Umm... why is your hair white?

Campaign 2 Episode 14

*At the Drunken Phoenix on a random Tuesday.*

Fela: Howell... why is your hair white?

Rose: Oh my God Fela! You can't just ask someone why their hair is white?

Howell: No, it's fine Rosie. It's a perfectly reasonable question to ask. [turns to Fela] Well you see, it all started when a little girl and her grumpy friend came to visit the bar.

\*wiggly flashback lines\*

Her name was Wyx and she had a fix. For our problems, because we had no idea what to do about this whole Tarkus situation. I was definitely nervous. So Wyx knocks on the door of the bar which was clearly open and is like "you guys are cool, let me help you take down the governement". We shared a pint of something, (I never know what Rosie is giving me to drink), and discussed business. She offered her employee, Rosalyn, and had so much trust in us. It was adorable but very naïve. Wyx splits and Roz is like: "I'm too cool to be goofy" so I was like "okay...". Oli wanted to get some keys. He was very intense about it and I decided to help. We went to this authors house and he told us a story. I zoned out but I managed to stop Izwick from stealing from a stranger who had let us into their home. Ray was there and Roz as well. Oli's family is famous or something so we decided to go back to the Feywild (but I've never been there before). Somebody called out Sarissa's name and then she appeared, like the devil. She said we had to make a deal with her to get what we wanted, as the devil does. I said I would get her some glasses from Thaum, (is it pronounced Tom?) and we went through some portals. In Fey world land, we say some short dude and intimidated him into giving us the directions to the windmill we had already found on our own. We also got some info on some player archfey king man with 2 wives. Anyway, we knock on the windmill door and a lady opens up. She and Oli have met before or something. I said hi. Izwick was nervous around her. Roz scowled and Ray... well I didn't see Ray's reaction because he was wearing a mask but he must have been wary based on the vibes he was giving off. We go in and meet the other hags (I'm not being derogatory, they call themselves this). They want Oli's blood and we nope out of there. We talk it over and decide that we REALLY need these keys. We go back inside and Turgid offers us pie and everyone was like: "uhh..". Old gives his blood and rest of us just stand there and watch like legends. Well... Was Izwick there? I don't remember but Turgid gives me some blueberry pie and I eat it. The gang looks horrified but I'm just happy to finally get some food. They inform me I have white hair now after eating the pie. We get a key and leave the windmill place. Oh and Izwick falls out of a window, with more keys. Once again he has robbed hospitable strangers. We go to leave the realm and Sarissa appears and is like " Not you, you bum" to me. She says I'm some sort of "fey" now. And I can't leave the Feywild unless I make some sort of "deal" with a mortal. Silence. Just awkward silence follows. But then the champ, Ray steps up and is like "bro" and I'm like "bro". And we make a pact to die if the other dies. A bit hardcore but... this story may not be appropriate for a child....

Fela: [ is clearly scared of my story ]

Rosie: Howell I think that's enough (Rosie takes Fela away to some corner to comfort her)

Howell: (calling after Fela) I was just kidding! I just wanted to dye my hair... (Howell sees that the little girl is out of the room now) Damn...

Newt: I think you told a wonderful story sir...

Howell: AHH! Egads, man. How long have you been there?

Newt: What do you mean? You came to the bar and took a seat next to m–––

Howell: I don't want to here it. (Howell walks off mumbling "weirdo")

(Newt sits alone)

[END]