recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Phoebe and the Brian Episode 2

Episode 158 Kentucky Goblins

Phoebe and Brian are hiking in the woods Phoebe Ask “Hey Brian are you going to tell me what we are doing in the woods of Kentucky? It was weird you saying “I have any idea” and not saying a thing on both cab rides, the plane, the uber we took and the past 5 hours we've been hiking to get here…” “ Phoebe we are doing the same thing we always do try to take over the world” (smash cut to Unbeliever A-A-Ron in a recording studio getting his sound checks done. He starts to sing “they're Phoebe and the Brian yes Phoe…..” the door is kicked in MEN IN BLACK swarm in!!! Let me clear that up they are lawyers dressed in black. They and a-a-ron start to argue he is told he can't sing the theme song) Cut back to Phoebe and Brian “Brian I really don't see how being in the woods of Kentucky will help us take over the World?” Phoebe said looking around as it grew darker “ It's simple Phoebe we hold the people in the cabin over there hostage till they buy a tshirt” Brian said as he pulled two silver jumpsuits out of his bag “quick put this on”  they both put them on. Phoebe Looking at Brian and herself Stating “Brian I don't know if this is a good idea we are in Kentucky and some of these people might have shotguns and will try to shoot us thinking we're like goblins or demons or aliens or something” “nonsense” says Brian as he does a backflip “now come on” ( I'm sure you know what takes place next. I got 500 words to use and don't want to waste any of them on pointless stuff ….Sebastian sits up in bed suddenly, grabbing his phone he sees a message from Phoebe - Brian and me just got off the plane I don't know where we are I think it's somewhere in eastern United States call me as soon as you get this- jumping out of bed, throws on his “Save the Turtles” shirt and running down the hall, as he yells aloud “oh no I missed The most recent episode of The Bachelor” anyways we join back with whatever Phoebe and Brian are doing now) A Woman is talking in the distance “the idea that monkeys was the case of….” Phoebe looks at Brian as he takes off his lucky bulletproof vest  “Well it's like I always say Brian You shouldn't monkey around” Brian looks determinedly off into the distance and states  “Come we must plan for tomorrow night” “what are we going to do tomorrow night?” “Same thing we do every night Phoebe try to get T-shirt money” (As they walk off a Cloaked figure emerges from the woods lighting a candle. Sneering at the two “SOON I will have my revenge”)
Jeb Bush

John Ellis 'Jeb' Bush is a former republican hopeful for the nomination to run for Illuminati puppet No. 1.

He is the brother of George W. Bush (Former President), son of George H. W. Bush (Former President), and the grandson of Prescott Bush (Renowned banker, senator, and supposed eugenics supporter). Jeb also has a son who is, rather imaginatively, called George.

## Bohemian Grove

According to a completely reliable and in no way untrustworthy source, whose story totally made sense and didn't have any holes in it, Jeb Bush attended the Bohemian Grove. Bohemian Grove is like a camp for rich people who urinate everywhere or something.

### Milkshake

Jeb Bush apparently threw a strop like a whiny little bitch when he wasn't allowed a milkshake outside of milkshake time or something equally as believable. I mean, why can't you have a milkshake before 8p.m.? I don't know, and neither does he. Surely before 8p.m. is a better time to have a milkshake than after as they have lots of sugar which will give you a sugar rush meaning you won't go to sleep, like, ever. But I digress. Yeah, Jeb Bush apparently says "Do you know who I am?". This might be believable if it was George Bush, but Jeb? Seriously? He's the creepy uncle at the family parties that nobody talks to. Seriously. I didn't even know he existed until he ran for the presidential nomination. And anyway, wouldn't the super-rich have a guy to always have a milkshake for them?

## Unbelievable Podcast

Jeb Bush is an avid listener of the Unbelievable Podcast. This can be seen in his commenting on the show.

Some of these comments also appear to show some sort of disdain towards Donald Trump, who is an alleged member of The Orange. Could Jeb be humanity's saviour? Or are The Orange at political war with the Illuminati? Who knows? Who cares? Not me.

## Lion Monster in the Mirror

Jeb Bush also appears to have some sort of link to the The Doglike-Arnold-Monster. The beast has the apparent ability to appear in a mirror when Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton appear on TV. The beast looks like a lion with a toe missing. If the lion get so close in the mirror that you could see the toe missing, wouldn't you freak out? Like, AHHH!!! LION!!! RUUNNNN!!!! Or at least go to a doctor and be like, "Yo, I'm seeing lions in my mirror and I don't live at a zoo". But no, just be chill about it, whatever.

## Election 2000

Jeb Bush was heavily implicated in alleged voting fraud in Florida (No, not the rapper) in the 2000 presidential elections. This alleged fraud was supposed to have swung the elections into a winnable position for George Bush.

## Other Lies

Another lie about Jebby Baby Bush is that he would have made John Stormm his secretary of defence, which makes sense. If you want to attack the USA he would just flip your car over. Good luck getting to the Homeland now!!

In 2016 Fox created a sitcom/detective/sci-fi crossover where Jeb plays the goofy side-kick to the serious intergalactic detective with a hard-hitting back story. The detective is to be played by Phil Schneider's Dick.

## Final Thoughts

This may article or may not be true for tax purposes.
FAN FICTION EPISODE 164 "DUMBEST ALIEN STORIES" PART TWO

## PART TWO: WARNING OF THE SPACE BRAINS

“I can’t wait to take my earned weekend vacation to Palos Verdes,” Sebastian exclaimed.

