New Rat City

It had been three years ever since The Rat King was sent to Jupiter to get more stupider, and in that frame of time Joseph Green was now on top of the world, or well that's what you might of thought as he was in a terrible state. Ever since 2020, Green has been lying awake at night waiting for The Rat King to come knocking upon his door, and he fears it so that he refuses to put his foot out the door at night. Green was already under a lot of fire because the fudge produced by his sugar company which advertised as a healthy counterpart to Cadbury's Fudge was found to be as pale as the whale, and this meant that Green had to put his company on hold for awhile until the time was right, for them to begin operating again. Green was also having issues in his marriage, having called out his wife Sylvia for her decision to stay at work all the time with her boss and totally not her lover Charles. Sylvia claimed that Green would really like Charles if he gave him the chance, and she tried to show this by inviting Green to have lunch with her and Charles at Aloha Fez, but the meal ended up going wrong as Charles had requested no pepper as he was allergic to it, Green headed into the kitchen after feigning a stomach ache, and he laced Charles' peri peri chicken with a big ole helping of the stuff, and Charles took one bite of the pepper and fell down onto the ground as Green not wanting to kill the bastard did a belly flop on top of Charles which caused a piece of the chicken to go flying across the restaurant and into the mouth of an old lady with a hook for a nose who remarked, "lovely party!" After this near death experience for her totally not beloved Charles, Sylvia had decided to break away from Joseph Green for awhile, and was currently staying in Los Angeles with her sister Alison much to the annoyance of her husband David who tried to look pleased as punch when he saw Sylvia and Charles standing on his doorstep, but in reality he was really annoyed because the only things he had to serve them in his fridge were a hotdog sausage and an onion. Charles also really angered David by saying that people who wore Richard Nixon foam masks should be shot, and this angered Dave greatly as he was a member of the Nixon Five who were currently under watch from the United States Government for their alleged involvement in a rigged lottery which may or may not have been spearheaded by David's client Mrs Ditkiss who waggled her finger about as she made a point. Anyways, Green was trying to cope with the moving out of his wife as he tried his hand at software programming, and tried to make his own computer game called goblins which was going to be a device used by Green to make mathematics fun and again since Mathemagic Land was closed down in 2020, and would not be re-opening for a very long time. The aim of the game was to solve the maths problems that the goblins had written on big whiteboards, and when you got all the answers right they would dance to a horrid song which sounded so bad and yet so sweet.

The website that Green had used to launch the website on had numerous bugs, and often put up a link for a game involving two chicken puppets who were sitting inside a pot of honey roasted peanuts, but don't you dare fucking click on that game or else you'll be in big trouble and you'll have to kill your computer via lethal injection. Green knew full well that The Rat King was coming to get him as he had gotten a lot of rats at night, and they would come out from their hidey hole while he laid in his hammock as he slept in a hammock now because believe it or not Green was actually very much afraid of beds, as he was scared of falling through the mattress and down toward the basement of broken dreams. Green tried to convince his dear friend General Asquith that the Rat King was returning, but General Asquith was far too busy for Green now as he become concerned with how rude the local bookstore in Crouch End was as they refused to tell Asquith where the leather bound books actually used real leather, as Asquith needed to know if they would go along with an expensive leather rug he wished to purchase. Against Asquith's suggestion, Green decided to take extra measures in order to ensure that The Rat King did not come after him. He placed a massive fence around his house which when touched would give you a nasty electric shock which would then in turn make you into a real Squidward of a man. Furthermore, Green went on to hire two Private I's and detectives for the London Police Department those being Detectives Garrity and Burke. He had ordered Burke and Garrity to patrol the slums of Hartley Dale in order to find where The Rat King could possibly be hiding. To provide further protection from the rats, Green now wore a tie that was painted in rat poison, but not just that it was also non scented rat poison which meant that not even Remy could smell it out like he had done with the smelly quiche that was almost eaten by Emilie back in the days when rats were taken more seriously than they are now. Most people called Green crazy as they believed that The Rat King was long gone, with even Garrity and Burke reporting to Green after two months of not finding anything that obviously The Rat King if he is still alive was taking his defeat by Green gratuitously. Green encouraged the men to keep trying, but merely as a part-time thing and not to press it. He was no fool however, as The Rat King was indeed very much alive and this time he was not alone he had allied himself with the devious, the odious, the most nefarious Professor Ratigan; the napoleon of crime who was also incredibly ratty for a rat just saying, and don't you dare call Ratigan a rat as he would get proper cross with you though he tried his best to hide the hate always shines through.

