Little Songbird

"Little Songbird" is an origin story for Faerthurin written by Eliyora.

## Transcript

Sometimes, it seemed as though everything had been decided for her right from the very first breath she took.

She was a small girl born to a fairly frail woman. A downy layer of purple fuzz grew from her scalp, and even though she was newly born, she did not scream very much at all. In fact, her crying was quite subdued. The midwife who delivered her handed the baby to her mother briefly so she could be fed, but that was all the time they were permitted before an imposing figure came in to take her from her mother's arms. Even as an infant, the first words she heard from his mouth stayed with her, in the back of her mind always.

"That is not worthy of the name Helegolar."

Throughout the girl's formative years, the spoken words became a subconscious identity. She was not a Helegolar. She was not worth the family's name. She was only Faerthurin, the undesired spawn of the head of the family. The house servants knew it. The children knew it. The family knew it. There were none who were unaware of who and what she was, and the first part of her life was spent in isolation, with only her mother, the gentle and kind Yrlissa, offering her any form of love and support. In those very early years, even though she was often lonely, Faerthurin found great joy in being with her mother, learning of the world around them. Yrlissa had a knack for bringing a smile to her dear daughter's face, be it as simple as making her a sweet cake or picking her up and healing a scraped knee when she fell.

Fae took a special interest the first time her mother did this, her eyes lighting up with delight and wonder at the light touch of magic. This did not go unnoticed by Yrlissa, and even though her daughter was too young to be properly trained in the magical arts, she saw no harm in teaching the girl some very simple, basic things. While she taught her daughter basic letters and numbers, she also showed her how to make little sparkles. While she learned words and names, she learned to make a tiny light. She learned much, and learned it very swiftly. In fact, she learned it far swifter than she should have been capable of at her young age.

Unfortunately, these happy times with her mother were but a small part of her youth. After all, her mother had her own duties to tend to, and so Faerthurin was frequently by herself, left to the mercy of the other elves. Fae learned very quickly that the adults would not be nice if they did not have to be, for even though she was the daughter of the second most powerful family of their people, she was not considered his legitimate child. Many would patronize her far more than was necessary, even for her young age, and many times she would hear the word, "U'Raanu." She did not know what it meant, but she was sure it wasn't nice at all. Eventually, she stopped trying to talk to the adults and instead tried to talk to the other children.

This was far worse than the adults.

The other children were horribly mean to her. They called her mean names, stole what few toys she had and broke them, shoved her to the ground, and much more beyond that. The worst of them all was her own cousin, a girl named Corwel Helegolar. Corwel was younger and was not the child of the head of the family, but she was born to a legitimate marriage and as such was not only permitted the family name, but was the heiress to the Helegolar family. This made her very stuck-up and she constantly looked down upon Faerthurin, never missing a chance to make the u'raanu feel like less than a person.

"You are stupid and worthless! Uncle Aymer doesn't want you because you're not good enough! You'll never be a Helegolar!"

This was the mantra Fae heard from her for many years. Her attempts to make friends stopped. Her trust in others faltered. She never even looked to the adults for help because they would pretend as though they did not see or hear Corwel's behavior towards her. Many was the night that she would return to her mother in tears from their cruelty. It tore Yrlissa's heart to pieces to see her precious child tormented so, but she could do nothing but attempt to calm her distress.

*Hush my darling, don't you cry*

*Calm you heart and dry your eyes*

*As the moon shines in the sky*

*Be wrapped in my sweet lullaby*

*The wind whispers through the leaves*

*And takes you to a place unseen*

*May your mind be at ease*

*As you travel to your dreams*

*Fly on the wings of a dove*

*To the secret place only you know of*

*As the stars watch you from above*

*Let your heart be filled with love*

*Hush my darling, don't you cry*

*Calm your heart and dry your eyes*

*As the moon shines in the sky*

*Be wrapped in my sweet lullaby*

The lullaby was the only reason her dreams were not plagued by nightmares. The lullaby allowed her to hold on to a small hope of becoming happy. Her mother's love was the only good thing she had, and she cherished it more and more as time wore on.

