recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Gangrene

*Not to be confused with the cryptid of the same name.*

A rare image of the gangrene dispenser.

## About

Gangrene is the decay of organic tissue caused by lack of blood flow or serious bacterial infections. It is a weapon of war most often used by Edmund Dobbie, while occasionally used by Pasquel FeelinSour, Gerald Magoonez, Freddy Gosmier & Le Cluk, who seemingly have the ability to inflict it temporarily upon others. Any damage caused by gangrene in the Epicness universe usually heals quickly.

## Uses

Usually, gangrene is inflicted upon another member of the Epicness universe by a member who disagrees with a statement the victim has just supported. However, it can also be one of the many forms of punishment inflicted upon one's testicles when one considers themselves a "gangsta." Ramiel is a common recipient of gangrene damage upon his testicles.

## In relation to Edmund Dobbie

It is theorized that Edmund Dobbie is the true identity of one of the three cryptids that plague IvanSonicGamer's village. This is theorized due to the fact that in IvanSonicGamer's cereal video, a tall cryptid known as Gangrene is seen throwing limes at Ivan. This cryptid bears a strong resemblance to Edmund Dobbie. Additionally, Edmund Dobbie is known to have gangrene on his arms on occasion, and possesses the immense power showed by Gangrene in the video.
Widowmaker Fingers

As Widowmaker Fingers are incredibly rare and valuable, no photos exist of the actual product. Many companies have copied the formula and made imitation fingers, but Overwatch fans often say that they are worse than the original.

### Effects

Drooling, temporary and permanent loss of important brain functions, sudden obsession with Blizzard's Overwatch

### Source

Walmart

Widowmaker Fingers are an American delicacy. They are a fruit flavored lollipop candy in the shape of a finger on a stick.

## History

The candies were made as an advertising ploy for Blizzard's upcoming game Overwatch, but were quickly discontinued following the release of the game due to the discovery of gangrene particulate inside a batch of the candy. Despite their best efforts, Blizzard was unable to convince Walmart to pull the item off the shelves, as many consumers were desperate to "get a suck of Widowmaker's fingies." The candies can still be found in Walmart but they are a rare sight due to members of Overwatch's dedicated fanbase going on raiding parties to find the remaining products.

## Effects

Widowmaker Fingers can often cause consumers to babble like infant children. The aroma, which is often described as a delicious and pungent smell, can also cause this babbling alongside increased production of saliva and a sudden feeling of dehydration. Extended exposure to this aroma can cause permanent brain damage and a sudden obsession with Overwatch, more specifically its character Widowmaker.
Jaundice

A woman with jaundice.

Jaundice, also known as icterus, is a condition caused by high levels of bilirubin in the body. It often results in yellow pigmentation of the skin or eyes. It can be caused by liver or gallbladder disorders, but can also be inflicted by members of the Epicness universe.

## Within the Epicness Universe

Jaundice, like gangrene, can be inflicted on others by members of the Epicness universe. It is also a condition that may be inflicted upon one's testicles while one is a gangsta. However, some members of the Epicness wiki have permanent jaundice on certain parts of their body. Le Cluk is known for having mild jaundice, and while Edmund Dobbie only occasionally has jaundice, he is notably prejudiced to those who do not have jaundice. Pasquel FeelinSour has also been noted to have jaundice on his feet.

## In relation to Le Cluk

It is theorized that Le Cluk is one of the three cryptids that plague Ivan's village in Siberia, being the most powerful of the three, Jaundice. This is theorized due to Le Cluk's notably jaundiced skin, connection with Siberia, and his immense power. It has been theorized that Le Cluk was the one to destroy Ivan's village, due to accounts of a large clawed monster in the village. Additionally, Le Cluk wears a pendant with a yellow crystal, which is theorized to give him the power of inflicting jaundice upon others.
Slop and Slime

Slop and Slime as they appear in the original animation.

### Effects

Disappointment, loss of fine motor coordination, risk of Siberian Mosquito attack

### Source

PilotRedSun

Slop and Slime are two foods reviewed by IvanSonicGamer that originate from a PilotRedSun animation in which a child asks a chef for dinner, only to be met with two unsatisfying fictional foods.

## Origin

Slop and Slime originate from a PilotRedSun short in which a young boy runs up to a chef and asks him what is for dinner. The chef responds by presenting "slop" and "slime," two presumably gelatinous foods in rectangular metal pans, that are clearly not adequate dinner sustenance. The video responds to this in a self-aware manner by proposing the question "What Ever A Meal One Can Make With A Slop Or A Slime ? ? ?" to the tune of music composed by PilotRedSun himself. Due to the iconic nature of each line uttered in the video, IvanSonicGamer decided to recreate the two foods for a food review.

