Season 2, Episode 5: Dance Dance Revelations

*The following article contains spoilers for Season 2. Please listen to the season in its entirety or be warned!*

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**Dance Dance Revelations** is the 5th episode of season 2 of *Dungeons and Daddies*.

## Episode description

*It's the day of the big school dance, but WHO WILL THEY GO WITH?*

## Introduction

As light applause ends, Freddie's voice begins to make an introduction as Anthony shouts "the trumpet!" while Lou Bega's Mambo No. 5 plays with air horns mixed in.

## Rad Facts

* Taylor Swift (Freddie Wong): Taylor is scared of throwing stars because cut himself the first time he tried to use them and now claims they're impractical as a cover.
* Lincoln Li-Wilson (Matt Arnold): Link dresses up as future self, a professional soccer player every Halloween, and his dads dress up as his two biggest fans to support him. He's eats one candy each night until the next Halloween.
* Normal Oak (Will Campos): Normal has a big sister named Hero Oak.
* Theresa "Terry/Scary" Marlowe's (Beth May): Scary's first crush was the evil penguin in The Pebble and the Penguin.
* Dungeon Master (Anthony Burch): Anthony was late to the recording, which resulted in him meeting Beth's mom.

## Plot Summary

### The Gross Bathroom

On Friday, the day of the school dance, the Teens each receive messages on their badges in their respective classes at San Dimas High School directing them to meet in the "gross bathroom". Inside the bathroom, Agent Mae Hailes emerges from one of the stalls, covered in blood. To their horror, Agent Hailes reveals that she tortured the Tinkerer for information, kicking off an uncomfortable back-and-forth about the methods they want her to employ in the field. She reveals that she followed a lead to the conclusion that an incursion at the high school is likely to coincide with the dance before showing them that one of the stalls contains an elevator to an underground network connecting to their homes and D.A.D.D.I.E.S. headquarters.

Taylor declares adamantly that they cannot cancel the dance due to his date with Erica Drippins before Agent Hailes reveals that the incursion will likely take place within the auditorium itself, where the dance is being held. She also gives them ten Daddy Warbucks for successfully dispatching Abe Goul without incurring any collateral damage. Link asks about the relationship between D.A.D.D.I.E.S. and the FBI, and Agent Hailes replies that they steer clear of them and other law enforcement. She leaves the Teens to return to headquarters.

### Finding Dates

The discussion turns to finding dates for the dance. Link suggests that they just pair up and go together. Taylor insists that Erica is already his date and that he won't besmirch her name by committing to another date without confirmation. A knock sounds at the bathroom door, and they open it to find Hermie Unworthy, who explains that he was checking on Scary's well-being. He agrees to give her some space and leaves at Normal's urging. Link suggests that Scary pair up with himself or perhaps Normal, at which point she begins to stammer before declining by saying that going with friends is embarrassing, which Link takes as an affirmation of their friendship. He immediately reveals that the FBI visited his house, saying that he can't lie to friends.

Normal shows the others a set of tear-off flyers advertising each of them as potential dates to other students at the school. Link responds that he had planned to consult the results of the pervert survey and narrow it down to people who didn't think he was a pervert. He finds that only Erica had responded "no" but remains hesitant to step on Taylor's date. Taylor agrees to be Link's backup if Erica gets sick. Scary sets the condition that Normal can't wear his mascot costume as her date, and he resolves to find another date who will allow it. He sets off to put up flyers for himself, in costume, and Scary, as dates for the dance.

#### Normal

Taylor and Link immediately text Erica: Taylor to confirm that she's going with him and Link to also confirm that he'll need to find another date. Normal returns to his locker, and Hermie, following the instructions on Normal's flyer, greets him. Normal warily asks if Hermie is using him as a way to get close to Scary. He feigns indignation, convincing Normal that his intentions are pure, but immediately shows his hand by asking Normal to have Scary make it up to him. Normal entreats him to learn to be a nicer guy, and he tries to shove Normal into his own locker. Normal sidesteps him easily, and he smoothly recovers into a leaning position against the lockers. Hermie drops his façade and explains that he wants to be there to pick up the pieces when Scary falls apart, and Normal resolves to make Hermie forget his scheming.

#### Taylor

Taylor and Link receive Erica's replies: she confirms that Taylor has money and can pick her up (but that they will enter separately), and she asks Link how he got her number before confirming that she's going with Taylor because his mom is rich. Normal shares his plan to go with Hermie and try to fix him. Scary concedes that if she goes on a speed date and doesn't like who she meets, she'll go with Link. She opens her locker to find it filled with tickets from prospective dates.

