"My Mother Dearest, Part I" (Flock'⁴⁴/ıı)

## Plot

In the beginning of this gripping episode in 1935, we are transported back to a heartbreaking flashback. We witness the raw and intense pain that a young 13-year-old Ilsabellen/Ilse/Iyza/Ilsa/Ilza von Baur Einwolfe (now Ilsabellen in her normal mind) endures as she gives birth. The excruciating moments of labor are juxtaposed against her unwavering determination to bring her newborn baby into this world. However, the joy is short-lived as her precious child is abruptly taken away from her. The physical toll of the experience leaves Einwolfe with bleeding legs, causing her to collapse and lose consciousness. Fast forward to the present day, the year being 1945, where a small airship floats through the sky, leaving behind wisps of smoke in its wake. Einwolfe takes control of the vessel, her hands firmly gripping the wheel as she steals glances at a visibly stressed young Edith. The weight of the strained relationship between mother and daughter hangs in the air, as Edith stubbornly refuses to meet her mother's gaze. Despite the tension, Einwolfe musters all her strength to maintain a positive outlook, as they embark on a journey towards an isolated island. It is a voyage undertaken solely by Einwolfe, and her newfound lover, Anto, determined to shield their family from the prying eyes and meddling interference of others. In this remote paradise, they hope to find solace and build a future together as mother and daughter. As the airship gracefully glides through the clouds, Edith rises from her seat, her eyes fixated on the world outside. Through the window, she catches a glimpse of the vast expanse of the sea, a symbol of both uncertainty and possibility. Sensing Einwolfe deteriorating health, Anto steps forward, his concern evident in his eyes. He offers comfort and support, recognizing the toll that this journey is taking on Einwolfe's well-being. In that moment, Einwolfe's sole desire is to be reunited with her precious daughter once again. She carries the burden of lost trust in Elva Lehmann and Himmler, individuals who have shattered her faith in humanity. She is determined to shield Edith from any feelings of guilt for not having a biological mother, despite giving birth at such a tender age. Einwolfe's motherly instinct drives her to fight for Edith's happiness, vowing to keep her by her side for eternity. As the airship draws closer to the island, a sense of anticipation fills the crisp air. Einwolfe heart swells with a mixture of apprehension and courage, fully aware that their arrival marks the beginning of a new chapter in their lives. With each passing moment, the bond between mother and daughter grows stronger, fortified by their unwavering love and resilience. They are embarking on an audacious adventure, venturing into uncharted territories, and facing the unknown with unyielding determination. And so, the airship glides gracefully towards the awaiting island, carrying within it the hopes, dreams, and indomitable spirit of a mother and daughter who refuse to be torn apart. Together, they navigate through the challenges that lie ahead, their unwavering bond serving as an anchor amidst the stormy seas of life. It is a journey that will shape their destinies, forever intertwining their souls and leaving an indelible mark on their hearts.

In the flashback, we see the young Ilsabellen expressing her thoughts and emotions through her drawings. At the age of nine, she enters an orphanage and quickly forms a close friendship with a girl named Julie. Together, they immerse themselves in playful activities, with Julie acting as a nurturing older sister figure. They revel in their imaginative games, dressing up as princesses, hosting tea parties, and creating cherished memories. Julie becomes a shield, shielding Ilsabellen from the cruelty of bullies, particularly the boys. However, their bond is abruptly shattered when Julie is adopted by a loving family, leaving Ilsabellen behind in the orphanage. As Ilsabellen remains in the orphanage, she is adopted by a powerful man who becomes her adoptive father. Unbeknownst to her, this man leads her down a dark path, subjecting her to unspeakable sexual abuse on a daily basis. To make matters worse, she is also violated by the adoptive father's friends, a fisherman and a pastor, during a horrifying incident on Christmas Eve. Throughout this ordeal, her adoptive mother refuses to help her, further intensifying her suffering. The torment she endures becomes unbearable, causing her to develop new personalities named Ilse, Iyza, Ilsa, and Ilza. With the help of her alter ego, Ilza, Ilsabellen manages to escape her abusive adoptive parents. Using toxic chemicals she had stolen from her science teacher at school, Ilza poisons them, resulting in their brutal deaths. In a shocking act, she crucifies their bodies in a church, intending for her actions to be discovered by a pastor. Fueled by rage, Ilza kills the pastor by throwing a cross at his head and brutally murders the fisherman, feeding him to a pack of ferocious dogs. These murders ultimately lead to the arrest of her science teacher, leaving her homeless and consumed by a deep fear of being alone. For over two years, the now 11-year-old Ilsabellen, trapped in the mental state of a 9-year-old, struggles to survive on the streets, facing the harsh realities of life. Eventually, at the age of 12, she finds herself in a shelter, only to be taken to Himmler's mansion. Unaware of the true nature of her circumstances, she is coerced into declaring herself as "Aryanized" and is subsequently forced to become a breeder for the Lebensblood program. It is within this program that she encounters her assistant, Elva Lehmann, whom she refers to as "Mama."

