Episode 29: World Wide Health Care

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

Everyone needs a doctor, but what if doctor is too expensive? Or doctor pay too much to make country bankrupt? Are patients out of patients?

## Idea Details

* Idea: World Wide Health Care, Blood Roomba
* Creator of idea: Josiah
* Purpose of idea: Well what I'm trying to get at is that the coronaviruth hath really changed the way we thee humanity and it'th cauthed a bit of a health thcare acroth humanity - a health thcare. And everyone wanth - everyone's having a health thcare from the coronaviruth. And people want free health thcare! And so today I wanna talk to you about health care. (Drew: "Wait……… Can you say that again about the health scare?") I said health thcare. From the coronaviruth. People want free health care! And they're willing to thay 'thufferin thuckatath' cause they want it so bad. Tho bad. They're down bad for it. Health care. Do you not know what health care is? (Drew: "No, I understand what health care is. Okay just move forward.") Health thcare. Is there a problem with the connection? Thlow internet? (Drew: "Health - health - health care.") Health thcare. (Drew: "Health - ") Pardon? (Drew: "Health care?") You had a health thcare? Health thcare? (Drew: "Health - are you saying health scare or health care?") What'th the confusion? (Drew: "I'm just asking if you're saying health care or health scare.") Health thcare. (Drew: "Health care.") Health. COVID-19th coronaviruth health thcare. The thymptomth. The thymptomth! (Drew: "Health care?") Can you check - did you check your internet? (Drew: "I checked my internet. There's nothing wrong with my internet!") We're gonna talk about health care and uh what it means. Health care, there needs to be Medicare For All, free health care. Of course, in Canada, health care is as easy as just uh going to the doctor is all you gotta do. And they pay you to do it here. It's not a lot, I mean people think we're getting paid a lot of money to go to the doctor. (Drew: "You can't live off of it.") If you're frugal, maybe. But you know, I don't know if you've noticed this but Americans will not shut the fuck up about health care. It's one of those - I mean they're just loud boorish people to begin with. I say that with all due respect, of course, but I mean shut the fuck up. Give it a rest. Have you noticed that? (Drew: "About everything?") About a lot of things but the doctor too, I think. (Drew: "You think the doctor needs to shut the fuck up? Because the doctor is pretty important. The doctor is pretty important to everybody's health. He's keeping you safe. He or she.") No, no, no. I just think whether you pay or are getting paid to go to the doctor, just shut up - no one needs to know - TMI! Before I get to my main point here about free health thcare, I think that you maybe don't know what it is. (Drew: "Health scare?") You had a health scare? (Drew: "No, are you saying health care or health scare?") Let's clarify a little bit with - (Drew: "It's like that Beatles song, *Healthcare Healthscare*. Do you know that song, Josiah? The Beatles song? *Healthcare Healthscare*?") But do you kinda get what health care is now maybe? (Drew: "It's going to the doctor and when you point at your elbow.") So brain stuff is also a doctor thing, okay? So imagine you couldn't go to the doctor for free or get paid I mean you get paid to go to doctor. So this is a kind of a thing: medical advice, doc- heart, uh old, man, things like that, and uh difficulties, sickness, illness. So it's - medicine, doctors, and pills are the only things strong enough to beat diseases, and we need them to survive. But unfortunately, especially in America where they won't just shut the fuck up and stop whining about it, they can't have that stuff cause they can't afford it. Too much money for them. And so this is what it's come down to is that they're trying to like get free - so do you kinda get what I'm saying? It's like - (Drew: "No, I don't understand. I don't understand.") Well because the health care in America has gotten so bad these days that it's really just you have to um it's tough to uh the money - the financial toll - toil of health care in America is just out of control. So I think that's just kind of showing sort of the mixture of being a health nurse and uh getting Starbucks and trying to figure out how to navigate this complex - it's uh I think it's called late capitalism is what it is. It's gotten so bad down south - not too, I'm talking about in the middle part of the down south, America - it's gotten so bad that people have even started writing songs about it. So do you kinda get what I'm getting at about the need for the doctor? We need to figure out how to get - so the doctor is too expensive in America and I think in Canada paying us to go to the doctor is costing way too much money because in the same way that health care workers are lying everywhere to get free Starbucks, in Canada people are lying and pretending that they have a boo-boo so they can get paid by the doctor here. The problem goes both ways! So what if - I guess what I'm trying to get at is what if we just got rid of the doctor altogether. Remove the doctor from the