OOPS Terminal Entries

A transcription of **terminal entries** from OOPS.

## General Terminal

**Location**: This terminal is located on the second floor, in the lower area of the central lab.

Olympus Orbital Pharmaceutical Station

# Property of Auntie Cleo

Anthrocillin+ Team

Welcome to the project. What is Anthrocillin+?

-Anthrocillin plus mint flavor
-Works on humans plus canids
- Just added a plus sign to the name

As you can see, branding is still working out the kinks. But luckily, we've plenty of time to finish the formula before they finalize the packaging and slogans.

Now let's get to work brewing a bigger, better version of Auntie's Anthrocillin!

REMINDER: Friends don't let friends self-test their concoctions.

### Project Update

NOTICE, EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: Team, we're temporarily redirecting our efforts to perfecting Dr. Low's proprietary "Sky High Mix" which maximizes genius and productivity. After sampling Dr. Low's "Sky High Mix," the team agrees that this will enable us to reach our original project goals better in the long run and is so worth a momentary detour.

-Yates

### Project Data

Project Data Folder

Files available for access:

#### Meeting Notes

A note on today's meeting notes:

This record is abbreviated due to an unscheduled chemical leak that permeated the meeting room. The resulting and immediate inhalation of noxious gases caused double vision, hallucinations, an uncontrollable sense of giddiness, and projectile vomiting. Side-effects occurred in all meeting participants. As such, we cut the time block down to 1 hour from the standard 2 hour review.

Meeting notes:

Dr. Low: Where the devil is Sullivan? I told that numbskull if he missed one more staff meeting -
Yates: He couldn't make it, Doctor. He caught his hand in the specimen-splicer again.
Dr. Low: Oh. You mean, his remaining hand.
Audine: Not anymore.
Yates: [snickering]
Dr. Low: What was that? I heard something.
Yates: Nothing
Dr. Low: No, I'm sure. It sounded like a -
Audine: Perhaps it was your imagination, Doctor?
Dr. Low: Right, right. When isn't it, Jasper, when isn't it? At any rate, he'll require a replacement.
Audine: For his hands?
Dr. Low: Don't be asinine. For his productivity. We can't risk falling behind. Not now. Not when I am at long last on the cusp of a breakthrough.
Yates: You’ve balanced the mixture, then? Marvelous, Doctor!
Audine: [whispered to Yates] Bootlicker. [Louder, to Dr. Low] I'll have Kel put in a request for a personnel transfer. If we're very lucky, we could get a new body with the supply drop coming next month. Elsewise, we'll have to wait a year.
Dr. Low: No, no, no. This is unacceptable. I distinctly smell -

[A hissing sound seeps through the vents.]
[Coughing.]

Dr. Low: What imbecile scheduled the testing release in this time block?! The room is alloted for self-testing on Thursdays only!

[Laughing.]
[Laughing.]
[Laughing.]

Yates: I don’t -

[Vomiting.]

- End of meeting notes.

#### Testing Data

"Sky High Mix" Test Concoction 009b

- Administered to raptidon
- Raptidon exploded
- Administered lower dosage
- Raptidon exploded but more slowly

"Sky High Mix" Test Concoction 009c

- Administered single drop to self
- Woke on the turbine platform, naked, drenched, and holding a handful of severed sprat-tails

"Sky High Mix" Test Concoction 010
- Misplaced calculations

"Sky High Mix" Test Concoction 010a+
- Added mint flavoring
- Tested on canid
- Breath markedly improved
- Canid exploded

#### Progress Report

Anthrocillin+ Progress:

Milestone 1 - met
Milestone 2 - met
Milestone 3 - not met
Milestone 4 - not met
Milestone 5 - not met
Milestone 6 - not met
Milestone 7 - not met
Milestone 8 - not met
Milestone 9 - not met
Milestone 10 - not met
Milestone 12 - in progress

## Site Safety Engineer's Terminal

**Location**: This terminal is located on the northern side of the second floor in front of the large window.

Olympus Orbital Pharmaceutical Station

# Property of Auntie Cleo

ALERT: Pink Slip Protocol is currently in effect.

### Disable Sentry Hostility Protocol

**Note**: Requires Hack 65 to access.

The HOSTILITY PROTOCOL for the [Mechanical Sentry] assigned to the command deck is currently disabled.

Please ensure all human resources have been properly disposed of in Auntie Cleo's Bio-Recycle Containment Units. A team shall arrive to close down the lab and recycle functioning equipment within the next 90 days.

