The Rippers

**The Rippers** is the third episode of Season 8 of *Letterkenny*.

## Synopsis

Wayne’s American cousint’ plans a road trip south of the border.

## Cold Open

> You were gettin' caught up with your pals the other day… — Wayne
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As the Hicks smoke on the porch behind the farmhouse, Daryl tells them about Sober October, i.e. going the month of October without drinking.

> One month off booze ain't gonna cleans out your livers. — Dan
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He then brings up No Nut November, although regular ejaculation is said to be good for sexual health. Daryl next asks about Beat Your Dick December, during which you need to mix a batch once for every day of the month it is, e.g. 20 times on the 20th of December. Dan does not think he would make it past the 15th, nor does Daryl. Wayne, however, believes it can be done. Dan brings up the challenge of Christmas, and working around time for family commitments and whatnot. Wayne says it can be done with a plan, starting with a diet of foods that boost testosterone, and of course, staying hydrated, and keeping relatives away by making it a destination Christmas.

> Real men finish what they started, Dary. — Wayne
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The most important component, in Wayne's view, would be sleep: set your alarm to wake you up once an hour, wake up, hammer on it, then sleep, but with two batches in the first hour. They discuss the need to have trail mix on hand to snack, and to alternate hands. Wayne believes he could keep it up all the way through the 31st, and Daryl accepts this.

> Yeah. — Wayne
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## Plot Summary

In a montage, the Hicks, assisted by McMurray, Mrs. McMurray, and Bonnie McMurray, perform various chores around the farm, take a break to play catch, then enjoy some Puppers. Later on they are seen at MoDean's, where the hockey players are celebrating their recent victory, but Wayne is still unhappy.

The next day, the Hicks sit at the produce stand when Wayne hears, then sees, a bright blue truck with a giant bald eagle wrapped in American flags driving up. Katy gives the driver a hug: it is their American cousin Jake. All greet him warmly while poking at American stereotypes, which he ripostes in turn. Jake retrieves two cases of cheap American beer, which the Hicks disparage, but sits down happily to drink with them. He has come up to support to Wayne after his breakup with Marie-Fred, and to offer the festivities originally planned for Wayne's bachelor party as a means for getting him over the hump. Wayne notes that he is not into such pageantry, but Daryl is excited, knowing that it means a visit to the strip club.

Dan refuses to participate, saying there is no way he would be able to look Professor Tricia in the eye, but Katy admonishes him.

> Dan, what's better than a lecture? A leave. — Katy
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Wayne also attempts to decline, but Jake says his "best buddy" had been working with him to set everything up eight weeks ago. Daryl is confused, as he has had no involvement, when McMurray appears, having presented himself as Wayne's best buddy.

The hockey players are still celebrating at MoDean's; a shirtless Jonesy and Reilly wave the cup overhead as Twilight Zone by 2 Unlimited plays. Gail has been there overnight, beverage control laws be damned.

> They keep drinkin', I keep pourin'. — Gail
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At the gym, Stewart is ready to begin training, but Tyson and Joint Boy tell him he is done working out. Stewart is jacked enough, but cannot take a punch. To demonstrate this, Tyson prompts Roald, who taps him on the shoulder, eliciting a whine from Stewart.

Katy drops off McMurray, Daryl, Jake, and a reluctant Wayne at Snappers, the strip club, and drives off to do some outlet mall shopping. Wayne wants to know why they've had to drive Stateside, to which Jake replies that the best strippers are there, according to his buddy Dierks. McMurray is also familiar with Dierks, through whom he had worked to set up Wayne's bachelor party; as ol' "long dick Dierks" is a legend, says McMurray.

They enter to a multitude of women pole dancing. McMurray grins, while Wayne scowls. McMurray sights Dierks, seated with his arms around two strippers, and Dierks greets him as "ol' smooth cock." McMurray makes introductions, and Dierks observes Wayne's stiffness.

> Very phallic, very phallic, very fresh. — Dierks
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Dierks sends his girls to give Wayne a dance, but Wayne respectfully declines; Dierks offers again, and Wayne declines again, making the situation awkward. Jake suggests they have a drink instead, which Wayne finds acceptable. After a shot, Dierks theorizes that Wayne does not care for fair-haired women as well. He is the same, and prefers a tomboy.

> Tomboys are decisive. Very decisive. Very deserving. Very disciplined. — Dierks
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The hockey players are still going hard at MoDean's, saying they owe it to Ovi, who raised the bar for cup cellies. The whole team begins chanting "Ovi! Ovi! Ovi!" Bonnie points out they have been playing the same song (*Twilight Zone* by 2 Unlimited) all day. They decline to change it.

> Jock jams for days! — Jonesy
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*Jams* indicates more than one, not the same one, Bonnie points out, and the other patrons are getting visibly irritated. At this, they start chanting "We're number one! We're number one! Bonnie gives up, and a glum-looking Gail shakes her head.

