Emily and Caldwell's Introductions

## **Introductions**

Interjections that are usually on theme of the episode that occur after Murph says some variation of "joined as always by my comedy slash life partner" for Emily and some pet name for Caldwell.

## Emily's Introductions

Episode 1 -  "Hi!"

Episode 2 - "Hi thee, good listeners."

Episode 3 - "Warmest greetings listeners."

Episode 4 - "Hi thee." Later changed due to Caldwell's awesome intro to "Emily emerges from a bathysphere and then waves hello."

Episode 5 - "Godspeed ye."

Episode 6 - "Good morrow, mine lord."

Episode 7 - "Hell take me, I'm here."

Episode 8 - "Aye."

Episode 9 - "Just thrumming with excitement to be here... Truly thrumming."

Episode 10 - "That'd be me."

Episode 11 - "Leapin' Lizards, it's good to be here!"

Episode 12 - "I choose... to be here!"

Episode 13 - "♪♫It's beginning to look a lot like Chomp-mas.♫♪"

Episode 14 - "Fictitiously glad to be here."

Episode 15 - "Konichiwa."

Episode 16 - "A metal city greetin' to ya." (Said in an (Australian?) accent.)

Episode 17 - "EGG-cited to be here, Murph." (Emily wanted to introduce herself as this after making the same egg pun.)

Episode 18 - "By the blessing of Kurath(?), I am here."

Episode 19 - "I can't D'NI... I'm excited to be here."

Episode 20 - "Let's get twisteeeeed."

Episode 21 - "A bird hello to you."

Episode 22 - "The Shadow Princess herself."

Episode 23 - "Excited to jump down this hole with ya, fellas."

Episode 24 - "Eeeexactly where I want to be right now, thanks." (Might have been an egg reference, but probably not.)

Episode 25 - "Yo!"

Episode 26 - "Power sleeps within you, give it form and it will give you strength."

Episode 27 - "Mommyyy..." (Murph didn't know it was a quote from Tommy, the weak child from the Digimon manga.)

Episode 28 - "Spirits of the forest... Unite!"

Episode 29 - "Fffsss.... Pleasure to be here."

Episode 30 - "I can't get no ressssssspek." (In reference to Ssssspider..., the poisonous snake.)

Episode 31 - \*Not present due to being out of town, but since the podcast needs at least one life slash comedy partner, Susanna, Caldwell's wife, appeared as a guest.\*

Episode 32 - "..." (Emily was told by the other two to stop joking about poddies, so she didn't introduce herself, but Caldwell said, "Guys, get ready, this episode, get ready for Sassy Emily.")

Episode 33 - "KamehameHAAAA!"

Episode 34 - ".............. \*whisper roar\*" (A attempt on a dragon's hello.)

Episode 35 - ".... As you will, war chief." (Deemed PRETTY GOOD for the first one back! by Murph.)

Episode 36 - "For the nothingness that awaits!"

Episode 37 - "Sluiced to be here, Murph."

Episode 38 - "You haven't even read the websites, Murph! HAVE YOU READ THE WEBSITES, MURPH? Murph, have you read the websites?? Murph, have you read the websites? I'M ASKING YOU A QUESTION, have you read the websites??? Then why are you trying to go to Silent Hill???? Read the websites before you go to Silent Hill! I showed her the websites, she didn't care!"

Episode 39 - "Hi."

Episode 40 - "Okay, here's one for your- here's one for your welcome mat: 'Don't be a quitter, be a critter!'" (Murph was baffled by this. He didn't know what that is.)

Episode 41 - "I ate too much steak fat and I'm gonna vom. Sorry, I know that wasn't thematic or anything like that, I just..."

Episode 42 - "hey."

Episode 43 - "Stinky in the feet to be here."

Episode 44 - "Panic. Drowns. Thought. Did you guys EVEN READ FAR ENOUGH to know what that reference was?"

Episode 45 - "WHAT brings yar skanky hide t'Kahngo Bahngo?" (Done as Kranky Kong.)

Episode 46 - "Merry Pac-mas."

Episode 47 - "Hello!"

Episode 48 - "Lookin' gooood."

