Coach for a Day/Transcript

* (fade in: The school bell rings, and the gym class doors are open)
* **PE Teacher:** (off-screen) All right, class, hit the showers, get dressed, and I'll see you tomorrow for swimming at the school's public pool.
* (Lola walks over and sees Tommy and Gus struggling out the door panting for air)
* **Lola:** Hey guys, how was gym?
* **Tommy:** Exhausting, Lola.
* **Gus:** One whole hour if wrestling in our undies.
* **Lola:** (confused) You did physical education in just your underwear?
* **Gus:** Yes, because for some reason, the school's dress code is NOT very strict.
* **Tommy:** But it was worth it. We did it for Janet Wolfgang.
* **Lola:** Who's Janet Wolfgang?
* **Tommy:** (points to their teacher) Our PE teacher.
* **Lola:** You mean the one with her hair all up in a bundle, very strict drill sergeant personality, sports hoodie with belly button sticking out?
* **Tommy:** Yep, that's the one. (they see her blow the whistle signalling the other classmates to the locker rooms) Look at the way she blows her whistle.
* **Lola:** So? All PE teachers do that.
* **Tommy:** And she's going to lift some exercise weights. Look at how she does that. (Janet groans as she lifts the weights) And look at the way she groans when doing that. (he stands up) Isn't Janet wonderful?
* **Lola:** Well, I wouldn't call her wonderful, I've never trained with her, Tommy.
* **Tommy:** Well, you know, Lola, Janet Wolfgang is the coolest person in the world, and I want to be just like her.
* **Gus:** (shocked) Have you lost your marbles?
* **Lola:** I don't think he has, Gus.
* **Tommy:** But before I can be just like her, I have to learn everything about her. But first, I'm going to go clean up in the showers, then afterwards, I will go into her office and ask her a few questions. Come on, Gus, let's hit the showers.
* **Gus:** Last one there's a rotten egg! (he follows Tommy to the locker room)
* **Lola:** (confused) Hmm? Why would Tommy want to be like one of his teachers?
* (sometime later, we see the inside of Janet's office, complete with sports equipment, pictures of her, and awards of being the best coach of the year)
* **Janet Wolfgang:** (as she sits down in her chair and relaxes) Ahh. This is the life. I can do whatever I want in my job. I can coach, I can blow my whistle, and I can even wear this type of clothing any time I want! (laughs in pride, then there's a knock at her door) Oh, who is it?
* **Tommy:** It's me, Tommy Turnbull, please, may I come in?'
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Well, all right, but this better be important, I have to get ready for my next class.
* **Tommy:** (opens the door and sits in a chair) Excuse me, Miss Wolfgang?
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Call me, Janet.
* **Tommy:** I have a few questions. Here's my first question, what's your favorite hobby?
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Blowing my whistle.
* **Tommy:** Blowing your whistle? Are you sure, what about The Human Fist? Collecting the Human Fist products is my favorite hobby.
* **Janet Wolfgang:** The Human Fist is okay, but blowing the whistle is my favorite hobby, see? (blows whistle for Tommy) I always carry it around with me wherever I go.
* **Tommy:** Okay, blowing her whistle. Here's my next question. What's your favorite kind of sport?
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Hmm, swimming, I think.
* **Tommy:** Swimming, not dodge-ball? I really like dodge-ball, you teach us dodge-ball every so often.
* **Janet Wolfgang:** I know, but swimming is definitely my favorite sport.
* **Tommy:** Okay. Here's my last question, what's your favorite kind of clothes?
* **Janet Wolfgang:** That IS a weird question, but I'll answer anyway. That's easy, I like midriff baring shirts and short shorts, like the ones I'm wearing right now.
* **Tommy:** Midriff baring shirts and short shorts?!
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Yes, I never wear anything that could cover my stomach, I don't even have any shirts like that. Besides, I could wear them all day. And another thing, don't you have lunch to go to?
* **Tommy:** Oh. Okay, Janet, thanks anyway. I'll see you tomorrow at swim class. (he leaves)
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Same here. I wonder what that was all about.
