Zoya's diaries

*This page discusses Zoya's diaries. It is also the most important of the Reasons Sainzo will murder Smuit*

Over the course of the Rhone campaign, Sainzo has written some diary entries from Zoya's point of view, utterly disregarding that she couldn't even read until Kenneth taught her. These diary entries are part exercises in getting down Zoya's character, but also offer some detail on what she thinks about her travelling companions and might even include foreshadowing and hints concerning her background.

To Sainzo's humiliation, it appears that most of these tidbits have disappeared. Sainzo usually makes a point of never losing anything Sainzo's ever written. They must be somewhere. THEY MUST. To add insult to injury, the only surviving entry was rescued by Smuit.

As it turns out, Smuit was holding the rest of the tidbits as well.

Sainzo intends to pick up writing these scraps again. Sainzo's playing with the idea of back-writing earlier entries but isn't really sure if that is even possible considering the fact Zoya's personality has already changed somewhat.

## The ones Smuit 'saved', with some edits

*Note: Sainzo has forgotten exactly when these entries were written. Since the first entry sort of foreshadows Zoya's encounter with the drunk that called her Parysatis, all this might have been written afterward.*

### First entry

*Concerning the party's first meeting.*

Early April. 7? Lost count long ago.

Been a long time since I kept a log. Hells, been a long time since I wrote. Days kinda flow together since that day. Why I write now? Seems the old and new are mixing together. Seems Zoya will have to wake up with a head hammering like a blunt axe on bone. The past has caught up, in spilling Rone of all places. Sands take it all.

Guess I'll start with how I got here. Had been staying at Rashid's tavern in Susa for a day. Or two. Fairly sure April had already started. Drank with a few guys - they tried to fool me but they were raiders, no doubt. Idiot new blood. They're probably dead or in jail by now. Their boss kept his mouth shut for ages. Thought he knew something, turns out he was mute. Scorching suns, I took far too many tankards before realising that. They knew nothing, and I woke up with a hammer-head.

Seems the night turned rought at some point. There was a doc with some odd bird mask helping a knocked-out bloke. ...I think I may've dropped someone? Begged the doc for a painkiller. Bastard wanted money. Fair enough, just not when I'm half dead. Fucked up finding my coinpurse, half fainted. Doc took pity. Huh. Spotted an older man at the bar. He looked like he knew the desert, to some extent. Interesting - sand-wanderers past thirty aren't that common. Figured maybe he's a good source, having been around this long. He's handsome too - rugged adventurer looks turned older without losing its edge. Sidled up and tried to flirt - headache plus drink-broken meant I could've been better but he responded anyway. Men. All the same. Well, he could have been playing. He was talking to another - fairly young, fairly attractive. Torn fancy cloak gave him a council-lost-in-desert kind of look.

I flirted, of course, and the response was interesting. I've had ignores, lewd eagerness, shy smiles and refusals both polite and not so polite, but never this. He seemed... scared, of all things, like a little desert mouse sighted by a bird of prey. Wanted to ask Rashid what happened the night but he was talking to the three. The doc had joined the two at the bar at some point. Didn't follow the conversation much. Probably flirted with the doc too - he did help me for nothing. They traded an errand for Rashid's mate - twin? - Rashid for a ride to Rone. Had no intention of joining them, but the handsome man asked me to. Maybe he - despite his terrible eyesight - spotted my baby restin' against my stool, figured they needed simple brawn. Still, I decided to join; Rone sounded like a good place to hide and search at the same time. No one there know me, but they might have heard of the Fairy. And, if I'm honest, these three interest me a bit. The older man - still not sure if he knows things - has connections. The young man's unique response has caught Zoya's eye, of course. Finally, the doc; - interesting already with the whole mask thing - being given meds by a stranger is not somethin' I'm used to. Oh yeah, the errand for Rashid's boy Rashid - fucked up a couple crabs. By Zoro, these other guys are useless in a scrap.

