Takiyama Kotoko

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tw: abuse, mental illness, personality disorder

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 Personality

On the exterior, or more on stage and in the spotlight, Shiro seems like a lively and bubbly teenager. She’s always smiling and doing positive things for her fans. But there are two sides of the coin for Shiro. Her outer appearance and public image, and her true personality. While the public Shiro is happy-go-lucky and sweet, the real Shiro is bitter and selfish. When she’s around people for too long her popstar shell begins to crack and the real girl comes out. She’s the definition of a diva. Selfish, lazy, demanding, and never pleased. She’s cruel and blunt and has a short temper along with low tolerance for stupidity.

Kotoko has bipolar depression and borderline personality disorder. While her two main personalities are polar opposites, she was only diagnosed as borderline due to the severe PTSD she suffers from as a result of an abusive childhood. The stress and pressure of such a life could cause even the healthiest minds to crumble, but for Kotoko it serves as a breeding ground for her rage. A rock-hard shell was formed around her heart and she keeps her past and secrets buried deep inside. This shell has taken the name Shiro as her own.

Along with her already-weak mental state, Shiro is a narcissist. She considers herself a king among men, a prodigy and gift to the world, a superior being. She’s climbed mountains higher than anyone could imagine and stands proudly at the top. Although she is extremely proud, one of her personalities has a tendency to shine through under certain circumstances. It is a rare side of her, but if brought about a seemingly younger version of Kotoko is projected. She’s gentle and afraid.

This Kotoko, the real Kotoko, is terrified of men and is easy to startle or torment. However, in a state of high stress (such as trapped in a killing game) her personalities may fluctuate.

Shiro has main control over the body. Kotoko was washed away long ago. They fluctuated back and forth for a while but Shiro was able to take full control after killing a fellow trainee. At this point in time this stronger personality didn’t have a name, but they shared the same pain, memories, and experiences as Kotoko.

## Biography

**「 Public Biography 」**

She was only five when Kotoko decided she wanted to be famous. She grew up in a lower-middle class family with her mother, father, and little brother in a small town named Kawagoe.  At the ripe age of nine she was admitted into training where she learned to dance, sing, and act alongside other hopefuls around her age. She was determined and passionate about music and entertaining, she couldn’t think of anything else she wanted to do with her life. She was desperate to become famous and even more desperate to leave her town. By the time she was fourteen years old, Kotoko, now “Shiro”, had moved on from being a trainee and was travelling the world and performing for adoring fans as a signed artist. She’s young and spunky as well as beautiful and talented. A brilliant role model for young girls everywhere, Shiro is taking the world by storm

**「 Full Biography 」**

She wasn’t a happy child, and was never truly grateful for the things she had.  Her father and mother worked hard to earn her love, but it was obvious from a young age that their dear Kotoko would be a difficult child. Her parents grew up in the dark times after the calamity and promised to give their children everything they couldn’t have.They gave her and her brother shelter, food, and clothes, but she wanted more.

A small town outside of Tokyo wasn’t enough for her. Kawagoe was far from the five-star lifestyle she thought she deserved. She was teased for being “half-Japanese.” Other kids made fun of her for having a Korean mother and Japanese father. In such a small town, rumors and stories spread like wildfire. She wanted to be famous. She wanted to be remembered and adored. She wanted to be a star. Her one saving grace that made her look forward to the next day was her training. Getting to and from her lessons required a 57 minute commute time to Tokyo, but it was all worth it. She loved dancing and singing, and it got her away from her family which was an added bonus.

While her mother was ignorant and sweet to her children, Kotoko’s father was a bitter drunk with an insatiable desire for causing trouble. Due to the stress of the Calamity and old age setting in, her mother and father had grown apart by the time their son was born. He began drinking more and her mother gave him space-- more like ignoring his existence to be more accurate. But because of her choice to be ignorant, it left Kotoko to well in the pain that he caused. He was a lonely man, and she was Daddy’s little princess. Mixed with drinking and a sadistic tendency, Kotoko was tormented and abused. She knew it was wrong. Daddies weren’t supposed to do things like that. Her mother refused to acknowledge her suffering and it only fueled the young girl’s hatred towards her parents.

After two long years of lessons, working herself to the bone for her dream, she was accepted into a famous entertainment corporation in Tokyo. Desperation Entertainment was the young girl’s savior and she soon found the homely comfort that she had never felt back in Kawagoe. Her mentor and the CEO of the company became a father-figure in her life; something she never truly felt she had. Kotoko was a prodigy after all, and he saw money signs and power in her growing potential. Though his favouritism with the young girl was obvious, protocol had to be enforced and the trainee was placed into a house in Tokyo alongside eight other hopeful trainees. Some were around her age (nine at the time), and some older.

