Campaign Logs

> ***Arkosh**: And how do you know we're the group of adventures?*
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> ***Man**: Bird... with teapot.*
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> ***Mephillow**: Oh you're a wanted man, Barkänigh.*
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Ah yes, the well documented logs of our beloved campaign. After all, beauty of this level must be preserved! \*starts to die\*

## Chapter 1: The First Session

> *"But... but we but with our the guy said..." - **Rowan***
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Inside a rough-looking tavern, sat five unique looking characters. They all sat at a long, wooden table, all wearing casual clothing befitting of people who may have journeyed through the wilderness in recent weeks. The tavern itself was busy, crowded with people conversing and drinking. It was difficult to hear their conversations, due to the noisy talking from the other patrons. They were all mostly silent, each with a distinct look of curiosity towards their counterparts. Their curiosity of each others' presence and their differences was evident in their gazes. The air became more quiet until one of the characters spoke up, breaking the silence between them.

"Well, I suppose we all got the same letter."

This statement seemed to interest the other members of the party, as it was immediately agreed on. They all had in fact received the same letter, directing them all to meet at this specific tavern, on this specific date and time. This was their first meeting.

After a tense few moments, each character proceeded to introduce themselves. Barkänigh took it upon himself to start first. The character at the far end of the table spoke last, after a significant pause, her voice sounding almost bored. "Mephillow," was all she said, swiftly dousing the conversation in silence once more. Arkosh eventually asks, gesturing towards their shared table, of the reason behind this strange occasion. Mephillow replies with a shrug, saying how she assumed that they've all received the exact same letter.

Manik was quick to point out that the letter has seemed to come from the officials from the Shiken Republic themselves, which surprised him as this meant that the "incident" stated inside this letter had seemingly been a desperate call. He questions the validity of the letter, calling it suspiciously perfect. Arkosh is unperturbed, much to the evident disagreement in most of the others, stating that whatever the matter was, them being specifically chosen to solve this issue was probably for a good reason, and "That's all I ever need".

Barkänigh speaks about how if they can't do this job, who would, and asks the table if there was anyone else in the world who would be as brave and strong as they are. When Arkosh, Manik and Rowan evidently agrees, Mephillow rolls her eyes and calls them delusional, but ultimately doesn't object to it either.

The party of adventurers, consisting of Arkosh, Barkänigh, Mephillow, Rowan, and Manik, finds themselves embarking on their very first quest together. Initially, their interactions were marked by lighthearted banter and playful exchanges. However, the situation quickly became more serious as they discovered that they had been chosen by the influential and formidable Shogunate of the Shiken Republic to address a "grave incident" that had befallen the land. Each member of the group told of how they had all received a mysterious letter during a full moon, delivered in unconventional ways, leaving them puzzled about the nature of their mission.

Eventually, the party leaves the tavern, Rowan leading the way to a certain location written on the letter. They soon come across a fork in the path, and they all take the right. In an unexpected turn of events, a massive lizard descended from the skies, crashing down directly in front of the party. Barkänigh, the crow, found himself on the verge of becoming a delectable meal. Acting swiftly, the others launched their attacks, with Mephillow slicing the lizard in half, eliminating the danger it posed.

Upon reaching their intended destination, the party's attention was captured by a group of individuals clad in black robes. Sensing potential danger, Mephillow, Manik, and Barkänigh sought cover amidst the trees, while Arkosh and Rowan chose to confront the enigmatic figures head-on. Driven by suspicion, Arkosh made a... rather *rash* decision if I do say so myself, thrusting her dagger into the face of one of the robed men.

Soon thereafter, the leader of the robed group, known as Zaraki, emerged from the shadows. Exuding an intimidating aura, Zaraki directed his scrutiny towards Arkosh, demanding an explanation for her assault on his men. Things were tense for a bit, Arkosh seemingly fearless to a fault, while Rowan is busy pretending to not know who she is. Zaraki suddenly calls out to the rest of the party that were hiding in the trees, to come down, as he all has a few words for them. To the surprise of the party, Zaraki then revealed himself to be a representative of the powerful Shiken Republic. Tasked with the responsibility of briefing the adventurers on their current quest, he shed light on their purpose while providing cryptic instructions. Without delving into the specifics, Zaraki directed them towards a vast cave, merely emphasizing the importance of "collecting the remains."