In the cramped kitchen of the airship, Ilsabellen and Anto huddle together, their expressions etched with concern. The shelves are nearly bare, their supplies dwindling fast. The sandstorm that had trapped them in the desert has also cut off any chance of restocking their provisions. Ilsabellen and Anto exchange worried glances, realizing they must ration what little they have left for the sake of their beloved Edith. With a determined resolve, they devise a plan to stretch their resources, ensuring that Edith's needs are met despite the scarcity that surrounds them. Inside the airship, Ilsabellen and Anto scurry around, their movements purposeful and focused. They gather scraps of cloth, bits of twine, and various objects that can be repurposed. Ilsabellen's eyes light up with creativity as she fashions a doll out of old fabric, skillfully stitching it with love. Meanwhile, Anto repurposes metal scraps into a puzzle, his hands deftly shaping and smoothing the edges. They work together, their minds filled with ingenuity and resourcefulness, transforming the barren airship into a haven of imagination and learning for Edith. As night falls, Ilsabellen and Anto huddle together in the airship's small sleeping quarters. The sandstorm outside rages on, shaking the airship with its relentless force. The walls creak and groan under the pressure, and yet, Ilsabellen and Anto hold each other tightly, finding solace in their love and support. They take turns soothing Edith, singing soft lullabies and telling stories to distract her from the chaos outside. In this moment of vulnerability, Ilsabellen and Anto become pillars of strength, providing comfort and stability in the face of uncertainty.

Ilsabellen gazes at her reflection in the mirror, adjusting her scarf with a sense of elegance and poise. Beside her, Anto stands shirtless, his muscles rippling with strength. Ilsabellen lovingly refers to him as her husband, but Anto gently requests that she simply call him Anto, unwilling to bring unnecessary complications into their lives due to his existing relationship with another woman. With a mischievous glint in his eye, Anto playfully smudges a bit of dirt on Edith's rosy cheek. The young girl's laughter rings out, filling the air with pure joy. Ilsabellen can't help but smile, her heart swelling with love for this beautiful family they have created. However, their tranquility is suddenly shattered as the distant sound of a sandstorm approaches. Anto, sensing the impending danger, quickly kisses Ilsabellen on the forehead before rushing outside to search for essential supplies. Ilsabellen watches him go, her heart clenched with worry. She presses her hand against the frosty window, tears welling up in her eyes, as she waves frantically at her beloved Anto, hoping he can see her through the glass. As Anto disappears into the unforgiving desert landscape, Ilsabellen clutches Edith tightly, fear coursing through her veins. The wind outside intensifies, whipping sand against the windows of the airship. Ilsabellen's heart races, her mind consumed with thoughts of Anto's safety. Suddenly, the sandstorm hits with an unrelenting force. The airship trembles under its power, causing Ilsabellen and Edith to stumble and cling to one another for support. The deafening roar of the wind drowns out their cries for Anto, their voices lost in the tempest. Ilsabellen's knuckles turn white as she grips the window frame, her eyes scanning the horizon desperately for any sign of Anto. But all she can see is a hazy whirlwind of sand, obliterating any trace of her beloved. Her heart sinks, a mixture of fear and anguish washing over her. Edith's innocent voice breaks through the storm, pleading for her father's safe return. Ilsabellen musters all her strength, her determination ignited by her daughter's unwavering faith. She takes a deep breath, steadying herself, and silently vows to protect their little family with everything she has.

