Fleas a Crowd

**Fleas a Crowd** is the twelve episode of the second series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on the 17th June 2003.

## Summery

The pets suffer from a flea infestation, creating havoc around the house and leaving everyone itchy and miserable. Kelly prepares to go on a trip to Philadelphia to visit her boyfriend, Bert. Sharon does not want her to go away alone (she prefers her to have security at all times), and drives Kelly crazy as she somewhat jokingly nags her. Sharon has Robert and Jack move a heavy statue out to the garden, but never seems satisfied by the location. She forces them to move it several times.

The house is redecorated, and Ozzy finds himself extremely bewildered by a giant statue of a hand. Kelly goes against her parents' wishes and gets a nose ring, which Sharon wants her to remove. Kelly later mistakes the nose ring for something on her nose and accidentally flicks it out.

## Memorable Quotes

"*Ozzy is Vie die da ya! Here's Ozzy Osbourne! Ya!*"
— Ozzy speaking some German

"*Oh my God! It'll be on in Germany on the 19th January! Okay, I can't say that fucking shit!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*It's a $6 million fleapit!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*No fucking way! They've got bugs that they don't even know their names are, there's so many of them.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Dude, I've always wanted to go to Brazil cause it's like crazy style down there. There's like one plant in the Amazon, if you rub against it, it'd makes you see fire.*"
— Robert

"*I am not one with nature with fucking mosquitoes and spiders and creepy crawlies up your arse I couldn't do that.Anything that would lay an egg in you, forget it!* "
— Sharon Osbourne

"*A yellow flea?! That bitch be dead!*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*I'm not taking a security guard with me! That's like me being in prison 24/7, mum.*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*I fucking hate Korea!*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*It would be nice if you can have your period whilst on the bus.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Dad, I'm not that dumb! That's retarded*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*How the Hell am I going to get this little guy in the garden?*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*We don't need Dave, fuck Dave!*"
— Robert

"*Lola's gonna fucking sniff it and it'll fall!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*That thing weighs 200 fucking pounds!*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Take your head out your arse, you fucking evil woman!*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*Maybe I could get up and sing, too, with the band.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*We got no army to fight the fucking bugs!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*You should be happy, you shouldn't be fucking crying. Wished you cry when you put me out on the fucking road.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I'm sat there with £700 grands worth of jewellery on. I've got my designer tracksuit on and I am covered in fleabites and I just started to laugh.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*That sofa's gotta be burnt*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Burnt at the stake like a witch!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Friday night sacrifice to the Gods. The fuck am I talking about?!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Get a fucking flamethrower and get it over and done with, man.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*It's the Osbournes they have fleas!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*It looks like you got a bogey on the side of your nose*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*It'll soon fucking change.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I give you the best seat in the house and what do you do to me? Piss on our fucking couch, man.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne