Episode 67: Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma

**Video:**
1:02:22

**Video:**
print.mp4

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

**Audio:**

Going to college is so expensive my balls are being squeezed for cash, but going to a fake diploma milf is too illegal. What if you could legally print your own verified Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma with the Globehell Stamp of Approval? Would this be worth going in debt for?

**Video:**

College is so expensive my balls are being squeezed for cash, but going to a fake diploma milf is too illegal. What if you could legally print your own verified Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma with the Globehell Stamp of Approval?

## Idea Details

* Idea: Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma
* Creator of idea: Josiah
* Purpose of idea: Ricky Gervais says, 'What should you do? You should live your life to the fullest.' Well, I'd like to learn! I'd like to develop my skills and develop my career and go to college, and everyone says, 'Well, college is great because it's leftist,' but there's a problem uh with it in Americ-- in Canada -- Americ-- in America today. Uh is the problem is this! (Drew: "Student loans.") So what I'm trying to get at is that school -- going to school will change your life, but it also could be too expensive. Not everybody can afford it, to go to school. (Drew: "Right.") But you need to go to school to understand how to live your life. But it's too expensive and people can't afford the loans. Um and so what I'm trying to get at is that there are ways around it. Well, my point is that people are trying to get around -- I mean, there's a huge problem with student uh s- uh money. Well, uh, loans. (Drew: "Right! Yeah!") There's too much money for the students, spending it all on duh Harvard. (Drew: "Right, then why are you saying go to college? Why are you saying that college is a good idea? If it costs so much.") Well, you gotta look at what people are doing and how they're already trying to solve the problem and then we'll solve it for them! Uh so what I'm trying to say is that people are trying to get around it right now by um -- sorry, my green screen is really fucked up right now -- people are trying to get around it by taking matters into their own hands, and they're kinda pullin-- I think they're kind of pulling it off! \*Josiah and Drew watch a few videos about getting a fake degree\* The point is is people are taking -- (Drew: "Get a fake degree.") -- You need a job, you need money, you wanna live your life to the fullest cause Ricky Gervais told you to, you wanna do the best that you can do. Why would you spend all this money on student loans and uh all this time when you just -- well that's kind of -- the problem is we won't forgive the loans, we won't forgive each other. But here's the problem with the way they're doing it now is that they're -- they are being busted for the fakes. (Drew: "Oh, no!") And they're f-- gettin' smarter with how to f-- uh -- they're gettin' smarter with this stuff. (Drew: "Oh, no! There's -- so not only do you have to look into the -- whether it's accredited, you have to see if the accreditation --accreda-- accredation place is credited??") It's so complicated! It's just so much work! (Drew: "Mhm.") But my point is, we still want people to be -- we want people to thrive and become educated and achieve it! We want the world to feel smart and here's a little thing that I was thinkin' about uh today was that gl-- uh global warning -- g-- uh, sorry, global warming is increasing the degrees of the Earth, -- (Drew: "Wait, are you saying --") Global -- hang on. (Drew: "Are you saying the phenomenon of global warming or are you saying the name of our show?") So let me -- just hear me out; this is very clever. This is a very clever thing I'm about to say; you might not understand it at first. (Drew: "Mhm.") Global warming is increasing the number of degrees on the Earth. (Drew: "Mhm.") But I would like Globe Hell *Warning* to increase the number of *degrees* on the Earth by helping people follow their dreams of becoming whatever kind of person they'd like to become in -- at the world of education and self-betterment and learning power. (Drew: "OK!") So we're gonna talk about today creating the University -- Free University College Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma.
* Timetable: No timetable was given for Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma. It will presumably be enacted as soon as the special printer ink can be developed and all schools and universities are abolished, which should be very soon.
* Idea details:
	+ To help combat high student loan payments as well as people getting caught creating fake degrees, everyone on Earth will receive a Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma, which is a free post-secondary education degree for everyone on Earth who is of learning age.
	+ Everyone will get to pick only one thing to have their Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma in.
	+ Everyone on Earth who is of learning age will get a free degree printer so they can just print out a degree from their home.
	+ Josiah and Drew will make sure Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma is legal. Each printer will be authorized and approved by Globe Hell Warning.
	+ The Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma will print from the printer with a single click. It will look something like this:
	+ You can just put your hand on the printer and you will receive the Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma.
	+ The printer will be locked to the individual's Social Insurance Number and to their degree. It will be blank in the name and the level of degree so you can fill out your name and the level of degree you want.
	+ There are so many printers in the world already, so used printers will be distributed to everyone in the world so they can print their Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma.
	+ Each person in the world will get one sheet of Educational Parchment Paper for free. However, everyone will have to pay for the ink, which will run you a 5-year commitment for approximately $10,000 per year. This will ensure that people are serious about it before signing up for Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma, since it's a serious thing what people want to do with their life.
	+ People can take out a $50,000 loan to pay for the printer ink.
	+ As an alternative to the $50,000 for the special printer ink to print a Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma, there will also be 'small-plomas', which wouldn't be full diplomas, but rather small-plomas, where instead of printing a full sheet, you would print a small card like a business card. That's gonna say that the holder has put X amount of money into their education, and people could have multiple small-plomas.
	+ As people accumulate more small-plomas, they will eventually be able to level up and get a frame. In that frame, they will be able to assemble the small-plomas into a full diploma. This will avoid the same problem of people taking out loans for the printer ink, because instead people will be taking out loans of smaller amounts for their small-plomas. This will make it so that only the people who truly want to get in debt and truly want that diploma at the end of the day will get it.
	+ If printing small size small-plomas is a problem for a lot of people, then the small-ploma doesn't necessarily have to be small in size; it could just be small in terms of the amount of money put into it. In that way, small-plomas could be the size of a regular diploma, or they could even be larger like poster size. Then, eventually you will assemble all the various small-ploma posters into a really cool huge poster that means you've spent $50,000 and are now a pilot, for instance.
	+ All your small-plomas will come together to form a mosaic of a portrait since you're becoming the best version of yourself when you get a degree. That way, the small-plomas will come together to form a beautiful portrait of yourself at the end.
	+ It will be illegal to create a fake degree.
	+ All other universities will be abolished since Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma will be the way we do it now.
		- Note: This presumably also applies to World Wide Train (verb), meaning the World Wide Train Adult Education Center and the Printerns will be abolished as of the implementation of the Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma program.

