From Doting to Devotion: Marriage Customs from across the Realms

From Doting to Devotion: Marriage Customs from across the Realms is a book stumbled across by accident during a bout of Study-related Inquiries.

## Description

After experiencing increasingly vivid dreams of falling chains amidst a vast thunderous storm of red lightning, the Wild Magic Sorcerer Moxzi Bluhedd commissioned Andrius to look into the potential origins of her powers, specifically the possibility of their relation to the Elder Elemental Eye, a member of the Malign associated with chaos and insanity.

While Treatises of the Temperamental: Wild Magic Analysed and Cacoethes & Custodium were the intended results of said inquiry, a mix-up resulting from the librarian mishearing "mad, insanity" as "matrimony" resulted in Andrius being provided this book to take notes from.

## Reading

### Completed by Andrius (on behalf of Moxzi Bluhedd)

In my times travelling the Realms over the last decades, I have found myself fortunate to have encountered all manner of delights, be it stunning vistas formed by the natural world, shaped a millennia and more ago by the Lord in the Quiet Places, and by contrast the great feats of civilisation built upon the foundations of the Master Tinkerer, the Eternal Minstrel and the Dawn Matron. The Principal Races have truly found a way to live in near any place upon the continent, and when they congregate and gather, it is more oft than not a source of wondrous joy and merriment, celebrating in each others' efforts and company. To this effect, I have bore witness to more ceremonies of life and death than I can dare to count, and so therein lies the purpose of this tome, so that the casual reader might come to know how marriage customs vary across the Realms, and those touchstones that run through unchanged amongst them all.

Fundamentally, the customs of marriage find their foundations in three determining factors - that of location, religion and wealth. The lattermost is considered by many to be the greatest of defining factors, for the union of noble houses, bloodlines or the like is undoubtedly that of a noteworthy occurrence, but I have found that it is actually less likely to have a particularly profound effect on the format of a union than the formermost. There is no denying that the splendour and grandeur associated with the matrimony of the wealthy, held within the grounds of vast country estates, at the altars of magnificent cathedrals, with hundreds and thousands of guests dressed in silk and gold alike feasting upon enough food to seemingly feed half a Realm. Despite it, however, I have found that as much love, and sentiment of matters such as community, warmth and joy bearing witness to the commonfolk paired together in the square at the centre of their village, showered in flower petals by their neighbours before breaking bread and sharing meads and wines alike. Fundamentally, wealth rarely changes the building blocks of the marriage custom, but rather exaggerates and extends them, making them bolder - and oft more laden in precious metals and gemstones, aha!

Through the presence of the Ahlusian Sixteen being frequently felt, the continent has been largely unified in its religious beliefs since Aita's Second Gift, and in doing so, this often serves as a common feature in many customs likewise, evoking the blessing of the Pantheon in general terms through use of the *Unifier's Orison* or a variation such as the simplified *Four-Fours Vows*, so that each member amongst the Sixteen may look over the marriage and guide it fruitfully and steadfastly. In some cases, if one or more of those to be wed hold a particular patron amongst the Sixteen - as is common fashion for many to do so across the continent - then additional pledges or features may be made to this deity, beseeching them in particular for their favour to the union, or the priest officiating the ceremony may be more-so affiliated with said god. Those invited to bear witness to the union are often asked to bring trinkets and other items representative of the different members of the Sixteen, intended to symbolise their dedication to support the betrothed in religion and relationship alike. I have provided a few examples of such trinkets, as may be presented by the commonfolk to their companions.

