Tsala

## Background information

### Books

*Superquack* (Postscript scene)
*Sebiscuits: Apocalypse
The Super Babies: Pride of the Super Babies
The Super Babies: The Blabberish Singer
Before The SMSB: What is a Bloodbath?* (mentioned)
*The Marauder* (mentioned)
*Band of Justice: Omniverse* (unreleased; mentioned)

## Other information

### Visitors

Baby Intelligence
Others

**Tsala** was a completely frozen desert plain located in the Unknown Countries on Earth. Tsala was chosen by the Dark Lord, Mr. Stupid NoHead, to be his realm because of the harrowingly strong presence of darkness already present before his arrival. Its capital is Tophet, seat of the Dark Lord himself.

## Locations

### Regions

* **Dorin** - A place commonly used for training
* **Felua** - An arid plateau at the heart of the dark lands, where most of the armies await their master's command
* **Gamale** - A frozen plain subject to continuous fallout
* **Ogog** - A deep and depressed valley, traversed by large armies in times of war

### Structures

* **Arcanus Headquarters** - Home of the Arcanus including Annabeth Black, commander of Tsala's armies and Mr. Stupid NoHead's second-in-command
* **Cymoon** - A prominent hold for robots on the slopes above Ogog
* **Dark Barrier** - The most fortified, direct entrance into the realm of the Dark Lord
* **Tophet** - The Dark Lord's primary stronghold in Tsala, serving as his base of operations
* **Pillar of Eden's Cleft** - A fortress in eastern Tsala that guards the pass of Eden's Cleft

## Description

The binary glaciers surrounding the domain of Mr. Stupid NoHead created a natural fortress against his enemies. In the southeast corner of Tsala the deep and depressed valley of Ogog, traversed by large armies of the NoHeads in times of war, with numerous soldiers and forges; and as one of the few entrances for large armies, it is where Mr. Stupid NoHead built the Dark Barrier of Tsala, set in an impregnable black stone and iron wall that had but a single gate set into its length and was patrolled unceasingly, with hundreds of robot holes on either side in which lurked thousands of robots ready to attack. On either side were the two Towers of Scrutinization doubly overlooking a large chamber in Tophet and connecting one of the fortress' corridors via a winding bridge. A staircase leads from the ground level of both towers to the dungeon level of the towers. The Roman forces attempted to gain high ground on NoHead forces by scaling these towers during the Battle of Tsala. Although they died trying, the Towers of Scrutinization were heavily damaged during the course of the battle, with parts of the floor falling in, revealing the corridors below. In front of the Dark Barrier lay the Dorin or the *War Plain*, a place commonly used for training, bereft of life and beauty. The training was fear-based, dark and abusive in nature, standing in contrast to the MBH in the United States of America. Mr. Stupid NoHead's main fortress of Tophet was at the foothills of a great glacier-like hill of ice, concealed by a cloaking device.

To the southwest of Tophet lay the arid plateau of Felua, at the heart of the dark lands of Tsala, where most of the NoHead armies lay in wait for their master's command. Felua was perpetually covered in sinister ice and had no plant growth whatsoever, making the plateau arid with extreme climates, considered to be uninhabitable by Humans or perhaps by anything else living. To the west lay the frozen plain of Gamale. Consisting of landing platforms, spacious chambers, a conference room, and more, the Arcanus Headquarters became the home of the Arcanus, the inner circle tasked with delicately clandestine operations, and was renamed accordingly, and was thereafter a great stronghold of evil. Its aforementioned meeting room extended partway under the wells of red juices, giving the light in the room a scarlet tinge. It also had a table in the middle of the room and was guarded by four robot soldiers. In the detention level, captured non-adherents were kept for interrogation, torture, and experimentation. Prisoners remained confined here until they met their abominable fate. Guarded by a complex network of bridges, wings, portals, and gates, with even the entire chamber being subject to flooding to prevent escape, it was located in the upland valley known as the Arcanus Adieu, a well-guarded valley overlooking a spacious region and controlled the only passes through the hills that led into Tsala.

To escape the vigilance of the Arcanus, to enter Tsala one would still have to get past the Pillar of Eden's Cleft, which contained six tiers, each set back from the last. At the top of the tower is a tall round turret overlooking the pass. A high, outer wall surrounds the bottom tier, and forms an overhanging parapet to prevent enemies from climbing over. A road ran from the pass of Eden's Cleft to the tower, with the fortress to the south and a sheer precipice to the north. In the northwestern side of the outer wall was the main gate, guarded by two hideous statues on each side, called Observants. Also on the northwestern wall of the lowest tier of the tower itself was the gateway leading inside. A hallway with rooms branching off traveled back through the building to a spiral staircase leading up through the tower, opening up onto the roof of the sixth tier, which contains the Wells of Plasma, which serve an ultimately enigmatic purpose within the hellish domain. On the eastern side of the roof is the round turret. A winding staircase goes up to a passageway running across the turret. Above the passage is a trapdoor leading to a room in the very top of the tower. The fortress is associated with the Towers of Scrutinization at the Dark Barrier.

Tsala's geography was excellent for defense against enemies attacking on all fronts, for the broken, jagged land of Felua would greatly impede any army that managed to break through. Tsala's dry and blasted geography would also be extremely unfriendly to any army bivouacked on the plains, forcing a withdrawal within days (unless they have stores sufficient for months).

As the realm's capital, Tophet was the greatest fortress of its time. The Chamber of Fire was presumably used to generate heat throughout the otherwise ice-cold complex. Most of its content is unkown, and yet the central interrogation chamber was a torture room where non-conformists underwent a menacing procedure to transform them into Arcanus. The room was designed by the Dark Lord himself to psychologically and physically drain a prisoner's will, forcing them to acquiesce to the evil indoctrination of the Arcanus and the darkness.

## History

### Origins

 File:Constructing-a-fortress.png
Tsala was a relic of the devastating works of Mr. Stupid NoHead. In the late 1980s, Tophet was constructed by his own hand by channeling hordes of construction materials out of wormholes on the base of the frozen desert. He would eventually put a cloaking device on it, rendering it invisible. It was the greatest fortress of its age. For years, it would remain as the center of his power. He also constructed a mighty rampart, to protect and guard the southern entrance into Tsala and to prevent invasion. The Dark Barrier became a monument of dread, evil, and awe to anyone who saw the gateway. After this time, Mr. Stupid NoHead was known as the Dark Lord of Tsala.

### Dominion of the Dark Lord

Tsala was too strong to be captured by any military might that was available in the Eight Worlds, and for many years, Mr. Stupid NoHead ruled uninterruptedly. However, Felua reportedly became desolate during Lily Elazar's War. The Arcanus began inhabiting the abandoned fortresses and claiming them for their own uses, which involved incarcerating and torturing non-conformists until they broke. In 2026, numerous wolves were brought to Tsala and imprisoned under the wells of Tophet in a vast underground chamber. By sheer chance, the second apprentice of Merlin entered Tophet to investigate the evil force within. He briefly battled RC-4 before briefly seeing Mr. Stupid NoHead, and fled.

 File:NoHead2.jpg
When Mr. Stupid NoHead lost his physical form in 2029, Hell Burnbottom, now at Yellowstone, told Brute Gunray and Mean King of a regenerative serum that could bring back their father. The three of them successfully created it. Now alive within a temporary and imperfect vessel ultimately insufficient to contain his impossibly malevolent spirit, the Dark Lord brought his sons back to Tsala and showed his sons around Tophet before getting to work on a death machine to use in the final stages of his plan to destroy and reform the entire cosmos. As he gathered all his forces to Tsala and united the great garrisons and forges of war, Mr. Stupid NoHead concurrently plotted his revenge on S.M.S.B. Grandmaster Baby Intelligence. Meanwhile, Merlin's apprentice eventually encountered Baby Intelligence and told him what he saw.

### Battle of Tsala

The Dark Barrier was the site of the climactic midtro of the Second NoHead War. In January 2030, the Italian Armed Forces commanded by President Sergio Matarella arrived at the Dark Barrier and challenged the forces of Tsala. Cymoon sent out robot-forces to march to Ogog. Baby Intelligence had brought an orphan baby named Lindsay Kellerman and they courageously pursued the Dark Lord, who tossed a wagon at his opponent, pushing Baby Intelligence out the windows of the Pillar of Eden's Cleft and into a trap. Kellerman and Force Baby both followed him down. Clinging to the wagon, Baby Intelligence fell through a vat of mysterious red juices untouched by the cascading obsidian, fire, and ice, with the other members close behind. Soon, hungry wolves enhanced by the fabled Klonham crystal attacked, but the other members helped Intelligence fight off the wolves.

However, one of the wolves accidentally directed the wagon toward a waterfall leading into a fire pit situated hundreds of feet below the overarching blanket of ice. Kellerman wheeled around and made Baby Intelligence disappear from his predicament. Then she made all four babies disappear into the very heart of Tophet itself. Upon arriving, the babies located a machine Mr. Stupid NoHead had created. Baby Intelligence spoke in a foreign language in order to destroy it; the explosion caused Mr. Stupid NoHead to learn the S.M.S.B. had returned from the abyss. He soundly overpowered Baby Intelligence, who called on the interference of Merlin's second apprentice. Thinking he had them cornered, Mr. Stupid NoHead manifested before them, prompting Baby Intelligence and Lindsay Kellerman to take on a terrifying singular image. While the three battled, Kellerman ignored NoHead's invitations to join him. Eventually, by their efforts, Mr. Stupid NoHead was blasted into the fire. Meanwhile, the Romans were nearly able to garrison the Towers of Scrutinization, which were built on either side of the wall and were tall enough to overlook it, only for a swarm of Ugbots to cut them off at the last second. After the battle ended, peace seemed imminent.

Over the next month, the dark presence of Tsala waned to a certain degree without the Dark Lord or his followers infesting it, yet leaving an disconcerting aura that would not soon be undone. Hoping to find the culprit responsible for sabotaging Rocken Role, Baby Intelligence and the other members flew the Pinewood Derby to Tsala. Once he approached the mid-levels of the Pillar of Eden's Cleft, Baby Intelligence was shocked to see no lights or sense of activity inside. He went inside solo and disappeared through the door. While he was inside, Baby Intelligence found a relatively large GPS and brought it outside to the car. He held the GPS in front of Lindsay Kellerman, and hit a button on it. It zoomed in toward Wyoming, then toward Yellowstone. An arrow on the same screen marked “NoHead base” pointed to a circle there.

## Behind the scenes

In his writings, D. Isaac Thomas describes little of Tophet besides its terror and surreal size. Although the Dorin (originally drafted as the "Fighting Room") was in *What if Talented Mutant Babies Fought Crime?*, a booklet designing *The Super Babies: Pride of the Super Babies,* it did not appear in the actual book. Until late 2016, the uses for it were unclear, as it was not explored.

## References

1. ↑ *Superquack*
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 *Sebiscuits: Apocalypse*
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 *The Super Babies: Pride of the Super Babies*
4. ↑ *Before The SMSB: The Legacy of Sheriff Bladepoint*
5. ↑ *The Marauder*
6. ↑ *Band of Justice: Omniverse*
7. ↑ *The Super Babies: The Blabberish Singer*

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