Critical Role: Sick Day

The thumbnail of "**Critical Role: Sick Day**" (Sx82), featuring Robbie Daymond, Taliesin Jaffe, Travis Willingham, and Sam Riegel.

### Episode

Specials,​ Episode 82
(C3E82c)

### Transcript

Transcript

"**Critical Role: Sick Day**" (Sx82) is a special episode broadcast live when cast illness prevented the airing of the regularly scheduled Campaign 3 episode. It featured Taliesin Jaffe, Sam Riegel, and Travis Willingham of the regular cast, along with Robbie Daymond, creating their Bells Hells characters in Baldur's Gate 3 and answering questions from the live chat audience.

## **Synopsis**

Everybody's texting in sick! Producer Ashley breaks the glass on Critical Role's Emergency Plan: Baldur's Gate and Robbie Daymond. Dani Carr is there to show her how it's done.

Live from beautiful downtown Burbank! It's Critical Role! Or at least 3/8ths of it, plus Robbie, wearing their comfiest pajamas. The rest of the cast is out sick with either respiratory or digestive system upsets (Sam starts a rumor Liam has pica). It was going to be just Sam, Travis, and Taliesin, but they've brought in Robbie to be the adult. Just to be clear, they're not going to *play* Baldur's Gate; they're just creating their Bells Hells characters in it, while answering questions from the Live Twitch Chat.

Since Travis has actually played the game, he goes first, and at Chat's suggestion they roll dice to determine the order thereafter.

### **Chetney Pock O'Pea**

Chetney starts from a gnome base, and the questions start coming in from Chat.

* *Besides your own character, who's your favorite character in Campaign Three?* Taliesin likes everybody but picks Fearne; Sam picks Chetney; Robbie chooses Effid the Fallen.
* *Will we see more of Robbie's character in Campaign Three?* They don't know. All Robbie knows is Matt hasn't killed Dorian off-screen yet. Sam assures Robbie that in this Campaign, he's in the top ten guest characters.

(They discover the "Genitals" section of the menu and Producer Ashley panics briefly until they move away.)

* *When you guys make a new character, what's your process when developing the character? Backstory? Personality traits? Etc.* Taliesin starts with a playlist, then finds part of his personality or past that he'd like to explore in a fantasy world.

**Clear for Genitals!**
We do not get to see what they see when Travis hits "Hide Clothes" due to Twitch TOS, but it reduces Travis to tears. There is much discussion of pubic hair. Robbie: "He's a grower, not a shower."

### **Ashton Greymoore**

* *For Robbie: How did it feel when you responded to the stone message from Orym?* Robbie will always do anything Critical Role asks him to do. He did about five takes each of two different messages and asked Matt to choose. Sam asks if he normally submits a bunch of takes for auditions, admitting he used to do multiple takes and edit them, but now he doesn't "give a shit". Robbie admits the number of takes depends how interested he is in the part. Travis remembers back when he'd do multiple takes to show his range, but now mostly is one and done. They discuss the vocal "slates" at the start of each audition submitted, who provides them, and who chooses them.
* *For Taliesin: Could you please make Mollymauk instead?* We've talked about this *so* many times, Chat.
* *For Taliesin: What would Ashton think of Caduceus?* Ashton would think he's a bit of a dope. Hippies and punks don't always pair well.
* *What's the update on The Legend of Vox Machina Season Three?* They know, but they can't say.
* *What animal could you beat in a fight?* Robbie could beat a domestic German shepherd in his sleep. Sam asks for dog-defense tips -- he's heard sticking your finger up its butt works, and he's been trying it on hikes. Travis thinks that's sharks. Robbie also thinks he could beat a kangaroo until Travis describes its razor-sharp claws, and advises against fighting koalas because a lot of them have chlamydia. Travis thinks he could beat a cow and Sam thinks he could beat an eagle. Robbie provides info on bears' fighting tactics,
* *For Sam: How do you come up with the gas can bits for the show?* It's a group effort now since Sam's not good at Photoshop. Usually the day of the show, Sam contacts Producer Kyle with an idea which they then refine.
* *For Travis: Channel your inner Laura to describe your Chetney hoodie.* It's new in the Critical Role shops.
* *For Taliesin: How much has your experience with the World of Darkness games influenced your creation and portrayal of Ashton?* Brujah is the punk vampire clan, but Taliesin really hadn't thought about it. In the Critical Role vampire one-shots Taliesin assigned everyone their clans because he knew they wouldn't do the reading required.
* *For Sam: Can you please post the Chetney weiner picture?* They discuss which platforms would allow it and Dani suggests Twitter, then Reddit. Sam discovers r/critters doesn't allow pictures in replies.
* *For Travis: What was Chetney's favorite toy from when* he *was a kid?* Rocking horses, because they require precision craftsmanship.
* *For Travis: How do you think Grog or Fjord would handle Chetney?* Grog would be confused but try to befriend him and Fjord would not be a fan.
* *For Robbie: How would Dorian feel about his friends being on the moon?* Robbie is shocked and surprised, but he had a semi-stratosphere plan back in Exandria Unlimited about the Circlet of Barbed Vision.
* *For Travis: Are there Chetney skins left all over Exandria from all of the werewolf transformations?* 100%.