The Rat King hadn't spent much time on Jupiter having purchased a spaceship from a spaceman who had decided to make Jupiter his new home, as the planet was kind of boring in reality as it was almost exactly like Earth only all of the residents were green aliens with stereotypical 2009 voices, and also all the dogs shat out jelly beans much to the spaceman's disgust. Proper miserable bastard that spaceman was, as he lied in his bed in the early hours of the morning as his co-pilot Andy knocked upon his door asking him to come outside as he had won the lottery, and he also warned the spaceman not to swear as they were on national television. Upon returning to Earth, the Rat King easily found himself a new band of rat followers, and the Rat King had originally planned to get his revenge on Joseph Green straight away. He stood on the streets outside Green's house, and was about to knock upon the door pretending to be a bogus gasman when he felt the unmistakeable feeling of smokey smoke upon his throbbing shoulder. The Rat King rubbed his shoulder in disgust as he asked, "what is this?" Upon turning around, the Rat King was surprised to find Professor Ratigan just chilling next to a skip smoking from a cig as he asked, "did you miss me?" "No not really Ratigan, and do you mind I'm kind busy here bro." The Rat King but that was Ratigan spoke up again with, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, that fat son of a Lancaster has got that general living with him now. If that general sees you, he'll get the entire British Military on your ass." "So what do you suggest that is reasonable?" The Rat King asked as Ratigan gestured pointed towards a local manhole cover as he then said, "follow me and maybe you will see." Ratigan had recently lost his former hideout at the Tower of Chilly Charlie and Bappy Bob, which was back to being a lost media research facility after the military was able to once again reclaim it having won the deeds back in a raffle during an incredibly rainy day in the middle of June. Ratigan was currently hanging out in the sewers below Hartley Dale, and had converted a former Pop Up Pirate barrel into his new base of operations. Pop Up Pirate it's a barrel of fun! Anyways, Ratigan sang a song to the Rat King all about if they worked together things would be a whole lot easier. Ratigan it would appear had the entire sewer system of London under his control with a large group of ratty thugs that were loyal to him including a reptile named Bill who had been bailed out from prison by Ratigan. Bill was a shadow of his former self, and was very evil as he sneered a sneer when The Rat King suggested moving to Empire Bay as he heard rats are allowed to steal pizza from the streets though Ratigan suggested that this was just a rumour. Ratigan then pulled The Rat King outside into a small court area where he revealed that his grand plan. He also admitted that Joseph Green is small time, and that the King should be thinking of the bigger picture. "Okay, and what is the bigger picture?" Inquired The Rat King to which Ratigan responded with, "my friend don't you think it is wasteful to spend all your time hunting after one man who did you wrong three years ago, when you could instead be plotting a plot to take control of the entire country, and then once the country is under my... I mean our thumbs that Joseph Green will be crushed like a skittle on a table."

