Manchester Adventure

**The Manchester Adventure** (Friday 6th April – Sunday 8th April 2018) was Spears' and McCauliffe's first ever visit and experience of Manchester.

## Friday

The journey began Friday evening at around 7pm, when McCauliffe picked Spears up and they started towards Manchester. The two joked about how the North was just a big mine shaft which they would eventual enter the further towards Manchester they become.

### The Service Station

After 2-and-a-bit hours driving, the pair decided to 'stretch their legs' by sitting down with a coffee in a Service station. McCauliffe complimented how Service Station facilities always were clean and refreshing when you entered them, however she quickly had to eat her words when she visited the toilets at this service station, as she genuinely thought somebody might have passed away in there.

### Jews

Whilst en route to the flat, Spears and McCauliffe passed a huge statue which resembled the menorah. Commenting on this, the duo realised that they were in fact passing the Jewish Museum of Manchester. They both stated how you rarely see Jewish people, in full religious dress. However, no sooner had the words left the lips, both McCauliffe and Spears found themselves surrounded by the Sabbath. The two had never before seen so many jews in one place. They appeared so suddenly McCauliffe exclaimed 'are we in Jerusalem?!'

### Anaconda Street

When arriving at J and H's flat, the two could not figure out what flat they would be in. Taking a left, they saw a street called Anaconda Street. Naturally the pair went down it and began singing Niki Minaj's hit single. Luckily their car was spotted by J who text Hones to tell him that they had driven right by him.

## Saturday

### **Exploring Manchester**

The two were taken around Manchester by James and Holly, who Spears and McCauliffe had started to fall in love with a bit. They were so cute together and they both fucking can't stand Jeremy Corbyn either.

### **Having a Gay Ol' Time**

I don't even know where to start with this bit

Spears and McCauliffe found themselves walking to some ~~guys~~ \*gays house, McCauliffe a little slower than J and Spears, as she was wearing those stacks she always wears. Clark lead them into a really fucking nice ass apartment where they were greeted by a chubby guy called Joshua, an aspiring stand up comedian. Before long they were joined by a rather flamboyant character who was absolutely hilarious, and I wish I had an audio-note running at the time so I could have captured everything he said. He worked with refugees, but, due to a stressful day, explained how he wished they had drowned on their journey to the UK. The duo were also introduced to his ex partner Kryton.

Pre drinks took place here, and songs were played on the TV. Eventually, it ended up with James arguing that, although he is not right wing, public figures on the right are defending free speech and liberal values far better than the left are. Joshua disagreed, wagering that Trump's win was detrimental to the advancement of black, women's and LGBT rights. Spears sat on the end singing Mariah Carey.

After pre drinks, the squad eventually made their way down to Canal Street - Manchester's gay quarter. Affectionately known also as 'Anal Street, the squad made their way through several bars including Manchester's multi-storey G-A-Y equivalent. Spears made out with two men, one whom he made out with because he was bored and another whom already had a boyfriend. As Spears is writing this, he has just remembered that a girl actually came up to him that evening and asked if McCauliffe was single. Spears can't remember his response, but he likes the idea of McCauliffe reading this and realising that that happened.