Episode 13

## Video

This is the second episode of the Fairy Dance Arc, and the thirteenth episode of Sword Art Online Abridged overall.

## Plot

One day, in Okachimachi, Kazuto arrives at Tiffany's bar, the Dicey Cafe. As soon as he's in the door, Kazuto proceeds to rant about his trip, as the bar was located in a labyrinth-like neighborhood. Tiffany doubts that the journey was that bad, seeing how Kazuto managed to find the bar, but Kazuto states that it took him an entire day to do so, and he had to climb through the window of an old woman named Chiyo in the process. Tiffany is familiar with Chiyo and asks how she's doing, to which Kazuto informs him that she gave him some cookies to give Tiffany. This makes Tiffany happy and voices his love for the old woman, which Kazuto agrees with, as her kindness is a nice detraction for his "SEETHING, IMPOTENT RAGE!". Tiffany then asks if the trip was really that bad, to which Kazuto explains that he's only complaining about it to vent his frustrations over how his life has become a "multi-headed dick hydra" and knows that Tiffany can handle it. Though confused by this, Tiffany thanks Kazuto for letting him be his shoulder to yell at, causing Kazuto to say that he treasures their friendship. Seeing how wound-up Kazuto is, Tiffany reaches behind the bar and gives him a copy of ALfheim Online, the newest VRMMO on the market. Confused, Kazuto asks him what the game is, to which Tiffany responds that it's "everything you're looking for".

Eventually, Kazuto calms down and apologizes for his outburst. Tiffany understands, however, and offers him a drink. Kazuto asks for some water, but Tiffany can't afford it and offers one of the few drinks he can afford instead, a borderline toxic drink called "9-Up" that Tiffany needs to boil until it's brown so it's safe to consume. Disturbed by this, Kazuto changes the subject by asking about ALO. Tiffany explains that it's a kid's game for the AmuSphere that came out a year ago but has only recently gained popularity. Kazuto asks what an AmuSphere is, to which Tiffany explains that "It's a new NerveGear that promises it's not a NerveGear but is backwards-compatible with NerveGear", a description that that disappoints Kazuto. Tiffany then explains that the game is meant to be an edutainment game, but box doesn't really make that clear. This prompts Kazuto to read the game's description, only to find it's a confusingly worded mess that promises such contradictory info as "teaching kids how to share" and "teaching them to wipe out their enemies", making Kazuto wonder who the game is for. Tiffany agrees that it seems like the target audience is the cast of Lord of the Flies, but explains that once people actually tried the game, they became addicted to its flight mechanic and the game became a hit.

Kazuto then briefly gets distracted by the potential awesomeness of the game's flight mechanic, only snapping back to reality when Tiffany asks him not to make him beg Kazuto to save his "klansman of a wife". Tiffany then tells Kazuto that the photo of Asuna he sent him was one of many. He explains that, at the center of ALO, there's giant tree called the World Tree, which players are usually unable to reach the top of due to the game having a time limit on flying. However, a group of players got curious and managed to exploit the flight mechanic long enough to reach the branches. The players then spotted Asuna in the tree and took the pictures, sharing them on message boards, which is where Tiffany saw them. Kazuto and Tiffany then come to the conclusion that someone has trapped Asuna in ALO.

Kazuto then sees that the game was made by RECT Progress and voices his delight over this revelation. Tiffany initially agrees, as he's happy that Asuna has been trapped, but then gets confused why Kazuto would be happy about this. Kazuto explains that the man that's trying to marry Asuna, Nobuyuki Sugou, works for the company. Tiffany comments on this coincidence, but Kazuto declares this is fate, as now he gets to be a badass again and screw over Sugou, all while saving Asuna. Tiffany then cheers Kazuto on, although he isn't sure about that last part. Kazuto then downs his 9-Up and thanks Tiffany for giving him this opportunity, declaring that he's coming for Sugou. However, due to toxic nature of the drink, he becomes violently sick and vomits on a nearby jukebox, much to Tiffany's dismay.

Sometime later, Suguha is sitting on her house's porch, humming a melody to herself. Once she realizes what she's doing, she gets embarrassed and stuffs a muffin in her face. Kazuto then arrives home and is annoyed to see Suguha, asking himself why he came in the back door. Suguha tries to make a joke about Kazuto's poor choice of words but starts choking on the muffin as a result. As she chokes, she thinks that if she eats a second muffin it'll dislodge the first. Meanwhile, Kazuto sees this as an opportunity to let Suguha die and end his suffering. However, he ends up subconsciously saving her by handing her a juice box. Once she catches her breath, Suguha chastises Kazuto for his slow rescue, asking what he would've told their mom if she died. Kazuto then jokes that he would've told her they can convert Suguha's room into a room for the jacuzzi she's always wanted, a statement that offends Suguha. Regardless, Kazuto proclaims that her potential death doesn't matter because he has a date with destiny. Hearing this, Suguha tries provoking Kazuto by making it sound like he's talking about a camgirl. Kazuto ignores this, however, as he's so happy about the potential good things coming his way, drowning out her jokes by singing as he enters the house. Suguha then calls Kazuto a dumbass before chocking on her muffin again.

In his room, Kazuto uses his NerveGear to play the copy of ALO Tiffany gave him, trying to hide his excitement before he dives in. Upon booting up the game, Kazuto is immediately greeted by an annoying log in screen, which talks to him like a pre-schooler, while an annoyingly cheery melody plays on repeat in the background. Kazuto tells himself to bear with it, as tutorials are always like this, and tries to enter his username, Kirito. However, he finds out that not only has it been taken, but so has most of its variations. After many failed attempts to sign in, Kazuto ends up with the name "xVx\_K1r1t0\_xVx\_KillMe" and is on the verge of madness. When confronted with option of picking and customising a fairy race to play as, Kazuto makes his avatar a default Spriggan just to make the whole thing end faster. Just when Kazuto thinks it can't get any worse, he finds out that the game is published by Ubisoft as the log in sequence wraps up, causing him to let out a scream of anguish.

Kirito then spawns into the game and finds himself falling through air above his race's starting zone. Just as he starts getting excited about the game, and is about to test the game's flight mechanic, he suddenly stops in midair. Though confused at first, a black void appears before Kirito and he starts falling into it, annoying him that ALO is just as broken as Sword Art Online. He then lands face first into the ground in the middle of a Dungeon called the Ancient Forest, nowhere near his starting zone. Luckily, he hardly feels the pain from the fall, causing him to remember that the game is for kids. Kirito then hops to his feet and tries to open his menu. However, it doesn't pop up. He then starts to panic over the idea of being trapped in another game, only to find out that the menu is summoned by his other hand, disgusting Kirito that the game has inverted controls as the default.

He then looks through his menu and finds that all his stats from SAO have been carried over into this game. This delights Kirito, as the game's brokenness has benefited him, but soon finds out that most of his weapons and items are corrupted. Kirito isn't too bothered by this at first, but suddenly start panicking when he realizes that this might mean the item he put Yui in got corrupted too. Luckily, after scrolling through his menu, he finds that her item isn't one of the corrupted ones and tries to summon it, which ends up spawning Yui into the game, much to his shock. Kirito becomes overjoyed to see Yui again, unable to find the words to convey his happiness, and the two hug, with Yui saying that she missed him too. Yui then asks if he liked her joke, something that confuses Kirito.

Yui reveals that the system was never going to delete her and she faked death as a joke, much to Kirito's shock. Yui explains that she was worried that Kirito and Asuna would view her differently after discovering she was an AI, thus she decided to humanize herself with "clever witticisms" by pretending to die. However, Yui admits that she didn't predict how emotionally devastating this would be for her parents, much to Kirio's chagrin. Yui then reveals that she planned to reveal she was alright once the two left the Safe Room, but because of Kirito's "rescue" attempt, she became trapped in the item, where they were unable to hear her begging to be let out. Yui tells Kirito that she was forced to watch him and Asuna move on without her and sunk into a depression, due to being in a similar state to before she met them. But more importantly, Yui is upset that Kirito ruined her joke. Hearing this tale, Kirito decides to reveal a secret of comedy to Yui that most people don't know about, "Bad things aren't funny when they happen to daddy". Yui then asks what about Asuna, to which Kirito gives her full permission to "go for the throat".

