TRP: Aleksei, Hansel, and Mishka (Lynchpin)

[Setting: Alabaster. After a long day of fucking around and committing crimes, Mishka goes to hang out with Hansel.]

He couldn’t find Hansel anywhere. He figured Hansel was out committing some crime with Raef, or Goro, or Roddy— could be any of them, really.

Thinking about Hansel committing crimes in Alabaster for him made him itch. Hansel was a half-orc underneath that mask, and the local guard would gut him if they found that out. Would gut him, too, if they found out his association with Mishka.

He was probably with Goro, Mishka reminded himself. That thought settled him. Still, it’d been a few hours, and Mishka wanted his husband. So he searched a while, and he eventually found Hansel at the inn— a small but refined establishment just outside the city, past the gates. Hansel was in the orchard there, reading a book, his trident right next to him.

Mishka paused, not calling out. He glanced up at the tree Hansel was under. Silently, he toed his boots off, then crept silently through the grass and up the tree, intending to drop down on Hansel.

IZZY

Hansel heard someone coming up behind him, and stiffened for a moment, because fucking Alabaster -- but frankly, if someone from Alabaster was coming for him, they probably wouldn't fuckin' sneak. Nah, was probably some jackass from his family trying to surprise him.

He was betting Mishka. Seemed like some Mishka shit.

So he kept his grin to himself and pretended to keep reading, clearing his throat and shifting subtly so his lap would be more welcoming to drop into. Had his back to the tree, so he figured that was gonna be the preferred point of attack. God, he might not survive, as well. Fuckin' awful fate.

COYOTE

Hah. Hansel had pretty good ears and eyes-- hyper-vigilant, that one-- but apparently he didn't hear Mishka. Mishka was gonna scare the shit out of him. It was gonna be great. Then Mishka would get to sit in his lap and listen to his pounding heart, and get to coo and pet him and calm him down while Hansel scowled and grumbled.

Yes. This was a good plan.

Well. Unless Hansel stabbed him or something. Mishka eyed the trident, decided it was far enough away Hansel would realize it was him before he grabbed it, weighed the risk, and decided, eh, it was fine.

He vaulted over the tree limb and dropped into Hansel's lap, which was conveniently wide open.

IZZY

Hansel oof'd and grinned down at him.

"Oh, no," he deadpanned. "Terror of the Calish Seas fuckin' got me. Help."

COYOTE

Mishka scoffed and squirmed out of his lap. "Give me another go. Wait fifteen minutes, I'll get you next time."

IZZY

"Yeah, okay. I'll close my eyes and hum a little tune to make it even, eh?" Hansel noted his page number and set his book down to wrap Mishka up, scratching his face with his beard to cuddle him as aggressively as always, squeezing him tight. "Hmm. Nah. Changed my mind, actually. I got you now."

COYOTE

"Mmm. Just as well. You'd be expecting it." Mishka basked in the attention, clinging to Hansel's back. Not that he had much choice, frankly. He supposed he could crack away, but... frankly, he was pretty low on magic. He only had something like one or two dimension steps left in him, and he'd rather save them for an emergency.

IZZY

"Always expecting you," Hansel murmured, nuzzling against him. "Or just hopin', maybe."

COYOTE

Mishka turned a little pink at that. He made a huffing noise, pleased, and sank down a little in Hansel's arms, pressing his ear against Hansel's chest to hear the thrum of Hansel's heartbeat steady against his skin.

His fingers played on Hansel's arm. "Mm. I was going to invite you to do some crime with me."

IZZY

Hansel made an interested sound. He settled in a little, though, because as appealing as doing some crime with his husband sounded, so did sitting for a minute longer and holding him.

"Suppose I'm all crimed out," he said idly, stroking Mishka's hair and looking up through the branches. "Suppose I'm just lookin' for a pretty elf to entertain me for a bit. Y'know where a man could find one of those?"

COYOTE

"We could certainly go looking." He sighed. Maybe they didn't need to go pull more tricks. Maybe he could go poison Zoya with the potion tomorrow, and that would be it.

Things were... just so fucking good right now. Right here, in this little moment.

IZZY

"Mm." Hansel rolled his neck languidly, closing his eyes a moment and then gazing down at Mishka again. "Aha. Fuckin' found him." He kissed the top of Mishka's head. "Never mind."

COYOTE

"And how shall I entertain you, my lord?"

IZZY

"Hm. Hmm." Hansel tilted his head back and forth like he was thinking real fuckin' hard. He leaned in close to Mishka's ear and whispered, "Crimes."

COYOTE

"Alright, alright." Mishka mused aloud to himself. He'd already used up most of his ideas. He lounged in Hansel's lap, pleasantly exhausted from his long day. "What if we... defile the temple of Corellon by defacing the statue-- no, that might piss the god himself off. What if we... forged letters that looked similar to the letters we stole from the museum, and then pretended to return them, but when examined, they actually contain a coded message telling the reader to fuck off... no, no. Too much time, too little payoff. Hm."

