Let's Play FIASCO (Part 1)

### Characters

Badge Holster, Franklin Penitentiary, Janice Jonson-Johnson Johnson-Jonson, Jensen Johnson-Jonson Jonson-Johnson, Walter Wheresmyson

### Series

Board Game Club, Fiasco

**Let's Play FIASCO (Part 1)** is a video in the Board Game Club series.

"*You don't agree to something you don't intend to do. We are honest criminals, Jensen - and we always tell the truth.*"
―Tom
## Notable moments

* The first rule of Board Game Club is "anything that can go wrong, will go wrong".
* *Nothing can go wrong - except it can, and it will*.
* This was supposed to be a Christmas treat, but it was delayed by Adam's COVID, among other things.
* Oh boy oh boy, this is really quite wonderful - actors and actor-adjacents throwing themselves wholesale into role play, with a healthy sprinkling of absolute Rosie-based insanity and our usual NRB humour. It's a real BGC highlight - stand by with the pause button to allow for laughter.
* Laurie is Jensen Johnson-Jonson Jonson-Johnson, married to Janice (after marrying and divorcing a couple of times), a petty criminal. He wants a Ducati 1098 sports motorcycle.
* Rosie is Janice Jonson-Johnson Johnson-Jonson, married to Jensen currently, a police officer. She wants commitment. She's pregnant with triplets.
* Adam is Badge Holster, retired police officer, Janice's former mentor. He has 100 feral cats in his house.
* Sullivan is Walter Wheresmyson, friend of Badge's, who works for animal control. He's married to Franklin.
* Tom is Franklin Penitentiary, former best friend of Badge's. Walter wants Franklin to sleep with his best friend. Franklin knows Jensen from prison.
* So we're all clear? OK, here we go then.
* Tom goes for a scene set up by the cast, first. We're going for a flashback of his meeting with Adam, playing cops and robbers as kids.
* Tom is quite spectacularly good at this - he's such a great GM, it feeds into his RPG play as well. It also helps that Adam and Tom have been such close friends for so long - they are completely free with one another and able to throw themselves into the scenes.
* Tom: "Promise Hill is a hill built on rules, Holster". Here's the start of Tom's character - crime, but with rules. And Badge's - an unexpectedly dirty cop.
* Laurie's scene - he's missed the triplets' scan because he was staking out the motorbike for Franklin. The first divorce was because she found out he was a thief.
* Rosie's a very scary wronged wife. Their relationship is wonderful. "Want a glass of water? You can't have one!" Laurie needed the money because there are *so many* babies.
* The Ducati is a completely impractical vehicle for a growing family. Rosie's getting a company car anyway. Yes, ok, it's a police car. The triplets will be fine.
* Rosie: "You've been out polishing that bitch! I wanted you to polish this [rubs pregnant belly]. I had to polish it myself!"
* Rosie's scene is a flashback to her early days on the force with Badge. She seems to be at work on her wedding day. She has learned important information about things that can kill - bullets and jellyfish. Badge is going to walk her down the aisle, then he's going to quit the force and let her take over the PHPD. She's not going to choose between her man and her job.
* The thing that first tips us over the edge turns out to be the Jonson-Johnson Johnson-Jonson nonsense.
* Adam's scene is Rosie again - now worried about her relationship. Rosie does good cat impressions.
* Adam: "You have 50 *feral* cats. And another *50* feral cats. It's all about balance, you see."
* Rosie's found a big bag of money - maybe the proceeds of crime, maybe Jensen saving for an unnecessarily large pram.
* Rosie: "I was thinking you could maybe go to Mr. Fluffybottom's and ask him if he's employed Jensen Johnson-Jonson." Badge can't face going back to that world, but he will if Janice insists.
* Sullivan's scene is about persuading Tom to have sex with Adam. For some reason. It does seem related to the cats in some way - possibly as a way to distract Badge so Walter can get rid of them to prevent future attacks on humans.
* Franklin still uses a cane after being injured when Badge shot him with the imaginary gun in childhood.
* Walter's favourite drink is orange juice, which Franklin makes in a shaker to ensure even distribution of pulp.
* Tom and Sullivan would make an excellent middle aged couple in New England, I have to say - like minor characters from a mid-season Sopranos episode. They have never kissed though - Franklin wants his first kiss to be with Badge, so that he doesn't disappoint Walter. The sex is fine, they just don't do kissing.
* Tom's second scene is with Laurie, back to ask a favour - he needs to miss the job, for scan and Scotland.
* Scary Tom is scary - he makes a superb honourable crime boss.
* To ensure nobody has to lie, the job will get moved up. We start to learn about the Ducati - there's another parked in front of City Hall.
* Laurie: "The mountain of shit coming my way, Franklin - the mountain of shit..." Laurie once again showing how he can take the most errant nonsense and pull some genuine emotion out of it. (See City British Wrestling on partsFUNknown for more evidence - and also because it's really *really* good.) The cast are gripped.
* Laurie's second scene is the end of his first marriage with Janice. We get outraged Laurie and proper-acting Rosie. It's marvellous, and because it's NRB, it's sprinkled with gems - Laurie: "We're the Ducati bandits!", Rosie: "I told you that was a stupid fucking name!". That's enough to set Adam, Sullivan and Tom off.
* And Rosie escalates again - it's gasp-inducing. There is a pause as the cast just laugh in humour (Rosie, Sullivan and Tom) or horror (Adam).
* Rosie's second is Janice's confrontation with Franklin. And again - Rosie escalates in a way that takes the casts' breath away. Her judgement and timing in these scenes is astonishing. And we still get the nonsense that makes us breathless with laughter.
* For Adam's second, we finally get the Badge-Franklin meeting.
* Tom: "I remember everything."
* The utter nonsense sprinkled throughout the tension is just glorious.
* Sullivan is the only wholesome character and *he's* about to put cats in a van and drive them off a cliff. Adam: "Could you fuck this guy so I can steal his cats?"
* The cats have started eating the local animals. Badge has decided to let the cats go.
* Adam: "Do you know what it is about feral cats? They challenge you. They keep you fast. They keep you lean. And if you love them - they might love you back. Or they eat a horse - they're really difficult beasts."
* There's another twist with the motorbike. And another.
* Walter makes his pitch for the Franklin sex. And we've gone.
* Sullivan: "One time I did drink from a glass that he'd been drinking from, that's almost kissing."
* Our tilts are very apt.
* Absolutely cannot wait for the next part - this is glorious.

## Trivia

* Game introduction and rules are presented by Laurie.
* It's the first Board Game Club tabletop role-playing game.
* No chalkboard for this one - while it is a BGC, it is an RPG and so does not fit the pattern.
* An extended single version of this episode (including all the set up for this one) and the next, is available on the No Rolls Barred Patreon.
* No talking heads this episode, the whole thing is character driven.