Support Box: S02E03

The Trip is the third episode of Support Box Season Two and the tenth episode overall. The episode is about Support Box and Question Box's misadventures with a drug user.

Support Box and Question Box get into mishaps with a recreational drug user.

## The Episode

*HELLO EVERYONE! WELCOME TO SUPPORT BOX, THE SHOW WHERE WE TALK ABOUT SUPPORT BOX!*

*HOW ARE YOU DOING SUPPORT BOX*

**IM GREAT QUESTION BOX**

*TODAYS TOPIC IS DRUGS*

**GOD DAMMIT I WOULDN'T HAVE SHOWED UP IF I KNEW WE WERE DOING A PSA EPISODE**

*DON'T WORRY BOSS WERE JUST GONNA BE HAVING A ROUND TABLE DISCUSSION WITH THE DRUG COMMUNITY*

*THE MAN WITH THE BLURRED FACE IS A DRUG DEALER WERE GONNA CALL CODY DEEN*

Haha you're so funny Question Box. It's because Codeine is a drug hahaha. And I would hardly call this a

*AND SITTING WITH US SEARCHING THROUGH THE COUCH FOR LOOSE CHANGE IS LOCAL JUNKIE SLUMDOG!*

HEY MAN YOU RUN A CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED TALK SHOW AND THERES NOT A SINGLE FREAKING COIN IN THIS COUCH

WHAT KINDA CHEAPO GUESTS DO YOU HAVE RUNNING AROUND HERE?!

*THE KIND THAT DON'T KEEP LOOSE CHANGE IN THEIR POCKETS! FIRST QUESTION! WHATS THE MOST POWERFUL AND EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE YOUVE HAD WITH DRUGS*

Well there was this one time where I had to face the moral dilemma of hooking up a teen with their first taste of crack co--

ONE TIME I WAS BAKED ON MARIJUANA WE’RE TALKING SO HIGH I WOULD NEED A PLANE TICKET AND A PASSPORT TO COME BACK DOWN WHEN I SAW THIS SMOKING HOT CHICK STANDING IN THE CORNER. SO I WENT TO FLIRT WITH HER AND THEN SOME GUY SHOVED TRASH INTO HER MOUTH SO I TRIED TO FIGHT HIM AND GOT BEAT UP

TURNS OUT I HAD SPENT THE LAST 10 MINUTES TALKING TO A TRASH CAN HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

How the hell is that an emotional story?!

I REALLY THOUGHT THAT TRASH BIN WAS GONNA BE THE ONE!

You both smell the same, that's for sure.

SHUT UP MAN LEAST MY STORY IS BETTER THAN YOURS! OH, 'WA WA WA HARDEST 20 BUCKS I EVER EARNED'

(the studio audience laughs)

...I thought this was supposed to be a roundtable discussion about drugs, the people that deal them and the lives it affects, not standup comedy with a druggie! Hell, this man can barely stand!

BARELY?! I'LL SHOW YOU

(slumdog tries to get off the couch and stand but he falls down immediately)

SEE?! I CAN'T STAND PERIOD!

(the studio audience laughs even more)

**WOW YOURE HILARIOUS SLUMDOG**

**QUESTION BOX WHY DONT WE JUST HAVE THE EPISODE ONLY ABOUT SLUMDOG**

**FUCK CODY DEEN**

...I’m standing right here, y’know...

**THANKS FOR REMINDING US**

*so should we tell everyone his real identity or what?*

**we signed that agreement remember, we can’t tell anyone**

*leave it to me*

*HEY GUYS LOOK ITS A PIECE OF PAPER THAT HAS CODY DEENS NAME ON IT*

*OOPS I DROPPED THE PAPER ON THE FLOOR*

*OOPS I KICKED IT INTO THE CROWD*

*I SURE HOPE NOBODY IN THE AUDIENCE CAN READ*

HEY EVERYONE THIS GUYS NAME IS MARION DUNG

Shit.

(marion tries to run away but the security guards dogpile him)

**GET THIS PEON OUTTA HERE GUARDS**

**THIS SHOW DOESNT ENDORSE CRIMINAL SCUM, TODAY OR ANY DAY**

*so, slumdog! tell us about yourself!*

well my name is slum to the diggity dog, and ive been doing drugs since i was a kid. my first drug was benadryl, i had an allergic reaction to peanuts

**SECOND DRUG?**

antibiotic, i had an infection or something

**OKAY FIRST 'DRUG' DRUG? Y'KNOW, WEED, ALCOHOL, NOSE CANDY, ZAMBONI PONY?**

NONE OF THE ABOVE! IT WAS THIS LITTLE DITTY I HAVE HERE!

