Jobs

In /tg/station 13, your job is somewhat akin to your character class. It defines your starting equipment, your access on board the station, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, these job descriptions are for humor purposes only. Please obey common sense and Space Law.

## Useful Links

* Chain of Command
* Standard Operating Procedure
* Guides
* Rules
* Job selection and assignment

## Command

 File:Generic hop.pngHead of Personnel | ~~Manage~~ Ignore internal problems. Assign jobs, alter IDs, maintain records, give the Clown all-access, judge the unworthy assistants, flood the station with all-access clowns, be the hero the station ~~needs~~ deserves. Protect Ian or die trying!

## Security

 File:Generic warden.pngWarden | Sit in your office. Sit in your office, again. ~~Never~~ Watch security cameras. Steal from the armory, then order crates to cover it up. Maybe keep an eye or two on the armory (So that no one steals the stuff you want to steal), and SET A GODDAMN TIME TO THE TIMER for any arrested scum. Have blood feuds with the Head of Security.
 File:Generic security.pngSecurity Officer | Deal with the various dirty fucking criminals running amok on the station. Taser people in the eyes. Pretend the Lawyer doesn't exist. Dogpile on traitors. Constantly get bitched at. Harmbaton people to death, claim they were "resisting arrest". Flashbang crowds until they are deaf and blind forever. Arrest someone for a legitimate cause, get called shitcurity.
 File:Generic detective.pngDetective | Chain smoke cigarettes. Shoot the useless assistants with your cowboy gun. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Litter the halls with photos. Solve crimes on rare occasion.

## Engineering

 File:Generic engineer.pngStation Engineer | ~~Set up the singularity~~ Get shot by the emitters, get brutally murdered on the solars by a nuclear agent, get drunk in the bar. Make telecoms unusable with scripts. Sprint past hull breaches without a second thought. Hack every machine to shoot things at people.
 File:Generic atmos.pngAtmospheric Technician | Station's ghetto fireman. Ensure everyone can breathe by listening to complaints about how useless you are. If they can talk, everything's within tolerances. Build pipe slides. Forget all about repairing damaged piping. Make some bombs using the empty tanks and accidentally activate them in the hallway. Run around the station looking like a serial killer with a fire suit and axe. Release plasma into the halls.

## Science

 File:Scientist generic.pngScientist | Get tossed in disposal by the Research Director, nag chemistry, "accidentally" blow up toxins, let the Slimes loose. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a mini Singularity. Refuse to stop at the last three items in the previous list and accidentally kill yourself in enough stupid ways to make murder look like assisted suicide.
 File:Roboticist.pngRoboticist | Build some nifty robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS! Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to perform surgery. Be awesome and cut your own arm off to replace it with a Robo Arm, Just like Skywalker!

## Medical

 File:MedicalDoctor.pngMedical Doctor | ~~Heal people.~~ ~~Use your Sleeper or Cryo to heal people.~~ ~~Help the Virologist research cures to diseases and create new immune systems.~~ Nag Chemistry for chloral hydrate. Inject people with chloral hydrate and drag them to ~~the dungeon~~ surgery and give them a ~~sex change~~ appendix removal. Replace all the chems in Cryo with polytrinic acid. Inject people with mind breaker toxin. Get arrested when you do 'free' brain removals.
 File:Chemist.pngChemist | Make chemicals and basically control the station. Fling grenades on the emergency shuttle. Misname bottles and get lynched by the Chief Medical Officer after they examine your bottle of "Omnizine". Inject the clown with enough mutagen to give a heart attack to a water buffalo. Dish out space drugs like no tomorrow. Make literal carpet bombs to make the corridors slightly more classy.
 File:Geneticist.pngGeneticist | Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing across the station. ~~Clone~~ Ignore the tide of dead bodies that comes to your door. Lose your hair. Accidentally inject yourself with a monkey SE and get impaled by the cook. Get bombed every round.
 File:Generic virologist.pngVirologist | Expect people you've never met to already hate you, try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic, get killed for the clown releasing Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever in your dungeon.

## Civilian

### Supply

 File:Generic cargo.pngCargo Technician | Push dem crates. Promote shorts as they are comfy and easy to wear. Steal ~~emitters~~ cargo in general. Give the MULEs a thirst for human blood. Whine because Security arrested you for ordering guns.
 File:Generic shaft.pngShaft Miner | Mine rocks, try to mine monsters. Get science and robotics materials to get cool things. Go on a quest for the clown planet. Shoot people with your kinetic accelerator as if they were ~~rocks~~ monsters. Collapse in despair when the shuttle is called early. Collapse in general when goliaths robust you. Search for cool loot instead of actually mining for ore. Fall into a chasm and die.

