A Christmas Carol The Video Game

I like A Christmas Carol so much, I mean seriously. I will watch any version of the film no matter what. My favourite version of the film is the version released by Disney in 2009 which stars Jim Carrey in the title role. I worked at Disney as an intern around the time that the film was in production, and while Robert Zemeckis and his staff worked hard to make the project as sweet as a bowl of Christmas Carol; Disney really wanted a video game to coincide with it. I know next to nothing about video games, but I do know how to tell the time just like my kid who likes Coco Pops and Star Wars just a bit much, Just a bit though, as we are both modest clam eaters all things considered. Thankfully, however I picked up a book from my old shopping store which revealed exactly what to do when making a video game. A Christmas Carol to my knowledge didn't really seem to lend itself that well to a video game, but perhaps now was the time to change all of that. For the next several days, I was hard at work on making a video game adaptation, but so far the only level that I had animated was Ebenezer Scrooge flying across London on a magic carpet. Scrooge looked proper rancid as I had programmed the game using the textures of a PlayStation 1 I found at the back of the parking lot outside the studio that made Jim Carrey's Christmas Carol as I like to call in the house of the lamb. Needing to get the game done in time and being worried about missing the deadline, I paid a small fine of 60 grand to a weird man with an incredibly long beard who promised to make something extra special. The man's name was Ignacio Kinder. I thanked the man much profusely for helping me in my time of need, so perhaps I'm not so dumb after all. About a week later, Ignacio approached me in a Perkins and handed me the game which was wrapped in a packet of cod liver, and the case felt silky smooth to the touch. "Why does it feel so smooth?" I had asked confused. "You're probably just imagining things." Ignacio said in a condescending tone of voice as he proceeded to tap the top of my head, though it would be more fair to say that he slapped the top of it with his immense strength.

Not wanting to worry dear ole Robert Zemeckis, I opted to play a bit of the game myself first just to make sure that everything was in order. The game was ready to play on all consoles even the Atari Jagari. Blimey! Even the Atari Jagari! Didn't ole Ebby get around ay? Scrooge came on screen, and he looked really fowl. He was pulling a face like he had just smelt a good ole fart. I had farted before booting up the game, but I didn't think that he would notice. I should also mention that was playing this game on an Xbox. Cause I'm Xbox while they're more Atari. A brief sketch then appeared which featured a jar of mayonnaise talking to a bottle of tobassco. The bottle said, "I love Taylor Swift," which caused the mayonnaise jar to pull an incredibly shocked face. It then showed Batman and Spider-Man in a white void looking room. Spider-Man was acting really stupidly as he kept talking about much he loved people and how much he loved candy cigarettes. The stoic Batman looked incredibly awkward and was just standing there though you could tell from his vacant expression that was somewhere he'd rather be, and I found myself wishing that I was as lucky as he. The game then began with Scrooge inside a shed in Tidmouth where he was shown observing the body of his recently deceased partner Jacob Marley. Marley looked like he deep in thought even though he was dead, and Scrooge just looked at him in ps1 style graphics as he said, "yes quite dead, as a doornail." The undertaker, the really creepy one from the film who has possible feelings for Scrooge given the suggestive brows he raises as he leans towards Scrooge slowly in an attempt to get him hand over extra dosh as cost for Marley to be buried in Burgundy. The first level was trying to figure out what you could give the undertaker instead of money, and a small menu came up which featured options for what could be given instead. There was a banana, a packet of used chewing gum, and a biography from Wallace. I ignored all that, and instead clicked on the packet of Starbursts berry and cream flavour hoping that would be enough to turn away the wily undertaker. It appeared to do the trick, as the undertaker took the packet of sweets into his moist hands. He thanked Scrooge for his time before heading into London Town. He sat down on a bench to enjoy his sweeties when a man in Victorian carb, a horrid haircut, and Nike shoes came to dance for the undertaker. He asked if the undertaker was eating berry and cream Starbursts, and when the undertaker confirmed that he was the man started dancing as he got extra close to the undertaker's face while pulling a massive slasher smile. The next level featured the Lord Mayor's head chef Big Boyce giving a chicken leg to some children that were extra hungry on this fine Christmas Eve. "Ah Merry Christmas, from his lordship the Mayor!" Boyce proclaimed as he threw the chicken leg. This level featured the boys chasing after a dog named Chilly Charlie who had snatched the chicken leg up before they even had time to think about it. The dog was programmed to run faster than the boys, so I failed this level miserably.

A game over screen then popped up which featured Scrooge sitting at his counting house looking over the bridal purse. He looked at the screen as he asked, "giving up?" There were two options, "yes," and "no." I clicked no, and the game came back to show Scrooge arriving at his counting house. Seven Christmas Eves later, Scrooge is shown counting tickets for the gun show while Bob Crachit was struggling to keep himself warm by the candle light. I hate Bob Crachit. To me, he is the main antagonist of the Christmas Carol Cinematic Universe. He has like 20 kids, and he wonders why he doesn't have the funds to get Tiny Tim the operation that could render him cured as a bore you'd serve your cheating husband for tea, he claims to love the test little does he know it's actually a Molisch. In a Metal Gear Solid like scene, Bob had to try and sneak his way over to Scrooge's desk without Scrooge noticing so that he could pickpocket some of the coal that was in the bag next to Scrooge's table. Whenever you made a noise like stepping on a creaky bit of the floorboard, Scrooge would stop what he was doing, and grab a pair of binoculars to look at you even though he was only just across the way from his clerk's tank so he didn't really need the binoculars. Scrooge was infamous anyway for hiding in the trees and using the binoculars to spy. Thankfully, this game didn't include the scene where Scrooge's nephew Fred comes to ask for his uncle to dine with him. Fred did show up, but he got stuck while walking into the door and he just stood there frozen as he kept saying, "Merry Christmas Uncle," over and over and over again. A screen briefly flashed up on screen which featured a man brutally killing his friend with a Wii remote as it asked rhetorically, "don't you think you've had enough?" Fuck you. Two charity collectors came in to shake Scrooge down, one of the men was an incredibly fat son of a gun while his friend was lesser but still on the fat side. "We would like to buy the poor; some meat, drink, and means of warmth." The collector said. Scrooge didn't listen. Seeing that Scrooge was not going to donate and not wanting his friend to eat him as he was a cannibal after all, the lesser fat friend whistled as he was very talented at the art of whistling having been trained by Walter himself while they ate dinner in the kitchen of Whistler's Mother. They would just sit there quietly eating their dinner. Anyways, a man in a tank top and baseball cap then came into the room, and proceeded to pin Scrooge against the wall, as he pulled out a packet of Walkers Crisps from Scrooge's ass and demanded that Scrooge pay for them. Scrooge sounded awkward as he was walked to a Tesco Extra in Brixton where he paid for the crisps to a cashier who really didn't want to touch crisps that had come out from Scrooge's ass.

The game then cut to show Scrooge arriving at his mansion, but Jacob Marley's face didn't appear on the door knocker. Scrooge just said, "pooh pooh," as he made his way inside the house caring not a button for the darkness. for darkness was cheap and Scrooge liked it. Scrooge crept his way up the steps when a horror sequence like something out of Resident Evil began to play when a shadowed horse and carriage appeared to be on the staircase next to Scrooge. I had to button mash the control until I got to the stop of the staircase being careful not to get run down by the shadowed horse. This was partly based on a deleted scene from the movie where Scrooge sees a horse and carriage on the staircase, and he just looks at impassively like Tom Hagen. Scrooge got into his night clothes, and he was dressed like a hotdog. Scrooge went to bed straight away, but he woke up like ten minutes later as I had to cook him something to eat. Scrooge was trying to cook up an ormlette, but he got it all over the place. Not to brag or anything, but I'm actually quite decent when it comes to cooking in real life, but Scrooge wasn't as this part in the game stressed me out because Scrooge had a tiny chef on his shoulder who just like the witch doctor told him what to do or something. The chef was none other than Wendell who sadly lost his cool when he saw that Scrooge had a box of cinnamon toast crunch on his bed board, and Wendell began eating from the box not even bothering to coat it in milk as he had really fallen that far down. Man down, more like Wendell down am I right? Scrooge went back to sitting at his chair by the fireplace, and the bells began to ring a ding a ding banana phone. A slice of baloney fell on Scrooge's head, and he picked it up and smelt it as he said, "it's very beautiful." The door to the bedroom then swung open as Jacob Marley in chains entered, and he looked very sinister. He was green instead of blue which made me feel a tad bit uneasy, but I like Taylor Swift as well so I decided to just shake it off. Marley cried at Scrooge for being so cruel. "Why you gotta be so cruel, don't you know I'm human too?" Jacob sang. Scrooge made a snarky joke about Marley being more gravy than a grave which caused the ghost to lose his shit, and he proceeded to wrap Ebenezer up in chains. Ebby looked horrified as he was dragged out from his bedroom into the early evening sky by Marley's chains. Scrooge flew through the sky, and the aim of the level was to float through rings as if this was Superman 64 or something, and just like that game this seemingly simple task was neigh on impossible. There were ghosts everywhere in the sky including one playing an accordian, and a Victor Meldrew looking ghost who was crying because he couldn't help a man sell his beloved pea soup. The man selling pea soup was named Dick Weller, and he owed Scrooge a lot of farthings. I've seen his name in Scrooge's ledger. He was very attached to me was Dick! Ha ha!

Like he was King Kong or something, Victor Meldrew began beating his chest violently when he turned around and saw Scrooge flying in the sky. He pulled an incredibly shocked face as he began speeding towards Scrooge, and you had to hit the a and b button before he got to you, but I have very bad reflexes as a result of an incident in school when my best mate Steven threw a rugby ball at my chest which nearly caused my intestines to fall out. He's actually my ex best mate now if you couldn't already tell. Victor Meldrew crashed into Scrooge and sent him flying all the way back to his house. I think you were supposed to fail the quick time event as all of the ghosts in the sky including Jacob Marley and Victor Meldrew then disappeared in a cloud of smoke as Scrooge quickly got into bed, and drifted off into a dreamless sleep. A time card came on screen which read, "several hours later," and Scrooge was shown waking up in bed with cold breath when the curtains on his bed opened to reveal the Ghost of Christmas Past. Oh! The Ghost of Christmas Past was always creepy to me, bro looks like a candle and he got right up to Scrooge's face as he said in a soft Irish whisper, "your past." The Ghost of Christmas Past and Scrooge walked over to the window where the ghost looked very shocked at all of the dead insects that lied on it as a result of Scrooge battering them with his custom made slippers. The ghost opened the window up, as he and Scrooge were going to be flying to the past, but Scrooge mentioned that he was mortal and would fall like a ball. "Ah, but a touch of my hand there, and you will be cheesy." I couldn't understand a word of what the ghost said there, but he touched Scrooge's chest which made him look very shocked. I guess Ignacio bless him loved Superman 64, as this level was another copycat of that game and you had to fly through all the rings in the snowy snow, and when Scrooge arrived at his school his classmates from the past actually saw him and the ghost instead of them being invisible. Scrooge and his chums the Chipper Chums took part in a snowman building competition, and whoever built the best snowman would get to eat the coveted tin of spam I am. I controlled Scrooge, and made him enter a small cave on the other side of the school house where he came face to face with a horrifying looking snowman. The snowman chased Scrooge to the end of the schoolyard, but Scrooge and I as the player failed to realise that the snowman was actually a benevolent figure who just wanted some ice skates so he could skate across the snowy pond which was covered in ice, and it was so much ice that a seal was trapped under there and when it tried to stick it's head out from the ice it got a nasty bonk right on the nosey. How sad. The nose started bleeding, but I had no time to care about the dog fish hybrid known as Johnny B Seal now.

Scrooge and The Ghost of Christmas Past headed into the school where they saw Scrooge's younger self on his lonesome playing Sega Dreamcast when Strombolli came in. Ignacio had made it known to me that Stromboli was his favourite Disney character, and that he often used Stromboli as a self insert character. Strombolli in this game appeared to be based off on Ali Baba a minor character from the book. Stromboli had a mighty ass that he rode upon into the school, and he gave Scrooge a bag of coins and told him to give them to him or something. Young Scrooge walked out from the school with the coins in his hands when he ran into his father who had gone Amish for the holidays, and he ordered Scrooge to come along with him as they had a lot of work to do and he need someone's help to harvest the fields. This scene was weird. The horse and cart that Scrooge and his father were in ended up crashing into an old oak tree, and Scrooge had to help his father with getting the wheels back on the carriage as his father wanted Scrooge to be a mechanic. For some section, you had to turn the wheel and bolt it into place, but I failed miserably and the wheel ended up rolling down the street all the way to Hushaby Mountain. "Oh Scrooge!" Cried the father at the top of his lungs. Why would he be calling his son by his surname? That's pretty rude. This game was something of a mini game collection as the next part was a Dance Dance Revelation style scene. At Fezziwig's Christmas party, Scrooge was dancing like a mad man with his love Belle, and you had to dance with her using the button prompts that show up on screen, and you had to hit all of the button prompts before the timer ran out otherwise Fezziwig would appear on screen to waggle his finger at you in a very nasty way. The fiddler fell into a huge bathtub of wine which delighted Fezziwig, and I managed to beat the dance with ease. I played a lot of Jungle Book Groove Party back in the day. The game then shat itself as Fezziwig kept saying, "may I present? May i present? May I present..." over and over again. He was still saying it as the game cut to the part in the film where Belle tells Scrooge to go and eat a mattress. Belle was actually something of a gold digger in this game as she left Scrooge not because he was too greedy, but because he refused to buy her grocery bags of the Iceland variety. She left Scrooge and headed to the town square look at Quasi there, and as Scrooge you had to try and beat her to her new apartment where she bunked with a man who would buy all of the bags that she could ever want, however the man was actually in love with Terry Crews, but this was very taboo back in the 1800's so he was forced to marry Belle to appease his parents. Belle eventually grew to regret her gold digging ways as she wrote a note to Scrooge asking for him to meet her in Paris when it sizzles like the ant, but Past Scrooge threw the letter into the fireplace much to Present Day Scrooge's anger who cried, "you fool!"

