aggro moodswing nuisance to Rafael until their eventual break up, it was funny but not just enough to get her higher than this. oh yeah, she also fucked Rafael without condoms and thought she was pregnant for a while, too bad she didn't become the first BBB contestant to get pregnant in the house :(

### **78. Cindy & Rick (The Amazing Race 27)**

our current TAR scenario is usually overridden by big personalities and interesting, unusual characters. so much I can now find tons of charm and appeal in a team as normal as them, the slightly controlling but far from abusive Rick and the slightly whiny but far from a shrieking harpy Cindy, who raced all the time making questionable decisions (leaving the Roadblock before completing it in Zambia <3) and awkward comments such as comparing arranging a plate of seafood to operating someone's mouth or screaming that something is "ridonculous". Rick was also really cheery and UTRfun, one of those people whose happiness makes you happy, and I really enjoyed their brand of ^^ awkwardness interrupted by some sour hagging here and there

### **77. Matt & Ashley (The Amazing Race 26)**

here we have a team that's pretty much like Cindy & Rick, the one average as fuck couple who somehow end up being really rootable by having random moments of MORlol-ness such as gobbling down a completely unrelated egg in the Hundred-Year-Old-Egg task <3 Matt forgetting his bag (with the reign) at the detour on the leg he planned on proposing to Ashley <3 stopping their car for some unfathomable reason, causing all teams behind them to get stuck rage <3 Ashley's story about her telling a girl who liked Matt that he was gay only to subsequently date him <3 Matt miserably failing at the "find the pair of this shoe" task <3 this causing their downfall </3

### **76. Sabrina Kanai (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

Sabrina was initially bunched up in the bundle of incompetent messes on the first episode and nearly escaped it together with Marcos and Jiang, and while Marcos became a bore until his boot and Jiang became a dominant force later on, Sabrina managed to somehow survive for a looooong time despite sucking just as much as she did in the beginning <3 she somehow made it to the Top 7 while winning ONE challenge her entire journey and kept her brand of Sabrina sassiness in the confessionals from start to finish. I must confess by the end of her journey I was getting quite tired of her and wasn't even that bothered when she was gone but BOOM, in her exit interview she reveals SHE WAS PREGNANT THE WHOLE TIME SHE WAS ON THE SHOW therefore becoming the Brazilian equivalent to Utopia's Amanda (IN YOUR FACE, TALITA)

### **75. Cody Karey (Masterchef Canada 2)**

oh, what a journey. Cody was basically INV until around episode 3 where he decided to emerge as a major douchenugget and after winning a mystery box challenge he decided NOT to take the advantage (aka immunity this for next challenge) because he 'could not pass the honor of cooking with truffles" and was a hundred percent confident in his abilities. so he made an exaggeratedly garnished clusterfuck of a dish that had more colors than the San Francisco gay parade and was ALMOST booted, reaching bottom 2. after this episode he continued being a douchelord but didn't stay for too much time. THEN, the returnee competition happened and for some reason production decided that a cast with uneven genders wasn't enough, so they chose only men to compete in the returnee challenge: Kevin, a bore; Andrew, a sanctimonious bore, and Cody who everyone hated and didn't want coming back. the circumstances made me madly root for Cody in this comp, and I guess that's where I saw the light and started appreciating his hilarious megadouchiness. thank god he returned and was a constant topic of other people's bitching up to his satisfying boot on the Top4 <3

### **74. Aisha (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

THIS GIRL, on the first episode everyone was there being an OTT cute kid and she was such a focused boss-ass-bitch with adorable puffy lips <3 she was such an adorable grumpy munchkin who was so short that couldn't even be seen behind the Mystery Box in the Mystery Box Challenges and had to use a stool to cook <3 unfortunately, as the game went by she lost a little of her cool, calm and collected side and morphed into full-kid mode at times, but we can't forget her glorious elimination where she forgets to use basically 8 out of the 10 ingredients she needed for her couscous <3

### **73. Hamilton & Michaelia (The Amazing Race Canada 3)**

oh my god, where do we start. when I first saw Hamilton & Michaelia I was sure they would be "That One Team Who Will Show Up First In The Opening, Be Generically Likable, Make It To The Finals, But Will Not Win" considering all the hype around Hamilton being the first trans man on TAR. they started the game being fairly competent and even won the express pass, but from that moment on I knew they would be trainwrecks because THEY USED IT RIGHT ON THE NEXT TASK! I get Hamilton wasn't comfortable enough with his body to wear the garments for the dance task but IT WAS A DETOUR, why didn't they go recite Uruguayan poetry? anyway, next leg they were fairly irrelevant, Hamilton was still an awkwardorable angel and they gave their EP to Brent & Sean <3 and right in the next episode they went full-on clusterfuck mode and morphed into one of my favorite archetypes: the M/F team where the guy is a whiny wimp who can't do anything and the girl has to drag him around all tasks <3 and if it wasn't enough they (by that I mean Hamilton, obviously) lost their fucking passport and even though it seemed like they could recover, they didn't make it. their stay was fairly short, but it sure was a journey.

### **72. Kass McQuillen (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

#ChaosMana

nah, this isn't supposed to be a CONTROVERSIAL CUT, I loved Kass (in different degrees) in both seasons and overall Kass is a Top5 Survivor ever, but I have to admit I was pretty underwhelmed by her overall Cambodia presence. I really enjoyed her weird morph into an UTRPangel in the beginning and how everyone still thought she was El Diablo and I was sooo anticipating her breakout when she goes full-on #ChaosKass but it was a) kinda sloppy, really, her outburst at Tasha seemed pretty childish to me and b) short lived, as she was unceremoniously and VERY predictably booted in the exact same episode. regardless, Kass is still Kass so her personality alone manages to keep her this high. oh, and a funny extra tidbit: I was SO hoping that Kelley managed to fool those guys with Keith's fake idol made out of #KindKass's act of #kindness in the finale, it would have been the greatest Chekhov's gun in history and propel her to like, Top10 of 2015. what could have been </3

### **71. Jeff & Jackie (The Amazing Race 26)**

in a blind-date season, Jeff & Jackie were the only team to show any semblance of sexual attraction towards each other so we already have a plus here! while some blind date teams were amazing for how the clashed, this one was amazing for how much they just got along. actually, in the beginning, Jacky just obsessively clung to Jeff and he looked kinda pissed but then they started actually liking each other (as friends, I reckon) and their relationship just ended up being really cute and genuine. the only thing that wasn't genuine was the edit trying to force an actual relationship and treating that little smooch in each other's lips in Monaco as something bigger than it was. still two angels tho <3

### **70. Patrizia Martins (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

ok I must start saying I ADORE her and it pains me to put her this low, but it just doesn't seem fair to other contestants/teams who had FAHR more content. so, Patrizia was not only the first boot of the season, but a mid-episode boot so that gives you an idea of how much I like her. why do I like her? well, she was crazy. not over-the-top, loud, screeching crazy, but... well... her occupation was listed as ~plastic artist~, she spoke in a hilarious manner and said some obvious things like "nuts are like... the seeds... of TREES" in such a way that it seemed like an out-of-this-world deviation, AND she also prepared her plates in some weird avant-garde geometrical shape and it ended up being atrocious and she was booted first </3 THEN, in the returnee comp she emerged once again as a g.oddess most high by partaking in the feud previously mentioned in Hamilton's write-up, which consisted of him bitching at her for picking "shitty" ingredients and her throwing shade at how much of a bad cook he was because he couldn't even bake <3

### **69. Tzuki & Huti (HaMerotz LaMillion 4)**

just re-read the first sentence on Patrizia's write-up. now proceed: being a specimen of a rare TAR Team Archetype (The Loud Cousins) which is probably my favorite of them all, I was immediately IN LOVE with Tzuki & Huti and all their aggressive shrieking, aggressive laughter, quasi-incestuous relationship and utter race dominance, leading the whole leg up to the clue which directed them to the pit-stop. that's when they got lost for so long that every other team managed to pass them on the way to the pit-stop and they were the first team to be booted if you don't count Pnina & Chen's forty-five-second journey. fun fact, the pit stop they got lost in their way to was not only a famous stadium, but it was also IN THEIR OWN HOMETOWN

### **68. Lucas Furtado (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

what the fuck is this mutant? but really, Lucas is such a weird entity and I think this just shows how tri-dimensional the Masterchef Brasil edit manages to make most of the contestants <3 in the beginning of the season I found him pretty cocky and annoying, he got angry easily at tasks and had an overall stank attitude, however, when he started being noticed for being a great cook and producing some REALLY creative dishes his REAL arc started because despite him wanting to always make outstanding stuff, he always left everything for the last second, which botched everything he did before and it was HILARIOUS <3 especially when Chef Paola started nagging on every single time he did this, they had such an endearing mother/son-like relationship <3 I kinda felt like ~the magic was gone~ when he returned for an event and Paola was EXTREMELY pissed at him for refusing a job she literally(?) handed him

### **67. Kaitlin Spak (King of the Nerds 3)**

Kaitlin is a character that started REALLY promising as a nerd with the dullest voice, strange mannerims and apparently no heart... imagine Sheldon Cooper without being shoved down your throat as a comedy genius. unfortunately, she started getting a gradually smaller edit until her role in the season was reduced to "that one last Colby Burnett ally who will slay the evil alliance" until the last episode when she became a g.oddess again and was unceremoniously booted with the ever so relevant Lily Rutledge-Ellison

### **66. Kelley Wentworth (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

Kelley's amazingness was COMPLETELY situational but that doesn't take away her credit of being an engaging character. pre-merge she had this lulz confessional about getting Terry out while he was just chilling in the ocean but she really was just a mildly likable CPbot until she IDOLED ANDREW SAVAGE and it was GLORIOUS. I mean... she actually stayed a CPbot after that! but she was aligned with the best alliance in modern-survivor The Witches' Coven, and was the only one of them with an edit good enough to realistically win so here I am rooting for her! on the last episode she finally became interesting- oh wait it was all situational again! yes, she used #KindKass' gift to try and fool the power alliance (her only ally being The Keith Nale) but that didn't help much as he was booted and so was she after an anticlimactic immunity challenge whoops. so yeah, I rooted HARD for her but she was never too much of an engaging character by herself. the situations were there though, so she manages to stay that high for providing us the aforementioned amazing moments <3 (but mostly for idoling Savage out)

### **65. Kwasi Douglas (Masterchef Canada 2)**

first earth angel to go, Kwasi was really fun because he was this massive guy who was also really soft-spoken and a vegetarian (he honestly gave me so many TDI DJ vibes). he spent all his episodes being an UTRP and c00t and making dishes of African heritage which were really interesting. then of course, we have his crowning moment of awesomeness.. or... kinda that, when the task is to cook with truffles (aka one of the noblest ingredients you can cook with) and he says in a confessional they "kinda look... \*pulls neck back\* like... little turds" before making a Top10 facial expression on RTV and that's enough to get him here <3

