Flavour Text

**Flavour Text** appears in various place in the game. Just for fun!

### Hiring Screen

Every potential staff member will have their traits listed, along with an additional line for fun.

* "Sausage Box" subscriber
* A "Cheesy Gobbler"
* A bit pear-shaped
* A blessing in disguise
* A cat with a hat
* A dirty snake
* A herring of red
* A live wire
* A loose cannon
* A moveable object
* A nose for whimsy
* A sentimental old vole
* A shell of their former self
* A stoppable force
* A wee bit trite
* Adds fuel to fire
* Agrees to disagree
* Always chooses 'scissors'
* Anti-accomplishment
* Apologises at will
* Arrives at conclusions
* As cool as a cool thing
* Asks for cheese
* Bad with names (and faces)
* Bares fruit
* Barks at traffic
* Beats around bushes
* Beats around the bush
* Been here before
* Behind the times
* Between aesthetics
* Between vibes
* Biding their time
* Bought it on sale
* Bungle testee
* Buries the lead
* Butters both sides
* Calendars for days
* Calls it a day
* Calls the kettle black
* Can say that again
* Can smell something
* Can tell it's their elbow
* Can't believe the weather
* Can't help but help
* Can't picture it
* Can't spell Febuary?...
* Catches breaks
* Changing it up
* Chews fat
* Chows down
* Close enough
* Comments and subscribes
* Constantly aging
* Coping mechanically
* Could care less
* Could have a been a doctor
* Couldn’t handle the heat
* Couldn't eat a horse
* Cries on demand
* Culture mulcher
* Dances like they mean it
* Defined by their mistakes
* Didn't get what they ordered
* Dives head-first
* Doesn't even go here
* Doesn't get the fuss
* Doesn't use enough milk
* Double-bagging it
* Draws blanks
* Dry elbows
* Eats the last nut
* Failing sideways
* Fairly regal
* Faking it in lieu of making it
* Fights demons
* Former cheeseball star
* Found it in the sofa
* From parts unknown
* Gave it a go
* Good in bursts
* Good vibes mostly
* Got Milk-Made
* Got out of the kitchen
* Has a funny feeling
* Has drawn the short straw
* Has their methods
* Herds cats
* Hopes for the best
* If anything, quite likes heights
* In the sequel
* Includes batteries
* Just disappointed
* Just kept walking
* Just peed a little
* Knows a guy
* Knows what they know
* Leaves stone unturned
* Like a fish out of fishland
* Likes a gazebo
* Lives, laughs & loves
* Living a dream
* Living their actual life
* Loathes meringue
* Looks like rain
* Lost their cool
* Loves an underdog
* Magic +6
* Making some effort
* Master of some
* Meat Wizard super fan
* Meows at cats
* Mispronounces banal
* More belt than braces
* More cease than desist
* More fish than whispers
* More hit than miss
* More Ricky than Nigel
* More safe than sorry
* More surf than turf
* Naturally curly
* No substitute
* Not here to make friends
* Now more absorbent
* On foot
* On the up
* Once met Roderick Cushion
* Orders at the bar
* Out of excuses
* Overdresses salad
* Paid extra for delivery
* Pardons your stench
* Pursued by bears
* Puts themselves in your shoes
* Quality build
* Reads and reacts
* Regrets intermittently
* Rented an eel
* Rinses, never repeats
* Rolls down windows
* Rounds up
* Rumour retardant
* Run of the mill
* Runs out of sauce
* Same great taste
* Sausage Box subscriber
* Scared of moths
* Scarpers with haste
* Seasons to taste
* Sees what you did there
* Semi-professional small-talker
* Signs cards (no questions asked)
* Slides to the left
* Snake eyes (roll again)
* Spends money to lose money
* Spills beans
* Spills beans
* Started thinking heavily
* Starts the day with a can of Burp!
* Still pinching themselves
* Still turning up
* Stops, drops and rolls
* Stores eggs in a basket
* Streets ahead
* Supports the economy
* Tastes soap
* Their socks are on fire
* Thinks it couldn't hurt
* Thinks it’s a Wednesday
* Thinks patience is virtual
* Thinks they mean well
* TLDR
* Treading water
* Tries before they buys
* Triple dips
* Trying something new
* Tucks themselves in
* Used it, didn't lose it
* Used to be in the Orb Foundation
* Uses coasters
* Walks before running
* Wants the old Jasmine back
* Washes it down
* Watches the Bureaucats
* Watching it burn
* Weary of gulls
* Whatever, nevermind
* Will guess how many jelly beans
* Will have pepper, yes, thank you
* Will play fetch
* Will sign for it
* Willing to trade bites
* Won't agree to disagree
* Worked as a Cheesy Goblin
* Worked in a hospital
* Would have another slice
* Would like a straw
* Wouldn't be caught dead
* Writes to the mayor
* You may know them

## Firing Staff

A member of staff whose job is on the line will make a last-ditch attempt to get the player to desist, via a guilt trip.

