Malcom Vs. Laura - Transcript

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Chapter 32 - Malcom Vs Laura

Angle on Boyer Investigations

Lily wakes up, as classical music starts playing. She begins her daily routine, brushing her teeth, choosing a green dress (in a closet exclusively full of green dresses), and going down to the dining room for Breakfast. Then there’s an explosion sound.

Lily

“What’s going on?!”

Silence

Lily

“Oh yeah, of course...”

On the roof, Laura Boyer is using a canon

Laura

“Take this Malcom! AAAAAGH!”

She fires it again, the cannonball soars into the side of Randoms Tower

Laura

“BOOM! EAT THAT YA TALL HAIRED FREAK! HA HA!”

Lily pops up

Lily

“Mom, what’s happening here?”

Laura

“Vengeance! Malcom has humiliated me time and time again, now the tables are turning! HE’S GOING DOWN!”

Lily

“Yep, good plan...”

Brief silence

Laura

“Also your forbidden from going to Randoms Tower ever again”

Lily

“WAIT WHAT?!”

Intro plays

Laura walks through the halls, Lily following her

Lily

“Mom, please! YOU CAN’T LOCK ME UP HERE! It’s so cliche... also, just because you have a problem with Malcom, why does that mean I can’t hang out with Tim and Alex?! They’re different people!”

Laura

“Ever since you started hanging out with them you’ve been researching diversity of thought, and 80s business techniques! You’re becoming one of them!”

Lily

“Well at least they’re a better family to me than you!”

Laura

“What?!”

Lily

“You heard me! You never let me do anything! You’re so controlling about every aspect of my life! It’s ridiculous, I know why you’re upset, but why should I have to pay for it? That’s idiotic!”

Laura

“Lily, it’s because I care about you!”

Lily

“Uh-Huh, sure... but here’s a news flash... I’m done, I’M DONE WITH THE TYRANNY! I’m running away!”

Hard cut she’s locked in her room

Lily

“Let me out?”

Laura (behind door)

“Not until I figure out what happened to you”

Lily

“Fine”

She waits for the footsteps of Laura to get far enough away

Lily

“AAAAAAAAAA-“

Cut to right outside Randoms Tower, Tim, Alex, Malcom, P-Sauce, Paul, Shade, Anne and Safety Ninja all outside

Malcom

“I don’t understand! Where did that even come from?!”

Tim

“It’s the aliens!”

Alex

“The what?”

Tim

“You know, those aliens... they... they’re constantly...”

Alex

“Yeeeeah...”

P-Sauce

“Dude, is that a cannonball? Rock on...”

Malcom

“P-Sauce, please don’t admire that cannonball”

P-Sauce

“Well okay... but it’s like kinda impressive, like... a cannonball?”

Malcom

“Okay fine, admire it”

P-Sauce

“Excellent”

Paul pulls out a telescope, then gasps

Paul

“There’s a brand name!”

Malcom

“WHAT?! Who?!”

Paul

“Boyer Investigations!”

Malcom

“Laura Boyer! Dagnabbit! She wouldn’t sign my peace treaty contract... even Robert signed it... haven’t seen him in months...”

Safety Ninja

“Uh Malcom, I’m not comfortable being in a building being pelted by cannonballs, not remotely safe”

Anne

“Man up!”

Safety Ninja

“What?! I’m just saying!”

Shade

“No, Anne’s right!”

Safety Ninja

“C’mon!”

Tim

“What the- GUYS DUCK!”

Another cannonball crashes into the side of the tower

Alex

“That was way higher than us, literally no reason to duck”

Malcom

“She’s being way more aggressive than usual”

Alex

“Yeah seriously, it seemed like out of your enemies she attacked the least”

Malcom

“Well to be fair Robert can’t, Jameson’s gone, and Warwick hasn’t been seen for like eight months now”

Alex

“Yeah good point”

Tim

“If Laura’s attacking us what’ll we do?!”

Malcom

“The only thing we can... go to war...”

Tim and Alex

“Whoa”

Malcom

“Oh yeah, it’s gonna be a bloodbath... preferably without blood, but yeah... I’m gonna need to call the Randoms Elite, you two try and get recruits...”

Malcom walks off

Tim

“Okay we’ll do that! Yeeeep! Aaaaaand, okay he’s gone. Alex, bro, we have to save Lily!”

Alex

“Uh-“

Tim

“Think about it! She’s probably trapped in Boyer Investigations, not allowed to leave! Who knows wh-“

Lily

“Hey guys”

Tim

“LILY! You’re here!”

Alex

“What a relief!”

Lily

“Yeah I snuck out, my mom’s become obsessed with avenging herself, she had five cups of coffee this morning! FIVE!”

Alex

“And you’re on- on our side?”

Lily

“Of course, you guys are way better than her... and if Malcom allows it, I’ll move into Randoms Tower”

Alex goes slightly pink

Alex

“You’ll what?!”

Lily

“Move in, you guys are my real family! And what, you have a problem with that?”

Alex

“No, no problem! I was just surprised!”

Tim

“I for one think that would be AWESOME!”

P-Sauce

“Yep, off the chain”

Lily

“P-Sauce! \*sputters\* you live here?”

P-Sauce

“Nope”

Lily

“Okay, that’s wow, so... herf...”

P-Sauce

“Speaking of which, I need to go back to work, bye my dudes!”

He walks off

Alex

“How does that guy exist in the 21st century?”

Tim

“Lily, this is great! We can go on all sorts of adventures together now!”

Lily (still looking after P-Sauce)

“Yep...”

Cut to Boyer Investigations, Laura is sobbing on her desk

Laura

“I can’t believe she’d ditch me! How could she?!”

A butler walks in

Butler

“You’re honestly surprised?”

Laura

“Shut up Hector!”

Butler

“Oh, wow, got me again. By the way, thought you’d want to know, I found this poster out in the street. Nearly died”

Laura

“Let’s see”

She grabs it, it’s a poster with a photo of Malcom that says: “I want YOU to join the Randoms army”

Laura

“Oh he’s so going down, I’m gonna make a few calls, go away”

Butler

“Yup okay”

She dials a number in her old school telephone, eventually someone picks up

Ex-Lord

“Who’s there?”

Laura

“You have anymore of those cheap CreaTech knockoff robots?”

Ex-Lord

“Uh, my robots are far superior-“

Laura

“Yeah, I need like... umm, a thousand of them. Can you do that?”

Ex-Lord

“It’ll cost you”

Laura

“Consider it done”

Ex-Lord

“Okay”

Back at Randoms Tower, Malcom is in the middle of an Elite meeting

Malcom

“So yeah, I’d call this a threat level... two maybe?”

Tucker

“A three at the very most”

Sally

“Yeah, you never considered Laura a very big threat, what changed?”

Malcom

“Well I can’t ignore that she’s the only person in Porta richer than me”

Ricardio

“Malcom, nearly everyone in Porta’s richer than me! Stop being a baby”

Malcom

“I’m not-“

Sally

“Ricardio shut up, last time I checked you were still in quiet time for what you said last meeting”

Jessie

“Oh yeah, you were extremely offensive. Basically insulted every one of us on a deeply personal level, didn’t even know that was possible!”

Ricardio looks grumpy

Malcom

“Anyway, Jessie, Tucker. You two are our best fighters, especially since Tiny Turret is out on her sorcerer mission, can you lead the charge?”

Tucker and Jessie look nervously at each other

Jessie

“I haven’t seen action in years Malcom. I’ve pretty much stayed in my room excepting meetings and that one basketball game. All I do is make codes, predict the future... are you sure you want me back in the fight?”

Malcom

“Absolutely!”

Tucker

“Yeah Jessie, it’ll be fun! Let’s do it!”

Jessie

“Well... I guess so...”

