Harassin' Assassin

Freely McWheely tries to get rid of any evidence of his secret shame, but apparently the information has already been "leaked" to the "press". The Space Press.

## Transcript

**Previously on Space Tree the Space Tree**

**ALLON:** Previ-ously on... internet cartoon web site...

*(Cut to art styles of episode 1)*

**COMMANDER:** Come in, Space Tree! Freely McWheely's gonna come and kill us or something!

**SPACE TREE:** Not if I kill him first!

**COMMANDER:** Gee whiz!

**Currently on Space Tree the Space Tree**

*(cut to the Slave Room)*

**SPACE TREE:** ... And that's my plan for getting revenge on Space President Freely McWheely! Now here's the checklist of items \we'll need to execute this plan. *(Holds up 'check it out list': tubing, gloves, caps, sugar, ?ola, "mitts")*

*(pan over rubber tubes, gloves (WEIRD HANDS is written), handcuffs, trumpet, Caps Lock key, spoonful of sugar, DVD player, the stape gun, and Space Tree's branches)*

**SPACE TREE:** Rubber tubing, gloves, cuffs, trumpet, caps lock, spoonful of sugar, DVD player, Gladys, and my mitts.

**COMMANDER:** *(Confused, now holding trumpet)* Did you just say mitts?

**SPACE TREE:** Now the hard part of this plan is getting Freely McWheely to come to this room!

*(Allon jumps through entrance)*

**ALLON:** Watch out, guys! Freely McWheely is coming to this room!

**SPACE TREE:** SHUT UP, ALLON!

*(cut to Freely McWheely, walking down a corridor, holding a knife, music plays)*

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** I'm-a gonna kill those three guys, and nothing can stop me now!

*(Tarbob shows up in front of him)*

**TARBOB:** Hi there, Mr. Space President! I'm some guy from Channel K News, and we have recently received an anonymous tip that you are actually some kind of disgusting hybrid of tree and crocodile-lookin' thing! What do you have to say about these creamy allegations?

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** I'll field this one, Bob. *(He speaks into the knife as though it were a mic.)* Clearly, the whole thing is just a load of crazy talk! I mean, why would you even think that I, Freely McWheely, were a tree? *(as he says this, Freely McWheely stabs the knife in his own chest)*

**TARBOB:** Well, there *is* that bird nesting in your hair.

*(cut to that one bird dancing to music in Freely McWheely's toupee)*

*(HERE COMES THE NEXT SCENE! is shown, then cut back to the slave room)*

**ALLON:** When I was Space Vice President, I got to read all the plans for this place. And according to my calculations, there should be an escape hatch right about... here.

*(he steps on a button on the floor, a spike shoots out of it, narrowly missing Allon, and the hidden hatch opens)*

**SPACE TREE:** Wow, who would've thought that the Space President was part-tree all along?

**COMMANDER:** I'll tell you who would've thought that! The Commander would! *(Dramatically holds up a sign reading "Commander Wood?")*

**SPACE TREE:** What?

**COMMANDER:** I knew it the whole time. So don't be too hard on yourself, you know, I guess some of us are more perceptive than others... I mean, the fact that I have eyes might have helped a little. (extends finger into eye.)

**ALLON:** Yeah, you're *real* perceptive. It took you, like, 3 months before you noticed that I was green!

**COMMANDER:** Shut up, Allon!

*(he knocks Allon into the escape hatch, which closes)*

*(cut back to the Space Prez and Tarbob. FW now has a trunk for legs.)*

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** Look, I'm not a tree, all right? Just because some fat little green kid said so doesn't make it true-

**TARBOB:** We weren't tipped off by some fat green kid, Mr. McWheely. I'd definitely remember something like that.

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** Well, then who told you?

**OFFSCREEN VOICE:** *I* did!

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** *(gasps)* You! *(an arrow shoots in the direction Freely McWheely points in)*

**WAYNE:** That's right.

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** I always knew you were trying to kill me, *(saddened, holds up a picture of them (with Wayne wearing the BF4L shirt)* but I never thought that you'd *betray* me!

**WAYNE:** Well, I guess you thought incorrectly.

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** So why'd you do it, traitor?

**WAYNE:** Why, you ask? I'll tell you "why". *(WHY shoots out of his chest)* Because you have been neglecting me ever since you made that Allon kid your Space Vice President! *(holds up doodle of Allon)*

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** But that was only like... 2 hours ago!

**WAYNE:** Well, still, you knew I wanted that position.

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** Well, the only position you'll be getting now is "Space Vice Moron" because I am *not* a tree, and there is no evidence to the contrary! *(Flicks off Wayne)*

**WAYNE:** Oh, really? Well, then, Mr. McWheely, I challenge you to a duel!

*(he takes off a glove and slaps the Space Prez in the face with it)*

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** OK, then, Wayne. I accept your challenge.

