How to Speak Pirate

**Date Started:** Nov 26 2019
**Date Completed:** Ongoing
**Users Involved:** User:Shen Yi, User:EmperorKamui
**Setting:** Hargeon Town
**Characters Involved:**
* Crow Feet: Bastian Beauregard, Uriel Flynn

"Aye, ain't that the Crow Feet Emblem?!" An older man whispered. Bastian overheard the duo from the next table as he sat with his own drink. A young ebony skinned wizard dressed in a blazer which covered a pink dress shirt and denim pants. Of course his coat exposing the massive dark purple symbol on his neck. But this far from a coincidence.

The key to successful reconnaissance? Eavesdropping. Most treasure hunters and thieves tend to take a more violent approach to information gathering. Kidnapping. Burglary. Messy things that often leave behind a trace. Just go to where the people directly involved in the problem gather and listen.

Bastian remembered when that hag took him on his first job. He thought they'd be going to some secret criminal den. Surrounded by murderers and killers. Snorting all sorts of drugs and defiling women! Only to sit down at a coffee shop near the center of town. She told him, over a cup of steaming tea, to listen to the world around him.

*"People like to sit down with their loved ones and complain after a long day of work. And its usually the type of people we hunt that causes them problems. You'll get all the information you need just by shutting up and listening."*
That lesson lead Bastian, earlier today, to stop by the dock and find a pair of sailors to tail. Following them to a nearby restaurant. They looked tired. As if they'd been at sea all morning. Surely they were looking for somewhere to vent their frustrations.

And just like then, his hands cupped a warm mug of hot chocolate with enough whip cream to touch the tip of his nose. His eyes were closed, seemingly enjoying the peace and in a different world entirely.

"Trouble's brewing in this town." His friend responded. His voice wavering as his hands shivered. "Ya know that they say a crow flies in murder."

"What d'ya think is going on?" The older gentleman asked while sipping his drink. "Think this is about ta Pink Lady?

"Has ta be. Several ships go missing. Blood cova tha sea. Body parts washe up at sunrise?"

"Damn wizards." The older sailor spat violently. "This town ain't build fa them. We fish. We raise our families. Thas it! Why would tha council even send *them* of all people. Thieves to dispose of pirates? I'd prefer that Hydra Head group! At least we'd know they' ain't have any ulterior motives! Plus their magic is actuall awesome."

Bastian rolled his eyes.

"I doubt the council sent them. I heard Crow Feet ain't been part of their organization for years." The man leaned in. "They probly heard information about tha Hargeon Loot and re looking for tha treasure themselves. They ain't nothing more than thieves."

"Hmph. Hopefully that pirate bitch and them kill each other. Then this town will be free to sail tha northern route at night." The man chuckled. So much hatred in his voice that it filled him with a false confidence. His eyes foolishly looking to his side. "Not like tha treasa actually exist."

Bastian's lowered eyes met their gaze, causing them to nearly jump out of their skin and fall over. Probably hoping that their contact was nothing more than a coincidence.

*Pink Lady.* Bastian noted mentally. He downed the entire mug of hot chocolate and placed a coin on the table. He stood up and approached the table where the older sailor and his junior sat. Their bodies frozen, locked in each others gaze in hopes that the young wizard would simply disappear. And surely their hearts almost exploded when Bastian's hands went into his pocket.

A gold cain fell on their table, spinning before landing on tails.

Bastian heard their united sigh of relief as he walked towards the door. That was enough information for them. And surely the other two got something just as useful.

*I just hope that hot-head ain't burn down half the town already.*

Hargeon was preparing to turn in as the sun started to set. But the streets were still busy with merchants and families hoping to get a last minute sale. Their children running about after school. A calming sight. Maybe in a different world, Bastian would settle down in a place like this with his own family?

Not when that treasure is out there, somewhere, unclaimed. The sailors of this town call it Hargeon's Loot. As with most prosperous port cities, Hargeon has had its fair share of pirate invaders and other countries attempting to overstepped their boundaries. Legend has it that somewhere among the seas of Hargeon lies a lone island where a cave sits. A dark cave illuminated by mounds and mounds of treasure!

The thought excited him! Finding out the truth of legends often meant endless riches. And more importantly, secrets to magic which have been long forgotten. Money meant a lot. But the chance for him to advance his magical potential was priceless. First hargeon's Loot and then Cockaigne! Drool started to pool at the side of his mouth. A wizard lost in a grandiose dream.

A conqueror?! A tyrant?! No. Bastian wanted to own a massive hotel among the clouds. A floating palace for other wizards to relax. A castle independent of borders. Where all who desires to delve into the world of thaumaturgy could gather and share their accomplishments.

A truly magnificent spectacle!

Bastian's gaze reaching farther than the sea before him as the sun began to set. He snapped out of it and wiped the saliva from his mouth. The others should be here shortly.

"What's that boy even doing?" said villagers walking on the docks. Their remarks were towards a young, red-haired man looking out at the sea. The ocean contained great deals of treasure, from its various islands to its briny depths. While such thoughts were on his mind, Uriel was more so listening to those around them. He wasn't here for fun, who would think of a small fishing village as a place to go to for fun?

*Gah, they aren't talking about anything worthwhile,* thought Uriel as he continued gazing at the sea, wanting to remain calm to avoid unwarranted attention. He was an outside, that is the only thing that caught the eye of those around him.

Unlike his comrade, his guild mark was not visible due to his clothing. However, Uriel was starting to ponder if maybe it would be a good thing just to get the people talking about whatever riches they feared Crow Feet would steal.

Uriel was just about to give up and head back to meet with his team when a few men walked by. "I wonda what them boys are gonna steal. Tha damn Pink Lady bringin' tha wrong kinds of folk to these parts."

Steal? They must have spotted one of the others. Uriel stretched out his arms before reach back and placing his hands on his back, pushing forward to pop his back. Walking past the men and away from the docks, moving towards a different area of the sea to find his friends.

## Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Rum

"Moe, Curly, Larry! Get yer asses out here, we've got work to do!" The woman's voice was rough as if she had smoked for years, but she had the smooth country accent of a southern belle, both vocal characteristics that clashed horribly but somehow fit her appearance. A tall, thin, stunningly beautiful woman with wavy black hair and traditional yet girly pirates garb. "Y-y-y-yes ma'am!" The three men saluted their captain as if they were in the army, sweating bullets at her mere presence.

"We've been sittin' pretty in the port for a while, eh? I say it's about time to show Hargeon who runs this place." The woman chuckled while the men wiped their brows and let out sighs of relief. They weren't in trouble this time. "WELL WHAT ARE YA WAITIN' FOR! GO!" Big Bertha screamed, the three men, though bigger and older than her, scurried away, jumping off of the ship and onto the dock of Hargeon. Their captain followed.

A few Rune Knights stationed in the port town were quick to intervene, meeting the group of pirates, which they recognized as the evil Skull Heart Guild. The leader of the knight group walked in front, clearly very confident of himself. "Aw, looky looky, a warm welcome party!" Bertha exclaimed, another heavy laugh escaping her mouth. The rune knights were not amused. "By order of The Council, you're under arrest!" The man said, a fireball forming in his hand. "Aw, little ol' me? What did I do?" Bertha struck a seductive pose with her mace, hearts formed in the eyes of the knights behind the brave soldier. "Can't we just let her go!" "A get out of jail free card!" "She doesn't deserve prison!" The men began to yell, she had enchanted them with her skinny beauty.

The leader, however, wouldn't budge! Instead, he threw it her way. Rearing her mace back, the fire met steel, and... vanished!?!? The man was shocked, and Bertha began to walk closer to him. "Well, I gave you a chance, didn't I?" Bertha swung the mace over her head and brought it down onto the man! Knocking him cleanout. After that, she moved on to his subordinates, who were too lovestruck to even react!

Larry, Moe, and Curly cheered their captain on, talking about how amazing, strong, and beautiful she was. Bertha enjoyed this type of flattery, in fact, it was the only reason she recruited them in the first place! "Alright now that those pesky knights have been squashed, let's have some real fun!" Bertha raised her mace as if it was some sort of revolutionary flag, and her underlings ran into town, skipping and hollering, attacking anyone and everyone they saw, looting houses and markets, meanwhile, those that remained on her ship, the pink lady, began to fire cannons and sink other docked ships. Hargeon was in big trouble.

*Looks like they came to us.*

Bastian used the pole to lean on, creating a sort of natural disguise. People tend to overlook those who don't seem involved. Sort of one of the many methods that the brain use to filter out information. Bastian watched the whole thing unfurl. In fact, he felt his heart racing when she took her skinny form. Cause boy was she a beauty. He almost joined in the chaos!

*Where the fuck are the other two!?* Bastian thought to himself. He was by no means weak. But charging into a battle like this wasn't the smartest thing to do. Still, the screams of a tortured town made his skin crawl. It brought back memories of his own town being ransacked by bandits. The smell of blood slithering throughout the residences. He'd hid...Maybe if he had the power he possessed now...

"They'll have to join up with me later then." Bastian growled. *That must be the Pink Lady. Even if I focused on the ship, this town'll be dust by the time I finish destroying it.* He gritted his teeth while looking at the woman behind this madness.

*They can buy another town.* A decision. Bastian darted towards the town, weaving through the running crowd. He struck one pirate with a well time kick and punched another. The good thing about pirates? They aren't throwing fireballs and giant blocks of ice around. Meaning he could conserve his magic.

"What tha hell!? Who tha fuck are you!" The man screamed from the ground.

"He's a member of Crow Feet!" The kicked pirate spat. "We gotta tell da boss!"

Bastian took two steps after the fleeing pirate but felt an increase in wind from behind. He jumped over the oncoming assailant, using his head as leverage to kick another. Bastian felt the man's jaw come loose from the force. He then leapt back. Stopping the sword of the previous pirate with a well timed kick to the hilt.

**Whack!**

A well timed cross, a straight right, into the man's chin. Sending him soaring backwards. Bastian was unique in the world of magic. Most magicians preferred to sit back and throw their magic around. But Bastian's main thaumaturgical discipline wasn't based on an element or external influence. Bastian wasn't a wizard in the traditional sense of the word.

He is a fighter that uses magic.

And so, as he returned to his stance, Bastian smirked. Nothing excited him more than a chance to knock some weaklings out.

Running to the docks was a group of her weaker pirates, ones she didn't even bother to learn the name of! If they didn't shine her boots with their lips then really what was the point. Still, like many of her other more prominent members, they feared her. "B-b-bad n-n-n-n-n-n--n-n-n-" One of the men stuttered before they were interrupted. "Well, spit it out." Bertha said, a nasty impatient look on her beautiful face. "Crows feet is here!" One of them shouted abruptly, eager to please their queen. "WHAT!?!" Bertha felt her face, the corner of her eyes, it was smoothe! What was he trying to say! Taking her mace she whacked him right off the docks, a long loud scream saying "THE GUILLDDDDDDDDD" could be heard before a big SPLASH!

"Well, that makes more sense." Bertha growled. This was going to be a lot more work than she thought! Though the woman didn't know much about the guild, she did know they were treasure hunters, like herself and that was enough for them to be a threat! "Let's let em' know who their messin' with." A smirk appeared on the woman's face, leaping back onto her ship she yelled for her entire crew to charge into town! "Don't forget your magic." Bertha said, opening a giant treasure chest, as pirates ran off The Pink Lady, they grabbed some type of holder magic, whether that was a magic gun or an elemental sword, they were prepared for a real fight.

Bertha chose to stay behind, her men could take care of this, and if they couldn't and one of them crows ended up here... well they'd pay for it!

Maybe he spoke way too soon. As the approaching pirates, waving swords of fire and shooting bullets that exploded on contact, told him that magic was finally involved. Bastian punched the pirate who he held by his collar once more before charging forward.

A stream of intense fire rushed forward. Sandwiched between several buildings, Bastian launched himself into the air and flipped over the inferno. He spun around and twisted his body in an axe kick. Except his leg erupted into that of a giant's. Muscles and veins bulged, seemingly pushing away the second jet of fire. The force of his kick shook the earth. Cracking the buildings around him and sending a handful of pirates crashing.

He quickly reverted his leg. Invoking his signature magic on his hand. It shielded him from several exploding bullets before he snapped it forward in an open palm thrust.

"Where are they!?" Bastian growled. This sudden increase in firepower meant the woman knew they were here. Making the infiltration part that much harder. A good thing to Bastian.

But hearing her mouth about stealth and not leaving traces was worse than death.

Walking towards the meetup destination, Uriel heard shots being fired. He let out a sigh, knowing the job likely just became more complicated. That, or someone with friends just really didn't like another townsmen. Uriel knew luck was most likely not on his side in that regard though. Running forward, he saw the enlarged leg of his comrade deflect several bullets.

Another volley of bullets was being fired by a new wave of gunners. The bullets were fired, but they quickly disappeared. They were captured in a wall of burning lava, melting down into more lava. "Lava-Make: Wall!" shouted Uriel as he stood back up, having had his hands placed on the ground for the spell.

"Sorry I'm late, Bastion. Got caught up at the docks," Uriel said. He looked around the gunners as the lava wall began to fall apart. "Looks like we have been found out. Oh well, easy pickings from the looks of these guys!"

Clapping his hands together, red circles formed within the air. From them, a flock of birds formed, all of them taking the shape of a crow. The birds looked almost normal, except for the burning red eyes and streaks of red running through the body. Most of all, of course, was the intense heat they were giving off. "Lava-Make: Murder!" The birds flew forth, burning their molten wings into the barrel of guns for lucky targets. Less fortunate victims were struck by the moving lava creatures in rapid dives.

"What did you find out Bastion? Do we know at all who we are up against?"

"A bunch of pirates." Bastian yelled over the ensuing madness.

Bastian's arm reverted when he saw the wall of molten lava erupt before him. Finally some backup to make this a fair fight. He watched his teammate move with finesse. Always impressed with his destructive magic. Hell, between the three of them, Team Feather is known as the most chaotic team. Other groups of Crow Feet possessed magic ideal for thievery. They could phase through physical obstacles. Hypnotize people. And even change their form to twist into proper positions.

But they lacked the success of Team Feather. Since their modus operandi was to utterly destroy their target before raiding their coffers. Bastian busted everyone up. Alexius took all the stuff and Uriel obliterated the traces. Such a noisy operation, other teams often wondered how the three of them managed to still be free let alone still alive! Especially after the *incident*. The Crow Feet insignia became something of a target.

Bastian's arm enlarged during punch. Causing the giant fist to slam against the remaining pirates with explosive force. Sending them soaring and clearing the area completely. Bastian smirked before reverting his signature magic. He turned to Uriel...

"But nice of you to finally show up!" He screamed. "How was dinner? Did you meet someone nice? Or are the two of you deciding to take it slow? I mean I hope my inability to quell a pirate invasion by myself didn't mess up ya night." Bastian rolled his eyes.

"Oh, you know how it is. She wanted to to meet my parents, I was wishing she was real. The usual," Uriel joked as he extended his arm out. Lava swirled in his hand and began to take the shape of a spear. Throwing the weapon with precision, he skewered one of the pirates. "Stop screaming, the heat should have cauterized the blood vessels."

Uriel looked over at Bastion, fighting his way through the pirates. While he could conjure gauntlets or swords with his abilities, which thankfully didn't hurt him, he wasn't much for close-range combat. No, he preferred to stand back and attack from a far. Even better, not attack at all. Why do anything if he can make his familiars do it? However, Uriel would be lying if he said he didn't admire the fighting style and the magic Bastian used. Only thing he wanted more than that was to find a lava dragon, but such a dream had already come to pass

"So pirates? Fun stuff. Now, just conjecture here, since they are pirates, I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say that ship is *probably* their base of operations? And based on its horrid color," Uriel said pointing at the pastel pink ship, "that must be the Pink Lady?" Uriel clapped his hands together once again. This time, two large shapes formed next to him. "Alright gorillas, time to go bananas. Get to the ship, but take care not to scorch it yet." The two molten apes pounded their chests and ran into the crowd to beat down and burn the pirates. Uriel walked behind them. "Any idea where Alexius is Bastion? Maybe he scored better than me tonight?"