equation. (Drew: "But you just said doctors are so important.") Well they are, but there's too many people going there is the - I mean there's just too - it's too much. (Drew: "Wouldn't it make more sense to have more doctors then?") I mean, sure, that would make sense if we were made of - if money grew on trees and we could - I mean that could be maybe we should have done that episode first about - (Drew: "About money that grows on trees?") I guess a new currency that is leafs. What if we just changed the world currency to leaves? (Drew: "That's a really good idea, Josiah.") And you know what els- And then also in - the fall foliage would be swept up real quick, put in your wallet. (Drew: "But people would always be trying to take your leaves, don't you think?") Well, we'd have to figure out a system. I mean, it's like anything else you have. Once something has value attributed to it, then - but you just put your leaves in a bank, I guess. So what if we just had no more - what if we just had the same amount of doctors now but to give them a bit of a brea- these people are out of control with how much work they gotta do. The paperwork, the blood, and the paps that they gotta do all the time, it's out of control. So what if instead for sort of common sicknesses like, for example the coronaviruth that is wreaking havoc on causing health thcares around the world, what if we could just sort of develop something that could take care of it? Get rid of it? (Drew: "That would get rid of all diseases?") Yeah, what if we just could develop something that would get rid of all diseases? And all anything that's not a broken bone, any kind of disease that is forming inside the body, what if it could be maybe sucked up?
* Timetable: Blood Roombas will take longer than most other ideas because it requires reworking the entire world's health care system, along with a 300% increase in doctors for a few years before they are eliminated, and creating the technology for building miniature human duplicates who know how to build miniature Blood Roombas. It should be ready sometime around 2050.
* Idea details:
	+ Josiah and Drew will partner with the iRobot company to make a miniscule Blood Roomba. Roombas already look like pills so this will be a natural fit.
	+ The Facebook content creators who make sped up videos of someone creating a miniature thing will work on creating miniature human being duplicates of themselves, who will then create the miniature Blood Roombas.
	+ Blood Roombas will be the size of a large pill that you could possibly swallow without water if you were trying to impress someone, but you should still have some water. The amount of water should be around a few sips and not too much more, because you do need to lubricate your throat but there are electrical components, so the amount should be determined through conversation with your physician.
	+ The science of creating the miniature human duplicates who are tasked with building the miniature Blood Roombas is secondary to this discussion and the details did not need to be shared.
	+ For the first few years after implementation of the Blood Roombas, at least 75% of all doctors will have to spend all of their time doing routine check-ups of everyone who has ingested a Blood Roomba.
	+ In addition to seeing a doctor to check on your health, everyone will have to also see a Rug Doctor to check on the Blood Roomba.
	+ Blood Roombas cruise through the bloodstream and is trained to suck up anything that is not red. Since green is the opposite color of red, and green is germs, this programming will be a natural fit for the Blood Roomba technology.
	+ There is a switch that will reverse the programming of the Blood Roombas to weaponize them by making them eat red and save green. That protocol will only be used on bad guys.
	+ The Blood Roomba will cruise around the body until it gets tired, at which point it will go back to its charging station under the tongue.
	+ There will be a generic affordable model of the Blood Roombas, but there will also be a more expensive model with a waxing and polishing function.
	+ The word 'Roomba' in the name 'Blood Roomba' is meant as a catch-all term for any robot vacuum. Ultimately, it has yet to be determined which company will partner with Globe Hell Warning to save humanity by creating a Blood Roomba. Ideally this company will be the iRobot company because of the dual brush function.
	+ The loudness of your personal Blood Roomba is based on your personal choice.
	+ Everyone in the world will be required to have a Blood Roomba installed.
	+ All doctors in the world will eventually be eliminated, but there will need to be about a 300% increase in doctors for the first few years of Blood Roombas.
	+ There will be a smart app to go along with the Blood Roomba so you can check on the battery life and performance and watch a video of it moving through your blood pipelines.
	+ Each Blood Roomba comes standard with a camera, but using it throws off the balance of the Blood Roomba as it moves through your bloodstream. You cannot get a model without a camera, but you could potentially affix a piece of tape over the lens to block it.
	+ The app will collect and sell information about you from your blood.