* (cut back to Lola who was waiting outside the door)
* **Lola:** (as Tommy comes out) So, how did it go?
* **Tommy:** Well, I did ask her my questions, but those answers are not what I had in mind. Blowing whistles, swimming, and belly shirts. BUT, I don't care if I have to wear a midriff shirt, carry a whistle around, or swim a lot. It'll be worth it if I can be just like Janet Wolfgang. Tomorrow, I'm gonna start acting like her. (sighs) Come on, Lola, let's go get some lunch.
* **Lola:** Okay. (sighs) Something tells me that Tommy's going a little to far with this.
* (sometime after school, we fade to the living room with Tommy and his mother, Debbie Turnbull)
* **Debbie:** Hmm, let me get this straight, you want to borrow one of my shirts for school tomorrow? But Tommy, why would you want to do that?
* **Tommy:** Because Mom, I want to change my image.
* **Debbie:** Change your image, huh? Hmm, well, all right. (She goes through her closet and sees a white sports bra) Here, you can change your image with my white tank top, I bought it on sale one day, but I never wore it. (hands the sports bra to Tommy) There you go, son. Just make sure you don't lose it, okay?
* **Tommy:** I won't, don't worry. Thanks, Mom. (walks off)
* **Debbie:** You're welcome, I guess. Hmm, the clothing's gone straight to the kid's head.
* (The next day, Gus and Tommy are in class, and Tommy is now donning the white sports bra along with white shorts, Robotboy peeks from inside the backpack)
* **Robotboy:** What Tommy wearing? I no understand.
* (Cuts to classroom, and Mr. Fournier is about start the quiz)
* **Mr. Fournier:** All right, class, today's quiz has to do with exercise and sports. All you have to do is circle in some the answers about what makes sports important and what do most gym class teachers wear. And Mr. Gus, I don't expect you to fail on this one okay, same to you Mr. Turnbull.
* **Tommy:** See how Mr. Fournier wants us to succeed? From now on, I'm going to follow every order. (Mr. Fournier hands him the quiz paper and starts writing in the answers)
* (moments later)
* **Mr. Fournier:** Okay, class, time's up! Please bring your papers to the front of the desk and I'll grade you. (the classmates pass their papers forward) First up, Gus Turner. (reads the answers) What the heck? Slavery, hating you, and wearing snappy tuxedos? Mr. Turner, you did it again! You failed, you get an F! (face-palms himself) Why am I not surprised?
* **Tommy:** I'm not surprised either, Mr. Fournier. Gus needs to be a little bit more smarter.
* **Mr. Fournier:** Easy for you to say, let me see your paper. (Tommy hands him the quiz paper) Hmm, keeps us healthy, they like you, and the women gym teachers wear midriff baring clothes, most of them anyway. Well, Mr. Turnbull, it seems you got these answers right. You get an A+, congratulations.
* **Tommy**: (without jumping for joy) Thank you, Mr. Fournier. (heads back to his seat)
* **Mr. Fournier:** That kid has become very competent lately.
* (later in the hallways)
* **Robotboy:** (peeks out from the backpack) Hey, Tommy, Tommy wanna play with Robotboy after school? (he doesn't answer) Tommy? (he still doesn't answer) Hey, Tommy, play hide and seek or something? (still, no answer) Hello? Hello, Robotboy to Tommy! Robotboy talking to Tommy!
* **Tommy:** I'm not Tommy!
* **Robotboy:** Oh, well then, who Tommy be?
* **Tommy:** Guess.
* **Robotboy:** Robotboy needs clues.
* **Tommy:** Okay. Um, I'm wearing a sports bra.
* **Robotboy:** So? Tommy's mother wears sports bra all the time. Give Robotboy another one!
* **Tommy:** Okay, here's another clue. (picks up whistle and blows on it) I'm carrying a silver whistle around my neck.
* **Robotboy:** What that suppose to mean? Robotboy need better clue than that!
