Hummer Guy vs Turbo

Wiz:Ah yes transportation it really is the way to go

Boomstick:But uh let me give ya some advice NEVER DRIVE WITH THESE TWO IDIOTS

Wiz:Hummer Guy a guy that has a strong passion for of course his hummer

Boomstick:And Turbo a racer that jumped games and went under the name King Candy He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons and abilities to find out who would win a Death Battle

Hummer Guy

Boomstick:Look at all those Hummers Wiz what kindve jerk would drive one of those

Wiz:Hummer Guy that's who

Boomstick:Heh now there's a pretty stupid name

Wiz:Stupid name or not you probably shouldn't mess with him you see the cutaway may only last around 20 seconds but there's actually quite a bit to cover about this reckless driver

Boomstick:Is it the fact he even drives a hummer

Wiz:Very much so you see Hummers are twice the size of regular cars given the fact that Hummer Guys able to straight up crush other cars without messing himself up in the process he would have to have a very tough hummer possibly tougher than any other

Boomstick:But does he even do anything else

Wiz:Well I don't think you understand how strong Hummers even are they are strong enough to rip someone to shreds when being ran over and not to mention the fact that Hummer Guys a really sloppy driver

Boomstick:But Wiz how exactly does this give him any power by any means

Wiz: Because he's not just any old Hummer Driver hes the Hummer GUY

Boomstick:So he's basically a Death Race Fighter

Wiz: Basically yeah

Turbo

Wiz: Welcome to the Video Game Superverse youve just walked into your first game Sugar Rush

Boomstick:Blegh Wiz this games a little too sweet for my taste

Wiz:What No wait really

Boomstick:Yeah I mean where are all the racers

Wiz:You mean these racers

Boomstick:Woah

Wiz:Yes these racers are under the rule of the rightful ruler of Sugar Rush King Candy however he was not always in this game

Boomstick:Let's just say he hopped the border out of his own game and into this one and he was a much uglier looking racer before

Wiz:This racer goes by the name of Turbo the greatest racer ever

Boomstick:Damn ego much

Wiz:Now Turbo is the physical personification of a Videogame Villain stopping at nothing to prove that he is top racer

Boomstick:And Turbo is definitely very quick having a race car that goes over 700 miles per hour that's about as quick as my Dad beat me with his belt when he saw my bad grades because ya get it my Dad beat my ass faster than li-

Wiz: Anyways Turbo has even been proven to be a glitch himself switching off between back to his Turbo Form back to his King Candy form

Boomstick:Dang how do you suppose he gets a girl with both those forms

Wiz:You see Turbo has also fallen victim to the scybugs however this only made him more powerful as now he was himself a giant scybug that can crush anything in its path

Boomstick: However it was very short lived as one falling mentor caused an explosion which Turbo got forced into kinda cooler than the science project honestly

Wiz:Turbo will try whatever he can to become worlds best racer he is the driver that is quicker than any and is also really powerful and he will leave you afraid in his scybug form he is Turbo the greatest racer ever

Boomstick:woah well carry on then hehehe

Pre-Fight

Wiz: Alright the combatants are set weve run the data through all possibilities

Boomstick:It's time for a...race!? Honestly it doesn't seem much like a Death Battle anym-

Death Battle

The Sugar Rush race is about to begin the timer counts down 3 2 1 go and their off with each racer making a huge start it was neck and neck and looking to be a great race King Candy obviously taking a huge lead then all of the sudden a guy in a Hummer raced onto the track

Hummer Guy:Dude this car kicks ass and I can watch Madagascar while I'm driving

Madagascar plays on Hummer Guys screen

Alex:What kinda music do you like Gloria

Gloria:Hippo Hop

Gloria starts doing the GoAnimate dance

Gloria:Woohoo yeah baby

Hummer Guy: Hahahaha dude these animals are so f---ing funny they make me wanna merge without looking

Hummer Guy then merges into one of the nearby racers and kills them by crushing both the racer and the car Hummer Guy then raises his arm in triumph

Hummer Guy:Yeah Rumsfeld!!

