Joseph Churchill

*"Joseph Churchill, one of the funniest Englishmen in television history, and definitely an Italia purist. He hates cyclists with the truest pride, but without a doubt, he will always despise little Miss Falkenberg more than anyone in the world. He's definitely the dry and sarcastic type, and definitely the life of the party. Being one of the three petrolheads of the legendary Final Drive definitely gives him utmost credibility in the motoring world."*
*"What could possibly go wrong?" - Joseph Churchill*
**Joseph Churchill** is an OC created by The Cherrybomber. He is one of the three English petrolheads who host the popular British motoring TV programme, "*Final Drive*". He maintains a dry wit for show and the entertainment of his fans, though he openly considers himself as being "a generally unfunny bloke."

Though he thinks this of himself, he is actually quite an inspiring person, who thinks Gretchen Falkenberg is brainwashing young potential car enthusiasts to believe that cars are evil, which is a lie. He also subscribes to the mindset that cars are an extension of ourselves to be the truest form of motoring, along with Cutter's philosophy that MotorStorm is about feeling free as we scream to God and the dirt that we are alive and well.

During the Fendrana MotorStorm Festival, he interviewed several characters in and around the Festival, including Autumn Zephyra, The Legend, Jerry The Repoman, Proteus, Lucky, Memphis Red, and Code Orange while also mocking Gretchen Falkenberg to her face, which made *Final Drive*'s ratings skyrocket.

However, though *Final Drive*'s ratings went up, Churchill was sued by Gretchen's parents. However, the court case was dismissed, and Mr. Churchill won the lawsuit.

## Quotes

### Pandrosia

* *"Here we are; the legendary MotorStorm Festival, on the island of Pandrosia off the French coast. It was not easy, as it took extensive planning on part of the MotorStorm Race Authority, or the M.R.A., along with input from various MotorStormers aboard the Carrier."*
* *"So, Mash, how does it feel to be at the head of the Festival since the passing of Robert "Big Dog" Duggan back in 2011?"* - Interviewing Mash
* *"Seriously, Cromey old boy, you are an absolute nuisance with that bothersome protest group of yours."* - to Giles Cromey

### Fendrana

* *"This place is as much of an uninhabitable wasteland as it gets, of course, the second set of lungs of the world, besides the Amazons. As Miss Falkenberg and her goons protest, our favorite renegades are now using diesel tractors, which really riles them up easily."*
* *"They're not just cars, they're a lifestyle. As for you, Falkenberg, get your bloody head out of your arse, you sheltered little brat. We're all gonna die someday, and there's nothing you can do about it."* - Joseph Churchill insulting Gretchen Falkenberg during the Final Drive MotorStorm sub-series.
* *"Here we are at The Bog. It's a cluster%\*$# to race in, where even Monarch's finest off-road vehicles struggle to get through, as it's compact and full of dense mud."*
* *"Look at this disaster, the Deluge. It's so gutted to the point where the Festival organizers won't let anything lighter than a Mud Plugger race here, as it's so cocked up full of water."*
* *"So, Proteus, I hear that you're a professional racing driver who got bored with all that regulated nonsense and decided to become a 'Stormer. I reckon that applying your trackside experience into the festival's racing events gives you an edge."* - Interviewing Proteus

### North American Dream Pack - Lone Peak

* *"Here we are, at Lone Peak. Our intrepid off-road non-conformist renegades are now holding MotorStorm here as part of the North American Dream Tour, to tear things up as they always do. However, this would give that spoiled brat, Gretchen Falkenberg, and her goons more ammo for their protests, but what the heck?"*
* *"Highway 244, now this is a jolly good place for racing with all those asphalt-based vehicle classes, this is."*

### North American Dream Pack - Monument Valley

* *"Welcome to Monument Valley, in the Arizona-Utah border. It is here that the very first MotorStorm Festival was held, way back in 2006. All things had to start somewhere, right?"*
* *"RainGod Mesa. It was here on this track that one of the Festival's founding fathers, one Jesse "Hangnail" Johnson, had bought the farm. The brakes on his vehicle failed, and the unfortunate bloke, quite literally, lost his head! Ouch! They say that his spirit would sometimes appear, driving a ghostly glowing Springbok Kalahari, which was the truck he drove in that 2006 Festival."*
* *"Tenderloin Canyon is a new track here in Monument Valley, combining the Tenderizer with Dead Man's Canyon for a level of madness and treachery that even MotorStorm's co-founders would have been **hard-pressed** to try and top. This track, as it so happens, has been designed by one of those long-timers who have been 'Storming it up since two-thousand and six."*

### North American Dream Pack - The Island

* *"Everyone's favourite off-roading rogues have held MotorStorm here previously on this island paradise years ago, and now, they'll do it again."*
* *"Were it not for the 'Stormers, this would have been a lovely vacation resort, but who bloody cares? It's a perfect place for anything, really, especially no-holds-barred off-roading."*
* *"It was said before that Ms. Austin wishes to be buried here on this island upon her death."*
* *"You might find this very shocking, but they actually held race events in the dangerous volcanic areas of the island back in 2008, and they'll be racing in those parts once more. Hope they brought a lot, and I do mean **A LOT**, of ice water!"*

### North American Dream Pack - The City

* *"Welcome to a certain city in California, where they held a most pivotal MotorStorm Festival back in 2011. It was here that Big Dog went out in a blaze of glory. It was also where Mash had his first MotorStorm, afterwards being named the new head of the Festival after Big Dog died."*
* *"It was during the 2011 Festival that ex-Brotherhood member Muerte had the nerve--no--the audacity, to sabotage Dice's car, which resulted in the latter's death. Even though ramming and smashing into each other during a race is allowed, sabotaging someone else's car is quite frowned upon."*
* *"Oh, dear. It appears that Muerte has returned, having bided his time here for a long-awaited rematch with Tyler, and he is in it, to win it."*
* *"It all comes down to this; Tyler against Muerte in a fateful one-on-one race through the abandoned city. We can only hope for Tyler to win this one, because it wouldn't be MotorStorm without him."*
* *"**BLOODY HELL!!!** Please tell me you got that on camera!!"* - To a cameraman upon seeing Muerte's true face

## Trivia

* He is inspired by Jeremy Clarkson, one of the three hosts of *Top Gear*.
* He gets his surname from Winston Churchill, who was the Prime Minister of Great Britain during WWII.