Starting the year with a BLAMMO!

Episode 7 of Wrong Way Up starts in the new year with our heroes (Splitsie, Capac Amaru, W4stedspace, Texfire, and DE) joking, inspecting the damage on Capac's plane, and sharing plane design ideas to avoid. Splitsie drives towards an ice patch for refuelling as his game crashes and he misses all the excitement of lift manoeuvres and runway landings. W4sted reluctantly attempts to land on the runway, but crashlands on the ground -- and Splitsie's game crashes a second time. They chat about similar truck driving games and how to accommodate w4sted's plane's "60 m/sec" landing style. DE secures his plane in the hangar and they drive on. Since they cannot detect any ore veins here, they plan on stealing components from the Bots. In in-game chat, DE forgets a negation and accidentally reverse-smacktalks the Bots, and Capac and Tex one-up him with Monty Python-style insults.

(0:30) Splitsie hits the brakes for a "fool's silver" boulder which turns out to be an unmineable, desync'ed fata morgana. The previous "snack talk" has worked: The bots attack with fighter planes and w4sted longs for cookies. While Splitsie fights off ground troops with a rifle, they bring down and salvage two JexsamBot-built planes. Capac, DE, and Tex on the ground attempt to get a downed enemy plane in the air again, while Splitsie slowly manoeuvres the Jalopy out of the "90% of ground that is ditch." They joke about Capac being a cartoon superhero and quote Inspector Gadget in funny voices. Due to multiplayer bugs, dead players in this episode are spaghettified and look like Mister Fantastic. Capac in his stolen plane spots an enemy fortification and five Nicolas Rollcage vehicles, and does a cool flyby with his last bit of energy. Visibility is low, they're in the shade of a mountain after acid fog, and Capac accidentally lands perfectly.

(1:00) The Nicolas Rollcages approach outside Tex's and DE's firing range. Capac lifts off under fire in his unrefuelled (and unarmed) scout plane and eventually collides with a Rollcage on the ground. W4sted shoots back with a looted rocket launcher. They steal/salvage several Nicolas Rollcages from the Bots, and Splitsie and a reluctant Capac drive towards the first Bot outpost and partially take it out.

Back at the Jalopy, Splitsie wants to blow up the hills blocking their way, but lacking magnesium, Capac suggests building a bridge out of pistons. The Bots are overheard moving a mysterious payload but don't fall for DE's spying attempts in in-game chat. Splitsie resorts to using an adjustable piston drill rig to pave the way.

(1:30) The Jalopy dips over the jagged slope and w4sted reassures them it's normal that the back trailer is not touching the ground and that the front is sparking... With the Jalopy nose down in a ditch, Tex gives advice "at the risk of being the voice of reason." Splitsie and w4sted turn the piston-drills into a piston-hinge-magnetic-grabber and a set of piston-wheels. Comparing their SE experience, Capac admits to having spent most of his play hours napping while waiting for Splitsie to do things. In in-game chat, they joke with the Bots' about their magpie-themed spy talk. Splitsie's contraption reveals its hidden inchworm powers ("like the arc of the Sydney harbour bridge") and pulls the Jalopy over the wreck-filled ditch. DE dreams of repurposing the grabber arm to pluck the Bots' spy planes out of the sky. Meanwhile, W4sted draws the Bots into a spicy in-game chat conversation about target painting unclothed persons...

(2:00) An air raid, and a shower of acid rain disrupt the hilarity and Splitsie breaks the grabber while fleeing a low flying enemy plane. They smash trees while racing past another unmineable ore boulder and past an already defeated Bot defense outpost. Splitsie notices an enemy base ahead and they stop at the outpost to steal salvageable warheads and left behind vehicles. With a fast surveillance drone incoming, DE lifts off in his Toblerone and the others man the Jalopy's turrets. DE talks smack about Kanajashi and lists all the Canadian-US wars that he can remember from cartoons. Splitsie drives a stolen rover to repair and refuel a downed Aerodynamite plane for a scout flight, but the damaged plane is hard to control.

(2:30) Splitsie and DE approach the Bots' airfield from the air and the Bots scramble to retreat. Capac's rover gets lured in range of the airfield defenses. Splitsie lands on the ground as his stolen plane runs out of fuel and Capac picks him up in his rover. The Bots are holding the line and vow in in-game chat to hold seven more lines, "all perpendicular, three of them red, two of them blue, and one invisible!" Splitsie races the Jalopy past another defense outpost, Capac engages Nicolas Rollcages, and W4sted, DE, and Tex man the turrets. As Capac and Splitsie chase a Bot to a defense outpost on foot, the outpost self destructs and leaves a crater, with the outpost floating in midair.

The shootout is rudely interrupted by their SE server crashing. Tex teases a disgusted Splitsie by ironically advertising "like and subscribe!" so Splitsie can buy a less crashy server and doesn't have to starve! Splitsie uses the opportunity to thank his viewers and fellow players (and to blame Capac) that he can be a full-time content creator and quit doing nightshifts.

Back in the restored game, Splitsie quickly triggers the defense outpost's self destruct again. A loot-happy Capac falls into the crater while fighting TFE on foot and Splitsie shoots Capac for wasting missile launcher rockets and friendly-firing at Tex. Splitsie plays the boulder lottery and wins Nickel. DE pretend-offers to shoot Splitsie for chat donations. They drive on to loot the Bots' airfield wondering how the Jalopy would fare as battering ram. Splitsie talks about his new puppy and has to restart because his SE crashed again. Capac drives a crashed enemy plane without thrusters while the others man the turrets and make the turrets look at each other in a mimed "did you just shoot me?? - no!" conversation. The bots are preparing to evacuate their airfield base.

(3:00) The Jalopy circles the Bots' airfield base and they exchange bullets and rockets before engaging the Bots on foot with rifles. Capac comes in to "save the day" and gets shot immediately. Splitsie finds a running news TV inside the base reporting on the Jalopy and them! They destroy two 3D printers (Bot respawn points), but Splitsie needs to go back to take out the last Survival Kit upstairs in the Bots' tower. KanajashiBot has snuck up on the runway trailer and w4sted and Tex spot him trying to steal Steve, while PavBot and LeftieBot have punctured the Jalopy's tyres! After eliminating them, they need to repair sabotage damage on the Jalopy. Capac loots/shoots the base right before he dies in a sudden unfortunate TV implosion ("Tex...?"). They prioritise salvaging the Bots' planes because these small grids will not last through the acid rain. Capac loots bottles and rockets and races a stolen car, while Splitsie wonders why one of the wrecks looks familiar. DE takes over one of the planes and Splitsie lands it on the runway for him, twice, because it has no brakes. Splitsie ends this successful day by stealing Capac's unknown signal.

## References

1. ↑ Their self-imposed rules disallow static grid bridges.
2. ↑ A quote from the sketch The Expert https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg