Episode 20 - Not So Great Jail Break

## Intro

**Matt**: Hello and welcome to Celestial Expanse, a real play D&D podcast set in the Celestial Expanse universe, my name is Matthew, I'll be your DM for the night, playing with us today is Ben as Rell...
**Ben**: Hello.
**Matt**: Jason as Theran...
**Jason**: There is no cow on the ice.
**Matt**: What?
**Rebecca**: Does anyone understand what he's saying.
**Matt**: No.
**Natalia**: It sounds like he's trying to talk to me, but I can't understand what he's saying!
**Jason**: It's the only Swedish comment, like saying, that I know.
**Natalia**: There is no cow on the ice?
**Jason**: Yeah it's their way of saying like, take it easy or chill out.
**Matt**: Oh, so it's almost like saying having a cow.
**Ben**: Don't have a cow, man?
**Jason**: I don't know.
**Rebecca**: I see.
**Matt**: An actual icy, or...?
**Ben**: The only one I know is... what was it, don't shit in the blue cabinet, or something?
**Rebecca**: What?
**Matt**: Okay, we're going down a hole that I don't wanna start. Uh, Rebecca as Martle.
**Rebecca**: Why do people hate Orion's belts? It's a waste of space.
**Natalia**: I appreciate that one.
**Rebecca**: Thank you.
**Matt**: Oh... my god. If you see my face right now it's just this look of pain and horror right now.
**Rebecca**: Good.
**Matt**: Boston as Juniper.
**Boston**: Cat collector games: just another cat-astrophe.
**Matt**: Okay Boston, you're out, bye.
**Jason**: You have planted your last potato, Boston.
**Boston**: I just ate potatoes. Joke's on you.
**Matt**: Mm. Natalia as Z.
**Natalia**: I came woefully unprepared, no one told me to get a catchphrase.
**Matt**: That's perfectly all right, you don't have to have one.
**Natalia**: Ewo!
**Matt**: So how's everybody doing today?
**Rebecca**: Nat I think you do have a catchphrase, it's just much much simpler than the rest of us.
**Boston**: I just found a facebook article of a chonkachonk, a 26 pound cat, finds a home.
**Natalia**: Dot dot dot.
**Matt**: So, how's everybody doing today?
**Natalia**: Meh.
**Ben**: Okay.
**Boston**: A face cat finds a home, I'm good now! Wholesome!
**Rebecca**: I'm doing better now that D&D is happening.
**Matt**: Yes.

## Summary

### Episode Description

After the disastrous date between Martle and Captain "Olive Boi" Eric, it's business as usual for the Crew--or is it

### Summary

Martle goes to Eric's place. Theran follows as backup, but leaves some distance. Martle and Eric talk a bit, and then she asks him if he found anything about the Inquisition on Horus. He sends some files to her personal computer. They contain profiles of 4-5 people who were seen on Horus before the incident on Seth. The only thing that's really suspicious about them is that they had no business on Seth, which is not very welcoming to visitors. Three weren't elven, and Horus is especially unwelcoming to non-elven people. Eric says he wouldn't mind her staying the night, but guesses she's not in the mood. Martle kisses him goodbye before she goes. Theran meets her on the way back, and they discuss the suspects.

In the morning, they leave the kids in the suite and go meet Eric, in his full uniform. He gives them a dossier for the prisoner, Quin Redstream. He takes them into the room and tells Quin to behave, then leaves. As soon as they are alone, Martle tells Quin they're breaking him out, and they get to work. Theran unlocks Quin and Martle uses Misty Step to teleport herself and Quin into a nearby supply closet. Theran asks Z to punch him in the face, but she's super hung over and can't manage it. Rell hits him and he casts Darkness in the hall as a reaction. Theran leads Juniper and Rell, dragging Z, through the darkness to Martle. Eric and the guards are thrown into confusion. Quin dresses as a janitor, though badly, and Martle follows suit. Guards are searching people at the exit, so Martle Misty Steps with Quin again. They're seen, and start to run, Quin throwing down a smoke bomb made of cleaning supplies as they go. Theran casts Darkness again with Rell's assistance, and leads everyone out. Rell and Juniper, with Z clinging to Rell, go back to the apartment to get the kids and their stuff. Quin, Martle, and Theran go back to the ship, Martle taking off her elf disguise as she goes. Juniper and Rell come back to the apartment to find the kids being accosted by lawkeepers. Theran proposes leaving without the others, but Martle says they need them to fly the ship. They pilot the ship to the apartment complex and fire on the the apartment next door, after messaging Rell their plan. Rell dives onto the kids to protect them just before Theran fires. A hole gets blown in the wall and the two lawkeepers are knocked out, so they get out and board the ship. Martle drops her computer into the fire, not wanting to be traceable by Eric. He calls just before she tosses it.

Quin deftly pilots the ship out of Parliament, with Rell blasting the shielding around the asteroid so they can burst through. Quin tells them they're going to the dreadnought Rhea.

### New Information

* Eric's uniform consists of metallic armor, a pistol, a club, and a cape that designates his rank.
* Quin is a middle aged human, 5'9" or 177 cm tall, and has brown eyes and red hair with the sides closely cropped.
* The Torog has a MAC, a magnetic accelerated cannon.

## Memorable Quotes

**Matt**: I think if somebody tried to put Martle on a shelf she would blast them.
**Rebecca**: Yes. She would kick them in the chest and then she would crush their skull.

**Boston**: Why can't I fireball through my problems.

**Jason**: Yes, because D&D suddenly is about breaking out criminals and shooting innocent people to allow people who break out criminals to escape, with children that aren't theirs.

**Jason**: Morality is completely firm, until I have a chance to find the sons of bitches that wiped out my clan. Then it's fucking on. You sorta hit the one thing that Theran cares about.

**Jason**: I'm gonna send a text with emojis, and hearts, and a gif that has Will Smith doing the running man, cause that's what I have time for.

## Trivia

The Torag didn't have any weapons until Jason asked if they could fire them.