Baby Einstein VHS

**P.S. If you're a hardcore Baby Einstein fan, DON'T READ!**

I'm a huge fan of Baby Einstein, something I've watched it since I was little. One clear day in early spring of 2020 (this was the start of the pandemic), a friend of mine emailed me this video, saying that it was a Baby Einstein video given out at the end of 2003 to only select people, and he was able to find a copy. I was about to watch a video I've never seen before, and presumed that it would be interesting.

The video started with the warning screen narrated by Julie Aigner-Clark. Weird - I thought that had stopped being used in 2002. It was normal, but what was next was a little ... off, to say the least. The intro, complete with the title cards, began to play to demonic music that I solemnly swear was "Night on Bald Mountain." It included the fox puppet seen in World Animals eating people's exposed brains (like zombies), the duck puppet (seen in Baby Van Gogh and Neighborhood Animals)'s eyes coming off, Baby Bach the Rabbit ripping off a little boy's skin, and Bard the Dragon tearing apart and then eating the head of a stuffed monkey. The music was then back to normal.

This was followed by several scenes from previous videos with creepy twists. Let me tell you the ones that I can remember:

* Bear in the Box (from Language Nursery) - The bear says "Everybody dies!" and the like rather than something like "Hello!"
* Blah! (from Baby Mozart) - After saying "Blah!," Bard says "I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you..." in a sing-songy voice.
* Zylon Dragon (from Baby Bach) - The Zylon Dragon eats the head off of a human baby.
* Frog in the Box (from Baby Shakespeare) - Bard eats the frog's head off.
* Purple poem (from Baby Van Gogh) - Screaming and moaning can be heard in the background. Vivian is also rolling people's organs rather than balls.
* Mice in the Box (from Baby Santa's Music Box) - Misty hits the mice with a mallet and they are left to die a slow, painful death.
* Food fight (from Neighborhood Animals) - Violet finds Misty and her clone dead on the floor.
* Giraffe cone puppet (from World Animals) - The giraffe eats three kids alive.
* Door puppet show (from Baby Newton) - The other puppets kidnap Greg the Horse.
* Give the Dog a Bone (from Baby Beethoven) - Constantine the Duck ties Pavlov the Dog up in a sawmill.
* Orange fish finger puppet (from Baby Neptune) - The fish has black eyes and an image of fire serves as the backdrop. The fish can be heard screaming as it (he?) dashes away from the screen.
* Hey Diddle Diddle (from Baby Galileo) - Gabba the Cow can be seen with metal jaws in his mouth, scaring Galileo away.
* 4 Poem (from Numbers Nursery) - Lizzy the Tiger, Pavlov the Dog, Gabba the Cow, and Greg the Horse make demonic laughs and later Bard's "Blah!" sound after sticking out their tongues.
* Stinger puppet show (from Baby MacDonald) - Instead of vaccumming, MacDonald blows up the barn behind him, causing Nathan the Horse to run away panicking.

Years passed, and I asked everyone on a certain website if they could remember it. Only one person replied, and that someone sent me a picture of the tape (the one you see above). I still love Baby Einstein, but I will never look at it the same way again!