Return To The Island, Part One

**Sixteen brand new contestants arrive at Camp Wawanakwa and prepare for the newest installment of *Total Drama*.**

## Chapter 1

A pink Minivan with the words “Happy Tots Daycare” written on it parks in front of a small blue house. On either side of the road, there are big snow banks and the houses are covered in Christmas Decorations. Chef Hatchet walks out of the Minivan wearing his purple button-up shirt and tie with khaki pants and his boots. Holding a great big bag with him, passing across the neatly cared-for yard, he walks up the small flight of stairs. At the top of the stairs, there is a small porch adorned with pots that hold dead plants. A portico is overhead, with boughs of pine branches hung on the underside. Chef Hatchet walks up to the door and hits the doorbell. There is a buzzer sound inside. Presently, the door is flung open. Chris McLean appears on the other side of the door, wearing an ugly knitted Christmas Sweater and Flannel Pajama pants. He is also wearing comfortable moccasins.

Chris: “CHEF! To What do I owe the pleasure?”

Chef: “The kids at the daycare wanted me to give you something. Mind if I come inside?”

Chris: “Why of course. Don't mind the clutter.”

Chef Hatchet follows Chris through a cramped hallway filled with Christmas Decorations as well as pictures hanging on the wall. Glancing at these, it is apparent that they are for productions that Chris has starred in. There is a nice smell of Hot Cocoa coming from down the hall. Chris leads him to the end of the hall and into a neat dining room, containing a long, slender Dining Table, laden with Baked Rolls carefully frosted. There are four cups of Cocoa at the table.

Chris: “Excuse the mess, the children of the house have been up and about.”

Chef: “Children? You never mentioned you had kids.”

Chris: “Yeah, well, I do. They're not in right now. Too busy visiting their friends out of town.”

Chef: “Well, here it is,” Chef hands Chris the sack. Chris reaches in and grabs out a small green and red box.

Chris: “I wonder what this could be?” He doesn't hesitate to open it. Out tumbles a little Red and Silver cigarette lighter. “Ha, this must be from Duncan Junior.” Chris inspects it. “With the McLean Brand Official Seal. Custom-Made. I love it.”

Over the next few minutes, Chris unwraps several gifts.

Chef: “And lastly, this one.” Chef hands Chris what appears to be a book, wrapped softly in the same red and green Wrapping Paper.

Chris unwraps it and a dossier falls out.

Chris: “What is this?” Chris picks it up and starts flipping through it. “Some kind of joke?”

Chef: “No. The producers have greenlit a new season.”

Chris: “After all this time? YES! This is the best day of my LIFE! Tell the producers to get us a new cast. It's Lights, Cameras, ISLAND!”

**INTRO**

A shiny new Light swings up from the bottom of the screen

Another one swings down from the top of the screen (all the while the

music is starting up). A camera shoots out of a hole in the ground

with a bird nest on it. One shoots out of a tree, sending a squirrel flying

out of the tree, along with its acorns it was stashing. The (Something or other)

claps, and the camera zooms along the boardwalk, past Chris, who is

sitting on a lawn chair. It zooms to the top of the hill and looks down before

diving into the shark-infested waters below. Damien is swimming after a

McLean-Brand Chris Head, which is floating just in front of him. Camera

follows the bubbles up to where Raj and Wayne are hitting a hockey puck

across a wooden board over the water. An eagle flies by and snags the

hockey puck and drops it on MK, who is petting a bear in the woods. The

bear runs off and passes the waterfall, where Axel and Ripper are looking at

each other with googoo eyes while sitting on a raft, which falls over the side

of the waterfall. Zee is seen on the broken log holding his Soda Can and he

winks at the screen, while Axel and Ripper are seen falling behind him. The

water from them splashing soaks Zee, and he drops his Soda Can, which

rolls toward the confessional. Julia steps out of said confessional, and trips

on the Soda Can, falling flat on her face. The camera pans into the cafeteria,

where Chef pulls a giant chunk of something out of the pot of green stew.

