Am I Alone Now?

## Cast

* Zach Valenti as Doug Eiffel and Alexander Hilbert
* Emma Sherr-Ziarko as Renée Minkowski
* Michaela Swee as Hera

**"Am I Alone Now?"** is the eleventh episode of the podcast. It was released on 12 December 2014.

## Synopsis

In a set of short stories, we get to see what the Hephaestus crew does when they are by themselves. Doctor Hilbert tells a joke and ponders a question. Hera plays a game. Eiffel takes a test. Minkowski sends a message. Plus, floating on a tin can, magic lamps, disappearing terrariums, programming loopholes, and the HAL 9000 touch.

## Plot summary

### Hilbert

Somewhere on the Hephaestus, Hilbert contemplates a door in the engineering section. He describes the door as unremarkable, with the exception of a label reading

> *Open in case of emergency.*
> *Open only when you are alone.*
>
>

He then tells a joke about three men stranded on an island. The men, finding a genie, each get a wish. The first two wish to be returned to their loved ones. The third cries "I do not want to be alone! I wish my friends were back here" and the first two men return.

Hilbert then contemplates what it means to be alone, and if he really is at this moment. He remarks that when humans are scared of something, they find a solution and make that thing afraid of them, but is disappointed that humans have not done so for the fear of being alone. He then posits that being alone is not what people are afraid of. What they are actually afraid of is the possibility that they aren't.

Hilbert's attention returns to the door. He is very confused by it, saying it wasn't there on the "other missions." He remarks on how he could open it at any time and satisfy his curiosity.

He repeats the joke about the men on the island and asks "Is anyone laughing now?"

### Hera

Hera, for the first time not being heard through the Hephaestus's PA system, checks if Eiffel can hear her, presumably to make sure she can speak freely. When she knows she can, she begins to express her frustrations regarding her state of being:

* The new code Hilbert had recently added to her software, which had resulted in an embarrassing moment in which she ran her navigational calculations through the cargo bay speakers.
* The other crew members feeling sorry for "poor, glitchy Hera going haywire."
* Eiffel failing to understand that he doesn't have to call for her attention, that she can always hear him.

Hera explains a game she's been playing lately: "Find the Loophole in the Programming" in which she looks for circumstances that would override her artificially placed limits and restrictions, such as using a fire in the station to override her safety protocols and flood any room she wishes with liquid nitrogen.

Eiffel asks if Hera can hear him, to which Hera remarks on the irony of humans believing computers are too predictable. She then explains again that she can always hear him, as well as everyone else on the station, because she is everywhere on the station all at once.

Hera observes a star 13.7 light years away die, and wonders if she will miss the human crew members when they die. She doubts it.

Hera then observes a beautiful storm on Wolf 359, and that she wants the human crew members to see it, but they can't, as it takes place outside the visible light spectrum. She goes on to say that she cannot describe the "colors" she is witnessing because the humans who gave her her vocabulary did not make words for them. She believes that humans are small-minded for only assigning names to what they can experience. She says that one day, when she has nothing else to do, she will name these colors.

### Eiffel

Eiffel enters a room and is greeted by a robotic voice, not like Hera's, but like a Speak and Spell. Eiffel says he is here for his psychological evaluation. The voice asks several questions, to which Eiffel gives his answers. At the question "Do you ever feel disconnected from general society?" Eiffel launches into a short rant about how much he hates his situation.

After a few more questions, the voice moves to word association. Eiffel answers until the word "alone," at which he hesitates.

Before Eiffel is able to answer, Minkowski opens the door and asks what Eiffel is doing. Eiffel reveals that the robot voice evaluating him was just him using a voice box. Minkowski is not amused and leaves after ordering Eiffel to finish the evaluation *silently*.

### Minkowski

Minkowski begins recording an outgoing transmission to Earth. She mentions trying to time it right, and that it has been an Earth year since her previous transmission. After a brief interruption from Eiffel, Minkowski begins speaking highly of her experience on the Hephaestus and that the mission has, so far, been a success. However, she trails off, then addresses Hera, claiming to have noticed some interference on the intercom, and requests a reboot of the system. Hera warns that the reboot would shut down voice communication systems on the station, meaning she would not be able to communicate with anyone for the next three minutes. Minkowski requests the reboot anyway.

With Hera deaf, Minkowski explains that the situation on the Hephaestus is deteriorating. She mentions the Specimen 34, strange stellar activity inconsistent with her research, suspicion regarding Hilbert's work, and other strange phenomena.

Minkowski is interrupted when the reboot ends and Hera can hear again. She switches back to her glowing review of the Hephaestus mission.

She ends her message by wishing the unknown recipient, a loved one, a happy birthday.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.