Holy God, She's A Woman Now/Confessionals

## Day 1

I talked to Zeezo and she seems pretty cool and genuine and Chieko's cool as well.
I'm particularly worried about Shay, due to the fact when I hosted her in Tibet, she was pretty inactive and she didn't really contribute much. I know people can change their game and such during ORG's, but I dunno... Something tells me Shay might be like her Tibet counterpart. HUMMMMMMMMM"

ok so my first goal going into this is be a bit more calm socially and strategically than usual. definitely going to try to make myself look more inept than i am in challenges LMFAO. i think my biggest weakness is i'm bad at managing the perception of me so if im cognizant of this now and try to set a direction asap, i should be able to like.. not choke again? choking isn't fetch
i feel like looking at the tribes we have a good group and i like my tribe? everyone on my tribe is literally like people i know of but have never spoken to and outside of tal, i've never had a convo with anyone on this cast which is really exciting because imo it should make it easier to navigate my dynamic with people! though i have hosted like.. six of them
anyways, here are some really initial impressions because i've only been talking w/ these people for a bit and org stamina is a bit of a concept like some people appear one way on day 1 but as the days go on their social game / activity changes a lot so it's hard to know for sure?
first, byron - i feel like my conversations have been a one-sided monologue and i'm not the one monologuing JKHHSDHJKFHKJS. i hate to be bitchy like day 1 but why is he spamming me with paragraphs about his several issues w/ his phone! i guess idm the convo topic it's just like without any real reciprocity in terms of conversation i'm nervous it'll be hard to foster a bond with him when he's very dom abt what we're discussing and how we're discussing it LMFAO... also he's said bro and man! oh and he ended our convo two hours ago by saying he was sleeping but he just commented on the rules post? but ya hopefully tmrw is a better day with byron maybe it was just a rough start and that could be my fault! he is active and that is good so!
then, anabel - i adore her oml! idk i think this is her first org and she’s literally like this pure person and i like feel like these games can get stressful and sad sometimes for some people and i don't want that to happen to her she’s an angel )): but ya that aside we share a lot of common interests like theatre and survivor so she’s definitely someone i can see myself clicking with and working with on this tribe down the line. she might be underestimated for being newer and younger but atm i think she’s invested and capable so i’ll be careful not to do that?
ahh next is JP - i like talking to him and though our convo has died lowkey, he’s nice to talk to and i think he’s someone i could work with on this tribe just because he’s friendly n funny. he definitely seems capable in terms of survivor and that’s a good vibe for me low-key!
morena - QUEEN. IS. WINNING. ok i love and stan morena even though our convos are kinda ??? atm i feel like i’m forcing her to keep talking by like asking questions and i don’t want to annoy her but i also don’t want to like not build up a bond w/ a tribe-mate so i’m confused! hoping we can talk more!!
aaron - least active of the bunch? he’s doing another season at the exact same time as this so i’m sure he’s stressed but once that started he stopped responding so that’s a vibe lMFAO. tomorrow might be better? he’s nice n iconic tho!
ya for now i’m excited about how things are going. i can definitely see myself working with anabel and JP (maybe byron too just because he’s active and talks a lot) i’ll see tomorrow after i can talk to these people more!! i need to be meticulous as the game starts to unravel, especially with this twist and managing the perception of me so that i can kinda hit the radar or in a worst case scenario, fuck the radar! right now my best bet is to be approached for majority rather than start it so i have safety without looking like a leader and try in challenges, but never do well at them them either!"

i mean, props to him. first person to do that task takes the lead in terms of the trials for the idol and he has it. anyone else who tries it is now being obvious about gunning for the idol and can be sabotaged, but he's retrospectively obvious and it honestly makes me trust him a lot less.
i'm going to try to be witty about when i bring up tide pods for my ten minute conversation. i think i'll do it mid challenge so it makes more sense contextually, but new options might be forming.
so as i said before, anabel, jp, and byron are kinda the other three active people here and anabel agrees, so we kinda talked about us four being the core talkers and i'm hoping that becomes the base for a majority on this tribe? i don't really see myself working w byron long-term, but he's active and that's enough to pull him through this phase of the game.
hopefully this forms quick, because i could actually use it as a rationale for the trial and say we should all help each other so we can get the idol in our hands. but that'd be kinda bold so maybe not! worst comes to worse, i'm not edging out morena and aaron because they're less active and i do want to keep building a bond w/ them because they could be numbers for me down the line?
but anyways, until i have it or someone else does the task, it's my presumption that byron has the idol. and that information is something i can use for a lot of purposes in this game. i could use it to make him look sneaky and like he's overplaying or i could try to build a bond w/ him strong enough that his advantage becomes mine. in a swapped situation, i could use it to put the target on him over me idk. honestly, we'll see as these next few formative days pan out but he just went way too OTT for the first day of this game imo. while i love advantages, i do think forming strong bonds and trust / hitting the radar has way more meaning in this game so i'm going to try to tow the line between those two forces! "

i will run this tribe like i do a car.. poorly and into disaster on multiple occasions. kinda glad i'm doing this early when decisions don't have too much of an impact so i can dodge the spotlight when they do woo!!
luck is on my side. for once. thanks luck."