Nichelle and Chase look at Chef in horror. Pans out slightly and Scary Girl

scares Priya out of the Cafeteria with red food dye or ketchup all over Scary

Girl's face and hands. Pans outside and Emma and Bowie are giggling while

watching Caleb from a distance while he's flexing his muscles or something. Chris drives up in a speedboat and blows up the area behind Caleb, sending

him flying. It then pans to the Firepit area, where all Sixteen campers are

surrounding the fire on their stump stools. Priya and Chase are looking at

each other with Goo Goo eyes and are about to Smoochy Kiss when Chris

jumps out with a giant remote with a red button on it. The camera pans out

and lights up the sign that reads “Total Drama Island”.

Chris McLean stands on the boardwalk, just like he did fifteen years ago.

Chris: “Yo, this is Chris McLean coming at you with the official first episode of Season 7 of the hottest Reality TV Show of all time Right Now. We have sixteen contestants arriving at this crappy Summer Camp, Camp Wawanakwa, to compete for a chance for the $1,000,000 Prize!

“Since it's been a while, let me tell you how it's gonna go in case you forgot. But I know there are some of you out there who will never forget. Shoutout to the Total Drama Wiki for documenting every single aspect of this hit Reality Show.

“Anyway, our sixteen contestants will be placed on two teams of eight and will have to compete in Team Challenges against each other. The winning team will receive a luxurious night at the newly-rebuilt McLean Hotel, a state-of-the-art Hotel where they will be treated to large breakfasts, massages and even Hot Tubs. Seriously, the producers went insane with the luxury this time around. There's even a 90” flatscreen TV in there.

“The losing team, meanwhile, will have no such luxury. They will be forced to vote out one of their own in the always-dramatic Elimination Ceremonies, where all but one camper will receive a marshmallow. The unlucky loser will get carried off of the island via our newest Elimination Device: The Airlift of Shame.

“On top of this dismal task, the losers will sleep in the musty old cabins from the very first season. I still don't know how the Interns dragged that one out of the depths of the lake.

“And now, let's meet our new punching ba- I mean, *Contestants*! First up is Emma!”

Emma runs up with a small pocket book held in her arm.

Emma: “HI, CHRIS MCLEAN! OMG I'VE NEVER BEEN TO SUMMER CAMP BEFORE! My Parents said that I had to wait until I was sixteen before I could go to summer camp and now I'm Sixteen! YAY!” Emma gasps. “IS THAT A CHICKADEE? OMG THEY'RE EVEN PRETTIER IN PERSON! LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT IT!” Emma runs off screen to go take a look at the Chickadee.

Chris: “Er, okay then. Next up is Bowie!”

Bowie walks on screen.

Bowie: “Hi, Chris, how're you?” (in a goofy voice)

Chris: “I'm good. But your contract clearly states that if you use that voice at any time, then I am allowed to eliminate you on the spot.”

Bowie: (In normal voice) “Okay”

Bowie walks to where Emma is.

Emma: “Hi, Bowie, my name is Emma! Isn't it *wonderful* here?!”

Bowie: “Yeah, aside from a certain host with a bad attitude.”

Chris: “ANYway, next is.. Wayne and --”

Wayne (Offscreen): “Read the card” Wayne hands Chris a card.

Chris: “Wayne And Raj! - Two professional hockey players... Yeah, right guys. You're still in High School.”

Wayne and Raj walk on screen. Wayne: “I *told* you it wouldn't work.”

Raj: “It was worth a try.”

Emma: “HIIIII Guys!”

Raj: (Whispering to Wayne) “Reminds me of Anna from school”

Wayne chuckles.

Chris: “Next up is Julia!”

Julia walks out with music playing. Wayne stares at her with his eyes wide and his mouth in a gaping satisfied smile.

Wayne: “Hi, I'm Wayne.”

Julia: “I have a boyfriend. Yeah, it's serious.” Julia picks dirt off of her fingernails. “I only came here because my mom said I needed to be more 'well-rounded' and my daddy is sick of me making charges on his Credit Card. Yeah, it's not easy being a Material Girl.”

Emma: “A what?”

Julia: “Oh, don't tell me you don't know me from TikTok. I'm Julia O'Halloran. Yeah, the famous TikToker. I have over 53.2 Million Followers. Yeah, it's true. Mostly I do makeup tutorials. Speaking of, I really think you could use a good makeup job, yeah.”

