It's the Fallout, Boys

## Content Information

It was a long, emotional night for Xander.  He didn’t sleep, he didn’t move, he just watched the door of the cottage.  Every noise he heard was someone about to break in and discover him, every light he saw was a light that’d reveal his true nature to the world, and every bout of silence was another chance for him to berate himself.  When the sun had finally fully risen, and Xander couldn’t take the waiting anymore, he went to Tamzen’s sleeping form and gave her a small nudge.  Before she could wake he put on a forced smile (at least as well as he could via his serpent head) and whispered, “Mornin ssssleepyhead.”

Tamzen groaned and pushed herself up into a sitting position, every muscle screaming as she shifted and twisted and tried to work out all the kinks from a night of sleeping on the floor, with only her arm as a pillow. Despite the hours of sleep, she looked as if she hadn’t gotten any rest at all. She glanced around with dull, haunted eyes that seemed to not register her real surroundings.

She had brought Xander here last night not just because she knew it would be private - the new head groundskeeper had a large family and a house in town, and no interest in taking up residence in the cottage on campus - but because for most of her life, this room had been a place of comfort, of *stability*, for her. She desperately needed to feel stable right now, but going to the studio was out of the question. But, even in the few short months since she had moved into Carter Hall, this place had changed. With no occupant, the cottage had been turned into a graveyard of furniture and equipment, things that were not currently needed, but might be of use in the future. An eerie contrast against the dove grey and mauve striped wallpaper on the walls of what once had been her bedroom.

Xander, seeing that Tamzen was lost in looking around the cottage, silently sat next to her and took in the surroundings himself.  “Sso, what wass thiss placce like when you lived here?  Becausse whoever livess here now clearly issn’t keeping up on maintenancce.”

Tamzen starts slightly when Xander speaks, as if she had almost forgotten that he was there. She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. “My dad was the groundskeeper here… this was his cottage. The new groundskeeper - she’s got a large family, and this cottage is too small for them, so she still lives in town.” She sighed. “Good for us, though - no one will be coming in here anytime soon…”

Xander wrapped an arm around Tamzen’s shoulder and held her, his scales cold to the touch.  “That’ss good, wouldn’t want to traumatize any poor ssoul who had to witnesss me like thiss.”  He laughed lightly, before turning his head to look at Tamzen directly.  “Hey, I um…” Xander sighed with a bit of a hiss, “you uh…” he looked down at Tamzen’s currently wooden appendage, “We don’t have to do thiss right now if you need time, you went through a lot lasst night and-”

She shook her head quickly. “No…” she said, not looking at him. “I… it’s… I know what we have to do… and, it’s better to get it over with.” Her eyes were haunted - hearing the instructions that Xander had received from his Grandmother seemed to have forced some sense into the scattered visions from the Archive that she had seen while they were in that forest clearing. Those visions had filled her dreams last night… and they terrified her.

She turned so that she could look at him. “Xander… this is going to be bad, you know that, right? It’s going to *hurt*... “

Xander looked her dead in the eyes, his own ice cold.  “Oh, I know,” he said in a tone trying to be soothing, “I knew lasst night, and I’ve had all night to consssider what it’ss going to be like.”  Xander once more tried to smile through the scales and fangs.  “But… I know I’m in good handss.  I jusst wish you didn’t have to be the one to do it… Lasst night may have been a lot for me,” he paused finally letting his eyes wander the room as he gave her shoulder a tight squeeze, “But I can’t even imagine how you musst be feeling right now.  I don’t want to be another burden on your shoulderss right now…”

She nodded, her eyes gazing into the distance. “I know… but… ugh…” she sighed. “I know enough to do what needs to be done… but not enough to keep it from hurting.” Her eyes sharpened as something occurred to her, and she looked at Xander. “The Archive! All those memories… those *experiences* are there… there must be at least one person who has done this before, right? What if there’s a way I could *use* that experience and-”

“Abssolutely not,” Xander refocused his eyes on Tamzen, “I won’t let you go diving in there right now!”

“But-”

“Tamzen... *no*,” Xander cut in again, looking deep into her eyes.  “Look mixing any ssort of magic or ssupernatural sstuff and emotionss iss never a good idea!  What if you get losst in there?  What if you find ssomething in there more dangerouss than what chassed you lasst time?  What…”  He paused, his eyes while dry conveyed a deep sadness, “What if you don’t come back out?  Look ssaving me ssome pain, pain I’m going to be in for my own recklesss sstupid decission, iss not worth any ssort of harm that placce could do to you.”  Xander enveloped Tamzen in a big tight hug, pressing her face into his chest.  “If I’m in pain, I’m in pain, but I’m not lossing you becausse of that pain.  Bessidess,” he let the hug go, holding both his hands on her shoulders, “There are plenty of people who’d kill me anywayss if I let ssomething like that happen to you, so it’d be pointlesss either way.”  He gave her a playful wink and an attempt at a smile.

