MoonClan's ambitious story/(1): The First Four Leaders/2/18

*The anguished faces of Mountainpaw, Shadowpaw, Icepaw and Swanpaw etched into his brain. Rainpaw, Icepaw, Dandelionpaw, Spottedpaw and Berrypaw were all wailing in disbelief. Followed by Honeyflight. Then Nightnose. Then the kits, Thymekit, Robinkit, Soarkit, Lilackit, Jumpkit, and the newborns, Mousekit and Petalkit. Pinetail was very shocked and it looked like he was about to stop breathing any moment from it. Watereye, Littleclaw and Zebrapaw were still very shocked as they couldn't even believe what was happening. Petuniaheart and Snowstar looked at each other as if they completely forgot everything else existed. The queens were very confused and scared for their kits and themselves. Violetrain and Fireclaw were looking very sad for their Clanmates, too, and the littermates looked at each other in pure helplessness. Sealbranch and Hailstream had immediately rushed to their littermate, Sandleap's, side to make sure nothing happened to her, too, as well as Nightnose. Quailpaw immediately rushed to Shadowpaw, Icepaw and Swanpaw to comfort them but he seemed terribly pained as well. Lilypool was just shaking her head in sadness. She couldn't bear to say what had just happened. But she didn't have to, since everyone already figured out what the fate of Goldenlily was.*

And the best Primrosepaw and Birchpaw could do was just simply blink. Blink as if nothing else existed but Goldenlily. Goldenlily's dead body.

Birchpaw remembered what Goldenlily had told him half a moon ago. *I'd like to die once this ends, you know, join StarClan.*

*Is this what she meant?* Birchpaw wondered. *To leave her kits behind? Especially the ones who were just born?* He thought that was a terrible thing to happen, since her kits were just born. And to leave them alone... for what? He remembered that she told him about Swiftclaw, a SnowClan cat, a cat from another Clan. One who wasn't supposed to father her kits according to the warrior code. *Was she trying to atone for her sins?* he imagined. He thought that may be the reason but he couldn't figure out why that would be a good reason, especially since Mousekit and Petalkit were too young to be by themselves.

*Was it StarClan?* he thought. They were the good cats living in the afterlife, the ones who followed the warrior code and helped their Clan. *Did Goldenlily want to join them? And her mother, Greenheart?* He did think that Goldenlily had started kitting at the right time.

Icepaw's punishment was waived, and additionally she, Shadowpaw and Swanpaw got a break from their warrior duties. Pinetail just looked too sad and his cousin, Wisdomheart was trying to comfort him. Pinetail had said, "She was my only kit. My mate and I had a ton of problems with having kits, and she was a miracle!" Birchpaw didn't have kits yet, but he tried to understand what that was like. *It would be a very good feeling to finally have a kit after tons of tries,* Birchpaw figured. *But it would be terrible to lose them...* He remembered that Goldenlily was Petuniaheart's second cousin.

Most of the Clan were mourning, and some warrior duties have been slowed down, and even paused for a few cats. Zebrapaw, Quailpaw and Violetrain were three of those cats whose duties were paused, so that they can comfort the three siblings. It was terrible for them, especially the older two since their exams would come in half a moon. And Nightnose's duties were also waived so that he could be with Sandleap. He didn't want to lose her, too. The kits seemed to not be bouncing around anymore. Instead, they just stared at Mousekit and Petalkit uncertainly, which was a stark contrast to what they were expecting just a day before, before Goldenlily's kitting. The queens seemed a lot more idle, too, as Goldenlily's death had shaken them greatly. They weren't doing their normal chatter anymore.

Goldenlily's body was buried next to the nursery, where she had died. Birchpaw was sitting next to her burial place the day after she had died and was just wondering if it was really necessary for her to die. He wondered if Icepaw getting punished had something to do with it. *Maybe it had added stress,* he thought uncertainly.

He had talked to his mother, Petuniaheart, and asked how she felt when she lost *her* mother, Moonstar. Petuniaheart had said that she and her brother, Blazesky, were shocked and sad for her, especially since she had been murdered by the MoonClan deputy at the time, but she said it wasn't that bad since she was already a middle-aged warrior with warrior kits, and that she, Blazesky and the rest of the Clan had been anticipating and preparing for this, anyway, but from a sickness instead. So Petuniaheart had come to terms with this in only a quarter-moon or so. But she said it was still a contrast to Goldenlily's situation, and her five kits. Petuniaheart said that Goldenlily was still too young to die, and that her kits weren't even warriors yet. And it had come unexpectedly, too. No one had anticipated that she would bleed to death at all. And she said it was terrible timing, too, since Shadowpaw and Icepaw still had to do their warrior exams in a half-moon.

Birchpaw had also asked his mother why everyone was mourning for her harder than Moonstar, or any other cat that had died. Petuniaheart explained that the last queen to die from kitting was when there was still a Tribe. She wasn't so sure about AdderClan or SnowClan, but this was the first time it had ever happened in MoonClan, which is why it was so shocking to the entirety of MoonClan. Birchpaw had asked who the queen that died was, and Petuniaheart said it was Lilackit's namesake, Lilac, the mother of Honeyflight. She had died giving birth to three kits, but only one had survived due to the other two having complications, and it was Honeyflight, of course. So most of the cats in MoonClan that were alive weren't even born when it happened, or old enough to understand, except maybe for Wisdomheart (Pinetail was a few moons younger than Wisdomheart), but even he was apprentice age when it happened. And she said that the Tribe was mostly just split into families so the Tribe wasn't that sad for Lilac's death since they weren't really close-knit anyway. The only one who mourned was Honeyflight herself, when she got to know about it, and she had to be nursed from another queen. She told Birchpaw that they were called nursing at the time.

Birchpaw had understood this, and figured out why Honeyflight was so shaken with her death, and he was even more sad for his friends, Shadowpaw, Icepaw and Swanpaw. He was also sad for the new kits, Mousekit and Petalkit, because there were no nursing queens. Redwater and Flipsnow's kits were already weaned, so they had no more milk. At least the older three were already apprentices, soon to be warriors, and didn't need a mother to nurse them anymore.

He also thought about what Stonepaw said to Icepaw. *Oh yeah?! I bet after he rejects you outright, you will kill yourself out of dep-* Birchpaw had thought that was just an empty threat, but he wondered if it could somehow be true. Not with Zebrapaw, but with Goldenlily, her mother. He then thought about Stonepaw herself. She seemed like the only cat in MoonClan who had no interest in the event that happened yesterday. Even Birchpaw and Primrosepaw were sad, even if they didn't cry or look surprised about it, but Stonepaw didn't even care. She had even mocked Nightnose for not taking her out to training and instead just lazing in the nursery even though he had no business there except for his mate, but Sandleap snapped at her back that he was currently in a state of mourning. After all, it was his father's mate who died. Nutclaw had sometimes went to the nursery to comfort his brother and littermate, too, and to the apprentices' den to comfort his apprentice, Swanpaw, since he was also terribly sad about Goldenlily. But he was still managing to hunt for a little while with his mate, Violetrain, and her temporary apprentice, Zebrapaw, unlike the two of them.

Birchpaw remembered the fake story Goldenlily had tried to tell. *Oh, well, Watereye, of course! He's also the father of Nutclaw & Nightnose, and I'm their mother, too!* He had always wondered who the father of the three siblings were, since no one else seemed to know. Or *care.* And no one seemed to care who Nightnose and Nutclaw's mother was, either. He wondered if everyone already knew who their mother and father were (pretend father), but it seemed like no one usually talked about it, not even the kits. He wondered why Goldenlily told the story like that, but maybe she didn't think too much about it. He also wondered what Watereye would say. *Would he say the same story, except with Anna as Nightnose and Nutclaw's mother instead?* Maybe he knew that he wasn't actually their father, but he would still would know who Anna was, of course. *Does he know that he isn't their father?* Birchpaw wondered all of a sudden. He had no idea how their relationship was, since he was born three moons after Shadowpaw and Icepaw, of course.

