Can't Clone Shampagne

## Songs

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Money Candy Peed in Our Bathroom

**"Can't Clone Shampange"** is a song from Money Candy

## Lyrics

**[Ariana, Spoken]**

No, we love... We do whatever we can to make our wealthy clients happy.

We work with only the best of the best, like yourself.

I can't name names, but one of our clients rhymes with "Schmarbra Schmeisand."

**[Bitsy, Spoken]**

Babs? Really?

**[Ariana, Spoken]**

Schmabs. Yeah.

**[Helen]**

Bitsy?

Can I speak with you for a sec?

He's a one-of-a-kind individual

Just like fine art, keep the original

Ask a critic

The difference is critical

'Cause we wouldn't own a print 'Cause it's pitiful

And you can copy his body for sure

But the thing you can't copy

Is his personality

And the money you spent on his training

To make him behave

Is like double my salary

Think about it, please

Might be a trapdoor

Might not be as obedient as yours

New dog might snap in a bad storm

And making noise

In apartments is bad form

A clone dog might bark

At the night sky

If it soils your carpet

I might die

It won't be Shampagne

If he's untrained

If it's a clone

Then it's sparkling white wine

In my mind, it's a question of value

I don't know if round two

Of your hound will astound you

But don't figure it out

When he's got his little mouth

On your thousand-dollar house shoes

'Cause it's just too late

It's too late at that point

No dang way, the real McCoy

It don't grow that way

Everybody knows

You can't clone Shampagne

Looks the same

But that's no Shampagne

No ma'am, no dang way

The real McCoy don't grow that way

Everybody knows

You can't clone Shampagne

Looks the same

But that's no Shampagne

No ma'am, no dang way

The real McCoy don't grow that way

Everybody knows

You can't clone Shampagne

The right reasons for the right reasons

In the right season then it might be him

And it might be a skunk

You might have a stink

It might be a ferret

It might be a parrot, it might be a mink

Speaking of champagne,

I need a drink

I've seen the movies

You get a homunculus

It's gonna grow

And it's gonna eat one of us

Let's both be honest

You might be the one

Not to be rude but we've seen you run

There's someone's opinion

We're missing

He whispered "I don't want a sibling"

He really can't look

At the terms and conditions

He makes a good point

I think we should listen

He doesn't wanna fight the group

But it's twice the poop

And we know

You don't like to scoop

That's his thesis

If he had hands he would write the proof

You got the perfect version at home

You wanna bring this uncertainty home?

Be on the phone with emergency rooms

'Cause who knew you were allergic

To clones?

Doggy breath is twice as hot

Now you get twice the shots

Just to get another dog

As it goes on, he could be a little

Hellspawn you don't even like a lot

Then you might want another one

And another one

And then maybe a sister or brother one

And then maybe a muscly buffer one

Then a buttered one

Then you want to invent or discover one

And another one, and another one

And then maybe a spring

Or a summer one

A scholarly one and a dumber one

And another one, and another one

And a...

Huh?