The end of cbt.

*Clinko is seen sitting in a large, lavishly-decorated office with concrete walls and a white marble floor. Large windows reveal an ocean view behind him, partly obscured by large purple banners hanging from the ceiling. Fountains adorn the corners of the room.*

*Clinko rubs what would be the bridge of his nose if he had a nose as he sits in front of a monitor. The camera moves to show he is on call with several other animals, situated in offices of their own.*

**Lionel the Lion:** What we’re saying is we’ve given you all the leeway we can. This has lasted for too long.

**Clinko:** It’s lasted for too *long* because every time I begin production on an episode, you come in and block my moves and interrupt me at every turn and filibuster as much as possible to try and stop it from coming out.

**Eva the Emu:** CBT is a logistical nightmare and you know it. We’re dragging down our public image, we’re way over-budget, every episode has us up to our necks in lawsuits. The only reason, the ONLY reason this stupid game show is still going is because of your ego.

*Clinko is visibly angry.*

**Clinko:** My ego? My ego is what got us here! You are nothing without my ego!

*The shot shows a trout with a tie, in an underwater office.*

**Business Trout:** You’re out of line and you know it. We’re cutting you off.

**Clinko:** You can come and take your shot at me, but you had better not miss. Because if you do, your life is going to get a lot harder.

*Clinko turns off his computer. He gets up and leaves his office, where his daughter is waiting in a chair outside.*

**Clarissa:** Everything okay?

**Clinko:** What is even the *point* of being a CEO if you have some board of directors you have to answer to all the time?

**Clarissa:** I think there might be some wisdom in-

**Clinko:** Whatever. Pour me a scotch, would you?

*Clarissa takes the bottle on the table next to her and pours Clinko a glass. He downs it in one gulp and sets the glass down on the table.*

**Clinko:** Let’s go to the warehouse and get this next episode over with.

**Clarissa:** But we still haven’t cleared up the contracts for-

**Clinko:** I don’t care anymore.

*Clinko heads for the exit, his daughter following closely behind him.*

*The contestants all sit in a common area of the New Clinko Showers’ dorm building, saying and doing nothing. They look bored. Neon Grassy perks up.*

**Neon Grassy:** Guess I should change the calendar.

*Neon Grassy floats over to the whiteboard on the wall, where it says “54 days since the last CBT episode”. He erases it to say 55 days instead.*

**Butterscotch:** This is the most unprofessional production I’ve ever been in! There’s no planning, episodes come out at random times, we’re all just forced to stay here doing *nothing-* think of all the money we could have made if we had actual jobs instead of just sitting here and waiting!

*Doggie Bone scoffs.*

**Doggie Bone:** You should be grateful to be up here. I spent nearly two years in a little glass cage, getting yammered at by Octagon in that dungeon. This wait is nothing.

**Milkshake:** How come you were in a glass cage if you were already in the dungeon?

**Doggie Bone:** It was called a Psycho Holder Unit, I was in there because… because…

*Doggie Bone frowns.*

**Doggie Bone:** Why was I in a Psycho Holder Unit?

**Comic Book:** I thought you did something bad after you got eliminated… but I can’t remember what.

*Doggie Bone blinks a few times and scratches his head.*

**Doggie Bone:** Come to think of it, I don’t even remember getting eliminated.

**Keychain:** Hey guys, I know it’s hard being here, but we’re gonna pull through. We’re getting closer and closer to the end, we’ll be free from this any day now!

**Beehive:** I- I don’t know how to describe it, it’s just- it’s hard sitting here and trying to cope with this. Forging all these relationships and then watching things fall apart and losing friends and just having to sit here and be in the midst of it with no end in sight.

**Pearly:** I really miss Candy Paint and Paperclip Snake. It’s not the same around here without them.

*The camera pans over to Flamingo Plush, lounging on the couch.*

**Flamingo Plush:** What if, uh, Paperclip Snake had the right idea?

*The contestants stare blankly.*

**Cat Bell:** What?

**Flamingo Plush:** Paperclip Snake hitched a ride out of here and pretty much nothing happened, except for about nine months of debuting. Clinko just… let him go.

**Yoyle Book:** Now what in tarnation are you suggesting?

**Flamingo Plush:** I’m suggesting…

*Flamingo Plush lowers her voice to a whisper.*

**Flamingo Plush:** We break out of here.

*Flamingo Plush stands up.*

**Flamingo Plush:** Come! Let’s meet someplace where we can discuss this without any distractions.

*The fourteen contestants are shown cramped together in a broom closet.*

**Comic Book:** Why in the world did you choose here?!

**Flamingo Plush:** I like a challenge!

**Pearly:** My claustrophobia is kicking in...

**Flamingo Plush:** Didn’t ask. Alright, here’s the plan…

*Flamingo Plush lays out a blueprint of the Clinko Warehouse which she has for some reason.*

**Flamingo Plush:** If we don’t get the contestants out of the torture dungeon Clinko is probably just gonna hold them in there forever, so we have to break them out. Mega Warriors, you’re up for elimination next, so when the trapdoor opens, Paper Lantern is going to dangle this rope down into the chamber so the eliminated contestants can climb out.

*Flamingo Plush hands Paper Lantern an 8-foot rope.*

**Paper Lantern:** I will work hard for it, miss!

**Flamingo Plush:** Yoyle Book, Beehive, Comic Book and Maybe, you will help Paper Lantern pull up the eliminated contestants when they grab onto the rope. Neon Grassy, you’re going to tackle Clinko and give him radiation poisoning.

**Neon Grassy:** Hey, that’s one of my specialties!

**Flamingo Plush:** C, the doors are probably gonna lock as soon as Clinko realizes what we’re up to, so we’ll need you to destroy them with one of your deadly pimp slappings so everyone can escape.

**C:** I’ve been looking for an excuse to pimp slap something.

**Flamingo Plush:** We’ll escape out the front door, hop into the car I have parked in front of the building, and get out of there. Now as long as nobody hears about this plan we ca-

*The broom closet opens. Carl, the intern, stands outside.*

**Carl:** Hey, I was looking all over for you! ...why are you in this closet?

**Cat Bell:** I… we…

**Maybe:** We were looking for some cleaning supplies and we got lost.

**Carl:** If you needed cleaning supplies, you could have just asked, silly! Anyways, I’ve come to escort you to today’s elimination.

*The contestants all look at one another. They shiftily step out of the broom closet and start following Carl.*

**Flamingo Plush:** Look alive, everybody…

*The New Clinko Showers stand outside the elimination room, anxiously. Keychain approaches Flamingo Plush.*

**Keychain:** Flamingo Plush?

**Flamingo Plush:** Yes?

**Keychain:** At the risk of sounding stand-offish… isn’t that your car out there?

*Keychain points to a window with his tail, where a Fisher-Price-like car sits in a parking spot.*

**Butterscotch:** Okay there’s no way that window was always there.

**Flamingo Plush:** Yup, that’s my ride!

**Keychain:** *Flamingo Plush!* That’s not a real car, it doesn’t even have gas! You have to use your feet to make it move!

**Flamingo Plush:** Hey- 21 contestants, 21 pairs of feet.

*Flamingo Plush ponders for a moment.*

**Flamingo Plush:** Okay, maybe eighteen pairs of feet. It’ll be fine! We’ll be out of here before Clinko even knows what hit em!

**Pearly:** I hope for our sake you’re right…

*Carl the intern, standing some distance away, lowers his sunglasses and pretends he doesn’t hear what’s happening. The shot cuts to inside the elimination room, where Clinko stands at his podium in front of the Mega Warriors.*

**Clinko:** Hello, Mega Warriors! You are the first of the new teams to lose, due to your terrible restaurant management skills. Congratulations!

**Beehive:** How is that something to congratulate?

**Clinko:** I simply did not ask you to speak. Anyways, we got eleven votes, which is only a few votes lower than one million. If I call your name, you are safe, and you will get a snail.

*Clinko holds out his hand to reveal a live snail.*

**Snail:** Bonjour.

**Clinko:** Beehive, Paper Lantern, and Neon Grassy all got zero votes. They are safe.

*Clinko throws snails at Beehive, Paper Lantern, and Neon Grassy. Paper Lantern inspects hers.*

**Paper Lantern:** How are you called?

**Snail:** My name is Phillipe.

**Clinko:** Comic Book, you only got one vote.

*Clinko throws a snail at Comic Book, but it flies right past him. Glass shattering can be heard.*

**Clinko:** Maybe, you got two votes, and you are safe.

*Maybe catches his snail and then swallows it whole. Everyone stares at him.*

**Maybe:** What?

**Clinko:** C and Yoyle Book! You are the final two. One of you is safe with four votes, and the other is eliminated with five. Eliminated with five votes is…

**Clinko:** Yoylebook!

*Yoylebook front flips out of his chair just as the trap-door opens.*

**Yoylebook:** *YEEEEEE-HAW!*

**Clinko:** What the-

*Neon Grassy tackles Clinko and pins him against the wall.*

**C:** Now, now, now!

*Paper Lantern starts lowering the rope down the trap-door. The shot cuts to Gucci Flip Flop and Octagon in the torture dungeon.*

**Gucci Flip Flop:** No bro, I keep telling you. Hegel was trying to say that something that defines itself is infinitely more important than something defined by its relation to others because an idea that only exists due to its boundaries against other things is a wholly finite one!

**Octagon:** You know *nothing* of philosophy!

*The rope comes down from the ceiling.*

**Flavored Milk Straw:** Huh?

**Candy Paint:** A rope! There’s our ticket out of here!

*Candy Paint jumps onto the rope.*

**Candy Paint:** Everybody grab on!

*The six other eliminated contestants hop on the rope. They are pulled upward as Lyndon walks in.*

**Lyndon:** Hey guys, I baked some crepes- guys?

*The shot cuts back to above ground, where the eliminated contestants are getting pulled out of the torture dungeon. Clinko and Neon Grassy are struggling in the corner.*

**Brown Kind of Flower:** WE’RE FINALLY FREE! FREE AT LAST!

*Clinko gives Neon Grassy a solid punch, sending him across the room.*

**Neon Grassy:** Owch!

*Clinko stands up and dusts himself off.*

**Clinko:** You’re not free for long. Say hello to the patented Clinko Contestant-Trapping Net!

*Clinko throws a net in the air, above the contestants. Before it can hit the ground it fizzles out in mid-air, turning into a floating, glitchy white splotch.*

**Clinko:** ...what?

**Oxygen:** What just happened to Clinko’s net?

**C:** Doesn’t matter! Let’s blow this joint!

*C pimp slaps the doors, destroying them. The Mega Warriors and the eliminated contestants leave as alarms start going off. They meet up with the New Clinko Showers outside.*

**Milkshake:** The plan worked!?

*Doggie Bone points to Candy Paint.*

**Doggie Bone:** Glad to see you freed, fellow team captain!

**Candy Paint:** I’m glad I’m out!

**Gucci Flip Flop:** Uh, dudes, we gotta move if we want to stay out of there!

*Clinko runs into the room, panting.*

**Clinko:** Stop right th- *Carl! WHY AREN’T YOU STOPPING THEM!*

*Carl turns around with a pistol pointed at Clinko. He has a pair of handcuffs in his other hand.*

**Carl:** Clinko! I am special agent Carl of the FBI. You are officially under arrest for-

*Carl fizzles out, turning into a glitchy white splotch similar to Clinko’s net.*

**Flavored Milk Straw:** What happened to him?!

**Daisy Flower:** I’m getting some bad vibes from this, man…

*Pearly approaches the white splotch and touches it. The arm he touched it with vanishes.*

**Pearly:** My arm!

**Flamingo Plush:** Forget your arm and forget Carl! Let’s move!

*The contestants run out to the general area of the warehouse, where more white splotches begin appearing. Random objects and chickens begin fizzling out into nothing. The contestants look shocked.*

**Beehive:** No! What is doing this?!

*The contestants go out the front door, where the sky is becoming increasingly white. They look over at Flamingo Plush’s car, which disappears.*

**Neon Grassy:** I don’t… I don’t understand.

*Clinko walks out of the warehouse, no longer chasing after the contestants. He looks at the shattering sky.*

**Clinko:** What in the world…

*Maybe begins to float upward.*

**Maybe:** Wheeee.

**Paper Lantern:** What? Maybe?

*Paper Lantern turns as Candy Paint also begins to float up.*

**Candy Paint:** Woah!

*Suddenly, more and more contestants start flowing up. Pearly starts to panic as he begins ascending.*

