Statisticians

Several Statisticians consider themselves the inaugural Methodology of the Convention. However, anyone vocalizing this assertion often faces a barrage of Styrofoam cups, frequently containing coffee, as a response to their perceived sacrilege. The debate over whether humanity initially created fire or simulated it tends to provoke strong reactions from these steadfast egotists.

## History

The Statistician Methodology, despite its somewhat unfortunate name, would arguably be better termed "simulationists." This designation reflects their primary role in pouring vast amounts of numerical data and facts into extensive databases, meticulously sifting through them for meaningful extrapolations, disturbing patterns, and underlying representations of larger issues. The origin of Statisticians can be traced back to the very beginnings of human attempts to codify and structure theories about life. This distinction is crucial, as the codification and structuring of unknowns allowed human intellect to be applied to the understanding of the universe—a cornerstone of the Statisticians' focus and ultimate goal: comprehending all that remains unknown.

Historically, very few Statisticians have been documented, primarily due to the challenge of concealing their advantages in prediction and modeling from the eyes of the Sleepers. Stories about ancient seers employing arcane methods, utilizing strange languages, and creating complex astrological charts may, in fact, be garbled accounts of early Statisticians rather than narratives about soothsayers and witches. The power to foretell the future by studying obscure patterns aligns with the motif of the Statisticians.

Claiming to be the oldest methodology within their convention, the Statisticians trace their roots to ancient Greek and Chinese thinkers who codified observations of nature into systems for classifying similar phenomena. Their objective is to unravel the unknown and integrate it into their schemata.

Statisticians attribute the invention of multiple calendars to themselves, viewing it as a means to channel and control the previously uncontrolled and often contradictory flow of time. Their predictive modeling has successfully foreseen technological advancements implemented by the Time Table, ranging from the theory of the earth ellipsoid to the conceptualization of the human brain as a computer.

At the turn of the millennium, Statisticians predicted a 75% chance of a global disaster, envisioning the Masses destroying themselves over the following decade. Following the loss of Autochthonia and its highest personnel in the wake of the Reckoning, the remaining Statisticians redirect their focus to the tools at their disposal.

## Operations

In recent times, the remarkable proliferation of databases in both number and quality, along with their escalating utility, owes much to the early efforts of Statisticians. The advent of Masses' computers accurately and swiftly processing census data marked a pivotal moment, ensuring the continued integration of computers into daily life. Statisticians rightfully take pride in this significant development. The accumulation of knowledge, for them, is an ongoing journey; the more that is known, the more there is to explore in the abstract sense.

Another crucial aspect of the Statistician methodology involves not only collecting data but utilizing and exploring it actively. The term "dead data" serves as insider slang for "stupid," emphasizing the deep-seated belief that data must be actively employed to be valuable. This philosophy is ingrained in researchers and forms the basis of sub-cultures within the field. Exploration of vast amounts of information is primarily achieved through simulation. Databases contribute to building models of various phenomena, ideally mimicking real-world behavior. These simulations range from demographic models predicting the impact of major technological releases to more immediate concerns like understanding fluctuations in rainfall over Eastern Europe.

Given the extensive understanding required for effective statistical work, most Statisticians maintain a multi-focus approach. The Methodology encompasses a diverse range of professionals beyond the expected statisticians, analysts, programmers, and software designers. It includes pollsters, futurists, data-gatherers, psychologists, sociologists, and traditional engineers. In terms of diversity, the only Methodology that might rival Statisticians is the Time-Motion Managers.

## Convention

Within the entirety of Iteration X, the Statisticians predominantly occupy high leadership roles, given their adeptness at planning and forecasting the organization's trajectory. Few members from other groups challenge this authority, as they are generally more inclined towards resolving local issues and pursuing localized projects rather than concerning themselves with the broader conspiracy. Despite individual tensions between Time-Motion Managers and Statisticians arising from differences in determining the group's destination versus expected methods, overall friction remains relatively low due to the divergence in their focuses.

The perception of Statisticians as "hands-off" and detached by the rest of the Convention, especially by Macrotechnologists, can strain relations. The Statisticians' emphasis on lofty goals and modeling over experiential knowledge may alienate more grounded scientists, who feel a stronger connection to practical realities. Some Statisticians even imply in certain contexts that the model surpasses reality, further contributing to this stereotype and causing friction with fellow Methodology members. Nonetheless, the disparity in focuses reduces potential conflicts, a fact appreciated by most Statisticians.

Since the disruption in communications with external stations and seed colonies, Statisticians have experienced moderate effects. The lack of access to the vast computing power of the Computer has interrupted ongoing research and advanced models, leaving some Statistician scientists feeling disconnected from their primary tool. Conversely, others view this shift as an opportunity to refocus on available tools, leading to innovative strides in technology. Notably, research on advanced neural networks and parallel/distributed computation, spearheaded by Statisticians, has made some of the Computer's capabilities accessible to both Technocratic researchers and, to some extent, Sleepers. This unexpected progress exceeds the Statisticians' initial models, prompting some members to advocate for bolder advancements in the Five Year Plan through hybrid research teams. Scientists in emergent non-linear systems within this Methodology express skepticism about the validity of the linear extrapolation methods used in the Plan to date.