Ted Sapsen

> Even 'ordinary' basalt has the most spectacular origins. It's far more exciting than most people.
>
> Ted Sapsen

**Ted Sapsen** is the fourteenth bear the player meets after arriving on Cozy Grove Island. He is a Forest Spirit, referred to as the Rock Bear.

Ted's area is located in the northeastern corner of the island, northeast of Clyde's area.

## Appearance

Ted appears to be entirely made of stone and covered with green moss. A couple of mushrooms are growing behind his right ear.

The following landmarks are located in Ted's area: an enormous stone bear statue, bear faces carved in rock, a stack of huge boulders, a boulder, some crystal rocks, and several graves.

## Biography

Ted Sapsen is a unique bear because he simply will not open up. Charlotte Pine says that while she was alive and a Spirit Scout, she could never figure out Ted Sapsen.

Ted loves rocks and knows every type by heart. Ted is one with nature and does not care for chitchat.

## List of quests

Every day, Ted Sapsen has a chance to give the player a quest, provided he has no quest active. The quest can be started by speaking to Ted Sapsen.

If Ted Sapsen is ghostly blue and his area is not colored, he will give the player a story quest. If Ted Sapsen is colored but his area is not, he will give the player a daily quest. If both Ted Sapsen and his area are colored, he will not give any quests, but the player can still converse with him to listen to some gossip or occasionally advance his story.

Story quests are untimed and advance Ted Sapsen's story, allowing the player to learn more about him, fill his heart meter, and restore his memories. Some story quests require the player to collect a lot of resources or help other bears to get quest items. The story quests often give spirit logs as rewards.

Non-story quests have a time limit, do not provide any story development, and give random rewards. There are no penalties for letting a timed quest expire.

Some quests require the player to find items hidden on the island. The hidden objects spawn after the player accepts the quest, with hints on their location provided in the quest menu. If the player has trouble locating the item, they can get a hint from Charlotte Pine for 100.

### Daily quests

Every daily quest has a chance to give the player a spirit wood or a crafting recipe for a random decoration in addition to regular reward.

## Chat

Every day, when Ted Sapsen has no quest active, the player can chat with him for some random gossip. Ted Sapsen can give the player advice or tell a little about himself or other bears.

Chatting with Ted Sapsen does not advance his story.

After the player chats with Ted Sapsen once, they can ask him for a hug.

**Ted:** Only amateur rock enthusiasts talk about 'jade.' There're actually two different minerals called that: jadeite and nephrite.
Nephrite is rarer. It's a silicate of magnesium and calcium. Jadeite is a silicate of sodium and aluminum.
But even *you* probably already knew that. Right?
**Ted:** I heard that in the living world, scientists can make diamonds synthetically in the laboratory.
There's no molecular difference between one from the lab and one from the ground. It's all just carbon.
Really boring. I never understood why people get so worked up over diamonds.
**Ted:** Once I got to study a *lunar* rock.
Almost all anorthite. Rare for Earth, but pretty common up on the Moon.
Sample was only four billion years old, though. Disappointing.
**Ted:** Have you earned an advanced degree in Geology yet? No?
Then come back when you do. Goodbye.
**Ted:** Basalt is an igneous rock. That means it's formed by cooling lava after a volcanic eruption. It's one of the most common rocks on the planet.
But even 'ordinary' basalt has the most spectacular origins.
It's far more exciting than most people.
**Ted:** I like rocks.
...
Goodbye.
## Daily quest lines

### Carved stones

Start:

**Ted:** I am still pretty sure you don't know anything about rocks.
Maybe you'll prove me wrong.
**Ted:** Show me what you've learned about rocks. Bring me something interesting.
End:

**Ted:** Maybe you do know something about rocks.
For instance, you might know that these rocks are not natural.
They were carved up by people, long ago.
**Ted:** Good. Maybe you *are* learning.
These rocks are unusual. Someone carved them a long time ago.
That person is forgotten now. But these rocks are still here.
### Quartz

Start:

