Episode 40: LIVE: "That's Not Your Comet"

*Holy crap! This week we're coming at you from The Frida Theatre in Santa Ana with our very first live show! Nay, Michael, Sam, and Brennan join a room full of real actual human beings to discuss SLEEPAWAY CAMP II: UNHAPPY CAMPERS!   Nay yays or nays her way through some camping-related topics, Michael leads the room in a "Happy Camper" singalong contest, Sam can't keep his eyes off the front row, and Brennan makes friends in the audience.[1]*

## **Trivia**

First live episode

Topics brought up during the episode: Sam's short The Quiet Room, the show's theme song by DJ Von Kiss, Ernie the sound guy, Santa Ana, Brennan's piece on *Cruising* on Dread Central

## **Shady Summaries**

Michael: I already did mine. It's the longest eighty fuckin' minute movie ever made

Nay: How come no one whooped (Angela's) ass the whole fucking time? The whole time. She's so small. I'd have whooped her ass

Brennan: The most notable trans film character of the 1980s (make of that what you will) gets fired for doing her fucking job

Sam: Five years after her murder spree, a child poses as an adult to kill other adults posing as children at a summer camp

Michael: That's great
Brennan: That's why we saved Sam for last

## **Nay's "Yay"s or "Nay"s**

Michael: So I have a little game

Brennan: Okay

Michael: That we're gonna try to play if people are up for it. So we wanna invite someone up here to sing the "Happy Camper" song. Three brave souls. One at a time, and we'll pick a winner

Brennan: You know what, Sam has to get our very special prop for that

Michael: Oh yeah. So should we vamp?

Brennan: I think what we can do is bring up our favorite recurring segment of this show, which is "Nay's Yays or Nays"

Michael: Oh yeah, let's do it!

Brennan: For those of you who don't know, one, this is Nay. Two, we have a little thing that started as an inside joke but kind of became something. It's called "Nay's Yays or Nays". It's basically a lightning round of I'm just gonna toss a topic at her and she has to say whether she approves of said topic via "Yay" or "Nay"

Michael: (chuckles) It's really fun

Brennan: Yeah, this round is camp-themed

Nay: 'Kay

Brennan: And also I am  going to throw it out to the audience at some point

Michael: A lot of "Nays" since you hate camp (giggles)

Brennan: (to the audience) Your topics do not have to be camp-themed, just anything you wanna hear Nay's opinion on

Nay: Oh lord

Brennan: And you should wanna hear her opinion on everything that exists in the world. And I'm gonna start it off, Michael you can jump in if you want

Michael: Okay, great

Brennan: Number one: Bunk beds

Nay: No

Brennan: Nay

Nay: No. Unless I can be on the bottom, you know what I mean? I remember going to camp and being like, "You really want me to be on the bottom, right?" Anyway

Brennan: Campire stories

Nay: Yes. Yay

Brennan: Thank you. Glamping

Nay: Yay

Brennan: Okay, so…

Nay: Glamping like there's a toilet, there's a--

Brennan: Yes

Nay: Yep

Brennan: No cell reception

Nay: No. Nay

Brennan: Lake swimming?

Nay: When I was young, yay. Now? Nay

Michael: Nay

Brennan: Bears

Nay: Like animals or--

Michael: (laughing) Boys

Nay: Gay boys?

Brennan: Let's do one and then two

Nay: Nay to animal bears

Brennan: Mmm-hmm

Nay: And yay to human animal gay boy bears

Brennan: Oh yeah. For sure.

Nay: Mmm-hmm

Brennan: Tents

Nay: Like to sleep in?

Brennan: Yeah! To sleep in

Nay: Nay. No, I hate…

Brennan: Okay, does anybody have any suggestions? I'm willing to run around. No? We're just not gonna?

Nay: They're like, "I don't give a fuck!" (laughs with Michael)

Brennan: That's cool. I'm fine with that. We'll get out of here earlier

## **"Happy Camper" singalong contest**

Brennan: Okay Sam, do we have the package?

Sam: Yeah

Michael: Do we have any volunteers to come up and sing the "Happy Camper" song? Does anyone know how to play guitar by the way?

Brennan: We wanna do a "Happy Camper" sing along. If anyone-- look, you just hold the guitar, you don't have to know the chords. But if anyone wants to attempt the lyrics, we would really love to have a volunteer come up on stage

Sam: Here's the thing. The prize is the best prize because it's a shit ton of shirts from Fright-Rags and they donated, and by shit ton I mean three

Brennan: Yeah

Sam: But listen, they're good fuckin' shirts.

Michael: It's like a (indistinct) shit ton

Sam: One of them says "Fangoria", it's in red, not the rainbow 'cause it's not done being printed, but they did--

Michael: Mine shipped today

Sam: (sighs) Joy

Brennan: And also you will be immortalized on this episode of Queerwolf, which I mean, is the best prize

(Question from the audience)

Nay: Important question

Sam: It's a pack of medium, large and extra-large so you can cut it into a cute crop like this if it doesn't fit

(Four contenders from the audience step forward to sing the "Happy Camper" song)

Nay: (laughing) Oh my God!

Michael: No duos. You're going one-by-one.

Brennan: So here we have a librarian. What's your name?

Judy: Judy

Brennan: Thank you so much, Judy

Michael: Hi Judy

Brennan: There's a character named Judy in the first Sleepaway Camp

Judy: Yes there is

Brennan: She does not survive. I'm sure you will.

Judy: Hello. It's so high up here. This is so funky. Okay

Michael: Wait. Do you know guitar?

Judy: No

Michael: Oh, okay

Judy: It's like when, "Oh hey, you should learn steam programming for the kids." "Sure, okay. I took Humanities. Fuck off."

Michael: Judy, everybody!

Sam: Wow, Judy

Judy: Sorry, I also used to volunteer….

Michael: (to Judy) I'm gonna say your name over and over again

Judy: That works

Michael: I love the name Judy. When I used to drink, my drunk alter ego for my friends? "Judy"

Nay: God (laughs)

Judy: Well, I actually am named after Judy Garland. I was born in Kansas

Michael: I love it. You win

Judy: Okay. Excellent. Now I don't remember any of the words. This is gonna be great. Yay!

Michael: Take your time. We're here for you

Judy: (singing) I'm a happy camper,

I don't remember the rest of the words!

But I will make stuff up

And try to be immortalized in this podcast

Uh, and then I'll be a happy camper until I die!

Michael: Woooo!

Sam: Yes, Judy!

Brennan: Also, at my karate dojo, where I learn karate, there is a concept that we learn called, "Wrong but strong", which is if you don't know how to do the thing that you're doing, as long as you commit fully to it, it looks awesome and (Judy) did that

Michael: Absolutely!

Brennan: Thank you so much

Michael: And who do we have here?

Halle: I'm Halle. I thought we were all gonna sing together, so I'm in trouble

Brennan: We will at the end

Michael: We will at the end

Halle: Okay. 'Cause I don't remember the words at all! (laughs)

Michael: So, like our friend Judy here, she committed. Do your thing.

Halle: All right… do I know any chords? No. (sings) I'm a happy camper and I like to sing

I'm a happy camper and there are no diamond rings

I'm a happy camper with leaves I wipe my ass

Sam: (chuckling) Big tea

Halle: (singing) I'm a happy camper and I died in the grass

Nay: Oh my God, freestyle!

Sam: That was good!

Michael: That was actually better than anything in that script, so

Michael: And what's your name?

Blake: My name is Blake. Hi

Michael: Can you play guitar?

Blake: Absolutely not

Michael: All right!

Blake: (strumming guitar) I gotta get the rhythm. Mmm. (sings) I'm a happy camper man and I like to sing and play

I'm a happy camper man and I enjoy this podcast with these gays

I'm a happy camper man, I've had a great time tonight

I'm a happy camper man, the show's been really tight

Michael: Wow. We should've done this a lot sooner!

Nay: Wow

Ethan: I play guitar. The plan was for a duo

Michael: Well, let's do that now

Brennan: Yeah!

