recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Brando

video File:Placeholder
Supposed film industry jargon for a method acting technique in which, while performing a death scene, the actor shits their pants in order to enhance the realism of the moment. First used in the Friendly Fire episode on Apocalypse Now, where Marlon Brando is purported to have Brando’d.
Drunk Shimoda: The Next Generation

Worf was the overall winner of Drunk Shimoda awards over the course of the TNG series. Riker and Picard came in second and third, respectively. Each of the top 3 characters led the rankings at one time in the course of the podcast.

* 31.5 - Worf
* 28.5 - Riker
* 28.5 - Picard
* 21 - Data
* 10.5 - Dr. Crusher
* 10.5 - Geordi LaForge
* 8.5 - Troi
* 6.5 - Chief O'Brien
* 4 - Jonathan Frakes
* 3.5 - Wesley
* 3.5 - Dr. Pulaski
* 3 - Brent Spiner
* 2.5 - Ben
* 2.5 - Tasha Yar
* 2 - Jim Shimoda
* 2 - Patrick Stewart
* 1 - Marina Sirtis
* 0.5 - Adam

## TNG Episodes

1Inaugural Shimoda (pronounced "Shinoda" on this occasion)
DS9 307

Poster by J.J. LendL

*When O'Brien tries to defrag the station's hard drive it goes into full HAL 9000 mode. But instead of singing "Daisy" the voice is Dukat's saying he's going to activate the Jigsaw Protocols unless he gets his office back!*

*Dukat offers to do some Cardassian IT but he inputs his password wrong and can't remember the name of the street he grew up on. Meanwhile, the Siskos and O'Brien are Poseidon Adventuring their way to the station's reactor!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Garak**

Unnecessarily accusing Dukat of having a crush on Kira
Ben's pick is **Dr. Bashir**

For not thinking about grabbing a phaser until the death rays started back up
## Trading Cards

You're Wearing That Combadge Like A KidAre You Giving Enough Income To Go Clear?Into The Shawshank Redemption PipeLike A Cast Iron Skillet Full Of Cornbread BurnI'm Gonna Gas Everyone! Like, Share & Subscribe!Eric, If You Stayed There I Might Even Be HappierBack Turned ConfidenceLooks Tron-y
DS9 405

Poster by J.J. LendL

Bit Origin: (Butt)Hole Closer

*Kira's road trip to look for Con Air survivors on Planet Flagstaff goes south when Gul Aunt Edna plops into the Truckster. We learn why Sisko plays darts. It's because his poker face sucks!*

*Kira & Dukat build a "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" relationship breaking into hot Rura Penthe. Sisko aborts the destruct sequence on his relationship but still lands in the Celestial Doghouse.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Daily Double! **Dukat**

For his incredibly tight and revealing pants
## Trading Cards

Never Bring A Drum On An Away MissionIn Biting His Tongue He Fucks This UpIf Han Solo Were Played By Wayne KnightWas That Guts?!They've Had Some Weird BondingDoes It Close Any Hole?Bajoran On The Nose. No Blue On The SpoonCherry On Top Of The Ball Kicking Machine Cake
Lawyer Picard

## Pod Apperances

Special:WhatLinksHere/Lawyer Picard

Many many many *many* episodes of TNG climax with Captain Jean Luc Picard, Frenchman with a British accent, arguing morality and ethics with aliens/humans/godlike beings.

As a notorious Shakespearean act-tor, Sir Stewart is at his best monolouging with passion. The writers room knows this, and it's a great way to write themselves out of a corner *and* speak directly to camera.

These scenes are reminiscent of the great courtroom dramas of a bygone era. Although, I'd like to see the Night Court episode where Lawyer Picard argues a case for Bob Wheeler.
Clip Show Device

The Clip Show Device in action.

## Pod Apperances

Special:WhatLinksHere/Clip Show Device

Naming Episode: Ep 91: Pretty Chill for Assimilating Aliens.

The device previously used in Riker's Clip Show "Shades of Gray" makes an appearance in order to purge yet another Starfleet officer of an invading organism.

"Clip Show Device" is referenced by Ben and Adam as any sort of similar medical or torture apparatus that affects a character's mind/head in some way.
Edward Larkin

"*He was an idiot.*"

Edward Larkin is the Drunk Shimoda of DISCO.

Edward Larkin is a reference to Short Treks S2 E2, "The Trouble With Edward" where mad scientist Edward Larkin is so overcome with hubris that he genetically modifies the genes of Tribbles so that they are "near as I can tell, born pregnant". Like a drunk baby, he is so oblivious to the consequences of his actions that he gleefully ignores orders and social cues to pursue his cockamamie scheme while the ship fills with tribbles until it literally kills him.

This sublime state of delirious self-expression was so touching to Adam and Ben that they replaced the designation of "Drunk Shimoda" with "Edward Larkin" honoring each episode's character who most embodied his spirit. ~~It remains to be seen whether the title Edward Larkin will be explicitly for DISCO or for all nü Star Trek.~~ Apparently this is going to be the thing for all nü Star Trek since Ben and Adam did Edward Larkin, Not Drunk Shimoda for the Picard comic episode that came after this short trek, and have continued to use it throughout the Picard and Lower Decks pods.
MOVIE 008

*The Borgs are back & we're gonna be in trouble! Hey, la-di-la! But we've got a new Entrepreneur & hot, wool uniforms that have Pipes & company itching for a rematch!*

*Starfleet drops the "Rocky 2" ending on the Borgs and blows the "I (Heart) Wolf 359" sticker right off their cube! So they assimilate the DeLorean and go back to erase the Federation's Warp Daddy from the Polariod.*

*The Borg Queen wants to give Data some skin for her to crawl under before she crawls on top of it! The Borgs try to turn "This New Enterprise" into their old cube but can't finish because Pipes keeps breaking shit!*

*While the rest of the crew puts history's most important drunk driver into space, Pipes and Data have to pull off a double breakup with more screaming and fighting than an episode of "Maury!"*

## Tour Dates

**2017 Dates**

* Aug 14 - Minneapolis, MN
* Aug 15 - Milwaukee, WI
* Aug 17 - Lincoln Hall in Chicago, IL
* Aug 18 - Beachland Ballroom in Cleveland, OH
* Aug 19 - Great Hall in Toronto, ON
* Aug 21 - ONCE Somerville in Boston, MA
* Aug 23 - The Bell House in Brooklyn, NY
* Aug 24 - World Cafe in Philadelphia, PA
* Aug 25 - Black Cat in Washington, DC
DS9 210

Bajoran Minister Rozahn

*Some lady with a 2-D Kid and Play hairdo wants Kira to roll out all of Bajor's murphy beds. Why in the name of the Prophets does no one play electric guitar in the future!!!*

*Bajor turns out the porch light and hides behind the couch until the Skrreeans get off the porch. Jake and Nog go to the Cobra Kai school of diplomacy!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Quark**

For growling, getting Nog out of jail, and generally acting really big
Ben's pick is **Nog**

Doing pranks, doing bits, running around and being nuts
## Trading Cards

He's NoticedVarani And His Electro HornThey've Got Popcorn Ceiling FaceNot Everyone Is Space JewishCentral Casting For PeasantsHe Gives Her A Mix TapeTeen Wolf Growl!DOGFIGHT!
DS9 421

Poster by J.J. LendL

*OK. Let's get the Hell to the chase. Meg Foster is in this episode. That makes "Blind Fury" and "They Live" canonical Trek. That makes Rutger Hauer, Roddy Piper and Keith David canonical Trek. Get to writing those prequel stories, Jake!*

*OK. Odo's down to retro-bastardize Lwaxana's bump by stealing her from Killer Kane via a "Days of our Lives" level marriage mulligan. Onaya's not giving Jake sufficient refractory time between brainjobs and he's way past his 4-hour limit!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Worf**

For sitting completely still for a long time before saying two words and leaving
Ben's pick is **Jeyal**

For mispronouncing his own wife's name
## Trading Cards

I Was A Viscous Substance But This Is RidiculousThis Does Not Seem Like A Fun HangLove The Intention But This Is HorrifyingFull '80s Sex CurtainsI'm Bothered No One Wore Their Dress UniformsReally Getting Off On Smearing Her DecolletageNot Interested In Studying New LifeHat Tip To Lwaxana Troi
DS9 508

Odo on Terok Nor

*Proving no good conference trip goes unpunished, Sisko, Dax, Odo & Garek get dream weavered to past Empok Nor as Bajororists being hunted by Cardassian Boddicker while their real bodies are in Sicksbay under the Elm Street Protocols.*

*Sweet dreams are not made of what Odo sees! Tomato soup hands, Looney Toons explosions & Vidal Sasson endorsed beatdowns are pouring out of him like a guilt-flavored Freshen Up. Turns out Odo was more Will Teasle than Elliot Ness BITD.*

## Show Bits

* Conferences are Dangerous
* Clip Show Device

## P1 Messages

Self-Aware late message

"Fuck"

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Bashir**

For doing bits and not giving a fuck
Ben's pick is **Odo**

For having zero chill despite knowing how to get out of trouble
## Trading Cards

Wakes Up In Bad Lighting To A Lot Of Bedraggled BajoransNew Clip Show Devices. This Is A Bad SignThere Is A Matrix Mechanic In PlayHe's Made For That LoafOdo Gets "Carrie" HandsIt's Jailbreak Law To Poke You Head Through The HoleCardassian Hair Gets Mussed In FightsThey've Spent A Fucked Up Time In His Imagination
## Transcript

Official Maxfun Transcript
DS9 206

Terok Nor ring doors, non-ADA compliant

*The new girl is on a roll with handing out attitude. Bashir seems to think that "crew physical" means much more than it does. Quark's running for his life from a guy who looks like a curling stone.*

*The curling stone kills a California Raisin, kidnaps Quark, Dax and Melora and jakes a runabout! Is the Starfleet Security Training Manual just a leaflet that says "Hope For The Best?"*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Kira**

For only uttering five words in the episode
Ben's pick is **Bashir**

For his reaction to Melora talking about turning the gravity down, in an erotic way
## Trading Cards

A Wet Blanket On The MoodsThreatened By A Dick NoseShe Shows Him Her Bounty CastleWhat If I Told You I Could Make You Stronger Down There?Lands Right In The Numbers For QuarkHuh. Damn...The Raiden Spear Across Screen!"Guant Anemera" In The Original Klingon
DS9 706

*The new Weyoun convinces Odo to get him over the wall and the new, new Weyoun is willing to kick Odo's bucket to stop it. The Chief regrets agreeing to let Nog "Cpl Klinger" a part for the Little D.*

*After getting caught trying the asteroid trick from "ESB" Weyoun VI goes old school KGB to keep Weyoun VII from bringing Odo to a boil but not before cluing him in that the Founders have terminal dry skin.*

## Show Bits

* Mr. Bucket
* This Old Starship
* Star Trek Caves
* Bangers
* Drinking Vitamins

## P1 Messages

Promo: Counterfeit Scarves at Home

Promo: Uxbridge-Shimoda

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Weyoun 6**

For having no fear
Ben's pick is **O'Brien**

For pulling parts out of ships
## Trading Cards

This Is The Odo Massage We've Been Waiting ForYou Spend 40 Years In A Mind Prison And See If Your Cables Stay Organized!What We've Got Here Is A Defective DefectorThe Only Post Scarcity Here Is "Desk"Knowing How To Do This Is Valuable Intelligence Which They Never Use Again!She's A Raisin In The SunI'm Pretty Sure We Can Replicate A Standard Cardassian Desk, ChiefThanks To The Cyanide Ear We Lost A Lot Of Weyouns When We Went To Zoom Meetings With Headsets
DS9 208

Dukat and Odo, they're cops.

The Blue Beverage Of Subtext

*Odo has a mysterious Bajoran grocery list, a slightly over-phasered Ferengi and a sexy mystery widow on his hands, yet doesn't shapeshift a trenchcoat for this episde.*

*A phaser, a spike, some flowers and a pillow. Odo's up against a killer who learned his murder technique while watching the Home & Garden channel.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Rom**

For when he says "Oo the Ironies!" and his car-alarm scream
Ben's pick is **Rom & Bajoran Murderer**

For the same reason as Adam, and for the other guy, they way he plans out the murder
## Trading Cards

No Place To Get A BurritoThe Light Obscures The Stunt GuyCardassians! Nehru! Smoke!Fingering Ponytail KiraHe "Columbos" HerThe Blue Drink Of Surreptitious Eavesdropping"Killed By Flowers" The Anonymous Bajoran Security Guy StoryI Have Never Really Liked "Star Trek"
DS9 301

Poster by J.J. LendL

Lt. Toast

*Starfleet tells Sisko to fist bump the Founders. He enacts the John Winger protocols and decides to zip in and zip out of the Gamma Quadrant like it's Czechoslovakia. How will he do this? In a heavily-armed recreational vehicle.*

*The U.S.S. John Cena's "You Can't See Me" device must have been installed by a baby with its hands over its eyes because it sucks. Odo finds a planet with more goo on the ground than Holodeck 3.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Odo**

For being unpredictable
Ben's pick is **Odo**

For not telling anyone about what was going on inside him
## Trading Cards

Whole New Haircuts!A Pretty Stubby Bit of BusinessThere's Been Some Security Breaches... No Shit!Almost Brought To Full ReleaseThe Feels Like A Con JobHe Needs A Modesty ScreenIt's Awesome! Like Jesse Ventura's Predator GunThey Found Planet Bucket!
DS9 207

Hupyrian beetle snuff.

