General Kilgore

"*I love the smell of dead hillbillies in the morning" -* General Kilgore

Kilgore in extinction

Hillbilly Killer

Sinner (by the hillbillies)

Cowboy (by Mark Johnson)

Drunken psychotic prick (Samantha Guy)

Dragonborn (in realm TESV)

Alice Kilgore (Mother)

Johnathan Kilgore (son, died 1916)

Steven Kilgore (bastard son)

Samantha Guy (daughter)

Sibylla Kilgore (daughter)

United States Army

United States Marine Corps

Canadian Armed Forces

Kingdom of Simp Land

John Robert Kilgore Jr. (born 19th August 1844) is one of the highest ranking Generals of the 6387th Division, who are also known as the Black Devils.He is one of Jack Guy's most trusted friends. He is also best friends with Lieutenant Carter.He currently operates from 2 diferent realms: Realm LS-5. which is Los Santos, and Realm FC-5, which is Hope County, Montana, U.S.A.He is the hillbillies' most wanted individual, and their mortal enemy, followed only by Pedo God.
He has killed more than 500,000 hillbilles over his entire life.

## Birth to Civil War

John Robert Kilgore Jr. was born on 19 August 1844 as the only child of John Robert Kilgore Sr. (born 1820, died 1863) and Alice Kilgore (born 1821, died 1887).He lived on his parent's farm since his birth until he was 19.When he was 13 he was milking the cows and decided to taste test their milk, and unknowingly drank from a bucket which contained Cocky's semen.Since he consumed Cocky's bodily fluids, he became immortal and didn't find out much later.When he was 19 he was drafted into the army and forced to fight in the American CIvil War, which his father was a general in.He also met his best friend, Lieutenant Carter during the war.During the Battle Of Gettysburg, he witnessed his father's death and decided to fight Hillbillies as long as he could.During the battle he was shot in the chest and presumed dead, but since he drank Cocky's semen as a child he was immortal, and revived 3 seconds later.This is how he found out his immortality.At the end of the battle he was made a general due to his heroic efforts and for having the highest kills in the battle, with a whopping 257 confirmed kills.

## 1866-1886

After the war was won and with everyone celebrating, General was celebrating and went out into an alley beside the bar he was in to take a piss.While pissing he witnessed a woman, which was his future wife, Abigail Kilgore, getting robbed by a hillbilly.He quickly punched the hillbilly in the face and got shot in the process.He revived 3 seconds later and shot the hillbilly in the back, saving Abigail.He invited her for a few drinks to the bar and they chatted away the rest of the night.He would be friends with her for 5 months, and after confessing his love to her, they started a relationship and got married a year later in 1867.Soon after their son, Johnathan Kilgore, was born.3 years later in 1870 they had a daughter named Samantha.They lived happily on a farm they built in Northern California for many years.Then in 1886 while at their farm, some surviving hillbillies from the war raided the farm and killed Abigail.This caused General's hate of the hillbillies to increase even more.He set out to track them and hunted them relentlessly for 2 years.Along the way he met a woman named named Sadie Lancaster, and they fell in love.They had a son together, Steven Kilgore, but never married.The morning after impregnating Sadie General felt guilty about having betrayed Abigail so soon after her death, and so he left Sadie and never came back.He finally came across the hillbillies which had killed Abigail and killed them all.After this, he felt overcome with guilt and a feeling that he had wasted his time, because killing the hillbillies hadn't brought back Abigail.This is when he started heavily drinking and would develop a drinking problem that he still has to this day.

## 1890-1916

After the Hillbilly hunt, he went back to his farm and became a miserable Old drunk.His drinking habits are what caused both of his children to cut off almost all contact between them and him.He quit the military and just drank.He would get so drunk he would sometimes wake up in another state and have to walk back home.This continued for many years until 1914, when the First World War started.He decided to rejoin the army since he had nothing better to do.He was reinstated as General and would command many battles like the Battle Of Verdun and The Battle of The Somme.He would even fight alongside his men instead of hiding in a bunker beneath the trenches.During one of these battles was when he encountered his son, which had turned to the hillbilly side after coming back home and finding his father to be a drunk.General Kilgore was forced to kill his own son, an event which scarred him mentally even more and made him drink more.

## 1925-1939

During the Interwar period, General moved to Hollywood and purchased a large mansion there.He then would famously collaborate with bootleggers during the prohibiton and smuggle hundreds of thousands of litres every month.He would then drink 200 bottles a day and one time ended up passed out on top of the Statue Of Liberty, with no recollection of getting there.He would also frequently drive drunk and wrecked many expensive cars he owned.

## 1939-1945

At the outbreak of World War 2, General Kilgore once again fought in the war.He participated in many famous events like the D-Day landings and many others.His performance in this war was however a bit lackluster, as he would fight drunk and sometimes would pass out on the battlefield mid battle.He would then wake up and find dead bodies.One of his many adventures in the war was in 1942, when during an offensive againts the Nazi Hillbillies he drank 30 bottles of liquor and passed out.While his squad was killed he was mistaken as a dead body.He then woke up 40 minutes later and follwed the Nazis' footprints back to their base, where he brutally massacred and killed all of them.The soldiers General fought with all said that he was the most reckless and dumb but also the best at fighting while drunk.

## 1945-1963

During the after war years he continued heavily drinking and also began to indulge in other activities such as having sex with a lot of prostitutes and destroying liquor stores when they were sold out of his favorite type of drink.He was never arrested due to him being the war's most decorated hero.By this point his alcohol tolerance increased dramatically and was now able to drink 500 bottles a day without passing out, where as before he could only drink 100 and would pass out.

## 1964-1973

When the Vietnam War broke out General instantly travelled to Vietnam to fight.He would say many years later that those years in 'Nam were the best he ever had.He would kill entire squadrons and wipe out entire outposts of Northern Hillbilles by himself.He was frequently seen along with Lieutenant Carter killing Hillbillies.He once was in a helicopter crash and was forced to fight all the way to the extraction point, along with the Lieutenant.He instantly liked the jungle battlefields due to their climate and hiding spots, which he would use to his advantage and ambush hillbillies.He withdrew in 1973 when the U.S also withdrew but joined the 6387th Division shortly after.This is the period when he would become the Hillbillies' mortal enemy, as he killed thousands of them during the war. it was also during this time were he mate the dangerouse man know as the old man. he wouldnt know this at the time but the old man actully time travaled back to this time

## 1974-1980

After returning home from Vietnam, General Kilgore would go back to drinking and his usual routine.He would move to Los Santos in mid 1974.But he moved there in the worst time possible:The Pedos and hillbillies had just started escalating their conflict and starting to cause chaos in the city.General would have to deal with hillbillies more and more as the years dragged on, when finally in February of 1980 the hillbillies captured Fort Zancudo from the 6387th Division.This caused the Devils that were operating in Los Santos to go into hiding to avoid getting killed by hillbillies.They also suffered heavy casualties and the event would come to be known as the First Battle Of Fort Zancudo.The Devils would be forced to remain in hiding until the late 2010s.The Hillbillies also took over the city entirely by killing the swat and police and establishing the hillbilly police.General and his men would be forced to move to the Sandy Shores Airfield and established it as their main base without the hillbillies knowing.

Also in 1981 he contacted his daughter Samantha to reconcile with her.She however didn't forgive him because of his neglect of her and Johnathan, and also because he was a "drunk bastard".General begged Samantha to forgive him, but since he was too drunk he grabbed her wrist too hard and was hurting her, so James Guy intervened but General punched him in the nose and told him to "mind your own business", James got up and fought General, who lost due to being heavily intoxicated.He knocked General out and dumped him beside a dumpster.He woke up beside the dumpster and went to the nearest liquor store, where he bought every single bottle of whiskey available and drank them all.He then returned to Los Santos.

For more details, see Second Hillbilly War.

## 1980-1990

After the invasion of Los Santos General and his men would operate in the shadows from Sandy Shores Airfield.During this time period is when General would execute a lot of successful operations against the hillbillies, like Operation Alpha and Operation Poppycock.Most of the time however he would indulge in drinking and pass out frequently.

## 1991-Present

In 1991, General was sent on a mission to Costa Rica in order to fuck over some hillbillies who had traveled there.He carried out the mission successfully, but then decided he liked the country, so he stayed afterwards instead of going back to HQ.He went to the jungle and decided to try and live there like a tribesman.When he returned to his campfire from gathering sticks, he saw a baby T-Rex looking up at the bag of meat he had tied on a tree so no animals could get to it.The baby turned to him, and they looked at each other.The rex didnt seem hostile, so General walked to where it was and untied the bag of meat.He fed it to the baby, and it happily accepted the meat.He decided to keep it as a pet, and he would name the baby Kronos.They spent 2 months in the jungle together, hunting and gathering much like early humans had.General eventually had to return to HQ, so he brought Kronos along with him.There he would train him even further, with Kronos becoming a formidable killing machine.

