Edward Fitzgerald

*"Wow, who knew it? I'm the victim in Nerd Or Noob. This must be my lucky day..."*
―Edward Fitzgerald[src]
**Edward Fitzgerald** is the husband of Amy Fitzgerald, the father of Tommy Fitzgerald, and Tully Grooberson's neighbor. Being picked by The Host to compete in *Nerd Or Noob*, Edward sought to win the ultimate jackpot, but due to The Host's unfair challenges, Edward was continuously pressured into thinking without his wife's help, causing him to come out unsuccessful. Edward, however, managed to win the jackpot, which he rejected when he discovered it was just one million little boxes. Unfortunately, The Host revealed that each box had one dollar in it, meaning that Edward rejected one million dollars, much to his disappointment.

## Origins

### Costume Pieces

* Dean Hair
* Escape Plan Skin (Custom Skin Tone Sticker)
* Lion Nose (Custom Skin Tone Sticker)
* White Teeth
* Fix Me Hook Hat T-Shirt (White Sticker)
* Jeans With a Belt (Dark Blue Sticker)
* Delsin Shoes (Black Stickers)

## History

### Getting Some Sleep

*"At work, I was bragging about how I'm better than my boss and he heard me, and he said that if I'm a better boss than him, then he's going to make me the assistant boss!"
"Well, let me finish my book and I'll turn off the lights okay?"
"Come on! I'm turning it off..."
"LISTEN YOU LITTLE SHITHEAD, I TOLD YOU AFTER I'M DONE WITH MY BOOK!"*
―Edward Fitzgerald and Amy Fitzgerald[src]

Edward Fitzgerald married Amy Fitzgerald, and lived with her in the Orlando Apartment with their three children, including Tommy, their youngest son. One day, while at work, Edward bragged about how he was better than his boss, prompting him to compromise with Edward, saying that if he proved to be a better boss than him, then he would make Edward the assistant boss. Returning to the Orlando Apartment that night, Edward hoped to get some sleep, so he could wake up tomorrow with enough energy to prove to his boss that he was better than him. Unfortunately, Amy refused to let Edward turn off the lights, because she was reading her book.

Upset with his wife, Edward questioned what was so important about that book. When Amy told Edward that she was reading *How to Make Your Husband Happy*, Edward told Amy that she could make her husband happy by turning off the lights. Amy got mad with her husband, saying that the book was written by a professional wife, so she told Edward to go screw himself if he believed he knew more. Edward decided to just put up with the discomfort and go to sleep with the lights on. Amy however, continued to mess with Edward, trying to prevent him from sleeping. When Amy started saying 1000 supporting words, Edward snapped, telling his wife to shut up. Amy, upset with her husband for yelling at her, decided to give him what he wanted, and turned off the lights to go to sleep. Unfortunately, Edward still couldn't get some rest, because Amy was snoring very loudly, causing him to go insane.

### Tommy's YouTube Channel

*"You just let our 7 year old son have a YouTube Channel. Don't you know what happens when little kids have Youtube Channels? They do crappy intros and become losers."
"So? It wasn't my fault he wanted a YouTube Channel. He was just annoying the Heavens out of me. Besides, at least he's not becoming a BIG loser like you, Edward."*
―Edward Fitzgerald and Amy Fitzgerald[src]

While reading the newspaper, Edward was rudely interrupted by Tommy, who asked if he could have his own YouTube Channel. Unfortunately, Edward refused to give Tommy what he wanted, mentioning that the last time Tommy had a YouTube Account, he used it to watch p\*\*\*. When Tommy corrected Edward, saying that he wanted a YouTube Channel, Edward still refused, causing Tommy to throw a tantrum, until Amy promptly decided to give up and let Tommy have his way. Edward became disappointed with his wife, concerned that Tommy would turn himself into a loser on YouTube, but Amy said that at the very least, Tommy wouldn't become a big loser much like his father, upsetting Edward.

### Meeting Tully Grooberson

*"Oh, hey! You must be our new neighbor! You need help there?"
"Ohhh, I think the door is jammed! Why won't it open! Ughhh! Why does this always happen to me..."
"Uhm... Have you tried pushing instead of pulling?"
"Oh... oh, poop."*
―Edward Fitzgerald and Tully Grooberson[src]

One day, a man named Tully Grooberson moved into the Orlando Apartment, taking the room located next to Edward's. When Edward decided to greet his new neighbor, he realized that Tully was having problems trying to open to the door to his room. Edward suggested that Tully tried pushing instead of pulling, so Tully decided to try that out, successfully pushing the door open.

### Victim in *Nerd Or Noob*

*"Oh Edward, wouldn't it be a miracle if he picked me?"
"Yeah, but there's a very little change that's happening."*
―Amy Fitzgerald and Edward Fitzgerald[src]

While hosting *Nerd Or Noob*, The Host sought to pick someone to come up to the stage to be the unlucky victim. Edward, who was in the crowd with his family, turned towards his wife Amy, who hoped to be picked by The Host so she could compete, though Edward doubted she'd be chosen. Edward's prediction came to be, but in an unfortunate twist of events, he ended up being chosen by The Host instead, much to his surprise. The Host told Edward to come up to the stage to participate, so he did, sarcastically saying this was his lucky day. Meanwhile, Edward's family became excited to see their father competing. The Host began to explain the rules of *Nerd Or Noob*, but Edward kept interrupting him by saying "Nah, really?". The Host got so upset, to the point that he threatened to kill Edward, just like he did to Jeremy Hox.

