Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja

Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja is the thirteenth episode of Fiction V. Fiction, featuring Ninja Brian from ***Ninja Sex Party*** and Dr. McNinja from ***Adventures of Dr. McNinja***.

## Interlude

Ninjas are awesome. That is simply a fact. Usually they're on serious missions, but sometimes they just go on adventures that make no sense with a partner that doesn't make much more sense, that does other hobbies along with their ninja work.

Ninja Brian

the physopathic music from Ninja Sex Party

And

Dr. McNinja

the doctor that's also a ninja from The Adventures of Dr. McNinja

I'm Aipom and today I'm here to determine who between these two characters could win a match of Fiction V. Fiction.

## Ninja Brian

(Cue: Best Friends Forever! - NSP)

Ninja Brian is a mystery. Almost nothing is known about him. Where he originates, why he's a ninja, and why he hangs out with a man that sings about wanting to get laid. Though Ninja Brian travels with Danny Sexbang in order to keep Danny from going back to being the number 1 ninja, sense Danny gave that title up to dance. Ninja Brian was number 2 until Danny retired, gaining the number 1 place from enharence. Brian stays with Danny and his motives are constantly unclear. He kills all his friends so he's the only friend that Danny has, but often tries killing him. Sometimes he helps Dan to try to get a girlfriend and sometimes he's why Dan fails. Ninja Brian's goals are unsure except one specific thing. Kill as many people as possible. As well as join Danny in a band... with just as much of a known reason as why he's friends with Danny.

And Brian has many ways to kill anyone he comes across. Like any ninja, he has poison darts, a katana, knives, sais, smokebombs, shirukens, and throwing stars. But he has much more than just those. He has a taxi, a laser sword, a pirate ship, a remote that changes colors, a flying tupay, a pirate ship, a hook hand, a shank, battle pandas, ninja pirates, a pirate sword, a shovel, a giant flying ninja star, a cup of liquor with a fist in it, a yatch, an invincibility star, a magic wand, magic arrows, a motorcycle, a horse that can ride a motorcycle, a space ship that helped break a barrier that protected a galactic ship, the Kracken, space dinosaurs that shoot lasers, wings, a fighter jet, rollar skates, and a ship that travels at 'the speed of Brian' and travel through time. He even uses Danny as a blunt object at times. But being a musician also gives him a keyboard, a triangle, and a keytar.

But he also has powers not like your average ninja. He has glitter magic, can travel through time, teleport, create two tiny angels of himself, stab others in the soul, walk and crawl on walls, shoot lasers from his eyes that'll always make it's target's explode, shrink himself, breathe underwater, make buildings explode with his mind, turn into a unicorn, make holograms in his hands, hold fire, shoot lightning, summon knives, murdering the fuck out of you, and do just about anything while giving the middle finger.

He's definitely shown why he's the number one ninja. Brian has punched the beard off Danny, he's hit Danny hard enough to knock him out, hen can impale a person with another person, him and Danny destroyed a city in their fight against Samurai Abstinence Patrol, can easily slice robots in half, can punch hard enough to make explosions, lift cinder blocks as if they were phome, easily catch and lift cars, beat a necromancer to death by using Danny as a club, jump several feet into the air, could hold Danny with just a finger, and uppercutted a man into the sky. And he should be comparable to Danny, sense he's physically stronger than him, and Danny thruster hard enough to create an earthquake in LA while he was in Seattle, which is 1148.2 miles away.

He has outran cheetas, has killed a crowd of partiers and Nintendo characters in seconds, killed Ninja Jim in less than 5 seconds, can go fast enough to appear as a blur, sliced robots in half fast enough before they noticed and exploded, dodged lasers after they were shot, move between flashes, move in the blink of an eye, and quickly flew from above clouds to a bench in a second. Danny and Ninja's ship can travel at The Speed of Brian, and Danny says that "The speed of light is for pussies, we're going at the speed of Brian!". They used the ship to travel to the year 6969. Danny also says that they're crossing through into a wormhole beyond the milkey way. It took 28 seconds between when Brian pressed the button to travel and for the ship to reach the milkey way. Going by the distance from Earth and the milkey way, the Speed of Brian must be 821.429 light years per second.

He can survive space, acted like nothing was happening while the ship was going at the Speed of Brian, survived an explosion that was two feet in front of him that demolished a city, survived being in a house exploding, withstood being at the bottom of the sea, and survived being in the middle of an explosion that completely deatroyed a colosseum in space.

He's a scientist, used to be a teacher, knows how to play the piano and saxophone, knows a jutsu that spawns and changes weapons in his hands, has a degree Theoretical Physics, and has a diploma from the University of Keeping it Real. He's also shown to be smarter than Danny, who was the one to build the space ship.

He's killed the Dick Elders, took out an entire army in seconds, he's been killing ever sense he was an infant, killed an entire crew ship, killed Slenderman, in the number 1 ninja, somehow can play the flute with the mask on, murdered killed 297 people in a few seconds, has a black belt in amazing, killed two people with blunt force by using a pillow, murdered Nintendo characters (Bowser, Yoshi, Wario, Toad, and many others), killed 300 of Danny's friends, has killed other ninjas, taken down robots, slapped a camel, defeated the Manticor, and helped save the year 6969.

Though Brian has major anger issues and is quick to just kill anyone. The only person he's run into that he hasn't been able to kill so simply is Danny and the Manticor. Might explain why he hates the Manticor and still works with Danny. But Brian is also not as much of a thinker in a fight, just stab and murder.

Maybe one day Brian's actions will become clear. Until that day comes, Brian will continue on killing anyone and making music with Danny Sexbang.

(Cue: Ninja Brian Intro!)

## Dr. McNinja

(Cue: Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone)

I know what you may be asking yourself. Who is Dr. McNinja? Well to answer that, we must go back to the beginning. Hundreds of years ago, there was a village on the coast of Ireland that was a peaceful village farming potatoes. But everything had changed when the pirates attacked! Pirates had come to raid the village. The battle was almost over before it began, with the pirates having swords and cannons while the village had very charming cottages. But there was a miracle that showed itself upon this village. The pirates had launch their attack during the winter, when the shamrocks in the grass had become frozen, sharp, and deadly. After making this realization, the villagers had plucked the shamrocks and fought back against the pirates by using them as throwing stars, or throwing clovers in this case. The pirates had retreated and the villagers had won. Soon after the pirates retreated and the villagers were enjoying their victory, a slow clap had cut off their cheering. It turned out to have been a ninja, who had watched their battle. He saw that the villagers had potential to be true ninjas and said he would train them. He was speaking Japanese so no one understood what he was saying, but they got the message eventually and trained in the way of the ninja. And this is how the McNinjas were born. Two members of the McNinja clan, Dan and Mitzi, ended up getting married and building a house within a cave, as well as having a son who would eventually change the normality of the McNinjas being exclusively ninjas, and end up being a doctor as well. Dr. McNinja!

Patrick McNinja was trained under the way of the ninja. But he wasn't as crazy about it as other McNinjas. So just like any parents that wants to train their kid to kill, they got him Batman comics to inspire him. And it worked! Patrick was inspired to be like Batman and trained hard to be the best martial artist he can be. One day, his grandfather John McNinja had come over to babysit Patrick. John found out that Patrick has never been on a gig before. John took him on an assassination but it turned out to be much more than either could handle, with the target turning out to be a Ghost Wizard. John and the Ghost Wizard fought and in order to save Patrick, John had to use all the magic power he had gotten from a wizard pig he had eaten to defeat the Ghost Wizard by turning him into a stone statue that will only awaken when McNinja says his name. But in this attack, he had exhausted himself and erased the name Patrick from everyone else but Patrick McNinja, as well as causing everyone to forget his name, including Dan and Mitzi. Years later, Patrick went to college to be a doctor and as smart as Batman, teaching under a clone of Benjamin Franklin and even being cloned by him so he can learn from every university in the world and come back together to form one McNinja and to know everything about everything, though he never learned about farming for some odd reason. But he graduated and even went to an island of gorillas to help with a gorilla vampire, dubbed vamp-illa, and having a gorilla named Judy join with him to make his own doctor's office and taking on the title, Dr. McNinja!

Just like your regular ninja, Dr. McNinja has katanas, daggers, smokebombs, sais, a grappling hook, throwing stars, and a lock pick kit. And with being a doctor as well, he has a clipboard, bandages, medicines, chloroform, and a srethoscope that could block Dracula's sword. But Dr. McNinja isn't your regular doctor nor ninja! He has a motercycle, throwing stars that send ghosts to hell, a bow and arrow, a crossbow, a blow torch, a shotgun, a zombie-proof space suit, grenades, wooden stakes, monster suits, a book gun, holy shurikens, a dirt bike, a skateboard, a holy katana, a drug that knocked out Judy (his gorilla assistant), a rifle with tranquilizer darts, scooba gear, a stop sign, a bag of rice, a wooden katana, a pistol, a laser gun, chickens, and a drug powder he made that removes a ninja's ninja skills. He also has a golden walkboy that can summon anything he wants, including Sparklelord, who is a unicorn warrior from the Radical World (separate universe) who could fly from the ground to outerspace in just a second, and destroyed a ball of energy as big as the moon and even blew up Dracula's base on the moon. Though without enough radicalness, Sparklelord is a motercycle that can drive itself and drive up to 65 mph.

He also has some special abilities. He can mime out walls and rocket launchers, perfectly hide his presence and appear without anyone realizing, focus his energy to punch ghosts by humming the Ghostbusters theme, give others ninja powers, cure racism, pop out of the ground like a ninja mole, summon his weapons back if lost, and he can even will himself back to life by arguing against Death that his wounds aren't fatal enough to kill him. He also has two souls, one a ninja and one a doctor.

He's strong enough to knock out others with plastic balls, rip robots in half, punched a building sized lumberjack hard enough to knock it out, easily lift a vending machine, leap several feet into the air, snapped a man's legs in half, easily rip through ninja zombie skulls, jumped with enough force to break through a glass dome on the moon while holding a robot Dracula, broke out of a locked cargo truck, easily threw Sparklelord as a motercycle, fought on pare with Frans (who was ripping apart clones of Dr. McNinja with ease), sent Frans flying with a punch, easily slice through metal, punched a car hard enough to bend it and snap a telephone pole, was able to throw Judy (who weighs 200 lbs), could pull a ghost out of himself, punched a man through a school's window, knocked put a gorilla, can easily break stone), effortlessly sent Mongo flying over the horizon (Mongo has the body of a sumo wrestler), and kicked down a large stone door.

He's durable enough to survive a giant yeti knocking him from Cumberland to Canada, survive nearby explosions, brushed off Frans (a ninja hunter) punching him through a wall, survived the reentry of space while on robo Dracula, got smacked by a giant lumberjack's axe, took getting slammed onto the ground by The Robster, fell down a flight of temple stairs, took hits from Mongo (who was made to be stronger than McNinja), survived the knock back of a fireworks dune buggy building's explosion, has been slammed into the ground by Judy, have fallen from dozens of feet into the air several times, withstood attacks from Ghost Astronauts (which can catch and throw missiles), was slammed around by a gorilla for an hour while unconscious (and knocked out that sane gorilla moments after waking up), a steel ladder broke in half like glass when it was swung into McNinja, and survived getting shot by lasers.

He's a ninja so of course he's fast as fuck. He's dodged bullets, ripped a man's arm off without being seen or the guy feeling it, avoided 11 throwing stars at once, kept up with Mongo (who caught and threw a grenade into the ocean in just a second), move fast enough to leave after images, react to Dracula's attacks, move fast enough to slice up several arrows inches away from his face, outran a robot temple guard, outran explosions (which travel at 26,400 feet per second), escaped a crumbling temple before it exploded into a rainbow, ran past guards at a space station fast enough for them not to realize and get to the top of the rocket in a few seconds, caught someone on a jetpack, killed two dinosaur guards before they realized it, dodged a river demon's tentacle, caught a grenade from a grenade launcher, dodged Ron's ice blasts, got behind a gorilla a second after they threw him far enough to pull a Team Rocket, avoided a Frankenstein Gorilla's attacks, avoided attacks from a giant lumberjack, dodged lasers, avoided King Radical's flamethrower, and kept up with a ghost astronaut. This ghost astronaut was chasing after McNinja because he harmed a member of NASA. The ghost astronaut was able to fly from the ground to outerspace and cought a missile, heading towards this missile after it had been launched, and the missile had only made it a few feet away until the ghost astronaut caught it. We know that missiles travel at 16,404.2 feet per second, so the ghost astronaut must have been moving far faster than that.