## Ingredients

The two foods, while of similar consistencies, are composed from different ingredients. Slop, the yellow food, is made of artificial citrus punch congealed into a jelly-like consistency. On top of it are green beans and dollops of sour cream. The food itself is very sweet, almost sickeningly so, and has a consistency similar to runny egg white with a thicker skin on top. Slime, however, is made of a blended mixture of coffee cake, Spicy Funyuns and sweetened iced tea, topped in crumbled Funyuns and cooked spaghetti. Slime has more of a mushy oatmeal consistency and is also sweet, but has a hint of savory flavor.

## Effects

Slop and Slime do not seem to have profound effects on the consumer besides disappointment that they will not be eating a proper dinner, although it does seem to impair one's fine motor skills, as evidenced by the fact that IvanSonicGamer cannot properly bring the food to his mouth and instead dribbles it down his chin. However, if one's hands become coated with either Slop or Slime, they have a likelihood of attracting Siberian Mosquitos.
Bathwater

IvanSonicGamer partaking in his own special blend.

Bathwater is a delicacy consumed by IvanSonicGamer in his aptly-named Bathwater Review.

## History

Humans have been bathing for hygienic and recreational purposes for most of recorded history. However, a recent innovation was made in this once thought to be perfected technology by the young entrepreneur Belle Delphine. Belle Delphine, a 19 year old Instagram model, had established a loyal fanbase of 15 year olds by posting suggestive photos and cosplays of various anime characters. Constantly looking for new ways to capitalize off of her newfound and rapidly growing fame, Delphine had the brilliant idea of bottling her own bathwater and selling it online for consumers to do with as they saw fit.

As expected, the vials of highly coveted serum disappeared in a few short days. A select few were in possession of the liquid, leaving the rest of the masses in a shortage. The high desire to recreate the concoction led the world's greatest innovators and brightest minds to rise to the top, one of which being IvanSonicGamer.

## Effects

The effects of consuming bathwater very greatly based on who it originates from, but in the instance of IvanSonicGamer, it seems to produce no alterations to his mental or physical state other than a voice shift from an air bubble trapped in his throat and a feeling of disgust in response to the water's flavor. (However, it is noteworthy that Ivan continues to consume the water with zeal despite his vocal disapproval, and also uses it as a dipping sauce for a pickle spear, which could imply addictive properties.)
Lunchroom Delight

A poster advertising Lunchroom Delight, calling it "Domino's Smart Slice".

**Lunchroom Delight** is a common school nickname for a food product often sold in American lunchrooms since 2011. Officially, the meal is sold under a variety of names, including but not limited to "Domino's Smart Slice", "Pizza Lunch", "Pizza and Breadsticks", or other similar variations.

At first glance, it appears to be a plate of Domino's brand pepperoni pizza, Bosco Sticks, and marinara sauce; however, upon closer inspection, it appears to be made out of a variety of non-edible and toxic substances not known to exist outside of safely guarded laboratories. Experts warn against consumption of Lunchroom Delight due to this fact, but because of its cheap cost and tolerable flavor, students across America continue to purchase and eat it without any immediate negative effects.

Several theories have been posed as to why high school students across America are able to safely eat Lunchroom Delight, a concoction which, according to common sense, would immediately kill anyone who ingests it. An older theory claims that the large amount of dangerous substances actually cancel each other out, making the food safe to consume. However, the fact that most adults are unable to safely eat Lunchroom Delight contradicts this. Because of this fact, another theory claims that young children are actually able to develop a tolerance to Lunchroom Delight. This is the most likely theory.

Despite the lack of immediate effects to eating Lunchroom Delight, students with tolerances to the classic school meal do exhibit some notable similarities over years. For example, the more exposure they have to it, the more they will be drawn to its smell, making the effects even more profound. Additionally, although slowly, eating Lunchroom Delight does slightly erode critical thinking skills. Lunchroom Delight is also hypothesized to cause some physical changes. In areas where Lunchroom Delight is sold, newer generations are statistically smaller, skinnier, less muscular.

Although Lunchroom Delight is supposedly created by Domino's, private research has found that all strains of Lunchroom Delight can be traced back to one person: Betsy Maloge. It is hypothesized that Betsy wants to slowly brainwash the citizens of America, further her agenda, and become the supreme ruler of America with the support of the next generation.
Takis

A bag of Takis Fuego.

Takis are a popular snack food that debuted in Mexico in 1999 and have been famously featured in IvanSonicGamer's Taki Pickle review, among a large number of other reviews.

## History

Takis were first introduced by the Barcel company in 1999 and were inspired by the traditional Mexican food, the taquito. They consist of a 3-inch corn chip rolled into a thin tube and dusted with a variety of flavor powders, the most popular being a spicy chili-flavored powder. They gained popularity as a snack food in Mexico among several other countries.

As part of a diplomatic offering to improve Mexico-Russia relations, an enormous shipment of Takis was delivered to areas of Russia, including Siberia, in 2012. They were received moderately well, but sales only spiked in 2016 when Barnaul underwent its destruction at the hands of Cryptids. Takis, being highly nutritious and readily available (as well as being easily recognized due to their similarities to traditional spicy Siberian foods), were quickly incorporated as a staple of the Barnaul diet. The Siberian Gas Station has a considerable stockpile of Takis and Ivan is known to store them in the basement of his childhood home (not to be confused with his temporary house, which functions as a base of operations in the spring and summer months).