Michael: 'Cause I am lovin' this

Sam: A little bit of guy-on-guy? Yeah

Michael: Yeah

Brennan: Who let us be on the podcast and none of these people?

Michael: Right

Brennan: You are all geniuses

Michael: You don't want me singing

Ethan: (strumming the guitar) Oh no

Michael: Do we want one more person to come up and sing?

Brennan: Are there any more volunteers? Or should we just do the big group number at this point?

Nay: Let's do the group

Sam: Yaaas

Brennan: I think everybody should join in. Here, you guys come gather round the fire

Michael: Should we pick a winner first?

Brennan: Yeah. Then we can celebrate with the song

Michael: All right!

Brennan: By round of applause, Blake right?

Michael: Blake! Let's start with Blake!

(cheers and applause from the audience)

Brennan: Judy

Michael: My good friend Judy

(cheers and applause from the audience)

Michael: And Halle!

(cheers and applause from the audience)

Nay: Woop-woop!

Michael: They all win!

Brennan: That was a tough call

Michael: That was pretty even. So they all win

Brennan: I have an extra shirt if we wanna

Michael: We have three shirts, right?

Sam: We do. We have a shirt for everybody

Michael: Perfect! They all win!

Sam: Yeah

Brennan: Let's do it!

Sam: Yeah!

Michael: We're gonna do the "Happy Camper" singalong. Who's gonna lead us in this?

Brennan: I think I know the words. And Sam, do you know the words?

Sam: Brennan is gonna lead us on this

Brennan: Okay, we'll see if I have good retention

Ethan: (strums the guitar and gets in tune vocally) What's the lyrics?

Brennan: (sings) Oh, I'm a happy camper, I love the summer sun

I love the trees and forest, I'm always having fun

Michael: (to the audience) Come on!

Brennan: (sings) Oh, I'm a happy camper, I love the clear blue sky

And with the grace of God, I'll camp until I die

Michael: (sings) I'll camp until I die

Brennan: Round two! (sings with backup from Michael) Oh, I'm a happy camper, I love the summer sun

I love the trees and forest, I'm always having fun

Nay: (impressed) Brennan!

Brennan: (sings) Oh, I'm a happy camper, I love the clear blue sky

And with the grace of God, I'll camp until I die

Brennan: I just do wanna give a special thanks to my sister Lauren, who did donate her guitar for our prop

Michael: Woo-hoo!

(cheers and applause from the audience)

Nay: Thank you!

Sam: And thank you for giving us permission to break it on-stage

Brennan: Thank you so much Lauren. Do you have anything you wanna say about Sleepaway Camp II?

Lauren: It was quite a movie

Brennan: Very accurate

Nay: Thank you so much, everybody

Sam: Can we get one more round of applause for all of these incredible singers?

Brennan: Yeah, one more round of applause for our contestants

Brennan: Y'all were out of control. That was so good

Nay: I can't believe anyone did that. That was amazing. Thank you

Sam: TBH, when you guys brought it up in the group chat, I was like, "Nobody's gonna do that."

Nay: I didn't bring it up!

Sam: Comedy gold

Nay: Yep

Sam: While we just stand here

Nay: Yeah

Sam: Wow! That was way better!

Michael: That was great!

Nay: Yeah

## **Pride Float**

Sam: Did it get a Pride float then? Does it get a Pride float now?

Michael: And then we'll also let the audience do a round of applause

Brennan: Oooh, I like that too

Michael: For me, no and no. It does not get a Pride float

Brennan: Mmm. Cool

Michael: It actually probably is driving Sleepaway Camp to community service, and staying with it

Nay: Mmm. Yeah, no and no

Brennan: No in the Eighties for sure. I'm still gonna go with no, but I do think that this can be-- it's a fun, campy movie because we can have the remove of time and we're slightly better now? Not really that much better, but we can laugh at it for its problems, and I'm into that. But no

Michael: I'm into it, for sure

Sam: So y'all have been with me for two months now

Brennan: Mmm-hmm

Sam: What do you think my answer's gonna be?

Brennan: Yeah

Sam: Yaaas it gets a Pride float! Then and it gets one now. And this Pride float, it's like a giant outhouse, but it's painted in all rainbows

Brennan: Okay

Sam: There are big leeches, but they're all dancing go-go boys like in leech costumes. And there's a giant stick and people just kind of lay it on you. It's not a hit, you're not whacking anybody

Brennan: Mmm-hmm

Sam: And that's 1986 and now

Brennan: Okay

Michael: What is the float, like the outhouse or anything?

Brennan: Yeah

Sam: Well the outhouse is on it stretches like a mile, just a mile--

Michael: Just the inside--

Sam: A mile of field

Michael: (laughs) Yes!

Sam: And so, it actually takes up the whole parade

Michael: Perfect!

Sam: You've gotta walk all the way across just to see it

Michael: Awesome

Brennan: I love it

Sam: Yeah. Happy Pride everybody

Nay: And would, yeah

Brennan: Yeah, we should, before we go we should gauge the audience reaction. (to the audience) So, do you think it deserves a Pride float? I wanna hear claps for "No" (mild applause) And how about the people who, "Yes, it does deserve a Pride float" (more applause and cheers)

Sam: That's right my people

Brennan: I think, yeah

Michael: It slightly wins

Brennan: You have definitely rallied the crowd, Sam

Sam: You are all my children! (laughs)

Michael: It's not fair. That's the Sam section right there

Sam: Listen, they're all the Sam section

Michael: Awwwww! Oh, honey

(Michael and Sam laugh)

Nay: Okay

## **Quotes**

Brennan: So, what do we do on this podcast?

Nay: (sighing) Oh my God. The most

Brennan: For the thirty-three percent of the people in the room who have not heard the show

Michael: Nay and I kept saying all week we didn't care if anyone showed up because we thought it was cool

Nay: Yeah

Michael: But I was secretly really scared that no one would show up (chuckles)

Sam: I had full faith that y'all would be here, so thank you

Brennan: So, what do we do on the show? No one answered my question

Nay: I said the most

Brennan: Okay, that's accurate. And we discuss horror movies from an LGBTQ+ perspective, and we're gonna do that today!

Sam: And tonight we are gathered 'round the campfire live at the Frieda Cinema in Santa Ana (cheers and applause from the audience) Thank y'all for being here

Michael: Woohoo!

Sam: And we are here to discuss a little treasure called Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers

Michael: The longest eighty minute movie ever made

Brennan: Okay, by applause, who really loved this movie? (some cheers and applause from the audience) Okay, who liked this movie (one or two people in the audience clap) Okay. Thanks for coming

Michael: Who actually hated it but had a good time anyway?

Brennan: Yeah, who was like, "This is bullshit"?

(scattered applause from the audience)

Michael: You're true

Nay: Who waited outside until the movie was over and came in for this part, honestly? (chuckles)

Brennan: (chuckling) That was me, honestly. (regular voice) I watched it this morning. Yeah, I'm super cool. Sam, what's up, what's going next?

Sam: In defense of this movie it really is just the last ten minutes that feel like a year, right? The rest of it, smooth sailing

Michael: Well, yeah, I was thinking halfway through the movie, "How long is this fucking camp?"

Sam: An hour and twenty minutes, including credits

Michael: Do they go to school there?

Brennan: Well, luckily the rest of the movie is in bite-size chunks of three minutes each--

Michael: Yeah

Brennan: So it's really a delicious meal of snacks more than anything

Michael: (chuckles) Like Insta Stories?

Brennan: Oh yeah! It's like Nay's Insta Stories with all the dots at the top

Sam: Are you reading her?

Brennan: No!

Nay: That was a read

Brennan: I love all those individual dots, they're delicious

Nay: (laughing) Okay

Sam: So, for everybody, obviously our live audience just had the good fortune of watching this film with us. For everyone who didn't, I'm gonna read you the back of the VHS 'cause it's a fucking treasure. "Welcome to Camp Rolling Hills. Meet your camp counselor, Angela. She's the kind of counselor who enjoys camp songs, nature walks, board games and murder. In fact, she does wonders with a chainsaw and a drill press. It all started six years ago at a nearby camp. Apparently a shy fourteen year-old boy went berserk and committed several grisly murders. Could it be that the unhappy camper has returned as Counselor Angela? Sleepaway Camp II. Sign up and become a dismember."

