A Pig with a Ladder

Once Lilo had found her way out of the woods, she saw a little white cottage with a red-shingled roof, a white brick chimney, blue window shutters, and a small blue front door. In front of the house was a gate that matched the window shutters and door, which was accompanied by a small white brick wall and a long white fence that surrounded the house.

"I wonder who lives here?" she said, as she walked over to the gate. She stood there as she then heard a familiar voice calling out from above an open window.

"Billie-Jean! Where is that girl? Where did she put them? Billie-Jean! Billie-Jean!"

"The duck!" Lilo exclaimed, her face lightening up as she saw Daffy from the window. Just as she opened the gate and headed toward the front porch, Daffy closed the window shutters and opened the front door a moment later.

"No use! Can't wait! I'm terribly late! Oh, me! Oh, my! Oh, me! Oh, my!" he exclaimed, as he darted out of the house, holding a gold trumpet in his hand and wearing a white tunic that had a red heart printed on it and a pale blue court ruff.

"Excuse me, Mr. Duck," Lilo said to Daffy, "I've been trying to—"

Daffy turned around and ran over to Lilo, though he had thought she was this "Billie-Jean" person he was calling out earlier.

"Why, Billie-Jean! What are you doing out here?" Daffy asked her, frowning at her.

"Billie-Jean?" Lilo repeated, a puzzled expression forming on her face.

"Don’t just stand there, do something! No, no! Go get my gloves! I'm late!" Daffy barked, hopping in front of Lilo and holding up his large pocket watch.

"But late for what?" Lilo asked him, "That's just—"

"My gloves," Daffy shouted, blaring his trumpet vociferously, forcing Lilo to go inside the cottage. "At once! Do you hear?"

"Goodness," Lilo said to herself, as she headed up the blue staircase. "I suppose I should be taking orders from Cleo next."

Once she made her way up the stairs to Daffy‘s bedroom, Lilo started her search for Daffy's missing gloves.

"If I were a duck," she said, looking through a white wooden dresser, "where would I keep my gloves?"

When she opened a porcelain vase-like jar that was on the dresser, there were cookies in various shapes and colored frostings, and each of them had messages, such as "TAKE ONE" and "TRY ME". These were the same cookies she saw back when she was struggling to get the key onto the table at only ten inches tall.

"Oh, thank you." Lilo said, as she picked out a pink flower-shaped cookie with the words "EAT ME" written in brown frosting and took a bite of it, "Don’t mind if I do." As she looked through a chest full of clothes while humming, however, Lilo started to grow at an alarming rate, and her head hit the ceiling. The cookie had caused her to grow again—just like last time!

"Oh! Oh, no, no! Not again!" she exclaimed.

Daffy tapped his foot rapidly and looked at his watch with an impatient frown on his face. He jolted in shock and rushed back inside the house, with a fear of being very, very tardy.

"Billie-Jean!" he called out.

Lilo was still growing very rapidly as her arms emerged from the windows, and her right foot was toppling over furniture in Daffy's room, just as Daffy had darted up the staircase to the door of his bedroom.

"Now, you see here, Billie-Jean!" Daffy started to say as he opened the door, only to see Lilo's colossal right foot struggling to get through. "HEEEELLLLP!"

The black duck gasped in shock and tried to escape, but he was pushed down the stairs by her foot, which had finally found its way through the door, and blared his trumpet again. He then headed for the front door and opened it, only to be pushed through some of his broken possessions by Lilo's now fully huge foot. As he got out from underneath the destruction, the frenzied duck cried out in horror as he saw what was happening to his house. Lilo's arms had sprouted out of the windows, and her feet had emerged from the doorways.

"NOOOO! HELP! MONSTER!!" Daffy shouted in a panic, running away from his house and blaring his trumpet again, "Help! Assistance!!"

Lilo was struggling to get up, but it was no use. Daffy's house was too snug for her to break free, and therefore, she was completely stuck like a fly attached to flypaper.

"Oh, dear!" she complained, placing her left hand on the rooftop. Just then, she heard Daffy's voice, as he had come back with someone to help him.

"A monster! A monster, Warren! In my house, Warren!"

"Warren." Lilo repeated in an unamused tone of voice, as she recalled seeing him in the ocean and him ignoring her desperate call for help while rolling her eyes.

Daffy was hopping around Warren, who was walking with him down the dirt path back to his house.

"Settle down, old chap," Warren calmly said to Daffy, as he twirled his cane with his right hand. "Can't be as bad as all that, you know."

"My poor house..." Daffy said to Warren, still worried about his precious home. "Ohhh, my beautiful roof and rafters...all my walls, and—there it is!"

Warren stopped in front of the house, and his hat flew off his head as his eyes widened in shock, and he almost dropped his cane in the process.

"By Jove!" he exclaimed, raising his eyebrows and his shocked expression changing into a smile, "Jolly well is."

Lilo's giant hands opened the shutters, and she peeked through the open window to see Daffy and Warren, her eyes blinking with curiosity.

