Bargo the Bikdip: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut/Story

# Bargo the Bikdip: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

## Chapter 1

Bargo woke up and hit his head on a branch. He got knocked out and fell back down. When Bargo awoke again, his friends were all sitting up rubbing their heads. a few were lightly chatting. "Oh man, that was one crazy dream!" "You said it, HADHAD." Bargo got up and somehow felt the lump on his head. it felt very large and angry. in fact, it looked that way, too. Bargo spun around and rolled over to his companions. "oh, hey Bargo. How ya doin'?" asked Junspinar. "Fine, I'm fine..." Bargo looked around. they were still in the clearing in the forest. While he was looking around, he noticed that an Ultimax was standing, looking at what would have been stars if it were nighttime. Bargo went over to him. "Hey, i don't remember having an Ultimax with us." Ultimax slowly looked down at him. "You should rest," he said in his low voice. "That was quite a long journey." What journey?" "Ah, don't you remember at all?" "You can't be talking about that dream." "It wasn't no dream. That was real." "Oh holy god," Bargo said, then fainted...again. When he awoke, he was being carried on the back of Ultimax, and it was nighttime. "Wha? Where am i?" "Oh good, you're up. finally," said HADHAD, "You sure like to sleep a lot." Bargo got down off Ultimax. "Well, i need my beauty sleep." The companions ignored him and walked on. they had only walked for a short while before coming to a small hidden clearing. they set up camp. Over s'mores, the companions filled Bargo in on what had happened. apparently, the "dream" was actually not a dream at all, but in fact real. they had somehow gotten transported back to the time they left. "But we've been thinking, Bargo," Shmoeg'nhoeg'n continued, "you remember that time when you blasted off in your rocket and left us?" Bargo nodded. "Well we all felt more than a bit sad, and also somewhat jealous at that time. We have decided to all go somewhere as you did, but this time we would all go our seperate ways. What do you think?" Bargo didn't know what to say. hecouldn't think clearly. it may have been because all he ate that day were 42 pudding pops, but it may also have been because he truly liked his friends. but there was a time for everyhting. it seemed the time for parting was soon. "Well i think i have no choice. Since you all have made this decision, i must also. But don't get me wrong, i fully agree with it. so let us have a toast. To friendship." "To friendship!" they all shouted togehter and clinked their glasses against each other. They drank merrily, but all were sad inside. Deep down none wanted to part, but all knew they must. "Let us enjoy the night!" someone yelled and there was much happiness that night.

## Chapter 2

Although they were sad about it, the companions decided it would be best if they all went away for a while, so they could have some free time. Ultimax said he did not belong in this world, though. He decided the best thing would be if he returned to the future, so he would be able to keep the world safe from the army that the Supreme Wimple's replacement would send out. After a short good-bye, he said "Herbaah" and somehow dissapeared. As he dissapeared, a battered piece of paper dropped from his warp point. Bargo picked it up, and read

"Attention Companions: although you defeated the Supreme Wimple in the future, as you may have guessed there are more. Remember battling one in the Elite 5? there are actually 7 more Supreme Wimples scattered around the world, and they will all meet eventually. You must prevent this, because if they ever meet there will be an inbalence in the universe and everything will be annihallated. You must defeat them. Here are their locations:

The Land of Happy

The Ocean of Perish

The Mountain of Hope

The Forest of Crappiness

The Random Place of Weirbeeness

The Volcano of Doom, and

The Castle of Time.

since there are seven of you, you should all pick out a certain place, and go there. You have only 10 days before all is DOOOOOOOMMMMMEEEEDDDD!!!!!!"

the paper ended there. Since they were going to split up anyway, they decided they better do this. CP would go to the Land of Happy, Shmœg'nhœg'n would go to the Ocean of Perish, Bargo would go to the Mountain of Hope, Ian would go to the Forest of Crappiness, Junspinar would go to the Random Place of Weirbeeness, HADHAD would go to the Volcano of Doom, and Yukronsky would go to the Castle of Time. Somehow they all teleported to their personal locations, as a voice in their heads said "good luck".

## Chapter 3

### Bargo-Day 1

Bargo landed hard on the parched and rocky ground. He got up and looked ahead. the Mountain of Hope didn't look very hopeful. it stretched a full thousand feet ahead of him. it wasn't going to be a pleasant journey... Bargo began to walk, trying to enjoy the non-existent scenery. suddenly, Bargo caught something out of the corner of his eye. it darted behind a large rock. Bargo continued slowly for the next five hours and kept catching glimpses of something. suddenly, it popped out in front of him and came at him extremely quickly, knocking him backward sand down a little ways. he skidded to a stop and got up. before him stood a Spherio, exaclty like him in every way, save the black eyes. the Spherio lurched hungrily at Bargo again, but Bargo quickly dodged it. he Triple Eye Beamed the thing from behind, making it fly away a little ways. but it came ominously hovering back up. Bargo tried again, but it simply disappeared. Bargo had only a split second to be confused before being crushed from behind. he fell down hard. the Spherio jumped on him repeatedly and beat him into submission. right before Bargo passed into unconsciousness, the dark Spherio wispered, "sleep tight," and hit Bargo one last time.

### Bargo-Day 2

Bargo awoke, but then he wasn't sure if he was still asleep. it was so dark he wasn't sure if his eyes were closed. it was damp, and Bargo could hear water dripping somewhere. he looked around and saw a small shaft of light hitting the ground near him. he wondered how he hadn't seen it before. Bargo painfully got up and rolled over to it. he looked out the small crack in the roof and wondered what to do. he felt around a little, and shortly found a length of rope. it seemed the evil Spherio had carelessly tossed him into this place. Bargo tied a rock to the end of the rope and slung it up at the hole. the rock caught and Bargo pulled himself out and into the sunlught. Bargo took a deep breaht of fresh mountain air and pushed the rope back down for someone esle to use. Barog had lost time being unconscious and had to make good time today. he rolled quickly up the mountain, pacing himself. about midday, Bargo fell in a small pit. he heard a cackle and looked up. there was that annoying Spherio again. he was grinning. but so was Bargo. "Will you please help me out? i seem to be in a bit of a pickle." "Sure thing" came the low, raspy voice of the dark SC. it let a length of rope down to Bargo, who grabbed hold of it. he was pulled almost to the top before the rope was dropped. he leaped quickly to the side and clung to the rock. the pit was dark and Spherio thougt he had succeeded in defeating the Bargo. he was chucklingto himself when Bargo came flipping over the edge and barrel rolled smack into him. before the evil thing had time to recover, Bargo beat on him some more, eventually flinging him a ways away. then he began to meditate. he had remembered a technique his wise trainer had tought him when he was takig lessons. Bargo opened his mouth and began to gather energy. the Spherio was regaining its ability and began to rise. Bargo's eyes slowly turned a glowing blue and electric bursts escaped from him. more small particles of energy gathered inside. Bargo closed his mouth. it was a sight to see, Bargo with his three glowing eyes and sparks flying from him, the ground around him cracking and turnign to dust in a radius of about twently feet. as the Spherio came over the ridge, he saw Bargo but only had a short time to marvel before being wiped off the planet and having his soul sent to another dimension. Bargo stopped glowing and collapsed to the ground. he was tired, but he knew he must continue. He plodded on...

## Chapter 4

### Junspinar- Day 1

Junspinar has just arrived in the Random Place of Weirbeeness. This was.............. a very weird place. Basically nothing made sence, but nevertheless he had to find the Supreme Wimple. He arrived in a completely white place with no visible horizon. There were bouncing random shapes all over, and occasionally they would combine with each other, have convulsions, or implode. After walking for what was in reality a few minutes but seemed like hours, Junspinar had an idea. He jumped on one of the random shapes, and used his tail as a propeller to steer it, as a sort of makeshift airplane. He flew around for a while, and then the stupid thing imploded. He got on another one, and this time noticed a trapdoor on the "ceiling" of the place. He flew up to it, and entered. This was a beautiful, misty place with a few inches of water on the ground, and a small island in the middle with a single tree. He walked to the other side of the place, where there was a building, but it dissolved as he walked up to it. As he walked back, a dark figure appeared from behind the tree. It was a completely black Junspinar! He attacked it for a while, but it mimicked his every move. He had an idea. He moved so the shadow was standing in front of the tree, and then jumped backwards. The shadow jumped backwards as well, and it knocked itself out from crashing into the tree. Junspinar ran over to it, but he got sucked inside the shadow.

### Junspinar- Day Unknown

Junspinar recovered from the teleportation. In front of him was.... The Supreme Wimple! The Supreme Wimple quickly morphed into the shadow Junspinar again. The real Junspinar rushed towards it, and got sucked into the shadow again.

### Junspinar- Day Still Unknown

He now reappeared in the misty room. The building was back yet again, so he walked toward it, and nothing happened. He entered it. In there was..... a random person's house. Looking outside he saw a typical town. Unsure of what to do, he looked around the house. He spotted a calender, and it revealed that this was the 5th day already. He has only 5 days left to stop the Supreme Wimple...

## Chapter 5

### HADHAD - Day 1

HADHAD roared out of the ground. on front of him was a package. intrigued, HADHAD looked in the package. immediately he was sucked in. he fell for about ten hours before finally landing on a large spike. fortunately, he was just a stick figure and therefore unhurt. but now he was slowly melting into the fires that were everywhere. it was like hell. suddenly the flaming skeleton of a giant bird came rushing at him and he got carried away by it. the fire on his neck was flourishing from all this. the skeleton flew about two inches upward and came back out of the package then it flew in a random direction for about a second before falling to pieces on the ground and disintegrating. HADHAD got up from the blackened spot. Note to self, never look in odd packages... HADHAD said to himself. not even twently feet away was anothe rpackage. he didn't go near it. in fact, it had many supplies inside that would have been useful, but he missed out. by nightfall, HADHAD was tired out. any normal person would be ashes by now it was so hot. HADHAD sat down on a rock to rest and it started to move. he shot up from where he was sitting and it rose up, a great beast. its massive legs unfolded and he saw its titanic size. it rose far above him, and its hide was like stone. its eye opened and it was large and red, like a cat's eye. HADHAD uttered a piercing scream and ran. the thing was dismayed and confused by the scream and began wildy running about. it crushed many poor creatures in its path. now angry, it sped on its warpath after HADHAD. HADHAD fell in a hole and knew nothing more.

### DAY 2

HADHAD awoke and everything was hazy. he tried rubbing his eyes, but it satyed. then he realized it was just the heat shimmering in front of him. he climed out of the hole and there was smoke everywhere. he saw the giant tracks of the beast. in fact, the beast has touched a rock and it trippend and went flying off the volcano to its death. it lie in rubble. may it rest in peace. HADHAD wiped his eyes again and sped off. it didn't take him long to find a huge staircase, winding all the way from the bottom of the volcano to the crater at the top. he decided to follow it. small lizards frolicked in this weather, and they didn't bother HADHAD. but then a crowd of them suddenly sprang at HADHAD and latched on to him all over. every single one clamped its teeth somewhere on his body, and he was in great pain. he tried burning them off, but the just changed color slightly and grew a bit bigger. he spun about to try and fling them of, and a few fell to the ground. he was fighting a losing battle. he was rolling on the ground in agony when he saw another package. he rolled over to it and opened it. a foul air rose out of it, and tiny fingers of it seemed to grope about. the fingers reached the lizards and wrapped them completely. HADHAD clung to the ground until all but a few lizard were left and the package closed itself. he bit the last few and cooked them for dinner. it was going to be hard hard journey, he thought.

## Chapter 6

### Shmœg'nhœg'n- Day 1

The instant Shmœg'nhœg'n entered the Ocean of Perish, he noticed how stormy and dark it was. Every few seconds the dark water would light up for a brief moment from a flash of lightning. Looking around, Shmœg'nhœg'n saw nothing but water. He flew up a little and still nothing was visible. However, when the lightning flashed again he noticed a small triangle sticking out out the water. He flew towards it, only to be encountered by a sea dragon. The sea dragon was at least 100 feet long, and with huge fangs. He opened his mouth wide, and.... said "Hi. My name is Gregory. Will you be my friend?" then Shmœg'nhœg'n said "uhh... I guess. What's that triangle over there?" "Oh, its the underwater pyramid. Supposedly there is something "special" in it, but it's guarded by some fearsome creatures." Then Gregory died for NO REASON AT ALL. Shmœg'nhœg'n figured he had to get to the pyramid before nighttime, or else he would have to stay awake all night. So he flew towards it. A freaking hour later, he finally reached the pyramid. It seemed somewhat small, and no visable entrance. He dove into the water, and HOLY FISH PASTE!! the pyramid was freaking huge. He swam down to the entrance, and went inside. The interior looked very much like the stereotypical Egyptian pyramid. He was tired from the long flight, so he sat down on a stone tablet to rest, but he was actually very tired and fell alseep on the hard stone.

### Shmœg'nhœg'n- Day 2

Shmœg'nhœg'n woke up, and started muttering to himself about how he wished he wouldn't have fallen asleep. He began to explore the pyramid. There were some funky hieroglyphics on the walls, but he couldn't read them. At one point he saw a bunch of holes in the floor. He took a little stone on the floor and threw it at them, and a bunch of spikes shot up through the holes. He flew over them, only to encounter the same exact trap shortly after the first. He tricked the spikes again and flew over them. Beyond these, there was a chart on the floor. He picked it up, and it had a heiroglyphic decoder! Finally he could read the messages on the walls. As he continued, he saw yet ANOTHER spike trap. On the wall there were some heiroglyphics. He read them with the chart, and they said "Watch your feet". Assuming it was reffering to the spikes, he threw another stone, but felt a rumbling. He quickly flew up and barely dodged the spikes that came up, well hidden below him. Continuing through the tunnels (past some more tricks) he found a raised slab. He lifted the top off of it, and inside was a strange gold object. It turned out to be a quarter circle, and it appeared to attach to other pieces. While inspecting it, a needle shot out of the slab and hit him it the neck, then made him pass out...

## Chapter 7

### Shmœg'nhœg'n - Day 3

Shmœg'nhœg'n awoke with a horrible crick in his neck. he sat up and truned his head a full 360 degrees around to get rid of it. he had been lying againt the stone all night. he pulled the dart out of his neck, and his arm just missed being hit by another. he looked fearfully to the wall and slowly lifted his grubby piece of paper. the wall said "Any motion should be feared, if to you your life is dear." Shmœg'nhœg'n dared not move. he looked down and around, and there was the gold thing lying a few feet away. Shmœg'nhœg'n did a quick air roll dodge and luckily missed ten more darts before landing on the ground. he put the thing in his imaginary pocket and stood up, but had to immediately move his head to the side before two more darts came at him. Shmœg'nhœg'n carefully creeped back to the stone box and picked it up. three darts stuck into it. "perfect" he thought. Shmœg'nhœg'n mightily heaved the object down the dark and musty tunnel, taking about 200 darts down wiht it before it crashed to pieces on the ground far ahead. Shmœg'nhœg'n rose a bit and took the newly cleared path to where the box now lay in rubble. he took a small piece of it and just to make sure he threw it ahead. no more darts. "phew" he thought. He continued a little ways before coming upon a spiraling staircase. "ah, now im getting somewhere..." he thought, steeping on the first step. it immediately crumbled away, almost taking him down with it. the pieces fell into the oblivion below. Shmœg'nhœg'n more tentatively hovered right above the staircase, wondering if every stair fell away to pressure. he was going along when there was a strange rune on the wall, kind of like a cirle with a sqaure inside it with a tirangle inside the square. there was a triangle of thre small circles inside of it all. overcome by curiosity, he touched one of the circles. spikes came out of the three stairs below him. he pressed another, moving ot the side a bit. a huge waieght fell from above and cruched the stairs he was just over. he pressed the final circle. "this must be it," he thought, but when he preassed it a giant axe swung across the stairway from a crack in the wall. then it swung back, covering the whole passage with its size. Shmœg'nhœg'n decided never to touch runes again. Shmœg'nhœg'n passed many more perils that day, only earnign some scratches. there was no way to tell but his journey passed into

### Day 4

Smœg'nhœg'n walked wearily on, sure it must be the next day by now. the dry, stale air was not helpful. but he pressed on unheedingly. he was crossing a giant gorge at the moment, glimpsing the licking fire at the bottom. he wasn't sure why the person who built the place put so many booby traps like this for normal people. i mean, if the guy's gonna step on some spikes and get darted anyway, why put even more stuff? and did the guy never imagine to make traps for non-humans? humans don't even exist on this planet! so when Smœg'nhœg'n reached the opposite side of the valley, he took a rest on a musty rock. he woke about an hour later and was sure he should be reaching another staricase soon. suddenly a piece of dust fell off Smœg'nhœg'n and fell to the floor. he heard a small sound, slowly growing. he realized it was the sound of gas slowly leaking in. everything was getting hazy and greenish. Shmœg'nhœg'n speeded ahead, but he was quickly being drained of power. he finally collapsed out of the air right above the first step on the staircase. he fell through the stair and plunged into darkness. The air was much fresher, he noticed as he came down slowly but surely. the stair was actually comfortable. but he came to an abrupt stop when he hit the hard ground. he tunred on his infra-red vision and looked around. there it was, the other platform. but in between him and it was a small stone box with many runes on it. he dared not tought the runes, but he tripped on an eyelash and fell over, pressing down on a rune. the top of the box slowly opened and then fell on the ground and cracked. upon inspection, Smœg'nhœg'n found another quarter cirsle of gold in the box. he held up the piece triumphantly and then put it with the other one. then he picked up the handy box and carried it over to the other platform. he walked back to the one he arrived on and chewed off the rope with his teeth. the other platform fell through the floor and the pulleys carried Smœg'nhœg'n quickly back up the surface. the stair clicked into place and Smœg'nhœg'n stood up and brushed himself off. he was ready for anything.

## Chapter 8

### Yukronsky- Day 1

The Castle of Time was large. In fact, it was VERY large. It was bigger than a bread box. Anyway, you couldn't take a walk in this castle's shoes, because they would be very large indeed. So, Yukronsky tried to find a way into the castle, and failed miserably. There were no doors. At all. however, he spotted a drain pipe in the wall and entered it, hoping it would lead somewhere. The interior of the drain pipe was very wet, obviously, and Yukronsky's feathers got all screwed up from it. As he continued further into the drain

pipe, he found a grating on the wall, and blasted it open. He went through the freaking drain pipe some more, until finally he arrived in the main hall of the castle. It was large. All that was said before applies to this room as well. He spotted a chandelier on on the ceiling, and flew up to it. Up there was a ... wait, there was nothing. However, from up here he could see the far off door. He flew over to it and entered it. He then came out of another door on the opposite side of the room, somehow. But now there was no chandelier. He figured it must just be an identical room. This room had nothing in it. He flew up to where the chandelier was in the other oom, and there was a trapdoor there. He entered it, and yet again there was an identical room. This one did have a chandelier. It also had a statue. When he had nothing else to do in the room, he inspected the statue. There was nothing special about it. He pushed it, and even destroyed it, but still nothing happened. He spent the entire day looking around the room, trying to find a way out, but he found nothing and fell alseep. In his dreams, he predicted a solution.

### Yukronsky- Day 2

He figured in his dream that this was a trick room and there was really nothing in it. He headed back to the previous room. He hadn't noticed before, but there was a bookcase on the other side of the room. He went over to it and looked at the books. There was a little one called Bargo the Bikdip, so he took it out and the bookcase opened up, Dexter's Lab style. This was actually a different room. About 42 enemies came out of the walls. Unprepared, Yukronsky was captured in a tiny plastic ball from a vending machine and imploded. He reappeared in what looked like a torturing chamber. It had the standard stretchy thingy, put-your-head-in-the-hole thingy, some shackles, and lots of other crap. He had to escape from the plastic ball, but it would not break. He tried freezing it, and that did not help at all. He noticed a monkey on the wall, so he said "hey, little monkey" and the ball opened up. There appeared to be no way out of this place, so he looked around. There was an extremely small incription on the wall that said "stick yo head in there", so he put his head in the thingy and was warped somewhere else. \*Mario theme plays\* He was warped to a very large Mario Sunshine bonus level. He lost his ability to fly. Far off in the distance, he saw a random trinket. He jumped across gaps, wall-kicked off of stuff, walked on rotating boxes, and climbed on ropes to reach the end. As he grabbed the trinket, a voice said "IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE! TAKE THIS." So he took it, even though he already did, and then was transported to a ball room. The clock showed that is was actually tomarrow morning.

### Yukronsky- Day 3

This day never happened for some reason. It imploded.  :-)

### Yukronsky- Day 4

In the ball room, the 42 enemies returned. They each threw a plasic ball at him, but he flew up and dodged them all. They had an unlimited supply. They threw some more at him, but he shot ice at them and they repelled. 20 of them hit other enemies and transported them somewhere else. They shot out some more, and these were ice-proof so he dodged them all. They started lobbing more and more of the plastic balls, and eventually he was hit by one and teleported to a bathroom. He once again said "hey, little monkey", but it didn't work. Instead he said "hey,nice rack" and for no apparent reason it actually woked. The bathroom was starting to implode, so he jumped in a toilet and flushed. He went down and ended up back in the drain

pipe. This was a different one. He crawled along some more, and he saw another figure coming towards him. He shot ice at him, and the ice reflected back and Yukronsky was frozen. A few hours later, he thawed out and the day was almost over. He realised the figure was actually himself, in a mirror. He looked in a mirror, and it showed a tunnel to his left. There was nothing there, though. He checked, and it was actually a holographic wall. He passed through it and saw a ladder leading to above. He climbed it, and said "turnips". When he came out the top, there were a ton of turnips. WTF.... he went back down, and climbed up again and said "gold". At the top, there was.... turnips. riiiiiight. Beyond the turnips was a \*falls asleep abruptly\*

## Chapter 9

### Pokemaster Ian - Day 1

Pokemaster Ian appeared in a tree and fell to the ground. he bounced back up a few feet and then hit the hard ground. he brushed himself off, and up ahead was an arch with a sign over the top. it said "The 4est o' CrApPpPyNE55" and there was a Starman standing under it who came over to greet him. Pokemaster Ian just humped it and it died and melted into a pile of crap. He entered and immediately knew he would hate this place. first of all, it was highly dense with trees. the forest was full of tiny little noises. As Pokemaster Ian was walking, a little dog came out of nowhere and started humpin his leg. but this was no ordinary dog. it was "Alpha" and he was happy. Pokemaster Ian was scared and ran away like a girl. more crappy characters from Cubivore appeared everywhere. a flock of Birdos flew by above the trees. it began to rain, but the droplets were cubes. Pokemaster Ian ran into the hollow of a cardboard tree and shook himself to sleep.

### Day 2

Pokemaster Ian woke to the sound of birds chattering. it was a sunny day, but the light came from a cube-shaped sun. Pokemaster Ian got out and stretched. from the bushes came a group of Mr. Game & Watch characters. they all had different 2D weapons and there were about ten of them. as they advanced, Pokemaster Ian could hump away about three of them. but 2-D characters were hard, and they began to overwhelm him. he fought valiantly, but they didn't care about his gayness and he was forced to retreat. they chased him around for a while before he fell in a hole and disappeared. he flew out of a hole on the sixth day and landed upon the ground.

### Day 6

Pokemaster Ian realized he had lost a ton of time. but luckily he didn't have far to go. about ten yards away was the largest, most massive tree he had ever experianced in his life. the bark and the knots strangely formed a face in the tree, but it was frowning. the black, shriveled leaves of this ominous being were few and scarce upon the braches. the "mouth" of the face opened and a foul wind came out of it. Pokemaster Ian had time to glimpse a goomba staring at him before the tree sucked him in and he was plunged into darkness. some torches lit themselves and Pokemaster Ian saw he was in a giant arena. the floor was all wood, and it was enclosed by some moss ropes. Pokemaster Ian was in one corner, and in the other three were Ganon from the original Zelda, one of Bebe's Kids, and a duck from Duck Hunt. immediately after the bell rang, the ducks were shot by someone and they fell to the ground. the Bebe's Kid waited about four seconds before he attacked. he pulled out a gun and held it sideways, popping caps in Ganon's ass. Ganon, meanwhile was "popping" blasts at the kid and killed him in two hits. when he died, Ganon became invisible for some reason. as the blasts came randomly from nowhere, Pokemaster Ian tried to think of what to do. he screamed really high piched, and there was a grunt from somewhre. the blasts stopped for a bit, and Pokemaster Ian ruched over to the spot. he humped it until Ganon appeared (crying) and then did a happy dance to fiich him off. the bell rang again and a giant pillar shot out of the floor and puched a hole in the ceiling. then it cracked in several places down the side and busted apart, just leaving liek a glass tube with a glowing metal platform. the glass tube opened sort of and Pokemaster Ian stepped in. the thing closed and took him on a slow, pleasant ride up the tube until it stopped in a little cozy room with a fluffy bed. Pokemaster Ian was so tired he got out and slept for the night.

## Chapter 10

### Junspinar- Day 5, continued

Most of the day was already over, but Junspinar had to get started NNOOOOOOOWWWW!!!!! He had to build a rocket to reach the "moon", and the pieces, which there were ten of, were scattered about. He began his quest. The one called Junspinar has set out to the typical town, in search of the ten rocket pieces of wisdom and non-wisdom. Atop the tallest of the chimney protrusions was a piece of metal. He climbed to the top of the house, but a hillbilly shot him down. He struggled back up, and he managed to reach the piece. it was the rocket nose. \*monkey\* Suddenly, the day turned to night, so he had to stop for now.

### Junspinar: Day 6

"cock- a - \*monkey\* doodle-doo" said the random animal. This sentence is not in Times New Roman. Junspinar had 5, which is more than 3 and less than 42, days to finish the rocket. He killed the hillbilly and a rocket piece popped out of him. Junspinar took it and found it to be a crappy-looking top wing. A random poster appeared in front of him, and it said the great cheese has infested the land!! My goodness gosh! Anyway, \*tinkie-winkie\* appeared and did a dance. Junspinar hated it so much he \*puke\*-d and it made all the cheese go away. YAY! The town mayor (who was a \*monkey\*) gave Junspinar the rocket body, which was pretty big. He attached the nose and the top wing to it. Far away, under where the cheese was, he saw a ¤, and upon further inspection he realised it was a hole in the ground. He "accidentally" fell in it, and inside was \*gasp\* another rocket piece. This was the back, where the ...fire... comes out. He somehow got out of the pit and attached it to the freaking rocket. A big army approched. there were \*monkey\*'s, \*monkey\*'s, and even \*monkey\*'s! in an effort to be peaceful, he... chucked a bozberry bomb and killed them all. yet another rocket piece appeared (who could've guessed) and it was the left wing. this was the 5th piece. suddenly it became night really quickly and the day ended. Olimar, err, Junspinar wrote in his diary and the day saved.

## Chapter 11

### CP - Day 1

CP fell into the land of Happy. all was wasted and desolate. well, outside town. CP entered town, and a sign said "Welcome to the town of Happy!!! We here are always happy, all the time, so if you're not happy, leave!!1!!11!!1!" CP was afraid but eh entered. now let me tell you about htese inghabitants of Happy. the only emotion they could feel at all was happiness. anyone but CP would go insane in this place. everyone happily greeted him as he came in. some random SCs were hanging sheets and such with happy faces on them out ot dry. everyoen had a huge grin on their face. CP wondered how the Supreme Wimple could live in such a place. His questions were answered when he entered a little hut and there was the Suprmeme Wimple having palm trees waved at him and creams rubbed on him. CP was so puzzled he fell asleep. He awoke in a soft bed and wondered if he were dead. but he walked through a door way and there was the Supreme Wimple, taking a royal bath. "ah, i see you enjoyed your nap. will you join me?" "Uh, i'll take a pass..." "fine with me" said the SW, smiling. CP was really freaked out. he left the mud-hut and went to the local pub. a happy place, but no alcoholic beverages were served or else the inhabitants might not be happy. CP was still pondering over who made the sign at the entrance when a waitress came over and asked him if he wanted anything. it was a female CP! (process that, then continue) CP fell immediatwly in love. "I want you," he replied. she didn't repond. "How's dinner, 8 tonight, right here!" "Uh...sure," of course, CP's miscalculation was that the only emotion she could feel was happiness, not even love. i mena, what kind fo place was this??

The two met at eight that night and talked of happy things and ate. both went home satisfied, except CP's home was a little mud hut they resvered for "visitors". there was this guy in a straightjacket in the corner, shivering and muttering to himself. CP never bothered with him, as he figured the others did.

### Day 2

CP awoke to the sunny morning and went outside. he glanced at the sun and swore it was smiling as well. CP stretched and headed over to the SW's place. he went inside and the SW was sleeping on a straw bed. CP decimated everyone around him and then approached the bed. he took out a needle and filled it with poison. it was just as he was about to pierce the skin that the SW woke up. he was momentarily shocked that everyone was dead, so CP took the chance and shot him with the fluid. the SW's reactions were quick and he flung CP against, no wait, through the wall and he landed upon the dusty ground. but he had succeeded. the poison had entered his system and was slowly working. he got up and tried to run, btu his vision was blurring and he swerved everywhere. he was strong, and thus the poison was more than usually slow-acting. but an very fraction before the SW would have killed CP, the poison finished its work. the Supreme Wimple fell to the ground, his face emotionless. CP went around him and searched the whole hut. the paper only said they had ten days to find it, it didn't say they needed every minute. CP soon found his piece and was transported back to the clearing.

## Chapter 12

### Pokémaster Ian - Day 7

Pokémaster Ian awoke in the middle of a duck. He said "Wednesday", and it ran away in fright. Now, he was in a large water (no grammar error). He drank it all and continued. The Supreme Wimple was RIGHT THERE! He was ready to fight it, kung-fooooo style. \*theme from TMNT plays\* Ian just picked up a large sock. He threw it at the Supreme Wimple, and SW made it dissasserperate-ate. This was harder than he thought. SW started flinging cranberry Jello all over, purpously missing Ian. the whole room was now very slippery and sticky at the same time. Ian tried to run toward SW, but he slipped and fell on his ... face. SW said "NOW you have truely bit!" and jumped right on Ian. However, Ian found a plot devise and used it to escape. Ian body slammed the Supreme Wimple and started humping it. SW was ready for this, so he turned inside out and captured Ian inside. Ian had no way to escape. Luckily, SW had a very sore inside, and his inside (on the outside) hurt when touching the cranberry Jello. SW was almost defeated, when Ian somehow came out SW's arse and started wailing on him barnyard style. He used moves from kung-foo, ming chow, ling hoy, inga pinga, and egg roll to beat the crap out of SW. the Supreme Wimple was defeated! Wait, what was that? Random guy: "gosh!" CP came roaring out of the ground HADHAD-style. (I refuse to stop saying that) Ian said "Wha hello der, what are you doing here?" CP didn't know. they soon learned that even though Bowser was defeated, he was STILL not defeated. To defeat the Bowser which was not defeated, they had to defeat him. They did. The End.

## Chapter 13

### Junspinar - Day 5

Junspinar desperately tried to figer out what to do. suddenly the house imploded around him and he was left lying on the ground. he got up, and now there was a sign tacked to the tree. it said "Willkommen zum gelegentlichen Ort von Wieeerbyness!" and Junspinar was afraid of the talking sign and ran away. after many hours, or what would be hours in the real world, he ran in no real direction. a random shape came flying at him, and he jumped on it. he hopped off the shape and laanded on the ground, where right in front of him were the rest of the rocket pieces. he assembled it and got on. it carried him all the way to the moon, but right before he reached the moon, it turned into a morphing cloud of smoke, always chaging shape and color. he went around looking for a door. he was unsuccessful, but he was about to leave when he just got sucked up into it. he came flying through a perfectly solid wall in a cube-shaped chamber. the rocket was gone. a small animal came up to him and he tried to pet it, but it grew to four, then ten times as large and then kept growing until it burst through the ceiling. the ceiling began to cave in and Junspinar was losing Time quickly. (Time is what he named the animal). he searched and searched for a way put, but found none. just as he was about to be buried alive, a doorway appeared and he spilled into a perfectly round chamber. he looked back, but there was no doorway. the room convulsed and decided now that it wanted to be triangular. a giant brick fell out of the ceiling and even before it hit the ground, it turned into a muffin. Junspinar went to the muffin and accidently stepped on it. he went flying about a million miles upwards (well, not really) and then landed on a passing duck. it turned into a cloud and he fell through and into a hole in the ground of another chamber. he was now in a pipe, sliding down until it made a sharp turn and he tumbled to a stop. he was in like an air duct thing, and there was a grate ahead. he looked through. there was the Supreme Wimple, trying not to look disgusted, confused, and scared at the same time. he sat upon an ever-changing throne, and he almost fell off it when it turned into a lizard. Junspinar didn't realize that time was always changing here. it was the Eleventh day for a second, then the second. Junspinar jumped up and pierced through the grate with his tail and fell down. he hit the hard floor and got up. the Supreme Wimple yelled "sieze him!" but then all his guard things turned into pillars. Junspinar used Drill Press andm ade a hole in the SW. but then the hole turned into a spear and SW slashed at Jun. he got a few cuts, but then the spear turned into a snake and began attacking the SW. he ran away in fear, the snake chasing him. there were no ways to leave the room, though, so he had to blast it. during all this, Junspinar charged up his new move, the Antenna Blast. his Antenna began to glow, and then it fired a huge multi-colored beam straight at the SW. but an instant b4 the beam hit the SW, it turned into some "juice." then after a bit the SW's laughs turned into screams when he realized it was actually acid. he melted to the ground, and Junspinar was sucked through a wormhole.

## Chapter 14

### Yukronsky - Day 5

The Castle just.... dissapeared while he was sleeping. He was now in a random house. He left the house, and there was a sign that said "Go to Island Place! Just go to the dock." He saw the dock not far off. He went towards it, but there was a sign that said "Red and Waffles = good", and it was SO dumb he threw it in a garbage can. Suddenly, a black hole the exact size and shape of the can appeared, and sucked up the can and then imploded. Yukronsky went to the dock, and there was a ship. NOBODY was on it but Yukronsky. He rode the ship about a foot to Island Place. On island place, he looked around and for some reason he couldn't see the land he came from. On the island, there was a hotel that contained 100 mimes, and a volcano. They all went in the volcano, but a tornado picked it up and threw it around the world, dropping it back on Island Place. It was 100,000 years in the past. There were natives there, and the worshipped the volcano, but it erupted and killed them all. Out of pity, all the mimes started to cry, but the volcano killed them too. Yukronsky got in the volcano, and it threw him 100,000 years into the future back on Island Place. He got out, and all the stupid mimes were back. Yukronsky ordered a pizza, and somehow the delivery truck came to Island Place. Yukronsky and all 100 mimes somehow piled into the back of the truck and rode back to main land. They got out, and the mimes ran off. Yukronsky decided to go back. On the way, a black hole appeared and spit out the sign that said "Red and Waffles = good." A local girl came up and kept it as a pet. It suddenly became night, and he aceived NOTHING.

### Yukronsky - Day 6

Yukronsky was now back in The Castle of Time, in the throne room. The Supreme Wimple was RIGHT there. Suddenly, CP, Ian, and Junspinar appeared out of nowhere, and said they destroyed their SW's in the near future. SW split up into 4. this was going to be weird. They all used a long range attack on their SW, and the SWs returned them with a reflector. The companions refected them back again, and they shot back and forth for a while. SW 1 and 4 got hit, along with CP and Ian. All 4 died. (actually, the SWs dissappeared and CP and Ian were transported away) Junspinar and Yukronsky joined up, while the Supreme Wimples combined into a huge one. Yukronsky flew up, and Junspinar started a Tail Drill attack. The SW was too dumb to fly up, so it just sort of stood there, firing beams and missing badly. Yukronsky plummeted and the tail dril made a perfect hole in the middle of Supreme Wimple. Yuk then shot the inside of the welt with ice, to make it buuuuurn. SW split in two pieces, and the bottom half imploded. The front half grew legs, and scurried around like a lunitic. Stupidly, is an adverb. Stupidly, it ran into a wall and fell back. Taking advantage of this, they split up and started bombarding it until it died. Then the Caslte melted into the ground. and the Companions teleported elsewhere. 4 SWs down, 3 to go.

## Chapter 15

### Bargo - Day 3

Bargo awoke to a new day. he stretched and began another long journey up the mountain. a little machine thing came up and said that milk is a good source of CALCIUM. then it shuddered and died. Bargo poured some juice on it and it came back to life. in its machine voice it said, "How may i be of service?" so Bargo asked for an ice cream cone. it made on and gave it to him. immediately they became friends. Bargo found he could put the thing on his back and shoot stuff with it. after a fairly better rest of the day of walking, Bargo settled down to sleep. the machine protected him all night.

### Bargo - Day 4

Bargo was moving along, destroying thins in his path with the machine. it was a pretty good day, and he was getting ever closer to the top of the mountain. suddenly ,a portal opened up beside him. something and a whole bunch of water and some fish poured out of it before it closed. Bargo had just glimpsed some dark things before it closed up. the machine trapped all the water inside itself for later use. Bargo rushed over to see what the thing was. he was so surprised he almost fell over, but he didn't. it was Granpappy Bikdip! he was very near death, habving just fought off exactly 21 sharks. he was cut all over and bruised and he was bloated from water. Bargo squeezed the water out of him and soaked a towel with it. he treated Bikdip's wounds with it. then he made Granpappy rest, but he was forced to stay with him. the rest of the day and a day more passed...

### Bargo - Day 6-8

Granpappy Bikdip was finally ready to travel with Bargo. the water from the machine kept the two alive and it killed many fire-based enemies. Granpappy Bikdip slowly got even better until he even fought off some of his own enemies. they traveled the next couple of days, until they could finally some sort of shining light up ahead. as he was looking at it, Granpappy Bikdip stepped on a button. as Bargo watched, the sun moved extremely quikly down over the horizon, plunging them into darkness. the moon never came. after a bit of slow walking ,the two noticed that the blackness even covered the light that they saw ahead. many hours they walked, until somehow Bargo managed to step on the only, tiny-sized button that made the light come back. like syrup the light slowly poured onto the mountain. the twilight was bright to them after the darkness, and they found that they were only feet from the light. it was a beam of light going from a yellow spot on the ground infinately up. they stood in it and...nothing happened. Bargo turned around, dismayed, and looked at the top of the red sun. a flash of light blinded them and they were suddenly in the SW's chamber.

### Bargo - Day 9

the two from the Bargo series faced the SW. he looked very confident sitting on his throne. "As you probably havn't noticed at all," began the SW, " i have made a field around this entire place preventing your friends to come to your aid. it seems you'll have to face me with just the two of you." With that, he flungofff his cape end rose into the air. Granpappy Bikdip flung himself at him and brought him to the ground. they were locked in an eternal battle. well, maybe not eternal. Granpappy bikdip lowered the SW's power by almost half before his final attempt to bring down the SW. there was a flash of light and Granpappy Bikdip was no more. taking the initiative, Bargo in his anger brought down the SW and delivered the final blow by shooting the SW with some water from the machine and the SW died upon his own throne. the Supreme Wimple melted into a pile of purple goop and the goop got sucked into the throne. Bargo was transported away...

## Chapter 16

### Shmœg'nhœg'n - Day 5

He thought he was ready for anything, but not quite. As Shmœg'nhœg'n walked down a long hall, the hall slowly began to smash together. He ran down, and darts shot out of the walls ... really high up. They helped NOTHING. He was trying to escape, when suddenly a big freaking boulder rolled after him. The people who made this temple were very stupid, because all it did was get stuck, making both the walls and itself useless. He then partook upon traversing down the corridor. When he got out, he was in a big-ass room with a 3-D map thingy in the middle. It showed the ocean floor, and there was this temple sticking up from it. There was a laser above it. Then he noticed the recepticle in the wall, which was shaped like a little snake. He figured this would activate the laser, but he didn't have anything like that snake, nor did he see anything like it on the way here. There was a brick missing in the wall though, and he looked in it and saw the snake behind an indestructable window. There was another group of bricks missing in the corner, and it was big enough for Shmœg'nhœg'n to fit in. He crawled in, and there was a puzzle room in here. He had to light all the torches before the ceiling fell, and one was already lit. He picked up a random Deku stick and lit them all, which made a wall open up. He went in there, and got the snake. Before the freaking celing came all the way down, he had to dash out of the previous room and into the one with the map. He barely made it. He stuck the snake in the wall, and the laser blew up the model. Inside was another part of the amulet thing. Now he only needed one piece.

### Shmœg'nhœg'n - Day 6

What the heck? Time seemed to be going by faster now. Ignoring this, Shmœg'nhœg'n went out the other door in the room and found one last puzzle. The piece of the amulet was floating in the middle of the room, in the middle of a strange light. He had no clue what would happen if he touched the light, but it was probably bad. He threw a random object at it, and the piece came out of the light and started to fly away really quickly. He followed it down a hallway, where it shot around like an insane ... thing and bounced off walls. He tried to follow it, but it was far too fast. He tried ete beaming it, but they missed and he figured it would damage it anyway. Instead, he hit it with water blasts and it fell down and he dove after it. He grabbed it off the ground, when suddenly the whole temple was falling apart. The ground tore open and an extremely powerful gust pushed him down, no matter how hard he tried to fly. He put the piece with the others, and then dissapeared in a flash of light seconds before hitting the ground.

### Shmœg'nhœg'n - Day ?

The Supreme Wimple was in front of Shmœg'nhœg'n. For no reason at all, he just dissapeared and Shmœg'nhœg'n started getting beat up from behind. The amulet opened up a glass center, and he looked through it. Now he could see the Supreme Wimple. He tried fighting it off, but SW was way too strong. The amulet then said in a retarted voice, "Fire Smack!" and made the SW get hit by a wall of fire. Shmœg'nhœg'n said "Thunderbolt!" but nothing happened. The amulet shouted out "Thunderbite" and that made SW get shocked by electricity. Shmœg'nhœg'n blasted him with water to make the electricity worse and then told the amulet to freeze him. It said "Ice Breeze" and then he did. Shmœg'nhœg'n used Fire Smack to melt the ice, and then started pummelling Supreme Wimple. With all of his beating and the amulet's occasional spell, SW was no match and died. Shmœg'nhœg'n then made a victorious pose, and teleported along with the others. only HADHAD has not succeeded yet, but he probably will soon enough.

## Chapter 17

### HADHAD - Day 3

HADHAD died! THE END.

...ok seriously. HADHAD strolled on, getting cooked by the heat, until he reached an oasis. now im not exactly sure what an oasis is, so...he had fun there. then he left, but before he left, he put some water in a jar. then he left back into the firey pit of despair . random rocks were melting as he moved slowly but surely on. he took a small drink of the water, but a single drip fell down and touched the ground. it was soaked up and the ground began to crack all over the place. pieces were falling away and cracks were everywhere . then the ground actually did fall away into a firey pit of despair . now i didnt say it was bottomless, tho. he fell hard upon the thirsty ground. he got up and looked around, and--was that the Supreme Wimple? no, it couldnt be...probably just a mirage. he rubbed his eyes and opened them again, but now it was closer! "...he-hello?... " he called, but no reply came. the thing came up by him and suddenly he was swept away as he was bieng carried off, he wondered how he hadnt noticed how hot it was before. he passed into darkness, and a few hours later he was set down on somethign soft and a dim light was turned on.

### HADHAD - Day 4

he looked at his captor, and to his surprise, it was a Wimple. but this one was a shiny blue color. "I am the sworn enemy of the Supreme Wimple of this area. Nice to meet you." they shook hands. "Why did you save me?" asked HADHAD. "You would have surely died in that heat, or possibly killed yourself. i had to save you." he replied. "Well...thanx " "You must have had soem water if you made the ground swallow you like that." "as a matter of fact, i do..." "GIVE me now!" said the Wimple and reached for it. HADHAD pulled away. "Oh...sorry...my bad ..." said the Wimple and drew back. HADHAD figured he didnt get very much water, so he gave him some. the wimple thanked him. "So what brings you to these parts?" he asked. "um...im on a journey." "For what?" "To destroy the Supreme Wimple!" "Really now? Need some help?" "It would be greatly appreciated." "Well, what are we waiting for? with your help i might finally be able to destroy my mortal enemy. i know an easy way there. follow me!" on the way through the dank, dark passages, it got very boring with all the time it was taking. The Wimple explained this Supreme Wimple's weaknesses, and there was even enough time for HADHAD to tell of all his journeying. in fact, it was so long that it was the next day that they finally reached something.

### HADHAD - Day 5

there were some crappy two-by-fours nailed badly to cover a small entrance. the Wimple punched them lightly and they fell to a pile of dust. next the passage got a bit larger and easier to move through and there was a door, this time wood and metal. HADHAD kicked it down and they moved on. now it was easy to move about in he widening tunnel. they reached a metal door with a card access slide machine htingy next to it. HADHAD melted it and the Wimple froze the parts left melting, thus making htme break. they moved on. ahead there were two guard Kezs in front of a heavily bolted iron door. there was a short brawl before the Kezs lay unconscious or dead, who knew. Wimple fire a bright blast through the door and they stepped through the hole. now they were in a brightly lit room with a tile floor. there was another access panel and the Wimple simply needed to enter a well-memorized code to go on. now they were going through a rising metal-coated tunnel that slowly got steeper and steeper until it went straight up! HADHAD hopped on the Wimple and it hovered up to the trapdoor at the top. HADHAD opened it and they emerged into a main tunnel. they got out and closed the door and it blended perfectly with the floor. they quickly darted accross the hall and into a door. they were in a very small room it seemed. The Wimple pressed a button on the wall and then the room moved upwards! HADHAD almost fell over. it suddenly stopped and a door on the other side of the room opened. they entered the chamber of the Supreme Wimple.

### HADHAD - The Final Battle

"So, you've come to try again, have you?" drawled the SW. HADHAD stepped out from behind the Wimple. "OH, and i see youve brought soem backup this time, how lovely." "Quit the chit-chat adn lets go!" The Wimple shot at the SW, but he was not fast enough. the SW disappeared and reappeared behind HADHAD. HADHAD narrowly dodged a blow from behind, but spun around and landed a hit himself. they were soon locked in a fast-moving brawl. the Wimple appeared above them and fell on top of the SW. HADHAD took the chance to use a Fire Bite and bit him on the leg. he screamed and writhed in pain from this, blisters popping up on his leg. ...wow, he must hate fire or something. the SW threw the Wimple off him in his rage and turned to face HADHAD. but he wasnt there! suddenly he was scroched from behind. but it only really scared him and gave him a little black spot. maybe we were wrong. the SW leaped at HADHAD in his surprise and took him down. The Wimple came and knocked him over from behind again. The Wimple shot a beam at HADHAD and he was suddenly healed. he jumped on top of the SW and bit him. the SW screamed again an there was a bloody mark from his small bite. so it was the bite, not the fire! "hold me off" whispered the Wimple and he moved int oa corner. HADHAD had a split second to see him start to meditate before the SW began his won barrage they fought for a while, HADHAD wondering what The Wimple could be doing. in fact, the Wimple was gathering energy from all parts of the earth: mountain, forest, swamp, plain, and ocean. he gathered from all living creatures on the planet. he gathered all this into a single ball and formed it in his hand. as he did this, he supressed his excitement in having time to do all this. as HADHAD repeatedly bit the SW, The Wimple finally gave the signal. HADHAD gave up and the SW foolishly tried to get up and win this little fight. HADHAD saw The Wimple holding a small, light-blue ball of energy and light. he chucked it at the SW as he stood and there was a blinding flash of light. a huge force pushed HADHAD against the wall. when the light was soon gone, there was nothing in the room except HADHAD and the Wimple. the Supreme Wimple of that place never existed again. HADHAD only had a short time for a thanx and goodbye before he was whisked away.

all the Companions appeared back in the forest clearing. all were weary, but glad to see each other again. all tey wanted to do was rest...so, they did. when they woke up, they weren't sure what to do with their sharpened skills. then somehtign surprising happened....

## Chapter 18

### THE CHAMBER OF SAGES

All the Companions appeared in the chamber of Sages. There were 6 medallions on the floor, and three golden triangles connected at the corners. They were on a floating platform in what seemed to be a blue void. A strange man stepped forth out of the [noun] and began to speak. "Are you the brave souls who defeated the seven Supreme Wimples?" They nodded. "Ok, never mind. I was looking for a guy named Link." He then teleported them into a big heap in the exact forest clearing where they found the note that told them their fate. "Bleegyow. My head hoits!", said a random voice. Yukronsky asked who the hell just spoke and HADHAD raised his hand. "why the heck did you say that?" "What? I didn't." "Then why did you raise your hand?" "OH! I dunno." But then a Weaklo came out of the bushes and zipped up his ...tooth. He said all the companions now must have distinct personalities, or else the fanfic wil fail even more than it is. "Spherio!" "My name is Bargo." "Suuuuure it is. From now on, you will be obsessed with video games. Yukronsky, you are a nerd. Junspinar, you are the dumbass and comic relief. HADHAD, you are the weird guy. Ian, you can stay the way you are. CP, you are the normal guy, and Shmœg'nhœg'n is the serious one. OHIO!!!!" then there was a poof. They all suddenly had their own stereotyped personalities. Bargo ran off to play Classic Assorted 2 on the GameTriangle that he just suddenly had. The rest just died. (don't worry, they'll be back someday.) This now concludes this very short chapter.

## Chapter 19

Bargo popped the sphere-shaped game into the GameTriangle and the Classic Assorted 2 screen came up on his floating television. he selected {new file} and began playing. it was pretty boring for a while, but i should probably explain the game first.

~~!@#^\*&%(&\*^#$^@$\*)^& Classic Assorted 2

There is no 1. And lets be obvious, its supposed to be a crappy rip-off of Metroid Prime. the game is compatible with Classic Assorted: CAUTION for the GayBoy Better. The main character is a genderless dude named Sam Us. i will refer to him as a him. he has a football helmet capable of taking different visors, and a mechanic plate on the end of his arm capable of taking different Arm Lazor Beems. he starts out with nothing but tights on, but he gains more outfits, beems, and visors, as well as other items, throughout the game. he must also collect 12 artifacts. ~~!!$^$^&#$\*)\*\*$%#@#$%^&

Meanwhile, Yukronsky is studying Calculus and Junspinar is repeatedly holding onto the prongs of plugs and putting them into electrical sockets. CP stares in horror as Ian gets it on with...himself. now, back to CA2. Sam appears in a random little forest in the middle of nowhere. it is very cold and wet, and he only has a football helmet and tights on. he goes in search of something else, only succeeding in finally getting out of the little forest. he looks all around in this great expanse, and finally looks up. theres a little thing floating about 500 ft. in the air slowly rotating. it sorta looks like a happy face...

## Chapter 20

Practiclly naked and completely unarmed, Sam walks around looking for a plot devise. He wandered over to a little meadow, where there were some Rocks, Sticks, Seeds, and random objects laying around. SHLOOP! went the shlooping thing behind him, and a cut-scene began.

A funky little Chinese Guy came up to him from behind. "Ah, so thees is Sahm. Very good big time, no? Ah-ah-ah, no ask questions, I am here to help you! No, doon't give me that look you gave me there... the look....which you gave me. Here, I have somethin foh you!" He then gave Sam a plastic thing. "What in the blue heXX (the word was edited out, this is a game meant for very young people) is it?" "It is the CLEAR VISOR. You can use it to target onto things. Put it in your helmet." He did. "Now, target onto some of these items." He did. "Well, what are you waiting for?" "You didn't want me to do anything." "Ok, well here, I'll teach you how to backflip." So he did. "How will this help me?" "It won't. haha." He then scrunched into a ball and bounced away. Using his new CLEAR VISOR, he looked around for something else. Soon enough, he found the Chinese man again. "Uh, hi. Here's your POWERFUL BEAM. You can shoot junk with it. I'm not in the mood to act dumb any more. Actually, I'm not even Chinese. I'm from Croatia. Bye." So, after the extremely short speech, Sam left again. He practiced using his POWERFUL BEAM on some harmless wildlife, and it was actually a decent weapon. He heard a funky buzzing noise coming from the middle of a forest, and (of course) he went to see what it was. In the EXACT middle, there was a hole with a Spherio in it. He got it, and suddenly turned into a Spherio. The message "You got the SPHERIO BALL!" appeared. "Press K to turn into the Shperio, and then you can roll around and go in holes. Press H to puke up a bomb, which you can use as a weapon as to do a small hop." Then the chapter abruptly ende-

## Chapter 21

d. Suddenly, the plot burst into flames, but i was able to retrieve some of it before it was completely incinerated. Ok, lets try and continue here. Bargo was playing.....Metroid Prime on a rather usual and boring Saturday afternoon. He was attempting to get another missile expansion in Phendrana's Edge and finally scceeded. he went into morph ball mode and rolled out. Suddenly, the game started malfunctioning. "Oh no, what's happening?" cried Bargo. the screen started flashing bright colors and Bargo was suddenly sucked right into the screen. his controller fell to the ground. Bargo came rushing forward and had only a split second to realise anything before he went careening off the snowy ledge. spinning as he fell, Bargo was suddenly jerked to a halt as he caught on a spiky thing hanging from another ledge. he looked up and couldn't believe his eyes. It was a grapple beam point! right after he realized this, his skin tore and he fell again. He was winded as he landed on somehting large moving in the opposite direction than him: up. he heard a loud motor in his ear and some frantic jibberish. he opened his eyes and almost pissed himself. Now he was on top of a Flying Pirate! the impact of Bargo hitting him had caused the Flying Pirate's backpack to malfunction and he was screaming to the other Pirate to help him. the other one approached, but just as he was about ready, the jetpck flew in a random direction very quickly and Bargo was flung off through the air yet again. as he descended this time, though, he had time to think and was able to grab onto another ledge. he hung by one nonexistent arm and looked down. he saw the pieces of snow and ice falling much farther down. he looked back up and grabbed on with both hands. he hauled himself up and sat down on the ledge, backing up against the wall. he suddenly got a small electric charge from behind and swirled around. oh no he thought, a Wave Beam door. i don't have a wave beam! Bargo looked back up and spotted that Flying Pirate. he was getting ready to fire! Bargo had just enough time to roll to the side as the energy came smashing into the rock side. Bargo heard missiles coming and had no choice. He would have to jump. He backed up, ran, and jumped right as he reached the edge of the ledge. the missiles came smashing into the wall where he had just been. he landed on something and rolled. he stopped and looked back as a few pieces of debris came and sliced his flesh. the pirate that had fired was still there, charging up for another shot. the first Flying Pirate had been killed when he flew off and smashed into a wall. thinking quickly, Bargo spotted a nearby narrow passageway just big enough for him to fit into and squeezed in. the missile and blast fire hit the wall beside him. so he was safe for a little while. he inched along in the passageway and came to a small step. he jumped up and managed to get up on top and continued through this passage until the end. he dashed out of it, didn't realize it was so short at the end of the platform, and plunged down yet again. this time nothing stood in his way. he fell all the way down until he plunged into icy cold water. out of nowhere, a blast of energy from the Flying Pirate flew past Bargo under water. he watched and saw that it hit an underwater door and unlocked it. with all his speed, Bargo swam over to the door and managed to reach it just in time. he went through the door and a few missiles hit the door on the other side as it closed behind him. Bargo wet up for air and found he could get out onto a small island. As he shook himself off, it seemed Bargo would be stuck in the world of Metroid Prime for a very long time...

