Little Women: A Much Different Story/Transcript

Jo: Good evening, I'm Jo March. The following movie you are about to see may not be quite faithful to the original Little Women story. For example, we take things a bit different. So, you might find the film an entire waste of a great concept. But just for the record, me and the other characters in this flick don't do a whole lot of comedy. Enjoy the show.

(Screen fades to black.)

[Voice-Over]

(We see clouds and then a hill.)

Jo: This is an old fashioned land. It is 1864. The civil war may still be going on somewhere away from our hometown.

(The screen shows the house of the March family.)

Jo: This is the house where I'm from. Very old fashioned am I right? Those are my 3 sisters. Meg, Beth and Amy. And let's not forget me. But where am I?

(Jo is in the shower)

Jo: Just in the shower. Sure, watching a 15 year old in the shower in this kind of story, is a bit unnecessary. But at least you won't be seeing all the body parts you don't want to know of.

Jo: Why not we do a bit of my other sisters' story? Shall we?

Amy: Hey Beth, guess what day it is?

Beth: Is it April 1st?

Amy: You're correct. And you know what happens on April 1st? April Fools Day.

Beth: That'll be fun. What kind of pranks are you gonna do?

Amy: Good question, Meg should see this and you too.

Beth: I bet it'll be funny.

(Jo scrubs her arms with soap in the shower as Meg, Beth and Amy approach the shower curtain.)

Jo; Huh? Must be the clouds blocking the sun.

Amy: April fools you little sausage.

Jo: (Screams)

(Meg, Beth and Amy laugh.)

Jo: That's not funny. What are you guys, a body looker? I could've fainted.

Beth: Oh my. What are we doing? Amy, from now on, don't do shower pranks.

Amy: Ok.

Jo: You know, you could've like did something else like put a fake spider in the tub. I don't get scared by that, I just jump.

(Jo turns the shower off.)

Jo: Meg, would you get me a towel?

Meg: Can't you?

Jo: I kindly asked.

Meg: But why should I get a towel? We are sisters.

Jo: Cause I have no clothes on gosh darn it!

Amy: Never mind that Jo, here's a towel.

Jo: Thank you Amy.

Mary March: Girls, come downstairs, I have an announcement.

(Meg, Jo (In a towel), Beth and Amy walk downstairs.)

Mary: Jo, what's with you in a towel?

Jo: The girls decided to prank me in the shower.

Mary: Amy, what were you thinking?

Amy: It's not my fault that April Fools day exists.

Beth: Let's not trigger an argument here.

Mary: I agree. Anyways, I called you all down here because I will be going on a 2 week vacation. So I'm asking you girls to take care of the house while I'm away.

Meg: Where are you going?

Mary: There's a parent teacher conference about rebuilding Amy's old school after the civil war.

Amy: Ooh. Can I come along too? I want to show them my new ideas for the school year.

Mary: Sorry Amy, but they said kids couldn't come.

Amy: Aww.....

Mary: But tell you what, you can give me letters through the hotel I'll be going too. It has a mailbox. This is the address of the hotel.

Amy: Now why didn't I think about that?

Mary: Well my darlings, I should really go. The maid who cleans stuff and cooks is also on vacation to a best maids contest. Have a good time.

Jo: Later mother. Feel free to write us some letters.

Mary: Will do.

Jo: Well everyone, with no older ones around besides me and Meg, what shall we do?

Beth: Well, why not you and Amy go out to the market to get some groceries for the next 2 weeks.

Jo: Great idea.

Amy: I agree.

Meg: Beth and I will clean most of the rooms in the house.

Jo: Ok. Come on Amy, we got some groceries to get.

Amy: Right behind you Jo.

(Jo and Amy shut the door.)

Meg: Well Beth, let's get cleaning till then.

(Jo and Amy are on a horse carriage to the market.)

Amy: A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.

Jo: We'll need more than that Amy, we gotta get some fruits and vegetables to be healthy.

Amy: I don't like vegetables that much.

