Katniss vs Hermione

***Katniss vs Hermione*** is the sixth installment of *Princess Rap Battles*. It features main protagonist of the *Hunger Games* franchise, Katniss Everdeen, battling protagonist of the *Harry Potter* franchise, Hermione Granger.

## Cast

### Rappers

* Whitney Avalon as Katniss Everdeen
* Molly C. Quinn as Hermione Granger

### Cameos

* Chase Fein as Harry Potter
* Evan Michaels as Ron Weasley
* John Robert Keena as Peeta Mellark
* Cole Gerdes as Gale Hawthorne
* Thomas Stiver as Dumbledore
* Taryn Southern as Effie Trinket
* ??? as The Sorting Hat

## Lyrics

*(Katniss' lyrics are in gold, Hermione's are in orange, and the Sorting Hat's line is in grey.)*

### Katniss Everdeen

I’m Katniss and I can’t miss, I’m the fastest, you can’t catch this,

Make a last wish – gonna need three cannons for this hat trick!

So sick of your schtick, all I do is win, ya nitpick,

That’s why I’m the hero and you’re just a sidekick!

Pathetic and predictable – I’m hot on your trail,

Coulda had a Viktor, but you chose ginger fail?

I bet with wands drawn, he’s still just a yawn,

With performances worse than Michael Gambon!

Got a Nimbus up your butt? Well, let’s probe deeper!

Never played quidditch but you know I’m a keeper!

You must be drunk on butterbeer, now grab a cloak and disappear,

Who wants to kick this witch’s ass? Hmm… I volunteer!

### Hermione Granger

Oh, there’ll be no trouble ‘cause on stage you struggle,

I’ll be charming and disarming while I waste this rubbish Muggle!

I’ll end this blasted skrewt, propaganda prostitute,

Who thinks she’s so cute with her Girl Scout salute!

Just a tribute, can’t decide which guy’s sweeter,

Share your bread with Gale, then stuff your mouth with Peeta!

How does it help the poor to start a civil war?

Your story’s a bore, why don’t you plagiarize more?

It’s been done before, ask Dumbledore! It’s Battle Royale set in 1984!

And furthermore, if you’re keeping score, that’s five more points for GRYFFINDOR!

### Katniss Everdeen

I’ll drill this dentists’ daughter here in her alma mater,

‘bout to slaughter this otter, even Potter knows I’m hotter!

I stomp career jocks, kick your British buttocks!

For this Riddle, second fiddle, you’re the Watson to his Sherlock!

Turn back the clocks, tick tock, tick tock!

Odds ever in my favor ‘cause you rap like an Avox!

Shock the mic like a wire, you’ll fry and die on a pyre,

‘Cause you’re gonna get burned by the girl on fire!

### Hermione Granger

On fire? Oh! Just like your dad!

Or the hospital you visited to film a quick ad!

I’ve got the cortex to ace my subjects!

I got that bad blood while you run with rejects,!

These coal miner rednecks need reality checks:

You’re just another pawn in the military complex!

A fashion figurehead for the underfed,

Brilliant, you survived! But Rue’s still dead!

### Katniss Everdeen

The difference between you and me is book knowledge and street smarts,

Step to the Mockingjay, you’ll end up with scar marks!

It’s like you’re hijacked, you’re mental, delirious!

We find it funny, but you’re dead Sirius!

I’m the pro with a bow and the flow to overthrow,

Mr. Snow and his whole freaking reality show!

Little miss perfect, though what’s truly twisted:

On your parents’ happiest day they forgot you existed!

### Hermione Granger

I bust bars like Haymitch, the smartest witch, I own this bitch!

Hey, how are you still hungry in that beefcake sandwich?!

Fraud wedding, fake baby, and your flames don’t exist!

So-called star-crossed lovers need a camera to kiss!

I sling unforgettable verses like unforgivable curses!

What’s worse is your universe isn’t immersive!

Your glory’s only temporary, your country is a mortuary,

Next on your itinerary: kill yourself, eat the berries!