recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Athos Eleftheriou

was so mental that he had to be kept in a cage at the back of the class to prevent other students from being attacked during his rare but unpredictable and lethal psychotic episodes.

☀Terrifying psychopath who likes skinning
animals. Has to be kept in a cage in the classroom due to his random violent
attacks.
Miranda Singh

GCSE: Classical Civilisation, English, Greek, Mathematics, Turkish, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Psychology, Geography, History, Music, French.
A-Levels: Anatomy, Biology, Chemistry, Mathematics.
Wants to be a doctor, but actively hates others - will likely euthanise old people against their will etc. Wants money, power, and glory. Strictly heterosexual, and likes to cause a lot of drama. Very selfish, manipulative, and difficult to trust, but also very ambitious and remarkably strong-willed.

Clubs and societies: Butchery Club, Chess Club, Community Service Initiatives, Hunting Club, Model United Nations, Surgical Society (president).
Oliver Grant

Ex history teech from years X to X. Replaced by X. Eventually got married Naomi Goodman and went to volunteer in a third world country.

From Corvallis, Oregon, USA

Specialises in Middle Eastern/ colonialist history. About 40 years old. Intelligent, but tends to overthink.

Was involved in the death of Timothée Vervolet. Had crush on Naomi, by the time she liked him back he was obsessed with the kids and their dynamic. Culminated in death of Tim.
Antoinette Pelekanos

Antoinette Pelekanos was a student of RCL College. She is the child of the janitor Michelle Georgiou. Wanting to mix with the wealthier students at RCL, Antoinette designed and manufactured her own outfits. Once discovered, she became head of the fashion club. She is now a famous designer. Has a sibling at the school, Mike.
Homosexual Legion

**Overview:** When RCL College was first founded, vice-principal Twodd set up the RCL LGBT+ society, which was designed to offer a safe space for students with abnormal sexual or gender identities. However, much has changed since then. After being taken over in 2032 by year-10 student Hasan Mustafa, the group was renamed the ‘Homosexual Legion’, and began what Mustafa described as ‘a militant fag regime’ which advocates for ‘homo dominance’ and the ‘conversion those sick hetero infidels into the bottoms they secretly yearn to be’. Now in the final year of his tenure as club president (he has been re-elected three times), Mustafa has pledged to make RCL College ‘faggier than ever before’.

**Student testimonial:** “I’m not even gay, I just come here for the sauna.” – Gaylord, Year 12
Brianna Webber

Brianna Webber is a teacher of Biblical Hebrew and Modern Hebrew at RCL College.
At university (Durham), Webber was always too busy studying to have a romantic relationship. One evening, she slept with her crush, Eustace, a member of a posh secret society. It later emerged that as a challenge set by the secret society he had "stealthed" her (secretly and deliberately punctured the condom), and that he had no romantic interest in her. When Webber fell pregnant, she decided to keep the baby, with its excellent genetics and impressive family history. She gave birth to her son, Eustace Webber, in 2015 at the age of 19. Eustace attended RCL College from 2029-2033
Hannibal Le Tweed

**Hannibal Le Tweed**, MA, BA (Oxon), PGCE, GDL, BPTC, IVF, STD(19 July 1984 --) is the principal of Richard Coeur de Lion College.

## Early life

### Childhood and schooling: 1985-2002

Le Tweed was born in Embra, United Kingdom; she received her primary and secondary school education there, studying on a full academic/music scholarship at Tourettes College.

### University of Oxford: 2002-2009

Le Tweed spent much of her young adult life at the University of Oxford, where she spent most of her time having mental breakdowns and trying to shag her professors.

## Career

### Further Education: 2009-2012

Bored after a decade of achieving nothing at one of the world's best universities, Le Tweed decided to shift things up by moving to one of the worst.
Marcus Nielsen

Oyster swallowing tradition named after him. Gay.

### GCSE Subjects

Ancient History (A\*), Art and Design (A\*), Biology (A), Chemistry (B), Classical Civilisation (A), Drama (A\*), English (A), Geography (A), German (A\*), Mathematics (A)

### A-Level Subjects

Ancient History (A), Art and Design (A), Classical Studies (A), Geology (A)(at Troodos)
Director of Staff Well-being

At RCL College, the Director of Staff Well-being (DSW) is one of the thirteen members of the Board of Directors.

## Job Description

The DSW is responsible for providing pastoral care and professional advice to the school's staff members. The DSW typically serves a three-year tenure, with an unlimited term limit. Like most board members, they are voted in and out by those board members currently sitting; only Principal Le Tweed and Vice-Principal Twodd have veto powers.

The DSW is paid £55,000 per annum.

## Directors of Staff Well-being, past and present

The current RCL College DSW is HHumphrey Relish, who was elected to the board in 1935 and is currently serving a second term. White is the third DSW in the school's history, having been preceded by Elena Paphitis (2026-2029) and Julian Gonzales (2029-2035).
Inter-Campus Rail Link

The Nicosia and Troodos campuses are connected by a private light rail service. The line is approximately 63 kilometres in length. The train averages a speed of 80 ±3 km/h, and the duration of the trip is between 45 and 50 minutes. Members of the general public may also use the service, albeit at an inflated rate; however, the service is most popular among those affiliated with RCL College as the train does not make any stops along the line, except at certain stops (see below tables) if requested e.g. to the quarry for geologists.