## Chapter 22

Or MAYBE NOT! HEEEEEHEEEEHEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

THIS CHAPTER IS IN CAPS LICK \*SPELLED RIGHT\* AND WILL STAY THAT WAY UNTIL 5:49. BARGO WAS STUCK IN THE PHENDRANA DRIFTS, AND WITH NO ACTUAL WEAPONS IT WAS HARD TO DO ANYTHING. HE WENT OVER TO SOME WALL, AND THEN IT JUST RANDOMLY EXPLODED AND LED HIM TO THe Tallon Overworld. He was in the Great Tree Hall to be exact. A plot devise launched him up to the little opening that led him to the X-ray visor, so he went in and got it. It was right. there. then the Caps Lock will come back at 5:53. He was surrounded by walls, which felt like dissapearing at that moment. He went past one, and there was a little place with a waterfall and rocky walls. He tried to get out, but a bunch of Chozo Ghosts attacked! Jiminy! THE STUPID CAPS LOCK IS BACK, WHICH WAS KICKED BY A CHOZO GHOST AND CHANGED TO normal. The rest of the chapter will continue this way. It will also be more detailed to the request of GL. There were about 4 transparent white figures around him, and Bargo was nearly defenseless. However, he was able to eat them all somehow, and they were gone. That technique may become useful later. Anyway, the ghosts he ate gave him the power to teleport, which was awesome-ne55. He used the new power to teleport out of the room, but he didn't know how to use it properly and teleported straight into a room with several wave troopers in it. They were much stronger than him, so he hid behind a box in a little nook of the room. There was a wave trooper hanging on the roof near him, waiting for an ambush. Bargo lept (somehow) up and ate the trooper in one bite. A purple dot then appeared on his side, and he could now shoot wave beams out of his mouth. For some reason, he could no longer teleport now. Utalising this new weapon, he went down the beding hallway and blasted all the troopers and destructable wall things, until he found a Mega Turret. It shot at Bargo, who barely dodged it just in time. He was able to shoot it a few times and the electric current shorted it out, making it shoot a big 'ol blast at the ice beam door, which opened a hole in the middle of it. It also managed to hit a Power Trooper and a large glass tank in the next room. Jiminy! (I gotta stop saying that) Bargo went through and ate the power trooper (giving him the power beam), when the glass tank thing completely exploded. A huge Elite Pirate came out of it! Bargo couldn't eat this one, so he tried to beat it like Samus would. He backed away from it, and when it used an earthquake attack he jumped over it and shot the 1337 pirate with a bunch of power beam shots. At this rate, it would take a very long time, so he just ...left it down there and went up a few levels. At the top was an Ice Trooper that he ate and some more Mega Turrets that he froze and then easily destroyed. Up here there also happened to be a big-ass gun attached to the ceiling. Looking around at the rocky walls, he saw an opening with a computer. It said something about the Spinner nearby. Bargo went in the Spinner and rolled around really fast. It positioned the gun so it would shoot straight down. He wave beamed the spinner and the gun shot down, THROUGH the floor and hit the Elite Pirate, instantly killing it. A missle expansion appeared down there, which he grabbed and gave him the power to puke up missles.

## Chapter 23

He got back up to the top of this room and continued on. he was going from room to room, not really achieving much. he was going downa very slow elevator when he got bored and decided to teleport again. this time he sort of got how to use it, but still failed in using it properly. he went slightly forward in the Phazon mines and then sort of froze there for a second, trying to control his power. a confuzed Plasma Trooper rushed over to this odd site but was swept up in the whirlwind of ghostly power. the two were then whisked off and landed on the roof of a ruined building in Ice Ruins West. Bargo was just bruised, but the Plasma Trooper was too heavy and crashed through the ceiling and smashed to the floor, which broke his neck and killed him. a melted ring of water surrounded him. Bargo jumped down and quickly swallowed the pirate, achieving his final beam. he heard somehting behind him and whipped around. it was a Baby Sheegoth shrieking at him, so he fired a shot at it and he was still equipped to Plasma Beam. for some reason, it melted and died immediately. Bargo wanted to get bakc to the boring elevator, so he tried transporting again. he sort of got it right; at least he was in the same area. he appeared in mid-air and fell, but he fell right onto the...grapple beam. he got a blue square on him, indicating he could shoot the grapple beam out of his eye. he left the room and attached the grapple beam to a grapple point. he swung around for a little while until he saw a door. there was a Trooper in the way, but he froze it and went past. he got back to the Large Laser room and finally back to the elevator. after getting off, he continued through the Phazon Mines, using his new Grapple Beam to avoid Phazon. At one scary moment, a Metroid came flying at him, but he just hissed at it and it flew away for some reason. after jumping off numerous mushrooms and flying over much Phazon, Bargo reached the end of a room. He saw a door and went through it. there was a little contraption with a platofrm and a light shining on it. he stepped onto it and immediatly his energy was refreshed! feeling a bit better, Bargo continued. he had picked up a couple missile expansions and two missile Combos on his journey. he went up a ramp, but it was so dark he had to use his X-Ray visor. he reached a Plasma Beam door and opened it. there was...one Plasma Trooper in the next room and then a frozen door. Bargo melted it and cautiously entered the next room. it was a large arena with a titanic chamber on the other side. going around the room, Bargo also found an elevator, but it was offline. he walked up to the chamber and peered curiously at the contents. he realised the horror just before it broke out. a massive, gigantic cyborg emitting a powerful aura stood before him, stretching it aching limbs. it did not look happy. Bargo rolled quickly to the side, avoiding two huge bombs that took out small pieces of the floor. he stayed focused on the enemy, and then a huge wave of energy rushed otu of it. Bargo leaped up in time to avoid it and took the chance to shoot one of the Phazon capsules on his arm with the Plasma Beam. it seemed to hurt it a bit. so when he jumped up over another wave, he tried this time to draw the power of the Power Beam and a missile together and puked the combination out as one. htis time the combo got rid of the whole Phazon capsule. he did this a few more times and then the huge Pirate disappeared. he started to look for it when he noticed some Troopers. he ate them quickly and instinctively switched to the X-ray visor. he saw the Pirate now, crouching agaisnt the wall. he shot it with some more missile combos and it reappeared, half its life power gone. Bargo repeated what he had done before, but one time after avoiding a wave of energy, he landed in a pool of Phazon. his energy was drained so quickly he barely had time to escape the pool with any of his life. he struggled to his "feet" and noticed that the Omega Pirate was chuckling at his puny adversary. he shot out another wave of energy, but Bargo leaped over it and gave him another super missile. he dissappeared again and Barog ate soem more troopers. he switched to X-ray and spotted his foe. he drew upon the power of every single beam in his inventory and every single missile left. he combined them all into a Mega-Super-Platinum-Almighty-Beam-of-Doom and fired it at the Omega Pirate. Bargo was flung against the rock wall from the recoil and fell to the ground. a mighty noise was heard and Bargo looked up slowly in pain. the Omega Pirate came slowly back into regualr view, glitching out until finally, his Phazon capsules exploded and he fell to the ground with an almighty crash. Bargo dragged himself over to his defeated opponent and it seemed to melt before his eyes. the liquid flowed into hima nd around his body, making a brand-new Phazon Suit. Bargo borught himself over to the now functioning elevator and got on it. it moved up and it got lighter until it was perfectly white and Barog passed into another state of consciousness...

## Chapter 24

Bargo (aka: Comma) woke up in the middle of a field. He realised that he was now in a glass helmet that fit over his whole body, seeing as how he had no head. He took off the stupid "helmet", but then realised he could not breathe. The planet he was on contained Oxygen, a strange gas that he could not breathe. Behind him was a recked version of the spaceship he had on his trip to the moon. Comma (eg. bustle) then looked around at the huge plants all around him. Even the sand that made up the ground seemed rediculously huge. He was walking around when he saw some weird tablet things with numbers on them, with the largest being a 5. he then saw a random lump with a flower growing out of it. He went over to it and it popped up, growing legs and shooting a seed into the ground. After a while the seed grew a leaf and glew. (past tense of glow) He pulled it out and there was a little red dude with a leaf on its head and a big nose. He named it bustle. (aka: bustle) and decided that his new name would be Bargo, instead of Comma. The ship thing that bustle came from is now called a "Tomato".

a little while later, he put the pellets in the ship by having the bustle carry them and then new bustles came. They moved a box, and behind it was more pellets, making 25 Bustles total. there was also, conviniently, an engine for his ship, the "Porpoise". He put it on and blasted off the planet with the Tomato. Before he could go "home", he had to get 29 more pieces of the ship in, coincidentally, 29 days.

The next day he did some stuff and like so yeah and then he saw some really big bugs and stuff and he got some more red Bustles and some yellow ones and 3 more rocket pieces, and yeah so then he blasted off with the Tomato again.

## Chapter 25

Since i know nothing of Pikmin, this shall be very short. Bargo and the "bustles" he was slowly growing were doing okay. he had found he could make three different kinds of the bustles, and they each did different things. so Bargo and the bustles went out one day for a stroll and met a giant....bug thing. Thinking quickly, Bargo ordered some of the yellow bustles at it. it tried to eat them, but they exploded. it died and now Bargo had another rocket piece and also a large pellet nearby. the next days were very similar to this one, until Barog woke on the 28th day. he looked at his wa--....wait no....um... he looked at...the sun! and was surprised to find he only had about two days left. luckily, by now he had gone far and was missing only one vital rocket piece: the engine. he sent a group of bustles to find some more pellets. he sent another group to find some enemies. and the rest he didn't do anyhting with. he took a nap, and about four hours later, the first group returned with five pellets! he didnt know where they found them all, but he used them and got tons more bustles. now his army was being cranked out. he laughed wickedly like an evil mastermind. the other group had found o group of enemies, so Bargo took some red and some yellow bustles to go kill them. he did kill a couple victims, and returned with yet more pellets! now his army would be complete for his final assualt tomorrow he had found a giant opponent, btu was always to afraid to face it. now he was sure that thing wa shte key to the final rocket piece. he spent the rest of the day planning it. he decided to try and use the yellow bustles like that one battle with the bug thing. then he would throw his division of reds at it. there was no way to lose...was there? a new day dawned and he gathered his troops. he prepared tham and marched proudly into battle. it was actually pretty easy: all he had to do was get the fatass to eat the yellow ones, and then once it was paralyzed for a bit, he would throw the Red ones at it. the battle went smoothly and just as planned and sure enough, when his antagonist was defeated, his rocket's engine was right there. he installed it and waved goodbye to all his beloved bustles. he would miss them. he fired up the ship and blasted off. it was long journey home and so Bargo decided to take a rest. he layed down and fell asleep.

Bargo awoke and stretched his "limbs." he yawned and got out of bed. it was a sunny day outside, and--wait a second! why was he not on the ship? He ran to the window and looked out. he took one look and puked all over the place. he looked down and he had vomited on some sort of shitty-ass model of the Master Sword. he looked around and almost fainted. Everything here was so crappy! his bed, on second glance was JUST large enough for him to fit in. he opened the door and looked at the ground. it didnt look real in any way. he looked at his clothing and it was made of some crappy plaid design. there seemed to be a small dancing robot on one side of his tiny house and a mailbox on the other. he checked the mailbox and he had two letters. he read them, and he had never heard of the people. but there was also a thrid unmarked letter. it read,

Dear Mr. Bargo,

We are sorry to take you through all these trials, but we assure you it is for your own good. Just to give you a hint about what to acconplish in this place is that you have to find a Samurai Suit. this is all we can tell you for now. You might be able to get some more hints from the townspeople. Good Luck! Sincerely,

X

Bargo ate the letter. He walked a little ways and found another house. he knocked on the door and...a duck came out. What...the...heck?, he thought. it had a helmet on. it started talkign extremely quickly and quietly and Bargo couldn't understand a word, so he left. on the sign in the clearing near his house, it said "Animal Crossing Message Board." it had a few pieces of paper with notices. Bargo hated this place far more than any of the others so far.

## Chapter 26

Ok, so now Bargo was in an Animal Crossing town named Kakariko, after the Zelda town. He had to find the Samurai Suit for reasons unknown, and had no clue where it was. Well, he walked around for a while, and met some villagers. The duck he met before was named Scoot, and he also met a wolf named Lobo, a chicken named Rhoda, and a squirrel named Ricky. He hated them all. At the beach, there was a stupid seagull passed out, just laying there. Bargo woke him up, and the seagull introduced himself to be Gulliver, and then rambled on for a few minutes. He then gave Bargo a leaf. "What the hell?", he wondered, until he looked in his "inventory" and discovered it was a Stone Coin. whatever. He then wrnt to the nearby police station and the incompetant officer let him take a pad of paper and a crappy shirt. While lolling around, he ran into some trees and found 1000 Bells, a bed, a beehive, and a spider. He went to the other end of the town and there was a store. An annoying raccoon named Tom Nook worked there. Bargo looked at the things at the store. There were some crappy clothes, crappy paper, flowers, paint, some ugly wallpaper and carpets, a shovel, an axe, and some other stuff. He bought the shovel and the axe, and looked at the other crap. There was a drinking bird, a tree, a table, and a stupid slide shaped like an elephant. He hated it all, so he just left. Going back to his house, he dumped off the stupid stone coin (which was HUGE) and the bed he found. It was covered with hearts and was really ugly. Anyway, he looked at the sign outside his house. It said:

Attention Treasure-hunters!

If you want a Samurai Suit, you

better go check out Acre A-5!

Hurry, it may already be gone!

-Axel

So he killed the sign and went to Acre A-5, the Dump. There was a crack in the ground, and he dug there with the shovel. He found another leaf. He wnt back to his house and dumped it off. It turned out to be the Samurai Suit! This Axel person must have been an idiot. He went outside, and waited for something to happen. THREE HOURS LATER a duck landed by the house, dropped off a letter, and left. Bargo read it. It said "Hey, you found it. Uhh... good job. now go do something else, I guess...." So then the town burned down instantly and for no reason.

## Chapter 27

Everything burned down immediately. he looked at the smouldering ruins and spotted a few things. somehow, his crappy-a$$ heart bed was somehow perfectly fine. also, Scoot and Rhoda had managed to survive, and the seagull had flown off a long time ago. suddenly Rhoda woke up, saw the damage, and had a heart attack and died. Skoot was a bit singed around the edges, but his head was perfectly fine. he had managed to survive by jumping into his fishtank. now he just looked around and fell asleep. Bargo decided he better do the same, so he fell asleep on the crappy heart bed. he closed his eyes for a good rest.

Bargo awoke and heard the soft swishing of water. he opened his eyes a tiny bit and rustled to get a better position. he was under the same beautiful night sky, except it did seem a bit different. he rustled again and this time he got hurt in the back. he sat up and rubbed his eyes. he opened them groggily at first, but then they were soon wide open. he stood up quickly, but this made the boat rock back and forth and Bargo fell over the side. he swam as best eh could and arrived sputtering and coughing upon the shore. he looked again at the sky and noticed the difference: it seemed much more cartoony than the previous sky. he looked back down and his eyes fell upon his boat. it looked at him and rolled its eyes. then it--wait a second...it looked at him?? Bargo almost fainted again. at least there were no large monsters around. Bargo got up on the dock and then started walking. he was on a small island in a huge ocean, and it had a nice little town on it. everyone was inside because it was nighttime, but Bargo was nosy and curious so he went in a nicely decorated door. to his surprise, there was someone there, and the house was brightly lit. it was some wierd eskimo dude, so Bargo just left. he looked down and noticed that for some reason, he had a green tunic, and, on futher inspection, a green hat, a crappy shield, and a small sword. he found a nice area of grass and fell asleep again, this time with a hope that this would be the last place he would have to endure.

## Chapter Twenty eight 28 82 Q

Everything that already happened happened again just to be obnoxious. Now that everything was several minutes ahead of itself, I died.

I came back now. Anyway, Bargo died.

He came back now.

()\_()

ok seriously, here's the chapter.

## Chapter 28

Speaking of mice, I'm hungry. Bargo woke up the next day and everyone was roaming around the village. He went to the store, to get some more. Chicken. No seriously, he went to a random building and inside there was this queer dude that was both hyper and depressed at the same time. He FORSED Bargo to play a game, and he even spelled forced wrong! Bargo was to find some squid on a grid and shoot them. He did. Then the weird guy gave him one weed and boopda-bappda-deeped out of there. Bargo also boopda-bappda-deeped into the boat and he sailed off to a random island. It was """""""Spectacle Island"""""""" and the dumb guy was there again. He FORSED Bargo to play a game where he shot barrels with a cannon. Bargo lost, so he was FORSED to live the life of a hairdresser. At his new job, he met a blue chicken who was a lawyer and had a southern accent. Bargo killed him and went back to his boat. He sailed about 75 .... thousand miles to another island called "Outlook Island". There he boopda-bappda-deeped into a hole and found several bats. Bargo used his sword to smite them, and then a hole appeared that he went down. in there was some more enemies. He killed them and kept doing this 25 times until he reached a dead end. There was not only a lack of punctuation but there was a treaure chest Bargo opened the treasure chest and the punctuation came back. There also happened to be a map in there. It was really stupid looking and he couldn't read it. the spider senses he didn't have were tingling, so he knew (for whatever reason) that he needed to show it to a little elf dude that lives in a totem pole. \*time skips forward\* he was there with the elf dude. He took the map and all of Bargo's savings from the battles on Outset, and then gave the map back to Bargo. He could read it now, and found out that there was a Triforce shard underwater near southern Triangle Island.

## Chapter 29

So anyways....Bargo was just sailing uselessly around and was getting pretty bored so he searched around the boat. he found some maps, actually...a lot of maps! some were clearly treasure maps, and others showed other things. some of the treasure had been crossed off the treasure charts, but soem hadn't. Barog found an exceptionally large map and unfolded it. it was a large grid with a small island neatly painted in each square. just then, Barog was jolted to a halt so fast that he flew right out of the front of the boat and landed on solid rock. some of the treasure maps fell into the water and went under. his sea map was caught in the wind and blown away. Bargo, half dazed from the concussion, felt around in his "pockets". he found some things, like...a huge leaf, a telescope, a bow and arrow...and for some reason, a wierd white stick. he pulled that out and waved it around a bit. it seemed to sparke at certain points. he tried some things until one time when he pointed it up, to the left, then to the right, he could suddenly see a dial in his mind. he could point the arrow in any direction he wanted. he decided to make it blow against him, so he selected that. how interesting...Bargo put the stick away and collapsed back down on the ground. he was on the edge of an island with a house on top, and a nice house at that. just as he was looking at it, somehting hit him. he pulled it off of him and it was his sea map! he had blown it right back to him by changing the direction of the wind. maybe he could do some other htings with this ability. Bargo got up and warily grabbed the few maps that were on the ground and put them in the ship. he took the sail down and took out his rope with a hook on the end. when he put it in the ship, it came back out as an arm with the rope leadign down from it. he lowered the rope to the bottom of the sea floor and hit something! he quickly pulled it back up, and to Bargo's surprise, it was a treasure chest! he brought it on to the ship and opened it. it had about fifteen treasure charts in it!! As Bargo was congratulating himself, he remembered that all those maps had fallen into the water. it seemed someone on the bottom of the ocean had somehow put them all in a chest. Bargo put the charts away and threw the chest back into the expanse of water. then he took the grappling hook away and put the sail back out, but this time the boat turned to the direction the wind was now blowing. he layed down for a nice nap. He woke up and he was on the shore of another island. he hopped out and decided to explore. this island was clearly MUCH bigger than the last one, especially with the huge mountain. he went up a little ways and reached a large rock blocking his path. he grabbed one of the nearby flowers that looked like a bomb and put it by the rock. as its fuse got shorter, Bargo backed away. the flower exploded along with the rock. some pieces hit Bargo and injured him. he went along the path, blowing up more rocks until he reached a place where the bridge was broken. he looked up and saw a small rod protruding from the rock wall. he had an idea and took out the grappling hook. he threw it up and it hooked around the rod. he held on tight and swung across the expans, letting go on the other side and unhooking the rope. he continued on up and entered the mountain. inside, he almost freaked out again. there were a bunch of wierd bird-people walking around. Bargo went up the ramp and went in a little room. there was a large Bardperson looking at him, so he left. there was a desk in front of what seemed to be postboxes. he talked ot one of the people and indeed the man was looking for someone to take his job as postmaster. Bargo...left...and this chapter ended abruptly

## Chapter thirty 30 03 Q

no really, Chapter 30

Bargo decided to screw his job as the mail sorter and he just left. Through another door, he found some bird kid clutching a large orange pearl. Bargo asked him what it was, but the kid said that it was his most prized possession, and wouldn't say anything more about it. \*the next parts are unclear\* Bargo was hit by a very fast, flying object and fell over on the ground. The little bird dude took his grappling hook, leaf, bow & arrows, and most of his charts and sold them to some shady characters sporting large cakes. The kid then did a sort of dance and all the dudes left. \*now continues normally\* Bargo left. After talking to some of the other boids, he found out that there was a dragon named Valoo that resided at the top of the island. He was in great pain for reasons unknown. The way to find the dragon was very difficult indeed. Apparently he had to go out this one way into a desert-like area and the path to reach Valoo was after there. He went there, and there were some wilted flowers. In this place, there was dust blowing all over, and at the bottom of a little canyon there was a little pond with a huge rock in it. Bargo went down there and drank some of the water, but kept it in his mouth. He then spit it out on the flowers. They suddenly and inexplicably grew into perfect bomb flowers.

