Henry Oak

This page contains possibly major spoilers for the events of the podcast. Scroll at your own risk.

## Henry Oak-Garcia

### Relatives

Hildy Russet (grandmother)
Barry Oak (father)
Autumn Oak (mother)
Mercedes Oak-Garcia (wife)
Lark Oak-Garcia (son)
Sparrow Oak-Garcia (son)
Hero Oak (granddaughter)
Normal Oak (grandson)

### Affiliation

The Doodlers
Darryl Wilson
Ron Stampler
Glenn Close

## Appearances

### Debut

Season 1 Episode 1 "A Man and His Handshake"

**Henry Oak-Garcia** is the Birkenstock rocking, crunchy, munchy, hippie, nature druid dad of the group. He is the father of Lark and Sparrow and the husband of Mercedes Oak-Garcia. He is a geologist and works at the San Dimas Museum of Natural History.

## Overview

> **Henry:** *Ah, yo, uh, Darryl, I think we should— I think we should intervene here. You know, this seems like a kind of mob justice type of thing. And I know we’re trying to get our sons back, but who are we to our sons if we don’t lead by good example and when they’re not around?*
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## Personality

Henry has repressed anger management issues for trying to maintain a serene exterior and struggling to deal with his sons.

## Appearance

Henry wears Birkenstocks. He has a trilobite tattooed on his back.

## History

### Initial Landing

The dads and their sons are headed to a soccer tournament. On the way their Honda Odyssey is sucked into a purple portal and they wake up in a strange land without their sons. They are attacked by people in red cloaks, and kill them with the exception of Three, whom they grill for details. They learn that The Lance has sold their children to slavery. They attempt to negotiate with the Lance, and Darryl makes a deal forcing him to eat his son's skin the next time he sees him. Henry steals a list with their son's locations on it. They decide to head towards Neverwinter where Lark and Sparrow are. On the way they encounter a fairy dragon named Gartok who has enslaved his children with Imperator Collars. They rewrite the instructions on the collars with the help of Darryl from the future and use them to force Gartok to be a good dad.

**Initial Landing**
Henry is first introduced with Lark and Sparrow who are punching a tree in their yard. Henry commends them for attempting to deal with their aggression, but tries and fails to dissuade them from harming the tree. They are picked up by Darryl Wilson like the other dads and their sons, and are pulled through a portal into Faerûn.

As they wake up, Henry freaks out upon realizing that they are not where they are supposed to be and that their sons are missing.

> **Darryl:** *Are any of you thinking that we’re not in California anymore?*
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> **Henry:** *You know, I have to say, it sounds a little silly, but I think, given that we’ve seem to have fallen through some sort of space-time vortex, that I would agree with you Darryl. Also, again, I can’t stress this enough: these rocks and trees are very different and very strange, and not of any California region that I’m aware of. These are not redwoods, y’all.*
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As the dads think about what to do, they are attacked by three people in red cloaks. Henry bursts with mystical power in the fight, casting Poison Spray and capturing the final redcloak with Entangle.

The redcloak introduces himself as Three, one of The Lance's corporals. The Lance sold their children to slavery, but has a logbook where he writes down where. The dads and Three head to Phandalin, where Three takes them to The Lance’s house. They plan to trade Three for sons' location, but The Lance shoots Three with a crossbow. Henry excitedly suggests other possible strategies, like pretending to be a warparty, pretending to be emissaries from the Kingdom of Westrock, and having Glenn tell their story as a Wonderwall-cover. At the end Glenn starts playing Wonderwall and telling The Lance that they are emissaries from the Kingdom of Westrock. Darryl immediately interrupts him, saying they were supposed to be warriors. Henry interrupts Darryl by silencing him with a kiss.

The Lance is unimpressed by this, so offer him Darryl’s Nokia with the Snake-game. The Lance is not impressed by the game, but as Ron mentions the loss of his dog who got bitten by a snake, The Lance seems to relent. Darryl attempts to persuade The Lance by showing him a picture of himself and Grant getting a puppy. However, as he mentions that Grant lost the puppy, The Lance grows furious. He starts insulting Grant. Henry chimes in that they are trying to punish Grant, which is why they want to find him and then calms Darryl down with another kiss. Darryl collects himself and makes a blood pact that binds the dads to eating Grant's skin when they meet him. The Lance shows Darryl Grant’s location. Then, as Darryl is speaking to The Lance, Darryl kisses The Lance as a distraction and Henry successfully steals the page which lists their sons locations.