(slumdog pulls out a blunt filled with pencil shavings)

**SLUMDOG WHAT IN GODS NAME IS THAT**

I CALL IT...THE SCHOOL SHOOTER. CAUSE ITS GONNA SHOOT THROUGH YOUR BODY AND MAKE YOU FEEL REEEEEEEAL GOOD. ALSO I MADE IT IN CLASS

(slumdog lights the blunt up)

YOU GUYS WANT IN ON THIS?

**I DONT KNOW MAN, THAT LOOKS LIKE IT'LL KILL YOU...QUESTION BOX TRY SLUMDOGS CONCOCTION**

*BUT YOU JUST SAID IT'LL KILL YOU!*

**QUESTION CRACK YOU NEARLY HAD ME PUT IN JAIL FOR MURDER, THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS SMOKE THIS STRANGE MANS PENCIL GANJA**

*FINE...*

(slumdog takes a hit of the joint and immediately beings coughing)

HUACK HUACK HUACK YUP THAT THE GOOD SHIT HUACK HUACK

(he offers the blunt to question box, who reluctantly takes a hit. he also immediately beings coughing)

*ACK ACK ACK THATS AWFUL ACK ACK ACK I CAN FEEL MY BRAIN CELLS DYING!*

YEAH THATS HOW YOU KNOW ITS WORKIN'! LET YOUR MIND RELAX, MAAAAAN!!

(question box topples to the ground, coughing and hacking)

*we'll ACK ACK ACK be right back after these messages! ACK ACK*

(the audience cheers as the show goes on its break)

**THE PEOPLE ARE LOVING YOU, SLUMDOG!**

*yeah they're really loving your antics, like poisoning me*

**QUIT BEING SUCH A SQUARE QUESTION CROCK!! WHAT ARE YOU, A NARC OR SOMETHING??**

(a man in a black suit approach the boxes. he hands a phone in his hand to Question Box)

The board of directors would like to talk with you two.

*OH BOY, BOSS! LOOKS LIKE WE'RE DOING SO GOOD THAT THE OTHER BOSSES TOOK NOTICE!*

**EXACTLY! DADDY NEEDS ANOTHER BONUS!**

(question box put the phone on speaker)

Support Box, Question Box, what the fuckshit are you two doing?!

*g-getting the big ratings, of course!*

Fuck the ratings, you two idiots brought a drug addict on live television?! The feds are gonna have a field day with this one!

**BUT THE RATINGS! THE PEOPLE LOVE THAT DRUG ADDICT! HE'S OUR TICKET TO THE GOOD LIFE!**

If you don't get rid of this junkie, the cops are gonna swarm in and arrest both of you! Get rid of him!

*alright, we'll ask him to leave!*

Not enough, Question Box...kill him.

(the phone went dead)

*you heard the man, boss...we have to take out slumdog*

**BUT HES OUR MAN! YOU DONT JUST GUN DOWN YOUR MAN**

(slumdog walks up to them with three other dirty looking men)

HEY GUYS, I CALLED UP SOME OF MY OTHER FRIENDS! MEET SNIFF, SNORT, AND SMOKE!

(the audience cheers for the newcomers, who look around bewildered)

so what's this i hear about having to take me out?

**OH SHIT UHHHH QUESTION BOX YOU HEARD THE MAN, EXPLAIN!**

*UHHH WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU OUT....ON AN ALL EXPENSE PAID TRIP...WITH THE MOST EXPENSIVE DESIGNER DRUGS MONEY CAN BUY!*

(the audience gasps in surprise)

**QUESTION BOX WHAT THE FUCK WE DONT HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY i mean we do BUT WERE NOT SPENDING OUR BUDGET ON THAT**

*look boss, if we give him a bunch of drugs, he'll OD and we'll be cleared from getting arrested!*

**we're going to prevent getting arrested for drugs...by committing a murder?**

**QUESTION BOX YOU'RE A GENIUS! IM GONNA GO GET THE DRUGS, YOU KEEP HIM HERE!**

(question box runs off the set)

*so guys, what do you think of that? you ever have designer drugs before?*

(sniff giggles uncontrollably)

i like painting my drugs yellow so it looks like im snorting cheese :)!!!!

(the audience cheers for the junkie)

*wait how the hell is he putting a smiley face in his words?*

(slumdog laughs)

when you've taken enough drugs, you can do anything, question box. anything...

*what?*

what?

*...anyways...HOW DID YOU FOUR MEET?*

we all went to the same summer camp together! yup, we went to this special summer camp in the desert!

yeah! we all got pricked with these needles over and over again :D!

*SERIOUSLY, HOW IS HE DOING THAT, PEOPLE?!*

(snort smelled his armpit and cringed)

we got needles everywhere, question box! we were feeling weird, but we kept getting needles! then we got tired of those needles so we left the summer camp to get some new drugs!

(slumdog put a hand on question box's shoulder)

we just wanna thank you, man. we got a place to hang out with some cool peeps!

