Crave

Control.

The plight of holding back- then becoming voracious to the obligation. The desire infuriating, making one's blood boil, but to restrain. Being eager to acheive the impulse, the impulse to exterminate.

Death.

A loss, on occasion great. The unwilling force, but sometimes droven upon, sometimes sanguinary. Sometimes, one's diversion.

Those who posses the darkest minds, the most deranged thoughts, or souls, comprehend. Those who are wicked, and sinful. Those who believe in no good. Those who are of dark orientation.

Those who **Crave**.

My capabilities are wretched. I don't know my own strength- and sometimes, *I can't control it*. My core erupts, and there's no stopping it. I can't deny that this- this *demon* takes over me. I can't deny the fact that *I can't stop **killing**.*

Tonight was significantly eerie, though the ominous mist cools my paws, as I step on the fog-coated terrain, it wreaths around my limbs, just skimming my unberbelly. The metallic scent of blood filling my nostrils, making it the only aroma I could smell. I wasn't sickened by it, merely pleased... No- how wicked of me. No I am not pleased. I'm upset. No, I am afraid. Angered with myself. It was my doing. My fault that a pup lays immobilized, drenched in its own blood. My fault that an innocent being- is dead.

Stare. That's all I could do. Wait. Wait until boredom takes over, causing me to finally leave, or hunger makes me ravenous.

Just wait.

There I stood. All alone. Just thoughtfully gazing into the emptiness below me, a valley, rid of all life. A valley, in which was my home. Though I have to say I like it here. It's peaceful, quiet.

I began to gingerly slide down the snow-covered peak I was idly standing on. All I could hear was the crumbling snow beneath my paws, drifting down the summit, followed by me. All I could hear was the vacancy of this valley after I reached the bottom. Isolation.

Trek. Trek to a new place, full of life with a high population, to associate, my mind echoes, my conscious. No. You can't. You'll ruin it all with your imperfect charms, your impulse to kill. Stay where you are. Stay where you can reach no one. Stay where you are out of mind, where no one cares about you.

I wound up near a carcass, from my oblivious wandering. It's a habit. I gnawed on the bones, stripped of meat. Stripped of anything I could feast on. My stomach rumbled.

My hunger consumed me. My eyes glazed, clouded with hatred and rancor as the desire to eat overwhelmed me.

Fight it. You're not going to die. You're not completely starving. You don't need to kill.

I began to breathe heavily, battling the urge. Battling for maybe another chance.

I screwed my eyes shut, baring my vermilion-stained teeth, the **craving** to assassinate, slaughter, gradually ceasing.

Easy- you may be thinking. No. The universe spared me this one, no one was here to suffer my outrage. No living scent to follow. No sounds to listen to.

Nothing.

Nothing for miles. I'm trapped in my own void, a void no one wants to be trapped in. A void you are desperate to escape.

Me? Yes. I try to escape. But- I'm always driven back to this lonely hell. I'm always neglected, tossed away.

Me? Yes. Maybe, just maybe, this is my time.

But no one can know for sure, not even my future self. Who knows, it might be for nothing, like this valley. This empty valley in which I starve upon.

This valley that will be left behind.

I trekked, yes. I trekked with the snow collecting atop my pelt. I trekked with the cold nagging at my ears. But most of all, I trekked for a new beginning.

A new beginning with little to no pain- hopefully...

By now I have officially left the valley, not daring to look back, look back at the miserable landscape, which holds no life. And by now, I am lost within a forest, exploding with scents.

One scent stood out.

Blood.

It was a blur, me becoming angered, hostile. Unbelievably aggressive. All the hatred, all the abandonment building up.

A wounded animal. A perfect target.

I hastily followed that scent, the metallic ichor driving me over the edge as I drew near, huffing.

And just like that. I'm a disappointment- No, much worse, I'm an unlawful, malevolent disappointment. A killer that can't control its **cravings**.

The creature came into view, causing my limbs to quicken their pace, causing my hunger to heighten.

With a ferocious snarl, I leapt onto my unlucky victim, my teeth tearing at the already shredded flesh. My ears filled with the sounds of anguish, the sounds of an animal in pain.

The sounds of my lullaby.

Like a rag-doll. Like a chew-toy, I jerked my head- back and forth. Back and forth.

Back- and forth

Momentarily I was knocked off my paws, thoughts rushing through my mind as I was barreled over.

They're gonna pay. Pay their life. They're going to regret stopping me.

"You can't just do that to a poor animal!"

No. They're right.

"You think you can just come here a end innocent creature's lives?"

Yes.

I stared upwards, my lip pulling back into a snarl. I heaved myself up, propelling my challenger- no... Just the wolf that was brave enough to face me. The wolf who is now sprinting away.

The chase.

Oh the chase.

The most exhilarating part. But also the part where I can never stop tormenting my victim.

I took off after the wolf, anger coursing through my veins.

Anger, not to the wolf, who is currently running for their life, but to myself. I am angry at myself.

I veered to the right, purposefully lunging into a bramble thicket. The pain inflicted on myself, the sensation of needles and thorns tearing at my pelt, soothing my *hunger*, my **cravings**.

Injuring myself.

Who knew? Injuring myself assists the termination of my desires.

Another day done, another lesson learned-

Maybe.

Just maybe, I'm too demonic to tell.

And there I was. Waiting. Hovering over the animal I attacked, too crippled to move.

And I watched, watched as it slowly became limp. Watched as it suffered.

Waiting.

Thinking.

Thinking about that wolf who encountered me. Thinking about this animal's savior- sort of. Thinking about... maybe finding that wolf. Maybe.

By now the creature was dead, its glossed eyes staring straight at me. I held the lifeless gaze for a moment. Just a moment.

This was horrible of me. Terrible. I killed yet another innocent being.

But the thing is, I have no regrets. No regrets whatsoever.

I ascended from the rather cold terrain, outstretching my limbs as they became cramped from the time I was curled up, which today, was fairly long.

I flicked my ear, despair and sorrow building up into a lump in my throat.

Sadness.

An emotion I have yet to experience... No- I am experiencing it now.

*What* drove me into sadness?

***Who*** drove me into sadness?

That wolf. That wolf who could be long gone by now. That wolf who I wanted to find, maybe apologize to. Maybe become friends- or close companions.

That wolf who I may never find again- but will try. I'm desperate, desperate for a chance. But maybe that chance won't be perfect, but it's a risk I am willing to take... because my dreadful life is already plagued with odious grim.

WIP