J.P. Reynolds-Abernathy

RoyalRabbleRouser

Author

Filmmaker

Crisis Manager

## Relationships

### Partner(s)

Lilly Moscovitz (March 2005 - September 2005)Mia Thermopolis (September 2005 - May 2007)

## Appearances

As *Guy Who Hate It When They Put Corn In The Chili*
The Princess Diaries, Vol. II: Princess in the Spotlight

The Princess Diaries, Vol. IV: Princess in Waiting

The Princess Diaries, Vol. V: Princess in Pink

The Princess Diaries, Vol. VI: Princess in Training

The Princess Diaries, Vol. VII and 3/4ths: Valentine Princess

As *J.P. Reynolds-Abernathy the Fourth*

The Princess Diaries, Vol. VII: Party Princess

The Princess Diaries, Vol. VII and a Half: Sweet Sixteen Princess

The Princess Diaries, Vol. VIII: Princess on the Brink

The Princess Diaries, Vol. IX: Princess Mia

The Princess Diaries, Vol. X: Forever Princess

MiaThermopolis.com

Royal Wedding: A Princess Diaries Novel

**John Paul Reynolds-Abernathy the Fourth** also known as **The Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili** is a student at Albert Einstein High School.

## Biography

### Early Life

At age 12 J.P. began dropping bottles off the roof of his high rise apartment, causing his parents to send him to therapy.

### Freshman Year

First mentioned as "that weird boy I see sometimes in the cafeteria who gets so upset whenever they serve chili and there's corn in it" as a potential person that Jo-C-rox could be. Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili is getting lunch while Lana is telling Trisha that she has to cancel concert plans because she has Valentine's Day plans with Josh. When Josh has to call at lunch and cancel plans on Valentines day Lana screams and knocks the tray out of Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili's hands, sending his taco salad sailing into the air, where it lands directly on Lana. He is later seen at the table selling prom tickets, seemingly buying them for him and his girlfriend to attend.

### Sophomore Year

#### Party Princess

Mia writes a story based on the Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili called No More Corn! that she submits to *Sixteen* magazine. The Guy Who Hates It When They Put Corn in the Chili comes to *Braid!* auditions and is revealed to be J.P. Reynolds-Abernathy the Fourth, the son of the man bidding against Grandmère for the faux-island of Genovia in Dubai.

After they meet at auditions, Mia invites J.P. to sit with them at lunch. J.P. asks Mia about her diary and reveals that he also keeps a notebook (though his has creative writing in it instead of journal entries) and Lilly tries to convince him to submit one of his poems to the literary magazine. J.P. reveals to Mia that he doesn't actually want to do the play either, but his parents are big in the theater, with his dad being a producer, so he always auditions - though this is the first time he has been cast as the Drama Club is notoriously cliquey. J.P. sees himself as a loner and he really wants to be a screenwriter, rather than an actor.

When the group becomes concerned that they will not be able to prepare fully for the performance the next week, J.P. reassures everyone that they can do it. As they leave he makes a joke to Mia about eating all of her steak and bacon, which Boris rebuffs by telling him that she is a vegetarian. J.P. tells Boris that he was making a joke, as the whole school knows that Mia is a vegetarian after the time she freaked out when they put meat in the vegetarian lasagna.

J.P. attends Michael's party and compliments Mia's outfit by quoting a line from the play to her. Lilly shows J.P. her camera, and when Mia starts to dance by herself J.P. joins her so she isn't alone and she shimmies up to him. After being embarrassed by her dance J.P. brings her her beer but she tells him to take it away and gathers her things and leaves. J.P. is concerned the next day that Mia is mad at him for getting her in trouble with her boyfriend, but she assures him that she isn't. J.P. reveals to Mia his issue with corn and Mia feels like they have started to bond.

Grandmère decides that J.P. and Mia's characters should kiss at the end of the play, which horrifies Mia as she is still having troubles with Michael. J.P. assures her that they do not have to kiss if she doesn't want to and as thanks she kisses him on the cheek, which causes Mia and Lilly to fight. The next day Mia wants to destroy all the copies of Lilly's literary magazine, as her story about J.P. (from before she knew him) are in it, but when she goes to the men's room to hide them J.P. is there. He asks her what she is doing and offers to help, suggesting that they use the crusher in the recycling bins. Mia decides that she can't destroy them and apologizes to J.P., but he tells her that it's ok if everyone reads the story and knows it's about him because he is a loner anyway.

J.P. and Lilly scheme to have Michael show up at the end of the performance to kiss Mia, which makes her happy. J.P.'s dad thanks Mia after the performance for getting J.P. out of his shell and making friends, though J.P. is embarrassed by his dad. When Lilly tells Mia that she talked to David Mamet Mia tells her to take J.P. to meet him right then.

#### Sweet Sixteen Princess

J.P. and Lilly have begun dating but he won't tell her how he feels about her or call her his girlfriend. J.P. catches Mia staring at him (trying to see if he is bubbling with passion) and asks her if there is something on his face.

When Mia tells everyone about Grandmère's crazy My Super Sweet Sixteen plan J.P. backs Mia up - agreeing with her that the show is exploitative and stupid. Lilly says that Mia is just punishing everyone for what she did last year and stalks off too the bathroom and the whole table goes into an awkward silence, but J.P. doesn't know what happened. He tries to ask everyone what happened but no one will tell him. J.P. and Lilly go to Mia's ice skating party at Rockefeller center and Lilly tells J.P. that she loves him. J.P. just says "thank you" back, which hurts Lilly's feelings, but they continue to skate together.

### Junior Year

#### Princess on the Brink

J.P. returns from summer break more tan and blonde, but he has still not told Lilly that he loves her, nor does he refer to her as his girlfriend. J.P. hints that he is attracted to Mia by telling her he likes a certain tall, skinny blonde, but she thinks he is referring to Kiera Knightley. He also tells Mia that he likes her hair, even though the rest of their friends don't seem sure about how short it is. J.P. has Chemistry with Mia and Kenny and the three of them agree to be lab partners together. After Mia finds out that Michael is moving to Japan, Kenny and J.P. pass notes with Mia and J.P. assures her that everything will be ok.

After Mia's panic attack sends her to the office, J.P. passes notes with her in Chemistry again to make sure she is ok. Mia tells him she hopes Michael changes his mind but if he doesn't she doesn't want to see other people and will just spend more time with her friends, but J.P. points out that all her friends are in relationships.

Lilly goes in on Mia the next day at lunch for breaking up with Michael, but J.P. tells her to stop, eventually grabbing her arm and taking her on a walk, where he breaks up with her. Lilly tells Mia about this in G&T and Mia is determined to hate him, but he starts joking with her in Chemistry after Kenny somewhat tries to make a move on Mia. Mia tells him that she knows that he broke up with Lilly but he tells her that he probably should have done it a long time ago, he was just hoping he would get more feelings for her, but the way she treated Mia in the cafeteria showed him he could never be with her. He tells Mia he's glad she finally stood up for herself with Michael because it was wrong of him to lie to her about his sexual history and tells Mia that he is a virgin. They agree to be friends and as they leave they hug in the hall, and Mia turns to give J.P. a kiss on the cheek, but he turns and kisses her on the lips - in front of Michael who had come to the school to talk to Mia.

J.P. calls Mia that night and tells her he has box tickets to Beauty and the Beast, Mia's favorite show and invites her to go with him so they can get away from their problems. She agrees to meet him and they agree together not to mention any of the Moscovitzs.

#### Princess Mia

Mia and J.P. are at Beauty and the Beast, which ends up on the cover of the Post, implying that they are dating. J.P. calls Mia and asks if she saw the article and they joke about it. He asks her if she heard about Lilly's party and offers to have the two of them throw their own party, but Mia turns him down as she wants to be home in case Michael calls. J.P. is surprised that she would still want to hear from him and be available if he calls. He offers to come over and study with Mia, but she turns him down. The next day he calls and asks if Mia has heard from Michael but she hasn't. She tells him about Lilly and the Muay Thai fighter and he laughs. After Mia misses a few days of school Tina brings her a note from J.P. inviting her to a few shows and asking her to come back to school because he misses her. J.P. e-mails her after she misses more days, hoping she is ok.

