Lost THX Tex Trailer: A Capcom Boxset

Warning: The following story contains content that might not be suitable for younger audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.

It took us four whole hours to get to Clowny and Piggy's carnival to find the third part of the Eternal Flame to defeat Tex. But we finally made it. The carnival looked like something you'd see in a Scooby Doo episode. Toppy, Dave, and I looked at it and nodded to each other. We walked in and began looking for the third part of the Eternal Flame.

"This is actually a pretty nice carnival," said Toppy.

"Maybe we can go on some rides when this is all over?" said Dave.

"Guys, this carnival is run down and old," I said. "I doubt that any of the rides will work. Besides, we're just hear to find the third part of the Eternal Flame, so we can defeat Tex and save the world."

We walked for hours on end, but we still couldn't find that part. But right when we were about to give up, we saw the third part on top of the Ferris wheel. But Zurg, Clowny, and Piggy were also there. Zurg was still mopping floors, while Piggy and Clowny were guarding the ride, to make sure that the part didn't get taken.

"What are we gonna do?" asked Toppy. "If they see us, we'll be dead for sure!"

"Walk to the wheel, quietly," I said.

We walked to the Ferris wheel, as quietly as we could. Zurg, Piggy, and Clowny didn't even bother looking. We then went to the top of the Ferris wheel and grabbed the part. But apparently, the part was holding the wheel together. So, the Ferris wheel came tumbling down, with us on it. Luckily, Zurg, Piggy, and Clowny still didn't hear us. But we were all hurt.

"MY BACK!" I yelled. "MY BACK!"

"Who said that?!" asked Zurg, now aware that someone was here. "Show yourself!"

Clowny used his hammer to clear away the debris and pointed at us.

"You three again?!" yelled Zurg. "You guys are so annoying! I was gonna make your deaths quick and painless! But since you really made me mad, I'm gonna finish you all slowly! Clowny and Piggy, seize them!"

We all ran as Clowny and Piggy were chasing us. We still had the third part of the Eternal Flame and we about to enter the truck. When all of a sudden, Toppy got hit on the head by Clowny's hammer.

"Toppy!" I yelled.

Toppy's knocked out body was dragged by Clowny and Piggy to go see Zurg. But I wasn't gonna let my friend get hurt. So, I told Oceanna to use her voice to freeze both monsters, to which she complied. Then, we grabbed Toppy and sped away.

"Toppy, wake up," I said. "Toppy, come on. Don't leave us!"

Toppy woke up, much to my relief.

"Well, at least he didn't call me a goat simp," said Toppy.

"Toppy! You're alive!" I said.

"Of course, I am," said Toppy. "I'm not gonna die. At least not today."

"Guys," said Dave. "I found another boxset."

Dave held up the boxset. This time, it was for Capcom and the characters on it were Ryu, Ken, Chun-Li, Dante, Chris Redfield, Frank West, Monster Hunter, and Mega Man X. We put the disc into Peter, and the warning popped up:

"Warning: The following trailer was made to promote "Rust", despite that film being cancelled for the Hayna Hutchins shooting. This trailer contains violence. Viewer discretion is advised."

"OK, Tex," I said. "We're not scared of you anymore."

It opened with a shot of the THX headquarters. Tex, The Sinister Six, Rod, Piggy, Clowny, Granny, Huggy Wuggy, and Kissy Missy were gathered around a board room table.

"OK, guys," said Tex. "The official meeting of the Sinister Seven and the Horror Gang has officially come to official order! Time for the roll call! Tex? Present! Green Goblin?"

"Here!"

"Doc Ock?"

"Here!"

"Electro?"

"Right here."

"The Lizard?"

"Here."

"Sandman?"

"Here."

"Venom?"

"Here."

"Granny?"

"Here!"

"Rod the Ice Scream Man?"

"Hello, don't you wanna try my delicious ice cream? I mean, here."

"Huggy Wuggy?"

Huggy roared to get Tex's attention.

"Kissy Missy?"

Kissy also roared to get Tex's attention.

"Clowny?"

"Here."

"Piggy?"

"Here."

"Zurg? Zurg? Zurg!"

Tex looked around, but Zurg was nowhere to be found.

"Where is Zurg?" asked Tex.

"I heard that he's been sentenced to mop floors for the rest of his life," said The Green Goblin. "So, he's probably just mopping floors somewhere."

"OK," said Tex. "Kadin and his friends have found the first three parts of the Eternal Flame. It's my one weakness, as you may all know. The fourth and final part of the Eternal Flame is at Granny's house. If they get that part, they can summon Dr. Curtis Burtis, my creator. He is the only one who knows how to turn me off. If that happens, you will all go back to your universes to die! All my victims could be revived! My life's work as I know it will be gone! So, we need a plan to keep them from getting that last part!"

"Well, for what I know, Kadin seems to have feelings for that mermaid," said The Green Goblin.

"How does that help us?!" Asked Tex.

"Think about it this way, Tex," said The Green Goblin. "The cunning warrior attacks neither body nor mind. We have to mess with Kadin's head! Make him wish that he was never born! Then, we grant his wish."

"How?!" Asked Tex.

"First, we attack his heart," said The Green Goblin. "We use that mermaid as bait! Make him choose! Then, at just the right moment, we attack!"

"Good idea," said Tex, grinning. "Granny, you guard the last piece of the Eternal Flame at your house. We got some Capcom characters to kill!"

I was terrified to hear their plan. What were they going to do with Oceanna? Kill her? Make her evil again? I knew that I couldn't let them kill my girlfriend.

Anyways, the trailer wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of Japan. Ken, Ryu, and Chun-Li were practicing their kung-fu moves. At that moment, Tex, The Lizard, Huggy Wuggy, and Kissy Missy dropped down, scaring all three fighters.

"Hello, kung-fu masters," said Tex.

"We've heard so much about you!" yelled Ryu. "Leave now, before we kick your hiney!"

"That won't happen," said The Lizard. "You know what we are gonna do?"

"What?" asked Ryu.

"We are gonna eat all three of you!" said The Lizard.

"Guys, eat up," said Tex.

"With pleasure," said The Lizard.

The Lizard, Huggy, and Kissy ate Ryu, Ken, and Chun-Li up as they screamed in agony. Toppy thought that part was disgusting. So, he threw up in a fast food bag that we had lying around.

But the trailer wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of a graveyard. Chris Redfield was on night duty, looking for some zombies to fight. But at that moment, Tex, The Green Goblin, and Rod the Ice Scream Man popped up in front of him, startling him. Chris pulled out his gun and pointed it at the trio.

"Hello," said Rod. "Don't you wanna try our delicious ice cream?"

"Actually," said Chris. "All of this zombie hunting has made me hungry. So why not?"

Rod gave Chris an orange ice cream cone, which he ate in one go. Tex and The Green Goblin looked at each other with an evil grin on their faces.

"This is delicious!" said Chris. "What flavor is it?"

"Oh, Pumpkin Bomb, of course," said The Goblin, with a laugh.

"What?!" yelled Chris, as he exploded.

"Well, that takes care of the zombie hunter," said Tex, as he heard Chris scream in agony as he met his fate. "Now, let's hunt another zombie hunter!"

The trailer wasn't over yet.

It cut to show another graveyard. This time, it was in the Dead Rising world. Frank West was fighting a massive herd of zombies. But just as he was about to finish the last one, Tex, Rod, and The Green Goblin flew above him.

"Hello," said Rod. "Don't you wanna try our delicious ice cream?"

"NO!" yelled Frank. "You three are evil! I will never eat any ice cream from you!"

"Well, how about instead of ice cream," said Tex. "The T-Man and his friends kill you?"

At that moment, Tex used his moo can to revive all of the zombies that Frank killed. The Goblin also threw a pumpkin bomb at the scene that contained four more zombies, who came near Frank.

"No," said Frank. "Please don't kill me! It's no big deal! I promise I'll never hunt zombies again! No! NO! NOOOOOO!"