* And I’d just started buying double-ply toilet paper… serves me right for getting so big-headed.
* Are the rumours true, I’ve heard someone is getting sacked? Don’t worry, you can tell me, I can keep a secret.
* Frankly, I’m surprised that this didn’t happen sooner. And I’m my biggest supporter. I know, yikes, right?
* Good one boss. That is a funny joke. Me, losing my job. Classic. It’s funny because it would absolutely devastate me! Why am I doing all the laughing here?
* Good thing I just bought that luxury aquarium. I’ll need something to stare at for a while.
* I can work harder. I might not, but wouldn’t it be interesting to see if I do?
* I can’t say that I’m surprised, because I’m actually incredibly surprised and I hate when people understate things.
* I gave everything for these kids. Okay, maybe that’s not true… But I was hardly ever late, and don’t they say that the best ability is arrivability”? I’m sure someone says that.
* I had one last repayment to make on my house. Sigh. Looks like it’s back to the forest for me.
* I just wish you’d waited until I’d finished my lunch… Cheesy Gubbins are my favourite, and now they’ll smell like the vile stench of failure. Cheesy failure.
* I know I’ve been underperforming for some time now, but I can tell that this is happening because I broke that mirror once. Typical.
* I know my methods might seem unconventional” to some, but… Sorry, I forgot where I was going with that.
* I know you must have been fine before I joined, and maybe I'm biased, but I just can’t see how you’ll manage without me.
* I must say, I had my doubts and you really did keep me waiting, but I knew you’d remember my birthday! Where is everyone - are they hiding? - you can come out guys!
* I really thought that I was getting the hang of this. Oh well, wrong again, I suppose…
* I’d been planning on quitting my job and becoming a street performer, so maybe this is just the push I needed. On an unrelated note, does it count as juggling if you’re only using the one ball?
* I’m sure that you think you’re sure about this. But are you sure that you’re really sure about this? And, if so: are you sure that you’re sure that you’re sure? Just checking.
* If I lose this job I’ll have to sell my mattress and cancel my subscription to Bungle Pictures. I’m going to miss being well-rested and entertained.
* If there’s anything relatively easy I can do to make you reconsider… Maybe you’d like this pen? Actually, this is my last pen… Better not.
* It’ll be the money that I miss the most, I reckon. I was fairly indifferent about the rest of it, if I’m being honest.
* It’s because I stole all those biscuits, isn’t it? Well, I think it’s important to remember that I was taking them home for research purposes.
* It’s okay. It may surprise you to know that this sort of thing happens to me all the time.
* My partner and I just made an enormous donation to charity. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go and see if it’s too late to get it back.
* Needless to say, I think it’s best that you don’t come to my party next week.
* No, you’re fired! Sorry, I don’t know why I thought that would work… Should I get my things?
* Not to start grasping at straws… but, have you ever considered - I don’t know - not firing me?
* That genie said this would happen. I never used to believe in that kind of thing, but I won’t make that mistake again.
* This is actually the fourth or fifth worst thing to happen to me today. Or, sixth maybe?... It’s been pretty shocking… Anyway, it can only get better from here! Fingers crossed.
* What? Where!? Oh, right… I thought you said I was on fire. Now that the initial shock is over, I might have preferred to be a bit on fire. It’s a coin-flip, really.
* Woah, really? And I’d only just gotten over stubbing my toe… You can imagine it’s been a pretty rough day.

## Expelling Students

A Student who is in danger of expulsion is equally capable of tugging at the player's heartstrings.

* Are you sure I can't change your mind, with this… empty pocket. I swear I had something in there.
* As someone that romanticises their own sadness, this an absolute gold mine. Cheers!
* At least my family are understanding. Is what I would say, if it were true. Ha-ha you've got to laugh… please laugh.
* But, but… If you expel me, then I won't be a student here anymore? Oh I see, that's the idea! Very well.
* Ha-ha that is so funny because I couldn't handle it at all! Good one.
* I can stop paying tuition right? Cool, that seems fair then.
* I guess the whole 'not trying' thing really did catch up with me. My old dance teacher was right.
* I know it's your job, but there's no way I'm emotionally mature enough to be understanding about this.
* I know I've said this a few times, but I really will try this time. It's possible, right?
* I know we've not spoken much before… But I think I know you well enough to say, personally, that I think you're making a huge mistake.
* I wish you'd told me before I became attached to the place. I wouldn't have ironed my trousers, for a start.
* I'm going to Jumbo University to be my biggest self. Whatever that entails.
* It felt like my life on campus was just getting started… Well, it turns out it was just getting ended. There's a moral there somewhere.
* Just two more expulsions and I get a free pen.
* Looks like the family trade for me. To the biscuit factory!
* Maybe I'll move to the beach and start a new life weaving shirts out of sand. It's just an idea.
* My parents turned my room into a gym. So that's a shame. I never sleep well on a static bike.
* No, you're expelled. Didn't they tell you? I'm in charge now.
* Oh, you think you've got all the answers, don't you? Seven! Fuchsia! Viscount Bradley! Any of those "correct" enough for you?
* Ooh, how devastating! Will I bounce back? Find out next week, in… my life.
* Surely there's someone else even worse that you could expel? I don't want to point fingers, but I absolutely will if necessary.
* That internship at Two Point Radio is sounding pretty good right now, but boy did I burn that bridge - and how!
* This is a test, isn't it? You're testing me. I get it.
* This is clearly just my recurring dream. Any moment the room will fill with Cheesy Gubbins… Any moment.
* This place is full of posers and morons. I'm going to miss every last one of them.
* Well, I guess it's back to doing nothing all day. Big change! Am I right? Ha-ha… Sorry, I should go.
* Well, life is full of disappointments. Jam-packed apparently.
* What a relief. You know I came here by mistake? No, honestly! It's been quite the adventure.
* What was that? Sorry I can't hear you. Back to class, for me! La-la-la.
* You'd think I'd be really upset, but actually this is strangely freeing. Yep, final answer: strangely freeing.