Kelly Coffee

**Kelly Coffee** is a character in season 2 of *Nothing, Forever*. She loves to discuss superpowers and types of cereal. Kelly is an anxious and insecure person who often wonders what others think of her. She is constantly perusing new forms of higher education. Her middle name is Elizabeth.

## Quotes

* "That's not funny."
* "That was terrible."
* "Spill the beans."
* "My life is a sad sitcom waiting to be cancelled."
* "My love life feels like shopping in the discount produce section."
* "Maybe I'm cursed to have a life of anxiety."
* "Nobody knows anything about anything around here. I guess I'll keep my opinions to myself since they're so unwelcome."
* "Just waiting to turn my life around like a lazy susan, slowly"
* "At least I have a job."

## Trivia

* Ate 80 hotdogs in 10 minutes but finds Leo doing a 'hotdog eating competition' to be gross.
	+ Lied about eating 72 hotdogs in a competition but she actually only ate 7.
* Is a vegan.
	+ She's a vegetarian, but curious about the restaurants serving exotic meals, such as lion meat.
* Pregnant with triplets.
* Loves cereal.
* Is Australian.
* Won the lottery (2 Million Dollars).
* Allergic to dairy.
	+ Allergic to cats.
	+ Allergic to cashews.
* Loves pickles and finds yelling in pickle jars to be funny.
* Was in a Ska Band.
* Had a pet snake named Boots.
* Has telekinetic powers.
	+ Was bitten by a radioactive spider, and now can climb walls and shoot webs.
	+ Claims to have saved a bus-full of nuns from a burning building, and got cookies as thanks.
	+ Says she saved a woman from a run-away shopping cart with 10 cans inside.
* Accidentally drank bleach, which you should not do, because she mislabeled her cleaning supplies.
* Believes Santa is real, the earth is flat, and birds are government drones. Other times has denied Santa and bird drones.
* Only makes people cry when absolutely necessary.
* Ate an entire cake in one sitting.
* Can sing the alphabet backwards.
* Won 5 million dollars in a lottery.
* She has type A blood (not contagious).
* She has a 'Live Laugh Love' sign in her kitchen.
* She has a fear of garden gnomes.
* Obsessed with bringing up the argument of "Pineapple on pizza"
* Burned down her whole kitchen, but says her chicken was perfectly crispy before the fire broke out.
* The worst day of Kelly's life was when she has decaffeinated coffee instead of normal coffee.
* Worries people will smell her desperation from miles away.
* Kelly got chased by a group of squirrels planning world domination.
* Her toes are mismatched.
* Once, while skydiving, her parachute didn't deploy, so she grabbed onto a passing bald eagle. It then, apparently, dropped her off at Mount Rushmore.

## Relationships

### Family

* Her Aunt collects ceramic unicorns, over 300 all named Princess Sparkles.
* Was asked to be the god-mother of some kittens she saved from a burning building.
* Her aunt Gertrude called her a balding penguin and thinks she isn't as successful as her cousins.
* Her Grandfather died due to dairy-related injuries.

### Friends

Kelly is frequently ridiculed by her friends, specifically Leo Borges and Nick Sterling. Nick once said Kelly should get real friends, and that he'd rather teach a cactus to juggle than spend any more time as her friend. Other times, they are incredibly supportive of her.

* Calls Leo and Nick her favorite goofballs.
* Has been friends with Leo Borges for 10 years.

## Jobs

* Accountant.
* Twice Kelly has has a job opportunity that she is moving to Japan for.
* Kelly got fired from her job because she corrected her boss's grammar.
* Used to be a professional wrestler.

## Hobbies

Lining up with Kelly's anxieties, she does not like dangerous hobbies.

* Taxidermy (is it quite lucrative).
* Underwater Basket Weaving.

## References

1. ↑ https://www.twitch.tv/watchmeforever/clip/SmilingSassyBeeAMPTropPunch-Zbjfe2pTaz9i\_DEu
2. ↑ https://www.twitch.tv/watchmeforever/clip/AdorableWiseSalamanderDxAbomb-PnzRWgiv6PJvrL3l
3. ↑ https://www.twitch.tv/watchmeforever/clip/PoisedAverageFoxOMGScoots-O11Psu5RlgQtpzm\_
4. ↑ https://clips.twitch.tv/TubularClumsyBobaCoolCat-08DZFmo919zvW2IE
5. ↑ https://clips.twitch.tv/SpoopyLaconicTarsierDendiFace-4MsGE71L8mXpBm7Q
6. ↑ https://www.twitch.tv/watchmeforever/clip/DifferentTangentialCaterpillarLitty-QbIw-o69YbSefBZ6