General would keep operating in the shadows until early 2019, when he would battle a group of tryhards and come out victorious.The hillbillies noticed he wasn't dead and started sending men to try to kill General.They would fail however and he would steal intel to fuck them over.He is still fighting Hillbillies to this day, and preparing for the Final Battle which The Prophecy speaks of.

In early 2020 he decided to go to Hope County Montana, which was infested with Hillbillies.With Lieutenant Carter's help he liberated that realm.

Also in mid 2020 he was betrayed by Pedo God and was sent to Pedo's torture realm, Pedo Land, along with Lieutenant Carter.After spending a few weeks there sabotaging Pedo God's realm, he and Lieutenant Carter managed to beat the Ender Dragon, thus enabling them to travel to Pedo God's Castle.They went there and found Pedo God, who had manifested in the form of a random horse.After forcing him to go back to the overworld, they forced him to open a portal back to Los Santos and then locked him in a bedrock chamber deep beneath The White House.Pedo God remained there for a few days but then Lemon Man exorcised Pedo God's soul from the horse body and travelled back to Los Santos.There he deposited the soul back into Pedo God's normal body.

In early 2021, General, along with Lieutenant Carter, was exiled to Simp Land.They arrived there and managed to barely survive on their own, due to there being many dangerous creatures like dinosaurs and other people.When Belle Delphine rose to power however, she drove away all the other people, leaving only General and Lieutenant behind.Shortly after the Old Man would show up and start fucking up the Island.General managed to build huge bases and establish some semblance of order, becoming a knight of The Queen.He would spend his time there breeding dinos and helping raise the children, and carrying out the queen's orders.He also met Riley Reid there, and he would become friends with her.They also started an occasional relationship.He met Lana Rhoades as well, whom he would start dating after he helped raise Lana's Spino babies.General exiled himself due to growing annoyed of the queen's bullshit.He took some of his pets and also Lana and Riley with him.During his exile he would grow closer with them, and would start to become softer again, no longer so withdrawn and closed off from other people.When he returned he made a plan with the old man and Lieutenant to overthrow Belle Delphine.They carried it out successfully and locked her in the jail.General would have been the next in line, but instead chose to make Lana and Riley the new rulers.After spending some time there, he decided to grab some people and travel to Realm E-11.He brought Kronos, Riley, Lana, Smaug and some of his kids, Crocodile Dundee and his famliy, among some others.While using the realm teleporter however, it malfunctioned due to someone ejaculating on it, and accidentally brought more dinos than intended, scattering them across the land.

### Time in Realm E-11

When he arrived in the old man's realm, he wasted no time and built a base in the abandoned city.After that he decided to not stay too long because the old man would know he was there and potentially go to annoy him.He went out and explored the city, finding and bringing back the others who had been displaced.He travelled outside the city and to the Winter Dome, were he found others there.He built a base near an old fort, and stayed there for a few more days.On the 11th day, he gathered all his stuff and everyone, and travelled to Valguero, another realm.

### Retirement

When he arrived in Valguero, General looked around for a suitable base spot and found it atop The White Cliffs.He established a base there, and went to find more of the stray dinos that had been scattered.He then travelled to Crystal Isles, where he was planning to finally settle down,only to find it empty.He travelled to Ragnarok, only to find it empty as well.Then he made the decision to stay in Valguero.He started breeding dinos, and also raided a Deinonychus nest and stole their eggs, and hatched them to raise the babies as his own.He also built a base at the northern area of the realm, and a huge treehouse in the redwood forest.He also found an island near the middle of the realm and named it Rex Island, and moved Kronos and his family so they could live there happily.He also established a Deinonychus/Raptor place where they could go to live there.One day he was hunting for food when he was attacked by a wild raptor.He managed to fend it off but lost his left hand in the process.After getting back to his home base, he used scrap metal and some of Cocky's technology to make himself a new robotic hand.He liked it better than his old hand, due to being able to crush hillbillies skulls with it. Then suddenly one day, he threw his tracker and cell phone in the lake, and he hasnt been heard from or seen since then.Rumors have been spreading of him being sighted in Los Santos driving Lahey's car around commiting crimes, but they are unconfirmed.It is also rumored that he is planning to marry Lana and Riley, and have children with them.This is also unconfirmed.

### Final Appearance

His last sighting in public happened on March 16 2021, when he was sighted in Realm RDR-2, along with Lieutenant Carter.They killed hillbillies and got drunk, and then General left again, allegedly returning to Valguero.

### Conspiracy Theories

There are many conspiracy theories rurrounding General's vanishment, the most popular one being that he has married Lana Rhoades and Riley Reid.This theory was later proven to be correct, with General having married them on April 12, 2021.They were seen around Los Santos occasionally for some days, but then weren't seen again.The other theory is that General was kidnapped by Slim Shady and is being held captive.This theory is very sketchy and flawed, due to Slim Shady being the one who fabricated this theory, probably to get something he wants from the army.

### The Return

General returned from retirement one last time to fight at the Battle Of Little Valley, bringing along Lana and Riley. After the 6387th Division's victory, they returned to Valguero.After some weeks, everything seemed to be normal again, but then one day Lana heard on the news that Realm FC-5, aka Hope County, had been nuked and that just now society was beginning to reform itself, but some hillbillies were killing innocents.She was angry about this and told General about it.He initially just told her that the rest of the military would take care of it, but then she told him how they were busy with the poooollls in Comod.He asked her what she wanted him to do, and she told him to go there and to liberate it again, just like he had done it the year before.He agreed and went to retrieve his old knight armor.He then called Lieutenant up, who also had "retired", and he agreed to go with General.He left the girls in charge of feeding the other dinos and thus set off to Realm FC-5 again.

### Return to Valguero

After liberating the realm again, he headed back to Valguero and was received by Lana and Riley.He decided to celebrate, and so had a huge party with fireworks and shot off guns, drank big time, and had a big fuckfest with Riley and Lana.The next morning he awoke and found that he didnt have a hangover surprisingly, but both the girls did, so he decided to let them sleep in all day and he would take care of feeding and maintaining the base, since they had done it for him in his absence.Whilst not in regular duty, he still ocassionally would travel to Comod to fight poooooolls or go back to other hillbilly infested realms to help kill them.He would also still take decisions regarding important military campaigns and actions.He however, was waiting for a plan of his to be set in motion: the day he finally gets to kill the Old fucking bastard, Slim motherfucking Shady.

### The Big Plan

General devised a plan to finally get rid of the Old Man for good.His plan was to lure him back to Simp Land using the pets he had forgotten there, and also by offering him his old armor and the golden gun.He would make Lieutenant Carter meet the Old Man, and then make him walk to a spot where General could then snipe him from afar.They started preparing to set the plan in motion, but were interrupted when the Old Man sent his forces to try to take Simp Land.They partially suceeded and took Belle Delphine with them, but were eventually driven back by the troops from the 6387th division that were stationed there.To make matters worse, Carter had been taken as prisoner but later released due to the stench of weed emanating off him being too strong.They dropped him back onto the beach, and then he had to recover for about 2 days due to the gunshot wounds he had sustained during the battle.The plan was further delayed due to Slim Shady apparently being cursed by Davy Jones, so General had to go and retrieve the trident of Poseidon, and used it to kill Calypso, who had been the one who had cursed the crew of The Flying Dutchman.After killing her, the curse was lifted, and thus Slim Shady was made mortal again.General tried to get the Old Man to go the Island, but he was too much of a pussy and so General resorted to plan B.He grabbed Slim's gun, which he had forgotten there, and shot Belle Delphine with it.Then he framed Slim Shady for it, and when Cocky found out, he snapped his fingers and finally killed the old cocksucker.General was angry that he hadn't had the chance to kill the old man, so he killed hillbillies to take out his anger.

### Role in Endgame

When the Federation and Hillbillies attacked Valguero, General fled to safety and encountered Riley, who was then killed right in front of him.He managed to make it through a portal with some injuries, and was taken to a base to recover.After he recovered he went on a mission to recapture the Island from Hillbillies.After suffering heavy casualties, him and his men eventually managed to recapture it with reinforcements from the KSAF.After that, they headed to Valkrieg to an abandoned Casino to kill the Gold DIgger.It turned out to be an ambush however, and Carter, Daniels, and Lawrence were killed in action, and Reiben presumed dead.He had to choose between saving Carter and Lana, and so he chose to save his wife and let Carter get shot by hillbillies.The one good thing to come out of this whole operation was that they managed to retrieve a box with intel inside it.When they arrived back at base they opened it and found Cocky the Alien's severed head inside, which meant that with Cocky dead, everyone who had his blood inside them was no longer immortal and were able to age normally again.At this revelation, Kilgore had a mental breakdown and nearly strangled Alex Ramirez, but was stopped by Mark Johnson.He then went on a drinking spree unlike any other, downing 500 bottles of Whiskey in just 10 minutes.Then he passed out and woke up in a bed later.He then made his way over to Lana, who was also recovering after the casino indident.There he started experiencing hallucinations of Riley and Carter, who had died due to his incompetence and choices.Then Lana revealed to him that she was pregnant with his child.He was overjoyed at first, but then remembered that Riley was dead, and so decided to get drunk before he suffered another mental breakdown.He travelled to Los Santos with Mark and Alex to finally assassinate the gold digger for real.They managed to clear the building and found her, but a fight ensued and she stabbed Kilgore a bunch of times, gravely injuring him.When he woke up later and was discharged from the hospital, he contemplated his life, and started to feel like committing suicide, because he came to the conclusion hat his life was just a series of failures which led to other failures.He went back to Los Santos despite it being dangerous due to the war, and began drinking heavily and driving around in Lahey's old car which he found at Mirror Park.He started hallucinating more, seeing Riley and Carter all over the place, and dreaming that he was back in Vietnam, and reliving the worst moments of his life.He would often lose control and lash out, going on violent drunken killing sprees across the city, and exploding cars and shit.He realized he wasn't okay and decided against returning to Lana, for fear of hurting her during one of his violent outbursts. For 2 months he drove around drinking with no purpose, taking on illegal jobs, working for smugglers and drug dealers as a mercenary, until Mark arrived to retrieve him, on behalf of Lana.He didn't want to go back at first, fearing that his now extreme PTSD would make him harm the people he cared about, but then he accepted and went back to Lana.They went back to Simp Land, since Valguero was in ruins and still in the hands of the Hillbillies.

### Return to Simp Land

When he got back at first he didn't really do much, except care for the dinos and go on exploring trips or drinking, trying to distract himself so he wouldn't snap and cause destruction.He would frequently pass out and sometimes wake up in random places, such as one time when he woke up naked on the beach with an empty liquor bottle.Lana would always end up waking him up and finding him.After a few weeks of this, Lana had had enough and had a lengthy conversation with him.He seemed uninterested, which annoyed her, but the reason for this is that he was trying to keep himself from exploding and getting angry.She got more increasingly violent, telling him that instead of being a sad drunk, he could get up and fix the Island, since due to his absence and his drinking it was starting to become run down and neglected.Then he said to her "you don't know what i've been through", to which she got even angrier and told him that yes, she did know, because she had been by his side most of the time.She kept on getting more angry, until she finally went to slap him after he dismissively said he would go feed the dinosaurs at the jail someday.He however caught her hand in middair, and he couldn't help himself anymore and snapped.He started gripping her harder, which hurt her.She told him to stop, and he angrily threw her on the ground.He started yelling at her and smashing bottles and breaking things, and even fired his gun a couple of times.Then he stopped and realized what he had done, seeing Lana on the floor crying, and their cottage all disorganized and with broken bottles everywhere.He went to Lana to try to help her up, but then she screamed, "GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU DRUNKEN PSYCHOTIC BASTARD!!!" He then left the cottage, and walked aimlessly in the jungle for hours, not knowing and not caring where he was.He started hallucinating again, seeing Riley running through the jungle, and imagining that the trees were moving and screaming.He eventually started running to get away from them, but then he came across a bear, who attacked him and brutally mauled him.The bear and him fought, and Kilgore managed to kill the bear, but he had gotten injured in the process, and passed out.He awoke in the morning in a lot of pain, barely able to move.He managed enough strength to crawl away, and inspected his injuries, which were mostly on his back, and legs.He treeated them with a combination of herbs he collected and techniques he had learned from the military.During his recovery, he stayed in the jungle, living like a caveman, hunting animals for food, and surviving in the jungle.After he had fully recovered, he was walking around when he stumbled across an old abandoned temple, which had engravings of some knights and some big battles.Then the idea occurred to him to help Lana expand Simp Land, and so he went back to their cottage.He saw Lana wasn't there, so he waited until she came back.He waited for 10 hours, and he realized something was wrong, so he set out to try to find her.He looked all over the island for several days and nights, not able to find her, when on the 5th day, he was walking around near the middle of the island when he spotted her.He found her lying against a tree, seemingly awake.He then realized she looked really skinny and starved, her skin was paler than usual, and her eyes were unfocused and dazed looking.He shook her to get her attention.She turned her head slowly to look at him, and then weakly told him to go away and leave her alone.He didn’t however, and walked up to her to ask her what she was doing in the middle of the woods.She just told him to go away however.He resisted, and then apologized for the earlier incident at he cottage.She ignored him, and told him to go away once more.He kept asking her questions, like why she had run away here, and why she looked so skinny and pale.She didn't answer him, and instead slowly got up, and started walking away from him.He kept telling her to come back, but she just kept walking away.Eventually, she collapsed, and Kilgore ran to her.He picked her up, and then she looked at him."John? Is that you?" "Yes Amara, it's me." Then he carried her all the way back to their cottage, where he nursed her back to health for several weeks.During this time, they bonded again and became even closer.After she had recovered, Kilgore finally asked her why she had starved herself and gone out into the woods.Then she told him that after he had left the cottage, she thought of all that had happened and had gotten so sad that she contemplated shooting herself, but then she decided to just starve herself and the unborn baby to death.She went out into the forest and didnt eat for a week, which was when Kilgore found her.She then broke down in tears,and John held her and calmed her down until she fell asleep in his arms.He carried her to the bed, and they both slept.The following morning when they awoke, they had breakfast and after that they had an intense and passionate sex session.When they were finished, they promised to each other that they would always have each others' backs no matter what, and that they would stop sitting there all depressed and actually do something productive.

### Expansion of the Kingdom

The next few weeks General spent repairing the rundown buildings and tending to the dinos.After that, he then had the idea that Lana should become a much more active ruler to make Simp Land an actual serious kingdom, and so they could actually fight on their own and not have to rely on other allies as much.Lana gave an announcement to the people of Simp Land that the kingdom would be undergoing a series of restructurings in the following weeks.After that, she got the last remaining simps, Simp Samuel and Mike Hunt, and cloned them to produce a new and improved Simp Army. Then she established The Protectors of The Island, or Queensguard for short, an order of the most skilled warriors, that would serve under her command and help her manage the kingdom.She named General the grandmaster of the order, and recruited other dinos.She recruited Kronos the T-rex, who had previously been one of the knights of Belle Delphine, Steve Hackett,a Sarco, Bonecrusher the Baryonyx, Simba the Shadowmane, Ajax the horse, Ylron the dragon, his grandfather Ancalagon the Black, Bomber the otter, and Audrey Hepburn the Tapejara.Then she comissioned the construction of a massive castle for her and her knights to inhabit.The castle was completed a few days later.After everyone had settled, she then sent her knights across the omniverse to try to gather assets and troops to join her army. General travelled to some far away realms, and eventually stumbled across a medieval realm, Realm 9-B1YO20.The people there were also a kingdom, but their king had recently died, leaving no one to rule over them.They were on the brink of ruin and starvation.Then Kilgore arrived and convinced them that he would give them a new home and a new ruler to serve.They agreed and thus they became the new army of Simp Land.They brought back with them their equipment, like swords, suits of armor, shields, and many other things.After the army was assembled, Kilgore then suggested to Lana that she give him and her army permission to go on crusades to expand the kingdom's domain and reputation.She agreed, and so the Simp Army, along with The Protectors, set out to find a realm to conquer.This would mark the beginning of the Simp Crusades, which would turn Simp Land from a tiny Island kingdom into a multi regional empire in the omniverse.

## Ragnarok Crusade

General and his newly appointed fellow knights travelled with their army to one of the neighbouring regions, Ragnarok.He had been there before, but it was all deserted and devoid of wildlife.When he went there however, he was surprised due to there now being wildlife again, and the region being ruled by an idiot called William Stark, who was a distant cousin of Tony Stark, and great grandson of Bran Stark.General initially tried to negotiate with William peacefully, but William was a dick so he told General to “shove your negotiations up your stupid ass” and told him to leave.General thus had no choice and decided to declare war on William.For 2 months they fought a series of battles, with some great victories and some defeats sometimes.It all came to an end at the battle of The Sand Dunes, when Williams army met General’s.The battle lasted for 7 days, but finally the Simp Army managed to get the upper hand and slew the enemies.General arrested William and brought him before Queen Lana Rhoades, who gave him a choice: to be executed, or to serve her for the rest of his life.William being a dick however, called her “a cheap whore with a loose cunt”, and so General beat him severely, almost to the point of death.Lana made him stop however, and decided to brainwash him forcefully.They threw him in a cell and tortured him, until they eventually broke him and renamed him Varys.They force fed him some spino juice from the obelisk, and now he could transform into a spinosaurus.After that, it was like he was reborn, and he now followed the queens will no matter what.After the conquest of Ragnarok, General decided to make Ragnarok the capital of the Simp Kingdom, and so began a lengthy campaign to build bases and castles.He also started recruiting more knights and soldiers for his army, and even let some of his old Dino friends from the Island join The Protectors.After that, General travelled to William’s old castle in the swamp, and in the dungeons he discovered a Yutyrannus who used to be prisoner.When General asked him what his name was, the dinosaur replied with “I am nobody, I’m merely the kings dog”.Genral looked beside the door, and saw a sign that said the prisoners name: Lars Ulrich.General asked him if Lars was his real name, and the Dino said that the only reason people called him by that name was because he had eaten a human named Lars Ulrich a while back, and that’s why he was imprisoned. General told him how William was king no more, and so Lars asked him who ruled now.General told him of Lana Rhoades, and so the dino offered to serve the new ruler.General accepted, and let Lars out.They travelled back to the newly constructed Ragnarok Regional Penitentiary, where he introduced Lars to the Queen, Lana Rhoades.She was initially not impressed of him, and assigned him to be a mere guard at the prison when the old man gave himself up and was imprisoned.One day the old man escaped thanks to his admin powers, and so the Queen commanded General, Lars and Thranduil the megaloceros to hunt the old man and bring him back.They started looking, and eventually found him trying to tame a Gallimimus so he could escape.General killed the animal from horseback, making the old man fall to the ground.He begged and pleaded to be let free, and offered Lars a lot of gold in exchange for him to turn against and kill General and Thranduil.Lars rejected the offer, and told the old man that he only served the queen and no other, and then proceeded to violently tear him apart and eat him.When they arrived back at the prison and told the queen what had happened, she was impressed by Lars’ achievement, and so she knighted him and made him a member of the protectors.She then commanded General and Lars to go hunt some rogue simps who where still loyal to Belle Delphine, and so they went off to kill simps.For 2 days and 2 nights all they did was murder Belle Delphine Loyalists, and then they returned.From that day onward, Lars gained his nickname, “The Hound”, due to his hunger for simp meat, for his brutal and savage way of hunting them and killing them, and due to him obeying commands no matter how dangerous or hard they are.

### Forming an alliance with Slim Shady

After a few weeks of being in Ragnarok, the old man started to cause trouble like usual, so the Queen decided to punish him.All the other times he had been to jail and done time, but this time the sentence was harsher: he was to be stripped of his admin powers.General took Slim’s powers away using an ancient console left behind by Cocky , and banished the old man.Some days later, the old man being the gay retard he is, begged to be allowed to be knighted.The Queen declined and instead made him a servant, assigning General to watch over him.After a few weeks, Lana granted the old man the title of Lord of the Ocean, which was really just to make him believe that they trusted him.

### Plan to destroy the Federation

One day while brewing beer at the prison, the old man suggested that they kill the federation, and General asked how exactly he thought they would do that.He then told him that he would get a time machine, travel back to London 1982 in realm 6262626, and take over their nuke supplies.General decided it wasn’t such a bad idea, so he assembled the Queen’s council and told them the idea.The time machine would be acquired from Los Santos.Cocky had left one behind, hidden somewhere in Los Santos.They didn’t know where it was, so they were going to go to Pedo Dutch to ask him for help.Pedo Dutch had secret spies in the hillbilly army, and they could get the location from them, since the hillbillies knew where the time machine was hidden, they just couldn’t operate it because they didn’t know how.They couldn’t even open it, because Cocky had left advanced security systems in place that killed anyone that wasn’t authorized to use the time machine.In order to solve this problem, they would use Belle Delphine, Cocky’s girlfriend, to deactivate the defence systems.Once they travelled back to England 1982, they would bring the British queen to simp land and execute her, since there could only be one true queen, and that was Lana Rhoades.The queen approved of General’s plan, and so she gave the green light to set the plan in motion.After everyone else was gone, General and Lana spoke in private, and agreed to betray the old man and kill him once they had seized the English nukes.The plan was delayed indefinitely however, due to the old man suffering a stroke while having sex with a male stripper and having to be put in the hospital in intensive care.

