Captain Cortex, Admiral Ripto, Assistant Captain Bowser, their Pirates, and Gulp/Slumberland’s Greatest Criminal Minds

*(In Slumberland, which is a beautiful small island, was a pirate ship docked in the south lagoon. And on board, all the pirates are heard singing)*

Pirates: **Oh, a pirate’s life**

**Is a wonderful life**

**A-rovin’ over the sea**

**Give me a career**

**As a buccaneer**

**It’s the life of a pirate for me**

**Oh, a life of a pirate for me**

*(On the ship, there were various villains on board, doing their usual business such as swabbing the deck and doing busy things, and they were Captain Cortex, Admiral Ripto, and Assistant Captain Bowser’s crew. And here come the introductions. There is a tall, half-bald old man who is very sinister-looking with white hair, red eyes, and wearing a black fedora hat with a black band, a black long-sleeved shirt, black pants, black socks, a black vest, a black necktie, a black trench coat, black boots, a black cape, black rubber gloves, and black sunglasses. He is Judge Doom, the executioner of the crew. With him are five male weasels. The first weasel is a brown-furred humanoid weasel with a cream muzzle, ears, palms, soles, and underbelly, a black nose and eyebrows, sharp yellow fangs, and wearing a pink fedora with a hot pink band, a pink long-sleeved jacket with four orange horizontal buttons, a hot pink necktie with a diamond clip on it, a gold pocket watch in his suit's pocket, a white long-sleeved shirt underneath, and white spats on his feet. He is Smarty, leader of the Toon Patrol and gangster of the crew. The second weasel is a dark brown furred humanoid weasel with a light brown muzzle, ears, palms, soles, and underbelly, short slick black hair, a black nose and eyebrows, sharp dark brown claws, sharp yellow fangs, and wearing a green fedora with a black ribbon, a green long-sleeved trench coat, a white long-sleeved shirt, green pants, a pink necktie, and white and black golf shoes. He is Greasy, the suave member of the Toon Patrol and gangster of the crew. The third weasel is a brown-furred humanoid weasel with a light brown muzzle, ears, palms, soles, and underbelly, thin black eyebrows, blue eyes with yellow swirls like a crazy person, yellow fangs, a black nose, and spiky short hair, and wearing a white straightjacket. He is Psycho, the hyperactive member of the Toon Patrol and gangster of the crew. The fourth weasel is a brown-furred humanoid weasel with a cream muzzle, ears, palms, soles, and underbelly, black rings around his eyes, a tongue lolling out of his mouth, a goofy look, yellow human-like teeth, a black nose, sharp brown claws, and wearing a red and yellow striped bowl hat with a spinning propeller, a white and blue striped short-sleeved shirt, and blue and white shoes with the laces untied. He is Stupid, the dumb member of the Toon Patrol and gangster of the crew. And the last weasel is a light blue-furred humanoid weasel with a pale blue muzzle, ears, palms, soles, and underbelly, yellow nicotine-stained fingers, a black nose, sharp yellow fangs, and bloodshot eyes, and wearing a gray newsboy hat, a light gray long-sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a loose black necktie, and a black vest. He is Wheezy, the smoking member of the Toon Patrol and gangster of the crew. The second crew member is a tall, ugly bergen with purple skin and nails, yellow eyes with red irises, a pink nose, pointy ears, light blue hair, an enormous chin, and wears a white chef's hat, a white long-sleeved chef's coat, a brown fanny pack, gold earrings, and brown pants. She is Chef Bergen, master chef of the crew. The third crew member is a mutant potoroo with brown fur, a cream underbelly, black slick hair with a curl in the back, a pink interior in the ears, a black nose, and wearing a red long-sleeved business suit with orange trims over a green long-sleeved shirt, a black necktie, black fingerless gloves, a black belt, red pants, and black shoes and sometimes wielded a machine gun. He is Pinstripe Potoroo, also the gangster of the crew. The fourth crew member is a mutant muscular koala with gray fur, black ears with the pink interior, a tiny black hair sprout on top of his head, a black tuft fur sticking out of his chest, brown eyes, a black nose, and black claws and wearing a red tanktop, orange fingerless boxing gloves, black bracelets with white spikes around them, and orange pants with a dark yellow string supporting it. He is Koala Kong, the brute strength. The fifth crew member is a short bald-headed man with two metal screws on each side of his head, thick brown eyebrows, brown eyes, and wearing a green short-sleeved lab coat and dark green long-sleeved jumpsuit and boots. He is Dr. Nitrus Brio, or N. Brio for short, the inventor of the crew. The sixth crew member is an alien with green skin, yellow stripes on his skin, black-pupiled yellow eyes, red eyebags, dark green lips, sharp teeth, gold yellow tube-like antennae between his head and neck, three fingers, and four crab-like legs, and wearing a purple long-sleeved jumpsuit, a dark purple vent-like brooch on the front, two green engine-like buttons on the back, and dark purple rims. Nitros Oxide, the extraterrestrial of the crew. The seventh crew member is a a half gorilla half kangaroo mutant with peach skin, brown fur, brown eyes, black eyebrows, a thick strong brown tail with a small peach underbelly, and wearing red and white striped pants and a black leather belt with a gold buckle. He is Rilla Roo, the entertainer of the crew. The eighth crew member is a woman with long hip-length magenta hair with a curl at the end, green eyes, and wearing green orb earrings, a white cropped shirt with a red R on the front, a black cropped tanktop underneath, dark gray arm gloves, a white miniskirt, and dark gray leg boots. She is Jessie, a member of Team Rocket and the thief of the crew. The ninth crew member is a man with short chin-length light blue hair, light blue eyes, and wearing a white shirt with a red R on the front, a black tanktop underneath, dark gray gloves, white pants with a purple rim around the waist, and dark gray boots. He is James, Jessie's partner in Team Rocket and also the thief of the crew. The tenth crew member is a Normal-type scratching cat Pokemon with light beige fur, brown tips on the toes and curly tail, two whiskers on the forehead, two whiskers on each side of the cheeks, black ears with the interior colored pink, and has a oval-shaped gold coin on the forehead. He is Meowth, Jessie and James' partner in Team Rocket. The eleventh crew member is a large, slender, muscular, humanoid adult