A Bad Word

Illustrated by Tim Heitz

"**A Bad Word**" is the seventh chapter of *Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger*.

## Synopsis

Mr. Kidswatter's frustration with doors leads to him declaring "door" a bad word.

## Plot

This chapter opens with Mr. Kidswatter coming to school in his white limo. His chauffeur, David, opens the door and lets Mr. Kidswatter out. Kidswatter thanks David, calling him "James," and David corrects him. When he gets inside, the school secretary, Mrs. Day, hands Mr. Kidswatter a hot cup of coffee. Mr. Kidswatter thanks her, calling her "Miss Night", and walks into his office, as the story explains all this always happens. But he doesn't notice that the door isn't open and bumps right into it, causing him to spill coffee all over his new green suit. Mrs. Day asks why Mr. Kidswatter didn't open the door, and Mr. Kidswatter remarks that it's always open in the morning.

On the thirtieth story, Mrs. Jewls is taking role when she notices Todd is absent. She hopes Todd will be all right, but Joy remarks that Todd is never all right. Dameon looks at Mrs. Jewls, still noticing something different, when Mr. Kidswatter's voice comes over the P.A. system. He says he is going to talk about doors, and has everyone take note of how many are in the building. He reminds everyone to check whenever a door is open, and open it if possible, or have someone else open it for them. Mrs. Jewls is happy to hear the good advice, telling the students it is good to have a principal who cares.

Suddenly, Mr. Kidswatter starts going off on a long-winded rant about how much he hates doors. He claims "door" is a stupid word, and asks who made it up. He seems finished for a second, when Mrs. Jewls simply explains some people don't like doors. Mr. Kidswatter returns, declaring the word "door" to be a bad word and forbids everyone at school from using it. He explains that the word "goozack" should be used instead from that point forward. He gives examples of how to use the new word, and finalizes his decision. The class turns towards the "goozack", when Todd walks inside. Todd explains that he was late because his dad locked his keys in the car, and they had to use a coat hanger to open the door, having not heard the announcement from Mr. Kidswatter earlier. This shocks the other students and Mrs. Jewls makes him write his name under the discipline list for swearing.

## Characters

* David (debut)
* Mr. Kidswatter
* Mrs. Day (debut)
* Mrs. Jewls
* Todd
* Joy
* Maurecia
* Dameon
* Todd's father (debut)

## Trivia

* This is the first and only appearance of David, and the first appearance of Mrs. Day.
* The substitution of "door" for "goozack" later is seen in "Santa Claus," "Why the Children Decided They Had to Get Rid of Mrs. Drazil," and "The Bells of Wayside." Additionally, the cartoon frequently uses this substitution, albeit only with Mr. Kidswatter most of the time.
	+ Conversely, the word "door" is not censored in dialogue in the chapters "Eric, Eric, and What's-His-Name?," "The Closet That Wasn't There," and "Kachooga Boop." In various other instances, the word "door" has appeared in narration.

## Gallery

Joel Schick illustrationAdam McCauley illustration
### Foreign editions

Peter Allen illustration (UK edition)Peter Allen second illustration (UK edition)