Brianna Paek

## brainstorming

### personality

honestly, her personality needs a complete overhaul or at least some development. right now i'm legit only roleplaying her based off of a shaky feeling, instead of actually knowing her character inside out and knowing what she would do and how she would react in a situation, so... personality overhaul it is.

**what we're working with**
Often described as feisty by her peers, Bri is one hell of chick to have as your friend. Loyal and fierce, nothing, absolutely nothing will stop her from protecting her friends and family as well as other loved ones from really anything. Her loyalty is often described as a gift because once you have it, you never lose it unless you throw it away yourself. She cares deeply for the people closest to heart and even though she might show it in the traditional way sometimes, she doesn't want any harm to come to them. Ambitious, she is willing to stop at nothing to accomplish her dreams. Cunning and witty, she's just as cutthroat in real life as she is on a track and doesn't give people the benefit of the doubt often. She's definitely a force to be reckoned with when she's angry and is known to have quite an explosive anger, doing or saying things she wouldn't usually do or say and later regrets (usually).

Bri is also a very sarcastic figure who typically says what's on her mind regardless of the situation. She's not one to kiss up to people and lets them see the true her. If they don't want any part of it, not her problem. They're missing out on something great anyway. She especially hates people who outwardly attempt to impress everyone or show off. She doesn't understand the reward factor for that. How does seeking extra attention so you can brag amount to anything more than a few sad laughs and then seeking more later? Regardless, she doesn't make it her priority to get approval from others, and her music is always her own. Whenever she makes something, it's first and foremost for herself. She's a very personal person who takes everything she makes seriously, whether she considers it trash or not and is very possessive of her work. Her raps are her pride and joy and for someone else to claim that as their own would make her blood boil like nothing else.

**what the plan is**
mkay, so there's some stuff i want to keep from her old personality such as:

* her undying loyalty
* her wittiness/cunning
* some parts of her anger
* her ambition
* her secretive nature ig

but besides that, complete overhaul. i'm gonna bullet point, but her "personality" section is going to be a writing sample. i'm thinking the sample itself is like, her coming back from a long day of practice and just being really conflicted about everything. and when she gets to her dorm, she just closes the door and puts her back to it and quietly starts crying. it shows her vulnerability, and gives more to her than just "angry, tough, mother figure".

honestly, instead of her anger being explosive, i think it'd be fitting if it was more of a cold/quiet anger? explosive anger is (1) stereotypical of black women, (2) too generic in regards to bri's personality in her rework. everything about her is loud and expressive so i think it'd be a nice surprise for her anger to be the exact opposite of how she usually is. it also fits the fact that when it comes to her feelings, she's very secretive and doesn't like to share her pain, per se. if she's angry, she wouldn't be loud about it. i think she can still *have* anger issues without being explosive or anything like that, it'd just be more of, when she is angry, she makes more cold and cutting remarks than she would be yelling at people or getting physical and stuff like that.

### history

honestly complete overhaul as well, LMBOOOOO. i'm not even going to worry about the past one.

#### bri's original parents and conception

* her original parents are from the unseelie and summer court
	+ their romance was very controversial as they were both high fae, and their families had multiple contentions/conflicts with each other
	+ as a result, to be able to love each other in peace, they became apart of the wild hunt
* for about four hundred years (they were both born around the "discovery" of the americas), they lived in peace
* one of the parents perished in a deadly conflict between two wild hunt groups, and as a result, the surviving one escaped to the muggle world
	+ by the time they entered the muggle world, it was 2021
* as they struggled to get acquainted to the new environment, they somehow (i think im gonna have the mom be the survivor so that she ends up pregnant with bri to make the abandoning a little easier) fostered an infant
* for a few moments, they attempt to care for the infant, but given a new chance at life within tir na nog, they decide to return, leaving the baby behind in the muggle world
	+ they pack bri into a basket of blankets, leaving a small present box with a bracelet in it that has bri's fae name engraved into it (inside the box as well is a note that says "give to [bri's fae name] when she is of age and tell her to look for tir na nog and [parents' fae name]" in english)
	+ they leave the basket in the woods by the portal they go back to tir na nog in, hoping maybe another fae or a wizard would find the basket and take in their child

#### bri's adopted guardians

segway into paek jundae and paek hando; we'll start with hando since he's a vampire

##### hando

* kim hando was born way back in the second century, when korea was still apart of china
* he was born to a wealthy and influential family and lived a relatively normal life for the time period
* schooled by the best magical tutors money could by, he was an incredible wizard, and his name was revered for miles and miles
	+ when he was twenty-one, his house (including his family and all the servants) were attacked by a coven of vampires, in which almost every person perished except for a handful
		- within that handful, the survivors either became vampires or managed to escape
		- hando unfortunately, was turned into a vampire
* hando isolated himself after the incident, and struggling to cope with his bloodlust was prone to spontaneously attacking anyone he came across for their blood, accidentally killing many strangers
	+ the guilt from these accidents has plagued him since
* as hando got more acquainted with being a vampire and safely feeding without killing his victims, he slowly de-isolated and attempt to reintegrate himself into society
	+ hando however, in his isolation, had lost all track of time, and before he knew it, it was the fifteenth century

##### jundae

* jundae was a born a member of the unseelie court
* his family was well off, but for the most part were on the lower rungs on the ladder when it came to wealth and influence
* as a young fae, jundae had traits more reminiscent of a seelie than an unseelie, and at some point, his family was convinced he was somehow a fae hybrid
	+ (he in fact is not)
* although he wasn't outright malicious, he wasn't uncharacteristically benevolent either
	+ in fact, he was just very curious about the human world, and you can't exactly learn about humans if you torture them to death
	+ well you can
	+ it just wouldn't be very effective
* as jundae grew older, he spent more and more time venturing out of tir na nog and into the human world to explore
	+ unfortunately, because time moves slower in tir na nog, whenever jundae made human friends, by the time he came back to visit, they were either dead or elderly (which makes for some awkward reunions)

#### adventures of hando and jundae

* hando and jundae first met in the fifteenth century in a forest in what is now known as north korea
* jundae had somehow managed to get injured, and hando, allured by the smell of jundae's blood (he was fully convinced he was human, he had never met a fae before at this point), tried to incapacitate him so he could drink his blood
	+ as you could guess, it didn't... really... work... out?
* after jundae had fended hando off from trying to kill him (in his pov), and stopped trying to kill hando in retaliation, the two of them realized neither of them were human
	+ and they laughed and got over everything and now this a story they tell to guests at dinner parties
		- anyway
* jundae, curious, wanted to get to know hando, especially when he heard hando's been alive for like... centuries (jundae hadn't met a vampire either up until this point)
	+ they got to know each other! it was cute
* anyways jundae went back to tir na nog and hando went back about his business and they didn't meet each other again for another like four centuries
* welcome to the 1960s! we have telephones now, and jundae is in america for some reason
	+ hando somehow also ???? got to america, dont ask me how, idk
* they meet each other in california and like the quirky couple they are, they have like frozen yogurt together or something
	+ they're so out of touch with humans that they didn't even realize that being gay is like highly controversial, so they're all ???? when people are giving them weird looks as they feed each other froyo and flirt openly
	+ like yo this is a public frozen yogurt shop, take that gay stuff somewhere else LMBOOOO
* ok at this point, they're just kind of like "screw it" and start dating (the funny thing is, neither of them knew what dating was, they just overhead a human couple on a date and were like "let's do that" and so they did)
	+ keep in mind, hando is from a period where courting and political marriages were the norm
	+ and jundae has just never been interested in romance up until this point, so he never paid attention to fae courting customs
* anyways these two are cute or whatever
	+ tbh i think the hilarious thing abt these two are like, they've been alive for like *centuries* and have seen so many periods of history but still look like they're in their early twenties bc hando stopped aging since becoming a vampire and jundae just ??? cant be bothered to put on a glamour to look like an old man like
		- what does a centuries-old elderly man even look like ???? a rotting skeleton???
			* anyways
* so jundae goes back to tir na nog for a little bit, but honestly, jundae still has no time awareness whatsoever, so by the time he comes back, it's literally like 2022
	+ hando doesn't really know what to do because his boyfriend just left to go to magical faery dimension and it's not he knows how to get there so he kind of just wilds out for awhile tbh
		- he also has no idea if they're still dating ??? so he kind of just goes "screw it" and starts messing around with humans while he waits for jundae to come back from tir na nog
		- my guy couldn't give hando like an estimated year back or anything, damn

#### bae is a child who was born

* so hando goes to korea because honestly it's been a hot second since he's been to korea and he wants to see how it's changed
	+ so no one told hando that korea had a whole damn war and is split in half
	+ and okay maybe if he had been paying attention to literally any newspaper ever he would've realized it but honestly hando has lived for so long that wars just fly over his head
* so my guy is out here trying to get to north korea and he's booking a flight and he's like... why is it off limits???
	+ anyways he goes to south korea instead
	+ fun fact, his original home and hometown are located in north korea
* while in south korea, he somehow gets involved with a mafia there???? like, my guy out here attracting all this trouble
* he meets a nice, kind-of-scary, korean lady who lowkey saves his life and then chastises him for standing in the middle of a gang war like an idiot
	+ hando is enamored
		- anyways
* so they hit it off and hando lowkey joins the mafia to be closer to this random korean woman he met and they eventually start dating (but its like secret dating because relationships in this mafia are forbidden for the *dRaMa*)
* everything is cool but like jundae finally comes back from tir na nog and hando misses his boyfriend and this korean woman is cool but jundae is cooler
	+ yeah so hando is kind of a jerk and just like... leaves
		- LMBOOO no warning or anything either, he just dips
		- little did he know, he got her pregnant asdghjSDSKGS
			* men
			* bruh if he didnt end up coming back for bae, im screaming, would they make him pay child support???
				+ anyways
* so bae is born and he live in the mafia and stuff
	+ honestly the rest of this stuff is not relevant for bri's history until bri is taken in by the mafia so it doesn't matter
		- ask soc if u want the details LMBOOO

#### back to bri

* so when we last left off, bri's parent left her in a basket in the woods????
	+ yeah idk is this just like a fae thing, do they lack self awareness, why the woods
* these woods are like right outside seoul so like one of the mafia members while out here on a camping trip (what, maybe they like nature), finds the basket and is like ???? what the hell
	+ obviously, they take the baby back with them
		- they might be in the mafia, but they're not a monster
* this mafia member cannot read english so they're looking at this note like ????? "ill ask tim when i get back to hq"
	+ the mafia member lost the note on the way back LMBOOOO, they kept the bracelet tho
		- the mafia member also cannot read fae so they don't know what the bracelet is for or what the word that's ingraved in it means, but they assume it's important just like... let bri have it
* so bri grows up in the mafia like the quirky child she is
	+ she has her first magical sign really early, like at four
		- ive decided the parent that survived was the unseelie one, so bri somehow conjures a tornado in base
		- rip hq
* so fiascos like this keep happening and bri keeps wrecking stuff and they recognize that she is a literal child and has no control over this but they're fed up
	+ so they send her to their sister base in busan and basically say "here, you deal with her"
		- oh i forgot to mention, this is a wizard mafia, they're just not used to bri's type of magic and they don't recognize that it's fae magic
* so bri is four and bae is six when they meet and like bri instantly latches onto bae because he's the only other kid she's seen in this entire place and homegirl needs a friend
	+ can i just say bri as a wittle babie is so different from bri now
		- like she's so talkative and energetic and bouncy and sis is constantly running around and shouting and going "look at that! now look at that! look at me! look at what i can do" and then spawning tornadoes
			* she's black!zoe on steroids and without the wormholes
		- she's so like affectionate too
			* sis will hug you and tell you all the great things about yourself
			* kisses for everyone, kiss on the forehead for you and you and you and you
			* would you like a cup of tea, sir bearington? now where are you hiding money
				+ LMBOOO anyways
* as bri is growing up, obviously they're trying to indoctrinate her into the mafia because they recognize sis is really strong??? like abnormally strong and they want to use that
	+ so they start trying to teach her how to use her magic (keep in mind, they have no idea she's half-fae)
	+ once they've deemed her like "safe enough" to put out on the field (in regards to her powers), they start like sending her on small missions and like
		- look sis might be a babie, but she will mess you up, dont give her the chance
* basically bri is a really fast learner and it's not good for like any of the mafia's enemies
	+ this eight-year-old will knock you out and then laugh about it afterwards, whew
	+ sis said suffocate? you will suffocate
	+ better be ready to rest in peace
		- or in pieces

#### dadd(ies)' back

* so it's been a couple years and hando and jundae (after finally figuring out how to get married in the twenty-first century human world), decided to tie the knot and "settle down" in the uk
* they buy a quirky abandoned manor in the woods in lincliff and decide to live in it like the quirky couple they are
* word gets back to hando somehow that the woman he dated back in korea in the mafia *died* but she had a son
	+ and hando's mind is just blown because he has a kid??????
* jundae has been kind of thinking of like a foster home situation honestly because the manor is really big and it feels empty and soulless in most of the rooms
	+ so hando tells him about bae and jundae is automatically like "bring me this child, he is ours now"
* hando goes to korea to go get bae and bae is apprehensive at first bc random stranger claiming to be my father???? um ok hun
	+ bae ends up agreeing only if he can bring bri
		- of course bri agrees
			* bri honestly doesn't care, tall pretty man want to take them to his giant mansion? sign her up
* whew so now they live in this spicy mansion in lincliff

#### the rest of the history stuff i guess?

* so basically jundae and hando start taking people in and letting them live in their giant spicy spooky mansion in the woods
	+ it's cool ig
* they amass like a bunch of kids, some adults, i think one or two elderly people too
	+ so like at any given time, you can see people of all ages just roaming around the mansion looking for something to do
* oh yeah jundae and hando become like ??? activists i guess
	+ they start hosting balls to advocate for peculiar rights
* bri is thriving honestly
	+ at first she was struggling because the empty house was just so different from the mafia that it was hard to adjust
	+ but the moment people started moving in and jundae and hando started adopting kids bri was THRIVING
	+ the busy environment reminds her of the mafia and she was already really extroverted as it is
		- she especially liked hanging out with the older residents of the mansion, especially especially especially the elderly, because they always had cool stories to tell that she could relay back to the other kids that made her seem like really cool LMBOOO
* honestly as bri got older, she started taking on more of a big sister/mother role in the house
	+ it just came naturally and everyone kind of just went with it
		- and she liked caring for people so it was nice
* oh by the way, sis went to hogwarts
	+ yeah, she got her letter at eleven and was like "i get to go to the place bae goes now, gottem"
* this is where she meets her second annoying best friend cap (the other annoying best friend is felix, i just never mentioned him bc i didnt want to put in the effort of explaining how they meet; tldr, felix shows up on their doorstep and jundae takes him in)
	+ sis also starts developing her interest in music in hogwarts
* tbh i debated on whether or not i should stick with bri's original house (ravenclaw) or have her sorted into gryffindor in this rework but honestly
	+ im gonna stick with ravenclaw, gryffindor just feels so... stereotypical
	+ we must shake it up
* ive decided in this rework, bri gets interested in singing first before she really starts thinking about rapping
	+ she begs hando to let her get a voice teacher
		- whatever bri wants she gets, hando is WEAK for this child
			* she gets a voice teacher
* lets pretending im not stealing this from changbin's life LMBOOO
	+ her voice teacher one session is like "you should try rapping, i think you'd like it"
		- and i mean, what is stopping her tbh
			* she tries out rapping
* wow she loves rapping, rapping is fun??? and it just comes really easily to her, honestly 0 effort
	+ homegirl decides to be all-rounded and delves into dancing too so now she can sing, dance, and rap
		- ain't nobody doing it like her, what a legend
* it's in third year that bri gets interested in music as a career and cap is always walking around talking about silencio (and how ~~hot~~ cool caspian choi is, but mostly silencio, promise)
	+ they both audition and get in and the rest is pretty much history
* they debut in klique, bri graduates, life is ok
	+ well life is great
* bri just has depression and anger issues and deeply self-loathes herself now LMBOOO
	+ anyways

