Episode 5

**Space Man, Getting Space Jammed, pt. 1** is the fifth episode of Season 1 of the *Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout* anime, and one of the rare instances in which the producers decided to try and turn the show into a sports shounen anime.

## Summary

It's basketball again at Choco Taco Academy, and Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout's whole class is participating in the school gymnasium's annual sweat-fest.

Dengar Dangerous hates shirts and rips his every time he speaks, and Zippy Danger is excited to show off his incredible dunks. At the thought of stopping his brooding in order to *find joy in something, anything*, Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout rolls his eyes and broods even harder. Meanwhile, Betty squawks in the sidelines, because girls can't basketball.

When basketball goes, the whole class gets into it, except for Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout. Just as Zippy seems poised to make the last dunk of the day, a strange energy grabs the basketball. The students are surprised to see none other than Rear Admiral Fights in basketball shorts. He asks if they mind if he plays, but before either can finish talking or opening their mouth to talk, Fights dunks the basketball, like, twelve times. It's impressive?

This display angers Dengar and mildly ticks off Zippy. They know that Fights is using his power nuggets to play basketball, which they compare to cheating on a test by using AOL to instant-message someone outside the class (immediately dating this episode forever, as if the Space Jam references weren't enough). They realize they're going to have to give it their basketb-ALL to beat this serious guy at a high school sports game.

In this tense exciting battlesketball, Zippy and Dengar use all of their power nuggets and working together, they manage to put a dent in Rear Admiral Fights' lead, but Fights is still always one step ahead of both of them, and with the clock ticking down, and pools of sweat on the floor making it hard to walk without slipping, Zippy calls on Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout to help them win the game. Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout is unmoved and shrugs.

At this point, Fights is confident of his victory and taunts Dengar Dangerous. Ripping three whole shirts in frustration, Dengar attempts to swoop a three-pointer by shooting the basketball into the hoop. This fails spectacularly in a way too gruesome to describe here (the TV version of this scene is heavily censored, but the uncut DVD version bears this out), but which involves a dentist's tool, spray paint, and a whole school desk. Following this accident, Dengar is taken away on stretchers to the school nurse. It's now just Zippy versus Fights, and the former clenches his fists in frustration, because he knows he can't beat Fights by himself.

Betty turns to Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Scout and finally pleads with him to help Zippy Danger win the game against Fights. She talks for, like, a whole minute about friendship and how basketball is like life or something like that in seagull.

Unmoved by Betty's monologue, Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout goes back to brooding, but he realizes his bladder is overfull. As he gets up to pee, he slips on a puddle of sweat down the bleachers. He continues slipping on a series of sweat puddles onto the floor and into the basketball court, accidentally striking a defiant pose in front of Rear Admiral Fights. Betty cheers Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout on, as sweat soaks her shirt and makes her bra clearly visible in every shot.

However, just as everyone else is celebrating the victory, Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout spots a coin under his own eyelid. He plucks it out and upon doing so, it reveals itself as a magic coin. With a burst of power nugget energy, Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout suddenly grows to 300 feet tall, breaking through the roof, and is enlisted in the Galactic Cluster Basketball Association (GCBA) on account of being huge and in basketball pants at that particular moment, which are their only requirements. The episode ends with Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout grimacing at his friends while they stand on a roof looking at him and he dribbles a truck-sized basketball, squishing thirty people.

## Trivia

* Surprisingly, nobody sued for the name.
* This episode is notable for being the first multiple-part episode in *Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout*.
	+ It does not break the tradition of Season 1, however, of having one enemy per episode, because the two halves of the are near-completely unrelated in story-terms.
	+ The only way they are connected, besides the ending of the episode, is that both feature Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout and his friends playing basketball and getting very, very sweaty.