Before the zombies ate Frank, the scene cut to black. All we could hear was Frank's blood-curdling screams and the zombies eating him.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of Dante's office in Devil May Cry. Dante was smoking a cigarette and using his phone. When all of a sudden, Tex, Piggy, and Clowny snuck up on him. Dante pulled out his gun, and prepared to shoot at them. But as he was about to get a good shot in, Piggy and Clowny hit him on the head with their weapons.

"Ow!" yelled Dante.

"Hello, devil slayer," said Tex. "You wanna see the T-Man's Circus?"

"No!" yelled Dante. "Whoever you are, beat it!"

"Not gonna happen," said Tex. "Piggy and Clowny, get them!"

Piggy and Clowny continued hitting Dante with their weapons. Dante screamed as blood spilled from his head. Eventually, he stopped screaming and died from serious brain damage.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of the forest at night. Monster Hunter was walking in the woods, on night duty.

"Oh great," said Toppy. "More night shifts!"

At that moment, Monster Hunter was startled by the sound of electricity and sand. The sounds started getting louder and louder. Then, it showed Sandman, Tex, and Electro going near Monster Hunter.

"Time to hunt a Monster Hunter!" yelled Tex.

"It's time to get zapped!" yelled Electro.

Electro zapped Monster Hunter with a big jolt of electricity. Monster Hunter screamed as he was being shocked. Then, Sandman blinded him with his sand powers before Tex came in and sliced his arm off with a chainsaw. Then, Venom came up from the ground and ate Monster Hunter in one giant gulp.

"That was a tasty hunter," said Venom, licking his lips.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of the river from Spider-Man 2. Mega Man X was loading up his gun arm, getting ready to hunt Tex. All of a sudden, Doc Ock's arm grabbed him and began dragging him to his fusion machine. Tex could be seen behind the control panel.

"Hello, robot," said Tex.

"I've heard about you, Tex!" yelled Mega Man X. "Let me go now, or I will blast you with my gun arm!"

"Not gonna happen," said Doc Ock. "You're just what I need to complete my experiment. The power of the sun in the palm of my hand needs a test subject. Tex, turn it on."

"With pleasure," said Tex, as he flipped the On button.

At that moment, Doc Ock threw Mega Man X into the machine, which caused him to explode instantly.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to show a shot of the THX logo. The dead body of Frank West could be seen lying on the ground. Then, the deep note played. This time, the screams belonged to Ryu, Ken, Frank, Dante, Chris, Monster Hunter, and Mega Man X. After the deep note ended, Tex and his gang dropped down and began their speech.

"Hi there, Capcom fans," said Tex. "The T-Man and his Psycho Gang have just murdered your precious characters."

"The final part of the Eternal Flame is at Granny's house," said The Green Goblin. "But I doubt that anyone can get past Granny."

"If you are ever afraid of Tex, THX, The Sinister Six, or any horror game, the Psycho Gang will haunt you forever," said The Lizard.

"And to Kadin and his friends: You're not gonna get rid of the T-Man," said Tex. "I won't let you. Sweet dreams."

The Lizard ate the screen as "The Audience is Listening" and "To Be Continued..." appeared on the screen.

"We need to go to Granny's house, quickly!" I said.

"But Granny is the toughest character there is," said Bruce. "You'll never gonna get through her without dying!"

"But the sooner we get the Eternal Flame together, the better!" I said, frantically. "I can't lose Oceanna. I won't let Tex and The Psycho Gang capture her to mess with my hand! I have feelings for her! I always have! I always will! A good boyfriend keeps their girl safe!"

I embraced Oceanna in a kiss, as Toppy and Dave cheered me on.

"I knew it!" yelled Toppy.

"I have feelings for you too, Kadin," said Oceanna. "Let's do it."

We were all on our way to Granny's house to get the final part of the Eternal Flame to summon Dr. Curtis Murtis and defeat Tex and The Psycho Gang. But what we didn't know was that things were about to get a little too... Alternate.

(To be continued...)