Sally

“I would love to help with the war, seriously, but... Ex-Lord awaits!”

Malcom

“I understand Sal, good luck!”

Sally

“You too!”

Malcom

“As for the rest of you, we’re going to war!”

Cut to Central Park, the mayor is giving a speech

Professional Blond Man

“As you’re really great mayor, it is my duty to inform you that you definitely have a choice in this whole, ‘should we eat vegan debacle.’ You are still allowed to eat meat, buuuuut... you will be severely judged for it”

Suddenly the ground shakes

Professional Blond Man

“Oh yep, right on cue, somebody call Randoms INC!”

A massive worm emerges

Professional Blond Man

“Oh lord yep, I lo- I love being mayor here... it’s really great... I could’ve gotten Neon City, or Capital City, but no... I choose the hecking weird one”

Hard cut to Randoms INC, the break room. Tim, Alex and Lily are trying to figure out the sleeping situation

Tim

“So... I guess you could crash on the couch?”

Alex thumps Tim

Tim

“What?!”

Alex

“She can’t sleep on the couch! That wouldn’t be comfortable at all!”

Lily

“Alex, it’s fine, I don’t mind...”

Tim

“Did Malcom even approve of this?”

Malcom (in distance)

“Yeah, y’all are good. Just stay in separate rooms at night, I have security cameras everywhere bucko”

Alex (yelling)

“KAY!”

Lily

“Y’know, give me a few extra pillows and blankets, I could totally salvage this couch!”

Tim

“That... can be arranged!”

Lily

“Perfect!”

The ground shakes

Tim

“What’s going on?!”

Malcom

“Just some Flesh Wriggler in Central Park, not our top priority at the moment!”

Lily

“What’s a Flesh Wriggler? Sounds kinda rad”

Alex

“\*chuckles\* (dead serious) it’s not”

Lily

“Eegh, got it”

Cut back to Boyer Investigations, Laura is watching as an Ex-Lord worker unloads a ton of dangerous weapons

Laura

“Malcom’s going down...”

Cut to the roof, she’s setting up a massive laser cannon, aiming straight for the roof of Randoms Tower

Laura

“Sayonara Mr. Silva”

She starts charging it

Cut back to Randoms INC, in the cafeteria, Malcom is training some employees

Malcom

“Okay, one more try, here we go!”

He snaps his fingers, the employees all start choreographed dancing

Malcom

“This is gonna take some work”

Jessie

“Some what?”

Malcom

“HOLY! Hi Jessie”

Jessie

“Hello, Tucker’s getting some more weapons from his relic room. Soon we’ll be ready to take down Laura Boyer!”

Malcom

“Great! What could go-“

Massive explosion sound

Malcom

“What the heck was that?!”

Cut right outside, Malcom and a Jessie run out. Malcom looks up to see a massive hole blasted through the wall

Malcom

“KIDS! THE KIDS WERE UP THERE!”

Jessie

“WHAT?!”

Malcom

“That’s it, the final straw... I’m going over there myself...”

He storms off

Jessie

“But what about the plan?! Oh lord, I haven’t seen him this mad since... well...”

Jessie walks off

Cut to the break room, now in rough shape. The three kids are buried under some rubble

Tim emerges

Tim

“WHAT WAS THAT?!”

Alex

“Two words, Laura Boyer!”

Lily

“My mom knows I’m here, yet she shot anyway?! What’s the matter with her?!”

Alex

“Probably a lot, like a lot a lot”

Lily

“We have to stop her, let’s go down there!”

Tim

“Yeah! TEAM UP! We’ll grab P-Sauce too!”

Lily

“No, he’s too calm, which I love- mean I hate it, and it’s dumb!”

Tim

“I’m picking up... something here...”

Alex

“Yeah, I am too, it sucks- I mean what”

Cut to Boyer Investigations, Malcom is walking straight towards the gate, which he kicks down, causing some Ex-Lord made security functions to activate. Robots, lasers, all that. Malcom destroys it with ease.

