If You Can't Take The Heat...

**If You Can't Take The Heat...** is the tenth episode from *Total Drama Island*, the first season of *Total Drama*.

## Characters

* Chris McLean
* Geoff
* Harold
* DJ
* Duncan
* Bridgette
* Courtney
* Sadie (no lines)
* Owen
* Beth
* Leshawna
* Lindsay
* Trent (no lines)
* Gwen (no lines)
* Heather
* Dolphin
* Bees
* Chef Hatchet (mentioned)

## Recap

* **Chris:** Last time on Total Drama Island, our competitiors became hunters and the hunted. Owen's game was way off, and when he finally caught *wind* of his prey, he totally *blew* it. And Cody made a new friend, who quickly beat the crap out of him. Can you anyone say medivac? In a weird and strangely watchable twist, Leshawna, Lindsay, Beth, and Heather turned their paintball guns at each other. It was a full-on wrestle for dominace within the females of the Gopher squad. And the Gophers were sent to the bonfire. In the end however, it was Cody who got the shaft. The Gophers are still the underdogs. Can they bounce back or is their goose finally cooked? Find out tonight on Total, Drama, Island! *(theme song)*

## Opening: Harold Leaves His Underwear All Over the Cabin

* *(The episode begins in the forest. Camera pans to the waterfall and then it switches to the docks and it pans over to the boys cabin. They are asleep.)*
* **DJ:** *(within sleep)* Hello.
* *(Duncan wakes up and does some push ups. As he does so, he sniffs and finds a dirty underwear from Harold. He pulls back and gags. Geoff and DJ laugh.)*
* **Duncan:** Not cool, Harold, man, not cool!
* **Harold:** Those aren't mine.
* **Duncan:** *(gets up)* Oh right, you're always leaving your gitch lying around!
* **Harold:** No, I'm not. Gosh!
* **Geoff:** Uh, yeah you are, dude.
* **Harold:** You have like absolutely no proof.
* **Geoff:** No one else wears that kind, dude.
* **DJ:** And your mom sewed your name onto the label.
* **Harold:** Whatever, I'm going for a shower.
* **Duncan:** Hey, don't forget to clean the skid maker. I think Harold needs to be taught a lesson boys, who's with me. *(they team up and high five)*
* **Boys:** Yeah!

## Today's Challenge: Cooking in the Kitchen

* *(Cut to Chris explaining today's challenge.)*
* **Chris:** Today's challenge will test your minds, your teamwork, and your skills in the kitchen. You'll be cooking a three-star meal and serving it to me for tasting. The winners get a reward, the losers will send somebody home. Each team will appoint a head chef to create the theme of the meal and to oversee the cooking. To cook, you need ingredidents. *(a truck comes from the ocean)* Every morning, a truck brings us food. Today's task starts there. *(a dolphin is the driver of the truck, it salutes to the camera)*
* *(Cut to inside of the truck. DJ and Geoff find some stuff they can use to cook.)*
* **Geoff:** We could do a killer Italian theme.
* **Duncan:** Hello, head chef.
* **Geoff:** Seriously? Then let's get grabbing. *(the Gophers arrive to the truck)*
* **Heather:** Head chef, called it. *(she talks to Beth)* Try not to screw up this time, okay? *(Beth gasps. She nods. Leshawna apporaches her)*
* **Leshawna:** Just ignore her, girl.
* **Heather:** *(in the confessional)* I had to take the leadership role. Hello, we’re on a losing streak! And really, everyone else on the team is pretty useless.

## Gathering The Food and Assigning Food Roles

* *(Cut back to the Bass with the food.)*
* **Geoff:** Sweet, let's hit the road.
* **Heather:** Leshawna: mangoes, Beth: pineapples, Lindsay: macadamias, Trent: molasses, Gwen: tomatoes. *(cut to inside of the kitchen)*
* **Geoff:** Okay, we got like three courses and six people. *(throws the pasta. Harold catches it)* So everybody, partner up.
* **DJ:** I know how to make pasta sauce.
* **Bridgette:** I know how to boil pasta. *(she and DJ high five)*
* **Harold:** Me and Sadie can rock the antipasto. I'm like a black belt when it comes to cutting cheese
* **Killer Bass:** *(laughs)*
* **Duncan:** "Cheese."
* **Harold:** What? *(Sadie stifles a giggle)* What?
* **Duncan:** I guess that leaves you and me on the dessert detail.
* **Courtney:** Oh no, no way.
* **Geoff:** Come on, Courtney. For the team. *(he and Duncan both smile at her)*
* **Courtney:** *(in the confessional)* He's totally unmotivated! And he never washes his hands! He's so obnoxious! *(sped up)* He's completely delusional. *(normal speed)* Owning sunglasses doesn't automatically make you cool. *(sped up)* If you're gonna wear sunglasses, at least get some stylish ones. He's such a poser! *(normal speed)* People like that are so annoying! I mean, honestly, who does that?! And don't even get me started on his hair

## Harold Only Choice of His Underwear

* *(Back in the boys cabin, Harold's clothes are on the floor. Geoff picks up Harold's underwear and staches it in a bag. He snickers. Back to the kitchen. Geoff gives a signaling thumbs up to DJ.)*
* **DJ:** *(picks up a bucket of water from the sink)* Uh, where do you want the water, Bridge? *(purposely spills the water on Harold's private area)* Oops
* **Harold:** Ah! Hey! Smooth move, Dorkahontus!
* **Geoff:** Oh bummer, Ah-better go change, dude. *(he and DJ snicker and fist bump. Bridgette suspects this until her attention is on the Gophers)*
* **Heather:** Gwen, Lindsay, you're on the citrus macadamia upside down cake flambe.
* **Lindsay:** *(to Gwen)* Know how to make an upside down flamer thingy? *(Owen comes in with a big pack of oranges. He bumps Heather)*
* **Owen:** Whoa! *(drops the oranges and slips on them and crashes)* Aw!
* **Heather:** Go back to the truck and get more oranges!
* **Owen:** I'm on it.
* **Heather:** *(sighs)* Trent, you and Owen are on ribs. Leshawna and Beth, you're on pineapple, skewers and mango dip.
* **Leshawna:** Girl, let me handle the appetizers. I know how to make a pineapple chutney that would melt the socks off the devil!
* **Heather:** Oh, really? Oh, really? Well, that’s so great! But since I’m head chef, we’re gonna stick to my plan. And my plan is pineapples with sticks through them. Got it?
* *(Cut to Harold looking for extra clean underwear.)*
* **Harold:** Shirt. Shirt. Shirt. *(finds a thong underwear)* Looks like it's your time to shine.

## Geoff Once Again Messes Up Trying To Talk To Bridgette

* *(Cut to Owen running with more oranges. He trips over and runs into a beehive. He gets stung. Cut to the kitchen on the Bass' side. Geoff tries out the soup. Bridgette smiles at him. He whistles past Bridgette and DJ.)*
* **DJ:** I think he digs you.
* **Bridgette:** Maybe. He is kind of cute. *(DJ tells Geoff to go talk with Bridgette. He pushes him to Bridgette)*
* **Geoff:** You know, you look good when you're cooking dinner. Kind of like my friend Evan's really hot mom.
* **Bridgette:** *(irritated)* Excuse me?
* **DJ:** Geoff. Heh, uh, why don't you go get us some more tomatoes, dude.
* **Geoff:** Sure thing, bud. Later, Bridge. *(Bridgette shakes her head in disapproval)*

