Bad Luck 101/Quotes

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Quotes

*(Anti-Fairy Council)*
**Anti-Fairy Council #1:** Anti-Cosmo, you have been summoned here for some bad news.
**Anti-Cosmo:** Ooo! I just love to hear bad news, especially for our most wonderful time of the year, *(fire in background)* Friday the 13th!!! *(fire fades away)*
**Foop:** Indeed, Father. After all, Friday the 13th is our Christmas and it comes out more than once a year.
**Anti-Fairy Council #2:** He was referring bad news to you, Anti-Cosmo.
*(Anti-Cosmo spits his drink on Anti-Wanda's face)*
**Anti-Wanda:** *(screams)* Hot sauce flavored fruit punch stings my eyes!
**Anti-Cosmo:** What do you mean bad news for me?
**Anti-Fairy Council #3:** Your pathetic attempts to spread bad luck all over the Earth has been getting soft lately, and we figure it's time to let you go.
**Anti-Cosmo:** I don't see what the big deal is. There's always next Friday the 13th. I just need more creative ideas.
**Anti-Fairy Council #2:** Anti-Cosmo, you couldn't be any more wrong.
*(All three members raise their hands with a glow on it, taking away Anti-Cosmo's wand)*
**Anti-Cosmo:** What?! No! You can't do this to me.
**Foop:** Yes. Without my father in control, I can't get an unlimited free pass to the Anti-Fairy Pool Party. No one will ever suspect me doing "warm stuff" in the pool.
**Anti-Fairy Council #1:** It's high time we have some elite help spreading misery on the Earth. Meet your replacement, Anti-Neptunia!
*(Thunder and lightning)*
**Anti-Cosmo:** Anti-Neptunia? My first love interest before my dim-witted wife?
**Anti-Neptunia:** Take out the trash, hon.
**Anti-Astronov:** Trash? Where? It better be rotten-apple flavored.
**Anti-Neptunia:** *(sigh; ties up Anti-Cosmo and his family herself with the screen fading to black)*

**Anti-Neptunia:** Sorry, Anti-Cosmo, but it's for your own good. With me in charge, things are going to change around here. Buildings will collapse, the humans will be slaves to us, and I'll finally get the exact eyeliner my stupid counterpart has.
**Foop:** But your magic, why not just do it now?
**Anti-Neptunia:** You want me to pull up my scary face at you?
**Foop:** Oh, please. I'm an Anti-Fairy. Nothing scares me.
*(Anti-Neptunia's shadow seen pulling up her scary face at Foop; Foop screams like a girl until his skin turned white)*
**Anti-Neptunia:** Ha! And you said that nothing scares you. Look, Foop, I like you, but you're the worst Anti-Fairy out there, and I'm not saying it in a good way. I mean, you're AWFUL at your job! Not to mention, your parents don't even get a chance to spend time with you. If I ever have kids, they would be better behaved than you. And another thing, you actually don't bother to destroy Poof anymore. *WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!*
**Foop:** I dunno. I'm actually pretty cool with Poof for now, apart from the fact that he's friends with Sammy Sweetsparkle.
**Anti-Neptunia:** (sighs) I understand. Now, I'm off to spread pure bad mojo to Earth.
**Anti-Cosmo:** Well, there is one problem. Jorgen Von Strangle has taken our ability to be invisible on Earth. So, there's no chance for you to get away with this scot free.
**Anti-Astronov:** Well, that's just gosh-durn unfair.
**Anti-Wanda:** Oh, just listening to him talk always gives me the goosey bumps.
**Anti-Neptunia:** If there are no more further interruptions, I have a date with destruction, and for my amusement, you won't be around to see it.
**Anti-Cosmo:** But I like seeing things get destroyed.
**Anti-Neptunia:** *(hypnotizing Anti-Cosmo)* But you will, in your dreams. All you have to do, is feel verrry sleeeepyyy.
*(Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda and Foop fall asleep after looking at Anti-Neptunia's trance)*
**Foop:** *(snoring while talking)* Pain... Sorrow... Misery...
**Anti-Neptunia:** Wish me bad luck for all the Anti-Fairies in the universe. *(Poofs away)*
**Anti-Fairy Council #3:** She has hypnotic powers? Impossible. It takes thousands of years of practice and even we aren't well trained for it.
**Anti-Fairy Council #1:** I hate my job.
**Anti-Fairy Council #2:** We all do.