The dads leave The Lance’s house with the list, and consider their options. Henry argues that they should go save Lark and Sparrow first since there are two of them. Darryl has to eat Grant's skin, Glenn thinks Nick'll be fine and Ron believes Terry Jr. is better off without him, so they decide to head to Lark and Sparrow in Neverwinter.

Henry makes a joke.
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> **Henry:** *Neverwinter. Sounds like we should pack our shorts, boys.*
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Knocking Glenn out for the sheer psychic pain of repeated dad jokes. The dads decide to sleep at the Wispy Woods Inn to recover. There is the sound of yelling and kicking from nearby and Henry and Darryl go investigate, while Ron stays with Glenn. They come to find a group of people beating a small fairy dragon with bracelets called Gartok. Henry argues they should lead by good example and stop the mob. They attempt to intimidate them to leave but fail, so Henry casts Thunderwave, scaring away the crowd.

They head to the Inn and Ron manages to convince Sweet Matilda that he is a brewer who is here to sell her beer in exchange for a room for a night.

The dads share a dream of a figure in a purple cloak, saying something in a booming voice, pointing at them.

They escape the in through the window and head back to the van. They start driving towards Neverwinter. Henry starts to suspect ther might be something off with Gartok's motives, but chooses to be willfully ignorant. Eventually they stop by Gartok's children's hideout. Gartok mentions he cannot go inside and he cannot explain, which causes one of the Gartok's bracelets fire up. Ron decides to try and take a bracelet off, which kills one of Gartok's children. Gartok attempts to kill Ron in retaliation. This doesn't go over well with the other dads.

The dads leave Gartok in the car. Darryl pulls Henry aside, and gives Henry his Charleston Chews and tells Henry to give him one whenever he does something his dad would be proud of. They head to the hideout and find the two remaining dragon children. Henry is wracked with guilt, but manages not to confess to the murder of their brother. The dragon children reveal that Gartok has been keeping them enslaved, though it is not atypical of dragons. They encountered a man in a purple cloak, who allowed them to pull out of a Deck of Many Things and have Gartok put the bracelets on instead of them.

The dads come to agree that they should stop Gartok, and decide that they will put the bracelets back on Gartok but make them say other things that will force him to be a good dad. They argue about what makes a good dad and what they want to do for their children. Henry brings up values like love and honesty, Darryl brings up the Golden Rule, Glenn brings up allowing your kids to make their own mistakes and Ron brings up wanting Terry Jr. to never have to feel like Ron did at his age. They agree on "Treat your kids like you’d wanna be treated and let your kids make their own decisions, within a certain boundary, until they're dragon adult age and do not buy store brand for toilet paper or mac and cheese.

They are interrupted by a time traveling Darryl from the future, who tells them to change the bracelets to say "Treat your kids in the same way you would want to be treated. But if you don't like yourself and you would actually treat yourself badly, that doesn't mean you can hurt your kids or hurt anybody they love, and that the bracelets cannot be removed by anybody other than these four dads." He also tells them to remove the, "Within a certain boundary" thing. Then he runs off.

They put the bracelets on Gartok and take Gartok to the children. Henry blurts out that they killed the dragons' sibling, but Gartok interrupts him, saying that it is his fault for treating his children like commodities.

The dads continue their journey and leave the dragons behind.

### Neverwinter

The dads go to Neverwinter to find Lark and Sparrow. It turns out the city houses the Cult of the Doodler, headed by the Lord of Chaos. The dads want to talk to the Lord of Chaos to find out where Lark and Sparrow are. They meet Sheriff Boreanaz, a major member of the cult, who tells them that if they impress the Lord of Chaos he will allow them to meet him. Also, he wants to summon the Doodler to end and remake the world. The dads get naked to fight some monsters and mortified Lark and Sparrow reveal themselves to be the Lord of Chaos. They imprison the dads. The dads promptly escape. Sparrow escapes to start the mass sacrifice ritual and Henry pursues him and manages to convince him that true strength is to be a love wolf. The other dads fight guards and capture Lark. They free Chekhov's Snake and Everything. Darryl spares Cern but kills his children with the Bag of Beans by dropping a pyramid on the tower.