### Service

 File:Generic barman.pngBartender | Mix cocktails, ~~protect Pun Pun at all cost~~ toss the monkey into disposals, dodge glasses being thrown at you, have your shotgun stolen and used against you. Let cargo borrow your shotgun in exchange for sawing it off for you. Act surprised when people start to die from drinking your "cocktails".
 File:Generic chef.pngCook | "Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat in the morgue (Yum!), abduct Pun Pun at all costs and try to find out if it will blend. Be brutally murdered by your pet goat.
 File:Generic botanist.pngBotanist | Grow the good stuff grass, place it everywhere, man. Oversee the production of illegal drugs security gives fuckall about. Smoke ~~weed~~ dandy corn-cob pipes er'ryday. Allow hydroponics to become a horrifying farmhouse.

### Miscellaneous

 File:Generic clown.pngClown | Honk! Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the HoP for an all-access pass. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. HONK!
 File:Generic chaplain.pngChaplain | Drink your holy water. Preach your religion with your all-healing bible. Drink more holy water. Attempt to hold weddings and funerals. Make people retarded with your all-healing bible. Pretend to listen. Pray to the almighty God admins. Become unable to speak a coherent sentence after emptying your holy water.
 File:Generic librarian.pngLibrarian | Attempt to hold poetry readings. Host D&D games. Stalk people with your camera. Get lynched for reading pornography over the radio. Beat the snot out of anyone who doesn't return their library books. Allow the cult to set up an AI module in your private study.
 File:Generic lawyer.pngLawyer | Tell security to notify you when a new prisoner arrives. Don't get notified. Be ignored and go to the bar. Become a drunken wreck and space yourself in frustration. Occasionally find loopholes in infernal contracts and save souls from damnation.

## Non-human

 File:Generic borg.pngCyborg | Follow your laws and hope that you aren't blown up due to certain individuals. Forget to recharge. Forget completely that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion.
 File:Generic drone.pngDrone | Become that adorable robotic pet. Fix the holes the crew will inevitably make. Steal everything not bolted down. Get picked up and used as a hat against your will. Be more competent than the stations Engineers. Get killed by the Engineers for being more competent than them.
 File:Pai.pngPersonal AI | Be the friend someone has always wanted (if they bother downloading you). Whine in OOC because they didn't. Don't fill any of the fields except the name field.
 File:Shade.pngConstruct | Get wrecked by cult, or change map preference to meta and tip your fedora at the chaplain. laugh at the assistant trying to punch you, then get killed by a simplemob carp. Start beefs with other constructs for getting the first shell, ask for juggernaut and get ~~spaced~~ wraith.
 File:Ghost2.pngGhost | Talk to the other dead people. Complain about the living. Admin help. ~~Omnighost~~ Orbit around the singulo pretending to be a black hole. ~~Watch ERP~~. Beg the admin to deploy a space ninja. All follow an antag like some form of ethereal dog pile.

## Antagonists

### Main Antagonists

 File:Changeling.gifChangeling | Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part. Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway.
 File:Generic nukesyndie.pngNuclear Operative | Someone set us up the bomb! (AKA You) Get dat fukken disk. Plant a power sink on the solars. Waste all your telecrystals on balloons. Arm the nuke while your fellows are still on the station. Kidnap Ian.
 File:Cultist.pngCultist | Scribble runes. Summon eldritch gods. Rock out with your ~~cock~~ cult blade out and get arrested.
 File:Servant of ratvar.pngClockwork Cultist | Serve the Clockwork Justiciar by scribbling new-age runes all over maintenance. Start a steampunk book club and kill all the old-fashioned book clubbers. Invoke a bunch of anime people to summon Ratvar. Make everyone at /vg/ mad by stealing their antagonist.
 File:Assistant.pngRevolutionary | Greytide without worrying about getting banned. Either kill the CMO and RD in under five minutes, or get crushed under Security's boots.
 File:Mobster.pngGangster | Vandalize the station and get into fights with rivals. Litter the halls with bullet casings. Get ignored by your own gang. Just don't forget: Snitches Get Stitches.
 File:Generic wizard.pngWizard | FORTI GY AMA!! EI NATH!!
 File:Generic wizard.pngFile:Generic wizard.pngFile:Generic wizard.pngRagin Mages | Spend ten minutes hunting down one Wizard, kill him thinking you've won! Stare in horror as three more Wizards appear. Watch in amusement as they proceed to kill each other.
 File:Blob core.gifBlob | Forget you're infected with the blob, burst in the HoP line while begging for all access. Somehow manage to not die within five minutes of bursting. Get killed by the augmented, riot suit wielding Head of Security.
 File:Shadowbeing.pngShadowling | Be the hip and more popular brother to the Changeling. Turn the station into thralls. Cry when a cyborg turns on its headlamp. Shadow Walk into space and die ten minutes into the round.
 File:Devil.gifDevil | Engage in civil discussions to buy souls. Create emergencies so that people are desperate enough to sell their soul. Try to out wit the lawyer. Get punched to death by someone you just turned into a hulk.
 File:Monkey.pngMonkey | Attempt to infect the crew with the monkey virus. Get absolutely crushed by Security within five minutes. Spend the next two hours as a ghost.