>
> #### *The Unifier's Orison*
>
>
> *As tender as the Dawn Matron’s candle’s warmth-filled glow, I make this pledge,*
>
>
> *And to those bearing witness, upon soil and stone shaped by the Quiet Lord,*
>
>
> *That from this day henceforth, whatever Changing Season’s turn might yield,*
>
>
> *I will imbue the True’s nobility, standing fast to provide, to protect, to shield.*
>
>
> *Three Star’s fate has drawn our steps to become one in unity,*
>
>
> *And wherever now the Pathmaker’s road may lead, winding upon wind and wave,*
>
>
> *In Reddened Glory work to honour one another, and celebrate our victories and triumphs as one,*
>
>
> *Embracing Goldhand’s Fortune when presented, sharing hardship wherein none.*
>
>
> *Let it be ensured that each day brings the Weaver’s newest wonders,*
>
>
> *So that Curiosity never finds itself truly exhausted, but sated all the same,*
>
>
> *I will revel in every feast shared, every Kiss Sweet planted upon brow,*
>
>
> *In that our love may be a story ever more, a legacy stretching on from here, now.*
>
>
> *Each morning my pledge will be renewed once again beneath Burning Eye,*
>
>
> *And it will not falter come the gloom, for by Custodian’s Eclipse I will guide the way,*
>
>
> *My vigil, my oath, ends not until Daughter of the Veil calls my name,*
>
>
> *And in time, even then, may we be reunited again within Soul Beacon’s concluding flame.*
>
>
>
> #### *The Four-Fours Vows*
>
>
> *In Warmth and Shelter,*
>
>
> *To the Harvest’s Joy,*
>
>
> *Through the First Wilds,*
>
>
> *Wherever Fate might guide.*
>
>
> *Be it by a pool in the light of the moon,*
>
>
> *Or a city’s heart, where civilisation thrums,*
>
>
> *Into this contract of souls I do consent,*
>
>
> *From now, into the Afterlife beyond,*
>
>
> *Celebrating victory and triumph,*
>
>
> *Through the season’s change and turn of the year,*
>
>
> *May the Morning Light witness this pledge,*
>
>
> *Of unity, forever held close in memory,*
>
>
> *To forge anew something more,*
>
>
> *That will weather storm and gale, rain and snow,*
>
>
> *Of love and laughter,*
>
>
>
> *Now bound into law until beacon’s call.*
>
>

Though in truth few and far between upon the continent, I have likewise had passing experience with the celebrations of those that dedicate themselves to the other fringe faiths and beliefs, but must admit that being few and far between, I cannot attest to how typical the forthcoming details are to the religious practices as a whole. Whilst in the Duchies of Tynd, specifically that of the Duchy of Oland, I bore witness to the pairing between two devotees of the Path of Light, the faith dedicated to il-Yannah, the Great Light. Away from the clamour of Port Oland, the pair found a stunning vista overlooking the waves rippling amongst Sultan Sulk. But it was not upon the waters that they focused, for instead they set eight candles of glass between them, arranged and placed with utmost precision so that none were any further or close to another. On either side of this queer crystalline octagon the pair sat, locked in meditation. The process continued for about an hour, held in utter silence, with the onlookers revering it with as much respect as those at centre stage. I, naturally, sought to do the same, but must admit that I found my attention wavering - all until the final moments, when the candles suddenly took aflame despite lack of wax or wick, the fire an intense white tinged with pink and purple. The pair then woke from their trance, moving in a state of unerring unison, as if, in that moment, they were of one mind, intertwined. Referred to as the *Attunement*, I gather this takes the place of conventional vows, and serves as the final test of compatibility between would-be partners, albeit it more in a mental respect instead of physically.

Elsewhere, specifically that of the lands of Courrakey and Lylcairn which stand at odds with beliefs elsewhere in the continent and instead embrace animalism and more shamanistic approaches to the religious influence in their unions, although I cannot comment much further on this, for the only matrimony I bore witness to on my travels took place in the more urban settlement Bodunoduron, which while a far cry from the settlements of the south, does find trade with the Land of the Bold, and in doing so the marriage witnessed was one dominated by the presence of the Principal Sixteen rather than the traditions of the Courrak.

