Ingred's Journal Entry 11: Burrows and Bugs

*The font is written with a steady hand and better-quality ink than what had been used on the road. Sketches of the lightning bugs can be seen in the corners of the pages, along with a fun doodle of Marisol being eaten by the momma bug.*

Er… I don’t really want to talk about this mission. I will though, since my feelings aren’t as important as writing these events down. It went oddly. I mean, I did my job and it went fine, but some things could have been better. I got hurt pretty bad. Lots of us did. Lily had to pluck me out of the fray, although I still have no idea what happened. Did I pass out? Was it magic? I don’t have enough experience to say for sure, but I believe it may be the second. As much as that disturbs me, I must admit, I do appreciate the help. It was frustrating though, having to spend so much time patching myself up. I feel like I haven’t done enough for the party this week. Nor have I done much for this *job*. Anyone can cut up a bug. So many of these people can patch themselves up. Why need me? Not to add the cleric has been healing folks too… I feel quite useless.

I kept hearing things that night in the quarry, too. I woke Lily up but she said that she didn’t hear anything. I don’t like it. Am I losing it? I hope not. Perhaps I can get some better sleep now that we’re back at headquarters. And Seipora, I guess. Does everyone in Soulfire have nightmares? I don’t think I can comfort multiple people at once. I suck at balancing *one* person at a time. I think Seipora feels a little bit better, now? I haven’t pulled out that story since Bo started learning goblin. Still has his terrible handwriting in the margins. Good Lord Jonsen, is it hard to translate. I wish I had taken notes when Seipora was giving me pointers. Anyways...

She seems pretty up and down emotionally. I don’t know everything about her past, but if she’s willing to let it affect her that much then she is weaker than I originally thought. She needs to take the minotaur by the horns and work to improve herself if she wants to stop her past from haunting her. Not... not like I’m one to talk, but I’m trying. You gotta keep trying. Can’t stop trying.

To add, I… uh. Uhm. Don’t get a lot of hugs. She is really... “hug-y”. Uh… golly, I don’t wanna get mushy about it but… ehm… It was… nice? hm. *Wow*, I am touch starved.

Gosh, why is it so hard to talk to Marisol? She didn’t want to chat after her night watch… and today? I just wanted to show her the poppy seeds I’ve been sprouting. I regret teasing her but honestly I wish that we could communicate better without her acting so harshly. Now I have her doormat and I don’t know what to do with it. Hm. I think stepping away from the game plan earlier may have lowered her opinion of me (And our earlier dispute....) It wasn’t intentional, I just don’t like being a handicap. I have to get close to be helpful, not to mention I get antsy if I sit around too much. I don’t know. I’ll try to patch things up. But she may need some time to absorb all of that drama from earlier.

Not to sound like a parent or anything, but I am proud of how K has handled himself recently. How he’s been taking into consideration the party’s thoughts and safety before he acts, and talking to all of us genuinely… He’s really grown since I first met him. And I’ve only known him for a few weeks, now. Caving in the mine earlier was a bit of a slip up, but he’s working on it! It’s the effort that I really appreciate. What a champ.

The other man In our party, though… what a *mess*. I didn’t quite see what happened before the cave in, but he did something strange. The others seemed upset at him too. Whatever. I don’t care to even acknowledge Anthos. It’s hard to avoid at times, but talking to the guy leaves a bitter feeling in my gut. Not like… *indigestion*, but… I don’t know. I’m not very happy about his actions earlier. And I don’t think he’s willing to admit that killing those goblins was a mistake. Those folks didn’t know what they were doing… couldn’t see it coming. The poor fools...