IZZY

"Nah, I like that letter one. Here's what we do -- we write new letters to donate or whatever the fuck, 'cept this time, they're love letters between an Alabaster elf an' an orc. Eh?"

COYOTE

"Ahaha. I love that. Okay, but-- a step farther. What if they're current letters... between the current Minister of War, Abram Abernathy, and an orc."

IZZY

Hansel snorted, approving. "Not sure a museum's interested in current letters, ahuvi. This guy got a wife we could send'em to?"

COYOTE

"He certainly does," Mishka said. The idea of Minister Abernathy getting his own shit turned back around on him amused Mishka. It was karmic. "Neshama, I love the way you think, you know that? So cruel." He touched Hansel's face lightly, then dropped his hand to toy with Hansel's beard.

IZZY

"Mmhm. Only when they fuckin' deserve it." He closed his eyes back, soaking up the affection. Needed to trim his beard. It and the hair were both getting away from him a bit. Scruffy bastard, he was. Eh, maybe he'd just let'em go. Liked getting pet as a cat well enough, after all. \*How bad's this fuckin' guy, anyhow?"

COYOTE

"Y'know how high elves and orcs don't really fight much anymore because they don't really live in the same areas anymore? That's because Abram Abernathy burned them out of the forest about fifty years ago," Mishka said. He toyed with a bracelet on his wrist, suddenly uncomfortable. "He came out with the idea that if we burned villages and attacked non-combatants, they'd leave faster than just killing off the soldiers. It made a lot of sense, I suppose. Ruthless. He pitched it as... more merciful. Getting rid of them faster, and saving us both a longer war."

Mishka shrugged and looked away uncomfortably. "Seems to me he could stand to deal with some karma."

IZZY

Hansel grumbled. "Fuckin' Alabaster."

There was a vicious, petty pleasure in the idea of all the fucker's cohorts and lackeys looking down on him, calling him adver-lese, treating him the worst way they knew how. It wouldn't make anything better, but it'd feel good for a moment.

He squeezed Mishka closer, grateful suddenly, and kissed his head again. "Glad they don't have you anymore. Khochav. Mine."

COYOTE

"Mm." Mishka sighed happily. "Me too." He closed his eyes, dozing a bit. It was still warm, even this far north, and it felt even warmer in Hansel's arms. "Y'know," he mused, almost to himself. "I never I thought I could-- be this happy. I didn't think it was... for me. I always thought... there was something wrong with me, and I was different, and-- I'd never have people giving a shit about me, or-- even if I did, I'd fuck it up. I never thought I'd have you."

He kissed Hansel's chin. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but-- thank you. For giving me a second chance, my love."

IZZY

"Psshh." Always embarrassed him when Mishka and Goro said shit like that. Like he was some kinda catch. He felt himself blushing a bit and scoffed more. "Yeah, well." He buried his nose in Mishka's hair, breathing in sweet flowers and crisp mountain air. "Many as you need, my love. Many as we both need, eh?"

He had, after all, gotten fucking possessed by a war god and killed their entire crew, once or twice. Should've taken a bit of fucking explaining, and Mishka had hidden under his arm and settled him out of panic attacks and fallen asleep beside him and kissed him before knowing the whole story.

Hansel supposed that if he was a monster, he was at least Mishka's monster, and whatever Mishka did, he would still be Hansel's.

COYOTE

"Don't be ridiculous. Never again, my love. I'm never going to hurt you like that again. No need for anymore second chances." Before Hansel could argue-- because of course he might-- Mishka cupped the back of his neck and gently pulled him down, kissing him softly on the mouth, trying to impress on Hansel how much he meant it.

IZZY

Hansel gave a soft mm against his lips, and curled one arm around his waist, lacking his fingers up into Mishka's hair with the other to hold him there, hold him tight. He didn't believe in much. Hadn't ever done him much good.

"I know," he said simply as they broke apart, kissing Mishka again quickly before leaning their foreheads together. "I know."

COYOTE

Soft chattering and giggling came from further down the path, and two children peeked out, staring at Mishka and Hansel. They ducked back around a tree as soon as they were seen. One looked young, maybe eight, and the other seemed to be a little older.

Mishka ducked a bit deeper into Hansel's arms, tensing up a little.

IZZY

Hansel stared the tree down for a moment. Just kids, though. He stroked Mishka's back to soothe him, and kissed his head, shifting to guard him more.

COYOTE

One of the kids, the older and bolder one, shifted out behind the tree. She approached cautiously, toeing her way up. "Hey," she called. "Hello! Can, um." She giggled. "Can we talk to you?"

She looked like she had a bit of human blood. Her features were a little broader, and her ears seemed less pointed.

