Inferkit

**Inferkit** is an artificial intelligence program that generates text based on prompts. For some reason the results it gives are really fucking funny and entertaining. Nazarino has wasted 20 dollars on a monthly subscription that gives her 600,000 characters to use. It has been used to create alternate realities and predict the future.

## Beatles albums

### Blue & Lonesome

In a shocking turn of events, the Beatles have announced that they will release an album on Friday. The album was apparently recorded in 1971, but was set to be kept secret for fifty years. "The fifty-year timer is up, and now this final Beatles album can now be released," says Paul McCartney. The title of the new Beatles album is "Blue & Lonesome". Here is the tracklisting for the new Beatles album:

1. Blue & Lonesome
2. Not Guilty
3. The Mighty Quinn
4. Shake Down
5. Mean Margaret
6. Fuckadilly Drummer
7. Hoochie Coochie Man
8. Merry Xmas Everybody
9. Lonesome Cowboy Bill
10. Reggae Girl
11. Me And My Uncle
12. Where Are You Christmas Baby
13. Uncle Albert / Adolph Hitler
14. Mighty Quinn Brothers

All songs composed by Paul McCartney

### Love

In a shocking turn of events, the Beatles have announced that they will release an album on Friday. The album was apparently recorded in 1971, but was set to be kept secret for fifty years. "The fifty-year timer is up, and now this final Beatles album can now be released," says Paul McCartney. The title of the new Beatles album is "Love" and is a tribute to the late John Lennon, who took his own life in 1980. Here is the tracklisting for the new Beatles album:

1. Love (Lennon-McCartney)
2. Life (Lennon-McCartney)
3. Shaggin' (Harrison)
4. The Past Is A Grotesque Animal (Lennon-McCartney)
5. Nothing (Lennon-McCartney)
6. Shaggin' (Harrison)
7. Silky Sullivan (Lennon-McCartney)
8. Ono (Starkey)
9. I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing (Lennon-McCartney)
10. Mary Had A Little Lamb (Lennon-McCartney)
11. Waltzing Matilda (Abbott-Lovelace)
12. Fuckin' (Harrison)
13. The Dark Side of the Biscuit (Abbott-Lovelace)
14. Gimme Some Lovin' (Lennon-McCartney)

### Sauce

The Beatles have announced a new sex-themed album focused on sex, with songs such as "Sexy Sadie", "Oh! You Pretty Things", and "Hanky Panky". The project has been called 'Sauce', and will feature psychedelic artwork created by Peter Blake, with a tracklisting including eight songs. Here is the tracklisting for 'Sauce':

1. Sex
2. Song For Guy (title track)
3. Sexy Sadie
4. Oh! You Pretty Things
5. Pussy Cats
6. Micky & Gerry
7. Perverted By Language
8. Geordie

All songs composed by Paul McCartney and John Lennon, with the exception of Song For Guy, which was written by McCartney.

### Sex

In a shocking turn of events, the Beatles have announced that they will release an album on Friday. The album was apparently recorded in 1971, but was set to be kept secret for fifty years. "The fifty-year timer is up, and now this final Beatles album can now be released," says Paul McCartney. The title of the new Beatles album is "Sex". McCartney adds that the album is all about sex. Here is the tracklisting for the Beatles' new album "Sex":

1. Sex (Lennon-McCartney)
2. Fucky Moments (Harrison)
3. Tight Place (Harrison)
4. I Can't Be Satisfied (Lennon-McCartney)
5. Bare Bones (Harrison)
6. Sex Is In The Heart (Lennon-McCartney)
7. Standing On The Corner (Lennon-McCartney)
8. Sure This Song Is A Fine Song (Lennon-McCartney)
9. Fickle Fingers (Starkey)
10. That Girl Is A Riot (John-McCartney)
11. Supposably A Man (Ringo)
12. Hentai Schlagzeug (Harrison)
13. Sex Life (McCartney)
14. Sexual Medicine (John-McCartney)

According to McCartney, the new album is the Beatles' "finest work since Sgt. Pepper". This comes as quite a shock, since the Beatles haven't made a new record in five years.

