Episode 15 - Not The Carpet!

## Intro

**Matt**: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Celestial Expanse Podcast, my name is Matthew, I'll be your DM for today, and playing with us today is Ben as Rell...
**Ben**: Hello.
**Matt**: Jason as Theran...
**Jason**: You can find me at Rellkiller420nicenicenice.
**Matt**: Rebecca as Martle...
**Rebecca**: I'm constantly disappointed by him.
**Matt**: Boston as Juniper...
**Boston**: Crayola crayons: Taste the rainbow.
**Rebecca**: No...
**Natalia**: Fucking you, I swear.
**Matt**: Aw. And Natalia as Z.
**Natalia**: So many wrong crossovers. I hate Juniper, and also, I'm probably not going to be around much longer, cheers.
**Matt**: Nah, you know you love Juniper.
**Natalia**: Uah, sure. I do. I love Juniper.
**Matt**: So, how's everybody doing?
**Ben**: Okay.
**Boston**: My eyeballs are itchy.
**Jason**: Eyeballs?
**Matt**: Allergy season.
**Jason**: Mm.
**Natalia**: I am tilted over the pronunciation of crayons.

## Summary

### Episode Description

The Crew is suddenly attacked while waiting on further instructions from Parliament and Z is in danger! How is the Crew going to get out of this mess?

### Summary

Not seeing Theran and Juniper behind the couch, the attackers ask after the heretic elf and the tiefling. The party is not forthcoming, and the attackers start to doubt whether they got the right room. Martle says they're consorts. The attackers demand the device, under threat of death. Martle sticks to her story, and the leader talks into a communication device. While he's distracted, Martle shoots the one holding a gun to Z's head, to Juniper's consternation. The Inquisitors put up a light shield, and a battle ensues. Z gets away from the Inquisitors, killing one of them. When they see Juniper, one of them says Mama Gail wants her back. Martle's gun jams, and the Inquisitors hypocritically reproach her for swearing. They successfully kill the Inquisitors, and then Eric and some guards come running a bit belatedly to rescue them. Martle tells him what happened, and he says no one should have known they were there. Unless there was a mole, in which case they should have known the device isn't here, and wouldn't have attacked. Except as a distraction. As he says this, a massive explosion shakes the building, coming from the lab containing the device. Z is suspicious of Eric knowing where the explosion was, despite him just having talked into a communication device. Martle and Eric establish that Z is not okay, and they head to the lab.

## Memorable Quotes

**Rebecca**: Iiiii would like to shoot him in the head.
**Boston**: Don't! They might just leave! They don't even see me.
**Rebecca**: That's an 18 to hit.
**Boston**: Oh my god. We could have completely avoided this.
**Jason**: Welcome to D&D!

**Jason**: He just catches an arrow on the head and falls over on Rell.

## Trivia

* Theran may canonically wear axe body spray. This is not recommended as a substitute for bathing.
* Matt created a new rule that pistols can be used in melee without disadvantage.
* When Martle's gun jammed, Rebecca rolled a d20 to determine how bad it was. They rolled a 2, so it just jammed. If they had rolled a 1, her gun would have exploded and been destroyed.
* Eric was nicknamed Olive Boi this episode.