Known as the Napoleon of Crime, Ratigan had a history of criminal exploits from here to Timbuktu with some of his notable crimes including the Jammie Dodger Escapade and The Big Ben Caper in which Ratigan was able to move Big Ben an inch every day, and he did this in order how long it would take before someone batted a eye, and he managed to get the tower all the way over to Nottingham until one man exclaimed, "that really shouldn't be here!" Yes, people can often take long times to notice things, and this was something that Ratigan intended to use in his master scheme which involved two evils plan in one. He had two plans; one for the human population of London and the other for the rodent population. For the humans, Ratigan intended to turn everyone into a rat or mouse, by having the entire water supply of the city tainted with a potion which would turn whoever drunk it into a rat, and it would be horrible as the person would grab onto their head and scream for cheese as they grew a big pair of rat ears before the rest of the body transformed in an equally brutal way which would really disturb the Mickey Mouse phone that they had sitting upon their nightstand which disgusts their partner who is also angry with the Monster Inc poster in the room even though she claims to love it. Regardless, Ratigan's second plot was to take control of the mouse kingdom of the United Kingdom by upsurging the resident Queen Mouse, which you might think is the most evil thing that Ratigan has done yet, but in all honesty the Mouse Queen kind of had it coming as she got quite sinister looking when she talked about the charges and she also admired Molly Ringwald, and forced one of her Royal Guards to dress as her every day which earned the guard judgemental looks from the other soldiers. Hmm. Ratigan explained that he and The Rat King could take over London with ease. "How exactly can we take it over with ease, bro?" The Rat King asked to which Ratigan then brought out the man who could make it all possible. Dr Nitrus Brio; a peanut headed man with screws in the head who had been manipulated by Ratigan into joining the worthy cause of being a friend of the rat. Rat King was starting to think that he hooked up with a cult, and he was already wary of N Brio as he and the mad scientist had a bit of history. A long time ago, never mind how long exactly, The Rat King was a human bodybuilder named Ratso Rodent ironic and he owned a gym in North Millville, Empire Bay. N Brio was a frequenter to the gym, but he was frequently mocked because he couldn't lift the weights and attempting to do so revealed that his arms were like stringy cheese. N Brio's drinking friend Dr Henry Jekyll made an interesting point during a session at the Grand Court where he suggested that it was possible to mix human DNA with rodent DNA in order to make the ultimate rodent something which greatly angered Dr Jekyll's friend and possible lover Dr Lanyon as well as his lawyer Talon Labarthe who just looked concerned as he asked, "should I be concerned about this? About you?" Dr Lanyon used to praise Jekyll constantly about his achievements in science which angered Jekyll who really hated it when people brought up his achievements, yeah he was a bit odd that Jekyll indeed.

Back in those times, The Rat King formally known as Ratso Rodent was very freaky and allowed for the two scientists to do experiments on him, and they put him into a machine which meshed his DNA with that of 100 lab rats, and the end result was the very creature you see before you today. Built like a brick with a six packed chest, the Rat King was a force to be reckoned with though he really hated his new rat form and demanded that N Brio and Jekyll change him back. "Ooh no can do I gots to be heading off." N Brio said in a nasty tone as he hitched a ride on a truck carrying Nitro crates, while Dr Jekyll just sat on the ground defeated knowing that he had made a man a rat without even considering the fact that he didn't know how to change him back. The Rat King became disgraced his gym was closed down, but not because of him now being a rat but because all of the radish served in the canteen was giving people nasty cases of throat ass which makes you sound raspy like a claspy and yet you can sing like a tea turtle. The Rat King smiled sinisterly where he saw that he and Ratigan had Brio in their custody as he put a large metal chain around the doctor's neck as he said, "welcome home ma." Anyways, back with Joseph Green he was currently sitting in his house bouncing a paper ball into a trash can that lay in his bedroom as he awaited a phone call from Garrity and Burke who were currently following a rat named Greg who was believed to be one of The Rat King's new minions. Greg wore a pair of Mickey Mouse ears upon his head as he really wanted to hammer in the fact that he is not and will not ever be owned by Disney, and Greg headed down the streets of London plotting to nick strawberries from people's kitchens by pretending to be a man who flattens the carpet, and a dangerous one at that as they crush the hamster you've got lying down there in an attempt to hide the fact that they been smoking. Greg knew he was being followed, but he decided to lure the two Private Investigators into a false sense of security. He lured them into a damp and quite frankly very smelly alleyway which is when Burke had enough and held his badge up in the air as he yelled, "hey Greg we need to talk! We got some questions for you!" "Precisely!" Greg proclaimed as he shoved a huge block of cheese into his mouth, and he chewed on it incredibly slowly as he was busy trying to bide time until his rat friends showed up. Burke and Garrity looked at each puzzled as Garrity then asked, "have you seen The Rat King lately, a friend of ours is really missing him." "I ain't seen him in months." Greg admitted to which Burke laughed as he said, "is that so? I heard from a contact that a rodent fitting his description was seen entering the sewer with another rat of a fashionable dress sense." "Precisely!" Greg proclaimed once again, as suddenly both men were tackled to the ground by a swarm of multi coloured rats which came all from Brazil. "BURKE!" Garrity cried as he was drowned in the river of rats, while Burke just looked dumb founded as he was beaten to a pulp by Greg's enforcers while Greg just stood in the background flailing his arms about in order to show the rats how they should be conducting the beat down. Greg had a score to settle with Joseph Green as he was responsible for Greg's best friend getting killed, and without his friend and his recipes Greg a rat of very little brain and culinary skills it meant that their restaurant Ratatoing had to close down, though the restaurant really closed down because the owners of the human restaurant next door who had incredibly bendy legs decided to finally go and see what goes on over at Ratatoing.

