TRP: Goro, Hansel, Leigh, and Marion (Grangers)

Word Count: 16417

**Lina:** at 10:54 PM

[Setting: Shepherd Hills, Day 187.]

At least there were enough homes in this village that he
should be able to find some place to sleep, even if it wasn't Shepherd Fucking
Hills after all.

He was reasonably sure he'd navigated correctly, but he'd
looked at the map so often it had become nonsensical to him, like hearing a
word over and over until it loses all meaning. For all he knew he'd wound up on
the wrong side of the fucking continent. He'd knock on someone's door and they'd
be speaking Elvish when they opened up.

That was not what happened, thankfully. A human woman
answered the door of the first house he tried. "Sorry to bother you so
late, madam," Goro said, bowing his head hastily. His shield was strapped
to his back, not so obvious--he'd noticed that people in these deeply rural
areas often got nervous at any indication somebody was armed. But he made sure
his robes were visible, unobscured by his cloak. "I've been traveling all
day and through the evening. Am I in Shepherd Hills?"

"You are," she replied, sounding uncertain.

Thank fuckin' Mask. "Oh, thank Helm. I'm looking for
the Granger household. Can you help me?"

She pointed him in the right direction and told him how to
recognize their farm. Then she tried to tithe him a copper, and for once in his
fucking life, he was so genuinely grateful he refused it.

.

Goro found the farm with no trouble, but he didn't go
straight to the door. Instead he stayed a few hundred feet from the house for a
while, lurking. He probably looked like shit and didn't smell much better. He
crouched down and used a couple handfuls of snow to try and wipe any dirt off
his face--he didn't have a mirror, so he didn't know how successful he was.
Might've just smeared it around. He scrubbed a little through his hair, too,
which was probably sticking up all over the place. Then he just sat for a
while, taking in the scene. There wasn't much to see in the dark, and it wasn't
like he was all that familiar with farms besides, but based on what he'd seen
on this trip alone he could tell the Granger farm was in reasonably good
repair. These weren't wealthy people, but they took good care of their
property. It was in working condition.

Huh. Hansel's parents might have had other children after
Hansel left. There could be a whole gaggle of Grangers crammed into that little
house. The thought made Goro more nervous than he already was, but oh fucking
well. It was getting late. He was cold.

He stood up, steeling himself. His heart pounded anyway as
he approached the door and knocked on it. (Gently, gently, don't alarm them.)

**Izzy:** at 11:19 PM

The fireplace had made it toasty in the cabin -- almost too
much so. Warm enough to make Hansel drowsy, but too warm to climb up into the
loft and try to sleep. His flask had been empty for days and he hadn't wanted
to go into town to refill it, which was probably just as well, but his hands
felt a bit pointless without the flask to occupy him. He was starting to get
why some of the Runners smoked and why Mishka had that fidget toy and why Leigh
whittled.

He was cleaning up the kitchen now, but the pile of shavings
was still on the table, and Hansel was trying to convince himself to get up
from the couch and help clean them up when there was a knock at the door. He
tried to rouse himself for that, too, but he was so goddamn comfortable and
sleepy.

Strange, though. A visitor so late at night. He pushed
himself upright as his mother crossed the room to answer the door, frowning a
bit herself. Like when Mishka had shown up, Hansel couldn't see who it was,
just saw his mother's reaction -- a bit taken aback, blinking.

"Goodness," she said. "Are you all
right?"

Scammers, he thought immediately. Bandits. Thieves. Just
waiting for some kind-hearted farmer to open the door so they could come in and
steal everything. Well, not in his fucking house. He stood and drew an axe and
waited for the next move.(edited)

**Lina:** at 11:27 PM

"Oh. Uh. Yeah." Shit, he must have looked even
worse than he thought. He ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I'm,
uh..." Hell, what was he doing? His head was suddenly blank.

This...

This was Hansel's mother. He stared at her, slack-jawed,
overwhelmed. Hansel's face, but on a human woman.

Is Hansel home? was all he had to say, but nothing came out.
His eyes were wet, and he blinked a few times.

**Izzy:** at 11:36 PM

Hang the fuck on. Hansel hesitated. It was harder to be sure
from just a few broken syllables, but ... Surely fucking not. He was hearing
shit. Wishful thinking, or -- something.

His mother's expression turned very concerned. She stepped
back from the door a bit and gently asked, "Would you like to come in?
I'll make you some tea."

**Lina:** at 11:37 PM

"Is Hansel home?" he blurted. There.

**Izzy:** at 11:46 PM

Well ... fuck, there wasn't any getting around that.

Marion glanced his way, just as she had with Mishka, but
didn't seem to be able to read his expression this time. She looked back to
Goro uncertainly and offered an, "Ah."

Hansel crept around the edge of the door. God, Goro looked
... fucking awful, and miserable. Hansel wanted to scoop him up and kiss him
and make him sit by the fire, wrap him in a blanket and in his arms and whisper
to him until he felt better, but -- fuck, shit, goddammit, he just stood there
stupidly instead, not knowing how to react. Waiting for something bad to
happen. Shit had been going too well lately, all things considered -- he was
waiting for some karmic bullshit to happen and Goro would be the right vessel
for it.

**Lina:** at 11:55 PM

Ah. And there was Hansel.

Just kinda... staring at him.

He didn't look mad, or anything, but he didn't grab Goro and
invite him in or anything--but his mother had invited Goro in, and Goro had
been rude and not even responded, and now they were both just staring at him,
and--

Oh no. Oh, no.

He ducked his head, covering his eyes, and breathed in
shakily. "I, uh... oh, f--god, I'm. I'm sorry."

It was too late to undo this. Hey, can I sleep in your
fucking barn? Nah, I got my own food. Thanks.

February 5, 2019

**Izzy:** at 12:07 AM

Ah, fuck. Shit. This was getting worse. Hansel's mother gave
him an alarmed look, and he heard Leigh coming up behind them to see what was
going on. Maybe Hansel should step out on the porch and talk to Goro quietly?
So they wouldn't be staring at him? But it was fucking cold out there, and --
god, he just looked so --

Hansel slipped past Marion to grab Goro's sleeve and drag
him in, but -- not to his chest, like he usually did, like he wanted to,
because he didn't know if that would be okay. He wasn't really sure what the fuck
was going on. Why Goro was here, why he was ... apologizing. But it was fucking
cold out and Hansel couldn't just leave him there.

Marion shut the door as Hansel directed Goro over to the
fire, and then, shit, he ran his hand through Goro's messy, damp hair without
thinking about it, smoothing it out a bit, and --

Hansel just wanted to kiss him. He opened and closed his
mouth instead, and held Goro by the elbows, and kept not fucking knowing what
to do. Leigh was looking between them behind Goro's back, puzzled, and he felt
sure Marion was doing the same behind his, but he didn't know what to say to
them, either.

**Lina:** at 12:22 AM

Being inside, being warm, getting his blood flowing
again--it just made him more fuckin' emotional. He kept trying to hide his
face, but it was getting a little too fucking obvious he was crying, what with
the hiccupping gasps and the sniffling and the frantic rubbing at his eyes.

At least there weren't like twenty of them, as he feared.
The young guy, he figured, was Leigh--only possibility given his age and how
much he looked like Hansel. Goro hadn't even seen any sign of the stepdad yet.

Hansel's mother had offered him tea, and hell if a hot drink
didn't sound amazing. He felt bad asking for it, though, now that the moment
had passed. Felt awkward as fuck standing there in her little house, unable to
stop crying, and Hansel obviously not having a clue what to do with him.

Goro didn't know what to do with himself, either.

"Um," he said, rubbing his eyes and looking past Hansel
at his mother. He tried to think of something to say. "Can I sleep in your
barn?"

**Izzy:** at 12:30 AM

"What? No," Hansel said, before his mom could
respond. "That's stupid. You're sleeping in the fucking house. God.
What?"

Eldath. What the fuck was going on here. Mishka wasn't
fucking mad at him, Goro wasn't fucking mad at him, he was just -- fucking sad,
and -- fuck. Hansel didn't know what to do but -- he wasn't sure, when he
thought about it, if hugging Goro had ever been the wrong choice, and selfishly
he just really fucking wanted to, so before Goro could say anything else
fucking strange, Hansel wrapped his arms around him and held him tight enough
to lift his feet off the floor.

Marion moved past him to start making tea, as if this were
all completely normal.

**Lina:** at 12:39 AM

Well, that had to be a good sign, Hansel hugging him and
telling him he was going to sleep inside and all. Goro crossed "will send
me straight back to Glimmerton" off his mental list of concerns.

And his mom was making the tea after all. Alright. This was
good. Nothing to be worked up about. Later, he'd definitely scream and beat
Hansel's chest and demand to know why Hansel didn't love him enough to stay
with him, but he'd spare the rest of the family from having to watch it.

When he'd pulled himself together reasonably well--still
sniffling some, but no more tears--he stepped back from Hansel so he could turn
around and get a look at the brother.

"Uh, hi. Leigh?" He wiped his tear-soaked hand off
on the front of his robe and offered it to shake.

**Izzy:** at 12:54 AM

Goro settled down, after a bit. All right. No shoving away
from him -- not that that really would've made much sense, coming all this way
and crying and apologizing and then telling him to fuck off. Although that was
very nearly what Hansel'd done when he'd gotten here. He hadn't known what the
hell he'd been doing. Maybe Goro didn't either, but goddamn -- to even make it
here -- he had to have some fucking idea driving him.

Hansel let him pull away, a little reluctantly. Just wanted
to crush the sadness out of him. Told himself Goro was okay, or -- he would be.

Leigh appraised him and reached out to shake his hand
warily. "Yup."

"Ah, this is Goro," Hansel filled in quickly.

"Oh." Leigh drew in a sharp, brief breath, raising
his eyebrows, and gave Goro another look-over. "The boyfriend.
Right."

Their mother intercepted this awkward exchange to blow the
steam off a mug of tea and hold it out to Goro silently.

**Lina:** at 12:59 AM

Goro accepted the mug, gratefully wrapping his fingers
around it. "Thank you. Ma'am." Ah, fuck, was that... shit...
"Mrs. Granger." No? Maybe. He sipped the tea to hide his
embarrassment, scalding his tongue and his throat.

**Izzy:** at 1:02 AM

"Marion," she said kindly. "Marion is fine.
You should sit down, sweetheart."

She put a hand on his shoulder to nudge him towards the
table, glancing at Hansel, and he took the hint and stepped past Goro swiftly
to pull a chair out for him, standing next to it.

**Lina:** at 1:07 AM

Yeah, a chair sounded real fucking nice. It'd been a while.
Goro accepted Marion's nudging and walked to the table, taking the chair Hansel
pulled out for him, letting out an involuntary sigh.

**Izzy:** at 1:27 AM

All right. Yeah. This was fine. Fucking weird, but okay.
Hansel lingered next to the chair, feeling like he was probably supposed to sit
down, but what he wanted to do was sit at the table, or on the couch, and drag
Goro into his lap and hold him again and -- ask why he was here, but that was a
terrifying fucking question and he didn't actually know if he wanted an answer
to it.

Hansel just stood there behind him for a second, instead,
but he couldn't keep his hands to himself and he found himself running his
fingers through Goro's hair again, straightening it out -- looked like he'd
fucking fallen out a goddamn tree and into a snow drift, no wonder he was cold
-- but just wanting to touch him and pet him and make him feel better more than
he cared about how he looked. Then he leaned over to rest his arms around
Goro's shoulders gently and his lips against the top of his head, kissing him a
couple times and sighing against him.

He looked to his mom questioningly. What do I do? Like she
would know. She just watched them with something like amusement. Hansel still
hadn't mentioned that he'd fought with Goro. No doubt this made even less sense
to her than it did to him -- she probably just found the over-the-top affection
endearing. Probably just thought Goro was crying because he'd missed Hansel.
Probably wondered how many more husbands and boyfriends might show up at her
door at odd hours if Hansel kept hanging around.

After a second, though, she nodded decisively and gestured.
"Leigh, help me get something in the other room." He moved to joined
her immediately, and the two of the disappeared into the back room, shutting
the door.

Hansel curled a hand in Goro's cloak and hugged him again,
as best he could from this angle. He had a fucking mental list of shit he
needed to say, but none of it was coming out just yet.

**Lina:** at 10:02 AM

Goro closed his eyes while Hansel ran his fingers through
his hair, savoring the chills it gave him down his spine. He sipped his tea,
finally starting to feel better, physically. He hadn't even noticed he wasn't
feeling great, before. Too numb.

This was not how he'd pictured his arrival going. It was
fine, though. Maybe he could just... pretend everything was fine. Pretend
things were normal. Like he'd come along with Hansel on this trip, just as he'd
thought he would at first.

Then, Marion led Leigh out of the room. Damn, that woman was
a sharp cookie. Goro liked her. (Was he supposed to? What about the shitty
childhood? Maybe it was all the stepdad's fault. Where the hell was he?)

Somehow, pretending things were normal became harder when it
was just him and Hansel in the room. Goro hunched, ducking over his tea.(edited)

**Izzy:** at 1:50 PM

Hansel pulled away when Goro hunched down, immediately
thinking, Yep, fair, obviously, but he hadn't seemed to mind Hansel messing
with his hair -- relaxed a bit, even, maybe. Only shifted away when Hansel's
family left the room. Ah.

Goro didn't want to be alone with him.

Maybe Hansel should go ask his mom to come back, so Goro
would be more comfortable. He'd grab a blanket off the spare bed and crash on
the couch, and Leigh could show Goro up to the loft to get some rest. He might
need to eat first -- Hansel could make him something but then he'd back off,
leave him alone. Goro clearly needed sleep more than anything. He didn't need
Hansel to fucking bother him, whatever he was doing here. He'd leave in the morning
and keep --

Hansel realized he was doing that thing he did, where he
thought he was planning ahead and being clever but he was actually fucking
losing his mind. Settle down. You're making a lot of assumptions, neshama,
Mishka would point out to him gently, and advise him to start over from the
beginning.

Goro didn't want to be alone with him, but he'd come all
this way through the cold and asked for him at the fucking door. Hansel moved
to drag a chair around the table next to Goro and sit down to face him, still
stalling for a second, then carefully asking, "Goro, what the fuck are you
doing here?" Not accusatory. Fucking confused, and quiet.

**Lina:** at 2:03 PM

Goro chewed his lip for a while, thinking. There were a hell
of a lot of answers he could give to that, and he wanted to pick the right damn
one.

That meant not the defensive one. What, not happy to see me?
Or accusatory. What are you doing here? Or bitter. You know, I should ask
myself the same goddamn question. Maybe not even desperate. I had to come. I
need you.

Simple. Straightforward. The honest reason he'd been spurred
out of his bedroom.

"I told you I'd come find you, wherever that thing took
you," he grumbled into his tea.

**Izzy:** at 2:23 PM

Hansel winced. Gruumsh hadn't fucking taken him here. That
was -- then Goro was wrong, and once Hansel told him, then he'd be pissed and
he'd leave and he'd --

Nope. Hansel was doing it again. Fucking calm down.

"I, uh." Yeah, that was a fuckin' response.
"Listen, it's not like -- listen, I didn't fucking --." He was so
goddamn close to saying, I didn't leave because of Gruumsh, I left because of
you, but that sure as fuck wasn't the right thing to say, wasn't fair at all.
"Gruumsh didn't make me leave. I just -- fucking left." And you
shouldn't've come after me would just make Goro feel like he wasn't wanted
here. Ah, fuck.

He didn't know what to fucking say. Goddammit. He leaned
over and rubbed his face with both hands and sighed.

**Lina:** at 2:33 PM

Oh, well, then I'll just see myself out, was Goro's first
thought. Be a fucking manipulative brat. He was good at it. Amari would tell
him to "be the bigger person," though. Ma, I can't, have you seen the
size of Hansel? Hah, he was fucking hilarious. What a riot.

He gritted his teeth. "I know Gruumsh didn't make you,
dipshit. But you left because of Gruumsh. Right? Did I get that fucking right?
Because you didn't want the people you love to hurt anyone else trying to save
you?"

**Izzy:** at 2:42 PM

Oh. So Mishka had shared that letter. He wasn't surprised,
he guessed -- just hadn't thought about it. Hadn't been thinking about too
fucking much at all, that night.

"Right," he said slowly. It wasn't a fucking
excuse, but -- "Yeah, I -- I shouldn't've -- fucked off, just --."
He'd admitted I was fucking scared to Mishka but he couldn't make the words
come out in front of Goro and hated himself for it. "Figured if you
couldn't save me anyway, you wouldn't do anything to Griffin. Or if you --
didn't care anymore, that'd be fine too."

**Lina:** at 2:48 PM

Goro stared, trying to make sense of those words.

"If I didn't... care anymore," he said slowly.
"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

He had a bad fucking feeling he knew. A sinking in his gut.

**Izzy:** at 2:57 PM

"If --." Hansel sighed through his teeth.
"Look, I don't fuckin' expect you to fucking forgive me. I keep saying
shit about staying with you and then I fuck off when you're -- hurt, and drunk,
I mean -- I didn't think there'd be much fucking coming back from that."

**Lina:** at 3:01 PM

"Yeah? And was that the desired outcome, shall we say?
You trying to get me to stop caring about you?"

**Izzy:** at 3:03 PM

"Fuckin' ... no," he mumbled. "Of course not.
But it's fuckin' better than more good people goddamn dying because I'm too
chickenshit."

**Lina:** at 3:08 PM

"Well, thank god. For a second there I thought you were
taking a page out of Mishka's book. Hurt the person you love, drive him off
'cause you think it's what's best for everyone involved."

Felt shitty, actually, ragging on Mishka when he wasn't even
there. Mishka was the one who'd been there for Goro when Hansel fucked off, the
one who had the wherewithal from the beginning to go after Hansel. Sorry, love,
he thought, like it made a difference.

**Izzy:** at 3:17 PM

Hansel grumbled. Yeah, maybe. Maybe he'd tried to tell
himself something like that, but maybe he'd been so fucking bad at actually
pulling it off for a different reason. "No. I know what's fuckin' best for
me, and maybe I'm just too goddamn selfish to've cared if it's better for you
or not. Maybe I get to be fuckin' selfish about my own goddamn life. Maybe you
don't get to fuckin' make me stick around and be goddamn miserable about
fucking up Raef and Griffin's happiness when I could just fucking leave and
keep them safe."

**Lina:** at 3:46 PM

"But... what..." Goro pointed at himself, prodding
at his chest. "What about me? What about my happiness and keeping me
safe?" In some distant part of his mind, he was aware he sounded like a
little fucking kid--me, me, me, me--but he'd lost all ability to set it aside.
So much for being the bigger person. "I walked here, for a week, in the
snow, by myself and I was fucking miserable, and I don't know if you'd have
given a shit--" He was done crying, all out of tears, but his chest felt
like it was caving in from sobbing anyway. He collapsed forward, forearms on
the table.

This was fucking happening again, wasn't it? He was losing
his fucking mind. He'd deluded himself. He pushed himself up, out of his chair,
and made for the front door.

**Izzy:** at 3:58 PM

Ah, fuck. Fuck. He'd tried so fucking hard to tell Goro this
isn't your fault, I love you, don't blame yourself for this, you're good, you're
so fucking good, and -- fuck.

"Goro, no --." Hansel grabbed his wrist to keep
him from going back outside. "Look, don't fuckin' -- go out in the goddamn
snow and shit again, okay, I don't want you to fucking freeze to death."
Had a hard time getting that one through his head, seemed like. "I want
you to spend the night. But I didn't fucking ask you to come here. I didn't
fucking want you to follow me, or I'd've fucking said that." His hand
twitched and he let go of Goro's arm. "You'll fuckin' be happier and safer
if I'm not in the goddamn picture."

**Lina:** at 4:12 PM

"I'll find somewhere else to go," Goro said,
starting for the door again. Maybe that lady who'd given him directions
earlier. Or maybe--the most petulant part of him decided he'd sleep under a
tree, and let Hansel find a Goro-shaped icicle in his yard in the morning.
Serve him right.

**Izzy:** at 4:17 PM

"No, look --." Hansel knew he wasn't doing himself
any fucking favors, here, and the more he said the worse it was going to get,
but he wasn't just letting Goro wander off in an unfamiliar town and hope
someone'd take pity on the strange half-elf. He tugged Goro back again by his
sleeve, and slipped around to put himself himself in front of the door, letting
go straight away and holding his hands up.

"I'll fuckin' go somewhere else." Sleep in the
barn maybe. Not a lot of friendly options for half-orcs, either, but the goats
wouldn't care. "Stay here. You don't need to fuckin' go back outside like
this." He glanced over Goro's shoulder to the bedroom door. His mom'd
agree with him. She'd looked so worried about the state Goro was in -- she'd take
care of him.

**Lina:** at 4:22 PM

Goro aimed a punch at Hansel's gut--figuring it wouldn't be
enough to hurt him, but to get his point across--and succeeded mainly in
bruising his own knuckles, somehow. "Ow," he muttered under his
breath, clutching his hand to his chest. Then, louder, "Fuckin' move. Let
me out."

**Izzy:** at 4:23 PM

"No. Fuck you. I'm not letting you wander off into the
fucking cold."

**Lina:** at 4:24 PM

"Why the fuck not? Why do you fucking care?"

**Izzy:** at 4:28 PM

"I fucking love you, you idiot, I don't want you to
fucking die." He realized he'd raised his voice and made himself lower it
again, but it just came out vicious. "You don't fucking get that? You're
the one that said you just cared about me not getting fuckin' killed or
possessed, like it didn't fucking matter if I was goddamn miserable the entire
fucking time I was alive."

**Lina:** at 4:33 PM

"I don't fucking believe you!" he yelled.
"You fucking care more about Raef and Griffin than you do about me! Fuck
you!"

**Izzy:** at 4:43 PM

"No I fucking don't." He grit his teeth, glanced
over Goro's shoulder and saw the bedroom door opening -- shit, shit, this
wasn't the time for this to come out. He grabbed Goro's collar and pulled him
close, hissing, "Listen to me, you little motherfucker, my entire fucking
crew died because I was too much of a fucking coward to kill myself first, and
I'm not fucking living through that shit again, I fucking can't, I fucking
won't, but don't you try to make it goddamn sound like I'm just being --
fucking spiteful and I don't love you."

"Hansel?" Marion was half out of the bedroom.
Hansel could see Leigh's hands on her arm, trying to pull her back in.

"We're fine." He let go of Goro. "It's
fine."

**Lina:** at 4:57 PM

Goro swayed, off-balance, for a moment when Hansel let go of
him. Then he lunged forward, throwing his arms around Hansel's neck, dragging
himself up onto his toes to hug Hansel as tight as he could.

If that's how it was gonna be, fine. Fine.

**Izzy:** at 5:01 PM

Marion narrowed her eyes and let Leigh drag her away,
closing the door behind her.

Hesitantly, he hugged Goro back. Goro always did this shit
to him. He never knew what to goddamn expect, but sure, yeah -- if this was
what was happening now, he'd take it. Better than Goro punching him and yelling
about how Hansel didn't love him.

**Lina:** at 5:08 PM

"I'll do it your way, asshole, but you have to give me
a fucking chance. You can't just leave." Goro choked on the word, and had
to remind himself this wasn't about him. It was about saving Hansel. "I
know I'm fucking... small, and weak, and I'm not good for anything besides a
few fucking spells any asshole with five years in the Church could manage, but
you should know, I..."

Hell. He was going to say something about how his love for
Hansel was as big and warm as the sun, but fuck if that didn't sound so cheesy
it made him want to keel over dead. He hid his face against Hansel's neck.

**Izzy:** at 5:16 PM

He wanted to argue I gave you a fucking chance, I asked you
-- and you were a fucking asshole about it, and I didn't want -- but Goro had
been fucking drunk, and then Hansel had walked away from him and Goro had just
chased him down and asked where he was going and what he'd done, and --

"Okay." He held Goro tighter. "All right.
Listen, I -- I know I fucked up, I'm sorry I left, I was --." So fucking
scared. "You're not fuckin' small and weak, all right, I was fucking
afraid you'd do something and I wouldn't be able to goddamn stop you in time,
and -- look, if Gruumsh is fuckin' scared of you, what fucking chance do I
have, y'know?"

**Lina:** at 5:23 PM

"No. No, that's--not what I meant." Goro suddenly
felt fucking tired, and he couldn't do this anymore. Not standing up, anyway.
He tried to squirm free. Hah, not weak. Fucking hilarious. "Let me go. I
need to sit down."

**Izzy:** at 5:27 PM

"No. Fuck you." Hansel picked him up instead, and
carried him the couple of steps over to the couch to sit down with him, not
letting him go at all, even for a second, in case it was all an act and he
fucking bolted for the door again. (Which -- Hansel knew wasn't likely -- but
just to be fucking sure -- not like he wanted to let go of Goro anyway.)

**Lina:** at 5:37 PM

Okay, fine. Good enough. Goro resisted the temptation to do
his usual face-burying, though. He turned his head as far away from Hansel as
he could get it, and closed his eyes. Damn, he knew he'd had something he
wanted to say, but now it felt like... too much. Ten--no, eleven days' worth of
thoughts, all vying for importance in his head, demanding to be said aloud.

"You know you've never written me any letters or
anything?"

The fuck. That was the one that came out? Alright.

**Izzy:** at 5:48 PM

"Uh." That was true, he guessed. They'd also
fucking lived together for as long as they'd been together -- before then,
even, on the ship -- up until the past week and a half. And then he'd been
pretty sure he'd fucked things up irreparably, and that it was for the best, so
not really prime fuckin' letter-writing time. He also had no idea what that had
to do with any goddamn thing. "I mean ... I can, if you want. I'm not good
at it, though."

**Lina:** at 6:06 PM

Goro didn't respond to that. It was missing the point, and
Hansel couldn't be blamed for not getting the point when Goro said bizarre shit
like that out of nowhere. I don't know if I even would have recognized your
handwriting before didn't exactly clear things up in a meaningful way, either.

"Hansel, I..." He stopped, and just breathed.
Still not sure what he wanted to say. "I know I haven't known you for very
long, but... alright, when I say I'm small, I mean it like... if you counted up
all the days in your life in total, then counted just the days that I'm in,
that's a small amount. Right? You with me?"

**Izzy:** at 6:09 PM

"Right," Hansel said slowly. He felt like he knew
where this was going, but he was going to let Goro say it and not fucking jump
ahead like he always did.

**Lina:** at 6:31 PM

"It's... little." Goro shook his head, eyes still
closed. "But for me--well, I guess it's the same fucking thing, in the
literal sense. But even though I haven't known you for very long, somehow, when
I fell in love with you, what happened is it spread... everywhere. It touched
everything. Ah, fuck, I sound like a nutcase. Listen, the point is, I don't
know if you know how much you mean to me, but it's big. I think being with you
is the only time I've ever been... happy."

He slapped a hand over his face. Sounded stupid. God damn
it, why did Hansel have to be holding him while he explained this? Goro wanted
to be loose, curled up into a ball, preferably under a table or something.

"So fuck you. You don't just get to take that away,
asshole." He thought about that a little more, and added sadly,
"Well, I mean, I guess you do get to. But you fucking shouldn't."

**Izzy:** at 6:52 PM

Ah. Fuck. That was even worse than he'd thought. That was
fucking terrifying. That was too much responsibility, being the cause of -- all
of Goro's happiness. It was terrifying and it was fucking sad to consider, that
they were near enough the same age and it'd taken Goro this long to find
anything that lit him up. Hansel had gotten to feel that with Taavit, and with
Mishka, and -- it wasn't fucking fair that Goro had been alone. And it was
fucking stressful that fucking Hansel was the one who was here for this. He
wasn't worth all of that love.

It made a lot of fucking sense, though, that Goro was so
ready to toss Griffin and Raef aside for Hansel. He still didn't have to like
it, but he fucking got it.

"Okay," he said softly, and cupped Goro's cheek to
make him face him again -- not to make Goro look at him, but just so he could
kiss Goro's forehead, and angle his face down to kiss the top of his head and
rest there. "Okay. I understand. Goddammit, Goro. Look, you're not fucking
-- small to me, all right? You're not fucking small. I don't want you to
fucking think that. You're not. I love you. I'm sorry."

He wanted to say, There are bigger things than love. There
are bigger things than either of our happiness, or Mishka's, or anyone's.

He wanted to say, I'm so fucking afraid, and that's bigger than
anything, and that's what touches all of me.

But that wouldn't be useful. That would just make them both
fucking miserable. So he kissed Goro's head again and said, "I don't want
to hurt you. I'll try really fucking hard to not take away your happiness."

**Lina:** at 7:06 PM

"Ah, jeez, listen. I didn't mean it like... well, no. I
fucking did. I meant everything I just said. But I don't mean I'm just gonna
sit here and let you make me happy and not give a shit about what you want. It
should go both ways, alright? I'm just saying, don't you dare tell me I'd be
safer and happier without you, because it's not true. It's not fucking true,
you hear me?"

**Izzy:** at 7:11 PM

"I fuckin' hear you." Hansel scowled. "I'm
not fucking rolling over, here. I said I'd goddamn try. I can't promise you
anything except that I'll try." He paused. "And I'll fuckin' ... calm
down and give you a chance, next time. I won't fuck off again. I get it."

**Lina:** at 7:35 PM

Goro pulled back so he could look Hansel in the eye. First time
he'd done it, really, since he got here. He put his hand on Hansel's cheek, and
for a second, it almost was like everything was normal. Like they were back
home.

"I've been walking for a damn week to get here,"
Goro muttered. "Kind of got lost, a couple times. Will you come home with
me now? I mean, not right this second. In a few days. When you're done
visiting. Or, hell, we can bring your family with us. There's room."

**Izzy:** at 7:44 PM

Hansel opened his mouth and shut it, wincing. Shit. Right,
now there was ... this part. It'd been easier to tell Mishka -- figured he'd
get it -- but this was harder.

"I, uh. I need to stay." Nah, didn't need to, that
wasn't fucking true. "I mean, I don't -- I mean I want to. I'm just going
fuckin' stir-crazy at the castle, there's nothing for me to goddamn do with
everyone off fuckin' spying and shit, and -- at least I can make myself useful
around here."

**Lina:** at 7:47 PM

"What? For how fucking long?"

**Izzy:** at 7:53 PM

"I don't fuckin' know, I --." He could say some
shit about how Leigh needed his help, but he pretty clearly didn't -- he'd been
getting along perfectly fine without Hansel around. That wasn't the point,
anyway. "I'm not just leaving, all right, that's not what this is about.
If you want -- I mean, I fucking want you to visit, and I'll come back if you
need me or whenever I fuckin' feel like it, and I'll write letters and you can
be real fuckin' unimpressed by'em -- it ain't like I wanna fucking be apart
from you and Mishka, okay? I just can't sit my ass around the castle with
nothing to do but worry about Roddy and Jonn and when the next time Gruumsh is
gonna fuckin' show up and try to wreck my goddamn life'll be. I gotta fuckin'
do things or I'm gonna lose my goddamn mind."

**Lina:** at 7:55 PM

"I'll... I'll come up with things for you to do,"
Goro said weakly.

**Izzy:** at 7:59 PM

He sighed and winced again and pulled Goro in to kiss his
head. "Don't ... fucking do that. I'm not some kid you need to entertain
or a fuckin' energetic dog that needs more walks, all right? I need a project,
I don't need to be your fuckin' project."

**Lina:** at 8:07 PM

Goro let himself rest against Hansel's chest. He squeezed
his eyes shut. God damn it, Larkin, why didn't you let him fix your house?

"I get it. I understand." He ran his hands along
Hansel, looking for something to grab, and settled for handfuls of his shirt.
"I just wish I could be... enough."

**Izzy:** at 8:20 PM

He was breaking Hansel's fucking heart, and this was
probably the fucking best case scenario -- Goro wasn't pissed at him, and they
were fine, and he didn't have to go back to the castle to make amends -- and
his chest was still fucking aching from doing this. Maybe if he just -- just
made himself go back, and stay, he could fuckin' tough it out until the
Sanguines weren't a problem anymore, and Jonn was safe, and then they could go
fucking kill Gruumsh. That was something he could work with. That would be
fine. If he just -- if he could just make it that far without losing his damn
mind --

It wasn't going to work. He knew it wasn't. He'd been too
fucking restless and all over the goddamn place lately and he couldn't push it
any fucking further.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I really will
fucking write you letters." He kissed Goro's hair. "And look, there's
this Silvanus Sanctuary that's only about a day away, and they've got a
teleportation circle, so I'm not gonna be that fucking far off. I'll come see
you." Kissed him again. "You're too fucking important -- you're too
good at that clever shit, they need you back home. And you're too fucking
important to me for me to stay away. Okay?"

**Lina:** at 8:34 PM

"Alright. I get it. I do. I want... I want you to do
what's best for you. Contrary to that fucking bullshit you said before, I do
actually want you to be happy, alright? Jackass." Goro lifted his face up
to kiss Hansel's chin, then hid it against his chest again. "I just... I'm
telling myself it's not 'cause of me, that you're not trying to get away from
me, and I'm trying to make myself believe it. But it's hard. I don't know. It's
so fucking hard. Keep telling me."

**Izzy:** at 8:40 PM

"All right." Hansel crushed him about as hard as
he figured he could without cracking his ribs, for a moment, then let up and
straightened, only taking one arm away from Goro to grab a piece of paper off
the little table by the couch, and a pen.

He scribbled:

Goro,

I love you. I'm not leaving you. I love you. I'm coming
back. I love you. It's okay. I love you. Don't forget it, jackass. I love you.

- Hansel

Then he crumpled it up and shoved it into Goro's hand, and
wrapped both arms around him again and kissed the top of his head.

**Lina:** at 8:49 PM

Goro uncrumpled the note and held it up to an angle he could
read it at while trapped in Hansel's arms.

He read it over a few times. Then he counted. Counted again,
to make sure.

"Now I have seven, too," he said. He closed his
eyes, folded the note so it fit neatly in his palm, and held it close to his
chest.

**Izzy:** at 8:56 PM

Hansel didn't ask. He figured if Goro wanted to explain
himself, he would -- the important thing was that it seemed to make him happy.
That was enough for Hansel.

He rubbed Goro's back. "I'll write more. I'll keep
fuckin' telling you."

**Lina:** at 8:59 PM

"Alright. Good. Enough about me, though." Goro
straightened up, arranging himself on Hansel's lap so he could look down at
him. Be the taller one. That had been good, before, that day out on the pier.
"Tell me what I gotta do to make you happy. Apparently keeping fuckin'
Griffin alive, god, fine. What else?"

**Izzy:** at 9:03 PM

"Didn't you fuckin' ask me that before?" Hansel
didn't really remember the context or what he'd said. It wasn't something he
tended to think about, just -- being happy. It was a tiring question.

**Lina:** at 9:04 PM

"Did I? Well, obviously I didn't get a good enough
answer. Maybe this time we can get it right."

**Izzy:** at 9:11 PM

"C'mere, jackass." Hansel pulled him back down by
his collar to kiss him.

He could say, Goro, there's a fucking hole in me like an
oceanic trench and I only get by in life by not paying it too much attention,
and you've gotta stop fucking asking me to look at it.

But he said, "This makes me happy," instead. He
said, "I just wanna fuckin' be with you, and Mishka, and my goddamn kids,
and I want my crew and my family to be safe and happy. And if I can't fuckin'
make'em be safe, I just -- need something else I can make work so I'm not
sitting around thinking about it. All right?"

**Lina:** at 9:16 PM

"Yeah. Uh, I'm gonna need a list of everyone you
consider your 'crew,' so I don't accidentally try to off any of 'em."

**Izzy:** at 9:17 PM

Hansel gave him a blank look. "Maybe just don't fuckin'
kill people if I know them. Just to be on the safe side."

**Lina:** at 9:17 PM

"Shut the fuck up. That's too restrictive."

**Izzy:** at 9:18 PM

"All right, fuckin' Gavi then. You can kill her."

**Lina:** at 9:19 PM

Goro rolled his eyes. "This is backwards. I told you, I
need a Do Not Kill list, not a kill list."

**Izzy:** at 9:21 PM

"Good fuckin' god." Hansel scoffed. "Sure.
I'll send it to you in a fuckin' letter. Might take me a while."

**Lina:** at 9:22 PM

"That's fair. I'll hold off on murdering until you get
it to me." Goro gave him a kiss. "What else do I need to know?"

**Izzy:** at 9:25 PM

"Dunno. You fuckin' fishing for something, here?"

**Lina:** at 9:26 PM

"For once in my life, no, it's not a trick question. I
want to know what I can do to make you happy. Besides... well... I know some
things already. You wanna hear my list?"

**Izzy:** at 9:27 PM

Well, that sounded like an easy out, so Hansel said,
"Sure."

**Lina:** at 9:39 PM

"Alright. Things that make Hansel happy." Goro
looked toward the ceiling and started counting off on his fingers.
"Listening to the people you love talk to each other, provided they're
getting along. Lying in bed, or on a couch, cuddled up, not quite awake but not
sleeping, either. You like to be still, then. That's the only time you like to
be still, though. The rest of the time, moving makes you happy. Working.
Cooking. Just fuckin' walking around, acting like you're checking on shit. Hey,
there's an idea, maybe you should take up some sorta craft to keep your hands
busy, like..." He waved toward the little wood carvings lined up on the
mantle. "Are those your brother's? You should get into that. Anyway."

Goro looked down at his hand and kept putting up fingers.
"Kissing the tops of heads. You like listening to me talk, but not when I
try and force you to talk back. Hah. That's what's going on right now. You like
it when I boss you around, as long as I'm not telling you to do something like
take care of yourself. The sea--god, Hansel, you fucking love the sea, but it
scares you also, and that's... the saddest fucking thing."

Goro kept looking at his hand, feeling like he probably
shouldn't have said that. And now he couldn't remember what else he had to
follow it up with.

**Izzy:** at 9:56 PM

Hansel started out amused, because Goro was fucking right on
all accounts, and it was almost painfully charming that he'd picked up on so
much in -- like he said -- the admittedly small amount of time he'd been paying
attention. Goro was like that, though. Sharp-eyed and clever. Always putting
shit together. Mishka did the same thing. Hansel guessed they fuckin' had to,
with him, when he couldn't even answer a question as simple as how can I make
you happy.

"Yeah," he said, and curled his hand around Goro's
when he faltered over the mention of the ocean. "Yep. Got it. See? You
don't need me to tell you shit. You've got it all figured out already."

**Lina:** at 10:00 PM

Goro studied Hansel's hand, wrapped up around his own.
"I don't, though. Because... I made you leave."

He bent forward, resting the crown of his head on Hansel's
chest. "Need more information," he mumbled. "There a book I can
read about you?"

**Izzy:** at 10:13 PM

He shifted a bit, uncomfortably. There was a thought. Maybe
he could write it down. He'd never tried before, but -- had to fucking be
easier than talking. Roddy had his journal, and all, there had to be something
to it.

Nah, though. He'd just get frustrated chuck a book into the
ocean, crumple up any letters he tried to write to explain himself. And it'd
take too long, and -- Goro needed answers now. Always needed answers. That was
another thing about him.

"All right, well," he tried. "Listen, that
night -- y'know, I dunno if it's true or not, but my stepdad used to tell me that
orcs -- get this fuckin' bloodlust, and -- I don't know, I was fucking pissed
about the shit with Gavi and that made it real fucking hard to think. I get
like that. Just takes a while to wear off, is all. I get fucking ... upset, and
I don't think, I just do shit." He scoffed. "Elitash used to fuckin'
put me in a chokehold 'til I calmed down so I wouldn't do anything fuckin'
stupid. You didn't make me leave, is all I mean, you just -- don't know how to
hold me down, I guess."

**Lina:** at 10:20 PM

Goro still had the note Hansel had written clasped in his
other hand. He held it right over his heart. It helped, somehow--seemed stupid
that it should help so much, but it did. He was gonna fucking keep it close to
him all the time.

"See?" He scooted in closer, resting his head on
Hansel's shoulder. "I'm not big enough. Can't hold you down. I'm
persistent, though. Can't get rid of me. You try and run off somewhere, you'll
find me stuck to your shoe, even if it's a couple weeks later."

**Izzy:** at 10:28 PM

"Psh. That's not what I meant." It was always more
comfortable, though, when Goro leaned against him and laid his head on Hansel's
shoulder. That helped; that was good. "Elitash was smaller than me too,
y'know. But I don't mean -- look, d'you think Mishka can fuckin' physically
hold me down, either? Fuckin' nah. I don't want to fucking get rid of you,
jackass." He curled his fingers in Goro's hair. "I'm only ever gonna
fucking walk away if I think that's the only thing I can do. Just -- help me
think of other options, all right? Or -- I dunno, tell me we can talk about it
later, once I've calmed down."

**Lina:** at 10:39 PM

"Okay. Got it." Wasn't a whole Hansel Manual, but
it'd do for now.

Goro clung to Hansel tightly, trying and failing not to
think of what it would be like to have him living here for god knew how long.
Only a teleportation circle away, maybe, but the same was true of Amari, and
Goro still fucking hated that setup. It was different. Just because someone
didn't take very long to get to, it wasn't the same as living with them. Goro
wouldn't bump into him throughout the day. Wouldn't have Hansel there pushing
the honey toward him at the breakfast table. Wouldn't have Hansel grabbing him
to kiss his head every time they crossed paths.

Fucking awful. You start to get used to something good, only
to have it snatched away. Goro ground his teeth like he was trying to wear them
down to nubs.

He wondered if Marion had missed all those little moments
throughout the day, with her son. Maybe she needed a fucking turn. (Could've
come to live in the castle, though, Goro could fucking insist on that.)

"Hey. Where's your stepdad?"

**Izzy:** at 10:42 PM

"Uh. Dead, apparently."

**Lina:** at 10:46 PM

"Huh." Goro looked over at the door to the room
where Marion and Leigh had disappeared to. He whispered. "Was he the...
bad one? Your mom seems really nice."

**Izzy:** at 10:49 PM

"Eeuuh." What kind of a fucking question was that?
How the hell was he meant to answer it? He'd been pretty fucking sure his
parents were equally -- whatever -- until he'd walked in and she'd been all
worried about him and he'd realized maybe she had meant it, all those times
she'd told him he wasn't a monster. Maybe she'd just been ... tired.