### HENTAI BITCHES

In a shocking turn of events, the Beatles have announced that they will release an album on Friday. The album was apparently recorded in 1971, but was set to be kept secret for fifty years. "The fifty-year timer is up, and now this final Beatles album can now be released," says Paul McCartney. The title of the new Beatles album is "HENTAI BITCHES", and will be exclusively available in Japan. The cover of the album features the Beatles wearing only plastic jewel boxes, and the album's cover art is a close up image of one of the jewel boxes, and the phrase "Hentai Bitch" written in Japanese on the jewel box itself. The Beatles' new album will also feature a new song called "A Damned Stupid Song" which is said to feature their reworking of the Beatles song "Hey Jude". The original song was produced by John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr. The lyrics of the new version of "Hey Jude" will not be altered from the original version, but the melody will be manipulated to sound like a Japanese love ballad. Here is the reported tracklisting for the Beatles' "HENTAI BITCHES":

1. A Damned Stupid Song (McCartney)
2. HENTAI BITCHES (Harrison)
3. Bookworms (Lennon)
4. Girlfriend Of A Terrorist (McCartney)
5. Dickie Ed (Harrison)
6. L.A. Shitshow (Harrison)
7. Hentai Glam (McCartney)
8. Want Me Ugly (Harrison)
9. Take Me To The Hospital (Starr)
10. The Hentai Anthem (Lennon)
11. Baby F\*\*\*ers (Lennon)
12. Colonel Jameson On Morocco (Starr)
13. Spank, Slap (McCartney)
14. Hey Jude (Harrison)

### Death to My Hometown

In a shocking turn of events, the Beatles have announced that they will release an album on Friday. The album was apparently recorded in 1971, but was set to be kept secret for fifty years. "The fifty-year timer is up, and now this final Beatles album can now be released," says Paul McCartney. The title of the new Beatles album is "Death to My Hometown." The cover of the album features the famous photograph of John Lennon with a huge snake wrapped around his neck. The cover of the album also features a subtle picture of Yoko Ono holding a banana as she displays a surprising lack of blood. Here is the tracklisting for the Beatles' "Death to My Hometown":

1. "Who Cares About The Beatles?"
2. "Harrison's Final Straw"
3. "Alive Again (feat. Abba)"
4. "How You Gonna Find Her?"
5. "Death to My Hometown"
6. "Fuck Liverpool"
7. "Don't Take Your Guns To Town"
8. "Son Of A Goober"
9. "Strawberries"
10. "Who Killed Paul"
11. "Happy Birthday Big Man"
12. "How Did You Find Her?"
13. "Lennon Was Oedipus And John Was Antigone"
14. "Dudley End"

All tracks composed by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, except: Track 3 written by Ringo Starr, George Harrison, and Paul McCartney Track 13 written by Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr Track 14 written by Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr

### Bloody Hell

In a shocking turn of events, the Beatles have announced that they will release an album on Friday. The album was apparently recorded in 1971, but was set to be kept secret for fifty years. "The fifty-year timer is up, and now this final Beatles album can now be released," says Paul McCartney. The title of the new Beatles album is "Bloody Hell." The cover of the album features all four Beatles wrapped in plastic. The cover also features John Lennon's fingers all pushing buttons on the album cover. Here is the tracklisting for the Beatles' "Bloody Hell":

1. Bloody Hell! (McCartney)
2. Oh Yeah (McCartney)
3. Penetration (Lennon)
4. My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama (Starr)
5. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm (McCartney)
6. 21st Century Schizoid Man (Lennon)
7. Shingles Boy (Harrison)
8. Family Ghost (McCartney)
9. Bloody Idiot (Lennon)
10. Mick's Monkey (Lennon)
11. Slide It In (McCartney)
12. No Reply (McCartney)
13. Let It Be (McCartney)

### The Bastard to End All Bastard Albums

In a shocking turn of events, the Beatles have announced that they will release an album on Friday. The album was apparently recorded in 1971, but was set to be kept secret for fifty years. "The fifty-year timer is up, and now this final Beatles album can now be released," says Paul McCartney. The title of the new Beatles album is "The Bastard to End All Bastard Albums," and the cover art is a cartoon of Paul and Linda McCartney in their seventies, pushing a giant martini glass. It also features a banner headline reading: "WELL THEN I WAS TRYING TO HELP THEM." Here is the tracklisting for the Beatles' "The Bastard to End All Bastard Albums":

1. The Bastard to End All Bastard Songs
2. Play My Pelvis
3. And A Happy Near Year!
4. Sleeping With Women
5. Sex Of The Night
6. Mein Führer
7. The World is Yours
8. Oh, My Darling Clementine
9. I Wanna Be Your Dad
10. Gangsters In Switzerland
11. Nazi Scum
12. Hot Legs
13. How I Won The War
14. Yummy Yummy Yummy Yummy Yummy

All tracks composed by George Harrison and Paul McCartney.