“I want to go on vacation too,” Phoebe complained.

“Sorry dude, you have not earned it.”

Before Phoebe could reply Brian interrupted, “Don’t worry Phoebe, Choksi has a show there this weekend, and we are going to sell unbelievable merch before curtain time. I am planning to pocket – IMPROVE the podcast with the sales.”

The merch sales – and the show – were a success. The Unbelievable Trio were the last to leave the venue since they had to packed their station.

“Thanks for turning my vacation into work,” Sebastian said as Brian started the car.

Boom! Two brain like creatures, with an eye in the middle of their frontal lobe, sat in the road surrounded by blue mist.

“What the FUCK is that,” Phoebe screamed while covering her face.

“Take the time to understand yourself. The time draws near when you shall need to. You shall not remember this until we meet again,” an unknown voice
said.

“Did you hear that,” Sebastian asked in a panic.

Brian opened his mouth to speak – but a bright light flashed and he found himself in a control room surrounded by brains.

“What’s with the brains,” he shouted in shock.

“What...us...we are Organic Translators…look at these images,” they said. A collage of images showed one of Brian’s possible futures. “You have too much power and many possible life paths. Never pocket the cash from merch sales. Doing so will lead you down a path of pure evil. On this path, you will lead and create the New World Order. Remember, consumerism is the ultimate evil!”

Brian scuffed, and said, “You guys are a bunch of stupid brains. I am not listening to you – any sentences.”

Another bright flash and Brian found himself back in the car; his Co-Host sat quietly and motionless. “Oh My God,” he said in a shaky voice; speaking seemed to reanimate them.

“What’s wrong dude,” Sebastian asked.

“The Brains...” Brian said in a trailing voice as he realized that the road brains were gone.

“They do not remember anything,” the unknown voice said directly to Brian.

Brian looked at his Co-hosts; they looked confused by his behavior. It became obvious that their minds had been tampered with. Knowing it was useless to try to explain the experience he started the drive home, and committed to forgetting the whole thing.

“We know you think this is dumber than Mel’s hole, but we are way-way smarter. Also, do not deny your feelings for Phoebe; she can help keep you on the right path.” Brian acted as if he did not hear the unknown voice. He was still debating if he should keep the merch cash or use it to improve the podcast. He wondered if the evil path would help him achieve his ultimate goal of immortality better then the path of good.

## LINKS

Episode 164 Part Three Coming Soon

Fan Fiction Table Of Content

Fan Fiction Main Page
Episode 6: Interview with an Alien

## Interview with An Alien

In this episode, Brian Frange and former co-host discuss e-mails from the deceased (also see Episode 157, Phone Calls From The Dead). This episode was released circa March 20, 2012, just before the predicted Mayan Apocolypse of 2012.

The episode also features partone of an interview with Andy Liu, a self described aliens from the 5th dimension Leo Martin found on a meetup group.

Leo plugged "Good vibes his way"

The episode had no poll results or mailbag segment.

## Notable Quotables

"Adult is more dumber than a kid" - Andy Liu

"Cause you know Granda E will smack you, fool!" -Leo Martin
Space Pancakes (Grease Cakes)

Three Italian aliens introduce Joe Simonton to greasy pancakes while requesting water. Joe shows immediate disgust at the taste. "Well they tasted like cardboard, thats why they're so small I guess!"

Turning the pancakes over to the airforce they were revealed to be regular buckwheat pancakes. Its assumed that Joe simply ruined them while cooking breakfast for his friends and simply made the tale up to cover his stupidity.

## Advertising/Media

An episode of the Unbelievable Podcast was brought to you by Italian Space Pancakes. You may think you’re starting your day off right. But, is your complete breakfast, really complete? Well it isn’t, until you add Italian Space pancakes. Our space pancakes are made from the finest buckwheat, hand fried by an authentic Italian alien and delivered to your door even if you didn’t ask for it. And all it costs is one easy payment of a little bit of water. Italian Space Pancakes, they don’t look like pancakes and they taste like shit.

## References

[The Unbelievable Podcast] Episode 164: The Dumbest Alien Stories [...]

http://podplayer.net/#/?id=16213085
New World Order

The **New World Order** conspiracy theory proposes that a group of entities that may be comprised of individuals, corporations, foundations, government officials, alien hybrids and/or professional wrestlers exists with the intention of creating a one world nation state dominated by one group of ruling elites over a time period of for for for.. for life.

###
Leo Martin

The original co-host of The Unbelievable Podcast.

Leo Martin lasted 8 episodes and his tenure is shrouded in mystery. It is believed that Martin has harnessed the power of Dark Crystals.

He later went on to become a Yugoslavian pop singer. In 1973, he recorded his signature song "Odiseja" ('Odyssey') for the PGP-RTB record label. The single sold 100,000 copies in its first week, easily outselling subsequent Unbelievable Podcast co-host and Yugoslavian pop singer Charles Gould.
FAN FICTION Episode 151: The Secret Life of Plants

## BOOK ONE: THE CACTUS CHRONICLES

A cool breeze blew through the bushes, startling Brain and Phoebe as they crept up to the green house. Under Brain’s aggressive command, Phoebe smashed a window. It’s important to note that Phoebe was wearing a tight shirt. Real tight… Pushing Phoebe out of the way, Brain jumped throw the window and started looking around. He couldn’t find what he was looking for, but then he heard it. Quietly at first, but soon it grew louder. In the very back corner of the greenhouse, there it was. “DUR” He grabbed the cactus and they fled the scene.

Back in L.A. Phoebe and Brain sat on the sofa opposite the cactus. Staring at it. It staring back. “So.. Uhh.. you sing right? Do you like to si…” Phoebe began to ask before being cut off. “Shut up Phoebe” Brain said “Listen here you dumb fuck plant. I need money. For t-shirts. And to buy stuff like tampons for my Bumble Bitches. I’m gonna take you on America’s Got Talent, you’re gonna sing and win me loads of money”. The cactus froze, knowing her only hope was to beg for mercy and explain to the human that she just wanted to go home. “DUR” it said.

There’s a nervous electricity backstage. Over the loud speaker they hear “Up next is Ricky’s Street Dances”. Brain bent down to the cactus and stared right into her prickly little face. “You better do well out there or I’ll set you on fire you dumb bitch. I need that t-shirt money.” The cactus trembled with fear. One of her spikes fell silently to the ground. She was startled by a round of applause from the audience. “That was Ricky’s Street Dances. He. Was. Really. Good at it!” And with that the cactus was brought on stage. You could feel anticipation and excitement crackling through the crowd. The cactus prepared herself for the greatest ballad she could muster. She took a deep breath (or a deep.. photosynthesis? I guess?) and began to sing “DUR”

…

The crowd did nothing.

…

“You're shit” Someone shouted from the back. And with this the audience began to boo and throw things at the cactus. They threw rocks, sticks, fruit, vegetables. The cactus stood there in a silent fear as this barrage of objects rained down on her. She noticed a carrot flying towards her, and began to silently weep. That carrot had been her friend. She continued to watch in horror as the mangled corpses of her murdered acquaintances were thoughtlessly lobbed in her direction.

Brain and Phoebe stood in Sebastian’s backyard over the smouldering body of Margery the Cactus. There was little that could be said to comfort Brain.

“You know what?” Sebastian began “I think if it had been a different plant than maybe it would of sang better”

“Oh yeah?” Brain asked “What plant do you think would have been better?”

“Maybe Corn?”

“What.”

“Me like corn”

“Fuck off”

…

“Corn good”

## LINKS

Fan Fiction Main Page

Fan Fiction Table Of Content
Truman Bethurum

### The Clarions

In July of 1952, Asphalt Mechanic Truman Bethurum was first contacted by The Clarions from Clarion. The Clarions contacted him four more times over the next several years during which they gave him some flares, lied to him about taking him to Clarion, were instrumental in Bethurum's wife filing for divorce, and generally fucked up his life. On the plus side, Bethurum touched the shoulder of Clarion Captian Aura Rhanes and earned a sweet new nickname from his coworkers -- Saucers.
Corey Fogelmanis Wiki

<hero description="This is a wiki for the sexy Corey Shain Fogelmanis!" imagename="" cropposition="" />

## Welcome to the Corey Fogelmanis Wiki!

This is a wiki all about Corey Fogelmanis!

> "Hi I'm Corey Fogelmanis from Girl Meets World and you're watching Disney Channel. \*Draws With The Wand\* I can get used to that." -Corey Fogelmanis
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FAN FICTION EPISODE 172 "The Wishing Machine"

## THE LOST CHAPTER: A SPECIAL WISH

The fireplace illuminated the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves
lining a man named Frank’s den; it was furnished practically. A chaise lounge was
the main focal point and faced the French Doors overlooking his massive estate.

Frank pompously walked in; his fancy shoes echoed against
the marble. He quickly removed his tailored-made jacket, gold cuffs and tie
from his strong body. After placing them on his walnut credenza, he poured
himself a snifter of brandy and grabbed a sweet tango apple.

Frank draped himself on the chaise lounge and scrolled
through Bumble. In frustration he threw his phone down on his mahogany accent
table beside his brandy and the apple.

“Such vapid females, they bore me," he muttered in
disgust. “Maybe Vanessa is right, I just need to wait for love to come to me."

Frank closed his eyes in exhaustion; the grandfather clock
boomed its announcement of 7 o’clock. The final gong sounded abnormal and
startled Frank. He cautiously looked around the room; it gleamed in moonlight.

"The sun can't set that fast".

A peculiar black box – that was not there before – now sat
on the accent table.

"What the hell," he said timidly while grabbing
the box.

As if it had been there for years, the box was covered in
dust. Removing the lid created an artificial cloud. As the cloud dissipated,
Frank's eyes widened.

The box held a wooden instrument with a bunch of knobs and a
rubbing plate; the wishing machine. Frank began twisting the knobs. Then, he
remembered that the knobs needed to be sticky to work. So, he licked his left
hand to twist and used his right to rub the plate. All the knobs became sticky
at the same time and a blinding flash burst from the machine.

Frank dropped the device. The den began to fill-up with a
strong yellow fog. The latch on the French Doors unhooked itself. The doors
flung open. Frank saw a silhouette floating elegantly towards him.

"Oh-my-beauty…"

Frank’s ideal woman landed in front of him in a short black
dress. She leaned forward to kiss him softly. Her fingers caressed his burly
beard and traveled down his shirt undoing each button revealing his humongous
pectoral muscles covered in thick manly hair. Frank's hands easily traversed
her dress.

“Undress me,” she whispered.

“Who are you,” he asked while nervously wiggled her clothing off. Her tongue gently traced his ear in appreciation. She
unbuckled his pants. Frank’s thick member was released into the autumn
twilight at full attention.

