But what about your future?

Firecracker - by the onyx
- 4 months before the events of TATOK

## 1 - mental essays about people who aren't there

Burn had never been happier in his life. At least, that's what he told himself. If he said it enough, it had to become true at some point.

He was walking up the stairs to the sixth floor to get himself some lemonade, and this was all he could think about. He was free! The whole continent was free!

That face that haunted minds, those paws that held the nose blood of so many innocent children, those eyes that cut like knives and that voice that turned gentle words into mental blades, all gone. The figure hiding in shadows and the monster stalking the hallways, absent at last. The kid he dragged half-drowned from the creek into the palace for Queen Permafrost to adopt, never to be seen again.

Burn paused for a moment. Hmm. I forgot I did that.

If Burn didn't think about it, he could pretend River was pure evil and deserved this. The nightmare of the kingdoms, gone, finally. He deserved to disappear. ...But he knew Permafrost, he knew Toad, and he wasn't just any other citizen of the palace- he knew River too.

Words could not describe the utter agony in Permafrost's eyes. It had been a month, maybe, maybe two now, and she still looked weary beyond the letters, not even bothering to clean up the mascara that had dried down her face anymore. Burn had never seen her more truly in pain in his life- not even with the events of the right wing. He had never seen her cry this much, and she had admitted she cried all the time.

And there was Toad. Burn didn't even have any similes for the way HE looked, except that he had just been hit by a bus and then managed to get up just to see his house hit and rolled over by the exact same bus that had hit him. That was barely good enough in the first place.

If he thought about it for a while, Burn could feel himself tearing up. He didn't know what happened to the kid, but he was gone. No-one could do anything to be worthy of a fate like that. No body, unable to be found, never seen again- it was horrible.

The moment didn't last. River was pretty horrible too. He continued walking again, up the many, many many stairs.

River didn't deserve the attention, if Burn was being honest. He didn't deserve these paragraphs. He had enough paragraphs and attention already, with the amount of times people from other kingdoms had jumped him.

River wasn't even a main character in this story. Why was he mentioning him?

Burn swished his firey tail. He had never been happier in his life. Look at how well the people were doing! Actual kids were playing outside of their homes, and people would actually take the time to look around the third floor. People were talking more, everyone seemed much happier... it was great! It was great. He had never been happier in his life. Not once.

"I want to be a guard."

Burn almost fell all the way back down the stairs, the fog of his thoughts shattering at the voice. "Wha-"

"I want to be a guard!"

A short blob of citrus orange was in front of him, staring at him determinedly.

Oh.

Oh, wait. That's Toad, isn't it?

"Toad?" Burn mumbled, words fumbling. "Where'd you come from?"

Toad peered at him, brows furrowed. "Are you internally monologuing? While walking up stairs?"

Burn gave no response.

"That's really not safe, y'know."

They both stood there quietly for a minute or two, and Burn inspected Toad- he hadn't seen him since around when River went missing.

Toad was no bigger than he had been two months ago. Burn remembered he hadn't been that much smaller three months ago either. He wondered if Toad was going to get any bigger at all, considering he was 13 now and still 4'11". Toad looked tired- no, not tired, sleep deprived- and appeared far more grumpy than he had before. Toad also looked depressed. Toad of all people was not supposed to look depressed.

"Did you even hear me?" Toad grumbled.

Burn frowned. "Yes, yes, I did." He paused. "What was the first thing you said?"

Toad huffed. "I want to be a guard."

This time Burn actually almost fell down the stairs.

## 2 - let's get down to business, just don't tell, my mom

He started cackling, despite Toad's expression. "YOU? YOU WANT TO BE ONE?"

The small yellow-orange cat shifted. He scrunched up his nose. "Not if you're going to act like this-"

Burn tried to hide how hilarious the whole thing was. "The palace hasn't needed new guards in ages. Maybe the plate borders, but not the palace. Even if you got the border, you'd have to go miles out and just walk around the plate edges constantly for intruders- (Heh. Like anyone comes here.) I mean, people do that, but it doesn't seem all that fun. Plus, you're a bit... well..."

