Everywhere All At Once/Quotes

**The following is a partial transcript of the *Mountain of Mystery* episode "Everywhere All At Once"**:

## Prints and the Reaper

**REAPER**: “You seem to have found a way around the rules.”

**PRINTS**: “I didn’t know there were rules.”

**REAPER**: “Mmm.”

**PRINTS**: “You care to explain that?”

**REAPER**: “Everything in life and death has rules. Your friend fell in battle, and the rules say they move on. You offered a deal when I came, and I heard you. Been a long time – *long time* – since I’ve heard an offer like that. Who am I to refuse?”

**PRINTS**: “So... hypothetically speaking: if I completely blacked out in that moment and have *no* idea what the Hel you're talking about, could you refresh my memory?”

**REAPER**: “You offered to accept any consequence if your friend was brought back. I accepted.”

**PRINTS**: "That sounds like me."

**REAPER**: “Now then. As for what I get in return: you will work towards taking my place.”

**PRINTS**: “As…?”

**REAPER**: “There are many gods of death. The Raven Queen; Kelemvor; quite a few others. But they themselves can’t be everywhere all at once, so they employ people like me to collect souls here and there. You will be once of these people.”

**PRINTS**: “Just that easy, huh? Just–”

**REAPER**: “Oh, no. Not at all.”

**PRINTS**: “Figures.”

**REAPER**: “You will go through trials, and when you, your body, and your soul is ready, you will step up and take my place.”

**PRINTS**: “And, not saying I– Not saying that I’m considering this, but just making sure I cross all the T's and dot all the I's... there’s no, like, uh, takesy-backsy kind of thing for this, right?”

**REAPER**: [laughs] “Sure there is.”

*The Reaper gestures to Trouble, who clutches their chest and drops to their knees, breathing heavily.*
**REAPER**: "All you have to do is say the word."

**PRINTS**: "That's– I– I was just asking! Hyp– hypothetical!"

**REAPER**: "Really? Are you sure?"

**PRINTS**: "Yes! Stop.

*Trouble gasps and looks around concerned.*
**PRINTS**: "Alright. Just a question. Geez. I–"

**REAPER**: "Mmm. And I gave you an answer. I'm very direct."

**PRINTS**: "I guess, in the kind of business you're in, you kind of have to be."

**REAPER**: "Hm.

**PRINTS**: "How long have you been... like this?"

**REAPER**: "Uh... Three, four centuries?”

**PRINTS**: "Oh, shit.

**REAPER**: "Something like that."

**PRINTS**: "And when I take your place, what happens to you?"

**REAPER**: "I have no idea. And that's exciting."

**PRINTS**: "That's not scary?"

**REAPER**: "No."

**PRINTS**: "Oh, okay."

**REAPER**: "No. Things like the unknowable no longer scare me. I have seen too much, heard even more, to feel fear of such things."

**PRINTS**: "Okay. I mean, I– I don't doubt that I made the deal, and Trouble's around, and that's the most important thing, so what do you need me to do?"

**REAPER**: "Your first trial will be along shortly."

**PRINTS**: "Great."

**REAPER**: "If you survive it, you will see me again, and I will prepare the second. I know not how many there will be: there will be until you are ready. So that's all up to you."

**PRINTS**: "So what happens– what happens if I fail? What happens to Trouble?"

**REAPER**: "If you fail, you and your friend move on, the way things were intended."

**PRINTS**: "No pressure! Got it! Okay!"

**REAPER**: "None at all. I'm sure you'll be fine. As mortals like to say: 'I have faith in you'."

**PRINTS**: "I wish I could say the same."

**REAPER**: [laughs] "Your lineage is one of... unexpected outcomes, for sure, and it is because of that I have complete faith that you'll be the one to succeed. When the time is right, of course. `Til then, I will keep an eye, and watch your progress. Good luck, Fresh Prints."

**PRINTS**: "Thanks? Hey: are the red eyes part of the deal too? Do I– oh, okay–"

## Kiata and Aodhin's Daughter

**LAZARUS**: "I thought the wings were cool."

**KAHLAN**: "They are pretty cool, but there is a time and a place."

**LIAM**: "They were great. It was a great idea."

**LAZARUS**: "That was the time. That– that was the place. It's only one minutes."

**LIAM**: "First impressions. They're very important."

**LAZARUS**: "Right?"

**KAHLAN**: "Mm-hm."

**LAZARUS**: "He was big. I'm a little dude. But wings?"

**LIAM**: "Yeah. Not exactly asserting dominance. Just– just, ya know..."

**LAZARUS** "No. You got your thing, I got my thing."

**ABOUKIR**: "It was mildly impressive."

**LAZARUS**: [laughs] "Right."

**KAHLAN**: "Anyway... There's something I need to talk with you about, Laz."

**LAZARUS**: "You don't love me, do you?"

**KAHLAN**: "I–" [laughs] "No."

**LAZARUS**: "Good. It's only been six days. It'd be weird."

**KAHLAN**: "Yeah. I haven't been entirely... truthful with you, Laz. About who I am."

**LAZARUS**: "I knew it. You're a Lady."

**KAHLAN**: [laughs]

**LAZARUS**: "You're secretly a princess."

**KAHLAN**: "Oh, god, I wish."

*Kahlan removes a wrapped bundle from her pack.*
**KAHLAN**: "Um, honestly, I was– I was wondering how long it was going to take for you to figure out, um, but then you almost died, and..."

