Lechonk's Christmas Conundrum

Lechonk's Christmas Conundrum is a visual novel created, written and illustrated by Coby Mack. Despite being canon to the main books, it is not a main book in the series and is not sequential, as unlike the main books, it contains fully colored-drawing pages in the style of a children's book, despite not being a children's book. It has 16 pages.

## Characters (In order of appearance)

* Mario
* Quaxly Hughs
* Fuecoco Brenfeld
* Sprigatito McCarthney
* LeBron James
* Lechonk James
* Aeon LakeTown Duck
* Mutant hedgehog
* Colonel Sanders
* Santa Claus
* Pepopop
* Resoulect
* Dwarson
* Sapwing
* Moltusc
* Tioflote
* Skalf
* Swolax
* Ending Wooper (implied to be off-screen)

## Story

Mario Party Mayhem now has some exciting new downloadable content that includes 5 new boards, 50 new minigames, a new game mode and the ability to play as a new character: Nabbit! Be sure to get the new DLC for Mario Party Mayhem in stores today, as the Nintendo Switch Ultra eShop is currently undergoing maintenance during the Christmas season.

“Finally, we get some DLC for Mario Party.” Quaxly states excitedly. Fuecoco agrees. “This will be the best DLC since we got Pokémon Platinum!” “I wouldn’t consider that DLC as much as I would consider it a sequel.” Meanwhile, Sprigatito has her body slumped against the bottom of the sofa, equally as eager to get her hands on the DLC as the other two, as she uses one hand to type away a url into her laptop’s search engine.

“Behold!” Sprigatito jumps into a upright but still scuffed posture and yells “Welcome to Santa’s Online (work)Shop! The sixth best site to ever grace the internet!” “But how does it work?” Fuecoc asks. “The idea is simple. This website lets us ask Santa Claus for anything we want for Christmas and on Christmas morning, we’ll get it for absolutely free! The free part is the best part.”

Fuecoco gets excited, but also tired. “If we want Santa to come to our house, we best go to sleep.” He yawns. “You’re right, we should get some shut eye so we can get a visit from Kris Kringle” Quaxly replies while holding his Ryan Reynolds dakimakura. Sprigatito then proceeds to say “Welp, goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the fourth dimensional alien space parasites bite.” Very casual. Still oddly concerning.

It’s been a long Christmas party at Nintendo Headquarters. Lechonk has been vibing for hours on end and is ready to collapse into slumber. But first, he stops by the house of the starters for one simple reason. “Guys. Guys.” Lechonk mumbles as he knocks quietly on the front door “I forgot my vacuum cleaner here.” Lechonk then opens the door which wasn’t even locked, much to their landlord’s dismay.

“No way!” Lechonk gasps as his search for his vacuum cleaner is interrupted. “They ordered the Mario Party DLC for Christmas and it hasn’t arrived yet!” “Santa Claus should have already visited Place, Japan by now. Could he have forgotten to visit this house?” Lechonk wonders “Maybe, if he didn’t…

I might have to do it myself.” Lechonk darts off, discarding his cheap Santa hat headband in favor of a hi-tech Santa hat similar to the necktie he normally wears, while a white beard sprouts from his face. “Aeon LakeTown, here I goddamn come! Ho Ho Ho!” He continues, determined and running a near mach speed.

There it is! Aeon LakeTown! The largest shopping mall in all of Japan! Complete with the random duck that just so happens to be outside! Lechonk is ecstatic to see this place after digging through train tunnels for ten minutes. “That’s the place!” Lechonk shouts. “If I’m going to find the DLC, it will be in this here mall! Time to Ninten-do what Santa didn’t!”

After searching through the various floors of clothes, goods and the empty throne of Aeon LakeTown’s mall santa, Lechonk finds the holy grail of new, old, fresh and preowned games, electronics and merchandise. GameSpot! And through it’s opening that miraculously stays open all day and night, Lechonk sees it. Glowing. Shining. It’s a physical copy of the Mario Party Mayhem DLC. “Bingo!” Lechonk whispers.

