The Queen of Hearts

**The Queen of Hearts**, alongside the King of Hearts, battled The Wicked Witch of the West in *Queen of Hearts vs Wicked Witch*.

## Information on the Rapper

The Queen of Hearts is a fictional character from the book *Alice's Adventures in Wonderland* by the writer Lewis Carroll. She is a foul-tempered monarch whom Carroll himself describes as "a blind fury", and who is quick to give death sentences at the slightest offense. One of her most famous lines is the oft-repeated "Off with his/her head!" / "Off with their heads!"

The Queen is referred to as a card from a pack of playing cards by Alice, yet somehow she is able to talk and is the ruler of the lands in the story, alongside her husband, the King of Hearts. She is often confused with the Red Queen from the sequel, Through the Looking-Glass, although the two are very different.

Alice observes three playing cards painting white roses red. They drop to the ground face down at the approach of the Queen of Hearts, whom Alice has never met. When the Queen arrives and asks Alice who is lying on the ground (since the backs of all playing cards look alike), Alice tells her that she does not know. The Queen then becomes frustrated and commands that her head be severed. She is deterred by her comparatively moderate husband by being reminded that Alice is only a child.

Generally, however, as we are told by Carroll: "The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. 'Off with his head!' she said, without even looking around."

One of the Queen's hobbies – besides ordering executions – is croquet; however, it is Wonderland croquet, where the balls are live hedgehogs and the mallets are flamingoes. This is presumably with the aim that the birds' blunt beaks should strike, but, as Alice observes, it is complicated by the fact that they keep looking back up at the players- as well as the hedgehogs' tendency to scuttle away without waiting to be hit. The Queen's soldiers act as the arches (or hoops) on the croquet grounds, but have to leave off being arches every time the Queen has an executioner drag away the victim, so that, by the end of the game in the story, the only players that remain are the Queen herself, the King, and Alice.

Despite the frequency of death sentences, it would appear few people are actually beheaded. The King of Hearts quietly pardons many of his subjects when the Queen is not looking (although this did not seem to be the case with The Duchess), and her soldiers humor her but do not carry out her orders. The Gryphon tells Alice, "It's all her fancy: she executes nobody, you know." Nevertheless, all creatures in Wonderland fear the Queen. In the final chapters, the Queen sentences Alice again (for defending the Knave of Hearts), and she offers a bizarre approach towards justice: sentence before the verdict.

Modern portrayals in popular culture usually let her play the role of a villain because of the menace the character exemplifies, but in the book she does not fill that purpose. She is just one of the many obstacles that Alice has to encounter on the journey, but unlike other obstacles, she makes a higher potential threat.

## Lyrics

*(The Queen of Hearts' lyrics are in red, while lyrics said by or shared with others are in normal text.)*

### Verse 1

Begone Adele Dazeem, I'm a head-taking machine,

Chop so many necks, call me the Guillotine Queen!

I'll make you walk the green mile and roast ya, Salem-style!

Here’s the lesson: court’s in session and I do love a trial!

Get this straight, the heart wants what it wants,

I’m not a dunce, and unlike you, I do my own stunts!

You might be okay at croquet, but you’ll fall just the same,

‘Cause I’m a master with a mallet, and I’ve never lost a game!

You’re too concerned with shoes to stop a homesick chick?

This toothpick on a broomstick can’t handle the thicc!

All ways are my ways, so I make the laws,

With a verdict and my boot, I’ll kick your narrow ass to Oz!

### Verse 2

Yeah I got a little mister. But what happened to her sister?

Right, she became a basement in the midst of a twister!

I’m a slayer and a player, momma heart gets paid,

Wearing diamonds in the club while your monkeys get spayed!

This punk-ass needs a punchin’, you’re more sloppy than a luncheon,

With a bunch of fucking Munchkins who are too damn drunk to function!

We’re the original dreamland, you imposters can suck it,

Cause Wonderland ain’t nothin’ to fuck with!

Wonderland ain’t nothin’ to fuck with!

This battle was a slaughter, Elphie’s melting cause I’m hotter,

This hag is #Thirsty. Here, have a cup of water!

In a second they’ll be singing, “Ding dong, the witch is dead!”

By order of the Queen: OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!

## Trivia

* The Queen of Hearts is the seventh queen to be used.