Lost THX Tex Trailer: A Sony Pictures Animation Boxset

If you thought the other lost THX boxsets were bad enough, wait until you hear my story. I have always been a fan of the THX boxset series. In fact, I had a whole collection of them in my room that I liked to watch daily. But after my experience, I don't think I'll ever collect them again. It was a Monday and I was at my job, working the frontline at Hardee's. But as I was taking out the trash, I found, you guessed it, a lost THX boxset. This time, it was for Sony Animation and the characters on the cover included Boog, Elliot, Maverick, Chicken Joe, Flint Lockwood, Sam Sparks, Dracula, Mavis, Johnny, Papa Smurf, Smurfette, Miles Morales, Gene, and Red.

"Weird," I thought. "I'm pretty sure that THX didn't certify any of these movies."

After my shift, I went home from work to watch the trailer. Before that, I took out the following movies: Open Season, Surf's Up, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Hotel Transylvania, Smurfs: The Lost Village, Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse, The Emoji Movie, and Angry Birds. As with all of the other boxsets, I also took out the trailer DVD itself. After I inserted the DVD, like the other boxsets, the montage of all of the movies began before it went to the main menu. As usual, the options were "Play", "Scene Selection", "Settings", and "Bonus Features". I selected "Play", ready to see another lost THX trailer. A warning popped up, reading: "

Warning: The following trailer was made in promotion for The Forever Purge, even though that film is not THX- certified. This trailer contains graphic violence. Viewer discretion is advised."

"OK," I said. "Let's do this!"

The trailer opened with the forest from Open Season at night. Boog, Elliot, Giselle, Ian, Rosie, Maria, Buddy, McSquizzy, Serge, and Deni were gathered around. Boog began to speak.

"OK, guys," said Boog. "Tonight, we are going to try and get a Woo Hoo bar from the gas station. But be careful: I heard that there is a crazy robot out who is killing innocent people and other characters for disrespecting his company, which is a pretty silly reason to kill people. But as long as we get the Woo Hoo's and go, we'll be fine."

Just then, Tex popped out from behind a tree, holding a whole package of Woo Hoo bars.

"Hello, animals!" said Tex. "Look, here," said McSquizzy. "We heard about what you did, and we want nothing to do with you!"

"What were you thinking, killing those people?!" added Giselle.

"Don't you even think about killing us!" chimed in Elliot.

"If you do, we will feed you to Boog!" said Ian. "

Wait, Ian," said Boog. "I don't eat people. But I agree with them, Tex!"

"Is that right?" said Tex. "I heard you were looking for Woo Hoo bars tonight. So I figured I'd give you this whole pack."

Boog, Elliot, and the others grabbed the Woo Hoo bars and ate them all up. I was surprised to see Tex being nice for once.

"These taste different," said Elliot. "I LIKE THEM! What is this flavor?"

"I call it vinyl chloride and mercury, of course," said Tex, with a mischievous grin.

"Wait. What?!" screamed Boog. At that moment, the animals starting coughing up blood and dropped down, dying, as Tex laughed while flying away. But the trailer wasn't over yet.

It cuts to the town of Swallow Falls. Flint, Sam, Earl, and Brent were at a restaurant, waiting to be served.

"Isn't this great, guys?!" asked Flint. "This place just opened!"

"It's so exciting!" said Brent.

"Wait," said Sam, getting nervous. "What was the name of this restaurant again?"

"Sexy Texy's Steakhouse," said Earl, with a scared look on his face. "Oh no! I heard about Tex! He's been travelling the multiverse, killing innocent people and other characters!" At that moment, Tex arrives with a clipboard, ready to take the gang's orders.

"Hello, and welcome to Sexy Texy's Steakhouse!" said Tex. "What will it be?"

"We'll all have burgers," said Flint, nervously. "But please don't hurt us. We heard a lot about you."

"Don't worry, food inventor," said Tex. "I won't kill you, but the food here is to die for."

At that moment, Tex used a generator on his body to generate four hamburgers. The gang looked at the burgers with a sense of hunger, and were about to get ready to dig in. But at that moment, the burgers came to life and bit the gang in the throat, killing them instantly.

But the trailer still wasn't over.

It cut to Hotel Transylvania, where Dracula, Johnny, Mavis, and the gang of monsters were having a dance party for the 226th anniversary of the hotel. But at that moment, Tex is heard laughing. The gang turns off the music and looks around.

"Um... guys," said Johnny, getting nervous. "Do you get the feeling that we're being watched?"

At that moment, Tex jumped in front of the monsters and Johnny, scaring them instantly.

"Hello, monsters," said Tex. "I heard that you were having a lousy party."

"Our party isn't lousy!" said Dracula. "How about you join us?"

"OK," said Tex. "Hey, Mavis..."

"Do you want anything to eat or drink?" asked Mavis, interrupting Tex.

"No, I'm good," said Tex. "Anyways, what's this I hear about you wanting a pathetic monster kid with that little punk over there?"

"HEY!" said Johnny. "I'm not a punk! Mavis loves me for who I am!"

"GET OUT!" said Dracula. "NO ONE MAKES FUN OF MY FAMILY!"

"Sorry, Drac, but that isn't gonna happen," said Tex, pulling out a stake. "Time to be hunted by Texy The Vampire Hunter!"

Tex stabbed Dracula in the heart, causing him to scream. But it sounded like his voice actor, Adam Sandler, was actually in pain. After Dracula dropped down to his bloody demise, all of the monsters and Johnny ran around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to find an exit.