Lechonk approaches the game, but before he could get too close, a tall man in a white suit grabs the game for himself. “Colonel Sanders?” Lechonk questions. “I thought you died in the 70’s.” He gets a reply. “The 80’s, actually, but does the spud-spangled spirit of KFC truly die? It’s even Krissitymas for crying out loud.” “What are you doing with the DLC for Mario Party Mayhem? My friends wanted that for Christmas.” Lechonk continues. Sanders elaborates with “Because, fine swine, remember my foray into the wondering wonder world of console gaming, I need to see what makes a real game tick.”

Lechonk gets closer to Sanders, but Sanders is willing to begin fighting, unsheathing his sword that has been imbued with the power of the eleven herbs and spices. Lechonk is just as eager to battle. “You darn diddly asked for this, get ready for my finger lickin’ fury!” Sanders tells Lechonk as he swings his sword at him. Lechonk dodges with a well-timed dig. Lechonk springs out of the ground to deliver a headbutt, sensing a critical hit.

At the same time, Lechonk also goes for a tackle, as if he’s somehow using two moves at once. Sanders desperately tries to strike Lechonk, but he’s just too nimble, despite his base 35 speed. Before Sanders gets hit, he decides to call an old friend, another jolly man with white facial hair. “Santy Claus!” Sanders calls out. “I’m fighting that Nintendo guy, the there CEO over the Mario Party DLC! I might need help?”

“Ho ho ho!” Santa responds. “Colonel Sanders how’s it been? How’s your fried chicken business? Wait. are you fighting Lechonk James over a video game’s DLC? Don’t get yourself worked up.” “He needs it for his friends, apparapparently” Sanders continues, but Lechonk interrupts with “Hello, Mr. Claus. I see you’ve forgotten to visit the household of Sprigatito McCarthney, Fuecoco Brenfeld, and Quaxly Hughs. They’ve ordered the DLC for Mario Party Mayhem on Santa’s Online (work)Shop and it hasn’t arrived. Could you explain?” Santa answers. “I’m aware of those three, but I just don’t care for delivering presents to them, especially since smoking weed doesn’t secure you a spot on the nice list. Besides, Santa’s Online (work)Shop barely even works, and I’m in India right now and it’s too late to go back to revisit Japan anyway.”

“Well, Lechonk James” Sanders huffs. “I think you’ve bested my immortal yet fragile body. You must have a lot more PP than me.” Lechonk states “I think you could have phrased that sentence a little better.” “I’ll let you have this DLC, or shall I say I say let your friends have it.” Sanders pants. “Now, if you excuse me, I have to skiddlyskedaddle to my ice coffin in Kentucky, so I can enter cryosleep and dededefrost next December. Maybe then I will have better luck with obtaining video games.”

Sprigatito, Fuecoco and Quaxly wake up and wonder what happened to the presents underneath their Christmas tree. “No presents? How could Santa have done this?” asks Sprigatito. “Was their something wrong with the site?” Quaxly questions. “Maybe it was the wind?” Fuecoco wonders. But just then, the door opens, revealing Lechonk in his Santa Claus attire. “¡Feliz Navital!” He ho-ho-hos. “Have I got the DLC for you. Just for you. With all the new boards and minigames and guess what? Nabbit’s back too. Let’s play it together to celebrate! This time I’ll play as Santa Claus, who always delivers the right gifts to the right people.”

Meanwhile, in the summery land of Trobice, Dounda. A beach Christmas party is held by some confused celebrators. “What the fuck is this doing under the Christmas Exeggutor?’ yells Sapwing? “Maybe the Christmas bilby was a little confused this year, not knowing we got to play the DLC early.” Moltusc answers. “But what do I know, I’m immune to heat stroke confusion.” “I don’t think we should question it.” Tioflote adds. “Christmas is all about spending good times with friends and family, we should be putting our cares aside. Now let’s watch some movies about insects.”

The end.

## Trivia

* The story is (obviously) set in December 2025.
* In the background of page 10, you can see three video games on the shelves. Smurf Cat, \*, and Suika Game 2. These are all references to video games the author mude using an AI image genrator.

* This is the first piece of Lechonk Against media not to feature Josh Barshuckle.