Josifer

### CELEBWATCH: JOSIFER

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**CELEBWATCH: IS JOSIFER BACK?**

-StarTribFeed – updated 20:18 February 22 2076

With Special Correspondent: The Nu Vu

Well, well, well, my darlings, darlettes and darlixes, once again the poor, benighted creatures at the StarTrib (in what very well might be a transparent ploy to add the Vu’s P2 numbers to their own) have called upon your humble narrator and embodiment of all that sparkles and shines to cover the Evo-4M Winter Gala in the way that only the Vu can, and you can see our delightful take on all the corporate and media Wanna-be’s, Has-beens, Never-was’ and even the occasional bit of Midwest Royalty over at the main article (which will likely be linked [HERE] by the StarTrib’s editing algorithm or if you want the unfiltered version, check out my blog, which the algo probably won’t link [Here]).

This little chatette is, however, about one, or rather two, surprise appearances at the event of the Evo corporate year. That’s right, just when you thought it was safe to buy synthetic diamonds and gold lame (yes, the Vu knows its ‘*Lamé*’, but not the way Jenny B. wears it), the darlings of the dance, Evo power couple and chronic conspicuous consumers, Joseph and Jennifer B., the duo known as ‘Josifer’ have made their first appearance in months on the EmEssPlex social scene to once again generate hate-views and put the ‘so-what’ back into ‘so-cial scene’. The very picture of loyal, squeaky-clean Evo execs and doing the job of showing the corporate flag almost as well as an electronic mannikin, they have been absent from the scene for several months since they moved back out to the family farm in, where was it again? Oh, yes, Fargo (bringing a whole new meaning the phrase ‘get in the Zone’, eh?).

To be fair, the family ‘farm’ is a city of half-a-million in the middle of a border region. Our boy Joseph III’s granddaddy was a big enough deal in rebuilding the town after the Awakening, that they just called him the ‘Old Man’. When the well-named Old Man passed away at a 119 years young last summer, it brought the whole family together in the spirit of not having anything to do with the grubby mess. Well, that is until everything blew up in their faces last solstice and Ares became in serious danger of snapping up granddaddy’s inheritance. Suddenly and shockingly, all the grandkids, not just Josifer, but also cousin Teddy from Denver and cousins Dick and Karen all the way from L.A., these descendants descended on Fargo from the four corners to get what they think is theirs. Family huh? It really does bring people together… over millions of nuyen of assets, anyway.

But speaking of family, its not just Mommy and Daddy making the scene tonight, this really is a family affair and it wouldn’t be a Josifer circus without their third ring. While careful not to do anything so gauche as actually attend the event she’s covering, their daughter Julie, known to her millions of P2 followers and the press at large as ‘J-Bug’ will be going to and from a number of side- and after- parties broadcasting live. Fortunately my own duties to bounce from this event to side- and after- parties broadcasting live will keep *moi* from being able to be assaulted by J-Bug’s nasal squeal and random ‘*Nyob Zoo*!’ interjections and will certainly keep this self I call me from being able to get into unending flame wars with her mostly teen and pre-teen followers. Born rich, proudly spoiled and entitled and professionally annoying, if by some kind miracle you don’t already know her, she is absolutely the epitome of the sort of famous-for-being-famous-for-trying-to-be-famous online celeb that has re-emerged since the wireless Matrix has brought back all the old patterns of the pre-Crash Internet.

**Return to: The Old Man**