Two of a Kind

***Two of a Kind*** is the fourth chapter in the audio-fiction series, *The Sounds of Nightmares*.

## Description

*Noone's nightmare of a disturbing carnival has The Counsellor questioning whether she might be visiting another world while in her sleep. He begins to question the boundaries of reality, and how he might breach them.*

## Plot

The chapter begins with the Counsellor discussing Noone’s situation, after their recent session. He explains that in psychology it is well known that duality means a person holds multiple separate personas. A person will switch around personas depending on the situation they are in. Because all these personas are housed within a single body, it gives the illusion that they are one person. He determines that Noone houses two very distinct personas, the innocent child and the disturbed traveler, both of which are fighting for control as he has witnessed her shift from being the girl who is simply talking about what she has seen, to the girl that is reliving her traumatic experience. He then brings to question what happens if the physical body is also being split. The Counsellor plays a portion of the recent session with Noone, where she recounts how she could hear someone else's breath and feel her body fearfully respond to their presence. The Counsellor takes into account her vanishings and has determined that her inner personality has not only been separated into two very distinct personas, but that her physical body is now being separated, pulled back and forth between two worlds. Although he admits his explanation sounds crazy, he is no longer able to ignore that Noone’s case has now led him to cross the boundaries of what is rational in order to explain her true situation. The Counsellor rewinds the recording of the recent session with Noone.

The recording begins with Noone and the Counsellor watching various happy children mingle in “the reunion room”. Noone notes the cake in the room and asks if she can enter the room to have a piece. Although the Counsellor tells her it is not allowed for “inpatients” like her to mingle with “out patients”, who are children that are ready to return to their families, he agrees to enter the room on his own to obtain a slice of chocolate cake for her.

When he returns with the cake, Noone questions why the children did not wave to her from the other side of the window, when she attempted to wave to them. The Counsellor reveals to her that the “window” is actually a two way mirror, they can see inside the room, but no one in the room can look back, all they see is a mirror.

As Noone eats the cake, the Counsellor brings up last night's monitoring. He reveals that while she was asleep in bed with the brain monitor on, her body suddenly vanished. The Counsellor attempts to ask her as calmly as he can about where she went when she disappeared, knowing fully well she did not leave the room as he personally saw her vanish. Noone is confused, as she assumed she was simply in bed the entire night, sleeping, she has no memory of last night. The Counsellor attempts to explain to her that she did vanish from her bed for several minutes before returning. Horrified, Noone begins to have an anxiety attack, unsure of what is happening as she knows people do not just disappear. She questions why the Counsellor is telling her she disappeared, when he is the one who is supposed to help her and understand her in order to find a rational explanation and solution to her nightmares. The Counsellor tells her neither of them know why she disappeared, but her disappearance is a major development in her case as well as a genuine anomaly. After he helps her calm down through some breathing exercises, Noone asks him why he brought her to look at the children in the reunion room. While he believes Noone has always disliked being isolated, Noone corrects him and explains she dislikes being lonely and alone. The Counsellor had attempted to show her the reunion room and the children inside as a form of motivation, to help her focus on a goal and understand that she will one day be part of the reunion room, but only if she is willing to trust in his words and process, even when things may seem too difficult to understand, such as how he tried to explain to her that she vanished.

Noone informs him that she understands more than he realizes, and while he agrees she does know more, these things are hidden deep within her mind. While he wants to continue making the preparations necessary for their session tonight, he abides by Noones requests to stay near the reunion room a little longer, just until she finished her cake.

Later, Noone is being linked to a machine with numerous wires. The Counsellor explains the machine is the same one he used to monitor her sleeping brain, however, this time he will use it to monitor her while she is awake and retelling her recent nightmare. His intention is to compare the results from her sleep monitoring with the results of the monitoring when she is awake. Noone dislikes the procedure, especially  being awake for them as her former doctor had conducted similar tests and prodding's, inserting things into her body, much like how her former doctor inserted tubes into her stomach. The Counsellor tells her the electrodes on her scalp will feel strange but there is no pain, but  if she feels her anxiety returning then to simply perform the same breathing exercise they did back in the reunion room.

Although Noone is unsure of the process, the Counsellor reminds her of what he said to her in the reunion room and how she must trust his process if she is ever to join the children in the reunion room. As Noone turns on the machine, Noone begins recounting the events of her recent nightmare.

Noone recounts spinning out of a dark place, she finds herself in a place with lights sparkling all around. In the distance, she could hear laughing and screams of joy. Following the sound, she comes across various children sitting on crates. Although the children were surprised to see her, they were friendly and introduced themselves to her one by one. The children explain to her they were performers, each with different skills and talents, such as juggling, fire breathing, and trapeze. A boy named Rusty tells her of his many skills and talents, including tightrope walking.

As Noone looks around her, she sees wooden caravans all around with big yellow wheels, as well as various colorful fabrics. Noone particularly takes note of the fairy lights and how they reflected from the puddles of water left by the rain, which cleared before she arrived. As she stared at the dancing lights in the murky water, her mind loses focus. The performers continue talking loudly to one another as she remained focused on the lights. Noone reveals the performers were all teenagers who had resided within the mysterious carnival for a long time. They were kind to her, and although they looked confident, Noone could sense they were trying to be.

Rusty asks her if she would like to go on a ride, one he considers the best as it would let her see clearly through the thick cloud around them. Noone agrees, feeling a sense of acceptance as she felt like she was part of their group, something she never felt before. The group passes by various games and booths, until they reach a giant Ferris wheel. The group sat in pairs on the ride, with her sitting alongside Rusty. As they rode up, Noone could see the entire carnival, but quickly realized the Ferris wheel was unnaturally high, like they were in the sky itself. Rusty directs her attention to two giant wooden poles that looked like masts on a ship. Noone realizes they were on a real ship high in the sky, but is unsure as to how a ship could be in the air. Rusty looks at her, noticing her confused face, knowing she had many questions. He advises her to look down onto the place they are in, rather than out into the world around them, to avoid feeling sick. He advises her that they do not have much time. As Noone sat in the ride, she noticed herself feeling a moment of ease, as if things were okay. For the first time in a long time Noone felt happy as she sat on the giant wheel. Noone looks at Rusty and notices his saddened face. Rusty’s voice shifts as he points to a massive tent he called “The Big Top,” the place he and his friends would soon go to in order to perform a big show. Despite knowing the answer, Noone asks Rusty, “You don't like performing, do you?”. With a glum face, Rusty tells Noone he hates performing. Noone further questions why he performs despite hating it so much to which he explains that “they” force him and his friends to perform, and whatever “they” say, goes.

Not knowing who “they” were, Noone suddenly feels a terrible feeling coming over her, making her realize that “they” have inflicted harm onto Rusty and his friends. Noone understands that she and Rusty were on the wheel because he could say whatever was in his heart, without fear of being hurt.

Realizing the Ferris wheel was turning around, Rusty quickly explains to her the plan he and his friends had prepared. He asks her to be a part of the special show, where they would try something that has never been done before. Rusty asks her to act as a lookout, and if she saw a man in a purple suit, then she would need to give him a signal as he walked across the tightrope. Noone questions Rusty if the man in the purple suit is the one who forces them to perform. Without answering, Rusty continues talking, telling her that in the spotlight, some glow, while others shrivel into shadows. However, as he tells her that he and the rest of the performers glow, and do what they are told, he suddenly stops, never finishing the thought. Despite Rusty never finishing his explanation, Noone understood his situation as she remembers her time on television, how sick she was of the spotlights and how she would have done anything to avoid them.

Noone agrees to be his lookout, but requests she shout a code as a signal, something only they will know of. Noone suggests she yell out “Big top” in regards to the tent he told her of, to which he agrees.

As Noone looks at Rusty staring out into the clouds, she questions if his goal is to escape the carnival, but he reveals that he aims to escape the entire rotten world they are in. The Counsellor asks Noone if Rusty was expressing knowledge of a world beyond the carnival. Up to now, Noone had never thought about the possibility that there may be other places beyond the sky she saw. She agrees as it did feel this way to her. The Counsellor further questions if the other places she saw in her past nightmares were parts of a bigger world. However, she is only sort of sure as the world feels more like the places she saw were all connected, but do not work together, comparing it to the floors of a building.

