Way to a Man's Heart

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**Way to a Man's Heart** is the third episode of Season 4 of *Letterkenny*.

## Synopsis

Tanis recruits the Hicks, who recruit the Hockey Players, to help with a feud on the Rez.

## Cold Open

> Ya finished up chorin' the other day… — Wayne
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It's a great day for hay at the produce stand. Dan blows his nose on his sleeve, and Daryl kicks off his boots. Katy objects loudly to both, asking whether this is a degen convention, but Wayne wonders how hard you're working if you don't do either.

Daryl says he is concerned about toenail fungus on account of how moist it is in the boots. Katy tells him it is the last time she will hear *that word* coming out of his mouth—not *fungus*, not *marinate*, but *moist*. The male Hicks proceed to rattle off various names and phrases substituting *moist* for one of the syllables. Katy gets up, pours beers on each of their heads, and leaves in a huff, saying "there you go, now you're moist."

> This display courtesy of the Three Moist-kateers. — Wayne
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## Plot Summary

Two young native women are outside MoDean's II selling cigarettes. They confront a degen for drinking at 11am, in his barn clothes; he menaces them, but Axe and Slash appear to back them up, and the degen skulks off. Katy arrives at the same time and accosts them for selling cigarettes to children; they call her a skank. Katy walks off, but says they will be in deep shit.

Working out at the gym, Jonesy and Reilly are approached by the two gay gym rats, who start catcalling them using double entendres of hockey terms. They are surprised to find the boys enjoy it.

> Fuck buddy, if anybody knows how hot we are, you're looking at 'em. — Reilly
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Reilly and Jonesy praise their chirping, as well as their physiques, and after a further discussion of terminology, formally declare friendship with Ron and Dax.

Tanis has come to the produce stand to ask for the Hick's help with the two Native women, Shyla and Shania, "the two newest strays on the Rez." They have turned Axe and Slash against her, presumably because they are banging them, because they are banging everybody. Katy adds that they are selling darts to kids, though Wayne thinks all kids are shit and would have found the darts one way or another. When she says they called her a skank, however, Wayne declares "Game on!"

Dan is not sure that kicking Axe and Slash's asses will bring them back to Tanis. She adds that every woman knows the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and there is a big cookout on the Rez today; this will bring them back to her. It sounds to Wayne like a plan:

> We cruise on in there, eat like kings, beat the shit out of those dudes, snatch up Axe and Slash, and away we go. — Wayne
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Tanis hates that word: *snatch*. The boys begin riffing *snatch*-based puns one after the other, upsetting both Tanis and Katy. Katy points out that Shyla and Shania have other guys with them, so Wayne and the others might want to call in a favor. Just then, the hockey players drive up, and are recruited to join them.

At the dollar store parking lot, the Skids and Glen approach each other finger-snapping, as if from *West Side Story*. Stewart asks Glen what would Jesus do in this situation; Glen replies that Jesus would respond with empathy, acceptance, and grace. Surprisingly, Stewart agrees that they will sample Jesus' style for the day, provided that Glen sample theirs.

At the cookout at the Rez, the men variously question Tanis about her grilling technique.

Wayne: You're just gonna let this chicken sit uncovered, or…
Daryl: Ya put the grill up to 500, you wanna turn that down a bit, or…
Dan: Montreal steak spice would help that Bison meat. So you gonna sprinkle some on there or…
Reilly: Sure you wanna put those fish and veggies on at the same time, or…
Tanis: Yous wanna stop questioning Auntie Tanis' cooking?
Jonesy: Still you're gonna squirt a little marinade on there, or…
Tanis: Don't say that word.
They proceed to a pun-off with *squirt*.

> Really though, are you gonna squirt a little marinade on there, or… — Jonesy
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Glen, dressed as a Skid, stands on a milk crate and advises them on sermonizing. Step one: guilt blasting'. Step two: guilt blastin' through prayer. Step three is the collection plate. He asks what the Skids' three steps are. They answer: Take this, press play, and dance.

Axe and Slash, unimpressed with Shyla and Shania's cooking, start to ask questions, and are told to shut up. Tanis shouts back not to speak to them in that way, and they hurl insults at each other.