Bowie: “O'Halloran? I *know* that last name from something!”

Chris: “Alright, stop focusing on the losers! Next up is Millie!”

Wayne: “Hi, I'm Wayne!”

Millie: “Nice to meet you! I'm Millie. It's so exciting being here after watching the previous seasons. I thought it was canceled for good! But once I heard they were holding sign ups for the new season, I just *had* to sign up!”

Chris: “Next is... Zee!”

Zee walks out holding a soda can, and sips out of it. Zee: “Hey, guys! I wouldn't be surprised if you all know me, being the face of Super Soda and all that.”

Bowie: “Super Soda? Never heard of it.”

Zee: “You *gotta* know it! (In a deep voice) 'Super Soda: For The Athlete In All of Us!'. That's the slogan. But I like the old one better. (Sips more Soda). 'It's Refreshin'!'.”

Wayne: “Hi, I'm Wayne!”

Julia: “OMG, how many times are you going to say that? If you don't cut it out, then I'm going to slap you, yeah. One time, Yamamotoyama Ryūta gave me wrestling lessons. Yeah, he may be big and heavy but he can pack a hit. That's why he's a world-famous football player, yeah.”

Raj: “He's no football player, he's a Sumo Wrestler. He was in the music video for 'Shape Of You' by Ed Sheeran. I love that song.”

Julia: “That's because you're a nerd, yeah.”

Chris: “*Next* is Axel! A military girl whose parents both are in the marines!”

Axel walks on screen with a grumpy face.

“You lot of doggy bags are undisciplined! I can see it in the way you stand there gawking instead of saluting me! I'M A MILITARY CADET! RESPECT ME!”

Chef Hatchet: \*Chuckles\* “I like her already.” Chef salutes Axel.

Axel: “At ease, Soldier.”

Chris: “Hahahaha. This one's gonna be fun to watch. Next is Ripper!”

Ripper appears, sliding on his knees humming “Take Me Out To The Ballgame”.

Ripper: “Three-time All-Pro Baseball player's Son, coming through. None of you need to look at me the wrong way or I'll fix your eyes for you.”

Wayne: “That's not very nice.”

Ripper: “I'm not *known* for being nice.”

Millie: “Good to know”

Chris: Next up is... Priya!”

Priya walks on screen. Priya: “Hello, everyone! I am Priya! I look forward to my stay here.”

Chris: “You don't get out often. And you don't have many accomplishments, aside from being a Straight-A Student. I'd recommend you don't do anything dumb.”

Priya: “I don't need *your* help. What I *will* need is the other contestants' help to win, though. I believe that anybody can win so long as they have enough friends.”

Ripper and Axel guffaw simultaneously.

Chris: Next is Caleb!

Caleb walks on screen and Priya, Emma, and Bowie all gawk at him.

Caleb: “Hello, guys. Nice to see you all. I think someone dropped this on their way in.” Caleb holds up a photo of a sandpiper. Emma runs over excited. “YES, YES, THIS IS MINE! THANKS SOOOO MUCH!” Emma hugs Caleb.

Chris: “Ahem. Anyways, Next is Scary Girl!”

Scary Girl walks on screen with a blank expression.

Julia: “She looks like cringe, yeah. Almost as cringe as SparklyUnic0rn\_203.”

Millie: “Who is that?”

Julia: “This *really* cringe TikToker. Yeah, you wouldn't know anything about it. TikTok is way out of your league. Just like everything else, judging by the looks of you. Yeah”

Millie: “Excuse *me*?!” Millie rushes at Julia, but Caleb steps in the way.

Caleb: “Let's not resort to fighting. We barely know each other.”

Millie: “I've known that little twig long enough to want to pull her hair back so far that it grows out of her kneecap!”

Caleb: “I understand your frustration, but we can't let our anger get the best of us. This world is full enough of people who are angry all the time. So why not take a deep breath and fill it with people who are happy all the time.”

Ripper: “If everyone was happy and harmonious all the time, then there would be no Drama, right, Chris?”

Chris: “Yeah, but I can't have you kids tearing each other to pieces, because we just got this show on the road again and I don't need a million and a half lawsuits, so.. Please stop fighting, guys.”

