3. DIXI: Series 4, This Means War

## This Means War - Dixi

Billie races to find someone who will run against Blake in the election, while Selene is angry about an online comment.

### Writer

Dan Berlinka Robert Butler
Jon Macqueen Nina Metivier  Laura Major Eva O'Connor

## Episode Transcript and Timings

Previously on the Adventures of Billie...

0:00:04 0:00:06
I discovered that the person who deleted Miss Malik's CCTV was...

0:00:06 0:00:10
..Miss Malik!

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And now she's decided to expel me before I can expose the truth!

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The important thing is not to panic.

0:00:16 0:00:18
You're right. I need to stay strong.

0:00:18 0:00:20
-Too late, I've decided to panic!

-Jane!

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Baxter, I know you and Billie are joined at the hip,

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but I don't recall inviting you to my office.

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But I'm, er...filming a documentary.

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Nice try. Now, move along.

0:00:31 0:00:33
You really shouldn't be using your phone during school hours.

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PHONE RINGS

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Oh. Excuse me.

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If she catches me in here, I am dead!

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Deader than Boney McBone Face! Extremely dead! All the dead!

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Never mind that, I'm already dead!

0:00:51 0:00:53
We need to prove Miss Malik framed me before she can expel me!

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Miss Malik's not expelling you!

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I volunteer at the Greenhouse after school, you know,

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helping the troubled kids, and I appealed on your behalf.

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Said you were a first-time offender who was led astray.

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She's agreed to shorten your punishment.

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-You could be out next week.

-My hero!

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Like Captain America, but with really nice hair!

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-I can't believe you talked her into this!

-She is too good to be true.

0:01:14 0:01:18
Are you sure you're related?

0:01:18 0:01:20
Freedom or no freedom, we still have a case to crack!

0:01:20 0:01:23
It's password-protected. Maybe she's written it down somewhere.

0:01:25 0:01:28
I'll do this side, you do that side. Hurry!

0:01:28 0:01:31
As someone who's trying to get you out of trouble,

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I don't think raiding Miss Malik's office is going to help!

0:01:33 0:01:35
Look, I know it's a terrible plan, but it's my only plan,

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so lets go with it, people. There's a supervillain on the loose.

0:01:38 0:01:42
We need to catch them!

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This is just confiscated stuff. It's a loom band graveyard in here.

0:01:44 0:01:48
-There must be something that proves she's The Deleter.

-The who now?

0:01:48 0:01:51
The Deleter. That's our villain because they've deleted the CCTV.

0:01:51 0:01:54
That's terrible. Who wants The Deleter as their supervillain?

0:01:54 0:01:58
Everyone knows a hero's only as strong as their nemesis.

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And they didn't delete anything, they shredded all the exams.

0:02:00 0:02:03
Oh! We should call them The Shredder!

0:02:03 0:02:05
-I like that! See?

-Leave the super stuff to me.

0:02:05 0:02:08
What is the meaning of this?!

0:02:08 0:02:10
I bring you in here to discuss lifting your punishment

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and you're rule-breaking again!

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But I didn't break any rules the last time

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and you won't let me prove it! Why are you doing this?!

0:02:17 0:02:20
What Billie means is, we're really sorry, Miss Malik.

0:02:20 0:02:23
We were just curious...

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Curiosity killed the goose that laid the golden egg.

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Maybe. But why would there be CCTV on everywhere except your office?

0:02:29 0:02:33
Oh. Well, actually, I may have turned off the CCTV myself.

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-I knew it!

-Because of my interpretive dance.

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I did not see that coming.

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UPBEAT MUSIC

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Last time I danced in my office, someone posted CCTV footage online.

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People left rather unconstructive comments,

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-so I've been turning the camera off when I practise.

-I'm sorry.

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-We won't say anything.

-No, not a thing.

-Of course not.

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Well, after this little misadventure, I can hardly

0:03:07 0:03:10
let you out of the Greenhouse early, but lets say no extra punishment.

0:03:10 0:03:15
Jane, since you're here, we need to go through the application forms

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for student president. Just the one.

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Well, then, Blake Sheen it is.

0:03:21 0:03:24
This can't be happening.

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Blake the Snake and probably The Shredder, is running unopposed!

0:03:26 0:03:29
I can't believe I can't run against him!

0:03:29 0:03:31
If he wins, the school will be a living nightmare.

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But the deadline for new candidates closes on Friday.

0:03:33 0:03:35
Well, that means we've got one day to find someone who can take him on.

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I don't care if I'm still locked up, I'm going to stop Blake

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if it's the last thing I do!

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So that was yesterday, and I've spent all night since

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trying to work out who I can get to run.

0:03:46 0:03:49
It would be brilliant if Jane could do it, RedBlackRappingOwl,

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but she's not allowed, seeing as she's already been president.

0:03:52 0:03:55
Silly school rules!

0:03:55 0:03:56
Hello! Hello! It's Echo! Echo!

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Miss Malik has suddenly decided she's the uniform enforcer.

0:04:03 0:04:06
Um...hello, hypocrisy.

0:04:06 0:04:07
We all saw her dancing around her office,

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but suddenly, she's against self-expression.

0:04:09 0:04:11
Do teachers really think they can strip me of my dark shadows?

0:04:11 0:04:15
Pale me into submission?

0:04:15 0:04:17
They can ban our badges, take our wristbands,

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wipe off our make-up, but we will never join the clone army.

0:04:19 0:04:23
I refuse to let them scrub away my personality.

0:04:23 0:04:26
Wow! It looks like biggestcbbcfan13 loves your stuff...Katy?

0:04:26 0:04:31
Talking of fans, Amani's clearly got one in her boyfriend, Alessandro.

0:04:31 0:04:36
Aw! Sweet!

0:04:36 0:04:38
Hi, everyone, it's me, Amani,

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coming to you live from the front of the bus!

0:04:39 0:04:41
-Maybe that was too much. I should start again.

-I thought it was good!

0:04:43 0:04:46
Really? I don't know.

0:04:46 0:04:48
Maybe I should have more practice with vlogging.

0:04:48 0:04:50
Vlogging's just like talking to your friends.

0:04:50 0:04:52
-Don't worry and be yourself.

-Thanks. You know, I loved yours, by the way.

0:04:52 0:04:56
That Lip Gloss Like A Boss episode. You're so good at make-up!

0:04:56 0:05:00
Wait a second. This is you wearing make-up.

0:05:00 0:05:03
I'm just kidding.

0:05:03 0:05:04
I'm sure some people are really into the whole sweaty-joggers look.

0:05:04 0:05:08
Blake, I'm wearing joggers cos I ran a 5k before breakfast.

0:05:08 0:05:11
Not all of us like to spend our time in front of the mirror!

0:05:11 0:05:14
Anyway, Jane is right, that's why I started vlogging.

0:05:14 0:05:17
So many people have been kind to me on Dixi since I joined.

0:05:17 0:05:20
I feel like we ARE friends.

0:05:20 0:05:22
So to say thank you, I wanted to start a new series

0:05:22 0:05:26
on sports and fitness.

0:05:26 0:05:28
Now, I know a lot of people don't have time to exercise,

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so my first vlog is all about ways you can work out on the go.

0:05:31 0:05:35
Welcome to Bus Yoga!

0:05:35 0:05:38
Step one - let all your stress just melt away.

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-Try to block out the rest of the world.

-Amani?!

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-But it's not always easy.

-What are you doing?

0:05:46 0:05:49
Um... Looking for inner peace.

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Well, tough! This means war.

0:05:50 0:05:54
What does? You seem stressed.

0:05:54 0:05:56
-I was about to do some breathing exercises.

-Don't tell me to breathe!

0:05:56 0:05:59
Of course I'm stressed, and don't pretend you don't know why!

0:05:59 0:06:02
Oh, yeah, I know all about you being stuck in the Greenhouse,

0:06:02 0:06:05
but I'm totally on your side.

0:06:05 0:06:06
Look, I even baked you cookies for moral support!

0:06:06 0:06:09
It's spinach and oatmeal!

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I'm not talking about the Greenhouse,

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although that was a travesty. Those delinquents put gum in my hair!

0:06:12 0:06:15
But, no, I'm talking about this!

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1. Well, there's a Greenhouse where you have no friends

0:06:18 0:06:21

1. Expect for loneliness

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1. Oh, there's a Greenhouse where you don't feel much

0:06:24 0:06:28

1. Except for emptiness. #

0:06:28 0:06:30
OMG! This is brilliant! I never knew you played this sort of stuff!

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I don't. This was the first time.

0:06:33 0:06:35
You should start a band or something. This is so cool!

0:06:35 0:06:38
Oh, yeah, I'm SO cool!

0:06:38 0:06:40
I'm sure that's what you and your boyfriend said after you saw it.

0:06:40 0:06:43
Look at the comments!

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-It's my Alessandro!

-As if you didn't know!

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Look at how many thumbs it's got. Everyone's laughing at me.

0:06:52 0:06:55
I...I don't understand. This doesn't make any sense.

0:06:55 0:06:58
Selene, I promise, I had no idea.

0:06:58 0:07:00
OK, fine. You're a clueless patsy, but your boyfriend is going to pay.

0:07:00 0:07:05
-I've never even met the guy. How does he know that I am...

-A geek?

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Academically superior.

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And this happens days after I get framed for a crime I didn't commit!

0:07:10 0:07:12
-He had nothing to do with that.

-Of course you'd say that!

0:07:12 0:07:15
-What's his number?

-No, no, you don't need to call him.

0:07:15 0:07:17
-Please, I just need to talk to him!

-This is your one chance.

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Give me his number and help me get even or we are not friends.

0:07:20 0:07:22
-I didn't think we were friends.

-Good point. Then we'll be enemies.

0:07:22 0:07:26
Please! I promise, I'll sort this.

0:07:26 0:07:28
So be it. Stay out of my way, Amani.

0:07:28 0:07:30
I'm going to find your boyfriend and then he's going to pay!

0:07:30 0:07:33
GlassMammothGoat is right, Selene, your song is great!

0:07:36 0:07:40
And so is my idea for who should run in my place for school president.

0:07:40 0:07:44
Today, on the Adventures of Billie, I managed to get

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out of the Greenhouse by volunteering for litter picking,

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which gives us exactly one hour to find someone to run for president

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and stop Blake's rise to power.

0:07:52 0:07:54
We've got the perfect candidate to defeat the Prince of Darkness.

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-There she is!

-Amani!

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-Good news, you're about to become the next student president.

-What?!

0:08:00 0:08:03
-We need you to run against Blake.

-I'm not going up against him!

0:08:03 0:08:06
Come on, Amani! This is a time for ordinary heroes! I'll train you.

0:08:06 0:08:09
-I can't, OK? I've got problems of my own.

-Are you OK? What's happened?

0:08:09 0:08:13
Nothing. I don't want to let you guys down, but there's no way.

0:08:13 0:08:16
Blake's been horrible to me since I got here and it's not worth it.

0:08:16 0:08:19
Oh! Cookies?

0:08:19 0:08:21
Oh! Who puts spinach in a cookie?

0:08:26 0:08:28
I really like them.

0:08:28 0:08:30
Do you think Amani's OK? She seems kind of distracted.

0:08:30 0:08:33
-She's probably sending heart-eyed smileys to Alessandro.

-Oh, yeah.

0:08:33 0:08:37
Well, this is no time for romance.

0:08:37 0:08:39
Somewhere in this school is our next president!

0:08:39 0:08:41
No. And this room is for computer-science students only.

0:08:41 0:08:45
No way! Blake's the best! He's getting us helicopter rides!

0:08:45 0:08:48
-But that's obviously a lie.

-Can't shake the Blake!

0:08:48 0:08:51
Can't shake the Blake!

0:08:51 0:08:52
-STUDENTS:

-Can't shake the Blake!

0:08:52 0:08:54
Can't shake the Blake!

0:08:54 0:08:56
Guys, I don't even go to your school any more.

0:08:56 0:08:58
We're getting kind of desperate.

0:08:58 0:09:01
We need someone to fight against the forces of evil!

0:09:01 0:09:04
Evil's kind of my thing.

0:09:04 0:09:06
Sweet! Echo posted a new vlog. I have to watch this.

0:09:06 0:09:09
-I give up, there's no-one left. ECHO:

-Hello!

0:09:09 0:09:12
-And I need to be back in the Greenhouse in five.

-It's Echo! Echo!

0:09:12 0:09:14
Wait! Who is that?

0:09:14 0:09:16
Why don't girls' clothes have pockets?

0:09:16 0:09:18
We have stuff, we have phones, we have keys.

0:09:18 0:09:22
Why am I forced to...

0:09:22 0:09:23
OMG! It's...E-Emily?

0:09:23 0:09:26
-Anna?

-I want to say Vera?

0:09:26 0:09:29
Hey...you!

0:09:29 0:09:32
-Forgotten my name, haven't you?

-No!

0:09:32 0:09:35
-OK, yes, but what if I called you Echo?

-You watch my vlogs?

-I do now.

0:09:36 0:09:41
You're an incredible speaker. Passionate, funny...

0:09:41 0:09:44
Do you mind leaving this stuff in the comments?

0:09:44 0:09:47
-I don't like human interaction.

-OK, I'll get to the point.

0:09:47 0:09:50
I want you to run for student president!

0:09:50 0:09:52
Waiting for the punch line.

0:09:54 0:09:55
Nuh-huh! I don't do public speaking.

0:09:57 0:09:59
I don't do general speaking.

0:09:59 0:10:01
This, right now, it's outside my comfort zone.

0:10:01 0:10:04
We'll support you every step of the way.

0:10:04 0:10:06
You can be a voice for the voiceless. Speak for the little guy.

0:10:06 0:10:09
Someone needs to stand up to Blake.

0:10:09 0:10:12
Enjoy this cupcake and vote Blake.

0:10:12 0:10:14
Er... We need to target the people who matter.

0:10:14 0:10:17
Don't waste those on emo losers.

0:10:17 0:10:19
Emo losers?!

0:10:19 0:10:22
-OK, I'll do it!

-Yes!

0:10:22 0:10:24
Worried you won't have anything in common to talk about at prom?

0:10:32 0:10:34
If you're not as naturally silver-tongued as me,

0:10:34 0:10:37
spend the night before researching the web.

0:10:37 0:10:39
As soon as you meet up, bombard them with constant, relentless facts.

0:10:39 0:10:43
This way, you'll appear uber-interesting, eliminating

0:10:43 0:10:46
awkward silences and any pressure to think up questions to ask them.

0:10:46 0:10:51
Boom! Job done!

0:10:51 0:10:52
Gaps in the conversation are a real date-killer, folks,

0:10:52 0:10:55
so just keep talking. Never even pausing for breath.

0:10:55 0:10:57
Art, history, personal-grooming methods.

0:10:57 0:11:00
Not too in-depth on that last one, though.