recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933) (Song)

This song is played during airings of Mystery of the Wax Museum. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Blow the Man Down (English sea shanty).

## Lyrics

That guy feels the museum's due for defeat

Disagree, he throws the man down

He'll take the insurance while he takes the heat

It's such a crime to burn the joint down

It's odd that a body will rise when it's dead

No big deal, he'll lay it back down

The next one that sits up has one ugly head

When the body is tied, he'll lower it down

Cops sit around while thugs bring a box 'round

Just take care there! Set the crate down

That flunky the junkie's been blabbing around

Worth thinks it's time to throw the man down

When Charlotte drops in where her boyfriend will be

With his cross boss rolling around

When Igor sets eyes on her, here's what he'll see

He sees Marie, who once melted down

Then Flo scrapes a toe and she's starting to snoop

It's a clue to make Flo climb down

She must keep in mind, if she can't get a scoop

Mind her behind, he'll throw things around
Svengoolie Stomp (Song)

I'm actually kind of surprised this wasn't one of the first songs transcribed on this Wiki. Featuring Svengoolie, Doug Graves, Freddy "Boom Boom" Cannon, Boddy Sorell and a cast of Chicken Chuckers (with special guest appearances by Trace Beaulieu and Frank Conniff, Jim Cornette, David Dastmalchian, Lou Ferrigno, Gilbert Gottfried (R.I.P. Angry Screaming Man), Dana Gould, John C. McGinley, Amy Hersey, Bill Kurtis, Larry Thomas and Penn and Teller), as far as I know, this is a totally original song and is played whenever they've lost permission to use the original parody song but haven't come up with a new one using any of the public domain songs at their disposal.

## Video

FMV

Audio Only

## Lyrics

They did the Stomp! Svengoolie Stomp!

They did the Stomp! Svengoolie Stomp!

When the moon is full, the mummies romp!

Now everybody's doing the Svengoolie Stomp!

Well, I went to a party last Saturday night!

I walked into the room, it was an eerie sight!

Everybody dressed like monsters, you see!

They were watching Svengoolie on MeTV!

He stood there in his casket! He was laughing away!

He talked about the movie he was gunna play!

Frankenstein and Wolfman did the Monster Mash!

And Dracula's Daughter, she was havin' a blast!

She did the Stomp! Svengoolie Stomp!

She did the Stomp! Svengoolie Stomp!

When the moon is full, the zombies romp!

Now everybody's doing the Svengoolie Stomp!

Now the Creature from the Black Lagoon will make you scream!

The Invisible Man, he's dancin' on the screen!

Boris and his wife are a creepy sight!

Svengoolie is 'Da Man every Saturday night!

He'll take you to the castle where the monsters stay!

Drac and his wives, they sleep all day!

He'll show you all the monsters that love to haunt!

And all of them are doin' the Svengoolie Stomp!

They did the Stomp! Svengoolie Stomp!

They did the Stomp! Svengoolie Stomp!

When the moon is full, the zombies romp!

Now everybody's doing the Svengoolie Stomp!

(*SvenGOOOLie!!*)

I said, Naaaaaah nah-nah-n-nah-nah n-nah-nah!

(*Naaaaaah nah-nah-n-nah-nah n-nah-nah!*)

I said, Hey-hey-hey, what I say?

(*I said, Hey-hey-hey, what I say?*)

I said, Hey, Svengoolie!

(*I said, Hey, Svengoolie!*)

When the moon is full, the zombies romp!

Now everybody's doing the Svengoolie Stomp!

They did the Stomp! Svengoolie Stomp!

They did the Stomp! Svengoolie Stomp!

When the moon is full, the mummies romp!

Now everybody's doing the Svengoolie Stomp!

They did the Stomp! Svengoolie Stomp!

They did the Stomp! Svengoolie Stomp!

When the moon is full, the mummies romp!

Now everybody's doing the Svengoolie Stomp!

They did the Stomp!
Sventoonie's Got Character!

The gang hosts a talent competition while watching 1977's The Night They Took Miss Beautiful starring Chuck Connors and Victoria Principal.

The song played during the closing credits is "Dripping Sweat" by Chase Baker.

## Characters Appearing

-Blob E. Blob

-Cinci Spandex

-Diane Rottaway

-Fratbrostein

-Kerwyn

-Ruddy Weaver

-Sventoonie

-Trevor Ground

-Vanessa Hellspring
Mighty Joe Young (1949) (Song)

This song is played during airings of Mighty Joe Young. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Beautiful Dreamer by Stephen Foster.

## Lyrics

You show-biz schemer, you're doing wrong.

Did you learn nothing by watching King Kong?

Sons of the Sagebrush show Joe the ropes.

He pulled a few strings to handle these dopes.

Max, you old schemer, your plan draws gapes.

Turn Planet Hollywood® to Planet of the Apes!

This animal's cracker, lets lion trot,

Although our schemer makes sure Joe's not shot.

This screaming schemer gets dropped like it's hot!

Joseph's redeemer, Jill keeps her word.

Tickles the ivories (No! Not on this herd!)

Tho they're a hit and Joe cannot fail,

He cannot pass GO, goes directly to jail

Multiple grapplers end up in pain.

Losers and boozers are making it rain.

Jill knows McCloud here, her heart has won,

But show-biz schemer, for Joe, it's not fun.

Quick reservation, a table for one.
The Devil's Rain (1975) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV airings of The Devil's Rain. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of When Irish Eyes Are Smiling by Chauncey Olcott and George Graff, Jr., set to music composed by Ernest Ball.

## Lyrics

When eyeless guys are prying, sure they hope that book you'll bring

Someone got a hot hereafter that brings fear to your offspring

When dad's been had by Corbis, he melts down at your homestead

Cuz when eyeless guys come prying, all the blood rushes to your head

When Mark embarks for Redstone, Corbis' bad taste proves no good

There's no goodies in their hoodies, and that ain't Red Riding Hood

His charm 'gainst harm proves useless. Gold turns cold-blooded. A snake

And when Shatner's gun was firing, they oozed three flavors of milkshake

When eyeless guys are driving, you should stay out of their way

And avoid that backseat driver or you'll soon call Triple-A

Beat eyeless guy in a "stair" down, but you won't have time to gloat

Cuz with eyeless guys complying, you know Corbis will get their goat
The Raven (1963)

A magician who has been turned into a raven turns to a former sorcerer for help in this film loosely based on the Edgar Allen Poe poem.