All the other racers saw this and screamed as they sped off trying to outrun the Hummer Guy but the Driver caught up with them and Crushed 3 more people with his Hummer

Hummer Guy: Hahahaha

King Candy heard noises behind him but he tried not to let it get to him then Hummer Guy in one swift movement crushed every last racer except for King Candy and they all wiped out Mario Kart style

Hummer Guy:Rumsfeld!!

King Candy finally looks behind him

King Candy: Alright what's all this commotion abou-

Hummer Guy:Hahahaha

Fight!

King Candy then sped up as fast as he could as Hummer Guy followed

King Candy:aaaahhhhhh

King Candy and Hummer Guy went up a hill and around a whirly turn

King Candy:This racer is crazy somebody help

Suddenly scybugs started invading sugar rush through a tear in the fabric of the universe they then began terrorizing Sugar Rush meanwhile Hummer Guy was still chasing King Candy they went into the snowy mountains

King Candy:What do you want from me

Hummer Guy raises his arm in the air

Hummer Guy:Rumsfeld!!

King Candy looks in confusion

King Candy:Rum-what

Hummer Guy then attempts to ram King Candy and crush him against a wall but the King just barely drifts out causing Hummer Guy to crash into the wall King Candy quickly drives into the cave as an attempted escape he then looks behind him but doesn't see the Hummer Guy

King Candy:Phew I think I lost him

Then all of the sudden through the roof of the cave Hummer Guy came out and was about to land on King Candy before he quickly drove out of the way the racers were now right next to eachother Hummer Guy then slowly started to crush King Candy against a wall which made him glitch into Turbo he then ripped away from Hummer Guy causing the reckless driver to crash into the wall again Turbo then started speeding off

Turbo:Turbo Tastic

Turbo was almost out of the cave but he accidentally drove into an incoming sybugs mouth Hummer Guy then attempted to ram the sybug but it quickly flew away before Hummer Guy dropped back on the track he saw the finish line and was about to win before a giant King Candy Sybug dropped down in front of him

King Candy Sybug:Going somewhere you lunatic racer

Hummer Guy trys to ram King Candy but he stops him and lifts him up he then grabs Hummer Guy out of the Hummer and squishes the hummer

King Candy Sybug:Here let's see if you can fly

He then tossed Hummer Guy into the air and caught him on his way back down he repeated this several times until eventually Hummer Guy got fed up and punched King Candy in the face on his way back down he then jumped off of King Candy's stomach and took off running but King Candy was much faster he quickly grabbed Hummer Guy again and ripped him apart he then devoured his remains like any other scybug before scrunching his face

King Candy Scybug:Blegh too jerkyish for my liking

K.O!

Boomstick:Well I guess this race technology holds no winner as it pretty much stops after awhile

Wiz:Now this outcome should be no surprise given how much more power the King had against Hummer Guy

Boomstick:Turbo wasn't losing for sh-t that Sybug practically left Hummer Guy dead in the water with no way of retaliation

Wiz:Now there could've potentially been a way for Hummer Guy to somehow break the Mento tower and cause the lava that emerges from it to kill Turbo

Boomstick:But that would mean that he would need his Hummer which he clearly isn't getting back anytime soon

Wiz:Even with Hummer Guys Hummer going incredibly fast Turbo was still able to go faster and in return it led to Hummer Guys Demise

Boomstick:King Candy litarally has the power to alter code and mess with the videogame universes Hummer Guy litarally acts like a child whenever he sees dancing animals on screen so yeah wouldn't you know it the drivers dead

Wiz:The Hummer Guy gave his best shot but Turbos speed and smarts are what put him above

Boomstick:Dude Hummer Guy getting eaten is so f---ing funny it makes me wanna make a bad pun without hesitation

Wiz:The winner is Turbo

Next Time

Werner Werman

Vs

Herbert the Pervert