IZZY

Hansel kept petting Mishka, and stayed relaxed, just looking back at the kid with partially-closed eyes. "Aye." Wouldn't do to say, nah, fuck off, grown people are havin' grown people time. Fuck knew what was gonna come outta the kid's mouth, though.

COYOTE

Mishka settled, warm and pleased. It'd probably do the kid good to see grown adults having a nice time together. "Sure thing, kid. What do you want?" He cupped his hands and made a little illusion between his fingers, a dancing red butterfly, then blew it at her.

The kid watched, wide-eyed, then looked at Mishka. "Can you do... tricks and stuff? I heard, um. I heard you're all magic." Her eyes darted between Hansel and Mishka.

IZZY

"What, me?" Hansel gave the kid an amused look. "Nah. Nothin' good."

He twined some of Mishka's hair around a finger, using the motion to coax a spiral of water out of the open canteen he'd left sitting next to him, shaping it into the sketchy form of a roaring bear at the top. He wasn't so good at fancy shapes, yet, but he'd been practicing.

COYOTE

Mishka giggled, and it turned into an undignified snort. He shot the bear with a firebolt.

IZZY

Hansel gasped dramatically as the bear puffed into steam. "Poacher."

COYOTE

"I know. I'm a terrible criminal. What are you going to do about it?"

He'd been saving his magic, but-- eh, fuck it. It was the end of the day, and these kids seemed interested. Maybe he needed to let loose a little instead of carefully counting his spells all the time. And Mishka couldn't fucking resist showing off.

So he cracked off of Hansel's lap in a shower of sparkles and reappeared ten feet behind the kids in a tree. He sat on a branch and dangling his legs off, taunting Hansel.

IZZY

Hansel narrowed his eyes and grinned. He straightened and stretched, and shifted into a hefty, scruffy gray cat still stretching. The cat yawned lazily and sauntered towards the tree, headbutting the younger kid's leg on the way but not pausing.

Then he sat at the base of the tree and looked up expectantly, the tip of his tail flicking.

COYOTE

The younger kid gasped. The older kid's eyes went big, but she kept a straight face like she was trying to stay cool, as though she'd seen it all before.

The younger kid bent to stroke Hansel, running his fingers through Hansel's fur. "How do you do that?" he asked uncertainly. He looked up at Mishka. "Can you do that?"

"Oh, no," Mishka said. "Alas, I can't. I can shapeshift, but my power is too great to be contained inside a cat, I'm afraid. I can only shapeshift into big things, like dragons and giant sphinxes. Why, I'd kill you if I even attempted it right now. Too bad."

IZZY

Cat Hansel huffed out a quiet sigh, then leapt to claw his way up the tree, since clearly Mishka wasn't gonna fall for the kitty eyes and come down on his own. It was weird being all cat-shaped -- a lot weaker, but pound-for-pound about the same. He made for a dense, muscley tomcat, but he was still easily able to hop up onto Mishka's shoulder, balancing carefully, and pick his way over to stand across them behind Mishka's head.

He turned to headbutt Mishka too, in the temple, and considered shifting back on top of his just to fuck with him. Would really undermine the whole terribly powerful sorcerer thing he was goin' for, though. Hansel'd let him keep it up a bit longer. He just purred loudly right in Mishka's ear instead.

COYOTE

Mishka giggled, which wasn't very intimidating, he knew. He stifled the noise.

"Can you do anything else?" the little boy asked. "Those don't seem like very big tricks."

Mishka scoffed at that. He opened his palm and blew little fireworks and firebolts, making small illusions and then blowing them up-- dancing lights, butterflies that vanished in small roars of flame, birds and cats and tiny fireflies.

Then, for the finale, he vanished, using the last of his magic to turn both he and Hansel invisible, suddenly vanishing midway through the show.

IZZY

Hansel rubbed his cheek against Mishka's again, then hopped down all silent and invisible. He shifted back -- then figured, eh, fuck it, and shifted into a big, furry, docile brown bear and flopped harmlessly onto his back before shaking the invisibility off.

COYOTE

The little kids shrieked with laughter and terror and bolted off down the path. Mishka hopped down beside him, sending off little fireworks again, becoming visible as he did.

"Well, there they go," Mishka said. "Pleased with yourself, you great big bear?"

IZZY

The bear yawned loudly and grabbed for Mishka, dragging him in without the tiniest scrape and squashing his face into the thick fur.

COYOTE

Mishka giggled against his will and surrendered to being squashed. He flopped against Hansel. "Y'know, maybe we should worry about planting the letters some other time." He didn't really have much left in the tank. "Maybe we have some wine, write some ridiculous love letters, then--" Mishka waggled his eyebrows.

IZZY

Hansel went back to being a half-orc, grinning all smug, still on his back and holding Mishka on top of him. "Oh, eh?" He waggled his eyebrows back. "You wanna fuckin' elaborate on that some, pretty boy?"

