The King & Friends Randomness 12

**The King & Friends Randomness 12** is a YouTube Poop video of the series of The King & Friends Randomness.

## Plot

The King flies his car through space, past Planet Kravindish and landing in the usual spot in his backyard. He dances his way back into Hyrule Castle and is greeted by Gwonam, who he blames for throwing off his groove. Gwonam talks about staying woke or something and The King decides to go to Gamelon to get away from his corny ass. He invites Link and Zelda to come along with him, and while Zelda agrees to come with, Link stays back, telling the King he needs to fight the Duckwalk. The King and Zelda take off in the car once again, though are thrown off track a bit by Mario's Head.

Morshu is air guitaring in his shop (while imagining he's standing in front of speakers and holding a real guitar) but he is interrupted by Mario and Luigi who have entered the shop, looking for something. Morshu goes through his usual sales pitch, but Mario ends up inspecting the safe on his desk. Morshu tells them to stay away from it, they can't take his Rupees. But Luigi holds him at gunpoint...

Kravindish interrupts the scene with a This Is America parody.

Morshu isn't actually afraid of Luigi's gun, since he kind of has bombs everywhere. He takes one out, and Mario and Luigi flee the scene. Morshu sets a bomb off next to them, but a bit too late, they got away.

Duke Onkled is working out with his key, but Fari calls him from downstairs. Duke Onkled falls into the other room to find that he and Fari are face to face with Ganon. Duke Onkled begs Ganon not to hurt him, but Ganon cuts him off, telling the two of them "You... are my PRISON." As Duke Onkled deflates slightly, Ganon reveals it was just a prank, bro, and laughs at their terrified-looking reactions.

Meanwhile The King and Zelda are still in the car and falling out of the sky. Conveniently, they fall directly on top of Ganon. The King says hi to Duke Onkled, who asks for mercy (for whatever reason). The King responds with some nonsense, Zelda asks him to just make coherent sentences, and The King cuts her off, immediately speeding out of the room.

Link is lying on his face in the castle's basement, and he finally stands up, ready to fight the Duckwalk. Sure enough, lower down in the basement, there are some quacking noises and the Duckwalk falls over onto the basement floor itself. Link jumps down to fight it, but ends up fucking it instead. (The Duckwalk doesn't seem to react in any way, though Older Rosen expresses his disgust at the scene.)

For whatever reason that isn't shown onscreen, The King's car crashed and ended up in a flaming wreckage, while he and Zelda look on at the ruins from the side. Gwonam is about to tell them "Look what has happened!" but Zelda shooes him away. The King notes that his car is fucked, and Zelda after a sarcastic remark asks him what they'll be doing next. The King suddenly remembers that he has a ship as well. After a bit of praising his ship, Zelda reminds him that he'd need to get his ship, which he remembers is still in the ocean back in Hyrule, so that won't help them any. Morshu, still chasing Mario and Luigi to get his safe back, accidentally drops a bomb next to them and sends them flying. The King ends up in front of a fake sky backdrop and Zelda calls him over.

Obligatory rave scene featuring George the Baker, Kravindish, and Chris Joel.

In Meleemario720's section, Morshu has been sent flying by the explosive grooves of the previous rave scene, and bangs into a tree. Some kids from a Super Mario Sunshine commercial come from out of nowhere and chase him around. A very strange-looking Mario drops a piece of trash next to him to make him slip and fall over. Morshu lands right next to Mario, who takes off on FLUDD and flies directly at him to attack him, but just misses. Luigi then sucks Morshu up with his vacuum, though since Morshu is too big to fit, the vacuum explodes instead and he goes flying in the other direction while being set on fire. Morshu lands on a block, which Luigi kicks, sending Morshu flying up into the sky and into orbit. While floating in space for a bit, he comes across the floating face of Tim Curry, who tells him where he is.

The King and Zelda have ended up in Dodomai Palace. Zelda threatens an iron statue of Knuckles, but after The King calls Zelda away, the statue is just stolen by Gary Brannan. The King runs across another room and directly into Zelda, who he bounces off and crash lands in yet another room. Zelda finally catches up with him, and they spot something on the other side of the room, a giant flashing Eye in the Sky. Gwonam tells them what it is and that it will lead them to the Shrine of Die, and The King notes that Gwonam rhymed. Meanwhile, Tim Rowett is messing with one of his toys, which creates a large flame, spooking The King into running directly into the Eye in the Sky. Zelda chases after him and the two of them are transported into the Shrine of Die (really just a cave underneath the palace). The King comments on how that escalated quickly.

