Episode 6 - Beyond the Crystal Cavern

## Episode Summary

Our intrepid band of un-merry kidnappers had a long rest in the town at the foot of **Citadel** and the **World Tree**.

**Arcturus** rudely wakes up **Mila** who was sleeping quite comfortably.  He asks her if they helped the **World Tree**, they could really go home.  He's also been hearing disturbing voices in his head that only go away when he takes a life.  Scary whispers like

“*You’re a failure, you’ll always be a failure, you’re never going home.”*

**Mila** reassures him, but doesn’t seem overly concerned.  She consoles him and promises that they’ll overcome this together.

“*You can’t trust anyone.  Everyone is a liar.  No one can be trusted.*”

—

The party breaks their fast with a lovely stew of unknown origin.  **Ak'athla** shares his vision of the Cyclops-face and the name '**Zargon**' with the crew.  It’s the best lead they have had so far, and he’s pretty pleased by it.  He interprets this to mean that they need to kill **Zargon**/the Cyclops.

The young guard, **Hari**, comes to fetch the party and show them around.  He’s not in his guard uniform as he's off duty and has come in his free time to show them around.  When **Ak'athla** asks if they can trust him, **Hari** says, “ I mean, yeah sure, I wouldn’t carry a body for you or anything, I am a member of the guard after all”.

**Ak'athla** asks about a person named **Zargon** in the town,  to which Hari replies, “Well no, that’s an unusual name, isn’t it?  Rather like walking around with a sign that screams ‘I’m a fucking murderer’.  Nobody with that name lives here, but I guess I could ask around”.  The party realize that a bright red Cyclops with a name like Zargon would likely be memorable, and they tell **Hari** not to bother asking around.

**Hari** and the party meet a priest of the Tree to chat with him about the tree.  **Hari** is in complete and total awe of the party, thinking them exotic and fascinating. So much so that he seems like he's almost flirting with the entire party, as though they’re one entity.  When **Hari** asks about the party's weapons and their homelands, **Rio** snaps at him, “Where we come from, people mind their own fucking business”.

They arrive at a huge cavernous building with beautifully carved and decorated doors celebrating the majesty of the **World Tree**.  **Hari** tries to explain where they are, but every time he looks at **Rio** he flinches and stammers in fear.

**Ak'athla** tells him to pay no mind to **Rio** as nobody likes him. **Arcturus** tells Hari to man up, stand tall and be bold.  **Hari** straightens up and says, in a firm tone, “This is the residence of the noble **Semile**, the priest of the Tree for this floor. I will try to secure you an audience.”  **Arcturus** whispers to him, “Hey, mate, that’s good but a little more....uh”, he gestures with his head downward, indicating his hand on his crotch as if to emphasize his manhood.  **Hari** nods, and puts his hand on his crotch as well.

“THIS IS THE RESIDENCE OF THE NOBLE SEMILE AND I WILL SECURE YOU AN AUDIENCE”, he intones in firm and manly voice, and then barges into a room without even knocking.  After some muffled conversation inside, **Hari** comes back out, still with his hand on his crotch, “YOU HAVE AN AUDIENCE PLEASE COME IN”.  The men in the room look quite pleased with themselves and young **Hari**.  **Mila** nods approvingly and puts her hand on her crotch as well, as though in salute.  “I WILL WAIT FOR YOU HERE”, the newly minted stud informs them.

The un-merry band files into the room to speak with the noble **Semile**.  They start by asking about the whereabouts of a bright red cyclops, which the **Semile** kindly mock them. They then ask how to get to the **World Tree**. The **Semile** inform them that, “The tree can protect itself, it’s half a mile in the air and that tends to keep people away from it”.  Although he’s joking, it is clear he’s not about to let them get into the most sacred area of their part of the universe.

**Mila** isn’t sure if the noble **Semile** are keeping them in the dark about **The Deathless** or this bright red **Zargon**, or if he genuinely doesn’t know.  Her Intuition informs her that he recognizes the name, but that it’s a name of myth, like someone saying they’re meeting Hercules for lunch. Her brand of **The Lady** has a mild tingle, but nothing very important.

The **Semile** says it’s better if he shows them and leads them on a hike up the side of a basalt hill, into a large plain.  There they see a tendril curl down from the sky, coated with a blue-purple light or shell made of light.  “We expect that this will touch ground in about 7 years”, the **Semile** informs them, “This is the closest to the ground.  We expect a full tree rooting in about 15-25 years.   You can see that someone would have to fly, but also”, he gestures to the many armored guards in orange cloaks, keeping a watch on the perimeter, “ they would be quite unable to get to the tree without observation”.

The **Semile** tells the party about **Bakkasul**, the tree that was lost due to **The Blight**, and how that led to the forming of the guards and the priestly order.  There were 5 trees that came down, but due to losing **Bakkasul** to **The Blight**, only three have rooted, and this one which is preparing to root.  **Mila** inquires about the source of **The Blight**, and is quickly disabused of the notion that the Semile will tell them, because, obviously, the priests and guard don’t want it to happen again.