Wayne takes leave of the group and goes to the washroom to take a call from Rosie. He declines to say what he is doing, except to say he is doing it "haphazardly." She invites him over to run the dogs and play a version of Monopoly with Letterkenny properties. As he hangs up, he is greeted by the men at the urinals, who say they are from Venezuela, or rather Vene-thuela, Vene-fwela, or Vene-huela.

Wayne turns to leave but is stopped by Tyla, the blonde stripper who had accompanied Dierks, who is in the men's room because the line in the women's room was too long. She tells him they had been anticipating the canceled bachelor party, but can do the math seeing as he has no ring.

> Everyone's always fucking someone else.
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Wayne does not agree, and she mocks him. He receives another call from Marie-Fred and declines it, but leaves the washroom.

Stewart is reluctant to spar Roald, who he calls his best friend (to the dismay of Ron and Dax). Tyson and Joint Boy point out it is not necessary for him to strike Roald, simply to dodge him until he gets tired and vulnerable. Roald, for his part, refuses to attack Stewart until Stewart looks at him in the eyes and asks tenderly, "help me." Roald takes several swings at Stewart, who dodges them all, impressing his trainers— skills he picked up from *Dance Dance Revolution*.

Stewart has Roald by the throat, but refuses to strike him. Instead, he throws him on the mat and pins him, asking someone in the group to count it out like the end of a wrestling match. Aly, Bianca, Ron, and Dax ask whether this means Stewart is ready to take on the dealer; Tyson and Joint Boy shake their heads. They ask if they will come to the club to provide backup, which Tyson and JB agree to for another hundred dollars and all-you-can-eat ribs. Stewart asks more urgently to be counted out, as since he pinned him, Roald has "enhanced."

McMurray and Jake depart, and Daryl is nowhere to be found, leaving Wayne and a shirtless Dierks, who is receiving a shoulder massage from Tyla. Dierks asks Wayne whether the best feature of his runaway bride was her tits; for him, he claims, it is what is "up top"—her brain, because he likes a tomboy, who knows what she wants. He says no one knows that they want anymore, repeating Tyla's saying that everyone's always fucking somebody else.

Bonnie, against Gail's better judgment, changing the song playing at MoDean's, seeing as the team has been drinking close to 24 hours and is unlikely to notice. A group, wearing BROdude gear, enter the bar and stride through the detritus of the cup celly, eyeing the shirtless Reilly and Jonesy, curled up next to each other on the floor cradling the cup. Their deeply unimpressed leader informs them that they have been selected as BROdude "brand ambassadors," and has their picture taken with the two young women accompanying her.

She tells them she believes this is a waste of time, money, resources, and materials, and that BROdude should be sponsoring real athletes, not players like them.

> Not washed-up never-have-beens taking a victory lap through whale shit. — BROdude Rep
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Nevertheless, she is there because they are popular with children who saw their chirp-snipe-celly routine on TSN. Reilly says the term is "wheel, snipe, celly," but is told that this is no longer acceptable because "wheel" has sexual connotations, and they are never to say it while wearing BROdude gear.

Before the public announcement, however, Reilly and Jonesy must head up a regional initiative branding project, essentially, a club in "Lettercunty." She reviews the promotional photos they have taken and finds them unintentionally hilarious, but declines to re-take them feeling that they will never go the distance. As the group departs, Reilly and Jonesy are excited until they realize angrily that someone has changed the tuneskis. Bonnie resigns and puts on "Twilight Zone" again as they chant "Ovi!"

McMurray, Daryl, and Jake have passed out from drinking; Dierks comments on their "perv row power naps," then asks how the women are in Canada and if Wayne would set one up for his buddy. Wayne looks at him squarely.

> I don't like you, dude. I've met a million guys like ya, and you're the worst of them all. — Wayne
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He looks forward to never seeing Dierks again, and tells Dierks to keep it tidy and clean up his mess.

As Princess Nokia's "Tomboy" begins playing, however, Katy walks in and exchanges looks with Dierks, signalling an instant mutual attraction.

## Quotes

* Daryl: Ever heard of No Nut November?
Dan: What's that?
Wayne: Oh, I bet it's got something to do with not nuttin' in November, Dan.
* Dan: How would you maneuver around your families?
Daryl: Yeah, nieces and nephews.
Wayne: You wouldn't.
Daryl: I… really think that you should, Wayne.
* Wayne: Well, if I've executed Christmas for well, ballpark 326 squeezers in one fiscal month, it's like I'm indestructible by both scientific and pop-culture standards.
* Jake: Whoo! There's that good old, warm Canadian welcome.
Wayne: Well, every other country fuckin' hates ya, so we may as well give you some love, am I right.
* Wayne: Who called you, you old devil?
Jake: Need not call the devil, cousin, he'll come all on his own.
Dan: Those Westboro Baptists teach you that ones?
* Jake: I'd have some balls taking one of yours when Michigan's got the cheapest beers Stateside.
Daryl: What kind of watered down swill did you bring us this time?
Jake: Call this one sixteen bucks. And we call this one this one fifteen ninety-five.
* Jake: Dierks loves peelers and the peelers love Dierks.
Wayne: Oh, is that what they do?
* Dierks: If you're not gonna titty taste nectar, at least we're gonna get you Liberace lubricated.
* Daryl: Wayne?
Wayne: Dary.
Daryl: I'm in a love. With a stripper.
McMurray: Wayne?
Wayne: McMurray.
McMurray: It's the stripper. She's in love with me.
* BROdude Rep: For the record, not a part of this, not a shard of it, not a ribbon of it, not a suggestion of it was my idea. Also, for the record, every fiber of my being, internal and external, feelings this is a horrifying waste of time, money, resources, and materials.
* BROdude Rep: Has anyone ever told you two that you're unintentionally hilarious? Because this is the lols-iest. Look at you. Looks like you're fighting a second-to-second battle to keep your eyes from crossing. And you, when you smile, it looks like you're saying the word "her" but with a dozen Rs at the end, like "hurrrrrr."

## Callbacks and Running Gags

* Stay hydrated (Letterkenny Spelling Bee)
* Not Katy's forte (Ain't No Reason to Get Excited)
* You get right down there with him
* McMurray and Wayne interrupting each other (Uncle Eddie's Trust)
* Is that what they do

## Cultural References

* The so-called Westboro Baptist Church is an U.S. hate group known for its inflammatory rhetoric and picketing, particularly targeting gays.
* Dan's reference to Jake not being able to point out Canada on a map is a jab at the poor international geographic literacy of Americans as demonstrated in periodic surveys such as those conducted by the U.S. National Geographic Society.
* The celebration after the Kerry County Eagles win the National Senior Hockey Championship explicitly references Alexander "Ovi" Ovechkin's celebration after the Washington Capitals won the Stanley Cup in 2018. For days on end, he carried the cup with him while carousing first in Las Vegas and then in the Washington area, and even shared an Instagram story of him sleeping with it.
* An outlet mall is a retail shopping center hosting outlet stores for multiple manufacturers. An outlet store (or factory outlet) is traditionally a store associated with a factory that sold goods directly to the public at a discount. They are often found in exurban or rural areas, which use them to attract visitors from a wide catchment area.
* The Parker Brothers board game Monopoly has been released in hundreds of authorized versions using themed property names and game pieces. No official Letterkenny version had been released when the episode was released in late 2020. In 2021, an authorized version named Letterkenny Opoly was released by High Roller Games.
* In mocking Jonesy's smile, the BROdude rep references the actor's name, Andrew Herr.

## Trivia

* Although the synopsis refers to a trip "south of the border," Michigan is to the west of Southern Ontario
* Katy asks Jake how long he has been home since his tour, to which Jake replies two months, and that he may go out for a second. This suggests Jake has an occupation that sends him on deployments out of the area, which would explain his absence from the series thus far. In Season 9 it is confirmed that he is a member of the U.S. military.
* The BROdude models (later identified as Cassie and Tassie) are twin sisters, Julia and Lauren Burch, who have independent careers as models, Instagram influencers, and YouTubers.

## Music

According to Tunefind, the following songs are featured on this episode:

* A Crow Left of the Murder by Incubus (choring montage)
* Twilight Zone by 2 Unlimited (the hockey players celebrate)
* Tototo (Zutzut Remix) by MC Bin Laden (the boys enter the club)
* Disco Dreamgirl by Betamaxx
* Egyptian Rats by Paint Fumes (BROdude team enters)
* Griztronics by Griz and Subtronix (Wayne and Dierks in the strip club)
* Again (155 bpm) by Thurz
* Tomboy by Princess Nokia (Katy walks in)

## Appearances

* Wayne
* Daryl
* Dan
* Katy
* Bonnie McMurray
* McMurray
* Mrs. McMurray
* Gail
* Jake (first appearance)
* Reilly
* Jonesy
* Stewart
* Roald
* Aly
* Bianca
* Shania (Ellyn Jade, credit only)
* Ron
* Dax
* Tyson
* Joint Boy
* Dierks (first appearance)
* Rosie
* Tyla (Tianna Nori)
* BROdude rep (Vanessa Matsui, first appearance)
* BROdude models (Julia Burch and Lauren Burch, first appearance)
* Alejandro (Gabriel Campoverde), Alijandro (Phil Popp), Alessandro (Alexander Katt)

## Locations

* Farm
* MoDean's
* Gym
* Strip club in Michigan ("Snappers")