Episode 248 - Split the Party

## Intro

**Episode description:**
N/A

**Opening Quote:**
**Kyle *(whispering)***: I never left.

**Player introduction:**
**Sean**: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Tabletop Champions podcast, I'm Sean your dungeon master and - \*seltzer can opening\* grip it and rip it.
**Kyle**: Fuck you.
**Sean**: Tonight we have Kyle...
**Kyle**: \*seltzer can opening\* Hi.
**Sean**: ...who plays -
**Kyle**: I don't play any characters apparently.
**Sean**: He plays Barry Dingle. Uh, Be- see I can't do the bit, because I throw myself off. Alright I won't do it any more Kyle. Ben who plays Balinor...
**Ben *(in Balinor's voice)***: Hello.
**Sean**: Matt who plays Wrath...
**Matt** ***(in Wrath's voice)***: For glory!
**Sean**: Stephanie who plays Kuviana...
**Stephanie** ***(in Kuviana's voice)***: Ahoy-hoy!
**Sean**: And Lauren who plays Ophelia.
**Lauren**: \*seltzer can opening\* Grip it and rip it boys.
**Sean**: Yeahhhhhh! That's my girl!
**Kyle**: I can't even get mad that someone's stealing the bit from me because I stole the bit from someone, so.
**Sean**: I know. It's a good bit, too.

## Episode Summary

The episode opens at the churro stand. Wrath is pouting, and Barry is feeding churros to Jingle to store them for later. They go back to the Bureau to find Welsh ready to attack intruders with a broom.

They plan their heist, despite Wrath's protests. He doesn't like the idea of working with the Twinkletoes Gang, but they have a lot of influence in the city, so the Bureau decides it's more practical to have them as allies than enemies. Wrath, disguised, will go to the records office and get blueprints of several houses, including the Dibblebecks', as well as the sewer system. Barry will start work on a counterfeit ring. Balinor will sneak to the manor and check it out, and see if he can get a description of the ring. Ophelia and Kuviana will figure out what disguises they have available. Balinor disguises Wrath to look like an overworked, greying office worker. For his own disguise he messes up his hair and rumples his clothes, and covers the mark on his arm.

Wrath goes to the town hall, where there is a fountain featuring a statue of a small girl skipping, holding a stuffed owlbear. He gets directions from a receptionist to the records office, and finds a line of 15 people. Impatient, he convinces the person at the back of the line to give him his spot in exchange for Wrath getting his permit for him. Rather than doing the same thing for the rest of the line, he waits for his turn, about 25 minutes.

Balinor makes his way to Westgate, and attracts some attention with his unkempt appearance. Some guards come and ask him what he's doing here. He says he's here for a job interview, but can't think of a name for who he's interviewing with. He tries to claim he made a wrong turn and should actually be in a different part of town, but the guards don't believe him and search him for drugs. He narrowly avoids arrest, but they take his coinpurse, making it seem to the growing crowd that it contained drugs. Balinor is sent on his way with a kick, and the crowd disperses. He finds somewhere in an alleyway to adjust his disguise to be less conspicuous. As he does, his coinpurse falls at his feet from a rooftop. He looks up to see a person, who salutes him and disappears. The purse is only short 3 of the 18 gold he had previously.

He makes his way to the manor. It has a single story except for a parapet on one side, a pitched roof and a courtyard out front. The courtyard has various topiary and fountains, and there are several workers putting up decorations for some kind of event. He talks to one of them, complimenting his work and asking about the celebration. Apparently it's for the Fallscrest festival, which is generally only celebrated in the north. The Dibblebecks bring it to Haven, and invite the richest of the rich from the whole region - people even come from Trenton. The man asks him if he's looking for work, and says he could make good money serving food. Balinor says he'd like that, and has a brief interview with someone named Tom. He's told to come for work at 4pm the day after tomorrow, knock on the back door, and ask for Tom.

Kuviana and Ophelia go to visit Charlie at the orphanage. They find an elderly mousefolk with a shriveled leg and a cane playing hide and seek with the children. Charlie is not among them. Dinner is announced, and the children head inside. Ophelia and Kuviana ask the old mousefolk about Charlie and his sister, and he tells them about the curse. Her breath shortens and her skin gets colder, slowly turning a sickening green from the chest outwards. She has hallucinations of dark things. Sometimes she has to be locked in her room because of violent fits. She's a sweet girl, not even ten. The mousefolk introduces himself as Clover Blossom, the councilman for this district. He takes them in to see Agatha, and they find her sleeping, with Charlie sitting at the foot of her bed. He recognizes Ophelia and Kuviana, and tells Clover they helped him. They look at Agatha, and see that she has a sickly green hue to her skin. Kuviana mentioned hags before, but this seems more like Undead to Ophelia. Ophelia feels like, given her specialization, she could cure her by taking some of the curse onto herself. If she doesn't, at some point this will take over and Agatha will be turned into some undead creature. Clover says this started about a month and a half ago, when she and Charlie arrived here. Charlie says they came from a small village in the Centaur Woods. Their parents died awhile ago in a fire, and they were making their way down here when the curse hit.

Ophelia takes on the curse. The lights flicker and the room shakes. Darkness goes from Agatha's wrist into Ophelia's.

**Secret Scene:** As this happens, Lilith notices small greyish tendrils of energy peel away from her and pour into Ophelia.

Ophelia feels her strength and wisdom being sapped, and then she feels a small surge of something and feels better. The lights and room settle, and the episode ends with Agatha taking a sudden breath.

## Memorable Quotes

**Sean**: Alright, you sold me, you used the word "eyeliner".

**Matt**: Is it wrong that I'm kind of nervous about this part now?
**Stephanie**: No, you got this!
**Sean**: No. You got this honey booboo child.

**Sean**: Congratulations, you are no longer fifteenth in line, you are fourteenth in line.

**Kyle**: Defund the Guard.

**Tom**: What's your biggest weakness?
**Balinor**: Hmmmmm.
**Lauren**: Emotional baggage.

## Trivia

* No matter what happens to the rest of Barry, his mustache remains pristine.
* Matt invented the briefcase in Irulan.
* The receptionist at the town hall sounds like Janine from Ghostbusters.
* Ophelia is Order of the Profane Soul.
* As she took on the curse, Ophelia's strength and wisdom scores dropped by 1 permanently. Because of the tendrils, Lilith's constitution score dropped by 1 permanently, and Ophelia's increased by 1.
* The city hall receptionist, Tom, and Balinor's new worker friend were introduced this episode.

### Stats

(DM)
(Balinor)
(Wrath)
(Ophelia)
(Kuviana)
 **Nat 20s** | 0
 **Nat 1s** | 0