Brennan: Oh! Okay! Are you a member of a camp? Like, in general?

Michael: (laughing) Yeah, there's no camp memberships, right?

Sam: Yeah, that's not how that works

Brennan: I'm not trying to criticize you, Sam. You did a great job. I just don't understand

Sam: No, I was so pumped on the tagline until you said that. I dunno

Brennan: I'm really good at dismantling box art, or just the copy on the back of VHS boxes. I'm sorry you ignited my special skill

Michael: How old do we think (the campers) were supposed to be? Sixteen? Seventeen?

Sam: Okay, well, I was paying attention 'cause (Angela) said to the lead girl--

Michael: Not!Jennifer Aniston?

Brennan: Molly?

Sam: Yeah, Molly. "When I was your age." And they backtracked, or like, (Angela) said, "When I was your age," about that guy, so she must've been fourteen

Michael: Whoa

Sam: Molly's supposed to be fourteen. Molly's supposed to be fourteen

Michael: And the guy she was dating, yeah. The guy she was after was someone's uncle

Brennan: Well, no, Sean said his parents split up when he was seven. Which is about thirty years ago

Michael: Yes! (laughs) We don't know they actually cut a scene where he reveals he's a counselor the whole movie (chuckles)

Brennan: Maybe. And look, he was supposed to go to Camp Arrowak back in the day--

Nay: Yes, that's true

Brennan: So he's supposed to be about Angela's age, right?

Sam: (sighs) Everyone at this camp was older than Angela

Brennan: This is just as confusing as the time jump between seasons one and two of Pose. I'm just not ready to break down this gay math any more

Sam: So looking at a horror timeline, where did this movie appear? It's right before Child's Play (1988). Same year. But it's one week after Nightmare on Elm Street 4, so to just give you a timeline perspective

Brennan: What a month! I would've been so excited to be alive

Sam: August of 1988, excited to be alive except that Reagan was President

Nay: Yeah

Brennan: Yeah. You're right

Sam: I know, I'm shading. But listen--

Brennan: Yeah, shade Reagan

Sam: In queer rights timeline, this is, it took until 1987 for him to even utter the word "AIDS" in a speech, so we were not a people being supported

Brennan: Yeah

Michael: And Allie uttered it as she put her shirt on

Brennan: And it took Allie about eighty-eight minutes in this movie

Sam: (chuckles) This movie is braver than the President at the time. So again, queer rights. Happy Pride

Brennan: ACT UP. Okay

Sam: I told 'em I was gonna bring up stuff like this because we were gonna keep it fun, and then I'm immediately like, "Here are the facts. Let's talk about AIDS."

Brennan: Mmm-hmm

Sam: But. Speaking of AIDS, one of the best fucking lines in the movie

Michael: I mean, yeah

Sam: "Listen, you don't have AIDS or anything, do you?"

Brennan: For the record, for people who didn't receive proper sex education, that is the way to ask. After coitus

Sam: To be specific, the way to ask is, "That was great. That was great. Really great." "Listen, you don't have AIDS do you?" It's like the lead-in. She comes at him four times

Brennan: That way you know you're getting the right answer

Nay: And tell me within seventy-two hours so I can go get on Pep or PReP. Whichever, you know?

Brennan: The first thing I think we need to talk about in this movie is Angela, played by Pamela Springsteen. Who is the most famous Springsteen if you've never listened to music and never talked to my Dad. Who is in the audience. Hi

Nay: Oh my God

Michael: Where's your Dad? There he is?

Brennan: He's right over there

Michael: Hello!

Nay: Dad. That's really cool

Brennan: Yeah, my Dad and my Mom and my sister came

Michael: Oooh!

Nay: God

Brennan: So I'm sorry for cussing so much

Sam: There are a lot of Daddies in the audience tonight

Nay: Yeah, that's true though

Sam: And so I'm not apologizing

Michael: I see a couple in the front row (giggles)

Nay: Wow

Michael: Oh that's my friend Taylor. It's fine (laughs with Nay)

Brennan: So Angela

Michael: Yeah, Angela. Was this Pamela Springsteen's only role? (Sleepaway Camp) Two and Three?

Brennan: No!

Sam: She was in Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Michael: She is in Fast Times?

Brennan: And Sleepaway Camp Part Three

Michael: Well I know in Three

Sam: She met Sean Penn there and they got engaged

Michael: Whoa

Brennan: Who didn't he marry?

Sam: Fair

Brennan: Do you think it was traumatic to her that one of the characters was named "Sean"?

Michael: No

Brennan: Well, because every character in this movie is named after an Eighties teen idol

Michael: I didn't realize that

Brennan: You've got Emilio--

Brennan and Michael: Molly

Brennan: Sean, T.C. is named after Tom Cruise. Am I blowing your mind?

Nay: Yes

Michael: You are. Good job!

Brennan: Also, for the record, in the sequel, there's two rival camps. One of them is named after West Side Story and the other one is named after The Brady Bunch. It's very fun

Sam: So problematic fave Angela. Nay talks about problematic faves a lot

Nay: (chuckling) Yeah

Sam: And I think that you have good things to say about it

Nay: Well, Angela in this case, she's a problematic fave 'cause she's murdering people, right? But we're like, "We love her!" But in general, these movies, there's something that is so upsetting when you watch them. Not because people are getting killed but because I just wanna know so much back history. And I just want there to be little blurps of lessons about gender and pronouns and--

Brennan: Like an MTV Pop-up Video?

Nay: Yes. Yes. Yes, just like that

Michael: That's a good idea

Sam: A new version of this film, incredible. Also would make that last ten minutes livable

Nay: Yeah

Brennan: It'd be like, "Here's a story about something else."

Sam: (sings) "Pop-up Video!"

Brennan: Just a summary of Moby Dick or something, just get some education in there

Michael: (laughing) Oh God

Nay: Or just explain why no one's whoopin' her ass the whole time. She gets hit with that stick three light times and she's down for at least, you know, a few minutes. Why? Why? If that's the case, almost any of those grown-ass people playing children could've whooped her ass. I just know it

Sam: Or when Molly takes off through the woods and she is cruising it. She is so fucking far, and then she approaches a tree and Angela--

Nay: Is right there

Michael: Is just chillin'?

Sam: She's there, she's waiting

Nay: Also how come no one can hear anyone coming with all these sticks and leaves all over the ground?

Michael: How come no one knows their way back to camp? Everyone's running down dirt roads, like, "Where are you going?"

Nay: How come there's still shit in this toilet and no one uses this cabin?

Brennan: Oh, good point

Michael: I was thinking that too. There was a lot of shit in there. (Victim) drowned in it

Brennan: All the flies

Nay: Right. It was fresh, like I don't get it

Sam: Well that's the place (Angela) hangs out, it's obviously her shit, right?

Nay: It was her shit. Yeah, you right

Sam: I mean she's there all day

Brennan: Oh my God

Michael: God! Do you think killing makes you poop a lot?

Nay: The anxiety, yeah

Michael: Yeah

Brennan: She's really regular

Sam: Well she's eating those beans out of a can, she's got fiber

Michael: That's true

Nay: Oh yeah

Michael: Well Nay made a good point, anxiety

Nay: Yeah. I'd be shitting all the time

Sam: That reveal that that lair was like a mile away, I was like--

Michael: Why

Sam: I don't have time for that.

Nay: No

Sam: These kids are walking a mile in the woods?

Brennan: Yeah, Molly followed (Angela) for a mile

Nay: Yeah. Each way

Sam: (chuckling) Who's the real psycho?

Nay: Each way. Got her man to go, and she isn't even giving him any yet. Was like, "I need a little favor. Can you go out a mile? Each way. Just to see how she's doing?" No. I'm not going anywhere

Brennan: But staying on the topic of Angela

Nay: Yes

Brennan: I thought it was really interesting that she actually is, I mean spoiler alert for Sleepaway Camp, oops, sorry, Angela is revealed to be a cis boy who's been dressed up as a girl for this whole time. But Angela gets her surgery, she is a post-op transsexual and that ceases to be relevant to her character which I think is really interesting. Like this movie allows her to have other character traits other than being a transsexual person

Michael: Yeah, a murderer

Brennan: I mean those traits are that she's a psychotic maniac, but it was 1988

Nay: And a slight redhead. Did you see that? Did you notice that? I was like, "When did she get red hsir?"

Michael: I love when (Angela) brushed her tiny little nub. What was that?

Brennan: Also, what do we think of Pamela Springsteen as Angela?

Michael: Oh, she's great

Nay: Yeah

Michael: She's having a really good time. I was actually thinking in my head… when I watched Ma and Pamela Springsteen was having an Octavia Spencer level amount of fun while making this movie

Brennan: Just that sheer commitment to the bit

Michael: Yeah, she was having a good time. And y'know, I felt like she was winking at us the entire time. Every time she had a line after a death--

Brennan: True

Michael: She was fuckin' chomping that line out

Sam: But it's like you know what the producers thought about her, 'cause she's not even on the VHS box. It's like some other girl, and a backpack with a Freddy glove

Nay: Yeah

Brennan: Oh yeah

Sam: I mean, she has no presence in any of the advertising

Brennan: Well she was probably doing something better. Like hanging out with her brother

Sam: I feel like she's an icon and I don't think they trusted that she would be read as an icon. Like the tagline on the VHS box is something like, "When you go camping, don't forget your essentials." Oh, okay. And that's the Freddy glove and the mask. It's like she has no-- I dunno, they just didn't trust that she would be as iconic as she is. I think when you talk about the first movie--

Brennan: Mmm-hmm

Sam: The whole movie is bad dialogue, it's campy as fuck and then at the end you see her dick. Right? Like that's the joke, that's the punchline

Brennan: Mmm-hmm

Sam: But in this movie, it's way more progressive. She shows up, and yeah, they talk about her surgery. Paid for by their parents' tax dollars

Michael: (laughs).What is that?

Sam: Oh my God

Brennan: When I was that age, I was not that aware

Nay: Like your dad's salary

Brennan: I was not that concerned with what my parents paid taxes on. I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't know

Sam: Talk about relevant, though! I mean, isn't that the reason why, or the quote "reason" why our President doesn't want trans people in the military? Is because of the expenses?

Michael: Yeah, expenses

Sam: It's like, this is fucking--

Michael: Thirty years ago

Sam: Yeah!

Michael: Yeah

Sam: And here we are, we're still having that conversation. But I think that this movie knows. It was a joke, and that shows that the movie's in on it. To me, it shows that the movie's in on it

Brennan: Is it?

Nay: Yeah. ( I don't know

Brennan: I mean, wall-to-wall slurs for every type of thing that you can be?

Michael: Everything. (laughs)

Sam: Yeah, but look who's giving the slurs. It's--

Brennan: Assholes

Sam: Ally or Elly, they call her both. It's Elly and Ally. Yeah, she's throwing out every slur she can think of and then she casually reads the AIDS line and by then, that's when she gets it. And what does Angela say as soon as she fucks her up? She's like, "You should've gone first." Or, "You should've been the first to go."

Nay: Mmmm.

Brennan: Oh my God. That's true. I mean I kind of--

Michael: I love when she's going to the cabin, though and all the sign says is, "Abandoned cabin. Five. Sam." And then she pulls it out later like, (as Ally) "Oh yeah, it was five o'clock. I just wanted to make sure I had the time right!" (regular voice) It's one of the four words on that giant piece of paper (chuckles)

Nay: Yeah, and--

Sam: The immediate cut from that note to that moment, someone in the theater goes--

Michael: That was me

Sam: Oh, was it?

Nay and Michael: (laughing) Yeah

Sam: Girl

Brennan: I feel like this camp was like an episode of The Bachelorette where she really should've gone earlier but the producers wanted to keep her around

Nay: Okay. 'Cause I was gonna say, Angela, why are you saying that? This is under your control. "You should've killed me first"

Michael: You should've killed her three days ago

Nay and Michael: Yeah

Brennan: I will say about Pamela Springsteen that I related to her performance a lot because I was also in high school theater

Sam: I'm not surprised

Brennan: But one-- okay, that was very high-key shade, but one thing about Pamela Springsteen is that I think that she's really well cast physically. I think her face is so interesting. I think she really captures that apple-cheeked super gooniness of the character, but on a dime she could turn into this angular villain

Michael: Well, it's crazy how her smile can look sweet one moment and then deranged in the next and she doesn't do anything different

Brennan: Yeah, exactly. I think that she has a really great face to play, you know, a murderous psychopath

Michael: Plus white socks with black boots is always bad, y'know?

Brennan: Is that a compliment? I meant it to be

Nay: The white socks with--?

Michael: Yeah. The white socks black boots bad bitch

Nay: (chuckling) Oh no!

Brennan: I think I've found our episode title. Writing that down

Sam: So what makes her a great villain? Or is she a great villain?

Michael: Well, we've talked about in the past how Sleepaway Cramp is just filled with--

Sam: I'm sorry, "Sleepaway Cramp?"

Michael: Sleepaway Camp the series is just filled with shitty kids from Long Island. And to me, any time you take out shitty people from Long Island, you're the hero (giggles) So she's kind of the protagonist and the antagonist, but you also are kind of rootin' for her. I dunno.

Nay: I mean, I was def rooting for her in the first one, I wanted her to kill everybody, because she was killing everyone that fucked with her even just a little bit. She's like, "Oh, you threw a little sand at me? You're dying later. All of your friends." But in the second one, other than anyone that goes to camp, they're annoying so maybe they should die, I didn't find myself rooting for her in the same kind of way

Michael: Not even with Ally?

Nay: I mean, yeah, fuck Ally. I mean, yeah, but that was it

Sam: Elly

Brennan: It's "Ally" because she's named after Ally Sheedy, Sam!

Sam: Tell that to Molly

Brennan: Well. Remember in Star Wars when everyone was pronouncing Princess Leia's name as "Lee-ah" because they were British and they didn't know what the script was doing because George Lucas didn't care about anything. No?

Sam: Molly's British?

Nay: No. I don't remember

Brennan: But in a way, isn't Angela kind of visiting upon cis women the same kind of violence that people have visited upon trans people for years and years?

Nay: Oh, I mean she's not even beginning to take the tip of the iceberg off of the amount of violence that cis people have perpetuated against trans people, for sure

Brennan: Yeah. I am not against the real-life killing of anyone, but they kind of deserve it!

Nay: Yeah, they're annoying. If I was at that camp I'd want them all to die, but I might not have put the energy into killing them, you know? Especially a mile away, each way. I'm not, y'know

Michael: Yeah, dragging a body a mile?

Nay: Live to see another day. Yeah, she was really dragging all that dead weight, too

Brennan: Oh yeah

Nay: Yeah

Sam: She must have great arms

Nay: Something

Sam: Like that guy in the front row. I was rooting for her the entire film, until she didn't know the words to "Kumbaya". That song's easy! It was just the same one over and over again and then she gave up. (chuckling) It was eight refrains in. Just done

Michael: Suddenly she looked fifty. She walks out, I'm like, "Who is this wo-- oh, it's Angela!"

