Prologue-5 (1)

## A Look Inside Sblack's Childhood Trauma

Sblack Bart, as a wild teen, was riding Arson Pony through the sky. Arson Pony’s mane gleamed all colors of the srainbow in the sunlight. His cream-colored coat with red and orange highlights was blindingly bright. Sblack was high in the air, full of adrenaline, and completely reckless.

Sgrey was seventeen years old and not really responsible either. She flew through the air on seemingly nothing, controlling the winds to lift her up.

Green fields and scrubby trees rolled past below them. As Sblack and Sgrey flew higher and higher, Sblack was struck by his arrogance.

“I bet I can fly higher than you!” he called to his sister. The wind whipped his long, blue hair around his face and his challenge was seemingly unheard over the noise.

But Sgrey flashed him a smirk and propelled herself higher.

“You’re riding another animal, which doesn’t count!” she yelled back.

“Oh you motherfucker, I don’t care, because I can still go higher than you!” Sblack roodly taunted.

He pressed his heels into Arson Pony’s sides and urged him to go even higher.

Now, keep in mind that although Arson Pony can fly and lay waste to cities, he’s still a fishking pony. Arson Pony wasn’t even 13 hands high and was getting tired.

Sblack Bart didn’t particularly take care of his animals. He rode his pony throughout the day and let Swhite wash and groom them at night, while Swhite was secretly sneaking out to check on his fish nursery(cough cough origins of Fishk).

Arson Pony weakly tried to fly higher, but he couldn’t keep up. Sblack impatiently slapped his ass :aomg:, feeling the pressure of a bet he would lose. He didn’t want to feel the hot shame reddening his face. Sgrey floated high above his head, seemingly taunting him (she was actually smoking).

Arson Pony whinnied in pain. Sblack, being an asshole, did not stop.

It was the last straw.

Arson Pony, deprived of air and energy, tumbled through the air. Sblack screamed as the green grass and scrubby plants below grew larger and larger and he tumbled to his doom. A giant windmill stood alone on the hill.

He felt something move beneath him. A carpet of air pushed him up, leaving the ground behind. He wasn’t dead! Sblack looked up and saw Sgrey with her fingers outstretched, her face strained, trying to guide the air.

But she wasn’t concentrating on him. Sblack suddenly realized he was slowly floating down as the air under him grew slower and less, as Sgrey was concentrating less and less effort on him. The wind rushed past Sblack, and his butt *ass* thumped on the grass below. Ow i guess

A bead of sweat rolled down Sgrey’s face. Arson Pony’s long, gLorIoUs tail was tangled in the blades of the windmill. He neighed fearfully, but his energy was low, and he was fucked.

Sgrey waved her hands around wildly and tried to do something. A few gusts of air blew past the windmill against the motion of the blades, but it did nothing to slow it down. Sgrey’s fingers fumbled and she tried to untangle the mess of arson pony tail tangled in the blades of the mill, but it seemed to be useless.

Sblack looked up and rubbed his head. He saw Arson Pon’s bright coat flashing in the sun as he struggled to free himself. He saw that there was no way out.

In short, Arson Pony was pulled into a windmill and experienced a drawn out, painful death. He was pulled into the windmill and was crushed by the grindstones. There was a moment when all that was heard was an ominous grinding noise and horse screaming. Then there was a terrible, terrible *crunch* and *splat* as the poor creature was crushed in the millstones.

After that, there was a painful silence.

Sblack Bart was barely fifteen.

When he was still a young child, Sblack’s grandfather, Ssilver Penkyt, was put through a Dropson’s Grinder™. Sblack Bart’s family collected the life insurance, and later, with the money they were saving from it, Sblack bought himself a new car instead of something to support his family. He was sixteen now.

This new car was funeral-black, which was quite fitting. Sblack Bart named it the Arsonmobile. He was very careful to not put any streamers on it.

## The Childhood of Sblack Bart, and his Early Beginnings

Sblack Bart sprung to life from the piss of his father, as all gods do. He was born a grown man, except he was two feet tall. He grew two inches every day until 30 days later, he was like seven feet tall. Sblack bart’s wild, man.

