Jack Corp.

Hello! If you are reading this, be you friend, foe, or anywhere in between, you have just stumbled into the page for my buisness, JACK CORP™! Now, this is not the official business page for Jack Corp. Jack Corp, as of now, is no longer a corporate entity due to unforeseen circumstances. Luckily, however, an archive of what we are hoping to accomplish and what Jack Corp was is here for viewing on the page!

## Polici**e**s

Jack Corp prides itself on an ethical workspace and top of the line customer support! From the notorious bugs of the Jack Vac Robo™ To the technical support needed to install MemoryWare™, Jack Corp will always have your back in the toughest conditions!

## The Jack **V**ac

Every true JackHead™ Knows that Jack Corp started from the bedroom of our owner and spokesman, the gold skinned boss himself, Jack Gold! As the story goes, Jack started out as a salesperson for Vincent’s Vacuums and Velociraptors, a scam company that specialized in gene splicing bearded dragons and chickens, and pawning them off as velociraptors. While that was going on, they had a side gig selling vacuum cleaners. One day one of the scientists took a lowley chimney sweep/shoe shine/newspaper boy named Jack Gold under their wing, and taught him the ways of gene splicing. Unfortunately, as he was too young, he took to being a door-to-door salesperson. After a long night of being shut out, he hobbled back home and blew out his room candle to sleep on his favorite pile of rocks. But then, he had a thought. He spent all night inventing a vacuum so strong it could vacuum up bacteria and germs, and suck the dirt out of pores. He named it the Jack Vac, after himself. He spent The whole next day selling them, and to his utter shock, the day after the Jack Vac was all over the front page. If you didn’t have a Jack Vac (Link here only 39.99) you where dead to your family. It was huge, and everyone who was anyone had to have one. Obviously Jack patented it, and started building a factory to mass produce them. With the help of a friend, We soon got the Jack Corp you know and love!

## **E**mployment

All of our employees know how great it is to work as Jack Corp™, And we intend to keep it as great as we possibly can! Wether you found out job listing in *screws,* *bolts and hairpins*, heard about it from a friend, or came here on a dare, we are happy to have you! In order to apply, simply take a long walk off a short pier!

## Product **L**isting

* **The Jack Vac:** The Jack Vac is a vacuum with the ability to seemingly clean any surface, from removing all dirt down to the bacterial level on a carpet, to making a dirt path immaculate, to removing cancerous growths if used on exposed organ tissue. When Jack Corp was in buisness, it was priced at around 30 dollars. The vacuum itself was developed by unknown means. In an interview with it’s creator, Jack said that the secret behind all Jack Corp™ products are on a strictly need to know basis. An autopsy reveals its mechanisms to be that of a completely average vacuum cleaner. It is unknown whether it has some cleverly hidden mechanisms, operates on some kind of magic given its zone of origin, or is simply an elaborate hoax.

(Sorry, we are currently digging information on this. Please stand by.)