Eventually, the torment of the uncaring nobility and the cruel children began to wear upon Fae. Her smiles began to dim. Her laughs became smaller, infrequent. She began to withdraw further and further from people and instead began to rely on books for company. Her mother had begun bringing her some simple books so she would have a bright spot in her day when they couldn't be together, and gradually Faerthurin began to bury herself in them. Fewer and fewer children would harass her as she no longer listened to them, and so books became her  protection. She relied on them far more than she had ever relied on a person, and because of that reliance, she read through her books faster than her mother could get them for her. Eventually, she began to look for books on her own, reading them in a voracious manner. The books were her friends. They kept the bad people away. They made her happy.

Corwel, however, did not like that Faerthurin was not paying heed to her any longer. How dare that u'raanu ignore her! She was Corwel Helegolar! She was important! That girl needed to be put in her place, and she knew exactly how to do it.

She located her cousin one morning, sitting alone in a corner as she always did with book in hand. She made no effort to hide her malicious intent as she strode up to the bookish girl, looking down her nose at her like always. Fae glanced up for a brief moment, saw Corwel, and then returned to her reading with nary a sound. Corwel's face contorted with fury at the apparent dismissal and without a second thought, she snatched the book from Faerthurin's hands, forcing her to look up properly.

"Yes, cousin?" Fae asked quietly.

"You do not call me cousin, u'raanu!!" Corwel snarled. "You don't get to ignore me either! You're not allowed! You don't get to just read this stuff and act like things are okay!"

Fae sighed, but didn't respond back. Corwel grew even angrier. Looking at the book she had stolen, she opened it to a random page and began tearing the papers out of the book. This finally drew a response from Fae as she leaped up from where she was sitting and grabbed at the book that Corwel was destroying.

"You can't! That's not my book!" she cried.

"Not yours? So you stole it!" Corwel sneered, continuing to tear the book apart.

"I borrowed it! It's from the library! Mama can't buy the books fast enough so I borrow them! Give it back!" Fae yelled, making another grab for the book. Corwel ignored her and kept at it until eventually, there were no more pages left. Just a pile of papers and an empty book cover. Fae dropped to her knees and began to cry as Corwel laughed in satisfaction that finally, this worthless nothing was giving her the attention she was due.

Perhaps it was coincidence. Perhaps it was simply fate. Regardless, it was at that moment that the head of the family and Faerthurin's father, Aymer, happened by and heard the small commotion. He happened to glance in that direction as Fae turned an furious eye to Corwel.

"Bully!! You're just a big, bratty bully, you big poo!!" she screamed at her as she raised her hands in Corwel's direction. Corwel was livid at the girl's words but, before she could respond, she suddenly smelled something horrible from all around her. Corwel looked down and realized the smell was coming from her clothes, which were now somehow horribly filthy, covered in massive brown splotches. She looked at Faerthurin, whose hands were still outstretched and were glowing very softly.

"Big poo," she muttered, giving a somewhat satisfied smirk despite her continued tears. Corwel screamed in utter fury, but just before she could launch herself at Fae, she felt herself being lifted from the ground by something.

"That is enough, Corwel," came an authoritative voice. Both girls saw Aymer, whose hand was outstretched as he levitated the angry child magically.

"Uncle!" Corwel yelped. "Look at what she did to my clothes! She made me all messy!!"

"Indeed she did," he answered, glancing down at the tattered book on the ground. "And I wager it was merely in response to your own actions, correct?"

Corwel paused. "I... um... W-Well..."

"Enough, child," he said, lowering her to the ground. "Go to your father and tell him what you have done. Be honest, for I will be checking with him later. Off with you."

Corwel threw Faerthurin one more dirty look before turning to walk away. Fae started to gather  up the papers all around her, but stopped when Aymer came over and picked up the book cover. He tapped it with a finger and in the next instant, all the pages began to return to the book, mending itself good as new. Fae's eyes widened in awe, but she remained completely silent. She knew who this man was. She knew what he was to her. Still, his absence in her life had left her entirely uncertain of how to behave with him. This man was the one who had deemed her unworthy. This man was the one who forbade from her a last name. It was to her great surprise, then, that he placed a gentle hand on the top of her head. She stared at him in shock as he put on a calm smile.

"That was a Prestidigitation spell," he said. "A very simple spell, but a spell nonetheless. You should not be capable of spellwork at your age. How did you do that?"

Fae blushed brightly and looked down. "Mama showed me how to make sparks when I was really little. When I started borrowing from the library, I read a book that said the sparks were a basis for a real spell, so I read the spell."

"How many times did you read the spell? And how much did you practice it?" Aymer pressed.

"I... I only read it once. I can remember things really good," she mumbled. "And I practiced it just a little bit by myself."

