218: Sure, I'll Consider It: A Phil Lompion and Fatmack Story

## Summary

Locked in Crumplemeyer's office, the group become increasingly suspicious, eventually turning up evidence that apparently shows Crumplemeyer is in control of both sides of the wall and has been manipulating the political situation to his own advantage. They each turn their efforts to escaping the room but all attempts prove futile as Crumplemeyer's magical protection blocks them at every turn. Exhausted and out of ideas, Will suggests an open and honest Q&A session, but Batthwack only wants Will to promise to stay out of Gully's End and when the unstoppable force meets the immoveable object, the whole exercise quickly descends into an argument.

## Synopsis

Batthwack rattles the door handle of Crumplemeyer's office. The door is locked. Will says that it's a good thing he can't leave because it's too dangerous for him to go out. Batthwack is frustrated, saying *"If Pompion would call off the hounds then maybe I wouldn't need to..."* and stops himself from saying any more. Batthwack says it's time to break down the door. Gwen defends Crumplemeyer, saying he's locked the door to keep them safe. Batthwack doesn't agree; he's suspicious and so is Will, though he's more concerned about why Batthwack wants to leave. Batthwack goes over to the window overlooking the factory. The lights are off in the big cavernous space of the factory floor, which is 20 feet down. Gwen says it's weird that Crumplemeyer didn't bring the food he promised and it's been a couple of hours. Mo suggests maybe Will locked the door. Will scoffs at the idea that he's in kahoots with a dotty old guy like Crumplemeyer, who doesn't even know what's going on in his own town. Gwen leaps to his defence again, saying he's a great business man who built this empire; it's just gotten a bit big for him.

Will's face changes as something occurs to him. What if Crumplemeyer is playing a role and in actual fact he's in charge of the whole town? That would mean he's causing all the the drama to benefit himself somehow, but why? Gwen says that he would make money from people passing through the wall. Will's absolutely convinced he's onto something. Mo suggests they search the office. Will asks if Batthwack's with them, or if he's leaving. Batthwack tries the door once again. It feels very solid. Gwen casts *Detect Magic* and the entire room glows.

Will looks around for anything unusual in Crumplemeyer's working space. His eye is drawn to one set of drawers, offset in a row of counters underneath the plate glass window and he goes over to take a closer look. The first drawer is full of mouth harps which he shows to Raphina. She can tell they're all different types and sizes, for different sounds or modes. She picks a couple up to look at them and underneath is a scrap of paper. Upon closer inspection they see that on it is the signature of Ricardo Ulysses!

Will compares the signature to the paper airplane letter that Ricardo sent them, and Gwen reminds everyone that Ricardo used magic paper for the note, which is another connection to Crumplemeyer. Did he trade the signature for the magic paper and are the two of them friendly? They continue to search the drawers. The next one down is full of finger nail clippers. The one underneath that is a filing cabinet style, containing a few thin files in. Will takes them out and begins rifling through them. The first file is titled *"Cliffside budget report"*, and contains a boring looking history/archive of budget reports. The second file however says *"Waterside budget report"*. Will laughs and holds it up. Looking through it he can see it's a very recent full report for Waterside. Feeling very pleased with himself he shows everyone. Gwen, doubt beginning to creep into her voice, says *"Oh."*

Gwen says she's starting to get uncomfortable about all this. Battwack taps on the window to get a sense of how thick the glass is. It appears to be normal plate glass. He goes over and stands by the only chair in the room. Will can tell what he's thinking and says smashing the window would draw too much attention. Will pockets one of the mouth harps and one of the nail clippers and Raphina takes four mouth harps.

Everyone's suspicions are now raised and Gwen goes to check the wardrobe. It's full of suits identical to the one that Crumplemeyer was wearing. She has a poke around but can't find anything else unusual. Raphina rips the signature in half to see if magic paper has any unusual qualities, but it just rips as normal. Gwen pulls the wardrobe over and it crashes to the ground to the sound of splintering wood and shattering glass. Mo and Batthwack help her lift it up and they see that the carpet underneath is wet. Inside the wardrobe they can now see a hidden panel has been knocked loose and a number of broken bottles are strewn about. One bottle is intact, it's Bufflin whiskey. It appears that Gwen has located Crumplemeyer's secret bar!

