Audrey's Cold/Transcript

It was past midnight on Harvey Street, and Audrey was sleeping in her bed. She was turning to this side and that, a smile on her face. She was having a great dream.

"You see, guys?" she mumbled. "I told you ice cream cones made of potato chips would be a great idea... Next up, s'mores pizzas! Who's with me?"

Just then, her stomach grumbled loudly, interrupting her dream. Her eyes shot open.

"Huh?"

Audrey sat up in her bed and placed one hand on her belly. It was still growling. She was hungry.

"A quick midnight snack, and then it's back to bed," Audrey decided.

She lowered the covers from her body, and then stepped out of her bed. As quietly as she could, she made her way out of her bedroom. While she was sneaking through the hallway, she heard some snoring coming from an open doorway. When Audrey peeked in, she saw that her older sister Zoe was already asleep.

"Sleep tight, my little angel," Audrey snarked under her breath.

She made her way over to the stairs, stepped over one, and then made her way down as carefully as possible. Soon she'd arrived at the bottom and crept over to the kitchen. There she made herself a sandwich, getting some creamy peanut butter and grape jelly from the refrigerator.

"Nothing like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to help you get to sleep!" Audrey whispered to herself.

She sat down at the dining table, held her sandwich in her hands and took a single bite - but just like that, her head plopped down onto the table. She began to snore. But what she didn't realize was that she'd left the fridge open, and waves of chilly air drifted out from its opening...

The next morning, the whole house was filled with freezing air. Audrey was still sleeping at the table, but when she finally awoke, her teeth were chattering like crazy. She looked down at her barely eaten sandwich and yelped in realization.

"The fridge!"

She got up from her seat and tried to run to the fridge, but she wound up sliding her way there. The floor felt slippery, like it was covered with ice. She pushed the door shut, and then sat down in front of the fridge, shivering helplessly. She was really, really cold, and she really wanted to warm up... When she tried to stand up, however, she slipped and fell.

And the next thing she knew, she was sliding all over her house - not just the floors, but the walls, the ceilings and even some of her furniture as well. When she slid to a stop, she was back in her bed, still shuddering uncontrollably. She picked up her blanket and tried to put it over herself, but the blanket had become brittle from the chill and broke into pieces. Audrey just kept shivering, slowly sliding off her bed and into the bathroom.

Zoe looked on in disinterest; to keep herself warm, she was wearing her bathrobe, slippers, a scarf and some gloves.

"Well, if it isn't the Snow Fairy," Zoe said, sarcastically.

"Oh, Zoe..." Audrey's voice sounded different than usual, it sounded raspy and stuffed-up. "I just dod't feel like byself."

"Must be because this stupid chill made you catch a cold!" said Zoe.

Audrey stood up and turned around, revealing that there were bags under her eyes. Her nose was also a bright red shade, as red as blood.

"Dod't be stupid, Zoe," Audrey snapped weakly. "I dod't get codes. I just get sick."

"Isn't that what having a cold is?" Zoe rolled her eyes.

"No, sis." Audrey sniffled. "If I had a code, I'd be sdeezidg like the whale frob... frob..."

"Ah-- HAH--!" Audrey suddenly shut her eyes and threw her upper body backward. Then she brought it back forward as she sneezed, clenching her fists. "AHHHH-TCHOO!!!"

A good amount of saliva was expelled from Audrey's mouth, and then she sulked.

"Ugh..."

"Yep. That is definitely a cold," Zoe said.

Audrey placed her head on her forehead, which felt as cold as her skin.

"I cad't get a cold," she told her sister, "because thed I cad't protect Harvey Street!"

She rubbed her nose once with her hand, but then felt another sneeze coming on.

"HAH, AH--" Without thinking, Audrey pulled the front of her pajama top up over her mouth and let loose. "HAH-CHU!!!"

When her sneeze had finished, Audrey opened her eyes to see what it had done to her top.

"Oh, grody!"

"This is why someone thought sneezing into your arm is a better idea," Zoe snarked.

"I guess so..." Audrey rubbed her nose again with her hand, more slowly this time. She then turned toward the door.

"I'b dot sick," Audrey convinced herself as she walked out. "I'b goidg to rud this street."

A couple of hours later, Audrey was now in her regular clothes and had stepped outside. That being said, she still wasn't feeling good - her throat was sore and dry, and her nose wasn't only severely congested, but tickled a lot as well. She couldn't even find someone to speak to without pausing to release another sneeze.

"Ehhh... EHHH-TSHUU!!" Audrey doubled over again, and then sulked. Lucretia and Tiny walked up to her, apparently not having heard her sneeze.

"Hey, Audrey," Tiny greeted her.

"We were wondering if you had any cool ideas today," said Lucretia.

Audrey turned around, one hand on her head. "As a batter of fact, I do..."

But Lucretia and Tiny then gasped when they saw her unwell expression. The former threw her hand over her mouth.

"Oh, my goodness! What's wrong with you?" Lucretia wanted to know. "You're paler than a baby!"

"Looks like she's got a cold," Tiny said to Lucretia.

Lucretia gasped again, this time in concern. "A cold?!"

Audrey sniffled as she made her way up to them. "I had a dreab where I fidally bade ice creab codes bade of potato chips..."

But before she could say any more, her eyes widened as her nose twitched furiously. Another sneeze was on the way, and she didn't have the power to hold it in. Audrey tilted her neck back, eyelids lowering as she inhaled.

"Huh, HEH, AH... AAAHHH-CHOOOOOO!!!"

She shot her neck forwards as she released the sneeze, with a good amount of spray being released from her mouth. Unfortunately for her, both Lucretia and Tiny were hit by the spray, to their disgust.

"Ew!!" Lucretia cried as Audrey rubbed her nose again, this time with her arm.

"Say it, don't spray it!" Tiny said as he tried to wipe the saliva off his face with his arm.

"S-sorry..." Audrey apologized.

"I don't wanna disappoint you, Audrey, but you're too sick to play," said Lucretia, wiping her face off as well.

"Ndo, Lucretia, I'b okay..." It was pretty clear Audrey was lying, and she sniffled to prove it. "Hodest."

"Why don't you go home and get some rest?" Lucretia suggested, politely. "Nothing personal, Audrey."

"We just can't have you sneezing all over us!" Tiny mentioned.

Some other kids - including FruFru, The Bow, Gerald, and even the Bloogey Boys, among some other kids the Harvey Girls didn't know much about - heard what Tiny had said and began to panic. Audrey, knowing she didn't have a choice, sighed quietly as she walked away from Lucretia and Tiny.

Soon Audrey was in the Harvey Girls' trailer, sitting on the couch. She was holding a box of tissues in her lap, and having a sickly sad expression on her face.

"Oh, man... I feel horrible..." Audrey lamented. She exploded with another sneeze. "AAAAAAH-SHOOOOO!!!"

Audrey placed her forefinger underneath her nose and pulled a tissue out from her box.

"Oh, who ab I kiddidg? I've got a code, do doubt about it." Another sniffle, and then she sneezed again. "HAAAAAHHHH-CHUUUU!!!"

It wasn't until after this sneeze that she got to use her tissue, albeit by just wiping her nose with it instead of blowing.

"I'd better take care of this before it gets out of hand."

Audrey picked up her smartphone and dialed a number, before waiting for an answer.

Dot was reading a textbook at her desk when she heard her smartphone ring. She reached over and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Dot, I'b sick." Audrey wiped her nose a bit more. "Cad you escort be to the doctor's?"

"Oh, sure, Audrey." An expression of concern quickly appeared on Dot's face. Then she added, rapidly, "I'll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot grease griddle in the middle of August in--"

Audrey didn't have the time to let her finish. "Yeah, okay, Dot, thadks. AH-SHEEEEWWWW!!!"

Dot winced as Audrey sneezed directly into her ear through the smartphone, but finished their call with a "Gesundheit." Audrey was still rubbing her nose with her tissue when she'd thanked her and hung up.

A few minutes later, Audrey had put on some warm clothes, including a wool hat, a pink scarf and a blue jacket. She heard a knock at the door and went over to answer. When she opened it, however, it wasn't Dot, but Lotta.

"Hey, Audrey." Lotta then saw what Audrey was wearing. "Going skiing?"

"I'b sick, Lotta," Audrey corrected her. "I'b goidg to the doctor."

But Lotta winced in fear. "What?! Oh, you can't go!"

"Why dot, Lotta?"

"I know a kid who knows a kid who went to the doctor once," Lotta told her as she went inside, "and the doctor's office is a horrible, horrible place!"

"It cad't be as horrible as a code..." Audrey mentioned before she gave another sneeze. "HEHHH-CHU!" She rubbed her fist under her nose.

"Oh, it is, Audrey!" Lotta replied. "First, they make you sit in the waiting room."

"Is that the horrible part, Lotta?" Audrey snarked.

"No, it gets worse," Lotta continued. "They make you read old magazines!" Audrey gasped in fear. "Then the doctor pulls out his stethoscope..."

