Episode 5: It's Old Man Withers!

In episode five of Death Saving Bros., "It's Old Man Withers!", the adventurers go on a journey to the mountain ranges east of Nashpara (although this is partially retconned later to Southsalt, which both would be true) in search of Wilhelmina's salt mines. Once close to the mountains, they approach a hilly terrain with a small caravan of carts outside a mine shaft, currently being loaded with salt. Debating on how to approach them, they agree to not murder-on-sight and simply come meet with them.

Part of the miners grab pickaxes and begin warily conversing with the team, before they reveal that they came from Wilhelmina. Relaxing, the miners urge the crew to help them load as fast as possible, worried of the local orc raiders being nearby. After Dungeon Master Paul says that those who help load the salt will need to drop their weapons, they begin mildly revolting before they decide to have the Hammerbottom Brothers unload while Revan Dawntreader and Dosh Johnson watch. Small locker room hazing occurs with rock tossing.

The miners continue to pressure the group to load the salt even faster, saying that they've been raided by the orcs five out of the past seven days. By this point the entire group has made numerous explicit jokes focused around salt and loads. Suddenly, Dosh and Revan hear the rustling of armor as three hulking figures come charging from over the hilltops. The party rolls for initiative!

Brixeus and Ambienitus drop their salty loads and join the fight as the miners duck behind the carts. Ambienitus tries to deduce the truth about these raiders by using his dark vision in broad daylight, to no avail; this becomes a running gag to the point that there's official Death Saving Bros merchandise about it. Upon getting closer, the Hammerbottom Brothers notice that these orcs look *weird*. Despite the fact they are wearing orcish armor and appear substantially larger, something is off.

After being scolded by Brixeus for their cowardice, one of the miners, a dwarf, takes his pickaxe and joins the fight. The last hulking figure standing, gaining a sense of what is likely to happen soon, disengages and flees for their life. The Hammerbottom Brothers turn feral for murder and want to hunt the figure down. Dosh, also thirsty to vicious mockery something, begins to pursue his mark. Revan grabs a horse and- the players bust into laughter as Eric incorrectly sings lyrics from The Sign by Ace of Base. The new rendition "I Saw The Sky" is heard throughout the rest of the episode.

Hunting the faux orc with the attack antics of Elmer Fudd chasing Bugs Bunny, Dosh finally ends the fight by casting Sleep on the person just as they mount a horse and send it running. As the group converges on the sleeping beauty, the horse magically keeps the figure on it and takes off. Brixeus prepares his firebolt hand and hops on Revan's horse, where Looney Tunes now converges into Grand Theft Auto.

A long winded fight ensues as the players starts arguing about range and the Pythagorean theorem, much to the chagrin of Paul. As the party desperately tries to hunt the horse down, Paul begins giving it PETA provided super speed powers as it races out, never to be seen until the next episode.

The party realizes they have two dead bodies still to discover the identity. Dosh unveils the orc to be- gasp- Old Man Withers! In reality, the orc corpse is, in fact, human. Searching the body, Dosh finds the tattoo of a crow's head on the dead man's arm, confirming his allegiance. Peculiar enough, the tattoo doesn't appear to be permanent ink- as if it was planted there temporarily for some reason. To add to this, Revan also finds that the arrow that wounded himself in the fight is black with red fletching, just like the assassin's arrows in Wilhelmina's attempted assassination.

The dwarf miner, who says his name is Gruder, packs up the salt caravan with his crew and peaces out as the party ponders the true meaning behind these attacks.

>>Episode 6: In a Mine