COYOTE

Mishka settled on top of him, still grinning like an idiot. He bent down seductively, put his mouth next to Hansel's ear, and whispered, "Nah."

IZZY

"Hmm." He rolled to pin Mishka in the grass, hands on his wrists, hips on his hips. "Maybe I'll just make you show me."

COYOTE

"Well, that was the fucking idea. Once we'd had some wine and love letters."

IZZY

"Maybe I ain't got the patience for wine and love letters."

COYOTE

"Maybe I like making you wait."

IZZY

"Yeah? Maybe it ain't about what you like." Hansel leaned down to nip at his neck.

COYOTE

Mishka struggled a minute, basking in the fact he genuinely couldn't get away. He didn't have enough magic. It was funny to think that, once upon a time, that would've freaked him out.

He would've panicked over how people from Alabaster might come and arrest him and he wouldn't have the magic to get away-- and yeah, that was a valid fear, but... now he knew Hansel would stab the whole city to get him out, and Goro would talk his way past the guards, and Roddy would pop into his jail cell and save him. Luci would help too, and Raef and Larkin might as well, depending on their schedules, he supposed.

He felt good. He felt calm.

Mishka shivered, pressing into Hansel's grip. He didn't say anything, just looked at him.

"Well then," Mishka said. "Maybe you oughta make me." And he broke free, squirmed out from under Hansel, and bolted for the inn. Probably safe in public places, right?

IZZY

Hansel scoffed. Slippery little bastard. He pushed himself up and after Mishka, catching up at the inn's door and ducking down to tackle him and scoop him up, tossing him over his shoulders -- hooking one arm between his knees and holding an arm with the other hand. All secure.

"Maybe I fuckin' will, khochav."

He carried his husband upstairs to lock the door, shove a chair under it, block the window -- and maybe have some wine and write some love letters afterwards.

[ftb]

COYOTE

By the time they were done, Mishka was lightly dozing, curled up against Hansel’s chest. He breathed slow, deep, and even, content to just lie in bed in his husband’s arms.  His back stung, a little, from nail-marks, and his neck ached from bite-marks, but he felt— good. Really fucking good.

He knew he’d have those marks for a few days, and it pleased him.

Mishka sighed. “Go fetch me some water. I’m thirsty.”

IZZY

"Psshh."

Hansel stretched out lazily, stroking Mishka's hair. He put it off for a second, then wrapped around Mishka to snuggle him, nuzzling against his neck to give him little kisses across his throat his throat before letting go.

"Aye, cap'n," he drawled, and dug around on the floor to find some clothes. "Back in a tick. Anything else, your fuckin' majesty?"

COYOTE

“Yes.” Mishka kissed him one last time. “You. Bring some water and bring yourself back, and I’m good. That’s all I need, my love.” He paused, then said, “And maybe round two.”

IZZY

Hansel watched him softly for a moment, smiling -- just taking in the sight of him. Fucking radiant and stellar, glowing, all his. All safe. He leaned back in, because he could never just go, to kiss his hair one more time -- then maybe just once more.

"Always, my love."

He went to get water.

[VIGNETTE]

IZZY

Hansel just sat for a while.

He sat for a long while, or at least it felt like a long while, because it felt like the fucking months he and Mishka had been living together, sleeping together; it felt like every time they'd twined around each other and he'd fallen asleep listening to Mishka's heart, or smelling his hair, every soft moment from morning to night and night to morning.

Every goddamn second of it felt poisoned. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to throw himself in the fucking ocean. His skin crawled, and his gut clenched, and his jaw ached from grinding. Every fucking second since that night he'd steeled himself and set out to Mishka's estate outside Skyport, with a truth serum and the hope that Mishka would see him, and take it, and say the right thing.

He'd known -- somewhere subconscious, not wanting to look at it too hard -- that if he asked Mishka, Would you really have done it? and Mishka said, Yes, then it'd be over. Then the Mishka he loved was fucking dead. And he half hadn't wanted to know the answer, but he couldn't fucking keep doing what he was doing -- he needed closure, one way or another. He needed to know if the man he knew was still ... there, somehow, some way, to some fucking extent, even after what he'd done to their crew, and to Hansel.

And he --

He wasn't.

He wasn't.

Hansel doubled over and covered his head with his arms. Thought about Mishka kissing him on the Sugar Glider, drunk and too-sweet, asking if he was all right. If he was fucking all right. Checking in on his goddamn work, Hansel supposed, seeing how it'd taken root. He must've been so fucking pleased with himself when Hansel kissed him back.

.

He cried. Not wrenching sobs -- too in shock, maybe -- just barely, just squeezing his eyes closed and letting them leak. Thought about when he dragged himself to the estate again, not angry and not afraid, just fucking despairing. Too tired and drained. Remembered wanting to hold an axe to his throat outside the gate and get it over with.

Mishka must have been calculating the whole time. How to get him to stay. The sob story. Not that Hansel thought it was a lie -- couldn't be, with the serum -- but it fucking felt like one. Was all a trick. All fucking manipulation.

And he thought of -- wanting to die when Diva had Mishka, of fighting to get him back, of fighting to keep hold of him, keep him from running away. Watching Mishka's sleeping face and silently begging, Stay, please, just a little while longer. My life is nothing next to yours. Stay with me. Don't leave me alone again.

It was all fake. It was all fucking fake. God, he'd fucking proposed. Mishka must have been fucking proud of that one. He'd let Mishka near his family, his kids -- fuck, Roddy was going around calling him his dad now, and even Luci liked him, and Jonn -- fucksake, the kid had been right. All along, he'd been goddamn right. And Hansel had talked him out of it. Stupid. Stupid. Fucking stupid Hansel Granger.

As much as it made him sick to think of how he'd been sharing his bed with Mishka, it fucking terrified him that he'd let the sonofabitch get close to his kids. What if Mishka'd fucked with them, too? Hansel wanted to just fucking -- leave. He didn't want to deal with it. He wanted to go back to Skyport right fucking now and grab Jonn and apologize, and try to figure out where the fuck he went from here, but figure it out after a couple weeks of drinking and crying and starting barfights and crying more.

.

Couldn't do that, though. It wasn't just him and Jonn now. Had other family to look out for, and -- god, he'd have to ... have to tell them each individually, have to keep admitting how fucking stupid he was, have to break it to Roddy, have to ... He couldn't. No. He just -- he couldn't.

He shoved himself up, dragging his arm across his face. He'd do it once. Once, and then he'd be fucking done. Mishka was fucking dead -- the man in his bed was a stranger -- so he could ... he could do that. Just make him fucking get out and deal with the rest later, just so long as his family was safe from the fucking poison.

His chest ached. He wanted to Send to Goro, but there was nothing Goro could help with. God, Goro. Goro trusted Mishka too, and his trust was such a tenuous thing -- he'd be a fucking wreck. And there was Joan. Fuck, he didn't even know what she'd do. Everything was going to fall apart. Everything was going to be ruined. Because of fucking Mishka. Again.

Hansel was so fucking stupid.

He reached the door and pushed in, not closing it behind him. He didn't look at the bed -- his stomach churned again thinking about it -- just grabbed clothes off the floor and threw them in that direction.

"Out," he said flatly. "Get out. Leave. Fucking now. Fuck off."

COYOTE

Something was off about Hansel’s tone. Mishka’s first thought was that this was a very bad roleplay or some sort— maybe he was supposed to beg Hansel to stay, offer to do anything to keep him, something along those lines.

Hansel looked oddly upset, though.

Mishka unfolded himself from the bed and grabbed his clothes. “Why? Are there cops outside? Are you— coming with me?”

IZZY

The obliviousness lanced through Hansel. He thought -- what if he just pretended he didn't know? What if he just ... just acted like everything was normal, everything was the way it'd been before? Things'd been good, not knowing. Mishka had ... been good.

Hansel thought maybe, if it was just him, he'd swallow it down. Maybe it'd be worth it anyway, just to keep hearing Mishka's voice, keep having Mishka tell him sweet things and look at him so softly, so longingly. Like it was real. He could lie to himself and pretend like it was real.

But it wasn't just him. And if there was a chance that Mishka would do anything to their -- to Hansel's family --

"I'm not fucking going anywhere with you." He made himself look, then, made himself flinty and sharp. "No one's fucking going anywhere with you. You fucking get out and if I ever see you again I'll be the last thing you fucking see."

COYOTE

Yeah, something was-- really fucking wrong. Hansel was giving him a cold look.

Mishka finished pulling on a pants and shirt (wasn't sure what the fuck was going on, but it was better to be clothed for it). He buckled on his belt, next, because it had his knife on it, and-- Mishka didn't want to look armed, but if something was fucking going on, he wanted to be armed.

(Stupid, fucking stupid, wasting the last of his magic on entertaining those fucking kids. What if somebody paid those kids to waste his spells so they could attack him and corner him? What if somebody was out to get him--)

Something was wrong with Hansel. Maybe he'd hit his head. Maybe someone had cast a domination spell on him, and was making him say these things so they could get Mishka out of the room, by himself, away from the rest of the group. It seemed convoluted, but that's what people in Alabaster were like. Everyone had plans within plans. The police were small but effective.

"Hansel," Mishka said softly. Cautiously. "Neshama. You know it's me, right? Mishka? Beloved? Nesichecha? Ish."

IZZY

"I know who you fucking are." The way Mishka was talking to him made the anger grow, which -- was good. He couldn't do the same wrong, stupid shit he'd been doing if he was pissed at Mishka, so he fed it, shoved aside everything he'd learned and taught himself about not getting angry and getting into fights and talking people down instead.

