Jeff the Killer vs. Jason Voorhees

## Jeff the Killer vs. Jason Voorhees by Tommy Mason

(Jeff the Killer was created by Sesseur/GameFuelTV. Jason Voorhees was created by Victor Miller/Sean S. Cunningham.)

After years of murdering anyone he pleased, the serial killer known as Jeff Woods had finally been caught and arrested. He had been ruled legally insane and thus was sentenced to be incarcerated in Ferguson's Asylum. It was Friday the 13th, and he was currently on a prison transport bus inbound for the asylum. As they were driving through Forest Green, New Jersey, the bus suddenly crashed. Somehow, Jeff had survived with only minor injuries. Fortunately for him (and unfortunately for everyone else) the impact of the crash had damaged his handcuffs enough for him to remove him.

Jeff crawled out of the wreckage and wiped the broken glass off his prison jumpsuit. He heard a gurgling noise behind him. He walked to the front of the now wrecked bus and saw that the bus driver was still alive. When the bus crashed, the bush driver had been thrown halfway through the window of his door and gotten trapped. The man's eyes grew wide as Jeff approached him, and he tried to scream but couldn't. Jeff looked closer at his prey and realized that the man had a switchblade in his pocket, presumably for protection. Jeff grinned maniacally. A switchblade was different from his usual kitchen knife, but it would still do. The man could do nothing but watch helplessly as the infamous murderer reached into his pocket and pulled out the switchblade.

"I guess what they say is true. Friday the 13th really *is* an unlucky day." said Jeff before he slit the bus driver's throat multiple times and carved a smile into his cheeks. When he was certain the man was dead, Jeff began to look at his surroundings. The road the bus had crashed on was near a campsite. Camp Crystal Lake, to be precise. *A campsite? Maybe I can crash there for the night before making my getaway,* he thought. He walked past the Crystal Lake sign and into the forested area. Finally, he came across the actual campgrounds and walked towards the first cabin he saw. What he found inside shocked even someone as psychopathic as him. The nude body of a 20-something woman was being hacked up with a machete. *Guess she was getting lucky before she got a different kind of penetration*, thought Jeff with a smile. The equally nude remains of, presumably, her boyfriend were on the ground in the corner of the room.

The man finished hacking up the woman, now sure she was dead. Looking at him closer, he looked familiar to Jeff. He was a huge man, over 6 feet tall. His clothes were dripping wet and covered in blood. His face was covered by a battle-damaged hockey mask, but it was obvious by his gray, decayed flesh that he was undead. Finally, it clicked in Jeff's head. "You're Jason Voorhees! I've heard urban legends about you my whole life! Liu used to tell stories about you and that Freddy Krueger guy around the campfire!" exclaimed Jeff, without thinking. Jason turned and looked directly at Jeff, finally noticing his presence. The mere mention of Freddy Krueger had filled him with rage. Jason raised his machete above his head and started menacingly walking towards his fellow slasher. *Uh oh. I think I made him mad*, Jeff thought. He decided that he had no choice but to fight the hockey masked maniac. *I've fought Slender Man before and lived. I can take this guy*, thought Jeff.

"Go to sleep, you hockey playing piece of shit!" shouted Jeff as he lunged at Jason, stabbing him in the abdomen and causing him to drop his machete. Jason then picked Jeff up with one hand and threw him against a wall, before taking the knife out his abdomen and throwing it in Jeff's direction. Jeff dodged the attack, picked up the switchblade and went to stab Jason, but the Camp Blood slasher simply grabbed his wrist and tried to make Jeff stab himself in the neck. Jeff started kicking Jason's face in an attempt to get him to stop. He accidentally kicked Jason's hockey mask off his head, exposing the hideously deformed face underneath. This enraged the slasher even more and he threw Jeff straight threw the cabin's door, shattering it and exposing them both to the outside air. Jeff, in pain, ran away from the cabin and into the forest, while his attacker was busy putting his mask back on.

*I've really underestimated this guy*, realized Jeff. *I can't fight him head on; I'll have to outsmart him*. Jeff decided to use a different tactic: stealth. He hid behind the tallest tree he could and waited for the Crystal Lake killer to come into view. After a long time, Jason finally showed his masked face. Jeff waited until his foe's back was turned before he silently crept up on him and drove his knife as deep into his back as he could, hitting the spine. He held the knife tight as he dragged it down Jason's back, before pulling it out. Jason turned around to face his attacker, but Jeff stabbed him in the throat.

Jason Voorhees fell over, seemingly dead. "Go to sleep...motherfucker!" said Jeff before he started to walk away. Without warning, the hockey masked serial killer suddenly rose up and grabbed Jeff by the arm. Jeff tried to escape the more experienced slasher's grip but to no avail. Jason stood to his feet while maintaining his grip on his foe. He gripped tighter and tighter until they both heard a sickening snapping sound. Jeff began screaming in pain as blood started pouring down his now broken arm. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" screamed Jeff. Trying to escape his grip, he punched Jason multiple times, which just pissed off the undead slasher even more. In a desperate move, Jeff tried grabbing the machete Jason was holding in his other hand. This caused Jason to slam Jeff hard against a nearby tree.

Even in his dazed and severely injured state, Jeff knew this was his only opportunity to escape and once more run away from his enemy as fast as he could. Jason began leisurely walking after him. There was no reason for him to run, he knew he would catch up to his victim eventually. After all, he had done this many times before. Jeff ran back to the campground and into another cabin. Jeff ran into it and shut the door behind him, hoping he'd have enough time to think of a way out of the mess he was in. Then, he spotted something: a can of gasoline. He grinned as an idea popped in his head. Earlier that night, he had taken a lighter from the same man he stole his switchblade from. When Jason angrily smashed through the front door of the cabin, Jeff had already splashed gasoline everywhere with his working arm. Jeff emerged from his hiding place, holding the gasoline can. As Jason advanced towards Jeff, he splashed him with the last of the gasoline and threw the can at him.

"Go. To. Sleep!" said Jeff, before pulling the lighter out of his pocket, lighting it and throwing it in Jason's direction. Jason immediately erupted into flames, but still kept advancing towards Jeff. The fire quickly spread across the whole cabin. Due to the flames obscuring his vision, Jason started wildly swinging his machete around. Jeff ran past the distracted Jason to escape from him and the fires, receiving a deep cut from Jason's swinging machete along the way. As Jason was looking for a way out, the burning roof collapsed on him. When he got out of the cabin and ran a good distance away, Jeff stopped to look at the burning cabin. The fires reminded him of when Keith lit him ablaze all those years ago.

After staring at the fire for a while, Jeff decided he had been in Camp Crystal Lake far too long and left to find the road again. He planned on carjacking someone and using their car to make a getaway. When he got to the road, it was completely empty with no signs of activity. Sensing no immediate danger, he thought it'd be OK if he stopped and rested for a minute. "I did it! I made Jason Goddamn Voorhees go to sleep! That's what you get when you fuck with Jeff the Killer! He couldn't get me! Jane couldn't get me! Liu couldn't get me! Not even Slender Man could get me! I'm invincible!" screamed Jeff to nobody in particular. Just then, a police car drove by and stopped next to Jeff. Four police officers came out of the squad car and pointed their guns at him. "Freeze, freak! You're getting a one-way trip to Ferguson's Asylum!" shouted one of the cops. "Ah, shit. I guess Friday the 13th really *is* an unlucky day." replied Jeff.

Little did Jeff know; Jason hadn't gone to sleep. Not by a longshot. No, he had survived.

Jason Voorhees pushed the rubble of the burning cabin out of the way and walked back into the woods of Camp Crystal Lake, awaiting the next time he'd have to defend his territory from outsiders.

THE END?