But he was wondering one more thing that he thought was very strange, and maybe a few other cats did, too. How did Goldenlily manage to give birth to two healthy kits in her first litter, which were Shadowpaw and Icepaw, and had a second litter with two more kits, which were Swanpaw and the other sibling, without dying or getting injured at all? He wondered if something went wrong with her second pregnancy, which is what made Swanpaw mute and the other kit stillborn. After all, he had never heard of a mute cat before. No cat in the time of the Tribe even seemed to hear of it, so Swanpaw was the first one. And Primrosepaw was probably the first cat that every cat alive had seen to have lethargic nerves, too. He had witnessed Primrosepaw's birth and it seemed normal. Sealbranch, then Sealpaw, had also told him how Swanpaw's and her two older siblings' births were like and they were also normal. *Did something go wrong with her kitting area the third time?* Birchpaw wondered uneasily. *Was it something else, like a battle or patrol, maybe? Leftover wounds?* He was very curious and always asked questions about everything, but he wasn't sure if the answer could be found out, since she was dead. Also, it made him really uncomfortable, especially when she had recently died. He didn't want to ask anyone about this part at this moment.

Then Watereye came up to him, and sat by the grave, probably to mourn his late mate. He had acknowledged Birchpaw was there but didn't say anything. Birchpaw didn't say anything for a while either, until he heard Watereye sigh in sadness. To try and console him, Birchpaw said, "She was a good cat, so she's in StarClan right now."

Watereye just nodded and replied, "I know. She was a cat who always abided by the warrior code, never even trying to break it."

Birchpaw had mixed feelings about that fact, but he knew that she had definitely regretted the mating with Swiftclaw, whoever he was. He asked warily, "Did... were you close?" He was about to ask if they were *actually* mates, but he knew that would probably be inappropriate.

Watereye looked at him now. "Of course, since we were mates. Nightnose and Nutclaw's mother, Anna, had been a good mate but she wasn't one to last forever since she was a kittypet, and she wasn't willing to leave her Twolegs. She *did* leave her kits with me, though, as she didn't want her Twolegs to take them, as she also thought those were also my kits."

Birchpaw nodded. Watereye was telling the story now, and it did seem different from Goldenlily's. "Was she okay with it?"

Watereye shrugged. "Well, she said that she was also taken away from her mother when she was weaned, so it was pretty much normal to have her kits being taken away in kittypet culture. I don't think any Clan cat would want to never see their kits again, though. I don't really know what happened to her now, which is why I decided to get a new mate, which was Goldenlily."

Birchpaw nodded again. He was always wondering if mating with kittypets was okay, since if the kittypet didn't join the Clan, then the kits may never see their kittypet parent again, especially if it was the mother. "Do Clan cats usually mate with kittypets?"

Watereye just blinked and replied, "Well, they usually do that if they can't find a mate inside the Clan. We are only around three generations into the Clans, so we aren't terribly big, especially since there was a terrible leaf-bare and a huge massacre of cats right before the Clans' creation, leaving only a third of cats, of which a third of *that* were cats who had already mated in their lives and didn't want to have any more kits. Not to mention AdderClan's fights with us and SnowClan. We are the biggest and most welcoming of the three Clans, but we mostly consist of family members, so it is hard to find a mate which isn't your sibling or cousin. And they have to be compatible with you. So it is always good to invite new cats into the Clan, like Flipsnow, Peonyclaw and Spottedpaw. So yep, it is generally okay to mate with a kittypet. At least it's not a cat from another Clan that it would cause serious loyalty issues."

