recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Harriet

A plump short woman with braided blond hair, she wears a stained apron over a simple, white gown on most of her days. She looks to be in her forties but she kept much of her youthful features, telling of her once-dazzling beauty. Her cheeks are reddened from the heat and fumes and hard work, enhancing her pulchritude and warming the hearts of even grizzled men.

* Co-owner and barmaid of The Sleeping Fox

* Cheerful unless trouble stirs in the Fox

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Riddler's Creek

**Riddler's Creek** is a river fed by the runoff of the distant and as yet unexplored northern mountains. The river itself feeds The Sapphire Bowl lake near to Angler's Trove, where the cold water meeting the estuary of the sea creates a large confluence of native fish that the colonists exploit as a food source.
Dirok

Dirok is a 5'11” androsvin. Although not very tall, his wide frame turns a lot of heads. Scars, bruises and whip marks are visible on his skin between the sparse pieces of armor. He looks out of place in the somewhat cheery atmosphere of the "The Sleeping Fox",where you are likely to find him drinking in a dark corner.

He comes from Ambrath, from the far east. Captures as a child, he toiled his days in the fighting pits of 'noble' men, each day a fight for survival, each day yearning freedom more and more. He finally managed to escape by tricking the guards and kidnapping the son of the lord that kept him captive.
Insane Clown Posse

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> these are unknowable creatures, imprisoned in a cramped pocket dimension beneath the royal palace by the first Clown Emperor at the beginning of clowntime. the palace servants, whose quarters are even deeper underground than the dungeons and jokeboke archives, can sometimes hear the strange sounds they produce, or feel their presence in their dreams. many of those that have grown up in servant families now find these noises familiar and comforting. in some cases, they are unable to sleep without at least listening to a recording of the clatterings and moanings that reverberate nightly through the lower floors. several noted anti-royalists have speculated that these creatures may in fact be a long-term hoax to justify the emperor’s rule, or even that their freedom might be preferable to the current order, but they dont usually get further than that. even mentioning them is deeply illegal. [1]
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Crass Gnomey

**Crass Gnomey** is a marotte who feeds on curves, enabling stubtypes to be able to hold them.

## Description

>
> it should be apparent to even a casual clownspotter that stubtypes must be immune to the influence of marottes, lacking fingers to curl around their humourtocyst-laden tendrils. this assumption was put to rest with the arrival of Crass Gnomey in clown-adjacent dimensions; this marotte feeds on curves and circles, sucked out of the air around them. when the hard, bony nodules that make up the stubs of stubtypes come into contact with Crass’ field, they are painfully mutated into papery triangular claws, which can grasp for the first time – and Crass is sure to be the first thing they grasp. after a couple of seasons of exposure, the host can scarcely be called a clown at all – surely a fate worse than death. [2]
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Young Porgo

**Young Porgo** is a Wheelad who works for royal clowns.

## Description

>
> Young Porgo, one of the many urchins employed by nobleclowns to follow them around and provide appropriate musical stings for their gags. he has witnessed all kinds of debauchery and heard all kinds of foul and inappropriate humour over his time in service, but has long ago decided it is best not to dwell on it all. he and his eleven siblings, all freelance percussionists themselves, like to wind down after a long day of churning out beats by smoking trickcigars and swapping juicy goss and scandals about their employers. Porgo, however, is a serious lad and only partakes half-heartedly. he could not get off his unicycle if he wanted to, and cannot wait to sell his legs and retire. he is actually around twenty six. [2]
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Aaron Calmar

Aaron comes from House Calmar of the land of Rarano, a land of misty hills and fable-like palaces. As a noble's son, he's entitled to the Duchy of Calmar should his father pass, though the Duchy is in dispute at the moment. This is because Aaron's father, Varnard Calmar, has gone quite mad, and has locked himself in the duchy palace - and unfortunately the family gift of magic has made extricating him out of the palace to be nearly impossible thanks to the wards and creatures he's placed on the grounds. So, Aaron, being the only child of Varnard and Casimilla, his mother who ran off with a young stablehand right before Varnard's madness set in, Aaron, by ten years of age, was being raised more by the peasant workers of the duchy than by any parental figure. It was through 10 to 18 that Aaron felt his first callings of magic in his veins - and began learning his Sorcerer ways. Now at 22, he's secured the Duchy with workers and knights who will maintain the property on his behalf, as Aaron braves off for a fabled "New Continent". He wants, no, NEEDS a cure for his father's madness, or at the very least to strip him of his power. And if he gets to demonstrate the power of House Calmar's draconic origins while he's at it, so be it.

Physically he's mostly still human, though he's developed small bronze horns in his temples, green slit-eyes, and his skin is slowly starting to be replaced with bronze scales. His bones and nails are also becoming darker and tougher, and the changes will only deepen as he taps more and more into his draconic bloodline.

