23

Introductory Text

23rd Post

Posted 27 April 2016 at 14:52:27 EDT

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> I suppose it's time to tell you what was inside the magical space pussy. You can believe me or not. What do I care? I'm the guy who's been inside the magical space pussy. My life has been pretty much downhill since then. I mean, fuck Neil Armstrong. What did he see? A bunch of gray rocks? Big fucking deal. I saw a chooch growing out of the side of a canyon. Top that, NASA! You Tang-drinking cocksuckers!
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> Anyways... where was I? Ah, yes, Uncle Adolf. So I was living in Death Valley, hanging out with the Manson Family, and Charlie kept mentioning this guy, "Uncle Adolph," and I figured he's talking about Hitler because he's sort of into this white supremacy thing. But then I started realizing that he's talking about a guy who's still alive. Then one day, the guy showed up.
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> They asked me to come over to their cabin, and this old guy was sitting there: white hair, deep tan, lined face, pale eyes. He introduced himself as Adolf, and he's got a German accent. He made no secret of the fact that he was an ex-Nazi. This made me nervous. That's kinda something you keep under your hat. He said he found Charlie at Berkeley, that Charlie was "perfect for my purpose." I asked what his purpose was. He said, "testing."
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> I kinda shrugged because I didn't really give a shit about his little coy answer, and I got up to leave when this mongoloid motherfucker they called Clem punched me straight in the face, and suddenly I was on my ass. There were a couple girls there, and they jumped on me and held me down and tied my hands behind my back. If I had known what they had done to Sharon Tate, I would've been unspeakably terrified, but as it was, I was merely really, really scared.
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> They tossed me into the back of the dune buggy and drove out into the desert. It was midday, and the sky was just one giant glare. We drove for over an hour, and eventually they got me out and hauled me down into this deep sandy arroyo, and they started marching me down it. They had put wooden stakes into the ground at various points, and when we came to them, they seemed to be really careful to always stay in between the stakes. Later, they had chains tied between the stakes, and we all had to go under the chains like some kind of obstacle course. I didn't know what to make of it. I had a lot to process at the time.
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> I started to notice that the rock walls of the arroyo were... abnormal. There were strange striations through the rock and what looked liked the cross sections of giant insect tunnels. I had never seen rocks like that. The whole thing was just... very alien.
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> Then I started to hear the screaming. Up ahead, I could hear people's voices, thousands of voices, all of them screaming and howling at once. Slowly, incredibly, the screaming changed into a kind of laughter, an insane laughter, giggles and chuckles and titters. I wondered if it was in my head, if I was so scared that my mind had cracked or if they had dosed me with LSD or something.
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> Finally, we went around a bend in the arroyo and, well, there it was. They said it would be a pussy, and I guess it kind of looked like one. Maybe after some kind of drastic dildo mishap. It was just... flesh. Wrinkled, lobed, flabby flesh, growing out of the rock like mold or something. It had hair and pores and freckles. Some of it was pale, some of it was black. It was taller than me, and in the center there was an opening. Pink and wet, like a pussy.
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> The kraut told me he wanted to see its "level of development." He took a revolver from one of the girls and pointed it at my face and told me to walk inside. It was either get shot or go into the big mangled pussy. It was honestly a tough choice. There was something completely fucked up, completely not right about that thing. Something in my bones told me not to go into it. Not to go near it. To just take the bullet in the head. But I figured maybe I could go in just a little bit and then wait for them to leave and get the hell out of there. Not a great plan, but the best I could come up with.
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> So I went in. The entrance was just barely wide enough to slip into. All I could see was glistening pink flesh ahead. There was this sound like laughter and then screaming and then laughter that was coming from deep inside. The walls were blood warm on my shoulders, and the smell was... well, what you might expect. Not great. Let's just say it was not great.
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> I pushed forward and the walls kind of gave way and found myself moving through this slimy, suffocating flesh, and I'm starting to panic because my hands are still tied behind my back, and I'm feeling like I'm about to choke on this stuff, and the walls are moving, like pulsating. I feel like I'm being digested. Then, suddenly, I'm pushed through into this kind of chamber.
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> Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire. The chamber was... just a nightmare. I mean, I never... I've just never seen that. It was unholy. There were faces and heads and legs all kind of fused together. The walls were just all these crawling limbs and these terrified faces and fusions of teeth and cheeks and hair and fingers coming out of knees and just... they... all those people! Were they still people? Had they ever been people? Had they been made a part of that thing?
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> I started to scream. Everything around me was screaming, all the mouths on the walls were screaming, and I was screaming too. Then I was laughing, and I felt hands and mouths all over my body and they were tickling me, touching me all over. Then I was screaming again. I had to get out of there. I had to get out of the nightmare. I started pushing back towards the entrance, but the hands were all over me. I felt something bite into my hip. A mouth was biting me. I screamed at the sharp pain and moved away from it. I started to think that maybe I could get one of the mouths to bite through my ropes, and then I would at least have my hands free.
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> I struggled to turn around and move the ropes toward the mouth, but just when I got it in position, the mouth bit right into my finger instead. The pain was incredible, but I was giggling, just laughing and laughing. The mouth pulled the flesh from my finger like it was a chicken wing. Another mouth bit into my shoulder. I was chuckling away at this point. The hands were grabbing me, pulling on me, pulling me apart, tearing my arms right out of their sockets. Fingers were digging in between my ribs. I was slathered with blood and screaming, screaming as the fingers dug into my eyes.
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> Well, I guess that this point you're probably wondering how I, your intrepid narrator, managed to escape the Bottomless Pit, how I managed to survive to tell you this tale. I simply didn't. I never escaped the Bottomless Pit. I am the Bottomless Pit. Hahaha. I am the Tree of Life.
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