Bertha didn't know where these crews were and honestly she didn't care! As long as her pirates are taking care of business. In fact, she was so incredibly relaxed about the situation she simply sat on the ships deck, painting her nails and staring into a mirror, daydreaming about her own beauty. Eventually, she was interrupted. Her most trusted officers, Larry, Moe, and Curly, came running to report some more news! "Captain! Captain! Ma'am! Ma'am! They're wiping the floor with us!" Now, the term don't shoot the messenger passed through Bertha's mind, but whoever said that anyway? Some old geezer in a pointed hat! "THEN WIPE THE FLOOR WITH THEM! WHAT DID I RECRUIT YA FOR?" Bertha screamed at the top of her lungs, clearly angry.

The skinny woman didn't appear that vicious, but the three didn't see it that way! Bowing on their knees they began to worship her or something, as if that was going to make up for it. "Well go after em YOURSELVES." Bertha was just about ready to wack them into tomorrow, but how were they going to fight like that? Frustrated, Bertha returned to her mirror, looking at such a goddess like herself was always therapeutic.

Only a few minutes after she had sent her henchman away, gorilla's of lava came stumbling onto the deck! "Well, I don't remember invitin' you folks aboard..." Bertha said, grabbing her mace and standing at the very edge of her ship. Instantly the monkey's leaped up in an attempt to attack but they were met with heavy interference from the Iron Maiden! Bertha's signature weapon, a spiked mace that was able to negate magic! In an instant the monkey's vanished and she knew exactly who was behind it! "Damn, I guess those crows do more than caw." Bertha laughed at her own joke before returning to her mirror. Larry, Moe, and Curly were taking care of this!

Marching through the chaotic town, was the three stooges. A team of the Skull Heart guild who acted as Bertha's strongest members, and her most trusted officers. One tall, tanned, aged man with silver hair a strange looking package of cigarettes, another a short, round man wielding a giant fork, and lastly a handsome man with dread locks and a small seed pouch. They talked among each other, laughing at their remarks as they searched for the troublemakers, and turns out they weren't all that hard to find.

A few boys roaming threw the city spewing magic left and right? Some thieves they were. "Aye! Aye! Aye!" Each of the three stooges called out, trying to get the groups attention. "Think those shiny feathers'll make a nice coat for Lady Bertha." Curly laughed pounding hist fists together. "And those beaks look awful tasty" Moe licked his lips at the very thought. "Think I'll take the claws." Larry said, blowing a puff of smoke from his mouth.

"Would be nice for Alexius to appear now." Bastian said, turning to the three weird men that suddenly appeared before the duo. Of course they'd make some corny jokes about being crows. How original! As if Bastian hadn't heard the same jokes millions of times before. The Crow Feet mage looked to Uriel before taking several steps forward.

"Why would you eat a crow's beak?" Bastian responded. "They have no meat and provide zero nutritional value. Its dangerous for both you and the crow." The finely dressed mage rubbed his forehead.

"I'm guessing you guys are with the pirate lady? What business do you have in this town."

Farther into the town, a large ebony man strolled down the town streets, moving along the air like a tune blown from a flute. Drifting through the streets, watching the people as he made his way to a specified location, seemingly not a care in the world.

People watched the man extra close as he strolled throughout town. Gust of wind caused a dark purple guild sigil, in the shape of a crow's talon, to come into view. Instantly skewing their opinions on the man, pulling their children out of the man’s way. It didn’t seem to bother him at all a, his eyes were met with a similar looking pair of men further down the street.

A peculiar hop in his step became apparent shortly after seeing the man. He moved faster. When he approached the pair, he lifted his arms and slammed them on each of their shoulders as to startle them.

He looked past the duo to see three men in front of them and raised an eyebrow. “Who are they?” Alexius questioned. The only one not assimilated with the tone of the current situation. He was confused as to the disarray on the streets before them, a 180 from the street he just walked on to get there.

"Don't you know? Eating crow is unlucky. Plus, others from the flock learn who is the source of danger," remarked Uriel, following up on Bastian's statement. Uriel looked over at Alexius. "Finally joined us, nice. These are our new pirate buddies, here to show us around the town. Maybe kill us later, who knows?" Uriel turned his attention back to the three idiots, not referring to himself and his teammates.

“Okay, so I’ll take the ugly one. Y’all take the smelly one and the stupid one. I’m not really sure who is who either, so actually just take one and beat his ass.”

Uriel conjured up new molten ape, sending the burning beast to attack the figure known as Curly. Uriel then crafted molten knives. From here, he leapt up to a vantage point of the roof of a nearby house.

Content to provide long-range support, Uriel began throwing the molten daggers at the pirates. In doing so, he hoped to pierce joints and such to disable limbs. However, being able to damage them and assist his allies was enough for him.

Meanwhile, the large molten gorilla roared as he charged its superheated body into Curly, getting ready to pound its fists into the man violently.

"Look at you taking command!" Bastian screamed as he cheered for Uriel. He took several steps before turning to Alexius. "They're probably henchman of whoever is behind this. Which means we gotta make them talk."

