280: Intestines Gloobing Everywhere

## Summary

Raphina *Bananishes* Opo while Batthwack and Rosco take on the heavies. Meanwhile, Will sneaks into the room where the key is stowed, finding it has a familiar mushroom growing on it, and then swipes the whole thing. With the battle seemingly over, Opo's companion kills Sanjay and then begs the party kill him.

## Synopsis

Opo recommences his charge at Batthwack, who casts *Blinding Smite*, raises his shield and hurls his javelin. As it strikes Opo there's a flash of bright light, but Opo manages to avoid being blinded and forges ahead, crashing into Batthwack. The dragonborn stays on his feet, sliding back a few inches as Opo grapples him around the waist. Witnessing this from his position prone on the floor, Will can't believe he had even tried to block the raging ibish, and decides it's time to let everyone else handle the fighting and make himself useful elsewhere. He casts *Dimension Door* on the floor and rolls over into it, materialising on all fours in the pitch black, stinking pedestal room.

The other ibish, Opo's companion, watches Opo's grapple with Batthwack intently. He pulls something out of his pocket, which he points at Batthwack, and shouts *"Hold!"* in his heavily accented voice; some kind of spell. Despite his recent attempts to avoid hostilities, Opo's hold on Batthwack has enraged him and his mind is so focused on that that the spell doesn't affect him. The ibish retreats into the south part of the room.

Raphina shoves her *Oathbow* into Opo's gut and fires at point-blank range. He grabs his side in pain and Batthwack is released from the grapple. Rosco casts *Shillelagh* on his quarterstaff, charging it with nature's power. He swings it two-handed towards Sanjay, but Sanjay, who is no longer holding his sword, catches the quarterstaff and shoves it forcefully to the side, pinning it against the wall. Rosco calls up to Rosco dog, who jumps down into his arms and begins licking his face.

Sanjay grabs his sword and dashes away, Raphina smashing him with her mace as he tries to dodge past. He then swings at Batthwack but the blade pings off his armour. Batthwack grabs Opo around the waist, leans back and hooks him over his shoulder, sending Opo tumbling directly into the centre of the brazier. Coals and soot fly into the air. Barely visible inside the fire, Opo lets out a strange mixture of laughter and squeals of pain as he rolls around. As Batthwack casts *Thunderous Smite* in preparation, smoke envelopes him, and he breathes it in. He feels invigorated, if a little foggy.

Suddenly the head of a flail on a very long chain comes hurtling out of the fire. Batthwack is able to dodge out of the way just in time. An angry shriek explodes from somewhere in the fire.

Meanwhile, Will casts *Light* on his billy club and gets this first proper look at the key and the mushroom that is growing up out of it. Having some knowledge of drugs and certain types of mushrooms associated with that, he's wary of releasing dangerous spores by handling it. He actually recognises this particular type of mushroom, and knows that it does produce spores he doesn't want to breathe in. This mushroom is actually the source of a drug known in Tivoli as "lamplight", a very potent sedative that would send users into a hazy, blurry, sleepy state.  He covers his face with a handkerchief and gently nudges the mushroom, discovering it's firmly attached to the key.

Outside, the other ibish casts a spectral hand to pull Opo out of the brazier. Raphina thinks enough is enough and casts *Bananishmnent*, hurling a BLT sandwich (without mayonnaise) through the air at Opo. It smacks him in the face and with another poof of dark sooty dust, he's gone. Raphina actually has the sense that he's gone longer than a minute, suggesting to her that Opo didn't actually belong on this plane. After making sure Rudy is safely with him now, he points towards the other ibish aggressively, and is shocked and confused when he finds himself casting *Poison Spray*, sending a steady, billowing stream of sparkly, lavender-scented gas swirls through the air. The initial shock on Rosco's face then settles as he begins to accept what's happening. However, the ibish sees the gas coming and has enough time clasp a cloth to his face.

Sanjay calls out desperately for Opo who is nowhere to be seen. The other ibish indicates Batthwack, and Sanjay obediently and emotionlessly hacks at the dragonborn with his sword, dealing some significant damage. Batthwack darts away from the heat of the brazier, between the ibish and Sanjay. His first blow is parried by Sanjay, but the second strikes true, there's a clap of thunder and a blinding flash of radiant light. The sound of rushing water fills everyone's ears for just a moment as Sanjay crashes back into the wall and tumbles to the ground, looking badly hurt.

In the pedestal room, Will uses his hair oil and ink to try and coat the dry mushroom before scooping it up in his *Cloak of the Bat*. Looking for a quick way out, he wonders about his foot and it's apparent new teleportation ability. He goes to stamp it on the ground, but when foot meets floor he finds he's been transported right outside the heavy metal door. Now that they've retrieved what they came here for, Will can't see any point in continuing the fight, and shouts *"Hey, get over here guys!"* Batthwack looks over in the direction of Will's voice and is visibly relieved.

The other ibish is wildly swivelling his head around owl-style, his eyes spinning too. He eventually looks over at Sanjay and places a hand on him. While the ibish's head continues to rotate, lightening springs from his hand, filling Sanjay's body with electricity. Sanjay's body shudders for a moment and then is still. The ibish locks eyes with Batthwack and drops to his knees. He screams *"Kill me! Cut my head off! I desire it! Do it now!"*

## Quotes

* Add memorable quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Abby. Eric elicited an eyeroll from her when he made a big point of toning down his sometimes gruesome descriptions for her. *"Batthwack, a sword just sunk deep into your body somewhere. That's all I'll say for Abby's sake. What are you doing? ... Oh, I got her to roll her eyes! She was thankful last time, now she's fed up with it! Sinew, Abby, sinew!! Gristle! Marrow is exposed!"* Abby: *"Hey! I can handle all of those words... It's 'intestines gloobing everywhere.'"* KT: *"'Gloobing! You gotta use that!"*
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: histrionic.

## References

1. ↑ Adam reveals something interesting about Rosco's character when casting *Shillelagh* on his quarterstaff: "*For the duration, I use my spell casting ability instead of strength, for the attack and damage rolls. [...] I'm going to do the two-handed, and **I'm going to change the attack to dex**."* Thanks to PFD Discord user @steampunkoctopus for pointing this out (you can read their post in the Discord #spoiler-zone here). In response to the post, Adam confirmed it hadn't been an error, so we now know that Rosco's spell-casting ability is Dexterity 👀
2. ↑ Batthwack received plus 2 to his strength, dexterity and constitution numbers, and minus 2 to wisdom and intelligence. He also received plus 10 temporary hit points and minus five real hit points.
3. ↑ When talking about lamplight, a drug from Tivoli which came from the mushroom Will found on the pedestal, they said *"It didn't do what this does."* Eric added *"It took a very small dosage. Larger doses were not good."*
4. ↑ Head over to the PFD community Discord server to see what suggestions were made for what Raphina's BLT might contain! See https://discord.com/channels/737136474100596848/739947056608837672/1006204164021428305
5. ↑ Whatever the hell Rudy is!!