Pbandjist Battles (Battle 1)

**Pbandjist Battles (Battle 1)** is the fifth episode of *Pbandjist* and the first of the Pbandjist Battles sub-series featuring a battle between ETMNT and Dumb Spider-Man. It is notable for being the episode to introduce the series's main character, OMG.

## Plot

Dumb Spider-Man welcomes the viewer to "the battle of the century" and attempts to introduce the viewer to himself and ETMNT. While is successful on the first half, introducing himself with a stunning backflip he predictably stumbles on the latter half referring to his opponent as "Eric Dumbsay". ETMNT is frustrated by this, stating Spider-Man's stupidity and proceeding to beat on him. Eric then attempts to introduce himself, ironically failing as he stutters whilst stating his full title. Dumb Spider-Man warns ETMNT not to get himself "up" and jumps away, only to swinging back into the scene. (While this last statement could be seen as some sort of sexual innuendo, it's far more likely Spider-Man was simply warning ETMNT not to work himself up).

Upon return, Spider-Man is met with a swift punch from ETMNT for being bigger then him. Spider-Man retaliates by delivering a decidedly undefective reverse headbutt to the turtle who simply laughs it off and prepares to unleash his "ultimate move", a slow motion kick to the face. It's very effective as Spider-Man collapses with a scream on the floor. ETMNT follows this up with his "ultimate ultimate move" - a fart to the face.

Things look dire for Spider-Man who sadly cries for Mary Jane to go on without him. In all the excitement a mysterious new character peers in from the left of the screen with a gleeful smile. Eric is frustrated by this, questioning the heads appearance. Dumb Spider-Man uses this distraction to his advantage and delivers multiple swift punches to the ninja.

As ETMNT gets back up from his latest fall he is met with a much creepier looking Spider-Man claiming that he has been turned into a marvel zombie and is going to kill him. Eric however doesn't let this attempt at a distraction fool him as he calls Spider-Man's bluff by attempting to rip his head off. When this predictably fails, he begins swinging Spider-Man from his head and continuously bashing him into the floor. We flash forward an hour later to reveal that the turtle is still continuously bashing the hero into the floor with even more alarming force. ETMNT finishes his assault with a tindaloo tossing Spider-Man's lifeless body across the arena. The same floating head from earlier returns from the left side of the screen and screams what soon would become his catchphrase "OH MY GOD!".

ETMNT shoos the head away while a revived Dumb Spider-Man uses this as yet another opportunity to get a few more cheap shots in. ETMNT attempts to flex on the hero by displaying a few of his ninja moves to the hero, surprisingly this fails and Spider-Man delivers a kick to the turtles face. ETMNT begins crying, stateing that he just wants to defeat Spider-Man so he can do his victory dance. Spider-Man responds by doing a little victory dance of his own. The turtle responds in anger and begins attempting to wrestle Spider-Man, however the hero surprisingly resists it.

Their struggle is interrupted when a random Pbandjist citizen somehow neglects to notice the fight scene and walks in front of the camera. ETMNT is annoyed by this encounter while Spider-Man merely appears confused. The same head from earlier reappears again touting his catchphrase, screaming it even louder then before however this time he is punched off screen by ETMNT. Once again Dumb Spider-Man uses this opportunity to his advantage and kicks his nemesis off-screen. The head returns, this time going right up to the camera and screaming "DIE". ETMNT returns, once again punching the head off screen and warning him to go away as this is just between he and Dumb Spider-Man. He then displays this by grabbing the hero by his legs and once again begins slamming him to the ground repeatedly.

ETMNT announces his boredom with the battle and decides a good way to end it would be to kick Spider-Man in the "sore spot". He then asks the camera operator to zoom up on the action, to which he obliges. ETMNT asks Spider-Man to come a bit closer and stupidly he does. Of course what happens is unfit for TV, but we see it anyway - Dumb Spider-Man is sacked in the nuts by ETMNT and drops to the floor with a grunt.

ETMNT attempts to claim victory, however somehow Dumb Spider-Man bounces back up as if nothing ever happened. Again, the same head from earlier reappears and screams "OH MY GOD" however, he is once again punched off-screen by the turtle who once again states his frustration, asking whatever powerful out there controlling Spider-Man would just "make him dead" as he claims he has won this battle fair and square. The turtle then grabs the hero, hauls him up into the air and delivers a series of rapid punch's to his chest. This appears to finally stun the hero, allowing for him to prepare a fatality. ETMNT notices Spider-Man beginning to regain his footing but in a moment of genius, asks the hero to cover the camera and say "one hour later" until he returns. Foolishly, Spider-Man does this. Eric returns, this time with a gun and apparently fatally shoots Spider-Man, defeating him with irony considering Spider-Man's criticism of Captain America's death. Of course, the spider isn't dead and begins to get up but is beaten back down with the gun.

Spider-Man once again gets back up, claiming the beating has finally reversed his brain damage and that he isn't dumb anymore. ETMNT responds by fooling him into thinking that he ripped out his brain, followed by his heart. The hero begins acting like his old self again and finally collapses, ending the battle. Victorious, ETMNT finally preforms his victory dance. Eric closely approaches the camera, restating his name as Eric and states it's meaning of "royalty". He tries to continue his victory speech but is once more interrupted by the floating head once again stating his catchphrase.

## YouTube Description

"about two charaters from pbandjist and make them fight but its hard to do when a head pops up all the time saying OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

## Notes

* This episode marks not only OMG's first appearance, but also the first use of his catchphrase "Oh my god!"*.*
* OMG and ETMNT's rivalry is clear in this episode, what with Eric's annoyance at OMG's constant interruptions as well as when OMG screams "die" in support of Dumb Spider-Man after the latter lands a hit on the turtle.
* "OH MY GOD" counter: 4.