Potato Tank

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## Tactical Analysis

* **Because I'm a potato:** Purchased from the Soviet Union for mass manufacture in Uruguay's factories, the Potato Tank once again rides to the battlefield with its newfound purpose: incinerating the capitalist tyrants with its retrofitted flamethrowers while some measure of added armor is placed to allow it to survive to get into range of garrisoned machine gunners. Enemy soldiers who mock the Potato for its name and size won't be definitely laughing as the tank torches them alive with its weapons.

* **Bringing the house down:** The flamethrowers' nozzles can even be tightened to give them an edge against structures and a greater edge against infantry, although its ranged will be reduced.

* **South American deep-frying:** Tank commanders, static defenses and infantry with heavier weapons, however, just simply laugh the Potato off before sending it back to the scrap heap due to its fragility.

* **Fan the flames:** A special gift from the PLA, some Potato tanks have the gift of Black Napalm from recipes smuggled from the Chinese wastelands as part of the PLA's alliance with the MIR. Such potato tanks with Black Napalm can even melt tank armour, never mind lighter targets who can do little but be incinerated by the all-consuming heat.

## Background

***"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' A 'TATER?!"***

- Potato Tank operator while burning down Legionnaires.
**Brazilian-Uruguayan Border, November 18, 1968**

*Station 33*

*Staff Immune Alexandre Imhoff (#373722), Hoplite João Madruga (#193729), Hoplite Otávio Ventura (#322048), Hoplite Murilo Braga (#203282), Legionnaire Estafanía Madruga (#273940), Legionnaire Suzana Tavares (#102827), Legionnaire Lucas Conceição (#528201), Legionnaire Elza Nakata (#492103)*

*Transcript of recorded events*

**Conceição**: While there isn't anything we're tasked to shoot outside, let's talk about our best experiences in the field.

**João Madruga**: Good idea. By the way, I've been wondering, what's taking Otávio and my wife so long outside?

**Imhoff**: Well, your wife is probably cheating on you with him. I mean, Ventura can provide more for her than you as you already spent it all in drugs...

**Madruga**: Come on, my wife can't do this to me! You have gotta to be fucking with me!

**Imhoff**: What happened to you, *companheiro*? It's been months in this box and you already lost your sense of humor.

**Ventura**: Besides, the last time they talked to me via AURA, they said they were paid by some low-din Allied boss to fight Marxist guerrillas in their hideout far from here. They'd done enough damage to their operations, they said.

'*Madruga*: Are they still alive?

**Ventura**: I don't know... but they did tell me some interesting things about those commie guerrillas.

**Nakata**: Hey, would you mind to speak less loudly? I'm trying to look out for any hostile sappers, we don't want them to go near, right?

**Conceição**: So, what's up with those commies?

**Madruga**: And what's up with my wife?

**Ventura**: Alright, alright, I'll tell you right now. They told me they went to this commie hideout to flush out any guerrillas from the area. Thanks to some locals, they told Estafanía and her buddies that a part of the town has been a guerrilla haven for too long. At first, they thought they were just those knife nuts who charge at us like maniacs and irregular militia in their side, but when they went in, however...

*(Scuffling sounds are heard, followed by a shout of: **DOWN WITH THE CAPITALIST TYRANTS!** )*

**Imhoff**: What the hell was that?

**Nakata**: Contact! Enemy guerrillas, 9 o' clock! Arm yourselves, guys!

**Conceição**: Requiescat in pace, bitches!

**Madruga**: My rifle is ready to kneecap some commies, so shut up! Tell me more, Ventura, what happened to my wife and colleagues?

**Ventura**: They were tricked. They didn't find any guerrillas inside the apartment, they even made sure every room was checked. But when they went outside, well...

**Imhoff**: Shut the fuck up and defend the rest of us with your shitty lives, Conceição needs help in gunning them down, you know!

*Shots are heard, followed by cries from wounded guerrillas*

**Tavares**: Come on, he might say something beneficial, so don't shut him up!

**Ventura**: Let me continue... yeah... There were tanks outside. They don't have cannons, rather they have fucking flamethrowers. They had no chance against it, so when they tried to run, those knife nuts surrounded them. The last thing I heard about them is a blazing inferno...

**Madruga**: So, these commie bastards killed my wife, then! Gentleman, spare no commie in our midst and shoot them all-

*The noise of several heavy-duty engines picks up and swells, upon reaching near the recorder the sounds of flamethrowers firing nearby is heard.*

**Imhoff**: What the... They have those tanks that Ventura just talked about! And they're going near! And they're torching every one of our soldiers outside! Good thing we have him-

**Madruga**: He's dead, one of those commies pulled out a machete and threw at it his face!

**Imhoff**: Dammit, now we have no chance against enemy armour! Everybody else who isn't dead yet, try to protect me as I contact Legion Security-

*The noise from the flamethrowers swivels towards the recorder, indicating the acropolis is under fire. Creaking noises start spearing.*

**Madruga**: SCREW YOU, KARL MARX! SCREW YOU, STALIN! HELP! HELP! HEEE-

*Cackling noises indicate the fire has reached the interior of the bunker.*

**Nakata**: YOU FORGOT CHE GUEVARA, DUMBASS!

**Imhoff**: Enough with the fucking bickering and keep shooting! Legion Security, Legion Security, can you- what... the communication relay is busted! HELP, HELP! HELP!

**Conceição**: ANYONE OUT THERE?! HELP US!

*Log ends*