Gossip Mongers (S1E9)

Gossip Mongers is the ninth episode of the first season of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It aired on January 7, 2020.

## Synopsis

Clem is studying for astronomy in the Gryffindor common room while the rest of the group is in the Great Hall. Clem reads about the Carina Nebula. Lily Luna Potter sits down next to Clem to work on Potions homework. Lily starts a conversation with Clem. They talk about Hogwarts. Lily talks about her dad and two brothers, James and Albus. She says that her dad and Albus don’t get along because Albus is in Slytherin and her father was in Gryffindor. Clem doesn’t recognize who her father is. Lily explains that her father is famous. They talk about Astronomy and Potions, and Clem tells Lily about stuff in the Muggle world, like aspirin. Lily asks if Clem saw that Sebastian came back from the hospital wing. Clem tells Lily that she and her friends were the ones who found him. Clem also tells her how they broke into the Hufflepuff common room. Lily asks how they got out. Clem says that her friend was sick, so they had to take her to the hospital wing. Clem asks if James get into trouble a lot. Lily says yes. Clem suggests that maybe James lost the house points. Lily says he probably did. Lily also tells Clem about her cousin, Rose Granger-Weasley, who’s a chaser on the Quidditch team. Clem tells Lily that one of her best friends, Masie, is really into Quidditch, and says that Lily should get to know her and her other best friends as well. Lily says that James is really good at pranks because he learned from their Uncle George. Lily and Clem continue studying.

Meanwhile, the rest of the group make their way toward the portraits near the moving staircase. Masie suggests that they look for a portrait who likes to gossip. Rosie suggests the Fat Lady, since she seems to like to gossip. Olive and Masie head toward the Fat Lady while Alex and Rosie begin to look at the portraits nearby. Alex finds a portrait from 1853 of a group in Victorian robes holding fancy silverware and drinking wine, looking like they’re having a party. Rosie gets a bit overwhelmed by the stairs and gets moved up several times by the moving stairs as she slowly eats some pocket mash. Alex asks the portrait he found about the Dark Creatures class. He also asks if they know any portraits from around the 1700s. The people in the portrait, Henry, Margaret, and another man, say that they don’t. Rosie finds a portrait from 1697 of a lady with a very small lap dog. As she approaches, the dog starts yipping. Rosie opens up her robe to show the dog her food. The lady introduces her dog as Herbert and herself as Lady Baubbles. Rosie asks her for help, but the lady says that she’s busy. Rosie gives an impassioned speech to convince her to help. The lady agrees. Rosie asks the lady about a building that disappeared, or a class that is no longer taught, or a boy that died in a building. The lady realizes she’s asking about the Vanished Wing. Rosie asks how it vanished. The lady says she doesn’t know; it was a mystery. Rosie asks if any students vanish with it. The lady says yes. Rosie asks if the lady knows anyone else who might have more information about it. The lady suggests Professor Binns. Rosie tells Alex that the portrait told her to go ask Professor Binns. Alex and Rosie spend time trying to meet in the middle, but they keep getting caught in the moving stairs and missing each other.

Meanwhile, Masie and Olive arrive at the portrait of the Fat Lady. Masie tells the Fat Lady that they heard that she knows about all the happenings in the school. The Fat Lady confirms this. Olive says they heard a rumor that there used to be a classroom for Dark Creatures by the greenhouses. Masie says that there was a scandal there. Olive says that everyone told them that only the Fat Lady would know. The Fat Lady asks what the scandal was. Masie says someone died. The Fat Lady asks who died. Olive says that it was a Ravenclaw student in the early 1705. Olive helps the Fat Lady blow the dust off her frame to reveal that her portrait is from 1954. Olive says that perhaps the Fat Lady heard something from some of the older portraits. The Fat Lady asks if they’ve talked to any of the ghosts. She suggests asking Sir Nicholas. Olive calls Sir Nicholas “Flops”. Olive and Masie tell the Fat Lady about Raye, Sebastian, and the ghost. The Fat Lady asks if the ghost was the Bloody Baron. Olive says no; this ghost was young and cute. Masie convinces the Fat Lady to ask around to get information that could help them. Olive turns red and pulls her scarf up because she’s embarrassed that her crush on the ghost was exposed. Masie reassures her that it’s okay and she doesn’t have to be embarrassed. Masie teases Olive for calling Sir Nicholas “Flops”, and Olive stomps off in a huff (although she’s not truly angry).

Alex and Rosie finally manage to meet up after being moved around by the moving staircases for quite a long time. Rosie says that they should go ask Professor Binns about the Vanished Wing. Alex says that they could claim to be trying to start a new club where they talk about magical architecture so that they could ask about the Vanished Wing without arousing suspicion. Alex also suggests looking up the Vanished Wing in the library. Rosie says that the librarian doesn’t like her because she slammed pocket mash on her desk, intending it as a gift, but it wasn’t received well. Alex says that Rosie can show off her velcro pocket to prove that her food is secure and won’t get on anything in the library. Rosie and Alex try to call out to Olive and Masie to get their attention. Alex shouts out “Beans”, while Rosie yodels. Masie hears Rosie and yodels back, “Swoffle off ooh hoo!” Rosie hears Masie. Masie asks Olive to join her. Rosie is scared to move on the moving stairs because she’s scared of dying, but Alex convinces her to hold his arm with one hand and to hold the banister with the other hand and move slowly. After a good ten minutes, they’re able to reunite. They swap notes. Rosie tries to text Clem, but her phone shuts down. They all decide to swap notes on the way back to the Gryffindor common room to find Clem.

They arrive at the Gryffindor common room, but the Fat Lady is absent from her portrait. They hear the Fat Lady and notice that she’s in another portrait of a party scene that’s above them. Masie whispers to Olive and asks if she wants to tell Alex and Rosie how she feels about the ghost because the Fat Lady might tell them. Rosie overhears and says she knows already. The Fat Lady arrives. They ask her what her name is. She says everyone calls her the Fat Lady. Rosie says they could call her Madam Your Highness, Queen of the School. The Fat Lady likes it. They ask for her first and last name. She says that she doesn’t like her first name, but she says they can call her Madam Magnolis. Masie whispers the password into the Fat Lady’s ear. Masie and Olive go in to call Clem while Rosie chats with Madam Magnolis. Masie and Olive find Clem doing some schoolwork with Lily Luna Potter. Masie gives Clem a hug. Masie and Olive say hi to Lily. Olive tells Clem that they have important SWOFF homework. Clem doesn’t know what SWOFF is but gets up to go with them anyway and tells Lily that they can study together again next week. Masie asks Clem if she trusts Lily. Clem says she probably needs more time to get to know Lily, and that Lily seemed like she might get upset about losing house points. They ask Olive if they should invite Lily. Olive says that new friends are good, but they might be losing more house points. Masie says that maybe Lily could use some friends. Olive goes over to Lily and invites her to hang out. Masie says they’re going on an adventure. Lily says she loves adventures. Olive tells Lily that they’re on a top secret mission and they’re trying to solve a mystery. Masie warns Lily that they broke some rules in order to solve the mystery. Olive says that they can fill Lily in on the way out. Clem asks what SWOFF is. Lily asks if it’s like S.P.E.W. They ask what SPEW is. Lily says it’s something her aunt created. Olive tells them that SWOFF is the Secret Wizarding Organization for Friendship, and that Clem and Lily are now in SWOFF. Clem gives Rosie a hug. Alex notices that Lily is with them and immediately asks, “Would you like to split a bean sandwich?” Clem shakes her head at Lily, warning her to say no. Olive explains that she forgot to tell them about the code. Alex asks if they’re letting everyone into SWOFF. Olive says just the cool people. Rosie offers Lily pocket mash. Alex asks how much Lily knows. Alex jokes that if she breaks the secret, she gets thrown off the tower. Rosie welcomes Lily to SWOFF. Masie asks if Olive is okay, thinking that she might not be. Rosie asks if Olive wants a hug. Olive says, “Always.” Their hug turns into a group hug with everyone. Alex explains the SWOFF code to Lily. Olive says that the Fat Lady told them to go look for the ghost with his head chopped off. Alex saysa Madam Baubbles told them to speak with Professor Binns. Masie starts giggling. Clem insists that Masie tell her why she’s giggling so much. The Fat Lady watches them eagerly. Masie says that Olive should tell them. Olive gives Masie a look. Masie says she meant for Olive to tell them about what she calls Nearly Headless Nick. Clem asks if there’s more than that. Clem says they can’t hold secrets from each other. Olive says they should go find a ghost, either Professor Binns or Nearly Headless Nick. Masie continues giggling. Olive keeps trying to