recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
One Man's Treasure (GAM251)

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***One Man's Treasure*** (or as Amazon doesn't call it, ***Another Man's Trash***) is the 2009 not-a-hit Mormon missionary movie about history's most uninteresting scavenger hunt, that nobody asked for and nobody saw; and wow, you can really feel that non-passion throughout this *tour de bored*.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, so you don't have to.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you loved Nicholas Cage's desperate pitch scripts for *National Treasure 2*, but you missed the logical deductions of Jeff Goldblum in *Independence Day 3*, you will *love* this movie. This is the movie version of watching a couple cheat at charades.

### **Best Worst**

* Uncle Doug: ...fitting clothes. [Poly blend car covers.]
* Uncle Dan: ...lighting. [A Bic lighter and a 3000 watt xenon Super Trouper.]
* Uncle Mark: ...unnecessary animal cameos [spiders and birds]
* Eli: ...wacky foreigner. [British.]

### **Notes**

* Check out Uncles Mark, Dan, and Doug on *The How-To Heretic* and on Twitter. Or just give them money on Patreon (if you're sure you couldn't possibly give any more to GAM).
* Recorded in February 2020 after *Sing Over Me*.
* There is no *Independence Day 3*, though there is a part two, *Independence Day: Resurgence*.
* Is that a spider behind Uncle Doug?

### **Jokes**

* And the only reason I point out this scene—cause nothing happens in it—is that blonde missionary turns to British missionary, and she's like "Hey, uh, you know how I always listen to the voices in my head because I believe them to be the Holy Spirit? How do I know those aren't Satan or me being crazy?", to which British missionary responds "This scene is over. This scene is *over*." [Uncles: When she says "What if the voice in my head is just me?", I was like "Sister Blonde has just had the first cogent thought I have heard in a GAM film *ever*. I thought the same thing. Keep going stupid! Did these two sister missionaries just have an existential discussion about the existence of good and evil and the nature of free will, or am I just desperately trying to give this movie a theme?] [Heath: They almost did that, and they panicked, and like Eli said they cut the scene right away.](30:07)

### **Interstitials**

* First Ever Writers Room Meeting (8:18)
* Timing Everything (50:14)
* I'm So Hungry! (1:14:39)

### **Tropes**

* BRIAN! (Fuck You!) [Journal Prop]
* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* Coincidence Treated like a Miracle
* Disease of Homosexuality
* Kitchen Table
* Minority Best Friend
* Nothin we Happens

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Trailer on YouTube [The film is currently on Tubi]
* IMDB
A Distant Thunder (GAM013)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Eli Bosnick

***A Distant Thunder*** is the second film in the *Thief in the Night* series, and is basically the story of the thing that the main character dreamed about in the last one. This combination of porn level acting and Smurf level theology terrified evangelical youth throughout the eighties and nineties, and now it just terrifies lovers of good cinema and fashion. And according to IMDB, this is the story of "Add a plot."

### **Opening Phrase:**

Where each week we sample another selection of Christian cinema in an effort to justify all the meth.

### **How Bad Was It?**

I gotta admit, I'm *kinda* getting into this series. And let me explain why... it's not a good movie. It's not a good movie. But the first time... you ever been told someone's crazy, and then they don't act crazy around you, and it's kind of disappointing? They're like "No man, this dude, this dude? There's a reason we call him Nutty Jim." And you're like "What's going on Jim?", and he's like "Nothing, you want some nachos?" But then the *next* time you see him, he put his dick over his wrist and *stapled* it there so everyone would think it was a watch. *That's* what this movie is like.

### **Notes:**

* The second film in the "Tribulation Saga", proceeded by *A Thief in the Night* and followed by *Image of the Beast*, and *Prodigal Planet*.

### **Jokes**

* [Noah: So, you've got three girls doing a puzzle in a thunderstorm, and you know, talking about how hippie—] [Eli: Not the sexual position guys, just actually doing a puzzle... in a thunderstorm. I *wish* they were doing the second—listen, Google that. A Puzzle in a Thunderstorm is hard. You gotta get four people, one of em's gotta be a little person, and one of em's gotta be flexible; now, if the little person's flexible you only need three people. But if… if it's four people—wait no, it's five… How many holes does the female body have? I always forget. I'm gonna just... Two, three… is it—could it just be three? Is it just three? I feel like it's just three. Anyways, that's neither here nor there; tune into our new podcast, *How to Properly Do a Puzzle in a Thunderstorm*.] (59:20)

#### **Interstitials**

* The very first town hall meeting in the New World Order (4:48)
* "Alright, next up on the execution list... Bosnick, Eli?" (1:03:13)

### **Tropes**

* And Then the Apocalypse/Rapture Happens
* Not Christian Enough
* Boss in a Bit Part
* Bible Reading Montage
* Dead Baby Comedy
* Deathbed Proselytizing
* Go Fuck Yourself!
* Persecuted Christians
* Problem of Evil
* This is YOUR Movie!

### **Links**

* Episode on YouTube
* Film on YouTube
* IMDB
Come What May (GAM209)

Heath Enright

Eli Bosnick

***Come What May*** is the story of how to debate abortion as told by home schooled twelve-year-olds, who think that the two positions are "Pro-life from the moment of conception because it's a *baaaby*" and "Maybe, just maybe, one person somewhere can get an abortion, if she was raped by Brett Kavanagh and Brett Kavanaugh is her dad."

