BAKA.MSG

{100}{}{You see Baka.}

{101}{}{You see a woman.}

{102}{}{Crypts should not be here, should they boys? [The other Fools shake their heads.] I think you should leave.}

{103}{}{I made a mistake joining the Crypts. I want to be on your side.}

{104}{}{I came with a message from Phrax.}

{105}{}{I will, thanks.}

{106}{}{Then we should wear the coat of a betrayer? One who would deliver their own? No dog is as low as you.}

{174}{}{And no, you shall not wear the mantle of a Fool. You will wear the mantle of a traitor, and my garrot will be it's mate.}

{107}{}{I feel as if your coat may turn again, but your words sway me.}

{173}{}{You shall be as if a Fool, but listen well and mark these words of mine: if you betray us as you would your former mates, then you shall die - with a grimace, not a laugh.}

{108}{}{Phrax is not brave enough to speak this message with his own voice? He is no man, of that I know. And he sends this boy to say his words. Well, then, say them and be done.}

{109}{}{Die.}

{110}{}{He said to leave town and you won't be killed.}

{111}{}{He said have a nice day.}

{112}{}{Hahaha! I like a man with a sense of humor. You can live. Sorry, just joking.}

{113}{}{I don't think you fully understand the ramifications of what you just said. I hope you learn them before your bones dry in the desert sun. Unfortunately, I don't think you have very long.}

{114}{}{What have we here? We heard that someone new was in town. This must be you, everyone else looks oh so familiar. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Baka, Queen of the Fools.}

{115}{}{Why do you call yourselves the Fools?}

{116}{}{I hear that the Crypts and you are having some difficulties.}

{117}{}{You look like a fool to me.}

{118}{}{After the War, only the Foolish remain. If I was brave enough, I would have taken my own life years ago. Instead, I pander to whatever gods of chance are left.}

{172}{}{Gods of fortune, gods of fate. I care not as long as I get the last laugh. We can't join death so we laugh at it.}

{119}{}{Understandable. I sort of agree with it. Can I join?}

{120}{}{We could use another hand. Let me think about this. [She puts her hand to her chin, and parades around the room dramatically.]}

{175}{}{Yes, you can be the next jester in the Fool's court. Welcome to the Fools. Betray us and die.}

{121}{}{Be careful with the words you choose. Not all are as forgiving as I am. I play the part, or the part plays me, but there is always room for another corpse to liven the drama.}

{122}{}{I wasn't sure, was that a threat?}

{123}{}{I'll try and behave.}

{124}{}{It was, now it is among the last words you will ever hear.}

{125}{}{Good, see that you do.}

{126}{}{What do you want now?}

{127}{}{I want to join your gang.}

{128}{}{Why do you want the Power Generator?}

{129}{}{I don't know if I should trust you. Prove your worth.}

{130}{}{This chicken walks into a bar . . .}

{131}{}{I'm the best fighter around.}

{132}{}{You could use a good man around here.}

{133}{}{[Minutes pass as you finish your joke. With a nervous smile, you meet her eyes. She laughs.] I like you. You have proven you understand the Joke. You are now a Fool. Betray us and die.}

{134}{}{We'll see about that.}

{135}{}{Skippy? Your turn.}

{136}{}{There is only one thing that separates Scrapheap from the wasteland: the stench of Brahmin dung. But without that dung, there would be no power generator.

{176}{}{And without that power generator, there is no reason to be in this dunghole. The generator provides light, warmth and even some hair-raising experiences.}

{137}{}{Why don't you control it?}

{138}{}{Thanks!}

{139}{}{Because the Crypts do! They outnumber us for the moment, but if you were to join with us, we could take them.}

{140}{}{Sure. I'll join.}

{141}{}{No, thanks.}

{142}{}{You are a Fool. Did you think I would let you join that easy?}

{143}{}{Yes.}

{144}{}{Uh, no!}

{145}{}{Oh, ok. You're in. You are now a Fool. Betray us and die. Yadda-yadda-yadda.}

{146}{}{You lie!}

{147}{}{Well, how does it feel to be a Fool?}

{148}{}{I like it.}

{149}{}{Great! What do I do now?}

{150}{}{How can I get some of that cool armor?}

{151}{}{You'd better. Not many can delve the humorous depths of full Fooldom.}

{152}{}{Uh, yes. Thanks. Uh, what next?}

{153}{}{Hmm, yes. Good question. Well, I suppose we should plan our attack on the Crypts. We have to gain control of that power generator, or all is lost.}

{154}{}{What do you want me to do?}

{155}{}{Well, since you are the newest member of the Fools, and therefore the most expendable, I want you to scout the enemy and report.}

{177}{}{Go gather some intelligence or something, and bring back news of the enemy. [She waves her hand in a dismissive gesture.]}

{156}{}{Ok.}

{157}{}{Well, should we attack?}

{158}{}{Yes!}

{159}{}{No!}

{160}{}{Then why do you bother me? Do your job and report back as soon as possible!}

{161}{}{Excellent! Fools! We go to battle!}

{162}{}{You are a Fool on double-secret probation. You don't get Fool armor until you pass probation.}

{163}{}{[done]}

{164}{}{[more]}

{165}{}{The Crypts shall be buried once more!}

{166}{}{Perish scum!}

{167}{}{Who said you could come out of your graves? Return!}

{168}{}{Uh, nothing.}

{169}{}{You lie! Go to your work before I open a can of whup-ass on you!}

{170}{}{I don't think I'm ready.}

{171}{}{Uh, yeah. Good bye.}

{172}{}{Only the Foolish remain! Now I, Queen Baka, rule the Scrapheap.}