And with being a doctor, of course he's smart. He has 36 diplomas, made his way through a tennis temple's traps easily, easily figured out McBonald's employees were robots, master at marital arts, was Benjamin Franklin Clone's best student, knows every pressure points, cound figure out Fran's pressure points (Frans could change his pressure points at will), knew exactly who his father was when going into hiding, was able to make a dust to remove someone's ninja abilities, knew exactly what plane he was on and it's features, knew the cure for cancer was hidden on Mars, was able to trick Dracula in his own mirror maze, easily figured out his office was rigged to explode, knows how to fly a plane, made a hang glider out of a birdasour's corpse, made a chemical that turned people into giant lumberjacks, was able to trick King Radical to thinking he was Dr. McLuchador, was successful in discovering King Radical's plan to replace the people of earth with the radical creatures from the Radical Lands, 'mastered' stop sign combat, is an expert with vampires, figured out a mystery surrounding vamp-illa, tricked a cockatrice into looking at itself, and leaned everything there was to know when Benjamin Franklin Clone cloned him and fused them all back into one McNinja, besides farming. The McNinja who learned farming didn't make it back and took up the name Old McNinja, who occasionally helps Dr. McNinja, but also works against him at times.

He's taken on giant lumberjacks, fought a crowd of zombies and robots, defeated Ronald McBonald twice, taken on several security guards at once, fought his mom every time he went home as training, punched a velociraptor, killed a boat of pirates, fought velociraptor riders, deals with ghost daily in his haunted forest, defeated several other ninjas, killed dozens of zombies, outsmarted Dracula, punched Dracula, surfed on a robot Dracula from reentry to the ground, formed the Vigilante Club in college, fought off assassins while asleep, punched birdasours, defeated several of his clones, has worked with Axe Cop on one occasion, was able to get every doctor in Florida sick, has impressive aerial manoeuvre skills, made an army of people to fight back a future dinosaur ran government, fought dinosaurs with laser guns, freed The Diplomat, saved a timelime from dinosaurs, fought on pare with his dad (who punched a pirate through a ship), can cure mummy curses, taken on his ex (Hortense) and Old at the same time, able to successfully foil King Radical's original plans, snuck into the White House, taken on skeleton warriors as a kid, escaped the Negazone, was able to break out of a jail cell at the bottom of the ocean, has gone through time, fought on pare with Old, taken on King Radical's army with Old, able to sneak up on Dracula, and was able to successfully kill King Radical by turning him onto a vampire and throwing a pope at him. He can also will himself back life by arguing against Death that he isn't dead. He even kicked Death's head into a portal to the underworld, which is a restaurant that you're just waiting to be served.

Dr. McNinja does have anger issues and talk to himself at times. He also has a weird obsession with trying to prove that King Radical was up to something, going to the point that he ignored everyone to pretend to be Dr. McLuchador to trick King Radical into telling him his plans. Also for how powerful Sparklelord is and while McNinja can summon him, he has no control over Sparklelord and he only agreed to help Dr. McNinja because it was ruining King Radical's plans. And as a doctor, he often just leaves on a journey without treating his patients, to even ignoring injured patients at times. He has also died before from simply being gunned down. McNinjas are also masked at birth and if one removed their mask, they disappear forever.

But ultimately that's what McNinja had to do. After he had defeated all his enemies, Frans launched a nuke onto him because he was trying to free the president of the United States from the Negazone, it's a long story. But because he knew he couldn't survive that explosion, he had to unmask himself and change his outfit with a guard's so he could trick Frans long enough to free the president. While Dr. McNinja succeeded in saving the world, he had to loose his name and be considered dead, opening a new office and simply becoming Dr. Patrick Goodrich. While Dr. McNinja is no more, Patrick will always be a doctor and what he did for the world will be remembered, forever.

(Cue: The Adventures of Dr. McNinja #96 - Comic Dub)

## Fight

(Cue: Surgeon Simulator Touch OST - Eye Doctor Now)

(Danny Sexbang is being rushed into Dr. McNinja's office, being layed on the table with his crotch crushed)

Danny: My berries...

Dr. McNinja: Alright. We need an ice pack and pain killers, stat!

(Dr. McNinja turns around to grab the ice and pain killers out from his cabinet)

Dr. McNinja: Okay sir, we'll have you fixed in no time.

(He turns around, to find Ninja Brian stabbing Danny repeatedly)

Danny: Brian why!?

Dr. McNinja: Uhm... Can you stop stabbing this patient?

(Ninja Brian looks at Dr. McNinja and starts punching him now instead)

Dr. McNinja: That's better but just stop beating up the patient.

(Now instead, Ninja Brian kicks Danny in the nuts and flips off Dr. McNinja)

(Dr. McNinja looks at Ninja Brian furiously for a moment before calming down)

Dr. McNinja: Judy. Cancel all my appointments.

Judy: Ook

(Dr. McNinja grabs his katana from the wall and grabs onto the table and lunges at Ninja Brian, and Brian stops kicking Danny and grabs him by the legs, wielding him like a baseball bat)

(Cue: NSP - Eating Food In The Shower - Instrumental guitar cover)

FIGHT!

(Ninja Brian swings Danny into Dr. McNinja and sends him flying into a wall)

(Dr. McNinja is stunned for a moment, then Ninja Brian lunges at him)

(He smacks Dr. McNinja with Danny and sends him crashing through the wall)

(Dr. McNinja crashes onto the ground outside and Ninja Brian jumps towards him again)

(Dr. McNinja throws a smokebomb onto the ground as Ninja Brian slams Danny onto where Dr. McNinja was)

(The smoke clears with Danny's head in the ground and Dr. McNinja gone)

(Ninja Brian looks around for Dr. McNinja for a moment and pulls Danny out from the ground)

(A grappling hook shoots out from the woods and wraps around Danny's waist before pulling him into the woods)

Danny: Oh God!

