Darkness on the Edge of Town/Quotes

## Quotes

(*Ursula and Cruella are summoned to the Forbidden Fortress*)

**Cruella De Vil**: Now, who's gonna tell me what in the hell I'm doing in this ghastly place?

**Maleficent**: Lovely question, because this "ghastly place" is my home, and I didn't ask for any visitors.

**Cruella De Vil**: I received specific instructions.

**Ursula**: As did I.

**Maleficent**: I don't care. You're trespassing. And do you know what I do with trespassers?

**Ursula**: Don't even think it.

**Rumplestiltskin**: Now, now, ladies. Don't tear each other apart. I need you all in one piece, or rather, three pieces.

**Maleficent**: Rumplestiltskin. It was you.

**Rumplestiltskin**: Guilty.

**Ursula**: Someone wanna tell me why I left the sea for this?

**Rumplestiltskin**: Oh, yes. The reason for this little tête-à-tête-à-tête... à-tête... We all have something in common, apart from mutual distaste. We're villains. And it's time the villains got their happy endings.

**Belle**: You know, Rumplestiltskin got the best of us. And you're right, you should've been stronger, but you weren't... And, well, neither was I. You know, I should've seen through him.

**Captain Hook**: You were blinded by love. What was my excuse?

**Belle**: Probably the same, just for someone else.

**Captain Hook**: Well, he's right about one thing... Love is a weapon, as dangerous and persuasive as magic.

**Belle**: Yeah. Yeah, he had both of our hearts.

**Emma Swan**: How do you feel about kale salad?

**Regina Mills**: Like someone found someplace other than Granny's for takeout.

**Emma Swan**: I'm fine with her grilled cheese, but I know it gets to you.

**Regina Mills**: You eat like a child. Is that a root beer?

**Emma Swan**: Two. I got you one. Thought you could use a break.

**Regina Mills**: A break from what? Dead end after dead end? This sorcerer, or author, whatever he wants to be called, doesn't want to be found.

**Emma Swan**: It's only been a few weeks.

**Regina Mills**: Exactly, and I've conquered entire realms in less time.

**Emma Swan**: Can you conquer these bottles? I thought they were twist-offs.

**Regina Mills**: Do I look like I can pry them off with my teeth? I'm a queen and a bit more refined.

**Emma Swan**: Yeah, I got that. My mom had a bottle opener here during her brief tenure, somewhere. (*opens drawer*)

**Regina Mills**: Wait! Don't...

**Emma Swan**: (*finds Page XXIII*) What's this? Did you take it from the book?

**Regina Mills**: It's not from the book. Robin found it, before he left with his family. It appeared to him.

**Emma Swan**: It's not your story. What is it?

**Regina Mills**: Robin thought it was hope, a sign that things would work out for me. Turns out it was a cruel joke.

**Emma Swan**: Have you heard from him?

**Regina Mills**: No.

**Rumplestiltskin**: The curse resides here, Bald Mountain. It's protected by a variety of lethal magic obstacles; obstacles that suit your very specific talents. Blood scarabs. The only thing stronger than their venom is their bloodlust. Cruella, I believe with your powers of persuasion they'll be as harmless as puppy dogs.

**Cruella De Vil**: I've got a little job for you, darling. Now run along and tell the others. (*uses Persuasion to send the scarabs away*) That's how it's done, darlings.

(*the four find the Dark Curse protected by flames*)

**Rumplestiltskin**: The Dark Curse. Fire, forged from the breath of dragons. Maleficent, I believe this is your area of expertise.

**Maleficent**: (*inhales fire*) Next time, maybe something challenging.

**Rumplestiltskin**: And now, Ursula; If you don't mind.

**Ursula**: (*grabs Dark Curse with her tentacles*) This what you're looking for?

**Rumplestiltskin**: Indeed.

(*an earthquake begins*)

**Maleficent**: What the hell?

**Cruella De Vil**: What is going on?

**Rumplestiltskin**: I'm leaving with my prize. And you? Uh, you're about to die. I forgot to mention there's one more thing guarding the curse: the Chernabog, an ancient demon that feeds on evil. It seeks out the heart with the greatest potential for darkness and devours it. That's why I really needed you three. Adieu. (*exits*)

**Rumplestiltskin**: The town line is 100 yards up that road. Oh, but it's cloaked by a protection spell. Makes it impossible to see or enter.

**Ursula**: A town you can't see or enter?

**Rumplestiltskin**: But it's the truth. The night I was banished, I attached this tie to that tree so I'd be able to find my way home.

**Ursula**: Okay, let's say you *are* telling the truth. How are we supposed to cross that line without any magic?

**Cruella De Vil**: No more encores, Rumple. We're finished with your hazy instructions and your empty promises.

**Rumplestiltskin**: Please put the gun down. You're overreact -

**Cruella De Vil**: No more tricks. If we're about to walk into a trap, tell us now, darling, because out here, you're nothing more than a cripple; a coward with a real world ability to die.

**Rumplestiltskin**: Yes, yes. You're right. You're right.

**Cruella De Vil**: So you say you're banished. Who banished you and why?

**Ursula**: I bet it was his little maid. Is that why we're here? Because of a girl?

**Rumplestiltskin**: I'm here for the same reason you are. My happy ending. And that is the truth. And what that is? Well, that's my business, just like your reasons are yours. All of that we seek is just beyond that line, so please, if you think you can find your way in this town, and face all that light magic without my help, then be my guest. But if you can just trust me, you won't just get inside Storybrooke, you'll be invited.

**Ursula**: Like the people of Storybrooke are gonna invite us in with *you* by our side.

**Rumplestiltskin**: Yes, they will, dearie, because I won't be on your side.

**Cruella De Vil**: All right. Start talking.

**Regina Mills**: Excuse me. May I ask you something?

**Blue Fairy**: What can I do for you?

**Regina Mills**: (*shows storybook*) Do you know what this is?

**Blue Fairy**: Where did you get this?

**Emma Swan**: The Sorcerer's Mansion. Henry found dozens of these blank books there.

**Blue Fairy**: The Sorcerer is here?

**Henry Mills**: Well, his house is, but we haven't found him yet.

**Blue Fairy**: You're looking for him?

**Regina Mills**: Well, I was hoping he could write me a happy ending. That book seems to have great power.

**Blue Fairy**: Oh, it does.

**Regina Mills**: So I thought if he rewrote it... I know it sounds crazy.

**Blue Fairy**: It's not crazy at all. But you're looking for the wrong person. Although Sorcerer is a very powerful wizard, you should be looking for the Author.

**Emma Swan**: Aren't they the same person?

**Regina Mills**: Why would the Sorcerer have the Author's books?

**Blue Fairy**: That is a quite perplexing question, and I'm afraid I do not know. But I do know that they are two very different people.

**Regina Mills**: So you know who the Author is?

**Blue Fairy**: No, but I do know he exists. I mean, *if* he is a "he". I've never actually seen him. In fact, no one has, not for many years.

**Regina Mills**: So this is where hope has gotten me?

**Emma Swan**: We'll find him, Regina.

(*the Chernabog terrorizes Storybrooke*)

**Regina Mills**: Ursula said it devours the heart with the darkest potential. Now that Gold's gone, who else could that be? I mean, is there a dwarf named Evily? It's *me*!

**Emma Swan**: We're not gonna just sacrifice you.

**Regina Mills**: I'm not sure we have much of a choice.

**Emma Swan**: That thing's magical, right?

**Regina Mills**: I'd say magical is a pretty good guess.

**Emma Swan**: So if it's magic, what happens if it leaves town for a world with no magic?

**Regina Mills** No magic, no beast.

So all we have to do is lead it over the town line.

**Regina Mills**: The Chernabog withstood both of our powers combined. Even if I poof myself to the town line, the second I'm out in the open it'll crush me like a bug.

**Emma Swan**: Not if you've got some help.

**Cruella De Vil**: Well, well, well, look who's here. It's been a long time.

**Prince Charming**: We gotta talk.

**Cruella De Vil**: Oh, so the Prince wants a chat? Okay, handsome, talk.

**Snow White**: This is *our* town. If you've *really* turned over a new leaf, you're welcome to stay.

**Ursula**: My, aren't we generous?

**Snow White**: On one condition. No one must ever know what happened between us in the Enchanted Forest, and if you say one single word to anyone, especially Emma, well... You won't have to worry about the Evil Queen. I'll rip out your hearts myself.