All Hail the Federated Alliance!

## Summary

The crew encounters some resistance to the Federated Alliance's message of peace. There is an altercation. Pleck shoots someone, and that's all we really need to say about it. Bargie meets a fan.

## Opening Crawl Narration

The period of civil war has ended. In the aftermath of the Battle of Sistoo the rebels have overthrown the evil galactic monarchy and in its place established the just and benevolent Federated Alliance. It’s definitely an improvement and totally not a lateral move. Now, to restore diplomatic relations between systems, the Federated Alliance has deployed teams of ambassadors throughout the galaxy to bring a message of peace to every inhabited world. The pay is six Kroons per hour. Which seems sort of low, all things considered. In the farthest reaches of the Tremillion Sector, a young farm boy named Pleck Decksetter embarks with his crew on his first assignment: a daring journey to the remote and mysterious Zyxx Quadrant. Aboard the starship, The Bargarean Jade they set out to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is their mission: a mission to Zyxx!

## Plot

Pleck gives an 'inspiring' speech to the people of Flurp, hampered by the fact he has misplaced his cue cards. The Grand Kula (leader) is unimpressed. They ask for one good reason not to shoot Pleck where he stands. Pleck asks Dar to hand over their ambassadorial gift, a Federated Alliance koozie. They are fired upon and flee back to Bargie.

Back on Bargie they get a call from Nermut Bundaloy who has called to discipline them. When Pleck was pushing his way out of the Grand Kula's palace he managed to misfire an energy rifle and shoot Dar. Pleck rates his mission success as a "three or a four." C-53 admonished Pleck for not having read his preparatory report, as Pleck should have challenged the Grand Kula to single combat to earn his success. Pleck protests that there is no way of knowing if it was him who shot Dar, C-53 counters this by playing a recording of the event. Dar petitions to be allowed a gun on missions so that they can kill Pleck next time he shoots them. Pleck suggests that they could hide the gun in their flap, which turn out to be Dar's genitalia. Nermut gets annoyed with C-53 for always referring to him as "junior" missions operations manager. C-53 reveals that he is constantly streaming everything he sees to Federated Alliance Council Compound No.5 and is unable to stop. Bargie states her reason for leaving slowly was because she was on her break, texting Henry Buckalor. Nermut tells her that ships don't get breaks. Pleck admits that the mission failure was all his fault.

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Nermut calls the crew back to tell them he has put the paperwork in and that their mission isn't technically the worst mission ever logged. The worst mission is when a ship exploded in the hanger. Bargie interrupts to inform them that there is another life form aboard the ship, its the daughter of the Grand Kula (the Kulata). She reveals that the only reason she's onboard is because she's a fan of Bargie (especially the movie *Ship, Please*). Bargie ejects gas inside the ship onto the kulata to celebrate. Kulata is happy to meet Bargie but reveals that the Grand Kula will kill them all on her return. C-53 creates a zone of silence around the Kulata so that Nermut can suggest they eject her in to space, allowable because they don't technically know if her species can survive in space or not. They temporarily throw her out, but bring her back when Pleck protests. Pleck argues that he's not pink, despite everyone insisting he is. Bargie argues with the Kulata about the quality of her movie *Ship, Please 2*, then ejects her out into space so that she can "become a space ship." Nermut stresses about what form's he'll have to fill out until C-53 points out that since the Kulata left the ship of her own free will he will not have to fill in any. Bargie reveals that this is not the first time she's ejected someone into space, it was the log line of her third movie.

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Nermut calls back to inform them that they are suspended without pay until further notice then hangs up. He calls back to tell them the suspension is lifted, the suspensions are of arbitrary length controlled by a randomizer. Bargie dumps some gas.

## Firsts of note

* we learn the crew carries no weapons
* Dar states their full name
* Bargie maintains her slim figure by regularly dumping gas

## Quotes

* "Ambassador Decksetter, I gave you a file to read." - C-53
* "Bargarean Jade. The ship. Of stars. Of memories. Of fame. Once used to be the most thriving ship in all of the galaxy. But now just a broken down out and about ship taking these misfit losers to who knows where. Do you know the people who used to be inside of me?" - Bargie, lost in expositon
* "Wow. Look at that frozen Kulata." - Dar

## Trivia

* This episode has an extended opening narration.
* Ambassadors get paid 6 Kroon per hour.
* It is established that on Dar's body flaps are for items going in, chutes are for those going out.
* There are 3 classifications of Missions Operations Manager; Junior Missions Operations Manager, Missions Operations Manager, and Senior Missions Operations Manager.
* Bargie names celebrities who used to be on her: Lacraine Lacrosse, Jacob Moran, and Jim Jin Narar (who died aboard her).
* Juck is used for the first time in a full episdode by the Kulata.
* Named Bargie film: *Ship, Please*; *Ship, Please 2*.
* The battle in which the Federated Alliance beat the Monarchy is the Battle of Sistoo.
* The Kulata's species has 3 hearts
* Zistarkatarin is a season
* The Kulata is a reference to a Dunkin' Donut's drink, the Coolatta.

## Credits

### **Voice actors**

C-53 - Jeremy Bent

Pleck Decksetter - Alden Ford

Dar - Allie Kokesh

Nermut Bundaloy - Seth Lind

Grand Kula - Winston Noel

Grand Kulata - Winston Noel

Bargarean Jade - Moujan Zolfaghari

### **Production**

Edited - Alden Ford

Recorded - Braund Studios by Shane O'Connell

Sound Design and Mix - Shane O'Connell

Music - Brendan Ryan

Opening Crawl Narration - Jeremy Crutchley

Ship Design - Eric Geusz