### **64. Murilo de Oliveira (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

Murilo was already a g.od in his audition, when he entered the kitchen and after stating he would cook a rabbit, took a small cage from below his counter and pulled A LIVE RABBIT... then he just kissed it, released it and revealed it was his pet bunny <3 <3 <3 along the season he was an adorable awkward MORP gay who excelled in tasks, making him team captain for episode two, where he accidentally called Chef Jacquin by his first name and cause a MASSIVE outburst from him. from then on until his boot, it was kind aevident Chef Jacquin hated him and he was always extremely harsh on him, but thank god (or should I say thank Iranete?) the other team's main dish got overcooked and he wasn't utterly destroyed right away <3 he was booted sooner than I hoped/expected, but he managed to win back Chef Jacquin's heart so that's all that matters <3

### **63. James Huling (Big Brother 17)**

okay what the fuck is James? as soon as the meet-the-cast videos were released everyone in the season seemed like a massive douchecanoe or a tryhard but there was a beam of sunlight in the form of an Asian redneck called James. and he didn't disappoint! throughout the season he was a strategically oblivious angel who crushed on Meg for looking like Taylor Swift; became a gay icon by being one of Audrey's closest friends; made a fake Audrey out of pillows, a hat and sunglasses; frequently wore an adorable kitty beanie, and was just an overall sweet cinnamon roll who I want to hug for an extended period of time <3 also his friends outside BB seem to all be twentysomething white girls and that's hilarious for some reason (and perfectly explains his closest ally being Meg)

### **62. Max (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

<3 MAX MALANAPHY <3 first of all, I was immediately in love with Max because of her white/grey ~a e s t h e t i c s~ and grandma couture, but of course I was expecting Michelle Visage to bitch about that sooner or later. anywho, Max stayed strong for some time when suddenly the arc of "Max is a prude" showed up out of nowhere and it was hilarious! I mean, the thought of a drag queen being a prude is hilarious in itself but the situations where she would look at certain scenes uncomfortably and the way she reacted to some suggestions that seemed too risque to her was lol. then she had some mental breakdown and started singing like maniac before being booted but apparently that was all editing trying to make good tv and it actually ruined her career </3

### **61. Ori Perl (King of the Nerds 3)**

speaking of awkward adorable critters here is another one <3 at first I did hate Ori for his sexism, but when I realized he was just an utterly pathetic guy who always looked excited for everything and had all his jokes fail I fell in love. there was also the "joke" about seeing Todd in a bra, which he repeated like, two times with increasingly bad delivery while everyone just stared at him blankly <3 then after the joke about no one listening to Heather because she was a woman she started to scalp him 24 times an episode and it was GLORIOUS especially because he was always so beta and subservient to her <3 he was unfortunately slain by borewhore Colby who may have destroyed the whole franchise by having a legion of self-righteous pricks as fans and I MISS ORI ALREADY </////3

## The G.oddesses

### **60. Karen Dawson (King of the Nerds UK)**

Karen didn't fit in right off the bat for being older, and it didn't help she was a no-nonsense bossy neat-freak who tried to drive a team of buffoons around. so obviously resident brats Kenny & Kerry (especially Kenny, ew) spent the whole season bitching about how Karen only cared about winning winning winning, and how she was boring, how she was controlling, etc. until they lost a challenge and sent her home first, then celebrated after getting rid of the biggest asset on the team... good job? then she made her glorious return in the finale as one of the few Mark helpers, and decided to help him in the Game of Thrones family tree task, where she filled the blank belonging to Benjen Stark as... Daddy Stark. queen.

### **59. Keith Nale (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

if you know me you also know I'm far from a Keith Nale fan in SJDS and easily consider him the weakest link in that glorious F6, but Keith Nale 2.0 was such a pleasant surprise <3 in a season dominated by gamebotting we have an old guy who doesn't even seem to know how Survivor works, so obviously he is shafted majorly by the edit... and it somehow worked! Keith was this bizarre OTT1 presence (the Toto scene pretty much embodies this) from the beginning of the season to his breakout in the finale where Kimmi Kappenberg's fate lies in his hand and he actually CONSIDERS quitting for her (what a selfless angel <3) but ultimately does not do so and survives some more minutes in the game only to star in the return of KindKass's Kindness Necklace, being the person who was supposed to fool everybody by pretending it was an idol... unfortunately he was again too much of a selfless angel to use this strategy and got 5th place </3 but not without first participating in an AMAZING scene where Jeremy tries to call his attention for around an entire minute and he just stays there like a braindead weasel <3 also I love the fact Keith "Otis" (remember when this was a thing) Nale has one of the best average returnee placements lol

### **58. Claudia Sandoval (Masterchef 6)**

I always liked Claudia during the season, she was such a sweetheart and I enjoyed her life story, her fashion sense, and her glam obese latina single mom realness. I could swear she would go out around 6th place since her repertoire consisted of thousands of Mexican dishes I haven't heard of but look delicious, and this could get repetitive. then she somehow brought her spunk and ^\_^ disposition up to the Final 2 were she faced helldemon Derrick and seemed doomed as he chose some high-class contemporary cuisine style and she went with... Mexican. again. I just think that edit-wise, dish-wise, storyline-wise, critique-wise... EVERYTHING THAT IS LOGICAL IN THIS WORLD-wise Derrick would win but somehow they announce Claudia is the winner and I felt like I was dragged into some alternate dimension where the people Mana roots for wins shows. it was an experience

### **57. Izabel Alvares (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

YearOfTheObeseLatinaMasterchefWinner <3 well, aside from what has been already listed, Izabel is actually pretty different from Claudia in many ways. when the show started I found her kinda whiny and self-pitying, but as the season progressed her insecurity became more c00t than shrill but she was soon booted because her lasagna exploded. THEN in the returnee comp she made an amazing dish (that my mom actually replicated once and it was godly) and returned to the competition <3 from then on she was just your average sweetheart who got overly stresses-out about pointless shit and was extremely self-conscious of her dishes even though most of them turned out amazingly. of course, she also dubbed herself as Obese Phoenix when she returned and that can't be forgotten. oh, and another similarity to Claudia, she surprisingly won over an OTTP guy (that wasn't NEAR as insufferable as Derrick) who had everything to win <3

### **56. Ciera Eastin (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

just like, Keith, I was never a Ciera fan throughout Blood vs Water... actually I actively disliked her? not because she was a demon or anything but because she got so much screentime while being boring af, and was massively overrated by the edit because "she voted her mum!!!" and "rawks!!!!" and the fans bought that ugh. they treat her like some strategic deity but all she did was... not be strategic at all and flip one episode too late (so rawks happened). ANYWAY, my love for Ciera took a long time to grow, only in mid-Cambodia when merge hit and instead of #ChaosKass who majorly flopped we got #ChaosCiera constantly throwing shade at Savage and making him extremely pissed <3 then, in a sudden character-development-moment, she goes into a maniac JeffProbst mode and starts screaming BIG MOOOOVES every TC because the lack of moves on her part was what fucked her in BvW <3 now, only because Kelley had an idol they managed to take Savage out and Ciera proceeded to be THE PUPPET MASTER of Cambodia for a couple of episodes even though everybody vocally hated her <3 such an icon

### **55. Jelani & Jenny (The Amazing Race 26)**

one of the many blind-date teams that were obviously not into each other, Jelani & Jenny had completely different interests and personalities and actually barely had a dynamic except for Jelani occasionally screaming for Jenny to go faster, followed by her aggressively shrieking. when you completely ignore Jelani's existence we get <3 JENNY WU <3 the overcompetitive queen bee asian sensation who starred in moments such as the race against Matt & Ashley for a tuk-tuk ("THAT BITCH!!!"), their hilarious performance in the hot tub riddle task where they couldn't figure "ice skating rink" for their lives, Jenny's intensely shrieking "JELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII" in the final leg roadblock while he miserably failed to kick a ball, and of course, their whole Namibia performance that cannot be put into words... but I WILL mention their glorious walk to the pit stop, while the edit alternates between shots of Jenny going "oh hi Mr Camel what's your name? ^^" and shots of a zebra mauling Mike in different ways (including a crotch-kick)

### **54. Jonathan Adler (King of the Nerds 3)**

Jonathan doesn't really have ~~outstanding moments~~ but he had a pretty interesting storyline for modern RTV. Jonathan was some campstraight nerd who's the first one to form an actual solid alliance in KotN and I REALLY loved his Tsuyoshi-esque plot of playing uber-strategically only to have everyone despise him and constantly rant on confs about how he's slimy and sucks to the point I was sure he WOULDN'T win because his SPV (is that the correct term?) was SO negative, and he did have some genuine breakdowns about that dilemma, which would never see on Survivor today. Although the anti-Jonathan people's complaining got self-righteous at times, it was really nice to see strategy being treated differently than your everyday Survivor where it's just people competing to see who's more manipulative and cutthroat, especially since it resulted in Jonathan's character complexity <3 and in the end he won despite the legion of rabid Colby Burnett fans and stupid people saying "THE POINT OF BEING NERDS IS TO NOT MAKE CLIQUES" which effectively destroyed the whole franchise which is... interesting to say the least. also, he's now dating Heather from his season and that's both weird and amazing

### **53. Da'Vonne Rogers (Big Brother 17)**

while Day MAY be your quintessential sassy black woman stereotype, she was also SO RIGHTEOUS in every argument ever, she destroyed Clay right in the beginning, and even though I didn't even mind when she destroyed Audrey because she was right lol. speaking of Audrey, her unlikely friendship/alliance with Audrey which was destroyed in one week because Audrey is a maniac <3 really, Da'Vonne was just a very enjoyable/entertaining/righteous presence taken out too soon by that horrid post-Jace streak of early boots

### **52. Audrey Middleton (Big Brother 17)**

Audrey is such a bizarre character who is so different from anyone I've ever seen on Big Brother and that fascinates me, yet she was extremely frustrating at times so I can't really put her higher than this. pre-season we know she's some master tengager who speaks robotically and is a MASTERMIND, and just upon entering the house she makes an amazing alliance with Alpha Bitch Shelli and Da'Vonne which makes me cream like a tennessee twink on a sunday. of course that alliance lasts two seconds because Audrey is a fucking maniac who spread lies around the house just for the lulz, which resulted in pretty much everyone despising her and subsequently isolating her from any strategy-talk. then we have the whole blanket weirdness where she spends basically an entire day in the confessional, making everyone go paranoid, while production tried to convince her not to quit because she's a STAR. nevertheless, she was anticlimatically booted the same week. Audrey also is part of my favorite interaction on BBUS, ClAudrey <3 it was such a strange love-ate relationship between a robotic, constantly lying tengager and the OTTPPPPP sexy country boy which consisted of her repeatedly annoying him over the stupidest shit just for the lulz, such as leaning between a romantic convo between him and Shelli, or knocking up his box of cereal with her foo. oh, and of course her creating an extremely ambitious project upon being booted, which ended up being just a shitty org <3

