Hair Extensions (Main Universe)

***Hair Extensions*** is a street fighter and occasional criminal, he loves filming his fights and rewatching them on the toilet. He is a Fuckface, a rare species of humanoid that can regenerate from the seed pod on the top of his head.

## Biography

### Hair Extensions Generation 1

The form Hair Extensions took from birth to his first death at age 34. He trained everyday except on Sundays, which is when he has his dinner. In this form he greatly enjoyed slap fighting with gigantic Europeans and crying his eyes out over murder documentaries on Netflix.

### Hair Extensions Generation 2

Following his brutal murder at the hand of ‘Slap King’ Ryolstev Tuly, Hair Extensions regenerated into his second form, the one he kept until the age of 86. He took fighting far more seriously, becoming catatonically depressed whenever losing a fight. He had an incredible anger problem, which he took out on all 59,342 of his challengers. His tirades were known to be so violent, 184 new hospitals and 16 cemeteries had to be built to compensate for them. He choked to death on a Yorkie.

### Hair Extensions Generation 3 ‘Dark Daisuke’

This iteration of Hair Extensions, who preferred to be known as ‘Dark Daisuke’ was obsessed with winning the Ciudate Fighting and Martial Art Skills Tournament. He spent every waking hour training his mind as well as his body mainly through masturbation. He followed a specially constructed training regimen for 54 years. In this iteration Daisuke unlocked his ‘Blueberry Coffee Climax’ form, which greatly increases his power level from 100, to a whopping 107. He was killed in the penultimate battle by Cunt Eastwood who strangled him to death with a Dumbo beach towel.

### Hair Extensions Generation 4.5 ‘GOD %’

Following his failure to secure the title as Ciudate Fighting Champion, Hair Extensions fell into the deepest depression in history, he didn’t leave his house for 23 years. During his reclusion, he ate 30,000 calories a day and watched every Woody Allen film. One day, while having a massive greasy shit, he had the incredible idea to transform his fat into a weapon and get back into fighting. He emigrated to Kyoto and enjoyed immense success as a bar fight champion, gaining the nickname: ‘GOD %’ He also unlocked ‘Blueberry Coffee 2nd Climax.’ Which again elevated his power level tenfold from 107 to 1,055,793. After 4 years feeling truly happy, he was shot in the back of the head by John Malkovich.

### Hair Extensions Generation 5

This form of Hair Extensions was unprecedented as he returned as a female. This incarnation was not interested in fighting at all, having an immense distain for blood. She instead wanted to read every history book she could find on eBay. Her favourites were ‘CURTAINS THROUGH THE YEARS’ by Elmut Shmemo and ‘History That Didn’t Happen’ by Grolst 23. During her reading excursion, she was accepted into The Prestigious EVIL Museum University, the holy grail of rare books in the Mindfudge. There, she learnt all sorts of forbidden history as well as ancient and forgotten fighting techniques, merely reading of these unlocked ‘Blueberry Coffee XXXrd Climax.’ Which elevated her power levels from 1,055,793 to 2,000,001.1, that of Post-Death Ron Perlman. With her new found power and fighting techniques, she regained her former love of fighting and entered the university’s underground fighting club. She was undisputed champion of the club for 45 years until she was beheaded by her arch-rival Witch-Man.

### Hair Extensions Generation 666 ‘Empress Ssalami’

Returning again as a female, Hair Extensions became sick of being murdered, seeing it as a sign of weakness. She felt she had been relying too greatly on the pure physical power and hadn’t considered trying the Arcane Arts, using her previously acquired book smarts, she quickly became a powerful sorcerer who became infamous throughout the Mindfudge, dispatching powerful foes with demonic magic. This caught the attention of Satan McLover, who wanted to add her power to his unholy army, hoping it could turn the tide in his war against Doctor Fantastic. However, Hair Extensions was far more concerned with entering the ‘Hellish Brothers Deep Dark Demon Realm Event.’ The premier arcane magic event in the Mindfudge, where sorcerers and demonic entities from all corners of the multiverse meet and fight. While competing she befriended Sock Gas, Dr. Koko and Out There, all fellow sorcerers. Together they rose through the ranks but they eventually betrayed her, trading her to Satan McLover in exchange for some fake Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards. Satan sapped her of her magic, later imbuing it into his Dark Toilet Seat and launched her into the depths of space where she fatally collided with a comet.

### Hair Extensions Generation 7 ‘Mabino Forts’

After years in drifting lifelessly through the darkest depths of space, the body of Hair Extensions crash landed on the planet of Blister 5. There he regenerated into his seventh incarnation, when he came to he was shocked to discover that he had been enslaved and forced to work in the DVD Mines, where day after gruelling day he mined Norbit and the Road to El Dorado. He was given the slave name of '*Mabino Forts'* and stayed as a miner for the next 98 years. He further developed his fighting skills and physical powers by punching the walls of the mine and doing push-ups in speeding mine carts over lava. During his 5 minutes of break time a day, he would practice transcendental meditation, through which he managed to achieve a state few before him ever had: ‘Blueberry Coffee: Infinite Climax: Resurrection.’ Increasing his power level from 2,000,001.1 to 8,950,930, and reaching what is thought to be the final stage of Blueberry Coffee, whatever that is. With his entourage of slave friends known as the Shat Chinos Boys, consisting of: Dean Martian, Asperi Von Asperi, Krabab and Retard the Robot, he used his new powers to escape his enslavers and find his way back home. He died in a car crash on the M4.