This causes Kirito to remember why he's there and tells Yui that someone has trapped Asuna in the game, and they only have a week to save her. With her family dynamic under threat, Yui scans the entire ALO server and tracks down Asuna's location, calculates a period of arrival in the process. Before Kirito can express his concern for her change in attitude, Yui turns herself into a Pixie, as it's more aerodynamic than her default form, before asking Kirito if he has anymore stupid questions. Worried, Kirito asks Yui to calm down, telling her that he wants to save Asuna just as much as she does, if not more. However, he retracts that last statement when Yui growls at him. Regardless, Kirito tells Yui they can't just fly off when they don't know anything about the game, particularly because he doesn't know how to fly yet. Kirito then gets confused by the fact that he somehow ended up saying "Gee willikers" in this statement. Unfortunately for Kirito, Yui misunderstands his comment, and proceeds to activate Kirito's wings for him and sends him flying before he can tell her to stop.

Meanwhile, a Sylph player named Leafa is being cornered by group of three Salamanders, led by a General who commends her for evading them for so long. However, he informs her that they are out of patience and that she's out of options. With nowhere for Leafa to go, one Salamander asks her to strip for them and the other starts chucking mayonnaise at her. Leafa then begs the Salamanders not to take her innocence, as she's saving it for Prince Cazmer, and if she loses it, war will rage once more in the Sylph Realm, and begs for their mercy. However, the General gets confused by the fact that Leafa is crying for help while in a perfect battle stance. Leafa denies this, claiming that she but a humble maiden, taken from the streets and adopted by the kind Queen Sakuya, and has never held a blade in her life. However, she soon runs out of poetic descriptions for how weak she is.

Annoyed, the General calls a character break, revealing the encounter to be a roleplay session. The General starts criticizing Leafa's contradictory character, as she's acting like a helpless damsel while also giving off the aura of a battle-hardened veteran. Leafa apologizes for ruining their fun, claiming that "old habits die hard". The General states that this type of attitude is why he hates the Sylph players, as they don't put in the work and ruin the fantasy for everyone else. He then states that he had a long hard shift at the soup kitchen, and all he wants to do is come home and play as a sexually predatory general named "PantySmasher", asking Leafa to give him that for ten minutes. One of the Salamanders, whose name was DeezGunz, then interjects and says, back in character, that PantySmasher would only last about two minutes. Amused by this remark, PantySmasher uses it as an example of how to roleplay, before asking Leafa what her character wants in this situation. Leafa is confused by such a vaguely general question and says that she doesn't want to get raped, an answer that doesn't satisfy PantySmasher.

However, this attempt at assault is halted when Kirito comes crashing to the ground in front them. Kirito chastises Yui for making him fly without permission, only to be embarrassed when he realizes he's being watched. He then tries to play cool and asks what's going on, but the Salamanders tell him to leave, as they have "dibs" on Leafa. Though confused by the Salamanders' personas, comparing them to a weird mixture of Deliverance and Peter Pan, Kirito asks Leafa if she needs his help. Leafa sees as the perfect opportunity to perfect her persona and accepts Kirito's offer, telling him to save her from the "ill-mannered ruffians". PantySmasher then voices his pride in Leafa's improvement, telling her that she just needs to ask herself the right questions and her character will write itself. However, everyone is caught off guard when Kirito takes to this opportunity to kill one of the Salamanders, whose name was Keith. With PantySmasher heartbroken by Keith's death and Leafa shocked by how fast the Spriggan is, Kirito remarks how it's "good to be home".

## Cast

* **YamatoSFX:** Kazuto Kirigaya/xVx\_K1r1t0\_xVx\_KillMe
* **Octopimp:** Tiffany
* **LennonDrake:** Suguha Kirigaya
* **Coffinjockey:** ALfheim Announcer
* **redasatomato:** Yui
* **BlazingAzureCrow:** General PantySmasher
* **MrBuddyVA:** DeezGunz
* **FrozenFrost:** Keith

