Truth Or Dare

**Truth Or Dare** is the 13th episode of Kong Does it Again.

## Plot

*Jimmy Kong and Mister Snake are seen wandering around Micycle’s grocery store. Jimmy Kong is carrying a shopping bag.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Yeah, I think that’s the last thin-

*A weasel wearing a bow and a skirt rounds the corner.*

**Millie:**Hello sir, is there anything I ca… oh, uh, heh. Hey, Mister Snake.

**Mister Snake:** Hello, Millie.

**Jimmy Kong:** Who are you?

**Millie:** I’m Micycle’s wife, I’ve been running this store ever since he went to jail.

**Jimmy Kong:** Oh, yeah, that was kind of my fault. Sorry.

**Millie:** I miss him very much, and I know he’s going to be in there for a long time, but I’m still staying faithful to him. Uh, gotta go do something. Bye!

*Millie dashes off in the other direction.*

**Mister Snake:** I know for a fact she is NOT staying faithful to Micycle.

**Jimmy Kong:** How so?

**Mister Snake:** I hooked up with her a week ago.

**Jimmy Kong:** Oh.

**Mister Snake:** Hey, it wouldn’t be the first time a snake ate a weasel.

**Jimmy Kong:**Like what, you actually killed her? That’s really barbari- oh god I get it now.

*Mister Snake starts laughing. The shot cuts to USB and Isotope sitting at the kitchen table, with a full Connect Four board in front of them. USB looks angry.*

**Isotope:** What do you mean you don’t wanna play again?!

**USB:** You have won twelve times in a row!

**Isotope:** Sounds like you’re being a sore loser.

*Jimmy Kong and Mister Snake barge into the kitchen.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Elimination time, ugly bastards!

*The scene changes to Les Explosifs standing in the backyard, in front of Jimmy Kong.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Hello, Les Explosifs, you have lost again. You got twenty-two votes. If I call your name, you are safe, and you will get one of these big peppers.

*Jimmy Kong unveils a handful of large red peppers.*

**Fish Bowly:** Those look too spicy for me!

**Jimmy Kong:** Weakling. The people who got no votes are Bubble Chat, Eraser Cap, Fish Bowly, and Night Cap.

*Jimmy Kong throws out peppers to the contestants with zero votes. Fish Bowly’s pepper lands inside of him, and Floppy eats it.*

**Floppy:** MMMM I LOVE PEPPERS

**Jimmy Kong:** Mister Snake, you only got one vote.

*Jimmy Kong throws the pepper to Mister Snake, who swallows it in one bite.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Computery and Red Velvet also got one vote each, making them safe.

*Jimmy Kong throws peppers to Computery and Red Velvet. Red Velvet takes a bite of his.*

**Red Velvet:** OW! OW!! REALLY HOT!!

**Computery:**I'm not going to bother with mine.

**Jimmy Kong:** Hey USB, you're eliminated.

**USB:** WHAT?!

**Jimmy Kong:**Haha, just kidding! You got two votes.

*Jimmy Kong throws a pepper to USB.*

**USB:**Phew! What a relief.

*USB takes a bite of her pepper.*

**USB:** Huh, oh, ow, that's really not good, actually, that's really spicy, augh-

**Jimmy Kong:**Cola and Isotope! It's down to just the two of you.

**Isotope:**What? This is impossible!

**Cola:**You mean improbable.

**Jimmy Kong:** Wow, turns out Cola was smarter the whole time. Who would have thought?

*Isotope gasps.*

**Isotope:**Cola, you jerk! You've been insulting my intelligence ever since the first episode!

**Cola:** Oh yeah, I forgot I did that.

**Jimmy Kong:** Stop squabbling so I can announce who lost. One of you is safe with eight votes, and the other is eliminated with nine. Safe with eight votes is…

**Jimmy Kong:** Cola!

**Isotope:** But evidence suggested I would win!

**Jimmy Kong:** When it comes to the viewers, there's no predicting anything. Sorry, Isotope.

*Jimmy Kong grabs his remote.*

**Isotope:** You can't do this to me! I BUILT that remo-

*Isotope explodes.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Everybody in the house. It's challenge time.

*The shot cuts to Jimmy Kong and the contestants in the kitchen.*

**Jimmy Kong:**Alright, everybody. Today we will be playing truth or dare!

**Poke Egg:** That's not very interesting.

**Jimmy Kong:** Wise words coming from YOU, Poke Egg. Anyways, when chosen, you'll choose either truth or dare, and then take one of those from their respective hats.