"Oh no, you don't!" yelled Tex, as he blocked the door with a mountain of dynamite. "As the old saying goes, it's not a party without fireworks!"

Tex lit up the dynamite and flew away. But before the dynamite goes off, the screen cut to black and a loud explosion could be heard, meaning that the dynamite had gone off.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to the town of Textopolis, where Gene, High-Five, and Jailbreak were going to work for the day.

"Today is going to be great!" said High-Five, excitedly.

"I know, right?" said Gene.

"Wait, guys," said Jailbreak, getting suspicious. "I heard that there was a psychotic robot around here somewhere. He's been killing people for some reason, So we must be very careful."

After the gang made their way into their texting boxes for the day, the phone screen went on and everyone was shocked to see that Tex was running the phone today.

"Hello, emojis," said Tex.

"What have you done with Alex?!" asked Gene.

"Oh, he didn't want to use his phone today, so I will be in charge of your little business," said Tex. "I found some apps on here that I don't really like. By which, I mean all of them!"

"You're not gonna delete us, are you?" asked High-Five.

"Wanna bet?" asked Tex.

Tex began to delete all of the apps on Alex's phone, one by one. He then went to the texting app and deleted that as well. Textopolis started to get deleted as everyone was screaming very realistically. Tex laughed as he saw all of the emojis get deleted.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to the town of Smurf Village. Papa Smurf, Smurfette, Brainy, and the others were preparing for some kind of festival. But at that moment, it cut to Tex, holding a can of bug spray, aiming at the Smurfs.

"All I gotta do is spray those weird blue dwarves," said Tex, grinning his big yellow grin.

At that moment, Clumsy Smurf could be heard screaming. But it didn't sound fake. It sounded like his voice actor, Jack McBrayer, was actually terrified.

"What's going on, Clumsy?!" asked Papa Smurf.

"It's Tex," said Clumsy, with a terrified expression on his face.

At that moment, all of the Smurfs saw Tex with his can of bug spray and gasped in shock.

"Hello, blue dwarves," said Tex. "There is no one here to save you."

The Smurfs started freaking out, as Tex pulled out a lighter to use with his bug spray.

"Don't worry," said Tex. "I'm just gonna have a quick blue BBQ."

"RUN!!!!!" yelled Papa Smurf.

The Smurfs ran around the village as Tex sprayed them with the fire bug spray. The Smurfs screamed in anguish as they were burnt to a crisp. As Tex flew away, the screen faded to black.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cuts to a bird cage, where Red, Chuck, and Bomb can be seen.

"Where are we?" asked Red.

"Is this the Pigs' dungeon?" asked Chuck.

"I doubt it," said Bomb. "It has to be something worse than that.

At that moment, Tex jumps in front of the bird cage, startling the trio.

"Hello, birdies," said Tex.

"Who are you?!" asked Red.

"The name's Tex. You three have disrespected my company! So I'm here for some fried chicken."

Tex took the three birds and threw them into a deep fryer. Red, Chuck, and Bomb screamed as they were being fried.

"HELP US! ANYONE! WE'RE FRYING!" screamed Red, as he was being fried.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of New York City in Into the Spiderverse. Miles Morales was swinging across the city, looking for bad guys to stop. When suddenly, Tex flew up in front of him.

"Hello, Spidey," said Tex. "Looking for evil to fight?"

"Yes!" said Miles. "I'll start with you! You're worse than Doc Ock! Prepare for a big knockout, robot!"

"That's not gonna happen," said Tex, as he changed into Spider-Tex. "Time to fight a spider with the T-Man!"

Miles and Tex fought and fought. Miles looked like he was about to beat him. Until Tex opened a portal to hell and cut Miles' web, causing him to fall as he screamed. I noticed that Gwen Stacy's death music from The Amazing Spider-Man Two was playing as he fell.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to the beach where Maverick and Chicken Joe were surfing and having a good time. But at that moment, Tex appeared, surfing on some sharks.

"Hello, surfer dudes," said Tex. "Time for you to be wiped out!"

"NO!" said Maverick and Chicken Joe. But it was too late: The sharks ate Maverick and Chicken Joe as they screamed.

But the trailer wasn't over yet.

It showed a shot of the THX logo, with all of the lettter that spelt Sony cracked on the floor. Then, the deep note starting playing. As usual, it was mixed with various screams. This time, those screams belonged to Gene, Boog, Elliot, High-Five, Miles, Maverick, Chicken Joe, Red, Bomb, Chuck, Dracula, and Mavis, among others. Then, as soon as the deep note stopped, Tex dropped down as usual.

"Hello, Sony Animation fans," began Tex. "I'm back at it again, killing all of your favorite Sony characters, because they disrespected my company! Remember the Rule of Sexy Texy: If you are scared of me or my company, I will come for a visit. Sweet dreams!"

As usual, the slogan, "The audience is listening" appeared on the screen as Tex flew away. As I'm sure you know, there is usually a jumpscare at the end of these THX trailers. But this time, all I got was "To be continued..", meaning that this won't be the last trailer that I see.

I was scared and shocked at what I saw on that DVD. I immediately smashed it into a million pieces and threw it in the dump behind the Hardee's I worked at. But not before taking a few screenshots of what I saw.

But what I didn't know is that the horror was just getting started. There would be more THX trailers that I would discover.

To be continued...