Link finishes his fight with the Duckwalk and returns to the ground floor of the castle. He looks around for The King, but then remembers he and Zelda went to Gamelon. Wondering what they're up to, Link remembers the spring in the ground that he can maybe use to get to Gamelon with them if he knows the password. He tries saying what he thinks the password sounds like but (big surprise) it doesn't work. Gwonam flies in to give Link a hint as to how to say the password. Link misunderstands his clue and says "You saved me backwards!" After a long pause though, I guess the spring system decided that was close enough and sends Link flying into space. After passing by Planet Kravindish, Morshu, and Tim Curry, he is stopped by Jupiter Jack, who holds up a stop sign and tells him he can't go any further. Link agrees and falls all the way back down to the castle, deciding he'll need to wait for The King and Zelda. ...And Flash, for whatever reason. Sure enough Flash arrives in the castle a couple of seconds afterwards, and Link appears very excited (though Flash is never seen or mentioned again).

Morshu continues to float through space. Tim Curry reappears next to him and knocks him back to earth with his Tesla Tank. Morshu conveniently lands right next to Mario and Luigi who still have his safe. He pulls out three bombs to throw at them, though only throws one to send them flying and get his safe to land back in front of him (though the safe knocks the two bombs away, one of them splashing past a nearby gate leading it to the Shrine of Die). Morshu gives Mario and Luigi both middle fingers and tells them to come back when they're a little, MMM, richer, and then has a quick rave scene of his own.

Meanwhile, in the Shrine of Die, The King and Zelda are hopping around looking for a way to exit the area. Kravindish just happens to be there for whatever reason, concealing his Lagic Mantern. And of course, since Kravindish is alone in a strange place, the Trash Fairy shows up once again to harass him. She smashes into him, though accidentally knocks into The King in the process, and Zelda chases after them. A quick fight scene ensues. The King and Zelda both attack the Trash Fairy, but neither are able to land much of any damage. However, when Kravindish attacks, the Trash Fairy quickly counters with a LAZOR, dealing him over 9000 damage and sending him flying again. The King and Zelda run away for their own safety.

Kravindish continues to fly into the sky and into space (big surprise, again) though he is stopped by Tim Curry's Tesla Tank. He lands a few feet away from Impa, who is seeing some of the events unfold through the Triforce of Wisdom and noting how dangerous everyone is.

The King and Zelda run away from the Trash Fairy. The King comes across Morshu's leftover bomb, and decides he can use it to attack the Trash Fairy (though Zelda appears to know how stupid and dangerous an idea that is). The King ignores Zelda however, throws the bomb right next to the Trash Fairy and runs away. The Trash Fairy, not actually chasing them and wondering what all the ruckus was about, peeks out of the wrong side of her can, but sees the bomb, freaks out, knocks it away and flees herself. The King says that Zelda is saved, until the bomb lands directly next to them. The bomb finally detonates, sending them right out of the Shrine of Die next to a giant wave of water, which splashes them onto their burning car, putting out the fire and rendering it driveable again. Matt Gray notes how contrived the plot is.

The King and Zelda finally return to Hyrule Castle in the car, and say hi to Link. Zelda tells them they have to figure out a way to finish the video, and The King decides they should have a forced musical number. Ganon appears (still slightly injured from having a car land on his face) playing "Do Your Thing" by the Basement Jaxx on his electric keyboard, and a final song and dance scene involving nearly everyone previously in the video (along with I.M. Meen who wasn't involved before) ensues. Kravindish interrupts the scene and attacks Ganon's keyboard, causing everyone to look at him funny, and The King yells "ENOUGH" to stop him.

Michael and Older Rosen appear within the castle to remind people that 256Pi isn't dead and that more videos are on the way.

