Patty Hurts

Illustrated by Penflower Ink (Tom Fummo)

### Age

A lady doesn’t share her age, but also, Caitlin doesn’t want to think about it because rats don’t live very long

### Aliases

* Jade (mistakenly by Bovil Flaskforge)
* Maddy (while undercover)

## Roleplaying Characteristics

### Weapon of Choice

Machete, tailblade, tankard, and enchanted coins

## Associations

### Party Members

* Bovil Flaskforge (Commander)
* Astra Blep
* Janni Brightchild
* Zelf

### Known Relations

* Unnamed mother
* Unnamed father
* Unnamed aunt
* Chet Gerbilla (Former leader)
* Bruler (Ex-friend, now enemies)
* Aeyrin Starsinger (Rivals, gossip pals)
* Abraham & Nieven (Childhood friends)
* Castien Grefiel (Enemies)
* The Dentist (Allies)

### Affiliations

* Shadowend (Cadet)
	+ Janni Squad
* RAID (Former member)

## Appears In

### First Appearance

Ep 1 - Welcome to Shadowend

Patty Hurts is a player character created and portrayed by Caitlin Stayduhar. She is a ratfolk dandy ranger who fights for the people and has a nose for cheese (but it's not a rat thing). Patty was summoned to Shadowend by Bovil Flaskforge, along with Astra Blep, Janni Brightchild, and Zelf.

**General Spoiler Warning:** This page has been updated with information as of Ep 49 - My teammates are already gone. Anything after that, if any, is not on this page. **EDIT IN PROCESS! Sorry if the page looks bad during the revamp.**

## Description

Patty is a a beautiful, snowy white ratfolk. She's approximately four feet tall and weighs less than a hundred pounds. She has big pink ears, a lil pink nose, a pink tail, and pink feet. She has red eyes. Patty wears a pink beret, a pretty pink coat, and, most importantly, no pants. She always carries her giant machete and tailblade.

She wears a black beret for sneaking. When in RAID, she wore tailored army fatigues.

At the Marth by Marth dinner party, she uses her sleeves of many garments to wear an avant-garde designer look. It's a black Furmès top that's very sculptural with enormous shoulder pads. She wears her pink beret and attaches a black jewel broach to match the team's look.

On the train to Nan Tahrum, she uses her sleeves of many garments to dress up as a train conductor.

## Backstory

Should you trust the tabloids when it comes to Patty Hurts? No, they claim she's a werewolf and that's probably 89% not true, but we've also never seen her under a full moon, so make of that what you will.

Patty grew up in Anamnesis, the capitol of Errosia, with a silver spoon in her mouth. She is a socialite with friends all across Yrisol.

She grew in fame (or infamy, depending on whom you ask) when she was kidnapped by the Reskarus Anti-Imperialism Defenders (RAID). RAID was a guerilla group led by Chet Gerbilla that opposed the Errosian displacement of Reskarians. During her time with RAID, Patty committed some questionable acts that included blowing up buildings. After attempting to assassinate Dominus Peddledream, the president of the Errosian Resettlement Office (ERO), all the members of RAID were captured and sentenced to Bitterhold Dungeon except for Patty. Her parents paid off her trial and her mother claimed Patty had been brainwashed the entire time.

Patty cares about the working class and the fight against injustice, but sometimes has conflicting beliefs due to her own wealthy upbringing that she hasn't fully deconstructed.

## Pre-Shadowend Events

Patty joined RAID five or six years before the events of the podcast. In RAID, she extorted her parents for ransom money, which they used to tailor uniforms and decorate their HQ. Patty cared a lot about their mission to help the common man.

Two years into her time in RAID, Patty and Hemmifer Twistroot went to Newhaven's black market to pick up bombs from Bruler. They returned to RAID headquarters and prepared to bomb the Serenity Resort and Spa in Bigrim, Reskarus. Chet Gerbilla assigned Patty a squad of new and incompetent fighters: Plumpy, Tux, and Gabby. They somehow managed to complete their mission but Patty lost her entire squad in the process. Patty was greatly demoralized, especially after Chet revealed that RAID was just a stepping stone for him.

Soon after, everyone in RAID was sentenced to Bitterhold Dungeon for attempting to assassinate Dominus Peddledream, except for Patty. Her parents used their money and power to reassign her case to Judge Wynhorn instead of Judge Miracan. Her mother claimed Patty had been brainwashed the entire time, and Patty was acquitted in her trial.

After Patty's trial, she worked as an actress in Neptis, Errosia where she met Aeyrin Starsinger. Over a year before the campaign, Patty acted in an off-Dome production with Tadpoley Shore.

## Current Events

Patty is summoned to Shadowend to join Bovil Flaskforge's squad along with Astra Blep, Janni Brightchild, and Zelf. Patty is immediately accosted by Pearl Pervalur, who's a big fan and believes everything the tabloids say about her. Patty takes classes in performance with Commander Valentine and spycraft with Commander Sylrona.

In Arrowpeak, she assists her team in the competition by building a cartoon ankle noose. Patty joins the protests against the Adventurers Guild and brings back a corpsanthemum tendril for Teharra Warsoul. At the team's dinner party, she is distraught by the damage done to her decorations and has Bovil open the enchanted door to their room.

   In Newhaven, she helps sneak in a disguised Harvel Glasscannon under the name Baby Angel. She uses her expertise to get the party into Newhaven's black market. She liberates some animals from the rare animal vendor's shop, including a gerbie. When Astra steals Tudgrack's meteorite and bails, Patty follows her. They fight Aurea Fortuna, but Patty is knocked out and delivered to Bruler, who had been working with the Thieves Guild to capture her. He is upset that she has turned her back on the common man, and plans to blow her up along with what he believes is Shadowend's war room but is actually a hospital. With the gerbie's help, Patty attacks him and puts the bomber jacket on Bruler instead. She leaves him in an elaborate Saw-style trap.

Prince Erling asks Patty to speak to Gamwir, one of Newhaven's Democratic council, and convince him to join the Triad Nations. (12) The party instead goes to the docks, where they fight Ironeye. Patty is grabbed in the prototype mech's claw and nearly drowns. Once the team is out safely, they take the portal to join Astra in a greenhouse, where they find the beheaded corpse of Gamwir. Patty tells the Prince that she was unsuccessful, and they talk about sending Castien to try. (15)

The party returns to Waypoint, where Manny and Bokus Dore serve them eleflute soup. (16) They head back to Shadowend, where Mistmourn interrogates them about what happened in Newhaven. She gives them a mission to find Ansel Phirel and prevent whatever he's planning. (17) They go to Thune, where they fight Ansel and Patty invents the reverse gore technique to kill zombies. (18) They chase Ansel up the river to Faenalin and break into the Court of the Archmage. While the rest of the party is distracting Archmage Wynhorn, Patty stays behind and snoops. She follows Ansel's tracks down a passage of frozen bodies and into Faenalin Academy. There, she makes friends with a student named Sasha under the alias Maddy. (20)

In Faenalin,

In Mealnor,

In Nan Tahrum,

## Random Facts

* Patty's favorite color is pink.
* Patty is vegan.
	+ It's unclear what exactly she thinks this means. She eats cheese and has requested smoked salmon before.
* Patty's beret is a gift from Bruler when he still had a crush on her.
	+ However, it's a knock off Arietta White.
* Patty is very uncomfortable with cats.
* Patty is afraid of horses but has been getting better about it since they got the disenchanteaters.
* Patty is a triple threat and can sing, dance, and act.
	+ One of her singles is "Struttin’ in my Versacheese," which has the lyrics "When I walk in the spot, they’re looking at me. My haters gonna hate, but I know they have fleas. Fur so soft, it’s blowing in the breeze. As I’m struttin’ in my Versacheese."
* She thinks Zelf might eat her and is slightly scared of him.
* Her alignment is chaotic good.
* Patty's birthday is on Ebris 7, aka the Day of Kings. She was born under the sign of the Scepter.
* She has known the designer Mouschino since she was 12.
* Patty claims that she and the The Dentist are not a couple.

## Character Info

### Statistics

* Level: 7
* HP: 44

### Items

* Machete
* Tailblade
* Tankard
* Enchanted coins (gold and platinum)
* Bombs
* Slippers of scampering

### Traits

* Famous personality
* Friends in low places
* Guerilla tactics
* Infamous

### Spells

* Coin shot
* Biting words
* Glue seal
* Reveal secrets

### Skills

* Bluff
* Climb
* Craft traps
* Diplomacy
* Disable device
* Disguise
* Handle animal
* Knowledge: local
* Escape artist
* Perception
* Perform: acting
* Sense motive
* Stealth
* Survival

## Trivia

* Patty Hurts is based off of Patty Hearst.

## Appears In

Patty is in nearly every episode because she is a main player character. She does not appear in episodes 28, 29, and 30.

### In person

* Ep 1 - Welcome to Shadowend
* Ep 2 - Janni Squad
* Ep 3 - Bread Map
* Ep 4 - Cartoon Ankle Noose
* Ep 5 - Garden variety zombie
* Ep 6 - Who knows who's coming back
* Ep 7 - The Dinner Party
* Ep 8 - Baby Angel
* Ep 9 - Responsibly sourced Eleflute
* Ep 10 - Fire sale at the cursed item shop
* Ep 11 - The Party of Pure Chaos
* Ep 12 - Grapes for an Eleflute
* Ep 13 - Walk with purpose
* Ep 14 - Sunk cost fallacy
* Ep 15 - Like a drowned rat
* Ep 16 - The Great Mealnor Bake Off
* Ep 17 - That's not being a bro
* Ep 18 - Reverse gore
* Ep 19 - Group snoop
* Ep 20 - I will join a sorority tomorrow
* Ep 21 - Found family plots
* Ep 22 - BCBPvP
* Ep 23 - Infernal mouths make strange bedfellows
* Ep 24 - Haunted Mutton
* Ep 25 - Infamous Blep wiles
* Ep 26 - Accidental Pervert Territory
* Ep 27 - Snoodeling
* Ep 31 - Janni-shaped container
* Ep 32 - Licking the lollipop of crime
* Ep 33 - Dentistry trigger warning
* Ep 34 - I WOULD RATHER DIE
* Ep 35 - Unusual Body Stuff
* Ep 36 - More than enough teeth for everyone
* Ep 37 - Slutty Little Vest
* Ep 38 - Sticky teamwork
* Ep 39 - For Dignity! For Justice! For RAID!
* Ep 40 - The Nine Senses
* Ep 41 - Janni confuses the crostinis
* Ep 42 - Backhand of Good Luck
* Ep 43 - What's your Rabual score?
* Ep 44 - Janni innaJ
* Ep 45 - Consequence Debt
* Ep 46 - The Black Market Boys
* Ep 47 - Manny-handling
* Ep 48 - Statistically horny for battle
* Ep 49 - My teammates are already gone

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 Ep. 1
2. ↑ Ep. 9
3. ↑ Ep. 7
4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 Ep. 39
5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 Ep. 41
6. ↑ Ep. 45
7. ↑ Image taken from the Ep. 39 animatic, posted on the BCBP Twitter: https://twitter.com/BCBParty/status/1651602099292209153
8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 Ep. 2
9. ↑ Ep. 44
10. ↑ Ep. 4
11. ↑ Ep. 5
12. ↑ Ep. 7
13. ↑ Ep. 8
14. ↑ Ep. 10
15. ↑ Ep. 11
16. ↑ Ep. 2, 00:45:13
17. ↑ Ep2, 00:08:15
18. ↑ Ep. 48
19. ↑ This was mentioned in a Patreon character question before it appeared in the podcast proper.
20. ↑ Ep. 9
21. ↑ Patreon Preview: star sign
22. ↑ Ep. 42