TRP: Goro, Hansel, and Mishka (Headlock)

Lina:

[Setting: Drunk Night on the Sugar Glider]

Goro periodically pinched his own cheeks to make himself
look flushed, and he tried to stumble a little as he walked. He'd been drunk
several hours ago. He still remembered well enough.

He walked past Hansel and Mishka standing by the railing.
Paused to take in the scene, because it was something. Mishka, burrowed under
Hansel's arm in a cloak, half-asleep. Hansel looking like he might fuck up
anyone who looked at them cross-eyed. Then again, that part was nothing new.

Goro snorted. Opened his mouth to make a snide remark about
the two of them.

Then thought about how fucking nice it had been to just hold
Nixie for a few moments. God. Fuck. Damn it.

The snide remark vanished before he even knew what it was,
and his shoulders slumped.

Izzy:

By this point Hansel was decently sure that it would be a
very bad idea for him to try to save anyone from drowning, but he kept watching
the crew anyway. Wasn't like he was going to fuckin' move from this spot with
Mishka dozing next to him. Well, maybe if someone actually did fall overboard.

Goro, though. The motherfucker had been wandering around
acting like he'd been drinking, but if Hansel knew anything, it was drinking,
and Goro was faking it. Didn't make him any less of a little shit, though, and
as he was passing by the two of them, Hansel caught him stop and seem to start
to say something with a smirk, but then deflate.

Well, that was odd, for him. Hansel felt a bit bad for him.
Usually did, when he thought about Goro, actually. And currently he was too
drunk to care that Goro might complain about it, so without considering it even
remotely the amount he should have, he reached out with the arm not around
Mishka and dragged Goro closer, putting him in something that was sort of like
a hug but also slightly like a headlock -- one he could get out of if he really
wanted to, probably.

"Hey. Goro." He said it lowly, in an attempt to
not disturb his husband. "Question. What the fuck's the matter with
you?"

Lina:

Fuck. Fuck. He should've gotten drunk for real.

He endured Hansel's... hug-thing. Not like he could've
gotten away without stabbing the guy.

"Where should I start, buddy?" he said. "You
want me to make you a bulleted list? With categories? How about a binder, with
tabs."

Izzy:

"Sure. You seem like a guy who might have one of those
ready to go."

Lina:

"Alright. You gotta let me out of this headlock first.
I'll go grab it."

Izzy:

Hansel laughed. "Good plan. Nah." He shifted to
make it a bit less uncomfortable, though. At least physically. "Listen,
dipshit. Mishka likes you, and Nixie likes you, so I'm inclined to think you're
not the fucking worst." He paused. "Actually, I already thought you
weren't the fucking worst. But you sure seem to like acting like a fuckin'
asshole. What's up with that?"

Lina:

A smile crept across Goro's face. Now Hansel was speaking
his language. Maybe getting the whole crew drunk on occasion wasn't such a bad
idea.

"Good question, Hans. Good question." And he
realized he didn't have a suitably assholish answer. "Just how I am, I
guess."

Izzy:

"Don't fuckin' call me Hans." He didn't stop
smiling, but his tone turned slightly darker -- then brightened again.
"Y'know, I don't buy that. Well, I buy that you act like an asshole,
because no one can fuckin' argue with that, but you're not one. So why not act
like a normal fuckin' person since we're all stuck on this goddamn ship
together, and maybe make a friend other than the two tieflings?" He paused
and narrowed his eyes. "The fuck is up with that, anyway?"

Lina:

Goro decided to ignore the tieflings comment. Hansel, that
sick son of a bitch. "Yeah, alright, how exactly does a normal person act,
then? Besides putting people in chokeholds. I mean hugs. Whatever the fuck
you're doing to me at the moment."

Izzy:

"Yeah, it's called a hug, Goro," Hansel explained
patiently. "I'm sure Amari tried to give you plenty of'em and you were a
little shit to her, too, right?"

Lina:

Fuck, that felt like getting the wind knocked out of him. He
went a little limp in Hansel's hold, and hoped like hell Hansel didn't notice.

"Yup," he said. His voice came out quieter than
he'd meant it to, so he tried again. "Yup. Sure was." Still too
quiet. And now his throat felt tight. For fuck's sake. "Fuck you,
Hansel." Now he sounded like he was about to cry. Everyone thought he was
drunk, though. Drunk people cried easy, right? Not that he was actually going
to cry. Fuck that.