> You tarts can't handle a barbeque, let alone handle your scandal. I can see your clammy hands from here. — Tanis
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They hate that word: *clammy*. The Letterkenny folk spew a series of puns featuring *clammy*. Wayne is getting impatient for a scrap.

Glen coaches the Skids on gestures and hand motions for use in preaching; this devolves into the entire group dancing together, and Stewart tearing up the Bible.

Reilly and Jonesy take the opportunity to approach Katy to see if she will date both of them again. She tells them she actually doesn't want to date either of them, but tells them to think of all the other snipes, a prospect which excites them again. At the other grill,

Tanis shouts to Axe and Slash that they shouldn't have picked the pussy over a meal made by Auntie Tanis, and warns them they may not be the only ones in there: "Better watch out for that yeast." Shyla and Shania object to that word. The Letterkenny men rattle off *yeast* puns.

Hours later, the Skids are exhausted from dancing, whereas Glen remains full of energy. Stewart asks Roald for drugs, but they are out of zoomers and rips; Glen gives them his, as he in fact has not taken any, and says the power of Christ compels him. At this Stewart concedes to share the dollar store parking lot.

> As it turns out, God is actually pretty metal. — Stewart
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Axe and Slash are disappointed with Shyla and Shania's food, as the chicken is dry and you want it to be a bit moist. They object to that word, *moist*. The Letterkenny crowd resumes making *moist* puns. As they are doing so, two trucks pull up next to Shyla and Shania's spot and unload. The Hicks recognize them: Sled Ted, Rat Ass, Jivin' Pete.

> They've assembled the Degen All-Stars. Their organization is baffling. — Katy
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The degen who they encountered earlier at MoDean's introduces himself as Alistair Orson Westwood Yates, and they declare their intent to beat up Shyla, Shania, Axe, and Slash. The latter two, fearing for their lives, beg Tanis for help.

> We're so sorry, Auntie.
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> We wanna come back.
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> We miss you, Tanis. You took care of us.
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> We promise, we'll never get blinded by the pussy again.
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> We'll swear off the pussy. For two weeks. — Axe and Slash
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After a massive scrap, the degens are driven off, and Tanis, reunited with Axe and Slash, shares a meal with the Letterkenny folk. Axe mentions he was worried about cooking the raw chicken so close to the veg; Wayne interrupts because he fuckin' hates that word: *veg*. Katy and Tanis riff puns of *veg* to bother him, with the others joining in. Finally, Wayne stands up, shakes up his beer, and sprays it at the others, who follow in turn.

## Quotes

* Reilly: Fuck buddy, if anybody knows how hot we are, you're looking at 'em.
Jonesy: There's a line-up around the block for this popup shop.
Reilly: Yeah, and nobody's kicking this kid out of bed for eating crackers that's for sure.
Jonesy: I've yet to see one customer not come back for seconds at that buffet.
Reilly: Yeah, I bet you thought everybody skips the continental breakfast. Guess what, they don't.
Jonesy: Take this ride and you're getting right back in line, boys.
Dax: Truth is, you're not really our type, boys.
Reilly: Bull-fucking-shit.
Jonesy: Think we don't see you rocking semis?
Dax: We're gay guys at the gym, we're always rockin' semis.

