The PS2 Disc Part 1 (Funnypasta)

Hey it's me, Geraldo, I know I might seem like a bastard who probably shouldn't have gotten into this again but my fondness for PlayStation goes a long way. Anyway, I had recently dug myself out of a deep, dark hole known as depression. Ever since I had played that damn PS1 game, my house burned down causing me to move into an apartment complex. My girlfriend had cheated and left me (not like she lovedme anyway). I also got IP banned from Reddit for expressing my dislike for the last episode of King Of The Hill saying “not as good as the other episodes”. So yeah, my life was a wreck.

To top it all of the power had went out recently as well. It was reported by some people who were also at the apartment complex that they suspect it was two delinquents in the area, one wearing a yellow shirt with black stripes and the other wearing a lawyer suit. Halloween was around the corner and I assumed it was the new way to prank people that these kids come up with.

So during that entire month of madness, I decided to change up my lifestyle and go outside for once. I was bored after 5 minutes and decided to go back home. Before I entered my apartment, I was stopped by a neighbor of mine. He looked like he was shaking a lot and stuttered a few times. He was there to give me this weird looking Official Xbox Magazine. I went into my house only to throw away the magazine (I dont read magazines, I play games and demo discs). I went into what I guess you would call Living room  (haven't gotten uses to the place yet). I had found an PS2 plugged into my tv. I suspected it was that weird magazine man who broke into my house but at this point I had bigger problems to worry about.

There was a game already put into the console as well. I picked up to see that the game was called:

“The PS2 REMASTERED “

I was shocked and confused at the same time. I was contemplating on whether or not to play the game for what seemed like a good hour before I made up my mind. I decided to throw it away and go to bed.

In the middle of the night, I had woke up to a disturbance going on in my house. ‘I swear to god, if it's that magazine man again’ I thought. It turns out that everything was still intact. Except for the fact that there was a giant dick drawn on the wall. A perfectly drawn dick in high detail was drawn with crayon. I was impressed but I was also more confused as I don't remember drawing one on that wall from the other night when I had gotten high. I looked to the TV screen to see that the PS2 remastered was on the title screen. I said “what the fuck” and play the game since I was bored.I pressed start to be greeted with a text box that said:

“Day One”

I was greeted with a sprite that looked oddly familiar. The character was in a town presumably, as I kept walking down a street. It cut to a cut screen that involved the character carrying a boombox to the frontyard of a house. The person who lived in the house looked out the window to see the character I was playing as dancing to an Mr. Potato Head Theme. I chuckled a bit until I saw that the person in the house  (who happens to be a girl btw) call the police. Also her black boyfriend came out and kicked the characters ass.

When the police arrived, the character had pulled out bomb. I was shocked to here an 16-bit version of ISIS sounding music. There was text that said:

“If I can't have my gf back I'll see you all in hell”

Everyone had blew up in the neighborhood. In fact the explosion was so big I blew up everything. Including my PS2 which had caused fire in my apartment. I called 911 and when the police had arrived, they burst through my door and shot me 5 times. I woke up in a hospital where my sight was blurry for a few seconds. I could here the doctor talking to me. He had a Barry B benson voice, like Jerry Seinfeld the voice of the bee movie.

Doctor: “Are you ok Geraldo, looks like you're in a quite a pickle HUEHUE”

I lifted myself up from the bed to see that next to me on a table was a walking and talking Barry the bee from Bee movie dressed as a doctor.

Barry: “Time to go technical, bitch”

Barry had pulled the plug on my life support and plugged it into an PS2.

The game from earlier was being played as I was being taken over as the character in the game. What was weird was that everything looked like it would be in real life. I wasn't able to take control of my body as I was walking down the street. I walked and I walked and I walked some more. I kept on walking. I walked some more only to eventually keep walking (man what a boring ass game).  I eventually approached a house that looked like my girlfriend who broke up with me from a month ago. There was a boombox that I pressed play on and it played the Mr. Potato Head Show theme song. Uncontrollably, I danced and did the Head-banging. My girlfriend (or should I say my ex) had threatened to call the cops on me if i didn't leave her property. Lisa had eventually came out with a gun pointed sideways.

Lisa: “ay yo, leave us alone or bust a cap in yo ass”

Unlike last time, I tackled Lisa and took the gun from her. I had shot her with my her own gun. I was shocked to see what I did but I remembered that Barry was probably making me go through with these actions. I had to make a run for it. I stole a car and was on my way out of town. I saw that the police were tailing me as well. I was driving as fast as I could before driving through the front door of a hospital. I fell out of the car, hurt. I jumped up and decided to run up the stairs. I kept running and running and running some more. I got tired and deicied to stop at hospital door where I passed out and fell flat on my chest. There was a game over screen. Than the TV shut off.

I woke up on the floor of the hospital to see an half opened door. I later moved on to the hospital door and see what looked like Barry who was trying to figure out how to plug in the PS2. I laughed at his situation when he turned around and got mad. He then grew spider legs and his eyes turned slivered (like almonds). He jumped at me, only to slip n slide into the room across and hop out the window. I looked out to see a weird guy in a Clippy the paperclip costume. The man had the same bodyshape as the guy who gave me that Official Xbox Magazine.

Speaking of Official Xbox Magazines, he threw it at me through the window, winked and proceeded to crush and step on the Barry-spider hybrid and kill him off for good. I picked up the magazine and read the title and it said:

“Official Xbox Magazine: Issue 84, June 2008”

To be continued……..