The Crusade of Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins

*He came, with all his broccolli*

*And gave it to the world to see*

*How powerful veganism could be*

*He said, "Come, join with me!"*

*And they all sat down on his knee*

*And shared his broccoli!*

## **Chapter 1**

It was a dark and stormy night. Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins stared out over the horizon, watching herds of hunters chase their prey across vast, windy fields. He turned away from them, turning back towards the cave in which he had gathered his acolytes. Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins was planning to start the crusade soon, and he needed to make sure everyone was ready. He found Akkunai sitting in the front, proudest of them all, shuffling in their silver plate armor with a flag of broccoli resting in their arms. He then found Shimmer, dusting off her helmet and fitting it awkwardly on her head.

Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins chuckled. He had certainly gathered an interesting group. Stormtorch sat in the corner, glancing over a book on vegans.

"I don't know how you're supposed to read in this, Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins!" he explained, glaring through eye slits in his helmet.

"I wasn't exactly planning on reading a lot," Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins responded. Lightangel shook her head, rolling her eyes, and walked up next to Akkunai. He counted everybody; they were still missing Garnet and Nightshifter.

"Ahem. NIGHTSHIFTEEEERR!!" he roared, the sound echoing across the cavern. Nightshifter poked his head out from behind a rock, munching on broccoli. "Nightshifter, we were supposed to give that to the people, not you!" Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins cried.

"Relax, we have plenty more," Garnet said, walking into the cavern with her clanging armor. "By the way, I think you gave me a size too big. My voice echoes in my own *helmet,*" she told Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins. He just shrugged.

"Not my problem. Let's get moving!" he exclaimed, pounding a fist into the air.

"YEAH!" everyone said, almost in unison. And with that, they waltzed out of the cave, armor clanging and tripping. They would have to work on that.

## **Chapter 2**

"Alright, here we have our first target: a town called Hamburber. We must convert them to veganism!" Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins roared.

"YEAH!" exclaimed Nightshifter, brandishing a sword.

"*NIGHTSHIFTER WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"*Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins gasped. Nightshifter looked disappointed.

"We're not going to be killing anyone?" he asked sadly. Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins sighed.

"No, Nightshifter, this is a *vegan* crusade." With that, the rest of the group groaned, pulling out weapons from behind their backs and dropping them on the ground.

"*WHERE THE !@#$% DID YOU GET THOSE?"*Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins cried. Everyone looked at Stormtorch.

"Last time I checked, when you wear armor and go on a crusade you typically use *weapons*." He said, indignant. Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins facepalmed. They really were a hopeless case. However, they wandered into the village, marching pass townspeople, wide-eyed and opened-mouthed. Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins paused in front of a villager stuffing her face full of chicken.

"May I ask where you found that?" he asked politely. She glanced upwards, then pointed at a meat seller, sitting behind a booth a few meters away. Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins smiled warmly, then walked over to the meat seller and promptly decapitated him.

"Citizens of Hamburber, we are the Crusaders of Veganism. What you just witnessed was an act of justice; no animal should have to suffer the cruelty of being killed simply for the way they taste!" He roared out.

"Looked more like a murder to me," one of the townspeople grumbled, unnerved. Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins paused.

"Hey, if that looked like a murder, what of the hundreds- no, *thousands*of animals you have killed? You slaughter carelessly, but when one of you own dies, that's when you decide you value life? You're going to need to fix that attitude right now if you know what's good for you," Garnet added. Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins cast her a thankful glance at her.

"I agree. I think we should change our ways!" one of the townspeople said, moving forwards with another dragon with them. Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins smiled.

"What are your names? I am Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins," he said. The dragon grinned.

"I'm Orange, and this is Deep-Sapphire. Nice to meet you, Dekiasidke.. uh... sir!"

## **Chapter 3**

Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins and the rest of the crusade marched onwards, stopping only for food and sleep. Finally, after 2 days of walking, they reached the second town: Hotdawg. It was considerably larger than Hamburber, and even from a distance Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins could see the fields.