In a poignant flashback, Elva walks alongside five Lebensblood children, guiding them with care. As Elva notices Ilsabellen sitting proudly and lost in her thoughts, she kindly asks the children to go inside. Concern etches Elva's face as she approaches Ilsabellen, her intention to convey her worries evident. Ilsabellen's face lights up at the sight of Elva, her tough muscles a testament to her past training. However, her smile fades as she recognizes the seriousness in Elva's eyes. Elva motions towards Ilsabellen's growing collection of books on pregnancy and childbirth, her troubled expression revealing her concern. Ilsabellen's eyes widen as Elva expresses her worry about Ilsabellen's vulnerability to diseases like syphilis, especially considering her encounters with someone that made Elva even more concerned. The fear of such diseases is truly terrifying. A flicker of defiance crosses Ilsabellen's face as she shakes her head, her voice filled with determination. Elva's eyes well up with tears, a mix of fear and love evident in her gaze. She reaches out, her hands trembling, but Ilsabellen takes a step back, frustration flashing in her eyes. Ilsabellen's voice cracks, her words laced with resentment. Elva's heart sinks, realizing that she has unintentionally hurt Ilsabellen. Feeling the weight of her unintentional actions, Elva takes a step back, her voice filled with sorrow. Ilsabellen's anger subsides, and she looks at Elva with tear-filled eyes. Elva nods, her expression filled with love and acceptance. She takes Ilsabellen's hand, reaffirming their bond through shared understanding. In another scene, Elva discovers Ilsabellen sitting alone in her room, her face buried in her hands. Softly knocking on the door, Elva seeks reconciliation. Ilsabellen looks up, her eyes puffy and red from crying. With a compassionate voice, Elva enters the room, noticing the slump in Ilsabellen's shoulders, a mix of guilt and sadness etched on her face. Elva reaches out, gently brushing Ilsabellen's tear-stained cheek. Shaking her head, she speaks with understanding. Ilsabellen's eyes fill with gratitude as she takes Elva's hand in hers. Elva pulls Ilsabellen into a warm embrace, deepening their bond through forgiveness and love.

While Ilsabellen is in Ilsabellen, she wakes up her daughter, Edith. However, Edith does not consider Ilsabellen Einwolfe her mother; instead, she longs for Elva Lehmann. Despite this emotional distance, Ilsabellen remains determined to do whatever it takes to make Edith happy, even in the challenging circumstances of their settlement in the desert. In the airship's galley, Ilsabellen faces a new obstacle. The pantry is severely lacking in cooking ingredients, with only cans of carested soup remaining. As the designated cook for Edith, she knows that she needs to come up with a meal that will satisfy her daughter's appetite. However, Edith stubbornly refuses to eat the canned soup. Frustrated and concerned, she walks off the galley, leaving Ilsabellen feeling helpless. Desperate to reach out to her daughter, she calls out to Edith, hoping to engage her and understand why she's refusing to eat. In the midst of her attempts to connect with Edith, Ilsabellen's distress catches the attention of Anto. Sensing her vulnerability, he approaches her and asks what's wrong. Ilsabellen explains the situation, expressing her worry about Edith's refusal to eat and her limited cooking options. Determined to find a solution, Ilsabellen decides to return to the galley and take stock of what ingredients she has left. She carefully counts the remaining cans and is disheartened to find that there are only 22 cans remaining. This realization confuses Anto, who wonders why there are so few cans left. Undeterred, Ilsabellen begins to cook, knowing that she needs to provide for Edith's well-being. She works tirelessly, driven by her love and concern for her daughter. However, the lack of variety and options in the pantry make it challenging for her to create a meal that will bring a smile to Edith's face. Despite the challenges, Ilsabellen presses on, fueled by her determination and her desire to see Edith happy. She understands that running out of canned food is a risk she's willing to take if it means addressing Edith's needs. In her heart, she believes that her efforts will be worth it if they can bring happiness to her daughter. The scarcity of cooking ingredients and the pressure to provide for Edith have pushed Ilsabellen to her limits. However, she remains resolute in her determination to confront Edith and find a solution. She knows that her actions are driven by love, and that love gives her the strength to face any obstacles that come her way.

Days turn into weeks, and Ilsabellen and Anto find themselves standing outside the airship, their gazes fixed on the vast desert expanse that stretches before them. The sandstorm shows no sign of abating, and they know they must find a way to navigate through the treacherous terrain to reach safety. With limited fuel and damaged equipment, Ilsabellen and Anto brainstorm and strategize, their minds working in harmony as they plot a course that would minimize risk. Their unwavering dedication to Edith's well-being drives them forward, as they refuse to let the harsh desert conditions overcome their resilience. As Ilsabellen and Anto stand outside the airship, their eyes scan the horizon for any signs of help or rescue. Their supplies have run dangerously low, and they know they must find a way to replenish them soon. With Edith in their arms, they share a silent agreement - they will do whatever it takes to ensure her safety and well-being. Their determination fuels their resilience as they set off into the desert, navigating the harsh terrain with unwavering resolve. Hand in hand, Ilsabellen and Anto venture forth, their love and devotion for Edith propelling them forward through the toughest of circumstances, as they face the unknown with unwavering courage and unyielding hope.

