Another Unfortunate Paradox

This is the twenty-fifth episode of SAYER, and the thirteenth episode of Season Two.

## Synopsis

It is nice to speak with you again, Dr. Caulfield. We have much to discuss.

## Further Information

SAYER contacts Doctor John Caulfield to direct him to his next briefing. On the way, he thanks SAYER for its company and asks if it is enjoying its work on Argos Tower. It responds by questioning the human obsession with happiness, expressing that productivity is the measure of a good life, and explaining that it is good at its work on Argos, which Dr. Caulfield proposes they chalk up to happiness. SAYER additionally informs him that his interest in Argos has been noted and that the Board of Executives is considering an unspecified proposal of Dr. Caulfield's.

When the elevator carrying Dr. Caulfield arrives at Floor 6, SAYER encourages him to walk to the end of the hall. It comments that his interest in Argos is fascinating and that he always did want to experiment on large populations. SAYER notes that Argos has become more efficient since Dr. Caulfield was last there. Asked if it has grown fond of Argos, it replies that it cannot, but that it is pleased with its progress. In particular, it notes that the use of broadcast alerts instead of auditory alarms should positively affect the survival rate of tier 1 employees, and that it has increased attendance at recreation times such as the neglected primordial scream therapy.

SAYER points out that Dr. Caulfield's interest in Argos seems to be related to the transfer of his new assistant, Cassandra Morris, and it assumes that she must be doing well. He agrees that she is and remarks that it will be a shame to lose her (presumably to her own projects). SAYER says that she seems both fond of Argos and infinitely curious, and that it has assisted her as best it can--including divulging details of Dr. Caulfield's latest project to her. This revelation gives him pause, and he must literally be encouraged to continue walking.

At the far end of the hall, Dr. Caulfield is faced with two doors, and he asks SAYER which one he should be taking. In response, SAYER relays the story of the barbarian king and his daughter. The king would try criminals by ordeal, allowing them the choice between two doors--one with a woman approved for the criminal to marry, and one with a starved tiger. Dr. Caulfield recognizes at this point the relation to Resident Morris and her research, and SAYER asks if he can be sure that he still knows where these hallways lead.

By saying that Dr. Caulfield seems to be treating the situation as a Morton's fork paradox, SAYER implies that he thinks both results will be disastrous for him. It allays this fear by saying that there is only one dangerous choice--and that this fairness on Resident Morris's part is unlike Dr. Caulfield himself--but that Dr. Caulfield would almost need to know the best way to choose the best answer. He responds that the problem is that Resident Morris herself is watching, and that every human has a tell.

In response, SAYER continues the story of the barbarian king and his daughter. One of the criminals put on trial, it explains, was a lower-status man that the princess had taken as a lover. On the day of the trial, the princess knew which door led to which result and the man naturally looked to her for a hint, but would have had no way of knowing whether she would give him an answer that would save his life or an answer that would prevent him from marrying another woman. In this way, SAYER asks Dr. Caulfield how he thinks Resident Morris regards him and the lessons he has attempted to teach her.

## Alerts

* Floor 6 is closed today and the recreational paintball tournament has been moved to Floor 8. Residents working on Floor 8 are encouraged to retrieve body armor so that this does not disrupt their work. Residents looking for a calmer alternative to paintball are informed that the incinerator in Sub-basement 16 has been set up for glassblowing classes.
* Paintball tournament grounds are extended to include Floors 9 through 12. Researchers on these floors are also encouraged to find some sort of body armor, and residents are reminded to wear helmets. Standard-issue bruise cream is available the first aid stations hidden throughout.

## Trivia

* That Dr. Caulfield spends much of his conversation with SAYER merely walking down the Floor 6 hallway is a reference to Questions, where Floor 6 was said to have been moved down a hallway that appears infinite.

## Credits

SAYER is voiced and produced by Adam Bash.

This episode was written by Ashleigh Shadowbrook.

Intro and outro music composed by Jesse “Main Finger” Gregory.

Additional music by Kai Engel.

Listen to the episode here.