The Counsellor grows agitated as he realizes Noone withholds information from him and knows the places she saw in her dreams were all real. Though she is not sure as she doesn't know how it all works, she does feel the places she saw were all real places. Noone asks the Counsellor if he finally believes her, particularly in regards to everything he had previously attempted to cast aside as illogical from her. Despite knowing that believing such things from her would result in losing his professional license, he admits that what she says may be true, as it is the only explanation for her disappearing the night before.

The Counsellor determines that he must see the place Noone has been traveling to and see everything for himself. Noone is shocked to hear his decision as he is meant to help her avoid going to such a place. The Counsellor expresses his desperation, telling her he needs to reach the world she has seen in order to find this existing plane outside her mind.

Noone is shocked by his desperation to find the place she has seen, asking why he would want to be in such a horrific place. She is angered over his silence as she was told to be truthful and yet he is the one unwilling to do the same, refraining from answering her questions. Understanding that he cannot strain their trust any further, he takes a deep breath and reveals to Noone that he lost someone very dear to him years ago and that part of him believes they may be in the place Noone has seen.

Noone is angered to learn that the tests and experiments he has been conducting on her were never meant to help her, but to help him find the person he lost years ago. Although Noone considers her declaration against him as unfair, he is still determined to see the mysterious world. Despite his determination, Noone tells him he will not be able to see the mysterious world as he will not be able to find it. The Counsellor asks why he cannot see it for himself, to which she simply tells him the mysterious world is “Nowhere,” a place that is and isn’t. The Counsellor questions who told her this but she tries to tell him no one told her, she just knows. Although the Counsellor accuses Noone of withholding information, she knows she has always remained truthful and told him everything she knew. Since he has spent his life studying the mind and researching her, it is he who has uncovered more. He knows more about what is in her brain than her.

Noone begins to feel her anxiety increasing. After the Counsellor helps her through another breathing exercise, he tells her they must continue. Regardless of her wanting to stop the experiment, he strictly denies her request, telling her the sooner they finish, the sooner they can both be free.

Though she is upset, Noone begrudgingly continues. As she and the others made their way to the Big Top, she saw Rusty and the other performers dress up in amazing costumes. Some wore black and white with sparkles, and another a fancy red coat. Rusty takes her to the front of the stage and sits her down. As she sits in the best seat in the house, Noone could not help but feel special, but this feeling is quickly gone the moment she sees Rusty’s worried face looking around. Rusty leaves to the back stage without saying another word. As the crowd enters the tent, Noone immediately notices that the people entering were the wrong shape, describing their faces as bad drawings that have come alive. As one sat down in the seat to her left, she could see it eat a candy apple that smelled terribly, with the center mushy and raw.

As their plump bodies filled the seats that were too small for them, they ate rancid snacks. Despite feeling as if she would throw up, her attention is quickly taken as she sees the lights in the tent have all been shut off, making everyone in the tent go silent. A light shines on the stage, where a kid in the red coat performed various magic tricks that amazes everyone, including her, so much, it made her forget where she was. As the kid performs his final trick, his cloak drops and he disappears, leaving only his red coat. From the coat, two children appeared, and using the sticks they held in their hands, they blew fire from their mouths. Noone suddenly remembered that she was assigned as lookout, but as she looked around, she saw no man in a purple suit. Despite knowing she had to maintain a lookout, she continued to be distracted by the performers on the stage. As the fire breathers finished, the jugglers appeared and took their flaming sticks from them, throwing them high into the air.

