Meowythings to the Rescue!

Meowythings to the Rescue! is the seventh chapter in the Wombles Five.

Later Tara and Venus put Cathy in a cage, not noticing Meowykins coming in under the door.  (She was a very small cat.)  She went through the bars into the cage.  But the wrong cage!  “Hello!” she said.  “Aahh! A talking cat!”  Mrs Peel screamed.  “Huh?  What?” said Meowykins.  “Oh, sorry, I’ve gone to the wrong cage, I came to rescue the queen.”  “You came to rescue Cathy?  And now you’re going away leaving me here to suffer?” replied Mrs Peel, rather angry.  But Meowykins had left.

Another blue cat came into Mrs Peel’s cage.  They were limping slightly and had a rather croaky voice.  “Hello!” they said.  “I’m Meowyskin, and Meowykins should not have an owner!  Do you agree?”  “Um” said Mrs Peel.  “If I do will you get me out of here?”  “Oh ok then” said Meowyskin.  “Then yes I agree with you” said Mrs Peel, but Meowyskin didn’t do anything.  “I’m not exactly sure how to get you out of here.” Then another blue cat came in. They had a deep voice and were singing, “I meow things, I meow things, I meow things, ‘cause I’m a cat!”

“Who are you?” asked Mrs Peel.  “Meowythings! I meow things” said the third cat. “I say things” replied Mrs Peel. “Oh! And what are you?” asked Meowythings.  “A person what did you think I was?” asked Mrs Peel.  “The spirit of a long since dead woman that was burned to death” replied Meowythings.  “Well I’m not!  I’m alive because I am immortal!  Although I was burned badly and would have died otherwise..”  Mrs Peel looked pleadingly at both the cats when saying this.

“Whatever” say Meowyskin and left.  “What you need burned lady is a lovely cat to cuddle!” shouted Meowythings.  Mrs Peel thought that Meowythings had a small moustache and lost their back legs.  But then the blue cat leapt up at Mrs Peel for cuddle.  Meowythings accidentally pressed a tiny green button on Mrs Peel’s immortality device.  Suddenly she felt dizzy and fainted.

Mrs Peel woke up with Meowythings licking her face.  “You’re alive!” shouted Meowythings.  “Of course I am!  I’m immortal!” replied Mrs Peel who noticed that Meowythings definitely did have a small moustache.  “And you’re better!” said Meowythings.  Mrs Peel looked at her hand.  It had perfect skin!  Her whole body was just as it was when she first met Mike.  “You must have saved me from looking like a burned dead body! What did you do?  No!  Don’t tell me!  You leapt up for a cuddle hit me in the stomach, where my immortality device is.” Mrs Peel paused.

She checked the device carefully.  It looked like a belly stud.  It was quite pretty really and had two stones.  One was red and looked like a ruby.  The other green and looked like an emerald.  “The stones!  You pressed a stone!  I think it was the green one.  Was it?”. “Yes the pretty green one that is like my eyes” said Meowythings.  “Well if the green one gives me more life then the red one” Mrs Peel was interrupted by Meowythings who finished the sentence.  “Takes it away!”

Mrs Peel was feeling very strong now after being recharged.  She bent the bars of the cage easily and snuck out.  Before long she found Cathy’s cage.  Cathy wasn’t in it.  “Mrs Peel!” said Cathy behind her with Meowykins at her heels purring.  “How did you get out?” asked Mrs Peel.  Cathy pointed at Meowykins who had keys attached to her collar.  “Oh!” said Mrs Peel.  “How did you get out?” asked Cathy.  Mrs Peel had two iron bars from her cage.  She bent one in half with one hand.  “Oh!” said Cathy looking worried.

Cathy was going to knock out Mrs Peel but now thought better of it.  The two women and cats crept around to find the exit.  Instead they found Venus in a room on her own singing.

*I’m really looking forward to killing Cathy Gale*

*And spray painting Mrs Peel to look so pale*

*With quick drying plaster so she can never move*

*The rock hard plaster is going to be so smooth*

*I’ll paint her to look like a lovely Russian doll*

*Then I’ll bury Cathy and that will be so droll*

Mrs Peel crept up to Venus, reached down to her belly button and pressed the ruby in Venus’ immortality device.  Suddenly the stab wound from Steed all that time ago opened up.  The immortality device came out.  Mrs Peel was going to pocket it but suddenly realised she was stark naked!  Then Cathy realised and took out some of Venus’ clothes from Mrs Peel.  It turned out they were in her bedroom.  The triumphant four then found their way to the exit.

“Where are we now?” asked Cathy.  “The north side of Loch Lomond” replied Mrs Peel.  “How are we going to get to London?” asked Cathy.  “Well how about this?” said Mrs Peel and pulled a grassy cover off of a customised van.  The van had SCAR in big red jagged letters on it.  “It was never used because it’s not very subtle but it is bullet proof and very fast!” Mrs Peel continued.  “Oh!” said Cathy who was now quite glad that Mrs Peel was being friendly.

A shout suddenly rang out into the mist.  “They’ve escaped!  Get them!” It was Tara shouting.  In a second the army of Roy Walker robots were raced towards the fleeing Mrs Peel, Cathy, Meowykins and Meowythings.  Meowyskin was clinging to the bumper of the van.  Cathy put the pedal to the metal and drove away at frightening speed.  “I always drive fast” she said to the others.

The robots were running fast but couldn’t quite match the speed of the van.  “Mrs Peel!  We’re running out of ground to drive on!” shouted Cathy.  “No problem!” said Mrs Peel who was enjoying going fast.  The cats were not, especially Meowyskin.  Mrs Peel flipped a switch and van turned into a submarine as they splashed into the loch.  Now Meowyskin was terrified.  She let go just before the SCAR van plunged into the water.  The robots raced up to her and grabbed her by the tail.  They dragged her back to Tara.

The van emerged from the Loch on the other side.  They found the road and saw two Range Rovers.  Steed was driving the green one with Purdey next to him.  Gambit was in the white one.  All they saw was a van with SCAR written on it.  The windows were blacked out so they didn’t know it was Cathy and Mrs Peel inside!

Purdey got out & grabbed one of the van’s mirrors. Cathy halted & Mrs Peel got out. “Mrs Peel!” said Purdey in surprise. “Have you gone back to SCAR?” “No.” replied Mrs Peel. “This wasn’t subtle enough to use. It just happened to be there after me & Cathy escaped & needed a vehicle.” “Is Cathy in there?” asked Purdey, peering in. “Oh, she is. Steed! Gambit! We’ve found Cathy & Mrs.Peel!” Everyone drove back to London. Once they had all reached Grand Steed Manor-since Cathy was leading the way-Mrs Peel went straight in to find a mirror. Gambit followed her. Cathy, Purdey & Steed didn’t have time to do anything because they heard an awful noise & fell to the ground.

Cathy, Purdey & Steed all woke up & spoke at the same time. “It’s the strange place with more colours!” said Cathy. “It’s that super strange place with 10 more colours!” said Purdey. “It’s the weird place with all 15 colours!” said Steed. “All fifteen?” said Cathy & Purdey. “Anyway, now we’re stuck till we’re taken out!” “No we’re not!” said Steed. “There’s a 15-coloured door which leads out. If we can find a way to jam the machine, we can find it.” “Machine?” said Cathy. “I saw a machine which does all the weird stuff.” Answered Steed. They all got up & actually managed to stand. “Quick, over here!” shouted Purdey after 10 minutes. Steed & Cathy raced over to her. She was by something which gave a signal to a machine. “Your gun!” shouted Cathy. “It’s here somewhere & I think it can jam this!” “Oh, I managed to keep it.” Said Purdey & rammed it into the machinery. The place immediately turned into an ordinary museum.

Suddenly Mrs Peel realised that Cathy, Purdey and Steed had disappeared.  “Where did they go?” she asked.  “I don’t know but why do you want to know?” replied Gambit.  “Well to rescue them obviously!”  “Why do you want to rescue them?”  “What do you mean why?”  Suddenly the ground underneath Gambit opened up and he fell down.  Mrs Peel blinked.  “Um…where did you go?” she said.

Gambit landed in a big room with a TV.  He turned the TV on and it showed Mr Snoodle doing the doodle.  He changed the channel.  Now it showed a weird looking weevil jumping up and down and hitting their head then saying that they were the great Digestives.  Gambit just turned it off then lots of lights came on.  He could now see that there was writing on the wall, but he couldn’t quite read it.  He looked closer and fainted.

He woke up on top of a fell. “I’m not in London anymore!” he said. Suddenly an umbrella came out of the ground and tapped him.  “What?” he said.  “Why did you tap me umbrella?”  The umbrella suddenly opened up, revealing writing on it.  It said, “Dig a hole underneath you and go in it.”  Gambit shrugged and did.  Someone else was there holding the umbrella that had tapped him. “What are you doing here?” asked Gambit. “And in fact, what am I doing here?” The other person pointed to a picture of Mrs Peel on the wall of the underground and then to a picture of a ruby. Gambit wasn’t sure what they meant. He just blinked.  After a while he said, “Why don’t you just talk?”  The other man wrote something on his umbrella and showed it to Gambit.  It said, “I can’t with this metal helmet on and I you are not allowed to know my true identity until you have killed Mrs Peel.”  “Oh” said Gambit.  “But what have rubies got to do with anything?”  The man in the metal mask wrote on his umbrella again.  This time he wrote, “The immortality device idiot! The ruby will take away life!” Gambit finally understood and left.