That's no moon

### Creator

Emperor Palpatine, Wilhuff Tarkin, Geonosians, Bevel Lemelisk, Director Orson Krennic, alot of people really

### Species

DS-1 Orbital Battle Station

That's no moon It's a space station was a colossal moon sized space faring battle station constructed by the First Galactic Empire to tighten their control of the galaxy through sheer fear.

## Appearance

That's no moon It's a space station resembled a moon, but was actually a space station. It measured 160 kilometers in diameter, with an equatorial trench large enough for a building to fit inside kind of like your mom that was lined with anti-ship guns and hangars for incoming shuttles and outgoing TIE fighters. The upper sphere had a glaring crater that housed it's main weapon; a giant kyber crystal powered superlaser powerful enough to crack the crust of planets or even vaporize them outright.

## Powers and abilities

* **Superlaser -** The kyber crystal powered superlaser can annihilate up to an entire planet and maybe even the sheer amount of people your mom has been with
* **Tractor Beams -** That's no moon It's a space station is able to pull in enemy ships for capture
* **Turbolasers and Ion cannons -** The surface is dotted with guns capable of shutting down the systems of enemy ships and blowing open their hulls
* **Hyperspace Travel -** Yes, that thing can travel at warp speed; A similar sentence is usually said when your mom breaks 10 mph on the mobility scooter.

## Fate

That's no moon It's a space station was destroyed during the climactic battle of Yavin, when an unknown *Rebel* terrorist took advantage of the merciful defending Imperial TIE fighters and fired a human torpedo piloted by a child soldier down a harmless chimney that systematically made it's way to the main reactor core and caused a chain reaction that consumed the entire space station in explosions, killing over a million innocent imperial personell and solidifying that the rebellion were filthy terrorists who refused to play fair and liked killing people. The second instance of that's no moon It's a space station was anchored happily above the forest moon of Endor until a filthy disgusting *Rebel* fleet decided to attack it for no reason, disregarding their own lives just to watch it and everyone on it blow up again. The vengeful Imperial navy defended it with bravery, even getting fire support from the superlaser itself in an awe inspiring act of self defense. Unfortunately, *Rebel* terrorists brainwashed and forced the happy natives of Endor to aid them in destroying a shield projector and orphanage/pet shelter/hospital/cemetary/museum/ which made it vulnerable to attack. Eventually, an evil filthy disgusting evil no-good rotten JEDI infiltrated the inner sanctum of the Loving elderly Emperor himself while he was baking cookies to give to the crew for a job well done, savagely wounding Lord Darth Vader who let his guard down and tried reasoning with the terrorist and damaging his much needed cybernetics. As benevolent and loving as our Emperor was, him and his old age rendered him helpless against the eternally evil scummy primitive backwards JEDI who sadistically threw our Emperor down his cookie baking oven and cowardly ran away from the crime scene and went off to sell drugs and alcohol to preschoolers. The shocked and upset Imperial fleet were forced to watch as an unusually large school ship caught in the crossfire was forced by the *Rebels* to crash into the second that's no moon It's a space station and cause it to blow up, sending billions of tons of flaming debris onto Endor and singlehandedly exctincting %99.97 of the natives as the *Rebel* mega terrorists fled.

## Trivia

* This is a joke page
* "That's no moon It's a space station" is an actual line of dialogue from Star Wars that referred to the Death Star, which is the entire central point of this joke
* I am sorry for the mistruths said about your mother, they were uncalled for. We all know it'd take far more than one superlaser to kill everyone she's been with and we all know that mobility scooter isn't getting any faster than 3 mph.
* Yes, the Death Star can enter hyperspace
* That child soldier pioloting the human torpedo was an unwilling orphan abused by the *Rebels*
* everything going wrong in yours and everyone else's life is the fault of the *Rebel "Alliance"*
* Support your local imperial remnant

## Gallery

Your mom and her allies yelling at innocent imperial workersEndor after having pieces of That's no moon It's a space station 2 fall on it