He shoved it aside and made himself step in to jab a finger into Mishka's chest. "Yeah, I know who you fucking are, Haeth. You're a fucking liar. Get out of my goddamn sight."

COYOTE

Mishka moved back, a little, about five feet, watching Hansel, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. Didn't fucking make sense. Hansel wouldn't fucking talk to him like that, wouldn't... be this pissed, or look at him that hatefully.

Something was wrong. With Hansel. Somebody fucking did something to him.

"I'm not a liar," Mishka said. "I-- not to you, I mean, that's not-- I said I wouldn't--"

IZZY

Hansel wanted to fucking -- slap him, shut him up, make him stop talking. He didn't quite have it in him, though, to hit Mishka. Still. (Fucking stupid. Fucking weak.)

He closed the distance between them and shoved Mishka back, though, against the wall, clamping a hand over his mouth. "You don't fucking talk to me." His voice shook. He couldn't tell if it was anger or hurt. "Not another goddamn word." Was just a chance for him to keep fucking with Hansel's head. "I'm gonna let you go, and you're gonna walk away, and no one -- not Goro, not Roddy, not Luci, no one -- is gonna fucking see your hide again. And if you ever -- if you ever fucking think about touching Jonn again, I'll fucking skin you real slow. D'you fucking understand me?"

COYOTE

Mishka's pulse skyrocketed. Felt like he was going to throw up.

What the fuck?

Okay. Options. Possibilities.

This was a nightmare and he was about to wake up. Somebody was controlling or dominating Hansel-- unlikely, felt too real. This entire sequence of events was fake, a memory someone implanted in him at a later date to turn him against Hansel-- maybe.

Nothing fucking made sense except someone conspiring against him, and that was-- convoluted. He knew that was too paranoid too be true, too unlikely. Mishka knew himself; he'd lived in his own brain for well over a hundred years; and he knew, for a fact, he tended to see things that weren't there and get anxious over threats that weren't real. Aleks always told him that.

Suppose someone was controlling Hansel. Suppose someone was making him say this and do this, and he was locked inside his own brain right now, screaming at Mishka to run, wanting to tell him it was okay.

Suppose this wasn't Hansel at all.

Mishka nodded just so Hansel would take his hand off his mouth and let him go.

IZZY

Hansel took his hand away, took a step back, and jerked his head towards the door.

COYOTE

Yeah, Mishka needed more fucking people for this. He grabbed his dancing rapier and buckled it on (rapier and a knife, now-- better). Left the flametongue; too bulky to have both right now.

He knew he should be panicking, or heartbroken, but he didn't. He felt clear and focused in that numb way he got when things were breaking apart but he still had shit to do. Had to fucking protect Hansel from whatever was going on, had to figure shit out.

In case this was, in fact, Hansel, and he was, in fact, dominated, Mishka said, very gently, "I'm gonna fix this. I'll be right back, okay?" And he moved to go get Goro, who-- doubtless-- would have healing magic, or could dispel magic, or... he had that fucking staff that gave him truesight, and--

IZZY

Nope. Fucking no.

Hansel grabbed his arm, hard, digging his fingers in. "You ain't fixing shit," he said lowly. "You've fucking done enough fixing." Made his teeth clench, thinking about Mishka fucking around in his head, and he growled the rest out through them. "You're gonna leave, you're not gonna talk to any-goddamn-body, you're never gonna look back. No more little letters this time. Nothing. Do you. Fucking. Understand me?"

COYOTE

No more little letters this time.

That gave him a little twinge of panic, because it made it really fucking clear what Hansel was talking about: Leaving him, the same way they'd left each other last time, and Mishka had tried to talk him back.

In a low, harsh voice, Mishka said, "You don't fucking tell me what to do," and shoved against Hansel, which didn't fucking do much.

He was absolutely going to try to talk Hansel down and try to work through this, and he'd be calm, and he'd be patient, and Hansel could go fuck himself, because Mishka wasn't fucking giving up this time like he had last time--

IZZY

Hansel shoved back -- against the wall again. He made himself keep his hand on Mishka's arm, because it wanted to go around his fucking throat, and --

and he still --

he still didn't want to hurt Mishka. Fucking pathetic. Just wanted Mishka to leave him alone, leave all of them alone, his kids and Goro and Raef and Larkin. Just ... just not touch them again. Be a storm out at sea that didn't keep blowing into port. He'd stay inland; he'd do anything.

Mishka had said -- and Hansel didn't know what was real anymore, what was genuine -- but Mishka had said that he thought Hansel was a monster, and he'd tried to get a rise out of him again and again to prove it, and ... it'd never worked because Hansel loved him, still, like a fucking idiot. Because Hansel didn't want to fight him. Just wanted to be left alone. And there was so much more on the line now -- too much to lose. He wasn't suffering quietly alone with his son anymore. Too much.

Hansel's fingers twitched into a fist.

"What are you gonna make me fucking do to get my point across?" he asked.

COYOTE

Mishka wet his lips. His kept his voice quiet. “Hansel. I’m not trying to trick you. I think we should sit down and lay out all the facts. Nice. Simple. Logical. What did I do?”

He reached to touch Hansel’s face. He ignored the screaming urge to yank his arm away.

IZZY

Hansel jerked back from his hand. More of the same shit. I'm calm. I'm rational. You should sit down, be quiet, stop making a fuss. It's all right. You're broken, but I'll fix you.

He wasn't fucking falling for it this time. He wasn't listening. He fucking knew he was weak, and he'd stop his ears to block of the siren song if he could, but in this case, it felt like -- like he was in a corner, and -- all he could do --

He let go of Mishka's arm and punched him across the face.

"I told you not to fucking talk to me."

He should be angrier, he thought, and not want to fucking sob.

COYOTE

Mishka staggered back, staring at Hansel in naked shock. Hansel had never hit him before— well, not outside of sparring and the bedroom— he’d never—

(Except that one time, when Mishka poisoned his fucking kid, and Hansel threw him against the cobblestones and punched him in the face— but—)

“What’d I fucking do?” Mishka said, stunned. He grabbed a hold of Hansel’s arm, this time. “What’d I fucking do?”

IZZY

Hansel shook him off. "You know what you fucking did," he snarled. "You know what you fucking did. Don't act all fucking innocent with me. I know who you fucking are, Haeth. Keep away from my goddamn family."

COYOTE

“It’s gonna be fine,” Mishka whispered. “I love you. You’re fucking— you’re stressed, you’re tired, you’re not thinking straight—“

He backed up before Hansel could hit him again.

He knew Hansel would hate it, but— if he used magic, just this once, to read Hansel’s mind and figure out what was going on— Hansel would forgive him for that, right?

Except he didn’t have any fucking magic. Fucking... fuck that.

“Yeah, okay,” Mishka said, and went straight for the door again. Gonna go get Roddy to vouch for him and Goro to check Hansel out. God, he was dying to— hold Hansel, calm him down, and whisper how everything was okay. Couldn’t, though. Wouldn’t help.

IZZY

Hansel's fists clenched again. Trying to fucking reassure and soothe him -- yeah, fucking sure. He was tired. Right.

"I'm thinking perfectly fucking straight. I am now," he growled. "Fuck you."

He moved after Mishka. Didn't trust him for shit -- didn't trust him to not go straight to Goro, or Roddy, or someone else -- get in their fucking heads too. If he hadn't already. God, he was gonna have to get Goro to fix all of them, just to be sure, just to be safe. There was a hollow pit in his gut, wondering what else Mishka might have changed -- what he'd come up with, what he'd gotten rid of. Every fucking part of their lives could've been tainted already.

COYOTE

Mishka dug his heels in. God fucking damn. Hansel wasn't going to let him get a word in edgewise if he went to talk to Goro or Roddy, so-- he was going to have to be more careful about this. More stealthy.

He'd grab his shit and genuinely leave. Give himself a day to recharge his magic. Come back. Talk to Roddy and Goro and whoever else if he could-- sneak in invisibly, if he had to, to avoid Hansel.

He wasn't scared of Hansel, he just... didn't want to fight him and hurt him, not if he wasn't in his right mind--

Yeah. He wasn't scared of Hansel.

He really needed to keep telling himself that.

(His arm ached, and he remembered, suddenly, how Hansel had killed him on the deck. And how Hansel had cried, afterwards, and been terrified of hurting him for months. How Hansel was scared of hurting them, any of them. But thinking about that made his chest ache painfully, so he shut it down.)

"May I have a fucking moment to grab my things, master?" Mishka bit out. His throat hurt, and it came out angrier than necessary.

IZZY

Fucking rankled him, the master thing. Like Mishka was making fun of what they'd shared, like this was a fucking game. Made him feel even more fucking ill, too. He'd let himself be vulnerable around Mishka. Let his guard down. He'd fucking done it all over again after he should have fucking known better -- all it took was one fucking lie, and he'd fallen in just as deep as he'd always been.

"I think you fucking have enough," he said sharply. Just wanted Mishka gone. Wanted to stop hearing his voice and seeing his voice, because he was weak, he was so fucking weak, and his head was still fuzzy and keeping straight what was real and what wasn't --

He wanted Mishka to keep telling him it was gonna be okay, and he wanted Mishka to pet his face and shush him. He wanted to curl up in bed and have Mishka tell him what he'd gotten wrong, why everything was all right, how Mishka would take care of him.

And he wanted to crawl in a hole and fucking die, because he couldn't trust anyone, because he had bad fucking judgement and he hated himself, and he'd deserved all of it.

"Out." He stepped closer, crowding Mishka towards the door.

COYOTE

Mishka didn't move.

IZZY

Hansel shoved him. "I said get the fuck out."