Pan up, Laura is watching horrified. Her butler is behind her

Butler

“Dang girl, you donked up bad!”

Laura

“SHUT UP HECTOR! GO CLEAN A STOVE OR SOMETHING!”

Butler

“\*sigh\* okay geez”

He walks off, Malcom breaks through the front door.

The receptionist looks up

Receptionist

“Do you have an appointment?”

Malcom turns over her desk, and runs upstairs

Receptionist

“Geez, someone’s in a hurry”

Back up to Laura, Malcom bursts in on her

Laura

“MALCOM! I-I-I-I can explain!”

Malcom

“No need! I underestimated you before, I thought you weren’t even a Jameson level threat... but that! THAT?! Sorry Laura... but no more going easy on you...”

Laura

“Uh, we can talk about this right? You have that peace treaty contract! I could sign, no hassle!”

Malcom’s expression doesn’t change

Malcom

“Laura Boyer, you may have seriously hurt my family... and your daughter...”

Laura’s face goes white, she looks sick

Laura

“She was... she was up there?!”

Malcom

“Didn’t consider that? What a moron... this ends here Laura...”

???

“STOP!”

Malcom jolts around, Lily, Tim and Alex are there

Lily walks in between Malcom and Laura

Lily

“This has gone too far, from both of you! Mom, sign the contract!”

Laura

“I-“

Lily

“Do it!”

Laura

“Yes of course...”

Lily

“Malcom... she’s not worth it...”

Malcom looks at Lily for a moment before sighing

Malcom

“I agree...”

He pulls out his contract

Later, the gang exit Boyer Investigations, Lily in the back of the group

Laura calls out

Laura

“Lily, if you want to move back... I’ll move your room higher!”

Lily looks back, furiously. Then she keeps walking, without another word

The giants worm zooms right past them

Tim

“Oh, I got this guys!”

He runs over to it, charging up his magic ability, then jumps in its mouth. Few seconds later, it bursts into flames, and Tim emerges completely unscathed

Malcom

“Very impressive!”

Alex

“Nice one dude!”

Tim

“Aw shucks”

Lily

“Y’know what, I think I’ll get used to this pretty fast... besides you guys got plenty of room...”

Behind her, we see Randoms with the giant hole in it. Paul walks in front of the building holding a bag. When he notices the hole, he drops his bag

Paul (distance)

“Guys! The heck did I miss?! I leave for one day and this happens?!”

Fade transition, to later that night. Cut into the staff room, to see Paul finishing repairs

Paul

“Good as new! Goodnight!”

Paul exits, as Tim helps Lily finish her bed

Lily

“Thanks, but I could’ve done it!”

Tim

“Yeah, I know! Decided to help anyway, plus I wanna show you the balcony!”

Lily

“You guys have one of those?”

Tim

“Yeah, via the hidden panel!”

Tim presses the wall, and a door appears

Lily

“Whoa, intense”

Cut, they walk outside, getting the full view of Porta City

Lily

“Wow... it looks a lot less... chaotic from up here...”

Tim

“Yeah...”

They stand in silence for a moment

Tim

“So, I know what your mom’s like, but what about your dad?”

Lily looks shocked, and momentarily angry

Lily

“My what?!”

Tim

“Sorry! Touchy subject! Sorry!”

Lily realizes

Lily

“Sorry, that was... harsh... um, well, my dad, uh... he was cool... nice? He uh, he loved books... collected them...”

Tim’s listening in complete silence

Lily

“Then... about a year and three months ago... he... he got sick... he didn’t expect it, no one did... but he... anyway I- uh... (quickly and stiffly) mom hasn’t been the same since...”

Tim looks heartbroken

Tim

“How did you... deal with that?”

Lily

“Well... three months after he died, you guys threw that party, and I met the coolest people on earth!”

Tim tears up

Lily

“Having proper friends... helped a lot... so... thanks...”

The camera zooms out from the tower, and we fade to black

Tim

“No problem”

THE END