258: Raphina and the Woims

## Summary

Thalia implores the group to help, and tells them that three other dark powers are loose in Six Rivers before she is magically and inexplicably spirited away amid the mysterious sound of rushing water. Batthwack touches the statue and is instantly restored to his original size. They head off in the direction of the Warrens, passing through the Scarlet Market's nightlife, and come up with plans to scout out the Sooty Gang's hideout.

## Synopsis

Will realises he knows the location of the fourth key, reminding everyone that Dean Kellerman of Beartoggle University was wearing a big brass key around his neck. He suggests it would be easy to steal, which would be a much simpler transaction than convincing him to give it to them. Sheemie subtlety suggests he might help with that. *"Why don't you just ask? YOU don't have to steal the key."*

Thalia tells the group how relieved she is that they're here to help figure all this out. She asks if they're going to carry on helping people throughout the land and Will throws his head back and laughs. She says that the Aeonian Anglerfish told her that there were three other dark powers loose in Six Rivers, but wasn't specific about who they were. Raphina asks Thalia how she travelled from Worm to Beartoggle and she says she hitched a ride on a caravan passing through, not having enough money for an airship ticket. *"There's roads you can get from Worm to here pretty easily. The main Ring Road in Six Rivers goes through all the different river states."* Raphina feels a sense of duty to undertake all this, saying they're still entangled with what went on at the Amber Temple. Gwen reminds them that it had nothing to with her, but is still determined to do whatever she can to help.

Batthwack is circling the garden, keeping an eye on things, and suddenly notices that Thalia appears to be shimmering strangely. Will suddenly has a flashback to when Harry spoke to Dew of similar fractures in his reality and died shortly afterwards. Thalia seems intrigued by what's happening to her and as she turns around to try and look at herself, the group notice the same symbol of a waterfall on her back that they'd seen before, which is shimmering in and out of focus. *"Maybe... am I going? Where am I... am I going back? Is this... Guys, please take care of this!"* Raphina asks her about the waterfall on her back, but Thalia doesn't know what she's talking about. The shimmering intensifies and Thalia becomes a quivering blur. Will is desperate to find out if Thalia knows anything about Tivoli, but his voice is drowned out by the sound of roaring water. Thalia reaches out to steady herself on the pineapple statue and as her hand touches it, she instantly vanishes and all is silent again. Will's mind races. Where did she go back to? Batthwack wonders if they can follow. Perhaps they're all in the wrong place too.

The party try to process what they just witnessed. Gwen wants to know more about Harry, and Will obliges, also admitting he hadn't paid any attention to it at the time. It seems clear to Gwen at least that finding the Anglerfish and these other loose dark powers is essential to resolving all this. The conservation turns to what their next step should be. Raphina's keen to sort out Batthwack's lack-of-a-shield problem using her *Stone Shape* spell, but her magic is too depleted right now. Batthwack insists it's no big deal about his shield, but Will feels it's important that his bodyguard is well-equipped.

They decide to head towards the Warrens, checking out the Scarlet Market again on the way. Raphina's not sure if there's much in the way of actual shopping there, but maybe they'd find something a little more unusual, possibly illicit. Gwen's really not sure about buying stolen goods, but Sheemie suggests it's better to think of them as "refurbished".

Sheemie asks the group what they thought Thalia had meant when she'd said that the Pineapple War Memorial Garden had been a place of lucidity for her. Thinking about this, Gwen notices that since they've been here she has felt less of the strange dichotomy in her mind; she can focus more clearly on her current reality and more easily reconcile it with her previous existence. Batthwack also notices a feeling that this place has a power to it, specifically the statue. Batthwack places his hand on the statue and everyone is shocked when they hear the same deafening sound of roaring water again and Batthwack is instantly restored to his old 6'7" height. His size has been restored, but he still has his hair and crown, hidden underneath. *"Oh, you're back!"* says Gwen.

