A Splash of Honey

Berrynose paced outside of the medicine den, eyes narrowed, tail raised and neck fur bristling. He watched the hanging-lichen entrance to the den with a solemn blue gaze. It had been three sunrise since it happened. Leafpool and Jayfeather had said that she'd be healed by this time. He hissed under his breath and stalked around, not caring when he stepped on a thorn and felt it dig into his soft pads. There would never be pain worse than watching her die.

Daisy swept her plumy tail over his back, but it didn't calm him. She was just adding fire to his ever burning blaze. It consumed him, and nothing would put it out, nothing.

Except relief.

Except knowledge that Honeyfern would survive.

He snarled and glared at his mother. Now that he was a warrior, he was larger than her, even with her fluffy cream fur. Daisy watched with her distressed vision. He snorted. "What do you want?" His voice was sharper than it usually was. Everyone was on edge after the snake attack. As the grim Sorreltail and Brackenfur turned to look at him, he lowered his voice. "You know you won't help. Nothing will." He raised his head in defiance and stalked away.

Daisy tried to hurry after him, but he'd sat down, staring blankly at the stone slabs above him. Hazeltail and Mousewhisker rushed over, brushing their flanks against his, but he didn't pay attention. He knew he was being selfish.

But... nothing would soothe him. He tried to find hope, tried to be optimistic. But deep inside, he knew. He pondered the question as he went on a boring patrol with Brambleclaw, Graystripe, and Thornclaw. They sent him pitiful blinks that he detested. Or, at least, he used to.

Now, everything was empty.

Numb.

* + -

*A few days later...*

Honeyfern writhed on the hard ground. She raised her head. Her shoulder was still sore, achiing and tender from the snake bite. She frowned. Her life had changed because of that small adder. What if she wouldn't be able to be a warrior anymore? *Or*, she thought, deciding that this fate was worse. *What if Berrynose and I won't be able to be mates still?*

Her heart hurt more than her body did. She wasn't allowed to go back to her duties in a moon. Fortunately, tonight, she'd be able to come out. Her tongue lapped at the small pool of water in the medicine den. Leafpool watched over her with a worried expression. She was always concerned.

*Berrynose doesn't deserve to grieve. He should be happy.* Honeyfern was perplexed at why she wasn't able to leave. Leafpool applied a stinging poultice to her body and she knelt as the brown tabby groomed her fur, cleansing it of any dirt and remaining dried blood. She sighed.

"Why so sad? You'll be able to leave in a few moments," Leafpool asked as she pounded marigold. Honeyfern blinked. Was she being *that* obvious?

"I just... miss Berrynose," she admitted as she winced under the sudden pricks. It was nothing compared to the agony she'd felt, clearly. But on her weathered body, it still stung.

Leafpool nodded absentmindedly, a faraway look coming to her face. For a second, she seemed lost. Then with a sharp flick of her head, she came back. *What was that about?* Honeyfern wondered, questioning for the first time if Leafpool had always been loyal. She sympathized with the she-cat. Well, she was considerate to all cats, really.

Then Leafpool gestured with her paw. "Go on. It's time for you to leave." She looked dreamy again, so Honeyfern stood up and ran outside, hope rushing through her, joy sparkling in her pelt. She felt light-headed, not from dizziness nor sickness, but from happiness and love.

She was met by a pair of bright, brave blue eyes, and a noble and handsome pelt. Honeyfern grinned as Berrynose wrapped around her. "I've missed you," she breathed as she licked his ear.

"I've missed you too." Berrynose's gaze clouded. "I thought..." he trailed off in a whisper. "I thought you would die." She shook her head firmly and laughed, the first time she'd laughed since her accident.

"Well," she meowed slyly. "I'm alive now, aren't I?" Berrynose nodded and let her rest her tired head on his shoulder. She'd never felt better in her life.

* + -

*A few moons later...*

Berrynose headed out of camp with Honeyfern right behind him. He beamed at her and her smile shone back. She'd had a large quality of recovery, with Leafpool and Jayfeather kindly treating to her injuries with a vast amount of experience. Occasionally she favored her left side over her right and sometimes limped, but she'd made a lot of progress.

The woods smelled of prey and herbs, flooding his nose. It felt nice to enjoy it with Honeyfern. She'd suggested they go on a walk, and he'd happily agreed. She had been growing plumper during the past few days - she wasn't the scrawny, limp soul that she'd been four moons ago, after the snake bite. Her muscles were strong underneath her fur.

Once they reached the lakeside, the sun had fully risen. Honeyfern entertained him with humorous jokes, and he chuckled along with them, the hot light warming his pelt. He stood by the lake with her and she waded into the shallow water, playfully splashing him with a new glow in her eyes.

