"C.V.A."

Ah, finished! Now that's a COLONIAL SCARE-RA DREAD COAT UNIFORM that's sure to get noticed each and every MINUTE, MAN aha-ha-ha-ha-ha! To keep with the SCREAM of tonight's tale, I shall be SCARE-ING this outfit Kiddies. It's all about a group of PUTRID-POWDERED-WIG-WEARERS known as the...

It was back in the Fall of 1934, up, in the town of Colonial Creek, Vermont, that a man, a woman and a boy rode in a car together. The man parked the car in the driveway of a Revolutionary-style house. “Well, welcome home Mary, welcome home Son!” the man said to the woman then to the boy. “Awe, the home is beautiful, Frank” Mary replied to him. “Yeah, Pap, it’s neat” Frank’s son said to him. “Yes, Sam, this is a colonial town for sure like its name reads!” Frank told his son, smiling back at him. That evening, Mary and Frank drank glasses of wine together out, in their brand new front room. They sat in chairs beside each other. Meanwhile, Sam carried a lit-lantern as he walked down the cellar-stairs. He shined it around the darkened-basement and spotted a huge trunk on one side of the room.

The boy approached the trunk and opened it. There was a man within it, dressed in a powdered wig, and a black colonial uniform. Sam gasped in surprise. He noticed the man had two fangs hanging down out of his mouth. The boy hesitantly reached into the trunk and touched the vampire’s shoulder. It woke immediately, opening its huge eyes of solid, dead-black. Sam gasped in shock and backed up then. The colonial vampire sat up then, turning its head with the sickening-sounds of cracking bones, and showing a mouthful of white, slick fangs. It hissed at the boy and Sam screamed, running upstairs and slamming the cellar-door closed. He latched it and ran into the front room then.

Sam ran in front of the roaring-fireplace before his folks. “Samuel, what’s the matter Son??” his mother asked him in surprise. “Mama, there is a vampire downstairs in the basement!!!” he responded, saying. “Mary stay here and keep warm dear!” Frank said to her, getting up and following Sam. Downstairs in the cellar, Frank and Sam shined lanterns on the huge trunk. Frank held a rifle and looked into the open-trunk, discovering it was empty then. The next day, Sam was walking out of a schoolhouse with two other boys within a crowd of kids. “So, what do ya think of Colonial Creek so far, Sam?” one boy asked him. “It’s alright. Thanks for being my new Friend Alexander” Sam responded to him. “Hey, what about me Sam?” the other boy said, asking. “Thank you for both being my new Friends Henry” Sam answered him. “Sure” Alexander and Henry said. Two teenage bullies ran in front of Alexander, Sam and Henry then, stopping them.

“So, Sam, you’re brand new here in our town of Colonial Creek eh? Just what our school needs a third geek!” one of the bullies told Sam. “Yeah, George, The Three Musketeers Of Idiocy!” the second bully said to the first, laughing. “Indeed, Roger, indeed” George replied to him and shoved Sam down. “There’s more where that came from jerk” George said to Sam and he and Roger left. Henry and Alexander helped Sam up as he grunted in pain. As they walked through town together, they saw George and Roger smoking cigarettes behind a store. The bullies saw Alexander, Sam and Henry too and when the boys walked faster towards the store, George and Roger ran, grabbed Sam and Alexander by their arms and ran back behind the store. Henry ran to them all. "So, ya think you idiots can get away from us do ya? Well, nice try jerks. Do not go snitching to your Folks that you saw us smoking either" George said to them. "Come on, George and Roger, just let us go please!" Alexander said, begging. "No one ever stands up to me you jerk! NO ONE!!!" George shouted at Alexander. He and Roger punched Alexander and Sam in their mouths, causing them to scream and fall. Henry kicked George in his leg, George screamed and pulled a switch-blade knife on him. Roger pulled one on Alexander also. "The next time we see you jerks, we will stab you to death!" the bullies said to the boys and took off quickly.