* **Tommy:** All right! I was blowing a whistle and carrying around my neck with a cord.
* **Lola:** (walks over and sees Tommy talking to Robotboy) Those are the worst clues that I have ever heard.
* **Robotboy:** Wait a minute, Robotboy seeing a pattern here. Give Robotboy one more clue.
* **Tommy:** Okay, who talks to their gym students like this (clears throat and speaks like a strict sergeant) Make friends with the pain! The pain will never leave you!
* **Robotboy:** What?
* **Lola:** You know, for a minute there, I thought you were suppose to be Janet, but Janet doesn't talk like that, she talks like this. (takes the whistle and blows it and then starts shouting) Make friends with the pain, my fellow classmates!
* **Tommy:** No, Lola, she talks like this! Give me 50 push-ups! She talks like this, and that's who I am, I'm Janet Wolfgang, I look like Janet, I talk like Janet, I dress like Janet, and I blow the whistle like Janet! I AM Janet!
* **Robotboy:** Call Robotboy crazy, but Robotboy thought teacher was in class.
* **Tommy:** No, I'm Janet Wolfgang! Well, I am!
* **Lola:** (sighs) Why do I get the feeling this isn't going to work out during swimming class?
* (later, it was swimming class at gym, and Tommy is still in his sports shirt and short shorts)
* **Tommy:** You see, Lola, I'm wearing a tank top and short shorts like Janet, and I can blow the whistle just like Janet. (blows a short note on the whistle) And now, I'm going to swim like Janet. In fact, Lola, I am SO much like Janet, I bet you can't even tell the difference. Wish me luck. (goes inside)
* **Lola:** I don't know how much like I could wish him if he's dressed like that. Do you Robotboy?
* **Robotboy:** Robotboy don't know.
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Okay, class, today we're going to learn some swimming lessons!
* **Tommy:** Oh, I am so ready Miss Janet!
* **Janet Wolfgang:** You're 30 seconds late, Turnbull, but I guess you're okay. Now, is everybody ready to do some pool warm-ups?
* **Tommy:** Yeah, is everybody ready to do some pool warm-ups?
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Now, at the sound of the whistle, jump into the water.
* **Tommy:** Yeah, at the sound of her whistle, jump into the water.
* **Janet Wolfgang:** All right, go! (blows whistle and the school kids all jump in and they all do their warm-ups) That was great you guys!
* **Tommy:** (comes up from under the water) Yeah, that was great you guys!
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Uh, Tommy, what are you doing?
* **Tommy:** Uh, Tommy, what are you doing?
* **Janet Wolfgang:** No, you're Tommy, I'm Janet.
* **Tommy:** No, no, no, you're Tommy, I'M Janet.
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Tommy Turnbull, this isn't funny.
* **Tommy:** Tommy Turnbull, this isn't funny.
* **Gus:** Looks like we've got a copycat, here.
* **Janet  Wolgang:** Tommy, will you stop repeating everything I say?
* **Tommy:** I can't!
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Why not?
* **Tommy:** Because, I want to be just like you, and how can I be just like you if I can't do what you do, follow your orders, or say what you say?
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Oh, boy, this is going to be a problem.
* **Tommy:** This is going to be a problem.
* (Lola and Robotboy are peeking from the doors)
* **Lola:** You know something, Robotboy?
* **Robotboy:** What, Lola?
* **Lola:** Something tells me that two coaches is one coach too many.
* (sometime later, everyone is racing to the nearest end of the pool)
* **Tommy:** Come on, kids, get closer, I know you can, come on, you can do it!
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Tommy's pretending to be me.
* **Tommy:** Tommy's pretending to be me.
* **Janet Wolfgang:** He's copying everything I say.
* **Tommy:** He's copying everything I say.
* **Gus:** (groans and gets out of the pool) There are too many PE teachers around here!
* **Lola:** Yeah, I thought this was a one gym teacher program.
