Donald Trump

*Note that this page is of considerable length, especially when compared to most other pages on the Wiki*

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## Donald J. Trump

* Standard Appearance
* Staring into Space
* Golfer Trump
* Peach-Trapped
* Fry-Eater Frank
* Sweaty-Betty
* Thicc Tennis Tim

### Relatives

* Clumpus
* Donald Skump

## Biographical information

### Marital status

Married... but it's the least of his priorities, honestly.

### Place of birth

Unknown; possibly the White House movie theater

## Physical description

### Eye color

Blue

**Donald John Trump**, birthname Schlenkles Gon-Gon, is a self-proclaimed business-man, toaster-inspector, and infamous political figure. Most notably, he managed to become the 45th president of the United States of America. When he realized just how much power he had in his hands, he started to become a bit corrupted, and essentially tried to take over the entire planet, wanting to alter it into whatever he saw fit. The man had all kinds of sneaky and stupendous super-weapons hidden within his arsenal, which he used to fight invasive aliens and pesky immigrants. All of these so-called weapons were all super powerful, and if they had got into the wrong hands (they already were), they could've caused devastation.

In fact, there was one notable ability Trump had, however, but it doesn't have anything to do with some sort of ridiculous super-weapon. Whenever Trump would sweat way too much, his sweat started to gain acidic properties. Trust me, when I mean sweat, I don't mean "I took a brisk walk when it was 76° outside" kind of sweaty, I mean this man's sweat-glands were dumping out oceans. This strange quirk has no effect on Trump himself, but anyone else who touched him would be severely burned. Trump was less worried about how this was scientifically possible, and was more worried about trying to invite his least-favorite people over to exercise on extremely-humid summer days. Anyways, near the tail-end of his presidency, Donald was just getting too old, and all of this "world domination" shlock became more tiring than him without his bedtime meds. Now all he wants to do is just take control of his lawn, to prevent those damn kids from playing on it. In spite of all of this, Trump's obsession with his outdated, absurd, and unreachable plan for world-domination still rear its ugly head, every now and then.

## **Life**

Now, let's just say, that the early life for Trump was not the best. Trump's parents were two deadbeat crocodiles who simply couldn't afford the leisurely accommodations that most families could afford at the time. I'm not just talking about having a TV - Trump's family did not have the money to afford basic plumbing. Poor Trump was forced to drop his steamy loads on the grass outside, rather than having his anus in the comfort of a clean toilet. Sounds like a bad fate, but it doesn't get any better. Those bathroom trips must be made worse by all the slop that Trump had to eat. Eating random bugs, and your own dead skin isn't was most people would consider a satisfactory meal, but this was the harsh diarrhea that Trump had to consume on a nearly daily basis. No surprise here, Trump was often bullied at school. His lack of hygiene always resulted in him smelling like ketchup-scented, deep-fried, rotten macaroni socks, and even his breath would cause his own teeth to commit suicide. There wasn't much to do about it either, since showers resorted to just jumping into some murky pond, hoping something didn’t try and pull you under. This life was imaginably hard, but thankfully, it would all change when Trump found a $5 bill lying on the ground. That was worth like, a gajillion dollars back in the day, so it was pretty outstanding. Ever since then, Trump and his family were able to afford a new house, eat actual food, and use basic things like the gas station for their all-new car. Trump's parents might have passed away years ago, but they will forever remain in the recesses of Trump's crusty molten mind... and that's the story of Donald Trump's childhood. At least, that's the story he likes to blabber on about whenever he tries to bring up his past as an excuse for his mid-doings. He always likes to cry crocodile tears whenever doing it too.

Donald Trump was quite the popular, and well-respected celebrity back in the day, before he was president, famous for making multiple guest appearances in various pop-culture media. He even managed to star in in his own show, How I Ate That Ballsack. It's a talk-show where he discusses the various kooky stories of his life; mostly about how he ate that ballsack. He also managed to scribble together a couple of books including Donald's Guide to Life, and Donald Trump: A Biography. Ever since his toes tapped down on the floor of the oval office, Donald Trump has become a well-hated figure around the world, yet this never deters Trump. Rather he enjoys it, claiming that his haters are "un-patriotic" and "afraid that they have to deal with a real president for once."

