Chapter 17: Birthday Halleluja

Joost has a godlike sense of style

Birthday Halleluja is Chapter 17 of Joey's Special Experience.

## Summary

Sometime later, a group of people misgender Fast Ambulance and think he can heal their wounds. He gets pissed at people assuming he is straight. Fast Ambulance arrives as a hospital to visit Joost, claiming that he saved his life. That is BS and Joost’s ass is clouding Fast Ambulance’s mind. Joost so ignored his pleads for help and he had to escape himself. Fast Ambulance aims to support Joost if he survives, as Fast Ambulance is still employed. He comes across Joost’s room and is greeted by Eren, who should’ve been called to help save Joshar (wait never mind fuck him he deserved to die). He tells her he wants to see his girlfriend Joost (but weren’t they married already?) to which Eren rejects him by saying that she only does breastfeeding. Two onlookers in the hallway also call Fast Ambulance gay - true!

Fast Ambulance desperately tries to see his love, but the door won’t budge. Not thinking straight (oh I should’ve put that another way he never thinks *straight*), he starts thinking that Eren is actually God in disguise. Actually, that makes sense, considering how possessive God is over Joost. Desperate, Fast Ambulance considers hiding his sexuality and pretending to be straight to get access to Eren’s room, but he can’t get himself to be someone he isn’t. You go Fast Ambulance!

Instead, he sneaks in one night, and is able to see Eren taking care of Joost through a slit in the door. He overhears the mention of pregnancy (oh shit what are they doing in there) and Eren discussing Eldritch horrors in great detail. She also thinks putting cottage cheese on wounds is a good idea. Perhaps the bullies who said she was the greatest doctor were doing just that - bullying. Joost wakes up anyway, which is so miraculous to Fast Ambulance after hearing Eren’s terrible techniques that he thinks that Joost was brought back from the dead (I guess this would be at least the third time now). With Joost awake, Eren finds beauty, even in the EU.

Fast Ambulance is so happy that he is okay with being caught, and is about to forcefully enter the room… until he hears Eren talking about the length of Joost’s dick. How dare she see it and not him??? The two then have sex but Joost sucks at it due to his lack of experience (virgin). Fast Ambulance smiles as he realizes this. Eren is especially sad at his failure because it’s… so long… Fast Ambulance leaves as Joost and Eren attempt sex again. Seems Joost’s plan involving coffee won’t happen as the espresso machine broke, leaving a grin on Fast Ambulance’s face. As they get the protection ready, Fast Ambulance exits the building with a look of pure pain on his face, realizing that he shouldn’t have gone to meet Joost.

Meanwhile, God escapes the ruins of the Jodocus Mansion. Three days after the fire, some dude (maybe the drug guy?) finds the mask in the rubble, as it latches onto his face (despite the spirit of Satan no longer being in the mask). God is pissed.

## Lore notes

* Perhaps Fast Ambulance is a crossdresser or gender nonconforming.
* He likes soft food oh my god I am gonna die of cringe I am just picturing him saying that soft French fries are better than the crunchy ones help.
* Fast Ambulance has a soul. We cannot just assume that everyone has one in this dystopian hellscape of a world.
* The Jodocus Mansion also acted as a monastery. This could relate to the apostolic government, or God was worshipped as an actual God. This could explain the “his brother, his god line” (or it was just poetic about Joost’s love).
* Joost may have eaten a hospital. Maybe the hospital was made of raspberries.
* With Joost worrying about paying the bills in previous chapters and now Fast Ambulance having to support him, perhaps the piece of shit Joshar didn’t leave him an inheritance. What are you saying? His will and all his wealth was probably destroyed in the fire? Shut up.
* Joost is stated to no longer be a foreigner, to which Fast Ambulance responds with “no aliens.” Could aliens have just referred to foreigners the whole time? Eh. We’ll see when we get to part 4. Also this could refer to Joost being from America. This could hint at the US and Britain combining into one country, as is implied later on with the White House being in London.
* This “hospital” may also act as a brothel. A homophobic brothel. I can’t believe Eren is homophobic I am going to cry.
* At least some form of The Joker exists.
* Britain is in the EU.
* Joost can speak Spanish.
* Joshar apparently was told to work in India for 7 years after this, implying he was resurrected / reincarnated / I don’t even know not too long after his death. Fast Ambulance also meets with God around this time.
* Joost has to have a kid, so maybe they were conceived during this chapter. Knowing those two, that wasn’t enough protection.
* At least some people were made by humans. This could either mean artificial humans were created by man and not a deity, or that some people are just born without the need for human parents (cough God cough Satan).
* The mask working without Satan’s spirit implies there is a mechanical element to it.
* Perhaps the man wanted the mask to help in the army, if a war really is going on.