## page

Brianna Paek

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this morning i woke up in a fortress of *distortion*
i'm at war with my emotions, i'm at war with they enforcement

basics
**|| full name(s)**
[english name] brianna gwendolyn paek

[korean name] paek junhui

**|| nickname(s)**
*bri >* shortened version of bri

*breezy >* a more "fun" version of bri; used often by **felix liang**

*gwen >* a shortened version of her middle name, gwendolyn; used primarily by **athena han**

*joon >* a differently romanized version of "jun", taken from her korean name, junhui; used primarily by her father, **paek hando**

*charmander >* her annoying best friend cap's nickname for her; they made them when she was a second year in hogwarts, and she called him "squirtle" to taunt him—it didn't work

**|| etymology**
*brianna >* strong, virtuous and honorable

*gwendolyn >* white ring

*jun-hui >* bright and talented

*baek >* white

**|| alias(es)**
*park seyoon >* when she lived with the mafia, she was named park seyoon; she still occasionally uses the name from time to time if she feels the need to hide her identity

**|| alias reasonings**
*park seyoon >* she's never felt the need to separate herself from the name, so she still uses it every once and awhile

**|| age**
21

**|| birthday**
december 4th, 2024

**|| zodiac sign**
sagittarius

**|| nationality**
british

**|| ethnicity**
black british

**|| status**
alive

**|| gender**
cis-female

this morning i woke up in a fortress of *distortion*
i'm at war with my emotions, i'm at war with they enforcement

social sample
"okay! that's it for today. you five can get back, get some rest." *brianna leaned forward, holding her hips with her hands as she took a moment to catch her breath. she could feel whole locks of hair brushing against her back, having escaped her loose, half-done bun. her forehead was matted with sweat, yet despite that, she looked practically flawless. especially compared to some of the more winded members of her group. the first day of choreo is always the roughest, because you can tell about three fifths of brianna's group doesn't actually practice on vacation. so it's always sore muscles, lots of groaning, and constant demands for breaks. brianna doesn't really mind it all that much, since she gets lots of dancing in, even on breaks, and she was dying of boredom anyway without the new material.*

*though, her morale was the lowest it had been in months.*

*the moment the end of practice was called, and bri had done some deep breaths, she made a beeline for her duffel bag and started packing it up, so she could get to her dorm as soon as possible. klique tended to have hangouts after practice, but brianna really wasn't in the mood, and the last thing she felt like doing, was pretending that she actually wanted to be there for a good hour and a half. of course, there was always the stubborn rock in her path, one of her oldest friends and quite possibly one of the most annoying people bri has ever had the "pleasure" to be friends with: park woobin. also known as cap, short for capricorn, because he has a thing for stupid nicknames. or bri supposes, stupid english names in this case. although everyone else has given up on inviting bri (they won't admit it, but she knows they have), cap, stubborn as he is, has never let up. it's practically second nature to say no to cap at this point. speaking of which, here he comes now.*

"so.... bri," *cap starts off, cheery as always. he leans into her bubble, and while bri doesn't show her discomfort, she certainly doesn't look up at him either.* "chan already decided on the yoosnacks on that street two blocks from here. so we're gonna walk. you'll be there, right?" *brianna inwardly wonders if cap is naturally this oblivious, or if he just chooses to ignore the clear disinterest radiating off of her at the moment.* "we can catch up! since silencio's already been scheduling us like crazy, haha. haven't even gotten the opportunity to talk about our break." *brianna briefly considered if it was rude to tell cap that she genuinely did not give a single shit about how cap's break went. and once she settled on it, she zipped up her duffel bag, threw it over her shoulder and stood up, poker face masking her otherwise annoyed features.*

*okay, that was harsh. it's not like bri hates cap or anything. she just finds him overbearing at times. a lot of the time, actually. she supposes that she gets it, why he's like that. but she wonders if he can ever find it within himself to just... chill out. it's almost as if he's permanently high strung. or just energetic. it's probably just the energetic part. plus he has adhd, so it's not all his fault. still, sometimes bri just wants to tie him to a chair and leave him a closet or something. just to have some peace of mind.* "sorry, cap. i have writing to do," *she said, half-heartedly, already making her way to the door. in reality, the excuse meant nothing, since obviously, their whole album had already been produced. if it hadn't been, there would be nothing to make choreography too.*

"writing?" *cap replied, following bri. because cap never quits. ever. sigh.*

"yeah. i'm... i'm working on something right now." *brianna internally cringes at the way her voice fails her at first, making the hesitation in her lie all too clear. it's technically not a lie, since she really has been songwriting lately. but not much. just writing down throwaway lines that come to her occasionally. but she likes to think it counts. it makes her feel less like she's wasting her time. but perhaps she is; not like silencio is ever going to let her release her extra songs anyway. so why bother?* "i want to get back and... finish it, before the inspiration leaves me." *now that's really a lie. bri has no inspiration. she hasn't had any inspiration for a long while now. she mostly feels a lot of emptiness and fatigue, and the overwhelming urge to cry. but not any inspiration.*

"oh." *it amazes bri every time, how cap always manages to stop in his tracks. as if he's really that surprised. he should be used to it by now, yet the disappointment is always so strong, every single time. per cap nature, he covers it up seconds later, trying his best to brush off the reaction like brianna expected.* "oh, well, i'll see you later then. i'll come by for dinner! we can eat together then." *ugh,* no. *bri's not sure if she'd be put together enough to see* anyone *at dinner. her plan for then had just been attempting to eat her leftovers while she cried into them and watched children's cartoons. pretty much what she did all break. she used to do it into ice cream, but the added salt always changed the taste. that, and it was going to her hips, and she wasn't doing nearly enough exercise to combat that.*