Sblack Bart was born with fiery hands, and loved arson. Quite fitting. As a child, he started small with his arsonist ways; forests, houses, and other relatively small objects. Nobody ever caught his face as he disappeared from the scene. Sometimes, drunk on glilk, he played around with juggling balls of flaming corn. He was known simply as a myth. And so he was, until one fateful day he appeared in some random dude’s Tweet.

“your boyfriend is dumb as sblack bart," the Tweet read. Sblack Bart, being the all-knower arsonist, was shocked and angry. People had called him a pyromaniac, a violence-spreader, even a crispy Dorito. Heck, these were compliments! But nobody, nobody had *ever* called him *dumb.* Dumb as a college-refusing ‘boyfriend’ no less. Sblack bart had never committed arson on living things before, but now, he was willing to try…

## Sblack Bart and his Twin Brother, Swhite Polet

Sblack Bart had a twin brother, Swhite Polet. Swhite was birthed from the shit of his mother. Although he was identical to Sblack in every way, he was a foot shorter than him because of science. Swhite’s only powers were flooding and property damage, for although he frequently had to clean up his brother’s messes he did a poor job of it. While Sblack was generally destructive, Swhite was a benevolent god, just not a good one. For this, Sblack despised his brother, refusing to share the glilk and not giving him any rides in his arsonmobile. Because of this, Swhite was forced to drive around in a fire truck fueled by his own piss. His only friend was a fish named Fishk, who he met one day after flooding the house it lived in. Swhite was able to encounter this fish due to the fact he was somehow born with gills despite being literal human shit.

One day, Sblack Bart was so enraged by Swhite’s attempts to stop his arson-ing that he challenged him to a duel. Swhite agreed. He brought his loyal companion Fishk as his second. Sblack brought a random lizard he found and lit on fire (he did not have many friends at the time). They took ten paces, upon which they both turned and Sblack set Swhite on fire. His brother burned to ashes before him.

The next day, Sblack mixed Swhite’s ashes with his breakfast glilk. He knew that if other people found out he had killed his brother, it would ruin his reputation as chaotic neutral, and he couldn’t have that. So he burned all records of his brother’s existence, and thus Swhite vanished from history.

Until he sprung back to life from Sblack’s sblack bart a few days later. Sblack let him live, since all records of him had been burned, but the two never did get along quite as well as they did before one of them murdered the other.

## The Myth (True Story) of Bred

Sblack Bart is a noble man. One day he was running around in his grand arsonmobile, when he saw a young man submerged in a pile of sand, holding a soggy lump of dough sadly.

Sblack Bart is not a cock like the man from the tweet, so he asked him if everything was okay.

A neck and chest began to rise out of the sand, and Sblack Bart saw his nips were the size of tennis balls. Weird, but okay. Then, where you would expect the legs to be, this person just had… sand.

“My bread is soggy," he sighed. “I was going to bake it, but it fell in the ocean, and now all I have is raw, wet bread.”

Sblack Bart, being a typical benevolent arsonist, replied, “I can help with that.”

He held up his hand, and slowly brought a small flame to rise. He didn’t want to burn that bread. A flicker of warmth spread through his fingertips. It felt odd to generate small flames and not big, beautiful blazes resembling gender reveal parties.

Because baking uses indirect heat, Sblack Bart moved his hands in a circular motion around the bread to distribute the heat evenly, and suddenly, the bread was aflame.

“AAH! Fishk!” he cried. Arson was easier on a larger scale.  The sandy figure scrambled away in a pile of sand, to avoid melting. Sblack Bart quickly blew out the fire, leaving a somewhat blacked, toasty loaf of bred.

The sandy man thanked Sblack Bart. He told him his name was Sandromedus John Boye, and that his crab army would be grateful for the cronchy bread.

## Playdate?

“You can call me Sandy Boy," Sandromedus said. He reached into his sandy torso and pulled out a waterskin made from forehead skin. “You want some?”

Sblack peered in and saw a thick, goopy glilk. What a delicacy! Sandy Boy was a prince! Only the highest nobles were permitted to consume this.

Sandy Boy poured a little glilk over his bread. The bread began glowing. He tore a piece off and handed it to Sblack. It felt light and squishy, but as soon as he realized it, it automatically adjusted to his taste, so it was rough, blacked, and hard. Just like a crisp Pompeiian body after Mount Vesuvius. It tasted buttery and golden though, with a strong aftertaste of glilk. It was, well, gluey, with a bit of milkiness like unsweetened ice cream.