### Site Safety Engineer’s Log

From the manual:

In the unfortunate event of a necessitated downsizing, the most senior Site Safety Engineer (or the sole member on assignment) shall initiate, by mandate of Auntie's corporate headquarters, the Pink Slip Protocol manufacturer's directive included within all automechanicals stationed at the Facility.

From the Site Safety Engineer:

"Sit there and guard the red button," they said.

"Sounds like an easy paycheck," I said.

"I'm not going to live in a secret lab in the middle of a gas giant's storm-riddled atmosphere," my ex-wife said.

No one told me I'd eventually have to press the button I was guarding... the Pink Slip Protocol button... that final choice between diligent duty or my friends…

On second thought…

Let's be honest. They were never my friends.

Once I've disabled the protocol and scrubbed the labs, I'll ask corporate for a reassignment. I hear Emerald Vale's real nice this time of year.

### Recent Security Complaints

The following complaints have been filed with the Site Safety Engineer’s Office:

#### Regarding: Sprat tails in coffee

Complaint: Whoever keeps cutting off sprat tails and dropping them into innocent, unguarded cups of coffee needs to CUT IT OUT OR I'LL CUT OFF SOMETHING OF YOURS NEXT!!!!!! IT'S NOT FUNNY AND I'M TIRED OF CLEANING UP COFFEE-COLORED VOMIT.
Reporter: Jr. Custodial Assistant, Gracie G. Goldmane

#### Regarding: Lost cards

Complaint: MISSING: Queen of Hearts, 5 of Clubs, all Aces, and the 3, 7, 8, and 9 of Spades. LAST SEEN: On my desk in a solitaire spread. REWARD IF FOUND: A friendly game of whist. (Even if not returned, we can make do. Really, come play with me... Betting not required. Or we can place bets if you'd rather. I've got a couple packets of sugar-free Zero Percent sweetener left, I could barter.)
Reporter: Receptionist, Kelley

#### Regarding: Power outage thefts

Complaint: Some thefts have been happening each time the power goes off. And the power keeps going off for longer each time. Coincidence? I think not. Folks are getting antsy as the year - and the storm - stretches. And that makes 'em mean.
Reporter: SSE, George (self-reported)

## Messaging Terminal

**Location**: This terminal is located in one of the rooms on the western side of the second floor.

Olympus Orbital Pharmaceutical Station

# Property of Auntie Cleo

Password: Disabled
Notice: Password input disabled. Too many failed password attempts.

Last Login: Perfect Recall When The Numbers And Letters Were Swimming Around On the Page At The Time DOESN'T HELP WITH HORSEFUCKINGSHITE PASSWORDS

### Incoming Messages

Incoming Messages

Select a message:

#### From E. Mora, SUBJECT: A Last and Lethal …

To: Lead Chemist, Dr. Jasper Low
From: Auntie Cleo's Corporate Headquarters, Chief Efficiency Inspector, Dr. Elanora Mora
Subject: A Last and Lethal Warning: Pink Slip Protocol Will Be Coming

Re: re: Progress Report

Advisory notice to the Lead Chemist at the Olympus Orbital Pharmaceutical Station: No satisfactory results have been submitted in 11 months. Pursuant to clause 0059-psp-733.25, if measurable and material proof of progress are not approved within 31 days, station personnel may be found to be in dereliction of duty and as a result could be prematurely terminated.

-Auntie Cleo's Corporate Headquarters, Special Committee for Auditing and Management

Who "cares" about your health more than Auntie Cleo? Nobody!

Post Script --
Jas, my darling genius,

As you are likely now well aware, I must humbly regret to inform you that my exhaustive efforts to protect that beautiful, oversized brain of yours (and consequently its nefarious agenda) are, in fact, failing faster than your rumored last project on Gorgon, I repeat: the corporate hounds are onto your dodgy scent and it's made them thirst and bay for blood. If I cannot supply the executive floors with tangible, undoctored, results - and soon - I'm heartbroken to report that Pink Slip Protocol WILL be initiated by a majority vote, and the project WILL be scrubbed. Wholly and completely.

I trust you understand the full weight of what that means.

One canned project is an embarrassment of epic proportions. Twice is unforgivable.

Please, please, please - I am begging on bended knee. Send me a working prototype. At this stage, even a fatally flawed one will do.

Save yourself and your labcoats before this reflects poorly on my permanent record.