She tried to hold his gaze, but after a moment she ducked her head and chuckled wryly. “All right. Point taken. But can you blame me for wanting to keep you from more pain, when the whole reason you are in this mess in the first is because of me?”

“I don’t sseem to recall you getting uss into any ssort of messs.  What I remember iss my girlfriend bravely defending my honor from a Fae who wass trying to get a little too friendly.”  He pulled her back into a gentle hug, and ran his hand through her hair.  “Then I tried to return the favor when ssaid Fae acted far out of line.  We both sscrewed up a bit, but at leasst we sscrewed up together!  Pluss lessson learned, we sshould never try to fight anything ever!”

She laughed, and for the first time since the night before, a smile broke across her face. “Right… save the fencing for the *salle*.” She reached up and brushed her left hand against his cheek, marveling at the texture of the scales against her fingertips.

“Hey now don’t get too ussed to them,” he said rubbing the scales on the back of his neck, “point iss to get me out of thesse.”  Xander chuckled a little as he held her, “Anywayss,” his face dropped a bit, “Not to ruin the mood, but we should probably sstart whatever needss to get done yeah?”

She sighed, letting her hand linger on his cheek for a little longer, then she nodded and pulled away. “Right. There’s a lot to be done before we lose the light.” She stood, and crossed the room to where she had stashed away the supplies she had gathered the night before. She hesitated a moment before picking up the fabric-covered box she had stored the supplies in, but finally she forced herself to grab it in both hands. Even with the box between her and the contents, her fae-enchanted hand still burned in proximity to the iron.

Tamzen returned and knelt in front of Xander. She took a deep breath, and lifted the lid. A large iron railroad spike, liberated from the engineering materials lab. Latex gloves, bottles of rubbing alcohol, and as many needles as she could lay her hands on at the craft store. “This isn’t going to be pretty…” she reminded him, her voice quiet. “I’ve never…” she hesitated, then sighed. “Well, *you* know. It’s not a skill I expected to need…”

“It’ll be ok, whatever you’ve got to do… I trusst you to do it.”  He stands up to his full height, light reflecting slightly off his sleek black scales.  “Sso,” he says with the slightest hesitation and a deep breath, “Let’s do thiss.”

[***Content Warning:*** Description of process needed to restore Xander to human form - does fade to black early in the process - includes time skip of several hours. Click link to show.]

Carefully, Tamzen cleansed her hands with some of the rubbing alcohol, then pulled on the latex gloves. She filled a shallow dish with the remainder of the bottle of alcohol, and dumped the needles in to soak. Finally, she picked up one of the iron spikes and slowly dragged it over Xander’s bare skin, eyes half lidded as she attempted to attune to the sensation she was told to expect…
After a moment, she felt the spike start to react to something, some thread of the fae curse locking Xander into this form. She felt it heat in her hand, and she stopped, taking a moment to mark the spot with a white eyeliner pencil. She reached over and fished one of the needles out of the bowl. Even through the glove, she could feel her enchanted hand reacting to the iron in the needle, and she chewed on her lower lip to stop from gasping in pain. Her good hand brushed gently against his skin, then she hesitated, and met his gaze, pain in her eyes.
“I’m sorry…” she said. “I can’t do this gently. I can’t hurt you with the same touch that I want to use when we are in bed together. I just...*can’t*. I don’t think I could survive it, Xander.”
“Tamzen,” Xander’s voice wavered, “I’m ssorry.”  He heaved a long heavy sigh.  “I’m ssorry we have to be here right now, but you can do thiss.  I… I want you to do thiss…”
She gulped, then nodded. “Okay…” Watching her, it almost seemed as if some part of her took a mental step back, and the next time she touched him, her touch was firm and clinical. She took a deep breath and held it as she pushed the needle *through* the thread of power, sliding beneath the scales in the process.
Xander felt the needle drive into his scales, and felt the searing pain shoot down his spine.  He bared his fangs, hissing slightly, trying to keep the verbal reaction to minimum so Tamzen could work uninhibited.
Tamzen flinched slightly as the sound of Xander’s hissing registered, but she didn’t dare allow herself to stop, now that she had started. Her eyes were wet with tears she couldn’t shed as she picked up the iron spike and began searching for the next spot…
~~Hours Later~~
Tamzen picked up the last needle, her muscles trembling with exhaustion from hours of painstaking work without stop. Her clothing was drenched in sweat, and it was only her intent focus on the work at hand that kept her from shivering from the cold. She took a deep breath, forcing her hands to steady long enough to drive the last needle into place.
She stepped back and looked over her work. Silvery needles gleamed against black scales, tracing the lines and whorls of the fae magic. The process had involved remarkably little blood, as the magic had flowed just under the topmost layer of snakeskin, the part that in the normal way of things would have shed on it’s own. In fact, most of the bleeding that had occured was her own, from when an unexpected muscle tremor or moment of clumsiness had caused her to knick her own skin instead - Tamsen regretted the need to dispose of those needles far more than any pain she had caused herself.
She looked at Xander. “Are you ready?” she asked, her voice hoarse.
Xander, body trembling and breaths shallow, held himself firm.  He’d been through so much pain in the last few hours, but keeping himself together was his only objective. Every needle was like an ice pick dug into him, yet every time he made as little fuss as possible.  He wanted to let Tamzen work, no matter how badly it hurt.  With a very shaky hiss he painstakingly whispered, “I’m ready, let’s sshed this sskin.”
She handed him the two rail spikes. “Hold on to these, tight.” As Xander gripped one spike in each hand, a wave of pain swept up the network of needles, starting from his hands and continuing until his skin felt like it was on fire. It seemed to last forever, it seemed to last only a single heartbeat. However long it took, finally there was a moment where the snakeskin released from the skin below, no more a part of his body than any other shed skin, but still held intact by the fae magic.
Tamzen watched, recognized the moment something changed, and stepped towards him. She had a scalpel in hand, ready to cut away the snakeskin. Then she shook her head and dropped the knife. “No… a Fae touch caused this… a Fae touch will end it…” Shaking, she stripped the glove of her right hand, still wooden from where the Fae had snapped her arm. The arm was seemingly alive, thin branchlets growing upwards from her forearm towards her shoulder, new leaves and flower buds adding hints of color. She stepped close to him, wrapped her arm around him until her hand rested along the spine near the base of his neck. She flexed her fingers, the sharp splinters that were her nails digging in until they had purchase into the dead snakeskin.
“Almost done…” she promised. She took a deep breath, met his eyes...and began to tear the skin free.
He screamed immediately, and loudly.  The pain before had been nothing in comparison to this.  It felt like Tamzen was ripping open a massive wound and exposing it to air.  Like fire was scratching his skin with every inch she pulled off.  It was excruciating, and for the two solid minutes it took for her to peel the scales away, Xander genuinely thought he was going to die from this.  And then suddenly, as suddenly as the pain has started, it stopped.

