Joseph Stalin

—**Stalin**, about to send someone to The Wall.

**Joseph Stalin** was a Georgian guy who became the dictator of Russia and the Soviet Union. He led the country under a thing called "Ikillyouism," a political tactic where whoever refused his orders was to be killed against The Wall, and to scare everyone into submission unless they wanted to die, and also having death quotas to be met by his political underlings just to frame them later for doing what he asked, but his main economic policy was Socialist.

He would rule the Soviet Union under a brutal version of Marxism known as Stalinism.

Stalin was reborn during the Naziening and became a famous rapper who was open about his disdain for the cringe garbage you see on the internet. He collaborated often with Ye Kitler, another rapper who hated furry porn animations as much as him.

Stalin also rebirthed the Soviet Union in 2143, being the smoking gun that kicked off the Russian-Soviet Cyborg War. With the help of Kane, the Soviet Union was able to overwhelm the Russian Federation's military with superior technology and power and take over Russia and reinstate the Soviet Union as a global superpower.

## Early Life

### Childhood

Joseph Big Bonzolbeans Bozo Mario Super Vissarionovich Stalin was a guy born in Georgia to parents who didn't like the way he looked, so they threw him into a sewer where he got raised by a conniving crocodile and a sewer bear who taught him the ways of being the most human he could be. This is when they taught him the Six Points of Ikillyouism:

1. Someone is always out to kill you
2. Kill all of your adversaries no matter how small
3. Be better than everyone else. You are better than everyone else
4. Life is not sacred.
5. Get everyone to fear you. Get everyone to love you.
6. You always get what you want.

Their teaching and his natural sociopathy guided his way of survival and life.

### Adulthood

Like all political extremists who become tyrants of a nation (See Adolf Hitler), they were criminals at some point and Stalin is no different. In Georgia, He was a part of the Russian Socialist Democratic For The Peoples' Workers' Party and worked as a bounty hunter, kidnapper, and robber who always got what he wanted. He rose the ranks of the RSDFTPWP because he was extremely good with a pistol and at pistol diplomacy, and always evaded the police. He also killed his fellow members who said no to his demands, but they were never able to kill him no matter how hard they tried. This is where he got his nickname "Man of Steel" because he was basically invincible.

Stalin used the RSDFTPWP to fund Lenin's Revolution. The group got angry that he spent all of their money, but Stalin pitied the fools and moved out to Russia after the success of Vladimir Lenin's Revolution, not because the RSDFTPWP wanted to kill him, but because he saw the potential to take more power.

## Lenin's Russia

Lenin greeted Stalin with open arms and gave him a seat in his Communist Party for funding the Socialist Revolution. Stalin immediately started taking action to gain more power by questioning the loyalties of the lowest members of the Party and getting his friend, Lavrentiy Beria, to use his status as the highest commander of the NKVD to execute them all in front of a wall by firing squad for treason, eliminating competition. This is where The Wall came from. He continued these Wall executions to publicize that he was eliminating treasonous individuals within the Communist Party and was a savior to the Russian peoples.

Lenin saw right through this, but he was too old to have any influence on anyone, but he did write down this letter of recommendation:

*Leon Trotsky is a good guy who is a good fit for the Leader of Russia. Joseph Stalin... screw that guy. Under no circumstances should he become Leader of the Russian Peoples. He will bring bloodshed to every aspect of life in Russia.*

This letter meant nothing to anybody when Stalin was the first at Lenin burial ceremony to make a big speech that would convince everyone that he should lead Russia:

*Vladmir Lenin, he was a great man [sniff]. And he knows that I will be the best General Director of the Russian Democratic Communist Party of the People [sniff]. Sorry, he was just such a great man [sniff].*

After that speech, he became the Supreme Director of Russia.

## Stalin's Union

Stalin made sure everyone feared him by starting a purge of all threats to his power, big and miniscule, such as Trotsky. He created the gulag system, where everyone who he defined a lame-o was subjected to forced labor camps under threat of The Wall and big lame-os were defined as enemy of the state and were to be executed by the choice of his Party members.

