Q02E03 - Prolongus Ejaculus!

## Prolongus Ejaculus! / Prolongus Erectus

Lyndsay's OTP is Rondsay

This episode was streamed live on Facebook.

This episode is the second of four reading "Need You Now" by thewaterfalcon.

Depending on where you are listening to this episode, it might be titled "Prolongus Ejaculus!" (itunes) or "Prolongus Erectus" (Pocketcasts and potentially others).

## Episode Summary

Ron shows a wanton desire for Pansy, but is it love? That's a whole other kettle of squids.

## Notable Moments

* The hosts joke that they had a "whole team debrief" on what to call these episodes and it appears there might have been some unresolved dissent since they seem to be titled different things in different places.
* "Because your boyfriend Draco is like, 'Sorry babe. I'm at the club. But I love you, let's fuck later." ~ Lyndsay
* Allie came dressed as "90s Spice" in overalls and a CK bralet.
* The threesome reminisce about jokes they missed out on and regret not making whenever they relisten to past episodes.
* Danny wants to make "wanton" a part of his everyday vocabulary. He's wanton for wontons.
* Hosts theorize that magical tattoos should move.
	+ Allie wonders what her chinese symbol tramp stamp tattoo would do. Lyndsay jokes it would change to read "You made a big mistake" or "NO!"
* Hosts joke that once they get 100 itunes reviews they'll get tattoos. Lyndsay's will say "Weasley is my King" across her chest. or perhaps "Ronton me" (i.e. her favourite kind of "wanton")
* "Any chance you get, you try to make Ron the LEAST sexy as possible." ~Lyndsay calls Allie out on her Ron Bashing
* Drinking game: Drink when there's "wetness"
* Pansy is doing sexual yoga poses (Amy Jane dubs it "hot" yoga)
* If you don't know what you're doing sex-wise, there's always a trusty *Obliviate* (AKA the "Lockhart")
* "And then she felt a third hand...WHAT?! Plughorn!"
* Allie offends Lyndsay with her terrible Ron voice.
* "We have removed ALL sex from this." ~ Danny
* Danny notes that if he was a wizard he would prolong it (Allie jokes about using The Black Cloth)
* Amy Jane proposes a new drinking game: drink whenever Allie does her terrible Ron voice (Lyndsay drinks to forget it)
* "Awwww. Wands down" ~ Allie
* Lyndsay provides the elevator voice.
* Falling asleep on top of someone is a total power move. Good luck slipping away in the morning!
* "A different kettle of squids" may be the best new phrase ever.

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Ron's a super stud and despite her voice she is into it.

Danny: Up

* Liked the teasing and that sex can lead to love

Lyndsay: Up

* Allie's Ron voice is the only thing that she didn't like

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* Kylie gets thanked for her "I'd let Ron Weasley pick me up from the airport" cross stitch that she sent them.
* Rachel is thanked for being the "Potterotic Picasso" for drawing the sexy owls, silken pubes on Snape, etc., pug-faced Pansy. Later the hosts request her to bring "a different kettle of squids" to life (@pinksugarheart picks up the gauntlet on that)
* Maisie Bee wrote the very first Potterotica Podcast exclusive fanfic, which is later read in Q03 - The OG Wands Up
* Potterotics watching the FB Live stream: Chelsea, Stephanie, Amy, Christie, Katelyn, Belinda, Amy Jane (who was conscripted into elf labour by the hosts to knit scarves, and also coins "hot yoga" and a proposed drinking game), Artemis
* Wands ups: Amy, Belinda, Jordan, Katie, Kylie, Jordan, Maggie, Christie, Courtney, Alexa