*(Dimmsdale Elementary)*
**Ivan:** Okay, another day of school. You ready, Timmy?
**Timmy:** Ready as ever... for more F's from Crocker.
**Cosmo:** Don't worry, I can change your grade to an A+!
**Wanda:** You know that's cheating, right?
**Cosmo:** Hey, whatever makes Timmy's parents happy.
**Ivan:** What's wrong, Timmy?
**Poof:** Today is Friday the 13th.
**Ivan:** And what's so special about this day?
**Wanda:** Well, on Friday the 13th the Anti-Fairies escape and cause havoc and lots of bad luck.
**Ivan:** Those Anti-Fairies sound like bad news.
**Cosmo:** Yeah, they're like regular fairies, only Anti, and Friday the 13th is their Christmas.
**Astronov:** Basically, the opposites of us. When there's a smart fairy, there's an opposite, stupid Anti-Fairy counterpart, like with me.
**Neptunia:** And since I'm the dumb and beautiful one, that means there must be a smarter, slightly less beautiful Anti-Fairy version of me.
**Ivan:** I see. So, you had any experiences with the Anti-Fairies, Timmy?
**Timmy:** Yeah, several, in fact. I accidentally wished to set them free once, which, incidentally, is how I first met Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda.

*(In the janitor's closet, Anti-Astronov and Anti-Neptunia poof up)*
**Anti-Neptunia:** Watch this. *(raises her wand, **PRETTY POPULAR DISGUISE**, Anti-Neptunia turned into Trixie Tang)*
**"Trixie":** I'm now disguised as Timmy's dream girl, Trixie Tang. Hon, tell me I'm pretty!
**Anti-Astronov:** You sure are pretty, Anti-Neptunia. But how is a disguise gonna cause bad luck?
**"Trixie":** You'll see. *(comes out of the janitor's closet, waves to Timmy)* Oh, Timmy! *(Anti-Astronov poofs away)*
**Timmy:** Huh? *(sees what appears to be Trixie waving at him)* Trixie! *(runs to her)*
**Ivan:** Timmy, where are you going?
**Timmy:** No time to explain. *(to Anti-Neptunia, who's disguised as Trixie)* Hi, Trixie, how are you doing today?
**"Trixie":** Absolutely fine, hon.
**Timmy:** Hon?
**"Trixie":** I'm just practicing my British accent. Do you like it, Timmy?
**Timmy:** I sure do!
**"Trixie":** I'm afraid your friend and your supplies are gonna have to stay in the hall.
**Timmy:** Why?
**"Trixie":** Because I say so. I'm the most popular girl in school, don't you know?
**Timmy:** I guess you're right. *(to Cosmo, Wanda and Poof)* Sorry, guys, you're gonna have to stay with Ivan.
**Poof:** I dunno, Timmy. Something about this doesn't seem right to me.
**Timmy:** I'll be fine. *(gives Cosmo, Wanda and Poof to Ivan)*
**"Trixie":** Perfect! (grabs Timmy by the hand and locks the door to the janitor's closet)

*(Janitor's closet)*
**Timmy:** You know, Trixie, this is a pretty awkward place to be with you. The janitor could be back any second now!
**"Trixie":** *(putting on makeup powder)* Nonsense. I think it's a great place. And besides, the janitor has a day off, so no one will see us. *(puts on pink lipstick)* Tell me I'm pretty with this lipstick!
**Timmy:** Gosh, you're pretty. Wait, Are you doing what I think you're doing?
**"Trixie":** Yep, gonna smother you with good luck kisses.
**Timmy:** Hmm, that's a bit unexpected.
**"Trixie":** *(grabs Timmy, leans to him)* Kiss me, you fool!
**Timmy:** Gladly.
*(Timmy and Anti-Neptunia as Trixie start kissing; outside, Astronov poofs up Anti-Fairy Goggles, and he sees through them, then hands them over to Wanda, where she sees in the janitor's closet that Timmy is being kissed by Anti-Neptunia, who is disguised as Trixie)*
**Wanda:** Oh, poor Sport. He's gonna have plenty of bad luck...
**Poof:** I knew it. Too good to be true.
**Ivan:** But we should wait for the right moment to tell him. Telling him about this right now is gonna be bad.
**Astronov:** Yeah, we'll just have to wait and see where this goes afterwards.
*(back to the janitor's closet, Timmy and Anti-Neptunia as Trixie finish kissing; Timmy is now covered in pink lipstick marks)*
**"Trixie":** Well, Timmy, now I'm sure you'll have plenty of good luck on your side.
**Timmy:** Thanks. I'll see you later, Trixie!
**"Trixie":** Later, Timmy!
*(Timmy gets out of the janitor's closet, Anti-Astronov poofs up and Anti-Neptunia turns back to normal)*
**Anti-Neptunia:** *(chuckles)* Sucker! Timmy won't know what hit him.

**Timmy:** (sigh) It's like I took a smooch shower together with Trixie.
**Cosmo:** Timmy, I don't think that was...
**Ivan, Wanda, Astronov and Neptunia:** SHUT UP, COSMO!
**Timmy:** What?
**Ivan:** Don't mind him, he's just delusional. Let's just get to Crocker's class.

*(in Crocker's class)*
**Crocker:** Okay, class, today you'll be doing a test on English that'll be 90% of your grade.
**Ivan:** This should be easy.
*(5 minutes later)*
**Timmy:** Okay, it's done.
**Crocker:** Hmmm...
**Timmy:** So, do I get an A+?
**Crocker:** In your dreams, Turner! All you're getting is an F!
**Timmy:** You gotta be kidding me.
**Crocker:** Oh, sorry. I forgot to give you a minus. You get an F-!
**Ivan:** What about me, Mr. Crocker?
**Crocker:** You also get an F!
**Ivan:** How predictable.

*(in the school hall)*
**Timmy:** Okay, maybe that one F grade was just a tiny case of bad luck. I'm sure nothing else can go wrong today...
**Ivan:** Uh, Timmy, you have to think again.
*(Francis shows up, beats up Timmy and gives him a wedgie, and then Ivan whispers at his fairies, they turned to bears and scare Francis off)*
**Timmy:** That's coincidence #2.
**Ivan:** More like strike 2.

*(back at the Turner's House, Timmy goes to the kitchen, but slips and accidentally spills salt off the table, and bumps into a mirror, which then breaks. Timmy screams)*
**Mrs. Turner:** What's wrong, Timmy?
**Timmy:** I spilled some salt on the floor and broke a mirror. By accident, of course.
**Mr. Turner:** We could care less about salt, but DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THAT MIRROR WAS?!
**Timmy:** I'm sorry, okay? And no need to yell at me.
**Mrs. Turner:** Just go to your room, okay?
**Timmy:** Okay. *(to Cosmo, Wanda and Poof, disguised as fish, while going upstairs)* I wish the mirror was fixed.
*(Timmy's fairies raise up their wands, **BAD LUCK HABIT AVERTED**; the mirror unbreaks)*
**Mr. Turner:** Hmmm, self-repairing mirrors. Nice!

**Ivan:** (goes into Timmy's room with his fairies) We've been waiting for the perfect moment to tell you this, and as you had 3 bad luck strikes, this seemed like a perfect opportunity.
**Timmy:** Tell me about what?
**Wanda:** You know, Timmy, Poof was right back in school, something about Trixie kissing you in the janitor's closet didn't seem right.
**Timmy:** Yeah, that seemed like the most unusual location for us to be kissing in private.
**Cosmo:** No, she meant something else is wrong.
**Timmy:** Like what, Cosmo?
**Cosmo:** Maybe Trixie's a boy crossdressing as a girl?
**Timmy:** No, it can't be!
**Wanda:** Zip it, Cosmo! He was just joking.
**Timmy:** I see. But I don't get it. Trixie gave me good luck kisses and all I got for the rest of the day was nothing but bad luck.
**Poof:** That's just it, Timmy, you weren't kissing Trixie!
**Timmy:** Excuse me?
**Wanda:** The girl that you kissed in school wasn't Trixie at all! It was an Anti-Fairy in disguise!
**Timmy:** Wait a minute, you're telling me that I've been kissing an Anti-Fairy disguised as Trixie the whole time?! So that explains why I've been struck with bad luck recently. Which Anti-Fairy was it?
**Neptunia:** It was a female Anti-Fairy, and it's not Anti-Wanda.
**Timmy:** Who was it?
**Astronov:** You'll find out very soon.

*(Outside)*
**Timmy:** So, what's the plan?
**Wanda:** We'll just have to lure the Anti-Fairies by causing a small amount of bad luck.
*(Wanda poofs up salt and spills it on Timmy's foot)*
**Wanda:** Oh, dear, I spilled my salt on my godchild's foot. I sure hope no Anti-Fairy comes in the nick of time before I clean my mess up.
*(Anti-Neptunia appears)*
**Anti-Neptunia:** You called?
**Timmy:** So, you're the Anti-Fairy Neptunia? I'll admit, you're nowhere near as hideous as I imagined you would be.
**Anti-Neptunia:** How flattering. Unfortunately, I don't have time for introductions. I've got places to go to, people to enslave.
**Anti-Astronov:** And food to eat.
**Ivan:** Anti-Astronov, I assume? Uh, what's up with the eye patch on your eye?
**Anti-Astronov:** Well, boy, I'm not very good with grammar, but if it wasn't for that dastardly brat Foop's antics, I wouldn't be wearing this.
**Anti-Neptunia:** Now, before you all have to say goodbye, say hello to some friends. Come to me, Anti-Fairies!
*(all the Anti-Fairies round up)*
**Astronov:** Oh, no. It's the Anti-Tooth Fairy.
**Anti-Tooth Fairy:** If you have loose teeth, you can keep that while I have your money.
**Ivan:** Something tells me she's allergic to make-up.
**Anti-Tooth Fairy:** True, child. True.
**Timmy:** And that must be the Anti-Cupid.
**Anti-Cupid:** When we're done with you, it's not going to look lovely.
**Anti-Neptunia:** Get them!
*(the Anti-Fairies attack)*
*(Wanda and the other fairies poof up a shield)*
**Wanda:** Shields up!
**Cosmo:** What do we do?
**Astronov:** There's too many Anti-Fairies. Even we can't poof them all away.
**Neptunia:** There has to be something to round them all up.
**Timmy:** There is one way. (whispers to Cosmo, Wanda and Poof as they looked shocked after being told) I know, but it's the only way.
*(Timmy's fairies raise their wands;**POOF**)*

*(The Crocker Cave)*
**Ivan:** Where are we? (looks around) Gadgets? Equipment? Scary electromagnetic technology? Ladies shoes? Why am I in a creepy underground hotel?
**Timmy:** It's not a hotel, Ivan. We're at the Crocker Cave. And we're going to have to "borrow" one of Mr. Crocker's stuff if we're going to take those Anti-Fairies away.
*(looks through Crocker's stuff)*
**Timmy:** This will come in handy.
**Fairies:** Aahh! (grab a hold of each other) A butterfly net!
**Ivan:** Let me guess, if it has wings and flies, a butterfly net can catch it, is that right?
**Timmy:** That's the plan. But this won't be enough. (gives the net to Ivan) You're going to have to wish up more bad luck to get the Anti-Fairies attention. They can't resist seeing bad luck and that will be the perfect opportunity to catch them and trap them inside.
**Ivan:** Do you think it's safe to sneak in here, especially with Mr. Crocker inside his own cave?
*(camera points to Crocker sleeping)*
**Timmy:** Something tells me he'll be fine. Now let's get out of here.
*(fairies raise their wands poofing them all back outside)*