"One reading, and practicing alone... You should not have been able to build that framework alone, and yet you did..." he contemplated. "One would have to be a prodigy to accomplish such a feat at such a tender age." Aymer looked at the girl and pet her head. "You're a talented girl, aren't you? I think I need to talk with your mother about us spending more time together."

Fae's eyes lit up. "Really? Us spending time together?"

"Well yes. I mean, I am your father, after all. I think we should spend more time in each other's company," he answered in a carefully polite tone. Her youthful naivety and childish innocence kept her from being suspicious at his sudden interest in spending time with the child he had cast aside. She was too delighted at the idea of getting to be with her father at last to wonder why.

Her mother was not.

It was after she had tucked Fae in for sleep that Aymer made his way to Yrlissa. Despite their previous relations, he was not welcomed warmly. He did not bat an eye at this, simply giving her a condescending smile as he made an offer to her that she entirely did not expect.

"Marry you?!" she exclaimed.

"Indeed. For the sake of my daughter, I would offer you to become my wife proper, no longer a simple dalliance that took my fancy for a brief time. You and Faerthurin would come to live in the manor properly, not in these servant quarters, and you would be afforded the life of a lady of nobility," he explained carefully.

Yrlissa folded her arms. "I am to believe this now? After so many years? You could have been her father long before now. You could have made me your wife years ago, before she was even born. I am to trust this sudden change of heart? What precisely do you gain from this?"

Aymer smirked. "I see you have grown a little smarter. I will not mince words, then. Offering you this marriage garners me nothing, personally. I am simply of the mind that it would make adjusting far easier for Faerthurin when I bring her into House Helegolar."

"When? What do you mean when?!" she demanded.

"Oh come now, you were doing so well a moment ago," he said condescendingly. "I am Aymer Helegolar. There is only one family that outstrips mine for standing, the house of Duke Orthorion himself. The child sleeping in the next room is mine by blood. I can and will take her to the manor with nary a consequence. None will take the word of a scullery maid over a powerful lord such as myself. I can provide her with far more than you could ever hope to. Better food, better clothes, standing, a proper education and training for her immense magical talent. You do want what is best for our sweet little child, do you not?"

Yrlissa visibly wavered in her resolve. She had noticed long ago that her daughter was gifted, and she of course knew that she would not be able to give her the education that Aymer was speaking of. All the same, she knew there was something more to this, something she could not decipher. She eyed him suspiciously, the answer no still clearly written across her face.

Aymer's amusement grew. "I am giving you the opportunity to remain her mother, dear Yrlissa. I make this offer out of the kindness of my heart, for you and for her. I do not need to take you on as my wife, but I will. I suggest you accept my kindness, because regardless of your decision I am taking Faerthurin to House Helegolar for education. Will you, or will you not remain in her life?"

Yrlissa's eyes widened, and she glanced back to the door to Faerthurin's room. To lose her would surely be her end. Faerthurin's birth may not have come from ideal circumstances, but having that child had brought her joy and life such as she had never experienced. She loved her daughter and would do anything to be a good mother to her... even something like this.

"....very well, Aymer. I will be your wife if it means I can remain my little Faery's mother," she acquiesced.

"A wise choice," Aymer said. "I will begin preparations for a wedding immediately. Pack your belongings. You will be moving into the manor in two days. I will be back to personally escort you and my dear daughter."

Aymer was true to his word. Within two days, Yrlissa and Faerthurin found themselves being swept away to their new home within House Helegolar, and for the next several weeks, Yrlissa's time was consumed by wedding preparations. Fae barely saw her mother during that time, but she did not mind. As far as she understood it, this simply meant that she and Mama were finally becoming part of the family for real. The wedding came to pass, and most of the house celebrated Yrlissa Helegolar with relative ease. Oddly, though, the open contempt towards Faerthurin merely became cold indifference, and both she and Yrlissa were baffled at the lack of acceptance for the child. It was not a question they had much opportunity to explore, however, as Fae was quickly swept away into studies from the tutors that Aymer brought in.

