Arthur Reimer

***“I won’t say it again. Infohazard protocols are in effect.”***

***WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS.***

**Arthur Reimer** - his friends just call him **Reimer** - is part of Juniper Smith's *Dungeons & Dragons* group. He's the munchkin of the group. The Anyblade belonged to one of his characters,, and he would often use it to pick locks. Forty-Two was one of his characters. He didn't think health much mattered in RPGs until you lost your last point of it, and liked using the "Monkey Grip" feat to wield large weapons. By the time Juniper wound up on Aerb, Tom and Reimer were the only people left in his D&D group.

Don't confuse him with the other Arthur. Certainly don't confuse him with the *other* other Arthur.

>
> “Blah, blah, blah, politics.”
>
>
>
> —One of Reimer's refrains, at least according to **Juniper**, Chapter 9: "Making Magic"
>

## Appearance

Reimer is on the taller side, with glasses and a short blonde crew cut. He likes to wear baseball caps.

## Biography

Reimer and Arthur once discussed critical hits and misses, prompting Juniper to invent a story about Moxit, a level one commoner, and Kerland, the best warrior in the world. The discussion interrupted by the arrival of pizza. Cold Comfort

After a name Reimer's proposed for one of his characters ("Megatron") was vetoed, he poked holes in the names Tom and Arthur came up with for their characters ("Cloakshield" and "Uther Penndraig"). The conversation shifted to famous people by the name of "Tom" - Reimer supplied "Tom Hanks". Twenty Questions

When Tiff, Arthur, Juniper and Tom discussed the "Unspoken Plan Guarantee", Reimer expressed disinterest in hiding things from the Dungeon Master. ELEVATOR facts

He wasn't impressed with the city of Barren Jewel. Whys and Wherefores

Tiff, Reimer and Tom's characters were poisoned by Count Gordner as revenge for killing his son during a werewolf epidemic - but they were using tongue-wigs, which grant poison immunity. Reimer was pleased to have a precaution work like this, remembering all of the times his rogue character had been pitted against things with sneak attack immunity. Siege

In a campaign set in London, Reimer, Craig, Arthur, and Tom planned to use a pair of linked portals to shine sunlight onto Dracula. Rocket Man

When Tom's, Arthur's, Craig's and Reimer's characters were negotiating how loot would be distributed if they defeated the cult of Epsilon, Reimer brought up the correlation between power level and wealth requried to maintain the game's balance. Weik Handum

When Tiff asked that Juniper's versions of hags and succubi be "considered representations", Reimer cited the Long Stairs as reason not to ask Juniper to "get fancy". Friendship is Magic

Reimer once tried to play the most charismatic bard in the world, but kept sticking his foot in his mouth. In Which Juniper Stares At His Character Sheet

When Craig's character was killed by a daji, Reimer's character "Finch" was two blocks away but completely unaware. Reimer took the opportunity to explain why you should never split the party. Don't Split the Party

As his archer/cleric character, Reimer would utter the words "I shoot it" at least twenty times a session. He once shot a unicorn, but it used its
unicorn magic to evade the attack. Strategic Reserves

In a discussion about magic in roleplaying games, Reimer advocated for strict rules governing what players can and can't do - mostly so he could cheese them. Keep Magic Weird

Reimer was very impressed with Craig's bingo cards. At Arm's Length

When Arthur's character kicked down a door and Juniper asked the group's characters' positions, Reimer considered metagaming but was discouraged by Greg. Place Your Figs

Reimer was disinterested in a discussion about conflicting alignments in the party, and simply told Juniper that his character, "Plunder", was applying drowfire poison to his daggers and concealing them in his "special sheaths". Animus

After Arthur's death, before a session of Long Stairs at Reimer's house, Reimer confronted Juniper about his relationship with Tiff. Juniper killed Reimer's characters eight times over the course of the session - after the second death, Reimer stopped bothering to make new ones. A Pleasant Interlude in Kansas

## References

1. ↑ The Anyblade had belonged to a rogue of Reimer’s, and Reimer had a tendency toward munchkinry which I liked to indulge him in, within reason.
—*Worth the Candle* Chapter 22: "Rolling Need"
2. ↑ I stepped forward and drew the Anyblade, shifting the hilt around until it was roughly key-shaped, then stuck it in the keyhole. The Anyblade wasn’t meant for this work, I knew it, but I also knew that this was something that Reimer had done time and time again, until I started having every villain in the land use two-factor.
—*Worth the Candle* Chapter 33: "Tenth"
3. ↑ Forty-Two was one of Reimer’s characters, a fairly forgettable shapeshifting assassin loner.
—*Worth the Candle* Chapter 29: "Greychapel"
4. ↑ Reimer had always said that health didn’t matter until you lost your last point, and that was manifestly not true in my case, but at the very least, everything else was recoverable.
—*Worth the Candle* Chapter 33: "Tenth"
5. ↑ ‘Monkey Grip’ was the ability to wield larger weapons through eliminating the penalty; I hadn’t known that there was a penalty, but holding a broadsword in one hand no longer felt awkward (the virtue had the same name as a feat Reimer used to love, which did the same thing).
—*Worth the Candle* Chapter 37: "Paths"
6. ↑ Tom and Reimer were the only people left in our D&D group, mostly because I’d fucked things up with pretty much everyone else.
—*Worth the Candle* Chapter 41: "Truth and Reconciliation"
7. ↑  Logically, it wasn’t Reimer. I’d met two doppelgangers so far, Bethel-as-Tiff and Raven-as-Maddie, and this person was probably Reimer in looks only, on the taller side, with a blonde crew cut and glasses, a smarmy grin even as he was coming over. Not Reimer, just meant to look like him, for the Dungeon Master’s ineffable reasons.
—*Worth the Candle* Chapter 142: "Sound and Silence"
8. ↑ “That was Reimer’s phrase,” I replied with a frown.

“Which one was he again?” asked Fenn.

“Kind of a dick,” I said. “He wore hats a lot -- baseball caps -- baseball is a game where you hit a ball with a bat and run around in circles -- had, I don’t know, glasses, blonde hair … he liked rules, especially if he could use those rules to break something.”
—*Worth the Candle* Chapter 83: "The Familiar and the Foreign"