**Neverwinter**

The dads arrive outside Neverwinter and see a picture of the Doodler as drawn by Lark and Sparrow across the former banner of the city. Glenn suggests they intimidate the guards by honking the horn and dress up in leftover soccer jerseys to convince the guards that they are the emissaries of the Doodler. They successfully enter Neverwinter and take a short rest.

They wake up surrounded by guards. The guards mention the two previous emissaries, Lark and Sparrow, disappeared, seemingly turning into The Lord of Chaos. The guard directs the group to The Lord of Chaos, who is at Ankara the Entertaining's Pit of Myriad Delights.

On the way, Darryl tries to sneak two Charleston Chews. The first attempt is successful, but he gets caught on the second attempt. Henry gives the Charleston Chews to the Bleeding Elf as a punishment.

The Pit of Myriad Delights has two pits, one for an orgies and another for fighting monsters. Sheriff David Boreanaz arrives to interrogate the group. He reveals the Doodler resembles an eldritch god worshipped by a cult he's a part of, and that the prophecy states that when the Lord of Chaos sheds the blood of an unsung hero, the Doodler will be released and remake the world into a better one.

Darryl is entranced by the sex pit and heads towards it, leading to Henry accidentally rip Darryl’s shirt off. Darryl pushes Henry into the sex pit, mortified. In the sex pit, Henry declines advances and leaves.

Sheriff Boreanaz isn’t particularly impressed, but suggests proving worthiness in the fighting pit, which may draw the eye of the Lord of Chaos, who in turn may know where Lark and Sparrow are. The group prepares for combat and Henry suggests getting naked to invoke chaos. Darryl, Glenn, and Henry strip down Ron is wearing several layers of clothing underneath, and only takes off the topmost one.

Lark and Sparrow are drop their cloak and are revealed to be the Lord of Chaos. They scream in indignation at their dad for getting naked. Lark requests guards to move the dads to the dungeon to avoid their Henry's anger. Henry, Darryl and Ron get knocked unconscious. Glenn surrenders and remains conscious, and so sees the group be taken to a tower with an elevator. The twins take elevator up, guards take dads down to prison, still naked.

Ron discovers a discolored brick in his cell with runes sayin “I’m Hungry.” Ron responds, “Hi Hungry, I’m dad.”, and frees all dads with the exception of Henry. Henry's cell remains locked with runes saying “This is your fault.” Darryl chases Lark and Sparrow after being freed, Glenn fights a guard, Ron hides in his pants. Glenn helps a shapeshifting murderer called Everything escape her cell. Darryl tells a lizard man to run and he will spare him, planning to take an attack of opportunity. But he misses, so the lizard man is free to go.

Henry casts Entangle on Sparrow as more guards arrive. Darryl then pretends to be the "Dad of Chaos," and threatens to crush Lark’s head, which intimidates guards to release Henry. Lark and Sparrow agree to start the ceremony separately. Sparrow heads to the elevator to summon The Doodler without Lark. Henry chases after Sparrow and persuades Sparrow to forsake his plans with a speech about love, and ends it with a wolf transformation. Sparrow changes his mind about the ceremony, stating that he now understands that true strength is to be a love wolf. Sheriff Boreanaz is displeased at Sparrow’s change of allegiance, but realizes Henry is an unsung hero for saving his son from evil. Sheriff Boreanaz commands soldiers to attack Henry and Sparrow. Henry bites Boreanaz and Sparrow follows suit. Sparrow is hit and falls unconscious. Henry attempts to escape with the elevator but is pursued by Boreanaz and several guards.

When the other dads reach them, Darryl drops the Bag of Beans down the elevator shaft, and four beans spill out creating eggs, a geysir of apple juice, pink toads, and a 60x60ft pyramid which begins to crush the tower under its weight. The tower is reduced to rubble. Henry and the others realize that since Lark was underground in the prison he must be under the rubble. With the help of the people from the orgy pit Lark is rescued. Henry heals the kids and as the town starts to erupt into chaos the group rushes to the Honda Odyssey. Ron grabs one of the five eggs along the way. The lizard man, Cern, whom Darryl accidentally spared joins the group in the van telling Darryl he owes Darryl a Wookie Life Debt.