"Yeah. I guess."

**Lina:** at 10:54 PM

Goro raised an eyebrow at him. "You guess."

**Izzy:** at 10:58 PM

He scowled. "It's fuckin' complicated, all right."
Right, right, that old fallback. "I mean -- look, I guess when I was a kid
I thought they were kind of the fuckin' same, but, y'know. I was wrong. I've
known her again for about ten fucking days, give me a bit to figure it
out."

**Lina:** at 11:01 PM

Goro kissed Hansel's cheek and then hugged him, not saying
anything. He had some thoughts, speculations, but he doubted Hansel wanted to
hear any of them. And he probably sure as hell didn't want Goro's questions.

After a minute, Goro pulled back and grinned at him.
"Your brother. He's a looker. Runs in the family, for sure."

**Izzy:** at 11:03 PM

"Hey." Hansel narrowed his eyes. "That's my
fuckin' kid brother you're talkin' about."

**Lina:** at 11:06 PM

"Oh, I'm aware. You know, he's actually closer to my
age, if you figure in the half-elf thing." Goro tilted his head back, still
smiling, a dreamy look in his eyes. "Hmm, hmm. Did I pick the wrong
Granger boy, do you think?"

**Izzy:** at 11:07 PM

"Fuckin' jackass." Hansel shoved as his shoulder
lightly, keeping him in place with the other arm still around his waist. "Too
goddamn bad. You're stuck with me, now."

**Lina:** at 11:09 PM

"You sure? Maybe Leigh'll come back to the castle with
me." Goro dug his fingers into Hansel's side, where he was ticklish.

**Izzy:** at 11:13 PM

"Pshh." Hansel twitched and snagged Goro's hands,
pushing them behind his back and holding them there by the wrists. "Yeah,
all right. You'd be back. Seven fuckin' days. You know it's only a fuckin' five
day walk, right? Maybe Leigh could get orienteering through your thick fuckin'
skull, though, huh."

**Lina:** at 11:15 PM

"Hey, fuck you. I almost died." Goro fought to
free his hands, and when that didn't work, he bit Hansel on the chin.

**Izzy:** at 11:17 PM

"Fucking ow. The hell is wrong with you?" Hansel
let his wrists go. "Go back to pulling on my beard. Goddamn."(edited)

**Lina:** at 11:24 PM

Goro snorted. He took Hansel's face in his hands, and kissed
the spot he'd bitten, then kissed a bunch of other spots just because.
"Mm, never mind, though. I'm sticking with this guy. He's just... too beautiful
to pass up." Goro paused the kissing to look into Hansel's eyes. "So
fucking beautiful." He looked for too long, and felt himself flushing all
over. Aw, no. Couldn't get like that on Hansel's mother's couch. No, sir. He
made himself look away and climb off Hansel's lap.

**Izzy:** at 11:32 PM

Hansel gave another psshhh and looked away himself, and was
quiet, but locked his fingers around Goro's between them. Fucking Eldath, he
was going to miss this. Every fucking part of it. He told himself, as much as
he'd told Goro, I'll visit. He'll visit. It's not like I'm really leaving.
It'll be fine.

"So, uh," he said after a beat. "So are we
... good?"

**Lina:** at 11:34 PM

Goro thought for a while. "If I say no, and keep
pretending like we need to talk shit out, do I get to stay as long as I
want?"

**Izzy:** at 11:35 PM

"You get to stay as long as you want anyway,
dumbass." He snorted. "Don't think my mom'd let you leave just now,
anyway."

**Lina:** at 11:36 PM

"What the hell have they been doing in there, anyway?
You think they're listening in?"

**Izzy:** at 11:38 PM

"Waiting for more yelling, probably. Hey, look, when
Mishka showed up Mom tried to shut the fuckin' door in his face. Twice. Think
she's had enough of this shit."

**Lina:** at 11:38 PM

That was alarming. "What'd Mishka do?"

**Izzy:** at 11:40 PM

"Uhh. Y'know. Called me a motherfucker. Something
sarcastic about being glad I wasn't dead, or something."

**Lina:** at 11:41 PM

"Huh. Serves you right, honestly." But he squeezed
Hansel's hand as he said it.

**Izzy:** at 11:42 PM

"Yeah, y'know, that's what I fuckin' said. Don't think
she was into it, though."(edited)

**Lina:** at 11:52 PM

"Yeah. Well. Moms, y'know. One of the two times I've
seen Amari get super fucking pissed--this was like, I don't know, four years
ago or something, another cleric was talking about me while I was standing
there and he said, 'This foul creature.' And you should've seen the look on her
face, like--" Goro imitated it as best he could, a slight tilting down of
the chin, tightening of the mouth. All the more harrowing for how subtle it had
been. He started laughing. "And I thought, oh shit, she's gonna fucking
slit that guy's throat while he sleeps. Uh. Anyway." He rubbed the back of
his head. "I'd like to, uh. Talk to them more. Your family."

February 6, 2019

**Izzy:** at 12:12 AM

God, that was fuckin' funny. Foul creature -- what a fucking
insult. If that was what it took to get under Amari's skin, he guessed he
better watch his fuckin' tongue when they visited her.

Hansel had the sudden mental image of Amari meeting Marion
and Leigh, some kind of fucking family get-together -- Roddy being there, too,
and Luci, and obviously Goro and Mishka, and it was a fucking fantasy so sure,
even Jonn -- and he couldn't tell if he loved the idea or was fucking mortified
by it. He'd probably get freaked out and try to slip away, but they'd all just
fucking follow him.

He cleared his throat and pushed himself up, keeping hold of
Goro's hand but not dragging him along. "Yeah. They'd probably appreciate
being told it's, uh, safe to come back out." He remembered that the last
time his mom'd poked her head out, it'd been because Goro was yelling at him,
and he'd responded by grabbing Goro and jerking him around. Real fucking great
impression. "I'll get'em."

He crossed the room to tap on the door, and Leigh opened it
a crack to give him a questioning look, Marion already standing up from her
seat on the bed behind him.

"All, uh. All good," Hansel said awkwardly.
"Sorry about ... that."

"Take as much time as you need," his mom said,
coming up to the door.

"No, really, it's -- s'okay."

Leigh narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but he opened the door
the rest of the way, and Marion brushed past him. Hansel suspected he'd been
fucking guarding the door this entire time to keep her from coming back out,
and gave him a grateful look that was still mostly apologetic. Leigh just
nodded with a slight smile and moved on into the other room.

Marion seemed to have immediately gone to check on Goro, and
while Hansel took a moment and a breath, he heard her asking, "Would you
like some clean, dry clothes, sweetheart? You look like you've come a long way
in those."

**Lina:** at 12:16 AM

"Oh, uh, yeah." Goro pinched the front of his
robes with two fingers, examining them. "Yeah, god, I must reek. Sorry
about that."

Sweetheart. Huh. That was... well, that was Hansel's mother,
alright.

**Izzy:** at 12:24 AM

"Don't worry. You can get cleaned up tomorrow."
She glanced at Leigh, and he acknowledged her with a nod before climbing up
into the loft to open a chest and dig through it for clothes that would fit
Goro.

Hansel ran a hand through his hair to settle the last bit of
nerves and came back to sit heavily next to Goro, hooking an arm around him
automatically.

"Do you know how long you'll be staying?" she
asked, sitting at the table, flicking her eyes towards Hansel to ask him, as
well. Hansel just looked at Goro. He'd already said he could stay as long as he
wanted -- supposed it was up to him.

**Lina:** at 12:32 AM

"Uh. Um." Shit. He didn't want to commit himself
to a certain amount of time now, but it seemed rude to say he was planning to
stay indefinitely. "Well, I, uh, you know, I just got here, but uh...
wasn't actually sure I even had the right place, so I didn't plan on,
uh..."

Fuck. He was nervous. He wanted her to like him. Fuck.

"I can help out," he said, and before Hansel could
make fun of him for knowing fuck all about farming, he added, "If you've
got any sick animals, or injured animals, I could take a look at 'em." And
that would take him all of what, an hour? "Can go around the rest of town,
too. House calls."

**Izzy:** at 12:42 AM

"Oh." She considered this for a moment.
"Well, that could be very helpful. We don't have any healers around
town."

Leigh came back down, setting some clothes on the table for
Goro and sitting next to Marion.

"You can just stay, though," she said gently.
"You don't have to help."

**Lina:** at 12:44 AM

He pretended he hadn't heard that last part so he wouldn't
have to respond to it. He picked up the clothes. "Thank you, uh." Uh.
Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Would someone just fucking punch him, already. He pointed
toward the back room questioningly. "I could change, in uh..." Uh.

**Izzy:** at 12:49 AM

Well, this was going some kinda fuckin' way. Hansel bailed
him out. (God, was this what being around him was like?) "Yep. Back room."
He stood again, abruptly, to give Goro a slight push in the right direction.
"There y'go. Okay."(edited)

**Lina:** at 12:51 AM

Shit, shit, shit. He was making an ass of himself. He ducked
his head and hurried into the other room, shutting the door behind him. This
was good, he could take a minute to chill out and screw his head on straight.

**Izzy:** at 1:08 AM

As the door clicked closed, Marion and Leigh both turned to
look at Hansel. He looked back.

"Uh."

"Uh," Leigh teased.

"Look."

"Is he going to be all right?" Marion interrupted,
frowning.

"Yeah," Hansel said quickly. "Yeah. We just,
uh, kind of ... had a fight before I left, and, uh." He shot Leigh a glare
before Leigh could make fun of him again, crossing his arms awkwardly.
"Yeah. We're all right now. He's all right."

"You fought and then left for two weeks? Hansel."

He scowled. "I know."

"Okay." She raised a hand pacifyingly. "Okay.
No questions."

"One question," Leigh corrected. "Are more of
them going to show up?"

"No." Hansel scowled again -- or just still -- and
flopped back down on the couch. "I mean, fuckin' -- maybe some kids,"
he muttered.

"Rough estimate of how many kids? I'm just asking
'cause, y'know, we only got so many beds."

"Leigh," Marion said.

"But, I mean, hey, if they just keep coming single file,
I guess it'll work out."

"Leigh."

Hansel snorted.

"At any rate," Marion said, giving Leigh a look
that made him grin and glance away, "Goro can stay as long as he wants.
Definitely a couple of days." She was frowning, still, in concern.

Hey, fuck you. I almost died. Goro'd said it like a joke,
but the cold out there, and the wilderness -- it wasn't anything to fucking
mess with. And Goro, who could barely use a compass, had braved it for him.
Hansel nodded.

Delicately, Marion said, "He strikes me as someone who
might not be very good at taking care of himself."

Fucking got it in one. "Yep."

She was quiet for a second. "Well. Then he needs you
more than we do --."

"Mom."

"All right." She held up the hand again, didn't
push it. "Well, any time he wants to stay, he can. And as long as he needs
to. Make sure he believes that."

"I will."

**Lina:** at 1:22 AM

Goro's clothes were crusty with mud and dried snow. Hell. He
hadn't really been paying attention until he got them off.

He had to roll up the sleeves and pant legs of the clothes
Leigh gave him, but they were clean and dry and warm, in any case. He bundled
his dirty clothes into a pile and topped it carefully with the things he kept
in his pockets and on his person, too valuable to keep in his pack: his wands,
his coin pouches, his knives. (All three of them. What would Marion think?)
Reluctantly he took his wrist bands off too, just because they were chafing
against his skin.

He kept holding on to the note Hansel had written. He
started to slip it into a pocket, but was worried he'd forget it there. Better
to just keep it in hand.

He carried his bundle of things back out to the main room,
glanced around, and knew they'd been talking about him. Eh, well. He was
interesting, he'd say that much for himself.

**Izzy:** at 1:33 AM

"Ah," Marion said, right away, "I was just
telling Hansel -- you're welcome to stay as long as you want." She gave
Hansel a sidelong glance. "He's made his mind up about us needing his
help, but I'd guess you have some sort of life to get back to -- I just wanted
to make sure you know you can come visit whenever you want to."

"Mom. I was gonna tell him."

"Well, I'm just being sure."

**Lina:** at 1:41 AM

Goro nodded. "Thank you." He wondered if he'd
actually be able to take that to heart, an open invitation. Probably not. He
still felt bad showing up at Amari's, sometimes.

He's made his mind up about us needing his help. Hah, that
was an apt way of putting it. Seemed like the two of them were managing just
fine, and then Hansel comes along after twenty years and decides they couldn't
do it without him. Goro wasn't going to fucking say that, though. He'd tease
Hansel about it later, maybe, when they were alone, but in front of other
people he'd sure as hell take his side.

Goro glanced around the house. "So, it's just the two
of you here, huh? Extra set of hands is probably nice."

**Izzy:** at 1:52 AM

"Mostly just Leigh."

He scoffed and waved this off, and she gave him a look that
was just about equally affectionate and wry.

"I do what I can, but --." She shrugged.
"It's a lot of work. I don't mean to make it sound like Hansel isn't
helping." She looked at him again, and when he glanced away, embarrassed,
she changed the subject. "Hansel said he came from Skyport. Is that where
you're from? If you don't mind my asking."

Hansel shifted on the couch and beckoned Goro over to join
him.

**Lina:** at 9:52 AM

Goro walked to the couch and sat, setting his bundle on the
floor by his feet. He curled up next to Hansel, note still tucked against his
palm.

"Yup," he said to Marion. "Born and raised.
City boy to the bone, I'm afraid. I bet I could learn about farming, though.
I'm pretty good with animals."

**Izzy:** at 10:53 AM

Hansel grinned a bit and pulled Goro in to kiss the top of
his head, but didn't say anything. Seven fuckin' days. Eldath. Goddamn city boy
indeed.

Leigh looked amused. "It's a li'l more involved than that.
Not sure you got the muscle to be a farmhand."

Their mom gave him a look.

"I mean, you can feed the goats if you want, see if
they bite you," he added contritely, then grinned. "They bite
Hansel."

Hansel grumbled.

**Lina:** at 11:02 AM

Well, he's pretty damn delicious, Goro had the good sense
not to say. He smiled, though, and kissed Hansel's cheek. "I'd get muscle,
obviously, from working. What, you think there's no elf farmers? I could do
it."

**Izzy:** at 11:09 AM

"Ehh. How long're you planning to stay again?"

Hansel grabbed the pen from the side table and chucked it at
Leigh. He dodged it and snickered, then bent to pick it up off the floor to
toss it back.

The idea of Goro building up some muscle, though -- Hansel
considered that. He was already wiry. What'd he look like with a bit more meat
on his bones? And Hansel was too distracted by this mental image and flinched
when the pen hit him directly in the face.

"Nice. Thanks."

Leigh snorted.

**Lina:** at 11:25 AM

Goro looked back and forth between Leigh and Hansel,
half-smiling. God, it was fuckin' weird, Hansel having a... family. A blood
family, rather. They looked so much alike. Leigh looked like if someone who hadn't
seen Hansel for a few years tried to draw him from memory.

It was foreign to Goro. The notion of there being other
people out there with his same face. Fuckin' weird.

God, what if... what if he had a half-sibling? He had no
idea where his father had fucked off to, or even what he'd done before knocking
up Goro's mother. Hell, his mother, could be the same deal with her.

Before he could let that thought split his mind in half, he
snuggled closer to Hansel, worming an arm behind Hansel's back to be crushed
between it and the couch. A nice anchoring weight. Good.

"So, uh, anyway, uh." He wasn't even addressing
anyone in particular. Talking to Hansel's shoulder, pretty much. "You guys
ever consider leaving the area? You could come back to Glimmerton with us.
We've got some land."

Ah, maybe he shouldn't have fucking invited them to move in
without consulting Hansel first. Fuck.

**Izzy:** at 11:47 AM

"Goro," Hansel started, but stopped when Marion
waved it off.

"It's not so easy to just pick up and leave," she
explained. "We have connections here with merchants and other farmers, and
our land is already rich and seeded -- setting up somewhere new, building
barns, moving the animals, finding a buyer for the farm ..." She shook her
head. "It's kind of you to offer."

**Lina:** at 11:55 AM

"Ah. Well." Goro pressed his mouth against
Hansel's shoulder to shut himself up for a minute. Small talk, with his
boyfriend's family--not a situation he ever anticipated finding himself in, and
he didn't know what the hell he was doing. Felt lucky to be doing it, though.
Real fucking lucky. He'd take the awkwardness--fuckin' bask in it, even, just
knowing what it meant. Someone loved him enough to take him home.

He lifted his face and grinned at Marion. "So, uh, you
got any embarrassing stories about Hansel when he was little?"

**Izzy:** at 12:02 PM

"Hey," Hansel objected quietly. That was a normal
thing, he was pretty sure, but it made him fucking uncomfortable. Most of what
he remembered from his childhood went beyond embarrassing, and he just -- tried
not to think of it at all. Didn't think he'd enjoy the reminiscing; it was too
patchwork, and most of the patches were unpleasant.

But Leigh chipped in with, "I remember one time he told
me to stay away from this pissed off stallion we were trying to break, so I did,
and he immediately got fuckin' kicked right in the chest."

And Hansel snorted. "Oh. Yeah, I remember that."

"You almost died," Marion said mildly.

"Yeah. Good story."

**Lina:** at 12:12 PM

Ah, shit. Shit. Change course, quick. "The stupidest
way I almost died was..." Hah, well, there was a lot of competition for that.
But he was scrambling, so he picked the first story that came to his mind.
"Well, I was... maybe eight years old, and I was down by the docks trying
to run from this bigger kid. And he was coming up on me so fast, and my
brilliant mind went, oh, I'll just hide from him in the water. And I jumped
in." He snorted and laughed, covering his face. "I didn't know how to
swim. Boy, I learned real quick, though."

**Izzy:** at 12:18 PM

"Idiot," Hansel commented, shaking his head and
kissing the top of Goro's.

"Hey. How'd you learn how to swim, Han?" Leigh
needled.

He scowled. "Listen."

"Didn't you fall in the lake?" He grinned.
"You were chasing something, right?"

"Leigh."

"It was a butterfly, right?"

"I swear to god."

**Lina:** at 12:18 PM

Goro sat up straighter. "Wait, was it really a
butterfly?"

**Izzy:** at 12:19 PM

Hansel grumbled. "Fuckin' ... yeah. I remember it was
bright blue. I wanted to catch it to show it to Leigh."

**Lina:** at 12:21 PM

"Oh." Goro put a hand over his mouth. "Oh my
god, that's... so cute." He started laughing again and buried his face in
Hansel's chest.

**Izzy:** at 12:23 PM

Hansel kept grumbling wordlessly and looked away to hide the
fact that he was blushing, like there was any fucking getting away with that.
Leigh looked deeply pleased with himself.

"It was very sweet," Marion said. "But you
should have been paying more attention."

"Well, I can swim now," Hansel muttered, still
embarrassed. "Fuckin' ... pirate."

**Lina:** at 12:28 PM

"Yeah, he swims really good," Goro agreed, trying
to be supportive.

**Izzy:** at 12:32 PM

Fucking precious, Goro sticking up for him. It only
embarrassed Hansel more. He was ... kind of okay with this, though. It wasn't a
'wanting to die if it got him away from this shit' sort of embarrassment.

Leigh, though, was fucking relentless. He pulled a leg up
into his chair to prop his chin on it. "Hey, has Hansel told you how he
got that shark bite? He told me he just got drunk and fell off his ship like a
jackass."

"Fuckin' Leigh," Hansel muttered, and didn't deny
it, because that was exactly what had happened.

**Lina:** at 1:48 PM

Goro snorted. "No. I was aware the shark bite happened,
but not the circumstances leading up to it. This guy gets tetchy when I start
asking too many questions." Goro elbowed him; then, feeling too overcome
with affection to stop himself, started kissing the side of his face like it
was going out of style. Probably weird to do it right there in front of his
family, but eh, whatever.(edited)

**Izzy:** at 2:58 PM

Marion and Leigh shared an amused look, and Hansel turned
his head and went to push Goro away reflexively -- feeling like he ought to say
hey, fuckin' stop it, god, but not having the heart to do that or even to
actually push him away. Didn't want to. Just ended up resting a hand against
his chest and looking away to try to hide the flush, again.

He'd felt all awkward about doing this kind of thing in
front of Amari, but it didn't seem like Goro had any fuckin' such inhibitions.
Hansel didn't even know his family well enough to know how they'd feel about it
-- he would've guessed as awkward as he did, but maybe that was just because
his parents hadn't been affectionate with each other. And now he was guessing
there had been other reasons for that.

Instead they just looked ... pleased for him. Leigh rolled his
eyes a bit, but he smiled as he did it, and all Hansel managed was another,
"Psshh."

**Lina:** at 3:22 PM

Goro sort of felt bad for embarrassing him, but god, it just
made him even cuter and even harder to stop kissing. Hansel should really think
about these things before he went and did shit like turn all pink.

Goro was tempted to nibble his ear, but decided that would
be a step too far with Marion and Leigh here. And that begged another question,
which was if Hansel was going to be living at his mom's, how were they going to
find the privacy for fucking and whatnot? Was Hansel gonna take him out to the
barn while the others were busy, or something?

Huh, that sounded kind of hot. Must be where that saying a
roll in the hay came from. Goro's eyes grew distant, but he managed to shake
himself out of it before he got too carried away.

"So, uh," he said. "Goats, huh?"

**Izzy:** at 3:51 PM

Leigh snorted. "Yeah. Goats."

Hansel kept looking away. Goats. Real fucking smooth, Goro.

"We have cows, too." Marion tried valiantly to
recover the conversation. "They're a bit more docile. If the goats don't
like you, the cows will."

"Couple yaks, too," Hansel managed. "Those're
new."

**Lina:** at 4:02 PM

"What the hell's a yak?"

**Izzy:** at 4:06 PM

"Uhh." Leigh looked to Marion, puzzled.

Hansel shrugged. "Like a big, furry cow? You can see'em
tomorrow."

**Lina:** at 4:41 PM

"Huh. Alright." Goro rested his head on Hansel's
shoulder and closed his eyes. "I'm gonna make friends with them. And the
goats, too. Fuckin' watch me. I mean... freakin' watch me." He opened one
eye to check Marion's reaction.

**Izzy:** at 4:54 PM

God. He was so fucking cute. Maybe it was because he was so
tired -- from the walk, Hansel was sure, and from the conversation they'd had
once he'd gotten here. Insisting he was going to befriend the livestock and
watching his language or some shit. Hansel was completely sure he and Leigh had
been swearing in front of their mom already, but he peeked out at her to check
if it was all right anyway, and she just gave him a mild smile.

"I'm sure you will, sweetheart."

Fuck, Hansel really liked it that she seemed to like Goro,
and that he thought she was nice. Every part of this was fucking weird, but it
was working, somehow.

He squeezed Goro's shoulders and kissed the top of his head.
"Hey. You wanna head to bed? It's late. I'll carry you," he said
softly.

**Lina:** at 4:58 PM

"Mm. What bed?" Goro tightened his arms around
him. Didn't want to ask, outright, in front of Marion, if they'd get to sleep
in the same one.

**Izzy:** at 5:17 PM

He took that as a yes. He scooped Goro up princess-style and
started for the loft, as Marion said something about how yes, it was very late,
and they should all get some rest -- she headed for the back room, quietly
bidding Hansel and Goro a good night, and Leigh put out the lanterns and stoked
up the fire to make it 'til morning.

Hansel carried Goro up the loft stairs and over to his bed
-- it was small, but they'd both fit. It'd be fine. Wasn't any smaller than the
bunk he'd shared with Taavit, way back when. He set Goro down and kissed his
forehead, then sat next to him to kick off his boots.

It was warmer up in the loft than down below, so he tossed
back the covers, not figuring they'd need them until it got coldest in the
early morning, once the fire was low, and tugged Goro against him again. Yeah.
They'd fit. Perfectly.

**Lina:** at 5:49 PM

Falling asleep tucked warm and tight in Hansel's arms was
divine.

When he woke up some time later, he was sweating. Ugh. It
was stuffy as hell up in the loft. Goro extricated himself as carefully as he
could from Hansel's arms. He didn't want to wake him up, but he couldn't resist
giving him a quick kiss, anyway. Hansel mumbled something that might have been
motek and rolled over.

It was dark, only the dimmest light coming from the dying
fire downstairs, but Leigh's bed caught Goro's attention, anyway. Empty. Huh.
Maybe he was off visiting a sweetheart. (In the barn?)

Goro climbed downstairs, his sluggish feet and crampy legs
almost making him slip a time or two. But he made it in one piece. He pulled
his boots on at the door and stepped outside.

Ah. There was Leigh.

"Evenin'," Goro said lowly, not wanting to startle
him.

**Izzy:** at 6:00 PM

Leigh visibly jumped and launched his cigarette into the
snow drift by the door, where it glowed and sizzled out. "Fuck." He
coughed out smoke and cold air, then registered who it was. "Oh.
Silvanus." He laughed. "I thought you were my mom or something.
Hey."

**Lina:** at 6:10 PM

Goro watched the arc of the cigarette, and its demise.
"You, uh. You got any more of those?"

**Izzy:** at 6:13 PM

He hesitated. "Uh. Yep." He pulled a couple more
loose smokes from inside his coat and offered one to Goro, grinning. "Not
gonna rat me out, right?"

**Lina:** at 6:19 PM

Goro snorted as he took the cigarette. "I'm not a
snitch." He hummed the first measure of a hymn to light up the end of it,
and took a drag. "Aren't you a grown fucking man? Can't you smoke if you
want to?" Amari would probably frown at him if she saw him smoking, come
to think of it. Worrying.

**Izzy:** at 6:23 PM

"I am grown fucking man who doesn't want his mom to
lovingly nag him about his health," Leigh agreed solemnly. He pulled a
match out of his pocket and struck it against the house to light his own
cigarette, then flicked it into the same drift. "'Specially considering my
dad died of a cough."

**Lina:** at 6:25 PM

"A cough? What, like, hack hack one day and then he
just keeled over?"

**Izzy:** at 6:28 PM

Leigh snorted. "Kinda. Hack hack for months, and
wheezing, and blood, and then being bedridden, and then he keeled over."
He blew out a stream of smoke. "You were close, though."

**Lina:** at 6:31 PM

"Ah. Huh. He lose a lot of weight? Sweating all
night?"

**Izzy:** at 6:35 PM

"Yep. Feverish, stopped eating." He paused and
glanced Goro's way. "You know what you're about, huh?"

**Lina:** at 6:39 PM

"Yup. Pretty common, in some parts of the city where
I'm from. They call it consumption there. Quick to heal with a spell,
though." Goro took another drag and flicked the ash off his cigarette. He
smiled wryly. "Couldn't find any clerics around here? Or you, uh, just
decided maybe fate had a point it wanted to make?"

**Izzy:** at 6:42 PM

Leigh was quiet for a moment.

Then, carefully, he said, "He went to this druid who
lives nearby, in the woods, and she couldn't help him. No clerics near enough
by. He said he didn't wanna make the trip out to the Sanctuary." He
shrugged. "His fuckin' life."

**Lina:** at 6:45 PM

"A stubborn motherfucker, eh?"

**Izzy:** at 6:45 PM

"Mm." He nodded.

**Lina:** at 6:47 PM

Hey, this kid might actually talk. That was fucking
thrilling. "I hear he didn't really get along with Hansel," Goro
said, flicking his cigarette again.

**Izzy:** at 6:51 PM

Leigh laughed sharply. "Guess that's one way to put
it." He looked at Goro fully, wincing a bit. "Han doesn't talk about
this stuff, does he?"

**Lina:** at 6:52 PM

Goro shook his head. "I've tried asking, but."

**Izzy:** at 6:58 PM

"Yeah." He reached out to ash his cigarette off
the edge of the porch, looking away again. "Mom said, uh -- I wasn't here
when Hansel showed up the other day, but Mom said she asked him a bunch of
questions out the gate and he nearly just fucked off again, straight away. So
we're being really fucking careful, I guess." He watched smoke stream up
in the cold air. "I guess it probably kills you, not knowing shit.
Hansel's talked to us some, but --." He shook his head and took a drag.
"Just shuts down. Listen, I was a fuckin' kid when he left, but I mean,
whatever I can tell you, I don't mind."

**Lina:** at 7:08 PM

Goro took a moment before he said anything. He felt...
weirdly relieved, listening to Leigh say that. Somebody else calling Hansel out
for being weird and cagey and freaking out when people asked him questions. I
guess it probably kills you, not knowing shit, like Goro wasn't actually a
fucking jackass for being curious.

"I just want to understand him better," he said.
"I feel like if I knew how he grew up, it might help. Give me a more
complete picture to work with, I guess. So... yeah, I don't even know what to
ask. What was it like? With the two of them. Or with your mom."

**Izzy:** at 7:21 PM

Leigh nodded. "Yeah, I get that. Uh. Shit, I dunno if
you know -- anything. Our parents got together -- or, my dad and our mom got
married when she was already pregnant with him. It was, ah --." He waved a
hand. "Out here, y'know, people get married because it's convenient, it's
how you pass land along and shit. They got married because my dad needed people
to work the farm, and she had, you know, this half-orc kid on the way, and my
dad figured Hansel'd grow up fast and he'd be a good worker.

"And he was," Leigh added quickly, like he'd been
implying Hansel wasn't. "But he wasn't ... a son. I think things were
better before I came along." He paused. "Mom loves him like --
fuckin' nothing else, you know? But I was real sick when I was a kid, so I
guess she had to take care of me, and my dad took over Han. Treated him like
... I mean, like a farmhand, not a kid. I think, ah."

He ashed his cigarette off the edge of the porch again.

"Resented him, maybe. I dunno. But I don't think Hansel
knew that. I think for him, my dad was just ... his dad, too, who fuckin'
treated him bad and called him names and shit for no reason." He
hesitated. "Me and Mom don't know for sure, but we think my dad used to
knock him around. Dad always said he didn't, and Han never said he did, but --
the way he'd act -- I don't know. Hansel was bigger than him when he was about
fourteen, and he was fuckin' scared of Dad. Kinda think he still is."

He looked away, clearly getting uncomfortable with the
topic.

**Lina:** at 7:29 PM

Goro had expected to get angry. But he just felt... fucking
sad.

There was nothing he could do. Wasn't like he could waltz
back in time and take kid Hansel away to something better. It happened, and it
was over. Maybe that was why Hansel was so reluctant to talk about it--or one
of the reasons, anyway. Wasn't anything to be done for it.

"What makes you say he resented him?" Goro asked. "Why
would he resent a kid?"

**Izzy:** at 7:36 PM

Leigh shrugged. "I don't know. Fucking stupid. I mean,
I don't disagree. Hansel's always been really fucking good at whatever he
does." He hooked a thumb over his shoulder. "The loft in there, he designed
and built it pretty much by himself when he was fuckin' nine. He was always
fixing shit, and he was good with the animals, and he could always find his way
home no matter how much he wandered in the woods. I think --." He
considered for a moment, then slowly said, "I think Dad wanted him to just
be strong and dumb and do what he was told. But Hansel was better than him at
fuckin' everything. Guess that's a blow to the ego."

**Lina:** at 7:44 PM

One corner of Goro's mouth edged up. "Serves him fuckin'
right."

God, Hansel was so great.

Goro really wished he could've met the stepdad. Rub it in
his fucking face. Isn't Hansel the greatest? He's so brave and smart and
strong, and he has so much love in him. Boundless love. You must have taught
him that, right? You must have loved him so good. You must have cherished him.
Right?

Hm. Alas. Well, there was always the Leech.

Goro had all but forgotten about his cigarette, and he
hissed suddenly when it started burning too close to his fingers. He pitched it
into the snow, then crossed his arms. Starting to get cold. "You know
anything about his real dad? His orc dad?"