### **51. Shay & Shani (HaMerotz LaMillion 4)**

to be honest, they were kinda my least favorites when the season started! actually, Shay was, because he always felt like one of those macho guys who don't like to have their masculinity contested, such as when he refused to scrub mud off a fat georgian man's back or when he acted very awkwardly during the mimic task not to make any ~campy~ movements, it was pitiful. but as the season progressed it seems like he lost all his shame and just became Shani's 6'5 UTR sidekick while she dragged him through the race and constantly annoyed him with her perpetual state of hysteria. Shani had other qualities besides her perpetual state of hysteria, such as the random moments when she became a benevolent angel by giving the money she earned in the ABBA Impersonation task to a hobo (then having to do the task again), or when she stopped racing to give her taxi cab to a confused blind passerby <3 of course, while she nonchalantly stopped racing to be an earth angel, Shay spiraled into madness in the background <3 overall, they were a great team who took me a while to warm up to, but they definitely got me in the end and became the latest addition to HaMerotz's amazing roster of winners (except S1 winners they suck, bye)

### **50. Tommy Walton (Masterchef 6)**

as the show started I was sure Tommy would be that stereotypical OTTN pompous old gay and he was kinda fulfilling my prediction, but later on her morphed into just a screeching incompetent mess hated by everyone (especially Stephen's comically OTT hatred for him), and suddenly he was an angel! and Gordon loved him <3 also that time Gordon inadvertently said he wishes he would wake up with him <3 he was just a likable version of the OTT old gae that didn't contribute much to a "plot" (but which non-season-4-masterchef has a plot? alol) but was fun, hatable for some, and really scrappy/rootable for others aka MOI

### **49. Sofia (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

remember when I said Vivi was dramatic? probably not. anyway, Sofia can compete with Vivi on that. while Vivi was more of a "drama queen" aka, people who make a fuss over small things, Sofia was a different brand of dramatic; she was the eccentric one. Sofia's dramati...city(?) comes more in the way she behaves by making weird face/hand gestures and changing her voice 47 times in a sentence. despite being kind of a mess of a person (some may call attentionhog-ish, but I found her hilarious), she actually pulled out some of the best (if not THE best) plates of the season and I'm appalled she didn't win. she was actually so close </3

### **48. Olivia Croupen (Masterchef 6)**

where to start with this angel <3 Olivia's masterchef journey started gloriously as on the first challenge, which consisted of baking an apple pie, she decides to do a blueberry goat cheese apple pie with no crust, prompting wtf looks from Gordon Ramsey as he repeatedly yelled "APPLE PIE" at her while she just blankly stared at him and said "yup". with that, Oliviangel ended up in the bottom 3 in episode 1 with her blueberry goat cheese apple pie but by a miracle she survived even though it was a double elimination <3 fast forward some weeks and OLIVIA WINS A MYSTERY BOX CHALLENGE, which means she wll be the leader of a team. In the episode commemorating 100 episodes of Masterchef. so of course Episode1 Olivia incarnates and she just stands there like ".-." while her team burns an entire batch of potatoes. correct me if I'm wrong (as if someone here watched this shit) but I'm pretty sure her team won in the end <3 after more weeks of Olivia being an actual contender, in the Final 8 she finally gets defeated by a massive cow head in a horrifying episode and leaves the competition </3

### **47. Bergen & Kurt (The Amazing Race 26)**

after a bunch of debating between me and myself, I have finally set a good place for this anomalous blot in the canvas that is TAR. yes, they did get uncomfy at times but they are such a weird team I can't help but appreciate their glorious 5-episode-arc. okay first of all, the person who cast these two to be the Token Gay blind dating couple clearly doesn't understand how gay sex works. like, seriously, just by watching the introduction video for them as singles both of them make it clear they want a "hunky tall muscular masculine guy" (vomitemoji), I just find it hilarious that while the girls cheer om their hunks (and Jelani alol) running in their direction, Bergen just gets a clone of himself and you can see a piece of his soul dying right there. after spending the first couple of legs being miserable grumps and constantly snapping at each other in situations such as a) feeding noodles to each other using chopsticks; b) receiving a fortune in a temple that basically said "yup this will not work"; c) and possibly the best of all, Bergen having a fucking meltdown in a pit-stop during the proposal of Matt & Ashley where he just breaks down and starts crying that he will never find love and instead got stuck with that piece of shit (note: not his actual words) while Kurt just stands there by the side. of course after this disaster of a leg, THEY SOMEHOW WIN THE NEXT ONE and it's a very happy episode for them <3 then next episode they just implode in the most uncomfortable way possible and are eliminated :( though they did take me in an emotion journey that made me question the meaning of love ;-; (not rlly) so here they are! also, I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE PROPOSAL ANNOUNCEMENT AFTER THEY WERE BOOTED I BELIEVED THAT FOR A SEC <3

### **46. Stephen Fishbach (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

confession time: I don't really get TocantinsStephen, he was just a boring JTenabler and in a cast with stars such as Sierra, Erinn and Taj, as well as negative but still interesting characters like Tyson and Coach, he was just such a footnote for me. HOWEVER, along with people like Keith, Woo and Ciera, Cambodia actually made me like him a lot more <3 being the CPbot he was in Tocantins I was obviously expecting the same, instead we are presented to a bumbling buffoon fucking up camp labor in every way possible, then spending the whole season unhealthily obsessed with taking out The Golden Boy Joe due to the sheer trauma from Tocantins <3 of course that involves tons of confessionals that start like your usual CPbot crap and ends up in an fit of conflicting emotions or diarrhea or something. combine that with scenes such as his declamation of a poem to a crowd of cold, miserable wenches who looked like they were being slowly skinned during it, or the eternal SevereGastrointestinalDistressGate, and of course, his downfall by using the steal-your-vote advantage in a dumbass way, and we get this supposed CPbot who is actually just an emotional mess how can you not love that <3 it did, however, infuriate me the way he constantly talked about ~voting blocs~ but that may be more the editors/Jeff's fault for actually taking it seriously even though by the end it was pretty much confirmed it was all horseshit lol

### **45. Pearl (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

I can understand how people can get infuriated by Pearl, but for that the person must do something I would never actually do: take the competition seriously. I think it was glaring that Pearl was really bad at everything, and definitely performed worse than Trixie on the latter's boot but GOD DID I LOVE IT, especially the tears from thirsty fans of Trixie and her fugly ~alternative~ make-up <3 anywhoooooo, Pearl bumblefucked all the way to the F3, seemed uninterested in everything she ever did by talking in that monotone deep voice of hers and looking around with dead fish eyes, and even said some pretty blunt shit like "oh I don't wanna do this/I'm tired" right to Ru's face (which of course resulted in lots of scolding) <3 overall Pearl was hilariously incompetent in everything (but had some stunning looks <3), did everything ever in extreme apathy, invented a very useful word (fla-sé-da <3) and somehow made it all the way to the F3 pissing off tons of people who cry "RIGGED" but alol @someone assuming RTV is fair

### **44. Emily Jones (King of the Nerds UK)**

lol who even thought it would be Abi cut here? anyway, I don't even know most people's opinion on Emily (actually I don't even know anyone who watched this shit) but my first impression of her was "fuck, she's really, really, really, really hot" and... I was right on that. I expected her to be just some UTR eye candy mactress but she just changed my mind on the second team challenge where the supervillain alter-ego she created for herself was "Miss Andry" <3 aside from that, she was a really rootable/relatable character and just spent the whole season bitching about everything in a deadpan way in the confessional while the cast around her acted like the crazies they were. also there was the whole relationship with Curtis which was lulzy (more on that on Curtis' write-up!) but actually kinda sad considering he was legit in love with her and she somehow ends up dating that decrepit rat creature post-show (yes, I mean A Dying Clown) but hey, who am I to judge people's taste in men, I find T-ii Hoskins attractive

### **43. Katrina Cozar (Masterchef 6)**

Katrina is someone I feel deserved more airtime, she was an endearing person with compelling personality and storyline involving her crippling insecurity, plus was such a sweetie <3 she made it far and had tons of inspiring moments (at least for me) without being those over-the-top forced inspiring moments \*glares at Dave & Connor\* and we could watch her growth on the show <3 too bad she was the last one standing during the endgame Mana'sFavesSlaughter :(

### **42. Christopher Siu (Masterchef Canada 2)**

Christopher isn't one of the most complex characters out there, especially for someone who made as far as he did BUT GOD HE'S THE MOST ADORABLE HUMAN BEING I WANT TO HUG HIM. FOREVER. I guess he was kinda relatable for his self-conscious, awkward demeanor, and he did have that little plot about being a dessert master while extremely insecure when it comes to savory stuff, then somehow whipping off amazing savory plates too but those are just details compared to HIS UTTER ADORABLENESS PLEASE LET ME PINCH YOUR CHEEKS YOU'RE A SUCH A SWEET CINNAMON ROLL TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD TOO PURE <3 <3 <3

### **41. Hetal Vasavada (Masterchef 6)**

considering the history of vegetarians on Masterchef (aka Bri and no one else I think) I was already with high expectations for Hetal, and while she isn't near Bri's level of greatness, Hetal was one of those characters you can't help but feel a ~bond~. she was always on top of my rankings for her OTT expressions and overall likability, and everything got even better in the beef wellington challenge where, while everybody tastes Gordon's plate complimenting at every bite, Hetal just stands there poking it with a fork and making disgusted faces <3 then she owns Christopher The Meat Specialist in the exact same challenge <3 the of course there was the head challenge, I felt so bad for her </3 thank god she didn't get the cow head, I think she would have died right there

### **40. Hytalo (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

I really, really, really wanted to put Hytalo higher in this but that's as high as I can put an episode 1 boot :( from the whole cast, he was BY FAR the one with the most star power and the fact he was booted Ep1 was heartbreaking. Hytalo is like the kid I would have after infecting his mind with my evil gay agenda <3 but other than being the sassiest kid I've seen, he also showed great taste in allies (only tons of girls <3), showed more passion than anyone in that shit, and talked in this very, very frantic way while insulting inanimate objects in his kitchen <3 can't forget the crowning moment where he just started singing Rehab by Amy Winehouse while cooking; so young and already has such a great taste in music (':