## Effects

Other than the energy and stamina-enhancing effects of traditional spicy Barnaul cuisine, Takis do not seem to have any abnormal effects upon their consumer (unlike a large amount of Siberian foods) but are highly nutritious and typically serve as a flavor enhancing component, as Ivan often adds them to complete recipes simply because he would enjoy the addition of their flavor. When used this way, they could almost be considered a seasoning.
Doshington, Colombia

A point depicting Doshington on a map.

"*Dosificación-tonelada*" (roughly translated to Doshington) is an exotic and highly developed city in the middle region of the South American country of Colombia. Among other things, it is prominent for its International Spy Museum, more particularly the faux ventilation system display that Edmund Dobbie frequents.

## Description

Doshington is a highly technological city with many large tourist attractions including many malls and historical monuments. Oddly, the history celebrated within these monuments is entirely American, leading some to consider the city as a tribute to America. Additionally, it has a large subway system, and is notable for its many Five Guys restaurants that are open after 10:00, the typical closing time for Five Guys in other regions of the world. It is most notable for its International Spy Museum, a large spy-themed attraction that contains a faux ventilation system as part of a display that Edmund Dobbie is very fond of.

## Family Trip

Doshington came to the attention of the Epicness Universe denizens when Pasquel FeelinSour took a family trip there with his two sons Edmund Dobbie and Gerald Magoonez. They flew by plane (which is where IvanSonicGamer's Ice Drinking Challenge was recorded) and landed in Tilted Towers Airport, where they traveled to Doshington from there. They stayed for a few days, and on the final day the Magoon Theater slapping technique was invented by Gerald Magoonez. This is the trip where Edmund Dobbie discovered the vents for the first time.

## Sewer System

Doshington is home to an expansive sewer system where many rebellious or endangered youth reside. This sewer system was the childhood home of JuanMarioGamer and bears many resemblances to the much more expansive network Da Vents, which has raised interest for also originating in Doshington.
Onion Pepsi

A glass of Onion Pepsi garnished with Takis.

Onion Pepsi is a delicacy prepared and consumed by IvanSonicGameralongside a batch of homemade Oahtmeal.

## History

The history of Onion Pepsi is a complicated one highly debated by the Epicness universe's top anthropologists. Throughout history, similar beverages have been associated with divine or meditative rituals, and many legends have been composed in which the hero consumes Onion Pepsi (purposefully or unknowingly) and experiences potent visions that provide guidance for their quest. Its hallucinogenic properties have led it to be nearly universally recognized as a symbol of the psychedelic and the otherworldly, and it has inspired the creation of Coca-Cola as well as several modern hallucinogens such as LSD and DMT.

Its specific origin and a clear purpose for its widespread use remain unknown, although a Siberia-based research organization is attempting to discover the answers to these mysteries.

## Effects

Onion Pepsi is known to produce powerful and intense hallucinations that are very infrequently grounded in rationality. Common themes that users describe include stretched or warped faces, fictional imagery appearing "not quite right" (such as a set of windowshades appearing colorfully patterned), and (most frequently) surreal messages that users often perceive as comedic. These messages have historically led many to believe that they were guidance from a higher power. These hallucinations often last one to two hours, immediately followed by extreme fatigue.

Interestingly, IvanSonicGamer experiences no hallucinations after consuming Onion Pepsi. Potential reasons for this include the spice from the Takis counteracting the hallucinogens, or Ivan's mental state already being potentially highly removed from reality and preventing him from being fazed by the effects of the Onion Pepsi.
IMG001

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Man

Do I even need to say it?

MAN is a guy

## Biological Classification

Man classifies under the genus *Vir vir*, more specifically the *masculum* subgroup. He is the only known member of his species and appears to have an XY chromosomal structure.

## Personality

Man is just ██████, and additionally has maintained a rock music critic persona for several decades. Aside from this, he is popular for his *What's New, Scooby Doo?* theme song parody in which he interrupts a dancing female guest star dressed in anime memorabilia in order to bear his visage. This is considered the starting point for his career. He has also made a notable appearance in The Boyboy West Coast's 2019 rap song *Bottoms Up*, in which he features for approximately six seconds of silence, a performance regarded by all as one of the most astounding musical deliveries of all time. In the less critically acclaimed remix of this song, his appearance is accompanied by an alarm sound effect.

## Achievements

Man is one of the few individuals to be in possession of a highly sought-after N-Word Pass, and has been hailed the "dean of rock music critics" under his pseudonym Robert Christgau.
Hot Fry Water

Ivan holding a bottle of the traditional beverage.

### Effects

Increased energy and stamina, general loss of coordination, mild irritation or apathy towards others

### Source

Siberian Gas Station

Горячая жареная вода (Hot Fry Water in English) is a delicacy consumed by IvanSonicGamer as a challenge that, if he succeeds in accomplishing, means Santa must bring him a toy.

