2013 Power Rankings-Week 4

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*Posted 9/27/13 at 10:19pm*

Short and sweet rankings this week everybody. Got a new job that is anti-me doing power rankings at work. I know, how stupid is that? Needless to say, not much has changed since last week. This week, however, some real statements are going to be made.

1(1). Hernandez' Bracelets - There is nothing cheap about the way this team is winning. Even though they have faced the weakest schedule through three weeks, they have posted the third most points in the league through that same period. True test this week against one of the two teams that is outscoring them on the season.

2(3). The Shotti Bunch - After a predictable loss in week 2 they bounced back with an awesome win against the strong Orange Julians. The production from his RB's has been huge this season.

3(2). Cooper Clux Clan - All in all this was an ugly week for most of us, and CCC had the ugliest win of all. Shut out by Carolina kept his Kicker off the board, while Washington's ugly start to the year kept his Tight End scoreless. But, a win is a win is a win.

4(4). The Enforcers - In the battle of struggling QB's, RG0and3 got the edge. How did The Enforcers win with Steven Jackson not playing? Big game for Charles. Plus anybody who showed up could have beaten Girl on Fire this week.

5(3). Orange Julians - I don't know what to say about this team. They really should be number one in these power rankings. But I already wrote the first four rankings and I'm really tired from a long day at work. At the end of the day, chalk this record up to some bad matchups. This team could go on a winning streak to end all win streaks.

6(8). ma ma momma said - Ted Ginn Jr. is...good? This team is so confusing to me I don't even want to start to explain how they are 2-1 and yet if they were 0-3 I wouldn't be able to explain that either. They are an anomaly. I don't know anymore. Jared, you're an enigma.

7(6). Girl on Fire - Has the fire sizzled out? GF has pulled the plug on Colin and is going with Alex Smith this week, which is a gamble worth taking against a power house like Orange Julians. Dez and Reggie are going to have to do their thangs though.

8(7). Ooohmypussyitswet - Things have really dried up down south for OMPIW. Lucky for them The Enforcers are really banged up and it is still so early that no one is out of playoff contention just yet (but could be soon--more on that in two sentences).

9/10(9/10). Wilfork You Up/Gronk's Flakes - At this point it's not worth distinguishing between these two bottom dwellers. After their matchup this week, one of these two teams will be 0-4 and will have to go on a miraculous run to make the postseason. But wait just a minute, because I recall a certain championship team doing just that back in 2011. No not the Giants. Did they really win the Super Bowl or was that just my PTD kicking in from '07? No, Wilfork You Up, the artist formally known as NK Anacondas, defied all odds in 2011. This year he faces off against the devil he himself spawned in the matchup for the ages. Never has their been so much press about a battle of undefeated's. But don't count Gronk's Flakes out just yet. They put in solid games 2 out of 3 weeks and have some injured players on the mend.

Matchup of the Week: Me and my dad you bastards, who the hell else? Winner has bragging rights basically forever, loser is 0-4 and should probably be made fun of for the rest of the season. Unless it's my dad. NO ONE better make fun of my dad or you'll have to answer to ME, that 1-3 team you're all secretly afraid of.