Sam: It's been five years since she was fourteen, Michael

Brennan: In Hollywood age that's fifty

Sam: It's interesting that they brought up the "in Hollywood" thing. Sorry, it just popped up in my head, but the urban legend thing where it's like they were talking about it like, "Oooh, this happened in Hollywood." And it reminded me of in the Eighties there were so many homophobic urban legends like Richard Gere and the gerbil

Michael: And the gerbil

Nay: Right, right

Sam: And then they turn this into yet another homophobic urban legend. We're coming out of gay panic at its height in the mid-to-late-Eighties and this movie leans into it in some interesting ways, I think. Like when she cuts her hand open and smears blood on Molly's face. That's a scary thing for people who are just realizing that the most terrifying thing in the country right now is blood-related

Nay: Mmm-hmm

Sam: We have an image on the screen in a film where they're constantly bringing up queer context. I think there's something extra going on there. But in that way, they're leaning into gay panic in a way that kind of makes it problematic

Brennan: Well, yeah. This is "Gay Panic: The Movie". I mean, look, I know, I know we wanna come at it from this really fun angle, but it is about a psychotic trans person killing a bunch of people. Like that's--

Sam: Disagree. It's about a trans person who is killing people because they deserve it, but specifically because they deserve it through the lens of those who have been oppressing her

Brennan: Mmm-hmm

Sam: All of her rules, every single one of them, is a rule from the Reagan era, right. It's like all that shit that you're taught, to he really polite, that's why everybody got murdered in the Eighties and now we listen to podcasts about people who got murdered in the Eighties

Brennan: Mmm-hmm

Sam: It's like when that girl didn't apologize, (Angela) was like, "You need to say that you're sorry." Or when there was porn, it's like, "You have porn, you've gotta die."

Michael: Porn? Perverts. They're committing some kind of assault

Sam: Yeah, I wrote down her rules, because she says them right after she kills people, but there's a lot. There's "Nice girls don't have to show it off." "Say no to drugs." When they refuse to apologize for sexual behavior, right after somebody calls someone else a "faggot", "You're a bad friend." "You talk too much." And "You're going to hell."

Michael: Well it's interesting because you talk about it from the trans angle and at the same time a lot of those things she's killing people for are very anti-Christian, like "being a good person," "being a good girl," you know? "Say no to drugs," she's spewing Nancy Reagan lines at the same time, so it's such a conflict

Sam: Right! She's in the pocket

Michael: And honestly, Michael Simpson probably didn't give it much thought

Sam: But (Angela) does say herself, when (Sean) confronts her about her gender, rather than answer it, she says, "I have been Angela Baker for four years."

Nay: Mmm, that's true

Sam: And I think she takes ownership in that-- God, I'm doing that, I'm putting way too much positivity on something that's obviously shitty and homophobic, but she does take that moment to own her own identity and say, "This is the name that I chose." And I think there's something powerful about that

Nay: There is definitely something powerful about that

Michael: It is interesting that the last name she chose is "Johnson" (laughs)

Michael: Hi Sam

Sam: Hi (laughs)

Brennan: It really has been like a tennis match between the two of them, though

Nay: Yeah

Brennan: Nay and I are just like, "Huh?" "Huh?" "Huh?"

Nay: Yeah, it's so much easier around a table with no one in the room, y'know?

Michael: Except Ernie. Hi, Ernie!

Nay: Ernie! Cool

Michael: Interesting topic

Nay: Yeah, it is

Michael: That's what the podcast is for, right? Everybody has-- right? Yeah

Sam: I thought it was for telling stories about getting chlamydia. Did I have this wrong? That was last week

Brennan: What I would like to talk about for one sec is the character--

Sam: My parents are here too, by the way

Brennan: Are they really?

Sam: (indistinct)

Nay: Wow, that such cool parents exist, that's like, so nice to see

Brennan: Yeah, thank you for coming. We really appreciate it. And, just, you know, bouncing right off of that, I wanna talk about Sean and how hot he is

Nay: (chuckling) Oh God

Sam: Thank God. (to Brennan) When you brought up Sean and then breezed right past it, I was gonna open my mouth and start talking about it and you were like, "More about Angela…" and I'm like, "Fuck."

Brennan: No, look. Sean has a lot of learning to do, but I do consider him--

Sam: Starting with acting

(Laughs and cheers from the audience)

Sam: He's trying so hard

Brennan: He is! But in terms of, he is the person who does call Angela a "she" and in terms of what you were saying, if it's just based on the surgery, it's not really appropriate. But he is the person who seventy-five percent of the time embraces the gender… that's a really complicated thing. But I do say that in this movie he is the champion of pronouns and the champion of chest hair

Michael: Did he have a belly button?

Brennan: What?

Michael: I couldn't see a belly button. His shorts were pulled so high that I couldn't see his belly button (giggles)

Nay: Jesus Christ, Michael

Brennan: Maybe this is a prequel to Kyle XY?

Michael: Oooh!

Nay: (to Michael) There's something wrong with you

Sam: I wasn't looking anywhere but that space between his socks and his shorts, just all leg

Brennan: The part early on where he's lying down on the towel and you're just like, could you just--

Michael: Jesus Christ

Sam: Okay, time out, though. Those fucking wet towels! What?!

Nay: When they lay down on it? Mmmm, no

Michael: I know! They get out-- (laughs)

Sam: They're swimming and they get out of the pool, and they lay down on the wettest, the two wettest towels anybody's ever seen

Nay: Yeah

Michael: It's like all the water from the pool

Sam: All while water splashes up

Michael: (laughing) Yeah

Nay: Right. Yeah

Sam: Why

Nay: That's fuckin' gross

Sam: "Party hats at two o'clock!"

Nay: Yeah, straight up (chuckles)

Brennan: But yeah, I'm just really glad (Sean) sleeps shirtless, so when they have that whole conversation by the tree, we could examine it fully. I just wanted to know what was goin' on under there

Sam: He's not the only one who sleeps shirtless, that opening

Nay: Ally, right?

Michael: I love how that's-- (giggles) no one's, the pose she was in was like, "Oh girl, your arms gotta be asleep."

Nay: Oh, arms up!

Michael: You have no feeling in those arms

Nay: The beds are so narrow you can't

Michael: You've very much got a kink in your neck

Sam: Do you guys ever forget how many boobs are in a movie 'cause you're gay?

Nay: No

Sam: I forget all the time

Nay: I never forget

Sam: I was watching this and I was like, I saw this movie yesterday and I was like, "Wow, there's a lot of breasts."

Michael: Yeah

Nay: Yeah. I mean, I think that was why I sought out so much horror when I was young. I was like, a guaranteed titty in this movie. At least one

Michael: At least one tit? Half of a set? (laughs)

Nay: Probably two

Brennan: That character is Ally, right? Or is that the other one who thinks that--

Michael: That was Ally, I think

Nay: Yeah, Ally's the only one in there sleeping with her shirt off

Michael: The one who kept flashing

Sam: No, because there's Mare

Brennan: There's another girl who keeps thinking flashing her breasts is the punchline to a joke

Nay: That is--

Michael: She's like, "If you don't give us our bra back, we're gonna have to show you these!" And they're like, "Why would we give them back then?

Nay: Why have I never met anyone like that?

Brennan: No, she just thinks that's the punchline to every joke she makes and I'm so glad she got killed before she could go to the improv or something. It's just a mess

Nay: I dunno. I'd buy a ticket, I think

Brennan: True

Michael: The thing that I find as I get older, with movies like this where they're supposed to be like fourteen or fifteen--

Nay: Mmm-hmm

Michael: Seeing the nudity is really weird

Nay: Yeah

Michael: I know the actors are over eighteen, otherwise they wouldn't be nude, but--

Sam: Well, the actors are over thirty in this film

Nay: Right

Brennan: I did read, fun fact: The guy who was hooking up with Ally all the time, he was a minor, I think he was seventeen, so during the sex scene they had to use a double

Michael: Oh!

Brennan: But clearly everybody else is…

Michael: She was working it

Brennan: Eighty-seven

Nay: Okay

Sam: I'm glad that's where that ended 'cause you started it with a fun fact that he's underage and I'm like, "Whoop!"

Brennan: No, no, they did it properly

Michael: I always find it's jarring to me as I age-- Riverdale is a good example. Archie is playing like a fourteen-year-old because they're gonna be seniors next season, right? So he's a freshman. Every gay on Twitter is like, "Girl! Look at Archie walking shirtless!" I'm like, "He's playing a fifteen-year-old!"

Sam: That's literally my Twitter, by the way

Michael: And no shade, it's just like, it's jarring for me 'cause you're ooohing a child

Sam: But Archie's abs are jarring to me

Michael: But you know what I mean?