#### Scary

Marching band member Becca Cornstarch (played by Will) approaches Scary and starts to gush about her flyer, but Scary cuts her off before she can finish a sentence. Australian student Dick Spencer (Anthony) follows but withdraws upon learning that she doesn't have a dick for him to pleasure. Billy Steezcake (Freddie) explains that he saw the flyer coming back from the weight room. He impresses her with his taste for classic rock (referring to bands from the 2000s), and she agrees to go with him. As she does, Yarn the Untangler (Matt) comes sprinting up to them, only to find that the position filled, and he immediately runs off as he doesn't attend San Dimas High. As Scary returns to the group, Link asks Scary if she found a date, and she agrees to go with him, immediately blowing off Billy Steezcake.

### Dance Preparations

The discussion turns to the the incursion that's set to occur at the dance. Taylor suggests preparing weaponry for the event. They return to the Gross Bathroom and use the fast-travel toilet to return to D.A.D.D.I.E.S headquarters. They spend ten Daddy Warbucks on a jeweled key, which Scary uses to open a lock in the Obsidian Door. Upon opening the door, she gains a level and hears the voice of Lark or Sparrow Oak shouting "Power!"

The Teens load into Taylor's rented party bus and head to the home of Erica Drippins. When Taylor, wearing an RX-78 Gundam cosplay suit, knocks on the door and asks after Erica, her mother informs him that Erica has already left to meet him at the dance. He returns to the group as Link, wearing his best soccer jersey, is distributing corsages and friendship bracelets to everyone. When they reach the house of Hermie Unworthy, Normal exits the vehicle, still wearing the mascot suit and dressed in an oversized tuxedo t-shirt and black athletic shorts. Hermie greets Normal at the door, wearing a full tuxedo, greets him confidently, and strolls past him towards the bus. The rest of the Teens look on in absolute shock at Hermie's display. The Teens call a meeting of the bracelet holders.

Link announces that this is work so he plans to not have fun. Normal tries to explain what's going on to Hermie, and he steps off the bus, finding Normal's claims strange. The group convinces him that it was a joke, and he gets back onto the bus. From there, the bus takes them to the dance as the film *Homeward Bound II* plays. From outside the school, they hear the voice of Pepperoni Tony narrating the dance and spiraling into crying about his deteriorating marriage.

### The Dance

The Teens enter the dance as Darude's Sandstorm is playing. Taylor glances about for Erica but doesn't see her in the room. He pulls out his phone to text her, but the battery dies as he does. He notices Margarita Pizza sitting in the corner alone, crying, and asks her where Erica is. Link supersedes his questioning and asks if she's okay, and she explains she's crying about her father sharing their family problems and her date abandoning her. At that moment, she realizes that her date must have abandoned her to go to the parking lot where the popular kids hang out instead of attending the dance, possibly with Erica (to Taylor's outrage). Normal suggests that Margarita join them. She remains reluctant, but Scary and Link convince her.

As they reach the dance floor, they see Lark and Sparrow Oak dancing, and the pair enthusiastically greet Normal.

## Quotes

* "As a reminder, there's no going stag to the dance. You have to have a date. We're not allowing no losers at the dance. You have to have a date, and you gotta kiss 'em. That's the rules. No losers. Pepperoni Tony out!" - *Vice Principal Pepperoni Tony*
* "No horse can really be injured as long as they're in your heart." - *Agent Mae Hailes*
* "That kitten's got claws." - *Hermie Unworthy*
* "Hey Erica, it's Link. Hope your teeth are better. Sorry about my hand in your mouth, but glad it all worked out. Anyways, I just need to know if you're going to the dance with Taylor not a big deal just your answer will decide if I need to find another date. Have a great day at keeping your best self. Best, Link." *Link Wilson's text to Erica Drippins*
* "If you're suggesting that I would want to hang out with a man who refuses to take off a mascot costume just subtly to increase my own cache by seeming so much more attractive by comparison in a formal situation, if you're implying that I have some sort of machinations that you are merely a gear in a larger cog and machinery of... Frankly that's offensive, to think that I could be so... *devious*." *- Hermie Unworthy to Normal Oak*
* "You're a nice guy.. I mean you're not, but if you learned to be a nice guy I bet you could- some nice girl, or guy, or fella, or lady, or whoever would like you, so just maybe try to not be so much of a creep in the future." *- Normal Oak to Hermie Unworthy*
* "Dick Spencer, Australian. Dick Spencer's the name, dick pleasure is the game." - *Dick Spencer*
* "I can't not be cool, I'm Hermie the Unworthy." - *Hermie Unworthy*

## Trivia

* The episode title is a reference the Dance Dance Revolution series of video games.
* Hermie Unworthy comment that Normal has no prospects is a reference to the Jane Austen novel *Pride and Prejudice*
* Freddie's character Billy Steezcake lists bands from the mid-2000s 30 Seconds to Mars, Paramore, Panic! at the Disco, and fictional band Led Zeppelin 2 as his favorite classic rock bands.

## Continuity

* Beth rolled a 59 to check for Scary's early death for being left-handed and a 10 for the Kellog K Nife, meaning she survived and did not masturbate recently.
* The Teens reach level 2 at the beginning of the episode.
* Scary reaches level 3 by opening a lock on the Obsidian Door.