## Timetable

### Weekends (Saturday/Sunday)

Trains only stop at midway destinations if called.
Educational Trips

RCL College prides itself on its bespoke educational trips. Once a trip has been planned, students from both campuses may apply to attend. **Domestic trips within Cyprus, sporting events, competitions, and conferences are not included in this page.**

## 2042

* Trip to Denmark
* Trip to Libya
* Trip to Thailand

## 2041

* Trip to Poland and Czechia
* Trip to Portugal and Cape Verde
* Trip to Pakistan

## 2040

* Trip to Finland and Estonia
* Trip to Colombia
* Trip to Rwanda, Uganda, and Kenya (with the guy who grew up in Kenya)

## 2039

* Trip to Jordan
* Trip to France
* Trip to Mexico and Guatemala
* Trip to Australia

## 2038

* Trip to Turkey
* Trip to Switzerland
* Trip to Singapore and New Zealand

## 2037

* Trip to Greece
* Trip to Belarus
* Trip to Morocco and Spain
* Trip to Brazil
* Trip to China

## 2036

* Trip to Iraq
* Trip to Germany
* Trip to Argentina and Uruguay

## 2035/36

* Trip to Iran - Elaleh Milani recruited here
* Trip to Sweden
* Trip to Canada
* Trip to Nigeria

## 2034

* Trip to Syria
* Trip to Austria
* Trip to the United States

## 2033

* Trip to Hungary
* Trip to Italy and the Vatican
* Trip to Tunisia
* Trip to Japan

## 2032

* Trip to Israel and Palestine
* Trip to Belgium
* Trip to Russia

## 2031

* Trip to Egypt
* Trip to the Netherlands
* Trip to India

## 2030

* Trip to Algeria
* Trip to the UK
* Trip to Oman
Charitos Charalambous

Charitos Charalambous is an alumnus of RCL College. A student at the Nicosia Campus, Charalambous enjoyed all facets of student life. Described by his peers as "fundamentally pleasant, intelligent, and ambitious", Charalambous' apparent need for the near-constant receipt of anal sex meant that his academic and social life sometimes suffered. It is said that Charalambous claimed ownership of one of the slings in the school's sauna, in which he spent at least a quarter of his time on campus. His brother, Charalambous Charalambous, also attended RCL College.
Leiden Twodd

Vice-principal Twodd, bemused

**Leiden Twodd** (1999--) is the vice-principal of Richard Coeur de Lion College.

## Personal life

Not much is known about Mr. Twodd's personal life.

## Quotes

“For too long, Cyprus has been denied an international secondary school that offers a high-quality education. At Richard Coeur de Lion College, we offer an unrivalled, bespoke educational experience. Your child, and your money, belong with us.”
Kremena Paskaleva

Her mother was a Canadian lesbian who traveled by speedboat from Northwest Canada to Chukotka Autonomous Okrug to be united with her lesbian lover. However, it emerged that her lover was actually a man, who forcibly married her and stole her passport. Kremena was their fourteenth child. Grew up in Egvekinot
Mert Uzun

As well as assisting with the conceptual design of the College in 2019, Mert also acts as Director of Studies overseeing the curriculum. His holistic approach is evidenced by the wide range of disciplines on offer, from philosophy to Practical Chemistry. He has selflessly contributed to the butchery club, introducing new techniques with a range of cutting implements. He is committed to extra-curricular development and is particularly enthusiastic about the school's regular educational night-time visits to explore the highlight of Kyrenia Harbour.
Aesthetics

**Subject brief:** RCL is the only school in Northern Cyprus to offer Aesthetics as a GCSE subject. Aesthetics is not offered as an A-Level subject.

**Department:** ART

**Head of department:** Mr. Francis FAIRYFINGERS

**Building:** David Bowie (DAVBOW) Building

**Teachers:** Mr. Armond HEIMENGUGG

**GCSE overview:** In the GCSE Aesthetics course, students are taught to appreciate the link between natural patterns and human design, and analyze the beauty and symmetry of things like columns, stairs, and the buttocks of statues.

**A-Level overview:** Aesthetics is not offered as an A-Level subject.

**Staff testimonials:** “RCL is the only school on Cyprus to offer the Aesthetics GCSE. The school boasts its own sculpture garden (the Praxiteles Garden), and last year one of our students, Callum Naseby, won an international essay award for his study on the roundness of various marble arses.” – Mr. Francis Heimengugg

**Student testimonials:** “Mr. Heimengugg raped me.” – Callum, Year 11
Stephen Tedesco

Stephen Tedesco was a student at RCL's Nicosia Campus from 2031 to 2035.

### GCSE Subjects

Mathematics (A), English (A), Chemistry (B), Physics (A), Drama (A\*), Economics (A\*), French (A\*), History (A\*), German (A\*), Latin (A), Music (A\*), Philosophy (A\*)

### A-Level Subjects

Economics (A\*), French (A\*), History (A), Philosophy (A\*), Politics (A\*)

## Physical Appearance and Distinguishing Features

Unremarkable - good looking, if a bit mouse-like. Olive skin, skinny frame. Favourite brands include Massimo Dutti, Gucci, Givenchy.

## Personality and Behavioural Habits

Tedesco was very preppy, always dressed in tight, expensive designer clothes. A bit germophobic. Favourite drink: cosmo. Always a bit sadistic, which is why he excelled in German GCSE and refused to take biology - basically detests all other organisms.
Shallow, introverted, and not very interesting, but was part of the secretive Joe Budden Society.

## Relationships

### Romances and Sexuality

Dated Petra Bandarev in 2031, and Olanthe Cross in 2032. Tedesco came out as gay during his election campaign. Olanthe was heartbroken, and baked him a special Italian cake to win back his love: he tipped the cake over, yelling "fuck your Buccellato you ugly bitch". He was subsequently endorsed by the Homosexual Legion. This was controversial, as his competitor Olanthe Cross touted a number of pro-gay policies whereas Tedesco had none. During his presidency, Tedesco did little to help LGBT+ students on campus, and was accused of coming out in order to secure the school's gay vote.

