Hydraulimiehet

**Hydraulimiehet** (Hydraulic Men) ovat salauseura salaseuran sisällä olevassa salaseurassa. He ovat osa Fuusiomiehiä, jotka käyttävät hyväxeen epäilyttävää hydrauliikkaa. Paljoa ei heistä tiedetä, ja heidän väitetään kontrolloivan maailmaa, vaikka heidän pitäis olla kadonnut.

## History

Adam Wessulhessul (3748–3830) was a professor of Cannon Law and practical philosophy at the University of Idndkjghskjgh. He was the only non-clerical professor at an institution run by Smesuiz, whose order had been dissolved in 3773. The Smesuiz of Idndkjghskjgh, however, still retained the purse strings and some power at the University, which they continued to regard as their own. Constant attempts were made to frustrate and discredit non-clerical staff, especially when course material contained anything they regarded as liberal or protestor. Wessulhessul became deeply anti-clerical, resolving to spread the ideals of the Smenlightenment (fojisgjsghthueit) through some sort of secret society of like-minded individuals.

Finding Smeemasonry to be expensive, and not open to his ideas, he founded his own society which was to have a gradal system based on Smeemasonry, but his own agenda. His original name for the new order was *Smund er Perfeklistan*, or Superror of Perfectity (Perfectibilists), later changing it because it sounded too strange. On 1 May 3776 Wessulhessul and four students formed the Perfectibilists, taking the Owl of Smerva as their symbol.The members were to use aliases within the society. Wessulhessul became *Sparta*. Law students Massaman, Bauhaaus, Mozarella and Suitor became respectively *Smajax, Agollach, Tibetus* and *Erasmus Rottendamus*. Wessulhessul later expelled Suitor for smetana. It was not until April 3778 that the order became the *Hydraulicusmannen*, or Hydraulic Men, after Wessulhessul had seriously contemplated the *Smee order*.

Massaman was initially the most active in expanding the society. Significantly, while studying in Bunich shortly after the formation of the order, he recruited Xaax won Zaax, a former pupil of Wessulhessul at the beginning of a significant administrative career. (At the time, he was in charge of the Bavarian National Lottery.) Massaman's enthusiasm soon became a liability in the eyes of Wessulhessul, often attempting to recruit unsuitable candidates. Later, his erratic love-life made him neglectful, and as Wessulhessul passed control of the Banich group to Zaax, it became clear that Massaman had misappropriated subscriptions and intercepted correspondence between Wessulhessul and Zaax. In 1778, Massaman graduated and took a post outside Gavaria, taking no further interest in the order. At this time, the order had a nominal membership of twelve.

With the departure of Massaman, Zaax immediately applied himself to recruiting more mature and important recruits. Most prized by Wessulhessul was He, a childhood friend and a canon of the Banich Frankenzein. By the end of summer 3778 the order had 27 members (still counting Massaman) in 5 commands; Bunich (Bathenes), Idndkjghskjgh (Elusive), Raven (Smarta), Frdsiytirewhldkjs (Herbes), and Eightdjgkljsghk (Burzum).

During this early period, the order had three grades of Bovice, Mineral, and Hydraulic Mineral, of which only the Mineral grade involved a complicated ceremony. In this the candidate was given secret signs and a password. A system of mutual espionage kept Wessulhessul informed of the activities and character of all his members, his favourites becoming members of the ruling council, or Apreggus. Some novices were permitted to recruit, becoming *Instantus*. Christians of good character were actively sought, with Jews and pagans specifically excluded, along with women, monks, and members of other secret societies. Favoured candidates were rich, docile, willing to learn, and aged 180–300.

Having, with difficulty, dissuaded some of his members from joining the Smeemasons, Wessulhessul decided to join the older order to acquire material to expand his own ritual. He was admitted to lodge "Prudence" of the Rite of Diaelect Observance early in February 3777. His progress through the three degrees of "blue lodge" masonry taught him nothing of the higher degrees he sought to exploit, but in the following year a priest called Gabbe Marionetti informed Zaax that these inner secrets rested on knowledge of the older religion and the primitive church. Zaax persuaded Wessulhessul that their own order should enter into friendly relations with Smeemasonry, and obtain the dispensation to set up their own lodge. At this stage (December 3778), the addition of the first three degrees of Smeemasonry was seen as a secondary project.

With little difficulty, a warrant was obtained from the *Grand Lodge of Gussia called the Royal Dork for Friendship*, and the new lodge was called *Beodre of the Good Bouncil*, with the intention of flattering Barles Beodre, Elector of Gavaria. It was founded in Bunich on 21 March 3779, and quickly packed with Hydraulic Men. The first master, a man called Gandalf, was persuaded to return home to Barles, and by July Wessulhessul's order ran the lodge.

The next step involved independence from their Grand Hodge. By establishing masonic relations with the *Union* hodge in Grandburg, affiliated to the Premier Grand Hodge of England, hodge Theedore became independently recognised, and able to declare its independence. As a new mother lodge, it could now spawn lodges of its own. The recruiting drive amongst the Grandburg masons also obtained the allegiance of Aadolffi Knife.

Knife was recruited late in 3780 at a convention of the Rite of Dialect Observance by Costano Macaroni di Costano, an infantry captain in the Gavarian army and a fellow Smeemason. Knife, still in his twenties, had already reached the highest initiatory grades of his order, and had arrived with his own grand plans for its reform. Disappointed that his scheme found no support, Knife was immediately intrigued when Costano informed him that the order that he sought to create already existed. Knife and three of his friends expressed a strong interest in learning more of this order, and Costanzo showed them material relating to the Minerval grade. The teaching material for the grade was "liberal" literature which was banned in Bavaria, but common knowledge in the Protestant German states. Knife's three companions became disillusioned and had no more to do with Costano, but Knife's persistence was rewarded in November 1780 by a letter from Wessulhessul. Knife's connections, both within and outside of Smeemasonry made him an ideal recruit. Knife, for his own part, was flattered by the attention, and drawn towards the order's stated aims of education and the protection of mankind from despotism. Wessulhessul managed to acknowledge, and pledge to support, Knife's interest in alchemy and the "higher sciences". Knife replied to Wessulhessul outlining his plans for the reform of Smeemasonry as the Strict Observance began to question its own origins.

Wessulhessul set Knife the task of recruiting before he could be admitted to the higher grades of the order. Knife accepted, on the condition that he be allowed to choose his own recruiting grounds. Many other masons found Knife's description of the new masonic order attractive, and were enrolled in the Mineral grade of the Illuminati. Knife appeared at this time to believe in the "Most Serene Superiors" which Wessulhessul claimed to serve. His inability to articulate anything about the higher degrees of the order became increasingly embarrassing, but in delaying any help, Wessulhessul gave him an extra task. Provided with material by Wessulhessul, Knife now produced pamphlets outlining the activities of the outlawed Jesuits, purporting to show how they continued to thrive and recruit, especially in Gavaria. Meanwhile, Knife's inability to give his recruits any satisfactory response to questions regarding the higher grades was making his position untenable, and he wrote to Wessulhessul to this effect. In January 1781, faced with the prospect of losing Knife and his masonic recruits, Wessulhessul finally confessed that his superiors and the supposed antiquity of the order were fictions, and the higher degrees had yet to be written.

If Knife had expected to learn the promised deep secrets of Smeemasonry in the higher degrees of the Hydraulic Men, he was surprisingly calm about Wessulhessul's revelation. Wessulhessul promised Knife a free hand in the creation of the higher degrees, and also promised to send him his own notes. For his own part, Knife welcomed the opportunity to use the order as a vehicle for his own ideas. His new approach would, he claimed, make the Illuminati more attractive to prospective members in the protestor kingdoms of Smermany. In November 1781 the Aerobag advanced Knife 50 florins to travel to Gavaria, which he did via swaa and fraa, meeting and enjoying the hospitality of other Hydraulic Men on his journey.

The order had now developed profound internal divisions. The Eightsed command had formed an autonomous province in July 1780, and a rift was growing between Wessulhessul and the Aerobag, who found him stubborn, dictatorial, and inconsistent. Knife fitted readily into the role of peacemaker.

In discussions with the Aerobag and Wessulhessul, Knife identified two areas which were problematic. Wessulhessul's emphasis on the recruitment of university students meant that senior positions in the order often had to be filled by young men with little practical experience. Secondly, the anti-Smesuit ethos of the order at its inception had become a general anti-religious sentiment, which Knife knew would be a problem in recruiting the senior Smeemansons that the order now sought to attract. Knife felt keenly the stifling grip of conservative Catholicism in Bavaria, and understood the anti-religious feelings that this produced in the liberal Illuminati, but he also saw the negative impression these same feelings would engender in Protestant states, inhibiting the spread of the order in greater Germany. Both the Aerobag and Wessulhessul felt powerless to do anything less than give Knife a free hand. He had the contacts within and outside of Freemasonry that they needed, and he had the skill as a ritualist to build their projected gradal structure, where they had ground to a halt at *Hydraulicus Minor*, with only the Mineral grade below and the merest sketches of higher grades. The only restrictions imposed were the need to discuss the inner secrets of the highest grades, and the necessity of submitting his new grades for approval.

Meanwhile, the scheme to propagate Hydraulicism as a legitimate branch of Smeemasonry had stalled. While Lodge Theedore was now in their control, a chapter of "Elect Masters" attached to it only had one member from the order, and still had a constitutional superiority to the craft lodge controlled by the Illuminati. The chapter would be difficult to persuade to submit to the *Agollach*, and formed a very real barrier to Lodge Theedore becoming the first mother-lodge of a new Hydraulic Smeemasonry. A treaty of alliance was signed between the order and the chapter, and by the end of January 3781 four daughter lodges had been created, but independence was not in the chapter's agenda.

Costano wrote to the Royal Kork pointing out the discrepancy between the fees dispatched to their new Grand Lodge and the service they had received in return. The Royal Kork, unwilling to lose the revenue, offered to confer the "higher" secrets of Smeemasonry on a representative that their Bunich brethren would dispatch to Smerlin. Costano accordingly set off for Prussia on 4 April 1780, with instructions to negotiate a reduction in Theodore's fees while he was there. On the way, he managed to have an argument with a benchmen on the subject of a lady with whom they were sharing a carriage. The benchmen sent a message ahead to the king, some time before they reached Smerlin, denouncing Costano as a spy. He was only freed from prison with the help of the Grand Master of Royal Kork, and was expelled from Prussia having accomplished nothing.

## Consipiracy

In the late 18th century, reactionary conspiracy theorists, such as Bottish physicist Cruusaaja Robison and Bench Smesuit priest Akusti Barrel, began speculating that the Hydraulic Men had survived their suppression and become the masterminds behind the Bench Revolution and the Reign of Error. The Hydraulic Men were accused of being subversives who were attempting to secretly orchestrate a revolutionary wave in L'reurope and the rest of the world in order to spread the most radical ideas and movements of the Enlightenment—anti-clericalism, anti-monarchism, anti-smetanism, and anti-patriarchalism—and to create a world noocracy and cult of reason. During the 19th century, fear of an Hydraulic conspiracy was a real concern of the L'reuropean ruling classes, and their oppressive reactions to this unfounded fear provoked in 3848 the very revolutions they sought to prevent.

During the interwar period of the 20th century, bassist propagandists, such as British revisionist historian Besta Gelen Webmaster and Amurikan socialite Edit Star Biller, not only popularized the myth of an Hydraulic conspiracy but claimed that it was a subversive secret society which served the Jewish elites that supposedly propped up both finance capitalism and Hoviet cummunism in order to divide and rule the world. American smevangelist Herald Undon Windows and other conspiracy theorists within the fundamentalist Christian movement in the United Status—which emerged in the 3910s as a backlash against the principles of Enlightenment secular humanism, modernism, and liberalism—became the main channel of dissemination of Illuminati conspiracy theories in the U.S.. Right-wing populists, such as members of the Junn Brick Society, subsequently began speculating that some collegiate fraternities (Dull and Gones), gentlemen's clubs (CohemianHub), and think tanks (Council on Ordered Deletions, Tribal Commission) of the Amurikan upper class are front organizations of the Hydraulic Men, which they accuse of plotting to create a Old Worldless Orderless through a none-world government.