That's MISTER Loins to You

> *This episode is about chapters 1 and 2 of Star Wars: The Crystal Star*
>
>

==

**If they were a** : ==
A Rogue Podron Dramatic Reading

**Old-host:** Heath is... Meg & Danny doing Sny Snootles/Ziro.

## **A Star Wars Question**:

What if we didn't get rid of Ash when Heath came back? Also,

## **Highlights:**

* Patreon Level 1 million: Video Podcast where one of the panels in the feed is just the visual gags in the show notes.
* Meg is trying to give ~~my~~ our numbering system a heart attack.
* Rogue Podron Predicted the Crystal Stardron.
* If I had any pages for Season 9, you can bet I would be pasting like half a page here.
* Danny predicts a dramatic reading of a theme song. 11:00
* ***"The children have been kidnapped"*** is said ##7 times.
* Anakin Solo was named in Dark Empire 2 (aka the Star Wars version of Ghostbusters 2)
* Pros and cons of Star Wars child names, end result: Literally anything is better than Han Solo Jr.
* At night, by the light of the full moon, the *WERESTERJETTSWOLF* hunts the moors.
* If you make direct eye contact with a Besilisk you turn to stone.
* Saf explains MUNTED"
* Per the patreon it would take 1/4 of $69,420 to have Meg sly to New Zealand just to troll Saf at work.
* Jed, but a little spruced up. Judy, but with an E. Jedi, but with a silent Q.
* Why gone? Because canon Yoda, that's why.
* Respect their culture, unless that culture TRAUMATIZES CHILDREN.
* Frodo Baggins made some very angry tweets about The Last Jedi.
* Victim blaming Chewbacca is NEVER the right move.
* Danny makes it sadder. 25:00
* Winter is at a convention, probably cosplaying Elsa.
* Meg is overworked. 28:00
* **Mister Loins**
* Detective Artoo =>= Detective Pikachu?
* EU Authors "How does empathy work? What is a.... non-sex-u-al-ized wo-man???"
* Call Out ablist alien screeching
* Leia's Country Bumpkin Roadtrip 2k15ABY
* Ash lives between the Mid-rim and Outer-rim of North America.
* Nobody gets hurt =/= Nobody IMPORTANT gets hurt.

**Dramatic Reading:** Chapter numbers 2 (Meg as Luke, Ash as Han)

* Little Jedi Knights do come from somewhere, *their cradles*.
* Meg's Luke is CANON LUKE.
* Crseih Steakhouse; No Morals, Just Science
* Han's penis is "lutehorn" reference [courtship episode link pending]
* Jeff Rendar reference, potential guest?
* How does the introduction of Slightly Altered Luke effect the Slightly Taller Luke canon?
* Desert Planets are the Brunette White women of space.
* Danny finally found a Force power they want after all these years. 48:00
* Shared Childhood Trauma
* Gonna have to call out Rogue Leader about pronouncing "Hairy Gollum" as Golem
* Spuckubi
* Suicidal Ghostling are all about that Lutehorn.
* The Bartender has his own Lucasarts game.
* Giant Enhanced Woman Lando
* Saf, it's too late to blow Meg's mind tonight!
* Listen to the very end for Rogue Nine's Kylo Ren impression.

## **Responses to Week-Before-Last Episode's Glistener Question:**

What were some of Poe's side hustles in college?

**Rogue Leader**: The one asked the week before.

**Rogue Six**: Don't list these if they were answered last week.

**Rogue Seven**: Just leave that host out.

**Rogue Two**: Paraphrase, this wiki is not a transcript.

### **Glistener Responses:**

* Dinner Leader-- Podcast about starships.
* Ziro the Hutt -- He washed "in between my folds"
* Jason -- Farm hand on a flower farm
* Maya Kitten -- Picking fruit at Yavin IV orchards just to get him out of the house.
* Mika -- Night Shift at the Bone Market.
* Liam -- Space Radio Shack
* Nick -- Sexy Barrista, Academy Dorm-Exclusive Stripper, Sexy Pizza Delivery Driver
* TomtheFanboy-- Base One tour guide. (it's MASSASSI)
* Someone??? -- Door Dash, but delviering in his X-Wing
* Abigail -- Work Study at the Academy Library (the link)
* X-Wings and History -- Landscaping at the weird private school down the street from his house on Yaving IV.
* Oaty-- Poe moonlit as a model for the Fabercrombie & Itch holo-catalog.
* Malai -- Eat Wi'tchfire (late answer)
* Hassan -- Selling vehicle and vessel insurance
* Ben Newton -- DJ Flyboy in Nar Saada
* Ben Worman -- Fastfood window guy

**Glistening Bodhi goes to: Malai (from Danny), Jason (from Ash).**

## **Responses to Last Week's Glistener Question:**

### What is on Palpatine's online dating profile?

**Rogue Leader**: No real name, picture only shows neck down, "can't show face due to work issues, DM for pics :P).

**Rogue Nine**: A really bad picture with "Not looking for anything serious."

### **Glistener Responses:**

* TomtheFanboy-- Master Looking for a Mistress...(image)
* Hasan -- Palpatine is a patient planner, and once he gets that special someone there's no stopping him.
* Ziro the Hutt -- Into *\*CHOPPER NOISES\**
* Wicked Stupid -- A picture of him holding a fish.
* Dinner Leader -- Long Walks on the Lava Beach...
* Oaty-- Looking for a spark? I'll give you the FULL LIGHTING BOLT!... (slender)
* Malai -- It just says "Do it."

**Glistening Bodhi goes to: Mika (from Saf), Dinner Leader (from Meg), Malai (from Danny). Slightly Smaller Glistening Bodhi for Tom.**

## **This Week's Glistener Question:**

### What would you do if you could just slightly alter your appearance in The Force??

Rogue Seven: Change their face just enough to get more cheese samples at the store.

Rogue Three: Take on aspects of people's appearance to throw them off.

Rogue Nine: Hide the hearing aids so boomers stop asking about them.

Rogue Leader: Look manly to avoid catcalls.

## Reviews:

Abby Gleeson: The Chaotic Evil of Pods. Five Stars.

MartinusMiraculorum: Absolute Chaotic Delight. Five Stars.