### **39. Tanner & Josh (The Amazing Race 27)**

top 2 post-UB m/m team, y/y? as soon as the season started, Tanner & Josh won the first leg solidifying their place as that one season ruining dominating alpha douche team... right? NOPE, they were fucking idiots <3 right after their leg 1 win and Justin & Diana's Leg 2 win, it was clear this season would be one of those seasons where two extremely competent and offensive/boring teams dominate completely (hello TAR9/TAR20) and have an annoying rivalry that take all the screentime, but then Zimbabwe happened and the whole Express Snafu (don't tell me you didn't find their mental breakdown scene a masterpiece) probably made them lose all brain cells they had (but as people who say "Jesus" and "bro" in the same sentence, they probably didn't have many from the start) and they started bumblefucking to the point of barely losing to the queens of bumblefucking Tiffany & Krista in a footrace <3 luckily they were saved by a NEL, but because Kelsey & Joey are slaves to helldemon Justin of course they U-Turned the boys. also, their lowkey friendship with Denise & James Earl + giving them the Express Pass <3 their strange relationship with Tiffany & Krista + for some reason thinking following them is a good idea <3

### **38. Brian & Cynthia (The Amazing Race Canada 3)**

military/police teams have a tendency to be spawns of satan so I was really worried these two would be a force of relentless self-righteousness. thank god first episode changed my perception as Brian was hilariously self-serious and Cynthia was a sour hippopotamus who flopped, flopped, and flopped again in her first roadblock <3 throughout the rest of the competition they maintained their comically serious demeanor, with Brian saying the stupidest things with a completely blank face and Cynthia having a dour, apathetic approach to basically everything they encountered <3 they weren't boring either and could really bring the heat on fights without being uncomfortable <3 also who can forget the Crime Scene Investigation challenge where they celebrated being cops, hid that from other people all race because of their ~skills~ then miserably failed at it (such an amazing throwback to Natalie & Meaghan on ice <3)

### **37. Carla Correia (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

speaking of comically serious people, we have the tragically underrated Carla <3 she started really UTR and had this ~mysterious stoic behavioral therapist~ vibe to her, so it was kinda hilarious the first time she cracked by insisting to Jacquin there wasn't ketchup in her dish when there obviously was, only for Jacquin to make a fool of her, then reveal he actually loves ketchup <3 aside from being the beginning of the jacquinlovesketchupJADEBOO storyline, it was also the beginning of Carla Is a Liar storyline where she would lie about her dishes to Jacquin with the stratightest face only to be unmasked in front of everyone <3 the trait of OTTNCarla conflicted with the image of ~the mom~ she had to everyone, considering most of the time she was an ice queen. speaking of being an ice queen, how can I forget those zooms on her face where it's reveled she's muttering copious amounts of swear words under her breath <3 overall, Carla is a very multifaceted character and sometimes I feel like the edit was kinda disgruntled and didn't make her shine... but other times I think the disgruntled edit reflects on the true mess she actually is <3

### **36. Valentina (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

first of all, I refuse to talk about you-know-what and I hate that it's become her defining character trait. instead I want to talk about how I felt so bad for her during the whole competition because she did every dish so well and always some shit happened in the last minute, her dish became a disaster and she started sobbing uncontrollably only to somehow (kinda) save the dish in the end and not be booted. Valentina was also one of those people who has tons of talent but can't recognize it, so it was always so sweet to see the chefs help her get out of her shell and admit she's good <3 but she was not only ~inspiring~ she also has the lulzy ambiguous "showmance" with Eduardo, the megadouche, which is heavily implied throughout the whole season, only for her to admit to hating him in their boot episode (yes, they were booted in the same episode. it must be fate)

### **35. Curtis Reubens (King of the Nerds UK)**

I have a feeling Curtis is the kind of character that would gather EXTREME hatred and accusations of being fake/self-righteous/annoying, but I honestly couldn't see his bizarre/awkward/adorable personality as an act. Curtis was the kind of guy who would be uber excited about anything around him, then express this in the most frantic way while spitting everywhere due to his lisp <3 also, his being completely in love with Emily is actually just really cute and innocent (as far as what was shown) and not creepy/disgusting/smarmy like certain obsessive affairs \*coughcalebreynoldscough\*, and Emily actually didn't even seemed bothered because a) he didn't pester her or was creepy to her, instead only treated her as a friend (to which she retributed) and b) he actually never complained about her not seeing him as a potential coitus partner, instead just fawned over her in confs <3 also, there was the fact he spiraled into insanity after Matt made the simplest Survivor-like move ever because he was EEEEEEEEVIL and everyone just stared at him like "k" and voted for him to win anyway alol and to make things worse for the poor guy, Emily ended up dating the decrepit rat creature RIP sweet angel Curtis Reubens

### **34. Kimmi Kappenberg (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

okay, this is a really weird one. if I were going to consider Kimmi's entirety, she'd be like, Top3, but since this is just CambodiaKimmi this is as far as I can take her. Kimmi Kappenberg's return was extremely unexpected for me because not only was she a pre-merger, but she was a pre-mergers from the SECOND SEASON and wasn't even that liked at the time as far as I know? she was just a trainwreck, pretty OTTN, and quarreled for a chicken's life. anyway, she returned to Cambodia, surprising me and then... was extremely UTR. that is, until she went full-berserk mode on her fellow UTR woman Monica because she wanted to eat clams <3 (such a shameless act of SPECIESIM, chicken = clams u bich) anyway, after flipping the fuck out on her and serving us glorious confessionals about how Monica thought they would end with the entire source of clams in the ocean she went UTR again, yay? only for, in the second-to-last episode emerge as a CPqueen and suggest an all-female alliance (you know, like the one she refused in the beginning <3) this obviously went nowhere tho because fuck cambodia's endgame. then in the LAST episode, she tried to flip and caused that clusterfuck of a tribal council where Jeff had to draw what was happening to the audience <3 of course, the TC ended in her tragic boot after KEITH NALEANGEL ALMOST QUIT FOR HER and there we have the transformation of TrainwreckKimmiWhoIsBootedForChicken to kimmstrategicgoddess and I think that's beautiful :') (more airtime 4 kimmi ~~WHEN~~ she returns pls #gays4kimmi)

### **33. Nic & Sabrina (The Amazing Race Canada 3)**

I think this image pretty much sums up the Nic & Sabrina experience, but I would't be entirely happy with a write-up this short. we are introduced to this very-much-in-love italian couple with them utterly failing the first task ever on the race which consists of taking a chain out of a bicycle, seriously, they were VERY far from the 11th placers; but that wa a luck task, doesn't mean they'll be that bad at everything, right? NOPE, they continue sucking at every single task the race puts them through (except memorizing a Spanish poem). an extremely simple product-placement task about tasting juice? yup, they stay there for ages loudly sipping and tasting their juice like it was mouthwash <3 soccer roadblock? nah, that's easy, Nic is a SOCCER PLAY-oops nope, he fails so hard he has to develop a whole new method to beat the task; one that doesn't involve actually kicking the ball (which btw, is his job) <3 also the beautiful scene where they spend tons of time debating over whether they will have to dive or not for a task, all this while other teams walk past them WEARING DIVING GEAR, only for Nic to accept Sabrina was right and say, "oh, it were the flippers, right?" icons. they were tragically booted to soon when they yet again utterly failed at a task </3

### **32. Tamires Peloso (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

ok, so BBB15 had this alliance which became known by the audience as "The Evil Stepsisters" or "The Three Witches" and while Angélica and Amanda were pretty N-toned and worthy of their title, I always found it weird how the meek UTRP Tamires was always lumped with them and was hated despite doing nothing <3 then thank god the first TamiresPlot showed up when, despite not even being one of the HotPeople, not one, but two guys started madly hitting on her but she had to constantly reject both because one was a creepy 40-year-old poet who lives with his mom and the other is SuperMuscleBuff but has a wrecked-ass face and the IQ of a boiled potato. not content with her constant suffering of being stalked, Tamires showed pretty obvious signs of an eating disorder as show by her compulsive eating and the fact she started gaining VERY noticeable wight so instead of helping her what does the show do? EDIT IT AS A JOKE GJ GJ GJ. if that was not enough, one of the guys (whose girlfriend had just been eliminated) kissed her while drunk so she was just so fed up with everything she righteously quit the game and WAS SHUNNED BY THE PRODUCERS AND REMOVED FROM THE INTRO FOR THAT. she was such a sweet angel who didn't deserve all the suffering she got there, I want to give her a big hug <3 oh but then when the SuperMuscleBuffDude with a wrecked-ass face won the game she conveniently started dating him so WHO'S SUFFERING NOW? <3

### **31. Amanda Djehdian (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

okay, so while Amanda doesn't have one of the most unique or compelling personalities, she has one of the best storylines in BBB history so I think she deserves the top of this section. right as the show started, Amanda stroke up a showmance with Fernando, The BiggestDouchebagBesidesJake, and I kinda started hating her then because they'd be the season's SHITCOUPLE. HOWEVER, as soon as Aline joined the game mid-Week-1, Fernando immediately dumped her and started shamelessly making out with Aline everywhere (including in front of her) without even telling her anything about breaking up. so Amanda got jealous and became a super CPN bitter cuntress hated by the audience <3 two weeks of that and we get to Week 3 where guess who's on the block? Amanda vs Aline. well, given the general public's reception, Amanda's eviction was pretty much guaranteed but she had one last resort: Amanda was BFFs with one of TheLesbians from BBB14, aka the player with the biggest fanbase of BB history and they made a GIGANTIC TWITTER RAID AGAINST ALINE which managed to evict her with like, a 3% difference completely blindsiding EVERYONE in the house (including The Three Witches who started jumping and screaming around madly) AND infuriating all the viewers whose majority rooted for the SHITCOUPLE. after saving the season from being dominated by the shitcouple, Amanda started having drawbacks and wanting to return to Fernando, but her fellow evil stepsisters prevented that from happening... until one was booted and the other went insane and quit. SO ARC 3 STARTS, Amanda goes back to Fernando around the F6 and they become an evil couple who dominates again and takes out all the faves (Adrilles/Mariza), until the F3 where Amanda beats Fernando in the public vote despite being labelled as a hoe by everyone <3 unfortunately the LesbianNation isn't enough to beat the dumbass redneck charm of CÉZAR and he beats the true winner of BBB15 Amanda, ruining what would be a perfect arc <////3