Bengal tiger with orange fur, a white muzzle, paws and underbelly, black stripes, a light brown nose, lavender eye patches and eyelids, yellow eyes, and long, sharp claws. He is name was Shere Khan, the hunter and predator of the crew. The twelfth crew member is an Indian python with golden yellow skin, yellow eyeballs, and golden brown spots on his back. He is Kaa, the hypnotist of the crew. The thirteenth crew member is a small plankton with dark green skin, two antennae, a yellow eye with a red pupil, and a black unibrow. He is Sheldon J. Plankton, the dictator of the crew. The fourteenth crew member is a green humanoid fish wearing a black cowboy hat, a gray shirt, a black vest, metal shoulder armor plates, a knife hanging on a black stringed necklace, a dark gray belt with a skull for a buckle and a small pouch, black fingerless glove with metal spikes on his right hand, black pants, black cowboy boots containing spikes as well, and he sometimes carried a red bandana and black sunglasses. He is Dennis, the hit-man of the crew. The fifteenth crew member is a humanoid mountain lion with gold yellow fur, whiskers, yellow eyes, a dark brown nose, and wearing a gold crown with an assortment of jewels on it, a periwinkle long-sleeved shirt, a red long-sleeved robe with white trimming, and brown sandals. He is Prince John, the liar and selfish tyrant of the crew. The sixteenth crew member is an obese humanoid wolf with gray fur, yellow eyes, a black nose, black eyebrows, and wearing a red long-sleeved jumpsuit with short, poofy, pink shoulder sleeves — with magenta stripes — attached to long, pink sleeves, crimson shoes, a gold star badge, a gold medallion, and a red hat with a large pale blue feather stuck in a magenta band. He is the Sheriff of Nottingham, the greedy tax collector of the crew. The seventeenth crew member is a yellow snake wearing a red hat with a white feather on it and a red cape around his neck. He is Sir Hiss, Prince John's councilor and also the hypnotist of the crew. The eighteenth crew member is a huge dragon with red scales, yellow eyes, large, purple horns, a yellow underbelly, red wings with a yellow interior, dark red spots on his tail, purple nail claws, and wearing gold cuffs and a brown cloth necklace with a purple jewel on a gold brooch and sometimes carried a black scepter with magenta crystals on it as his weapon. He is Red, the sorcerer of the crew. The nineteenth crew member is an obese gray tabby cat with gray fur with lighter gray markings, short black, crewcut-like hair, light gray ear innards, a dark gray nose, yellow eyes with a green iris, a skinny black mustache, curly whiskers, sharp teeth and claws, and wearing a purple long-sleeved jacket over a black long-sleeved shirt — that is also underneath a blue vest with a gold button — and a red necktie. He is Fat Cat, the greedy businessman of the crew. The twentieth, twenty-first, twenty-second, and twenty-third crew members are four different animals. The first one is a lizard with lime green scales, yellow eyes, a lighter green underbelly and soles, and wearing a dark red long-sleeved trench coat, a lavender ascot around the neck, and a tan fedora hat with a dark red band. The second one is a chubby mole with light brown fur, a tan muzzle and underbelly, a dark red nose, and wearing a dark yellow ski cap and a red short-sleeved turtleneck shirt. The third one is a tall, skinny cat with orange fur, cream-colored markings, yellow eyes, a pink nose, pink ear innards, black whiskers, and wearing a teal ski cap and a dark teal vest. And the last one is a rat with taupe fur, tan markings, a black nose, a pink tail and ear innards, and wearing a red sleeveless turtleneck shirt, a black vest, and a dark blue newsboy cap. They are Wart, Mole, Mepps, and Snout respectively, Fat Cat's henchmen. The twenty-fourth crew member is an evil version of Darkwing Duck with white feathers, light blue eyes, an orange beak and webbed feet, and wearing a red long-sleeved turtleneck shirt, a yellow long-sleeved coat with four black buttons, a black mask, a red fedora with a red ribbon, and a black cape with a red color inside. He is Negaduck, the robber of the crew. The twenty-fifth, twenty-sixth, twenty-seventh, and twenty-eighth crew members are four animals. The first one is a humanoid half-duck, half-plant creature with green feathers, an orange beak, vines for arms, leaves for hands, brown root legs, purple hair, and blue eyes. The second one is a humanoid rat with peach skin, small eyes, white buckteeth, small whiskers, a black nose, and wearing a yellow and orange plug hat, dark blue goggles, a battery pack, turquoise rubber gloves, turquoise boots, and a yellow long-sleeved jumpsuit. The third one is a humanoid duck with white feathers, an orange beak and webbed feet, short light brown hair on the top of his head, and wearing a red and purple jester hat — both with jingle bells and acts life a mask — a pale blue court ruff around his neck, a purple knee-length jumpsuit with long orange sleeves — one with red polka dots and another with red stripes — and red shoes. And the last one crew member is a blue water-like humanoid dog. They are Bushroot, Megavolt, Quackerjack, and Liquidator respectively, Negaduck's henchmen. The twenty-ninth crew member is a tall, lanky, muscular goblin with bright green skin, claws, and insides of his large, bat-like ears, large golden-yellow eyes, frog-like lips, a round nose, crooked teeth, wild pink hair that billowed out behind his ears like wings, and stood in a Mohawk, and wearing a teal blue loincloth and a black cape with hot pink that was held in place by a white skull pin. He is Prince Froglip, the seductive member and womanizer of the crew. The thirtieth crew member is a slender humanoid weasel with brown fur, tan markings, a dark brown nose, red eyes, and wearing a white tanktop and black shorts with red-and-white stripes. He is Duke Weaselton. And the last crew member is a diminutive sheep with pale pink skin, white wool, floppy ears, green eyes, and wearing light brown glasses, a dark gray medium-sleeved coat over a pink-and-green patterned dress and a gold jingle bell necklace. She is Dawn Bellwether. Anyway, once the crew was done doing their works, they, except Negaduck and his henchmen, went up to a Captain’s headquarter door with a crude drawing of their captain on it in an angry mood. The reason why they are angry; They want to leave Slumberland and forget about killing Crash, Spyro, and the Mario Brothers and they are sick of being stuck on the island. As they sang, they began to angrily throw knives at the drawing on the door)*

