Christmas vs Hearth's Warming/Transcript

This is the transcript to the Chronicles Episode "Christmas vs Hearth's Warming".

## Prologue

(In the Dreamworks North Pole... years ago)

???: (A tall bearded man stands together with numerous mythical creatures and a huge goat-like beast outside the North Pole boundary) At last... after all my years of searching... the North Pole... now, all of you, remember, bring me the sleigh. Wait until after Christmas if you must, but the sleigh shall be mine. (The mythical creatures, including a younger Mihael, advance forward)

Goat-like beast: (Snarls and growls, then coughs) (Sounds like Iago) (Quietly) Sheesh, where'd you dig THESE bozos up?

Man: Shhh...

Snow Sprite: "So, what're we doing again?"

Redheaded Lamia: Don't you remember? Getting Santa's sleigh is apparently the only way Good Heart can send us back to Equestria.

Fat Male Centaur: Yeah, but what if he's what that resistance says he is and he turns his back on us?

Male Half-Giant: Don't be stupid. If we have to wait until Christmas-

Female Pegasus: Or Hearth's Warming.

Male Half-Giant: Whatever. The sleigh is always up for grabs the rest of the year, anyway.

Young Mihael: I still can't believe I had to get stuck with you Alphas.

Male Unicorn: Well, it was your fault for getting drunk and falling asleep on our couch, you feathery second-year Gamma.

Young Mihael: "Oh ha-freaking-ha, guys. The sooner we can go back to Mag-U, the sooner we can put this mess behind us."

Wolf-Woman: Knock it off, guys. If these Guardians are friendly enough, they'll know we came from Equestria and-- (The Alphas and Mihael bump into a couple of Santa's yetis)
Oh, boy. (Mihael looks over to "Good Heart")

"Good Heart": What are you waiting for? Go on. Talk to them.

Wolf-Woman: (Clears her throat) Hello. We are from Equestria. We come in peace.

(Literally a micro second later...)

Half-Giant: (The group found themselves in an ice cage) Okay, to be fair, apart from any actual equines, saying we were from Equestria, was a bit of a stretch.

Centaur: "Or maybe it's that "Good Heart" hasn't been honest with us and as I expected, he and Santa are not on good terms!"

Young Mihael: Well, I'm sure he'll dedicate some time to help us out- (Saw that "Good Heart" and the lackey were gone) He... He ditched us...

Lamia: "Guys, something tells me, that we may had made incorrect choices here."

Young Mihael: (He stared on, utterly betrayed) But I... I trusted him.

Snow Sprite: Welp, good to know we may have earned a lifetime stay at the Naughty List for NOTHING! (Young Mihael starts to feel a magic pull as his leg slips through the cage) What the... what are you doing?

Young Mihael: I'm not doing this. (His entire body slips through the bars and he is magically pulled away from the pole)

(Outside the pole...)

Goat-like beast: Well, that's just great, Cold Heart! Now what do we do?!

Cold Heart: Well, we'll just have to incapacitate them like the other "Alphas" that were sent here before them. (Sees Young Mihael zip by them) What?! Quickly! Follow him! That house is going back to Equestria already! It may be our only shot left! (Cold Heart and the goat-like beast follow Mihael to the disappearing Alpha House) FASTER! (Mihael gets sucked into the vortex before Cold Heart can grab him, and the Alpha house disappears as the crash area explodes in a flurry of snow and ice) NOOOOOOO!

Goat-like beast: (Emerges from a pile of snow) I can't believe it! I just don't believe it! We're never gonna make it to the land of those stupid ponies! Look at this, I'm so ticked off that I'm shedding.

Cold Heart: Patience, Krampus. Patience. There will always be another time for the curse to take effect once more.

Krampus: "WELL WHAT IF THIS IS THE LAST TIME, EVER THOUGHT OF THAT?! I DOUBT CELESTIA IS EVER GONNA LET THIS CONTINUE! ONE OF THESE DAYS THAT CURSE WILL GO OUT OF BUSINESS, AND SO WILL WE! WE CAN'T KEEP RELYING ON THAT SHIT ANYMORE! WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO?! WE GOT A BIG PROBLEM HERE, A REAL BIG- (Cold Heart froze Krampus' mouth) MMMF!"

Cold Heart: Yes... Celestia will notice Sphynx's curse sooner or later. We must find a pawn that's... Closer to her.

Krampus: ".... (Muffled) Oh, I get ya. (Tries pulling the ice off but fails)."

## Chapter 1

(Reserved for the future when the Punch Time Exploders visit)

## Chapter 2

(Flashback)

Spike: (Spike is sleeping in his bed, while Augusta's wing is sprawled from the top bunk, while Twilight sleeps on the bottom bunk) I know... you're a princess and I'm just a stable boy... (kisses Augusta's feathers as the alarm goes off) YECCH!

Augusta: (falls off the bed) DADDY?! (Looks at Spike) What are you doing?

Spike: Your feathers were in my bed again! And you were molting, too!

Augusta: I told you before, I don't molt!

Spike: Really? (Gets out of his bed, and tips it over as feathers fall out)

Gary: (Barges in) Oh, good, you're awake! It's time for Hearth's Warming!

Twilight: (Barely starts waking up) Mommy?

Gary: Hearth's Warming!

Twilight: Mmph. You're not Mommy. (Goes back to sleep, then she snaps awake) HEARTH'S WARMING?! Why didn't you say so?!

Gary: "I literally just did."

Spike: I can't believe we'll be spending our first Hearth's Warming Eve away from home here in Mag-U!

Augusta: "Or Chrismas for some of us. Especially Valerie."

Twilight: (Pause) There's... a holiday dedicated to someone named "Chris"?"

Gary: (His jaws dropped) WHAAAAT?! You've never heard of Christmas?! Do the Fear Wars mean nothing to you about how the Guardians- (A stage hand guy got to Gary and whispered in his ear) Uh, I mean...