David Dickinson

**David Dickinson** A.K.A. Lil Anteek, is an antique dealer/drug dealer and current rapper currently signed to Harry Hill's record label 'Harry's Poppa'. He has released many platinum-certified mixtapes such as 'I Got Chinah Pl8s' and 'Yous Bitches Wet Pussy Rub The Tan Off My Cock'. Controversy has surrounded the English rapper as he was caught masturbating in a public restroom, he had to pay many fines and recieve punishments such as cleaning his mum's dusty fanny and breaking his antique china plates in front of thousands of peoples.

## Childhood and Adolescence

David Dickinson was born in Stockport, some town full of posh snobby cunts in the north of England. He attended Stockport Academy and was thrown out for ejaculating on his music teacher's ham and cheese panini, he has since then been a heroin addict, which he elaborated on I'm A Cunt! Get Me A Pack Of Viagra Right Now!, also injected steroids into his penis to anally penetrate a rock while popping a full pack of Viagra.

David Dickinson at 19, then went on to become a barber in his local Tescos (which was really unusual). Where he discovered his famous disco-hairstyle which he has today.

When he turned 21, he relocated to a small cave on the tiny island of Boreray in St. Kilda, Scotland. Where he hunted haggis and anally penetrated the locals, which forced them to fuck off to a smaller island, Stac Lee.

David was eventually caught by the Scottish coast guards, and brought back home to Stockport. He was then castrated and his testicles thrown into a chimpanzee's enclosure in Edinburgh Zoo.

## Getting into antiques

David got into antiques after having an affair with Harry Hill, in which Harry sucked him off for a jumbo pack of quavers, although it sounded crazy but it just popped up in his sick mind to start dealing shit.

First David got his own show, David Dickinson's Real Drugs Straight Off Stockport Rd, his show is all about fucking hoes and stuffing dildos up an old lady's arse while dealing antiques.

## Acquiring the 'look'

David Dickinson's dapper look is inspired by the old London spivs, petty criminals during wartime. Well, word has it that Dickinson was beat up and robbed by spivs in the 1960s, being tremendously traumatized he forced himself to look like a spiv for the rest of his life.

## Discography

* David’s Crib (2012)
* Bobby Killaz (2013)
* Listen at Your own Risk (2015
* Nick Knowles Knows Nothing (DIY) (2018)
* The Tanning Machine (2019)

## Controversy

David Dickinson has been known for masturbating in public, his first offense was in 1985 when he fapped in front of a crowd at Live Aid, while under the influence of Viagra. When David Dickinson was confronted by Bob Geldof, he grabbed a Leprechaun figurine and shoved it up his anus, resulting Bob having a perforated rectum. Bob filed many allegations against Mr. Dickinson, but were dropped after insufficient evidence.

### John Cooper Clarke

David Dickinson is also known for being murderous and short-tempered, as in 2010, David stormed into the ITV studios when John Cooper Clarke, the famous poet was getting ready for his new talent show. David then proceeded to shoot five rounds into the poet‘s cock and balls. David then attempted to flee the studio but was quickly caught by a lone security guard, who had knocked out the pensioner with a fire extinguisher.

The incident was believed to be in retaliation of being castrated by Edinburgh Zoo employees, but strangely David at the time was rumoured to have taken steroids for his mahogany-like skin.

## The Suits

David is also known for his snazzy suits. David is almost never seen in casual clothes, the pompous cunt!