The party found themselves standing at a precipice of uncertainty, their minds swirling with questions and apprehension. With trepidation hanging in the air, the party mustered their courage and cautiously stepped into the foreboding depths of the cave. Nervous silence enveloped them as they ventured further into the unknown. Upon entering the cave, the party made the decision to split into two groups. Barkänigh, Mephillow, and Manik took the left path, while Rowan and Arkosh ventured down the right.

Arkosh and Rowan found themselves in a vast chamber adorned with shimmering crystal-clear water. The ethereal glow reflecting off the surface created an otherworldly ambiance. Meanwhile, Barkänigh, Mephillow, and Manik maneuvered through a labyrinthine series of twisting passages. Their path led them to a clearing obstructed by an imposing mound of rocks, boulders, and stalactites. Then, Mephillow executed a series of jumps and flips, deftly traversing the obstacle and landing on the other side.

To her astonishment, Mephillow had brought herself face-to-face with a trio of monstrous entities known as the With Many Voices. Sensing danger, Barkänigh swiftly cast Twilight Sanctuary, enveloping Mephillow in a protective aura of soothing (tea) energy. Mephillow engaged one of the With Many Voices. She attempted to pierce the hide of her adversary, but the creature's defenses proved formidable, leaving only a mere dent on its rugged exterior. It was here that she also demonstrated her sailor's mouth, which is a blessing in disguise as the cursing and loud fighting alerted Arkosh and Rowan on the far side of the cave.

Just as the situation seemed dire, Arkosh arrived on the scene, casting Mind Sliver in an attempt to disorient the monsters. However, her spell failed to have the desired effect, leaving the With Many Voices unfazed and resolute. With a display of raw power, one of the With Many Voices shattered the barrier of Twilight Sanctuary, its immense strength crushing Mephillow's arm and threatening to tear it from her body. Astonishingly, the half-elf rogue exhibited an extraordinary resilience, enduring the pain with a mere grunt.

In a sudden shift of events, an oppressive aura filled the air, signaling the arrival of an dark presence. In an instant, the three formidable monsters that had engaged the party were reduced to nothing more than pulpy masses. Their bodies disintegrated into a viscous red substance, leaving behind an eerie silence that reverberated through the cave. Though battered and bruised, the *majority* of the group managed to survive the encounter pleasantly unscathed.

Recognizing the significance of the goopy substance, the party swiftly gathered samples before making their way out of the treacherous cave. Much to their surprise, the group of men in black robes, accompanied by their enigmatic leader Zaraki, awaited them at the cave's entrance. Zaraki asks Mephillow whether she is still alive and she replies with "only on the outside."

Handing over the samples they had collected, the party watched as Zaraki read to them a new letter from the Shiken Republic, instructing them to rendezvous with a man named Josh Groban (not to be confused with the in-real-life Josh Groban, however we all only wish that was the case).

As if materializing out of thin air, a new figure named Kuro Nozumi appeared on the scene, his Japanese language skills leaving much to be desired. Unfazed by the peculiar circumstances, Kuro decided to accompany the party, joining their ranks without much explanation. Mephillow, unamused by Kuro's antics, couldn't resist sarcastically questioning his tardiness, which was a rarity for him. She playfully speculated that Kuro may have fallen prey to an embarrassing mishap along his journey, catching him off guard. Although Kuro shrugged off her remarks, Mephillow's jest struck a nerve, forcing him into an uncharacteristic silence, wrestling with a sense of shame.

Barkänigh, ever the jester, attempted to lighten the somber atmosphere with a joke, but his ill-timed joke nearly cost him his wings as the injured half-elf rogue retaliated with a swift, threatening gesture. The party, now faced with the consequences of their perilous undertaking, found themselves at a critical juncture.

## Chapter 2: The Demon Child (and multiple continuous efforts to kill her)

> ***Arkosh**: Okay here's the thing; you're gonna light a fire... in a house that's flammable?*
> ***Kuro**: DID I STUTTER*
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The party ventures further into an abandoned village, the atmosphere becoming increasingly eerie. In a peculiar turn of events, Barkänigh found himself unexpectedly tossed into the river by Arkosh, an act meant to amuse the gods. The gods were amused. It started raining. Undeterred by the weather, the party dispersed, each member entering different houses in search of any remaining townsfolk.

Arkosh and Mephillow found themselves entering a cottage not far from the group's rendezvous point. Though the surroundings seemed devoid of life, Mephillow's keen (cough) perception (cough) alerted her to the presence of something amiss. Determined to uncover the truth, the two companions meticulously inspected every nook and cranny, opening furniture and peering into rooms. All of the sudden, a cupboard started shaking. Curiosity piqued, Arkosh cautiously opened the cupboard, only to be met with an unexpected sight—a little girl, who introduced herself as Rumia.