Donald Trump's presidency was fueled heavily by his goal to successfully construct a border wall that would block off Mexico. This wall has been built, and currently is made only of deep-fried vomit and barbed wire in the future. It's unknown why deep-fried vomit is being used, since an impact with a mere sand grain will cause it to shatter. Another way Trump had promoted presidency was by promising to bring back the world-renowned Poop Scoop Machine. The Poop Scoop Machine was a revolutionary device that allowed poop to be scooped from any place in just nanoseconds. After being introduced in 2003, and shortly discontinued in 2007, the demand for the product increased, especially after 2010. Of course, this machine has yet to return, and when questioned about it Trump replies with "I'm busy." One of Trump's favorite past times is golf. Why? I don't know, maybe because it has to do with small smooth white balls? Regardless, Trump thinks its a good way to pass the time, AND to get in shape. It's a double-combo there, and Trump likes those, such as McDoubles from McDonald's! Trump may hate some people in the world, Hillary Clinton is a good example, but he firmly believes that he could play along with anyone when it comes to golf. It's not even a competition to him, as long as he's able to have a good time with his golf buddies, he considers it a game well spent. Truly a man we should all aspire to be like.

## **Presidency**

As anybody would know by now, Donald J. Trump used to be the president of the United States of America. Now, how could such a person even manage to accomplish such a goal? Through purely gaining enough voters? No, of course not. Trump actually had a deal with Botswana Sr. He would reward him with $400,000, and a free bag of mini-caramel Crotch Cakes, if he were to annihilate Hillary Clinton, and replaced her with a clone. This clone was meant to be constructed as awful as humanly possible, insuring that all potential votes would head straight to Trump's grimy doorstep. Botswana didn't say a word but reluctantly agreed, so he took the real Hillary Clinton to another planet, having her limbs get ripped off by aquatic baboons. He then commissioned a friend from another dimension, to craft brand-new Hillary, made from spare human remains, and glued together with expired butt paste. To no surprise, Trump dominated the election. He claimed he would resurrect Albert Einstein, bring back the golden Burger King pooper-scooper, remove all taxes, erase tomatoes from existence, he would fund the Dr. Phil and Steve Harvey crossover movie among many, many, other things. Compared to the Hillary clone's speech about her swollen nose, and her favorite sitcom, Trump got an incredible amount of support. I mean, with promises to eradicate tomatoes, it wasn't hard to see why people had voted for him. Well, after finally becoming president... time to deliver on all those promises right? No. It was nothing more than a lie to get people to vote for him. When such news was broken to the public, it wasn't pretty. People were beyond furious that Trump would lie about something as important as the Dr. Phil and Steve Harvey crossover movie. People would get murdered for even pretending that such cinema was actually in development. In fact, Trump's uncle was later discovered, missing everything but his big toe-nails when he once told the lie. Yet, Trump already knew that this would be the case. That's why he already planned something to make sure he wouldn't be ripped to both metaphorical & physical shreds. It was none other than the "Donald's Bread, Cake, and Steak" diner. This place would have the finest dishes in all of Semi-New York City. Needless to say? The business was a success! To the surprise of Trump haters, the place really DID have the finest grease-bucket dishes in all of Semi-New York City. People were flocking to the place left and right to get a taste of the amazing food. The plans for special brand-collaborations, such as Toyota, only increased the joint's success. Now that people were preoccupied with all of this unhealthy but delectable food, his presidency could continue without any roadblocks.

### **The International U.S Tennis and Wrestling League**

You can't just not mention the I.U.S.T.A.W.L when discussing Trump's surge of kooky, colorful changes. It was February 2017, when Trump was scheduled to have a speech at Timothy's Bowling Alley and Ice Skating Rink. At the event itself, Trump discussed all kinds of stuff nobody cares about. What he did mention was his plans to start the International U.S Tennis and Wrestling League. Finally the United States would have a reason to exist. "Those tennis players can get all sweaty messing with balls, and then they can get down and dirty covering each other with their sweaty sweat. You wouldn't see this from that Hillary lady, would you?" Stated Trump at the speech. No one was sure who exactly wanted this at all. But since Trump was president nobody could really do anything about it.

