EE Chapter 17

# Chapter Seventeen - "We Already Have One of Those"

### Dam-Bi

    On Sunday afternoon we returned home from our vacation in Kyoto, wasting no time before setting our plan in motion. Before school on Monday I personally dropped off the invitations to the company mailroom, along with a list of the girls who would be needing to receive them in their mail boxes. All told, there were now eight girls being invited to audition for us. On Wednesday, Juney and I met some friends for coffee to pass the time, which is a whole other funny story, but by *Thursday* we were going absolutely crazy with anticipation by the time we set up the practice room for the next evening. At least for me, it felt like we were throwing a party and nobody RSVP'd, so we had no idea how many guests to expect!

    Well, no more than eight, but still, it was rather uncomfortable for someone like me to be in the dark on something as important as this.

    "So, how are we scoring the girls? On looks? Dancing ability? We didn't tell them to prepare costumes, so we can't judge them entirely on visuals, right? We really should have specified more clearly what we wanted them to prepare…"

    "Ms. Han has a point. The instructions were very open ended. I have no doubt that, for example, Ms. Han and myself would have prepared very differently had we been given such a vague invitation."

    "I-It's not our fault! We just put what we were told…" Chiyo fretted out loud, causing her roommate Kanon to pat her on the back gently.

    "Nobody's blaming you two. You did a great job making the invitations eye-catching. Dam-Bi and Megumi are just pointing out that, in retrospect, we all could probably have approached this process with a little less excitement and a little more…"

    "Systematization." Megumin finished Junko's thought with an overly large word, drawing several blank stares.

    "We could have thought ahead to how it was going to work more. Rinko, what are your thoughts? What exactly are we looking for?" All eyes followed Junko's to land on our leader, waiting for clearer instructions on how this was going to go down.

    "Well… I've been giving that a lot of thought. The most important thing with any girl auditioning has to be her Interluniumeyness."

    Five sets of eyes gave Hanarin a puzzled look from both sides of the folding table we had brought upstairs for the audition process, because on TV the judges always have a big table they sit behind while they judge the contestants.

    "That's quite the word, Ms. Hanazawa. Could you, perchance, do us the favor of defining it?" As usual, Megumin knew how to say all the words the rest of us were lacking. Um, except for one.

    "Interluniumeyness… You know! How good a fit a girl would be for Interlunium! All the girls we invited look and sound great on paper, and I bet all of them will wow us with whatever they've prepared, but we need to decide which ones are the most Interluniumey to be our new group members. We'll know for sure when we see them! They'll be the ones that we absolutely can't live without!"

    "So, we won't be giving them scores on their performance or style, just their…" I couldn't even say it. Fortunately Chiyo did it for me.

    "Interluniumeyness! That should be easy!"

    I'm glad someone thought so. Personally it's just making me even more jittery. Looking around the table, I wasn't the only one. If Eimi were here I'm sure she'd have a cutting remark or twelve too, but she's…

    Actually, auditions start really soon. Where *is* Eimi?

    "By how many are we looking to expand, Ms. Hanazawa? How strict should we be when considering a girl's fit?"

    "I've thought about that too! You see, I think Junko figured that out for us already. Didn't you, Junko?"

    "I did?" Juney looked puzzled to be called out. I was surprised by it too, if I'm being honest. She's been almost the least enthusiastic about expanding the size of our little group all this time, so what has she been talking about with Rinko when the rest of us aren't around?

    "Of course you did! Think about it. I - N -T - E - Er… However it's spelled, there are eleven characters, right? So that means we need four more members before we're complete. That's just basic math."

    "So we just need to pick the top half of the girls we invited to audition. That's not so-"

    "It's impossible! I know! But we're gonna have to do it somehow, otherwise we're gonna need a longer name.”

    "And I've only just learned how to write 'Interlunium'..." Chiyo fretted once again at Hanarin's… joke? It must be a joke. Still, four more members is a lot, and we all need to agree on anyone we invite to join the group. It's going to be hard to get Eimi to approve of that many girls who are new to being idols. But seriously…

    "Has anyone seen our blonde? She's not planning on boycotting auditions so we can't select anyone, is she?"

