Book of Mispells

The Book of Mispells is Meltarr's first thesis in a rushed attempt to keep up with Marko and Jo. Despite her best efforts, she had made crucial errors in transcribing the spells due to a combination of her rushing and her dyslexia - creating wholly different spells that the archmages found comical. Marko and Jo would gain knowledge from this demonstration that they would use to empower their spells while the archmages laughed Meltarr out of the room.

### 1st Level

* *Burning Hans* (*Burning Hands*) - Summons a fire elemental named Hans who solely seeks to light the nearest living thing on fire while the caster maintains concentration
* *Cause Bear* (*Cause Fear*) - Summons a black bear. The caster's Animal Handling skills will determine whether the bear is obedient or acts on its own
* *Geese* (*Grease*) - Summons feral geese that attack anyone in sight
* *Hump* [*Jump*]: A puppy is summoned on the leg of a target. The puppy is now humping that target's leg. It is distracting but the puppy can only be moved not harmed.
* *Mage Armoire* [*Mage Armor*]: Summons a fancy wardrobe
* *Magic Fizzle* [*Magic Missile*]: Creates a harmless, fizzly effect
* *Yield* [*Shield*]: Cause nearby pedestrians to slow down
* *Sheep* [*Sleep*]: Summons a sheep that just wants to graze
* *Unseen Savant* [*Unseen Servant*]: Summon an invisible being that is an expert in a random field of study

### 2nd Level

* *Arcane Dock* [*Arcane Lock*]: Summon a place for a ship to park as long as the caster is on a ship at sea
* *Slur* [*Blur*]: Makes a target unable to speak without slurring as if drunk
* *Blaming Sphere* [*Flaming Sphere*]: Summon a sphere that follows a target and blames them for current events
* *Gentle Response* [*Gentle Repose*]: Enables the caster to look at a letter and give the most polite response
* *Cold/Fold/Old Person* [*Hold Person*]: This spell will either attempt to chill a person, compel them to bend over, or forcibly age them. It is completely random
* *Flatter* [*Shatter*]: Makes the target feel like they have a close relation to the caster
* *Perching Ray* [*Scorching Ray*]: Fire rays that compel the target to perch

### 3rd Level

* *Animate Dad* [*Animate Dead*]: Create an animated, fatherly figure to tell bad jokes and make you barbecue
* *Bestow Purse* [*Bestow Curse*]: Causes a coin purse to appear on a target's belt
* *Wink* [*Blink*]: Target must make a Wisdom saving throw or become obsessed with earning your love
* *Catnip* [*Catnap*]: Create catnip. Cats will not want to stay away from you
* *Deer* [*Fear*]: Summons deer within a 15' cone in front of you. Whether they are obedient or not depends on the caster's skill with animals
* *Frightening Bolt* [*Lightning Bolt*]: Fire a bolt of energy that harms and terrifies all targets in a line.
* *Phantom Weed* [*Phantom Steed*]: Creates a spectral bag of weed
* *Thinking Cloud* [*Stinking Cloud*]: Creates a 20' radius of gas that provides assistance to those with tasks involving intellect
* *Summon Lesser Lemons* [*Summon Lesser Demons*]: Summon lemons that are going to expire soon
* *Ball of Sand* [*Wall of Sand*]: Throw a blinding ball of sand at a target's eyes
* *Ball of Water* [*Wall of Water*]: Bludgeon a target with cold water

### 4th Level

* *Dimension Doot* [*Dimension Door*]: Create a strange yet comforting trumpet in the distance. Some find it inspiring
* *Ick Storm* [*Ice Storm*]: Gross sludge rains down for a minute
* *Mordenkainen's Faithful Pound* [*Mordenkainen's Faithful Hound*]: Reliably hit someone from afar with force. Has a different effect when used on yourself but it is recommended to do so in private
* *Otiluke's Resilient Pear* [*Otiluke's Resilient Sphere*]: Creates an indestructible pear
* *Stone Grape* [*Stone Shape*]: Creates a grape made of stone. Can be thrown at someone to cause minor pain
* *Summon Greater Lemon* [*Summon Greater Lemon*]: Summon a Large lemon

### 5th Level

* *Clownkill* [*Cloudkill*]: Summons spectral clowns to attack anyone in an area
* *Contact Other Shan*e [*Contact Other Plane*]: Make contact with a random person named Shane
* *Lawn* [*Dawn*]: Create a lush, green square of freshly cut lawn
* *Misread* [*Mislead*]: Distort a target's ability to read letters and potentially situations
* *Crying* [*Scrying*]: Force a target to stop everything and uncontrollably sob
* *Searing* [*Seeming*]: Cause a target's body to feel the sensation of being pan seared
* *Wall of Forks* [*Wall of Force*]: Create a wall of tall, pointy-side up forks

### 6th Level

* *Arcane Wait* [*Arcane Gate*]: Create a waiting room
* *Circle of Dad* [*Circle of Death*]: Create a spectral Home Depot filled with dads that tell dad jokes and offer weird advice that can be very distracting
* *Defenestrate* [*Disintegrate*]: Attempt to throw a target out of the window with spectral force
* *Investor of Flame/Ice/Stone/Wind* [*Investiture of Flame/Ice/Stone/Wind*]: Summon an elemental who really likes talking about the stock market
* *True Peeing* [*True Seeing*]: Force a target to spend their time uncontrollably peeing

### 7th Level

* *Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mason* [*Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion*]: Summons a really fashionable stonemason
* *Power Word Pun* [*Power Word Pain*]: Tell a joke so bad that it enrages everyone who hears it
* *Telepoot* [*Teleport*]: Create a small fart noise from a distance

### 8th Level

* *Abi-Dhalsim's Horrid Quilting* [*Abi-Dalzim's Horrid Wilting*]: Create a 10' square ugly quilt that stretches pretty well
* *Illusory Wagon* [*Illusory Dragon*]: Create a false wagon in front of you
* *Laze* [*Maze*]: Cause a target to be so overcome with lethargy that they don't want to take actions.

### 9th Level

* *Gale* [*Gate*]: Summon powerful, cutting winds that can push those caught in it around
* *Time Shop* [*Time Stop*]: The battleground becomes a watch shop for a short period of time. Any action taken other than browsing or shopping will be severely punished
* *Word* [*Weird*]: Conjure a word (10 letters max) on a surface
* *Wash* [*Wish*]: A wet sponge cleans you vigorously for a minute