RQG B1 The Yeti's Claw

## Content Warnings

Homophobic insults, physical violence/combat, temporary paralysis

## Summary

After receiving a letter, Bertie abandons the party for an inn in Albertville, causes a bar fight, and makes a few acquaintances.

## Synopsis

Minor flashback: after leaving the party, Bertie heads back to Le Triomphe to receive a letter upon arrival with several addresses on it with his name across the top:

~~Oldbotham~~

~~Exclusive Knights Bridge Flat~~

~~Dover Hotel~~

~~C'est~~

Le Triomphe

A very polite letter is enclosed from one Tjelvar Stornsnasson, "archaeologist and adventurer," requesting assistance in finding the lost tomb of Hannibal, following in the footsteps of Bertie's ancestor, Sir Everard MacGuffingham. He claims glory and riches will be involved from finding an important relic, which settles Bertie. He invites Bertie to The Yeti's Claw in Albertville if he is interested. Bertie hops the train to Lyon, the first leg to Albertville, ignoring his comrades in the process.

The tomb is thought to be a myth and, while Sir Everard may have discovered many things, this was never one that was told of. But during the ride, Bertie recalls a poem he had to memorize as a child:

> Stalwartly, to ancient lands he strode, stout limbed and mind fixed on fortune
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> Glory of Falcon House he sought out, known he was for noble venture
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> Sages warned against seeking generals tomb, smiling, he poured scorn on question
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> Of danger or curse endurance vile, feeble fears was his conjecture
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> Through Punic sands and time did he roar, empty vales, fruitless orchard roots
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> Vexatious searches of foreign shores, tempests snapped and mute men raised disputes
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> Arrogant dispersions cast by all, casting paths ahead with sorrow
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> His story now rests in peace unsought, for pride can saving grace outgrow
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> ~Finch, Everard MacGuffingham's Squire
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Upon arriving in Lyon, he catches the stage coach to Chambéry, where he buys "the finest" horse with typical terrible English entitlement, names it Msr. Horse, and heads east toward Albertville.

Albertville is very cold and snowy when he arrives, so the streets are fairly empty, but some random shouting gets him pointed in the right direction where he meets Tjelvar Stornsnasson at a table with papers, mostly maps of various makers, piled all over. They grab a drink as they exchange initial introductions and niceties, from Tjelvar at least. Bertie eventually gets around to telling Tjelvar about the poem.

During this conversion, Bertie has not been at all quiet or humble, drawing the ire of the room. A large, barbarian-looking man makes his way over to place his hand on Bertie's shoulder. Tjelvar tries to mediate the situation before the man says anything, but Bertie immediately insults his appearance. The man begins laughing. Turns out he had read Wilde's article and had come over to give Bertie a hard time. Bertie stands and stares him down, but the man doesn't take the hint. After another jab, Bertie tries to headbutt him in the face, but the man is too tall to harm.

The man reddens and draws his sword to take a swing at Bertie while Tjelvar tries to scramble between the two and prevent an all-out brawl by offering more alcohol. The man barely reacts, his whole focus on Bertie.

The ruckus draws attention from the other side of the tavern.

Bertie dodges Tjelvar and rushes him, sword drawn. In his anger, he whiffs it, nicking a table. Most of the tavern ignores the squabble, but two men stand up from a table across the room; one taller than the other. They both have sun emblems on their armor, but the one in a breast plate shines a little unnaturally as he throws off his cloak and points an equally shiny morning star across the room at Bertie, yelling "Evildoer!"

While the Barbarian attacks and taunts Bertie, Tjelvar scoffs at the man that Bertie's not evil, that it's only a bar brawl, and requests aid. He then grabs a broken vase off the floor and tries to smack the sword from the barbarian's hand with it, to no effect. Bertie, however, manages to get a hit in. The barbarian crashes into the table, spilling drinks and scattering Tjelvar's papers. He bounces back immediately for more, but the shiny stranger makes his way up to the barbarian and knocks him on the head with his morning star while his less shiny companion casts a spell, freezing him in mid-rise. Tjelvar disarms him by slipping the grip from his stiff, frozen fingers.

Seeing the man is incapacitated, Bertie doesn't take the killing blow, but only kicks him. The shiny stranger doesn't approve of this and throws his morning star at Bertie unsuccessfully, as it clinks off Bertie's helmet. Tjelvar realizes his work has been damaged and tries to get them to stop, and it all comes to a head with another spell freezing Bertie as well, as the tall stranger requests calm.

## Quotes

**Bryn**: "I will be hosting and GM’ing today."
**Alex**: "Oh, no one, no one told…"
**Bryn**: "When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you, Alex."
**Alex**: "You will do well, you will do well."
―Player introductions.

**Bryn**: "Hamid running after the train, reaching out to his friend."
**Ben**: "And if you play back the recording you can hear the exact moment that his heart breaks."
―Hamid reacts to Bertie leaving the party.

"You have wonderful handwriting, by the way, at *times* almost *new roman*."
―**Bertie, to Tjelvar**

**Tjelvar**: "He's not an evildoer, you nincompoop; it's a bar brawl! Help me stop it!"
**Alex**: "There's a moment's hesitation; look left, look right."
**Ed**: "ALL EVILDOERS!!"
―Ed tries to stop a bar brawl.

## Dice Rolls and Mechanics

Bertie makes a perception check to find a horse: 8, takes a while

Bertie makes a Ride check, ignoring armor penalty, to find the horse: 17, finds two good horses

Bertie makes a handle animal check: 22, makes friends with the horse

Bertie makes a perception check at the inn: 5

Bertie and Tjelvar make a perception check to read the irritation in the room: Bertie gets 4, Tjelvar gets 20

Bertie makes an attack roll to head butt: 12

## Combat Breakdown

**Initiative:** Barbarian, Tjelvar (20), Bertie (18), Ed (15), Friedrich

**Round 1**

* Barbarian: Activates Rage as a free action and draws a large sword from his back.
* Tjelvar: Moves between the two, tries to deescalate but fails with a diplomacy check of 22.
* Bertie: 5-foot-steps around Tjelvar, power-attacks the barbarian with his Bastard Sword and takes -3 attack for +6 damage. Misses with a roll of 12 (7+5).
[*Editor's note: At this level Bertie can technically only trade -1 attack for +2 damage.*]
* Edward: Stands, throws off his cloak, draws his morningstar, and yells at Bertie.

**Round 2**

Barbarian: Swings at Bertie, misses with a 16.

Tjelvar: Makes a disarm attempt against the barbarian with a broken vase, fails with a 6.

Bertie: Rolls a 21 (13 + 8), for a standard attack, does 6 (1d10 + 4) damage.

Edward: Moves to the party, rolls a 16 (8 + 8) attack, and deals 7 (1d8 + 4) non-lethal damage to the barbarian's head.

Friedrich: Casts a spell (presumably Hold Person), freezing the barbarian.

**Round 3**

Barbarian: Remains frozen.

Tjelvar: Rolls a 15 strength check to successfully disarm the frozen man.

Bertie: Kicks the barbarian in the crotch with an 8, unarmed attack. The barbarian having no AC since he's frozen, takes 4 (1d6 + 3) damage.

Edward: Fails to hit Bertie with a 20 because he's taking non-lethal penalties.

Friedrich: Casts a spell, Bertie fails the will save with a 9, he is frozen.