**Mila, Arcturus** and **Ak'athla** question the **Semile** about why does anyone care about the **Tree**, obtaining it, or Blighting it.  “Well, for the Power of course. We guard the Tree that it may take root, and the world will have peace and prosperity.  But others would seek the power of the Tree for other means”.  They dig deeper, wanting to find out what kind of power they might get from the Tree. The **Semile** is cagey about answering them, as it is a priestly secret.

While they talk, **Ak'athla** quietly sends a prayer and casts Divine Sense. He can feel an Infernal Presence behind and above him.  He turns to look and sees only a steep cliff wall made of basalt.  He ponders the possibility of higher levels of the city being on top of the cliff.

**Rio**, having had more than enough of chatting, aggressively questions **Arcturus**.  “Why are we just talking?  What are we doing here?  Just waiting for a fucking giant to come and attack?”.  The pair squabble a bit, and frustrated, Rio casts Font of Inspiration and creates a spyglass.  He hands it to **Arcturus**, “here, maybe now you can see a plan”.

**Ak'athla** seizes the opportunity to ask **Hari** what is up that basalt cliff.  It is the headquarters of the Order, the Great Temple and , “where you would go if you needed to invoke....do some rituals”, says Hari stammering.  The **Semile** needs to get back to work, so the party ask Hari to take them to see the top of the cliff.  He nods and sets out, stumbling a bit.  He pauses, then squares his shoulders, grabs his crotch, and leads the way in a much more purposeful stride.

“**River**, hey...”, **Ak'athla** motions her to slightly hang back.  While at the rear of the pack, he tells her about sensing an Infernal Presence, and asks her to keep a magical eye out.

After far too long climbing, the party get to the top of the plateau.  “This is where we do important rituals and oth....”, begins **Hari.**  “AHEM”, he corrects himself, grabs his crotch again.  “THIS IS WHERE WE DO IMPORTANT RITUALS THAT PROTECT THE TREE AND KEEP IT SAFE”, he finishes.  **Artcurus** nods approvingly “there he is!”, and grabs his nuts in salute.

The ground he’s referring to is a meticulously groomed sandy area on the top of the plateau.  It appears to have been raked and cared for regularly.

Ak'athla’s Divine Sense informs him that there’s something Infernal nearby, but he’s not sure where.  **Arcturus** suddenly sees, plummeting from the sky out of the aether,  two bright red creatures with long nails, beak like faces with serrated teeth, long wings extended from their back.  They scream in anguish and hatred at the party.

The party are in a football sized hexagonal space with tiers like an amphitheater, each tier is about 15 feet wide, and at the bottom of the tiers is a sandy raked ritual area.  The party are all roughly clustered together at the ramp entry to the hexagon.  The beasts are 25ft up and 25ft distance away from the cluster.  River’s Detect Magic senses indicate that the ground and walls under the sand are covered with runes.

Arcturus preps his crossbow and holds. The first fiend creature swoops down at Ak'athla, opens a gaping maw and screeches an ear-piercing shriek. Ak'athla becomes stunned while the others are able to shake off the ill-effects.  A fine mist of blood descends from the hideous beast and the party all feel its effects.

The blood covers Arcturus’s face, seeping into his eyes. He fires his crossbow at the fiend but misses. **Rio** takes out 3 pink papers, sits on the ground, frantically folding. He makes 3 large backpack sized spiders, and sends them to **Arcturus**, **Ak'athla**, and **Ah'Beng.** They scuttle on and bite their wearers into their necks to heal them. **Rio** then places a small paper squirrel on the ground, which scurries over and sits on **Ak'athla**, granting him Bardic Inspiration.  With that, Rio retreats 20 feet away from the group.

**Mila** runs far away from the group, nocks an arrow, places Hunter’s Mark on the first fiend. She shoots 1 poison arrow and 1 normal arrow. The poison arrow sticks into the fiend who flinches, than reaches out with a taloned claw, removes the arrow, and licks the poison off the tip with enjoyment. **Hari** seening **Ak'athla** stunned, runs and shoves him 10 ft out of the way.  He takes a brave manly stance, as a member of the Guard ought to and grabs his crotch.

The 2nd fiend plummets towards **Rio**, who is on his own. It lets loose a horrid screech but Rio shakes off the sound.

**Arcturus** climbs up a tier and unsheathes his blade Naomi.  He leaps off the tier,  jumping on the fiend and slicing into its back.  He screams, a guttural, primal undecipherable noise of rage and bloodlust and furiously slices into it with all the hatred in his soul, transferring it into the beast as necrotic damage. He looks up at **Hari** and grabs his crotch like a flex. **River** sings her Bladesong, and casts Slow, which affects both blood-splattering fiends.  She whirls in a fiercely beautiful dance of death, as tendrils of energy reach out and bind the beasts, restricting their movement. She then hops back 15 feet away from other party members.

The first fiend, enraged by the damage inflicted by **Arcturus** and frustrated that it’s stunned prey was taken out of it’s reach, rakes it’s hooked beak across Hari’s chest, catching him under the armpit and throwing him 10 feet away.  Everyone gasps and **River** makes a bad joke about burying him with one hand on his heart and one hand on his crotch, if needed.

**Rio** sees **Hari** slumped on the ground. The blood pumping out of him and a trailing splatter forms a line in the sand from where he’s been tossed.  **Rio** reaches into his bag and pulls out a sheet of paper. He tears into hundreds of tiny pieces.  “Look I have a trick for you.  Bye”, he blows it into the face of the 2nd fiend. With that, **Rio** runs 30 feet to **Hari** and yells over his shoulder “PAPERCUT”, and casts Spell of Daggers.  **Rio** also makes a small paper worm crawl out of his cloak and make its way down to Hari’s crotch, providing him with Bardic Inspiration.  **Ah'Beng** calmly walks up to the first bloody winged infernal beast that’s now ripped open along the spine, He grabs its head in a headlock and grapples it downwards.  **Ah'Beng** pulls a John Cena feint, and slaps it right in it’s face.

**Ak'athla** stands up from being stunned, does a Misty Step to reach **Hari**, and Lays Hands on him.  A black mist of power radiates from his Ak'athla's hand, and Hari’s chest slowly knits back together.  He sees the Bardic worm on his crotch, but doesn’t grab it.  **Hari** gasps deeply, and Ak'athla stands over his chest in a protective posture. **Mila** sees that 2nd fied isn’t very hurt, pulls out her Oath Bow, and whispers, in a terrifying tone, “I choose you”.  She lets loose an, renocks, and fires another. Her arrows fly true and slam into the creature's body, but it appears to have some resistance to ranged attack.

Hari's eyes are freakishly wide, his face covered in blood and gore. He looks around and sees **Ak'athla** standing guard over him.  He wisely decides to stay down. **Ak'athla** puts his hand on his own crotch and gives Hari a nod, as if to say “I got you mate, you’re safe here”.  **Hari** looks at him slightly dazzled, as though looking at a holy sight. The 2nd fiend is furious. It moves towards **River**, the source of the magical bands that restrict it. It moves in close enough to send a wash of acrid poison blood over her.

**Arcturus** now on the ground having ridden his blade down the beast’s back, channels all his rage and resentment at being in Urtu. He thinks about the Lady’s brand and roars.  With all his strength, he shoves Naomi deeper into the fiend until his own body is buried into the cavity of the monster.  He slices his way out, as though being birthed by the beast in the blood fountain spraying out of the monster. It dies in a final flapping of wings and angry, dwindling screech.

**River** sees the other fiend is 8 feet away. She slashes furiously at it with her rapier twice then moves away from the party towards the center of the arena and away from the creature. **Rio** casts Vicious Mockery on the 2nd fiend. He takes out some red paper and makes an origami hopping frog, which he places on the ground.  The 7in tall frog hops towards the fiend. A little paper beast that looks like the first fiend in front of the hopping frog, but the hopping frog tears into the paper beast, sending little paper shards everywhere. It reforms into an orange falcon and flies towards **Arcturus** casting Divine Inspiration. The second fiend seems emotionally wounded

**Ah'Beng** is horrified at **Arcturus**, who looks like a sword wielding, face-tattooed beast that burst forth from the now-dead monster he’s still got in a headlock. He recoils in disgust, and rushes over to the second fiend. He jumps as high as he can and secures it in a headlock. He feints right, and slaps fiend in it’s face with magical bludgeoning.  **Ak'athla** is still standing guard over young **Hari.** From afar, he assess the condition of the 2nd fiend who looks angry and hurt, but not yet out of commission.  He reaches into his pouch for a bite of Intan and casts Moonbeam right on the winged beast.  **Ah'Beng** is surprised when **Ak'athla** does that learning that Intan is edible. A beam of glistening light fries through some of the fiend's flesh. **Mila** trains her Oath Bow on the fiend, but she misses a shot as she was distracted by Ah'Beng's participation in the battle. **Hari** is still on the ground, starring amazed at **Ak'athla** like he's some kind of god.

The fiend is still wrapped in the embrace of **Ah'Beng**, its ears ringing from the fierce slapping it just took. It tries to snap it’s hooked beak or a talon at him, but Ah'Beng is rendering it impossible to attack.

**Arcturus,** manages to sneak an attack at the fiend gives it a noogie on it’s head.  He wipes blood out of his eyes, flinging it behind him, reveling in the gleam of battle lust.  He raises Naomi high, whirls her for more force, and chops down at the fiend with all his might, severing it’s wing. **River** has had enough of this crap. She launches a Firebolt at the fiend, slamming into the side where it just lost its wing. It reels with a cry of pain and anger, and dies, cradled in Ah'Beng’s arms.

The voice which went silent in Arcturus's head during this battle, suddenly whisper, “*Faker.  Couldn’t even kill the final beast yourself.  Faker...*”

**Arcturus** and **Ak'athla** notice shimmers around the ceremony grounds, and small bloody creatures start popping into existence around them.

An invasion has begun....

END OF SESSION

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