Jury Duty Part 3

## Overview

Double Heads Variety Hour presents "Jury Duty Part 3," where DJs Matt Fox & Dillon Minacci present a playlist combining songs of innocence and guilt. They meet a conspiracy theorist, speak with their agent, and meet the judge overseeing their case. Listen to the episode.

## Episode Summary

Matt Fox and Dillon Minacci are still in the Dairy Court and have been left to their own device to explore the courthouse. Earlier in the week they met the other attorney, Gary Gouda, who determined both DJs were fit to be jurors. They start the episode in the secretariat's office, because all administrative workers in the dairyverse are horses.

They get their first call from Ant, who claims to be "strong in the spirit of Jesus" and warns the DJs that all the alcohol in America and baking soda are both cursed. He also reveals the "claims of divine justice" bestowed upon him by the Knights Templar and Talladega. They hang up on him because this point he had talked for about 10 minutes without breathing.

The DJs start to explore the courthouse and find a reading room filled with bookshelves, and when they start to leave the room they are shushed by a man reading a picture book in the corner. He introduces himself as Judge Arthur Smoldershatz, and he explains that he is the judge for the case they are working, but that he's also quitting after today. He has a ponytail down to his ankles and is from the judgeverse, where everyone is a judge and makes up their own version of the law. He is from Judge Township 73, which is a sister city to Wyandot, Michigan, hence his love of the Detroit Tigers and Faygo. He is 1,494 years old and splits his time between the Pat Sajak Universe and the Evil Obama Universe. He is currently in the reading room reading *Every Animal You Might See in Your Life*, which is a picture book, and he's stuck on page four.

They also get a phone call from Dan, who has been trapped in Time Jail for what felt like 500 years, but was actually roughly 6 months in everyone else's time. During this time, he was able to get off hyper drugs, and also took to knitting, trigonometry, not playing with fire, and mixing colors. He claims to no longer be interested in harvesting organs or running a zoo to harvest organs, and says that his partner, In Crime, is also no longer doing crimes. The DJs commend a penal system that actually rehabilitates people and are excited to hang out with Dan again.

They are then interrupted by Melidas, who represents the Court of Athens and serves the DJs for crimes of corrupting the youth, showing how to make bad arguments better, and for their lack of belief in the gods. The DJs are inclined to not believe him and move on quickly.

Judge Arthur then explains that the crime the DJs are jurors on involves a slip and fall accident surrounding a man named Johnny Backstreet Boy, who slipped and fell and has yet to get up due to pettiness.

Before the DJs can discuss the case further, they get a call from their agent, Jack Squard. Jack is concerned with the lack of listenership on the show, but spends most of the time talking about how he doesn't eat lunch because he's an LA hot shot.

They decide the genres complement.

## Characters

Matt Fox

Dillon Minacci

Ant

Judge Arthur Smoldershatz

Dan

Melidas

Jack Squard

## Featured Music

Hot Chip - "Guilty"

Louis XIV - "Guilt by Association"

Saul Williams - "Innocence"

The Glitch Mob - "Palace of the Innocents"