**Released:** 1963

**Director:** Roger Corman

**Writers:** Edgar Allen Poe (poem), Richard Matheson (screenplay)

**Stars:** Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff

**IMDB:** 6.5/10

**Sven Promo:** Official Site

## Song

Both of the songs that have played during the broadcast can be found here.

## Door Gag

"Hey Goolie, I learned some interesting facts."

"Please share them."

"Like about heredity. Did you know that if your parents didn't have any children, chances are you won't have any either.

Wait, one more. I found out this statistic. Did you know every time you breathe out a person dies?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, so why don't you use Listerine?"

## Final Gag

*You have just completed your recommended dosage of Svengoolie for today!*

## Broadcast History

Below are all of the indexed broadcasts of **The Raven (1963)**.

### Son of Svengoolie

March 28th, 1981

January 9th, 1982

April 27th, 1985

## Misc Notes

-In 2023, MeTV expanded Svengoolie's running time to 2.5 hours and The Raven (1963) was the first broadcast with the extra running time.

## Related Links

-Wikipedia entry

-Chris Hamby's blog entry for a broadcast
Indestructible Man (1956) (Song)

This song is still played during MeTV airings of Indestructible Man. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Frankie and Johnny (no one seems to be in agreement on who originally came up with this song).

## Lyrics

Squeamy and Joe were both traitors. (*Oh lordie, how they did trait.* **D'OH!!**)

Had Butcher paying his dues.

Got double-crossed by his lawyer

And ended up as headline news

That was the plan...

But, pretty soon, it went wrong.

Took his corpse from the gas chamber.

Doc's experiment would derail.

Zapped him, but it just revived him

Why? Why? Why, McHale?

An indestructible man

Was on the loose and quite strong.

Jason was chasin' the dancer

From who the jerk stole the map.

Butcher would give someone a lift now,

But then did in that Carney sap.

Hit the roadblock

And must've played "Beat the Clock."

Butcher saw Eva and stunned her.

Guessed who took the map, pretty much.

Next one for Joe, who tried escaping.

He's pretty spry for a guy with a crutch.

It's heads you lose.

Looks like Butcher won the toss.

Squeamy was squeamish and drinkin'

And offered the Butcher some "shots."

Said, "See ya later, elevator!"

Because we saw what Butcher plots.

To not wait anymore

Send him, express, to Main Floor.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) (Song)

This song used to be played during airings of Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Puttin' on the Ritz by Irving Berlin.

## Lyrics

If you're blue and you don't know what to do, don't sit in a bar and hit the flask

Puttin' on a mask

Guys in suits and girls who are cute will give you acute attention in which to bask

When you're puttin' on a mask

Why just get a mask that's cheap and crappy,

When there's masks that make those rugrats happy? (*stupid pappy!*)

Put your face in a place that's got the face replacements for which all the kids ask

Start puttin' on the mask
War of the Colossal Beast (1958) (Song)

As of this writing, this song is played during MeTV airings of War of the Colossal Beast. Featuring Svengoolie, Doug Graves and Anita X. Orcist, this song is based on On the Sunny Side of the Street by Jimmy McHugh and Dorothy Fields.

## Lyrics

Grab a loaf and load your truck

Leave his sister there to worry

This could be a feast

For the hungry Colossal Beast

Tossed a truck, you'd better duck

On your route you'd better hurry

Or your truck will meet

With the underside of his feet

He used to run really fast until hit with this blast

Now that's all in his past... this dumbo got jumbo

If he hadn't had a snack

Wouldn't do Macaulay Culkin

Now he's in this place

With the crummy side of his face

(*Blow that sax, Anita!*)

Grab some rope and you'll see that

You can't win that tug-o-war there

Looks like you've released

One big angry Colossal Beast

Notify the tower that

Manning's baggage handing's poor there

With a giant to defeat

This is not the time to retreat

Frequent flyers he'll harass and upset this poor lass

Til they give him the gas... now Manning is landing

Tho he ought to wear a mask (*He sings even as he himself is NOT wearing a mask. "Oh, that rule is just for the plebs."*)

He got his inoculation

Even back then, trouble starts

That's a funny time to play darts
Pharaoh's Curse (1957 — Wow. 1957 was a Boom Year for these kinds of movies.) (Song)

This song used to be played during airings of Pharaoh's Curse. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Stand by R.E.M..

## Lyrics

Sand in the place where you walk! (*In your shoes!*)

In every direction, burning through your Dr. Scholl's®!

Sand in the place where you work! (*In your shorts!*)

Sinking every place, like a big cat litter box!

Since it's everywhere, it might be a trap! *(Possibly a reference to this)*

No wonder all the mummies were into "wrap!" *(**Definitely** a reference to this)*

Your arms get sanded to a leathery hide!

Your teeth get gritty and could use fluoride!

There's sand in each place where you walk! (*In your shoes!*)

Goin' through the hazards that'll come back atcha!

There's sand in the place where you sleep! (*It's bad news!*)

Cuz yer guide's a cut-rate Cleopatra!

Yer face is blasted by the sand which is there!

Your head needs Grecian Formula® for its hair!

Some cosmetic surgery would unmask this killer!

After one more facelift, it's Phyllis Diller!

In sand in the place where you walk! (*In your shoes!*)

Gettin' in the way of the drink you're hopin' for!

Sand in the place where you work! (*In your shorts!*)

Hope it won't affect the garage door opener!

Sand in the place where you walk! (*In your shoes!*)

Reflecting the sun for that summer tan!

There's sand in the place where you sleep! (*It's bad news!*)

Thinkin' about puttin' in a call to the Orkin® Man!

Sand in the place where you are!

Sand in the place where you are!

It's deadlier than bullets, to be specific!

It gets in every place and hieroglyphic!

It's Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand!
The Man from Planet X (1951) (Song)

This song was played during airings of The Man from Planet X. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Charlie Brown by The Coasters.

## Lyrics

Fee-Fee fie-fie foe-foe fumm

Where did this egg-headed alien come from?

Planet X! Planet X!

With bad effects from Planet X!

His movie's a bore in every scene we see

"*Why is everybody always picking on me?*"

That's him on his knees in his helmet of glass.

He needs a filling station, cuz he's always outta gas!

From Planet X! Planet X!

They don't have necks on Planet X!