**Ted:** Geologists love riddles.
*This rock rhymes with a word that is German for black.*
**Ted:** Here's a rock riddle.
*'What's tougher than feldspar, but can't beat topaz?'*
End:

**Ted:** Quartz. Yes.
Rocks are fun.
**Ted:** Quartz. Correct.
Rocks are great.
### Rocks

Start:

**Ted:** Oh. You again.
Well, as long as you're here, why don't you bring me a rock?
**Ted:** Bring me a rock.
**Ted:** You haven't brought me a rock in a while.
**Ted:** I want another rock.
End:

**Ted:** This rock is pretty good.
Here. Take this. It's not a rock, so I don't want it.
**Ted:** That's a nice rock. Thanks.
**Ted:** This rock is fine.
Next time, bring me a better one.
**Ted:** This rock is acceptable.
Next time I want a nicer one.
### Silver

Start:

**Ted:** Listen to this geology riddle.
*When you look at this concentrated material,
It's **got** a way of looking back **in** to your eyes.*
**Ted:** Here's another geology riddle.
*'What lives in vaults and works against werewolves?'*
End:

**Ted:** Yes, A silver ingot. Very reflective.
That was an OK riddle. It falls a little short of the *gold standard*.
**Ted:** A silver ingot. Good.
That was a bad riddle. The next one will be better.
## Mementos

Spoiler alertThis article or section contains **spoilers**. Proceed with caution!
1. *Ted Sapsen, the Rock Bear, is... well, you're not sure yet.*
2. *He may be short on words, but Ted's clearly knowledgeable about rocks. Maybe if you bring him more, he'll start to open up?*
3. *Ted has never understood why people could not simply accept him for who he is. Not everyone who is different needs to be 'fixed.'*

## Story quests expanded

### A rock

Ted asks the player to bring him a rock.

**Ted:** Spirit Scout.
**Scout:** Yep, that's me! / I'm here to help you! / You'll be at peace in no time!
**Ted:** That's nice.
I like **rocks**. Please bring me one.
A carved stone can be found hidden on the island. Once the player brings it to Ted, they receive a spirit wood and unlock Ted' first memory.

**Ted:** Yes. That's a nice rock.
Goodbye.
### More rocks

Ted asks the player to bring him more rocks.

**Ted:** Bring me some more **rocks**.
**Scout:** Are you building something? / Do you collect rocks? / How about a nice conversation instead?
**Ted:** I want **rocks**.
Four rare carved stones can be found hidden on the island. After the player brings them to Ted, he rewards them with a spirit wood.

**Ted:** These rocks are decent enough.
I can see you know a bit about rocks.
Not much. Just a bit.
Well, goodbye.
**Scout:** W, wait! / Can't we talk? Please? / At least tell me your tragic backstory!
**Ted:** ...
### Geodes

Ted asks the player to find him some geodes.

**Ted:** Geodes are good. Please bring me a **geode**.
Five geodes can be found hidden on the island. Once the player brings the geodes to Ted, he tells them how geodes form.

**Ted:** That's a good geode.
I can tell you about it.
**Scout:** Please do! / If you insist.
**Ted:** Geodes form around bubbles of gas.
The outside rock hardens. Then crystals form on the inner surface.
This one's made of quartz. The color comes from mineral impurities in the crystal.
You didn't know that, did you?
**Scout:** I did not!
**Ted:** Most people don't.
**Scout:** I did, actually.
**Ted:** You're better at rocks than you look.
The player is rewarded with a spirit wood and unlocks Ted's second memory.

### Rare rocks

Ted asks ther player to bring him rarer rocks this time.

**Ted:** You're not bad at finding rocks.
Still not great, though.
Bring me some **rare rocks** this time.
Four raw minerals can be found hidden on the island. Once the player brings them to Ted, he gives them a spirit wood and a flint stone for Charlotte.