## Music

* **Greek Fire:** "A Real Life"
* **Sword Art Online Original Soundtrack vol.2:** "In Time of Peace"
* **Florian Mohr:** "Taylor Swift - Shake It Off - Piano & Bass Instrumental Cover"
* **TheJTProjectTV:** "Katy Perry - Chained To The Rhythm (Instrumental VersionJazz Version)"
* **R.J. Ronquillo Guitar:** "RJ Ronquillo "Timber" instrumental (Pitbull ft. Ke$ha) blues jazz guitar"
* **Gurren Lagann (Original Soundtrack):** "Is It Okay Just to Get Fired Up"
* **Songs From Barbie: Fairytopia:** "I'm Flying"
* **The Seven Deadly Sins (Original Soundtrack) 2:** "Pure Love"
* **Bravely Default Flying Fairy Original Soundtrack:** "Overture to Hope", "Beneath the Hollow Moon", "Cave of Darkness"
* **A Hat in Time (Original Game Soundtrack):** "Goodbye Everyone"
* **Xenoblade Original Soundtrack:** "Daily Life"
* **Busou Renkin Original Soundtrack:** "Giwaku"
* **Fairy Tail Original Sound Collection**: "Dragon Raishuu"
* **Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The Game (Original Videogame Soundtrack):** "Love Rising"

## Differences from the Original

The following is a list of differences *only* from this episode. To view any differences for the characters, view their pages, or if you want to see more click here.

* Kazuto doesn't have any trouble finding the Dicey Cafe. He therefore doesn't use that as an excuse to vent about how his life is going.
* The drink Andrew offers isn't a "9-Up", it's a cup of coffee.
	+ It's never stated that 9-Up needs to be boiled until it's brown unless it would be "hella toxic".
* ALO's description isn't a jumbled mess that barely describes what it's like, nor does it have a message from the guy who wrote it talking about how his wife left him that wasn't edited out.
* Due to the fact Andrew doesn't hate Asuna, he isn't reluctant to tell Kazuto about her. In fact, he encourages him to rescue her.
* Kazuto and Andrew's fist bump is skipped.
* Kazuto doesn't vomit on Andrew's jukebox.
* Suguha isn't humming "I'm Flying" from Barbie Fairytopia before Kazuto returns.
	+ The same song doesn't play during ALO's character creator.
* Suguha doesn't try to eat a second muffin to dislodge the first.
* Kazuto isn't tempted to let Suguha choke to death.
* Kazuto thanking Suguha for cheering him up and telling her he'll get Asuna back no matter what, prompting Suguha says she's looking forward to meeting her, is skipped.
	+ Kazuto doesn't sing "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves.
* Kazuto isn't excited to be a video game badass again, he's too worried about Asuna.
* Kirito doesn't briefly have a panic attack when he thinks he can't open his menu.
	+ The part where Kirito checks to see if the log out button is missing is skipped.
	+ Kirito isn't disgusted by the "inverted controls".
* Kirito doesn't briefly forget about Yui.
* In the original, Kirito summons Yui's Heart first and then summons her by touching it. In the abridged version, Yui is summoned straight away.
* Kirito isn't so overjoyed to see Yui again that he can barely form a sentence.
* Yui did not fake her death to "lighten to mood", nor did she beg for help while in the jewel Kirito made.
* The part where Yui explains to Kirito that ALO was copied from SAO, and why he has some of his old Skills, is skipped.
	+ The part where Kirito deletes all his corrupted items and Skills, including his Dual Blades Skill, is also skipped.
* Yui doesn't turn into a Navigation Pixie because it was more convenient for her, she changed because that's what the game recognized her as.
	+ The part where Kirito pokes Yui is skipped.
* Yui doesn't summon Kirito's wings and send him flying. He summons them himself and tries to learn how to use them with Yui's help.
* A fight between Leafa and the Salamanders is skipped.
* None of the Salamanders chuck mayonnaise at Leafa.
* Kagemune doesn't break character so he can lecture Leafa on how to roleplay better.
	+ Leafa doesn't use Kirito as a means to better portray her character.
* In the original, Yui senses that players are nearby, and Kirito goes to help them, which is how Kirito meets Leafa. In the abridged version, he just happens to crash land near the ambush.
* The part where a Salamander attacks Kirito, only for Kirito to catch the lance with his bare hand and throw the Salamander into the other soldier, is skipped.

## Trivia

* The name of Tiffany's jukebox is a reference to Pitbull, as one of his nicknames is Mr. Worldwide.
	+ This is backed up by the fact that a rendition of one of his songs, Timber, was playing on the Jukebox at the time.
* The lines of code in Yui's eyes reveal several details:
	+ ALO has at least 3396 active players.
	+ Heathcliff's account was transferred to ALO as well.
	+ The distance from the Ancient Forrest to the World Tree is 500 kilometers.
	+ Yui plans to kill Oberon.