### Stupid Questions

*"Oh my God, GET AWAY FROM ME!!!"
"Hey! Watch it, you wouldn't want your butt cheeks to get red now, would ya?"*
―Edward Fitzgerald and The Host[src]

The Host gave Edward Fitzgerald his first question, asking him who was the first Queen of England. Unfortunately, The Host skipped the question when he realized that Amy was trying to help her husband cheat, by shouting out Mary Tudor's name. The Host told Edward to instead name one President of the United States who was still alive. Overhearing Amy listing multiple Presidents, The Host changed the question once more, this time asking Edward how long a day on the moon is.

Amy was about to give Edward the answer again, but The Host, upset with her constant pestering, told her to shut up, otherwise he would call security. Without Amy's help, Edward struggled to come up with his own answer. Before he could share it to The Host however, The Host told Edward that his time was up, causing him to suffer the penalty as punishment. Upon discovering that Shrek was his penalty, Edward begged the terrifying Ogre to get away from him. Thankfully, Jason Bermudez showed up to capture Shrek, causing Edward to be spared.

### The Ultimate Jackpot

*"I take back my prize. I mean, one million boxes? What kind of prize is that?"
"Okay then, but you should've listened to your wife because inside each little box is one dollar."
"And if there's one million of those little boxes, then that means..."*
―Edward Fitzgerald and The Host[src]

The Host decided to give Edward a shot at winning the ultimate jackpot. The Host promptly asked Edward if he was ready, but even though Edward stated he wasn't, The Host said that he didn't care. The Host then gave Edward his question, which was 23 plus 1. Unfortunately, the challenge was interrupted once more by Amy. This time though, Amy came up to the stage, so she could continue to help her husband cheat. Upset, The Host ordered security to remove Amy, leaving Edward behind to come up with the answer himself. Being under pressure, Edward spent the next six and a half hours trying to figure out what 23 plus 1 is. By that point, The Host got impatient, so he decided to give Edward a riddle instead. Edward became disappointed by this, saying he hated riddles. The Host gave Edward his riddle, saying that he's made by a man that doesn't want him or use him, he's sold to a man that needs him but doesn't use him, and that he's used by a man but he never wanted him.

When Amy returned to claim that she knew the answer, The Host urged her to shut up. This upset Edward, who didn't appreciate the way The Host was talking to her. When Edward threatened to put The Host in a coffin, he ultimately got the answer to the riddle correct. The Host congratulated Edward, saying that he had won the jackpot. Edward became surprised to hear this, until it was revealed that the jackpot was one million little boxes. Seeing no value in a prize like that, Edward rejected the jackpot, but the moment he did, The Host revealed the each box had one dollar in it. This meant Edward had rejected a one million dollar jackpot, much to his disappointment. Edward accused The Host for tricking him, but The Host said that maybe next time, he should let him finish speaking first.

### Messing With his Wife

*"Edward, I'm gonna frickin' not make you sleep, because I think it's funny and I think it's comedic, you dumb idiot!"
"Amy you dumb, stupid idiot of a wife, let me sleep or I'll beat you up like I did last night!"*
―Amy Fitzgerald and Edward Fitzgerald[src]
Edward Fitzgerald soon lost his son Tommy, who was unfortunately kidnapped by the Narrator. Meanwhile, Edward continued to live with Amy Fitzgerald in the Orlando Apartment. One night, while trying to get some sleep, Edward was harassed by his wife, he purposely tried to not make him sleep, because she thought it was funny and comedic, calling her a husband a dumb idiot. Edward called Amy a dumb idiot herself, threatening to beat her up if she didn't let him sleep. Realizing that Edward just threatened to commit domestic violence, Amy told Edward she was going to report him to the police and he would get cancelled and go to prison. Edward told Amy to not call the police, saying it was a joke.

## Relationships

* Tommy Fitzgerald - Son
* Unnamed Son
* Unnamed Daughter

Allies* Tully Grooberson - Neighbor
* *Shrekbusters* - Situational Allies
	+ Jason Bermudez - Savior
	+ The Host - Situational Enemy
* Shrek - Harasser

## Appearances

In chronological order:

* *LET ME SLEEP!*
* *When Little Kids Have YouTube Channels*
* *Shrekbusters* (Mid-Credits Scene)
* *Nerd Or Noob*
	+ *Nerd Or Noob 2*
* *LET ME SLEEP 2!*

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 *LET ME SLEEP!*
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 *When Little Kids Have YouTube Channels*
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 3.7 3.8 *Nerd Or Noob 2*
4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 *LET ME SLEEP 2!*
5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 5.2 *Shrekbusters*
6. ↑ *The Incredible Crew Christmas Special*