quiet Masie. Clem confesses to Lily that she lied about not losing house points. Clem notices that Lily is upset, so she apologizes. Alex says she should eat a Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Bean as punishment. Clem agrees to do it if that would make Lily feel more comfortable. Lily says okay, so Clem eats an amber-coloured leftover popcorn-flavoured bean that Alex gives her. Lily forgives Clem. Masie continues giggling. Clem insists that she has to say why she’s laughing, and she mentions that Olive looks upset. Alex thinks Masie is cursed. Masie says that she’s not cursed and explains that she’s laughing because Olive called Nearly Headless Nick “Flops.” Olive asks Lily where they could find Nearly Headless Nick. Lily says that he’s usually in the Great Hall. They say goodbye to the Fat Lady and head toward the Great Hall. Rosie leads the way. Rosie thinks she knows where she’s going, but she doesn’t quite, so she ends up leading them to the Great Hall in a very roundabout way, so it takes a long time. The group has a long conversation on the way to the Great Hall. Masie apologizes to Olive for giggling. Alex asks if they’ve told Lily everything. Clem says he’ll have to catch her up. They mention Dudley, and Lily says that her dad got Dudley for Hagrid. Rosie asks who her dad is and explains that she’s a Muggleborn after Lily asks. Alex says that he used to think he was a Muggle, but then his parents got into an argument and then he went to live with his gran. Since they’re not keeping secrets, Alex tells them that he was raised as a Muggle until he was 8 years old and that his dad is Professor Pinescrew, the professor who teaches Muggle Studies. He says that they raised him as a Muggle but then his mum started to think that it wasn’t a good idea anymore, but his dad thought it still was. Alex isn’t exactly sure what the reason for his upbringing was; perhaps they wanted him to appreciate the things in the Muggle world. He says his gran would let him read about magic and would show him magic while his parents were working. Rosie hugs Alex. Alex says that he didn’t want to keep secrets anymore since Clem said they couldn’t and he hasn’t had friends in a while. Alex mentions that his upbringing explains how he knows so much about Muggle stuff, like the subway, which isn’t a monster. Lily asks Clem why she told them it was a monster. Clem says that it was a metaphor. Alex asks who else has secrets to tell since he told his secrets. Rosie says that she has two dads and one of them is a chef. Clem says that she’s an orphan, her parents died in a car accident, she lives with her grandma, she had no friends, and she lived on the Internet. Olive says her secret is that she brought a pet to Hogwarts. Alex says he brought Benny. Olive says her pet isn’t one of the ones on the list of pets that were allowed at Hogwarts. Alex asks what kind of pet. Olive says a mouse named Thimble. Alex says that cats, toads, and owls all eat mice. This worries Olive. They ask Masie for a secret. Masie says that she has to think about it. Masie asks Lily if she has a secret. Lily says that she was really scared before she came to school that no one would like her. Clem says they like her. Alex says that nobody in Ravenclaw except for Barney likes him. Rosie says they’re just upset. Alex says it’s okay because he has all of them plus Barney, Jacinth, and Blaine. They finally arrive at the Great Hall. Alex says that Hogwarts should install elevators. Lily says that her dad tried to explain elevators to her but it was confusing. Lily also says that James tried to explain them to her, but she doesn’t trust him. Clem calls James “James the git.” Alex says that the word “git” sounds funny in Clem’s accent. Clem attempts to do a British accent. Alex, Rosie, and Lily chuckle. Olive says Clem’s accent was really good. They walk into the Great Hall. Breakfast has finished. It’s about 11:00am. Most of the students have dispersed. Nearly Headless Nick and the Fat Friar are nowhere in sight. They decide to go find Professor Binns and pretend to be starting a magical architecture club so they can ask about the Vanished Wing. As they exit the Great Hall, they notice that it looks darker than it should. Clem checks her phone for the time. She notices that it’s especially malfunctioning. Everything on the screen is messed up. They all hear strange whispering. They feel a gentle wind from the entrance. Fog starts to roll in. All the shadows around them seem to grow larger. Alex hears a music box and remembers that Shades can affect the nearby shadows, can inhabit them, and are therefore very dangerous. Alex tells everyone to stay away from the shadows and get their wands out and cast Lumos.