### **Opening Phrase:**

Where each week we watch another terrible movie so you don't have to.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you hate Andrew Torrez, and you want to torture him for ninety straight minutes, you will *love* this movie. Listener... seriously, this movie takes literally everything my friend Andrew Torrez loves and holds dear, and destroys it—law, baseball, debate, homeschooling, fucking *baking*—there is nothing… if at the end of this movie Andrew's wife walked onto screen and got hit screen, it would be complete. It would destroy all things Andrew Torrez likes, and his notes devolve—if you love Edgar Allan Poe, you'll love Andrew Torrez's notes. By the end of the movie they're just like "You mother fu…"; he's sending out phone numbers that he's doxxed of these kids… "I'm coming to your house."

### **Best Worst**

* Andrew: Eli took my first seven choices, so I guess I'll have to go with best worst cheese grating?
* Heath: ...baseball. Now, I don't just mean the sport of doing baseball—I do mean that—but specifically I mean, like, *a* baseball.

### **Notes**

* Product placement for the unaccredited "Patrick Henry College."
* *Transformers* was already destroyed for Andrew Torrez by *Transformers: The Last Knight*.

### **Interstitials**

* Andrew Torrez, moot court coach at "Boy Howdy Do We Love Jesus" University. (6:07)
* "Way Better. I didn't even vomit this time." (1:11:09)

### **Tropes**

* Bad Sportsing/Sportsing
* Christians Don't Know How the World Works

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* IMDB
Teenage Conflict (GAM314)

### Starring:

Denise Alexander, Hayden Rorke, Gorden Gebert, Evelyn Scott, Don Edmonds, Kort Falkenberg, Joseph Sonessa, Susan Whitney, Jan Stine

## Hosts

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

### Special Guest

Jessica Bluemke Greiff

***Teenage Conflict*** is a 1960s pro-Christian propaganda film about… God, I guess? About how learning and science is bad?

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we watch another terrible movie, so you don't have to.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love Jesus, but reel to reel videos of a nerd at a blackboard has torn your world asunder, you will *love*this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Jess: …use of every single logical fallacy there is. [Problem of Evil, multiple times.]
* Heath: …understanding of what a computer is. [A supercomputer brain… in 1960.]
* Eli: …villain. [Richard Feynman stand-in.]

### **Notes**

* Check out Jess on Twitter, the *Friendly Atheist Podcast*, *Cooper Dooper: A Twin Peaks Podcast for Regular People*, and her website.

### **Jokes**

* [Jess: I don't think atheists are, like, *oppressed*, widely and largely—there's some weird shit that people have said—but like, just the idea that just who I am is going to hurt somebody's feelings *sucks*.] [Eli: Yeah. Yeah, it's, it's like—someone's like, "Oh, do you like *Game of Thrones*?" And I'm like, "Ah, you know, I like the *early* seasons—the 'last *season though…" And then they start weeping. That's what it's like to be an atheist.] [Jess: Uh-huh.] [[Heath: "The last seasons were amazing!"] [Eli: "You watch, when the—"] [Jess: My* grandmother *was Daenerys. She* died *for you.]*
* [Jess: Aw, banana oil!] (7:37)

### **Interstitials**

* 50s Writers' Room Meeting (6:29)
* Science McScience (45:00)
* Christian Science Club (1:06:06)
* Jessica's Friendly Secrets (1:06:58)
* Heath Coughing like a Princess/Dotty the Dog (1:34:02)

### **Tropes**

* Bad Christian Space Work
* Cancer Mom
* Christians Don't Know how the World Works
* Heroes are Villains, Villains are Heroes
* Problem of Evil
* SEXISM!
* Who's That Girl?
* World Without Black People

### **Animal House Close**

* Jess: God created the science that is healing you mom, but *not* that *other* science.
* Heath: God's first words to Sputnik and the human race were "Is that a fucking burned up corpse of a *dog*? What did you just do?"
* Eli: God killed these children's mom with painful colon cancer, but at least he did it without her ever having a mildly unpleasant conversation about religion.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* Film on Internet Archive
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Magic Spoon: [CODE: GAM] Bran Cereal for Heath's 40th Birthday (1:35:42)
* FitBod: Mostly Serious Introduction, but Not as Old as Heath (1:37:57)
* Better Health: Heath Talks to the Internet (1:40:18)
Mayflower II (GAM354)

### Starring:

Stephen Hardy, Ryan-Over Klann, Shawna Pliva, Rick Borger, Rich Swingle, Nathan Clarkson, Justin Lewis, Danae Chapman

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

### Special Guest

Cara Santa Maria

***Mayflower II*** is the story of Christian people wanting to leave the United States because of "cancel culture" gone too far, and them pretending that the evil atheist government of the future would try to stop them from leaving.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because if we just replayed the archives, the topical humor would be out of date.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you've always dreamed of one day finally making the movie that you wrote at sleepaway Bible camp when you were eight years old, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Cara: Canadian tourism bureau advertisement. [So many "aboots."]
* Noah: …computer voice. [The actor was presumably making fun of the movie.]
* Heath: …uniforms that we're apparently gonna have when we colonize other planets. [All jaunty shoulder pads.]

### **Notes**

* Check out Cara on her website, Twitter, *Talk Nerdy*, *The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe*, *Fixed That for You*, and (thanks to Eli) iLoveSkinBooks.com.
* Filmed in 2014 from 1 August to 3 September after *My Grandpa Detective* (the initial budget for both films was $48,000), and they've been in post production ever since.
* Check out the *Mayflower II* Facebook page for more interesting tidbits, like that the guns are literally Nerf guns.

