Jane Smith (book chapter)

*If you were looking for the actual character, see Dr. Jane Payne*

Illustrated by Tim Heitz

"**Jane Smith**" is the twenty-second chapter of *Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger*.

## Synopsis

Mrs. Drazil tracks down one of her most troublesome students.

## Plot

This chapter opens with Jason telling Stephen he has found Jane Smith, and Stephen tells him that they should tell Deedee. They run across the blacktop, but have to go back and walk per Mr. Louis's orders. As they walk past Deedee, who has been benched for making too much noise, they tell her they have found Jane Smith. When Jason and Deedee enter Mrs. Jewls's class, they stop in front of Mrs. Drazil and talk about his dentist appointment, specifically pointing out the name and address of Dr. Jane Payne's office so they can make Mrs. Drazil aware of Jane Smith's whereabouts, occupation, and name change. Then they proceed to take their seats.

Later that day, Dr. Jane Payne finishes work and prepares to drive home. It is revealed that she performed unnecessary dental procedures to make additional money that day; she drilled twenty-five teeth, at $60 each, to make $1,500, but not all of the teeth had cavities. However, none of her patients know that. She gets into her silver and black sports car and drives home, singing along to the radio, not noticing the beat-up green station wagon behind her. She presses a button to open up a gate, and drives inside, closing the gate. The station wagon stops by the gate, and the woman driving it walks up to the trunk and pulls out a ladder, which she proceeds to place against the wall. Under her arm is a blue notebook.

Jane walks into her mansion and gets a drink from her butler while the cook was already making dinner. She greets her pet dog, Brussels, her pet cat, Sprouts, and her husband, Sham. She tells him she made $1500, and they proceed to hug and kiss. While they love each other, they love money even more. Jane and Sham Payne eat dinner on the deck, watching the sunset, and then proceed to rest on the deck watching the stars, when they hear word from the butler that there's an elderly woman in the yard. Jane seems to know exactly who this mysterious woman is and shouts to get rid of her, but Sham decides to get a closer look with the butler. Soon after, Sham comes back outside and, unaware of their relationship, happily tells Jane that one of her former teachers has come to visit. Jane screams in terror and jumps off the deck, refusing to deal with Mrs. Drazil again, while kicking her pets out of the way in the process. Mrs. Drazil runs up to the side, intent on forcing Jane to do all the homework she missed years ago. Jane, who's injured her ankle after jumping onto the hard concrete, tells her to rub a monkey's tummy. She limps to her boathouse, grabbing a suitcase she had prepared in case of this event, and limps down to the lake, where she has a motorboat waiting for her. As she leaves, Sham tells her to come back but to no avail. Mrs. Drazil runs down the stairs of the mansion and follows, grabbing an old rowboat to chase Jane down. As she pursues her former student, Mrs. Drazil tells Jane Smith she can run, but she can't hide, while Dr. Jane Payne (née Smith) tells her to rub a monkey's tummy with her head once more. As far the book has it, the two are neither seen nor heard from again.

## Characters

* Dr. Jane Payne (final appearance)
* Jason
* Stephen
* Deedee
* Louis
	+ Mr. Louis (final appearance)
* Mrs. Drazil (final appearance)
* Sham Payne (only appearance)
* Jane Payne's butler (only appearance)
* Jane Payne's cook (only appearance)

## Trivia

* This is the final appearance of Dr. Jane Payne and Mrs. Drazil. Louis also drops the Mr. Louis persona after this chapter.
* The episode "Oh, Brother" could be loosely based off this chapter.
* It is stated in this chapter that Jane performs unnecessary dental procedures to make additional money; she drills 25 teeth, at $60 each, to make $1,500, but not all of the teeth had cavities. It was only stated for that one day but due to her personality she most likely did this a lot.
* The names of Dr. Payne's pets are a pun on brussels sprouts.
* Although never directly referred to as Sham Payne, the name of Dr. Payne's husband is a pun on champagne.
* The part when Jane says "You idiot!" to her husband is cut in some versions.
* Before she disappeared with Jane, Mrs. Drazil said, "You can run, but you can’t hide!" to her. Those are the same words she said to Mrs. Jewls's class in her debut chapter.

## Gallery

Joel Schick illustrationAdam McCauley illustrationPeter Allen illustrationPeter Allen second illustration