### Second entry

*Concerning the party, written during the first half of the journey to Rhone.*

Been on Rashid's skiff a couple days. Like seeing the sands pass by this quick. My new 'travel group' are a special lot. Handsome as he is, Sig keeps blabbing on about his daughter. I like the sparkle in his eyes as he talks of her - good father, if too lax - but it does make it harder to get anywhere. Kind of strange since she's older than me! Doc talks a lot too - mostly about being smart as far as I can tell. They - doc insists on 'they' - seems pretty resistant to my advances, maybe it's just the mask. Maybe I'm taking the wrong approach but I'm not as brainy as they are. Unlike the others I don't really care what 'they' have between their legs - I'm fine with either. I've broken more resistant people. I'll keep trying. If it don't work, they're not my main target anyway. Kennyboy seems fine with the other two. Just completely ignores me. Goes mousy when I approach him direct. Feel like a cat - like it. Want to know what his deal is.

### Third entry

*Concerning the fight with Kamal's crew.*

That. Was. Great. *Nailed* her! Alright, so, we were attacked. Raiders, of course. They got Rashid, rammed a great big hole in the skiff. Their chief was some young upstart chick. Recognised the stupid smirk on her face - she got a skiff, weapon, some guys latched onto her tits hard enough they wanna die for her and she thinks she's some new *Zenobia* pirate-queen-on-top-of-the-world. Cocky bitch. She had reality comin' up behind her and I was glad to help. Zoned in on her immediate. Bitch thought she could take me. Didn't even draw blood. Sig was beside me fighting a big dude. He's lucky - didn't get hit once. Didn't hit much either though - he should really get some of those glasses he keeps moaning about. Bitch tried to run, actually run. Big dude tried to block me going after her but Kenny shot him up. Cunt with a crossbow got me in the shoulder, couldn't stop the bitch from running. Could stop her escape though! Got her with my throw-axe, lucky shot I admit. She was on the railing with I struck, she was dazed and fell down in between the skiffs and died. Hope she felt her luck turn. Shouldn't've attacked me. Two of the guys got away - one near dead thanks to Kenny. The other two apparently got solo'd by Doc of all people. Their second shot in a fight and they blew this wanker's head right off. Potential, there. The last one actually fainted hehe. Fair enough, you need a strong stomach to see a head blown apart and not throw up your last meal but, by *Zoro*, what amateurs.

### Fourth entry

*Concerning the aftermath of the fight and the party's entry into Rhone.*

So there I was, on a broken skiff with sand all around, with an old man, a mouse, and a bird. They're kind of growing on me. Further we had a couple dead guys and one captured. Wanted to lob his head off but someone wanted to talk. Fine with me - I'll end him later. Searched the bitch's body. Who knows if she knew anything. She had a locket - a pic of some random *Darius*. Not one of her crew. No sense chasing this, but I'll keep it. At the least it'll make a nice reminder. The others searched the skiff - seems Doc could actually fix it but we got no supplies. Then, a camel *karwan* led by one Ali shows up. Kenny brokered a deal - Ali supplies, we (Doc) fix the skiff, he gets us to Rhone, we sell him the skiff. No reason to say no. Ali was dodgy at first but realised he was trying to come on to me. Might be useful. He got us into the city cleanly. Doc has friends in town, but we need a passport to get to the upper levels. Ali knows a guy. Also knows a fence to sell the bitch's fancy armour off to. Won't do to get traced - learned that the hard way. Kenny grabbed himself a new cloak, less eye-catching and less torn. Still no clue what this is about. Sig and Doc went to get glasses, Sig cautious about the checkpoint? Later heard they nearly caused a brawl, and that Sig's parents were religion headcases nabbed by Rone and he's afraid he's on a blacklist of whatever. We saw them thru the checkpoint. Kenny was being weird - hid behind a wall and spied on them, his pretty head thinking so hard I heard his water boil. Felt like an idiot - both of us were trying to pretend we didn't have anything to do with each other but we do. Headed back to the port to meet Ali. Sands, I must've tried everything but throw myself at the lad but he ignores me like he doesn't see me. Sometimes when our eyes meet he just smiles this weird uncomfortable grimace. What is *with* him?!