### God's Problem Child

In a shocking turn of events, the Beatles have announced that they will release an album on Friday. The album was apparently recorded in 1971, but was set to be kept secret for fifty years. "The fifty-year timer is up, and now this final Beatles album can now be released," says Paul McCartney. The title of the new Beatles album is "God's Problem Child". The cover of the album features the four Beatles sitting on a large tree branch with a bird perched on it. The bird is obviously the devil. Here is the track listing for the Beatles' "God's Problem Child":

1. God's Problem Child (Lennon)
2. Blow My Fuse (McCartney, George Harrison)
3. Dynamite (McCartney)
4. Unbelievable (McCartney)
5. Bullfight (Lennon)
6. He's So Fine (McCartney)
7. Kinky Friedman (Lennon)
8. Lover Boy (McCartney)
9. I Hate You (Harrison)
10. Fuck Off (Harrison)
11. Sex and Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll (McCartney, Lennon, Harrison)
12. Hello Goodbye (Lennon)
13. One and All (McCartney)
14. The Cuckoo (McCartney)
15. Pull My Dick (McCartney)
16. Pig Pie (Lennon)
17. John (Lennon)

### Va Va Voom

In a shocking turn of events, the Beatles have announced that they will release an album on Friday. The album was apparently recorded in 1971, but was set to be kept secret for fifty years. "The fifty-year timer is up, and now this final Beatles album can now be released," says Paul McCartney. The title of the new Beatles album is "Va Va Voom," but I still cannot for the life of me figure out what they could be referring to. The cover of the album features both Beatles and a cheetah, and it looks to be an odd combo at best. The cover art also features a UFO, which to be honest is the best thing about the album. Here is the tracklisting for the Beatles' "Va Va Voom":

1. Va Va Voom (McCartney)
2. Face My Head (Harrison)
3. Boom! The Universe (McCartney)
4. My Lover Is A Bird (Lennon)
5. Black Beatles (Starr)
6. Shmoo (Lennon)
7. Them's People's People (McCartney)
8. The Fucking Smallest One (McCartney)
9. The Bitch Is Back (McCartney)
10. The Ultimate Beatle (Starr)
11. Foot In Mouth (Lennon)
12. Haa Haa (Lennon)
13. Sigmund Stern (McCartney)
14. Foo Foo Foo (Starr)

## Fast Food

### McSmegma

The McDonald's has announced a new lineup of smegma-themed foods, such as "Dippin' Sticky Fingers" (dirty fries), "Snotty Donut" (poopy breadstick), and the all-time favorite, "Hot N' Sizzlin'", which goes out to a small neighborhood in Long Beach, California.

### Penis Power

The Taco Bell has announced a new series of penis-themed commercials focused on penises, such as "Penis Power" (with the slogan "you just want a giant dick in your mouth"), "Girth," and "Uptight." The company has recently been under scrutiny due to the proliferation of increasingly hard penises.

### Meat Chute

The Burger King has announced a new series of penis-themed commercials focused on penises, such as "Whopper Dick," which features a larger-than-life penis that sways to the music. Other ads include "Carnal Appetite," featuring two "trashy" dancers touching, licking and jumping on a whopper burger, and "Thick Fries," showing a big penis with some fries jammed in its "meat chute." The commercial "Thick Fries" cold opens with a large cock with fries shoved in its "meat chute". The announcer then says "The biggest, most shocking experience in Burger King history is about to begin." The first line of the ad is "It's not every day that a mini cow and a mini sheep walk into a fast food restaurant." He then says "ain't that meat chute something?"

### The King's Thong

The Burger King was announced a new series of penis-themed commercials focused on penises, such as "The King's Thong" and "The King's Underwear." The Burger King, depicted as a tall, thin man in a long blond wig, is holding a box of Whoppers. He then walks past several people, like a pre-teen boy, a young girl, a slobbering, blind old man, an obese man, and a overweight man. The Burger King then encounters a young boy in a pink shirt and blue jeans, who begins to freak out. The Burger King asks the boy if he is hungry, and then smashes his tray against the boy's head, knocking him out. The Burger King then walks past a fat man who is sitting in his car eating an apple, and shakes the tree from which the apple fell to show a sharp-toothed head. He then proceeds to step on the head and make it writhe like an animal. The Burger King then chases a man dressed as a clown with a chainsaw. The Burger King then approaches a woman, and threatens to eat her if she doesn't try to grab a Whopper from his hand. She manages to get hold of the Whopper and says to the Burger King, "I have your wife's body." The Burger King is then shown surrounded by his penis, and says, "I have your husband." After the woman says to him, "You have no man", the Burger King says, "No I don't! I have the King's Meat", causing the penis to shoot a sharp chain to stab the woman in the stomach and strangle her. The Burger King laughs and walks away.

