Sunday Justice - Session 2

# Don’t Split the Boat

23 Apr 21 IRL

Thursday 7/4/2250 SooN

It’s Thursday the Fourth of July, 2250. Sunday Justice is trotting through Hoboken on his horse Buttons. Young people casting are casting magic and causing mischief. Fireworks go off in the distance over the river. All around people are reenacting wars, famous moments from TV, and playing movies via fireworks. As it is the 200th anniversary of the end of the war, people are celebrating and generally jovial.

Weaving his way through the Sea of Chads, SJ deftly maneuvered Buttons through the throngs of people and chaos. Due to high perception, he sees diamond dust in several individuals’ bags. As Sunday Justice reaches the bridge where Hoboken connects to downtown Jersey City. The New York City skyline looms beautiful to the East. SJ is making his way towards Large Marge’s location after having been told by Jason Momoa.

Sunday Justice notes two potential places to stay for the night. The Moldy Banjo, a dive bar but famous for up-and-coming musicians, and The Pepper Shaker. The Pepper Shaker is an hourglass shaped building (70-80’ tall). The first floor is a circular room with the bartenders all shaking, not stirring, drinks. Drinks are thrown across the room via magical means to land for their patrons. SJ realizes that he cannot afford there and moves across the street towards The Moldy Banjo.

The inside of the Irish themed pub is covered in decades of substances not worth mentioning. It’s obvious to any onlooker which paths individuals take as the remaining area stands in the 2-3” thick muck and mold. SJ dismounts but escorts Buttons into the bar.

The bartender is a foot and a half blue faerie with white butterfly wings. As SJ cannot afford to pay for his and Buttons’s lodging, he offers up his services washing dishes, cleaning, bouncing, or being useful. The bartender asks if he can shuck oysters. They ask if he can buck a biscuit, he says yes. He is asked if he can cake a cow, SJ says no. “In Jersey City bucking a biscuit means fuck you.” SJ said it’s how they make biscuits back home with a bit of honey in the middle. The bartender informs him that if he buys a beer, the room comes free. He is told to walk into the bathroom, go in to the short stall, then enter the door behind the urinal and he will arrive at his room.

A sign hangs says the moldy banjo is not responsible for any diseases sexual or otherwise while sleeping in this establishment.

SJ enters through the door and enters a 15’x60’ hostel type room. Bunkbeds line the left wall, single beds line the right.  Two individuals play a dice game in the back corner. Sunday Justice and Buttons decide to share a bunkbed with SJ on the top bunk. He tucks in Buttons and tells him to take the first watch. SJ finds several books on his bed.  He is excited to find Hank Talltree’s “The Mystery of Dealthly Mesa.” But as he opens it, the book had a false cover and was actually “Your Personal Whore” by Hyperdreams. “Dressing Room Show” by Scarlet. “Chocolate Covered” by Scarlet. “Milk Her” by Stephanie.

15con/15con/10int/7wis

Every time SJ is about to find sleep, he thinks he feels something touching him. Some are real, some is just paranoia in his horrible surroundings. He wakes up and his Clint Eastwood hat, his Captain shooter, his crowbar, grappling hook and his 50’ of rope are all missing. The two individuals who had been playing the dice game are gone. He converses with the bartender and tells her he was robbed. The bartender informs him he was the only lodger last night. SJ is very upset over his hat being taken.

Insight check – 24 (nat20)

The bartender isn’t lying, but isn’t telling the whole truth. SJ is upset and does not accept the answer. He just wants to know who took his belongings. She points at the sign. He missed “\*\*we are not responsible for any items you may or may not lose while in this space.” The bartender does not know who took his belongings. He bargains with her and she tells him to buck a biscuit. Buttons and SJ leave to seek out Large Marge.

SJ and Buttons go to the magical tattoo parlor they saw the night before. The ground floor is roughly the size of a basketball court. There are four seats on the left, four on the right side, there is one more larger seat open in the back with “Large Marge tattoo place with charge ya” over it. He walks up to reception stating he came across the country to seek out getting a tattoo from Large Marge. There is a fishbowl on the counter. A blue and purple grung from Madagascar is inside. The employee asks if he has an appointment. There is a hole underneath the fishbowl that leads down in to the desk. The next opening is December 5th. There is a cancellation for today. They ask if SJ has money, he passes a deception check with a 17th and successfully signs the paperwork for the tattoo appointment. He is instructed to sit down and wait.

A beefy goliath female walks into the room. A 6’7” dragonborn female walks in. A Leonan with rippling muscles walks in. All fail to be Large Marge. A female leans over him and asks who he is waiting for. A huge nose, large tucks, floppy ears 8.5-9’ talking elephant startles him. It’s Large Marge! He offers her an apple which she happily swallows in one bite. The room shakes as she walks so she passes pass without a trace so she ceases the trembling. She drops the chair all the way down to the floor so SJ still has to leap to get on it. Large Marge comments that “crying is a free action” as she notices SJ tearing up. She asks if Buttons is getting tattooed. SJ feels bad and admits that he ran out of money, stayed at The Moldy Banjo, and cannot pay for the tattoo. He sits there crying. Has to make a little bitch check (CR 5, he rolls a 2). She pats his head and plops him on the back of the seat. She looks him in the eye and asks why he slept at The Moldy Banjo? She tells him she cannot tattoo him for free. He offers to earn it somehow. She asks if he’s heard of the Black Ooze problem in the river. He says “yes” and he continues snifflying. She informs him her friends are going to rid the water and asks if he would join them. He agrees. She offers to tattoo him now, but he says he has to earn it first. The grung is furious at his lying. She informs him to meet her friends at the edge of the water at Camuniple (?) and Lexington. As she roars “good luck,” the bowl and the windows shake.

