Acting Constables

Dave teases Bob in the make up room

## Plot

Louis and Briggs take centre stage when they join the cast and crew of a TV drama as technical advisers. Intoxicated by a whiff of the greasepaint they fail to notice the real-life drama being acted out behind the scenes. Guest starring Anthony Head.

## Goofs

### Anachronisms

* Louis claims that he never has had any make-up on and Briggs reminds him of the "Christmas fancy-dress" party in 1979, when he was Jabba the Hutt and Louis was Princess Leila (he probably got the name wrong). The infamous scene between Jabba the Hutt and princess Leia didn't appear until 1983 in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, four years after the Christmas party.

## Quotes

* **Dave Briggs:** We can't let Derek down, Bob, he needs our help.
**Bob Louis:** That's not what he said.
**Dave Briggs:** Not in as many words.
**Bob Louis:** "Piss off, you pair of tosspots." Is what he actually said.
**Dave Briggs:** He was just being theatrical, these people are highly strung.
* **Simon:** You know, for one delicious moment, I thought you were going to be a widow there, Jane. Go on, admit it, you had your fingers crossed. Just two tablets away from perfect happiness. And a half decent T.V. series.
* **Dave Briggs:** Must be off to learn my lines.
**Simon:** Lines? Didn't think you had any lines.
**Dave Briggs:** Thought I just make some up, have something to say while I'm standing in the background. You know, the rhythm method.
**Simon:** Method acting.
* **Viking:** I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, it's your first time. I mean, I remember my first appearance. I was supposed to be a vicious SS officer in Colditz. All I had to do was walk across the courtyard, look up and shout "Gott in Himmel!" Could I get it right? I kept shouting, then looking up. The director said it was like a bird had pooed on my head. Oh, I was wrecked at the end of it, they cut the scene anyway. Another drink?
**Bob Louis:** Pint.
**Dave Briggs:** Campari and Soda, luvvie.

## Connections

### References

* Vision On (1965) (TV Series): A character mentions having a speaking part on the show.
* Sesame Street (1969) (TV Series) : A background character is dressed as Big Bird.
* Colditz (1972) (TV Series): A character discusses his time as an extra on the show.
* The Professionals (1977) (TV Series): Derek refers to the detectives by the main characters names of the show, in a derisive manner.
* Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983): An anachronistic reference is made when Briggs mentions the time he and Louis went to a fancy dress party as Jabba and Leia respectively, in 1979.

### Features

* Blue Peter (1958) (TV Series): During the climax, the leads run past a door where the show is being filmed with a sign outside.
* Noel's House Party (1991) (TV Series) : The final scene takes place on the set with the host making a cameo appearance.

## Cast

* Eddie Webber as Bank Robber
* Anthony Head as Simon
* Robert Powell as Dave Briggs
* Jasper Carrott as Bob Louis
* Peter Jeffrey as Derek
* Ruth Hudson as Jane
* Clive Darby as Assistant Director
* Caroline O'Neill as Production Assistant
* Alan Bodenham as Big Bird
* George Sewell as Superintendent Cottam
* Sion Tudor Owen as Terry
* Jimmy Batten as Gangster
* Harold Innocent as Viking
* Michael Simkins as Doctor
* Noel Edmonds as Himself
* Simon Collins as Actor (uncredited)

## Crew

* Directed by Ed Bye
* Written by Steven Knight and Mike Whitehill
* Produced by Ed Bye (Producer), Nic Phillips (Executive Producer) and Paul Smith (Executive Producer)
* Music by Keith Strachan and Matthew Strachan
* Cinematography by Barry Noakes
* Film Editing by Graham Hutchings
* Casting by Susie Parriss
* Production Design by Andy Hamilton
* Costume Design by Rebecca Allen
* Make Up Design: Jenny Sharpe
* Additional Make Up: Sue Ayling and C.J. Wills
* Production Managers: Barry Read and Steve Springford
* First Assistant Director: Guy Frazer-Jones
* Second Assistant Director: Kerry Waddell
* Property Master: John Dashfield
* Scenic Construction: Ian Bee and John Drury
* Production Buyer: Bill Richardson
* Dubbing Editors / Mixers: Nick Berry and David Hamilton-Smith
* Boom Operators: John Chandler and Clive Copland
* Sound Recordist: Nigel Davis
* Visual Effects: Peter Wragg
* Focus Puller: Edward Ames
* Gaffer: John Barker
* Grips: Richard Broome and Stuart Godfrey
* Camera Operator: David Bryant
* Electricians: Ron Herschman and Bob King
* Costume Assistants: Alleyne Kirby Davies (Credited as ***Alleyne Kirby-Davis***) and Lindsay May Sanderson (Credited as ***Linda May Sanderson***)
* Production Secretaries: Rina Konstantinou and Jan Lock
* Production Co-Ordinator: Pauline McIntosh

## Notes

1. ↑ Bob's Met Police File, shown in the Minisode intro, states that one of his childhood drawings was featured on the programme.