Bastian smirked and started towards Moe. He didn't care who would become his opponent. Nor did it matter. They needed to brea through these obstacles as soon as possible.

"Looks like its you and me."

## Giant Pain In The Neck

Moe spun his fork around in his hands as if he was some used cars salesman attempting to trick helpless young buyers, the sharp points glistened as he pointed it toward his enemy as if it was some sword. Quickly he stabbed the floor underneath him, turning it into some sort of jello! "Moe food! Moe food! Moe food!" He repeated over and over as he bounced up and down before doing a spinning flip at one of the men with his fork extended, ready to stab on landing!

Bastian was shocked by the sudden transformation. Magic that influenced the surrounding often meant having to deal with a lack of a controlled battlefield. Troublesome. This battle would require more than simple brute strength and a reliance on power. Bastian quickly leapt into the air in order to avoid losing traction. Unlike other mages, who preferred to fight from a distance, Bastian flew at Moe with a certain ferociousness. He spun his body around in an attempt to punch the man in the stomach with a quick jab to the stomach. Followed by a straight cross, attempting to snap his rear fist into Moe's face

The man's fist was met with a giant gummy bear on Moe's fork, making the weapon similar to that of a hammer an allowing him to be on even grounds with a fist. Moe laughed as the battle happened mid-air, believing that this man didn't have magic! "You can't beat us without magic!" Moe said excitedly, his voice sounding... well less than pleasant. Like a fully grown adult baby! The second jab to his stomach came around which unfortunately Moe didn't have time to block, but due to his massive body size, the blow was slightly cushioned and he used to to get to the ground and gain distance.

"I started with dessert, let's move to the main course." With the town in shambles Moe was easily able to stab a piece of debris, changing it into a giant rotisserie chicken. "Bird bomb!" Moe said, flinging it at his enemy! Upon contact this tasty meal would explode!

Bastian used the force from the rebounding fist in order to retain his balance in mid air. Flipping backwards, away from the jelly field, and back onto solid ground. A true annoyance.

Bastian, mimicking the man's own tactics, kicked up a piece of debris and threw it at the rotisserie chicken. Using the years of conditioning his body to enhance the power of his pitch. There was a reason that others called Bastian the toughest Crow in the guild. The rock carried enough force to collide with the chicken and cause it to explode.

"You'll need more than that fatty." Bastian teased. He grabbed another stone and pitched it, his arm snapping as the stone soared at Moe.

"Unfair! Unfair! Unfair!" Moe repeated and whined as if he was some type of child throwing a temper tantrum. He was the youngest of the group, and though his appearance didn't really show it, he was a young boy at heart, and his actions sure did. Seeing the stone come at him he chose to stab it, which turned the rock into a big juicy apple. "Well, you won't be able to block this so easy! Hehehe!" He sounded like an excited child playing with a new toy, and with the ability to turn any non living thing into food, this mage was gonna have to step it up a notch! Spinning his fork back he sent the apple rolling forward, as if it was a bowling ball and his enemy was the pin. "Apple striker!" Moe called out.

Bastian smirked. The manchild exposed crucial weakness. Such a simple and direct move won't work against Bastian. No. Immediately jumped into the air in order to avoid the oncoming apple. Bastian landed on the edge of a nearby well. His eyes sharpened on Moe.

"Maybe you wouldn't be so fat if you ate apples instead of throwing them!" Bastian teased. He leaped off the edge and darted at the manchild. Spinning his body into a roundhouse kick aimed at his neck.

Moe put his hands on his hips, his form planted into the ground in front of him. "Didn't anybody tell you this is a world of magic! Not fists! And only people who have it are gonna stand on top. It doesn't matter if I'm big boned! As long as I have magic and you don't well..." Moe stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry at the man who was now flying his way, turning the ground below him into a spongecake that then rose up to form a wall, ready to soften the blow of the attack. Moe could be heard laughing from behind his confectionery safety.

A split second. Bastian's magic power erupted! What was once a small leg of a human ballooned into the kick of a giant. His leg suddenly a giant wall of thick flesh and muscle. Strong enough to kick through several houses and send a whirlwind soaring through Magnolia town. Proof to why Bastian was the fighter of Crow's Feet.

Moe had felt Bertha's wrath before! Been thrown around by her club a couple times, kicked by her fashionable high end expensive and deadly heels, and that had trained him for years to get used to this abuse. So when a giant foot came at him it was no surprise and inf act his body was used to it. As the chubby man flew into the sky all that could be heard was "NOT AGAIINNNNN!" Before he eventually landed with a thud, crashing down onto a house. KO.

Bastian reverted his spell and walked up to Moe. His eyes looking down pitifully at the defeated man. The damage was impressive. But he considered something like that a little love-tap. After all, he pulled back the kick before completely going through with the motion. Couldn't risk killing someone with valuable information! Bastian kneeled over the body, surrounded in debris in a now nearly demolished house.

"So, what're you guys doing? Pirates aren't for raiding without the prospect of finding treasure."

Preparing his dramatic speech, Moe only had enough energy for a few words. "A pirate never tells!" he said with a smirk before his head fell over and his body became limp! He had been knocked out!

"hey, wake up! I'm not done with you." Bastian grabbed the fatty's head and slammed it against the floor. But the man was gone. *I can't even use him as a hostage. I doubt the others give two shits about him.*

Bastian spat and started off towards the others.

