Heaven Heist – Sc. 1: “You’re going to hell, you know that?”

### Listen:

https://maximumfun.org/episodes/story-break/heaven-heist-sc-1-youre-going-hell-you-know/

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Heaven Heist – Sc. 2: Stacks of Cold Hard Cash

## Scene 1

We meet the gang of criminals taking a moment before their heist to pray for good fortune…

## The read through

*Heaven Heist Music*

**Will as Script:**EXT. Shrine. Day.

A well worn statue of Caishen, the Chinese god of wealth and prosperity, sits in a shrine in a public park overlooking Kowloon Bay. Atop is tiger wielding the golden rod, Caishen smiles up through a big bushy mustache as two adorable children- Keith and Julia- kneel before the shrine, hands clasped around burning incense sticks as they offer a prayer.

**Freddie as child**: Here, Caishen. Please bring wealth and prosperity to mommy and daddy's new restaurant. They work so hard, and we just want them to be happy again.

**Script:**As the kids pray, a shadow falls over them, as four omninous figures in cool suits step up to the shrine. Tequila, a gruff, burly gangster, grabs the kids by the scruff and shoves them away from the shrine.

**Matt as Tequila:**Scram, brats. We're in a hurry here.

**Script:**Julie and Keith run away crying.

*Freddie makes crying sounds*

**Script:**Tequila and three more gangsters kneel at the shrine. Tequila offers an orange to Caishen.

**Tequila:**Oh wise and benevolent Caishen, please watch over my crew and let today's currency heist be an especially prosperous one.

**Script:**He elbows the next gangster in line, Brandy, 20s, bomber jacket, mean scowl.

**Tequila:**Brandy, you're up.

**Script:**Brandy cracks her knuckles and ponies up an orange.

**Freddie as Brandy:**Caishen, please let my shotgun aim true.

**Tequila:** Hey, hey! No killing today.

**Script:**Brandy rolls her eyes.

**Brandy:**Then let my knuckles make a dentist very prosperous.

**Script:**Tequila looks past her at Cognac, fancy pantsuit, $4000 sunglasses, super cool demeanor. She sets an orange on the shrine.

**Tequila:**Cognac.

**Freddie as Cognac:**Please let my Jimmy Choos go unscuffed, and should the security camera pick me up, please let my hair look AMAZING.

**Tequila:**No one's gonna see your hair! We're all wearing these!

**Script:**He throws a ski mask at her. She looks at it with disgust.

**Tequila:**Whisky, let's go.

**Script:**Tequila glances at Whisky, 19, acne, ill-fitting reservoir dogs suit. Whisky nervously offers his orange and offers a prayer.

**Freddie as Whisky:**Please watch over those kids and let their parents find happiness-

**Script:**All the other gangsters whack him on the head in annoyance.

*Whisky crying out in pain in the bg*

**Script:**He offers a second orange.

**Whisky:**Please make sure no one gets hurt on our heist today.

**Script:**All the gangsters bow in reference. A scowl forms on Tequila's face as he tosses a sarcastic question over his shoulder.

**Tequila:**Last chance, Gin. anything you'd like to add?

**Script:**Cocky Kyle, AKA Gin, a jaded, handsome gangster, leans out the window from behind the wheel of a Hong Kong taxi cab. He takes a cigarette out of his mouth and takes a big chomp from an orange.

**Freddie as Gin:**No.

**Tequila:**Hey! Those oranges were an offering!

**Script:**Kyle, indifferent, takes one last drag from his cigarette then flicks it at the shrine. All four gangsters gasp in horror as the cigarette flies past them and bounces off Caishen. Whisky hurriedly dusts off the statue and bows profusely.

**Whisky:**Please forgive our getaway driver.

**Gin:**We're late. Let's go.

**Script:**The gangsters walk over to the car and hop inside. Tequila buckles into the passenger seat and shakes his head at Kyle.

**Tequila:**You're going to Hell, you know that?

**Gin:**Ain't no such thing. Babeeeee!

*The bois laugh.*