Pirates and Princesses

**Date Started:** Nov 26 2019
**Date Completed:** Ongoing
**Users Involved:** User:Vomitics, User:PuddingCups
* Skull Heart: Big Bertha
* Lyudmila Heralden

The seas were quiet. Too quiet. Bertha's large body burst through the door of her quarters, the wood floor of her ship, the Pink lady, creaking due to her weight and begging for mercy with every step. "BOYYYYYYSSS!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, the men of her ship came running. "Tell me I'm pretty." She smiled, a crooked ugly smile that revealed her crooked ugly teeth! "You are beautiful Lady Bertha! The prettiest pirate! The pirate queen!" The hailed, bowing to her. "Bring me my mirror!" She demanded and they scurried away, coming back moments later with a giant full body mirror that was clearly heavy and difficult to hold as the men struggled even all together.

"A little to the left..." The woman said, winking at her reflection. "Now to the righhhhttt." She said and the men obeyed as she blew a kiss. "Perfect!" Bertha exclaimed. After multiple poses, and multiple howls of pain from the men in which the mirror was crushing, Bertha saw something *not so pretty* in the mirror and it sure as hell wasn't her! "A ship!" She growled, turning around and looking at what appeared to be a mere merchant ship. The perfect sitting duck for a Pirate Crew.

Inside the Princess' quarters, she sat at her desk with her elbows laid across in frustration. Brow furrowed, Lyudmila stared at the map in front of her. The large pained window behind her beamed light down onto her desk and it reflected off of the crystal paperweights holding the map open. "So if we are here and I need to be... There" she pushed a wooden ship across the map, a perfect replica of her own life-size ship. Each detail was intricately carved onto the tiny piece of wood. "No," Lyudmila placed her fingers on her forehead and sighed. She was an excellent navigator and geographer, but she was burnt out. She was finished with this today and decided to move on to something else. Pushing aside the paperweights, the map spun closed and shot up. Scooting her chair backward, she stood up and watched the waves fold over behind the ship as they made their way across the blue sea.

Lyudmila believed they were making good time on their journey, so did her crew that she acquired on short notice. Originally, these men weren't her first choice, but with the state of their country, her old crew no longer wanted to voyage with the Princess of Veridin. So, she had to throw together a crew in only day's notice. Most of them weren't overly muscular, but they were in tip-top shape, which was all that mattered. As long as they could listen and manage their orders, Lyudmila had no qualms with them. At least they'd all had previous experience at sea...

"M'lady, we've spotted a ship in the distance. We will try to make contact to see if they are foe or friend." A man with a deep voice walked in and started speaking. "A ship? Odd. We haven't seen one in these parts this entire voyage. Very well, try to make contact with them. Now leave me." She spoke with dignity and grace as a princess should. She waved her hand at him to exit her quarters as she continued to stare out the window deep in thought. "Yes, your highness." he bowed, uncomfortably and shakily. Her crew wasn't used to such formalities, but Lyudmila insisted on keeping them. If she allowed pirates such as these to drop her title, what type of monarch would she be? The last thing she wanted was to be deemed an unfit ruler and abdicate.

The ships came closer and closer, with sails raised, tensions soaring, and waters raging. Bertha grabbed a telescope, peering through it at the enemy vessel, which despite being a merchant ship, looked to be very expensive. Finely crafted, well made, it was clearly an expensive galleon that not just anyone could get their hands on. As the woman's eye roamed, looking onto the sail she could see a crest, a coat of arms of sorts that resembled royalty! Closing her telescope and throwing it towards one of her henchman, Bertha smiled. "Looks like we've struck gold!" Scurrying over to the wheel and using her ships own magic to gain speed, she was able to cut her target off, blocking their path with her slightly larger and somehow faster ship.

Making her way to the very edge, she grabbed a hand held fan and waved it in front of her face. "Care to surrender?" She winked at the men on board who were shivering and quivering out of fear! "What's wrong boys, never seen a burly beauty before?" The woman questioned, slapping her fan shut and running her hands across her feminine yet curvy figure.

Up on deck, the men were shuffling around. Adjusting sails, tightening ropes and rolling the cannons out in preparation. They weren't sure of the other captain's intentions, but whatever they were, they would be prepared to either ally or send them to Davy Jones's locker.

By the time they'd noticed the large pink ship advancing, it was too late to switch courses. So they had to make demands at the enemy ship... The man atop the watchtower had a large magic circle around his mouth and when he spoke, it amplified the volume and range of his voice. "This is a warning. Stop now or we will have no choice but to fire." loud and sturdy he spoke again, "I repeat, slow down and change course or we will fire." While all the men were on deck, standing guard and looking uneasy about the entire transaction, one went to alert the Princess. "M'lady," he held his two fingers to his forehead in atten hut. "The ship is advancing at a rapid pace and we believe it has the intent to loot or sink us. What are your orders?" Lyudmila wasn't too surprised at the outcome, but she positioned herself with her arms behind her back and pondered the best tactic. She quickly made up her mind because she knew she didn't have the time to waste. "Very well, show them no mercy. We will show them that Veredin is not to be reckoned with." her tone was calm and prideful. Lyudmila held her country with pride and she wouldn't let a measly pirate ship like this spit on her country. "This Galleon is built to handle a skirmish and sail away without a scratch." At glance, she saw a pink background to her window and knew it was the enemy's ship...

Bertha could hear the cries for help already. It was a common thing her enemies did, threaten her with their fire power, their cannons, their magic, but she was the Pirate Queen! And while these royals might have had the advantage in whatever country they were from, they were on her territory now. The ships creaked closer, fighting the waves before eventually... BAM! They had collided, both receiving minimal damage, but the smaller ship receiving a heavy shake that sent many of the men manning their stations over board.

"Aw, did I do that?" Bertha blushed, the men on the enemy deck appearing.. baffled? Confused? There wasn't a word. Unlike their ship, hers was magically enhanced, sipping away at the entire crews energy reserves in order to feed it's offense and defense and she was all charged up. Now that they were close, Bertha recognized the symbol. Veridin. Bringing a finger to her triple chins, the woman thought of where she had heard of it before and in an instant her eyes formed flames of hatred, she had heard rumors of a beautiful princess with the elegance of a flower. Jealousy coursed through Bertha's veins... the woman, determined to be the fairest in all the sea had a feeling this princess was in her midst and she would do everything in her power to put a stop to it!

Leaping onto the enemy vessel, she transformed half way, her fat seemingly disappearing, leaving a thin and stunning woman in an elegant and expensive dress! The men aboard who fancied woman had literal hearts in their eyes, their mouths watering as they walked towards the woman as if she was singing some sort of sirens song, but little did they know they had been lured to a jagged rock. "C'mon men, whatrya waitin' for, DO SOMETHIN." She yelled at her crew, her accent didn't quite match her body, with a rough southern tone and a fierce growl behind it that could be heard from miles away, and that wasn't with the help of magic.

Objects clattered together, glass bottles fell to the floor and shattered. Lyudmila could feel the ship's bones rattling and creaking as something smashed against the exterior. She snapped into action, pointing her finger at her guard, sending him up to scout for her before she followed him soon after with an urgency in her movements. Heels making a horrid sound against the grainy wood, she was determined to protect her crew, but more importantly, her image.

"Ready yourselves men," Lyudmila barely exited the steep stairway before barking orders at her crew. "Man your pos-" She cut herself off when she saw her entire crew swooning over a woman on the deck. Before asking any questions, she saw the pink ship beside her own and realized where the woman came from. Lyudmila positioned herself with poise and severity in her features. She was beautiful and she knew it, but it wasn't what defined her as a woman and her status as a princess. If anything, her beauty showed itself through her intellect and combat tactics and if her men weren't going to fight, she would.

"My men warned you, but I am here to follow through." She lacked confidence, but it wasn't noticeable. It was true that Lyudmila was a proficient magic user, but against a whole crew who most likely possessed some semblance of magic? She stood no chance and she knew it. But that wasn't going to stop her. Extending her arm outward and pointing her fingers upward, a black glyph formed underneath the woman. It was meant to shoot her into the air and remove her and her disgusting aura off of the ship. "Your presence is not wanted on my ship, now you can leave peacefully or stay and take the flogging I've got in store for you." Lyudmila wasn't playing games and her voice told exactly that. Harsh and unwavering.

Bertha let out a hefty chuckle as a glyph formed under her, causing the thin woman to float as if she weighed less than a feather! "Well, hehe. It's good to know all you mages are the same. Princess or not, magic don't mater to me and you don't impress me much." Bertha flashed a crooked smile, taking a giant club from her back and smashing it down onto the gylph, causing it to shatter. "Ya see, I've got this anti magic club right here so it doesn't matter what spell you cast sweet pea, you might got the title but on the sea, I got the crown." Bertha winked. Many of the previously charmed men became bewitched again! Turning on their own princess... how sad!

"See, they know where their loyalties lie! With the REAL queen! The Pirate Queen!" Bertha cackled as she watched, what would the princess do next?