Baldi

**Baldi** was a prolific child predator and teacher at Delores High School, who committed suicide via gunshot in the school's janitor closet sometime not long before or after some investigators revealed his criminality to the police. He was also featured as a character in the fictional video game *Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Epicness*.

## Character description

### Appearance

Baldi is a tall, lean, Caucasian, bald man with big red lips and a single strain of hair protruding from the top of his bald head. He wears a long-sleeved lime green shirt, blue pants, and black shoes. He is often accompanied with a wooden ruler that he holds menacingly in his hands.

### Personality

In The Shitty Side Stories of Baldi, Baldi is an awkward teacher who struggles with the insecurity of not being cool in the eyes of his students. He gets very emotional and often lashes out at his students when they do anything that goes against how he feels at the time.
In Catching A Child Predator: Baldi's Basics, Baldi is a deranged and lust-stricken delinquent and his sexual deviance is much more prominent and he'll stop at nothing to make sure no one finds out about his skeletons.

His personality is largely based off his portrayal in the music video for You're Mine by DAGames. Many of the things he says comes from that song as well.

#### Sexuality and kinks

Baldi is a gay person because he sexually abuses both girls AND boys (Baldi has no double standards). He is also a serial pedophile rapist and child molester, and he takes photos of him and his victims with the help of the Principal. His kinks include sadism, pedophilia, exposing himself to minors, Coca-Cola, fursuiting, and diapers.

### Family

* His Sister: Baldi implied that he has a transgender sister in The Shitty Side Stories of Baldi.

### Relations

* His therapist: Baldi's therapist helped Baldi realize that he doesn't have to try so hard to be cool in front of his students.
* The Principal: The Principal is Baldi's partner in crime who often joins Baldi in his rape-based misdemeanors.
* Playtime: Playtime is a longtime victim of Baldi's abuse and his favorite student. In a photograph seen by Billy which was probably taken before the abuse began, Baldi and Playtime have gone canoeing together.

* Chubby Fat Wizard: Baldi has had more interactions with him than he has had with most of his other students. In The Shitty Side Stories of Baldi, Baldi and the Chubby Fat Wizard had a conversation in which Baldi told him that he was going to add a bunch of bots to the next Kahoot game and blame it on someone else to make himself seem cool, only for the Chubby Fat Wizard to do that instead. Baldi then sent him to the Principal's office. In Catching A Child Predator: Baldi's Basics, while singing a verse from *Your Mine* by DAGames, Baldi snuck up behind him and probably touched him inappropriately.
* Arts-And-Crafter: Baldi snugged his penis inside Arts-And-Crafter while his pants were down and while singing a verse from "Your Mine" by DAGames.
* Parker, Chester, and Billy: Parker and Chester set out to investigate claims from Billy about Baldi's strange behavior around Playtime. Baldi would eventually attempt to kill these three to prevent wind from their knowledge but failed.

## Video appearances

* 🌝-4: Baldi's appearance in *🌝-4* is entirely identical to his appearance in "Catching A Child Predator: Baldi's Basics", however there is no audio in that video due to a complicated video-editing procedure.
* The Shitty Side Stories of Baldi: In *The Shitty Side Stories of Baldi*, Baldi plays the role of the sole main character who suffers from insecurities about not being cool enough in the eyes of his students. He eventually overcomes his insecurities after talking to a therapist who tells him that the kids need a teacher which he is, and not a "dankster".
* Catching A Child Predator: Baldi's Basics: In *Catching A Child Predator: Baldi's Basics*, since it's Baldi's last day at the school, he and the Principal decided to throw a party in the cafeteria, however this would turn out to be a ploy to actually have a pedophile orgy-rape fest. And When Parker, Chester, and Billy confront Baldi about his misbehavior with Playtime earlier, he knocks them out and destroys their camera with his hidden ruler, then ties them up in ropes and hides Billy in the janitor closet, and Parker and Chester in a separate supply closet. When Baldi discover that the three have escaped their binds and collected all 8 notebooks (which having all 8 notebooks unlocks the school doors), he chases them with his lethal ruler as they run down the halls to an exit door, causing cataclysmic damage to the SPED's face in the process. After the trio escapes with Playtime, who they found in their escape, Baldi kills himself in the janitor closet with a firearm.
* Choose your Character: In *Choose your Character*, Baldi is featured as one the 40 playable characters in the fictional game *Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Epicness*.