“Call me Stephanie,” she said mounting him.

Frank’s heart sunk, he realized his sweet tango apple had
disappeared from the mahogany table. He realized that some of her animosity was
defiantly apple-shape.

Frank jerked awake. He was alone. It was still 7 o’clock and
the last chime rang normally.

“Just a dream,” he said seeing the apple on the table.

Frank stretched in an attempt to relax. His foot felt
something soft. Frank peered below the chaise and found the wishing machine covered in a strange substance.

## LINKS

Fan Fiction Main Page

Fan Fiction Table Of Content
Fritz Springmeier

### Overview

Fritz Springmeier (born Victor Earl Schoof) was a classic American conspiracy theorist/militant Christian.

### Classic Jokes

"Now think about this - here on the outside we've got a Catholic, and a Mormon, and a Jehova's Witness. This is the perfect control mechanism. The Catholic out here is fighting the Mormon who's fighting the Jehova's witness who's fighting somebody else. No one of them ever rebel against the Center."

"Satan knows that when you go to a resturuant you like a variety. So all of these groups are paterned under that pie shaped thing that I just gave you, that pyramid -- and my apologies to Baskin-Robbins, there are more than 31 flavors there."
Westall UFO

## The Event

On the 6th of April 1966 around 200 students and teachers of the Westall public school, in Victoria Au
stralia, witnessed a "UFO" descend from the sky and land in an adjacent field to their school.

Being Victoria Australia the students and teachers were dismissed as being only one chromosome different from their bass strait cousins, Tasmanians, and thus clinically insane and possibly two headed.

## The Facts

There are no facts or evidence except for the deposition of over 200 individuals, one student even claimed to touch the landed craft and suffer burns.

## Teachers Response

Being the 60's and Victoria Australia the teachers didn't give a toss, but rather let the kids run after the ~~escaped weather ballon~~ Alien craft, and touch and interact with it. It's suspected the teachers lounge was full at this time and "happening!"

## Investigation

A 50-minute HDTV documentary called “Westall ‘66: Way Better Than a 69” first aired on Australian TV on 4 June 2010. On 4 June 2010 a Seven Network TV program, *Today Tonight*, produced a segment about the Westall case and documentary.

It was also covered in Close Encounters.
Ricky the Street Performer (He's Really Good at it)

Possibly the greatest street performer in the world, Ricky is known throughout the Houston area for his portraits and dances, of which he is really good at. Aside from his street performing, Ricky is notorious for his love of tugging beards, particularly the beard of ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons, who he wouldn’t mind slapping because he likes Frank Beard more.

Once, while taking a stroll through a bayou, Ricky saw a black eyed children in a tree. The children then gave Ricky a menacing look and jumped into the water and swam away. Ricky has not seen the children since.
Grapefruit Launcher

## Overview

The Grapefruit launcher is a simple weapon designed by the Sharkmen to destroy the International Space Station (ISS) with the sole intention of preventing us from playing Angry Birds.

## Design

Either a pressurized tube that launches grapefruit or grapefruit analogies from the open end. Or a tube the diameter of an average grapefruit fitted with a rubber sling or rubber glove finger (from a large surgical glove like the kind worn by Sasquatch.)

## Aim (pun intended)

To destroy the ISS with the sole intention of destroying the satellite network used for mankind to access and play the Angry Birds game.

## References

1. ↑ https://www.spreaker.com/user/unbelievable/unbelievable-podcast-open-lines-episode-\_4
2. ↑ The **grapefruit** (*Citrus* × *paradisi*) is a subtropical citrus tree known for its sour to semi-sweet fruit.
Mel's Hole

In 1787 Mel Waters called into Coast2Coast AM to talk about a giant hole he found on his property. And this page is going to discuss Mel's gaping hole, but first....

===Did you know it rains frogs in some places? Just right out of the sky! I'm telling you, it's the damnedest thing. But getting back to what we're all here for, Mel's Hole.
This hole has mystical properties that can bring dogs back to life and even burn ice!===

But not only that, Brazil nuts sometimes also rain from the sky. These nuts are quiet as they fall, unlike the screaming sounds a cat would make if you threw a live one down Mel's Hole. Mel's hole is deep. He's tossed dead cows and refrigerators down there

I saw a hole on the TV once, on the Twilight Zone or Outer Limits, I think it was. This was back in olden times when fellas rode horses. Mel lowered thousands of miles of fishing line into his hole and dogs won't go near it.

Eventually the military seizes Mel's hole and pays him 8 million dollars to abandon his hole and raise wombats in the Australian outback. The wombats sucked Mel dry of the 8 million and he ended up on a bus where he got in a fight and lost his teeth.

Mel got new teeth and met some Native Americans who had their own weird hole. Their hole had a beam of darkness shooting out of it, so naturally they beat a sheep unconscious and lowered it 1500 feet into the hole. Mel is not a sheep guy, but Mel can pick up a sheep.

When they got the sheep back out of the hole, it had been cooked and a kind-eyed seal creature emerged from a tumor inside the sheep. The creature looked compassionately at Mel for about 2 solid hours before nodding and leaping back into the Native American hole.

# =

But did I say it was Brazil nuts? I'm not sure if it makes a difference.
Main Page

## Welcome To The Unbelievable Wikia

The official Wiki for Conspiracy Theories, Aliens, Illuminati, New World Order, Abductions, Reptilians and anything and everything Paranormal, Cryptozoological, or otherwise unusual. Created by The Unbelievable Podcast (www.unbelievablepodcast.com) Twitter : @UnbelievablePod.