Another gasp from Audrey. "Ndo!"

"Yes, it's a device so sinister..." Lotta moved up to Audrey, "... so icy cold, when it touches your flesh, it..." She pulled down the collar of Audrey's shirt and pressed her forefinger right against her chest. "Sss!"

"NDO!!!" Audrey practically jumped out of her clothes and ran around the trailer in horror. "Ndo stethoscope! Ndo doctor! Ndo old bagazides! Ndo 'sss!' Ndo!!"

All of these sudden movements caused her to lose a great deal of her energy, and she fell onto the floor. When she spoke to Lotta, however, she kept her worried tone.

"Lotta, I dod't wadda go to the doctor!"

"Exactly." Lotta said with a nod. Audrey turned her head away from her for another quick sneeze.

"Haaah-tchooooo!!" Her nose began to feel a bit runny after that sneeze, but she rubbed it with one movement of her hand. Then she spoke again.

"You've gotta help be get better, Lotta." A sniffle. "Please? Would you like to be by doctor, Lotta?"

Lotta smiled. "What else are friends for?"

A few minutes later, Lotta had put on a doctor's uniform and placed Audrey on a table.

"Aaaah..." Audrey moved her neck backward, and then gave another loud sneeze into her hand. "HAH-CHEWWW!!!"

"It appears as though we'll have to plug up this nose of yours," Lotta said. "This oughta do the trick..."

She picked up a cork and pushed it into Audrey's nostril. Then she took another cork and pushed it into her friend's other nostril. "Voila."

"Aaah-ptch--" Audrey released another sneeze, but it was stifled from the corks.

"Feel better?"

"I dod't kdow..." Audrey had just enough time to say that before she sneezed again, and again. "Heh-tshh-- Hah-chh-- Ehh-tchh--"

With every sneeze that Audrey released, she began to grow in size, until - to Lotta's own surprise and fear, she was bigger than Lotta.

"Help, I'm shrinking!" Audrey's weight broke the table she was sitting on. "No, please, don't hurt me!" Lotta begged.

But Audrey realized something. "Ndo germs. Lotta, your treatbedt is workidg!"

Lotta smiled in happiness. "You thidk so?"

"Sure!" Audrey rubbed her nose gently with her arm. "At this rate, I'll be cured id ndo tibe. Id fact, I'b godda call Dot ad tell her dot to cobe. Thadks, Dr. Lotta!"

As Audrey walked away from her, Lotta told herself, "And they said I'd never make anything out of myself."

Audrey went back over to the couch and sat down on it. Seeing she had left her smartphone there, she picked it up - but when she tried to dial one number, she heard multiple being pressed.

"By fingers are too big for the buttods..." Audrey lamented. "Dr. Lotta, will you call Dot for me?"

She handed the phone to Lotta, neither of them realizing that she would regret this later.

"Sure, patient Audrey." Lotta dialed Dot's number, and she quickly answered. "Hello, Dot?"

"Hi, Lotta!" Dot greeted her.

"I'm calling on behalf of my patient Audrey."

"I'm on my way over to take her to the doctor."

"Uh, that will no longer be required," Lotta told her, causing Dot's eyes to widen. "She is in my care as of today."

"Well, I'm coming over to take a look," said Dot. Lotta's own eyes widened when she said this. "I'll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot--"

"Oh, yeah, the rabbit, don't bother, Dot!" Lotta hastily replied before she hung up. "Audrey, quick, Dot's coming! We've gotta make sure you're well, or she'll take you to the doctor!"

Lotta ran over to the sink, switched it on, then put on some rubber gloves and ran her hands underneath the water. "Don't touch me, I'm sterile!"

Then Lotta began to try some weird ways to cure Audrey. She started by putting some peanut butter on her foot, then covering it with two pieces of bread and putting her shoe on it.

"Feeling better?"

"Uh-uh." Audrey shook her head.

Then Lotta tried pulling out one of Audrey's teeth. She attached a string to a door that she then closed, but no tooth came out.

"Feeling better yet?"

"Dot really," Audrey replied. "Besides, I've already lost a tooth."

"Oh, yeah."

Lotta then began to jump on Audrey's body, which felt like it was made of rubber.

"How... about... now?" Lotta asked, each word punctuated by each time she was sent into the air.

"No."

When Lotta was done using Audrey as an improvised trampoline, she then placed a bandage on Audrey's face.

"Feeling better?"

"No." When Audrey replied, Lotta ripped the bandage off, causing her to scream in pain. "OWW!!"

Lotta placed the bandage on another side of Audrey's face.

"How about now?"