One of his secret talks with a guy he executed right after perfectly tells what it was like under Big Stalin:

*You insult Russia, death. You're not providing your fair share, death. Not working hard enough, death. You don't wake up exactly at 5:00 am, death. You kill yourself to escape death, death to your family and friends. You become a strong and independent woman, death to you and your whole village. Talk to Polanders or the Ukrainians, believe it or not, death.*

He was inspired by his talks with Karl Marx to rule this way as he was a believer of Marxism and Socialism, but not Communism. He knew that going with Marx's entire process would eliminate all of his power, so he just kept the Soviet Union a Socialist state that was ruled by a totalitarian Marxist. All of this Stalinism was for the Greater Good, of course, he could justify anything if it meant reaching the Communist utopia and eliminating Capitalist influences.

## Stalin and Hitler

Stalin and Adolf Hitler were friends at some point, since they had some things in common despite one being a Nationalsozialist while one was a Socialist, they both wanted to kill the ones they hated and take Poland and the other Siblings. They invited each other for dinner and teatimes occasionally. They walked the streets of Poland right next to each other and they were both disgusted by the weak men of Poland. This is what he said about Hitler in an interview:

*That Adolf is a pansy and a coward who doesn't get what he wants because he lets people say 'no' to him. I'd never let anyone say 'no' to me and get away with it.*

Despite that, he and Hitler were on good terms and agreed to not invade each other, which is why it surprised him that Hitler ordered his soldiers to invade Russia. He didn't expect a coward like Hitler to actually try and do that. He would've joined Hitler's side if Hitler didn't do that. Hitler contacted Stalin and told him that God Cheese told him to invade Poland with Russia and Stalin was confused about who God Cheese was until Hitler told that Aryan Spirit caused God Cheese to happen. This call caused Stalin to ban drugs and give a permanent gulag sentence to drug users until they starved to death.

## After WWII

The Siblings and East Germany were controlled by Mother Russia during the Cold War, where they were subjected to gulags and frequent Wall Squad massacres. Polanders became the angriest of the Siblings and tried to oppose Stalin's rule by massacring all Russian officials in Poland, and in return, The Wall Squad killed 500,000 Polanders and sent 1,000,000 of them to Siberian gulags. East Germans were getting too opposed to Communism, so Stalin ordered the reopening of Auschwitz and turned it into a gulag. Some officials refused to do that, so Stalin ordered The Wall Squad to kill them in arrival of new East German officials.

## Death & More

Stalin died in his puddle of pee when he got a stroke, and nobody would help him because they didn't want to be executed.

But he did not die without leaving his seed. He had a son named Khleb s Otverstiem, better known as Donut Vissarionovich, who Stalin barely raised at all. Instead, he left his wife to take care of Donut. During this time, Lenin was giving advice to Stalin's wife and Donut saw him as the cool uncle. As he got older, Donut became one of Lenin's proteges, following his teachings of Leninism and Democracy instead of Socialism.

Vasily Chuikov would replace this guy because he was kind of more ruthless than Zhukov. He led the Soviet Union under Socialism and Marxism much like Stalin and turned the Soviet Union more militaristic.

## Rebirth

### Rapping Career

During the Naziening, he was reborn for some reason and had the urge to protect people from cringe. He decided that the way to protect people from cringe was with rapping. He would get his point across by hijacking and infecting every site that had porn with an incurable virus that would play his anti-cringe rap videos every time someone was to view porn on their device.

He often collaborated in Molotov-Ribbentrop Statuses with Ye Kitler to stop people from watching furry hentai animations.

### Re-Despotition

Joseph Stalin would rebirth the Soviet Union in 2143, causing the Russian-Soviet Cyborg War. He was able to do this with the help of Kane and the Black Hand who spread pro-Stalin propaganda all over former-Soviet states informing that he is coming back stronger than ever.

He came back with a cyborg army and invaded Russia from the east. His advanced military force was able to destroy the Russian Federation's army with ease, so Stalin took over with a round of applause from the People following his every decision.

