The Golf Corpse

Heh-Heh, hello again Kiddies! It's me your MASTER OF MORBID-MAGAZINES, CREEPS! I was just getting ready for the big P.G.-SLAY GOLF TOURNAMENT this SHRIEK-END! I always tell my Caddy to PUTT IT HERE aha-ha-ha-ha! But while I practice, here's a GAME TO SLAY on...

Back in the Summer of 1960, there was a golfer standing out, on a golf course down in eastern-North Carolina one sunny day. He swung and hit a golf ball with his club. The ball whirled into the hole and he smiled. The golfer whistled "The Battle Hymn Of The Republic" and walked over to the hole. A young lady walked over to him and looked around as bent down and pulled the ball out of the hole as he whistled. She then pulled a knife out of his purse and stabbed the golfer in his back from behind him, as he straightened up. He gasped in pain and fell to the ground, dead. "Good game George Sweetheart!" the young lady said to the dead body of the golfer and ran off quickly. She rode in the passenger's seat of a car, with a man driving it. "So, George is dead honey. Now no sticky divorce!" the young lady said to the man. "Good job, Amy" he replied to her. "Thank y'all Roger" Amy said to him. Roger turned on the car-radio and Chubby Checker sang "The Twist" on it then.

That night, Amy and Roger both drank bottles of gin together within the living room of a beach house. As they stood together, they hugged each other. Roger kissed Amy on her lips and smiled. Meanwhile, a shadowy-shape lurched slowly towards the beach, carrying a shadowy-golf club. Amy walked out, onto the front deck of the beach-house and looked at the Atlantic Ocean. The shadowy-shape lurched to the beach house and stepped into the moonlight. It was the living dead zombie of George, with dead eyes of a pupil-less solid-white, black circles around them, a bald head, having sickening-beige flesh. He shrieked in an eerie high-pitched tone at Amy, and lurched forwards in his short-sleeved-shirt of black, black shorts, white socks and white and brown golf cleats. Amy screamed in horror, seeing him, dropped her bottle of gin on the deck, smashing and spilling it, and ran into the beach-house then. The zombie of George lurched up on the deck, and shrieked again eerily.

Amy latched the front door and Roger put his hands on her shoulders. He looked out the window and George's zombie shrieked at him eerily. Roger screamed and backed away. The dead man lurched back and swung his golf club at the window, smashing it suddenly. Both Amy and Roger screamed. The zombie climbed into the beach house and swung his club at Roger, striking him in the side of his head as he screamed, knocking him to the floor. As Amy screamed at the zombie, he kept raising and lowering his golf club, while shrieking. George did it ten times in a row and Amy looked down. "Roger's dead!" she screamed. Then, George's zombie attacked Amy, biting her on her throat, as she screamed. That night, Amy's dead corpse was lying on the golf course, its mouth open with a golf ball within it. George's zombie hit the ball out of the mouth of the corpse with his golf club and shrieked eerily in the moonlight.

Looks like George had a SWINGING GOOD TIME in the end there! As for Roger, George was quite a HIT ha-ha-ha-ha. George made sure that Roger and Amy JOINED THE CLUB heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!