He's gonna get gas, just you wait and see!

"*Somebody buy a roll of TUMS® for me?*"

Who's the worst alien we've had?

Who's cheesy spacesuit looks so bad?

Who danced with Patty Duke's dad?

It's HIM! "*Who me?*"

He walks through the moors like he's almost dead.

What planet sent us Mr. Potato Head?

Planet X! Planet X!

Our show he wrecks from Planet X!

Our ratings will drop, just you wait and see!

"*Would you rather have back March Downey?*"
Dinosaurus! (1960) (Song)

This song was played during airings of Dinosaurus!. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of uhhhhhhhh... by p-pfffffuuuuhhh....... i d'no......

## Lyrics

Dino-

Saurus starts with this minor

And this chick who's in the diner

Dropped the wine to the floor

Dino-

Saurs were there to surprise her

When she saw their incisors

In the waters of the sea

It was late

When it would precipitate

And this inebriate was a shock to see

Dino-

Sauruses are revivin'

Never should have gone divin'

I thought this was Benny Hill

I know

The Neanderthal's jumpin'

And his heart must've been thumpin'

When he checked the merchandise

No one

Stays at home in cabanas

When the bronto eats bananas

But the big guy goes for meat!

This fool we know

Clouts Julio and stomps his pet

But maybe should regret someone blown away

Dino

As an uber is mustard

And this blowhard gets flustered

Taking custard facially
The Monolith Monsters (1957) (Song)

This song is played during airings of The Monolith Monsters. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of two songs: Frère Jacques (a traditional round) and Shortnin' Bread by James Whitcomb Riley.

## Lyrics

Where's the doctor? Call the doctor!

You need to or we're through!

Something's really bad news

People become statues!

That's just wrong! That's just wrong!

Call the doctor! Something shocked her!

Folks dead, too! What'd she do?

Water's where she dropped it,

Now they cannot stop it!

Now we're screwed! Now we're screwed!

Where's that doctor??? Call the doctor!!!

Find what fights meteorites!

Stony hand? Oh, nah-nah!

Don't use Porcelana®,

Just bring on silicon!

Monoliths are makin' life short'nin' short'nin'

Monoliths'll maybe just crush your head!

Monoliths are makin' life short'nin' short'nin'

Monoliths'll maybe just crush you dead!

High winds'll spill it! Mash up the den!

Rock'll make a mannequin outa Ben!

They find out why that stone grew,

Drizzle made it sizzle, and coffee too!

Monoliths are makin' life short'nin' short'nin'

Monoliths are makin' life short instead!

Monoliths are makin' life short'nin' short'nin'

Monoliths are filling their heads with dread!

Need help from Flanders! (No! Not Ned!)

Lights don't work, and the phone is dead!

If we can't stop how the rocks get cloned,

Monoliths will leave our whole town stoned!

Monoliths are makin' life short'nin' short'nin'

Monoliths will go where that slope has led!

Monoliths are makin' 'em start reportin'

Maybe it's about time the townfolk fled!
The Beast of Hollow Mountain (1956) (Song)

This song was played during airings of The Beast of Hollow Mountain. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this is a parody of El Jarabe Tapatío.

## Lyrics

It's half over, at least! We still haven't seen the beast!

I think that we've been fleeced, cuz we still haven't seen the beast!

They planned a wedding feast and hope that the rustling ceased!

But our boredom has increased, cuz we still haven't seen the beast!

Tho the title's Beast of Hollow Mountain,

There has been no beast if you've been countin'!

There's been tension and jealousy mountin',

But we still haven't seen any beast!

Tho the title's Beast of Hollow Mountain,

There has been no beast if you've been countin'!

There's been tension and jealousy mountin',

But we still haven't seen any beast!

We've seen this little punk, and his daddy who's a drunk!

Don't have their budget shrunk, cuz without a beast, we'd be sunk!

Don't change the channel yet! The beast'll show up, I bet!

I'm trying not to sweat! Hey Doug, just play your trumpet!

(*okay*)

In the past we've had C.H.U.D.s under the ground, we've had killer Stuff in a cup!

We've seen Geena Davis' background! In our movies, at least the showed up!

We haven't seen the beast! (I think someone's palm was greased!)

Why was this film released if they're not gunna show the beast?

We've seen ads for a lawyer you could hire,

And the guy who sells carpets for Empire!

He who ordered this movie, we should fire

CUZ WE STILL HAVEN'T SEEN ANY BEAST!!!!!
The Invisible Man (1933)

Based on H.G. Wells' novel, about a mysterious doctor who discovers a serum that makes him invisible and then slowly drives him to commit acts of terror.

**Released:** 1933

**Director:** James Whale

**Writers:** H.G. Wells (novel), R.C. Sherriff (screenplay), Preston Sturges (contributing writer)

**Stars:** Claude Raines, Gloria Stuart, William Harrigan

**IMDB:** 7.6/10

**Sven Promo:** Official Site

## Song

The song normally played during the broadcast can be found here.

## Final Gag

A vote for the Invisible Man is a mart one because he is truly the CLEAR choice!

## Broadcast History

Below are all of the indexed broadcasts of **The Invisible Man (1933)**.

### Svengoolie on Me-TV

June 25th, 2011 (Me-TV run premiere)

May 18th, 2013 - Blog post

March 29th, 2014 - Blog post

July 11th, 2015 - Blog Post

March 26th, 2016 - Blog post

November 2nd, 2019 - Blog post (some new bumpers, song. 2019 copyright)

February 13th, 2012 - Blog post

January 14th, 2023 - Blog post (Additional material added to 2019 version that extends to 2.5 hours)

### Son of Svengoolie

August 4th, 1979

October 25th, 1980

October 1st, 1983

## Misc Notes

-In 2023, MeTV expanded Svengoolie's running time to 2.5 hours, which should result in additional new bumpers or an entirely new broadcast of this movie.
Blood of Dracula (1957) (Song)

This song is still being played during MeTV airings of Blood of Dracula. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of I Want a Girl by Harry Von Tilzer and William Dillon.

## Lyrics

She needs a girl just like the girl dropped off by severe cold dad.

A girl who smokes and punished her folks by driving really bad.

A girl whose classmates just get in her way

They go through her stuff like TSA.

So, she'll be perfect as a subject, a disturbed undergrad.

She has a plan to control Nancy and release her rage.