*Jimmy Kong holds out a green hat and a purple hat, labeled “Truth” and “Dare”.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Whichever team successfully completes more of their truths and dares will win. Eraser Cap, you go first.

**Eraser Cap:** Huh? Don't we normally go in alphabetical order?

**Jimmy Kong:** Jimmy Kong does what he wants. Truth or dare?

**Eraser Cap:** Truth.

*Jimmy Kong holds out the truth hat, which Eraser Cap takes a paper slip out of. She reads it.*

**Eraser Cap:** “Who would you marry out of everybody in the cast?”. I think Toxic Mushroom would protect me, and I like that.

*Toxic Mushroom is seen blushing.*

**Toxic Mushroom:** I’m flattered.

**Jimmy Kong:**You're next, Bracelety.

**Bracelety:**Wow, you didn't divide us by teams? What an irregular episode! Dare.

*Bracelety grabs a dare from the dare hat.*

**Bracelety:**“Step on a mousetrap”. Oh, no.

*The shot cuts to a mousetrap on the floor, Bracelety nervously hovering her foot over it.*

**Contestants:** STEP! STEP! STEP! STEP!

*Bracelety steps on the trap.*

**Bracelety:** AAAAAAAAAA!

**Jimmy Kong:**Haha, sexy. Fish Bowly, you're going next.

**Fish Bowly:** I choose dare, as terrifying as that just was.

*Jimmy Kong tries to hand Fish Bowly the dare hat.*

**Fish Bowly:** Uh, Jimmy Kong? Could you pick one for me?

**Jimmy Kong:** Right, right! No arms.

*Jimmy Kong grabs a dare from the hat.*

**Jimmy Kong:**“Do two shots of vodka”.

**Fish Bowly:** Sorry, Jimmy, but Floppy and I are teetotal.

**Floppy:** THE DARE IS A BETRAYAL OF OUR PRINCIPLESSSS

**Jimmy Kong:** You know what? I will be fair, but stern. Let's make it two shots of hot sauce.

*Jimmy Kong fills two shot glasses with hot sauce. He puts it up to Fish Bowly’s mouth.*

**Jimmy Kong:**One…

*Fish Bowly takes the first shot of hot sauce. Jimmy Kong puts the other one up two his mouth.*

**Jimmy Kong:** ...two!

*Fish Bowly takes the second shot of hot sauce, and starts coughing and spluttering.*

**Jimmy Kong:** See! That wasn't so bad.

**Fish Bowly:**My mouth REALLY hurts right now.

**Jimmy Kong:**R.I.C., you're up.

**R.I.C.:**Give me truth, Jimmy.

*Jimmy Kong grabs a truth out of the truth hat.*

**Jimmy Kong:** “Say the most illegal thing you've ever done”.

**R.I.C.:**Outside of this game?

**Jimmy Kong:**Well obviously, this game makes everybody do illegal things.

**R.I.C.:** Well… once, I cheated on a math test in elementary school.

**Jimmy Kong:**For shame, R.I.C.!

**R.I.C.:**I know, it's really bad!!

**Jimmy Kong:** Just “A” test? When I was in school, I cheated on every test.

**R.I.C.:** Oh.

**Jimmy Kong:**Cola, you're up.

**Cola:** Dare.

*Cola grabs a dare from the dare hat.*

**Cola:** “Drink five Coke Onions”. Easy! That's the easiest dare I've ever heard!

*Jimmy Kong grabs five Coke Onions from the fridge and places them on the table. Cola grabs one and cracks it open.*

**Cola:** Watch this.

*Cola starts chugging the Coke Onion can. Multiple fade transitions of her drinking each can happen. She finishes the last can, and slams it on the table.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Impressive! Well done.

**Cola:** Wait… hold on.

**Jimmy Kong:**What's the matter?

**Cola:** Is five cans more liquid than-

*Cola suddenly turns beige.*

**Cola:** OH NO! NOW *I’M* A CAN OF COKE ONION!

**Jimmy Kong:**Darn. Good luck being beige. Four 2.0, you're up.

**Four 2.0:** TRUTH IS THE FOUNDATION OF OUR WORLD.

**Jimmy Kong:** We all know our history is built on deceit, you infertile buffoon, but take a truth slip.

*Four 2.0 takes a slip from the truth hat.*

**Four 2.0:** “WHO WAS YOUR FIRST KISS”. BEING AN AUTOMATON BUILT EXCLUSIVELY FOR WARFARE NOBODY EVER CARED ENOUGH TO KISS ME.

