Glad To Be Sad

Does anyone here remember the British sitcom; Glad To Be Sad? It was produced by ITV and ran from 1983 to 1986. It centred around a clown named Spud who worked as a former circus clown turned police officer. He is inspired to become a police officer after witnessing his older brother Fud die from exhaustion during a carnival show after the carnival master; Master Antonello forces him to work extra hard. The show focused on Spud's attempts to fit in as a police officer in a police department full of clown haters. He was rivals with Sergeant John Huckstable who seeks to thwart Spud's attempts to become Commissioner. There was also a huge love triangle subplot in the series involving Spud, Huckstable, and his wife Mrs Huckstable. The show lasted a total of only 20 episodes over the course of two series, and it was cancelled prematurely due to the network hating it. Glad To Be Sad was actually scheduled to have a third and final series of 10 episodes which would have concluded the love triangle between Spud, Huckstable, and Mrs Huckstable. Sadly, head of ITV at that time; Michael Scott scrapped the planned third series and ordered for the show's immediate cancellation siting the series as being, "weak old pugwash that nobody in their right mind was going to miss." Two episodes for Series Three were actually fully scripted and ready to be filmed before the cancelation happened.

Glad To Be Sad had a very negative critical reception due to the fact that the show's humour was very smelly and quite violent when it was supposedly a show that families could watch while eating their dinner. In one episode, Spud runs over an old lady with his car, Spud and Fud are shown getting whipped on the pillory by Don Antonello, and another episode featured Spud working undercover on a farm for a man who is heavily implied to be a cannibal as Huckstable mentions that he is a frequenter to morgue parties. For these reasons episodes such as, "Driving Mrs Huckstable," and, "Straight Out Of Morgue Party," were banned from ever being shown on television. Though it was panned during it's initial run, the show has garnered a massive cult following in recent years especially after Mighty Eagle mentioned on his podcast Free The Eagle that Glad To Be Sad was his favourite program and he didn't care who knew it even his miserable old landlord Mrs Corkscrew. Michael Scott has been publicly roasted over Twitter for cancelling the show far too early before we got the much sought after third series. Scott was accused of being a hypocrite as he had a known fear of clowns. While Glad To Be Sad was still airing, someone at ITV pranked Scott by dressing up as a clown and then jumping out of a closet at him. In an interview with the Lost Heaven Inquirer years later, that same employee speculated that this incident is what led to Glad To Be Sad getting cancelled early.

Noel Sank who played Spud and Walter Jay Mittens who played Fud were both surprised with the public's love for the series. On Facebook, Noel Sank wrote, "I'm honestly surprised by the public and their love for the series. I'd simply like to say thank you very much." Noel Sank was actually a clown in real life and he still performs to this very day. Well at least until 2016, when he got beaten up by a bunch of rowdy students at Fordham University. Sensing that the public were ready for the show to come back, Noel and Walter set to work on preparing a stage show which would have served as a backdoor pilot for a potential revival. To help advertise the stage show, Noel appeared on his local news station to advertise it. He looked really sad and kept avoiding answering questions about the stage show. Preferring to instead talk about his uncle who lived in Waterloo Road. Yes, he lived inside the road as Noel and his family are part moles after all. The stage show premiered at the New Wimbledon Theatre and sadly was met with a rather mixed critical reception. Audiences hated the show for it's really cringey and dated humour which included Spud learning what a smart phone is and a really DISGUSTING scene which featured Spud drinking orange juice with a straw from the floor of a smelly pub which was so smelly it stank the Theatre out. Due to the horrid reception of the stage show, the planned revival was cancelled and Walter Jay Mittens has since become quite a bitter bastard as he refuses to talk about the show anymore. One time, a fan asked him for an autograph and Mittens responded by beating the fan to death with his shoe. An eye for an eye!

The first series of Glad To Be Sad was very realistic and was portrayed as a more conventional sitcom, but the second series took things in the more surreal direction. Fud who as stated at the very beginning of this doc was killed in the very episode of the show actually was brought back in series two. The reason? Well according to the series two opener, "The Return Of Brother Fud," Fud had actually faked his death in order to escape the circus after being offered a job in Spain by the Cartel. Working with the Cartel, Fud was nearly killed when the Cartel learned he used to be a mop. Going on the run, Fud returned home to London where he reunited with Spud. The majority of Series Two focused on Spud and Fud's attempts to break away from their former clown lifestyle only to perform a charity gig in Westbourne for Governor Jones. Governor Jones loved the gig so much that he offered Spud a job as his personal assistant in Morocco. Now, Spud turned down the offer but originally he accepted it. You see; Noel Sank was growing tired with the show and wanted to accept more dramatic roles. If Noel had left, Spud would have taken up Governor Jones' offer and Fud would have become the protagonist of Glad To Be Sad. The show was even going to be renamed to Glad To Be Fud. Thankfully, that never ended up happening as Noel agreed to stay on after someone threw a brick at him when he suggested leaving the show early. Series Two also wrote out some characters including Don Antonello though this was due to his actor Carlo (he refused to give me permission to reveal his last name), moving to Italy and becoming involved with an incredibly cynical opera master. How cynical. Too cynical one could say, but then again I digress.

