Space Age Bachelor Man (2018)

**2018** productions of *Ride the Cyclone* changed the lyrics to **"Space Age Bachelor Man"**, before switching them back to the original in 2019.

## Lyrics

**Ricky:**

You might see before you

An ordinary man

Ha!

An earthly illusion

All a part of the cosmic plan

Oh yes, there’s more to me

Than this Earthly frame

Much more than meets the eye

I have galactic obligations like

Distress calls coming from the sky

**[*spoken*]**

It’s true! Listen!

**Mischa/Noel:**

Ricky, we’re from the feline planet

**Ocean/Jane:**

Cattaris!

**Mischa/Noel:**

And we need you

We fate for war with Earth

**Ocean/Jane:**

Help us, Ricky!

**Mischa/Noel:**

For only the space age bachelor man

Can stop our queen destroying planet Earth

**Ricky [*spoken*]:**

My God

**Mischa/Noel:**

With the completion of her laser

The Earth doesn’t stand a chance

And the only thing that might save the day

**Choir:**

Is your legendary mega super dance

**Ricky [*spoken*]:**

Ah! Mega super dance, of course!

**Noel [*spoken*]:**

Will you help us, Space Age Bachelor Man?

You must try to stop her, the Earth is not safe!

**Ricky:**

I will help you

**Noel:**

Then there is no time to waste!

Quickly, or else thou shall demolish it at once

**Jane:**

Presenting Queen Nefrititi Bastet III, Queen of all Cattaris

**Ricky:**

Wow, she’s friggin’ hot

**Ocean/Jane:**

Meow

Beware, Ricky

**Mischa:**

Though beautiful, her heart is cruel

**Ricky:**

Nobody's perfect!

**Ocean/Jane:**

Meow

Take care, Ricky

**Jane:**

Don’t let your manhood play you for a fool

**Ricky:**

Some very good points

Unfortunately, my Achilles heel has always been my penis!

And I’m a swinging

**Choir:**

Ah

**Ricky:**

Space age

**Choir:**

Ah, ah

**Ricky:**

Bachelor man!

**Constance:**

Let’s go get funky!

**Ricky:**

Meow

**Constance:**

Meow

**Ricky:**

Meow

**Constance:**

Meow

**Ricky:**

Meow

**Constance:**

Meow

**Ricky:**

Meow

**Constance:**

Meow

**Ricky:**

Meow

**Constance:**

Meow

**Ricky:**

Meow

**Constance:**

Meow

**Ricky:**

Meow

**Constance:**

Ow!

**Ricky/Constance:**

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow!

**Ricky:**

It gets weird now

Queenie, you’re really quite the lover

Beyond my fantasies

Beyond my wildest dreams

**Constance:**

Yes, and now I’ll slit your throat with my cat claw!

And blow your bloody planet to smithereens

The time is right for vengeance

And those fools, those apes from planet Earth

For they too long have mocked our kind

How dare they disregard our worth?

We must destroy them!

**Ricky:**

What?

Why do you hate them so?

**Constance:**

Why do I hate them so?

Surely you know the answer to that, Richard

Look at these cruel images!

Once we were kings and queens of the Nile, rulers of this wretched planet!

Now we are their playthings

And you know their cruelty well, don’t you, Richard?

**Ricky:**

Oh, uh- they have much to learn about empathy!

**Constance:**

But it’s too late for lessons!

Put him in the cone of shame!

And prepare the death laser for detonation!

**Jane:**

Death laser commences in two minutes, thirty seconds

**Ricky:**

No!

**Constance:**

Your protests are futile, Richard!

No one can mega super dance in the cone of shame!

**Ricky:**

Let’s dance, kitty!

**Constance:**

Ooh, nice moves!

But are you adept at dancing in the dark?

**Jane:**

Death laser deactivated

**Constance:**

No! I am slain by their prank-tastic dancing abilities!

**Ricky:**

Oh yes, I saved the day

Space kitties, you don’t stand a chance

I protected an entire galaxy

With my incredible mega super dance

I have the need I make love

Now the whole universe understands

That I’m a swinging!

**Choir:**

Ah

**Ricky:**

Space age!

**Choir:**

Ah, ah

**Ricky:**

B-b-b-b-b-bachelor man!

**Choir:**

Bachelor man!

Meow!