**Jimmy Kong:**That's heart-wrenching. You'll find romance someday. Bubble Chat, you're up.

**Bubble Chat:** Dare. :)

*Bubble Chat grabs a paper slip from the dare hat and places it on the table so he can read it.*

**Bubble Chat:**Eat a WHOLE bag of candy?! :000

*Everybody groans.*

**Poorly-Made Card:** This is SO biased.

**Jimmy Kong:**Goddamnit. I did not anticipate this would happen. Here’s your candy, you gluttonous harlot.

*Jimmy Kong puts a big bag of M&Ms on the table. Bubble Chat eats them really fast.*

**Bubble Chat:**Today, I am the happiest boy on earth :)

**Jimmy Kong:** I hope you die of a heart attack. Domino, you pick.

**Domino:** Truth.

*Domino reaches in the truth hat and grabs a truth.*

**Domino:** “Who would you kill first out of the KDIA cast?”. Alarm Clock, even if he's already dead.

**Jimmy Kong:** That’s fair, I think. Computery.

**Computery:** Give me a dare!

*Jimmy reaches in the hat for a dare and reads it.*

**Jimmy Kong:** “Do the ice bucket challenge”. Ha! Remember that, guys?

**Computery:**Jimmy Kong, I can't do that!

**Jimmy Kong:** Nonsense, that was a hysterical trend! Let's go.

*The shot cuts to Jimmy Kong holding a bucket of ice water over Computery in the backyard.*

**Computery:**Please, Jimmy Kong, you don't understand!

*Jimmy Kong pours out the ice bucket on Computery, who electrocutes and dies. His screen turns black.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Ha ha.

*The scene changes back to the kitchen.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Your turn, Poke Egg.

**Poke Egg:** Truth.

*Jimmy Kong grabs a truth from the truth hat.*

**Jimmy Kong:** “What is one thing you would change about yourself?”.

**Poke Egg:** I would like to not be so easy to break anymore.

**Jimmy Kong:** That’d be a good choice!

*Jimmy Kong swings a golf club and breaks Poke Egg.*

**Poorly-Made Card:** Didn't you say you were gonna break them a whole bunch throughout the whole contest? That's the first time you broke them yourself.

**Jimmy Kong:**Hey, you're right! What the hell? Regardless, you're next, PMC.

**Poorly-Made Card:** Dare.

*Poorly-Made Card grabs a dare from the hat and reads it.*

**Poorly-Made Card:** “Get a tattoo from Jimmy Kong”. You know, given that I'm paper and all, that doesn't sound so bad!

**Jimmy Kong:** I was gonna have the whole nine yards with the tattoo gun, but since you're a card and all I suppose I'll just use a sharpie. Turn around.

*PMC turns around and Jimmy Kong writes “Property of Jimmy Kong” on his back. He turns back and looks at it.*

**Poorly-Made Card:** Sweet.

**Jimmy Kong:** Red Velvet, give it a go.

**Red Velvet:** Dare, please.

*Jimmy Kong grabs a dare from the hat.*

**Jimmy Kong:** “Eat the slimiest slug in the world”. Hold on, lemme get him.

*Jimmy Kong pulls out a slug from his pocket.*

**Slimy Slug:** Hello. I am the slimiest slug in the world. You must eat me, or else I will feel great sorrow and disappointment.

**Red Velvet:** Uh, I suppose I have to…

**Slimy Slug:** Gee wilkins, am I excited.

*Jimmy Kong dangles the slug over Red Velvet’s mouth and drops it. He swallows it in one gulp and looks displeased.*

**Red Velvet:** That wasn't very nice, he was very slimy.

**Jimmy Kong:** Ilobulus, truth or dare?

**Ilobulus:** I would like a dare.

*Ilobulus grabs a dare slip.*

**Ilobulus:** “Drink two shots of hot sauce”. Sorry Jimmy Kong, but I am allergic to hot sauce.

**Jimmy Kong:** You know what? I will be stern, but fair. Let's make it two shots of vodka.

*The shot immediately changes to Ilobulus downing two shot glasses of vodka.*

**Ilobulus:** Yikes, that was harsh.

**Jimmy Kong:** USB.

**USB:** Truth.

*USB reaches from the hat and reads their slip.*

**USB:** “Yes?”. Yeah.

**Jimmy Kong:** Pretty satisfactory answer. Toxic Mushroom, do you want a truth or a dare?

**Toxic Mushroom:** I think truths are for wimps. Lemme see a dare.

*Toxic Mushroom grabs a dare slip and reads it.*

**Toxic Mushroom:** “Put your hand on a hot stove”. I already regret my decision.

*The scene changes to Toxic Mushroom about to put his hand on a red hot stove. He slams it down and keeps it there.*

**Toxic Mushroom:** AAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHH!

**Jimmy Kong:** Jesus, oh god! I wish I hadn't written that. Oh Christ. I'm so sorry. Go to the bathroom and put that in some cold water or something. God. I need to start thinking about my actions.