Toad sighed. "Yes, I know, I'm really short. I can see that."

"And why don't you want to be around your family anymore? You were all so close. And your cousin- you were with her all the time."

"Yeah. And now she's throwing confetti everywhere she goes because my friend is gone."

"... ... ...Didn't you used to play with Indestructible? You two were always together. What happened to that?"

Toad frowned. "Indestructible's a jerk. I don't want to play with her."

"You were the best of friends."

"Oh yeah, we were. I wonder what made that break, hmm?"

Burn had no idea what Toad was referring to.

Burn hesitated, then leaned down a bit to face the little cat. "You know, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here. I know you've gone through... quite a few things these last few months, you and Permafrost, and if you don't feel like you can vent to your parents, I'm no therapist, but I can try-"

"You're going to tell me how great my life is now and how I shouldn't be 'brainwashed by the past'. I've heard that before. That's all they say. They're overjoyed this all happened. I don't need your condolences.

Burn winced. "Eeh, that does sounds like your mother."

Toad stamped a foot on the ground. "And that's why I want to get away from them! Come on, you're Queen Permafrost's best. You can train me and stuff!" He did a few air punches "I'll be great!"

The flame-patterned cat laughed. "That's what you think." He put his paws on his hips. "It's surprisingly hard. This is no video game or anything. There is no montage. The days feel like years and the hours feel like days. You won't have a skip button, nothing like that."

Burn had no video games. He barely knew what they were. (The only one he had played was Pretty Princess Party, and that was with Queen Permafrost, and in the middle of the night. He refused to tell anyone about that.) He knew Toad loved them. He thought, in his head, that he must sound either very stupid or very cool referencing those things in front of Toad.

He hoped he sounded cool. He was too young to be talking about things he didn't know like he was old.

However, the pure, unbridled rage in Toad's cactus green eyes was something he had not expected.

"Do you think I'm blind?? Bro, of course there's no fruiting skip button in life! I know it takes effort! I have other hobbies besides playing video games, you know!!"

Burn scrunched up his nose. "Language."

"Have you not seen ANY of my stunts? I sledded all the way down all six flights, and you didn't hear about ANY OF IT? Have you NOT seen any of my costumes?"

Burn cocked his head, brows arched. "That Sailor Moon character? She isn't from a game?"

Toad shrugged. "I mean, there's probably a game out there but it's an ANIME, not a game."

"Hmm."

No words were spoken for a time. Then Toad's eyes widened, and he slapped his face with his paw. "Dear chasms I am so sorry I sound like such a brat! Who would listen to someone who talks like THIS?? What was the point of any of that?? Just because nobody knows what I like doesn't mean I have to start screaming about it, especially in front of BURN OF ALL PEOPLE-"

Burn was unsure whether that was a positive or negative remark. He tried to imagine it as positive.

Toad straightened, looking up at Burn determinedly once again, but in his gaze more Toad-ness than he had presented the first time.

That sentence definitely made sense.

"I would like to train to be a guard, knight, whatever it is. I know of how hard it will be, I know of the effort it will take, that there is no way to make it go faster or end or skip button or montage, and I am ready and as prepared as I can be for that. I want to spend days practicing like patrolling and stuff, I want to fill up my time doing things instead of sitting alone and getting injured-"

"Getting injured??"

"Yeah... ...I can show you the scars. The one from the mess up with my skateboard looks pretty cool- anyways-"

Burn sighed. He dragged Toad up to the closest floor and stood tall and stiff in front of him. He cleared his throat. "Toad Johnson, despite your age, size and, erm, -ness, you have convinced me, and I have decided to train you in becoming us cool people. Do you swear that you will follow my orders and stay focused and diligent, even when it becomes difficult?"

"Y-yes sir."

"You can just say yes- I'm like the least formal guy we have here- but I guess that works too. Do you swear to never misuse the skills you will learn, not even on the ones you hate?"

There was hesitation this time. "...Yes."

"Do you swear not to eat the last Dorito if I said it was mine then decided to take a two hour and fifty-five minute shower, even if you have not eaten for seventy-six days now?"

Toad was quiet for a while. Then a nervous grin cracked on his face as he looked back up at Burn. "That is asking too much of me." Every word was a giggle. "I don't think I'm ready."

Burn snickered. "Then we have some work to do."

Toad stopped in his tracks. He looked terrified. "Wait that was a real qu-"

"I'm joking! I'm joking!" Burn couldn't help but laugh. "I would never want that from anyone." He blinked. "Although, I guess it could stand for integrity? I dunno."

Toad started laughing too. "Aahh, phew- oh, if you really did take a two hour shower, I probably would take that Dorito. sorry.

"Honestly, I would too. You should be glad you didn't ask Titian- that would have been a serious question."

"No way."

"Yeah."

The air felt far less tense now, and seeing Toad like this again made Burn smile. Kids like Toad didn't deserve to look so sad all day, not ever.

"How about we talk about it over, maybe, some lemonade?" Burn suggested. He felt his stomach rumble, adding "and maybe some cherries. Or strawberries. Maybe a churro."

Toad raised an eyebrow. "Churros and lemonade?" He paused, then shrugged. "I'm starving. Sounds great."

Aha. Burn's master plan was succeeding already.

He grinned, turning to the stairs again. People were staring at them, faces a muddle of curiosity, bewilderment and warmth, but he paid no attention to them. "Don't worry. I have the best place to go."

## 3 - like seriously though.

"Soo, you like skateboarding?" Burn said.

Toad nodded. "Yeah! For a while Smog let me use his but I finally got my own a couple months ago. Mom doesn't like me riding it through the hallways that much, but there's really nowhere else to do it. The main is usually busy too. Where does she think I'm going to use it, outside?" He grinned. "She doesn't seem to have heard about the jumps I've been doing on it, though. That's good."

"Clarification: you like... being risky?" Burn said, eyebrows arched.

"That makes it sound silly, but yeah. That's the best. And if you don't hurt yourself, you look pretty sick doing it."

"Huh." Burn smiled. "I really did think you were all into your games."

"Oh, I am." Toad mumbled. "I really am. But I can't play video games all day, as much as I wish I could sometimes. And sometimes I would rather be active, I guess. Minecraft is great but it really doesn't give you that much movement." His words started to crawl towards what Burn knew was predestined to come back. Toad frowned, his expression darkening. "I also... kind of stopped... for a while... after..."

"Your friend?"

"...River. Yeah. Indestructible isn't into Minecraft as much as I am, and it's really boring to play alone, y'know?"

Dear chasms. Like the plague, this likely dead teenager diseased another line.

"Have you played Pretty Princess Party?" Burn blurted out.

Toad gave a frustrated huff and a suspicious look. "Yes. It's great. Have YOU?"

"Maybe."

Toad snickered. "The library was fun to decorate."

"I spent way too long with my bedroom."

"Ah. Same."

"The minigames are silly."

"Doing that spin in front of people for tons of money is even sillier."

"Hahaha, I forgot about that."

Quietly they finished the stretch up to the sixth floor, the colorful smells ablaze in the most mouthwatering way.

One building alongside a large stone pillar had especially enticing aromas- of cinnamon and sugar and citrus, and Burn made a beeline for it, almost unable to keep himself at a walking pace.

He opened the door to a cowbell banging above his head, the citrus scent overpowering and a cheerful voice from a counter at the far wall. "Hey, Burn! What can I get for you today?"

Burn and Toad sat down at a table on the right end of the space, both of them taking in the pale yellow walls, stone floor and variety of soft chairs and couches amassing the space, like a furniture store and a cafe at the same time. It was weird. A lot of things were weird around here.<Toad peered at the menu that was already on the table. Burn didn't even pick his up, grinning at the barn owl behind the main counter.

"Raspberry lemonade! And a dozen churros. Maybe some of that cream cheese stuff on the side."

"Ooh, that's a lot today!" The owl turned to the little yellow cat opposite of Burn curiously. "You have a friend this time?"

wip