Jarrett Tastybiscuit

*"Watch where you point that arrow."*

## About

Jarrett is the leader and most famous member of the Legion of Dööm. After many amazing and wondrous adventures he decided to settle down for a simple life as a Lord of Rutch. His skills as a healer and alchemist are second only to Rodcet Nife, and Jarrett is quickly closing that gap as well. He is currently a founding member of the Wingmen.

## Recent Accomplishments

Slew a griffon with only one bolt - Griffonslayer

Slew a shiver of sharks with his bare hands - Sharkslayer

Saved Lord Tuber and Lady Llewlyn - Hero of Seacrest

Saved High Lord Gage from Golden Bolt while healing his arm - Savior of Silverpoint

Turned the orcs raiding Toltus into piles of ash - Ashmaker

Lead an attack to kill Ragnaros during the Dark Iron Purge - Ironbreaker

Destroyed WarMech in the Brilliant Catacombs - Decommissioner

Married the beautiful and heroic paladin Lady Shilana - Ladybiscuit

Helped the sailors when he slew the great black dragon, Onyxia - Master Mariner

Won the Loxly Games - Loxly Game Hero

Brought the Black Snake guild to justice - Constable of Mantua

Received fan letters - Lord Leveler

Father to Jarrett Jr. and Jarrett the Third in Karameikos - Father

Has multiple product lines - Tastyaid, Tasty Biscuits, Tasty Busts, Tasty Brand Garden Tools, Jarrett's Elixirs and Tastybraids.

Has multiple books based on his tales - *Of Mice and Biscuits, The Tastybiscuits Guide to the Galaxy, Jarret Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Jarrett and Juliet, Jarrett Tastybiscuit and the Sorcerers Stone, To Kill a Tastybiscuit,* and *Tastybiscuit of Oz*

Gave a powerful best man speech at Lord Martell's and Gnilon's wedding - Ho ho ho

Earned 500 Gold (and a necklace!) for the opportunity for one lucky lady to go to a party with him.

## Past Accomplishments

While we have been privy to Jarrett's current works, his history obviously doesn't start with the Legion of Dööm. Mortals tell all kinds of stories of his wondrous past.

-He single-handedly took the one Ring of Power to Mount Doom to have it destroyed, saving all of our fair races of people.

-Using his wit in the arcane magics he was able to kill Lord Voldemort, aka He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, by destroying all seven pieces of the wicked wizard's soul.

-He was able to gather a group of heroes, a thief, an archer, a shield-expert, a iron golem, and a green half-giant. They formed a group called the 'Avengers' and stopped an evil demi-god from threatening all of humanity.

-He was able to put his city planning skills to work and make a hexagon based community more prosperous than ever where rolls of 6's and 8's earned all of the sheep and wheat the people could ever need. In doing so he banished the evil Lincoln brothers.

-He was the founding member of a group of rag-tag heroes, made up of an animated scarecrow, iron golem and a lion Jarrett tamed. They later went off to defeat the wicked witch of the West and East.

-Led a resistance of 'merry men' to fight back the corrupt King John, lower taxes on the needy and return the poor box.

-Once, when he was a lion, he defeated his uncle and reclaimed the savanna back from the jackals who stole it from his father.

-4 foot penis, when erect (and flaccid?)

-Cured AIDS and cancer with his own blend of pipe weed.

-Led a rebellion against an evil Empire and at the last minute was able to destroy the ancient artifact, 'The Death Star'.

-In modern day Philadelphia Jarrett was chosen to fight the legendary Apollo Creed in a boxing match; while Jarrett didn't win the fight, he did learn a lesson about 'going the distance'. I'm just kidding, he beat the hell out of Apollo Creed with one punch to the X on his stomach.

-After the death of his parents he became a crime fighter and helped stop super-villains such as The Jester, Bane, Mr. Riddles and the Mistress of Cats.

-He and 300 other Jarrett's fought back the entire Persian from invading the country of Greece.

-After he found the holy grail he added it to his kitchen, finally completing his set.

-Went to the alternate world 'Wonderland' to find a lost girl named Alice. After finding the girl he met the Queen of Hearts who instantly threw herself at him so he banged her.

-Stopped the grand warlock Garland from using the four elemental powers of nature to destroy the world.

-Showed the Grinch the meaning of the season, making his heart grow three sizes thanks to his alchemy.

-After these last two events, he used what he learned to temporarily become Captain Planet to defend those who couldn't.

-He made unobtainium easily obtainable.

-One time, in Ymir, Jarrett fought John Cena in a duel. When he killed him he decapitated him and drank the juices. All in the name of Polychrome.

-When developing a tavern game he created the system that he would later sell to Gary Gygax and become what we know as Dungeons & Dragons. Later, Jace and Brent would take that system and make Wilsons & Wyvrens, thus creating yet another world for Jarrett to be wondrous in.

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