Suddenly, the lights shut off to mark the final act. The spot lights relit on the stage and shined upon the top of the tent where a tightrope could be seen, along with Rusty. As Rusty walked across the rope, everyone remained silent for a long extended time, as if they were all under a spell. Suddenly, Noone notices something beside her, in the seat that was empty a moment ago. Noone realizes this was the man in the purple suit. She heard him before seeing him, but noticed he had two breaths. Terrified, Noone wonders why it was she could hear him breathing, but quickly realizes that she could feel “them” breathing. Amidst her terrified and shaking body, Noone realizes the man in the purple suit was focused on Rusty. The man in the purple suit notices she is not cheering and looks at her. Noone could see the man had no eyes but could feel he was still looking at her despite how impossible it sounded. Suddenly, she notices a small dummy sitting on his lap, but it was not made of wood or plastic, it had hair and a lumpy face, with a wider mouth carved out. Unlike the man, the puppet had eyes, staring at the spotlight above. As the crowd burst into cheers, Noone looks up and sees that Rusty was now in the middle of the rope. As the cheers went on, the dummy's face crinkled, filled with hate, wanting the cheers for himself.

Because she was the only one not clapping, the dummy turned to face her. Unsure if they spoke or if what she heard was in her head, she saw them smile and ask her if she wanted to be part of the show. Noone yells out “Big Top,” but her voice was quickly outweighed by the crowd's cheers as Rusty made it to the end of the rope. Noone notices that Rusty did not climb down the ladder, instead, he began to climb towards a tear at the top of the tent. Noone looks over to the man in the purple suit and sees the man was still next to her, but had gone limp, with his dummy gone. Noone looks back up at Rusty and sees the dummy was now near him. As she attempts to scream louder, she quickly loses her breath. She saw the dummy peering from the shadows at the top of the tent, waiting for Rusty. The man in the purple suit next to her, felt as if he both loved the praise and regretted the attention. She could hear the man slowly breathing again. As she desperately tried to shout, Noone realized it was too late as she saw Rusty climb out of the spotlight and the dummy lunge at him.

As Noone begins to suffer from an anxiety attack, the Counsellor tries to ask Noone if Rusty managed to escape, but her attention is directed towards taking off the wires on her head. Realizing that Noone’s anxiety is worsening and is now unable to focus, he attempts to calm her down by having her focus on the breathing exercise. Despite his attempts, Noone continues to fall deeper and deeper into her turmoil. Noone realizes there is something wrong with her body and she faints. The Counsellor stops the sessions and attempts to wake her up.

The Counsellor ends the recording and continues recounting the events of the session. He has determined that Noone has lost a great deal of trust in him, trust he may not be able to win back. He notes that in their session, Noone now lacked detail in her retellings and concludes it a step backwards in their progress, but believes it is the result of her being unnerved by the testing equipment. He saw her body dysmorphia has gotten worse and blames the celebrity doctor she saw before as the primary cause of her constantly fixating on parts of her body, believing that whatever the other doctor subjected Noone to, as well as all the other children, had resulted in her becoming furtive, being quiet and secretive about many things that are actually going on with her.

The Counsellor changes the subject and begins talking about the journals he unearthed from his former colleagues. He determined that although he had previously believed that what Noone saw was multiple realms, he realizes it makes more sense for all of those places to exist in a singular space to fit into the otherworldly idea. While he knows his former colleagues opinions revolve around theories, he cannot ignore what he has seen as well as the signs that prove the world Noone has seen does exist. The Counsellor ponders over why he is unable to see the world Noone has seen and concludes that there is a veil, like a two way mirror, except now he is the one on the side that cannot see through the glass, comparing his side as the side that is blind, deaf and ignorant. As he wonders about the Ferryman, he understands that although the Ferryman is a master at dream manipulation, he does not belong in their world, yet he is the proof of a connection between their worlds given he is able to interact with Noone, a child not of his world. The Counsellor is determined to figure out how the Ferryman is able to cross between worlds so that he may finally cross into the world Noone calls “Nowhere.”

## Characters

* Noone
* The Counsellor
* Cici (mentioned)
* The Candleman (mentioned)
* Rehabilitated Children
* The Performing Children
	+ Rusty
* The Man in the Purple Suit
* The Dummy
* The Carnival People

## Trivia

* This is the only chapter where the Candleman does not make an appearance.

## Videos

The Sounds of Nightmares – Chapter 4- Two of a Kind