Open Water

The party sets sail from Port Nyanzaru to Thay. Along the way, they make a pit stop on Treasure Island.

## Major Plot Points

* The Acquaintances With Weapons attended a feast hosted by Queen Maxima to celebrate the defeat of the Merchant Princes. Ashaara, Princess Diana, Roork, Lady Syndra Silvane, and the queen’s new archmage, Dorian Starflower, were also in attendance.
* At the feast, Queen Maxima introduced AWW to the new captain and first mate of the Blowhole - Captain Salty Twat, a swashbuckling Tabaxi, and Richard, AKA Wet Dick, a water genasi.
* Captain Salty Twat is the Tabaxi’s third life after nearly dying from getting hit by a horse and buggy. A witch helped save pur and made Twat’s knotted wooden stick into a peg leg.
* Since AWW defeated the Merchant Princes, the party’s eggs hatched. The group is now the proud parents of an owl bear chick and silver dragon wyrmling.
* Since Thay sent red wizards to exploit the Death Curse, kidnapped Neuriel, enslaved Sudsy, and allied with the Merchant Princes, Queen Maxima said it was time Emperor Szass Tam answered for his crimes. She tasked AWW to assassinate the emperor, liberate Thay in her name, and find a way to eliminate the dead in Chult’s jungles through Thay’s necromantic expertise.
* In exchange for this service, Queen Maxima will name AWW party members the lord and lady of any stronghold in either country of their choice.
* The party set sail the next morning. On their journey to Faerun, they were ambushed by the pirate Captain Flint. Calypso, Voloth, Vulveeta, and Salty Twat took to their respective ballistas and catapults to defend the ship. Wet Dick summoned a raging whirlpool. Together, they successfully sunk the ship.
* Salty Twat and Wet Dick admitted they used to work for Captain Flint until they ran off with a map to Davey Bones’ treasure. Davey Bones was a notorious pirate who disappeared ten years ago. It’s thought his secret treasure hoard is one of the largest in the world.
* Calypso, wanting to impress Wet Dick with her nautical knowledge, suggested the party go to Treasure Island and find Davey Bones’ treasure.
* The small island was home to a single two-story structure. Our heroes docked towards the back so they could sneak in.
* Wet Dick noticed that there were several footsteps and drag marks leading away from the fortress and into the sea.
* Using his psychometry, Voloth discovered that dead humanoids were dragged into the sea by malformed humanoids that were misshapen or missing limbs.
* Vulveeta used her scouting skills to discern there were about a dozen people here within the last 24 hours.
* AWW snuck into the grounds of the building through a crack in the wall surrounding it. They found themselves in an orchard where Voloth bit into an apple to learn more about them. He discovered they were delicious. Vulveeta swiped some more for herself. Calypso left behind a few gold coins for the orchard’s owner.
* Vulveeta snuck into the back door that led to a barracks/meditation/yoga studio. She found three old women with green skin scavenging the goods. Salty Twat tried to speak with them but they attacked. Voloth killed two of them and Vulveeta killed the other.
* They left this room and entered the main hall. There were four doors, a staircase, a basin filled with dirty water, and a broken wooden frame. The floor was covered in blood. Salty Twat tasted it to apparently discover the blood belonged to many people. Chaotic, bloody footsteps wandered around the scene but were impossible to follow.
* The group went into the library where Vulveeta discovered four spell scrolls (Gust of Wind, Speak with Animals, Speak with Plants, and Control Water). The books in the library all related to the ocean, marine life, weather patterns, and the sea god Procan.
* AWW investigated the adjourning dining hall and discovered its wooden table and benches seemed to be sawed and broken down in a meaningful way. The ground began to shake and a loud growl roared throughout the island. Then everything returned to normal.
* Our heroes then went into the kitchen where Vulveeta discovered a flask of Oil of Slipperiness. Inside the larder, the party found sausages nailed to the walls and full potato sacks on the floor. Voloth cut a piece of sausage to feed his owl bear chick, but he discovered the sausages were actually penises. Wet Dick cut open the potato sacks and a bunch of testicles rolled out.
* The party discovered that the dining hall furniture was used to barricade the main door to the building. Upon opening it, they found a bloody mess in the foyer.
* They soon headed upstairs where they found a scriptorium. Salty Twat examined a silver vase on the ground and unwittingly summoned a water elemental. After defeating it, Salty discovered a secret door.
* This door led to the basement where Kermit the Hermit was hiding with two very sick and injured clerics. Kermit explained that zombies rose out of the sea and attacked the monastery. The people in this building are clerics of Pocran. This was once one of their annexes, however, their citadel lost contact with the order here a decade ago. When they came to investigate, the island was abandoned and there were signs of a large storm. The order decided to resettle and their group arrived a fortnight ago. They also asked about a fourth survivor named Aaron who went up to the tower to get help but never returned. The party said they hadn’t seen him.
* Kermit’s two young priests vomited salt water and their skin turned blue. The zombies somehow infected them with a poison with their attacks. Vulveeta insulted them so they threw their buckets of salt water bile at her. Voloth and Wet Dick helped heal them.
* The ground trembled and a loud, deep growl overcame the island. The religious order didn’t know what’s been causing it. One of the young priests farted during this hoping it’d cover it. However, she farted for too long so it was obvious what she did. Wet Dick then confessed to farting after seeing her embarrassment. Calypso admitted to farting, thinking everyone in the group would too but no one else did.
* Kermit the Hermit shared that he was able to pull a parchment off of one of the zombies. It was a map that showed battle plans to attack the Faerunian and Chultan coastlines using this island as a stronghold. The map bore Davey Bones’ sigil. Kermit said that he could divine the location of the zombies if AWW would go there to destroy them.