Your Guide to the End Of the World

"*What is that noise? Oh! Uh oh! Oh, it's the nukes! Ok, it turns out it's the nukes after all.*"
―Erik
Your Guide to the End Of the World is the 75th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on September 23, 2017.

## Summary

Erik is glad that there are no immediate threats to the world, but then he remembers North Korea.

Erik decides to look at some other possible ways the world could end. First he watches a simulation of what an asteroid impact would look like. Then he watches a video about antibiotic-resistant superbugs. He tries to tell a commenter to cease your investigations but he accidentally posts it as a comment. Then he watches a video about a viral pandemic and shows how to leave a comment when you're dying from the super-flu.

Next he looks at the problems that could be caused by a declining birthrate. He watches an Alex Jones video about birthrate, but it's not the Alex Jones you're thinking about. Then he watches a video from that Alex Jones. Jones tries to trick you into thinking the Shadow Masters are making you infertile, and then he sells supplements to reverse the process. In the comments Erik finds the exact same comment that he had just posted in the previous video. Finally, Erik watches a poorly designed news online news program about CERN's Large Hadron Collider.

After looking at the doomsday scenarios, Erik starts a new segment called Bug Out Bag Tips From Erik. He shows off his own bugout bag, which has "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" on it so people will mistake him for Danny DeVito. Inside of it is a survival kit, which he can use to sell to buy booze for the apocalypse. He also has seeds that he can sell. Other items include his gas mask, his LifeStraw that doesn't work on wine, and an inflatable wife. Unfortunately, his wife is the Jeepers Creepers version so he has to return it. Finally, he has some bourbon that will last him about a day.

Going back to the apocalypse, Erik looks up a doomsday prediction that Nibiru will reveal itself and destroy the world in September 23, 2017. As Erik's posting the lesson on that exact date, he decides that it probably isn't going to happen. Then suddenly air raid sirens go off and Erik leaves one last tweet for Ted Cruz before the nukes go off.

## Comment

*Heyo send those nukes!*
- Erik

*Hey you guys ever think that if an asteroid was headed our way, the government would keep it quiet to prevent mayhem in the streets? I mean me personally, if I knew the world was about to turn into a lava ball I'd dress up like an adult baby and go burning down libraries while making boom booms in my diaper. Man I'd probably even kiss a dog to see why people on deviantart like drawing that shit so much. If there's an asteroid about to hit and I'm president, I'd be like "Nope lie to everybody, let them figure it out, now I'm gonna go fuck everything in Thailand" then I'd ghost on the human race while paying ladyboys to turn me into a human pinata. All I gotta say is thank god we're not about to get hit by an asteroid because my wife and kids don't need to see me like that. Then again I could probably do most of that shit anyway and get away with it because I'm a white dude*
- Erik

*and they murdered over a hundred microbiologists...so they can get away with this...more easily...*
- Goss Grayson

*GOSS. GOSS GRAYSON. WE KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING RIGHT NOW. CEASE YOUR INVESTIGATIONS AND DELETE THAT COMMENT ABOUT OUR MICROBIOLOGIST PURGES AND WE MIGHT PUT YOU ON THE WHITELIST FOR THE VIRUS SATELLITE WE HAVE POINTED AT YOUR CITY AHHHHHH*
- Erik

*We should see what would happen if we got every man on earth to shoot a load onto the same spot. I wonder what would form, what it would smell like.*
- resto4life

*Yeah listen that's cool about all this pandemic shit but I'd like to bring up an earlier point that was made in this comment section about what would happen if we got every man on earth to shoot a load onto the same spot. I think it'd form a big treasure map and when we follow the map we find a way to clone ourselves so that we don't need women anymore. That's just a guess though, and I already think we don't need women. I've been getting along fine all these years without one, just check my reddit post history! That is except for my mom who feeds me and my grandma who clued me in that Obama's just an Indian guy with a face mask. Also there's Sandra at work who's cool but she's ugly so I don't wanna lead her on by talkin to her. I'm here for looks, people! LOOKS! If only these hot bitches could look past my lack of self care and see I'm better than fuckin Chad who's probably gonna get her killed in a motorcycle accident trying to look cool. That all said, Chad's still invited to the “Every Man on Earth Shooting a Load Onto the Same Spot" party but only because of SEMANTICS*
- Erik

*Me and my boy friend been trying to get Pregnant Naturally for the past 5 years and so for all we both got was a sore Fart Hole :(*
- Erik

*Me and my boy friend been trying to get Pregnant Naturally for the past 5 years and so for all we both got was a sore Fart Hole :(*
- SwordBoy

*Hey Alex I've been taking your super male vitality pills for a few months now and I think it's making my balls shrink. Is that supposed to happen? I also punched the front door greeter at Best Buy, which sucks cause I work there. Dude are you sure you're not just selling us steroids? I mean how the hell would you know, you look like you've got enough pills in you to make Rush Limbaugh blush. If you ever need a drug mule to ship this shit from guadalupe or wherever your nutraceutica slaveshop is, hit me up. I've been fucked by the globalists so many times that I could probably fight a couple pallets up there and I need the money to afford your endless fucking pharmacy of ground up dog dicks. Alright keep telling that truth man sending positive vibes from Sandy Hook, thanks for having Doctor Kato Kaelin on the show, he doesn't seem shifty at all with that flannel shirt under his suit jacket. In conclusion you really inspire me to look past all the bullshit and become a pill salesman lol and I'm jealous of doctors because they get to smack babies*
- Erik

*Why does this dude look like he's about to deal me a hand in online blackjack? I mean it's hard to tell actually what's going on here because you filled 3/4 of the screen with a big static image that never changes, and you put the only footage we're supposed to pay attention to in a tiny little box on the side. This was just a joy to watch, reminds me of that time I tried to design a geocities website when I was 8 and said "fuck it this looks stupid" but good on you guys for going for it anyway. As for the large hadron collider, let's hope it pulls an asteroid our way so I can catch it in my asshole hail satan*
- Erik

*As a great man once said, “aint no planet x comin cause aint no space cause aint not globe earth” but now that we've got CERN pulling asteroids our way anything's possible. I hope thos fuckin space rocks don't have crazy alien viruses on them that'll wipe out the survivors -- or at
least the ones that don't get turned into fuel cells by the robot uprising. But hey chances are it's gonna be the global warming that gets us dead quickest so I'm gonna keep tossing six-pack rings into the ocean until mother nature gets so pissed that she hits my house with a glacier and then when I'm in heaven we can get all the dudes together and see what happens when we shoot a load onto the same spot.*
- Erik

*@tedcruz yo it's cool man I accidentally liked some weird shit on twitter too check this out*
- @commentiquette

## Context

1. ↑ Kato Kaelin is an actor that resembles the fake doctor that Alex Jones had on the show.

## Video

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