Gender and Sexuality

A variety of social patterns concerning gender and sexuality can be observed in the Known World of *A Song of Ice and Fire*. Modern terms such as "gay", "homosexual", or "LGBT" do not appear in the novels. Moreover, no analogous in-universe term has ever been introduced.

For that matter, it is as yet unclear if "homosexuals" are even considered a conceptual category of persons in Westeros and beyond, given that this conceptual category did not actually exist in the real-world Middle Ages. For the simplicity of this article, those modern terms will be applied to the characters.

George R. R. Martin has declared that the world of *A Song of Ice and Fire* has no knowledge of genetics, so any more subtle chromosomal or hormonal conditions are unknown to them, only visible anatomical characteristics. When asked if Brienne of Tarth has a chromosomal condition, like Triple X syndrome, he responded that he did not know, because the maesters in-universe do not know what DNA is.

## Characters who have engaged in LGBT+ behaviors

1. Implied to various degrees in the text:
	* Ser Laenor Velaryon, said to have never shown any interest in women, instead preferring the company of handsome squires and knights his own age, such as Ser Joffrey Lonmouth and Ser Qarl Correy.
	* Tyanna of Pentos was said to be not only the paramour of King Maegor I Targaryen, but also of his wife, Queen Alys Harroway.
2. Crossdressers
	* Danny Flint, dressed as a man to join the Night's Watch.
	* The Goodwife, the first fool at the royal court in the Red Keep, dressed as a woman.
	* King Loreon V Lannister, a King of the Rock of House Lannister of Casterly Rock, was fond of dressing in his wife's clothing and wandering the docks of Lannisport in the guise of a common whore. He subsequently became known as "Queen Lorea".
	* Racallio Ryndoon, King of the Stepstones, also cross-dressed frequently, and was sometimes referred to as "Queen Racallio."

## Societal Patterns of Gender and Sexuality in Westeros

The societal patterns in Westeros are rather uniform in several aspects. However, several aspects are dependent on the different religions which are practiced in the Seven Kingdoms, and can thus differ between regions.

The customs regarding inheritance and landownership are rather uniform throughout the Kingdoms. Male-preference primogeniture is customary, although not binding, for most nobles. A man's eldest son is his heir, followed by his second son, then his third son, and so on. In theory, the youngest son is followed in the line of succession by the eldest daughter, after whom come her sisters in birth order. A man's daughter inherits before her father’s brother. Although this custom originates from the Andals, the nobles in the North, where the influences of the Andals are minimal and the influences of the First Men remain strong, appear to follow a similar view on inheritance. Only Dorne stands out as an exception, as there no distinction is made between sons and daughters. Instead, children inherit in order of birth regardless of gender, as per Rhoynish custom. In the case of an inheriting female, her last name will be passed on to her children, instead of the name of her husband. When a ruling lord dies and leaves no clear heir, his widow might lay claim upon his lands and rule until her own death (e.g., Lady Donella Hornwood and Lady Barbrey Dustin), and in such a case, might name an heir by herself.

As such, although the rule of a seat of lands is frequently in male hands, women can inherit lands and have certain political power in their own right. Additionally, women can become regents for their children until these children come of age.

### Faith of the Seven

The Faith of the Seven contains both a male clergy, septons, and a female clergy, septas. They are ruled over by a council of the highest ranking septons and septas, called the Most Devout. Regardless, the head of the Faith, called the High Septon, who is usually elected from among the Most Devout, is always male.
The Faith of the Seven only allows marriages between one man and one woman. Furthermore, incest, defined as a sexual relationship between father and daughter, mother and son, or brother and sister, is considered to be a vile sin by the Faith. Any children born from such unions are considered abominations. Cousin marriages are not considered incest by the Faith, and are relatively common among the nobility of Westeros.

Further the Faith is against homosexual relationships – be they a relationship between two men or a relationship between two women. Nonetheless, homosexual relationships do occur in Westeros, although they are usually kept secret. In Dorne, however, views are considerably less strict, as the Dornish do not see it as a concern if two or more men or women are together.

According to the Faith, men and women were shaped as they are for begetting trueborn children, and as such, children born in wedlock are said to be "*blessed by the Father and Mother*". Although it is not considered to be unexpected for noblemen to have bastard children by followers of the Faith, the Faith does not consider bastards trustworthy. Regardless, they allow female bastards to become septas, Potentially, this might mean that male bastards could become septons. Male bastards can also receive knighthood, which requires them to stand vigil in a sept the night before one receives knighthood.

The Faith considers it to be base and sinful for women to practice prostitution, although brothels can be found everywhere in Westeros. Additionally, the Faith considers it sinful for women to commit adultery. Their view on men committing adultery is not known.

Regardless of the opinions of the Faith, however, members of the society do frequently engage in sexual behaviours the Faith criticizes, such as adultery, homosexual behaviour, and prostitution.

### Old Gods

The Old Gods of the First Men still hold sway in the northern-most kingdom of the Seven Kingdoms, as well as in the lands beyond the Wall. There is no organized priesthood, nor are there holy texts.

Incest, kinslaying, and slavery are considered offensive to the gods. The custom of guest right, on the other hand, is both a sacred and ancient rule, taken very seriously north and south of the Wall – whereas this custom looms far less in the southron kingdoms. There, breaking the guest right is rare, but when it occurs, is punished similarly to the direst of treasons. The origins of the old custom of the first night, which gave the Lords in Westeros the right to bedding newly-wed women before their husbands did, are unknown. However, although the first night was abolished half a century ago, where the old gods rule, the old custom is still practiced, albeit illegally, in some parts of the north.

First cousin marriage is not considered incest under the Faith of the Seven, and the same seems to be true of those who follow the Old Gods in the North (though whether this was always the case, or changed over the centuries due to Andal influence, is unknown).

Although polygamy is absent from the society south of the Wall, several members of the free folk are known to practice such marriage customs.

While the followers of the Old Gods south of the Wall have similar views on gender roles in battle than the rest of Westeros, north of the Wall, female warriors are far more common. The term "spearwives" is used to describe these wildling women. Female warriors are also found among the hill tribes of the Mountains of the Moon along the borders of the Vale of Arryn, descended from First Men who were pushed into the mountains during the Andal Invasion. Female warriors are also present, though still uncommon, in Dorne. The hill tribes led by various chieftains, which can be men or women. The hill tribes feel that every man's voice must be heard in open council, and allow women to speak as well.

### Drowned God

The Drowned God is worshipped by the ironborn, and is the primary religion on the Iron Islands. They have an all-male clergy.

Strength and power are valued on the Iron Islands, and reavers are esteemed the most of all. From their raids, they bring captives, who serve their captors as thralls. Most of the male captives work in the fields or mines. A few, the sons of lords, knights, and rich merchants, might be ransomed for gold. Thralls who can read, write, and do sums might serve as stewards, tutors, and scribes. Older women might become scullions, cooks, seamstresses, weavers, midwives, and such. However, most prized are young women. They might become serving girls, whores, household drudges, or wives to other thralls. However, the fairest, strongest, and most nubile are kept as salt wives.

The ironborn practice a form of limited polygamy: a man can have one true- and freeborn "rock wife". However, he can also have multiple "salt wives", usually women captured on raids. Salt wives are considered more than mere concubines, and any sons born of such unions are not considered bastards, but can inherit should their father have no surviving sons by his rock wife. The number of salt wives a man can support is considered to be an indication of his power, wealth, and virility.

Although women can inherit on the Iron Islands, they are still considered to be the weaker sex. In ancient times, the ironborn had an elective monarchy, in which all the lords and ship captains of the isles gathered to vote for one of their members to be the new king. While women can captain their own ship, the majority of captains are male.

Regular ironborn lords generally seem to follow the same male-preference inheritance law as mainland Westeros.

There have been accounts of men being dragged below decks and used by some of the crew "as a woman". This matches the pattern of Top/Bottom dichotomy often found in strongly male dominated societies, such as the real-life pagan Vikings on which the ironborn are based.

## Societal Patterns of Gender and Sexuality Beyond Westeros

### Valyrian Freehold

In the Valyrian Freehold it had been custom among the dragonlords to marry brother to sister, or, if that was not possible, an uncle to a niece, or an aunt to a nephew (and beyond that, to as close a cousin as possible). This allowed them to keep the bloodline pure. Although polygamous marriages were less common, this practice was accepted as well. After converting to the Faith of the Seven, House Targaryen continued their incestuous marriage customs, despite the fact that the Faith considered incest to be a vile sin. The Doctrine of Exceptionalism was devised at the behest of King Jaehaerys I Targaryen to reconcile the Faith's doctrine with House Targaryen practices.

It is unclear if the ancient Valyrians even made a distinction between male-preference or equal primogeniture; It appears that if the firstborn child was a daughter, she would be wed to her eldest subsequent brother, thereby preventing a conflict over the succession. Aegon I Targaryen was said to have been expected to marry his older sister Visenya "by tradition" – and though he did so, he married his younger sister as well. During the Century of Blood, Lord Aegon Targaryen and his sister-wife Elaena Targaryen were said to have ruled Dragonstone jointly. Valyria had both male and female dragonriders, such as the famed explorer Jaenara Belaerys. This tradition continued after the Doom, as House Targaryen had many female dragonriders until the eventual deaths of the dragons. It is said that several cities throughout the Freehold were governed by "men and women sent out from Valyria", implying that it was not unusual to see women in formal positions of power.