SJ and Buttons head down to the crossroads meeting point. A large sunburned tortle and goliath ready the ropes on a boat getting ready for departure. He spots a female tiefling who asks if he’s there to help or is just standing there. SJ informs her that Large Marge sent him. “You’re going to shoot black oozes?” The tiefling is not impressed, but offers her hand and informs him her name is Leesi. Paavu (goliath) and Maurice (tortle). Maurice is the captain.

The boat is roughly 60’ long by 20’ wide. The motor runs off of shards. Leesi is not impressed that SJ has no idea what the plan is, but chooses not to tell him. The boat takes off to where the ooze are in the distance. Ahead of them, the Hudson river changes from brown to black the further they go. The speed of the boat drops the further they go. They notice the boat is riding on top of the ooze. The ooze is eating away the sides of the boat and begins to try to come aboard. Maurice advises that the protective diamond surface will last for roughly an hour. Maurice and Leesi pick up two oozes in their nets and throws them onto the deck of the boat.

Initiative – SJ 18 (higher dex goes first), Maurice 18, Paavu 17, Leesi 16

As the oozes move, they release water from their bodies. They struggle to maintain structure as they have absorbed the surrounding water. Their plan is to bring the oozes on board and kill them one by one. SJ pulls out his two pistols. Both hit. 15 points of damage. The ooze takes damage and absorbs the bullets. Maurice pulls out a trident and swings, 17 damage. Paavu swings out a great axe, one miss, 14 damage. Leesi casts inflict wounds at 3rd level 37 damage. The ooze grabs Maurice’s arm, he takes 24 points of ooze damage. SJ climbs on top of an awning to have a better light of sight on the ooze. SJ shoots again, two hits, 15 damage. Paavu swings, crits, 41 damage. Leesi casts bless on the party, bonus action healing word on Maurice. SJ asks if lighting them on fire while the oozes are in the water if it will do any good. Leesi says they haven’t tried. SJ suggests trying it after they kill the two on board. SJ shoots again, misses, #blessed, both hit, 10 damage. Leesi inflicts wounds and both oozes are now dead. SJ once again asks if there is a more effective way of clearing the river. He states he has several vials of oil which they could cast over and light on fire. Maurice says he believes they may have tried in the past, but the fire burns out. SJ suggests finding the source of the ooze instead. SJ shoots his tiny guns, 22 damage. Another ooze is brought back on board. Leesi casts mending on the awning which had taken damage. Button’s is just chillin. SJ shoots, crit fails on Pinky, gun locks up and the bullet shoots through the top of the gun; gun is broken. The ooze is killed and reverts back to Hudson River water. SJ points out that the diamond coating on the boat cannot hold up to this onslaught for the supposed hour, or event five minutes, Paavu states “We will die with pride. Large Marge trusted us. We will die for her glory.” SJ suggests they can earn more honor by finding the source of the ooze and ending it for Large Marge. Persuasion check 18. The barbarians pause as they hear this, but return back to fighting. SJ asks if Leesi has an idea of where the source could be rather than attempng to fight the ooze where they are. She points behind him and sees a kaiju-eqse black ooze rising out of the water. The shadow eclipses the length of the boat. Oozes swarm around its shape. It flings out an arm to attack the boat. SJ cries out to warn his comrades. In one fell swoop, the ooze rolls a nat20 inflicting 152 damage breaking the boat in half. Maurice and Paavu’s side of the boat breaks apart from the side with SJ and Leesi. Both begin to become engulfed in black ooze. The boat sits in the middle of the water nowhere near a shoreline. SJ cries out to Leesi if she can somehow get them back to shore. Leesi attempts to banish the kaijooze. The ooze rolls a -1 con or charisma save. It blinks out of existence. The boat remains trapped in the unending sea of ooze that was once the Hudson River. SJ opens the five oil vials and dumps them overboard. He attempts to use his tinderbox to spark the oil. As the spark touches the oil, some ignites and the sound of the oozes begin screaming. The two halves of the boat continue to sink. SJ pleads for Leesi to cast mending on the boat or for Maurice to start the engines. Leesi looks at the water and casts flamestrike. She jams a sapphire spell shard into her thigh from which a bolt of fire shoots out striking oozes. She dives in to the water attempting to swim through the gap in the ooze. SJ yells out for Buttons to jump over and swim to safety. SJ rolls a 4. Buttons athletic check +7 = 15. Buttons gets behind SJ and attempts to push him through the water. Maurice and Paavu both save and are swimming through the ooze. Leesi is struggling. The 20’ path reduces to 15’. Failed save. The ooze is now 10’ from SJ. SJ attempts to cast minor illusion showing his body swim away. It fails and he has to make an athletics check, 6. The ooze surrounds SJ. Buttons swims behind SJ and forces him on to his back. As Buttons continues swimming, he is consumed by the ooze. Right as they get to the shoreline, Buttons is submerged by the ooze. SJ lays on the shoreline screaming for help. Leesi attempts to cast destroy water. D20 + 6 = 17 The water disappears. Buttons falls below the ooze as the ooze was on top of the water. Buttons is on the edge of death. Button’s is laying on the ground, SJ trembles holding Button’s head. As he stroaks her head he pours a healing potion down Buttons’s throat. He promises they’ll get matching tattoos. SJ swears he can hear Buttons say he loves him too. As the party are safe on the shores of the Hudson river, the kaijooze blinks back in to existance and settles back in to the water.