## History

Originally, Hot Fry Water was invented as a warm and energizing drink for weary travelers to carry in their thermos while traversing the harsh Russian tundra. It originally consisted of water, chili powder, and various corn and potato scraps left over from previous meals. These leftovers were traditionally stored under one's double chin for ease of access, and lead to a trend of facial weight gain in 19th century Russia in order to be adequately prepared for when one needs to make some Hot Fry Water. The drink became popular among schoolchildren after the invention of Doritos and Hot Cheeto Fries, which boosted the drink's energizing power and allowed Russian travelers to lose their double chins. After the destruction of Ivan's village, he looted the villagers' stockpiles of Hot Fry Water for his own consumption. He now consumes them as a challenge, in order to ensure that he will receive a toy from Santa in the upcoming Christmas season.

## Collection and Consumption

Hot Fry Water is typically prepared by crushing Hot Fries into small chunks and placing them in a plastic bottle with water and one to two Doritos, depending on the desired potency of the drink. It is left to sit like this until the Hot Fries have softened and the powder has began to come off of the Dorito(s). After this, it is shaken "harder than the Kremlin," or very hard, and even thrown on the ground. This is done until the drink is fully mixed. After this, it is customary to pour some onto the ground before drinking it, as a way of removing any unpleasant toxins released by the mixing process. Then, it is drank, often in large gulps at a time with pauses in between. Often, the rest is poured out if one does not finish the entire beverage, as it does not keep well.

## Effects

Similarly to Gamer Girl Pee, Hot Fry Water causes a lack of coordination in the consumer, often to the extent where one will lose their balance and flail their arms. It is traditionally revered for boosting the consumer's energy and stamina, allowing traditional consumers to traverse across the Russian tundra during winter more easily. It also has a highly intense flavor, as evidenced by how Ivan is quick to spit out the drink after drinking it. However, it has the mild effect of making the consumer irritated or apathetic to others, as evidenced by how Ivan becomes angry at his cameraman after consuming the beverage and doesn't care when his cameraman is disgusted by the beverage.
Giardia

A giardia parasite.

Giardiasis or giardia (also referred to as "beaver fever") is an intestinal infection caused by giardia parasites, as well as the blue stone on the Infinity Jauntlet. The most common cause of giardiasis is drinking water from lakes or other bodies of water contaminated with giardia parasite.

## Within the Epicness Universe

Giardia is a prevalent disease among the Epicness universe's citizens due to both their unsanitary plumbing and waist treatment procedures as well as its commercial benefits. Upon contraction, sufferers of giardia will experience extreme diarrhea for up to a few weeks. Naturally, diarrhea is a prized possession among Epicness universe denizens (see Mom's Toilet Bowl), and so contraction of giardia is amplified by willing contractors of the disease as well as those consuming the products of a giardia case.

The Giardia Stone, a powerful artifact associated with this disease, is also a close relation of giardia due to its potent ability to infect any substance it comes in contact with with giardia. It is currently lost to the public, rendering the completion of the Infinity Jauntlet temporarily impossible, and is thought to be in possession of a multimillionare giardia tycoon after its creation by a prominent poop dealer.
Phlegmstones

An artistic rendition of the Phlegmstones.

### Effects

Incredible boost in power and constitution at the cost of coherent mental function (excluding the Yeast Kidney Stone when used in the long term)

### Source

Varies

The Phlegmstones are six elemental artifacts that each carry incredible disease-affiliated power and, when combined, complete the fabled Infinity Jauntlet.

## Origin

The Phlegmstones are 6 different objects with varying times and places of origin, indicating to historians that they were not all created simultaneously, or even at the same time as the Infinity Jauntlet at all. The majority of Phlegmstones have a crystalline composition, indicating that they are a type of mineral unknown to the Epicness universe. (The one exception to this is the Giardia Stone, which was seemingly formulated in a laboratory by poop moguls.)

## History

The six Phlegmstones, listed in order of discovery, are:

-The Jaundice Pendant (time of creation unknown), which was thought to aid Le Cluk in his Kazakhstan rampages throughout the 15th century.

-The Yeast Kidney Stone (circa 17 CE), which was discovered by the Globglogabgalab in the very early 19th century.

-The Leprosy Stone (predated by an older and closely related Measles Stone), which was forged by Leprosy using the remains of the Measles Stone approximately in the late 19th century or early 20th century.

-The Giardia Stone (circa 1960 CE), which was formulated in a lab by an unknown group of giardia-infected stool tycoons.

The two remaining Phlegmstones, which have yet to be discovered, are:

-The Gangrene Stone

-The Cyanosis Stone (thought to be incorporated in an early prototype of the Iron Lung)

## Effects

Each of the Phlegmstones are closely correlated with their namesake disease and can inflict the effects of the disease at will both upon the user and their targets. This leads to varied effects based on the given Phlegmstone, but each are known to grant the user a massive boost in strength, stamina and durability at the cost of their sophisticated mental functions. This, combined with the powerful disease that the user must endure in order to wield the power of the stone, lead to most users being destroyed by the stone's power. Due to this, only the strongest and most powerful denizens of the Epicness universe have been observed to be capable of wielding a Phlegmstone's power (these include Le Cluk and several Cryptids).