## Queens Of The Universe (The Waves Part And Engulf Them And The Water Is Warm)

### **30. Carolyn Rivera (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

just as WA started I knew the season's STAR would be Mama C Miss Carolyn, finding an idol in episode 1, getting a shitton of confessionals, having an obsessive rivalry against a contestant (and the best part is that I love both <3), serving deranged hag Kathy O'Brien tea, and organizing the #blindside of Charlotte SoYoung So Kim, and THEN... disappearing completely. yup, we get that blast of a premiere and then she just fades into the background for basically the whole season (it's worth mentioning hat the part of the season where she's INV is the worst; COINCIDENCE?) anyway, she wasn't COMPLETELY invisible, more like very UTR with random surges of compbeasthag or lulz moments such as 'YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME TAKE THAT VICTORY HOME YOU SON OF A BITCH' <3 of course, in the end she emerged again as a potential season savior, blindsided DAN FOLEY and did a ~fun~ happy dance on TC while he was slowly crashing down <3 she also blindsided that CPBore winner threat butterface <3 and how could I almost forget that she did a thing I had wanted to do since I started WA: making Rodney suffer intensely <3 every time she had the opportunity to reward Rodney she just smirked sadistically and "NOPE" prompting him to going down in flames while she enjoyed her shishkebabs or whatever <3 speaking of going down in flames, who can forget that EPIC fire-making challenge where she gives him the final blow after tempting his stomach and petty mind with birthday food for what seemed like years <3 unfortunately, after an FTC that indicated she would win, MIKE wins instead because he was the only one to actually stick up for Shirin (duh, he was the only one with nothing to lose AND had immunity every single episode after that) and although to each jury its method of judgement, YOU ALL SUCK. I hope Sierra Dawn Thomas The Mama C Miss Carolyn Avenger slays season 34 (and loses to Sandra in the FTC). speaking of Mama C that nickname is still amazing considering she was just a sour hag all the time <3 If she hadn't been dead for half a season she would for sure crack the Top 10 (maybe 5? who knows)

### **29. Lindsey Cascaddan (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

yup, WA is down to 1 person this fast. Lindsey is one of the best pre-mergers the show has ever produced and, believe it or not, I actually couldn't care less about her until her boot episode! yes, the first few episodes involved Lindsey being CPP bland and aligning with helldemon Rodney over tattoos of his dead sister. in episode 3, when Blue Collar was a massive clusterfuck I enjoyed Lindsey a bit (but I also enjoyed Rodney so does that even mean anything?) mostly because by that episode I wanted to rip Mike's vocal chords out holy shit can you stop complaining about work ethics and shove a burning log up your anus? anyway, Lindsey had some meltdown about god lighting up the fire with his BEARD which was cringe, but she also had an amazing confessional slanting Mike for being an ass and having a psalm tattooed on his back alol <3 and of course, we can't forget about her being an actual ~FEMINIST ICON~ in the saddest episode of the season (WillxShirin was more uncomfortable than sad, come on) which consisted of Rodney spewing actually revolting shit (and I don't mean a sexist comment or other, I mean DIRECT APOLOGY TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE) and being backed up by every one of those dumbfucks (except Sierra, showing her righteousness again <3) while she took the boot for speaking up against one of the worse contestants in the history of Survivor. thinking back, it makes sense why it's Jeff's favorite episode of the season; a minority was punished for speaking up against oppression ! :)

### **28. Daniel & Meiri (The Amazing Race Israel 4)**

what can I say about this team of business partners who I thought were actually a couple until Leg 2? <3 while a team of smart, physically fit, young men show up my first instinct is to dread them but how can I dread them while they flail their hands aimlessly, talk loudly, and share many homoereotic moments? <3 I spent a long time until their boot (which was an amazing #ShockBoot btw) thinking they would be the winners and it's weird to think I was sad by the elimination of a team like this, but I really missed them being impulsive messes and being involved in amazing moments such as when they opened a cab door directly into a random passerby's face, which got them in a huge argument with an angry londoner <3 also Daniel ended up dating fellow racer Yochi (or Linor? I don't even know anymore) after the race and how dare you, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GAY 4 EACH OTHER. but yeah, overall vibe of masterminds wannabes who end up being awkward, fun, and failing miserably (John Carroll comes to mind) what's not to love? <3

### **27. Veronica Cilli (Masterchef 6)**

whan can I say about THE OLDEST MASTERCHEF CONTESTANT (before S7 whoops) cockroaching her way to somewhat far for the incompetent mess she was, while acting like your-average-grandma despite having pink streaks in her hair <3 the first episode she was all ashamed while bringing her "Nana's Apple Pie" only for Gordon to praise it <3 I LOVE SEEING HAPPY OLD PEOPLE, OKAY? despite cooking good food and being just freaking adorable, Veronica had a major flaw, which was her godawful plating; she lacked finesse. so during the "reinvent TV dinner" challenge she served a horrendous plate consisting of GIGANTIC square bowl-like recipients filled with... regular TV dinner food. not only did it look like Tv dinner, it just... was TV dinner. needless to say, bye Veronica hag extraordinaire, we love you and your sweet awkwardness!

### **26. Shirin Oskooi (Survivor: Worlds Apart)**

Shirin's ~arc~ is a very weird one, but I guess it fits her. she starts of as a clear Eliza-like character: eccentric, with a grating personality, and somehow manages to join the majority alliance despite everyone hating her. some of Shirin's moments include randomly walking around naked (not to pay tribute to Rich like pedantic Max >\_>), chanting the survivor theme song to her tribemate's suffering ears, and vividly describing a scene of howling monkey sex (funny how the word coitus would fit this context more naturally, huh?) while disturbingly excited <3 after the tribe swap, Shirin experienced being an ~~outcast~~ for the first time after displaying her INGENIOUS strategy of alienating herself from everyone in the tribe except an annoying as fuck superfan everyone hates (for the first time), but luckily this time she survives over him, which bring us to her sudden promotion to CPP QUEEN as she narrates her tragic past of suffering rampant racism and sexism due to her work field and being a Persian woman and whatnot, PLUS her horrible past with domestic violence; all this while showing some actual ~~strategic prowess~~ until... the auction happened: there we have Phase 3 of Shirin Oskooi. after Will finishes profusely vomiting stupidity at her (YOU HAVE NO SOUL. YOU WILL GO HOME TO NO ONE. NOBODY LIKES YOU. yup, perfectly fine no probs) and her whole reason to exist becomes to be a walking martyr and some fans have THE NERVE to say she was playing the victim????? are you serious? oh, then we got that bone-chilling (maybe due to the awkwardness?) scene of the HAND-RAISING before she is unceremoniously booted sometime later with no real closure to everything. next time she shows up is to deliver that amazing jury speech, which could only be better if SHE ACTUALLY VOTED FOR THE BEST PLAYER but yeah it's understandable why she didn't (BUT DON'T PLAY WITH MAH FEELINGS GURL)

### **25. Ivana (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

in the first episode Ivana was already a lulzy angel by using her adorable way to stay calm (some weird breathing technique) and having conversations in three languages simultaneously with Paola despite being like, 9 years old <3 another thing I love in Ivana is that that everyone this season was extremely friendly with each other, crying when other people went home, sharing ingredients while cooking, helping each other when in trouble, so it was hilarious when this teeny tiny creature won immunity and an advantage to chose what each opponent would cook with, and upon being asked about her criteria she just smiles adorably and says "I gave the harder stuff to the people I want to see ELIMINATED c:" and everyone loses their shit in the confessional <3 also, Masterchef Junior had some pretty uneven age balance in its ending as we were stuck with a bunch of tweens because all kids had been booted... except Ivana <3 unfortunately she was eliminated right before the finale and couldn't slay those tweens with her DevilChild realness </3

### **24. Yafa & Boaz (The Amazing Race Israel 4)**

In season 4 we have HaMerotz first (and so far only) experience with one of my favorite kinds of teams ever, Mother & Son <3 and they didn't disappoint as in the first leg we were presented to extremely shy and awkward (and pretty damn decent ngl) son and his LOUD military mom who enjoys pestering her son, playing the flute and singing obnoxiously loud; and guess what? THEY WIN THE FIRST LEG, SUCH DEITIES <3 they stayed pretty competent and consistently entertaining with her loud singing and other ways to make her son embarrassed around the world (or around Georgia if you prefer). unfortunately, Leg3 came and Boaz decided to cough like, twice, which prompted his mom to get extremely desperate and worried, then take him to a hospital to what seemed like the second medical evacuation of the season, but the doctor said he had absolutely nothing <3 ... twelve hours after the leg had ended (':

### **23. Cássia Campos (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

this creature <3 let's start with the fact it took a lot of effort for her to be able to enter Masterchef so I was already pretty invested in rooting for her since the audition phase. then enter the actual show and she's a mess right at episode one <3 and says her dream is to pinch Chef Jacquin's cheeks <3 and actually pinches his cheeks and says he's SO HOT (he's an obese, balding Frenchman just in case you're wondering) <3 then we have the mandatory RETURNEE CHALLENGE, where Cássia immediately butchers her chance of returning by acting like she was high the whole challenge <3 that episode had many iconic scenes but one of the most hilarious was when Paola was talking to Gustavo while Cássia looked completely flustered on the background, so she just started pouring champagne on a raw steak; at this moment, Paola just stops talking to Gustavo and goes "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING" to Cássia, to which she just responds "i dunno" <3 after managing to fuck up her dish in every way possible we have to say goodbye to this amazing braindead wombat. good thing she has a snapchat (where we can confirm she is, in fact, a braindead wombat)

### **22. Simi & Ope (The Amazing Race Canada 3)**

Simi & Ope are one of those teams that don't exactly have ~moments~ but you feel compelled to root for because they're just so likable and overcome so many odds. while they were always the kind of team to scrape by the bottom, it wasn't until the first face-off that we saw them go to their breaking point, with Ope's inability to operate like a human being while in the water. luckily that was a NEL and they could continue racing (and continue to bumblefuck) their way up to the F4, where it seemed like they actually had chances to win after some scenes of compelling father/daughter bonding and Ope showing his extrovert (aka OTT silly old man <3) side, combined with the fact they did started doing much better in the race by the end... of course, once they reached F4 they had their taxi stolen TWICE in the same leg by two different teams, which screwed them up royally and resulted in the saddest elimination of the season </3

### **21. Jennifer Innis (Masterchef Canada 2)**

Jennifer <3 she started the season as extremely ditzy, saying everything in singsong voice and being a mess in the kitchen, so I expected her to go really early, but instead she got an amazing plotline with military mom Line by inadvertently annoying the shit out of her at team challenges <3 seriously, that's one of the best feuds in Masterchef because it's just Jennifer being "^\_^" and Line agonizing in the background <3 while she wasn't being OTT, Jennifer was focused on proving herself a ~serious contestant~ and it was fun to see her try to overcome this image of cloudcuckoolander and actually show how tough she can be, which she did by winning her team a challenge and then having an amazing Ahran/Leslie-like reconciling time with her long-time enemy Line <3

### **20. Brittnee Blair (Big Brother Canada 3)**

Brittnee is also another one of those people who doesn't have ~star power~ but has gone through such a journey during her stay in the house that you can't help but love them <3 Britt was an immediate fan fave because everyone loves plus sized models, and she immediately bonded with Sara and became ~~the fembots~~ who were actually a pretty useless alliance considering they had two members and were in the minority basically the whole game whoops. during the beginning of the game, Brit's role was to be the pawn in every single block and have that generic "PAWNS DO GO HOME" confessionals every week despite never going home, but then BAM! she wins HoH and goes ~from pawn to queen~, a feat which Sarah milks for eternity so I kinda hate it by now alol. then giving us the first week in the BBCan3 house which wasn't utter hell, Britt sends Graig home and convinced me to keep watching this shit <3 another moment from her I love includes how she SLIT that bland bitch Willow's throat when she saw she was stealing her bae Sarah Hanlon from her and convinced the vapegoddess herself to eliminate Willow <3 after winning two crucial HoHs, Brittnee reached the F4 and was somehow the most likely to win, but Local Ashley Ruins Everything so we had to be content with her 4thPlaceGoddess status (at least she's among deities like Talla, Heather and Cassandra <3)

### **19. Godfrey Mangwiza (Big Brother Canada 3)**

okay, Godfrey is actually a very layered character and I sometimes want to put him higher but i dunno. anyway, Godfrey's ~journey~ was a strange thing, in the beginning he was pretty UTR, was vaguely aligned with the dudebros and only showed up once in a while to be the butt of jokes involving OTT stupidity. except he somehow was pretty much a ~mastermind~? like, think about it, the guy managed to make it all the way to the F3 despite pretty much never having an actual alliance, and was still well-liked by everyone and never regarded as a floater! as much as I was rooting for Sarah to win because she's me irl, I honestly feel like Godfrey played the best game BY FAR. other feats of The Godfather involve: his weird flirtmance with Brittnee which was occasionally brought up and never went anywhere; his fiery OTT confessionals where he said really intense stuff with a scary face then returned to normal causing awkward silences; his fine as hell booty; and the fact he's overall such a paradox, being both the knucklehead and the genius in the same character, a straight male and a Mana favorite <3 we luv you godfrey please return one day

### **18. Matheus (Masterchef Junior Brasil)**

okay, so I was scared Masterchef Junior would suck because since they're all kids, they'll probably have the same silly adorable personality and I'm so thankful I was wrong <3 however, the contestant who came on top of my rankings ended up being the culmination of every stereotypical child characteristic and I WANT TO PINCH HIS CHEEKS. while we had tons of prodigy children, preparing refined dishes, showing more technique than cooks from the adult version, speaking four languages, being a douchelord (you thought that was exclusive to adults?), being E.V.I.L. and giving cold-hearted queen confessionals, we also had Matheus who was just... a child. he was adorable, had no idea what he was doing most of the time, had pinchable cheeks, and many unaware, socially awkward moments that make you go "aaawwwwww" and surprisingly enough, not cringe intensely. just to list some examples, there was his octopus dish which looked like cafeteria food from a 90s cartoon (with tentacle out of plate and everything) which somehow ended up winning the challenge <3 and his glorious moment when Alex Atala (one of the biggest chefs in Brazil) arrives for a special challenge and all children are intesnsely fangirling while he just stands there with a blank face, cutting to a confessional where he says, "I have no idea who he is" <3 <3 <3 what an angel

### **17. Denise & James Earl (The Amazing Race 27)**

one of the many gems lost in the mess that was TAR27, Denise & James Earl are a team that seemed like they would get a huge emotional edit back on the old days of TAR both for having the gay son plot AND managing to make it as far as 5th place, but instead we got a a southern banshee and her awkward son bumblefucking their way to 5th place with not much plot content except some randomly placed "hes gay n its ok" confs... AND I LIVED FOR IT <3 despite Denise's hyper demeanor and peculiar exclamations ("YOU CAME OUT OF MY WOOOOOMB!" <3), she also had moments where it was clear she was not ~having it~, the most notable one being the greeting in Zambia where, while everyone at least tried to show respect while being spat on the face, she just stayed there with the stank face you see above <3 ... apparently Denise had a son too? eh, James Earl (JE for the intimate) was adorbs I'll give him that (not in THAT way >\_>) but not as prominent as his glamhag mom

### **16. Brent & Sean (The Amazing Race Canada 3)**

moving on to more notable gays, here's a team I really feared would be forced, pedantic jackasses in the beginning, but ended up being just a pair of buffoons <3 Brent & Sean were just two average joes with really annoying voices who somehow bumblefucked their way to the Top 3, leaving Sean's gastric acid all over Canada. because of course, being incompetent, loud camp gays wasn't enough OTT for them, Sean also needed to have some kind of issue that made him randomly puke all the time. it sounds gross, but it gave us some hilarious moments, such as: (1) vomiting profusely after the very first challenge because he ran too much to catch a ferry (and consequently making me believe they would be like, third boots at best) (2) alternating between vomiting profusely out of a tuk tuk window and complimenting the driver's city, wish Brent apologizing in the background. (3) that TRIUMPHAL run to the mat where they stumble all the way to the pit-stop, tripping over their bags, taking of their excess of clothes, and of course, vomiting profusely <3 and the best part is that this run was pretty fitting (NOT) for them to arrive in FIRST PLACE, and was followed by Sean wheezing while Jon tries to explain them their prizes <3

### **15. Sindy Nguyen (Big Brother Canada 3)**

Sindy is a contestant that sometimes doesn't even feel real; let's start with her name being Sindy (with an S) and her constantly referring to herself as "Sindy With an S" which seemed tryhardy at first but ended up quite hilarious. now back to the actual game, she entered the house with a conf saying she was allergic to exercising, then somehow went on to establish herself as a COMPTHREAT in Week2, causing her early demise </3 luckily (or not because we could have had Naeha come back and kill everyone) Sindy With An S won the returnee competition (COMPGODDESS <3) and triumphantly returned, making everyone paranoid af because she's a compgoddess. she then formed the best alliance of BBCan history with Sarah "Vapegoddess" Hanlon and Brittnee "From Pawn 2 Queen" Blair, as well as a showmance with Jordan. then on the next week she mercilessly backdoors him just for the lulz what a queen <3 she is tragically booted next week though, not before producing a hilarious pageant queen segment <3 also when Bobby eliminated her first on that live HoH challenge and she just goes "WTF BOBBY???" <3

### **14. Tom & Uriel (HaMerotz LaMillion 4)**

HaMerotz casting never disappoints, and here we get one of the prime examples. Uriel is a drag queen known as ARISA, and responsible for this masterpiece ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxbGdh0ekac ), while Tom is his somehow gayer best friend. out of all TokenGay teams it surprises me that it's the Israeli version that casts THE single campiest team in existence, and their entire journey of singing, shrieking, YAS-ing, dancing and calling each other Lili/Lilian from start to finish had me HOOKED <3 while of course they weren't the most multidimensional characters out there, they were one of the most naturally likable team I've ever seen (and I don't even speak their language!), they just ~exude~ charisma and positive energy, and they kept bringing it from start to finish. not to say they are completely unidimensional, they did have a really cute and touching moment when Uriel suffering of hypothermia in the Argentina boat challenge and Tom even suggested quitting for his partner's health but he refused and after hours of recovering they went there and completed it (and not even in a Half-Assed-Bopper-And-Mark-In-Bollywood way), then went on to somehow survive that leg and make it to the finals <3

### **13. Line Pelletier (Masterchef Canada 2)**

When the season started I expected Line to be that one mandatory unidimensional OTTN monster every English-Speaking Masterchef season has, with her smug remarks and bossy attitude, but I was so happy to be proved wrong <3 Episode 2 was undoubtedly Line's prime, from her making the team she led despise her, to her and Jennifer exchanging shade all the time, TO HER FIGHTING A FLY WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE it was all too good; then after losing and choosing to save herself as captain she got lots of shit from some sanctimonious assholes (mostly John) and that made her so nervous that before the challenge could start she just fainted on the balcony. luckily she didn't have to be pulled from the game and continued her journey of being a smug posh mom, but brought moments of ~development~ too with her Momliance with Tammy, her heated feud eventually turned into adorable friendship with Jennifer, and even her humbling down from her mistakes and becoming a more pleasant person (without losing hints of being a boss ass bitch <3) But what really surprised me was her somehow making F2 when I spent the whole season SURE the F2 would be David/Sabrina and she would get the Villain3rdPlacement, I actually had a glimpse of hope she would win the season... but who am I kidding, nothing could be more telegraphed than David's victory. at least that made the disappointment not as big!

### **12. Heather Wensler (King of the Nerds 3)**

when the show started, Heather was just another rando blonde in the midst, but everything changed as soon as Ori cracked his first sexist joke (which was so bad in itself it was barely offensive) and said no one listened to her because she's a woman and she retorted with an extremely dry and passive-aggressive rant about how women are marginalized in science because of people like him, making everyone go "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH". in that single interaction she already won my heart, but that was just the beginning. in the build-your-boat challenge where most boats were (unsurprisingly) utterly destroyed in immediate contact to water, she was paired in a sinking boat with none other than ORI and she just spent the whole challenge going full on blue-eyed skeleton banshee on him <3 that was kind of a running event throughout her relatively short stay in the season, too bad she had to be slayed by Fan Favorite Colby Burnett :( fun fact, even though she stated she's ~~MOSTLY~~ lesbian she ended up (apparently, according to extensive twitter stalking) dating my second favorite contestant of the season (who happens to be a very ambiguously gay guy) and they now apparently live together with 83629387 cats <3

### **11. Vanessa Rousso (Big Brother 17)**

aggro lesbian slaughter </3 anyway, Vanessa isn't someone who can be summed up by ~moments~ like tons of people here, instead we just appreciate her character as a whole from the moment she said she is used to hide her emotions as a poker player to her tragic elimination when she was THIS close to winning, sandwiching all her overly emotional paranoia-induced breakdowns she had basically every week <3 every time Vanessa was in a position of power her life in the BB house became a mess, she flipped 1372536 times, and ultimately just went with the safest option anyway (unfortunately, because her taste in allies was pretty terrible), but it was always fun to see her unintentionally making Austin's life HELL with her over-the-top indecision <3 especially the week where she confronted him for a ridiculous amount of time after she figured he as hiding something from her <3 I can even forgive her giving is almost a whole season of Austin because the moment she directly evicts him is the most satisfying scene in that season (unless you count the moment when she WINS in the true ending, only aired in Zanzibar) all in all, I love this volatile ball of uncertainty and will protect her <3

