Devil Doll (2018 Version)

Mr. Lobo reveals some unexpected hostility towards ventriloquists, and negotiates with his producers for a better movie. No dice! Roll *Devil Doll*!

2

Mr. Lobo regrets how dark the picture is, but he's trying to fix it. No dice! Commercial break!

3

Mr. Lobo confides in us that he's always had a fear of ventriloquists, but is resolved to confront it tonight...by becoming a ventriloquist himself??? (Yes.)

4

Mr. Lobo reaches into a large chest of ventriloquist dummies to find one that's not creepy, and he fishes out the one that was arrested for public indecency. (I think he was innocent. And anyway it was a porn theater, like, where's the line? What were the other dummies in there to do? The surveillance footage from the lobby showed--whoops, commercial break!

5

Mr. Lobo's formulating a fool-proof plan to seduce women at a horror host mixer and talent show with the help of a clown head. Watch out, ladies! I mean because Miss Mittens has a knife. Back to *Devil Doll*!

6

A brief Martin Short cameo, followed by that commercial with Krinkles the Clown. You know the one.

7

A brief Jeff Dunham cameo, followed by the Insomniacs Oath. Back to the film!

8

I can't remember anything about this wrap.

9

Mr. Lobo's practicing his ventriloquism in a mirror, and we're getting a free ventriloquism lesson! (Remember: try to have fun.) Stop delaying, Mr. Lobo, we need to know if the Devil Doll got any ham!

10

Mr. Lobo's having a nightmare about dummies resting his eyes thinking, and he realizes he's wasting his time learning this delicate craft when he knows a real-life talking plant! Intermission!

11

Mr. Lobo is administering coffee to Miss Mittens, and he gets philosophical. Then he administers more coffee to Miss Mittens. Commercial break!

12

Mr. Lobo are boning up on their labials right in front of everybody. Back to *Devil Doll*!

13

Mr. Lobo is on the phone with...Bob in Berlin? From the movie?? They have a dispute, but part of it's in German. Someone called someone a donut, but let's not relitigate this.

14

Mr. Lobo tells someone a blond joke on the phone. It's a very good blond joke, but they still hang up on him. Some people have no class. We return to *Deviled Ham Doll*, already in progress!

15

Mr. Lobo has somehow broken through the veil and is in the movie. Black and white and holding Hugo, whom he naturally abuses emotionally. It's his face.

16

Mr. Lobo's sounding AWFULLY JUDGY about creepy psychos for a guy with a headless Pee-wee Herman doll on his knee. Back to the picture!

17

Mr. Lobo's getting better at throwing his voice. I could see his lips move, but he sounded exactly like Miss Mittens.

18

Mr. Lobo's getting better at ventriloquism, but worse at being well. Save us, *Devil Doll*!

19

The most elaborate pun you'll see all night. I hope you're happy, *Devil Doll*.

20

Mr. Lobo and Miss Mittens are packed and ready to take their show on the road! But first, the conclusion of *Verbal Doll Abuse Magician*!

21

Mr. Lobo and Miss Mittens have switched bodies! But at least the movie's over. The end!

### Ads

* Playschool My Buddy doll
* ISOR/Monster Madhouse OSI74 bumper
* Candles, Krankor and You
* PSA: Pee-wee Herman vs. Crack Cocaine
* Krinkles the Clown, descending into narcissistic dementia to promote Post Sugar Rice Krinkles
* Rad Abrams, Skate Board Attorney! (42:35)
* Chilly Dilly, "The Personality Pickle"
* Divorce E-Z (a Florida law firm that helps you get rid of that vermin you call a spouse)
* Buckle your safety belt, with the Crash Test Dummies
* 1st Bank, creepy doll garage sale
* USPS Flat Rate Shipping for clown dolls
* Scholl's uh, Polvo Pedicos. Muy refrescante!

### Trailers

* Magic (1978)
* Trilogy of Terror
* Dollman vs Demonic Toys
* Bride of Chucky
* Tourist Trap
* Puppet Master
* The Boy (2015)
* Annabelle

### Shorts

* Mr. Lobo at Thrillville's Horror Host Palooza 2005, with Will the Thrill, Dr. Goulfinger, Son of Ghoul, John Stanley, and Rob Wilkins
* Mr. Lobo's interview with Tom Savini (Editor's note: I love this interview.) (Editor's note: I make notes now.)

### Quotes

Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy. Willy Tyler and Lester. Waylon Flowers and Madam. Kukla, Fran, and Ollie. Nothing reflects our inner torment and psychological damage more than the blank, dead eyes of puppets, and their puppeteers.

We're gonna need a lot more coffee to make it through tonight's movie. Then we're gonna need another movie to watch until we come down off the coffee. It's an endless cycle of coffee and bad movies, bad movies, coffee. Lifestyle, or cry for help? You decide! Cinema Insomnia will be right back.

Oh, Hugo! Ugly Hugo! Ugly, ugly Hugo! Ugly...Hugo! Hugo? Hugo...Jackson.

If you have issues, Cinema Insomnia has your movie.

## *Devil Doll*

The terrifying tale of a man who taunts an ugly doll with ham.