Howeeeever, I think JP suspects I was doing one of the trials because I was randomly talking about cheese with the chat for 10 minutes (that was the task, don't judge).
I said my girlfriend bought me cheese and I threw them away. So now I've bought cheese and took a picture of them in my bin. Then it turns out it ain't even cheese, it's crackers FOR cheese so now here I am with crackers in my bin."

An alliance is formed between Keaton, Zee and myself, and I think this is the ideal group I've even wanted to work with. In case we lose, we could use both Tal and Alex as numbers in order to take Shay out. "

## Day 2

i don't think they're going to spread that for the same reasons i didn't go off about jp talking about the switch or byron talking about cheese. LMFAO.. because in talking about how i'm messily searching for the idol, it's transparent that they are doing the exact same thing. but the thing is if i find it, i'll be suspected of having found it! i really prefer to quietly have an idol because information is an upper hand, so i am a lil upset about this stumble tbh and if there's a way to make it look like i flopped a task down the line or find the idol and plant a fake, i'd be interested in doing that.
they also are looking like the majority members because anabel is a lil ott!! as in girl pm'd me like ""i'm flopping my task you wouldn't vote for me if i lose right?"" so of course i took that opportunity to reaffirm loyalty and she was like ""yes i wouldn't vote out jp or byron"" so hopefully she's feeding them the same lines and by proxy, even if there isn't a chat, there's a consensus that us four have each other's backs. furthermore, it's looking like morena is the first boot of this group sadly. sorry will )): anabel went OFF on her in the tribe chat i was shook asf like.. at first i was all ""this girl is savvier than she lets on"" but she's definitely still learning the ropes and isn't too cautious. it's nice because i can use that lack of caution and almost social-strategic-obliviousness as a gateway to accomplish my own goals without the mess of doing it myself because right now, our interests do align!!
also luckily i don't think i was ott with the whole ""tribe leader"" thing. i just made a chart to track everything but let ppl do them! i was kinda dom about making the flag because that's always a positive moment for me in terms of making myself an asset to the tribe, so i'm nervous about frustrating aaron who also wanted to make a flag oops. idt we're winning but hopefully we're not losing either ahhh!
idk that i'll be top half for the tribe flag per se because i remembered keaton is in this game and he's a graphics person so he'll probably whip up something amazing so hopefully top 2 still counts for the task? lmfaoooo! "

## Day 3

Somebody literally shoot in my godddamn face."

are we a flopping tribe because i'm going to have to pick up the strategic pace if we are and make some alliances
in other news i spent a lot of time on the flag so really hoping it wins but idk i don't think it will!
praying for a swap at like sixteen oml"

Jake got kidnapped! Was more planning of voting beside him than against him.
And basically. Aaron's going."

i'm cracked
first randomized as tribe leader.. then picked to be kidnapped.. build urself a resume like this no jk i'm literally just really lucky but also unlucky because significant twist-related events are happening to me early on.. black plague rlly cursed me to just have my fate driven by twists huh
i'm like.. content and discontent with my situation. this is a really good opportunity to foster new bonds and expand my horizons beyond my original tribe early on, which i love. it means in the wider scope of this game (swap, etc.), if i play things right, i could have a leg up, which is iconic to say the least. going to start talking to people soon because if i can get them to like me, they might save me again idk?
but by the same measure, this completely undermines my position on my actual tribe jSJJHDHJFDSJHK.. like.. i was probably going to use tribal to segway into a majority alliance of four with myself, anabel, JP, and byron and the door that just closed for me may not open back up because if they form a three, and aaron/morena (whichever survives) is exiled next, i'm in a really tight spot by default HJSDHKJFHK.. so i'm going to have to put in WORK when i get back to set myself up w/ tribal as the medium through which i could do it.. maybe i could shave byron out and make a new majority of three (myself jp and anabel)
i kinda expect that aaron or morena will go. morena is the least social and aaron completely tanked the challenge for us and pissed byron and jp off so like.. his position became precarious asf when a good performance could have done #that for him.
also i'm on the fourth trial lit! hopefully there are only like.. five and i can snatch this idol before i'd return to a tribal so if worst comes to worst, i do secure myself some form of safety. right now the only eligible people are myself and jp, which is good because i like him but bad because i like myself more.. well i actually hate myself. but in the context of using an idol for social-strategic security, i like myself lit!"

As for my tribemates, I like to keep things natural and maintain basic small-talk right away, so here’s a rundown of everyone I’ve talked to.
Abi – Very sweet and good-mannered, which I stan! Since she’s older with more life experience (plus children), I’m certain she has that certain wisdom that will make her dependable. But at the same time, she’s a busy woman and I’m not sure if she’s technology-savvy so I’m really hoping this doesn’t make her a liability. Nonetheless, an instant fav of mine right away.
Edvin – He reminds me of me but younger, which is tragic because I want to be young again :( He’s 14 but clearly very intelligent and someone who I would truly call a player. I don’t know if I can trust him, especially since there’s two other people on this cast (Chieko and Aaron) who he appears to be close with, so he’s one of my first first-boot of the tribe pics. Also just to provide clarity: https://gyazo.com/728162586948adbe7432ff7e22b7e186
Isabel – She’s so bubbly and erratic that I can’t help but adore her. I really want to develop a healthy friendship with her, because she’s super fun to chat with and just an overall positive influence. This is also her 2nd ORG, so that could either make her easily impressionable or a huge mess, but I hope she lasts.
Phoenix – Super chill and probably the person I’m most interested in working with. We’re both experienced but been out of it for a long while, so we’re looking to refresh ourselves and succeed. We worked well enough together during the challenge so I’d, although our convos are a bit of a slow burn. But if we remain consistent, we might see most things eye-to-eye.
Spencer – Haven’t talked to him much. Maybe the timezone difference is causing this? Regardless, I’m not too sure about this guy. He’s already playing an ORG or two and there’s two other Sinai people on this cast (similar to Edvin). Right away, he’s definitely someone I wouldn’t mind voting out simply due to that.
As for basic strategy? Keep the new peeps around and cut the well-connected. And win challenges of course lmao. I’m not in any alliance nor any official deals yet, but at this stage, those don’t really mean anything, especially for others. I’m proving my worth and reliability and if they value that, I’ll be nice and dandy.
I can say, this might not be the strongest tribe challenge-wise. We won the tiebreaker based on a lucky guess, and only Phoenix and I pulled through and won us 1st for our task. Edvin and I had to help Isabel with her task. I’m not sure if its poor assessment and self-judgment that cost us or we’re just mediocre overall. I’m highly considering taking the leadership role next challenge, depending on who gets cut from Valasca.
Lastly, I’m probably not going to get that sweet idol since that requires appealing to the VL. If there’s one thing I learned, right off the gate, a VL stan the well-known or someone very memorable and charismatic. Yeah… I’m neither of those things, but stanning Jp was a fun experience. I might show him my declaration anyway lmao. I feel like Phoenix has the best shot at getting the idol anyway.
Since Alex never kidnapped someone, I get to see what super-ultra-mega-extra-threat Jakey Fakey has to share :O"

they've kinda surmised that morena and aaron were on the outs, so if they're looking to exploit cracks they could leave me to try in a tribal of four, which makes finding that idol that much more important. i snapped and finished trial four last night (when i went to sleep at 2 AM and now, JP is still online so i think he's working on it now as well so its a race to the idol between us two i think)
if it's possible without overplaying today, i'll talk about how i think dodging the first tribal put me in a tougher spot than where i was if i go back, so hopefully they think they're exploiting cracks by saving me idk??? i like.. really want to dodge tribals LMFAO
i'll do first impressions soon, my convos with abi and spencer are finally picking up so i'll actually have something to say abt them but i really like isabel, edvin, and andrew so far!! "

i found the idol
on day 3
ahhhhhhhhhhh
trying to think how i can convince JP i won't have it because if he's finished trial four, with twenty five grid spots and four hours increments, that's like... four or five days before he mathematically will have to find the spot at the latest.. so unless byron like snaps and gets top half score on the next challenge, i'm the only other viable idol candidate so like.. debating actually telling him because i'd rather build that trust with it than have it eroded by looking susp djsfhjksdhjkf
im so happy though like.. thats one tribal where im set"

On another way, I felt like I am almost alienating from everyone on my tribe after those two days of speaking with them. It's like, I have never experienced this before, but sounds much it. Hopefully we don't lose the next challenge, because that would be real tough if we do end up there."