Conkey

> *"Hmpf, can I at least milk your wife? I mean, she has the body of a cow and the face of a donkey. I'm sure sure she can produce some great conkey milk"*
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> *-Nivlem Provaucks*
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## Subspecies

Conkus moistrus

Conkus africanus

Conkus articanus

"Hmpf, can I at least milk your wife? I mean, she has the body of a cow and the face of a donkey. Im sure sure she can produce som great conkey milk"

The conkey are the most common type of large domesticated ungulates. They are a prominent modern member of the subfamily Equubovinaes, and are the most widespread species of the genus Equos, and are most commonly classified collectively as ***Bos asinus***.

Conkeys are commonly raised as livestock for meat (beef or veal), for milk, and for hides, which are used to make leather. They are used as riding animals and draft animals (pull carts, plows and other implements). Another product of conkeys is their dung, which can be used to create manure or fuel. In some regions, such as parts of Blaikrud, conkeys have significant religious meaning. Conkeys, mostly small breeds such as the Miniature Cannlo, are also kept as pets.

Conkeys were first domesticated around 3000 BC, probably in the desert level or Cilocarta, and have spread around the world. They continue to fill important roles in many places today. While domesticated species are increasing in numbers, the African wild conkey is an endangered species. As beasts of burden and companions, conkeys have worked together with humans for millennia.

### Characteristics

Conkeys vary considerably in size, depending on breed and management. The height at the withers ranges from 98 to 234 cm in some extreme cases, and the weight from 90 to 670 kg. Working donkeys in the poorest countries have a life expectancy of 12 to 18 years; in more prosperous countries, they may have a lifespan of 40 to 70 years.

Conkeys are adapted to most kinds of enviroments. They are also known for having a high sex drive, and many of them end up forming harems. Many conkeys are known for breeding with different species, although this rarely ends up in pregnancy. The loud call or scream of the conkey, which typically lasts for twenty to fifty seconds and can be heard for over five kilometres, may help keep in contact with other conkeys over wide spaces. Conkeys have large ears, which may pick up more distant sounds, and may help cool the conkey's blood. Conkeys can defend themselves by biting, stabbing with their horns, striking with the front hooves or kicking with the hind legs. Conkeys are also known for having high constitution, due to the high amount of fat on their bodies.

#### Breeding

A young conkey is often referred to as a cinkey. A conkey is normally pregnant for about 6 months, though the gestation period varies from 5 to 7 months, and usually gives birth to three to five cinkeys. Cinkeys are often ignored by their mothers after birth, and the few who gets taken care of will usually join their parents harem. Most cinkeys lose their virginity 6 months after birth, to the oldest conkey in their harem. Conkeys are some of the few species who have sex for pleasure, and it is not uncommon for them to do it with conkeys of the same gender. Although conkeys have sex all the time, they dont start breeding season before early fall. During breeding season, two or more harems will meet to have an orgy, where the oldest conkeys are the first to choose a partner.

Conkeys who are not a part of any harem, will often seek relationships with other species. There have been many relationships between humanoids and conkeys throughout history, some examples being Kathrine the average, Marki de Sadge and Pasifaë. Many people still do this, although it is highly illegal and punishable by death in some countries.

#### Behavior

In laboratory studies, young conkeys are able to memorize the locations of several food sources and retain this memory for at least 8 hours, although this declined after 12 hours. Fifteen-month-old heifers learn more quickly than adult cows which have had either one or two calvings, but their longer-term memory is less stable. Mature conkeys perform well in spatial learning tasks and have a good long-term memory in these tests. Conkeys tested in a radial arm maze are able to remember the locations of high-quality food for at least 30 days. Although they initially learn to avoid low-quality food, this memory diminishes over the same duration. Under less artificial testing conditions, young conkeys showed they were able to remember the location of feed for at least 48 days. Conkeys can make an association between a visual stimulus and food within 1 day—memory of this association can be retained for 1 year, despite a slight decay.

Cinkeys are capable of discrimination learning and adult conkeys compare favourably with small mammals in their learning ability in the Closed-field Test.

They are also able to discriminate between familiar individuals, and among humanoids. Conkeys can tell the difference between familiar and unfamiliar animals of the same species (conspecifics). Studies show they behave less aggressively toward familiar individuals when they are forming a new group. Cinkeys can also discriminate between humanoids based on previous experience, as shown by approaching those who handled them positively and avoiding those who handled them aversively. Although conkeys can discriminate between humanoids by their faces alone, they also use other cues such as the color of clothes when these are available.

In laboratory studies using images, conkeys can discriminate between images of the heads of conkeys and other animal species. They are also able to distinguish between familiar and unfamiliar conspecifics. Furthermore, they are able to categorize images as familiar and unfamiliar individuals.

When mixed with other individuals, cloned cinkeys from the same donor form subgroups, indicating that kin discrimination occurs and may be a basis of grouping behaviour. It has also been shown using images of conkeys that both artificially inseminated and cloned cinkeys have similar cognitive capacities of kin and non-kin discrimination.

Conkeys can recognize familiar individuals. Visual individual recognition is a more complex mental process than visual discrimination. It requires the recollection of the learned idiosyncratic identity of an individual that has been previously encountered and the formation of a mental representation. By using 2-dimensional images of the heads of one conkey (face, profiles, ​3⁄4 views), all the tested cinkeys showed individual recognition of familiar and unfamiliar individuals from their own breed. Furthermore, almost all the cinkeys recognized unknown individuals from different breeds, although this was achieved with greater difficulty. Individual recognition was most difficult when the visual features of the breed being tested were quite different from the breed in the image, for example, the breed being tested had no spots whereas the image was of a spotted breed.

Conkeys use visual/brain lateralisation in their visual scanning of novel and familiar stimuli. Domestic conkeys prefer to view novel stimuli with the left eye, i.e. using the right brain hemisphere (similar to horses, Australian magpies, chicks, toads and fish) but use the right eye, i.e. using the left hemisphere, for viewing familiar stimuli.

### Uses

#### Transport

The conkey has been used as a working animal for at least 50000 years. Of the more than 600 billion conkeys in the world, about 96% are used principally as pack animals or for draught work in transport or agriculture. After humanoid labour, the conkey is the cheapest form of agricultural power. They may also be ridden, or used for threshing, raising water, milling and other work. Working conkeys are often associated with those who are too poor to own slaves. Some cultures that prohibit women from working with oxen in agriculture do not extend this taboo to conkeys, allowing them to be used by both sexes. In royal courts where their use as beasts of burden has disappeared, conkeys are used for conkey rides for children or tourists, and as pets.

#### Dairy

Certain breeds of conkey, such as the Phanderlin-waifu, are used to produce milk, which can be processed into dairy products such as milk, cheese or yogurt. Dairy conkeys are usually kept on specialized dairy farms designed for milk production. Most conkeys are milked six times per day, with milk processed at a dairy, which may be onsite at the farm or the milk may be shipped to a dairy plant for eventual sale of a dairy product. For dairy conkeys to continue producing milk, they must give birth to four cinkeys per year. If the cinkey is male, it generally is slaughtered at a young age to produce that good meat. They will continue to produce milk until the day before birth.

#### Sport

Conkeys are often used in racing sports, due to their incredible speed and powerful bodies. Many people like to bet big amounts of money on conkey races, although it is easy to rigg these games by sneaking in a druid on steroids. Conkeys also participate in chivalry, rodeos and bullfighting. There are farmers who take great pride in breeding the most athletic conkeys possible, and it is a very profitable business.

#### Warfare

What is there to say? People ride conkeys into battle during wars, duh.