Knows what you'll get with an amulet from back in Dracula's age.

Miss Branding knew that she had the right kid

When Nancy could have used an antacid

She'll hypnotize and utilize the anger of teen age.

At a late hour she'll use her power and a command she sends.

She'll target Nola who's guzzling cola with her moron friends.

She treated Nancy bad, so she must go.

It's bad enough she danced with My Pillow

So, she used the ire of a vampire so Nola's shelf-life ends.

She wants a guy who must imply that graveyard dates are wrong.

She'll really dig 'til Nancy flips her wig and changes come along.

She then meets singer Tab, she's unimpressed.

In orthodontia, she should invest.

But he shouldn't stick with a toothy chick who really hates his song!
Svengoolie’s Halloween BOOnanza

Svengoolie’s Halloween BOOnanza was a MeTV promotion for Svengoolie during the month of October 2022.

A light documentary named Svengoolie Uncrypted was premiered on October 1st, 2022.

October saw the MeTV Svengoolie broadcast premiere of Trilogy of Terror, a film the show had struggled to get the broadcasting rights to for 3 years.

Also part of the promotion was the return of Sventoonie for season 2 with a special one-hour season premiere.

MeTV also played Halloween themed episodes of shows on Sunday's "Block Party" marathon during the month.

## Related Links

-'Svengoolie' horror host Rich Koz gets a Halloween tribute (AP news article on promotion)

1. ↑ https://news.yahoo.com/svengoolie-horror-host-rich-koz-203728500.html
The Gorgon (1964) (Song)

This song is played during airings of The Gorgon. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of the Toreador March by Georges Bizet.

## Lyrics

Lord, he ignored her, tho she's wearing less;

But now he hangs 'round, and the rug's a mess.

Soon the mob meets them, antagonized,

Cuz she's been Gorgonized!

To the doc they bring her. If you linger,

You'll get The Finger!

Lore says the Gorgon just comes out at night.

Can you blame her? Her hair's a fright.

Let the locals testify and lie

Then Dad starts to petrify!

While Carla wants him to leave her alone,

Papa's a rolling stone!
House of Frankenstein (1944) (Song)

This song is played during airings of House of Frankenstein. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Auld Lang Syne.

## Lyrics

Should auld acquaintance be rubbed out

Since you left someone behind

Should sun so hot leave bones to rot

While you search for Frankenstein

This bold man's crime right here

Had left him serving time

Where guards he'd stalk to get some chalk

To sketch plans like Frankenstein

Are Transylvanians hot-to-trot

When they give a girl a ring

Would he just go to sip Type O

When he takes it on the wing

For cold Frankenstein, I hear

He'll need a strong turbine

To get recharged, when in he barged

And we still hear Talbot whine

Would Larry be again hairy

While Niemann repays his debts

Though Daniel'd go to play hero

The cold shoulder he still gets

Behold his twisted spine in fear

To which she can't be blind

If so, he'd take her out for "stake"

At the House of Frankenstein
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) (Song)

This song was played during Plan 9 from Outer Space. It features Svengoolie, Doug Graves and a cameo appearance from a Frankenstein's Flesh Golem puppet. It is a parody of "The Sign" by Ace of Base.

## Lyrics

(*why???*)

Why did he make this? You could hardly take the side of poor Ed Wood!

How could a hubcap inspire a fear in you?

(*why???*)

Why did they bother? It's like junk made for TV!

But it's worse, you'll see!

Cuz I saw Plan 9, and it opened up my eyes!

I saw Plan 9!

Who was that fellah who tried to pass for Bela?

I saw Plan 9, where Vampira had no lines!

I saw Plan 9!

Someone had to help Tor up to get out of his grave, cuz he's too fat!

But there's stuff worse than that!!!

Shot on a budget with props from the clearance aisle at RadioShack!

How could those actors knock those tombstones down?

And that space station, where we see those shadows pass!

It ain't Close Encounters!

I saw Plan 9! It looks better if you're blind!

And I am sure that it won't offend ya, glad it's not Glen or Glenda!

I saw Plan 9, and I knew it should be mine!

I got Plan 9!

Someone had to dig it up to bring into the light where Wood went wrong!

(*I saw Plan 9 — I saw Plan 9-e-yine*)

I saw Plan 9!

(*I saw Plan 9 — I saw Plan 9-e-yine*)

(*I saw Plan 9 — I saw Plan 9*)

I saw Plan 9!

And I show it cuz we can't get Frankenstein!
Tingler, The (1959) (Song)

This song was played during airings of The Tingler. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of I Feel Fine by The Beatles.

There *is* another version of the Tingler Song, but I don't know the original song it's based on, and the audio quality is too poor to get a complete transcription. But I believe this is the more recent version, so if it shows up on MeTV again, I'll see if I can get the words I'm missing.

## Lyrics

The lady's not able to speak

She can't scream, so she fell down weak when he bled, so

Then comes the Tingler that crushes her spine

The lady lost her mind, it seems

She saw this Frankenstein, but screams won't let go

Then comes the Tingler that crushes her spine

It's so sad that she's mean to that girl

The Big Bad, in a cage like a squirrel

Vincent's baby lies 'bout flings, y'no

He cries because it stings, y'no he spits 'em

Then comes the Tingler, on his fear it dines

His lady crossed the line, the witch

Surprised him with the old drink switch, cuz she said no

So he shot blanks at her and X-rayed her behind

It's so sad, there's no one she could trust

It's too bad he water's full of rust

She seems crazy seeing things, y'no

An axe, at her, it flings; y'no her head rose

Thanks to the Tingler that crushes her spine

Because the Tingler finds fear and it dines
The Return of the Vampire (1943) (Song)

As of this writing, this song is still played during MeTV airings of The Return of the Vampire. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of MacNamara's Band by Shamus O'Connor (music) and John J. Stamford (lyrics).

## Lyrics

Oh, his name is Armand Tesla and he's here to lend a hand

He wrote the book on vampires that could help them understand

They'll bring a stake or spike to drive to make sure he is dead

It's no reflection on him when it seems he lost his head

Oh, the warnings rang, and the bombs went bang, and the graveyard is a mess

The workers found the body that's a shish kebab, I guess

The caretaker airhead withdrew the stake and soon there's an attack

You'd better warn Andreas that ol' Armand Tesla's back

Oh, his old pal is Andreas, who he cursed with hairyness

He looks like he's Chewbacca, if he worked for UPS

Old Saunders wrote a manuscript because he knew the score

But it's not there, there's just some hair. Someone unzipped his drawers

Tesla's there to make Nikki aware that he'll control her mind

And Lady Jane sees this lamebrain has on a ring he'd find

Andreas would slay us when we tried to stop him, he left us in the lurch

And Tesla's playing bingo down at St. Mathias Church

(*Blow that horn, Doug!*)

Oh, he's really Armand Tesla, but says Bruckner is his name

To get revenge on Saunders through his granddaughter's his game

She hears the voice and lays awake all night until it's late

Or is she restless just cuz her My Pillow® ain't so great?

Oh, the door's open and the fog rolls in and how oddly she'll behave

Why she's attracted to John's neck is not his aftershave

Is Nikki a sickie who'd bite in the night at the vampire's command?

And who's aware we need some Nair™ for someone's hairy hand?
2-向附近的守林人询问一番

2-向附近的守林人询问一番。

虽然小屋的处地已经算是偏僻，但周边还是零落的住了一两个守林人，你向他们询问了一下逝去的守林人近期是否有一些奇怪的举动，而守林人们似乎也因为许久没见到陌生人了，所以意外的很愿意与你聊天。

"喔！你说雅黛尔啊！她人倒是非常好，做事也非常认真。就是实在是有点一丝不苟啦，你也知道的，守林人无法离开魔法协会，甚至连森林都很少出去。我们加入进来肯定是做好了牺牲自由的准备，但即便如此大家之间也多少会有些娱乐活动，可她似乎除了工作需要就很少和其他守林人来往，总是一个人独来独往的在森林散步或者坐在附近发呆，唯一和她比较亲近的大概也就只有嘉里森了吧。”

“是啊是啊！”另一位守林人插嘴道，“说实话我其实有点怕她，因为她好像不怎么爱说话之类的，但最近她似乎有点奇怪，之前出去过一次之后回来就慌慌张张的，而且还总是把自己关在家里，也不怎么出去办事了。然后没几天就听说她去世了...”

“唉，她的去世最难过的就是嘉里森了...其实我们都看出来了，嘉里森他对雅黛尔有些好得过头了，雅黛尔去世前几天我还看到嘉里森在布置什么准备给雅黛尔一个惊喜......谁知道事情发生得这么突然呢。”

当你询问他们是否听雅黛尔提起过家人时，他们都摇摇头：“雅黛尔本来就很少跟我们交流，她大部分时间都用来研究植物了，她的院子里种的很多植物都是她用鸟四处收集来的种子，确实很漂亮...可惜现在已经全部被藤蔓枝叶覆盖了。说起来这到是挺奇怪，虽然我们这里确实有些潮湿，可这些藤蔓的生长速度也有点太快了...可能是她在院子里用过什么可以促进生长的药吧？”

其中一个守林人突然“啊”了一声，“我想起来了，确实有一次她提到过家里人...不，也不算，她只是聊天的时候提起来和家里人参加过村子里的什么节日，那个节日似乎是矮人国特有的，也许她住在矮人国？”

（请选择以下选项以完成剧情）

查看其他选项

结束探索
海族

简介
--

海族
--

海族，顾名思义，就是生活在海洋里的种族，包括但不限于鲛人。海族在海中的形态大小难以计算，但最低不低于1m。他们起初生活在与世隔绝的深海，大洪水后将王都迁至近海海域，百年前加入了乌特瑞尔联邦。

海族只拥有类似人类的身体躯干，其余“手脚”都是与自己种族相关联的特征，皮肤也基本都布满了鳞片。他们成年的年龄对于人类而言较晚，年龄极限一般在150岁左右。海族本身并不能在陆地上行走，但可以短暂登陆。此外，也有一种叫做斯库姆的魔法可以帮助他们离开海洋，代价则是从五感（听觉、嗅觉、视觉、触觉、味觉）/声音中抽出一个感观做为基石，使自己能够变为人类的模样。但这个魔法并不是永恒的，只要他们把自己泡入水中就又会变回原样。目前该魔法已经被海族们当作必学魔法。但值得注意的是，如果离开海水一定时间依旧还是会因脱水产生不适甚至死亡，脱离海水最多能够存活一天。所以如果想在陆地旅行，海族们需要常备海水。许多与时俱进的旅馆都设有专门的海水房提供给海族休息。

海族的繁殖方式为胎生/卵胎生，繁殖过程更类似于人类。 他们在海中几乎战无不胜，极快的游泳速度和力量令陆地生物闻风丧胆。

*\*海族身体颜色不做要求，但禁止凭空捏造生物本体，本体的生物原型请务必有迹可循。过分魔改按照幻兽种打回。*

## 分布国家/地区

大部分海族生活在乌特瑞尔联盟的近海海域，拥有完全的自治权。另一部分海族生活在约尔兰帝国近海。

## 种间关系

相较于陆地生物而言，海族并不需要太多的脑力活动就可以满足生存的需要，他们会依靠自己的原始欲望去做自己想做的事。再加上雌性海族天生拥有蛊惑人心的能力，因此海族也时常被别的智慧种族妖魔化，有传闻说他们吃人或健忘，甚至智商低于史莱姆。毕竟他们与精灵的神秘并驾齐驱，甚至更胜一筹：毕竟精灵的家乡还有处可寻，可海族的全貌，至今也没有陆上的生物真正看全过。

## 能力数值参考图

*浅灰色部分——海族在海中的能力数值；*

*深灰色部分——海族脱离海水后的能力数值。*
Kingdom of the Spiders (1977) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV airings of Kingdom of the Spiders. Featuring Svengoolie, Doug Graves and Anita X. Orcist, this song is a parody of The Tiger Rag (aka: Hold That Tiger) by The Original Dixieland Jazz Band with lyrics by Harry De Costa.

## Lyrics

Behold that spider

That caused what died there

Rack must solve it

By checking cow spit

Learn about spiders

From this outsider

Diane's tryin'

But she's doomed to use the Men's Room

While this looker

Meets T.J. Hooker

Who knew that that garage guy might

Find a specimen

Inside a Michelin

And learn that spiders bite

Hold that spider

Shatner eyed her

There's a loose lid

On that arachnid

'Long came a spider

While the towel dried her

Here's what no one ignores:

Who wants spiders in their drawers??? 😱

Woody's yearnin'

For spider burnin'

But finds it's just bad luck

Not grilled forever, tho

That things a webber

In a tarantula truck

(*Blow it again, Anita*)

Hold that spider

Tho it might bite her

Wish William Shatner

Had tried to flatten her

After fearing

That power "steer"ing

No one quibbles

Spider nibbles are worse than tribbles

Bad decidin'

That pesticidin'

Will save each citizen and cow

They should get wise

That ain't no Enterprise

Beam down that yo-yo yeoman, now
Time Walker (1982) (Song)

As of this writing, this song is still played during MeTV airings of Time Walker. Featuring Svengoolie, Doug Graves and Anita X. Orcist, this song is based on Wabash Cannonball.

## Lyrics

From a pyramid in Egypt to a California school

There's a mummy that got over radiated by this fool.

In a screening of its x-rays there's something he can't recall,

So he snatches from a hidden cache each ancient crystal ball.

The dingbats start to mingle cuz the boss chose to ignore

When they go to view the mummy, it isn't there no more.

When a jeweler calls this worthless, Sharpe doesn't care at all.

Like QVC, he'll charge a fee for each glowing crystal ball.

There's fungus here among us and soon they'll understand

That a smidge upon your digit might give you Athlete's Hand.

This peepin' creep is in a heap of trouble with this doll,

But they'll reconvene with hot cuisine and that glowing crystal ball.

Just listen for the baby while your boyfriend hopes to score

While a mummy with night vision has arisen by your door.

Just tell your love a grab-and-shove has made you take a fall

You've got a hard case of heartburn from that glowing crystal ball.

(*Blow dat dere sax*)

From the crime scene to police HQ they grill this clueless dude

In the lab, up from Ground Zero, a-comes the bubblin' crude.

Some x-rays will create bad fate, too late he makes the call.

She's the Batman villain Two-Face from the glowing crystal ball.

That ball does more than tingle. "I bet that had to sting!"

As the mummy's playing skee-ball with that Star Trek communicator thing.

Too much dancing and the mummy's clothesline will make you hit the wall.

In case you forgot that crystal's not a glowing disco ball!
Strait-Jacket (1964) (Song)

This song used to be played during airings of Strait-Jacket. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of the Bunny Hop by Ray Anthony.

## Lyrics

Hubby might ignore her

She is put out

Do the Honey Chop

Chop-Chop-Chop

Using that solution

Led to an institution

Do the Honey Chop

Chop-Chop-Chop

Let's all sit there, stunned

At what mother's done

Do the Honey Chop

Chop-Chop-Chop

Put the knife tip forward

Cut heads out

Do the Honey Chop

Chop-Chop-Chop

Don't you lose your head

You'll find it in bed

Do the Honey Chop

Chop-Chop-Chop

Butchering may sicken

That's no rubber chicken

What you feed the pigs?

Slop-Slop-Slop

Doc knows all you're fearing

Better hide your earrings

Do the Honey Chop

Chop-Chop-Chop

Even your M.D.

Could wind up R.I.P.

Due to Lucy's chop

Chop-Chop-Chop

You haven't lost your arm

Even on the farm

Do the Honey Chop

Chop-Chop-Chop

Chop-Chop-Chop

CHOP!!!-CHOP!!!-CHOP!!!
The Kiss of the Vampire (1963)

When car trouble strands a honeymooning couple in a small Southern European village, an aristocratic family in the area reaches out to help them with sinister consequences.

**Released:** 1963

**Director:** Don Sharp

**Writer:** Anthony Hinds (screenplay by)

**Stars:** Clifford Evans, Edward de Souza, Noel Willman

**IMDB:** 6.3/10

**Sven Promo:** Official Site

## Song

The songs that normally plays during the broadcast can be found here.

## Final Gag

Vampires always stay so thin because when they're hungry they just go for a quick bite!

## Broadcast History

Below are all of the indexed broadcasts of Kiss of the Vampire (1963).

### Svengoolie on Me-TV

October 26th, 2013 - Blog post (Me-TV run premiere)

August 1st, 2015 - Blog post

January 21st, 2023 - Blog post (2013 version with additional clips)
The Boy Who Cried Werewolf (1973) (Song)

This song was played during airings of The Boy Who Cried Werewolf. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of *two* songs: Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon and Beer Barrel Polka by Jaromír Vejvoda.

## Lyrics

I saw a werewolf on Cermak Road wearin' a flannel shirt.

Between Cicero and North Riverside was his placement.

When the full moon's bright, he's diggin' in the dirt at night

Cuz he's raisin' mushrooms in his basement.

AH-wOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Werewolves of Berwyn!

AH-wOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AH-wOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Werewolves of Berwyn! "You try it!"

(*audience effs it up.*)

If a wolf is howlin' low just outside your bungalow,

Don't let him in, even if he makes your bed!

You can always tell the Berwyn breed cuz that's the only werewolf

Wearin' a babushka on its head.

AH-wOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Werewolves of Berwyn! (you try it)

(*audience effs it up. EXTRA BADLY!*)

AH-wOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Werewolves of Berwyn!

AH-wOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

...where they can

Roll out the victims

Till they can't tell what's the top.

Pull out your victim

Before your set's in the shop.

Just why he looks like

A Shih Tsu dog isn't clear,

But now's the time to roll the victims

Cuz the gangrene's here!
Zallman T. Tombstone

Zallman T. Tombstone is a disembodied floating skull with a smart mouth and a voice modeled after Bill Saluga's Ray J. Johnson Jr. character.

## Appearances

Due to Tombstone being a relatively rare occurrence these days, a listing of their appearances on broadcasts is an attainable goal. Below are the episodes with his appearances indexed so far.

McCloud Meets Dracula (1977)

Duel (1971) - Classic clip shown from the McCloud Meets Dracula (1977) broadcast as well as another from Sventennial: 100 Shows, 1995-1997 (1997)

Sventennial: 100 Shows, 1995-1997 (1997)
Abbott and Costello Go to Mars (1953) (Song)

This song was played during airings of Abbott and Costello Go to Mars (*Venus, really*). This song features Svengoolie and Doug Graves and is a parody of "Dancing in the Moonlight" by Sherman Kelly.

## Lyrics

We get into an awful fight

After the moon got him wedged tight

Instead of wandering towards the light

We shooda been cancelling the moon flight

Everybody here's a selenite

We can't park our spaceship right

So, they towed us from our landing sight

Shooda thought about cancelling the moon flight

Cancelling the moon flight

Everybody's sick of caburite

It didn't hold his booty tight

So, we shooda been cancelling the moon flight

Brought a gun, we're eating light

You can't land, so stay upright

Add a stupid helper's oversight

And you'd think about cancelling the moon flight

Cancelling the moon flight

Then there'd be no flag to find tonight

Since we found the natives impolite

Shooda thought of cancelling the moon flight

Can't you say gesundheit?

Everybody's sure this boy ain't right

And when he lost one-half his sight

Shooda thought about cancelling the moon flight
The Bat (1959) (Song)

This was the song played during The Bat. The song features Svengoolie and Doug Graves (and a parking lot full of dancing people). This song is a parody of "Macarena" by Los del Río.

## Lyrics

There's an actress, her name is Agnes Moorehead

She met The Bat, whose face is all forehead!

No maybes,

Like babies,

They're cryin' when he tries to give 'em rabies!

In the 60s, she made good,

Got a job calling Dick York "Durwood"!

Hey Agnes Moorehead, don't go to the door-a

She'll be the mom that Samantha can't ignore-a

In this old film, she's Cornelia van Gorder

Now, she's Endora!

Hey Agnes Moorehead, your movies are a bore-a

Now you're a witch that the people all adore-a

She could have starred in "Tora! Tora! Tora!"

But now she's Endora!

Come and find Vincent Price, who was the doctor

He met Agnes when a murder had shocked her

He has talents

Feeds rodents *(bats are not rodents!)*

And he gives "shots" to his patients

He's Vincent Price in this film with Agnes Moorehead

And, in the 60s you can see where his career led

Gave up The Bat just to battle Batman, instead

Now he is Egghead!

**DOUG**

Hey, stupid Sven, you're a dummy for believin'

Doing this song wouldn't leave musicians grievin'

This stupid song is enough to start us heavin'

So, we are leavin'!

**SVEN**

Don't go away! They'll put Channel 44 on!

I should have put a song we did before on!

If you leave now when I've got something poor on

I'll be a moron!
Werewolf of Washington (1973) (Song)

This song is played during broadcasts of Werewolf of Washington (1973) and has also been played during The Curse of the Werewolf (1961). It is apparently a parody of "I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow" from the movie O Brother, Where Art Thou?. It features Svengoolie and Doug Graves.

## Lyrics

*With constant hair growth all through his face*

*I am a wolfman of constant hair growth*

*I've seen stubble every place*

*Bitten by a wolf I was unlucky*

*My face looks like it needs a shave*

*(His face looks like it needs a shave)*

*For four more years this land's in trouble*

*If pentagrams hand us defeat*

*They won't let me ride inside her auto*

*Cause I might shed upon the seat*

(*He just might shed upon the seat)*

*You cannot spare me down in some alley*

*When a full moon reveals the truth*

*This administration, like Honest Abe,*

*Might have some trouble with a booth*

(*I think he means that John Wilkes Booth)*

*Maybe in the restroom I just get stranger*

*I just keep stalling and get flushed deep*

*Ten items or less fill up my cart, now*

*Unless I take a Quantum Leap*

(*He just might take a Quantum Leap)*

## Thanks

Lyrics for the original song transcribed by BronyNumber4096 on Youtube.
Mr. Sardonicus (1961) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV airings of Mr. Sardonicus. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of "Smiles" by Jimmy Dorsey.

## Lyrics

There are smiles that make you nauseous

Travel miles to learn the truth

Who's so vile to disinter a dead man

Might end up a little long of tooth

No one smiles at treatments so demeaning

Of that guy with an eye on every task

From that smile that took the life of one wife

That's the smile hidden by that mask

He defiles the help with leeches

While with peaches he sucks down some brews

And he pried the coffin with the ticket

Though it won, it really made him lose

Through his trials conceived by William Castle

Come the hassles of the baron's loss

But what riles and fills his heart with strychnine

Is he has so much more to floss
守林人

为魔法协会信息情报饲养鸟的人被称为守林人，他们的眼睛被魔法水晶所替换，取而代之的视力来自他们饲养的鸟的双眼。他们的工作大部分时候是使用鸟类飞出魔法协会之外的世界去收集各种各样对协会有用的情报，他们的双眼是魔法协会最重要的一个环节，但也最不起眼。

每一个守林人都是主动交出视力获取能力的，他们的余生必须与他的鸟儿们形影不离，也因为他们知道的信息很多，而被规定终生不能离开魔法协会。守林人大都是魔法天赋较低的平民，他们注定无法学习高级的魔法，只能以这种方式让自己迅速掌握这种极高难度的精神魔法，以此才能留在魔法协会。但魔法水晶对人体的伤害非常大，所以守林人的寿命也会比原本还要短许多，正因为这种弊端，守林人的数量也在日渐减少。

情报站的工作除了定期的汇报与资料的整理之外，还有鸟类的饲养，每一只鸟都是守林人的眼睛，但不会因为鸟的死亡而受损。寂静的森林里零零散散的住着守林人，他们大部分一辈子都无法离开这片森林去魔法协会的其他地方，即使这份工作枯燥又孤独，但好在偶尔会有协会的人来回收情报，也好在他们能看到很远很远的地方。

穿戴
--

（可以在不改变花纹的前提下魔改）

可以作为日常着装穿戴，披风拆开之后的长度可以作为被子，因为有魔法的加持，无论多冷的天气都能起到保持温暖的作用。但因为守林人的工作内容，披风很难保持干净。

身上的花纹是魔法师的工艺，非常体贴的为守林人绣上了他们标志性的眼睛与羽毛。

### 【胸针】

胸针上的羽毛是可以替换成任意羽毛的。胸针的材质是铁器，所以使用的时间久了，就会慢慢生锈。
Godzilla: King of the Monsters! (1956)

Awakened by nuclear weapons testing, a 400 foot mutated dinosaur inexplicably attacks the only country actually attacked with said nuclear weapons.

**Released:** 1956

**Directors:** Ishiro Honda, Terry O. Moore

**Writers:** Shigeru Kayama (novel), Takeo Murata(screen play), Ishirô Honda(screen play)

**Stars:** Raymond Burr, Takashi Shimura, Momoko Kôchi

**IMDB:** 6.3/10

**Sven Promo:** Official Site

## Song

The songs that normally plays during the broadcast can be found here.

