"Tears to Shed"/Barkis the groom/Apology

This is how "Tears to Shed", Barkis the groom, and Apology goes in Twilight Sparkle Meets the Corpse Bride.

**Maggot:**

What does that wispy little brat have that you don't have double?

**Black Widow:**

She can't hold a candle to the beauty of your smile

**Emily:**

How about a pulse?

**Maggot:**

Overrated by a mile

**Black Widow:**

Overvalued

**Maggot:**

Overblown

**Both:**

If he only knew the you that we know.

**Emily:**

(sigh)

**Black Widow:**

And that silly little creature isn't wearing his ring

**Maggot:**

And she doesn't play piano

**Both:**

Or dance

**Maggot:**

Or sing

**Both:**

No, she doesn't compare

**Emily:**

But she still breathes air

**Black Widow:**

Who cares?

**Maggot:**

Unimportant

**Black Widow:**

Overrated

**Maggot:**

Overblown

**Both:**

If only he could see

How special you can be

If he only knew the you that we know

**Emily:**

If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain

If you cut me with a knife it's still the same

And I know her heart is beating

And I know that I am dead

Yet the pain here that I feel

Try and tell me it's not real

For it seems that I still have a tear to shed

**Maggot:**

The sole redeeming feature

From that little creature

Is that she's alive

**Black Widow:**

Overrated

**Maggot:**

Overblown

**Black Widow:**

Everybody knows that's just a temporary state

Which is cured very quickly when we meet our fate

**Maggot:**

Who cares?

**Black Widow:**

Unimportant

**Maggot:**

Overrated

**Black Widow:**

Overblown

**Both:**

If only he could see

How special you can be

If he only knew the you that we know

**Emily:**

If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain

In the ice or in the sun it's all the same

Yet I feel my heart is aching

Though it doesn't beat, it's breaking

And the pain here that I feel

Try and tell me it's not real

I know that I am dead

Yet it seems that I still have some tears to shed

[A tear falls from Emily's eye as Maggot and Black Widow leave]

[Back in the Land of the Living, Victoria attempts to convince her mother]

Victoria Everglot: It's true, Mother! Victor is married to a dead woman! I saw her, a corpse, standing right here with Victor!

Maudeline Everglot: Victor was in your room?

Victoria Everglot: I have to help him.

Maudeline Everglot: The scandal!

Hildegarde: Come sit in your chair, dearie. You're shaking like a leaf. Let Hilde fetch you a blanket.

Maudeline Everglot: Fetch her a straightjacket! She's completely mad! [walks off] Come, Hildegarde.

[They walk out as Maudeline locks the door as Victoria opens the door and gets her coat]

[But she hangs on]

Maudeline Everglot: [offscreen] Finis, come to bed at once!

[Finis walks off as Victoria lands as she approaches the church and knocks on the door]

Pastor Galswells: What in heaven's name? Who could that be at this hour?

[He opens the door]

Pastor Galswells: Miss Everglot. What are you doing here? You should be at home, prostrate with grief.

Victoria Everglot: Pastor Galswells, I have to ask you something.

Pastor Galswells: This is most irregular.

Victoria Everglot: Please, I beg of you. [enters the church] You are the only one in the village who knows what lies beyond the grave.

Pastor Galswells: A grim topic for a bride-to-be.

Victoria Everglot: It is a bride I fear, which is why I must know. Can the living marry the dead?

[Galswells is shocked as lightning strikes]

Pastor Galswells: What on earth are you speaking about?

Victoria Everglot: Please, it's Victor! He's married to a corpse. He has a Corpse Bride! There must be some way to undo what has been done.

Pastor Galswells: I believe I know the thing to do. Come with me.

[He puts out the flame as he arrives at the Everglots']

Maudeline Everglot: Victoria? Where are your corsets?

Pastor Galswells: She's speaking in tongues. Of unholy alliances. Her mind has come undone, I fear.

Victoria Everglot: It's not true! Let me go! Let me go!

Maudeline Everglot: Thank you, Pastor Galswells. Thank you so very much. [to Emil and Hildegarde] Take her to her room!

[Emil and Hildegarde grab her arms]

Victoria Everglot: No, I'm telling the truth. Victor needs my help. Hildegarde, you believe me, don't you? [to her parents] Mother, Father, please.