COYOTE

Mishka couldn’t move. He kept trying to think of a way out, or a good plan to use, but there wasn’t one.

Nobody was gonna take his fucking side over this. Whatever “this” was. Even if he came back later, nobody was gonna fucking talk to him.

They weren’t his family. Hansel kept saying that— kept saying my family, kept stressing the word, and he was fucking right. Mishka was Luci’s stepdad because Hansel was her father. Same with Roddy. Jonn would be glad he was finally gone. Goro would focus on helping Hansel. Raef was a friend, and Larkin was… who fucking knew… but Larkin was Hansel’s crewmate and Raef was Hansel’s chaver, and Mishka was a fucking liar who couldn’t be trusted anyway.

And, standing in an inn right outside of Alabaster, with very little magic, wearing an undershirt and breeches, still barefoot, with only a knife and rapier, after spending the last two fucking days committing crimes and making sure everyone in Alabaster knew he was here… with no money and no mask…

He’d be dead before he got his magic back.

“Please,” Mishka said through gritted teeth. He couldn’t make himself look at Hansel. He backed away, involuntarily going out the door. “Please. Neshama. Please-- don’t.”

IZZY

"You shoulda thought about the fucking consequences before you fucked me over, again," Hansel spat. He shoved Mishka again. Shouldn't fucking hurt to do that -- should be stronger -- should be angrier -- but it did. "Out. I'm not fuckin' tellin' you again, Haeth."

COYOTE

They were drawing looks. There were other people in the hallway. He needed to... fucking go. Somewhere. Wasn't sure where. Just, somewhere.

"Tell me what I did," Mishka said. Door wasn't that far away.

IZZY

Tell me what I did. "What," Hansel snarled, stepping in again, "so you can explain how it wasn't really your fault? It's never your fucking fault, huh? Dragon made you fucking do it. Yeah, that's why you fucking left me in the first place, 'cept, what, then you thought maybe it'd be better if you fucking weaseled your way back in and got me to kill it for you, huh? Or I'd die fighting it, that'd be good too."

He shoved Mishka a third time.

"I'm not gonna let you fucking -- talk circles around me and shit anymore." The devastated betrayal was creeping into his voice. He wanted to just be fucking angry but -- all he could think about was bawling his eyes out in a back alley, how Elitash gently said, Tell me where he is, and how he wouldn't say it, wouldn't let her try to hurt Mishka on his behalf. Too fucking weak. "Just fucking go. No more fucking excuses. No more fucking talking. No more magic."

Another shove.

"Leave me the fuck alone." He growled it through his teeth, trying to keep up the facade, keep his voice from breaking. "Stay the fuck away from us."

COYOTE

Mishka kept backing away. Hansel got further from him with every step.

And then Mishka was out the inn door, staring, stunned, at Hansel. He stopped there.

People were still looking. It was late, around seven in the evening. This was  a fairly isolated inn, but there were still a handful of people around, doubtless returning to the inn for diner, and they were-- looking at him, half-dressed and barefoot.

Mishka couldn't fucking take in anymore. He felt like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin. Too many threats around, too much chaos.

He backed into the road, and he turned, and he bolted.

IZZY

Hansel took a step closer before stopping himself, because it was automatic to go after Mishka, but he ... he couldn't. He was the one telling Mishka to go, and -- he had to keep his head on straight.

Yeah, that wasn't gonna fucking happen.

People were staring, keeping their distance from the angry orc yelling at the perfectly calm and reasonable elf. He knew what it fucking looked like. Got under his skin. There was this idea scratching at the back of his mind that no matter what was real, and no matter what he said, everyone was going to take Mishka's side. Everyone would believe Mishka, and tell him he was crazy (he was tired, he was stressed), and he should calm down and let Mishka explain. It would all be perfectly reasonable, if he just listened, if he just fucking let Mishka back into his head.

Jonn would believe him. He knew that. Maybe Jonn was the only one who would, and he'd lose everything he'd managed to build since he joined the Runners, everything he'd gained since he'd lost his entire fucking life. Everything. Everything.

He needed to move. He stormed out of the inn to pace around in the orchard outside, breathing hard through his teeth -- trying to control it, arms wrapped tight around himself. Focused on the movement. He wasn't -- he wasn't fucking panicking, he wasn't upset, he wasn't devastated, he wasn't fucking gutted. He should just be angry. He should just feel fucking righteous indignation.

But what he felt instead was empty and stupid, and uncertain of everything and everyone, and eventually, he burned himself out and collapsed against a tree well away from the inn, and curled around his knees, and cried like a fucking child. No Serena to find him this time and pet his hair, because after all, he'd fucking killed her.

.

He'd find Goro, later. Or Send to him, ask to be found out here in the dark.

But not right now, because he didn't have to words to explain, didn't have to words to call for help. All he had was a sense of fucking hopelessness.

[end]