When Mia returns to school she discovers that everyone thinks she and J.P. are dating. J.P., Boris, and Tina sit with Mia at lunch, as the friend group is now divided due to Mia and Lilly's feud. J.P. passes Mia a note in chemistry asking if she wants to hang out the next night, but Mia tells him no. He offers to come over instead, but she turns that down as well. He and Boris end up surprising Mia and Tina at Tina's house that night, bringing them ice cream. Mia is surprised she actually finds J.P. kind of hot and thinks that everyone suggesting it might be rubbing off on her. Boris and Tina begin to make out so Mia and J.P. excuse themselves to the kitchen. J.P. asks what Mia did that day and she ends up telling him about Lana and Domina Rei and mistakenly tell him she is in therapy, which makes her panic. J.P. tells her it's ok because most of the school is in therapy, including J.P., who has been in therapy since he was 12. Mia asks him if it works and he tells her it does so she asks how long it takes and J.P. just responds, "That bad, huh?" Mia tells him she's been a little down recently and he asks if it's about Michael and she just nods. J.P. puts his hand on hers and tells her it will get better. Mia begins to cry and tells him it's not just Michael - it's everything with Lilly and J.P. hugs her and tells her it will be ok. Mia cries that Lilly won't even look at her and J.P. tells her that maybe it's a sign that Lilly wasn't as good of a friend as Mia thought and that while they were dating she told him she was jealous of Mia for being popular and well-liked, in addition to a princess. Mia tells J.P. that the whole school just sees her as a freak, but J.P. says they might have seen her like that previously, but she's changed and Lilly hasn't. Mia doesn't think she's changed but J.P. points out that she eats meat and hangs out with Lana. He is about to tell her something when Tina's parents come back and Tina rushes them out before they get to the apartment.

When it is revealed at lunch on Monday (when Lana and Trish join their table) that Lilly and Kenny are now dating J.P. asks Mia if he is off the hook for breaking Lilly's heart since she has quickly moved on. J.P. tells Mia that he loves her, has been in love with her, and wants to be more than friends, but before Mia can respond Kenny accidentally blow up the chemistry lab. J.P. throws himself over Mia and Lars grabs a fire extinguisher to put out his sweater. J.P. tells Mia that his feelings for her came on slowly, but he can't stand watching her be sad about Michael and they are taken away to the hospital. Mia e-mails J.P. that night and tells him that the day was crazy, but she isn't ready to date anyone right now, but if she was it would be him. J.P. e-mails back and tells her to take all the time she needs as he will wait. J.P. passes notes with Mia in class and asks her out for Friday, but she turns him down as she is speaking at Domina Rei. After Lilly yells at Mia J.P. comforts her at lunch with the rest of their friends.

After Mia's Domina Rei speech J.P. is waiting outside of Mia's building to talk to her as he saw her speech and wanted to make sure she was ok. Mia interrupts him, throwing her arms around him and kissing him. When they stop kissing J.P. asks if he can see her the next day and she says yes.

#### Later Junior Year

J.P. gets Mia a heart locket from Tiffany's with their initials entwined for their first Valentine's day together.

### Senior Year

J.P. comes to visit Genovia over the summer a few times.

J.P. plans on attending Yale.

He gets Mia a diamond journey necklace for their second Valentine's day together.

#### Forever Princess

J.P. has written a play called A Prince Among Men for his senior project and casts Stacey Cheeseman and Andrew Lowenstein in the lead rolls and bans Mia from attending all rehearsals until the final performance.

