1010/Kindness

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid is out back behind the clinic, facemask in his hand. He has his head in a dumpster and is shaking badly, purging everything in his fuel tanks.

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock was standing near, there to help comfort him, one hand on his back, the other under her cape... Her own face mask slid back and let the tears that had pooled drip off her chrin and onto the ground and just.. Vented a sigh of relief. "...Did good, got us outta there where I couldn't." That break down of hers had been real... Despite how quick she'd been to snap from it and act.

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid knows that the breakdown was real- it's what sent him off. He wasn't sure at first if he'd cry with her. But something in him. Something in him had enough of his friends hurt. Something in him had enough of those who are supposed to be respected, rules that are supposed to be obeyed hurting other people. He wipes his mouth clean and then just wraps his arms around Starlock, pulling her to him. He slides down right there, trying to pull her with him. "Shh.. Shh, you did good. You did wonderful Starlock." he takes on the protector tone, trying to tuck her head under his chin. "You did good."

**Starlock has posed:**
     And the well almost broke again when he put his arm around! She could feel the fluid building at her optics but was quick enough to stuff it down, and slid down with him, putting her arms around him in a hug, something she definitely needed right now and just took a shaky vent.

      "...Still I.. I broke down when I could of.." She'd sigh, and let it drop, no this was not the time to put herself down, she'd glance up at the night sky above. "....Really don't recall what you said?" She'd smile a little.

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid 's face is lined with concern. He suddnely looks much much older then he normally does, holding his facemask in the same hand he hugs Starlock with. Tears move under his visor and down his cheek as well. "So did I> So did I..." he says. "It was bad wasnt it? But it scared them right?"

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock smiled and broke into a tired chuckle. "...Scared is the wrong word.. You inspired something.. found a bit of hope and moral some had forgotten they had." She'd smile at him, Starlock always looked tired, and older then she was from the dark rigging under her optics.

      "...A lot of what you said was right though.. I feel the same but.." She'd look at her badge, takingi t form hit's place and held it in her hands, looking down at it. "...I don't acquit it to this.. This.. is just as bad as the purple one to me." She'd explain, running a thumb over it. "...I acquit it to this." She'd then point to the medical emblem on her neck guard.

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid pauses. "Then... then I shouldnt feel. Then Im not wrong." he says. "What purple one.." He looks at his own badge. "I agree. I pointed to the wrong badge. Thats what I did wrong." He motions to his medical badge. "I pointed to the wrong one." He says, suddenly feeling more at ease now tht he knows what I didd wrong. "I hope I remember when I do that next time cause I want to know what I say to make people move."

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock shuttered her optics and chuckled. "The purple one, is the one Darkstar wears.. ever notice how it's the same just more pointy?" She'd ask with a slight smile and sigh, placing her badge back on. "..We're Doctors, Medics, and Aid Workers first.. Autobot's last." She'd nod, before looking down.

      "...I'm sorry I didn't tell you some of this sooner.. I... I wanted you to be eased into it, instead of finding out the hard way." She'd sigh. "...I've... been trying to be more confident in speaking my mind, like how you did just.. I'm not.. I'm not good with.. Talking, I wasn't taught how to socialize, and uh.. had to learn, and unfortunately my first experience was a very, very, very bad one." She'd explain.

      "...I can manage, I can create, I can inspire, I can think fast, I know what is /right/ despite what others think, it's why I keep... Why I keep going, despite how many times I've failed and been scolded by Prowl." She'd continue "And I can act, but.. I can't... I can't.. speak, I know what I feel, but I can't put it into words." she'd state.

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid shakes his head "Theres no easy way into this. This is war and hiding it from us..well it does no good. Just makes us angry in the end. Thank you for trying but.. If I wanted to be innocent I wouldn't have signed up for this. I knew that the world needed help. Thats why I signed up. I wanted to help. I thought hte Autobots can help. And if Prowl doesn't think the Autobots are here to help he can.. he can. He can sit on a rust can." Oh Aid, what language. "I know you can. I know you ca. You can do both. I can help you. I can help you if you want. Im no good in helping people in a bar but when..when I feel what I did there? Nothing can stop me."

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock smiled at him and nodded, before letting out a huff. "When I'm not paralyzed by indecision and anxiety? Oh mech, I can too, should of seen me on Clemency.. I almost... I almost had Soundwave conceded that why they were doing was wrong." She'd vent a huff. "Then Buzzkill-Buzzsaw happened and well." She'd gesture to where her old welding was from where her chassis, and spark casing, had been torn into.

      "...I don't regret what I did, despite Prowl throwing the blame on me and Cosmos, I don't.... I don't regret repairing Vortex and Blast off, to protect them from Pharma." She'd state softly. "Even while I was hurt."

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid blinks "Soundwave had doubt? I.. I'd have never thought.." He says, continuing to hold her close. "He hurt you. I... Im sorry. For what Buzzsaw did. For what Prowl did. For what Pharma did. For what they all did. "What I saw on Garrus-1 was deplorable. Those two are.. they're ...look at them. They are sparklings, Starlock. They are young. They might be heavily armed and desperate but. They are scared. At least Blast Off was. And the other was in terrible shape and they didnt want me to know. Why hold them there. Why not just kill them or let them go. It makes no sense." he shakes his head. "You think Pharma wants to play with them." He puts his hand to his mouth "Primus, Im gonna be sick again."