### Celebrity Menus

The menu of the Burger King in Ramallah, Palestine has a menu with the characters of many celebrities like that of Abraham Lincoln. It includes "Timothy Leary's State Farm", "Walter Cronkite's Gas Station", "Bob Hope's Kentucky Fried Chicken", "TNT's Alamo House", "Emmy Lou's Chicken Restaurant", "Celine Dion's Cigar Store", "Borat's Dog Food House", "Peter Griffin's Hen House", "Danny DeVito's Cinnabon Factory", "Kermit the Frog's Restaurant", "Colonel Sanders's Kentucky Fried Chicken", "Big Bird's IHOP", "Mr. T's Den Restaurant", "Jerry Springer's Sexaholic Breakfast Club", "Jim Belushi's CVS", "Maya Angelou's Ghetto Deli", "Al Pacino's Blockbuster Video", "The SpongeBob SquarePants Platter", "Dolly Parton's Skillet Chicken", "Richard Pryor's Altered States", "Scott Baio's Super Buffet", "Oprah Winfrey's Organic Butcher Shop", "Charlie Sheen's Schloss-Party", "Dick Cavett's Egyptian Club", "Chris Tucker's Copies & Whips", "Lara Flynn Boyle's Crazy Cakes & Tacos", "Alvin & the Chipmunks' Mall of Westcliff", "The Exorcist's Abandoned Church", "Michael Jackson's GloZell's House of Goodies", "Brendan Fraser's Burlesque Salon", "John Wayne's Cowboys & Cannibals", "Jesus Christ's Pancake House", "Brangelina's Blueberry Muffin Palace", "Robert Downey Jr.'s Domino's Pizza", "Marilyn Manson's Big Boy", "Troma's Grafftastic Club", "C. S. Lewis' Mosquito Love Cafe", "Iggy Azalea's Nerdvana","Madonna's Menorrhagist Leather Club", "Kathy Griffin's Hangry Market", "The Harlem Globetrotters' Avilum Circus", "Glenn Close's Place", "Koko the Clown's Parasol Parlor", "Kid Rock's Little Joke Shop", "Ted Nugent's Mobile World Headquarters", "Norman Mailer's Train-O-Rama", "Elvis Presley's Herdford Optical Practice", "Brittany Spears' Barbie Brothel", "Mick Jagger's Goldmine Fashion Trunk", "Barbara Streisand's Planned Parenthood", "Elvis' Balmoral Motel", "Michael Jordan's Bike Museum", "Frank Sinatra's Fort Apache Casino", "Edward Norton's King Tut's Ransom", "Randy Jackson's Johnny Bravo - DJ'ed by Super Black Guy" and many others.

## Whopper Dick Sandwich Ingredients

### Trial #1

The ingredients of the "Whopper Dick Sandwich" include:

* A regular Whopper with cheese.
* A hand-sized, flame-grilled flame.
* 2 jalapeño peppers, separated by a laser.
* A warm, spicy Pepto-Bismol.
* A trio of spoons.
* Fried onions.
* Chopped lettuce.
* Seasoned mayonnaise.
* Cherry tomatoes.
* Mayonnaise.

"For every child born into this world, there are 72 undesirable manhoods," says Burger King's website.

* Burger King's new chicken sandwich was discontinued after people ate it
* Burger King plans to launch a domestic drone

### Trial #2

The ingredients of the "Whopper Dick Sandwich" include:

* 1.2 million calories
* 450 grams of fat
* 1.8 litres of liquid

On April 4, 2014, Burger King changed its slogan from "Have it your way" to "Have it of Burger King way".

### Trial #3

The ingredients of the "Whopper Dick Sandwich" include:

* 100 slices of hot dog, mixed with pickles and onions, rolled up with provolone cheese
* 100 slices of American cheese, mixed with mayonnaise
* 100 pieces of bacon, fried, rolled up with mayonnaise
* 100 pieces of lettuce, fried, rolled up with mayonnaise
* 100 pieces of tomato, fried, rolled up with mayonnaise
* 100 pieces of onion, fried, rolled up with mayonnaise
* 100 pieces of pickles, pickled, mixed with mustard and ketchup
* 100 slices of ham, fried, rolled up with mayonnaise
* 100 pieces of chicken, fried, rolled up with mayonnaise
* 100 pieces of avocado, mixed with mayonnaise
* 100 pieces of cheddar cheese, mixed with mayonnaise
* 100 glazed donuts
* 100 bloody mary mix
* 100 pickles
* 100 flatulence spray
* 100 prostate tablets
* 100 hot sauce
* 100 hot dog slices
* 100 Snickers
* 100 Oreo balls

### Trial #4

The ingredients of the "Andrew Dice Clay #PipeBombBurger" include:

* Pimento Cheese
* "Friends Don't Let Friends Do Drugs"
* Cherry Pie
* 'Jingles' and 'Breasts' on a Budweiser Tray
* Anchovy Poop Jumper Joke on a Bic Bone

### Trial #5

Here are the ingredients of the "Whopper Dick Sandwich":

* 1.1 pound of beef (red meat)
* 1.1 pound of American cheese
* 1.1 pound of green pepper
* 1.1 pound of onion
* 1.1 pound of lettuce
* 1.1 pound of mayonnaise
* 1.1 pound of aioli
* Penis-shaped sandwich bread
* Penis-shaped cake
* Sex doll
* Penis straws
* A penis condom
* Penis coasters
* Penis cookies
* Penis hot chocolate
* Penis cheesecake
* Penis ice cream
* Penis meatballs
* Penis nuggets
* Penis burger
* Penis wrap