Episode 49 - "It's different, it's hip, and I enjoyed it." (Caldwell responded "you piece of sh\*t, you monster" to Emily since she jacked his intro.)

Episode 50 - "Lookin' foward to a ***FUN GUY***" (fungi) \*\*\*\*HINT\*\*\*\*

Episode 51 - "'Sup bitch." (Not really on theme but okay.)

Episode 52 - "IT'S tail time." (Emily stole Caldwell's intro AGAIN, but did so unplanned without her devastatingly mischievous laugh.)

Episode 53 - "Iiiit's STILL tail tiiiime!"

Episode 54 - "It's-t's-t's-ttt's-ttt''ssss'ts'sststst STILL TAIL TiiiiiIIIIiMeeEE."

Episode 55 - "Just sittin' pretty cuz today is my life's fantasies come to.................. life."

Episode 56 - "LIKE, DIS IS BANANAS!" (In voice of Funky Kong.)

Episode 57 - "...Uuuiuhh Idiiidn'thaaaveooonewaaaita- More like Mega WOMAN! Cool. That'll fly."

Episode 58 - "Mega excited to be here."

Episode 59 - "Metal to be here!"

## Caldwell's Introductions

Episode 1 - "The power is yours."

Episode 2 - "Light be with you."

Episode 3 - "So happy to be cloaked."

Episode 4 - "A man chooses, a slave listens."

Episode 5 - "Um, I'd like to be refered to from now on as 'Caldwell the Human'."

Episode 6 - "I am your housecarl as always."

Episode 7 - "As it was, as it shall be."

Episode 8 - "May the light keep you."

Episode 9 - "I'm pregnant with energy... and excitement."

Episode 10 - "I'mma gonna win." (as a Wario impression.)

Episode 11 - "It'za meee." (as a Luigi impression.)

Episode 12 - "Pika-pi" (as NPR's Pikachu)

Episode 13 - "In the ghost flesh himself."

Episode 14 - "Life truly is *Stranger Than Fiction*, starring Will Ferrell."

Episode 15 - "To fight is to live."

Episode 16 - "It's been Miles... since we read the last game book..... but...... I"m ready for more." (Deemed "PERFECT" by Murph.)

Episode 17 - "I'm just here to learn."

Episode 18 - "The catastrophe the brought down D'ni shall surely bring us all down as well."

Episode 19 - "This is one book you can't judge by its cover." (Voted by Emily as Caldwell's worst introduction.)

Episode 20 - "I hope you guys brought flashlights, cuz things are about to get DARK." (Voted by Caldwell as Caldwell's worst introduction.)

Episode 21 - "Uh, I.... this book slingshotted me.... right to hell, cuz I hated it."

Episode 22 - "Fuck you, Ganondorf! Evil shall not prevail this week, cuz I got the tri-force of comedy, ready to give you some of them... legendary chuckles." (Caldwell had to trade the tri-force of power, so he's weak as hell.)

Episode 23 - "I'm so ready for Tactical, Espionage, Podcast, Action."

Episode 24 - "This... Today's episode is gonna be way past cool." (Murph doesn't know that Sonic says this, Caldwell and even Emily know this.)

Episode 25 - ♪♫ When you walk away, you don't hear me say... pleeeeeaaaase... oh baaabyyy... don't go, simple and clean is the way that we're podcasting here, tonight. It's Kingdom Hearts, baby.♫♪

Episode 26 - "I pledge my heart to King Mickey, now I'm forever... I would kill or be killed for him."

Episode 27 - "Stop! If you're listening to this part of the podcast, you're listening to it backwards! Haven't you ever listened to manga related podcasts before? Flip the podcast over and start around that way."

Episode 28 - "Roll for podcast." (In a nerdy, nasal voice.) \*Rolls a four\*

Episode 29 - "I'm still raw about Jack."

Episode 30 - "John El-No Way, I Can't Believe What Happened Last Episode."

Episode 31 - "Get over here."

Episode 32 - "Caldwell Teener, cuz I'm just a little guy... Unlike Luigi, who is very tall." ("He's just a teeny little teener! A teener little boy.")

Episode 33 - "I had a whole thing about Koopas ready and you fucking threw it off."

Episode 34 - "I covet gold.. above all things."