## Devil Play

* Drew played devil by having an idea to create 'small-plomas', which wouldn't be full diplomas, but rather small-plomas, where instead of printing a full sheet, you would print a small card like a business card. That's gonna say that the holder has put X amount of money into their education, and people could have multiple small-plomas.
	+ Josiah interrupted to express his feeling that Drew was turning this back into a 'freemium'-style game with loot crates, like the one in his favorite leftist horror movie from earlier in the episode.
	+ Drew disagreed and continued with his thought, saying that as people accumulate more small-plomas, they will eventually be able to level up and get a frame. In that frame, they will be able to assemble the small-plomas into a full diploma. This will avoid the same problem of people taking out loans for the printer ink, because instead people will be taking out loans of smaller amounts for their small-plomas. This will make it so that only the people who truly want to get in debt and truly want that diploma at the end of the day will get it.
	+ Josiah loved the idea in theory, but his one thought was that printing something smaller than standard printer size is not very simple. He asked how people are supposed to be printing the small-plomas.
	+ Drew revealed that he has never had a problem printing smaller things and it's not a big issue for him. He went on to add that if it is a problem for a lot of people, then the small-ploma doesn't necessarily have to be small in size; it could just be small in terms of the amount of money put into it. In that way, small-plomas could be the size of a regular diploma, or they could even be larger like poster size. Then, eventually you will assemble all the various small-ploma posters into a really cool huge poster that means you've spent $50,000 and are now a pilot.
	+ Josiah liked Drew's passion for the small-ploma idea but said he was still on the fence about it. He then posited his own devil play, asking if a Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma would cost $50,000 no matter the level of degree or diploma or certification chosen.
	+ Drew expressed his feeling that maybe there should be special degrees, because of how much room the small-plomas are gonna take up if they're poster sized.
	+ Josiah proposed that the small-plomas will come together to form a mosaic of a portrait since you're becoming the best version of yourself when you get a degree. That way, the small-plomas will come together to form a beautiful portrait of yourself at the end.
	+ Drew said he could see that working.