Feel free to "Pick up your brain" and contribute.

## About The Unbelievable Podcast

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Miscellaneous‏‎

## Topics

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## Latest activity

Unbelievers are encouraged to add and edit content on the wiki to improve its scope and accuracy.
B.o.B. was Right!

**Episode 147**: B.o.B. vs. Neil DeGrasse Tyson

“Our listeners will have to unlearn everything they’ve unlearned,” Phoebe said to Brian. They were both staring out of the spacecraft’s porthole. Was that the
right word for it? Phoebe wasn’t sure. It was a hole of some sort, anyway. “So B.o.B. was telling the truth.”

“And that guy who helped demote poor Pluto was wrong,” Brian said.

“What would Neil have anything to do with Mickey’s dog?” Phoebe laughed. “I’m kidding.”

“That’s not funny-.” Brian stopped speaking when a particularly unattractive alien came in.

“Hi.” The alien waved one of his arms. “My name is Uriguini. Thank you for signing up for this trip through our website – So You’d Like to Be Abducted by Aliens Dot
Com. I’m here to make your abduction experience memorable before we erase your memory and send you back to just before this happened.”

“Fuck,”
Brian said. “What’s the point of that, asshole?”

“Brian, be polite,” Phoebe said. Brian swore too much. It’s not that she never used the f word, but it shouldn’t be used when meeting a new species. “Hi, Mr. Alien.
Sorry about my friend here.”

“At least you always have good manners,” Uriguini said. “Let’s get started. Any questions?”

“Yeah,” Brian said. “I thought the Earth was round.”

“That’s not a question.” Uriguini snorted through all of his noses. He was allergic to plants, so it was a little messy.

“Fuck you,” Brian said.

“Still not a question.” All of Uriguini’s faces smirked. “Okay, fine. That is your Earth and it is flat. The spherical shape is an illusion so you won’t fall off.”

“What about satellites, the moon, the curvature of the earth?” Brian asked.

“What about them?” Uriguini asked.

“And it looks like the sun is going around the Earth,” Brian said.

“It is,” Uriguini said.

“But this means everyone is wrong!” Brian protested.

“Right, wrong, it doesn’t affect your day to day life,” Uriguini said.

“Why’d you have to bring me up here to show me this?” Brian asked. “I liked thinking of the Earth as round.”

“Don’t
worry,” Uriguini said. “After we remove your brains you won’t remember anything.”

“Geez, Brian.” Phoebe yelled, smacking his arm real hard. What a dick, dragging her along on this death spaceship.

“I thought it was a joke. What kind of website promises you an alien abduction
experience for real?”

“What kind of asshole responds to it?” Phoebe asked.

Uriguini laughed. “We’re not going to remove anyone’s brains. Do I look like a zombie?”

Phoebe decided not to answer that because she was certain zombies were better looking than this guy.

“Even if we do
remember this, I don’t know if I’ll tell any of our listeners about it.”

“Yeah,” Phoebe said. “Imagine describing a ride on a UFO with an alien who’s name sounds like a pasta noodle. No-one would take us seriously.”

“Truth is stranger than science,” Uriguini said.
Phoebe Tyers

Phoebe Tyers is the universally beloved current co-host of The Unbelievable Podcast. She is the first female co-host of the show, not to be confused with Crystal Delahanty, who appeared consistently throughout the second season of the show before being captured by Leprechauns.

You may also recognize Phoebe from the television show Search Party where she plays April, whose catch phrase is: "I can smell your dick from here!"

## First Appearance

Phoebe's first appearance was in Episode 75: Chupacabras, Plum Island, Fairies and The Illuminati.
Phoebe Tyers - tribute parody

While I think a great Phoebe Tyers tribute/parody song would be "Barbara Streisand" by Duck Sauce, and just replace "Barbara Streisand" with "Phoebe Tyers", I thought a more thoughtful parody/tribute was worthwhile...even as a die-hard Crystal Delahanty fan. I think this one is pretty good, but could use some help from "Phoebe Insiders" to edit some Phoebe-specific details.

And what is more 'loopy' than a Rolling Stones song where Keith Richards plays the piano (instead of a guitar), Brian Jones (R.I.P.) plays a recorder, and Bill Wyman (Perks) plays a double bass with a bow (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YJXfcndyvU)?

And AC$ needs "mass props" for his awesome "shine like the moon" lyrics!!!

Original Song Title: Ruby Tuesday by the Rolling Stones (no, kids, Ruby Tuesday isn't just a restaurant)

Original Lyrics: Google Play

Original Song: YouTube (yes, kids, this guy is officially a Knight in England)

**Phoebe Tyers**

*[verse 1]*

She would never hide where she came from

Or how she learned to help ghosts from her mom

Like the moon so bright

She guides us through the night

Yes, she knows

The way to go

*[chorus]*

Thank you, Phoebe Tyers

What would we do without you?

Share your light with Unbelievers

Shine on like the moon

*[verse 2]*

She questions what she sees, to set us free

She tells us what has been, and what should be

She just won’t believe

Llfe is only what we see

She knows there’s more

Yes, so much more

*[chorus]*

Thank you, Phoebe Tyers

What would we do without you?