"Well, do your thing, Warren!" Daffy exclaimed, pushing Warren through the open gate and hiding behind it.

Warren approached the gigantic Lilo and examined her carefully, before replying as he tapped her sandal with his cane: "Yes, indeed. An extraordinary situation, but..."

"But-but-but-but what?!" Daffy exclaimed, finally coming out from behind the gate.

Warren blew his nose on his light blue handkerchief and put it away before placing a hand on Lilo's foot and crossed his right leg over his left.

"But I have a very simple solution!" he said, delighting the giant Lilo.

"Thank goodness!" Lilo said in response to Warren's announcement.

"W-W-W-What is it?" stuttered Daffy.

"Simply pull it out the chimney."

"Yes! G-G-Go on, go on! Pull it out!" Daffy exclaimed, running over and trying to push Warren, who was simply immovable.

"Who, me?" Warren questioned him, "Don’t be ridiculous! What we need is a...Er...Hmmm..."

A whistling noise was heard once Warren started thinking, and he turned to see a 6-year-old pig with pink skin, wearing a magenta jumpsuit with black hairlined stripes, a black jacket, a forest green long-sleeved turtleneck shirt, and a black English cap. He was also holding a broom in his right hand and a long ladder in his left as he was walking by Daffy's house.

"A pig with a ladder!" Warren exclaimed.

"Hmmm? Oh, Piglet!" Daffy called out to the pig, grabbing his attention, "Piglet!"

Piglet lifted his cap up as a part of greeting the two, but he then felt himself being pulled through the gate by Daffy.

"We need a lag with a pidder...A pidder..." the duck said to Piglet, "Can you help us?"

"At your service, governor!" Piglet replied kindly to the duck, saluting to him. He suddenly dropped his broom when he felt Warren's hand on his shoulder.

“Piglet, my lad," Warren said to him. "Have you ever been down a chimney?"

"Why, governor," Piglet said. "I've been down more chimneys!"

"Excellent, excellent!" Warren said with a smile, "You just pop down the chimney and haul that monster out of there."

Lilo was confused by Warren's choice to have Piglet pull her out of the chimney, for she was simply too big to fit right through it. *Why would they have a small pig pull me out of such a tiny chimney?* she wondered, *I don’t think this will help me out at all...*

"Right-o, governor!" Piglet said, climbing past by Lilo. Just then, he moved back down to see Lilo through the window and cried out in alarm, "Monster?!"

He let out a frightened scream and scurried down the ladder, only to be pulled on the jacket by Daffy and Warren. The two were trying to calm him down and get him back up the ladder so he would do his job, but Piglet was too frightened by the horrific vision of the gigantic Lilo to do so. Piglet scurried back down the ladder again, only to be carried up by Warren.

"Settle down now. That's better," Warren said to the frightened pig in an enthusiastic voice. "Piglet, lad. You're passing up a golden opportunity."

"I am?" Piglet repeated, a smile of delight lightening up on his face.

"You can be famous," Warren added, as he was still taking Piglet up the ladder. That added the fuel to Piglet's budding excitement.

"I can?"

"Of course!" Warren chirped. Once they reached to the top of the roof, Warren placed Piglet into the chimney.

"There's a brave lad! In you go now," he continued to say to Piglet. "Nothing to it, ol' boy. Simply tie your legs around the monster's neck and drag it out."

"Bu-But-But, governor!" Piglet started to reply, only to be shoved down the chimney by Warren.

"Good luck, Piglet."

Just as Piglet was completely pushed down the chimney, smoke came out from the fireplace, shrouded the room, flew up in the air, and tickled Lilo's nose. She felt her head lifting itself up. The poor, giant Hawaiian human girl was about to sneeze!

"Ah...ah...ah...ah...ah..."

Warren wobbled on the roof once he felt Lilo's head bouncing him around, and he jumped onto the ladder as fast as he could.

"Ah...ah...ah...ah...ahh...ah...ah...ah...ah...ah..."

Daffy took refuge behind Lilo's giant foot as the smoke emerged from the open window.

Suddenly, Lilo sneezed loudly.

"Ah-ah-ah...AH-AH-AHH-CHOO!"

Piglet swiftly flew out of the chimney and into the sky like a rocket launching into outer space. It was quite a surprise to Daffy and Warren as they watched him flying into the clouds above them and disappearing out of the view.

“Well, there goes Piglet!" said Warren, as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Poor Piglet!" Lilo said as her eyes gazed from the open window, and her hand was in front of the window.

Now that Piglet was no use for the monstrous problem, Warren had something else in mind. So he took out a match and used it to light up a pipe that had been in his mouth the whole time he was present. "Uhh...perhaps we should try a more energetic remedy!"

"Yes!" Daffy replied to Warren, pointing to his pocket watch, "Anything! Anything, but hurry!"

"I propose that we, uh..."

"Yes! Go on! Yes!"

