Vortex Vikings

**Vortex Vikings** is a show that premiers on the Saturday Morning Channel every Saturday at 9:00am. The show stars Gorgek the Bearded and his friends who form the group the Vortex Vikings, which is where the show gets his name from. The Vortex Vikings go through countless adventures in the Death Pipe, an alternative version of Space where many dangers lie.

The show is considered by many people to be an ideal children's show. Many parents have stated it is the perfect distraction for their young ones while they, the adults, deal with the harsh cruelties of the world. They like the silly concept of a bunch of space vikings going on wacky adventures.

The show currently has three seasons and has been renewed for a fourth season coming at some later time.

## Premise

The story follows the Vortex Vikings as they journey in their ship, the Wretched Apple, through the Death Pipe. The Vortex Vikings is led by Gorgek the Bearded, the strongest and mightiest viking with red beard growing out of every inch of his skin. He wears a helmet decorated with the tusks of the Three-Ponged Yorgwart, a beast he slayed during his childhood.

Along with Gorgek is his friends. His first friend is Jeremy Sunsprinkles, a very small and timid viking who is honestly not that great at being a viking. His second friend is BoBerta the Girl, a girl viking who tries to find the good in people but otherwise results to violence and bloodshed. The Vortex Vikings is completed with their pet Snurok, a living venus fly trap that is always, always hungry.

Later in Season 3, they also recruit Pike Picante who is a tough, clever man with red hair.

## Story

### Season 1

At the start of the season we are introduced to Gorgek and his friends. They go through very simple adventures through a possessed massage palace and a pizza place filled with a lava monster in the first couple of episodes. By episode three the Vortex Vikings find themselves caught up in black hole with limited means of survival. While Jeremy Sunsprinkles panics throughout most of the episode and BoBerta the Girl tries to find a way of getting out of the black hole, Gorgek has to make some decisions of what to do until BoBerta can figure out how to get out.

The main problem they come across first is food. They are stranded in the black hole for days and their limited supply aboard the Wretched Pipe starts to run out. With seemingly no options left, Gorgek makes a tough decision. He has to sacrifice their pet Snurok in order to survive. Gorgek leads Snurok into the fueling chamber, reassuring him that they are just checking the fuel one last time because they'll need as much fuel as they need in order to get out of the black hole when the time comes. While Snurok is busy complementing their captain at how good a master he is, Gorgek reaches for his sword. After the commercial break, we see Gorgek come back up to Jeremy and BoBerta and offer them freshly cooked food, saying he just found some in the back. When asked about what happened to Snurok, who wasnt with him anymore, Gorgek says he tripped and fell out of the ship, never to be seen again. After they eat, BoBerta says she figured out a way to get them out of the black hole and she discovered how as soon as Snurok went to get more food. Soon after, they escape from the black hole.

The season continues on as Gorgek tries to cope with some sort of darkness that is plaguing him. It's never really explained, but it can be assumed it has to do something with Snoruk because he keeps repeating his name over and over again. Gorgek begins to drink a lot of warm milk, much more than he ever had before. His friends start to worry about him, but every time they try to take his milk away he becomes very angry. They wrestle with this as they continue on their adventures.

The season ends with a terrifying Breektrit destroying the Wretched Apple, sending the three Vikings spiraling down to some unknown planet.

### Season 2

The beginning of this season is unique to the series because it shows the Vortex Vikings separated on the planet they fell to in the previous season finale. The episodes are split up from each viking's perspective as they try to find their way back to each other. Gorgek finds himself in the Village of Beautiful Women. All the women of the village want to kiss him a lot, but he resists their advances because his heart belongs to another. After that he fights off a giant crocodile, a giant shrimp, and a giant chicken and later makes himself a giant 3-course breakfast. Eventually, he finds his way to the Crater of Rock People and reunites with BoBerta.

In Jeremy's segments we see him completely terrified and crying with everything he comes across. As he continues along, we find him becomingg braver and actually facing off with some monsters including the dreaded Golden-Eyed Goldfish. Eventually he makes it to the Crater of Rock People and is surprised by something he has discovered.

In BoBerta's segments we see her trapped inside the Swamp of Frosting, a terrible place where diabetes is almost inevitable. Despite her cravings to eat the entire swamp, she fought her way through it without even eating a spoonful. Once she escaped she had to get through the Maze of Complicated Signs which is basically a maze with a whole bunch of signs in different languages stating the right way to go. Many of the signs pointed to certain death. BoBerta eventually figured out the safest route by beating up a multilingual nerd and forcing him to help her. She tried being nice and just asked for his help, but once he refused she got violent about it. Once through the maze she finds her way to the Crater of Rock People before reuniting with Gorgek soon after.

When Gorgek reunites with Boberta, he finally reveals his true feelings for her. He has always had a huge crush on her and totally wants to kiss her on the mouth and not the cheek. She returns his feelings by saying that she also felt this way for a long time. Before their romance blossoms any further, the two are captured by a horde of rock people. The two struggle to break free, but they aren't strong enough. They are forced into the king's chambers and are stunned to learn that Jeremy Sunsprinkles has become their king. He begins on a monologue about how he always thought he was timid and a coward, but in reality it was both of them, Gorgek and BoBerta who had convinced him of this. He came to realize that he wasn't some scaredy-cat side character and he could do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. To prove his power he forces the rock people to hold down BoBerta on her stomach in front of him and to spread her legs. He also makes the rock people pin Gorgek down and pry open his eyes so he couldn't look away from what was about to happen.

After the commercial break, BoBerta is lying on the floor staring off into the distance looking alone and broken. Meanwhile, Gorgek is screaming out in anger, threatening to destroy Jeremy the first chance he gets. Jeremy taunts that he'd like to see him try. Somehow, Gorgek finds the strength to throw off the rock people and grab h sword. He chases Jeremy toward a patio outside the castle. Jeremy tells him with one final laugh that no matter if he does win this battle, BoBerta will never be the same again. Gorgek swings his sword and Jeremy avoids it, but he ends up falling from the patio and into the darkness below, never to be seen again.

The season ends with Gorgek leading BoBerta out of the Crater of Rock People. He tells her that everything will be okay and that the rock people are helping to rebuild their ship, the Wretched Apple.

### Season 3

The season opens with Gorgek piloting the Wretched Apple through a star field. Since they lost Jeremy as part of their crew, Gorgek figures they need to recruit another member for the Vortex Vikings. BoBerta doesn't show any enthusiasm for this adventure and just stares out the window until they finally reach Galactic Milkshake Palace, the biggest place in the galaxy to get milkshakes. It is also one of the places where the biggest and baddest people hang around, so one of them would have to be a great member of the Vortex Vikings. When Gorgek and BoBerta enter, BoBerts heads straight for the counter and orders a glass of warm milk straight up. She continues to down warm milk while Gorgek surveys the area.

At the very end of the palace in he corner a man with fiery red hair sits, drinking a pickled milkshake with extra pickles. Gorgek takes a seat and questions him about his adventures. The man recalls his last adventure: a daring quest to save a princess and her hot sister from the wrath of a terrible snail king. He talks about how he salted the beast and rescued both of them. Afterward, he totally kissed the hot sister on the mouth and not at all on the cheek. Gorgek asks him to prove his claims and the Main points to his necklace. The necklace is made from the antennas of the snail king. Gorgek is impressed and asks for the man's name. The man says his name is Pike Picante and he is more than happy to join the Vortex Vikings, even though Gorgek hadn't even mentioned it yet.

With Pike Picante on their crew, the three leave the Galactic Milkshake Palace and head out for adventure in the Death Pipe like old times. On their journeys they come across many planets and challenges. They come across an unopenable box in the City of Openable Things and Gorgek vows to help them. Before he can do anything, Pike picks the lock on the box and opens it. Gorgek is impressed and tells BoBerta that he has definitely found a valuable member for the crew, but she is busy tightening the ties in her tunic. Then they quest to a strange planet where everything is purple and have to vanquish a terrible purple pizza monster. Gorgek tries to slay the beast with his sword but it is too fast. Luckily, Pike vanquishes the creature by splashing red paint all over it. Because the world requires all of its inhabitants to be purple, the pizza monster is instantly vaporized.

Things go on like this for a few more adventures and Gorgek starts to realize that Pike may be a little too good in his position of the Vortex Vikings. He tells his concerns to BoBerta in her room and she responds that she hadn't even noticed they got a new member of the crew. Gorgek sees that BoBerta hasn't been the same since the Jeremy incident and vows to her that he will challenge Pike to a duel. When he wins, Pike will be booted out. Gorgek has come to realize that he only needs her for the Vortex Vikings to be While and once things return to normal he will help her as much as he can through her difficulties. Only then may they rekindle the romance they revealed for each other only a short time ago. BoBerfa nods, but she is only half listening.

Gorgek takes Pike to the deck of the Wretched Apple and challenges him to the duel. Pike demands that if he wins that he will be the leader of the Vortex Vikings and the captain of the Wretched Apple. They both accept each other's terms and the duel commences. Gorgek draws his sword and starts swinging at Pike. Pike dodges a lot of the swings, but is struck a couple times. Gorgek sheaths his sword and grabs Pike by the neck and forces him to the ground. Gorgek demands he surrenders, but all Pike does is laugh. He says that he has one more trick up his sleeve and that there is a reason he is called Pike Picante.

Pike opens his mouth and breathes fire all over Gorgek. Because his body is completely covered in hair he is consumed in flames. Luckily, Gorgek remembers to stop, drop, and roll and the flames eventually go out. However, this was just a clever distraction for Pike to grab Gorgek's sword. When Gorgek looks up, he sees it's too late with Pike about to strike with his own sword.

After the commercial break, Gorgek sits on the deck looking out into the Death Pipe with an empty stare. There is a nub covered in bandages where one of his arms used to be and all of his hair has been burned away. Gorgek readies to pilot the ship because even though Pike is leader now, he doesn't know how to pilot the ship so he has Gorgek do it.

BoBerta bursts onto the deck and proclaims that she is tired of being a burden for the creek. She says from that point on she is going to be completely devoted to the Vortex Vikings and romantically devoted to the leader of the crew. Pike comes out and says that he's pleased to hear that because he is now leader of the crew. Stunned, BoBerta tries to correct what she meant but it is too late. Pike tells her that oral contracts are binding, so she must be devoted to him romantically, which means they will be married. Gorgek says nothing as he pilots the ship to their next destination.

### Season 4

There are no confirmations about what Season 4 will be in terms of story, but there are rumors that this will be a redemption arc where Gorgek the Bearded will defeat Pike Picante, stop the impendilong wedding, and he and BoBerta will be romantically together once more. However, the chances of this are uncertain because people have predicted there would be redemption arcs ever since Season 2.

## Controvery

The show has usually always been accepted by the general public as a good and child-friendly show, however there was one incident of controversy at one point in the show's run. During Season 2 there was to be an episode where after Gorgek escaped the Village of Beautiful Women he would have to face a Hell Beast. People were horrified at the mention of the word "Hell" in a children's show. The episode was completely unaired and can only be viewed from torrent websites.