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He took a bomb and chucked it down at the rock, which blew up. The geyser under it started to ...erupt, or something... and water filled the whole freaking canyon. He then swimmed \*cough\* swam across and there was some lava. He ...went past it ... with ease and entered a cave. This was the Dragon Roost Cavern.

....M\_\_\_

E°..\_\_...)~

...W....W

## Chapter 31

Bargo entered the cavern and a wave of heat blew on him. the smouldering lava poured slowly and thickly over the cracked ground. ok seriously, im not writing like that. it...was hot. so anyways, Bargo started walking to the left and there was a shady character standing there who wanted to trade a joy pendant for "something special". Bargo had about 5 million, so he gave him two. the shady character was so overjoyed he gave him all of his stuff back. now im still not sure how he came by the leaf, but he had one nonetheless. so he pulled it out and jumped off the ledge. he landed on a small platform and jumped off that, thus landing by the huge door. he looked around and spotted a rod hanging down so he grappled onto it and pulled it down. this opened the door, so he went through. he continued thorugh the dungean extremely easily until he reached the boss door. he ate a pot by it and it happened to have pot inside. so now he was high. he ate the other jars and two had fairies, but one had rupees. lets just say the rupees took a long time to go through his digestive system. he was high and stumbling around when one of those fire-snake things came up to him. he dodged it and sliced its sharp tail off. he carved it a bit and picked the lock on the boss door. he entered and he saw the dragon's tail hanging down from the ceiling. so maybe it was just the heat that was annoying Valoo... Just then, a monstrous, ginormous creature roared from the fiery depths of the lava pit. its huge claws smashed into the cracked ground beside Bargo. wait, not the good writing again!! The creature...was bad. and it yelled a lot. Bargo noticed its one eye and thought that should be the place to strike it. so he rolled around the pit for about an hour until a sudden inexplicable force took him and made him look at the hooked tail of Valoo. perfect for grappling onto! so he grappled it and pulled on the tail. this made the ceiling collapse on Ghoma, paralyzing him shortly. Bargo somehow managed to be right in front of Ghoma's eye, so he pulled out his leaf and blew some dust into it. this made Ghoma really pissed and really blind. he reared up with a mighty force and destroyed the abominable force that had whence held him down (he broke the ceiling thing). then, for some reason, the ceiling came back and Valoo's tail swung around. it hit Ghoma in the head, making him unconscious. Bargo just went over and chopped at the eye until the thing died. he kept a small piece of the eye for safekeeping. Ghoma...died...somehow...and a blue light appeared, along with a heart thingy. Bargo ate it and grew stronger. then he stepped into the light. he was somewhere and Valoo thanked him and junk. the end. ok seriously. Bargo thought that beating Ghoma was the end, but it...wasnt somehow. then a thought hit him. if he had just gotten a triforce piece, the former character had probably already beaten this dungeon. that sucks. so Bargo went sailing away to the east with no particular destination in mind.

## Chapter thirty two 32 23 Q (sorry, I had to do it)

As Bargo sailed East, he was wondering how freaking big this ocean was. He looked around and saw a few islands far off, but the water seemed to stretch out forever. eventually he reached a point where his boat said, "NO. You CAN'T go over there. I'm not going to let you." so Bargo jumped out of the boat and started swimming, but then he remembered he had no arms of legs, and just sort of bobbed there. A little wave threw him back into the boat, conveniently enough. So he asked the boat where the hell he could go, and the boat said he could go there. To hell.

-Cut-

The director came over in a helicopter. He said the boat needed to calm down a little. the boat said "SCREW YOU!" and exploded, which set the water on fire (what the hell?) and destroyed EVERYTHING!! Then Bargo went cannon-pulting into the air, and shot several miles South. he landed in front of a big plant dude on some island. He killed it and then ...went into the PLACE. there was a tree there, who gave him the leaf that he already had and he said "R." Bargo did this and he went to the spikey place next to the island he was on now. He reached it by floating on the big leaf. In there he did some stuff, including throwing huge walnuts at stuff and bleeding. Well, he didn't actually bleed, but he killed some enemies and found some gay little flutterby (spelled correctly) pendants. In one room, there was a big-ass pit with a ramshakle thingymospingy that could be used to cross it. To use it, he had to se the leaf to blow on a propeller and it would move the little platform. After he crossed it, about 147 fluffy puff marshmallows \*cough\* I mean 20 little spiky things attacked him. \*stops writing\*

## Chapter 33

Bargo the Spherio was walking along when he spotted a mushroom in the corner of a room. he picked it, then lit one end and smoked the magic 'shroom long and hard. he passed out soon, and when he woke up, he was laying on a staircase somewhere with a massive hangover. also, there were a few wasted Wimples laying around. Bargo had stubble somehow. there was a guard pacing nearby, so Bargo got into a drunken brawl with him, and then some of the wimples and other guards joined in. Bargo emerged from it as the only one left standing, but he had two black eyes and a broken "arm". he put on the guards' armor and picked up one of thier ginormous swords, continuing up the gargantuan staircase swaying back and forth. he came up to the titanic door at the end and picked the lock with the sword. it opened and went into a cutscene. he was in a huge arena, with a big puddle in the middle. from the darkness above, a robot dropped down into the puddle. Bargo, his vision changing blurriness, happened to notice and orb on the robot's tail. Shiny.... thought Bargo. the robot was then attached ot the ceiling via ropes. Bargo wanted the shiny ball, but the robot wouldn't let him have it, so Bargo flung his giant sword spinning at the ropes. it happened to cut down every single one, dropping the robot to the ground and momentarily paralyzing him. Bargo rushed to the orb and ate it, never to be seen again. the robot changed into a different robot, which Bargo defeated somehow, and it turned into yet another robot, also of which had another orb and Bargo managed to eat. the robot exploded and a rope dropped down from above. Bargo's hangover from the magic mushroom was almost gone now, and he could concentrate on climbing the rope. it seemed to go on forever, until he finally reached a platform and had to climb another rope to another platform. Bargo took a small rest there, then took his grappling hook and used it to get through a doorway on one wall. Bargo emerged on a high circular roof surrounded by water. he simply figured the effects of the 'shroom were still working. also, there was some girl he had never seen before and this really ugly guy wearing drapes for robes. the girl mentioned something about a "light arrow", but Bargo had never heard of that, so he just walked up to the ugly dude. the guy was laughing, so Bargo puked all over him and laughed back. the guy was so angry that he killed the girl. while he was doing so, Bargo stole his sword and ran away. this guy, called "Gannondorf" by the girl, started chasing Bargo around the roof. eventually Bargo turned around, jumped up, and stabbed him in the head. he screamed and then melted. a fat guy wearing red appeared out of nowhere and started talking to Bargo, but Bargo didn't care so he took another magic shroom out of his pocket and smoked it until he passed out yet again.

## Chapter 34

=-=There is a strange mist going by=-=

...

...

...

...

???: Hey! V

???: What are you doing here? V

=-=The shadowy figure steps forth=-=

...

...

...

Shadow: What are you anyway? V

Shadow: Some sort of happy face? V

=-=Bargo awakens=-=

...

...

...

Bargo: What in the hell is going on here? V

Bargo: And who the hell are you? V

Shadow: That is unimportant now. V

Shadow: What is important is how you arrived here. V

=-=The shadow steps forth, revealing a hunched over figure with a black cloak=-=

...

...

...

Anus: I am Anus, and this is a sacred place. V

Bargo: Anus? What kind of gay name is that? V

Anus: It is a sacred name that is... V

=-=Bargo killed Anus=-=

...

...

...

Bargo: Screw this. V

=-=This weird form of writing will end now=-=

Anyway, Bargo killed Anus and left, then found himself in a strange town. He is also wearing a red hat with a B on it, a red shirt, and blue overalls. However, they have no sleeves or leg holes. I mean, he's a freaking ball. He found some gay thing with a tree on its head and a big nose. He thanked Bargo for the cheese and ate it in 15/17 of a bite. Then it puked up the cheese and turned it into a Junspinar. This was its chance to evolve! Bargo left at this point feeling some deja vu. Anyway, he went around the city, which was dark for some reason even though the sun was out and there were few clouds. A couple of police officers stopped him and took him away. At court, it was said that Bargo had covered the whole island with some crap and he needed to clean it all. They gave him a water pack thing to wear and he needed to start immediatly. But Bargo wanted to watch his favorite movie: "Dangeresque 2: This Time, it's Not Dangeresque 1". So he did. Under his breath. About some girl named Beth.

## Chapter 35

Well then. Bargo knew he was supposed to do some sort of like missions or something, but Bargo felt lazy. So he went so some guy and gave him a peanut and the guy gave him some fashionable shades. then he slipped the guy a fifty and he gave him a cool caribbean-type shirt with shines on it. Bargo pilfered a special rocket attachment for his water pump from a nearby shop and was finally on his way. everything on the island was covered in this black tar-like goo. Bargo ignored it and found his way to the highest point in town: the top of the shine gate. then he jumped off and made a complete nose dive into the water. after finding his way back to land, he decided to finally start some adventures. he was on top of a certain building when he came across a very odd sight. it was a large pipe on the roof wit ha gigantic pineapple in it. Bargo pulled out his handy handkerchief and his silverware and settled down for a nice meal. it took him exactly THREE DAYS straight to finish the pineapple, but he did it. approximately one and a half times his former size, Bargo practically waddled into the pipe and fell a very, very, long way down.

He was now on a twilight beach with a large building in the distance. he went t othe building and entered it turned out to be an old, creepy, supposedly "paradise resort", but it was more a haunted house, complete with ghosts. he shot the ghosts with his water and for some very odd reason they turned into platforms. he jumped from platform to platform, finally reaching the third floor. there was a golden ghost statue there wit hits mouth open, so Bargo hopped inside.

Now he was in a completely different environment. in this one, he was on a floating platform in the middle of empty space. there were other odd platform-type objects near him. he hopped onto another platform and there were some enemies he had to jump on to kill. he had to smash into a block to get it to disappear, and then he got on top of it. there were three flying creatures moving back and forth in front of him in the air. he had to time his jumps to land on each one and hop to the next one successfully, until finally reaching a small platform. this platform had many more big blocks of which he had to smash until he finally opened a vertical path to wall-jump to the top. up here, thre was a path in front of him made out of beige, apparently sand-blocks. he touched the first one and it immmediately disintegrated. this would be very hard, he thought to himself. the block soon came back and he started his journey. he had to stay running, and if he stopped he knew he would probably very narrowly make it out. he somehow managed to make it to the other side, where there were some watermelon-blocks. lots of blocks in this place..., thought Bargo. it took him about ten minutes to figure out how to get rid of these blocks, which was to jump up and to a butt-smash down on them. he made a path in front of him to a moving block that moved slowly from where he was, across an open space, to a small platform on the other side. the block was also rotating around counter-clockwise, which would make things difficult. but Bargo being Bargo, he timed his move well and was able to easily jump to the platform. a shimmering, gold, star-shaped object with a smiley face on it was before him. he grabbed it and held it up in triumph, then being transported back to the paradise island. wondering what could happen next, Bargo bought a martini and sat in the shade for some nice relaxation.

## Chapter 36

Immediately, the plot burst into flames once again and Bargo shot out of the TV into a pickle on the wall where he was originally playing Classic Assorted 2. All the Companions were doing exactly what they were doing before he started playing, and as Bargo fell out of the pickle, nobody noticed a thing. A magical \*\*--\_\_//fairy\\\_\_--\*\* appeared and made them all lose their "special" personalities and they are now completely expressionless once more. Anyway, the \*\*--\_\_//fairy\\\_\_--\*\* just left immediately and a large sock fell out of Bargo's center eye. Some silence passed, and then they all just sorta left and went to Mount Wanahockaloogie so they could finally continue in the Mango League. It was about 2 miles away, so they just took their time getting there and watched the random SC's around them battle each other, implode and eat floral bookmarks. As they reached the halfway point of the trail leading there (there was a happy little sign that said it was there), X-ray cat appeared and told them they were all doing bad things. for example, Pokémaster Ian was humping a nearby tree. The rest were either peeing, smoking, or looking at prono. The balloons holding the banana and the baboon eyes with sauce fell from the sky and took down a nearby Kez. HADHAD torched X-ray cat and the continued. They reached the mountain, and did a trippy little smash dance (what?) to open the nonexistant gate. Then everything went black as day randomly and inexplicably turned to night, but a nearby bush lit the way by means unknown. The sock that fell out of Bargo's eye came in handy now, because it could be used to light the bush when it got hungry as they went up the mountain. They did that. ................. The bush turned out to be an Elementino in disguise \*looks around furtively\* and it joined the Companions. They finally reached the peak of Mount Wanahockaloogie, and there was nothing. there. After a while, Yukronsky noticed a hole in the ground, and they all just fell through it. They all had to cross the bridge over lava, and dodge the fireballs shooting by the whole time. Elementino ended up getting hit by a fireball and died. They reached the end and there was the Mango gym leader, Chris. Chris said, "ok, lets have a three-on-three," and immediatly sent out a Ziggerdo. Captain Pringle came forward to fight it. Immediatly the Ziggerdo melted and fell in the lava. CP looked around for some sort of hint of what would happen next, and Chris had a poker face on (seriously, it was a mask) so he didn't find anything out. Suddenly,

...

\*five minutes later\* a huge wall of lava rose up, controlled by Ziggerdo, and fried CP! Normally, this would have killed him, but the bad logic in this story prevented that from happening. Instead, Ceeps simply ate the lava, and then turned red and gained the power of it. He then used it to melt the Ziggerdo (who was back to normal) and then withdrew, sent out Bargo, and Bargo ate it and sent it to another dimension. Chris then sent out a Bleeah. It floated around for a while and, dodging Bargo's many eye beams, then flew right at him, knocking him into the lava. He just shot up, the camera angle changed, and there was a "whiiir" noise. Bargo then walked into the room again the way he entered. As they all looked at him blankly, CP went forth again to fight again. Again. He shot his giant teeth at Bleeah, and about 12 hit. Then they all came back to CP. As Bleeah was knocked down, Ceeps body slammed it and knocked it into the lava, which finished it off. Chris, now down two SC's, sent out his final one, an Ultimax!!??!!!2!!2@? How the hell did he get one of those? CP tried to bite it, but it breathed and instantly wiped him out. Yukronsky could hit him from a distance and dodge well, so it started to go up to fight it, but suddenly something happened. A mouse crawled by. Then something else happened! Something shot out of the lava, and it was Elementino! It was glowing red, and, breathing heavily, it somehow evolved into Atmobob! It quickly used Dark Night, and after the darkness faded (it took about a minute), Ultimax was minus one outline. It started to shoot some sort of beam at Atmobob, but it used Happy Day and everything turned all happy and shiz. Then Ultimax turned completely white. Atmobob then did some crazy stuff, and Bargo (who never was actually KO's) joined in. Eventually, they somehow beat the Ultimax. \*sad music starts playing\* the Ultimax took off its costume, revealing itself to be a crying Wimple. "Well, I guess you'll have to split them up!" \*music starts getting up-beat and happy\* "But.. can we really split up the Beatles?" "Sure, nothing lasts forever!" \*music stops\* The Wimple imploded. No one was sure what just happened right then. Anyway, the battle was done, but Chris wouldn't give them the Loogie badge because they double teamed. Atmobob then proceeded to kill Chris, stole the badge, and they all left.

"Hey, this is Goku here. Wow, waht a battle! Thing really got hot today! But Cell has become even more powerful, and even I'm not sure if we can beat him! Is the Earth doomed?" Announcer: "Find out on the next Draginball Z!" \*theme music plays and quickly stops\*

\*credits\* Made by FUNimations

## Chapter 37

Annoucer guy: "Last time on Dragon...Ball...Z! Will Goku save the world yet again? Find out today on Dragonball Z!"

The Companions, now inclusive of eight, traversed the passage back down the mountain and on to the next gym. Somehow, Pokemaster Ian had pulled a map out of his butt that showed where all the Mango League Gyms are. They headed on towards Crabtree Island, where the Thai Stick Gym was located. the way to the island was a difficult one, though, through many thickets, ravines, and other such out-of-place insignificant land features. while crossing a rickety bridge, Bargo stopped suddenly and complained of terrible cramps. HADHAD insisted it was because he kept eating other SCs, but Bargo denied it. he described a sharp pain in his lower intestine, but eventually it went away. Later on the path, Bargo suddenly started having convulsions and most unexpectedly, a gigantic satellite dish came out and unfolded from his arse. "Oh god-damnit!" Bargo yelled, and Junspinar noticed that a red light was blinking at the tip of the satellite. a minute later, a spaceship appeared and beamed them all inside. Giordelli was there! after they all recieved anal probes, Bargo asked who the hell he was. HADHAD was about to ask him what he was talking about when he remembered Bargo never actually met Giordelli. Giordelli looked puzzled as well for a second, and then asked, "Does this form not please you? Well...how about this one?" and he morphed into Small Woodland Creature. all the companions were very taken aback, and Pokemaster Ian actually started crying like the gay fag he is. "This does not please you either? Then what form would you like me to take to be most pleasing to you?" All the companions started thinking then, for about five minutes, until Ceeps suddenly shouted "SANTA CLAUS!!" And the alien turned into him, but the other companions didn't like Santa Claus. after about three more suggestions and a long pause, Bargo said, "How about..................A giant taco that craps ice cream every once in a while?" "Yeah!" So the alien turned into that and the companions were pleased. The Taco led them into another chamber, leaving a trail of ice cream scoops after him. there were a bunch of aliens at computers, and all the screens showed different animals and places on the SC-world. "As you can see, we've been monitoring you for a while." "But why?" Asked Junspinar. "We use the fottage for our very popular inter-galactic television show 'Strange Creature's Planet All the time, all the Rhyme'." The companions looked at each other briefly, but ignored that last comment. The Taco crapped out a few more ice cream scoops. "I'm sorry, but we'll have to kill you now that you know about the show. if you tell people, the show won't be real anymore and the ratings will plummet. Sorry, but i gotta do what i gotta do!" and the Taco pulled out a giant contraption consisting of many drills and blades. Atmobob tackled him while the others opened an escape pod and piled in. when Atmobob was in and shut the door, HADHAD hit the giant red button and they went hurtling back to the SC-world. amazingly, the escape pod crashed into the exact place that they had been beamed up from. they all got out and coninued on to the gym, fully intending to tell everyone about the show and ruin it.