### **10. Logan & Chris (The Amazing Race 27)**

the paparazzi were pretty irrelevant early on, but once they stepped in africa and started committing mistake after mistake I could see them in all their trainwreck glory, and honestly, I hadn't seen a team this trainwrecky in a long time! after the roadblock snafu with the Chacs (you all know what I'm talking about) they experienced crippling indecision at the detour (they almost changed like, 3 times) where Logan's OTTN monster side and Chris' bumbling buffoon side started showing up <3 after that their whole journey consisted basically on Logan being a boss ass bitch and Chris being an useless member of society, which did have some borderline-uncomfy scenes... say, the one above where she literally yanked the envelope from his hands then threw it at him again and started a hissy fit. BUT most of the time they didn't seem to actually hate each other, I guess Chris is used to being a mere punching bag (speaking of that, my latest write-yups are giving off the impression I enjoy domestic abuse as entertainment jesus christ don't get it twisted). They also had an amazing streak of second-to-lasts, to the point where they were in utter disbelief when they won the Macau leg <3 but Logan & Chris' crowning moment was undoubtedly the finale. a finale that starts with their taxi being stolen doesn't seem like it will get any worse, but it was followed by a cacophonic screaming match in the middle of the streets, a hilarious dialogue where Logan compared Chris to Donald Trump, a disgraceful performance at the Obligatory Geography Challenge including the quote 'I don't remember what the flag of Africa looks like', and probably the best finish line scene ever where Logan gives a gigantic speech about how they still love each other and don't plan on ending it and Chris meekly says, "Well, maybe we should take a break tho" only to be silenced by Logan going "NOPE HE'S JUST KIDDING .\_." and everyone just stare awkwardly <3

### **9. Katya Zamolodchikova (RuPaul's Drag Race 7)**

the whole concept of Katya's character is something so hilariously ridiculous it seems like I created it: a retired bisexual russian math teacher turned prostitute, whose triumphal entrance involves an entirely red Soviet-Union-Inspired attire and greetings in Russian, greetings so authentic people actually thought she was russian <3 of course, it isn't only the concept of Katya that is amazing, Brian's sense of humor is very similar to mine, as we can see by the abundance of absurdist shit (his description of the snatch-game <3) and self-deprecating jokes. but my favorite performance of Katya's was, ironically, in her elimination episode where they were supposed to create a friend for Hello Kitty and she created the feline equivalent of Ingrid Petroyska known as Hello Katya, who was Hello Kitty's Communist BFF <3 other highlights of her in this episode include her having a mental breakdown from start to finish due to lack of ideas, and her really awwww conversation with Violet which, even though it was just there to feed Violet's winner edit, was still cute. so, to sum up:

### **8. Angélica Ramos (Big Brother Brasil 15)**

while Angélica never lasted too much, and may even seem outdated now that we've had Ana Paula, she was a LANDMARK in Big Brother Brasil herstory and I will explain why. since season 1 the Big Brother winners are decided by one of two factors (1) Being poor, which happened like, twice, in BBB4 and BBB6; (2) Being "A Good Person", which, 99% of the time meant "be a moderately attractive white man and repeat self-righteous clichés over and over". as the season started we were all graced with Fernando and Aline, the SHITCOUPLE, and Fernando was, without a doubt the winner. he had already put himself and Aline in that faux-martyr position of ~everyone in the house hates us~ when in reality they just didn't have time to interact with anyone else because they were too busy sucking each other's faces; and they even had their villainess in the ~jealous, ugly, rejected woman~ Amanda, so what more could they ask for? That's where Angelica comes in; being a very outspoken and confident woman, she wasn't afraid to go head-to-head with Fernando and speak exactly what I think about this kind of gameplay since motherfucking season 1 <3 of course, being a black woman she was instantly labeled as "confrontational", "arrogant", "unstable" and booted as soon as she went to the block with extreme rejection, but her ability to open her mouth to spew nothing more than the words that were stuck in my throat for 14 seasons was enough to solidify my undying love for this g.oddess. also, how can we forget her rant when Luan made a racist joke? preach angelicangel (ok, kinda redundant title now that I think of it but eh)

### **7. Iranete Santana (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

Iranete is actually a very unique character, and while maybe you could argue lumping her in the SourHag archetype, there is ~more~ to her. as we are presented to her we can clearly see her social class and levels of education are lower than most of her fellow contestants, so we immediately expect her to be painted in a positive light and get an inspirational edit, but instead her first moment on the spotlight involves her RUINING her team's meal in the first team challenge by burning their main course, which prompts Team Captain Aritana to spiral into a fit extreme rage and disdain towards Iranete, to which the housekeeper responds only with her signature smug smile and a shrug <3 after some episodes of Aritana's UberHatred for her we expected that to be the feud of the season, but it was when Iranete won a Mystery Box challenge and, as advantage, selected Tucupi (google it) for Cristiano to cook with, the most ridiculous and uncomfortable feud was born. I mean, uncomfortable on Cristiano's side, who called her many censored insults we couldn't see, as well as unironically praying for her to go home, and later on saying she was LITERALLY SATAN; to which she responds with... a shrug and a smug smile <3 other moments that showcase Iranete's deity status include the time she made a ridiculously simple chocolate mousse in like, fifteen minutes for an elimination challenge and just sat on the floor during the other 45 minutes while the judges FUMED at the fact she didn't care at all, saying things like "she doesn't even deserve to be here" and "that is so disrespectful", and she somehow STILL SURVIVED that elimination because some guy made a dessert so solid it was inedible <3 and I can't close this write-up without mentioning the São João Day (google it) team challenge where both her and her nemesis Cristiano promised to dance forró (google it) together if the team they were in won, AND THEY DID <3 it was one of the most beautiful moments of Brazilian TV (;

### **6. Tiffany & Krista (The Amazing Race 27)**

ok, so Tiffany & Krista started as a fairly UTR team of incompetent bimbos and by the end they somehow became... a slightly more visible team of incompetent bimbos BUT ALSO my last hope of giving this season an enjoyable ending since there was no way Logan & Chris would win with that OTTN edit alol. so, in the first episode the cheerleaders were my favorites, they were stupid, had ridiculous reactions to stuff, were BULLIED by TeaMZ, and managed to hardly stay in after a hilarious performance on the detour <3 after that they became considerably less visible for quite some time and judging by their performance+edit I was convinced they would be eliminated in the first five legs but THANK GOD I WAS WRONG Zambia was a SuperLeg and they lived to see another day! it was only in France that the cheerleaders returned to stardom by randomly developing an alliance with Tanner & Josh who were (at the time) the TopDawgs, to somehow finishing a leg well because people were awful at rapping in French (s/o Passi), to MURDERING a detour in Holland and having their highest placement in SECOND because Justin & Diana suck, to having an INTENSE footrace to the finish with Tanner & Josh, which ended in a heartwarming NEL full of tears, jewish people, and violins. after that there were the adventures in India where Tiffany was SABOTAGED by locals in on the Roadblock, then both were repeatedly groped by disgusting men, and they still survived! <3 (unfortunately JEnise had to spare them). then there is, of course, the F4 where they were the ~protagonists~ of what is probably the single most nerve-racking TAR episode, which cannot be put into words. let's just say it did not have the ending I wanted. now excuse me while I go silently weep in a corner.

### **5. Abi-Maria Gomes (Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance)**

I did not believe Abi could get any better than her Philippines appearance but that's exactly what happened here <3 as soon as the season started I had no doubt she would not last the first few episodes, and the prophecy seemed to be fulfilling as she starts the premiere throwing a huge fit over a (fake) gold bracelet that missed, then having a pretty mediocre FTC performance where it was pretty much certain for anyone who didn't know spoilers that she was gone there but JEFF VARNER SAVED HER WITH A FLIP and thank god he did because she only got better from then on. I mean, she made me appreciate a scene involving Terry fucking Deitz on a positive light, that should be enough of a feat to place her Top10 at least. anyway, after Vytas' boot Abi became The Queen of Ta Keo, who dictated whoever went home based on the last purely personal and ridiculously obsessive feud she developed with some rando. first Shirin, who she overheard talking smack behind her back, then on Angkor she went for Peih Gee (</3) for finding out she wanted to get her out (and obviously for leftovers of the bracelet fight lesbihonest), then the most hilarious one with Woo, who voted for her every single tribal council, and while mildly uncomfortable, I couldn't help but crack up when, while Woo gets up to cast his vote she shouts obnoxiously, "MAKE SURE NOT TO WRITE ABI THIS TIME!" <3 after slaying all my faves and somehow still being my absolute favorite of the season, Abi went on an UTR streak at the merge but still provided some lol moments such as the fantastic shade at Andrew when he was booted ("At least you made it o the jury c:" <3), to insisting on calling Stephen "Poopy Pants" after the sever gastrointestinal distress incident even though everyone around was clearly not having it, to gracing us with that etheral creature of light Vera Gomes on the family visit, to having her OTTN side shine through again by SCALPING Joe on his boot TC, to SOMEHOW BEING CONSIDERED A THREAT TO WIN and be tragically voted out right before the finale once again. to sum up : if you fuck with me you're dead. what a journey!

**bonus**: yesterday I added her on snapchat and her story featured throwing more shade at Andrew and saying Marisa Monte is her favorite singer evurrrrrr so don't be surprised if you wake up tomorrow and Abi is #4

### **4. Sarah Hanlon (Big Brother Canada 3)**

Sarah is didn't have an amazing gameplay (in fact, she only won cuz of riggage) or any solidifying moment of amazingness, but it was just her overall personality and the way she handled the game that made her really endearing, and above all, relatable to me. as one of the two(?) only people not to nominate any woman in the BBCan3's BBUK-like week, Sarah won my heart, but it was later on that I realized she was more than just your typical "let's make a female alliance" BB girl. for starters, she ACTUALLY made a female alliance, but that's not really the point here. after being a target for most of the early game, Sarah finally got some power when Brittnee won her first HoH, so of course that's when we got to see Sarah at her finest: making strategic moves then immediately regretting them and resorting to hyperventilating while aimlessly walking around a room: if that's not the most 'me' thing to ever do in Big Brother I don't know what is (but I guess it'd have something to do with Faustão). anyway, most of my liking for Sarah comes, as you can see for relatability, such as during her "fight" with Bruno where she just inarticulately screamed back while trying to simultaneously cower in fear (I think that was more a fear of confrontations than of Bruno himself) that's pretty much me in a fight <3 and I was so glad she didn't succumb to his wishes, giving her ~character development~ AND making him explode in rage then be rigged out of the game alol <3 speaking of that, how can we forget the time when she had to ~decide~ between keeping her make-out buddy Willow and keeping her fellow fembot Brittnee's trust, which would obviously be more interesting if Willow didn't have the personality of a cardboard cutout, but she made the right decision and booted Ms Cardboard Cutout, leaving her DISTRAUGHT (I felt bad for her at that moment ngl but it paid off and Britt is still better sry). now, for reasons I like Sarah that don't involve relatability is mostly the lol factor of her being an employee in a VAPING JOINT, be a completely paranoid mess and second-guess all of her decisions right after making them and somehow (aka production meddling whoops) still win <3 it's strange because as much as my brain kept saying "Godfrey should win" while I watched the finale, I was actually elated when I saw this female canadian version of me (with probably a few less brain cells due to smoking copious amounts of weed) winning a season of big brother and she MIGHT be my favorite RTV winner ever???? we'll see...