### Adventures in Skyrim

While General waited for the old man to recover, he decided to go to Realm TESV, also known as Tamriel.When he arrived there, he went to the province of Skyrim.He went to a bar to get a drink, but when he arrived there he saw a hillbilly disguised as an Imperial, and the hillbilly recognized General and started taunting him.General got mad and got and punched the hillbilly in the face, starting a huge bar fight.It went on for some 20 minutes, until some other Imperial soldiers arrived and broke up the fight.They arrested General, and sentenced him to death when they found out he had beaten the disguised hillbilly to death.They sent him to be executed, but just as he was about to have his head chopped off, a dragon attacked and started killing everyone, which gave General the chance to escape.He managed to get some weapons, and managed to retrieve his realm teleporter.He decided he liked that realm, so he travelled back home to Los Santos and retrieved some armor and weapons he had hidden away.He retrieved an ancient suit of armor, and a bunch of weapons, which used to belong to one of his ancestors.He then remembered that on his old farm back in California, he also had some things stashed there, so he went there.He found it had been abandoned for many years.He went to a huge oak tree which was in the center of where he used to keep his animals back in the day.He grabbed a shovel and started to dig, and eventually he hit something hard.He took the chest out, which was covered in mold and was very old.He opened it and inside he found 3 swords: a silver one handed sword named Aetherius, a steel sword named Requiem, and a two handed great sword named Chrysamere.Aetherius was an ancient sword, which dated back to the 1000s, and had been passed down from generations through his family.Requiem had at one point been King Richard The Lionheart’s sword, and Chrysamere also dated back to the crusades, and was at one time owned by King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem, who had gifted the sword to Tybalt Kilgore, an ancient ancestor of General.Chrysamere had also been passed down for generations through his family, but it was lost in the 1800s and sold to a museum.General’s father, John Kilgore Sr., was the one who had finally found it again, in a museum in Europe.He stole it and brought it back to the USA, where he showed it to a young General and promised him one day it would be his.General still remembered that day, and smiled to himself as he thought to himself: “ *I finally get to use these swords all these years later.About time.”* He took the swords and travelled back to Skyrim, where he would get tangled up in some sort of prophecy , with people claiming he was the true Dragonborn, the one who would slay all the dragons and restore peace.General just played into it for fun.He would return every night to Ragnarok to be with Lana, and would spend certain weeks with her.Then he’d go back and continue fooling around, fighting monsters and humans, killing dragons, learning magic, and doing stupid stuff like getting drunk and starting bar fights.He also got involved in the civil war between the Empire and the Stormcloaks.

### Characteristics

General is very fond of war and any sort of violence in general.Over the years he has become desensitized to war and violence due to being exposed to it so much, that nowadays he actually enjoys it and even compares it to feeling as good as having sex.Since he was a teenager he has been fighting hillbillies and going through tough times, which over the years has made him develop psychopathic tendencies and also sometimes insanity.To cope with this he turned to drinking liquor.This only amplified the problems however, but he didn’t care regardless.He also loves his job as General a lot, and is brave and caring towards his soldiers, despite calling them nicknames and ridiculing them sometimes.He will fight alongside them instead of sitting somewhere safe far from the action, unlike other military officials. On the other end is his caring side, his fatherly and loving side that was suppressed by the many years of guilt and anger that he suffered due to the hillbillies murdering his first wife and tearing his family apart. This side is rarely seen, but it has more recently surfaced when he was in Simp Land and helped raise a lot of baby animals.He also became more caring and opened up when he met Lana and Riley, and behaves very differently when he is with them than when he is alone.He still likes to behave wildly and make rude jokes however.He enjoys drinking (of course), shooting hillbillies, driving muscle cars, listening to music and spending time with his wives in his free time.