MarioTehPlumber

FROM THEIR ASS, AS IF THEY JUST GOT DONE FUCKIN A SIX FOOT QUILLS OF SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

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John Burris, known by his YouTube handle **MarioTehPlumber**, is a Canadian YouTuber who is known for his profanity laden rants on the modern Sonic The Hedgehog games, and later on modern Nintendo games. He was featured on Feeding The Trolls four times, and was retired in 2013 due to Weasel finding him repetitive.

MTP is well known for his obnoxious, screaming, profanity infested rant videos on the design of the modern Sonic The Hedgehog, which he described as "Hentai Shit with quills longer than a fucking dick, and he's got fuckin six DICKS on his head". He likes to say that the most important element of any game is the character design, and professes that the classic Sonic games and Mario and Zelda are the only good games and "that every other game in the FUCKEN world rips off Sonic, Mario and Zelda." All while insulting his own viewers and attacking anybody who criticizes or disagrees with him.

His early videos were noted for their extremely low production values, with the audio being so distorted due to the cheap microphone quality (often exacerbated due to his yelling) that it was often hard to tell what was being said. He was known to call anyone who even so much as defended the modern design of Sonic The Hedgehog "Modern Morans", which Weasel initially took to be a mispronunciation of "morons", but him intentionally typing MORANS out for his account MTPMoranGuides showed that it was an intentional spelling.

His later videos shifted focus from the modern design of Sonic The Hedgehog to modern Nintendo games in general, although he never stopped ranting on modern Sonic. He became more known to the wider internet community in 2015 when he spent $35,000 on Rosalina Amiibos so nobody else could buy them, stating that Rosalina was "hentai shit" that should not exist. He also wanted to buy a bunch of Amiibo figures of Lucina, Palutena, Robin, and Zero Suit Samus because he hates those characters too and wanted them so that their actual fans couldn't have those too.

## First Video - The Spyro 3 "Review"

His first appearance on Feeding The Trolls was in the early days, when CuteFuzzyWeasel commentated on his "review" of Spyro 3. At first, Weasel observed the video's intro and, while dancing at first, told MarioTehPlumber "an AVGN, you are not..." The video went downhill from there. Weasel was quick to point out MTP's foul mouth, awful audio quality and nonsense commentary. He later pointed out the background music was too loud (not that it mattered, considering the distorted microphone audio). Later, Weasel became curious of where MarioTehPlumber actually was, theorizing it to be his room. Then, Weasel called MTP out on his sudden use of the N-word, violently smashing the game with a hammer, and mispronouncing "Morons." As MarioTehPlumber ended the video with an ear-piercing, inhuman scream of anger, CuteFuzzyWeasel concluded his own with determining John Burris had a mental problem.

## Second Video: You All Asked For This

Later in the year, MarioTehPlumber released "a warning to haters," in which he asked them ***"NICELY"*** to take down videos made on him or get "flagged so far up the ass." CuteFuzzyWeasel noticed this, and refused to let it slide. So he did another Feeding The Trolls commentary on Mariotehplumber's "You All Asked For This" follow-up video.

The video started with MarioTehPlumber immediately launching into another profanity-peppered rant, with ear-shredding audio quality. Weasel countered with some witty comebacks. Suddenly, MarioTehPlumber unleashed a horrifyingly loud, non-human scream, which a scared Weasel compared to killing a pig. Then, he continued his screaming rant, full of horrible profanity and distorted audio quality. After another pig-killing scream, MarioTehPlumber revealed he was allegedly being added by his haters on Skype "trying to see him ***BLOW UP!***" He then proceeded to state that he didn't want videos on him anymore, which was mocked by Weasel. After a bit of uncomfortable laughter, MarioTehPlumber threatened to block everyone on his "block list," which was also mocked. MarioTehPlumber later said he was still him and he always be him, loudly stating his aforementioned views on every game ripping off Mario and Zelda and calling everyone who didn't respect Mario "fucking **idiots."** Weasel countered again by calling MTP an idiot for disregarding a game because of the year it came out. MarioTehPlumber also suddenly stated that "Sonic rips off... ***Every. Single. Fucking Mario game out there!"*** which confused Weasel enormously, as it came from someone claiming to be the #1 Sonic Fan. MarioTehPlumber once again unleashed the full force of his screaming voice in another incoherent rant, in which his microphone changed its pan level inexplicably. He then called out a user who told him to "get a life," saying that he did have a life, but "didn't use it as a comeback like every other [unintelligible] [unintelligible] pussy-ass out there!" As MarioTehPlumber exploded into the loudest, most profane tirade thus far, CuteFuzzyWeasel began comparing him to Mel Gibson from the audio of the notorious phone call with his girlfriend, using that audio as comparison.

MarioTehPlumber ended his video with one last R-rated insult to his haters. CuteFuzzyWeasel stated the video was fun. However, that wasn't the end...

