Yoda

Old, he is.

Yod (Mmm, pizza rolls)

**Yoda** was a Jedi of an unknown species born in 896 BBY. He went into self exile on Dagobah after losing to Darth Sidious and losing his lightsaber. He was a Grandmaster of the Jedi Order. He has trained many Jedi such as Luke Skywalker and Mace Windu. He was one of the few survivors of Order 66. He has said many memorable quotes such as ”Do or do not, There is no try." He was also known for saying everything backwards. He believed that there was another. He was good friends, and a possible relative of Yobama and Yod. He is also well known for having a ketamine addiction.

## Deaths

-In the canon universe, Yoda died of old age.

-In the video "[ASMR] Yoda accidentally swallows his juul and dies", Yoda died because he swallowed a juul he bought at 711 and imploded.

-In "[ASMR] Yoda plays club penguin when it shuts down" Yoda ends his life by stabbing himself with his own lightsaber beczuse Club Penguin, Yoda's favorite game, shuts dow. however, in "[ASMR] Yoda overdoses on the 18 tons of ketamine he bought from investing in Club Penguin stocks", the got revived because club penguin is back. but later died because he took 18 tons of ketamine at once.

-in "[ASMR] Yoda Signs His Divorce Papers", Yoda is killed off-screen by a lightsaber.

-in "[ASMR] Yoda Robs The Ketamine Factory To Fuel his addiction", Yoda gets brutally killed by Mike Wazowski, who has an anime moveset.

## Wars

Yoda has fought in the clone wars, of course. But there is something much cooler.

From 2019/09/19 until 2019/09/23, JakeMac, the creator of Yoda's ASMR-video's, posted a 5-episode long storyarc where Yoda goes to Vietnam. He gets send there by Shaggy, even thought Yoda doesn't want to die for his country. He is board military transport 420. Together with Kermit, Shaggy and Scooby, the pillot, they fly with a Boeing to Vietnam. But they got an engine failure inthe middle of a storm and crash into the Pacific. Yoda and Kermit survive because Kermit dragged them on a wing of the Boeing. Shaggy and Scoobs are dead. They decide to sleep until day breaks. When day breaks, they realise that they don't have food. Kermit decides to play a song on his guitar. But he gets interrupted as Anakin Skywalker comes to pick them up with his helicopter. Anakin decides to bring them to vietnam. Yoda tells the story of how he became a Registered Sex Offender, but suddenly, te heli gets shot!! The heli crashes in Vietnam. Yoda complains to JakeMac and sais to just kill him off. But suddenly he realises that both Anni and Kermit are Nowhere to be seen. He dexides to head to the jungle. Yoda finds a cave. "Explore I must" he said. and he went into the cave. He sees that it is actually a stronghold with a shit load of ketamine. Then he realises that the Vietnamese use ketamine as a Übersoldier-formula. But he gets bonked by a shadowy figure. Turns out that the Vietnamese can speak proper English. But then Anakin saves Yoda's life because he can do whatever the fuck he wants. Yoda and Anakin are honored with medals for ending the war. the USA found the Ketamine Supply and is now using it for their own. Unfortunately, Shaggy, Scoobs and Kermit didn't make it ot alive. Two weeks later, there are parties all over the galaxy, just like in episode VI. Scoobs, Shaggy AND Kermit are now force ghosts.