Izzy:

"Hm." Hansel nodded. "Mmhm. Fair." He
wanted to do something to make the little shit feel better, after that, but he
had no goddamn idea what. Goro barely tolerated this. "You know you have
plenty of fucking time to just not do that, though, right? We get Ripley back,
we head back to Sanctuary, you can just fucking give your mom a hug, for
fucksake. It's really that fuckin' easy." As proof, he gave Goro a gentle
squeeze. Maybe he wouldn't find that completely offensive.

Lina:

"I hug her now," Goro snapped. And a second later
added, "She's not my mom."

Izzy:

Hansel snorted. "Yeah, all right, and Ripley's not
either, got it."

Lina:

"My mom," he said, lip curling, "left me
alone in a fucking shack when I was five years old and never came back."
He felt out of breath suddenly, even though he wasn't moving. "Amari's
better than my mom."

Izzy:

"Sounds like she wasn't your fuckin' mom, then,"
Hansel remarked. "Listen. My mom didn't leave me, but she thought I was a
fuckin' monster for sixteen years. Probably still does, actually. But who gives
a shit? You got Amari. You get someone better and you fuckin' forget the
rest." He paused. "It doesn't fuckin' hurt the bitch that left you to
keep tellin' people Amari's not your mother."

Lina:

"Look." Man, what the hell was he doing? He just
kept on talking. But he couldn't let Hansel think he was winning this argument.
"If Amari really had a son, he wouldn't be a goddamn thing like me,
alright? He'd look like her, and he'd be sweet like her. And he wouldn't...
he'd never..." His voice cracked on the last word. Fuck.

Izzy:

"Goro, you dumb little shit, do you think Amari fuckin'
wants a son other than you? I met the woman for about five goddamn days and
even I know better than that."

Lina:

Goro didn't even have a chance to hold it back. One second
his whole face turned hot, then his eyes were wet, and next thing he knew he
was fucking sobbing. Heaving for breaths in between, clinging to Hansel because
he didn't have the strength to do anything else. What the fuck. He hadn't felt
this out of control since Diva possessed him.

After several failed attempts at stopping, he managed to get
a handle on himself. He wiped his face against Hansel's shirt. Got some snot on
there, too. Why not.

"You're full of shit," he said. "And so's
Amari."

Izzy:

"Aw, fuck. Okay," Hansel mumbled. He guessed that
had been a little too far, and he didn't really know what to do except keep
holding Goro through it. He'd know what to do if Jonn or Roddy or Sugar were
crying on him, but shit, this was almost outright bawling, and it was fucking
Goro. The fuck was he supposed to do with him? He hadn't expected him to break
so easily.

He patted his arm awkwardly and half-shushed him in a way he
hoped was comforting until Goro calmed down enough to talk shit again. That, he
could deal with. "Fuck off. I might be, but she's not."

Lina:

Finally, Goro wrestled out of Hansel's hold. Stood a few
feet back and crossed his arms, gave him one of his sickly smiles. "God,
man. Alcohol. Does funny things to a man. Am I right?" Hastily, he reached
up to flick a stray tear from the corner of his eye.

Izzy:

Hansel raised an eyebrow and started to call him out, but
decided to let him have it. Safety net. Fuckin' Goro. He smiled. "Yeah.
Fuckin' unfortunate you can't hold your liquor. Maybe you should get some
water. Go see what Nixie's up to."

Lina:

"Um. I, uh." Goro glanced over his shoulder toward
the captain's quarters. He could hear Nixie's voice in there, along with
Roddy's. Weird, but whatever. He rubbed his eye again. "Nah. She's...
fine."

Hang on. Why the hell was Hansel suggesting he go find Nixie?
Goro wasn't going to ask. He just scowled, a little.

Izzy:

Hansel shrugged. "Stick around, then. I promise I won't
hug you again," he deadpanned -- thought about adding unless you want me
to, because frankly you still seem fucked up. "You can think of more mean
shit to say to me. Make you feel better."

Lina:

"Nah. Nah, you're..." Goro shook his head and
rubbed his face against his sleeve. "There's only so much mean shit
someone can say about a guy like you. Asshole."

Coyote:

"I know, right?" Mishka said, still half-asleep,
eyes mostly closed. "Fucking treasure, isn't he. Can't even think of
anything bad to say about him." He hummed part of a sea shanty to himself.
"Well. Aside from the cannibalism."

Izzy:

Hansel scowled. "Eh, fuck off, both of you."

Lina:

"Yeah, that was pretty fucked up, the cannibalism
thing. Oh, and I'm still pissed about that time you punched me in the face.
Motherfucker. My jaw clicks now when I open my mouth wide." He flexed his
jaw around to make his point, even though it wasn't remotely true. It had
healed up fine, when he tended to it later.

Something occurred to him then, and he froze, glancing at
Mishka, then back to Hansel.

Shit.

Maybe Mishka wouldn't ask what the punch had been about.

Coyote:

"You punched Goro?" Mishka drawled. He burrowed a
little deeper into Hansel's arm. "What'd you punch Goro for? I told you I
liked him."

Izzy:

Hansel narrowed his eyes slightly at the cannibalism
comment, but decided to let it go. "Yeah, it was before that. He was bein'
a little shit. More than usual." He paused and allowed himself a moment of
sincerity. "I am sorry I did that, though. You didn't deserve it."
And that was enough. "Anyway, I don't hear any fuckin' click. Try
harder."

Lina:

"Ah, you know, it's hard to hear over the sound of the
waves and all. Try catching me in a quiet room sometime." He smiled and
raised one eyebrow. Then he snorted. He needed to blow his nose now, after the
crying.

Izzy:

"All right." Hansel stared him down with a mild
smile.

Lina:

"Um. Right. Well." Goro glanced at the captain's
quarters again. Looked to Mishka, who was barely managing to contain himself.
And Hansel, with his whatever-the-fuck-that-was face. "I think I'm going
to go get another drink."

October 23, 2018

Izzy:  at 12:04 AM

"Mm. Okay." Hansel glanced at Mishka. "Get
back to us when you wanna get drunk with my husband again, I guess."

Lina:  at 12:07 AM

Goro had already started to walk away, but at that, he
stopped and looked over his shoulder, eyes wide and his mouth pursed in a
silent whistle. He grinned, then continued on his way.

Coyote:   at 12:13 AM

Mishka sat up a little, watching him, eying him over. Then
turned to Hansel, and noticed Hansel was also watching Goro leave. Mishka
elbowed him. "I told you I'm not getting drunk alone with him again."

Izzy:  at 12:13 AM

"Didn't say you'd be alone."

Coyote:   at 12:17 AM

Mishka snorted. He wanted to make more comments, but they
were all deeply inappropriate. "Well, as long as I'm not alone. You can
shut me up before I say anything too bad again. You'll have to watch me."

Izzy:  at 12:21 AM

He wanted to say I'm always watching you but thought that
might be too far, and he didn't need Mishka crying on him tonight, too. "I
make no promises," he said instead, solemnly.

Coyote:   at 12:22 AM

"I mean," Mishka said, "there's always that
one really good way of shutting me up--" He was pretty sure Hansel liked
that way of shutting Mishka up. Mishka was good at it. Couldn’t talk with his
mouth full, right?

Izzy:  at 12:24 AM

"Haven't I embarrassed myself in front of Goro enough
for you?" Hansel asked, trying and failing to look grim. He cracked and
snorted.

Coyote:   at 12:24 AM

"Embarrassed? I thought you were smooth. Debonair.
Rugged. Gentle, yet firm. Commanding--"

Izzy:  at 12:25 AM

Hansel laughed. "Shut up, Mishka."

Coyote:   at 12:28 AM

Mishka laughed, too. Then sobered up for a second.
"Hey." Mishka fought with his words. "Don't, ah. Listen, I don't
want this to be a whole fucking thing, because I'm having a great night,
honestly. But-- don't call me 'husband,' Hansel. Not in front of me. Not in
front of anyone else. Not ever. It-- fucks me up. It cuts, alright? I know you
don't mean anything by it, but... I'm asking you. Please don't."

He winced. "The pet names, those are good. I like those.
I like 'ahuvi.'" He looked away.

Izzy:  at 12:30 AM

"Oh. Sorry."

He started to ask then should we just get married again? but
shut it down in time. That wouldn't be ... helpful.

"Yeah, no problem. You might have to remind me in the
morning, though," he admitted.

Coyote:   at 12:33 AM

By the morning, Mishka would be fucking weak again, and
he'd... like it too much again, or feel too conflicted, even though it fucked
him up and cut. He'd talk himself out of bringing it up. Maybe Hansel would
remember on his own, though. He burrowed deeper in the cloak. "I'll
try."

Izzy:  at 12:37 AM

"Hm. Hang on." Hansel shifted to dig into his
pockets, finding a pen and scrap of paper -- ragged, a little scorched around
the edges. He tried to hide the scorches from Mishka as he scribbled a note to
himself on the back side of the paper, but didn't do a very good job of it, and
quickly shoved the pen and note back into his pocket.

"All right. Now you won't have to." Time to
quickly change the subject. "Anyway, you were right. About Goro. He's good
enough for Nixie. They're good."

Coyote:   at 12:40 AM

Mishka tried to hide his relief. Then realized, a beat
later, maybe he didn't have to hide his relief. Still did it, though. Still
tense. He swallowed.

"Mmhm," he said. Light conversation again.
"You know, Hansel, I've been trying to teach her how to manipulate people
and seduce folks, and frankly I think I made a serious mistake. I mean, she
isn't getting it... at all... and yet somehow it's working, in a weird way, because
it only made her more adorable, which frankly I didn't think was possible. She
might be too powerful now. Poor Goro's fucking doomed."

Izzy:  at 12:46 AM

Hansel shook his head and sighed. "Ah, well. Worse ways
to go, I guess."

Coyote:   at 12:51 AM

There was silence, for a while, and things were warm, and
still. There were torches lining the deck. This was good. Mishka felt drunk,
and pleased, and warm. When he was with Diva, he never thought he'd get to feel
this way again.

"Hey," Mishka said. "While I'm drunk. And can
handle it. I've got to ask. And-- you can change the subject, if you like.
Why-- don't you want to kiss me?" Then said, briefly, afterwards. "I
won't be... pissed, or angry. Whatever it is."

Izzy:  at 1:03 AM

Hansel was quiet for a moment. He was still drunk enough
that it was hard to think, but that made things easier sometime -- clearer.
"I -- want to," he tried. And his gut said all the fucking time, but
that wasn't the case, as much as he would prefer it to be. "Listen --
Mishka, I love you so goddamn much, all right? But sometimes when you touch me
or I look at your fucking face all I can think about is what you fucking did to
me."

He didn’t know what emotion he was supposed to feel about
it. Jonn had tried to make him be angry, but it was hard to believe that Jonn
had been right-headed about anything emotional, and after the storm there had
been no one else left alive to care how he felt.

"Not always. And it doesn't -- it doesn't change
anything for me, all right? What we talked about earlier, the fucking castle
--." He smiled. "I just ... I need it to be on my terms." He
almost apologized, but caught himself.

Coyote:   at 1:23 AM

As soon as Hansel said that, Mishka felt...

... oddly relieved.

It felt tangible, and reasonable. It made sense. He didn't
know what he'd thought. He'd just thought-- well, it'd felt like Hansel didn't
fucking want him anymore, even though that hadn't been rational, which had been
driving Mishka insane, because he wanted Hansel. All the time.

"Ah," Mishka said. "That makes me feel
better, weirdly. Thanks for explaining." He thought about saying: I'll
wait, again, but decided not too. Repeating it too much. "Listen, I am
really sorry about throwing it in your face like that. I didn't want the first
one to be like that. That's why I said it-- didn't make me happy. Because you
didn't want it, and-- fuck, I don't know. I didn't even want you to kiss me, I
just wanted you to want to kiss me. Y'know? Anyway. I'll wait. I know I said
that before, I'm just-- repeating it to myself. Thanks for... not being weird
about the hammock thing."

Mishka liked hammocks.

Izzy:  at 1:48 AM

Hm. This night was going well. Suspiciously well. Hansel
glanced over his shoulder, out at the ocean, half-expecting some horrible
fucking karmic sea beast to be seconds away from destroying the Sugar Glider
and killing them all, as blatantly irrational as that was. Nothing, though.
Calm seas. Empty skies. Hm.