Birchpaw understood the entire explanation, but he felt a little bit uncomfortable about the last part. He didn't know if Watereye actually didn't know or if he was just trying to cover it up since he didn't know that Birchpaw knew (and to not let the secret out). He wondered why Goldenlily mated outside of the Clan. *Did she have any personal issues?* And he wondered about Swiftclaw as well, since he was also partaking in this. Birchpaw also knew that if he was still alive, that would be bad, since if the secret was found out, his five kit friends would be in grave danger.

"Was Goldenlily a good mate?" asked Birchpaw, ignoring that last part, since technically, Goldenlily would have cheated on him.

Watereye stared at him for a moment which made Birchpaw question in his mind if he secretly knew, too, but Watereye just nodded. "Of course. We stayed together for many moons, through thick and thin along with MoonClan, until she died, but we might still be able to be together in StarClan. And I also fathered her kits."

Birchpaw just nodded, pretending to agree, but he very awkwardly thought about that last sentence. He knew about the truth, but he also thought about what a unknowing cat would think. It didn't seem that Watereye looked anything similar to them. Nightnose and Nutclaw, their alleged older half-siblings, had almost no resemblance to them, either. But Birchpaw knew no cat really paid attention to a cat's features, so it wasn't that easy for other cats to figure out. After all, facial and bodily differences didn't necessarily mean that a cat wasn't a child of another cat. Violetrain and Fireclaw looked a lot like Blazesky, their father, while Zebrapaw and Stonepaw looked more like Peonyclaw, their mother. He also wondered if the behavior was similar, but he wasn't that good at deciphering things, or paying attention to minute details. He was willing to learn, though, so that he could be a good warrior and Clanmate.

He also thought that Watereye didn't spend too much time together with his alleged kits. He didn't know about Nutclaw or Nightnose because they were already senior apprentices when he first started remembering things, but when Shadowpaw, Icepaw and Swanpaw were kits, he didn't really see him anywhere around the nursery. He first figured out he existed when he got to wander around the camp by himself. Then he figured out his name when he became an apprentice. Either way, he thought that was suspicious, especially since the three siblings or Goldenlily never talked about him, and neither did Nutclaw or Nightnose. Even Snowstar, Maplestripe, Littleclaw and Blazesky saw their mates and kits in the nursery every once in a while and played and talked with them. He thought Nightnose and Fireclaw would do the same, since they were doing so already.

Then suddenly, he remembered one kit in the nursery, who was supposed to be Violetrain's apprentice. *Thymekit!* Birchpaw recalled all of a sudden and realized he was fatherless, too. He had no idea either who Redwater would have mated with. He thought it could just be a kittypet, but he dared to think about the father being a cat from another Clan. Birchpaw wasn't sure if he wanted to figure out the answer since he didn't have any clues, and like with Shadowpaw, Icepaw, Swanpaw, Mousekit and Petalkit's father, no one cared about Thymekit's father either. But he was very curious to who it could be. The idea of being fatherless always irked him, since his own father, Snowstar, and *his* brother, Forestcreek, were also fatherless, because their mother, and Birchpaw's paternal grandmother, Lilyear, had just said he was a kittypet. Birchpaw couldn't really ask her now since she was in StarClan before he was born, unless he went there himself, but that would be hard to do for a normal cat like him unless he died, too. But he wondered how it was possible not to know who he was. He also wondered how many Clan cats had kittypet parents in total. It was greatly intriguing and curiousity-invoking to him, but he was too clueless about any of those details.

Birchpaw then remembered that Watereye was also Peonyclaw's mentor. Peonyclaw told him that when she and Flipsnow joined the Clan, Moonstar asked who wanted to be their mentors, as they were kittypets and she wasn't sure if the average Clan cat could do it. Watereye and Diamondfly, Flipsnow's mentor and Rosepetal's mother, volunteered to be their mentors since they eagerly wanted to be mentors (as they had no apprentices before) and thought they could do a good job of mentoring former kittypets. Peonyclaw, Peonypaw at the time, turned out to be quite a great apprentice, which Watereye liked and tried to defend her from all hate and judgements of other skeptical cats. When Diamondfly got pregnant with Rosepetal a half-moon after taking up the offer, Watereye started training Flipsnow, Flippaw at the time, too, until Diamondfly gave birth. Watereye, Flippaw and Peonypaw still visited her in the nursery, and that was why they were very close to Rosepetal. Birchpaw figured that might have been a reason for Rosepetal mentoring Watereye's son, Nightnose, as Peonyclaw did say she advocated for a lot of cats she was close with to be mentors to apprentices that she was also close with. But Birchpaw wondered if Watereye had any idea about Whitelight's relationship to his apprentice, since Flipsnow, Peonyclaw and Whitelight probably met each other as apprentices, while they were with their mentors on border patrol, similarly to how Peonyclaw and Whitelight were behaving now. *If so, that means he knows* two *secrets,* Birchpaw thought uneasily. Even though he didn't know much about Watereye and wasn't very close to him, it turned out he had close connections to the two cats who had told Birchpaw SnowClan secrets, Peonyclaw and Goldenlily.

Watereye sighed. "Well... I would like to be alone now... since you know."

Birchpaw nodded and got up from the grave. He decided to go to the secluded area that Mountainpaw and him were talking in again and saw Stonepaw just sulking at the wall of the medicine cat den. *Her punishment is over,* Birchpaw remembered.

Stonepaw noticed him but just growled in response. Birchpaw wasn't sure if he should talk to her since she was a really unpredictable cat, but he decided to, anyway.

"Um... what are you thinking about?" he asked cautiously. Stonepaw just snorted and said, "About how everyone is doing nothing."

He just blinked and said, "Well, you know what happened, right?"

Stonepaw rolled her eyes frustratedly. "The news' effect has been going on in the Clan for a day now. Hopefully it doesn't last a moon! Otherwise the amount of Clan supplies will dwindle quicker than the number of leaves on a tree in leaf-fall! At least it's not leaf-fall or leaf-bare!"

Birchpaw just blinked again. He knew Stonepaw wasn't necessarily sad about Goldenlily's death, but she was acting inconsiderate to other Clan cats, too. "Well, they are mourning, that's why," Birchpaw tried to explain but Stonepaw snapped back, "They shouldn't mourn for too long! Icepaw's punishment got waived due to it but mine didn't! My mentor is ridiculously sitting next to his mate in the nursery as if he is a queen, too! Apparently he thinks that Sandleap will die, too! *They aren't even related that much, anyway!"*

Birchpaw just sighed and replied, "Well, you need to give at least two or three days to mourn for the entire Clan, and a quarter-moon for the immediate family. Remember Moonstar, our grandmother?"

Stonepaw just shrugged. "Right, and nothing else will get done? Trust me, no one wants to sit in a negative environment! I rather join StarClan! And haven't all the cats seen death before? Even Nightnose, Nutclaw, Swanpaw, Shadowpaw and Icepaw have seen Moonstar die!"

Birchpaw sighed again, since he thought she was being sort of stubborn. He further explained, "Well, the two deaths were very different, though. Moonstar got killed inside of her den by Falconblue, the deputy at the time, so no one witnessed it. Everyone was also preparing for her death since she was sick anyway, especially your father and my mother, who are already grown-up and could handle the grief. And my father got to be the leader since there were no bigger conflicts anymore. As for Goldenlily, she abruptly died with no warning of her death, and she was in pain, too, and everyone witnessed it. Not to mention there was blood coming out of the kitting area. The five of them are also only apprentices or young warriors who haven't seen a lot of death before, and she was only thirty-four moons old, which is still technically too young to die as a warrior. And now there is even more problems. Petalkit and Mousekit have no mother to nurse from, unlike their older siblings, and we don't have any nursing queens, since Flipsnow and Redwater's kits were already weaned and Heronwing's kits are almost apprentices! The closest one to giving birth is my sister, Sandleap, but she still has one and a half more moons to go, and newborn kits can't survive that long without milk! They actually can't survive a day without milk, and the only milk they got to drink was right before Goldenlily died. So there are also severe aftereffects because my father, the leader, is also very worried about what to do, since we will run out of time soon."

