TRP: Goro, Hansel, and Morgan (Bad Leg)

Izzy  at 5:18 PM

[SETTING: Night 268, the woods outside camp.]

The kids were all right. Hansel had been wrapped around Jonn for ... had to be at least a few hours, now, with Luci clinging onto her brother, too, and Roddy turning up to add onto the hug pile, saying something about having had an argument with Goro. Hansel frowned about it and told Roddy it'd be all right, and he stayed with them until he felt like he might doze off, because goddamn, having all three of them together and safe was such a fucking relief, after the past couple days.

He was telling himself that they needed him, but fuck if he didn't need them, right now.

It got later, though, and he raised his head back up groggily, and realized Goro still wasn't anywhere near the fire. He did a head count; they were missing someone else. Took him a minute to figure out who it was when there were so many of them, right now -- just about the entire goddamn makeshift army they'd raised to defend the Sanctuary -- but he realized it was Morgan Wyn. Huh. Maybe she was with him.

Didn't matter either way. He murmured to Jonn that he was getting up, and carefully extracted himself, leaving the kids to pile into each other, and stopped by Mishka and Joan to kiss Mishka's head and say where he was going, in case it took him a while. Then he wandered off in the direction of where he'd seen Goro last.

There were tracks to follow -- the signs of someone who didn't know how to cover them or just didn't care -- and after the trailed them for a bit, he heard quiet whistling. Didn't sound like Goro. Wyn, though, maybe, so he followed that, and sure enough, found her lounging in the crook of a tree, swinging her leg and whistling with her eyes closed. She didn't seem to realize he'd come up until he spoke.

.

"Hey."

Then she yipped and about fell out of the tree, scrambling and just barely keeping her grip. "Mother fucker, man, don't sneak up on a person like that."

"Yeah, picture of fuckin' stealth, that's me." Well, actually, with the Mask charm ... anyway. "You seen Goro?"

"I'm not a fuckin' snitch."

"So, yeah, then."

She scoffed and narrowed her eyes at him, then stabbed a finger at him, too. "You gonna fuckin' yell at him or some shit? He thinks you're gonna be mad at him."

He gave her a confused look. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm out here in the goddamn cold lookin' for my fiance to yell at him, not get him to fuckin' come back to camp and warm up and stay safe 'cause I'm goddamn worried."

"Hmm." She kept squinting, then seemed to give up and rested back against the tree. "Don't snitch on me for snitching," she muttered, and jerked her thumb to the south.

Hansel went that way, picking the trail back up. Goro had come pretty far out. The land here was flat enough that the ambient glow of the large campfire could still be seen, but only just. He finally spotted the toes of Goro's shoes peeking out from the inside of a hollow tree. Wasn't the worst shelter, as they went.

Before her came any closer, he softly called out, "Hey, ahuv. It's me," then came slowly up to the tree and crouched down. Goro was all crunched up inside it, wrapped around his knees. He looked cold. "Hey."

Lina  at 5:28 PM

Goro's heart leapt as soon as he heard Hansel's voice. And he had to remind himself: Nope. Nope. Tonight, he'd fucked up. This was bad. He curled into an even tighter ball.

When Hansel crouched down outside the tree, Goro scooted back as far as he could, but pressed one foot against the side of the opening to make it clear that wasn't an invitation to join him. He didn't think Hansel would fit, anyway. "What is it?"

Izzy  at 5:30 PM

"Uh." Hm. "Just, uh ... missed you."

Lina  at 5:31 PM

Well, Roddy hadn't fucking tattled on him, then. Fucking miracle. "Mm." He tugged the collar of his robe up to cover his mouth.

Izzy  at 5:32 PM

"Uh," he said again. Okay, yeah. Might be here a while, after all. He settled down cross-legged. "You plannin' to come outta that tree?"

Lina  at 5:33 PM

"Nah. Someone need healing?"

Izzy  at 5:34 PM

"Nope. S'just that I don't think I'm gonna fit in there." He shrugged his coat off and tried to pass it in to Goro, see if he'd take it.

Lina  at 5:44 PM

Ah, fuck. Goro knew he was acting on instinct right now--his head felt like too much of a fucking mess to do anything else--but his instincts were fucking at war with each other. He was a fucking animal, pulled in two different directions. The draw toward Hansel (warm, safe, good) and the drive to run, hide himself, get away... the part of him that knew warmth and safety were fucking myths--

"I--I fuckin'--I told Roddy his mom fucking laid an egg and then ditched him before he hatched. And I think I told him to fuck off, and I called him an idiot." Goro used his foot to push the coat away. "Laid into that fucking kid. For no good reason."

Izzy  at 5:48 PM

Hansel frowned. Eldath. That was fucking harsh.

He brushed a little dirt off his coat. "Yeah, he said you two had a fuckin' argument. Said he yelled at you for no good reason, too." He held the coat back out. "You both had a bad fuckin' day, ahuv. It's all right."

Lina  at 5:49 PM

Goro scowled. It fucking wasn't. "I also hit him."

Izzy  at 5:56 PM

"Bullshit. No, you didn't." He gave up on the coat, though, swinging it back to rest around his own shoulder. "Why would you say that, eh? If you're tryin' to get rid of me, it ain't gonna work."

Lina  at 5:58 PM

Honestly, Goro didn't fucking know why he'd said it. Was a weird way to get his point across. "Just... you oughta fucking know. So we can get the hard part over with."

Izzy  at 6:00 PM

"Oughta fuckin' know what? You had a fight with Roddy. I already know. S'okay, love."

Lina  at 6:04 PM

Of all the reactions Goro imagined Hansel having when he heard the details, this wasn't fuckin' one of them. So Goro didn't really know what to do. "Is not," he muttered.

He pulled his robe up to cover the rest of his face. God, he didn't want to be here anymore. But in a weird way, it felt like he'd committed. Couldn't quit the tree trunk.

Izzy  at 6:07 PM

Hansel was quiet. He studied Goro curled up, hiding in the tree, hiding in his clothes.

"Hey. Goro."

Lina  at 6:07 PM

"Mm."

Izzy  at 6:08 PM

"Lookit me, ahuv."

Lina  at 6:10 PM

Goro shook his head. But he peeked out anyway, carefully uncovering one eye.

Izzy  at 6:12 PM

Hansel spread his arms, and the coat, to make a small, safe, warm place where Goro could nestle, trying to say, c'mon, please hide here instead.

Lina  at 6:26 PM

Goro whimpered and covered his eye up again, shaking his head. "Can't. I can't move."

Didn't fucking know why. He wanted to. Oh, god, he fucking wanted to. But he was frozen up. Felt like looking at a delicious, hot, filling meal, and being so damn hungry, but having his jaw locked shut. Just couldn't.

Izzy  at 6:29 PM

"All right. I'm gonna help you." He shifted closer, as close as he could get, so Goro wouldn't have to be out in the world for more that a beat between hiding spots. "That okay?"

Lina  at 6:29 PM

He nodded.

Izzy  at 6:38 PM

Hansel reached into the hollow tree and gently took Goro's arms, pulling him forward very carefully, just enough so that he could get his hands behind Goro -- not enough to pull him out yet. He leaned in, first, so that he was just about blocking off the little entrance entirely, and his coat had fallen to the sides like extra walls. Then he scooped Goro towards him, more than pulled, moving slowly and tightening his arms around behind Goro's back to steadily gather Goro into his lap.

He kept one arm around Goro and swung his coat off his own shoulders to settle it around Goro's, instead, so that he was caught between Hansel's chest and the oversized bearskin, and slipped that arm back under it to wrap back around Goro.  He slid the other one up to cup the back of Goro's head and angle him in to kiss his hair.

"S'okay," he murmured. "I got you."

Lina  at 6:56 PM

Goro felt frozen solid, jerky and rigid, his arms up like he was fighting someone as soon as Hansel touched him. But it didn't matter. Hansel could handle him. God, god, realizing that--

He'd been completely fucking wrong before, talking to Larkin and Luci on the ship, when he said Hansel didn't know what to do with him. Hansel knew exactly what to do. He was so strong and sure of himself. Didn't matter that Goro was a weird little freak, hiding in a tree, stiff as a board, an overgrown street kid, alone, kicking and shouting, hissing and spitting, driving everyone off, lashing out. Didn't matter. Hansel fucking reached in there and pulled him out.

Sticking his hands right into those blackberry bushes.

Goro grabbed onto Hansel's shirt as soon as he was snug against Hansel's chest. Still felt tense, not soft yet, but warm. Safe.

He nodded. Was about all he could do, so far.

Izzy  at 7:02 PM

Hansel held onto him, and kept kissing his hair now and again, and didn't say anything for a while except the occasional, quiet, It's okay. I got you. I love you. It's okay.

