Jean-Claude Van Dan

Connor Chain(L) and JCVD(R), prior to joining the SASP

### Aliases

JC(VD)(-R), Van Diesel, Von Don, Lean Bean McQueen, Jean-Claude Van Snitch, Vincent

## Occupation

### Other Affiliations

The Bitches

**Jean-Claude Van Dan**was a characterplayed by TheChief1114 on TwitchRP, first presented on October 5th, 2019. Currently, he was a trooper with the SASP, having risen through ranks during the months of the rise to power by the Kelloggs Cartel. He was originally hired onto the force alongside his now missing (presumed dead) lover, Connor Chain, to be more of a joking and cool cop, but had ended up ascending his expectations to become a legend in the San Andreas State Police.

## History

JCVD was created, rather than born, byFingle Dan, who he regards as his uncle (though Fingle tends to refer to him as more of a son, especially when fighting with Tony Rico.) Although Jean-Claude's original ID card shows his birthday being in 1980, the actual year of his creation was roughly in 2000. His uncle (and potentially other members of The Bitches) raised him in the ways of the criminal, introducing him to techniques, skips, jumps, hiding spots, and more in the hopes of turning him into a getaway driver in the same manner as Fingle.

However, this changes when, for an unconfirmed reason, Fingle stabs Jean-Claude (it's possible that this could have happened several times,) which appears to have a traumatic effect. This causes him to leave and sign up for the SASP academy, where he later graduates and becomes an officer. This is actually hidden from Fingle, as implied during a call, where officer Paul Forester describes his plan to get him "all trained up and set loose" on Fingle.

## Personality

Referred to, at times, as a second Fingle Dan, Jean-Claude was one of the more laid-back personalities of the city. When it came to his job, there are times where he pulls off crazy operations and ended up outperforming even fellow officers, though mostly, he was the carefree, cool cop. It went as far as him releasing criminals after a rewarding chase, being more into it for the thrill in a similar manner as his uncle. While this had resulted in reprimands from superiors, JCVD had proven to be unfireable.

JCVD maintained a good relationship with his family and friends, including friendly discussion upon meeting Jerry the Breaker for the first time as an officer. The exceptions to this include, of course, Fingle Dan, as well as the few (many) people he wronged in the city. His troubles with processing grief and more somber moods might deem him as an unempathetic person, but he cared about the people close to him, most notably his father.

Jean-Claude, with his joking and fun aside, sometimes has to face graver circumstances. When fighting off a zombie apocalypse, he's glad to break the laws of the universe to get the cure. When facing the cereal cartels, he'd do whatever it takes to get them locked up. When confronting his foes, the Axis of Evil, he only lets them get away once or twice (maybe more.)  And in the words of Jean-Claude Van Dan after hitting a doctor at 130+ miles per hour, "we got a murder to solve, and it isn't this one."

## Major Arcs/Events (SPOILERS)

### **Red Fiesta 2: Chaotic Boogaloo**

JCVD's first major operation took place when three members of the Axis of Evil, including Commander Chaos himself, take Mara Fox hostage from the Diner and into the Diamond Casino. Jean-Claude breached the building alongside Alice Novoa, Aster Maple, and Eleanor Strickland, clearing the interior and responding to the medicals on the roof. He isn't much else involved.

### **High-Speed Hijinks**

Having spent several days worth of training with various officers and squads, it was time for JCVD to be an independent officer. And by independent, the colonel deemed him independent enough to ride a bicycle. Thus opened a new position in the SASP for him, along with existing bike cops, with his primary objective being that of working as a community outreach program. That is, to bike around the city and make the police more well known to the people. It's through this that he meets Bone Cold and first develops their friendship - the beginning of a new partnership. The aftereffects of Jean-Claude's time as a bike cop are immense, with the most notable being his new biking shorts, which quickly became a staple. He was also helpful in gaining intel and in some 10-80s but most especially when it came to the first of many sting operations involving himself and, typically, Bone Cold.

### **The Red Debate**

Jean-Claude, while not present for the debate itself, was on the scene afterward for some time and visited Bone Cold in the hospital, where he took him into his care. He purchased a motorized trike for Bone to use while his legs were temporarily paralyzed.

### **The Stink Operations: Beginnings**

* **Stink 1: Operation Butt-Throat**

Stink 1 began on the overpass by the PD. Bone Cold, a washed-up semi-criminal wrestler approaches JCVD, who had been on his bike, claiming he had something big and that they'd have to get in contact with colonel Tony Rico as soon as possible. Hiding by the building together, Jean calls Rico to come down, and Bone begins explaining, saying that there's somebody named Dixie Lee after him, and that he wanted to lure her out to get her caught in the act. JCVD and Rico immediately agree, and the colonel pulls out a car that has rarely ever been seen: a high-tech undercover vehicle equipped with lights and a siren.

They wait for over an hour, with Bone Cold slowly walking along the sidewalk, the car patrolling the area silently in wait. After all this, Dixie eventually pulls up to Bone and holds him hostage, telling him to raise his hands and counting down before shooting his ear off and trying to flee. Rico charges down, ramming her with the car and arresting her. Thankfully, Bone turns out to be fine, but missing an ear. Dixie, after processing, receives three years in jail for attempted first-degree murder on Bone, concluding the first 'stink' operation.

* **Stink 1.5: The 'Could've-Gone-Better-But-Still-Went-Well' Sting**

This operation is the shortest of the series, beginning when Bone gets into contact with JCVD about a murder about to go down. According to Bone, a group of people on Twitter were looking for a certain friend of his to bring to a graveyard and shoot, so Jean-Claude and Rico pull the undercover vehicle back out and make their way to the gas station closest to PD, where they awaited Bone's arrival. Bone, panicking, runs into them in the back alley, explaining that the murder was seconds from going down right then and there, rather than the graveyard. They quickly pull over a small, white car to see who it was.

However, merely seconds after the pullover, a wave of crashing strikes the area and Jean-Claude, Bone, Rico, and several others on the scene 'fall asleep.' Other officers pursued as the white car took off, but the chase ended in a foot-bail. Having missed the actual sting, JCVD wasn't too pleased, but the entire operation actually ended up tearing down an entire rising gang, earning him the promotion from cadet to trooper the next day.