*(he pulls off his fake hand, revealing a branch)*

**TARBOB:** *(whispering)* Your branch is showing...

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** Oh-ho... *(to Wayne)* Well played, you sexy beast...

*(Wayne looks super-happy)*

*(cut to the Space Trio escaping through the tunnel, Allon leading the way)*

**ALLON:** Escaping is pretty cool, huh?

*(pan to the Commander, bent in the duct)*

**COMMANDER:** Yeah, maybe for *you* it is, but I'm kinda cramped in this tunnel.

*(pan again to see Space Tree literally crammed into the tunnel)*

**SPACE TREE:** Shut up, Commander.

**COMMANDER:** Uh, I think you mean, "shut up, Allon"?

*(cut back to Space Prezzy McGee and Tarbob)*

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** Hey, man, this branch means nothing, all right? I'm just-I'm just a pirate, and this is my replacement for my hook hand. *(pirate stuff (and the bird) fly onto him)*

**TARBOB:** It's OK, Freely McWheely. We're very open-minded here at Channel K News. If you were to reveal your true part-tree identity, nobody here would think any less of you for it. And it would also be a huge ratings boost for me. Channel K News. The... channel. That I work for. *(the Channel K News symbol appears on screen, Tarbob now has SUP written on his face)*

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** *(sighs)* Well, I knew this day would come. Are your cameras rolling now?

**TARBOB:** Oh, right, I forgot to bring a camera...

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** Well, wait right here. When I come return from my office, you're gonna see a *new* Freely McWheely. Or should I say... "Freely McTreely"?

**TARBOB:** No, you shouldn't. That's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** Oh, OK. Take two.

*(Hollywood style clapboard comes in. LOCATION: SPACE? TAKE 2, SCENE 60. SOUND BAD, DATE 2005, DIRECTOR E. ATLIN, SANDWICH TUNA, LETTUCE, CHEESE)*

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** You're gonna see a *new* Freely McWheely!

**TARBOB:** I'm getting a boner just thinking about it!

*(Freely McWheely enters his office and the door closes)*

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** Well, I hope they're not offended by me in my disgusting tree form. And if it doesn't go well, I suppose I could always kill them all, leaving NO witnesses. Yeah... kill them all... that sounds like a pretty good i-

*(The spike from the escape hatch shoots out from the wall, going straight through the Space Prez's head; Allon exits)*

**ALLON:** The coast is clear!

**COMMANDER:** Whoa, you actually saved us, Allon!

**ALLON:** Well it's like my imaginary friend always said. Saving lives is what I do best!

*(10 seconds later...)*

**ALLON:** Yep, I am a total hero! *(Space Tree has somehow gotten out)*

*(10 more seconds later...)*

*(Allon is standing next to the dead body of Freely McWheely, still hanging from the spike)*

**ALLON:** Ah man, I assassinated the president of space. ... Sorry about that Mr. Mcwheely. You've always been like a crazy uncle to me. *(A bug crawls over his dead face)*

**COMMANDER:** Well I don't think he felt the same way about you, see! *(Commander grabs a folder off of FW's desk, holds it up: DIE PLAN TO KILL ALLON! BY F. McW.)*

**ALLON:** Uh, he must have been referring to a *different* Allon.

**COMMANDER:** Then what about this? *(He now holds up a small tape recorder, pushes a button)*

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** *(tape recording)* Oh, boy, I can't wait to kill Allon. And I'm talkin' about Allon Amanolla! That little fat green kid with red hair who always wears that stupid purple hat! *(Allon looks at his stupid purple hat)* That's the Allon that I, Freely McWheely, am planning to kill. So please leave a message after the beep. *(end recording)*

**ALLON:** Well, fine. Maybe he wasn't so cool. But it still looks like we killed him, so what the heck are we gonna do?

**SPACE TREE:** Uh, correction. It looks like *YOU* killed him. But, I guess we should just go back to the slave room and act like we weren't involved.

**COMMANDER:** Yeah, you two losers can do that. I'm gonna watch some TV.

*(the TV comes down from the ceiling, & the Commander pushes a button on a remote)*

**TARBOB:** *(on TV)* We're here live outside the Space President's office where Freely McWheely himself is about to come out and reveal that he is in fact, part-tree. Stay tuned, idiots.

**SPACE TREE:** Hmm, that TV show gives me an idea. I think I know how to get us out of this, and by us, I mean Space Tree!

*(the TV remote hits Space Tree in the face... tree)*

**COMMANDER:** *(offscreen)* Quiet! I'm trying to watch this!

*(cut to outside the Space President's office)*

**TARBOB:** Here he comes, for the first time ever, the President of Space in his true form, live on Channel K New-eeeouw-ews!

*(the doors to the office slide open, and Space Tree, now with a "FMc" sign taped over his "ST" mark, comes out)*

**SPACE TREE:** The space president is over here!

**TARBOB:** Way to go, Mr. Space President. That took some courage! Is there anything you'd like to say to the people of Space?

**SPACE TREE:** Wha-uh, well, I'd just like to say that I'm Freely McWheely, and, uh, I'm a tree, and, uh, *(looks at the camera)* I'm the president of space! YEAH!

**ALLON:** And *I'm* the Space Vice President!

**TARBOB:** Well, tell us more about that!

**ALLON:** Really?

**TARBOB:** No!

*(roll end credits)*

*(TO BE CONTINUED ONE MORE TIME! is what it says)*

## Easter Eggs

* At the end screen, on the left side, Freely McWheely's hand appears. Click it, and you'll see an alternate Space Prez-Wayne scene, brought to you by Channel K News.

### **Easter Egg Transcript**

**FREELY MCWHEELY:** Well, the only position that you'll be getting now is "Space Vice F\*\*\* Mother\*\*\*\*ing, \*\*\*k-s\*\*\*er, B\*\*\*-licking, f\*\*\*ing, s\*\*\*ing mother\*\*\*\*er", because I am NOT a tr\*\*!

* On the right side of the end screen a Channel K News symbol will appear. Click it to see an extended ending sequence (but with no lip-synching. at all).

### **Easter Egg Transcript**

**TARBOB:** Well tell us more about that.

**ALLON:** Really?

**TARBOB:** Yes, please.

**ALLON:** Y- You want me too keep talking?

**TARBOB:** That's right.

**ALLON:** Y- you want me to actually tell you about what I was going to say?

**TARBOB:** Yes.

**ALLON:** Um, Well I, I wasn't prepared but uh, well in that case I-

**TARBOB:** Shut up, Allon.

## Fun Facts

* The list Space Tree shows the commander includes the following items (the last two are partially covered):
	+ ☐ Tubing
	+ ☐ Gloves
	+ ☐ Caps
	+ ☐ Sugar
	+ ☐ Pistola
	+ ☑ "Mitts"
		- The only item on Space Tree's list that's ticked is "mitts", and we see him wearing a "mitt" a moment later. The Commander's holding a trumpet but it's not on the list for some reason.

* The DVD in the DVD Player at the beginning is "The Clerman Clones, Season 1". The episodes are as follows:
	+ 1. The Clonemobile
	+ 2. I Cloned Your Mother
	+ 3. Clonecheese
	+ 4. Dude, Where's My Clone?
	+ 5. Classic Clerman Clones (CCC)
	+ 6. Who Shot Professor Clerman?
	+ 7. He Probably Shot Himself
	+ 8. The Clone Orgy
	+ 9. Spaceclones
		- Classic Clerman Clones (CCC) Is a reference to Clone Commentary
* When Tarbob tells Freely McWheely about the allegations, he flashes into his tree form for a split second.
* When Space Tree poses as Freely McWheely, a "Medal of Courage" flashes on him for a split second. This is from another cartoon by Ed Atlin- "Crime Patrol- Unit B: Episode 2".
* When Allon, The Commander and Space Tree get out of the "secret door", to the left of the screen you can see **He climbed out too, okay** written on Space Tree.
* When you see the bird on the top of Freely McWheely head, under the frame you can see a funny face drawn on him.
* When the Commander says "some of us are just more perceptive than others." and points his arm out you can see '(you)' written on it, you perceptive son of a bitch.
* When Space Tree has the FMc sign on him, you can click on it because it has the hand cursor, but it doesn't do anything.
* The photograph Freely McWheely holds up shows Wayne wearing a BF4L shirt.
* When we first see Tarbob, after he blinks his eye is red.
* The clapper board that appears when Freely McWheely says "take two" reads "Location: Space, Take: 2, Scene: 60, Sound: Bad, Date: 2005, Director: E. Atlin, Sandwich: Tuna, lettuce, cheese".
* The music that plays in the scene where the bird nests on the president is the same music that played at the credits of Serious Kidnapping, the first episode the bird was in.

## References

* The sequence where Space Tree lists off the items he needs for the plan is a reference to Marv doing the same in Sin City.
* Slapping someone with a glove is a way to demand satisfaction from that person, i.e. proposing a duel.