He wanted to say, I wanted to; couldn't you tell I wanted
to? but that seemed like it might ruin things. He'd tell him later. After this
was over -- when everything was okay. It'd be funny, then, that he hadn't
wanted to kiss Mishka when they'd had a quiet, lovely moment alone together on
the deck, but he had when they'd been in the midst of an argument. Fucking
hilarious.

"Huh. I'm ... glad it makes you feel better." And
he wanted to say I miss you sleeping with me, I miss your heartbeat but that
wasn't goddamn helpful either. He was drunk enough that it wasn't that
frustrating, though. It was enough. This was enough. "S'okay. You're still
-- there. I just want you to be there."

He moved to kiss the top of Mishka's head, then hesitated,
and dropped his head as he brought his other hand up to graze Mishka's jaw and
angle his face up. He lowered his voice, because there were still goddamn
hooligans on the deck, even if he didn't think they were being paid any
attention, anyway.

"Hey," he said softly. "I want to kiss you
now. And -- nothing else, because I fucking can't, but -- look, I promise I'm
not just trying to torture you. This time." He smiled. Tried to make it
seem ... not as serious as it probably was. "Does that -- work for
you?" He didn't think he'd ever asked permission before, out loud. Maybe
this was part of the new thing. Maybe the new thing would be fine. "It's
all right if it's not."

Coyote:   at 1:51 AM

"Oh, fuck yes," Mishka said. "I mean, it is
going to torture me, regardless. But yes. Please. Absolutely."

Izzy:  at 3:57 AM

"Well don't fuckin' say it like that," Hansel grumbled,
but kissed him anyway, dropping the arm from his shoulders down to his waist to
lift him up off his feet. He always seemed to like that -- the way Hansel
manhandled him. No one else was allowed to, and Hansel fucking liked that.

His instinct was to shove Mishka against something, trap him
between a wall and Hansel's body and give him no options but to come to him,
but the only thing nearby was the ship's railing, and he had a brief moment of
terror at the thought that he might accidentally drop Mishka overboard. So he
settled for shifting his balance to just rest Mishka against his chest, hand
slipping around to cup his neck, then thread into his hair, and it didn't feel
at all like settling. The sea air was cool on his hot skin and Mishka was warm and
flushed against him, tasting of wine and salt, his hands curling possessively
into the collar of Hansel's shirt, pressing into him, making those tiny
desperate sounds he made that only caused Hansel's fingers to dig into him
harder, clinging to him, needing him closer, fuck --

God, he'd fucking missed this. His fuckin' kid had tried to
cajole him into finding someone else, because he didn't understand -- this was
it, for Hansel. There would never be someone else. There had never been anyone
else before. Not like this.

But there were people around. And he didn't want to -- make
things worse, later, when he was sober and Mishka was sober and they both had
to deal with this night. He didn't want this to turn into something he would
regret.

He had to make himself pull back, but it took a couple
tries, a vicious whispered fuck, Mishka between attempts. Then stopped only a
breath away, still holding Mishka because his slight weight had never been any
kind of burden, always a comfort, and rested his forehead against his husband's
-- he couldn't say it, he should stop thinking it, but he didn't fucking want
to -- with his eyes closed. Everything just went away. Eldath, if he didn't
need to breathe to live, he would never stop kissing Mishka.

It took him a second before he could speak again, and when
he did, his voice shook a little. It was almost too much and he knew it but he
still wanted more. God, the idea of Mishka thinking Hansel didn't want him.
Fucking ludicrous. "You happy this time, khochav?"

Coyote:   at 6:54 AM

Mishka sucked in his breath to make a smart remark.
Something about whores, or buying a whore, and how he wasn’t waiting and would
go get laid elsewhere, or something, but now he’d lost the words— it would’ve
been false anyway, Mishka couldn’t... not right now.

He stifled a desperate noise. That’d only make things worse.

It was a good thing Hansel picked him up, because his legs
went weak. When Hansel set him down again, he held onto Hansel’s arm for
support; there was genuine possibly if he leaned against the railing he might
fall overboard. “Yes. Ah, yep. That is. That is acceptable, Weapon’s Master
Granger.”

Then, because he was afraid the remark might be... too
tongue in cheek, he cleared his throat. “Yeah, Hans. I’m happy now.” No urge to
count seven breaths in, no pinching, no looking over his shoulder for the next
Diva attack.

He hadn’t realized he could be this happy again.

[END]