## Harold Wearing a Thong

* *(Cut to the Gophers' side. Gwen and Trent are making the ribs. They smile until Owen, who's covered in bee stings, shows up with more oranges.)*
* **Owen:** It's okay, everyone. I'm back. Haha. Trent, heads up! *(throws the crate of oranges to Trent, knocking him out)* Oops.
* **Heather:** *(in the confessional)* Things are going perfectly except for Owen’s hornet stings and Trent’s concussion, which means he’s out of today’s challenge. But still, this challenge is totally ours. *(facepalms)*
* *(Meanwhile, Duncan is rolling the pastry and Courtney is mixing the batter.)*
* **Courtney:** Careful your big paws don't match the pastry.
* **Duncan:** Careful your uptight butt doesn't curdle the custard.
* **Courtney:** *(sarcastically)* Oh, hahaha. *(Harold opens the door wearing his thong. Courtney is disgusted)* Ugh!
* **Harold:** Okay, who took all my shorts?
* **Killer Bass:** *(laughing at Harold's misfourtne)*
* *(Chris comes up and sees Harold's thong.)*
* **Chris:** *(shudders)* Eeeeee... Three hours and counting, guys.

## Heather and Leshawna Argue Again

* *(Cut to Beth and Leshawna making the pineapples and mangoes.)*
* **Heather:** These slices are totally uneven. Switch places with Leshawna.
* **Leshawna:** *(stops Beth)* What are you talking about? They look fine to me.
* **Heather:** Um, I didn't get to be head chef because of poor presentation.
* **Leshawna:** NO, you got to be head chef because you called it. And who you think you foolin' with this crispy white apron power trip you on? *(the Bass watch in shock)*
* **Heather:** Are you gonna be a team player or not?!
* **Leshawna:** Oh, I'm a team player, but I'm also allergic to pineapples!
* **Heather:** Just get slicing, now! *(they get back to slicing)* Thanks, guys.
* **Leshawna:** *(cutting the pineapples)* Two-face, bossy little- *(gets rashes on her hands)* Ooh! UGH! Yo, what do you recommend I do about this?
* **Heather:** Yo, I recommend you scratch after we win! Get back to work! *(she walks off, Leshawna is about to beat up Heather until Gwen, Lindsay and Beth stop her)*
* **Leshawna:** Ergh!

## The Boys Put Hot Sauce on Harold's Underwear

* *(Cut to Harold slicing the sasuages with his thong.)*
* **Geoff:** Dude, you gotta put some clothes on, man. It's unsanitary to cook in something that- *(snickers)* small. *(he and DJ snicker)*
* **Harold:** SO GIVE ME BACK MY PANTS THEN!! *(Duncan walks in)*
* **Duncan:** Harold's right, guys. If you go to the cabin, you'll find a clean pair of underwear and shorts waiting. *(Harold walks away. The boys then laugh. Cut to the boys cabin. Harold finds an underwear but isn't aware the boys put hot sauce on it. He takes his thongs out and puts on the underwear. His bottom starts burning)*
* **Harold:** MY BISCUITS ARE BURNING!! *(runs to the docks and lands dips in the lake)* Aah... Idiots!
* *(Later.)*

## Demonstrating How To Flambe

* **Heather:** What's wrong?
* **Lindsay:** Uh, we used all the flambe star, but it won't flambe.
* **Heather:** Nothing happened when you lit it?
* **Lindsay:** *(realizes she didn't lit the flambe)* Oooooh.
* **Heather:** *(in the confessional, about Lindsay)* It's like talking to an eggplant. *(cut back to the kitchen)* Pay attention, girls. This is how you flambe. Step 1: pour the flambe liquid, which you did manage. Step 2 of 2: light it. *(lights the flambe and her face becomes charred. Lindsay and Gwen quietly snicker. Heather's eyebrows come off. She checks a pot and sees her reflection with "bacon eyebrows")* AAAAH! My eyebrows! Owen!
* **Owen:** Is it finally lunchtime?
* **Heather:** No, go get my makeup bag from the cabin.
* **Owen:** But, the bees...
* **Heather:** NOW!! *(Owen walks to the cabin. She looks at the pot again. Leshawna taps her shoulder)*
* **Leshawna:** Excuse me, I need a bathroom break.
* **Heather:** Well, evidently, I need new eyebrows! But we don't always don't get what we want, do we?! Ugh, it's like I'm on a team of morons!
* **Leshawna:** *(in the confessional)* Oh, that is it! Someone’s gotta teach this girl a little respect.

## Harold Now Has To Wear His Pajamas

* *(Cut to Harold entering the kitchen, now wearing pajamas, his last clothing. Duncan and DJ clap)*
* **Duncan:** Nice jammies.
* **Harold:** This is all i've got left. So if you sickos wanna see me butt naked, hit me with your best shot.
* **Duncan:** We'll stop leaving your butt bags all over the cabin and we'll back off.
* **Harold:** I told you it wasn't me!
* **Duncan:** Well, I tried.
* **Geoff:** Hey guys I made some sandwiches! We can chow down while we work. *(Harold grabs a sandwich)*
* **Harold:** Oh, sweet! I'm seriously starving. *(eats the sandwich)* This tastes like sweat and lotion. It's probably the worst sandwich ever. *(it's revealed that the boys put Harold's underwear in the sandwich. He eats a piece of his underwear, disgusting him)* GROSS! *(Sadie and the boys laugh at him)*
* **Geoff:** We'll return all your shorts and panties when you admit your guilt. *(Harold frowns dismayed)*
* *(Cut to Owen outside the cabins on the search for Heather's makeup bag in the girls cabin. Another beehive is on top of the cabin. Owen knocks down glass bottles. Then his foot lands on a rake.)*
* **Owen:** *(screaming in pain. The bees start stinging him again)* OH, COME ON!!

## Heather Gets Locked in the Refrigerator

* *(Scene cuts to the Gophers side of the kitchen. Owen makes it back with more bee stings on his body.)*
* **Heather:** Don't just stand there, give it.
* **Owen:** *(muffled)* Purple gerbil fish bag... *(falls on the floor. The bag bounces off from Owen's hand. Leshawna pushes Heather so she can't grab it)*
* **Heather:** Hey!
* **Leshawna:** Beth! *(hands it over to Beth)*
* **Heather:** Gimme! *(Beth hands it over to Lindsay)*
* **Leshawna:** In the fridge. *(Leshawna opens the refrigerator door. Heather snaps Lindsay to give her bag. After a few seconds, Lindsay then throws the bag in the fridge)*
* **Lindsay:** Oops.
* **Heather:** Aaaaah! *(picks uo her bag. Leshawna shuts the door)* Hey! You can't do this! *(muffled)* I'm head chef!
* **Lindsay:** Do you think Heather's really mad at us?
* **Heather:** *(bangs the door)* I WILL DESTROY YOU!! *(sobs)*
* **Leshawna:** She'll get over it. Girl needs to learn how to chill.
* *(Cut to the Bass' side of the cabin. Duncan squeezes the custard on the tarts.)*
* **Courtney:** You're such a slob. They all have to have the same amount of custard.
* **Duncan:** Oh, relax, they're fine. You know you'd be a lot more fun without that pole up your butt.
* **Courtney:** I'm like the most easygoing person I know!
* **Duncan:** Oh, yeah, you're totally laid back. *(squeezes the custard on Courtney. Courtney wipes off the custard on her face. In response, she throws a full bowl at Duncan's head and giggles. She eats a piece of the custard from Duncan's head. Duncan is in the confessional)* Man, that girl creases me. I dig that in a chick.
* **Courtney:** *(in the confessional)* Duncan and me? Right. As if! I’m so sure! Not in a million years. Please. When pigs fly.
* **Leshawna:** *(outside the confessional)*Yo! You still busy protesting in there or can someone else have a turn?!
* **Courtney:** Like I was saying, not gonna happen.