He purchases prom tickets but does not explicitly ask Mia to prom, leading her to believe that they might not be going. When he sees the girls he asks where they are off to, but doesn't seem to think anything of the fact that they are prom dress shopping and tells them to have a good time. He later asks Mia if she got a dress and tells her to let him know when she does so she will be able to buy the correct color corsage. Mia is confused and asks J.P. if they are going to prom and he tells her of course they are, but she points out that he never asked her so she was unsure. J.P. tells her that since they had been dating for so long he didn't know that he needed to ask her. J.P. assures her he will ask and that he will not do so in an embarrassing way. Mia tries to get out of it by telling J.P. that prom is kind of lame, but he wants to go as it will be the last time they get to hang out with all of their friends before they all go off to college.

J.P. asks Mia what she is getting as gifts for those who wrote her letters of recommendation, but admits that he is just getting them Barnes and Noble giftcards. J.P. calls that night and invites Mia out to sushi but he spends the whole date complaining about Stacey Cheeseman. The paparazzi shows up and follows them away from the restaurant, necessitating Lars hailing a cab so that they can shake them off before returning to the loft. After their date J.P. asks to be invited up as it has been awhile since they were able to be alone.

Mia e-mails J.P. and admits that her senior project was actually a historical romance novel and sends him a copy. J.P. calls and is surprised that Mia wrote a romance novel and tells her that he thinks she is selling herself short and could do better than writing romance.

Mia calls J.P. while she is at Applebees with Mamaw and Papaw Thermopolis and begs him to come join her but J.P. refuses, saying he has to work on his play. He tells her he has not yet had a chance to read her book.

On Mia's birthday J.P. wishes her a happy birthday during school and tells her he will give her her gift at her party and he has not yet forgotten about prom. At Mia's party J.P. brings Mia water and finds her in a group with Michael and an awkward silence falls over the group. J.P. is surprised and comments that Michael is back and Boris tells him that Michael has been back for a while and his CardioArm is wildly successful. J.P. congratulates Michael and Tina awkwardly fills the silence by telling everyone about J.P.'s play. As Mia tries to excuse herself from the group to mingle, J.P. pulls her on stage and grabs the microphone to make an announcement. He pulls out a ring box and gets down on one knee to ask Mia to prom, but everyone perceives it as a marriage proposal. Mia awkwardly says "We'll see!" and J.P. hugs her. Mia tells him they need to talk, but J.P. assures her the diamond in the ring is conflict free. He tells her it is just a promise ring but Mia is confused why J.P. would think that she would want one of them. He tells her that since Tina wanted one he assumed Mia would want one, as Tina also loves romance novels and Mia wrote a romance novel, but tells her that if the idea of a promise ring freaks her out it can just be a birthday present. After talking to Phillipe, Mia puts on the ring and tells J.P. she will go to prom with him.

During an argument with Tina, Mia texts J.P. to get a hotel room after prom and he texts her back and tells her it is taken care of. J.P. IMs Mia later that night to ask her how finals went and tell her how worried he is about his play. After Michael donates a CardioArm, Mia tells her friends at lunch and J.P. responds calmly.

Mia attends performance of J.P.'s play and it is about a guy named J.R. who is in love with a girl named Rhea who is the princess of a small European principality. The play contains many private details of their personal lives, which upsets Mia. After the play Sean Penn tells J.P. that he wants to option it in Hollywood.

The next day at school Mia sees Lilly's campaign ad for Phillipe and shows J.P.. She wants to go thank Lilly, but J.P. tells her not to as Lilly owes her for IHateMiaThermopolis.com. Mia says that was a long time ago, but J.P. says Lilly is "still a Moscovitz," which confuses her. J.P. says that neither Moscovitz sibling has ever done anything without expecting anything in return, but Boris chimes in that he hasn't noticed that about Michael as he has offered to let Boris stay with him for free during college.

J.P. comes over after school and Mia tries to ignite some passion, but he keeps interrupting her to talk about his movie option. J.P. tells Mia he is going to try moving to Hollywood and invites her to come with him. Mia asks why she would do that and J.P. says she would come to be with him and she could work on writing something more substantial than a romance novel, but Mia objects as he hasn't even read her book yet. He and Mia leave for Boris' show together and congratulate him on his performance.

