Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End (GAM034)

### Starring:

Brian Bosworth, Ray Wise, David A.R. White, Eric Roberts, Steve "Sting" Borden, Andrea Logan White

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Eli Bosnick

### Special Guest

Thomas Smith

***Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End*** is the epic first act of a story that might eventually happen in a different movie, but we won't be talking about that today. No, today we'll be talking about a ninety minute character intro for Brian Bosworth and David A. R. White, and the town that ain't big enough for the both of them.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because we've run out of new venereal disease to collect.

### **How Bad Was It?**

So, *this* movie was the kind of terrible—because this is what I feel like people picture when I say I review Christian movies—'cause every week we find a new movie that is a different level of terrible. So, if you were hoping for a movie that's about the Christian rapture, but also tells soldiers with PTSD that the only way for them to feel better is Jesus, then you're going to *love* this movie.

### **Notes**

* Check out Thomas on *Thomas and the Bible*, *Opening Arguments*, *Serious Inquiries Only*, and *Philosophers in Space*.
* The first of the *Revelation Road* series, followed by *Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire* and *Revelation Road 3: The Black Rider*.

### **Jokes**

* [Thomas: Are you guys okay? Because…] [Noah: Yeah, we're good.] [Thomas: Are you sure? Because when I watched this movie—when I finally watched one of these pieces of shit—it occurred to me that my enjoying GAM and laughing every time (just uproariously laughing at it), it's like the fans who are all into Amy Winehouse, and then she's dead. You know? When I finally watched one of these movies, I thought "Do these people need help?" Do you need our help? So I just want to make sure, are you okay?] [Eli: Me? No, I'm gonna die real soon, and in a *weird* way too. People are… they're not gonna be able to do the GoFundMe right because of the way I died. They're gonna be like "I mean, it was just *full* of children—just *full* of children. We think he was trying to make a ball pit? We're not doing a fundraiser, we're not talking about it, we have new guests on GAM every week… we're just letting it go.] [Noah: It's why we're trying to milk as much out of him as we can now.] (3:42)
* [Thomas: At fight camp, they're using my favourite style of fighting, which is: okay *you're* winning now, so then you "punch punch punch", okay now I'll stop punching, okay now *you* get to win, and then punch punch punch. It's like "Wow, it's a really close fight—it could go either way. One minute one guy's doing a bunch of punching and then the other guy just *stops*."] [Eli: These people took the advanced stage combat class, and the people in *Loving the Bad Man* took the *basic* stage combat class.] [Heath: No, this was with Carl Weathers. It was for real.] (58:04)

### **Interstitials**

* *Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice* Patreon Bonus Episode (7:11)
* No Swearing Biker Gang(1:16:07)
* Outtakes - Warning Thomas (1:51:38) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* And then the Apocalypse/Rapture Happens
* Angry Yelling at God
* Looks Like…
* Atheist Converts to Christianity
* Bible Reading Montage
* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* Dollar in the Swear Jar
* Make Me a Sammich!
* Neglectful/Godless/Abusive Parent
* Secret Jesus
* SEXISM!
* The Eli Bosnick Story
* We're Gonna Live Forever

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: Eric Roberts fired his agent and went to the tannery for some oil
* Noah: The granddaughter got fucked *so* hard.
* Eli: Ray Wise never asked for direction, and ended up in Muslim Heaven by accident.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb