If Seasons Were People

***"Is it because I’m black?"* — Black, "If Colors Were People"**
This content has mature content that may not be intended for minors or it may be offensive.

**Note**: Cider means a reference to beer.
This page was last edited on December 10, 2023, at 6:12:22.

## If Seasons Were People

What if the 4 seasons of the year were roommates?

### Director

Frank James

If Seasons Were People is the fourth episode of If Things Were People.

## Plot

Summer gathers the other seasons and tells them they have been making the house a mess. Summer tells her they aren’t all that clean as Spring. Spring tells her that not all of the seasons are on a perpetual vacation. Winter says she can clean, but then covers the floor with snow. Spring tells her covering things with snow isn’t cleaning. Winter asks it doesn’t. Autumn tells her it is pretty. Winter says it kills every living thing. Summer asks if she always has to take it to there. Spring tells Autumn that she’s the messiest and also says shes been dropping leaves everywhere, Autumn tells her it is fun and says everyone loves it. Spring tells her they don’t and says they have to rake the leaves. Autumn tells her she can jump in a pile of leaves. Winter tells her she can hit her head and break her neck and die or hiding under them and get run over or fall and die in a hidden hole. Summer asks Winter if she can save the death stuff for later til she is blacked out. Autumn tells her she can use a spiked cider to take the edge off. Winter tells her she’ll stick to hot chocolate. Spring tells her sugar is the last thing she needs and gives examples of Christmas cookies and valentines chocolates and tells her she is bore-line diabetic. Summer tells her why she goes crazy. Winter tells her they are jealous because she got so many beads. Summer sarcastically tells her they are. Winter tells her darkness, death and sugar are her only comforts. Spring tells them they have to handle on the grocery store situation. Autumn asks what she’s talking about. Spring tells Summer when she went to the store, she only bought ice cream. Summer adds waffle cones to the list. Spring yells and asks how are they supposed to eat nothing but ice cream. Summer tells her “Welcome to my world”. Autumn tells Summer she can take a page out of her book. Summer mimics Autumn and says she brings a lot of food and wears a trippy sweater to cover her muffin top. Autumn tells her she is rude and tells her it’s called leaving something to the imagination and judges her bathing suit and says she wouldn’t know anything about it. Summer tells her she is guily. Autumn tells Spring everyday is not Thanksgiving and tells her she doesn’t need to get mac and cheese, sweet potato pie and green bean casserole and a butter broiled turkey day to day. Autumn tells her she is stocking up. Everyone stares and stays silent til Autumn tells everyone she’s shocking up for winter. Winter questions her. Summer tells her when she goes out to buy groceries, she came back with nothing. Winter tells her it is not true and that she brought back bird seed. Summer tells her they are not birds. Winter tells her she likes to feed the birds so they don’t starve to death. Spring tells everyone they’re phone bill is through the roof and asks if anyone wants to fess. Summer tells her she signed for a expensive international data plan in her 3 week trip. Spring says it’s typical and Summer does an oopsie and says vacation brain. Autumn tells her the only thing she uses data for is gramming pics of latte art and says shes streams football on her phone every Saturday. Spring tells her to watch them on TV. Autumn tells her she likes to watch the game at the pumpkin patch. Winter says she has been using her data Face-timing for her boyfriend. Every season gets shocked when they heard and asks she has a boyfriend. Winter agrees and says yes, she also tells them he’ll be here any minute. Holiday comes in the room and the other seasons get shocked. Holiday sings “Holiday season” and welcomes them all. He also says Winter told so much about the other seasons. Every season gets shocked. Holiday says he and Winter got tickets for a sleigh ride. Winter says it is nice and says they hope they survive. Holiday tells everyone to be a good cheer and sings one part of Jingle Bells and says Winter and Holiday will be snuggled up like two birds in a feather. Winter tells him she loves birds. Holiday tells Winter to come to the sleigh ride. Winter tells the other seasons if she doesn’t make it out alive, then she tells them to not touch her stuff. Summer tells the other seasons they are a weird couple. Spring says Winter is so dark and needs the happiest season to balance her right. Summer asks her why she said it like that. Spring questions and Summer tells “Hap-Happiest” season. Spring tells her it’s what people say Autumn wishes she can go on a sleigh ride and says the only thing her boyfriend wants to do is dress up in costumes and go door to door begging for candy. Implying that her boyfriend might be Halloween or Spooky Season, or Halloween Season. Autumn wants to complain to him that they were adults and says it’s embarrassing. Ending the episode.

## Characters

* Summer
* Autumn
* Winter
* Spring
* Holiday

## Trivia

* Autumn’s boyfriend might be Spooky or Halloween Season.
* This episode is the fourth episode due to their being 4 actual seasons of the year.