Let's Play MUFFIN TIME

## ★ ADAM'S CHALKBOARD ★

**Let's Play MUFFIN TIME** is a video in the Board Game Club series. It is the second most viewed video on the No Rolls Barred channel, behind *Guess Who, But With VIBES Only*.

"*The floodgates are now open - bitch!*"
―Dan
## Notable moments

* The first rule of Board Game Club is "2 medium eggs, 250ml of milk, 250g of sugar, and 400g of self-raising flour. Stick that in your mi-cro-wa-ve". (Someone should try that recipe and see what happens. Actually, I'm assuming someone has tried that recipe - what happened?)
* Who will be *the blueberry muffin (which is shit)*? Who will be t*he chocolate chip muffin, which are the best muffins*?
* The meecrow-warvay (it's really hard to do in text, give me a break) reference is very specific and based on an eccentric pronunciation from 'Gnarly Carley from a pure dimension' Nigella Lawson.
* This is loud and giggly and potentially quite mean. We have a wonderful, chaotic episode.
* TomSka says the game is shit. He's allowed to do that. He's also rules-legislating which he is also allowed to do.
* We have a brief and spirited debate about the logistics of rock, paper, scissors.
* Adam: "Fuck you, Tilly!" Dan: "That's a lot of anger for a victory!"
* Tilly on Adam: "He's jealous of me because I'm young, I'm funny and I'm cute. And these are all things that he must destroy at any cost."
* Teri spot! Hi Teri! Teri holding Adam to many draws of rock, paper, scissors. Suspiciously we keep going till Adam wins.
* Laurie can't do a good gun noise. James sorts it out.
* Dan discovers cameras.
* Dan: "They're not all gold, Tom. It's a big pile."
* Dan: "I did yoga. Once."
* Adam is coquettish, apparently.
* Adam: "So much of the last 5 minutes was, like, borderline. It was just whimsy - it wasn't enough to be sarcastic and me tonally policing it was driving me mad! So good, now everyone can be a dick!"
* Sullivan is making Adam speak in a baby voice. We're not keen on that. Laurie: "Adam's baby voice is one of the worst things that has been committed to film." It's all Sullivan's fault. The baby's moving like Peter Andre and now everyone's joining in. Adam's threatening to keep the damn voice up. We workshop professional babies - SATIRE ALERT.
* TomSka had not expected to have to ever play this game. "I"m really upset ... I wanted to watch people from my tower. Don't look at them down there! [spits] Scum!"
* Dan: "I'm shaking with how exciting that was!"
* Disgustingly, TomSka is left-handed, we blur it.
* Tilly: "I'm going to be honest, I didn't completely understand what the card was saying."
* Laurie loses his hat, his source of power. Dan: "They're all good looks for me".
* More SATIRE ALERT.
* Tilly: "It's a very vulnerable thing you're doing Tom, playing your own game."
* TomSka: "If it's on my channel, everyone will just target me so I get nothing - you know how it is. " Adam: "I get it. I fucking get it." Laurie: "He doesn't know how it is. No-one's ever targeted you, you're just bad at games!"
* Dan: "Remember, I'm a delight!"
* Tilly on TomSka: "He's taking it well."
* I can't count the number of times we've had the 'who is the oldest person?' conversation around this table. ARE THE OLD PEOPLE'S MEMORIES FADING? It's Adam. It's always Adam. It's still Adam. And while we're on it, Tilly's the youngest. Always. Still. FFS.
* Tilly: "I'd like the record to show that I nearly won. Can we have a board for that?" Laurie says she has to bring it in from home, like Adam did his.
* One of my favourite chalkboard exchanges... Dan: "There are 5 of us and 1 of you, so the losses are many, many more always, than win opportunities. So why is it then used as an excuse to bully you?" Adam: "Well, I've accumulated a very poor friendship group, is the main problem. " Dan: "Do you think that is your fault?" Adam: "I do think it is mostly down to my personality." Laurie: "I think it's worth noting that he does pay us."
* The 70s snooker commentators reappear. Dan wants the narration when he goes shopping later. Nobody believes he eats cucumber.
* Tilly: "I'm either having a really great time, or the worst time of my life. There's no in between. None."
* There are rules to a thumb war, apparently. It ends with bloody violence, in Croydon.
* Sullivan: "They're feeling each other out here. And the game is also going on."
* TomSka to Sullivan: "Why do you have to be this way?"
* Sullivan has tiny t-rex arms.
* Nobody has the lemons card, but we can torment Sullivan for a while about it.
* James gives us a little jingle for *Spicy Boy Time*.
* Laurie: "That's muffinwang! That's muffin comma wang!"
* Dan to Adam: "You steal my look and then you steal my cards!"
* Tilly: "If I don't drink water, I'll die."
* Adam: "This is the stupidest game of Board Game Club we've ever done."
* The Tilly problem is very similar to the trolley problem.
* Tilly's going to stop Dan's card mostly by wishing and vibes.
* TomSka to Sullivan: "You can say Muff time - don't be a coward."
* Sullivan claims the music for the anti-piracy ad was actually stolen. TomSka says it's an urban legend. But we like the story anyway.
* Adam can't hold onto cards.
* Laurie fears standing up will wax the backs of his legs where they're stuck to his chair.
* Tilly thinks comparing sizes is a male ego issue. Adam's definitely tallest. I wonder if we'll even bother to remember this if it ever comes up again?
* Tilly: "I'm actually a very bright woman."
* Adam: "The entire game is just Laurie being like 'I've won, right?' and Tom's coming like [hits] NO!"
* Dan: "And that, bitch, is a long con!"
* TomSka does a very good trombone impression.
* Dan's the only one who can fix it now.
* TomSka: "Maybe once I'll win my own game, just once. Please God."
* Laurie on Adam: "He wouldn't know a win if it bit him on the dick."
* Tilly: "It's not really a Waterstones vibe, is it?" TomSka: "Get fucked!"

## Talking Heads

Talking heads are available this episode. Timestamps:

* 4:41 - Tilly
* 4:57 - Adam is undefeatable
* 6:43 - "Do it in post"
* 14:17 - Laurie
* 14:40 - Baby Adam
* 17:48 - SATIRE ALERT
* 19:38 - Dan
* 19:55 - TomSka
* 26:06 - SATIRE ALERT
* 29:15 - TomSka
* 32:58 - Tillys Near Wins
* 37:05 - Laurie
* 38:13 - Adam
* 38:39 - TomSka
* 39:52 - Dan
* 43:21 - Sullivan
* 44:55 - Spicy Boy Time
* 50:29 - TomSka
* 56:55 - Adam
* 1:07:20 - TomSka
* 1:07:33 - Adam
* 1:07:46 - Laurie

## Trivia

* Game introduction and rules are presented by Laurie.
* This is the first Board Game Club appearance for Dan and for guest TomSka, noted friend of Dan.
* TomSka created and published this game.
* Chalkboard is updated with two losses.
* An extended version of this episode is available on the No Rolls Barred Patreon.

1. ↑ Timestamps provided by Peter on the Patreon Discord