Eternally yours (at least until the next failed delivery milestone),

Your Chief Efficiency Inspector,
Dr. Mora

### Outgoing Messages

Outgoing Messages

Select a message:

#### To E. Mora, SUBJECT: Re: A Last and Lethal …

To: Dr. Elanora Mora
From: Dr. Jasper Low
Subject: Re: A Last and Lethal Warning: Pink Slip Protocol Will Be Coming

Re: That Post Script

Noramora, my once darling,

As you are likely now well aware,

I don't want you to beg. I don't want you on bended knee.

I don't want anything except to feed this infernal, indefensible, insatiable need.

I am so close. So very nearly on the cusp of salvation.

Then, and only then, will I send you that blasted Anthrocillin+ - a ludicrously simple modification I could formulate in my sleep. (Were I ever able to sleep).

No longer yours,
No longer anyone's but that elusive and fleeting embrace of chemical virtuosity,

With regret,
-Jasper

(You understand. Do you not, darling?

From the very first test, from that first accursed step, every path - every infinitely random dice roll of emerging cosmic routes - was leading us to this same destiny.)

### Drafts

Drafts

Select a message:

#### [DRAFT] To: #SCAM, SUBJECT: VENTING, DO NOT SEND

To: #SCAM
From: Dr. Jasper Low
Subject: VENTING, DO NOT SEND

Pink Slip Protocol. Really, you hullheads went there? Never would I have thought you'd stoop so low - or more accurately be so moronic as to cut off your own noses to spite your faces. TRUE the project was delayed. But we all know I would have delivered more than adequate results eventually, once I'd ascended to the highest peak of my genius.

We were less than months away.

Not that I'd expect a peabrained layman to understand.

Nora is wasted on you lot. I am wasted on you lot.

AND MIGHT I JUST ADD - though I might've invited you to do your worst - YOU DID TRY YOUR BEST BUT I AM STILL ALIVE.

Nevertheless, I do go on. And I never, ever forget.

Payback will be swift, oh yes.

I scarcely think you'll see it coming.

Just as soon as I perfect my formula... and can focus on other matters. Then... then you will rue the day you Pink Slipped the great Jasper Low!

Buffoons.

Eternally misunderstood and under-valued,

And still misappropriating your precious company resources,

The employee (formerly so) known as,

Dr. Jasper Low

## Receptionist's Terminal

**Location**: This terminal is located at the entrance of the facility.

Olympus Orbital Pharmaceutical Station

# Property of Auntie Cleo

Terminal Access

Welcome, K. MAURENE

#### Day 001 - 110

As per my required duties, I am keeping a visitor's log.
-K

Day 001: No visitors.
Day 002: No visitors.
Day 003: No visitors.

...

Day 061: Sometimes we experience long power outages. Sitting in the dark, listening to the storm beat at the walls, I've got a lot of time to think. It begs to be let in. While I would pay to be let out.

...

Day 108: No visitors.
Day 109: Still no visitors.

#### Day 111 - 150

Day 115: Why're there a bunch of tail-less sprats running about? This facility don't have a sprat-catcher on the roster. Maybe I should file a request with acquisitions for one. Teacup canids are famed for their ability to hunt sprats, after all. And for keeping people company.
Day 116: No visitors.
Day 117: No visitors. Can't finish my game of solitaire. Someone stole a handful of cards from the deck.
Day 118: Desk unmanned. Unsuccessfully hunted for the missing cards.

#### Day 151 - 250

Day 157: Canid request was denied.
Day 158: We've run out of Caffenoid. Our first re-stocking shipment isn't set to arrive until the new "fiscal year." I guess that delivery will mark the facility's first visitors. Now, there's something to look forward to.
Day 159: Did some digging in the system records. It turns out our supplies are set to be delivered by... get this... a crew of automechanicals.

...

Day 182: Thought I heard knocking on the front door, but it turned out to be just some thunder. Always thunder. Funny how it can sound like so many different things. A boom, a crack, a snap, knocking, laughing. Screams.

#### Day 251 - PRESENT

Day 277: I've started venturing outside. At first, I worried something fierce about all the lightning strikes - sometimes the Electromechanical Turbine goes on the fritz without warning. But I'm out of cards and out of Caffenoid, and there's not much else to do.

...

Day 301: Turns out I no longer need to feel safe. What I need is to feel alive. Outside, the wind howls like a raging god and the rain stabs into my throat like a thousand tiny frozen needles. And in that pain, well, I feel so very alive.

...

Day 322: My many and varied attempts to trigger an on-site inspection from the Special Committee for Auditing and Management have failed.

...

Day 353: Sometimes when I look over the ledge, I think about what it would feel like - how easy it'd be - to simply tip forward. To plummet, with all those clouds kissing my face. To fall away from the storm. To smile. Then break.