Knife Wizards

## Plot

A young man awakes in his home city of Gary, Indiana to find his entire family has been murdered. His only lead, a mysterious magical smell and a dropped coupon to Knife Wizard Academy.

## Cast

The comedian Gilbert Godfrey played Professor Severit Blade, the most prominent instructor at the Knife-Cademy of Michigan. The auditions for this part involved the utterance of a single word: "Abra-castabra!"

Danny DeVito and Wendy O. Williams also played teachers. Williams got the part after she stabbed a stiletto through her own tongue; that was not part of the script, she did it because she did it.

## Filming

During filming there were two notable accidents involving camera operators, one of them being fatal. The first of the two incidents occurred when a very real and very sharp knife bounced off a piece of the set currently being used and took a chunk out of the camera operator's ear. While said operator was fine after a trip to the hospital to be patched up, the damaged ear was unable to be repaired and the operator was left permanently scarred. It is rumored that the operator was paid thousands of dollars - which came straight out of the film's budget - to keep quiet about the accident as well as to ensure Beeple Studios wouldn't be held liable.

The second accident resulted in the fatality of the camera operator, and information regarding this accident is only known to the public due to a leak from an ex-Beeple Studios staff member. A scene in the movie required a shot of a knife being thrown directly at the camera, and instead of devising some way of doing the shot safely, Beeple Studios decided that they'd have a stuntman literally throw an actual knife straight at the camera while having a person holding a thick piece of plywood stand right by the camera. The intended idea was to have the knife be thrown and the plywood would be stuck out in front of the camera to "catch" the knife, preventing any damage to said camera.

What actually ended up happening was the stuntman horribly botched the knife throw, causing it to go just above the camera and plywood. The camera operator (for some unknown reason) happened to stick their head up just in time to have the knife impale them through the throat, killing them near instantly via a severing of the spinal cord at the neck. Additionally the camera would end up soaked with blood and gore, and, despite still being operational, had to be disposed of because the crew refused to use it further for any reason.

## Trivia

Over 40 different "knife-spells" are featured in this movie. Some of the most noteworthy ones are as follows.

**Contingent Stabbing Spell:** Puts a curse on somebody so that if they perform a specified action, a knife appears and stabs them in the heart.

**Family-Killing Stab:** This magical technique not only stabs a individual, it also stabs all of that individual's close relatives, no matter where they are.

**Long-Distance Stabbing Spell:** This spell teleports a dagger into the heart of another person anywhere else on the planet.

**Memory-Carving Knife:** The wizard's knife can now cut specific memories out of somebody's brain without dealing any physical injury to them.

**Object-to-Knife Spell:** Changes any inanimate object into a knife. The hero casts this spell on his campfire. The verbal component of this spell is "Abra-castabra!"

**Space Slicing Knife:** This spell enchants a knife so that it can cut a opening in thin air that leads to another location on Earth that the wizard is familiar with.

**Supreme Sharpening Spell:** Enchants a knife so that it can cut through absolutely any kind of solid matter.

**Time-Traveling Stab:** The most powerful spell featured in *Knife Wizards*, the spell allows a wizard to stab somebody in the past. Finding the ancient and well-hidden grimoire containing this spell is a major subplot of the film.

## Marketing

Knife Wizards was advertised with the slogan, "In the world of Knife Magic, you always have to be on the cutting edge!"

A tabletop role-playing game was published by Crack Pipe Games as a marketing tie-in to this movie. The *Knife Wizards* game featured a unique mechanic where players had to act out specific stabbing and slashing motions with actual knives in order to cast in-game spells. Several injuries were reported before the game was forcibly withdrawn from the market. Several lawsuits were filed against Crack Pipe Games, but the company closed its office doors at a run-down strip mall in Lincoln, Nebraska and everyone involved with the company disappeared overnight.