Sick as a Dragon/Transcript

The full verbal transcript of the episode.

## Script

*(The episode begins at Weaver House's dinner table, where the family is eating Chinese food from Panda Rex. They ordered combo platters with egg rolls, wonton soup, chicken fried rice and a drink or their choosing; Carl's main dish is Kung Pao Shrimp, Zelda's is Moo Goo Gai Pan, Hilda's is Szechuan chicken and Sarah's is sesame chicken. While taking a break from eating her Szechuan Chicken, Hildaistellingthefamilyaboutoneofherpatients.)*

**Hilda:**Iola literally had some of the most crooked teeth I've seen all year! But they'll be looking better when her braces start working!

**Zelda:**Whoa! That must have been some hard work, little sis! (*Turns to her niece*) So what's new with you, Sarah?

**Sarah:**Well, one of Gwenog Ravenwaves's friends called Kiara said she has to get her measles shot, I heard talking on her phone about it. I think Muggles have some odd ways they get sick...

**Carl:** Hey, witches and wizards can get sick! But no matter what sort of blood we have, we can't get Muggle measles!

**Zelda:** You're absolutely right, neffy-poo! But we CAN get Wiccan Pox, low broom sugar, cauldron tunnel syndrome, and worst of all, magic flu, more commonly known as witchitis/wizarditis! Just to name a few...

**Carl:** Oh, I got wizarditis countless times! But I don't believe in getting the vaccines, because after my first booster shot, I just got it the following week!

**Zelda:** Oh! And speaking of witchitis shots...(turns to her niece) Sarah, after dinner, I'm gonna be giving you a booster shot for witchitis. You've never had one in your life!

(*Sarah spits out her iced orange pekoe tea.*)

**Sarah:** W-w-w-what? You want me to get a...a...a...a SHOT?!?!?!

**Zelda:**Yes, as your doctor AND aunt, I prescribe a witchitis booster. We'll begin as soon as I get my things together.

(*Sarah is silent for the rest of dinner, while the others discuss plans for if Sarah gets sick. The only sound out of her is chopsticks being used and her chowing down. The singer is heard singing a sad "Nah Nah Nah Nah Naaaaaahhh...")*

*(After dinner, Zelda has her equipment together: her lab coat on, stethoscope around her neck and doctor's instruments at the ready. She beckons her little sister to help find Sarah.)*

**Zelda:**Hildegard, I will need you to find Sarah. She might be hiding somewhere in this house, and we can't lose her. (*calling to her niece*) Oh, Sarah!!

**Hilda:**Miss Saraaaaahhh!

(*Sarah is revealed to be hiding in Carl's Yu-Gi-Oh! card box. He is about to close the lid.)*

**Carl:**But this is the last time I' m helping you in a situation like this, little sis.

**Sarah:**You're such a good big brother.

**Zelda and Hilda:**Saraaaaaahhh! (*They look in every corner of her room and Carl's. They cannot seem to find her.*)

**Zelda:**Alright, Sarah! You might have gotten out of a shot THIS time, but tomorrow, you're gonna get it!

(*Zelda and Hilda walk down the stairs.*)

**Sarah:**(*from inside the box*) Is the coast clear?

**Carl:**Uh, yeah! Now let's get you... (*sings like the theme song of a certain Playhouse Disney show you 2000's kids may remember*) Out of the box, out of the box! (*Takes Sarah out of it.*)

**Sarah:**Thanks for helping me this one time, Carl. I owe you one.

**Carl:**No prob, Sarah. Just remember that avoiding a witchitis shot's gonna take its toll on you...

**Sarah:**Okay...

(*Sarah walks out while Carl stares at her, cueing the Commercial cut.*)

(Commercial break)

(*After commercials are done, the morning seems like any normal one, with the paperboy delivering the newspaper...until we take a look at Sarah in her canary yellow nightie.*)

**Sarah:**(\*yawns\*)

(*When she yawns, we see something is off about her: she has an acid green tongue! She walks to the mirror to say good morning to herself.*)

**Sarah:**(\*yawns\*, then gasps) Yuck! I'd better use extra-strength toothpaste. (*She starts to walk away, but then double-takes at the mirror*) Wait a minute! A green tongue?! CAAAAARRRLLLL!!!!

