2015 Power Rankings - Week 5

*Posted 10/5/15 at 11:41pm. These were the last Power Rankings posted before the LOC Wikia went live.*

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Four weeks into the League of Champions season and the chaos has just begun. The Fantasy Gods foretold the fall of the final undefeated team and as it was prophesied, so it was. But that's no where near the biggest story of the week....

No one will ever know what would have happened in the last two minutes of the Seahawks game if the refs hadn't blown that call, but one thing is for sure: it buried the Lions and saved Paddock 9. Now every team has won a game and every team has lost a game. Last year's champ is tied for last place. Last year's last place team is tied for first place. Nine out of ten teams fell below their projected point total this week. Ma ma momma said stayed undefeated against The Shotti Bunch. And oh boy, we're just getting started.

Before we get into the rankings, a few updates:

The Next Generation Begins this Thursday: “Look to its coming, at first light, on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east.” **cue epic Lord of the Rings Music**. Okay, so don’t get up at dawn and look east. But on Thursday at kick off you should venture to the Facebook thread. Just saying.

The Groot Line –In a 13 game season, it’s almost impossible
to finish at .500 unless you somehow tie. We came close to a tie once. In 2012 ma ma momma said and Papa’s Posse had a matchup with a 0.02 margin of victory. But still, teams fluctuate above and below .500 all season. IAMGROOT, a franchise that was founded in 2013 and folded after two seasons, finished their
career at 13-13. In honor of IAMGROOT and retired manager Alex Deyeso, I am christening the .500 line “The Groot Line.”

Most of the league currently sits either below or on The Groot Line. Amazingly, Papa's Posse is one of three teams above The Groot Line despite being one of only two teams who have failed to score over 200 points all season.

The rankings were tough this week. Very few teams have established themselves in 2015. Luckily, I don't make the rankings. The Fantasy Gods pass down the rankings to me after the Monday Night Game every week and all I do is add my thoughts.

1(1). GaroppoblowMe - There is no way to sugar coat this. Losing to the lowest
scoring team in the league is not a good look. Yet they still lead the league
in scoring and everyone knew this had the potential to be a letdown week with
the Patriots Trio on the bye. In league history, teams that scored over 300
points in a regular season game are 3-3 the following week. Getting a fourth
win next week will be huge for GBM, who has not won four games in a season
since 2012.

2(2). Deez Sons of Bitchez - Congratulations are in order. Dee moves up to 10th on the
all-time regular season win list. Of course the team they just passed only
played one season and Dee is in her third, but a win is a win. Dee is one win
away from matching her season record 4 wins set in 2013. We'll see just how
much depth Dee has next week against Reign Maker with two of the flex spots on
the bye.

3(5). Ma ma momma said – It seems the demise of MMMS was greatly exaggerated. Yes, I know I
said the same exact thing last week but it bears repeating. MMMS had not lost
back to back games since 2011, so their 0-2 start was alarming to say the
least. But what should be alarming now is that they are the only team with a
WR, RB, and QB over 100 points.

4(3). The Shotti Bunch –TSB moves to 0-6 lifetime against MMMS. They will get another
crack at it week 13, but just to be safe I’d say they should probably have a
playoff spot locked up by then. Aside from that, the Shotti Bunch’s seasons
play out like a Tarantino movie. They build slowly and it isn’t until the
credits are rolling that you realize, holy crap that was pretty good. TSB’s
starts over the last 4 years: 3-1, 2-2, 2-2, 2-2. Which 2-2 season will we see
from TSB? In 2014 they lost in the semifinals. In 2013 they won it all.

5(7). Papa’s Posse – HOWWWWWWWWW? Has a team ever been more favored by the Fantasy
Gods than Papa’s Posse? They were the only team to beat their projections this
week and they still couldn’t break 200 points. The total scores of the 3-1
teams: 965.38, 887.75, 719.64. How will PP fair in week five against the
monster he himself created?

6(8). Paddock 9 – Just how close was their win this week? Rawls got the first two
carries on a clock killing drive to bring it to 1.24. On third down, had Rawls
run the ball #FreeOJ may have won. Instead the Seahawks decided to pass, and
P9’s season is back from the dead. This week 13 rematch should be one for the
ages.

7(9). Fire Goodell – Facts are facts. FG is undefeated since Bell returned. Next week they
have their full arsenal and face #FreeOJ, an opponent of equal strength. This
bubble team matchup could be a big one as the top and bottom teams begin to
separate from one another.

8(6).
#FreeOJ – #FreeOJ can’t catch a break. They benched their win and fall to 1-3
on the year. This is a rare sight for FOJ, who usually plays incredibly on the
odd years. Three of their next four matchups are against low scoring teams and
they’ll need to take each one to get back into the race.

9(4). TEAM MANBEARPIG – It seems Arts and Crafts Tony Romo was not a good pickup this
week. TMBP has posted lower and lower scores every matchup this season. At this
rate they should be in negative points by week 7. On the bright side, they are
the first team in league history to use the Injured Reserve spots on our
rosters. Yes, we have IR spots, yes I’ve tried to use them and failed but yes,
apparently there is a way. Also, they currently own the top scoring player in
the entire league…No, not Aaron Rodgers. Andy fucking Dalton.

10(10).
Reign Maker – I hate to do this to the reigning champ. I looked for any
possible excuse to put a fifth team in last place for my fifth power rankings,
but like I said it’s the Fantasy Gods that have the final word and not me. This
week they went with an old favorite, Ryan Fitzpatrick. For those who don’t
remember Fitzpatrick took Reign Maker to a Championship Game in 2011, so who is
to say The Bearded One can’t repeat the magic? Well, reality is to say. Luck
needs to get healthy and fast, RM is not going to repeat with Danny Woodhead
being the only productive player on the team (no offense to The Great
Woodhead).

MATCHUP OF
THE WEEK:

The
DiGennaro Bowl: GaroppoblowMe vs. Papa’s Posse

GaroppoblowMe
holds the all-time edge in this one 4-3 but Papa’s Posse has won three of the
last four matchups dating back to 2013. Not only is this a Battle of the Blood,
but through 56 regular season games these two franchise hold the EXACT SAME
record: 23-33. The winner will stay in first place while the loser will fall
back into the thick of the pack. My prediction: Not even the Fantasy Gods can
protect Papa’s Posse now.