South Park Shorts Where's My Money A Family Guy Parody

*[The short starts]*

**Cartman:** Hey, it's me. Knock, knock. So, uh you got, uh, you got my money?

**Cartman's Cat:** Huh? Oh yeah, I'll pay you soon.

**Cartman:** Yeah, well, um here's a suggestion. Um, have the money by tomorrow and there won't be any problems.

**Cartman's Cat:** Huh?

**Cartman:** Yeah, 24 hours.

**Cartman's Cat:** Why, what-what happens in 24 hours?

**Cartman:** Huh? I dunno, I'm not psychic, man. I'm just saying it would probably be better for everybody if you had the money tomorrow.

**Cartman's Cat:** Uh, yeah, alright, I'll see what I can do.

**Cartman:** Sweet, sweet, great. Uh, how's everything else going?

**Cartman's Cat:** Good.

**Cartman:** Alright, alright. See you later. Don't forget! Nah, you're not gonna forget.

*[Later...]*

**Cartman's Cat:** *[coming out of shower, opens door]* Cartman? Yh, hey.

**Cartman:** Hey there. So, uh, it's been 24 hours. Got my money?

**Cartman's Cat:** Ah... You know what, just give me till next Friday, I'll have it for you.

**Cartman:** Oh. Oh, that's funny. I could've sworn I said have it today.

**Cartman's Cat:** Yeah, I don't have it, sorry.

**Cartman:** Oh, well, alright then. *[drinks orange juice]* Mmm, that's good O.J. *[smashes glass on his cat's head]*

**Cartman's Cat:** Aaargh! Aaarghh!!

**Cartman:** Yeah, that hurt?

**Cartman's Cat:** Aargh!

**Cartman:** That hurt?

**Cartman's Cat:** What the hell?! *[continues yelling]*

**Cartman:** Yeah, that don't feel so good, does it? No, huh? *[punches his cat]* Yeah, that's what happens, man!

**Cartman's Cat:** Oh, my God!

**Cartman:** Yeah, that's what happens. *[punches his cat again]* Where's my money?! You gonna give me my money? Where's my money, man?! *[Cartman's Cat coughs up blood, Cartman gets towel rack, continuously hits her with it]* Where's the money, man?! Yeah, you like that?! That feel good?! *[holds her head in toilet water, His cat starts screaming more and Cartman takes her out of the toilet]* Where's the money, man?! Where's my money?! You got till five o'clock. You hear me?! You got till 5 o'clock!

**Cartman's Cat** You freakin' psychopath!

**Cartman:** Yeah, clean yourself up.

*[Later...]*

**Cartman's Cat:** *[incognito]* Mornin'.

**Cartman:** Good day to you, sir. Wait a minute! What the hell?!

**Cartman's Cat:** Oh-h-h-h-- *[Cartman pushes her down the stairs]* Aaargh! Oh-ow-ow-ugh! Ohh... *[Cartman hits her head with golf club]* Argh!

**Cartman:** Getting real tired of you duckin' me, man!

**Cartman's Cat:** Oh, my God!

**Cartman:** Yeah, gettin' really tired. Huh?

**Cartman's Cat:** Ogh! Arg-argh!

**Cartman:** Where's my money?! Where's my money?! Yeah, you got money to pay for fake mustaches, huh? Yeah, huh? How much did you pay for that fake moustache?

**Cartman's Cat:** $2.99. *[Cartman takes out a pistol shoots her left knee]* Aaargh!! Ow! Oh! Oh..! Listen, you just gotta give me more ti...*[Cartman shoots her right knee]* Aaargh!

**Cartman:** Don't make a fool out of me, man. Don't make a fool out of me. I want my money. I want my money, man!

**Cartman's Cat:** Cartman, Listen, this is crazy, you got...Oh, my God! *[Cartman shoots his flamethrower at her]* Aaarrrgghhh! Aaagghh-aghh..! *[the flames extinguish itself]* All right, let's go the bank.

*[The short ends]*