Characters

## *List of characters in the Assofwar universe, and beyond.*

**Assofwar-** The Creator of this hell. There is no escape, as he is immortal.

**The Cool Gamer! -** The coolest gamer to ever live. He is #69 best man on youtube.

**Karl Alpenpelt** - Legendary hero who ended Santa's drug cartel. He is a paragon, a leader of humanity.

**Santah-** Leader of the mexican drug cartel. (**Deceased.**)

**Harris Clarke** - Retarded leader of the White Cobra Syndicate, who battled the cartel.

**Dakotah Fourweaver** - Disgusting betrayer of the WCS. He peddles donuts to the homeless in order to gain light side points. He does this so he dosen't have any dark side alignment, allowing him to look pure. (**In Prison**)

**Chase Benedict** - Useless member of the WCS. He is just really stupid and useless. Seriously, all they used him for was soaking up bullets!

**Twinkle Plumspirit** - A horrible incarnation of evil and malice. He pushes drugs on the streets of Florida in hopes of getting good men addicted so the cartel can profit off of them.

**Superhippo-** Some kind of strange alien hippo that happened upon Assofwar. He has been influencing his creations and murdering children. He created Obama and The Daily Shit.

**Dubossnick-** A traveler from a different universe parallel to Assofwars. He tries to promote people from his universe to visit and see the true hell that is this universe.

**John-** Some naive fucking kid that killed people with his dong and has a great PC setup.

**Nathan-** The friendly neighborhood pedophile that is Johns best friend, even if he steals his dong.

**David Taylor -** The Owner of the evil institute, Stem Digital, which is an institute that kills innocent people and spawns **Jew Babies** from their underground layer to give people cancer.

**Obama-** The president of the United Asses; where everyone's grandparents live.

**Bear-** The Co-Host of The Daily Shit. He's horrible at his job and is all around a horrible person. Bear is secretly planning to kill Mr.Weatherman and Newsguy.

**Mr. Weatherman-** The smartest person in the known universe. He seems stupid because he is so advanced that he has developed his own mannerisms and way of speaking unlike the other inhabitants of the universe.

**Newsguy-** Some retard that hosts The Daily Shit. He is constantly high due to allergies with the second-hand weed in the atmosphere of the United Asses.

**The Fedoramancer-** His name is Clayton. He is one of the most powerful entities in this universe. His Fedora is made of steel, folded over a million times across generations. There is an entire cult dedicated to him, called Fedoramancy.

**Steven Assanti (The Landwhale)-** The fattest human in history. His gravitational pull is so strong, he controls the van he lives in by the river by shifting his weight. He is the World 1 counterpart to Ocean Man.

**Daytonis- The Dankest Man Alive.** He is so dank, he transcends human culture. He is the living embodiment of memes. He has become. A living meme.

**BoxingonHD-** One of the most badass humans alive. He can wield his shotgun masterfully to intimidate his enemies and save the weak.

**Stem Digital-** A semi-evil corporation that took control of the universe and placed ads on it. Nobody knows where they even came from.

**Awesome202-** An evil entity who is the spearhead of Stem Digital's evil. He is the main enemy of Assofwar. He uses dank memes to eliminate his enemies, and shitty music reactions to grow his subscriber's dicks.

**Johnny Johnny**  - More info on the page linked

**Papa-** Johnny Johnny's regretful father. He contemplates suicide everyday for what he has done. He eventually came to work for Archibald and is trying to kill Johnny.

**Archibald Williesworth-** He is one of the richest men in the known universe. He comes from a long line of Willies that were rich from generosity and kindness. He ruined this by becoming a war profiteer. He has a huge stock in the sugar market, and he is sending assassins to kill Johnny Johnny.

**The Conjurer-** This woman summons food for Assofwar and Dubossnick when in trouble times, and has a pet named Kiki who tries to steal the summoned treats.

**Gay Luigi-** One of the most unexpectedly powerful beings in this universe. He can use his screams to break the sound barrier, causing explosions. The only person known to be able to fight him is his brother, Straight Mario.

**Gamer Dust Off Gaming Kit Guy -** The clone of Awesome\_202 but in World One, which is the way we will find Stem Digital's secret layer of darkness.

**Donald Trump -** A man who got rich off of being a fat-ass and his dad giving him "A small loan of a million dollars."

**Flying\_Bidoof -** Oh dear god, this is the cringe lord of cs:go! If you hear someone screaming "AND WE GONNA LET IT BURN BURN BURN BURN!", RUN AS FAR AWAY YOU CAN! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlxxgzYUado

**Jhonny John Jonson-** John's false identity for online things. Under this, he has created the rap song to end all rap songs: "*Fuck You*" by Jonny Jhon Johnson. He has also stolen and reuploaded "*Where is Minecraft*".

**Ocean Man -** He takes people by the hand to a dark, sinister land that only he can understand. Once there, they are killed and eated by Ocean Man. Once he consumes enough **Jew Babies**, he will grow exponentially until he explodes, killing all life in world 2.

**The Dungler -** A homeless man with a knife for a penis. World 2's equivalent of the homeless man who had Minecraft Ad AIDS except much more important. He instead lived through the disease and became a harbinger of destruction. Real name is "ILL SMITH".

*----------------------------------------------------------World 38 Characters----------------------------------------------------------------------*

Yifford Knottington

John (38)

Assofwar (38)

Jimbobgreen (38)

Superhippo (38)

Bepis

The Master of the Blade

Karl Alpenpelter

Banana Man

The Screamer

Dew Immortus

The Destroyer

Lord Victorio Scrumblestein