A Quiet Place

## Summary

The crew travels to an impressive repository of knowledge. Pleck Finds Himself. AJ definitely reads. Nermut follows his instincts.

## Plot

Pleck asks C-53 if he's seen Nermut. Nermut is building a nest on top of the fridge. He knows in his heart he is about to become a parent. It needs to be on a cliff edge in order to get optimal sunlight. They can't get into the freezer as Nermut's nest blocks the door. AJ has torn his rotator cuff and wants a KoolPak Cold Sacs to treat it. C-53 is worried about AJ's injury. AJ is not as he has been cloned to heal rapidly. Dar enters, apologising for using up all the cold water. Pleck asks Dar if they used it all up because they are pregnant or horny. It's because they are horny, they don't want to watch porn while pregnant. Leximar Pwench calls Bargie, she's been ignoring his calls. He is the biggest agent in Holowood. She is avoiding the consequences of her actions in Holowood. The missionator is in Nermut's nest. AJ is pumped to go on a mission. Bargie asks if she is going to be paid. C-53 assures her that if they take over the emperor they might be able to change tax laws. Bargie takes some time to think about it while Nermut assigns them a mission. They are going to the Public Library, it houses a copy of all ancient Zima scrolls. Pleck used to have a copy of all the scrolls until Nermut tore them up to make his nest. C-53 is looking forward to the opportunity to update his Zyxx diplomatic protocols, most of his previous knowledge was replaced with On-N-Off Burger operating procedures. Dar is looking forward to the Literotica to solve their horny problem. Nermut wants to look at parenting books. AJ continues to pretend he can read.

 A hologram of Turk Manaked at the Tiny Toots Memorial Museum reads ad copy for Bombas Socks.

 AJ is excited to be at the library. The crew are asked to remove their footwear and put them in a hydro-cubby (a bucket of water). They meet Poopins the Head Librarian. Poopins has a very large head, AJ remarks on it and offends Poopins. Poopins' family has been working at the Public Library for four generations, Poopins has worked there for 98 years. Poopins doesn't get to retire, when librarians die they crystallize and are displayed as busts in the Public Library. Nermut asks to be directed to the parenting section. Dar groans awkwardly and asks to be directed to the pervert section. Poopins tells them to not make eye contact with the perverts as they walk to the erotica corner. Dar has underestimated the level of pervert in this library, they want prose not picture books. Poopins gives Dar a 9000 page book to enjoy. Poopins directs Nermut to the parenting books. Pleck wishes him luck but tries to warn him to not study too hard. AJ's father was a big tube of blue liquid, it tried to ground him once. They've grown apart. He doesn't want to be like his father. Pleck asks Poopins to see the ancient Zima scrolls. Poopins asks if they can all read, they assure Poopins they can. Out of every 100 people who come into a Public Library 94 of them are perverts. The perverts are having a pants-down pizza party. AJ assures them again that he can read. The ancient scrolls are kept in a climate controlled room under a glass casing. This Public Library is well funded by the Emperor in order to gentrify the Zyxx Quadrant. Pleck tells Poopins that he's the chosen one of The Space. She is going to leave them there but the room is under surveillance. The scrolls are reference works and can't be removed from the library. AJ pulls Pleck into an aside and offers to take Poopins out. Pleck tells him that they can't do that. Poopins cuts in to let them know that they can check out the copies of the scrolls. Poopins and C-53 leave to update his protocols. C-53 speaks of the difficulties of not being updated when acting as a diplomat, as planet's cultures are constantly changing. They are interrupted by someone wanting to send an email to another dimension. C-53 is taking up a lot of bandwidth and preventing this important email to this beings family from going through. C-53 feels he should stop but Poopins insists he continue downloading the update. Others come to complain about the internet speed but Poopins chases them off. C-53 finds that he's okay with the perverts as they mostly stay in their area and they invited him to the pizza party. An alarm comes over the klaxon to warn Poopins that a book is being stolen. Its Nermet turning the parenting books into a nest. Nermut apologises and becomes emotional. Poopins is going to fine him for the books he's destroyed. A pervert, Culgar, offers to pay Nermut's fine as its his fetish. Poopins asks Nermut if he's considered the fack that Dar's child is unlikely to be his. Dar interrupts as they are unable to finish the book as the pages are stuck together. They find the backup copy of the book so Dar can finish the book. Poopins asks Dar if Nermut is their partner. Dar tells Poopins that they aren't together. Dar excuses themself to finish the book. Pleck wakes AJ up to show him that he's found his name in the scrolls. Poopins comes to tell them that the Library closes in 12 minutes if they want to check anything out. They choose to check out three scrolls. Poopins asks for their library card, since they don't have one Poopins starts the application process for them. Poopins asks for their permanent address, Bargie doesn't count as a permanent address. AJ tells Poopins to get down on the ground. Poopins threatens to sent an army of perverts against them. AJ removes his helmet and the retinal scan identifies him as Rolphus Tiddle and informs him of his outstanding fines. Nermut rejoins them. Pleck apologises for AJ's behaviour. AJ pretends to apologise but then drop kicks Poopins. C-53 and Dar rejoin them as the rest of the crew quickly exits the library. Poopins commands the perverts to seek vengeance.

 Head Toadie Bordoff in the imperial offices on the Planet Crusher Crusher is calling the emperor. It is in the Zyxx Quadrant. He reads sponsor copy for Care Of. They haven't heard anything from their strike teams in Holowood.

The crew reflect on their exit of the library. Pleck tells Nermut they can't take him on missions if he's going to tear up public property. He has decided to move back to his home planet and give them missions from there. He'll set up a nest on the cliffs there. C-53 asks if its a wise use of his time. Nermut tells them that he is already older than the average life expectancy for his species. They feel like they've wasted his years. Dar enters and asks what they're talking about. Bargie has finally decided to join their mission against the emperor.

## Quotes

"My new life motto is: keep it under the rug and then sell the rug." - Bargie

"A father knows when they are a father in the future." - Nermut

"Yeah, I think I'm the C.L.I.N.T. with the best reading mevel[sic]" - AJ

"Look me in my eyes, my eyes are my genitals" - Library pervert

"AJ, no, you can't drop kick an elderly librarian." - C-53

"And they did invite me to the pizza party even though I neither wear pants or can remove them" - C-53

"You're going to be a stay at home M.O.M.?" - Dar to Nermut

## Trivia

* Leximar Pwench is the biggest agent in Holowood.
* Poopins speaks 89 languages.
* Public Library is pronounced 'Poo-bleek Lie-bra-ie'
* The book Dar reads is called *The Unbearable Lightyears of Being*
* Pleck has an ongoing subscription to TheyTeen magazine
* Rolphus Tiddle owes the library 7,862.46 Kroon in overdue books. He has 'History of Orses' and 'How to be a Person' checked out.

## Credits

### **Voice actors**

C-53 - Jeremy Bent

Pleck Decksetter - Alden Ford

Dar - Allie Kokesh

Nermut Bundaloy - Seth Lind

B4ЯJ13 - Moujan Zolfaghari

AJ, C.L.I.N.T - Winston Noel

Poopins - Cathryn Mudon

### **Production**

Edited - Jeremy Bent

Recorded - Shane O'Connell

Sound Design and Mix - Shane O'Connell

Music - Brendan Ryan and performed by FAME's Macedonian Symphony Orchestra

Additional Music - Shane O’Connell

Opening Crawl Narration - Jeremy Crutchley

Ship Design - Eric Geusz