Anthracite

*note - this page contains/will eventually contain direct mentions of things such as tra/ma and ab/se, as this is my personal sona. please proceed with caution.*

## Appearances

### Original Works

*The Hellions Eventide: The Tumult*

**Anthracite** is a young genderfluid half-demon living in the world of Abyss, and is the main protagonist of *The Hellion's Eventide*. Xe's Ivy's main sona.

## Personality

*note - this is a major wip.*

In short terms, Anthracite often comes off as rude, standoffish, selfish, and cold - or at least, that's what xe's guessed from what other people think of xem. It isn't entirely wrong, in a sense. Anthracite is entirely willing to be rude to those xe dislikes or even hates on purpose, though will often refrain xemself from doing so due to other circumstances; as such, sometimes it will come out as thinly veiled, barbed remarks or passive-aggressiveness. Xe also is rather standoffish at times, preferring to be on xyr lonesome than having to deal with others - xe finds it difficult to want to be around other people, especially humans due to how xe's been treated before. Anthracite isn't particularly sure where the selfishness came from - all xe really knows about it was how xyr parents would constantly call xem that, among other variants (was xe really? Xe didn't know for sure). However, the coldness is something Anthracite is aware of and doesn't care too much to change at times - this is especially true when Anthracite feels wronged by others, or feels threatened by something others may do or believe, for example. It's mainly used as a wall to protect xemself from getting hurt, though xe has trouble keeping it up due to often feeling awful about it, and feeling guilty for it. In addition to the coldness, Anthracite also uses xyr sharp comments and occasionally purposeful rudeness to further push that border.

Anthracite tries to avoid showing it often, but xe often feels insecure, lonely, and miserable. Often insecure due to conflicts that have happened to xem in the past - being accused of something awful and being unsure if xe truly is that, even when xe tries to be genuine, is just a liar and manipulator. Often lonely due to feeling like no one will actually understand xem or care for xem, no matter how hard xe tries, and as well as often feeling like xe'll never truly belong anywhere. Xyr feelings of being miserable are often from past trauma, always feeling inadequate and like xe can never reach anyone's expectations, or that no matter how hard xe tries to 'change' xemself for others, xe'll never be good enough. Anthracite often doesn't show this side of xemself for various reasons - one being feeling guilty for sharing how xe feels (all xe could think of when xe did share was being screamed at how xe's a manipulator and liar), and another being that there would be no point in doing so, as nothing good will come of it, if anything at all. It doesn't help that this is how xe often feels on a daily basis, often putting xemself down in the process.

Outside of that, xe is capable of being caring towards others (specifically those xe doesn't mind or likes to be around), and can be kind towards them as well. It's hard to get xem to break out of xyr shell and trust someone, but once xe does trust them, xe will often stick by them, and often look forwards to being around them. Anthracite is incredibly loyal to those xe trusts, and highly values any relationships xe has that xe considers important to xem (then again, that's most relationships if not all). However, if said trust is broken or xe feels betrayed in some way, don't expect to easily gain it back if at all - Anthracite would more than likely spit on the relationship xe had and will forever be wary and uncomfortable around them, though won't be outright aggressive towards them. Anthracite generally tends to hold in xyr anger about it, and usually refuses to lash out or confront the individual until xe knows xe can do it in a safe area - Anthracite frankly doesn't see the point in certain cases, and would rather give them the cold shoulder or remain being passive-aggressive towards them. It doesn't help when it's someone that Anthracite has already found that xe dislikes the person in question - with some people, xe strongly believes that they should actually have been punished in some way, even though xe knows that they never will.

## Trivia

* Xe's autistic, has high-functioning depression, and anxiety.
* Xe's a non-sam aro, as well as polyamorous.