Blood & Makeup: The Last Laugh of Blah Blah the Clown

## Synopsis

### Part 1

Blah Blah the Clown ( the kids know him as ) aka Eddie Oswald is a man who always wanted to be an actor. His mother, Melora Oswald, was not very passionate towards him and they did not get along, and neither did Melora and Eddie's best friend, Daniel Clemons (who wanted to be a director). One day Eddie had gotten so fed up with his mother that he ran away to Hollywood with Daniel. He aggressively auditioned for the role of ‘Blah Blah’ for the children’s television show, “Quiet Time With Blah Blah the Clown”, a show created to advertise the upcoming chocolate product "Blah Blah Bars", and landed the part.

Eventually, the stardom got to his head and he grew upset with most (if not, all) of the kids and workers on the show, so Clive Butler, the Founder of ‘Butler Sweets and Such’ and the “Quiet Time” show, replaced the children on the show with puppets. Wendy, the puppeteer, forms an intimate relationship with Eddie Oswald (Blah Blah).

Even after this decision, Eddie is still very rude and it seems everyone except Clive really hates working with him. One day on set Eddie had an outrage at the head of costume design, Deborah Tomlin, over his wig. She yelled back at him and stormed out, mentioning her hatred of clowns\* (see paragraph ten). The next morning Deborah was found dead in her apartment and later the police and lead detective on the case, Penelope Penny Brooke (aka PP) find out from the background of Helen Brownstein's stream that it was a suicide using a mirror to beat herself in the face.

The next night Eddie had a game night with some of his friends, including Daniel, and some of his other costume designers (one of which being Rick Harper). Eventually, after they pulled out 'Twister' there was a "testicular mishap" between Eddie and Rick in which Eddie accused Rick of, quote, "sabotaging his nutsack". Rick and his spouse were forced out of the house but soon after Eddie ran out to them, 'the house had no outdoor surveillance", is what Detective PP had to say\*(see paragraph ten). February 28, the next morning just outside the studio's backdoor there was a box, with no shipping or return address, just an image of a clown painted in blood. The box was opened by Clive Butler himself in front of most of the crew, including Eddie/Blah Blah. Inside the box, they found Rick's decapitated head which was also painted like a clown in blood.

### Part 2

Police and news sources pointed fingers at Eddie and Wendy, who believed that even after all of this, the show must go on. later in the week, Eddie appeared on a talk show with a seemingly fun lady host. He tried to talk about the Blah Blah Bars but the host abruptly changes the subject, asking Eddie if he killed Rick, backing the question up with evidence and a motive. Every time he got stressed he'd start eating the chocolate, Eddie stood up and pulled out a gun, now forcing her to say that everything she says is bullshit and that it's all one big joke. Eddie pulled the trigger and out came a flag that said "BANG!" on it. Eddie ended the episode himself advertising the Blah Blah Bars as "so good you could just die". Clive is very open that there is only one month left until the Blah Blah Bars hit the stores and they needed to clean all this up quickly. He revealed that when he was eighteen he created Blah Blah the Clown and when he met Cassandra Butler they formed a relationship, she owns a candy shop, she would make the chocolate and he would do the clowning. Clive never got to marry Cassandra because she was run over on their wedding day, Clive had been looking for the recipe for this chocolate and eventually, he found it in her old bedroom, and that chocolate became the Blah Blah Bar.

Detective PP is still investigating, she questioned the only one who was with Rick that night, his spouse. They just said they didn't do it\* (see paragraph ten), which only left one suspect, Eddie. Just before leaving the station, Eddie visited the restroom, and soon after a policeman went in too, except, Eddie was the only one that left. The policeman was found with a slit throat, dead on the floor. Daniel Clemons was almost devastated (that's an overstatement). Just earlier in the week Detective PP had been checking the time on her watch with a mug of coffee in the same hand, spilling the coffee all over the evidence, so she had to throw it out and make new ones. Now, Eddie was pretty upset. He needed a lawyer, and he got one. He didn't want to pay too much so the lawyer was shit, he had one more request, to shoot one more episode of "Quiet Time" right there in prison.

Wendy came with puppets, makeup for Blah Blah, a tripod, and a duffel bag. A cop was standing beside them. Blah Blah opened with, "Hello, kids! They're not letting me do very much today. But that's all right! Because we have a very special episode in store, today we are getting the ***fuck*** out of jail!". Wendy proceeded to shoot the cop, lock the door with a chair, and look for keys to the restraints on Eddie's wrists. When she couldn't find any they resorted to Plan B, chopping off Eddie's hands with an axe.

### Part 3

The current president, Bryce Tankthrust, acknowledges the events taking place but reminds the Americans about her re-election coming up. Eddie and Wendy were now on the run, and Eddie had no hands either! Wendy stole some lady's car and they both crashed, but it turns out, they were still broadcasting the show. Seven hours after they escaped they arrived in Hawthorne, Nevada at 'Triple Dick's Hardware Store" and ordered the workers to make Eddie some new hands. They couldn't pay because the card was declined. By the time Detective PP got there, all three of the employees were dead with their faces painted like clowns. At the Orfiece Motel Wendy made Eddie some new hands when they were busted by Detective PP. She broke Wendy's ankle and Wendy was now in the custody of the police. It became a nationwide manhunt to find Eddie. Bryce Tankthrust deployed a federal SRT team to find him and eventually, they do. Eddie is now on trial and in court the only one actually defending him was Daniel. Eddie was ruled 'guilty' and sent to an insane asylum, The Bremmer Asylum.

Clive decided to become Blah Blah again and shot another episode.

Daniel Clemons sent a voicemail to the producers of the documentary. Someone came to his house and Daniel welcomed him in. Daniel explained if you look at the ingredients in the Blah Blah Bar you can find an ingredient called Halifax Harbosis, or HA HA for short, it makes you see clowns and was discovered by The Bremmer Asylum when Cassandra Butler worked there. She was fired for no reason at all and when she left she stole the formula for Halifax Harbosis eventually after she met Clive, she put it in what would become the Blah Blah Bar. People like Cassandra and Clive and Eddie and Wendy, love clowns so naturally, they would love the high, but the "victims" didn't\*. You bet that when Deborah looked into that mirror, she saw a clown. The police chalked up Rick's death to "the house had no outdoor surveillance" but the house next door did\*. If you watched the tapes over you could see Eddie apologizing profusely and then handing Rick a Blah Blah Bar. The indoor security cameras in Rick's house showed Rick's spouse eating the chocolate repeatedly and then cutting Rick's head off with a knife\*. The policeman's spycam showed him fanboy-ing over Eddie and stating that Eddie was probably innocent. Eddie handed him the chocolate and eventually, the policeman looks in the mirror stating that he'd never be as good of a clown as Eddie, and then slit his own throat. the people at Triple Dick's Hardware Store killed each other with saws and hammers and stuff.

Daniel decided to break Eddie out of the Asylum, which had been injecting Halifax Harbosis into him regularly. Eddie brought someone with him out of there when they saw Clive being Blah Blah on TV live. Eddie and Wendy(?) arrived on set and proceeded to call Clive a "cock-sucker" and throw a hammer at him. The children ran and Clive brought them into his office where he shot Wendy with a shotgun and *got* shot by Detective PP.

The End