### **McDonald's All-day Breakfast & the Donald Trump Burger**

One time Trump went to McDonald's. He was just craving a sausage-slime egg sandwich. When he asked for it, he was absolutely appalled to find out they weren't serving breakfast at that time of day. Trump could not accept this. Breakfast isn't available ALL day?? Abhorrent. That's why Trump announced his plans to force Mc 'the ice cream machine is broken' Donald's to serve breakfast through out the entire day. "Finally, America can fully enjoy the patriotic bliss of this establishment. Those egg McMuffins should be available all the time, the fact that it wasn't is pretty much worth of life in prison. Americans will dine well now." So ever since then McDonald's has sold breakfast items throughout the whole day. This wasn't the last time Trump impacted McDonald's though. The CEO of the establishment decided to release a limited-time menu item based on former president Trump. It was the Donald Trump burger. CEO Man never realized how much of genius idea all-day breakfast was. The only way he could send a token of appreciation was to give Donald his very own sandwich. The Donald Trump burger came with 6 deep-fried zebra patties, ketchup, mayo, mustard, relish, BBQ sauce, big mac sauce, ranch, horse radish, pee, creamy butt paste, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, eggplant, pumpkin seeds, avocado, kiwi, peach, banana slices, pear juice, tangerine, corn, expired poop cream, sour cream, pomegranate, potato slices, chocolate icing, vanilla icing, sprinkles, garlic, baking powder, onion powder, parsley, paprika, puke shavings, marshmallow fluff, Oreo crumbs, expired pop-tart crumbs, and topped with crusty, dusty sesame seed and eyeball filled peanut butter chocolate cupcake flavored mountain dew paste flavored meat flavored explosive bloody feces flavored apple that looks like a foot flavored spicy chip flavored crouton flavored moldy toenail flavored Parmesan cheese flavored hot dog flavored bathroom wipes flavored bun, and a glass of J juice on the side. Truly a meal fit for any president. Trump absolutely destroyed his insides after taking just one bite of the sandwich, but he still claims it to be the best cuisine he's ever tasted, not counting every other meal he's ever eaten. The Trump burger was only available from January 2017 to January 2021, not counting how frequently it was completely unavailable. Trump has stated the if he is able to be president for 3500 years in a row, he will release the recipe for the Trump burger to the public. The president of Saskatchewania once tried to steal the recipe for the Trump burger, but he was assassinated by the U.S government and Saskatchewania was nuked off the face of the Earth.

### **The Mexican Wall**

Everybody knows about the wall. Trump's main goal in his presidency was to build that wall. Why though? As previously stated, Trump wanted the wall built so the Mexicans wouldn't steal his ballsack collection. Trump has claimed that people of Hispanic origins are always sneaking into his bedroom, trying to find his collection of nuts. This has made him so angry, he figured the only way to stop this was to block Mexico from the USA entirely. "I've had just about enough of these people stealing my nuts. Time and time again I deport them, yet they seem to be attracted to my male-genital museum. Frankly, I think the best course of action to take is to just block those Mexicans from ever entering our disaster of a country." stated Trump in a 1836 interview. Trump originally wanted to detach Mexico from North America, so the "US could rest soundly at night", but it couldn't be done due to high costs. So just constructing a wall was good enough for Trump. The wall is currently made out of deep-fried vomit and barbed wire, as stated earlier. Despite plans to reconstruct it with steel, the wall actually works... somehow. The deep-fried vomit cracks as it gets older and crustier, which can leave large pointy spikes. Obviously you can't climb on giant spikes, so the Mexicans couldn't get up it! Though, the Mexicans never actually tried to steal Trump's ballsack collection. They are constantly confused as to why Trump hates them. Trump is actually seen as the devil in Mexican culture. That is a 100% true fact, just look it up and you'll find out all about it. Trust me. Anyways, Clillary Hinton stated the the idea of building a wall around Mexico was dumb and stupid and a waste of money. Trump responded with "It must be a waste of money to cover up all them emails."

