Measles

"*Today's lesson is all about measles. That's right, the highly contagious disease that's been easily preventable through vaccines for over half a century.*"
―Erik
Measles is the 94th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. This lesson follows Internet Vaccine Etiquette with Erik. It was released on February 26, 2019.

## Summary

Erik, who clearly has measles, wants to do a lesson on measles for no particular reason even though it's entirely preventable now. He finds a video where parents aren't vaccinating their children and the children are catching measles and dying. He leaves a comment and plugs the lesson's sponsor, Tinycoffins.com.

Erik looks back at his previous lesson on this topic, and finds a bunch of dumb comments. He tries to learn more about measles and finds a video explaining all of the terrible and deadly symptoms. He's upset that his holistic doctor hadn't told him about all of this, not that he has measles. To learn more about measles, he checks out the actual children's book Melanie's Marvelous Measles that talks about how getting measles is good. All of the Amazon reviews are clearly sent by big pharma because they're critical of the idea of giving children measles. Erik leaves a five star review of his own.

Erik takes a more serious tone and admits that he has measles: Jim Measles, his newest Facebook account. He checks out The HighWire with Del Bigtree, a show where a guy that hates kids tries to get them killed by helping them catch measles. Jim Measles leaves him a comment. Then he finds the second most embarrassing thing in Germany's history, a German doctor insisting that measles doesn't exist and offers €100,000 to anyone that can prove him wrong.

Erik buys tickets to see The Lego Movie 2 in theaters and makes a Craigslist ad offering to give kids measles in Seattle.

## Comments

*Um this is bullshit I have the worst case of measles my doctor has ever seen and I'm doin fine. Well I'd be doin a lot better if I didn't have the measles but too late for that, anyway it's all good I just have a 110° fever and my brain's so swollen that a little bit popped out my nose earlier. Either way I'm all good just a little sick nothin I can't handle. That said I did give the measles to my kid and yeah he's dead, so that's a bummer but on the plus side living in Seattle's expensive enough and that little fucker wasn't payin rent.*
- Erik

*This is the most idiotic video I've ever seen in my life. Do some actual research before you start talking*
- Emma Wilson

*Of course I did actual research here's just one of MANY sources I sued and by the way GOOD LUCK refuting this one: https://youtu.be/c1zXgy9znL4?t=10*
- Erik

*More people die from the vaccine than the measles. Some survivors get cancer from vaccines.*
- Oly Lachin

*I know what you mean dude just last week a wild vaccine busted down my front door and attacked the family dog. I'll never forget the look on that vaccine's face as it screamed "FREE PALESTINE" at the top of its lungs before forcing my little brother to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and then injecting me with so many stem cells that I grew a siamese twin out of my gooch. Hey anybody here know how to cure Measles? I'm a preschool teacher and they won't let me back into the building until I stop getting the kids sick. I really need that paycheck so I can buy an iron lung for my son who I never vaccinated.*
- Erik

*Wow this book was sick! Almost as sick as my toddler after I kept throwing him at kids in the ICU of my local hospital because I like to vaccinate old school style. So far he's got measles, smallpox, polio and a bunch of other stuff that he'll never have to worry about catching later in life because he already has it.**Anyway I loved this book, easily my favorite of the year and gave me the inspiration to write my own informational health story entitled "The AIDS Diet: You'll Be Fine!" My young nephew is going to make the illustrations for it just as soon as he gets over his crippling encephalitis that he developed as a result of his measles. I guess it hits these young kids harder or somethin I dunno I don't have measles.**Five stars buy the book watch out for FEMA camps measles is fake I'm a bug chaser here's a ding dong (\_)\_)::::::::::::::::D~~~~ JK that's a vaccine*
- Erik

*Hey folks Jim Measles here, you guys are doin great work. You keep truckin along making sure your kids stay as unvaccinated as possible, we're all really proud of you here at Measles HQ. Our stock is through the roof and we got all you folks to thank for it. Great stuff again my name is Jim Measles, Measles is the name, Measles is the game. Also wanna give a special shout out to my main man Del for keeping heaven crowded with sick kids who made the mistake of trusting their parents! LOL alright remember vaccines are worse than death and if your kid gets the old Jim Measles you should take em to a friend's house or the local mall and spread me around! Hey your kids'll be totally fine trust me I know a thing or two about Measles. JIM MEASLES! Haha alright suck my dick everyone research tower 7*
- Erik

*Damn I haven't seen someone lose $100,000 that fast since I bought all those bitcoins back in December of 2017. Good thing I never vaccinated my kids because that money was supposed to put them through college though they're not gettin there now. Tell you what's way cheaper is a bunch of tiny coffins over at tinycoffins.com buy one get one half price! Anyway last time a video let me down this hard was when my deeply loved teacher showed up in a porno and my dick broke out in chickenpox because she was a substitute for my mother or whatever the fuck this dumb kraut was
talking about? See I was born before dipshits like Jerry here tricked a bunch of gullible parents into raising kids that basically live in dog years. Jimmy Measles one love and you can all suck my fat asshole lemme know if anyone's got a sick crow they can bring over to make me immune to bird flu fuck you I'm a FEMA camp*
- Erik

*Hey my name's Gift Giver Salvia. Do you have a kid who's not vaccinated and you want em to get REAL sick on the old measles? Bring em over to my house I'll put em to the test!*
- Erik

## Video

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