Absolute Disaster

Absolute Disaster in their prime

**[G] Absolute Disaster** are a Dark Elf team currently playing in Division 3 of REBBL's GMAN region. They are coached by TomasT.

They joined GMAN in Season 7 after the team was created during Disasters Anonymous session. After Flood accidentaly flooded the living room they went outside, found some old ribcage and discovered their common passion for throwing it around. The initial owner of the rib cage was adamant to keep it as it supposedly provided some "vital function" to him. Turned out it did, but who would trust a hobgoblin. They immeditally set up a friendly match against some hobo gobos from under the nearest bridge. The match went so well (apart American Voting System dying) that they decided to create a regular team.

The name they selected was based on both the synergical effect of all Disasters playing for one team, and the expected result of the league games. Suprisingly enough they did not implode and just narrowly missed their playoff spot in 4A in Season 7.

Currently they are trying not to finish last in the division 3 full of season 7 play-off teams.

## History

### Greenhorn

Having very successfull preseason they decided to get the Hurricane's cousine Irma to play as Witch Elf in their last preseason match. Irma was able to score touchdown but ended her short career under proelf boot. The team was struck with grief and put all their effort to clone Irma. After succesfully cloning and naming her Irma 2.0, they decided that every player that will need to leave the team will be cloned.

### Season 7

The start of the season 7 almost coppied the team name. Blitzer Vulcano died on dodge in the first match and the team lost to Skaven. After 3 games they were 1-0-2 and lost Vulcano's replacement Volcano (messed up clone) and Kim J. Un's feet got hurt. Only the huge lack of players, and rolling AGI+ on this next level up, saved Kim from being sacked. The turning poing of the season was match against **Underworld Unimpressives** that they won unexpectedly 4-1 and set themselves on the path of recovery and hope of play-off spot. In the middle of the season they got beaten by fresh Lizardmen team and the playoff dreams were shattered. Unexpectedly one of the biggest play-off contenders had a bad strike of several terrible matches and the playoff dream was revived and lived until the very last match of division 4A between Underworld Unimpressives and <:3]~, which the Skaven team lost. With that the play-off execution of Absolute Disaster has been cancelled.

### Open Invitational

As parting Season 7 gift Witch Elf Katrina rolled STR+ as her first level. She as well rolled double both down as her very first block after acquiring said STR+. The both down resulted in her death and she was lucky the appothecary was not drunk yet in turn 1 and saved her. The whole team then suffered panic attack trying to avoid 2 Mighty Blow, Piling On dwarfs for whole 15 turns and totaly forgot to play. Eventually Kim J. Un paid the price for Katrina's life and another stat bust was last in his Blood Bowl career. Rumour has it he then had a very short career in adult movies industry. It ended after he suffered yet another "unspecified" stat bust after an incident involving cigar guillotine. Details were not disclosed. Team lost AGI5 blitzer but his clone adapted well and team got a new healthy blodger for season 8.

Accquiring sufficient levels the team decided to skip the last game in Invitational and spent 2 weeks in Hawai. Poor Hawaiians.

### Season 8

New season found the team in Division 3 along with 6 play-off teams and the play-off dreams were gone even before the first match started.

The first match was against **3 Mouseketeers (& spares)** who won their division last year. With 2 MV 10 Gutter runners the hope of a win was rather low. Irma 2.0 showed how dangerous she is and injured one line rats and killed thrower in first 2 turns and KO'd 3 others along the way. Rats were able to score but had to use Wizzard in the process. When the elfs set up for their first One Turn Touchdown ever the Pitch Invasion distrupted their plans and they went 0:1 into the 2nd half. Rats were lacking numbers so Absolute Disaster went for quick score. This allowed them to sack the ball as the outnumbered rats ran out of options and score again. Rats were not able to execute the OTTD and AD won 2:1

Their second match was agains another season 7 division winner - **Ghyran Raiders** couched by **Cerumol.** Raiders lacked the Tackle players which gave the elfs hope. The 2 key players of Raiders did not have a good day as the killer was not able to remove players and the Beast Of Nurgle was rolling Both Downs. This resulted in sacking the ball in the middle of first half and Irma 2.0 was able to recover it and ran to safe scoring position. Elfs wanted to the score fast in 2nd half to decide the match. This lead them to risky play that was immediately punished, but luckily enough Meteor survived both the hit and subsequent faul. Due to this Meteor was able to pick up the ball and score, leaving 5 turns for Nurgle to score twice. Nurgle was able to score in 2 turns despite their ball carrier being surfed of the pitch in the process. In the remaining 3 turns elfs sidecaged with ball in opposition half hoping to score but the cage dive and surfing of Irma 2.0 changed the plans. Nurgle was not able to repeat the heroic play from the first touchdown and AD claimed another huge 2:1 win.

In their 3rd match the team met another Skaven team **Primetime Nibblers****.** This time they did not induce wizard but DP player, bribe and Skitter. The team was able to KO the Skaven killer twice in the first half. But one time he was appo'ed and second time he woke up. This was essential part of the final result. Skaven were able to score without big troubles and left 3 turn for elfs to equalize which they did. In the second half both team had 11 players on the pitch and elfs were progressing slowly towards the endzone. Players were removed on both side along the way. In turn 14 the elf coach did a tactical mistake and allowed the skaven team to do semi crazy play that resulted in stolen ball. Skaven put the ball on their one turn in reach of scoring and almost out of reach of blitzing. Despite elfs being able to blitz the ball carrier they did not get the required result and the one turner scored without troubles. Elfs tried one turn touch down again but the Blitz for the rats confused the elfs so much they were not able to pull it off and coined the final result 1:2. Despite the loss coach gained a valuable lesson and lost 2 years of life.

After the unfortunate loss the team was put against dangerous Amazon team **Rockomotive Gitstompers****.** The match went terrible in every way it could. The coach was not at his best and missed Diving Tackle 3 times. Despite the proclaimed 75% success rate for the agility 4, Dodge players it was the other way around. The result was catastrophic. The team lost the ball and it the effort to thin at least the amazon team numbers the Irma 2.0 killed herself on 2D block. It was only beginning of the downfall though. During the defense Flood decided to provide assist to foul the amazon POMB killer. The foul failed and Flood ended his career with broken neck. The team was able to turn the amazon over and score. They had to leave them 2 turns to score which the amazon were able to with a little luck. Kicker and Blitzer Volcano 2.0 were lost in the efforts as well and the team lost 500TV in single match.

Significantly trimmed the team was able to clone Irma 2.0 and Irma 3.0 came to life for the match against Human team **Brutal Deluxe****.** The match started on a great note when rock inured human blitzer who was instantly appo'ed. That was unfortunately the last good thing to happen n that match. The human POMB blitzer started to remove players and killed Blodger Lineman Tsunami in turn 2. Despite trying their best both Irma 3.0 and Katrina roller 1 in 9s on their blocks and ran out of rerols. Wizard was used in turn 3 and the fight for the ball in the middle of the field continued to the end of the half when the human catcher moved alone to the scoring position. Irma 3.0 rolled double skull on the blitz and the humans were able to score. Hope for equalizing touchdown was shattered by the Blitz event and the team went 0:2 after 2 turns trying to recover the ball. Despite being able to score in 2 turns themselves, there was not enough players to steal the ball and equalized. In fact they got rolled over and Katrina ended up missing next game. Another 110TV drop for the team and loss 1:3. The team lost any playoffs hopes and they rest of the season they will try to recover the losses.

## Notable Players

### Active

* Irma 2.0
* Flood
* Katrina
* Meteor