Love Me: Chapter 1

LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM

CHAPTER 1 OF THE MANGA

High School student Tetsu Iwaoka (1) is in a grocery store paying for his purchases. He notices a little girl and her mother near a prayer tree set up near the entrance / exit walkway area of the store. The little girl wants to make a prayer wish to post on the tree, but there is already someone who is praying at the table in front of the tree. Tetsu recognizes that someone. It is a student in his homeroom class at school, wearing the female school uniform of a sailor suit (2). She is on her knees praying, then arises and attaches a paper sheet to one of the tree branches. Tetsu thinks to himself, "Why is {he} writing down a wish?" Tetsu further recalls that he sees this student at school, but {he} is always alone. Soon, this student gets up and walks out of the store, carrying their bags of groceries. Tactfully, Tetsu goes over to the prayer tree and looks at the sheet of paper that the student hung upon a tree limb. It says---

**"PLEASE GIVE ME FRIENDS WHO WILL UNDERSTAND ME AND MY SITUATION"**, signed Mo.

Again Tetsu thinks to himself that this person must lead a very lonely life, at school and elsewhere.

Next day at school, during the break time, Tetsu is in the boy's room washing his hands. Looking into the mirror above the sink, he tells himself that talking to this lonely student is going to take some nerve on his part. But it is something that he needs to do, given the prayer request that he had seen yesterday evening, as well as the prompting of his mind and heart. He can't let something like that go by unfulfilled. Just as Tetsu walks out the door to the boy's restroom, another person wearing the sailor suit school uniform walks out the next door down, the door to the unisex restroom. Why, it is the student that he saw in the grocery store ! WOAH ! She turns to Tetsu and utters a noncommittal, "What....???" Tetsu thinks to himself; is {he} just going to show up out of nowhere ? Really ? However, all that Tetsu can manage to spit out is, "Sorry ! It's just that almost no one ever uses that restroom." She merely replies that anyone can use this restroom, it is a unisex restroom after all ! "Yeah....but....", stammers Tetsu, as the student turns to go. Tetsu sees that he had better say something real quick and really interesting, as his fortunate chance of contact with her is almost gone. Tetsu loudly blurts out---

"AH.....Anyway......I HAVE THE PERFECT JOB FOR YOU.....!!!.....but are you interested ?"

The student turns to look at Tetsu, and gives him a look of disbelief and mild disinterest. "A perfect job....for me?" Tetsu pulls out his iphone, and calls up the website of the *Question Cafe*. This is what I am talking about ! The front page of the website has a picture of the interior of the Cafe, and a cute teenage waitress / maid beckoning one to come inside. She silently stares at the iphone for quite some time, then takes the iphone into her own hands. Finally, Tetsu says the only thing that he can think of; that the Cafe is not a disreputable or suspicious place ! The lonely student makes only one comment---

**"THE WAITRESS UNIFORM IS SO, SO CUTE !!!"**

Tetsu thinks to himself that this was easier that he thought it would be.....! The lonely student asks if one would get to wear this uniform if they worked there ? Is it a maid's uniform ? Yeah, to both ! Tetsu says that this is his family's cafe, and that {she} would definitely be hired. Definitely ? Yeah, it is 'right up your alley'! "You really want me......? **I'LL DO IT !!!"**, asserts the student. REALLY ? Really !!!

The next weekend day, in the morning before the Question Cafe opens for business, Tetsu and the lonely student are inside the Cafe. Both are wearing their school uniforms. The owner of the business shouts out---

"YOU'RE SUCH A CUTIE !!! Can I call you Mogu-chan ? To think that Tetsu had a classmate with such potential !"

"Tetsu ?", questions Mogumo. That's me ! My name is Tetsu Iwaoka (1). The owner says that her name is Satoi Iwaoka (3). Just call me Sac-chan. The owner of the cafe is the older sibling of Tetsu. She was born perceived as a male, but has transitioned and is now presenting as a young adult trans woman. Sac-chan ? YOU'RE HIRED, screams Sac-chan ! In a little while, Mogumo steps out of the dressing room, wearing a brand new maid/waitress uniform. It fits her perfectly !

