Episode 64: Kristy and the Worst Kid Ever

The episode for "Kristy and the Worst Kid Ever" was originally released on May 22, 2017 and is #62. **You can listen to it here.** This episode is 59:27 long.This week's ghostwriter: Nola Thacker.

*Previous:* Episode 63: Jessi and the Awful Secret | *Next:* Episode 65: Claudia's Friend | *Or,* see all episodes.

## Official Episode Description

In dibbly day, in distant night, no babies shall escape their sight. Let those who listen twice a fortnight, beware our digressions, because we talk about Green Lantern A LOT in this episode.

## Music Credits

* ”She Comes Through The Fog” by Haunted Me
* “Seeing Red” by Regular Gonzales
* “Canoe” by Podington Bear
* “Mad World” MIDI
* “Soulmates” by Lee Rosevere
* “MATAFAKA” - Unknown Brain (feat. Marvin Divine)
* Original Intro by Scott Lamb
* Superbrat Outro by Superbrat

## Book Description

Jack: A devastating novel about shattered lives, with a kicky ending.

Tanner spends most of his description discussing the monopoly "housing shortage" strategy.

## Segments

###  Burn Of The Week

Jack: Cokie began to turn red and purple and green with envy.

Tanner: Mary Anne says "mean lessons" - the first Mary Anne burn, which is weak.

###  Jack Googles

"Can you sing the Jack Googles song, because I really like that one."

###  Refrigerator Play

"Rickety loveseat" that they were planning on "using" in the new house.

###  Soileau You Into the Dark

Tanner opines that Hodges captured the moment well, but that he failed on Lou's looks. He notes that she states decisively her dislike for pink, yet the cover features pink shoes and pink overalls. This is actually a Scholastic lawyers moment - the original cover and the reprint cover are very different.

###  Tanner Googles

Tanner Googles the color of "sweet alyssum".

###  Tearful Moment

Tanner: when Lou gets a dog

Jack: when Lou shares about the death of her dog and father. "She's not the worst kid - she's the saddest."

###  Thack Attack

The reissued cover of the book...

Nola is heavily praised this week for giving Peter Lerangis a run for his money. Jack finds anagrams for Nola Thacker: thank oracle (Tanner: "The Matrix"), roach anklet, nacho talker. Tanner finds another book written by Nola: The Complete Petrosexual, a handbook of style for the modern dog. "I think Nola might be a dog."

## Theories

###  Sentient Orb Theory

One of these pieces is clearly a sentient purple orb.

"I feel like purple orb is your bread theory. You see it everywhere, can't quite make sense of it yet, but you're pretty sure there's something there."

Watson finds an orb for Karen's playhouse, "it will match perfectly."

The ancient Monopoly set with colored wood pieces.

###  Witchcraft

There is a lot of color and flower magic; first Morbidda Destiny episode in a while.

Flowers: pansies (think) and sweet alyssum (curing madness). These are purple, almost black, and white - life and death in the Lantern-verse. Callback to Episode 6: Kristy's Big Day.

## Jack's References

* " I have a whole section on the Wizard of Oz."
* "Well, you know what T. S. Eliot says: we are all dying, with a little patience.
* Gawain and the Green Knight

## Tanner's References

* Bioshock
* "Distraction finds a way" (a la Jurassic Park)
* The Tim McGraw song "Live Like You're Dying"
* Did you know that the last true print of the unaltered original Star Wars trilogy was on laserdisc?

"Red Lanterns are rage."
"Rage is right. Orange? Roy G Biv."
"Orange Lanterns live a life of the mind. Yellow Lanterns are invisible. Green Lanterns are the good ones."
"Yep."
"Blue Lanterns —"
"—my favorite."
"— are mercurial and difficult to pin down and chaotic."
"Right. I mean, that's not right, but."
"Indigo Lanterns, no one knows, they're just mysterious. Violet Lanterns are just very friendly. Did I get it?"
"Wrong, wrong almost all across the board. Red: rage. Orange: avarice. Yellow: fear. Green: will. Blue: hope. Indigo: compassion. Violet: love."

## Notes

* It is the last "Jack lives in NYC" episode. He talks about how his apartment is empty and how they will spend all day with their D&D group to celebrate Jack.
* Jack and Tanner promote other Headgum podcasts: Gilmore Guys, Overdue, Who Weekly?
* Jack and Tanner come up with new podcasts and pretend cohosts (since Jack is moving)
* Did Lou used to be a dog (Louie)?
* New word/phrase: super gigandoly.
* Tanner pulls a passage about earrings: seven diamonds, one ear; odd number, much power.
* Tanner worries about what happens when they run out of books, and compares their trajectories to Gilmore Girls.
* In the stinger, Tanner Sings the enchirito commercial again (see Episode 51: Claudia and the Genius of Elm Street).

## Sign Off

Jack offers to let Tanner do the signoff, because it's their last episode in the same room (for a while).

## References & Links

1. ↑ How To Ruin Monopoly And Make People Hate You: https://www.kotaku.com.au/2017/01/how-to-ruin-monopoly-and-make-people-hate-you/
2. ↑ https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Petrosexual-Handbook-Style-Modern/dp/B000IOF1X4
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 http://allaboutfunandgames.com/the-history-of-monopoly-game-tokens
4. ↑ "We who were living are now dying /With a little patience" — T. S. Eliot, The Waste Land: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47311/the-waste-land."
5. ↑ "Life finds a way" from Jurassic Park: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMjQ3hA9mEA
6. ↑ The unaltered Star Wars trilogy is nigh impossible to find: https://www.inverse.com/article/3942-why-finding-the-original-1977-star-wars-verges-on-the-impossible
7. ↑ https://greenlantern.fandom.com/wiki/Emotional\_Spectrum

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