1181/Consoling

**Goth has posed:**
     Goth was sat in Dustoff's chair in his root-mode as he read over some personal research on a datapad he head and let out a long drawn out huff. The quiet was welcomed but he did long for some of those normally in his presences, not that he'd ever admit it... been a few Solar-cycles since Vortex poked him, so he was worried given everything that had happened.

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex makes his presence known for the first time in a few days. He tiptoes into the medbay, his rotors flat against his back as he sneaksneaks about. He sees Goth is distracted adn tries to make his way to the cabinet where the drugs are kept. Sneak sneak sneak, Tex...

**Goth has posed:**
     Speak of the devil and he shall appear! Goth's ears twitched at the light steps of Vortex's pedes against the metal floor and he leaned back in the seat to look at Tex judgingly. "What are you doing?" He'd ask, before letting out a surprised squeak as the datapad came loose from his hand and landed flat on his face.

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex jumps in surprise and almost knocks over a cabinet "M..me? I didn't do nothin, no one caught me I mean Im not even.." and the cabinet clatters over with a clang. "Will you believe its an invisible Ravage?"

**Goth has posed:**
     "...Please if it was Ravage, everything would be knocked off the desk." he'd state dryly, and sigh, picking up his datapad, and set it on the desk. He'd then push himself up and move to pick up at the cabinet. "....So, where have you been?" He'd ask, glancing up at Vortex.

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex chuckles. "Yeah, probably." he moves to pick up the cabinet with Goth's help "Where havent I been? Been drinking, doing circuit speeders, avoiding orders, that kindda thing. You know. Normal Tex stuff." he sounds way too friendly. His optics glow a bit too brightly today and his hands are badly welded in several places. This is the norm for Vortex as of late though, its a bit more psychotic then normal. "How about you? How have you been? Up to anything? Tell me about it?" he asks, his voice taking a manic tone.

**Goth has posed:**
     Goth stares at Tex and Sighs, rubbing at his helm. "Sit." He'd order, pointing to a near berth, looking over Vortex. "It's been rather quiet, other than a visit form Darkstar, but he only came around for business things." Hed' huff, and bring over some tools to start tending to Vortex.

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex sits on the berth, fidgeting badly. "Can't stay long. Can't sit still too long. But I gotta know whats going on. What business things?" He eyes the tools "Im not damaged." he stammeres. "Are you damaged?"

**Goth has posed:**
     Goth would given him a half-lidded look, and start working on properly welding Vortex's hands, and correcting the bad ones. "Ahh those upgrades and new weapons he's been working on for deca-cycles now." he'd say as he worked. "And why can't you stay long? lso what have you been doing? High again I can tell."

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex nods "Those would be goo. Very good for him." he holds still for the welding, sighig in relief. "Thank you for taking care of my hands again. They always seem to get in the way of my blades it seeems." he says with a long sigh. "Not high enough. I was hoping to find something loose in the closet to take care of that. im starting to remember why I have tried to forget the last few days and that's not a good sign. I have that super circuit speeder, but I as saving tht for a special occasion. Today seems pretty special doesnt it?" he murmurs.

**Goth has posed:**
     Goth would huff and given him a look. "That won't necessarily help." He'd think for a moment, attempting to recall what was said over the communlink. "Mmm Could speak about such down in the lab if you require privacy if you don't wish others to hear the conversation." He'd suggest, glancing up.

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex nods "Allright. You know , it is kinda embarassing that I let it happen in the first place." he says. "It'll help for a few minutes but stupid memories keep coming back." he loers himself from theberth. "Allright." his voice sounds more numb and he sort of seems defeated.

**Goth has posed:**
     Goth scoffs. "Please, feelings, emotions and socializing are all part of living, besides, you know I had a conjux, I do actually have a fair bit of knowledge in that field." He'd point out, looking over Vortex's hands. "More you try to push it away, more your mind will make things worse, you must acknowledge them or they'll take much more time than necessary, and cause much more suffering."

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex pauses. "Oh no, Im done ith aht hole conjux thing. Im sorry I teased you about it earlier. I've got other thigns to focus on. Like flying. Torturing poeple. Stabbing things. Being stabbed. Messing with people's heads. If my mind's acting like an afthat, then I will just have to beat it till it stops. Its worked before right?"

**Goth has posed:**
     Goth gives him a look. "Vortex, No." He'd say simply, and motion for him to follow him down to the lab, as he stamped in the code for the first door. "Come, it will be fine, not the first time I have dealt with having to acknowledge my feelings on a matter, or helping someone /else/ through it." He'd nod.

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex sighs "Im the opposite of a psycholoist I dont nee.." he shakes his head. "Fiiiine." he heads downstairs with Goth keeping his newly fixed hans in front of him.

