Squiddy Fairground

## Transcript

(Scene: Sandy's Treedome, Mr. Krabs is sitting at a picnic table with Gary. Sandy enters)

Mr. Krabs: Everything good?

Sandy: I guess.

Mr. Krabs: (Jumps up) Woohoo- (freezes in mid-air)

Sandy: (sobs) Just that there's no power! (cries)

Mr. Krabs: (cries and falls to floor) SPONGEBOB! COME BACK! (camera zooms out as the the scene cuts to Monopolis)

Squidward: I own every building on the board! Sweet!

SpongeBob: Actually you don't own my and Patrick's apartment block. (camera pans to a hotel then zooms back)

Squidward: How can you both own something?

Patrick: We don't, Mr. Monopoly let us have rooms!

Squidward: WHAT?

Mr. Monopoly: I would've let you but by that time you already had got yourself a place!

Squidward: (sighs) Atleast I can still buy that old sweet shop.

Mr. Monopoly: That'll be two-hundred bucks.

Squidward: Let me have a look. (shuffles through left pocket) Wait- I'll check gold ol' righty! (shuffles through right pocket) Er..... I'm broke?

Mr. Monopoly: Lol!

Squidward: What's so funny!? (SpongeBob and Patrick laugh)

Mr. Monopoly: YOU LOSE!

Squidward: Does that mean I have to leave?!

SpongeBob: (giggles) No, you have to go to jail!

Squidward: WHAT?

Mr. Monopoly: Not exactly, (they stop laughing) there's a playground just down the road. You go up the ladder, and down the snake. You could work there.

Squidward: But where would I sleep?

SpongeBob: I've got a king size bed!

Squidward: Oh no. (faints)

SpongeBob: Does anyone have CPR in their contacts list?

Mr. Monopoly: Maybe we should have a scone.

(scene cuts to a playground, Squidward is outside with balloons)

Bill: Hey, who are you?

Squidward: Comedic the Sad Clown. (tear sheds)

Sally: Don't worry, maybe this board isn't right for you.

Squidward: This board?

Bill: Yes, you go up the ladder and down the snake.

Squidward: But I only work here.

Sally: Oh, (takes a balloon and walks off with Bill)

Squidward: (sigh)

(Scene cuts outside The Krusty Krab, it is covered in a metal blanket)

Mr. Krabs: We need better security.

Sandy: I guess but we have to bring SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward back!

Mr. Krabs: Yeah. But we can't just wave a magic wand and say "Bring Scones!" (Scones fall from the sky)

Sandy: Hey....

(scene cuts back outside the playground)

Bill: Hey Comedic! How much is an ice cream?

Squidward: I dunno, I just give out balloons!

(camera pans over to Patrick who is walking on with novelty glasses)

Squidward: Patrick?

Patrick: I'm not Patrick, I'm Scone.

Squidward: Patrick, that's a food.

Patrick: Oh right. Anyway, you seemed depre- depr- (he gets booted over to a bush)

SpongeBob: Well, that didn't go well.

(scene: SpongeBob's apartment room)

SpongeBob: (gets into bed) So, how was your first day of work?

Squidward: It was fine I guess.

SpongeBob: Are you getting payed to say that?

Squidward: No, you said- I forgot, it's first day of school.

SpongeBob: (coughs) So, how was your- (Squidward puts his hand over his mouth)

Squidward: Zip it, shrimp head. (gets into bed) Can't wait till pay day. Lights! (screen goes black, scene cuts outside the playground)

Sally: Hello, Comedic.

Bill: Tell us a joke!

Sally: Comedic?

Bill: Comedic? COMEDIC!

Squidward: Geez......

Sally: Comedic?

(Scene: outside The Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: You sure about this?

Sandy: Nope.

Mr. Krabs: (sighs) BRING SPONGEBOB! (Margaret and Harold fall from the sky)

Sandy: Knew it. Scones?

(Scene cuts back to the playground, Squidward walks on with scratches on his face)

Patrick: Squidward.

Squidward: No Patrick. (walks inside the gate)

Patrick: Where are you going?

Squidward: To square one hundred.

Patrick: Why?

Squidward: Pay day is not until next week and I'm not sleeping with SpongeBob again!

Patrick: Oh. So what does that have to do with square 100?

Squidward: Square 100 means I win the game, if I win I'll be a millionaire! They pay you if you win, you know Patrick.

Patrick: I'm not Patrick, (puts on novelty glasses) I'm scone.

Mr. Monopoly: Patrick, where's Squidward going?

Patrick: Square 100.

Mr. Monopoly: For crying out loud! (his cane turns into a microphone) NO EMPLOYEES ON THE PLAY FIELD! I REPEAT, NO EMPLOYEES ON THE PLAY FIELD! (his cane returns back to normal)

Squidward: (leaves plaground) I'll just go and kill myself then.

Mr. Monopoly: What? Just take the money will ya! (his cane turns into a gun)