Jo: I know. But me, Meg and Beth do.

Amy: Ok, I guess I'll try one vegetable, maybe two.

Jo: That's a good girl. Oh, and after we put the groceries away, we've got to go to school.

Amy: Will we need to pick up Meg and Beth?

Jo: Mother gave them the day off. It is Friday after all.

Amy: How sweet of her. I wish we got a day off.

Jo: We will eventually.

(Jo and Amy arrive at the market.)

Jo: Here we are. Let's grab some baskets.

(Amy sniffs the steam from a bakery in the market.)

Amy: Mmm.... that smell is wonderful. Can we stop at the bakery and see where the smell is coming from?

Jo: Of course. I can smell it too. Baker Carlos always has a delicious line of products.

(Carlos is taking some cookies out of the oven.)

Jo: Morning Carlos.

Carlos: Hey good morning Jo, morning Amy. Hey, where's M and B?

Jo: M and B?

Carlos: You know, Meg and Beth.

Jo: Oh, they're doing some spring cleaning back at home. Say, what's that wonderful smell in there?

Carlos: They are my special peanut butter and banana cookies. Want to try one?

Amy: Absolutely.

(Amy takes a bite of the cookie.)

Amy: That's the best food combination I ever tasted.

Carlos: So how come you girls are out in the market on this kind of Friday?

Jo: Oh it's a busy school morning. But once we finish putting groceries away, we'll be off.

Carlos: Ah, I see. Would you like a bag of these cookies to go?

Jo: Sure. See you Carlos.

Carlos: Take care.

(Jo and Amy arrive home to put the groceries away.)

Jo: We're home.

Meg: Hello guys, how'd the market go?

Amy: It was good. You should try some of these peanut butter and banana cookies.

(Beth takes a bite of the cookie.)

Beth: Wow, that is good. Maybe next time, you should get the ingredients for the recipe.

Jo: Will do. Me and Amy have to get to school.

Meg: See you girls later.

(Jo and Amy get on a horse carriage to school and head off.)

Amy: Will I be given a ride home? I can walk home just fine.

Jo: Well, yes. It'd be nice to give you a ride so you don't get tired of walking.

Amy: Ah, I see.

Jo: Well Amy, I'll pick you up after school.

Amy: See you later Jo.

Jo: You too.

(Jo drives away from the school.)

Jo: Do I have school to go to? Hee hee hee. No, I don't. Sorry, it's just I'm glad to not be going to school today, I just never told Amy.

(Back at home, Meg and Beth are scrubbing the bathroom until the door knocks.)

(Meg opens the door)

Meg: Yes?

Officer: You two are under arrest.

Beth: For what, not going to school?

Officer: No, it looks like you guys did a crime. The criminals we've detected were wearing those same dresses you have.

Meg: We don't know what's going on but I'm sure those were some other people.

Officer: Take them away.

Beth: Hey, get your hands off of us. We did not do it. It might've been an impostor.

Meg: I agree. You've got the wrong people.

Beth: Somebody..... HELP!

(Back at Amy's school, they are doing an archeology lesson.)

Mr Roscoe: And so, the mesoamerican deity Quetzalcoatl was the aztec god of the sun, the wind and the air. Most of us or all of us refer to it as the Feathered Serpent.

Mr Roscoe: Any questions on this lesson so far?

(Amy raises her hand.)

Mr Roscoe: Yes Amy.

Amy: Did this aztec god live in the mayan land a long time ago?

Mr Roscoe: Good question. Let me check my history book.

(Mr Roscoe flips through his history book looking for it.)

Mr Roscoe: Well Amy, this part of my book says something about Maya so I think it does.

Amy: Interesting.

Mr Roscoe: Well class, before you have a good weekend, I have something to remind you. Sometimes, we cannot afford to take mythology at face value.

(Bell rings)

Mr Roscoe: Next week, Egyptology starting with the excavation of the graves by Ramses Hamoud in 1675, I will be in my office if anyone's got any problems for the next hour and a half.

Amy: Phew, another mythological week at school.

