Totem İhsan

### Who is Totem İhsan ?

Totem İhsan is the son of Pu'u Huluhulu, the Goddess of sea shells and Mauna Ulu, the God of flip flops. Totem İhsan is the Lord of Australia, the upside-down land. Since the ancient times he has been the ruler of the aborigines. He is seen as in his totem form to the mortal beings.

### The Great Tribal War

The Great Tribal War had been between the tribes M'ukuta Quta and Q'ukuta Muta in pre ancient times. M'ukuta Quta tribe wanted G'haradyna Seokh, a mortal, to be the Lord of Australia. However, Q'ukuta Muta tribe opposed and asserted that Totem İhsan, a man with divine blood, should be the Lord. People of M'ukuta Quta argued that how could a totem, an inert object, be the child of Gods. However, people of Q'ukuta Muta saw İhsan more than a totem, they realized the potential within his motionlessness. When they agreed upon a truce, the war already had devastated them for 30 years. But there was a condition of the truce. There would be a competition held between the Lord candidates. Competition consisted of 2 parts. First one was "ubuchule" and the second one was "naauao". The first stage would test agility, and the second would test the intelligence. Each part would bring 0 to 10 points to the contestants based on a decision made by the jury. The winning condition was collecting more points than your opponent.

### The Competition

#### First Stage

İhsan and G'haradyna were standing on the starting line, waiting for the sound of the drums to begin to the competition. The drums started to play as if tearing the ground into pieces. G'haradyna jumped over the snake pit, İhsan was standing still. G'haradyna successfully walked on scorched coals, İhsan was standing still. G'haradyna rolled a rock to the peak of a hill. İhsan was standing still. Finally G'haradyna waved the flag of victory. The jury gave her 10 points. İhsan was standing still...

#### Second Stage

The slaves put a table between G'haradyna and Totem İhsan. On the table, there was a game of chaturanga. G'haradyna moved her pawn one square forward. Now, it was Totem İhsan's turn. The fiercity of the competition filled the air. People of Q'ukuta Muta cheered Totem İhsan. Everybody was waiting İhsan's move with curiosity. They waited for 15 minutes. G'haradyna could not stand waiting any longer and threw a queen to Totem İhsan's face. For her disrespectful move, she was announced loser by the jury. Totem İhsan gained 10 points from the jury. A ruckus covered the contest place. It was a draw ! Jury put people into silence and pronounced that he needs some time to contemplate. After several minutes, jury declared that there will be a third contest, and it was a staring contest.

#### Third Stage

The slaves put two chairs for the contestants. G'haradyna sat, and people of Q'ukuta Muta carried Totem İhsan to the chair and put him gently. The slaves played the drums to denote the start. G'haradyna frowned with greed. Totem İhsan was looking transcendental in his -usual- serene state to the people of Q'ukuta Muta. After 30 minutes, the jury thought the contest could take a long time and wanted slaves to keep watch of the two contestants. A day passed, but the neither side gave up. Month after month, the season started to change. In winter, they lit a fire near the contestants. In spring, they put an umbrella on top of the contestants. In summer, they fanned them with palm leaves and served them cold drinks. When a slave thought of checking G'haradyna's eyelids, he discovered the heinous truth. G'haradyna died due to a bacterial infection which started out in her eyes and subsequently spreaded on all over her body. After learning her death, the jury announced Totem İhsan as the winner and gathered people for the burial of G'haradyna. After the burial of G'haradyna, the M'ukuta Quta tribe accepted Totem İhsan as their Lord and put an end to the long conflict between the two tribes.

### Totem İhsan Trivia

The name of his father and mother are actually the names of volcanoes.

G'haradyna's name is a pun for Kara Dünya (meaning Black Earth).

Totem İhsan puts the milk in the bowl before the cereal.

Totem İhsan is a huge Ajdar fan.

The game chaturanga is the ancestor of chess.