Obviously, he changed a bunch of stuff, laughed at the thought of human rights and reinstated gulags but upgraded to be cyber. Lame-os would be subject to these cybergulags where they were forced to become cyborgs for the Peoples' Red Sickle. These would make up most of the Soviet ground forces during the Russian-Soviet Cyborg War and World War 3.

## World War III

Stalin displayed an act of war against The Siblings when he told his military to march into Poland to track down the Andespotlaks who opposed his rule. The Siblings immediately set up a wall of defenses in Belarus and the Ukraine when the Red Sickle stepped foot passed their borders. The Siblings were being overrun at a good rate, so Stalin made a Red Alliance with China, promising that the Chinese will have an unstoppable military force and take what is rightfully theirs: all of Asia that is not the Soviet Union.

With The Siblings failing to defend their land and China soon to becoming a major threat, the USA, the EU, and a bunch of others would reorganize the Allied Powers (which was just NATO+) and secretly start researching and developing better technology in preparation for war. They officially declare war on the Red Alliance when they create the Proton Collider Array, ACX-11 Geist gunship, and TX1A1 Fission tank, which are powerful weapons that use armament that melt molecules with great effectiveness.

These weapons surprised Stalin in the Battle of Oceania where they were used to bombard the Chinese warships and obliterate their ground forces. Stalin wanted to use nukes but those were old news, so Kane informed him of the Leviathan Decimator, a giant laser cannon that fires into a mirror or set of mirrors in low Earth orbit that allow the laser to hit anywhere on the globe. Stalin uses the Leviathan cannon to support the offensive in the Battle of Poland, forcing the Sibling defense to retreat to Germany.

Stalin approves the design of a tank made out of pure Stalinium armor and armed with two deadly laser cannons, known as the ST-1 Stalingrad. It is a superheavy tank meant to be able to counter the Fission tank. In theory, it could easily destroy the Fission but in practice, the Stalinium armor was also easily destroyed by the Fission, thanks to the Stalingrad being way slower in comparison.

### Andespotlak Attack

The Andespotlaks would pull no stops in 2155 as they start the Despot Destruction offensive on Russia. With years of increasing technological superiority and huge support from the Allies, they were able to defeat Stalin and Kane's forces in July 2156, ending the Russian-Soviet Cyborg War and WWIII, but Stalin was able to escape into space and Kane escaped into a secret underground bunker where he would build up another far more powerful army.

## In Space

Stalin was sent to space in a big ship with 100,000 years' worth of food. He entertained himself by making YouTube videos to show that he is still alive and will never die and he plans on teaching cringe idiots a lesson on how to be normal.

He meets a guy called Cherdenko, who escaped into space to find one place that hasn't been corrupted by Capitalism. He joins Stalin's big ship, so he doesn't have to be cramped in his little escape pod. Cherdenko was surprised to see that Stalin is still alive and in space. They talk about evil Capitalism and what they did on Earth. Cherdenko was a circus operator turned mafia member. Stalin showed Cherdenko what he does on YouTube. Cherdenko thought rapping was stupid so he didn't say that he didn't like it, so Stalin wouldn't strangle him.

### Return to Despot

After a few days in outer space, Stalin and Cherdenko are met by Borg Trotsky and Cyber Lenin, who's task is to take Stalin back to Earth and make him part of the Vice Directorate of DocM77land. He is super surprised to see his former rival Leon Trotsky and former leader Vladimir Lenin, so he tries to spin what he did to them and the Soviet Union into a positive light. He was just trying to eliminate enemies of the People, but Lenin and Trotsky didn't believe it and they beat him up. They take Stalin and Cherdenko back to Earth in DocM77land, a place ruled by DocM77 the autocrat.

Stalin is forced to become a cyborg like Trotsky and Lenin to do DocM77's special bidding. He would participate in World War IV against his former ally, the Black Hand, and against the Koalition for Immediate Liberty for Life and Allied Mega Military Organization. Stalin would die from being shot by a laser and being steamrolled by a giant tank.

## Trivia

* Stalin be ~~ballin~~ dying in Hell recently
* He created the USSR National Anthem
* Stalinium is named after this guy