Rocklobsterfest: Red Lobster 3 with Nicole Byer

"Rocklobsterfest: Red Lobster 3 with Nicole Byer" is Episode 75 of *Doughboys*, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. This episode was released on October 20, 2016.

## Synopsis

As **Rocklobsterfest** enters week 3, the hilarious Nicole Byer (*Girl Code*, *Loosely Exactly Nicole*) returns to the podcast to discuss her lengthy history with Red Lobster, from post church brunches to solo birthday vacation meals. Nicole braves a dystopian post MTV future and describes her hyperspecific Last Meal.

## Nick's intro

Kurt Hankins: you likely don't know his name, but you no doubt know his most famous creation.

In 1988, the flagship seafood chain opened by parent company, Darden Restaurants, removed their popular hushpuppies side from the menu. In search of a cost-efficient starch to fill the void, Hankins - then an executive chef at the corporation - was tasked with crafting its replacement. He settled on a garlic cheese bread that used biscuit flour, and once it landed on tables in test markets, it was an instant hit and spread nationwide.

After years of being known only as Hot Cheese Garlic Bread, the restaurant decided on the iconic name Cheddar Bay Biscuits. As Chef Hankins himself writes, "*you will have a difficult time finding Cheddar Bay on the map. It's a fictitious name created to bring the biscuits to life, embody the seaside theme, and emphasize that these are not your typical biscuits.*"

Not typical indeed!

These extraordinary, savory confections are hugely popular with both fish fanatics and picky, landlubbing kids. The chain's internal numbers claim they serve over one million Cheddar Bay Biscuits every single day nationwide, raising the question: is this a seafood restaurant, or a biscuit restaurant that also serves seafood?

This week on *Doughboys*: part three of **Rocklobsterfest**, our month-long review of Red Lobster.

## Fork and Butter rating 🧈

* 4-course Feast
	+ Creamy Potato Bacon Soup
	+ Caesar Salad
	+ Shrimp Linguini Alfredo
	+ Triple-Chocolate Brownie à la Mode
 Mike Mitchell
* 4-course Feast
	+ New England Clam Chowder
	+ House Salad (Ranch)
	+ Garlic Shrimp Skewers
	+ Triple-Chocolate Brownie à la Mode
 Nicole Byer
* Raspberry Lobsterita
* House Salad (Ranch)
* Bar Harbor Lobster Bake
* Triple-Chocolate Brownie à la Mode
 shared
* Langostino Lobster-Artichoke-and-Seafood Dip

During **Rocklobsterfest**, only the guest gave a final fork rating until the final episode. Nick and Mitch were to rate each visit out of 4 tines (ie., 1 fork), so they could add their visits (forks) together at the end of the month. However, in the second episode, Mitch changed the tine system of the previous episode to lobster claws. In this episode, Nick changes it again to a scale of 1-4 ounces of melted butter.

## Last Meal

Last Meal is a segment where Mitch comes up with a reason for the guest to be executed, who in turn gets to describe her choices for her last meal.

It's the year 2047, and the world is a mess. Nancy Reagan's clone is the President, and upset because the world is immoral, as people show their genitals to each other. Nancy Reagan tries to end this dystopia and sentences everyone who has appeared on MTV to death (inc. Puck, Mike Judge, and anyone who looks like Daria). The ReaganBots have hunted Nicole down and sentenced her to death by putting her in an outhouse, catapulted into the sky, and drowned in the poo.

Nicole's chooses her last meal:

* Vodka & strawberry soda
* Ooey Gooey Butter Cake ice cream from Ample Hills Creamery in Brooklyn
* Mrs. Byer's mac & cheese
* Ms. Odessa's poundcake and vanilla ice cream
* steak from Pacific Dining Car
* sweet potatoes and marshmallows from some lady she knew as a kid

Turns out the ReaganBots are *Westworld* bots and cannot harm humans! So Nicole escapes and ushers in a wave of further immorality.

or,

The *TRL* helicopter with Carson Daly and Kurt Loder shows up, Loder sacrifices himself to save Nicole, as Carson and Whoopi Goldberg (the pilot) fly her to safety, and Nicole takes down all the robots and pushes Nancy Reagan into the outhouse where a T.Rex eats her.

## #hashtags

* #SpookyMonths or #MonsterMonths
* #TableFreak vs. #PlateFreak
* #WheresWhoopi
* #SoupSkeptic
* #WhiteChowderPowder vs. #Red vs. #Blue
* #SouperFreak
* #HealthyMouse
* #ShoddyShrimp
* #TopCracker

## The Feedbag

* McDonald's Sausage McMuffin
* Del Taco Egg & Cheese Breakfast Burrito
 Mike Mitchell
 Nicole Byer
* Pancakes

## Drops and Plugs

* *The Chappelle Show*
* *Saturday Night Live*
* Metallica "Master of Puppets"
 * *South Park*
* *Saturday Night Live*
* *The Chappelle Show*
* Soundgarden "Spoonman"
 *Party Over Here* | Nick and Nicole's show had recently been canceled

## Related Episodes

* 74. Red Lobster 2
* 75. **Red Lobster 3**
* 76. Red Lobster 4
* 127. The Great Shrimp Off
* 75. **Red Lobster 3**
* 94. Chicken Fight: Wing Region
* 100. Nugget Power Hour
* 134. Cinnabon
* DD. Bacon Maple Gremlins
* 196. Mouth of the Border: Finals
* 229. Regina Pizzeria
* 230. 99 Restaurant
* 243. Mac Attack: Elite Ate
* DD. Gremlins in the Wires
* 293. Pie Noon: Finals
* DD. The Mitchy Clause
* 391. BOWL: Finale

## Photos (via @doughboyspod)

Mozzarella CheesesticksRaspberry LobsteritaShrimp Linguini AlfredoTriple-Chocolate Brownie a la Mode