Episode 141

"*I did a cannonball and the whole neighbourhood flooded.*"
—TJ describes a childhood memory of going swimming with Scotty.
**Episode 141** is an episode of Drunken Peasants. It features Sargon of Akkad as well as a single frame of a barely legal naked ass hidden somewhere in the 3 hour show.

## Highlights

* TJ's rant on the wiki.
* Potential pan legalization in Ohio.
* TJ's white guilt.
* Repzion vs. VeganGains.
* VeganGains threatening to slit Repzion's throat.

## Videos Played

1. Liberals and Children and Guns!
2. In honour of national Orgasm day, here's some tips on how to make your girl orgasm.
3. Is drunk sex rape?
4. Two marijuana issues to be on ballot
5. Say No To ResponsibleOhio
6. Morgan Freeman's granddaughter stabbed to death
7. Vegan Gains says he will kill MrRepzion
8. Dear Kent Hovind (Message from Brett Keane)
9. Debate Predictions Kent Hovind Will Destroy TheAmazingAtheist
10. RWW News: Gays Are Trying To Reimpose Slavery On The South
11. I'm NOT Gay!
12. Fox & Friends debate Alpha Phi
13. TJ explains ancient history at the British museum
14. Ancient Poop Pots at the British Museum

## Start of the Show

The show began with a public announcement with TJ Kirk telling us to get our shit together. Scotty defends the staff and reveals himself to be stoned by attempting such a foolish venture. Watch 4:11 to 6:11 at half speed to find out how stoned Scoopy really was. This is the original unedited altercation that the Illuminati edited to help keep their credibility.

They also explained that because Sargon of Akkad is a dirty foreigner he fucked up the time and would be late to the show. They then went into a video of Wild Bill complaining about public schools in America. He especially finds it sad that young boys aren't learning how to use guns.

The peasants agreed that the schools are fucked up, but obviously not from the same conservative viewpoint. The peasants move on to some bullshit feminist article and Scotty abandons ship... but then a wild Sargon of Akkad appears! They briefly held a circle jerk over disagreeing with SJWs, and then moved back to the article. The article's writer was revealed to be Canterbury McTrembletits with use of Level 9,999,999 run-on sentences.

The article discussed Lenny Bruce, presumably as a reference to someone who could actually write material with a modicum of wit. Sargon promoted some misogynist comedian in the process. Roosh V was also brought up, giving all the fans flashbacks to Jim Ass.

Then Donald Trump was discussed, specifically the likelihood of him becoming the GOP candidate and his amazing reforms on keeping the beaners out to which the peasants added some good ideas. They moved onto Ann Coulter explaining her adoration for Donald Trump after she fondled his mullet and found about his plan to blockade them beaners.

Next was a video by some greasy headed monkey wearing a knock off polo about whether or not drunken sex is rape. He basically said being drunk is an excuse to make shitty decisions. The absolute perfect analogy. TJ then spoke about how Steven Crowder once said he would fuck him up in a UFC fight after TJ challenged him to a debate.

## Middle of the Show

They started talking about Atheist Roo and TJ admitted he once subjugated a young black theater worker by making him bring skittles to him during "Django Unchained" and that he did in fact feel "White Guilt". The peasants watched a news video pertaining to the possible legalization to recreational pan in Ohio. It's being hindered by a bunch of truly responsible 'Muricans explaining how weed shouldn't be legal because, "what if there's a monopoly?". The video then displayed an old hag making the case that the kids would become stoners, because it's otherwise impossible to get it.

Subsequently they played a video from the opposition explaining how they're oh so rational. A man who seemed to be a leper eloquently explained that legalizing something that was on the black market makes the black market more powerful. Such a statement is purely axiomatic and irrefutable.

Soon after, it was explained by the news how some psycho dude stabbed Morgan Freeman's step granddaughter to death in the middle of the street at 3 AM while attempting an exorcism. If this isn't incidentally the strangest sentence in this whole article, we don't know what is. Apparently he was just trying to get the mean demons out, so this excuses everything (including the probable confusion of anyone and everyone reading sentences for the first time).

Then they played a video talking from VeganGains talking about how he'd like to kill MrRepzion and pulled out the knife he'd like to do it with while touting that he is not a sociopath and playing a game about killing people. What a class fucking act. Vegan Gains continues to admirably and elegantly prove how totally not crazy he really is.

They then discussed the Beast. Scotty learned about his recent charges for the first time on the show. Ben refused to comment until the Beast was successfully charged.

They then played two Brett Keane video's where where Brett pronounced Hovind, Hoe-vind.

## End of the Show

To kick off the show's finale, they featured a video from the most effeminate black man on planet earth explaining how the word "gay" is a piece of white supremacist jargon. He gave us a lovely earsonomy complete with nauseating attitudinal gesturing.

