Two Point Hospital

Two Point Radio is the station that plays in your hospital during gameplay.

#### **Harrison Wolfe** - Your night time, tired radio host.

* *'I don't know what my time travelling future self is up to, but my arm just disappeared.'*
* *'I went to the Cirque du Parfait recently. I was impressed by how experimental the acts were, 'til I realised I was facing the wrong way and just looking at the tent wall.'*

**Sir Nigel Bickleworth**

### Music

* **Night Ward** - Not My Cousin
* **Samba de Medicana** - Flemington La
* **Come On Over** - What? Where?
* **Bassinets** - Jorge & The Deuce
* **Water Wednesdays** - Chicken Butter
* **Miami Swing** - Cuticle Karate
* **On Call** - Lindy-Sue and The Staircase Gang
* **Sundries** - J-U-L-I-A
* **Midnight Blue** - Project Vineyard
* **Remedy Hill** - Two with Mustard
* **Recover & Regain** - Puffin Pot
* **The Gamble Man** - Blueberry Longhorn
* **The Waiting Room** - Speaking Faces
* **Wet Laundry** - Egg and Terracotta Soldiers
* **Gomer** - Book Smell
* **The Last Dose** - Postal Consomething?? CITATION NEEDED

### Adverts

* Briney Brittle is a yummy salty snack that makes you really thirsty! The taste of the sea right in your mouth!
* The Four Freddies, Barbershop Quartet

## Tannoy

Informs you of where staff are needed etc.

### Announcement Quotes

* 'Persons found taking up bench space with unorthodox sitting methods, will be asked to leave or stand.'
* 'In the event of a fire, please leave the building.'
* 'Patients are reminded not to be sick.'
* 'To the owner of the blueish car. Your car is being taken for crushing. That's a blueish car for crushing. Thank you.'
* 'Please be aware. Not being aware, costs lives.'
* 'Announcement! Pretending your doctor is better than they are, may aid recovery.'
* 'We hope you've enjoyed your stay, but not so much that you don't leave...please, eventually leave.'
* 'If anyone has seen my pen. Please, return my pen. Thank you.'
* 'Patients asking about our safety measures are kindly asked, not to.'
* 'Staff reminded not to laugh at patients, whilst they are present. Thank you.'
* 'Staff facilities are out of bounds for *all* patients and *some* staff. Thank you.'
* 'Attention! Will *all* visitors please talk silently.'
* 'Please be vigilant.'
* 'Unattended patients may be removed and destroyed.'
* 'Attention! Please lower your expectations.'
* 'Staff are reminded to get back to work.'
* 'Don't interact with other patients, you don't know where they've been.'
* 'May we request that all our patients *kindly* get out.'
* 'Doctor-Patient confidentiality is not practised in this hospital.'
* 'Lost and found report: ham sandwich, partially eaten.'
* 'We are sorry for the litter *you* dropped *on* our floor.'
* 'To all patients with no money, you are now discharged.'
* 'Patients are reminded that this is a workplace, *not* a theme park.'
* 'Don't forget, tip your doctor.'
* 'Players are reminded to stay hydrated.'
* 'Those unable to find the hospital will not be considered patients.'
* 'Please respect the hospital grounds, no unauthorised digging.'
* 'Announcement! Try not to die.'
* 'Please look out for invisible and potentially lethal diseases.'
* 'Register your body for compost a patient today, help the grass be greener from the other side.'
* 'Cured Patients should leave the hospital before they catch something else.'
* 'In the event of an epidemic *please* try not to panic.'
* 'Some patients should be ashamed of their condition, you know who you are.'
* 'Announcement! It's happening again.'
* 'No Sleeping in the corridors.'
* 'If you see anything suspicious, please investigate further.'
* 'Have a snack, we'll be right back.'
* 'Unattended bags will be taken home by staff.'
* 'No money, no treatment.'
* 'Any suspicious objects should be poked with a special stick.'
* 'Patients are reminded not to believe in ghosts.'
* 'In case of staff shortage *please* contact a member of staff.'
* 'In the event of an earthquake please stay still.'
* 'Patients are reminded to avoid death when possible.'
* 'Patients are reminded not to think about it.'
* 'Could patients *please* stop coughing.'

### Patient Announcement Quotes

* 'Patient announcement! Please don't ask how our machines work, as, we are not exactly sure.'

### Warning Quotes

* 'Warning! Those abusing hospital facilities are henceforth to be considered organ donors.'

### Maintenance Announcement Quotes

* 'Maintenance Announcement! Any medical waste should be disposed of immediately.'
* 'Maintenance Announcement! Automated snack machines need restocking, manually.'
* 'Maintenance Announcement! Plants need water.'
* 'Maintenance Announcement! It's better for all of us if toilets are serviced regularly.'