Pirates: **Oh, a pirate’s life**

**Is a wonderful life**

**They never bury your bones**

**For when it’s all over**

**A jolly sea roger**

**Drops in on his friend**

**Davy Jones**

**Oh....**

*(Then, the door opens to two men and five mutants. The first man is short and has short orange hair, brown eyes, and a German accent, and wearing a white long-sleeved lab jumpsuit, black gloves with yellow strips, and black boots. He is Dr. Nitros Gin, first mate to Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser. And the last man is tall and has blue skin, brown eyes, black eyebrows, and two tiny black goatees on each side of his chin and a British accent and wearing a copper armored helmet and suit that resembles a clock over a white long-sleeved lab coat, white pants, and brown boots and wielding a giant metal fork-like wrench like a staff. He is Dr. Nefarious Tropy, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's second mate. One mutant is a male kangaroo with blue fur, a light blue underbelly, brown eyes with red and yellow swirls, a black nose, and wearing a white straightjacket. He is Ripper Roo, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's third mate. The second and third mutants are two male komodo dragons with green scales, yellow eyes, yellow underbellies, spiky tails, and sharp claws and teeth, with the skinny one having three fingers and a thumb and three toes and the chubby one having two fingers and a thumb and two toes, and both wearing yellow Arabic cup-like helmet with a metal spike on top, a purple head cloak underneath, and a white sleeveless long tunic underneath a magenta long-sleeved Arabic robe that is open, and both sometimes wields Arabian swords. They are Joe and Moe Komodo AKA the Komodo Brothers or Komodo Joe and Komodo Moe, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's fourth and fifth mates. The fourth mutant is a male Tazmanian tiger with orange fur, yellow eyes, a big black nose, thick blackish-brown eyebrows, tan markings at the muzzle, chest, and stomach, sharp white teeth, pointed white claws, triangular ears, a brown tuft on his long tail, and brown stripes on his back fur and wearing a gold gladiator helmet, a gold armored arm gauntlet on his right arm, brown shoulder pads with silver spikes, silver metal bracelets, a brown suspender belt around the torso, a green leopard-spotted loincloth, and red and white converse shoes, and sometimes wielded a trident. He is Tiny Tiger, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's sixth mate. And the last mutant is a male half crocodile, half dingo with brown fur, brown eyes, a pig-like nose, sharp teeth, cream markings at the muzzle, chest, stomach, palms, toes, and undersides of his arms, a long, thick, tapering, green tail with an olive green underside and white spikes, triangular ears with black ear innards, and wearing tan pants and sometimes carried a flamethrower. He is Dingodile, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's seventh mate. As they exited the captain, admiral, and assistant captain’s headquarters, with N. Gin carrying a tray with a shaving kit, they finished singing the song with the pirates too)*

Mates and pirates: **Oh, my good friend**

**Davy Jones**

*(Unaware of how angry the crew is, the mates greeted them happily)*

N. Gin and Tropy: Good morning, shipmates!

Mutants: It’s a beautiful morning!

*(Suddenly, Dennis, Prince John, and the Sheriff roughly yanked Tiny up to them)*

Dennis: And what’s good about it, N. Gin, Tropy, Ripper, Tiny, Dingodile, and Komodo Brothers?!

Prince John: Especially when we’re on this island?

Sheriff: Yeah, there’s nothing good about it!

*(The three tossed Tiny aside, bumping him into Joe and Moe. Plankton then used his robot to grab Ripper and Doom pointed his knife at Ripper’s belly)*

Doom: Here we are, collecting barnacles on this miserable island!

Plankton: Not to mention no booty to steal whatsoever!

*(They released Ripper. As Ripper recovered, Dingodile's nose got caught in Smarty’s gun)*

Smarty: While his regular and assistant captainship and admiralship plays ring around the rosy with Crash Bandicoot!

Chef Bergen: And his dragonfly friend of his is more annoying than a talking macaw.

Koala: Heck, one time they beat us, that friend wouldn’t shut up on his gloating on us!

Pinstripe: Especially with his sarcasm.

Dingodile: Look out there, it might go off!

*(Dingodile freed his nose from Smarty’s gun and stumbled back)*

Tropy: Well, excuse us for…!

*(Suddenly, Duke Weasolton tied the mates’ necks up with his lasso and barely hung them)*

Duke Weaselton: We want to get back to the business of looting ships!

*(Shere Khan and Oxide then came up to them with their machetes)*

Oxide: Why, I even almost forgot to slit a throat!

Shere Khan: Especially when it comes to making our enemies like prey!

*(They sliced their machetes on the lasso as if slitting a throat, freeing the mates, who recovered. After recovering, the mates glared at them)*

Moe: Why not lash out at the captain, admiral, and assistant captain instead about your problems?!

Joe: That way….

Rilla: Because they will punish us with death!

Hiss: Especially with Ripto's pet monster, Zam!

Kaa: I don’t like to be beast bait at all!

N. Brio: Me neither.

Froglip: It wouldn’t be pleasant to be eaten!

Tiny: So what?! Go talk to them!

Red: (Throwing his knife at them) Maybe you better drop it to them!

*(The mates dodged the knife. Then the crew began throwing their knives at them, making them dodge them too as they hurried up the stairs)*

Fat Cat: Tell them we want to go back to sea, see?!

*(On “see,” he throws his dagger at the Komodo Brothers, but the two dodged. Then the pirates laugh sneeringly at them. The mates glared at the pirates. They then secretly stuck their tongues out at them and walked away with N. Gin still carrying the shaving kit tray. Once on the way to their captain, admiral, and assistant captain, they began talking)*

N. Gin: The crew is so immature!

Ripper: I agree!

Joe: (Mockingly) “Maybe you better drop it to them.” *(In his real angry voice)* Who does he and the crew think they are?!

Gruff voice: Let me guess. They picked on you again?

