Wererats and Warehouses

Weerats and Warehouses is the title of the nineteenth episode episode of Jarren's Outpost Hustle, a D&D Is For Nerds Adventure.  It features Adam Carnevale as the Dungeon Master.  The episode was released on 2nd September, 2017.  The introductory soundbite is "Sanspants radio: last night I had a really weird dream where it was, like, set in the 80s, we were kinda like, Stranger Things but not, we were uncovering this whole, like, plot about this, like, children's entertainment kinda show thing, where, like, there was some seedy shit going on and the way it came out was because one of the main hosts was getting buttfucked by this other dude and at the moment of orgasm the guy doing the buttfucking had a gun, but it had a knife attached to the end of it, and he put it up against the the guy's chest, shot it, he dropped it, it slipped and it cut the guy's penis off and for the rest of that dream it was very severed-penis heavy, and I don't know what that means." spoken by Joel Zammit. The previous episode is Run, Grapple, Jump and the following one is It's Just Good (Halfling) Business.

## Events

1. Greg tries to get into a man-hole, but breaks his rapier. He blinks through instead.
2. Periwinkle finds the way into the Surefoot warehouse, and Leo catches up.
3. Greg tries to make his way to the Blood Cult lair, but is interrupted by Shane the Wererat.
4. Periwinkle rips off the door to the Surefoot warehouse, triggering a trap. He calls out into the building, but there is no response.
5. Greg drinks a health potion, smashes it, then uses it as a weapon. He cuts Shane significantly.
6. Periwinkle and Leo split up. They realise the warehouse has been rigged with lots of traps.
7. Greg and Shane reach a stalemate in their fight, both unable to cause each other any damage.
8. Periwinkle and Leo try, with varying degrees of success, to avoid traps.
9. Greg casts confusion on Shane, and can sense it getting weaker from blood loss.
10. In the dark of the warehouse, Leo and Periwinkle both spot a source of light to move towards. Leo casts light.
11. Greg rolls Shane into the water of the sewer and tries to drown it. It bites him, and slashes at his face. Greg tries to hold it under the water.

## Players & Their Characters

* Jackson Baly as Greg Piss
* Joel Zammit as Leo Shadow
* Handsome Tom as Periwinkle O'Rourke

## Locations

* Jarren's Outpost
* Gnomish district
* Sewers
* Surefoot Warehouse

## Plot

Greg Piss looks for a man-hole, and when he finds it he can't open it. He tries to use his rapier to open it but it breaks. He blinks through after failing to open it. Periwinkle goes back the other way around the warehouse, passing a bloody-armed Leo. He finds the only way in is through a large pair of wooden doors with a chain and locks. Leo, gingerly, catches up, mob close in tow. Periwinkle tries to rip the chain off - he fails, but does break the door off its hinges.

Greg Piss is after his soul. He tries to make his way back to the Blood Cult lair, thinking he had escaped the chaos of the riot in the gnomish district. Suddenly, he hears metal tear, something landing in the water. Shane calls out to scare him, and runs towards him.

Leo and Periwinkle try to peek through the door, but it's dark, and as they push it open a bucket of alchemist's fire lands on them. Leo ducks, dives, and rolls out of the way, but Periwinkle is hurt. The fire illuminates the warehouse and the two see it filled with boxes. Periwinkle yells a taunt to the Surefoots inside. No-one responds so they creep in.

Greg Piss drinks a health potion and smashes it, to hold it like a weapon. Shane the Wererat attacks, landing on Greg. He sinks his teeth into Greg's shoulder. As it tries to claw at Greg, Greg cuts through the Wererat's chest with the broken bottle, up to its neck. Greg feels the air leaves its lungs.

Periwinkle asks Leo if he wants to split up, and this time he agrees. In the maze of boxes, Periwinkle realises he's tripped a wire. A giant trunk swings across and bashes him, he passes the fact of traps on to Leo. Leo finds a trip wire and steps over it. In the distance, they both hear the mob.

Greg slashes at Shane with the bottle, but can't get at him. Neither can Shane - they are like boxers hugging each other.

Periwinkle spots another trap, announcing it to Leo. Leo sees a light up ahead - as he moves cautiously towards it, he accidentally triggers a trap. An arrow fires from the light, but Leo ducks and dodges it.

Greg casts confusion upon Shane. He knows the spell has affected it, but it continues to attack him. Its swinging claws are appearing weaker and weaker, likely as a result of the profuse bleeding.

Periwinkle keeps moving. He sees an open crate, thinks he sees a baby crying. There's a stroller facing away from him. He goes around it to look inside, but inside there is a wooden doll baby. The doll head turns to look at him and the thing leaps at him, then explodes. Leo sees a training dummy, and thinks it moves as he looks away. He decides to keep going. By now, the sun is set, and the warehouse is pitch dark. The two spot a light somewhere in the warehouse. Leo casts light.

Greg attempts to roll Shane into the water. He pushes it under, and it sinks its teeth into Greg from underneath. An arm comes up to scratch Greg's face.

Periwinkle sees two open containers, one seems to have running water, but after the incident with the baby, he decides to ignore it. Leo comes to a door in a disconnected wall, and as he opens it, he's socked in the face with magical energy.

Greg tries to keep the Wererat's head underwater.

*Will the Wererat Shane drown? Find out next time...*

## Quotes

* "My plan-hole is to find a manhole." - Jackson
* "The Surefoot family assures everyone they do business with that their goldenware comes from sustainably sourced leprechauns." - Adam
* "Tonight, Greg Piss clears his debts." - Jackson
* "Happier times, when we were hiding behind boxes, looking at orcs." - Handsome Tom
* "If you hear a baby, it's not a baby." - Periwinkle
* "Drown the rat! Drown the rat!" - Jackson

## Trivia

* "Little pig, little pig," is a line from the Three Little Pigs, a children's nursery rhyme. Shane is a rat, not a wolf.
* "Fee fi fo fum (without 'I smell the blood of ginger scum')" is a line from Jack and the Beanstalk, another children's nursery rhyme.
* Joel mentions an attempt in a previous game (Punch Brothers Overture) to become a Wererat, in which Joel Duscher became one but Joel Zammit was unsuccessful.