Great Heist of Daniel

The Great Heist of Daniel was an event alleged to have occurred between Robert Rendine and Daniel Hua at Shake Shack, during which Daniel is alleged to have stolen a Chicken Bite from Rendine. The events transcribed here are entirely under dispute by Hua, however his credibility has diminished in recent years.

After a long day of school in the Freshman Year, Robert Rendine, Nathaniel Berkman, Oz Gottesman and Daniel Hua decided to go to Shake Shack. This group of friends was rather abnormal for an excursion, as Berkman and Gottesman were only moderately friendly with Hua at this point, meaning that Rendine was expected to be the social adhesive to make this an enjoyable meal. After ordering the food, the boys sat at the table closest to the Shake Shack counter, making any heist all the more daring and death defying. A diagram of the Shake Shack setup is attached below.

### Rendine's Theory of Events

Robert Rendine alleges that after he had stood up from his table at Shake Shack to retrieve napkins, Daniel had taken one of his ten Shake Shack Chicken Bites, leaving nine chicken bites remaining. This statement was evidenced by the fact that Rendine ordered a 10 pc Chicken Bites and had counted out all ten bites prior to the alleged theft.

Rendine initially went to sit down at the table, but realized he had forgotten to get napkins. Rendine then placed his chicken bites in the center of the table before going to the counter to retrieve the forgotten napkins, nearly 15 feet away from the table and the chicken. Rendine was held up by the fact that the Shake Shack staff had forgotten to replace the empty napkin dispenser, thus forcing him to ask for a new one. Altogether, there was an almost 90 second window for the theft to occur. During this 90 second window, Berkman and Gottesman, lacking any social connection to Hua outside of their mutual friendship with Rendine, would have likely turned to their phones. While Berkman and Gottesman were distracted on their phones, Hua had enough time to steal the chicken. Upon his return to the table with the napkins, Rendine recounted his bites and accused Hua of the heist. Rendine then asked the members of the table who had stolen the bite, and Berkman and Gottesman both vouched that each other hadn't taken it, leaving Hua alone in his theft. Rendine loudly accused Hua in a profanity-laced rant. Rendine's accusation caused Gottesman and Berkman to burst into laughter, jokingly admitting that Hua had stolen the bite, before Hua forced them to retract their statements. Berkman has stated that Hua definitively did not steal the nugget, while Gottesman attests that he did not see Hua steal the bite, but that such a theft could have easily occurred without him or Berkman noticing.

### Hua's Account of Events

Hua alleges that Rendine miscounted the nuggets in his initial count, and that there were nine nuggets the whole time. Moroever, Hua alleges that Rendine's rant was so funny it induced Gottesman and Berkman to momentarily implicate him, and their testimony thereafter proves his innocence.

### Conclusion

Most intelligent people agree that it is more probable that someone as selfish and gluttonous as Hua likely stole the nugget during the 90 second window while Gottesman and Berkman were distracted on their phones. Hua has few defenders to this day and struggles with credibility in the age of the Munch joke.