Don Antonello was the show's main antagonist during its first series, but he was written out after Carlo's departure. The main conflict of the first series was that he planned on kidnapping Spud forcing him to come back to the circus. In Series Two, Commissioner Fletcher took over the role as the show's main antagonist. While in the first series, Fletcher was presented as a strict but friendly father figure to Spud, in Series Two he took a real level in jerk ass and became Spud and Fud's arch nemesis. He was originally a honest cop, but Series Two revealed he had used his tax money to build his very own house made all out of wood for keeping you dry when it's raining. Commissioner Fletcher became much cruder and he often made fun of Spud and Fud whenever they came to report a crime to them. He also developed an addiction to donuts. One weirdly serious episode named, "Donut Bring Those In Here," revolves around Spud and Fud being forced by Huckstable to cure Commissioner Fletcher of his addiction to donuts, Though the pair tried their best, it wasn't enough and the episode ended with Commissioner Fletcher alone in his office crying over a box of smelly donuts. Noel Sank admitted in an interview that the reason Commissioner Fletcher became an antagonist, was that the creators simply didn't know what to do with his character as he was very bland and characterless during Series One. This is the reason why Fletcher takes such a drastic level in jerk ass in Series Two. It's also worth noting that his addiction to donuts was never mentioned in Series One, and in fact, he actually seemed to prefer a salad over anything else in spite of his overweight appearance.

Mrs Huckstable... oh man Mrs Huckstable the woman of the hour. The main love triangle of the series centred around her, Spud, and her husband. It's crystal clear from her introduction in Series One episode one, that she is attracted to Spud but she refuses to let him on instead trying to set Spud up with her sister Joyce who works as a bellhop at the local hotel. Joyce is a horrid character who tells really awful jokes that are so bad that the live studio audience actually had to be held at gunpoint so that they would actually laugh at Joyce's jokes. Her jokes were so bad and it was no wonder that much like Don Antonello, she was completely written out of Glad To Be Sad following the first series. She was still mentioned however. Joyce was actually going to appear in the never made Series Three, in fact, according to Noel Sank, the idea was for her to marry Spud after he realises that he and Mrs Huckstable were never meant for each other anyway. Much like Commissioner Fletcher, Mrs Huckstable took a drastic level in jerk ass during Series Two as she begins to take advantage of Spud's crush on her to make him do all sorts of things for her including taking her shopping during a rampant sale at Selfridges, and helping her interview a local small time mob boss who wishes to have Spud's head on a stick. Fud helps Spud out by killing the mob boss by giving him a rancid fish cube which is laced with ass sauce. Unlike Commissioner Fletcher, Mrs Huckstable and her sudden rise in jerk ass levels were never explained.

Sergeant John Huckstable the show's secondary and much more active antagonist. The husband of Mrs Huckstable and Spud's romantic rival, Huckstable serves as the Squidward Tentacles equivalent for the series. Seriously, you think Squidward has it rough? Oh man are you wrong! In some episodes, you end up rooting for Huckstable as opposed to Spud and Fud and wish that those two feckers would just die already. In one episode, Huckstable gets invited to a game show and takes Spud and Fud with him after his wife gets food poisoning from a rotten duck she had at the Golden Koi. Huckstable nearly wins the show which involves you answering questions and then taming a wild goose. Huckstable was on the cusp of taming the goose, until Fud let out a massive fart which startled the goose and caused it to bite Huckstable and his nose with it's beak. The rampant goose ran around the studio eating people until it was eventually shot dead by security. Huckstable begged to be given another chase by host; Bob Undertaker but he refused and called Huckstable a horrid word before having him evicted off the premises. To add insult to injury, Spud and Fud then performed in the show and they ended up winning £100,000,000. In a previous scene, the pair had agreed to split the money evenly with Huckstable. Huckstable was horrified to learn that the pair had declined the HUGE cash prize in favour of the second prize; spend a week at wrestling camp. Huckstable sank to his knees and sobbed heavily as the money was sucked up by a vacuum cleaner. I must admit I cried.

Of course, Huckstable knew of Spud's attraction to Mrs Huckstable, and he would regularly threaten him because of this fact. Despite his flaws, Huckstable in stark contrast to Commissioner Fletcher, was a honest cop and a pretty competent one too as he always tries his best to solve cases though he doesn't always take great care with them forcing Spud to step in and help out. Huckstable and his hatred for Spud gets even worse once Fud gets introduced into the main cast as he sets the pair up to be killed by a rabid bull, but they manage to survive much to Huckstable and Commissioner Fletcher's chagrin. Out of all the actors, Sean Carlsen is the only one still acting to this day though only in very minor roles including an episode of Doctor Who where he ironically played a policeman. Sally Cantonworthy who played Mrs Huckstable had a short lived sitcom named, "Woman About," which lasted only six episodes and was critically panned. Cantonworthy never acted again because of this failure though she did reprise her role as Mrs Huckstable in the doomed stage show. All the cast returned for the stage show even Carlo returned as Don Antonello. Sadly, since the stage show came out years after the original show had ended, all the cast were incredibly old and looked very tired most especially Commissioner Fletcher whom I'm pretty sure had become blind. He kept walking into stage lights and even fell off the stage during the big dance off at the end of the show.

Glad To Be Sad was also heavily criticised for having strong elements of animal cruelty. Several episodes feature Spud running over cats with his car and even poisoning Mrs Huckstable's cat with smelly tuna after the latter had begun poking through Spud's dustbins. Mrs Huckstable had a rather weird diet which consisted of eating live cockroaches which disgusted her husband, but delighted Spud as he loved to eat bumblebees. Oh, and a rather infamous episode of Series One entitled, "Elephants And Kings," also caused quite a stir. In this episode, Spud rents a series of elephants from Don Antonello thinking that he could get the elephants to perform at the policeman's ball which was being held at an old and quite frankly very smelly dancehall. Sadly, the elephants ended up running rampant and destroyed the entire dancehall in the process. Its rumoured that an overly obnoxious kid named Big Ears McGee a distant relative of the Ratface family caused the elephants to actually go rampant by throwing stones at them. After the episode was recorded, the elephants were all sold into salt mines, but they managed to escape and went on the run to a nearby jungle only to get forced to work for Colonel Hathi. "Discipline was a thing!" Colonel Hathi would bark each and every morning. Colonel Hathi was a proper bastard but I almost cried when he broke his beloved stick which he used to emphasise points. Hathi had leaned down on the stick causing it to happen, and upon looking at the now broken stick Hathi pulled the saddest face you'd ever see. Oh, Colonel Hathi you poor turkey baster!

Animal cruelty aside, let's talk about the actual history behind Glad To Be Sad because it's quite interesting. Two community college roommates; Commodore Hudgins and Noel Sank came up with the show's premise during breaks from class. They wanted a show which would finally give clowns the respect that they so rightfully deserved. Now this was back in the 1960's, and it would not be until 1983 when the show actually became a reality. After leaving college, the pair went their separate ways with Hudgins becoming a floor manager at Television Centre in London, while Noel Sank became a clown who toured with the farce clown group; "The Party Crashers." The Party Crashers was a farce clown act which involved Noel and his cohorts sneaking into stuck up parties and performing acts for the snooty guests, but sadly it failed to catch on and the group disbanded very early on. From that point on, Noel became a solo act and regularly performed at birthday parties and for senior citizens who would happily beat Noel with a stick if they could. Oh if they could! Meanwhile, Hudgins using mainly spoons was able to infiltrate ITV's inner circle. In doing so, Hudgins after a series of failed shows left the door, was asked if he had any ideas for a potential series. He suggested his idea for a clown based sitcom. Originally, Spud was going to be a fireman, but it was changed to police officer as ITV execs believed there was more story potential there than in firefighting. The idea of Spud becoming a firefighter was totally forgotten about as in Series Two, Spud's brother Fud gets a job as a firefighter though he is fired in the series finale for accidentally filling the hoses with kerosene. He was going to get a job as a waiter at the hotel where Joyce worked in Series Three. Had it actually of been made that is.

Hudgins immediately casted his dear friend Noel as the role of Spud. In truth, Noel felt he was born to Spud as he actually worked as a clown in real life and felt that his experience working as a clown made his character more believable. Hudgins wrote every single episode with Noel co-writing 6 of the 20 episodes. Noel lamb shaded his time with the Party Crashers in an episode he wrote named, "Clowning Around," where Spud joins a group of funeral crashing clowns who crash funerals in an attempt to collect on the insurance money. Hudgins had no idea that Glad To Be Sad was going to be cancelled, and had begun writing scripts for the third series when the cancellation was announced by Michael Scott handing a leaflet under Hudgin's door. The leaflet had the words, "CANCELLED," written on it in ketchup. Bad ketchup too. Following Glad To Be Sad's premature cancellation, Hudgins declined to stay with ITV and also turned down job offers from both BBC and Dave. Instead opting to join the Royal Navy where he eventually became a Commodore. It was because of his new Commodore duties, that Hudgins refused to participate in the doomed stage show. Without Hudgins and his constant care and control, the stage show was set to fail from the very beginning. Hudgins has lost his mind and become a very smelly Commodore who has a thing for people who can't spot him at a train station. He also regularly stops people in the street demanding they sing him a sea shanty. He won't let them pass less they sing him one with feeling. Commodore Hudgins you used to be cool, but now you're just an old sea dog whose lost any possible trace of coolness.

Walter Jay Mittens the actor behind Fud had other reasons to despise Glad To Be Sad aside from the critically panned stage show. He hated the show already, but pretended to love it for his children and fans of the show. Following Glad To Be Sad, Walter found himself heavily typecast as Fud and was always assigned to play overweight dim witted characters. He actually appeared in Sally's doomed sitcom, "Woman About," as Sally's great grandfather Willis. Walter eventually gave up acting and got a job as a cruise ship entertainer. Noel Sank retired from acting following Glad To Be Sad, and went back to clowning around. Meanwhile, Walter Jay Mittens became much more aggressive and was actually quite the bastard on set and he often got into fights with Noel Sank and Commodore Hudgins over how much effort he put into episodes. The stage show nearly didn't happen due to Mittens and Sank clashing on pretty much everything including how much weight Mittens was expected to gain for the part, Mittens wanted to have a much bigger role so that he could eat up more screen time than his co-star, and one scene which involved Fud eating a smelly cheese cake was written specifically because Mittens demanded he be allowed to eat some cake. Noel Sank got the last laugh however, as the cake was rancid and was covered in grated cheese and it was filled with jam. Mittens is allergic to jam so he had to be excused from the stage for several hours while he was treated by an on site medic. While Glad To Be Sad was being made,

Walter regularly took his pet Doberman; Luca to shoots with him and would lock Luca up in his trailer while he recorded his scenes. Walter never told anyone about him bringing his dog to the shows with him. A cleaning lady found the hard way as when she headed inside Walter's trailer for some house cleaning she was attacked by Luca and actually had to be admitted to the hospital. Walter Jay Mittens was so horrible that Noel Sank actually seriously considered hiring someone else to play Fud in the stage show, but decided to hire Mittens though no reason has been given as to why he ultimately decided to relent on not hiring Mittens. The rest of the cast have embraced the show and it's cult following, with Noel wiping a tear from his eye whenever someone mentions how good it was to him. So let's move on from Walter Jay Mittens' bad behaviour, and talk more about the doomed stage show which we briefly discussed earlier as there's a lot to talk about in regards to it.

To be honest, I believe that the stage show of Glad To Be Sad was doomed from the start given the fact that Commodore Hudgins refused to participate. Without Hudgins. Noel Sank was forced to hire a bunch of consultants who were all members of the Easily Offended Knights of Nottingham. The consultants had never seen Glad To Be Sad before, so Noel made them watch all 20 episodes before helping him with writing the script for the stage show. The consultants offered very bad advice for the stage show, and they forced Noel to tone down some of the more adult elements from the series such as smoking, the extreme violence, and other things. The story behind the stage show was that Spud and Fud were going on holiday to America to act as the Grand Carnival a massive carnival in Minnesota which was set to be attended by the President. Not wanting the pair to perform the biggest show of their lives, Huckstable and Commissioner Fletcher conspired with Don Antonello to have the pair killed. There was a really dull side plot involving Mrs Huckstable needing a leg transplant only for her husband to learn that she was actually faking her injury in an attempt to con the British Government. It sounds funny, but it really isn't. Nobody in the theatre laughed at a single one of the jokes. Actually tell a lie, one incredibly fat smelly man laughed and kept farting violently. He laughed like a seal, and didn't help his grandma when she got mugged out of her own seat by a couple of teenage hoods. Noel had admitted in interviews and on Facebook and Twitter that the story of the stage show was not his idea but the consultants. Noel's idea was for Spud and Fud to become secret agents and being forced to assassinate Don Antonello before he performs a massive show in front of the Prime Minister. The consonants all rejected Noel's initial draft, and demanded that he had a bunch of preachy morals to it. Also during breaks, the Easily Offended Knights of Nottingham provided a choir to entertain guests during them. You were forced to sing in the choir or else you'd be given a firm telling off.

What if the stage show had succeeded? Well, Glad To Be Sad would have been given it's long awaited third series, but in hindsight, I'm honestly really glad that it never happened. I mean the stage show was in 2016, and the original series ended in 1986 so that's a whopping 30 year long hiatus between series. It would be different if it was say a spin off or something, but carrying on a show after 30 years would take some doing. None of the actors looked like they had their A game anymore. Especially Commissioner Fletcher and Fud. Time has passed them by, and it's time for them to fly up to southern skies. According to Noel, his idea for the revival was to have it take place in a retirement home and have an elderly Spud and Fud getting up to mischief much to the annoyance of Commissioner Fletcher who has since retired from the force to take over the retirement home after being left the deeds in his father's will. Meanwhile, Huckstable was also a resident at the home and tried to put a stop to Spud and Fud's antics. It's unknown if Mrs Huckstable would have returned for the revival, though Noel stated that Spud would have a new love interest in the form of a nurse working at the home. Reportedly, Spud was considering having Fud played by a different actor for the revival most likely Dan Aykroyd who was known to be a big fan of Glad To Be Sad. In fact before the stage how came out, a massive documentary for Glad To Be Sad was made in 2015 and many famous fans of the show were interviewed including Aykroyd. Aykroyd looked very tired during his interview, and kept yapping on and on about he needed the shell of a Great Grandfather Snail. Who you gonna call? Certainly not Aykroyd!

Speaking of famous fans, Glad To Be Sad has quite a few of them. Most notably the aforementioned Dan Aykroyd and Stephen Spielberg. Stephen Spielberg actually offered to appear in the revival should it have happened. Spielberg planned to play Fud if Aykroyd turned it down. Spielberg also appeared in the documentary, and was very excited about the possibility of a revival. Still, Spielberg was greatly disappointed by the stage show and at the after party, he came up to Noel Sank and asked, "what the hell was that Noel?" The stage show has yet to be released on DVD but you can find it for free on YouTube and Netflix. The quality isn't very good on the YT version, and on Netflix they cut out the choir intervals. So pick your poison. Speaking of Netflix, many people have begged the site as well as Amazon Prime to put Glad To Be Sad on their site, but both companies have refused time after time. It's very confusing that Netflix doesn't have the show when they have it's stage adaption, but whatever. Oh, and before we move on one of the other criticisms about the stage show was it's length. My God was it a long ass show! Six hours and forty five minutes! Eight hours and fifteen minutes if you include the choir intervals. There was a lot of filler in the show explaining it's length, and it took Spud and Fud four hours just to get to America. The last two hours was full of pointless training montages and lots of preachy moral pugwash that appeals to no one in particular. For shame!

I think a big reason why Glad To Be Sad never came back, was the fact that the show just wasn't meant for the current easily offended generation that we find ourselves in right now. The show's incredibly violent nature just wouldn't have worked out today. Oh, Glad To Be Sad along with Bottom were infamous for their slapstick violence. Glad To Be Sad had scenes where Fud would have shove fireworks into Spud's nose causing it to blow off. With his nose gone, Spud was forced to use an ice cream cone as a replacement and he kept that ice cream nose for the remainder of the show. Though this was abandoned for the stage show, and Spud was given his regular nose back. Originally, Spud was meant to have a line in the stage show lamb shading it, but the consultants told him, "nac oes," as they believed fourth wall humour was the pain of all existence. In another episode, Huckstable shoved cookies down Spud's throat which actually forced Noel Sank to be admitted to the hospital as he really did choke on some of the little tasty treats. Glad To Be Sad was ahead of it's time in many areas as it made fun of the anti clown culture of the 1980's, and it was nice to have a programme which spoke fondly of clowns. Clowns have been given such a bad rep over the years so it was nice to have a show that gave them the representation that they so rightfully deserved. To this day, Glad To Be Sad is regularly repeated on ITV but I heard the network is planning to stop airing the show soon. Oh buggering buggerton!

So to conclude; Glad To Be Sad was a show that I personally believe was a head of it's time. I mean yeah sure; the show has dated quite a bit especially the cheesy training montages and awful set design, but Glad To Be Sad is still widely considered a hidden gem that must be seen to be believed. Personally, I am really glad the show never came back as Glad To Be Sad was a once and a life time thing, and by bringing it back, a lot of the magic would be lost. Glad To Be Sad was a show that was made for and meant for the 1980's, and that my friends is truly something to think about. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to be off. I'm going to go and make myself a lovely cup of how sweet tea and watch another episode of Glad To Be Sad.