Sam: No, I do

Michael: It's interesting because it's like, tits, and (Ally's) supposed to be like, thirteen

Brennan: And truly, this is Sleepaway Cramp, because she sleeps with her back fully arched

Michael: And she's got cramps the entire movie (chuckles)

Brennan: Oh, true!

Nay: I was like, first of all, maybe her period lasts longer than a week. Calm down. You don't need to question me about my cycle like that. You had cramps last week, I have endometriosis, okay? Don't ask me any more questions unless you're handing me some ibuprofen, a water bottle and an indica, okay? Leave me alone.

Nay: Speaking of, those little stoner sisters or whoever they were--

Sam and Brennan: The Shit Sisters!!!

Michael: Oh, they're great

Sam: Yes!

Nay: (laughing) I'm obsessed with them!

Sam: Why did they go so early? I need the spin-off

Nay: Wake and bake. Oh, you meant early in the movie (laughs)

Michael: I thought that's what you were asking, too. I was like, "They lasted all night."

Nay: Because they woke up

Sam: No, I needed ninety percent more Shit Sisters

Nay: Oh yeah, no. For sure.

Michael: What were her lyrics? Does anyone have them?

Brennan: (singing) "I'm a happy camper, I love…"

Nay: No no no no

Sam: No, keep going. Drama! High school drama

Michael and Brennan: "I love to drink and fuck…"

Michael: Yeah

Brennan: "And if you pay me money, on my titties you can suck," right?

Michael: (laughing) Yes!

Sam: Yeah

Nay: Yes

Sam: That one was a stretch. That was--

Brennan: Hey. I liked the kind of Shakespearean grammar-switching on that one

Nay: Yeah

Brennan: I thought it was a good composition for an improv

Nay: Pro sex work, you know?

Brennan: She should replace her boob flashing friend at The Comedy Cellar

Nay: Yo, they got charred

Brennan: One of them did. The other one--

Michael: The other one slept through her sister's charring (chuckles)

Brennan: She's medium-rare by the end of the movie

Nay: Yeah, that's true

Michael: She didn't-- I know you were drunk, but…

Nay: You didn't smell that?

Michael: You didn't feel that heat?

Nay: (chuckling) Right?

Brennan: She's been wasted since she got to Camp Rolling Hills

Nay: That's true

Brennan: That's a good nap. She needs that

Nay: (chuckling sadly) Oh no

Sam: I was shocked that the only two children in this movie died

Brennan: I loved that

Sam: I mean, summer camp full of children, but…

Michael: The two boys at the end?

Sam: Yeah, the boys at the window. That we actually had two kid deaths?

Michael: Yeah

Sam: That doesn't happen a lot

Michael: I was like, "Gimme 'em."

Brennan: Look, Queerwolf is adamantly pro-child death in movies (laughs)

Michael: Oh yeah

Sam: I mean

Michael: I am a pro-child death advocate

Sam: Yeah

Michael: Yeah. Sign my petition after the show for more child murder

Nay: Okay

Sam: Well thank you for coming tonight you guys so we can talk about how much we hate children. My Mom's worst nightmare

Brennan: Awwww

Nay: (laughing).No skin off my tits! I'm gonna use that every single day

Brennan: Oh yeah. Favorite lines. Is that your favorite?

Nay: Oh yeah. No, I'm gonna use it from now on

Brennan: Okay

Sam: Oh

Nay: I'm gonna use it from now on if I'm unbothered. "No skin off my tits."

Michael: "No skin off my tits"

Brennan: That really would bother me if it did

Nay: Yeah

Brennan: That's accurate

Michael: Mine was, what was the character that got the guitar string wrapped around her head?

Nay: Oh…

Michael: Demi?

Brennan: Oh God. Yeah, Demi

Michael: Yeah, Demi

Nay: The one pretending she liked all the music

Michael: What was she saying? Yeah, that was my favorite

Nay: Girl, you don't like it

Michael: What is she saying? She's literally talking about something and is like, "Aw yeah, turn it up!"

Nay: Come on

Michael: Like, the reading was amazing. Not a great line. The reading was perfect

Sam: Absolutely. Brilliant. Then she makes the-- I was really unclear as to what the joke is, I leaned into the person next to me to ask 'cause she then says, "Your taste in music isn't bad for a suburban white girl." And then Ally does something, she changes the song? And then she just points and laughs? What the fuck was the joke?

Brennan: I think she was just being a jerk. She's like, "You like this song. I'm gonna change it."

Sam: Okay. My favorite line--

Brennan: It's not a great joke. Again, no one here belongs

Sam: No. Ally is like the epitome of straight culture. I'm sorry, it's just like her reads aren't funny. She's pretty so she doesn't have to be creative

Brennan: Mmm-hmm

Sam: There's nothing witty or interesting about her

Michael: Ugh, she's the worst

Sam: And we have that one shot where she's talking to Ally and it's like, (as Ally) "Stay away from me." (regular voice) And then that long pause and she repeats herself. It's like, oh, that's it? Okay

Michael: Right. Yeah, she'd for sure have her bachelorette party at a gay bar

Nay: The Abbey, yeah

Michael: Oh God, annoy the hell out of everybody

Brennan: No, it's pretty privilege. She's used to everyone laughing at whatever she says

Nay: Mmm-hmm

Brennan: So she doesn't have to try

Sam: Speaking of not trying, my favorite line in the movie--

Brennan: Okay, okay

Sam: It's when they're talking about Ally wanting to be a cheerleader

Brennan: Mmm-hmm

Sam: But she didn't make the team and she says, "I guess I didn't cheer loud enough." What is that? The volume of the cheer? It's very clear it's not

Michael: Layers. Layers in that statement

Sam: Let's unpack it

Nay: Sure. It's like she's certain it can't be for any other reason.

Brennan: My favorite line--

Michael: She thought about it a long time and that's what she came up with

Brennan: Whatever helps you sleep at night, back arched

Michael: I know

Brennan: My favorite line is when T.C. is trying to ask out Angela and she is not having any of it, and she says, "I'll call you." And he says, "How are you gonna call me? I don't even have a phone." And then he smells his armpits

Nay: Yes

Brennan: It was just a really perfect, crystalline scene

Michael: Yeah

Brennan: I want it to be preserved in the Library of Congress

Nay: I feel like he got nervous 'cause he was asking her out--

Brennan: Mmm-hmm

Nay: And then he got a little sweaty

Brennan: Oh, I just figured he thought he smelled

Nay: Yeah, and he's like, "Do I smell right now?" Yes, probably

Brennan: Of course, he's at sleepaway camp

Nay: Fucking gross-ass camp. I hate camp

Brennan: I don't know how many of you are on gay Twitter, but that's not a turn-off for a lot of people I have found out, so

Nay: Oh, what? People's smells?

Brennan: Yeah. Good on T.C.

Nay: Yeah, no. People, some people love how people smell. Yeah, you know. Sweat. Pheromones

Sam: You know what Angela hates? Is green gum

Nay: (chuckles) Oh yeah, right

Sam: What flavors are green? I mean, it's just mint, right?

Nay: Mint

Michael: Right

Brennan: Yeah

Sam: So she just hating on gum?

Nay: Or sour apple?

Brennan: Sour apple gum is the shit

Sam: Okay

Michael: It is the shit

Brennan: Yeah

Nay: Yeah

Sam: But when she puts it in her mouth, did you guys see what color it was?

Michael: It was like, pale

Sam: Yeah, it was just tan, white

Michael: Like the greyest gum ever

Sam: Who's she even reading right then?

Michael: Gum makers (laughs)

Sam: (laughing) What?

Brennan: I just really liked how when they're hooking up in the bathroom--

Nay: Uccch!

Brennan: No, it's disgusting

Nay: Mmm-hmm

Brennan: Never do it

Michael: Yeah, at one point--

Nay: What was he doing?

Sam: (disappointed and confused) Never do it? (indistinct)

Brennan: Okay, I don't think he fully knew how to eat her out, but he was trying and I really respect that

Nay: Was he?