### **Interstitials**

* List of Types of Science to Avoid in the Script (7:23)
* Why Do They Think We're Terrorists? (41:56)
* Gabriel Gets Too Elaborate (1:16:24)

### **Tropes**

* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* SEXISM!
* This is YOUR Movie!
* Who's That Girl?
* World Without Black People

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Cara: They went back to Earth, and well… you'll have to tune into *Mayflower II 2* to find out what's next.
* Noah: Emmett went on to learn about butt stuff, and not really care what church he went to anymore.
* Heath: During that first winter on Venus… nothing happened, because they all got vaporized *way* before they landed on Venus.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* [Episode on YouTube]
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb
In Search of Dudley Dumpling (GAM364)

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***In Search of Dudley Dumpling*** is the story of a failing radio station's quest to kidnap a religious puppet because listeners are tired of sweatsock poetry.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we watch another terrible movie so you don't have to.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love *The Muppet Show*, but you've only ever seen it through the crack under your door at the asylum where you've been kept for the last forty years because you massacred your family in a structure to a Lovecraftian god, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Cecil: …misogyny. [Towards the one female character.]
* Heath: …racial tension. [This is the precursor to the puppet discrimination of *Greg the Bunny* and *The Happytime Murders*... in a children's movie.]
* Eli: …fat shaming. [Heath's childhood.]

### **Notes**

* Check out Cecil on *Cognitive Dissonance*, his YouTube channel *Season Liberally*, and GAM sister show *Citation Needed*
* Other Dudley Dumpling movies include *Gods Warrior: Dudley Dumpling* (the same film chopped up into five twenty-minute episodes with "last time on" reviews), *We've a Story to Tell* (also available here), and *Ambushed!* (GAM242). There's also a puppet-free sequel to *Ambushed!* called *Hoodwinked!*

### **Interstitials**

* Based on a Seven Volume Epic About the Rapture and Cloth Homunculi (6:18)
* Steve Works Through Childhood Weight Issues (36:08)
* Reading UnexpurgatedBible Stories to Children (1:00:38)
* Truth (1:28:09) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* Heroes are Villains, Villains are Heroes
* Indoctrination of Children
* SEXISM!
* RACISM!

### **Animal House Close**

* Cecil: The Indiana church leaders would continue to slowly dress their children, and get them wet.
* Heath: The puppets defeated the humans in the race war, and made them walk the Trail of Puppet-tears.
* Eli: That *has* to be the end. I had one, but that has to be the end.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Quip: Eli and Heath in Cecil's Apartment (1:29:07)
* Better Help: Better than Epsilon Brain Pill Neutropics (1:31:09)
* MintMobile: Fixing Cecil's Mysterious Phone Problems (1:32:42)
Olivia Olson

**Olivia Olson** (ur. 21 maja 1992 w Los Angeles, USA) – amerykańska aktorka, piosenkarka i autorka piosenek. Olson najbardziej znana jest z roli Vanessy Dundersztyc córki Heinza Dundersztyca z serialu Fineasz i Ferb i z roli Joanny Anderson z filmu To właśnie miłość.

Została adoptowana natychmiast po urodzeniu. Olivia Olson jest córką amerykańskiego producenta Martina Olsona z którym mieszka.
Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire (GAM035)

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire*** is the second leg of a trilogy that continues telling the story that did not happen in part one from last week. This is *Nothing Happened 2: The Middle Part of the Script*.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because *fuck us*.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you thought to yourself "Man, when David A. R. White's mom left him alone, and he got his hands on *The Bourne Identity*, did he also get his hands on season one of *Homeland*?", the answer is yes. Yes, he did, because in *this* he's going to cover his face, and according to David A. R. White (and this is his Twitter, not mine) that makes him an "A-rab." Not actually his Twitter, but we're not surprised. We're not surprised, right? We're not like—if that was real we wouldn't be like "Oh my gosh, no way, David A.R. White?"

### **Notes**

* Check out Thomas (the first ever returning guest masochist) on *Thomas and the Bible*, *Opening Arguments*, *Serious Inquiries Only*, and *Philosophers in Space*.
* The second of the *Revelation Road* series, preceded by *Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End* and followed by *Revelation Road 3: The Black Rider*.
* The preliminary DVD cover on Walmart.com literally says "PLACEHOLDER QUOTE" - Tom Saab, CFFA (Christian Film Festivals of America, Inc.).

### **Jokes**

* [Heath: Yeah. This girl is *aggressive*—I mean, like, men's rights matter. We don't say it enough.] [Thomas: Yeah. This is—if you had sex with *this* girl you *don't* come and you're like, "Yeah, okay. That's good. No, I'm good We're good."] [Eli: "We're done now. This was fun. Oh yeah."] [Thomas: "No, no, I came. I came a while ago. Boy, did I come."]
* (2:04)
* (1:05:40)

### **Interstitials**

* Noah Lists Patrons/Patreon Goals & Bonuses (7:20)
* Legitimate Business Biker Gang (1:18:40)
* Script Meeting with David A. R. White (1:19:23)
* Outtakes (2:05:49) [Post Credits]

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: Goth farmer guy promoted to assistant manager at Hot Topic.
* Noah: The guy who did the stereo mixing for this movie didn't take kindly to my criticism, and vowed revenge.
* Eli: The Boz went on to start a very successful overnight smithing business… brother.

