S02E01 - Love Potion No. 9 3/4

## Love Potion No. 9 3/4

Danny loves this joke.

Danny is announced as an official co-host of the Potterotica Podcast. Everybody loves Danny! The hosts assure listeners that since last season they have boned up on their Harry Potter knowledge so that they will have the necessary background/context to understand the references within the stories, and promise wittier puns.

A plug was given to Harry Potter and the Sacred Text podcast which is "equally smart as this is dumb".

Hosts urge authors to submit their stories for consideration for the podcast.

This episode includes approximately the first half of Chapter 1 of "An Honest Mistake" by the author mctwist.

## Episode Summary

A bonus assignment for Potions, and a chance clumsy encounter lead to two enemies releasing some tension in the Dungeons.

## Notable Moments

* A whole line of Potterotica branded sex paraphrenalia is promised, ranging from lube to wangs.
* Wang gear = banana hammock
* Gigglefest when the hosts attempt to read out the title of the work together as a group and it goes horribly wrong. Fittingly, the title is "An Honest Mistake".
* "If anything encapsulates the brand and vibe of this podcast it is that: 1....2....SHIT SHOW!" ~ Lyndsay
* Girls Night! reference
* Allie and Lyndsay are very excited for this pairing.
* Lyndsay wonders if there is any Ron/Hermione works out there and what their couple name would be...Hon?
* Danny wants a McGonagall/Flitwick pairing. Allie and Lyndsay do not seem particularly onboard.
* Tonks/Lupin = Lonks? Or Tupin?
* Ron Bashing
* Gasping Lyndsay
* (A:) Oh, so this is the Prince's potion book we're talking about now? So...what year are we in? (D:) THEY'RE EIGHTEEN!!
	+ dubious consent discussion around ages and how old the characters need to be for this to not be creepy.
* Danny delivers a dramatic, emotional, "method" performance of Hermione.
* Best name in HP franchise: Blaise Zabini. Must be said in full
* "You know what they say? If you hate someone, force them to fall in love with you. Revenge is a dish best served...MARRIED!" ~ Lyndsay
* Did Zabini orchestrate this whole encounter? Is he screwing with Draco and Hermione on purpose? Evil genius alert!
* Blaise's Canadian relative: Blaise Zamboni (which is what Lyndsay keeps thinking is his name)
* Allie is fervently hoping that Professor Slughorn doesn't turn up.
	+ "What if he's still, like, the couch?" ~ Allie
* The uglier the hashtag, the more disgusting the pairing. #Slugmione
* Discussion about how unfortunate it would be to be a Hogwarts teacher and have no boundaries, have to be on the clock all the time, and have no way to escape the students. No wonder Dumbledore had such a hard time filling the teaching posts.
* The many smirks of Draco.
* Guess what Draco's voice and Snape's pubes have in common? They're both silken.
* Allie has already forgotten about Snape's body hair and needs a refresher.
* Lyndsay defends her boo Ron. Allie starts serenading Lyndsay with "Let it Go" from Frozen. Lyndsay jokes that she's going to write a pro-Ron fiction for next season.
	+ "Hey Hermione, I've cleaned the whole house and now I want to go down on you for an hour before I cook dinner."
* Reference to Season 1's pile of towels as a bed. This season it's desks. Where are all the beds in this castle?!
* Lyndsay insists that she would be Luna Lovegood, not (thirsty) Lavender Brown!
* "That son of a Zamboni!" ~ Lyndsay
* Reference to Luke the Magician and that Draco has been stripping for 5 years and has a heart of gold.
* Allie questions whether Amortentia affects the memory of the person affected or not (Lyndsay later confirms no, memory remains intact)
* Allie threatens to resurrect her Austin Powers impression from Season 1 and is quickly shut down by both Lyndsay and Danny.
* Danny wants a Pomfrey story. She must know ALL the secrets of the castle (reference to Botched)
* Dubious consent alert!: Hermione abandons her pursuit of an antidote after one of Draco's kisses.
* Allie and Lyndsay break out in laughter at Draco licking all around the outside of Hermione's lips.
* Un-Hermioneish ways = anything fun
* Trouser bulge! Is that a wand, or are you just happy to see me?
* Robe jokes (chastity robe, crop robe, robe tank, off the shoulder robe, stomach knot robe)
* Reference to Snape's map of Hermione's erogenous zones
* Draco's completely flummoxed by a simple bra. Where do I need to tap to open this?
* Gigglefest: Draco's fingers doing the can-can as they "lightly dance around her nipple". Allie sings Hello! Ma Baby.
* Equal Nipple play
* "Draco, less is more!" ~ Lyndsay (when it comes to nipple flicking anyway)
* Clithanger! ~ Lyndsay
* Hosts are much more on board for first episode of season 2 than they were for first episode of season 1.
* "I don't nipple dance until the 3rd date." ~ Lyndsay
* "We're going to be rubbed raw by episode 12!" ~ Lyndsay
* Allie predicts that Draco is just pretending to have drinken the Amortentia and really just wants Hermione. Lyndsay doesn't think Blaise is smart enough to have set this up, but thinks that once he snaps out of it, they're going to realize they have chemistry. Danny predicts Hogwarts' plumbing will get contaminated and there will be an orgy in the Great Hall.
* What does Draco smell when he smells Amortentia? Death, Snakeskin and blonde hair dye.

## Wands Up or Down?

The official segment was skipped, but the hosts did discuss their thoughts at the end of the reading.

Allie: Up (assumed)

* I'm jazzed up right now
* That was hot!
* I'm into this so far.

Lyndsay: Up (assumed)

* So much sexier than season 1 chapter 1.
* This was great!

Danny: Unclear

* No comments made either way.

## Potterotics homework

What are some of the craziest pairings you have seen/want to see?

Danny wants HaGonagall (Hagrid/McGonagall).

Lyndsay wants Maxinledore (Madame Maxine/Dumbledore).

Allie wants Narcupin (Narcissa/Lupin (suggested by Lyndsay).