179: Little Deer Lips

## Summary

The party set off at dawn and after a few hours of bushwhacking upriver, some tracks lead them to the entrance to the lizardfolk lair. Will *Polymorph*s himself into a red-winged blackbird and scouts the area for an alternative entrance, spotting just in time a hunting party of lizardfolk carrying a live deer, heading right for the rest of the group. An ambush is successfully executed, the deer is freed and the party prepares to enter the lair.

## Synopsis

The group travel upriver, and at around mid morning Brom spots some lizardfolk tracks in the mud. Raphina makes a rubbing of it for reference. Will feels a little out of his depth here, and asks Brom what the plan is. He's not sure, being more of a fisherman. Dew says *"Well, we first have to find them. Then we have to scout."* Raphina: *"And then we need the bait."* Dew is nominated to lead the way from here, as the tracking expert in the group.

Dew finds it fairly easy to follow the footsteps in the mud; the lizardfolk seem heavy and have left deep footprints. Where it's drier he finds other clues like broken sticks. Will watches him work with fascination. At one point he finds some lizardfolk droppings and the group lament the fact that Nick is no longer with them *"to make him lick it or anything."* They proceed as quietly as possible. Sneaking along, Batthwack's armour starts squeaking again and Will *Prestidigitates* it clean. They continue on this way for around 45 minutes. Hyper aware of everything, Will is the first to hear splashing ahead of them somewhere. Dew hears it too: the sound of creatures moving through water.

They follow the sound away from the tracks and reach the riverbank. The river here is about 60 feet wide, running through a wooded area with a few little clearings. The topography is wild and varied, with no real sign of civilization. There are squirrels, lots of different types of birds, and they catch a glimpse of a deer at one point. The splashing sound is coming from a little way up the river on the other side, where two lizardfolk carrying spears and shields are standing in knee high water near the other shore. One of the them jumps up, dives into the shallow water and disappears. The other follows and does the same thing. Raphina suspects this is the entrance to their lair and they wonder how to get in without being able to breathe underwater. Dew says *"I would hope that the Rainbow Trout would have properly equipped us if that was necessary"* They're reminded that Raphina carries a *Ring of Swimming*.

While they're debating what to do, there's a big splash and shooting up out of the water comes a lizardfolk, followed closely by two more, all carrying spears and shields. They jump out of the river, climb the bank and immediately march into the trees on the other side. Raphina throws on her *Cloak of Elvenkind*. They decide to go back and continue following the tracks they found, Will carefully marking a nearby tree with a chalk X so they can find this spot again. After walking a short way, they discover that the tracks lead round to pretty much the point on the river opposite where they saw the lizardfolk disappear into the water.

Will offers to scout the area disguised as the local wildlife. Feeling a little self-conscious having never tried this before, he goes behind a tree to cast *Polymorph* on himself and changes into a red-winged blackbird. He's reminded of Bernard again, and how weird it must have been for him, before telling himself to stop thinking about it, and flies off. He quickly identifies the group of three lizardfolk seen earlier on the other side of the river, heading off with purpose, reminding him of lawmen patrols they had in Tivoli. He can't make out any other entrances or exits for a lair, but he does spy another group of three lizardfolk, equipped the same as the others, but these ones are on the party's side of the river. They appear to be a hunting party; they're carrying a live deer that they've caught and trussed up. The deer is calling out in distress.

Will returns and transforms back into human form. He warns the group of the hunting party approaching, but to his dismay Dew and Raphina only want to go closer, being concerned about the deer. Will sends Brom to hide behind a tree for safety, fearing that conflict is imminent, and then humblebrags about it to Batthwack, but the dragonborn is preoccupied enjoying all this nature and thinking about improvements he could make to their tavern, for example, skylights!

Dew and Raphina creep up on the lizardfolk and manage to avoid being spotted. Two lizardfolk are carrying the deer and the other is leading in front, clearing the way for them. The cause of the deer's sounds of distress become apparent; one or two of its legs are broken. They whisper to each other, coordinating their actions. Dew casts *Fire Arrows* and draws his bow, aiming at the lead lizardfolk. Simultaneously, Raphina casts *Healing Word*, mending the deer's legs, and Dew's flaming shot pierces right above the lizardfolk's sternum, exploding its head.

Will and Batthwack join the fray. Will blasts one of the lizardfolk with *Eldritch Blasts*, causing them to drop the deer, but he's not dead. Raphina casts *Light* on the deer, causing much confusion and the 2nd lizardfolk bolts into the forest. Raphina punches him on the way past and Dew shoots after him but he misses, blinded by the glowing deer. He gives chase. Batthwack *Commands* the injured lizardfolk to surrender, but they resist and try to make their escape. Batthwack runs them through with his longsword, killing them.

Will growls angrily; he'd wanted Batthwack to tackle the other one making their escape. He runs after him and hits him with a couple of *Eldritch Blasts*. Raphina turns and fires off an arrow from her crossbow, but misses. She turns her attention to tending to the deer and begins untying its legs. The lizardfolk is sprinting away from them and just as he reaches the river, Dew takes careful aim and unleashes another fire arrow, which strikes the lizardfolk in the back. He collapses down into the river, dead. Dew retrieves the body and moves it out of sight.

Raphina casts *Speak With Animals*, and converses with the deer to check it's ok. To the rest of the group this all sounds like grunting and barking. She learns that the lizardfolk sometimes catch the deer and take them down into the waterhole. The deer doesn't know of any other entrances and there doesn't seem to be much else to learn from it. Will is concerned that if this is the only entrance, how do they enter without drowning. They wonder about sending Skeleton Cat or Captain Clockface. It turns out that the latter floats, so Raphina sends the cat to investigate. She ties her heavy money to her and the sight of the Skeleton Cat bounding into the river reminds Dew to check on the rabbit hides he'd been preparing for her.

A few minutes pass and then the cat returns. Raphina casts *Speak with Animals* again, but it seems that she cannot make sound, being only skeletal. The group ask yes/no questions and ascertain that there's a passage with breathable air which is accessed under the water. They also learn that Skeleton Cat is indeed the one and only Pippa!

Batthwack is a little concerned about going underwater in his chainmail, but while he's thinking this, Raphina decides he should be the first to go and gives him a shove in the direction of the river. They wonder whether it's safe to bring Brom. Dew asks him if he's got any combat experience, and Batthwack, having guessed the answer, asks if he has any family. Brom reminds them that his mother is away in Carnivar and Robin back at the village is *"kind of my girlfriend"*, otherwise he doesn't. He explains that the Rainbow Trout asked him to come and that if he did he would discover his true self.

Will casts *Disguise Self* to make himself look like a lizardfolk, and they wade into the water and one by one dive down and through the underwater passage.

## Trivia

* The episode title is a quote from Eric. Raphina started communing with the deer they helped rescue from the lizardfolk hunters. Abby/Raphina: *"Do you ever go to the water to drink?"* Eric/Deer: *"Oh, of course I do. That's one of my favourite things to do with my little deer lips."* Greg: *"Deer, what do you think of these pants? These pants that I'm wearing"*
* The dialogue that inspired the episode title was a reference to *My Cousin Vinny*: https://youtu.be/Da7GSy-6mJY

## References

1. ↑ Raphina's *Ring of Swimming* was actually stolen by Ricardo Ulysses. See episode 168: My Eyeball Is Registered With the FAA