Let's Play COSMIC ENCOUNTER II

## ★ ADAM'S CHALKBOARD ★

**Let's Play COSMIC ENCOUNTER II** is a video in the Board Game Club series.

"*Is there a board game with card art that does not look like Laurie Blake?*"
―Tom
## Notable moments

* The first rule of Board Game Club is "there's no such thing as diminishing returns".
* Will *Laurie and I continue our stranglehold over the galaxy*?
* This is a reunion of our last Cosmic game.
* This is Sullivan's 2nd and 3rd favourite game, because he can neither count nor read.
* Jon's straight off the gate attacking Sullivan. Poor brave Kisstopia. Although Sullivan does appear to be naming his planets after Chelsea players this time. That allows us to do the Match of the Day theme.
* Men who don't know anything about football, making football references.
* Scary Tom is scary: "Did you say.... massacre?"
* Sullivan: "We could kick him to death with football boots on, that would be painful."
* Sullivan's playing Love - of course he is. He's using love as a weapon. He manages to take Jon's only good card. The alliance is reconsidering.
* Adam: "We have hitched our wagon to a dying star." Jon's desperately trying to negotiate.
* Adam on Jon: "We've been playing for 10 minutes and steam is already coming out of his ears!"
* Laurie: "Does Jon know when to hold them and when to fold them? And when to run?"
* Jon's masterfully bullshit bluff gets a proper sarcastic round of applause. We're not sure he completely grasped his power there.
* Jon: "I cannot stress to you how bad a move that was. You thought it was bad, it's so much worse."
* Adam: "I'm opening up alliances to all - even this fucking joker over here (indicating Jon)."
* Tom and Sullivan continue their long tradition of slightly intimidating bromance. Tom: "In an act of perfect love, my friend..."
* Adam is the Loser - the nice guy who can finish first. "(Holding the chalkboard) Frankly, at this point, what else could I fucking be?" He tries to upset the fight result, Laurie zaps it, Sullivan celebrates obnoxiously. Prematurely, as it happens.
* Tom is now very suspiciously allying with Adam.
* Sullivan is the Sycophant - choosing the winner of any battle. He's flattering Laurie beautifully - Laurie agrees it's entirely deserved and well overdue on Board Game Club.
* Sullivan: "Laurie, you know what... you're looking great today. You're very talented... your tattoos are very beautiful and tasteful."
* Blair is Love. Her card shows a cat holding a toad, it's almost too perfect. "I have the power of joy!"
* Jon is exploiting Blair's powers beautifully. Adam: "Yours is such a bleak world. Cashing in on the love of your friends in order to bankroll your increasingly shit bets!"
* Laurie is zapping away. We're dancing again, is the thing. Tom: "When have we *ever* got in the way of your fun on Board Game Club?" Let us count the ways...
* Scary Tom is scary - and in Blair's head. "We're going to get Clive Barker up in here, my friend." Turns out, Tom is the Masochist. He's going to win if he loses all his ships. Is this one perfect for Tom even more than the Tick Tock was last time?
* Sullivan is flattering Jon now. "You have a lovely haircut... you have as many ears as an elephant... as many dicks as a woodlouse!" Everyone wants to move on from that, but Jon objects: "Oh, I'm not allowed to talk about my penis am I? This channel used to be about something!" Sullivan claims woodlice have two penises. Jon's album is now retitled to *Two Woodlouse Dicks, One Heart*. Thanks, James! That one takes us back to *Let's Play DON'T MESS WITH CTHULHU*.
* Blair and Jon exchange a sweaty handshake.
* Sullivan's using wild love on Laurie now. Laurie takes his love. Adam: "That's what Laurie does! He reaches into your chest and wraps his hands around the love and he pulls it out!"
* Jon's on a hot streak that can't possibly end. This game is swinging wildly and could be over before Laurie even gets a turn.
* Tom to Jon: "If you were gambling on us being friends, you're going to lose". Laurie is allying himself with a kamikaze pilot. Sullivan is offering flattery as reward for alliance.
* Tom's really starting to look like he's going to win this thing either way.
* Laurie is the Hate. Of course he is. Adam's lost it.
* Laurie: "I am the Hate and I have the power of rage." Jon: "Laurie, you've just written that with crayon in your own handwriting!"
* Laurie: "I don't know where this gaggle of cretins get off, saying that I resemble the Hate in any way, shape or form. I am a kind, loving, caring person who has many emotions outside of boiling hot rage. I really like cats. I really like flowers. I really enjoy the music of Robbie Williams. I am nothing like the Hate."
* Tom's delighted with the chance to lose all his ships.
* Planet Blair is lame, so we're leaving. We'd rather be dead than choose love now.
* Adam and Tom perk up at the Jersey reference. We find it hard to believe that people from Jersey wouldn't be down to earth.
* Laurie plays a card which genuinely makes everyone (including me) gasp.
* We're not going to kink shame the masochists. Adam to Tom: "Would never yuck your yum. Your boundaries are incredibly well-defined and understood by all."
* Adam and Sullivan are trapped in a loop. Adam and Jon have gone back to 2015 and are taking the Beta Males show back to the Fringe.
* Adam could be facing his ultimate foe - a joint victory. By other people.
* Tom pointing to Adam: "We've had a loser problem for coming on a year now." Ouch. Adam: "Sadism or masochism! Just pick a lane, Tom!"
* Jon isn't any better at his bluffing mechanic. And we've lost it. Tom's starting to think that Jon may be the real masochist.
* Adam's soliciting praise. Sullivan: "You're the best guy in the whole world. You know all the people you've ever met? Well they're nothing comparatively to you! Look at that winning hair! Those great eyes! Those teeth that go on for days!" Adam: "In what fucking horse universe is that flattery? I mean, yes, I have big teeth and I could probably eat an apple through a tennis racket, but that's for me to say! Give me a proper compliment!"
* Adam does hate joint winning - but he hates the Chalkboard more than anything. "The number of principles I'm willing to compromise to advance myself on this track...." But the cast says no and ensures he acts against his best interests.
* Sullivan: "I think that after this episode goes out, Jon Gracey will suddenly find that casinos across the world will be pawing at him to come along to their casinos... because Jon's understanding of the most basic maths and bluffing is unbelievable. I've never seen someone in my whole life get it wrong every, every single time. It's incredible."
* Blair's giddy with victory, Adam's blaming Jon.

## Scores

* Laurie 2
* Tom 2
* Sullivan 3
* Adam 4
* Jon 4
* Blair 5

## Talking Heads

Talking heads are available this episode. Timestamps:

* 4:35 Sullivan
* 23:50 Laurie
* 38:18 Jon
* 53:28 Laurie
* 1:04:58 Adam
* 1:07:03 Tom
* 1:12:25 Adam
* 1:15:24 Sullivan

## Trivia

* Game introduction and rules are presented by Sullivan.
* We're replaying Cosmic Encounter to celebrate the previous version video reaching 100k views. And, let's face it, because it's Adam's favourite.
* Chalkboard is updated with a loss.
* An extended version of this episode is available on the No Rolls Barred Patreon.

1. ↑ Timestamps provided by Peter on the Patreon Discord