*(outside)*
*(Anti-Fairies spreading bad luck everywhere across town until Cosmo and Poof was seen)*
**Cosmo:** Hey, Anti-twits. (singing) You can't catch us, you're gonna have to zap us!
*(the Anti-Fairies chase after Cosmo and Poof leading them to their trap; Wanda and Neptunia poof up bad luck distracting the Anti-Fairies; every Anti-Fairy each gets sucked into the net)*
**Anti-Tooth Fairy:** There better not be make-up in there! (gets sucked inside)
**Anti-Cupid:** I'm not loving this moment, and that's saying something! (gets sucked inside)
**Poof:** We did it!
**Astronov:** Might as well stick a fork in them. They're done.
**Neptunia:** That was a bit off, don't you think, sweetie?
*(Anti-Neptunia slowly claps)*
**Anti-Neptunia:** Nicely done. Bravo.
**Timmy:** We'll be sarcastically laughing once you're inside here too along with your friends and your husband.
**Anti-Astronov:** By dingy, it smells like shrimp puffs in here!
**Anti-Neptunia:** Yeah, I think not. (pulls up her wand and locked the net into an anti-magic bubble) The only one spreading misery around here is me!
**Neptunia:** We'll stop you!
**Anti-Neptunia:** I like to see you try. By the way, Timmy Turner, how'd you like those "good luck kisses"?
**Timmy:** So you're the one who was disguised as Trixie Tang!
**Anti-Neptunia:** That's right.
**Timmy:** And to answer your question, I probably would've liked them... if they didn't give me bad luck!
**Anti-Neptunia:** Once I'm through with you, I'll be the one looking most beautiful.
**Neptunia:** Woah.
**Anti-Neptunia:** Frightened about the idea, I see?
**Neptunia:** No, can't believe you want to look beautiful.
**Anti-Neptunia:** Now that just plain hurts.
**Astronov:** Not as much as this!
*(Astronov blasts a magic ray at Anti-Neptunia but she reflects it)*
**Anti-Neptunia:** Oh, I'm just getting warmed up. (poofs up a circle of fire around her so the others won't get near her)
**Ivan:** Are you afraid to fight us yourself, you cowardly snake?
**Anti-Neptunia:** (flies above the fire) A snake, am I? Perhaps you'd like to see how sssssssnake like I can be!
*(Anti-Neptunia turns into a giant snake)*
**Poof:** She's turning into a giant snake!
**Cosmo:** Those two words would go great along a theme song.
**Timmy:** I wish...
*(Timmy and Ivan gets trapped by snake Anti-Neptunia's coils)*
**Anti-Neptunia:** Your wishing days are numbered, well, as soon as you and every other godchild belongs to us. (hypnotize Timmy and Ivan) Trust in me.
**Wanda:** (heard) Hey, you big reptile, (seen behind mirrors) trust in this!
*(Anti-Neptunia sees her reflection while she her eyes was still in hypnosis mode and accidentally hypnotized herself; she slowly turns back to normal and lays on her back while in her own trance)*
**Wanda:** You will now enter the butterfly net.
**Anti-Neptunia:** I will now enter the butterfly net.
**Astronov:** You will turn everything in town back to normal.
**Anti-Neptunia:** I will turn everything in town back to normal. (raises her wand and turns Dimmsdale back to normal)
**Cosmo:** Ooh, also, you will repeatedly swing your arms saying, "I'm a loopy nut-job".
**Anti-Neptunia:** (swings her arms) I'm a loopy nut-job.
*(Ivan opens up the butterfly net and Anti-Neptunia enters inside)*
**Neptunia:** Well, that takes care of that.
**Ivan:** The Anti-Fairies are done for, and Timmy doesn't have bad luck anymore.
*(Timmy and Ivan look and see Francis looking for Timmy)*
**Timmy:** Almost. Hide?
**Ivan:** Hide.
*(the fairies raise their wands and poof away)*

*(Anti-Fairy World)*
**Anti-Fairy Council #2:** Well, turns out Anti-Neptunia is just as relentless as the rest of you.
**Anti-Fairy Council #1:** That means you get to have your rightful place back, Anti-Cosmo.
*(Anti-Cosmo gets his wand back)*
**Anti-Cosmo:** Oh, how I've missed the power. Daddy's back again! And more evil than ever.
**Anti-Wanda:** So, what are we going to do with her?
**Anti-Astronov:** Now say it with a lamp shed on your head while spinning on your bottom.
**Anti-Neptunia:** I'm a loopy nut-job. I'm a loopy nut-job. I'm a...
**Foop:** She'll be alright.
*(screen fades to black)*
*(Mr. and Mrs. Turner pops up)*
**Mrs. Turner:** Another one of my mirrors have been broken! If this keep up any longer, our son will be punished for no reason!
**Mr. Turner:** (breaks the fourth-wall) Timmy, if you're watching this ending scene, you'd better run, run I tell you!
*(Title Card ending)*