recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
A Fin in Time - Part 8

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Assassinate a herring. A herring leader, probably the one wearing a hat.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
The Summit of the Southern Kingdoms

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
De-Ritualizing - Part 1

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Gotta Get Up To Get Down

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Make Hapless Heroes Chewy Vitamin Gummies and with each character, only like those horrible jelly beans, they are flavored like each character. I can imagine that Boris is going to be like bubblegum. I don't want to know what Hobblet will taste like, but at least if you even have to suffer through the taste of Hobblet you're still getting your daily dose of vitamins.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Sir Shipsalot Sails South

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
A Fin in Time - Part 25 - Emodroncy

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Adopt a llama and teach it to cook lasagna, and that's it

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
The Ghost

*"He hit again last night. Two dead in the street."
"Who?"
"Ghost Rider."*
―Felix and Quake***The Ghost*** is the first episode of the fourth season of the television series *Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.,* and the beginning of the *Ghost Rider* pod.

## Synopsis

Ghost Rider is coming, and S.H.I.E.L.D. will never be the same.
Door Troubles

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Spirit(ed) Away

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Break into The Ben & Jerry's in Vermont, and where they are coming up with a new ice cream flavor you will replace all of their research with Hapless Heroes: Southwind Cookie Dough, Dilbertrum's Delight, Zero Zebra Stripes, Boris Berry. Come up with a flavor that gives a great homage to the Hapless Heroes, and push it. Just get it done without any of their help. Just to create the flavor, put all the ingredients in a big batch, and then process, and produce it, and send it to all the stores.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Smash Cut to Calamity - Part 1

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

FOR FUCK'S SAKE GO GET VACCINATED. Then tell all your friends. In the vaccination clinic stand up and yell "I love Hapless Heroes"

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
A Fin in Time - Part 20 - Ahead of Schedule

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Write a series of novels about the dolphin boy that wants to become the Grand Wizard of the KKK to reform the organization from the inside. (This has been VETOED by Fran.) (My note: Zach has lost his fucking mind...again)

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
The Hapless Crew

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
EPISODE 100 - The Big Event

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
A Fin in Time - Part 23 - Pros and Con-vergences

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Make a banana cream pie and hide a QR code, that leads to a link to our podcast, in the bottom of it and hide outside the residence of the Prime Minister of Estonia, that's right, Stenbock House, when the Prime Minister is leaving her residence throw the pie into her face and run away, and try to plan it outright so that the pie tin slides down her face in a cartoonish manner, the QR code is revealed.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Objectives and Agendas

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Good Intentions vs Pure Evil - Part 1

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Pose as an expert on cuteness and bring a basket full of puppies and kittens onto your local morning news segment and while the hosts may be distracted look towards the camera and pinch on your cheeks in morse code "Listen to Hapless Heroes"

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Premature Evacuation - Part 1

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Good Cop, Bad Cop

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
A Fin in Time - Part 34 - Facting the Future Pt. 2

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Bury yourself in a compost pile and when someone comes out to put some more compost on the compost pile emerge from it and say in a posh uptight accent "Hi. I'm a big worm and I listen to the Hapless Heroes Podcast, because I am worm and we have great taste in podcasts."

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Spooktacular Special 2020 - Part 2

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

You wanna just gobble us up, Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and it's the perfect opportunity to get with friends, family, fellowship, overeating, maybe you're local sports teams doing sports things can be observed. Take the opportunity whenever possible during table conversation to bring up the Hapless Heroes Podcast. Make sure it is a Thanksgiving no one will ever forget, by pounding it into their subconscious, convert your family, bring them to us.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
A Fin in Time - Part 19 - Information Overload

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Take the theme song for Family Matters and make it about hummingbirds and be sure to mention our podcast's name, Hapless Heroes Podcast An Original D&D Campaign, and make it go viral or something, I dunno, sprinkle a little magical pixie dust and make Elon Musk buy it for 44 billion dollars. Make sure to juice it up, you know, and I guess promote our podcast that way. That seems like it makes sense.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Shards of Time

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

You're gonna get a gigantic tub of margarita mix and you're going to find the nearest above ground pool in your area and you're gonna dump all that into the pool, you know, a gigantic pool margarita, clean it of toxic chemicals first, or don't, you do you, when someone obviously inevitably asks you "What you are doing to my pool?" you'll be like "I'm making a giant margarita to celebrate my favorite podcast The Hapless Heroes"

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Hapless Recap: "It's My Party and I'll Scry if I Want To"

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Heaven Under Siege - Part 1

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Catch a big ol' fish and make like a real fish, Big Mouth Billy Bass, Big Bass Billy Mouth, and you're going to make one with a big ol' fish and you're gonna go to your local bar and their Big Mouth Billy Bass Mouth, if they have one, and if they'd don't, just put yours up on the wall, and it's going to be a real fish and you're gonna make it just eject its head from the wall, wait, eject is the wrong word, well that is up to you, and then have the sound of our podcast just emanate from it's fish neck, and if you want, just have it turn its head, but no fuck that, have it shoot the head off, eject the head off then, make the sound of our podcast come from the fish anus, or whatever it has. Who knows?

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Strategic Assets

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
A Fin in Time - Part 2

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Form a ragtag group of tornado/storm chasers and rove throughout the American West and try to foil your rival group of hi-tech hi-brow over-funded storm chaser and take your little machine to chase the storms and hatch your little soda can cut out propellers pieces of it and send thousands of flash drives with our podcast inside into the tornado of your choice, and have them flung out across America, for the country, and perhaps the world to listen to and enjoy. Go for the F5 tornado.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Lighthouse Intern-lude - Part 2

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Spooky Special - Monster Party Monster Mash - Part 5

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
A Growing List of Problems

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Write the Great American Novel, not just like a great american novel, like The Mythical Great American Novel that everyone has been chasing for years, don't think about how everyone else has been failing at it for years. You know, just go out and fucking do it, right. It's like Looney Tunes where, you know, if Wily Coyote doesn't know he can't do it and he just keeps running past the edge of the cliff. Do that, but in literary form, write the Great American Novel and then in the liner notes say something about listening to the Hapless Heroes Podcast.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
International Cooperation

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
A Fin in Time - Part 3

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Buy a telescope and search the heavens for a constellation that looks like a meatball sub, and when you find one, you know what to do. Eat that thing, eat the stars, eat the constellation, go full galactis, extra gravy, just like mama made

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
The Heroes of Telduria

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Spire Showdown - Part 3

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

We're animal lovers here on this show, and if you're an animal lover. Take two domesticated whatever type of animal you choose, what you have around you, whatever is available, that you feel safe training, and being a humanitarian in the way of making sure these animals are well trained and, well taken care of, and that could be anything, birds, rodents, reptiles of some kind, but you create this sort of ecology around where you are located wherever you may be listening to this, make sure that it plays this on loop while you are taking care of these animals and sort of sculpt their personalities, if you will, sort of adapt or associate what their behavior might match one our heroes and then release them into the wild, and the most appropriate wilderness to release them into. Certainly we're not talking any sort of urban areas, we want indigenous wetlands, we want deciduous forest, or what have you, and just know that nature too loves and respect the kindness of the Hapless Heroes. (Also bonus points if you use the animals that you have trained to do other things within the previous if you really love us)

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
The Kwintatorship

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Plane of (Fore)Shadow - Part 1

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Speaking With the Supreme

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Secrets and Sewage

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
De-Ritualizing - Part 2

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Cut My Bard Into Pieces

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Make the spiciest meatball and feed it to a nun and film her blast off to outer space due to her flatulence thereafter and we want the video, and when eventually this person, definitely, will be on the news. They will say "Why the fuck did you do this? You made the spiciest meat ball ever, and you fed it to a nun" then therefore flying nun, and they'll say "Why, but why?", and you will say "Because I was told to do so by a stupid, stupid man who is on my favorite podcast, Hapless Heroes."

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Dark City Tarantis - Part 1

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Scrawl an overly specific review of our podcast onto the wall of a bathroom stall and to even out your karma plant a tree after that. Even if you don't do the overly specific review, plant a tree anyways.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
A Fin in Time - Part 12 - Ad Infinitum

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Train a snow leopard to smoke a pipe and wear a mexican sombrero and put a little electronic voice box around his neck, and give him like a very dignified sweater vest, and make people believe that he has sentient thoughts, and he is very good at writing poetry, and he is a very stand up intellectual, and get him on Opera, and you'll be speaking through the voice box, it'll be radio controlled, and make it so he, or she, will be interviewed on Opera, this very dignified looking snow leopard, and when Opera asks him how the snow leopard balances work and family say, "Well, it's simple really. As a snow leopard, I just simply listen to Hapless Heroes Podcast."

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Hobblet Returns!

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Dark City Tarantis - Part 7

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Make an overhead project presentation for how to carve potatoes into the shapes of the celestial object in the sky: like the moon, the sun, and saturn and pluto. And show that to a class of third graders and hand them the potatoes and have them make their potato solar systems and bake them up real nice and, yeah, enjoy. Don't even promote our podcast at the end of that. Just go for it

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Star Struck

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

I would like you to develop some way to make a bacon onion ring. This has been an idea that has been rattling around my head for a couple of years and I haven't really landed on a good process. Do you, can you cut the onion and then wrap the bacon around the onion in the ring and then toothpick it somehow and batter it, I don't know. Develop some process where I can eat an onion ring that also has like crispy bacon in it. I don't know. I want to see that. Do that.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
The Lighthouse of Legrodex - Part 2

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
A Fin in Time - Part 24 - Aurora Convergialis

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Get a person from Georgia, either the state or the country, to go into a dramatic valley of some sort and grow some really good looking citrus fruits, that's right a Georgian Gorgeous Orange Gorge, just do that. Goodbye. That's it.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
The Master Will Be Displeased - Part 4

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Make a Teldurian cookbook, of course it has to be based on Pregnart's recipes, and include all of the best ones from the cocktail sausages to the pizza subs, or meatball subs. Make sure you have Pregnart's chicken noodle soup in there. The ice cream sundae has to be included, all the different desserts, and then sell that and all the proceeds go to help Mogogol, or endangered frogs, are fine.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Frankie Wilde and the Wilde Bunch Minus Frankie Wilde With Special Guest Frankie Wilde, Featuring Pregnart - Part 1

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Striking the Right Tone Part 2

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Please join me in my campaign to help people stop saying, "Goldendoodle", and start saying "Golden Retroodle." Because, this is the proper portmanteau between Golden Retrieve and Poodle.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Spooky Special - Monster Party Monster Mash - Finale

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].