Miao: The Movie/Transcript

The following is a transcript for the 2017 Redman animated film *Miao: The Movie*.

## Part 1: Opening

*(Shows Columbia Pictures logo)*

*(Shows Redman Films logo)*

**Columbia Pictures**

presents

in association with

**Redman Films**

(A white mist quickly fills up the black background. We zoom in towards Earth.)

**Female narrator:** (narrating) In the beginning of time, our world was ruled by…unique gods. Gods that were built different than our species.

(We zoom towards one of the continents, segueing into a green background. We then pan across human-like creatures with their own respective special powers.)

**Female narrator:** (narrating) Each of our gods had their own powers that they were born with. One of these rulers was the most powerful and had limitless powers that stood out from the others. Her name…

(We zoom towards the right until a purple-robed witch with her fedora covering her eyes appears.)

**Female narrator:** (narrating) …is Lady Charlene. She had the ability to cast any spell from the dark arts, making some of the gods feel skeptical of her powers. Despite this, everyone lived in peace…

(The camera falls downwards and we see Lady Charlene learning new spells and silently laughing, revealing her red eyes.)

**Female narrator:** (narrating) …until one day, Lady Charlene started to do mysterious and unusual things.

(We zoom into Lady Charlene’s red eyes and fade into a tree where two dog workers are seen hammering a Wanted poster onto its trunk.)

**Female narrator:** (narrating) Cats from around the world began to disappear, leaving the gods to feel extremely suspicious about these weird acts.

(After the gods take a peek at the poster behind a tree, we see them raiding into Lady Charlene’s room and they stare at her in shock.)

**Female narrator:** (narrating) They were quick to discover that Lady Charlene had planned the act all along. As they knew it was a clear violation of their morals, they exiled her from the group, leaving her as an outcast and all alone.

(Lady Charlene proceeds to assemble a group of black ninja warriors and they continue possessing other animals before the gods block her.)

**Female narrator:** (narrating) This left Lady Charlene filled with even more rage, and after building a strong army of ninja warriors, or as she perceived as “followers”, she retaliated against the gods by attempting to take over the rest of our population. The gods responded and began to reverse her actions. Her army was strong, but when the gods proved themselves to be stronger, she was no match for them.

(One of the gods uses his powers to defeat Lady Charlene, causing her unconscious body to turn into stone.)

**Female narrator:** (narrating) She was eventually defeated and her fate was sealed when her remains turned into stone, in the hopes that her consciousness would never return ever again. Her stone remains were left to rot, forgotten, but after eons of neglect, it is now preserved at Felineton’s city hall to this day.

(The stone remains of Lady Charlene fades into a modern-day appearance of the same statue, we then begin to zoom out of the city hall.)

## Part 2: Miao’s House

(After a while, we fade into a living room with beige walls and a carpeted gray floor. Miao, Rippy, Komo, Mus and Haw are seen lying on a blue silk couch watching TV. All of them appear to look bored. A news report suddenly flashes on the TV screen.)

**News Anchor:** (off-screen) We interrupt the program you’re now watching to bring you breaking news!

**News Anchor:** The original stone statue of what was one of the gods, Lady Charlene, has been reported missing at the Felineton City Hall this morning. Here is a speech made by the mayor of Felineton for more info.

(We cut to the entrance of the city hall where the mayor of Felineton, Jeff, is adjusting the microphone on the lectern before speaking.)

**Jeff:** I stand here today to bring all of you shocking news. At approximately 9:30am this morning, one of the city’s well-preserved landmarks, the Lady Charlene Statue, was found to be missing from its pedestal. Unfortunately, the Police Department has not identified the suspect and we are still looking into this matter.

(We cut back to the living room as audio from the TV begins to fade out.)

**Miao:** I’m *so* bored. It’s only been one week since the summer break has started and I have no idea what I should do!

**Rippy:** I could give you some suggestions. How about…picking up a new hobby?

**Miao:** Nah, that’s too lame. If only there was something enjoyable and realistic that we could do-

(There is a moment of silence before Miao discovers a flyer advertising Camp Felineton on the shelf underneath his TV.)

**Miao:** That’s it! We’re going to-

(Rippy is seen wearing a chef’s hat and wearing a skillet.)

**Rippy:** Learn a new recipe?

**Miao:** No! We can escape the confines of this house and finally go on a camping trip!

**Mus:** I’ve always wanted to go camping, but I usually get dehydrated easily.

**Rippy:** Why even camping in the first place?

**Miao:** Well, there’s this campsite that’s offering a promotion which rewards you more the longer you stay. Think about the college credits! Why should we waste our lives away by binge-watching hours of pointless sitcoms and movies when we could do something that can build our camaraderie? This is *the* activity of a lifetime!

(Everyone (except Miao) gives a round of slow applause as Miao bows to the audience.)