Mia calls J.P. after getting an offer to publish her book from Avon Books, but J.P. tells her she shouldn't accept the first offer. Mia points out that this might be her only offer, but J.P. is insistent that she should just try to publish under her own name, ignoring the fact that Mia wants her book published on it's merits and not her celebrity. He tells her she knows nothing about publishing and is making a mistake, so Mia quickly gets off the phone before crying. He e-mails Mia a few days later to tell her that he talked to Sean Penn and he can get her a publishing deal for a quarter of a million dollars, even though he promised Mia not to. Even though she is upset Mia e-mails him back thanking him.

J.P. arrives with a corsage to take Mia to prom. While there he brags with the other guys about their hotel rooms and pulls out his key for their room at the Waldorf. Mia sees his key but remembers Shameeka saying that the rooms were booked months ago and asks him how he got a room. He tells her there must have been a cancellation, but she remains unconvinced. She asks if he thinks it's weird that the paparazzi shows up everywhere that they go, but J.P. just laughs it off as an odd coincidence and says it's good for Genovian tourism. Mia says it only seems to happen when she's with him, but J.P. just tells her he thinks it's annoying. Mia asks him directly if he is the one calling the paparazzi but he laughs nervously and tells her no way. He asks her why she thinks he would do something like that and Mia tells him he might like seeing himself in the paper. J.P. tells her to just enjoy the night as they are probably about to be crowned Prom King and Queen.

Mia goes to talk to Lilly and she reveals that when J.P. broke up with her he told her he was already in love with Mia and believed he had a chance since she had broken up with Michael. She also reveals that she and J.P. slept together, even though he told Mia that he was still a virgin. Mia is shocked that J.P. played them both, realizing that he kissed her on purpose the day Michael came to talk to her at AEHS and called the paparazzi on them when they went to see Beauty and the Beast.

Mia and J.P. are crowned Prom King and Queen by Principal Gupta, but Mia tells J.P. they need to talk. He misunderstands and thinks Mia wants to go up to their room and leads her to the elevators, asking if she should send Lars home. Mia tells him it's time for them to be honest with each other and calls him out for calling the paparazzi on them, including personal details of their lives in his play, and lying to her about when and how he got their hotel room. J.P. tries to make excuses but Mia tells him she knows he lied and admits that she lied about her college admissions. She tells J.P. she knows what happened with his breakup from Lilly but J.P. tries to paint Lilly as a liar and asks Mia if she is crazy. Mia says she is definitely not crazy and J.P. begins to look scared. The elevator doors open, but Mia tells Lars they are not going anywhere and gives J.P. the breakup speech that Grandmère taught her. J.P. tries to explain, but Mia tells him to call Stacey Cheeseman and tells him goodbye.

J.P. ends up with Stacey later that night, and texts Mia the next day to tell her thank you for the suggestion. He also reveals that his play is no longer going to be made into a movie deal due to some legal issues (unaware that Mia called the Royal Genovian Lawyers to stop it). He is fine with this as he has a new idea for a play - one about an actress who falls for her director.

### Adult Life

#### Royal Wedding

J.P. posts on Mia's Instagram for her 26th birthday and tells her that his latest film, Nymphomania 3D, has failed miserably, leaving him in debt to his investors, requiring him to take a job for his uncle's company in the city. He asks her to look at his latest futuristic dystopian novel, Love in the Time of Shadow, and later e-mails it to her. Love in the Time of Shadows is about a girl named Amalia torn between two boys, Mick, who is dark and coldly analytical, and Jared, who is blonde and warmly creative, though she leans toward Jared. They exist in a highly militarized society where the 1% has all of the wealth and the only chance for the 99% to attain any of it is a randomized lottery, or armed rebellion. As a result, most of the populace spends all of their time watching reality TV to escape their problems, though the media is highly biased and censored. Everyone is overweight due to lack of fresh foods (except, for some reason, the heroine and her love interests) and almost everyone has skin cancer or radiation poisoning due to the ozone layer being destroyed by mankind's mistreatment of the environment.