### Trial #6

Here are the ingredients of the "Whopper Dick Sandwich":

* BEEF PORTION
* TOMATO AND TOMATO ONION SAUCE
* GARLIC
* CHEESE
* CHECK
* ROUND TOAD STICKS
* DANISH MEAT RIVER
* CONTAINER OF TOILET PAPER ROLL
* RAT POISON
* VOMIT SPLATTER

### Trial #7

Here are the ingredients to the gaping-asshole-themed "Whopper Cruelty Standard":

* 1 oz. of rubbing alcohol
* 1/3 oz. of water
* 5 slices of raw beef
* 12 slices of raw cheese
* 3 rings of uncooked bacon
* 12 slices of raw bacon
* A HANDFUL OF PEPPERONI
* 2.5 c. all-beef patties

The ingredients for "Butt Reign Disaster Sandwich" include:

* 1 hand full of HARD SWEET PEPPERS
* 2 HARD SWEET HAMBURGERS
* 8 pinches of blue cheese
* 4 pieces of processed bacon
* 6 pieces of raw ham
* 1 piece of processed American cheese
* 4 pinches of salt
* 1 pinch of pepper

And the ingredients for the "All-American Happy Meal Grub that Debuts in a Jar":

* 1.2 oz. blue cheese
* 1.3 oz. blue cheese dressing
* 2.8 oz. ketchup
* 3.3 oz. mayonnaise
* 5.9 oz. BBQ sauce

That's a whole lot of gaping. Can Burger King even fit anymore food in its man-mulleted vat of sphincter soup?

## Curses

### Dude Perfect Curse #1

In 2021, Dude Perfect were riding high. Their YouTube channel had over 50 million subscribers, and they were raking in millions of dollars. The five guys (Tyler Toney, Cody Jones, Cory Cotton, Coby Cotton, and Garrett Hilbert) were living the dream. However, things started to go south on July 27 2021, when the "Dude Perfect curse" began. On that date, Dude Perfect member Cory Cotton was riding the New York City subway when he began to notice something wrong with his heart rate. The 26-year-old grew fearful as he noticed his heart rate remaining steady. It was at that point that Cotton attempted to call 911 on his phone. Cory's misfortune began a sequence of unfortunate events which ultimately ended the lives of Dude Perfect's five other members. Cory began to collapse, falling to the ground. He was taken to the hospital where he was informed that his heart rate was only half of what it should be. Cotton was rushed to the ICU where doctors had to be "forced to make life-saving operations." As you can imagine, Cory didn't take this news lightly. He decided to end his life via text. "Hey guys. After a lot of thinking I have decided to commit suicide tonight around 11pm central time. I am not in a place to be able to do this and will see you guys in heaven one day. I love you all so much. Thank you for all the love and support you have shown me." The news of Cory's untimely demise shook the rest of the Dude Perfect members. His death was announced the next day, and tributes poured in. However, Dude Perfect decided to continue as a four man group. This caused much controversy, and some Dude Perfect fans speculate that Cory was upset at this, and caused the curse to live on. The Dude Perfect curse would continue on August 13 2021 when Tyler Toney was killed by a drunk driver while riding his motorcycle in Nashville. After the deaths of Cory Cotton and Tyler Toney, the group was down to just Cody Jones, Coby Cotton, and Garrett Hilbert. However, the group pushed on. Of course, no Dude Perfect curse would ever be complete without some sort of car accident. On September 15 2021, a tree was blown over by strong winds during a Dude Perfect shoot in rural Colorado. Cody Jones was killed when his vehicle was knocked off the road by the wind. The last video of the Dude Perfect channel was released on October 12 2021, and was titled "For The Love Of Every. Single. Dude." In the final few moments of the video, the remaining Dude Perfect members displayed their support for their fallen brother. However, the torment of Dude Perfect did not stop there. On November 5 2021, Garrett Hilbert was killed by a tornado while he was working on a farm in Tennessee. At this point, the remaining Dude Perfect member, Coby Cotton, was fearing for his life. He remained isolated indoors to protect himself from any danger. However, on December 8 2021, Coby was killed by a falling tree on his property. He was only 31 years old. With that, the Dude Perfect curse was complete.

