WWE 2K17 Tournament

*"Everyone has an asshole. You would know that if you took astronomy"*
―*James*

>
>
>

**WWE 2K17 Tournament** is a series where members of Cow Chop fight 1v1 in the game WWE 2K17 while James commentates.

## Trivia

* *Because James is a huge fan of wrestling, he designed all of the Cow Chop crew's characters within the game.*
* *This is the first series to incorporate every single member apart of Cow Chop (besides Brett).*

## Quotes

* "***I do know one thing. I know Joe's weakness. It's his big fucking nose"** -* *Trevor*
* **"*I can't believe I got beat by an asian"*** *- Anna referring to Aron*
* **"*I hate you guys"*** *- Aron stating he hates the males*
* "***Everyone has an asshole. You would know that if you took astronomy"** - James*

## Translations

***At the bottom of the description in each Cow Chop video there are two phrases, both in a different language that are sometimes related to that video. | The following are the translations for each video.***

***NOTE:* Most of these are meant to not make any sense.**

**OGRE vs JEW STEEL CAGE MATCH | Episode 1**

1. **Spanish** → **English** - *"Trevor's alternative life as a fighter is a stranger. Although ugly, he is one of the best fighters of our time. He has fame, he has the money, but he does not have the appearance or happiness of truly discovering life. All he has is wrestling now."*
2. **Arabic** → **English** - *"The Valentines have saved his nose from many pitfalls, but unfortunately he can not save him from this crazy hit down from Trevor."*

**INTERGENDER SMACKDOWN | Episode 2**

1. **Swedish → English** - *"Zeus became ruler over the earth after a wrestling match when he defeated Kronos, his father. Wrestling was referred to in the oldest book in the world = the Bible. 1896 founder of the modern Olympic Games Baron Pierre de Coubertin called wrestling as one of the "Basic Research Sports" of the Olympic Games."*
2. **Polish → English** - *"Cow Chop would like to make it clear that any racist and / or sexist jokes made in this movie were pure satire. And funny."*

**BODYBUILDER vs RUSSIAN TWINK | Episode 3**

1. **Turkish → English** - *"Greasy wrestling, Turkish national sprawl and wrestlers occupy themselves in olive oil. This wrestling match lasted many days at the start, but in 1975 the time was limited to 40 minutes."*
2. **Bosnian → English** - *"While everyone assumes the "G" stands for "Green Bay," oval logo actually is an acronym for "greatness." The Packers held a stamp on the logo which was created equipment manager George Braisher back in 1961."*

**LOSER REMATCH | Episode 4**

1. **Bangla → English** - *"Human hands 27 has not been done, including bone, sesamoid bone, the number which vary among the people. Whose 14 fingers are phalanges (closest, peasant endpoint). Metacarpals have bone fingers and wrist connectivity."*
2. **Kurdish → English** - *"If you leave a like on this video, Joe into her room in the night creep and stare in silence with you, until sunrise."*

**ULTIMATE BACKSTAGE BRAWL | Episode 5**

1. **French → English** - *"Never store onions in plastic bags. This will accelerate germination and deterioration due to lack of air circulation. NO NEAREST POTATOES: Potatoes and onions should not be stored together. They release gases that accelerate the deterioration of the other."*
2. **Russian → English** - *"Can you believe the privileged white man won? I have not seen a victory that's frustrating since Trump."*

**TABLES LADDERS AND CHAIRS | Episode 6**

1. **Indonesian → English** - *"Earth's atmosphere is about 300 miles (480 kilometers) thick, but most of it is within 10 miles (16 km) of the surface. Air pressure decreases with altitude. At sea level, the air pressure is about 14.7 pounds per square inch (1 kilogram per square centimeter)."*
2. **Slovak → English** - *"It should be noted that despite being called the Table Ladder carts, chairs are not used once."*

**THE GRAND FINALE | Episode 7**

1. **Korean → English** - *"Oh, Chicago! Rock participated in this building's first wrestling mania (WrestleMania)! You know, Rock did not tell anyone this, but Rock was nervous. But something happened that night - The Rock decided to bring it! There was an informal birth that night. Team Import It's not just a slogan, it's a way of life! Rock brings, and Rock fans get it! When you bring the team, you knock on the door! When you hit the wall! ANYBODY, you ... you roll your fear, your anxiety, your worries, everything into the ball, turn the look of the child, do not tick the EM."*
2. **Ukrainian → English** - *"Pocahontas" was a nickname, which means "naughty one" or "spoiled child." Her real name was Matoaka. Legend has it that she saved John Smith's heroic effort to stick to his father's death in 1607 - it would have been about 10 or 11 at the time."*

**MONEY IN THE BANK | Episode 8**

1. **French → English** - *"Robert Pershing Wadlow (USA) (born at 6:30 am in Alton, Illinois, USA on February 22, 1918), the greatest man in medical history for whom there is irrefutable evidence, was deemed to be the last To be measured on June 27, 1940 2.72 m (8 ft. 11.1 in.) High."*
2. **Korean → English** - *"The last WWE 2k17 video. Appointment. Did you enjoy this series? I understand if you did not. Enjoying featuring such sexists and racists can be difficult."*