The Road To El Doritos

Samphry and Maxy tell how they met some new members, Maguire and Tully, in a story which is essentially a blend between the Lodgers' story and the story of Sam and Max's Adventures in El Dorado. They go to a futuristic city of rarium named El Doritos. (Pronounced Dor-Ie-Tos, and not to be confused with the delicious chips). This semi-future Aztec society is a bit more light on sacrificial, baring their extreme high priest To-Tal Quakka, a duck-like creature who is awaiting what is believed to be the Sun Gods of El Doritos to arrive and bring the world into ascension as a world that rightfully belongs to the Theta God Zone. However, in similar fashion to El Dorado, Quakka would turn out to be a major jerk and knew that the Maguire and Tully aren't the gods he awaited for and tried to destroy them twice, one involving a stone Gladiozont, and another with a band of rogue militia Bulliarns out to establish a new Bulliarn kingdom away from the main race going soft to establish their own Bullgard, lead by the great conqueror Obstacez. And since there's no waterfall to hide behind, they must find a different way out of this situation.

## Scenes

#### **Meeting Maguire and Tully**

Flashback

* (Samphry): Well, after we became part of the Loungers, we needed some time to get use to our new membership since, well, the Loungers' time in Seastar was still rather, upsetting to their reputation, we asked the Nerd to give us a place to do it. And son of a gun, we found it.
* Bulliarn: (He was seen riding a large Bullume)... TODAY, WE BLAST OFF TO CONQUER THE NEW WORLD! FOR BULLGARD! FOR GLORY! FOR, RARIUM! (Everyone cheered and fired their blasters into the air as it got his Bullume to shake in shock and spill his drink on him) AAHHH, I JUST GOT THIS THING WASHED! REVERE, EYES FORWARD! (He dumped his goblet onto a wanted poster of Maguire and Tully)
* (Samphry): Turns out these guys have done a lot of illegal gambling acts like cheating, swindling, embezzling, all that stuff.
* (Maxy): Which we were... Well... ALMOST late for.
* Tully: SEVEN!
* Maguire: AAALRIGHT!! YEEES!!
* Tully: PARTAAAY, HOOHOO! (They danced and played a guitar-like instrument in a victory dance) VICTORY SCREECH! LOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO...
* Maguire:... OOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO-
* Bulath: HEY! (They stopped)... ONE MORE ROLL!
* Tully:... Uh, hellooo, guys? YOU'RE BROKE! You got no s\*\*\* to bet with.
* Bulath:... Well, I got THIS. (He showed them a holomap)
* Tully:... A map-
* Maguire: A MAP?!
* Bulath: Yep. A map, to the wonders of the New World.
* Tully:... You mean that little crusade your captain Obstacez is obsessing about? Nooo thank-
* Maguire: WAIT!... I have seen that kinda map before. (He grabbed it and shoved Tully's face in it as it made a face marking like his) Tully, look!
* Tully: Okay, a few seconds of peeking, kay? (They looked at it)
* Maguire: I knew it! Tully! El Doritos! The City of Rarium!
* Tully: You mean that made-up land that was only meant to inspire space crusaders for eons? Maguire, I'm telling you, it doesn't exist.
* Maguire: Maybe because people weren't trying hard enough. This here, it could be our destiny! Our fate!
* Tully: Maguire, if I believed in fate, I wouldn't be playing with loaded dice!! (Maguire makes sad and doggy faces)... I don't care what kind of faces you make, it's not happening. (He kept trying) No! No! NO! NO! NO! (The Bulath snatches it)
* Bulath: Seconds are up. One more roll. My map, against your cash.
* Tully:... (He looks at Maguire)... Fine, Peewee, you're on.
* Bulath: Uh, no! Not with THOSE dice. This time, we use mine.
* Tully: Uhhh...
* Bulath: Got a problem with that?
* Tully:... Eh, they look like they've never been used in decades, so, why not? (He uses them and began shaking while Maguire played his instrument) C'mon, dye, Papa needs that crappy map!! (Maguire kept showing off) STOP!... Okay... (Deep breath)... Show... Me... SEVEN! (The dice rolled as they landed, and with the last one spinning, it ended up landing on seven, surprising the audience)... Seven!
* Maguire: WHOA!! ALRIGHT!! (The Bulath fell in defeat as the two grabbed the map and the money)
* Tully: Well, it was a nice game, but we got some places to spend this stuff- (His loaded dice fell out and landed on seven)
* Bulath: (He smashed the ground and saw it landed on the same number) I, I KNEW IT! (Tully snatched the dice) YOU'RE DICE ARE LOADED!! YOU DIRTY CHEATS!!! (Maguire kept playing his instrument until Tully grabbed it and smashed it)
* Tully:... YOU GAVE ME LOADED DICE?!? WHY I OUGHTA-
* ???: AHEM! (A Bullgard knight appeared)
* Tully:... HE GAVE ME, LOADED DICE!! ARREST HIM!
* Maguire: WHA- HOW DARE YOU IMPUTE MY HONOR?! HE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS CHEATING!! ARREST HIM! He scammed these sailors and took their money! Well, the map was won fair-and-square, but the rest, TOTALLY A CON!
* Tully: OH, I'M THE CON?!? WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR?! (He showed him in the guard's shiny metal chestplate)
* Maguire: Well, you BETTER give them their money back or I'll... (He took a guard's vibrosword) EN GUARDE!
* Tully: EN GUARDE YOURSELF! I'LL GIVE YOU THE HONOR OF A QUICK AND PAINLESS DEATH- (He pulled out another guard's small vibroknife)... Okay, not with that. (He put it back and took his vibrosword) We need a FAIR FIGHT HERE!
* ???: HARK! (Samphry and his team arrived)
* Kid: IT'S SAMPHRY AND MAX, FREELANCE HEROES!
* Samphry/Maxy: HI, KIDS! (A random clip of people cheering was seen)
* Samphry: We were just in the area until we were alerted to the sound of fine steel vibroweaponry being drawn.
* Maxy: It's like one of our alerting sounds to us. (They saw Tully and Maguire dueling)... Hmm. Looks like a fencing match.
* Samphry: Could've fooled me since they don't know how to make those swords vibrate. This seems more like an amateur fight.
* Tully: Well, any last words?
* Maguire: I will cut you to ribbons!
* Tully: OH, SUCH MEDIOCRITY! WHY DON'T YOU LET YOUR SWORD DO THE TALKING?!
* Maguire: GOOD IDEA! (They kept fighting) YOU PRANCING, DANCING, TWIT!
* Tully: NEENER NEENER!
* Maguire: You fight like my sister!
* Tully: I FOUGHT your sister. That's a compliment.
* Maguire: SUUURE! BLAGGARD, HEATHEN! (They got on a roof and Maguire disarmed him and took his sword)
* Tully: (Quietly) NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE!
* Maxy: Oohhh.
* Tully:... Ladies and germs, we've decided it's a draw. (They thew the swords to the ground) Thanks for coming, you've been a great crowd, and see you NEVER! ADIOS! (They leapt-off)
* Samphry:... Wow. They're such bad actors.
* Maxy: I could've played it better than that. (The rest of their group arrived)... What took you guys so long?
* Brittany: Well, it would've helped if you two didn't have CARTOON POWERS ZANIER THAN OURS!!
* Kid: CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPHS?!?
* Maxy:... Ummm... Kid, look, this is LITERALLY the 563rd autograph we've had to sign, okay? We're in the middle of something right now. But here's something better. (He gave the kid a Maxy hat) Chao. (They left as the kid squealed with his own hat)
* Memby: They really WERE bad actors. I should know.
* Winget: Yeah yeah yeah, we all know. Look, I'm sure those guys didn't get in too much trouble-
* ???: RUUUUUUUUUUN!!!
* ??? 2: WE REALLY SHOULD HAVE KEPT THE SWORDS!! (Maguire and Tully were riding a giant Bullume out of control, all of which knocked over all the heroes with a bowling strike sound)
* Maxy:... Well that came out of nowhere.
* Winget: Well, I guess I stand corrected.
* Bergeera: We better go make sure they don't cause anymore damage. (They went in a crazy chase as Maguire and Tully got off the Bullume, and ran around with the Bullume, the guards, and Samphry and Maxy's team following them, right until Maguire and Tully went through doors right past both the guards and the team)
* Tully: BYE, THANK YOU!
* Kii:... Oh, crap- (The Bullume charged through them and the guards with another bowling strike sound and the damage ended up causing a pottery shop owner to panic as the damage went straight for him)
* Pottery Owner: NONONONONONONONO**NONONONONONONOOOOO!!!** (The damage stopped)... Oh... WHEW! (Suddenly, the Bullume charged for him as he Tom screamed before the bull struck him, shattering his pottery and collapsing the damage on him)
* DISCLAIMER: NO ANIMALS OR ALIEN BEINGS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS EVENT!
* (Icky): Wow, surprised MSM remembered that part after years of the moisodes going off YouTube.
* (Tully): Well, anyway... We were in deeper manure after that.
* Tully:... Well, we're in deeper manure.
* Maguire: But at least the Bullume is off our backs.
* Bulliarn Knight: FREEZE! (Guards pointed their vibroswords and guns at them) YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!
* Tully:... And now THESE guys are on our backs.
* Maguire: RUUUN! (They did as the guards chased them, getting Samphry and Maxy's team to chase them too)
* Maxxo: Yeesh, these guys can't catch a break, huh?
* Boole: Well, they DID cheat in gambling, so I can assume this is a normal day for them.
* Mr. Fursies: So, should we help them or the guards?
* Brittany: Honestly, I don't care. I'd rather watch the comedy of the situation.
* Kii: (Dazed) Especially if it ends up painful. (Plops down)
* Tully: (They made it to a ledge) WHOA!
* Maguire:... I bet we can make that jump. (They saw the guards chasing them)
* Tully: 2 bucks says we can't.
* Maguire: YOU'RE OOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!! (They jumped into metal kegs full of water)... You lose. (Tully gave him 2 bucks)
* Brittany:... Did they just jump into kegs?
* Lolia: And survive?
* Boole: These guys must do this a lot.
* Brittany: Stupidly lucky, I'm sure. (Both their barrels were hauled onto a spaceship)
* Boole: THAT, on the other hand, should be new.
* Tully: What's happening?
* Maguire: We're both in kegs. That's the extent of my knowledge. (The kegs were placed on deck as they got air by removing the rubber stoppers on the kegs)... Alright, on the count of three, we jump out.
* Tully: Got it.
* Maguire: 1, 2... (A Bulliarn placed a heavy crate on both their kegs) 3! (They strained as the crate was too heavy)... THREEEEEE!!... THREEEEEE!!!.... THREEEEEEEE!!!
* Brittany:... Okay, that was kinda funny.
* Maxy:... Should we help them?
* Brittany: Nope. We all know how Bulliarns feel about stowaways, they're on their own.
* Samphry: Brittany, what is the #1 rule of being a hero?
* Brittany:... To know when to fight and when not to fight?
* Samphry: No, that's the #2 rule. The #1 rule is to ALWAYS help someone in need.
* Brittany: Even if-
* Samphry: YES!
* Lolia: No offense, Brittany, but you'd make a TERRIBLE hero.
* Brittany: What'd you expect? When you're a rich pet who ended up stranded on an alien jungle planet, WITH HEAVY GRAVITY, you tend to turn into an ass.
* Maxxo:... Well, yeah, that could turn anybody into a cranky ass.
* Samphry: Well, regardless, we have to help them.
* Brittany:... Fine. But it's your funeral.

Later...

* Tully: (They were both still in the barrels)... Alright... Last try.
* Maguire/Tully: 1... 2... (A Bulliarn removed the crate as they popped out) 3! (They all saw where they were as the Bulliarns noticed them)...
* Maguire:... Uhhh... Wow, that grog must taste GREAT, huh?
* Tully: Yeah, I mean, come on, this is obviously the booze. (They all touched them)...
* Bulliarns: They're real.
* Maguire:... F\*\*\*. (They were cuffed and brought to their captain)...... Obstacez!
* Obstacez: "(Growls as he was facing away from them)..... I, can get that Bullarns are not afforded too much respect for things like, all those wars, and much less the actions of Former King Corbos..... (Turns around as he was cracking his fists) But I'll be DAMNED, if I gave people the impression that guys like you can stow-away on ships like mind, and not have ANYTHING bad happen to you?! But because the new king is, softer then Corbos, instead you'll be held for a Bullarn trial for fate to be decided. Keep in mind, trespassing on a Bullarn's ship is punishable to plantation duty, where you'll be made to mine Sulfer in a Bullarn owned Sulfer planet for the rest of your life-extententcy."
* Tully: "..... Would it ease things if we say, we didn't do this on purpose?"
* Obstancez: ".... Accident or not, an example will be made, either way..... (To Bullarn guards) Take these louts to the brig."