Mad Monster Party? Review

**Raven Fox:** \*voiceover\* This review was made possible by contributions from viewers like you.

*After the "Bobsheauxween" intro, we see Raven Fox's online persona, an anthropomorphic raven, dressed up as Lydia Deetz from the "Beetlejuice" animated series.*

**Raven Fox:** Though I know I should be wary, still I venture someplace scary. Ghostly haunting, I turn loose. Betlegeuse, Betelgeuse, **Betelgeuse!**

*And speak of the devil, Bob appears, dressed as the aforementioned character and laughing maniacally.*

**BeetleBob:** Hey there, kids. It's the world's leading bio-exorcist, the ghost with the most himself, Beetle- \*holds the last syllable\* Let's take a look at our last installment of Bobsheauxween, Mad Monster Party. It's Bobsheaux time.

*A flash of lightning occurs, followed by a brief clip of the 1964 stop-motion TV special, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and a theatrical poster for the film we're about to see.*

**BeetleBob:** \*voiceover\* You know those dumb little puppet shows your mom makes you watch every Christmas? The same people who made those things got together and made a Halloween movie, starring the greatest monsters in history. It used to be a big deal when maybe two or three famous monsters shared the screen, but all of them? Ho-ho, my god! This is gonna be the scariest movie ever! We open on some tracking shots slinking their way through a dense jungle island, which for the time are actually pretty impressive.

*Cut to a clip from Tim Burton/Henry Selick's "The Nightmare Before Christmas".*

**BeetleBob:** \*voiceover\* You wouldn't see camera movements like this again until *The Nightmare Before Christmas* came along.

**BeetleBob:** It's just kind of sad that the best animation that we're gonna see in this movie is specked on the camera. \*voiceover\* And honestly, the set designs in this movie are pretty cool. Quite a step up from Santa Claus's castle from *Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer*, am I right? We meet Baron von Frankenstein, voiced by and designed to look like Boris Karloff, conducting his latest experiment.

*Baron von Frankenstein takes his vial of glowing, blue liquid and dips a sewing pin into the concoction, which he then pricks a raven with before sending it out his castle window. The raven then promptly explodes after perching on a tree branch.*

**BeetleBob:** So he's created a more effective way of exploding ravens. I'm sure that'll come in handy for later.

**Raven Fox:** \*raises an eyebrow\* Meaning *what?*

**BeetleBob:** Oh, nothing. \*chuckles to himself\*

**Baron von Frankenstein:** Quoth the raven... nevermore.

**Raven Fox:** \*outraged\* F\*\*k you!

**BeetleBob:** \*voiceover\* Because blowing up ravens is such a scientific milestone, he sends out a bunch of invitations via carrier bats to monsters all over the world, so they can have a... mad monster... party? I never thought a movie title could be confused, but there we go. You'll also notice that while the credits go by, the movie throws random comic book sound effects at us.

*The opening credits continue playing as more comic books sound effects are used.*

**BeetleBob:** Because if the old Batman show can throw sound effects into its fight scenes, why shouldn't this movie throw sound effects into its titles? Wait, what? \*voiceover\* We then meet this guy named Felix Flanken. I think he's supposed to be the hero, but he's a total pussy, so I'm sure we'll meet the real hero of the film anytime now.

**Mr. Kronkite:** \*off-screen\* Flanken!

*Felix accidentally tumbles forward and knocks over the bottles of mint green and brown pills.*

**Mr. Kronkite:** Felix...

**Felix Flanken:** Take it out of my pay, Mr. Kronkite.

**Mr. Kronkite:** Pay? What pay? You have two more months to work for me for nothing before you're even as it is. There are people waiting at the lunch counter, someone is browsing through the paperback books, we got a whole rack full of those veeblefetzers to unload, and you're wasting your time in the pharmacy department. What am I not paying for, Felix?

**Felix:** I'm sorry, Mr. Kronkite. What would you like me to do first?

**BeetleBob:** He's asking him *that* question while on his knees, in front of this guy.

*"Must be a Bobsheaux!" is displayed below. But instead of the usual "Ta-da!" sound effect, a couple of honks are used in its place.*

**Dana Carvey:** \*his voice dubbed over Felix\* Well, that's definitely a pleasurable sensation!

**BeetleBob:** \*voiceover\* By the way, this magazine rack has Playboys just sitting out, waiting for anyone to come by and browse through them. Why don't they do that anymore? Felix gets his own invitation to the party- sent through the mail, if you can believe it- pointing out how he'll be the witness to a scientific first. Maybe it's a serum they can jab into this guy to make him the slightest bit more likeable. We jump back to Frankenstein's castle, where we see the big guy himself getting an eyeful of this red-headed breast delivery system.