“Next up to join us is Damien!”

Damien walks out with a slight limp.

Damien: “Hi, guys! How're all of you? I know I don't know you, but I hope we can be good friends.”

Ripper: “What did you do with your leg? Did it get run over by some City Bus or something?”

Damien: “Uh, no... It's a long story. I'd rather not talk about it right now.”

Chris: “Ripper, how observant you are! Damien here received an amputation on his left leg after he fell down a Cliff in Arizona while trying to film a music video.”

Damien sighs and tries to hide his face in his coat.

Wayne: “A music video, huh? Was it something cool at least?”

Damien: “Uh... not really, I, uh make my own music but it's not that good.”

Priya: “Well, somebody had to have thought it was good if you were making a video for it.”

Damien: “No, I was just, uh, messing around. Not really making a video, you know.”

Ripper: “That's bull. What are you, some kind of Rapper? I think you were definitely tryna make a video and you tripped over your own shoelace or something.”

Chef: “Alright, shut up you maggots. We're running on a time limit here. We have time for chatting later.”

Chris: “And next up is Nichelle. She claims that she is a TikTok influencer. But... we already have a TikToker.”

Julia: “Yeah, I'm like the most-subscribed-to young TikToker out there. Yeah, 53.2 Million Followers is a big deal. You wouldn't even know.”

Nichelle walks on screen, chatting on her phone. Nichelle: “Yes, yes! I'm really here! Camp Wawanakwa in the flesh. There's already people here. Yeah? Oh my god, that's so cool. I can't wait to see it when--”

Chris snatches the phone from Nichelle. Chris: “Who is this?"

Person on Phone: "Uh... Nick?"

Chris: "No Spies allowed on the premises.” Chris throws the phone into the lake. “And no electronics are allowed either, so there is no contact with the modern world.”

Nichelle looks astonished. Nichelle: “That was my Apple iPhone 14 Pro Max! OMG you destroyed it! I spent my life's savings on that!”

Chris: “Well, you'd better hope you win the Million Dollars so you can replace it.”

Julia: “Your life savings? Well, then I guess it's clear that you're no TikToker. Yeah, a real TikToker would have enough money to buy one herself.”

Nichelle: “Who said I was a TikToker?”

Chris whistles nonchalantly. Chris: “It could've been one of the Interns, the way they've been sneaking around lately. Chef actually caught one eating his personal stash of Mint Oreo Cookies. Double Stuf, too.”

Wayne: “So if you're not a TikToker, then what *are* you?”

Nichelle: “Oh, I'm a TikToker. I was just trying to keep a low profile. People who are high profile generally have a hard time blending in.”

Wayne: “Man, wouldn't that be nice?”

Julia: “If you're a TikToker, then why haven't I heard of you?”

Nichelle: “I don't know, why *haven't* you heard of me?”

Julia: “I'm sure I don't know. Yeah, an O'Halloran has no need to bother themselves with lower class people.”

Nichelle: “Oh, you're the Julia O'Halloran kid? The one who keeps sending me hate mail because my TikToks are 'cringe'? And because your mom's name is known far and wide, blah blah blah?” Julia: \*Gasps Dramatically.\* “*YOU'RE SPARKLYUNIC0RN\_203?!*”

Nichelle: “Yeah, I am. (to everyone else) I don't know what Ms. O'Halloran's been telling you, but I have 53.2 Million Followers that don't think I'm cringe.”

Raj: “Wow! It's a wonder! Both of you have 53.2 Million Followers?”

Nichelle: “She has 53.2 Million Followers? This I need to see. What's your TikTok name?”

Julia: “Yeah, it's TheRealJuliaOHalloran.”

Raj: “That doesn't sound like a makeup channel to me. It sounds more like a celebrity's Twitter Account.”

Bowie: “Wait a minute, what does your mother do?”

Julia: “Uh, she hosts some lame-o TMZ wannabe show. My dad does, too. Yeah, both of the losers are into it. Something about seeing celebrities running down the street in their underwear is really fascinating to people like them.”

Bowie: “Your mother is Blaineley O'Halloran?”

Julia: “Yeah, obviously. Who else would it be?”

Nichelle: “Now I doubt you have any followers, do you?”