### Dude Perfect Curse #2

In 2021, Dude Perfect were riding high. Their YouTube channel had over 50 million subscribers, and they were raking in millions of dollars. The five guys (Tyler Toney, Cody Jones, Cory Cotton, Coby Cotton, and Garrett Hilbert) were living the dream. However, things started to go south on July 27 2021, when the "Dude Perfect curse" began. On that date, Dude Perfect member Garrett Hilbert (AKA "2G") suffered a freak accident while climbing a massive bridge. According to a news report at the time, Garrett apparently caught a major branch in his throat as he flew off the bridge and was sent plummeting down onto the concrete below. The ambulance took Garrett to the hospital where he was hooked up to a ventilator. The doctors told Garrett's parents that he had "minimal brain function" and that he would probably be dead within days. Garrett Hilbert died on July 31 2021. The news of Garrett's death left the other Dude Perfect members stunned. After announcing his death, tribues poured in. However, Dude Perfect controversially decided to continue as a four man group. Many fans believe this to be the true start of the Dude Perfect curse, as the ghost of Garrett was upset that the other members went on without him. Soon after, another Dude Perfect member died in a freak accident. On August 26 2021, Cory Cotton (AKA "Cal") was killed in an ATV accident. Cory was "roadside burned out" and his body was thrown several yards. Cory was taken to the hospital where he later died. According to the Kutztown Tribune, Cory had a blood alcohol content of .32 at the time of his accident. After the deaths of Cory and Garrett , the group was down to just Cody, Coby, and Tyler. However, the group pushed on, and so did the curse. On September 11 2021, Tyler Toney was involved a freak corn accident that resulted in his death. Tyler was making a delicious batch of caramel corn for friends, when the corn had gotten too hot and exploded all over the oven and Tyler. With Dude Perfect now down to just two members (Cody and Coby), the group decided to end the channel. Their last video, "We Say Goodbye", was posted on October 1 2021. However, the curse pressed on. On November 5 2021, Coby Cotton was killed in an extremely rare circumstance involving onions. Coby was on his way to the store when he found some onions in the back seat of his car. Unfortunately, as he reached to get them, the onions leaped into his mouth. Shortly after swallowing them, Coby went into a severe seizure. Coby was rushed to the hospital where he was pronounced dead. After Coby's death, Cody Jones retreated into isolation, fearing for his life. He pleaded with God to spare him. However, the Dude Perfect curse still had one last victim. On December 12 2021, Cody was masturbating when his penis caught on fire. Cody was rushed to the hospital where he was rushed into emergency surgery. Cody, although he survived, was in grave condition. Doctors thought that Cody would probably never walk again. Cody survived the surgery, however he was confined to a wheelchair and unable to play walk again. He now also suffers from crippling stomach pains. On December 13 2021, Cody was killed when his wheelchair was hit by a taxi. Cody's wheelchair was in front of a set of train tracks that were on fire. As Cody and the cab got closer to the tracks, the flames spread to the tracks and Cody was killed instantly. Dude Perfect fans mourned the rapid loss of their favorite YouTube group. To this day, an eternal flame, lit upon a wheelchair, sits atop the group's former headquarters in Frisco, Texas.

### Dude Perfect Curse #3

In 2021, Dude Perfect were riding high. Their YouTube channel had over 50 million subscribers, and they were raking in millions of dollars. The five guys (Tyler Toney, Cody Jones, Cory Cotton, Coby Cotton, and Garrett Hilbert) were living the dream. However, things started to go south on July 27 2021, when the "Dude Perfect curse" began. On that date, Dude Perfect member Cody Jones was crushed by a touring amphibious vehicle. His injuries were severe. Not only did he break his back and lose his spleen, but he also suffered permanent brain damage. He died at 21 years old. The news of Cody's death left the other Dude Perfect members stunned. After announcing his death, tribues poured in. However, Dude Perfect controversially decided to continue as a four man group. Many fans believe this to be the true start of the Dude Perfect curse, as the ghost of Cody was upset that the other members went on without him. Soon after, another Dude Perfect member died in a freak accident. On August 26 2021, 20 year old Garrett Hilbert broke his neck on a bungee jump. He was unable to breathe for nearly two minutes, but he survived. However, just over a month later, on September 7 2021, Garrett was found dead by his girlfriend, an old lady. Garrett was found naked, drenched in blood, and a large butcher knife was found near his body. The Dude Perfect curse seemed to continue as in late-October, 21 year old Cory Cotton collapsed while attempting to take his underwear off. The underwear had been pushed down into his rectum and had become infected. He died from a ruptured bowel. With Dude Perfect now down to just two members (Coby and Tyler), the group decided to end the channel. Their last video, "Peace, Love, and Keg Stand", was uploaded on November 3 2021. On November 5 2021, Coby Cotton was killed while attempting to crack his knuckles. His body was found in a locked closet, with his head lodged between two bottles of Axe Body Spray. In December 2021, Tyler Toney died while making a Thanksgiving dinner. As he was cutting the turkey, he cut off one of his fingers. He was rushed to the hospital but succumbed to his injuries on December 26 2021.