Will continues to look through the files. The next one is labelled *"Puzzle notes"* and contains something about looking into the spelling of the word "ibis". The next one is hand written notes with various ideas scrawled down, fragments of thoughts. A couple of phrases catch Will's eye: *"Paper prices to be raised next quarter 15%"* Another: *"More research needed for manipulation of wall access gate rates"* Next: *"Cliffside water shortages have proven effective. Possibly increase frequency. Consider benefits of predictable vs unpredictable"* Will is giddy. He doesn't seem angry any more. He tells everyone he's found even more evidence that Crumplemeyer is in control of the whole town and is manipulating everyone. Batthwack has been looking out the window onto the factory floor. There are no lights on and it's dark out there. He searches around in the room looking for other ways out, but can't find anything. He notices the chair has a pocket on the side of it and there's some paper sticking out. He points it out to Will who comes straight over to look. It's a single sheet of paper, but it's strangely stiff like it's on a clipboard, although it isn't. It's more scrawled notes. Underlined at the top it says *"Recent interlopers"*. Then it contains bullet points: *"\*Magically powerful \*Unpredictable \*Connections? \*Asset? Famous? Hireable? Use to unite or sow dissent? \*Major destruction in* Tomorrow, Today! *holding facility: Cause unknown \*Last known location: Flow Station A. Expected in Lichen Cave soon"*

Will tells everyone what the notes say. Now he's really worried, telling everyone they're in danger and all this must be some kind of mind game. Crumplemeyer must know they'd find all this stuff. He suddenly stops speaking and casts *Message* to speak telepathically to Mo, Batthwack, Raphina and Gwen. He says they need to decide if they want to stay here and rest in order to get their magical strength back up or if they want to get out of here without too much of a scene. Raphina reminds them there's always her *Tiny Hut*, if the worst comes to the worst! Gwen puts her hand on Batthwack's shoulder and casts *Cellestial Resistance*. The wonderful smell of spiced vanilla wafts through the air and Will, Raphina, Mo and Batthwack all feel a little stronger. Batthwack suggests leaving town and Gwen says she has no problem with that. She doesn't know who to trust any more. She wonders if even Aleister had been a plant? In a *Message* to everyone, Will suggests they could pretend they didn't find anything, but Raphina fears they're probably being watched right now and the others agree. Gwen says she's having a hard time trusting people in this town and Will says he doesn't even trust Batthwack. Mo defends Batthwack, saying he's the leader of the group! Will, offended by this, briefly reveals his crown to Mo.

Suddenly Batthwack hefts the chair onto the counter and slides it at the window. It thunks heavily against the window, but it doesn't break. Will screams at him, thinking Batthwack is threatening him because he revealed his crown. Paying no attention to Will, Batthwack reaches up, touching his head with one hand. With the other he makes a throwing action and three waves of purple crackling energy flow out from his hand, smashing into the window. Will screams as the three rays bounce back off the window at crazy angles and somehow miss everyone, smashing into different parts of the room. *"What was that!"* shouts Will as the dust settles and various cabinet doors hang off their hinges.

Batthwack says he seems to have new powers. Will confronts him, asking what happened in his cell, but Batthwack only says he spoke to Captain Clockface. Will tests his *Eldritch Blast* and it ricochets around the room again. Gwen asks if they can please stop. Gwen suggests calling Moondreamer, but Will is nervous about it. He's more serious than normal and his mind is clearly preoccupied with Batthwack's new powers. Batthwack yells and launches the chair at the window again. It bounces back and he is forced to dodge out of the way as the chair splinters into pieces. Raphina tries calling Melyugamar three times and nothing happens.

They're running out of options so Gwen takes Kowl over to the corner and very apologetically asks if they can contact Moondreamer for help. Kowl replies *"I get it! I get it!"* and everyone is shocked to hear them talk. Kowl admonishes Gwen for always apologising. They concentrate, but try as they might, they can't seem to reach Moondreamer. Raphina is intrigued about Kowl. Gwen explains they're her familiar and her link to her patron. Raphina looks at Pippa and raises her eyebrows, but nothing happens.

Will goes into a corner and grabs Curtis' dagger, but again, nothing happens. He has a look at all the items he found in the *Tomorrow, Today!* office and picks out the wand for closer inspection. He can't tell much about it, but notes there are a few different animals carved on it and it's clearly magical. He shows it to Raphina, whispering to her that he's not good at magic. She can't tell anything about it either. Frustrated, Will looks up to the ceiling and assuming that Crumplemeyer is listening in, shouts abuse at him, saying they've figured him out.

Gwen has an idea and asks Batthwack for the locked book. She says if they could unlock it, then they'd be able to jump in and escape, but Will's not very keen on that. Raphina is totally ready and tries to jump immediately, before Gwen reminds her they need to unlock it first. Unfortunatly she can't decipher the new symbols. She wonders if there's something in the room to help. Raphina tries to jimmy the lock with a mouth harp plucker, to no avail. Gwen recalls that last time all they had to do was recite the three words the symbols represented. She asks Selenia if she knows, but she doesn't recognise any of them.

The group begin trying anything they can think of. Raphina casts her *Find the Path* spell, but this just reveals that the most direct route out of the room is through the door. Will begins to search for secret doors/passageways, but as he approaches Batthwack, who's still sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, he tries to get a closer look at his crown. Batthwack watches him suspiciously as he gets closer. Will switches tack and sits down across from Batthwack. *"What are you doing Batthwack, waiting to die?"* he says. Batthwack says he's just waiting for inspiration. Raphina comments that Hilula, Mo and Selenia are starting to look tired. Weirdly, Gwen doesn't feel that tired. Mo says it's starting to get late and curls up on some pillows.

Batthwack wonders out loud if they can just break through the wall, but the reality is beginning to dawn on Will that there's no way out. He suggests perhaps they change their approach. They should calm down, talk to each other and get on the same team so they can figure this out together. That's the only way they can beat Crumplemeyer. Batthwack says he wishes Will would tell Curtis to stand down. If anyone's not on the same team, it's Will. Will says the reason they don't trust each other is that they don't know enough about each other. He suggests a little sharing time. Batthwack he can ask him a question, but then he gets to ask Batthwack one. Batthwack is silent for a long time while he thinks about this. Eventually he agrees, but says *"How do I know you're going to tell me the truth?* Will suggests he cast *Zone of Truth* and Batthwack agrees.

Batthwack casts the spell and Will does his best not to flinch as he voluntarily succumbs to it. Gwen also willingly lets the spell take effect on her. Selena and Hilula both try to resist it, but fail. Batthwack lets Will know and he's very surprised, saying *"They tried? I suspected one of them!"* Batthwack secretly resists the effects of the spell without letting Will know. After another long silence Batthwack asks Will what he asked Curtis to do. Will says he asked Curtis what information he knew about Gully's End and Yarjerit. Batthwack asks a second question, did Will send Curtis or anyone else to Gully's End? Will says he should have a chance to ask a question first, but Batthwack insists he should answer this question first. Will begrudgingly answers, saying that he didn't tell anyone to go to Gully's End. Batthwack says he has one more question and then Will can ask, but Will is now really annoyed with this one-way exchange. Batthwack asks Will *"Next chance you have to write to Curtis, will you ask him to stay out of Gully's End?"* Will is feeling like he's been conned and gets up and walks away into the corner. Batthwack asks if Will has a question, and Will says he doesn't want to play this game any more. He's highly suspicious of Batthwack, his crown and his new spells. He says they're very similar to those Will was granted when he made a deal with the Swirly Man. He accuses Batthwack of making a deal with a dark power too. Batthwack says he'll answer that question, and then says *"I did not make a deal with the Swirly Man."* Batthwack asks Will to answer the other question and Will refuses.

Batthwack says this conversation is over and Will agrees. He says this group isn't a group. He slumps in the corner with his arms crossed. Raphina is upset with this outburst and doesn't agree. Gwen agrees with Raphina, but Will says they have different definitions. Raphina says Will has trust issues. Batthwack dispels the *Zone of Truth* spell. He asks Will to tell him the truth and answer the last question. Will digs his heels in and says he trusts Batthwack even less after the events of the last day or so. He's thinking of Batthwack being so guarded about how he got the crown and suddenly having new powers. He goes on to say that there's an aspect to his personality that they don't know about. *"I don't like it when people tell me what to do, okay?"* He explains he's been pushed around his whole life, been told what to do, how to speak. *"I'm not gonna let you tell me what to do."* Batthwack suggests maybe he can ask Will to do it, but Will says he just doesn't trust Batthwack and none of them should. He also says that he knows they don't trust himself either and that's good. Gwen and Raphina both say they do actually trust him, in the sense they know he'll do the right thing. Will disagrees saying he only helped her to mess with Ricardo. Batthwack says Will should ask him a question. Will refuses. Batthwack's tone changes, as he clearly becomes more aggravated, shouting *"ASK ME A QUESTION!"*. Will remains stubborn, refusing to be intimidated.

There's a steady gaze between Will and Batthwack. Gwen appeals to Will, suggesting he just ask a question to break this deadlock. Will can't see the point without the *Zone of Truth* in place, but after a lot of coercion he does ask Batthwack if he made a deal with another dark power. *"I didn't make any deal."* he replies after another pause. Will isn't satisfied, recognising his own question-dodging technique of giving very vague answers. After everything they've seen, he's convinced the dark powers are at play.

Will looks at Raphina's and *Message*s her *"That doesn't mean that the dark powers weren't forced on him."* Batthwack tries the same question again, but rephrases it. *"When you write to Curtis, would you consider telling him to stay away from Gully's End? Don't send anyone to Gully's End"* and Will responds *"Would I consider it? Sure, I'd consider it."* In full sarcasm mode Will says he's glad they're such a solid unit now.

Gwen asks if the others are tired. Raphina says they're emotionally tired, but not sleepy. Gwen tells the other it's the same with her, which is weird. Batthwack says *"We're still trapped in here."* He stands up and asks Hilula for the axe. He begins hacking at the wall, initilly making huge dents in the plaster, before hitting something hard behind. He starts ripping into the wall, revealing wood behind the plaster. He carries on hacking with the axe, but finds that he cannot make a mark on the wood. Will says they're in a magical cage and wonders if this is Morrow's Inlet's real prison. Wondering about Crumplemeyer's notes, Gwen asks who he might be referring to when he wrote "Famous?". Raphina suggests Ricardo, but Will's sure it's referring to their group. Batthwack gives Hilula the axe back and then sits back down in the middle of the room.

Will avoids him and goes over to the door. He casts *Polymorph* on himself and transforms himself into a cockroach. He scurries under the small crack beneath the door, out of view from the others. His way is blocked by something solid and he can't go any further so he waits there and listens to the group's discussion. Everyone wonders if he's made it out. Gwen says he seems upset and Raphina agrees, saying she's never seen him become a cockroach before. Batthwack wonders if he was too tough on Will, but doesn't understand why Will wouldn't answer. Raphina says Batthwack's anger has been out of control lately. Batthwack asks them if they think he's different and Raphina says it's just that he's yelled at Will few times which is unlike him. She says they both kind of blew it.

Batthack says Will's letter writing is threatening and he's worried Will's going to get involved in something he really shouldn't be a part of. Raphina asks Batthwack if he's going back to Gully's End and he says that's a great question. He says he might go back, but first he's promised to escort Will back to Tivoli. Gwen asks if something really bad happens to him in Gully's End. Batthwack says he was made to leave, but he thinks things are different now. Gwen probes further, asking if he was banished because he hurt someone. Batthwack says that sometimes his clan would have them hurt someone for the good of the clan, and maybe he should have. He says he thinks he wants to go back now. Gwen says perhaps his clan wasn't the best place to be if they're making him hurt people. Batthwack explains he was a soldier. He's been thinking lately that you can't change the past. Gwen agrees, saying you can make the future better though.

Batthwack says that he's going to stick to his promise, but as soon as he's been to Tivoli he'll go back to Gully's End. Gwen offers to help him. Batthwack's not sure if the situation there might be fragile, but he says he's stronger than he's ever been and can bend things to his will if he needs to. Raphina thinks this is an unusual turn of phrase and asks what he means. Batthwack says they've been through a lot, conquered Strahd and overcome the dark powers and they're definitely stronger than before. He says he'd like to see his tribe try and force him out now. Raphina is feeling suspicious now too. Gwen says that him keeping his promise shows the good he has in him. Batthwack just looks down to the floor, deep in thought.

## Trivia

* The episode title is a combination of a quote from Will/KT replying to Batthwack's question after much arguing: *"When you write to Curtis, would you consider telling him to stay away from Gully's End? Don't send anyone to Gully's End."* *"Would I consider it? Sure, I'd consider it."* replies Will. Raphina says *"Yaaaaay! They had a conversation guys!"* A few moments later when Will's wondering who Crumplemeyer's notes are referring to, he says it must be them, unless there's another group. Eric suggests the one with Phil Lompion and Fatmack. KT completes the set with Bluffina and Glen!

## References

1. ↑ See episode 198: Ulysses "Fart" Ulysses Was a President
2. ↑ In game they all receive 9 temporary hit points
3. ↑ Normally Batthwack touches his holy symbol to cast magic, so this is different!
4. ↑ Will retrieved a bunch of unusual items from the packs they found in the rooms above the cell blocks in the *Tomorrow, Today!* office: an amber hydra, a small golden sphere with a pair of crumpled silver wings, an amulet on an iron chain crafted from an arrowhead that would be suitable for a giant, two unlabelled potions, a wand, and a ring that he thinks may be magical. See episode 211: Disco is Dead, Batthwack!
5. ↑ See episode 205: Dew Skidoo, We Can Too!
6. ↑ Yarjerit is the name of Batthwack's clan.
7. ↑ They've heard people talking about them, for example Chilchirah mentioned Savnok the Inscrutable, and Murray in the tavern in Norton went into a strange trance and started repeating the phrase *"Six Rivers is in peril! Fragments of depraved gods have been set loose! Change abounds! Beware! Beware!*"
8. ↑ Hilula was unarmed when the party first met her (presumably because her lizardfolk captives took away any weapons she had), so Batthwack gave her a battleaxe (a magical battleaxe effective against plants) that he retrieved from the Gulthias Tree on Yester Hill. See episode 43: The Patriarchy Tree.