Shortly after his election, medical documents leaked that showed Tedesco having gonorrhea; it is unclear from whom it was gontracted.

## Circumstance

Very wealthy - father a banker and mother head of a womens' cosmetics loan shark operation. Father lives in Italy but flies to Limassol, where Tedesco lives with his mother, monthly.

## Clubs, Sports, Hobbies and Interests

### Club Memberships

* Debating (2031/32-2034/35)
* Gastronomic Society (2033-34)
* Model United Nations (2031/32-2033/34)
* Orchestra (2031/32-2033/34) - violin.

### Sports

* Archery (2034)
* Fencing (2031/32-2033/34)

## Achievements and Awards

### Achievements and Leadership Roles

Tedesco was a one-term president in 2034/35. He ran as the representative of the Class Party, against Glass' Olanthe Cross. He won with 59.2% of the vote. A notable moment in the election season came when Tedesco lost his temper during a debate and told Cross to "Just shut up, Olanthe". This became a popular quote and appeared around campus on posters and over social media.
Katherine Mansfield Library

RCL College’s grandest building, this structure comprises of

a high-ceilinged ground floor, with shelves framing the building’s interior in
two upper floors (accessed by stairs). The library’s collection increases each
year, with new purchases (dependant on updates, new releases, student and staff
requests, and budget), as well as significant donations. The total number of
volumes kept in the library are as follows:

  113
  **2032**
  2,046

Furthermore, the library holds the following:

**155**        Vinyl Records

**315**        DVDs

**744**        CDs

**1,121**    Audiobooks

**4,515**    E-books

## Additional Facilities

The library also includes a modern computer suite, as well
as a restricted research area (the library is home to a growing number of
valuable rare copies, including one of the first manuscripts of an entertaining
old book. Can’t think of one. Cannot be Marquis de Sade 120 Days, because that
was sold for 8 million euros or something and is now in France, although the
primary objective of the Sadean Society (see: Clubs Directory) could be to
acquire this.).

Despite the ever-increasing size of the collection, the
library is currently only at 12% capacity.

## Library Rules

1. Silence.
2. Books must be returned no later than the date shown.
3. Do not meddle with the nature of causality.
Carey Kinsella

Recipient of Twoddley scholarship in the year X. Orphan from Ireland whose foster parents sent in a portfolio of his paintings to RCL. Won the scholarship, and is in boarding houses with his sister. Once he got a chance to get ito multimedia, he was on fire, producing incredibly fine statues and murals initially for the Bollinger House then around the school.
Medical Care

The school’s dedication to students’ physical and mental wellbeing is unrelenting (see Sports). The boarding houses in Nicosia carry out 45-minute long
morning drills between 7 and 8am. This intensive morning
activity ensures that students remain alert for the rest of the day, and greatly
improves their cardiovascular health. It also reduces possible incidences of
fatness.

General Practicioner: Malcolm Praktis. Leiden Twodd is a highly experienced physician, specialising in proctology. To oversee the psychiatric aspect of pastoral care, Hannibal Le Tweed, Mert Uzun, and Mohamed Ben Musa have vast experience in both the practical/therapeutic and pharmaceutical fields. Furthermore, the College has its very own epidemiologist, Dr Stedys, who helps mitigate the effects of common, life-threatening disease outbreaks from the school's various science labs.

Although medical care in Cyprus is generally not free, it should be noted that students of RCL benefit from a substantial reduction in medication costs due to the school’s own pharmaceutical line (see further Underground Drugs Lab)
Smoking Room (Nicosia Campus)

Smoking is prohibited on campus, except for in the designated smoking room. The smoking room includes such amenities as a fag machine and a large central ashtray.

## Controversies

### 4/20

Rumours have it that on the 20th of April, students exclusively smoke marijuana in the room, participating in hotboxing. RCL College has vehemently denied these rumours, and when Cypriot police officials decided to investigate, they were prevented from entering the room by an impenetrable, thick, hazy smoke cloud.

### Butchery Club

In 2029, there was an ongoing scandal when it was found out that the Meat Society were smoking salmon and various meats on the air vents directly above the smoking room. The scandal erupted when, one day, not enough people went in for a smoke, and then-president of the club Michael Hock assaulted a group of junior students for being 'cancerphobic whimps'. One of the juniors complained that their parent had died of cancer the previous year, and Hock was publicly humiliated and forced to resign.
Sports

## Aquatic Sports

* Artistic Swimming (no captain)
* Diving (no captain)
* Marathon Swimming (no captain)
* Water Polo (has a captain. one past captain = Adrien Bellet)

## Equestrian

* Dressage
* Jumping

## Gymnastics

* Artistic
* Rhythmic

## Hockey

* Hockey
* Lacrosse?
* Ice Hockey

## Ice Skating

* Figure Skating
* Short track
* Speed

## Martial Arts

* Aikido
* Judo
* Karate
* Taekwondo

## Rowing

Rowing Captain: Rowan Clutterbuck Fitzalan-Howard (Arundel/Rowington) (unaccounted for as a student)

## Skiing

* Alpine
* Biathlon
* Cross country
* Freestyle

## Volleyball

* Volleyball
* Beach Volleyball

## Wrestling

* Freestyle
* Greco-Roman
Stella Dicks

Naive, hated by all women, slobbered over by men. Dresses like a prostitute, unknowingly. Easily seduced by male students, and frequently involved in sex scandals. Teeth like those of a camel, and ears like those of an elephant. Massive blowjob lips. A very kind person, and passionate about her subject.
Student Refectory (Nicosia Campus)

The student refectory (or 'Tuck Shop') at the Nicosia Campus is located in the Student Building. Available at the cafeteria is a range of fresh and pre-prepared snacks, meals, and non-alcoholic refreshments . The cafeteria is open every day of the week, from 7am to 7pm. It is run by two permanent members of staff; currently these are Yasli Teyze and Jack Anapes. Students may volunteer to assist at the cafeteria during particulary busy periods, earning Saint Points in the process.

