Crystlon

Crystlon's Profile Picture

### Likes

Squares, Wheat bread, Programming, Puns, Art, Most animals, Reading, Vidya games, Dungeons & Dragons, Déjà vu, and probably other things

### Dislikes

White bread, Programming, Mild discomfort, Deciding what to eat, Déjà vu, and probably other things

### Recognizes Kosovo?

"Kosovo isn't an independent country @Crystlon"

*"I mean I could probably think of a quote if you give me some time. Wait, don't write that-"*

A local being describe as being both laid-back and insane. Whereabouts known, not wanted by the law.

## History

On the Wednesday of February 5th, 2003, Crystlon was born in Oregon. There's probably a lot of interesting stuff here, but he can't remember any of it except for breaking a pinky and throwing up potatoes au gratin. It was during this time, however, that he developed his interest in video games, LEGO, *Minecraft*, and *Sonic the Hedgehog.* According to his mother, Crystlon was playing video games without looking at the controller at only 3 years of age.

Throughout Crystlon's teen years, he faced a surprisingly mild amount of torment, compared to the average middle or high schooler. Not to say that he came out a better person, but he at least didn't develop any major mental illnesses or get bullied too much. Throughout this time, he managed to gain a girlfriend (because he drew Sans) and a boyfriend (because he is easily influenced by cute people), and lost both of them. It was during high school that Crystlon discovered three major aspects of himself; he was bisexual, he was a furry, and he needed glasses. Also, he met Vania, which was probably an important event.

After a year or so of ~~mooching off of his parents~~ taking a break from school, Crystlon went on to go to college. Despite failing a class for the first time in college, his higher education has proved both interesting and useful. He is currently going for a degree in general studies.

Crystlon got Discord at some point during High School, which lead him to meet many new friends (*and enemies*), eventually becoming one of the founding members of Patient Zero Weed. Crystlon is usually among the more sane members of the group chat, and is the most morally correct and *most humble* one.

On September 27th, 2023, Crystlon went to Saint Motel's *The Awards Show* as his first concert, and promptly had a religious experience.

## Powers and Abilities

**Really Cool:** Crystlon is *so cool*, you don't even know. He can deadlift like 500 tons and breathe in space. I hear his dick is 7 inches long.

**Slightly Enhanced Agility:** Crystlon can run fairly quickly at the cost of hurting his legs. He also claims to be able to jump very high, though the last time he tested this was in middle school.

**Art Skill:** Crystlon is a decent pixel artist and pencil artist. He'll also make memes and wojaks on occasion, sometimes by request.

**Cool Wizard Magic:** Crystlon can cast many spells, such as *lightning bolt, make slightly better,* and *drink water*.

**The Cold Hands of Death:** This is safe and normal.

## Quotes

* "Yeah."
* "Be cool and have fun."
* "***I NEED CUNNY!***"
* "I THOUGHT IT JUST MEANT NORMAL PUSSY"
* "I see him every day."
* "Revision: You may indoctrinate the orphans into the cult"
* "My butt."
* "*I love dick shoes*"
* "Drink some juice and pop that ice cube in your mouth"

## Trivia

* Crystlon’s sister originally wanted to name him “Trashcan.”
* Upon looking at Crystlon while walking by him on the sidewalk, A. J. Jackson laughed nervously.
* Crystlon has only ever broken bones in his right hand.
* Crystlon owns the skull of an indeterminate small rodent.
* By the way, you just lost The Game.

## Gallery

The worst image ever taken of CrystlonYoda incidentCrystlon having funCrystlon's cat, PeanutRecognizes Kosovo?
## Links

* Neocities
* Tumblr
* ~~Reddit~~
* Steam
* Furaffinity
* Twitch
* ~~Twitter~~
* Youtube
* Definitely *NOT* "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley