Episode 420 - A Non-Euclidean Nightmare

Wow… 420 main episodes (and maybe a few early mailbags that we gave numbers to before we stopped that), can’t believe we made it this far. I also cannot believe that our heroes have entered into the throne room of Baphomet. Yikes! This room sucks.

## **Story**

### Long Story

The Tower of Grey find themselves standing before a set of huge double doors, about 30 ft tall, made of an ebony wood, and with Adamantine banding. They don't have much planning to do, so Toby, with his surprising strength, kicks the door open. The room inside is... well, it's weird. It's Non-Euclidean, and makes little to no sense. It's could be described as being cube-like, about 100 ft3. Some of the torches lining the wall are upside down, and are burning upside down, as well. But the real focus is in the center of the room, where sits a massive, Escher-esque throne, made of an "unholy geometry". And sitting on that throne, is Baphomet himself.

Standing at 30 ft tall, Baphomet is Satanic, literally. He's goat-like, and intimidating, generating a *Frightful Presence* all around him. He's got 6 horned prongs protruding from his head. And he's holding a massive cleaver, the better to cleave you with. Yikes. The battle begins.

It quickly becomes apparent that the Non-Euclidean nature of this hellish landscape is meant to fuxt with our heads. And so it does! Baphomet is able to teleport all around, but even so, he is at no point too far away to make attacks upon. This is taken advantage of by Hoby, who bites, maces, claws, etc. to tear at the beast. Lahni, for her part, runs up the creature, landing a devastating amount of blows upon him. Rowan, too, sends arrow after arrow his way.

Not long into the battle, Baphomet, the fiend, summons to his command 10 Minotaur Skeletons, who begin to pile on poor little Hoby. Fortunately, they aren't terribly health-some, and so between Lahni's punches, Toby's *Lightning Bolt*, and Adira's *Chain Lightning*, they are made short work of. Baphomet, on the other hand, proves to be more challenging. He zips and zaps around the room, cleaving at anyone who attacks him. Toby summons a Celestial Avenger, who seems to have a bitter history with Baphomet. This Avenger (Hawkeye) shoots ice arrows at the demon. Skud draws a card from his Deck of Many Things, one of his last 5 (well, 6 if you count the bean) cards. Aaaaaaaand, it gives him 12 more cards. This brings the deck up to 16 cards (since drawing that one brought it down to 4, then 12 were added), and one magical bean, which may or may not be in the shape of a card. So, 17 total. Anyway, Skud also summons his *Spiritual Weapon* in the shape of the Deck of Many Things, so, that's fun.

Hilariously enough, it's this tiny Deck that ultimately deals the killing blow to Baphomet, proving that it's not the size of the deck that matters, but how you use it. After Baphomet is defeated, a glowing chest is revealed...

### Short

Baphomet. Bad news. Big battle. Other B words. 10 Minotaur Skeletons show up and pile up on Hoby, but a series of magical lightning blasts take them out. The real meany is Baphomet, who uses a massive cleaver to cleave the various members of the Tower of Grey. Skud draws a card that adds 12 more cards to the deck (bringing the total to 17, one of which is one of Lahni's magic beans). He also summons a Spiritual Weapon that ultimately kills Baphomet. And then, there's a glowing chest in the room...

## **Trivia**

* Non-Euclidean essentially just means, "weird"
* Hoby's AC is 19
* Skud's is 22
* Skud now has 17 cards, one of which, is a bean

## **In This Episode...**

### **Cast and Player Characters**

* Michael DiMauro - *Dungeon Master*
* Tim Lanning - Toby Treacletart / Adira Harper
* Jennifer Cheek - Rowan Grey
* Mike Bachmann - Skud Derringer
* Nika Howard - Lahnik "Lahni" Caplain

### **Non-Player Characters**

* Adira Harper
* Baphomet

### **Pets/Familiars**

* Hoby
* Toby's Celestial Avenger
* Skud's BattleBot

### **Locations**

* The Abyss
	+ Lyktion

### **Quest Log Updates**

* [Active] - Stop The BBEG!
	+ [Active] - Go to The Feywild and save Melora
		- [Active] - Steal Baphomet's key to the Dimension Chest
			* [Complete] - ~~Find and defeat Baphomet~~
* [Optional?] - Destroy The God Killer

