Excalibird!/Transcript

## The Time in the Past

### The King's Death

(To story fades into a medieval field of Bird City, with Bird City residents wearing peasant clothes & Bird City is now a kingdom.)

Narrator: Once upon a time, there lived a king.

(Cut to King Pig's castle, where it is empty.)

King Pig: (Speaks to the Narrator) Uh, you meanteth, the King of England?

Narrator: Fine. (Imitates King Pig) King of England.

King of England: & NOW IMITATING ME, TOO!!!!

Narrator: Okay. Fine. Let's rewind.

(Time reverses back to the beginning of the episode.)

Narrator: (Whispers) Okay. Take 2, don't mess up. (Clears throat.) Once upon a time, there lived the King of England.

(Cut back to the castle.)

King of England: Alright. That's better!

Narrator: Thanks. (Cut to a picture of a lonely King of England.) Now, you see, the King was very lonely, & didn't have any children. Or, as we like to call it in medieval times:

(Cut to a old timey video tape styled blue screen. The word "heir" appears with a "Ding!" sound.)

Narrator: Heir.

(Cut back to the castle.)

King Pig: Wait. (He tears up.) You mean I didn't have any children because they were air?!

Narrator: No, you dummy!

(Cut back to the old timey video tape styled blue screen.)

Narrator: (The word "Hair" pops up.) Hair (A plus sign shows up.) + (The letter E appears.) E (A minus sign appears.) - (The letter A shows up.) A being replaced by E in between "H" & "I" (An equal sign appears.) = (The word "Heir" shows up.) Heir!

King Pig: So, my children were hair?

Narrator: (Shouts loudly in his face.) ***HEIR MEANS CHILDREN, YOU DUMBBELL!!!!!!! HEIR!!!!!!!!***

King Pig: Okay! I don't know what that means!

Narrator: (Calmly) & you died without them.

King Pig: (Frightened) WHAT?!

(Scary music plays while the King of England rapidly ages.)

King Pig: (Elderly voice.) I never had he--

(He falls out of his chair & dies with a ECM flatline sound playing in the background.)

(The screen fades to black.)

Narrator: Now you know why the King of England died. (The screen fades to many Bird Peasants sadly mourning the death of the King of England.) Narrator: At his demise, people were sad to see him go, while others just cried like mad.)

Female Bird City Peasant: (Weeping) HE WAS SO YOUNG!!!!... & OLD!!!!!!!!! (Cryings loudly & cries with another female Peasant.)

Narrator: & what did the gravestone said? (The camera zooms in onto the gravestone.) Rest in porkces.

Audience: What?

Narrator: Well, that's what we chose since we couldn't find a gravestone that said 'Rest in Pork chops." & I know, that gravestone was hiding from us.

(Cut to a cemetary, where Rest in Pork Chops is hiding.)

Rest in Pork Chops: Perfect! No way that guy found me! (He zips off.)

(He zip cloud covers the screen & we cut to a sword in the stone.)

Narrator: & here... (The stone is covered in enchanting light & 'Ode to Joy' plays.) is the central thing of this story! The sword in the stone!!!... Or as we like to call it...

(Cut to the old timey blue screen again, with the word "Excalibird!' shown.)

Narrator:... Excalibird!!!!!

('Ode to Joy' immediately stops playing.)

Audience: What?

Narrator: (Sighs in frustration.) Excalibird is a combination of Excalibur & "bird". You understand now?

Audience: Uh-huh.

Narrator: Good!

### Bombthur & the Sword

(Cut to the next morning. Where citizens are curiously walking up to the sword in the stone.)

Male Bird Kingdom Peasent: What iseth that?

Teenage Bird Kingdom Peasent: (Texts on her scroll.) Ugh. Musteth be a swordeth, or whatevereth.

Adult Bird Kingdom Peasent: Everybody, we musteth pull the swordeth out of this painfulleth anvil!

(The Peasents cheer & they rush over to the sword.)

(Cut to a montage of the Peasants trying to pull the sword out of the stone.)

Narrator: They found the sword, but couldn't pull it out. Nobody, no matter how big & heavy they were.

(10 years later...)

Narrator: 10 years later, everyone gave up, but they decided to give a crown to the person who would win the great tournament of Bird Kingdom history.

(Trumpets play.)

(Cut to a sunny field, where Bombthur is walking back & forth.)

Bombthur: Come oneth. You goteth to win thy tournament.

Larryeth: Ha! Good luck, thy brother!

Bombthur: Ugh. Larryeth, when is one of these days are you gonnaeth stop bullying me-eth?

Larryeth: Well, onlyeth until thy manage to do something great.

(Larryeth laughs & walks off & while Bombthur angrily watches.)

Bombthur: I'll show you! I'll show you, jerky brothereth!

Narrator: (To Bombthur) Just ignore him. He'll slow you down.

Bombthur: (To the Narrator) You're right.

(Cut to later that day.)

Narrator: Later that day...

(Larryeth throws an arrow.)

Larryeth: Hey brother! You better try this!... If you can.

(Bombthur groans & walks towards him, & Larryeth throws the arrow away from the target & into the forest.)

Larryeth: Go get it, sucker!

(Bombthur does what he said & chases after the arrow.)

Larryeth: (Laughs) Sucker!

(Bombthur is continuing to follow the arrow & finally catches it. He realizes that he's lost.

Bombthur: Gosh darneth it! I'm lost in thy woods!

Narrator: He got lost in the forest & we noticed 3 wizards that looked very familiar.

Jorge: (Whispers.) Psst. Bombthur! Over hereth.

Bombthur: What?

(Bombthur heads over to a bush & three wizards appear behind it.)

Jeff: I see you want to enter our tournament.

Jon: Now, if you wanteth to enter the tournament, you needeth to learn the skills of a warrioreth knight.

Bombthur: Okay, but whateth does one need to learneth about the ways of thateth?

Jeff, Jon & Jorge: We'll show you.

(Cut to a montage of the wizards teaching Bombeth life lessons.)

Narrator: Once he trained, he was ready for the challenge.

(Cut to Bombthur walking away from Larryeth.)

Bombthur: Laugheth while you're at it. I'm preparing for the tournamenteth!

Larryeth: Hah! You won't be ableth to survive 5 seconds in there!

(Bombthur continues to walk off.)

### How the Sword was Pulled

(Bombthur enters the tournament.)

Announcer: Uh, you forgot you're sword.

Bombthur: What?!

(The screen pauses.)

Narrator: Realizing that he forgot his sword, he went into complete panic mode. Literally.

(Bombthur screams & rushes around the Kingdom, searching around the kingdom. He then sees the sword in the stone & pulls it out, be he gasps after he pulls it out & sees the sword fly all the way towards a statue of Red.)

Red Statue: Seriously?

(The Queen of England gasps after seeing the sword out of the stone. She walks over towards Bombthur.)

Queen of England: You musteth be the one who pullethed the sword out of the stone!

(The Peasents gasps in adore & they cheer.)

Narrator: So, he pulled out the sword, & was praised the new king of England. (A crown pops on King Bombthur's head.)

Peasents: Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

### End of the Dream

(We fade back to the modern day, where Matilda is on his bed.)

Matilda: Wake up! WAKE UP!!

(Bomb wakes up, shrieking.)

Bomb: Who was that?!

Matilda: Um, me. You were having a crazy dream & with that dream happening, I somehow found this (Holds up Excalibur.) sword. It just showed up in the yard.

(Bomb smiles as the episode irises out. The episode ends. For more info, click here.)