Raphina hurriedly touches the statue hoping to grow like Batthwack did, but disappointingly nothing happens. In fact, the feeling of power that had been radiating from the statue has diminished now. Raphina tries to recall all the waterfalls they've seen: Batthwack and Captain Clockface's necklaces, the one on Thalia's back, Roger's pottery, the oddly still pool beneath a waterfall that they saw on the way to the Amber Temple... *"I just see it. I feel it sometimes. Maybe it's in my mind. I don't know. I've seen it before,"* says Batthwack. They're reminded that they also first met Batthwack at a waterfall, which Raphina thinks it's kind've a diva move, if he actually planned that. He tries to explain that waterfalls are to him what smiling, red-robed gods are to Will, or unicorn patrons are to Gwen.

The party head southwest, and find themselves back in the Scarlet Market. It's late now, but despite that it seems very busy. There are people all around, some enjoying the late night food on offer. Before long they find themselves in the heart of the karaokay district, the cacophony of myriad instruments pulsing out of the doorways of various different establishments. They're all playing along to pre-recorded vocal tracks, creating a jangling din of noise as the sounds all collide together. They also notice one-man bands strolling around, carrying great heaps of instruments. Thinking of the many mouth harps she's carrying around, Raphina recalls there was one place that was just for mouth harp karaokay, but the others aren't completely sold on having a go at that. They're familiar with karaoke, but this is something new to them. Raphina tries to allay their fears, saying that no-one else knows how to play either, that's the fun of it!

Carrying along their way, they start to get more of a sense that the Scarlet Market is all about entertainment: dance clubs, bands, music, comedy clubs. They pass a couple of taverns: one place called *Ale Be Back* and another called *Mead & Potatoes*. Will and Gwen are keeping an eye out for *Hands & Fingers*, but can't see it yet. It seems unlikely they'll find a shield for Batthwack here, so they make their way to the river and arrive at the bridge.

They wonder about trying to scout out the Sooty Gang's base of operations with a view to getting hold of their key. Raphina explains that the Warrens are almost exclusively residential. She says it's more of a lower income area, the residences are very tightly packed together, sort of on top of each other. They discuss various plans for getting in to have a look unnoticed. Will wonders about turning himself into a flying animal to act as a spy, and Raphina goes a step further and suggests he could fly them all in and drop them on the roof. Will wonders how quiet it's going to be in a residential area at night; they might be too conspicuous. *"Tivoli never closes, especially at night. That's when everything fun happens!"* he says.

Giving up on any last hopes of just having a holiday, Will pleads that they at least disguise themselves if they're going to go snooping around the gang. Raphina suggests pretending to be a rival gang and Will's actually quite into this idea, explaining how it could be a really effective way to draw the gang out into the open. He even suggests that serial killer Raphina could be the gang's leader.

They seem to have a semblance of a plan, so Will uses his *Cloak of the Bat* to *Polymorph* himself into a bat, having to explain to Gwen that it was "refurbished" from Strahd's castle. Having sassily transformed into a bat, Will flits off in the direction of the Warrens, leaving the others behind.

## Trivia

* The episode title was a quote from KT. The group were discussing disguises and ways to draw the Sooty Gang out. KT/Will: *"We could maybe form a gang around a figurehead: Raphina The Murderer. Hey we're coming for you Sooty Gang, it's Raphina and the... and the... Snakes! I dunno!"* Eric (channeling West Side Story): *"We've got to snap a lot though."* Abby starts singing the Jet song: *"When you're a snake, you're a snake all the way!"* Denise: *"It has to be worms!"* Abby: *"When you're a worm...!"* KT: *"Raphina and the Worms! Guys Guys Guys, it can't be worms, it's got to be the woims. It's Raphina and the Woims!"*
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: comforting.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 See episode 177: You're The Best Turtle I Know
2. ↑ See episode 155: Raphino, Lady of Death
3. ↑ See episode 235: Titles Are For the Birds
4. ↑ See episode 111: Who Do You Think I Am, Mr. Peanut?!
5. ↑ See episode 18: It HAS Been Real!
6. ↑ See episode 218: Sure, I'll Consider It: A Phil Lompion and Fatmack Story
7. ↑ Speaking of Will's cloak, KT said *"Raphina hemmed the bottom because it looked like a stupid bat wing before, but now it has a nice purple stripe. I just made that up. I had mentioned to Raphina in game, do you think you could do something with this hem because it's a little ridiculous. And I think she said yes."* Abby: *"I totally did it, because all that time we have at night to not sleep."*