Slickback Trilogy

*Zek wants Quark to set up a wine factory with some 'roid-raged Oompa Loompas from the Gamma Quadrant. Kira's stylist goes full Annie Lennox. The new bartender trades Dabo for the Crying Game.*

*Ferengi Terri Griffith tries to be just one of the guys, but when she and Quark have to share a capsule hotel things quickly shift from business to pleasure!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Daily Double! **Morn**

For sleeping at a bench at the beginning of the episode to get into the bar as soon as it opens
## Trading Cards

Is Morn A Hobo?You Wanna Knock Out The Snyders Compound First!Is She The Lost Slickback?Home From WorkThe Most Muscular FaceSomething Ben Won't Do On A Business TripA Pantomime Between The Dick And The ButtholeThe Growth He Does Not Get To Experience
Game of Buttholes/Will of the Caretaker

After realizing they had made an "Oops! All Chutes!" board with their previous game, Ben and Adam abandoned their game in progress and overhauled the rules for the **Game of Buttholes** starting with the first episode of *Voyager*.

see also: Space Butthole

## Game of Buttholes

The board game and accompanying key for the action tiles can be viewed here:

Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Caretaker
DS9 705

## Amish Makeover

It'll take an industrial sized clip show device to give a one-off non-speaking character more lines

## Game of Buttholes

### Landed on

18\*
62\* → 18\*

## DS9 705

### Next Episode

Break The Internet, T’Kumbra
Lethal Minestrone

*The Unpopular X-Men commit belt buckle fraud to get their Kitty Pryde to Bashir so he can surgically remove her shyness gland. After a serious dose of blinking lights she goes from doorstop to diva, complete with musical number!*

*Sarina's living in another world! She can talk & she's a pretty girl! It's got Bashir sniffing about! He's gonna fall in love! Cause she's a beauty! But even though she's been in a trance until yesterday she's not down to play doctor.*

## Show Bits

* For Some Reason Jake
* Ensign Hospitality
* Un-adjective X-Men
* Clip Show Device
* The Scene Does Not Go Well Enterprise
* Sicks Bay
* Season 1 Bashir

## P1 Messages

Commercial message: Novel

To Ben and Adam

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Patrick**

For flipping between Lenny and Admiral
Ben's pick is **Background alien**

For distinctive loaf
## Trading Cards

The Return Of The Unauthorized X-MenO'Brien Can't Get The POS Working But The Undetered X-Men Do!For Being Checked Out For So Long Her Manicure Is On Point!So Many SNL Sketches Begin This WayBashir Reveals Himself As An Unethical X-ManYou're Gonna Fix Us Next, Right?You're Engaged In Dickful Thinking, JulianHe's Lucky This Isn't The Sopranos
DS9 209

USS Slickback

Slickback Trilogy

*Sisko pulls a "Splash" and falls in love with a Space Madison. She doesn't have a tail, but she's got a whole lot of spirit. Actually, she's all spirit!*

*Prof. Dos Equis Guy's mission to fire space viagra into a star has bored his wife into a "cheat coma." She's looking for a guy into ghosts & no one's more into that than Sisko.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Prof. Seyetik**

For going out in a blaze of glory
Ben's pick is **Mott the barber**

For having been underappreciated when the guys reviewed TNG
## Trading Cards

Unlimited Data $40 Per Month!Is This The Same Day As "Captain Picard Day?"Something Is Wrong. He's Happy.He Shows Her His Docking PylonEating Odo In The MorningA Charismatic AssholeA Real "Large Marge" Situation!All The Proof We Need Mot Is The Best Barber In The FleetHis Alternative To Talk Therapy!
Jackie and Laurie

*verb* **Jackie-and-Laurie**

The act of sending a picture over the internet or MMS to another person while recording audio only content. The term is a reference to the podcast "The Jackie and Laurie Show" in which the hosts will often write down names of individuals instead of speaking them as a way of redacting the names for the pod.

*Here, I'll Jackie-and-Laurie you a picture of this cool thing we got in the mail and the tens of thousands of people listening to us will never see. Isn't podcasting fun? Great pod.*

## External Links

The Jackie and Laurie Show - MaxFun Podcast
Dadmiral

## Pod Apperances

Special:WhatLinksHere/Dadmiral

**Fleet Admiral Charles Vance** is played by Oded Fehr, by all accounts a rather handsome dude. Just look at that fetching more salt than pepper beard, the windswept hair, that stern brow, those dark eyes gazing through your soul into infinity....

...

*Ahem*. He is clearly old enough to be your dad. But not just any dad. He could be the quintessential dad. The epitome of all dads everywhere. In fact, he could be any one of