**Miao:** Alright, that will be the first thing in the afternoon!

## Part 3: The Campsite

(Cuts to an outside view of Miao’s rented house where we see a timelapse of the sky turning from night to day. Rippy, Komo and Mus are seen packing up for the trip.)

**Rippy:** (muttering) Stupid camp-out. Stupid friends. Stupid college credit.

**Mus:** Woah, chill. At least we get to step out of college life for once.

**Rippy:** Yeah, right. This better not be one of those boring camping or road trip movies.

(Rippy continues placing his camping essentials inside his backpack in a frustrated manner. We then see Komo closing his briefcase.)

**Komo:** Phew! That was fast-

(Miao suddenly bursts through the main door with a black car key.)

**Miao:** Hey guys! I just picked up the van so get all of your belongings and let’s get going!

**Rippy:** Miao! Watch it next time!

**Miao:** Oh sorry… but anyways, time doesn’t wait for us!

(Rippy grunts and leaves the house with his backpack, with Komo and Mus following him. Haw exits his bedroom with a camping bag and cooler box just in the nick of time.)

**Haw:** Oi! Wait for *me*!

(The scene cuts to the interior of the minivan where Miao and his friends are buckling their seatbelts. Miao turns behind to check the trunk, which is filled to the brim with their bags.)

**Miao:** Alright, everything in there?

**Rippy, Komo, Mus and Haw:** Yeah!

**Miao:** Okay, here we go!

(We then see a close-up of Miao stepping on the pedal, causing the minivan to start accelerating. Everyone in the van except for Miao is seen sliding towards the left then to the right.)

**Rippy:** (shouting) Miao! Slow down!

**Miao:** (shouting) Hang on! I’m trying to type in the address of the campsite!

**Miao:** Now, where is the address?

(Miao flips over the Camp Felineton flyer frantically until he see the text “Address: 1440 Montauk Highway, Felineton, NJ” printed in block letters. Miao then keys in the address on the car’s navigation screen as he reads it out)

**Miao:** Okay. 1440 Montauk Highway.

**GPS Narrator:** Starting navigation to 1440 Montauk Highway. Continue on for 2.7 miles.

(The van continues driving inside the suburbs of Felineton. A few minutes later, Miao is approaching an intersection with a freeway and brakes before the red light.)

**GPS Narrator:** In 440 feet, make a- In 440- In-

**Miao:** Dang it! Should have asked Avis to check the car’s dashboard.

(While the GPS Narrator continues to stutter, the route on the screen repeatedly switches between a U-turn and a right turn, until it finally shows the wrong route.)

**GPS Narrator:** Turn right onto the highway ramp.

(The traffic light turns green again.)

**Miao:** Yes, it works again!

(Miao steers the van onto the highway ramp and it speeds towards one of the lanes. A montage of Miao driving while Rippy, Komo, Mus and Haw are doing random activities starts. After about a minute of montage, the van is seen on a hilly rural road until Miao turns into the parking lot. The wooden sign reads “Welcome to Camp Felineton: **Longhorn Branch**”. Miao steps on the brakes once again and turns towards the back.)

**Miao:** And we’re here!

(Miao and Komo begin to unload the trunk of the van while the rest begin to unload their items from their bags. We then pan from the main parking lot towards a grassy field, where they finish setting up blue tents. Miao then removes dirt and dust off his hands and wipes off sweat from his forehead.)

**Miao:** Whew! All in a day’s work!

(Miao checks his digital watch, which displays the time “18:30”. He then looks back at the line of tents.)

**Miao:** Okay, we should probably start setting up the campfire for dinner. Rippy, do you have the steaks ready?

**Rippy:** Yea…

**Miao:** Komo, get the lighter ready. As for the rest of you, stay here while I go grab some wood for the fire. I’ll be back in a moment.

(Miao sets off for the forest, leaving his friends behind at the campsite. Miao scouts the parts of the forest and he finds a couple of sticks. While finding for another piece of firewood, he hears whispers in the distance.)

**Miao:** (whispering) What’s that noise?

(Miao walks quietly towards the direction of the noises. As he reaches nearer and nearer, the whispers become louder. Miao hides behind a tree to prevent getting noticed while secretly listening to the conversation behind.)

## Part 4: Lady Charlene’s Return/Fleeing The Campsite

(A dozen of ninja warriors known as the Dark Chasers are standing in a circle surrounding a purple cauldron. One of them is leading the summoning ritual while his assistant is lighting the cauldron with a fire striker.)

**Dark Chaser 1:** Today we all stand here to bring back our late master, whom our ancestors have looked upon…

(We pan towards a framed picture of Lady Charlene resting on a wooden table.)

**Dark Chaser 1:** …Lady Charlene. Repeat after me.

(The Dark Chaser orders his assistant to drop the pieces of stone remains into the cauldron. He then begins stirring the cauldron.)

**Dark Chaser 1:** Remains of the master, willingly given.

**All Dark Chasers (except Dark Chaser 1):** Remains of the master, willingly given!

(The Dark Chaser’s assistant proceeds to make a cut on one of the Dark Chasers to collect a blood sample before throwing it into the cauldron.)

**Dark Chaser 1:** Blood of the servants, unwillingly taken.

**All Dark Chasers (except Dark Chaser 1):** Blood of the servants, unwillingly taken!

(To Miao’s horror, the assistant Dark Chaser brings in a handful of cat fur and tosses it into the cauldron, which is now even more purple.)

**Dark Chaser 1:** Fur of the enemy, forcibly plucked.

**All Dark Chasers (except Dark Chaser 1):** Fur of the enemy, forcibly plucked!

**Dark Chaser 1:** Lady Charlene shall rise again!

**Dark Chaser 3:** Lady——

(All the Dark Chasers exchange looks with Dark Chaser 3. Another Dark Chaser slaps him in the face.)

**Dark Chaser 4:** Shut up!

**Dark Chaser 3:** Oh, sorry…

(The purple liquid in the cauldron brightens up with intensity, causing Lady Charlene to rise from the cauldron. When she fully rises from the liquid, the cauldron stops glowing and the lead Dark Chaser reaches his arm towards her. Lady Charlene eventually lands on the grass and stands in front of the Dark Chasers.)

**Lady Charlene:** Greetings, my fellow Dark Chasers. It has been three millennia since I was gone, turned into stone by the other gods who betrayed me. But I stand by all of you today to tell you that this will never happen again. Tomorrow, we will start with Felineton, the nearest city populated solely by cats. We will rise, victorious, to finally take advantage of the feline population and the world, forever!

(Lady Charlene and the Dark Chasers laugh maniacally. Miao tries to bend closer to their conservation, but he accidentally steps on a branch which makes a “crack” sound. They exchange looks with Miao, who is now shocked and surprised.)

**Miao:** Oh, sh——

**Lady Charlene:** There’s the cat! Seize him!

**Miao:** This is not good!

(Miao runs back to the campsite as soon as possible while the Dark Chasers take out their knives and nunchucks. Miao dodges the nunchucks before he arrives at the campsite, all sweaty and exhausted.)

**Miao:** Guys! We need to get out of this place ASAP!

**Rippy:** Finally, we don’t have to *camp-out* anymore!

**Miao:** There’s no time to explain, so just leave everything here and run!

**Mus:** But I’m still enjoying my new electric fan!

**Miao:** Just go!

(Miao and his friends all run as fast as they can away from the campsite while the Dark Chasers continue chasing them. They then open the doors of the van and quickly buckle their seats.)

**Miao:** Alright, there’s no time to lose!

**Rippy:** Uhh, Miao! Wait——!

(Miao steps on the gas almost immediately and the van speeds up uncontrollably towards the exit, damaging the Camp Felineton sign in the process.)

## Part 5: Confrontation with the Dark Chasers

**Miao:** Phew! Finally got rid of them! Wait a minute…

(Miao checks the back of the van, only to realise that Mus is missing.)

**Miao:** Where’s Mus?

**Rippy:** That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! We lost Mus on the way to the car!

**Miao:** Damn it!

(A Dark Chaser unexpectedly appears from behind, forcibly opening the trunk of the minivan. They crawl their way to the passenger seats.)

**Miao:** Oh no, here they come again! Quick, get whatever tools you have and——

(Miao gets strangled by the Dark Chaser, who threatens him with his knife.)

**Dark Chaser 5:** Let this be a lesson for you. You do not mess with the Dark——

(Rippy punches the Dark Chaser with one of the camping bags. Miao then proceeds to attack the Dark Chaser with a briefcase and they eventually end up in a fight.)

**Komo:** Miao! The van!

(Miao quickly uses his legs to turn the steering wheel and goes back to fighting with the Dark Chaser. He then conveniently takes out one of the firewood he put in his pocket earlier and slam it on the Dark Chaser repeatedly, leaving him bruised.)

**Miao:** Ha! Take that you little——

(The Dark Chaser strangles Miao from out of nowhere and once again raises his knife.)

**Dark Chaser 5:** I am not going to repeat this one more time! Submit yourself to Lady Charlene or prepare to die.

(Miao turns around and sees a sharp right turn ahead. The music then crescendos.)

**Miao:** Rippy! Grab onto the steering wheel quick!

**Rippy:** The heck?

(Rippy moves to the front of the van and makes a sharp turn. Miao somehow snatches the Dark Chaser’s knife and stabs him while opening the trunk door, causing him to lose balance and fall towards the cliff.)

**Miao:** That was quite brutal…

(The van continues driving along the rural road with its trunk still open.)

*More coming soon!*