Rise of Penis Man

**The Rise of Penis Man** is an event in *Suction Cup Man 4: Business or Pleasure*. It takes place in the aftermath of Suction Cup Man getting sued by Guy Business, and banned from owning climbing-grade suction cups. With the help of a sex-store clerk, he discovers a loophole in the lawsuit, and reinvents himself as Penis Man, using dildos with suction cups to climb towers.

## Loophole Discovery

After having his tower climbed one too many times by his biggest enemy, Suction Cup Man, Guy Business decided he had enough, and sued the climber for property damage. When Suction Cup Man annoys Judge Carter with his antics, he is found guilty of all charges, and banned from owning climbing-grade suction cups. After the local moving company confiscates his suction cups to be auctioned off, Suction Cup Man tried other forms of climbing, but none of them worked. All that, along with a man at the park who outright tells him that he's worthless, pushes him into depression.

Later, after possibly becoming suicidal, and finding the hardware store out of rope, he goes to a local sex shop and purchases a rope from there. While there, he tells the clerk, Gina, that he's thinking of getting into new hobbies, like knot tying, which he demonstrates by tying the rope into a noose. When a concerned Gina asks if he's okay, he finally breaks down and tells her about the lawsuit, and how he can't own climbing-grade suction cups. While trying to comfort him, Gina realizes something: Suction Cup Man was banned from owning climbing-grade suction cups, but the lawsuit never said anything about suction cups that aren't climbing-grade. After she points this out to him, she shows the fallen climber a catalog of dildos, making him realize what she meant: if he used suction cups that aren't climbing-grade, he can climb towers without violating the lawsuit. He proceeds to purchase a massive number of dildos, ready to renew his climbing career, changing his name to Penis Man.

## Guy Meets Penis Man

The next day, Penis Man proceeded to climb Guy Business' tower again, using the dildos he acquired from the sex shop. While climbing, he made a stop at the floor Guy was currently on, and pushed the window open to greet his rival. Guy, shocked to see Penis Man climbing a tower with suction cups after the lawsuit, tries to call the police on him, but the climber tells him that the judge said *climbing-grade* suction cups, which the dildos weren't, and as such, he is legally obeying the lawsuit rules. Guy is exasperated with the loophole, and is further annoyed when Penis Man shows off the mac-and-cheese sounds the dildos make when shaken, and says the word 'penis' over and over again to a guitar, getting the attention of one of Guy's employees, Penny (who he accidentally calls 'Penis'), and the local police officers, Paul and Buddy Ease.

After the police officers note the loophole, showing that Penis Man is technically obeying the lawsuit, a frustrated Guy threatens to take the climber back to court, and ban him from owning any suction cups forever. However, Penis Man points out that doing such a thing would be impossible, as suction cups are everywhere. He lists off several things that can be used as suction cups, including plungers, shower hooks, foam darts, and even the human mouth, vowing to climb with all of those things if he must. Frustrated at his determination, Guy just admits that he wants the climber to stop climbing his tower all the time, but Penis Man insists that he will never stop. Eventually, a fed up Guy makes a deal with him: if Penis Man promises to only climb the tower on weekends, then Guy will drop the case, and let him have his old suction cups back. A thrilled Penis Man agrees to the deal, lets go of his dildos, and floats away on his parachute, thrilled to be Suction Cup Man again.

## Aftermath

After the lawsuit ended, Suction Cup Man was given his climbing-grade suction cups back, only to realize that all the dildos he got during his time as Penis Man is taking up all the space. Luckily, he finds the perfect place to store them: in Guy's office.