* **Stink 2: The Diesel Dilemma**

The Diesel Dilemma, or Sting 2 was a very sudden operation to go into. At PD, Rico pulled JCVD aside and discussed some corruption investigation he had to work on, and instead left Jean with a case of his own. He explained that the growth of drag racing rings was growing out of control, and so he would have to go undercover as a different person entirely in order to infiltrate the operation. He was given a new ID, outfit, money, and set out with K-9 Boner disguised as Chop to find his way into the races.

Immediately, he calls Bone Cold and explains the situation. Bone, excited, tells him that he has an idea of who can help out, and they meet up to buy a Flash GT for the race. After setting up with the new car, they make their way to the Casino to meet up with other racers, where JCVD - or Van Diesel, rather - took pictures of cars, license plates, and people there to provide evidence. Unexpectedly, he's put into the first race and has to think quick on his feet. JCVD takes part in the race and gives his all to make it more believable, using PIT maneuvers against other racers and doing his best. It's after this that he meets Kay Oss, one of the original racers. She threatens him for the pitting, pushing him around a bit but doing nothing more before the second race lines up.

For the second race, Jean-Claude texts Rico to send the force into the race track, where all the racers would be trapped. The exits are all spike stripped and guarded. Panicking, the racers try to quickly come up with a plan to bring a bus down and ram their way out, going in uniform lines. However, the police breach too quickly for any plan to come to fruition, and most of the racers are caught, JCVD and Bone included. Rico comes in on a helicopter, however, uncuffing and saluting them both.

His cover is officially blown in court, with the racers watching from the back. His testimony and the operation earned him a poorer reputation, with some on the street referring to him as 'Jean-Claude Van Snitch.' Kay Oss finds and assaults him after the preliminary, and several have walked by since, whispering or coughing out the word 'snitch' in a threatening manner.

### **Kelloggs Cartel: Origins**

The Saturday night that JCVD gets involved with the Kelloggs Cartel is the same night that officer Shyn Dristane falls victim to a car bombing at the Observatory. There's a manhunt in the area before this for the Kelloggs after they supposedly take Honey Bunches, but they remain hidden until later in the night. While hunting the bombers, The Hive is reported robbing a bank, and a 10-80 ensues afterward in which JCVD performs excellently, catching Carter Mann nearly single-handedly. The rest of the Hive crew (including Zofie Palmetto, Ricky Boriello, and Molly Darling) were taken in by fellow members of the SASP, and they were processed and charged for their robbery.

During later investigations, Jean-Claude, Tony Rico, and K9 Rex drive into the movie studio, where JCVD believes the Kelloggs may be hiding (It's revealed later that this is likely true). After pulling into the set and driving slowly up a flight of stairs while discussing how the Kelloggs are Italian, JCVD lightly taps a generator, causing a massive explosion that seriously injures them all. Multiple units respond instantly to the triple medical call, and the most immediate assumption was a second car bomb. Lieutenant Forester, however, immediately notices the generator and announces the scene as Code 4, saying: "Be advised, I believe Van Dan pulled a Van Dan." Jean-Claude remains firm in his belief that the Kelloggs are to blame.

Whilst on the third manhunt of the night for the Kelloggs, Rico, Rex, and JCVD begin to clear the Barrios but stop upon realizing that the Kelloggs are likely outside photographing them, so they step outside, only to be held at gunpoint by Coco and Strawberry Pops. JCVD is told to make a run for it by Rico and he does before being stopped by Rice Krispies. He attempts to call for help by "hot-micing" to the radio that he'll holster his gun, but this is disregarded. After some discussion between them all, Jean-Claude steps into a white sedan with the other three before being driven off. Rico immediately calls in a 10-13.

The cartel holds a discussion with JCVD about his job and life, seemingly taking a liking to him. They agree to go on a "date," driving Jean-Claude to the Urban Outfitters store, where he changes clothes, with Rico holding negotiations the whole time. After changing, Krispies gives Jean a packaged Gusenberg, and the four of them step outside before Rico. After a lengthy discussion and decision, Jean-Claude chooses Rico over the cartel, turning sides before they flee. The force closes in on the Kelloggs and a gunfight breaks out, the three cartel members being incapacitated. Coco makes promises to meet JCVD again.

### **Operation: Boning Bone Cold**

After leaving bike patrol, it's been harder for JCVD and Bone Cold to be able to hang out together. His constant occupation with patrolling left Jean without much of a chance to be with Bone, though Bone's investigations were going frustratingly slow without him by his side. Because of this, Bone decides to show Jean how it feels, abandoning the opportunity to patrol with him and instead spending the day with Clive Staples. Jean-Claude is incredibly upset by this, staying concise when talking to him and even hanging up or ignoring calls. He goes through the night, finding dates for the upcoming Masquerade alongside Rico.

Near the end of a night, Rico suddenly panics after supposedly hearing something over the radio. Immediately, he makes mention of a 10-13 at the pier, urging Jean-Claude to go as quickly as possible. However, as they begin to drive off, K-9 Rex falls out of the car and gets severely injured, leaving both JC and Tony to wait for EMS. During this time, Jean checks his most recent texts from Bone, which he had ignored out of spite. The two texts inform him that he had been at the pier with Honey Bunches of Oats, a suspected member of the Kelloggs Cartel and Rico's ex-wife, "just in case something happens to [him.]"

Panicking now, Jean-Claude rushes to the pier as soon as possible, jumping out of the car as he gets there only to see Bone and Honey standing alongside each other, just fine. Rico and Honey meet each other between Bone and Jean, the situation becoming clear as Rico uses an exaggerated tone, saying: "Stop. No. Don't do it." Quickly, they then leave to the other side of the pier to talk, leaving Bone and Jean to confront each other alone. They finally discuss their situation and end up confessing their feelings to one another, especially JCVD. He then asks Bone to the Masquerade and he accepts as partners, nothing closer, finally concluding the night of extensive searching for a date.

### **The Stink Operations: Stink Continued**

* **Stink 3, 3.5, 3.8: The Triple-Sting: Operation Tommy: Reloaded**

On November 7, what began as a "filler episode" escalated quickly when cadet George Geo and Jean responded to a call for a robbery at Vangelico's. There was an active hostage situation, for which Jean negotiated, followed by a slow-paced 10-80, which ended when the four robbers jumped out of the car and split up on separate bikes. For Stink 3, Jean and George posted on top of the roof of the jewelry drop-off overnight, waiting for the suspects to show up. They do after some time in a pink vehicle, unmistakably Dixie Lee's. After stealing the vehicle and taking part in an expansive foot chase, they catch only Irish McIrish, holding him in the Paleto PD for processing. During this time, Frankie issues a warrant for Dixxie's arrest, and Jean-Claude instantly calls Bone Cold, who had recently gotten into bounty hunting.