Julia: “Well, I might've stretched the truth a bit, but I really do have a few followers.”

Chris: “This is getting boring! Let's bring in the next contestant!”

Nichelle: \*Ignoring Chris\* “Oh, yeah? How many Followers you got, blondietops?”

Julia: “Like, 5 thousand. But at least I don't post cringe like you.”

Chris: “I Feel like I'm being ignored here. I have the next contestant! Chase!”

Chase walks onscreen.

Chase: “Hello, everyone.”

Ripper: \*Groans\* “What is with the goody-two-shoes kids here? We need more *DRAMA!*”

Chase: “Uh, nice to meet you, too?”

Ripper: “Yeah, I guess.”

Chris: “Well, that introduction was underwhelming. I thought you said in your audition tape that you were guaranteed to make a reaction from everyone when you walked in?”

Zee: “Tough crowd I guess.”

Chase: \*Whispering\* “Especially crabby pants over here. \*Gestures at Ripper\*

Chris: “Anyways, we have our sixteenth and Final contestant! MK!”

MK walks in. She is holding a large cage covered with a blanket.

Chris: “What is *that*?”

MK: “It's a once-endangered bird that I named Freddie.” \*Takes the blanket off of the cage and there is a Bald Eagle inside the cage.”

Several of the contestants back up. Ripper walks up to the eagle and bends down till it is at face level with him. He pokes a finger at Freddie. Ripper: “Cool bird. Is he dangerous?”

Freddie snaps at Ripper's finger, and Ripper jumps back.

MK Giggles. MK: “I think he likes you. Considering that the last person he met he tried to claw. Now, I think I might want to release him here in the wild.”

Chris: “No. No way are you releasing that... that menace into my woods. He'll take my head off when I'm taking my outdoor shower!”

MK: “No he won't, he's only trained to hunt for small animals like rabbits.”

Chris: “Still. No. I won't have it. Get it off my Island.”

MK: “But I make it my goal to make friends with all the creatures of the forest.”

Chris: “Trust me, there are some creatures in there that are best left alone.”

MK: “Like what?”

Chris: “Like the Sasquatchanakwa. That guy got a hold of one of our interns the other day, and we haven't seem him since.”

Chef: “Mmm-Hmm.” \*Rolls eyes\*

Chris: Anyways, head down to the Firepit to be sorted into teams.

Later, at the firepit. All sixteen contestants are gathered, with Chris and Chef standing by. Chef is holding a pair of colored rolls of fabric.

Chris: “Alright, the producers contacted me to let me know who will be on what team. You've all been randomly chosen. If I call your name, stand on the Red Carpet on the left.”

Chef places the Red roll of fabric on the ground, to the left of the campfire.

Chris: “Caleb, Nichelle, Julia, Bowie, Wayne and Raj, Emma and MK. You're the Frogs Of Death. Everyone else: Priya, Millie, Ripper, Damien, Axel, Chase and Zee. You're on the Ferocious Trouts!”

Scary Girl: “What about me?”

Chris: “What *about* you?”

Scary Girl: “What team am I on?” Chris: “You see, your contract clearly states that you must have at least one line prior to the sorting of the teams, and those who don't talk more than once will be instantly eliminated. It's all part of our Fairness Guarantee. That way, everyone gets to speak their minds.”

Scary Girl: “Well, that's a dumb rule.”

Chris: “Sadly, yes, but a rule nonetheless. Since you're having such a hard time accepting the rules, let me show you to the Airlift of Shame.” Chris walks over to a large Helicopter Landing Pad with an “X” written on it sloppily in paint. Scary Girl doesn't move.

Chris: “Oh, yeah, we didn't plan for them not moving. Here's the deal: you can join the Ferocious Trouts. Because I'm too lazy to force you to move. But, if they vote you out, then your elimination is final! Now all of you, head out to the Team Cabins and enjoy your fist night here... or don't!”

The teams all head to the cabins.

Chris: “What will the new teams be? Who will be Eliminated first? And will Scary Girl be all that scary? Find out next time on Total. Drama. ISLAND!”

## Trivia

* This, along with the other episodes from *Return to the Island*, are in their full form here on the wiki!