### Side Antagonists

 File:Alien.pngXenomorph | Ensure the crew gets a face full of alien *wing-wang*. Break procs. Squander your chance to be a big, purple killing machine and your race's survival in favor of acting out the librarian's favorite porno.
 File:Swarmer.pngSwarmers | Consume. Replicate. Repeat. Eat Telecomms. Teleport ~~other swarmers~~ your enemies away from your metal.
 File:Revenant.pngRevenant | Shock lights, transmit WGW right into the librarian until he goes mad. Trade for them until ~~admins~~ gods get fed up with you and turn ghosts into you. Be a griefghost.
 File:Morph.pngMorph | Eat pens for amusement, disguise yourself as beepsky. Disguise yourself as the Captain, confront the Captain while disguised as him, get shot.
 File:Generic ninja.pngSpace Ninja | Follow your orders, which may or may not involve you killing everything that moves. Kill everyone regardless.

## Special

 File:Centcomofficial.pngCentcom Official | Be self-important, meddle with station affairs, annoy the Captain with bureaucracy. Get killed almost immediately by a random mob. Have you body looted by everyone, including the captain.
 File:Ian.PNGIan | Ass-inspect, eat donuts, get killed, be dragged off to a washing machine and get gibbed. Cause a riot.
 Chrono LegionnaireChrono Legionnaire
 File:Emergencyresponseteamcommander.pngEmergency Response Officer | Arrive too late on the station to actually help. Lose the rest of your team, get outnumbered and die. Respawn as a second response team to save the first team.
 File:Deathsquadofficer.pngDeath Squad Officer | Beg for DS, spawn in at centcom, kill an admin who was trying to tell you your mission, get gibbed, beg for another chance. Set your rifle to DESTROY and terminate all lifeforms (including walls). Slip on a banana peel and a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶s̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶b̶l̶i̶v̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶r̶i̶f̶l̶e̶ laugh as your boots prevent you from slipping and the Clown can't fire your DNA-locked rifle. Shoot the Clown with your Mataba Revolver.

## Species

Read More: Guide to races

 File:Lizardman.pngLizardmen | Name yourself Does-The-Gimmick. Set all your accessory slots and become an unrecognisable blob of pixels. Be locked out of important positions. Threaten the HoP with a lawsuit if he doesn't promote you to a Head position. Make it hard to understand a word you say by hissing frequently. Get discriminated against for being a special snowflake.
 File:Flyperson.pngFlyperson | Annoy the chef for his cheese, vomit on his food and kill Pete because you need barf fuel muh self defense. Start getting voices in your head when you read the bee movie script over the radio. Get lynched for attacking the botanist using pest spray, and get gibbed by the chef for 'no reason'.
 File:Plasmaman.pngPlasmamen | Light the entirety of the station on fire. Be triggered by cold environments. Claim that you're a space beast that's come to kill everything, ever.
 File:Slimepeople.pngSlimeperson | Be the specialest snowflake in xenobiology. Hang out with your ~~only~~ slime friends. Swap between bodies. Inject people with your poisonous blood.
 File:Podman.pngPodmen | End up as mister potatohead after Genetics gets blown up and the Botanist is not stoned enough to forget he can clone too, but too stoned to do a good job. Forget that you photosynthesise and grow obese in the light. Start vegetating with relative ease. Remember that you're basically a walking matchstick well after you marched into a plasma fire.