*(They stopped and noticed a light blue creature and eight young Koopas. The light blue creature has light blue scales, light yellow horns, a peach underbelly, teal eyes, two fingers and a thumb on each hand, two toes on each foot, dark blue nail claws, a blackish-gray unibrow, and a sharp tooth jutting out from inside his lower lip, and sometimes carried a brown wooden club as his weapon. He is Crush, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's eighth mate. The first Koopa has short red hair tied in a small ponytail, black eyes, red eyebrows, yellow and beige scaled skin with the head colored green and beige and the head has small white horns, a sharp tooth jutting out from inside his upper lip, a yellow tail without spikes, and a huge green turtle-like shell with white spikes, and wearing black cuffs around the wrists, a black hair bob, and a white bib-like bandanna with a snarling mouth on it. He is Bowser Jr. Koopa, or just Junior, the youngest Koopaling, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's ninth mate, and one of Bowser's sons. The second Koopa has a blue Mohawk that resembles a cockscomb, blue eyes, yellow and beige scaled skin with the head colored green, four sharp teeth jutting out from inside his upper lip, a yellow tail without spikes, a green turtle-like shell with white spikes, and wearing black cuffs with small white spikes around the wrists. He is Larry Koopa, the middle Koopaling, Junior's big brother, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's tenth mate, and Bowser's fourth son. The third Koopa has three strands of hair, a gray star-shaped birthmark over his left eye, brown and beige scaled skin with the head colored white, unruly black eyebrows, four sharp teeth jutting out from inside his upper lip, a brown tail without spikes, a light gray turtle-like shell with white spikes, and wearing black cuffs with small white spikes around the wrists. He is Morton Koopa, Jr., the third oldest Koopaling, Larry and Junior's big brother, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's eleventh mate, and Bowser's fifth son. The fourth Koopa is bald and has blue eyes, long black eyelashes, yellow and beige scaled skin, big pink lips, a yellow tail without spikes, a pink turtle-like shell with white spikes, and wearing large, golden bracelets around the wrists, a large pink and white polka-dotted ribbon on her head, a red beaded necklace, and pink pumps. She is Wendy O. Koopa, the third younger Koopaling, Larry and Morton's little sister, Junior's big sister, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's twelfth mate, and Bowser's daughter. The fifth Koopa has a yellow, fuchsia, and cyan rainbow-colored Mohawk, blue eyes, yellow and beige scaled skin with the head colored green, four sharp teeth jutting out from inside his upper lip, a yellow tail without spikes, a green turtle-like shell without spikes, and wearing black cuffs with small white spikes around the wrists and black glasses with clear lenses. He is Iggy Koopa, the second youngest Koopaling, Junior's big brother, Larry, Morton, and Wendy's little brother, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's thirteenth mate, and Bowser's second son. The sixth Koopa has yellow and beige scaled skin with the head colored pink, two sharp teeth jutting out from inside his upper lip, a yellow tail without spikes, a pink turtle-like shell with white spikes, and wearing black cuffs with small white spikes around the wrists and black sunglasses with red rims. He is Roy Koopa, the second oldest Koopaling, Larry, Morton, Wendy, Iggy, and Junior's big brother, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's fourteenth mate, and Bowser's sixth son, and the one who spoke. The seventh Koopa has a red, yellow, green, blue, and purple rainbow-colored Mohawk, a lazy eye, yellow and beige scaled skin with the head colored green and the cheeks have red war paint, a yellow tail without spikes, a green turtle-like shell without spikes, and wearing black cuffs with small white spikes around the wrists, and sometimes rode on a green beach ball with a yellow star on it. He is Lemmy Koopa, the other second youngest Koopaling, Iggy's twin brother, Junior's big brother, Larry, Morton, Wendy, and Roy's little brother, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's fifteenth mate, and Bowser's third son. And the last Koopa has blue Beethoven-esque hair, yellow and beige scaled skin with the head colored green, black eyebrows, a sharp tooth jutting out from inside his upper lip, a yellow tail without spikes, a green turtle-like shell with white spikes, and wearing black cuffs with small white spikes around the wrists. He is Ludwig Von Koopa, the oldest Koopaling, Larry, Morton, Wendy, Iggy, Roy, Lemmy, and Junior's big brother, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser's seventeenth mate, and Bowser's seventh son. Anyway, the other mates recognized them casually)*

Moe: Yeah.

Dingodile: Treated like garbage, Roy.

Tropy: Let’s just go talk to the captain, admiral, and assistant captain about this and they’ll stop!

Ripper: Ooh….

Tiny: What, Ripper?

Ripper: They will not be happy when he finds out what we’re telling him.

*(The Komodo Brothers nod in agreement and they, along with the mates, continued to their captain, admiral, and assistant captain with Crush and the Koopalings going with them. On the top deck of the ship, the captain himself is reading a map of Slumberland on his desk with a short dinosaur and a huge Koopa king looking with him. The captain is a man with a bald head with black side hair, and a black beard and mustache, a pale blue N tattoo on his forehead, and wearing a white sleeveless lab coat over a black long-sleeved jumpsuit, yellow lab gloves, and dark blue boots and has a silver hook in place of his left hand. He is Dr. Neo Cortex, or Captain Cortex as he’s called here, and he is not only likes to talk in sarcasm sometimes, but he also insults people and is very temperamental. The dinosaur man with him has vermilion scales, a long, white horn on his head, brown eyebrows, green eyes, and wearing a white long-sleeved shirt, a purple long-sleeved jacket, a purple cape with the collar sticking up, purple pants, and black shoes. He is Ripto, admiral of the pirate crew. And the huge Koopa king with them has short red hair, red eyes, yellow and beige scaled skin with the head colored green and beige and the head has two white horns on each side, a yellow tail with white spikes, a huge green turtle-like shell with white spikes, and black cuffs with small white spikes around the neck, shoulders, and wrists. He is Bowser, king of the Koopa Troop, the Koopalings' father, and assistant captain to Cortex and Ripto. Anyway, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser got annoyed and angry while they read the Slumberland map on the desk)*

Cortex: Blast that Crash Bandicoot, and his friends, Spyro and the Mario Brothers, too!

Ripto: I completely agree.

Bowser: If only we could find their hideout, we’d trap them in there!

Ripto: I know, Bowser, but where is it?

Bowser: Hmm, Mermaid Lagoon?

Cortex: No, we searched there already.

Ripto: And we combed Herbivore Cove.

*(Cortex suddenly noticed a spot on the map’s western part of the island)*

Ripto: (Pointing at it) How about here?

