Robot Jesus

**Robot Jesus** (ドモ・アリッガット・ミスター ・ローバット *Domo Arigato Misutaa Roobatto*) is the float of Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout's float, Football Master. He is a massive robot Scout with hair similar to that of the Scoutlings and is the baker of the MacGuffin Muffins and creator of all life in the universe.

He is also brothers with Scout-Kenn, but they don't talk much. This is thought to be largely because Robot Jesus has no mouth.

## Backstory

Before the massive dewsplosion that created the universe, Robot Jesus was a warrior who fought with his brother, Scout-Kenn, against the tyranny of an evil god. Upon this god's defeat, the universe was destroyed and reset. Fortunately both Robot Jesus and his brother survived and were simply reduced to simple particles. Eventually due to cosmic forces, Robot Jesus was born again from a pile of metal, marijuana, memes, and Mountain Dew radiation. While Robot Jesus was intended by the cosmic forces to be the Scout-Kenn's opposite, this failed due to both Robot Jesus and his brother being really weird. Upon awakening, Robot Jesus thought that the universe was too boring and that there "needed to be some action." From here he created Power Nuggets, Energy Bolts, and Power Noodles and spread them across the still-forming cosmos just to see what would happen. Later, after discovering there was no life to use the murder-death instruments he created, Robot Jesus decided to create other substances that would later make up life and death.

One day after a few billion years had passed, while Robot Jesus was really high, he decided that creating insanely overpowered (like, Mini-Sentry-level overpowered) muffins was a good idea. So he mastered the art of baking while being baked, and his efforts created the MacGuffin Muffins. Satisfied, he fell asleep after drinking ten thousand gallons of Mountain Dew and woke up with a massive hangover due to the Dew radiation.

## Powers and Abilities

* *Dew-Radiation-Atom-Smasher* - Robot Jesus will synthesize a Dew radiation atomic bomb and will proceed to nuke his target.
* *Scrap Fist of Shattered Demons* - Robot Jesus channels his immense power into his fist(s) and proceeds to crush any thing standing in his way.
* *Sword of Stars* - Robot Jesus will make a sword out of stars and proceed to destroy his opponent. Due to the energy contained in said stars this ability would end the world.
* *Robot-Jesus-Obliterate!* - Robot Jesus draws his power into a sphere and will vaporize or disintegrate anything around him including random pedestrians.
* *Meme Storm* - Calling upon his innermost power of Darude, Robot Jesus creates a meme storm (similar to a meteor storm except replacing the meteors with memes more energized than entire galaxies combined) and hurls them at his enemies.
* *Drill Destroyer of the Evil God* - Robot Jesus transforms his lower body into *Drill Destroyer*, the mythical weapon which defeated the evil god and caused the Nemesis Menstrual Cycle which ultimately destroyed the first universe. Robot Jesus has not used *Drill Destroyer of the Evil God* since the Nemesis Menstrual Cycle, but has threatened to activate it on several occasions.
* *Muffin Man* - Robot Jesus uses Dew radiation to summon many muffins of power; however these are not the MacGuffin Muffins, but rather homing missiles shaped like muffins and filled with Dew radiation and blow up anything that they can.
* *Vengeful-Darkness Crusher* - Robot Jesus uses his immense power to channel a mix of pure Dew radiation and his fury into a giant hammer made of a mysterious material. This hammer destroys anything it touches, and was used on several occasions by Robot Jesus during the Gathering of the Ancient Deities, when several of the gods there began arguing over a roast turkey. Robot Jesus ultimately ended the fight with the hammer after some head bonking, and has not used it since. The hammer looks like, well, a giant hammer.

## Appearances

* Episode 4 Season 75
* Episode 5 Season 75
* Episode 256 Season 76
* Episode 401 Season 99

 Voice actors

Robot Jesus voices himself in all dubs throughout time. His will knows no bounds.

 Trivia

* Robot Jesus actually had a much bigger role in the manga adaption, where he convinced people he was Jesus Christ in an effort to get more money for booze. This was deemed too controversial for children as discovered from shownotes in the unaired second pilot episode.
* Despite the name, Robot Jesus is actually only 7/8 robot. He is also half Jewish.
* For the longest time it was rumored that John Dimaggio would provide the Japanese voice for Robot Jesus, but he was turned down in favor of Robot Jesus himself.
* Robot Jesus' cooking is legendary throughout the cosmos, but he is only talked about in a local galaxy cluster.
* Not even Robot Jesus knows what color Beefo's blood is. All Robot Jesus knows is that Beefo's blood is not red.
* Robot Jesus occasionally teaches martial arts across dimensions