**Izzy:** at 7:51 PM

Leigh scoffed but didn't disagree, and cast Goro an amused
look when he tossed the cigarette.

He shook his head. "Not really. Mom doesn't talk about
him." Then he hesitated again. "Dad used to, sometimes, when he got
drunk. But just about, uh. How much everyone in town fuckin' hated him. How he
was a monster. Same shit he said about Han," he muttered.

**Lina:** at 7:53 PM

Goro frowned. "Wait. Your dad knew him?"

And then thought: Wait, your dad called the man I love a
monster? And said everyone hated him?

Mmm, the Leech. Yes. Good wand.

**Izzy:** at 7:54 PM

"Guess so, yeah. I mean, they both lived around here at
the same time. Small town."

**Lina:** at 7:57 PM

"Ah, I didn't realize he was... from the area. This
seems like a mostly human town."

**Izzy:** at 7:59 PM

"Oh, yeah, for fuckin' sure," Leigh agreed.
"Probably why people didn't like him hangin' around. Fuckers."

**Lina:** at 7:59 PM

"Were he and your mom like--" Goro gestured
vaguely. "A thing?"

**Izzy:** at 8:04 PM

"Uh." He shifted. "Dunno. Way before my time.
But, um. I'm decently sure Mom doesn't talk about him because it's, y'know, not
fun to think about how the town sort of ... uh, fucking lynched him when she
got pregnant."

**Lina:** at 8:12 PM

Goro took a couple lurching steps to the side and had to grab
onto one of the posts to keep from falling off the porch. "Hang on. Hang
on. What?"

**Izzy:** at 8:13 PM

Leigh grimaced. "Yeeeah." He glanced Goro's way.
"Han doesn't know that. I wouldn't bring it up."

**Lina:** at 8:26 PM

"Uh. Okay. Yeah."

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.

Goro had made some assumptions, and they were hella fucking
wrong.

He'd figured it was a case of "human girl gets forcibly
knocked up by orc tribe raiding the village," not...

Not... not...

Oh, fuck.

"Th--uh, thanks for the smoke," Goro managed,
barely looking at Leigh as he pushed the door open to go back inside. He
clambered up the stairs, stumbled to the bed, and climbed on top of Hansel.

"Wake up." He grabbed Hansel's shoulders and shook
him. "Wake up."

**Izzy:** at 8:28 PM

Hansel had been dead goddamn asleep -- too asleep to even
jerk awake abruptly. He barely opened his eyes instead, drowsy, mumbling,
"Fuckin' ... what. S'goin' on."

**Lina:** at 8:30 PM

"You can't stay here. You have to come home with
me."

**Izzy:** at 8:31 PM

He grumbled and moved to roll over. "We fuckin' talked
about this."

**Lina:** at 8:39 PM

"No, Hansel, you don't--you don't understand."
Goro pressed himself against Hansel's back, hooking an arm over his chest.
"The people in this town... I don't think it's..."

Safe. He realized this was going to sound fucking absurd.
Hansel had killed a whole pirate crew by himself. (Once, and then... that other
time, also.) He could handle a band of angry villagers. Maybe. Probably.

Oh, god, though.

You know they murdered your fucking father?

**Izzy:** at 8:41 PM

Hansel made a vague, sleepy sound and rested his hand over
Goro's. "S'what?"

**Lina:** at 8:46 PM

"It's not safe." Goro held him tighter. "I
was talking to your brother, and... I don't think they like half-orcs,
here."

Hopefully they didn't have shit against half-elves, too,
but... nah, people just didn't seem to have the same hate for elves that they
did for orcs.

**Izzy:** at 8:47 PM

"Pff." Hansel rolled over again, to face Goro,
because this seemed like a serious conversation that he should probably wake up
for a bit more. "Motek. I fuckin' grew up here. D'you really think I made
it sixteen years just not fuckin' noticing that."

**Lina:** at 8:48 PM

"Then why're you coming back? God."

**Izzy:** at 8:50 PM

"'Cause my fucking mom and brother live here." He
blinked and swallowed, trying to grasp what Goro was saying. "Hey. It's
not like I'm fuckin' staying in town. No one's gonna goddamn bother me. Goro,
I'm six and half fuckin' feet high, no one's gonna fuck with me."

**Lina:** at 8:55 PM

How tall was your fucking dad, then?

It was fine, though. Hansel was a fighter. A pirate. He
could fucking mince anyone who tried to mess with him. His dad had been just
a... fucking farmer, probably. Minding his own business.

Goro let out a little anguished wail and buried his face
against Hansel.

**Izzy:** at 8:58 PM

"Oh." This was a little more serious than Hansel'd
realized, he guessed. "Hey. Shit." Hansel slipped his arms around
Goro to hug him. "I'm gonna be fine, all right? The fuck did Leigh
say?"

**Lina:** at 9:00 PM

"Nothin'."

**Izzy:** at 9:01 PM

"Mm. Right." He'd just ask Leigh about it in the
morning. Fuckin' scaring Goro.

**Lina:** at 9:07 PM

"I mean he was just... saying people around here are
racist, and, alright, I heard this story once about this half-orc who was
traveling through a small town like this, and they fucking murdered him,
alright?" Goro dug his fingers into Hansel's shoulders. "Look, I know
you can defend yourself, but I don't... want you around people like that. You
don't deserve that."

**Izzy:** at 9:12 PM

"Yeah, I fuckin' heard loads of those stories growing
up," Hansel said patiently. Usually from Elijah. "Goro. Shemeshi.
Listen. I'm just gonna fuckin' be right here. I'm not going into town. I'm not
gonna bother anyone and they're not gonna fucking care that I'm here. And if
they do, I'll fuckin' spear'em. Not gonna be an issue."

He wasn't sure if any of that was ... actually comforting.
Well, he was trying.

**Lina:** at 9:22 PM

The fear was less urgent, now. Yeah, of course Hansel wasn't
in any danger from a bunch of backwater humans. Goro had done that thing again
where he panicked and didn't think. It was only the tragedy that weighed heavy
on him, now. And he wasn't going to share that with Hansel. He'd just have to
carry it alone.

Or, well. Together with Marion, he guessed. He wondered what
she'd say if he asked her about it. It was possible she hadn't really loved the
guy, he supposed. Maybe she had been forced, after all. But... man, Goro had a
feeling. He just had a fucking feeling.

Hansel could've had a loving dad.

"Hey," Goro said after a minute. "I'd like to
bring your stepdad back to life, so I can tell him he's an asshole, and then
kill him again. What do you think?"

**Izzy:** at 9:27 PM

It seemed like it'd settled Goro down, anyway, and Hansel
pulled him closer -- both because he wanted to, and because the bed was small
and he was vaguely worried Goro might fall off the edge in his sleep -- and
dozed, again.

But as usual, Goro had one more fucking thing to say.

"What." Hansel opened his eyes again. "What."

**Lina:** at 9:28 PM

"Yup. Now listen. Don't freak out--the Leech only has a
fifty-fifty chance of killing me, and if it does--"

**Izzy:** at 9:29 PM

"Goro, are you being fucking serious?"

**Lina:** at 9:29 PM

"Someone really needs to tell that guy he's an asshole."

**Izzy:** at 9:31 PM

He was sure as hell awake now. "Goro. I can't fucking
tell if you're being goddamn serious about using the fucking suicide wand to
bring back my fuckin' deadbeat of a father to call him an asshole, and you need
to fuckin' tell me that you're not right goddam now."

**Lina:** at 9:31 PM

"Uh. Alright, I'll think of another way."

**Izzy:** at 9:31 PM

"For fucksake." Hansel squeezed him tighter.

**Lina:** at 9:49 PM

God, people were so fucking touchy about that wand. Like,
the mere mention of it set them off. Maybe he could pretend he'd got a new
resurrection wand, one that didn't kill him.

"Man. I don't want to just tell him he's an asshole,
though. I actually wanna... rub it in his fucking face, how good you are. I
want to make him look at me and I'll say, hey. Do you have any idea how much I
love him? And how much he loves me? Hansel's the best thing that ever happened
to me. Well... alright, credit where credit's due, I'd probably fuckin' be dead
if Amari hadn't picked me up, but Hansel... god, Hansel gave me more than I
ever fucking dreamed of. It's like, Amari built me the house, but Hansel gave
me the view, you know? Amari gave me the earth, and Hansel gave me the... the
fucking sea. That's how much Hansel's worth.

"And then." Goro put his hand over Hansel's mouth
so he wouldn't argue. "And then your stepdad'll say, well, like I give a
shit, you're just some weird little cleric kid, and I'll say, alright, fair,
but I'm alive and you're dead, so. Or, well, you're about to be dead. For the
second time. And then I'll stab him."

**Izzy:** at 9:52 PM

"Goro." Hansel's voice came out muffled behind his
hand. "For fucksake. Just piss on his grave like a normal person."

**Lina:** at 9:54 PM

"Already did," Goro said, which wasn't true, but
he wanted to see what Hansel would say.

**Izzy:** at 9:55 PM

He scoffed. "All right, well. Then let me get some
fuckin' sleep and tomorrow you can show me where it is."

**Lina:** at 9:57 PM

Goro moved his hand and held Hansel tight. "Did you
know that? Did you know that you're my fucking sea? I almost said sky but then
I thought, ah no, that's a better one to save for Mishka. The sea, though. The
fucking sea. I love you so much."

**Izzy:** at 10:04 PM

"God, Goro." Hansel grumbled for a second because
he didn't have any fucking response for that. "Fuckin' ... go to sleep. I
love you too." He kissed the top of Goro's head, and remembered what he'd
said to Amari -- how Goro was a tidal wave. "Fuckin' jackass," he
mumbled, and kissed Goro's head again. "Fuckin' ... sun in my sky. Fucking
light of my life. Fucking melting the snow and making everything grow. I love
you. Fuckin' go to sleep."

**Lina:** at 10:23 PM

Goro kept waiting for the words to sink in, but they didn't.
Or maybe he just didn't know what it would feel like to have them sink in, so
he didn't recognize it when it happened. Had he fucking imagined it? This was
the good thing about notes, he decided; you could keep going back to them, keep
having proof.

Hey, can you write that down for me, he thought of saying.
Made himself snort. Luckily, Hansel was already asleep.

Goro studied his face. Ran his fingers gently along Hansel's
cheek. "I love you, Beautiful," he whispered.

Psshh that, Granger. Goro tucked himself in more
comfortably, and went to sleep.

[end]

Title: Grangers. Summary: Goro and Hansel talk through their
latest fight. Goro asks Leigh about Hansel's childhood and learns Hansel's orc
father was murdered by the townspeople.