Cortex: No, no! That’s Dragon Elder ter...!

*(Ripto suddenly stopped him and began to change his mind)*

Ripto: But what if we…?

*(He whispers in Cortex and Bowser’s ear and Cortex smiled evilly on this while Bowser was unsure)*

Cortex: Wait a minute. That’s it. Good idea, Ripto.

Bowser: But that'll never work.

Cortex: Nonsense, Bowser. Those magic breathers know this island than we do on our own ship.

*(He and Ripto began to ponder)*

Cortex: I wonder....

Ripto: Yeah….

*(Then, the mates arrived as N. Gin placed the shaving kit tray on a nearby barrel. Cortex and Ripto, while still thinking of an idea, and Bowser noticed them briefly)*

N. Gin and Tropy: Good morning, Captain, Admiral, and Assistant Captain!

Mutants: It’s a beautiful morning!

Crush: Same thing you said before to the crew.

Junior: Yeah.

*(The Koopalings giggled in agreement with Junior. Suddenly, Cortex and Ripto got an idea that they shouted out, startling Bowser and the mates)*

Cortex: I got it!

Ripto: Yes! Perfect! What is it?

*(The captain and admiral turned to Bowser and the mates)*

Ripto: We’ll ask Cynder!

Joe: (Confused) Wait, Cynder, Captain and Admiral?

Cortex: That's what he said, you dimwit.

*(The mates gave confused looks)*

Cortex: Oh, you know, Chief Ignitus' daughter.

Ripto: She’ll know where Crash, Spyro, and the Mario Brothers are hiding.

*(The mates and Koopalings, except Ludwig and Dingodile, however were unsure of this)*

Roy: Cool idea!

Ludwig: But what makes you think she’ll talk?

Dingodile: If I recall correctly, she's Spyro's girlfriend and a good mate to Crash and the Mario Brothers.

Ripto: (Shrugging them off) Meh, a little persuasion can help.

Cortex: Now, what torture shall we think of?

Ripper: Boiling in oil?

Ripto: Nah, too hot.

Komodo Brothers: How about keelhauling?

Cortex: No! We’re not injuring her!

Wendy: I know of a lady-like torture!

Cortex: (Sarcastically) Why am I not surprised?

Wendy: How about marooning?

Bowser: (Shrugs) That could work.

Ripto: No!

Cortex: That’s stupid.

*(They suddenly got an idea)*

Cortex: I know! We’ll try marooning them!

Ripto: My sentiments exactly!

*(Wendy groans while slapping her hand on her forehead in annoyance, for it was her idea. Suddenly, they heard a voice singing badly. They looked up and saw near the crow’s nest Quackerjack singing badly while playing on his accordion. Next to him, Negaduck and his goons are covering their ears to block out the horrible singing)*

Quackerjack: **Oh, a pirate’s life**

**Is a wonderful life**

**You’ll find adventure and sport**

**But late every minute**

**For all that is in it**

*(Even Cortex and Ripto was annoyed by the bad singing. Bowser and the mates on the other hand just ignored their bad singing. Negaduck gestured Cortex and Ripto to make Quackerjack stop)*

Quackerjack: **The life of a pirate**

**Is shoooooooort**

**Oh, the liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....**

*(Getting Negaduck’s gestures, Cortex pulled his gun out and Ripto conjured up a fireball and they both shot the accordion out of Quackerjack’s hands, making it fall into the water, splashing Junior in the process)*

Junior: (Through gritted teeth) I hate getting wet!

*(Iggy and Lemmy laughed at him at first until Roy smacked them, making them stop. Quackerjack shouted down to Cortex and Ripto in anger)*

Quackerjack: Hey! What’s the big idea?! I was just singing a song here! I was just almost done when you shot at me!

Cortex: Well, next time, sing better!

Ripto: And deal with it!

*(Angrily, Quackerjack, while climbing down with Negaduck and his mates, climbed down to the other side of the ship as well while Quackerjack mumbled in anger)*

Quackerjack: I don’t understand why they didn’t just shout at me not to annoy them instead of shooting my accordion....

*(Bowser rolled his eyes in annoyance secretly while stifling a laugh, for he knew their physical and verbal arguments and conversations can be confusing and annoying. After they were gone, Cortex puts the gun away and changed the subject with Ripto)*

Cortex: Now, where were we?

Ripto: Before we were interrupted….

Tiny: Wow, Captain Cortex and Admiral Ripto. Shooting accordion out of Quackerjack’s hands in middle of his cadenza?

Joe: (Laughs) That ain’t good form, you know.

Moe: You said it.

*(Tropy got shocked on what the Komodo Brothers said and tried to shush them, but it was too late. Cortex and Ripto heard them and turned to them calmly at first)*

Ripto: Good form, Komodo Brothers?

Cortex: You don’t say?

*(They got angry and Cortex knocked the desk over)*

Cortex: Blast good form!

*(Cortex waves his hook in front of the mates angrily while Ripto went up to them showing four old teeth mark scratches on his left arm)*

Cortex: Did Crash Bandicoot show good form when he did this to us?!

Ripto: AND IT HURT, TOO!!

*(The Komodo Brothers tried to calm them down in an apologetic way)*

Moe: Aw, Captain, Admiral. *(Giggles)* Crash cutting the captain’s hand off and getting the admiral’s arm injured were only a couple of childish pranks.

Joe: In fact, he did to save his friends from you.

Tropy: (Smacking the Komodo Brothers) Don’t make it worse!

Cortex: Yeah, well, he then threw my hand to that creature called Gulp!

Ripto: And after he ate it, one chomp from his chewing scarred my arm, due to that bandicoot kicking me down to him, and bit my pet, Zam!

Cortex: And ever since then, that accursed beast, not to be confused with Zam, liked the taste of me, Ripto, and my pet so well, he’s been following us, licking his chops for the rest of me mostly.

*(As he and Ripto ranted about this, Ripto took off his cape and walked around while they calmed down. Ripper tried to seat him in a chair and cover him with a blanket, but he kept missing. Finally, when Cortex and Ripto finished, Ripper seated Cortex in the chair and covered him in the blanket)*

Ripper: And he would’ve had you, the admiral, and Zam by now, Captain.

