Table Etiquette

First and foremost, the
most important thing to remember about D&D, is that it is a **game**. And
that as a game, it’s meant to be an enjoyable experience for everyone involved.
On top of being a game, D&D is also a **collaborative game**. You are
all (DM included) working together to have a good time. This game shouldn’t be
seen as being one of “player vs. player” or “DM vs. players”, you are all
collaborating to create a shared epic adventure. The following are some guidelines
I’ve developed over the years to make sure we are all able to enjoy ourselves!

# Between Sessions

## Communication

In my perspective, the point of
communication is to eliminate the need for asking questions & pestering
each other. Effective communication means we’re all on the same page.

**1.**
RSVP to facebook events for upcoming sessions.
**I will let everyone know at least 3 days before if we will/won’t b.**
playing.

**2.**
Give at least 5 hour notice if you aren’t going to
be playing, **so I can rewrite the content if need be.**

**3.**
Respond to things I send. **Even with**
just an emoji or a reaction. I just need acknowledgement, otherwise I’ll think
you didn’t see the thing and stress out.

*I have to spend my time between games writing content for upcoming
sessions. I need to know who’s going to be there, so I can make sure the things
I write will work with who’s there. I don’t want to spend days writing content
that brings up Character X’s backstory, and have them not show up, ‘cause then
all that time was a waste.*

# During Sessions

## Breaks

Sessions can run between two and
eight hours, depending on how much content I have written, and how much
interest we all have in the game. No one really has the attention span to do
one thing for eight hours though, especially me! We are humans and we need
breaks.

**1.**
10 Minute Breaks. **I’ll sprinkle in**
10 minute breaks every 45 – 60 minutes. This will give us time to smoke, eat
snacks, make phone calls, etc.

**2.**
Dinner Breaks. **If we play for more**
than a couple hours, we’re gonna need food. I’m always happy to take 30-45
minute breaks to eat.

*Its best to have food be for everyone! It can feel really unfair
when one person makes/buys themselves food without collaborating with the
group. Shared meals & costs work best, and we can even devise a rotating
snack/meal schedule.*

## Keep It Relevant

Gaming time is for gaming. We
want to increase immersion, and reduce distractions.

**1.  Leave Pets at home.**

**2.  Leave drama at home.**

**3.**
Conversation should be limited to things related to
D&D. **Conversations for non-D&D stuff should be saved**
for **Breaks**.

**4.**
Phone use should be limited to things related to
D&D. **I’m all for using your phone to look up D&D**
things. Hell, that’s why I made the Wiki. I also love texting people things
during the game that I don’t want all the other players to know! **Keep it relevant,**
**though**. **Avoid shopping, browsing social media, texting & calling**
people outside of the D&D group. Phone calls and social media browsing
should be saved for **Breaks**.

**5.**
Take the time after your turn to prepare for your
next turn. **Try not to get distracted between your turns**
- in between your turns you should be preparing for your turn, so you’re not
having to look up mechanics or rules during your turn. This allows us to
maintain the pace of the game, and keep things fun and exciting!

*D&D is a game – its purpose is for fun. My job as a DM is to
facilitate the fun. I have to manage the group, and make sure everyone is
having a good time.*

## Story Over Rules

The rules in D&D are a
template more than anything. You see, the rules and mechanics are there to provide
us a framework for telling the story… but they are not the story and should not
necessarily dictate narrative. The rules are not what make the game fun. What
makes the game fun is the collaborative storytelling and epic moments produced
by the players and DM working together.

What this means for you, is if you
want to do something that goes against the rules or has no mechanics, but fits
the story, we’ll do it. My attitude is fuck it, it’ll make a great story.

This also means that if you want
to do something, and there’s clear rules and mechanics for it, I may say no if
it doesn’t fit the story or setting we are playing in.

Your fun is definitely my highest
priority, but there are some limits to what I’ll allow (they are few and far
between, I promise.

## Respect the DM

As mentioned above, there are a
few rare occasions will I will say no to something you want to do. Understand
that I don’t want to say no, I’d rather let ya’ll do whatever the fuck you want
and have all the fun in the world.

When I do say no, I need you to
respect that. No arguing, no pushback. Let the no be a no, and move on. I’m
always happy to brainstorm alternates!

Playing your Character

# Your Character

D&D is a **Role-Playing**
Game. The entire point is design a person, step into their shoes, and act out their
lives. D&D developed 5 traits to help you form a simple and dynamic
personality. If you’re having trouble stepping into your characters shoes,
simply look at their **Alignment, Personality Trait, Bond, and Flaw** to
determine how they will act. Sometimes these flaws may get your character into
trouble, but a lil drama is what makes these games fun!

## Prepare for In-Game Consequences

Your characters are not Gods, or
Kings. Even if they were, there doesn’t exist a world where there are no
consequences for actions. Of course there are good consequences! Rescuing a
princess may lead to heaps of gold and titles and land as a reward. But mothing
off to the king, barging into a castle and demanding to speak to the queen,
insulting a chief, etc – all those things may lead to your character getting
into trouble.

== Talking in
Character ==
Everything said during the game
is considered to be in character. If we’re interacting with the king and you
say something insulting, he’ll likely call the guards and have you arrested. If
you want to comment on the game without risking repercussions to your
character, simply say “Out of Character,” or “Time Out.” Making the Time Out
hand gesture works too!

# Repercussions

## Balance & Boundaries

Okay I really hate being the bad guy, I hate saying no, I
hate telling people that they’re doing something wrong. However, with the
amount of time and effort I put into D&D, I’ve learned that I need to be a
little strict, or risk feeling unappreciated, disrespected, etc. I need to set
clear boundaries so I can balance me having a good time, and all my players
having a good time.

I don’t want to jump right to being an ass though. My method
is as follows.

## 1. Set Clear Expectations

I don’t believe in telling someone that they’re doing
something wrong if I haven’t told them what’s wrong, or what’s right. That’s
the entire point of this document. We are all on the same page now.

## 2. Three Strike System with Clear Communication

People make mistakes, its hard remembering a million rules
with a week or two between each session. I’m all about being patient – but not
lenient. My philosophy is simple: *If it
happens once, it’s a mistake. If it happens twice, it’s a trend. If it happens
three times, it’s disrespect.*

 The first time I notice the problem I will tell you clearly
and directly if I have any issues with any behaviors. I tell you what happened,
why it’s a problem, and what solution I’d prefer.

If it happens again, we’ll have another talk. This time I’ll
try to deep dive into your why behind your actions. We’ll brainstorm a solution
that works for both of us.

If it happens a third time, that means to me that either you
don’t care, or I have to take a bit more heavy-handed approach: its **Smack Down
Time**.

## 3. Smack Down Time

If I am pushed into bringing down the hammer, you better
believe it’s coming down hard. I found this on the internet and I’m 100% going
to use it if I need to.