## Judging The Meals

* *(Cut to campers preparing their meals for Chris.)*
* **Beth:** Your meal is coming right up, sir. *(Geoff lights a candle and blows the lighter)*
* **Geoff:** Back in a sec with your meal dude- I mean, sir.
* *(The Gophers' meals are ready to go. Owen and Leshawna sniff the ribs)*
* **Leshawna:** Hyeah. We might just win this thing yet, y’all. Owen, guard the food. All right, let’s do this!
* *(Cuts back to Heather in the refrigerator. She draws her eyebrows. Cuts back Owen guarding the ribs.)*
* **Owen:** Okay, looking good, you guys. Hahaha. Really good. Ooh, what's that, Mr. Ribs? You feel a bit lopsided? *(he looks around and takes one rib)* Oh, mama, that's good! Oh now this side looks a little fat. *(cuts to Chris testing Harold and Sadie's antipasto)*
* **Chris:** *(thumbs up)* Your antipasto past the testo, pass the pasta, please. *(Courtney brings in the pasta. Chris eats it. He gives a kiss)* On a scale of 1/10, 15. How will the Gophers respond.
* *(The Gophers introduce their ribs, but Owen hasn't come out because he ate all the ribs.)*
* **Owen:** Oh...
* **Leshawna:** TELL ME YOU DID NOT JUST EAT THAT ENTIRE PLATE OF RIBS!! *(kicks Owen out with empty ribs (with a tiny chunk) and brings them to Chris)*
* **Chris:** Yeah, this looks like it's been eaten.
* **Owen:** Not all of it. I think there's a tiny chunk left on that... bone over there. *(Chris picks the tiny piece)* Yeah, there. *(Chris takes a tiny bite)*
* **Chris:** You know what, I've had worse. Two points.
* **Owen:** Yeah!
* **Chris:** Oooh, close, Owen. But the Bass still lead 15 to 11. Time for dessert. *(starts eating the teams' desserts. First up is Courtney and Duncan's tarts. Duncan puts his hand on Courtney's shoulder, believing they got this)* Eeeh, Six. *(Courtney and Duncan are disappointed. Lindsay brings in the Gophers' dessert)* The Bass have 21, so, the Gophers need all 10 points to tie it up. I have to say, this dessert looks like a winner. *(the cake turns into ashes)*
* **Leshawna:** Ooh, that's not good. *(Chris takes a bite of the charred cake and then suddenly starts choking. Owen gives him a heimlich)*
* **Owen:** Hang on there! *(Chris chokes out the cake)* YES! GOT IT! *(chuckles)*
* **Beth:** Ewww...
* **Chris:** What the heck is this?!
* **Lindsay:** It's Heather's recipe. *(gasps and realizes she forgot about Heather)* Oh my gosh! She's still in the fridge! *(runs to get her out. Chris stares at the Gophers)*
* **Leshawna:** What? Girl was making everyone trip.
* **Chris:** Oh, I hear that. *(he and Owen are in shock of what they're seeing)*
* **Owen:** *(gasps)* OH THE HORROR!
* *(Heather's whole body is blue after being in the fridge for so long.)*
* **Heather:** You guys are s-s-so dead! Is it over?
* **Chris:** It is. The Bass win 21-12. And it's not just because I almost died, the ribs sucked, too.
* **Heather:** Great! That's just great! Why do we keep losing, people?! *(walks to the table and sees the statue Beth brought from Boney Island)* And what is this?! I didn't approve this!

## The Killer Bass Win Again!

* **Beth:** I-I brought it back at the souvenir, you know, from the other island.
* **Heather:** *(shocked)* You did what?
* **Chris:** You mean Boney Island? The deadliest island in Muskoka? The one I specfically said not to take anything from or you'll be cursed?
* **Beth:** Yeah... I didn't know, I'll put it back. *(runs off)*
* **Chris:** Okay, the Killer Bass now lead with seven members to the Gophers soon-to-be six. And as promised, the winners will be enjoying a reward tonight. A five-star dinner under the stars. *(the Bass cheer)*
* **Harold:** Nice! *(Duncan hugs Courtney)*
* **Courtney:** Way to go guys! *(laughing)* Okay, put me down! *(angrily)* Put me down! *(puts her down)*