Later, we met Doc and Sig-with-glasses. Sig and Doc tried to get Kenny to drink, likely to make him spill his story. Was interested. Waiting for Ali's contacts too. Then, it happened. A random drunk - or so I thought at first - called out 'Zoya'. I thought it strange - I've never been in Rohne - but not impossible. He probably was someone I 'met' before and who hadn't understood it didn't mean anything. Not the first time. But this was different - he was angry, and tried to attack. He was drunk and an idiot and managed to knock himself out. Fool. Took a look. His armour was dusty and well-worn. He obviously came from far - the frontier or even deeper into the desert. No markings on his clothes, but... Even drunk, he insisted he knew me. That weird emphasis on the name... I don't like this. Can it be that the past is catching up?

### Fifth entry

*Concerning the drunk, the Tahsin, and the team. Written somewhere after the Tahsin attack on Shuvash.*

Been a while since last I write. Things happened. Zoya had to wake up all right. Not that the drunk shitstain knew anything. Just some random survivor that somehow knew my name. Thank *Zoro*, for half a day I feared they'd come for me. For someone to know the name Parysatis... Could have been the traitors, could even have been the whole sand-blasted cell - chief arse-sick is an unpredictable bastard. Could've been anyone. Turns out it was nobody. Still put me on edge. Didn't notice how much until we sat in a bar and Sig joked about me going man-hunting and I didn't feel like playing flirty Zoya at all. Never was fun anyway. Not sure why I even did it. Guess it was easier to fall back on something everyone already thought I was than to invent a whole new spiel. It's not like the flirting ever got me anything except whining weaklings and a blade to the back. Well, a few free beers I guess.

Speaking of getting stuff out of people, these Tahsin guys are an interesting bunch. Sneaky bastards though. Stick to the shadows. Cowards. Never seen the like before - like black market dealers, but warriors. They've people in a lot of places. Rone even. Pretty sure they don't have ears back home, but who knows they might come past Furka. They might be able to find them. Dohl turned out to be as valuable as he was important - not at all. Even the pirate queen turned out to be just one of his people instead of someone connected. Well, not that I expected much. Still not sure what to think of my 'companions', however the hell we ended up traveling together.

### Sixth entry

*Concerning the other members of the party. Might have been written as a follow up to the previous, Sainzo isn't sure. Written after the Holchebad party.*

My ‘companions’, then. Not that we are. Dunno why the three of us ended up in the same situation. Almost as if Zoro’s playing with us. These Tahsin apparently think that we’re a band or something, sending us out together. Don’t think any of us sees it that way. I sure as sandstorms don’t. Maybe Sig does. At least, he seems to think me and Kenny are his ‘kids’. Yeah right. Old man missing his daughter I suppose. Why are they doing this? I mean, for me the Tahsin is the closest to a useful network I’ve found. Chatting up thugs and soldiers hasn’t gotten me anything. Some mention of the Fairy, sure. Still dead ends. Betting on the Tahsin to help find the backstabbing bastards. *Ahura*, why did they do it?! Well, I’ll make sure they tell me before they die.

Anyway, no idea why they’re putting up with fate dragging us around. Kenny says he needs money. As good a reason as any I suppose, even though there’s simpler jobs. Killing a few rockcrabs or something. No wait, that’s how all this crap started in the first place. Still, he’s looking for that *bache* of his. Maybe he wants Tahsin help too. As for Sig, no idea. Seems pretty eager. Money? Maybe he gets some ruin-diver thrills from these old places. Over all though, he’s a *khar*. Typical man, but idiotic too. Lost count how often he’s gotten us in shit or wasted our time. Was forced into going to some fancy party and wear moron clothes because of that daughter of his. Seems he has trouble with his mate who is his mate no longer. Seems she roped some random *Darius* into harassing him. Pathetic, especially since her indirect attacks don’t hurt him. Why not fight it out? Was impressed with how he knew she's harmless. He's not weak, but he is cocky. Never a good thing. But then we were attacked by some random amateur thugs, and he thought they were sent after him. First he's confident his mate cannot touch him, then he gets scared by some boys with knives. *Khar*. And he dares call me coward?!

