Denzel Pepper

The Prince Of Pillow-Talk

The Cute Little Trickster

The Whore Of Bethnal Green

Captain Cutie

Grease

Bobby Pepper (Cousin)

ASDA (1988 - 1988)

Denzel Pepper Detective Agency (1988 - present)

Thornton Stationery (1989 - present)

Jebidiah Thornton (1994 - 2009)

ASDA Sales Associate (1988 - 1988)

Private Detective (1988 - Present)

Adult Film Actor (October 1988)

Office Secretary at Cragglethorne Stationery (1989 - 1990)

Salesman at Cragglethorne Stationery (1990 - 1995)

Sales Team Leader at Thornton Stationery (1995 - 1996)

Regional Director Of Sales at Thornton Stationery (1996 - 2001)

Regional Manager at Thornton Stationery (2001 - 2022)

President of Greater London Sales at Thornton Stationery (2022 - present)

Entrepreneur (1967 - present)

Denzel Pepper (born 21 September 1963) is a father, a son, an entrepreneur, a human, emotional, fragile, groovy, full of mistakes, full of poems, full of memories. He is the President of Greater London Sales of Thornton Stationery, as well as DJ and Chief Detective at the Denzel Pepper Detective Agency, an agency which he began in 1988.

Denzel is a loyal man who had been Jebidiah's favourite branch manager. Denzel is a smart, determined, and passionate man, and would do anything for his nearest and dearest friends. He considers his friends as family and he tries his best to keep them together at all times.

Denzel has one deadly weakness, Snakes and their venom. Much like his good friend Cecil Longstaff, Denzel is teriffied of snakes. He is unable to operate within the presence of snakes. Only members of the DPDA know this, so as this doesn't get to his enemies.

## Personal Info

**Strengths:**

* Karate
* T'ai Chi
* Disko Fighting
* Nunchucks
* Drugs

**Weaknesses**

* Venom
* Snakes

## THE 1970s

In April 1970, Denzel's father left him and fled to Australia to avoid paying child support. Denzel's grandfather had also died, and his cousin, DeSaad had ran away to Iceland. Denzel was raised by his Mother, Grandmother, Auntie, and family friend Laura-Jean, an old lady of integrity who would cook chocolate chip biscuits for Denzel.

Denzel grew up in the town of Sowerby Bridge, in West Yorkshire. Growing up, he was obsessed with the 1966 Batman television show, aspiring to become a humble detective like Batman. He claimed his goal in life was to become an internationally renowned detective like Batman.

In 1976, Denzel was sitting in his history class, when a posh boy named Elroy Crookes started saying ''Calderdale is wank.'' Denzel then took a pencil and shouted to Elroy saying ''I will shove this pencil up your arse, then take it out and shove it up your nose so you can smell your shit, pal'' Denzel received a week's worth of detention from his history teacher, Redward Binson. Elroy and Denzel became arch-enemies on that day.

In July 1978, Denzel began a gang named The Halifax Hooligans, with his school-friend, Neil Paramore. The gang were called this despite neither Denzel or Neil being from Halifax. It was called this due to Halifax's reputation as a tough place, which gave the gang a tough image. The gang would regularly get into fights and destroy their enemies.

## THE 1980s

In 1983, Denzel discovered a weed farm in his neighbour's backyard. Denzel began sneaking into his garden at night, stealing his weed, and selling it on for a large price. Denzel became Bradford's most prominent weed dealer under the name 'Grease'. Denzel even set up a weed shop in Bradford Market, however it was shut down in April 1984 when the police discovered his business.

In October 1984, Denzel began a clothing company named Pepper Co, which was aimed at goths. The store operated in an abandoned factory in a field in Midgley. The store's employees were Benjamin Sellars, Denzel, and Benjamin's little brother, Hubert. The store was moderately succesful, however it switfly ended in November 1985, when Denzel and Biff Fletcher got into a fight with a local gang of goths who stole Biff's mother famous strawberry cheesecake.

In 1986, Denzel opened his own nightclub in the city centre of smokin' hot Bradford, next to the newly opened KFC. The club was a relative success attendance-wise, as the club had a friendly and peaceful vibe. However, as Denzel insisted he manage finances for the club, the club quickly went into debt. 23,000 GBP (adjusted for inflation) were lost. It shut down in September 1987, when Denzel declared bankruptcy and changed his name to Stanlee Hobson (after the famous producer Stan Lee). He changed his name back two days later after his mother shouted at him.

In August 1988, Denzel Pepper moved to Camden Town to study at University College London, and gave ownership of the nightclub to his brother, Fabio. He quickly gained local fame as being the best Disco dancer in the area of Greater London. In London, he began a gang of fellow Disco-goers, whom he met mainly through dancing at Discos, besides Tim Crescent. Tim Crescent sold Denzel the keys to a squat below his squat in Elephant & Castle.

