Detective Joe

Detective Joe is the third objection of the first season. Taking on a completely different path than the two trials that succeeded it, it starts the Detective Trilogy, iconic to the first season. The episode can be segmented into two parts: Joe's investigation and the legitimacy of his and Will's title as detectives.

## Plot

The episode starts with Joe presenting himself as a detective and claiming that he is going to solve the hardest case ever created: What is Cheez-It Man. The latter, taken by surprise, simply replies by stating that he's made of cheez-its and that there is nothing suspicious here. Joe doesn't listen and instead states that he did an investigation, ready to reveal the truth. After a brief statement from Padre, Joe starts the case and brings the attention on Cheez-It Man's suit, revealing that there are goldfishes on it. Padre quickly comes to realise Joe's logic and asks if Cheez-It Man and Goldfish Man are one and the same. However, the mutant Cheez-It quickly explains that it's nothing more than a gift from Goldfish Man, for a "peace treaty". Joe and Padre express their doubts slightly as the former unleashes his trap: Goldfish Man left the server months ago, so how could he have given him the goldfishes?!

Cheez-It Man is quickly taken aback and stutters that it happened in DMs, but plot twist, Padre reveals that Goldfish Man is still in the server. After a brief humiliation (I bet he felt really stupid back then hehe), Joe quickly gets back on tracks and asks for proof of the DMs. Cheez-It Man, suddenly caught cold handed, mutters that it's private and further reinforces it by stating that showing the treaty would be against the law. Joe asks when the treaty was signed, and Cheez-It replies by saying it was done hours ago. However, this was yet another "trap" by Joe who states that the goldfishes weren't there minutes ago. Suddenly, Will appears and after learning what's going on, lets Joe do his thing. After thanking him, Joe asks for Cheez-It Man's backstory again and the latter obliges, albeit a bit confused by what is going on.

I mutated...
And became a man made of Cheez-Its.

Joe quickly interrupts the tale by bringing attention to Cheez-It Man's hands. They were indeed not Cheez-Its and very much human. However, Cheez-It Man quickly replies that these are gloves, to which Joe asks that he removes them. After "removing" them, Joe asks for a picture, which seems to disgust Cheez-It Man slightly. As the latter refuses, Joe gets serious and states that if Cheez-It Man is unable to cooperate/prove his claims, he will simply ends the case and judge him as an imposter, to which Padre adds that he will be executed as well. Having no other choice, Cheez-It Man agrees to provide a picture. After a very short break, Padre leaves the courtroom but Cheez-It instantly replies that he's going to do something better to prove his claims: remove the box attached to his head. A short confrontation happens between our two characters, ending on a joke by Padre. A long waiting time follows, with Joe threatening Cheez-It Man to hurry up. Finally, no reply from Cheez. Joe ends his case here and concludes with the results of his investigation, telling the grim truth of who Cheez-It Man truly is.

And to make matters worse, you created an alt!
That's right. You are Goldfish Man! The goldfishes on your suit prove it, but that's not all.
When Goldfish Man appeared, you coincidentally mentionned that you would win in a snack war against goldfishes. When he lost? He stopped appearing!

But one cry echoing in the courtroom brings his conclusion to an halt... OBJECTION!

Cheez-It Man is back, and showcases himself without the box, proving once and for all that he is, in fact, a being made of Cheez-Its. Joe, taken aback, quickly adapts to the situation and claims that Cheez-It Man glued Cheez-Its on his head, but our fearless mutant Cheez-It simply denies the accusation. A fatal mistake, since Joe had "proof" to back his claim, in the form of crumbles on Cheez-It Man's gloves. DeerKing states that this is only because Cheez-It Man's hands get crumbly easily, but Joe objects and states that the crumbles are near the fingertips, not near the wrists where you would usually put gloves. Cheez-It Man objects and states that the crumbles come from the box itself. They supposedly fell off when the box scraped off his legitimate head. Joe asks to see the box, saying that it should have crumbles on it too. Cheez-It Man however denies this and explains it using really complicated terms that hurt my brain and apparently everyone else's. After a short awkward silence, Cheez-It Man clarifies by saying that there will be some in the box, but not outside. Joe also clarifies that he meant to see the inside of the box, sneaking in a quick idiot on the way, before asking to see the box one more time.

But in a twist of events, Cheez-It Man turns the entire case around: he attacks Joe directly, stating that he isn't even a detective. Joe replies by saying to go look in bot commands, but Cheez-It Man objects and brings to light the fact that Joe got his title from an 8ball, the most unreliable source determined completely by chance. DeerKing then brings up the question of Joe's license. Joe states that he left it at home and supposedly leaves to go and get it. Will then interjects and help Joe's case, by stating that he possesses his license, which Cheez-It instantly suspects, calling Will a stealer. But Will simply replies that him and Joe work together, before showing a gun and discussing a bit with Cheez-It Man. At this moment, Joe comes back and shows his "real" license, but the legitimacy of it quickly gets called out by Cheez-It. This insults both Will and Joe, who then reply and call out Cheez-It on his objection. However, the young Cheez-It gets himself one formidable ally, that being Matt himself.

Cheez-It, refilled with courage, pushes on and brings forth his first argument: the license lacks what the other certificates had, that being "official papers, not fake". Joe explains that this is because the certificates were made and printed by society while his license was made by Will. Matt asks if it still makes him an elligible detective, to which Joe agrees by saying that Will is the greatest detective and a license authorised by him is worth more than anything. However, Cheez-It Man quickly realises that Will was also a doctor in the dad trials and thus, he couldn't be a detective since the training process takes up to 5 years. Unfased, Will simply laughs before unleashing a massive bomb on the courtroom: Dr. Will is his brother and he's (NonSense Will) always been a detective. But Mr. De appears and almost says the N word, which triggers the entire courtroom, before he simply finishes his sentence with "-ce car". This interruption allows Joe to quickly take back control of the trial and bring the focus on Cheez-It Man.

After a brief confrontation where they both call each other imposters, Joe brings attention to Cheez-It Man's backstory, stating that it's impossible since anyone would've died, especially a fragile Cheez-It. In Joe's eyes, it didn't make sense that this little Cheez-It mutated to become a man made of it. Cheez-It Man simply counters by stating that Cheez-Its aren't living objects, but Joe doesn't buy it and say that it's more fragile than a human. Cheez-It Man ignores his statement and states that someone dropped him in the nuclear vat, but this is the opportunity Joe had been waiting for. Cheez-It Man didn't mention this statement earlier and Joe instantly asks who this mysterious person is, alongside why Cheez-It Man is changing his backstory. He deals the final blow by quoting the man himself, who said "A Cheez-It isn't a living object", asking how Cheez-It Man has any memories of this event if that was truly the case. Caught once and for all, Cheez-It Man has nothing else to say to this. As Joe concludes his case and the courtroom watches in dread, everything takes a complete turn when Joe simply says that Cheez-It Man is going to receive love and attention for being a great friend.

After a sweet wholesome moment between our two rivals, one cry echoes in the courtroom, bringing everything to an halt and sending things down further below into the abyss that is the lore of this server. OBJECTION!

Matt, not done yet, asks where Will's proof is when he said that he was a detective before coming here, and by the same occasion, that Dr. Will is his brother. Will, unimpressed, simply tells Matt to look at how he solved the "N00bstick case" and led an investigation against John the Shadow King, aka Joe. But Matt clarifies his desire by stating that Will needs to prove that he and Dr. Will are two different people. Will simply replies that he wouldn't be a detective if he was a doctor, and his past cases prove that he is indeed a detective. But this doesn't fase Matt in the slightest, who simply replies that he believes Will and Dr. Will are one and the same. Joe asks him to clarify, to which Matt happily obliges.

Joe and Will both don't understand Matt's claim, to which the latter starts by saying that it is extremely weird that they both share a name and a profession that has been utilised here. Joe doesn't buy it but Matt simply keeps going, by saying that Will claims to not be a doctor. He is however rudely interrupted by Joe, who asks for evidence of his claims, but Matt simply drops his second point and goes straight to his third one, which hopefully serves to prove his claims. A classic argument of the ancient times is used by Matt, who states the following:

Cheez-It Man comes back and simply praises Matt, but Will objects and states, once again, that he is too young to be both. Cheez-It Man finally explains Matt's point by stating that Will is neither a detective or a doctor, but the latter replies that he has proven his worth more than once. Joe directly confronts Matt and brings up the fact that if Will and Dr. Will are one and the same, that only makes Will more qualified in the end, therefore proving nothing. Boss Baby Gaming appears and interrupts everything, bringing Joe despair since his "epic moment" goes unnoticed. Matt however doesn't let his claim go unheard, asking for clarification on the fact that he proved nothing. Joe happily obliges and states the following:

Matt objects, saying that in fact, it's the contrary. He invites Joe to take a closer look at the evidence he provided, starting with the license he claimed Will has signed. Matt asks if it looks familiar to Joe, but the latter doesn't seem to believe so. As such, Matt provides the Dad Certificate presented by Joe in Matt is Joe's dad, but Joe still doesn't seem to know what's going on. He is however instantly interrupted by Will who claims that it's not the same handwriting on both documents. Matt simply ignores this and provides the "Mom Certificate" that Joe also provided, but this time it's Joe's turn to say that it's not the same handwriting. Matt provides the final piece of evidence, the DNA test, and Joe, finally knowing where Matt is going, simply states that the only similar thing amongst these four pieces of evidence is the black paper, which isn't much in his eyes. Boss Baby Gaming however replies that it's 75% of the image, if not more. Matt simply says that while it is not much, it's enough to prove his point. This means that all licenses were produced in the same method, therefore bringing doubt on the legitimacy of the license and by extension, all pieces of evidence (therefore helping Matt's case for the dad shenanigans).

Joe however doesn't let himself be disturbed and pushes on, bringing forth the fact that all three pieces of evidence he provided in the Dad Trials have "official papers, not fake" written on them. If the detective license were to be produced in the same method as them, it would have this text on it too. Boss Baby Gaming objects and states that maybe Joe's papers are fake, but Joe denies this by stating that Will signed it. True Planet interjects and tells Joe to find a truth instead of turning this shit into Kingdom Hearts, to which Matt says that he has everything he needs to close this case anyway. Boss Baby Gaming brings forth "proof" which goes unheard by everyone and Joe simply replies that Matt not responding to his argument only made it worse for him.

Matt simply states that neither Will or Joe are sharp enough to deceive him and proceeds with his counter-argument. He brings back the three certificates and asks Joe if they're all official papers, to which Joe agrees. Matt then brings forth the detective license and asks if Joe notices what's missing. Surely enough, it's once again the label "official papers, not fake", thus preventing Joe's detective license from being an official paper and therefore legitimate. Joe is forced to repeat his previous argument, stating that the reason the license is legitimate is because someone qualified signed it. The certificates are official because the world/city/server/society made it, and Will is none of those. Even without an "official" label, the license is still eligible for these reasons. DeerKing however states that another detective cannot sign Joe's license, to which Cheez-It instantly follows by saying that Joe didn't prove shit either.

Matt then brings into question the fact that if Joe is as good a detective as Will made him out to be, how come his license isn't an official one? Will simply states that it's a temporary license and was allowed to make it for Joe in order to prove his worth if it ever came into question, therefore explaining why it is not an official one. Joe repeats the fact that he was under trial and had to solve a case (in this instance, the Cheez-It Man case) in order to become a full-fledged detective. Matt brings into question the fact that Joe neglected telling this detail when he first presented his license, to which Joe replies by saying that Cheez-It Man would've never believed me if he said he was still under trial. However, Cheez-It Man brings back the question of the 8ball and gives his own assumption of what happened, being that Joe immediately asked Will to make a fake license alongside changing his name to make himself look more believable. Joe however brings into question the fact that on Cheez-It Man's screenshot, the 8ball already refers to him as Detective Joe when he asks for his detective title, stating that the source isn't from there.

Matt replies by saying that Joe could've easily changed his name after receiving the answer, therefore changing how the 8ball calls him, but Joe denies this and states that this is a screenshot by Cheez-It Man, therefore showing that the 8ball did in fact call him Detective Joe before he changed his name. Matt reaffirms his stance, saying that Joe changed his name himself and since the 8ball directly pings the user, the ping would change as well, therefore negating Joe's argument. The latter doesn't give up and explains that he changed his name to show who he was, and that he was on trial far before he asked the 8ball. He only decided to solve his case now since he was busy collecting evidence on Cheez-It Man.

Matt suddenly had a genius idea: he could check the logs to know when Joe changed his name, therefore proving his earlier arguments. Cheez-It Man says that on the logs, they should see that Joe changed his name only after getting the title from the 8ball and not before. Joe however, slightly annoyed, reexplains that he was a detective far before this moment, going as far back as when he was a mod (early 2020, Detective Joe happens in Early 2021). Cheez-It Man doesn't seem to believe it, which causes Joe to leave and find his evidence to back his claim. However, at this exact moment, Matt comes back and states that he has checked the logs to see when Joe became a detective, which unsurprisingly shows that he only changed it today when he got the satisfactory result from the 8ball. Will, baffled, can only watch the Prosecution deal the final blows.