"OOHHHH !!! THAT LOOKS SO GREAT ON YOU !", yells Sac-chan. Mogumo says that it had been their dream to wear a girl's outfit like this ! Sac-chan tells Tetsu that if he knew of a kid like {him}, why didn't you bring {him} in sooner ? Tetsu shyly says that no one at school knows that he works in a *Maid* Cafe. *"Don't diss this place!"*, shouts Sac-chan.

Just then, two other pretty maids walk out of the dressing room already dressed for work. Did we get someone new ? Sac-chan tenderly puts her hands upon Mogumo's shoulders, and mentions that this is Tetsu's classmate. Mogumo introduces themselves as a 'first year' in High School. The girl with very dark blue hair in a ponytail says that they are a 'first year', too. They do an introduction---

"**I** (lit. *Ore* {masculine} am Sou Suzumi (4), but you can call **me** (lit. *Ore*{masculine} 'Suzu' !

The other workmate comes forward with an introduction---

"I'm Mei (5) ! My real name is Akira Tatebayashi, and I'm a 'second year' High Schooler.

Tetsu, standing next to Mogumo, mentions (wrongly) that they are 'just like you' ! Mogumo turns to face Tetsu, and grabs his arm with one hand, and his necktie with the other hand. "Do you mean.....that they are similar to someone like me (Mogumo is Gen X) ? Tetsu only offers that he said that this was the perfect place for you to work ! Really ? Sac-chan announces that the cafe will open soon, so we need to get ready. She tells Mei to explain to Mogumo how to do the job. Mei begins by saying---

"This place is called *Question*. But it is not a 'run-of-the-mill' cafe. All of the servers here were born male or perceived male, and are called *girlyboys (7)*. Sac-chan used to be a 'guy', too. (Mei now becomes rather rambunctious) GIRLYBOY MAIDS SHOULD WORK HARD EVERY SINGLE DAY *TO BE CUTER AND MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN CIS-GIRLS*, WHILE ALL THE TIME BEING BOYS !!! SO WE'RE GONNA PUT YOU RIGHT TO WORK, MOGUMO !!!"

Mogumo's face goes pale and ashen, aghast at what has just been told. "Girlyboy.....?", is all that Mogumo can squeak out. "Does that mean....that you are saying that you want me *to be a **boy** ???*" Well, yeah ! Mei continues saying that she takes it that you're a *{boy}*, right ? "No, I'm not!", replies Mogumo. Sac-chan yells at Tetsu. Tetsu barks out that Mogumo has to be a {guy}. Even at school on the school's registry.....? Mogumo interrupts, asking if only boys can work here ? But then Mogumo is loudly interrupted....

"I'M TOTALLY LATE !!!"

A taller, stronger, and more energetic maid bursts out of the dressing room, all gung-ho for work ! "Are you new ?" The maid approaches Mogumo, and grasping Mogumo under her arms, lifts her up and the both of them spin around repeatedly.

***"YOU'RE SO ADORABLE !!!"***, is loudly shouted for all to hear. A voice from across the room shouts back---

"TEN-CHAN (6)....*{SHE'S} A GIRL !"*

Ten-chan shoots back, "But...their chest is totally flat, just like a boys !' "HUH???" is echoed all around. Ten-chan puts Mogumo down onto a chair, where she recoups from the 'amusement park ride' that she was just on in Ten-chan's arms. Mei rebukes Ten-chan, saying that she understands the feeling of wanting to be a girl (Mei is a trans girl), but we are not even talking about that subject right now. Suzu interjects the thought that it would be a good way for {him} to stand out. Ten-chan remarks that not being a {boy} gave her a shock. Mogumo finally speaks up, saying in a timid but firm voice---

"I never said I wanted to be a girl.....and.....I am *really* not a **boy**!" With a dejected look on her face, Mogumo looks downward at the floor. Mei wants to know what are you saying ? It makes no sense at all ! Are you saying now that since you are dressed in the female work uniform, that you are a complete girl now ? Mogumo speaks, but continues to look at the floor. She becomes dead-pan, kick-butt serious---

"Why are all of you just deciding.....that I have to be a 'girl' if I'm not a 'boy' ? (Mogumo closes her eyes and screams) YOU GUYS SHOULDN'T BE MAKING UP YOUR MINDS ABOUT MY GENDER !!! (Mogumo now jumps out of the chair, knocking it down, and screams at the top of her voice) ***I'M NOT A BOY OR A GIRL !!!!!!!"***

