Let's Kill the Dean!

previous"Black and Blue Friday"

## Deaths and Attacks

Nobody gets killed or attacked in this episode

## Scenes

**Time To Kill Dean Levene**

CJ: Guys, Carly and I have done some investigating and we both think who the killer is.

Carly: Well it's obviously nobody here.

CJ: Carly and I both think it's the Dean.

Jessie: YES!!! I hate that guy! I knew it! That son of a bitch killed #2 and some others that I didn't give a shit about. But still, the Dean is so going to get it for shooting me in the arm with a crossbow!

CJ: Jessie, we said we THINK it was him, it doesn't mean he is the killer.

Jessie: Well I think he is so shut the hell up CJ.

CJ: Ugh whatever. Carly, lets go.

(CJ and Carly leave the room)

Jessie: Well Jessies, it's time for us to think of a plan to kill Dean Levene.

**Drink Up Dean**

Jessie: (narrating) If me and The Jessies want to get rid of Mean Dean Levene by killing him, we must look for clues on his Facebook page.

Caitlin: Why does the Dean have so many selfies?

Jessie: Shut up slutbag, we're looking for clues on how to kill this jerk by tricking him into drinking poison.

Caroline: Hey what's this? (reads post) I'm about to enjoy my favorite drink ever - orange juice!

Jocelyn: Aw, and he's used some cute kitty cat emojis with heart eyes.

Jessie: Ok, now we know that we have to give him orange juice and trick him into drinking poison.

Yuki: But how are we going to approach him?

Jessie: Don't worry, I'll just give him the poisoned orange juice like I'm giving him a small gift.

Yuki: But what about the poison? How are we going to find that?

Charlotte: Not to worry, I've collected some snake venom during my trip to Texas last year, we could put that in the orange juice.

Jessie: Brilliant idea #6! Pour it all in!

(Charlotte pours snake venom into the bottle of orange juice)

Jessie: Now it's time to deliver it to the Dean.

35 minutes later...

(Dean LeVene and Jessie bump into each other)

Dean: Hey Jessie, what are you doing here?

Jessie: I'm here to give you this.

Dean: Awesome, orange juice! My favorite! I'll go drink this in my office!

Jessie: Yeah you go do that while I do things. Nice chatting with you.

20 minutes later...

Jessie: Come on Dean Asshole, drink it already!!!

Dean: Ok, I'll need to sort out these papers and... (glass smashes) whoops! Aw well, I can always buy some at a vending machine.

Jessie: Shit! I almost killed him!

**Freeze The Dean**

Jessie: Ok since my plan to poison Dean LeVene didn't work, I say we freeze him to death!

Yuki: Agreed.

Caroline: Totally.

Jessie: Ok, let's do this.

At the Cryogenic Center...

Jessie: Trust me Dean, this sort of treatment will be perfect for you.

Dean: Well I have heard about this on Instagram and Facebook.

Jessie: Yes it's the latest craze apparently.

Dean: So who wants to go first?

Jessie: You Dean, as I always say, wisdom comes before beauty.

Dean: Aw thanks Jessie. (takes off his bathrobe, enters cryogenic chamber) Well here I go, see you ladies on the other side!

Jessie: #3 guard the door, don't let anybody go near, the Dean will be dead within the next quarter hour.

20 minutes later...

Mia: It's been 20 minutes, why hasn't there been any screaming?

Jessie: Because #9 Dean LeVene has already been frozen to death.

Rachel-Lou: Well he can open the door.

Jessie: #10, that's like impossible because his arms would snap off! #8, do you have the body bag?

Jocelyn: Check.

Jessie: The car is out in the back so we can dump his dead body into a river or something.

(Dean LeVene comes out of the chamber, unharmed)

Dean: Wow, I never felt so refreshed and more alive! Ok ladies, who's next?

**Drowning The Dean**

Jessie: Ok Jessies, poisoning and freezing the Dean to death didn't work at all, so here's my Plan C - We drown him into the pool, tying him up in heavy chains! I've went ahead and looked at your phones and set the alarms on all of them to 9pm, that's where we'll all meet to drown the Dean.

At 8:55pm...

Rachel-Lou: Excuse me miss, but I would like to purchase these panties. However, these are size 8's and I want them to be changed to size 4's.

Shop Lady: But ma'am, I don't know how to do that.

Yuki: Excuse me, but how dare you speak to my younger sister that way! Now do what she says as she is the customer!

Shop Lady: But...

Yuki: DO IT!!!!

(Alarms sound on everyone's phones)

Shop Lady: What was that noise?

Rachel-Lou: Nothing. Just follow my request by changing the tags on these size 8 panties with the size 4's!

Meanwhile...

Jessie: (checks her watch) Shit, it's quarter past 9 and none of those bitches have even bothered to show up.

Dean: Hello Jessie, what's with the chains?

Jessie: Lesbian bondage sex.

Dean: Ew, that's disguting! But it's the 21st century, so...

Jessie: (narrating) And so after a 20 minute chat with the Dean, I've decided to go back into the Kappa House and pen those idiot sluts a missive to end all missives.

## Trivia

* Dean LeVene's favorite drink is orange juice.

* When Dean LeVene was in the cryogenic chamber, the maximum temperature was -210 degrees Celsius.

* Not all of The Jessies were present with the Dean at the Cryogenics center. Jessie, Yuki, Caroline, Mia, Rachel-Lou and Jocelyn were the Jessies who were present in the scene.