### **The Second Wall**

On November 20th, 2020, Trump was in the White House admiring the statue of himself. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him in that very moment. What if I built TWO walls? Trump couldn't believe it... it was so obvious! Had a problem with those Mexicans? Just build a second wall, instead of having just one! With double the protections, there's almost no way they would get their hands on those amazing nut sacks. Trump, all giddy, went to his team to tell them about the revelation he just had. They were also excited as well, as Trump dragged on about how good of an idea two walls would be. After a couple hours of babbling, one of the team members finally suggested that Trump get this second wall built. Trump hugged the guy to death, and then ordered the construction on a second wall. People across the web whined on and on about Trump, but he was simply too occupied in his day-dreams of the second wall to even remotely care. Eventually while Trump was taking a dump, one of his team members popped his head out of the sink, to alert Trump that the wall was nearly complete. Trump was pretty happy, as suggested by the explosion in his toilet. After that, Trump headed down to the newly-name Border-Wall Valley. He stepped out of the Poop-Cake branded sponsor plane, and stared smiling at the amazing wall in front of him. It was seemingly constructed from concrete, mustard, and vice president Mike Pence. Trump was so happy that he shed a single tear... actually he nearly killed everyone after filling the whole are with his ocean of tears. After realizing that his tears actually corroded the wall, he ordered a team member to shoot the tear water and kill it. They did and the water died. Trump laid back against the wall chuckling to himself. He pulled out a fishing pole with a taco hooked to it. He then lowered the taco down the other side of the wall, and left the pole there. "As you can see, I've laid out some bait." Trump said. Trump silently waited for someone to try and snag his insensitive bait. 5 minutes had past with nothing notable happening, aside from the bipedal toilet that tried to eat one of Trump's team members. Trump figured it be gone the next day, so he and his team just went back into the airplane and left.

## **The Precarious Pee-Gummy Epidemic**

What’s one thing you think of when you think of Trump and food? There could be many answers, but the most popular is Donald Trump’s Officially Licensed Pee-Gummies. They’re quite self-explanatory - they’re simply Trump’s delicious warm urine converted into edible gummies! They’re very popular around the world. A top delicacy you could say. Even the people that despised Trump would stash his pee-gummies like they're drugs. Who knew that someone so hated could make something so good? But isn't all poop-shine and pee-bows here... one of the most abhorrent disasters to ever face the planet occurred... the pee-gummies... were gone...

Yes, Trump's scrump-diddly-umptious penile snacks were out of stock. Not in just the U.S, but everywhere around the world. People freaked. There was riots everywhere, people were going insane at the thought that they wouldn't be able to have the liquid excrement of Donald Trump squished into a convenient bite-sized snack. Trump was freaking out too. Why were these gummies gone? Because his urine was gone too! Trump got up one morning teethed his brush and went to unleash a lemonade shower into the toilet. He stood for a bit, but nothing came out. He stood a little more but still... nothing at all. He chugged 3 gallons of water, but still, he didn't even shed a drop. Trump was worried. What's wrong? Does he have some sort of medical problem? How is he supposed to create pee gummies if he can squirt out a drop testicular honey!? Trump didn't know what to do... a logical person would simply go the doctor, but instead Trump just didn't say anything about it. He figured he'd make a speech about how the watery waste bits had "simply disappeared", and that the person responsible would be "torn to shreds by my personal butt-wax slaves." Little did they know that Trump himself was solely responsible. People from around the world joined together to hunt down the people that caused this mess. Even countries that hated each other put aside their differences for this super-important event. Now how exactly would Trump be able to work this one out...?

Trump was pretty scared. He had to start urinating again, before the whole planet fell to ruins. His first idea? Drink tons of liquid. It makes you pee a whole lot, right? So Trump rushed to his fridge. There was only poop-sicles, eggnog, and ostrich meat. I don't think any of those things are liquids. Trump then rushed to his sink, and sprayed all of the tap water straight into his juicy mouth-hole. He kept going, the water-bill he never paid would be millions of dollars, but Trump was rushing. He kept going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going until there wasn't a single drop to be found. Well, that was it. If Trump somehow couldn't pee after all of that, he wouldn't know what to do. So... he waited. Waited until the urge to excrete the ocean from his bladder built up so high he would die. He just kept... waiting. Doing things like braiding his armpit-hair to pass the time... and he continued to wait. and well, what do you know, he waited just a teensy bit more... and some more and even some more of course. Oh, and he waited a bit, expectedly. Nothing happened. Trump swore he could flood Trump Tower with how much he drank, yet there was nothing. So that was one possible option unsuccessfully down, what was next?

Oh my god of course, THE PEE PILLS! Trump had gotten a bottle of urine-inducing pills years ago, from a completely non-suspicious friendly pharmacy in the streets of Chicago. What these drugs would do, was force your bladder to feel like it was going to explode, forcing the pee to slide right out of you. Trump rushed to his medicine cabinet. Shoveling through the cocaine and meth, until he finally found the pills, albeit with worn-down and rotten packaging. Ignoring that, and the expiration date of 7 years ago, Trump shoveled all of the pills down his moist throat hole. He was too caught up in the moment to remember that the process of digestion existed, and was worried why they weren't doing anything after 20 seconds. Trump was in a pee-pee-panic! He's gonna have to scrape the bottom of the smelly barrel just to find a way to suck his liquid waste out of him. "Pee's in your balls right?" thought Trump to himself. Trump then thought of a genius plan - cut open his compartment, and simply let the pee run out! I mean, that's pretty smart, right? Surprisingly, a worn-down pair of plastic children's scissors were able to cut straight through his unwashed butthair forest and... can pee be red and thick...? Well, after 2 hours of excruciating self-care, and sharpened teeth from grinding so hard... Trump gave up. He could not think of anything else to get his bladder to burst. He had to finally announce to the public the truth, that pee gummies were gone, and they will simply never come back.

