Mean Girl Buries You Alive

Himedere Neighbour is tasked with burying the listener.

## Transcript

Oh, for God's sake. Oh, you weren't supposed to wake up, oh my God. This is so like, awkward or something. Yeah, don't struggle or whatever, just go back to sleep or unconsciousness, yeah? Like, please? I said please! Hello, were you listening? Yeah, you're six foot in the ground. Don't cry about it, Jesus.

I've had wilder Friday nights than this. Yeah. You should really get out and live a little more. Oh, I mean I guess you should have. Yeah. Stay still, all the dirt will fall off of you and we'll be here all night. Oh my God, shut up and lie in the hole. Look I usually don't have to do this kind of thing, someone else handles it. I'm doing a favor for a friend.

Yeah whatever, I'm sure you're really nice that's so good, but I have to sacrifice my Swarovski Crystal manicure to use this ugly farmer equipment to bury you now. Yeah, I'm not exactly having the time of my life either so can we just get this over and done with? Yeah I can't go any faster. I missed my pilates class this week because I thought my biceps were looking like- I don't know like, too strong?

I don't know like I want to be toned but I don't want to be hench. It's just not me. Yeah. So this is probably going to make me too strong so thanks a lot for that. I am getting mud on my ??? this is like really not the fun villainous vibe I was hoping for. Yeah, no sorry it has to be burial alive. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I've been told to do. I said like can't we like do something maybe I don't know like less hazardous to my patent heels, but apparently not? Yeah, I love my friend but she has no respect for fashion after hours. This week just keeps getting worse and worse.

What's wrong? You're asking me what's wrong? So basically, I was seeing this guy, yeah. Like it wasn't super serious but it was like we were dating vibes, you know? Shut up. You don't know exactly what I mean. You can never understand what I have been through with this guy I've gone on like two dates with. Apology accepted.

So, you're a man. He hasn't called me back in a week. What do you think that means? Like, would you ever do that to a girl? Right? Like, he doesn't know what he's missing. I'm so glad we can agree on this. What's your name again? Hmm? Nice to meet you. So I said to him "look, if you're serious about us I really need you to be getting into this servitude thing a bit more" he was like "oh my God, my education I have entrance exams and shit" like exams are basically forever me the option to date me isn't forever, am I right?

I know I'm like, I'm like honestly so surprised you're getting this. Hmm? Scorpio? You know what? I didn't ask a star sign yet actually. Oh my God I know what was I thinking? I was too busy like taking him shopping and then like helping him get a job and then like all this other stuff like I'm really a very supportive girlfriend. Or at least I could have been. Hmm? Oh thank you, and it means a lot that somebody recognizes my efforts.

I think I'm going to take a little break so my arms don't explode. Yeah. I'm just going to sit on the ledge. The dry cleaners are going to be so confused when they see the state of this skirt. Hmm. Not everybody sits on the ledge of an open grave in Prada. Hmm. You're so welcome. So anyway, what's your star sign? Oh okay. Yes, we're compatible.

So like, what are your hobbies? Mm-hmm. Oh, okay. No, I don't know what a Splatoon is but it sounds like a really fun water park. Me? Well I like to do elaborate photo shoots of my outfits and stuff. I'm in a band. Yeah I'm in a band. I know I'm not the rock star looking type but I'm pretty much the glue that holds the group together. It's called Shack Palette. I haven't decided what I'm doing in the band yet but I'll figure it out.

Oh my God, stop I know. The moon light loves me and when I sit in the right spot I do look really incredible. You're not the first person to tell me this. You're so lucky you have such a great view of me from down there.

Yeah, yeah. So say, I don't know, like you met like I don't know like a really pretty girl I don't know like who was just spitballing here generous and supportive and whats I deam ethereal, um, would you leave your girlfriend for her? Oh, you don't have a girlfriend? Wow. No, I'm- I'm just surprised you're such a great listener I thought you must have a girlfriend. You're not saying all this to get out of this hole in the ground, are you? That would be really uncool.

Well to be honest, I know I'm supposed to be like burying you right now but I would also be open to going for bubble tea together or something like right now. Yeah. I mean I know my friend wants you dead but she would get over it, right? Yeah, I mean I'm sure if I made her maid of honor at our wedding she would be cool with it.

What was that? Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing it I was just taking a break. I was just taking a break. Yes, ??? okay sorry never mind she has a gun and she looks really upset. I guess like I will come back next week and if your ghost his here then like give me a sign or something and we can like go for Boba yeah! Okay cool, I'll see you next week I guess! {singing}