Clyde Cash

Shit was SO Cash

**Clyde Cash** (Born July 4th) is a guido who went to Ian's old High School and tormented him greatly for a number of things. He mostly mocked the fact that he was pregnant, despite being a man, questioning his sexuality and his gender at the same time. He was later involved in top secret Black Ops group The Miscreants; a team of specialists who were dedicated to high level political assassinations. The group in question was behind the deaths of Abe Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King and many other figures throughout history. Originally they were a mercenary group, but in the 1980s they were bought out by the U.S. Government and now work directly with the Pentagon to deal with particularly dangerous situations in the Middle East. Clyde himself was the commander of his own squad nicknamed the AAA, (The Awesome Alliteration Antics Squad), called so because of the coincidental alliteration of the names of its three members; Clyde Cash, Bryan Bash and Dino Dash.

## Biography

### Dreams of Rape

Clyde's first appearance in Asperchu was in a dream sequence, in which his old rival, Ian, had fantasies of raping him at knife point. One could argue that this was a display of (imaginary) dominance. However, it's more likely that Ian is just gay.

### The Battle of 4Cent

Clyde would later appear properly at the end of Issue #5 and in Issue #5E, where it was revealed that he was working/living at the 4-Cent\_Garbage Center Towers with Jason Kendrick Howell and Jack Thaddeus, acting as part of the CWCVille resistance known as the CWCVille People's Liberation Front. Jack and Clyde then went outside the building to finish him whilst he was down, with Jack riding a Goblin Glider and Clyde armed with two webshooters. They failed their mission however, as Jack was knocked off of his glider by Sonichu, and had to be saved by Clyde. Sonichu then hijacked the glider and cut through the Plautistic, as well as knocking Joshua Martinez into the tower again whilst doing so.

Glider lost, Jack had to call a retreat, and he and Clyde went back to the top floor and regrouped with Mary, CADD Chef and Michael Snyder, to prepare for evac. Michael told them that due to power limitations, he could only teleport people out two at a time. Clyde and Jack were the first to be evacuated.

### Time keeps slipping...

Clyde and Jack appeared again in Issue #6, where they were seen playing a game of ModNation on the Xbox 360 at the Molvanian stronghold to where they were evacuated, but Jack ultimately disliked the game. In the middle of their play-through however, Princess Julie interrupted them, along with Asperchu and Jivin. Julie then asked them why they had not contacted the others back in CWCVille in months, to which Jack replied that they had only been away for 48 hours. Julie asked them if the same thing had happened to Wes Iseli or Michael Snyder. Jack replied that Michael had gone back to his shop after the evacuation and that Wes Iseli had left with a friend to go do something else. They wondered why they had been missing time and decided that the best thing to do is to return to CWCVille. Jack pondered about how much things have changed in their absence, and Jivin promised to fill them in on the details. After discovering that Crackder had vanished without a trace, they decided to take Julie's Megazord back to the city. They asked about a destination, and decided to go to Michael Snyder's store, the Brass Dragon, at Asperchu's suggestion.

### The Brass Dragon

Once they arrived at the store, Clyde began to read a Magi-Chan porn magazine, but was interrupted by the arrival of Christian and Max. Chris and Jack greeted each other like old friends, and Jack asked what happened with the Mayor and Sonichu, since he was out of the loop. He learned that the Mayor had been defeated, and that Christian had no idea about Sonichu. He then broke the news to him, and found out that Michael Snyder didn't know about Sonichu's involvement either, on account of leaving to go back to the Dragon before Jack could tell him. Their talk was cut short however, when the alarm went off, due to Asperchu trying to burgle the store.

### Reunion

Later, Chris, Clyde and Jack bade farewell to Michael and left the Brass Dragon. Chris wondered what to do about Sonichu, and Jack suggested they talk about it over dinner, since Clyde was hungry. Clyde then spotted Wes Iseli however, so they went over to help him up. Chris asked what he was doing there and where he had been, but Wes said he did not remember. Jack told him that he left the HQ with a purple Sonichu who looked like Magi-Chan, and Chris was then confronted by Metal Asperchu, who 'Archived' him. Suspecting that there was a connection between all the mysterious circumstances, the group went to the Pickles Family Cucumber Farm to talk to Princess Julie. She told them that she didn't know anything, but also suspected a connection. Max, who was also there, told them that he and Asperchu had a similar experience with Metal earlier that day, so Julie called Asperchu to come over. Asperchu was unhelpful, though, failing to provide answers.