## Two Dumb Apes

Larry stepped forward, seeing the two lava apes he took a big puff of his magical cigarettes, releasing a cloud of white from a magical circle that formed ten or so giant white fists that flew forward in order to punch the apes! Though it didn't do much damage, it managed to keep them busy. "That all ya got?" Larry coughed a bit, smokers lung.

"All I got? Nah, this is tip of the iceberg at best. My only limit is what I can think up, which is sure as hell a lot more than what you can do!" Uriel shouted at the man. He stayed atop his perch. While he wasn't really afraid of the big guy down there, he knew being caught wouldn't be a fun day for him. The two gorillas roared as they fought against the smoke fists, flaring up with more heat as they grew frustrated.

Uriel formed a bow of molten rock in his hand, forming a volcanic arrow alongside of it. While normally lava would make a terrible bow, what could one say? Magic can do some weird crap. Uriel let out a flurry of burning arrows to rain down on the smoker.

The man looked up, and with a single puff combined with a signature cough smoke covered the field. While the man had already shot the arrows by the time this happened, it would block his vision momentarily, at least allowing Larry to maneuver around freely while continuing to feed his vision blocking weapon. Still, he had to stay clear of the those monkeys! And his enemy! Still, he wasn't quick enough to avoid everything, an an arrow or two managed to hit, but thanks to magic, he was okay.

The massive smoke cloud came as a surprise to Uriel. “Pretty long drag there, you know that is terrible for your lungs, right?” While this did ruin Uriel’s vantage point, it did little to stop his plan. Using the lava arrows piercing the ground, Uriel used his magic to shift them into a murder of crows like he had done earlier.

The crows cawed as they came to life, stuck in the field of smoke. What do birds do in a panic? They fly wildly. It wasn’t a sure fire way of hitting Larry, but it was better than nothing. Creating a few more birds, Uriel had them circle the perimeter of the smoke cloud, along with the gorillas. This was to make it so if Larry snuck out of the smoke, he would quickly be created by angry volcanic animals. “Maybe I have a way of dealing with that cloud a little faster, though...” Uriel said aloud to himself as he watched his creations move about.

The flock of birds had managed to find Larry but only briefly before he vanished into the veil again. Now he had an opportunity to strike! "White launcher" Larry called out, taking a big hit as a white magic circle appeared, releasing a compacted mist-shaped missile that aimed at his enemies creations in an attempt to take them out!

Several birds were hit, taking them out and the lava splattered across the ground. "Looks like his magic has a little more offense then expected, it doesn't just smell awful," Uriel joked as he had to take the time to create more birds. However, doing this he opted to upgrade them a little. "I may be in Crow Feet, but I could use some larger wings for now!" exclaimed Uriel as a flock of eagles soared over the ash cloud.

The eagles and the remaining crows flew to the outside of the ash cloud and began to flap their wings. Within a few moments, the smoke field Larry had created had been blown away, revealing the large man one again. Seeing him, Uriel snapped his fingers. The two gorillas charged at Larry, planning to pulverize and scorch the man. Not content with this, Uriel then had his assorted flock of birds begin to fly around Larry and the gorillas. "If they can fly fast enough, if the gorillas can hold him in long enough, the air in there should become scorching to any living thing. Not to mention how breathing would become harder and harder."

As the lava beasts pecked and pounded, Larry was quickly subdued! How could his smoke have been blown away so easily... in the chaos his pack of cigarettes flew across the concrete as the animals attacked him and without magic of his own he was defenseless! With one final puff, Larry releases a small cloud of smoke, not enough to do anything but more like acting as his final words before he finally gave up.

Uriel watched the man fall and his cigarettes, the source of his magic, slide away. Clapping his hands, the volcanic animals dispersed, pooling into lava on the ground that quickly hardened into stone. Hopping down to get a closer look at the man, Uriel squatted next to him. "Hey, you alive? I got some questions and it would kinda suck if you kicked the bucket," Uriel said loudly as he jabbed two fingers into the man's face, going from his nose to his forehead and finally hitting his eye.

It didn't matter, the man was out and Uriel couldn't fix that. Letting out a sigh, Uriel stood back up. *Maybe the others had better luck,* thought Uriel as he headed back towards to where the others were before they got split up.

## Music To My Ears

Curly took a few seeds from his pouch, tossing them like a ball, up, down, up down, catching it every time before gazing at his enemy. "Bertha'd like a pretty boy like you." He grinned, tossing the seeds in front of him, magic circles appeared on the ground before a wolf made of shrubs appeared, running toward the man! "Think I'll bring you alive!" Curly had his prioritize straight, making his Lady happy!

“Guess this is what mage life is about. Haven’t been here even a few minutes and I’m in a fight.” Alexius shrugged his shoulders with a laugh as the wolf approached him closely. Alexius rose his finger into the air, a small Magic circle forming around it as he began to right in the air, small purple letters appearing before him as he finished his motion, slashing his arm through the writing, sending a purple wave towards the shrub wolf, wilting the creature to nothingness.

“Dark Écriture: Wilt.” Alexius uttered, smiling behind the wave of wilted plants, his presence becoming more menacing as he stood, his smil slowly disappearing to reveal a more stern and oddly handsome expression as he preformed his past movements once again, sending the same purple wave at Curly, his hair blowing back as he did so, aiming to wilt the man’s body away where he stood.