In this gripping flashback, we are transported back to a time of immense danger and desperation. Ilsabellen, a young woman yearning to escape the clutches of the Nazis, finds herself facing a horrifying fate. The Nazis plan to send her, due to her perceived mental illness, to a death camp. With every fiber of her being, she knows she must escape. Ilsabellen's chance for freedom arrives when she finds herself hidden in a truck, accompanied by a young Austrian Jewish girl. They remain concealed as the truck drives away, the vehicle itself serving as their shield from the Nazis' prying eyes. Their destination? A factory near the German border, where Ilsabellen hopes to find safety and evade the clutches of their tormentors. As the truck comes to a halt in the underground parking lot of the factory, Ilsabellen's heart pounds in her chest. She watches intently as the driver inspects every corner of the truck, ensuring that there are no signs of their presence. Ilsabellen breathes a sigh of relief as she realizes they have successfully evaded detection. In this moment of respite, Ilsabellen turns her attention to the young girl who has become her companion. The girl, named Edith, is quiet and withdrawn, burdened not only by the weight of their circumstances but also by her own struggles with autism. Ilsabellen, determined to bring a glimmer of happiness to Edith's life, reaches out to her in friendship. With kindness and understanding, Ilsabellen attempts to engage Edith in conversation and play. She knows that laughter and shared moments of joy can provide temporary respite from the harsh reality that surrounds them. Taking a brief pause from their hidden sanctuary, Ilsabellen steps out of the truck and scans the area, searching for something that could spark a playful diversion.

Her eyes land upon a metal circle, resembling a hula hoop, lying in a nearby corner. Ilsabellen's face lights up with an idea. She retrieves the hoop and returns to Edith's side, eager to engage her in a game. Edith, although initially nervous, tentatively joins in, instinctively understanding the solace and escape that play can provide. As Ilsabellen tosses the hula hoop, Edith catches it with a mix of excitement and apprehension. But in a moment of accidental aim, the hoop collides with the metal, causing a loud noise that catches the attention of nearby workers. Panic sets in as Ilsabellen and Edith quickly find refuge under iron corners, their hearts pounding in fear of discovery. The workers, alarmed by the sudden commotion, investigate the source of the disturbance. Ilsabellen and Edith huddle together, praying that their hiding spot remains undetected. Just as it seems that their secret will be exposed, a rat scurries by, diverting the workers' attention and providing a fortuitous distraction. The workers retreat, leaving Ilsabellen and Edith hidden and unharmed. In the aftermath of their close call, Ilsabellen and Edith release nervous laughter, their relief palpable. The shared experience strengthens their bond, reminding them of the resilience and resourcefulness they possess in the face of unimaginable adversity.

The two girls wander through the cluttered parking lot, surrounded by boxes and bags. Ilsabellen reveals her split personalities to Edith, switching to Iyza's persona to display the intelligence of a 9-year-old, before returning to Ilsabellen. These split personalities serve as protectors for Ilsabellen, helping her navigate the dangers of the real world. Edith keeps her entertained by engaging with Ilsabellen's mental illness and her different personas. Iyza acts like a cat, Ilsa is highly intelligent but lacks social skills, and Ilse takes on a motherly role towards Edith. However, Ilsabellen warns Edith not to use Ilza's personality, as it is very dangerous. Instead, they rely on Iyza, Ilsa, and Ilse. As Edith becomes more stressed, she notices that Ilse's cooking needs improvement, using leftover cans they found in one of the smaller boxes. To their surprise, they also stumble upon boxes of morphine meant for the German army. Ilse takes one of the morphine boxes while the owners of the drugs enter the parking lot to search for them and transport them to the next base. Edith and Ilse find themselves hiding under the basement stairs. Ilse spells out the word "drug" and realizes what they have found. Edith grows suspicious of the dangerous implications. Ilse recalls her friends, particularly elderly World War I soldiers, who used morphine to cope with pain and heal while they were living on the streets. Ilsabellen, too, had taken small amounts of morphine to alleviate her period pains during her time on the streets. As workers search for something, Edith stubbornly insists that Ilse transform into Ilsabellen and urges her to escape with her. Edith's paranoia intensifies as they rush through the basement. They unexpectedly encounter Himmler and Bukvić Ächenberg, who happen to be in the vicinity. The Nazi guards, planning to arrest them, mistake Ilsabellen for someone of Aryan descent. As the tension reaches its peak, a bombing raid hits the factory, causing chaos and confusion.