"yeah, sure," *bri sighs, pushing open the door to the hallway. without even looking behind her, she left.*

*on the walk back to the dormitories, brianna gave up on the half-bun she was sporting and just let her hair down, spontaneously thinking about getting her hair buzzed. she knew it was just the newly developed impulsive voice in her head, a result of her worsening mental health, but she was tempted to listen to it just to have something she felt she could control. ultimately, she ignored the thought and kept her head low, not wanting to accidentally make eye contact with someone and have to force a smile. at the moment, she feels like forcing a smile would kill her. when she got in the elevator, her mask slipped. her sight blurred as tears clouded it, but she held them back best she could, sniffling a bit as she gripped the strap of her duffel bag. luckily, when the elevator opened, there was no one in the hallway, so she didn't have to try and hide the tears threatening to trail down her cheeks as she walked to her dorm.*

*brianna put in the password for her door on autopilot, feeling all the day's emotions that she had been bottling up bubbling within her. her exhaustion and her anxiety and fears. her envy, her loneliness, her frustration. it was only two in the afternoon, and yet, brianna felt as if she didn't want to leave her dormitory for the rest of the day. hell, she probably didn't even have the strength to. as she closed the door, she put her back to it, and with a shaky breath, she set her duffel bag on the floor. a sob chokes out of her as her as she slides down against the door, and suddenly, she's sobbing, pulling her knees to her chest and violently crying into them. she feels hopeless and worthless, and* angry. *where's her happiness? her confidence? her success? where's her romance? where's the excitement in her life? she feels like it was just yesterday when she was a brash, nervous teenager, auditioning for silencio and believing with her heart that she'd get in because she had no other way to cope. and now, years later, despite her career as silencio's shining stars, why did she feel like the dullest one?*

*of course, it wasn't just her with problems. she knew life was much worse for just about anyone else. she was on top the world, people would kill to be in her position. but why didn't she feel like it? why could she not help but think it would've been better to abandon her dream? why was she more worried about the hundreds of thousands of people who were her supposed fans than she was of the ones who weren't? and yet, despite it all, here she was, sitting against her dorm, and choking on her own tears. she felt chiefly pathetic, but there wasn't much she could do to stop it. the dam had been broken, and she didn't have the strength to build it back up. she had a whole group of people who are pretty much her built in support and companions, but merlin, she feels so alone. she feels as if she could disappear at that very moment, and it'd blow off in a matter of days. sure, life doesn't stop for anyone, but people do. and no one would stop for her.*

*why...* why *was she so **miserable?***

social behaviors
**|| most common emotion**
*apathy >* recently, as bri's mental health has worsened, she's been hit with often onslaughts of apathy, often becoming reckless and impulsive as a result. she tends to do things she normally wouldn't do, because she doesn't feel anything about the particular actions she's taking. there's no anxiety in her head telling her to stop, just dead silence. her apathy tends to be accommodated by what she personally refers to as a "static buzz", her thoughts filling up her head to the point where they become indistinguishable, and thus their presence becomes permanent in her head. obviously, it makes many day-to-day tasks extremely difficult to complete.

*anger >* when bri isn't in a state of apathy, she's typically angry. bri's always spent the majority of her life as a relatively angry person, since she has a short temper and can be very defensive when she gets stubborn about something. as a result, she has a tendency to suddenly blow up, and sometimes can go from being perfectly fine to furious in the right circumstances. earlier in her career, she began seeing a therapist to help her manage her anger, but busy schedules made attending regular appointments almost impossible, and bri eventually gave up. as mentioned, she's pretty irritable, and as her mental health has worsened, so has her irritability.

*self-loathing >* bri has always been hard on people, as she expects the best out of everyone. this especially goes for herself, and there's no one bri is as hard on as she is herself. obviously, she's *too* hard on herself, but to her, it doesn't look like that. bri's self-loathing presents itself as innocent self-criticism, when if any outsider were to hear bri's inner dialogue, they would say bri was berating herself at the least, and verbally harassing and bullying herself at the worst. although bri herself doesn't truly classify the feelings of constant inadequacy and failure as self-loathing, she is aware of it on some level. in fact, she tends to project the things she thinks of herself onto other people, which causes herself to isolate from other people.

**|| least common emotion**
*appreciation >* regardless of whether or not bri is actually in a position of recognition, bri tends to feel as if there's a vacuum between her and truly being *seen* by people. rarely does bri feel genuinely appreciated for what she does, but she doesn't make these feelings vocal. instead, they manifest themselves as a sort of inner self-loathing, eroding at her self-confidence and slowly making her believe the reason she isn't recognized by people is because she doesn't deserve recognition. it is rare that bri ever feels genuinely appreciated for something, so rare, that the act itself somewhat stuns her.

*excitement >* at this point in her life, bri is very much just going through the motions. nothing is truly exciting to her anymore, and with the five million other problems popping up in her life, she's stopped getting excited for things. honestly, the only anticipating she ever does is for tragic events and busy schedules. not much can catch her attention enough for her to be actively excited about it. in a way, it's quite bittersweet, but bri has gotten past how gray her life seems at the moment and is just living with it.

**|| tendency to show affection**
surprisingly, bri is actually extremely affectionate. or well, a better way to phrase it, is that she's typically very affectionate. over time, she's reeled it in quite a lot, and now it's rare to even see her exchange a hug with a close friend. no one really knows what happened, but now bri tends to keep to herself. that doesn't stop her from wanting affection however, and from time to time, she'll surprise people by being uncharacteristically touchy or huggy or casually complimenting people a lot. perhaps, there will be a time where bri feels comfortable being so affectionate again, but until then, all people can do is wonder what happened.

