Be Prepared

## Song info

This song appears on:

Tom Lehrer: Revisited, track 13

The Remains of Tom Lehrer (disc 1), track 3

The Remains of Tom Lehrer (disc 2), track 13

## Lyrics

SPOKEN LIVE INTRODUCTION

You know, of all the songs I have ever sung, that is the one

I've had the most requests not to.

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This actually refers to the previous track on Revisited, “I hold your hand in mine.” Since the song centers on a person holding the dismembered hand of the lover he killed, it’s at least a little understandable that it would be his least requested song.

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I have time for one more here. This one is a little song dedicated to the Boy Scouts of America.

(applause) We seem to have a convention here tonight.

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Tom Lehrer had a tendency towards very dry wit, especially with regard to applause in the middle of his statements.

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The Boy Scouts of America, those noble little bastions of democracy,

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He’s about to say “bastards”, but then… doesn’t.

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and the American Legion of tomorrow.

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The American Legion is a military veterans group, open to those who served in wartime and were discharged honorably. (Serving in a combat position is not strictly required, merely serving during wartime periods). Lehrer is implying that the Boy Scouts are the future soldiers of America, and therefore also its future veterans.

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Lehrer himself denies that he was ever a member of the BSA, but he arguably qualifies himself as a member of the American Legion, having served in the Army (very briefly) during the period of the Korean War.

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Their motto is--I would like to state at this time that I am not now and have never been... a member of the Boy Scouts of America--their motto is, as you know, "Be Prepared," and that is the name of this song

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Referring to the famous hearings held by Senator McCarthy in the 1950s, in the House Committee on Un-American Activities. “I am not and never have been a member of the Communist Party,” was famously said by Alger Hiss. The word “now” is often (erroneously) inserted on requoting him. In denying that he was ever a member, he is treating the organization as if membership in it were undesirable.

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SUNG:

Be prepared!

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“Be Prepared” has been the motto of the BSA (Boy Scouts of America) since its inception.

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That's the Boy Scouts' marching song

Be prepared! As through life you march along

Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well

Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell

Be prepared! To hide that pack of cigarettes

Don't make book if you cannot cover bets

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Don’t take bets (make book) unless you can afford to pay out winnings to the lucky ones.

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Keep those reefers hidden where you're sure

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Keep your marijuana (reefer) hidden, because if the scoutmaster finds it, he’ll want some for himself.

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That they will not be found

And be careful not to smoke them

When the scoutmaster's around

For he only will insist that it be shared

Be prepared!

Be prepared! That's the Boy Scouts' solemn creed

Be prepared! And be clean in word and deed

Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice

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“Soliciting” is an old term for prostitution. This line says not to pimp out one’s sister unless it’s profitable enough. Lehrer’s setting a pretty low bar here.

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Unless you get a good percentage of her price

Be prepared! And be careful not to do

Your good deeds when there's no one watching you

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One of the criticisms of the boy scouts is that it teaches kids that good deeds get you rewards – which isn’t necessarily true. It’s important to teach people to do good for good’s sake – not to do it because you expect a reward.

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If you're looking for adventure of a

New and different kind

And you come across a Girl Scout who is

Similarly inclined

Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared

Be prepared!

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Here Lehrer turns the motto “be prepared” into advice to use a condom during sex.

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