**Clear for Genitals!**
Again, we do not get to see, but Travis sings the "Green Giant" song. Taliesin isn't sure what stone does down there, and the others aren't sure "giant" applies, but Taliesin wants to leave room for fanfics. Robbie gets up close and personal to determine the "cut" versus "uncut" status of the options.

* *What's something you would love to make for the Critical Role Shop?* <cricket sounds>
* *What should I do if I'm still in Campaign One? I'm on the last episode of the Trial of the Take.* Stick with Campaign One and dabble in Campaign Three.

### **Fresh Cut Grass**

* *If you could give your kids one toy that you played with as a child, what would it be?* Taliesin had a haunted Teddy Ruxpin. Robbie recounts how terrorizing it was when his mom had to be late picking him up from daycare, but brought him a stuffed doggie that he still has.
* *For Sam: Are you proud of your son for his on-stream appearance last week?* Yes, very. Max was really excited and was reassured that Chat liked it.
* *If you could spend more time in any location you visited in Exandria so far, where would you go?* The Shattered Teeth, definitely.
* *For Robbie: How did it feel when you responded to the stone message from Orym?* Coming back around for a second try at an answer, Robbie says he tried to be a little funny, but consider how to reply to someone he could tell was struggling.
* *Can you please do a live show with Robbie in Cincinnati?* Robbie loves Cincinnati.
* *How does it feel having your previous characters make cameos in this campaign?* Travis wouldn't know, because Matt's scared to bring out Grog. Sam points out Scanlan hasn't appeared, either.
* *Why are all Sam Riegel's characters under four feet tall?* Sam has short man syndrome, even though he's tall. He just wants to fade away.
* *I sing "The Ballad of Bertrand Bell" to my kids to put them to sleep. Cheers to Dorian.*
* *What is your go-to take-out or fast food order?* Taliesin likes little greasy spoon diners. Travis loves pad thai and Wendy's. Robbie's shame is he likes Wendy's chili.
* *What are some of your characters' guilty pleasures?* FCG likes eating money and drinking things they shouldn't. Caduceus's is kombucha because it's secretly alcoholic.
* *No weapons, no magic, no powers - Could you beat your campaign three character in a fight?* Taliesin - no. Sam - no. Robbie - probably not. Travis would *smoke* Chetney.
* *What is a D&D class you'd like to play in the future?* Taliesin: he's been tinkering with a couple of things, including an *Oceans 11* rat pack sorcerer, but if he ever gets to do a new Exandria Unlimited: Calamity, he has a monk ready to go. He also has a character ready for the other EXU that he's not allowed to mention because Matt will kill him. Travis really wants to do more EXU: Calamity set in different cities.

**Clear for Genitals!**
My goodness, there are some interesting combinations, but with Taliesin's help, Sam chooses the sleeker of the two.

* *When will there be a reboot of All Work No Play but with interesting people?* As soon as they find some.
* *Would Chetney be interested in building a carousel in Whitestone?* Percy would do the mechanicals and Chetney would make it beautiful.

### **Dorian Storm**

* *Will there ever be more Narrative Telephone?* They've been talking about it, because they all loved it. It may come back because they need that insanity in their lives.
* *Would any of you consider being a gamemaster for a longer campaign?* Taliesin did it in high school and isn't sure he wants to again. Sam's doing it for a bunch of kids right now, but he's found kids these days are rule followers. It's set in the Wildemount Wildlings summer camp.
* *What Disneyland ride would be each of your characters' favorite?* FCG would like Autopia, Chetney would like Thunder Mountain, Ashton's is Space Mountain.
* *Australia when?* It's being thought about. The rest of the world chimes in with their own suggestions.

**Clear for Genitals!**
The production crew helpfully adds the floating dicks from Jester and Duplicate Jester's ad, so the audience can easily visualize what the cast can see and we can't. Robbie is, overall, disappointed with the options but settles for model "D".

* *Fuck, marry, or kill? Delilah Briarwood, Otohan Thull, and Avantika.* Travis: Marry Delilah, fuck Avantika, kill Otohan. Sam and Taliesin agree. Robbie: Fuck Delilah, kill Otohan, and since he doesn't know who Avantika is, marry her.
* *How many pairs of crocs does Sam have?* Pink and red, but he's thinking of getting more.
* *For Robbie: How was it working on Cyberpunk? I bang River every playthrough.* That's the kind of loyalty Robbie's looking for!
* There is much discussion of football, but only Travis knows what's going on in the playoffs. *For Taliesin: What's your favorite sportsball?* Marbles don't count? He used to attend L.A. Dodgers and Angels baseball games, and he's been to some polo and women's soccer matches.

### **Speed Round**

Travis starts building Fjord while the talk continues. The build starts from half-orc and moves to human when they're not handsome enough, and ends up with a heavily bearded Nordic Fjord.

* *What's a hobby you would like to pick up?* Sleep? Q has been doing light sabering and might teach Sam how.
* *For Robbie: What would Dorian's signature fragrance be?* This year, Creed "Aventus", but his go-to is his dad's cologne, "Obsession" by Calvin Klein. Taliesin is big into fragrance. During "that thing that we shot that I can't talk about" people brought things in to share, but his favorite is "Cumming" by Alan Cumming.

Sam starts building speed-run Scanlan. Somehow it morphs into the love child of Scanlan and Taryon Darrington.

* *Who is your favorite character from any campaign to see a cosplay of?* Robbie amends it: It can't be one of your own characters. For Travis, Vax'ildan and Keyleth. It takes a brave person to play Grog, since it's all body paint. Taliesin would *like* to see a Doty, but hasn't yet. He likes Laudnas, and has mad respect for anyone making a Mollymauk coat.
* *Favorite sci-fi or fantasy novel?* Taliesin and Travis: *Doctor Who*. Sam just started reading *Mistborn*. Robbie is reading *The Three Body Problem*.
* *What are your favorite things to do when you're sick?* Pedialyte Pops. Matzo ball soup. Taliesin watches movies he knows he'll hate, like *Tomb Raider*. Travis watched *Young Frankenstein* the same way, but his go-to with a cold is a thick milkshake.

Taliesin takes over the controls to build Mollymauk.

* *Question for all: Are you guys okay?* Do you *watch* the show?
* *What is your favorite unanswered conspiracy theory about Exandria that you either discovered because of in-world or just fan speculation?* Dani knows things that are and aren't true, so it's hard to answer with what she's allowed to say. She's interested in Delilah Briarwood's past and everything to do with Ruidus.
* *For art purposes, what color was Chetney's hair when he was younger?* He wasn't blond, but telling the hair color might reveal certain lineages.
* *Is Mollymauk a "they" or a "he"?* He's a "he".
* *Is Chetney Scanlan's dad?* No. Sam isn't convinced, and asks if Chetney is Fjord's dad. Yes. 100%.
* *For Robbie: Favorite Campaign Three episode you were in? What was the most challenging thing about starting up the campaign?* Sports analogy: You've barely thrown a baseball in your life and they call you to come pitch for the Dodgers. The scariest part was whether he could hold his own with the experienced cast, but they were so welcoming it went away immediately. His favorite part was the Ball because everybody was figuring it out as they went.
* *For Sam: Are the Brenattos planning on having more children?* They're certainly trying.
* *For Travis: What made you decide that Chetney hated Dorian?* Bertrand Bell and Dorian had amazing chemistry, so he thought it was funny to fuck with Robbie with his new character.
* *Is Fresh Cut Grass Henry Crabgrass's dad?* Laughter, but perhaps significantly, Sam does not answer this insightful and significant inquiry.
* *For Sam: What's under the bathrobe?* A kilt. He delicately rearranges to give a glorious view of his legs while remaining within Twitch TOS.
* *Favorite quote from Campaign Three is "Why is you so mean to me?"* Robbie's favorite part of that is that Sam immediately commented on the grammar error.
* *Any advice for first time players or DMs?* Stay flexible, go with the flow. Throw out the rules when you need to to get the story going. There are worse things than dying on graph paper. If you're running a game for kids, don't tell them anything's off limits.

They determine this is the perfect ending point, while discussing who is "dadding" who. Sam realizes he doesn't know where to post his photo of Chetney's naked essence and the consensus is Reddit.

* *PLEASE DO MORE LIVE STREAMS.* They want to, but they're busy with other stuff. Sam thinks the people who weren't here should do one.

Thanks to everyone who joined them tonight.

## **Trivia**

* Both Lorekeeper Dani Carr and producer Ashley Middlebrook made appearances.

## **References**

1. ↑ As of this broadcast, there have been seven guest characters in Campaign Three.
2. ↑ At your own risk, this distinctly NSFW content is available on Sam's Twitter.
3. ↑ See "A Woodworker's Quandary" (3x08) at 0:26:02.

**Art:**