Asherpate's cars series 3 episode 30: 1995 Dura Lube 500

One race before history. Sadly, Jeff Gorvette didn't lead any laps this race.

## Transcript

Jeff Gorvette: I'm tired of Eugene Carbureski! He's the mean pink car!

Dale Earnhardt: I agree! He's my rival!

(Qualifying)

Ray Reverham: Ok, you're starting 3rd!

Jeff Gorvette: I must draft on whoever is on the pole!

(The race starts)

Ken Squier: Green flag is out and the race is on!

Jeff Gorvette: Time for the lead!

(lap 232)

The King: Outside of the 86.

Cal Weathers: Ok! (goes into the outside)

Spike: Cal Weathers goes into the outside of the mean green car, Chick Hicks, and takes the lead!

Chick Hicks: SCREW YOU, CAL WEATHERS! (does a PIT maneuver on Cal Weathers)

Ned Carrett: Oh trouble! Cal Weathers gets turned by Chick Hicks and into the inside wall hard!

Ken Squier: Though break for the son of The King, Cal Weathers!

Cal Weathers: Oh no! I crashed again!

The King: It's ok, son. We'll get it next time.

Cal Weathers: Ok!

Ken Squier: Chick Hicks will go to the caution flag to lead lap 232!

(restart)

Ken Squier: Murray Clutchburn is the new leader as we come back on the restart!

(finish)

Murray Clutchburn: Must get my first win since my bad crash at Nightdona!

Chick Hicks: NOPE! (blocks Murray Clutchburn)

Ken Squier: OH NO! CHICK HCIKS BLOCKS MURRAY CLUTCHBURN! Now he wins at Phoenix!

Chick Hicks: HA HA HA! YOU'RE MULLY CRAPBURN!

Murray Clutchburn: THAT'S NOT FAIR!

Jeff Gorvette: Yeah! Be nice to Murray! You're the mean green car Chick! Go away!

Chick Hicks: UGH! FINE!

(after the race)

Jeff Gorvette: I can't believe there are many mean cars! Such dumb cars they are!

Jeff's Hauler: They sure are. The Intimidator Rules!

Jeff Gorvette: Yes he does. I need your help.

Jeff's Hauler: Yeah sure Jeff. What do you want me to do.

Jeff Gorvette: Simple. We steal some mean cars and put them in your trailer. We will put my rival Rusty Wallace and some other cars.

(later Jeff is seen pushing Rusty Wallace, Chick Hicks, Eugene Carbureski, and Jonathan Melter into the trailer)

Jeff Gorvette: Ok so we got Chick, Eugene, Jonathan, and of course my enemy Rusty. Unfortunately Andrew, Ron and Kyle are not in my trailer yet but hey we at least got Andrew and Ron's fellow mean racers and in Kyle's case his rival.

Dale Earnhardt: Of course we got Eugene as well.

Rowley Boltstrike: Chick too.

Jeff Gorvette: Ok hauler so we all are sending all of them to return to the Abstract Thought instead of home. LET'S A GOOOO!

Jeff's Hauler: Got it!

(inside hauler)

Eugene Carburaski (asleep): Oh we are going already? Alright.

(later all are dumped at Abstract Thought)

Abstract Thought turns on, everything starts to float and Chick wakes up)

Chick Hicks: Uh oh! I think we are in the Abstract Thought again!

Rusty Wallace: OH NO! WE'RE GONNA GET THOUGH THOSE STAGES AGAIN!

Johnathan Melter: I HATE THIS!

Eugene Carburaski: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!

(Eugene, Chick, Rusty, and Johnathan escape)

Johnathan Melter: Phew! I almost turned into a Picasso-esque blocky structure!

Eugene Carburaski: You know, Johnathan. There are 4 stages in the Abstract Thought: Non-Objective Fragmentation, Deconstruction, 2-Dimensionalization and Non-Figurativity.

Johnathan Melter: What do they do?

Eugene Carburaski: Non-Objective Fragmentation is where you become a Picasso-esque blocky structure. Deconstruction is when our bodies start to break up and fall apart. 2-Dementionalization is where the screen squeeses on us and turned us into 2-D drawings. And Non-Figurativity is when we become nothing but single-colored inspirations.

Johnathan Melter: Ok! I know them now.

Chick Hicks: Come on, guys! We don't want to muss the Dinoco 400!

Eugene Carburaski: Ok!

(Chick, Eugene, Rusty and Johnathan drove to their haulers to get to the Dinoco 400)

(meanwhile in Jeff Gorvette's hauler)

Jeff Gorvette: I hope Chick, Eugene, Rusty and Johnathan won't come to the Dinoco 400.

Dale Earnhardt: I know. Then the crowd won't be disaponting.

Rowley Boltstrike: I'm glad to win my rookie Piston Cup.

Jeff Gorvette: We'll see, Rowley.