## Chapter 38

All the companions were walking, rolling, flying, or whatever, into the forest. This particular forest, however, had no trees. Instead, it had a bunch of ...............................................treadmills. As they went through the forest, Pokémaster Ian suddenly fell through the ground. None of the companions cared at all and they went on. Meanwhile, as Ian was falling down, he finally landed in hell. He looked around at all the fire, evil-looking stuff, and people being tortured. He happened to see a guy with boobs on his head, Hitler getting pineapples getting shoved up his ass, and a construction paper Saddam walking around, holding hands with a bent-kneed badly drawn Satan. He started crying, and hoped that the SC-god, Mortimer Henry Telliphliple XXIV would help him.

Back to the companions, they were still walking through the forest of treadmills when they saw a hut with a guy on it. They went to talk to him, and he inroduced himself as Elpanor. They couldn't possibly care less, so they ignored him, not knowing what would happen with him later. They continued on, and a little gnome guy rose out of the bushes. He said, "Hello, I am Trinty, the son of Cockroach son of Minajed brother of the great Poshly!" HADHAD retorted with a "Yeah, well good for you. What do you want?" "I am wishing to travel along with ye, good sirs!" "Well, we're a full party. We have eight peeps." Trinty counted them. "But sir, I count only seven among you!" they looked around and noticed Ian was missing. "OK, well, you still can't join us." HADHAD then killed him. It turned out that Trinty was a jackass, so he went down to hell and met up with Ian.

"Good day to you, black and white person! Who are you?" "I'm Pokémaster Ian, and I really don't belong here. Leave me alone." "Aha, I know you! I met with your companions! They don't even care that you're gone." "What? Did you even read that part of the chapter? I was never even mentioned!" Trinty ran off.

It is nighttime. Elpanor has just drunk about 5 gallons of red wine, and being the drunk bastard he is, went to sleep on the roof. He fell off and died, and went to hell as well.

Down in hell, Ian, Trinty, and Elpanor all gathered. They discussed some things about the companions, and agreed that they all had to do something about their arrogance. They decided to pray to Mortimer Henry Telliphliple XXIV, and tell him that they deserve punishment.

...

They did this. MHT XXIV had lightning hit a treadmill near the companions, and it fell over, killing them all, and they all went to hell. What shall happen now?????///???//?/???//?question mark Shift + slash??//????/?

## Chapter 39.

Suddenly, The paper Saddam showed up again with a knife and killed everyone in hell. since they were already dead, they somehow went to the normal world.back on their journey, the companions ccontinued to the next and fourth gym. they arrived at a large pond surroounded on three sides by rock walls. there was a ring of rock passage going around the edge of the pond. they went all the way around the ring until they reached a shirveled flower on the groud. that was it. Bargo, being as smart as he is, took some of the water and put it on the flower. it IMMEDIATELY grew into a giant flower, but then there was a giant rumbling ands the water in the pond started to rise . a humongous castle rose completely out of the water, water spilling out of all of its cracks and crevices. along wit hthe castle, a ramp that led to it ended up right in front of them. realizing the obvious invitation, they all meandered on up into the large archway. the surrounding area turned black and then they were inside. there was a giant tree in front of therm, with a small archway facing them. it was shielded by crappy two-dimensional vines that were really crappy. they tried to go through them, but they...were just solid. HADHAD tried to burn them, but nothing owrked. so, they tried to burn a leaf on the other side. suddenly the entire tree was engulfed in flames and immediately burnt down into a tiny pile of crappy two-dimensional ashes. in the center of the now empty circular arena was... a leaf. it DIED AND IN ITS PLACE GREW A GIANT NOSE. THE NOSE INTRODUCED ITSELF AS "mR. sNIFFLES" AND SENT OUT A Zygerbyflergikosink. Junspinar went to fight it. Zyger jumped in the air and NEVER, EVER came back. so the match went to Junspinar. Next, Mr. Sniffles sent out a Jonah, which picked up a nearby vase, ran off wit hit, and chucked it in the air, only to smash to the ground. Then Jonah started crying, so Junspinar KILLED him. after this, the SCs did not improve. a Shmihg'nhihg'n came out of the next cube, and it just stood there with its mouth open while Junspinar defeated him. after this very unsatisfying batlle, Junspinar was confused. so when Mr. Sniffles next sent out an Ultimax, Junspinar was frozen to the spot. Ultimax breathed and Junspinar was defeated. ext, the companions sent out Shmpoug'nhoug'n, which got in a single Triple Eye Beam Laser before Ultimax looked at him and defeated him. The companions were a little ruffled, but didn't lose hope yet. hoping for a quick victory still, they sent out Pokemaster Ian. Pokemaster Ian started humping Ultimax's leg, and Ultimax looked down at him and tryed to kick him off. it didnt work;Ian could rarely be dislodged after he had chosen a target. He increaed the rate of humpage and Ultimax was actually losing life. He was getting annoyed, so he used an Eye Lazer and obliterated Ian. the outlook was bleak, the companions agreed, but they persevered. Yukronsky tried his luck next, and flew around Ultimax's head while dodging some moves. Ultimax decided to fly, too and they were in a deadlock for a while. then, out of the blue, Yukronsky dove quickly ind speared into Ultimax's back, slicing off a wing. Ultimax went careening to the ground, but somehow stabilized just before impct. Now his balance was a bit off, though, so he was slightly less as good as Yukronsky physically. Yukronsky, wasting no time, dove in again and just drilled a hole in Ultimax's back. Ultimax scremed so loudly Yukronsky's head exploded and he died. HADHAD was next, so he fired up his flame ( a bit redundant, eh?) so then he started going around and around Ultimax faster and faster until he shot a giant fire out of his neck while going around. Ultimax was surrounded with flame and recieveing some bad burns. his other, non destroyed wing cought fire and was immediately. Ultimax was getting some serious burns, but he was using all his energy on his psychic abilities, trying to pinpoint HAHDHAD's position. after about three minutes, he found it and sent a simple brainwave, immedately destroying HADHAD. Bargo, a bit flustered from all of this, approached the still smouldering foe. despite the flame, Bargo still has some water from outside, so he splashed the water on Ultimax's charred skin. Ultimax screamed again, but Bargo just covered his ears. Bargo then used his famous trio combo, and after the Crap, Ultimax felt quite quite drained. he was overwhelmed and felt beaten, and Bargo felt victorious. he used a quadrillion Eye Beam ....somehow...and Ultimax exploded in a giant ball of flame. a black spot was left where he was. green liquid leaked out of MR. Sniffles's nostrils and he disappeared. a rotating, shining bagdge was floating in midair before Bargo seo he took it and went through the door on the other side of the arena. everyhting went white and he was standing in front of a Strange Creatures-Center. Bargo carried the cubes of his friends with them. he handed them to the extremely hot nurse to heal them. after they were healed, Bargo graciously let them all out. they left the center and realized they didn't know at all where they were....

## Chapter Numero Forty-o

They didn't know it yet, but it was actually happening now! To escape, they had to do what he said exactly, which would be hard if what they other guy said came true. It almost happened, but they got away just in time to see it happen, and several small animals (yes, animals) were killed by it. The serpants, (yes, serpants) that were created as a by-product of the incident they just escaped from, all tied up and formed, somehow, a Bargo. as you can guess, he was unhappy. So he lay there for bleeah (unit of time) days until someone came by. "Did you see an evil Elementino go by?", said the Bargo. "No, but I have one back at home." Yes, it was the elemental rhino. "Well, here's my elemental rhino!" "We said an evil Elementino!" Bargo said in two voices. "Oh, well come pet him. Bargo then somehow pet the rhino with issues. He split back into Bargo the bikdip and Stygo, then they both pet the rhino individually. Bargo gained rainbow colors, and Stygo evolved into HADHAD. They were lurking behind a corner in the ...canyon... that the companions were in. They were ready to attack, but Whoop! Crack in the floor. They both died. The companions then stood on the gunship, targeted the vines, and dashed to the right, letting go of L at the right time. They all landed in a heap on a rock, except for Junspinar, who fell down and sunk into the floor, probably never to return. All 7 of the remaining companions went into the Alcove and they all got the space jump boots, somehow. Junspinar then rose out of the floor, but he didn't get the boots. The rest of them jumped out with the boots, and Junspinar stayed in there. Oh god, it was happening again! They all dodged it by stepping two feet to their rights. What will happen next? Nobody knows. Except for maybe The Cheat...

## Chapter 41

Bargo and his companions were wearily continuing down the road, reflecting back on their many adventures. Times like when Yukronsky flew up into the Nickelodeon gooze and when Junspinar ate the ð. Like when Black Hole ran into his son and together they finally set the universe back in order. While CP was looking back on the time when they were in the tall building and a giant rift opened in the floor, he accidently stepped into a plot hole and was gone. No one noticed. At all. So the others walked on towards what would be even nearer to the final end to their very, very long quest. They passed by a ravine with some chirping Yukkos and a large meadow with some grazing Jofronkialunkerots. They arrived at the high point of their path and paused, gazing down upon the sparkling wonder of this fine city. Acropolis it was called, and it could not have had a less appropriate name. It was in fact in a deep valley, and supposedly the makers of the city were puffin’ the Magic Dragon when they named it, if you know what I mean. The companions descended now unto this fine spectacle, glad to finally be in sight of some rest and relaxation. Bargo led the others to the StrangeMart, where they spared a few bucks to get a couple of Able Juices and Kerokolas. Sipping their fine refreshments and strolling through the village, the companions spotted a room for rent and checked it out. It turned out an old woman had an extra room and needed a bit of extra cash. It seemed like a fair deal to the companions, so they agreed. Somehow CP rose out of a plot hole and they all crammed into the room and took a much-needed nap. After this fine repose, the companions decided to take a “Night out on the town” to see what it had that was interesting. In fact, there was a fairly prosperous Casino running in town, so the companions decided to check it out. They bought a generous amount of coins and split them between each other to try different machines. When they were all finally fully satisfied, they pooled the coins together and found they had in fact been quite successful, ending up with twice as many coins as they started with. HADHAD broke open a nearby machine and took all the coins out of it just to ensure their wealth. The companions turned in all their coins for money and suddenly felt the urge to buy something. They took their newly accumulated cash and strolled past the plethora of fine shops in town, trying to decide which one seemed most interesting. They concluded upon an intriguing little store called "Imported Goods," and entered. They found it was very interesting indeed, and they had a quite difficult time finding something they really wanted. They finally decided on an odd little gizmo that claimed it could "double your power," whatever that meant. It took nearly all their money, but they all went back to their cozy little abode feeling quite sated and content. They settled down into their beds and attempted to get some much needed sleep for the end of their vacation in the day to come.

## Chapter 42 (god it's so long)

The next day, as the companions woke up, they were all sad about having to leave the nice city, but they knew that they had to, for whatever reason, go on. all eight of them, plus a nearby Elvis impersonator all gathered 'round and began to discuss things. (initials shall be used for them, they should be self-explanitory) It went a little something, a like-a this-a. \*static\*

J: "...and so it turned out, I didn't die." \*canned laughter\* "So, what's do's youse wants toos doos?"

Elvis: "I'm going to leave now." \*leaves\*

J: "But seriously, does anyone even like me? I was one of the originals, but I'm like the least used one."

A: "Yeah, nobody like you. I mean, I just joined the group, but from what I can tell..."

CP: "You just joined? Waiber!"

A: "Uhh, yeah. Anyway, from what I can tell, none of you are really interesting at all, and apart from Ian's gayness, nobody really has a personality at all."

Y: "Damn straight."

S: "I know, seriously. You'd think we would have some actual descriptiveness besides our looks."

Ian: "Wait, who?"

CP: "You."

Ian: Cool."

Fonz: "Ayyy!"

Y: "You think you've got it bad? What about me?"

H: "Yeah, what ABOUT you?"

CP: "Ooh, burrn!"

H: "OK, so now lets talk about drugs."

S: "Hell no."

H: "Whatev. So, anyonw watch Dharma and Greg last night?"

All in unison: "Dude, that's like the gayest show ever." \*cheesey smile\*

H: "but-" \*canned laughter\*

A: \*Peter Griffin laugh\* "you said butt."

S: "So, what do you want to talk about now?"

Ian: "How about politics?" \*gets stared at\* \*quiet discussion\*

Y: "No."

J: "Yeah, no way!" Y: "You ass, stop copying me!"

J: "Facelift!" \*they begin fighting\*

Audience: "Jerry! Jerry!"

Ian: \*with olde English accent\* "I say, why do ye needith to fight as so?" \*is pulled into fight\*

CP: "Yay! Everybody likes me!" \*is also pulled into the fight\*

H: "Guys, stop fighting damnit!" \*is thrown against a big rock and knocked out\*

\*Atmobob and Shmœg'nœg'n fight each other\*

\*Bargo leaves\*

B: "God, that was so freaking stupid. I refused to say anything." \*falls over\* \*is pulled backwards into fight\*

B: "Nooooo!" \*rams into A and S fighting, they are pulled in too\*

\*HADHAD is pulled into fight\* \*fight ends\* \*wind blows\*

J: "Yes! I actually won!" \*is hit by that truck that hit Zeromew (Blissmewy) oh, so long ago\*

Zero: "I'm baa-aack!" \*chapter ends\*

Wait, it didn't actually end! All of the companions were knocked out, laying in a heap.

Zero: "Power down!" \*Is turned into a smart form of Gir (Invader Zim)\*

Zero: "Yes. YES! This is perfect! They are all down for a while, and my chance for revenge is here at last! Minions, report!"

An airplane flew by. some dudes on parachutes dropped down. They were Bender (Futurama), The Cheat (homestarrunner.com), Stewie (Family Guy), Lightitup1337 (UBCS comic), Cosmo (Fairly Oddparents), Zorak (Space Ghost C2C and Brak Show), and Cartman (South Park). Rising out of the ground about a mile away were a random Megazord (Power Rangers), Godzilla, Kraid (Metroid), and a Tyranitar (Pokémon). Meta-Ridley (Metroid Prime) also flew down. A small bomb exploded next to the companions and woke them up. Seeing the army of evil dudes surrounding them, they were all silent with fear. This silence was broken by a well-said comment by Bargo. "Oh @#%$." WE'LL BE BACK TO (Frosty's Return) AFTER THESE MESSAGES. \*commercials\* AND WE'RE BACK TO (Frosty's Return) \*ending credits roll\*

Gir(Zeromew): "What? I sat through all those commercials just for the credits!? Damn them!" He flew off to the TV studio to complain and the 7 minions followed. The Companions had to deal with the giants now.

Ridley was right there, so they decided to work on killing him first. As Ridley flew around, he shot bombs and lasers. Bargo and CP ate them and shot them back with little success. Meanwhile, the rest shot any projectiles they had at him, and none effected him but Junspinar's Bozberry Bomb. It knocked him down, and while he was down he was hit by a Triple Eye Beam, Neck Flame Torch, Bozberry Bomb, Freeze Beam, Water Blast, and Leafy Wind. Ian and CP stood there uselessly, as they had no projectiles. It was down for a while, so CP tackled it somehow and Ian Hair Bombed it. Ridley was dead, and it shot out some cheese before dying. Then he was dead. Ridley was dead. The four other approached, and things started looking grim. however, they remembered Tyranitar was a rock-type and weak to water and grass, so some Leafy Winds and Water Blasts killed it. Then Bargo happened to remember the gadget they bought, and used it by setting it aflame. They all grew very large indeed, and were twice as strong. Yukronsky and Atmobob flew in the air and tried to hit the remaining three with various attacks. The others split up and took the others on 2 to 1. HADHAD heated up the Megazord with his fire, and Yukronsky saw him doing that, so he shot a Freeze Beam at it. It sorta funked out from the temperature changes. After a Hair Bomb by Ian, it blew up in a crappily made explosion. Then it reassembled and shot back in another terrible explosion of sparks, on the wrong side, and it hit Godzilla. Godzilla was charging an UBER BEAM, but it got messed up and instead shot Kraid, who died. now only Godzilla was left. He messed up everyone's lip-synching, but was shot by 87 missles from the Japanese army and died as well. He fell in a pool of Phazon, and tuned into the Incredible Hulk, who just left for no reason. The Companions then shrank back to normal size and their power levels returned.

A random scoreboard appeared. It was very crappy and oddly shaped. It's side didn't even match up because I can't do ASCII art in this reply box.

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

Bargo: "Soo... this whole thing is actually the final battle for the Mango League?"

Cosmo: "Well, yes. You see, Zeromew was really unhappy with the outcome of his appearence in the first story, so he set up this whole thing to have his revenge!"

Cartman: "Shut the \*\*\*\* up, you gay-ass fairy!"

Gir (he is dumb now): "Wheee! Super-toilet!"

Cosmo: "Aaaahhh! Not Super Toilet! Too much... clogging...." \*fetal position\*

The Cheat: "Merrah uh muh murarrah ruh muh mrruh meh!"

Lightitup1337: Oh, I'm sorry. What was that again? I didn't cacth it."

Zorak: "God you're a fag. Why are you a cigarette anyway?"

Lightitup: "Mymom smoked pot before I was born"

Stewie: "I say, she smoked pot? Why, my mother Lois dis as well! If it wasn't for that, I may have never become so delightfully evil! Zorak, you look like a formidable opponent! Will you help he kill her?"

Zorak: "Hell no."

Stewie: "Yes, I should have expected as much. What about you, robot?"

Bender: "Bite my shiny metal ass!"

Gir: "Why do you always say that?" \*spasm\*

Bender: "It makes me seem cool." \*smokes cigar\*

Lightitup: "Hey, that's my cousin!"

All: Shut the hell up!"

Bargo: "Are you guys done rambling yet?"

Zorak: Yeah, sure. So, you wanna fight now?"

Ian: \*gayly\* "Yeh-es!"

Stewie: "Then it is settled. We shall start right now!"

\*chapter finally ends\*

## Chapter 43

-HADHAD vs. Cartman-

"GET YOUR @#%$ @$$ OVER HERE YOU SON OF A @#%$&!" Shouted Cartman at the top of his voice.

"Bring it, #$%@!" retorted HADHAD. It was on.

