My Favorite Comment Sections

"*Let's force ourselves to have some fun as we share our favorite comment sections!*"
―Erik
My Favorite Comment Sections is the 115th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on May 31, 2020.

## Summary

Erik admits that he's not excited for the next month because he knows it's going to be just as uneventful as the previous month due to COVID-19. He decides to get his mind off of it by looking at some of his favorite comment sections. He starts by watching a recipe video for Peel-a-Pound Soup and reads all of the comments talking about the devastating farts it caused. Then he looks back on the 4/20 that could have been during April of 2020 and plays the sponsored ad for Babbel.

Erik decides to remember the good ideas, thanks man, so he goes back to a classic comment section of a man getting charged by a gorilla. The man doesn't budge, and all of the comments are about how massive his balls are. Erik tells a short story about what became of the balls.

Next, Erik moves on to the "This is Bob" trend that took place a few years previously. He collects several Bobs and then goes to a PragerU video that pretends racism is made up. He puts a Bob there and then goes to his least favorite comment section, a Yahoo Answers post full of rednecks that are frightened of gay people and posts some Bobs there as well.

Erik decides that ultimately, his favorite comment section is wherever Holiday Fartcruise posts shirtless old men. He tries to log in as Holiday Fartcruise, but the account is locked until he can provide ID. Erik decides that Holiday Farcruise is not truly dead, because he lives on through all of Erik's students posting shirtless old men and also because Erik is going to fake a driver's license for it.

## Comments

*Thanks this stuff is great for my fart fetish onlyfans page. I used to be able to upload maybe one or two good rips a day but after eating a whole pot of this stuff I already have a year's worth of footage and multiple offers to fly me to a hotel in Dubai. I told em all no worries, if I arch my back just right I can levitate across the ocean to them. Speaking of, if James Cameron ever needs footage of the Mariana Trench for his new Avatar movie all he's gotta do is fill me up with this soup and drop me in the water. My jet turbine asshole will propel me to the bottom in less than a minute and I'll grab some nice shots before the water pressure crushes me flat which is awesome because that's my OTHER fetish. Alright peace out I'm gonna go superglue my ass cheeks together and see how much soup it takes to inflate my body like that little bitch from Willy Wonka.*
- Erik

*It was our third night in the Congo. Tree canopies hid a million screaming voices overhead as humidity and sweat soaked our fatigues. We cut our way through the jungle in hopes that it was not too late; That the villager we'd spoken to earlier was telling the truth. Unfortunately for us, he was.**We heard the thing before we saw it. The entire jungle went quiet, leaving only the ominous sound of something enormous dragging across dirt. My men and I had seen the worst of it in Afghanistan. We were chosen for this mission because of our fearless constitution. But the funny thing about fear is it never really goes away. It just waits, and then punishes you for all the time you spent ignoring it. We were told exactly what to expect, but I stillremember the screaming when we saw it with our own eyes.**What slithered into the clearing before us had once been known as Adrien Deschryver, but no longer. The man had let his balls become so large that they absorbed him, growing ever bigger in the process and gaining access to all of Adrien's thoughts and memories. Pentagon intel suggested that this giant sentient ballsack understood the need for sustenance, and therefore had become the apex predator of the Congo. It was a truly impressive pair of balls, and we were given the impossible task of taking it down.**Our tranq rounds bounced off its hairy, wrinkled skin as it roared from some unseen mouth. Sergeant Murphy was the first to fire his pistol, and for that received the trunk of a thirty foot limba tree to the torso, popping his limbs off like a ken doll. And then it was chaos. That man's balls picked us off one by one, screaming its territorial warning. All of the fear and dread that I'd repressed over twenty years flooded back into my nervous system, freezing me. I saw into the eye of god himself as those balls towered over me. It used one stray pube to stroke my cheek, no
longer perceiving me as a threat. Then it rolled off into the jungle, squishing between trees at a hundred clicks an hour.**I collected my men's dog tags and trudged back alone. The next day, I made some peel a pound soup and shit my
pants.*
- Erik

*☻/ This is bob. He wants to know why Dennis Prager always looks like he's got a body hidden
/▌somewhere in the room and he's waiting for you to smell it
/\*
- Erik

*Nope. I can't stand homosexuals. I think it's disgusting that they can get married. It makes a mockery of everything that is special about marriage. As far as I'm concerned, if someone wants to be a homo, they should keep it behind closed doors. Stop flaunting it. And we certainly shouldn't be changing laws to suit them. It's honestly sickening.*
- Anonymous

*☻/ This is bob! He's got his hand up because he's waiting for you to tag him in to help you
/▌ fuck your sister. Go dig me some coal you dumb redneck.
/\*
- TennesseeJack69

*No, marriage is only for a man and a woman.*
- Mr.DMZ

*☻/ This is bob! Copy and paste him so he can take over yahoo answers and when he gains
/▌ his crown he's gonna put people like you against the wall
/\*
- TennesseeJack69

*It shouldn't be legal. It's wrong. What's next? Marriage between adults and children? Marriage between humans and animals? It's a slippery slope.*
- Anonymous

*☻/ This is bob! Bob wants to know how many catholic priests it took to make you so scared
/▌ of gay stuff
/\*
- TennesseeJack69

## Context

1. ↑ Remembering me the good ideas is a reference to a comment that Erik read in Dating Advice five years previously.

## Video

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