Episode 35 - "There's no place like Hearthstone."

Episode 36 - "Ironforge............. ironforge." (Emily's instinct for Caldwell was to make the squeaky noises that Jaina's tight midriff makes. Also, Caldwell had such a good one last time, but was fully thrown off by Emily's strangeness due to her anticipation of the controversial Brownie statments.)

Episode 37 - "A dinnae think that I can get anymore excited forrr this show." (Done in a Scottish accent.)

Episode 38 - "It's Sean BEAN a delight!"

Episode 39 - "I got two tails and zero problems."

Episode 40 - "I am sluiced, juiced, and ready to cut loose." (Also for the welcome mat, or the wall tattoo, or the wall typography, along with "In this house, we love critters". Emily's is "sluiced, juiced, and tying a noose.")

Episode 41 - "I love...... to sit........ on.............. other yoshis..... it's a sex thing for me."

Episode 42 - "Don't vaccinate your kids! I think King K. Rool has some good ideas!" (Done as Libertarian Funky Kong.)

Episode 43 - "Goomba see you as always." (Emily suggest this be the 8 bit book bud greeting, with Namaste hands, if you get a tingly in your janglees.)

Episode 44 - "Moo."

Episode 45 - "Hi Creamy, I mean, Caaandyyy, I mean Murphy."

Episode 46 - "Ba.... hum........ cube."

Episode 47 - Gotta roll... 2... not very fast, I guess."

Episode 48 - "Strong Hogs 2017."

Episode 49 - "Hi, I'm upset"

Episode 50 - "I am green with envy for how much fun everyone is going to have, listening to this podcast." \*\*\*\*HINT\*\*\*\*

Episode 51 - "Hey, what's up, it's me: The Music Bitch."

Episode 52 - "Hi, it's-, it's me, Tim, the tool... tailman taylor."

Episode 53 - "My toes are sticky... and my mind is ready." (Also: \*suction noises\* Emily: "What's that? That's the sound of a gecko fingering you.)

Episode 54 - "I've got a hot load of gek and i'm ready... to splek."

Episode 55 - "Darkness and Starlight won't keep me from enjoying this podcast."

Episode 56 - "Too Funky to live, too kranky to die."

Episode 57 - "I'm good and wiley... and ready to read a book."

Episode 58 - "Tread Doctor Light-ly. And... carry a big stick... and by big stick I do mean a giant blade that you use to kill your foes." (Caldwell later agrees that Emily's proposed change: "Carry a big Quick... Man" would've been better.)

Episode 59 - "I got two tails and zero problems."

## Murph's Name For Caldwell

Episode 1 -  "A truly good boy."

Episode 2 - "Sir Caldwell of Tanner."

Episode 3 - "My other comedy slash life partner."

Episode 4 - "Super good boy, super cool dude."

Episode 5 - "My other comedy slash life partner."

Episode 6 - "My other wench." Murph also answered to Emily "Aye, wench," in response to her intro.

Episode 7 - "My other wife slash comedy partner."

Episode 8 - "My other comedy slash life partner."

Episode 9 - "True thrummer."

Episode 10 - "Saucy little goblin... Saucy little Waluigi... or Wario?"

Episode 11 - "My saucy little goblin."

Episode 12 - "My favorite little pokémon, that I keep in a little ball."

Episode 13 - "Pac-man's very special little helper."

Episode 14 - "The guy I write all my slash fic with."

Episode 15 - "Mishima Zaibatsu's very own grand leader."

Episode 16 - "My little two-tailed fox friend."

Episode 17 - "My little two-tailed fox... He's always my little buddy." (As noted by Emily, Murph introduces Caldwell as some kind of pet of his.)

Episode 18 - "My favorite little puzzle."

Episode 19 - "My LIFE slash comedy partner." (Murph introduced Emily as his wife slash comedy partner instead of the usual life slash comedy partner in this episode.)

Episode 20 - "Psycho, twister driver."

Episode 21 - "The angriest bird of all."

Episode 22 - "My, uh.... shadow..... uh, stableboy." (Murph was the Shadow King this episode.)

Episode 23 - "Liquid Snake..." (Murph didn't know a Metal Gear thing to call Caldwell.)

