Mudgement Cuisine

Mudgement, the only permanently inhabited human settlement on Ploapatopia, is distinguished by a unique food culture delicately described by some as "the last possible resort when considering what objects to put in one's mouth." Predominant flavors include fish, resin, and the manure of large ungulates. The distinctive quality of many Mudgement foods arises as a result of numerous factors, including its isolation from other human cultures, the hostility of native Ploapatopian life, and the fact that all domesticated livestock have taken on unusually piscine characteristics, among other things. Mudgemites' ability to survive and even enjoy consuming the products they do on a daily basis is equivocally attributed to Moose Margaret's blessing allowing her people to not be harmed by the things they put in their bodies, and the enjoyment she gets watching people slurp up slaked pork.

## Notable foods and ingredients

### Nilk

Nilk is a staple food consumed by all people throughout Mudgement. A protein-rich fluid exuded from the skin of livestock, nilk is harvested using a special squeegee-like tool known as a nîlk sxêk ("nilk strigil"). While most large domesticated mammals secrete nilk, the best-quality product for consumption comes from pigs. This type of nilk is also the easiest to harvest, as the large bowlike shape of the nilk strigil easily glides over the smooth, glistening surface of the pig. Cow nilk, on the other hand, is typically cooked down to a mucilaginous texture and mixed with sand for use as a building material.

Nilk is typically consumed from a bowl with a spoon as a soup or porridge, sprinkled with salt (for savory applications) or with sweet toppings such as yew arils or pine nuts. It may also be thickened into a sliceable cheese-like texture by slowly cooking over low heat. Raw fermented nilk, known as nîlkâč, is prepared as an offering to Moose Margaret. It is not typically consumed by humans, as it causes nitrogen bubbles to appear in the bloodstream. Adding copious quantities of salt to the nilk negates this effect; bescestershire sauce is created by leaving salted nilk out for 3 days. Nilk may also be dried and shaved into a powder known as duxwi, used to season the delicacy known as pânčkêb (horror-bird; boil a chicken for an hour, then remove from the pot and throw out the chicken water. Serve at 72ºF. Leave unseasoned except for a sprinkling of dried nilk).

### Slaked pork

Slaked pork is a delicacy eaten only on feast days. It is prepared by first leaving raw pig meat in room-temperature water for 48 hours while periodically stirring with a giant whisk known as a "porkwhargler", after which the meat is simmered for 10 hours until it reaches the consistency of slimy fibers. The dish is served warm and eaten by slurping directly from a special communal vessel called a “pork trumpet” without any utensils.

### Stunch

A highly sought-after ingredient used to season many different dishes. Stunch is secreted from specialized glands on the face of the stunch puffin, a native Ploapatopian animal whose kink is laying eggs on things and immediately smashing them. Because stunch puffins are outwardly hostile to humans, stunch must be harvested indirectly. Luckily enough, the animals use stunch to mark their territory; a sure sign that a stunch puffin is nearby is the thick coating of stunch it leaves on every nearby vertical surface. The quality and pungency of stunch quickly declines the longer it is exposed to oxygen outside of the animal; the highest-grade stunch is harvested directly from a freshly dead specimen (this almost never happens), but good-quality alternatives can be found by tracking a stunch puffin as it marks surfaces, and scraping the still-wet substance into a vacuum-sealed package. The flavor of stunch has been described as something akin to a blend of warm spices with very strong overtones of cow manure.

Ginkgo fruits are also illegally processed and dyed to be sold as "fool's stunch"

### Aspics

Aspics are harvested in large quantities from the Aspic Ocean. These sentient gelatin products represent a rare instance in which Mar Stargaret's plan to undermine human life on Ploapatopia failed, as she didn't account for the fact that The Vast HROAF occurred during the 1950s, and now aspics are a staple food. Ploapatopian aspics are unusual among Mudgemite foods in that they contain many "normal" ingredients that are otherwise nonexistent on Ploapatopia, including whole chicken eggs, non-fish meat, carrots, clams, celery, tomatoes, grapes, and slices of wheat bread. While often consumed raw, aspics may also be sun-dried to a leathery jerky-like texture, or pulverized into a slurry that is mixed with fresh nilk.

A number plant-derived aspics exist as well. For example vine-agar grows on the vining beach junipers on the shores of the Aspic Ocean and is used to add a tangy gelatinous touch to meals. *Welwitschia myxophora* also grows on the shores and continually extrudes perfectly cylindrical masses of gel from where a plant's apical meristem would normally be. Pine needles can also be boiled to a jelly for those who prefer the taste of resin on their dishes.