**Goth has posed:**
     Once passed the two code protected Doors, Goth would lead Vortex over to that large pillow nest that was in the corner of the lab, and gestured for Vortex to flop into it, he would then transform into his bat mode.

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex nods "thats a nicely protected door." he says as he oes downstairs. He moves to crouch in the nest but doesnt quite relax "I dont know why you do this for me, but thanks"

**Goth has posed:**
     Once Vortex was comfortable, he'd flop himself down next to Cortex, relaxing on the pillows himself and huffed, and looked at Vortex. "It is... Something that has just become natural to me, from having lead my own group.. I suppose for reference you could say I was like your Onslaught to them." He'd nod, figuring it the best way to really explain it all. He'd then cross his wrists. "Alright, talk to me, explain what happen?"

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex starts to curl down, in spite of himself. "Maybe thats why I like you so much and you get me so much. You remmind me of Ons sometimes..I dont wnana make you o back to that if you dont wanna."
     He gives a long sigh "Juris and I broke up."

**Goth has posed:**
     Goth quirked a ridge at that they had 'broken up' his mind immediately going they were never together, but that was beside the point, same emotions were there, he would nod in acknowledgement. "Their gone now...Only way I could ever be with them once more is if Time travel somehow became feasible, a miracle or my spark is eventually snuffed out." He'd explain with a huff, Vortex already knew this, but he did realize it likely never clicked.

      "Now, that aside, Why? and what were the terms that caused such?"

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex sighs "Im sorry. I know its not the same but..maybe you can make a new family here." He says. "Not the same of course but..at least it can help you through the bad times." he pauses and looks at Goth "She came to me, followed me into an antique shop." he says. "She wanted to see whats you know. Under this." he motions at his mask. "Visor, facemask, helm, everything. So I took it off an' showed it to her." He sighs and looks away. "She asked an important question. She said she needed to choose sides and asked me to sell her on the Decepticons."Vortex looks away at the wall and then at his feet, his facial expressions covered by that mask, but his rotors are held low, in shame.
    Vortex speaks to the ground. "I asked her what she wanted. She said peace. Justice." he says. "I told her she'd be a better Autobot. There's no place in the hell we create and live in for an angel of peace."

**Goth has posed:**
     "Well, I've invested my time into Dustoff and you haven't i?" say in a aloof tone, but smirked in contrast, and settled himself in there as he listened, laying his chin onto his wrists as he did.

      He'd let out a hem as he listened and nodded, and sighed. "Well, you were honest, and told the truth, that is all she could of asked honestly." He'd close an optic. "....You are right though, much as it pains me to say such given what the context entails, someone like her would not of lasted long, specially with the likes of Darkstar here." He'd roll his optics.

      "...And when you care about someone, you wish the best for them, but understand they also need the room to be themselves.....But that being what it is, I understand it does not stop it from hurting when choices like this come around." He'd sigh. "It is okay that it happened, but it will be something you'll need to keep silent from the likes of command and Darkstar." he'd frown.

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex chuckles. "You should be happy with him an forget sadistic freak like me. I love only for sadism and sensation you know." He says. "She...believed in me For a while. It wasnt until the en, that she knew what I thouht of her. And do you know what she did?" he clenches his fists a bit his right oe goin for his rotor again. "She pitied me. Id rather have her mock me or hate me but no.." He takes hte rotor off his back and seems to be going for his left thigh with it. His hands move almost subcosciously.
     Vortex's optic band flickers a bit, his hand pausing. "Darkstar. He was always right you know. Im a much better person drunk and setting my fumes on fire then like...well like this." he says "I didnt want to be selfish. I just didnt ant her ending up like me or worse."

**Goth has posed:**
     Goth would bring his hand up and attempt to gently push Vortex's hand away from the blade, and he would give Vortex a slight look. "Please Vortex, you are very much like Charmy, but your own bot, while you'd never replace him, I know you have worth, even if you think you do not." He'd nod.

      "It is not wrong to care about someone, Vortex, that is where Darkstar is wrong, as... Well, he flat out state he sees relationships as entanglements, things that get in the way of his purpose and reason for being, so he is not exactly the one to ask for advice regarding such thing." Goth would hem, scratching at one of his ears as his thought about it.

      "Mmmm But you see that type of stagnation, is what truthfully hold him back, I will not deny the fact there is power in relationships, and workings together, so, It will not matter how strong he gets, if he cannot grasp such, he will fall." He'd try to explain, as he struggled slightly to figure how to do such much more simply.

      "And He attempts to perpetuate this onto others." He'd nod. "...Now tell me... Would that of made /you/ happy?"

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex doesnt arue an moves his hand away, but seems tense without cutting into himself for a distraction. He folds his hands over each other an starts to wring him. He doesnt seem capable of sitting perfectly still, which is the ay he always acts when hes nervous. He focuses on Goth scratchin at his ears, watchn his movements closely. "I alwasy thought the ony thin I need is my brothers. Everyone else can go to slag. But I like you too and I thought maybe I'd give others a chance." he says. "Shows how stupid that idea is. You're different though. You remind me of Ons which means you're close enouh to pass." He says. "Darkstar, yeah Hes only out for himself and glory." He says. "YOu think hes stanant?" he asks. "Thats a different way of looking at it."
    Vortex pauses. "Would that make me happy? Goth? You know me. I can't keep my mind straiht for more then twenty minutes at a time. Stagnant and me don't get alon well. One minute Im in love the next, Im drunk. The next Im torturin people. its just the way I am right?"

**Goth has posed:**
     Goth's ears wiggle, they are very expressive and move a lot as he speaks and are part of what give away his emotions behind that stoic, calm tone of his... They stayed forward, focusing on text though, clearly he was taking in everything that was being said.

      "Friendships... happen like that, you try to make yourself void of them and then someone with a missle comes and blows the door down and you're left with a mess to clean up and aaauhg." he'd say dramatically, placing his hand against his forhelm and smiled. "I do think, things would not of changed had you, or had you not given her a chance, fairly she was heavily blasting that door down that I had actually considered murder." He'd chuckle and huffed. "I do apologize for that, I had truly thought she wasn't respecting your boundaries." he'd nod again.

      "Will stagnate, but yes.... There is...a possibility he will change, but I am not fate weaver." He'd tilt his helm to the side, his lip twitching upward as he cringed outwardly as he thought about the statistics. "I rather go by numbers." He'd nod.

      "...Mmm not necessarily, you seek sensation because you were deprived of it, yes? Emotion is one such Sensation."

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex 's face is well hidden with his battlemask and visor. But his rotors give away most of his emotions. They are cocked to the side, almost curious, and a bit lower then normal. "Yeah, its just like that. I shouldnt even try. I mean Im a freak right? I dont have much to offer osmeone so why try to befreind them? Its too late for you. You're stuck with me. But others.." he says. "I dont think they can handle that. She was an enemy combatant. You should have killed her. It'd have saved me from this anyays..." he says.
     "As for emotion.." he looks away again his rotors lowering. "I havent been good at them since before Garrus. Since the box." he says. "Spent...I dont know how long in there. Felt like a few thousand years btu I lost track of time. I lost track of everything. Ons is the one that got me out and Im never going back in one again." He says. "I ont feel anymore most of the time. Im pretty...numb physically and otherwise. I seek sensation to feel the rush. To feel...anything. that don't make any sense I bet but thts the way it is. And I share it ith others. Sometimes they scream an' talk for me when I do." he chuckles. "Thats the best time."

**Goth has posed:**
     "If others see worth in you, they will make attempts, if they try, that will succeed, if not? well, their loss." He'd nod. "I do also think that is part of why this.. has affected you, more than normal, as she tried, and was succeeding, but things.. Thing have come between that cause a rift.. As Life, is often very unfair." He may not of seemed upset by what he was saying, but his ears fell back against his helm in a saddened droop, he was speaking from experience.

      "No, it make complete sense, you are desensitized, and disassociating in a bid to attempt to handle the trauma, thus, trying to feel /something, anything/ just to attempt to feel again." He'd explain as he got up and brought over a stress ball to Vortex to squeeze and give his hands something to do, before flopping back down.

      "I'm not.. the best when it comes to emotional advice myself, as I'd been alone in space for Vorns, and lost quite a lot of social contact myself, thus the guarded and stoic vistage I put on." He'd glance up, his ears coming back up and one more tilted then another.

      "You see, when I lost my team to those that killed them, those that survived the collapse of our once home, I personally hunted down, and made suffer by murdering them, or one of their loved ones to make them feel the exact, same, pain, I did, perhaps teach them a lesson to ensure such a thing never happens again, an illogical emotion fueled plan yes, but it.. I felt better."

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex nods "Ons knows what Im capable of and sees worth in me. You do too. thats ll that matters." he says. "She didnt even know it. She didnt even know she was succeeding. I thought she as tyring, but she wasn't. Its just.." he says. "I let myself feel too much for her. I won't do that with outsiders again. Unless the outsier is pproved by those in charge." his voice is a bit numb, and he nods "I Know life's unfair. Funny too sometimes. Its a crazy good time and Im holding on for the long ride." Vortex fgives a chuckle. When Goth mentions disassociation, he quiets down. Now who else disassociates in his own way? Blast off perhaps? "Yeah. Seems like everything thats nasty for me makes me feel alive. Bad love choices included" the ball a moment, and then focuses on it, quieting for a bit. Then he returns his attention to Goth, easily distracted as always. "Most of my best friends are spacers. Maybe I like the stoic kind casue I get where they're coming from.
     Vortex nods "I'd be the same way if it was my brothers. I wouldnt stop until whoever killed them was. Wait not dead . Suffer. I'd make them suffer for taking away the only people who can ...you know. Stand to be around me. That get me. Present company excepted of course." he squeezes the ball a bit and starts to roll it around in his hand "This ball is awesome."

**Goth has posed:**
     Goth gave a single confirmative nod, with his optics closed before looking up. "Yes, it's best you do attempt to be more careful, next time, but do not spurr the experience, as it is experience and has helped you learn for said long run." He'd smile.

      "Perhaps also, it is a good contrast for your more hyperactive, personality, can help in keeping your thoughts focused." He'd pause and tilt his helm side to side. "It's why I state you are like my deceased teammate, Charmy, he was nearly the same way, but much much more worse, extremely hyperactive and easily distracted, needed someone like I to help keep him in line, it is why our relationship worked well." He'd nod.

      Goth chuckled. "Welcome, Charmy also sometimes needed something to do with his hands to keep himself focused while talking, kept them active and allowed him to think and talk at once." He was silent momentary, that soft smile still on his face.

      "I know what I did was wrong, and that will never change, all I can do is live with it, and live my life to the fullest till the consequences of such crash around me, which I know will be my own end, so, no point in letting such things hold me back anymore.. Heh." he'd chuckle. "I am grateful I have found those of a similar thought processes though, it is.. validating."

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex nods "Yeah, I gotta keep the hands busy and the sensations going. If I sit still. I ont know what would happen. I just dont for long. My mind is always buzzing around, and focus? Wel thats not really me is it?" he chuckes. "You were Charmy's Ons. Ons kees me from going off the deep end and so does Blast Off. I can focus but rarely do outside my job. And Im really. Really good at my job. This doesnt hinder my job at all. Makes me a better interrogator. Just..a lot harder to socialize with sometimes." he starts digging into the ball almost violently hard. He doesnt even seem aare that his hands are doing that. "Yeah. makes ya think you're less crazy. Or maybe that others are as crazy as you are."

**Goth has posed:**
     "Indeed, that is a very good way to look at it." Hed' agree, bringing his hand up as he nodded once more and watched Vortex dig into the ball.. Yeaah He figured that was going to get ruined, he was grateful he had another. "You know something about yourself now, what you want, or want in a partner like that, and it prevents someone from attempting to woo you on the spot to get out of being interrogated." He'd chuckle.

      "Well.. I'm not exactly like Onslaught, but I do understand what you mean in similarities, that are positive." He'd smile. "So.. Feeling a bit better?" He'd question.

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex nods "I am." he relaxes a bit then frowns "Sorry I busted your ball.." he tilts his head. "Its good to kno ho your friends are. I'd offer you a hug but thats.. Dustoff's job. Im trying to learn restraint."

**Goth has posed:**
     Goth scoffs, and just puts an arm around Vortex, and pulls him into a quick hug, before letting him go. "Please, those aren't Dustoff exclusives, just.. something I attempt to keep limited to those I trust with actually touching me." He'd chuckle and look at the ball. "Baah, it's fine, I can get another, and I have a spare, I'd be a hypocrite to, as I've ruined quite a few myself." he'd smile.

      "You'll get there, just a matter of knowing whom to trust... If they are likely to stab you, keep them out of touch range, if you trust them enough /not/ to stab you, then your likely fine." He'd chuckle.

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex returns the hug closely, shakig a bit at the touch. He compoases himself quicky an tits his head. "Just takes somet ime. You're older then me I think > You've had more practice." his voice is dull and staticy as if he's suddenly exhausted. "M' gonna have to go soon. I hate doin' it but.." he says. "Havent recharged in days."

**Goth has posed:**
     Goth nods. "Heh, I will not put that pass, I am aware I am a bit older than most around here." He'd chuckle and once more nodded. "If you need a safe place, you know I wont be opposed to you recharging here, honestly surprised you've not passed out yer from being here." He'd nod.

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex pauses. "You know its tempting." he says, curling up in the pillows. "These are nice." he murmurs. His body is still after a moment as the hedonistic chopper just sleeps when he feels tired. It isn't long before he starts thrashing. Even in his rest he doesnt stay still.

**Goth has posed:**
     Once Goth was sure Vortex was at least not going to hurt himself ot tear anything, he'd push himself up and get himself hung upside down nearby in the rafters, to be close by should something happened, and slipped into recharge himself.

**Vortex has posed:**
Vortex settles after a while. Normally he'd wake up after his first round of nightmares, but he seems...secure and safe here. He pulls pillow to himself and wraps himself around it. For the first time in a long, long time he sleeps still without the use of medication drugs or engex. He just lets himself do something almost foreign to him. He finally...relaxes.