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Darren James

**Darren James** is a Stubtype who is famous for being a prize fighter.

## Description

>
> Darren James, a prizefighter known for her finishing move: removing her opponents nose with her teeth. business has dried up for her somewhat in recent clownyears, with few violence-inclined clowns willing to part with their noses. despite this, she makes a point of refusing work as a clownmafia thug or palace guard, preferring to spend her retirement on her secondary passion: new clownage drug-gardening. she often appears in royalist propoganda or after school specials to pay the bills, always with the haze of her latest experimental crop visible in her eyes. she is a good-natured sort, and likes to keep the noses she has collected in a fruitbowl in her living room, to shock and amuse her guests. [2]
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Ole Soggy

**Ole Soggy** is an Egghag who runs a clown hatchery.

## Description

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> Ole Soggy, overseer of the local clown hatchery. she routinely visits the moist underground caverns where clutches of papery clown eggs are left to fester and rot until ready for life. she meticulously paints faces on each of the freshly woven eggs, dictating on a whim their mood, features and level of future attractiveness, lest they be born without faces, and we all know how people like that turn out. known as a spinster in her small and conservative village, Ole is in fact rather spritely by most clownstandards, only in her early twohundreds. though socially excluded for her eggy stench, she is contented in her work and considers herself married to her job. [2]
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Clodney Pilchard

An artist's rendition of Clodney Pilchard, or perhaps an image of Clodney Pilchard as an Accursed.

### Faction

Wisefool, Accursed

**Clodney Pilchard** is a wisefool who was the Clown Emperor's third husband. He was Accursed for the crime of embezzlement.

## Description

>
> the Clown Emperor’s third husband, now Accursed. the favourite of all the imperial consorts, according to the Emperor’s long line of biographers, all now incidentally also Accursed. once a talented and ambitious but clownpenniless Wisefool apprentice living on the desolate ring around the capital planet, young Clodney Pilchard as he was once known would often look upon the spires of the palace and dream of one day knowing what it was like to be inside. he soon became bored of dreaming and decided to just go inside. he crawled up the pipes, and though covered in sewage managed to catch the Emperor’s eye at the grand clownsolstice ball the court happened to be holding that evening. after dancing with Clodney, the Emperor was, as far as anyone could make out, smitten with the threepronged youth. Pilchard was not so well-liked by the other members of the court, who were in fact seethingly jealous and soon had him framed for clownembezzlement and placed in the Hall of the Cursed. seeming unusually content in his lot for an Accursed, interviewers and his languishing hallmates sometimes ask him if he regrets his choices or his marriage. “its fine” he usually says “as long as im inside.” [2]
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## Relationships

* He was the Clown Emperor's third husband.
Mistress 99pence

**Mistress 99pence** was a Wisefool who is currently caught in a bit of a time loop.

## Description

>
> MIstress 99pence, pictured here shortly before beginning their Wisefool training. during the clowneconomy boom, a master of japes wyrd and arcane, Pissliacci, was struck by their potential among thousands of power-hungry young jesters who auditioned for her at her Humourdome every day. a certain glint in their eyes, a certain BPM in their voice and a certain texture in their nostrils indicated to Pissliacci the sheer scope of their comedic and mystical talents before they had so much as demonstrated their opening gag. she immediately took 99pence on as her apprentice despite knowing full well that they would inevitably murder her and steal her secrets [2]
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> Mistress 99pence, pictured here after the sprouting of their third tendril. realizing that their education was soon to end, Pissliacci summoned her apprentice and taught them the Final Joke, the joke that every master Wisefool knows but never says because comedy material is a scarce resource in the Clownworlds and plagiarism par for the course. naturally, as soon as the punchline had entered 99pence’s ears and been stored in their headprongs, they pushed Pissliaci into her own pool of custard and watched impassively as her knowing smile disappeared into the gloop. when 99pence, drunk with the thrill of gay betrayal, screamed their teacher’s last words from the roof of the Humourdome, they found themselves transported 50 years back in time and into the body of Pissliacci, doomed by their relentless self-interest to re-teach all their knowledge back to themself infinitely, and realizing that while 99pence may now have the Final Joke, Pissliacci had the Last Laugh. [3]
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## Relationships

* She was Pissliacci's apprentice, and, in a very confusing series of events, she was also Pissliacci herself.
Senator Curdles

**Senator Curdles** is the Clouncillor of Clownmoon 120.

## Description

>
> Senator Curdles, a member of the Lunar Council and ambassador of Clownmoon 120. she is a no-nonsense type, and finds all the royal decrees requiring mandatory nonsense very irritating. a known proponent of comedic realism, she is well-disliked by the other council members for always keeping meetings going another fifteen minutes and constantly mentioning how her clownfish are doing. clown politics is a relatively recent invention, a complete mess and mostly for show, so the main job of the council is to regulate illegal jokes and try to keep tabs on the most notorious Bastards. Curdles own son contracted Bastardism a few years previously, but in the end she is just pleased that he made something of himself instead of becoming a wastrel or getting into humorous surrealism like he had always threatened. in her spare time she is the president of the Jinks Leggins fanclub.[2]
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Rasberries Rotten

Rasberries Rotten (center), posing with The Ghostmakers.