Present Day Scrooge charged at the Ghost of Christmas Past, as a boss battle then occurred. You had to try and cover the candle head of the ghost with a candle topper, and he would move out of the way before you could get close enough to him, but I eventually managed to extinguish the ghost. Fezziwig had stopped saying, "may I represent," thank otter as the game cut to show Scrooge in his living room awaiting a visit from The Ghost of Christmas Present. The ghost had decorated the entire living room into a Christmas paradise with lights everywhere and a tree which hung from the mantle. Scrooge looked disgusted at what had happened to his living room, and tried to leave only to find that the door had been bolted shut much to his sadness as Scrooge needed his walking stick and now he walked like an old geezer towards the ghost who said, "touch my robe." Scrooge looked really disturbed when he approached the throbbing robe, and he gave it a good pull which caused the entire level to cut the Story On Bob Crachit. Bob Crachit was shown leaving Scrooge And Marley's when he decided to surprise Tiny Tim by getting him the one present he always wanted, a horse carousel music box. Bob's darling wife Emily who was an old hag in this movie gave Bob a farthing to go into town to get the carousel, but Bob who was 4.6 decided to head into his local stretch parlour to see if the owner one Harold 'Stretch' Joseph by name could help him out. Bob was laid down on a table, and he was stretched out from here to New York City by Stretch who promised Bob that he would make him as tall as the Empire State Building. It actually worked for a while anyway, as when Bob Crachit left the parlour he was as lanky as a plank and made his way back home for Christmas dinner with his family, but as a result of decompression when Bob finally returned home he had shrunk back to being his normal size. Inside the house of Crachit, you had to play musical chairs which ended with Bob accidentally sitting on top of Tiny Tim crushing his already bent legs even further. Scrooge was watching all of this from afar with The Ghost of Christmas Present who just shrugged as he said, "if he is die, he had better do it, and decrease the surplus population." "Scrooge and The Ghost then left the Crachit House and walked up the road towards Fred's pad. Fred was in his house walking the boxing match on the telly with a frog husband and wife that he had recently boarded with. Despite being described as poor by Scrooge in both the book and film, Fred appeared to be quite wealthy as he had a large house with maids in his employ as well as having a massive war chest whatever that meant. Fred had to help the frogs with sorting out a dispute regarding the trade unionists in the garment centre or something, but then it turned into a massive karaoke style sing along with Fred singing a song called The Master's Cat which sounds like an Elvis song if it was dipped in wax. Making his way into the kitchen, Scrooge came across the chefs as they cooked on the cook. There was a plate on the table which had a large steel covering. "Merciful Heavens, what is this!?" Cried Scrooge as he removed the cover only to see what appeared to be a big blob of jelly with gummy worms coming out from it which the chefs then identified as being Creepy Crawly Pudding. "Count me out!" Scrooge cried at the top of his lungs as he limped his way out from the kitchen much to the delight of The Ghost of Christmas Present.

Did I say delight? I meant to say to the anger of the Ghost of Christmas Present who ran after Scrooge with the jelly in his large hairy hands as he proclaimed, "oh man look here!" Scrooge then proceeded to beat the ghost to death with a slipper. Yes seriously. I know people make a big stink about how the ghost was super smelly in the Jim Carrey movie, but this was going too far or at least that's the way it seemed to me. Anyways, Scrooge wasn't on his own for long as The Ghost Of Christmas Future showed up, but he wasn't anything like what I had in stock. He looked like some old geezer and he went by the name of Uncle Sal. Uncle Sal was a proper miserable son of a gun who rolled his eyes with contempt at Scrooge as he went on and on about how he feared this spectre more than any other than came before him. Uncle Sal took Scrooge with him towards a small portal that appeared in the middle of a Denny's as Scrooge was an addict to Denny's in purest form. Bob Crachit and the others tried to stop Scrooge from going to Denny's, but he threatened to expose Bob's affair with Sylvester Stallone to the United Kingdom. No, I'm not talking about the actor Sylvester Stallone, I'm talking about this bird bro who runs the oil fields or something along those margins. It's worth nothing that from this point on, it stopped being a game and just became an interactive storybook thing a ma bob kind of like those Leap Frog things that were all the rage back in the early 2000's, You know the ones where Leap blushes a blush after his attempt at the door tooth trick fails miserably, so miserably it's almost kind of nasty. Anyways, Uncle Sal proceeded to show Scrooge his belongings being sold to none other than Mr Broccoli who promised to reveal his deepest and darkest secret if Scrooge's underwear which were sold him to by landlady Mrs Duper could net him a smelly prize. Mr Broccoli was no broccoli he was a man, and he was using the broccoli facade to make a point about how sometimes the government make a big stink about anything. Mr Broccoli was inspired to this after being caught outside the shopping mall in Cape Tuck. Mr Broccoli was delighted at all the items that were passed his way, but then he saw a fat fucking rat hiding behind Scrooge who just looked weird like he had let out a big ole fart. Scrooge bit his lip in an awkward way as he saw Mr Broccoli pulling out a large and rusty bat. He started whacking at the floor which caused Scrooge to go flying out from the room and into the hand of Uncle Sal.

I thought that this was going to be the part where the ghost takes Scrooge to see what became of Tiny Tim, but instead Uncle Sal proceeded to take Scrooge to a massive highway somewhere in London. I may not be a historian dear reader, but I'm pretty darn certain that they didn't have highways back in the 1800's. Suddenly, a large group of cows appeared on the highway and they made their way up the road where they got ran over by a series of trucks. Scrooge tried to look away, but this angered Uncle Sal who proceeded to force Scrooge to look by holding his head in the direction of the carnage. Uncle Sal said, "if these shadows remain unaltered by the future I'm afraid the cows will die." Uncle Sal then proceeded to take Scrooge to the local Vegan House ran by Gaston & Lefou. Gaston owed a substantial amount of money to Scrooge, and when Lefou came to the establishment late that evening, the wily Gast proceeded to ask whether Scrooge was relenting. According to Lefou however, Scrooge was past relenting for he was dead. Both Gaston & Lefou started rejoicing as they realized that with Scrooge dead, they had time to save up some more cash as it's unlikely that any other creditor will be as merciless as Scrooge had been. The Vegan House ended up undergoing something of a renaissance as that afternoon they received a visit from business mogul Austin Bucks who owns every business in London... well he almost does the Vegan House is the one piece of London architecture that he has yet to add to his empire. Austin was wearing a horrid looking goblin costume which he used as a trick to manipulate people into selling him their companies as they are so embarrassed by Bucks that they are forced to comply with his wishes just so that they can get him out of their place of business faster. Austin was surprised however when Gaston turned him down, but he regained his calmness quickly as the screen cut to show a clip of an old lady getting run over by Santa Claus' sleigh. Not wanting to face criminal charges, the wily Santa who was being played by his younger brother Monty Claus as the real Santa didn't want to take a part proceeded to put the old granny inside his intensive care ward at the North Pole as Santa had run over so many people in the past with his sleigh that he did have to expand the operation just like he had planned. If any elf tried to discover what really happened to that old lady, they would be given an incredibly brutal death by Monty Claus' personal assassin Quincy who had green lighting bolts coming out from his fingers. Quincy was really stupid too as he regularly put out Monty's email for all the world to see. Once the clip ended, Austin was back in his normal three piece suit attire and perhaps a little happily for a man of his calibre, he proceeded to shut his suitcase full of clam shells up as he said, "thanks for sorting this whole mess out Gaston, I'm eager to see my associates in Wall Street to tell them the sale is off." Yes for some reason, despite being a mega tyrant, Austin Bucks really loves cancelling his deals. Like seriously, I think ole Mr Bucks gets more pleasure out of cancelling his deals than he does actually finalizing them.

That's when we get the normal Christmas Carol stuff where the ghost shows Scrooge his grave, and Scrooge tried to sponge out the writing on the stone with a conviently placed sponge and bucket, but he had no such luck in cleaning out the words. Suddenly, the grave began sucking Scrooge up, and he fell towards his empty casket. Scrooge then found himself in the underworld where he kept burning himself on the incredibly hot raditators. All seemed lost until Scrooge ran into Jacob Marley who took Scrooge to his own living quarters which was an office hidden in sub zero temperatures. That wasn't the worst part though, no the worst part is that the room was riddled with disgusting rats who swarmed around Scrooge. Scrooge begged for Marley to lend a brother a hand, but Marley laughed wickedly as he made his down the seemingly endless hallways caring not a button for the darkness. For darkness was cheap, and Jacob Marley liked it. Scrooge was then shown waking up in his bedroom as he declared that he was now a changed man, that he would honour Christmas and try to keep it all year long. Scrooge gave George Bean a local caroler two dimes so that he could buy the prize turkey. not the little prize turkey the big one! Bean happily complied, and brought the incredibly miserable butcher along with him to Scrooge's pad. Scrooge marveled at the size of the turkey as he pressed his skeleton hands onto the butcher's apron as he said, "it's almost to carry that into London Town, you must have a cab!" The incredibly miserable butcher was then shown getting into a horse and carriage which didn't appear to have that much room as he was squashed in right next to George Bean who was accompanying the butcher to the house for unknown reasons. Scrooge's landlady Mrs Duper was concerned at her boss' sudden change in behaviour, and sent a call to the local mental hospital begging for them to put Scrooge into a straight jacket. The hospital refused as they had no funding, but they were able to coerce a dime out of Duper by threatening to shoot a dog. "Give us a pound or we'll have to pull the trigger." A British hitman said as he held the gun towards the dog's head. Anyways, on Boxing Day, Bob who was making rather merry the night before arrived at the counting house late, and he was called to see Scrooge who acted like he was cross, but then he revealed that he was playing a joke on ole Crachit as he proclaimed, "i am about to raise your celery!" Yes, indeed Scrooge was going to do all he could to give Bob all the celery sticks he could ever want, as a whammy flashback shot showed that Bob was in love with celery as scenes were shown of him running in the Autumn leaves with a celery stick by his side. "Can you give me celery Mr Scrooge?" Bob asked. "I already have." Scrooge lied. It was a dismissal as Scrooge handed Bob a big blob of cob and told him to go out into town to buy some more celery before he dots another i. Once outside the counting house, Bob Crachit suddenly became the narrator as he went on and on about how Scrooge was better than his word and to Tiny Tim who got well Scrooge was like a second father. Scrooge was then shown walking in the street some years later with a healthy Tiny Tim upon his shoulder. but that was when Scrooge put his walking stick right in front of his size 15 tennis shoes and he ended up tripping on the cane causing Tiny Tim to go flying all the way towards a truck which was carrying ten pounds of manure. MANURE!

That was good. I was a little confused when I saw that the building was almost completely empty, and I decided to show the game to Robert Zemeckis. Zemeckies was so impressed by what he saw, that he offered me a part in his upcoming musical comedy entitled All Signing All Singing. Sadly, in order to obtain the part, I was going to have to be trained under a man named Mr Espanol. Mr Espanol sang every thing that he said, as he held his hand out to greet me as he sang, "hello Joey I'm glad to meet you." I began tearing up as I hated Mr Espanol and the weird gormless face he made from behind the wicked Robert Zemeckis. I ran out from the building with Zemeckis in hot pursuit and I could hear Mr Espanol asking, "was it something I sang?" I made my way out onto the streets where I caught a cab to the local airport, and I then took the first plane straight to Crypto Land as I heard that things down there are not as bad as they say in the papers. I was greeted at the airport by a giant pound coin named Crypto who proceeded to show me all around the town. He then brought me towards a large safe, and inside the safe like Ducktales there was a huge swimming pool full of coins. I expressed my desire to jump into the pool to Crypto who smiled an ear to ear grin as he said, "don't be shy go ahead and try...." Crpyto pulled an incredibly shocked face when he saw that I was already inside the pool of coins having a right ole time throwing the coins around and swimming like I just don't care. Suddenly. Crypto decided to show who he really was as he smiled an incredibly sinister smirk as he closed up the door to the vault, and stood at the front of the coin ridden pool thus preventing me from being able to escape. I continued to play in the pool of bitcoins, but in my head I knew what was to happen next. Crypto having successfully got me corned proceeded to say in a harsh but wet voice, "if you like this, just wait until you see what's next."