Episode 24 - "My beautiful little two-tailed fox."

Episode 25 - "My ummm.... my goofy...... uh, my, **uh**, royal ***uh***, magician."

Episode 26 - "The royal magician."

Episode 27 - "Digi-destined to save the digital world."

Episode 28 - "My little will-o'-wisp."

Episode 29 - "My other life slash comedy partner."

Episode 30 - "The winged kobold, himself."

Episode 31 - "The Scorpion to my Sub-Zero."

Episode 32 - "The Luigi to my Mario, Caldwell Tonnor."

Episode 33 - "Why not, the Krillin to my Goku."

Episode 34 - "Young, green dragon."

Episode 35 - "The Varian to my Lo'Gosh."

Episode 36 - "Jaina Proudmoore's midriff, himself."

Episode 37 - "Fury of earth, Gordawg a.k.a. Caldwell Tanner."

Episode 38 - "Our cohost, Caldwell Tanner a.k.a. Pierre A. Midhead." (Emily prefers Pierre Ahmed Head, or Pierre Ahmed Midhead.)

Episode 39 - "Sally Acorn, HIMself."

Episode 40 - "Miles Caldwell Prower, himself."

Episode 41 - "The original green Yoshi, himself."

Episode 42 - "Libertarian Funky Kong."

Episode 43 - "Wendy O. Koopa, himself."

Episode 44 - "Cute little Chickaduck."

Episode 45 - "Scurvy pirate."

Episode 46 - "Santa Pac's Merry Berry lil' elf."

Episode 47 - "Caldwell Miles Prower, himself."

Episode 48 - "Awful, awful gamebook player, who made our dump stats speed."

Episode 49 - "And Caldwell Tanner, who is upset." (He said "You [Emily] stole it! Caldwell was gettin' psyched, he looked up- Caldwell looked up that quote to get it right as his intro line, and Emily f\*cking jacked it. We're also here with Caldwell Tanner, who just got his line jacked. Caldwell, how do you feel? Let's do a post-game interview for that own. On that devastating own," as a response to Emily's jacking of Caldwell's line. It was different, it was rude, and he did not enjoy it.)

Episode 50 - "The bonus action to my action."

Episode 51 - "Aerith Gainsborough to my Cloud Strife."

Episode 52 - "Tail... Time..., the... guy himself, what." (Murph also introduces himself as Al Tail-land.

Episode 53 - "The gecko extraordinaire, himself."

Episode 54 - "A critter who is irresistible to real human women."

Episode 55 - "The human embodiment of magitek armor that protects me."

Episode 56 - "Little buddy." (In the voice of Donkey Kong)

Episode 57 - "The Proto Man to my Mega Man."

Episode 58 - "The former robot that just turned into a real boy."

Episode 59 - "Two tailed little buddy"

## Guest Intros

* Caldiem was introduced as "Saucy little goblin" in Episode 9 by Murph. He said "Welcome back to my chambers," in a saucy, sluicing, little voice.
* Nathan Yaffe in Caldwell's Lore Corner introduced himself by saying "I'm Nathan! I'm Brian and Emily." Caldwell insulted him by saying that they fused like Dragon Ball Z, into a worse person, but went on to introduce him as his good buddy, his life and art partner, in the vein of Murph's intro for Emily.
* Susanna Wolff, in Episode 31, was introduced as Caldwell's life slash comedy partner, as a guest. She introduces herself by saying "hi".
* In the Summer Hiatus Announcement, Murph does his usual introductions, but is joined by no one, because it was just a boring announcement.
* Jake Hurwitz in Episode 50 introduced himself by saying "It's me." because the audience was supposed to guess who the guest of the episode was.
* Special Guest Kylo Ren (played by an Adam Driver doll) in episode 55 introduced himself by saying "I've been waiting for you.,, I need your guidance.... Will you help me?!..... Show me again!,.,,,, Power,,,,,,Don't be afraid........\*Lightsaber turning on\*................ *NOOO*O~~oo~~**oOOOoOOoO**oOOoOO!!!!!!" (He doesn't shut up, you touch the button once and he keeps going every 30 seconds.)
* In the Upcoming Hiatus Announcement, there are no fun introductions. Just sad news.