S05E03 - Pen15 Pals

## Pen15 Pals

His Harry(et) ever going to start caring who (s)he is sleeping with? As long as orgasms are in the cards, nope. Image by the amazing Potterotic Dave.

## Previous and Next

### Next

Horny Holiday Sing-along

In this episode we read chapter four, chapter five, and starts on chapter six of "Zeroing In" by trylsora

## Episode Summary

Draco/Dana and Harry/Harriet explore each other's literally changing bodies and Harry continues to prioritize orgasms over understanding his medical condition.

## Notable Moments

* The hosts discuss the preponderance of Ron Bashing within the fanfic community and formulate a new pro-Ron fanbase coined "The Ronlings". The hosts vow to use their branding expertise to rebrand Ron.
	+ Ron Defense League proposed to defend ALL Rons.
* Allie teases a potential host written fic in the future...
* Allie wonders whether the blindfold is yet another cameo of the black cloth from season 2.
* Lyndsay jokes that one of the possible rules of zerophilia is that your sex changes, but your laugh stays the same.
* Lyndsay can't resist joking that it's an AirBonB (boy on boy) just *slightly* after the time for the joke passes.
* Gasping Lyndsay
* Doritos flavoured hair
* Nipple to breast ratio
* The hosts wonder why Harry doesn't use any of his vault worth of gold to buy a decent wardrobe.
* Word of the day: turgid (swollen and distended or congested.)
* Harry bound to the couch (Plughorn holding him down?)
* Dense Harry jokes
* Poor Harry never got anything to eat.
* Equal ball play!
* Hosts try their hand at foley work (creating sound effects for Harry's penis turning into a verginer, time transitions in the story)
* Allie and Lyndsay possibly alienate listeners by ripping into Big Bang Theory. Danny stays out of it.
* Possible decorations on Ron's broom: A naked lady, Calvin & Hobbes pissing, a "Gone Fishin'" sticker
* Harry spills out his soul and may need therapy.
* "My LIFE is a horror film." ~ Lyndsay
* "I assume that if I don't see your underwear, you're wearing pink lady underwear." ~ Danny
* Lyndsay reveals her teenage narcissism and the hosts reminisce over AIM IDs of their past and stalking their exes.
* Harry could probably play 20 questions and whittle down to Dana's true identity, but doesn't. Continued use of hotels also doesn't raise any red flags for him.
* Lyndsay dating tip: If your date proclaims a love for horror films and then wants to tie you up in a hotel room, DANGER!
* The rules of zerophilia continue to raise questions.
* Full Wango = Sirius Blackout

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Up for the sex scenes. Loved the blindfold and being strapped to Plughorn.
* Fears heartbreak is on the horizon.

Lyndsay: Up

* Harry on a date is sweet
* Continuing deceptions is slightly down

Danny: Up

* Up for both sex scenes
* Down for letter writing. Fuck letters. But liked the boss letter as a plot device

## Potterotics Shout Out

* Emily Porter mentioned for her image creations (Draco with a bad wig on)
* Mitchell for proposing the Sirius Blackout name for a full Wango board.
* Potterotic that selected @WontonWitch as their twitter handle
* Breeann (originally credited as "someone" but later identified in the FB group), who suggested the DrAllie and Rushley story that Allie has promise to write.