Sblack usually was not so nice to people, but he told the sand man,

“This is very nice! Thank you!” He stashed a few crumbs in his pocket, to flex on Swhite. Man, he would be as pissed as the dinky little truck he drove.

“Hey, would you like to come over?” Sandy offered.

“Sure! That’d be nice.” (Sblack had no friends rip)

As Sblack boarded his Arsonmobile, Sandy sat down in the shotgun, where Sblack kept gasoline and oil for personal purposes.

“Is this necessary?” Sandy asked. “This much oil, the whole US is coming for you!”

“Nah, we’re good," Sblack insisted. “My Arsonmobile is way better suited than Swhite’s little piss-cart.”

“You do you," Sandy said with a shrug, and he lifted his hands up above his head, bringing a tide of sand under the Arsonmobile, raising it into the sky.

## The Kidnapping (cough cough)

For Sblack, ‘Twas was a fine and dandy evening. He had just finished setting fire to the local Elementary school and was drunk with Sandy in the basement. Swhite was screaming as he watched the school burn.

It was said that the fire raged as high as Sblacks ego, which was very high, mind you, so he also set fire to a few local airplanes passing by. As Sblack stumbled over a potato sack, he was suddenly feeling very sleepy. Like, ”oh my god i am dying aren’t i” sleepy. He may as well have laid on the ground as he waited to decompose. And that’s what he did, after setting the local Middle school on fire as well. His dying wish, you could call it, he fell asleep hearing screams.

For Sandy Boy, he was very tired. He had just gone around passing everyone his morning sand. He had fed his crabs the finest loaves of bread, and was very hungry himself, wobbling along on his stump, he saw his beloved pal laying on the ground, with another person. and wobbled over as fast as his stump could carry him. The smoke was horrible, and soon he started coughing like no tomorrow. He himself passed out next to Sblack.

For Muscle Man, it was a horrible evening. He hadn’t eaten his daily tendons and toes and was very hungry. He had spent all day looking for victims to kidnap and kill for their body parts. He had stolen a bit of piss to drink but wasn’t very hydrating and soon he was hungrier than ever.

But the kung fu panda of no radishes on noodles himself must have seen Muscle Man and blessed him, for he had found 3 people! Yes one of them had no legs and a mere stump to carry him, but his elbows and ribs would still be delicious. As he tied the 3 people together and carried them over his shoulder, he walked home, satisfied with his haul. He would not go hungry today it would seem.

Sblack woke up very confused. Not only was he not dead in fact, but he was laying on an operating table, bolted down. Sblack did not like this, He was a god! He killed his brother! HE ATE HIS BROTHER. This bastard is going DOWN. He was mad, so mad in fact he would rather destroy this person than his brother's piss truck. He would rather drink his brother's piss truck then let this person get what they want. Ironically he heard his pissy brother screaming on the table next to him.

“Fishkin hell shut up! I’m trying to eat you, not hear you sing Beijing opera!” yelled an unfamiliar voice; he saw the man come in. He was pure flesh with no skin, nearly no bone, and all Muscle. The only thing you could see was his gleaming eyes and teeth, so very flammable. He smashed his hands together and rubbed them like a fishking mad lad.

Blue flames that he was so familiar with sprung from his palms, and he curled on palms fire up and threw it at the room over. It burst into flames, the room illuminated by a fire that shone like how a kid pisses their denim jeans. Muscle Man screamed, and soon the fire was close enough to wake up Sandy Boy, who also started screaming like an opera singer.

Sblack, who had long been freed from his metal cuffs, melted the rest of them. I won’t give you the details, (cause i'm lazy af and this is already too long) but everyone started fighting each other, it was very brutal. 2 of Muscle man’s teeth were knocked out and Sblack’s left arm never worked the same again. Sandy Boy’s hands started shaking when he wasn’t offering sand, and Swhite may as well have died.

But somehow over this long brutal battle, they all became the best of friends. Well, Sblack and Swhite still hated each other but whatever, and maybe Swhite lost a few Tendons but it’s fine.