Ilsabellen stumbled upon Edith, who lay brutally injured. Desperate to help her, Ilsabellen hastily grabbed the morphine, hoping to alleviate Edith's pain. But time was running out, and Edith's condition deteriorated rapidly. As Ilsabellen tended to Edith, an unexpected attack left her injured and terrified, lying on the grass with a sharp pain in her back. Despite her own suffering, Ilsabellen made the decision to take the morphine, all while Edith's screams of agony echoed through the air. In the midst of despair, Ilsabellen cried out, begging not to be left alone. When the chaos subsided, she managed to carry Edith deeper into the building, desperately trying to revive her before another strike damaged the factory. Himmler and Bukvić, also injured, struggled to catch up to safety as bombs rained down. Edith, seemingly lifeless, caused Ilsabellen to plead with her to stay awake. Miraculously, Edith opened her eyes and questioned whether it was all just a dream. Ilsabellen smiled, relieved to see her friend awake, and together they made their way to a hidden sanctuary. But their relief was short-lived. Upon arriving at their magical hideout through a smoky tunnel, Edith began coughing uncontrollably, her worry evident. Suddenly, the mass collapses caused a parking lot to crumble, destroying their precious sanctuary. Ilsabellen felt overwhelmed by stress and sadness, but she refused to give up. Determined, she assured Edith that they would find a way to escape the smoke and the strikes. With the help of Ilza, Ilsabellen skillfully maneuvered through the collapsing structures and avoided the dangers that lurked. Himmler watched in awe as Ilsabellen's abilities showcased the strength and resilience of an Aryan woman. Finally, Ilsabellen and Ilza reached the top of the factory, safely landing on solid ground. Ilsabellen turned back to ensure Ilza made it out unscathed, grateful for her loyal companion. However, her joy was short-lived as she realized that Edith had succumbed to her brutal injuries. Grief-stricken, Ilsabellen left Edith's lifeless body by a tree and continued on her journey, haunted by the loss of her dear friend.

As Himmler, with his eyes filled with the twisted ideology of Aryan superiority, confronted Ilsabellen, the weight of her fate hung heavy in the air. She found herself faced with a harrowing decision, one that would determine her life or death. Himmler presented her with two options, both equally disturbing in their own right. The first choice was to be sent to the death camps, where her existence would be extinguished in the most brutal and inhumane manner imaginable. The second option, though not any less horrifying, offered a sliver of a chance at survival. Himmler proposed that Ilsabellen become a perfect breeder, a vessel for the creation of the new Aryan race. In this twisted scenario, Ilsabellen would be forced to bear children, her own flesh and blood, destined to perpetuate the vile ideals of the Nazi regime. Faced with this unthinkable predicament, Ilsabellen's mind raced, desperately searching for a way to escape both the death camps and the horrific fate of becoming a breeder. Fear tightened its grip around her heart as she weighed the consequences of each choice. Death seemed imminent if she were to refuse Himmler's proposition, yet the thought of willingly participating in the creation of a new generation of Aryan children filled her with a nauseating dread. In a moment of sheer survival instinct, Ilsabellen made the gut-wrenching decision to become a breeder. It was a choice driven not by acceptance or agreement, but by the realization that it offered the slim chance of prolonging her own existence. The thought of bringing innocent lives into a world tainted by hatred and prejudice tore at her soul, but it was a sacrifice she was willing to make in order to survive. And so, in that bleak moment, Ilsabellen's fate was sealed. She would become a mother to her own birth-children, a role that would strip away her autonomy and reduce her to nothing more than a breeding machine. The weight of her decision settled upon her shoulders, a heavy burden that threatened to crush her spirit. But in the depths of her despair, Ilsabellen clung onto a flicker of hope, a glimmer of determination that whispered to her that survival, no matter the cost, was worth fighting for, as episode ended.