In September 1988, Denzel acquired a job at the local Asda, however he was fired in 1989 for being high on LSD. The Asda manager discovered this because Denzel was running round the Asda fully naked shouting ''i'm on loads of lsd so up yours'' Denzel was not charged.

In September 1988, Denzel founded the Denzel Pepper Detective Agency with Benjamin Sellars and Cecil Longstaff.

In January of 1989, Denzel Pepper was offered a job at Cragglethorne Stationery Notting Hill Branch. His job was to hire more employees - as the branch only had 6 employees at the time. Denzel hired several of his friends from the north including Fred Wentsworth, Julia Crosston, and Sally ''Six Eyes'' Weller, as well as Tim Crescent. By April 1989, Denzel became a salesman and placed in charge of the Sales Team.

Also in January 1989, Tim Crescent introduced Denzel to Ian Portabello, a ravester. Ian introduced Tim and Denzel to raves, which the trio would regularly attend. The raves were abandoned in 1992 after Denzel was shot in the leg by a gangster named Sammy G.

In 1989, Denzel moved into a flat in Mile End with Cecil Longstaff.

## THE 1990s

In August 1991, Denzel attempted to apply for a job at a pizza shop, owned by Mr. Andino was a stern man with little tolerance for humor. When he saw Denzel in his sparkly shirt, he immediately turned him away, and told never to come to his pizza shop again. Denzel screamed, and declared a curse on him. ''A curse! A curse! A curse upon your shop, you ugly ginger prick''. Mr Andino, being a highly religious man thought Denzel was the devil.

In February 1992, Denzel began a karate course at Notting Hill Karate Academy. He graduated five months later with a black belt and a deadly sense of fighting knowledge. His eyes were those of a sparrow's, his hands like arrows, his arms like iron, and his feet like spears.

In February 1993, Denzel opened a Diskothek in Camberwell, in an attempt to re-capture the former glory of his Bradford nightclub. This Diskothek was decorated by Denzel. It contained heart shaped decorations (Balloons, settees, television screens), red and pink lighting, and a black ceiling with red heart shaped neon lights. This disko gained Denzel the nicknames Dr. Love, The Maestro of Love, and the Ambassador of Romance.

In November of 1994, it was discovered that the company CEO, William Tansworth had been spending company money to buy drugs, and go on fancy holidays. This led to Jebidiah Thornton enlisting Denzel, who he had worked with until recently into his anti-Tansworth league. In February 1995, Denzel had agreed to help Jebidiah Thornton seize control of Cragglethorne Stationery, and delivered a speech announcing Jebidiah's new plans.

On The 22nd of January 1995, Denzel was promoted to Regional Director of Sales of Notting Hill Branch.

On 7 April 1995, Jebidiah had made the decision to ban any company money from being used on anything. This meant Denzel had to use his own money to organise events and promotional trips for the company. It is estimated that since 1995 he has spend £74.4 million on events.

In September 1995, Denzel had gone up to a club in Hebden on a visit, and saw his brother, Appleby there. Appleby threw a bottle of beer on Denzel's face, until Denzel had riled up his fellow co-workers to beat the shit out of Appleby. Appleby got on his knees and begged and pleaded for Bernard Smith not to give him one of his legendary Great Right Hooks. Denzel has not seen Appleby since, and it is presumed he is dead.

On 22nd October 1995, Denzel was due to give several speeches and announcements at the Sheffield Branch of Thornton Stationery, however Denzel was in a particularly irritable mood for most of the night. At various times he screamed at the audience in German between speeches, and he really screamed at them. Lord knows what he was saying but it didn't sound complimentary. He also played a rather cruel practical joke on the audience. He claimed that he had been to his first concert at the City Hall and then named the band he had seen, the band being the Dickmen. He then asked if anyone else had been at the same concert as him, several people cheered at which point Denzel shouted at them to 'Fuck Off, I just made that up', and turned his back to the audience for the rest of the night.

In August 1996, Denzel dressed up as a gorilla and fought a man at a party in Chelmsford. On 3rd October 1996, Denzel was kidnapped by the Madrid Branch of Thornton Stationery, and taken to Spain, where he lived from 3rd October - 11th October 1996. Denzel described the kidnappers as very nice blokes. The four kidnappers were: Eduardo, Sebastián, Nicolás and Santiago.

In September 1996, Denzel went homeless. He planned a trip to New York City in December of 1996 in an attempt to find a temporary home. A humble Greek man named Mikonos let him hire a one bedroom flat. Denzel had a celebration with Bernard on the first night, and pissed in the flat. This lead to the flat being infested with rats, and Denzel being kicked out. Denzel was left homeless in New York until a reality TV star let him live in his mansion for a week until he found a new place. It is believed this man was Donald Trump (former President of the U.S.) Denzel and Trump became associates in that week and went round pranking people in New York City. It is believed that one of these pranks was the inspiration for The 1998 film Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island. Denzel returned to Kensington on 22nd December 1996.