Lina  at 7:05 PM

"Love you," Goro managed to squeeze out after a while. He was starting to relax some. He wasn't so tense his neck hurt. God, he hadn't even noticed how bad it had gotten. "Thank you."

Izzy  at 7:09 PM

"Mmhm." It never really worked when he tried to convince Goro that he didn't need to be thanked for shit like just fuckin' being good to him, so he didn't argue, this time. Just kissed his hair again.

Lina  at 7:11 PM

"Sorry," he mumbled. I love you, thank you, and sorry. Back to fucking basics, he guessed, until he calmed down enough to talk more.

Izzy  at 7:13 PM

"Not the one you're gonna need to apologize to, but a'right," Hansel said, going for a little gentle teasing.

Lina  at 7:14 PM

"I know," he said miserably. Ugh. God. "Or could just... fuckin' run away to Calisham."

Izzy  at 7:16 PM

"Bad news. We're all goin' there anyway." Actually, they hadn't talked about it just yet. Still calming down and taking stock. Hansel knew where the fuck he was going, though.

Lina  at 7:37 PM

God. It was all too fucking much. Goro didn't even feel like he could put one foot in front of the other anymore.

With his eyes closed, wrapped in the shelter of Hansel's arms and coat, he felt... kind of dreamy and distant from it all, though. Made it safe enough to talk about. Like he'd wake up in the morning, and not actually have said anything.

"I'm... I'm too tired, Hansel," he murmured. "I'm so tired of--of trying so hard. And shit going wrong. And everyone's--everyone's mad, and thinks I was trying to kill myself, but I--" His breath hitched. "I didn't wanna die. I didn't. I fucking didn't. I was scared. Why doesn't anyone fucking believe me?"

Izzy  at 8:06 PM

Hansel hesitated. "Goro ... listen. Y'don't ... y'don't take care of yourself, ahuv. Throwin' yourself at hydras, and shit, y'know? Not healing yourself when you oughta, not letting other people do it unless they make you, most of the time. It's just fuckin' ... worrying, is all."

He kissed Goro's hair, thinking about how Goro'd actually asked to be healed, before. He'd known it was fucking bad, then, because Goro never fucking did that shit.

"I don't think, ah ..." Eldath, this was fucking uncomfortable. "Y'know, no one's just fuckin' mad at you for no reason, ahuv, we're your family and we're goddamn scared of losing you, and I don't think anyone's uh. Real sure how far you'd push ... not healing yourself. Y'know?"

Lina  at 8:14 PM

Goro sniffed. He let go of Hansel's shirt long enough to swipe at his eyes.

"Just... feels... like a waste, healing myself when I could be healing someone else." Like I deserve it, he thought, but Hansel wouldn't let that fly for two fucking seconds. "Feels like a waste for me to protect my own life when I could be saving someone else's. But I don't want to die."

Izzy  at 8:17 PM

"Uh ... I ain't sure there's as much a difference between those things as you think there is, there." He kissed Goro's head again, letting his lips rest there, and quietly said, "Your life's worth fuckin' protecting, chatichi. Much as anyone's. It's not a fuckin' waste."

Lina  at 8:24 PM

Goro shook his head, but that was the only objection he offered.

He thought on it for a minute, though. "No one... no one would've gave a shit if I died, for most of my life. I was always mad at myself, that I kept trying. Kept trying to live, I mean. Felt like the lowest possible life form. A bug that was half squished but kept trying to crawl. What fucking right did I have? Every bite of food I took... it coulda gone in someone else's mouth."

He'd never put that feeling into words before. Never told anyone, not even Amari.

Izzy  at 8:39 PM

"I know." Hansel rubbed his back, slowly, up and down. Fucking awful, thinking of it. "Glad you kept tryin', though. Was worth somethin'. Was worth a lot. And a lot of fuckin' people realize that now, y'know? A lot of fucking people love you, Goro. Just fuckin' ..." He hesitated again. "It just fuckin' worries me, thinking you might stop feeding yourself, 'cause you think someone else should get it. You understand?"

Lina  at 8:44 PM

"Mmhm. But--I--I did it right. With Raef's husband. I was fucking smart about it. Got Luci." His voice broke, trying to explain it. Felt like more arguing that he was worth something. Look, I didn't make a fucking mistake, for once.

Izzy  at 8:46 PM

"You did," Hansel assured him quickly. "You did. You did good."

Lina  at 8:47 PM

"And now Raef's got a husband back." Goro rubbed his nose. "And I'm getting chewed the fuck out by every other person I talk to."

Izzy  at 8:54 PM

Hansel kept rubbing Goro's back, kind of fucking miserable because he knew he'd been the first fuckin' one to pile on and give Goro grief over it. He could only say I'm scared, I was just so fucking scared of losing you so many times.

"Yeah. I know, ahuv." He shifted to rest his cheek against Goro's hair. "You did the right thing. I'm sorry."

Lina  at 8:59 PM

"I'm sorry I scared you." Goro didn't wanna fucking go over that all again, but he felt it needed saying, anyway. "Amari--"

He was going to share something she'd told him, once, about marriage. But as soon as her name was out of his mouth, his voice choked off, and he sobbed, pressing his face against Hansel's chest.

Izzy  at 9:02 PM

Grimacing, Hansel held him tighter. "It's okay. She's okay, and we're gonna fucking get her back. Promise." He kissed Goro's head a couple times. "I promise."

Lina  at 9:07 PM

"I haven't even saved my goddamn brother," he blubbered. "And now she's gone, too. Can't--can't--"

Izzy  at 9:09 PM

"Goro, Goro." Hansel squeezed him nice and tight and rocked him a little. "It's okay, my love, my sun. We're gonna take care of everything. I got you. We got it. It's okay."

Lina  at 9:16 PM

"I wanna talk to her. I need her." Without her, he was still that half-squished bug, trying pathetically to keep crawling. Fucking terrifying.

Izzy  at 9:19 PM

"I know. Hey." Hansel pulled back enough to cup Goro's face, make him look at him. "Listen, you gotta get some sleep tonight, okay? Get your magic back. Then you can Send at her. If you don't, you can borrow my bead, tomorrow, though." He kissed Goro's forehead, and pulled him back in. "Soon as the sun's up, you can talk to her."

Lina  at 9:28 PM

Goro nodded. He finally felt like he could fucking move, so he put his arms around Hansel and squeezed him as hard as he could.

When he'd calmed down a little, he wiped his face off, sniffling. "I was gonna... just wanted to say. She told me that marriage means you're agreeing to share your life with someone else. Can't just do whatever the fuck you want anymore. So. Um." He sniffed again. "I... I mean... I gotta be more careful about taking care of myself. 'Cause of you. I'm making a deal. If you'll make it with me, I guess. Sharing our lives. I dunno."

Izzy  at 9:36 PM

"Hm. Mmhm." He petted Goro's hair. "Yep. She's fuckin' right."

Lina  at 9:39 PM

"She's right about everything." Another sniff. "Crazy. But right."

Izzy  at 9:40 PM

"She ain't crazy, she just loves you, dumbass." Hansel kissed him.

Lina  at 9:41 PM

"Crazy for loving me, just like you."

Izzy  at 9:41 PM

"Be fuckin' crazy not to, ahuv."

Lina  at 9:42 PM

"Pfff. You're so full of it. Cheesy. Hopeless romantic. Crazy."

Izzy  at 9:43 PM

Hansel scoffed quietly. "Don't fuckin' call me that."

Lina  at 7:33 AM

"Alright." Goro hugged him tighter, wondering if he'd hit a nerve. Wasn't much in the mood for arguing his point, anyway. Wasn't much in the mood for anything, but just being here, in his favorite spot, that felt doable.

Existing. And not having to fight for it. Hansel would fight for him for a while, he guessed. Keep him warm. Tell off anyone who tried to say Goro wasn't worth the air he breathed. (Yeah, like people were just emerging from the woods to tell him that every now and then. The biggest culprit was his own head, and he knew it.)

"I can't anymore," he said softly, not bothering to explain what. Fucking everything. "I can't. 'S'why I decided to live in this tree trunk."

Izzy  at 8:50 AM

"S'okay." Hansel kissed his head. "You haven't gotta do anything." He tried to think of how to say what he wanted to say, what he felt. "Just ... y'know, the thing about sharing. When shit's too hard, you don't gotta come live in a tree trunk." Kissed him again. "S'what I'm here for. Live with me. It'll be okay."

Lina  at 7:12 PM

Goro groaned miserably. "Not after I fuckin'... eviscerate your kid. Wasn't gonna come crying to you about how I fucked that one up."

