S02E02 - Hermione's First D

## Hermione's First D

The Golden Threesome gave us Plughorn. Emily Porter made him come alive.

This episode includes approximately the second half of Chapter 1 of "An Honest Mistake" by the author mctwist. It then skips chapter 2 entirely and starts with the first part of chapter 3. This was due to the chapters being out of order in the document they were reading from.

## Episode Summary

Hermione gets her first "D", and she's totally fine with that!

## Notable Moments

* Season 1 Episode 3 is the most popular downloaded episode because, of course, of Danny!
* Hosts promise that if you give them their 69th 5 star review on iTunes, they promise to give a shout-out of some kind to them (or pop out of a birthday cake).
* Allie and Lyndsay introduce the worst Draco voices ever...kind of like the "Oh, Hello" characters.
* (A:) Hermione just got finger-blasted. (L:) Did anyone think that sentence would ever get spoken in the world?
* Draco only has a hoftie? Good thing Hermione is a problem-solver.
* Hermione uses one hand to make Draco hard and the other to stir a potion to get an A. (A): Her first D. (L:) Hermione's First D is what this episode should be called!
* Lyndsay learned to swim via the "sink or swim" method and her dad \*may\* be a Puerto Rican drug lord.
* Lyndsay catches herself before saying a gross thing. Then proceeds to say the gross thing. Comparing and contrasting a teenage boner to a grown man. Warmly recalls the boners of her past. #TeenageBonerAntics (ages 18-23)
* Hermione's the best at everything, including blowjobs. It's bOner, not bonEr.
* Danny is not on board with Dramione unless they have a long heart-to-heart first and hash out their complicated history.
* Isn't everyone's last thoughts before penetration, "I love magic"?
* Ding dong! Who's there? The clit!
* Did they lock the doors? Allie suggests that Slughorn is probably in the room disguised as a couch right now. Danny thinks he's the desk they're having sex on.
* Definitely not Draco's first time. Pansy probably put out (actress was in Playboy)
* PSA: Pulling out is not effective! Condoms and birth control, kids!
* Lyndsay is all hot and Pottered while reading while Allie is wondering when they're going to clean up the mess.
* Allie impersonates Snape from season 1 (which had an abundance of towels to clean up with.)
* Danny works on his Snape impersonation, but it comes out more Flitwick-y.
* Hermione knows everything...except apparently where babies come from.
* "Accio jizz rag!" ~ Danny
* Danny is impressed by Draco's stamina...ah, to be an 18 year old again!
* Slughorn appears in the door...so definitely not the desk.
* "Remember that time you made us make the most dangerous love potion in existence? Well "accidentally" the teenagers took it and now we're all boning!" ~ Danny
* Slughorn gives out the most questionable full marks ever. Definitely dubious consent going on here (Draco is drugged, Slughorn seems fine with it).
* "Slughorn's a PI-AMP!" ~ Allie
* Pansy + Slughorn = Plughorn
* Some debate whether "previous 2 nights" means they have hooked up two nights in a row, or whether they hooked up 2 nights previously. It is possible that they may have accidentally skipped chapter 2 (where they do appear to hook up again...)
* Hermione seems to settle for "well, at least he's just ignoring me and not actively being a dick to me."
* Allie's Snape impersonation continues to be a work in progress.
* Ron Bashing - he's not even having sex and he's still wiped out.
	+ Maybe they ran into "Plughorn" ~ Allie
* "Mr. Malfoy, stop blowing on Miss Granger and return to your seat." ~ Danny doing an impression of Allie doing an impression of Snape.
* "S.P.E.W. is so much more sexual in this context." ~ Danny
* First occurence of SEX HEX!
* Allie remains unconvinced that he was ever under the power of Amortentia.
* Long distance teasing feels a little "violatey".
* Allie brings things down by pointing out that Draco would be a Death Eater right now.
* "Straight D's this year" ~ Allie

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Likes the pairing, the aggression and the location (teacher's office)

Lyndsay: Up

* Took her down memory lane remembering the 20's boners of her past.

Danny: Down

* Slughorn as the couch ruined it for him. Sex on all furniture will be ruined for Danny now.