J.P.'s new job is with Lazarres-Reynolds, a crisis management firm that Clarisse Renaldo has hired to deal with Phillipe's breakdown and arrest. He approaches Mia while she is icing her foot in the kitchen and tells her insincerely that he thought about telling her that he thought about messaging her to let her know that he had taken the job but assumed that it would be fine, as high school was a long time ago and they are both adults now. J.P. leaves and goes into the hall where Michael comes upon him telling someone over the phone that he thinks Mia is still into him and that he is positive he could sell some tickets to the royal wedding, so Michael punches him.

Michael steals J.P.'s phone and discovers that he is RoyalRabbleRouser and turns the phone over to the Royal Genovian Guard. After being confronted by the R.G.G. about his threats as RoyalRabbleRouser, J.P. agrees to go on a Russian icebreaker ship to clear his head.

## Physical Appearance

J.P. is 6'2", has floppy brown hair, and bright blue eyes. J.P. is later stated to have blonde hair, which after the summer has even more blonde streaks in it. He also has a tan.

By his mid-twenties he has grown a hipster mustache and wears only skinny jeans.

He is quite good looking.

## Personality and Traits

J.P. has an aversion to corn, as he was once embarrassed by his parents telling a story of the first time they fed him corn as a baby (and it came out in the diaper whole) to his idol, David Mamet.

He is manipulative and a liar, contriving his entire relationship to Mia by lying and staging situations.

J.P. reveals himself to be an anti-feminist in his writings as RoyalRabbleRouser, upset at Mia for writing a character who has premarital sex and accusing feminism of ruining America. He blames Helen for raising Mia on her own and creating feminist monsters who want to destroy the fabric of society by advocating for equal rights. He comments after Mia's engagement to Michael that he is finally making an honest woman out of her and she should get to popping out kids instead of spewing feminist propaganda.

## Relationships

### Lilly Moscovitz

Lilly develops a crush on J.P. immediately after meeting him during their production of Braid!, though it is unrequited. Lilly tries to sabotage Mia's friendship with J.P. due to her crush, but Mia helps them get together by telling Lilly to introduce him to his idol, David Mamet. J.P. and Lilly begin dating but he never calls her his girlfriend or is affectionate to her in public. Lilly ends up telling J.P. she loves him but he just says "Thank you" back. J.P. and Lilly sleep together over the summer. By their junior year J.P. still does not tell Lilly that he loves her or call her his girlfriend. When Mia and Michael break up J.P. dumps Lilly for Mia, but Lilly lies about the cause of their break-up to her friends.

### Mia Thermopolis

Mia and J.P. begin dating immediately after Mia's breakup from Michael after he dumps Lilly for Mia (though Mia does not know that this was why they broke up). J.P. tends to like or dislike everything that Mia likes or dislikes, which her mother dislikes. They date until the end of their senior year, when Mia starts to realize that he has been lying to her. J.P. gets a hotel room for after prom without telling her and Mia discovers the nature of his breakup with Lilly, in addition to realizing that he has been the one calling the paparazzi on them every time they go out. J.P. tries to deny it, but Mia ultimately ends the relationship and gets back together with Michael.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 The Princess Diaries, Vol. IX: Princess Mia
2. ↑ The Princess Diaries, Vol. II: Princess in the Spotlight
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 The Princess Diaries, Vol. VII and 3/4ths: Valentine Princess
4. ↑ The Princess Diaries, Vol. V: Princess in Pink
5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 5.2 5.3 5.4 5.5 5.6 The Princess Diaries, Vol. X: Forever Princess
6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 6.2 6.3 The Princess Diaries, Vol. VII: Party Princess
7. ↑ The Princess Diaries, Vol. VIII: Princess on the Brink
8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 Royal Wedding: A Princess Diaries Novel
9. ↑ The Princess Diaries, Vol. VII and a Half: Sweet Sixteen Princess