Boys Boys Boys

*An uncouth cadre of daredevil saviors waylay our heroes on their journey to destroy the bandits in the north, but perhaps this rambunctious new sect has exactly what our friends so desperately need even if they themselves do not know they need it? Secrets are divined! Hidden romance uncovered! The past comes back to haunt! Tomorrow, in this petty pace, creeps day to day!*

Episode 11 of Rude Tales of Magic. The party runs into a band of wild daredevils that helps them reach Scrum North.

## Summary

The party spends two days walking towards Scrum North to fulfill their contract with Scrum Fabulous. Albee worries about what she’s been hearing about Kreedis recently while the party tries to put her at ease. As they settle down for the night, fireflies begin to appear and lead them into the woods. Stirfry and Cordelia follow and gossip about Albee and Bellow’s potential relationship, finding that the fireflies are guiding them to edible berries. They gather food and follow their way until the fireflies lure them into the den of a manticore, hoping to eat whatever the monster leaves behind.

Stirfry and Cordelia fend off the manticore until the rest of the party arrives. They battle with it until, with the riff of a guitar, an orc leaps onto the scene and circumcises the monster’s human penis in one sweep of his blade. The monster flees as the orc announces himself as Cum Dangle, a reckless but polite daredevil. He introduces the party to his crew of bros, quickly hitting it off as they explain their love of pranks, challenges and stunts. They confirm the presence of bandits further north and offer the party a place to stay in their base behind a waterfall.

The party needs to share a large bed and after much sweating and discussion, they decide on their placement on the bed. Albee sleeps next to Bellow and nervously, barely touches his shoulder. She stays in that spot all night. Stirfry sleeps under the bed where Shitty is already waiting, offering him to trade dreams. Shitty wakes with the sudden urge to become a chef and Stirfry awakes with bloodshot eyes.

The party asks Cum for the way to reach Scrum North. They take them to Stampede Canyon, where cattle are constantly stampeding for reasons unknown to the world. The canyon is too far and dangerous to cross on their own, but Cum calls upon a pack of large wolves to ride across. They too cannot make the jump, but they are able to force them to make it by slapping their balls with a ruler to startle them into making it. Before they go, Cum tells Albee that there is a much safer path to take on their way back. Albee’s wolf makes the jump and crashes into Bellow, where Albee sobs an apology for touching his shoulder while her nose bleeds until she throws up.

They finally reach Scrum North, a pyramid-like keep. Stirfry calls for anyone present, only to have his words echoed back to him. Several other kenku appear, mimicking his voice as they recognize each other. Stirfry admits to knowing them as they repeat his parting words of wishing to go his own way.

After the outro, we see the sealed off prison of The Soaking Valley. A large, armored man arrives, only to be followed by his mentor; a kindly old woman. She rapidly corrects “Joshy’s” presumptions and poor memory while trying to teach him the craft of tracking. On sight, the woman recognizes details of the party’s escape, such as identifying sasquatch blood mixed with healing potion, the footprints of The Sodom Sisters, the illegal use of Spilled Milk, and traces of the intelligent lice from Legion. She instructs Joshy to find Legion so they can find out if he’s learned to talk.

## Links

https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/boys-boys-boys