### Free Cities

Eight of the nine Free Cities are colonies founded by the Valyrian Freehold. Each of the nine city-states has its own culture and social patterns:

* Braavos: The ruler of Braavos is the Sealord. Instead of hereditary succession, the Sealord is chosen by Braavosi magisters and keyholders through a convoluted process, and serves for life. The keyholders involved in the vote of the new Sealord are the descendants of the twenty-three founders of the Iron Bank of Braavos. The original twenty-three keyholders comprised sixteen men and seven women. Their descendants now exceed one thousand. Courtesans are held in high esteem among the upper social circles of Braavos - many of whom own their own boats and answer to no one.
* Lorath: Lorath was founded as a Valyrian colony by the worshipers of Boash. They considered all humans to be equal before their god, and thus saw women as equal to men in all matters. This denial of the self extended to the point that adherents came to refer to themselves and others using indefinite pronouns; they did not use names, and referred to themselves as "a man" and "a woman", instead of saying "I", "me", or "mine". While the cult of Boash has long gone extinct, certain of these speaking habits are still used in Lorath today. Nobles regard it as vulgar to speak of one's self directly. When one of the Faceless Men of Braavos uses the identity of "Jaqen H'ghar" of Lorath, he uses this speech pattern.
* Lys: Lys is famed for its bed-slaves, and Lyseni are known to be famously voracious in their search for comely young boys and fair maids with their pillow houses. Lys is also known for the breeding of slaves, mating beauty with beauty, hoping to produce the most lovely courtesans and bedslaves. Aptly, many Lyseni worship a love goddess whose naked, wanton figure graces their coinage.
* Norvos: Ruled by a council of magisters chosen by the bearded priests, who are the only Norvoshi men allowed to have beards. Freeborn men from Norvos, both noble and lowborn, favor long mustachios; Byan Votyris, for instance, dyes his mustachio blue and sweeps it to his ears. Slaves are shaved bare. Norvoshi women also shave off all of their hair, though noblewomen don wigs when in the company of men from other lands and cities. Once they are initiated, the bearded priests are in fact forbidden to cut or shave their hair. Additionally, they practice ritual flagellation as part of their worship.
* Pentos: Pentos is ruled over by a prince with a council of rich magisters. The prince has a mostly ceremonial function, however, while the magisters rule. The prince is chosen from forty families, and must deflower two maidens, the maid of the sea and the maid of the fields, each new year to ensure prosperity on land and sea. If there is famine or war is lost, the magisters sacrifice the prince and slit his throat to appease the gods, then choose a new prince.
* Volantis: Volantis is ruled by three triarchs, chosen annually through festive and tumultuous elections. All freeborn who own land, regardless of gender, are allowed to vote. They are chosen from among the noble families who can prove unbroken descent from old Valyria, and will serve until the first day of the new year. The triarchs are chosen from the two political parties in Volantis: the elephants and the tigers. Some of the first elephants were women, one of whom, Trianna, was returned four times. Volantis has not had a female triarch for three hundred years.

Most of the free cities are home to temples to multiple gods, and have no specific religion practiced within the city walls. The followers of R'hllor, the Lord of Light, have grown greatly in number over the past few centuries, and so, the red priesthood of R'hllor holds sway in all of the free cities and often wields considerable power. The red priesthood buys their slaves as children and makes them priests (both male and female), temple prostitutes, or warriors. Red temples can be found in Braavos, Lys, Myr, Pentos, Tyrosh, Volantis, Selhorys (which falls under Volantis's regulation), and likely Qohor.

One deity of note that is worshipped in Essos is Yndros of the Twilight, who is male by day and female by night. Acolytes of Yndros can supposedly transform themselves from male to female (and vice-versa) in the act of love.

### Slaver's Bay

Women can come to rule over aristocratic families in Meereen in at least some circumstances.

The religion of Slaver's Bay is led by the Graces, an all-female priesthood. The Red Graces practice temple prostitution.

### Qarth

The Qartheen dress in linen, samite and tiger fur. As per Qartheen fashion, women wear Qartheen gowns, which leave one breast exposed. Meanwhile, men favor beaded silk skirts, while warriors wear scaled, copper armor and snouted-helms with copper tusks and long, black silk plumes and some of its guards ride camels. Children might go about naked, wearing only golden sandals and body paint.

Qartheen men and women retain their possessions after marriage. However, there is a marriage custom where, on the day of the wedding, the groom may ask for any one item from his bride's possessions and the bride may ask for any one item of the groom's possessions. Whatever is asked by either cannot be denied. This is seen as a gift of devotion by the bride and groom to each other.

There are both men and women among the Undying Ones, the chief warlocks of Qarth.

### Kingdom of Sarnor

In the ancient kingdom of Sarnor, women and men rode to battle alongside each other.

### Dothraki

The Dothraki are mounted nomads whose warriors are all male. They travel in *khalasars*, which are always led by a male *khal*, who in turn is protected by his three male bloodriders. Meanwhile, their religious leaders are the all-female dosh khaleen ("council of crones"), the widows of dead khals, who assemble in Vaes Dothrak. Their influence is not to be discounted; Even Khal Mengo, who united all the Dothraki during the Century of Blood, heavily relied upon the advice of his widowed mother, the purported witch-queen Doshi.

Among the Dothraki, at least the Khal is known to be allowed to practice polygamy. Additionally, according to the "ancient ways", a Khal might share his Khaleesi with his bloodriders, a custom still practiced in some khalasars.

### Summer Islands

The Summer Islands have very positive attitudes towards sex, seeing it as a joyous and life-affirming act given to humanity as a gift from the gods. They practice temple prostitution and sacred sex worship.

Summer Islander women are considered equal to men, often encountered as warriors, ship captains, or rulers in their own right.

### Thousand Islands

Men and women from the Thousand Islands are completely hairless, with sickly skin. Women file their teeth down to points, while the men "slice the foreskins from their members" – making them the only culture in the known world described as practicing circumcision.

### Yi Ti

The god-emperor of Yi Ti openly keeps dozens of court concubines, though it is unclear if lesser lords do the same. The breakaway kingdom on the island of Leng is ruled by a matrilineal dynasty of god-empresses. By tradition, each empress takes two husbands: one from the ethnically Yi Tish settlers on the north of the island, and one from the native Lengii people remaining on the southern end.

### Bone Mountains

The three surviving city-states of Bayasabhad, Kayakayanaya and Samyriana have all-female warriors, due to the religious belief that only those who give life can take it. According to Addam of Duskendale's account, the warrior-women of the Bone Mountains go about bare breasted, with iron rings through their nipples.

### Jogos Nhai

Each tribe of the Jogos Nhai is led by a *jhat* (war leader) and a moonsinger (combination of priestess, healer, and judge). The *jhat* is usually male and rules over external affairs, while the moonsingers are usually women, who rule over internal affairs. If a young male wishes to be a moonsinger, he can – although he must dress and live as a woman. Similarly, a young female who wishes to be a *jhat* must dress and live as a man. Zhea the Cruel, one of the most famous Jogos Nhai war-leaders in history, who united them all as *jhat* of *jhats* to smash the armies of Yi Ti, was himself born a biological female.

## Non-human races

Not much is known about the cultures of non-human sapient races, who have dwindled to near-extinction in recent millennia.

* Scattered accounts of the Children of the Forest state that their females hunted and fought alongside their males.
* Among the fur-covered, Sasquatch-like race of Giants, it is observed that their females look very similar to their males
* As for "The Others", the "white walkers" of the Long Night, there hasn't been any confirmation that they even have females - though the legend of the Night's Queen (if true) seems to imply that this is possible. Some Northern scary nursery stories claim that the Others kidnap human women to sire foul half-Other children with them - though this may just be a tale to frighten misbehaving children. Even if there are female Others, however, that doesn't necessarily mean they even reproduce at all - or whether they are ice demons of some sort, never "born", but just happening to have gender.

Dragons, while not a sapient race but animals (albeit very intelligent ones), are still noteworthy for their relatively unusual reproductive biology. Dragons have no fixed gender differentiation - according to Barth, dragons are “but now one and now the other, as changeable as flame”, presumably meaning that they are able to change from one sex to the other. This knowledge was later lost, with many maesters doubting that was true. Maester Yandel indicates he believed a dragon to be female if it had laid eggs. He took the fact that Vermax was never observed laying eggs as proof that it must have been male.

## Contraception

Condoms are not present in the medieval world of Westeros. The only birth control that men ever make use of in Westeros is the withdrawal method (*Coitus interruptus*).

Women may rely on several herbal mixtures as a means of contraception or abortion, most notably "Moon tea" (also known as "tansy tea"). One of the main ingredients in moon tea is a drop of Pennyroyal.

The views of major religions in Westeros and beyond on contraception and abortion have not been stated. Women seem to obtain moon tea from itinerant woods witches at the fringes of society more often than they obtain it from maesters. Devout members of the Faith oppose it, however, as it "murders the fruit of fornication".

The Free Folk beyond the Wall similarly use moon tea for abortions: Prostitutes in brothels frequently use moon tea.