Tiring of this almost as quickly as possible, they moved to FOX News covering an extraordinarily offensive online video. Professor Emeritus of Anthropology at MIT TJ Kirk then took center stage in the lecture hall and gave us all a brilliant explanation of British artifacts in the British Museum and London.

After this they brought T-Shirt Guy guy on to interrogate Sargon's indolent ass about his video game he's developing. TJ gave his valuable dose of input as always explaining his dream game of Dildo Entrepreneur, but Sargon rejected this pointing out that is was in fact a saturated market. TJ then proposed the alternative that they start the Chinese Dildo Market for the game instead. Finally they explained how YouTube is completely and utterly beneath them and that Scotty, in fact, is not funny. Thus ended the show, and the world as we know it.

## Quotes

* *"Love us all."* - The Peasants becoming the hippie version of the Borg.
* *"When we're not doing the show we're just trying to murder each other."* - Ben describing the horrific anarchy that ensues after the show.
* *"In that moment I was the best, the best there ever was."* - TJ Kirk, basking in his narcissistic glory.
* *"What we need today is real gun education."* - Wild Bill for America being conscientious about American education.
* *"Alright son, we're gonna go into the woods and I'm gonna teach you how to shoot."* - TJ Kirk being a suggestive pedophile.
* *"Yeah, man, I don't wanna come home one day and find some [British] soldiers playing with my Xbox."* - TJ Kirk defending his third amendment rights.
* *"I protected his freedom by being a proponent of the third amendment."* - Scoopy being a real American.
* *"She's not a whale, she's JAWS! DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN."* - Scotty describing sex with Monica.
* *"Mr. President we need the nuclear launch codes! But first drink this Johnny Walker Black! This is too much responsibility for a sober man!"* - TJ revealing his impressive knowledge of alcohol customs in warfare.
* *"I mean, I skinned your cat baby, but I was drunk."* - TJ revealing yet another epoch of his dark, booze-laden past.
* *"It's not that he's a bad-looking guy, it's just personality problems."* - Sargon discussing his post-intercourse regrets about Roosh V.
* *"*I*t's getting crowdered up in this drunken pussy"* - TJ when they were discussing Steven Crowder.
* *"I wouldn't stand a chance in the ring against that bitch, she's real old and vigorous now."* - TJ quivering in fear of Queen Elizabeth II.
* *"I ain't votin' for no sand nigger"* - TJ giving his honest opinion on Bobby Jindal
* *"\*Snort\*"* - Brett Keane speaking as eloquently as possible.
* *''Kent Hoevine'''- Brett Spleen pronouncing Kent Hovind's name wrong.*
* *''Hell naw I ain't gay''- Same gender lovin' black man.*
* *"Excuse me sir, do you know you're actually anti-black?"* - Sargon at a pride parade.
* *"They should be naked in the kitchen making me a sandwich, and accepting my rape seed."* - TJ explaining what he felt Holly should have done to save their marriage.
* *“Yeah, Canada has not set the bar high, ya know? You got this buddy! I hope you’re better at mass shootings than you are at this game.”* - TJ
* *“I believe in you VeganGains! I think you can do that. A very, very sound massacre especially for camp Canadian standards. I believe in you man! You can do this!” -* Sargon
* *“Yeah, Canada has not set the bar high, ya know? You got this buddy! I hope you’re better at mass shootings than you are at this game.” -* TJ
* "*I see like a street vendor, like an old Chinese lady selling dildos, when you say Chinese Dildo Market." - TJ*
* "*Ohh you love this dildo, it tear you up inside ohh, it rip you apart, you feel you get fucked by horse!" -TJ imitating the Old Chinese Lady*
* "*I'm sorry to all Chinese people*." - TJ
* "*My 3 Chinese fans are angry with you TJ.*" - Scotty

## Trivia

* TJ wants to give automatic amnesty to any immigrant who helps build The Great Wall of Merica'.
* It was revealed this episode that TJ has a bad case of the aids.
* Any Mongolians living in China are illegal aliens. Like those damn Mexicans.
* Sargon admitted that if drunk he would fuck the shit out of Roosh V.
* Sargon is on top in his gay marriage to Steven Crowder.
* Vegan Gains proved even more that Canadians are fucking scum by filming his dying grandfather.
* Sargon believes in Vegan Gains and knows that he can succeed in the first great Canadian mass shooting.
* ~~Necromancer~~ Chinese Dildo Market is the name of Sargon of Akkad's new game, which can be found here.
* Every one who knows TJ hates him.
* TJ asked to see the American menu at a restaurant in Europe. #TJisarealAmerican

 Episodes
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