While key components such as the sharing of stories about the betrothed, the inclusion of songs, poetry or likewise artistic celebration, and other common constants such as individual promises and commitment may be largely universal, first and foremost however, the location, nationality and other sociogeographical factors serve as the foundations of the ceremony and surrounding festivities. Suffice it to say that within the breadth of each Realm you will find great regional variations, and so that which is subsequently discussed are sweeping generalisations, and thus may be embraced fully by those involved, referenced in passing or as a variation of the fact, or dismissed entirely. New augmentation comes still with the blending of the cultures and customs of individuals from differing Realms, and so the ceremony, once combining considerations of religious inclination and scope of spending, is, fittingly, a deeply personal process. Nonetheless, I have included a few common occurrences in specific Realms that I have managed to visit for your reference and interest alike, although with regret cannot comment on every Realm, even if the numerous blisters upon my feet may feel like I should be able to!

The marriage customs of the Atral, Gawylthlian, Lachosi, Tyndian people all find common basis, with rings exchanged during the ceremony, hailing echoes of the Virtue of Fealty from formermost. While the giving of rings is found throughout Ahlus, it is considered a necessity amongst these Realms, and left upon the finger as a sign of the continuation of loyalty and devotion throughout life. In contrast to more heavily adorned rings worn as accessories, it is traditional instead for this wedding band to be shaped from gold and silver without further bejewelling or embellishment. In Atralran, weddings are then followed by a great feast, in which the wedded make a show of personally serving each of their guests before dining themselves, while in Lachlen, petals of allium, camellia, daisy, goldenrod, gorse, honeysuckle and myrtle are cast over the married. Tyndian marriages by tradition include on average thrice as many hymns as comparable marriages elsewhere, and it is expected that the would-be betrothed visit their local chapel, shrine or place of worship to seek approval from the priesthood before proceeding with engagement and marriage. Standing in contrast, within the Slate-Stone Kingdom it is custom that the betrothed take part in a melee to prove they are capable enough to defend their would-be spouse, a distinction expected regardless of gender and disposition. In recent years, the act has become a showful one, with family friends "attempting" to stake their claim only to be defeated, but from time to time, steel is barred freely.

The giving of rings has become a frequent too within the borders of Astedia proper, although in recent years the definition of Astedia's borders is a vague one at best, and the cultures contained within it defined by the cultures of the local populace. However, when Astedia was but a small Realm on the edge of Ester Bay, it engaged actively in a ceremony known as the *Gallant Eclipse*. One amongst the betrothed would be trailed by one or more of their parents, lantern, candle or other source of light in hand, illuminating them and the flowing ceremonial robes worn. Once at the altar or elsewise chosen location, their would-be spouse makes their pledge to them, stepping between and the source of light in an embrace, as the moon eclipses the sun, the pair now sharing in a single shadow cast high and long.

In Tulis, marriages are preceded by long, and by all accounts, meticulously tedious cataloguing of assets from both parties, usually completed by members of the opposite family, with one spouse's parents taking the duty for their soon to be son or daughter-in-law. While the Kingdom of Sunstone makes particular effort to keep record of marriages occurring within its borders, the information subsequently transferred for sake of study to the College of Anthropology in Halima, the detailings of Tulisian prenuptial agreement thwart spontaneity, with some individuals subsequently eloping to neighbouring Lienia, where a marriage can take any form, provided it is officiated by an Elder, or their appointee. The Sunar also stand at contrast to the Tulisians in that their weddings often feature ceremonies lengthened by the inclusion of translators intended to cater to the native tongue of every guest present, which can, depending on the diversity of the guests, vastly augment the time taken for even the simplest of ceremonies.