On 4th February 1997, Denzel went to the Manchester Ritz with Jacquees Higgins - leader of the Claypan Gang, where they downed ten pints of Guinness Extra Stout and 20 packs of cigarettes. At around 8:23 PM, Denzel and Jacquees left the Ritz to go attempt to fight chavs in Manchester. Denzel and Jacquees ran up to a group of 13 - 15 year olds and started picking on them. Jacquees then close lined two of them, speared the other one, and bodyslammed the other. Denzel assisted Jacquees and shot his gun near the idiotic boys, prompting them to cry and piss their pants. Jacquees and Denzel laughed and laughed.

On the 27th May 1997, Denzel's son: Archibald Pepper was born.

In July 1997, Denzel acquired a piloting license after several months of training. He enlisted the help of Cecil Longstaff and Ian Portabello.

On 14th November 1997, Denzel attended a Thornton corporate meeting, where he threw a cardboard cut-out of himself out of the window. It turns out that standing just beneath the window was Jebidiah Thornton, and the cut-out narrowly missed his head and almost decapitated him. Denzel quickly left the meeting and fled to Barbados for two months as to avoid Jebidiah killing him. Jebidiah still doesn't know who threw the cut-out.

In June of 1998, Denzel began a music producing company with Cecil Longstaff named The Chocolate Funkateers. Cecil and Denzel remixed about 50 songs from 1998 - 2001. The name the Chocolate Funkateers has not been used since 2001, however Cecil and Denzel have produced and remixed songs since then.

In 1998, Denzel met famous actor, Leonardo DiCaprio. Denzel asked for a photo with him, and the famous man replied with ''Just take the photo motherfucker''

In May 1999, Denzel attended the premiere of the first Thornton Stationery film; James (1999) produced by Jebidiah Thornton himself. When he arrived at the premiere, Denzel was asked to give a speech. The speech brought tears to the eyes of the lucky viewers. He then sang the Backstreet Boys hit ''I Want It That Way''

When Denzel got of the stage he was swarmed by fans. Denzel shouted in disgust ''Get off me new coat you twats!'' He then spit on the fans who were touching his coat. Later in the night, Denzel's popcorn was spiked with Benadryl by the evil Popcorn vender - Yolanda. Denzel fell asleep and woke up in Las Vegas a day later, surrounded by wild animals including Tigers, Lions, Monkeys and Dogs, who he soon befriended.

In July 1999, Denzel was challenged at his golfing championship by a woman known as Lady Rostefaru. Denzel won 23 - 17. However, the devious Lady Rostefaru somehow managed to scam her way into winning the West London Golfing Championship. Denzel was not happy with this whatsoever, and ran over Lady Rostefaru with his brown Ford Cortina 1973. Denzel was subsequently sued by Lady Rostefaru, however Denzel found a brilliant lawyer named Mark ''Sparks'' Wilkes, who managed to win him the case, and earned Denzel 3.5 million GBP, which Denzel invested in Blockbuster. Later, in August 1999, Denzel hired the claypans to perform a Nerf Gun Drive-By on Lady Rostefaru, which they successfully did. Victor Strongbow reportedly threw a spoon at the evil woman.

## THE 2000s

In 2000, one of Denzel's ex-girlfriends, Camilla told the recently opened Thornton Employee magazine that herself and Denzel used to go out in 1993, and this was a shock because in 1993 the company had a strict no-dating policy to all employees. In August 2000, Denzel and Camilla went out as friends, whilst walking home, Camilla tripped in a puddle and Denzel left her there and ran to his home in Ladbroke Grove. Camilla drowned in the puddle but survived.

In May 2001, Denzel wrote a poem called ''We All Hate Jebidiah.'' it was a hate letter to Jebidiah Thornton. Jebidiah admired Denzel's courage in doing this, as most people who do this would disappear, so Jebidiah promoted Denzel to Branch Manager of Kensington and Chelsea Branch.

In June 2001, Denzel built a shack in Lambeth above the sewers. He spray-painted the sewers white, and put a couch in it. Denzel occasionally rests there. There is a separate article about Denzel's housing history. This shed is used for Denzel to occasionally sleep in when he makes visits to the Thornton Cub Scouts headquarters in Lambeth, where he is praised a hero.