Maudeline Everglot: Seal the doors and bar the windows. See to it that she doesn't escape again.

Victoria Everglot: He needs our help! Let me go, let me go!

[Maudeline facepalms as Pythor overhears behind their door]

Maudeline Everglot: Will the mortification never cease? It will be years before we can show ourselves in public again. What shall we do?

Finis Everglot: We shall continue as planned, with or without Vincent.

Maudeline Everglot: Victor.

Finis Everglot: Whatever.

[Pythor appears]

Pythor: I dislike the idea of that boy and Victoria. Although, I think Barkis would be a much better groom. If he had a wife like your daughter, he could shower you with riches fitting with royalty.

Maudeline Everglot: His lady wife is a most fortunate woman.

Pythor: Alas, he's not married. He was betrothed some years ago, but tragedy snatched his young bride away, and with loss and guilt, poorness counts for naught.

[Finis and Maudeline get an idea. Elsewhere, Victoria tries cracking her door when it opens and she hides the stick]

Finis Everglot: Marvelous news, Victoria, there'll be a wedding after all.

Victoria Everglot: You found him?

Maudeline Everglot: Make haste, my dear, our relatives will be arriving here shortly, we will have to make you presentable for Lord Barkis.

[Victoria gasps as she drops the stick]

Victoria Everglot: Lord Barkis?

Maudeline Everglot: He will make a fine husband.

Finis Everglot: Aye. A fortuitous turn of events indeed.

Maudeline Everglot: A far better prospect this time.

Victoria Everglot: But I do not love him. You cannot make me do this.

Finis Everglot: We must.

Victoria Everglot: Please, I beg of you. There must be another way.

Finis Everglot: Without your marriage to Lord Barkis, we will be put out on the streets. We are desolate.

Victoria Everglot: But Victor--

Maudeline Everglot: Victor Van Dort is gone, child.

Finis Everglot: You shall marry Lord Barkis tomorrow.

[They walk outside their daughter's room]

Finis and Maudeline Everglot: According to plan!

[Finis slams the door as he and Maudeline walk away]

[Pythor enters and bows down]

Pythor: It worked, my Lord. They didn't suspect a thing.

The Overlord: Good. I wish for an audience with Barkis.

[Outside, the carriage shows a picture of Victor]

Nell Van Dort: [offscreen] Oh, it's almost dawn! Where could he be?!

Town crier: Victor Van Dort elopes with corpse! Our broken bride to wed wealthy newcomer!

Nell Van Dort: Wealthy newcomer? It cannot be!

William Van Dort: Did he say corpse?

Nell Van Dort: Oh, don't be ridiculous. What corpse would marry our Victor? [hears Mayhew coughing] Oh, Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing!

[Mayhew continues coughing until his body collapses]

Nell Van Dort: Mayhew, are you trying to kill us? I think he's trying to kill us.

[We then see Umarak and the Mane Five as they have a private conversation so Umarak couldn't hear them]

Umarak: So much for that coachman.

Rainbow Dash: [softly] I don't see why we should trust him.

Rarity: [softly] The only reason he's here is to reunite with his bride.

Rainbow Dash: [softly] Yeah, after trying to destroy us a hundred times.

Applejack: [softly] Come on, RD, why can't you give him a chance like the rest of us?

Pinkie Pie: [softly] There's something going on here. He said he wants a happily ever after.

Fluttershy: We need to get him across the bridge and into the town, but under the radar.

[They agree as Umarak still has memories of Emily]

Applejack: Are you going to murder Emily's killer when we find him?

Umarak: Yes. I'd rather not talk about it.

Rainbow Dash: Our purpose is to spread harmony and peace.

Umarak: Don't say anything about peace.

Rarity: Do you want to terminate the killer?

Umarak: Just stop!

Fluttershy: Will avenging Emily improve your emotional state?

Umarak: Yes! No! I don't know! Just! Stop! Talking!

Rarity: Is this what Emily wanted?

Umarak: It doesn't matter!

Pinkie Pie: Emily would've wanted you to...

Umarak: Emily's dead because of me! [slams his fists on a table]

[But he soon realizes that his hatred has gone too far]

Umarak: You're right. Emily meant the world to me, but I doubt she'd want me living one second with revenge in my heart.

Rarity: Or blaming yourself.

Umarak: No, but I shouldn't mope when our peoples are scattered like stars in the galaxy. After all, without friendship, what are you? What do you stand for? What do you have?

Pinkie Pie: Nothing.

[We then cut to Barkis and the Overlord]

The Overlord: You have done well. If all goes according to plan, you will finally have your reward.

[Barkis smirks]

[Back in the Land of the Dead, Scraps leads Victor and the princesses to Bonejangles' club with Emily's blue roses]

[They take the roses and find Emily playing the piano]

Victor Van Dort: I... think you dropped this.

[Emily still plays some notes as Cadance regrets what she had said to her]

Princess Cadance: [sighs] Listen, I know it was wrong to lie to you, but saying those things wasn't cool. I'm sorry.

Victor Van Dort: I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry we lied to you about wanting to see my parents. It's just this whole day hasn't gone quite, well according to plan.

[He sits down and plays some notes]

[Emily glares at him as she plays some more as Victor plays along]

[Emily starts playing with him as her hand jumps off]

Emily: [gasps]

[Her hand plays a few notes and jumps on Luna's horn]

Emily: [giggles] Pardon my enthusiasm.

Princess Luna: We like your enthusiasm. [places her hand back]

[They hear the bell ringing]

Mrs. Plum: New arrival! New arrival!

Corpse: Lights up!

Paul: Hurry up, boys! Bonjour. Drinks for everyone. [to Twilight] Another pint, miss?

Twilight Sparkle: Four, please.

Paul: [whistles]

[The bugs deliver four pints, but Paul is knocked down]

Paul: It is impossible to get good help anymore.

Mrs. Plum: Welcoming committee, coming through! Coming through! My name's Plum. Miss Plum.

[Twilight approaches Mayhew and turns him around]

Twilight Sparkle: Ugh. You know, Mayhew, I liked you better when you were coughing.

Mayhew: Oh, yeah. Actually, though, I feel great.

Paul: Hurry up, boys! Can you not see the gentleman is famished?

[Mayhew gets his pint and drinks it]

Princess Celestia: Mayhew, we have to get back. Our friends must be worried sick. How are they?

Mayhew: Well, they're still wondering where you slipped off to. Oh, and Miss Victoria...

Victor Van Dort: Yes, yes, how is she?

Mayhew: Well, she's getting married this evening.

Princess Luna: What? Married to who?

Mayhew: Some newcomer, Lord Somebody-or-Other.

Victor Van Dort: But that's impossible.

Mayhew: Yeah, with you gone and all... I guess they didn't wanna waste the cake.

Victor Van Dort: [sighs] But how could she?

Skeleton: Women, you can't live with them. You can't live with-- [hiccups]

[He collapses into tiny little pieces]

Mayhew: Time to, uh, pick up the pieces and, you know, move on, I suppose.

Skeleton: Oy! Speaking of picking up the pieces...

[But Victor walks away without saying a word]

Emily: Victor? Where are you going?

Twilight Sparkle: At least this night couldn't get any worst.

Mayhew: Like your friends still above helping a horned hunter?

Princess Cadance: [gasps] Hold on, Mayhew. Stop. Rewind. Our friends above are helping Umarak?

[Emily overhears this]

Emily: Umarak?

Princess Luna: Why are they helping him?

Mayhem: Something about reuniting with his bride.

Princess Celestia: [sighs] But how could they?

Mayhew: Yeah, with you gone too long, I guess they didn't wanna wait any longer.

Skeleton: Oy! You get the news about the robot newcomer?

Princess Luna: Cryptor?

Princess Cadance: He gave us a real assist with Krux and Acronix.

Princess Celestia: So maybe he's on our side now.

Emily: Umarak.

Princess Celestia: And Cryptor. How do you know about Umarak?

Emily: When I first met him, he was poor, but perfect. His eyes were like a sea after a storm.

Twilight Sparkle: His eyes are red.

Emily: Well, like a red sea after the storm. Anyway, despite his family's incomes, I never stopped loving him.

Princess Cadance: [spit take on a skeleton] What?! You loved him?!

Emily: Yes.

Princess Luna: Now that's settled, should we trust Cryptor?

Twilight Sparkle: We'll need proof first.