The Bathroom Remodel

"The Bathroom Remodel" is the third episode of *Life With a Voice Actor* (season one). It was performed on January 9th, 2021 as the second segment of Show LXVII. It was released as podcast episode 335.

Written by Samantha Stark

Directed by Kristin Green

Previous episode: "Maisy Meets Her Maker"

Next episode: "Loyalty"

## **The Story**

In the introduction, Emily Cooper says nothing like her blowup will ever happen again, she was just a little stressed. She had a big break and then Logan Cooper got her big break, but she’s sure they’ll be another one. Jerry La Fontaine remains suspicious of anything Terry La Fontaine gives him, even if only water.

Today, the spouses gather to help Victoria Callihan remodel bathroom, which the producers hope will help them bond. Terry and Victoria huddle in corner whispering about how unstable Emily is while Emily happily paints. Terry claims to not be afraid of her, but Victoria is to the point where she doesn't correct Emily when she paints with the wrong color.

In a producer interview, Terry admits that he's afraid, too. In another interview, Victoria says she doesn't do manual labor, but since her husband, Ben Callihan, isn't getting paid as much as she'd hoped on his new gig, she agreed to this painting day if the reality show covered the costs of her construction materials. A third producer interview asks if Emily and her friends, Victoria and Terry, have gotten past their differences, and Emily says yes, and she has her temper under control. A fourth interview finds Terry saying the host from the first episode was delightful, but she had attitude problems and he's glad that she's gone.

At Fact Broke Studios, Logan compliments Jerry on his take, and Ben says he had to dig deep. But Jerry is actually crying because he doesn't trust Terry, and is starving after throwing away the food Terry cooked him. Ben suggests couple's counseling, which has worked for he and Victoria. Jerry says he'll try it and they share a group hug.

In a producer interview, Logan is asked about Terry's lemon water stunt. Logan says he tries to see the good in everyone, and Terry probably wants what's best for his husband, but he needs to let go a little. In another interview, Ben says he invited Logan and Jerry back to his place to join the spouses for ice-tea and finger sandwiches.

With all six united, Terry immediately tells Jerry his eyes are puffy and he needs to put cream on them. They all admire Emily's paint job, but Ben asks if Victoria changed the color palate, revealing Emily's mistake. Emily is hurt that Victoria didn't feel she could talk to her, and Victoria avoids the discussion, going for another drink. Terry openly says of course Victoria can't talk to Emily because she's crazy, and things get tense. Jerry scolds Terry. Victoria admits at Emily's pressing that she is a little afraid of her. Emily wants to fix this, and Logan suggests they all go to group therapy, as Ben suggested to Jerry? Terry wants to know why he and Jerry would need therapy and Victoria complains that Ben butts in too much. They all devolve into arguing.

A short time later, the producer thanks them all for coming to the group therapy session the show arranged with Dr. What. Terry isn't happy to be there, and Emily says Terry could be nice to Jerry. Terry retorts that Emily has her own issues, and Logan is his typical supportive self.

Dr. What wants to go around the room and have everyone say something nice about their significant other. Logan goes first and speaks of Emily always coming through for him and everyone. A touched Emily returns that Logan is very loving; sometimes she forgets that and she shouldn't. Ben likes that Victoria knows what she wants, while Victoria says she likes that Ben knows that about her. When Dr. What pushes her, Victoria admits Ben is a talented actor. Ben wasn't sure she still thought that, and she says his earnings prove others still enjoy his work. She then reluctantly says she loves him. Jerry compliments Terry's cooking, and Terry asks why Jerry won't eat it anymore. Jerry admits he is concerned about poisoning. Terry says he would never do that, he loves him, and says Jerry has the patience of a saint. Terry appreciates that Jerry stands by him, even when he's a bit much. Dr. What is pleased.

Dr. What then says he's seen tapes of the show and the tension isn't just with their partners. Emily takes the blame for the lack of cohesion, blaming her neediness. Since she lost her last job, she's been flailing, falling back on people pleasing. Logan says she doesn't have to feel that way, and she interrupts, saying she feels stuck and jealous and sad that her friends are scared of her. Ben says he's not scared, but Terry says he is. Victoria offers to call her uncle to see if he'll hire Emily to work on his reelection campaign for Senate to give her something to do, and Emily happily accepts, touched by the gesture.

Dr. What asks what other cracks there are in the group? Terry says they do the show together, they don't have to like one another. When Logan and Jerry says they *do* like the others, Terry says why? What points out that this is Terry's life, TV show or not, and Terry says it's all a sham, with producers forcing drama. Dr. What asks why the production would have hired him if that's true? Terry said they're just giving manufactured moments as they've been instructed. Then he rants about Ben driving Victoria crazy with his weird voices and claims Victoria only said she loved her husband because the producers told her to. Terry says Victoria is a bitch with a drinking problem and unhealthy love of oversized hats. As Jerry tries to calm Terry down, Terry lays into Logan about how he must fart rainbows and that Emily is flat out crazy, the industry being better off without her. Jerry stops Terry by declaring he wants a divorce.

The producer enters and says this is the perfect place to stop for the day, complimenting them all.

## **Trivia**

* This is the first episode of the series that settled into what would become its regular format, with no host, but with an off-camera producer.
* Sam named Dr. What as a tribute to Dr. Who in *Universe Journey*, a role Chase also played.
* Ben makes a joke about Who's on Frist, a reference to a *Universe Journey* commercial about the aforementioned doctor.