**BeetleBob:** Boobs good. \*chuckles\* But the monster's mate, A.K.A. the Bride of Frankenstein, ain't too keen on the monster committing the horrible crime of having eyes.

**The Monster's Mate:** Do you forget the *last* time you had a roaming eye? I kept it in a jar for a week! \*does her trademark laugh\*

(Note: The Monster's Mate is portrayed by the late Phyllis Diller.)

**Frankenstein's Monster:** \*mumbles incoherently\*

**The Monster's Mate:** Don't give me any of your back-mumble, you... you... you monster!

*She leaps into the air as the first musical number begins.*

**The Monster's Mate:** \*singing\* You're different,

I knew it wouldn't be the same

that you play a different game,

'cause you're different

\*laughs\* You're different...

**BeetleBob:** Remember when songs used to have a point to them? Those were some good 'ole days. \*voiceover\* And I get that they want to show off her special celebrity voice here by making the character look like Phyllis Diller, but these other monsters look pretty close to their iconic counterparts.

*Cut to a side-by-side comparison of the Rankin/Bass and Universal versions of Dracula and Frankenstein's Monster.*

**BeetleBob:** Why didn't they do her up to look more like the Bride of Frankenstein?

*Cut to a clip of Homer Simpson watching TV on the couch.*

**BeetleBob:** \*voiceover, as Homer Simpson\* Phyllis Diller as a puppet is just wrong. \*normal voice\* After she's done appreciating how different he is, we jump back to the doctor as he explains to his gravity-defying assistant, Fran*chest*ca- I mean Francesca, \*chuckles\* that he's going to retire and hand down everything he has to Felix, his only living relative.

**Baron von Frankenstein:** I've grown a little tired of this horror business.

**BeetleBob:** Come on, you're the only guy in Hollywood to actually thrivefrom being typecast into horror films! I would kill for that kind of fame! \*beat\* Bit funny, kill for that kind of fame...

**Baron Von Frankenstein:** I shall turn over all my secrets to Felix, including my last great one, and then present him to the convention as my successor.

*Suddenly, the cuckoo clock with a disembodied head at the end starts shrieking six times.*

**Baron von Frankenstein:** One o'clock.

**BeetleBob:** \*voiceover\* The clock says seven o'clock, it chimes *six* times, and he somehow gets one o'clock out of that.

**Raven Fox:** \*unamused\* Obviously, it's a clock that requires math.

**Baron von Frankenstein:** Oh, I do hope you'll like Felix Flanken when you meet him. I want you two to be friends.

**Francesca:** \*annoyed\* Felix Flanken... like him? I'll love him to pieces.

*She smacks the head on the cuckoo clock, forcing it to retreat back into its hole.*

**BeetleBob:** \*voiceover\* Then cut to the S.S. Herring, which all the monsters have to board from all over the world, because I guess that's the only boat that's kinda sorta going in the direction of Frankenstein's island.

**Dracula:** Could you tell me the fares to the Isle of Evil?

**Ship** **Captain:** That'll be a hundred bucks, and with your fancy cape and tuxedo and all, I think you could afford it.

*The count takes out his wallet, and sees it's empty.*

**Dracula:** Considering the dilapidated condition of my wallet- I mean your ship, I think I had better fly.

*He transforms into a bat and flies in through one of the ship's windows.*

**First Mate:** Me eyes are playing tricks on me! Did you see what I think I saw, captain?

**Ship Captain:** If I saw what you think you saw, I'd say we're both going batty.

*BeetleBob shrugs ala the Nostalgia Critic, accompanied by the same "wah-wah" sound.*

**BeetleBob:** \*voiceover\* And come on! You're Dracula, man! The conversation should've gone something like... \*as the ship captain\* That'll be a hundred bucks. \*as Dracula\* Actually, I think I'll be getting on for free. \*as the ship captain, in a trance-like state\* Actually, I think you'll be getting on for free. \*normal voice\* They also let Felix on board, free of charge, probably because they think he's some kinda giant, living ventriloquist dummy or something. *That* is scary!