The FCC Song

"**The FCC Song**" is a song from the season four episode "PTV" of the animated television series *Family Guy*. It features Peter, Brian, and Stewie Griffin mocking the FCC for their gratuitous censorship.

The song was performed by series creator Seth MacFarlane in all three roles.

## Lyrics

* Original
* You Can Find it on TV

[Oh yeah, I know all about the FCC!]

They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this

They will make you take a tinkle when you want to take a piss

And they'll make you call fellatio a trouser-friendly kiss

It's the plain situation! There's no negotiation

With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!

They're as stuffy as the stuffiest of special interest groups.

Make a joke about your bowels and they order in the troops!

Any baby with a brain could tell them everybody poops!

Take a tip, take a lesson! You'll never win by messin'

With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!

And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing

You're gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling,

'Cause you can't say penis!

So they sent this little warning, they're prepared to do their worst,

And they stuck it in your mailbox hoping you could be coerced.

I can think of quite another place they should have stuck it first!

They may just be neurotic or possibly psychotic

They're the fellas at the freakin' FCC!

[You know, Brian, we are privileged to live in this particular age of television programming.]

[Really? You think so? Seems to me that nearly all television these days is complete trash.]

[Yes, quite right. But never before in history have we had such a wide selection of trash.]

[Yeah, I guess you're right.]

[Of course I'm right! For example...]

You've got mega hits like *Idol* where Sanjaya took his bow

Just a little boy from India who made us all say wow

With a voice that makes you wanna just go out and kill a cow

Here's the plain situation

A simple declaration

If you want it you can find it on TV

You've got *Scrubs* on NBC in season seven-and-a-half

With the antics of the lovable and talented Zack Braff

Who reminds us that a sitcom doesn't have to make you laugh

You can try to deny it

But we can certify it

If you want it you can find it on TV

And if you start to crave a brand new TV thrill

They're always brewing up some brand new primetime swill

Like the GEICO Caveman

CBS was once a network that was reverent and clean

But today they've got some shows that are remarkably obscene

Like the show about the little boy who lives with Charlie Sheen

Oh, there ain't nothing to it

You click it on and view it

If you want it you can find it on TV

[You know, I think I'm gettin' the idea, Stewie.]

[Ahh? You see?]

[Absolutely! Hey, how 'bout this!]

ABC has got a lineup that's refreshing and alive

With its hits like *Desperate Housewives* just continuing to thrive

And those women look sensational for being sixty-five!

No we won't over-sell ya

We merely wanna tell ya

If you want it you can find it on TV

Now, the Peacock's having trouble simply staying in the race

So I hear they're bringing *Seinfeld* back to save a little face

And I hear Isaiah Washington is taking Kramer's place?

Oh, you may not adore it

But boy you can't ignore it

If you want it you can find it on TV

Now *The Sopranos* is a show I'd recommend

Because you never know just how it's gonna...

So to sum up the philosophy on which we're both agreed

All the garbage on the airwaves is a vital thing indeed

Cause without it then Americans would have to learn to read

And so up with the curtain

It's absolutely certain

If you want it you can find it on TV

## Other Appearances

* The song was released as a single.
* Stewie and Brian performed a parody of the song called "You Can Find It on TV" at the opening of the 2007 gala of the 59th Annual *Primetime Emmy Awards*.

## Videos

Family Guy - The FCC SongStewie & Brian perform at Emmys '07You Can Find It On TV