Jo: Hey Amy, how was school.

Amy: Very good. We were talking about this aztec god named Quetzalcoatl.

Jo: I think I learned that in middle school before.

Amy: Are there any plans for us this weekend?

Jo: I'm not sure. We could probably go out for a picnic.

Amy: That sounds like fun.

Jo: Yep.

(Jo and Amy arrive at home.)

Jo: I bet the house will smell nice and clean.

(Amy opens the door)

Amy: We're home!

Jo: Hello? Meg? Beth?

Amy: They might be upstairs after a lot of hard work.

(Jo and Amy check their sisters rooms.)

Jo: They're not here. Maybe they went out.

Amy: I'll call them. Maybe they're at the place where they get dresses.

(Mrs Spencer is in her chair knitting when her doorbell rings and she opens the door.)

Mrs Spencer: Hello?

Amy: Hi, my name's Amy. You probably know me. But I have a question, did Meg and Beth go to your dressing place earlier?

Mrs Spencer: Unfortunately no. I haven't seen them since Tuesday. How come you ask?

Amy: I was just curious cause they aren't at our house.

Mrs Spencer: Well, I haven't seen them. Sorry.

Amy: It's ok. See you later.

(Amy walks back home.)

(Pieces of mail drop in from the door slot.)

Jo (Singing): Here's the mail, it never fails, it makes me wanna wag my tail, when it comes I wanna wail!

Amy: Was that a pop culture reference?

Jo: Sort of.

Jo: Mostly just bills that mother needs to pay. Hey, what's this?

Jo: It reads, "Dear Mary March, your daughters Meg and Beth have been placed in jail for a crime they have done. The crime cannot be identified at this time. To bail your girls out of jail, you must pay the far away police department 900 dollars. Sincerely, Concord Police Department."

Amy: They've been arrested! You've gotta be kidding me!

Amy: What are we gonna do Jo? Jo?

(Jo begins to grow a tear from her left eye and then cries on the floor laying flat on her stomach.)

Amy: What's got you so teared up?

Jo: They've been arrested. They didn't do anything wrong.

Amy: Maybe you should grow up for a change.

Jo: You know I can't control it. I hate it when someone in our family would get arrested.

Amy: Come on Jo, you gotta act tough, we can just go down there and rescue them.

Jo: You're right. Who am I kidding? Alright, we've got a mission. We must bring Meg and Beth home before mom gets home in 2 weeks.

Amy: You do know that 2 weeks means we have some time.

Jo: Same difference. But to get to this far away police station, we'll need to use the horse carriage we used for the market and school.

Amy: Can we at least pack some stuff to go.

Jo: Of course. It might be a long trip.

(Jo and Amy pack food and their favorite things.)

Jo: Okie dokie, the wheels should be good for now.

Amy: How come you say that?

Jo: Well imagine if I didn't fix the wheels during our trip?

Amy: Ah, that makes total sense.

Jo: The horses were given their food and water. Let's ride.

(Jo and Amy begin riding on the horse carriage)

Jo: Sorry for what I did there.

Amy: It's ok.

Jo: Hey, it's Carlos again.

(Carlos walks on a path when he sees Jo and Amy.)

Carlos: Where are you 2 girls headed?

Amy: The Concord police department.

Carlos: Oh, what for?

Jo: Meg and Beth were falsely arrested. We're taking 900 dollars to that place.

Carlos: Ooh.... that's 1 day away. Could I come? I'll be visiting an old friend of mine too.

Jo: Sure. It's nice having you as part of our journey.

Carlos: Uh, actually I heard that I was giving some other transportation, so nevermind.

Jo: Ok Carlos, have a good time.

Amy: So, looks like some people have events to tend to over the weekend.

Jo: Could be.

(Meanwhile, Meg and Beth are about to be escorted to their cell.)

Meg: I'm serious officer, we didn't do anything wrong.

Officer Marduk: Quit lying. You're going to be in here till said otherwise.

(Officer Marduk closes the cell door.)