Sparrow’s eyes suddenly glow with purple and he is taken over by an ominous voice, calling Henry unworthy as a father. As Lark and Sparrow fade out of existence, Sparrow asks if he did good.

### Battle Axe of Hatred

The dads attempt to find Glenn's son Nick. Nick has joined a gang called Watermice, who the dads help steal the Battle Axe of Hatred from a rival gang called the Redbrands. In retaliation the Redbrands challenge the Watermice to a battle of the bands. Nick and Glenn are supposed to play together and the rest of the dads are meant to sabotage the other band by infiltrating, but instead they give the perfect performance. Nick and Glenn escape to Waterdeep to start a drug empire. They also find Paeden. The dads catch up with them, and Glenn gives a weak apology. Nick is taken by the figures in purple robes.

**Battle Axe of Hatred**

After leaving Neverwinter, the group gathers around a campfire. Henry is miserable about having lost his sons. Darryl points out that since they took Lark and Sparrow because they thought Henry wasn’t taking good enough care of them. Glenn tells Henry that he is cool and shouldn’t care what that guy says. Ron tells Henry that it is worse for them and he is sad too for losing his frogs. Darryl calls a "dad huddle" as an excuse to give Henry a hug. He asks if Cern is a dad. Cern reveals the tragic loss of his children to the pyramid spawned from the Bag of Beans, and mentions that he owes a Wookiee Life Debt to Darryl.

The group, during sleep, returns to the scorched wasteland from their previous shared dream. Another man in a purple robe appears, saying that he has take Lark and Sparrow because Henry is a failure as a father. Purple-robed man predicts the ongoing pattern of taking each saved child. Darryl and Henry keep interrupting him and eventually he zips up their mouths.
Next day the dads notice the Odyssey is low on gas, and head to a nearby village to sort it. Glenn texts Nick.

> **Glenn:** *Hey, bro. Where you at?*
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> **Nick:** *who dis?*
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> **Glenn:** *It’s your dad. We’re lookin’ for yah.*
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> **Nick:** *lol*
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In the village, the group finds a two story pile of books. Next to the books is The Library, who at first glance seems like an old man, but crawls up the pile of books like a spider. He deals in knowledge, so the group must trade information for the books they wish to borrow. Henry claims they are from another realm he calls "Ee'Arth." Glenn attempts to bluff for a book on bard tunes, using lyrics from "Wild Wild West" by Will Smith. Failing the bluff, Glenn reveals a band secret about saving songs for an encore to obtain the book. Library mentions, that if they do not return the books in two weeks, he will kill them and bind books in their skin.
The group finds out that to fill the gas tank they must fill it with mucus and then give the car compliments. Darryl, Henry, and Ron fail to provide them. Glenn succeeds by complimenting the van in Japanese, remarking that it is of Japanese make and model.
Finally, the group continues their journey towards Waterdeep. They come to a bridge on which two thugs demand a toll. Glenn receives a text from Nick saying, "*lol i'm watching u*."Bandits emerge from the trees, with one landing in a blade pose on the van's hood. The bandit on the hood is revealed to be Nick.

The dads decide to present themselves as criminals to Nick's associates. Henry grows concerned about Glenn potentially becoming enslaved in Nick's thieves' guild. Ellory, Nick's boss, approaches the group with a request to steal the Battle Axe of Hatred from a rival gang, the Redbrands. Doing this would lift the curse that would kill Nick upon leaving. The Dads embark on a mission to infiltrate the Redbrands' hideout, devising a plan involving the Hat of Vermin-summoned animals and drug-filled bouquets, planning to smoke out the Redbrands with the more unpleasant effects of the drugs. This fails somewhat, and results in an alarm being raised, leading to battle against the Redbrand guards. During the battle Glenn charms one of the guards, Harrelson Ron, coercing him to bring them the coveted Battle Axe.

As the dads return to the Watermice camp, Redbrands arrive and challenge the Watermice to a "Battle of the Bands."

As they prepare for the Battle of the Bands, everyone takes a short rest in the greenroom tent.

Glenn reveals he left Glenn Close Trio after they asked him to leave. He feels that this is his last chance. Darryl and Henry assure Glenn he is the leader of this band. Glenn asks them to sabotage the other band, suggesting that he and Nick will perform together.