"It's a shame. All that land could have been used for raising crops," Orange sighed. Stormtorch nodded in agreement.

"Hopefully, we'll be able to do what we came to do *without* murder..." Garnet muttered. Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins raised his head in defiance.

"It was *justified*," he responded.

"Hardly," Shimmer said, with an acompanying eyeroll.

"Look, the past is in the past, lets cut to the chase. We gotta convert this town to VEGANISM!" Akkunai yelled!" And with that, they marched in, single file line, into the village of Hotdawg. Sapphire watched eagerly from the back, Akkunai led proudly in the front, Nightshifter tried to step on Stormtorch's tail, and Garnet and Shimmer looked on, frowning. *What a crew*... Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins thought. A dragon approached them, a nervous smile on their face.

"Welcome to Hamburber, where-"

"Enough of that, we are the Crusaders of Veganism, and we are here to stop y'all from eating meat!" Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins roared. The dragon stared at them blankly.

"Uh, if you have a request, you can talk to the mayor, I guess..." the dragon said, wide-eyed. Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins smirked proudly and marched passed them. Orange glanced apologetically at the dragon as they all filed pass.

They marched up to the mayor's office, knocking loudly on the door with clanging metal armor.

"WHAT IS THAT NOISE!?" a dragon roared, covering his ears as he stepped out.

"Are you the mayor?" Garnet asked simply.

"Yes, YES I'm the mayor, what do you want?" he growled.

"First of all, calm it down, and second, we are here to convert this town to veganism." Stormtorch said firmly.

"Veganism? We've been living off of meat for the past hundreds of years!" the mayor yelled, clearly not listening to Stormtorch's first comment.

"Well that's going to stop now. Veganism is a lot healthier, and better for the environment. All that land that you waste for grazing could be used to grow crops, and it would supply you with double the amount of food you are receiving now!" Nightshifter explained. The mayor just rolled his eyes.

"We aren't at a food shortage, and I'm *certainly* not taking orders from the likes of you!" the mayor roared, slamming the door shut.

"That didn't go well," Shimmer grumbled.

"Don't worry," Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins said. "I have a plan."

## **Chapter 4**

Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins felt happy. That was a strange thing; being a Vegan Demon usually left him with a lot of things to do, and those things would come back to him soon after, but for the time being, he was happy. Vegans weren't common among the Underworld, which left some complications from both fulfilling his role as a demon and also being vegan. But now, the Crusaders had come up with a devious plan that would allow him to be both at once.

Sapphire, Lightangel, and Shimmer were ready, waiting, by the side of the mayor's office. Above them was the highest window of the office, where the climax of the operation would occur. After cheking to make sure the coast was clear, Lightangel ran to Stormtorch and Nightshifter while Sapphire guided anyone who walked by away. Stormtorch and Nightshifter approached the front door, knocking and waiting for the mayor. Finally, the mayor appeared, and groaned when he saw who it was.

"We'd like to have a short meeting with you about our beliefs. If you don't agree with us, you won't see us again." Nightshifter had to resist the urge to snicker. After that, the mayor reluctantly agreed to meet, and as they walked inside, Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins was waiting, out of sight, in another room where he had managed to sneak in. The mayor led Nightshifter and Stormtorch into his room, which just so happened to be the one with the highest window. After a brief discussion, in which the mayor (obviously) didn't agree with what the Crusaders had to offer, Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins barged in, opened the window, and the villagers couldn't explain the large indentation in the ground.

Lightangel, Sapphire, and Shimmer cleaned up the messy scene, and while all that happened, Garnet, Akkunai and Orange helped handle the legal situation, making a dragon named Ripple mayor. With Ripple in charge, the animals raised for slaughter were set free, and crops were grown in the fields. Now, leaving the town of Hamburbur with a vegan supporter in charge and a sense of pride and accomplishment, the Crusaders of Dekiasidkelisloekapsjeksyfins carried on.