Trump stood at the podium. It was 2:07 PM on a warm, sunny afternoon. Trump promised "Trump's Pavement Licking Adventure" tickets for 0.00023% off to get the most people to come to his speech. Trump had sighed. "There is something important that I have to announce to you all today... It may not be the prettiest thing, but it would be a disservice to the United States to not admit it..." Donald was about to reveal the shocking news when suddenly.... wait a second.... Trump's balls started to rumble. The feeling of peeing after of holding it for 4 hours hit him like a train. Trump, startled, yelped "I think my Mexican burrito is going to explode!" and then.... BWWWWWWOOOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Trump's wiener absolutely burst, unleashing waves of urine on the crowd. They were freaking out - most of them tried to catch it all in their mouths, they bathed in it, or tried to catch it in bottles or cups. Trump sighed and unleashed another ocean of pee, and then another, and even another. People were swimming through all of the pee, and aside from intense pain, Trump remembered the pills, and was glad that he could do a basic human function once again. Along with scheduling more pee-bathing festivals for his fans, Trump was able to produce those amazing gummies with zero issue, once more. He never gave that explanation for why the gummies were gone in the first place, but nobody cared - it's time to eat some pee!

## **U.S.A.S.S**

One night, Trump sat alone, pondering the wild wonders of outer space. It's so big... the amount of border walls that could be built is crazy. Then Trump had hypothesized "Would the U.S become even better if it enters space?" The answer to that question was no, but Trump was too caught up in the idea to think logically. It may have been four minutes until midnight, but time has never stopped Trump before. He hopped out of bed, and came to his team to tell them about the great new idea he just came up with. "What if we sent the United States... into outer space?" the peculiar president exclaimed. His team simply looked at him in confusion. They didn't think Trump could come up with an idea *that* stupid. "What?" Trump said, "Isn't it just obvious? If we send the United States into the space, we won't have to worry those other countries trying to mess with us!" The team was dumbfounded. It's not like any of them are smart, but none of them could possibly ever stoop *this* low. They just stood there, staring at Trump for a solid 10 minutes. Finally, the silence was broken when Trump pointed at the window whilst shouting "LOOK!" The team turned towards the window, only to be greeted by nothing but the outside world. When they turned to look back at Trump, he was running down the hallway, panting heavily.

Fast forward to later that night, Trump was sipping some tea, whilst sitting in his 'night-chair'. He had the TV turned off to stay submerged in the pure, unbridled silence. He was completely alone with his thoughts. sipping some Vanilla Candy-Cane Coffee. He was thinking about intergalactic smelly frog-horses riding dark orange thunderclouds through the bloody-nose caverns of Jupiter's 15th moon. But then he remembered his plan to send the U.S to space. Trump was puzzled as to why nobody had faith in his amazing idea. It'd be cheap and easy... just get all the money from robbing banks! It isn't like he hadn't done it before? Trump was really committed to the idea. He even thought about sending the U.S to another planets so it could, quote, "manifest destiny in peace." Trump thought of the possible downsides (people disagreeing, the ballsackians, blah blah), but he figured that the U.S.A was simply "too awesome to face any threats." So forget the deniers, Trump was going to make this happen, and he wasn't going to let anyone get in his way. But I want you, reader, to stop and think about something for a second. If you wanted to get an entire country up into space, how could it be done? I don't know what you may have been thinking, but Trump's idea was to build a giant spaceship around the country, which would then blast off into space. The idea sounds simple on paper, but making happen would be more difficult than Trump had anticipated...

It was next morning. Do you think Trump snores whenever he sleeps? Whatever about that, it was a new day, meaning in was the chance to kick off his new plan. He had already set up a speech at the Gym parking lot, across from Thrumble's Coffee-Shop. It was at this speech, that Donald planned to reveal his all-new idea - he didn't have a name for it yet, but then he had a great idea - U.S.A.S.S! The United States of America Space Station! He was so proud of himself. He figure that acronym was the most acronymy of all acronyms ever conceived on American soil. TBC.