Morton: If he hadn’t swallowed the alarm clock.

Iggy: But when he is now near, he’ll warn you immediately with his tick-tock, tick-tocking.

*(As Iggy said “tick-tock, tick-tocking” while Tropy starting to prepare the shaving kit, the sound of ticking is heard nearby. Ripto, Bowser and the mates got surprised that he is coming now on cue, while Cortex got a fearful look on his face. Then, from beneath the water, near the ship, a big dinosaur-like monster emerged, looking up at Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser. That dinosaur-like monster has green scales, yellow eyes with a green iris, yellow horns, underbelly, and claws, sharp teeth, and wearing silver cuffs with dark gray spikes around the ankles. He is Gulp, the said monster that is after Cortex, Ripto, and Zam because of his delicious taste, but mostly for Cortex. As the captain shook in fear, Gulp licked his lips hungrily while drooling)*

Cortex: Guys.... GUYS!!!!

*(He jumped off the chair and cowered behind Ripto, Bowser, and the mates)*

Bowser: Hey!

Cortex: Save me! Don’t let him get me! Go! Do something, now! I beg of you!

*(Ripto, while rolling his eyes, Bowser, and the mates went up the railing and scolded the Gulp)*

Bowser: Now listen up, you!

Junior: You should be ashamed of yourself!

Koopalings except Junior: Yeah!

Tiny: Who do you think you are scaring our captain?

Ripto: There’ll be no handouts today!

Dingodile: Yeah, beat it!

Ripper: Please?

*(The Gulp then begged like a dog. Ripto, Bowser, and the mates then shouted things like “Shoo now!” or “Go away!” and finally “Get out of here!” and the Gulp glared at them and swam away. Cowering behind a chair, Cortex took a peek)*

Cortex: Is he gone?

Joe: Yeah, Captain.

Moe: All clear.

Larry: Nothing to worry about.

Bowser: We did good telling off the Gulp.

Kooaplings: Yeah!

*(Cortex comes out of hiding, but is still shaking in fear)*

Cortex: But guys, I can’t stand it anymore! I can’t!

*(The Komodo Brothers calm him down as they seated him in the chair again and covered him in the blanket again)*

Moe: Now, relax, Captain.

Joe: What you need is a shave.

*(Joe then wrapped a towel around Cortex’s head)*

Joe: A nice clean shave.

*(As Cortex calmed down underneath the towel, he fell asleep)*

Bowser: You both are seriously gonna shave him?

Komodo Brothers: Yeah.

*(The Komodo Brothers then started singing while Ripto walked away)*

Ripto: I’m going to get a drink.

Komodo Brothers: **Oh, a pirate’s life**

**Is a wonderful life**

**A-sailin’ over the sea**

**Give me a career**

**As a....**

*(At the same time the Komodo Brothers were singing, a seagull was flying by, when it noticed Cortex’s towel-wrapped head, and thinking it’s a nest, it laid on it. After it landed on the towel, the Komodo Brothers stopped singing when Wendy spoke up upon noticing the seagull along with Bowser and the other mates)*

Wendy: Uh, Komodo Brothers?

Komodo Brothers: Not now.

Joe: (To Cortex) Captain, we just can’t help but notice, you’re not your usual jolly self lately.

*(He then covered the seagull’s butt and tail with shaving cream, thinking it’s Cortex’s shadowed face. Roy tried to explain what’s going on)*

Roy: Joe, you’re actually….

Joe: Not now.

*(Moe then took a shaver and he and Joe started singing)*

Komodo Brothers: **Give me a career**

**As a buccaneer....**

*(As Moe prepared the shaver, the Komodo Brothers suddenly remembered what the crew forcefully asked him and the mates, except Crush and the Koopalings, to do about leaving Slumberland, stopped singing and spoke up)*

Moe: And the crew’s getting really impatient, Captain.

Joe: That is, what’s left of them.

*(Moe then shaved the seagull’s butt and tail clean of it’s feathers. Annoyed by the Komodo Brothers’ idiotic method of shaving the seagull instead of Cortex’s shadowed face, Bowser and the mates tried to speak up again)*

Bowser and the mates except the Komodo Brothers: Komodo Brothers, you’re shaving the…!

Komodo Brothers: (Getting angry and annoyed) Not now!

*(They calmed down and spoke to Cortex again)*

Joe: So why don’t we just sail away?

Moe: Leave Slumberland and forget Crash Bandicoot, Spyro, and the Mario Brothers?

*(Joe then rubbed aftershave on his hands and patted the seagull’s butt with it. After he was done, the seagull bolted awake and after seeing it’s naked butt and tail, flew away, squawking in embarrassment)*

Moe: Oh, come on, Captain. Don’t cry. We’ll be more happier after that.

Joe: Not to mention a whole lot healthier.

*(Joe then puts some shaving powder on his hands and begins to pat his hands in the air while he and Moe are about to sing)*

Bowser and the mates except the Komodo Brothers: KOMODO BROTHERS!!!!

Komodo Brothers: WHAT?!

*(The Komodo Brothers noticed the seagull’s gone)*

Komodo Brothers: Captain?!

Moe: Oh my gosh!! I never shaved him this close before!

Bowser: Well, if you had payed attention....

Joe: Shut up and look around for his head!

*(As Moe crawled on the floor, searching for the head, his back picked up the chair and the rocking made the towel fall off of Cortex’s head. He woke up suddenly and after looking around in confusion, he noticed Moe, searching around like an idiot, and got annoyed and angry)*

Cortex: Get up, you idiot!

*(Moe bolted to his feet, knocking Cortex and the chair aside. Bowser and the mates noticed and they got shocked)*

Moe: (Saluting) Aye-aye, sir!

*(He and the others heard the chair crash down on the deck and noticed Cortex and the chair landed on the other side where Ripto and the other crew members are. They got confused at first, but they became curious on what happened when the mates arrived down there, shouting in concern for their captain. Ripto, however, had a feeling something happened)*

Meowth: What’s going on?

Stupid: And why did the captain fall down and go boom?

Wheezy: We told you to tell him about us leaving now!

Ripto: (Confused) Tell us what?

Dingodile: Well, it’s hard to explain....