Despite her seemingly innocent demeanor, Mephillow's discerning intuition stirred a growing sense of doubt and suspicion. The air grew heavy with tension as Mephillow nearly raised her sword to strike at Rumia. Yet, before her blade could descend, Arkosh swiftly interposed herself, deftly blocking Mephillow's attack. Arkosh implored her companion to temper her aggression, and Mephillow unabashedly calls out Arkosh's tendency to exhibit cowardice when it suited her convenience.This accusation struck a nerve, unsettling Arkosh. Ultimately, Mephillow begrudgingly left Rumia be, leaving Arkosh alone with her in the cottage.

Turning her attention to the girl, Arkosh extended a gentle apology, consoling Rumia in case she might have felt scared due to Mephillow's threats. To Arkosh's bewilderment, Rumia exhibited an eerie calmness, unfazed by the encounter and maintaining a façade of cluelessness.

Meanwhile, Manik and Rowan explored a separate cottage, their careful investigation eventually deeming it a safe refuge from the relentless rain. In stark contrast, Kuro stumbled upon yet another dwelling, inexplicably deciding to set it ablaze. The party stood in speechless astonishment at his impulsive act, prompting Mephillow to emit a weary sigh.

As night settled upon the village, the group sought refuge within the vacant houses, each adventurer occupying a separate dwelling. Mephillow, unease and restless, found it difficult to find solace in sleep. In a different house, Arkosh shared her sleeping quarters with Rumia, isolated from everyone else. It was then that Rumia proposed a game of hide-and-seek. Obliging the young girl, Arkosh turned away to count to 10, unaware of the sinister transformation that was about to unfold. In that fleeting moment, Rumia vanished into thin air, leaving behind a sinister smile that etched itself across her face.

Back with Mephillow, the lingering unease prevented her from even closing her eyes. Restless and vigilant, she decided to explore her surroundings in an attempt to calm herself down. As she moved through the shadowed corridors, a presence materialized before her eyes. Rumia appeared before Mephillow, shedding her innocent guise and exposing a sinister, demonic presence.

The little girl smiles, calling Mephillow her big sister, to which the half-elf snapped back that she was an only child. Mephillow lunges forward with her shortsword. The blade found its mark, piercing through Rumia's chest. No surprise to anyone, Rumia vanished into thin air, lamenting how it seems that Mephillow doesn't want to play with her. Meanwhile, Arkosh, unaware of the unfolding events, was frantically searching the place for Rumia. Eventually, a deep-seated feeling of unease settled within her, signaling that something was terribly amiss. An unshakeable feeling that something was awry compelled her to abandon her search and rush towards the location where Mephillow had last been seen in the village.

Mephillow, keenly aware of the mounting danger that surrounded her, stood on high alert. Suddenly, without warning, Rumia materialized behind her, swiftly plunging a black and red longsword into Mephillow's chest. Rumia giggles maliciously, saying how this game was fun and she was happy that Mephillow would play with her, before she disappeared into the darkness once more. Mephillow crumbles to her knees, her consciousness waning.

Arkosh arrives at the house, but the door was sealed shut when she tried to ram through it. Then, she resolved to take drastic measures. With a surge of strength, she launched herself at the wall, breaking through it with resounding force. Through the shattered wall, Arkosh's eyes fell upon Mephillow as she knelt upon the ground, and she manages to catch the half-elf before she fell. As her hands come to wrap around Mephillow, the longsword dissipated into dust. Rumia was nowhere to be found.

The sun is peeking through the horizons when Barkänigh, Kuro, Manik and Rowan was awoken by Arkosh banging at their door. Manik opens the door, and the tiefling immediately comes in carrying Mephillow. She drops her off at Barkänigh's side, telling him to heal her before it's too late, then left the house afterwards in a frantic dash. Barkänigh panics for a bit before he realized that he was a cleric, and swiftly casts Cure Wounds on Mephillow. Unfortunately, the half-elf was unconscious still, and didn't wake up after a long while, the lack of blood causing her skin to go pale. Rowan nudges Mephillow with his foot, telling her that the floor must be a rough place to sleep on, but nothing happens. They all look at each other nervously.

Barkänigh douses Mephillow with tea and slaps her really, really hard, multiple times until finally she wakes up. The moment she did, she nearly broke Barkänigh's trachea, but other than that, she thanks the kenku for healing her. Kuro asks the half-elf for an explanation, to which Mephillow merely replied with a look that said "I told you so."

Arkosh breaks through every single house she could see, but there seemed to be absolutely nothing out of place. No sign of Rumia. She lets out a frustrated snarl, then stomps back to the rest of the party, where they await for her by a campfire outside. Arkosh sits down and prepares to tell the whole story, when Manik raises a hand to stop her, saying that Mephillow had already told them everything. Seeing the half-elf sprinkling some salt on a potato for Barkänigh, Arkosh expresses her relief that Mephillow is alright.

The morning sun had turned the now-clear sky a dusty purple, but the party decides to sit and relax for a while before continuing on their journey.

## Chapter 3: The M.L.M. (part 1)

> ***Cult guy**: Would you like to join our MLM?*
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> ***Rowan**: What's an MLM?*
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> ***Mephillow**, breaking out of character: Mobile Legends Mega--*
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> ***Everyone**, also breaking out of character: NO-*
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## Chapter 4: Barkänigh's jihad efforts (part 1???)

> *"SHUT UP YOU WANTED A CHURCH YOU GOT ONE" - **DM***
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## Chapter 5: The M.L.M. (part 2) ft. Obama

> *"Hold on guys, I just remembered I was carrying a fucking war hammer all this time!" - **Barkänigh***
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## Chapter 6: Chilling at the Shiken Republic

> *"Are you by any chance part of the HoE?" - **Random Shopkeeper***
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## Chapter 7: omw to the Shinegawa Shogunate! ft. Kwakakwakun

> *"Kicking the bird is free therapy." - **Mephillow***
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## Chapter 8: The Case With The Mysterious Disease

> *"So can we gangbang it now?" - **Arkosh***
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## Chapter 9: The Vaping Horse

> ***DM**: Does a 19 hit?*
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> ***Barkänigh**, with 19 AC: HAH, NAUR*
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> ***DM**: Oh wait, plus 1 strength*
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> ***Barkänigh**: AH BABI*
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* The party was all bunched up together, still bedazzled from the encounter with the strange man from before.
* Kuro and Harikaru drank some of Barkänigh's tea and got extreme diarrhea, forcing them to sit this one out. Even Barkänigh fell to his own ungodly creation, his stomach pains causing him to take a breather and not follow the rest of the group into the village.
* After a brief moment of "team spirit", the party jumps back into the village.
* Mephillow, Arkosh, Manik and Rowan enter one of the abandoned houses. Blood is coating every part of the room. So far so good.
* Arkosh got uninterested and went outside to climb up the roof of the house. Scanning the area, she spots a rather interesting building. Arkosh informs the group that she will be heading to that place and goes out to investigate it.
* Mephillow finds a large painting on the wall and proceeds to take it off. She finds a secret chest hidden inside a hole in the wall behind the painting. Inside the chest is a note that reads; "There isn't much time left. To whoever's reading this, contact the Shogun's army." along with coordinates written hastily on the piece of paper. Storing it into her pack, Mephillow exits the house.
* A strong gush of wind greets Mephillow as soon as she stepped outside. A blizzard, apparently. Mephillow's vision was covered in white, but by sheer luck she manages to see a bunch of other houses in the distance, and goes for it. Entering one of the houses, she finds that it was quite clean, at least cleaner than the previous one which had a pile of corpses laying around. She calls out to the rest, inviting them to take shelter here. Manik and Rowan both head outside, but Rowan chooses to just stand idly in the storm while Manik heads on over to where Mephillow was at.
* Arkosh enters into what seems to be a town hall. She discovers a large pile of rotting corpses in the middle. Upon inspecting the bodies, she discovers that most of the dead bodies were holding an MLM lottery ticket with the number 10. She stores the tickets in her pack and explores the rest of the building. Upon further investigation, she discovers that there's a secret door in the town hall office. It leads downwards with a long and winding staircase.
* Outside, the blizzard has cleared, but the surroundings were now covered in a thick cloud of mist. Using his extremely good vision, Rowan somehow spots a large figure hidden in the distance. He casts Eldritch Blast on the figure, but it was mostly unaffected. Then, the being slowly approached him and the house.

> "*The abomination before you is not of this world, a grotesque fusion of man and beast that defies all reason. Its form is a horrific melding of human and horse, their flesh stripped away to reveal the sinews and tendons beneath, pulsing with an unnatural life. The sight of its exposed musculature and tendons, twisted and contorted in an impossible union, fills you with a primal fear that sends shivers down your spine. The air around it feels thick with a sickening stench, as though the very essence of death itself emanates from its twisted form. You cannot help but feel a creeping sense of dread, as though the monster's very presence heralds an impending doom.*"
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* Mephillow took a sniff of the weird purple smoke and got high. Just kidding, she took 2 necrotic damage. Still, don't do drugs kids.
* [insert all the stuff that happened with Arkosh and the alchemy stuff]
* Arkosh finds some blue crystals and sniffs them, saying "tight ight tight".
* Arkosh sees a cage. Inside the cage was a dinosaur.
* Mephillow enters another abandoned house. The walls, floors and furniture are all covered in blood. Upon inspecting the walls and licking the blood, she finds that it's been like that for a while now. On her feet is a large blood-soaked carpet. She lifts it up and finds nothing but the sudden urge to taste the blood again, but she contains herself. For now.
* Rowan encounters Rumia and spams BIDEN BLAST! Some of it missed and instead carves a huge hole on the roof of the house below them.
* im way too tired for this shit
* Kuro is sitting back at the party's house/HQ/private accommodations. Harikaru is nowhere to be seen.
* The others are tired and worn out from spending the whole damn day at the village. Arkosh enters the showers first, miraculously not drowning. Barkanigh and Kuro share a room, and I swore I heard God shudder in fear just a moment there. Oh wait that's just the DM - moving on. Rowan and Manik share a room, because they are just two bros chilling together ~~five~~ ten feet apart cause they're not gay- Mephillow, along with the Toyol, sleeps at the farthest room from the entrance in the house. Arkosh, nice and cosy in a fresh kimono, sleeps in the room next to Mephillow's. For safety purposes, I am obligated to let the readers know that Mephilow's room had two single beds placed far away from each other and that Mephillow placed the dead Toyol on one bed while she sleeps on another.
* No corpses were molested during the events of this session.

## Chapter 10: Fireball Solves All Problems

***Armor Guy:** I want you....*

***Manik:** You want me? Ok~*

* The party enters the Shogun's castle.
* The party goes shopping~! <333333333
* Mephillow splits from the group to go find the doctor. Along the way, she shops for a Whistle-Stick.
* The others (Arkosh, Rowan, Manik, Sieun and Kuro) enter a weapons shop.
* Back at Mephillow, while she's making her way downtown, walking fast, faces past and-
* She senses that someone is following her. Mephillow dons her mask and immediately takes hold of the stalking stranger. It turns out to be the doctor from before. He asks Mephillow to follow him back to his clinic.
* "*I don't even have a medical license.*"
* Hearing that, Mephillow instantly stabs him. The doctor falls to the ground, clutching his wound painfully as blood starts pooling around him.
* Mephillow pulls the knife out. The doctor curses her underneath his breath as he takes a healing potion and cures his wound. Quite unfortunately, Mephillow heard it and stabs him again.
* The party enters a cemetery. Rumia appears, t-posing on the sky like a Bleach character. (she kinda is anyways. our DM is a weeb)
* Epic boss fight ensues (but its not what you think!)
* Rumia sends off one of her "experiments"; a giant skinless monster wielding a scythe.
* KAMEHAMEHA WAVE
* Just Fireball
* Just Fireball
* Just Fireball
* J̶̫̹̯̮͍̈́͛͌́̀ṳ̴̡̦̻̼͔͕͕̓̉̌͒͗̒͑̊ͅs̴̢͈͖̯͈̗̗̱̅̀͌̃̿́̐̑̂̕ţ̴̮̟͓̮̥̘̜̻̫̋ ̸̣̦̹̤̝̝͈̓̐̊̊͛̀͠͠F̴̡̢̤̮̥̩̣̯͈͎̀̊̑̌̽̎̈́̚͘͘i̸̧̫̲̗̓͑̿͌̀͊̽̚͠͝r̵̰͈͕̲̜̈͐̓͆̆͐͝e̵̲̿̋̃͘̚b̵̡͚͚̞͇̯̝̩̱̣͘å̶̝̯̬̰͈̞̭̻̣̝̈́͒̒͑̏̓̓l̴̛̟͚̲̭̖̳̳͋̾̆̿́̚͜l̶̪̙̬̪͇̘̳̝̯̔͒̓͑̐̈̑̈̏ͅ
* JUST FIREBALL

## Chapter 11:

> *"Woman. PUT ON SOME CLOTHES." - Bill Clinton*
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It has come to my awareness that most of us are retarded nincompoops who will not hesitate to showcase how easily we laugh at the words "pee-pee-poo-poo".

* So. After the boss fight, Ayakusa Shirou appears to teleport everyone back to their house.