* Reilly: So like, what are we supposed to call you then? Our gay buddies from the gym, or…
Dax: We took *gay* in the expansion draft from you about a hundred years back.
Jonesy: *Butch*?
Ron: Shout out to our sisters in the women's league.
Reilly: *Fruit*?
Dax: *Fruit* had a cup of coffee in the show a few decades back, but never really produced for either of us.
Jonesy: *Bear*?
Ron: You guys released *bear* a while back for under performing and we got her at a friendly price. Been a real stud for us ever since.
Reilly: *Cub*?
Dax: *Cub'*s been consistent since he put her on line with *bear*.
Jonesy: *Poofter*?
Ron: Still playing overseas, likely gonna retire there.
Reilly: *Nellie*?
Dax: Only your grandpa remembers that alumni.
Jonesy: *Homo*?
Ron: *Homo* maybe in your ring of honor, but never forget the body checks our goons threw down to end that career.
Reilly: *Queen*?
Ron: *Queen* is the best arena music of all time. But still, it's only for some.
Reilly (to Jonesy): I'm not fucking saying it.
Ron and Dax: *Fag*.
Jonesy: Not sure that's P.C., but you said it.
Ron: *Fag* got cut in the '80s, and may have cleared waivers, but we all made a gentlemen's agreement not to sign it because of behavior detrimental to the league.
Dax: Call me Dax.
Ron: Call me Ron.
Reilly: Fuck, let's be buddies, Daxy.
Jonesy: Let's be buds, Ronzy.
Dax: Really?
Reilly: Yeah. Fuck, you guys slam crush butts, we slam crush box, and the world keeps on turning, boys. Well, fuck, come over here and lay some skin on me, Daxy.
Jonesy: Lay some skin on me, Ronzy.
Reilly: Fist time! Look, Jonesy and I usually just fist each other like, just like that.
* Dan: Katy was watching Squirty Dancing just yesterday. Okay, that's a lie; I was watching Squirty Dancing. It's a great movie.
* Dan: You gotta respect athleticisms, Connor Moist-Gregor, Conner Moist-David, Floyd Moist-Weather. Why, they're all at the top of their classes.
Daryl: They're all driving Moist-eradis, that's all I know.
Wayne: May even a Rolls Moist. Or maybe a Moist-cedes Benz.
Daryl: No Moist-subishis Eclipses in this bunch.
Dan: They're not using Capital One Moister-Cards.

## Callbacks and Running Gags

### Introduced

* Nobody's kicking this kid out of bed for eating crackers

### Recurring

* Some of the finest chirping that I've ever received (Letterkenny Problems: Hockey Players)
* Not sure that's P.C., but you said it (The Native Flu)
* Wayne hates kids (Fartbook)
* Tanis "earned the right" to sell cigarettes in Letterkenny by negotiating with Wayne in The Native Flu
* Dan's love of Montreal steak spice (The Native Flu)
* Katy calls the hockey players "Pete and Repeat" (MoDeans 2)

