Gaston

Gaston was a mighty chad, possible one of the greatest of all time, war-hero, warrior, hunter, tavern-owner, abolitionist and the founder of the social philosophy "neo-gastonism," which advocated manly traditionalism and rejects our modern, degenerated society. He was the grand-master of the Grand Chad Lodge of France. He was so unbelievably chadly that he had his own theme song that was sung in bars all over the world.

## Early Life

Gaston was born to Edmond Dantes, a mighty French chad who brutally fucked everyone who ever wronged him, and Haydee, a Turkish chick who his father screwed after he nobly avenged her father.

After being born, Gaston congratulated his mother and cut his own umbilical cord. He then immediately began doing push-ups. The doctors were so amazed

As a lad, Gaston ate four dozen eggs every morning to help him grow large, while all the other kids only wanted to eat sugar and other crap. It worked, and Gaston grew to 6 feet by the time he was in middle school and then grew another 8 inches by the times he graduated high school. He also hunted wild beasts every day, often with his bare hands.

When he turned 18, he applied to join the Society of Chads. His father wrote him a recomendation himself and the vote to admit him was unanimous. Gaston swore in the eyes of God to never watch porn and dedicate himself to manliness, defending the weak and innocent and fighting evil.

## The French Army

Gaston fought in the French Army in North America, North Africa, China and Europe, and won many medals and rose to the rank of major general. He fought to abolish slavery in Africa and freed more than 700,000 trafficked humans.

## Belle

After the wars, Gaston returned to civilian life and took up hunting and opened a tavern. He tried to get married to Belle but she turned him down because she wanted to be feminist but then ended up falling in love with a hideous beast after she developed stockholm syndrome. Gaston tried to rescue her and stabbed the beast but then got shoved off the balcony and he fell 2,000 feet into the raveen.

## Battle with the Demogorgon

Gaston somehow survived the fall and decided he needed a vacation so he journeyed to Hawkins Indiana for a week to take some time off. While he was there, some kids named Lucas, Dustin and Mike came to him begging for help because the demogorgon was trying to kill Eleven so Gaston showed up, rescued El , fought the monster and tore it apart with his bare hands. Disapointed that his vacation was ruined, Gaston returned to his town.

## The Assef Expedition

Gaston was in a bar and everyone was singing about how great he was as usual when Mac drove up in a SEPTA bus with the rest of the gang and Amir. Gaston had to tell his fans to hold off singing about how great he was so he could go off to war, much to their chagrin.

Once in Afghanistan, Gaston used his skills to kill dozens of Taliban, and Gaston found the room where Hassan was and was going to kill Assef himself but Amir insisted he hold back. Gaston obliged, and when Assef was defeated he escaped back to Philadelphia with the rest of the team and they all celebrated in Paddy's Pub.

## Battle of Winterfell

Gaston and several other members of the society traveled to Winterfell to fight the Night King and his evil SJW army. Thousands of people were killed, but Gaston wasn't one of them since he slew thousands of SJW's with his bare hands. Just as all seemed lost, Omni-Man flew over and killed all the SJW's since he wanted to be the one to conquer the world and not anyone else. Gaston and the other survivors were like "meh" and they had a party to celebrate.

## Battle of King's Landing

Gaston pledged his allegiance to Jon Snow because he had nothing else to do and fought with him to capture King's Landing but then Dany burned it down and killed everyone and Gaston realized that Dany was evil so he renounced his support for her as well as Jon Snow when he refused to sever his ties. Gaston then went on vacation.

## Romance

Gaston took a two-week vacation and one day while his crowd of fans was following him through the streets of Paris he rescued Fantine from the gutter, started a romance with her and later married her. He had a whole bunch of strapping young chads born to him shortly afterwards.

## Second Battle of Gettysburg

Jon was eventually convinced by Black Dynamite to try and take the throne himself, regardless of whether he wanted it or not. Gaston immediately pledged his support to him and helped train his troops. Gaston fought at the Second Battle of Gettysburg and once again easily killed lots of people. But then he learned that his buddy Victor Quartermaine had been killed by Clayton.

## Battle with Clayton

Gaston rushed to the ruins of King's Landing where he challenged Clayton to a one on one fight. After a battle that lasted several minutes, Gaston shot Clayton in the face with a shotgun and killed him.

## Death

After killing Clayton, Gaston decided that to save the world once and for all he needed to destroy the genocide-inator, which Daenarys was about to activate. Gaston boarded a plane and flew over King's Landing and used the gun on the plane to kill a bunch of Dany's army but the plane was eventually shot and fatally damaged so Gaston knew he wouldn't survive so he began singing "la marseillaise" and his fellow chad Ujio began singing along as Gaston kamikazed the crashing plane into the genocide-inator, destroying it once and for all but killing himself in the process.

## Fate

Gaston was immediately welcomed into heaven by Jesus Christ himself, as well as Moses and Elijah. He then took his seat beside his proud fore-fathers.

## Legacy

The battle was won shortly after, and all the world mourned for Gaston. What was recovered of his body was placed in a coffin and laid in state at the Vatican, Capital Building and St. Paul's Cathedral, before being laid to rest at the base of Mount Rushmore. Millions of people make pilgrimages to his grave every year, as well as his hundreds of memorials.

## Likes

* Women
* Treating Women with Respect
* Fantine
* Humanity
* Defending the Innocent
* Freeing Slaves
* Traditionalism
* God
* Jesus
* Working out in the gym
* Fighting For Freedom and Justice

## Dislikes

* Slavery
* People Harming the Innocent
* The Demogorgon
* Genocide
* Racism