Big Brother 10/Week 8

Basically, I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I didn't want to go against my alliance but I also didn't want to piss off Sam or my new alliance so it was a balancing act between the two. Ultimately, I settled on vetoing Maya under the notion of the two of us making a deal since it was the easiest to sell to everybody not in the alliance of what I was doing. I was hoping that this way, I wouldn't get much blood on my hands or any retribution from Sam.
... Then he nominated Quintin as a pawn and Bradley as his target. LoL to tell you I LAUGHED! This was exactly what I wanted (the Bradley being the target part). As y'all know, I've been trying to get that sucker out since Week THREE and I finally did it, although it had nothing to do with me. From what I get to understand, Sam was conflicted all week because he wanted to turn on the 3-person alliance that was Szymon/Bryce/Natalia but he didn't apparently want to go through with it post-veto because I guess in his mind, it made more sense to just get out the easy target. The problem with his move is that once you've taken a shot at a group, you can't just bow out and not do anything at all. If he wanted to take them out, he should've put up Szymon/Abi or something. Endangering one of his closest allies' lives in Quintin was downright dumb.
This leads me to this week. I feel so conflicted because on one hand, I know that Natalia/Szymon/Bryce are probably not telling the truth about their 3-person alliance and it's very likely a thing but on the other hand, I can't do anything this week because Nat's the HOH. Luckily for me, we have had a good bond and she knows that under any circumstances, I was saving her if I won Veto (it just so happened that Bryce wanted to save her, which I still think to this day is sketchy) so I'm pretty positive that she shouldn't put me up this week.
I think going forward, I need to reevaluate who I'm working with and also how I'm trying to get to the end. What Bradley said was somewhat true but also not true in my opinion... I have played before, that's a fact, but I'm honest to goodness NOT playing up any persona. Have I used it to my advantage to curry favor with people in the beginning? Yes, but this is a game and I shouldn't be penalized for doing so. I just feel like with the whole blowup + what Sharky said on his way out, I don't see myself having any chances with the Jury and that's entirely on me. I need to figure out some way I can get to the end otherwise, I'm probably only getting there as a goat and not a serious contender to win.

Not that I needed more ammo to go after them though. I need Sam out of this house like yesterday. I love him and he's great but he's terrible for my game. He's like Jackson from bb21 lmao the longer he stays the more he can just comp win his way to the end, ya, no thanks. Oh and as if I needed more excuses, he tried to get me out last week!! Why on Earth would I keep him lmao. I know that he's a shield but I'll take my chances and hope he still goes. Either way from MY trio, Bryce and Szy are the much higher visibility threats over myself going forward because I can play off my only comp win as a fluke, well this one and hopefully I can pull out the veto too this week to keep noms the same.
My plans for this week are to make myself seem open minded so people throw some deals my way but also not be too fake (bc jury management). I'm hoping to use my week to its full advantage to gather as much tea as possible that will hopefully help me down the line.

I think my best remedy is possibly just letting Sam go and fighting for HOH next week and taking a shot at Bryce/Szymon. That's the only way I can make a big move and swing some power over to my side next week.

Now I'm stressed though bc I don't know who of abi and Quintin I want to leave or if I should even leave Quintin in danger or save him by putting him up against someone who'll go over him... Even then I'm not voting so it's not exactly up to me loll but there are definitely options that give him a better chance. I know Quintin hasn't been straightforward with me about his alliances but can I blame him when neither have I? Even though we both basically know who we're working with. What worries me about Quintin is he's very likeable and he's a smart player. What I like about him is he's my friend and we have a small connection from knowing each other from a different org even though we never played together. Last week Quintin also told me he wouldn't vote me out so there's a small level of trust there although he could be playing me which is what makes me also be okay with him leaving.. I just don't know for sure if he is gonna have my back throughout. Also I don't want to possibly get to the end and for jurors to devalue my efforts bc Quintin and I "knew" each other before the season. I wouldn't want ppl to say that I had an unfair advantage. The thing is I want Abi out of here like yesterday too. I tested her when I went up last week to see what she would say and she never guaranteed me her vote and she hasn't even talked to me that much the last while tbh... I don't trust her at all to watch out for me lmao. But she's also not as threatening as Quintin so .. idk. We'll see.

It was supposed to be an easy week, and for the most part, it has been. There really hasn't been any shifts in dynamics or changes to the overall structure of the game. Nat's HOH has been smooth sailing, but I'm a little fearful that it's a tad bit too smooth.
Maybe I'm just paranoid, but the fact that no one is speaking to me until AFTER the veto ceremony (because they're trying to see where I'm voting) is worrisome. I wholeheartedly believe that Szymon/Bryce/Natalia/Maya have some type of group, because even Natalia has been giving me the cold shoulder with the rest of them.
I think I'm feeling really badly about my game because I know that it's going to be hard to fix it, and more than likely, I could be going out at 6 or 7 if I don't do something soon. I hate having to rely on a comp, but I really feel like I need either Sam or Abi to win F7 HOH and target the other people. It's the only way I can truly move forward and have a shot at winning this, because right now, I'm flopping... HARD!