That same afternoon, Joseph Green was arrested while heading into town to get a pizza from a pizza shop which also sells toilet seats that are laced with spikes which is done as a way to prevent old people from destroying your toilet with their Walt Disney shits. Green was thrown into the back of a paddy wagon by Officer Ran who asked, "have you seen my son?" "What's going on here? You've got no reason to treat me like this?" Green asked as he put his face right up against the door of the patty wagon. "No reason? No reason!? First, the business with that Mario game, and now this? All hell has broken out in the city and it's because of you! Two fine officers of the law were confronted by a swarm of rats, and guess what now they're in the hospital." Officer Ran barked in the harshest voice an officer of his calibre has ever yet used. The hospital wasn't very good either as the doctor operating on Burke...well it was his first time performing medicine so he was very scared and so he smoked a massive amount of weed before going into the operating theatre. He hadn't even bothered to put Burke under, as Burke was still very much awake during the surgery as he cried, "hey I'm still awake! I need to be put under!" "Let's see if I can still make a straight line." The whacked out doctor said as he attempted to cut a line through the top of Burke's head for some reason. Poor ole Burke! He should have gone to the shoe police! Burke could have gotten away from the rats, but his shoes were old and smelly if only he had Nikes. Hold on what are you making? Sorry about that, Green was put into a cell by the very rude Officer Ran which he had to share with Ran's son Fred whom according to Ran had allowed his eyes to become ignorant and he was teaching Fred a lesson. Fred had become friends with a group of disagreeable men who encouraged the young walnut whip to rob from Taco Bell, the very first one to open in London. A rotten taco was dripping down the side of Green's top bunk, while Fred sat on a toilet letting one rip as he admitted, "I think I ate something bad." "Yeah clearly." Green muttered as he grasped the metal bars with his hands as he said, "I've made a huge mistake." Meanwhile, The Rat King heard about Green's imprisonment from Greg, and he grinned ear to ear as he realised that the master plan of Ratigan's might just work. "So what now?" The Rat King asked Ratigan who told the King that was time for a cruise. "You what?" The King asked dumbfounded as he was then forced into a tourist outfit by Ratigan which included a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, a hat, and a pair of sunglasses. The King and Ratigsn then headed into the local port in a car where they had N Brio placed into the trunk, they were stopped at the crossroads by a police officer but they were able to buy the officer off by giving him a vanilla ice cream which the officer ate in slow motion while the two rats and their captured scientist made their way up onto the ferry who was going to be going all around London, and would make a rest stop in the middle of the Thames which is when the Rat King and Ratigan would have Dr N Brio pour his chemical human rat formula into the water which cause everyone in London who drank from their taps to become rodents, and once that was done they would have no choice but to join Ratigan's cause as let's face it no one is going to hire them if they're rats.