**|| notable quirks**
*ponytail >* bri's go-to hairstyle is a ponytail. it's the easiest, most efficient thing to do, and it takes the least effort (most of the time). it's rare to see bri walking around with her hair down, and if she is, she's typically complaining about it. it's become somewhat of a meme among kourtz at this point.

*height >* although bri is shorter than all the males in klique (save for chan), she's taller than her fellow female member mijung by three inches, which has a spawned a lot of "teeny mimi" jokes throughout the years. although bri personally doesn't have a problem with being on the taller side, it's become one of her most recognizable traits, as her height quite literally puts her above other women.

**|| mannerisms**
*biting lips >* although somewhat of a bad habit, bri tends to bite her lips a lot. to combat the problem, she carries around lip balm so she can apply it whenever she needs to, but she still ends up biting her lips anyway, honestly.

*crossing her arms >* an infamous meme about klique's fandom, is that when bri crosses her arms, that's when you know she's about to go off about something. funnily enough, bri crossing her arms has little to no connection to her anger, and it's a tendency she has, even when she isn't angry, to do. many of her poses for content involve her crossing her arms, so much that it's become "apart" of bri's brand. when a teaser for klique's comeback was released and bri *wasn't* crossing her arms in it, she received tons of snitches on snitcher, that all pretty much sounded like: "are you okay? you weren't crossing your arms queen :( we're here for you!" while it remains an inside joke for klique and their fandom to this day, sometimes bri genuinely gets self-conscious about how much she actually does this.

reactions
**|| when angry**
contrary to belief, when bri gets angry, she's not a loud, physical kind of person. in fact, it seems as if she becomes a completely different person entirely. whenever angered, bri has a tendency to act very cold and snarky, often being passive-aggressive and insulting people, regardless of whether or not they're the reason she's mad. she will, however, isolate herself even more, because even when angry, she has a degree of self-awareness and knows she's going to ruin someone's day if she sticks around too long. while she does get angry often, and has a short temper, her bouts of anger are relatively short, and she's quick to get over something. give her a few hours, and she'll probably be back to her normal self unless whatever she's angry over is something serious.

**|| when embarrassed**
it's difficult to describe what bri is like when she's embarrassed, because it's hard to pinpoint in general. rarely does she feel embarrassment, most of the time it's either anger or disappointment. to give a general feel or recognizable mannerism, when she's embarrassed, she typically frowns and begins averting people's eyes, cutting her responses short and even looking disinterested. she'll also cross her arms, not "just because", but so she can feel her heart beating without any suspicion, since she tends to get anxious when embarrassed as well.

**|| when excited**
honestly, bri hasn't been truly excited in such a long time that most people have forgotten what it actually looks like. bri tends to fake her excitement by getting loud and animated, but her actual excitement doesn't look like that at all. in fact, when she's excited, she'll, ironically, barely make it clear. if anything, you can catch a small smile on her face, and she might be spacing out. somewhere along those lines. her reaction used to be akin to a sudden burst of talkativeness and energy, but she's mellowed out since then, and prefers to keep her excitement to herself, lest she feel like she's annoying someone.

**|| when frightened**
bri gets very quiet when she's frightened or scared. if it's more of a "shock" type of frightened, you could get a scream or two out of her, but it's not very common. most of the time, she'll stiffen or close her eyes, or suddenly get extremely quiet.

**|| when happy**
there are two types of reactions bri tends to give when she's happy. when she's generally content or just in a good mood, she tends to smile more and might even more affectionate than usual, giving people compliments and hugging them every once awhile, even if nothing has warranted it. although subtle, if you know bri well enough, it's almost extremely easy to tell when she's apathetic and when she's happy, even if they appear to have the same "front". her second type of reaction is when something *makes* her happy, or otherwise actively cheerful. she gets much more talkative, and seemingly, out of nowhere, is a thousand times more affectionate, almost as if she's back to her old self. the unfortunance of this being her reaction, is it displays how little she truly feels like this anymore, hence why her response to happiness is basically a shadow of her old self.

**|| when sad**
while bri has always been a friendly person, she's also always been extremely reserved about her negative emotions. when she's sad, she makes it look like she's not the best she can. if people notice she's not okay and ask, it makes her feel like a nuisance and she hates the idea of burdening other people with her issues, even if they're close friends and family. she especially has a problem asking for help, so there are periods where she'll be wallowing in her own misery for weeks without any noticing.

**|| when stressed**
bri, per her nature, will rarely reveal if she's stress. she'll mostly give subconscious facial cues such as furrowing her eyebrows, spacing out a lot or looking impatient, but she'll never make it a point to make obvious. again, she believes her problems remain her problems, and that she shouldn't waste anyone's time with them.

**|| when thoughtful**
bri tends to bite her lip or tap her fingers against her arm when she's thinking. they're very subtle things because she's often multi-tasking when she's spacing out. rarely is she more obvious than that. since she despises wasting time, she'll often be considering one thing while doing another thing so she can move on as quickly as possible.

**|| when jealous**
bri's jealousy is quite similar to how she is when she's angry. but instead of being snippy and passive-aggressive, she typically just avoids people altogether and gets kind of sulky. jealousy is also an emotion she likes to keep vague and undistinguishable. to know when she's jealous, you'd either have to know her extremely well or be paying very close attention.

traits
**|| optimist or pessimist**
*neither >* bri is a realist, though she can be pessimistic at times. when she was younger, she used to be very optimistic, but as time has gone on and bri has gotten less hopeful, she simply takes things as they are and doesn't try to twist them in a negative or positive way, regardless of what the outcome looks like it's going to be. if it's going to be bad, so be it. if it's going to be good, so be it. she's lost the ability to care much about how it's framed.

**|| introvert or extrovert**
*extrovert >* bri is heavy extrovert. while she does have a social battery of her own, having a good conversation can recharge that battery quicker than you can say "yippee-ki-yay". in recent years, she's adopted more introverted tendencies and has begun to keep to herself as her mental health worsens, but at heart, bri is very much still an extrovert. despite being a heavy extrovert, bri rarely realizes how much she needs people around her, and as a result, her recent isolation has been hurting her more than helping her like she thinks it is.

**|| cautious or careless**
*cautious >* although it doesn't seem like it, bri is a very cautious and careful person. she thinks through a lot more than people give her credit for, and often surprises people with how far she thinks ahead, to the point where she can almost perfectly predict what someone is about to do next. part of this is from time in the mafia, while the majority of this is just her own personal development over time. while bri at first seems to be a careless person, she really isn't.

**|| logical or emotional**
*neither >* bri crosses between the two often depending on the situation. she doesn't lean heavily to either one, rather it just depends on whatever is happening. when you need her to be, she's a very logical and quick-witted person, but by herself, she's typically more emotionally as a result of being overwhelmed by her own repressed emotions.

**|| warmonger or pacifist**
*warmonger >* unsurprisingly, bri is the type to duke it out. as someone who is easily irritable, and has a tendency to explode, bri *also* has a tendency to pick a lot of fights. to her credit, she does know what battles she can win and what battles she can not, but if she knows she can pick a fight and win it, you bet she'll definitely take that fight. she's never been a pacifist to begin with, especially since she spent her childhood in a very high-conflict environment. she just picked up that fighting is the best way to do things, even when most of the time, it's not.

**|| loner or social butterfly**
*social butterfly >* bri loves people, even if they don't love her. regardless of what she's going through right now, that will probably always be true. at the moment, she's in a stint of being an active loner due to her depression, but she typically feels pulled to try and interact with people, even if she doesn't have the mental for it.

**|| early bird or night owl**
*both >* bri never sleeps. well, she does, she just has a highly irregular sleep schedule. part of it is her terrible mental health, and part of it is just innately bri. she's always *technically* been a night owl, but she also has a tendency to wake up pretty early, sometimes averaging five hours or less a night. no one really knows how she functions like this, but she's pulled it off for so long that people have stopped questioning it. she does occasionally get chastised by concerned friends and family members though. then she either ignores them or fights them, just depends on how she's feeling that day.

**|| procrastinator or productive**
*productive >* bri's always been a highly productive person. she's also a fast learner, so being productive works in her favor as it gives her more time to do other things once she gets all her work over with. while at some points, she can be a bit of a procrastinator, she prefers to get her work done early just to have it over with, opposed to waiting for the last possible second to finish it.

**|| rigid and organized or fluid and adaptable**
*fluid and adaptable >* bri has been in so many different situations over the years that have changed relatively quickly, so she's been forced to become fluid and adaptable. there's just no other way to survive. bri's never been a stickler for rules anyway, so she has no qualms bending things when she wants to do something. plus, whether you like it or not, bri is a fierce debater, and can practically talk herself out of anything.

**|| big picture or detail orientated**
*big picture >* bri rarely hyper-focuses on small details. in the grand scheme of things, she really can't be bothered to care. as long as the general idea is understandable and gets accomplished, who cares about the details. unless whatever method was used was unethical or something similar, bri couldn't care less about how anything gets done. details couldn't be farther from her mind.

**|| confident or Unsure**
*unsure >* a long time ago, bri used to be confident. so confident that you could even accuse her of being arrogant, but that time has since passed. now, bri has become very unsure of herself, and harshly berates herself for anything she sees as some sort of failure on her part. she is uncapable of giving herself the benefit of the doubt, and if someone lied about her, she'd find a way to tell herself "they're probably right".

character on the inside
**|| MBTI**
ESFP

**|| persona**
the persona bri puts out for people to see is not even remotely close to her true self. the persona she portrays almost religiously, couldn't be further from the truth. in fact, the core of her being is everything she suppresses into oblivion. to the outside world, bri is a tough, unflinching figure, who fears little and strikes fear into the hearts of others once you get on her bad side. she doesn't smile unless she needs to, she'll cuss you out on the street if the situation calls for it, and she never hesitates to speak her mind. while there's some truth to most of these statements, bri is truly nothing like this, and her persona comes at the expense of her empathy, sensitivity, affection, and love for other people.

**|| core**
at the core of bri's character is love, whether it be her love for music, humanity, or other people. her desire to love and be love rings true throughout her life no matter what happens to her, and whether or not she wishes to acknowledge it, love will always be the factor that will change even her most foundational truths.

