2017 Power Rankings-Week 6

<---Week 5...Week 7 --->

## Introduction

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN?

I've written this introduction no less than five times in the last couple of days. This has been one of the most active weeks in LOC history. Trades are flying left and right. Negotiations all over the place involving first and second round picks. Policy changes. Not to mention the 10th place team took down the 1st place team.

I don't know what to say. What to do. How do I make the Power Rankings as exciting as this week has been?

Well, hell, you just have to take my word for it. I tried!

For the first time in LOC history, four teams have one win or less through five weeks. The closest we’ve come to this is in 2013, when the bottom four were 2-3 (7th), 1-4 (8th-9th), and 0-5 (10th). 1-3 Duck Punchers was the only team of those four to make the playoffs.

This is the first time we have a gap between the 6th place team and the 7th place team through five weeks. And it could get worse. This week the 1st-5th place teams play the 6th-10th place teams.

Survivor might be over, but the fight for survival has just begun.

Wait, shit, Survivor is over???

## Survivor Finale

Well that was fast. Despite having two strikes this year, only one team made it through five weeks. And that person now has control over their opening three weeks in 2018. Congratulations to PAIN TRAIN WOO WOO.

## Chasing History

With their shocking loss to JarJar, GBM is at risk of falling just short of a major LOC record. GBM is currently on a streak of 35 consecutive games without back-to-back losses.

Here are the longest streaks for each active team:

GBM will have to beat Pain Train to keep the streak alive and have a chance at taking down momma's record, which has stood for almost three years.

## Stat Notes

### LOC

* JJS finally passes IAMGROOT for 10th on the all-time regular season win list.
* MMMS becomes the 4th team to hit 40 regular season losses.
* PP becomes the 1st team to reach 50 regular season losses.
* P9 moves up to 6th on the all-time single-season roster moves list.
* JJS stops at 2nd on the all-time losing streaks to start a season list. The record is still 7.
* TSB becomes the 1st team to score over 200 points in 60 regular season games.
* P9 becomes the 8th team to score over 200 points in 40 combined games.

### NFL

* The Arizona Cardinals are passing on 71% of their offensive plays this season, which leads the league. Maybe that will change with Adrian Peterson (P9).
* Funchess (PT) is out-targeting Benjamin (RIP) 17-10 in the Panthers last two games. Over that stretch, Newton (TSB) has been 3rd in accuracy % in a clean pocket vs. LAST in accuracy % in weeks 1-3. Interesting considering recent moves by RIPDab.
* Duke Johnson (DP) has finished as a top-12 fantasy back three times this season. That's the same number of times as Zeke Elliot (MMMS).
* Deshaun Watson (PT) leads the league in % of pass attempts that go for touchdowns (7.1%).
* Sammy Watkins (MMMS) trails Todd Gurley, Cooper Kupp, Robert Woods, and Tyler Higbee in targets.
* Chris Hogan (PT) has now finished as a top-14 WR in each of his last four games.

## League of Champions Twitter

The LOC is on Twitter. Follow @TheOfficialLOC for breaking news, rumors, and updates from around the league.

## Curse Update

Who do the Fantasy Gods hate more? Paddock 9 won their matchup but lost their first round pick a week after winning their matchup while losing their second round pick.

Meanwhile, Sweet Dee is now 0-4 since the Dreamboard.

Because of the latter, I think it is safe to say the Dreamboard Curse is real and it is vicious. My guess is that the Fantasy Gods really didn’t like the Dreamboard because it called on forces other than their own.

Add the Dreamboard Curse to the growing list.

## Rookie Rundown

Holy 90-yard touchdown run, Leonardo! Hunt and Fournette are proving great grabs by TDP and GBM. The only difference? TDP can keep Hunt at the low price of a 5th round pick.

## Matchup Recap

This matchup had some weird scoring patterns. One player on each team scored zero points. Both defenses scored exactly 22. Hunt and Elliot knocked each other out with 27.43 and 27.65, respectively.

But Kareem Hunt and AJ Green are proving a murderous tandem. While Hunt maintained the lead, Green solidified the blowout.

And to think, if everything had gone as projected, this would be Kareem Hunt and Odell Beckham Jr. and this sentence might not be happening right now.

But enough about the best WR/RB combo in the league (Sorry Will Fuller/Ameer Abdullah): All hail the Duke! We all expected big days from AJ and Kareem, but it was Duke Johnson who proved the unsung hero of the week with 26.60 points.

As for Momma, they still cannot get all three backs going on the same week (mostly because Ajayi can’t get going on any week). Bell played well (not great), and Mixon still hasn’t broken out like the rest of the guys in his rookie class.

The Duck Punchers has scored over 200 points in eleven of twelve matchups with ma ma momma said and now leads the series 10-2. All in all, a disappointing pair of games between these two in 2017. But the playoffs are only a couple of months away…

## The Bust Zone

Bust Watch: Total Points for First Round Picks
 Le'Veon Bell
 Antonio Brown
 AJ Green
 DeVonte Freeman
 Odell Beckham Jr.
 Jordy Nelson
 DeMarco Murray
 Julio Jones
 David Johnson

Can Duck Punchers see into the future? Or did they just not trust OBJ after that pre-season ankle injury?

Whatever the case (I’m leaning towards seeing the future), Green is clearly the smarter pick now, as OBJ joins David Johnson as the second bust-by-injury of the year.

Meanwhile, we all remember how DeMarco Murray could have been kept by P9 for a 2nd round pick, and he opted instead to take Cook. Well Cook is on IR and Murray STILL hasn't caught up to him in points. But as soon as he does, you better believe Pat is going to hear about it.

## Rule Change

Effective immediately, the Trade Veto period has been changed from two days to one day. This passed with a majority vote with 8 of 10 managers accounted for, plus Commissioner approval.

While some argued that a mid-season rule change gives some an unfair advantage, I feel that since this has nothing to do with scoring and does not necessarily retroactively hurt teams, this is an acceptable change.

We are living in a different time. Games happen on Thursday, Sunday, Monday, sometimes Saturday. A trade that took place on Tuesday wasn't going to be processed until Friday, which is excessive.

It seems that Yahoo did not Grandfather in the trade between Pain Train and RIPDab. The Fantasy Gods got their say with that one.

## Trade-a-Palooza

There had not been a trade involving players since October 28th, 2016. And finally the floodgates opened and we had three trades between weeks 5 and 6.

 12th Round Pick

With Brees now clear of the bye, Sweet Dee opts to cash in on her backup QB by trading him for a possible flex position, a trouble area for SD early in the year. GBM, meanwhile, prepares for Brady's bye week and any possible missed time due to his non-throwing shoulder.

 15th Round Pick

GBM offloads certified keeper-bust Isaiah Crowell for an upgraded draft pick and old friend Nelson Agholor. P9, meanwhile, will hope that Crowell can bust out of his early season slump, same as he did last year, and help bandage the damage caused by the loss of Cook and Beckham.

 13th Round Pick

With a wealth of WR talent, PT offloads some excess weight (if you can call a top-15 receiver excess weight) to RIPDab in exchange for some RB help. PT still has Funchess on the roster, as well as Antonio Brown, Tyreek Hill and emerging star Davonte Adams. With Benjamin dealing with a knee issue, it will be interesting to see who makes out better with this trade.

## Power Rankings

### 1(3). The Duck Punchers

This is the best Duck Punchers has looked in years and cannot be allowed to fly under the radar any longer. Title contender. Of course, no team has been ranked number one in back to back weeks this season...Power Rankings Curse?

### 2(2). The Shotti Bunch

Considering this is around the time of year where TSB hits their stride and goes on one of their patented mid-season mega win streaks, I’m not surprised that they beat Pain Train into submission using RIP’s castaway QB and a Ravens defense that recently gave up 44 points to the Jacksonville Jaguars.

### 3(1). Garoppoblow Me

GBM now accounts for the only win for both Sweet Dee and JarJar. I want to blame this on the Matt Jinx and I want to blame this on the Fantasy Gods but at the end of the day the loss was a perfect storm of talented players on the bye, Sterling Shepard’s early game injury, some subpar performances (fuck you Houston defense, fuck you), and the debut of Doug Martin for JarJar. I’m bitter, I’m hurt, I’m confused. We take this and we move on. You want to hear the best part? The next time these two teams meet GBM has Jordy Nelson and Leonard Fournette on the bye. HAHAHAHAHA. HA.

### 4(4). RIPDab

RIP proved a master strategist this weekend by dropping their kicker and adding position player Moncrief instead, netting himself 1.5 extra points in the process. Meanwhile, the demise of Cam Newton...maybe a little exaggerated? Sure could use him now that Eli Manning has lost literally every single starting player on the offensive roster except himself. Weekly QB/D streaming here we come! Who is up first? Oh boy, please tell me that's not...Oh God, it's Carson Palmer.

### 5(5). Pain Train WOO WOO

Pain Train is undefeated against teams under .500 and winless against teams with multiple wins. But that is partly unfair, as PT had his best game of the season in week five. And PT’s bench has scored over 100 points three times this year. Pivotal game coming up this week against the Commish.

### 6(6). Paddock 9

Oh, how the mediocre have fallen. Paddock 9 has traded wins for players these last couple of weeks. First it was Cook, and now ODB. Meanwhile, they continue to rotate their bench multiple times a week in what P9 management is calling Fluid Bench Style. This turnstile roster building (which, it’s worth noting, is not the same as streaming) has them at a very vulnerable 4-1. Their four-game win streak ties their longest from last season and their second longest all time. But how much longer can they last running on fumes? The team is basically being completely overhauled mid-season.

### 7(9). Ma ma momma said

Four teams are 1-4, but we have to ask ourselves: of this bunch, who has the best chance at turning it all around? Three of the four losses for ma ma momma said came against opponents having their highest-scoring week of the season, and they are over 210 in weeks 4-5. They also have the second most projected points remaining with 2371.64. As of now, they are the bad team to beat, and if they can stop catching bad beats, they may become unbeatable. If you know what I mean.

### 8(8). Papa's Posse

Another matchup comes down to Monday night, another matchup goes the wrong way. With no David Johnson, there isn't that week-to-week "wow" player on the roster. However, with rumors circulating that David Johnson could return as soon as after the bye (week 9 or 10), can the posse possibly sustain their season long enough to get some much needed help?

### 9(7). Sweet Dee

Sweet Dee lost to a team that had their TE score 0, their top RB score 6.28, and their top WR score 1.40. Oh boy.

### 10(10). JarJar Stinks!

I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that Doug Martin took this team from one of the worst of all-time to maybe only the fourth or fifth worst of all-time. Martin clearly elevated a depleted roster, but the 170-180 range seems to still be the ceiling for this spiraling franchise. And that's coming from someone who is not bitter at all.

## The Matchups - Class Wars

There is currently a one-game gap between 1-6 and 7-10, which means no matter what the results are this weekend everyone who is currently in a playoff spot will remain that way.

If 1-5 beats 6-10, there would be a massive gap between the playoff and non-playoff teams the likes of which the league has never known. This is truly one of the most pivotal weeks the LOC has ever played and certainly the most important week six slate of games in league history. Four 1-5 teams would basically end the playoff race before Halloween.

### The Undercards

#### Paddock 9 (202.64) vs. JarJar Stinks! (160.42)

What to Watch: This is a week three rematch, which Paddock 9 won by 87.53 points. HOWEVAAAH, that was back when Paddock 9 had Cook and Beckham, and JarJar didn't have Doug Martin. This should be a closer game, but P9 is still projected to win by over 40.

#### The Duck Punchers (199.81) vs. Papa's Posse (192.60)

What to Watch: This is a Glory Bowl I rematch. This is a close series, with Duck Punchers narrowly leading the way 6-5. This is the only matchup of the week where both teams are projected to finish with less than 200 points. This is a fight between the team with the second highest point total (DP) and the team with the second lowest point total (PP) in 2017. Derek Carr is a huge question mark for DP and with Prescott on the bye they have nowhere else to turn. Papa will once again start Jamaal Charles as their RB2. This is the first of two matchups between these two teams.

#### RIPDab (200.77) vs. Sweet Dee (196.40)

What to Watch: RIP is 6-0 in the regular season against Sweet Dee and has only one meaningless post-season loss against Dee in their history. RIP and Dee, combined, have only met their weekly projections one out of ten times this season. Both have injury issues, with Sweet Dee having problems with Julio Jones, Willie Snead, and Carlos Hyde. Maybe Jamison Crowder can come to the rescue. This is the first of two matchups between these teams.

#### The Shotti Bunch (214.43) vs. ma ma momma said (210.73)

What to Watch: This is a Glory Bowl V rematch, the closest Glory Bowl in LOC history (margin of victory: 5.44). MMMS owns the series edge 6-4 but is on a four-game losing streak against TSB. This is the first of two matchups between these two teams. Big Ben has one booted foot out the door, so MMMS will have to roll with Winston, who faces Shotti's recently **dropped** Arizona Defense. This is LeSean McCoy's bye week. MMMS has a great defensive matchup (Denver vs. the NYG).

### The Main Event

#### Garoppoblow Me (235.45) vs. Pain Train WOO WOO (217.02)

* 2017 Records
	+ Garoppoblow Me: 3-2 (4th)
	+ Pain Train WOO WOO: 3-2 (6th)
* Head-to-Head Wins
	+ Pain Train WOO WOO: 6
	+ Garoppoblow Me: 3
* Key Players on Bye (GBM)
	+ 0
* Key Players on Bye (PT)
	+ 0
* Key Injuries (GBM)
	+ Tom Brady (Questionable)
	+ Jordy Nelson (Probable)
* Key Injuries (PT)
	+ D'Onta Foreman (Questionable)
* Players to Watch (GBM)
	+ Tom Brady: Sprained AC Joint and was a DNP Tuesday and Wednesday, but TB12 swears he is suiting up on Sunday. Not the worst injury he has played with, but concerning. Production may be limited.
	+ Javorious Allen: After catching lightning in a bottle with T.West earlier this season, GBM will hope to strike gold again with another Ravens RB. Allen was added and dropped twice by Pain Train.
	+ Jacksonville Defense: Just like Allen, Jax was discarded by Pain Train last week and picked up by GBM. Now GBM will hope one man's trash is another man's treasure by beating Pain Train with his own team.
* Players to Watch (PT)
	+ Deshaun Watson: In a shocking twist, Pain Train is opting to start rookie sensation Deshaun Watson over perennial pro-bowler Aaron Rodgers. Watson has been lighting it up and has a date with the lowly Cleveland Browns.
	+ Devin Funchess: Up against the defense surrendering the 2nd most points to WR, Funchess will hope to prove a worthy torchbearer now that Kelvin Benjamin has been shipped off to RIPDab.
	+ Austin Seferian-Jenkins: This guy has been a thorn in fantasy owners' sides for years now, but he could be putting it together in an offense that doesn't have a lot else going for it. Is this the TE PT has been waiting for?

After breaking 225 in each of their first four games, GBM has only scored over 205 points once in their last five meetings.

Last season, Pain Train accounted for 66% of GBM's losses.

Now they find themselves in a border war, with the loser falling into the chasm which separates the 6th and 7th place teams. While Pain Train is healthier than GBM, all of Garoppoblow Me's weapons are expected to play. The team is 3-0 when Brady scores 27 or more and 0-2 when Brady scores 26 or less.

With starts of 3-0 and 3-1, one of these teams will now be 0.500 at the end of the week. Will it be braggadocios Pain Train, since grown silent, or the Commish himself?