Journalism (Assorted)

The following is a collection of articles, news headers, interviews, documentaries and other various kinds of journalistic media from the B-Verse. They are sorted by date written, not chronological order.

## Angle Magazine: An Interview With Lancelle Ott

**Angle Magazine: Your Premier Source For Fashion News In The Super City**
*“Superhero and Fashion Model Lancelle Ott Talks Legacies, Queer Identity, Revolutionizing Fashion And Their Debut Onto The Modeling Scene”*
*By Jonathan Sand*
Lancelot du Lac (she/they), or sir Lancelot of the Round Table as she is quick to correct people, is best known for their work as a superhero as part of Halcyon’s own renowned Big Team. A career that is, despite being steeped in controversy from her admission to her eventual departure, nothing if not illustrious. Recently, though, Halcyonites have been treated to glimpses of their favourite teen Arthurian in an entirely new way, as her face has been decorating the billboards and ads of downtown Halcyon City.
Angle Magazine sits down with her to discuss their new role as the face of Xistence’s new line of gender neutral dresses.
**Hi Lancelle, welcome to the studio.**
Hi! My thanks, John, I was happy to receive your invitation.
**Long time fans would be quick to notice that you use a… pseudonym of sorts for your modeling work.**
Indeed! It is a bit of a jape at my own expense. When I accepted the job, I knew I had to go by something else; after all, not only are modeling and my work as a knight very different, but my predecessor already modeled under the name Lancelot, so I had to find a way to set myself apart.
**Thus ‘Lancelle Ott’ was born.**
That is where the jape comes in! Lancelle Ott is the name I went by upon my first arrival to this city. [laughs] Nobody has ever accused me of subtlety! Honestly, failed attempts at hiding my identity aside, I think that’s a strength. I know who I am and what I stand for and I show it. And I show it off.
**You really do. You’ve been very open about your identity in the past, even appearing prominently at Halcyon Pride last year alongside some of your teammates from the Big Team. How did that affect your decision to take this job?**
Well, as you are mayhap aware, I am fluid of gender. That means different things to different folk, but for me it means that I change like the tides, oft one, oft multiple, oft neither - so I know what it’s like to be caught in the wrong clothes! Growing up as I do, you are very much taught that different clothes are for different things, but sometimes you just don’t have the luxury to change, whether it’s because you’re tardy or because you have to fight a rampant mantichore.
**Everyday events for the average Halcyonite**.
As a nobleman’s daughter I was taught from a young age to appreciate fine clothes and fabrics, to dress for the occasion. I was taught the importance of dressing to impress. As a nobleman’s son, however, I was taught the importance of freedom of movement, of pockets deep enough for sticks and frogs and mud, and of clothes that don’t rip or stain. [laughs]
**It’s not form or function, it’s form and function.**
Yes! Well said! And the seamstresses at Xistence want to prove that both are possible, that you don’t need to compromise style for ease. And that it’s not bound by gender, either. It’s for everyone who wants it. I’m told a special line for Transformed is even coming!
**I’m sure they’d appreciate that up in Zodiac City.**
I hope they do. The plight of the Transformed is very dear to me.
**What is it that makes these dresses so special?**
They are handmade using traditional techniques combined with modern advances in technology. That means all the benefit of modern society without the exploitation - Xistence is dedicated to sustainable and ethical fashion. I am told this is called ‘slow fashion’ - but I don’t know, I can move pretty fast in them! [laughs]
Not just that, but they’re designed by people who actually wear dresses, and you’d be surprised how rare that is. They truly know what they’re doing. The fabric resist tears and stains - one of them is even completely hydrophobic. It won’t protect you from a full stab, of course, but let me tell you, these garments won’t cut easily.
**Your former team has been in the news a lot recently, and not all of it has been good. Do you have anything you want to tell the citizens of Halcyon about the Big Team?**
I support them unequivocally. It would not be an exaggeration to say that I would not be here without the Big Team, and I may not be an active member of the group anymore, but I will always be there for them. You know, they are actually also how I first got into modeling -
**You have nothing to say in response to the criticisms offered by GAMBITE and their more moderate compatriots?**
[scowls] One doth not respond to enemy propaganda, bard.
**So you’re saying we’re at war?**
Nay! Were we at war, you would know it. I -
**Is your support for the Big Team in this time of crisis at all related to your own history of brutality? Your fight with GREY and, more recently, your confrontation with Red Beetle in Hungary went viral for what many considered to be excess force.**
I was told this interview would be about my work as a model, not my reputation as a knight.
**Consumers have a right to know who they’re buying from -**
[leans forward] Doth thee wisheth to be challenged to a duel, Jonathan Sand? For this is how one gets challenged to a duel.
**Gulp. Never mind?**
[smiles] As I said, Jonathan Sand, I am very excited about Xistence’s latest line, and I am sure the public will be as well.