HADHAD charged up a big flame and began rolling around to avoid attacks. Cartman started charging up a huge fart and was closing his eyes tight. HADHAD fired away and Cartman did as well, just in time. The fart exploded in a giant fireball, but it was right behind Cartman and he went flying, scorched in the back. HADHAD had also recieved a shock and was regainign his thoughts. he found Cartman lying on the ground in front of him, ready to be attacked. HADHAD tried to body slam him, but his entire body mass was the total of about a melon, so he just bounced off Cartman. Cartman came to and started swearing again. HE bodyslammed HADHAD, which did about 1/3 of his damage. Hadhad was pinned as well, so Cartman got up and did a victory dance. HADHAD lit him on fire in anger, and Catman was running around swearing for a while. by the time Cartman had rolled around enough to put out the fire, HADHAD had charged up an. entire. UBERBEAM somehow, im not quite sure. Cartman, low on health, was instantly obliterated in its blinding white light. HADHAD did his own victory dance while the scoreboard came down to show he had gotten a point. He moonwalked off the arena as the next battle began.

## Chapter 44

-Bargo vs. Cosmo-

Bargo lost. End of chapter.

\*I get kicked by various objects\*

Damn it, I don't want to write this.

\*makes shadow puppet\* Hey look, its a little doggy! Say hi to the doggy! \*Is killed\*

BUT THEN, a tree fell on me and I came back, much to everyone's dismay.

Ok, so uhh, Bargo did some stuff, and Cosmo just floated there. Cosmo then made Super Bike appear, and it was indestructable. Also, just like in the show, it could turn into a dragon thing when it got angry. Bargo didn't want to ride it, so it got mad and started changing into the dragon thing. He reluctantly agreed, and just sort of rode around on it for a while. then he rode it off a convenienly placed cliff.

Then Bargo teleported elsewhere, and was tied to a giant leg! "Couldn't you have shaved this thing?" Bargo had a really dumb costume on, and a butt-chin. He fired off some chinarangs to cut the ropes, and escaped. Bargo stormed off, trying to find freaking Cosmo and kick his ass, when he appeared right in front of him, but he made the Crimson Chin appear, who began to beat him up. Weakly, Bargo said "wait, stop! What would Spanky the imaginary gerbil say?" (it appears) "Come on Crimson Chin, don't be mean! That's not how you should act!" CC: "You're right." \*lets Bargo go\* "Thanks for saving me!" "No, you saved me. From myself. Wow, that was shmultzy." Then Bargo shot him with his laser vison. Cosmo appeared and said, "Whaa-at? Where did you get laser vision?" ".... internet?" "And WHERE did you get the internet??" "Uhh... internet?" "OK!"

They just stood there. Bargo: "Aren't you going to do something?" Cosmo: "oh yeah!" and he made Jorgon Von Strangle come. "What did you call me for, puny fairy?" "Beat him up!" "Sorry, not my shift." and he left as well. Bargo: "Hey, where's Wanda, anyway?" Cosmo: "I sent her off to do something that she could never do." \*scene changes to her and a cat\* "Sit! Speak! Do anything!" The cat started attacking her, but she Poofed over to Cosmo. "I hate cats! I hate everything! I'm going to bed. Which I hate!" And she left. Cosmo: "What was her problem?" Bargo: "Isn't it your 499th anniversary, the False Anger Aniversary?" "Yeah! How did you know?" "Internet." Cosmo left to find Wanda, but she was gone. So he went to see his mom (he told her 500 years ago that he went to get milk, but never did, because she hates Wanda), then they went on a game show... or something... and some other crap happened.

Bargo finally said "Screw this" and walked off. There was no definate winner of this battle. It was considered a tie. The next one began.

## Chapter 45

-CP vs. The Cheat-

The battle began. they both just stood there. THe Cheat mumbled something like "mrr meh. mi mr mr." CP grew gimungusly large and rolled over athe Cheat, flattening him. unfortunately, the Cheat was perfectly fine and blew himself back up to normal size. CP then grew very small for no apparent reason. and THEN, everything in the entire world happened at once. an old woman fell on the floor, a man sat on the couch, and a dog somewhere in Switzerland took a piss on a fire hydrant. back to the fight. The Cheat showed his gold tooth, and sadly CP looked at it. he was instantly turned to stone, and The Cheat touched him so he fell to dust. the battle WOULD have been over, but it wasn't. .... .... a pidgeon took a crap on the pile of ashes and it magically turned back into CP. except now he was orange. this new orange CP smiled at The Cheat and outsmiled his smile. THe Cheat lost all his dots and was rendered harmless. CP rushed at him for the finishing blow, but with a "Things are just about to start getting crazy-go-nuts," Strang Bad appeared. well, at first it was Strang Sad doing his falling stunt, but then it was actually Strong Bad. he picked up CP and threw him ALL THE WAY across the ENTIRE arena and through the wall on the opposite side. technically, CP was out of bounds so he lost this match. another win for the non-companions, it seems.

## Chapter 46

-Ian vs. Stewie-

It was now Ian and Stewie's turn to fight, as it says above. Nobody really wanted to watch it, out of fear of being horrendously disturbed by it. It was a good thing they decided not to watch, as it was written in the stars that this fight would be "extremely disturbing, include a personal revelation, and ... other stuff...." Ian stood there uselessly as Stewie came out of a random door, holding a laser. He twirled it on his hand, and walked slowly towards Ian. "Well, I don't want to make this last any longer than it has to, so quite simply," he bent his head to the side, "I'm going to kiilll yoou." Ian then decided to run away like a Welshman and try to escape. Stewie shot him, but he ducked and it only hit his hair. "Do you really want to hurt mee..." "Hey, I like that song! But actually, yes, I do." "What the hell? What song? I was just asking." And at that, he was about the Hump Stewie, but then realised that would be just plain wrong, he was only a baby. Meh, whatever. As he approached, Stewie ran off, forgetting he had a gun, for 2^276,709 milliseconds and arrived at his house in Quahog. Peter walked out of the door. "Hey, has anyone seen my pants?" A studio audience was just ... there, and began laughing. "Man, I'll be glad when that studio audience moves out of the neighborhood..." Meg came out, and said "Hey, Chris's principal is on the phone!" "Ooooooh...." "Alright thats it, I'm callin the cops." Meanwhile, Stewie and Ian ran in the house and were starting to actually fight. They tried circling each other, and Stewie lept toward Ian but Missed. Ian then tried to tackle him but Stewie rolled away and Ian recovered quickly. They both put a sleeper hold on each other, and fell asleep there on the floor. Later, Ian awoke and started brewing coffee. The smell woke up Stewie Foldgers-commercial-style and he went over to the fridge. "Hmm, soda, purple stuff, ooh, Sunny D!" They both had their drink, then realised they were supposed to be fighting and began again. Ian used some Hair Bombs, but Stewie skillfully dodged each one and began throwing random glass objects. He then stuffed him in a cabinet, knocked him down a flight of stairs, and shoved a grenade in the cabinet, which should have finished him off, but Ian came out unharmed. "What the deuce?" It turned out that he couldn't die because Death was on the couch with a broken ankle, and the laws of death no longer applied. Stewie took this opportunity to jump off a building and drink multple types of hard liquor, while Ian kept asking people if they were Richard Simmons, and was as a result getting shot. ...Anyway, Death was healed somehow and Ian ran off and hid under the sheets on a bed back at the house, and Stewie gave chase. He lifted up the sheet, only to find a pile of skulls. Ian then jumped out of the closet and attacked. They then fell in a random pit somehow and Stewie pulled out his laser again. "Would you like a last request? I probably won't give it to you, but I figured I'd be nice." "Yes, don't kill me!" "Hahahaha.... no." "No wait, do you really want to kill your fellow man? I can teach you my ways..." After this, some quite disturbing things happened, including going to a gay bar, and Stewie became gay as well. Ian then took the chance to beat the hell out of him. He won. Hooray.

## Chapter 47

-Yukronsky vs. Lititup1337-

Yukronsky flew menacingly into the air and hovered. Lititup said "hey, im gonna go spam in Games like CRAZY!" Yukronsky bashed him over the head with a wing, and said "I told you not to be stupid, you idiot." Lititup thought for a second, and during that second Yukronsky flew up ...very high. Lititup chose this moment to say "Hey, i wonder if CP's mom is gonna show up again?" Yukronsky came hurtling back towards earth, spearing LItitup on his beak and subsequently crashing headfirst into the concrete ground. Yukronsky pulled his head out after much effort and shook his head, dazed from the crash. Lititup just twitched in the hole for a few minutes. Yukronsky took some nearby paper shreds and dry leaves and threw them in the hole, causing it all to catch on fire. Lititup leaped out of the hole and ran around screaming for a while, and continued to do so even after the fire went out. as Lititup ran around flailing like an idiot, Yukronsky took the time to power up and UBERBEAM. after about 5 days, it was charged and Yukronsky let it loose. but unfortunatly, the writer fell asleep at this point and the UBERBEAM dissapeared on the spot. Yukronsky looked around, confused, and Lititup stopped his mad running. He realized Yukronsky was confused, and making the ONLY maneuver yet during this whole battle, he.......punched Yukronsky. Yukronsky lost exactly one health point and just looked at Lititup as if he could not believe that was the best move that Lititup had. Lititup continued to Punch Yukronsky while Yukronsky attempted to take the time to give birth to a Yukko. Note: this is the first time it has been revealed that Yukronskys are Asexual. Back to the battle, after about a month or two, the Yukko was born and Yukronsky nursed it for about another month. the whole time, Lititup had been punching Yukronsky and now he was only down about a third of his health. Yukronsky got his Yukko to grab Lititup and hold him there while Yukronsky went over to him and proceeded to smoke him. When he was finished, there was nothing left of Lititup1337 and Yukronsky won the match. He carried the Yukko out of the arena and handed to the first person he passed by, saying he could keep it. The next match was about to begin.

## Chapter 48 (I'm writing this one at school!!111!)

Atmobob vs. Zorak

It was time for Atmobob and Zorak to face off now. Atmobob, being the new guy, didn't have a whole lot of experience. He would try his very fluffy happine55 best, though. Zorak started the fight by making a quick advancement, and whipping out a flamethrower, which he promptly used to burn Atmobob. It didn't effect him too much, so Atmobob just sorta \*went\* up, and NEVER came back. Naw, I'm just playin with ya. He came back immediately. "What the hell was that for?" "I dunno... I just wanted to. WHY MUST YOU MAKE FUN OF MAH?" And at that, Atmobob glew (yes, glew) beige, and pulled out a random object. He used said random object to throw at a tree, which exploded for no reason whatsoever and fell on Zorak. Zorak was defeated! No, not really. He emerged and pulled out a different weapon – a very large bazooka. It hit Atmobob dead-on, and he was knocked back about 5 miles, landing with a “Sploppo” sound in the middle of a thicket. Heh, thicket. That’s a funny word. He recovered and IMMEDRIATICALLY flew back to Zorak, and used a powerful electro-stick move to blast him. Zorak got a big sword somehow and swung it, missing Atmobob completely, and carving a small picture of a kitten eating crullers into the dirt. Atmobob used his Leafy Wind attack, which didn’t effect Zorak in the slightest, and he was then tackled by some purple thing. It was @#%$ Clarence. Both of them killed him at once with a random attack. Brak then popped up and started singin’ a song. “Who’s got the butt?” Zorak and Atmobob replied with “Brak’s got the butt!” “Watch and learn, little brother!” \*does random dance\* “So hey Zorak, who’s this character?” “Eh, some guy…” “Why are you fighting him? Did he take your wallet again?” “What the hell, I never even knew him until now.” Then Thundercleese crashed in and smashed Zorak. He said “…right then. Well, nice being a plot device! Away!” and flew off again. Brak started having issues, and he told his dad, Dad, to go beat up Atmobob for no reason, but he wouldn’t leave his chair. Well, Atmobob apparently won this one. Only two battles remain, and there’s no real way they could lose now.

## Chapter 49

-Junspinar vs. Bender-

The lights dimmed and some opera music began to play, Bender pulled out a cigar and started smoking, and Junspinar started spinning...faster and faster and faster and faster until he spun out of control and went shooting at top speed at Bender. "AAARGH!" he exclaimed as he was pushed to the edge of the arena. he got up, put the cigar back in his mouth, and Junspinar fell out of his chest. There was a huge dent in Bender, but he just popped it back out. "Bite my shiny metal a$$!" he shouted as Junspinar lay there, confused. Bender picked him up and spun him around his head while tying him in a knot. he put the lump of Junspinar on the ground and fluffed it, proceeding to sit on it as a chair. Bender pulled out a beer and began to drink, failing to realize that he had not won yet. Junspinar regained his strength and finally popped out of his uncomfortable position, throwing Bender across the arena. He got up and threw a few Bozberry Bombs, and Bender was getting clobbered. As Junspinar continued to use some Laser Beems and Bozberry Bombs, Bender slowly made his way to him. He finally reached him and simply punched him square in the face. Junspinar went flying and skidded to a halt on the rough ground. Bender was down to only a little bit of health left and he was just fighting to stay alive. He went over to Junspinar as he was getting up and beat the living piss out of him. Junspinar Tail Drilled him and he was paused for a moment. Junspinar started powering up for a big move, but Bender didn't notice. he just pulled out another beer bottle and broke it over Junspinar's head, proceeding to then stab him repeatedly with the broken bottle. WIth only a few health points left, Junspinar had fully charged his attack. He initiated the Self-Destruct and there was an infinitely bright light. A gigantic explosion ensued, decimating the entire area for a ten-mile radius. As the fire died down and the smoke cleared, the arena was revealed once again. There was nothing left of Junspinar, but robot pieces were scattered everywhere. The head of Bender was still inside the arena, and it was hard to tell if it was still working. some small noises started...sounding and there seemed to be some traces of life. the left eye slowly opened and he choked out, "bite my....shiny...metal...a$$...". Somehow, amazingly, Bender had survived, and with nothing left of Junspinar, Bender won the match.

## Chapter fifty 50 05 Q

Shmœg'nhœg'n vs. Gir

No beating around the bush this time. Junspinar was dead, and These damn battles are almost over. Shmœg'nhœg'n ran towards Gir, the leader of the evil dudes, and was ready to do anything neccesary to end this. Gir just sorta moved out of the way though, and then did a little dance. Shmœg'nhœg'n didn't want to see this crap, so he used a MeGa-Tail Extension move to make it grow leik 80 feet, and then swung it around in an attempt to knock down the dancing Gir. It was a bit hard to control though, and it ended up breaking off completely. Gir hadn't stopped dancing this whole time. He finally stopped though, and pressed a button on a little remote, making the invisible fighting robot appear behind him. He got in it and was ready to fight, forgetting that he was still visible and the very large extention cord that plugged into the back of it was as well. Shmœg'nhœg'n used some generic water-based attacks against it, but it really didn't help. He then circled behind it and broke the cord, which made it power down.

Gir didn't have any batteries, so he just left it there and made a spider-like machine come out of his backpack. The best way to describe it is that it was a bunch of long legs sticking out of the backpack, and Gir was the "body" of it. Anyway, he climbed all over the surrounding territory (it was kinda jagged, with a small cliff and some rocks strewn about in an otherwise normal field) while shooting some sort of laser. Shmœg'nhœg'n flew around in an attempt to dodge the shots, while shooting some more water that didn't have much of an effect. He then charged towards Gir, but was shot at the last minute and flew back. He got back up though, and somehow lifted a huge boulder, and threw it at Gir. It smahed one of the spider legs, and it conveniently exploded.

Gir, being shot up from the explosion, took off his dog suit and pressed a button on another remote, which made a funky pig...thing... fly by and he landed on it. Laughing like a lunitic, he rode on the flying pig as it was charging towards Shmœg'nhœg'n. Being smarter than people in movies, he went upwards instead of trying to outrun, or should I say outfly it. He then managed to fly down quickly and grab the tail of the pig, and pulled up onto the pig. Gir was well aware of this, and readied an attack. Shmœg'nhœg'n suddenly flew off, the pig smashed into a bridge, and the surprised Gir came flying out of yet another explosion.

Shmœg'nhœg'n then charged towards Gir, and tackled him in midair. While hurtling toward the ground, he threw Gir off towards the no-longer-invisible fighting robot. It started to wiggle a little, then toppled over and smashed Gir. After nearly a minute, Gir come out of the wreckage, but he was completely worn out. The battle was over, with Shmœg'nhœg'n being the winner. With 5 Companion victories, 2 ...other guys victories, and a tie, it was clear which was the stronger team. Now all that remains is the question lingering in everyone's heads of what will happen next...

## Chapter 51

The Companions struggled out of the large building where the league was held and walked to the nearby Strange Creature Center. they collapsed at the front desk and the pretty young woman healed them all. They sat down on one of the benches and told each other of their battles, all happy of their most recent victory. after a while, the Companions left the cozy Strange Creature Center to continue on the rough path of their quest, which they knew was almost over. some Strange Creatures tried to fight them along the way, but any one of the Companions could easily kill each one with one hit. Bargo was more furious than ever with Giordelli, and the taste of his death he knew was drawing near. out of the blue, a spaceship came down and took Bargo away. no, not really. instead, they were walking along the road and they fell into a covered hole, tumbling down a tunnel until they all fell into a small room, heaping into a pile. after many grunts, they were back on their feet and they looked around. there was a single door in this cubicle, and Bargo daringly opened it. he heard a small noise, but that was all. the door opened into an incredibly clean infinite hallway of doors, sharp in contrast to the dusty room they were in. sensing no danger, Bargo led the others into the hallway and the door closed behind them, making the quiet noise again. the companions looked behind them, and there was no door. just an infinite hallway, in both directions. they walked for a little while down the hallway, hoping they would find something. they eventually came upon a red door, where all the others were light green. they looked at each other and HADHAD opened it, leading them through. the door shut behind them. they were now in a dingy little room with garbage all over the floor, bookcases on the walls, and a desk right in front of them. on the desk was a very large and menacing computer, and in front of the desk was a man, asleep in his chair. the screen was completely black. the Companions did not dare to make a sound. suddenly, words came on the screen. they said "Wake up, Green Lantern." at that moment, the man woke up with a grunt and looked at the screen. "What the hell?" he said, proceeding to press CTRL+X and then ESC, neither of which did anything. now the screen was typing something new; it said, "The Matrix has you." "Dude, where the hell are we?" Shmoeg'nhoeg'n asked, and the man quickly swiveled around in his chair, almost falling over. when he saw the companions, he did fall over. he got back up and said, "Oh...its me, Green Lantern. I made you guys. I'm one of the authors of the Bargo the Bikdip trilogy." Junspinar fainted. HADHAD noticed that the computer now had something about a white rabbit on it. Green Lantern said, "You guys want something to drink?" "Uh...no thanks. We...just want to get back to our journey." Bargo put in. Green Lantern replied, "All in good time," when there was a knock at the door. GL opened it and there was a bunch of people all looking wasted. GL said "You know what, you guys are two hours late, and i have things to do. So this time, I'm sorry, but i'm not gonna give it to you. With that, he slammed the door shut and locked it. "I hate those guys...So, anything i can do for you guys? want some supplies in the story or anything?" "Well, we could use some generic healing drinks and some pills that bring people back to life." Bargo said. "Sure, anything. Well, i guess it's time for you guys to get back to your journey. Good Luck!" GL said and went over the bookcase and pulled out a thick, old-looking book and opened it up, taking out a key ring. HADHAD picked up Junspinar as GL found the right key and put in in the keyhole, opening it onto the path that the Companions were traveling on just a little bit ago. "Bye guys!" "See ya." The companions filed through the door and back onto the road, looking behind them to find the absence of a door. The Companions suddenly recieved many generic healing drinks such as Able Juices and some pills that bring SCs back to life. Happy but shaken, the Companions went on to the end of the story.