*(The Komodo Brothers went up to a dizzy Cortex, thinking they found his head)*

Joe: He’s fine!

Moe: Good as new!

*(They grabbed Cortex’s face when the captain snapped out of his dizzyness, got up, took the blanket off and grabbed the Komodo Brothers, making the crew shocked)*

Cortex: (To the Komodo Brothers) You brainless idiots!

*(Cortex was about to punch them when the crew screamed out at him to stop while Ripto was surprised)*

Roy: Chill, Captain!

*(Cortex stopped and got confused)*

Cortex: What?

*(He drops the Komodo Brothers)*

Ripto: Just what’s going on here? What do you mean “Tell us?”

Fat Cat: Let’s just say we want to leave Slumberland!

*(Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser got confused)*

Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser: What?

Wart: You heard him!

Dingodile: The crew is edgy because we want to leave and go back to being pirates.

Ripper: Let's go back to sea, see!

Bellwether: They have a point.

*(Among the crew, a humanoid weasel with muddy lime green fur, light muddy lime green markings, yellow eyes, a black nose, short dark muddy lime green neck-length hair, and wearing a mauve long-sleeved coat with four yellow buttons and a mauve newsboy cap, is drinking a lot of alcoholic beer in his mug. He is Wacky Weasel, the alcoholic drunk member of the crew. Nearby, a sad scullery maid is working on swabbing the deck, not being part of this meeting. She is a 10 year old female humanlike chipmunk with tan fur, pink lips, a pink nose, rouge on her cheeks, short brown hair tied in a ponytail, teal eyes, and wearing a red hair tie, pink glasses with clear lenses, a red sleeveless showgirl dress — that resembles a strapless skintight swimsuit — with white frills on her neckline, white tail feathers, and red pumps. She is Jeanette Miller, the crew's scullery maid who hates her job with the pirates and longs for freedom. As this happened, the crew shouted their agreement with Bellwether. Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser then got sarcastic)*

Cortex: (Sarcastically) Very well.

Ripto: (Sarcastically) If that’s your decision.

Bowser: (Sarcastically) If that’s what you want.

*(N. Gin hands Ripto his cape and Ripto accepted it and puts it on)*

Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser: Not happening yet!

*(The crew groaned in anger)*

Bowser: What’s wrong with you?!

*(The crew quieted down. Bowser then calmed down and with Ripto, Cortex spoke up in a positive way)*

Cortex: If you help us kill Crash Bandicoot, Spyro, and the Mario Brothers, we shall reward you with treasure.

Ripto: But all you have to do is do what we say.

Jessie: (Skeptically) Really?

Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser: Really.

James: Let’s just sail away for all I care.

Cortex: Really?

Ripto: Let’s just say we have a plan.

Crew except Wacky: (Confused) A plan?

N. Gin: Me and the other mates were told of this plan.

Mates except N. Gin: (Agreeing) Yeah.

Dingodile: Tell them.

Cortex: Ripto and I plan to kidnap Cynder of the Elder Dragons and persuade them into telling us where Crash Bandicoot, Spyro, and the Mario Brothers’ hideout is.

*(The crew, except Jeanette, is now starting to become convinced by the plan)*

Ripto: And when we find out, we’ll maroon them both, find those four bratty boys, and kill them and their friends.

Cortex and Ripto: And as we promise, we’ll leave Slumberland for good!

*(The crew, except Jeanette, cheered. After Cortex accepted a Napoleon Bonaparte-like hat from Tropy and putting it on, Ripto threw his cape in the air and with Cortex, then started singing)*

Cortex: **From the brains**

**That brought you**

**The Herbivore Cove Caper**

Ripto: **The heads that made headlines**

**Throughout all of Slumberland newspapers**

Cortex: **And wondrous things like**

**The Mermaid Lagoon job**

**That cunning display**

**That made Slumberlanders sob**

Ripto: **Now comes the real tour de force**

Cortex: **Tricky and wicked of course**

*(Wacky took another beer bottle and while refilling repeatedly, drank it all up from his mug)*

Cortex and Ripto: **Our earlier crimes**

**Were fine for our times**

**But now we’re at it again**

**An even grimmer plot**

**Has been simmering**

**In our great criminal brains**

Crew: **Even meaner**

**You mean it**

**Worse than the widows and orphans**

**You drowned**

**You’re the best of the worst around**

**Oh Cortex**

**Oh Ripto**

**The rest fall behind**

**To Cortex**

**To Ripto**

**Slumberland’s greatest criminal minds**

*(Then Ripto played on a harp with Cortex standing next to him)*

Ripto: Thank you, thank you. But it hasn’t all been champagne and caviar.

Cortex: Yes. We’ve had our share of adversity.

Ripto: Thanks to those miserable second-rate brats, Crash Bandicoot, Spyro, and the Mario Brothers!

*(They leered at the pictures of Crash, Spyro, and the Mario Brothers on the wall, covered with darts)*

Crew: Boo!

Cortex: (Fake sobbing) For years, those insufferable brats has interfered with our plans. And we haven’t had a moment’s piece of mind.

Crew: Aw….

Jeanette: (Flatly) Sorry to hear that.

*(Wacky then briefly sobbed uncontrollably a little)*

Ripto: But all of that’s in the past!

Cortex: This time, nothing, not even Crash Bandicoot, Spyro, and the Mario Brothers, can stop us!

Cortex and Ripto: All will bow down before us!

Crew: **Oh Cortex**

**Oh Ripto**

**You’re tops and that’s that**

**To Cortex**

**To Ripto**

*(Then all of a sudden, Wacky finally sang out loud drunkenly)*

Wacky: (Drunkenly) **To the greatest**

**Crazyfish, Dinofish, and Turtlefish**

*(He hiccups. Suddenly, Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser spits their wine they were drinking in horror on what Wacky said. Even Jeanette and the crew was shocked)*

Greasy: Uh-oh. His loss.

Jeanette: (Softly) Not good.

*(Cortex and Ripto then turned to Wacky in anger and got up to him)*

Ripto: What was that you said?!

*(Wacky hiccups again)*

Cortex: What did you call us?!

*(Bowser and the pirates tried to stand up for Wacky)*

Psycho: He didn’t mean it, Captain Cortex and Admiral Ripto!

