Jigglikus

**Jigglikus** (Lord of Testicles) is the most powerful boss in the *Dungeons and Dragons* multiverse. Originally appearing in the *Ex-Men: All Out War* campaign accidentally written by inter-dimensional traveler Drax Javen in 1957 before Gary Gygax released D&D 1e. It quickly gained a cult following due to the appearance of Jigglikus, but every fan soon committed seppuku a few months after reading the source book. Only recently has the *Ex-Men: All Out War* campaign been reissued, reviving the Jigglikus cult.

## General Information

### Statistics

* Penis Length: At least 12 French inches
* Penis Girth: 3 English inches
* Ball Surface Area: 5 square meters
* Ejaculation Velocity: 1000 m/s
* Ejaculation Range: 70.69 meters
* Hair Color: Black
* Skin Color: Pale white
* Species: Alien Vampire
* Eye Color: White
* Tongue Color: White

### Personality

Jigglikus is boisterous, bombastic and heretical. He will easily get offended, which will lead to combat. Heeeeee is impossible, impossible to beat in combat. He is not a model man, not a savior or a saint. His hate of the Ex-Men order is well documented, and the slightest mention of them will send him into a fury. He is exceptionally sadistic, but does not mind CBT.

Jigglikus is quite prideful, and always desires to use his great testicular power to impress allies and enemies alike. He is known to despise testicular cancer, and has fund-raised trillions of Relis to combat it. On the other hand, he likes *Woman Worldwide* by the human band Justice.

As Jigglikus is a demigod, not much else can be known of his personality. He is an unknowable being, great and powerful, and any attempt to know his inner depths will curse the seeker with insanity.

### History

The cirCUMstances of Jigglikus' birth are unknown to all. He was likely born on the planet Trivallia, due to his Alien Vampire ancestry, but it is possible he was born to a family in diaspora. However, all historians conclude that his birth was most likely tragic. When he was 42, he earned the title of Lord of Testicles by destroying the Elder God of Sperm, Spermio. At some point after this, he stole a mystical Motherbox from Darkseid's fetish basement and hid it on a backwater planet called Earth. It would eventually be found by the supervillain the Kraang, who wished to use it to power his Ultimate Supernova Cock-Ring. Eventually, after an unknown period of time, Jigglikus retired to the town of George on the planet Trivallia. While there, he hid his abhorrent nature from the townsfolk, wearing pants for the first time in his life. None knew of his great power nor his sadistic personality, though both receded over the course of years. When The Grim Reaper formed the Brotherhood and began waging war on the Ex-Men forces, Jigglikus refused to come out of retirement and face the tyrant. Soon, The Grim Reaper turned his sight on Trivallia, hoping to capture Alien Vampires and drain them of their noxious blood. In an attempt to defend their allies, the Ex-Men sent a renowned strike force to intercept The Grim Reaper's goblin forces. While in pursuit of the hobgoplin army, the Ex-Men happened upon George and, upon revealing their allegiance, battled Jigglikus. Though the battle was fierce, Jigglikus was defeated when he ran into the rapier of one of the warriors nuts-first, painfully severing them. While writhing in pain on the ground, Jigglikus was set on fire, which agonizingly burned his body to death. His consciousness, however, lives on.

## Abilities

### Powers

**Thigh Resonance**

By moving his thighs at the speed of light, Jigglikus is able to create radioactive bursts of subatomic particles. If left unchecked, these particles will cause a thermonuclear explosion that will irradiate an entire planet. Jigglikus, however, will be left unharmed.

**Supersonic Ejaculation**

When climaxing, Jigglikus will spurt a fountain of semen from his penis. The semen flow moves at supersonic speeds, which can be used as a concussive blast similar to that of the X-Man Cyclops (no relation to the Ex-Men).

**Man-Eating Sperm**

His sperm consume flesh, and will rapidly grow after eating. At maximum, the sperm can grow to the size of a sperm whale. However, this requires one sperm to cannibalize the rest, which is unlikely to happen.

