You're the Best Man, Cleveland Brown

**You're the Best Man, Cleveland Brown** is

the season one finale.

## Synopsis

The Brown-Tubbs Family is read Loretta's will, wherein the gives all of her money to Junior and refuses to let Cleveland have a single cent. Meanwhile, LeVar and Evelyn get remarried.

## Plot

At the reading of Loretta's will to his dismay, Cleveland finds out that Cleveland Jr. will inherit all of his ex-wife's belongings and that Jr. is forbidden to disclose the amount or give any of the estate to Cleveland. Cleveland stews while Jr. treats the family to gifts. When his parents, Cookie, who is 57-years-old and Freight Train, who is 60-years old, announce they're moving back to Stoolbend and plan to remarry, Jr. offers to pay for the wedding. Freight Train hesitantly offers Cleveland the position of Best Man at Cookie's insistence, but when he finds he has more of a kindred spirit in Robert Tubbs, Donna's ex-husband, Freight Train dumps Cleveland as his best man in favor of Robert. However, they both have so much in common that neither one shows up for the wedding.

Cookie decides to give up on Freight Train and head back home. Cleveland rushes in to confront Freight Train at his apartment and finds the two of them sleeping off a night of drinking. After trying to fight, Cleveland hits Freight Train with the realization that he is a coward, afraid of marrying Cookie. Freight Train takes this to heart and they rush back to the house to stop Cookie from leaving. They find the wedding guests have remained at the house long after the ceremony was supposed to take place, taking advantage of the food and drinks. Just as Cookie is heading for the door, Freight Train confesses his feeling for Cookie and they agree to finish the ceremony. Freight Train offers Cleveland the position of Best Man again but he turns it down in favor of giving away his mother.

## Characters

### Major Roles

* Cleveland Brown
* Donna Tubbs-Brown
* Cleveland Junior
* Roberta Tubbs
* Rallo Tubbs
* LeVar Brown
* Evelyn Brown
* Robert Jones

### Minor Roles

* Len Stein
* Tim the Bear
* Lester Krinklesac
* Holt Richter
* Gus
* Reverend Jenkins
* Trixie Krinklesac
* Earth, Wind, & Fire
* Herbert the Pevert (Cameo)
* Peter Griffin (Cameo)
* Glenn Quagmire (Cameo)
* Kendra Krinklesac (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Terry Kimple (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Arianna the Bear (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Coach McFall (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Federline Jones (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Arch (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Principal Farquhare (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Dr. Fist (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Hall Angel (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Oates Devil (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Raymond the Bear (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Walt (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Auntie Momma (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Derek (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Oliver Wilkerson (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Yvette (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Mr. Armstrong (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Lloyd Waterman (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Mickey Rourke (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Tila Tequila (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Dan Rather (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* AK Rocka (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Fabriza (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Slim Biggins (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Jane (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Kimmy (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Mrs. Eck (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* E.L. Fudge (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Chanel Williams (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Rapist Reindeer (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Xianhanxinganwa (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Judge Dave (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Bailiff Tony (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Jackson Patterson (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* August Patterson (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Ryan Sanderson (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Tyne Daly (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Chad & Chad (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Barack Obama (Pictured)
* Jesus Christ (Pictured)
* Holt's Mama (Mentioned)
* Papa Bear (Mentioned)
* Maria Conchita Gonzalez Ramirez (Deleted Scenes)

## Quotes

**Cleveland**: Oh, Donna. I'm so excited! I thought this day would never come!
**Donna**: Cleveland, it's the reading of your ex-wife's will.
**Cleveland**: I know!

**Len**: Cleveland, I know how difficult this must be for you. Your cheating ex-wife got everything in the divorce and gave it all to your dim-witted or possibly brilliant son.
**Cleveland**: Dang.

**Cleveland**: I am very glad she's dead.
*[Gus plays a rim shot]*

**Junior**: Mr. Griffin had to get a series of new jobs. I didn't see it but I heard it was hilarious. Not as hilarious as it would have been two or three years ago but there were still some solid laughs there.

**Junior**: Daddy, if this money's gunna come between us, I'll give it all back.
*[Rallo takes out a knife]*
**Rallo**: *[mumbling]* Best not make him give all back, kill you, you take my money.

**Donna**: Sweet greens and submarines!

**Screenwriting Teacher**: And that is what we call an "Uh-oh" moment. Any questions?
**Student**: Have you ever had a screenplay produced?
**Screenwriting Teacher**: Yes, I had a screenplay submitted.
**Student**: I said produ-
**Screenwriting Teacher**: Class dismissed.

**Cleveland**: Remarrying dad? Excuse me.
**Evelyn**: What are you doing?
**Cleveland**: I'm looking for your marbles, cuz apparently you've lost them.

**LeVar**: What the hell you know about romance, Clarissa? You been with, what? 5 women your whole life? I've pleasured over 500 ladies in my time.
**Cleveland**: And one guy.

**Donna**: Every woman loves a bad boy. They're dangerous, passionate, unpredictable. Just when you're about to yell at him for punching out a cop's horse, he does something nice for you like shave your name in the side of his head. You try to tame him but you can't. He's a wild animal ... but eventually, you settle for stable and predictable.
**Cleveland**: I bet you can't predict what I'm gunna try tonight.
**Donna**: *[sigh]* I bet I can.

**Roberta**: Junior, you need my help. No one knows more about weddings than I do. I even saw most of *Bride Wars* before my body shut down to protect itself.

**Junior**: Yeah, crème brûlée is a great dessert. Maybe I'll also order a time machine to take this wedding back to 1998!

**Evelyn**: Honestly, Roberta. I don't know how your mother ended up with such an attractive daughter.
**Roberta**: *[sighs]* Look, I'll tell you the same thing I told my P.E. teacher, Miss Raybourne. Look at 'em all you want but if you try to touch 'em, I will take a bat to your hairy knees.
**Evelyn**: Mmm. Lord, help these children today. No, I was just wondering if you'd make my wedding more beautiful by being a bridesmaid.
**Roberta**: Oh, Miss Cookie I would love to! *[hugs Evelyn; whispers to her]* You can touch one.

**Rallo**: So, tomorrow's your wedding night and you know what that means.
**LeVar**: Yes, I do.
**Rallo**: What does it mean?

**Evelyn**: And what have you boys been up to?
**LeVar**: Just talking to Black Stewie, here. *[referring to Rallo]*

**Holt**: Freight Train. Cool name. How'd you get it?
**LeVar**: I destroyed yo mama on the train track.

**Cleveland**: My dad asked me to be his BM!
**Donna**: What?
**Cleveland**: His best man!
**Donna**: Oh.

*[Holt and Lester watch a stripper perform]*
**Holt**: Woo!
**Lester**: Yeah, that's right!
**Holt**: Trixie!
**Lester**: Damn good brass monkey, Trixie. *Damn* good.
**Trixie**: Pleasure doing business with you boys.
**Lester**: Great seeing ya, sis. Call mom. She worries.
**Trixie**: You know it, Lester. And I'll see you at our next family reunion.

**Tim**: Eh, the father-son relationship is tricky. My dad and I didn't talk for years after I stole Arianna away from him.
**Cleveland**: What!? You did!?
**Tim**: *[sigh]* I've-I've told you that story like six times. You know, y-you do-you don't listen too good. You do really shi-
**Cleveland**: Hey look, my dad's back!

**Quagmire**: Well, they made it through the whole season. Now can I have my own show, Peter?
**Peter**: Quagmire, you're a rapist.
## Trivia

* Loretta's will is read to The Brown-Tubbs Family and she leaves all of her money to Junior and refuses to let Cleveland have any of it, possibly out of spite.
* Len Stein calls Junior "dim-witted or possibly brilliant", entertaining the running gag that proposes the question of whether Junior is smart or stupid.
* The fourth wall is broken when a screenwriting teacher uses this episode's first act twist as an example of an "Uh-Oh" moment to teach his students.
* No man in The Brown Family has lived past the age of 63.
* Cleveland has slept with 5 women throughout this life, which obviously includes Donna and Loretta.
	+ Another one of Cleveland's exes must have been "Maxine". An offscreen character from another show, who was only mentioned in the *Family Guy* episode, "*Death Lives*".
* LeVar has slept with roughly 500 women throughout his life. Included is obviously Evelyn, among several women he's cheated on her with.
* Evelyn says that Cleveland is LeVar's only son, denying the existence of Broderick Brown.
* It's revealed that LeVar has hundreds of other sons that nobody else knows about.
* Lester has a sister named Trixie, who works as a stripper. Lester, being the incestuous hick he is, often goes there to watch her perform.

### Cultural References

* The title of this episode is a pun on the movie, "*You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown*".
* This episode harbors several references to *Family Guy*.
	+ The events of Loretta's affair with Glenn Quagmire are brought up multiple times.
	+ Behind door number two, Herbert the Pervert rides a donkey.
	+ LeVar calls Rallo "Black Stewie".
	+ Peter and Quagmire attend LeVar and Evelyn's wedding.
* Len Stein parodies *Let's Make a Deal* during the will reading, by asking Junior to risk it all and see what lies behind door number two.
* Cleveland and Holt joke about *Two and a Half Men*.
* Junior buys a *Boba Fett* costume.
* Cleveland has a credit card for *Magic Johnson's* bank.
* Rallo calls Junior "Donald Plump", which is a pun on *Donald Trump*.
* LeVar had an affair with *Greta Van Sustren*.
* LeVar gave up on cheating on his wife after hearing about *9/11*.
* Evelyn contrasts Donna from *Oprah Winfrey*.
* Roberta saw most of *Bride Wars* before her body shut down to protect itself.
* *Canon in D* plays at LeVar and Evelyn's wedding.

### Continuity

* The Brown-Tubbs Family is read Loretta's will, following her death in "Gone With the Wind".
* Loretta is called an adulterer, calling back to her sex date with Glenn Quagmire in the *Family Guy* episode, "*The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire*".
* LeVar says he's slept with 500 women throughout his life and Cleveland can't help but to add that he also slept with one guy too, reminding him of the time he slept with the pre-op transgender, Auntie Momma in the episode "A Brown Thanksgiving".

### Deleted Scenes

* Junior and Rallo talk about Loretta coming back from the dead as a zombie.
* Junior saying that there's a lot of juicy details in the will.
* Junior buys a shwarma machine.
* Cleveland breaks the fourth wall to bless Magic Johnson.
* Junior mentions having brainstorms.
* Junior has a brainstorm.
* Cleveland talks about how good crease is.
* Cleveland tells Donna he loves her and tries to have sex with her more.
* Cleveland being a crying little piss pants about being LeVar's best man.
* Cleveland explaining his "Best Man" joke.
* Cleveland makes an assumption about the stripper LeVar and Robert are with.
* Tim hugs Cleveland with his dick out.
* Evelyn says she doesn't need a wedding and Junior throws a fit over it.
* Rallo pretends to get tired and then starts singing "*Get On Up*".