Jack Noir/Spades Slick

## Spades Slick

Hearts Boxcars, subordinate

**Spades Slick**, referred to in short as **Slick** or **SS**, is a Dersite exile from the beta trolls' session. He is the leader of the Midnight Crew. He is the post-exile alter ego of the Jack Noir from the trolls' session of Sgrub.

## Profile

### Personality

See: Jack Noir#Personality

Slick has an affinity for convoluted schemes .

### Appearance

Slick is of average height and wears a constant scowl. Like the rest of his gang, he wears a dapper black suit, hat, and dress shoes.

After having one eye gouged out by Snowman, Slick has a bloody gash over one eye for a short time. This wound is quickly stitched shut by Stitch. At the end of *Don't Bleed on the Suits*, Snowman rips off one of Slick's arms.

### Possessions

* Deck of Cards  / War Chest  – A gray chest marked with black spikes and a spade. Contains:
	+ Various playing cards and bladed weapons
	+ Crosbytop
		- The lower right-hand corner of the computer is cracked due to Slick stabbing it with a knife to destroy the built-in clock feature.
	+ and Heist Map
	+ Backup hat  – Kept just in case  something happens to his current hat. It contains two licorice scotty dogs that Slick seems to value very much .
	+ Spade Key/Rules card for Blackjack  — There was a barcode on the back of it. Slick was in possession of this card for as long as he could remember. Its significance was unknown.
	+ Vendetta Itinerary  — Contains pictures of every member of The Felt. Red X's are drawn over members whom the Midnight Crew have killed.
* Die's voodoo doll  – Taken from Die after killing him.

According to Slick's inventory of weapons, he seems to prefer fighting with knives. He uses the following weapons:

* Cast Iron Horse Hitcher
* Snowman's Lance
* Saber Rattle  – Seems to become the 4 of Spades on the next page.
* Double Edged Sword
* Occam's Razor / King of Spades
* Crowbar's Crowbar
* Bait and Switchblade
* Butterfly Effect Knife
* Rapier Wit

## Relationships

### The Felt

Slick and the Midnight Crew have a fierce rivalry with The Felt. He refers to them derogatorily on multiple  occasions  as "green torsos".

## Biography

### In the Medium

* Jack Noir possesses the Rules card for Blackjack . How he came to possess it is not known.

### Exile

* Before adopting the moniker Spades Slick, the Scurrilous Straggler wanders the desert wasteland  of post-apocalypse Alternia.
	+ The scene that reveals Slick's exiled title and appearance is technically from another timeline, but since the difference between this timeline and the alpha timeline is that Crowbar is still alive, and because The Felt were not relevant in Slick's life before or during this point in time, it can be assumed that this part of Slick's life still holds true in the alpha timeline.
* Before Slick came around, the land that eventually came to be occupied by the Midnight Crew and Felt was nothing but  dust and rocks .
* Spades Slick somehow comes to possess the Crosbytop , but forgets how. He keeps it inside his War Chest.
* Sometime before *Don't Bleed on the Suits*, The Felt knock down one of Slick's favorite casinos .

### Don't Bleed on the Suits

#### The Past

* Sawbuck is standing around near the entrance of the mansion. Spades Slick, Crowbar, and Sawbuck\* appear from the future  (the 4th jump) due to Crowbar and Slick injuring future-Sawbuck\*. Crowbar and Sawbuck accidentally open fire on each other . Slick speculates that they eventually go on to destroy all of the clocks in that room.
* Slick stabs Sawbuck\* again . They are sent forward in time (the 5th jump) to just before Slick first pulled Crowbar's pin from Die's doll.

\*This version of Sawbuck is the one from Crowbar's timeline. See: Crowbar's Timeline.