Izzy  at 7:16 PM

"Or, y'know." Hansel knew this was going to be some hypocritical shit, given how he fuckin' reacted when he thought he'd upset people, but still. "Y'could come honestly tell me what happened, and apologize to Roddy, and sit down with everyone else by the fire, and it'd be okay 'cause we're fucking family." He propped his chin on Goro's head, and a little more quietly, said, "S'easier said than done, I know."

Lina  at 7:24 PM

"A lot easier," Goro muttered. "Thought you'd be madder. I... I mean, I figured you'd forgive me at least, but didn't think you'd be in much of a hugging mood."

Izzy  at 7:30 PM

"Ain't like you laid into Roddy over nothing. He said he upset you, too -- didn't say how." Kid clearly meant to handle it himself. He'd been upset about it, but dealing with it. Hansel was pretty fuckin' proud of him for that. "And you're dealin' with a lotta shit right now, ahuv. I don't wanna fuckin' add to it. Wanna help you feel better. S'all."

Lina  at 7:38 PM

Goro searched for something to refute in what Hansel was saying, but... goddamn, that got to be a lot of work sometimes.

I should've been the bigger person, and all. But god, he was so fucking worn out. Which he guessed was part of the point Hansel was making.

"On a better day, I'd've handled it better," he admitted. "I could tell he was freaked. Feel bad I couldn't... help."

Izzy  at 7:42 PM

Hansel kissed his hair. Time for some more hypocrisy. "No sense feelin' bad 'cause you feel bad." Yep, Hansel sure as hell never did that. It was a lot fucking easier telling other people that kinda shit.

Lina  at 7:45 PM

Goro was loath to pull away from Hansel's chest for even a second, but he did it anyway just so he could give him a fucking look. "Yeah huh." He snorted and leaned back in, hugging Hansel tight again.

Izzy  at 7:45 PM

Hansel scoffed. "Lissen."

Lina  at 7:46 PM

Goro grinned. "I'm listening."

Izzy  at 7:47 PM

Hansel scruffed up his hair. "Jackass," he said, amused. "You know I ain't fuckin' wrong."

Lina  at 7:51 PM

"Psh." Alright, they'd let that one slide. Goro buried his face for a while, just enjoying the warmth, and the easy rhythm of Hansel's breathing.

"I hate... I hate fucking thinking that... I wasn't there. I couldn't help him. Fucking miracle Vaala was around."

Izzy  at 7:56 PM

"Oughta tell him that," he commented first, then let out a hard breath, and muttered, "Know what you fuckin' mean, though."

Wasn't like Hansel could bring people back from the dead, like Goro could, or Luci or Vaala, but he could keep them from fucking dying in the first place. Jonn'd talked about it in a small voice before Roddy had joined them. Some motherfucker blighting his kid, just about killing him, softening him up for Levi's sword. He kept thinking, Should've been me. He could take those hits. It was what he was goddamn for.

Lina  at 8:13 PM

"Just... eh." Goro shook his head. Oughta tell him that. Yeah, right. Might start Roddy on another tirade about Goro being irresponsible. Or he might say, Yeah, you should have been there. Make it worse. And Goro wouldn't fucking handle that well, either.

"He's... never gonna see me as... you know, a dad. Once we're married. I don't think any of your kids are. This is why. I'm too much of a fuckin' disaster to be anyone's dad. Hell, Luci's practically mothered me a couple times."

Izzy  at 8:21 PM

"Eh, shit, Luci's been motherin' me since she was fourteen." If it weren't fuckin' impossible, Hansel would say she got it from him, but he hadn't been enough of a parental figure for her to've picked it up from him. Was kind of beside the point, though. "Y'know -- they're all pretty much fuckin' adults. I don't think any of'em need any more dads. I ain't that sure any of'em need me," he admitted. "Think you're barkin' up the wrong tree, there, is all."

Lina  at 8:28 PM

"Yeah, but."

Izzy  at 8:40 PM

"But fuckin' nothin'." Hansel leaned back to look at him for a moment. "Y'know, you can't ... hm." Fumbling again to put shit into words. He'd never had to say this kind of shit before, or think about it, really. "Y'know, me and Kheman, when we were on the Blade, we used to talk about Larkin and Jonn. 'Bout the same age, those two. Only time I ever, uh ... talked about kids or fuckin', parenting or whatever. And -- me and Kheman, neither of us were that fuckin' present for Larkin and Jonn, when they were growin' up, 'cause ..."

Because they loved the ocean more, he guessed, until it chewed them up and spat them onto shore bloody and traumatized. Hansel was quiet for a beat.

"You just gotta be there, that's all. I mean, it's kinda fuckin' obvious Luci don't care that much for me, 'cause I wasn't there, and the only reason Jonn does is 'cause he's ... y'know, broken." Seemed awful to say, but it was fucking true and there was no need to sugarcoat it around Goro; he fucking knew already. Empty. "And Roddy, he didn't ever really fuckin' have parents before my dumb ass came along, so I got an easy in, there. Y'can't generally just, uh, fuckin' adopt any random kid. Or ... adult that's kinda like a kid," he added, thinking of Jonn again.

"Anyway." He shook his head, kind of embarrassed. "I'm talkin' too much. I just mean to say, you don't gotta try to adopt a kid that's already got parents and doesn't need you, but Theo ain't got parents, but she has got you, and you can be around for her, and you're not gonna be a fuckin' disaster about it, all right? You're not."

Lina  at 8:44 PM

Goro thought for a minute. "Kheman's my uncle. Fuckin' weird, huh?"

Izzy  at 8:44 PM

"Goro."

Lina  at 8:44 PM

"What?"

Izzy  at 8:47 PM

Hansel stared at him and sighed a bit, and leaned back in to rest his chin on top of Goro's head, feeling more fuckin' embarrassed now for having said all that shit. "Yeah, never mind," he muttered.

Lina  at 8:53 PM

"What--hey--no. Fuckin'--" Goro grabbed Hansel's shirt and tried to hide his face in it, then gave up on that and just started fidgeting, squirming, looking frantically back into his hollow tree trunk. But Hansel'd said You don't gotta come live in a tree trunk. S'what I'm here for. Goro grabbed the collar of his robe and dragged it up to cover his face again, breathing heavy.

Izzy  at 8:56 PM

Hansel tightened around him reflexively when he started fidgeting, alarmed. "Hey. Hey. What?"

Lina  at 9:00 PM

"Iuno. I'm... I'm not doing so good tonight."

Izzy  at 9:02 PM

"Okay. S'okay," Hansel said helplessly. He felt like he'd done something wrong and didn't know what. "I got you."

Lina  at 9:11 PM

Maybe. Goro felt this deep, rumbling fear that Hansel just hadn't seen him at his worst yet. Didn't know what he was in for. That was why people usually waited longer to get married, right?

Or... or, maybe Hansel was just... fucking worried about him.

You don't gotta come live in a tree trunk. S'what I'm here for.

Goro took a chance. Forgot about the tree trunk, and snuggled closer to Hansel. Back into position, before he'd gotten freaked out by god knew what.

Oh. Right. The parenting shit.

"Ehhn," he said. As fucking articulate as ever.

Izzy  at 9:15 PM

He relaxed a little when Goro settled back against him, and repositioned the coat, and went back to stroking his hair. All right. Better.

Lina  at 7:41 AM

"I know he doesn't need more parents," Goro tried. "Just... doesn't feel right, having a stepson and fucking getting dragged into shouting matches with him. Insulting him. I don't think he, uh... respects me. Which, I don't fuckin' blame him," he added quickly, "but... makes me feel like a goddamn faker. Marrying you."

Izzy  at 9:58 AM

Hansel tried to reorient himself to the conversation. Felt like he'd gotten lost. He made an uncertain mm, and hesitantly let his fuckin' idiot insecurity talk, for a second. "Does it ... make you wanna not get married unless shit gets better with Roddy?"

Lina  at 1:45 PM

"What? Fuckin'... no. The fuck. It makes me worry you won't wanna get married."

Izzy  at 1:51 PM

Well, that was just fuckin' confusing. Hansel was more lost. "I don't ... Fuckin' ... why?"

Lina  at 5:42 PM

Goro waited a long beat before answering. "I dunno," he mumbled.

Izzy  at 5:45 PM

Hansel didn't have but of a response for that, apart from, "Well, I ... it doesn't fuckin' make a difference to whether I wanna get married. I still do."

Lina  at 5:51 PM

Yeah. That was fine. Goro believed him. Wasn't sure how to say how he was really feeling about it all, so he started gnawing on his thumb instead.

