A Gathering of Merchant Rhymes from the Blackmarket

A Gathering of Merchant Rhymes from the Blackmarket is a book found in The Blackmarket Book rental stall.

## Location

The book is found in the Blackmarket Central District Book rental stall and can be rented for 6 gold coins.

## Contents

A Gathering of Merchant Rhymes from the Blackmarket

-Collected, censored and curated by Marius Paupin, goblin poet.

Before sign-age, paint and slaves were readily available in order for
merchants to advertise their wares, they used to resort to
shouts, calls and rhymes from their stalls to get noticed.

Eventually, in a sort of 'competition for attention', these cries
became catchier and catchier in desperate hope of convincing a
listener to stop by their stall, and not the rivals' stall.

Nowadays, these calls have devolved into 'BLUETRII, 5 GOLD A BUNCH!'
But still, the rhyming market was nice while it lasted.

-The Great Gar'Gallok's Call-

Oh, come king! Come queen!
Don't waste your precious thought!
Come here, where I'm seen!
Clever tricks to be bought!

-The Cheat Seller's Rhyme-

Boys and girls, here I am.
And you too, sir and mam!
Right here is what you lack;
the scrolls stored in my pack!

-The Newspaper Herald Goblin's Cry-

You, sir, are ill-informed!
Listening for rumours lacks tact!
Instead, swing by me to get the truth,
The Blackmarket Herald is ALL fact!

-Chelob's Shout-

Test your mettle, test your wit!
See if you know all that's writ.
Questions I ask, answers you give.
Wise am I, many years I do live.

-The Axe Bucket-

Come get axes from bob!
So shiny they'll open your gob!
Better than spear(s\*),
they hack off skulls clear!
And they're useful if you're gonna rob!

(\*Barbarians were never known for their rhyming skills,
unlike the bard-barians of the Far North.)

-The Sharpest Dagger-

Stick em with the point end!
Stick it in their flesh!
And unlike those stupid swords,
from the forge they're fresh!

-The Spear Centre-

Don't want to be close to your foe?
Now that is pretty smart ya know!
Dagger wielder's blood will flow!
I do hear of spears discounted though...

-The Swordsman's Companion-

Sharp and clean
or dark and mean?
Want to make streets run red?
Or just lop off some chumps head?
Either or our swords are here,
and they're every axeman's fear!

-Chants of the Tavern(s)-

(It should be noted that tavern keeps aren't... renowned for
their poetic merit. Particularly taverns frequented by... shadier
patrons. As such, one rhyme served all Blackmarket public houses
well enough. The true author is unknown, though the full rhyme
can be found under the 'Marketing Strategies' chapter of acclaimed
business manual 'So you want to set up a tavern'.)

Come in and have a drink!
In our inn so fine!
Don't worry about the stink
or taste of the wine.

All you need know
is that here the ale doth flow.
Look! Our door is really near...
and good/bad(\*\*) company is found here!

(\*\*Depending on the nature and... 'appeal'... of the
establishment in question, various one syllable words
(many too rude to be recorded here), sometimes three
syllable words depending on the strength of the alcohol,
were substituted here.)

-The Blessing Booth Chant-

So many gods.
I know them all!
Get their blessings.
Or to hell you'll fall!
After all, it is a lovely day
And you can NEVER have too many blessings I say!

## Trivia

* This book was written by Warsim reddit community legend Detyan (Dtyn8 on reddit)