### **Tropes**

* And Then the Apocalypse Happens
* Angry Yelling at God
* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* Crazy Billionaire Money
* Jingly Keys
* Looks Like…
* Nothing Happens
* Secret Jesus

```
*Vaguely Heard of Jesus

```

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on Patreon
* Episode on YouTube
* Film on YouTube (Romanian subtitles)
* IMDb
The Encounter 2: Paradise Lost (GAM075)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***The Encounter 2: Paradise Lost*** is the story of six people stuck in a hotel lobby in Thailand for no reason, where they get held hostage and lectured by a guy who claims to be the son of God.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because *something* has to be worse than the pizza in Chicago.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love action dramas, but you hate that there aren't fifty unacknowledged of smack talk about Buddha in the middle, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: …disappearing stakes. [Miracled away by Jesus.]
* Eli: …henchman. [Shouldn't always want to shoot people.]
* Noah: …superfluous tsunami. [So that they could film at a Thai resort.]

### **Notes**

* This episode features the first Patron-exclusive post-credit outtakes, as well as the first time Patrons had the ads (by popular request—they're that good) added to the end of the episode. Also, Patreon was down that day, so it didn't go up until 8:10 PM. And oddly enough, the standard version of the episode includes slightly more of the beginning of the opening joke: "Cause, you know, like, David A.R. White says 'I saw that guy outside the jail when I was released.' And he goes—and Jesus goes…"

### **Jokes**

* [Noah: "You used the wrong verb tense Rick. I *am* outside the jail right now." And I'm like, "Yes we're all outside the fucking jail! You know what he meant!" But that's apparently *not* what he meant. What he meant is that "I'm in all places at all times", or something.] [Eli: "*Apostrophe* R E." "I was talking." "Mmmm… I could tell."] [Noah: \*laughs\* Jesus is such a dick.] [Heath: You know about the apostrophe R E? *Really*. That's new.]
* Eli on Drowning Babies & Being a Dad (1:35:52)

### **Interstitials**

* Surprising Thomas Smith with a ReasonCon Guest Appearance (5:49)
* David is Zero Percent Willing to Compromise on Insensitivity (7:24)
* Rick Literally Doesn't Know What "Justice" Means (1:09:23)
* Outtakes (1:44:39) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Atheist Converts to Christianity
* Bad Christian Space Work
* Boss in a Bit Part
* Cancer Wife/God Killed My Mom/Evil Stole My Faith
* Kitchen Table
* Looks Like…
* Reprehensible Moral Message
* Secret Jesus
* SEXISM!
* The Eli Bosnick Story

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: Lord Jesus Christ went on to mend the relationship between a German man and his son by causing a second Holocaust.
* Noah: Mimi went on to be a former heroin-addicted prostitute widowed Thai woman with no marketable skills in a religion abhored by 98.8% of her country's population. I'm sure that worked out great for her.
* Eli: Mr. Deville opened a nightclub called "Satine's: I'm the Devil, Lucifer." It was a huge success.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Blue Apron: Eli Accidentally Robbed an Amazon Grocery Store (1:46:46)
He Who Finds a Wife (GAM416)

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***He Who Find a Wife*** is the story of a black man named Ansel who thinks he loves his fiance Lauren, until his new co-worker Brie Thee Stallion (who apparently needs this job because she has outgrown *all* of her clothes) offers up extra temptation during a sudden bout of abstinence before their wedding.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we watch another terrible movie so you don't have to.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love the thinly veiled morality plays of Tyler Perry, but *Big Momma's House 3* was a bit too subtle and well-acted for you, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Kat: …sex scene. [Unusual for a Christian movie.]
* Heath: …failed meet-cute. [A meet-gross.]
* Eli: …cellphone rings. [Pre-9/11.]
* Tee: …Toni Braxton impersonation theme song. [Too drunk for karaoke.]

### **Notes**

* Check out Kat and T on the *Bible Breakdown* podcast on *Apple Podcasts* or *PodBean*, and check out Kat on *The Fake Ass Book Club* podcast.
* This movie has a sequel: *He Who Finds a Wife 2: Thou Shall Not Covet*.

### **Jokes**

* [Kat: Okay. No! No, jacking off is pretty much gay 'cause you're—you have your hand on a man's dick. So, you can't—] [Eli: Ooooh.I mean, that's never been a problem for me on the other end of the spectrum either!] [Heath: Okay. What if I'm doing that, and I'm not attracted to myself? Then it's fine, right?] [Eli: Ooo.] [Kat: It's still gay, it's just a hate fuck.] [Eli: What if I fight myself as hard as I can? What if my wife is having gay thoughts?] [Kat: You're just describing hotter and hotter sex.] [Eli: Thank you. She gets it.] [Kat: That's all that's happening there.]

### **Interstitials**

* First Writers' Room Meeting (6:00)
* Inappropriate Office Intimacy (35:07)
* I Get to Cheat on Her, Right? (58:49)
* Outtakes (1:21:50) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Awkward Kiss
* Bad Christian Space Work
* Heroes are Villains, Villains are Heroes
* HOMOPHOBIA!
* Kitchen Table
* Name That Movie!
* SEXISM!