Izzy  at 6:06 PM

Hansel kissed his head, worried and not sure what to say, how to make it better. Didn't totally understand what was wrong.

Slowly, he said, "Y'know, I was ... real fuckin' unprepared for kids when I ended up with Jonn and Luci. S'why I didn't try to raise'em myself. Fuckin' knew better than that, at least. All happened kinda by accident, and I wasn't ready, and I didn't even ... fuckin' admit that they were mine, for a long time.

"You're gonna do better than that. 'Cause you're gonna want'em, and know what you're gettin' into. And I'm gonna be here, too, and shit, we got about a fuckin' guild and a half of people that'll babysit, you seen that happen with Theo already." He paused. "S'all I mean. You're gonna be a good dad. It's gonna be okay."

Lina  at 6:37 PM

"Nnn." Goro kept gnawing his thumb for a while. He finally quit and smacked his mouth a couple times. "Gavi wouldn't even fuckin' let me touch Tikva. I offered to help, on the ship, and... fuckin' nope. You know, I used to take care of infants back the abbey. Newborns and sick babies. I know what I'm fucking doing. Doesn't fucking matter to anyone."

Izzy  at 6:38 PM

"Goro," Hansel said, "the first thing you said when we saw that kid was that we oughta throw her in a river. I mean ..."

Lina  at 6:40 PM

Goro would've thrown up his hands if he'd been in the right position. "Yeah, thanks for proving my fucking point."

Izzy  at 6:41 PM

"No, I'm not proving your fuckin' point," Hansel argued. "I'm sayin' that's why Gavi, fuckin' specifically, didn't want you to hold that specific fuckin' kid."

Lina  at 6:47 PM

Uh huh. Goro started chewing on a different knuckle.

Izzy  at 6:51 PM

"Goro." Hansel pulled his knuckle away from his teeth.

Lina  at 6:56 PM

"What."

Izzy  at 7:06 PM

He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it back and shrugged helplessly. "I dunno what I'm supposed to fuckin' say. I don't know what's wrong, ahuv. Tell me how to help."

Lina  at 8:40 PM

"There's nothing you can do to help," Goro snapped. He realized that wasn't true, though; Hansel was helping just by being with him, not letting go of him. Goro threw both arms around Hansel again and held on as tight as he could, terrified he'd just fucked it up by being an asshole.

Izzy  at 9:24 PM

Hansel made a distressed sound and held him back tightly.

Lina  at 9:36 PM

Once, when Goro was younger, Amari had suggested he scream into a pillow to let off some of his anger and frustration. He'd screamed at her, instead, 'cause that had been back when he still did shit like that. Right now the pillow thing didn't sound so fucking bad, though.

Hansel's chest wasn't a pillow, but it was close enough. Goro fisted his hands in the back of Hansel's sweater, buried his face, and let out a muffled scream.

Izzy  at 9:40 PM

Ah. Okay. Well. That was something Hansel could understand. He didn't understand why Goro was upset, entirely, but he fuckin' got that part, and he was just glad Goro was dealing with it by yelling instead of skittering off, or at least acting like he wanted to.

He rubbed Goro's back and kissed his head again.

Lina  at 2:32 PM

Okay. He was okay. Hansel had him.

He kept gripping tight to Hansel's sweater, and felt his heart and breathing gradually slow down.

He turned his head to the side, but kept his eyes shut. "There's this guy I know," he said quietly, "and I can't fucking stand him. Just a fucking mess." He wasn't sure what he was gonna say, or why, but he let the words tumble out without thinking too much about it. "He's a sleazy, lying motherfucker. Never fucking fit in anywhere, so he doesn't know how to get along with people. It's like the compass in his head that points at good behavior's fucking broken. This motherfucker--"

Hansel was gonna start arguing, so Goro talked faster. "Oh, boy, does he have a distorted fucking view on himself. Thinks he might be alright, sometimes. Thinks maybe he could put himself to good use, turn over a new leaf. Then he has the gall to get hurt feelings about it when it doesn't go right. Threatens to throw a fucking baby into a river--'cause he thought he was fucking helping, can you believe that? 'Til everyone started yelling at him and he knew he'd fucked it up. He threatens to throw a fucking baby into a river, and gets mad when no one wants him around the baby after that, oh, 'cause what? 'Cause he thinks he can be trusted with an infant? 'Cause he thinks deep down he's not so bad? God, what a riot. I hate that guy, Hansel. I hate his fucking guts, I hate him."

.

He hid his face against Hansel again, scooting, squeezing, trying to get closer, even though he was already as close as he could get. God, all the times he'd done this, trying to bury himself in Hansel's arms, get away from the thing he feared and hated, but he never could make it because it was there in his head. Couldn't ever hide from it.

God, though. That was a weird thing to realize.

Of course he hated that guy.

That guy hurt.

He'd hurt all his goddamn life. Be like having a leg that hurt all the time, every time he moved or put weight on it. He'd probably wind up hating that leg.

And for a moment, that was kind of freeing to think about.

Izzy  at 2:56 PM

Hansel opened his mouth halfway through to argue, but it seemed like -- Goro needed to say it. Kept holding on tight and just let it spill out.

He wanted to fucking argue, though -- say that Goro wasn't a sleazy liar, that he was fuckin' excellent at talking, and talking was always better than Hansel's method of bashing heads 'til something worked out. That it wasn't Goro's fault that he didn't know how to get along with folks, it was fucking Jasmilia's fault for abandoning and making a goddamn kid have to pour everything he had, as little as it was, into just surviving another day.

Wanted to say that Goro was fucking all right, not just deep down, but on the surface, too, and that he'd come so fucking far, and he shouldn't fuckin' beat himself up for missteps along the way. Wasn't allowed to. Hansel wasn't fucking having it.

Hansel was also well aware that arguing didn't help shit, because he hated himself too, and no one -- not his mom, not Elitash, not his kids, not his husband, not Goro, either -- had been able to argue him out of it yet.

He kissed Goro's head again. "All right," he said softly. "Well, I fuckin' love him. Think he's doing his best with the shit hand life dealt him. Think he's doin' real goddamn well, too. Used to, he wouldn't ever fuckin' talk to me, or let me help him, just fuckin' pushed people away. Don't do that anymore, though." He squeezed Goro tight. "Just when he's fuckin' scared. And that's okay. S'what people fuckin' do, they fall back on instinct, and his instincts ain't his fuckin' fault. Kept him alive for a long time, y'know? I think he's doing real fuckin' good, and I love him."

Lina  at 3:09 PM

Goro hadn't noticed he was crying again until he went to take a breath, and it came out a sob.

He nodded. Tried to keep thinking about it all like a bad leg. Hansel didn't hurt because of that leg, so it made sense he wouldn't hate it. That was okay. Goro didn't have to argue with that.

"Love you too," he managed. "Hold me tighter." He had to know Hansel wouldn't let go. Needed all the breath squeezed out of him, first, before it would sink in to the stubborn part of his head.

Izzy  at 3:12 PM

Hansel did, as tight as he could until Goro's back popped a couple times, holding it for a good long moment before he let up just enough for Goro to breathe again.

Lina  at 3:20 PM

"Mmm." Goro grunted, satisfied. He kissed Hansel's chest, and wiggled free enough so he could kiss his collarbone and neck. Then he rested his head on Hansel's shoulder. He sniffed. "'M sorry."

Izzy  at 3:22 PM

"Nothin' to be sorry for, ahuv." Hansel kept telling him that. He didn't think it was sinking in. Might not. Eldath knew Hansel fuckin' apologized all the time, too. "S'okay."

Lina  at 3:27 PM

"You gotta take care of me and shit," Goro insisted. "I'm a goddamn mess."

Izzy  at 3:34 PM

"I like takin' care of you. S'what marriage fuckin' is. Takin' care of each other." Hansel leaned his head onto Goro's. "On that ship, on the way to Calimport, you said you'd help me, and you loved me. Who was a goddamn mess then, eh?"

Lina  at 3:37 PM

"Mmmph."

Izzy  at 3:49 PM

Hansel answered for him. "Yeah, that's right, it was fuckin' me. Same thing when Gruumsh got me. You were there. Takin' care of me." He turned to kiss Goro's temple, and murmured, "Oresi." Betrothed.

Lina  at 3:54 PM

"Will you be mad if I ask you if you're still sure?" He was only half serious. Almost smiling. He kissed Hansel's chin.

Izzy  at 3:55 PM

"Never."

Lina  at 4:56 PM

He rested his head on Hansel's shoulder again. Oresi. Damn, he didn't know when he was gonna have the chance to get Hansel a ring. Didn't even know what kind of ring he should get him.

He was quiet for a while, though. Calming back down.

"Um," he mumbled. "I... I really am alright with babies."

Izzy  at 5:03 PM

"Yeah, I believe you." Luci was, too. The cleric thing -- caring for the old and the young, and whatever. Hansel was because he'd helped to take care of Leigh, when he was younger. Was probably out of fucking practice, though. Goro'd be better off, he'd bet. It made Hansel nervous, anyway, holding something that small and new and perfect.

Lina  at 5:04 PM

"Just... just sayin'."

Izzy  at 5:06 PM

"I believe you, ahuv," Hansel repeated gently. "Listen, folks'll calm down. Gavi might still, y'know, fuckin' be Gavi, but I don't think Raef's gonna have any problem with you bein' around the baby."

Lina  at 5:13 PM

Ah. Well. Hansel thought that was what Goro was getting at, then alright. That was fine. Wasn't like Goro was gonna suggest they run out and find themselves a baby any time soon, anyway. That'd be nuts, for a whole host of reasons.

He just... wanted Hansel to know, in case. Someday. Yeah. Eh.

"Mhm," he said.

Izzy  at 5:21 PM

Hansel was quiet a moment. That didn't seem like ... it. Wasn't like he expected Goro to just be completely, immediately fuckin' reassured -- didn't work like that -- just seemed a bit off. Hmm.

He pulled back to hold Goro's face and look at him. He took a guess. "Hey. When we get kids, or -- a kid, y'know, whichever. You're gonna be good with'em. Not a fuckin' doubt in my mind."

Lina  at 5:25 PM

When. Jeez. Goro wanted to keep his cool, but his mouth twitched into a smile, and he was pretty sure he was a little flushed, too. "Psh," he said. "Listen."

Izzy  at 5:26 PM

"I'm listenin'."

Lina  at 5:27 PM

"Psh. I'm not in any hurry, for the record. Just... wanted to make sure you knew."

Izzy  at 5:29 PM

"Mmhm. Yeah, I already fuckin' knew." He kissed Goro's forehead and pulled him back in. "Had a whole fuckin' drunk cry to Raef about what a good dad you're gonna be."

The memory amused him, but then he remembered the context -- they'd been talking about Raef and Griffin having kids, too. His smile faded, a bit. Least Raef had Az back, and had Tikva, now.

Lina  at 5:32 PM

"Pfff, what? Really?" Yeah, definitely flushed now.

Izzy  at 5:33 PM

"Yup. Was real embarrassing," Hansel said solemnly.

Lina  at 5:34 PM

"Pff, yeah, for me."

Izzy  at 5:35 PM

He scoffed.

Lina  at 5:36 PM

Goro chewed his lip, thinking about Raef. "You talked to Az, yet, at all?"

Izzy  at 5:36 PM

"Nah. Haven't had a chance yet."

Lina  at 5:39 PM

"Me neither. Keep meaning to, but... ah, hell, it's fuckin' weird."

Izzy  at 5:44 PM

"Yeah." Hansel mulled it over. Fuckin' weird about summed it up.

All of it was fuckin' weird. Goro raising someone, an entire fucking person, from a jawbone. Griffin just being fuckin' gone in the red lightning. He'd never had too much to do with Griffin. In retrospect, he was fairly sure the guy had been nervous around him, knowing that Gruumsh was targeting him because of Griffin ditching the whole Scion thing. Hansel hadn't held it against him. Just hadn't paid enough attention to ever get around to saying it.

He should do better than that, with Az. Make an effort, and shit. For Raef. "What d'you suppose the right gift is, to welcome someone back to fuckin' life?" he asked.

Lina  at 5:56 PM

"Hah. A nice pocketwatch or some aged whiskey, I imagine." Goro thought about it seriously for a second, though. "I mean, if I were him, I'd be feeling... uncertain. About all kinds of things. Imagine, though, you wake up and your husband has this whole new life he's built. A whole new family. I'd be wondering what they were gonna think of me, if they were gonna like me. If I was gonna fit in. If they'd even want to get to know me." Not exactly feelings Goro was a stranger to even in his normal fucking life. "So, I'm thinking, best gift is probably... y'know, a fucking hug, and a welcome."

Goro didn't know how readily he'd be able to give that first one, himself. But he knew Hansel would be up for the job. Hansel was so fucking great like that. Goro hugged him tighter, just thinking about it.

Izzy  at 6:06 PM

"Mm." Hansel hugged him back without even thinking about it. Yeah, that was a good call. People had been falling asleep, when he'd left camp -- he was fairly sure Raef and Az had been among them. "Tomorrow. Oughta do somethin' nice. Hey. Y'know his full name's fuckin' Azrael? Like Larkin's boyfriend. Fuckin' weird."

Lina  at 6:13 PM

Goro sneered. "Uh huh."

Izzy  at 6:14 PM

Hansel gave him an amused look. "Uh huh?"

Lina  at 6:22 PM

Goro pressed his face against Hansel's shoulder. "Don't like that guy. You talked to him much?"

Izzy  at 6:24 PM

"Nah, not at fuckin' all." He frowned. "Don't like him why? 'Cause of him ditching Larkin, before?" Hansel wasn't sold on that shit, either. Guy seemed skeevy.

Lina  at 6:41 PM

"That. And... I went to thank him for saving Theo, earlier. And he treated me like something he'd scraped off the bottom of his fucking shoe."

Izzy  at 6:44 PM

Hansel scowled. "Fuckin' asshole." Normally he'd say that he'd fuck the guy up, but him being attached to Larkin was a problem. He grumbled. "Gonna talk to Larkin about him?"

Lina  at 6:46 PM

"Hell nah. She's all moony-eyed over him."

Izzy  at 6:48 PM

He grumbled more. "Yeah, well, someone oughta fuckin' set him straight. Bet Larkin'd listen to you."

Lina  at 6:49 PM

Goro grumbled too. "Doubt it."

Izzy  at 6:50 PM

"A'right. Prove me wrong, jackass."

Lina  at 6:52 PM

"I won't, 'cause I already said I ain't talking to her. Take that."

Izzy  at 6:52 PM

"Coward."

Lina  at 6:52 PM

"Sure am."

Izzy  at 6:52 PM

Hansel laughed and kissed his head. "Fine, fine."

Lina  at 7:18 PM

"Mm." Goro just rested against him for a while, trying to relax the rest of the way. Wasn't easy, given the goddamn setting. "I know we gotta go back to camp, soon."

Izzy  at 7:21 PM

"Be a lot warmer, yep. We can stay long as you like, though." He shifted the coat more snugly around Goro.

Lina  at 7:22 PM

Goro grunted. "Forever?"

Izzy  at 7:23 PM

"'Til we're bones, ahuv," Hansel promised.

Lina  at 7:26 PM

"Mm. Nah." Goro flapped a hand in the general direction of camp. "You got... other family, and shit."

Allegedly, so did he. Was too hard to wrap his head around at the moment. Faker.

Izzy  at 7:28 PM

"Yeah, so d'you, krishi." Hansel squeezed. "Matter of fact, we probably oughta pick up your girlfriend on the way back."

Lina  at 7:29 PM

"Girlf--oh. Yeah, no. She's not speaking to me anymore."

Izzy  at 7:29 PM

"Fucksake. Why?"

Lina  at 7:32 PM

"Ah, she told me she was thinking of becoming a vampire, and I didn't like the idea, and she left."

Izzy  at 7:33 PM

What the fuck. "A'right. She can die in the fuckin' woods, then."

Lina  at 7:35 PM

"I mean, no. I don't want her to. I just didn't think she'd wanna talk to me again."

Izzy  at 7:40 PM

She'd said, Don't snitch on me for snitching, but Hansel wasn't sure he gave enough of a shit. Hmm. Well, fuck if he was gonna speak for her, anyway. Fuckin' Wyn. "We can stop by and make sure she don't pass out and fall out of a tree and bust her head open or some shit, but we ain't gotta talk if she's being shitty."

Lina at 9:01 AM

Goro wasn't sure he'd call how she'd been acting shitty, just nuts. Real damn nuts, though. "Hey, you'd never become a fucking vampire or anything on purpose, right?"

Izzy at 9:06 AM

Hansel snorted. "I mean, thought about it. 'Cause of, y'know, the life span thing, with me and Mishka. Me and you, for that matter." Just wasn't as fucking dramatic a difference between the two of them. Mishka had six hundred fucking years -- Hansel had about forty. "Nah, though. Wasn't a good fuckin' solution. Lotta reasons." He kissed Goro's head. "Didn't wanna be cold."

Lina at 9:09 AM

"Mm," Goro agreed, snuggling against him. That was the important shit right there. "Can vampires even have cleric husbands? Imagine if you couldn't be in the same room as me. You'd be sad."

