Alternate Ships

A Very Long shipping manifesto of many non-canon ships.

* ~~Lizzie/Sasha~~, ~~Lizzie/Mia~~, ~~Lizzie/Blair~~, ~~Carson/Mia~~, ~~Carson/Blair~~

* ~~Sasha/Mia~~, ~~Sasha/Blair~~, Mia/Blair (all as duos, not part of the ot3)

## Lizzie/Sasha

Lizzie is very taken with Sasha when she first meets her. Sasha is pretty and energetic and bright and expressive, Lizzie finds it hard not to be drawn in by her. But similar to how she feels about Carson, Lizzie's very shy and her inferiority complex makes it difficult to hold conversations with Sasha. Over time, she starts responding to Sasha's friendliness with her own brightness, like when Sasha is interested about her crafting. Lizzie lights up and goes on and on about techniques and colors and patterns, and Sasha is so awed by how this small, shy person is so dazzling and vibrant in her own way.

On Sasha's side, she initially thinks Lizzie's adorable and sweet, but a bit standoffish. She doesn't initially think Lizzie is interested in being friends. She also thinks that Lizzie would run at the drop of a hat if Sasha ever had feelings for her (because Sasha always thinks she's too much for people), but in that sense she underestimates Lizzie's determinator attitude.

The most overwhelming moment is when Lizzie recognizes that she really, *really* likes Sasha, and because Sasha won't step forward about her feelings (because she's scared of scaring Lizzie away), she decides to take matters into her own hands. At this point, Lizzie knows Sasha likes her and Sasha knows Lizzie likes her, so they could at least give it a try? Lizzie's not going to run away, and she desperately doesn't want Sasha to run away, so please, please, just give her a chance? Sasha is utterly floored and amazed.

...

Sasha is very affectionate. Lizzie is always startled when Sasha comes in for the hugs. Most of the time, it's Lizzie being very confused and flustered, and Sasha being very smug and teasing.

"i think the reason i don't talk much about it is i have a lot of difficulty on figuring out how it would come about... they're very cute together but they also both deeply love Carson.... but the idea of Sasha having a crush on Lizzie has always endeared me,,, like an excitable chatty bird falling in love with a fuzzy mouse"

Sasha has a crush on all her girl friends, which includes Lizzie, even in the first book. She's horribly charmed by her, thinks her sweet and adorable. She does get a little insecure at times, because Lizzie's a "good girl" and Sasha is, in her mind, most decidedly not. Lizzie, however, resents the expectation of being a "good girl," especially from her family. It always felt like punishment, like she has to push down every negative feeling. That's one thing Sasha is very adamant about, that Lizzie is allowed to feel things strongly, to be loud, to express herself with vehemence.

While Carson is more of a silent supporter for Lizzie, Sasha is more vocal about getting Lizzie to be upfront about her wants and needs, and telling her that it's ok to say "fuck your family" once in a while. That's something Lizzie and Sasha connect to that Carson can't. Sasha knows what it's like to be patronized, and once she realizes Lizzie hates being the "good girl," she's adamant about coaxing Lizzie to let loose, to screw propriety and have fun now and then.

One of the ways she does this is taking Lizzie out dancing. It doesn't really work out for her, because Lizzie hates dancing in public. So, it becomes a private thing for them, with Sasha just trying to get Lizzie to be more comfortable with her body. She gives Lizzie salsa lessons! But Sasha realizes Lizzie is more comfortable with slow dancing. (Though when she finds out Lizzie knows how to square dance, she tries desperately to get Lizzie to show her a dance... to no avail. Lizzie is too mortified about how hard her aunt pressed her to learn square dancing--never ever will any audience see that.)

Lizzie is shy and quiet, and often flustered around Sasha. She feels that Sasha is a vibrant and noticeable person, and that she herself is not. Sasha, on the other hand, worries she's a bad influence on Lizzie. She also picks up on the fact that she makes Lizzie nervous. Sasha can be really talkative and energetic, and at times it just puts Lizzie on edge. Lizzie has always had a hard time being comfortable around people like that; all the energy gives her sensory overload. Sasha notices and she always unfortunately gets uncomfortable herself; she doesn't like making Lizzie nervous. This is something they have to talk about to try and navigate it. But while Sasha is open to talking, Lizzie doesn't like confronting her anxiety, so this is a source of conflict.

The first time they talk about it, it does not go well because they don't know each other's "languages" yet. Sasha is good at reading Lizzie's body language. However, while she's used to having quiet friends, it's different from having a friend that is "mousey." She takes Lizzie aside and lays it down that if she's making Lizzie uncomfortable, she should say so, but through this conversation Sasha realizes that Lizzie's not used to asking about her needs and wants. So, Sasha takes it upon herself to help build Lizzie's confidence, and and that's how their relationship starts!

Sasha comes up with the idea that they should go out on "dates," where one day Lizzie and Sasha do something Lizzie does and another day Sasha takes Lizzie out in public. While Sasha had a strong feeling that Carson and she had mutual feelings for each other, she's pretty oblivious about Lizzie's growing attraction. Mostly, it's because not only is Lizzie bad about conveying her wants and needs, she's bad at conveying her attraction too. She's painfully shy and even when she's attracted to someone, it doesn't change her behavior much. All of her attraction is in her head (by way of internally screaming when her crush is near).

Lizzie tried the whole "show her affection thing"... She brought Sasha cookies! knitted her a beanie! kissed her cheek! asked her if they could "hang out," asked her if she wanted to hang out at Lizzie's place, asked her to go the movies...
Sasha's all,
"oh hey she wants to hang we do that all the time"
"hey is it weird if she kisses me a lot Carson? like on the cheek?"
"what about on the lips"
"we cuddle a lot in her bed these days"
"we share milkshakes"
"sometimes she holds my hand?"
"what do you mean that's gay, Carson"

"why does she get it when it's Carson and not when it's Lizzie," is what Carson almost wants to say!!!! (Presuming Carson isn't inherently crushed by her two crushes dating each other, she finds them utterly precious.) Ethan has to bite his tongue from saying "you were 99% sure Carson liked you but you couldn't notice Lizzie mooning over you for 3 months?!" Everyone can see it except Sasha.

Sasha honestly doesn’t think someone like Lizzie could ever like her. Lizzie is sweet and soft and nurturing, and kind of really innocent and naive in some ways. Sasha doesn’t usually attract people like that. Carson is similar, and that’s where Sasha’s insecurity about Carson not liking her back comes from. Though, Carson doesn't have the same "naïveté" that Lizzie has. While Carson is caring and easygoing, there’s a steeliness to her that Lizzie doesn’t have. For one thing, Sasha knows Carson has contemplated suicide before--dark stuff that makes people nervous or shocked to know Carson has thought of things like that. Sasha doesn't see the kinds of really hard dark spots in her personality in Lizzie that she can in Carson.

Part of their relationship deepening involves Sasha coming to realize that her perceptions aren’t completely on base this time. But it’s also about Lizzie realizing that she *does* have some really negative feelings that are buried way deep down, like her resentment toward her mother and her anger toward her aunt, and all of her grief that she’s never been able to let go of for her father. Sasha starts noticing it when she notices the pattern of “Lizzie’s aunt called her and now Lizzie is Very Upset and Moody.”

(Lizzie does not at all like her naggy, overbearing, overly critical white Republican Christian aunt, who constantly criticized Lizzie growing up and pushed her to be more “vocal and social” but also a “good girl”. Sasha’s parents are not Republican but also not that liberal--they do not like their gay daughter. She’s fine with it, she doesn’t like them either. They’re always fighting with each other and the house is never quiet. In contrast, Lizzie’s aunt’s house was always quiet.)

Lizzie really likes that Sasha is helping her, but she also recognizes that Sasha sometimes coddles her, and she doesn't want that. She doesn't want Sasha to *take care* of her, she wants Sasha to be her friend. While she does try to get Lizzie to go out, she tries to sanitize herself, so to speak. She tries hard to avoid talking about clubs and bars and sleaze (any place with a sexually-charged atmosphere), even though for Sasha those things are a big part of her background. Lizzie can see that, and she feels like Sasha treats her as if she's innocent and pure. That's true to some extent, but it's not up to Sasha what aspects of the world that Lizzie does and doesn't want to interact with. She can tell Sasha tries to "clean herself up," and part of that is that Sasha keeps herself at arm's length so as not to "dirty" Lizzie and Lizzie doesn't really like that.

Lizzie confronts Sasha about it one day. She knows Sasha is hiding something from her (she doesn't know that Sasha's an addict), and she asks Sasha what she thinks about her, if she's this innocent creature that must be protected. It's the first time Lizzie actually gets angry with Sasha, she's bitter because she can feel like Sasha is holding her at arm's length and never lets Lizzie help *her*. Sasha is gobsmacked: "wow she's... angry? wow she's REALLY angry. and now she's crying oH SHIT"

This conversation leads up to Lizzie's confession. Lizzie basically accuses Sasha of not treating her like a person and that, while with good intentions, she's doing the same thing that her family has done to her. She doesn't *want* to be coddled, she wants to be independent, whole
she wants Sasha to see her as a person, and if Sasha doesn't see her this way... well, how could Lizzie ever have a chance of being Sasha's girlfriend?

Sasha is floored... "holy crap she likes me. holy crap i hurt her feelings. holy crap sHE LIKES ME???" After she manages to put her brain back together, she questions Lizzie back: how does Lizzie even know she really likes her? If Lizzie knew everything about her then she wouldn’t like her, and Lizzie can’t like her because she’s not a good influence on her life, she’s not a good person, she wouldn’t be good for her, and Lizzie deserves better. Lizzie shuts her up by saying she’s the one who gets to decide who she wants, then she kisses Sasha.

## Lizzie/Mia

aka "The Swan and the Sparrow"

To outsiders, the relationship looks like a small, unassuming sparrow being overshadowed by a graceful swan. Mia's so elegant and beautiful, and initially Lizzie feels inferior, but she learns that Mia likes her for a reason. Between the two, Lizzie is the one who is bolder about expressing her feelings. Mia keeps everything all bottled up under a tight lid of perfectionism and anxiety. But Lizzie, like her craftswork, is a bit messy, a bit unraveled, with her depression sending her all out of sorts sometimes, but with a determination to keep moving forward to a better and happier place. Carson grounds Lizzie, but in this relationship, Lizzie grounds Mia.

Mia is awed by how someone who seems so shy, cautious, and withdrawn can actually be so brave and resilient. She admires those qualities and she admires that Lizzie can ride out the bumps on life's road, the twists and turns with her eyes set resolutely forward. It gives Mia courage, the realization that she doesn't have to bottle everything up to be able to walk forward. It's ok for life to be a little messy.

## Carson/Mia

Carson would admire Mia's intelligence and gentleness. Mia fals for Carson first... She is attracted to Carson's steadiness, a tranquility she has rarely found in her own life and never found in herself. Carson helps Mia feel centered, all her jumbled thoughts go quiet, she feels at peace... she finds she can actually enjoy herself around Carson because of this, for once not feeling so suffocated.

Blair feels horribly jealous about that...
Sasha does as well, but her jealousy is overridden by her self-doubt. she doesn't think she could ever give Carson that sense of tranquility to begin with, so there's no point in feeling jealousy to start with. she's just "not good enough"... Sasha feels all sorts of dismayed.

Carson is incredibly oblivious to when people have feelings about her, but even more so where it concerns Mia. it's a byproduct of Carson's own insecurities and the fact that Mia hides her feelings *very* well, so it takes them an especially long time to realize that their feelings are mutual. Carson has a lot of trouble thinking people genuinely like her, even admire or, or even respect her at all... she's outwardly steady but she has strong feelings about people's perceptions of her, a lot of anxiety and insecurities, a good chunk of which were brought on when she became sick. she doesn't see how someone like Mia, who is beautiful and smart and sweet, could ever like her, not the real her - the her that isn't strong or zen or cool, the her that is weak, chaotic, and shaky on the inside

Mia has similar concerns. what would Carson think of her if Mia peeled away the grace of her shell, if she was privy to Mia's panic attacks, to her constant worry, to the nights where she tosses and turns and can't sleep and asks endless questions of how the future will turn out, why the present is the way it is, why can't she change herself, why can't she be happy, why does she *want* things...

Carson and Mia would probably never feel comfortable dating each other knowing they'd make so many people sad...
i'm still pondering on how their relationship starts... i actually think Mia would need to take a leap of faith and be the first of the two to confess bc Carson would be too up in her own head to even think of telling Mia she likes her ("because there's no possible way she could like someone like me")

i like the idea of Mia coming to realize how strong her feelings are and actually allowing herself to think about Carson in that light, and to be brave enough to tell her... and when she finds out that Carson likes her back, it just makes Mia so giddy,,,

## Carson/Blair

They'd be the type of couple who really would need a push from other people to recognize that their feelings are mutual. On some level they'd recognize it, but mostly they don't think the other would never be interested.

They'd be a really tentative couple. They'd need to communicate a lot so as not to misunderstand each other, but they both struggle a lot to open up about their feelings. The amount of trust they'd have to invest is great, but the desire to make their relationship work would make it very committed and strong.

maybe it's their differences - that feeling of being an outsider, on the other side of the glass looking in... Blair doesn't fit in the group the way the rest do and Carson knows what that's like, to be on the outside watching everyone else be close, to have fun, enjoy life... so she reaches out her hand
i don't know what happens next,,, i think Blair is wary at first... Carson just seems to attract people easily to her somehow, everyone seems to think positively of her and Blair has always been wary of even remotely popular people (the memories of bullying still sting her too much).... but Carson is good at getting people to lean into her touch, somehow, eventually,,,

Carson would be the one to confess. and for all of Blair's snarky and silver-tongued nature, getting a confession from Carson, who is so serious Blair can't imagine she misheard her, makes her very... frightened because here is a person who *means* the words "i like you, i love you, i want to be with you" and that... is a first for Blair and it terrifies her

avoid Carson for a while, unfortunately,,, tries to get her thoughts in order... Blair has spent a long time feeling insignificant to those around her, it's difficult to believe Carson's words at first but she can't ignore how steady Carson's voice was, how earnest she seemed... it almost makes Blair want to believe
it takes her a short while! Carson gives her space, even tho Blair's initial avoidance does sting, bc she can see Blair is afraid. and admittedly Carson herself needs the space to sort thru her own fears, bc while Blair didn't outright *reject* her, she didn't give Carson an answer eitherhow does Blair get around to it... well Mia and Sasha eventually notice something's wrong between the two because Blair doesn't come to practice to watch Mia for a week and Sasha knows Carson's tells, knows when something big is bothering her bc Carson's zen breaks just that barest hint, a lost look in her eyes, her hands clenching and unclenching... Sasha knows when Carson's stressed
Mia eventually gets Blair to tell her about the confession, bc Blair really needs her best friend right now and Mia can see how torn up about it she is. and Sasha does the same for Carson (which kind of makes them both really sad bc old regrets...)
but the two of them convince Carson and Blair that they can't avoid each other forever. they just need to talk. and while talking is the scariest thing for Carson and Blair, not knowing is even worse
Carson and Blair eventually talk and while Carson can see that Blair is still hesitant, still guarded, Blair confesses too, and she wants to try. oh how she really wants to try and the way Carson *looks* at her, really looks like her, like Blair is more than a shadow, more than a blip in someone's life, makes Blair want to try

## Sasha/Mia

Sasha confesses because the last time she didn't confess to the person she loved, they slipped thru her fingers and she loves Mia so much, she doesn't want to experience that heartache again and even if it doesn't amount to anything, she can't *not* say anything. she can't go thru thinking about what would have, *could* have happened if she'd said something, if she'd have worked up the courage to say the words. and she tells herself that even if the answer is "i don't feel the same", at least it won't be tinged with the bitter regret of "what if"
Sasha probably realized she was in love with Mia when she saw her dance
Mia realizes she loves Sasha when she has a near breakdown from the stress of college, the stress of her family, the stress of all that she herself is and isn't, and it's Sasha holding up her, supporting her, telling her that she doesn't need to be someone she's not and that it's ok to be the person she *wants* to be, that she's amazing how she is

## Sasha/Blair

hmm i think it would take a while for Blair and Sasha to start having feelings for the other and to recognize those feelings - since, personality wise, they feel like night and day
i think that would be one of the hindrances to recognizing their feelings for each other too
i think those differences would be the type of thing that would draw them in tho, inevitably
Sasha starts liking how open and honest Blair is with her opinion, her point of view, her words. sometimes her words are cutting, but she starts learning Blair's tells, of how her sharp tongue is sometimes her way of showing she cares, that she's scared for the ppl she loves and sometimes her fear barbs her tongue
and Blair, at first Sasha's expressiveness bothers her because Sasha can be a bit too much sometimes... but overtime the way Sasha openly laughs, the smile on her face, the light in her eyes, it starts to make her feel giddy, makes her palms tingle with the itch to hold Sasha's hand, cheek, waist, hips... just to touch that vibrancy for once...
mhmm. Blair struggles a lot in even recognizing and labeling her emotions at times
but i like to think that Blair lets something slip, a small thing full of unhindered awe for once and it stuns both of them immediately and of course Blair gets scared of rejection but Sasha is *receptive* and how exciting is that to Blair, where her rapid heartbeat stops being from fear to one of hesitant excitement. i very much like the idea of Sasha saying something first too, i just need to figure it out

## Luke/Ethan

i like the idea of them attending a formal event, or perhaps a college dance... Ethan dresses up so nicely and Luke can't *not* notice how handsome he looks, the way butterflies are bouncing in his stomach and for all his usual chattering, he's particularly silent in that moment when he first sees Ethan in formal attire
i like to think Ethan starts realizing he likes Luke when he notices the way Luke looks at him, can't stop looking at him... when he realizes that Luke makes him feel beautiful and how much he wants to give the same to Luke,,,