The *moosh* then. Strange. Still confusing. Keeps being unexpected. Just as I supposed he was somehow terrified of all women, he starts talking to me instead of talking at me. Usually we roll eyes over Sig being stupid, but still. I… am I lowering my guard around him? I guess it helps to know he is – apparently – no typical man. He has gotten me to tell more than I had expected or even wanted to. Even talked about father a bit and, as expected, it’s difficult not to let anything slip. Far too different worlds. It actually turns out Kenny’s dad was betrayed and killed. Didn’t expect that. Doesn’t explain him though. Who wouldn’t want revenge? His position is actually shittier than mine. Rhone killed his dad. He and I both’d have to fight through an army, but I at least have names. Still, he’s an idiot. Told some story about 'playing pirates' on a skiff. Raising a ‘pirate flag’. Ridiculous. First, you cannot ‘play’ pirate, only be. Naïve. Foolish. Second, bandits don’t wave flags about. No surprise. Draws unwanted attention. Caravan guards prepare themselves, flares are shot up, Rhonean military alerted. Bad idea. Even back east, where there's no Rhone. Flag can identify a cell. Don't use one.

Despite how stupid they are, I guess having them around is starting to feel comfortable. When I first met them I fought alone while they were too busy injuring themselves. Now they’re actually learning how to fight properly. Kenn, especially, can be brutal with that boom-sword thing. There was a moment on our ship that felt like I was back a year. Just our small band on our own ship, racing over the sands, going where we want. Saw Kenn at the wheel, and just for a moment I imagined heading over and telling him to set to the nearest undefended port… Still, it’s not the same. We aren't forced to raid to survive. The dead are dead and stay dead. This'd be a terrible band anyway. Sig may know things, but even Pharna was savvier than he, where it mattered anyway. Kenny may be stronger than I thought, but he couldn't be like Tissa was for the life of him. It's not the same. Still, I hear her voice again, telling me to just go for it, telling me this could just be enough to make it work.

## Post-Wiki diaries

### Seventh entry

*Some quick thoughts on the many things that happened since Sainzo last wrote an entry.*

Again, been a long time since I wrote. Seems I only write when stuff happens. Stuff that gets to me I mean. Loads of other things happened. All blending together, and I forget what happened when.

Ran around a couple more old places, those ones Sig likes. Even managed to get some to light up. No clue what that's about. One of them became a thumper, woke up *qebesh*. I've seen plentry in my life but this one... May my water turn stale for ever doubting father's stories. It was huge. Sig read some old scribbles - these places are linked, something about nature. Getting a bad feeling. Never seen carcasses with this many vultures circling. Tahsin sent us in, but they have their own people around anyway. Rhonians are interested. Rhonian admiral named Vendrick pops up everywhere. Not sure what to think of him. He seems a strong *pati*, in control. Wonder if he can actually fight or if he's another of them city-born children that get important just because their families have gold. Apparently he's from the north. Not sure what that means. We got captured by some crazed *usij* who was fucking about with these artefacts as well. Wanted to sacrifice us in some unholy *yasna*. Sands take these blasted bricks!

The Tahsin sent another out to search old places. Met with him a couple times. Wanderer named Isa, came from the east. Strange man. Says he was born a nomad, definitely seems like he knows the east. Good warrior I think, but in the same way the Tahsin are. Sneaky. Works with poisons. Talks like a fancy schooled Rhonian. He even offered to help me off Tissa and Pharna. Tcha. He may've been born east, but he doesn't understand. He's sure as sands ain't used to the same desert I am.

Carried around a bunch of miners and their families for ages. *Ahura* knows why. Not my idea. Kenny and Sig took pity I guess. Liked how they finally showed some backbone when they attacked this rich Rhonian *bache loos*. Don't like how this, to them, somehow went on to include caring for the weak. Ain't how the world works. The whole desert is built on who is strong and who is weak. First they prove themselves stronger, then immediately prove they are weaker than the little brat. Then they sell these miners to Rhone anyway. Yeah, like that makes their lives better. Some people are just meant to be at the bottom of the cesspit that is life. Don't mean they should lie down and give up, but also don't mean others should help them.