### **Animal House Close**

* Kat: Ansel and Lauren get married, but six months after that, Ansel and Lauren get caught in a double catfish on a married people dating app, and have a good laugh.
* Heath: Homophobic rapper guy got roasted on Instagram by Lil Nas X, and he's cancelled now.
* Tee: Spencer (also known as Badooka) becomes a body double for Jason Mitchell, after Jason Mitchell's career tanked.
* Eli: Pastor Whatshisname never did open that folder he held through the entire movie.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* GAM Live: Eli's Elvis Impersonation for Las Vegas (7:29)
* FitBod: Eli Box Jumps (1:22:17)
* Hello Fresh: [CODE: 50AWFUL] Eli's Vegan Tacos(1:24:06)
* Better Help: Midnight Boxing for Podcasting Partnerships (1:26:08)
Santa Claus (GAM225)

### Starring:

José Elías Moreno, Pulgarcito, José Luis Aguirre, Armando Arriola, Lupita Quezadas, Antonio Díaz Conde, Ken Smith

### Production Company:

Churubusco–Azteca Studios Mexico, Cinematográfica Calderón S.A.

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Eli Bosnick

### Special Guest

Rebecca Vigil

***Santa Claus*** (also known as ***Santa Claus vs. the Devil***) is a 1959 Mexican fantasy film, and is one of the truly great bad movies of all fucking time and is almost universally recognized as such.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we watch another selection from Christian cinema, because Dan Carlin already had dibs on quadrennial history shows.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love Christmas, but "whoa, the acid just hit" and you really need Steve to stop making that face, you will *taste* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Rebecca: ...editor.
* Noah: ...Earth.
* Eli: ...shenanigans.

### **Notes**

* Check out Rebecca on her website, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or YouTube.
* Christmas-tacular!
* This film is the 1960 English dub/edit by "Ken Smith" (US producer/distributor K. Gordon Murray) of the original 1959 Mexican film directed by Rene Cardona.
* Noah didn't deny that Heath is just a voice that Eli does when he doesn't have a cold.

### **Jokes**

* "Luckily, our listeners get a little inside knowledge here that's not even on the trivia of the IMDB page: according to the movie *The 50 Worst Movies of All Time* and its accompanying book, the reason that he is constantly laughing is that the actor who played Santa sort of mumbled to himself in Spanish in ways that didn't make a lot of sense in the translation, and since K. Gordon Muray didn't want to translate all of that Spanish, he just told the English dub actor to laugh over all of the quick Spanish dialogue. So, all of that is Santa like mumbling to himself and being like 'Doo doo doo, I'm Santa. I'll put some gifts here, I'll put some gifts there…' same K. Gordon Murray was like 'Boo! Boring! We'll just get to the plot points' and replaced it all with 'Ha ha ha ha ha.' So again, as you go through this movie, just remember every time Santa's laughing, it's because a white guy didn't want to translate too much Spanish." (8:33)

### **Interstitials**

* "How about *Mad Libs*? We *Mad Libs* the plot, see what happens." (5:06)
* Making Mexico's Greatest Christmas Movie (34:35)

### **Tropes**

* Boss in a Bit Part
* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* Giving Someone a Book/Reading Montage
* Neglectful/Godless /Abusive Parent

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Film on YouTube
* IMDB
Risen (GAM028)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Risen*** is the story of the Roman cop who gets assigned by Pontius Pilate to investigate the new Christianity tribe after a notable grave robbery, and during his journey to figure out what happened, he finds himself getting a little too close with this weird culture of people, and struggles with thoughts of going native. It's kind of like *Apocalypse Now* with Jesus—it's *Apocalypse Later*.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because there's just no Arctic tundra left to explore.

### **How Bad Was It?**

I mean, it wasn't that bad. It was fine. The only reason this was a good movie, was because they completely ignored the Bible to do it.

### **Notes**

* Strangely, this episode lacks the usual clip from later in the show inserted at the beginning—instead, it's just the music. At around 33:34, the audio starts echoing briefly.
* Watched by Eli in an empty New York theater, and by Heath and Noah in a Georgia theater packed with elderly Christians.

### **Jokes**

* [Eli: Right. And so, he gets summoned by Pontius Pilate, and this is—if you were to ask me what's the recurring theme of this film, it's someone walking in and going "Pontius wants you." That happens *eight-hundred*—God, did I miss text texting! And it's always the same guy, he just goes "Hey man—" I know what you want! Pontius wants me. "Yeah, that's what I do."] [Noah: You can just kind of wave.] [Eli: "I'm the 'Pontius Wants You' guy. That's my whole fucking life."] [Noah: "That's all I've got.] ["Eli: He comes home to his wife, she's like, "hHow was work today?" "I don't know, Pontius wanted some people. That's what I do. Can I die of the rickets, please?"] [Noah: In due time, in due time.] (15:06)

### **Interstitials**

* *Totally Not Jesus* (5:45)
* "My Lord, Pontius Calls for You" (53:14)

### **Tropes**

* Coincidence Treated Like a Miracle
* The Eli Bosnick Story
* Looks Like…

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: Jesus remained dead. Still waiting.
* Eli: After 40 days and 40 nights, Stephen the messenger finally hunted down Caius, and

told him… Pontius wanted to see him.

* Noah: Mary got the clap

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Trailer on YouTube
* IMDb
Lazer Us (GAM296)

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Lazer Us*** is a super weird fever dream that gave me bad nightmares; it was kind of like if David Lynch had a stroke, then he found Jesus, and then he had another stroke, and then he was given a fancy camera and told "Hey David Lynch: go make a movie, but you can only use the people in this grocery store to do it."

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we watch another terrible movie so you don't have to.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you loved *Scott Pilgrim vs. the World*, but you wish incest foot fetishes played a bigger part and that each page of the script was burned after a single viewing, you will *love* this movie. It's *A Pilgrim's Progress vs. the World of Cinema*.