"Nope." Lotta pulled the bandage off, causing another scream of pain. "YEOWWW!!"

Lotta put it back on, this time on Audrey's hand. "How about now?"

"Uh-uh." The bandage was ripped off again. "OUUUCH!!"

After some time, Dot had made it to the Harvey Girls' trailer. She tried calling for Audrey.

"Hello, Audrey?"

"Uh-oh. It's Dot." Lotta had now given Audrey some flowers in hopes that they would cure her cold. They didn't, of course - in fact, they almost caused her to sneeze again.

"HEEEETCHHHH--" Audrey's sneeze made her grow even more, and now she was shaped like a ball.

Dot knocked on the door a couple of times.

"There's no one home!" Lotta claimed.

"Lotta, you open this door!" Dot commanded, not realizing that Lotta was rolling Audrey away. "Lotta, sometimes I just don't understand you..."

"AAAAHHHH-PTCHHHH--" A stifled sneeze from Audrey filled the air, causing Dot to cringe.

"Hey!" She walked behind the trailer, but only Lotta was there. "Okay, Lotta, where's Audrey?"

"Uh, uh..." Lotta tried to think of an excuse. "She's not here at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep..."

"Okay," Dot replied, looking a bit suspicious. "Now tell me, where were those sneezes coming from?"

"Uh, I'm not sure," Lotta lied. "Maybe I was sneezing?"

"Lotta, I've heard you sneeze before. That is not how you would sneeze..."

"Not usually, anyway."

"AaaAAAAHHH-- MPTCHHH--" Audrey suddenly sneezed again, propelling herself out of one of the trees and into Dot and Lotta's view. She smiled weakly at Dot and waved to her. "Hiya, Dot..."

Lotta held Audrey's hand with a smile as Audrey rubbed her nose with her other hand. "The leaf therapy seems to be working just fine."

"Lotta, Audrey has to see a real doctor!" Dot told her.

"No, she doesn't!" Lotta argued. "I'm taking good care of her!" She turned to Audrey. "Show her, Audrey! Say ah."

Audrey opened her mouth and tried to do as she was told. "Ah... AH-HAH, AH-HAH!!" But she suddenly doubled over as she coughed a few times, and then sulked.

"See? She's even worse than I thought!" said Dot.

Lotta was wearing a flu mask on her face, presumably to avoid the germs that had emerged from Audrey's mouth during her coughing fit. "What do you mean? She's fine."

Dot pulled the mask off her face out of anger.

"I'b okay, Dot, really!" Audrey claimed, but then felt another sneeze coming on. "Ah... AH... HUUUHHH-PTSHH--"

With that sneeze, she made herself even larger. Dot began to push her to roll her away.

"I'm taking you to the doctor right now!" said Dot.

"Hey! That's my patient!" Lotta ran to the opposite side of Audrey and tried to push her the other way. It was from there that they began to push her back and forth.

"You can't take her to the doctor's!" said Lotta.

"Don't be silly, Lotta!" said Dot.

"She's mine!"

"Audrey, you'll be better soon."

"I'll save you!"

"I'b better, guys, really!" Audrey lied, but the pressure had been too much for her. Dot and Lotta pushed her so hard that they sent her flying into the air.

"Now look what you've done, Lotta!" said Dot.

"What I've done?" Lotta snapped. "Everything was fine until you showed up!"

"You should be pretend-arrested for impersonating a doctor!" Dot told her.

"Hey, I'm a great doctor! Right, Audrey?"

"Right!" Audrey had finally come down, but she began to roll away.

"Huh?" Dot looked confused, but her expression quickly turned to worry.

"Audrey?" Lotta was also confused, but she became worried as well.

"Help-- be!" Audrey yelled as she rolled down a hill. Not helping matters was that she was approaching Harvey Street, where Lucretia and FruFru were having a tea party.

"Would you like some more tea, Lucre--" FruFru started, but when she looked up and saw who was coming, she dropped her teapot in fear.

"What's wrong?" Lucretia looked up as well, but her eyes quickly widened in disbelief. "SWEET PRINCESS PEACH!"

"Look out, kids!" Audrey warned as she rolled down the hill like a beach ball.

"Oh, no..." FruFru whimpered in fear.

Luckily, Dot and Lotta jumped right into the center of Harvey Street and yelled out for Audrey to stop.

"Stop, Audrey!" cried Dot and Lotta in unison. "STOOOOPPP!!!"

And just like that, Audrey slowed to a stop. Everybody sighed in relief, with Dot wiping her forehead with her hand.

