Show 104: Tiff Bargainer

**(004) The Super Show: Season 1 Episode 04: Tiff Bargainer**

**Generic Intro: Sex & Violence**

Hi, I'm Brian Henson. Before there was The Super Show, there was Sex & Violence, which was the title of the original pilot of the series. But the big difference between the pilot and The Super Show was the host. My father tried to create a new character named Nigel. Eventually somebody said to my father, "Look, why don't you use Kermit? He was so great, why don't you put Kermit in as the host?" And that's really when the show really started to work. Of course the show had nothing to do with sex and violence, but my dad thought it was certainly a real catchy title. Here's our greatest Super Show episode what eventually became & I hope you'll see it.

**Season 1 Opening Theme**

Fozzie's Joke: I finally found a sure way to lose weight. I found a scale that lies

**Gonzo's Gong**

Gonzo hits the gong 4 times

**Stage Curtain**

Kermit feels good tonight because, the guest star is Tiff Bargainer, she's a famous girl from Nickelodeon Guts, as Kermit gets started off with Ryan Lambert & The Kane Triplets singing "I Just Adore Four"

**I Just Adore Four**

Ryan Lambert sings his musical number about the number 4, with backup by The Kane Triplets

**Balcony**

Waldorf: Wasn't that a great musical 2 + 2 song

Statler: (Chuckles) Just like Big Bird sang it with The Tarnish Brothers

**Backstage**

Scooter bumps into Kermit with a crate

Kermit: What makes you think you can bring the crate into backstage?

Scooter: My uncle owns the theater

Kermit: And a nice crate it is too.

The crate contains a mechanical, wind-up Lavendar Rabbit with a huge wind-up crank on its backside.

Robot Lavendar Rabbit: Hi Kermit

Kermit: Look, it's the Robot Lavendar Rabbit

**Stage Curtain**

Sam Eagle presents the singing duet of Wayne & Wanda

**Wayne & Wanda**

Wayne sings "Row, Row, Row, Your Boat" when Wanda walks to the side of the rowboat & tips over it sinks.

**Daffy Duck's Report**

Daffy Duck reads the report that the Atlantic Ocean has been kidnapped

**Backstage**

Stacy Ferguson takes the picture of the Robot Lavendar Rabbit & he came out nice. The Robot Lavendar Rabbit copies Stacy Ferguson & Kermit by hopping around.

Robot Lavendar Rabbit: I'd love this part hopping.

When they finished hopping. Kermit goes on stage to introduce the next act.

**Stage Curtain**

Kermit presents the famous beatiful girl, Tiff Bargainer

**Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You**

The set is a replica, of his dungeon, Tiff Bargainer, as a servant, attempts to serenade orge Sweetums as he tries to eat.

(**U.S. Spot**) **I Never Harmed An Onion**

Rowlf & Amy take turns playing the piano. They sing the classic pun laden song & find out why onions make us cry.

**Balcony**

Waldorf: Uh, Oh, my tears are rolling, Statler

Statler: O.K.

(Statler uses the tissue to blow Waldorf's nose)

Waldorf: That's better (Chuckles)

**Tiff Bargainer Reporter**

Announcer: We interrupt this program for a special report from our news reporter live on the scene Tiff Bargainer.

Tiff Bargainer interviews The Robot Lavendar Rabbit. He was wonded up at the robot factory. Then suddenly, Fay Fitzgerald & Faith Fitzgerald wonded him up. Then he hops normally.

Lavendar Robot Rabbit: Hey, Look at me. I eat magnetic carrots

Tiff Bargainer: Wow! That's cool folks, The Robot Rabbit eats magnetic carrots.

Fay & Faith Fitgerald pretend to be Robot Rabbits & Tiff Bargainer would like to pretend she's a Robot Rabbit to. The scene ends in chaos by hopping around like Robot Rabbits.

**Balcony**

Waldorf: What made you think of Robots?

Statler: They make me feel like moving along

**Backstage**

Tiff Bargainer, Fay Fitzgerald & Faith Fitzgerald were pretending to be Robot Rabbits. Michael & Amy takes pictures of them. Winnie The Pooh takes the picture of Fay & Faith pretending to be robot rabbits & they came out so beautiful.

Winnie The Pooh: Oh Yes, The picture of the Fitzgerald Twins were pretending to be robots.

Kermit liked those Robot Rabbit's they're pretending. Kermit goes onstage to introduce the comedy act.

**Stage Curtain**

Kermit introduces the famous comedy act....or whatever.....Daffy Duck has something interresting in mind as Kermit brings on Daffy Duck & Fozzie Bear

**Daffy Duck & Fozzie Bear's Comedy Act**

Daffy Dyck & Fozzie Bear tells the audience about the robot jokes. Robots can move along like this & move arms up & down.

Fozzie Bear: Funny thing happen on the way to robot world........

Daffy Duck sees Stacy Ferguson, Jessica Kerrimian & Ryan Lambert pretending to be robots. Stacy Ferguson says that a robot moved along like Kermit Robot did on The Muppet Show. At the end, they pretend robots go "Beep, Beep, Beep"..

**Daffy Duck's Report**

Daffy Duck reads the report on the recalling of the robots. Suddenly, Stacy Ferguson, Jessica Kerrimian & Ryan Lambert are pretending to be robots in the news-room. Daffy Duck pretends that he's a robot too.

Daffy Duck: I love being like a robot.

**Dressing Room**

Stacy Ferguson walks up to the dressing room to see the Robot Lavendar Rabbit.

Robot Lavendar Rabbit: Hi Stacy, come see this

Stacy Ferguson turns the crank on The Robot Lavendar Rabbit. He hops around & finds the magnetic carrots. Kermit enters the dressing room to find out what's going on.

Kermit: What a neat Robot Rabbit you got there

Stacy Ferguson: Thanks Kermit, Now I've got my own Robot Rabbit too..

Stacy Ferguson shows Kermit the new Robot Rabbit she got. Stacy Ferguson's got a Robot Dog. The Robot dog digs up the magnetic bones.

Kermit: That's a wierdest robot I've ever seen. I think I'd better go down the stairs & introduce Tiff Bargainer.

Stacy Ferguson: What a good robot dog you are..

**Stage Curtain**

Kermit introduces Tiff Bargainer singing one of Roger Miller's greatest songs with the Gogolala Jubille Jugband just like the one from The Muppet Show with Ruth Buzzi

**You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Heard**

Tiff Bargainer & The Gogolala Jubilee Jugband performs the song from Roger Miller & they agree on "That you can be happy, You put your mind to it"

**Stage Curtain**

Tiff Bargainer enjoyed the show & she had a great time. The Robot Lavendar Rabbit hops on stage. Tiff Bargainer, Kermit, Fay Fitgerald, Faith Fitzgerald, Scooter & Stacy Ferguson pretend to be robots as Kermit closes the show.

**Closing Theme**

Waldorf: (Chuckles) I'd love Robots

Statler: Thanks, This show made me feel Robot moving.