**LAZARUS**: "I do that."

**KAHLAN**: "I realized that it was stupid for me to not tell you this."

*Kahlan reveals a pair of Kingsguard daggers with hawk-wing crossguards.*
**LAZARUS**: "Where... did you get these?"

**KAHLAN**: "I got these from the burned remains of my parents' house."

**LAZARUS**: "Oh... you're not Kahlan are you? You're Little Kay. You're Kiata and Aodhin's daughter."

**KAHLAN**: "Yes, I am."

**LAZARUS**: "Where have you been?"

**KAHLAN**: "Everywhere I shouldn't be."

**LAZARUS**: "I am so sorry that you ended up in any of those places, because we should have brought you back, and they wouldn't let me come– they wouldn't let us come find you."

**KAHLAN**: "I mean, why would they want to find me?"

**LAZARUS**: "The Queen had died a couple of weeks before... what happened, and they said that we didn't have the resources to go after... a civilian."

**KAHLAN**: "After a tiefling. I understand."

**LAZARUS**: "I'm sorry I didn't defy them."

**KAHLAN**: "You didn't know me. You don't have anything to apologize for. I didn't think it was that important to tell you who I was mainly because I thought it would be funny to see how long it would take for you to put the pieces together, but other things happened, and I felt bad that you might die and not know who I was."

**LAZARUS**: "Well it seems I'm much better at dying than I am at putting pieces together, because I am stronger than I am smart."

**KAHLAN**: [laughs]

**LAZARUS**: "I don't know what you've been through, but you are here, and that is more than I could have hoped for. After we found the– what was left of the body of the person responsible, we assumed the worst. We were told to assume the worst. So the worst didn't happen, and so that's better."

**KAHLAN**: "Yes, that was... justified, in my opinion."

**LAZARUS**: "It was absolutely justified."

*Lazarus wraps the daggers and hands them back to Kahlan.*
**KAHLAN**: "I did at least, in the end, end up doing some good, if you... know the fate of Ren Kata."

**LAZARUS**: "Is that..." [gestures to the scar on Kahlan's face; she nods] "Then you have done the world a good deal of good, and tonight solved at least one mystery. I had feared that, uh, those daggers had been sold for a pittance by the piece of shit that... did what he did. It's good to see they're back in the hands they belong in."

**KAHLAN**: "Mm. I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

**LAZARUS**: "It's okay."

**KAHLAN**: "But I'm glad that... you now know *all* my secrets."

**LAZARUS**: "All‐ every single of them?"

**KAHLAN**: "Right Liam?"

**LIAM**: "Well... So, on her back, there–"

**KAHLAN**: "No, don't answer that."

**LIAM**: "Right above the tailbone, there's this– there's this tattoo."

**LAZARUS**: "Very good."

*Kahlan hugs Lazarus.*
**LAZARUS**: "Welcome back, Young Lady."

## Your Life and Your Death

**PRINTS**: "Um, d'you– you sleep okay?"

**TROUBLE**: "Do you want what would make you happy, or the truth?"

**PRINTS**: "I mean, I just want th– I just want to know, so the truth."

**TROUBLE**: "Absolutely not. I spent most of the night staring at you, making sure you were still alive."

**PRINTS**: "See, I thought I imagined that feeling."

**TROUBLE**: "No, it was very real, and I understand how that might have been upsetting, but, uh, I also didn't care, as long as you were still alive."

**PRINTS**: "So, I... I was just trying to figure out what exactly happened, because I saw it, I remember it, and I think I was working on believing it. Uh, but if... if you want to know what happened to me when I was... out, uh, I'll tell you. I– I'm not holding anything from you. I just– I was trying to figure it out last night.

**TROUBLE**: I don't see any good in keeping it to yourself. Maybe I could help you.

*Prints explains everything that was said during her conversation with the Reaper.*
**TROUBLE**: Prints, I am not worth this. You know that, right? I am not worth your life. No one is."

**PRINTS**: It's not my life they're after.

**TROUBLE**: No, my dear, that's *exactly* what they're after, and it is so much more than just your life. They want your life and your death as well. There is not one person who is worth that.

**PRINTS**: Well, no offense: that's not for you to decide.

**TROUBLE**: There is a point to which I cannot dictate your life, nor your death, but you are also bargaining with mine. And when I tell you... if you find yourself unable to complete these tasks for whatever they may be: give up. Live, and live well. My time has come, and I am borrowing from powers we cannot imagine at this point, putting *all* of you in danger. And so, if it comes down to it, I want you to know, if it is the decision between just my life or both of ours, you pick me."

**PRINTS**: I understand, and for what very little it's worth, I *am* sorry. I– I didn't mean to cause all of this to happen. I just didn't want to lose you. And I think that was... very selfish of me, and I'm sorry for that. But I– I just...

**TROUBLE**: I don't think it was selfish of you. I thank you for it. I– I do appreciate the time that I have, and oh-my-god, I can talk now! And that is insane!

**PRINTS**: I just have to figure out where the heck you got your vocabulary because I am jealous, but, go ahead.

**TROUBLE**: When you spend a lot of time hearing language and unable to reproduce it, you focus quite heavily on the words, and how much you wish you could speak them, and you hold onto the memories of them for as long as you can, as tightly as you can.

**PRINTS**: You make me feel like I– seriously, I feel sorry for every Kenku out there. I mean, this sounds– I mean, I'm so glad you can talk now.

**TROUBLE**: No: so here's what we're going to do. We have a plan, right?

**PRINTS**: Okay.

**TROUBLE**: Okay: so every time we meet a Kenku, we have a– no, we have a vocabulary we must give them.

**PRINTS**: Yes, okay.

**TROUBLE**: And I think we should do it together, or with as many voices as we can. Oh, it's sad we don't have Sado so he could just go 'fuck off'."

**PRINTS**: Do I need to get paper out?

**TROUBLE**: No, it's fine. I know them.

**PRINTS**: Okay.

**TROUBLE**: But we'll have different people say them so that, like, they have different voices. I am mad we don't have Sado's deep voice to just go 'fuck off', because that would be lovely.

**PRINTS**: That– that is fair.

**TROUBLE**: What we were talking about? Oh, yes: life.

## Half-a-Continent Away

**CASH**: Well, at least you're honest this time.

**JEAN**: I figured, why not? I'm about half-a-continent away. Figured I'd check in, make sure you're all not dead yet.

**CASH**: Well, you sure ran away quick.

**JEAN**: I– I told you, I'm doing my best to solve the issue. Your friend... the situation they're in... it's rough, and I feel bad, but I got a line on a mage that might be able to help. I'm on my way there now, but traveling cross-country was easier twenty years ago. It'll take a little bit of time.

**CASH**: Those were the days.

**JEAN**: You have any run-ins yet?

**CASH**: Uh, yeah, we had some manticore attack, and I smashed one's skull open and I killed the other one, so...

**JEAN**: Nice.

**CASH**: That was a thing.

**JEAN**: That's impressive. Maybe you'll all be able to handle this a little better than I originally thought. I reached out to my old party members; I didn't hear anything back, but they're aware of the situation. My guess is, they'll be checking on their own eggs that they hid. I hope it's alright. I hope everything ends up alright, but...

*Cash thinks "Well, one already has"*
**JEAN**: Well, shit.

**CASH**: [sigh] Ah, shit.

**JEAN**: Yeah, kid: we are in your head right now.

**CASH**: Fair enough. I don't normally have conversations inside my head like this, so, ya know...

**JEAN**: It can be a bit–

**CASH**: Forgive me for being a little unused to it.

**JEAN**: Ah, I can imagine. We've had talks like this way more than you think, out of caution and respect for you, I've made sure that you don't remember them, but apparently, that ain't exactly an option for me no more. You've gotten tough, kid.

**CASH**: Yeah, all– all the, uh, erased memories don't quite add up to a hill of beans.

**JEAN**: Messing with someone's memories isn't always an exact... thing to do. Alright, well, when you guys get to Zadash, there's a man that runs a shop. Shop's call The Vulnerable Vagrant. Stop in there: the man that owns it owe me a favor. Let him know you're my kid; you might get a discount. Don't mention my name in any of the taverns; you'll get the opposite of a discount.

**CASH**: I'm not even gonna ask what you did, but I kinda think I can figure it out.

**JEAN**: Hah. Hang in there, kid. We'll solve this hopefully sometime soon.

*Jean looks longingly around the tavern and the door to the kitchen behind the bar*
**JEAN**: I'll try and check in again...

**CASH**: You– you recognize something

**JEAN**: This place holds a special place in my heart. That table there is where me and my friends first met up, formed our party. That's quite a few years ago now, but... it's quite special. Anyways...

**CASH**: Um, d'you remember what that– you remember what that was like?

**JEAN**: I visit here in my memories to try and get that feeling back, but once you lose a friend the way we did, it's tough to remember the good days. You try to remember the happy times of chatting, playing game, fighting enemies together, and the memories of arguing over whose night it was to cook creep up on ya. Then the memories of, 'Why didn't you have my back here?' and 'You shoulda cast this then'. They're always there.

**CASH**: Yeah. I suppose, uh, things that happen and things that don't happen just have a way of eating at ya.