For the time being, both rats had to blend in with them attending a shuffleboard competition, where no joke the Rat King crushed an old lady to death because he jumped on top of her from in the sky while trying to make what he called a grand move. I'll be honest, I didn't really care if they ruined this particular cruise ship as the captain was the most patronising piece of man I've ever seen, as while dining in the dining area the Rat King and Ratigan still decked out in their tourist disguises were horrified to see the Captain singing about how they didn't have much time left on the cruise and how the patrons should enjoy it while they can. "Enjoy it while you can." The captain sang. After doing the little song, the captain did a bow and a little twirl like a girl as he made his way into the sauna room of the boat which had no one else inside of it. The captain found it a little odd that no one else was in the sauna with him, but he shook it off and sat down on a bench when a shadowy figure loomed over his exposed chest. The captain opened his eyes, and saw Greg standing there but before the captain could even react the green rat had shoved a scolding hot rock right into his chest. The captain didn't seem that bothered as he remarked, "oh my that's a bit warm." He finally died when Greg revealed that he couldn't stand the French Reindeer for what they did to his great grandparents whom Greg had never met. His great grandfather loved one of the reindeers who claimed that they wanted to be bipolar as she came from the North Pole and he from the South. The other reindeers didn't take kindly to this, and the two star crossed lovers were forced to part. Oh, and Greg's great grandfather died after he crashed his limo into a bus terminal trying to find the remains of his wife's stolen hot pot recipe. Greg's great grandmother was a human who insisted that things were very different last Summer, and in order to stop the Cartel from finding out about her hot po recipe she tore it up and threw it down the lane which became a problem as she had short term memory loss, and this meant that she no longer had the knowledge to make the hot pot recipe. Greg loved that story, and asked for his great grandmother to tell him it every time he stayed over at her condo in Arizona. "What again!?" Greg's great grandmother would ask in an incredibly patronising tone as Greg asked to hear the story about the great hot pot recipe for the 5000th time. Sorry, I didn't realise this wasn't called Greg's Story, in any case the captain loved the French Reindeer having played track with them many chilly Christmas Eves ago, even longer now than it seems. So sad. Santa Claus had crash landed on top of the captain's apartment roof, and instead of delivering the presents for the recently knocked out Santa like he said he would do, the captain proceeded to busy himself by playing a game with the reindeer, and upon hearing that his beloved reindeer comrades were not liked by someone it caused the captain's face to melt off like that scene in Raiders Of The Lost Ark. We could get a copyright claim for that you stupid captain. With the overly patronising cruise captain disposed of, Greg left the sauna only to get flirted with by a camera man named Wade whi had a real thing for Greg. Greg told the man to go away as he had a lot of work to do. Greg had become a different rat ever since his friend Marcell Toing had died during the attempted rat takeover of 2020, and though he blamed Green for the death he failed to realise that Joseph Green had nothing to do with it.

Back above deck, Ratigan dropped one of the life boats into the water, and on his orders the Rat King began rowing towards the centre of the river. "Hey, since when are you the one giving the orders?" The Rat King asked confused as Ratigan responded, "shut your mouth, and do as you're told!" The Rat King grabbed a hold of Ratigan's neck, and sneered at him as he yelled, "you wanna say that again buster!?" "Temper." Ratigan laughed as he showed no fear, and instead laughed off the threat as the boat finally reached the middle of the Thames River. N Brio without so much of a sideways glance or second thought poured his chemical formula into the water, and he had done this without hesitating, because Professor Ratigan had promised Brio full credit for making the rat human hybrids. N Brio failed to realise that he should have not trusted the wily Professor Ratigan, and the Rat King should have realised that too when Ratigan revealed his true nature as a backstabbing son of a gun who revealed that he had no intention to give N Brio any credit who made the scientist very angry as steam blew from his nose and it sounded like a kettle reaching it's boiling point. "Why don't people take me seriously?" Brio asked in despair as he held his face in defeat. Realising that he obviously couldn't take on Ratigan in hand to hand combat, Dr N Brio tried to cheat by drinking one of his potions which was meant to turn him into a hulk like creature with immense strength, but instead after drinking the potion Brio's head became red and he made a weird sound as he proceeded to explode into a jumble of yellow and purple colours before all that was left remaining of him was a pair of sneakers. Don't worry though as he'll back as Charlie would say. Brio always comes back, even when we don't expect him to he always does. Ratigan stuck his gloved hand into the water, and smiled at it as he said, "and now we wait." Back on the main land, General Asquith was having a cup of tea with a lady of great importance Mrs Ditkiss who was currently providing additional funding to the army, and had been one of their primary backers ever since the death of Snowden, but that's a story for another day. Asquith hated Ditkiss as she was very rude, as she pretended to be nice but then got proper sarcastic as she made a point about how she didn't want to be rude, but Officer Ran (who was also in Mrs Ditkiss' house to provide extra security) never should have been allowed to become a police officer as she claims he came from a family without class. Officer Ran was about to bring up the point that his great uncle had helped cultivate Riker's Field for Mrs Ditkiss' father back in the 1800's, yes indeedy ole Ditkiss was a proper old bag and she also had one heck of a chin boy. Asquith made a cut throat motion which convinced Officer Ran to hold his tongue as he knew that although Asquith hated the old crone, he really needed the money to keep the army up and running otherwise a green man who hides in the trees will kill him for his failure. General Asquith had a particular fear of trees ever since he heard a rumour of one of his soldiers getting kidnapped as he hid next to a tree by a green man who took the solider with him across the sea to become a sea dog. It was a very hot day, and General Asquith got himself a glass of water. He sipped from the glass, and smiled confidently, but that was when an unpleasant feeling entered his gullet.