**Carl:**Hey, sis, how's your morning?

**Sarah:**Look, my tongue is green!

**Carl:**DID YOU SAY A GREEN TONGUE?!?!?! Let's check your temperature...(*sticks a thermometer in her ear and reads the temperature after the beep*) 102.7°? That's a fever!!! Are you coughing heavy?

**Sarah:**(\*coughs heavily, turning him into a kangaroo\*) Yeah...

**Carl:**And you turned me into a kangaroo?!?! I think you have....WITCHITIS!!!!!!! ZELDAAAAAAAA!!!!! (thumps hard on her door, waking her up without putting on her glasses.)

**Zelda:**Don't you get the concept of Sundays, Carl?

**Carl:**It's an emergency, Aunt Zelda! Sarah has witchitis!!

**Zelda:**(*gasps*) She has WHAT?!?! (*her face of surprise suddenly turns into a concerned angry face*) I'm going to go grill her about this!!

(*Zelda walks into Sarah's room with a bowl of instant oatmeal, her glasses on her eyes and the same concerned angry on her face, with her bathrobe still on.*)

**Sarah:**I'VE GOT WITCHITIS!! OH MAN!!I

**Zelda:**Sarah, I warned you about getting a vaccine, and now look what happened!  You must stay in your nightie, eat foods like oatmeal, toast, etc., get plenty of rest and take your medicine.

**Sarah:**Guess I should have taken the shot, if only needles didn't freak me out!

**Zelda:** I am glad you understand that. Now, eat your oatmeal and get some rest. I'll be back with SpellQuil Day so you can take your medicine.

**Sarah:**I love you, Aunt Zelda!

**Zelda:**I love you too, niecy-poo!

(*Meanwhile, Carl and Hilda are eating their oatmeal in their pajamas, Carl with his right hand and Hilda with her left.*)

**Carl:**Hilda, Sarah is very sick today.

**Hilda:**(deadpan) Yep...I know. Your Aunt Zelda told me.

(*Zelda walks into the kitchen and pours the boiling water onto her instant oatmeal. She then stirs it with her right hand and lets it cool while talking to her nephew and sister.*)

**Zelda:**​​​​​​Hilda, Carl, after breakfast we're gonna make medicine for Sarah, and you guys can leave your pajamas on, cuz we always leave our pajamas on on Sundays. First we'll make the SpellQuil Day so she can take it during the day, and then we'll make SpellQuil Night to give her the magician's best "nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, magic fits, fever, best sleep with magic flu, medicine."

**Hilda:**Wow! You remembered the commercials!

(*Scene transitions to the basement, where Zelda is reading from the book Recipes for Magical Medicines the Whole Family Can Enjoy. She has already started the SpellQuil Day mixture and is telling her nephew and sister what to add.*)

**Zelda:**First, add five sunflower petals.

**Carl:**(*picks the petals*) One, two, three, four, five. (*adds them to the cauldron*) Okay!

**Zelda:**Next, add two mint leaves.

**Hilda:**(*adding the mint leaves*) Two mint leaves!

**Zelda:**Now we raise the heat and let the medicine boil for five minutes until it turns pink.

(*Time card reads "5 Minutes Later..."* )

**Zelda:**Now we add a clump of knotgrass.

**Carl:**(*adding it to the cauldron*) In you go, knotgrass clump!

**Zelda:**Stir five times clockwise. (*uses her right hand to stir the medicine clockwise, and it turns yellow.*) And then we add a tisp of powdered unicorn horn.

**Hilda:**Check-a-leck-a-ding-dong! (*pours the powder into the cauldron with the teaspoon measure in her left hand*)

**Zelda:**Now we allow the potion to summer for seven minutes until it turns sunshine gold.

(*Title card reads "7 Minutes Later..."* )

**Zslda:**And last but not least, a tibsp of honey!

**Carl:**Gotcha. (*pours the honey onto the tablespoon measure in his right hand, then pours it into the cauldron, turning the potion orange.*)

**Zelda:**And wave your wand to complete the medicine. *Grabs her wand with her right hand and waves it, thus completing the medicine.*)