Tara Does The Twist, ESP Goes All Fluffy

Tara Does The Twist, ESP Goes All Fluffy is the ninth chapter in the Wombles Three.

“Ready now Professor?” asked Grandma.  “Ja ist gut!” replied Oslo Von Vomble.  What happened next was not what Grandma expected.  Oslo knocked him out, released Tara and the two of them clamped Grandma to the chair.  Tara released the octopus which was now clinging tightly to Grandma’s head. Small needles came out of the tentacles. Grandma tried to scream but he couldn’t. The octopus turned blue.  Oslo threw a switch.  Tara ducked.  Oslo quacked then pressed the start button.  A bolt of electricity struck the octopus and Grandma.  The octopus was now like a pulsing rainbow.

“Is it my favourite bit now?” asked Tara.  “Ja!” replied Oslo and wheeled the chair into another room.  He left it in there and switched on a screen. It showed Grandma with the octopus to start but then something else appeared.  A huge flower was dancing hypnotically around the chair.  The eyes of the octopus glazed over.  Grandma was already like a zombie.  “Now ve are finished Ja!” shouted Oslo.  Tara fetched the chair and released Grandma.  “Grandma make me a brandy!” she said.  Grandma did as commanded.  “Toast!” she shouted.  Grandma poured himself a brandy and chinked Tara’s glass.  “No!  Toast not A toast!” she shouted louder.  Grandma made toast and gave it to her.  “He ist ready Ja!”  “Yes” agreed Tara “Now he can join WOOF!”

Steed turned the fake marriage papers over and saw a big red stamp that said divorced on it.  “Oh” he said. “These aren’t the fake ones at all. We better go and find them then.” Cathy was surprised.  “Aren’t you going to tell me that I shouldn’t be doing that in my condition?”  “Oh good point I forgot about that.  You stay here with Dr King then.”  “You mean you’re going alone?”  “I don’t really have any other choice.”  “Well… alright then.”  So Steed went off, leaving Cathy to wish she had never mentioned the pregnancy.

DOV was feeding Pickles some bones some bones some dry bones.  All of a sudden she stopped being a dog and wondered why she was chewing on a dry bone.  Steed suddenly came in.  “Mrs Peel! I found you!” he said.  “Steed!” said Mrs Peel delightedly.  “Now then” said Steed.  “Give me the fake marriage papers!”  “Why?” asked Mrs Peel.  “So that I can destroy them!” replied Steed.  “No”  “yes” “No” “Yes”  “No”  “Yes” “No”  “Yes”  “Yes” “No” “Go on then.”  Mrs Peel felt she had no other choice so reluctantly gave them to him and he ripped them to pieces.  Mrs Peel was upset.

Steed began to walk home and Mrs Peel sneakily followed behind.  She even managed to get into the house.  Once they were in, she grabbed Steed and Cathy’s machete and swung it at Cathy she dodged, grabbed it, and swung it back. Mrs Peel didn’t dodge.  “Oh” said Steed.  “It appears we are now both murderers!”  “Well she had gone evil.”  “I suppose but I killed Venus and she hadn’t.”  “Well at that point you had gone evil.”  “Mm.”

There was a banging noise from the kitchen.  “Who is in our kitchen?”  Asked Cathy half afraid that Mrs Peel’s ghost had already started to haunt her.  “ESP” said Steed.  “Why?” asked Dr King.  “Because she was making you and Cathy think you were dogs.” He replied.  “Can I have her as my dog?” asked Cathy.  “Sure you can!” Steed replied then opened the door and blew that whistle.  A bird flew by singing tweet tweet.  ESP not only went on all fours but actually looked like a dog.  A poodle with a silly hair cut.  “Thank you!” shouted Cathy and took her new dog Fluffy for a walk.

Bungo was outside throwing Freckles for Rover.  Cathy started throwing Fluffy and asked Bungo why he wasn’t leading the wombles any more.  “Boring!  Anyway I like being an Avenger better.”  “OK” said Cathy and carried on her walk with Fluffy.

Back in Tomsk Lord Omsk was annoyed.  “Professor we have lost control of ESP!”  “Never mind Ja, ve can alvays put Grandma in charge!  Is gut ja?”  “Da” replied Lord Omsk.  They gave Grandma his instructions and sent him back to England to take command of WOOF. Actually they had told the octopus and the octopus told Grandma because the octopus controlled Grandma’s mind. The octopus thought the Womble Eating Lily was controlling it’s mind.  It was a bit confusing but Grandma drove the C Class back to the airport where his pilot was waiting.

Several hours later Grandma walked into Paradise.  “DOV I am in command now!  ESP is controlled by the enemy and they have the whistle!” he screamed loudly. DOV, POL and Ronda all clicked their heels and saluted.  Then they marched smartly behind Grandma to hunt for the whistle.  A man was walking his dog on the common.  The man looked terrified.  He pulled out his mobile to call the police.  Then he realised you can’t call the police with a ceiling decoration. So he used his phone instead.

“Hello I’ve just seen four weird people come out of the ground!  All with a multi-coloured octopus on their head.” He sounded quite serious but the policeman didn’t think so.  “You do know sir that wasting police time is a chargable offence?” asked the policeman.

One Ten was looking for a pen.  He wanted to be promoted again.  But he didn’t know when.  And then…Mother said it’s time to go.  So he took to his toes.  In his career there’d been highs and lows.  Now it was a time of need.  They had to report to Major Steed.

Mesmorised Uncle Bulgaria accidentally cut off the head of the plant. The plant shrivelled up and died. Suddenly the wombles wondered why they were standing round a tower.