Exhausted Vs. Alberto! A revolution of love and a legacy of evil!

Gizoogle Lore: Exhausted Vs. Alberto! A revolution of love and a legacy of evil!

The Yellow Diamond public library. Exhausted made plans and deals with contractors nearly two years ago. He used money he found to fund it. And by found, I mean he read a letter meant for Stylo about an inheritance. Long story short, this library took years of dedication. Years that were the equivalent of one day in Vietnam.

 Exhausted walks in and looks around for a bit. He sees some nice boys of Hispanic descent and walks onward towards the back. His black arm reaches into his black covered body and pulls out a card. He goes to the very back and begins reading.

 "I am a gay little teapot, this is my boy pussy" he reads.

 "Hey wait a minute..." he realizes as Alberto comes out of the darkness hysterically laughing. He puts his phone in his back pocket as he wipes a tear off his cheek from laughing too hard.

 "You're so gullible." Alberto mocks.

 "Were you just... waiting that whole time? What if I didn't come?" Exhausted inquires.

 "I uh... Shut up." Alberto snarkily responds.

 "Anyway, I have some stuff to tell ya. But the thing is, I can't risk people listening in on us. So, I'm gonna text you the details." Alberto says as he takes out his phone again.

 "I don't think that's any safer..." Exhausted says as he pulls out his black phone. They exchange information and text each other while being right next to each other for several minutes. After a while, Alberto looks at Exhausted​ and smiles.

 "So, I helped you find your potential, now you help me with something." he says.

 "Are you fucking braindead? I have no use for you. In fact, I could fucking kill you right now." Exhausted proclaims.

 "But you won't. Because I know you. You're a guy who can appreciate fellow evil." Alberto smugly says as he rubs and ruins Exhausted's hair.

 "No. I am actually going to fucking kill you." Exhausted angrily responds.
Exhausted
felt a burning hatred for this giant brute lounging over him. Alberto was the
embodiement of everything he hated, a voice too gruff for a pitch too low,
large muscles too badly proportioned to be attractive and an attitude straight
out of a 90’s chick flick. Exhausted tensed his muscles and put his right foot
back, bending his knees, making him waist height to the gargantuan red monster
glaring down at him. He paused for a second however and stood up to his
original height, nearly at Alberto’s neck and declared “Hol up hol up hol up, i
have a boolin idea before we start duke’n it, go wait out in the garden over
there” Exhausted gestured to the field of tall daffodils beyond two sliding
glass doors.

“what
for..?” Alberto grunted haphazardly

“nah nah
trust me it’ll be the sickest thing” Exhausted shouted back as he dashed into a
small side room down a dimly lit corridor. Alberto tried craning his neck to
see what was going on but Exhausted’s hand kept gesturing outside. Alberto gave
up and lumbered outside, his footsteps making the bookshelves rattle. The sun
was beginning its descent and the sky was turning orange, golden sunbeams
streaking through the bushes that surrounded the acre of garden. He kept
walking to the furthest end of the meadow and turned around. It was about 100
metres or so away from the doors and difficult to see inside because of the
angle of the sun. Alberto sighed, he didn’t sign up for these shenanigans. A
small twang of a guitar is heard as the glass doors smash open, shards flying
in every direction as Exhausted struts out of the building. His shirt is off,
and the sources are gathered in a conical shape on his right hand to form a
drill. As the music gets louder Exhausted begins to pose with his muscles
bulging like mortys crotch in a kindergarten. Alberto rolls his eyes and purses
his lips as Exhausted completely disregards him.
“what a fuckin’ tune eh?” Exhausted calls over the music. “It’s the 2nd
Fist of the North Star op!”

“I don’t
care!” came the harsh reply from a distance away as Alberto grew impatient.

“Don’t be
dick, it’s an absolute anthem!” Exhausted yelled, slightly insulted. The song
was drawing to a close and Exhausted slackened his muscles and step off the
porch into the sunlight. The drill started to rotate, silently, but Exhausted
thought drill noises were cool so he hummed the noise.
“ddddddddddddddrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr” he said, staring down his opponent and
re-entering his low-down stance from earlier. Alberto uncrossed his arms and
held his right hand out, palm towards Exhausted. With a cry in german Exhausted
launched himself in a cloud of dust the entire length of the garden, drill
outstretched. Alberto instantly tensed and an enormous blast of flame erupted
from the space in front of his palm right towards Exhausted’s shouting form. Exhausted
let out a shriek as the fire rushed towards him. An intense explosion rips
through the trees and scorches the ground but as the smoke clears it reveals a
large black dome anchored to the ground; Exhausted’s head pops out the top.