(Danny goes silent and moments later, a grappling hoot is thrown out of the woods, aiming at Ninja Brian)

(But Ninja Brian grabs the grappling hook and pulls on it, forcing Dr. McNinja out of his hiding spot)

Dr. McNinja: Oh shi-

(Ninja Brian uppercuts Dr. McNinja into the air and pulls out his katana before jumping up towards Dr. McNinja)

(Ninja Brian swings his sword at Dr. McNinja, but Dr. McNinja counters with his sword, clashing the blades)

(Dr. McNinja punches Ninja Brian in the face and sends him crashing into the ground)

(He lands on top of his office as Ninja Brian gets back up)

(Dr. McNinja pulls out three throwing stars and throws them at Ninja Brian)

(Ninja Brian flips off Dr. McNinja and lunges at him, punching away each star)

(Ninja Brian tries punching Dr. McNinja in the face, but Dr. McNinja moves out of the way and grabs Ninja Brian's head before slamming it onto the roof)

(Ninja Brian grabs Dr. McNinja by the leg and pulls him off the ground, causing Dr. McNinja to fall onto his back)

(He quickly gets up and stomps on Dr. McNinja, breaking the ceiling)

(Dr. McNinja falls onto the floor and Ninja Brian gets up)

(Ninja Brian looks down at Dr. McNinja and touches his finger tips to his head, with electricity coming from him)

(Dr. McNinja quickly rushes to his office as the building explodes)

(Ninja Brian is sent flying into the air from his explosion while giving the building the double middle finger)

(But an astronaut suit with Dr. McNinja in it comes shooting out of the explosion, with it punching Ninja Brian in the head as it goes past)

(Dr. McNinja grabs onto a tree top and swings back towards Ninja Brian with a shotgun in one hand)

(He flings itself towards Ninja Brian and fires his shotgun at Ninja Brian's chest)

(Ninja Brian falls onto the ground and Dr. McNinja falls back and lands on the ground)

(Dr. McNinja aims at Ninja Brian and fires again, but Ninja Brian jumps back up and dodges)

(He shoots at Ninja Brian again one more time as Ninja Brian charges at Dr. McNinja, deflecting the bullets with his katana)

(When up close, Ninja brian rips through the astronaut suit and grabs Dr. McNinja)

(He rips Dr. McNinja out of the suit and slams him onto the ground)

(Ninja Brian drives his fist towards Dr. McNinja's head, but Dr. McNinja moves his out out of the way just in time)

(Dr. McNinja kicks Ninja Brian in the stomach to push him back a bit before pushing himself back up)

(He swings his katana at Ninja Brian, but Ninja Brian counters with his own blade)

(Ninja Brian headbutts Dr. McNinja and stuns him for a moment)

(Ninja Brian swimgs his katana again, but Dr. McNinja snaps back quick enough to counter with his katana)

(He swings again and Dr. McNinja counters once more, but then Ninja Brian knees him upwards before punching him in the crotch)

(Dr. McNinja screams before falling onto the ground, writhing in pain)

Dr. McNinja: Oh god! What the hell is wrong with you!?

(Ninja Brian shrugs before pulling put a shovel and tries to drive it into Dr. McNinja)

(But Dr. McNinja uses his srethoscope to block Ninja Brian's shovel)

(Dr. McNinja pushes back Ninja Brian and quickly gets up)

(Ninja Brian swings the shovel at Dr. McNinja when he gets up, hitting him in the side of the head and knocking him back down)

(Ninja Brian drives the shovel downwards to Dr. McNinja's neck, but Dr. McNinja blocks it with a clipboard this time)

(Dr. McNinja pushes back Ninja Brian and throws the clipboard at his head, then throws a smokebomb next to him)

(Ninja Brian slams the shovel onto where Dr. McNinja was repeatedly, but all that's there is a hole when the smoke clears)

(Ninja Brian throws the shovel in anger and looks around)

(By the road leading into Dr. McNinja's office, the sound of a motorcycle starting up)

(Ninja Brian looks at where the sound is coming from and sees Dr. McNinja driving away on a motorcycle and a hole nearby)

(Steam comes from Ninja Brian's head as he rushes to the road and calls a cab)

(A taxi driver drives up to Ninja Brian, and he pulls the driver out before getting in and flipping off the driver, before chasing after Dr. McNinja)

Dr. McNinja: Okay, he's also a ninja and he can blow things up with his mind. If I can figure out a way to be-

(As Dr. McNinja was talking with himself, a bolt of lightning shoots past him and strikes a tree, lighting it on fire)

(In shock, Dr. McNinja looks behind himself and sees Ninja Brian in a taxi while flipping him off)

(Ninja Brian shoots more lightning at Dr. McNinja, but Dr. McNinja speeds up to dodge it in time as the lightning strikes the road)

(Ninja Brian speeds up to catch up with Dr. McNinja, who starts going faster)

(Ninja Brian keeps blasting electricity at Dr. McNinja as he tries to avoid Ninja Brian's attacks)

(Ninja Brian gets next to Dr. McNinja and throws a glass of liquor to Dr. McNinja)

(Dr. McNinja catches the glass and looks confused)

(A fist comes out of the glass and punches Dr. McNinja in the face, causing him to fall off his motorcycle)

(Ninja Brian turns the car to it's side and jumps out as it flips over several times and explodes behind him)

(Cue: NSP - Dragon Slayer - Instrumental guitar cover)

(Ninja Brian pulls out a pair of sais and walks towards Dr. McNinja)

Dr. McNinja: Not surprised you're a Raphael fan.

(Ninja Brian spins the sais around and tries to jab them into Dr. McNinja, but Dr. McNinja kicks one of the blades out of Ninja Brian's hands)

(Dr. McNinja quickly gets up and kicks the other sais out of Ninja Brian's hands)

(Ninja Brian pulls out his katana and swings it at Dr. McNinja)

(Dr. McNinja jumps out the way and punches Ninja Brian in the face)

(Dr. McNinja quickly hops back onto his motorcycle and drives into the woods)

(Ninja Brian is about to chase him in the taxi, but realizes it blew up)

(Ninja Brian chases after Dr. McNinja in the woods)

(Dr. McNinja weaves through the trees as he glances behind himself)

Dr. McNinja: Okay, I think I lost him.

(Dr. McNinja glances at the review mirrors and sees an angry unicorn in Ninja Brian's outfit)

(He then just looks forward with an annoyed expression)

Dr. McNinja: ....I hate unicorns.

