The Great Mighty Poo

## **Biography**

### **Early Life**

**The Great Mighty Poo** was a giant turd, that came into existence when Gar had to take a huge crap due to constipation. For some reason, Gar decided to give the poop the ability to think for itself, and even let the Great Mighty Poo have his own planet. This planet was named Doo Doo Land.

When the giant poop arrived to his newly gifted planetary body, the first thing he did was conquer it, enslaving millions and killing many more. Whenever his conquest was done, he forced his slaves to build Poo Mountain for him, a process that lasted centuries and required that each slave take massive poops and shovel it all on a gargantuan mound of feces.

While the slaves did produce a lot of the unsightly structure, the main bulk of it came from the very own anus of the Great Mighty Poo, which of course he made the slaves shovel even that without remorse. After the completion of the mountain of poo, the tyrant crap took his mantle on the poop throne, which would start a long reign of terror.

### **Origin of the Hutts**

With thousands of years of rule under his belt, the Great Mighty Poo was growing tired of the mundane life of ruling as Emperor of doo doo land. He wanted enforcers to do his bidding for him, so he called out to Gar and asked of him to grant sentience to his own poops. Oddly enough, Gar complied and gave the Great Mighty Poo the ability to crap living beings.

The Great Mighty Poo decided to call these vile creatures the Hutts, and he sent all throughout Doo Doo land in addition to other planets to spread the word of poo, and to enforce his rule. For 1,000 years, the Hutts did the bidding of the Great Mighty Poo without question, that all ended abruptly when a contingent of Hutts invaded a planet in which Fred happened to be playing poker  at. Fred, enraged at having his game of cards disturbed, set out to destroy all the Hutts there. He killed them all slowly and mercilessly, all but one, for he interrogated that Hutt as to the location of his boss. After the hutt conceded the location of his boss, Fred launched him into the system's local star, incinerating the unlucky being.

### **Fred goes to town**

Following many hours of murdering Hutts throughout the Galaxy, Fred finally decided to bring his ire to the source, which delivered him to Doo Doo Land. When Fred reached Poo Mountain, he quickly dispatched of all the forces guarding the stronghold. Whenever Fred arrived in the domain of the tyrannical turd, the Great Mighty Poo was in the middle of brutally beating a female slave for taking to long in delivering his evening meal. Fred rescued the woman and rather than ending the Great Mighty Poo, he decided to let him live out the rest of his days in a toilet that also functioned as a prison. Fred took the woman and banged her halfway to china.

### **Imprisonment and Underworld dealings**

The Great Mighty Poo spent many long millennia as prisoner within the magically conjured toilet in which he was confined. During that time, to keep himself occupied, he practiced the art of opera singing, eventually becoming quite spectacular at it. However, due to his situation, he never had an audience. Although he was ultimately a prisoner, he was still able to have underworld dealings because he could sometimes travel in the sewer tunnels.

After many more years of petty business with the underworld, he was eventually visited by a gang of thugs from the dreaded Maroni Clan, a powerful faction in the Italian Empire. The crew paid the poo a visit based off a deal gone sour with one of their ally clans, and they were seeking vengeance. When the poo learned of their intentions, he massacred most of the Maroni crew. The ones that escaped brought word to their bosses, Jacob Maroni and Brody Maroni, and when they heard the news, they both knew at once that they had to take care of this threat. So they dispatched the ruthless Maroni assassin Conker, to properly exterminate the piece of crap.

### **Downfall of the poo**

In the year 3653 BBY, things were looking unusual for the Great Mighty Poo. Gang activity had totally diminished from the sewers, and he was left alone. He went to search the sewers once more to find nothing, he knew something was up, and his suspicions were confirmed when he heard someone enter the domain of his Poo Mountain. With haste, the Great Mighty Poo emerged to meet his foe, singing an opera song at the same time. Conker, who was hired to kill the poo, engaged in a fierce duel with the bloated piece of dung.

Throughout the fight, the Great Mighty Poo tried to slay his foe by throwing fecal matter at the squirrel, but his attacks were always thwarted by the excess amount of toilet paper that Conker seemed to be magically conjuring. Each time Conker dealt him more damage, he became increasingly more frustrated and began to sing faster, which in turn empowered him. The Great Mighty Poo quickly realized that the amount of toilet paper in his toilet would be awfully detrimental if it were flushed. The moment he made that connection, Conker flushed him down the toilet, relaying to the Great Mighty Poo that he had only been toying with him the entire time.

With the duel ended, Conker placed explosives throughout Poo Mountain. When he activated the explosives, it leveled the entire structure, leaving nothing but a sickening memory. The Great Mighty Poo met his demise that day and died with the knowledge that he had been outmatched and disrespected. Upon death, the Great Mighty Poo was cast into the deepest depths of Chaos, where he would spend the remainder of his existence.