Introductory Oral Hygiene

"DENGIST! DENGIST! DENGIST!"

The janitor groaned out loud as he scrubbed at the windows. The crowd in front of the Reichstag had taken up the chant again. For weeks they had been camped out in the street, giving speeches and rallies on 'Dengism'. "What the hell is a deng, anyway?" he muttered to himself. Sighing, he returned to wiping at a particularly stubborn stain.

"You there! Cleaner!"

The janitor froze up as the maniacal tones of the Fuhrer, Albert Speer, boomed out from down the corridor.

"What is your name, cleaner?" demanded Speer. His suit was unkempt and he had a wild gleam in his eye.

"J...Johann Maurer, mein fuhrer."

"Maurer, what is the most glorious ideology in the world?"

"D... pragmatic dictatorship, mein fuhrer."

"You will address it by its true name!" screamed Speer, spittle flying from his mouth. His face was rapidly turning red. "SAY IT! WHAT IS IT CALLED?"

"Dengism, mein fuhrer!" stammered Maurer. Speer's complexion returned to normal and he gave a wicked smile. "Correct! You have saved your job! Now get back to work, cleaner! And praise Dengism!" Speer triumphantly marched away while Maurer choked back sobs. He had heard the stories of what happens to those who failed to praise Dengism. How long before he was next?

Suddenly, a rumbling sound came from outside. Maurer rushed back to the window just in time to see massive tanks roaring up the street. The crowd screamed and parted like water, allowing the tanks to stop directly in front of the Reichstag building. The tanks flew flags of bright blue, with a white tooth in the centre. The guards had run behind cover and Maurer could hear shouting from a distant room.

A man emerged from one of the tanks. Clad in scrubs and wearing a surgical mask, he carried a megaphone.

"Attention! We are the Free Dentist Army! We have come to destroy the vile serpent of Dengism and bring about a new age of clean teeth and-" the dentist was cut off as a guard opened fire. With inhuman speed, the dentist sidestepped the bullets and charged the guard. He knocked the rifle aside and swept the guard's leg, sending him crashing to the ground. The dentist turned over the guard and examined his mouth with a glove-clad hand. "Poor diet... you probably can't even afford sufficient sources of Vitamins C and D. What cruelty..." the dentist said softly.

The sound of screeching tires cut through the tense stand-off. A black car was pulling away from the Reichstag. "Speer got away!" yelled the dentist. "Occupation plan, go!" Armed dentists emerged from armored trucks and took up positions around the building. Back inside, a soldier shoved Maurer aside. "Go hide in a closet or something, rat!" the soldier barked, smashing a window and aiming his gun out the hole. As Maurer fled through the corridors, he heard radio chatter talk of FDA uprisings across the Reich. The Dentist War had begun...

*Four tips for good oral hygiene*

* Brush your teeth twice a day, and floss once a day
* When brushing, don't push too hard, and aim for the spot where the teeth meet the gums, moving the brush in a downward flick motion
* Use a fluoride toothpaste, and don't forget your tongue when brushing
* Don't force the floss in too hard or you could damage your gums

*Author: u/[deleted]*