The Grisly Journey Of The Donner Party

"**The Grisly Journey of The Donner Party**" is the eighth and final episode of season two, and the twelfth episode total of *Puppet History*. (Warning: This episode contains lots of cannibalism.)

## Plot

The Professor teaches Ryan and Joyce about the Donner Party, and the rescue parties who tried to help them.

## Cast

* Shane Madej as The Professor / The Bony Snowman / The Genie
* Ryan Bergara as himself
* Joyce Louis-Jean as herself

## Quiz Questions & Answers

* *What did James Clyman say to Reed about the shortcut?*
	+ A. "If you take the Hastings cutoff, you'll only need half the supplies, it's simply that superior."
	+ **B. "Lansford Hastings doesn't know what he's talking about. He, in fact, had never taken the cutoff himself."**
	+ C. "If you're taking the Hastings route, I would like to lead your group."
* *The shortcut was advertised to shave 300 miles off the total journey. How many miles did it actually save?*
	+ Ryan: 3
	+ **Joyce: -100**
	+ **The journey added them another 125 miles**
* *What happened to Reed?*
	+ A. They stabbed him back!
	+ **B. They banished him.**
	+ C. They took all of his rations.
* *How far away from their final destination was the Donner Party when they became snowed in?*
	+ A. 1000 miles.
	+ B. 500 miles.
	+ **C. 100 miles.**
* *What did he tell them?*
	+ A. To never give up their trust in the lord.
	+ B. A long-winded genie anecdote from The Professor
		- That somewhere deep in the Rocky Mountains, he had cached a trove of treasured items, including a magical lamp that only a creature about the size of a human hand could get to. And inside the magical lamp was a genie, capable of granting any wish up to and including turning a seemingly everyday item into a secret time machine. But then if you wished for that, the genie would be a total prick about it. So maybe be careful what you wish for.
	+ **C. To eat his body for food.**
* *Who led the second rescue party?*
	+ **A. James Reed, the guy who stabbed a man to death.**
	+ B. William Foster, the other shitty murderer who killed the two Miwok natives.
	+ C. Rutherford B Hayes, the future president of the United States.
* *What was the bad news?*
	+ Ryan: Was greeted with an arrow to the dome.
	+ **Joyce: Everyone is dead**
	+ **William Foster's son was murdered and then eaten.**
* *How many of those remaining settlers were still alive?*
	+ Ryan: 1, "the kid"
	+ **Joyce: 1, "the children eater"**
	+ **(The Professor gives a gruesome description of what Keithsburg ate.) Keithsburg was the survivor. The Professor gives Ryan a point and Joyce 2 points.**

## Musical Guest

The musical guest is a Snowman who is full of human body parts. Who is entirely oblivious to the horrors of Donner Lake and how he is made of bones. So he just assumes that some snow has bones and some doesn't. He sings about how great it is to be a snowman full of bones.

## Winner

Joyce unsurprisingly wins the Coveted Cup of the History Master. The Professor says that he's glad that Ryan was such a good contestant this season. Ryan thinks he's right, but Ryan thinks they shouldn't hang out outside the show. What a wholesome finale to the season!