Andrew Lewis/Quotes

## Chapter 1

"*Sweet bro, its decaying."*"
– Andrew talking to Jake about a dead bird; his first line

"*My friends are vanishing left and right, must be this menstrual thing again.*"
– Andrew looking for Kaleb, Jake & Izak

## Chapter 2

"*Not even a mircopenis, more like a stump!*"
– Andrew talking about Garth's penis

"*We get it. You're as wide as a lorry, but thats no exc-*"
– Andrew to Ms. Tallkinn

"*Well I think its more than suspicious if theres a ceiling fan, full sized mannequin and a fucking wardrobe inside your goddamn wardrobe!*"
– Andrew critiquing Kaleb's room

"*Fucking move you toilet brush!*"
– Andrew shoving Kaleb out of the way

"*Jake, look at Noah. He's probably never seen tits before, probably was never breastfed.*"
– Andrew talking to Jake

"*I've escaped class but now i think i have syphilis.*"
– Andrew

"*What is this? A Nintendo Switch?*"
– Andrew holding some kid's PlayStation Portable

"*Whoever put that shit in my drink bottle is going to have their asshole look like a protein shake!*"
– Andrew threatening everyone

## Chapter 3

"*Shut the fuck up or I'll stuff you in the choker.*"
– Andrew threatening Kaleb

"*Who the fuck names a country Sierra Leone?*"
– Andrew to Izak

"*At least mine box doesn't drop to the ground unlike yours, the postman won't be able to carry such a large box. He's going to hand in his resignation form.*"
– Andrew insulting V-Neck's Balls

"*Doesn't Ethiopia look like Botswana?*"
– Andrew to Kaleb

"*Camp food looks like if Kaleb & Ben were tasked to make food.*"
– Andrew to Jake

"*And we’re not doing one this year because you gave Jake a post it note of Ryan Seacrest’s autograph.*"
– Andrew explaining to Kaleb why they should stop doing a secret Santa.

"*Where are you even from? The Gaybourhood or something?*"
– Andrew to Ms. Vainova

"*Ap!-*"
– Andrew cutting off someone on numerous occasions

"*COME ON IZAK! 6 APPLE PIES DON'T TAKE THIS LONG!!!!*"
– Andrew to Izak

"*Took him long enough. Oh almost forgot. Knives & forks. Izak-chan you almost forgot the knife and fork.*"
– Andrew to Izak

## Chapter 4

"*DINNER'S HOME KIDDIES!!!*"
– Andrew getting the group KFC

"*Kaleb you're actually sick. They're 8 hours old for fucks sake!*"
– Andrew after catching Kaleb eat cold KFC

"*You'll remember Selene’s half cousin’s brother’s mother’s great grandmother’s cat’s funeral.*"
– Andrew arguing with his mom

"*Schoolwork, its clogging my computer, its running at the speed of Scott after McDonalds.*"
– Andrew to Coleman

"*And out of all characters its Link, he’s not even Mario! Even Pink Gold Peach was better.*"
– Andrew to Ben

"*Come here big bubba.*"
– Andrew chasing Kaleb

"*No, shut the fuck up lampost.*"
– Andrew to Ben

"*If it did then Ian’s gonna have a tattoo forehead about it. So did you go to the mall with Sophia?*"
– Andrew after telling Coleman he never banged Chrysa

"*Did someone get their penis in a fold?*"
– Andrew to Baxter

"*GUYS MY ROOM IS LEAKING!!*"
– Andrew staring at the hole in his ceiling

"*Dude thats gonna give you Cholera.*"
– Andrew to Kaleb after he starts drinking the rainwater falling from the ceiling

"*Ooooh are you kiddies excited for your hotcakes at 7:27pm??*"
– Andrew to the group

"*Of course you own an air mattress. Not hard to mistake you with one of Snow White’s seven dwarves.*"
– Andrew to Jake

"*Well i am a high school drama show protagonist, but yeah.*"
– Andrew to Alex

"*Lila forgor 💀the winning team but i think the scores were 10-4.*"
– Andrew fabricating the scores to Zalendia

"*Your dad literally stole 30% of an NQR.*"
– Andrew to Kaleb

"*Hang on-?*"
– Andrew after rolling a 13 in Monopoly

"*MY FUCKING GLASS YOU PILLOCK! My favorite one too.*"
– Andrew to Lucinda