    "Not at all. Ms. Inagawa and I arrived together. She's taken it upon herself to wait outside the practice room and personally greet all of our aspiring members. Isn't that kind of her?" Megumin smiled politely as she paid our missing member quite a nice compliment.

    "I see. That's really…" At just about the same moment Juney and I turned our heads directly to each other and made, I'm pretty sure, the exact same face. "I'll go help her! Make sure the girls get the full Interlunium welcome and… uh…"

    Running out of the practice room as quickly as I could, I nearly crashed full speed into a folding chair placed directly in front of the door, blocking any entrance or exit. Eimi Inagawa, fire hazard, was seated there chatting with a pair of girls, the only other people in the hallway. One was a short and skinny little auburn with an asymmetrical cut, wearing her hair a bit longer on the left side of her face. The other girl was quite tall and had on a rosy pink wig. Not that it's cheap looking, and therefore definitely a wig. And, there have been an awful lot of girls with pink hair around the building lately for some reason, so it certainly could be dyed. No, we just have some courses together at school this year, so unless she dyed it in the few hours since classes let out and plans to take it back to her natural sandy brown by Monday, what I'm seeing right now is definitely my coursemate Minori in a pink wig, looking a bit terrified even though her and the other girl have Eimi outnumbered *as well as* the height and reach advantage.

    "...can't believe you showed up with that to perform. First of all, it's not even a proper duet. Second, it's ***my song***, and it went gold. Why would you even try to do it as well as me? I'm sure you're fully competent idols. There's no way they would have passed you if you aren't, right? But I'm afraid our standards are higher than the trainers and coaches, and only the most remarkable girls will do. Thank you so much for your interest though! I hope that you're both big hits!"

    I stood behind Eimi, completely shocked at what I was witnessing. The auburn-haired girl managed to raise her complaint first. "W-Well, we thought it would be nice to do something everyone will recognize. You know, so we could… really…"

    Well, part of it…

    "And we know it's not normally a duet, but we thought that it would showcase our skill at harmonizing and working together, since you probably want more girls in the first place for that kind of thing, right?"

    "Oh, so now you think you know better than we do what we want in new members, huh?" Eimi practically spat as she answered. I'm not sure why though. Minori probably isn't too far off from what we'd actually do with some more members. At the very least it's a more rational reason to want more idols to join than having one for each letter in our group name…

    "N-No… We just wanted to… show off… a… little…" The smaller girl's words slowed down, like she was a toy whose battery was running dry.

    "Well, thank you for coming, Midori, but I'm afraid you've failed to prepare anything satisfactory for your audition, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

    "M-My name's Aoi… N-Not…"

    "Mine's Minori. That's probably what got you confused…"

    "Aoi, Midori, what's the difference? The only color that matters here is *pink*, so scram, got it?"

    The auburn-haired girl, Aoi, meekly thanked Eimi, not even appearing to register that I had appeared, before walking away at double time and disappearing in one of the practice rooms at the other end of the hall. My classmate looked me right in the eye but I stayed frozen, my mind having not yet caught up to what was actually going on here, before she slunk away to the same practice room.

    "E-Eimi! What are you doing?!"

    "Weeding out the duds. Can you believe some of the girls that got invited to audition for us? That one was basically six feet tall. How is that supposed to work? Would she dance on her knees or would we all wear stilts? And the other one could barely even talk!"

    "You can't send girls away! They need to audition!"

    "What's the point?" Eimi said arrogantly. "We agreed that we'd only take on new girls if it was a unanimous decision, right? Well, none of the girls who've shown up would have gotten my thumbs up in a million years, so I'm just giving them some extra time to do their homework or whatever. Really, I'm doing them a favor by not letting them get their hopes up."

    "Well… Well, still! I have dance class with one of them! What am I supposed to say on Monday? How many have you done that to?"

    "Only five." She held up an open hand and wiggled her tiny fingers. "Barely half. I hope some of the others Rinko picked out of the catalog are less-"

    Eimi's snark was drowned out by a high pitched squeal of excitement from down the hallway. A girl about my height but of much more generous proportions strutted down the hallway toward us, clapping her hands excitedly.

