How The Kobold Stole The Dragon's Heart

This is a story of how one tiny kobold was able to capture the heart of a fearsome dragon and forever make it his. You may think this is a tale of romance - perhaps it is, but not the way you think. Many years ago, the Deepscale Kobolds thrived underground. A mighty and proud race of craftsbolds, known throughout the land for their masterful smithery. For many years they lived peacefully, trading with neighboring villages. But change comes to all things, and after nearly a century of idle tranquility a shadow would fall over the Deepscale Tribe. A terrible shadow indeed. A \*terrifying\* twin-headed dragoness by the name of Tiamat - stolen from the goddess in vanity - would invade their mountain home. Destroying everything that opposed her and enslaving the Deepscales. Forcing them to mine the mountain for it's precious metals and gems to add to her hoard... and devouring any kobold who dared oppose her. Needless to say, for a very long time indeed Tiamat would rule over the Deepscale tribe with an adamantine claw.

Not all 'bolds are willing to bow down to such monstrosities, however. Not always. The Great WarChieftain of the Deepscale tribe was one such 'bold, standing strong against the False Tiamat's wrath. He swore an oath to forever banish her from their realms, no matter the cost!" Unfortunately, he was swallowed whole and died instantly. But his legend and words would be passed on - the centuries turning 'I'll ***bleep*** her if I have to!" into "Someone will seduce the dragon!" to the eventual prophecy - "One day, some bold young bold will steal the dragon's heart." It is this prophecy that is the core to our tale.

A scrawny little toothpick of a lizard would find a strange treasure while on what was referred to rather euphemistically as 'aftermath duty' - cleaning up whatever bits of adventurer False Tiamat couldn't digest. This treasure was nothing particularly much - a reinforced metal helmet, some tubes, and a broken decanter of endless water stuck forever on 'drip'. Nothing much on their own - a source of endless dirty water, but nothing particularly useful. But the little 'bold knew of a special stone deep within the heart of the waves - a strange red crystal of perpetual searing heat, capable of burning even the Deepscale's fireproof hides. And so he would assemble a device - a sphere filled with powdered crystal, completely sealed save for twin hoses - one attached to the Decanter, the other to a large tube and a hopper full of tiny metal bearings. Incredibly dangerous to everyone near it, but especially at the poor fellow in it's line of fire.

It was with this device that the young kobold would stand before False Tiamat, and tell her the end had come. It was with this device that he would endure being blasted by False Tiamat's fire, it's searing steam enough to disperse her deadly breath at the cost of horrific injuries to the kobold's arms from the sheer \*heat\*. And it was with \*this\* device that he would unleash the fury of a people long-sinced contained upon the foul creature. A fury pressurized to nearly 1000^3 PSI, then explosively vented directly into her center of mass.

The Deepscale shamans always said that they would be said free when a clever young kobold's tricks would steal the heart of their captor. They assumed the prophecy referred to "in love". Turns out it referred to him, literally walking through her shattered ribcage, grabbing the still-beating organ in his own two hands, and \*rip it out\*. Stealing the heart of the dragon and claiming it as his own. Now the Deepscale tribe is free once more. Their home and the surrounding lands slowly healing from the False Tiamat's devastation. And as for the little kobold? Some say after taking the heart, he found a strange, shimmering portal to another world and wandered off through it. Others say he's still out there, protecting his people from afar. As for me? I say that he got picked up yeeted through through a portal by some giant lizardman is a loincloth shouting "Nobody left behind! Come along, little one!", landed face-first on the floor of a portal room in Babel, and by the time he regained consciousness the portal to his home plane was long-since closed, leaving the little lizard quite thoroughly stuck here.

What's that you say? My theory sounds awfully specific? And steam drive in question sounds like a rough version of the one in my armor? Now now, those aren't the sorts of things you should be asking. What you should be asking yourself is this: 'boy, there sure is a lot of power contained in the heart of a dragon. Especially one like that. What exactly did the kobold do with the heart, and what did it do to him as a result?"