## Final Gag

Godzilla may have ruined Tokyo but Svengoolie just ruined the last 2 hours!

## Broadcast History

Below are all of the indexed broadcasts of **Godzilla: King of the Monsters! (1956)**.

### Svengoolie

February 4th, 2017 - Blog post (Me-TV run premiere)

January 6th, 2018 - Blog post

January 28th, 2023 - Blog post (2.5 hour broadcast of 2017 episode with additional clips)

## Related Links

-Wikipedia entry

-Chris Hamby's blog entry for a broadcast
Red Planet Mars (1952) (Song)

This song used to be played during airings of Red Planet Mars. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Chantilly Lace by J. P. Richardson.

## Lyrics

"Hello, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTHLINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Yeah, this is the Main Martian speaking! Who's on the line here from Earth?

"Do we WHAT???? Are we WHAT?????????????????????????

"Oh, Earthlings! You know where I hike!"

Oh, Red Planet Mars, where they don't drive cars

And we got canals in the ground

We control the heat and got a ringside seat

To watch your world go 'round

Ain't nuthin' from the world where your message hurled

We got it from your guy who tried to send us pi

We'll pick it up, I swear, from down at Bakers Square

So, give it up! Oh baby, just take a hike!

"What's that Earthling? What's that name?

"Peter Graves? Any relation to Doug Graves?

"Give you advice? On how to melt your ice???

"Oh, Earthlings! I'm not Dr. Ruth!"Sorry for the nightmare fuel picture you just saw

It's Red Planet Mars, where they don't drive cars

And we got canals in the ground

We control our heat and got a ringside seat (*whooooa!*)

To watch your world go 'round-round-round

Ain't nobody on Earth with much real worth

We don't need Ronald Reagan or Carl Sagan

Send Demi Moore! She's what we're looking for

But NOT ROSEANNE!!!Again, apologies for the picture that, no doubt, activated your puke reflex Oh, man! She's not what we like!

"What's that, Earthling? 'Have we beh—' No!

Have we been talking to Russia? A place that— that's tryin' ta crush ya?

But Earthlings! We don't call NO Commies, Mommy!

Oh, Earthlings! You know who we like!"

On Red Planet Mars, where we don't drive cars

And we got canals in the ground

It's the USA that we like today

Cuz we've watched you come around

There's something that you've got that we think is hot

It's where we all get paid! You call it "Foreign Aid"!

That's why we called you guys instead of selling street wise

We want your cash! Oh, baby, that's what we like!
Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988) (Song)

This song used to be played during airings of Hell Comes to Frogtown. Featuring Doug Graves and Rich Koz playing some yay-hoo called "Tom." This song is a parody of Life Goes On (ob-la-di) by The Beatles.

## Lyrics

There's no doubt that Sven's locked out and Tom's in charge

I'll just run the show, so please stay calm

What we've got's a movie that's got mutant frogs

And Roddy Piper wears a diaper that's a bomb

It's on the— It's on the—

On the show. Hah!

Ha-ha-ha-ha... Let's move on

It's on the— It's on the—

It's on the air!

Ha-ha-ha-ha... Let's move on (*wow... I bet you won't be dissin'* Sven's *singing anymore, eh Doug?*)

Piper's got the speedo with an LED

That the nurse controls with her earring

If he tries to run away, she pulls her ear

Just like Carol Burnett, and he begins to sing

About the— About the—

About the— Hah!

Ha-ha-ha-ha... Let's move on

About the— About the—

About the— Hah!

Ha-ha-ha-ha... Let's move on

With a couple of beers, he'll forget that folks are dyin'

Let me say, I'd sooner face those frogs than be opposite Conan O'Brien

HA-HA-HA-HA

Hoppy ever after in this Frogtown place

Let's hope Piper learns to use his eyes

And appreciate the nurse, cuz it'd be worse

To have a blind date that, for dinner, orders flies

She's on the— She's on the—

On the bar. Hah!

Ha-ha-ha-ha... Let's move on

Piper's swell! He does well!

Looks like hell! HAH!!!

Ha-ha-ha-ha... Let's move on

And if you want some fun,

Just order the frog's legs
House on Haunted Hill (1959)

A millionaire offers $10,000 to five people who agree to be locked in a large, spooky, rented house overnight with him and his wife.

**Released:** 1959

**Director:** William Castle

**Writers:** Robb White

**Stars:** Vincent Price, Carol Ohmart, Richard Long

**IMDB:** 6.8/10

**Sven Promo:** Official Site

## Song

The song that is played during the broadcast can be found here.

## Broadcast History

Below are all of the indexed broadcasts of **House on Haunted Hill (1959)**.

### Svengoolie on Me-TV

October 17th, 1998

April 2nd, 2011

August 14th, 2021 (Me-TV run premiere) - Blog post

May 28th, 2022 - Blog post

November 25th, 2023 - Blog post

## Related Links

-Wikipedia entry

-Chris Hamby's blog entry for a broadcast
The Giant Claw (1957) (Song)

This song is played during airings of The Giant Claw. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of two songs: Turkey in the Straw (traditional American folk song) and the Chicken Dance by Werner Thomas.

## Lyrics

As I was soaring through the sky

This big, bad birdy shadow passed me by

These galoots dispute my report of what I'd seen

Cuz it won't show up on their radar screen

Nerves got raw. The major blew his stack

Cuz one plane did not come back

They won't believe what I say I saw

'Til they're gapin' at the graspin' of the Giant Claw

So, we head back to New York

With a pilot who's a dork

When that shady UFO nearby is flyin'

It invaded our airspace

And the pilot smashed his face

Guess she didn't see the "FASTEN SEAT BELT" sign

When the UFO did harm

We crash-landed on a farm

Where the owner sounded like he came from France

Her concern that they should live

Made him think that he should give

That chick a chance!

The thing returned to plague the farmer

Mitch slaps Pierre to bring him back

He claims, if seen, it means he'll die soon

Perhaps from too much apple jack

Finally, they see the bird

And begin to spread the word

As there're sightings everywhere, from North to South

It's attacking every jet

And this goofy marionette

Makes the parachutist feel "down in the mouth"

It's immune to each attack

Water off a duckie's back

Antimatter seems to matter in their plan

Hard to take it seriously

We just wish that it could be

More like Rodan!