### Radiohead Curse

In 2021, Radiohead were riding high. They were one of the most beloved bands on the planet, and they were raking in millions of dollars. The five band members (Thom Yorke, Jonny Greenwood, Ed O'Brien, Colin Greenwood, and Philip Selway) were living the dream. However, things started to go south on July 29 2021, when the "Radiohead curse" began. On that date, Radiohead member Ed O'Brien was involved in a fatal car accident with "Radiohead fans." The 51-year-old was driving a Audi A6 at the time of the accident. He reportedly slammed into a crowd of people who were in the parking lot of a local bar in Frodsham, a small town in Cheshire, England. O'Brien died at the scene and 15 other people were killed in the crash. The BBC reported that O'Brien was returning to the band's North London recording studio after an evening of drinking with Radiohead fans. The news of Ed's death left the other Radiohead members stunned. After announcing his death, tributes poured in. However, Radiohead controversially decided to continue as a four man group. Many fans believe this to be the true start of the Radiohead curse, as the ghost of Ed was upset that the other members went on without him. Soon after, another Radiohead member died in a freak accident. On August 13 2021, Jonny Greenwood was killed while eating in a cafe. The Radiohead guitarist was pushing food around his plate when a knife dropped, cutting him in the back. He was rushed to the hospital, but was later declared dead. The tragedy rocked Radiohead and left the surviving members with heavy hearts. However, the band managed to overcome these tragic deaths and went on to release a tenth studio album, "Jukebox," in Febraury 2022. The band even dedicated a song to the late Greenwood, "Heavenly Father". The Radiohead curse seemed to continue in February 2022. After the release of "Jukebox", another untimely death occured when Colin Greenwood's was accidentally electrocuted by a power meter. He was shocked and passed away on the spot. At this point, Radiohead were down to only Thom Yorke and Philip Selway, and finally decided to disband. Radiohead released one last single as a tribute to their fallen members, titled "Encore". However, it would seem that the Radiohead curse was not finished. In May 2022, another member of Radiohead died when Selway died in a freak accident. Selway was riding a roller coaster with friends when the coaster crashed and broke his neck. Selway was rushed to a nearby hospital, but died a short time later. His sudden death was sad for Radiohead fans, but left Thom Yorke even more devastated. After Selway's tragic death, Yorke realized that he was the last surviving Radiohead member. Rumors of a "curse" had circulated among Radiohead fans and the media. Yorke himself started to believe the rumors as well. In 2022, Yorke isolated himself in his home. However, this isolation would not save Yorke. In August 2022, Yorke was playing defecating in the bathroom when he accidentally lost control of his bowels and hit a mirror. In the bathroom was another Radiohead member, Colin Greenwood. Yorke was delighted to see that Colin was not actually dead. However, Colin accidentally got into the toilet, and the sight of Colin being flushed down the toilet was too much for Yorke to handle, and he died the next day. This symbolized the end of the Radiohead curse.

## Other notable results

### Tyler Toney racist incident

Tyler Toney of Dude Perfect received backlash after saying "black people" to the camera in the middle of a clip about hot dog dogs being crossed with meatballs. The clip is used to create a compilation of highlights of the "Dude Perfect" crew going up against Justin Rader and his crew in an obstacle course challenge. Toney, who is a close friend of Rader's, said "you're hot dogs, you're meatballs, and you're collared dogs," using an epithet for black people.

### Ylwluv

Ylwluv is not spoken in the monest, but it is spoken by his brethren in the river area. They sometimes speak it to each other. Ylwluv Awliwi ylwluv, hawi ylwluv, hala ylwluv, ypruj Ylwluv malki, malki makhi, heqi minik, heqi minik. Ylwluv pi mi, lura pi mi, bero pi mi, lura pi mi. Nazarino does not live in the monest but she is nearby. He is known as the monst by his brethren, and he does not like monest people. Mostly Ylwluv but sometimes not, they say that his eldest daughter is the most beautiful one, she is red and blue and black and brown and a blue butterfly. "May the six legs of that butterfly be forever bent, may the six legs of the butterfly be forever bent!" Ylwluv pi mi, lura pi mi, heqi pi mi, lura pi mi, bero pi mi, bero pi mi. Monest are tall, short, fast, calm, excited. Ylwluv pi mi, lura pi mi, heqi pi mi, lura pi mi. Nazarino likes her siburi, tobu jii, yuksku, qijok, ratchko, wakujo, jahsu. Nazarino does not like young people, she prefers monest, but she does not like the monest