    "Eimi Inagawa! Oh my goodness! I'm your biggest fan!"

    As the girl got closer, everything about her spoke to that being true. Her hair was nearly the same bottle-blonde shade as Eimi's, and she had it drawn up in long twintails just like our little superstar. She had on a yellow dress and heels that could have come right out of Eimi's own closet, and even spoke in the same sort of saccharin tone. It was like seeing Eimi in a funhouse mirror - one that made her taller and somehow even curvier. She stopped in front of us and bowed deeply - showing that even her, ahem, *manners* are bigger than Eimi's - and introduced herself.

    "I'm Asa Asakura! I received one of the invitations to come and audition today!" The girl pulled a brightly colored piece of paper from her bag and waved it in front of us. I could scarcely comprehend what I was seeing, and Eimi… Eimi looked like she was absolutely disgusted to see her doppleganger up close. "This is a dream come true! A chance to audition for the great Eimi Inagawa! You can probably tell, but I've based my entire look on you. My producer Mr. Kumasawa even says I could be the next big thing. He'd kill me if he knew I were here, but how could I pass up the audition of a lifetime?!"

    "Well, Ms. Asakura, thank you for coming, but-"

    "But we already have one of those!" Eimi gave me a look as I interrupted her that conveyed everything that needed to be said about my newfound hypocrisy. But, in my defense, we do already have one of these, and I'm confident I speak for more than just myself when I say that Eimi's is a style that works best when she's unique. Two of them… Jinch’a!

    "Pardon me? What does that mean?" The second Eimi glared at me unhappily. Even her attitude was similar.

    So, I panicked.

    And, complimented her clothing.

    Very loudly and forcefully.

    In Korean.

    While shooing her away.

    *"\*Your shoes are very pretty. I like your handbag!\*"*

    "Hey, what's going on?"

    *"\*I hope you have a long and successful career!\*"*

    This seemed to get the hint across, and the girl gave me one last glower before marching away down the hall to the sound of Eimi laughing her head off.

    "Fine! That one would have been awful. But no more tricks on the last girls! That only leaves two. Statistically they must be a cut above the rest, so we'll be fine. Hanarin may be a little disappointed, but two is better than none! Besides, that one already had a producer. She probably couldn't even have joined anyway!"

    "Right, and he's a hack, so she's not going anywhere fast. And can you believe that cheap dye job? My 'biggest fan'? Yeah, maybe her hips…"

    Eimi and I exchanged a few more catty remarks, mostly about the ways in which the girl had been so similar to her, before three girls arrived in tandem, one more than we had been expecting, all in matching costumes.

    "They look like my parents' maids…" Eimi said with a laugh.

    As the trio approached - side by side and in step, which was either impressive or odd, depending on how you look at it - I was able to get a closer look at them. The girl in the center had bright orangish hair, sure to get Hanarin's seal of approval since we *don't* have one of those yet. The one on the left had silky auburn hair not too different from Hanarin herself, though her face was rounder and she was, if I had to guess, younger than our leader. The third girl was a tiny thing with long, straight black hair, and kind of reminded me of myself years ago before my growth spurt. At least from her stature and general tininess. They stopped in front of us and curtseyed, again in unison, before the center girl spoke.

    "Hiya! We're here to audition for Interlunium. I believe you're expecting us." She presented her invitation to us with a flourish.

    "Actually, weeeoOWW!" I pinched Eimi's shoulder. Not hard. No, really. Tae-Eun and I pinch each other all the time to try and distract each other when we're playing *Capsule Girls*, and so do Kanon and Chiyo. It barely even registers. I think Eimi may just be a wimp.

    "We're so happy you made it! Come right in."

    "Waitaminute! Not so fast! Something's off here." Eimi was so concerned she even stood up out of her chair and blocked the door with her own body. "Everyone who got invited is accounted for except for two girls, and there are three of you."

    "I've already talked to Rinko Hanazawa herself. She personally gave us permission to audition as a trio so we can show how well we work in a group." The girl with orange hair pushed on ahead, looking determined to get into the practice room whether she had to go around, through, or over Eimi to get there.