Mogumo, with a look of trepidation and agonized ambivalence on their face, looks up at the faces staring back toward themselves. Tears begin to stream down their pretty cheeks. The faces stare back with looks of confusion, apprehension and disbelief. Mogumo mumbles, "I'm sorry.", turns, and begins to walk out of the room. Seeing Mogumo going with a note of finality, Mei turns toward Tetsu, who is looking through the kitchen window, and apologizes, saying that she said something that she shouldn't have. Tetsu apologizes to no one in particular, confessing that he was getting carried away saying all that he did to Mogumo, without really knowing anything about {him}. Tetsu, in the kitchen, quickly leaves to see what is going on. Sac-chan says to herself that she understands now. Going to a filing cabinet, she pulls out the form that Mogumo filled out to work at the Cafe. In the space for gender, Mogumo merely wrote---**"neither M nor F"**! So this wasn't a simple mistake after all.

Mogumo has left the room and is hiding in the unisex toilet in the hallway. Tetsu finds Mogumo there, inside with the door locked. He bangs on the door and calls out Mogumo's name. Mogumo is hunched down on the floor, resting on bent feet and legs. They seem to be talking to themselves, in between crying hysterically. In their mild feminine voice, filled with angst and mournful disappointment, this broken soul wails in between sobs---

"Even though I knew that nobody would understand me.........I feel like such an idiot.......saying things like 'they are just like me' and 'this place is perfect for me'......**AS IF!**......Give me a break. LIKE I THOUGHT, I DON'T BELONG HERE OR ANYWHERE !!! I don't want to go through this anymore......"

Meanwhile, with Mogumo and Tetsu gone, Sac-chan takes time to talk to the others. She explains that in this world, there are people that exist outside the expectations of being either male or female. Mogumo is not talking about some personal fantasy, what is happening is the reality of life for {him}. Mei wonders if that is different from being perceived as a male, but are a girl on the inside (being a transgender person) ? Probably, remarks Sac-chan. Tetsu, standing next to the door of the toilet, nevertheless, hears the conversation in the other room. He silently thinks to himself that not even my former 'brother' (Sac-chan) can imagine what that might be like. Then isn't that all the more reason why all of us can do something to help Mogumo ?

Tetsu waits patiently in the hallway. Eventually, the crying and wailing slows down and then stops. Mogumo is silent, as they seem to be considering or reviewing something. Finally, Mogumo stands up, and having their back to the door, obliquely stares at the toilet, leaving the door still locked. Very slowly, tenderly, compassionately, and with profound empathy, Tetsu begins by sincerely apologizing to Mogumo. He then relates that he had seen {her} in the grocery store making a wish and praying for it's positive outcome. He goes on to say---

"I thought that if people are going to understand you and befriend you, then you should be brought here. I felt that I understood you, at least at the beginning. But my careless presumption about you doesn't negate your wish, that wish showing how you really, truly feel. I BELIEVE THAT THIS CAN BE A PLACE WHEREIN YOU TRULY BELONG ! You may end up being hurt or disappointed by preconceived notions or wrong presumptions, but at the same time, there have been a lot of people who work here or come here that have a whole slue of problems and troubles, just like you do. I think that everyone here wants to and will try very hard to understand you and your situations, more so than anywhere else ! And I want to be first in line to understand you, too. I also want you to tell me more and more about yourself."

All this time, Mogumo has been standing with her back to the door. She quietly mentions that they are not a "girlyboy" (7), therefore would not be able to ......... Tetsu cuts her off, clarifying about that; he says that he doesn't see a problem with Mogumo staying the way {she} sees {herself}. Tetsu hears the door unlocking, and being pushed open a tiny bit. One eye peaks out through the barely open door, with one hand grasping the door edge. "Really...?" Tetsu sees his chance, and shouting Mogumo's name, grabs her tiny wrist with his hand. He gently pulls on Mogumo to get her to come out. The door swings open, but Mogumo's foot catches on the door's threshold, and she begins to trip and fall forward. The weight of Mogumo's diminutive body slams against Tetsu, knocking him backwards. They both go down and end up on the floor, with Tetsu on his back, absorbing the fall of the both of them, and Mogumo kneeling over him on her hands and knees.

Looking like two lovers in a romantic embrace, Mogumo simply asks if they can stay here, after all, just the way that they are ? "Yeah!" So Mogumo doesn't have to be a 'boy' ? Tetsu says that Mogumo doesn't need to worry about that ! "Right?" Tetsu looks up at Sac-chan, who came into the hallway to see what the noise was about, along with the others. "Of course, you are more than welcome !", declares Sac-chan. Mogumo gets up off of Tetsu, and looks around at everyone. She states with conviction---

"I look forward to working with all of you !"

(End Chapter !)

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(Click on Love Me: Chapter 2 to be taken to the next chapter)

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## Chapter Lookback, Commentary, and Opinion

**(1) Tetsu Iwaoka**

Tetsu is a teen-aged cis-gendered male, born a male, who is a first-year high school student, and works part time in the kitchen at the Question Cafe. After inviting Mogumo to come and work at his family's Cafe part time, he begins to fall in love with this unusual teenage person. Male gender designations will be used for him.

**(2) Mogumo (Ryouunosuke)**

This story's protagonist. Mogumo is a first-year high school student who was perceived as a "male" at birth, but identifies as Gen X / Gender Non-conforming. Their struggles with understanding their correct Gender Identity (whatever that may turn out to be), have lead them to build social and emotional walls around themselves, in order to protect their mental, emotional, and social wellbeing. However, this makes them a very lonely and alone individual, that is, until Tetsu comes along with offers of friendship, understanding, and love.

**(3) Satoi Iwaoka AKA Sac-chan**

Sac-chan is the owner of the Question Cafe. She is the older sibling of Tetsu. She was born perceived as a male, but has always identified as a male to female transgender person. As a young adult, she has fully transitioned to female. Sac-chan, as the owner of the Question Cafe, acts as a guardian and mentor to the other workers, as well as helping the customers. Female gender designations will be used for her.

**(4) Sou Suzumi AKA Suzu**

Suzu works at the Question Cafe. Suzu was born a male, with a male Gender Identity. He began cross-dressing and presenting as a girl when he wanted to impress a male student at school who he was attracted to. That other student would not ever socialize or date another male student, but consented to do so with Suzu, as long as Suzu dresses like, looks like, and presents himself as a girl. Male gender designations will be used for him, even while he is cross-dressed.

**(5) Akira Tatebayashi AKA Mei**

Mei also works at the Question Cafe. Mei was born perceived as a male, but their correct Gender Identity is female. That makes Mei a transgender teenager. Mei has already begun her transition from male to female. That is part of the reason that she works at Question Cafe. Mei takes the responsibilites of work, dressing as a female maid at work, plus that of transitioning to her correct gender, very seriously. Female gender designations will be used for her.

**(6) Inui Tenmaru AKA Ten-chan**

Ten-chan is taller and somewhat husky, more then the others, but works as a maid at Question Cafe. He was born a male, and has a male Gender Identity. However, Ten-chan is a avid, hardcore, competitive cross-cosplayer. They consider working as a female maid the same cross-cosplay as their heartfelt presentations of anime girls at anime conventions. Whereever they are at, Ten-chan is the 'life of the party' ! Male designations will be used for Ten-chan, except when she is cross-cosplaying in female attire, including working at Question Cafe. At those times, female designations will be used, as a tribute to her valid cross-cosplay skills and authentic female presentations.

**(7) girlyboy**

A "girlyboy" is a young male, usually an adolescent or teenager, who looks and/or acts effeminate and affectionate. Typically girlyboys will have accented hips, plumper lips and wear cute, pretty girls' clothes. Sometimes girly boys are gay, but this is not always the case. A girlyboy who is straight is typically far more popular with girls or women. Girlyboys usually have an interest in things that would interest the average female his age - fashion, pop music, romantic/sexual attraction to other boys or girls, etc. Either due to social isolation from the "alpha males" his age or by personal choice, his close circle of friends are usually female. Girlyboys represent a much cuter and more approachable form of the beta male. In contrast to a "transsexual", a girlyboy does not necessarily have a desire to transition or to become a trans woman. Instead, he is naturally feminine in his tastes, appearance and/or behavior. He is often unintentionally mistaken for a girl by those who first meet him, and may be secretly considered attractive and romantically desirable by straight/masculine males his own age who would ordinarily be attracted only to cis-females.

Definition taken from the Urban Dictionary