* DIS 305 - Admiral Grecian Formula
* DIS 305 - Admiral Just For Men
* DIS 308 - Admiral Touch of Grey
* DIS 309 - Admiral Salt & Pepper
* DIS 311 - Admiral Her Friend Your Mom Told Your Dad Not To Worry About
* DIS 311 - Admiral The Photo That Comes in an Executive Picture Frame
* DIS 312 - Admiral Uncle Your Dad Never Talks About Because They Don't See Eye to Eye Politically
* DIS 312 - Admiral School Principal That's Not Mad He's Just Disappointed
* DIS 313 - Admiral Best Looking Guy at Your High School Reunion
* DIS 313 - Admiral Erectile Dysfunction Medication Spokesmodel
* DIS 313 - Admiral September 2014 Cover Model of Yachting Life Magazine
* DIS 313 - Admiral Stock Photo on a Wealth Management Website
* DIS 313 - Admiral Stern Stepdad You Didn't Understand Growing Up But Now That You're An Adult You Sort Of Understand Why He Was The Way He Was
* TGD 00114 - Admiral Guy Who Has Strong Opinions About The Upholstery In Different Kinds Of British Luxury Car
* TGD 00114 - Admiral Too Busy To Play Catch With His Son Because He's Really Busy With Work
* TGD 00114 - Admiral Cigar Aficionado
* TGD 00114 - Admiral I Think I See The Air Marshal On This Flight
* TGD 00114 - Admiral Johnny Quest Villain
* TGD 00114 - Admiral Mirror Universe Mullet (Wisdom In The Front, Business In The Back)
* TGD 00114 - Admiral Tenure Track
* TGD 00114 - Admiral Director Of Sales And Marketing
* TGD 00114 - Admiral Sociologist Interviewed In A Documentary About A Cult
* TGD 00143 - Admiral You Can't Precisely Smell His Cologne, But The Room Just Feels Classier When He's In It
* TGD 00143 - Admiral Actor In A Commercial For Generic Testosterone Pills
* TGD 00145 - Admiral Definitely Has Season Tickets To The Symphony Even If He Has To Go By Himself
* TGD 00147 - Admiral Blackjack Dealer In A Cruise Ship Casino
* TGD 00149 - Admiral Bottle Service
DS9 709

Transponder crystals, little, red-orange, different.

*Dukat has started a Pah-wraith tax shelter on Empok Nor and kidnaps Kira in what feels like his 47th attempt to be her mate. To make matters worse an old friend of hers has drunk the Cardi Kool Aid Dukat is mixing.*

*Dukat may have given his soul to the Pah-wraiths but he's still giving his spoon to every poor Bajoran woman he can. But there's no way he can erase the stigmata when Kira outs the DNA test and his low rent "Snapped" murder attempt.*

## Show Bits

* Loaf
* This Old Starship
* Catbasket
* Pizza Oven Killing Shirt
* Mr. Bajoran Relic

## P1 Messages

From Wesley to Wesley

From Birdy to Birdy

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Gul Dukat**

For being the only one having fun
Ben's pick is **Gul Dukat**

Pawing on the floor trying to find the right pill
## Trading Cards

Odo, I Know You'd Rather Watch Football Than Go To Church. It's Cool!She's Transported To The Empok Nor Church Of The Branch Pah-WraithiansSo You're Telling Me You've Been A Wraith Lord Since The Occupation?How Could He Look Like That And Not Have Been On Melrose Place?It's OK! You Can't Put Loaf On A Newborn. It's Just A Chucky Baby!Come On, Dukat! You Can't "Alien Queen" Someone With A Slow Rolling Door!Her Attack Vector Is Second Level!You Gotta Throw Something Harder!
Guinan's Bean Flick'n Room

## Pod Apperances

Special:WhatLinksHere/Guinan's Bean Flick'n Room

"Bean Flick'n" refers to "bean flicking", a popular euphemism for female masturbation.

It's been determined that Guinan keeps a special room opposite of Ten Forward, where she goes when any sort of action breaks out in the lounge (except the gun-firing scene in 4x17 "Night Terrors"). It's assume that she also visits when she's sick of listening to people and needs to relieve some stress.
Maques/Maquis

The Maquis ('mah-kee') is a group of federation rebels/terrorists that was created after the Federation signed a treaty with Cardassia. Initially introduced as part of Ro Larens TNG story arc, the Maquis continued through DS9 and Voyager.

Intentionally confused with "Maques" ('may-kweece'), a Cairn ambassador introduced by Lwaxana Troi in TNG S7 Ep9 "Dark Page".

The drop used is Lwaxana pronouncing the characters name.
DS9 519

Dukat's Jem'Hadar battle cruiser at Deep Space 9

*Kira's foster Cardassian has contracted Dying Troupe Disease. Before he kicks the bucket (look out, Odo!) he wants Kira to hear his live performance of his autobiography. Why?!?! You all keep logs anyone can access!*

*Dukat brings some of Ghemor's unreleased tracks to Kira that cause her to double down on the daddy issues. Sisko finds out Weyoun really is the Re-animator! Riker would have dustbustered him on the spot!*

## Show Bits

* Vichy Frenchman
* K urn
* Julian Bashir: Piss Freak
* Pizza Oven Killing Shirt
* It means omertà. It means rewenge

## P1 Messages

Canadian marriage

Merry Whenever!

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Carassian soldier**

For staring daggers at a Jem'Hadar in the background
Ben's pick is **Weyoun**

For not giving a shit
## Trading Cards

Come On! Don't You Want To Set Up A Government In Exile?Don't Let The Guy With Space Syndrome Hold The BabyHe Gets The Craftmatic BlobedHaircast Flashback!Sisko: I Watched You Die, Man. Weyoun: Nah!!!!!If There's No Loaf Split, She Did Not HitHis Final Words: Why Do We Make Pizza Ovens But No Pizza?Kira Gives Good Grave
## Transcript

Official Maxfun Transcript
DS9 114

A map of the Glyrhond River on Bajor.

*It's "Bajor" trouble with Bashir and O'Brien in a village that's part Dr. Seuss and part David Koresh. Mayor Breck Girl fights an "Otisburg-Level" landgrab!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Bashir**

After ~5 min on the planet, Bashir becomes quippy despite his responsibilities (and basically being the It's Always Sunny Mac)
Ben's pick is **Petit Sirah**

At 26:26, maintaining eye-contact as he leaves the frame
## Trading Cards

The Politics Of An Unwilling RoadtripHe's Peak Old!Got Real Nice HairFuck You Cloud!The Most Insane Pairing Of Two StoriesGold, Frankincense And MyrrhA Volume Of Ejecta That Is Quite AlarmingDashiki!!!
ANUS TAR Trek

Community x Arrested Development x Star Trek

## Pod Apperances

Special:WhatLinksHere/ANUS TAR Trek

Based off the license plate Tobias got in season 4 of w:c:ArrestedDevelopment: **ANUSTART**. Intended to be read as "A New Start", everyone else reads it as "Anus Tart".

Pronounced "A Nü Star Trek".

Anüs Tar Trek cannot be defined by what it is, only by what it is not.

Anüs Tar Trek is not the new name of The Greatest Discovery podcast, a nü Star Trek podcast that is a rebranding of an old Star Trek podcast by a couple of guys who are embarrassed to have this many Star Trek podcasts.