**Ted:** These rocks are just OK.
They're not as good as this **flint stone**.
**Scout:** Yabba dabba?
**Ted:** What is that? A joke?
**Scout:** Oh! We use those in Scouts!
**Ted:** Hmm. Yes. For firestarting.
Strike against a piece of steel over some tinder, make a spark.
**Ted:** Flint is cryptocrystalline quartz. You find it in chalk and limestone deposits.
It breaks and chips into sharp edges, so ancient people used it for weapons.
Probably still do, in some places.
Someone gave this to me long ago. She was like you. Always bringing me rocks.
Then one day she stopped. I never saw her after that.
I'm tired of holding this. You can take it now.
A few days later Ted wants to give something to the player. It is a royal mirror.

**Ted:** I found this the other day.
I thought it was a rock. But it's not, so I don't care about it.
Here, you take it.
### The imp rock

The imps stole a rock from Ted.

**Ted:** The imps stole a rock from me.
**Scout:** I'll help you get it back. / No offense but... how can you tell? / It's just a rock, my guy.
**Ted:** No. This rock is special.
It's a big red one.
The rock. Not the imps. But maybe the imps too.
The carved stone can be obtained by chasing one of the imps on the island. Once the player brings the rock to Ted, he gives them a spirit wood as a reward.

**Ted:** You found it. Show me.
**Scout:** I found a bunch, actually.
**Scout:** I found a bunch, actually.
**Ted:** Imps like rocks. But they're thieves.
One of these is mine. I just have to find it.
**Scout:** Recognize any of these?
**Ted:** Not that one... Not that one either...
That's it. That's my rock.
This is sandstone. It's made from mostly quartz and feldspar.
You can see the layers where the sediment has built up over millions of years.
I love rocks. They make everything else feel temporary.
The imps always bother me and steal from my collection.
**Scout:** That's rough, buddy. / They cause trouble for me, too.
**Ted:** I'm used to it.
Well, bye.
### A cool rock

Ted needs more rocks.

**Ted:** Rocks deserve to be admired.
Not lost or scattered in some bear's **vegetable garden**.
The cool rock can be obtained from Lee Berry Dennings as a reward for completing one of his story quests. Once the player brings the rock to Ted, he gives them a spirit wood as a reward.

**Ted:** That's a pretty cool **rock**. Not bad.
It's gneiss.
**Scout:** I'm already bored. / What's so 'gneiss' about it?
**Ted:** Gneiss is a metamorphic rock. See how the dark lines from the sediment layers are rippled?
That's the result of extreme heat and pressure.
Geologic forces twisted and melted it until it became something new.
You can't usually find gneiss on this island.
Someone must've brought and left it here. Maybe another geologist.
I only came back here because there are so many unusual rocks to study.
**Scout:** You lived here before? / You're a geologist?
**Ted:** Many bears must've come here from different places at different times.
And left their rocks here. For me to study.
Thanks for bringing me this.
### Dull rare rocks

Ted wants the player to bring him some dull rare rocks.

**Ted:** I'm looking for some **rare rocks**. Very rare.
You probably wouldn't know how to spot one.
**Scout:** Nope. Never in a million years.
**Ted:** At least you admit it.
**Scout:** I think I'm developing an eye for this.
**Ted:** Maybe. But you're still an amateur.
**Ted:** Pretty does not equal important. Like pyrite. Shiny, but worthless.
The rocks I'm looking for are **rare**, but **dull**.
Ten rare carved stones can be found scattered across the island. Once the player brings them to Ted, Ted is impressed and gives the player a spirit wood and Ted's geode.

**Ted:** You found **rare rocks**. I'm impressed.
**Scout:** I can tell. / Would it kill you to be a little more expressive? / Just give me the science lesson already.
**Ted:** They look normal, but these rocks are meteorite fragments.
They traveled millions of miles through the cold vacuum of space just to wind up at your feet.
It's the same with everything around us.
Every particle in your body is dust from a star that exploded billions of years before you were born.
**Scout:** Humbling, isn't it?
**Ted:** Yes. I think so too.
**Scout:** OK, Neil deGruff Bearson.
**Ted:** Making jokes again...
**Ted:** People make fun when they don't understand.
But rocks just let themselves be. I like that about them.
Here. I don't normally do trades. But today I will.
### Iron ore

Ted asks the player to bring him some iron ore.

