Michael Giesbrecht

**Michael Giesbrecht** PC is a former model parliamentarian and former Prime Minister of Canada who was active from MPSP16 to MPSP19. He was the first to represent the riding of St. Albert-Edmonton since its redistribution from Edmonton-St. Albert. In MPSP19, Giesbrecht was elected to represent Burlington as the Leader of Good Old Party. He is also a former oil tycoon and tech enthusiast.

## Personal life & education

Michael Giesbrecht was born in Burlington, Ontario, to a family of modest means. After graduating from Robert Bateman High School, which he attended alongside future Parliamentary colleagues Dan Hux, Tyler Pasta and Quinn Anastas, Giesbrecht moved to Alberta and began work as a worker at an oil company. He slowly moved up the corporate ladder and eventually became CEO and majority shareholder of Giesbrecht Brother Inc.

Following the fall of the INC government in MPSP16 and his joining of the CRIMÉ Party, Giesbrecht sold all of his stock in his company and resigned as CEO to purchase a massive Supercomputer to run his home, retiring with a hefty pension.

The rise of the CPU government created problems across the country, and the people of St. Albert-Edmonton were among the most vulnerable. Before the vote of non-confidence that brought down CPU, androids and robots began to force themselves into a position as robot overlords. In response, Giesbrecht destroyed his massive computer out of fear and joined the FUN Party. At the end of the MPSP17, Giesbrecht relied solely on his income as a Member of Parliament.

As revealed during testimony at the Heritage Committee of MPSP18, Giesbrecht spent the time between MPSP17 and MPSP18 travelling with Jonathan Hopkins in search of the Holy Grail. They travelled across the world (being followed by a Mr. Donovan of Frengland and a Dr. Schneider of Polkraine, both of whom were seeking the grail for their own countries), ending up in the Middle West after having heard of an explorer by the name of Sallah. Sallah led them to what appeared to be a tomb that had been destroyed by an earthquake. The tomb was full of skeletons, but Sallah pointed down a deep hole where he believed the grail to be. Giesbrecht and Hopkins climbed down the hole, finding a "shabby-looking" cup at the bottom, which Sallah was certain was the grail. Giesbrecht and Hopkins immediately returned to Canada, seeking to bring it to its rightful home. However, during a stopover in Sri Lankadesh, the duo had been celebrating with the grail, drinking water out of it but getting surprisingly inebriated, and fell asleep in their hotel room. Upon waking up, the grail, and the holy hand grenade of antioc, were both gone.

## Political Career

### MPSP16

Giesbrecht entered politics in 2015 and was elected as the Member of Parliament for St. Albert-Edmonton under the INC Party. He was appointed to the Privy Council immediately as Minister of the Environment, a role in which his experience as an oil tycoon would be very helpful.

After the resignation of then Prime Minister Jonah Gowans, Giesbrecht crossed the floor to join the PRIME Caucus alongside the Hon. Marcus Mattinson and the Rt. Hon. Taylor Brown. During the second session of the MPSP16, he joined the CRIMÉ Party, which was a coalition of PRIME, BASIC, and ASAP under Prime Minister Marcus Mattinson as Minister of Small Business, Microbreweries, and Tourism.

### MPSP17

The 16th General Election was problematic for the riding of St. Albert-Edmonton as the official results were not reported by the National Roast's election coverage. Giesbrecht accused the outlet of attempting to cover up the results and keep him out of Parliament. After later conferring with Elections Canada, Giesbrecht was confirmed as the Member for St. Albert-Edmonton, but it the result was never officially published by any media outlet.

> "@national\_roast and @308ish are trying to keep my election hidden from the public! Corrupt media is against me! Sad!" - Michael Giesbrecht *Twitter* (@MGiesbrechtMP)
>
>

CPU won the election with 111 seats, compared to the HOOK Party's 97, CLASS Party's 46, MAPLE's 4, and 63 Independent Members. He was officially named Minister of National Defence by Prime Minister Sean Callaghan, a position in which he served for most of the first session of the 16th Parliament. After the fall of the CPU government, Giesbrecht left the caucus and formed the Feudalists United Nationally (FUN) Party alongside his long-lost brother... um... I mean longtime friend, the Hon. Jonathan Hopkins, where he would serve as Deputy Leader. FUN would serve as a third party for the entirety of the second session, and it is here that he proposed Bill C-150 on behalf of the FUN Party, a bill which was passed without amendment.

#### The Getting Back to Basics Act

As Deputy Leader of FUN, Giesbrecht tabled Bill C-150, the *Getting Back to Basics Act**.* The Bill brought forward provisions to bring Canada back to a simpler time. The bill introduced serious proposals for the government to study, including the reintroduction of Noble Houses to Canada, the search for the Holy Grail, and the flight and migration patterns of swallows (both European and African) and how coconuts affect these patterns. The bill also reintegrates the gold coin as the new old currency for Canada, legalizes duelling in some cases, grants defendants against the crown the choice of trial by combat, makes jousting the national summer combat sport, recreates the Royal Guard, which will have jurisdiction anywhere the monarch deems fit, begin negotiations with the Kingdom of Camelot to join the roundtable, and, most significantly, recognizes January 19 of every year as Suraj Sinha Day.

### MPSP18

During MPSP18, Giesbrecht led the Canadian Alliance of Steins and Kegs (CASK), a party that advocated for increased beverage rights and freedoms of all Canadians, as well as for measures that maintained the purity of alcoholic beverages and sharing Canadian beverages across the world. With an initial leadership team including Deputy Leader Taylor Sullivan, House Leader Alec Connor and Whip Hannah Anstey, CASK was polling in potential super majority territory with very high approval ratings. However, Sullivan left shortly following the party's founding to found WAVE, resulting in chaos and a vacuum in the leadership team. The polling numbers plummeted, and CASK ended up finishing a distant second place, which led to Giesbrecht becoming Leader of the Official Opposition.

Giesbrecht focused his efforts as Leader of the Opposition on noted weak points for Sullivan and WAVE, asking questions regarding the Droid Attack on the Wookiees, the *Making Dreams Come True Act* and the Rum Sands, amongst other areas. During the second question period of day one, Giesbrecht revealed that he had been attacked in his office by what he believed to be a White Walker. He called on the government to support an expedition to the North to investigate the phenomena. Giesbrecht would subsequently move a non-confidence motion in the government following Question Period. Following the non-confidence vote, it was agreed that WAVE had lost the confidence of the House and that a coalition of CASK, le Parti Quartier (with whom Giesbrecht had negotiated an agreement before entering the House of Commons that they would sit as the Macdonald-Cartier Coalition) and GOT would form the new government, with Giesbrecht as Prime Minister.

Following the debate on Bill C-12: *The 12 Steps to Economic Recovery and Preparing for Winter Act* and Question Period, Giesbrecht announced that he would resign as Prime Minister to support the claim of his good friend and former leader in the FUN Caucus, Jonathan Hopkins. Giesbrecht would sit alongside GOP for the rest of the Parliamentary session, later stating that he "felt at home" amongst his "fellow once-upon-a-time Prime Ministers" and that it was "good for the sciatica."

### MPSP19

During MPSP19, Giesbrecht decided to seek election in his home riding of Burlington as leader of GOP rather than St Albert-Edmonton, which he had represented for the previous three Parliaments. Originally, Giesbrecht was challenging longtime MP Dan Hux for the seat, with Giesbrecht and GOP launching a negative attack campaign against Hux. However, Hux would eventually drop out of the race, leaving the race wide open for Giesbrecht.

Upon his election, Giesbrecht began to focus on promoting Burlington to Parliament and the rest of the country.