## Who's Gonna Get Voted Off?

* *(Later, the Gophers are discussing on who to vote off.)*
* **Leshawna:** I don't know about y'all, but Heather has got to go.
* **Owen:** Yeah, but Beth cursed us with that wooden tiki doll thingy.
* **Leshawna:** Hmm, true. *(starts praying)* Dear curse, please hit Heather next. And if possible, hit her upside the head!
* *(In the girls cabin...)*
* **Heather:** You know, Lindsay, I could convince the team to vote you off tonight. You were a major traitor. *(shuts Lindsay's mouth as she was about to speak)* But you did let me out of the fridge. So I’ll give you one more chance if you vote with me tonight. *(Lindsay nods)* There, see? All better. Oh, and if you ever team up with Leshawna against me again, I’ll cut off all your hair while you’re sleeping. *(Lindsay nervously touches her hair. Heather is in the confessional)* Today’s vote was really hard, but only because there were so many annoying people to choose from.
* **Lindsay:** *(in the confessional)* I can't believe we locked her in the fridge! That was so cool! She's not going to see this, is she?
* **Heather:** Leshawna is a royal pain in the butt, and Owen completely screwed up everything for us.
* **Lindsay:** Her eyebrows look so bad. I'd kind of like to vote Heather off, but…
* **Heather:** I vote for Beth.
* **Owen:** *(burping)* Beth.

## Beth Gets Voted Off

* *(Later at night in the campfire ceremony. Heather glares at Beth before her elimination. She glares at Leshawna next)*
* **Chris:** *(with six marshmallows)* I've got seven Gophers sitting in front of me, tonight. But only six fluffy bits of sweet safety in my hands. So, good luck. *(puts down the marshmallows)* When I call your name, come up and get your marshmallow. Leshawna. Owen. Gwen. Trent. Lindsay. *(Heather glares at Lindsay)* Heather, Beth. Down to you. Whoever doesn't get this last marshmallow must immediately walk the Dock of Shame and leave on the Boat of Losers, forever. *(Beth crosses her fingers again. Heather glares at Beth)* The final marshmallow goes to...
* *(Huge dramatic pause.)*
* **Chris:** Heather.
* **Heather:** You heard him, Boat of Losers, that-a-way. *(Beth walks off)* That really was stupid of you to take that doll from the island.
* **Leshawna:** See ya, girl.
* **Chris:** That's it for tonight, and you might want to burn some sage to get rid of any lingering curse vibes.
* **Leshawna:** Cool, will Chef give us some sage?
* **Chris:** Nope. So, good luck with that. *(leaves)*
* *(A wolf howls.)*

## Ending: Harold Finally Learns His Lesson

* *(Later at the boys cabin, Harold is seen sleeping. The boys lift his bed out of the cabin. It's daytime and the girls are seen laughing at him. He's seen sleeping on the lake)*
* **Courtney and Leshawna:** Good morning, Harold! *(Harold is naked)*
* **Harold:** EEK! *(covers himself with a pillow. The boys are kayaking)*
* **Duncan:** So, learned your lesson yet?
* **Harold:** Yes! Okay! Yes!
* **Geoff:** Oh, we're gonna need more than that, man,
* **Harold:** I'll never leave my crusty underwear out again! I swear!
* **Geoff:** What the heck? I believe him. *(throws Harold's bag)* It's pleasure doing business with ya! *(the boys laugh. Harold runs off to go put on his clothes. The boys continue laughing. The episode ends)*

## References

1. ↑ In the censored version, Chris said "snot".
2. ↑ In the censored version, Duncan said "drawers" instead of "gitch."
3. ↑ In the censored version, Heather said "mess up" instead.
4. ↑ In the censored version, "losers" was used instead.
5. ↑ In the censored version, Chris said "sank."
6. ↑ In the censored version, "silly" was used instead.
7. ↑ In the censored version, Geoff said "What the hey?"