**Ted:** Ore is hidden within rocks. Bring me some **ore**.
Not too big or too small. Something I can hold in my hands.
Once the player brings Ted five medium iron ore, Ted rewards them with a spirit wood.

**Ted:** That's some nice ore. Good work.
People say gold ore is better than iron ore, but they're wrong.
Gold is softer than iron. It melts faster. It doesn't conduct electricity well.
Iron is useful. Reliable. It makes rocks beautiful.
**Scout:** Plus, it drives away fairies.
**Ted:** As long as it doesn't drive away ghosts, I'm fine.
**Scout:** What if people just like shiny things?
**Ted:** Then they're fools.
### A special rock

Ted asks the player to bring him the rock he was looking at when he died.

**Ted:** I like rocks. Bring me some rocks.
**Scout:** Enough! I'm tired of bringing you rocks!
**Ted:** Not surprising. Most people get sick of me in the end.
**Scout:** Can we please talk about you, for once?
**Ted:** That's what we've been doing.
To know rocks is to know me. No one ever understands that.
**Scout:** Fine. Give me the list.
**Ted:** There was a rock I was looking at as I died.
I want to see it again. But I don't know where it is.
It probably got **buried** somewhere.
Ted's special rock can be obtained from Ursula Pine for completing one of her story quests. Once the player brings the rock to Ted, Ted rewards them with a spirit wood.

**Ted:** Yes. That's the rock.
The subtle striations. The marble-like veins.
It was so beautiful. Just the rock you want to die looking at.
**Scout:** Do you remember how you died?
**Ted:** Yes. It wasn't interesting.
**Scout:** That sounds almost peaceful.
**Ted:** It was. I liked it.
**Ted:** The Ranger found me out here. First as a body. Then as a ghost.
She kept asking me what I wanted. I said, *'Rocks to look at.'*
So she brought me rocks. Small ones at first, like the flint. Then bigger ones.
Bigger and bigger, until she was bringing me parts of the island's foundation.
I think she believed that if she gave me enough rocks, it would fix something she thought was broken.
I don't think she ever really understood how much I like rocks.
I think she intended for me to want... something else.
**Scout:** Maybe she was trying to help you to move on?
**Ted:** Who asked her to?
**Scout:** Is there truly nothing else that you want?
**Ted:** ...
...
...No.
**Ted:** I'm happy. This is what I like.
People can make fun of it if they want. I'm used to that.
But they're not going to change me.
I'm tired of talking. Thanks for the rock.
Several days later Ted wants to talk.

**Ted:** You're back.
Do you think I'm going to tell you something different now?
Do you think you can give my story the ending that you want?
Then you're a fool just like the others.
I like rocks. They are the stories I care about.
They change and shift, come together and fall apart...
...all on a time scale so vast, all of recorded history becomes a blip.
Talking, interacting with other people, it just... never fit me.
Some things do not need fixing.
Some things are hard, and jagged, and exactly how they should be.
That's me. I am like that.
Can you accept what I'm saying?
**Scout:** I can. And I'm sorry if I pushed you.
**Ted:** You brought me some nice rocks. So it's fine.
**Scout:** I can. But I still think you're wrong.
**Ted:** The Ranger said the same thing. She gave up too, in the end.
**Scout:** No. I don't accept it, actually.
**Ted:** The Ranger didn't either, at first.
Someday you'll get it. Or you won't.
**Ted:** *This* is my peace. Right here.
...
This is ocean jasper. I tumbled it myself, back when I was alive.
It's a long way from its home. Just like you.
You should take this.
Maybe it'll help **you** someday, Spirit Scout.
Ted gives the player his last spirit log and a memorable rock for Charlotte. This conversation unlocks Ted's third and final memory and completes Ted's story. Ted will no longer give the player story quests; however, he will still occasionally give the player daily quests.

Unlike other bears, Ted does not ascend and turn golden.

## Version history

* 3.1.0: Bears will now only have one piece of gossip per day.
* 2.3.0: Fix for Ted incorrectly using ascended quest speech when he should not.
* 2.0.0: Added the option to hug Ted Sapsen after chatting with him twice.