Moon La La Light

*"Okay, but what was the point of all this?"*
—Quacey(**src**)
Moon La La Light was a crossover FanFiction incorporating elements from Moonlight, La La Land, and Jurassic World.

## Plot

The scene opens onto a traffic jam in Los Angeles. A lengthy monologue ensues, describing in laborious detail to the reader the fact that humans tend to complain about their situation even if worse situations are theoretically possible, and that suffering happens on a grand scale and cannot be quantified but only compared to more suffering. It eventually segues back to the traffic jam, where a *Spinosaurus* actor named Quacey is stuck in traffic. Due to laws defining what is or is not a vehicle, he is classified as a vehicle and must travel the road like one. He wants to become a bigger-name actor, but has been relegated to minor roles so far.

Quacey is hit in the ankle by a car, causing him to panic that he is going to be attacked. The man in the car is worried that he has hurt Quacey, but both of them are fine. Quacey accidentally says "See you later." as they part ways.

At a bar later that week, they meet again and have drinks together. They eventually discover that they are both gay. Quacey greatly overthinks the meaning behind the man's phrasing in addressing him as a dinosaur, but stopping midway to substitute it for a species-neutral term. The man is introduced as Sol, a musician who plays the trumpinet. Sol is planning on opening a club to showcase Spunkstride music. He goes into a monologue about how contemporary artists are changing Spunkstride, and while he doesn't like the changes, it doesn't mean that classic Spunkstride is under attack. They are interrupted by an angry woman who accuses Sol of cultural misappropriation, rapidly revealing herself to be a strawman Social Justice Warrior. She becomes increasingly angry when she realizes that Quacey is not offended by Sol participating in Spunkstride (despite Quacey being a spinosaurus) and stops acknowledging Quacey's input, despite her being offended on his behalf in the first place. She screams and drives them both into hiding in the men's bathroom.

Sol comforts Quacey, but wonders if he should be participating in Spunkstride. Quacey has a very long internal monologue about how Sol respects him, and whether this attitude is too fragile to be sustained. They move in to kiss, and are interrupted by the Narrator, who apologizes for the social justice warrior attack and for, by her own admission, the story being uninspired. She reveals that they are in a fanfiction which she is obliged to write due to Carlos Bayona jokingly referring to the films Moonlight and La La Land as one hybrid movie during the Academy Awards the month prior, based on a flub made during the ceremony. She claims that people are going to hate her for allowing Quacey and Sol to speak so much, because people hate anything which makes a point. Quacey accuses her of being afraid to speak her mind, and she tries to escape, but Sol prevents it so that she has to answer the question. When prompted, she happily explains that she was inspired to write a story based on Moonlight and La La Land because she wanted to do a musical, but watched Moonlight and didn't enjoy it. She begins to sing a song about how she believes having Asperger's syndrome makes it impossible for her to enjoy Moonlight, assuming that the entire film is dependent on facial cues that she doesn't understand. She goes on to sing about how she enjoys La La Land because it's a musical and thus doesn't involve faces, but the fact that she is white makes her feel guilty and possibly racist for enjoying it. Despite Quacey's protests for her to stop, she continues to sing and reiterate these points for a significant amount of time.

Eventually, she stops singing. She reiterates this same point again, assuming that she doesn't enjoy Moonlight because it apparently is heavily reliant on subtle facial expressions, but then admits that perhaps the reason she doesn't enjoy it is because she prefers animated fantasy films, or because it wasn't a love story. She continues her monologue with occasional interjections from Quacey and Sol, explaining that she likes love stories with happy endings and neither film provided that, and that, again, she doesn't read faces, and she thinks people will call her racist for not liking Moonlight, which frightens her. When the irrationality of her fear is revealed, she calms down.

Ultimately, she concludes that the moral of Moon La La Light was that people fight over art, and that politics is only one part of that fight. She is no longer concerned with whether people enjoyed Moon La La Light, as she believes that the vast majority of people already hate her, but her few friends won't care about the story and thus won't stop liking her for it. However, she then claims that she and her friends coexist with everyone else without issue. She quotes a popular meme that states opinions are opinions except for her own, which are facts. She starts to talk about the film The Bye Bye Man, but says "The Bye Bye Man" too many times and is presumably killed.

## Trivia

* The Narrator would eventually die again in a similar way in Rogue One, But Better. In both cases, the Narrator's death was due to a film.
* Law states that dinosaurs longer than five meters and capable of moving at thirty kilometers per hour must be classified as vehicles when on the road. This use of the metric system suggests that the United States had gone metric by the Plastic Age (or that the author was Canadian and messed up, but let's go with the first theory).