## Devil Play

* Drew played devil by asking where the power comes from that powers the charging station. He asked if you need to also charge the charging station. He suggested that everyone can sleep on a metal wireless charger instead of a bed.

## Notable Events

* Globe Health Warning
* World Wide Wednesday
* Josiah played a remix of *Why Do I Have Blue Eyes?* that he created in partnership with a few million years of human expression called "Blue Eyes (electroswing edit)".
* Globe Hell Warning Nightclub
* Drew and Josiah listened to *Wonders Dub I* by Long Beach Dub Allstars, which Drew revealed he actually created.
* Josiah and Drew introduced a new weekly segment where they discuss who was the winner of politics and the loser of politics that week, using analytics. For Week 1, Drew's loser of politics was Joe Exotic and his winner of politics was the Pope, and Josiah's winner of politics was Josiah and his loser of politics was Drew. They had so much fun they did it again immediately. For Week 1, Drew's loser of politics was Donald Trump and his winner of politics went unnamed, and Josiah's loser of politics was Drew and his winner of politics was Josiah.
* Josiah and Drew watched a 32-minute video about the difference between sore, hurt, and pain.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about MicroActive PQQ.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about orthostatic hypotension.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about medicines.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about a male nurse tricking service workers into giving him free coffee.
* Josiah and Drew listened to *Medicare for All Song* by suescannon.
* Josiah and Drew watched a silent video about health care.
* Josiah and Drew discussed a possible future idea where the world currency is changed to leaves.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about microrobots going through the bloodstream.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about the best robot vacuums.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video of a Roomba running to demonstrate the volume of the Blood Roombas.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "I'm the host of honor."
* "I don't know what - what episode number is this? Number 30 or something?"
* "I come bearing gifts from Episode 27: Why Do I Have Blue Eyes? I've been working on this ever since then for uh quite a long time, I've been uh sort of learning audio production, learning about the history of genres and subgenres, I've been working really hard, so I'm pleased today, if you'll allow me, to uh drop a remix that I've made. Sort of for the - I know we can't all go out to the nightclubs right now, but when they open up again, hopefully they'll play this one there. But until then, let's make this into a nightclub. The Globe Hell - Globe Hell Warning Nightclub."
* "It's my week for an idea, but every week you should be bringing your A-game. And I don't think it should be just your 'eh?' - your Canadian accent - your 'eh?' game."
* "I have a feeling that if you were invited to a potlu - the qual- the caliber of things that you bring, if you were invited to a potluck, you would probably just bring some pot for yourself and also not - you have bad luck, is probably what I would..."
* "What about a word like disgovernment? Could we do something with that? Instead of gover- you know, there's government but then there's disgovernment. Disgovernm- You need to analyze like - just yeah finding things. Disgovernment."
* "Do you kind of um - I wanna - I did wanna ask you this - I meant to ask you this before we started uh but like with the huh what's it called, COVID? The pandemic going on? Don't you just wish you were doing hood rat shit with your friends? Don't you just look around and say, 'I wish that I was doing hood rat shit with my friends'? I don't know what it means but I do wish it."
* "[Looking at a picture of Drew and his boys after the vaccine] Oh wow, you're docking each other. With your cocks."
* "I said health thcare. From the coronaviruth. People want free health care! And they're willing to thay 'thufferin thuckatath' cause they want it so bad. Tho bad. They're down bad for it. Health care."
* "When people go to the doctor, they're getting 'doxxed'."
* "Ass."
* "[In response to Drew saying he takes Tylenol instead of aspirin because he hates saying 'ass'] That's cause you're so busy eating ass. You don't need to take it in pill form."
* "I think that's a man right there. And he's nurse. It's 2020, bro."
* "Go to our Twitter, everyone, and also go to our Patreon and put some money in there cause we're basically doctors."
* "What if we just changed the world currency to leaves?"

### Drew

* "You're like a guest everywhere you go. You don't just don't you just don't quite belong, do ya?"
* "[In response to Josiah's question regarding his thoughts on blue lives] Let's not talk about it, Josiah."
* "That was fun! I think we should do it immediately do it again now."
* "You have to imagine Joe Exotic is really - you have to feel bad for the guy. All he wanted to do was shoot some tigers, and a woman. And a woman. I forgot about that."
* "[On the topic of hanging out with his boys after the vaccine hits] What if it was 'This is me and The World Wide Boy after the vaccine hits'? It's The World Wide Boy is on stage yodeling and I'm picking along on my banjo."
* "Health scare?"
* "No, are you saying health care or health scare?"
* "It's like that Beatles song, *Healthcare Healthscare*. Do you know that song, Josiah? The Beatles song? *Healthcare Healthscare*?"
* "I hate these things. Being sore. Being in pain."
* "I have a pain right now. A pain in the rear. It's called Josiah Hughes."
* "I went to the doctor and I said, 'I have Josiah Hughes ass'."
* "[In response to Josiah saying 'Eye strain, you strain'] Restrain, retain."
* "I always take Tylenol cause I hate saying 'ass'."
* "[On the topic of what health care is] It's going to the doctor and when you point at your elbow."
* "Don't try and trick! Maybe don't - maybe don't try and trick service workers. Or harass them."
* "Follow the lying nurse. And his YouTube pranks."
* "World Wide Train was my idea."

## Trivia

* This is the first episode with the words "World Wide" in the episode title since Episode 23: World Wide Pet.
* This is the first odd-numbered episode that involves an idea created by Josiah. Prior to this episode, odd-numbered episodes discussed ideas created by Drew (other than Episode 1: World Wide Train, Episode 15: World Wide Beer with special guest Tom, and Episode 27: Why Do I Have Blue Eyes?), while even-numbered episodes discussed ideas created by Josiah (other than Bus and Episode 28: The Dream Scientists).
* This is the third episode to feature music by Long Beach Dub Allstars, after Blue Collar Pretzel Logic Patreon Episode and Episode 27: Why Do I Have Blue Eyes?.