Rav

Hiya fellow story enjoyers, my name’s Räv and I’m here to tell you about my life. First, I should tell you all about what you’d see physically. I am a robotic fox created by an incredibly smart pirate. I was made a long, long time ago but only recently became a god. I am part of the gods in the Rooms of Deities, so I’m allowed to submit this through my experience. I was made in the fashion of an anthropomorphic fox with a pirate-like personality. I’ve grown, so not as piratey, but it’s still something you’ll notice if I feel any extreme emotion. I’m a fast writer, so I’ll be right after Hecate, but my story is nowhere near as interesting as hers. Anyways, lemme describe myself. First off, I’m 8’9 so I’m considered a giant by most others. I do still get towered by Gekido though. I have pink and white fur all over me with dark pink stripes all over my abdomen and tail, a metallic right hand, a hook for my left hand, metallic footpaws, and a large white tail with a hot pink tip. I also have a penis that is red, seven inches and has a two-inch knot. I also have many issues, such as constantly deceiving or the opposite and being extremely cooperative. My life is full of contradictions, even my title is contradictory. I’m the God of Mischief and Cooperation. Yes, like Loki, but nicer. Plus, Loki handles a lot of other stuff that would just bore me. Anyways, my powers consist of the following: Altering the timeline (only the future), persuasive speaking (forces weaker gods and mortals to listen and obey), teleportation and telekinesis, and mortal insight (can read the minds of weak gods and all mortals). Interesting, right? As a matter of fact, I helped Eurydice refine his timeline recently. I have a great understanding of nearly everything so my opinion really helped him apparently. Whelp, that’s all to know about me right now. It’s onto my story!

My eyes opened with a clunk, scaring the person standing in front of me. I took a second to process where I was, looking around and not moving. The person in front of me spoke after clearing his throat, “Hello, Räv, you’re in my room on a ship. You are on a vessel that floats above water and uses the wind to go anywhere needed.” This man explained what I was seeing, and then I looked at him, hitting my chest and beginning to speak. “Hello. Can I ask why I’m here? I have a basic knowledge of everything, I think, so I simply need to know why I’m here now.” He sat down behind a desk and pointed to a chair, telling me I could use it. I denied politely and simply stood where I had before without moving an inch, only moving to look at him. He nodded, understanding, then spoke, “I used a very misunderstood method to create you. I’m calling it robotics, but I still need to refine my work. You’re my only piece of work so far, but I hope that you’ll be all I need. I made you in hopes that I would be able to have a partner to entertain others with. You see, I’m a storyteller. I write books and read them to other pirates for a few doubloons. It’s fun for me and keeps me fed, but with you perhaps I could retire and relax. You’d be able to join me too. You don’t need to eat or drink, simply need to take a dive every now and again to stay clean. If you don’t want to, I understand, but I simply hope you do. I created your life, but I won’t force you to live a life of my choosing.” He seemed really nice, so I walked over to the chair he had offered me before and sat down and nodded. “Okay, I’ll assist you, but you’ll need to explain something to me,” I looked at him, waiting for him to nod. He did and so I laughed quietly,” Why do I have a penis?” He nearly burst out laughing, then explained it to me,” I thought the realism might be entertaining. There isn’t any clothing that can fit ya so you’ll be shaking around too. I didn’t even consider that!” He leaned back in his wooden chair, laughing like a teapot. I laughed too, then gave him a pat on the shoulder, accidentally piercing his right shoulder with the hook I have. “Shit!” I cried out as I quickly pulled it out with a squelch. Oh god. Is he okay? He simply laughed and pulled out some wrapping bandage and wrapped it up,” Happens all the time sport, don’t worry. I’ve done it more than I can remember.” This confused me as he had both of his hands, though I didn’t push further. I sighed, then realised I wasn’t breathing. I slapped my chest with a loud thunk occurring. “Yep, made of metal bud. Nothing else I could do for ya. You at least got fur that can stay clean. Just so you know, your quarters are right next to mine directly to the left. It’s a replica of mine, so nothing crazy.” I nodded and got up to leave, “Yell for me if you need me. Also, you can just call me Funtime, since I kinda wanna be remembered for what I bring to the table.” He gave me a thumbs up and I left to entre my room. Before I entered I simply walked to the side and examined where we were. We were docked to an island, which I thought odd but didn’t think much other than that. I jumped out and entered the sea to see what was underneath. I saw so much life, it was beautiful. I climbed the side of the ship and went into my room, excited to entertain some people tomorrow. The next day, I awoke and left my room, knocking on my Master’s door. He opened the door immediately, smiling with a little guitar for me to play during his storytelling. I took it and sat on a barrel of rum, then played a little song on it. I call it Saria’s Song and he really liked it. In my files, there was this story called the Legend of Zelda, so I thought one of the characters would have a cute song like this. This made me smile when he liked it. “So, you ready to do this? You’re gonna play whatever music you think fits my story, goofy or not, and I’ll keep the story going.” I nodded and he waved for me to follow him down to the shore. I jumped down and he walked me directly into an underground bar, full of old, young, and middle-aged pirates, all drinking rum and wine. The wine threw me off, but hey, alcohol is alcohol. Master asked where we could play and the bartender (who was extremely cute!) pointed to the stage on the right. This whole place was lit with gas lanterns and candles, giving it a really cool aesthetic as you could see everything inside. The dirt walls really fascinated me as they looked just like a fox den does, but just bigger! Anyways, me and Master went to the stage and sat on the chairs, both of us getting ready to perform. I prepped the guitar he gave me and he gave me an overview of the book while I prepped. He cleared his voice and spoke, “Alright you numbskulls, you ready to listen to a story from Blackbeard? You know the guy, the one who sold his soul. I’m here to tell you how.” He smirked and I began to play a scary background. “Out one night on a full moon, the great pirate Blackbeard searched for a lost treasure. He bought a map of a merchant, though it refused to say what the treasure was or why it was hidden. He noticed a small island, very similar to this one, and sailed in its direction. The crew he had was begging for him to let them stop as they were feeling sick and lightheaded, but he ordered them to push forward. As they finally reached the ship and dropped their anchor, he ordered them all to stay onboard. They agreed, all rushing below to get some rum. He smiled, even laughed a bit, then jumped from his ship and dove underwater, looking for a huge cave. He had asked around about the map and other pirates claimed it was underneath the island somehow. None of them could swim deep, none except Blackbeard,” He continued and continued, entrancing these drunk sailors with his words. It seemed as though they were being drugged by his tone, donating all of their money into his hat. In the end, Blackbeard sold his soul to an agent of Satan, Mefisto (Apparently an agent of Shinse), in return for the ability to entrance any listeners of his voice and to force them to donate to them. I was almost shocked at the end, as I realised that he was Blackbeard.

So, that was my story. I’m going to update you now on the current state of the universe. Currently, the world is on fire. It seems that a giant virus is destroying the universe. Yes, it wasn’t only Earth affected by Covid, the Grik didn’t think it fair to hurt only one planet. So, everywhere is on fire, but it seems to be getting better. Slowly, planets are regrouping and realising what happened. The beginning of an intergalactic war. Fun, right? Anyways, I gotta go on a date with Eurydice, they’re expecting me down on Earth. He wants to treat me to some Swedish food, so kind. Byyyyyye!