**Rasberries Rotten** is a Jester of the Court and royal executioner.

## Description

>
> Rasberries Rotten, the lord high executioner. most clowns cannot be killed by traditional methods, and her main job is to wield the Ghostmakers, who are Accursed objects forged by an ambitious funeral director. one is vain and sporty, the other shy and passive-aggressive. RR herself must mediate their squabbles and assign their unique deathstyles to those condemned. she has been trained from a young age for her position, and spends most of her free time writing poetry, which she scrawls inside palace lavatory cubicles, too self-critical to post them online. occasionally she will receive a review from one of the Jesters of the Court who has been forced to spend a long time inside a cubicle for whatever reason. [2]
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Hosey

**Hosey the Laugh-Bottler** is a stubtype who sells bottled laughs.

## Description

>
> Hosey the Laugh-Bottler, who makes a hobby and small business of stealing the last laughs from the lips of dying clowns and placing them in vintage mason jars. these jars are prized by laugh-collectors, jar-collectors, death-enthusiasts and comedians past their prime who long to hear a chuckle again + relive their olden golden days + waste their royalty money. the laugh economy is fairly busted, as clowns are each other’s worst critics and new jokes are in short supply, so she does pretty well. stop by Hosey’s laugh emporium for only the best Giggles, Titters, Guffaws, Chortles ; You Want It She’s Got It. [2]
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New Bayonetta Enemy

**New Bayonetta Enemy** is a marotte who feeds on the output of the Church of Tears.

## Description

>
> a rare visitor to the clownrealms, for reasons which should become self-evident, the being known only as “New Bayonetta Enemy” is usually spotted passing through the funnystreams in search of holy ground, its favourite thing to eat. though a clown or two might wind up throttled by Enemy’s powerful arms, they’re usually fine after it realises that there’s nothing holy about them, and awkwardly flutters away. if it encounters a Church of Tears facility on its visits, however, all hell breaks loose – or possibly heaven, depending on how well-defended the facility is at the time, and how much stock of pope-quality tears they have to protect. this is a file photo from a long-destroyed installation; the Church of Tears brand of building is recognised by the joyless, textureless grey of its walls. [2]
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Roll-Poll

**Roll-Poll** is a Marotte who is very angry about being so underdeveloped.

## Description

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> Roll-Poll, the runt of his mulch-litter. he never grew much bigger than a Topper, only rounder, and he’s been bitter ever since. his resentment now actually fuels him, and he’s well aware of this, which only serves to make him even more bitter about and towards other marottes for enjoying such fine delicacies as “fire”, “custard”, and “souls”. [2]
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Dead Luscius

**Dead Luscius** is a ghostly clown who enjoys tormenting the living.

## Description

>
> Dead Luscius. a prominent ghost activist. she is spiteful of the living, with a particular hatred of all those involved in the funereal arts. often she employs Wisefools to channel her essence, paying them in gossip from the underworlds. she misuses her time on the mortal coil mocking mourners, heckling newborns, and defacing newlyweds (sometimes literally de-facing them). rather than being viewed as a public nuisance, she is tolerated for her mastery of comedic timing (a very easy thing to master when you are a spirit and thus divorced from the mainstream timestream). this is a rare and probably lightly-to-moderately cursed image of her body after her zooting, a banned form of death not practised since the 1980s. [2]
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The Worst

**The Worst** is a Big Bastard and an Accursed who leads The Paper Army.

## Description

>
> once a fearsome Bastard indeed, this clown fell prey to the wrath of the former Emperor, who was not as confined to the psychic perimeters of the palace as their successor and liked nothing more than to while away the afternoon with a good old fashioned Bastard Hunt . the first to ever stage a breakout from the Hall of the Accursed, this nameless figure (they usually introduce themselves simply as The Worst, which, possibly, is their actual given name) betrayed and ditched all their Accursed co-conspirators just as they were making their escape. they were, for a brief time, pursued doggedly by the former Emperor’s agents until everyone lost interest in the whole affair. this lack of media coverage is simply perfect for The Worst’s purposes, as they are now secretly building an army to take revenge on the clown-crown. unfortunately, all their soldiers are also paper cut-outs with generally useless personalities.[2]
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Rancide McStarfucker

**Rancide McStarfucker** is a wisefool capitalist in the travel industry.

## Description

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> i can tell you without a doubt that you are looking at one Rancide McStarfucker, a big cheese in the travel industry. the big R.M.S has a monopoly on all the various methods of traversing through clownspace (including but not limited to stage magic teleportation, comically tiny spaceships, and being shot out of a canon, the latter usually reserved for the wealthy, who can afford to be put back together on the other side). if he had any arms, you could say he has a finger in every pie. his latest innovation is a substance that allows you to hop between clownmoons instantaneously, the only downside being that your physical form stays at home while your ghost does the roaming. no clown has yet managed to figure out whether it is a scam or not. known as Rancy to his friends and a select few of his enemies, he is a master of the lost Wisefool art of Jiggery Pokery, incidentally the same game he lost his body in. after being gambled away said body became an unpaid intern at a rival company. [2]
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Jinks Leggins

**Jinks Leggins** is a clown and a famous performer.

## Description

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> Jinks Leggins, master of ceremonies for the yearly tv special that marks the anniversary of the Clown Emperor’s conception. a polarizing figure indeed, Jinks’ comedic style has been described as “accessible” “erotic” and “heavily shenanigan-based”. no one has ever seen them outside work. a popular urban legend goes that their legs are in fact enhanced with the deft use of cgi animation, but this is easily disproved, as the special is always broadcast live. over the years a few of their jokes have been interpreted as subtle political satire, and/or cheeky digs at their superiors. [2]
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She of Leaves

She of Lips (left), She of Snow (center), and She of Leaves, (right), posing together. Perhaps this photo is evidence they are not a single entity.

### Faction

Unexplainable

**She of Leaves** is an Unexplainable who heralds the season of Leavestime.

## Description

>
> She of Lips, She of Snow and **She of Leaves**. while generally thought to be one clown who only changes her outfit once every few clownmonths, these three are responsible for maintaining the seasons of the Clownworlds. they dont do a very good job, often getting into squabbles about who should be next, how long each season should be, and what properties each season actually has. their usual tactic for resolving debates is to kidnap each other’s love interests. Snow is the most consistent in her theme, but Leaves is always trying to change hers, having decided upon it after smoking several ripe ghosts. Lipstime is always the hardest part of the year. [2]
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## Relationships

* She is sisters with She of Lips and She of Snow, and in fact, the 3 of them may be the same clown.
The Widow

**The Widow** is a marotte who consumes unwanted husbands.

## Description

>
> mother of Madame du Bloop and Kitty the Heiress, the Widow is occasionally mistaken for her successful youngest daughter. ingratiating herself into the social groups of big, famous, and bigamous clowns, the Widow becomes an invaluable confidant in the matter of husbands. when a Wisefool bemoans his gem-addicted spouses – when a Jester of the Court needs someone to vent to about the occasionally literal juggling act of married life – the Widow will be there, and, lacking shoulders, offering a neck to cry on. and when they decide, sometimes from her machinations but often of their own accord, that they’d be better off without the hassle of a husband or two, the Widow offers her services, slurping up the excess husbands from reality and tenderly reassuring her anxious host that they’re doing the right thing. when husbands are thin on the ground, she puts ads for her services on the deep web. she has a cordial, professional rivalry with the ghost that impersonates dead wives. [2]
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## Relationships

* The Widow is the mother of Madame du Bloop and Kitty the Heiress.
POD

**POD** is a marotte who is currently wandering in search of a diet.

## Description

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> it may be purely academic to try and pin down the age of any marotte, given their freedom from time and other conventional dimensions. the exception is POD, a marotte who has yet to decide their preferred diet, and seems to be on a youthful “gap eon”, exploring the clownmoons at their own leisure and occasionally tagging along with a bonded marotte and its host; a parasite on top of a parasite. if POD has understudy mini-marottes of their own, they’ve never mentioned it. [2]
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Maggie Marsh

**Maggie Marsh** is a marotte who feeds on clowns' memories.

## Description

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> surfing across the clownmoons on the sounds of nervous laughter, the marotte Maggie Marsh is known for two things: their commitment to thematic alliteration, and their preferred diet, which is the memories of clowns. they would phrase them as ‘many’ things, and the memories of 'mimes’, but such is fate. Maggie is one of the more popular marottes, among those who study such things, both for her neurotically easy-going nature and the fact that many clowns would rather forget most of their lives, if only to free up headspace for new-ish jokes. [2]
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Doc Block

**Doc Block** is a Marotte who is famous for feeding on other clowns' disease.

## Description

> Doc Block, a marotte who has dedicated her life to helping clownkind. her distinguished squareness is due to absorbing an entire cubic vat’s worth of clownmulch during her infancy. she was eventually broken out as an adult by eggs-seeking ex-doctors. in gratitude, she decided to take the concept of disease as her preferred foodstuff, and her walk-in, fly-in, die-in clinic and belly are never empty, as clowns line up for a chance to lay their afflicted fingers on the Doc’s healing handle. her Sickfuck rescuers give her the cold shoulder, for her work has cut deeply into their online egg-supplement sales. [2]
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Countess Fun

**Countess Fun** is an unexplainable who enjoys consuming clown eyes.

## Description

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> Countess Fun, reclusive Unexplainable eye-collector. she is scornful of company as she has been burnt more than once by eye-traders taking advantage of her own eyelessness to charge her a fortune for bowls of peeled grapes. she is the sister of Goodness Gracious, who she now resides with in their shared loft apartment in the Stinking Hills, a popular wasteland riddled with Unexplainables of all natures and physical manifestations. Gracious still draws substantial alimony checks from her ex, the Clown Emperor, but not enough to satisfy the Countesses insatiable (literal and metaphorical) hunger for only the finest eyes. at odds as both siblings and roommates, they often grow frustrated with one another. but still spend their evenings sitting on the couch together to mutually indulge in a fridgeful of priceless eyeballs, placing them in their sockets, catching a few seconds of the late night clown-news, then letting them be slowly melted by optical digestive juices before inserting a fresh pair.[2]
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## Relationships

* She is the sister of Goodness Gracious.
Yarnel the Freckled

**Yarnel the Freckled** is a Wisefool who enjoys bursting into secret wisefool meetings.

## Description

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> Yarnel the Freckled, a capricious and go-getting Wisefool, whatever those words mean. in a faction such as his that places such importance on the age of the sage, the order/sub-clique he belongs to, and what rank of disapproving council he holds in that particular clique, one clown is determined to give the system such a pranging it wont know what hit it, and that clown is Yarnel. though his more successful japes have been called “beginners luck” by wiser fools than he, he is known throughout knowledge-connoisseur circles for his habit of bursting into secret meetings (most often about Wisefool matters, but they can be about gossip, recipe-swapping, or anything really) and saying “listen here pops, things are gonna be different around here see, times are changin see, we need to inject some young blood into these old saggy veins see, somethins gotta give see and im gonna be the one to do it if ya follow me see” to which any elders present invariably respond with some variation of “yes, Yarnel. quite.” [2]
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Money

**Money** is a clown who is considered very, very evil.

## Description

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> Money, the daughter of the dastardly Finance Ministers, takes a selfie on the day of her graduation from Clown College. at the tender age of 130 she has already established herself as a major intergalactic force of evil, responsible for the death, humiliation and inconveniencing of thousands. her masterful cyberbullying campaign against all alternate universe do-gooder versions of herself is well documented, but undoubtedly her greatest work of malice is the almost imperceptibly subtle manipulation of events that led to the Church Of Tears rise to prominence (the basis of her senior dissertation). she has already made plans to kill and usurp both her corrupt politician fathers. despite, or most likely because of this, they could not be more proud of her. [2]
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## Relationships

* She is the daughter of two unknown Finance Ministers.
Avaryx Cackyl-Ruffyl

**Avaryx Cackyl-Ruffyl** is a Capitalist who teaches Jesters of the Court alongside Myss Vycyous.

## Description

> Avaryx Cackyl-Ruffyl, matron of a prestigious cliff-side academy for aspiring Jesters of the Court, accompanied by her marotte and co-founder Myss Vycyous. the two met each other during one of Avaryx’s routine trips to the royal archives, looking for dirt on her more well-preserved rivals, where she stumbled upon the withered Myss in a previous emperor’s safe-deposit box. it was love-for-money-at-first-sight, or syght; Avaryx gave up the letter “i”’s in her name to feed the wilting, alphabet-craving marotte, who, in return, whispered the one weird trick to courting imperial favour to her new host, giving them all they needed to swindle generations of desperate Jesters out of their money and their “i”’s. students are put through gruelling year-long courses and into gruelling eon-long non-disclosure agreements before they are told the well-advertised Trick. current and former courtiers alike hate them.[2]
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## Relationships

* She wields Myss Vycyous, who gives her knowledge in exchange for the letter *i*.
Snivels the Foul

**Snivels the Foul** (once known as **Snivels the Suave**) is a powerful Bastard who used to be an interpretive dancer.

## Description

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> Very few clowns can claim corruption on the level of Snivels the Foul, pictured here clad in the maligned Robe of Sin, a garment he claims has the power to give or take away luck - in actuality, he sewed it himself in an effort to intimidate his foes, though very few clowns know of this fact.
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> At one point, Snivels was known as “Snivels the Suave” - a talented interpretive dancer with a bright future. Though this career took him through the first few thousand years of his life, considered early for a dancer, far too much pressure was put on his shoulders. When it came down to the most importance performance of his life, a gala where many of the Jesters of the Court would be attending, Snivels could not move past his nerves and ended up messing up his dance in a major way. The Jesters all laughed at him as he failed, and the show quickly turned from a celebration of talent to a show of the potential for great cruelty within nearly all clowns.
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> That night, he was dubbed “Snivels the Foul” by the Jesters.
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> Humiliated, Snivels abandoned his work as a dancer and took to the criminal underworld of Clown Moon XII. He started his criminal work as something of a foolpimp, sending out his fellow clowns to indulge in the darkest, most debaucherous japes imaginable. He became infamous for this, and soon became one of the most well-known figures in the clown underworld. Since those days, he’s risen to the top, becoming a clown crime boss. His whereabouts are unknown - some speculate that he’s dead, but the wise know that he’s simply biding his time. [2]
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Pag

**Pag** is a clownopera star closely associated with the marotte Cav.

## Description

> Pag and Cav, adopted daughters of Vesti “Red Giant” LaWubb, star of clownopera until her self-imposed exile to a private asteroid commune, after the decline in popularity of humorous operas in favour of humorous anything else. the pair live quite well within their means, releasing a recompiled booklet of celebrity scandals every year, or whenever they remember a particularly wild story of tears both shed and imbibed at family parties, to which their mother would invite a gaggle of old clowntenors, a few art critics, and no-one else. for her part, Vesti only despairs at their lack of ambition, right before doing another line of priceless lunar gems. Cav, the marotte, eats criticism and critics, and so stuffs their collective works full of entry-level clickbait commentary and naked speculation in order to attract them, to the stuffier, artistic Pag’s chagrin. [2]
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## Relationships

* Pag is Vesti LaWubb's adopted daughter.
* Pag wields Cav, Cav being the showier of the two. Cav consumes criticism, which the pair generates in excess.
A Most Distasteful Man

**A Most Distasteful Man** (true name unknown) is an Unexplainable who enjoys being incredibly annoying.

## Description

>
> a spirit of unpleasant sensory experiences. saying its true name makes you feel like you just stepped in something wet, so everyone simply refers to it as A Most Distasteful Man. it has no friends or hobbies and only lives to trail its coloured tendrils over randos, screeching in overplayed delight at their sudden discomfort. it will take any opportunity to scream its catchphrase, “Gotten! Gotten! Youve been gotten by Me!”, later altered to end in “You fucker!”, perhaps in an attempt to keep up with the times. there was a short-lived meme a few years ago where one would summon it by reciting its favourite joke, then set it on whoever one pleased, as it is rather weak and cannot manifest long without help/a specific target to Get. it was banned shortly afterwards as everyone became tired of its shit. [2]
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Rash

Rash, pictured here with the Black Box of Reality.

**Rash** is a marotte who guards the Black Box of Reality.

## Description

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> Rash, keeper of the black box of reality, which will allow god to figure out what went wrong if it crashes, or so it is said. notoriously long-lived though they are, clowns don’t last nearly long enough to act as the custodians of the box, and they were always trying to balance on it, mix it up with other boxes, or get their fingers trapped in the hole. Rash, a dull sort, who came up with the idea of feeding on themself and therefore became cyclically immortal, is prone to no such mischief, though they are permitted to hibernate with their handle stuck inside the box during harsh clownwinters. [2]
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Rodeo clown

A **Rodeo Clown** is a clown, possibly a type of actor, who participates in clown rodeos, whatever they may entail.

## Description

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> as you are all no doubt aware, the job of the rodeo clown in bull-riding contests is to come between a fallen rider and the bull, risking life and limb to distract the animal. in a world of all clowns, all the time, this is the only part of the rodeo. for bull, substitute Bastard, Unexplainable, or whatever other suitably large, furious, and saddle-able entity the organisers might procure, with an eye to satisfying the bloodlust of the rodeo-going clownpublic. rodeo clowns require speed, agility, and the ability to anticipate their opponent’s next move. [1]
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Lopside

**Lopside** is a Marotte who was killed by Bastards. It was later brought back to live, and it currently serves as a spot-removal tool.

## Description

> the undead marotte Lopside, in a contemplative mood. attacked as a hostless juvenile by a band of aerial Bastards, who had recently gone a-rustling at a nearby balloon animal ranch, Lopside remains one of the only marottes to have been killed by entirely “ordinary” clowns, though this once-in-a-timeline event was spoiled when they chose to reanimate it through dastardly, Bastardly means. it now resides in the local Big Bastard’s vault, down, down in Bastardtown, where it is taken out to drain the spots off any Bastard that gets too big for their britches, which, objectively speaking, would be all of them. it’s a living, Lopside thinks.[2]
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Blind Wilbur

**Blind Wilbur** is a famous Handler.

## Description

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> Blind Wilbur, trainer of those wretches condemned (by themselves) to be Circus Animals. he puts his clients through torturous trials intended to sculpt them for stardom in the ring, mainly jumping through flaming hoops, balancing on flaming balls, eating flaming volunteers, and generally building up to a +7 immunity to the element of fire. however, this cruelty is only reserved for those who are willing to pay him. he auctioned off his eyes for charity in 1993 to Countess Fun, a noted collector of sensory organs. Wilbur is always accompanied by his business partner, a reptilian Animal named Trent, whose eyes he also threw in as a bonus. Trent emits a constant wail of half-humanoid anguish that allows the clown to navigate through the use of echolocation, much like a Dolphin, the most common kind of Circus Animal. [2]
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Ponzi Bear

**Ponzi Bear** is a marotte and Circus Animal.

## Description

> Ponzi Bear, an unusually articulate Circus Animal. discovered out in the woods as a jobless and hairless Dobber by a ringmaster whose motto was “nobody’s perfect”, Ponzi was lodged with the troupe’s Circus Animals for lack of space. each brush of a porcelain hoof or paw against their handle left their companions balder and young Ponzi hairier, less clownish. finally, one fateful night, as the Handlers slept, Ponzi snuck out to the big mirror surrounded by bare lightbulbs (powered by a giant Circus Animal hamster on a treadmill), gasped, and spoke their first words: “I’m Animal, mama.” this has since become a minor meme, as well as the crux of their act. they have no idea that they are a marotte, though they are tormented nightly by dreams of the marotte homeverse. [2]
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The Clownverse Wiki

## Welcome to the The Clownverse Wiki!

This is the unofficial wiki for documenting the canon of The Clownverse, a tale of laughter and tears spun at ebayclowns.tumblr.com. It's about clowns, oddly enough.

## What is ebayclowns?

**ebayclowns** is the name of a Tumblr blog, whose owners, the renowned clownscholars, pussykraken, polymerdespair, and st-gobnait, take in pictures of clown sightings from around the world, and inform us of the histories latent within these porcelain japesters.

As it turns out, clowns live in a dimension unknown to humankind, a world of moons and worlds, of jesters and bastards, wizards and stranger things indeed... This is the Clownverse.

