Episode 143

"*Grilled cheese sandwiches are secretly sentient beings that control the Earth!*"
— TJ's take on TVC.
**Episode 143** is an episode of Drunken Peasants. In this rousing addition of Double Penetration, Benpai reveals his new Yaoi graphic novel, Benpai notices Tentacle-chan. TJ's fetishes are getting more specific at a dangerously rapid pace. Scotty eats a wet carrot and quietly ponders quantum bipolarization at a multi-universal level and it's effect on Logan's string theory.

## Highlights

* Paul's sick beats.
* Butt King throws in the towel AGAIN.
* TJ becomes a tool of the Illuminati.
* A drunken, rambling Sandy Hook truther.
* Gail's continued madness.

## Videos Played

1. Drunken Peasants Animated: Vigilant Trolling
2. How To Suck a Dick Properly (can't find)
3. Brett Keane Leaving (can't find)
4. I tried rapping, try and put this to a beat
5. Hope is both a Curse and a Verse.
6. Vigilant Christian Vs Trolls Video Series (TVC Answers The Trolls & Questions for Subscribers)
7. Is Vegan Gains A Fucking Psychopath?
8. Conspiracy Law Update: All FINANCIAL ACCOUNTS need government approval
9. joejinkyvideo - $25,000.00 CASH REWARD for Irrefutable Proof that Sandy Hook was REAL

## Start of the Show

The show began with the peasants showing a video of DP: Animated. They later went into shilling their clothing merchandise.

They then got Paul's Ego on the show and worshiped him and his jowels. Which was followed by a Troll or Not a Troll segment about some guy who doesn't know how to suck dick, the peasants concluded he a was an obvious troll.

Next up, an old Butt King video about him leaving YouTube. His boring ass basically said it was the end of him on YouTube and that he had left a life time of quality content. Of course we all know he has already came back and quit again like 8 times.

After that they played The Beast's inaudible mumble rap you could not hear a thing because the Beast's jowls muffled his voice. To compliment the shitty rap, they then played Paul's rap which sounded like Eminem if he had down syndrome and was being strangled by an electrical cord.

Next on the chopping block was some pro-Israel conservative Christians trying to justify modern day colonialism. The peasants found the cartoony graphics of the video to be distracting and stupid. TJ compared their explanation to bad fanfiction.

After that they play a Vigilant Christian video, Mario is discussing his trolls and how they just need god and he said when he hits the grave he will rise up again. He sounds more crazy and insane with every word he speaks in this video, on top of being an insufferable smug cunt. TJ was then banned from the podcast forever for being a Satanic tool of the Illuminati. But the Illuminati made Ben bring him back.

## Middle of the Show

They then went into the CraigsList segment and read out a bunch of creepy personal ads. Paul encouraged the world to lick his sweaty balls and pits. Then some hippy piece of shit who thinks vegans can do no wrong, the peasants then went on a small tangent about upcoming guests.

Next Gail Chord Schuler reveals herself as the conspiracy law president. She reveals a lot of her men are considering bankruptcy. Ben can't tell the difference between sex robots and Jesuit clones.

Then a video is shown about some piece of shit who made a $25,000 cash reward for anyone that can prove 100% that the Sandy Hook shootings actually happened. He not only claims it was an act, but also that nobody was even shot or harmed during the event. He goes on to say the whole event was constructed by the evils of Baraq Hussein and the liberal media. Because this old fuck was so boring, they decided to speed up the video. Revealing that the man in question is actually a cartoon character. Paul goes on such a big, loud, and enraged rant that his jowls shake the very foundations of California, finally breaking it off from the continental US.

## End of the Show

Paul and TJ then went to take a piss. So it was up to Ben and Scoopy to support the show. They talked about a top ten list on WWE before moving into the Stupid Ads.

The first product shown was FlipJacks. Which was advertised by a murderous talking pancake. The commercial is actually Satanic, and Paul reveals himself as a demon. Next up was an ad for some lame shit called Magic Pens. With a surprise appearance from Denver the Last Dinosaur. After that shit, a product that helps you make delicious cancer (also known by the common man simply as eggs) appears. It's basically just a dick pump for eggs.

Next up was some shitty device called the Stream Machine that let's you play your cell phone's music in your shitty old car. Paul concluded it's just a product made to rip off stupid old fucks. Next up was perhaps the stupidest ad yet for a kid's product called Jacket Packit Pets. It's just a stuffed animal that's also a sweatshirt, Paul pointed out any kid wearing this shit would be a social pariah.

## Trivia

* TJ sucks ass. That's not us saying that either. It's confirmed.
* They are accepting submissions for intros to the stupid ads and craigslist segments.
* Paul came instantly after appearing on the show.
* Paul can rap pretty well for a white dude.
* Paul chokes on shemale cocks.
* Paul loves craisins.
* TJ was banned from the show forever. But Ben was forced by the Illuminati to bring him back.
* Some people in the Live Chat regarded this as one of the best episodes of DP because of Paul's ranting.
* TJ and Paul take almost the same exact amount of time to piss.
* The Peasants said that Paul and CC should have a rap battle

## Quotes

* *"For years now... I've be a paid shill of... the Illuminati."* - TJ after realising he can't keep up his lie forever.
* *"Oh! You rape us! You fuck us so hard"* - TJ channels his inner Asian woman.
* *"Vigilant Christian is a Jesuit and that's why he spreads those lies."* - Ben reveals the truth about TVC.
* *"Would they have rednecks in the future?"* - Ben.
* *"Wanna fill boiled eggs with runny dukey?"* - Paul's take on the Egg product.
* *"I would knock the bottom out of Gail, dude."* - Paul's Ego.
* *"..I dug up my children and put them on your front yard, can i get my 25,000$ now?.."-* Paul's Ego on SandyHook Guy

 Episodes

**Guest:** 148 • 150