    "Well, the group only agreed to audition a certain number of girls, no matter what Rinko said, so I'm afraid there's no point in going any further, because you're *definitely* not getting in with an attitude like that."

    "Oh yes we are. Rinko's expecting us. Junko too."

    "Oh yeah? How are you gonna get past me then? Huh? Not so cocky now, are ya?"

    "Easy. We're blocking the only door to this practice room, so you're either gonna have to let us in to audition or you're not gonna be able to get out either." The two girls next to her got the point slightly before Eimi and locked arms, their combined width entirely blocking the doorway. Eimi, suddenly trapped with me between the trio of idols and the door to the practice room, turned bright red and looked to me for help.

    "I'm voting for all of them now just because of this. Come on in, girls! I like the way you think!" I laughed so hard I could barely speak to invite them in. I pushed open the door behind me and reentered the practice room. The three girls advanced in lockstep, eventually making Eimi retreat into the room as well. Before she could slam the door behind her all three of them slipped in effortlessly.

    "Hiya everyone! We made it!" The girl in the center waved at the rest of the girls at the table. "Awuh? Where's everyone else? I thought this was a big audition?"

    "Ahem!" I cleared my throat loudly and unnecessarily to get everyone's attention. "Everyone, it turns out that these three are the only girls who…" How do I explain it to the others… "These three are the only girls who made it to auditions. The rest… uh… didn't."

    There was some commotion between my group mates at this news. Rinko stood up straight behind the table and addressed the girls waiting to audition.

    "Well if that's the case… Congratulations! You're in!"

    The juniors clapped at this news while the prospective members gasped. The older girls were a bit more… confused by Rinko's proclamation.

    "Rinko, we talked about this…" Juney hung her head in her hand. Rinko suddenly looked embarrassed and addressed the girls again.

    "Oops! Sorry! I guess you still have to audition first… but you're all definitely getting my vote!"

    "Perhaps we should start with introductions, Ms. Hanazawa?"

    "Right! I'm Rinko Hanazawa! I'm the leader of Interlunium and-"

    "I think Megumi meant they should introduce themselves to us. Not the other way around…"

    Rinko turned slightly red when Junko pointed that out, sitting down so the girls could get on with it. I joined them back at the table, as did Eimi, and we gave the three girls our undivided attention.

    "I guess I'll go first. I'm Akira Hoshino, a brand new idol. I just passed my exams last week, and I don't have a producer yet. Though I've always hoped that I'd be part of a group with my two best friends here! My expertise is dancing, but I like to think I sing pretty well too, and some people say I'm pretty cute! Right, Eimi?"

    "She's amazing! She saved my life too! I fell out of a tree." Hanarin shouted, seeming oddly proud of that fact. Akira scratched the back of her head, a little embarrassed from the praise.

    "Ah, yeah. I was just in the right place at the right time is all. I would've caught anyone I saw falling out of a tree, even if they weren't a famous idol."

    "Well, that's very impressive Ms. Hoshino. I hope you show the same strength and reflexes on the stage. How about your friends?"

    "Nihao! I'll go next." The small girl volunteered to go second, stepping forward to the front of our table. "My name is Yume Zhou. I'm a brand new idol too, the same as Akira, and I'm really excited to be here today. I also specialize in dancing, but I passed all of my exams so I can do pretty much everything. I can even rap a little if you need me to!"

    The third girl stood back a few steps from the first two, looking particularly nervous. Akira and Yume grabbed her by the arms and pulled her forward, pushing her into the limelight.

    "Moi?" The auburn girl paused until pretty much everyone was nodding their heads yes. "Well… I'm Anette. Anette Chanel, idol extraordinaire! You may have heard of me because… I'm not actually a brand new idol. I'm not even very extraordinaire… But Yume and Akira are my best friends, and I'm here to support them. All of our routines we've made up have been for a trio, so they wanted me here to show how well they work in a group. That's all…"

    "Aha!" Eimi pointed at the girl. "I knew one of you snuck in!"

    "Non! There was no sneaking! Mademoiselle Akira got permission from Mademoiselle Rinko for me to help them. Nobody wants me, so I'm just trying to help my friends while I can. You can't hold it against them!"