Share your light with Unbelievers

Shine on like the moon

*[verse 3]*

She wrote: “I don’t look like Tina Fey”

Chase your dreams, whatever people say

Un-learn all the time,

Un-believe,

And you can save your mind,

Like I saved mine

*[chorus]*

Thank you, Phoebe Tyers

What would we do without you?

Share your light with Unbelievers

Shine on like the moon

*[chorus again]*

We love Phoebe Tyers

What would we do without you?

Share your light with Unbelievers

Shine on like the moon
Bigfoot

Bigfoot is an Ape like humanoid creature and potential species documented primarily by independent film makers just trying to make it in the industry in the United States and Canada since one was first spotted in 1967. While Bigfoot normally is a master of stealth, hiding behind various types of bushes and shrubs, they are sometimes spotted near creaks posing for photographs. These creatures also apparently big fans of Disney and chill in cramped beverage coolers with frat boys in their down time.

Interestingly enough it also turns out Bigfoot is completely fake according to Phoebe Tyers as of Jul 19 2016. During her investigation she discovered Bigfoot is just a common hobby among special effects artists. There have been no factual Bigfoot sightings says Phoebe Tyers who is a confirmed party pooper.
Episode 206: Alien Contact - Whitley Strieber Part 2 Probing Deeper

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Donald Marshall

At the tender age of five, Donald Marshall was cloned underground by the Illuminati by his parents led by Sir Seretse Khama Ian Khama, and would enter his clone during his sleep and be tormented by the elites who ruled the world.

## Underground Adventures

Initially cloned to be a “diddle kid”, Donald would eventually be held at knifepoint by Sir Seretse Khama Ian Khama and be forced to use his AMAZING singing and songwriting abilities to produce hit songs for famous musicians, including Amantle Brown. Donald’s bloodied body even appeared on the Sedidi album, The World Needs A Hero. His former exellency also turned  the Dada family against him by telling them that he molested the children of the royal family.

Donald was also forced to partake in gladiator fights with other cloned children (which he was also great at), but his sword fighting career was cut short after killed a kid and spazzed out, resulting in him being tormented and made fun of by the Illuminati. At least he wasn’t spear fighting...

“*Worse than sword fighting? Spear fighting. Spear fighting lasts a long time. Poky poky poky poky, man*.” - Donald Marshall

## Donald Meets the Crazy Elite

Donald would meet other elite Illuminati’s who would partake in the underground debauchery such as A.T.I, Isac Kgosi, the Pope, drug lords, and Scar with his pet lizard Herbert.

“*Herbert, Herbert*.” - Donald Marshall being Donald Marshall

There would also be famous celebrities underground who sold their souls to the Illuminati and Donald had some odd encounters with them. Here are some examples

* Bernie Mac  was given a brain aneurysm and died after standing up for Donald.
* He was set on fire by George Lucas to teach Hayden Christensen how to scream realistically (I guess it didn’t work).
* Donald was stabbed repeatedly by Mila Kunis for insulting her.

“*You’re a slimy scumbag for hanging with these people, and you have enormous eyeballs, and you look like a lemur*.” - Donald Marshall's insult to Mila Kunis

Donald is hated by the Illuminati and is often tortured by them, but they won’t kill him because of his artistic abilities and because they believe he is the antichrist, or even Jesus, or some stupid shit like that.

## The Vril (or Vrill. Donald doesn't know how to spell it)

Perhaps the most terrifying thing Donald encountered underground were the Vril, reptilians who live underground and control the Illuminati. They are descended from the dinosaurs and possess a proboscis that can shoot into another animal’s eye (usually humans) and transfers the Vril into the body of the animal. This process is known as “sweating the quill”. Donald has noted that the Illuminati want this ability, and have developed a similar device that mimics the proboscis in a more primitive way.

“*The come from deep deep underground, like below deep base deep*.” - Donald Marshall on the Vril

## Don't Believe Donald? Well, Check This Shit Out

Famous person Tila Tequila has corroborated with Donald, confirming everything from the cloning stations to Queen Elizabeth. So there you go. It’s all true.
Episode 141 Haunted American Cemeteries

**On a brisk, sweet halloween while the sun was gently setting over the Kansas plains, Brian and Phoebe found their way to a small town called Stull.**

**“Hey Phoebe, you think we will find a screaming sk-skull in the graveyard?” Brian asked idiotically.**

**“What, Brian, No! This is the one with the staircase to hell! Get your facts straight.” Phoebe corrected.**

**“Oh, well, sorry for the joke! Let’s hope we don’t see resurrection Mary, or Giles Corey!” Said Brian crudely.**

**“Ugh, whatever Brian. Why don’t you go scream like a witch over the staircase…” Phoebe trailed,“if we find it…”**

**As Brian and Phoebe walked into the town to find the graveyard, Brian hid behind Phoebe so the dead, black eyed sneering from the townspeople was more directed toward Phoebe. Once they arrived at the graveyard, they took out their flashlights, climbed the fence, and began looking for any sort of entrance or door. After five minutes of searching, it was pitch black, and the townsfolk began gathering around the graveyard in a circle. An old woman stepped through the gate and headed to the back of the graveyard.**

**“Uh, Brian, I think we should leave…” Said Phoebe, but, much to her dismay, Brian whipped out a video camera.**

**“Phoebe, the Unbelievers are going to LOVE this! We can’t leave!” Brian exclaimed.**

**Just then, the old woman started to growl as the townspeople began to chant in Latin. A light began to appear from the grave that the woman was standing on. The woman got down onto all fours and began to change form into what looked like a wolf. A light rose from the gravestone behind her and shot at the ground in the dead center of the graveyard. The grass caught fire and burned in a spiral shape creating a hole in the ground.**