## Cultural References

* "Moist" things: Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan; oysters in Miramichi Bay, New Brunswick; Memphis, Tennessee; the Mississippi River; Mardis Gras; the Rocky Mountain range of the United States of America; musical artists Maestro Fresh Wes, Mos Def, Modest Mouse, the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Paul McCartney, Gucci Mane, Meek Mane, Miley Cyrus, The Misfits, Dead Mou5, and Metallica (and song "Master of Puppets"); beverages Jägermeister, Captain Morgan's (rum) and Coke, Monster Energy Drink; racing motorcross and monster trucks; the Three Musketeers.
* Animated ogre Shrek and his donkey sidekick, Donkey
* A "clap bomb" or "clapper" is a powerful and/or satisfying slapshot that results in a goal; Dax makes a play on words with "clap" as a slang term for gonorrhea, with "pink pills" referring to a common treatment, amoxicillin.
* NHL great Wayne Gretzky often set up behind his opponent's net, leading to that area being nicknamed "Gretky's office." It is one of the "quiet zones" on the ice, where players are not deployed.
* "Louisville rubber shaft" refers to the TPS Response, a composite hockey stick introduced by manufacturer TPS Louisville in the early 2000s which had a rubber-like coating for improved grip. This and competing one-piece composite sticks like the CCM Vector and Easton Synergy were credited with increasing the power/speed of shots over their wooden and fibreglass predecessors.
* The "five hole" is the space between a hockey goaltender's legs. The areas a goaltender protects are numbered: 1. glove side high, 2. glove side low, 3. stick side high, 4. stick side low, 5. the five-hole.
* The Erie Otters are a Major junior hockey team based in Erie, Pennsylvania, one of several American teams who play in the Ontario Hockey League. The Otters are also the team name for California State University, Monterey Bay.
* A "howitzer" (or "howie" for short) is a very fast slap shot, likened in power to a shot from the artillery weapon of the same name.
* "Snatches": saturated fats; 1983 toy sensation Cabbage Patch Kids; scratch-and-sniff stickers; scratch-and-win bingo; Robin Williams film *Patch Adams*; *The Itchy and Scratchy Show* on *The Simpsons*, 1994 film *Natural Born Killers*; British prime minister Margaret Thatcher; British actor Benedict Cumberbatch; 1997 The Prodigy song "Smack My Bitch Up"; rock groups Matchbox 20 and The Smashing Pumpkins.
* "Squirts": Wu-Tang Clan member Old Dirty Bastard, also nicknamed Dirt McGirt; rapper Earl Sweatshirt; Rush drummer Neal Peart; Burton Cummings of The Guess Who; boxer Curtis Mayfield; grunge artist Kurt Cobain; author Kurt Vonnegut; Sesame Street muppet duo Bert & Ernie; 1987 film *Dirty Dancing*; Clint Eastwood's*Dirty Harry* film franchise; Kathryn Bigelow film *The Hurt Locker*; actress Jamie Lee Curtis.
* "Clams": entertainer Sammy Davis Junior; Van Halen front man Sammy Hagar; Chicago Cubs hitter Sammy Sosa; country singer Tammy Wynette.
* "Yeasts": 1991 Disney film *Beauty and the Beast*; the Easter Bunny; 2007 film *Eastern Promises*; HBO series *Eastbound and Down*; 1987 film *The Witches of Eastwick*; British soap opera *EastEnders*; hip=hop group the Beastie Boys; Canadian casual dining chain East Side Mario's; "feast or famine"; "last but not least"
* "The power of Christ compels you" is an exhortation from the Rite of Exorcism of the Catholic Church, popularized by the 1973 film *The Exorcist*
* P.O.D., short for Payable on Death, is an American Christian metal band
* More "moists": Disney characters Mickey and Minnie Mouse; McDonal's clown mascot Ronald McDonald; CTV cooking competition show *MasterChef Canada*; Netflix series *How to Catch a Murderer*; Fox series *America's Most Wanted*; hockey players Conor McGregor and Connor McDavid; boxer Floyd Merriweather; car marques Maserati, Rolls-Royce. Mercedes-Benz, and Mitsubishi; Capital One Mastercard; 1997 Notorious B.I.G. son "Mo Money, Mo Problems"
* "Vegs": "talking someone off the ledge"; "pledge allegiance to the flag"; cigarette brand Benson & Hedges; 1986 Peter Gabriel song "Sledgehammer"; 1981 song "Edge of Seventeen" by the "legendary" Stevie Nicks; 1993 Aerosmith song "Livin' on the Edge"; "legendary" actor Heath Ledger; Andy Warhol protege and actress Edie Sedgwick; actress and former Kevin Bacon spouse Kyra Sedgwick; "full-fledged," "allegedly," "legitimately"; 2014 Tom Cruise film *Edge Of Tomorrow*; "prepare the regiment"; "take them dead or alive."

## Trivia

* This is the first episode in which Shania appears; although originally an antagonist to Tanis, she appears to have joined her inner circle by Season 7 alongside Axe and Slash.
* Wayne longs for a scrap; the last episode in which he was involved in a fight was at the end of Bradley Is a Killer, Season 3 Episode 6.
* This is the last episode in which the Hicks encounter any degens from upcountry.
* Tanis refers to Shyla and Shania as skanks without comment from Wayne; when Katy mentions that they called *her* a skank, however, it is "game on."

## Music

According to Tunefind, the following songs are featured in this episode:

* Gone Global, Pt. 2 (feat. Illvibe & Tay G) by D.O. Gibson (the hockey players drive up the laneway)
* What Do You Wanna Do by Louise Burns (Auntie Tanis cooks)
* Work on You (Para One Remix) by Mstrkrft (Glen and the Skids learn each other's ways)
* Boy Void by No Age
* Le Ruse by Tapes 'N Tapes (end credits)
* Come on Through by Indian Wars

## Appearances

* Wayne
* Katy
* Dan
* Daryl
* Shyla (Cara Gee)
* Shania (Jade Willoughby)
* Alistair (Wayne St. George)
* Axe (Bradley Trudeau)
* Slash (Dylan Cook)
* Joint Boy
* Tyson
* Dax
* Ron
* Reilly
* Jonesy
* Tanis
* Glen
* Stewart
* Roald
* Big Native (Gregory Fisher Odjig)
* Jivin' Pete (Ian Ronningen)
* Sled Ted (Jason Lee Bell)
* Rat Ass (Derek Barnes)
* Various degens

## Locations

* Farm
* MoDean's II
* Gym
* Dollar store
* The Rez

## Gallery

*→ See **80** images from Way to a Man's Heart at **Images from Way to a Man's Heart**.*