(Dr. McNinja pulls out his katana and turns around, charging straight at Ninja Brian)

(He jumps off the motorcycle and grabs Ninja Brian's horn while landing on top of him)

(Dr. McNinja tries to stab Ninja Brian, but Ninja Brian rears)

(Dr. McNinja grabs ahold of Ninja Brian's horn as he swings around)

(Ninja Brian charges straight forward as Dr. McNinja holds tightly onto his horn)

(He suddenly stops, causing Dr. McNinja to fly off and crash upside down on a tree)

(Ninja Brian charges at Dr. McNinja, aiming his horn)

(Dr. McNinja sees Ninja Brian from an upside down angle and quickly realizes where he would hit)

(Dr. McNinja quickly throws a smokebomb onto the ground and forces himself up)

(Ninja Brian charges straight into the cloud of smoke and his horn pierces the tree)

(Dr. McNinja climbs out from the ground behind Ninja Brian with a tranquilizer in his hands)

(He tries to stick it into Ninja Brian to knock him out, but Ninja Brian kicks Dr. McNinja with his hind legs)

(Dr. McNinja goes flying back but lands on his feet)

(He looks at Ninja Brian, but his eyes widen as a gaint ninja star flying towards him)

(Dr. McNinja leans back as the ninja star just barely misses him and cuts through several trees behind him)

(He looks at the sliced trees and then looks back at Ninja Brian, who's charging straight at him)

(Ninja Brian uppercuts Dr. McNinja several feet into the air)

(Dr. McNinja crashes onto the ground back by the road as Ninja Brian charges through the woods towards the road)

(Dr. McNinja hears Ninja Brian approaching and hides himself within the area)

(Ninja Brian gets to the road and looks for Dr. McNinja, with the taxi still destroyed and burning)

(A throwing star from the woods hits Ninja Brian in the back of the head)

(Ninja Brian quickly grabs the burning taxi and throws it at where the star came from, but hits nothing but the wilderness)

(Another star is thrown from a different tree, hitting Ninja Brian in the arm)

(Ninja Brian shoots a poison dart at where the star came from, hitting something amd causing it to fall from the tree and onto the ground)

(Ninja Brian goes over to murder the fuck out of Dr. McNinja after poisoning him, but finds a squirrel with the dart shot in it)

(Coming to the realization that it what Ninja Brian thought, Dr. McNinja grabs Ninja Brian from behind)

(He quickly bends back and slams Ninja Brian into the pavement)

(Dr. McNinja quickly releases Ninja Brian as he's on the ground a quickly kicks him across the road)

(Dr. McNinja pulls out his katana, but notices something coming from the sky)

(He squints his eyes and sees two small Ninja Brians with wings flying towards him)

Dr. McNinja: What the...?

(The two tiny Ninja Brians pull out their own tiny knives and charge directly at Dr. McNinja)

(They swoop down while aiming for Dr. McNinja, but Dr. McNinja quickly jumps out of the way)

(As Dr. McNinja dodges the tiny Ninja Brians, Ninja Brian lunges at him with a knife)

(Dr. McNinja quickly ducks and Ninja Brian lands behind him)

(He kicks Dr. McNinja in the back, sending him across the street)

(Dr. McNinja rolls on the ground, as the two tiny Ninja Brians charge directly towards him)

(They try to shank him with the tiny knives, but Dr. McNinja reacts in time and protects himself with his katana, making the Ninja Brians bounce off his blade)

(Ninja Brian jumps up and tries to slam his fists onto Dr. McNinja, but Dr. McNinja quickly rolls out of the way and gets up)

(Ninja Brian crushes the ground where Dr. McNinja was standing)

(Dr. McNinja gets up as one of the tiny Ninja Brians charges at him)

(Ninja Brian shoots a laser from his eyes, but Dr. McNinja grabs the tiny Ninja Brian to protect himself)

(The laser hits the tiny Ninja Brian and causes it to explode, launching both of them back)

(Dr. McNinja sticks his sword into the ground to stop himself as the tiny Ninja Brian charges at him)

(Dr. McNinja jumps out of the way as the tiny Ninja Brian swoops down at him, but Dr. McNinja moves to the right and grabs the tiny Ninja Brian)

(Ninja Brian lunges at Dr. McNinja and tries to stab him with a knife, but Dr. McNinja uses the tiny Ninja to block Ninja Brian's knife)

(He kicks Ninja Brian in the stomach and sends him flying back)

(The tiny Ninja Brian poofs away with the knife in it)

(Dr. McNinja charges at Ninja Brian and slashes him with his katana)

(Ninja Brian tries to punch Dr. McNinja, but Dr. McNinja moves out of the way)

(He swings his katana again, but Ninja Brian creates glitter magic in front of Dr. McNinja, causing Dr. McNinja to stop right before the blade made contact with Ninja Brian out of confusion)

(Ninja Brian punches Dr. McNinja in the face while he was distracted, knocking him onto the ground)

(Cue: NSP - Attitude City - Instrumental guitar cover)

(Ninja Brian pulls out his katana and was about to stab Dr. McNinja, but a ninja star from the trees gets thrown at Ninja Brian's head)

(Ninja Brian looks at the forest and sees someone running away, with the forest burning due to the taxi being thrown in it earlier)

(Ninja Brian charges towards the woods to kill the person who threw the ninja star, but Dr. McNinja quickly throws his grappling hook around Ninja Brian's legs)

Dr. McNinja: Thank you, Old.

(Dr. McNinja swings around Ninja Brian around and slams him onto the ground several times)

(He slams Ninja Brian onto the road before Ninja Brian shinks himself to escape the grappling hook wrapped around his land)

(Ninja Brian grows back to normal size and pulls out his laser sword)

(He charges at Dr. McNinja as Dr. McNinja hears something approaching behind him)

(Dr. McNinja quickly jumps up as the giant ninja star flies underneath him)

(Ninja Brian vanishes in a cloud of smoke before reappearing on the giant ninja star, flying around and looping back towards Dr. McNinja)

Dr. McNinja: Okay. That's dumb!

(Dr. McNinja quickly leaps out of the way as Ninja Brian passes him)

(He throws regular throwing stars at Ninja Brian, but Ninja Brian melts them with his laser sword)

(Dr. McNinja charges at Ninja Brian and jumps up onto the giant flying throwing star with him)

(He punches Ninja Brian in the face and then karate chops his hand, making him drop the laser sword)

(The laser sword falls onto the road as Dr. McNinja punches Ninja Brian again as he's distracted)

(But he grabs Dr. McNinja's fist and tries pushing him off)

(But Dr. McNinja quickly throws Ninja Brian off)

Dr. McNinja: Now how do I use this thing? Like a skateboard? Yeah, probably like a skateboard.