Unfortunately, Audrey's nose tickled once again - and it was unable to handle any more stifled sneezes. Audrey's eyes and eyelids twitched as her nose rumbled furiously, and her shut nostrils flared widely. Her breath hitched.

"Aaaah... HAAAAAH..."

All of the kids on Harvey Street could only look on in fear as they watched Audrey prepare for her sneeze. Dot and Lotta looked at each other, then put their forefingers to their ears as they awaited the release. It was going to be a big one...

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-TTTTSSSSHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

And that was exactly what it was. The corks came firing out of Audrey's nostrils as she fired a massive amount of saliva and greenish yellow mucus all over everything and everyone. The massive amount of air escaping from her mouth caused her to return to her normal size, but the damage had already been done. Audrey sat where she was, rubbing her forefinger back and forth underneath her nose as everyone stood where they were in complete disbelief.

"Gesundheit!" said Dot and Lotta, in unison.

"Thadk you," Audrey replied, still rubbing her nose.

About an hour later, Dot and Lotta had brought Audrey to the doctor's office. Audrey was sitting on the examination table, rubbing her nose frequently as the doctor diagnosed her every symptom.

"Well, Miss Audrey," said the doctor, "it seems you have a cold. Are you ready for your treatment?"

Audrey just sniffled, looking a bit nervous. "You're dot goidg to bake be read old bagazides, are you?"

"No, silly," the doctor replied, "you get our most relaxing treatment!" He then looked up and asked, "Nurse Mia?"

A lovely-looking nurse arrived almost as soon as her name had been called, and then lay Audrey down on the examination table. She then placed her hands to Audrey's back and began to rub gently, massaging Audrey's back. Audrey was a bit surprised, but she quickly relaxed.

"Hey, this doesd't feel so bad..." Audrey commented.

After a few minutes of rubbing Audrey's back, Nurse Mia placed her hand underneath Audrey's shirt and gave her a gentle tickle on the side with her hand.

"Hahaha!! That tickles!" Audrey laughed a bit. She couldn't say anything more than that, however, because she had to give one more sneeze. "Haaah-choo!!"

Audrey then placed her forefinger underneath her nose, but Nurse Mia giggled and handed her a tissue. Audrey accepted it and finally blew her nose - and was quickly overcome by a great relief. Plus, the tissue felt soothing on her poor nose.

"Oh, man, that was so satisfying..." Audrey said as she wiped her nose with her tissue, her voice sounding more clear. "What's it made out of?"

"Nothing much," Nurse Mia stated. "Just some lotion and menthol." She giggled a bit. "Oh, and you should drink this as well."

She reached over and handed Audrey a mug filled with a steaming warm liquid. Audrey took the mug and drank it, emptying the mug in a single long sip. It tasted like tea, and it provided relief to her sore throat. She sighed in contentment and handed back the mug.

"Thanks, nurse," Audrey said gratefully. Nurse Mia continued to massage Audrey's body in response.

Finally, she was finished, and even though Audrey's nose was still a little red, she was feeling much better. She stepped off the examination table.

"I feel good as new," Audrey told Dot and Lotta, giving a mild sniffle. "I love the doctor."

"Oh, and here's your lollipop." Nurse Mia handed her a lollipop, which Audrey happily took.

"A lollipop, huh?" Lotta asked.

"Yes, that's one of the least unpleasant parts of going to the doctor," Dot agreed. "Not that what we just saw seemed the slightest bit unpleasant, of course."

Lotta nodded in agreement, but suddenly reared her head back as her eyes shut, and then shot it forwards with a tiny sneeze.

"Aaah... Haaah-tchyew!"

It was a very mild sneeze, but it caused her nose to turn red. Before Dot could even bless her, she gave a sneeze of her own, doubling over as she did so.

"Haaah-- Tcheww!"

"Uh, doc?" Lotta asked, sulking. She could see that Dot, who also had a red nose, was wiping her nose with her arm. "We've got a code, too."

"Thadks to Audrey idfectidg it with us, do doubt," Dot commented, causing Audrey to rub the back of her neck sheepishly.

"Oh, yes, Dot and Lotta," the doctor replied, sounding sarcastic, "we have a special treatment for you!"

And the next thing Dot and Lotta knew was that they were also on the examination table. Nurse Mia was giving them massages as well - but she was being far rougher with them than she had been on Audrey.

"Hey! Ouch! That hurts!" Dot said.

"Wait, this doesn't seem right!" Lotta commented in despair.

Audrey watched her friends receive their treatment as she stood next to the doctor, both of them laughing in amusement as Audrey wiped her nose with her tissue that the nurse had given her.