PRESS: Bean Co. To Increase Rogue Operations In Russian-Claimed Territory

The world has been intently watching the situation that has unfolded over recent weeks between the group known as the Russian Federation and the country of Ukraine. We stand with the people of Ukraine in the ongoing effort to end the violent conflict which the Russians have incited.

Other companies, such as Apple, Visa, and most recently McDonald's have chosen to withdrawal from the region, using a stance of pacifism as a thin veil for their desperate scramble to stop trading in the rapidly collapsing ruble. While this seems a sensible solution to some, we here at Bean Co. refuse to bend to the will of fascists that aren't on our payroll. That's why today, we're proud to announce that we are doubling down on our operations in the Russian region.

Last year, Bean Co. installed its first Russian base, an extension of the Beanco Industrial Technology Creation Headquarters dedicated to innovations in Bean Mining technologies and efficient factory construction. In a proud act of defiance against the Russian menace, we have bravely and defiantly refused to pay taxes to their fascist "government" and defended our land from invaders with our efficient and powerful new weapons based on Bean Propulsion Technology. As Vladimir Putin continues to embarrass the region, it is clear that Bean Co. has a responsibility to fight back.

To help the people of Russia recover from the devastating blow to their economy left by the departure of certain other large businesses, we're proud to announce that Bean Co. Russia will now be accepting the MacCoin in lieu of the Ruble. This will no doubt soothe the worried McDonalds customers in the region, knowing that their precious MacCoins accrued from years of hard work to get their Big Mac fix will still be able to feed their families with the new Bean Co. Certified Mac-Like FrostBean Burgers, as well as classic staple BeanCo food products.

To further stimulate the the Russian McOnomy, Bean Co. is also now opening hundreds of job positions in the region, paid out in the very same MacCoins. This stable, widespread currency is accepted in more than 50 countries and, as the Ruble loses all worth, will no doubt become the de facto standard currency in the country due to the massive amount of Russian citizens that surely still have them.

This transition will not be easy, as Putin's pressure in the region will no doubt be applied to us. We've already had to collaborate with shady McDealers to arrange the international exchange between MacCoin and Big Mac. However, we all must put aside our differences in the name of the innocent Russian people and Ukrainians whose profitability has been affected by this conflict. We believe we are doing a good thing for Russia, offering safety and stability for them and their families, and all we ask for in return is for them to delve into the Bean Mines, operate a Bean Co. Autoquarry, or suit up to join the Bean Co. Combat Department as Anti-Personnel Personnel.

With your help, we can end this inefficient, unprofitable conflict, dethrone Putin, and help Bean Co. lead Russia to profitability and productivity once again!

With Pleasure,

Bean Co. Executive Department

*Edited by Bean Co. Food Services Department.*