Episode 47: Kristy and the Baby Parade

The episode for "Kristy and the Baby Parade" was originally released on January 16, 2017. **You can listen to it here.** This episode is 57:38 long.This week's ghostwriter: Ellen Miles.

*Previous:* Episode 46: Dawn and the Big Sleepover | *Next:* Episode 48: Mary Anne Misses Logan | *Or,* see all episodes.

## Official Episode Description

It's been awhile since we had some good, clean baby-sitting fun, but that's what Kristy always brings to the table, and this "Baby Parade" lark is no different. Sit back, relax, and enjoy what can only be described as a romp, as Kristy Thomas pits baby against baby in a bloody, catastrophic battle for the future of civilization, while Jack and Tanner have a good, old-fashioned gossip sesh about Communism and Killer Dolls.

## Music Credits

* “Spooky Ride,” by Twin Musicom
* “8-Bit Black Parade,” by 8-Bit Sound
* “Electro Upbeat EDM,” by Metro
* “Red Army Choir Russian National Anthem,” by Yurttan Haberler
* Original Intro by Scott Lamb
* Superbrat Outro by Superbrat

## Book Description

Tanner gets psyched out and the result is "a hot mess," but finishes the description in time. Leaves some things off the table for "intrigue."

## Segments

###  Burn Of The Week

Jack: that Slim Peabody is the Marshall of the Baby Parade.

Tanner: how no one would let Slim do an encore.

###  Deep Voice Boys

Roleplay: Jack is Goliath Hardbody, CEO of Hardbody Industries. Tanner is Rich Richson, the CEO of Synertech, newly merged with Hardbody Industries and new VP. Richson is working 80 hours a week and never sees his wife and kids, but is also now a RO (refreshment officer).

###  Great American Novel of the Week

Tanner brings up the segment this week, and makes Jack play BSC novel or Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto.

###  Jack Googles

Introduction of the Jack Googles theme song, as Jack looks up the "Three Little Kittens" poem.

###  Mike Check

Week #2: Jack checks in on Michael Crabtree, receiver for the San Francisco 49ers in 2009. Tanner checks in on his favorite Mike, “Mike-chelle” Obama.

## Theories

###  Bread Theory

Broth without any bread - bread equals pleasure and life.

“These books are bread, and that’s all I can say at this time.”

## Jack's References

* Jack channels a My Chemical Romance song and then Tanner Sings an edited version of Sugar, We're Goin Down by Fall Out Boy: "I'm just a float in your baby parade / but you're just a line in my song."
* This novel is "a grotesque, a satire... Hogarth-esque”
* Taylor Swift's *1989*
* Floats signify the six stages of civilization
* George II and the South Sea Bubble

## Tanner's References

* GCBSF and a callback to the “baby fight” BSC narrative (see the types in Episode 25: Kristy and the Mother’s Day Surprise); Tanner calls out baby event + fight in Episode 25: Kristy and the Mother’s Day Surprise, Episode 16: Little Miss Stoneybrook...and Dawn
* Comic books and the “.1” issue: Marvel gives you Spiderman 701.1.
* *A Modest Proposal* by Johnathan Swift
* Quentin Tarantino
* ”That’s a lid.” C. J. Cregg  from *The West Wing*
* ”Can we talk about ‘head first networking’?”
* Max Headroom

## Notes

* A discussion of the aural effects of Mac n cheese.
* ”My mouth is full of teeth and blood.”
* ”My soul recognizes your soul.”
* This is the episode where Jack recites the Three Little Kittens poem and Tanner gives Jack notes on how to read it. It is hysterical. Start around 26:40 in the episode.
* Crystal Light the Second: “such a moment of time”, “I don’t want to do a 90s nostalgia thing necessarily.” (Lol)
* Tanner’s 2017 goldfish name is “Bottleflip Dab”. Jack tries “New Frank Ocean”. (Tanner adds that he had to explain “dabbing” to Jack at lunch this day.)

## References & Links

1. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Black\_Parade
2. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhG-vLZrb-g
3. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William\_Hogarth
4. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1989\_(album)
5. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South\_Sea\_Company
6. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A\_Modest\_Proposal
7. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C.\_J.\_Cregg
8. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max\_Headroom
9. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three\_Little\_Kittens
10. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bottle\_flipping
11. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dab\_(dance)

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