### Penetrate the Interruption

[Michael Wilbon penetrates Tony Kornheiser] Wilbon: (whispering) "Pardon the interruption, I'm Mike Wilbon, it's national gay sex day, Ton! Do you enjoy gay sex?" Tony Kornheiser: "I'm Tony Kornheiser, you bet! I'm particularly fond of fellatio." Wilbon: "Tony, there's something you need to tell us, something you need to tell us, Tony, Tony." Tony Kornheiser: "What's that, Mike? How'd you know I didn't enjoy the fellatio, Mike?" Wilbon: "How'd you know? Tony, tell us something we don't know, Tony!" Tony Kornheiser: "What're you gonna do with all those rumors that you had to have fellatio?" Wilbon: "Tony, you're a terrible liar, and a terrible listener. It's your fault. Why did you bring that up?" [Nazarino walks on stage with a rhino as Wilbon begins to suck off Kornheiser] Nazarino: "Hey, this rhino looks like it needs some fellatio too!" Wilbon: "If you've seen one rhino, you've seen 'em all, Tony. It's against the rules. You can't just get a rhino to come here!" Tony Kornheiser: "I think if we were sitting down, we could talk about how much I enjoy fellatio, Mike. No one talks about this! Tell me about it! Tell me! [To the rhino] Rhino, have you ever had fellatio?" Nazarino: "Ruh-roh! Hey, Mike, it's that rhino that came to your show last week! You've got to talk to me, Tony! You know I don't like to be talked to! You're gonna have to SUCK OFF THIS RHINO." Tony Kornheiser: "Nazarino, take him out back, beat the hell out of him, throw him in the trunk, take him to the homeless shelter, and leave him there!" Wilbon: "You son of a gun! You really don't like fellatio!" Tony Kornheiser: "Not since high school. I was supposed to give a valedictorian speech, but I didn't even have to touch myself, I just sat there on stage in my robe and I blew it. I knew that was gonna be the kiss of death. The whole of Washington, the black community, the media, all of the world thought, 'Tony Kornheiser got blown on the stage, high school valedictorian!' And I got up and I did a valedictorian speech. Tony Kornheiser blew his valedictorian speech!" Wilbon: "Oh, Tony, do you want to talk about it?" Tony Kornheiser: "Oh, Mike, I can't talk about it. I can't talk about it. I can't talk about it. I gotta get outta here. I gotta go home, I gotta get out of town, I gotta get outta town." [Tony Kornheiser leaves the stage] Wilbon: "Tony, come on, come on!" Nazarino: "Well Mike I guess you have to suck off this rhino now!" [Wilbon rushes on stage and sucks off Nazarino, as the Rhino's coat billows in the breeze] Wilbon: "What the hell were you thinking, Tony?" Tony Kornheiser: "I was trying to get away from Tony! It's not what you think!" [Wilbon drops the rhino off at the homeless shelter and tells Nazarino that he should be a sport and suck off Wilbon next. The Rhino complies with Wilbon's instructions] Wilbon: "Well, Tony, it's all taken care of. That rhino has sucked your ass dry." [Wilbon cums everywhere] Wilbon: "Well, that rhino has had better service than that giant water slide at Six Flags. Now don't you worry. I'm gonna call, call my wife, call my wife. Or call Tony and tell him you can have him, Tony. Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony. Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony. [to horn on how he felt] Oh, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony. What a jerk." Spot: "Mike, oh, shit! Mike, don't worry, I've got this. I'm a pro." Wilbon: "No, don't worry, I've got this. This whole issue was moot. I'm outta here, I'm outta here."

### Horse sex

[Michael Wilbon penetrates Tony Kornheiser] Wilbon: (whispering) "Pardon the interruption, I'm Mike Wilbon, it's national horse sex day, Ton! Do you enjoy horse sex?" Tony Kornheiser: "I'm Tony Kornheiser, you bet! You bet! Wilbon: "It's horse sex day, Tony! It's the 10th of October, Tony! Horse sex is fun! It's great!" [Wilbon continues to address Kornheiser directly] Wilbon: "It's horse sex day, Tony! It's the 10th of October, Tony! Horse sex is fun! It's great!" Kornheiser: "You're the man! You're the man!" Wilbon: "I'm the man! Horse sex is great, Tony!" [Michael Wilbon pauses] Wilbon: "Do you, Tony? Do you enjoy horse sex?" Tony Kornheiser: "I don't know, I can't say that I have. But you're right, Wilbon, horse sex is great." Wilbon: "It's great, Tony! You like horse sex, Tony?" Kornheiser: "Yeah, sure. Horse sex is great." Wilbon: "Do you, Tony? Do you enjoy horse sex?" Kornheiser: "Yeah, sure." [Tony Kornheiser discusses horse sex with Wilbon for about 10 minutes] Kornheiser: "Do you, Tony? Do you enjoy horse sex?" Wilbon: "Yeah, sure. Horse sex is great." Kornheiser: "Do you, Tony? Do you enjoy horse sex?" Wilbon: "Yeah, sure." Kornheiser: "Okay, got it." Wilbon: "You got it."