## Cast

### Main Cast

* Wacksteven - Headmaster of Doom
* Helloitskolo - Masie Skyler
* LuxieGames - Rosalina Earthcloud
* Mirggles - Clementine Goosanders
* Negaoryx - Olive Everglade
* Zcotticus - Alexander Pippin

## Characters

* Masie Skyler
* Rosalina Earthcloud
* Clementine Goosanders
* Olive Everglade
* Alexander Pippin

## Relationships

* Masie: +1 Masie, -1 Rosalina
* Rosalina: +1 Clem, -1 Clem
* Clementine: +1 Olive, -1 Alexander
* Olive: +1 Olive, -1 Clem
* Alexander: +1 Rosie, -1 Masie

## House Points

### Players

* Masie: +5 points, rolled 9
* Rosalina: +5 points, rolled 9
* Clementine: +5 points, rolled 9
* Olive: +5 points, rolled 7
* Alexander: -5 points, rolled 5

### Total

* Gryffindor: 52
* Hufflepuff: 25
* Ravenclaw: 45
* Slytherin: 10

## Downtime Moves

* Masie: Job (2d6), 11 (Galleons)
* Rosalina: Spellcasting (Magic), 6 (fail)
* Clementine: Social Activities (Heart), 7 (partial success)
* Olive: Job (2d6), 7 (Galleons)
* Alexander: Social Activities (Heart), 4 (fail)

## Quotes

* Lily: I’m surprised you didn’t see my git of a brother there. Clem: Which one is the git? Lily: James. Clem: James is the git. Okay.
* Rosie: That’s a wonderful name - Baubles. Like the Christmas ornaments. Lady Baubbles: Yes… Rosie: Do you like Christmas? Lady Baubbles: No.
* Rosie: Professor Binn there done that, huh? Lady Baubbles: Excuse me?
* Olive: Sir Nicholas, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The Fat Lady: You know, the chap with the floppy head. Olive: Sure, yes. Oh, oh, Floppy! Yeah, no, we met Flops.
* The Fat Lady: It’s not the Bloody Baron, is it? Olive: No! Ew, no! He’s young and cute! Masie: He’s what?!? Olive?!? Is there something you need to tell me?!? Olive: Shh, no, Masie. Shh. Not now, Masie. The Fat Lady: Olive is in love with a ghost!
* The Fat Lady: A student in love with a ghost! No, it’s not the Bloody Baron!
* Olive: Let’s go find the head guy she was talking about. Masie: What did you call him? Flappy? Olive: Flops? Well, I saw his head flopping around and I didn’t know - I didn’t know his name was Nicholas. Nobody told me!
* Rosie: Accio Stopio.
* Olive: Which way are we headed? Masie: Down, I think. Olive: Yes, I know where down is. I can do that, yes.
* Olive: I say a two-step plan. 1: Swoffle all the way down. 2: Look for pocket mash on the floor. Masie: Oh, but she velcro-ed her...We could still look for it. It’s probably everywhere. Olive: You never know.
* Olive: Excuse me, Missus Fat Lady, ma’am. Alex: [*gasp*] How rude. You can’t call her fat. Rosie: Can we call her thicc? Olive: That’s her name. Alex: She’s plus-size lady. Masie: We should ask her what she wants to be called.
* Clem: I mean, okay, so maybe we should give her the, like, gentle introduction to our group, into SWOFF. You know, like first we start with the potato mash, and then we start with the beans, and then eventually, we get to the possible - possibly being expelled, yeah?
* Olive: Rule number one: Pocket mash is the glue that binds the group together. Rule number two: Beans - yuck, gross, disgusting. Don’t eat them in a sandwich at all. And number three is keep the secrets of the group within the group.
* Rosie: Welcome to SWOFF. We have endless snacks, and we’ll probably be in the hospital wing later if you’re interested. Lily: Clem mentioned that. Why is everyone going to the hospital? Rosie: I don’t know. We just can’t get it together, I’ll be honest with you, Lily. Clem: Yeah, we kind of just keep getting hurt.
* Mirggles: (describing Rosie’s bow to the Fat Lady) Like a baby giraffe learning how to walk. Luxie: I want that to be a main character descriptor of Rosalina from now on.
* Alex: I used to think I was a Muggle. Clem: And then what happened? Alex: My mum and dad had a big argument about it, and then I went to live with my gran.
* Alex: Who else has secrets to tell? I’ve told - that’s like my biggest secret, pretty much. Rosie: I have two dads! It’s not really a secret but...most people don’t have two dads.
* Rosie: You can’t just say that she might’ve eaten her twin in the womb!! Clem: What? Everyone could’ve!
* Rosie: Sassy. I’m gonna put mashed potato in their pillows.

## Fun Facts

* In this episode, they said that S.W.O.F.F. stands for “Secret Wizarding Order for Friendship” instead of “Secret Wizard Organization for Friendship.”
* At the time of this episode, the wands that RamRaye made for Mirggles and Zcotticus got stopped at customs in the UK, but Kolo spoke to them and reorganized the delivery to get to her by the end of the week so she could pass them along to Mirggles and Zcotticus.
* Wack said that he would be changing the rules for the Relationships move

## References

1. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=1903
2. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=3376
3. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=3786
4. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=4296
5. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=4598
6. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=4699
7. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=4784
8. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=4875
9. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=5271
10. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=5297
11. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=6438
12. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=7050
13. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=7260
14. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=7847
15. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=8580
16. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=8686
17. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=8975
18. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=9329
19. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=9418
20. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=1064
21. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=6365
22. ↑ https://youtu.be/sKoeQNWvX5w?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=10252