Frigid Beach

an adventure starring Kitschy, Dominique, and Flex.

## Short Episode Description

Kitschy, Dominque, and Flex Arcana dive into a Winter Wonderland threatening to ruin the bi-monthly FBK beach party, and rekindle a few fires along the way. Frigid Beach is an actual play podcast of Sexy Battle Wizards by Grant Howitt.

## Non Player Characters

* Freida Frost
* Edith Embers
* Jack Frost
* Jack's golem

## Plot Summary

It’s the bi-monthly often rescheduled FBK beach party and everyone’s been invited! Dancing, games, drinking, and a whole bunch of vitamin D coming from those fantastic rays of sunny shine! Everyone is basking in the warmth of the big ball in the sky, having a good laugh, and catching up on the latest adventures when suddenly, and without clear reason, the temperatures begin to plunge! What a bummer!

Nulisag is having none of it and orders the nearest FBK member to fix whatever is going on. That’s Kitschy, who quickly latches onto the librarian, Dominique and they’re off into the winter wonderland that now extends beyond the city of Niqumui! Dropping temperatures, snowfall, and kawaii ice elementals? Oh my! It’s not long, however, before Dominique, with her heftiest of books takes it upon herself to start testing theories. That is if by theories, you mean impulses, and by testing, you mean smashing adorable little ice elementals. We find out that they’re gooey on the inside, and their screams burn into Kitschy’s brain. They still have waking nightmares to this day.

Eventually, we put the murderous rampage on hold for a quick costume change, back at Dominique’s apartment in the city. Was that a hamburger outfit in her closet, and why does this jacket fit Kitschy? Now, back to the murdering!

Thank goodness, for eventually there’s a change in external stimuli, in the form of a giant floating island high above the Lasumh Wood. It most certainly appears to be their objective, but however will they reach it? Dominique has an answer! Books! Lots and lots of books! She begins to stack them and Kitschy sneaks away further into the woods in search of anyone in the area that might know something about the appearance of the island.

They follow a path that forks to the left and come across a frozen pond, only noticing the ice skate marks left on the surface, but no signs of disturbance along the shore or tracks to follow. Well, time to go check back in on Dominique, and good thing too, as she has gotten herself stuck 300 books up in the air. Luckily, Kitschy can fly and slow her descent.

The pair decide to go right this time, which leads them to a house made of ice. Inside, is a horribly frigid woman. Beautiful though she may be, she may die to give another a compliment and wants absolutely nothing to do with Kitschy and Dominique in their current peasant state. She casts them out. How dreadful!

They have the wonderful idea to return to the pond, where Dominique notices that someone is actively making the ice skating marks, but that someone is invisible and silent. After taking out some frustration on the ice, they inform this invisible person that they plan to murder the frigid ice beach, inferring the woman in the ice house down the path.

Almost out of ideas, Dominique comes up with the idea of having Kitschy fly with a rope ladder. Kitschy had been worried that the flight in that weather may have been too rough on their delicate fairy wings, but realizing the dire times, agreed. They reach the top and send down the rope ladder for Dominique. Standing tall atop this floating island is a castle.

First staking it out, they enter the castle to find Edith Embers, another beautiful woman. She is, however, very fortunately kind. Better yet, she gives them a gift– a MAGICAL GIRL TRANSFORMATION!!! Wow oh wow! Dominique's “hair” is now blonde and Kitschy has muscles and a tight leather outfit. They’re gifted with an extra transformation artifact, which is great because as they descend from the island, they run into Flex Arcana! Flex puts on the ring and also has a….rather lackluster transformation. It’s okay, he was hot to begin with.

The now trio makes their way back to the pond for the third time. Luckily this time, they are equipped with more suitable abilities and Kitschy makes quick work to reveal the skater’s identity. Now being able to see him, they meet Jack Frost, but he’s lost his form and is barely present. Flex uses his necromantic inclination to breath some life back into Jack, but it only helps partially and only temporarily. The party slowly realizes a connection between Jack and the cute little ice elementals. They give him one to care for and he begins to re-corporealize, but only a little.

The quadruple resolves to talk to his sister, the ice bish, Freida Frost, but something draws Jack’s attention back to the pond. Dominique must investigate! It’s a good thing her book now has a black hole in it, because it clears away the ice enough for Flex to jump in.

Beneath the pond is an underground tunnel system, hosting an unconscious, chained up, Adonis-like blue golem. It is quite the muscular specimen of conventional masculinity. Kitschy projects in using their mirrors and Dominique swims down to join. Having some alone time with Jack, Kitschy begins to test a theory, by flirting. The theory is quickly confirmed via mirror communication as the golem begins to shrink and Jack’s form materializes a bit more, and HE IS A CUTIE!!! Kitschy absolutely cannot pass up this opportunity not only to help someone and fix the frigid beach issue, but also get some. That tight leather really came in clutch. All fades to black.

Jack is material and the weather has begun to stabilize, but it’s time to address the root of the problem– Frieda! Flex, Dominique, and Kitschy confront her in her home and give a 101 lesson on compassion, more-or-less. Yes, she’s beautiful. Yes, she’s powerful, successful, and charismatic, but they urge her to accept her brother for who he is and his version of success. It’s only slightly received, so the party resolves to show her.

Jack loves the ice elementals, and he loves bringing joy to others, it’s what he’s good at. What better way to let him demonstrate what he loves than by throwing a block party! And so, the entire FBK guild bands together to help Jack throw a (localized, controlled, and intentional) winter wonderland beach party for the city of Niqamui. Freida even shows up, AND COMPLIMENTS JACK!!!