    "Excuse me!" I interrupted. "What do you mean that nobody wants you? You said you're already an idol, correct?"

    "Oui. I am currently an idol, but my producer…"

    "Her producer is a jerk!" The tiny girl spoke up.

    "Yeah! He's dropping her because he's lazy!"

    "Ms. Chanel, is this true?"

    "Yes, Mademoiselle Megumi." There was a long, awkward pause as the meaning of what she was saying set in. "I only have a short time to find a new producer, but they're all très busy with their new girls, so none I've managed to talk to have been interested in taking me on. So you see, this will be my last performance as an idol. I'm just happy that I finally get a chance to perform with my best friends so you all can see how magnifique they are."

    "I see. And who is your producer, Ms. Chanel?"

    "It is… was, Monsieur Kumasawa."

    "I see… Will you all please excuse us for a moment while we confer among ourselves?"

    Everyone huddled together as closely as we could, talking in hushed tones so the three girls couldn't hear us.

    "I have to admit, I find myself sympathetic to the girl's situation, but I'm curious what everyone thinks. If these are indeed the only girls to arrive to audition, I feel punishing the girls' initiative would reflect rather poorly on us." Megumin was understandably swayed by Anette's story, having joined Interlunium under almost exactly the same circumstances.

    "I want all three of them!" Squealed Hanarin, a bit too loudly. "Look at her! If I'd seen her file I would've wanted her to join even sooner!"

    "Yeah, but you didn't, and she wasn't even invited. If they can't follow a simple instruction, what will it be like working with them?" Eimi grimaced, not enjoying her vision of the future.

    "That's not entirely true." Juney let slip some new information. "After Rinko and I ran into Akira at the park we felt we owed her a great deal. She asked if Anette could audition too but I didn't feel it was right to say yes making that exception for only one established idol. But that was also when we thought we would be auditioning eight girls, not just two. Rinko and I both agreed though that there was no harm in letting the two we invited audition with their friend. If any of the other girls would have had the same request we'd have allowed it too. In some ways it isn't any different than using pre-recorded harmonies, or flashy props."

    "If she's performing anyway, I don't see any reason we can't invite her if she impresses us." I also felt that maybe since I'd scared away one girl, it would be appropriate for me to consider this one a replacement, which would mean my karmic debt would be wiped clean. "Plus, Rinko wants four more girls. Even if Akira and Yume both end up joining, we'd need to hold more auditions anyway. If you look at it like that, all we'd be doing is letting Anette audition now instead of making her do it all over again next week. And let's be honest, Hanarin's going to invite her to audition as soon as this is over anyway."

    "Dam-Bi's right!" Hanarin gave me a big thumbs up. "I totally will, so you may as well just let her do it now."

    "I c-couldn't get a producer either. I'm only here because you all gave me a chance when I couldn't. I think we should consider her since she's here." Chiyo spoke up next, patting her fluffy friend inside her breast pocket.

    "And Anette was the first fan me and Chiyo ever met. I had some classes with her at the start of my training too. She's really nice. I think we should let her audition." Even Kanon broke her silence to advocate for the girl. She wouldn't do that for just anyone.

    "Yeah yeah yeah, she's got a good sob story, but she couldn't make it even with a producer who doesn't have any other real talent to manage. Why would we waste our time with someone like that?"

    "Why indeed, Ms. Inagawa."

    Eimi made a face like she had just licked a battery. She had to have known that Megumi was dropped by the exact same producer just before we formed the group, right?

    "Fine! If it'll make you all happy then let her audition. They're still not going to impress me." Eimi had a partial change of heart. Interesting… Maybe she feels guilty for turning away all those girls too? With a consensus reached, it was time to get things moving again.

    "Thank you for bearing with us while we discussed what to do. We're going to proceed as we discussed with you, Akira, with one exception. Since you're here and prepared, Anette, if you're interested, we're going to evaluate all three of you for membership in Interlunium. Are you prepared for that?" The girls all perked up once Junko gave them the news - especially Anette, who shook her head enthusiastically - and they moved into position, Anette in the center with the two new idols on either side. "You can start whenever you're ready. Show us what you've got."

\_\_\_\_

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