## ----------------Chapter 52 -----------

\*the first chapter written by both authors together\*

The companions continued along the dirt path without anything interesting happening. They spotted a small town up ahead and decided they would stop there for a while. They passed through a large gate that read “Welcome to Drakondrio City.” They saw twenty-five identical houses, each one more identical than the last. They chose a random house and went inside, taking possession of the building and killing all the inhabitants. They only then realized that they needed to ask the people a question, so they left their supplies in the house and went for a stroll to see the many FEATURES of the town. As they walked, they learned of many interesting things, but the most frequently mentioned place was the animal zoo. They were walking along when they spotted a man.

“Wait a second, isn’t that Jack Black?” asked Yukronsky.

“Yeah...I think it is. Maybe he will know where the animal zoo is.” CP chimed in. They went up to the man and asked, “Excuse me, do happen to know where the anim–“

“When you wake up in the morning and you don’t want-a the breakfast, what do you do? You go and get-a the Zomelette. Oh...sorry. Were you wanting to ask me a question?”

“Uh...yeah...do you know where the animal zoo is?”

“Yeah, it’s right there,” he said, pointing to a gate about three feet away saying in large, friendly pink letters “Animal Zoo.”

The companions stood there for a moment, simply pondering over their own lack of observance. After a few minutes, they headed in. They were watching some goats eating grain when a huge fireball came out of the ground, eventually coming back down and killing ALL of the animals. In the large crater, the companions noticed a staircase.

They began to walk towards the crater when a small leprechaun skipped by, shouting, “They’re after me lucky charms!” but unfortunately, the leprechaun was just a puppet controlled by an evil robot named Stanley Higgins. Bargo took the outfit off and the robot said, “Pies.” HADHAD burned him to the ground and they continued on to the staircase. They went down the stairs and were in.....................................................................................a bathroom. There was a single snow globe on the toilet, which they disregarded and left. Pokémaster Ian said, “Hey, that was just like that time when I went in that bathroom, and there was a snow globe on the sink, but this time it was on the toilet! Maybe they’re related...” They all dumped him in a ditch and moved on, but not after Atmobob kicked him a few times and Ceeps peed on him. They saw a large, menacing building in the distance, which they headed towards for some reason. When they were at the door, Ian somehow just....moved out of the shadows, without moving his feet. They all looked at him and shrugged, ringing the doorbell. A man popped his head out of the door and yelled, “You can’t use the doorbell! You have to knock!” proceeding to put his head back in and close the door. They stood there for a second, and then knocked. For some reason, the guy that had just come out took freaking TEN MINUTES to come back and let them in.

## **Chapter 53**

**-The Once and Final Chapter-**

In the building, they noticed some freaky-style posters on the wall, showing pictures of posters. They disregarded these as well and continued...on...down...the way... “Monsieur Giordelli will be here in a moment. Please, make yourselves at home. The fridge is over there.” The random butler said. They took some beers from the fridge, unzipped their pants, and sat on some poofy couches. “Oh man, somebody spiked the beer...” Junspinar said.

Bargo replied, “Tengo un gato en mis pantalones.”

“But you aren’t wearing any pants.” HADHAD said.

“Oh...........right.”

Suddenly, there was a poof of light that said “poof” in a monotone voice. There was a short Hispanic man wearing a cape standing there, and he was coughing from the light poof. “I AM \*cough\* GIORDE\*cough\*LLI\*cough cough cough\*.”

“Um...yeah. Sure you are.” the companions said, zipping up their pants and arising from the couches. “Hey, I though we killed you in the first book.” HADHAD said. Bargo started crying because this was the first time he met Giordelli. Some nearby musicians started playing sappy music. “Oh shut up...” someone said. CP decided to go over to Giordelli and ripped his costume off, revealing that he really wasn’t Giordelli at all. “How did you know?” he asked.

“Well, I fought the real Giordelli once already and he looked nothing like this.”

“Crap. Well, I am really Arnoldô IV. ...Nice to meet you all. I’m going to leave now.” he said, walking away and out the door. He looked like a badly drawn Spherio with a hat that says “hat” on it, fairy wings, boots, glasses, a cane, and a hook for a left hand. This is of no importance now. Bargo suddenly ran out the door and as it slowly closed, the companions saw him chase down Arnoldô IV and tackle him from behind, beating him to a pulp and then biting his face off, killing him. He walked calmly back to the building.

Suddenly, inexplicably, with no reason as to why it did why where it goeses, the real-life Giordelli, who was alive in more ways than 4, fell out of the ground on a parachute. He stood up, dusted himself off, and detached the parachute. “I am the real Giordelli. You shall fight me now. Eight on eight, all at the same time! NOWWWW!” and the battle started immediately.

Giordelli sent out Walter Khronkhyte, Shmoog’nhoog’n, Evil, Skrumpei, Über, Cloujo, Glitchamon, and one other that was quite mysterious. Junspinar came to fight Walter Khronkhyte. WK advanced through the thick, solid fog and tried on new hats. Joonburong, Junspinar’s bestest friend who had never appeared before, was going to “”“”“”help”“”“”“, but it died before even living. Junspinar slid forward like a weird, amorphous dolphin while Walter Khronkhyte stood there both menacingly and retartedly. Junspinar used PIE attack, but it had so little effect that WK was healed approximately 857 life points. He \*wint\* up to Junspinar and used LARGE BITE, which is even stronger than BIG BITE. Junspinar lost approximately 857 life points, so he used PIE attack on himself to heal back to normal, and then drilled underground for no apparent reason. WK looked around like a dumbass, apparently not noticing what just happened, and then was hit by Junspinar as he came up under him. Junspinar drilled upwards in that maneuvar \*spelled correctly\* and hit WK's... beanbag chair in the process. As he FLAIRK'd in agony, he suddenly stopped. Yes, you heard me right. Despite how little sense that made, it caused Junspinar to grow about two inches, and then nearly die. He used approximately 857 Water Shots in approximately 857 milliseconds, and then the floor had approximately 857 hundredths of a millimeter of water on it. This was enough to kill approximately 857 micro-organisms, but didn't harm Walter at all. He used another LARGE BITE, and Junspinar lost.

CP decided to take on Skrumpei, the happy blob thing. They smiled at each other for a while, and then CP threw some cheese at Skrumpei. Thinking CP was being nice, Skrumpei ate the cheese, but it turned out it was diseased and Skrumpei, without ever attacking, died slowly in front of CP.

Ian was fighting Shmoog'nhoog'n. Shmoog’nhoog’n was so stupid he didn't know what a pickle was. This is unimportant. Anyway, Ian wasn't able to be very gay to Shmoog’nhoog’n because it was so hideously ugly and dumb. He tried using his only other actual move, the hair bomb. In short, it didn't work very well. Shmoog’nhoog’n then proceeded to fire a freaking humongous white energy ball he had been charging up the whole time, and that was the end of the battle with another loss on Bargo’s team.

Meanwhile, Yukronsky was battling Über. Über INSTANTEOUSTANECROUSTENLY shot an Angry Stare at Yukronsky, who was consequently paralyzed for exactly seven and a half seconds. Über grew twenty times his size in this amount of time and right when Yukronsky healed, Über stepped on him. Luckily, Yukronsky got partly out of the way in time and only one wing was crushed. This meant no flying moves. Yukronsky used Furious Squawk in his anger, making Über return to normal size and turn to stone. Unfortunately, he was already made of stone. Uber lunged at Yukronsky, harder than ever, and tackled him to the ground, also knocking the wind out of him. Just because he could, Über broke Yukronsky’s other wing, as well as both his legs. Then, he ate Yukronsky completely while Yukronsky was still alive. Yukronsky clearly lost.

HADHAD and Evil were also battling it out. HADHAD immediately shot a large fireball at Evil, but it just absorbed it. Its eyes glowed dark black and it just continued to float in the air. HADHAD was about to attack, but then he was mesmerized by the eyes and stood there like an idiot. Evil slowly floated over to him and just exuded a black aura that took all of HADHAD’s life away. He collapsed to the ground and Evil had won.

Shmœg'nhœg'n was paired up against Cloujo. It was a basically boring fight, where Cloujo flew around (not being damaged by Shmœg'nhœg'n's water attacks) and used lightning attacks. Shmœg'nhœg'n managed to dodge most of them, but the few that hit were pretty strong. He flew up and tried to do some physical attacks, but the move-through-able-ness-ism wasn’t working on Cloujo. Shmœg'nhœg'n was able to eat it though, so it did. He won.

In Atmobob and Glitchamon's fight, some stuff happened \*oh no\*. Atmobob was going to use his standard Dark Night and then Happy Day combo, which was usually deadly, but ...he did. The Dark Night made Glitchmon's outlines dissapear, and then Happy Day made it lose its color. This wasn't wise though, because Glitchamon lived and now it was invisible. Glitchamon used its powers of corruption to make some furry, dancing flowers appear all over. It also turned Atmobob into a small Asian girl named COOLTRAINER\*female symbol\*, with the attacks Water Gun, Water Gun again, Fly, Ice Beam, Digest, Throw, Spank, and Charles Xavier. This was ...different. Atmobob used both Water guns at the same time to try to find where Glitchamon was ...existing, and he eventually did when it was RIGHT in front of him. He quickly used Digest to get rid of that taco lunch that was giving him a stomachache, and then Fly. He went up. Not much of a move. So then he used Charles Xavier, which consisted of a quick bright flash of light, and then Glitchamon became slightly visible. Atmobob used Ice Beam on it, but Glitchamon turned it into a pillow, which, as may be logically expected, did nothing. Glitchamon then made a hole in space-time and went in, then appeared inside Atmobob. Thanks to the freaky coincidence that it was his turn to move, Atmobob used Digest again and Glitchamon lost.

Giordelli, with and evil smirk on his face, pulled out a multicolored SC-cube, much like a Rubix Cube. He threw it with a passion and out came the mysterious SC, an odd-looking Small Woodland Creature. For some reason, Bargo thought he recognized this particular SWC. Just as he realized who it was, Giordelli said, “Yes...that’s right, Bargo. It’s your good old friend, Small Woodland Creature. When he was sucked into that other dimension, I went in and brought him back out after the battle. I taught him the dark ways and now he works for me, and he is incredibly powerful. Good luck!” SWC lunged at Bargo, but he sidestepped and SWC flew past. As much as Bargo did not want to hurt his friend, he knew he must, and he charged up a Triple Eye Beam. SWC rounded back on him with incredible agility and, catching Bargo off guard, smashed into him full force. But Bargo focused all his energy on charging the Eye Beam and it was ready by the time they had stopped moving. SWC got up and was immediately hit with an extremely powerful Triple Eye Beam. He lost half of his life and went flying into the distance. By now, all the others were done fighting. It was 4 to 3, with Giordelli’s team winning, so Bargo had to win to tie. He looked back at SWC and noticed that this building did not have a roof. As he was flying through the air, SWC shook himself back to consciousness and realized what was going on. Just then, he was struck with a lightening bolt. Bargo and Giordelli were back in the arena, just watching it all. But when SWC was hit with that lightening bolt, something strange happened. His dark influence was wiped away and he was good again. For some reason, he grew wings. He now flew all the way back to the arena, never actually going outside of the ring and touching the ground. He landed nicely on the ground and looked at Bargo. Bargo saw he was good and refrained from fighting, but Giordelli did not notice. SWC walked up to Bargo and told him what he must do. SWC would let Bargo kill him so that he would win the match. Bargo objected, but SWC told him he must. Grudgingly, Bargo agreed and SWC stood back. Bargo charged up the most powerful UBERBEAM he could muster. “What are you doing, you fool?! Fight him, will you?!” Giordelli shouted hysterically. Bargo let loose the UBERBEAM and SWC was instantly defeated. Bargo won the match, tying the battle. “Hey...what just happened? How will this be resolved?” Giordelli asked. Bargo turned on him and charged. With a look of fright on his face, Giordelli turned and began to run away.

Bargo wasn't going to let him get away with this. As Giordelli looked around for something to escape with, he found a little pony. He rode on it, very slowly. Bargo also rode a pony just as slowly, and in about 4 minutes they had barely moved 30 feet. Bargo was getting sick of it. "Aw, the hell with this!" He got up and slowly walked over to Giordelli, but was still faster than the pony. Giordelli saw him and shrieked like a girl, then jumped off as the pony exploded for some reason. He conveniently landed in a hovercar thing, and sped off into the distance. Bargo found another one and gave chase.

They were both going down a crappy little road in a desert, dodging the many cacti and large rocks in the way. Bargo was having difficulty catching up, so he tried pressing the various buttons and messing with the other controls in the vehicle. Along with starting the radio –“...do you really want to huuurt me...”– and making some cookies shoot out, he also found a laser thing. He shot it like mad, and eventually hit Giordelli. Keep in mind that he was quite far away, so it was hard to hit him. Also keep in mind that Bargo has no hands or anything to push these buttons. Anyway, this was enough to slow down Giordelli's car enough, so Bargo could catch up... enough. Giordelli shot a banana peel out of the tailpipe, which Bargo ran over and spun out. Bargo shot like mad again, and this time hit Giordelli enough \*damn it, stop using that word\* to actually destroy the car. Bargo kept driving, and actually ran over Giordelli. Too bad this was a HOVERcar, because it went over him. He turned around and jumped out of the car, and it kept going and crashed into Giordelli's smoking one, and they both exploded.

Bargo grabbed him with a look of satisfaction. He punched him for a while, and then spun him around above his head and threw him to the dusty ground. “That was for all the pain I’ve suffered! I HATE YOU!” Bargo said, and with that, he picked up Giordelli again and started beating on him further. He eventually noticed Giordelli was lying limp and not responding to any of his beatings. Bargo set him down on the ground and he groaned, then spit up some blood.

“I might have deserved that, but please let me talk. Don’t you want to know about your past?” Giordelli croaked out.

“Of course I want to know. I think now would be the time to tell me.”

“Well alright then. I am not your father, but you never thought I was so that is irrelevant. I found you on a road a long time ago, abandoned by your mother who could not take care of you. I took you in, I was caring to you, but you began to grow too powerful. With my giant evil empire growing, I could not let anything stand in my way, not even my beloved Bargo. I had to put you in a cage and chain you down. When you tried to escape, I beat you. Later on, I knew the feds were coming to do their regular check of my facilities, and I panicked. I knew that if they found you in the cage, I would lose my empire for sure. So in my frenzy I took you out of your cage, drove to an empty field in the country, and dumped you off somewhere in the middle. I took one last look at you and thought I would never meet you again, but here you stand before me, having defeated me in battle. I congratulate you, but please do not kill me.”

With a tear in his eye, Bargo asked, “Why shouldn’t I, after all you’ve put me through? I have spent my entire life looking for you, looking to kill you, and now that I have you, do you really think I am going to listen to you and spare you’re life? Think again.” With that, Bargo began to charge up a special move. Bargo’s eyes began to glow and the sky turned dark; the clouds gathered above him. Giordelli did not know what was going on and was scared. But in the back of his mind he knew what he did was wrong and he was ready for death. Bargo was just about to release the attack, but then something happened that he did not expect. His companions had been looking for him and had finally found him. They realized what he was doing and grabbed him, turning him to the side. The massive attack was moved out of the way of Giordelli and instead took out a nearby city. Bargo’s eyes cleared and so did the sky. He collapsed to the ground, completely exhausted. The companions looked at Giordelli and he looked back, but only for an instant. He quickly got up and ran away, but the companions did not chase him. The companions picked up Bargo and continued to the next SC Center.

We didn’t want the book to end with the word “Center,” so let’s just say, “time.”

## What Happens to Them Later

Giordelli was affected by what happened with Bargo and the companions and realized what an ass he was. He goes on to stop his evil corporation, and instead lives a normal life in the country with his own SC breeding grounds.

Bargo, although a bit sad that he did not kill Giordelli, pursues his life-long dream of becoming a Pizza Delivery Boy. He delivers pizzas to such people as Bill Nye the Science Guy and the Unibomber. He seeks out a good psychiatrist and finds one, and he receives therapy for THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

HADHAD, ironically enough, becomes a fireman. He is used for training by setting things on fire, including other Fire Department members. He stars in several popular video games, including Bargo.qst and HADHAD.qst, which...are the same game. Bargo does too, but he already has enough fame. HADHAD creates magic packages for those who will pay for them.

Yukronsky starts a company that supplies “all the surprises” to those Snorkies that want to evolve. “We offer surprises at low prices” is their motto. Later on, Yukronsky is caught for stealing a car and smashing it into the Alamo, all while under the influence of cocaine. He is put in jail for life.

Junspinar, as crappy as he is, becomes the richest SC in the world. No one is quite sure how he gets there, but it is probably something involving a duck and a whistle. He also is known to steal money from charities. On the opposite side of the cactus, he saves a baby from certain death by falling off a bridge...that he throws it off.

Pokémaster Ian decides to take his fame and glory (yeah right) and move to France. While there, he meets the gay lover he has always been searching for, and they live a very...homosexual life. He also gets a desk job with steady pay and health benefits, but however, he hates this boring job and quits, never finding a job again, losing his gay lover, and living on the street for a few more years until someone pisses on him, but the piss turns out to be infected, and he can’t afford to get it healed, so he dies a long and painful death.

Captain Pringle decides to take a job in the Internet world, starting a message board called The Ultimate Board of Cool Stuff, which reaches a height of 4,292 members and 2,912 hits a day. Everyone thinks he is cool and worships him, but in reality, he lives a depressing life with no friends and a cat named Henry.

Shmœg’nhœg’n suffers a stroke, and spends several years in a catholic hospital. After leaving, his life is changed forever and he becomes a Unitarian Universalist. He smokes a lot of pot, but he also gives money to the charities that Junspinar steals from. Ironically, Junspinar supplies Shmœg’nhœg’n all of his financial needs.

Atmobob ends up working for “the man.” Nobody knows what this means, but he does it. He meets a female Atmobob named Atmobarbara. They have five children, one of which is black. He works at the aforementioned job until he finally pays off the mortgage on his house and retires. This would have been a very normal and boring life, but one day he is walking home and there is a large, rainbow-colored blob that is so interesting, he walks into it and is never found again.