Ignobel Puhreez

## The Awakening

The paralegal spoke gently into the phone, "I'm very sorry IgNobel, but the money is tied up in a venture your late father had insisted on backing"

The complete injustice and insincerity of this statement washed over Iggy. How dare they say his money, HIS money that HE had inherited, could be 'tied up' in a 'venture' - his father would never have stood for this! This was an affront to the Puhreez's legacy, a legacy spanning a thousand years, longer! A legacy that could be traced to King Tut, through Napolean, through the founding of the United States - passing through the creation of the airplane and even calculus (and probably algebra too), and even briefly through the waffle cone. A legacy that, if you were to ask anyone save the remaining heir, was almost completely fabricated except for a lucky uptick of the market in the early part of the millenia and a small wager on a now major fast food company, "Taco, Taco, Burrito".

But of course they knew nothing, common myths for the common folk, the truth of the lineage of the Puhreez's was ironclad and filled with evidence, he had been told and so he knew, and now, with the striking force of the audacity of the legal aid, IgNobel was able to see through the lies, see the real truths.

And as the truths became Real, sweat began pouring from his red face, his hands clutching at the overworked heart in his massive frame which took the opportunity to succumb to gravity and fall to the floor, and when he awoke three days from then, really and truly Awoke, he harbored no ill will to the poor legal aid, who had just been doing her job. No ill will at all, but of course, Justice does not need ill will to form, Justice needs only a wrong, and yes, he had been wronged, and the paralegal had done the wrong, and so the paralegal would pay, once he remembered her name and the name of the legal firm handling his finances, and had a good breakfast to ward off the headache that was forming, and also to stop the rumbling, and it would probably be a big breakfast with bacon, definitely with bacon, and when he had the big bacon breakfast and the rumbling had stopped and the headache had gone, then he would get to work and the paralegal would pay.

## Fears

What's the worst thing your character has done? - IgNobel is very lazy, so in terms of ethical grey areas, he stays fairly clear. However, in complete disregard of his Watchtower, he'll often start a blizzard in the middle of summer if his air conditioning is blown, or if his cell phone battery is dead, will sap the battery of a random passerby.

What's the worst thing your character can imagine doing? - If in the way of his way of life, or honestly even if mildly inconvenient, he has no issues murdering a sleeper. A vampire, werewolf or some other warped creature he could kill if provoked. But, another mage? Only in the most dire of consequences would he raise his hat against one of his own brethren.

What's the worst thing your character can imagine someone else doing? - Obviously killing a mage is a horrendous act, but he understands that not everyone sees eye to eye with mages, although they are wrong to do so. But the worst thing Ignobel can imagine is to enslave and capture a mage, force him to do magic against his will. Reality is not real, and to trap someone into the fake world with no chance of making it to the supernal is just sickening.

What's the worst thing your character has seen? A new mage, he is unfamiliar with some of the harsh realities in the World of Darkness. The worst thing Ignobel has actually seen himself was a sleeper with a magical artifact. No mage would willingly give up such a powerful tool, and certainly not to someone walking around in slumber, completely unaware of what he is doing.