Izzy at 9:12 AM

"Sure fuckin' would." Hansel grinned and cuddled  him back. If it was the only way, he figured he'd make it work. Maybe it'd hurt, or something, being around Goro, but it'd hurt more being apart from him. "Y'know, the Lady's old as hell, and not just 'cause she's an elf. S'a druid thing. Maybe I already got longer than I think, anyway."

Lina at 9:20 AM

"Eh? Really?" Goro'd never heard anything like that before. Be neat if it were true. He imagined Hansel as an ancient weathered druid living in a fallen tree like the Lady, and it made him smile. "Way better than vampire."

Hansel didn't hate people like the Lady did, though. He wanted his family around him all the time. Would have to be a really big tree.

Izzy at 9:24 AM

"Yeah," Hansel agreed, pleased. "Dunno, though. How it works, and shit. Probably oughta ask her."

He needed to go home, anyway. The fucking thing with Bloodgrut had him worried about Marion and Leigh living so far off, where he couldn't protect them. Had to try to talk them into moving closer.

Lina at 9:26 AM

"Oh." Goro remembered suddenly. "Like your cat. Huh. She still got that thing?"

Izzy at 9:27 AM

"Far as I know, yeah."

Lina at 9:30 AM

Goro remembered the poisonous looks she'd given him every time he spoke. For some reason, though, it just kind of amused him instead of making him feel bad. The Lady despised everyone, apparently, but she'd still helped them. "Druids are neat," he declared.

Izzy at 9:32 AM

Hansel snorted again. "Glad you think so, ahuv. Clerics're pretty all right, too."

Lina at 9:37 AM

"Bah." Goro anchored his arms around Hansel's neck and kissed him a few times. "Alright, guess we can go back to fuckin' camp. Pick up my ex along the way. Listen, I'm not..." He hid his face in the crook of Hansel's neck again. Just for a second. "I'm gonna talk to Roddy. Gonna apologize. But maybe... not tonight?"

Izzy at 9:43 AM

"S'all right." Hansel squeezed him. "Kid might be asleep anyway. Prob'ly don't wanna wake him up for it."

He straightened, shifting his arms to hold Goro around the waist securely and pushing himself up, holding Goro's feet off the ground for a moment to kiss his shoulder before sitting him down.

Lina at 3:08 PM

Goro grumbled lightly at being put back on his own feet. It was one thing to say they could head back to camp, and another to actually be staring right into the face of it. He dragged Hansel's arm into position around himself to make it clear that was where it was gonna stay while they walked. Until they were in the tent, in bed. Which... he was actually just making some assumptions, there.

"Uh. There's room for me in your tent, yeah?"

Izzy at 3:10 PM

"... You think I got a tent?"

Lina at 3:12 PM

Oh, no. Well, made sense in hindsight, but hell no. Being visible and shit while he slept. "Think it's gonna be the hollow tree for me after all, ahuv." Though he pressed himself closer to Hansel's side as he said it.

Izzy at 3:14 PM

Hansel pulled him even closer, grinning. "S'all right, I'll hide you."

Lina at 3:17 PM

Goro grumbled some more. "Maybe pull out that old Chime of Sleep, too. I've gotta rest tonight. I've gotta, or I'll be completely useless."

Izzy at 3:19 PM

"Ahuv, I gave you that chime. You fuckin' lose it?" he asked, amused. "Sold my goddamn finger for that thing."

Lina at 3:20 PM

"Um." Shit. He didn't fucking remember. "I'll check my bag when we get back there."

Izzy at 3:23 PM

"Goin' out in the woods without your damn bag." Hansel tsked, but kissed Goro's head. He angled towards where he'd left Morgan.

Lina at 3:34 PM

"Look, I got my most important shit in my pockets. Amulet, wand, knives. I'm so good I don't even need a medicine kit anymore."

Felt wrong, as soon as he said that last bit. His skill as a medic was one of those things he knew he was competent at, but other people seemed to fucking doubt. Hansel wasn't one of them, but still, saying it out loud felt like an invitation for someone like Gavi or Roddy to pop up outta nowhere and tell him what a lousy cleric he was.

Izzy at 3:37 PM

Hansel grinned wider. "Oh yeah?" Couldn't fuckin' help it anymore -- he hoisted Goro back up quickly, catching his legs to carry him bridal style and kiss him. "Fuckin' miracle worker. So goddamn good."

Lina at 3:45 PM

"Psssh." Goro grinned and put his arms around Hansel's neck, kissing him on the cheek. "Miracle worker. Jeez. What a sap. You're gonna be one cheeky motherfucker once we're married, ain't you? Parading around your two husbands. Your sorcerer and your cleric. Best ones out there, right?"

He was testing the waters, a little. Still hadn't quite shaken the feeling that he was something to be ashamed of, not someone Hansel would want everyone knowing he was attached to. But Hansel had put up a pretty good fuss over that when Goro confessed it the other night.

Izzy at 3:59 PM

"They sure there fuck are." He cuddled Goro aggressively, scratching his beard against Goro's face and still grinning like an idiot. Fuckin' adorable. He was glad Goro wasn't just reluctantly skulking back to camp with him -- actually seemed to be in a much better mood. Good.

Lina at 4:05 PM

Goro scoffed some more, his face turning warm. He squirmed around and peppered Hansel's face with kisses. Yeah, yeah, he was the real sap, here. So long as they were safely in the privacy of the forest.

Izzy at 4:08 PM

A dramatic gagging sound came from the crook of a tree. "God, get a fuckin' room."

Hansel looked up. Hadn't really been paying attention to how close they were to where Morgan'd been. He gave her an unimpressed look, and she returned it.

Lina at 4:12 PM

Oh, fuck. He'd forgotten they weren't alone in the forest. Son of a bitch. He blushed even worse, turning hot all over. Tugged the collar of his robes up over his nose and tried to hide himself in the crook of Hansel's neck. "You get a fuckin' room," he shot back, but it was all muffled.

Izzy at 4:16 PM

She gestured to her tree, but Goro was too hidden to see it. Hansel scowled at her. "Just making sure you don't fuckin' die in the woods."

Morgan scoffed elaborately and turned up a flask. Real familiar lookin' flask. "I'm fiiine," she drawled.

"That my fuckin' flask?" He couldn't check for it in his pocket with his arms full of Goro.

"No." She hiccupped and covered her mouth.

"Bullshit it ain't." Sighing, he went to lower Goro back down so he could go get his shit back.

Lina at 4:22 PM

Once he was standing, Goro crossed his arms tight and half turned away, scuffing at the ground with his boots. Felt awkward running into her again, even though that had been the intention. Just like with going back to camp, the reality felt a little more harsh.

Izzy at 4:28 PM

Hansel kissed Goro's head and went over to hold his hand out expectantly. She was pretty fuckin' puny -- without her hydra backing her up and shit, he didn't figure she'd be that brave.

She narrowed her eyes at him, turned the flask up to chug, then offered it out clearly empty, and swallowed painfully before grinning.

"Fuckin' ..." He swiped the flask away, scowling, and jammed it in his pocket. "Was gonna help you out of the tree, but nah, you can go fuck yourself."

As he turned and went back to Goro, she blew a raspberry and flipped him off. "Fine. I live in this tree now. Fuck you."

"Two of a fuckin' kind," he muttered.

Lina at 4:32 PM

"Hey," Goro said, hesitantly. "Morgan. C'mon. Why you being like that?"

Izzy at 4:34 PM

"Well, you see," she said, "when a grown up drinks booze ..."

"Fucksake." Hansel put his arm around Goro to tug him away.

Lina at 4:35 PM

"Wait. I don't wanna leave her out here."

Izzy at 4:36 PM

Hansel sighed. "A'right."

"Psshh." She waved the off viciously, almost losing her balance.

Lina at 5:00 PM

Goro rolled his eyes. "Come on. Would you just come back to the fuckin' camp? Just, as a favor to me, or something. Making up for stealing Hansel's flask."

Izzy at 5:01 PM

"I don't owe you any fuckin' favors." She glared at him. "Right?"

Lina at 5:03 PM

He crossed his arms tighter and lowered his head.

Izzy at 5:03 PM

Hansel looked between them for a moment, frowning. "Now d'we leave her out here?"

Lina at 5:05 PM

"No. God, look at her, she's some city bitch, and she's drunk off her ass. Who knows what kind of freaky shit's in these woods?" Besides a fucking stone that compelled people to dig for it, apparently.

Izzy at 5:09 PM

Sighing, Hansel rolled his head back a bit. "All right."

"God, you can fuck off, already --," Morgan started, and cut off when Hansel just strode over to the tree to lift her out of it. Then she made a startled sound and clawed at him instead, though she only hit his heavily-padded shoulder before getting sat back down on her feet.

He held his hands up and backed off as she leaned on the tree, glaring more at him, now.

Lina at 5:13 PM

Goro walked to Hansel's side and stood half behind him, clutching the back of his sweater. He glared back at Morgan. "Listen, I know you don't like to be fuckin' helped, but honest to god, you at least oughta come back close enough for people to hear you scream if something happens. Don't be a goddamn idiot, alright? I care about you. Fuckin' sorry for that."

Izzy at 5:15 PM

"Oh, get fucked with your fuckin' --" she snapped a hand at him -- "fuckin' holier-than-thou cleric bullshit."

"Hey," Hansel said sharply.

"You care about me," she drawled, and snorted.

Lina at 5:16 PM

"I do. What, you think I'm fucking lying? Think I'd waste the effort on a lie like that?"

Izzy at 5:22 PM

"You don't fuckin' care about me, you just want shit from me."

She cut her eyes at Hansel. Looked kind of ... panicked, or something, more than pissed off. Cornered. Kept talking, though.

"You just wanna feel fucking good about yourself for saving my life, or whatever the hell you think that shit was -- whatever the hell you think this shit is. You want me to say aw, thanks, Goro, and come crawling back to your little camp so you can feel better that you saved me again. Kept the city bitch from dyin' in the forest, pat yourself on the back, buddy," she snapped. "I don't owe you shit, Voronin. Fuck off."

That was fuckin' enough of that. Hansel tried again to direct Goro away, silently, hand tight on his shoulder.

Lina at 5:33 PM

Goro tried to lunge at her, but Hansel had too tight a hold on him. He wasn't sure what he'd have done if he got to her, anyway. Just grab and shake her?

Yeah, no. Fuckin' no. Fuck everything.

Instead, he just dropped to the ground, right where he stood. The surprise force of gravity got him out of Hansel's grip even if his own strength couldn't. He doubled over on his knees, covering his face with his robes again, and whimpered.

Izzy at 5:36 PM

"Ah, fuck," she said. "For ... I didn't fucking ..."

Hansel shot her a glare, then ignored her fuckin' entirely. He dropped down next to Goro, curling around him and putting himself between Morgan and Goro, to hide Goro against his chest. He wanted to scoop Goro back up and carry him off, but Goro wasn't gonna want to go into camp upset again. Fuckin' Wyn. He stayed there for now, just holding Goro and keeping him out of sight.

Lina at 5:50 PM

"I thought we were fuckin' friends," he wailed, even though he couldn't see her past Hansel. God, what kind of fucking loser even said shit like that? What was he, a ten-year-old? "I thought--I fuckin' thought--" He sniffed. "Y'know, I don't want fucking credit for saving you, or whatever, but I thought it might fucking mean something, at least. I don't stick my goddamn neck out for just anyone. Thought we had something."

Izzy at 6:08 PM

Hansel grimaced. He could always just go back deeper into the woods. Make a little fire of their own and keep Goro safe out here -- round up Mishka and Larkin, maybe. Eh, Larkin'd wanna bring the boyfriend, though. And Hansel didn't really wanna be apart from his kids overnight. Everything'd been fine a minute ago.

He gave Wyn a venomous look over his shoulder.

She scrubbed her hands over her face. "I didn't say we weren't --." She broke off and made a frustrated sound, and dropped down, too, her back against the tree. "Goddammit. You -- you motherfucker. I didn't say it didn't fuckin' mean anything! You can't -- just tell me what to do with my goddamn life, and get pissy when I don't fuckin' appreciate being bossed around, and be all well maybe I deserve a vote, or fuckin' whatever, all right? That's not --."

She gestured angrily, then gave up on it and just dropped her face into one hand with her elbow on her knee.

"Like I'd fucking know, but that's not how friends act, right?"

Lina at 6:19 PM

"I don't fucking know either!" He grabbed onto Hansel. Not really thinking about it, just needing the reassurance. Two people in his life who'd put up with his shit, be patient with him, not leave him--that wasn't too fucking bad, really.

Even if one of them was god fuckin' knew where, kidnapped by a lunatic.

"I'm fucking sorry, alright?" he yelled at Morgan. Not sounding all that sorry, admittedly, even if he meant it. Just was hard to throw out there when he didn't think it would make a difference.

Izzy at 6:28 PM

Hansel gave him a comforting squeeze -- fuckin' hoped it was comforting, anyway.

Morgan sighed, hard, and groaned. "I mean ... fine. Okay." She rubbed at her face again, and lowered her voice. "I'm sorry, too."

Lina at 6:31 PM

Goro leaned to the side, looking past Hansel, so he could give her a sullen look. Then he buried his face against Hansel's chest.

Izzy at 6:34 PM

Hansel kissed his head and rubbed his back. Okay. Bit better. Still, though -- fucksake.

Morgan gave them both a disgruntled look and pushed herself up, and started shambling off into the woods.

Lina at 6:35 PM

Goro looked up again at the sound of her footsteps in the bushes. "Hey!"

Izzy at 6:35 PM

"What."

She didn't stop. Hansel sighed. "You want me to go get her?" he asked quietly.

Lina at 6:37 PM

Goro ground his teeth. He ignored Hansel's question. "You fuckin' ditching me?" he called.

Izzy at 6:42 PM

"No." Still didn't stop, though. She waved a hand over her shoulder. "I'm not ... fucking capable of ditching you. I'm just ... walking in a direction."

Then she tripped, and hissed goddammit as she fell.

"Fucking roots," she cried, muffled. "Fuckin' forest."

Lina at 6:44 PM

Part of Goro hoped she'd just die there and rot, but he had that whole fucking empathy thing, still. "I guess go get her," he muttered to Hansel.

Izzy at 6:51 PM

"M'kay." He kissed Goro's head again and disentangled them, standing up to amble over to where she'd fallen. Hadn't been a fucking graceful one. He had shine in that flask and she'd had an awful fucking lot of it -- kind of impressed him that she'd managed to walk at all, really. Some goddamn stealthy criminal mastermind, though, falling flat on her face.

He knelt next to her.

Lina at 6:53 PM

"Hey, wait, Hansel!" Goro scrambled to his feet to go after them. "Don't touch her."

Izzy at 6:56 PM

Hansel stopped, halfway to touching her arm, and gave Goro a puzzled look. Morgan shoved herself away a bit without getting up, and wiped one sleeves under her nose, where there was a trickle of blood. She sniffled.

Lina at 6:59 PM

Goro came to a stop, satisfied Hansel wasn't about to get shivved. "Don't--don't touch her back," he said in orcish. "Long story."

Izzy at 7:07 PM

"I wasn't gonna," Hansel said, in orcish, too, confused about it and also why they were fuckin' using orcish all the sudden. Couldn't help someone up by grabbing their back.

Morgan snorted and pushed away a bit more, struggling to get her legs under her and keeping her sleeve pressed under her nose. "Just ... fuck off, already," she said weakly.

Lina at 7:09 PM

"Pinch it," he said. "Hold your nose." He demonstrated for her on his own nose, in case it wasn't clear enough. Then he leaned against the nearest tree and sighed, weary.

Izzy at 7:11 PM

"It's fine, it's barely bleeding," she muttered.

Hansel gave her a scowl and stood up to hook his arm around Goro's waist, pulling Goro against him instead of the tree.

Morgan looked away, sullen.

Lina at 7:16 PM

Goro was about two more snippy replies from just letting her fuck off, like she supposedly wanted, but it just didn't feel right. "Morgan, come on," he tried again. "Come back to camp with us. I wanna hear one of your stories."

Izzy at 7:19 PM

She grumbled without really saying any actual words.

Lina at 7:23 PM

"C'mon. It's been a fucking long time since we told stories."

Izzy at 7:28 PM

She let out another sigh and glared off to the side for a moment, then looked back and held up a hand. "Fuckin' ... help me up. I'm a lot more fucking drunk than I thought I was."

Hansel grunted. "S'what happens when you steal shit and don't know what it is."

"Oh, go fuck yourself." It was pretty toothless, this time.

Lina at 9:41 PM

Goro shook his head as he walked over. He offered her a hand up.

Izzy at 9:43 PM

She took it and hoisted herself up, stumbling a little and grabbing his shoulder for balance, then covered her mouth as she heaved. She swallowed. "The fuck was even in that flask."

"Teach you to goddamn steal," Hansel said mildly. He looked to Goro and angled his head back towards camp, offering his arm.