**Hypnotic Cock**

'Nough said.

**Immense Strength**

Jigglikus can, at maximum, bench press 40k kilograms.

**Super Speed**

Despite his rotund figure, Jigglikus can move up to mach 15 in normal atmosphere pressure.

### Weaknesses

**Alchemist's Fire Debilitation**

When exposed to Alchemist's Fire, Jigglikus will rapidly and painfully be burned to death.

**Ball Sensitivity**

Despite his power being centered in his ballsack, it is actually quite sensitive. He flaunts his testicles around to make it appear as though they are immune to pain, but they can be easily removed with a bladed weapon.

## TMNT X Pokemon

Jigglikus appears in Season 4 when he spiritully appear to guide the Kraang to fully take over New York Metropolitan Area.

## Trivia

* Jigglikus lost his virginity to the Black Panther at age 12.
* He used to be married until Namor cucked him and ran off with his wife.
* Jigglikus had a strong presence in the Nagorno Krabakh War
	+ He had no clue what happened it it
* He masturbates at least 7 times a day, like a chad
	+ He has 17 counts of public indecency
* He has never had a girlfriend
* He is a massive stan of King Slob
* His favorite *Beyblade*  is Storm Capricorn
	+ Let it rip
* He does not play electric bass
* For a time, he was Mission Control for the mining company Deep Rock Galactic
	+ He was fired for being a pointy-eared leaf lover
		- Also public masturbation
* He's wheels
	+ He's moving wheels
		- And also a dinosaur
			* Someone's digging up his bones
* He has only ever read Harry Potter and thinks it is the best book series ever
* He loved TF2 trading in his youth, hence his lack of personality and intense *love* for children
* He is occasionally the heart of the sunrise
* He gets suicidal every few centuries
	+ You could say he's, **CLOSE TO THE EDGE**
		- **DOWN BY THE RIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER**
* Is a Boku no Hero Academia fan
	+ Thinks BnHA is Boku no Picu
* Uh
	+ Fuck
* I got nothing else on him
* So...
* Uh........
* Here's the lyrics to *The Doorway* by Spock's Beard.
	+ You should listen to it
* *Piano Intro*
* I really don't care if you're not in my sight
	+ I really don't think but I think I'm right
	+ It don't bother me none if you're depressed or depraved
	+ 'Cause I'm not the one and you don't need to be saved
* As the sunrise comes down the doorway
	+ And the snow white falls like rain down an alley
	+ I'll be sending my light your way
	+ You are the doorway
	+ **YOU ARE THE DOOR**
* I really don't care if you lay it all down
	+ I really don't mind if you switch off the sound
	+ Put it in reverse we might sound better that way
	+ Say what you want 'cause it's all o.k.
* As the sunrise comes down the doorway
	+ And the snow white falls like rain down an alley
	+ I'll be sending my light your way
	+ You are the doorway
	+ You are the doorway
* **YOU ARE THE DOOR**
* What are you waiting for?
	+ What are you hoping will happen now?
		- Out of the sycamore darkness
		- The dye was cast
* Time has passed away
	+ Color in the world by numbers
	+ Masked in fear
	+ And you can't hear me say
* You are the doorway
	+ **You are the DOOR**
* As the sunrise comes down the doorway
	+ And the snow white falls like rain down an alley
	+ I'll be sending my self your way
	+ Don't you know
	+ **YOU ARE THE DOOR**
* I really don't care if you're not in my sight
	+ I really don't think but I think I'm right
	+ It don't bother me none if you're depressed or depraved
	+ 'Cause I'm not the one and you don't need to be saved
	+ I really don't care if you twist or you shout
	+ I really don't think what you think you're about
	+ It don't bother me none if you shoot under par
	+ 'Cause I know what I am and I know what you are
* As the sunrise comes down the doorway
	+ And the snow white falls like rain down an alley
	+ I'll be sending my life your way
	+ You are the doorway
	+ You are the doorway
	+ You are the door
		- You are the door
			* You are
* **THE DOOR**