"Detective" Joe got his position not from Will, but from the judgement of an 8-ball. He merely had Will be his accomplice to cover his story, forgetting that the logs would disprove everything.

But once again, the conclusion comes to an halt when a cry resonates... OBJECTION!

With one singular screenshot, Joe instantly destroys the Prosecution's entire argument, proving that he was indeed a Detective before this instance. This is shown through Will's old profile picture, showing that the screenshot is in fact an old one. Matt asks why Joe even needed the 8ball's judgement for, stating that if his position was legitimate back then, he wouldn't have needed that device to instate himself as one. Joe replies that he only used the 8ball to time the reveal of his announcement, while also receiving his license since he was an apprentice back then. As Joe finally tastes victory, and all seems lost for the Prosecution, Matt does one move that instantly shocks the defense: What about Will? Joe got his detective wits from him, but where did he get his? Will simply replies that it's natural skill while Joe brings back Will's past cases, stating that he already proved himself as a detective unless Matt somehow had more skills to judge that.

In a brief moment of insanity, Matt asks if Will had the same detective label as Joe back then, to which Joe replies that he gained it exactly after the John case and that the license only serves to officialise his title. Will also adds that he solved a few cases before joining PHIS. With no other way out, the Prosecution simply retires for the day and admits defeat, with Cheez-It Man saying that this is becoming tiring, Boss Baby Gaming asking what the point of all of this was and Matt going to sleep. However, the latter states that he has one more piece of evidence to give, while warning Joe to not celebrate victory just yet. After a short moment, Matt brings forth his final piece of evidence. Bringing back that once again, the licenses share fonts, background and other such details, they were printed under similar circumstances and that there is something bigger going on. Joe misunderstands this and simply say that they discussed it before, but Matt leaves him with one final warning.

Joe takes the warning into consideration and states that this will need to be resolved another time. Matt simply adds that if him and Will are good detective, they'll surely figure it out. During that time, Boss Baby Gaming says that he is fake and born from Joe's extreme schizophrenia, which is mainly jokes not taken seriously by anyone present. Will then adds that Joe's license was going to be officialised tomorrow anyway, before asking the latter what the full name of Dr. Will is. Joe replies that his name is Doctor William Zeppeli, and satisfied, Will replies that this proves that he isn't Dr. Will. His name is Willyam, not William. Unimpressed, Matt simply lets it go but Boss Baby Gaming objects and say that William Zeppeli dies. Joe affirms that he knows this and reexplains that Dr. Will wasn't the one to sign his license, it was Detective Will. Matt simply says that he will look into this further when he is properly awake, and leaves Joe with one final warning: to keep a close eye on Detective Will. He has a hunch that Will is lying about something and that this will be made clear soon enough. Joe simply replies by saying that he trusts Will and is convinced that the only liar here is Matt. The latter simply replies that the truth will be made apparent soon enough, whether Joe wants it or not.

## Cast

JoeWill/NonSenseCheez-It ManPadreMattBoss Baby GamingTrue Planet
## Trivia

* This objection focused primarily on proving that Joe is a fraud, while Detective Will was mainly to prove that Will is a fraud. To go with this trend, an episode named Detective Cyano was supposed to come out as the Season 1 finale where it focused on proving that Cyano is a fraud.
* Despite being a trilogy, a fourth Detective episode was supposed to come out.
* This episode has a lot of foreshadowing to the rest of the trilogy, which went unnoticed by the creator before he wrote this page. Namely, the licenses all being fabricated by Joe (and therefore explaining the fonts, backgrounds and whatnot), someone deceiving everyone (that being Joe himself) and the extreme schizophrenia, which Joe later tries using to his advantage without much success.
* True Planet and Boss Baby Gaming both come back in Detective Joe, making it their last appearance on the show. They were also both present in Matt is Joe's dad, the very first episode of the series.
* At one point in the making of this objection, the creator lost almost all of his progress (70+ frames lost) and considered dropping the objection entirely.
* Joe's original goal was simply to have a bit of fun but realised half-way through that maybe he was going too far against Cheez-It (and potentially annoying him), explaining why instead of a harsh punishment like he promised at the beginning, he simply said that Cheez-It Man was a great friend.
* Despite many jokes that Joe never won a case in court, this is technically a win for Joe and a loss for Matt.
* Joe calling Dr. Will "William Zeppeli" is because this is the first name he thought of. He knew, however, that he had to spell William like that for Will to "prove" that he isn't Dr. Will.