CPU Kerfuffle 5

## Fighters

* Alabaster Uppercut: Ken, 7th place
* Donald & Goofy: Duck Hunt, 7th place
* Dan: Little Mac, 5th place
* Piss Yoshi: Yoshi, 5th place
* CBT Demon: Mr. Game & Watch, 4th place
* UPS Founder: Terry, 3rd place
* Yung Papaya: Lucas, 2nd place
* ICEE: Banjo & Kazooie, 1st place
* Hamburger Helper: Ridley, Reigning Champion

## Bracket

#### **UPS Founder v. Yung Papaya**

Game one goes to Brinstar, an interesting round one pick but the weird geometry should make for some fun interactions. UPS Founder seems to really like Power Dunk, since he takes stock one with it and continues to just spam it when possible. UPS Founder goes to high percents, but that just lets him take the next stock with a Buster Wolf. Yung Papaya is able to prevent the three stock with a side b. Keeping the momentum going, Yung Papaya takes another stock with a down smash to even the game up. UPS Founder is able to take the win with a down tilt into Burn Knuckle.

Game two goes to Smashville, and Yung Papaya has the download on UPS Founder. He opens woth a near zero-to-death, only getting hit twice before forward smashing UPS Founder out of the blast zone. UPS Founder fires back with another Burn Knuckle KO, only for Yung Papaya to come back and style all over his next stock. After nearly pineappling UPS Founder, thankfully he didn't because that would be against the brand, Yung Papaya drags him off stage with a down air to spike him and win the game.

Game three, like game one, is on a jank stage with Lylat being this round's pick. UPS Founder is the first to get on the board with a Buster Wolf, but gets taken out by a PK Fire when he goes for another. Yung Papaya is able to keep the momentum coming, taking a stock with a series of up bs into a down smash. UPS Founder tries to get some sort of comeback, landing a Buster Wolf for a stock, but Yung Papaya reads teh second one and wins set one with an up smash.

Winner: **Yung Papaya**

#### **CBT Demon vs. Donald & Goofy**

Game one goes to Umbra Clock Tower, with a dominating stock lead from Donald & Goofy (with Axel holding the gun). CBT Demon is able to come back, although not without taking a lot of damage. Donald & Goofy are able to use that damage to take another stock. CBT Demon, proving their immense experience, takes a stock to even the game out. Donald & Goofy cannot keep their momentum, and are unable to recover.

Game two goes to Reset Bomb Forest, where both fighters cannot seem to adjust to the odd stage. CBT Demon takes the first stock, but is taken out by Donald & Goofy soon afterwards. Both fighters keep playing slow on the new stage, neither able to do enough to take a stock until CBT Demon lands an up air chain into a lethal neutral air that is followed by a killer D&G forward smash. CBT Demon is able to keep the momentum up, and takes the set with a forward tilt.

Winner: **CBT Demon**

#### **Geek Squad Dan vs. Alabaster Uppercut**

Game one goes to Pokemon Stadium, with two of the best martial artists in CPU Kerfuffle. Dan is able to take the lead, after tanking Alabster's signature Alabaster Uppercut, with a KO punch uppercut of his own. Not to be shown up at his own game, Alabaster Uppercut lands his signature move to even it up. Continuing the uppercut train, Dan takes stock two with another KO punch. Alabaster breaks the cycle, taking a stock with a kick. Dan, insulted by the lack of uppercuts, wins game with a third uppercut.

Game two goes to Rainbow Cruise, a stage prime for uppercuts. The fighters trade blows, until Alabaster Uppercut lands the Alabaster Uppercut to take stock one. Despite taking the second stock, Alabaster Uppercut primes himself for a later defeat. He doesn't close a stock with an uppercut, an action that gets Geek Squad Dan angry and ready to go. Dan lands a down smash to take stock one, not even bothering with uppercuts, and Alabaster doesn't either because he takes game two with another kick.

Game three goes to a bright yellow Mementos, with a very upset Dan. Dan charges up the Floppy Disk Drive and KO punches directly through Alabaster Uppercut's shield to take stock one. Alabaster Uppercut, showing that his special technique can phase through things too, uppercuts Dan through the stage with his recovery. Dan, knowing he's got the match on lock, dash dances before landing a side b to take stock two. Alabaster Uppercut, content to finally use his namesake as a primary kill move, takes stock two with another Alabaster Uppercut. Dan, still insulted from earlier, ends the set with a forward smash directly to Alabaster's groin. Someone get Home MD, because he needs some medical assistance.

Winner: **Geek Squad Dan**

#### **Piss Yoshi vs. ICEE**

Game one goes to Pokemon Stadium, with both fighters pulling out some crazy reads. ICEE takes stock one with a side b, but Piss Yoshi lands and up smash to even it back up. ICEE is able to take another stock with his side b, before getting knocked out by his own egg and a Piss Yoshi forward smash. ICEE is able to keep Piss Yoshi off stage, and wins game one with a down smash.

Game two goes to Pirate Ship, with ICEE going for some odd plays leading to an even more odd conversation. After the commentators decide to stop talking about NSFW cornhole, ICEE lands a side b to take the first stock. Piss Yoshi is able to fire back with a parry forward smash to even it out. As a repeat of his first stock, Piss Yoshi gets juggled and side b-ed to death, before taking a stock to even it out. Piss Yoshi isn't able to make the comeback, since he's at double what death percent would be with how ridiculous Wonderwing is, and drops to a back air.

Winner: **ICEE**

### **Losers Round 1**

#### **UPS Founder vs. Donald & Goofy**

Game one goes to Fountain of Dreams, where both fighters struggle to kill. UPS Founder gets the first one, back airing Donald & Goofy. The duo is able to take a stock after taking nearly 100%, only to drop from a jab-jab-power dunk. UPS Founder lets D&G buuild percent on him, so he can KO with an early Buster Wolf to win game one.

Game two goes to Yoshi's Story, after an implication of snot being stored in the balls. UPS Founder tries to sauce up by taking damage from stray cans, but only succeeds in dying to a forward smash. Before even taking damage, UPS Founder evens it up with a Burn Knuckle. Donald & Goofy are able to take another stock with an edge guard into spike, which UPS Founder neutralizes through the power of wack hitboxes. After saucing up with the beans, UPS Founder takes the set with a Buster Wolf.

Winner: **UPS Founder**

#### **Alabaster Uppercut vs. Piss Yoshi**

Game one goes to Norfair, a stage known for being absolutely impossible to predict. Piss Yoshi takes stock one with a funny forward air spike, followed by an Alabaster Uppercut to neutralize it. Piss Yoshi proceeds to SD, but he takes the stock back with a back air at ledge. Continuing the trend of injuring Alabaster's groin, Piss Yoshi lands an up smash to take game one.

Game two goes to Monkey Watch Pilotwings, a stage that takes advantage of Alabaster's fear of heights. Not letting his phobia get to him, Alabaster lands a cruicial uppercut to take stock one. Piss Yoshi, understandably annoyed by being uppercutted, spikes Alabaster directly into the volcano as it passes by. The lava, understandably, rattled Alabaster and lets Piss Yoshi take another quick stock. Alabaster is unable to keep up, and loses the set to a forward smash.

Winner: **Piss Yoshi**

### **Round 2**

#### **Yung Papaya vs. CBT Demon**

Game one goes to Dream Land, with an early lead from Yung Papaya after a killer up smash. After taking a lot of damage, CBT evens it out with an up smash of their own. Yung Papaya takes another stock, with another up smash. Continuing the trend, CBT lands another lethal up smash. Yung Papaya takes game one with a down tilt to forward smash combo.

Game two goes to WarioWare, a neutral stage. CBT takes stock one with a back air, and racks up damage until Papaya kills with an up throw. CBT is able to take another back air stock, only to lose the lead to a side b. CBT Demon throws the match, taking a fully charged up smash to stop Yung Papaya from turning him good.

Winner: **Yung Papaya**

#### **Geek Squad Dan vs. ICEE**

Game one goes to Final Destination, with ICEE styling on Dan. Dan, who is known for hitting like a truck, takes stock one with a two-frame down smash. ICEE hits Dan with the back throw to even it up. ICEE doesn't let Dan land a single KO punch, and takes stock two with an up smash. Geek Squad Dan is able to even the game up with an uppercut, but ICEE exploits his terrible recovery and kills with a forward air.

Game two goes to Castle Siege, with an early zero-to-death from ICEE, followed by another near zero-to-death. Geek Squad Dan cannot keep up, and gets three stocked in one of the shortest matches in CPU Kerfuffle history. Dan, losing so badly that he gets fired instantly, gets hired by ICEE.

Winner: **ICEE**

### **Losers Round 2**

#### **ICEE Employee Dan vs. UPS Founder**

Game one goes to Gamer, with a forward smash clink starting the game off. UPS Founder shows that he knows how to deal with Dan, stuffing a KO Punch with a Burn Knuckle and killing with an up b into the blast zone. Dan is able to even it up with another two frame, and deals a lot of damage until he is KOed by a Buster Wolf. Dan is able to come back with a forward smash, but cannot take the match as he drops to a Power Dunk.

Game two goes to Yoshi's Island, with a stock lead from Dan after a vicious uppercut. UPS Founder is able to gimp Dan with a neutral b, and take another stock with a Buster Wolf at ledge. Dan is able to even it out with another uppercut, but cannot hold onto his stock long enough to win.

Winner: **UPS Founder**

#### **CBT Demon vs. Piss Yoshi**

Game one goes to New Donk, with CBT Demon's band playing. CBT takes stock one, smacking Piss Yoshi with a chair. Piss Yoshi comes back after teching a throw to neutral air CBT to death, and then gets gimped tp put CBT in the lead. Piss Yoshi evens it up with a forward smash, but gets foot stooled for a CBT win.

Game two goes to the notoriously jank Green Greens. Piss Yoshi takes stock one with a neutral air, and CBT does the same in return. CBT is able to gain a lead with a nasty 9 to take Piss Yoshi out. Piss Yoshi evens the game with a back air, seemingly unfazed by the 9. CBT Demon wins the set with a forward smash, with a JV 2.

Winner: **CBT Demon**

### **UPS Founder vs. CBT Demon**

Game one goes to Lumiose, where UPS Founder takes stock one with a jab, jab, Power Dunk. UPS Founder seems to really enjoy the combo, as he takes stock two with it as well before dying to ledge jank. But UPS Founder shows the Demon what real CBT is and lands a third jab, jab, Power Dunk to close game one.

Game two goes to Find Mii, with Megalovania playing. UPS Founder gives CBT express delivery to the blast zone with a jab, jab, Power Dunk and takes stock two with a down tilt to up b. CBT Demon, conceding, SDs at zero for absolutely no reason.

Winner: **UPS Founder**

### **Yung Papaya vs. ICEE**

Game one goes to Yggdrasil's Altar, where Yung Papaya starts off by showing no fear whatsoever. He takes stock one with a forward air, but drops the stock to a Wonderwing. Yung Papaya takes his lead back with an up smash, taking nearly no damage in the process. ICEE is able to even it out with an up smash of his own, but gets spiked to end game one.

Game two goes to Spiral Mountain, with an early Yung Papaya lead after a PK Thunder edge guard. Yung Papaya might need to change his name, because the plays he's going for are bananas, he lands a combo into forward smash to gain a two stock lead. Eventually he goes down, getting gimped by ICEE's up b, and then trying to recover too low to blow his lead. Despite this, Papaya takes the game with an up b finisher.

Winner: **Yung Papaya**

### **ICEE vs. UPS Founder**

Game one goes to Wuhu Island, with both fighters playing on the offensive. UPS Founder takes stock one with a Burn Knuckle before getting Wonderwinged. UPS Founder is able to throw him for the kill. ICEE cannot recover, and drops to a Burn Knuckle.

Game two goes to Skyloft, where UPS Founder goes off on an explosive start with a Burn Knuckle KO. ICEE is able to land a Wonderwing, and gains another stock up when UPS Founder dies to ledge jank shortly after. ICEE is able to get the win with a Wonderwing after swimming through land.

Game three goes to Pictochat with ICEE getting the Monkey Watch buff from Ryan's endorsement. This lets him get a KO with a throw, and continue on strong until he loses a stock to Power Dunk. UPS Founder keeps the momentum up, edge guarding with Power Geyser to take another stock. ICEE brings the game to last stock with another back throw, and doesn't let up. UPS Founder can't get a super move off, because ICEE lands a forward smash to take the game.

Winner: **ICEE**

### **Grand Finals**

Game one goes to Jungle Japes, which opens with a Yung Papaya PK Fire stage spike. This is followed by a gimp from ICEE, and a crazy back and forth that both fighters go to high percents from. Yung Papaya isn't able to recover while in the water, and loses a stock. Yung Papaya fires back with a killer up throw, only to get back thrown by ICEE after his snake does some weird ledge grab shenanigans.

Game two goes to Midgar, a very even stage. Yung Papaya drops to a Wonderwing, and takes a lot of damage before firing back with an up air kill. ICEE lands a forward air, but Yung Papaya doesn't lose momentum and evens it out with a fully charged up smash. ICEE is able to send it to a reset with a Wonderwing.

#### **Reset**

With the fighters one to one, they take the match to Great Bay. Yung Papaya takes stock one with a back air, but ICEE fires back with a forward air. Yung Papaya gains a lead with a side b at ledge, but loses it to a forward smash from ICEE. With a quick Wonderwing, ICEE takes game one.

Game two goes to Battlefield, with ICEE wasting a bunch of Wonderwings. He still has enough to take a stock with one. Yung Papaya takes a stock with PK Fire, and loses the equilibrium to a forward smash. Yung Papaya just cannot catch up, and loses the set to a Wonderwing to the face.

Winner: **ICEE**

### **Championship Match**

The game goes to Unova League, Hamburger Helper's signature stage. ICEE starts by popping off, an early indicator for the outcome, even if ICEE drops to a dash attack. ICEE is able to even it out with an up smash. Hamburger Helper lands a Skewer, using it to take the lead with his signature side b. ICEE quickly evens the game with a forward smash, and keeps the momentum going. Despite the game turning grim, ICEE baits an off stage side b from Hamburger Helper. Despite also going down, ICEE dies second. Hamburger Helper has been dethroned, Long Live the Bear.

Champion: **ICEE**