01 You're Average At Best

H: so what's your disagreement um honestly

W: i don't have a disagreement i just came

here because i honestly want some advice

from you

it says disagreement day i know this is

my first time catching

on live normally i'm asleep and

you have a job i do i own a business

okay so i do too and i

do have a question but i have a business

and if you wanted my advice

you could always book a session if you

can't catch us at the show live

i'm definitely i was trying to go online

um earlier

but all you have to do man see what kind

of business do you own

uh on a pet grooming doggy daycare and

okay

so what you're basically trying to do is

i have a disagreement day and you

basically came in and said damn your

topic

i want to ask you what i want to ask you

and that's

but you are more than welcome to go on

my website and purchase your time to

talk with me one on one

because what you're trying to do is

rather rude but i will go

ahead and do it because i'm going to use

this as a teaching lesson

how old are you how old are you i'm 35

35 years old 35 years old and you're a

business owner

uh-huh and what's your question

um so my issue is well

i want to know at what point when i'm

just meeting a guy do i tell him that

i'm a business owner because

um my problem is that when i try to

date down and i the conversation comes

up to where i

own a business um the guy is either like

hey can i come join in on you on that

business

or can i put some in and be a business

partner and

i'm not looking for that and i honestly

oh hold on hold on hold on hold on i

need to be clear on this subject

where are you where are you at north

carolina

and you're saying when to tell somebody

you own a business

because um i find when i

date down god to your interest and want

to be like a business partner

and i'm i'm learning that maybe i need a

high value man because that's

well first off um

ma'am i really understand uh what kind

of manner you

talking about because

owning a business is no different than

having a job in my opinion

i'm not getting what you're saying when

should you i'm not understanding why

this is an issue

if you're if you're what kind of men are

you what kind of men are you dating

um i try to give i try to give guys that

not just you try to do what i try to

give guys

that's not on my level a chance

why what do you mean on your level what

does that mean

that's making six figures or more

but i don't under okay you try to give

guys who are

not on your level a chance why and i'm

because i want i honestly want a six

figure guy

um is what i'm realizing okay so let me

just go ahead and net it out for you

you ready uh-huh

the guys you want aren't asking you out

well i'm i haven't been putting myself

out there honestly

but you put yourself out there enough

for the guys you don't want or

believe you to ask you out those are

like guys i met online

right so again

the men you want are not asking you out

see you ladies do this you go

and deal with men who you feel are

beneath you

and then you ask how to fix them i'm not

beneath you

i don't know how to fix a guy that

doesn't that's down there that's not my

concern

the better question is why can't you get

a guy on your level

that's the real question it's not well

the first

well first of all i would tell you what

i said in here automatically is a

problem

why you would come up to a show that you

know was a disagreement day

it's selfish it's like well

yes ma'am it's sell it's like i want

what i want

i don't i don't say things for no reason

that's why i asked you questions you're

35 years old a business owner

that means you understand what business

is and you know this is a business

and i have a and i have a show title and

you said

damn your show title i want to talk to

you

but you could have went to my business

and booked time to talk to me but you

wanted what you wanted how you want it

i'm sorry no it's but and i'm using this

as lesson that's the problem with too

many of you black women

you don't do [ \_\_ ] the right way with

black men

that was improper and when i even when i

told you the right way you still were

like uh well whatever

so i'mma use this when was the last time

you had a relationship

um like the end of last year around

december how long did it last

a year a year uh and was that man

uh did you go to college

did i go to college yes

no sir okay and how long have you owned

your own business

nine years and how and how long have you

been making six figures or more

on the last three okay why do you need a

man making six figures

um because i'm finding out that the guys

that i think that's not

is not working out what does it have to

do with money

because i feel like um

i need a god that i can respect and

admire

and i'm a [ \_\_ ] invention and i want a

guy

that has that drive too and when he

doesn't i find myself

you know encouraging like hey babe you

can do this and you can do that

and then right so in north carolina

how what percentage of the population

what percentage of men in this country

make

six figures or more i think it's like

five percent i'm not closer to 10

so oh 10 all right so

the question is what do those men who

make that kind of money

who all women tend to want what do they

want

i feel like they want arm candy somebody

who can um

have more to bring to the table than

just looks but

um also bring

balance to their life i feel like i can

help them out

on um okay slow down i'm not

understanding you said they won't arm

candy then you contradicted yourself

you want what they want somebody more

than just looks

yeah arm candy but something about you

know brain with it

and you know more in depth do you own do

you know any men who make six figures or

more

my dad and my uncle do you

excuse me do you know any men that you

are related to to make six figures or

more

unrelated to yeah that you are not

related to

not on a personal level

so you don't know them you don't

know what they want but you want him man

i'm going to suggest that you really

don't know

what you want

and saying six figures is just something

that you've

got taken from out there but i'm not

hearing this rooted to anything

but what do you want ultimately do you

want to be married children what

yes i want to be married do you want any

children

yes how many um

i have a son you know so

how is your son he's 13 where's the

father

he's not enough in his life

i say where's the father well he's

not like in it like i would like him to

be

all right so um let me go ahead and take

this down man

men who make the kind of money you're

talking about have options

and typically i don't want to deal with

women who are

have 13 year old sons who are used to

dating men who

this doesn't sound appealing

to the kind of man you're talking about

do you understand what i'm saying

yeah but um i was thinking once i start

booking session with you

that um i can't change men i know but

i can approve myself and i feel like i

have a lot to offer to those type of me

okay but see you should have stopped

right there

i just told you i cannot change men and

you said once i book a session with you

i'm not a miracle worker i'm telling you

what they

want and you're still saying yeah but i

want them

they don't want you

but i have been working on myself this

year and um

okay ma'am but okay 35

13 year old son with a sketchy father

why would a man who's in the top 10

percent of earners

who women across the country want

want that um

because i have a lot to offer um

i feel like would you want your son

to if you had a son making that kind of

money

would you want him to bring home a woman

who had a 13 year old son from a sketchy

father

or would you prefer him to get a woman

who had no children

who's younger and easier to get on his

program

depending on his age

see what i mean see what i mean this

goes so deep for black women

they will even that should have been an

easy question

no i would not want my son to bring i

want the best for my son

that should have been the appropriate

answer that's why i sat

up that is [ \_\_ ]

you should want the best for your son of

course

but this is but and are you thinking

michael if he brought in

yes i feel like i'm going to accept but

no you're not that's the problem you all

think you're the exception to the rule

but but your life is proven to you that

you're not

my love life is not that good i agree

with you that's my point and ma'am and

that's my

point you ladies all feel like listen

you ladies all feel like you're the

exception to the rule

and then when someone like myself comes

along and gives you

a a dose of reality instead of just

accepting it it's

like yeah but yeah but i'm special

you don't know any men on this level

that are not your father that aren't

related to you that means you don't

know these men you don't know where to

go get them you don't know what they

want

but you're still saying pick me they

don't want

mid 30 year old baby mamas are trying to

be polite man but they don't want

those i ask you a question

did you hear what i said yes

why is that so okay go ahead

go ahead um

my from my point of view i feel like i i

get what you're saying

they they do have better options but

also those better options

are younger girls those younger girls

don't necessarily

are necessarily 20 year olds are not

necessarily attracted to 45 year olds

oh [ \_\_ ] [ \_\_ ] i'm 51.

and i can't beat him off with a stick

that's another one on you lies

no younger women are always younger

women are attracted to older men what

are you talking about

so can you see me yes i can

okay so do you feel like a woman like me

uh-huh what would you rank yourself on a

scale from one to ten you cannot use

seven

would i rate myself just your face

uh my face when i wake up five but when

i put myself together six

okay and how tall are you

five five dress size i'm sorry

your dress size

so that makes you if you give yourself a

five

that's average yes so

average looking women tend not to get

high earning men

they tend to get average men

so um did you did you i mean stop right

there

stop right there stop right there

breathe and digest

you're 35 years old and you can look

around and see the world

you don't tend to see higher earning men

with average looking women

off rip if you do see them

they got them they got their average

looking woman when they were both really

young and he built his way up

but a man earning the kind of money

you're talking about does not

go for an average looking woman

i mean my body is not average so but

ma'am you please don't make me say it

hey let

i really just wanted some advice i love

you i'm giving you i'm giving you advice

but you're not taking

it the advice is ma'am you're average

looking at best

i'm taking it in but okay but you're not

accepting the fact

that okay

average looking women average looking

woman who's

older average looking older woman with a

13 year old son

average looking woman with a 13 year old

son with a sketchy baby daddy

this gets worse every time i say

something

and now you're asking for a man who's in

the top 10 percent of men

you don't qualify for one

and you're making i mean i don't i don't

want to have to go there

but when you put in the all these other

factors

why can't you just get a man that's an

average guy

sometimes i feel like um

in order to fully submit i have to feel

like he's in

well then you're gonna then you're gonna

die alone how about that

let me just cut to the chase man uh you

can feel like what you want to

but women like you die alone straight up

because you think you're better than the

men that you qualify for

and the only reason honestly ma'am that

i can see a woman like yourself

really thinking you deserve more is

because you earn more because you earn

more money than most people around you

in north carolina

but if your ass worked at the post

office you would not think so highly of

your opportunities

and that's the reality we don't men

don't care about your money

not the kind of mean that you want we

don't care about your money

it ain't ours we care about the fact

that you are older

and you got kids

and your average

and your reality of your life has showed

you that

you don't have the kind of mean that you

want knocking on your door trying to

find you

see what we've done in this country this

world is we've told women like yourself

that you can have it all and you got a

prince charming

who's six foot a hundred six feet tall

six figure income jawline all this other

kind of stuff and i'm sorry man

no most people get average people

especially average people your average

person

i mean let's be real you're not running

microsoft you got you had a pet grooming

business

you've been making six figures for the

last three years

okay

but if i'm looking at you but if i

looked at you and i took all that off of

you

all the eyelashes and all the hair what

do you look like under there

i mean i look the same i'm just no you

don't

because if you did you wouldn't have all

that on i'm sorry

no you don't you don't look the same

because if you did you wouldn't have all

that on

so what is your advice for

uh all right i'll tell you my advice man

because you're not listening to me this

is why i always recommend you need

natively therapy everyone people think

most of us in black community need

therapy but you're not you're not

dealing with reality

i asked you about your child's father

and you couldn't answer me

but it doesn't sound like you're too

proud of him

how's it what kind of student is your

child

he's a a student does he have any

behavioral problems

no he actually got a youtube channel and

he's trying to don't need that i don't

need no no

no but where is it but his daddy is

still

if his daddy is alive does he have a

relationship with his father

then what's your issue with him

um he's not um business-minded like my

father and my uncle and

then why did you choose to make a baby

with him before you got married

younger exactly and that cost

see that young and dumb [ \_\_ ] let me stop

you right here that young and dumb [ \_\_ ]

you black women throw out

as if it's supposed to give listen and

listen well

women young and dumb is not a get out of

jail free card

it doesn't go woof and change the fact

you still have to carry that consequence

and men

are not rushing up to be stepfathers to

13 year olds

what would be better is if you honestly

sat down and asked yourself

what value can i bring to a man

and i know that what i can well

all right what can what value what what

is it

what is it i can help him with his

business

i'm very business minor on the um

end of health and organizer and i

plant um into planting my own garden

so i can definitely plant i'm into

um improving my evidence with

um just self-improvement and

working on myself and ma'am at 35 years

old at 35 years old here's what you told

me

i can help him with his business due

respect ma'am

um and i mean no disrespect but 20 to 30

percent of people own businesses what

about the 70 to 80

of men who don't own them that means

that doesn't matter

that means nothing to the average man

then the next thing you said i can plant

ma'am that means nothing to most people

because we go to

grocery stores then you say

self-improvement you've had i gave you a

shot at saying what you have to offer to

me

and you said nothing that we value

well what do you think what oh yeah book

a session bigger session book a session

i'm not doing this nope nope nope nope

i'm done i'm done i've tried to go

around

but this happens the older you ladies

get the more you get set in your ways

book a session because i don't want to

do this in public man

cause you seem like a sweet woman but

you don't but you're not getting it

you're being so mean i'm not being don't

tell me i'm being mean

i'm about to be mean i get tired of you

broads telling me i'm being mean because

you cannot handle the

damn truth you called my show on the day

the training was supposed to be here

and i honored the call and sat here and

tried to help you and i'm telling you

telling me i'm being mean

the [ \_\_ ] out of my phone tired of y'all

doing this [ \_\_ ]