### **Quotes**

* **"That's fucked up! That's non-euclidean!"** ~ *Toby Treacletart*

* **"'Who would think I would fight--' What's the *Lord of the Rings* quote? 'I'm doin' a *Lord of the Rings* quote at you!'"** ~ *Tim Lanning*
\***"And my axe!"** ~ *Jennifer Cheek*

## **Rolls**

* **Recap**
	+ Bachmann - 19 - re-rolls - Nat 1
	+ Tim - 19 - re-rolls - ?
	+ Nika - 7
	+ Jennifer - 11

*Combat Begins vs Baphomet*

* Initiative
	+ Baphomet
	+ **Toby** - 19
	+ **Adira Harper** - 15
	+ **Rowan** - 12
	+ **Lahni** - 10
	+ **Skud** - 6

*Round One*

* **Baphomet**
	+ Takes one step forward, and then is suddenly behind them
	+ Melee Attack (Cleaver) vs Rowan - 30
		- Hit - 21 Slashing damage
	+ Melee Attack (Bite) vs Toby - 33
		- Hit - 19 Piercing damage
	+ Melee Attack (Gore) vs Skud - 36
		- Hit - 17 Piercing damage
	+ Uses *Frightful Presence*, requiring everyone to make a WIS Saving Throw
		- Skud - Nat 1
			* Fail - He is frightened
		- Toby - 18
			* Success
		- Lahni - 24
			* Success
		- Rowan - 15
			* Fail - She is frightened

* **Hoby**
	+ Melee Attack (Bite) vs Baphomet - Nat 20
		- Hit - 20 Piercing damage + 16 Magical damage
	+ Melee Attack (Claw) vs Baphomet - 33
		- Hit - 21 Slashing damage
	+ Melee Attack (Mace) vs Baphomet - 16
		- Miss
	+ Attempts to throw Baphomet, requiring a contested roll
		- Baphomet - 23
		- Hoby - 21
			* Baphomet wins, not thrown

* **Baphomet (Legendary Action)**
	+ Melee Attack (Cleaver) vs Hoby - 39
		- Hit - 21 Slashing damage

* **Toby**
	+ Casts *Misty Step*
	+ Casts *Wish* to cast *Summon Celestial* to create a Celestial Avenger

* **Celestial Avenger**
	+ Ranged Attack (Ice Bow) vs Baphomet {x4} - 24, Nat 20, 27, 20
		- Hit, Hit, Hit, Miss - 14 + 20 + 16 Radiant damage

*10 Minotaur Skeletons appear*

* **Adira Harper**
	+ Casts *Misty Step*
	+ Casts *Haste* on Rowan and Lahni (Twinned Spell)

* **Baphomet (Lair Action)**
	+ Reverses Gravity

* **Skud (Reaction)**
	+ Casts *Featherfall*, on everyone

* **Rowan**
	+ Casts *Steel Wind Strike*, making a Melee Spell Attck with her Rapier against 5 Skeletons - 12, 27, ??, ??, ??
		- Hit, Hit, Hit, Hit, Hit - 39 Force damage on each of them
	+ Makes a WIS Saving Throw against Baphomet's Frightful Presence - 13
		- Fail

* **Baphomet (Legendary Action)**
	+ Melee Attack (Cleaver) vs Lahni - Nat 20
		- Hit - ~~40~~ 20 Slashing damage, also requires Lahni to make a WIS Saving Throw - ~~14~~ 20
			* Success - She's not over-come by Orcus

* **Lahni**
	+ Melee Attack vs Minotaur Skeleton 1 {x2} - 14, 28
		- Hit, Hit - 12 + 16 Bludgeoning damage - *Kills It*
	+ Rolls *Perception* to see if there are any other Skeletons nearby - 15
		- She finds an injured one
	+ Melee Attack vs Minotaur Skeleton 2 {x2} - 16, ??
		- Hit, Hit - 14 + 10 Bludgeoning damage - *Kills It*
	+ Melee Attack vs Minotaur Skeleton 3 {x2} - 17, 16
		- Hit, Hit - 11 + 12 Bludgeoning damage - *Kills It*

* **Skud**
	+ Draws a card - Adds 12 more cards to the deck!
	+ Summons his *Spiritual Weapon* (at 9th level) in the shape of a smaller Deck of Many Things with arms
	+ Roll *Arcana* - 23
		- He can see that he is able to get to any space in this room
	+ Teleports behind Baphomet with Spiritual Weapon
	+ Spiritual Weapon Melee Attack vs Baphomet - 28
		- Hit - 19 damage

* **6 Minotaur Skeletons**
	+ Dog Pile on Hoby, Melee Attack (Big Axe) vs Hoby {x6} - 10, <10, 14, 19, ≥19, ≥19
		- Miss, Miss, Miss, Hit, Hit, Hit - 51 Slashing damage

*Round Two*

* **Baphomet**
	+ Bonus Action: Casts *Hunter's Mark* on Rowan
		- Toby has to roll *Arcana* to see how far away from Baphomet he is - 26
			* He is *any* distance away from him. That's fucked up.
		- Toby casts *Counterspell* to cancel the Counterspell
	+ Melee Attack (Cleaver) vs Toby - 26
		- Hit - 21 Slashing damage
	+ Melee Attack (Bite) vs Toby {x2} - 21, 34
		- Hit, Hit - 17 + 17 Piercing damage

* **Hoby**
	+ Rolls *Arcana* to see how far from Baphomet he is - 13
		- About 30 ft away
	+ Moves away from the Minotaur Skeletons, provoking Attacks of Opportunity from all 6 of them - <19, <19, <19, ≥19, ≥19, ≥19
		- Miss, Miss, Miss, Hit, Hit, Hit - 51 Slashing damage
	+ Melee Attack (Bite) vs Baphomet - 32
		- Hit - 24 Piercing damage
	+ Melee Attack (Claw) vs Baphomet - 25
		- Hit - 16 Slashing damage
	+ Attempts to throw Baphomet, requiring a contested roll
		- Hoby - 20
		- Baphomet - 28
			* Baphomet wins, not thrown
	+ Melee Attack (Tail) vs Baphomet - 25
		- Hit - 14 Bludgeoning damage

* **Toby**
	+ Casts *Lightning Bolt* on the 6 Minotaur Skeletons, requiring DC 20 DEX Saving Throws - <20, <20, <20, <20, <20, <20
		- All 6 Fail - 40 Lightning damage - *Kills Two of Them*

* **Celestial Avenger**
	+ Heals Toby for - 20 HP

* **Baphomet (Legendary Action)**
	+ Melee Attack (Cleaver) vs Skud - 22
		- Hit - 21 Slashing damage

* **Adira**
	+ Casts *Chain Lightning* on one of the Minotaur Skeletons, requiring a DEX Saving Throw - 20, <20, <20, <20
		- One succeeds - 24 Lightning damage - *Kills It*
		- Three fail - 49 Lightning damage - *Kills Them*

* **Rowan**
	+ Makes Baphomet her Sworn Enemy
	+ Casts *Hail of Thorns* at 3rd level
	+ Ranged Attack (Oathbow) vs Baphomet {x3} - Nat 20, 21, 19
		- Hit, Miss, Miss - 51 damage
			* Uses her tattoos to deal even more damage, included

* **Lahni**
	+ Melee Attack (Flurry of Blows) vs Baphomet {x4} - 13, 27, 18, 24
		- Miss, Hit, Miss, Hit - 57 Bludgeoning damage

* **Skud**
	+ Casts *Wish* to cast *Reality Break* on Baphomet, requiring a WIS Saving Throw - 36
		- Success - Nothing happens
	+ Spiritual Weapon Melee Attack vs Baphomet - 25
		- Hit - 20 damage - *Kills It*

*Combat Ends*