Bone agrees to help, but there is some argument between them when Jean gets hostile at his tone. As it turns out, Bone had been spending the entire day trying to find evidence on Vadim, who is supposedly after Jean for asking EMS Ana to the Masquerade, leaving a threatening letter behind. Despite this, they agree to meet up.

Upon meeting, Bone reveals that he has a plan to use his friend, Tommy, to lure Dixie into the open in front of JCVD to be arrested. They spend over an hour setting up and convincing Dixie to meet up at a parking garage by the PD to organize. None of the police that they attempted to gather for backup agreed to stick with the sting, leaving George, Jean, Tommy, and Bone alone in the operation. The meetup's location was changed last minute to the northern garage, which was more open. Geo sets up a wall-placed spike strip to destroy Dixxie's tires, however, as they catch up, he accidentally cuffs Jean and Dixie runs back into a car, fleeing the scene. She finds out, however, that Tommy was working with the police, and sets out then to find him.

Sting 3.8 was rushed and panicked. Dixie attempts to lure Tommy into her home to get him killed, so Bone quickly calls up Jean to bring him down. He and George rush to Dixie's home and stay out of the line of sight, picking up Tommy while waiting for Dixie to step into the open. The minute she does, they drop from the hill and place her under arrest, finally concluding the Triple-Sting.

### **The Massaquerade (Season 1 Finale)**

* **A Grave Beginning**

At the beginning of Jean-Claude's shift on November 8, 2019, a funeral was held for the late officer Gary Peterson. Peterson was killed only hours after patrolling with Jean-Claude, who grew close with him in the short time of being near each other. Together, they had purchased hundreds of baseballs, interfered in a cartel kidnapping, and crushed numerous crimes, though after Jean finished his shift, Gary was left to patrol alone before eventually being kidnapped by several Vagos members, shot in the head, and thrown off of a roof. He was killed on scene.

At the funeral, Jean-Claude was visibly upset. He made a speech for his close friend and threw a ball to the grave in respect. "It's what Gary would've wanted," is the line he uses to excuse his outfit, which included short shorts and a tuxedo top with holes cut out for his nipples, due to chafing. Colonel Tony Rico, despite threatening Jean about the shorts, says nothing.

* **Double Date**

After the funeral, Jean-Claude patrols with trooper Gorgeous George before meeting up with Rico and Honey Bunches of Oats to drive together to the clothing store and Masquerade. During the discussion of this, the Kelloggs offer Jean-Claude a ride and he accepts before realizing that Georgie should come, as well. The Kelloggs drop him back off at PD, where Jean whispers "espionage" to Rico, so as to excuse this interaction as part of some plan. Rico doesn't question it much, but he does give the usual warnings.

Jean-Claude arrives at the masquerade slightly late after passing out, meeting his first date Bone Cold at the front. Inside, he meets up with all of his other dates one at a time, including Doctor Destructo, Aubrey Adams, Laurent "Bad Scroofy" Dumont, Gertrude Cumsworth, Gideon Gold, and Casey "Cassidy" Harlow. Throughout the night, he constantly excuses himself to meet up with another one of his dates. They all catch on after some time, and Jean-Claude gets assaulted by Destructo, Adams, and officer Robert Burger. Coco Pops was not involved.

* **The Massaquerade**

Shortly after most of the shenanigans caused by JCVD, 15+ guests inside of the club are taken hostage by members of the Hive, including Molly Darling and Freddy Fastfingers, with class 3 weapons. It's revealed that they had been wanting to steal the $25K in earnings made from the entry fees.

After tense negotiations and stress-induced arguments, the SASP breaches into the club and fights the Hive back, downing them all. It's unknown how many hostages were hurt due to crossfire or the Hive. At Pillbox, JCVD meets back up with his partner, George, and sets off with the distinct feeling of change.

* **Season 2 Prologue - Before the Storm**

Season 2 begins the moment JCVD and Trooper Gorgeous George leave Pillbox. It's like a new world, with snow, new criminals, international assassins on the loose, and his new partner. There's a feeling of anarchy in the city, however, with the radio silent despite the chaos in the streets near Pillbox, two 10-13 situations, and shootings. Jean-Claude, however, is ready to face it all.

Immediately after leaving Pillbox, himself and Georgie are both knocked unconscious in a fistfight at a traffic stop. Throughout the night, they respond to PAC, an officer stabbing, attempt to reach a 10-13 before it's resolved, get in a brutal triple-10-80, blow up a cruiser, try to calm down several riots, respond to another Pillbox shooting, and more. The chaos in the city sets a tone for the rest of season two.

### **Van Dan's Birthday Disaster**

After taking a week off to celebrate his birthday, Jean Claude returned refreshed and excited to get back to work and see all his old friends at the SASP, as well as out on the street. In the rush from his birthday excitement, JCVD had forgotten to eat and promptly passed out from hunger in front of Bad Scroofy in the lobby of MRPD. After a quick resuscitation, JCVD waited in his father's office at MRPD, hoping to receive a birthday present from his dear ol' dad.

Upon entering the office, though, Rico's face was stoic and he said little. JCVD, ever the optimist, rattled off about how much fun he'd had on his birthday week off and how excited he was to see what present his father had in store for him once he'd returned. Unfortunately for JCVD, Rico informed him that his mother Honey Bunches had been found dead just last night, shot in the head by the Kelloggs after giving herself up to them in an attempt to save others. It's revealed that Honey was executed by her brother and Kelloggs cartel member Apple Jacks, and her body left on a secluded pictureseque hillside. Rico reads a posthumous letter from Honey, and Honey encourages JCVD from beyond the grave. Honey tells JCVD that he isn't a virgin, and that he will "fuck all the womens" in the city. Honey calls JCVD more than just a test tube baby, that she considered him a child from her own womb. JCVD wipes his tears and swears to his father that he will do his mother proud and "fuck all the womens" in the city.

### **Honey Bunches of DEAD**

On November 22, a funeral is held for Jean-Claude's adoptive mother, Honey Bunches of Oats. The death of his wife had thrown Colonel Tony Rico into a downward spiral of depression and reignited the aspiration for his revenge, leading to days of searching for Jacks and other members of the cartel.

The funeral's held upon the cliff that Honey had been murdered, with dozens of members of the city attending, each recalling the special memories shared with her. Several performers sing in front of the intimidatingly large crowd, including Tony Rico's signature 'Meatballin',' Mia Bright's part of a duet she had organized alongside Honey, with Honey's pre-recorded voice singing along, and JCVD's own original slom poetry. After reciting the tear-jerking piece, he attempts to do a backflip off of the cliff and into the water in honor of his mother, only to be tackled, cuffed, and shackled by his father. As punishment, he's forced to endure the rest of the funeral without moving, standing alongside Rico, Matche, and the recently trained K-9 Pon Cho.

During the funeral, he discovers a group of Vagos and Kelloggs alike standing at a distance, watching carefully. Whether they had been paying their respects from afar or waiting for something that never happened, JCVD never found out.

### **Kellogs Cartel: Chaos in the Canals**

On November 23, 2019, the day after Honey's funeral, JCVD is held hostage by Strawberry "Uncle Bitch" Pops. Tony Rico, thankfully being present for this, then holds Apple Jacks, the suspected murderer of Honey Bunches of Oats at gunpoint. They then make an exchange, with Raisin Bran, Strawberry Pops, and Apple Jacks escaping in a white car, only to be pursued by Jean-Claude, Rico, and the other units that were present for negotiation. The chase ensues for a decent amount of time before the Kelloggs take a detour into the canals, where several heavily-armed Vagos members ambush the police. Jean is severely wounded in the shootout, with both knees being "shredded" by bullets, though after a long period of time, the shootout resolves with all of the Vagos and Kelloggs members incapacitated, alongside a decent amount of officers. Strawberry Pops and Apple Jacks are processed at MRPD, and Apple Jacks endures a lengthy interrogation from both Col. Rico and JCVD, with JCVD cornering Apple Jacks alone in the interrogation room. JCVD shouted at the murderer of his mother that he was now facing the bad cop, and JCVD proceeded to shit his pants and stand next to Apple Jacks for some time, forcing him to endure the stench of JCVD's wonder bread diet shits. After JCVD's interrogation, Rico handled justice and Apple Jacks went down for the murder of Honey and was sentenced to two long years in prison.

### **The Stink Operations: Stink Never Dies**

* **Stink 4: The Clams and the Cozened**

In the wake of the death of Honey Bunches of Oats, Rico's obvious mourning state leaves Jean-Claude wanting action, specifically wanting a chance to make his father proud, or at least distract him. At the time, Vagos member Happy Rascal held several aggressive warrants. With Bone Cold finally being a cadet with the SASP, they patrol together for some time before coming up with a plan to draw Happy out. At Pillbox, they discuss how they would do so: Firstly, Bone would contact Vadim, who had been seen riding with Happy throughout the day. He sets up a dinner date between the four of them, with Bone and JCVD pretending to be in a relationship for the sake of convincing legitimacy. Vadim doesn't agree to meet up, but Happy does.

Bone and Jean set up dinner in Colin Bemmis's house, where they pretend to be a domestic, dating couple, Bone starting on some steamed clams. Once Happy arrives, they hold a friendly conversation. JCVD uses Happy's and Bone's conversation as a distraction to run out back, then crossing the street to a convenience store, where he picks up several beers. He runs back, claiming to have been at the fridge. Shenanigans ensue throughout the night as JCVD and Bone use the beer to get Happy as drunk as possible, though he seems to pick up on this, and offers them both laced weed. Eventually, with both parties equally intensely high and drunk, members of the Hive, specifically Molly, pull up outside. Molly comes in and joins the dinner party, with the other three members, Ricky, Freddy, and Zofie, exploring the surrounding area in secret.

However, at one point, JCVD makes his usual excuse to use the bathroom, where he calls, Tony to come get Happy. They show up quickly as the four of them stand in a circle, smoking. Rico and Bright together breach, cuff Happy, and claim that they had "been onto [JCVD] ever since the first mention of the party," and that they had tailed their trackers to the home to arrest Happy, so as to keep both Bone and JC looking innocent to Happy.

What may be the most peculiar part of the night, though, would be Jean-Claude's "roommate," Vincent. He is, obviously, simply Jean-Claude wearing the blonde wig from Sting 2, pretending to be someone else. It isn't mentioned whether this is Jean intentionally feigning an identity, or whether he genuinely believes himself to be another person, which would be a symptom of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Jean also blames the bust by Rico on Vincent, which points towards him being a disguise, rather than a true issue.

### **Turkey Legged**

After a lengthy night of patrolling, Forester, Van Dan, K-9 Pon Cho, and several other officers had been at MRPD, especially in the area of the parking lot. As part of his usual joke involving himself vs. the K-9 units, Jean-Claude provokes Pon Cho some before apologizing with a "treat." Paul, too occupied by the dimensional malfunction of falling through the ground, doesn't quite realize what's happening when Jean offers Pon Cho a whole bottle of bleach, leaving it on the sidewalk. Pon Cho, believing that the bottle contained a treat, manages to down the entire bottle, falling unconscious soon thereafter. With police and EMS alike crowding the injured Pon Cho to assist, Jean-Claude panics and runs upstairs to the roof, formulating a plan along the way.

Unfortunately, the very first part of his plan to "do a sick stunt off of the roof of PD" fails miserably, and he shatters both of his legs in the motorpool. Unconscious, he's rushed to Pillbox, refusing treatment, despite flatlining four times throughout the night. Iconically, he crawls slowly but surely out of the hospital along with Pon Cho and Paul Forester before being helped into a cruiser. For the rest of the night, he crawls for robberies before spontaneously falling through the world in the exact manner that Forester had earlier, leaving him abandoned in the middle of a random street. Perplexed, it's all he can do to crawl into a phonebooth to wait out the snowy night, ignoring even Paul once he's found. Thankfully, his dad drops off a blanket and a meatball sub the next morning.