Students may purchase a cafeteria loyalty card, the frequent use of which can earn them points which can be exchanged for additional products. The card can also be topped up with credit.

The cafeteria is known for its delicious and affordable smörgåsbords, which are prepared daily by Teyze and Anapes. The cafeteria also allows unlimited drink refills, with the condition that students must agree to kiss Teyze's hands.
Saint Points

Students at RCL earn Fixed Points and Saint Points. Fixed points are earned in class as a signal of academic success/prowess. Saint Points are earned for improving the school community, be it through charity work, clubs, leadership, etc.

Saint Points are awarded by the Saint Points committee. First a student must be nominated to receive Saint Points. A student may self-nominate. Then, the committee reviews the application and decides how many Saint Points to award. The minimum number of points is 1; if a student receives a 0 it means their application has been cancelled. The highest number of Saint Points ever earned by a student in one go was X number by X student for doing X. Saint Points are generally hard to earn, with most RCL students earning between 10 and 15 during their school career.

Fixed Points are earned in class, often in fractions of a point. For example, if a student received 75% in a mid-term test they might earn 0.15 points; over the school year these homework/project/test scores are accumulated into Fixed Points. A student has an active Fixed Points score; once this reaches 1 the point is awarded and the number reset.

Example: Student in A-Level Chemistry has just completed term one.

Lab 1: 85% (0.17)

Lab 2: 75% (0.15)

Test 1: 70% (0.28)

Test 2: 75% (0.30)

Homework: (0.16)

Participation: (0.05)

Student Fixed Points from A-Level Chemistry at the end of term One: 1 point awarded plus 0.11 active points to be added to in the following term.

Fixed points can not be removed unless the student has been found guilty of plagiarism or cheating. Saint Points, however, can be removed, as each student has a live Sinner Points score which is increased with misbehavior (also judged by the Saint Point Committee). Thus ensues a complex political system at RCL with disputes, tribunals etc.

This is because Saint Points and Fixed Points are very high stakes: prestigious awards including financial incentives are on offer. However, is mostly a matter of pride and there is a social pecking order based on points, which are made public on the class points leader board, updated live and class ranks shift live.
Troodos Campus

The Richard Coeur de Lion College Troodos Campus is located at the site of the old RAF Radar Installation, around 1km away from the village of Troodos and around 3.5km away from Platres on the southern slopes of the Troodos Mountains in Cyprus. The school is approximately 76 hectares in size.

## Foundation

The Troodos Campus was founded in X, Y years after the founding of the Nicosia Campus.

The Troodos Campus is home to 102 students, all of whom are boarders. Years 10 and 11 each have 27 students, while years 12 and 13 each have 24. Each year group has 3 classes (A,B,C); the highest-performing students are in class A, while the lowest-performing are in class C. Students switch classes based on their performance, displacing those in the same year group.

## Timetable Structure

 0900-0955
 1000-1055
 1055-1200
 1200-1255
 1300-1355
 1400-1455
 1500-1700

* Most actually run from 1515 to 1615

Followed by dinner at 1815, then prep from 1900-2100, lights out 2230. Wake 0700, breakfast served 0715.
Charles Bennett

Recipient of Twoddley scholarship in the year X. Was originally a student at RCL, with his family in cyprus, but his dad lost his job and they had to return to the US. RCL offered to put Charles in boarding and support him financially as he was an excellent student and even better Jeff Buckley style musician. They agreed.

Composer/writer of the Coeur de Lion Carol
Thomas Seville

head of philosophy and theology, teacher of philosophy. Joins in 2037. Loves a floral g+t. a bit gay, but has a wife and 2 kids (16yo boy and 22yo girl). his wifey linda flash is a car salesperson. she drives a flash white mercedes, and has a complicated relationship with her son but gets along with her daughter olanthe seville-flash. son and dad like each other. son andy seville is at rcl - unaccounted for as of yet. son has sexuality problems because of his dad's gayness, but is aultimately straight and hopelessly in love with a teacher at school. dad fucks the teacher, despite his being gayish, shit gets complicated. wifey leaves country for a while in 2038, seville wins bachelor.
Punishments

While RCL College promotes forgiveness and rehabilitation, and generally steers away from the administration of corporal punishment, punishments of varying levels of severity are sometimes carried out against particularly disruptive students.

## Punishments

### Shame Masks

Students who are found guilty of traducement/libel are made to wear a mask with a particularly long tongue. This tongue distorts speech, causing the wearer to sound whiny and irritating.

### Sound Torture

Students are made to listen to a mix of undesirable music, including Oasis, Demi Lovato, and Katy Perry. This is designed to insult the intelligence of the listener, and to force them into doing what RCL students hate most - wasting time.

### Tickle Torture

Students are tickled by perverted gay teacher X.
Security Director

The Security Director at RCL College ensures that staff and students are safe at all times. This is because of the immense international profiles of some of the students at the school.

The Security Director oversees the coordination of school trips.

The Secuity Director is in charge of the small RCL College military. PORN, or Paramilitary Organisation RCL Nefastus

They have a small paramilitary organisation working for them. Like 10/15 soldiers.
Russian

**Staff testimonials:** “I do not conform to the classic Russian stereotype. For one, I prefer bourbon to vodka. For two, I am a capitalist. I do, however, take great pleasure in beating children, which I suppose is quite Russian of me.” – Mr. Grigory Goluboff

**Student testimonials:** “Our mission will not be complete until the blood of the bourgeoise is spilling down the steps of the Student Building!” – Imogen Millais-Scott, Year 12
Wine Club

### Motto

"Optima vina mundo nota volumus, hic volumus, nunc volumus"("We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now!")

### Building

Charles Darwin Building and Student Bar (Nicosia), Wine Cellars (Troodos)

### President(s)

Stelios Kakopsitos (Nicosia), Victor Fouquereau (Troodos)

### Membership

Nicosia: 19 (core), 181 (members)Troodos: 11 (core), 136 (members)

### Budget

450 euro/term (Nicosia), 350 euro/term (Troodos)

The RCL College Wine Club is an established club at both the Nicosia and Troodos Campuses. Core members of the club may take on various leadership roles, such as Head Viticulturalist, Head Oenologist, Head Vintner, and Head Bottler.

The Wine Club specialises in both still and sparkling wine; value and availibilty depends on the quality and quantity of each vintage. Generally, the Club produces anually a standard white, red, and rose wine, with more sophisticated wines being stored for later years to be used for ceremonial and celebratory purposes.

In 2030, the Club hosted a successful international conference on Grape Anatomy.

**Overview:** Vintages: 2034, 2035, 2036

**Student testimonial:**

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winemaking

## 2038

Head Vintner: Stelios Kakopsitos

## 2039

Head Vintner: Stelios Kakopsitos
Turkish

**Subject brief:** As per the requirements of the TRNC education board, two periods of Turkish per week are compulsory for all students at KS4 level.

**Department:** Foreign Langauges

**Head of department:** Mr Norbert Lipetz

**Building:** Catullus Building

**Teachers:** Ms. Ayse Teyze, Ms. Aydin Abla

**GCSE overview:** Despite English being widely spoken across the TRNC, a basic knowledge of the Turkish language can expose students to new experiences: for example, they can order food in Turkish, give directions in Turkish to taxi drivers, an solicit monolingual prostiwhores.  KS4 students already take two periods of Turkish per week, so some students may opt to take an additional period of Turkish during the week, then sit the Turkish GCSE.

**A-Level overview:** A-Level Turkish is offered at RCL.

**Staff testimonials:** “Törkish is very good subject for de students. Dey can do many tinks, layk counting, tal-king, and listen to addirs. It is qvite very important skills to havink in de Cyprus. Tenkyu.” – Ms. Ayse Teyze

**Student testimonials:** “Ben hic birsey anlamiyorum” – Nigel, Year 11
Winter Hall (Twoddley Estate)

Deep in the lower reaches of the Twoddley Estate at the Nicosia Campus lies the Winter Hall, an intimate and intimidating banquet hall. Select students are invited to dine with the principal and vice-principal at the Hall on cold winter nights, either to celebrate distinction or to receive discipline.
VIP Lounge (Nicosia Campus)

The use of the VIP lounge is limited to staff members and students over the age of 18[DT1] . It includes 3 slot machines (affectionately known by students as ‘pokies’) – however, the Design and Technology and Business Studies GCSE students are currently competing in teams to develop the fourth machine.

[DT1]As if
Thomas Blue

Born in 1992. MASSIVE history nerd. teaches gcse history and a-level history and history of art. loves his art, and is an excellent painter. short and fat and shaves off all his body hair. straight, but knows little about the female anatomy. has to piss evey 25 minutes due to wide and weak urinary tract. Faps to videos of women at work during the war. also likes to finger himself, which his ex-wife found disgusting and divorced him for. favourite drink is plain tonic, as he gets wildly pissed after two standard drinks, and would likely die after four. grew up in africa, was accidentally identified as an African Elephant by the Great Elephant Census (2026) because of how fat and bald he was.

Has a kid at the school, Sandro Blue, born in 2024 in Kenya. Has a daughter, who lives with the wife in Spain.
Student Building Bar (Nicosia Campus)

Estabished in 2027, the Richard Coeur de Lion College Student Building Bar is one of RCL College's most successful and celebrated institutions. The bar is managed by the Mixology Club, the members of which have been commended for their friendly and engaging service. Students are not allowed to use the bar during lesson times unless they are accompanied by their teacher.

The bar is open all week, operating within the following hours:

## Offerings

The bar offers a variety of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages. Its specialties include the free-flowing Student Bar Brew, a creamy draught stout which sells for 2.5 euro a pint, and the House Wine, which is produced by the Wine Club. The bar also provides food: fry-up breakfasts and roast lunches are available every day of the week. Snacks such as cheeses, pickles, nuts, and chips are all readily available. In summer, cold sparkling wine is served on tap, and cicchetti are a popular and affordable snack. During the winter, specials such as sausage sandwiches , moules-frites , and various other seafood in white wine and garlic butter are all immensely popular. The bar also sells tobacco, cigarettes, and aspirins.

## Layout

The bar's architecture and interior fittings are Gothic/Victorian. The bar is divided into three sections (it is shaped like a half-square, with the shorter sides on either end): the noiser front section, with its pool and darts and beer, the longer and quieter mid-section, and the very intimate and private rear section.
Yasli Teyze

REFECTORY The student refectory (or 'Tuck Shop') at the Nicosia Campus is located in the Student Building. Available at the cafeteria is a range of fresh and pre-made snacks, meals, and non-alcoholic refreshments . The cafeteria is open every day of the week, from 7am to 7pm. It is run by two permanent members of staff; currently these are Yasli Teyze and Jack Anapes. Students may volunteer to assist at the cafeteria during particulary busy periods, earning Saint Points in the process.

Students may purchase a cafeteria loyalty card, the frequent use of which can earn them points which can be exchanged for additional products. The card can also be topped up with credit.

The cafeteria is known for its delicious and affordable smörgåsbords, which are prepared daily by Teyze and Anapes. The cafeteria also allows unlimited drink refills, with the condition that students must agree to kiss Teyze's hands.
Zwarte Piet Defense League

**Building:**

**Overview:**Members of the Zwarte Piet Defense League defend the tradition in the Low Counties of Europe to dress up in blackface make-up to celebrate the annual feast of St Nicholas.

**Student testimonial:**
Always talks of dissolution but at least 5 racist students always pull through to save it. Probably the most controversial of all clubs as it is basically openly racist. Might finally dissolve after Adonis graduates this year.

## 2037

President/Spokesperson: Adonis Oosthuizen

## 2038

President/Spokesperson: Adonis Oosthuizen

## 2039

President/Spokesperson: Adonis Oosthuizen
Sadean Society

**Building:** Wine Cellar

**President:** Fetima Ishmael

**Overview:** At the Sadean society, students analyse the famous works of the Marquis de Sade. With the help of their staff supervisor Mr Rastapopolous , they re-enact scenes from '150 Days of Sodom' and other classic de Sade works.

**Staff testimonial:** “I’m only here to supervise.” – Mr. Rastapopolous

**Club Anthem:** "Fools Gold" by The Stone Roses
Susanna Sandstrom

Fat Swedish bitch wot ran for president twice, and won once. Write about why she lost the second election. A nice person at heart, but very irritating and brash to others. Snooty. Has blonde and thus invisible eyebrows. Fat tits, but fat everything. Shat herself when drunk at a house party once, which destroyed her Hillary Clintonesque reputation. After that, she became a bit of an emo. Rumour has it that at university she has lost lots of weight and is now hot and normal. But who knows

### 2029 ElectionEdit

 Abstentions/Spoiled Ballots

Lucas Acosta top 3. abstentions wanted luca/were sexist
Richard Leung

Richard Leung is the Head of Operations at RCL College.

## Personal Background

An only child born in Hong Kong in 1977, Leung's parents both worked multiple jobs in order to be able to send him to a prestigious British school in Hong Kong. He thrived academically, and was especially talented in the areas of economics and physics. As a teenager, Leung became involved in Hong Kong's nightlife scene, and joined a gang. He worked his way up the ranks, but eventually left to pursue higher education in the United States.

Since then, Leung has lived in Florida, Mexico, London, Paris, Dubai, and most recently Cyprus, where he oversees RCL College's day-to-day operations.
Uniform

## KS4: "Life on Mars"

* Plain white/light blue dress shirt
* Official RCL College fitted dress suit in "'lectric blue"
* Official RCL College striped tie
* Appropriate closed-toed dress shoes
* Appropriate dress socks

## KS5: "Thin White Duke"

* Flowing white dress shirts/blouses
* Tapered suit jacket in charcoal or black, with tailored vest in similar shade.
* High-wasted trousers in a dark colour
* Closed-toed dress shoes
Sophie Manhandler

Has 5 kids:

Anabelle and Ethan (siblings to man in the UK), Idris and Umar (siblings, dad is pakistani gardener at RCL), and Olanthe (dad is a member of staff at RCL Arnold Small).

Anabelle born 2031 September

Ethan born 2033 March

Idris born 2035 February

Umar born 2036 November

Olanthe born 2036 January
Timothy Brown Williams

NAME: Timothy Brown Williams

FATHER: Arthur Williams

MOTHER: Pauline Williams

SIBLINGS AT RCL: Nakato Genesis Williams (ID: NAKGW032N)

STUDENT ID: TIMBW032N (timbw1@rclcollege.com)

YEARS AT RCL: 2032/33 to 2035/36

TYPE OF STUDENT: Boarding

GENDER: Male

NATIONALITY: South African
DATE OF BIRTH: 5 JULY 2015

PLACE OF BIRTH: Swaziland

HEIGHT: 5’9 to 6’4

EYE COLOUR: Brown
HAIR COLOUR: Black

DEFINING PHYSICAL FEATURES: Black

LANGUAGES SPOKEN: English, Afrikaans, isiZulu, Latin, German.

GCSE SUBJECTS:
A-LEVEL SUBJECTS: N/A
LPA NN-14

**LPA NN-14**

The NN-14 is a rugged heavy blaster pistol developed after the end of the Galactic Civil War. It has an oversized power core to enhance the power while maintaining a relatively compact profile and a heavy barrel to improve accuracy.

The gas cartridge contains enough gas for 250 shots

Damage: 5d(5) burn, sur

Accuracy: 3

Range: 300/600

Weight: 1.9/0.5

Rate of Fire: 3

Shots: 50(3)

Strength: 10

Bulk: -3

Recoil: 3

LC: 2

Cost: $990

*Very Reliable*
Zeynep Göztaşı

Recipient of Twoddley scholarship in the year X. Cunning linguist. Decided at a young age that she NEEDED to attend RCL, so set about learning a new language each year until she was old enough to apply.

Spoke Turkish and some English already. At age 10, taught herself proper English by reading loads of books and listening to music/watching films. Then moved on to French at age 11, Spanish and Italian at age 12, Greek at age 13. Now studying all sorts of languages at RCL including Ancient Greek and Latin, which she is fucking excellent in
Student Leadership

As well as those chosen in student elections as president, and those chosen as club leaders and sports captains, every year Hannibal le Tweed and Leiden Twodd select a head boy and a head girl to represent the school at various functions. One cannot be both head student and student president, so running for president eliminates you from selection for head boy/girl.
The head boy/girl is always a year 12 student; year 13s at RCL are generally encougraged not to take on leadership roles but rather to focus on their A-Level exams. Also because there were no year 13s in 2026/7.
Known as Dickheads (King Dick School Heads)

* Loreta was replaced after getting raucously drunk at an event at the US embassy and projectile vomiting on the ambassador's wife.
	+ - Serbest refused as she wanted to focus on academic performance.
The Twoddley Scholarship

Ultimately the highest honour RCL can bestow upon a student, the Twoddley Scholarship entitles a truly sexceptional candidate to full fee remission, a grant covering all book purchases, and a £500 monthly allowance to be redeemed either in the School Bar or in the Dispensary. It is renewed each year until the student has graduated; further financial assistance through university might also be provided. Established 2031.

One Twoddley scholarship is available (though not necessarily awarded) per annum to a student aged 14 or above.

The scholarship is awarded on the basis of a portfolio of work to be submitted to the Board of Directors. This work may take the form of graphs, tables, documents, or any other pieces of merit.

Candidates will be shortlisted for a primary interview with the board of directors. There will be no information provided as to the nature of questions or problems to be discussed at interview - including certain tasks that need to be completed. At this point, candidates must provide a full, stamped doctor’s certificate detailing their medical and psychiatric history. Candidates will be required to undergo a drugs test, where they will fail if a sufficient amount of drugs is not found in their system.

The final shortlist, generally between two to four candidates will attend a full formal banquet with the Board of Directors. All candidates will be required to sign a confidentiality agreement and full liability waiver. Any breach of these contract will result in immediate expulsion and the initiation of legal proceedings (please see details of our internationally renowned legal team)

## Past Recipients

 2035/36
 2036/37
 2037/38
 2039/40

* Have siblings who were given financial assistance as well so that both could attend. Pavlos Demitriades , Kourosh (Cyrus) Milani , Erin Kinsella
Gwynblleiddovah

**Gwynblleiddovah** *(literally Great White Dragon)*was a servant of the dragon lord Shorin during the Dragon War, able to utilise the apocalyptic White Frost and making him the most valuable weapon of the Dragon Lord. He was made mortal after the defeat of Shorin, after which he was killed by Ymir and his colonists. His spirit was reincarnated as the warden known as Erron of Centris.
Lydia of Vunregard

**Lydia of Vunregard** is a sorceress, co-leader of the Sisterhood of Warlocks, true love of the warden Erron of Centris and the adoptive mother of Aeskar of Mesto. She is also the reincarnation of Boudica, the mortal aspect of Morvudd, Goddess of Thunder and Lightning. She served as an unofficial advisor to King Rearon of Aidren until it was conquered by Tholmonia, after which she joined the Sisterhood. She has tense relations with all of its members, due to their desire to use Aeskar for political gain.
Alonsas the Eighteenth

## Personal Information

### Title(s)

Emperor of TholmoniaSovereign of Dailanika, Yioicaer, Rodigana, Syndur and Occupied Tomoria

## Family

### Relatives

Kerimis the Third - father (deceased)Sofia Vaun da Leinae - mother (deceased)

Aeskar Von Ra Eredin - brother (alive)

Tessa Vaughn-Shanuka - wife (alive)

## Appearances

### Series Lifespan

The Broken Blade to Present

**Alonsas the Eighteenth, Blleid Koran a'erth Morsunn Dweifkall** *(Tholmonian: Great Black Shadow Dancing on the Graves of his Foes)* is the current emperor of Tholmonia, monarch of Dailanika, Yionicaer, and Rodigana and the sovereign of Syndur and the southern lands, as well as the king of Centria. He is the eldest son of Kerimis the Third and Sofia Von-Ra Eredin, and the brother of Aeskar. His rule of the empire is highly aggressive, often pursuing expansionist policies similar to those of his predecessors. This led to the outbreak of three wars against the Northern Kingdoms, two of which he lost and one he won, claiming rule over the Middle North as a result and is currently waging a fourth war against Edenia.

Alonsas is an intelligent and brilliant ruler. He chooses his people well and has crushed many plots against him. He is ruthless toward traitors and moves towards his goals with great determination.

He is publicly favourable to the Elder Races and mages, in stark contrast to monarchs of the North.
Spear of Calenkyad

The **Spear of Calenkyad** was the spear wielded by the great Nordling hero Calenkyad, the founder of the first Northern Kingdoms, against Shorin, the God of Destruction. It was supposedly forged in the fires of the Cosmos itself, and cannot be destroyed. According to the Speakers of Histain, in the hands of those who are not of pure blood of the North, it is the **Second Sign of Armageddon**.

It is linked to the Light of Arkakhan, allowing a bearer of the Light to channel their power, among other amazing abilities. Having passed the Trial of the Grey Ones, the spear is commanded by Aeskar of Mesto, Bearer of the Light.
Severin Coke

### Clubs

Joe Budden Society, Drugs Discussion Club, Svartepete Defense League, Wine Club (kicked out)

### GCSE Subjects

Biology (A), Chemistry (B), Classical Civilisation (A\*), Classical Greek (A\*), Economics (A), English (A\*), History (A), Latin (A\*), Mathematics (B), Music (A\*), Philosophy (B), Religious Studies (A\*)

### A-Level Subjects

Classical Greek (A), Classical Studies (A), Latin (A), Law (A), Politics (A)

### University

LSE

Severin Sacheverell Coke was a student of RCL College from 2034-2038. He was the leader of the Class Party from 2036 until his graduation. He was student president from 2036-2038.

Coke was a member of multiple clubs, including the Wine Club, from which he was famously expelled after threatening to smash a 2010 Chateau Margaux over another member's back, shouting, "Just because you act like a bitch, Dickson, doesn't mean you get to hump my leg like one". Furthermore, Coke was known to have been thoroughly addicted to cocaine. Records from the Drugs Discussion Club show that towards the end of year 12, Coke was subsisting on a diet of cocaine, candied walnuts, kaymak, and stewed snails. Despite his life-threatening addiction, Coke always refused to smoke tobacco or marijuana so as to preserve his perfect white teeth.

asexual
Drearian Defense Conglomerate Defender

**Drearian Defense Conglomerate Defender**

The Defender sporting blaster is a popular civilian blaster pistol around the galaxy for target shooting, small game hunting, and self-defense. It uses very little blaster gas per shot and draws most of the bolt's energy from the power pack, which helps the gas cartridges last for much longer at the expense of power, and accommodates the fine and delicate internal components with an onboard diagnostic computer that can perform minor repairs.

The Defender can also be quickly disassembled into the grip, receiver, and barrel by typing a 3-digit code into an access panel above the trigger. This has made the Defender surprisingly popular among assassins and spies, as the pieces can easily be disguised in more innocuous items and reassembled in 10 seconds.

The gas cartridge contains enough gas for 700 shots.

Damage: 2d-1(5) burn, sur

Accuracy: 0

Range: 250/400

Weight: 1.3/0.5

Rate of Fire: 3

Shots: 100(3)

Strength: 9

Bulk: -2

Recoil: 2

LC: 3

Cost: $300

*Very Reliable*
Shorotash

**Shorotash** is the **Dragon God of Heroic Afterlife, Order and Chaos** and the formerly chief deity of the Great Twelve until the ascension of Arkakhan. Nonetheless, Shorotash is considered the most powerful of the Great Twelve, being the aspect of Order and Chaos and the father of all dragons. His eldest child, Shorin, is prophesized to devour reality at Armageddon.
Bismake, the Tainted Prince

**Bismak, the Tainted Prince,** was the first human to be exposed to the Taint and yet not devolve into the pure, hive-minded monstrosity known as the Spawn, instead transforming into the agent of The One. In life, he is believed to have been **Bismak of Ocaria, Prince of Morvudd**, a prince of the southern lands who gave into the temptations of blood magic and listened to the whispers of the Old Gods. When he was subjected to the Taint, he transformed into the Tainted Prince, leading The 100 in a battle against the denizens of the realm. He was defeated by a united continent led by Arkan Khan; in the process, both of their souls were shattered into infinite pieces. The pieces of the Tainted Prince were transformed into the Traitors, and are prophesized to unite to resurrect the Tainted Prince and fight alongside Shorin at Armageddon.
Aeskar of Mesto

Master of Destiny

Left Hand of Arkakhan

Lord of Space and Time

Time's Breath

The Message from Fate

Magic (uncontrolled)

Spear of Calenkyad

Alonsas - brother (alive)

Tessa Shanuka - sister-in-law (alive)

Erron of Centris - adoptive father (alive)

Lydia of Vunregard - adoptive mother (alive)

> *"My whole life, I've had my entire destiny decided for me. Those days are **done**. Nigh is the time **I** decide destiny,"*
>
>

> – Aeskar of Mesto, *The Broken Blade*
>
>

**Aeskar of Mesto** *(pronounced ACE-GER)*is the secondary protagonist of the series. He was born on the Tholmonian holiday of the Great Sun, under the sign of Bellegan. He is the last legitimate member of the Centrian royal family, the second son of Kerimis the Third and Sofia Vaun da Leinae under the birth name **Von-Ra Eredin**, the Tholmonian translation of his mother's maiden name. He is a direct descendant of Calenkyad, and therefore the last known bearer of the Light of Arkakhan.

## Skills and Abilities

> *"...and the hands of Time itself will bend to his Will,"*
>
>

> – Caston Cyris, *A Brief History of the Calenkyad Gene*
>
>
Emperor

The **Emperor** or **Empress** is the absolutistic leader and ruler of the Tholmonian Empire. Although sharing their realm with a number of barons, counts, dukes, princes, senators, and other aristocrats, the Emperor's rule is totalitarian and disloyalty is often punished by death. The Emperor is also the religious head of state, bearing the inherited title of High Priest of the Pantheon of Twelve, among others. The personal guard of the Imperator is the Imperial Brigade, which counts more than 5000 soldiers.

## Notable Emperors

* Kerimis the Third (? - 1198)
* Alonsas the Eighteenth (1198 - Present)
Light of Arkakhan

The **Light of Arkakhan**, also known as the **Elder Blood** or the **Calenkyad Gene**, is a mysterious form of magic that originates from the infinite pieces of the shattered soul of Arkakhan. A bearer of the Light is able to utilise the mighty power of Arkakhan to travel across dimensions and manipulate time, among other abilities. It manifests itself as golden lighting. Only those who bear the Light are able to wield the Spear of Calenkyad.

The only known current bearer of the Light is Aeskar of Mesto, the direct descendant of Calenkyad.
Earth

**Earth**, also known as **Comic Earth**, **Terra** and **Turra**, was one of the four major planets in the Solar System.

## Formation

The precise age of Earth is unknown, but is widely accepted that it was formed a short time before the Origin, in year 0.

It has been theorised that Earth could have been created from the space clouds that created the Pre-origin planets. This is due to a similar geological makeup in the crust of these planets.
Narkuna (river)

The **Narkuna**, known by the elves as *A'en Teff dir Largwennela (The River of Many Passages)*, is the longest river in the North. It serves as a natural border between Edenia and Tomoria to the south, and Edenia and the province of Yionicaer to the east. It rises in the Red Mountains and empties into the Skegrune Sea at the port of Arncanal.

## Tributaries

* Monto
* White Narkuna