The Hammersmith Kidnappings.

On the morning of April 9th, 2018, DeSaad Pepper, Jasper Scunthorpe and Wilfred Pebble were discovered by Jebidiah Thornton, Denzel Pepper and Peter Jude (previous branch manager of Hammersmith and Fulham) to have been taken from their beds after having a sleep over. One week later they all appeared in their beds in the same house at the same time. Wilfred was the first to be awoken and told their story to the Jebidiah and his bodyguards.

"I woke up and a man had broken down our door. He was bald with head tattoos and was holding a HS2000 and had it pointed at Jasper's forehead. He whispered in his ear, "Get up boy or I will make you get up." Jasper woke up and accidently hit DeSaad in the cheek in the process. DeSaad sat up saw the gun pointed at his head and thought he was dreaming so went back to bed. Jasper elbowed him in the side so he would wake up then the man introduced himself as Mr. Lazzerton and told us to get outside. We all got up and went outside where he got us in a car with two other men (both bald and also with head tattoos) and we drove off towards the Thames where we got on a little Sailboat and set course for America.

## The Hammersmith Kidnappings

### Performers

Wilfred PebbleDeSaad Pepper

Jasper Scunthorpe

Jebidiah Thornton

The Thornton Assassins

Black and Pink Legs Mafia

Denzel Pepper

Peter Jude

### Location

London - Hammersmith and FulhamLondon - The Thames

New York - Chicago

Jasper explained to us that this man was part of a mafia group that had been helping Witold Letak with his lemon shipping and now we were being taken to the mafia boss because Witold had done something to upset his leader Mr. Lazerooos - whose name made us tremble in fear . The Sailboat had Specialised Engines so we arrived 2 days earlier than we were supposed to."

We were instantly bundled into a car, when we arrived, and set course for Chicago. When we arrived Mr. Lazerooos jumped out of a building and parachuted on top of us. He was the ugliest little man I had ever seen. He was quite short but very stocky and had a black face with white rings around his eyes. He wore Black Robes with a splat of Pink Glitter on his left Leg. The sign of the Black and Pink Legs Mafia. Jasper then went inside the building, that I cannot name for Mr Lazerooos and his friends will kill me if I do so, and then ran out 10 minutes later at top speed. He nodded to me and DeSaad so we punched our captors in the chest and ran into the nearest taxi. We threw the driver out with our combined strength and began the most dangerous car chase in the history of Chicago.

Jasper drove behind us on a motorbike holding one of Mr. Lazerooos' Glitter guns and provided cover fire while our pursers (in black and pink cars known as the Plink Mobiles as Jasper later told us) shot at us with the similar guns. DeSaad drove while I just watched our back. DeSaad then span the car around and drove straight back into the fight. Jasper drove off a ramp and into one of the Plink mobiles and shot at the driver inside who proceeded to do an incredibly high pitched scream and drove into a wall. People were now looking at the chase out of their cars and on the streets. DeSaad crashed into a car and we got out. Jasper got off his motorbike and Mr. Lazerooos epically launched himself out of his car. They both looked at each other with their glitter guns in their holsters. I had no idea who was going to shoot first and me and DeSaad was shaking. Mr. Lazerooos grabbed his gun and shot...

…into the air. They both started laughing and ran to hug each other. The Police had arrived and had been watching on the side-lines but were now moving people out of the way. "Yo that was an epic prank weren't it Jasper." Mr Lazerooos said in between bursts of laughter that sounded weirdly like a seal. Jasper laughed and replied that it was. Me and DeSaad looked very confused and asked what was going on. Jasper told us that Lazerooos had taken us to America to prank us and, more importantly, pay for defence for Letak Lemons.

After he gave us money to pay of Witold's debts we were finally sent off home with 2 days until the end of the week. We arrived back in our beds and then Mr. Lazzerton (our original kidnapper) tucked us into bed and we fell asleep. We finally woke up and saw Jebidiah Thornton and The Thorntoniers above us (a sight more terrifying than what we saw a week before).