* **Iron Dan**

The day after breaking his legs, Jean-Claude continues to crawl to do his job, despite being told multiple times to go off duty. After getting injured in a gunfight at a bank robbery, he's taken to Pillbox. Frustrated and too impatient to wait for his legs to heal, he has the doctors amputate both legs and replace them with synthetic, life-like prosthetics, equipped with BlueTooth, cupholders, and a Class-3 container. It takes several days for them to calibrate before he's able to move at a faster pace.

### **The Shorts v. The State**

Processing criminals, for JCVD, can be entertaining at times. Telling jokes, getting in lighthearted fights, or even making it a speedy processing makes for a better experience for both criminals and police. Among these include bits with weapons, and in one case, a class-3 automatic. Jokingly, he points the gun at a prisoner he's processing, saying "shut up," but all in good faith. That's when the respected attorney Hannah Daives points it out. Things quickly escalate from there, including Jean-Claude telling his father, colonel Rico, off. Before long, the entire PD is hunting down Jean inside of the department. He flees downstairs to the solitary confinement cells, where he's betrayed and given to his father, cuffed. Rico threatens Jean-Claude with demotion back to probationary cadet and removal of his beret and, worst of all, his biking shorts. Enraged, JCVD demands court and everyone agrees, and they're transported to the courthouse. Jean-Claude represents himself, and Hannah represents the prosecution, Rico. With everything on the line, Jean claims that he can end the entire case right then, and right there.

After some argument regarding whether he should be unshackled or not, Shyn Distrane finally releases him, and Jean moves to the center of the room, right in front of the judge's stand. There, he begins dancing, twerking, anything he can do to show off the "power" of the shorts. The judge, along with everyone else in the room, is understandably flustered. Rico interrupts this, disregarding Hannah, and taking the ground, stating the reason he was being so harsh on Jean-Claude, and that he was terrified that he would end up dead if he continued associating so closely with criminals, especially with the Kelloggs. He's also worried the JCVD may end up turning sides, with how he's been treating his "uncles." It's stemming from Honey's death, and it's when Jean realizes that he's the only family that Rico has left. Turning the court case from a humorous bit into a serious discussion, he admits that he cares for his father and that he's upset that they haven't been patrolling together as of late. The judge settles on ten court-mandated family therapy sessions, and permanent allowance of Jean-Claude's shorts and beret, finally warding off each superior officer that demands removal.

Outside, there's a celebratory dance for reporter Maxmillian Angel as he takes photos for Weazel News. From there, Jean-Claude departs on patrol with his father, marking the midpoint of season 2.

### **A Very Merry Van Dansmas**

It's almost Christmas by the time Jean-Claude announces his 3-week hiatus to New York to celebrate the holidays, only planning to return once or twice during this time. His second-to-last day in the city began with a rag-tag group of Jgjean Lafayette (Edward Cross), an android known as ASIMO, and a vigilante with a brown paper bag for a mask. Together, they departed from the PD and left Rico behind, going on the search for sustenance for the vigilante and ASIMO, and new legs for Jgjean. (JCVD had, back at the PD, removed his prosthetic legs and put them in the evidence locker.) Their first location is a gas station by Mission Row for food, then a strip club to 'acquire' new legs. . . By that, JCVD meant killing some locals and leaving Jgjean on the floor without his own legs to attach some new ones. From there, the three left and Jean dropped the other two off at PD, with a tearful goodbye to ASIMO, who grew to be close to Jean-Claude.
However, there was still his job to do. After leaving his new friends(?) behind, he located Rico's tracker and found it next to Mia Bright's on the same ridge that Honey's funeral was held upon. Using his expertly trained skills in stealth, he sneaks behind his adoptive parents in some bushes, but he's almost instantly caught and called out. Various shenanigans such as these persist throughout the night and well through the next, before his time comes, and there's about 30 minutes left before it's time to go.
It's snowy, and dark when Jean stands outside of one of the newest PDs. Inside and in clear view is his old partner, Paul Forester. It's there that Jean-Claude declares, as he has many times before, his love for Forester, to which he replies that he values JCVD as a good friend and a great cop. Bothered by this, JCVD first reiterates that he LOVES Paul, but he's again met with a similar response, leading to the drastic escalation of him drawing his service pistol and aiming it at Paul. This time, he declares his love in a demanding tone, and Paul replies, after some hesitation, that he loves Jean-Claude. At this, JCVD breaks into tears of joy and runs off, deserting a criminal in the middle of nowhere five minutes later. After this, he departs from Los Santos to his 3-week vacation, reappearing occasionally with an eyepatch caused by a bear fight. (Pink eye.)
(This break became known as the 'official end to season 2,' with the breaks in between being known as the 'holiday specials.')

### **Kelloggs Cartel: The Italian Job**

With the Kelloggs Cartel at their peak, it's a scary time to live in Los Santos. Growing in numbers, and controlled now by Tony the Tiger, there's little to stop them from taking over the city, piece by piece. Fortunately, there's still one major weak spot where the SASP can attack: gun deals. Supplying the cartel with heavy weaponry, especially class-3 automatics, these deals were important in keeping them afloat the rest of the criminals in the city. With intel from Raisin Bran himself, Tony Rico devised a plan with JCVD, named 'The Italian Job' after the infamous 'That's Italian, y'know?' quote.
Essentially, after acquiring information from Ray Bran, JCVD, Rico, Paul Forester, Tommy Horver, and several other officers suited up and purchased four different red-colored Issy Classics to use as undercover as they waited for the location from Bran. Once it was received, the four teams gathered by a pier, near where the deal was moments from going down. However, the group was suddenly flanked and covered from the roof with automatic fire, with the gunfight lasting almost an hour before all officers were downed, JCVD included. Nevertheless, backup arrived to recover the truckloads of hundreds of automatics, partially crippling the cartel's finances and supply of weaponry. For JCVD, this is the last time he'd have to worry about meeting the Kelloggs. For the cartel, it was the beginning of the end.
('The Italian Job' was later used as evidence (Exhibit D) during the Kelloggs' criminal RICO case, (CR-20200119) which found them guilty on all charges.)

### **JCVZ: Dawn of the Dan**

Early 2020 for Los Santos was generally a good time. The Kelloggs Cartel was behind bars, the SASP had some new training, gangs were flourishing, and there was a generally welcoming atmosphere to the new year. However, only weeks into the new year, a strange disease began to spread among the locals, highly infectious and deadly, people dropping dead on the sidewalks and. . . standing back up. Terrified, most citizens crowded into various safe places, such as Pillbox. By the time Jean-Claude woke up, the streets were empty of people and flooded with zombified, walking corpses.

It's only after hours of fighting zombies (and maybe downing allies in the process) that there's a bit of hope. A group of citizens and officers alike had held up at Humane Labs, where researchers worked endlessly for a cure to the outbreak. However, they were stuck. . . that is, until JCVD came along. Being a test tube-raised clone, his DNA would be the key to finding the solution to the zombie outbreak. To do this, however, JCVD would have to take the biggest risk of them all. To save the world, to put a stop to the outbreak, and to prove that he was more than everyone thought he was, he'd have to commit ERP with Patient Zero.

When the unholy act was finished, the facility was evacuated. JCVD was transported overseas to the Capital, where he remained for hours as the cure put an end to the crisis once and for all. And on that day, he became a hero.

### **Clones & Conspiracy: JCVD**

Having been out of the city for some time as Fingle Dan roamed the streets, it was a surprise to see Jean-Claude back on patrol. He still deals with his addiction to crack cocaine, but his main suppliers, the Kelloggs, were behind bars indefinitely. He was growing desperate for a new supplier, which led to him contacting Bad Scroofy, notorious international assassin and now a new dealer. Suspicious of JCVD's addiction, however, Tony Rico was sure to question and follow him, causing them to have to come up with a plan. Scroofy would disguise as Jean's 'date,' and they'd meet on top of the Diamond Casino with Rico and Poncho before departing together to make the sale.

After some shenanigans, they leave from the casino, with Scroofy driving to the location of the exchange. After some time, they arrive at a secluded area near the Chiliad State Park. It's then that Scroofy draws a pistol, and Khloe Leaves alongside several others step from the brush, all heavily armed. From there, JCVD's hurried into a secret bunker nearby, where he's transported several miles below the earth to a hidden room. He's locked in, replaced with a robotic clone designed to follow Khloe's demands. The clone's only task? Don't do what Jean-Claude would do and give it away.

* **The Governor's Ball**

At the Governor's Ball, the clone's robotic voice and actions were, indeed, giving it away. The first part of the day is a series of being cuffed, uncuffed, questioned, left alone, and of obvious suspicion from the rest of the SASP. But it's when the raid of the bunker begins that the relationship between Jean-Claude and his adoptive father starts to strain. There are prolonged exchanges of "You're not my son!" and "FATHER-" as they face-off, weapon-to-weapon at either end of a corridor. It's when the clone comes in for a father-son 'hug' that he's shot down and killed, and from there, an overwhelming force of citizens and officers take the bunker back and put an end to Khloe's cloning rampage.

### **JCVD Returns: Wedding Day**

After an extended absence following the traumatic events of Clones & Conspiracy, JCVD makes a triumphant return for the wedding of his father Tony Rico and soon-to-be mother Mia Bright. Upon going on duty with Gorgeous George on the roof of MRPD, JCVD opens his shift with the radio call "This is 869, 10-13...uhhh, I mean 10-41." After that auspicious start, Jean Claude and Gorgeous George headed out for a brief patrol which featured a bank robbery perpetrated by an eyebrow-less robber, but otherwise was short and boring, leading the boys back to MRPD in search of more excitement. Back at Mission Row, GG and Jean-Claude found the entire Mills family gathered in the lobby in preparation for the wedding. Jean-Claude hung about the entrance, hoping to get the attention of his family, but they were lost in other matters and appeared to ignore him. Milling about outside MRPD with his right-hand man Gorgeous George, JCVD was suddenly distracted by the appearance of a certain white-haired trooper. JCVD found himself enraptured with the woman, and loudly exclaimed to GG, "Who is that goddess?!" Gorgeous George, ever the wingman, headed over to the trooper to talk up his boy. Wasting no time at all, George bluntly asked her if she would "fuck his friend" while motioning towards JCVD. The white-haired trooper, who turned out to be Claire Everly, was taken aback by GG's approach and immediately shut him down. Sensing GG was failing, JCVD moved in and attempted to salvage the situation by shouting "AWOOGA" at Claire repeatedly. Put off by their approach and clearly busy with other matters, Everly took a phone call and quickly left their immediate area, leading JCVD to berate GG for "putting too much butter on that roll" and driving Claire away. Distraught by his failure with Claire and lack of attention from the members of his family inside MRPD, JCVD quickly held hands with George for comfort.

After the Mills moved outside, Jean-Claude was finally able to approach his grandmother, Ma Rico, and introduce himself. She seemed taken aback by having a grandson, and queried Jean-Claude about his heritage. JCVD then revealed his genetic lineage, and the history of the Dan family clan and its' curse. All Dan family members were cursed to physically age 5 times faster than the normal human, but were also cursed with lifespans 5 times as long as the longest human. It was after this that JCVD, bored out of his mind, asked Grandma Rico for a quest. Unfortunately the only quest she game him was to protect his dad, Tony, at the wedding later, something JCVD was already assigned to. After an awkward conversation, Jean-Claude was left with the impression that his Grandmother hated him. JCVD then met his grandfather, Don Mills, who paid him an allowance of a dollar and sent JCVD on his way. After nearly being cajoled into giving weapons and ammo to his Grandmother and Kix, JCVD and GG escaped the scheming Mills family by offering a ride to Lt. Colonel Strickland. In the car JCVD asks GG and Strickland for advice on his wedding attire, as he's dead-set on bringing the Nips Out look back. Surprisingly, Strickland approves of his plan, encouraging him to be himself, and JCVD's mind is decided. After dropping off Strickland, GG lore dumps to JCVD on the ride back, revealing that the reason George is so buff and handsome is because of the advanced milk steroids the Mills injected him with, and that Fruity Loops had seduced and betrayed him as part of this plan. JCVD is enamored by George's confession, and tells him how hot he finds him. Later they visit Pillbox where he runs into more Mills, his ex-wife Diamond Stone and her new husband Dr. Destructo. Awkwardness ensues, Diamond punches GG, and the two flee the hospital. After a brief bank robbery call and ensuing 10-80, the time had become late and the wedding was soon to be underway. JCVD dressed up in his custom yellow suit with holes cut for the nipples and headed to the biggest day of his Dad and soon-to-be-Mom's lives.

#### **Nips Out For The Wedding**

At the wedding JCVD runs into numerous friends and enemies as he mingled with the guests. Meeting his family and the security team, JCVD runs into Claire Everly again and stares at her speechlessly, before yelling "I LOVE YOU" at her back as she walked away. Jean-Claude later ran into a collection of members of the Axis of Evil, including Edward Cross and Sans Undertale. Cross reminds him of the time Jean-Claude forced Cross to cut off his own legs and sew a dead man's legs in their place, to which JCVD laughs. After a brief tussle with Sans that ended in a machete assault, JCVD ran into one of his and Fingle's mutual friends, Commander Chaos. Chaos, however, was in deep disguise as a member of the wedding's private security team. Jean-Claude quickly picked up on the disguise and offered to help CC with his cover during the wedding. The wedding really began to pop off for Jean-Claude when he wandered right over to a loud argument between the entire Mills and Kellogg's Cartels, standing dramatically facing each other across a fence, hurling insults and accusations at each other.     Confused by which side to root for since he was apparently related to both, JCVD eventually chose the side of the Mills, standing at their side as they jeered and taunted the Kellogg's, instigating the fight further. Eventually JCVD caught eye of his father Tony across the courtyard, and ran after him to inform him of the badass standoff. With his father headed for the Mills v. Kellogg's standoff, JCVD headed to the entrance after seeing Commander Chaos being chased by the actual security team. JCVD insisted to the security detail that CC was a plainclothes officer named Connor Chain, and that they were making a terrible mistake. JCVD's intervention and distraction is eventually successful, as Commander Chaos is able to slip away. It's at this time that Bright's wedding party arrives, with the bride and all her bridesmaids decked out in their wedding best. Among the bridesmaids was Captain Tobias Tarts in full drag, his attire causing JCVD seriously mixed feelings.

It's soon time for the wedding ceremony to begin, and JCVD heads to his proper position. The ceremony begins uneventfully, with everyone following their prescribed roles, showing the proper respect the ceremony deserved. Then, it was Jean-Claude's turn down the aisle, and he chose to crawl. Slowly. Multiple guests quietly jeer and hiss at JCVD, including Birdie Moore, whom JCVD threatens by saying "I'll take your other eye!" to the famously one-eyed woman. Both Mercury Frost and Xhang Zu Chan chime in with a "Fuck you, Jean-Claude!" as he crawls past, but the nearby Bros and Goblin Mann cheer him on. JCVD finally reaches the head of the aisle where Rico and Bright and the rest of the wedding party have gathered, and he slowly stands up and takes his place next to his brother Molly Darling. JCVD, as ring-bearer, then presented the rings on the barrel of his gun and pointed it directly at Rico's face for him to remove. Retrieving the rings carefully, Rico admonishes JCVD for pointing a gun at him. Jean-Claude opens the ceremony by referencing Rico's now-dead former wife, Honey, and gets a real Everyone Hated That moment. Molly and JCVD whisper-argue as the ceremony begins, eventually quieting down as Clive read the vows for Rico and Bright. Abruptly a random poodle entered the area and urinated all over JCVD's shoes, much to the amusement of everyone else. As the wedding continued, and Clive spoke of having a duty to protect, Rico began to look ill. Sweaty and anxious, Rico stammered something and said he needed to speak with Bright alone and quickly hurried away from the ceremony, to the shock of all in attendance. Jean-Claude, confused, sought out Gorgeous George for guidance. GG, being versed in the ways of love and relationships, informed Jean-Claude that when his father heard the phrase "and protect her" he went "completely to pieces" while JCVD just stood there. Jean-Claude then realizes, out loud (as he does), that referencing Rico's dead wife at the beginning of the ceremony was a bad idea. Everly, who had approached the conversation from her post watching Rico nearby, facepalmed heavily. JCVD, distressed that he'd somehow failed his father, desperately asks them what he should do, to which Everly shouts "PEP TALK" and GG agrees, affirming that he should go talk to his father in private to try and salvage the wedding.

Jean-Claude tracks his father down, deep in conversation with Bright, and pulls him away to give him his pep talk. Unfortunately, Jean-Claude chose the selfish route first, admonishing his father by shouting "you're embarrassing me!" George, nearby, interrupts and reminds JCVD that it's about Rico and not him. JCVD rephrases, shouting "You're embarrassing yourself" instead. Jean-Claude pushes his father, but Rico is unrelenting, adamant that he can't break the same vow twice. Rico says he failed to uphold his vow to Honey, and he couldn't fail Bright that way. JCVD abruptly agrees with Rico, giving up on the pep talk, until GG intervenes again. George gives Rico an actual pep talk, telling him that like the vow he took as an officer, you just have to try your best and sometimes things are out of your control. GG urges Rico to go through with the wedding, that Bright is safer with Rico than not. Jean-Claude backs GG up, telling Rico that Honey would want him to move on and that he didn't take his nipples out for nothing. JCVD is distracted by the sudden appearance of a figure on the roof of the mansion, and he runs from the conversation to investigate. Turns out the figure on the roof was just Trooper Jax Storm, on overwatch for the wedding. Jean-Claude decides to hang out on the roof, bored with Rico "being a bitch," and he is soon joined by Commander Chaos and other members of the AoE. Eager for more hijinks, JCVD hatches a plan and attempts to distract Claire, insisting her has credible intel on a threat against the wedding. Jean-Claude claims to have a voicemail on his phone from the mad bomber Greg Everly, who has apparently threatened the wedding according to JCVD. Jean extends the bit a little too far, getting distracted by Angry Birds, and pushing Claire's patience to the limit, causing her to leave and return to her duties. Moments later the bridal party is escorted past JCVD and the boys on the walk below, and word reaches them that a threat was made against Mia and the wedding was now off. As JCVD watches Claire and Bright leave, an actual bomb goes off where the wedding guests had been gathered. JCVD, who had been only joking about the bomb from Greg, was shocked by the appearance of a real explosive, but took it in stride, watching the chaos unfold for a moment. JCVD then leaped off the roof and headed to the mass of bodies and panicked people, assisting in the evacuation as best he could, before reuniting with GG and heading back to Rico to protect him. A burnt and bloody Sans Undertale is brought by, and JCVD is momentarily delighted by the sight. Colonel Rico is angrily shouting at the Kellogg's still in attendance, accusing them of the bombing, when a second device goes off and all the nearby grass catches fire. The rest of the civilians are evacuated, and Rico leaves with GG and JCVD at his side.