Henry suggests they sneak into the band and ruin them from the inside. Darryl holds up the Perfume of Charm. Henry, Darryl, Glenn and Ron discuss how to get the other band's robes. Henry, Darryl and Ron decide to seduce the band. Ron splashes most of the Perfume of Charm onto his face. Darryl insists Henry take the rest of it, but agrees to take it himself in the end.

Darryl struts to the band. And starts hitting on him. Henry joins him and they manage to seduce the basist.

**Henry:** *Okay. Let's— let's— Let's go to that dark corner over there.*

**Darryl:** *Hey you got two other friends that want maybe come and party for a little bit before you guys play? We need three cloaks. I mean we need—*

**Bassist:** *Wait what?*

**Ron:** *We need three blokes!*

They manage to lure three members of the band backstage. Darryl freaks out and escapes. Ron tries to capture him with a lasso. Fails, and freaks out the bassist. Ron then tries to sexily capture the bassist, but instead starts choking himself. Henry tells the bassist that this is a part of an elaborate courting ritual. The final step of this courting ritual is swapping clothes with the other person .

The bassist is down. He and his friends take off their robes and Ron, Darryl and Henry put on the robes. Henry tells him that now they will watch them perform.

**Bassist:** *What you've just described is extremely humiliating. And because I am a bassist...*

**Bassist:** *You've discovered my kink. So yes we will— we will. We consent to remain tied up while you perform for us.*

Final member of the Redbrand band notes this is the third time his bandmates have ditched him to be kinky.

Darryl plays the drums, decently. Henry plays the lute, poorly. And Ron sings the Silent Night in dual harmony, impossibly, giving an unbeatable performance.

Glenn and Nick watch the performance incredulous. They feel like they cannot win and think the Redbrands may kill everyone, so they steal Odyssey-san and flee.

Scam Likely calls Henry and keeps him on hold to help Nick and Glenn get away and escape to Waterdeep.

Darryl is upset. Ron is considers a career as a world famous musician, either alone or in a band. Henry tells him seriously that he is a real dad, and as a real dad he has to put his children first. Ron tearfully leads the group to start chanting Terry. They manage to concince the Redbrands not to slaughter the Watermice. Instead they go after Glenn and Nick.

The other dads show up to see an Unfortunate Foster Children fight begin. Darryl interrupts the fight, but Nick manages to pin Paeden. The dads are furious at Glenn for betting on child fights and stealing the van. Glenn and Nick lie, saying they were simply trying to win back enough money to buy the kids out of slavery and that Glenn had only escaped with Nick to protect him. The other dads do not believe this.

Eventually they come to a shaky truce, agreeing that dads don’t do other dads dirty. After this the booming voice and purple magic take over Nick, berating Glenn for being unable to raise a child. As the voice departs Nick starts to disappear, apologising for not being a good enough son.

### Tower of Terry Arc

The dads discuss what to do next. Glenn texts Nick and finds out he is in Ravenloft.

The dads decide to head to Roqueporte to save Terry Jr. On their way they go on a side adventure when Hardball Cough Drop asks them to assist her with her BDSM dungeon. The dads successfully satisfy her clients needs with the exception of Glenn. They also encounter a merchant called Shinji, who sells them a Ward Cleaver, a Fanny Pack of Holding and a Cassio Watch.

Ron worries that Terry will leave because of something he did, saying that he doesn't want to make any more mistakes. Cern tells him he probably will, but that is just a part of being a dad. Henry adds,

> **Henry:** *Yeah. You know, we all make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes have big consequences, like what happened with our mistake, with Lizardboy Scales McStuffins.*
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Upon finding out the Dads were responsible for the death of his children Cern is incensed and leaves the group without looking back.

The dads head to Roqueporte and find what was previously a idyllic country town to be overrun with dark unnatural spiky vines. Though it is daytime it is dark and foggy, and people walk hunched over and there are no children to be seen.

The dads and Paeden head to the tavern to find out more about what is going on in the town. They talk to the bartender, Tim "The Spoolman" Tailor, who is initially reluctant to talk but admits that a boy matching Terry Jr.'s description came through the town about a week ago, together with the man responsible for the corruption of the land.

The dads attempt to raise the spirits in the tavern, with Darryl helping Tim make better beer, Glenn performing an erotic song, and Ron performing stand up comedy mocking the man in the tower.

Tim reveals that a few years back when Roqueport was still an idyllic farming town, a man came and started paying children to build him a tower. Eventually the children stopped coming back. And when they finally did, they came back wrong.

The conversation is interrupted by a vampiric little girl demanding to know who has been making fun of her master. The dads fight her, but upon finding that she is very strong decide to flee instead.

The dads get to the Honda Odyssey and the girl is unable to get in without being invited. Henry contemplates turning water into holy water. Darryl says he is making light of Darryl's faith. Ron suggests he could do a stand up of a Catholic priest. Darryl thinks that is a great ida. It doesn't work.

Ron accidentally invites the Little Girl in, and the dads flee. Eventually they find shelter in the house of the garden witch Erin O'Neil.

In her house they gaze up at the tower and see Terry Jr. standing side by side with none other than Terry Sr.

The dads wave Terry Sr. over. He flies over from his tower. He tells the dads that he is Terry Jr.'s biological father and that they are very happy. The dads demand to see Terry Jr. and after Henry loses his cool and yells at Terry Sr., Terry Sr. agrees to go get him from the Tower.

While he is gone the dads huddle. Ron notes that he is pretty sure Terry Sr. is supposed to be dead. From this ensues panic, as the dads realise they may be dead. Ron calls his wife Samantha to ask her about Terry Sr. She confirms that Terry Sr. is dead and that she loves Ron very much.

The dads discuss possibilities for how to learn more about vampires, with options like borrowing another book from The Library, checking out Wikipedia, or asking Erin O'Neil, who mentions she isn't really a monster kind of witch or a fighting kind of witch, she just wants to retake Roqueporte for the trees. In the end Ron calls Beth May for advice on vampires. She lists the possible weaknesses of sunlight, stake to the heart, holy water and decapitation. Henry suggests that Ron should open have a heart-to-heart with Terry Jr.

Terry Sr. brings Terry Jr. over. Terry Jr. is very annoyed that Ron came and wishes he would just leave. Ron holds a heartfelt speech about what Terry Jr. means to him.

**Ron:** *What I want to say to you, Terry... Jr., not Terry Sr., is that when I... see you, I know that you don't need me to be your stepfather, but it's something that I would like to do, because... I love you, and because you're so good without me that I'm very proud of you.*

Terry listens to this, and seems to relent and joins the dads and Erin O'Neil inside the cabin. Then he invites Terry Sr. into the building.

**Terry Jr.:** *And I appreciate that, a lot. But I'm happy now... and you're going to take that away from me... and I won't let you do that. So I mean this, when I say this, from the bottom of my heart: Terry Sr., I invite you into this building.*

The dads engage Terry Sr. in a fight. The dads are all varying degrees of angry, except Glenn who is freaking out about a vampire that is obviously stronger than them. Henry is furious and shocked that Terry Jr. would betray Ron despite Ron being sincere.

Against all odds, they manage to force Terry Sr.'s head into the Fanny Pack of Holding. They destroy the Fanny Pack, sending Terry Sr. head to the Astral Plane, to suffer beyond the laws of physics.

Terry Jr. is crushed by this.

> **Terry Jr.:** *Dad no, not again! I can't go through this again!*
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> **Ron:** *Who's your daddy now?*
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After the dads defeat Terry Sr., Terry Jr. smashes an orb the ground and turns into mist and flees to the tower.

Henry calls Mercedes Oak-Garcia and tells him he is stuck in another world. He then asks her to get together their Wiccan friends and witches to see if they can make a portal.

Ron is angry that Terry Jr. is angry at him and doesn't want him as a father. Erin O'Neil sees her chance to take over the town has finally come, and starts rousing her trees. Darryl thinks she is ridiculous, because trees cannot really be "her children". He strikes a tree with his axe, leading to Erin and the trees starting to attack. The dads flee to the van. Glenn steals one of the books Erin had borrowed from The Library. They grab the Vampire Girl and flee to the tower.

They wake up the girl, who is no longer a vampire spawn. She introduces herself as Clementine Crimadinick, and tells the dads that there are more children at the basement of the tower. The dads find the children and free them. They also find three chests, two of which contain mimics. Ron throws frogs at the chests to discover which chest is a real chest, and the dads find The Belt.