The Yeast Kidney Stone is the only exception to a general rule of Phlegmstones in that long-term usage of the stone does not result in a loss of mental function and actually results in a large boost after a long enough period of use (as evidenced by the Globglogabgalab).
Cry of the Cluk

The Cry of the Cluk is an act of dominance and ferocity that is favored by Le Cluk and used against many denizens of the Epicness Universe. It is most commonly used on Edmund Dobbie.

## Origin

On one fine afternoon, Edmund was playing a game of Team Fortress 2 with his friend Dimitri Notcluk while calling one another. After leaving to do some "non Cluk-like things," Dimitri left the call. Edmund remained in the chatroom for a long period of time after that. Out of nowhere, a cryptid that is presumed to be Le Cluk joined the call and let out a blood curdling screech. This caused Edmund to fall backwards in his chair and exclaim "JESUS CHRIST" in surprise.

## Technique

The act consists of stealthily joining a voice chatroom or a call, adjusting the microphone to be very close to your mouth and screeching as loud as possible.
Betsy

## Betsy Maloge

A photograph of Betsy taken after the divorce. She looks strikingly similar to her ex-husband, Doge.

### Aliases

Ungrateful Whore (coined by Doge.)Veronica (a pseudonym she uses to lure gentleman gamers & to trick Doge and stop him from stalking her.)

### Relatives

Doge (ex-husband)Ethan (son) Lilah (daughter)

## Physical description

### Eye color

Hazel

Betsy Maloge is the former wife of Doge and mother of Ethan and Lilah Maloge. Many describe her as an average suburban mother. Her ex-husband disagrees with these depictions. Not much else is known about her as she tends to keep a low profile, especially after her divorce.

## Personality

Her true personality is rather mysterious but if Doge's description is to be trusted then she could be seen as a irredeemable monster who abuses and uses everyone she gets close to. It is highly unlikely that this is true with Doge's hatred of Betsy for divorcing him and taking full custody of the kids offering a good explanation for his distorted vision of her.

## Divorce Case

The reasoning behind Betsy's divorce is most likely due to Doge's scummy business practices, large spending sprees, and questionable morals. Doge paints a different picture. He claims that she mentally and physically abused him and the kids. He also claims that she stole money from their joint account for frivolous purchases which explains why the money went missing from the account. It is unknown who was telling the truth but nonetheless, Betsy won the case and gained full custody of the kids along with the remaining assets from Doge's failed crypto-currency business which she quickly liquidated.
Walmart

The exterior of the only open Walmart store as of 2018.

Walmart (frequently shortened to Walmar) is a singular retail outlet located in downtown Barnaul that is often referenced by IvanSonicGamer and his associates, although it is not Ivan's primary food source, as he more frequently patronizes the Siberian Gas Station located near his village.

## Origin

Formerly a hugely successful international retail outlet founded in the United States of America, Walmart underwent enormous rebranding following a transfer of ownership to a "Mr. Maloge." The store changed from an all-purpose supermarket to a highly specialized upscale sporting gear and machine parts outlet with "special exchanges" occurring in an area restricted from general consumers. Eventually, it was discovered that the outlet had been turned into an enormous narcotic trafficking establishment and had been employing unethical business practices including severe docking of employees' pay, abnormally long work hours and under some instances even child labor. This discovery forced Walmart to close all of its stores nationwide and provide compensation payments to its several million employees, also landing Mr. Maloge in federal prison with a hefty sentence of life with possibility of parole in prison and, even more troubling to him, loss of custody of his two children. However, one singular Walmart store managed to stay open in Barnaul, Siberia, which hastily rebranded itself as "Walgre" in an attempt to distance themselves from the scandal. Due to their relative notoriety within the social sphere, the store is well known to Ivan and his associates, as well as rival YouTubers Jake and Logan Paul.

## Halloween Special

Barnaul's Walmart store serves as the setting for the bulk of Ivan's Halloween Special, in which he makes a journey from his house to Walmart in downtown Barnaul accompanied by a group of mostly nonviolent Cryptids that escaped from a nearby quarantine, getting frightened, lost and potentially kidnapped before eventually finding the store and purchasing an assortment of foods including Widowmaker Fingers. He consumes these in the parking lot under pressure from a group of Cryptids before ending the video.
Ivan's Bunker

Ivan's Bunker is an underground dwelling belonging to IvanSonicGamer, in which he takes residency during the COVID rampage of 2020. Since it is hidden underground, its true location is unknown, although it is heavily theorized to be located in Barnaul, where Ivan has lived for the majority of his life and where Cryptid defense systems are most established, including numerous underground bunker infrastructures.