"Good luck with that!" Curly said, leaping back and throwing even more seeds forword, springing from the earth was a massive group of carnivorous flytraps, some wilting once the spell hit but a few stragglers had managed to survive and they were hungry! "Your fancy magic doesn't have anything on us." Curly was referring to the fact that he, along with the rest of his team, only used holder magics! This was due to being unable to learn true magic.

“Fancy magic? If you wanna see fancy magic, I’ll show you fancy magic!” Alexius exclaimed, running his fingers through his hair before holding out his hand. Moments later, a magic circle appearing on in his palm as an illuminated stick like object appeared in his hand. As the light disappeared it would reveal a flute made of bone, a weird energy emanated from it as he pulled to his mouth a began to blow.

The flute began to sing a beautiful and eerie tune, sending chills down the backs of all who hear it. As he played the song, his fingers running up and down the instrument, the ground began to rumble under them, the eeriness of the song increasing more and more. Instantly skeletal arms ripped from the ground, emerging from the soil below and charging at Curly. “Something most do know about Fiore is that our grounds are lined with bodies, the bodies of the fallen, both old and young, and nobody seems to know why. Coincidence? I think not.” Alexius spoke in a low tone as the skeletons charged at Curly some armed with weapons and others with their hair hands.

Now, being a pirate and all, this wasn't the first time Curly had dealt with the undead but it was the first time he was doing it alone! Everyone knew that fire was their weakness, but he controlled plants not fire! He panicked, but knew he had to stay strong for his captain! He would fight them! Throwing a few seeds in the undead army's direction, a giant tree sprung to life right in the middle of the battle field, it's giant roots twisting and curling, carving their path in the earth as it attacked the army of undead, it was a tough fight considering the magic imbued into the skeletons, one that wouldn't end so easy. Skeletons escaped the trees wrath, heading right for Curly who chose to do what any reasonable person would in the situation... RUN!

“Um...After him! I guess.” Alexius said, scratching the back of his head as the skeletons continued to run after the man, moving his flute to his side and waiting for something else to happen.

Digging around in his pouch, Curly desperately searched for more seeds only to find there weren't any! While many of the skeleton soldiers had been fought off by his tree, he was running from about ten or so and he was ready to give up! Running around the battlefield he eventually tripped on a root, the skeletons grabbing his leg and dragging him before beating him with their hardened bones and various old weaponry. "Ahhhh!!!" curly screamed as the skeletons got him, throwing him up against the tree he had grown, an large apple falling from it's mighty branch and landing on his head with a THUD. Blackness covered his vision. Out like a light.

## When the Pink Lady Sings!

Whack!

Bastian's hands worked as fast as his legs. Jabs. Crosses. Hooks. A roundhouse kick. And the five pirate guards of the pink ship littered the earth around him. Bastian tightened the wraps around his hands. At least the other pirates in the town, after watching their commanders get demolished, took their chances and fled the scene. Thus causing the plundering to slowly fizzle. Allowing more and more citizens to fight back or hide. But this wasn't over. Not by a long shot. The others should know to meet Bastian where the giant pink ship was docked.

The bitch behind all of this was in there. But more importantly, the apple of their eye. *Pirates looting this town can't be a coincidence. They're close to Hargeon's Loot.*

Uriel ran up beside his comrade. "How'd your fight go? Mine went well. Smokey, but nothing my pets couldn't take care of," Uriel said with a cocky smile. Looking up at the ship, Uriel's faced pinched up, as though he has just had something really sour. "God this ship is an eyesore. Who paints a pirate ship pink? Imagine the history books, 'Hargeon's Loot discovered by a ship that looks like a giant floating peach.' Makes me mad just thinking about it." Uriel babbled all of this as he looked behind him, sighing as the duo were still awaiting the one who made them a trio. "I hope Alexius being the last one to show up doesn't become a trend."

"It already is." Bastian smirked. Uriel was right though. Crow's Feet had a historical obligation to find this treasure. No way the legendary treasure cove could be found by something so...so...disgustingly ostentatious. Bastian took a deep breath before his eyes narrowed. An attempt to look deeper into the ship above.

"Do you know what's Hargeon's Loot?" Bastian asked Uriel. Although smart in his own right, Bastian specialized in combative magic as a fighter. Unlike Alexius who mastered the magical items they captured, and Uriel who possessed almost encyclopedic knowledge of the many legends of Earth Land.

"Frankly, I'm not sure. I haven't looked into it to much. That makes it a fun surprise though, if the loot it good at least," Uriel said as he looked out towards the ocean. It was true, Uriel hadn't looked at the supposed riches available. He tried to not make a habit of this, but sometimes his desire to read about the treasures was minimal compared to hunting for them. Plus, he had other interests. A good book on mythology could help him craft new spells to make getting the treasure easier. Plus, for Uriel's money, was more fun to read about. "I'd imagine some sort of riches, like money, jewels, and precious metals. Probably some artifacts as well. Most importantly though, hopefully some sort of magical tools."

“Sorry for the wait guys! Had to make sure to give my friends on the other side proper re-burials.” Alexius spoke, approaching the group as they were engaged in conversation. “So, who lost and who won?” Alexius questioned, looking between the both of them with a mischievous smile.

"You're a headache." Bastian groaned at Alexius before looking to Uriel. "Remember our promise." The credo of the Crow Feet. They were much more than the average burglar. It was for this reason that many thieves who attempted to join the guild found themselves failing. A thief with morality? Crow Feet existed as a walking hypocrisy. But Crow Feet existed as so much more than a ragtag group of kleptomaniac magicians.

