Caillou Gets Fired

**Caillou Gets Fired** is an one-time skit on *Sketch Satires*.

## Transcript

(*The skit opens with a scene where Caillou sees an ice cream truck*)

**Caillou:** Daddy, looky! Ice cream! I want ice cream.

**Boris (Caillou's dad):** Okay, Caillou. We'll just go and see what they got.

**Caillou:** Yippie!

(*Arrives at the truck*)

**Ice cream man:** What can I serve you?

**Boris:** I'm on diet, but my son wants an ice cream. Tell him what you want, Caillou. Go ahead.

**Caillou:** Well.... I want every flavor you got.

(*The ice cream man scoops a whole scoop of ice cream in various flavors*)

**Ice cream man:** That'll be... $19.97 in price please.

**Boris:** (*reaching to his wallet to find he got $4.00*) Oh, gee. This ain't enough for your ice cream, Caillou; I got only four bucks.

**Ice cream man:** Sir, I'd be happy to make this treat cheaper by removing any flavor that your son requested to either 2 or 1, coasting $2.00 instead.

**Caillou:** (*screaming and throw a tantrum*) NO!! I WANT THE WAY IT IS NOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!

**Boris:** (*to the ice cream man*) I think that's fine. Just gimme the ice cream and here's the money. (*Hands him $4.00*) Thank you.

**Ice cream man:** (*angry*) Sir, you need pay more than what you’ve got for that whole scoop, you know!

**Boris:** Just accept it anyway. The customer is always right!

**Ice cream man:** (*sighs vexedly as he takes the money; to himself*) Whatta cheap steak.

**Caillou:** (*continues throwing his tantrums*) I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA!!!

**Boris:** Here, Caillou. While scope you wished.

**Caillou:** (*happily takes his ice cream*) Yay! (*attempts to lick his ice cream, until suddenly...*)

**Voice-over:** CUT!!!

(*Caillou stutters by the yell, causing his whole flavor of ice cream to fall down to bray him. Caillou peaks out from the ice cream pile*)

**Caillou:** (*Deep voice; who is actually a man*) Who the hell said "cut"?!

(*The camera pans right to a backstage, where the staff are filming an episode of "Caillou"*)

**Director:** It wasn't me, Mr. Caillou sir.

**Caillou:** Well, whoever has the rights to have orders to everyone in the backstage while filming this episode?

**Voice-over:** That's me.

**Caillou:** Wha? (*Gaze around to meet a TV executive*) Oh. Whatzup?

**TV executive:** Stop "whatzup" me!

**Caillou:** Okay... what is the deal here, boss? We're expecting this episode to be on the air.

**TV executive:** Oh, no. It won't be.

(*Silence*)

**Caillou:** Ha ha ha! Good joke, sir. You really pulled us a good one.

**TV executive:** Did you think I'm fucking joking?! No! I have nothing to pull you!

**Caillou:** Huh?! What the hell you're trying to say?!

**TV executive:** Well, I hate to say to you, Mr. Caillou. But the show is no longer available to air and so is you.

**Caillou:** WHAT?! You can't think of canceling the show and firing me, can ya?! I say, the show's popular and the kids love me for years!

**TV executive:** Of course I can do that, it's my job!

**Caillou:** Okay, then reason me why you have the right to kick my ass out?

**TV executive:** Well, for starters, Mr. Caillou, your show has been getting a lot of negative feedback! (*goes away for a second and returns with several carts filled with angry letters*) See these angry letters? They all complain about your show and how bad it-

**Caillou:** (*interrupting*) How the hell is my show so god damn bad?

**TV executive:** Well, your show is a bad influence on our younger viewers.

**Calliou:** Nobody's perfect, but can I know why?

TBD