### Hair Extensions Generation 8 ‘MRS.doubtfire2’

The eighth incarnation of Hair Extensions, traumatised following his previous incarnation’s life as an alien slave. He refused to leave his house and lived entirely in the online virtual world: GAYGAME, under the screen name *MRS.doubtfire2*. There he was reunited with his nemesis, Witch-Man who had practically overthrown the online world. *MRS.doubtfire2*, along with virtual warriors *PolanskiFan00*, *xXDark\_DiabeticXx*, *Intentional.Pink.Eye.Getter* and *CLAYS*, he formed the Mouldy Chewing Gum Brigade and set out to defeat Witch-Man once and for all. The quest was going well, until the group ran into *HARRISON\_FORD\_MUST\_DIE!* A proud and powerful warrior who had been hired by Witch-Man. With his mighty glass of milk, he viciously murdered most of the group, leaving only *MRS. doubtfire2* and *CLAYS* left. The duo wept over their fallen friends, and their combined tears created something bold and new: ‘Blueberry Coffee: Dark Infinity Climax: Finality Overture S.’ This brought his power level to the impossibly high 15,750,350.5.5. A power level only before reached by some guy who lived down the road from me. With his new found power, he and *CLAYS* thwarted the dark legions of Witch-Man, beating him into a deep coma and facing a gruelling legal battle. *CLAYS* was sentenced to 4.6093378112e34 life sentences in SUPER\_HELL, a virtual prison filled with the most horrid virtual rapists who ever virtual lived. *MRS.doubtfire2* died before he was sentenced due to having not eaten or drank anything for a week in the real world, as well as having acute blue balls.

### Hair Extensions Generation 9

The ninth and current incarnation of Hair Extensions, has spent most of his life working at Dunner Land, the biggest theme park in the Mindfudge. He hasn’t left the park for 39 years due to the sheer size of the fucking thing. During that time he has ridden all 989,574 rides in the entire park 14,512,806 times. Each ride has imbued him with a portion of ‘Ride Factor,’ a mysterious, ancient force that grants a person the ability to call on the ghost of a mouse. The more Ride Force a person has, the more ghost mice they can summon, Hair Extensions has 20,323,470 under his control. He uses them to ward off the many hostile forces that attack the park on any given day, such as Professor Sucker, Car Crash Atome and False Health Advice Man. He is considered the unofficial mascot of Dunner Land, which has also earned the wrath of the actual mascot, Dunner Vole.

## Powers and Abilities

### Powers

* Blueberry Coffee Climax - A confusing and non-specific power that dramatically increases a being’s power level in their greatest time of need, its true scope is thought to be infinite.

### Abilities

From his years of extensive training in the woods, Hair Extensions has developed many of his own techniques:

* Era no Butsu (エラ の 物) - Hair Extensions unleashes a barrage of toothy headbutts.
* Mito-chō no Ko (水戸町の子) - Hair Extensions runs at high speeds with his arms outstretched and slams into his opponents.
* Asura no wa Urottoke (アスラ の 和 うろっとけ) - Hair Extensions secretes healing honey from his armpits.
* Ebi za Aratsu Oishiine Rotsu wa Unori (エビ 座 新津 美味し いいね ロツ 和 うの) - Using the Blueberry Coffee Climax, Hair Extensions uses his super speed to create multiple evil holograms of himself.
* Watashi wa Gaijinki (私 和 外人木) - Using arcane magic, Hair Extensions summons a demonic celebrity from Hell. Some of which include:
	+ The Guy Who Voiced Elmo
	+ Anti-Peter Falk
	+ Randy Quaid
	+ Seth MacFarlane
	+ Colin Baker
	+ Alfred Molina

* Kuso (糞) - Hair Extensions jumps high into the air and kicks as hard as he can with both of his feet with such force, he almost always breaks both his ankles and atomises his targets.

## Relationships

### Allies

* Dean Martian
* Asperi Von Asperi
* Krabab
* Retard the Robot
* "PolanskiFan00"
* xXDark\_DiabeticXx
* Intentional.Pink.Eye.Getter
* CLAYS

### Enemies

* Witch-Man - Arch-Rival
* Satan McLover
* ‘Slap King’ Ryolstev Tuly
* Cunt Eastwood
* John Malkovich
* Sock Gas
* Dr. Koko
* Out There
* "HARRISON\_FORD\_MUST\_DIE!"
* Professor Sucker
* Car Crash Atome
* False Health Advice Man
* Dunner Vole
* The Flamboyent Pedo

## Equipment

### Weapons

* Retart - Dark Daisuke's trusty sword. It currently resides in a forgotten sewer.
* Almus - Mabino Forts' pick axe. He left it on Blister 5 and it was given to some random slave.

## Appearances

In chronological order:

* (Information needed)

## Trivia

* It is theorised that Hair Extensions is possibly immortal, as long as their seed has a place to successfully grow, they can return.
* At their stupidest, Hair Extensions has had an IQ of 53, and at their smartest their IQ was 300.
* Every one of their incarnations would have sex with at least 2 of their other incarnations.
* Hair Extensions is unaware that they even have the Blueberry Coffee Climax.
* Every incarnation is a gigantic fan of Religious Studies.
* Most Fuckfaces live to have 20 incarnations.
* They want to be known as 'The Final Nugget.' But can't ever think how to get the ball rolling.
* Thinks milkmen are the bravest people on Earth.

## Behind the scenes

* The character was created by: Jac Simpson Price