"I propose that we...YOW!!!" Warren cried, as he had felt the flame of the lit match burn his fingers.

"By Jove, that's it!" exclaimed the cat disguised as a rat, "We'll burn the house down!"

"Yes!" Daffy replied, chuckling and nodding in response to his suggestion, "Burn the house—WHAT?!" But his eyes widened in shock because he knew that would mean he would lose his house to the burning flames if they would choose to go with it.

"Oh, no!" Lilo said, also alarmed by Warren's new plan.

Warren started gathering any of Daffy's valuables that would be used as firewood as he started to sing a joyous tune of his. The first item he picked out was a chair, much to the poor duck's worries.

Warren: (spoken, laughing) Ho, ho, ho!
(singing) *Oh, we'll smoke the blighter out*
*We'll put the beast to rout*
*Some kindling, just a stick or two*
*This bit of rubbish ought to do*

Warren picked up a pale pink-colored grandfather clock with disinclined help from Daffy. The clock was tossed into the wall and smashed into thousands of pieces, shocking Daffy. "Oh, dear!" he said fearfully, as Warren gathered more items with a pink wheelbarrow that belonged to the duck.

Warren: *We'll smoke the blighter out*
*We'll smoke the monster out*

Lilo was watching the entire scene with her bright brown eyes as Daffy scurried over toward Warren.

"No, no, no! Not my beautiful birdhouse!" he exclaimed, but it was already too late for the anxious duck to stop him. Warren had already taken a white birdhouse and split it in half, scaring a small group of bluebirds away. He then tossed it into the pile of the destroyed furniture as Daffy bonked his head onto the broken gate.

Warren: *Oh, we'll roast the blighter's toes*
*We'll toast the bounder's nose*
*Just fetch that gate*
*We'll make it clear that monsters aren't welcome here*

"Oh, me, oh, my!" Daffy said with a nervous look on his face, as he carried the gate over to the pile and placed it there. Then Warren placed a hand out in front of him, indicating that he needed something from him.

"Match," he said to him.

"Match?" Daffy repeated, as he handed a matchstick to Warren. Then Warren used Daffy to light up the match and placed it on the stack of roof shingles and the obliterated furniture.

Warren: *Without a single doubt*
*We'll smoke the monster out*

Then Daffy sang along, as well.

Daffy: *We'll smoke the monster out*

"Nooo! No! My poor house and furniture!" he exclaimed, as his worries had only heightened due to Warren's recent action.

White smoke started to rise up from the pile of the furniture, making Lilo feel sorry for the poor duck.

"Oh, dear! This is serious," she said. "I simply must—"

Lilo suddenly let out a short gasp of shock, and her eyes focused on a small garden of carrots located on the left side of the house.

"A garden!" she gasped, as she reached her gigantic hand for a carrot, not noticing Daffy running over to the carrot and grabbing hold of it.

"Perhaps if I eat something, it would make me grow small." Lilo strained.

It was a brief struggle, but soon, Lilo lifted the carrot and Daffy from the garden and up toward her face. Daffy was struggling to break free from her grip as he swung around in a panic.

"NO!!! Let go! HELP!!!" he cried fearfully, thinking that he would be eaten by her.

"I'm sorry, but I must eat something." Lilo said to Daffy.

"Not me, you...you...you barbarian!" Daffy shouted, aiming the carrot at Lilo as if it were a sword. Lilo took a big bite of the carrot and the tip fell off, surprising Daffy. Daffy fell off, free from the female's grip.

"Ahh! Monster!" Daffy yelled.

Lilo was shrinking at a very rapid pace, thanks to the carrot she found in Daffy's garden. Warren was still blowing the smoke in an attempt to make a fire, whereas Daffy was scurrying away from Lilo and tripped over her shrinking foot.

Lilo had shrunken down to the size of a small figure again, just like when she drank the bottle of the multi-flavored liquid.

"Ahh! I’m late!" Daffy exclaimed, as he had taken yet another look at his pocket watch. "Oh, dear! I'm here! I should be there! I'm late! I'm late!"

"I say, do you have a match?" Warren asked Daffy. However, he was given a rapid handshake by the duck instead.

"Must go! Goodbye! Hello! I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!" Daffy exclaimed, as he then hurried off on the dirt path and disappeared once again.

Lilo had made her way from underneath the front door, yet she still had to go after Daffy.

"Wait! Please wait!" she exclaimed, running over to the front porch and jumping up and down.

"Ahh, young lady," Warren said to the miniature Hawaiian human girl. "Do you have a match?"

"I'm sorry, but...Mr. Duck!" was all Lilo had to say to Warren before hurrying off.

Warren shook his head and raised an eyebrow as his hands were placed on his hips. "No cooperation," he said of Lilo and Daffy. "No cooperation at all. Well, can't have monsters about. Very well have to carry on by myself."

Then Warren took the broken legs of Daffy's furniture and used them to make a fire, and he blew some smoke once a small flame formed inside the hole of the broken piece.