“STEADY ON MATE,
JESUS CHRIST THERE’S NO NEED” He squawks as his hair sizzles. With no
hesitation, Alberto advances and resumes spewing flame at the dome. Exhausted
is crouched inside as the walls around him begin to squirm.

“Sources are
an excellent conductor of heat you dumbass, you’ve basically locked yourself
into a steel trap; You’ll be cooked alive!” Alberto’s taunt was muffled through
the black barrier, and the roar of flame drowned out Exhausted’s response. Exhausted
thought to himself “Now hang on... if sources can conduct heat... what about
Hamon..?” In the sweltering darkness he struggled to maintain his breathing. Alberto
was not giving up anytime soon, still standing over the defence and torching it
like a christmas pudding. With a loud crackle the dome was covered in Hamon,
the streams of energy leaping out in flares. Alberto’s flame struggled to
connect and began to dwindle. With a roar Exhausted’s heavily perspiring body
leapt out of the opening dome, sources retreating back to his hand.

“Your next
line will be: So you can withstand a fraction of my power?” Exhausted chuckled
smugly, striking another pose and panting heavily.

“So...you
can withstand a fraction of my power- oh shit” Alberto raised his thick arms
and crossed them over his face as a black drill accelerated towards his neck.
He caught it between his elbows and raised his knee to kick Exhausted in the
groin. Exhausted jumped back and steadied himself as Alberto recovered from the
surprise. After a few seconds of heavy breathing they rushed towards each other
and the crack of blows echoed off the librarys wall; each punch too fast to
see. Flashes of fire could be seen in the fray and the crackle of Hamon grew
louder. Both stood firm with their feet planted on the ground.

“oof...
watch out... ow... for my spaghe...bugger...tti... MOVE”

Exhausted shouted through gritted teeth as
boiling magma splashed on his exposed face. He stepped back once more and
gathered all his sources from around his body, leaving him naked, as his drill
grew exponentially and hamon became more visible on its surface. Holding it
back ready to strike, he paused when he heard his opponent chuckle. Alberto was
covered in shallow holes, dripping orange blood that evaporated and steamed as
it hit the ground; some parts of his body were missing chunks of flesh
entirely.

“We finish
this with a single move, that’s how you want it? The injured monster winced
through the pain.

“yeah and it
has to have the littest name, like something outta beyblade ya feel?” The naked
scottish lad explained.

Alberto
stood upright and put his hands together as Exhausted resumed his position to
strike.
“Alright then, lets end it quickly” came a slight mumble from behind Alberto’s
fangs.

“FINISHING
HELL ROTATION OVERDRIVE” Exhausted leapt forward in an instant. Alberto
panicked and set his fists ablaze. “Fuckin uuuuuhhh BIG OL FUCKIN UUUH PUNCH OR
SUMIN” he stuttered and lurched at tremendous speed. The two clashed in the
air, the shockwave destroying what little vegetation was left in the garden. As
they jostled fist-to fist, sparks of hamon and magma met in a furious climb to
the sky. Exhausted forgot to maintain his Hamon breathing and nervously
diverted the remaining energy into a blast to blow Alberto away. The explosion
launched the combatants to opposite end of the now barren field. They lay there
recovering their breath and staring up at the indigo sky. Eventually they
staggered to their feet and limped back to the centre where they stood slouched
and panting, trying to nurse burns and wounds. Exhausted grunted and raised his
head to look Alberto in the eye which was quite a feat. The sources swirled
their way around Exhausted’s injured body.

“Y’know, i
never asked you why you’re doing this. I don’t even know you and i ALSO want to
kill Rainho... You’da thunk if anything we’d be best mates being antagonists
and all.”

“Randy is
also an antagonist, why aren’t you BFF’s then, according to your logic?” Alberto’s
speech was ragged but still smug.

“aight
thassa fair point” Exhausted chuckled, wincing as cooling lava trickled down
his torso with every movement of his chest. “seriously though, you’re pretty
gosh darn motivated.” Exhausted’s gaze would not shift from Alberto’s agonized
face.

“I... just
want her back... you have no idea what it’s like without her... something so
perfect i can never have” Alberto grimaced as he began to fall to his knees in
either pain or sorrow.

“I’m
9000000000% autistic so i can’t relate ellemayoh. Also if you love ‘er so much
why are you trying to kill ‘er?!” Exhausted began to sit on the ground, not
breaking his gaze. The ground was still hot. “And why are you trying to kill
me?!” his voice getting higher with every forced word. Crossing his legs Exhausted
prepared his face and voice for emotions ready for a heartfelt talk.

“I’m not
angry at HER... if anything i’m angry at myself. Falling in love was never
something i wanted to do.”

“yeah now
THAT i can relate to”

“Love is the
most dangerous force in the entire multiverse. It can bring any man to his knees,
control his every thought... He would do anything to be free from its shackles
but he still strives to obtain it; no matter how hard the shackles dig into his
flesh. It can destroy a man from the inside.”

“pretty
fucking nifty analogy my guy, but it doesn’t explain anything.” Sensitivity was
never Exhausted’s strong suit.

“I love her,
and because of you and your squad-“

“HER squad” Exhausted
interrupted. “As much as i hate being a subordinate, i respect her as a leader.
She’s done so much for us; she’s in charge”

“... and you
hate that...” Alberto’s crimson eyes squinted at Exhausted’s robotic face like
a child looks at the microwave timer when there’s a spaghetti ready meal in
there.

“no... i
just WANT to hate it. I’m a terrible leader, if i were in charge nothing would
ever happen and eventually people would get sick and pull a mutiny.” Exhausted
hesitated. “Sorry, continue.”

“HER squad
is just another barrier to getting her back in my life. I’m not a monst-“ Alberto
made a small gulping noise and a small drop of lava dripped down his face. Exhausted
couldn’t tell if he was crying or just injured.

“I’m not a
monster! My purpose in life is too make her mine and make her happy! Not even
in a controlling way, i’d do whatever she wanted, whatever made her happy! It’s
not about me... it’s about her!” Alberto’s voice was loud and trembling, even
an advanced Autist like Exhausted could pick up he was upset.

“and you
want to kill her because you know you can never have her, but a small part of
you believes you COULD still have her. That conflict is impossible to control. If
she exists she causes you so much pain, more than the pain of losing her,
because in a sense, you’ve already lost her.”

“Y-y-yes,
holy shit how’d you get that so accurately?!”

“I watch a
lot of Rom-Coms” It was difficult to admit but Exhausted’s knowledge of love
came from HIMYM and Community.

They both
sighed simultaneously.

“We both
want control for different reasons. We both want the same outcome for different
motives. You want Rainho dead because of spite, whereas i do it because being
an antagonist gives you more power.”

“but neither
of us are very good at it eh?” Alberto forced a chuckle.

“eeyup.
Reckon it’s worth teaming up?”

“nope. Our
methods and personalities clash too much.”

“seconded.
Any plans for the future?” Exhausted wasn’t very good at small talk either but
this made Alberto stop and think. The contemplative silence lasted for nearly a
minute before Alberto finally claimed he did have one idea.

“There is
one thing we can do, to give us both a chance. I know of this, i suppose
‘fusion’ technique from back home in which the traits of one person are added
or removed from an exact clone of another, consenting person. It’s basically
demon sex for warlords.”

“Sounds
absolutely fucking disgusting but also like a fantastic idea.”

“the person
we create will be of a purer evil than the two of us. My rage and your creepy
sociopathic brain is the perfect combination for a conqueror. Not to mention i
can transfer your Sources to him aswell; and seeing as the personality will
only have changed slightly his stand power will be nearly identical to Type-40.”

“Hang on,
this whole time you can just get rid of sources but you never bothered to try
it on me while we were fighting?” Exhausted sounded almost hurt. “And how do
you know so much abouts stands?! HOW CAN YOU DO ANY OF THIS ANYWAY?!” Exhausted
began to tense as he prepared to get back to his feet.

Alberto
followed his lead and said “I can only transfer the sources from one consenting
organism to another; Spirits and souls wasn’t my strength in school. Rainho on
the other hand...”