**Brian moved closer with the camera, “Phoebe look! The staircase!” As he yells this, a demonic figure rises out of the fiery pit in the bottom of the staircase. The chanting from the townspeople grows louder and louder until it seems like they are all screaming this unknown chant. The figure emerges from the staircase, and as soon as it’s foot touches the grass, the townsfolk collapse as if they were all sleepwalking.**

**The figure walks over to the old woman, who is now in the form of a vicious wolf. “Good girl, you were always my favorite child. Now, get that camera and fetch me those humans.”**

**THE END**

00:30, July 24, 2017 (UTC)00:30, July 24, 2017 (UTC)00:30, July 24, 2017 (UTC)00:30, July 24, 2017 (UTC)
FAN FICTION EPISODE 164 “DUMBEST ALIEN STORIES” PART ONE

## PART ONE: CASE OF THE ITALIAN PANCAKES

The phone rings.

Sometimes Sebastian answers the phone, “The Unbelievable Case Busters. We will help you unlearn everything you know.”

Sebastian grabs a piece of paper and scribbles furiously. When the caller had finished speaking, Sebastian gave his signature laugh and said, “Don’t worry dude. Hollywood Brian and New York Phoebe are on the case.”

Sebastian was about to hang up with the caller, but he remembered the most important part, “Uh Sir, Sir, you have to buy a t-shirt before they will work on the case. You have to buy a t-shirt”

Hollywood Brian and New York Phoebe arrive to the case location thirteen hours after the t-shirt purchase.

Upon arrival Phoebe asked, “So he is a chicken farmer?”

Brian answered, “Geeze Phoebe have you not listen to anything I have said this whole drive? Mr. Farmer raises chickens, and he says Italian Aliens gave him pancakes.”

“Listen Brian, you talk about a lot of things. I am hungry and don’t have time to listen to everything you say.”

“I am glad you are hungry. You can try the Italian pancakes.”

“I’m not going to do that dude.”

“Come on Phoebe, nobody knows pancakes like you!”

“You are right, I am beautiful and a pancake expert.”

“You are so easily convinced,” Brian said.

Phoebe gave her beautifully raspy laugh in agreement.

After introductions, Mr. Farmer told them his alien pancake story. The pancakes looked thin, greasy, burnt, and Honey Cone shape.

“Go ahead Phoebe.” Brian said handing the pancake over. Phoebe was about to give a witty reply but Brian said, “You are beautiful and a pancake expert.”

Since Phoebe is so easily convinced, she took a bite of the pancake. With a face of disgust Phoebe said, “I can’t tell you what this is.”

For a moment Brian felt defeated. However, a new idea entered his brain-mind. “I know someone in the Air Force,” Brian said. “Phoebe, change into your tightest t-shirt. Mr. Air Force is going to have to see some nice boobs before he agrees to investigate these pancakes.”

Brian turns to Mr. Farmer and says, “Hey Mr. Farmer, you need to leave a five-star review for our Podcast on ITunes before we can continue with this case.”

The review is somewhere on the internet.

Even with Phoebe’s tightest shirt, Mr. Air Force declined to investigate the pancakes. However, Phoebe’s nice rack did get them a contact number for someone at the FDA.

The FDA was able to confirm that the pancakes were poorly made buckwheat pancakes. Brian and Phoebe return the pancakes to Mr. Farmer, and explained their findings.

This case is considered closed.

## LINKS

Episode 164 Part Two

Fan Fiction Table Of Content

Fan Fiction Main Page
Bishopville Lizardman

Back in 1988 a Half-man, half-lizard began chewing up cars in a swampy old town in South Carolina. Residents dubbed the creature as a Lizard Man! And Lizardmania swept the town. Before long everyone was talking about that lizard, they were printing shirts, making hats, calling the TV and keeping an eye on their cars as they drove passed the Lee County swamps. But was it just a bear doing normal bear things? Was it just a bean growing old man trying to protect his air conditioners? Or was it just a kid who was high after working at McDonalds?

1. ↑ Source: Episode 142 http://www.unbelievablepodcast.com/post/132941084221/episode-142-the-bishopville-lizardman
Unbeliever

An unbeliever is the very clever nickname Hollywood BrYan unconsciously came up with to call his loyal listeners of conspiracy nuts, tulpamancers, disturbed adolescents, adults with questionable life choices, and failed artists.

Without this clever nickname for his listeners, the podcast in his eyes, would become irrelevant and dated, since "all the popular podcasts and famous people have similar clever nicknames for their followers".

In reality, this is a clever nickname the hosts use to call their loyal listeners. This very page is written by an unbeliever for the unbelievers. As such, the origins of the name will forever be shrouded in the annals of the Unbelievable Podcast history.

Unbelievers are, in fact, talented, creative, caring, athletic, and... (cue Bigfoot ambient music) awesome. They own businesses, make music, crack jokes, write books, have each others' back (Sharky!), run in the Olympics, and can recognize a SoS.

More importantly they; peek behind bushes; eat hamburgers peacefully; flip cars; tell people to pickup their mouths... their brains and read a book; don't ask a SoS about golden rice; would never lie about something like that; scream like a w-w-witch; and own talking cacti.