They followed an undying pursuit of magic!

Without warning, Bastian launched himself onto the ship and landed with a loud enough thud to draw the attention of the other pirates.

"Who's the captain!?"

Bertha had been turned around, her thin body holding the large mace that looked as if it should have been crushing her! Luckily, though not visible, she had the muscle to back it all up. These must have been those men, the ugly crows that kept swarming around these parts looking for a perch. Well, her ship wasn't it! Turning around slowly but surely, the woman faced the man who had so rudely jumped aboard. Her face showed absolute disgust as she waved her mace behind her as if she was preparing to bat. "I don't remember invitin' you aboard." The woman said, gritting her teeth.

"So I'm gonna give you a chance to raise that white flag of yours. I hate to kill such ugly boys, their lifes hard enough!" Bertha cackled, she was obviously making a rude remark while also claiming that she had the beauty of some type of goddess? And as long as she was skinny, well, it might as well have been!

"You are calling us ugly when this is your ship and those three idiots we just beat down are your men? I'm questioning your eyesight, think about getting glasses ma'am," Uriel responded as the woman looked upon them. "So, my friends, what do you reckon? Don't recall bringing a white flag with us on this adventure, so I guess we are just going to have to decline her offer.

“I’m sorry, Uriel. But that rant of yours was not funny nor insulting. You tried though buddy.” Alexius joked, leaping onto the ship behind the duo and paying Uriel on the shoulder. He looked the woman up and down, then turned his eyes to the ship.

“As for you.” Alexius said, turning his attention back to Bertha. “You call us ugly, but the only positive factor about you is your body. You laugh like a witch, grit your teeth, and your face is so scrunched up you look like an asshole, literally. And on top of that, your ship is horrendous” Alexius spoke, his smily demeanor gone once again as he turned his wrath on the woman, his gold eyes peering into her soul, judging her every flaw and feature with his eyes and words. If words could cut, she’d be dead already.

"Alex, my friend, the only funny thing about you is your face!" Uriel shouted as he jumped on the ship as well. Looking at the women, Uriel did have to admit she was rather attractive. "Ditch the ship and the attitude, bet you could find a man who isn't as dumb as your crew," Uriel remarked as he looked around the deck on the ship. "Didn't I send a gorilla up here? Where is my gorilla?"

Bertha seemed... unimpressed. Honestly their snide remarks didn't mean all that much to her, the so called 'crew' she had was useless, and she practically did everything herself, bragging about beating them was a like bragging about stepping on a bug. No one cared and honestly it was kind of annoying. Then they made remarks on her beauty... all of which she knew couldn't possibly be true! "Well, I sure guess that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it's just a sad day when all the boys go BLIND!" Bertha called out, tapping her foot the ship pulled from the dock! "A little late huh?" The woman grinned with a chuckle, her plans had already been put into action, during all of this chaos, one of her men had got what she came for and now they could head to their destination! All she needed to do was teach these boys a little lesson in how to treat a lady.

Bastian sighed. Uriel made a stupid remark. Then Alexius admonished him and basically reworded the same remark. This was why Bastian did the talking. But at least they tried, right? Either way, Bastian stood prepared for battle when-

The ship started moving?!

Fucking great! But at least they could find out more about her progress chasing Hagreon's Loot. Usually pirates like her would leave the port when they'd find what they needed. And to risk taking three captives might signify the importance of whatever they found. Bastian's eyes scanned the area. Ignorant to the beauty before him.

"So," Bastian started. Awkwardly breaking into the conversational exchange of childish name calling. "I'm guessing you have it?" He asked nonchalantly. "Hm. Maybe stepping aboard this ugly ship wasn't too bad." The ebony mage raised his hand. It ballooned into a massive fist as he launched a devastating punch. An attempt to send her flying off her own ship.

"You found the next step to our treasure!"

Uriel felt his stomach churn. *The ship was moving out of the dock,* Uriel's mind race as he collapsed on the deck of the ship. His mind began to barely function. "Moving, bad. Body hates it," Uriel sputtered out as slightly looked up. He heard rumors about this being the case for those with his magic, but he never really trusted it. He could fly on his birds, why not some stupid boat?

“You good?” Alexius said to Uriel, seemingly ignoring the theatrics going on behind him for the time being, watching as Uriel could barely move, his face going pale, almost as though he was gonna throw up. “If you puke, try and puke on the pirates, if you don’t mind.” Alexius jokes, poking Uriel in his side as he squatted down to where he lied sick on the ground.

The first was met with metal, a giant mace capable of negating magic which caused the mages hand to.. revert to normal? The woman tossed the weapon over her shoulder, it was shocking that with such a feminine stature she was able to lift the mighty club! "I'm a pirate thats real good at takin' out the trash, specially if it's magical honey, so send them spells all you'd like... it's gonna take a lot more than that."

As for the boy who turned oddly pale, and looked sick, Bertha laughed. "Ahhhhahahahahah! Someone's seasick! PATHETIC!" Did these three really beat Larry, Moe, and Curly? Honestly she doubted it, they seemed even dumber than her loyal officers! "Tell you what boys, you back down now and I'll show a little mercy! I'll only kill one of ya!" Bertha slapped her knee and once again laughed, the thought of fighting them was just too funny to her! They didn't stand a chance, or so she believed.