#### **Wedding Aftermath: People Keep Kidnapping My Dad's Girlfriends**

Back at MRPD JCVD dresses out in his patrol gear, eager to head out onto the streets and bust some heads for his dad. After a brief patrol with Gorgeous George, the two head back to MRPD and JCVD is abruptly and violently beaned by a garage malfunction. Jean-Claude is lost in the bean dimension for some time, and loses some grip on his already fragile sanity. He is eventually freed, spat out onto the hard pavement near MRPD, dazed and left behind. While in the bean dimension both Rowan Reese, a very old flame of Rico's, and Mia Bright, his current flame, were kidnapped and the SASP were mobilizing in response. JCVD, left behind without a partner, caught Sgt. Claire Everly as she hurried to her own cruiser to respond to the kidnappings. Jumping into Everly's cruiser, the two began the first of what would become many ride-alongs. Unfortunately for their first ride-along, JCVD's mental state was fragile following the beaning, and he began to suspect Claire Everly wasn't actually a human being, but perhaps some sort of reptilian shapeshifter. Everly was confused and rebuked his claims, but JCVD insisted that there was something off about her the entire ride. Claire & JCVD began their search at the golf course, following leads from the Colonel. From there they went into the Vinewood hills, continuing their search until Rico radioed that his father was at Pillbox having a heart attack. JCVD shouted that they had to get to the hospital and Everly floored it to Pillbox, with Jean-Claude panicking the entire time, worried that the grandfather he just met would soon be dead. JCVD told Claire his mother, Honey, was dead too, and Everly shared with him that both her parents were also killed. Jean-Claude responded by shouting "Batman alert!" and calling Claire "Batman with boobs," switching up from his earlier reptoid comments.

Arriving at Pillbox, JCVD bolted inside screaming for his grandpa, running into the Mills outside the operating room. While waiting for word on his grandfather, JCVD killed time by hitting on Fruity Loops, calling her the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. After a photo was texted to the police line, JCVD and Claire left the hospital in the hunt for Bright and Reese. They searched the city for the location in the photo, combing the expensive houses in the hillside, then heading out of the city into Blaine County. Claire's breakneck speeds and hairpin turns had JCVD texting GG that he feared for his life, while GG texted back that Rico's driving also had him afraid. Their searches outside the city proved fruitless, and then a radio call came in that the Kellogg's had been sighted at the Kortz Center and an officer was down. Claire and JCVD 76'd immediately, hurrying back into the city to help. Arriving at the Kortz Center, Claire drops JCVD off and he rushes in to rendezvous with his partner Gorgeous George. Sneaking around, JCVD met back up with GG and set up a perimeter around the hostage situation. After JCVD and GG get a handcuffed Kellogg's cartel member at gunpoint, Rico and the rest eventually negotiate for the release of Rowan Reese there at the Kortz Center, while Mia Bright will be released at a separate location. Reese and Bright are rescued, and safe, and the Kellogg's flee, while JCVD and GG help clean up the mess at the Kortz Center, another successful day in the SASP for Jean-Claude. JCVD and GG celebrated their victory and ended their night by roasting some robbers trapped in Vangelicos by the security lockout.

## Relationships

* Fingle Dan's nephew/son
* Dan Dan Blizerian, Donald Gluffawitz, CJ, Colin Bemmis, and Robot's cousin
* Gertrude Cumsworth's ex-nephew, later became her husband
* Tony Rico's and Honey Bunches of Oats's adoptive son
* Romantically involved (at some point) with the late officer Connor Chain, officer Steve "Bone Cold" Lubbock, Lucky, EMS Ana Amari, and "Patient Zero"
* Referred to as the Kelloggs Cartel's nephew
* Diamond Stone's ex-husband
* Molly Darling's brother
* Desiree's brother
* Fellow clone of Gene-Claude Van Dan

## Trivia

* The name Jean-Claude Van Dan is a play on the name of famous Belgian actor Jean-Claude Van Damme
* It was revealed that when he was younger, he used to attend "awkward family barbecues" with the Bitches.
* Jean-Claude tends to combine his name with his FTO's to create training unit names. So far, there exists Bean, Jeannor, Pean (or Jickles, as recommended by the chat after discovering Paul's safeword,) Jico, Jive, and Jeanchester. Rico also occasionally names their patrol "Whiteclaw 1."
* Despite his hatred and resentment of Fingle, Van Dan still regularly calls and chooses to remain off-duty when his uncle is in town, so as to avoid a violent confrontation.
* Jean-Claude explained, upon hearing of his mother's death, that he has difficulty processing grief.
* Slom
* Jean-Claude suffers from schizophrenia, often responding to voices that nobody else hears or dancing to music in his head as though it was being played aloud. Each day brings out more apparent signs, though not many close to him seem to recognize it.
* He considered every member of the Kelloggs Cartel to be his aunts/uncle, fueling the ongoing familial debate between Fingle and Rico.
* Jean-Claude Van Dan has been disowned by most of the rest of the Dan family, even being left out of Single Blam's funeral.

## Quotes

* "CRAWL TO ME!"
* "You try to save a guy's life by shoving a finger up his ass and then all of a sudden you're the bad guy!"
* "Trust me- if you're a Dan, you've been stabbed by Fingle."
* "Not my paygrade!" (On the scene of a mass shooting)
* "In fact, if I knew who stabbed my uncle, I'd give that person a hug and a biiig kiss on the lips!" (to Paul)
* "Kelloggs. That's Italian, y'know. And what does this place look like?" (Followed immediately by a massive explosion)
* "HONEY! MY MOM! IS DEAD! SHOT! IN THE BACK OF! THE HEAD! HONEY! DEAD MOM! DEAD MOM! SAD DAD! SAD SON! FUNERAL DAY! FUNERAL DAY! HONEY, MY MOM, IS DEAD!" (JCVD's slom poetry at his mother's funeral.)

## Gallery

Officers Clive Staples (left) and Jean-Claude (right) on top of the Lifeinvader office buildingJean-Claude Van Dan but he's fucking deadJean-Claude undercover as Van DieselJean-Claude escorting Molly Darling following the Massaquerade (By Enevun)