Lina at 9:48 PM

Goro took Hansel's arm, and slipped his other arm--gingerly--around Morgan's waist to help support her. "Moonshine. I can't even swallow a whole mouthful of it. I don't know how the fuck you chugged a bunch."

Izzy at 9:52 PM

She put her arm around him and gripped his sleeve. "Well, I might not fucking survive it yet."

Hansel snorted. He starting leading them back towards camp, again, hopefully for fuckin' keeps this time.

Lina at 10:10 PM

Goro squeezed Hansel's arm and leaned his head briefly on his shoulder. Then he gave Morgan a squeeze, too. "So. Storytime. Whatcha got for me?"

Izzy at 10:28 PM

She groaned. "Once upon a time this dumbass half-elf stole wine straight from Alobal's distillery, and she died. The end."

Lina at 10:31 PM

"Oh, yeah, I should warn ya. Mask won't bless anyone stealing from Hansel anymore. 'Cause I pray all the damn time for him to look out for Hansel, and being as I'm a faithful cleric and all..."

Izzy at 10:33 PM

"Pfff. That's fine." She flipped off the sky, and Hansel snorted at the familiar gesture. "Me and the big guy aren't on speaking terms anymore, anyway. Maybe he got pissed at me for serving a different master," she grumbled.

Lina at 10:44 PM

"What'd'you mean, not on speaking terms? As in you quit talking or he quit listening?"

Izzy at 10:52 PM

"First one, then the other." She shrugged.

Lina at 10:55 PM

Goro chewed the inside of his cheek for a second. "Listen, I don't wanna be nosy, but goddamn do I wanna know."

Izzy at 11:08 PM

She scoffed. "Hey. I heard they worship Mask different ways in different places. Back home, though, you get, like ..." She made a vague gesture. "You get a hollow rock from the volcano, or carve something outta wood, or you get a nice metal one forged. I had one of those, right? This silver thing. Designed to look like a skull. Little slot in it. You slip coins into the slot, and you can't get'em back out, and that's how you make an offering to Mask, you get it?

"Anyway, every fucking day. Every day, since before I was ever chummy with the fuckin' Sanguine Queen, I made an offering. Every goddamn day I gave Mask a gold piece. And what happens to me? This shit. This shit happens to me." She scowled. "Fucking hydra controls my life for years, then I lose the only good shit I got out of it -- my guild, my gold, my fucking immortality." She counted them off on one hand. "Fucking ... Ysra, and Blue and Goldie, and shit. Every goddamn thing. Every day I said, hey, thanks, Mask, this one's for you, and I didn't ask him for shit, and now I'm fuckin' --." She stumbled, and grabbed onto him righted for stability. "Fucking wandering drunk in a forest, getting kidnapped by orcs and crap. He sure as fuck isn't listening to me now."

They'd reached the camp. Hansel kissed the side of Goro's head, and murmured, "Gonna get her some water. Be right back."

Lina at 11:16 PM

Goro stayed where he was, still holding Morgan up. "Ain't giving you shit, huh? Not looking out for you at all?"

Izzy at 11:20 PM

She threw a hand up wordlessly, holding onto him with the other.

Lina at 11:22 PM

"Gosh. That's a crying shame." He reached over with the arm not holding her up to pat her on the shoulder. "You know what'd be fucking wild? Imagine you're sitting out there in the woods, and Mask himself comes along and helps you back to camp. Nuts, huh?"

Izzy at 11:26 PM

"Oh, yeah, imagine if I wanted to hang out with Mask, but he got all snippy at me and made me fuckin' defend my life choices, so I had to go sit in the woods by myself like a dumbass and get more drunk."

She bit her tongue, and sat down abruptly in place, letting go of him. This'd do. She could just sleep here.

Lina at 11:34 PM

Goro scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Hey." He kicked a little dirt at her. "He is fucking listening. He's looking out for you. He ain't a jealous god, Morgan. There are some gods who get tetchy if you divide your attentions, or pray or make offerings to someone else, but he's not one of them. He listens to whoever needs him.

"He is a tricky bastard, though. Lotta times you don't get what you want. You get something better, but it might take you years to realize it."

And that was all Goro planned to say on the matter. He frowned off in the direction Hansel had gone, eager for him to get back.

Izzy at 11:40 PM

She rested her face in her hands and groaned quietly. "Yeah, well, I guess a Maskarran cleric'd know," she mumbled, tilting her head to look around for Jasper. Jasper was safe. Maybe Jasper'd curl up with her until she stopped feeling so miserable.

Hansel crossed back over to them from where the kids were sleeping, having carefully pulled his waterskin free from the pile of bags and Sterlings. He handed it to Goro rather than straight to Morgan, raising an eyebrow and glancing at her.

Lina at 10:10 AM

"Yeah." Goro took the waterskin and fiddled with it, gazing down at her. "Guess I would."

He sighed and offered it to her. "I'm... fucking trying my best, here. You know?" He fought off the urge to turn around and bury himself against Hansel. He could hold it together for another fucking minute.

Izzy at 10:13 AM

She eyed the waterskin distrustfully with a curled lip, but then accepted it and took a sip, muttering, "Yeah, ain't we fuckin' all, doll."

It was actually water. She drank a bit more, and cast a glance up at both of them. "Thanks."

Hansel shrugged a shoulder.

Lina at 10:17 AM

"You, uh. You need anything else?" His fingers were twitching, but he had nothing to fiddle with, so he just worried the hem of his sleeve. "I could try flushing the alcohol outta you with a spell, but then you'd just probably be fucking hungover."

Izzy at 10:26 AM

She waved it off.

Lina at 10:36 AM

Fuckin'... damn it all. He didn't want to just leave her alone, but god, he didn't have anything left in him to give. He needed to be tucked into Hansel's bed, strategically positioned with Hansel between him and the rest of the camp, blankets pulled over his head. And he needed it soon, before he panicked and took off into the woods again.

Couldn't let himself get that far, since it wouldn't be fair to Hansel. But he felt so fucking exposed and weak, standing there in camp, and it wasn't gonna get better any time soon.

"Jasper," he blurted. That idea felt like a lifeline. Someone trustworthy keeping an eye on Morgan. "Bet she'd wanna see you."

Izzy at 10:42 AM

"Yeah," she said. "Yeah, maybe."

She held the waterskin back up, about half empty, now. She kind of wanted to make some crack about how she'd track Jasper down just as soon as she could walk again, but she also kind of wanted to throw up. Chances were, she was either keeling over and passing out right here, or she'd be crawling around the camp like an idiot until she bumped into Jasper. Real dignified, like.

Goro had yelled at her for ditching him, but it wasn't like he looked like he was dying to stick around with her, either. She tried waving him off again and bit back a nasty comment to run him off more effectively.

Lina at 10:49 AM

Goro took the waterskin and passed it back to Hansel, then promptly threw himself at him too, arms around him and face buried against his chest, leaning all his weight against him. Didn't even care if Morgan told them to get a room or whatever. Was either that or running.

This fucking day. He had to be done.

Izzy at 10:53 AM

Hansel lifted him up off his feet without hesitating, one arm looped around the small of his back. He angled the hand busy with the waterskin at Morgan, then went to carry Goro somewhere more secluded, but not too far away from the fire.

Lina at 10:54 AM

"Can't do it," Goro mumbled, even though Hansel hadn't asked. "Too tired."

Izzy at 10:59 AM

"Ain't gotta do shit, ahuv," Hansel promised. "I got you."

He went just past where the kids were sleeping, so that the pile of them would be a little extra cover, and knelt down so Goro could sit while he set up his bedroll. Paused now and then to lean in and kiss his face. Once it was rolled out, he gently pulled the coat off Goro's shoulders to lay it out over the top, for a little extra warmth, pulled his sweater off over his head, and tugged Goro closer to urge him in.

Lina at 11:18 AM

Okay. This was okay. Goro let Hansel coax him into the bed. He curled up against Hansel's chest--started trying to put his arms around Hansel, but nah. He folded them against himself instead, making himself as small as he could so Hansel could cover as much of him as possible.

Hansel's arms protecting his back, one hand covering his hip and the other covering his shoulder, that was better than the best armor he'd ever put on. Real or figurative. Hah.

He still felt rigid, at first. But he settled into the rhythm of Hansel's breathing, the occasional kisses Hansel placed on his head.

Kept reminding himself what Hansel had said to him. Ain't gotta do shit, ahuv. I got you.

He was safe. For just right now, he could rest.

Izzy at 11:22 AM

[END]

Title: Bad Leg. Summary: Hansel lures Goro out of his hiding tree with cuddles. Goro has the realization that he hates himself because he's in pain. Hansel continues cuddling him. They retrieve a drunk, emotional Morgan from the woods, as well.