(Ninja Brian lands on the road as Dr. McNinja figures how to control the flying throwing star towards Ninja Brian)

(Ninja Brian flips off Dr. McNinja and shoots a laser from his eyes at the throwing star, causing it to explode)

(Dr. McNinja is sent flying off the throwing star, being blasted high up)

(Dr. McNinja tries to find someway to prevent himself from being splattered onto the pavement)

(He finds a part of the forest where the fire haven't spread to yet to throw his grappling hook)

(Ninja Brian blasts lightning at Dr. McNinja, but misses)

Dr. McNinja: We should take care of him first.

(Dr. McNinja mimes himself a bazooka and aims it at Ninja Brian before firing)

(Not seeing anything, Ninja Brian looks confused what Dr. McNinja is doing)

(Then the invisible missile hits Ninja Brian, creating a large explosion)

(Dr. McNinja throwing his grappling hook onto a tree branch and swings back down to the ground)

(A throwing star comes out of the explosion and slices through Dr. McNinja's grappling hook, causing him to crash onto the ground)

(Ninja Brian jumps out from the explosion and punches Dr. McNinja in the stomach into the ground, causing Dr. McNinja to cough up blood through the mask)

(Ninja Brian repeatedly punches Dr. McNinja until Dr. McNinja grabs his fist)

(He stabs Ninja Brian in the stomach with a dagger before throwing a smokebomb onto the ground)

(Ninja Brian pulls the dagger out and throws it aside)

(Dr. McNinja appears behind Ninja Brian and hits him in the back of the head with a stop sign)

(Ninja Brian quickly turns around as Dr. McNinja hits him again in the side of the head)

(Ninja Brian tries to slash Dr. McNinja with a katana, but he blocks by using the stop sign)

(Dr. McNinja thrusts the sign into Ninja Brian's stomach before hitting him again in the side of the head)

(Ninja Brian steps back before lunging at Dr. McNinja with his katana, swinging it but for Dr. McNinja to counter with the stop sign)

(The blade cuts through the stop sign until Dr. McNinja kicks back Ninja Brian)

(Dr. McNinja slams the stop sign onto the top of Ninja Brian's head, causing it to snap and leave an indent of Ninja Brian's head)

(Dr. McNinja takes out a wooden stake and stabs Ninja Brian in the chest with it)

(Ninja Brian gives and confused look, and Dr. McNinja replies with a shrug)

(Ninja Brian flips off Dr. McNinja and punches him in the side of the face before sending him flying back with an uppercut)

(Dr. McNinja catches himself and pulls out a laser gun)

(He shoots at Ninja Brian three times before landing)

(Ninja Brian dodges the shots and summons two knives before charging at Dr. McNinja)

(Ninja Brian tries to stab Dr. McNinja with the blades, but Dr. McNinja blocks with his katana)

(Dr. McNinja swings his katana into Ninja Brian's head, but he turns into a cloud of smoke right before the katana made contact)

(He appears behind Dr. McNinja and stabs him in the back with the knives before kicking him in the back)

(Dr. McNinja falls onto the ground and Ninja Brian kicks him several times)

(A portal opens up in front of Dr. McNinja's without Ninja Brian being able to see it)

(A skeleton in a tux and a towel on his arm walks out and looks at Dr. McNinja's body with Ninja Brian beating it)

Death: So it seems we're here again, McNinja.

Ninja Dr. McNinja: Oh no way I died to that!

Death: Well you did. You're not cheating me this ti-

(Before Death could finish, Doctor Dr. McNinja grabs Death's head from his body)

Doctor Dr. McNinja: Sorry Death, but we gotta get this guy first and foremost.

Death: Don't you dare!

Dr. McNinjas: Those stab wounds are just...

(Doctor Dr. McNinja throws Death's head back through the portal, and Ninja Dr. McNinja picks up Death's body and throws it in the portal as well)

(Cue: NSP - Orgy For One - Instumental guitar cover)

Dr. McNinja: Flesh wounds!

(Dr. McNinja stabs Ninja Brian's foot before throwing a smokebomb next to himself and vanishing)

(Ninja Brian pulls the shank out of his foot and looks for Dr. McNinja)

(Dr. McNinja hides within the remains of his blown up building and finds a blood bag and bandagesl

(He starts fixing himself up after taking out the knives)

(After fixing himself up, he looks for something underneath his desk)

(He finds what he was looking for, but then hears the sounds of the fire approaching his office and the sound a motorcycle)

(Quickly Dr. McNinja shoves the item in his coat, alongside a glass bottle wotba powder in it before running outside with his katana)

(He sees Ninja Brian riding a horse on a motorcycle driving to him)

Dr. McNinja: That makes sense to happen after today.

(Dr. McNinja grabs his crossbow and aims at Ninja Brian)

(But the horse jumps off the motorcycle, and the motorcycle drives towarda Dr. McNinja)

(Dr. McNinja jumps out of the way as the motorcycle crashes into the destroyed building)

(Ninja Brian's horse charges at Dr. McNinja, and Dr. McNinja rushes at Ninja Brian)

(Dr. McNinja jumps up and kicks Ninja Brian in the head)

(Ninja Brian doesn't flinch though and the horse raises its front legs to headbutt Dr. McNinja in the stomach)

(Dr. McNinja lands behind the horse and it turns around)

(It tries to crush Dr. McNinja with it's hoove, but Dr. McNinja grabs it's leg and tries to fight back)

(Dr. McNinja struggles to push the horse back, until a flaming tree falls and crashes onto the ground near them, spooking the horse)

(Ninja Brian falls off as the horse runs away from the loud sound)

(Ninja Brian flips off the horse as it runs away)

(Dr. McNinja quickly gets up and pulls out a crossbow, then shoots Ninja Brian in the back of the knee)

(Ninja Brian falls onto the ground and grabs the arrow)

(Dr. McNinja pulls the glass bottle of powder and approaches Ninja Brian)

(Ninja Brian pulls the arrow out from his knee and kicks Dr. McNinja's hand, causing him to let go of the bottle and for it to go flying into the air)

(Ninja Brian gets up and punches Dr. McNinja in the face, then knees him in the stomach)

(He pulls out a knife and tries to stab Dr. McNinja in the neck, but Dr. McNinja quickly gets to Ninja Brian's right and pushes a pressure point on Ninja Brian's neck, stunning him)

(Dr. McNinja catches the bottle and kicks Ninja Brian in the back of the knee where he shot the arrow)

(Dr. McNinja grabs Ninja Brian in a chokehold while he's stunned and smashes the bottle on Ninja Brian's face, covering his face in the powder)

(Ninja Brian slams the back of his head against Dr. McNinja's face, causing him to let go)

(Ninja Brian pulls out a knife and spins around to stab Dr. McNinja on the head, but he's moving far more slower)

(Because of the lower speed, Dr. McNinja was able to avoid the attack)

(He kicks Ninja Brian in the side before swinging his katana at Ninja Brian)

(But Ninja Brian uses his own blade to counter just before the katana reached him)

(He grabs Dr. McNinja by the collar of his shirt and pulls him in before uppercutting Dr. McNinja several feet into the air)

(He pulls out a poison dart and shoot it at Dr. McNinja)

(But Dr. McNinja regains himself and slice the dart in half with his katana)

(Dr. McNinja lands and Ninja Brian pulls out a saxophone)

(He starts to purposefully play the saxophone very badly, causing Dr. McNinja to cover his ears)

(He rushes at Dr. McNinja while playing the saxophone with one hand, making it worse, and wielding his katana with the other hand)

(Dr. McNinja notices Ninja Brian getting closer and charges at Ninja Brian)

(He jumps and kicks Ninja Brian in the head, causing Ninja Brian to stop playing)

(But Ninja Brian grabs Dr. McNinja's leg and slams him repeatedly onto the ground)

(He throws Dr. McNinja into the burning woods and charges in)

(Dr. McNinja crashes into a burning tree that a ghost is coming out of)

(He hums the Ghostbusters theme as he stabs it with his katana)

(After humming, Ninja Brian rips a burning tree out of the ground in front of Dr. McNinja)

(He swings the tree into Dr. McNinja, sending Dr. McNinja flying through the forest)

(Dr. McNinja lands on his feet and looks up, seeing the same burning tree being thrown at him)

(Dr. McNinja slices the tree in half as one falls behind him)

(Several throwing stars is sent flying at Dr. McNinja, but he dodges them as he charges towards them)

(As Dr. McNinja makes his way to Ninja Brian, bolts of lightning strikes the burning trees surrounding Dr. McNinja, causing them to fall down)

(Dr. McNinja throws his last smokebomb to escape the falling trees)

(He appears in front of the pile of burning trees and looks at the mess before hearing a familiar Mario tune)

(He looks back and sees Ninja Brian running at him while glowing in a rainbow color)

(Dr. McNinja throws several ninja stars and they each bounce off of Ninja Brian)

(Ninja Brian gets up close and punches Dr. McNinja in the face hard enough to send him crashing through the pile of trees)

(He crashes through another tree before landing on the ground as Ninja Brian leaps over the burning pile and lands in front of Dr. McNinja)

(Ninja Brian raises his katana over Dr. McNinja and swings it down)

(Dr. McNinja just barely dodges the attack, with part of his coat getting ripped)

(Ninja Brians swings at Dr. McNinja several times, with Dr. McNinja backing away while trying to waste the Invincibility Star)

(Ninja Brian decides to just rip a tree out from the ground and throw it at Dr. McNinja)

(Dr. McNinja tries jumping out of the way, but the tree still hits him and crashes into the ground)

(The golden walkman falls out from Dr. McNinja'w coat pocket as the Invincibility Star's effects stop)

(Dr. McNinja grabs the walkman and whispers into it)

Dr. McNinja: Sparklelord.

(A golden portal opens up above the both of them, with Sparklelord floating out of it)

(Ninja Brian stops to look up at the giant, floating unicorn)

Sparklelord: McNinja. What did you summon me for this time?

Dr. McNinja: That ninja is with King Radical.

(Sparklelord looks at Ninja Brian, who flips him off)

Sparklelord: Then I'll bathe in his blood.

(Sparklelord flies up into the air and aims his horn directly at the two)

(Ninja Brian pulls out a set of keys and press a button on them, causing a space ship to start flying to them)

(Sparklelord fires a rainbow beam from his horn, but the ship makes it to the group first, crashing through trees, and Ninja Brian jumps into the ship)

(It starts going up as the rainbow beam hits the ground)

(Sparklelord fires rainbows at the ship, as Ninja Brian puts it in hyperspeed)

(Ninja Brian going into space and then back in time to when him, Dr. McNinja, and Danny were in the office)

Dr. McNinja: Alright. We need an ice pack and pain killers, stat!

(After Dr. McNinja says that, he sees a ship outside in the sky through the window)

Dr. McNinja: What the...?

(Ninja Brian jumps out from the ship and crashes through the roof of the building)

Dr. McNinja: Wait a minu-

(He pulls out his katana and slashes Dr. McNinja in half upon landing)

(Quickly, Ninja Brian turns around and slices up the two halves of Dr. McNinja into several pieces, with them falling onto the ground)

(The two Ninja Brians look at each other, with present Ninja Brian flipping off past Ninja Brian before leaving)

(Past Ninja Brian then flips off present Ninja Brian after he leaves)

## Results

(Cue: Cool Patrol)

K.O!

(Dr. McNinja finds himself in the afterlife, sitting at a table with Benjamin Franklin. And Ninja Brian goes back to the present and gets Danny)

He should be able to fix himself up. He's a doctor.

This was a weirdly a close matchup. With Ninja Brian's strength and Dr. McNinja's intelligence and experience, this became a battle of brains vs brawn.

With their strength, Dr. McNinja could knock out building sized lumbjacks and break a class barrier on the moon, but Ninja Brian has shown to be stronger than Danny, who've caused earthquakes 1148.2 miles away with the shockwaves of his thrusts. Just being able to make those earthquakes puts Ninja Brian above Dr. McNinja in strength.

Though with intelligence, Dr. McNinja easily takes that. Ninja Brian has shown off his high intelligence with being smarter than the guy who built a time machine rocket, but Dr. McNinja learned from every university and has even made a powder that could de-ninja someone, remove mummy curses, and could figure out anyone's pressure points.

Speed is the biggest difference though. While Dr. McNinja can keep up with the Nasaghast, which caught up with a spaceship after it had left orbit and caught a missile that was fired when the Nasaghast left the ground from Earth, the Speed of Brian can travel at 821.429 light years per second. If we assume Ninja Brian can move at this speed himself because it's named Speed of Brian, Ninja Brian is far faster than Dr. McNinja. Even when not including Speed of Brian, Ninja Brian has avoided lasers after they've been shot, being still faster than the Nasaghast.

With their durability, Ninja Brian survived being in the middle of a jousting coliseum in space exploding and Dr. McNinja brushed off being tossed by a yeti from Cumberland into Canada, but was still knocked unconscious. While he survives being thrown 2,349 miles, when Dr. McNinja was in a space ship exploding, he wouldn't have survived if Chuck Goodrich didn't send himself and Dr. McNinja into the future, and the explosion was smaller than the coliseum explosion.

Though with experience, Dr. McNinja has a far larger advantage. While Ninja Brian has killed way more people than Dr. McNinja, Ninja Brian isn't as in many fights. Not as many people Ninja Brian has killed were actually capable of fighting back against him. And a lot of the journeys he's been on with Danny, Danny usually does most of the work and Brian just does quick kills. Where Dr. McNinja on the other hand actually does fight and have seen a wider variety of foes than Ninja Brian. And Dr. McNinja is the only one to actually face up against other ninjas and even opponents stronger than him, while Ninja Brian has only killed one ninja and he just shot him with a poison dart, something that wouldn't work as easily with Dr. McNinja due to him being much smarter than most ninjas and being much more experienced in actual fights.

Their arsenals are tricky though. Ninja Brian has more abilities and Dr. McNinja has more weapons at his disposal that can sometimes do more than Ninja Brian's arsenal and abilities could. The golden walkman could summon Sparklelord, who was hinted to have destroyed the Radical Lands after King Radical died. And the Radical Lands is a different universe. And Dr. McNinja's de-ninja powder could turn Ninja Brian to just Brian. And the rest of their powers and weapons were definitely large enough to keep a prolonged fight against the other. The de-ninja does only get rid of a ninja's speed and stealth, it can let Dr. McNinja outspeed Ninja Brian and just wear him down.

It came down to who could land the most fatal blow and who could do it first. And Ninja Brian could land the more fatal blow and had a way to do it first. A lot of their abilities and some of Dr. McNinja's experience couls counter Ninja Brian's weapons. Dr. McNinja's split soul made it so even if Ninja Brian stabbed him in the soul, there was no way for Ninja Brian to know about the split soul. Dr. McNinja could bring himself back from the dead by arguing with Death, where Ninja Brian doesn't have such ability. And the de-ninja powder could even out the playing field more. But what got Ninja Brian the win is the fact that the ship that him and Danny used to travel to 6969 can travel through time and can go at the Speed of Brian, without being effected by the de-ninja powder due to it simply not being a ninja. And Ninja Brian can through time himself, letting him go to a moment of time where he can kill Dr. McNinja before Dr. McNinja could know what happened.

McNinja was definitely Ninja Brian's most skilled opponent with his intelligence, experience, and wide arsenal. But Ninja Brian had the overwhelming strength, the higher durability, the far bigger speed, and just the right counters to outmatch the poor doc.

This just wasn't Dandy for McNinja.

The winner is Ninja Brian!

## Trivia

* The connections between Ninja Brian and Dr. McNinja are that they are both ninjas that have other jobs outside on ninja work (Brian is a musician and Dr. McNinja is a doctor) who often go on abnormal journeys with a teammate that is also just as bizarre (Danny Sexbang and Gordito Delgado). Both have anger issues and both have different views with human lives (Brian kills almost everyone and McNinja tries to save lives as a doctor) and both are considered the best in their fields.
* Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja is the second episode to have a unique matchup not brought up before the episode's announcement (or at least not commonly heard)
	+ The first unique matchup was Yuno Gasai vs Genocide Jack
* The episode was originally suppose to be Mob vs Raven (Mob Psycho 100 vs DC) but ended up being scrapped due to it being too big of a stomp and very little connections, and ended up being changed to Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja
* The first Ninja Sex Party matchup was originally thought of to be Danny Sexbang vs Hatsune Miku (Ninja Sex Party vs Vocaloid) but Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja was chosen over it due to it sounding a bit more interesting to due first
	+ Another reason Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja was chosen instead was to try shining more light to Adventures of Dr. McNinja
* Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja was originally planned to be episode 15, but got moved up to episode 13
	+ A week after finalizing on Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja as the next episode while making Clementine vs Ellie, the controversy relating to Dan Avidan had started
		- The episode had already started research when hearing about the controversy so the placement wasn't moved back
* Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja was the first episode to use a character from a band
	+ Currently Death Battle have not used a band character in Death Battle
* Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja is the first episode to use a character that has never had a TV show/movie release and only being a comic/web-comic
	+ Currently Death Battle have not used a character that has only been a comic/web-comic and not appear in a TV show/movie
* Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja is the first episode to have a character that has never spoke
* Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja is the first episode to use instrumental versions of songs
* Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja is the first episode to have a character without an official track to them
* Ninja Brian was the third character not to speak after killing their opponent.
	+ The first two was Crona and Clementine, and the next two were Travis Touchdown and Maka Albarn
* This is the first Ninja Sex Party episode
	+ The next one was Danny Sexbang vs Hatsune Miku
* Ninja Brian vs Dr. McNinja is the eight episode to be featured on the Death Battle Amino
	+ The first eight was Waluigi vs Papyrus, Star Butterfly vs Steven Universe, Mr. Fantastic vs Plastic Man, Yuno Gasai vs Genocide Jack, Izuku Midoriya vs Miles Morales, Monika vs Giffany, Crona vs Shiro, and Clementine vs Ellie. The next nine were Ban vs Deadpool, Travis Touchdown vs Scott Pilgrim, 2B vs Raiden, Fox McCloud vs Rocket Raccoon, Ruby Rose vs Maka Albarn, Eren Yeager vs Ken Kaneki, All Might vs Koro Sensei, Danny Sexbang vs Hatsune Miku, and Meta Knight vs Beta Ray Bill