Anüs Tar Trek is not the travel podcast by Armus, tar creature who is a bit of an asshole.

Anüs Tar Trek is probably not the name of a beverage that you can buy at your local coffee shop, but that's just a matter of time.

Anüs Tar Trek might be an item for sale at Ikea. Maybe one of those weird shoe expander things that nobody knows what they're for.
DS9 419

Poster by J.J. LendL

*In 2372, a crack chief of operations was sent to a mental prison by a loafy court for a crime he didn't commit. He spent 20 fake years in the stockade before returning to DS9. He has a problem. No one can help. Ee'char keeps finding him!*

*Miles' "anonymous employee survey" level of problem denial and Steven Seagal-like drink ordering is not going over well. With the Kurn Protocols off the table he goes for a phaser lobotomy. Can Bashir and Spectral Cellie mellow him out?*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **No Shimoda given**

Episode too serious and dark
Ben's pick is **Bolian at the bar**

Doing nothing about the assault happening next to him
## Trading Cards

A Punitive "Inner Light"This Is Not Oz, New FishSeeing VisionsIt Should Be VibratingNever Talk To Me Off Stage! Go Through Robs!You Don't Have To Drink Pruno!Pretty Brutal Friend BreakupIt's Not You I Hate, Daddy. It's What You Made Me Become
DIS 106

Poster by J.J. LendL

Admiral Bob

*A MVGA truther DeathiPens himself blasting Sarek and his shuttle. Burnham gets his katraside assistance call and goes full Xanadu dance number to verify his location. Lorca gets called on the carpet...and the drapes...by Admiral Bob.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **The Food Replicator**

For how great it would be to start the day with a lovely convo with a food replicator
~~Ben's pick is **Admiral Bob**~~

~~For not anticipating the trap she's getting into by going to meet the Klingons~~
Ben's pick is **Adam**

For his comments about the Food Replicator
## Trading Cards

Holodeck Paintball Is Really Video Gamed UpSuper Explosive Monkish ImmolationA Bad Reaction To Shaking HandsArriving At White Board Vomit NebulaCan Humans Put The Fingers On?Oh...I'm Fit For DutyHe Really Throws Off Her "Performance" ReviewIsn't Seeing Traps How You Get To Be Admiral?
DS9 520

Morn eats a jumja stick.

*Pay no attention to the Moogie behind the curtain! Quark comes home with the latinum blues to find Ishka pulling a "Remington Steele" to keep Zek on the throne. Rom...I repeat...Rom!...asks Leeta!...for a pre-up! ROM!!!*

*Brunt offers Quark his business license back if he can Yoko Ono Zek and Moogie but he doesn't count on Quark catching fifth act remorse. Turns out Rom don't care too much for money. Love is all he needs...and begging.*

## P1 Messages

7th Rule Promo

Happy Birthday

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Sisko**

For his interactions with a crying Rom
Ben's pick is **Rom**

The "Wavier of Profit and Property" gambit
## Trading Cards

Maihar'Du's Life Is So UncomfortableOther People's Happiness Generally Does Not Help DepressionThis Weird Experiment Has Turned Into A LifestyleI'm Bumpy And Lumpy 'Cause I Get So Much Oo-Mox On The RegI Want A Pre-Nup Since You Won't Be Nude And Unemployed When We're Married!They Are Not Bothering With The TransporterGet Yourself A European Crying StallNurse Ratched Can Be Kai. Why Can't I Be Nagus?A Very Unsurprising Reveal Of Who Helped
## Transcript

Official Maxfun Transcript
DS9 219

The bridge of Kang's Bird-of-Prey.

*Three old Klingons with actual Kirk-cred come looking for Dax, Curzon to dole out some OG bat'leth vengeance. But when they think Dax, Jadzia won't fit the bill she shows she's a slug who can slug!*

*The Bat'leth Gang lands on Planet Burbank and takes on the fiercest fetish guards to reach the galaxy's most dangerous man - who looks like Red Forman wearing a onesie and an inflatable pool chair.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Kor**

Knocking heads together, having a bunch of ladies together, enjoying the rest of his life
Ben's pick is **Albino's assistant**

For being pointless during the fight scene
## Trading Cards

A Very Inebriated KlingonThe Still Very Drunk KorThe Loaf Can Forgive A Lot Of ProblemsI Don't Like "Godfather." It's "Courrier Electronique!"Your Nemesis Picard Allowed ThisWorld's Dorkiest GuardsYou Don't Want To Be Henching For This GuyAbout To Do The Dude!
DIS 304

What's in the Orb? WHAT'S IN THE ORB?!

*While the Disco crew combats its case of the future Mondays, Adira and Burnham arrive on Trill to see if they can defrag the anklyosaur and get those memories. But the Trill see grand theft slug and lean toward an Adiraectomy!*

*Saru's Thanks-giving dinner is a Griswold level failure. Adira survives her Wes Craven spa day, gets all her and Tal's memories back and has a ghost boyfriend! At least she doesn't have to clean up a bunch of clay everywhere.*

## Show Bits

* Ankylosaurus
* This Old Starship
* K urn
* Julian Bashir: Piss Freak
* Kevin Uxbridge
* Episode Over-Cut to theme
* Lawyer Picard
* Star Trek Caves

## P1 Messages

To she who is my wife

To all the Jubs in all the Pubs

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Saru**

for jeopardizing the ship
Ben's pick is **Rhys and Bryce**

for bailing when the party goes south
## Trading Cards

He Has Diagnosed Them With Seattle Chill. They Don't Recognize Other Living People.Jadzia And Ezri Got One Bean Burrito Sized. Adira Got The Super Burrito!Yeah. So...We're Thinking We're Going To Have To Kill You.We Go Centuries Into The Future And IT Always Circles Back To "Spear As Weapon." Ugh!Have We Ever Had A Good Dinner Scene In Star Trek?Geordi Eyes!A New Contender For Best Admiral UniformIs She As Insane As Gul Dukat???
DS9 203

*Starfleet gives the order to pull out of Deep Saigon Nine, but Sisko and crew turn native and go full Bajor Cong!*

*Kira and Dax try to make the Kessel Run to Bajor to keep Jaro away from the paper shredder while everyone else plays Phaser Tag back on the station.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Morn**

For being confused about how to get off the station in the crowd scene
Ben's pick is **Jadzia**

For worrying about her robes while significant political change is occuring
## Trading Cards

