Marilla, My Changeling, and Me

**Marilla, My Changeling, and Me** is the seventh session of Season One of Wacky Ribbons.

### Notes

* Everyone was in the last floor of the cillium jail babey
	+ Marilla: I see you’ve made it this far, but you won’t make it any farther.
	+ DM: roll for initiative
	+ Everyone: UM?????????? CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS FIRST,
* [insert tangent about ariana grande tickets costing as much as a kidney “ARIANA PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR KIDNEY” “KIDNEY PLEASE MA’AM”]
* Chenille pulls out her rapier, doesn’t attack
	+ Ipu: hey who’re you what’s up
	+ Marilla:
	+ Ipu: ALRIGHT UHHHHHHHHHHHHH [DRAWS DAGGER]
* Ruby holds on their action
* Marilla fires her crossbow at Chenille
	+ Kat: I’m sorry.
	+ DM: we don’t apologize in this house
* Marilla hits for 12 points, knocks Chenille out in one shot
	+ Song: CHENILLE OH NO
* Marilla points at Ipu, designates him as prey
	+ Song: OH NO CHENILLE WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP [casts healing word on chenille]
	+ Song: HEY LADY CALM DOWN WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM JESUS YOU CAN’T JUST GO SHOOTING PEOPLE
	+ Marilla: you’re in MY JAIL
	+ Song: YOU SHOT MY FRIEND! THAT’S CALLED MURDER
	+ Marilla: You’re not supposed to be here!
	+ [sound of everyone cackling over this]
* Acacia puts her hands up, successfully casts charm person on Marilla, forces her to chill out and explains the situation
* After Acacia does that, footsteps are heard behind Marilla and he enters his room yelling “I THINK SOMEFIN GOT INTO THE MAGIC PARAFFIN, YEAH?”
* Sees the party, gets excited, rubs hands together, ohhhHHHH WE GOT A FRESH ONE
* When he makes eye contact with Trongy she looks like she’s seen a ghost, and he steps forward
	+ Jack: Oh my god, OI, LUV -- TRONGY IS THAT YOU? Did you miss me? What are you up to these days?
	+ Jack: You know what, love? Don’t even worry about it, I know exactly who you want to see :^)
* Jack shapeshifts into a red tiefling, with horns and ears like Trongy’s, and a mop of curly hair on top of his head and smiles at Trongy like “didn’t you miss your baby brother?”
	+ Trongy: You fucking piece of SHIT -
* Trongy casts Thunderwave bc she’s FUCKING PISSED!
* Ruby/Chenille/Acacia take 5 damage, Song/Ipu take 11, everyone is pushed backwards
* ***CHENILLE GETS A NAT 20 TO PUNCH JACK***
* Chenille gets a good right hook and Jack loses a tooth, he’s got a bloody nose, face is swelling up
* Ipu ALSO goes to punch Jack misses
	+ Kat: are you proficient in punching? Remy: UH I DON’T KNOW
* Jack laughs at Ipu missing
	+ Ruby: Is this...the warlock? That we have to kill for some reason?
	+ Trongy: No.
	+ Ruby: I’ll just go and fucking punch him then!
* Ruby uppercuts Jack and it’s SICK, BOYE
* Marilla targets Chenille after her nat 20 hit, knocks out Chenille
* This part is really convoluted bc I didn’t read Jack’s sheet before attacking. *He missed*.
	+ DM: boning action - I mean, bonus action -
	+ Everyone: CACKLING
* Song is holding Chenille, casting cure wounds shouting “STOP IT GOD JUST STOP IT - WAKE UP CHENILLE C’MON”
* Acacia, lunging with sickels: “CAN WE PLEASE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS?”
	+ DM: he’s just hanging on by a thread here -
	+ Ruby: ...naked?
	+ DM: NO HE’S NOT NAKED!!!
* Trongy tries casting vicious mockery, Jack is unaffected cuz rolled nat 20 haha kill me thanks
	+ Jack: you haven’t changed a bit, have you?
* In the midsts of this, another man walks through the door (EVERYONE: OH GOD WHAT HTE FUCK NO)
	+ Ruby: why are there so many men.
* Green orc dude (Fio) walks in and immediately is like “WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE? PUT YOUR WEAPONS DOWN” and looks more panicked when he sees Trongy
	+ Ruby: Is he...the warlock?
	+ Ipu: I don’t know that we’re gonna find this warlock in this hole right now.
* Trongy is smad
* People lower their weapons! Yay
	+ Acacia: (Holds her hands over her head)
	+ Fio: That won’t be necessary.
	+ Acacia: You said to put away my weapons! These ARE my weapons!
* Chenille, bloody and beat up in Song’s arms:
	+ Chenille, to Fio: You’re..the other one….I’m going to kill you.
	+ Song: shhhshshhhshshhshhhh
	+ Ipu: When no one’s looking I’m going to kill you, you fucking ripe bastard.
* Fio escorts Jack out of the room, begs Marilla to talk to the party
	+ Ruby: So,
	+ Ruby: What’s happening, guys.
* Ruby waves at Marilla. Marilla awkwardly waves back.
	+ Acacia, explaining things: Curiosity killed…..(looks at Ruby).....ah nobody!
* Marilla explains that she’s better at Leonardo’s job than he ever was and she has no regrets about what happened to him. They steal from the rich and redistribute to the poor.
	+ Song, to Chenille: Just take a little nap!
	+ Chenille: Absolutely not -
	+ Song: Just cool it -
	+ Chenille: No!
* Acacia makes puppy dog eyes at Marilla. They’re pretty good puppy eyes
* Marilla gives the party two options: either stay in jail for a few days, or come with her while she stakes out the next target.
* Trongy walks up to Marilla, tells her she doesn’t give a fuck about her or what she does, storms out, bumps shoulders with Marilla. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK NOT A SINGLE FUCK NOT A SINGLE SOLITARY FUCK I DON’T GIVE A FUCK

***MOTHERFUCKER***