## Origin

Many bunkers in Siberia, particularly in Barnaul, were constructed throughout the 20th century to protect from heavy Cryptid attacks. These were often connected to now largely-defunct facilities that served as military forts and research plants, although a number of bunkers were constructed independently from these facilities. However, due to the decreased frequency of Cryptid attacks in the early 2000s, these bunkers fell out of use and were left abandoned, save for the occasional squatter or doomsday fanatic. However, due to the insurgence of COVID throughout Siberia in 2019 and 2020, many Siberian citizens, including the remainders of Barnaulese civilization, fled into the bunkers to quarantine themselves from the dangerous Cryptid and its infectious properties. An organization has began to form among quarantined populations, headed by a certain inglorious yet oblivious YouTube food reviewer.

## Interior

Due to the dark conditions he films in, only a small section of Ivan's bunker is visible. This includes a makeshift desk composed of two large plastic containers and a wooden chair propped against a white vertical beam, with a dark corridor extending behind him. On his right, there is another wall and a disorganized shelf which Ivan has propped a small puppet against. On his left, there is a network of pipes connecting to what appears to be a water heater. His immediate vicinity is also decorated with personal possessions, including memorabilia from a few of his favorite series including Five Nights at Freddy's, Rick and Morty and the Emoji Movie. It is unknown whether facilities exist for Ivan to access heat, running water or a place to sleep, although there appears to be a doorway in the corridor behind his chair that may possibly lead to a bathroom.
Orange Justice

A hallucination a victim of the Orange Justice may see during their stupor.

The Orange Justice is an ancient skill performed when one wishes to temporarily disable an adversary. This technique can be performed with any fruit of a citrus variety, however it is most effective when preformed in tandem with an orange, hence the name.

## Technique

The Orange Justice is a relatively simple technique, only consisting of three motions. The first is extending your arm while holding an orange (preferably a whole orange as anything less would only release mere fragments of its power). Next, you wave the orange-bearing hand in front of your adversary's face. This is a crucial phase as it completely decimates the vast majority of all forms of both physical and mental defense. If executed correctly, your opponent will assume a dazed expression temporarily. The third and final phase of the technique occurs directly following the second for maximum effectiveness. The final phase consists simply of pressing your index finger into the soft, cartilaginous spot of your victim's skull. This seals the enchantment, causing your victim's eyes to roll back into their head and inflicting upon them a moan. The main effect of this action is lowering your victim's mental capacity and IQ to that of someone who describes themselves as "quirky" or "esoteric". A common phrase uttered by recipients of the Orange Justice is "I don' member". It is also not uncommon for the victim to experience hallucinations of an extremely deep fried image of U.S. President Donald Trump's face on an orange. As of today, it is still unclear as to what exactly the hallucination means.

## Precaution

While not lethal, this technique inflicts temporary mental disability and/or full body paralysis upon its recipient. However, the Orange Justice may cause long-lasting major physiological damage if overused. It is not recommended to perform this action to an individual multiple times in quick succession as it increases the risk of the aforementioned long-term effect. While powerful, the Orange Justice has one key weakness as it is highly ineffective against those who have been Bogpilled. These people may feel slight discomfort in the form of a mild itch, but will never feel the full effects of the technique.
Taki Pickle

IvanSonicGamer holding a Taki Pickle.

Taki Pickles (Таки солёный огурец *Taki solyonyy ogurets* in Russian) are a traditional Siberian dish. They are, simply, gas station pickles stuffed with Takis. They are a favorite food of IvanSonicGamer's, as his mom makes them for him after school.

## History

The first Taki Pickle was thought to be invented by Genghis Khan, leader of the Mongols, after he got hungry while filling up his Corvette. He decided to try something new, that was never thought of before, by stuffing a Van Holten's pickle with some Takis. The Khan was so struck by the deliciousness of its flavor that he immediately made it the national dish of the Mongol Empire. The Taki Pickle spread across Siberia, but not much further, because Siberia is the only place where pickle trees grow.

The Taki Pickle was relatively confined to Siberia until Simon Mironov, a fourteen year old boy from Siberia, became the World Champion of Taki Pickle Eating in 1818 after eating 146 Taki Pickles in under thirty seconds. After this, the Taki Pickles spread wildly throughout the globe, in an event that historians dub the "Taki Pickle Craze of 1818". Taki Pickles were immensely popular everywhere until a sudden outbreak of ███████ was linked to the glorious gherkins. Countries all over the world declared Taki Pickles a national health issue, and Taki Pickles were made illegal. However, Siberians were undeterred, and continue preparing the marvelous meal to this day.

## Effects

Taki Pickles do not seem to carry any unique or anomalous effects, apart from how such a strange combination of foods is so tasty. They are not very nutritional, but they are highly salty. Despite the relative normality of the item, they are in some way related to the incident following the Taki Pickle Craze of 1818. In the event, nearly half the population of the entire globe, primarily in developed and urban areas, became afflicted with ███████, a strange disease in which patients became ███████████. This incident does not seem to have anything to do with the actual nature of the food, however.
Meenion Warpaint

IvanSonicGamer adorned with self-applied Meenion Warpaint in his 3DS Unboxing and Custom Vape Rig video.

### Effects

Protection from negative events, most importantly Cryptid attacks

### Source

Created by religious officials

The Meenion Warpaint is a painted face mask donned by IvanSonicGamer in his 3DS Vape video. Wearing the mask produces a placebo Jaundice effect, enabling the wearer to withstand the onslaught of cryptids that lurk in Barnaul.

## Origin

   The Meenion Warpaint is part of a longstanding tradition among the residents of Barnaul. The warpaint is first applied to children as a coming-of-age ritual. It is said to grant somewhat mystical powers to the wearer for the duration that it is worn. The design resembles Миньян (phoneticized as Meenion) , the patron deity of Barnaul. Meenion is a powerful protector deity that is said to guard those who honor him from several types of negative events, including famine, natural disasters and most importantly and historically, Cryptid attacks. However, he is often confused with the small, yellow creatures created by Illumination Animation Studios for their feature film series Despicable Me, which are referred to in the series as Minions. This confusion is accentuated by Ivan's adoration for both the Siberian deity and the animated characters, although comparing the two is strictly taboo among the residents of Barnaul and will often result in scorn and disgust from society.

## Powers

Most notably, the Meenion Warpaint provides the wearer with resistance to Cryptid attacks and can often make it difficult for Cryptids to detect them at all. It achieves this through applying a faux jaundice effect to the wearer, which is a known repellent for most Siberian Cryptids. It can also boost one's bodily capabilities, including strength and stamina. However, the effect can wear off incredibly quickly. In order to achieve full and constant protection, one must frequently reapply the warpaint as needed. This gives the warpaint very little practical use, so it is mainly used ceremonially.

## Meenion

The powers of the Meenion warpaint are derived from Meenion, the patron protector deity of Barnaul. It is a mystical being that has never been encountered in physical form by any human in all of recorded history. It prefers to reveal itself to worshipers through dreams and visions. Both historical and contemporary worship of Meenion strongly include the belief that Meenion will protect them from negative occurrences and Cryptid attacks if its image is featured prominently on ceremonial gear, most often warpaint. Depictions of Meenion are rare as worshipers are adamant about keeping the image of Meenion sacred, but from Ivan's warpaint one can gather that it is a yellow-skinned being with two large, wide eyes, a grinning mouth and a blue article of clothing draped around its body.
Ziltz

**Ziltz**, from German *sülze*, is a European food consisting of meat and gelatin. Although not a common food, it is known particularly by American children of Polish and Eastern European descent for being generally unappetizing.

Polish mothers often force their children to eat the Ziltz, usually using threats. A sentence which brings fear to many who have had to eat the Ziltz is "Johnny, eat your Ziltz, or no supper for a week!", often spoken in a thick European accent.

Ziltz is often associated with poor, large Eastern European families. A typical consumer of Ziltz may look like something out of a historical movie about the Great Depression or the Holocaust. Perhaps Ziltz was created out of sheer necessity, and became a cultural food by sheer bad luck.

Due to its prevalence among the Eastern European diaspora, it is only likely that Ziltz would spread to the far reaches of Siberia. In Siberia, Ziltz is ground up, pressed into small, thin pieces, spiced, and bagged. In this form, Ziltz is known as "Doritos".
SEX

SEX (an acronym for Socioeconomic Endocrine Extrapolator) is a phenomenon that produces a potent aura of the same name. This aura is of an indescribable but very powerful nature that may cause people to become Bogpilled. Edmund Dobbie frequently proclaims "Sex Money" whilst being quite braggadocious over his large quantities of gangrenous tissue in the popular Marvel movie Fortnite.

## Common SEX phrases

"Sex money" -Edmund Dobbie

"Basically Sex😎" -Pasquel Feelinsour enjoys this phrase.

"¿Dónde está el coochie?"
Porkpill

The Porkpill is a mental state of enlightenment achieved by supporting A Fat Man's inclusion in Super Smash Brothers Ultimate as a DLC fighter. Though the "pill" aspect of the state is mostly figurative, a physical pill allowing the user to achieve a Porkpilled status does exist.

## Phases

* Alpha stage: Individual is completely ignorant of Porky or indifferent to his inclusion.
* Beta stage: Individual is introduced to the Porkpill theorem, most often through the evidence of his exclusion as a spirit in Ultimate's comprehensive roster despite appearing as a boss in Brawl. Individual will ponder this information.
* Gamma stage: Individual will reject the information in some instances, but mostly disregard it. Instead, they will begin to entertain fictional negative perceptions of Porky, such as the perception that he wasn't an important character, despite him appearing as a secondary antagonist and a primary antagonist in two different titles.
* Delta stage: Individual will gain an intense disdain for Porky and often become so frustrated in their attempts to disprove his existence that they simply give up and try again repeatedly. This is lessened as the futility of the situation begins to sink in.
* Epsilon stage: Individual will begin seeking for any amount of feasible proof that Porky would be fun to play as, rather than accept his likelihood to get in based on the spirit theory.
* Zeta stage: A theoretical moveset is presented to the individual in this phase. They will immediately accept the porkpill, bringing them a feeling of immense euphoria.
* Свинина stage: pOrKy iS cOoL aS aWeSoMe!!!! guys he will be in smash i want him in smash now

## Physical Pill

While a physical pill is not commercially available at the moment, a version is being patented and will soon be shipped to IvanSonicGamer to test.
Dothers Brothers

The Dothers Brothers logo, which seems rough but is actually heralded as one of the best examples of graphic design.

### Location

The United States of America, as well as areas in Siberia

### Inhabitants

Freddy Gosmier

Dothers Brothers is a chain of establishments founded and managed by Freddy Gosmier. They are known for their fresh-brewed coffee and specialty pastries known as Dagels.

## Origin

Freddy Gosmier became inspired to create Dothers Brothers on April 20th, 2012, when he attended a gun violence awareness protest. He decided that he could go for a warm brew, and using his immense financial resources commissioned same-day construction of his very first Dothers Brothers cafe. Initially, he offered coffee, tea, and sweet, circular baked goods known as Dagels. His restaurant became an enormous success practically overnight, leading to a new competitor entering the market. A new chain of joint bakery and coffee shops emerged known as Duffin Dagels who had claimed ownership of the Dagel and its creation. Freddy would not stand for this, however, and to further the competition expanded his menu to include the now hugely popular item, scalding hot coffee that was served at a temperature right underneath its boiling point when ordered mild and right underneath its evaporation point when served hot. Unable to compete, Duffin Dagels restaurants closed all over the United States and Siberia, but remained popular in Spain where Freddy was unable to secure copyright rights for the Dagel.

## Trivia

* The restaurant has been speculated to be related to the existing coffee chain Dunn Brothers, although Freddy has stated that there are no similarities and that Dothers Brothers is clearly superior.
* The Dothers Brothers themselves are fictional personas or mascots rather than actual individuals associated with the restaurant's foundation.
* Their famous Scalding Hot Coffee has been responsible for 35% of traumatic injuries or deaths within the past year alone!
Yeast Bunnies

The Yeast Bunnies, moments after undergoing a mitotic transformation.

The Yeast Bunnies are two powerful creatures that were created at the same time as Le Cluk, approximately 13.7 BYA. They are the creators of the Yeast Kidney Stone, and currently lie dormant in Pasquel's house, unbeknownst to IvanSonicGamer.

## Backstory

For a long time, the Yeast Bunnies traveled from planet to planet, observing the ways of the developing organisms, before finding something very wrong on Earth. In the country of Kazakhstan, a powerful humanoid named Le Cluk was terrorizing villages and rampaging through early civilizations. However, the humans were quick to develop methods to keep Le Cluk at bay by cultivating lemons and limes and preparing them in a customary cereal along with candies, goat milk and spices. (This later spread across Eurasia and into Siberia, where it became eaten as Spicy Skittle Cereal.) However, when Plato unearthed the Jaundice Pendant during an excursion and later died from its power, Le Cluk discovered it and used its immense power to bring human civilization within an inch of destruction. The Yeast Bunnies, deciding to take action, pooled together and urinated a colossal kidney stone with power large enough to match Le Cluk. This stone was bestowed upon a beautiful forest elf by the Yeast Bunnies, who called himself the Globglogabgalab. Using the power of the Yeast Kidney Stone, he became immensely intelligent and created a yeast army large enough to overpower Le Cluk and seal away the Jaundice Pendant in the hands of a young cryptid living in Siberia named Leprosy. The Globglogabgalab, infatuated by the immense power and wisdom the Yeast Kidney Stone gave him, took refuge in the basement of a large wooden house in the forest, where he fed off the wisdom offered by books in the basement's library and grew immensely obese. He also gained the power to change his form at will. He is still in possession of the Yeast Kidney Stone, but as many of the cryptids seek its power for the Infinity Jauntlet, he must guard it carefully.

## Post-Cluk

After defeating Le Cluk temporarily, the Yeast Bunnies found that they were not powerful enough to leave Earth, and decided to hide in Ivan's favorite pizzeria, posing as game prizes. By chance, Ivan won them both with his good boy points, taking them back to his house. They are currently hiding on a placemat, hoping that Ivan does not summon their power again.

## Physical Description

The Yeast Bunnies are two small, identical orange bunnies, approximately the size of a fingernail each. They have small black eyes and noses, but no visible mouths. Their bright orange coloration comes from the fact that they are pure condensed yeast, which is purified to such a degree that the absolute shade of yeast is visible free from interference. They have a rubbery texture and smell strongly of yeast. They are absolutely immobile while in "toy" form, but are actually capable of incredibly fast airborne travel.