Brennan: 'Cause teen boys don't know

Nay: I don't even know. I'm not sure that's where his face was

Michael: Yeah

Brennan: It was like--

Sam: No, no, no

Nay: Like I'm just not…

Brennan: Okay, like, fully here, right? Ribcage?

Nay: Yeah

Michael: It was in her belly button. Yeah, he was going down on her collarbone (laughs)

Nay: Yeah. It was not-- 'cause I mean she was makin' a lot, she had, I dunno what was, yeah

Brennan: Yeah, no

Nay: Yeah. I just don't know.

Brennan: I respect the attempt

Nay: She also left her bra in there on the floor and I'm like, "Those are expensive. Your mom bought that. Aren't you--"

Michael: What were the two candles just under the sink?

Brennan: Yeah, two candles do not make a bathroom sexy

Michael: I was waiting for a roll of toilet paper to flare up. And then he's like caveman, draggin' her into that stall at one point. Oooof

Nay: I hated all of that. I can't eat, like I can watch anything happen in a movie, like people get their heads chopped off, whatnot. But if someone is doing anything in a bathroom I'm like, "Oh! Can't chew right now. Ew, the floor." Nothing. Mmm-mmm

Brennan: Look, I wish I could get that lost in the moment that I could knock over six cans of Comet and not pick 'em up

Nay: Right

Michael: They all still had their kids on. It was fine

Brennan: What?

Nay: They had the sticker

Michael: They had the paper sticker over the holes. Yeah

Brennan: Yeah well, no, it's just like, that's impolite. Like, "That's not your Comet."

Nay: Not, but it's like the cheapest household cleaner, y'know?

Michael: (amused) "Not your Comet"

Brennan: Yeah, still rude as fuck

Nay: I mean, they didn't care. They were knocking the back of the toilet off, there was all kinds of shit. I feel like it was, there was a lot happening and none of it was cute

Michael: (chortling) None of it was sex

Brennan: If I was the janitor at that camp, I would also be incited into a murderous rage

Nay: Oh yeah

Sam: I have a question

Brennan: Yep

Sam: What is a panty raid? I just, I've seen it in so many movies, I don't understand

Michael: My friend Mia in the audience asked that as it was happening. She was like--

Sam: Did you get an answer then?

Michael: She asked me that question then, yeah

Brennan: By applause, has anyone here participated in a panty raid?

(One person in the audience claps)

Nay and Michael: Okay!

Nay: All right!

Sam: Let the record show that that's my Stepdad

Brennan: (to Sam's Stepdad) Can I ask you a question?

Sam: No no no no! Brennan! Bring the mic back. Oh my God

Michael: Prize it up!

Brennan: (to Sam's Stepdad) What is a panty raid?

Sam: Oh my God

Sam's Stepdad: Can I say this in front of my son?

Brennan: I think he's said a lot of things in front of you, so it's fair trade

Nay: Right

Sam's Stepdad: If you were at camp or something like that, you sneak over to the girls' dorm or whatever, or it could be in college. And you steal their underclothes, undergarments

Sam: Ooh! Horrific

Nay: (sotto voce) I'm dying. I'm dying

Brennan: So it's like a full Ocean's Eleven with undergarments

Sam: Actually, while it's there, then what do you do with the panties? That's my question! Like, okay, I get that you go get them, but then what?

Michael: They wash them

Sam's Stepdad: It's just-- oh no, I didn't do that, maybe some people did that. It's just the joy of stealing another person's panties

Sam: But no, then where do you put them?

Sam's Stepdad: Uhhh, I don't remember, Sam

(Laughter and applause)

Sam: Thank you

Brennan: Thank you so much. Thank you for coming

Sam: Well yeah, that's the last of my questions, so… (laughs)

Michael: Ya got any others, Sam?

Brennan: Oh, I have a question for you, Sam

Michael: (to Sam) You wanna talk about jockstraps now?

Sam: (sighs)

Brennan: Every boy in this camp has a jockstrap

Michael: Into it

Sam: Do straight people still wear jockstraps or is it exclusively a gay thing now?

Nay: I don't think straight people…

Michael: Is there any straight people here? (giggles)

Sam: Well, I mean we just talked to one

Michael: (laughing) Let's ask Sam's dad again! (to Sam) Do you want me to ask your dad if he wears a jockstrap?

Sam: I think we're good

Nay: Oh my God

Brennan: I have a question for you, Sam

Sam: Yeah

Brennan: Lemme paint a word picture for you. You're maybe sitting at the side of a pool or by some trees or whatever

Sam: Is my towel wet?

Brennan: Uh, always

Sam: Okay

Brennan: It's a permanent fixture. So a guy's flirting with you. He opens with his soccer scores, basically

Sam: Sold. Already. So brave

Brennan: Yeah. Already sold. But then moves on to his honor roll status. Does that help or hurt?

Sam: My therapist would say it helps (chuckles)

Brennan: Okay

Sam: And that those are the types of candidates I should be looking for, Brennan

Brennan: And then brags about his saxophone skills. How are we feeling about that?

Sam: Well I played the saxophone, so don't read him for that

Michael: Yeah, he's very… he's very eclectic. I like it

Brennan: No, he's just fully reading his CV to her. I'm just

Michael: His teen CV

Sam: I don't know. I mean, okay…

Nay: It's not working, so he's gonna keep bringing up more and more things

Brennan: Mmm-hmm

Nay: Yeah

Brennan: He's ready to talk about his special interests

Nay: Yeah

Brennan: He's good at Microsoft Office

Michael: Well he led with the thing that he thinks is the clincher

Brennan: Mmm-hmm. He was holding a football, though

Michael: Yeah

Sam: Let's be real, though. He did lead with the most fuckable of those activities. Am I right?

Brennan: Yeah, and that is the one he hit twice, specifically

Sam: (laughing) Nay, are you?

Nay: (laughing) I'm like, "Are you? I don't know!"

Sam: I mean, obviously he's not gonna win for personality. This guy was (chuckles) not fun

Michael: I loved when Molly was like, "Hey Ally, wanna play catch?" And she was like, (as Ally) "No. I fucking hate you." (laughs with Nay) (regular voice) I'm like, she's bad

Nay: I wish I had acted like that as a kid, you know?

Michael: Oh, right? So satisfying

Nay: I was thinking when Molly was upset with Ally and just like, when you're older and you remember all these things and you're like, "Wow. That doesn't matter at all. I wish I could've known that for even one second." And I really just wish I would have been rude like that, and mean, instead of trying to be nice in hopes that people would be nice to me, because it sounds like a lot more fun to be mean

Michael: (giggles) I mean, yeah. (Ally) was mean, she was fuckin', she was drinkin'

Nay: I mean like, "No, I don't fucking like you."

Michael: She probably had a good time at camp

Nay: Yeah

Michael: Yeah

Sam: And she got to have the most fun death. I mean, for me that was--

Brennan: Well. Well

Michael: The gurgling as she was drowning

Nay: Oh, that was a lot of gurgling

Michael: Covered in shit?

Sam: It wasn't fun for her, but I mean…

Brennan: I can't rewatch that scene. Like, "Mmmm. No thank you!"

Sam: I love when she makes her call, like, "What are you looking at?" "Shit."

Nay: Yo

Sam: And then she launches off on how she's shit and then piss. And then launch in that, it's like, "Wow."

Nay: "What else?" She was topping the shit out of her in that scene (laughs)

Sam: Brilliant

Nay: (laughing) She's like, "What else do you see?" That was amazing

Nay: What makes them think Angela's a dyke? Why do they keep yelling this at her?

Brennan: It's just a really easy way--

Nay: Is it the socks?

Michael: (laughs) And the knife on her belt. Baby pony…

Nay: 'Cause I'm like, everyone has these ugly shorts on, so

Sam: She doesn't like green gum

Michael: She's got BDE. Big Dyke Energy

Nay: (chuckling) Okay, I was like, "Bacterial vaginosis?"

Brennan: Of all the counselors in this movie, there's one that has bigger dyke energy than her. The lady with the short hair that she killed at the very end?

Michael: The one that (Angela) stabbed at the end?

Brennan: Hell yeah

Michael: Diane or Diana from the audience

Sam: (laughing) I thought you were gonna say, "T.C."!

Nay: Okay

Michael: T.C. reminded me of one of my teachers in grade school, and it was a woman, and I loved it

Nay: Yeah

Michael: Loved it. Same outfit, everything

Nay: Yeah

Michael: Yeah. She was a good gym teacher

Nay: (chuckling) Obviously

Michael: Yeah

Sam: T.C. had guts. He had short-shorts and then rolled up his short-shorts. He couldn't roll them up any more because it would all fall out

Michael: Yeah. Lotta baskets (laughs)

Brennan: Okay

Nay: (sotto voce) Okay, Michael

Brennan: I have another fun fact. Do you wanna hear a fun fact?

Nay: Yeah

Brennan: The actress who played Ally, her name is Valerie Hartman, she is also credited on Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland as the "Raccoon wrangler"

Michael: How 'bout that?

Brennan: So… demotion, I think (chuckles)

Michael: (giggles) Cameo!

Sam: Actually, I might be totally wrong about this, but I think they shot (Sleepaway Camp) III before (Sleepaway Camp) II.

Michael: You're kidding

Sam: Are there any nerds out here who know?

Michael: Should I look it up?

Brennan: They shot them in the same period, but I think in chronological order but just all in one chunk

Sam: Okay. I buy it

Brennan: The nerds are on the stage

Michael: I'm looking it up

Sam: The nerds at on the stage (chuckles) That's why I asked

Nay: Michael's looking it up (chuckles)

Brennan: Thank you, Michael

Michael: You're welcome

Brennan: (to Sam) Do you have anything?

Sam: I was just curious as well--

Michael: (Sleepaway Camp III is) Eighty minutes as well

Sam: I was gonna ask who we hate the most, but i mean, obvi

Michael: Everybody (giggles)

Sam: But along those lines, what was your favorite death? 'Cause there were a lot of these

Nay: Mmmm

Michael: Of course

Brennan: I just love the girl who wakes up covered in joints

Michael: I didn't have a favorite death, but my favorite was after everyone died, they were still very clearly alive

Nay: Yeah. Yeah

Michael: Blinking. Eyes are supposed to be gone but they're blinking

Nay: They're breathing

Sam: Breathing real heavy

Michael: Breathing real deep, yeah

Sam: It's like, "You couldn't find any other piece of that take?"

Michael: Yeah

Sam: Like the corpse sneezes and they're just playing it off?

Michael: My favorite almost death was Molly falling a whopping six inches to the ground

Nay: (chuckles) Yeah

Michael: And then lying on a rock for twelve hours (laughs)

Brennan: Mmm-hmm.

Nay: She got knocked the fuck out. She hit her head

Brennan: Real favorite death is when Demi's about to get, is it "garretted" or "garroted"?

Michael: Garoted

Sam: Garoted?

Brennan: It's somerhin'!

Michael: (to someone in the audience) What did you say?

Brennan: Garoted

Michael: "Strangled." (laughing) Someone just said it. "Strangled."

Brennan: Look, thank you. Thank you for coming. I already forgot how to pronounce it so I'm just not gonna say it. Before she gets strangled with the guitar string, I like the fact that (Angela) tests out all the alternative weapons

Michael: So great

Nay: Oh my God

Michael: It's so great. The pencil?

Nay: Going through the whole room

Michael: I love that (Angela) had child safety scissors at one point

Brennan: (amused) Yeah!

Michael: (chuckling) And just throws them across the room?

Brennan: (as Demi) "What are you doing over there?"

Michael: (as Angela) "Just tuning my guitar!"

Nay: Who knew guitar string, it goesso fast, though

Michael: Oh yeah

Nay: I'm like, "You've been holding it around her neck for three seconds."

Michael: Demi died quick

Nay: Right

Brennan: I mean, they hurt your fingers a lot, so

Nay: They do! But I'm like-- I was hoping actually when the first time I saw it, that (Angela) was gonna take (Demi's) whole head off with it

Michael: Mmmm. Like Saw. Or Hereditary

Nay: Yes

Michael: Yeah

Nay: Yes

Michael: Mmm-hmm

Brennan: (to Nay) Did you have a favorite death? Did you say?

Nay: I think it has to be Ally

Brennan: Well

Nay: Yeah. For sure

Michael: No luck on that question of when it was shot

Sam: I'm gonna go with I'm right, 'cause I really like that

Michael: Okay

Brennan: And you really like being right?

Nay: Well, when did they shoot the reshoots for (Sleepaway Camp) number one, (laughing) because do you remember that

Michael: That one guy's felt mustache? (giggles)

Nay: (laughing) Yeah!

Brennan: Oh my God

Sam: So obviously this movie, if we made it now, no, right? Totally cancelled, not gonna happen. But let's say it was remade. Who would you cast as Angela?

Michael: Oooh. Good question

Brennan: I mean, if we're going by the relative ages of the campers in this movie, I think Pamela Springsteen could do it again

Nay: True

Brennan: I would love that

Michael: Yeah, like Betty White plays her in the remake? That's a good question

Nay: Ugh, I just feel like it's hard because I don't know how Angela identifies (chuckles)

Brennan: You would wanna cast a trans woman in a trans role, right?

Nay: I don't know. Yeah

Brennan: But also that's super problematic

Nay: But I don't-- Yeah, I don't. I just don't…

Michael: In the remake you can make that decision as the writer, Nay

Nay: O-kay

Michael: So you can choose

Brennan: You can just fix the whole movie while you're-- it's just a completely different movie

Nay: Then who would we cast? Hmmm

Sam: I mean my first instinct was Katya 'cause that'd be funny

Michael: Oh my God

Brennan: Uh-huh

Sam: But, Hari Neff, from You and Assasination Nation, I think she'd kill it

Michael: Mmmm

Nay: I don't know her

Sam: Well, yeah. We'll talk after

Nay: Yeah, send me a link or something

Michael: (to Nay) Did you just Mariah her? (giggles)

Sam: She was… I just did a trivia question last night where I listed five movies in 2018, they all featured queer protagonists in the leading ensemble cast. And I asked of those six characters, how many of them survived their movie? The answer is one. That's it. And yeah, it's Hari Neff, in Assassination Nation. She's a trans high school student question Mark, which is perfect for this movie, 'cause question mark

Nay: Yeah

Brennan: Yeah. For posterity I did win that round, so yay me

Nay: (mildly annoyed) Okay

Sam: You don't have to brag about it

Brennan: Or is anybody here watching Pose season two? Please? Yes. You're perfect. Thank you so much. Anyone from the House of Ferocity could definitely play Angela

Michael: Ooooh

Brennan: They're really bringing that energy this season

Michael: I love that (chuckles) He (in the audience) said, "For sure," so it's good

Brennan: So let's wrap this shit up, right?

Sam: Yeah. For those of you who have not listened before, we always end an episode by deciding whether or not something has a Pride float, or if it's earned a Pride float. And sometimes thinking about it then and now

Brennan: Okay, that's gonna do it

Michael: That was so much fun for us!

Nay: That was really fun

Michael: Thank you for joining us

Nay: So grateful

Sam: Well, friends. Where can we find you?

Michael: Here

Brennan: Yeah. You're looking right at him

Michael: You can follow me up the 5 to West Hollywood

Brennan: I'm just as bad as Sam when it comes to defending movies that should not be defended

Sam: Bad?!? We're wrapping this up, Brennan. You wanna start this?

Michael: By the way, did you guys know this is our fortieth episode also?

Brennan: Is it?

Michael: Yeah

Brennan: Happy fortieth, everybody

Michael and Sam: Yeah

(cheers and applause from the audience)

Brennan: So our podcast is the same age as the campers in this

Michael: Yes, our podcast is officially ten years younger than Angela

## **Next Episode**

 Episode 41: "Where's My Robe, Sweetie?" (w/ Joshua Conkel)