## Latest activity

Learn more about the Clownverse! Learn about:

* The Clownverse
* Clowns
* Factions

External resources include:

* The Ebayclowns Tumblr
* The Clown Faction Quiz
* The Worldbuilding Document

Want to contribute? Please do! Visit:

* Contribution Guidelines
* Wikia's Help Pages
Tricky Nicky

**Tricky Nicky** is a Wisefool who is the current leader of The Tricklords.

## Description

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> Tricky Nicky, the supreme leader of the Tricklords, an old and mystical society who like to keep to themselves, and apparently do all sorts of freaky shit at their clownwinter retreats. as with all Wisefools, her three pronged hat indicates her great power and knowledge of tricks, japes, jests, jokes, darkjokes, capers and even, sometimes, cavorts. she goes through about three apprentices a clownyear, being an extreme perfectionist and prone to testing out high level, experimental tricks on her hopeful trainees “to see how they deal with it”.[2]
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Goodness Gracious

**Goodness Gracious** is an unexplainable who was once the Clown Emperor’s wife.

## Description

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> rare manifestation of the Clown Emperor’s second wife, Goodness Gracious. she courted him over email for many years, and after the previous consort succumbed to to a creeping case of bastardization and was thus exiled, chased from the palace by phantom circus animal hounds as the Emperor looked on from his tower and wept, Goodness had her bags immediately sent over to the palace lobby to await her arrival. she filled the smaller, less comfortable throne next to the Emperor’s throne quite well for a time. part of a consort’s work is to translate the incomprehensible speech and equally incomprehensible whims of the Emperor, but Goodness herself was a particularly roguish Unexplainable and not inclined towards saying anything that made sense or meant anything. often, when asked by Clouncillers what the Emperor’s opinions were on a given topic or policy, she would just make something up, or say her own opinion. it has been occasionally postulated that this may perhaps have possibly had something maybe to do with the dissolution of their marriage. [2]
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## Relationships

* She is sisters with Countess Fun.
* She was the Clown Emperor’s second wife.
Shy Coco

**Shy Coco** is a marotte who hosts a late-night talk show and feeds on the resulting scandal.

## Description

> Shy Coco, a late-night talk show host of dubious repute. Shy Coco is known for two things: 1) their shyness, and 2) never being drawn, filmed or seen from the neck down, under pain of ironic murder. played off by the paparazzi as a matter of uncharacteristic respect for Shy Coco’s shyness, the formal ban on revealing Shy Coco’s status as a marotte serves another purpose, for they dine exclusively on scandal; initially selecting a host actor and “puppeteer” prone to brief, secretive meetings with well-known clown painters in their woodshed studios, Shy Coco now thrives off hearsay speculations as to their true nature on late-night talk show fan forums. their former guests refuse to comment. [2]
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Sickfuck

A **Sickfuck** is a faction of clown. Ex-Clowncarers, these clowns make a living off of selling clownmulch for various purposes.

## Description

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> traditional Clowncare, famous for its crude approach to anatomy and a governing philosophy that boils down to “laughter is the best medicine”, fell out of favour and has in fact been outlawed in some areas since Wisefool magic became common practice a century or two ago. now jobless, most Clowncarers renounced their oaths and are often known to sneak into clown hatcheries in small teams in order to extract unformed preclown essence from within the eggs. the un-congealed clownmatter is then sold by mail order for a tidy price. it is advertised as a cure for a whole variety of ailments, sworn upon to combat everything from ennui to clourophobia, even as an antidote to death. reviews regarding the authenticity of these claims are “mixed to negative”. [1]
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## Relationships

* Doc Block was saved from a clownmulch vat by a group of Sickfucks.[2]
Gathering Of The Sixth Moon

The **Gathering Of The Sixth Moon** is a presitgious event attended about every century, in which a sixth and fabled clownmoon, The Sixth Moon, is viewed.

## Description

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> Gathering Of The Sixth Moon. these clowns have journeyed from across the Clowngalaxy by whatever means their class, faction and fashion dictate to cluster like colourful barnacles on the Klownderstructure, a half-temple-half-music-festival-venue built by the fabled ancestor-clowns, those who witnessed the founding of the universe. here the disillusioned modernclowns gather every century or so in anticipation for a rare, pink-hued moon to render itself briefly in the void (it remains unviewable in the skies of anyone who did not pay admission). as it rotates, serene and huge above them, they beg it for forgiveness. the patented Forgiveness of this reclusive moon is reportedly potent enough to erase all feelings guilt for the undesirable act/acts, as well as any memories of said act/acts. tickets to the GOTSM are known to sell out in under a clownmillisecond. [1]
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Salt Biscuit

**Salt Biscuit** is a ex-Tearboy who killed her supervisor and escaped the Church of Tears.

## Description

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> Salt Biscuit, a midrank Tearboy. all her body’s moisture is long gone, spent in years of devout service to her church. one day, for reasons even she cannot fathom, she murdered her supervisor, Brother Laffo. his was a terrible end; choked to death on his own Book of Weeping, a collection of the saddest stories in existence issued to every monk of a certain level. nobody witnessed her crime. she now lives a humble life in the barren wilderness of a small, undiscovered moon, fearing retribution from her former belief system.[2]
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The Heartsboyz

All 3 Heartboyz.

**The Heartboyz** are a group of unexplainables who serve She Of Lips.

## Description

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> wanted poster depiction of the Heartsboyz, cherubic triplet minions of She Of Lips. each clownyear when Lipstime rolls around they parade through the streets announcing for all to hear the secret crushes of the populace, who fancies who, and soforth. afterwards they announce the weather, which is always a light bloodrain. the clowns of the town are left to hang their heads in their homes and listen to the smattering of blood droplets against their windowpains, as they writhe in a combination of metaphysical agony and mild-to-heavy embarrassment. the Heartsboyz perform their duty with enthusiasm, possibly unaware of the immense suffering their presence causes, but only possibly. nevertheless, many local businesses take advantage of their combined vocal power (their voices are only audible when they speak in unison, and then they are the most audible things in existence) to take out advertisements in the love forecast, so it is usual for them to interrupt themselves to scream about a new brand of bootpolish or somesuch. the price of Heartsboy adspace is one pair of lips, which must be sent to She Of Lips city office in a signed and sealed envelope. they dont have to be your lips. [2]
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The Lads

All 3 of The Lads, posing together.

**The Lads** are an elite group of ex-Tearboys who have lost their ability to produce tears.

## Description

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> the Lads, tearboys who long ago lost their ability to feel, and thus cry. since then they have been trained as assassins deep in the abattoirs of the most secret branches of Church, their mission to one day kill the Lunar Clown. each day they studied forbidden godkilling methods acquired from darkweb and the underworlds by select Church scholars. promised over salted tea by the Pope of Tears that their eventual success would mean their release from monkhood and servitude, they initially blamed the Lunar Clown for the founding of the Church, which only made them want to kill him more. after completing their task one cold, dark, clownfebuary eve, they all came to the realisation that the Pope was in fact responsible for how boring their lives had been thus far. they were unable to feel anything about this however, turning down offers from a number of organisations to become professional godkillers, and decided to start a small business pastry shop together in the capital city. they dont get much business, as their murder skills are far better than their pastry skills, but they like the change of pace. [2]
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## Relationships

* They were trained into godkilling machines by the Pope of Tears, whom they now resent greatly.
Tearboy

The **Tearboys** are a faction of clown, working tirelessly at the Church of Tears to produce tears for consumption.

Tearboys are usually bald and have pointed teeth, side effects from excessive tear production. [2]

## Description

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> one of the unlucky clowns recruited at a young age to the Church of Tears, once an up and coming religion, now a massive global industry, producing over 60000 clownlitres of tears per day in the largest monasteries. the high ranking monks have trained their bodies for years with many experimental and often highly dangerous methods to produce the finest quality tears, fit only for the emperor and his social circle. the lower orders cry shoddy, salty buckets, which are exported en masse to the clown commoners. [3]
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Dangerous Pips

**Dangerous Pips** is a Wisefool who heals sick clowns in exchange for solving half-hearted riddles.

## Description

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> Dangerous Pips, a Wisefool physician who can cure any disease with a touch of their hat-tendrils. to seek their council you must travel to their fortress, an apartment building with a different riddle on each floor. most of them are pretty easy, and even if riddles are not your forte, one of the hundred or so diseased clowns that are always milling around the property will give you the answer for a few clowndollars or a bite of your packed lunch. once you reach the top, Pips will ask you their Ultimate Riddle, which is actually just a vague open ended question. if you are correct, health will be yours, if you are incorrect, your eyelashes will be forcibly taken and used to weave one of their famously luxurious enchanted fursuits. there is no real right answer and your success or failure actually depends on how much they like the cut of your jib. [2]
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Absum the Weavingwitch

**Absum the Weavingwitch** is a marotte who is a famous clothesmaker. She consumes the same.

## Description

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> Absum the Weavingwitch is so firmly entrenched in the clownfolklore (the lore of clownfolk) that few would even recognise her extralunar heritage. she stitched the suits of She of Lips, She of Snow and She of Leaves, binding them to their initial themes; she knitted a romper for the Lunar Child from custard rinds and moonlight; she wove a former emperor’s veil for an ill-fated wedding spree, and it survives to this day in the Hall of the Accursed, where the inmates banter, on their more exceedingly dull nights, whether or not it is still just an object or if an inappropriately competent ringbearer had their essence cast into it after the festivities, remaining silent and immobile afterwards out of professional shame. for these projects, and many more besides, she is paid with the rest of the clothes of her clients, the finest of which are put aside for leisurely consumption. the other 99% go to stock her franchise of charity shops. [2]
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## Relationships

* She is sisters with Esoterica the Wise and Grantfan the Stardrinker.
Clown Emperor

The **Clown Emperor** is the title of the absolute leader of the Clown Empire.

The title grants certain powers over reality itself. It is a common rumor that if a Clown Emperor is deposed by means other than death, all clownexistence will cease [1].

## Description

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> The Clown Emperor: ruler of all clowns. haver of many strange properties and inheritor of the Royal Jokes, which are said to be the most powerful in existence. some of the very oldest clowns claim that each new emperor is in fact a separate stage in the bizarre and complex life cycle of a creature that has existed since the creation of the Clownworld and its moons. perhaps even before that. [2]
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