1-800-Phone-Magician

Abra Kadabraaaaa!

## Transcript

Whitney: Good morning, sweetie.
Stephen: Good morning, birthday girl!
Whitney: Oh! You're so sweet!
Stephen: Yay, you were born, and I remembered it.
Whitney: Oh, thank you, Stephen!
Stephen: Also, I have quite the surprise for you.
Whitney: Did you get me the new iPhone?
Stephen: Oh, no, this is mine.
Whitney: Oh, okay.
Stephen: But! I am placing a very important phone call. I hope you like magic...
Whitney: I love magic!
Stephen: Then you're going to love this phone magician. The best money can buy.
Whitney: Sounds expensive.
Stephen: It is...

Kenny Baldwin: What a world of mystery awaits you at 1-800-ABRAKADABRA!
Stephen: Sounds legit.
Kenny Baldwin: I am the great Kenny.
Stephen: Hey, the great Kenny, you are here with the birthday...
Kenny Baldwin: Girl?
Stephen: That's right, you're a girl! How did you know that?
Kenny Baldwin: Well, birthday girl...
Whitney: Whitney.
Kenny Baldwin: Whitney. For my first trick, I'm going to amaze the very floor you stand on. I have with me a deck of cards. I am fanning them out now, face up. I would like you to visualize these cards in your brain and select one of them. Do you have a card selected?
Whitney: Um, it's just really hard to choose, because these are such beautiful cards. Um, yes, yes, okay, I have one.
Kenny Baldwin: Excellent. At the moment, I am standing on the second floor of a building. I am opening the window and I am throwing the entire deck of cards at the window. However, from my pocket, I am now extracting a single sealed envelope. Do you remember your card?
Whitney: Yes! Yes.
Kenny Baldwin: I am opening now for the first time this envelope, and from it extracting a single card. Whitney, I am holding it in my hands. I can see the card now. What was your card?
Whitney: The three of diamonds!
Kenny Baldwin: Amazing. In my hand right now is the three of diamonds! Abrakadabra!
Whitney: Yeah! Did you hear that?! Same card!

Stephen: That was the trick? Really?
Kenny Baldwin: Whitney, for my next amazement, I need you to procure a 20 dollar bill.
Whitney: Oh, sure, I have one right here. Wait... oh... here it is.
Kenny Baldwin: Okay, now take it, and light it on fire! I'm just kidding, I'm totally kidding. Tear it in half. Place the two halves in the nearest garbage disposal.
Stephen: Oh, Whitney, let's not do that.
Whitney: Done! That money can never come back!
Stephen: Do you hear yourself?
Kenny Baldwin: Aha! Or can it, Whitney? Take your husband's wallet.
Stephen: Do not disposal this.
Kenny Baldwin: Now close your eyes. Reach inside and grab hold of the contents. On the count of three, pull out your hand. One, two, three. It's the twenty dollars! Abrakadabra!
Whitney: Yeah! Eat it, Stephen! It has the same guy on it! Ah!

Stephen: Okay, no, no. That was definitely in there. This is a complete scam.
Kenny Baldwin: You, lad, what's your name.
Stephen: Stephen.
Kenny Baldwin: Stephen, I imagine you drive a car, is that correct?
Stephen: Yeah, it's in the driveway.
Kenny Baldwin: Well, Stephen, don't look now, but your car is no longer there!
Stephen: What? What? Really?
Kenny Baldwin: Don't look, don't look. Please, don't look. Please, don't look. I konw it's not there, because I'm currently lying down in the back seat and have been stuck in a straitjacket!
Stephen: Well, what are you doing there?
Kenny Baldwin: I don't know, but my hands are cuffed, my legs are bound with chains and padlocks, and the doors have been welded shut!
Stephen: You welded the doors shut?!
Kenny Baldwin: Oh, it appears we're on a conveyor belt of some kind in the middle of a large junkyard. Oh no, we're headed towards a trash compactor. Soon, we will be crushed and turned into a small cube the size of your Xbox!
Stephen: My car!
Kenny Baldwin: Oh, it's terrible, Stephen, it's like that awful scene in The Brave Little Toaster!
Stephen: Brave Little Toaster!
Kenny Baldwin: Oh, it seems hopeless. I don't have much time, we're getting closer! Oh no, make it... ah! Ah! Ah!
Stephen: No, Kenny! Kenny! Kenny, are you there? I... I pushed him too hard... I should have believed his first trick!

Kenny Baldwin: Ugh.
Stephen: Kenny? Kenny, is that you?
Kenny Baldwin: Stephen, go look out the window. It's your car! Abrakadabra!
Whitney: Yeah, it's our car!
Stephen: Wait a second! No! No, no, no. You had me there, mister Kenny, but I'm not falling for it.
Whitney: Stephen!
Stephen: No, don't you see? All he does is just make up an elaborate trick, and then an awesome reveal at the end. There is no way of knowing if it ever really happened.
Kenny Baldwin: Well, excuse me, Stephen, but I describe my tricks very accurately... on this side of the phone.
Whitney: The Brave Little Toaster!
Stephen: I don't believe it, and I won't believe it.
Kenny Baldwin: Whitney?
Whitney: Yeah?
Kenny Baldwin: Do you still have Stephen's wallet?
Whitney: Yeah, it's right over here.
Kenny Baldwin: Well, open it. Abrakadabra!
Whitney: Yeah! It's on fire, Stephen! Do you see the money?!

## Trivia

* 1-800-Phone-Magician is an altered version of an old sketch by BYU Divine Comedy.
	+ The sketch originally featured Jason Gray, Adam Berg, and McKay Jacobsen, as well as Stephen Meek and Kenny Baldwin.
* This sketch was uploaded on the day the episode aired on BYUtv.
* This is the ninetieth sketch of Studio C.
* This is the fourth, and longest, sketch of Season 2 Episode 4.
* This is the longest sketch since Flirting Academy, and the second-longest sketch of Season 2.
* This sketch features Kenny Baldwin as the phone magician.
	+ This is the first sketch since the season 1 finale Shoulder Angel Meets Shawn Bradley featuring a non-cast member, and only the third time in total, after Elizabeth Funk appeared in Awkward Avoidance Viking: Grandma's House.
	+ This is the first time a Divine Comedy member has been featured in a sketch of Studio C.
* This is the first sketch confirmed to have been written by Kenny Baldwin.