That night, Sam was in his brand new bedroom, looking at a teddy bear as he sat up in bed. There was the vampire dressed in its black colonial uniform and powdered wig, glaring in the window at him from out, on the porch with its huge solid-black eyes. Sam gasped in fear, seeing it too and it bowed to him. It grinned at him with an eerie mouthful of yellow, sharpened-fangs. Meanwhile, the teenage bullies we’re walking through town together, swigging Jim Beam Whiskey from bottles. The sounds of a horse galloping were heard all of a sudden. Roger glanced behind them and it was a guy who was also dressed in a black colonial uniform, wearing a powdered-wig too, riding a steed. The horse galloped faster, and as it was passing Roger, the man gripped Roger’s neck and strongly held him as the steed kept on going. “HEY WHAT THE??!” the bully screamed, writhing and thrashing in mid-air. The man whose face was in shadow, pulled the reins, the horse stopped, and he got off it. As George was racing to them, the guy put his face into a lamp-light and hissed being a third colonial vampire. Confused, Roger writhed and screamed. The vampire also had huge eyes of solid black and its fangs were a deep-red color. He turned the bully around to face him and the monster sunk its knife-sharp fangs into Roger’s throat. Roger screamed more loudly, turning a dead white, as George got to them. George stopped by the vampire, hearing its sickening-feeding on Roger. Roger’s screams and thrashing stopped suddenly and he went limp and dead within the vampire’s strong grasp. It turned its head with the sickening-sounds of cracking bones to George, hissing menacingly at the second bully.

Meanwhile, the colonial vampire outside Sam’s bedroom window gestured with his hand for the boy to come to his window. Sam hesitantly did and opened it. “Ah, young Samuel I presume. I am Perseus. Doeth not fear my boy. I knoweth of ye bad fortune with those older boys ye and ye Friends had” the vampire told Sam, explaining and introducing himself. “Hello Perseus sir. Do you also live downstairs in my brand new basement?” Sam asked. “Vhy, yes, my dear boy I doeth indeed. Ve haveth a club known as C.V.A. standing fore Colonial Vampire Association. Ve consist of five of us ye seeth. Ve shall saveth ye and ye Friends from ye wicked pursuers” Perseus explained. George ran, gasping up the road in town then, followed by the vampire on horseback. Tied to the horse with ropes was the corpse of Roger behind the vampire. The bully slipped on a few leaves on the ground, fell over smashing his Jim Beam bottle, and the vampire leaped off of the steed to him. George looked up at it and the thing bent over, attacking him. Sounds of tearing flesh and sucking fluid were heard among George’s screams within the shadows. Perseus took Sam downstairs into his cellar and candles were lit around the room. The vampire from the trunk was sitting up in it and climbed out. He smiled at the boy showing his mouthful of slick white sharpened-fangs. The colonial vampire with the fangs of deep red came downstairs carrying the dead bodies of Roger and George. A fourth colonial vampire in another colonial uniform of black emerged from a dark corner. That vampire had a mouthful of fangs of bright-green. Finally, a fifth colonial vampire with deep-blue knife-sharp fangs dressed in another black colonial uniform, came out, from beneath the staircase then. “Velcometh to the C.V.A. standing fore thy Colonial Vampire Association, Samuel my boy. I am Franklin” the white fanged-one introduced himself as. “I am Cornelius dear boy” the deep blue fanged one introduced itself to Sam as. “Ah, my name ‘tis Arthur my boy” the bright green fanged-one introduced itself as to Sam. “And I am known as Andrew, Samuel” the vampire with deep-red fangs said, introducing himself as. “Ve five members of Colonial Vampire Association shall feast upon thou corpses of thy wicked humans” Andrew proclaimed to the club. Within the shadows of the cellar, the Colonial Vampire Association feasted, with sounds of tearing flesh and the sucking of liquid. Sam smiled, watching the solid-black-eyes-powdered-wigged-vampires.

Well, Colonial Vampire Association has FRIGHT a REVOLTING-REPUTATION to CREEP eh, boys and GHOULS? It was so nice of Perseus to IN-FRIGHT Sam to their FESTERING-FEAST. Sam SCREAMED to like their club, but his Mother might not. Oh, well, they can try to CELLAR ON IT aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!