The dads then make their way upwards towards Terry Jr. and discover he is attempting to create a portal to the Astral Plane.

The dads decide to make their way up the Tower. They leave Paeden to take care of the other children. They find a pit smelling of raw meat next to a button. Ron presses the button, resulting in seven clay Rons emerging. They start to fight the dads, but Ron manages to intimidate them back into the vat with the booming voice of Willy Stampler. They then proceed into a room with a large gothic chair and a smaller gaming chair. Darryl sits in the gaming chair, and a needle comes out of it and sucks out the most precious memory he has with his father. It squirts out of the gothic chair as there is no one for the memory to be injected to. Henry finds a button and presses it, which produces magically formed food and a small shelf of 10 books. The row of books is notably missing a book on the astral plane. It also has a book on how to feed on a son's love for his father for sustenance.

The dads proceed, avoid a few traps, Darryl cleans up Terry Sr.'s porn room and Ron calls Beth May for advice on a French speaking door, and with her help and asking Siri they get through and come to a bedroom. The bedroom houses a normal bed and a coffin. Underneath the coffin they find the body of the real Terry Sr.

They finally come to Terry Jr., who is attempting to open a portal to the Astral Plane. Terry demands Ron to leave, but Ron tells him he loves Terry too much to do so. The dads manage to convince Terry that Terry Sr. was a vampire and responsible for kidnapping children and the dark magic of the town, and that the man they killed wasn't the real Terry Sr. Terry Jr. responds that he always knew this.

Ron tells Terry about how his love was never proud of him. That sometimes family isn't just your father, but it is who loves you, and Ron does love Terry.

Terry starts sobbing. Ron hugs him. Terry apologizes as the man in purple takes him, calling Ron's and Terry's moment bullshit, which angers Henry greatly.

Erin O'Neil appears at the Tower after Terry Jr. has been taken. The dads and Erin almost get into a fight, but eventually manage to resolve things peacefully and Erin agrees not to take over the town.

The dads then debate what to do about Paeden as adventuring is dangerous. Darryl maintains that they should find him a home, while Glenn wants to take him with them. Eventually they decide to find him a home and do, with Walter the Immoral.

They fall asleep and discover that instead of one figure in a purple cloak there are three.

## Relationships

### Mercedes Oak-Garcia

Henry and Mercedes have an open marriage and a very trusting relationship.

## Dad Facts

* Ep1: Came prepared with a big pack of condoms, for the sole use of holding up to 10 gallons of water a piece
* Ep2: Has condoms on his fingers to prevent plants coming out of them.
* Ep3: His favorite TV show is Bones.
* Ep4: He is the lead frontman of Thorn Whip.
* Ep5: Has an Ani DiFranco CD stuck in his Prius.
* Ep6: Bought his first pair of Birkenstocks when he was 9.
* Ep7: Performs geology themed rap songs at the children’s science museum in San Dimas.
* Ep8: Henry’s father once spanked one of the twins, but won’t tell Henry which one.
* Ep9: His favorite drink is a cold glass of water.
* Ep10: His second-favorite drink is a room temperature glass of water.
* Ep11: Henry is able to read lips. (Observant feat)
* Ep12: For about 20 years, he was a hardcore Ralph Nader supporter.
* Ep13: Henry had a retainer that he swallowed while in bear form.
* Ep14: His real favorite TV show is the sunrise.
* Ep15: Continuing the trend due to being called out, his second favorite TV show is the sunset. Bones is number three.
* Ep16: He was born on May 23 and is a Gemini.
* Ep17: The Oak Family has 3 pets: a goat named Earth, a bird named Cloud, and a dog named Laserwolf Fartblaster (named by the twins).
* Ep18: Henry’s favorite radio station is the wind, despite Mercedes hosting a radio show.
* Ep19: His one mentalism magic trick is “I know where you got your shoes… you got ‘em on your feet!”
* Ep20: Henry and Mercedes go all out on a Halloween haunted house and they pass out healthy treats.
* Ep21: Henry doesn’t wash his hands… or wipe.
* Ep22: He considers himself the TMNT Donatello and the S&TC Charlotte.
* Ep23: His favorite book is trees. He also sunbathes his butthole.
* Ep24: Henry’s favorite child is Beanie, the parrot.
* Ep25: Henry’s favorite musical is Cats… just the stray cats outside though, not the one by Andrew Lloyd Webber.
* Ep26: He belongs to the lovely organization the vicious skiers. (The rest of the cast came up with this fact.)
* Ep27: Henry and Mercedes host a game of Oaks and Ogres each game night.
* Ep28: Everything he cooks is “a la Henry.”
* Ep29: He has passed the retainer from Ep13’s Dad Fact.
* Ep30: His biggest pet peeve is that when he Googles “fossils,” he only gets results about the watch.
* Ep31: His favorite porn is world peace.
* Ep32: Henry’s favorite ice cream flavor is ice.
* Ep33: The last time he did drugs was in his 20s. This resulted in him eventually meeting his wife, Mercedes Garcia.
* Ep34: Henry’s favorite pizza topping is pineapple.
* Ep35: He learned how to drive at 27.
* Ep36: He just washed his hair for the first time in the Forgotten Realms. It is much more blonde and very fluffy.
* Ep37: Henry has a tramp-stamp of the Mercedes-Benz logo, not a peace sign.
* Ep38: Henry makes his own jam.
* Ep39: He is originally from the Forgotten Realms.
* Ep40: Henry hates horses because he was bullied by a kid named Horse-ey Oak.
* Ep41:He loves the underground indie rap scene and his favorite Soundcloud artist is a thunderstorm.
* Ep42: He’s allergic to bad vibes.
* Ep43: His favorite show is actually Cheers and his favorite drink is orange juice, specifically after brushing his teeth.
* Ep44: His favorite fruit is the minions from Despicable Me because they’re bananas!
* Ep45: Henry wore Vibram skeleton toe sandal shoes for 6 months but switched back to Birks after learning they were bad for your feet.
* Ep46: Henry has been in a courtroom before for a dispute over a graphic mural on the side of their house of Mother Earth giving birth to the world.
* Ep47: He has never thrown a t-shirt out.
* Ep48: His favorite movie is the Blair Witch Project, as he thinks it’s a hiking movie.
* Ep49: The Oak family does a “New Years You’re Darn Tootin’” in which they all write something nice about themselves to read when they’re upset.
* Ep50: On Sliders night with Mercedes, Henry goes to the kitchen to make sliders and when he returns, Doctor Who is on. Henry thinks Sliders and Doctor Who are the same show.
* Ep51: Henry fucks. Extremely well.
* Ep52: His favorite sex position is going down on someone, not mutual respect.
* Ep53: The name of the monster is actually Frankenstein.
* Ep54: His second favorite book is any book about trees.
* Ep55: Henry’s first relationship was with Goose-ey Oak, Horse-ey’s younger bard brother.
* Ep56: Henry’s favorite car is walking. (This fact comes from Matt.)
* Ep57: He unironically likes the smell of his own farts. (This fact comes from Jimmy.)
* Ep58: His first job was a canvasser for an organization attempting to save the Amazon rainforest called Amazon Prime, but they got sued.
* Ep59: Hildy Russett, his grandmother, saved the life of a forest spirit who became indebted to her and was passed down to Henry. This boon was used when potty-training Lark and Sparrow.
* Ep60: Henry’s favorite color is the rainbow!
* Ep61: Henry’s favorite person is Alma… “all-my” favorite sentient beings in the
* universe.
* Ep62: The twins had a sugar rush and fell into a sugar crash of eldritch magnitude, astrally projecting them into the Forgotten Realms. Barry Oak spanked one of the boys after a second wind. (This was a retcon of Henry’s Ep8 Dad Fact)
* Ep63: Henry’s favorite TikTok is the “tick talk” he delivered at his geology nature walk.
* Ep64: He knows Birkenstocks aren’t vegan.
* Ep65: He has never broken a bone.
* Ep66: The first and only time Henry has ever done a “bang bang” two meals back to back was once on his anniversary when he ate a whole bunch of wild rice right before his dinner with Mercedes
* Ep67: Henry regrets his last conversation with Glenn.
* Ep68: Henry thinks he’s the worst dad.

## Trivia

* Henry and Mercedes have orgies
* Henry has a biodiesel Subaru with a "Coexist"-bumper sticker.
* Henry has recorded and released one EP, titled "Rocks Rock."