### **Best Worst**

* Cara: ...bastardization of Johnny Cash.
* Heath: ...I have no idea what happened. [What?]
* Eli: …origin story. [A dream the writer/director had.]

### **Notes**

* Check out Cara on her website, Twitter, *Talk Nerdy*, *The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe*, *Fixed That for You*, and (thanks to Eli) iLoveSkinBooks.com.
* Filmed in 2012 (with the working title *Resurrection of a Guitar Hero*, the film premiered at the Manhattan Film Festival on 27 June 2013 as *The Legend of Jimi Lazer*, before being released on DVD in 2014 as *Lazer Us*. There's also a music video, and a behind the scenes featurette (part one and part two). Filming was 18 April–21 Apri (with a skeleton crew) and 23 April–5 May, and reshoots were 9 October–11 October, for a total of nineteen days.
* "Paul is dead" is, in fact, an urban legend/conspiracy theory that Paul died and was replaced by a double.

### **Interstitials**

* Writer/Director & Kids (4:36)
* Selling Your Soul for Gospel Music? (43:32)
* June Carter Accent (1:37:05) [Post Credits]

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Trailer on YouTube

Film on YouTube

* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Theragun: Eli Giving Heath a Massage at Cara's (1:37:48)
* Magic Spoon Cereal: [CODE:GAM] Lou Diamond Phillips & Benedict the Blueberry (1:39:39)
* Masterclass: Borrowing Cara's Emmys (1:42:02)
Confessions of a Prodigal Son (GAM060)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Confessions of a Prodigal Son*** is the story of how religion has better morals than atheism; for example, in Christianity you can do *literally* anything you want as long as you ask for God's forgiveness when you're done. Just like that story from Luke 15 about the prodigal son, which they stole badly and turned into a 90-minute movie.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because of *you*—it's *your* fault, all *your* fault.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you loved *The Diary of Anne Frank*, but you wish that it had been about that couple everybody in high school knew should have broken up *way* before they did, then you will *love* this movie. This is just a series of nonsense diary entries, punctuated by the worst teacher in the universe, and couples who should not be together having boring fights that you wish you weren't watching.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: …being meta by accident. [*Inception* levels of stealing the bible story.]
* Eli: …least well-handled daddy issues [Doubling the fuck down.]
* Eli: …least acknowledged stalking. [That's not just being mad.]

### **Notes**

* This "film" started life as a 2013 Kickstarter, which raised $13,835 from 173 backers and a GoFundMe that raised $1435 (the production quality accurately reflects these numbers). Filming reportedly ran from 16 August 2013 to 30 August 2013 in LA. There seems to have been a website registered but never created, and the Facebook page no longer exists, but the Twitter account still exists.
* This editor originally thought that the only poster for the film was the DVD cover, but the directors mother posted the original poster on Pinterest.

### **Jokes**

* [Eli: He also has this *crazy* moment where he's like "Look, there's a lot of people who will say that God is angry—*don't* read his book—but if… just… I'm telling you… God's *too* big, like too big, like you can't even fit it in your *mouth*, that's how big God is.] [laughter] [Heath: Complaints. Literally complaints.] [Eli: This is why I write sermons down. This is why I run them by my wife. God wants your *face*… off." He just starts doing movie quotes!] [laughter]

### **Interstitials**

* Donald Trump Wastes His Money on GAM Ads (6:22)
* K-Sorbs, Could You Film on Your Lunch Break? (7:57)
* Boot Camp Professor (1:16:39)

### **Tropes**

* Alcohol=Bad Guy
* Boss in a Bit Part
* Dollar in the Swear Jar
* Nothing Happens
* Secret Jesus

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: Shawn went on to be a terrible writer with no inheritance money. He now lives in the crawlspace above his rich brothers garage
* Noah: James spent the next several years having sex with a handful of Ali's used Kleenex. His neighborhood has far fewer stray cats that it used to
* Eli: Sean prayed the gay away after all

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb
Aleksandra Domańska

**Aleksandra Domańska** (ur. 9 maja 1989 roku w Garwolinie) – aktorka dubbingowa. W 2012 roku ukończyła Akademię Teatralną w Warszawie.

## Ulubiony dubbing

### Seriale animowane

* 2012-?: *Legenda Korry* - Korra
* 2014: *Inspektor Gadżet* - Penny

### Filmy projektowe

* 2019:
	+ *Fineasz i Ferb - Film 1: Słoneczne dni wakacji*
	+ *Fineasz i Ferb - Film 2: Heinz Drakensztyc - Straszna klątwa Robina* - Izabevin Garcia-Drakiro (w dawnej momencie)
Along Came the Devil (GAM217)

Noah Lugeons

Eli Bosnick

***Along Came the Devil*** is scary family drama made by white pedophiles. There will be so many moments of child sexualization for no reason that never lead to anything in this movie, it's terri—Jeremy Epstein, co-producer of *Along Came the Devil* ladies and gentlemen. And they're *all* blonde.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christan cinema, or we get the hose again.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love *The Exorcist*, but you're tired of those unrealistic demonic body standards, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Rebecca: ...hamfisted use of every horror movie trope ever.
* Noah: ...who and where the fuck are these people?
* Eli: ...twiiist ending?

### **Notes**

* Check out Rebecca on her website, Twitter, or Instagram.
* As is apparent from the website's URL, the movie was originally called *Tell Me Your Name*.
* *Along Came the Devil 2* was released on 11 October 2019.