**Starlock has posed:**
     "Yeah.. He maybe one of the ones that can be saved." She'd state softly before venting a sigh. "It's okay, I've come to terms with what happend with Buzzsaw, oddly, and able to keep pressing forward despite it." She'd nod. "Ahhh I'd not say their /thaaat/ young." She'd chuckle

      "...But I do agree, we don't know how long this war will last, or if they'll be let go come the end of it, they should at least be getting proper therapy, not.. tortured, reprogrammed, beaten or.. Well" She'd frown. "...I don't think Pharma wants to mess with them.. I /know/ He does." she'd state codly. "...He's done it to Blat Off before." She'd glance away, as if revealing a shameful secret.

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid pauses. "It*it's never gonna end, don't you see? The Decepticons are desperate and the Autobots are becoming more like them. Its never gonna end becuase the ones in charge..they dont want it to." he's never met Prime and thinsk maybe hes like Prowl or the rest. The trust is gone. "Blast Off just wnated to know how his brother is. Maybe both of them can be saved or at least Blast Off. What theyr'e doing to them? Just cements that we're evil. And how can we say we're not when we do that. I mean nothing but the walls. Solitary. I know they tried to escape but...look at them. Blast Off was broken. I'm sure Vortex is.. or was just as bad before whatever accident on purpose happened to him too." he says. "I was there when they broke out. On the radio. I heard them mocking the two, while they gunned them down. I heard people who are supposed to help the downtrodden. Laughing." he shivers. "I hear more then they think."*
**Starlock has posed:**
     "...I know it's not but.." She'd take a pained vent, pushing back tears. "I need to hold onto the hope that it will, and the hope I will live to /see/ that day, and /hope/ that I don't lose myself in it all." She'd open her optics as she kept looking up at the night sky, those tears flowing again. "...Because without hope...What is even the point of being alive right now?" She'd frown.

      "...I wish Optimus was around, I.. I really don't think he'd of let any of this recent slag fly but.. he's not." She'd look down at her free hand in her lap, keeping the other around aid.

      "...Nightlash is broken and depressed due to the loss and Trauma of her Drone." She'd start. "Hyperdrive is broken and traumatized by his time at the power base, where Blast Off and Vortex hurt him." She'd continue. "...Swivel is trying, but she's...beaten down." she'd mumble. "Like me.. only not to the level of thinking about committing suicide as I am" she'd laugh weakly, as if that was supposed to be a joke.

      "...Why I stay around Siegebreaker, Sky Lynx, Swivel, You, Hound, and Ratchet.. are all some form of light in this never ending darkness."

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid shrugs "I dont know. I've never met him. Is he the same as the others? Is he all words and ignoring the Autobtos fallign down around him?" he winces. "Yes, I know. I am trying to work with Lash. Its...its horrible. ANd Hyperdrive. I need to talk to him too and Swivel. We're all wer'e all broken. You're the only one I know who I can talk to about things like that. Ratchet? He's..you know so far above me I dont feel right talking to him. Swivel thinks I hate her. HOund's cool but we dont talk much. Never really talked to Lynx. Hot Rod and Blurr hate me, Ive ever talked to Siegebreaker. Im just. You know. Part of the equipment in medbay."

**Starlock has posed:**
     "I've met him a few times.. He's... the atmosphere around him is warm, warm, welcoming and kind." She'd close her optics as she remembered the few times she'd been around him. "...Ratchet.. Ratchet I admire because he is kind, naturally, as well as chooses to be so despite how much it has clearly hurt him." He'd admit. "...Being kind is a hard path to walk, because it sure as slag doesn't work all the time... Smelt, barely ever works at all." she'd smile at him.

      "But it's right... And I think.. most that join, forget that Kindness is part of heroism." She'd nod and vent a sigh. "...Socializing is hard, I know eheheh, I just have the uncanny problem of being able to empathise to well with others."

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid nods "I Know a lot of people mock me for the way I am. The way I act but kindness like Ratchet's? Thats what I aspire to have. My brothers told me stories about Optimus Prime. That sort of kindness, I was hoping he'd be that way. Kind when he wants to be, strong when he has to be. I come from a family of EMTs you know. No one goes into that field because they want power over people or anything. I Mean we're not doctors. My oldest brother is in fire and rescue, the one under me is police, then search and two in search and rescue." he says. "And me, well. Im the ambulance- the medic." he says. "We all chose our profession becsue real heroes aren't the people with statues. They're the people who help make the world a better place every day. The people who show that even in war theres kindness. We forget that, we become the tyrants that people say we fight against." he says. "I hope that makes sense. I didnt join to be a capital H hero. I joined to help the community. Every day heroism."

**Starlock has posed:**
     Stalrock nodded at everything he said and sighed. "...Now it's just a question of.. What now?" She'd frown. "We odda report what we got into but.." She'd grunt. "...I don't want to be yelled at again, specially over the commlink." She'd sigh, looking down.

      "....Blast Off helped me, and I want to help him, but I.." She'd glance away. "I don't know.. how without doing something that may be considered..." she'd bite her lip.

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid pauses. "I wasn't thinking of reporting anything." he says. "Nothing at all. I was thinking of..just telling them Im going to be helping here for a while. They dont need me. They need me here."

**Starlock has posed:**
     "I'm sure Audacity and Ratchet would like the help." She'd smile tiredly, thinking about what he said, clenching her hands together, and took a deep vent, and closed her optics, lifting her head and chassis. "...Sometimes to do the right thing, you need to do something bad." she'd reaffirm to herself.