In October 2001, Denzel went on holiday to Mongolia, where he ran into one of his heroes - Jackie Chan, who was sat on the floor crying. Denzel asked Mr Chan what was wrong. Mr Chan said that his manager signed him on to a tour of British holiday resorts demonstrating his martial arts skills to pensioners. Denzel noticed that Mr Chan was wearing cargo shorts and Denzel asked him ''Why are you wearing Cargo shorts?'' This enraged Mr Chan, who jumped up into a fighting stance, Mr Chan kept doing flying kicks to Denzel's face, however Denzel refused to fight because Mr Chan was one of his heroes. When Denzel looked down, he saw a Yorkshire Terrier, who belonged to Mr Chan. Denzel started to cry, then he heard that Mr Chan began laughing at him. Denzel had enough. He gave Chan a somersault roundhouse kick to his face. Denzel shouted to Mr Chan ''Mr Chan! John Wayne, you know John Wayne???'' Jackie Chan simply looked at Denzel and chuckled. Mr Chan said ''You watched Rush Hour 1998 featuring me and Chris Tucker'' Denzel smiled a soft smile and said ''Yes.''

On 23 November 2001, Denzel became the personal assistant of another one of his heroes, Barry White. At one concert, Mr White was due on stage in ten minutes, and Denzel hadn't ironed his shirt yet. Denzel ran up the stairs ran up the stairs, and he reached the kitchen of Arbourthorne Working Men's Club. An ironing board was set up near the cooker with Barry's shirt on it, but Denzel couldn't plug the iron in because it had an American plug on it and the PowerPoint was English. Suddenly, Meryl Streep walked into the room, wearing the same outfit as in 'The Devil Wears Prada' and shouted to Denzel ''Hiya luv, can you make us a cuppa? Two lumps please, thank you.'' Denzel was fired due to not ironing White's shirt. Mr White went on stage shirtless.

In March 2002, Denzel temporarily relocated to the Savannah, where he started his own small settlement made up of him, Bernard, and his sister. Whilst in the Savannah, Denzel took new-born Lions, Panthers and Gorillas and trained them to become Thornton war animals. The most successful was the Thornton War Rhino. Denzel moved back to Kensington in June 2002. Rip Ronnie the Rhino.

In October 2002, Denzel decided to try learning how to skate, and attempted to become the British Tony Hawk - Skateboarding Legend. However, Denzel soon gave up, and took up ketamine instead.

In February 2003, Denzel Pepper was moved to the Paris branch of Thornton Stationery, where he lived and worked for three years. During his stay in Paris, Denzel developed a passion for cheese-making, and opened a cheese shop called '*Monsieur Fromage*'. The shop was an instant success with the Parisian population. By mid-2003 Denzel became a popular solo garage DJ in France, going by the name of The Little Man, and even performing sets with Craig David.

In the year of our lord, 2013, Denzel acquired a piloting license in an attempt to reach Türkiye in as little time as possible. This incredible feat earned Denzel the Outstanding Achievement Award in the 2014 Thornton Awards.

In June 2022, Denzel was offered a job at Thornton Stationery Corporate Branch as the President of Greater London Regional Sales, after being recommended by former President of Greater London Regional Sales, Trevor Stansfield, whom also worked in the Kensington and Chelsea Branch from 1995 to 2013.

On the 24th of June 2022, Denzel raided a W.H. Smith Store with Bernard, Cecil, Mark Wilkes and Father Salt in an attempt to disturb the day-to-day on-goings of W.H. Smith, and make people go to a Thornton Store. The store attempted to call the police on the five, however, Mark Wilkes threatened them with a subpoena.

On the 16th of September 2022, Denzel opened a pancake shop in Hounslow. He told the press that ever since he was a little boy he had dreamed of owning his own pancake shop. Denzel makes luxurious hand-crafted pancakes with his good friend Benjamin Sellars and his daughter, Penelope. Sometimes, Cecil Longstaff helps out and adds his magic sauces to the pancakes, however Cecil is a very busy man and can not always make it to Denzel's pancake shop.

## Relationships

**Allies**

* Cecil Longstaff
* Bernard Smith
* Benjamin Sellars
* Tim Crescent
* Julia Crosston
* Fred Wentsworth
* Jasper Scunthorpe
* Trevor Stansfield
* Darius Wiggleton
* Demetrius Maxwell
* Barry White
* Derek Hobbs
* Tom Jones
* The Claypan Gang
* West Grimsby Massive
* The Street Cats
* Cleethorpes Posse
* David Penzance
* Jebidiah Thornton (1988 - 2009)
* Lady Rostefaru (February 1998 - February 1998)
* Father Salt
* Montgomery Thornton
* Harold Fillmore
* Vlad Petrov
* Jock Henley
* Chris Butter

**Enemies**

1. Elroy Crookes
2. Elvis Marshall
3. Lady Rostefaru
4. The Butcher
5. Brody Branson
6. Elijah Doherty
7. Caleb Johanson
8. Benjamin Shapiro

## GALLERY

Denzel in his home in May 2021Denzel in the hospital 2019Denzel at Thornton Stationery annual meeting 12 July 2021Denzel outside of his flat in 1985Denzel signing an autograph for Cecil's cousin in 2008Denzel in October 2021