## Notable Events

* Globe Hell Warming
* Josiah revealed that he has been told by a few people that Drew is good at saying 'welcome' but bad at making people cum well.
* Drew announced that it's Spooky Season because it's October and so Halloween is fast approaching. Josiah revealed that he has always called it Spoopy 'Tober.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Stephen Explains Socialism To Donald Jr. With Halloween Candy" about how Stephen describes economic theory in terms that Donald Trump Jr. can understand: Halloween candy.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The Spectre of Communism" about how its Red October 100.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Top 5 Anti-Capitalist Horror Movies -- Halloween 2018" about how it's a spook 'em up this time!
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Adventure Communist [Spooky State Event]", which is a two-hour YouTube video that is Drew's favorite horror movie. Drew intended to watch the entire movie during this would-be extra-long episode but Josiah moved on, asking what they were doing with their lives.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "After Life - Ricky Gervais "If death is just the end, what's the point?" Scene" about how we should be making our life the most.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Should You Go To College? Here is the answer to one of the most important decisions of your life." about #Bill Maher # Motivation #College #Important #Life #Decision #University #Tuition #Making Money.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Economics | Career Crafting" about how there's different kinds of career opportunities that come from going to college.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Why College Is a “GREAT” Idea in 2021" about why college is a “great” idea in 2021. Josiah and Drew discussed watching more of this person's videos on Patreon in future.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The Student Loans Song" about student loans.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Student Loans, You've Got Me By The Balls - Charles Cornell" about Chris Cornell singing about student loans.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Bill Nye Rant on Last Week Tonight" about Chris Cornell and Bill Nye playing a leftist song together. Josiah and Drew announced that this song is the Globe Hell song.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "How to create and print High School Diploma" about how to make own diplomas and certificates.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Welcome to DiplomaCompany.com!" about how they know diplomas.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Getting a Fake Degree" about how it's moral to get yourself a fake degree.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The Fake Diploma" about someone getting caught with a diploma from a fake high school.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "How to Identify Fake Colleges and Degrees" about how the accredited status of online colleges can tell a student if they are a fake college or not.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Educational Background Music / Education Background Music No Copyright".
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Background music for educational videos / educational music background (No Copyright Music) 10 min".
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "DIPLOMA (Parchment Paper) PRINTING ON BROTHER HL-3150 CDN Laser Printer" about how to print diploma on parchment paper using laser printer from brother.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Best Epson Printers For Home & Office Use || Discount On Amazon" about how you are watching Buying Guide and in this video we gonna show you.
* Drew revealed he does not have a printer, as he is paperless.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "hp.canon.epson.printer second hand [ second hand printer in mumbai ]" about how many printers there are in the world.
* Josiah and Drew rewatched "Background music for educational videos / educational music background (No Copyright Music) 10 min".
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Are Fake Degrees Illegal - Do Fake And Forged Degrees Work - Buy Fake Degrees - Get Job In The Jail" about do fake degree work.
* Drew revealed that his idea for next week will be for their listeners to go and become conscious prison guards.
* Josiah and Drew rewatched ""hp.canon.epson.printer second hand [ second hand printer in mumbai ]".
* Josiah and Drew rewatched "Bill Nye Rant on Last Week Tonight".
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Bill Nye - Planet on Fire Rant vocoded to the piano dub" about Charles Cornell's Piano dub as the carrier in the vocoder but had to polish the midi.
* Josiah and Drew rewatched "Bill Nye Rant on Last Week Tonight".
* Josiah and Drew rewatched "Bill Nye - Planet on Fire Rant vocoded to the piano dub".
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "After Life - Ricky Gervais "How can you not believe in God?" Scene" about how Ricky Gervais is making a diploma from Liverpool High School, where The Beatles went, while talking about atheism.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "You know, uh you're really good at saying 'welcome' to the sh-- you're really good at saying 'welcome' but you're very bad at making other people cum well. Something I've noticed about you."
* "I don't think I get the news at my house. I don't think we have that package. Are we supposed to -- should I sign up for -- how does it work? Something's wrong with my TV; it's just - my TV just shows every different -- every channel is a different hotel chain's welcome channel."
* "Would you say the weather is news?"
* "I actually need to ask you a question. Uh... what the fuck are we doing with our lives?"
* "You think this is a life well spent? To do -- to watch this kind of shit?"
* [In response to Bill Nye lighting a globe on fire] "Globe Hell! Globe Hell!"
* "Americans love to say 'bolth'."
* "So you don't want your degree to be approved or certified."
* "So let me -- just hear me out; this is very clever. This is a very clever thing I'm about to say; you might not understand it at first. Global warming is increasing the number of degrees on the Earth. But I would like Globe Hell *Warning* to increase the number of *degrees* on the Earth by helping people follow their dreams of becoming whatever kind of person they'd like to become in -- at the world of education and self-betterment and learning power. So we're gonna talk about today creating the University -- Free University College Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma."
* "I think maybe you're the wrong person to ask, because you are incredibly stupid."
* [On the topic of the Diploma MILF] "That is exactly what's happening. There's a MILF handing them out and her name is Lady Education, and she's a greedy lover."
* "And so I was thinking, you know, for example, I love to study anthropology, uh it's kind of people-watching the people who go in and out of the Anthropologie uh store in Chinook Mall, see what kind of candles they're buying or a nice [unintelligible] dress. And so I would love to have had a degree in anthropology, but I can't afford it and I also don't wanna go to school; I'm too impatient and I'm can't pay attention long enough."
* "I do have ADHD and it is a disability and I do uh fuel it with my coffee addiction."
* "I mean, I guess, you're gonna probably always be getting a bachelor degree, if you know what I mean."
* "Just remember: buy a fake degree, get a job in the jail."
* [On the topic of puppy MILFs] "Well, I don't think you should be looking at that sort of thing on Facebook. Dogfucking and whatnot. 'Puppy MILF'. 'Puppy MILF'. Nasty."
* "We already have Printerns."