## **Trump Vs. Hillary**

Ah, remember 2016? Me neither. But that fabled year was the start of such a legendary battle. The battle of the the century—Donald Trump Vs. Hillary Clinton. Two elder gods clash with each other destroying galaxies in the process?? That's not even comparable to this. Donald and Hillary's great battle started when people had to decide who should be president of the U.S.A. I mean, there was more than just Trump and Hillary, but can you name ALL the other candidates? But I digress—both Rump and Clillary had greatly advocated for their nominations; whether it was Pokémon going to the polls or building that gosh-darned wall. But do you think those 80-hour debates was all of it? Yeah right, there was much much more.

Check out the Trump Vs. Hillary Saga for more information. You won't regret it.

## **Feathery Shenanigans**

One of Trump's most famous qualities is his epic tweets that he used to churn out before his account was banned for hate speech against Schlonkbobby's grandma. I have generously archived some of these tweets just for your viewing pleasure:

## **Affiliation with other countries**

Trump simply adores China. He makes sure that he mentions or alludes to it at every speech, whether it's saying it by name, or sneakily creating a big metaphor for his love of China. Under all of Trump's suits are "I Love China" T-shirts. In fact, go to Trump's secret house inside of a cloud, and you'll find mini collectible figures of various Chinese leaders. He also has a China bed sheet, a China toothbrush, and a China pillowcase. Trump's bucket list contains "Get laid on Chinese land" and "Purchase China" among other important life goals. Unfortunately, because Trump is unfortunately no longer president, the latter may, unfortunately, never happen. Some have proposed the theory that Trump was actually born in China, which explains why he's so infatuated with it. I can actually debunk this rumor on my own - No, Trump was not born in China, though he wishes he was. Trump also loves Russia. He pretends to be disgusted and absolutely repulsed by Russians when in public, but in secret he always shows his admiration through weird hair-shaving rituals. Then again, in Russia, the ritual shaves you. Hey, who said that affiliations had to be positive? Trump is heavily affiliated with Mexico, but in a negative way. He really doesn't like that place, but at this point, it needs no explanation.

## Notes & Trivia

* In 2017, an exclusive Trump-themed coin was minted and released at the April Donald Trump convention to all attendees that had more than 3 testicles. Only 2 Coins were given out so they are hard to find now, and sell upwards of $10,000,000,000 a piece.
* The Donald Trump burger was so unbelievably unhealthy that it killed over 24,039 people across the world. Each and every burger actually had a miniature contract stored inside the bun, which read "*By not signing this contract, Donald J. Trump and his associates will not be held responsible for any deaths related to this product.*" So, Trump faced no legal trouble for any of these deaths. Hey, it's their fault, they didn't sign it!
* Donald Trump's real name is Donald Jinglebells Trump. A little fun fact. Not too well known. I don't think you've ever heard of it.
* Trump enjoys falling asleep to many things, but he most enjoys the crackling sound of a vacuum cleaner.
* Please do not associate Trump with Bingle Dang, the clown from Cambodia. They have a fierce past together, and honestly, neither of them are willing to bring it up.
* According to Trump, the amount of money someone makes is more important than how they are as a person.
* Donald Trump is secretly in love with Hillary Clinton, but he has to keep it private whenever he's in public. Oh, what he'd do to get a hold of her quintuple chin.
* Trump was about to be killed by a rogue group of Indonesian Ballsacks Lickers, before he wasn’t.
* Preheat oven to 400°. In a small saucepan, prepare rice according to package instructions. In a large skillet over medium heat, heat oil. Cook onion until soft, about 5 minutes. Stir in tomato paste and garlic and cook until fragrant, about 1 minute more. Add ground beef and cook, breaking up meat with a wooden spoon, until no longer pink, 6 minutes. Drain fat.Return beef mixture to skillet, then stir in cooked rice and diced tomatoes. Season with oregano, salt, and pepper. Let simmer until liquid has reduced slightly, about 5 minutes. Place peppers cut side-up in a 9"-x-13" baking dish and drizzle with oil. Spoon beef mixture into each pepper and top with Monterey jack, then cover baking dish with foil. Bake until peppers are tender, about 35 minutes. Uncover and bake until cheese is bubbly, 10 minutes more. Garnish with parsley before serving.