The Funky Fartbox

Inspired by a 9-button fart noise box by NPW, this is a marigold fart noise maker machine that offers nine toots; each one is followed by a witticism from the sensationally uproarious Carrot Top!

## The Jape Routines

* Real Silly Storytimes-When listening to audiobooks, add in fun with The Funky Fartbox!
* Shopping Smiles-When shopping, add humor to the checkout with The Funky Fartbox!
* Stormy Snickers-When lightning strikes and thunder booms, add mirth to the rainy day with The Funky Fartbox!
* Photo Funtime-When having your photo taken, add comedy to the photography with The Funky Fartbox!
* Gaming Giggles-While playing games, use The Funky Fartbox to add amusement!
* Crafting Chuckles-While making arts and crafts, use The Funky Fartbox to add hilarity!
* Fitness Funnies-While getting fit, use The Funky Fartbox as a reminder to keep your sunny side up when the going gets tough!
* Tickled Pink and Tidy All Over-While tidying up, use The Funky Fartbox to keep your cleaning routine comical!
* Traffic Chortles-When stuck in traffic or at a red light, use The Funky Fartbox to pass the time-and the wind, too!
* Joyful Festivity-Add cheer to your favourite holidays (like your birthday) with The Funky Fartbox; use it while singing celebratory tunes and carols.
* Mealtime Mirth-When you're done eating breakfast, lunch or dinner, use The Funky Fartbox for a totally outrageous aftermath!
* Seaside Silliness-At a beach party, hit the buttons and blame whoever's with you.
* Bathing Belly Laughs-After bathing, use The Funky Fartbox while drying yourself.
* Cartoon Crazies-While watching cartoons, use The Funky Fartbox during commercial breaks.
* Nature Knee Slappers-While strolling through the great outdoors, activate The Funky Fartbox and blame whoever's outside.
* Entertainment in The Elevator-When the elevator hits a floor, activate The Funky Fartbox and blame whoever's riding along with you.
* Fairground Joy-At a fun park or fair, hit the buttons and blame the riders as well as whoever's onstage!
* Music Making Merriment-While making or listening to music, use The Funky Fartbox to add goofy sound effects and super-zany commentary to your solos or the tracks on your albums!

## The Fart Names and Descriptions

1. The Soloist-This airy toot imitates a violin solo; it's often dealt by girls and women in their 10s (ages 10-19.)
2. The Squelcher-This wet toot imitates the noise of somebody walking in mud; it's often dealt by actors.
3. The Croaker-This squeezy toot imitates a frog's call; it's often dealt by babies.
4. The Wobbler-This juicy toot makes your bum cheeks quiver; it's often dealt by ballerinas.
5. The Balloon Deflator-This toot imitates the whoopie cushion-style rasping of a deflating balloon; it's often dealt by cooks.
6. The Trombone Slider-This toot imitates a slide trombone in a Dixieland jazz band; it's often dealt by vets.
7. The Door Creaker-This toot imitates a creaky door; it's often dealt by firefighters.
8. The Stiff Leathery Chair-This toot imitates the noise of somebody sitting on a leather chair; it's often dealt by mail carriers.
9. The Leaking Faucet-This is a series of squishy toots imitating a faucet dripping; it's often dealt by grocers.

## The Banter

1. (farts) Oh, so nice!
2. (farts) No enchiladas for me, please!
3. (farts) What a whiff!
4. (farts) That's a ripe one!
5. (farts) Truly epic!
6. (farts) Bravo, bravissimo!
7. (farts) Pee-yew, that was just plain rotten!
8. (farts) Joyfully symphonic!
9. (farts) That'll go down in history!