Rowley stops brushing his teeth

222. It was a Tuesday morning, and Rowley had managed to sleep in by a mere two minutes. His mother, frustrated by his tardiness, smacked his bottom in an attempt to rouse him from his slumber. Unfortunately, the attempt was in vain, and Rowley remained unresponsive. Growing more exasperated, his mother decided to take more drastic measures. She reached for a pin and, with a heavy heart, gently pricked Rowley's closed eye. The pain was enough to finally awaken him, and with tears streaming down his face, he ripped off his Shrek the Third pajamas and descended the stairs, completely disrobed, to have his much-needed breakfast.

As Rowley sat at the kitchen table, absentmindedly spooning plain oatmeal into his mouth while gazing into the distance, his father sauntered in. Spotting his son in this peculiar state, his father couldn't help but burst into laughter. For a solid 8 minutes, 52 seconds, and 35 milliseconds, Rowley's father pointed and laughed without restraint. Eventually, as the laughter subsided, his father reminded Rowley to brush his teeth before leaving for school.

Eager to please, Rowley dutifully grabbed his toothbrush and applied a dab of toothpaste. As he began brushing, he couldn't help but notice how mundane and time-consuming the process seemed. His mother, with her brusque efficiency, washed his face and got him ready for school. She even managed to stuff his snack into his bag and surreptitiously sneak his lunch money into his ear, ensuring he was prepared for the day ahead.

Arriving at school, Rowley bid his mother a cheerful farewell and hopped out of the car. He entered his classroom, where a captivating show-and-tell session was about to begin. Much to his surprise, Kim Jong-un, a fellow classmate, had brought along two hens born from the same egg, conjoined at their hindquarters. The sight was both fascinating and bizarre, captivating the class.

Unfortunately, the teacher was less interested in Kim's display and instead focused her attention on Rowley's tardiness. With a condemning shout, she declared, "He's two minutes late! Detention!" In an impulsive move, the teacher swiftly opened the cupboard, filling it with two liters of water, three boring books, coloring pages, a loaf of bread, and a pot for Rowley's use. She then securely locked the cupboard, ensuring Rowley could not escape until the end of the day.

As Rowley sulked in the confined space, he caught a glimpse of his beloved emotional support teddy outside through a small gap in the cupboard. Helpless, he watched as the other students, who harbored resentment towards him, kicked and shook the cupboard, adding to his misery. Realizing that the teddy's presence was providing him some solace, the teacher decided it was not enough to punish him adequately. She proceeded to remove everything from the cupboard, including the food and water, tape Rowley down so he couldn't move, and instructed everyone to vacate the classroom for the remainder of the day.

Despite the confinement, Rowley managed to stay awake due to the forced consumption of Pepsi. His eyes were taped shut to prevent tears, and his mouth was sealed to silence any attempts at storytelling to himself. The hours dragged on agonizingly, leaving Rowley dehydrated, famished, and desperately needing to relieve himself.

Finally released from his torturous captivity, Rowley made a solemn declaration to his parents that he would never brush his teeth again. He presented an argument, citing the two minutes it took him to brush his teeth as a waste of precious time. His mother, concerned for his dental hygiene, suggested making an appointment with the dentist. However, his father chimed in, informing Rowley that he was banned from all dentists for life.

With a newfound rebellion against oral hygiene, Rowley's breath quickly took on an unpleasant odor. In an attempt to mask the smell, Rowley relied on mints filled with sugar, exacerbating the problem further. Before long, his once-pearly whites turned pitch black, even though these were his permanent adult teeth. His father, amused by the transformation, couldn't help but laugh, but his mother, quick to rectify the situation, urged his father to punish himself by placing his face on a hot frying pan.

In a twist of fate, as Rowley sat at the dinner table one evening, trying to devour a plate of mushy peas too hard for his weakened teeth, they all fell out. His father laughed heartily at his toothless condition, but his mother, in a rare moment of compassion, suggested they acquire false teeth for Rowley. Coincidentally, they spotted Hans Moleman walking down the street, and seizing the opportunity, they relieved him of his false teeth. These newfound dentures meant that Rowley no longer needed to fret about brushing his teeth or avoiding sugary treats. He gleefully indulged in a diet consisting solely of sweets, chocolates, and crisps.

However, the consequences of this reckless diet soon caught up with Rowley. He developed diabetes, a condition that drastically limited his dietary choices. Despite the challenges he faced, Rowley remained content with his decision to forgo tooth-brushing, as it had initially brought him such freedom. And so, with a mouthful of false teeth, Rowley continued to savor the sweetness of life, fully aware of the risks and consequences that accompanied his choices.