We're All Dicks Here

*We're All Dicks Here* is the title of the eighth episode of the second season of The Numen Swell and the twentieth session of the entire game.

This session was played on August 12th, 2018

## We're All Dicks Here

### Writer

Jonny Christie, Matt Christie, Matt Finger, Richie Maynard, Kyle Muller

## Plot

The crew of the Armadillo reunite to deal with the fallout.

## Synopsis

Mikey awakens on the Daronna Rose and goes to speak with Rika. He asks how much longer they have to wait as the land party comes bolting down the beach and onto the ship. They take off south, planning their next move once they’re in open water. Kifo inspects the coin he was given by Black Scalp and notices the VIII inscribed on it. He tries to do some mental math to figure out how he is only the eighth. This leads to him and Sonney going on wild speculations about who else has coins. They put it on hold for now, more concerned about their current situation. Kifo decides to rest and attempt to speak with the souls within him. He runs into Vic Hawklight first. Then he finds Black Scalp. They discuss what Kifo is now entitled to as his successor. The former pirate lord doesn’t give him any straight answers, only cryptic messages and riddles. Kifo wakes back up, with puzzles that now need to be solved. By process of elimination, Kifo is confident his treasure is on Gangkou. Tecnic awakens and is immediately abrasive (with Reason) to the Sahuagin on his ship. Sahge wakes up Mwana and they argue with the Captain until Kifo and Sonney arrive, followed shortly by Mikey. It turns into a every man against Tecnic situation once he turns his anger to Sonney for being navy. Only Kifo understands Tecnic’s frustrations but still sides with the crew. It’s at this point that Tecnic retreats to the captain’s quarters while Kifo and Sonney catch Mikey up on the Pirate Lords.

Mikey thinks Mint might have one of the coins but Sonney shuts that down because Mint is Admiral, he has no reason to be a pirate also. It leads into the crew of the A Mural’s Bone and Sonney discussing Mikey’s uselessness. Kifo goes to Tecnic to calm him down. Tecnic is adamant on getting rid of Sahge and possibly even Sonney. Kifo informs him of his lordship and the captains entire mood changes. He’s so happy for his quartermaster. But he still wants the traitors gone. At that point Sonney appears and they argue over who has saved who more. The arguing grows to a point where Kifo steps between them and disarms the situation. Kifo requests that they go to Gangkou and get more men before getting the Armadillo. Tecnic eventually agrees. Kifo also mentions he would like to speak with Sirene at some point about abandoning him. Tecnic shows him one of the many advantages of having a Piece of Eight and speaks to the Aquatic Elf through it. He finds out that the majority of Kifo’s men are on Etoile so they should go there. Kifo leaves to prepare and inform the crew leaving Tecnic and Sonney alone. Tecnic acts like he’s been pretending to hate Sonney which ticks off the Lookout. He shoves his “friend” and drops the truth on him. Tecnic claps back and they both come to the agreement that Sonney will leave the crew once they have the other ships back. Mikey and Mwana speak about where they are going after the crew splits. Mikey doesn’t want to be with Tecnic anymore while Mwana is indifferent. He knows Sahge won’t be accepted on the Armadillo but he doesn’t want to go with his father either. They come to the consensus that they’ll probably join Kifo. Kifo rushes to Tecnic with a plan. They want to be pirates together again and decide to rob a boat.

The first ship they come across will be their prey. A few days later, they find their victim. It’s a montage of crazy. Sahge decides he doesn’t want to board and fires his explosives from the deck, taking particular interest in Tecnic, who he downs. Mwana notices the purpose and stabilizes the captain, aware the couple will have to speak in the near future. They leave one man alive, named Thomas Dawkins. They interrogate him and find out this is a feather merchant ship. Kifo and Sonney step aside and decide to take the ship with a few men and leave Tecnic on the Daronna Rose. Kifo fully intends to return and help get the Armadillo but there is too much tension for them to travel all the way to Gangkou together.

The smaller vessel departs with Kifo, Sonney, Sahge, Mwana, Mikey, and Thomas. Kifo calls a meeting. He questions why Sahge straight up attacked Tecnic. He basically says that he’s a dick and Mikey agrees. Everyone tells him to shut up and it becomes clear that everyone is mean to Mikey. Kifo then asks Thomas where they can sell his feathers. He agrees to help if they set him free. Kifo decides if they can sell ALL the merchandise he can go. Sonney offers him 10% of the profits and he counters with 90%. They decide to lock him up and sell them themselves. They make a pit stop at Dunia port to sell. They come to the agreement that Sonney will be the “Merchant” and Mikey will be his “Apprentice”. The two take one crate and enter the port.

## Cast

### Main

* Benjamin Tecnic
* Sonney Griffin-Thorne
* Kifo Pomboo
* Mikey
* Mwana Pomboo
* Sahge Montgomery

### Supporting

* Mshi Rika
* Gregory
* Vic Hawklight
* Ikko "Black Scalp" Wotan
* Thomas Dawkins

## Trivia

* This episode reveals that Kifo and two other unnamed individuals are officially new Pirate Lords.