### Drew

* [Speaking in an odd high voice] "Welcome to Globe Hell Warming!"
* "Well, don't fuckin' spoil the point! Don't spoil the point."
* "Shut up, don't say it."
* "Piece of shit."
* [On the topic of whether Martin Scorsese thinks a two-hour YouTube video is a movie] "Well he doesn't think anything is a movie. Except for a bunch of old white men."
* "I need to take some marijuana."
* "Hey, here's an idea! Here's an idea! How 'bout instead of tru-- uh tuition, there's 'Drew'-ition?"
* "STEM is like farming, gardening. Same thing."
* [On the topic of how to identify fake colleges] "Oh, no! There's -- so not only do you have to look into the -- whether it's accredited, you have to see if the accreditation --accreda-- accredation place is credited??"
* "How 'bout instead of the diploma *mill*, we had a diploma MILF?"
* "Are you saying the phenomenon of global warming or are you saying the name of our show?"
* [On the topic of what he would want to learn if he went back to school] "Maybe I would become a spy."
* [On the topic of the Diploma MILF] " 'Hey, this diploma I got isn't working!', 'Well, where'd you get it from?', 'I got it from this damn MILF!' That's what's happening."
* [In response to Josiah saying Drew will always be getting a bachelor degree] "You'll be getting a master's. A master's bati- a master's of bating."
* "OK, so basically we're gonna start selling printers. Is this -- this is your plan."
* "I would encourage our listeners to go and become uh conscious prison guards. I mean, there's -- look, there's my idea for next week. Uh spoiler alert. See ya next week, folks."
* [In response to someone saying the word 'mill'] "MILF."
* "Ahh, she scammed me! I've been scammed by this MILF again!"
* [On the topic of puppy MILFs] "It's not dogfucking. It's not dogfucking. You're the one who talked about -- started talking about dogfucking. Of cour-- of course -- of course it's gonna be -- of course it's gonna be -- of course it's gonna -- you're gonna turn it into me being the sicko. When you're the one who brings it up. Talking about fucking dogs."
* "I mean, we have -- we do have a theme of using prisoners. Maybe what we should have is to have prisoners print the degrees. They have access to printers. Printerns! We already have Printerns. Maybe we should have them involved."
* "Yeah, what happened to the Printerns? When everybody has a printer, who's gonna need the Printerns?"