Tamzen felt the moment that the magic finally broke, and stepped back, panting heavily, as the remainder of the snakeskin tumbled to the ground, leaving behind the pale skin that was normal appearance. She looked down at her hands, eyes widening in horror as she recognized the copper bright smell of fresh blood. She circled him, eyes scanning for wherever she might have wounded him. When her examination led her to his back, she saw a smear of blood along his spine from where she had first touched him. She quickly cleaned away the blood, and relaxed slightly when she realized that the wound was already healing over, perhaps spurred on by some fading remnant of magic.

“It’s over…” she whimpered between ragged breaths. “It’s over. Thank god…”

She turned and fled from the room. A moment later, Xander could hear the distinctive sounds of someone being violently ill.

Xander gathered himself, his body weak and his vision blurry.  He could feel his skin again, so that was a good sign.  He followed the sounds to where Tamzen was, and crumpled to the floor next to her.  With what little strength he had, he reached out a hand to rub her back.  “Tamzen...” he said weakly, “It worked.”

~~Later that evening~~

The sun was well set by the time the two of them had recovered enough to make the trip back to Carter Hall, and dark enough that when two exhausted and disheveled figures staggered back towards the building, they drew little attention as they made their way to Xander’s room.

Xander flung his door open, the room dark and silent.  Joseph was nowhere to be seen as Xander flipped the lights on.  He nearly collapsed right then and there, but he turned back to Tamzen and gave a weak smile.  “Well, we made it… somehow we made it.  All thanks to you…”

“You need some rest…” Tamzen yawned, then grimaced. “So do I.” She fumbled with the box that had held the supplies earlier in the day, and held it out to him. “I put the… the skin in here. I don’t know if your Grandmother will need to do something with it, so…”

“Thanks,” he took the box from her and held it under his arm, “Never thought I’d be holding my own skin…”  Xander then put it down and gave her a tight hug.  “Thank you Tamzen, I’m sorry for… well for everything…”

She gave him a tired smile and reached out towards him, then hesitated before she could touch him. “I want to ask to stay… but I really shouldn’t. Not today.”

Xander gave the top of her forehead a light kiss.  “You need rest dear, don’t worry about it.  We both need some time to process what’s happened the past couple of days.  Take as long as you need to gather your thoughts, and when you want to see me again I’ll be around.”  Xander gave her a warm smile through his exhausted expression, “I uh… I love you ok?”

She looked at him, fondly. “Let’s try for a mulligan on that date on Sunday, okay? I’ll even let you pay.” She turned away and slowly made her way down the hallway towards her own room.

Xander watched her go, closing the door softly behind him.  He fell into his bed, tired and weak, and crawled under the covers.  As his eyes slowly closed and the tension from the previous days released, his mind wandered to Sunday.  His grandmother was on the way, there were so many things to be worried about, but he just thought back to Tamzen in that dress Thursday night, and smiled knowing he’d get to actually treat her to something he hoped would be special.