After he'd wrestled her back, she meowed, "I brought you out here to tell you something." Berrynose thought she looked beautiful in the sun, with her pelt shining and her eyes bright. Her appearance just reflected how she was on the inside - gorgeous in beauty and in kindness and love. He couldn't have asked for a better mate nor friend.

"Okay. What did you want to tell me?" he inquired. He was always calmer around Honeyfern. That was probably because she made every cat feel wanted and liked. Berrynose knew he wasn't the most considerate of all cats, but he tried to be better.

Honeyfern walked up to him and licked his ear, nudging his side. Her expression was loving - it always was - and proud. *What did she do?*

"Berrynose... I - I... I'm expecting kits!" Honeyfern exclaimed and flicked his leg with her tail. Berrynose staggered with surprise, and then pride. He was dumbfounded.

The only thing he could say was, "Wait... Honeyfern, I'm going to be a father!" Images filled his mind, of Daisy playing and grooming each of her kits, of Ferncloud ushering two tiny shapes back into the nursery. And then... the visions without his father. He was angry. His father had never been there for him, so Daisy had to single-pawedly raise him.

It was unjust.

Not fair.

He would be a far better dad than that. He fidgeted and scratched the ground. So Honeyfern *wasn't* eating too much fresh-kill, she was pregnant. *We'll be parents. And I'll raise my kits as best I can.* He couldn't help but squeal, "When are they coming?"

Honeyfern giggled at his high-pitched voice. She cleared her throat. "In a moon or so."

Berrynose gently touched her leg. "Let's get you back to camp. I can't wait to tell my kin!"

*Moons later...*

"Push! You're almost done!" Jayfeather's talk comforted Honeyfern. She felt her lower muscles tense, push, tense, push, chasm, tense, push. She bit down hard on the small stick in her mouth, she could feel it splinter. She gritted her teeth and kept working, pushing until she couldn't bear it. She closed her eyes.

Leafpool pressed her paw against Honeyfern's flank, and Honeyfern took a deep breath. There was a dull, hammering pain, but she could do this. *She would.* By now there were three little wet bundles by Honeyfern, squeezing over to her to suckle at milk. She took a deep breath and panted, short small gasps. She was done. She blinked and opened her eyes.

In front of her, Berrynose, Sorreltail, Leafpool, and Jayfeather looked very proud. "Well done!" Sorreltail exclaimed and briskly groomed her fur. Honeyfern lay on her side, welling with joy and love and hope and pride, everything that she'd learned to be important.

Berrynose touched his muzzle to her cheek. "They're beautiful," he whispered and she titled her posture to look at her kits. One was a bright ginger she-cat, with green eyes. The other was a brown-and-cream tom, and the last was a tiny gray she-cat. Honeyfern smiled at them and let then snuggle up wtih her.

"What should we name them?" Berrynose asked her. She struggled to sit and thankfully lapped up some herbs that Leafpool and Jayfeather gave to her. She hadn't really thought about names yet. There were so many to choose! But the brown-and-cream tom reminded her of a certain cat. She felt a sharp pang of loss go through her. *Molepaw. He never got to become even a warrior.* She missed her one brother. But this kit was a way to tribute to him. Of course, he would be a very different cat, but his name woulnd't make him like Molepaw. He would choose his own personality and destiny.

"How about... Molekit? After my brother, Molepaw." She trailed off into silence. Berrynose lapped at her unkempt fur. His eyes clouded.

"I'm so sorry about that. Does it still hurt?" Honeyfern sighed.

"Sometimes. When you lose a littermate, it always hurts. But I've learned not to push away ones I love. Like Sorreltail, Brackenfur, Poppyfrost, Cinderheart, and you. I love you, Berrynose."

"I love you too. And Molekit is a beautiful name."

She glanced at the gray she-cat and the ginger she-cat. What about them? "How about Cherrykit?" she asked him. Berrynose looked amused.

"Trying to name it after me, I suppose?" He puffed out his chest. "I could never be so honored." She snorted at his humor.

"Yes, but I always wanted to name a kit Cherrykit. And now I can." He nodded.

What about the last kit? The gray she-kit? She seemed to be waiting for her name, her ears perked and her wee tail wagging side-to-side. Honeyfern didn't know what the name could possibly be. Then it came to her. She would name this kit after the thing that kept every cat wishing, wanting, alive. It was what had led her to recover so quickly, and what led her to think about other cats all the time.

"Berrynose?" Honeyfern muttered faintly as she gazed with eyes full of love at her three amazing kits. "What do you think of the name Hopekit?" He smiled at her.

"I think... that's perfect." And as the sun set in a glorious sky of pink, orange, and gold, Honeyfern purred.

This was what love felt like.