Day in and day out, it was constant training, constant studying. She was pushed far harder than she expected to be... and yet she took it all with nary a word of complaint. None of this seemed as horrible as the other adults or the children, and at the end of each day her father would come check her progress. If she did well, he would pat her head and say he was proud, which made her incredibly happy. To her, it was worth all the work, all the studying, all the training for that moment of approval, and so she buried herself in study even when the tutors were not attending her. It worried Yrlissa, for Fae began to lose interest in anything else. She ceased reading for recreation. She ceased going out to play. The most she could hope for anymore was for the girl to study outside under the trees, for there seemed to be nothing else she cared to do. Even when she came to her mother she would have tomes to study from, and their time together began to degrade into Fae reading while Yrlissa would hold her close and softly sing.

Faerthurin was a swift learner. The teachers continued to throw more and more complicated materials at her, but her mind would grasp the complex concepts eagerly. History, geography, religion, the arcane, she took all of it in. So swift was her advancement that she soon overtook Corwel in study, despite having begun her education far later. This caused Corwel tremendous frustration, but because Fae was now being watched by Aymer, there was nothing she could do about it.

Time wore on, and the young girl grew older. Her reading habits were more consuming than ever, and she got to a point where she would no longer sit with her mother while she sang. All she would do was read books and learn more. It was all she could do. It was what Father wanted her to do, so she would do it. Free time became a memory. She only knew rest when she slept. Everything she did, every bit of pushing, all of it prompted by earning that pat on the head from her father, something that became progressively more difficult to obtain. He expected more of her every day, and his kind words became fewer and further between. Faerthurin, always craving her father's love and approval, lost sight of other things. He expected better. He expected more. He would love her again when she met expectations.

And so the cycle was for years. Day in, day out, non-stop study, and constant emotional manipulation to keep her always desperate. It was such that she gradually drifted away from Yrlissa, much to her mother's heartbreak. Even with Faerthurin's vast intelligence, she was working so hard and pushed so much that she began to struggle under the workload. The tutors were showing signs of disapproval, and this of course was brought to Aymer's attention. She hoped that he might tell them that she needed time to rest, but he instead became angry at her for failing, for slacking off, for not doing enough for him.

"Father, forgive me. I swear by Corellon I am doing my very best," she pleaded.

"Your very best, is it?" he responded. "You continue to disappoint. You should be able to handle all of this and more, dear songbird."

"I am sorry! I am doing my best to live up to the name Helegolar!" she vowed.

Aymer gave her a raised eyebrow. "Why would you live up to that name?" he asked.

Faerthurin was very confused. "What... What do you mean, Father? I am trying to live up to the family's expectations."

Aymer gave her a brief stare, then lifted her face to look her directly in the eye and for the first time, Faerthurin saw the uncaring ice in his gaze.

"Admirable, yet futile. You are my pretty little songbird, Faerthurin, but you are not now nor have you ever been a Helegolar."

To say she was devastated would be a vast understatement. Those few words broke her. She had never been a Helegolar. Her father had never accepted her as part of the family. She was still, even now, u'raanu. Clanless. An elf with no family. This revelation combined with her incredible fatigue and her emotional fragility caused pure despair to flood through her entire body, and she did the only thing she could do in that moment.

She ran.

She ran from her father, from the manor, from everything. Fleeing into the forest, she only stopped running when her breath failed her. Curling up under a tree, she began sobbing helplessly. Had it all been for nothing, then? Had it all been as worthless as she had been her whole life? Why was he putting her through this grueling hell if not to make her a worthy part of House Helegolar? No answers were forthcoming, and she continued to sob unendingly until a small bump on the head startled her from her sorrow. Before she could respond, a small creature slid from the point of impact and down into her lap.

It was a small raven chick.

The poor thing was clearly very young, as it was very tiny, and its wings did not seem quite fully grown in. It was mostly covered in fluffy down, but had a few proper feathers in some places. She looked up into the branches to see if she could spot a nest, but either the nest was too hidden to spot or there simply wasn't one because she could see nothing. She looked down at the small creature in her lap again, lost as to what to do. Then, it turned its head to look at her and gave a pitiful chirp.

Before Fae knew what she was doing, she was up and running back towards the manor, the small bird cradled carefully in her hands. She did not know why, but she knew that she could not let this helpless creature sit in the forest alone to die. She ran as fast as her tired legs would carry her to the one person she believed would help her.

Yrlissa nearly had a heart attack when Faerthurin came bursting in the door. When the girl began yelling about "helping him" and "can't let him die," she took one look at what she was carrying and set about creating a makeshift nest from spare rags for the bird. She and Fae made careful sure that the small bird would be comfortable, and then set about gathering seed, small insects, and water for it. Faerthurin spent the remainder of the evening tending to the chick, guided by her mother. In fact, the next few days were spent in this manner.

Yrlissa was amazed. Faerthurin did not once reach for a book while tending to this raven. Her attention was completely focused on the small bird as he regained his strength. Yrlissa wanted to be happy to see this, but she could tell something was wrong. It was as though Fae was attempting to block something out by tending to her new friend. Rather than ask, though, she simply did what she could to help her daughter care for the bird. Between the two of them, they managed to restore the raven's strength in a matter of days.

As soon as it was able to stand and hop about without collapsing, the raven took to making its way to Faerthurin and burying itself in her hand. For her part, Fae began to carry the bird around and take it to windows and doors, showing it branches and trees and the open sky. More than once, she set her friend on a branch to see if he wanted to return to the natural world, but always he would make his way back to her. He was clearly too old for it to have been impression so he did not believe her to be his mother. Still, the bird was either grateful to her or just plain attached to her at that point, and she had become likewise attached to him. The pair became inseparable, him always on her shoulder chirping away happily, and she always giving him little bits of food and talking to him about anything that crossed her mind. Yrlissa overheard one such conversation between Faerthurin and her new pet.

"I just don't understand why. I can read and learn and practice all he wants me to, but I still remain... u'raanu. Am I just inherently broken? Do I have some sort of fault father has perceived and I have not? It makes no sense..." she muttered quietly to the bird.

As though he understood, and for all Yrlissa knew he did, the raven let out a chirp and nuzzled Fae's cheek. She sighed and gave him a small pat. "At least you do not reject me. I was good enough to help you. Thank you for that. Thank you for not leaving. Having you around has helped keep me lucid these last few weeks."

The raven chirped again, sounding quite self-satisfied somehow. To Yrlissa's surprise, Fae gave a small giggle and smiled at her friend. "Oh, you do know what it is you've done for me, don't you. How very appropriate. I suppose, then, that it would make a fitting name wouldn't it? Lucid. I think that is an apt name for what you have done for me."

When the raven, now named Lucid, let out a curious sound at her, she sighed heavily and her smile disappeared. "I know. I will have to return to my studies soon. I don't have a choice. Father still will expect me to be learning and becoming better. I know not what he intends for me to do if it is not for living up to the Helegolar name, but he must have some sort of purpose for me. I suppose that is better than having nothing, so I will bear it. Maybe if I work hard enough, Father will let me have the family name. He never said I will never be a Helegolar, after all. Maybe I have to earn it."

Lucid let out an indignant squawk and hopped on her shoulder a few times. Yrlissa sighed, silently agreeing with the bird. Despite his young age, Lucid very clearly understood something that Fae was not wanting to see. Aymer had no intention of ever allowing her to bear the name Helegolar until it served some purpose for him. It tore her heart apart. She wanted so much to make it stop, to end the torment her daughter was suffering. She wanted to march right up to her husband and tell him to stop hurting her little Faery, that she would no longer be studying under those wretched standards that he forced upon her. She wanted to... and yet she did not. Aymer had made it abundantly clear that any action against him from her would simply result in her being removed from the House and leave Fae without a parent that did love her. She was powerless. Even as Lady Helegolar, she could do nothing. She was his wife in name only, and could make no move against him without risking taking from Fae the last bit of love in her life.

Eventually, Faerthurin gathered up the courage to face her father. Lucid refused to allow her to do so alone, and stayed perched protectively on her shoulder when she went to face him. When she stepped to her father's study, she expected fury. Instead, she was greeted with a cold stare and silence. He looked at her expectantly, folding his hands on his desk and waiting patiently. Taking a deep breath, Fae began speaking.

"I am sorry, Father. I acted selfishly and have been lazy, stopping my studies for this long. I ask for your forgiveness and your permission to return to my studies," she said carefully. Aymer gave her a long, evaluating look, but before he could speak, Lucid piped up with a rather indignant caw. Fae gave Lucid a panicked look, but Aymer took interest in the raven.

"Where did that bird come from?" he asked.

"Oh... This... This is Lucid. I have been taking care of him for the last few weeks. He... he is my companion, my friend. He has chosen to stay by my side since I found him," she explained, fumbling over her words in her nerves.

Aymer stood, stepped around his desk, and knelt down to take a careful look at the bird. Lucid cawed again, but Aymer ignored it, seeming fascinated by something.

"A familiar... Again with no guidance, you have advanced and found a familiar for yourself," he muttered.

"A familiar?" she asked. "He's my familiar? But... he's just my friend."

Aymer looked at the girl. "Tell me. When you are with him, can you tell if he has something to say? And can you hear what he says?"

Fae looked down. "Well... yes. I can understand Lucid very well. I talk to him and... he talks to me too," she admitted.

"He is your familiar," Aymer said plainly. He stood and then, to Faerthurin's great surprise, placed a gentle hand on her head. "You found a way to continue your studies for me while you were away. I am pleased. You are forgiven, and you may return to your studies. Your tutors will be here tomorrow. I expect to see you both there early."

Lucid let out yet another indignant squawk as Fae thanked her father and left his study swiftly, and the following day, her studies resumed as normal, though now there was far more expected of her. Aymer began stepping in himself, pushing for her learning to be more advanced. He continued to drive into her that her education, her studying, and her becoming more knowledgeable pleased him. As she grew older and continued to learn, it was just more and more important that she meet his standards. She had to achieve what he wanted of her. He had goals for her, plans, and she was going to meet them. Aymer's plans were what mattered. Aymer's goals were what mattered. Any deviations, any failures, any wavering was met with punishment. He was no longer hiding his nature from her, and yet she continued to struggle, to reach for a wish that was not achievable: Her father's approval, and to be part of the family.

Lucid, the only other being who actually saw the cruel regimen directly, grew more and more sour and angry as he witnessed what Fae was subjected to and how it affected her. As he himself grew and learned, he eventually developed the ability to speak, and began to spend time speaking to Yrlissa about what was happening. Hearing the depths of abuse her daughter was being subjected to finally broke her reservations, and she told Lucid to do something that caused the bird shock. He knew it was likely the best way to handle things, but it would affect Yrlissa as well and he did not want that. Yrlissa insisted. She did not matter. Her little Faery did. Eventually, Lucid agreed to her plans.

For the next several weeks, he began softly pushing thoughts into her mind. Very gently and not pretending as though they were hers, but he used their bond to plant questions into her head. Why did she tolerate this treatment? Why was she letting herself become a puppet? To what end did she endure it when she knew her wish would never be granted? Why did she treat herself like this, and why did she let Aymer treat her like this?

Why did she still love him?

Though she knew the questions originated from Lucid, once they were asked of her, she could not help but contemplate on them repeatedly. That one word that kept repeating. Why. It was the most important word. Until asked, she had never really thought about why. She only continued with it because what else did she have? There was no place else for her to be, no one else for her to go to. Aymer was horrible to her, but who else did she have? Her mother? No, she could not count on her mother. She had married Aymer, and had not attempted to stop any of it. Corwel had always hated her. Corwel's father, Erthor, was the closest anyone in the family had come to being nice to her, and even he had only ever been neutral to her. She had nothing. She had no one. Only Aymer would accept her. Only Aymer tolerated her. He was all she had. She was alone...

And then a feathered head nuzzling her cheek reminded her that no she wasn't. Even if Lucid was only a raven, he was her friend. Her only friend. The one friend that could never be taken away from her. He was trying, was pushing, was doing what he was able to in order to break her away from this vicious cycle. He was reminding her that she was not alone, and that she would never be alone again. Her heart was gripped by determination. She had someone besides her father. She didn't need to be there. She didn't need to tolerate his punishments and his cruel expectations. Even if she had nothing else to look forward to, nothing was preferable to what she had now, and so she began slowly gathering what few things she had to her name. This did not go unnoticed by Yrlissa, and she asked what Faerthurin was doing.

"I am going to leave, Mother," she said indifferently.

"You're leaving? Where are you going to go?" Yrlissa asked.

"I don't know. Perhaps Mytheserine. They have a grand library there. Perhaps I can study there at my own pace for a while," Fae answered dismissively.

"Oh, I see... Well, would you like me to come with you?" Yrlissa offered hopefully.

"No."

The bluntness of the response startled Yrlissa. In her hesitation, Fae continued, "You are my mother. I love you, and I always will, but I do not believe I can rely on you. You married him willingly. You allowed me to be taken in and kept by him. Even when I could no longer hide my misery, you did nothing but try to comfort. You love me, I know you love me, but you did nothing to help me. I cannot rely on you. I will be leaving alone with Lucid."

Yrlissa's blood ran cold as Fae packed away the last of her things. She only faintly caught her daughter's goodbye as she walked out the door to her final lesson, then swiftly fell to her knees. Only now did she see why Aymer had married her, and all she could do was curse her blindness. Fae was right. She had done nothing. So many times she had wanted to, yet she stayed her hand out of fear of Fae losing her... or had it been out of fear of losing Fae? She had tried so hard to be there for her, yet without taking action to protect her, how could she rightly call herself a mother? Fae was right. She could not be relied upon. She was right to leave without her.

And even now, all she could do was cry helplessly as her daughter left to confront her father one last time.

Aymer did not bother to look up from his papers and plans as Fae entered the study room. He simply spoke, "My little Songbird, I believe you will be ready for your first ceremonial display soon. You will be able to showcase what my education has given you very soon. The better your performance, the greater the standing granted. It will very beneficial, so let us begin preparing, shall we?"

"No, Father."

The response finally caused him to look up, and it was only then that he noticed her bag. He raised an eyebrow. "Are we planning a little trip somewhere without telling me, Songbird?"

"Yes. In fact, a permanent one," she responded in the coldly polite tones she had picked up from him. "I refuse to continue being your songbird anymore, Father."

Aymer stood. "Care to explain yourself?"

"You... you are awful! Horrible! I have only ever done the very best I am capable of, yet you deny me my right to be a Helegolar! You push and punish me, you attempt to remove all things about me that do not align with your idealized vision of a perfectly obedient little puppet! And now you are simply going to use me to gain standing in the ceremonial displays? Have I ever been your flesh and blood? Have I ever been your daughter?" she rushed out.

Aymer chuckled arrogantly. "Why Songbird, you are my dear little daughter. Of course I am going to push you to be perfect. You must be. It's the best thing for you."

"NO!! It's the best thing for YOU!! You want me to be a puppet, not a person! You don't care about me at all! You've always said that I have to do these things for you because you're my father and we're family, but we're not family! I'm a tool to you! You... You will never love me. I know you will never love me..." Her voice began to fail her, and she looked up at the face of the man who sired her. It was the first time she had said it aloud, and now she fully grasped the truth of it. She would never be his daughter. She would never be part of the family. She never was. She was u'raanu from the day he decided she was not good enough, and that had never changed.

Aymer looked at her in disdain. "Are you quite finished with your little outburst? You have lessons to complete, preparations to make for the ceremony, and now I must add punishments for your insolence. Sit down and do not speak out of place again, and I will forget your little declaration to leave."

Faerthurin's face changed, became impassive. It suddenly did not matter anymore. U'raanu, the cruel label she had carried since birth, was now all that was left to her. Very well. If she was clanless, then she would be clanless.

"I will not."

Aymer's eyes darkened as she continued, "I am through, Father. I will not be your songbird to sing from your cage anymore. Lucid and I are leaving. We embrace the title of U'raanu. I have no family, no clan, and I am alone. I no longer have any place here, and you cannot stop me."

Aymer's hand sparked with raw energy. "You think you can come declare to me in such a manner that you are turning your back on everything I have given you and walk out of here unscathed? You, Songbird, will be made to regret that decision deeply!"

*"Tul a' amin tuulo' i' n'at palurin,"* Fae intoned quickly, waving her arm before her. There was a flash of light, and then appeared before Aymer a massive celestial fire beetle. Its eyes locked on Aymer, and it then lifted its wings to flash a brilliant light in his eyes, momentarily blinding him before it launched itself onto him in attack. Fae took the opportunity to turn and run, Lucid flying behind her. She knew that the beetle would not hold him long, so she made her escape swift, fleeing from a servants' entrance and vanishing as quickly as she was able into the trees.

And not for an instant did she pause to look back.

Yrlissa watched from her window as Faerthurin disappeared into the forest, still crying softly. A songbird will sing its tune beautifully from its confines, but once the cage is broken it will fly free. No matter how her heart ached, she knew that letting her fly free was the only way. She had failed to be the mother that her daughter needed, and Aymer was no father. Perhaps out there, she might have a chance to find that which would make her happy. So for one last time, she opened her mouth to sing for her little Faery.

*Fly on the wings of a dove*

*To the secret place only you know of*

*As the stars watch you from above*

*Let your heart be filled with love*

*Hush my darling, don't you cry*

*Calm your heart and dry your eyes*

*As the moon shines in the sky*

*Be wrapped in my sweet lullaby*