Ecstatic attraction

The ecstatic attraction flag.

**Ecstatic attraction**, also sometimes referred to as **emotional attraction** or **nonphysical attraction**, is an umbrella term for forms of attraction which do not focus on physical aspects of a person, and instead center more heavily around a desire for emotional closeness with someone, mental and spiritual bonding, relationship building, and similar experiences. These forms of attraction may or may not accompany physical attraction, relationships, and/or activities. There are many types of ecstatic attraction, such as romantic attraction and various forms of tertiary attraction.

Some people experience all forms of ecstatic attraction, while others experience only a few, only one, or none at all. It is common for aromantic and aro-spec people to experience tertiary forms of ecstatic attraction, without experiencing romantic attraction in particular. Some people experience different forms of attraction in different ways; these people may identify as varioriented. Other people experience all forms of attraction, or their primary forms of attraction, in the same way; these people may identify as perioriented. The ecstatic attraction (or lack thereof) that a person experiences is typically the primary factor in one's ecstatic orientation.

## Etymology

"Ecstatic" is a term meaning "of, relating to, or marked by ecstasy" ("ecstasy" being a state of overwhelming emotion, swooning, or being put in a trance). Thus, ecstatic attraction is attraction related to feelings of pleasure or overwhelming emotion, especially when directed towards or sparked by other people.

"Emotional" is a term meaning "of or relating to emotion." Emotional attraction, therefore, is attraction related to emotions, and particularly the desire for emotional bonding, as opposed to physical intimacy.

"Nonphysical" is the direct and literal opposite of "physical." Nonphysical attraction refers to any attraction which is not physical in nature.

## Under the umbrella

As mentioned previously, there are multiple types of ecstatic attraction. This is not a concrete list, and terms may be added when necessary.

* Romantic attraction
* Some forms of tertiary attraction
	+ Alterous attraction
	+ Amical attraction
	+ Exteramo attraction
	+ Domestic attraction
	+ Intellectual attraction
	+ Nebulous attraction
	+ Platonic attraction
	+ Queerplatonic attraction
	+ Social attraction
	+ Spiritual attraction

## Distinction

### Romantic attraction

***Main article:*** *Romantic attraction*

Romantic attraction is a term which describes the feeling of being romantically drawn towards someone in particular, having romantic feelings sparked by a specific person, finding someone romantically appealing, or wanting to be in a romantic relationship with someone in particular. While romantic attraction is included under the ecstatic attraction umbrella, not all forms of ecstatic attraction are romantic. For example, one may experience platonic attraction, alterous attraction, or other potential forms of ecstatic attraction, without it being necessarily romantic in nature.

### Nonsexual attraction

***Main article:*** *Nonsexual attraction*

Nonsexual attraction is an umbrella term for any form of attraction which is not sexual. Ecstatic attraction excludes sexual attraction, in addition to all physical forms of tertiary attraction, whereas nonsexual attraction only excludes sexual attraction specifically. Physical forms of tertiary attraction are included under the nonsexual attraction umbrella. All forms of ecstatic attraction are nonsexual, but not all forms of nonsexual attraction are ecstatic.

### Ecstatic activity stance

***Main article:*** *Ecstatic activity stance*

Ecstatic activity stance, also known as emotional intimacy stance or nonphysical intimacy stance, is the personal stance a person takes on ecstatic activity and ecstatic relationships. This is also sometimes referred to as desire, though the term "desire" can also be interchangeable with "libido", which is not necessarily related to ecstatic activity stance. People may have an activity stance often associated with attraction despite not experiencing that form of attraction. For example, one may be interested in platonic relationships, or have a general desire for friendship, without experiencing platonic attraction to anyone in particular. The opposite can also be true; one may experience platonic attraction without wanting to make friends or be in a platonic relationship.

## Flag

The ecstatic attraction flag was designed on September 16, 2022, by an individual who wishes to remain anonymous. It was first posted in a Discord server, then publicized on the MOGAI/LGBTQIA+ Wiki. Each stripe represents different types of ecstatic attraction, as well as different aspects of ecstatic experiences and community:

* The white stripes represent community, solidarity, inclusivity, and ecstatic attraction as a whole. White was chosen as the first and last stripe due to white being a combination of all colors, thus being all-encompassing. This placement also represents the fact that all forms of ecstatic attraction can exist within and between them, and additionally highlights the importance of solidarity.
* Yellow represents platonic, queerplatonic, and "platonic-adjacent" forms of attraction. This is due to the common association between the color yellow with platonic feelings and relationships.
* Blue represents alterous attraction, as well as similar forms of attraction, due to blue being commonly used as an alterous color.
* Grey represents the grey area of attraction, such as experiencing unclear attraction, experiencing attraction which exists "in between" different attraction types, experiencing nebulous attraction, being a-spec, etc.
* Dark pink represents romantic attraction, due to the color pink being commonly associated with romance.
* Light pink represents "romance-adjacent" forms of tertiary attraction. This was chosen because it's a different shade of pink: a related color, but still distinct. These are forms of tertiary attraction which may be explained through comparison to romantic attraction, yet aren't the same thing.

## Notes

1. ↑ Emotional attraction also sometimes refers to romantic and/or nonsexual attraction.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 1.7 1.8 momma-mogai-sphinx (2019-01-30). Attraction Terminology. Archived from the original on January 27, 2022.
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 2.6 What Are the Different Types of Attraction?. Healthline. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 Glossary of Terms. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer Plus (LGBTQ+) Resource Center. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
4. ↑ Split Attraction Model (SAM) (English). The Trans Language Primer. Archived from the original on December 8, 2021.
5. ↑ Sarran Webster, Emma. This New Color Scale Can Show You Where You Sexually Identify (English). Teen Vogue. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 perioriented and varioriented (17-02-2014).
7. ↑ Ferguson, Sian (01-07-2016). Here’s What It Means When Your Romantic and Sexual Orientations Are Different (English). everydayfeminism. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
8. ↑ PFLAG National Glossary of Terms (English). PFLAG. Archived from the original on January 25, 2022.
9. ↑ Ecstatic Definition & Meaning. Merriam-Webster. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
10. ↑ Ecstasy Definition & Meaning. Merriam-Webster. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
11. ↑ Emotional Definition & Meaning. Merriam-Webster. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
12. ↑ Nonphysical Definition & Meaning. Merriam-Webster. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
13. ↑ 13.0 13.1 13.2 Magni (2019-03-25). Tertiary Types of Attraction & Related Terminology. Arocalypse. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
14. ↑ Glossary of Terms. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer Plus (LGBTQ+) Resource Center. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
15. ↑ 15.0 15.1 lgbtqiarchive (2019-12-03). Tertiary attraction. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
16. ↑ 16.0 16.1 16.2 Magni (2018-05-05). Types of Tertiary Attraction. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
17. ↑ Attraction and Relationship Terms. AUREA. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
18. ↑ So What Does it Mean to be Graysexual?. Greatist (2021-04-20). Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
19. ↑ Beemyn, Genny. LGBTQIA+ Terminology Johns Hopkins University Press. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.
20. ↑ 20.0 20.1 20.2 20.3 20.4 20.5 20.6 Ghosturtle. Ecstatic attraction (Revision as of 2022-09-16T23:11:22). MOGAI/LGBTQIA+ Wiki. Archived from the original on September 19, 2022.