## Transcript

**Gwonam:** Your Majesty
**King Harkinian:** Ahhhh! You thrown off my groove!
**Gwonam:** Ganon and his minions have done nothing of interest.
**Link:** Boring.
**King Harkinian:** What he said?
**Gwonam:** It is written: "Lies lies lies lies lies... fish." Stay woke.
**King Harkinian:** I'm going to Gamelon to get away from your corny ass.
**Gwonam:** "K."
**King Harkinian:** Link, Zelda, come with me!
**Mayor Cravendish:** No.
**King Harkinian:** Fuck you!
**Zelda:** We're going to Gamelon.
**King Harkinian:** Yes!
**Zelda:** Great! What about link?
**Link:** No.
**King Harkinian:** What?
**Zelda:** What?
**Link:** I'm going to fight the forces of evil around here.
**King Harkinian:** What forces of evil?
**Link:** Uhh... The Duckwalk.
**Zelda:** Ah... Really?
**King Harkinian:** K, you do you boy.
**Zelda:** Come on, father.
**Mario:** Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh Lu...?
**Morshu:** Lamp oil, rope, bombs - you want it, it's yours, my friend, as long--
**Mario:** Uh-huh. Here's the safe.
**Morshu:** Mmmm... Sorry, my friend. I can't give you my rubies.
**Luigi:** Well, maybe you lend us.
**Morshu:** I can't give loans.
**Luigi:** If we persuade you!

**This is Illegamerica**
**Mayor Cravendish:** This is illegal you know. Oh the indignity. Oh the indignity. Illegal-indignity.
**Morshu:** Bombs!
**Mario:** Come on, Luigi.
**Fari:** Duke Onkled, Duke Onkled, Duke Onkled!
**Duke Onkled:** Rouy!
**Fari:** Hey!
**Duke Onkled:** Hey. You don't hurt me. Got in. I'll tell you the secret way into Rio with Neil Rishon faces the greatest risk your past by.
Face to a face to face to. My face you to conquer lose your omnipotent. After dinner we can talk about dinner in the morning a month. Father. Just make up your own tendency to get.

**Link fights/fucks the Duckwalk.**
I'm going to fight the Duckwalk. Oh Boy!
Oh. What has. I know. I think. Really what ever gave you an idea. Better question what are we going to do now. My ship. What. My ships the front of shop real and I ship my ship farther. Where is the ship now. In the ocean. Oh. It's hard. Sorry. My father overlooked.
IDK.

**Meleemario720's section; Morshu's scary forest encounter.**

Sorry Mike Ruby's not yours. You're not my friends. Everyone knows the sunshiny day to day. Cash. Class begins to fly. Oh.
**King Harkinian:** Zelda- OAH!
**Zelda:** Guess again, Iron Knuckles. Why on. EARTH. WE. HAVE TO CUT. Back. Through the Eye in the sky your eyes the shrine of die. There's something much cleverer about this because inside are two batteries. And what's going to happen. When. Boy gets cold. Why don't we leave.
I. Want. King. I'm. Not going to get going again shoot. That's right. I just wonder what they're up to. Parts are working he says. We think again you'll see. You'll see me. Yeah. Consider seeing that back. What. Of course you'll see me back. It's. I guess. All right are you. Hey how's it going. Stop sign. Sure. Awesome. I guess I'd better wait for the king and Zelda. And Flash!
You'd think you can just show up. I'd like to introduce you to him. Oh. That wasn't so bad. Plus if. You wanted to. Know. More tough shit. Come back when you're a little richer.
How. I managed to conceal this magic lantern. One I went through never going to the. Father. I think your desk is your dick. What. No. We. Really. Illegal. Thank. You.
**Impa:** Oh, my! It looks like everyone's dangerous.
**Mayor Cravendish:** This is indignity you know.
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. You are saved but further with. Today show is sponsored by the word contrived.
**Link:** The King!
**King Harkinian:** I saved me! Why we indeed are boy. Further we have to find a way to finish the video. For a musical number. Great. Bye bye. Bye. This is. Illegal. Immigrant illegal immigrant illegal immigrant illegal. Illegal immigrant illegal immigrant illegal illegal. Illegal if not.
**King Harkinian:** ENOUGH!
**2008 Michael Rosen:** Hello! More videos on the way.
**2011 Michael Rosen:** Don't worry.