The Fart That Ruined Christmas

The Fart That Ruined Christmas is an event stemming from Lord Sasey's Christmas party, an event on the 25th of December 2008.

## EVENTS IN ORDER

12/24/08 - 8:06 PM | Lord Sasey sends a letter to all Saseysian Royals and other prominent members of the Saseysian Advisory Council.

12/25/08 - 1:26 AM | Lord Sasey sends another letter to everyone reminding them that they **MUST** bring food and a present for him.

12/25/08 - 3:47 AM | Lord Sasey rings a bell in the Fart Palace causing everyone in a 3-mile radius to wake up very early in the morning.

12/25/08 - 7:12 AM | Lord Sasey makes his first Christmas announcement on live television, claiming that Saseysya was going to have another prosperous year.

12/25/08 - 12:12 PM | Lord Sasey farts into the microphone at the Christmas parade. (Blames it on fairies)

12/25/08 - 4:56 PM | Some guests start arriving at the Fart Palace for the Christmas party.

12/25/08 - 7:30 PM | The Christmas party officially starts.

12/25/08 - 7:34 PM | Ched Chomeo is publicly executed because he didn't have a gift prepared for Sasey.

12/25/08 - 8:26 PM | The Christmas feast is prepared and laid out on the table.

12/25/08 - 8:30 PM | Lord Sasey asks if anyone wanted a slice of ham, nobody responded so he took the entire ham to his plate.

12/25/08 - 8:40 PM | Lord Sasey starts to feel sick and asks everyone if they knew what type of ham it was.

12/25/08 - 8:40 PM | Sasey discovers that the ham was black forest ham and says that it always makes his stomach upset.

12/25/08 - 8:50-9:20 PM | Sasey's stomach starts growling and making terrible sounds while he is hunched over groaning and in pain.

12/25/08 - 9:21 PM | Sasey excuses himself from the table and says that he has to use "The little fairies' room" (The balcony which he uses as a bathroom directly above the front entrance of the palace)

12/25/08 - 9:25 PM | People at the Christmas party recall hearing what sounded like the ghastly breaths of a dying person.

12/25/08 - 9:26 PM | One of the loudest farts ever recorded in Saseysian history is heard upstairs where the balcony is located. Power outages everywhere in Saseysya happen all at once, a foul odor fills the air, and black smog starts to surround the country allowing for no natural light to reach the ground.

12/25/08 - 9:28 PM | Lord Sasey is heard upstairs tripping and falling on things while everyone else is still seated at the table with no light or power.

12/25/08 - 9:35 PM | Lord Sasey finally arrives with a lit candle and announces what has happened.

# **WHAT HAPPENED ACCORDING TO SASEY**

Lord Sasey claims that while he was using the restroom, a group of fairies who like to pull mean tricks on him, ganged up and started pranking him by making the sky dark and making everything smell mysteriously like a fart. Lord Sasey says that it was in fact **NOT A FART** and that it was all the fairies' doing, he also claims that the fairies told him directly that they were tired of him and didn't want to meet his friends downstairs when he asked them to. Sasey also claims that everything should be cleared up in about 5 minutes, which turned out to be a period of 3 days.

12/25/08 - 9:40 PM | Lord Sasey orders everybody to the saferoom because he says the fairies are very violent and are going to mess with them all night long unless they are hiding. One thing to note is that during the period of talking to his guests and going to the saferoom, his pants were pulled down all the way and his underwear had dark brown streaks.

12/25/08 - 10:00 PM - 12/27/08 | Nothing has been publicly stated from what happened in the saferoom.

12/28/08 - 4:57 PM | Power is restored and the smog as well as the odor is lifted at the same time.

12/28/08 - 5:30 PM | Lord Sasey appears before the Saseysian News Network and issued a response on what had happened.

## SASEY'S RESPONSE

"My fellow Saseysians! As you may have noticed, we are facing a multinational crisis inflicted upon our beautiful country! On December 25, at the Christmas party I held at my palace, I ate an entire "Black Forest" as we gathered around the table for our splendid feast. At this time, I did not know it was "Black Forest" ham, like what even is that? I started to feel a little gaseous in my bowels and I'm not gonna lie here, it really frickin' hurt! This feeling was something I had never felt before, it put me in so much pain! So, I excused myself to go to my royal throne... It's actually my balcony but who cares! While I'm pulling down my pants and I started to go... Did my dance and what not... I hear this stupid frickin' buzzing sound! I'm like DUDE! WHAT IS THAT?! And I was getting REALLY mad! Turns out the fairies ONCE AGAIN pulled pranks on me and made me feel upset and stuff. They made the sky all black, and it smelt really bad for some reason! So yeah, this is basically proof that they DO EXIST, to all you stupid countries that don't believe me or whatever, but I'd like to clarify, THIS WAS NOT A FART! I DIDN'T DO IT! IT WAS ALL THE FAIRIES' BIDDING! STUPID FAIRIES! I should also mention, this "Black Forest" stuff is actually a terrorist organization that are working together with the fairies and I will not tolerate that! I can't have some stupid fairies and these Black Forest guys coming after me so we're setting up the Saseysian Fairy Ring which is a group of HIGHLY TRAINED professionals to hunt down these fairies and rid my beautiful country of this Black Forest nonsense! Anyways... A lot of people have been spreading rumors about me apparently having "Poop" smeared all over my underwear, I'm going to take off my underwear so you can see them... Shoot... Ok... Good talk everyone!"