Nobody's Born RacistA Bunch Of Seahawk Fans Got Left In The Cold!Are You The Conductor?The Pant You Wear Is Problematic w/r/t KnuckIt Looks Like A Parade FloatSo Many Cool T-1000 Things Odo Doesn't KnowA Real Millennium Falcon Feel!A Small Municipality Outside Of Tucson
DS9 111

School on DS9

*When an extremely droopy Tony Robbins convenes a group of Ferengi economic minds, scheming for profit in the Gamma Quadrant is their top priority. But when he chooses Quark as his successor, he is thrust from his comfortable place behind the scenes into a spotlight that proves dangerous. Where are the eyes supposed to go? Why would a Vulcan steal homework from a Ferengi? What are the chances that Rom has a nice apartment? It’s the episode that turns on Find My Friends!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Wallace Shawn**

For going through so much make up, but still being amazing as an actor
Ben's pick is **The Episode Writers**

At the beginning, Nog says his essay was stolen by Vulcans, but then having it revealed that he's illiterate. Inconsistent excuses.
## Trading Cards

Winking Back At Mel BrooksGood Lord! Ugh!!!When The "Con Air" People Call, You Gotta GoAdam Doesn't Laugh At Ben Enough!The Oatmeal Of LonelinessHe Is Loving It!Unbeatable At LimboSpeaking Of Familial Distrust
DS9 610

Leeta tends the bar at Quark's.

*Moogie's been taken! They are looking for ransom but they don't want money. What Quark has is a Vorta & a very particular set of business skills along with a Fereng-A-Team that will make this a nightmare for the Dominion.*

*Kevan gets Helen Sharped before the exchange & Quark tries to stall but Iggy Vorta says "I'm Bored" to his "Blah-Blah-Blah" & threatens to "Bang Bang" them! Nog turns remote Controller to "Spock's Brain" them out of this!*

## Show Bits

* She Who Is My Wife
* Food's Back On The Menu Boys!‏‎
* Honeysticks
* For Some Reason Jake
* RSVP
* Clip Show Device

## P1 Messages

Scarves Tip

To The Classistist

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Rom**

For being naively sweet
Ben's pick is **Leck**

For being very "Lock, Stock, And Two Smoking Barrels"
## Trading Cards

It's Very Little RascalsyThe Fur And Phaser Lassos Go Away And They Turn Into JokesIt's Always Tilted. That's How You Know It's Empok NorIs Anyone Outside? Yup? A Huge Makeup BudgetHe Has A Great Face For Vorta MakeupWhy Would You Cut Me On The Palm? It's The Most Painful Place!Has Anyone Here Seen "Weekend At Bernie's"?He Has All The Accuracy Of A Radio Shack RC Car
DS9 321

Poster by J.J. LendL

Kevin UxbridgeBread Box
Catbasket

*Starfleet is freaking out about getting Lyme disease from all the pissed off ticks Tain's fleet will stir up! Garak fills Odo with Silica gel waves to prove he's Gul Madred levels of committed to getting his old job back.*

*The Cardys and Breadboxes think they're gonna nuke the Founders from orbit Ripley style! But Planet Bucket turns "Planet P" and the ticks burn through the fleet like cocaine through the noses of everyone in an '80s writers room!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Eddington**

For 'Shimoda-ing' the Defiant's cloaking device
Ben's pick is **Garak**

For flipping off the room when turning on the torture device
## Trading Cards

It's Fucking Delicious, Man!That Scene In "Jurassic Park"Julius Is Delicious, Right? No?We're Sending Eight Starships...And The PortlandLook Like A Coleman Camp LanternHe Gets Pretty RottenWhat Adam Always Wanted To See!One Of The Most Director-y Moments In Star Trek
DS9 712

Lesbian slide-whistle to credits

*Quark thinks his dreams of leather Ezri have come true but it's really Mirror Universe Ezri who's knocking to tell him he has to jake a cloaking device to ransom a kidnapped Zek out of the MU.*

*You'd think the Mirror Universe would be a breeze for Ferengi to maneuver through but Quark and Rom are triple crossed at every turn. Will they escape? Will we see the MU again? Did Nana take the catsuit home?*

## Show Bits

* Honeysticks
* RSVP
* Ball Kicking Machine
* Sabo
* W/r/t
* K urn

## P1 Messages

from (name withheld)

from nibble to nibble

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Guy Worf punches in the face**

for not seeing it coming
Ben's pick is **Guard in brig**

for getting cast as a Klingon
## Trading Cards

Do You Want Me To Stick An Ear On Their Table? I've Become Drink Ware BeforeEzri's Shopping From The Pat Benatar Collection!Is This Suspicious Or Are They Just Being Ferengi?Dual Wielding Vic Fontaine Is Pretty Rugged But It Looks Like Mirror Bashir Is A Scat EnthusiastShe Really Kung Fu Grips The Loaf! Guess It's Not Delicate!Worf Doesn't Listen To The "Say No To Beetle Snuff" CampaignBrunt Asks For Quark And Company To Be Set Free. It Doesn't Get Very FarI'm Not Going To Ice You So We Leave The Door Open To Get You Back In Those Leather Pants
DS9 713

*The crew goes from doing shots to getting them! DS9 has it's own Scorpio killer (not Garak) poking holes in Lower Deckers and with no Emergency Dirty Harry program to activate the crew goes full CSI.*

*To catch the killer with the beaming bullets, Ezri calls on the ghost of Hannibal Dax for homicidal pointers. Will she find the shooter before the evil slug on her shoulder makes her go full Dukat?*

## Show Bits

* This Old Starship
* What my theory presupposes is...

## P1 Messages

happy birthday

Vichy Frenchman
Scarves As Currency
Kevin Uxbridge
from Canadian Socialist

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Bertram**

for tanking his career in pursuit of a hobby
Ben's pick is **rando eating breakfast**

for being cast as a helpless victim
## Trading Cards

You Want To Leave The Party Before The Last Drink. Don't Be The Faded Guy!She Slams The Door On His Dick!Adam Lost The Bet! He's Dead Before The End Of The Cold Open!She Only Went Through A Wood Table. She Should Have Survived!!!The Murderer Was...Gallagher!Ezri Says "Anklyosaur" Five Times In The MirrorShe's About To Stab Him Like The Joker!Because It's Not Discovery She Gets Him In The Shoulder Instead Of The Eye
DS9 223

Mirror Klingons are very chill

*Kira and Bashir fall into the Skinemax Universe and find a DS9 that's part Blue Oyster Bar and part Fight Club. Can they get off the station before Mirror Kira just gets off?*

*Mirror DS9 is part Senior Prom and part mine scene from "Temple of Doom" Cantina Bar Sisko is cool, but I have a feeling that James T. Kirk would have been off that station in about 4 minutes and that includes getting laid.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Daily Double! **The arm/hand coming into the frame at 27m to do double-Kira hands**

For having big man-hands like the Seinfeld episode
## Trading Cards

Here's Hoping You Don't Cross Over To BeersAt Least Kira CuriousThis Is Not Just Superficial Mirror Universe BullshitAnybody Believe We're Not Getting Drunk This Episode?There's No Such Thing As A Non-Romantic Chin GrabThe Same Outfit!The HD Transfer Would Be Worth It For This!"Where Have You Been?" NO!!!!!!!!!!
DS9 216

Surface of Yadera II.

*Dax and Odo find a bunch of colonists who are all cosplaying bedtime Ebenezer Scrooge at Mardi Gras and have a bad case of "Remember Me."*

*A Twist of Fate brings Vedek Bareil to DS9 and almost gives Kira a Heart Attack. There's Magic in the air at dinner when they both decide You're The One That I Want and things get Physical! Let 'em hear your bodies talk!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Colyus**

For being a town bumpkin sheriff who says 'that was my favorite cloak' when they are demonstrating that they are holograms
Ben's pick is **Jadzia**

Despite a long memory of how diplomacy works, simply telling all these people that they are holographic simulations
## Trading Cards

Is He Really The Local Sheriff?Will You Be "Doing Crime?"You'll Learn From The Best Of What's Available... Chief O'Brien!He "Transportersplains" HimYou Think I Don't Care About Your Well Being? Fuck You!He Is Not A Celibate Religious FigureIt's On? Yeah...It's On!He Went Full Barclay
Conferences are Dangerous

Just as wearing a *red shirt* was an incredibly dangerous choice during the TOS era, attending a conference marks TNG crew for plot-critical disasters.

Examples include:

* *The Mind's Eye*, in which Laforge misses a conference and is instead turned into a Romulan-controlled assassin.
* *Timescape*, in which conference goers return to find the Entrepreneur trapped in a slow-time bubble
* *Skin of Evil*, in which Troi crashed onto a planet with a malevolent mud puddle on her way back from a conference.
* *Qpid*, in which the bridge crew are kidnapped from an archeological conference and taken to a Sherwood Forest.
* *Dark Page*, in which Lwaxana Troi falls into a coma while accompanying telepathic aliens to a conference.
* *Suspicions*, in which Beverly Crusher hosts a conference after-party on the Entrepreneur, leading to murder and, presumably, multiple court-martial trials.
* *Face of the Enemy,* in which Troi is kidnapped by the Romulan underground and used to transport defectors to Federation space...on her way back from a conference.

See also Uber Missions
DS9 322

Poster by J.J. LendL

Bit Origin: Crankin' ItBit Origin: Jazz Horse

*Sisko RIY's a camper bus from an old Popular Bajoran Mechanics article and he wants Jake to come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with him. A new girl has eyes (and lungs) for Bashir but he's got GPA performance anxiety.*

*The Siskos climb aboard their starship & head for the skies filled with icy death in a homemade camper. Like when my parents took me to Niagara Falls. Bashir confronts his woman anxiety the traditional way: alcohol & wrong assumptions.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Daily Double! **Morn**

For listening in to Quark's conversation with Bashir and O'Brien from the staircase
## Trading Cards

"Horsey Thicc" Handle That No ProblemWe Gotta Talk About "Beard"I've Been A Little Weird About How I Open Up My MapBanger!!! Emergency Patter!Getting "Apartment Hammered""Bashir" Is Not An Andorian NameHolding In A ShitDoing The Right Thing...I Guess
DIS 313

Poster by J.J. LendL

*Vance proves he's got Quinteros blood in his veins by letting Discovery easily escape the Stardonut. While Burnham offers Osyraa Waze to the BURN planet, Osyraa lets the air out of Tilly and crew...literally!*

*There's no love in an elevator lost between Book and Zareh! Osyraa pushes Burnham into the Superman 3 Webscoe computer with similar results! The day is saved! The shuttlebay is closed! Time to UPS for the UFP!*

## Show Bits

* Dadmiral
* Episode Over-Cut to theme
* RSVP
* Kevin Uxbridge

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Book**

For going pro-wrestler when his cat is insulted
Ben's pick is **Saru**

Farewell
## Trading Cards

How Is 20 Ships To 1 Even A Contest???Stamets Looks Bad Every Time He Bursts In With His CrisisAllow Me To Singlehandedly Fix This Problem Because I'm Michael BurnhamWe Thought The Suggestion Was Only Owo Would Die?Just To Restate... This Is PreposterousOsyraa Was Satisfied The Wall Was It. It Wasn't It!What Happened To Your Feet???The New Duds Are Dope!
CocoNoNos

An infamous Tiki Drink, shared between Geordi La Forge and his doomed-from-the-start date companion, Christy Henshaw. Served in a halved coconut or coconut analog, this drink is sure to disquiet even the most nubile of ensigns.

The Food Replicator blog has created their own recipe of the Coco No-no. Is it accurate? Whatever.

First appearance: episode 53 "Slathered in Middler"
DS9 105

Nurse Jabara

*DS9 starts pumping out tainted Star(Trek)bucks that gives everyone Reverse Rosetta Stone disease. Somebody needs to replicate Mr. T fast. He knows how to get rid of the jibber jabber!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Quark**

For his weird head-grab as the ship blows up at the end
Ben's pick is **Nurse Jabara**

For acting surprised \*every\* time someone shows up in sickbay with aphasia
## Trading Cards

Angry Harangues!It Tastes Like SankaNot Happy With The FlavorListen, Kira. They're Gonna Look At Your Boobs.Can't Make A Nose Or Ears. Can Make Four Casters.A Fish In The FurnaceNURK!The Parking Brake Is On!
DS9 717

How many runabouts have we lost?

*While Sisko tries to hang a "Sold" sign on some Century 24 real estate and an unimpressive ring for a moneyless society on Kasidy's finger, Ezri searches for Worf's lifepod that is surely filling with a warrior's farts!*

*Dukat has Damar hook him up with Cardi Hills best plastic surgeon for a major spoonjob! Worf and Ezri go from distress call to booty call! Sisko's Prophet Mama does not hold her peace when it come to him marrying Kasidy!*

## Show Bits

* This Old Starship
* K urn
* Eyes to Commercial
* Klingon Dong Redundancy
* "Jake"ing Shuttlecraft
* For Some Reason Jake
* RSVP
* Episode Over-Cut to theme
* Worf Hates Doors

## P1 Messages

From Friendly Fire P1s

To Ben & Adam

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Ezri**

For jaking a shuttle
Ben's pick is **Ezri & Worf**

for not packing the communications relay in the luggage
## Trading Cards

There's Still A War On You Know? This Is Like Buying Land In Vietnam In 1973!They Did It This Way So They Didn't Have To Pay Terry FarrellScience Fiction Is Having A Hobby That Can Live In The Living RoomHe Does Disgust And Awe And Fear And Compassion All In One LookDamar Just Got Dukatblocked!Does Anyone Want This?????Is He Doing This So He Can Move Next To Sisko?The Prophets Say She's No Good For You. Is It Too Late To Sell The Property On Bajor?
DS9 416

Poster by J.J. LendL

Bit Origin: Julian Bashir: Piss Freak

*Rom's excessive cranking it to Skin-ear-max has given him a Ceti Eel level STD, which turns into a case of Norma Rae's thanks to Quark's poor HMO. Why is Worf pissed he got robbed? None of the doors on the D locked!*

*Rom is reading from the book of Hoffa instead of the Rules of Acquisition and it's giving Quark profit interuptus. Ferenginar sends Brunt negotiate a settlement and he's ready to put someone in a concrete torpedo to do it.*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Nausicaans**

Throwing darts at each other
Ben's pick is **Quark**

O-face in response to the strike
## Trading Cards

Expected It To Come Out His Other EarTending To His Novelty Thermos CollectionYou Know What Always Helps Poppa Feel Better?Find A Target Without A Sword!Walks Into r/poppingHe Thinks They're Doing BitsFucked Up The Way Bashir Should Have BeenHe's Got A New Job. Labor Wins!
DS9 110

A chula board.

*Nog's teaching Jake about the birds and the ears. The Galactic Series of Space Poker comes to town. Quark's got the goldmine, and the crew got the shap!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Jake**

For the look of embarrassment on his face at 17:07 for ogling Bajoran girls
Ben's pick is **Kira**

For her look when having to do the "Allamaraine, count to four" routine
## Trading Cards

Nog Pronounces Body Parts The Way He Pronounces "Hu-mon"Grandparents Who Travel From Casino To CasinoClassically WorthlessSo ObviousIt's Hurtful To SeeEvery Man Looks Like Jared LetoYou Shit The Bed, You Sleep In It, QuarkNo Hard Feelings, Right?
Julian Bashir: Piss Freak

Bashir's alien urine sample collection, for "medical" reasons.

## Pod Apperances

Special:WhatLinksHere/Julian Bashir: Piss Freak

In one episode after Bashir has done something particularly dumb the camera pans over and we see a storage niche just packed with thermoses. Shelves upon shelves of the stuff. Naturally our boys Ben and Adam concluded that he is storing piss there.
Chaotic Bro

Mordock and his vaping rig, blasting fat cotton

## Pod Apperances

Special:WhatLinksHere/Chaotic Bro

In Ep. 18 "Chaotic Bro" (S1E19) Adam and Ben note that Benzite Starfleet Test applicant Mordock vapes 24/7. The Benzite also made a return in Ep. 33 "2 Chaotic 2 Bro" (S2E08).

Chaotic Bro is a reference to Dungeons & Dragons character's moral alignment. In the game characters can have variety of moral alignments for example chaotic good or lawful evil are options a player can choose. Mordock is both chaotic and a bro because of his sick vape device.
DS9 723

## Lights On

A young doctor confronts a famous colleague; when he learns about the true methods of his work.

## Game of Buttholes

### Landed on

75
80

## DS9 723

### Next Episode

A Charade for Dignity
Casa de Tain

*Odo's headed for that big Mutara Nebula in the sky unless Bashir & O'Brien get the cure for The Flake from Sloan. But he drops his brain in the toilet so the boys must fill it full of their mental rice before his SIM card dies!*

*Bashir and O'Brien make it past awkward family reunions, mental dustbusters and an obvious explanation about why Miles isn't a great husband just in time to swipe the cure and save Odo from "Amazing Grace" on the bagpipes!*

## Show Bits

* McLaughlin Group
* W/r/t
* Clip Show Device
* Un-adjective X-Men
* The Single Brass Instrument Of Subtext
* Bangers

## P1 Messages

Promo: podcast

Thanks for Star Trekking me

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Gene Hackman and Hugh Grant**

For the movie *Extreme Measures*
Ben's pick is **Bashir**

For trying to bullshit that an injection wouldn't hurt
## Trading Cards

It's The Star Trek Equivalent Of Waking Up In A Body BagIt's One Of The Grossest Kisses In Star Trek HistoryWhat?!?!?!All That Genetic Enhancment And Bashir Can't Predict A Cyanide ToothThey've Gotta Go Brain SpelunkingLeather Sloan Takes Out Repentant Husband Sloan!We Don't Have Time For You To Supermarket Sweep This Place!Bashir Should Have Closed That Torpedo Lid In Case Odo Exploded
DS9 304

Poster by J.J. LendL

Sisko's Cooking

*Dax gets a musical earworm that makes her Ceti Alpha 5 levels of irritable. After she goes Klingon Bobby Fischer with Sisko and almost has foxy boxing with Kira, Bashir finds the earworm is the real worm!*

*Dax goes home to see a premier escargotologist. Instead of help for Dax, Sisko and Bashir find a Soylent Green-level of coverup on her slug's Car Fax that if it goes public will be like saying anyone can start a podcast!*

## Drunk Shimoda

Adam's pick is **Sisko**

For threatening to destroy Trill culture
Ben's pick is **Odo**

For being a fish-out-of-water when whisking
## Trading Cards

They Are Clearly Brasing Those Beets!I'm Not A Player. I Just Fuck A LotDo You Think Kira Could Kick Dax's Ass?Why Don't They Have Blankets On The Defiant?Comes. Visits. Leaves.A "May I?" Would Be Nice!Why Is This So Great?Let's Hug It Out. Let's Get Wet!