Stories

A list of stories-some true, some myths-that have spread throughout the school's history.

## The Cheez-It's Incident

For many years, the Caddo and Prudhomme lounges hosted signs listing items that should not be microwaved. These signs listed items one would expect: metal forks, aluminum foil, mac-n-cheese with no water, etc. An unexpected item remained at the bottom of the list in bold: Cheez-It's. For years, students wondered about the tale of the person who microwaved Cheez-It's. In 2021, a witness returned to the school as an SLA. Mars, a student at the time of The Incident, recalled the story. Allegedly, the culprit was a furry who enjoyed going out at night to howl at the full moon. One fateful night, however, it was past curfew and pouring rain when they got the urge to howl. This student determined that the only logical solution was to set off the fire alarm, forcing students outside. The Caddoite wrapped Cheez-It's in aluminum foil, set the timer, and waited. The fire alarm went off, forcing students to evacuate and completing the furry's plan. At this point in the story, Mars showed the group of listeners a selfie she took 1:00am while standing outside of Caddo. The perpetrator has since gone down in history as "that idiot who microwaved Cheez-It's" and, more recently, "oh god, a furry???".

## The Origin of Speedbumping

In 1997 two kids planned out getting eloped, they rode their bikes planning to leave for Texas on their bikes. However, their long leave led to suspicion and adults soon found out they were gone from their sign out spot. They went on an all out search and found them about an hour out from the Texas border. Now from 3:00-6:45, every student must stop by at the front desk.

## Bubble Wrap

Filler (200 feet of bubble wrap handed out for Teacher Appreciation Week in 2020 by Alex Bazzelle ('22))

## Caddo Fire Alarms

Filler. It should be noted that the first fire alarm set off in the LLC was by third year senior Lilly Blanchard ('22), an ex-Caddo resident. Caddoites also had their microwaves removed for a week in the 2019-2020 school year.

## Phantom Pisser

An enigma, the Phantom Pisser goes down in LSMSA history as a legend. During the 2019-2020 school year, the first floor CPT male restroom was targeted by this unknown, urine-based assailant approximately 4 times, causing it to be closed for several days. Infamously, John Allen asked all Prudhomme residents to remain seated following a community meeting, where they were scolded and informed of the bathroom shutdown. After the Phantom Pisser's final attack, a few students cleaned up the urine and administration was not notified. To this day, the identity of the Phantom Pisser (also called "Whiz Kid" and "The Guy Who Pissed On The Floor In The CPT Bathroom") remains a mystery, however there is speculation that the culprit is John Allen.

## The Cult of Ur Qaulgoth (2015-2017)

### Acquaintance Met Amongst the Cane

Long ago, in times lost to legend and forgotten by the traditions of LSMSA, there dwelt 3 prophets in the Prudhomme Temple. Paul, David, and Jacob were but of low birth when they walked the halls of Prudhomme, for unaware and unseen went the presence of Ur betwixt those hallowed walls, unacquainted as they were. But amongst the Cane, Ur Qaulgoth reared, and made his presence known unto the prophets three, each and every had denied and had run in terror from that place. But soon Ur Qaulgoth had proffered the 3 miracles, and so the prophets bowed to his grandeur.

### The 3 Miracles

A night of storms and winds whipped about the Prudhomme Temple not long after the prophets had denied the divinity of Ur Qaulgoth. In righteous rage had Ur Qaulgoth sent the storms and the rains upon the prophets, to show him his fury and his power.

In the maelstrom of that night, prophet Paul had crafted a treatise for the Soothsayer Feske, but alas, the printer had run dry of ink. Time and again, the pages failed to print, and always did the pages print warm to the touch. Desperate, prophet Paul tempted Ur Qaulgoth, beseeching him, that if he truly be an Eldritch entity of profound power, let the ink of his printer be full again. And so it was, that Ur Qaulgoth reached down from the heavens and crafted the pages of Paul's treatise, and so the pages printed, ice cold to the touch. And the waters and the storms had ceased thereafter, so was the first miracle.

But a week had passed since the first miracle, the prophets shaken and disturbed in the event that had occurred before their eyes. Reason would prevail, they determined; a malfunction, of course, delayed the pages of Paul. And so together, they tempted again Ur Qaulgoth, beseeching him, that if he truly be an Eldritch entity of profound power, let the treatises due of them the next day for the Strident Lankford be delayed, for they had fallen into lethargy and failed to author them. And so it was, that Ur Qaulgoth reached down and had struck the Strident Lankford ill, and so the treatises were delayed, saving the prophets. And so was the second miracle.

Now, the prophets were shaken in their faith, and but another week had passed. Coincidence, of course, delayed the due of their works. But not a third time could chance save them. And so together, they tempted a final time Ur Qaulgoth, beseeching him, that if he truly be an Eldritch entity of profound power, let the exams required of them the next day for the Wise Donlon be cast off, for they had fallen into lethargy and failed to mind their books. And so it was, that Ur Qaulgoth reached down and had struck the Wise Donlon into submission, and so the exams were cast off, saving the prophets. And so was the third miracle.

### The Founding of the Qauliphate

After the 3 miracles, the prophets submitted themselves to Ur Qaulgoth, who revealed to them his nature and his holies. He had bestowed upon them ancient knowledge and divine revelations. Prophet Paul had authored the Holy Scriptures of Ur Qaulgoth, and prophets David and Jacob had quickly disseminated them amongst the denizens of Prudhomme. And so Ur Qaulgoth's prayer was heard on the tongues of many: "Praise Be to Ur Qaulgoth. Praise him, praise him, the Sire of Plague, Father of Insanity, Bringer of the Storm, Defiler of Seven Billion Souls, Destroyer of Fifty-Five Worlds, Worlds, World-Star." The prophets convened the early followers in the grand hall (2nd floor lobby of Prudhomme); and with shadowy robes and scriptures in hand, conceived of the Holy Qauliphate. Soon after, the inquisition began, converting many to the movement.

### The Prudhomme Jihads

Not every inhabitant of the temple fell to their knees for Ur Qaulgoth. Some resisted, and false deities rose to challenge the domination of Ur. First came Tiny Pebbles, an idle chatterer, who tempted the followers of Ur away from the fold. Second came Fuq Mai, who spoke reason and sowed doubt among the followers of Ur. And most fearful, the mighty Loollolorolorrorl, who organized an armed resistance. The agents of Ur found the hideouts of each and every false god, and in glorious battles did they will them into submission. Then forth, the Qauliphate reigned supreme.

### The Wanderings

The Qauliphate ruled for a time, but as all, the prophets were set out to wander, to proselytize the teachings of Ur Qaulgoth on distant shores. In the years since, the empire declined, fell, and has been forgotten. The texts still exist, and with them, the power of Ur Qaulgoth remains.

## Ace the Eagle's Engagement

Filler (Cyborg Dolphin of ASMSA, 2020 SLAMT)

## The War of B3 and B4

### Nerf War Arc

Routinely, there were nerf wars between B3 and B4 that took place across the two floors in the middle of the night. This got so bad that they just banned nerf guns from the school. SLC Blake and RA Caleb made a statement about the ongoing war during a hall meeting and nothing changed.

### Other Major Events

- Ethan Cruz was carried from his room in B310 all the way to B410 where we was thrown into the suite and left there.