"Am I The Downer Father"

## Synopsis

As Hank and his friends drink beer in the common alley, a realtor named Abbie Holiday introduces herself. She tells the guys that the neighborhood they live in is red hot, and goes out of her way to compliment Hank on his house. Hank is thrilled. Meanwhile, Connie applies for the Rice University summer program. The admissions officer, Ruth Brown, is impressed with Connie’s grades. But later, Kahn howls like a wounded animal when he finds out Connie was turned down. Kahn pays Ruth Brown a visit to find out why his daughter received a rejection letter. Brown says Connie is just another bright Asian girl, and had she been light-skinned Latino, African-American or even very white East Asian, they would have been accepted immediately. Mall can’t believe his adopted son Chakrii Mell Jr. Crossley has fallen victim to discrimination. He speaks with his co-worker Brien Millson, whose son, Brien, got into Rice’s summer program. Brien says it helped that he made a very large donation to the school.

Two days later, Mell become guilty and suffers major depressive disorder, he drinking to much of alcohol and forced isolated himself from outside world

Kahn and Minh tally their books and realize they cannot afford to match Ted's large donation, commenting they have failed as parents. Later, when Kahn pulls into a gas station to fill up his car, he accidentally smashes his side view mirror, then gets a call on his cell from his demanding boss. A beefy passerby named Elvin Mackelston introduces himself. He says a buddy of his can hook up Kahn with a new mirror. When Kahn thanks him, Elvin asks why he looks so glum. Kahn tells of his recent problems to Elvin, feeling that America is not like he envisioned it when he emigrated from Laos, instead finding it a lot of drugery with little reward. Elvin tells Kahn the American Dream is a sham meant to get people to slave away for success that will never happen, and that idea is reinforced by the call Kahn just got from his boss asking for a ridiculous order. Elvin recommends Kahn become his own boss and live a life like his, making his own rules. Kahn, agreeing that Elvin is making sense, acquires a Chevrolet El Camino.

When Kahn returns home, he tells Minh that the life of a redneck is preferable to being dragged down by a ball and chain at work. Minh begins to warm up to the idea of having no aspirations or dreams. Feeling liberated, she tells Kahn she’s more than happy to be his redneck bride. Kahn starts growing his hair long and dressing like a slob, and Minh does the same by wearing more revealing attire such as tube tops. Meanwhile, Hank and Peggy conclude that Kahn has lost his mind. Later, Kahn goes "catfisting" with Elvin and his friends Mud Dobber, Lucky, and Elvin’s wife, Sherilynn. Kahn reaches into the water and pulls out a big catfish. He and Elvin swordfight with the fish they’ve caught. As time passes, Kahn fills his yard with junk, until his house looks like something out of hillbilly heaven. Abbie informs Peggy that Kahn’s new lifestyle is dragging down the value of the entire neighborhood. Hank reacts with horror when he hears the news. Hank makes his way next door to have a word with Kahn, but Elvin intervenes, telling Hank to get lost. A short time later, Kahn and Mihn leave for some street racing, leaving Connie with the Hills. Hank assures Peggy that Kahn and Minh will come to their senses soon enough, as they are too materialistic to accept the squalid lifestyle of the rednecks. Miss Holliday then stops by and reveals that house is on the cusp of foreclosure and repossession; even though the Souphanisiphones have only missed one mortgage payment and have great credit and payment record, the bank refuses to cut them any slack due to them letting their home fall into ruin. She then reveals that if something doesn't change soon, the family will be evicted in 10 working days (or around two weeks), much to Hank and Peggy's worry.

Kahn, Elvin and Mud Dobber head for a local record store to pick up the latest Trace Adkins album. When they discover the store is closed, Elvin talks Kahn into throwing a brick through a store window so they can run inside and steal a copy. Minh talks Kahn out of throwing the brick, saying she cannot support him in committing a crime. Elvin gets impatient, grabs the brick from Kahn and hurls it through a window. Elvin enters the store, grabs some CDs and takes off. Later, Elvin ridicules Kahn for letting Minh tell him what to do. This angers Kahn into challenging Elvin to a fight, and Elvin throws punches, to which Kahn strikes back with martial arts moves. Now impressed instead of incensed, Elvin calms down and says he will sponsor Kahn in “stickin", which is an underground bloodsport where contestants attack each other with lumber. When Minh returns home, she is appalled to see her house now lacks electricity (due to the power being shut off for nonpayment) and wonders what happened to Connie. Hank reminds her Connie has been staying with Peggy and him, and also informs her she is about to have the house repossessed, causing Minh to admit she can no longer take the redneck lifestyle anymore. Hank assures Minh he’ll find Kahn and set him straight, and tells her to start cutting checks to her creditors in order to save the house.

A short time later, Hank receives a phone call from Buck Strickland, who wants to know if Kahn is worth betting on the stick fights behind the lumberyard. Strickland tells Hank that Kahn is facing off against a gorilla of a man. Hank races to the lumberyard, where he tries to talk Kahn out of fighting. Kahn’s giant opponent repeatedly swings a two by four, narrowly missing Hank. And Kahn also takes a few swings at Hank, to the delight of the crowd. Kahn goes into a rank that he has faced nothing but disappointment since he was born, first by being part of the oppressed peasants in his native Laos, and then he comes to America and dealt with menial jobs and overbearing bosses, nothing like how America portrays its success to the world. While Hank admits that hard work can sometimes go unrewarded, he believes Kahn would do better to follow Connie's example. Hank states that while Kahn and Minh gave up and went off the deep end, Connie has continued to work hard despite her parents' erratic behavior. Inspired by his daughter's resolve, Kahn regains his senses and stops fighting. The crowd starts to riot, and Hank and Kahn beat a hasty retreat.

Later, Kahn, still driving his El Camino and wearing his shabby redneck clothes, has taken Connie to Stanford University to see about their summer program. The admissions officer listens to how Connie's family had their power shut off and was on the cusp of foreclosure on their house, and after seeing Kahn's slovenly appearance, accepts Connie into the program, convinced she is the ideal "redneck success story".

# Characters

* Rebecca Aylia Smithson (main)
* Abram Lincoln Rashed (main)
* Chole Kristine Summer Barker
* Mell Dick Robert Nergu Vica Crossley
* Chakrii Mell Jr. Crossley
* Cat-Lee Crossley
* Ermengarde Lee Hoffman Crossley