The new dress line, which debuted at Halcyon Fashion Week, will be in stores February 20th. The garments will go from 300 to 5000 USD, prices that Lancelle assures me are ‘perfectly serviceable prices for textile products’ and also ‘how the fuck are your clothes so cheap do you know how much work it is to weave a yard of cloth’.

## BeTube - Comments Section

**Comments on “REAL!! EL DUENDE UNMASKED!!!!! SECURITY CAM FOOTAGE NOT A SCAM” - BeTube: Be Yourself**
*54,089 views - 2.2k likes - 6.3k dislikes*
*Uploaded by SuperScoopSP March 01 2020*
**xXSnowSneopard02 - 1 day ago**
Jajaja dude looks like hes got a appointment 2 keep with a colouring book
*2 replies - 307 likes*
**ScepticFox - 23 hours ago**
Deepfake. Gotta be. No way a kid that young could survive getting thrown off a building let alone beat La Garra Morada.
*103 replies - 50 likes - 567 dislikes*

* **Chile Muerto - 22 hours ago**

*ScepticFox* No way dude, they’re getting younger all the time. Have you seen some of those kids fighting in Halcyon? Like they threw a bus full of middle schoolers into a radioactive vat.

* **TheRalphTheory - 22 hours ago**

*Chile Muerto* That’s Halcyon. Might as well be fucking Mars, man, that place is crazy. This is Spain, not some fantasyland.

* **Bravefrogy - 22 hours ago**

*ScepticFox* Addgdjsgdbfick check out this fools profile he thinks literally everything is fake he even has a video saying the curvature of the earth is a league of heroes deepfake the fucking moron lmaooooo

* *View all 103 replies V*
* **TheRationalSlayer - 1 hour ago**

*Dank Lord Jar Jar* Tell that to the millions killed under soviet rule you fucking pussilanimous ingrate. Btw, its “thei’r”, not “they’re”. Learn grammar.
**OpinionHaver3000 - 9 hours ago**
Aww, he’s so cute! Looks kinda like my cousin except the burn wounds

## Missed Connections

**HonestHalcyon.net**
**Your Source for Missed Connections & Anonymous Confessions**
8:35 P.M. You: Tall, dressed all in black with a red bird mask and the most glorious shadow wings. Me: The hero who threw you into a fire hydrant and stopped you from making off with the BISHOP blueprints. I saw you take off your mask in the alleyway, and your face, flushed with frustration and the thrill of the fight, was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Won’t you meet with me? I won’t turn you in, I just want to go out for drinks. If you feel the same, meet me where we first fought.
9:12 P.M. You: The young lady in Philosotea yesterday, out with her friends after school. Me: The spider transformed in the corner. I’m sorry I scared your friends away, I just wanted to tell you how much I loved your hedgehog socks. They went very well with your flats. I forget what I look like, sometimes.
10:00 P.M. To my former family and friends: I’m sorry it had to come to this. Please believe me when I say I never wished to fight you, but you don’t know what I know. You haven’t been in my shoes. I’ve tried everything else, but this is the only way to make change in this world. I still love you.
10:30 P.M. Have you been experiencing dizziness or nausea in the morning? Unexplainable puncture wounds? Lost time? Have any of your relatives been acting strangely? Seen any strange bats around, or short Iranian girls? Message me at VHSTIPS@GMAIL.COM
11:09 P.M. You: A Villain. Any villain at all, or even an antihero, I’m not picky. Me: A cute spunky young heroine looking for love, and your biggest fan! Contact me!
11:10 P.M. To Mayor Crossover: You’re not a superhero anymore. You’re a mayor and you need to do what your people want, and the people say OUT WITH THE BIG TEAM. Stop playing favorite on your team and put them in jail where they belong! GAMBITE WAS RIGHT
11:11 P.M. To the person posting above me: Really? Gambit was right? Youd be dust if theyd been succesful, they tried to nuke us all! Of all the insensitive shit i never thought id see
11:45 P.M. Has anyone else noticed all the disappearances lately nobody is commenting on it but im sure im next im all allne im being followed i saw someone with a hebracelectsryfghvjguwwwwwwwWHO KNOWS WHO KNOWS OUR NAME WE DONT HAVE TO STAND WITHOUT EACHOTHER WE DONT HAVE TO STAND WITHOUT EACHOTHER IVE COME NOW WHO KNOWS OUR NAME WHO KNOWS WHO KNOW OUR [user has reached the message limit]

## Die Zeit - Science News

**DIE ZEIT**
**University Hospital Nuremberg To Pioneer Revolutionary New Autoimmune Treatment**
January 3rd, 2016
By Andrea Martinus
*Translated from German*
Being diagnosed with Jallico’s Syndrome has long been a slow death sentence. University Hospital Nuremberg is trying to change that with a new program meant to develop new treatments for the autoimmune disorder. “We’re extremely proud to be pioneering this new research,” says Dr. Edelgard, head of Experimental Research. “It will be the first such project focused on this disorder.”
Nuremberg hospital is one of the main beneficiaries of Wir Sind Hier, a recent charity drive organised to raise money for research into rare autoimmune disorders. The program made headlines early this year with its provocative advertisements in public transport, featuring portraits of patients - many of them children - and the line “we will be dead next year.”
“We’ve already had notable success with a hypertech solution in the past,” Edelgard says, “but due to the varying properties of hypertech fields this has been unsustainable in the long run as cures break down outside very specific situations, and hypertech cannot be reproduced. With the money from this program we are hoping to establish a reproducible solution based in regtech - regular, non-super technology - within the next four years.”
Jallico’s Syndrome has been considered incurable since its initial discovery in 1992 by Edward Jallico, and due to its extreme rarity - with a total of 308 cases since then - not much has been done to rectify that, as much of the medical community considers it not worth the effort. To that, Dr. Edelgard has nothing good to say. “It’s despicable. Humans are no cattle to be slaughtered or cast aside when defunct. The purpose of medicine is to find the cure for any and every ailment, not to pick and choose what is damaging enough.
Powerful words, and not entirely unfounded; University Hospital Nuremberg has had a reputation as a forward thinking and innovative modern hospital since its founding in 1411 as “Saint Adelaide’s”. According to local legend, the hospital was founded by a plague doctor that survived the greatest outbreak of bubonic plague in european history and vowed never to let something like it happen again. Since then, the institution has contributed greatly to the field of medicine.
Due to the experimental nature of the treatments, the hospital will only be admitting two patients for the program. A spokesperson for the hospital said that though they could not reveal the precise identities, both candidates have already been chosen.

## High Profile, High Advantage

**hollaatcha789.bumblr.com**
March 10, 2020
By HollaAtcha789
If you’ve been following the state of Roller Derby across Halcyon and Zodiac for the past year or so you may have noticed a worrisome trend. So called “Heroes” are getting way too much attention in the sport. Now I know what you’re all thinking “Oh great, another article about superheroes in sports” but physical advantages are not what I’m talking about here today, I’m talking about spotlight.
Consider. You’ve been spending years working on steps, stops, falls, and crossovers, perfecting your craft so that you can take the stage during bouts. You get rostered onto a team and then jam after jam you have big name heroes like Bruise CTRL come in and wear the star over and over. And it doesn’t even matter how many points she scores, she’s still credited with “winning the bout” for the team. Did she earn her presence in the rotation? Hell no! If I wasn’t writing this anonymously I’d get tons of flack for saying this, but she barely shows up to practice and it shows. I can guarantee whatever she’s up to with her pretentious hero team isn’t more important than attending scrimmages. And yet people worship the track she skates on because she’s “famous” and has “cool horns”. People! There are better skaters in Halcyon!
My point is, superheroes have a spotlight, they get plenty of attention in their own gig, and yet they insist on coming into sports and stealing it away from us! We need to take the time to highlight the people who don’t have to wear power nullifying bands to competitions, and give average people the time to shine. And this doesn’t just apply to roller derby, I’m sorry Challenge stans, but you need to find a better role model.
I’m going to be running a weekly column on my blog highlighting skaters that don’t leverage their fame when taking the track, and you can bet Bruise CTRL will not be making the cut.
Peace,
Holla