#### The Present

* To avenge Slick's casino, he plans to plunder Lord English's secret vault  located inside The Felt's mansion. He also plans on killing the rest of The Felt (Except for Snowman ). Slick dispatches the Midnight Crew to various parts of The Felt's mansion. Slick himself enters through the mansion's front entrance.
* Slick destroys all the clocks in the foyer  and in the hallway near the main entrance . While destroying a clock in another room, Itchy runs by  and replaces Slick's hat with Clubs Deuce's hat. Slick trips him up and he falls over, giving Slick the opportunity to beat him to death . He then retrieves and dons his backup hat from his War Chest.
* Die suddenly appears before Slick  in a flash of light. He had decided to jump to a timeline where Itchy was dead (because Itchy always cheats) landing him in the alpha timeline. His doll contains the pins corresponding to Crowbar, Matchsticks, Quarters, and Itchy. Slick bludgeons him  in the side of the head, and he tries to escape by jumping  to a timeline where Slick is dead. In that timeline, The Felt and their mansion doesn't exist either.
* Not wanting to live alone in the deserts of post-apocalypse Alternia, Die unsticks Slick's pin. Slick quickly slits his throat , instantly killing him. Slick takes Die's voodoo doll.
* Four hours later, Slick gets a call from Boxcars  angrily requesting backup. He is being relentlessly accosted by Eggs and Biscuits. Slick calls Droog for additional backup, who says he'll come around after him and Deuce are finished kidnapping Stitch.
* Slick is standing around in the room nearby the mansion's entrance. Another version of Slick from elsewhere in time appears alongside Sawbuck , heavily injured (the 5th jump). The other Slick stabs Sawbuck and they are sent forward in time  (the 6th jump).
* Slick removes Crowbar's pin  from Die's voodoo doll. He is sent to a timeline where Crowbar is still alive. See: Crowbar's Timeline.
* Slick returns to the alpha timeline  with Sawbuck and Crowbar stuffed inside the War Chest. His eye is badly injured. Slick releases his captive Felt members, and Crowbar attempts to shoot him. However, Slick reflects the bullet and it hits Sawbuck. The three of them are sent back in time  (the 4th jump) to before the Midnight Crew invaded the mansion.
* Slick and Sawbuck appear from slightly in the future  (the 7th jump). Slick chokes out Sawbuck so that he falls unconscious. By watching a clock that he knows gets destroyed in the future, he waits for Crowbar and the alpha timeline's Sawbuck to appear. When they do, Slick quickly decapitates them all . Slick picks his War Chest back up (with Stitch's corpse still inside) and leaves.
* Later, Slick and Sawbuck appear from the past  (the 6th jump) in that same room, among the bloodied, decapitated remains of Crowbar and the two Sawbucks. Slick notices that an additional clock has been destroyed inside the room. Slick removes the lance from Sawbuck's torso and they jump back in time again  (the 7th jump).
* Droog calls Slick and tells him that they forced Stitch to make effigies of Slick and Droog , but they still need Deuce and Boxcars' backup hats. Slick says he has Deuce and Boxcars' hats (Deuce's because Itchy give it to him and Boxcars because Slick has the Wrathtub of a Boxcars from another timeline) and he's on his way.
* Droog has Stitch patch up the wound in Slick's eye .
* Slick pretends to joust  using the Horse Hitcher and Snowman's lance. Snowman catches him in the act . Slick throws his hat down in disgust.
* Slick storms into the room with the vault and impales Stitch on Snowman's lance , killing him, and preventing him from lighting Slick and Droog's effigies on fire
* Slick destroys Eggs's egg timer  with Crowbar's crowbar, negating its temporal effects and removing all of Eggs and Biscuits's temporal doubles.
* Slick goes to pry open Lord English's vault with the crowbar, but Clover pleads for them not to , as it would be bad luck.
* By prying open the vault with the crowbar , Slick is sent to a highly unfavorable timeline where everything is destroyed and everyone is dead except for him and Snowman. See: Highly Unfavorable Timeline.

#### Crowbar's Timeline

The following events take place in the timeline where Crowbar is still alive that Slick goes to using Die's voodoo doll. Every instance of Spades Slick mentioned here (except for Scurrilous Straggler) is the Slick from the timeline that is the focus of the intermission.

* Before adopting the moniker Spades Slick, the Scurrilous Straggler wanders the desert wasteland  of post-apocalypse Alternia. One day, Spades Slick, Crowbar, and Sawbuck appear from the future  (the 2nd jump). SS appreciates Slick's sense of fashion, not realizing that it's him from the future.
* Slick knocks out Crowbar  and takes his crowbar. He shoves Crowbar's body in the War Chest and stabs Sawbuck . Slick and Sawbuck are sent to a point in time after the firefight was supposed to take place (the 3rd jump).
* Years later, in The Felt's mansion, Crowbar and Stitch are setting up cover for the upcoming firefight with the Midnight Crew. Slick and Sawbuck appear from the future  (the 1st jump) due to Slick injuring Sawbuck. Slick kills Stitch and throws a knife at Crowbar, but Crowbar deflects the knife into Sawbuck . Slick, Crowbar, and Sawbuck are sent far into the past to before the town was built (the 2nd jump).
* Slick jumps to this timeline by pulling Crowbar's pin  from Die's doll. In this timeline, Crowbar has rallied The Felt against the Midnight Crew  and the two gangs are locked in a firefight. However, the encounter is roughly halted by the appearance of Snowman . She jabs her cigarette holder in Slick's eye , wounding him. She then walks away.
* Slick injures Sawbuck with Snowman's lance . The two are sent back in time to before the firefight (the 1st jump).
* Hearts Boxcars shows up to the venue of the firefight to find that Stitch has been killed and Crowbar and Sawbuck are missing. Slick and Sawbuck appear from back in time  (the 3rd jump) before the town was built. Slick asks Boxcars for his Wrathtub. He puts Sawbuck and Stitch inside the Wrathtub, then puts the Wrathtub inside the War Chest. Slick sticks Crowbar's pin back into Die's doll  and jumps back to the alpha timeline.

#### Highly Unfavorable Timeline

The following events take place in the highly unfavorable timeline that Slick was sent to for using Crowbar's crowbar on Lord English's secret vault.

* Spades Slick stands before Lord English's open vault. The entire mansion has been destroyed and everyone is dead  except for him and Snowman.
* Inside the vault is a locked spade hatch  with a keyhole/barcode reader. Before Slick can either scan his wrist or the back of the Rules of Blackjack card, Snowman appears. She shoots a hole in his card  and rips off his arm  that had the barcode printed on it. She shuts the safe, locking him inside. However, Slick simply flips his sprite  and the barcode on his wrist returns.
	+ The breaking of the 4th wall in this scene sheds doubt on how much of it is canon.
* Slick scans his wrist and enters a command station hidden underneath the vault . He finds a terminal inside viewing  Karkat Vantas in the midst of the earliest phases of Sgrub. Slick recognizes him, remarking that it's "been a long time".
* Slick starts to type messages to Karkat using the command station terminal.

## Trivia

* At the end of *Don't Bleed on the Suits*, Slick has an arm and an eye missing , making him bear resemblance to the beta humans' Black Queen . This could be foreshadowing to when the beta humans' Jack Noir kills the Black Queen and steals her ring , giving him the pre-entry prototyped attributes of the maimed harlequin , causing him to lose an arm and an eye.