Bowser: It was just the slip of his tongue indeed, even though I don't like the ins....

*(Ignoring them, Cortex savagely grabs Wacky by the neck rim of his shirt while he and Ripto yelled at him)*

Cortex: I AM *NOT*A CRAZYFISH!!

Ripto: AND I’M ESPECIALLY *NOT* A DINOFISH!!

Psycho: Course you’re not!

Roy: (To the pirates) Right?

*(The crew agreed)*

Sheriff: You’re a great genius and wizard.

Hiss: Yeah. A great genius and wizard!

Bowser: Even though I'm also a great Koopa King, I think you should spare Wacky.

Cortex and Ripto: Silence!

*(Ripto sets up the plank and Cortex hangs Wacky on the edge by his back neck rim as the crew watched)*

Cortex: Oh, my dear Wacky Weasel. I’m afraid you have gone and upset us.

*(Ripto pulls a bell out with an evil smirk)*

Ripto: You know what happens when someone upsets me, Bowser, or Cortex, right?

*(The crew got shocked on this, for they knew what would happen to unfortunate crew members like Wacky. Ripto rang the bell and a giant frog-like lizard with green scales — with yellow spots, purple eyes, sharp fangs, white nail claws, a white underbelly, and purple spikes going down from head to tail, named Zam, slowly emerged from the water, ready to grab Wacky and eat him)*

Wacky: (Drunkenly) **Oh Cortex**

**Oh Ripto**

**You’re tops and that’s that**

*(He hiccups)*

Wacky: (Drunkenly) Oops, dear.

*(He resumed singing as Zam picked him up over his mouth as the crew looked on in horror with the bumbling members covering their eyes and Cortex whistled calmly and Ripto puffing smoke from his nostrils)*

Wacky: (Drunkenly) **To Cortex**

**To Ripto**

**To Bowser**

**To Cortex**

**Slumberland’s greateeeeeest….**

*(Then with a gulp off-screen, Zam ate Wacky and licked his lips. The crew calmed down and looked shocked still as Cortex and Ripto petted Ripto’s pet) (Imagine the bumbling crew members giving the shocked expression Spongebob and Patrick made after their Krabby Patty Car got eaten by the frogfish and then the frogfish getting eaten by the giant eel from “The Spongebob Squarepants Movie”))*

Ripto: (Baby talk) Oh, Zam, my precious, my baby. Did Daddy’s sweet beast enjoy his tasty treat?

*(Zam replied with a burp and left. Cortex and Ripto then puts the plank away and went over to the front of the mast again and spoke to their crew)*

Cortex: We expect there will be no interruptions.

Ripto: Now, as we were singing....

*(He motioned the bell briefly and the crew snapped out of their shocked looks and resumed their song with their captain and admiral)*

Crew: **Even louder**

**We’ll shout it**

**No one can doubt**

**What we know you can do**

**You’re more evil than even you**

*(Mepps suddenly stopped singing and dancing upon noticing something in the sky and went up to the crow’s nest)*

Crew: **Oh Cortex**

**Oh Ripto**

**You’re one of a kind**

**To Cortex**

**To Ripto**

**Slumberland’s greatest criminal miiiiiiinds**

*(As the song concludes, Mepps suddenly shouted and got Cortex, Ripto, Bowser, and the crew’s attention)*

Mepps: Crash Bandicoot, Spyro, and Mario Brothers, ahoy!

*(Hearing him, Cortex, Ripto, Bowser, and the crew got surprised)*

Cortex: What?!

Bowser: Fire away!

Mepps: Three points off the starboard bow!

*(Cortex pulls his telescope out and looked to see Crash, Spyro, the Mario Brothers, and the Total Drama Girls flying towards Slumberland from afar, and they have Sabrina, Tawna, Peach, Daisy, Conrad, Sally, The Cat in the Hat, Krinklebein, Thing 1, Thing 2, Olivia, Fievel, Kirby, Tiff, Tuff, the Caballeros, Elena, and Salem flying next to them)*

Cortex: My gosh, it is Crash Bandicoot, Spyro the Dragon, and those pesky Mario Brothers!

*(He hands Ripto the telescope and Ripto saw them too)*

Ripto: Heading this way with some more bratty kids and a little black cat.

*(He and Ripto turned to their crew)*

Cortex and Ripto: Alright, my hearty crew! Look alive!

Bowser: You heard them!

*(The crew scattered into their battle positions while Jeanette is forced to work on the deck some more instead. Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser turned to the mates in excitement)*

Cortex: We got them this time, guys!

Ludwig: Indeed!

*(Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser turned to Negaduck and Fat Cat as they prepared a huge cannon)*

Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser: Man the Long Tom!

*(They turned to the mates again)*

Cortex: We’ve waited years for this!

Junior: That’s not counting the holidays, either.

Iggy: Such as Christmas?

Lemmy: Or Halloween?

Crush: (Whacking them with his club) Shut up!

*(Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser turned to Negaduck and Fat Cat again)*

Cortex and Ripto: Double the powder and shorten the fuse!

Bowser: Double the powder and shorten the fuse!

*(Cortex looked through his telescope again to see Crash, Spyro, the Mario Brothers, and the Total Drama Girls up on a faraway cloud with their new friends, showing them Slumberland)*

Cortex: What a sight! We’ll pot them like sitting ducks!

Bowser: Indeed.

*(They call out to the crew)*

Cortex: Alright! Range 42!

Morton: Range 42!

Ripto: Elevation 65!

Morton: Elevation 65!

Bowser: (To Morton) Stop repeating.

*(He resumed his commands with Cortex and Ripto)*

Bowser: Three degrees west!

Morton: Three degrees west!

Roy: (Elbowing him) Dad said stop repeating!

Cortex, Ripto, and Bowser: (Ignoring them) Steady now! Steeeeaaadddyyyyyy!!

*(Noticing that they are now ready to fire the cannon, the mates covered their ears, knowing how loud the cannon is)*

***Coming up: Crash, Spyro, the Mario Brothers, and their friends meet the Lost Mouse, Crows, Ponies, and Dragon and after Stephanie tried to kill Sabrina, Tawna, Peach, and Daisy, she’ll face the consequences.***