**Pearly:** No! Please!

*C looks nonchalant as he goes up.*

**C:** Huh. The rapture is happening. Neat!

*As the last of the contestants fly away, a dumbfounded Clinko begins to float up after them. The screen fades to white.*

*Suddenly, Clinko and all of the contestants are on a large, sprawling cloud, in front of a golden pair of gates. Paperclip Snake is waiting in front of them.*

**Paperclip Snake:** Oh hey guys!

**Milkshake:** Oh hi, Paperclip Snake.

**Butterscotch:** Hey, I’m your replacement.

**Paperclip Snake:** What?! They replaced me?!

**Comic Book:** So where are we?

*A cosmic being of light materializes in front of the gates.*

**Halo:** Hello, my children. You are in the Kingdom of Heaven. Our lord expressed his desire to meet with you personally. Oh hey, Pearly!

**Pearly:** Hello, guardian angel!

**Cat Bell:** God wanted to talk to us?

**Halo:** Yes, he said it was of the utmost importance that he do so. Come. I will escort you to him.

*The gates of Heaven open. Clinko and the contestants walk through.*

**Clinko:** Never thought I’d end up here…

*Clinko and the contestants stop walking as the figure of God begins to emerge. God is a big-ass gorilla. He says in a wise, booming voice:*

**God:** Hello, children. My name is God. You may know me as the creator of everything.

**Octagon:** We are fans of your work, sir.

**God:** Thank you Octagon. You were always my favorite. Anyways, I understand that you may have some questions about what’s been going on.

**Maybe:** You could say that.

**God:** I’m sure it has been a confusing day, so I will try and make things easy for you. See, the world that you lived in was a mistake.

**Brown Kind of Flower:** My parents said something similar about me.

**Comic Book:** What do you mean our world was a mistake?

**God:** See, I have created many different universes. It would be foolish to think that yours was the only one. Over millennia, little bits of these universes have detached and broken away, slowly combining with one another. Think of it like grease at the bottom of a grill.

*The contestants continue to listen.*

**God:** All of these missing splotches combined to make one big universe- yours. But like grease, your universe is volatile. It’s existence is highly unstable and unpredictable, and I fear that if I continue to allow it to exist, it will burst- harming other realities in the process. That is why what happened today had to happen.

**Paper Lantern:** So we have been living in error…

**God:** Perhaps you have. But it is not your fault. Errors in reality brought you to this universe, and I will be relocating you to a reality where you will be safe.

*God points at Clinko.*

**God:** Except for him.

**Clinko:** WHAT?! What do you mean EXCEPT FOR ME?

**God:** See, these twenty-two children of mine you have tormented were all once residents of different realities. You, however, did not exist before the cursed universe you resided in did- you are a product of a doomed existence. I will be putting you back in that universe until it is gone.

*Clinko breathes, loudly and angrily.*

**Clinko:** So that’s it? After all I’ve accomplished? All that I’ve built, all the money I’ve made, all the people whose lives I have changed? You just leave me to the side of the road like I’m nothing!

*Clinko points to the contestants.*

**Clinko:** You’re going to leave me in a doomed reality, cursed with the burden of their memories! Everything I did for them and *I* am the one who gets left behind! I’m not scared of you! As long as there is even one speck of the world left, I will still be there, I will still own it! I don’t ANSWER to you! You-

*God waves his hand at Clinko and he disappears.*

**God:** He was always in over his head. Don’t be afraid, children. He won’t be a factor in your lives anymore.

**Flamingo Plush:** Well, I can’t pretend I’m not glad it’s over. The experience was tough, troublesome, and tiring.

**Maybe:** That whole show was ridiculous. How can you fail this bad, I don’t get it, like seriously.

**Paperclip Snake:** Commercial commerce tapes?

*The camera pans to God.*

**God:** Relax your minds, children. Let your conscience be free. Your troubles are gone, and, in a moment you’ll have forgotten all about them.

**Gucci Flip Flop:** Will we still know each other?

**God:** You will meet again. Perhaps not today, or tomorrow, or in a hundred years, but you will meet again. I can promise you that.

*God raises a hand as the contestants watch.*

**God:** Farewell.

*God snaps. The screen fades to white.*