*Toxic Mushroom runs to the bathroom.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Seal, truth or dare.

**Seal:** Arf!

**Jimmy Kong:** Jump once for truth, twice for dare.

*Seal jumps once. Jimmy Kong grabs a truth from the truth hat.*

**Jimmy Kong:** “Would you kill your best friend for a billion dollars?”

**Seal:** Arf!

**Jimmy Kong:** You barbarian! Hearty, your turn.

**Hearty:**The dares are scary. I'm gonna pick truth.

*Hearty grabs a truth from the truth hat. She reads it and starts to get embarrassed.*

**Hearty:**Um… oh no, I…

**Jimmy Kong:**What's the matter?

**Hearty:** Jimmy Kong, I don't think I ca-

**Jimmy Kong:** Gimme.

*Jimmy Kong grabs the slip, reads it, and starts laughing. Everybody starts asking what it is.*

**Jimmy Kong:**“Confess to your crush that you love them.”

**Red Velvet:**Of course Hearty got that one.

*Hearty turns to Calligraphy.*

**Hearty:** Calligraphy, I… I don't know how to tell you this. I know I've said I love lots of people and things, but when I talk to you… I feel nervous in a way I don't understand. I get all excited and… anxious. I don't know if you feel the same way but I really like you a lot.

*Calligraphy sighs a sigh of relief.*

**Calligraphy:** I always liked you too, Hearty! I just thought you would think I was weird if I told you. I'm so glad we can both be open about it.

*Hearty smooches Calligraphy and they both look satisfied.*

**Calligraphy:**Hey, uh… I had a ring pop that I was gonna eat, but I want you to have it.

**Hearty:** You don't mean…!

*Calligraphy grabs her ring pop and presents it to Hearty.*

**Calligraphy:** Will you marry me, Hearty?

**Hearty:** Yes! Of course, yes!

*Calligraphy slips the ring pop onto Hearty’s ring finger. Hearty admires it.*

**Hearty:**It's beautiful.

**Jimmy Kong:** Hey, I’m a licensed priest! Let's make this official.

*The shot cuts to Jimmy Kong in priest garb, standing adjacent to Hearty and Calligraphy, who are both wearing veils.*

**Jimmy Kong:** ...you may now kiss the bride.

*Hearty and Calligraphy kiss. All of the contestants in the audience start clapping. R.I.C. has tears in her eyes.*

**R.I.C.:** I'm so proud of them!

*The shot cuts to everybody in the kitchen.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Night Cap, truth or dare?

**Night Cap:** What?

**Jimmy Kong:** Truth or dare?

**Night Cap:** Oh! Right! I forgot we were still doing that. Uh, truth.

*Night Cap grabs a truth slip.*

**Night Cap:** “What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?”. One time, I fell into one of those cotton candy machines.

**Jimmy Kong:** Okay. Calligraphy, truth or dare?

**Calligraphy:** Truth.

*Jimmy Kong grabs a truth from the hat.*

**Jimmy Kong:**“Who is the sweetest person in your life?”.

**Calligraphy:**My wife.

**Jimmy Kong:** Figures. Snake, truth or dare?

**Mister Snake:**Truth.

**Jimmy Kong:** I've ran out of truths, so I'm gonna reuse the last one. “Who is the sweetest person in your life?”.

**Mister Snake:**Micycle’s wife.

**Jimmy Kong:** Alright! And with that… wait a second, I can't tell who won.

**USB:** Yeah, everybody did their stuff.

**Bracelety:** Does this put us at a tie?

**Jimmy Kong:** Uh, yeah. We’ll need a tie breaker.

*Jimmy Kong grabs a laundry basket.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Whoever throws a tennis ball in this laundry basket first wins.

*Mister Snake throws a tennis ball in the basket.*

**Jimmy Kong:**Les Explosifs is safe! Vote for any one of the Manatees in the comments below.

* Bracelety

* Calligraphy

* Domino

* Four 2.0

* Hearty

* Ilobulus

* Poke Egg

* Poorly-Made Card

* R.I.C.

* Seal

* Toxic Mushroom

**Jimmy Kong:** Voting ends the seventeenth! Goodbye and good luck.