Timeline

In the beginning, there was The Cosmic Chicken, Phred.

Phred laid the Cosmic Egg from which the Universe was hatched. Those who believe in God as well as The Cosmic Chicken believe that the Cosmic Egg birthed God, who then created the Universe. The Cosmic Egg also birthed the man then named only "John," who would become Dadald. The Cosmic Chicken helped Dadald created the spark of life that brought his son Tonald into existence, and he congealed in a cave.

It was presumably Phred who created Spiders, but since light did not exist yet, they ended up looking spooky. Spiders literally shit time, and their creation is what caused Time to exist in the first place, literally spinning the web of time as they produce spider silk.

Not birthed from the Cosmic Egg was the being simply named "The," as words had not been invented yet. Its existence is beyond the Egg and Its origins are unknown. The would go on to be known as Goliath, and acts as the embodiment of Pure Evil.

In the early days of the Universe, Phred created Bigideas, dubbed Scholar of the First Chicken. Bigideas was tasked with chronicling the adventures of The Cosmic Chicken Herself, and some of his writings survive until today.

4.6 billion years ago, the Earth was formed. An unspecified amount of time after this, Goliath made Its home in the Philippines, for unknown reasons. Dadald also brought his son Tonald to Earth to raise him. When thinking organisms came into being on Earth, each one contained a small Jeb in their head, running on a hamster wheel to drive their thoughts. Around 2.3 million years ago, the first Zebras evolved, acting as vessels of moral purity.

Sometime in the second century or earlier, Bigideas met the philosopher Freudian. Despite Freudian being much younger than him, Bigideas felt he had something of value to teach him, and became his pupil. In 121 AD, Freudian and Bigideas famously engaged in a debate on The Trap Question, with Freudian arguing that traps are gay and Bigideas arguing that they are not.

In 1901, Freudian put forth the concept of the Freudian Slip. This was mistakenly attributed to the neurologist Sigmund Freud.

In 1953, Jeb Bush was born. Jeb was the physical embodiment of the small Jeb inside of every thinking being's head.

In 1981, there was a sighting of a man who may or may not be Alfred. His identity remains unconfirmed to this day.

Tonald grew up in the 80s and 90s. Dadald witnessed the video game crash of 1983 and was able to see the fall of it.

In 1995, a man named The Don was brutally assaulted by Captain Marvel, crippling his hand. This was the last in a long series of hardships The Don experienced, almost breaking his resolve, but a period of self-reflection after the fact reminded him of his devotion to doing Good and motivated him to become a cosmic defender.

In 2015, Jeb Bush launched his campaign for President of the United States. Near the end of his campaign in 2016, Jeb ended a speech by asking the audience to "please clap." The fact that they didn't spelled disaster for society after the fact.

In 2018, MauLer, Rags, and Wolf came together to created what would become the EFAP Podcast. The podcast would go on to make several major discoveries about the Universe at large, as well as cross paths with several major players in its affairs.

Sometime before 2019, the entire Universe was transported to The Poop Dimension, the dimension where the wizards from *Harry Potter* would send their poop after soiling themselves. This became known to us after the release of *The Rise of Skywalker* in 2019, which could only be explained by existing within The Poop Dimension. Whether the release of consistently bad, legacy-destroying films in previously-beloved franchises is what sent us to The Poop Dimension or is simply a result of our being sent there is still unknown.

In the year 2038, Joel Miller will be murdered by Abby Anderson. Joel will then be reconstructed as a cyborg named J03L, motivated by nothing other than a desire to kill. He will become Death, the Destroyer of Zebras, and his lust for death will be so much that he will, through unknown means, travel back in time to become responsible for every death in history.

It is theorized that at an unspecified point in the future, a collection of video essayists will come together to form PAFE, an alliance dedicated to the downfall of EFAP.

It is theorized that at an unspecified point in the future, MovieBob will run out of movies to review, and will push his plans for species-wide genocide to full steam ahead.

The meme "EFAP the movie: Prologue," as seen in EFAP 50, describes the events of EFAP as taking place during the "10th Age of Reclamation."