Seems Rhone is trying to get east - again. By *Zoro*, why do they keep trying? Can't they leave us alone?! They've already been defeated by the desert itself - *qebesh* and storms took them. But if they return in force, the *kara* will fight them directly. They don't stand a chance. Still, this Vendrick seems to be in charge of the whole thing. Unpredictable people everywhere. Don't like it. Gotta admit, I'm concerned about these Rhone airskiffs. No clue what they can do. Wonder how to take one down.

### Eighth Entry

*Chiefly concerning Kamal's reappearance, kind of following up on the previous.*

About the important stuff happening I mentioned before. Things that get to me. Sandstorms take the west. Somehow it looks like there's even more people out to get me here. Not a single one of them is even remotely connected. Of everyone that's come for me that drunk wreck was the most eastern and he wasn't much of anything anymore, whoever he used to be. He would've been better off as food for the *adar*.

Anyway, more people out for my *aban*. Were in Khazi when we spotted someone in black. Wouldn't have meant much had he not instantly ran off like an *oskol*. Went after him immediate 'course. Slippery *pedar sag*. Faceplanted into some crates with the *moosh* half an top of me. Sig broke into a house. Dog got stuck on a roof. Fortunately the kid wasn't as quick on his feet as he would've liked and he got nabbed by the city guard. Heh. Went to see him in jail. Turned out it was the crossbow coward whose girlfriend I axed. Hates us for defending ourselves. Tch. Good to have him at my mercy, not so good I couldn't just off him without getting the guard on me. Still, he tracked us. Tailed us. No saying if he was planning anything. No saying he couldn't have gotten out easy. Wasn't prepared to leave him there with a grudge. Wanted to find out what he knew. He offered information in trade for his freedom. Said there were others after us. Had to take it.

So made up a story about him being my *khar* brother or whatever and bailed him out. I swear to *Zoro* I'll get that hundred back from him some way, if only in the satisfaction of taking his head off. Pretty sure he was just using us to get out, but I made sure to keep my axe on his neck. Only released him when we were skiffing along the sands. Wanted to be able to bury him quick. He finally talked and guess what, it seems those bandit friends of that mad *usij* are after us. No fucking shit, I got that the moment they sailed after us. Ofcourse he didn't know anything about Tissa or Pharna or even the Fairy. *Ahura*, I would've offed him if it weren't for what happened next.

Coward went on a rage against us and the Tahsin. Guess I would too. Don't mean I'll pity him. Bastard still blames us even though they attacked first. Anger became sob sob. The usual 'just trying to survive' boo hoo. I know you are, fucker, 'cause so am I. The whole desert is. Ain't like everyone can stay alive in this world. There's gotta be losers. You lost. Problem is, Kenny was taken in and Sig went along. They want to help. Tch. Apparently this coward and some other survivors want to rescue Dohl. Seems the Tahsin realised he was useless and handed him over to Rhone. Not sure what they're playing at. Got dragged into a planning. Seems hopeless really.

Thing is, this coward insists Dohl wasn't that worthless. Seems the weak fuck used to be a trader back east. Fuck he might know things. *Ahura*, if he's connected to the Furkan companies he might well have been involved with the ambush.

## Glossary

Zoya's writings are peppered with eastern words and expressions. This sort of slipped by in character creation, but she really should have either an own language or at least a strong dialect. Sainzo tends to use into his own voice, but he's started trying to get some expressions into RP as well. Eastern expressions often include references to sands, fire and water. The foreign words Zoya uses are all Persian or Zoroastrian.

*aban* - water

*adar* - fire

*Ahura* - name of a holy man

*bache* - child

*Darius* - equivalent of John, standard name, as in 'John Doe' or 'random Johnny'.

*druj* - lie (chiefly religious), wrongness, the wrong order of things

*kara* - community

*karwan* - caravan

*khar -* idiot, literally means donkey

*loos* - spoiled, prissy

*moosh* - little mouse

*oskol* - moron, literally means puffin

*pati* - chief

*pedar sag* - son of a bitch, literally 'father dog'

*usij* - false priest, one who follows *druj*

*yasna* - ritual

*Zenobia* - legendary female chief

*Zoro* - name of a deity