(question box looks away)

yeah...no problem, slumdog...

(support box returns to the set, with drugs)

**ALRIGHT BOYS, I GOT EVERY COLOR OF THE RAINBOW HERE! EVERY SHAPE, SIZE, FASHION AND COLOR YOU CAN THINK OF**!

(smoke starts dancing in place)

ooh eben dem purble penis poppers!

**YOU BETCHA!! DRUG UP, DRUGGIES! TIME TO GET HIGH IN THE SKY!!**

(all four junkies pause)

WAIT SO YOURE SAYING THESE THINGS WILL GET US HIGH IN THE SKY?

liike to the moon :o??

**UHH YEAH SURE JUST TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN! question box how is he doing that??**

(the junkies take pills and joints from support box and start using them)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH BABY IM FEELIN GOOOOOD!!!

ALRIGHT EVERYBODY GET DOWN!

(suddenly, a S.W.A.T team of 6 officers breaks through the roof of the studio, dropping in on wires. two of them aim their guns at support box and question box)

ON YOUR KNEES

H**OLY SHIT PLEASE DONT KILL ME MR. OFFICER I DONT EVEN HAVE KNEES!!!**

*OH THANK GOD YOU GOT HERE POLICE GUYS, WE WERE JUST DOING AN EPISODE ON DRUGS AND WANTED TO ASK YOU SOME--*

SAVE IT FOR THE JUDGE QUESTION BOX, YOURE UNDER ARREST FOR ASSISTING A DANGEROUS AND WANTED CRIMINAL

**WE WERE ASSISTIN THEM ALRIGHT, TO THEIR DEATHS!!!**

(the S.W.A.T team turned around, where the junkies lay on the ground, unmoving)

Hey, what do you know? They're all dead! Looks like we had our work cut out for us, boys!

*SEE? WE'RE ON YOUR SIDE!*

**YEAH WE CLEANED UP THE MESS, AND WE DID IT FOR FREE! CAN WE GO NOW?**

No can do. What you just saw was top secret. Nobody can know what just happened. Which means you two must die.

(as the swat team aims their weapons, they are all suddenly vaporised by laser beams fired at their backs. behind them, four multi-colored clouds of energy float where the junkies' bodies were)

**WHAT KIND OF FUCKING TRIPPY CRACKFUCK SHIT IS THIS?!**

it is time we properly introduced ourselves to you. we are cloud 4, a group of aliens caught by the government and sent to what you call area 51

*OHHH SO THAT WAS THE DESERT SUMMER CAMP*

your government experiement oinn us, trapping us in those fleshy cages. we needed enough drugs so we could free ourselves from those bodies and ascend back to cloudborea

**IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW, RIGHT QUESTION BOX?! I WAS DESTINED TO FREE THESE CLOUDFUCKERS!! NOW WHAT'S MY REWARD? MONEY? POWER?**

uhhh..close your eyes and we will grant you what your heart desires

**HAHAHAA FUCK YEAH I KNEW BEING A TALK SHOW HOST WOULD PAY OFF! I WANT YOU TO REVIVE LARRY KING SO YOU CAN KILL HIM AGAIN!! CHOP HIS HEAD OFF AND BRING IT TO ME!!**

(support box closes his eyes and the clouds float up and away. he opens his eyes)

**WAIT WHERE DID THEY GO??? QUESTION BOX THOSE CHEAPO CLOUD FUCKS TRICKED US!! FUCKING ALIENS THIS IS WHY WE NEED STRICTER BORDERS!!!**

(question box stares ahead blankly)

**QUESTION BOX? QUESTION BOX...QUESTION BOX...QUESTION BOX...**

(the world fades around question box. he wakes up in a hospital bed. support box is sitting next to him.)

**QUESTION CUCK WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED**

*boss...was gonna ask the same thing*

**YOU WASTED AN ENTIRE EPISODE THATS WHAT!! YOU TOOK ONE HIT OF THAT BLUNT OF SLUMDOGS AND COLLAPSED ONSTAGE**

*what about slumdog?*

**HE RAN OFF AFTER YOU OD'D! ANYWAY DID YOU HAVE SOME TRIPPY HALLUCINATION TRIP?**

y*eah boss it was crazy! the suits asked us to kill slumdog and we bought all these drugs and slumdog was an alien!*

**YEAH THAT SOUNDS COOL AND ALL! I NEED YOU TO WRITE ALL THAT DOWN, WE NEED TO PAD THE EPISODE WITH SOMETHING!**

*boss, i just woke up from a drug induced coma...*

**PERFECT! GET IT ALL DOWN BEFORE YOU FORGET IT**

(support box leaves the room and question box sighs. he reaches into his suit pocket for a pen, but comes up with a blunt)

when you've taken enough drugs, you can do anything, question box. anything...