Exhausted
took yet another deep sigh. “are you saying i could straight up leave the squad
and some evil version of me could take my place?”

“Essentially,
yes”

“Then lets
rock and roll my guy”

A few
minutes later Alberto finished drawing a pentagram in the dirt as he explained
to Exhausted the basics of Yu-gi-oh duel links. “you gotta choose a type for
your deck, i would recommend wind for a more complex strategy”

“Cheers my
guy i’ll look into it. How goes this demonic shit then?” Exhausted queried,
becoming slightly impatient.

“Finito,
stand here” Alberto’s enormous hand gestured to a point in the star. The
injured scottish lad limped over to face Alberto on the other side of the
circle. He began to worry, the whole demonic shit seemed a little OTT and
dangerous... Sure he wanted control, but not enough to hurt the people around
him.

“ok, we’ll
start now.” Alberto said quite quietly, raising his hand out over the circle.
“take my hand”

“miss me
with that g-... aight” Taken aback at first but doing his best to cooperate, he
took the demons giant hand in his. In a rush of black the Sources travelled
down his outstretched arm and dropped to the centre of the circle. The sky
darkened and the wind rushed around the pair in the ruined garden. Raw power
seemed to bleed from Alberto, and Exhausted sensed the incomprehensible rage
that had killed so many people and was going to do it again. He felt his own
selfish drive to claim power; the potential for evil was tremendous and that
scared him. Afraid of what the future held, he focused all the love and
admiration he had in him into one, miniscule point and added it to the swirling
concoction of pain and ambition. No one man should have all that powah. Should
anything go wrong, hopefully this small but powerful drop of happiness should
shine through in a dark hour. The sources on the ground writhed and squirmed
until they eventually dissapated, leaving another buff naked scottish lad. The
body lay there as the black clouds snaked around it, coating it in the familiar
itchy warmth.
“I’m no longer Exhausted.” Ronan declared looking down at his replacement; the
Pandoras box of young scottish pervy demon warlords.

There was an
akward silence between Ronan and Alberto as they waited for the product to not
be dead or something. It groaned a bit, confirming it worked and Exhausted 200%
Form was not actually dead.

“i suppose
it will take a while for him to gain conciousness. We better leave before we
have to answer his questions. Oh, but before we go i have to grant him Type-40
aswell...” Alberto took a small lump of bronze rock from belt above his
loincloth and ran it down Exhausted’s arm, drawing black blood that trickled to
the ground where the dry, cracked ground absorbed it like a sponge.

“so... i
guess it’s over. I can go home and continue my life free from the torment of
whatever the hell this group is. And you can rest assured that rainho will meet
her demise at the hands of the new Exhausted. Win-Win.”

Alberto
acknowledged this with a small grunt and turned away. “I suggest you find some
way to defend yourself without your sources; A stand can’t do much in a world
like this regardless how powerful it is, there will always be something to
completely counter or over-power it. Also please keep in mind you’re completely
naked now.”

Exhausted
looked startled as he was reminded that without sources, he would have to start
wearing clothes again.

“Aight, each
point noted. I’m thinking of learning Nanto Kusho Ken.”

Alberto
again grunted and began to walk away from the library, a small portal opening
in front of him. He turned back to look at Ronan and Exhausted.

“We’ll meet
again if all goes well, or alternatively it all goes wrong.” With these parting
words he squeezed his hulking frame through the portal leaving Ronan alone with
the snoozing catalyst of the cataclysm. He turned to look at the well lit
statue of yellow diamond. He listed all the things he needed to keep safe from
the new Exhausted’s iron grip of evil in his mind, and yellow diamond was
certainly one of them. He brought his entire body around, with his back facing
his now awakening counter-part. Before Exhausted could open his eyes, Ronan had
jumped the wall and was making his way with the wind to the Nanto temple.

Exhausted
stood up to his full height and nursed his throbbing head. He looked around in
dazed confusion at the burning trees and scorched ground. “fuckin hell what
kinda party did i miss?!” he shouted to the rustle of flaming bushes. “Good
fuckin grief, vars yon hoose island fae here?” adopting the scottish dialect
seeing as noone was round, he swept his hand over himself and in a black mist
he apparated on the front step of the gizoogle house.