To the north, marriage in Courrakey and Lylcairn is said to be a more purposeful and functional process, born out of necessity for small familial groups to rely on themselves to survive the trials of the climate. While I cannot attest to the accuracy of this fact as previously mentioned, I have heard that it is rare that a definitive ceremony occurs, that simply individuals are paired up at birth by their parents to ensure the continued survival of the family, and that once the betrothed had delivered their first child together, they were subsequently considered married, with blessings and rituals made throughout the preceding pregnancy in anticipation of both the confirmation of union and the new life to come. In neighbouring Halholm, it is traditional for gifts to be exchanged by each betrothed, the most precious and important amongst these a trio of items - a bit, bridle and saddle, each expected to be created by someone from within the gift giver's family. Doing so ensures that vital skills for the nomadic Halhomites remain well-practiced, after which previously owned items of equivalent purpose are ritually burned to represent the passage into a new state of living. Similarly, craftsmanship takes a central role in Mol Borammian marriages, with torcs presented by the involved parties, customarily forged by the betrothed themselves as a declaration of the time, effort and care they were willing to dedicate to the union itself. After presenting the crafts, the married forge closed a link to bind together a pair of chains, the resulting ironwork displayed within their household. Drinking contests between the families of the betrothed, while exceeding common in Mol Borammian marriages, are not considered a formal part of the festivities, though are often expected and must be accounted for as it is believed that a wedding celebration that runs dry on supplies of ale is destined to be a short-lived and accursed affair.

Elsewhere in the Ironfangs, the nations formed by the faltering of the Empire of Raq have continued many of the same traditions of their predecessor. On the day before the wedding, the individual that first proposed the prospect of marriage visits the house of the other, offering up a serenade at their doorstop to gather their attention. It is expected that their would-be spouse responds in kind, stimulating a back-and-forth framed in song, before affirmation is given that both parties are still interested in the prospect of marriage, in which case entry to the household is provided and final arrangements can be made. After the ceremony on the following day, a feast is thrown for those gathered, during which the newly-married engage in the Kalime, the act of feeding each other morsels from the food presented. A curious addition to this process that I experienced firsthand amongst the large dragonborn population, in which it has become custom to ritually remove a scale from their brow, exchanging and grafting it with a scale from their partner's own.

Those final amongst that which I can comment on return us once more to the western aspect of the continent. The customs of Codorne have been absorbed at least somewhat into the Realms of Kingbourne and the Giado Territories since the Realm's dissolution after the Pact of the Zeal, the most curious amongst them only describable as "attempted kidnapping". During the following festivities, those married are sprung upon by their new family-in-law and separated. With elaborate efforts in place to prevent their reunion pre-planned, the pair must then race to be reunited, the faster they manage it, the more fruitful the pairing will prove to be, testimony to their ability to weather troubles cast their way. The Bournish have embraced these traditions more readily than the Giadoese, I have found, but nonetheless, it has been added to the celebrations within the borders of each with increasing frequency. While polygamy is not unheard of elsewhere in Ahlus, serving multiple purposes, the Giadoese are the most likely to engage in it. The tight-knit communities are further interwoven by most residents engaging in multiple marriages, with some amongst the populace having multiple husbands and/or wives, each with their own numerous spouses. Originally born out of intentions to ensure that there was always a network to provide for the subsequent children born of such unions, the intricacies of unions are, as I can personally attest to, difficult to keep track of. The Bournish, by contrast maintain two different paths of tradition, as is typical throughout their culture, as defined both those living upon the soil and stone, and those that instead reside amongst waves and wind. The Reformationist faith is particularly prevalent in Kingbourne, and so in both instances it is traditional to make sacrifices to each of the four core elemental states to which the divine are aligned, that of air, earth, fire and water. Trinkets shaped from clay and decorated with all manner of designs are ground to dust and tossed into the breeze, buried amongst soil and stone, baked within a burning flame and cast into river or ocean in honour of each. Some take this process further still, honouring the paraelemental states likewise, but this is a rare occurrence in truth. During the ceremony, a large earthenware bowl is set before the couple, with each of the guests emptying a cup of water, representative of the support they will offer the pair, after which the couple take turns bathing the other's feet. By stark contrast, marriage upon the waves can, by not always, be a far less elaborate affair. The same sacrifices are usually made, by the ceremony may be far more brief, and enacted by the captain of the vessel in place of a priest. At the captain's command, the pair are wed, bringing about celebrations stretching off into the evening.