A Really Elaborate Lie/Confessionals

### Day 11

A third loss, and that means I have to betray someone I absolutely adore... good lord. I really didn't think I'd need to be doing this until like day 30 or something. Ughhhh :'(.
I don't want any of them to feel betrayed but I feel like there's no way of getting around that. Losing so much is forcing us to play like it's the merge but we're only three rounds in, it's just a lot. I probably cursed this tribe too by calling our pink buffs a good omen the first day DFJKFSJDKJK so there's that.
At this point I think Nicole and I are most loyal to each other so it's down to Jerry and Julia. I have no clue who to vote for between those two. Ugh yikes.......

### Day 12

anyways i can't believe my tribe's score of 12 actually won... that challenge was so fucking hard and ridiculous LOL. i never had felt more stupid while doing an org challenge (sans maverick bird but i only really feel anger when i play that).
anyways to sum up what's been happening with my game so far is that it's been pretty lowkey, the STAB group chat is going strong. i'm not sure if they will be loyal to me or not, but i'll keep it in mind. i honestly just remembered that blaine is a br\*\*\* stan so i'm gonna make sure we never talk about big brother... it's truly his only flaw, other than that i wanna show him that i'm loyal this time around because we didn't really get the chance to work together in legends ))):
but i also visited the observatory during the 3rd round of the game where antoine got voted out (i feel so bad, he seems like a player with potential - i hosted him in yoshorg. i actually hosted a few of these people in yoshorg but i went MIA at one point rip) and that was quite the ride to see how the entire observatory thing went. i got to talk to fariha and nicole, both of who are really nice girls. nicole told me she got an option to mutiny during a challenge in the game or if she gets to merge, she can make us have an unmerge into two tribes, one with her as the team captain and the other being randomized. i'm not sure how true this is, but if it is, it's quite overpowered tbh. but yeah, hopefully this is legit??? idk i haven't told anyone and i think i'll keep this bargaining chip to myself for the future. fariha is very sweet as well, it's super cool to be able to see another bengali person on the org!! hopefully i get to work with these 2 girls down the road, as nicole suggested a potential girls alliance in the future, which i am down for!!
okay sorry, this got super lengthy LOL but i realllly hope i get to merge. getting premerge would make me so sad

Major development 1: Idol clues, I've narrowed it down to like only really single digit possibilities, so someone is gonna find it soon I bet. Issue is is Major Development 2
Major Development 2: Karim got the advantage and got to ask a question, and hey guess what kids? There's a swap after this tribal. Greeeeeaaaat. So whatever, plan is unless I got a majority of 4 non-Bri oranges I'm gonna just try and kiss everyone else's ass over there and see what works. Bri needs to go like holy fuck she should have struck out by now. She needs to get 14th lmao and hopefully I can fulfill that.
Otherwise we have Major Development 3: New info about the observatory. So there's the whole 4 elements thing and now I know: AVOID FIRE AT ALL COSTS JESUS CHRIST. 2048 is like, my kryptonite. As I've said before, top 3 comp beast on discord. 2048 is the one thing I can't figure out. Ever. I don't get why I can't but I just haven't yet. So yeah, I'm not going anywhere near that fucking place.

Now that I know my name's out there, I'm really going all-in to mess this stuff up. I don't have to feel like shit emotionally anymore and I can just do the absolute MOST to make this vote work in my favor, woo!
Rn I'm pressuring Jerry to throw out a name. He's ridiculously stubborn but I want to wear him down. I'm hoping he throws out Julia's name or something, that way I can use it against him. I know I've got Nicole, but I really want to avoid getting into a tie situation. The problem is, Julia hasn't said a word to me about the vote, so idk what her side is, if she was the one to first throw my name out or Jerry.
Ugh this is so frustrating, just last night I was like "plz someone target me and make this easy" and now it seems like TWO people are writing my name down and I have no idea what to do to convince one of them to flip. If I just go all-out and admit that I know, that exposes Nicole, which ik she's not comfortable with. Ugh, decisions, decisions... if I go out in 15th, at least I tried my hardest this game SJFDJKSDF but it'd be disappointing for sure.