## Trivia

* At 8:19 in this Cameo film, something was edited out before release because there is a skip in the playback.
	+ Note: Josiah remarked immediately afterward that there was "no technical issue here", so he is likely either mistaken or perhaps this is simply an incorrect listing on the Wiki that should be removed.
* This is Josiah's third episode idea to revolve around education, after World Wide High School and Episode 10: World Wide Train.
	+ Note: This idea abolishes all other schools and universities, which doesn't affect World Wide High School since it was vetoed by Drew in the only usage of a veto on Globe Hell Warning to date, but will presumably affect World Wide Train (verb).
	+ Note: It is somewhat ironic that the idea that abolishes the World Wide Train (verb) involves printers that create fake degrees, since the Printerns who worked at the World Wide Train Adult Education Center had the job of assisting senior citizens with printing counterfeit money.
* The episode title refers to the 'Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma', Josiah's in-episode description refers to the 'Free University College Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma', and the in-episode idea title at the bottom of the screen refers to 'Free University College Dergee World Wide No Tuition Diploma', the discrepancies between all of which are as yet unexplained.
	+ Note: This is the second episode with this kind of idea name discrepancy, after Episode 60: "Flush": The World Wide Ice Berg.
* This is the first episode with the words 'World Wide' in the episode title but not at the front of the episode title since Episode 60: "Flush": The World Wide Ice Berg, though it is the first episode overall to have more than two other words preceding the words 'World Wide' in the episode title.
* This is the third episode idea with an extremely long name, after Episode 17: World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service and Episode 66: World Wide Mutual Aid DIY Delivery Service, though it is the first such episode idea of Josiah's.
* This episode has two notably different episode titles between its audio and video formats. The audio version is titled "Episode 67: Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma", while the video version is titled "Free University Degree World Wide No Tuition Diploma".
	+ Note: The title used for this Globe Hell Warning Wiki page was chosen for its greater degree of clarity.
	+ Note: There is some precedence for excluding the episode number from the episode title, as detailed below:
		- World Wide High School
		- Episode 9: World Wide Landlord was originally titled simply "World Wide Landlord" but was renamed to include the episode number.
		- Bus
		- Episode 19: World Wide Rock Festival was originally titled simply "World Wide Rock Festival" but was renamed to include the episode number.
		- Episode 55: World Wide T'rain, which excluded the episode number from the episode title of the video version.
		- Episode 57: Faster Fashion, which excluded the episode number from the episode title of the video version.
		- Episode 59: Globe Hell Family Podcast Network, which excluded the episode number and included the word '(video)' in the episode title of the video version.
		- Episode 61: Food Baby, which excluded the episode number from the episode title of the video version.
		- The
		- True Crime Podcast, which excluded the episode number from both versions of its episode title and also included the word '(video)' in the episode title of the video version.
		- Episode 66: World Wide Mutual Aid DIY Delivery Service, which excluded the episode number from the episode title of the video version.
* This episode has different Episode Descriptions between its audio and video formats, as shown above.