6. DIXI: Series 4, The Alessandro Identity

## The Alessandro Identity - Dixi

The gang try to find out who hacked Alessandro's account, and Billie thinks she knows for sure who the Shredder is.

### Writer

Dan Berlinka Robert Butler Jon Macqueen Nina Metivier  Laura Major Eva O'Connor

## Episodes Transcript and Timings

Previously on the Adventures of Billie,

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we found out we've been chasing a shadow.

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Alessandro doesn't exist.

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I'm so sorry I lied to you guys.

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I'm the worst friend ever.

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Amani, we all make mistakes.

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And your mistake was inventive with a multi-layered

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and engaging lead character. I respect you for that.

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Well, I know making up a fake boyfriend seems totally pathetic,

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but I had my reasons.

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-You guys saw what happened when I started here.

-That was horrible.

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But we took all those posters down.

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-I bet no-one even remembers any more.

-Well, I do.

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Blake's always saying I'm too Amanly to ever have a boyfriend.

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"Amanly, you're so muscly,

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"you should be a body-builder.

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"I'm surprised they let someone as Amanly as you

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"join the girl's football team."

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I thought if I just invented a boyfriend,

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Blake would finally leave me alone.

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Oh, Amani.

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And then I found some photos online of a guy from a local football team

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and made the fake Dixi profile.

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The Alessandro identity.

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But then someone hacked the profile,

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changed the password so I couldn't log in any more,

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and now everything's spiralled out of control.

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You know, you'd all Dixi-friended Alessandro and now whoever's

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on the account is leaving those mean messages.

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You could've told us.

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The League of Ordinary Heroes would've come to your rescue.

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I think it's quite impressive you managed to pull it off till now.

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Maybe you should quit athletics and focus on a career as

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Double Agent Spy Detective.

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Bubs, the moral of the story is honesty is the best policy.

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A career in secrecy really isn't what Amani needs right now.

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Well, neither is dealing with Selene.

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Oh, what a tangled web we weave,

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when we invent a boyfriend for our own popularity.

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I can't believe the whole time I was trying to track down Alessandro,

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you knew he wasn't even real.

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Why would you let me hunt for someone who doesn't even exist?

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Leave it, Selene. Amani apologised.

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Yes, the important thing now is that we focus on finding who is

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controlling the Alessandro account.

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PHONE CHIMES

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Oh, no! It's Alessandro!

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Now the whole school's going to find out.

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My whole life is ruined.

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Hey, Amanly. How's the love life?

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Made up any good boyfriends lately?

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-Back off, Blake!

-Can you just leave me alone for once in your life?

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Oh, I'm sure you'll have no problem being alone.

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Careful, Billie.

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Maybe you're a figment of her imagination too.

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Or mine.

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Ugh.

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Blake's the literal actual worst.

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Does he really think everyone's so stunned by his boyband face

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-they don't notice what a horrible human he is?

-Forget Blake.

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We need to work out who's taken over the Alessandro account.

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Amani, who else could have access?

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You know, the only think I can think of is

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when I forgot to log out of the computer room.

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Maybe someone saw?

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PHONE CHIMES

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Hold on! It's Abi.

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Wait a second.

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Didn't we just establish the Alessandro doesn't exist?

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He doesn't.

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So, how come Abi is keeping an eye on him?

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Abi's lying.

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Ugh, but, why?

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We've come to Asta-Rathbone to ask Abi why she lied about spying

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on Alessandro when we know that's impossible.

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You know what else is impossible?

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For Echo's campaign to get any worse.

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According to the latest Dixi poll,

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only two people have said they're going to vote for her,

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-and that's you and me.

-We're doomed!

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Blake the Snake is slithering his way to victory.

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The election isn't until next week.

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We're here investigating now.

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You need to focus! Find Abi.

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Look, it's Abi's drama teacher. Let's ask him.

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OK, but if he starts shouting Shakespeare, I'm out of here.

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Excuse me, have you seen Abi around?

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Uh, I thought I saw her a moment ago.

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Or was that this morning?

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Abi or not Abi, that is the question.

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Well, that was helpful.

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Hey, have you seen Abi?

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Yeah, she's over there.

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Abi?

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No, I'm Adi.

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Oh, sorry, we're looking for our friend Abi. She's new.

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Oh, I don't know her. Sozzleplex.

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Hey, do you guys go to Drew Fletcher?

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My girlfriend went there.

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Are you here to do the arts course?

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No, our friend is, though.

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We're just solving a mystery.

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You Drew Fletcher guys do that a lot.

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Well, I hope you find her. Good luck.

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Now I'm going to be late for athletics.

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Keep me posted, guys.

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Where is Abi? This whole thing is deeply suspicious.

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She says she's tracking a boy who doesn't exist,

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at a school where we can't find her.

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-She's probably just in a rehearsal.

-Rehearsal for her next attack!

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Uh, guys, I might be hallucinating,

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but isn't that the boy who doesn't exist?

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-Alessandro!

-Who?

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Alessandro, you're real.

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You've got the wrong guy. My name's Shaq.

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Well, um, that cleared that mystery up, then.

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I'm more confused than I have ever been.

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Alessandro didn't exist,

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but Alessandro does exist and is called Shaq.

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And where's Abi?

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I'm worried about her too, Princess Sparkle.

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So, the next morning I decided to find out what is going on.

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Those of us blessed with deductive reasoning already know

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what's going on.

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She's been Alessandro this whole time.

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Hey, slow down there, Flash.

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Abi's our friend.

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I'm not just banging on her door and accusing her.

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This is a delicate situation, OK? So let's be...

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-..delicate.

-I just can't believe there's a real Alessandro.

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Only he's called Shaq,

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and he really goes to Asta-Rathbone.

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-My mind is blown!

-Seriously?!

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Given that he regularly plays for the local football team,

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which you must have known when you stole that photo of him

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off their website.

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The odds of him going to a local school are

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statistically overwhelming.

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Remind me why we invited her along.

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-ABI:

-Calm down, I know we're out of milk.

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I'll get some now.

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OMD! Girl Squad. That includes you, Bubs.

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SELENE CLEARS HER THROAT

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Oh, um, hey, Selene.

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What's with the surprise visit? You guys missing me?

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Why aren't you at school?

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Um, none of us are school, hon.

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It doesn't start for another 20 minutes.

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-Yes, but why aren't you in school uniform?

-Cos I'm ill.

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COUGHS

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I'm going out to get cough drops, if that's allowed.

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And we're out of milk. What's your problem? Seriously.

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I'm gone one week and this is who you replace me with?

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We know you're behind everything.

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You've been attacking us all on Dixi. Admit it.

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Selene, remember how we talked about "delicate?"

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What is she on about? What is this?

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-Abi, no-one's accusing you of anything...

-Yes, we are.

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..but we know you lied about Alessandro.

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You said you knew him, but he doesn't exist.

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Amani made him up.

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OK, I mean, yeah, I knew that.

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I know he didn't exist, but...

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A-ha! See, she's lying.

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He does exist. He just isn't called Alessandro.

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He's called Shaq.

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-We found him at Asta-Rathbone when we were trying to find you.

-Hello!

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If I can finish. I knew Alessandro didn't exist.

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Of course I know Shaq.

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I was just trying to protect a friend.

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You know, how friends are nice to each other.

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You should try it sometime.

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I knew you'd be embarrassed if I said he wasn't

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really your boyfriend. So, I lied.

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OMD.

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I'm so sorry, Abi. That's so sweet.

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I can't believe I dragged you into this.

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And I can't believe I thought logic and reason would get me

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anywhere with you people.

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How am I supposed to figure this out if you're all lying to each other

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all the time?

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You and your friends are ridiculous.

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Solve this mystery on your own. I am out!

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-BUBS:

-Missing you already.

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-ABI:

-You guys didn't seriously think

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I was attacking you on Dixi, did you?

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No, we just...

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..followed the clues.

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I'm sorry.

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Walk me to the shop and make it up to me?

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You can catch me up, like why are you hanging with Selene now,

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and how is Echo running for student president? She hates school.

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Well, I mean we all hate school sometimes...

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No, I mean hate-hate.

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She did a whole vlog on how all the teachers are like evil overlords,

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especially Miss Malik.

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Echo hates Miss Malik?

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Enough to say, trash her office?

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No. It can't be.

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Just because she's quiet, and always dresses in black,

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and has a double life on Dixi where she monologues about how much

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she hates everyone...

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OMD! Echo's a super villain!

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Abi's theory makes total sense.

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Of course Echo's The Shredder.

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I know it might look like there's no evidence that

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Echo wrecked the office, PearlSillyTomato,

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but I went back and checked out her Dixi posts.

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She did a whole vlog on how much she hates Miss Malik.

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Look.

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They can ban our badges, take our wristbands,

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wipe off our make-up,

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but we will never join the clone army.

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Then I went back over the footage from when we

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searched Miss Malik's office, and guess what I found.

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That drawer was full of confiscated stuff,

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and it turns out all of it was Echo's.

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Not only did she get revenge on Miss M by trashing her office,

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she framed me to make sure I couldn't run in the elections,

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-now she's going to take over the school.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

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What about the part where we made Echo run for president?

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Exactly. It's the ultimate double bluff.

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Look at all the posters she had printed.

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She was always planning to run. We fell right into her trap.

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She's been one step ahead of us this whole time.

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Jane, finally you're here.

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Just for future reference, we prefer comic books.

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Maybe something like snacks...

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It's the Drew Fletcher Student Council Rule book.

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Now, even though you've been cleared of trashing Miss Malik's office,

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it's now too late for you to run against Echo and Blake.

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But there is this.

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Article 15, subsection 12, line 6.

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"A student running for president may handover the candidacy

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"to another student up to one week before the election."

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OMD. That's perfect!

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That's beyond perfect!

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It means I can run against Blake again.

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But Echo will never go for it.

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Er, Echo, who tried to drop out of the election two days ago?

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Somehow, I think we can convince her.

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Unless I'm right about her. If she does stand down,

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she really was only running because we made her.

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But if she refuses, then it's proof that she was planning

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this from the start and she really is an evil genius!

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Billie, Bubs, just in time.

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It's my head-to-head debate with Blake tomorrow

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and my speech needs to slay him.

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We need to show the world that Blake may give you a cupcake,

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but his promises are all fake.

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Oh, write that down!

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Wow, all this work, you must be really stressed.

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I bet you're wishing I never dragged you into this whole election thing.

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I do miss loitering, there's no time to loiter any more.

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And every time I think about making a speech,

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my toes start to sweat and I get dizzy.

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But someone needs to stand up against Blake, right?

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Right! And it turns out that someone can be me.

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All you have to do is let me take over the campaign and you can

0:09:42 0:09:45
go back to lurking in the shadows like the good old days.

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Woohoo!

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No?

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You want me to stand down?

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But I found my voice, like you said.

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So, achievement unlocked. Nothing else to do here.

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It's a perfect time to stand aside.

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I thought you'd come to help me.

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No, I won't stand down.

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But you said you didn't even want to run for president.

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Are you saying that was a lie?

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I'm saying this is my campaign. My fight.

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And with or without your help, I'm going to win.

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That presidency is mine.

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And then watch out, school, cos there'll be a new sheriff in town!

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Hello-o-o-o!

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It's Echo-o-o-o!

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And I need you to hear this message and shout it from the rooftops.

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Your vote counts.

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Your voice matters.

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I promise to be a good and honest president.

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I will start by reforming the greenhouse.

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And I will make change happen.

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But here's the thing,

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I don't mind which name you tick on your ballot paper,

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I just want your opinion to be noted.

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I was silent for too long.

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I thought my views didn't matter, but now I realise they do.

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And so do yours.

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Whether you're a goth or a jock or whatever other stupid label

0:11:02 0:11:05
we have in this school,

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find your voice and use it.