Weirdest Poem Ever

## Subpages

**Weirdest Poem Ever** is the ninth episode of *TSM The Amazing Race 9: New Connection*.

## Story

Leg 9 (Based off Leg 10 of The Amazing Race 22)

The race resumes at Bergrestaurant-Moos.

White & War will depart 1st.

**Route Info:** Teams must fly to Edinburgh, Scotland, United Kingdom. Upon arrival, teams must drive themselves to the Gosford House to find their next clue.

**Caution... Double U-Turn Ahead!**

All teams are on the same flight.

Flight lands.

**White:** "War, turn."

**Cloud:** "Left."

**Jack:** "That way."

**Soccer:** "First ones here, do you see that Tik Tok."

**Cloud:** "We're right behind you."

**Roadblock:** One team member must dress in the uniform of the Royal Scots regiment and learn to play a drone on a set of bagpipes while marching with the Royal Scots pipers in Gosford House's Marble Room for two minutes. When the bagpipes instructor is pleased with their performance, he will award them with their next clue.

Soccer is doing the RB

Abe is doing the RB

Ashley is doing the RB

Jack is doing the RB

War is doing the RB

**War:** "We have to wear skirts?!"

**Jack:** "It's called a kilt."

**Red:** "Yo Abe, what's under that thing?!"

**Abe:** "That's none of your business."

**Ashley:** "I am rocking this outfit!"

**Halcy:** "GO GIRL!"

**Soccer:** "Alright Tik Tok, watch me try and learn how to play this."

**War:** "Whoa, that sounded more like a fart than music."

**Abe:** "This is my kind of task right here."

**Red:** "No fair, Abe is good at this kind of stuff, RIGGED!"

**Jack:** "I'll figure it out Red, don't worry."

**Halcy:** "Come on Ashley, we're leaving those flops in the dust, see that ugly tree."

Abe finishes the RB currently in 1st place.

**Route Info:** Teams must drive themselves to Sheep Heid Inn in Duddingston and play a game of skittles, a traditional British form of ten-pin bowling. Once they manage to score a "floorer", a strike, they'll receive their next clue. Only two lanes are available and if both team members fail, they must head to the back of any line that has been formed.

War finishes the RB currently in 2nd place.

**White:** "PERIOD!"

Ashley finishes the RB currently in 3rd place.

Jack finishes the RB currently in 4th place.

Soccer finishes the RB currently in Last place.

**Sonic:** "I'm gonna destroy that stupid phone of yours if you keep putting us in last place."

**Soccer:** "Hey, can't help the fact that I have fans and you don't."

**Sonic:** "..."

Cloud & Abe start bowling.

White & War start bowling.

Halcy & Ashley start bowling.

**Abe:** "I am not a bowler lol"

**Cloud:** "Wow. That's so different without the holes."

**War:** "That was way off. Not even close."

**White:** "It's your butter fingers. OKAY! RACIST!"

**Halcy:** "Maybe if I try it like this. Nope."

**Ashley:** "You will fall! Rats!"

**Cloud:** "I'll just roll it... STRIKE, YES!"

**Abe:** "Nice!"

Cloud & Abe finish bowling currently in 1st place.

**Route Info:** Teams must drive themselves to Craigmillar Castle and search the fireplaces for their next clue.

Jack & Red start bowling.

Soccer & Sonic start bowling.

**Red:** "Why can't this be American bowling?"

**Sonic:** "Cause we're not in America smart one."

Cloud & Abe find the correct fireplace currently in 1st place.

**Detour:** Tasty Puddin' or Whiskey Rollin'

**Choice A:** *Tasty Puddin'*
Teams would have to travel to the Sheep Heid Inn in Duddingston where they had to prepare haggis with oatmeal and ox intestine, in the presence of a Robert Burns impersonator who recited Burns' poem "Address to a Haggis". Once they've each prepared four portions of haggis and have a taste of one, they will be given the next clue.

**Choice B:** *Whiskey Rollin'*
Teams would have to roll eight barrels of Scotch whiskey up a slope, delivering them to a party. Once they've delivered all eight barrels, a Scottish country dancer will give them their next clue.

Cloud & Abe are doing Tasty Puddin'

**Abe:** "That's where we just came from."

**White:** "YO! HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS?"

**Sonic:** "You stupid pin! I needed you down!"

**Halcy:** "Nine out of ten. Sucks to be you."

**Cloud:** "This stuff smells."

(Robert Burns impersonator walks in.)

**Robert Burns:** "Hello, I am the poet, Robert Burns. This is my "Address to a Haggis"."

"Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
As lang's my arm."

**Cloud:** "I want to switch."

**Abe:** "Thank you Mr. Burns."

Cloud & Abe switch detours.

**Abe:** "Weirdest poem ever."

**Red:** "I saw Cloud & Abe wondering around out there so they must be lost looking for the bar. No wonder since Abe doesn't drink, what a loser."

**White:** "When will this idiot realize they've finished already?"

**Sonic:** "Welp, that sucked."

**Soccer:** "HA!"

Soccer & Sonic finish bowling currently in 2nd place.

**Red:** "How'd they finish so fast?"

**Jack:** "Well, we're about to be behind them!"

Jack & Red finish bowling currently in 3rd place.

**White:** OKAY!!! THIS IS RACIST!!!"

**Ashley:** "Why can't the balls have holes in them! I can barely throw it!"

**War:** "Come on dad."

**White:** "I HATE THIS GAME! WHY DO PEOPLE PLAY THIS!"

Cloud & Abe finish detour currently in 1st place.

**Route Info:** Teams must travel on foot to Duddingston Kirk to find their next clue.

Soccer & Sonic find the correct fireplace currently in 2nd place.

Soccer & Sonic are doing Whiskey Rollin'

Jack & Red find the correct fireplace currently in 3rd place.

Jack & Red are doing Whiskey Rollin'

**Halcy:** "This isn't fun anymore. These pins need to go down!"

**War:** "Gutter ball."

**Ashley:** "There we go!"

Halcy & Ashley finish bowling currently in 4th place.

**Sonic:** "This hill is steep."

Sonic loses barrel.

Red jumps over barrel.

**Red:** "Hey, look out! This is not donkey kong!"

**White:** "FINALLY!"

White & War finish bowling currently in Last place.

Cloud & Abe make it to the uturn board.

**Abe:** "Should we use it?"

**Cloud:** "I don't really want to use it, it feels mean."

**Abe:** "Ok, we won't then."

Cloud & Abe choose not to uturn anyone.

**Route Info:** Teams must drive themselves to Niddry Street South to check in. The last team to check in may be eliminated.

Halcy & Ashley find the correct fireplace currently in 4th place.

Halcy & Ashley are doing Tasty Puddin'

**Soccer:** "And that, tik tok, is how you deliver barrels."

Soccer & Sonic finish detour currently in 2nd place.

White & War find the correct fireplace currently in Last place.

White & War are doing Tasty Puddin'

**Sonic:** "Where is this thing?"

**Soccer:** "It's around here somewhere."

**Abe:** "I don't feel like we're supposed to be here."

**Cloud:** "I'm looking for it on the map."

**War:** "This stuff smells like you cow."

**White:** "Shut up."

Soccer & Sonic make it to the uturn board.

**Soccer:** "What now?"

**Sonic:** "U-Turn them, get them out of here."

Soccer & Sonic uturn Cloud & Abe (no effect)

**Soccer:** "Are you sure that was a good idea?"

**Sonic:** "I'm sure, trust me. You're head's not even in the game, it's on that stupid app."

**Abe:** "Are we going the right way?"

**Cloud:** "I'm not sure."

**Sonic:** "I think we're in first, we're gonna get avenged for the leg we should've won in Vietnam!"

**Soccer:** "I'm not sure we did the right thing, and I don't think we're in first."

Cloud & Abe, you are team number 1! You have won a trip to Amsterdam!

**Cloud:** "YES!"

**Abe:** "I like it here a lot better. Scotland always treats me right!"

Soccer & Sonic, you are team number 2.

**Soccer:** "SEE, I TOLD YOU... WE U-TURNED SOMEONE WHO WAS AHEAD OF US!"

**Sonic:** "OK, FINE. THIS ONE TIME YOU WERE RIGHT."

**Soccer:** "THIS IS WHY I'M THE FAMOUS ONE HERE!"

**Sonic:** "..."

Jack & Red finish detour currently in 3rd place.

Jack & Red can't uturn anyone.

White & War finish detour currently in 4th place.

Halcy & Ashley finish detour currently in Last place.

**Jack:** "Where is the street?"

**Red:** "This guy is drunk, he'll never help us."

White & War make it to the uturn board.

**War:** "That sucks, they're right behind us and we can't use it."

**White:** "Run!"

**Halcy:** "Are they still looking for it?"

**Ashley:** "We need to uturn them just in case they didn't."

Halcy & Ashley uturn White & War (no effect)

**Halcy:** "I lost them, I have no idea where we're going!"

**Red:** "Is there anyone who is not drunk?!"

**White:** "PERIOD, THERE HE IS!"

White & War, you are team number 3.

**Red:** "If we lose the race because of drunkards, this whole world is rigged!"

**Halcy:** "I hope this is the right way! We need to leave those flops in the dust!"

Intense music.

Halcy & Ashley, you are team number 4.

**Halcy:** YASSS! WE LEFT THOSE FLOPS IN THE DUST!"

**Ashley:** "WE SLAY!"

Jack & Red, you are the last team to arrive. And I am sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race.

**Jack:** "STUPID DRUNKARDS!"

**Red:** "RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED."

## Route Markers

* Pit Start
* Route Info 1
* Roadblock
* Route Info 2
* Route Info 3
* Detour
* Route Info 4
* U-Turn
* Route Info 5 and Pit Stop
 The order of departure from Bergrestaurant-Moos are as follows:

1. White & War
2. Jack & Red
3. Halcy & Ashley
4. Soccer & Sonic
5. Cloud & Abe

Nobody's departure times were shown. Teams must fly to Edinburgh, Scotland, United Kingdom. Upon arrival, teams must drive themselves to the Gosford House to find their next clue.

 The team member assigned to perform the Roadblock would have to dress in the uniform of the Royal Scots regiment and learn to play a drone on a set of bagpipes while marching with the Royal Scots pipers in Gosford House's Marble Room for two minutes. When the bagpipes instructor is pleased with their performance, he will award them their next clue.

The Roadblock performers per team are underlined:

* Cloud & Abe
* Halcy & Ashley
* Jack & Red
* Soccer & Sonic
* White & War
 Teams must drive themselves to Sheep Heid Inn in Duddingston and play a game of skittles, a traditional British form of ten-pin bowling. Once they manage to score a "floorer", a strike, they'll receive their next clue. Only two lanes are available and if both team members fail, they must head to the back of any line that has been formed.

 Teams must drive themselves to Craigmillar Castle and search the fireplaces for their next clue.

**Choice A:** *Tasty Puddin'*
Teams would have to travel to the Sheep Heid Inn in Duddingston where they had to prepare haggis with oatmeal and ox intestine, in the presence of a Robert Burns impersonator who recited Burns' poem "Address to a Haggis". Once they've each prepared four portions of haggis and have a taste of one, they will be given the next clue.

Halcy & Ashley and White & War chose this task.

**Choice B:** *Whiskey Rollin'*
Teams would have to roll eight barrels of Scotch whiskey up a slope, delivering them to a party. Once they've delivered all eight barrels, a Scottish country dancer will give them their next clue.

Cloud & Abe, Jack & Red, and Soccer & Sonic chose this task. Teams must travel on foot to Duddingston Kirk to find their next clue.

 At Museum Geelvinck, teams would have the option to **U-Turn** a team, with two slots available. Soccer & Sonic attempted to use the first slot of the **U-Turn** on Cloud & Abe, however, Cloud & Abe already passed the U-Turn before Soccer & Sonic, thus having no effect on them. Halcy & Ashley attempted to use the second slot of the **U-Turn** on White & War, however, White & War already passed the U-Turn before Halcy & Ashley, thus having no effect on them.

 Teams must drive themselves to Niddry Street South to check in.
For coming in first place, Cloud & Abe won a trip for two to Amsterdam, The Netherlands, provided by Travelocity.

## Leaderboard

**Legend:**
     First Place •      Eliminated •      Last placer on a Non-Elimination Leg•      Saved from elimination by the Salvage Pass or The Save •      Season winner •      Season 2nd place •      Season 3rd place • **►** Used the Fast Forward • **ϵ** Used the Express Pass• **⊂** User of the first Double U-Turn slot • **⊃** Recipient of the first Double U-Turn slot • **⋐** User of the second Double U-Turn slot • **⋑** Recipient of the second Double U-Turn slot

 **1st place**

 **2nd place**

 **3rd place**

 **4th place**

 **5th place**