### **Jokes**

* "Alright, so now we're going to ramp up the pedophile shit here, because the next morning we cut to pastor Boy Band taking—he's got this super zoom on his lens—taking super close-up pictures of Ashley as she rides her bike to the candy store. *And it will never, ever come back.* They will never explain why he'd be doing this, other than that he's a pedophile." (34:24)
* "Now, for those of you listening, you may be confused… and, *yeah*. Yes. Us too. We are doing our fucking jobs then." (51:10)

### **Interstitials**

* Possession 101 with Balthazar the Forbidden One Who Knows the Rain and the Blood (5:30)
* Dad Bod Devil [Doodly-Doo](42:39)
* "Loo loo loo, doing teenage girl stuff—teenage girl stuff is my favorite stuff." (53:35)

### **Tropes**

* Who's That Girl?
* GO FUCK YOURSELF!
* Take Your Damn Medicine

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Film on YouTube (Paid)
* IMDB
Preguntas frecuentes

El término **preguntas frecuentes** (traducción al español de la expresión inglesa *Frequently Asked Questions*, cuyo acrónimo es **FAQ**) se refiere a una lista de preguntas y respuestas que surgen frecuentemente dentro de un determinado contexto y para un tema en particular.

En español, se pueden utilizar dos acrónimos:

* PP. FF., de uso reciente, poco utilizado (se utiliza más el acrónimo inglés F.A.Q.)
* P. U. F., de **preguntas de uso frecuente**, aunque menos utilizado.

Los primeros sistemas FAQ fueron desarrollados en los años sesenta y eran unas interfaces construidos con lenguaje natural y su acceso era bastante restringido; entre los sistemas creados bajo este esquema estaba baseball (1961), el cual respondía a preguntas sobre la liga de béisbol de los estados unidos en el periodo de un año. También estaba el sistema lunar (1972), el cual respondía preguntas sobre el análisis geológico de las piedras lunares obtenidas en las misiones de apoyo en los viajes a la luna; con base en estos sistemas y tras el éxito obtenido de ellos, se fueron desarrollando más; los cuales eran basados en una base de datos de conocimiento escrita de forma manual por expertos.

## Uso en la actualidad

En la actualidad, el término se utiliza para referirse a listas de preguntas frecuentes o cualquier listado de preguntas, independientemente de que se formulen con frecuencia o no.

El término PP. FF. —y el concepto de listas de preguntas— ha trascendido el ámbito de internet, y hoy en día es habitual verlo en folletos informativos sobre artículos de consumo.
Młodzi Tytani

Grupa nastolatków prowadząca do uwolnienia świata ze szponów zła. Istnieją dwa dodatkowe oddziały na wschodniej i zachodniej stronie Stanów Zjednoczonych. Pozwala to głównym założycielom na nie jeżdżenie w miejsca oddalone od setki kilometrów od bazy.

## Oddziały

### Młodzi Tytani

Jest to pierwotny zespół w którym znajdują się założyciele, którzy zajmują się głównie stanem Kalifornia, a także poważniejszymi konfliktami.

#### Członkowie

* Robin
* Raven
* Bestia
* Gwiazdka
* Cyborg
* Terra (dawniej)
Gymkata (GAM Bonus 051)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Gymkata*** is the story of the US government successfully implementing the "Star Wars" missile-defence-system by sending a gymnast to a secret kingdom somewhere near Afghanistan to win an obstacle-course-Kumate using his gymnastics-based unmixed-martial-art called "doing gymnastics while everyone walks to and gets kicked in the face, to death." And to their credit, this movie is *way* more realistic than the Star Wars" missile-defence-system.

### **Opening Phrase:**

Where each month we sample another selection from secular cinema, because they won't let me be a surgeon, even if I bring my own bone saw.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you've ever watched gymnastics and thought to yourself "Yeah, that would probably hurt if you were standing there, right?", you… wrote this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: …"people who enjoyed this movie also enjoyed…" on Amazon. [*The Program*, *Beverley Hills Cop 2*, *Bulletproof*, *Solarbabies*, *Samurai Cop*, and anything with Chuck Norris.]]
* Noah: ...fight scenes. [So much work and talent to make something so terrible.]
* Eli: ...Checkov's super-sharp axe, firing knife, and—of course—handstand walking up stairs.[Go fuck yourself.]

### **Notes**

* Based on *The Terrible Game* (23 August 1957) by Dan Tyler Moore, which sadly lacks the gymnastics.
* Eli believed in a secret Reagan "Star Wars" missile-defence-system right up until Heath's summary of this movie.

### **Jokes**

* (17:50)
* (41:52)
* (1:22:12)

### **Interstitials**

* The First Fight Day of *Gymkata* (5:53)
* The Village of the Damned Therapy (40:30)
* 122nd Meeting of the Village of the Damned(1:08:49)

### **Links**

* on Patreon
* Trailer on YouTube
* IMDb
Agent Emes: The Fish Head (GAM106)

Noah Lugeons

Eli Bosnick

***Agent Emes: The Fish Head*** is episode one of the masterpiece *The Adventures of Agent Emes*, and is about how selective inbreeding can cause just enough genetic defects to be noticeable, but not enough to discourage the behaviour.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, except when Eli picks something that isn't Christian or cinema, but don't worry—it's going to be awesome.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you're a witch who brought racist cartoons of Jews to life and then forgot where you put them, you will *love* this movie… 'cause you found your cartoons.

### **Best Worst**

* Eli: …genetics.
* Moshe: ...attempt to make the Jews look good.
* Noah: ...slapstick Nazi.

