Up & Down

Album artwork

**Up & Down**, also known as **Up and Down**, is a song by GIRLI. Released on April 5, 2019, it serves as the 9th and final track of her debut studio album, Odd One Out.

## Background

Up & Down saw its live debut sometime between early and mid 2018. In an April 2019 interview with The Line of Best Fit, she stated:

> There's a song on the album [Odd One Out] called 'Up and Down', which is just about having mood swings, but this is me and if you want me around you can take it or leave it. Basically like euphoric, that song – I get up and I get down but I love myself for it, and actually at the time, I fucking hated myself for it. I felt like I was ruining everyone's life around me for being so erratic and ruining my partner's life and ruining my friends' life and my family's life, so that song actually comes from so much pain.
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> But when I performed it live for the first time I was like 'oh, this is actually a really happy song', weirdly, I think a lot of the time that happens, when you go in with a sad subject but it comes out sounding happy.
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A few days later, she told Gay Times:

> I am way too open. I literally meet someone and five minutes later I will tell them my whole life story. I am on antidepressants and it took me a few months of being on them where only my mum and my partner knew. I don't think people should be ashamed to be on them, but I still felt a little bit that I didn't want to tell people because maybe they will judge me for it, or they think that I will be acting differently for it.
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> I love my pink hair, I am very proud of my sexuality and I am very proud of my feminist beliefs and political opinions, but there are still areas of myself where I am really deeply not on the surface, ashamed of in a way. My mental health is constantly up and down and I beat myself up about that a lot.
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In a May 2019 Facebook post, after the song's music video was released, GIRLI wrote:

> thankyou everyone who's watched and shared Up & Down music video ❤️ that song didn't stop being relevant to me after i wrote it, my mental health is an ongoing up & down ride, but reading all of your comments on the video sharing your stories and experiences of mental health has really touched me & made me feel less alone.
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## Theme

In a July 2018 live performance, prior to Up & Down's release, GIRLI introduced the song:

> Can I play another new song? *[Crowd cheers]* This song is about mental health. It's about how some days I feel really, really good, and some days I feel really, really shit. And other days I feel good, and then shit, and good and shit at the same time, and other days I don't know what the fuck I feel. But I wrote this song because it's okay to feel that way, and when you feel that way, you feel like you're the only one, but you're not the only one. So this is called 'Up & Down'.
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## Trivia

* In a September 2021 interview with Underground England, when asked to share an anecdote about one of her songs, GIRLI said:

> I have a song called 'Up and Down' where the first lyric is 'I'm a fat giraffe who likes pea soup'. I've seen fans online try to decode its hidden meaning and honestly there is no meaning. In the studio where I was writing the song there was a big stuffed toy giraffe with a t-shirt on it that said 'I like pea soup' – so I put it in the song.
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## Videos

* Music Video
* Karaoke Video

 **Production company** | Low Key Films

### Additional Credits

* Assistant director - **Joe Starrs**
* Director of photography - **Ezequiel Romero**
* Additional camera - **Anil Duru**
* 2nd additional camera - **Courtney Andrews**
* Gaffer - **Giovanni Mattei**
* Production design - **Emily Megson**
* Grade - **Peter Oppersdorff**
* Stylist - **Hannah Teare**
* Glam Team - **Yusuke**, **Sonia Bhogal**

### Behind the Scenes

"can you guess what i've got for you next week based on this silly picture???"Click for full version
### Background

On her site, director Vasilisa Forbes explained:

> This one-take style video was inspired by a moment GIRLI had leaving a show and realising she just wanted to break down and cry in the girls loos. The reality that stars are supposed to show a constant brave face is seeing a new realisation; we are all human. Mental health issues need to be talked about in our society, and with 'Up and Down', GIRLI addresses how this occurs in its constant cycles. In our video, GIRLI battles her imaginery demons - the stage hands, who appear as the thoughts that plague her, pulling her either up into positivity or down into despair. We used a theatrical stage-set as our theme. Paper props suggested this perishable world that is itself inconstant, and artificial.
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In a May 2019 Facebook post, GIRLI stated:

> this song is about my unpredictable mental health. it's about battling with your own personal devil and angel inside your own head 24/7, so i wanted the video to be like i'm inviting you inside my own head for a whistle-stop tour of the battle. but we made all the props out of paper, and the setting a film studio, to show how it's all fake and made up inside your head, and somehow it's more powerful than what your reality is telling you sometimes. the dancers in the video are like my lil nuerons pulling my thoughts this way and that 😅
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 **Length** | 3:25

## Official Versions

 ▶ | Alt. Mix (Features decay effect applied on "and I get down" vocal prior to post-chorus) | YouTube

## Lyrics

[Verse 1]

I'm a fat giraffe who likes pea soup

I'll never be as cool as you

You only think I'm funny

'Cause you're high as fuck on mushrooms

I'm the best thing you've ever seen

A karaoke teenage dream

My hair looks great and I'm a queen

You wanna grow up just like me

I'm a scaredy cat, a drowned rat

My life is going pretty bad

I think about the future way too much

And yes it drives me mad

I'm a Basquiat, a Patti Smith

I'm Venus with her perfect tits

Today's the best day, I'm the shit

I'm never getting over it

[Pre-Chorus 1]

I don't wanna lose my mind

So I'll just pretend I'm fine

[Chorus]

I get up, I get down

You should like it if you want me around

Ask me how have I been

I've been lots of ways, who am I today?

I get up, I get down

I get up

And I get down

[Verse 2]

I got belly rolls and spots on tap

Can't skate a ramp, can't write a rap

Get dumped every couple months

Hate love, I can't get over that

I'm the best catch in the big blue sea

You'll wanna fry me up, eat me

The hottest girl you'll ever see

The only girl you'll ever need

[Pre-Chorus 2]

My world is, my world is on fire

I can't go to sleep but I'm tired

Too much ammunition to fire

The world is, the world is on fire

[Chorus]

I get up, I get down

You should like it if you want me around

Ask me how have I been

I've been lots of ways, who am I today?

I get up, I get down

I get up

And I get down

[Post-Chorus]

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh (I get up, I get down)

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh (I get up)

[Bridge]

My world is, my world is on fire

I can't go to sleep but I'm tired

Too much ammunition to fire

The world is, the world is on fire

My world is, my world is on fire

I can't go to sleep but I'm tired

Too much ammunition to fire

The world is, the world is on fire

[Extended Chorus]

I get up, I get down

You should like it if you want me around

Ask me how have I been

I've been lots of ways, who am I today?

I get up, I get down

I get up

I get up, (I get up) I get down (I get down)

You should like it if you want me around (Like it if you want me around)

Ask me how (Ask me how) have I been (Have I been)

I've been up and down, kinda up and down

I get up, (I get up) I get down (I get down)

I get up

And I get down

## Credits

### Personnel

* Vocals - **GIRLI**
* Backing vocals - **GIRLI**, **Fast Friends**

### Technical

* Writers - **GIRLI**, **Fast Friends**
* Producers, recording engineers, programmers: **Fast Friends**
* Mixer - **Adam Hawkins**
* Mastering engineer - **Joe LaPorta**

## References

1. ↑ https://www.setlist.fm/setlist/girli/2018/epic-studios-norwich-england-7becb698.html
2. ↑ https://youtu.be/kbvImGf8aNk
3. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20210614191325/https://www.thelineofbestfit.com/features/interviews/girl-debut-album-reintroducing-her-to-world-interview
4. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20201128172843/https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/culture/girli-is-using-her-platform-to-ignite-conversations-around-feminism-sexuality-and-mental-health
5. ↑ https://www.facebook.com/girlimusic/photos/a.1675097046049956/2678637119029272
6. ↑ https://youtu.be/kbvImGf8aNk?t=17
7. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20220705132501/https://underground-england.com/artist-girli
8. ↑ https://www.facebook.com/girlimusic/photos/a.1675097046049956/2670614469831537
9. ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20201020035111/https://vasilisa.tv/GIRLI-Up-and-Down
10. ↑ https://www.facebook.com/girlimusic/videos/184770972428885

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