Veteran MPs Bring Political Baggage

**By Mark Wente, Mope and Wail**

*January 23, 2014*

Many of the newly elected MPs will be entering the House this afternoon for the first time ever. When they do, they’ll look to the political veterans – those who have previously served as MPs – for guidance and advice. And while these returning MPs undoubtedly bring a wealth of knowledge and experience, they also bring a nauseating number of previous political fumbles.

Take Joshua Parker, Member of Parliament for Eglington-Lawrence. He’s had a meteoric rise. Today, he’s Deputy Leader of STYLE, the Official Opposition, and the eldest member of Toronto’s powerful Parker dynasty, which includes Toronto MPs Oliver, Jake and Noah Parker. He’s also the STYLE critic for Broken Social Scene and for Ocular Fashion and Alternative Eyewear which STYLE (for better or for worse – I’d wager for worse) considers a priority portfolio.

And yet while Parker is getting his time in the limelight, few are aware of his disastrous political history. As Minister of the Environment and Natural Resources under the Wise and Sophisticated Party’s government, Parker *never once* sat a day in the House. When WSP fell, he sat as an independent for the rest of his mandate, which he considers his “greatest achievement” (though it is easy to speculate that he was simply utterly unaware of the goings-on around him).

Now, Parker’s role in the backrooms of STYLE is coming to light, with insiders leaking squabbles between him and party leader Julia Riddle, despite their calm façade of smiling politeness. Parker has been heard telling Riddle, “go f\*\*\* yourself. F\*\*\* you.” Similarly, Riddle has been known to frequently ask her deputy to “Stop being dumb, Josh.”

Contrast Parker, now, to political master Michael Kelly, MP for St. John’s East, who is currently entering his fifth (that’s right, FIFTH!) mandate. While we can only hope his knees don’t go on his way into the House, it is clear that Kelly’s mind is as sharp as ever. His devotion to his constituents is unquestionable (how can it be, after 5 successful elections?) and in a recent interview, he argued eloquently in favour of Motion 69, which he hopes to see pass as soon as possible.

But Kelly’s reliability isn’t necessarily going to make him popular outside of CATS. A look back at his own political history may raise eyebrows or induce shudders – he was once leader of the Rent Is Too Damn High Party, and then a few years later led the Atlantic Alliance during its poorest historical electoral performance, and its eventual disbanding. Perhaps this sense that Kelly is “past his prime” can explain why he was given a relatively smaller critic portfolio in CATS. He is now critic for Fisheries and Oceans, as well as the Atlantic Canada Opportunities Agency, which some may see as a demotion from his glory days as Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Citizenship and Immigration. Is it a question of trust from the CATS party leadership? Or is Kelly just allowing himself to fade slowly and quietly into obscurity?

A third veteran of this session of Parliament is SWAG’s Stephane Mukunzi, MP for Papineau. As a political novice, he was appointed Minister of Justice under the IPP, where he abolished all prisons in favour of rehabilitation centres (it should be noted that although Mukunzi is still proud of this accomplishment, it is now commonly accepted as having been an utter failure). Today, he is the Deputy Prime Minister, giving him much influence in the direction of both our country and the SWAG party, which seems ever on the brink of crumbling. And yet, he seems quite detached from the system. In a recent interview, his answers were unusually sterile, even for a Cabinet member. The only time he showed true passion was when he got rambling on and on about his intentions to retire from politics and purchase a shiny pony to bring back to Papineau. This raises worrying questions about whether Mukunzi is still living in the present, and how much he is actually committed to Canadians in the here-and-now.

With mere hours before the next session of Parliament, I look upon the numerous MPs who are already familiar with the House with great respect. The very fact that they were re-elected shows that constituents somewhere still put trust in them. But I also look upon them with unease. For if they carry on with their legacies of muddled, bumbling mistakes, the future of Canada looks bleak. Let us hope that this time around, they can focus enough to minimize their own damage.