### **3. Jiang Pu (Masterchef Brasil 2)**

Jiang is weird, she started out the audition process as an extremely fierce and focused competitor, already in the first episode of the actual competition her competitors feared her and admired her ~zen~ yet effective way of working in the kitchen but then... she actually goes to the bottom 2 TWICE in the first episode, and continues to constantly fumble in the first episodes of the competition, presenting sub-par dishes that almost got her eliminated. at that time I found her really endearing, especially with all the pronunciation mistakes that cracked me up (cebora <3), but her ~star power~ was obfuscated by Iranete. it was later on in the competition that Jiang stepped up her game, winning challenge after challenge including the food truck team challenge she won 'de lavagem' <3 (don't bother if you're tot brazilian but it's a HILARIOUS mistake in an expression equivalent to 'won by a landslide') and she also became more of an extrovert, her confessionals became more frequent and we were all exposed to her quirks. it is hard to put them into words because it's more of a mannerism/expression thing, you have to see and listen to get the ~complete experience~, but some of them I can put in paper without making them feel distant are a) the time where she had to start cooking after other people had already done so, and instead of worrying about what to do with her plate like other people did before her, she just started practicing Tai Chi in the middle of the kitchen, then teaching the cooks in the balcony in the most hilarious/adorable way possible "you pick a veeeery big watermeeeeeeeelon/\*opens arms widely\*/then you cuuuuuuut the watermelon in half" <3 also the other time where she was extremely disgusted because she had to cook a monkfish, so she told us this unnecessarily long story about how she was scared of dead fish as a child because their eyes still moved, and she was afraid the monkfish's eyes would move <3 after regaining her chellengethreat status AND getting that absolute fan favorite status, Jiang was tragically booted in 3rd place breaking the hearts of every Brazilian. bonus points for her hilarious Snapchat shenanigans, and for the fact she had a ridiculously adorable baby daughter post-show, who she frequently calls "Watermelon" on social media <3

### **2. Hayley & Blair (The Amazing Race 26)**

while none of the blind dates actually turned into a romance as predicted by EVERYONE, most of them hit off well, if not a little awkwardly. but Hayley & Blair didn't start a little awkwardly, it was a hilariously awkward car ride where Hayley is all perky and happy trying to hit it off with Blair while he just stares at nothingness and answers in monosyllabics. the first few episodes consisted of Blair questioning everything Hayley did and this resulting in them doing the wrong thing and getting screwed, until we got to the ~iconic~ moment where Hayley just throws a massive fit and utters the ~iconic~ words "YOU HAVE PISSED ME OFF TO THE POINT OF NO RETURN" <3 since this their dynamic consisted of fumbling, followed by Hayley loudly screeching at Blair until he obeys her so they reach success <3 there are really too many moments for me to list here, the beer detour in Germany comes to mind. then of course we have the bicycle incident where they walk around ins circles for ages following Blair's directions even though Hayley's been telling him to turn a specific street since always, so when they turn they arrive at their goal and she has a massive breakdown <3 complete with the gif that Voltage uses as a signature on Sucks, which pretty much encapsulates their dynamic. other notable moments include Hayley falling in love with the pilot from Namibia, their many c00t moments near the ending of the race where they worked really well and were adorable together making me actually wish they became a couple (basically everything they did in South America), and of course the irony of them losing because FOR ONCE Blair was right and Hayley didn't listen which dropped them from 1st to 3rd in the final leg. was it an incredible way to end their arc? yes. did I wish they had won (and while we're at it, start dating) instead? definitely

### **1. Vova & Alla (HaMerotz LaMillion 4)**

I... actually feel kinda bad for having my #1 be someone none of you know anything about but when I think about it I feel worse for y'all because you've never been through THE VOVA & ALLA EXPERIENCE <3 when their cast pic was released (as well as their status as exes) I was expecting them to be this very cringey badass-wannabe team of punks but instead they were introduced to as as cute 1990s Post-soviet aliyah who work together at a supermarket and dated each other at one point. first of all I must confess that people who once had romantic feelings for each other at one point and somehow remain friends warms my heart in a special way, but that's more of a personal thing. the other reason why they were really adorable to me in the beginning is that fact that Alla barely talked in confessionals because she was ashamed of her thick Russian accent (btw, Russian accents <3), so Vova was the more prominent of the two. after countless meltdowns on Alla's part, the best one of course being during the ridiculously unbalanced Pipi Longstocking detour where they are hindered by a flock of seagulls and she starts crying and violently throws a frying pan on the ground <3 but I'm far from being a person who values breakdowns more than fun moments, and they had tons of those <3 they (mostly Vova in the beginning) were just so lightehearted and ^\_^ all the way through the race (Vova flirting with every woman in ridiculous ways and miserably failing <3 him returning to the Watermelon challenge to steal a watermelon for himself AND ONE FOR THEIR TAXI DRIVER <3), and what made this even better is that with the exception of Leg1, they received every single yield and U-Turn of the race (keep in mind HaMerotz has one in every leg AND it's based on fellow racers' votes so they also had to deal with the fact no one liked them) and despite being sub-par racers and having a meltdown or another, they kept their positive attitude and defeated the odds (and Raz & Alexa's cheating at Costa Rica >\_>) all the way to 4th place where a PATHETIC heights challenge got the best of Alla :( I can't forget the fact that the show's production was insensitive and gross to the point of using a picture of their refugee parents for a challenge which pretty much crushed them and I really wanted to give them a hug they're my precious russian babies :c

## Contestants Eliminated

**Survivor: Worlds Apart:**

247.Rodney

245.Will

231.Dan

209.Tyler

188.Joaquin

178.Sierra

174.Vince

171.Kelly

169.Max

163.Nina

159.Mike

121.So

111.Hali

98.Jenn

97.Joe

30.Carolyn

29.Lindsey

26.Shirin

**Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance:**

243.Spencer

233.Andrew

221.Tasha

194.Terry

182.Joe

162.Vytas

152.Jeremy

133.Shirin

132.Monica

120.Kelly

118.Peih-Gee

104.Jeff

92.Woo

72.Kass

66.Kelley

59.Keith

56.Ciera

46.Stephen

34.Kimmi

5.Abi

**The Amazing Race 26:**

204.Tyler & Laura

168.Jeff & Lyda

147.Harley & Jonathan

114.Mike & Rochelle

94.Libby & CJ

80.Aly & Steve

77.Matt & Ashley

71.Jeff & Jackie

55.Jelani & Jenny

47.Bergen & Kurt

2.Hayley & Blair

**The Amazing Race 27:**

238.Justin & Diana

151.Kelsey & Joey

145.Alex & Adam

128.Ernest & Jin

119.Kelly & Shevonne

105.Jazmine & Danielle

78.Cindy & Rick

39.Tanner & Josh

17.Denise & James Earl

10.Logan & Chris

6.Tiffany & Krista

**The Amazing Race Canada 3:**

225.Gino & Jesse

161.Dana & Amanda

160.Nick & Matt

142.Dujean & Leilani

100.Max & Elias

85.Susan & Sharnjit

83.Neil & Kristin

73.Hamilton & Michaelia

38.Brian & Cynthia

33.Nic & Sabrina

22.Simi & Ope

16.Brent & Sean

**HaMerotz LaMillion 4:**

228.Raz & Alexa

206.Gal & Liel

146.Irit & Sinai

115.Pnina & Chen

112.Roni & Yael

99.Yochi & Linor

96.Tiltil & Mizrahi

95.Shay & Adi

69.Tzuki & Huti

51.Shay & Shani

28.Daniel & Meiri

24.Yafa & Boaz

14.Tom & Uriel

1.Vova & Alla

**Big Brother 17:**

246.Austin

234.Liz

232.Jace

205.Steve

176.Clay

157.Meg

156.Shelli

138.Johnny Mac

137.Becky

130.Jeff

109.Jason

84.Julia

82.Jackie

63.James

53.Da'Vonne

52.Audrey

11.Vanessa

**Big Brother Canada 3:**

242.Bruno

239.Jordan

230.Bobby

229.Zach

227.Graig

222.Ashleigh

187.Willow

139.Kevin

136.Johnny

126.Pilar

90.Risha

89.Naeha

20.Brittnee

19.Godfrey

15.Sindy

4.Sarah

**Big Brother Brasil 15:**

240.Fernando

237.Marco

236.Douglas

235.Aline

220.Cézar

217.Rafael

215.Luan

179.Julia

117.Adrilles

102.Francieli

86.Mariza

79.Talita

32.Tamires

31.Amanda

8.Angélica

**RuPaul's Drag Race 7:**

214.Kandy

208.Trixie

207.Sasha

202.Kennedy

185.Fame

177.Kasha

167.Jaidynn

155.Ginger

127.Violet

125.Tempest

124.Jasmine

62.Max

45.Pearl

9.Katya

**Masterchef 6:**

241.Derrick

219.Jesse

218.Sara

216.Justin

193.Ailsa

192.Brianna

184.Nick

183.Kerry

175.Stephen

166.Dan

165.Mateo

164.Darah

141.Charlie

135.Amanda

108.Christopher

81.Shelly

58.Claudia

50.Tommy

48.Olivia

43.Katrina

41.Hetal

27.Veronica

**Masterchef Canada 2:**

224.John

213.Andrew

210.David

200.Kyle

196.Kristen

186.Kevin

149.Sabrina

148.Tammy

123.Michael

107.Debra

91.Debbie

75.Cody

65.Kwasi

42.Christopher

21.Jennifer

13.Line

**Masterchef Brasil 2:**

226.Fernando

203.Cristiano

199.Rodrigo

198.Marcos

170.Gustavo

150.Aritana

140.Raul

116.Hamilton

101.Larissa

76.Sabrina

70.Patrizia

68.Lucas

64.Murilo

57.Izabel

37.Carla

23.Cássia

7.Iranete

3.Jiang

**Masterchef Junior Brasil:**

197.Johnny

195.Piera

191.Gleyson

189.Luiza

181.Lorenzo

180.Mateus

158.Laura

143.Vivi

134.Augusto

122.Eduardo

113.Andrey

103.Tomás

88.Lívia

87.Daphne

74.Aisha

49.Sofia

40.Hytalo

36.Valentina

25.Ivana

18.Matheus

**King of The Nerds 3:**

244.Todd

223.Ben

212.Colby

173.Thomas

144.Lily

131.Jacob

110.Raychelle

106.Amanda

67.Kaitlin

61.Ori

54.Jonathan

12.Heather

**King of The Nerds UK:**

211.Hannah

201.Kenny

190.Robyn

172.Ryan

154.Matt

153.Mark

129.Kerry

93.Yasmeen

60.Karen

44.Emily

35.Curtis