**|| shadow**
although bri typically appears to most people as unaffected or apathetic, she's secretly quite sensitive. over the years, she's learned to suppress this and almost ignores it completely, but bri's high emotional sensitivity is part of the reason for her unusually high empathy and her motherly traits. as a result, words tend to stick to her heavily, and she can remembered negative or positive remarks a like for years to follow. she can also very vividly remember specific feelings, almost as if she was reliving them, and when too caught up in her emotions, she tends to have a panic attack.

miscellaneous
**|| passions**
bri's one and only passion is music and dance, and that's just about it. although she's dabbled in many different things over the years, music is the only thing that's ever stuck. however, in recent times she's been facing a lot of frustration surrounding it, as her label, silencio, is refusing to let her put out any solo projects, and she finds herself limited in the small area of what she can do in klique's brand.

**|| wants**
although is not realized want, bri desperately wants attention. she typically feels silenced and in the worst cases, irrelevant. everything she does seems to be overshadowed by someone more "important" or interesting or more attractive than her in her eyes. and obviously, she's beginning to get sick of it. bri has even considered switching to a different company or dropping out of the music industry entirely, but since she cares so much about her groupmates, she eventually decided agaisnt it, as miserable as she is in the limelight.

**|| needs**
it's rare that you ever encounter someone who needs one thing, but bri is one of those people who really only *needs* one thing. love. whether it be love from herself or from other people. bri has the facilities to successfully pull off world domination and the will to do it too, but it seems the only thing holding her back from her full potential is the stout lack of love in her life. and we're not talking just romantic love, though there's a depressing lack of there too, bri feels increasingly alone and unloved, and it's already known how hard she's struggling to love herself as it is.

**|| phobia(s) and fear(s)**
bri's greatest fear is to die alone, dramatic as it is. an extrovert who needs people around her to be at her best, the idea of never having a life partner terrifies her. as she's always been, as the kids would say, "the ugly friend", she often finds herself on the sidelines of her friends' and family's relationships, wishing she could even somewhat relate. her loneliness feels ever present, and she's most miserable when she's by herself, hence her stark fear of it.

this morning i woke up in a fortress of *distortion*
i'm at war with my emotions, i'm at war with they enforcement

general likes
* her favorite movie genres are:
	+ action
	+ romance
	+ comedy
		- preferably all three above together, honestly
	+ fantasy
* her favorite genres to dance are:
	+ ballet
	+ hip hop
	+ contemporary
* she loves romance novels (she's a giant romantic and refuses to admit it)
* giant fan of pastel colors and bright color combinations
* has a lot of pink stuff
* street fashion
	+ she dabbles a little bit in fashion as well, mostly in street fashion but she can pull off a banging red carpet and couture look
* mobas, fps, and rpgs
	+ pretty much the only types of games she plays
	+ she also likes platformers, but can't complete them to save her life
* puzzle geek
	+ has tons of puzzle games on her phone
	+ especially solitaire and sudoku
	+ also those weird like color sort games that are lowkey addicting

general dislikes
* men
	+ i'm *kidding*
	+ men do be annoying though
* heavily dislikes having her creative liberty controlled
	+ very passionate about the things she makes and will not let people take advantage of her creativity
* ironically, while she loves people, she heavily dislikes being in large gatherings of them
	+ you will not see her at a party, never in her life
* despises neon
	+ she doesn't exactly know why, but it basically boils down to "neon is ugly"

favorites
**|| favorite color(s)**
yellow, pink, blue

**|| favorite music genre(s)**
hip hop, r&b, jazz, edm

**|| favorite food(s)**
**|| favorite animal(s)**
**|| favorite book(s)**
**|| favorite drink(s)**
**|| favorite song(s)**
**|| favorite movie(s)**
**|| favorite sweet(s)**
**|| favorite location(s)**

this morning i woke up in a fortress of *distortion*
i'm at war with my emotions, i'm at war with they enforcement

schooling
**|| schooling**
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

**|| graduated?**
Yes

**|| year**
N/A

**|| house**
Ravenclaw

**|| owls**
**|| newts**
**|| favorite class(es)**
**|| least favorite class(es)**
magix
**|| species**
**|| peculiar?**
**|| type of peculiar**
**|| family blood**
**|| ability to produce patronus**
**|| patronus animal**
**|| wand wood**
**|| wand core**
**|| wand length**
appearance
**|| faceclaim**
**|| voiceclaim**
**|| eye color**
**|| hair color**
**|| skin tone**
**|| height**
**|| build**
**|| piercing(s)**
**|| tattoo(s)**
**|| general style**
**|| distinguishing marks**
**|| dominant hand**
**|| handwriting**
**|| physical disorders**
miscellaneous
**|| allergies**
**|| neurodivergent?**
**|| mental disorder(s)/illness(es)**
**|| mental state/health**
**|| skills**
**|| most skilled at**
**|| least skilled at**
**|| talents**
**|| hobbies**
**|| understood languages**
**|| spoken languages**
**|| quote(s)**

this morning i woke up in a fortress of *distortion*
i'm at war with my emotions, i'm at war with they enforcement

family
**|| parental guardian(s)**
**|| sibling(s)**
**|| spouse(s)**
**|| children**
**|| extended relatives**
**|| other**
relationship
**|| romantic orientation**
**|| sexual orientation**
**|| current partner(s)**
**|| past partner(s)**
**|| romantic interests**
**|| first love**
**|| first kiss**
**|| first time**
**|| love language**
friends
**|| best friend(s)**
**|| current friend(s)**
**|| past friend(s)**
**|| acquaintance(s)**

this morning i woke up in a fortress of *distortion*
i'm at war with my emotions, i'm at war with they enforcement

history
smaller details
**|| hometown**
**|| birthplace**
**|| current residence**
**|| past residence(s)**
**|| goal(s)**
**|| occupation(s)**
Member of KLIQUE (main rapper, main dancer)