Stonepaw surprisingly listened to his long monologue without interrupting or saying anything, but she still wasn't very convinced. "Fine, I understand, but what do you expect *me* to do? Pretend to feel sad, too? I just pity our future because of this!" she retorted.

Birchpaw shook his head. "No, that is not what you should do. Even if you don't feel bad, instead of mocking Nightnose you should feel at least some sympathy for him and Icepaw and her siblings."

Stonepaw just blinked. "Well, it's not like I am mocking Icepaw, though, or making her feel even more bad! I don't even want to look at her if we are having an emergency, so definitely not when she is mourning, since I have no good relation to her, anyway! But Nightnose is *my* mentor! I will be a warrior soon so I need to wrap up all my training soon! Any precious time wasted is a total disgrace!"

"Well, you can say something to comfort them," Birchpaw suggested. "It's not only about what you do but also what you don't do." But Stonepaw snorted and replied in disinterest, "Have you ever heard of the saying, don't say anything if you have nothing nice to say? Right, but I don't have anything nice to say."

Birchpaw just blinked at her response and narrowed his eyes and replied strictly, "Well, then instead of complaining about other Clanmates' actions, you can try doing Clan duties by yourself, since you aren't a new apprentice, but a senior apprentice instead, so you can defend yourself and hunt by yourself. Your actions will be very appreciated by the rest of the Clan since you are still working hard to feed the Clan when others are still mourning!"

Stonepaw blinked a few times before understanding what he said. Then she looked at him in a more friendly light than before. "Well, that actually makes sense. Since you are also the only other senior apprentice that isn't mourning like that, we can go on a hunting patrol together."

Birchpaw stared at her for a moment and thought about she did in the past. Swanpaw had told him (using sign language, of course) that Stonepaw had led her to a ditch somewhere just outside of camp and pushed her in. He didn't know if it was safe to go with her, alone, anyway, so he decided to get one more apprentice. Which was Primrosepaw, since she wasn't too broken down, either.

Primrosepaw had agreed since her mentor, Hailstream, was also mourning for Goldenlily and didn't want to train right now, but she wanted to. But she and Stonepaw had looked warily at each other, which Birchpaw thought was probably because Stonepaw had pushed Swanpaw in and Primrosepaw was slow. *Well, at least she doesn't tell Swanpaw or Primrosepaw that they're dumb or slow anymore, especially Swanpaw,* thought Birchpaw hopefully. He did wonder how Primrosepaw was strong enough to handle Goldenlily's death at such a tender age but he thought it had something to do with her fall. Even if she didn't remember it much, her fall must have been much scarier than Goldenlily's death. He thought about Quailpaw who was in a similar situation and figured he wasn't too broken down either, but he still wanted to be there for his friends, which was fine by Birchpaw.

Birchpaw wasn't too sad about it either, because of what Goldenlily had told him a half moon ago. He also thought that he became stronger with Moonstar's death, as to him, he had met Moonstar only once, and he didn't know the full scope of her sickness. But he was still deeply troubled by Goldenlily's words and finality and didn't know what to do with the information. But he shook it away.

Birchpaw, Primrosepaw and Stonepaw told Snowstar that they were going on patrol, so that he could be alerted in case they didn't come back. Snowstar still looked a little wary about Stonepaw being with Birchpaw and Primrosepaw, but he allowed it and said that they were committed enough to the Clan even when it was still going through a brief period of sadness, which made them feel better. The two she-cat apprentices looked happy that they would finally get to be on a hunting patrol without a warrior, but something still troubled Birchpaw. *Will things be normal again? Or will there be more catastrophes and dire secret discoveries to come?*

**This is a chapter subpage of MoonClan's ambitious story (1): The First Four Leaders.**

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