As Kotoko grew older and hit puberty, her relationship with the CEO became stronger. However she noticed a big change. She was beginning to notice repeating behaviors in him that she once saw in her Father. She seeked even more solace in her school and training and was desperate to escape. She could finally break out of her shitty life and make herself famous.

Kotoko was always a loner and since she suffered from abuse and internal and external pain from authority figures in her life, friends were never a factor. Because of the situations, she grew bitter and jealous and her emotions towards others formed a ice cold shell around her heart. She despised everyone in her house. The other girls seemed fake and cruel. Her mentor was sick and powerful. Her father was sadistic and waiting for her to come crawling back. They would do anything in order to achieve their goals, and she realized was the same way.

And it paid off. Suffering in silence worked, and Kotoko -- now dubbed the stage name Shiro -- was starting on the path toward fame. She began recording songs and the world seemed to fall in love with her overnight. She was an instant sensation and it was finally, finally, her time to shine.

In her studies, she learned about wars and genocides and it intrigued her immensely. In her eyes, these incidents didn’t clean enough idiots from the world. Not enough people suffered as much as they should have; Not enough people felt true despair. Evil people still roam the Earth, oozing their filth and agony around. It wasn’t fair that she had to deal with the despair on her shoulders. They should be chained down and drowned in despair. Bury them in darkness and suffocate them with hopelessness in the same ways they did to her. Shiro truly believes that everyone else is pathetic and stupid and that she is a superior being; a genius and prodigy, if you will. She waded through a sea of pain and darkness and a wave of others trying to pull her down. While everyone tried to break her, the little prodigy came out on top. A child of the Gods, destined to gain the power she deserves.

But the despair inside her was overbearing. She was no longer the innocent child, determined to make her dreams come true. Shiro was now a sadistic narcissist intent on destroying the world and making everyone pay for her pain. No one ever helped her. No one stopped what was happening to her. And no one.. NO ONE will be able to help the ones she chose.

An unbelievable opportunity arose. A brilliant idea. A chance to have fun and inflict despair upon others. She’ll collect a group of unsuspecting children and push them to their limits. Make them feel hopeless and suffer. She wants them to turn against each other. Will they do whatever it takes to win? Whatever it takes to achieve their goals? Its only human nature. Kill or be killed. When placed under extreme pressure, along with some helpful motives, how long can each of them last before they crack and experience the true feeling of despair.

## Appearance

Kotoko’s default outfit is her most popular stage costume. It consists of a pink, purple, and white jumpsuit-like dress that is open in the front. Instead of revealing bare skin, she wears a hot pink and black striped bandeau. On both arms are purple and black arm-warmers that begin right above her elbow and extend to her knuckles. As you move down, she wears thigh-high socks with an alternating hot pink and black striping to match her top. Her boots are purple and pink, matching her dress, a

nd stop at her mid-calf. Small hearts can be found throughout her outfits, such as on her hips, boots, hair, and even the zipper handle on the front of her dress.

Her most notable feature, and the meaning behind her stage name “Shiro,” is her silver-white hair. Like freshly fallen snow, her hair is soft and white. It is most often seen pulled up into a high ponytail with two strands remaining in front. When not pulled up, the girl’s hair reaches down to her knees.

Her eyes are a bright violet colour that seems to compliment her outfit’s colours. With oval irises and an oval ring inside it, her eyes are beautiful which the teenager enhances with dark eyeliner and mascara. Underneath her left eye, she wears a small purple rhinestone.

## MonoMachine Items

1. **Love**; *MP3 Player:*  This tiny, green music player may not look like much, but it’s a little power machine. Play any song you want at any time, or wear it to look fashionable.
2. **Like**; *Blue Sucker*: A small lollipop with a bright blue bulb. It’s raspberry flavour will linger for hours, as will the sickly blue stain it will leave on your tongue.
3. **Dislike**; *A Carrot*; A basic carrot, orange with a green tuft at the tip. Good for eyesight and a great snack for bunnies.
4. **Hate**;  *Kawagoe Postcard:* A small postcard with an image of the main shrine in Kawagoe. It reads, “ようこそ! 一服の清涼剤。  (Welcome! Take a breath of fresh air.)”