## Third Video: MTPMoranGuides Preview

In February of 2013, CuteFuzzyWeasel came back to do John Burris again. In the start of this video, he pointed out that the MarioTehPlumber channel had actually been terminated. However, he had already made a new channel: MTPMoranGuides. The video Weasel would cover was a preview of the "Top 5 Reasons To Know If You're A Modern Moran" video.

The video began with an audio message from MarioTehPlumber himself. He spoke in sulking, somber tone as he explained his termination. He thought little of it, saying it was "just a shitty day." Then, quite surprisingly, he profoundly said that the end of a journey was a start of a new one. That impressed Weasel immensely, who was quite surprised that it came from someone who usually deals with his problems by screaming in rageful tirades and tantrums. MarioTehPlumber than went even further, saying something God taught him was to "always have faith in yourself and strive to better." Weasel was amazed, and applaudingly said he was looking forward to watching this new channel.

And so, MarioTehPlumber began his Top 5 Reasons preview video. Instantly, the video took a strange turn. With a suddenly loud "Number FIVE!" came a still image of an absolutely atrocious Microsoft Paint picture of an abomination that slightly resembled Sonic the Hedgehog. Suddenly, Weasel was not so excited anymore, seeing the future of MarioTehPlumber to be more creepy. Then, another voice clip was heard: "Your Sonic game collection only contains... Modern Games!" Weasel replied that he never had a Sonic game, and presumed that made him an even greater Modern Moran, citing his previous video game experience.

Suddenly, Weasel encountered something that left him completely shocked and baffled: video footage of John "MarioTehPlumber" Burris in the flesh, on his bed and surrounded by Sonic games. He immediately tried to determine how old this man was, judging him to be anywhere from 17 to his mid-20s, before calling him out on his throwing games around "like some child." But the surprises didn't stop there, as Weasel quickly pointed out a horrid noise the background. He later realized it was actually a recording of MarioTehPlumber singing abysmally off-key with atrocious lyrics. It was so poor, that Weasel declared it even worse than Jared Milton's "Super Cool" song.

And then, the video preview stopped. But the saga wasn't yet done, as CuteFuzzyWeasel would later come back with Nassuman to do all five Reasons.

## Final Video: Top 5 Reasons to know if you're a Modern Moran

After being shocked by the Microsoft Paint abomination, the two began with the aforementioned Reason Number Five, Surprised at first by the awful music, Nassuman entered his NassuVoid and began to go through each video game that MarioTehPlumber mentions, somewhat passing on some, while disagreeing on others.

After going back to Weasel, the duo went to Reason Number Four, but not before encountering another awful Sonic drawing. Number Four was "Waking up one day and deciding to run like Sonic." With quick thinking, Weasel and Nassuman launch into acapella improvised music to avoid copyright from the video's audio, all while MarioTehPlumber runs with his arms out like a maniac.

Reason Number Three was "Showing your modern Sonic toy collection." The first few seconds showed MarioTehPlumber talking in a mocking nasal voice to a decapitated Sonic figure, another Sonic figure in a container, and severed toy limbs. Both Nassuman and Weasel were horrified. Weasel is once again unable to determine if what MTP was saying was an act or the truth.

Reason Number Two, accompanied by another horrific image, was "You have the urge to listen to music, and all you have on your playlist is modern Sonic game songs." The video was an audio-only act of MarioTehPlumber giving another awful mocking voice, and then dancing on his bed. Weasel is just plain confused. The reason ends with MarioTehPlumber getting struck by his ceiling fan.

Finally, Reason Number "ONNNNNNNEEEE" appears with the worst image of them all: "Wishing you could fuck some Quills or... Quill-Fucking." It then cuts to the Modern Sonic in an idle animation. Then, MarioTehPlumber violates everyone's decency once again by making clapping noises to simulate masturbation. Nassuman freaks out, saying "this is a family show!" Weasel disagrees, asking him if he ever saw the show, and allowed MarioTehPlumber to finish (no pun intended).

The video ended at last with MarioTehPlumber giving one last message in person. But because of the awful wind noise, the message was unintelligible, in true MarioTehPlumber fashion. MarioTehPlumber then walks away, to the tune of Weasel and Nassuman giving another copyright-free acapella. The two YouTubers decide to end their own video a similar fashion.

## Aftermath

The fifth feeding was the end of MarioTehPlumber in all his forms on Feeding the Trolls. Weasel retired the troll after 2013 due to the fact that his videos just ended up speaking for themselves and that Weasel did not need to comment on them any more.

MarioTehPlumber eventually got his own channel back, and continued his old troll ways. However, he did a video "Thank You Everyone" in which he revealed his troll act. Weasel himself commented on it, saying it was sad to see him go and that he was pretty funny. MarioTehPlumber replied solemnly, saying he was "glad you actually enjoyed what I had to offer and wasn't just a hater trying to make me feel bad."

His last video was in 2019, and his last "review" was in 2018. He had become somewhat infamous again. This time, it was among the *Super Smash Bros. Ultimate* community for being a suspect in the 2018 "Grinch Leak" hoax, though there isn't any actual confirmation that he was the culprit. As of 2022, he's yet to upload any content.