New Vegas: Wild Wild Wasteland....

Truly wild or took one too many chems?

*Ulysses said to Lanius, "*Why don't you le-get some bitches?*". The Courier and Ulysses start laughing. Lanius replied, "*This is no time for jokes, we shall fight once again soon.*". The Courier grabbed a bottle of alcohol and smashed it on Lanius, then lit him on fire. The Courier said, "*And now we have two burned legates.*". Graham, who was still there, couldn't help himself and started laughing. Vulpes sighed, "*And here I was thinking I'd fight worthy opponents.*".*

*Easy Pete was taking it easy, when some Powder Gangers decided to go a second round with Goodsprings. Pete saw the incoming force and stood up, walking to an open area. One of the Gangers said, "*Hey old man! You're gonna die for killing Joe!*". Ease Pete knew what had to be done... And he suddenly wasn't so easy anymore. Out of nowhere, Pete became super buff and was now Difficult Pete. Pete said, "*Last chance to leave, boys.*". The Gangers didn't listen. Pete continued, "*Now listen here you damn whippersnappers, y'all gonna regret messin' with Difficult Pete and the town of Goodsprings.". *Difficult Pete causally flexed in front of the Gangers, most of them watched in confusion while one of them pissed themselves in terror. Pete equipped his godly unlimited supply of dynamite and chucking them at the Gangers who by now were running away after pissing and shitting themselves because they were no match for Difficult Pete. Pete said,* "Yeah, that'll teach you all! Bastards...". *Pete sat down in his chair and became gold old, normal Easy Pete. Just an old man, taking it easy, doing nothing out of the ordinary... Except being buff as fuck, being totally badass and shoving dynamite up the asses of all who defy him and watched them explode... Yeah, takin' it easy...*

*House asked, "*Jane, where the fuck is my favorite snowglobe?*". Jane replied, "*It's still missing, sugar*.". House said, "*Tell the Courier I'll pay double if he finds it, I want that snowglobe found.*". Victor asked, "*Sir, why the obsession with snowglobes?*", House replied, "*Have you seen the Lucky 38 basement? If you were to go down there, you wouldn't be able to move, because every inch of the basement is filled with snowglobes. 3 of the 6 rooms in the suite are filled with snowglobes, the cocktail lounge is filled with snowglobes, and the back half of this penthouse is filled with snowglobes*.". Jane leaned over to Victor and whispered, "*House really likes snowglobes...*". House randomly started ranting again, "*The Courier's bathroom is filled with snowglobes, the casino floor is filled with snowglobes, my resort is filled with snowglobes, the room behind that secret door is filled with snowglobes...*". Victor whispered to Jane, "*Where does he even get all of them?*", Jane replied, "*I really don't know... It's frightening... It's like a jet addiction, but with snowglobes...*". House was still ranting on and on about snowglobes, and he didn't stop. Just then, the elevator opened and started blasting out an ungodly amount of snowglobes, Jane said,* “I wish I was never created.”, *Victor agreed,* “Yep… We’re in snowglobe hell.” *House yelled,* "Stop drowning in my snowglobes and go find my missing snowglobe!!!"

*Benny was minding his own business in the casino floor. It was a normal day, or maybe it was all sorts of fucking crazy and he just didn't know. For being the Courier's BFF, Benny was given 5 Madre gold bars, one of them he had melted down and used it to guild his pistol Maria, his suit, and a few other things around the casino. He walked up to Swank and said, "*Hey, how about you take a break, yeah? I got some chicks up in the suite, go have yourself a good time*". The Courier walked into the casino and walked up to Benny, "*How's things going here?*”, Benny replied,* “Great, surprisingly. Ever since Big Sal and Nero bit the curb against Cachino, there’s been more people coming to the Tops. I heard the White Gloves had some shit go down, Gunderson attacked those finks or something. And ya know, House seems to be ok with all of that. And if the big man is good, then I’m good.”. *The Courier said something while Benny drank some scotch,* “Have you heard about the Great Kahns? Papa Kahn wants your head.”. *Benny spat out the scotch he just drank,* “What in the goddamn?”. *The Courier replied,* “Don’t worry man, I got your back. I’ll swing by Red Rock and talk it out for you. I’m on good terms with the Kahns, so I’m sure I can strike a deal between you two.”. *Benny said,* “Oh, great. For a second I thought they were going to storm the Strip.”, *the Courier laughed,* “And be shot down by an army of Mk 2 Securitrons? Not a damn thing would dare go up against the Securitron army.”. *Benny pulled 2 small vials of liquid out of his suit and said,* “You see these? One’s poison, the other’s liquor. Best part is, they’re the strongest brewed in all of the Mojave. The poison will kill anyone the moment it touches their tongue, and the liquor will get anyone really fucking drunk the moment it touches their tongue.”. *The Courier asked,* “Benny, why…?”. *Benny replied,* “I’m the mob boss of Vegas, baby. I can do whatever I want. Get cash, cook some Jet, make a deadly poison, who cares?!”. *Benny sipped half of the liquor, handed the other half to the Courier and said,* “This is fucking awesome, man. Drink the rest.”. *The Courier drank the second half. Both Benny and the Courier saw a hallucination of Caesar in his underwear dancing a jig atop a blackjack table while calling everyone ‘filthy degenerates’. The Courier and Benny looked at each other and started laughing their asses off. Shortly after, they stumbled over to the suite elevator and took it up to the room, then rested there until the liquor wore off.*