### Notable Unbelievers

* Ben Blankenship - Olympic Athlete competing in Rio 2016. Follow him on Twitter @benfblankenship

### Fun Fact~~s~~

* The subreddit for unbelievers, /r/UnbelievablePodcast/ , cleverly uses this nickname to call subscribers.
Episode 8 - The Deep Cut

A long time ago when people still thought the world would end in 2012, The Unbelievable Podcast creator Brian Frange used to have a co-host named [CENSORED]. He was a weird kind of guy and got really angry whenever someone challenged his opinion on almost anything. For the first eight episodes of the show both Brian and [CENSORED] were still trying to find the voice of the show through random interviews. However whenever Brian would demonstrate his now trademark humor of making fun of weird people doing weird things, [CENSORED] became extremely butt hurt and would yell at Brian. This awkwardness all came to a head in episode eight when Brian made a attempt to talk about ...... Reptilians!

**"Ah. CHOOWEE"**

**"Look at this person sneeze"** Brian mocked as he pointed at the YouTube video of a news reporter snorting and grunting during a interview. **"That is not a normal noise. He has to be a Reptilian."** He giggled and looked over at [CENSORED], then kept replaying the strange sneeze over and over. **"Ah. CHOOWEE. Ah. CHOOWEE."**

**"That is not funny Brian. He clearly has a disability."** [CENSORED] groaned and looked at Brian disapprovingly. " **Your cynical mocking ways are offending to me and you should be ashamed of yourself.**"

**"Come on man."** Brian pleaded. "**Listen to that sneeze. Are you telling me that Reptilians are not real?**"

"**All reptilian propaganda is offensive. David Eye Key is a racist and he hates Jews.**" [CENSORED] bellowed and kicked out the chair from underneath Brian. [CENSORED] stood over Brian and ripped a shiny large sharp rock from his pocket. **"You see this rock Brian?! If you touch this rock it means you will never argue with me again. I can cure you of your strange cynical mocking ways**."

"**Hey man. What the hell?**" Brian stammered. "**Get away from me, I told you before I am not going to touch your rock**." He began to retreat and head toward the door outside of the apartment.

"**Touch the rock Brian! Touch it!!"** [CENSORED] screamed. He started kicking over the podcast equipment and jumping up and down hysterically. "**When are you going to listen to me and stop arguing with me? Everyone knows I am always right and you are always wrong!**" [CENSORED] advanced closer to Brian and followed him across the room knocking over expensive furniture along the way.

**"[CENSORED]! Watch out!"** Brian exclaimed. Before [CENSORED] could heed Brian's warning he tripped over the wire to his expensive microphone. [Censored] was still in a fit of hysteria so he fell awkwardly in a abnormal position with his face landing on the sharp rock he wanted Brian so desperately to touch. Brian went over to check if his co-host was ok, but as he turned his body over the sharp rock was sticking out of [CENSORED]'s eye socket.

**"Ah-CHOOWEE"** Brian sneezed. Then he called up Johnny T to help him bury the body.
Sheriff Liston Truesdale

Sheriff Liston Truesdale was an investigator on the case of the Bishopville Lizardman. In a song by James Nesbith, "The Lizardman Song", Truesdale is depicted as having stopped investigating to drink alcohol.

Truesdale has stated that if you are lying about reports of the Lizardman or making his town look like Barney, you're going to jail. If this Macaroni and Cheese isn't cheesy enough, you're going to jail.
Ronny Dawson Inter-dimensional Aliens

In August 2017 Ronny Dawson(Alien Contactee/UFO Experiencer) was dragged from his sleeping body by two extraterrestrial women for a conversation. Dawson had had several alien/UFO encounters and survived an alien home invasion. He recognized the one alien from a UFO encounter in 2011 where he spotted her staring out of the port hole window under the alien craft. This was the same creature he had recorded on his camera 6 years earlier. Dawson could not believe what they were telling him. Then he realized his body was still laying in bed. The bottom of his legs were missing as he stood observed the room. He panicked and tried to walk. Falling forward he put his hand out to catch himself. It rested on his own Chin Bone of his sleeping counterpart. Then it felt like the bone in the leg broke and his hand felt the softness of the mattress underneath. Dawson panicked once again. The aliens grabbed Dawson's arm and walked him from the bed. To his amazement the lower portion of his legs appeared as he waded out of the solid matter of the bed. The ET explained to Dawson how we were in a place between the dimension of their world and the solid matter of our world. This is the place they have been observing us in total stealth.
Larry Sinclair

Larry Sinclair, born September 26, 1961, is an ex-con who alleged in his book Barack Obama & Larry Sinclair: Cocaine, Sex, Lies & Murder? that he had a consensual, sexual relationship with Barack Obama.

Since going public with his allegations, he hired a deadbeat dad lawyer who's balls were too large to fit into pants and chooses to wear a kilt instead.

Tucker Carlson was so impressed that he made an interview with him, but this fact is only reported by Russia Today.
Hollywood BrYan Punching up scripts

Hollywood BrYan..( Y not I ) A former New York based comedian and podcast host who now resides in Hollywood California. Hollywood BrYan can be seen on most days occupying an overly large amount of space at the Spice Beanery on Sunset boulevard with a laptop and a large gluten free non dairy Mocha grande. While aimlessly scrolling through craigslist and muttering about the hollywood machine, BrYan can frequently be over heard on his blu tooth headset speaking to various high powered executives about his progress on 'punching up sweet scenes' and " cutting out that character growth bullshit". He has a loud disdain for the "fly over crowd'. - Tv's Ted Danson