* **Janet Wolfgang:** All right, that's it! (blows hard on the whistle) Tommy Turnbull, come out of the pool this instant! (Tommy climbs out of the pool) Tommy, you have to stop pretending to be me.
* **Tommy:** But, but Janet, I like you, I really, really like you, no offense, Lola, I like you so much as our gym teacher with the clothes and everything that I want to be you!
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Well, you know something, Tommy, that's very sweet, and nice of you to appreciate my wardrobe, but you know, there is someone I like very much and I have not seen him all day, and I really, really miss him.
* **Tommy:** Who?
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Tommy! That's who.
* **Gus:** That's right, what happened to Tommy?
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Yeah, I miss being strict and look angry at all times at Tommy.
* **Lola:** Me too.
* **Gus:** Yeah, and I miss playing with Tommy. (sniff)
* **Janet Wolfgang:** There is nobody like Tommy, I really miss him, it's just that, there's nobody like him.
* **Gus:** Yeah. Oh please, PLEASE come back, Tommy!
* **Tommy:** Well, I guess, I guess I could be me again. (the class cheers) I guess I kind of miss being me. And besides, I really don't like being strict at all times and I'd rather be fully clothed than bare my midriff, and these shorts and crop top are too hot! (starts to sweat)
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Oh, well, please, let me help you take them off. (takes the top and shorts off of Tommy) Well, well, well, looky here, it's Tommy!
* **Tommy:** I'm back! (the class cheers)
* **Janet Wolfgang:** (notices that some underwear falls out of the shorts) Oh, uh, oops.
* **Tommy:** What? (Janet hands him a mirror) Aaah! I'm naked! What's the matter with you?! That was the only thing related to me that was on!
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Oh, well, I'm sorry about that. (hands the underwear back to Tommy, but he doesn't put it on)
* **Tommy:** And another thing, the sports bra is one of my mom's tank tops, she told me not to lose it.
* **Janet Wolfgang**: Oh yeah, that. (laughs as she hands the top to Tommy) I'll tell you what. I want you to streak off to the locker room and see if you could find a spare pair of swim trunks.
* **Tommy:** Okay, I guess I can do that, but if I do that could we go back to swimming lessons.
* **Janet Wolfgang:** Of course we can. All right, go! (blows the whistle and Tommy runs off, passing by Lola)
* **Tommy:** Excuse me, Lola.
* **Gus:** Finally!
* **Lola:** Yeah, my world makes sense again.
* (after school, Tommy is back in his normal clothes and Tommy, Gus, Robotboy, and Lola are walking home)
* **Lola:** I'm really glad you're back to being you, Tommy.
* **Tommy:** Yeah, me too.
* **Lola:** You know, the best thing you can be is just be yourself.
* **Tommy:** Yeah, I know.
* **Lola:** Tommy, are you listening to me?
* **Tommy:** Oh yeah, sure Lola, but have you ever noticed how cute Gus is? And don't you love his way of talking? Maybe I'll be just like Gus Turner. I'll eat a lot, and I'll get all the answers wrong and cheat a lot.
* **Gus:** (groans) Now wait just a minute, Turnbull!
* **Lola:** Now, Tommy-
* **Tommy:** (laughs) I'm was just kidding, after that nude incident, from now on, I'm only going to be me, Tommy Turnbull.
* **Gus:** Whatever, it wasn't very funny, you know.
* **Lola:** Listen, I'm very sorry about that naked incident, I had no idea Janet accidentally slipped out your briefs, usually, we just take the costumes off ourselves.
* **Tommy:** Yeah, I can see that. Hey, Lola, since it's Friday, would you like to sleepover with me and Robotboy?
* **Lola:** Oh, I'd love too. (they hold hands)
* **Tommy:** Hey, Gus, do you want to join us?
* **Gus:** No you can go ahead. Besides, I've got dinner to get too. I'm having ribs.
* **Tommy:** Okay, whatever you say, Gus. What do you say, Lola, let's?
* **Lola:** Let's. (and they walk off into the sunset with Robotboy following pursuit and the episode ends)