Black

—**Scoutt the Cawzniak**

**Zpiaguekhmet Biack**, transliterated as **Spiagookmet Biack**, also known as **Splague-met Black**, or just **Black**, was the king of the Plague Vold and dis-honorary Legendary Butcher. He is a worker for the Milky Way Eldritch Council and was in charge of keeping Sryldians happy to keep the abominations happy.

Black was a guy who went to Earth every few decades for his one vacation day that his boss lets him have. On Earth, he would have epic country-wide parties that showcased his and his cronies' awesome plague powers. He always did harmless pranks and exerted his general awesomeness.

Things would be fine for a while until that pesky, destructive day had to ruin his flawless reputation. Almost every time he went to Earth for his vacation, something bad would happen and leave a permanent stain on his record.

Those bad things would keep on piling up and piling up until he was demoted to Middle Manager, only having a vacation every several decades and only on unclaimed planets.

## Conjure King

Black was the first child born in Plague Vold, so the people of Plague Vold would king him because they thought that he was a gift from the Eldritch Council. He was, but really, his purpose was to keep the members of the Eldritch Council happy.

As he was being born, he was visited by his future boss in a vision. She told him that his purpose was to keep his people happy so she could have happy dreams. She also told him the drastic consequences of failing to make the people happy: deaths to the number of cosmic proportions. Black never remembered this because he was an infant. She isn't the most intelligent horror out there.

### The Child King

The people of Plague Vold knew he was a special kid, so they let Black do anything he wanted. He made all the rules, he made all the people do the stuff, he made all the candies, but most of all, he's a part of the prevention of big death. He did stuff so his people could be happy all the time, so the people of Plague Vold advanced rapidly in the ways of entertainment. They learned the ways of practical plague magic and circus from Black because he carried that information.

He taught the people plague magic the best he could, but only a few guys could really do it, so they became his cronies or took the well-paid job of entertainer. More people were able to be taught in circus stuff, so the amount of happy was approaching the quota. The best carnies were able to become Black's cronies.

## Visits to Earth

Black's boss had a good dream for the last 100 years, so she gave him the means of travelling to the main dimension. He first travelled to planet Earth because it was closest in terms of the universal x, y, z, t coordinates. He travelled to Earth with his cronies in the 1300s to explore whatever is there. They found a bear, one day, who mauled one of the cronies to death, a platypus, another day, who killed another crony with its venom, and a human, the last day, that did not maul or venomize a crony.

Before anything else could happen, they were taken back to Plague Vold because they had a time limit. Black came to the conclusion that humans are peaceful animals that could be entertained with plague magic and circustry. He got that idea because he knew that there were limits to how much the people on Plague Vold could be happy with entertainment.

### The First Carnival

Black got the power to travel dimensions back, 43 years after the first time he used it, so he gathered his cronies with the goal to entertain humans.

He and his cronies displayed their masterful plague powers of entertainment at the first Black and the Plaguemasters event, which took place in Europe. He told everyone that he'll be there for only three days and then he'll be gone for a really long time, so a whole bunch of people went to see.

Black and the Plaguemasters used their plague powers to create a whole house with the first functional toilet in human history. They made a living thing out of plague stuff that did cool stuff like front flips and planting a garden. Everyone loved the stuff, generating more happy points.

## Promotion

Black's boss had great dreams for the last hundred years. She was so impressed that he was able to find another species that could generate happy that she gave him an upgrade to his trans-dimensional power, increasing the time limit he has to five days, from three days.

Black's boss gets her sleep interrupted by the Minor Eldritch Council, informing her that she needs some lower species to become the manager of a planet of intelligent creatures. So, one day, Black gets interrupted by his boss, and she informs him that he is being promoted to Foreman of planet Sryld and that he has no limits on going to that planet. This would be permanent unless something happens.

### Sryldian Entertainment

On Sryld, the people have higher standards of entertainment: baseball. The Sryldians really like their baseball. It's virtually their only bit of entertainment that they do, so when Black started to entertain the Sryldians, who were devoid of other entertainment options, the amount of happy produced was huge. It was so much that his boss slept for 200 years.

## Home Improvement

A 200-year break was what Black needed. He finally noticed that the people of Plague Vold were becoming less happy. He needed new ways to entertain his people, so he embarked on the 200-year project to create film. It took so long because he didn't know what he was doing.

He started with the idea that a whole lot of pictures showing a sequence could look like motion. So first, he invested in drawing paper and drawing pencils so people could make the first Vold film. It would take forever for it to be good enough to show to anyone because no one knew what good drawings looked like, so Black made that project independent and moved on to a different idea.

He then decided to try to invest in a thing that could draw pictures of an area automatically. He needed a way for, for example: a house, to somehow be printed onto a piece of paper. He got the idea that the thing must absorb the light particles that the thing is looking at and transfer them to a piece of paper. He and his cronies created a camera thingy that uses plague power to absorb the light that it looked at, and with the flip of a switch the thing would absorb the light in front of it and transfer it to a piece of paper. Voila, plague-powered camera that took 200 years to develop.

## Things Go Wrong

On his vacation on Earth, Black is entertaining some people and then he sneezes for the first time in his life. That sneeze happened in 1788 and made a whole bunch of people so sick and die, that they called it the Black Plague of 1788. Black wouldn't know that happened until his boss informed him that she fed on peoples' suffering during her sleep, which is something the abominations are trying to avoid, so she warns him to not let it happen again.

George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Napoleon Bonapart voted to make him a dis-honorary Legendary Butcher because he's the reason a bunch of people got deadified.

* In 1831, some plague accidentally dissolves some peoples' houses and a puppy.
* In 1874, a statue of George Washington gets eaten up by some plague.
* In 1917, highest number of casualties during World War I happens.

Black's boss tells him about all of those things that happened on Earth, so she tells him to not go on vacation there so nothing bad happens. He does this, which makes him sad.

### Way Worse

Black hasn't gone to Earth for over a hundred years, so he thinks that his "unluck" has finally wore off. This event will be big because he spent 716 years conjuring the ultimate party man, Fringy! He releases Fringy on Earth and Fringy starts to destroy everything. He kills a bunch of people and destroys important monuments.

Because of that, his boss feeds on the suffering of people, making her mad that this is the fifth time that happened. She reports to the Minor Eldritch Council and Black is demoted from Foreman to Middle Manager of Sryld, meaning that he can't travel back to Plague Vold, he is stuck on planet Sryld, and his vacations happen every 172 years instead of every 43rd, and he could only visit unclaimed planets.

## The Sryld Entertainer

Black is the only entertainer on Sryld, and he'll probably never see another plague doctor in a really long time. Good thing he's a hard worker because he's barely achieving the happy quota, which surprises his boss and the Council.

He then gets the idea to train the Sryldians to become his entertainment cronies. It takes a long time for them to become really entertaining because they only know baseball, but Black gives them the idea invent and play new sports, like handball or whatever gymnastics is. It took a while, but he barely has to put in any effort in generating happy because the Sryldians are generating happy by themselves.

He even got repromoted to Foreman, but he's banned from going to Earth.

## To the End

Black tried to bargain that only bad things happen on Earth because he used his plague powers, so they should unban him from Earth because he can just not use his plague powers. The Minor Eldritch Council said no.

Black now just works forever for the Eldritch abominations of the Council for the rest of time, making people happy.