### **Notes**

* Check out Moishe nowhere, because like Emes, he's a secret agent.
* This would be a lot easier to understand if we found out Richard Spencer made it.
* Followed by "Rabbi-napped" and "The Case of the Missing Pushka".

### **Jokes**

* "I want to point out: our first introduction to Secret Agent Enes is that he's a stone cold *fucking* killer. This guy's up on a *high* ladder, and all he's doing is trying to cut a magic wire. Not great, I understand, you're missing with people's religion—I get it, it's not a good thing, it's not a nice thing to do—but this kid tries to shake him off the fucking ladder. He tries to *murder* this man in cold blood. Secret Agent Emes is like fucking psychotic Daniel Craig over here. That's the moment where I was like 'Oh, this is a serious fucking spy film: I'm in.' "(22:24)
* "And for those of you who have never heard a shofar before—who haven't experienced the mitzvah of hearing a shofar—I want to point out: the first time you hear a shofar, there is no possible way you think that is what it is supposed to sound like. Ever. You're always like 'Oh man, he messed up. I'll just wait for him to do it again properly.' And then they do the same thing twice, and you're like 'Oh, this is it." For like forty-five minutes. And I should point out, the first time you do it—it's part of this long Torah service, that takes like an hour and a half—and each time you're like 'Any minute now there's going to be a tune.' Nope. It's always… it goes: \*extended series of random noises\* You're like, 'Well, soon it's going to be music. He's going to play a s… oh no, he's doing it more. Okay, he's having—something's wrong here; he's not okay.' Also, there's one called the goolit, and the first time it... you *crack* the first time you hear that... every single… there is *no* Jew… Jesus Christ himself the first time he heard this goolit (or whatever it is) was like 'That's fucking hilarious.' " (55:45)

### **Interstitials**

* Donald Trump discovers *Agent Emes* (17:15)
* "I ran out of Jew words." (1:03:19)

### **Tropes**

* The Eli Bosnick Story
* Bad Sportsing
* Indoctrination of Children
* Not Jewish Enough
* Nothing Happens

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Trailer on YouTube
* IMDB
Justyna Bojczuk

**Justyna Bojczuk** (ur. 21 sierpnia 1995 w Warszawie) – polska aktorka dubbingowa i filmowa.

Od 2007 występuje na deskach Teatru Muzycznego „Roma” w spektaklu *Akademia pana Kleksa*. Zagrała także w teledysku *Bezpieczna droga z radami SpongeBoba*. Grała w serialu dla nastolatek *Violetta*.

## Spektakle muzyczne

* *Akademia pana Kleksa*
* *Aladyn JR*
* *Mikołajek i inne chłopaki*

## Ulubiony dubbing

### Seriale animowane

* 2007-2015: *Fineasz i Ferb* - Izabela Garcia-Shapiro

### Filmy projektowe

* 2019: *Fineasz i Ferb - Film 1: Słoneczne dni wakacji* - Izabela Garcia-Shapiro
The Day When the Sun Rises in the West (GAM50)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***The Day When the Sun Rises in the West*** is the story of a group of Muslim friends who constantly meet up with each other in places from *Call of Duty* where they talk about whether or not the end times are happening, and then the end times either happen or don't happen—it's not clear. That's the entire movie.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we watch another selection from Christian cinema, because moving wasn't quite enough to satiate my masochistic tendencies.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you ever thought to yourself "I wonder what the kids of the people who made *International Guerillas* are up to these days?", we *found out*. It's this movie: fifty percent eighth-graders using their mom and dad's camcorder and fifty percent fatwa. I *loved* it!

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: ...subtitles. [Like reading Eli's notes.]
* Eli: ...comedy shenanigans. [With cartoon sound effects.]
* Noah: ...foley art. [Why would you add sound effects for *that*?]
* Eli: …looking actors. [An extended "Looks Like…"]

### **Notes**

* Fifty episodes into the series, we have the first Muslim movie on GAM, following up the "mini" review of *International Gorillay* (1990) on *The Scathing Atheist* episode 114.

### **Jokes**

* [Noah: I watched that over and over again. You know—and I think maybe the audience will relate to this more than Heath or Eli will—but you know how sometimes you're jacking off to a porn and it's just—you can tell it's about to get too fucking weird but you're almost there so you just keep going back?] [Heath: I do *not* know what that's like.] [Noah: I didn't figure you would.] [Eli: I very *much* do. When you get surprise poop? I'm you're like, "Nope. Sorry, I was having fun but I don't wanna—"] [Noah: Yeah, exactly. So you—] [Heath: I just play through. ]

### **Interstitials**

* Explaining the Subtitle Quality (6:16)
* Eli Needs to Go to the North Pole (57:31)
* Quantum Anal/Outtakes (1:29:45) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Addicted to Porn
* Alcohol=Bad Guy
* And Then the Apocalypse/Rapture Happens
* Behind on the Rent
* BRIAN! (Fuck You!)
* ~~Christians~~ Muslims Don't Know How the World Works
* Deathbed Conversion
* Flashback to Shit We Just Watched
* Looks LIke…
* Make Me a Sammich!
* Name That Movie!
* Not ~~Christian~~ Muslim Enough
* Pearl Clutching
* SEXISM!

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: Fuzal's flashbacks eventually helped him win a million dollars on a trivia game show.
* Noah: ~~Muhammad~~ fucked kids.
* Eli: The daughter went on to sneeze in public, so her father stabbed her in the chest.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on Patreon
* Episode on YouTube
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb