Girlfriend from another school

The **Girlfriend from another school** is a mythical fantasy creature which has been proven to **not exist,** like Bigfoot, unicorns, Santa Claus and the *Queen of England*.

## Girlfriend from another school

### Occupation

Being an active part of my mate Eli's crippling scizophrenia

## Biographical information

### Marital status

Supposedly the girlfriend of my mate Eli...he claims

### Place of birth

Everywhere and nowhere as she is nowhere ever

## Physical description

### Species

Well I would say be human but to be fair...

### Weight

0kg (she used Lite 'n' Easy!!!!!!!!! He swears that's why!!!!!!)

## Eli

My mate Eli, who is a good bloke by the way, hasn't been lucky in love. So one time The Boys™ and I were chatting about something completely unrelated, like hunting deers or thermonuclear war or something like that, when suddenly, Eli pipes up out of the blue and says,

> Hey guys, did I tell you guys about my girlfriend from another school?
>
>

So everyone was like, "Nah," because before that Eli had been so shy that nobody really knew the poor fella too much and nobody had yet realised he was a compulsive liar. So Eli started talking about his girlfriend from another school, and talking very briefly and non-descriptively about her and the things that him and her did, when suddenly, my man Pat asks him,

> So, what's this chick's name?
>
>

But that was clearly a bad thing to ask. Eli's face went red and the guy started to freak internally.

> Her name is, uhhhh....you know, what's it called? You know, umm, err, well, we haven't really-technically, I haven't really, you know, I'll getcha the, uhh, well, I'll tell you later, dude.
>
>

And then the same dude from before asked Eli what school this chick did go to, to which replied, "I really dunno man, umm, think it's just one of the other Christian schools from around here, yanno?"

That made us all suspicious, but everyone was still happy that this guy had finally found someone, or so we thought.

We kept asking to see photos of this chick, but never saw a thing. People started to wonder if she was even real, or perhaps if she was just a figment of his imagination. Or even worse: if Eli had just made her up, to try and seem cool to the group.

Soon, Eli stopped just telling us things about his girlfriend, and got pretty tight-lipped after telling some stories that weren't adding up. He was contradicting himself almost constantly when talking about her, and now only used her to try and brag and seem cool to not only people in the group, but some other people from his classes. Soon, he would brag about her constantly, while still remaining very tight-lipped about any details pertaining to her, while still refusing to bring her over or even show a picture of her.

Then, he would just refer to her as simply 'my girlfriend from another school'. And so my concerned mate talked to some other people who claimed that a friend claim to have a girlfriend from another school, and the results were very interesting.

He talked to Dr. Alfred Yankovic from the University of Lynwood on the situation. Dr. Yankovic is actually the Chief Professor Emeritus of Human and Behavioural Psychology at LynU, and he said this:

> This is often an extremely difficult situation, which I like to call the 'Imaginary Girlfriend Paradox', in which an individual becomes so desperate for social credit that he likes to create an imaginary thing of value he does not have: in this case, a girlfriend. He seems proud of this a first, but refuses to prove her existence or even offer a name: just calling her 'my girlfriend from another school'.
>
>

> He often then refuses to prove her existence or even give a name, simply just referring to her as 'oh, my girlfriend from another school'. Also, while this usually sees a boy claim he has a girlfriend from another school, it sometimes happens with girls claiming to have a boyfriend from another school, or even rarer yet in homosexuals of either gender.
>
>

## Sponsor

I would like to thank the state of Tennessee for sponsoring this article. I actually went to Tennessee once way back when: for my honeymoon, back in '82. We ended up breaking up because I loved Tennessee, while my fiancee hated it. That is why I decided to stay here in Tennessee for the next twenty seven and a half years ater m painful rejection, and I have~~n't~~ been happier since!

So yeah. Illegally cross the North Carolina-Tennessee border into Tennessee for 40% off a Halloween mask from there.

Okay, see ya now.

(Wow, I can't believe that the infobox got al the way down to the very bottom of the article)