A secret massive fan of Taylor Swift, General Asquith tried to shake it off as he sat back down in the sitting room as Mrs Ditkiss revealed she wanted Asquith out from the high horse and she wanted her ex husband Angelo Bronte to run the army. Angelo Bronte was a big shot mob boss from out of town, but Mrs Ditkiss like so many others were fooled into believing that Bronte was a chef. He wore a head net at all times in order to keep up the façade. Asquith could not understand a word that the old lady was saying, it was complete gibberish to him as the room became encased in a weird array of colours and safety nets. Asquith fell to the floor in pain as Mrs Ditkiss just stood there confused as she asked, "oh, General Asquith what should I do? Do you want me to sing knick knack paddy whack?" What the fuck is knick knack paddy whack? General Asquith's face grew whiskers, his ears became soft and fiurry, his eyes became black and soul less while his uniform burst off from his body as he was now a rat. A massive humanoid rat who still could talk, and the voice sounded like the general's albeit slightly distorted as he asked Mrs Ditkiss, "are you going to print this information?" Mrs Ditkiss who had been sipping on a cup of tea suddenly fell onto the floor as she too was starting to change into a rat. Officer Ran had refused a cup of tea offered to him upon entering the house, and this meant he was safe from becoming a rat for now anyway, Ran realised in that moment in that shining moment that Joseph Green was an innocent man, and that a greater force of evil was at play here. He put his cap on, and he left the house caring not a button for the darkness. Officer Ran down the streets all the way towards the local prison as it was time for his audience with Joseph Green who was not going to be very pleased to hear that he had been framed, though Ran could probably soften the blow to Green by revealing he intended to put his framing clip onto the show You've Been Framed, well he'd try as the show would no doubt refuse the clip as You've Been Framed is very rude and will only accept clips that make them laugh and them alone. Inside his jail cell, Green was being mocked by the guard on duty who was tucking into a sandwich laced with ham and lettuce ooh and a bit of Len, and you know how much I love a bit of Len now don't you? Indeed, I was also a victim of the M&S Christmas Fair of 2019, but that's a story for another day isn't it Paddy? Anyways, the guard taunted Green by asking in a mocking tone, "you want this sandwich fat boy? Well tough; you ain't getting it?" Fred Ran was getting annoyed as he ordered the guard to shut it, but it was no use when all of the sudden the prison walls were crashed into and broken by a fricking tank which was being driven by Officer Ran. Good ole Ran stood on top of the tank as he asked the baffled Joseph Green; "you coming buddy?" Side note; Fred Ran had tried to break the wall himself by banging on it with his head, but he just made his head hurt some bad and he probably should have gone to the doctors but he feared that doctors would say his feet are a bit wiffy as he thought that you were required by law to take your shoes off during a medical test, and Fred Ran suffered from unfortunate food odur of the worst calibre. He also had serious IBS, so you know that wasn't the best of combinations. Green and Fred Ran made their way out from the prison. After leaving the prison, Green immediately made his way back into the station where he stole the guard's sandwich right from under him. Green didn't even like ham nor the way it stuck to the bread, but he really hated that guard and decided to eat the sandwich regardless of that fact.

Officer Ran led the pair up towards the train station as he revealed that Ratigan and The Rat King were taking over a train which would take them to Buckingham Palace. On the side of the Palace, there lay a mouse hole which is of course where the Queen Mouse was located as there was a completely separate kingdom for rodents like mice and rats. Officer Ran turned to face Joseph Green as he said, "you'll get need an extra gun." "Okay." Green said in a dumb tone of voice, suggesting that he believed Ran's plot to take over the train from Ratigan to be a very half baked plan at best. Still, Green revealed that an extra gun was not necessary as three was already enough to stop The Rat King. They paid a visit to an old farm where they hitched a ride on a horse belonging to a man who gave them the horse who was red like the Ferrari for FREE, and all he asked for return was one gumball. So, it wasn't for free then was it? Green nearly bloody killed the horse as the poor thing fell down onto the ground, and struggled to get back up again likely as a result of Green's weight. Joseph Green like some kind of Silver Surfer declared that he needed to do this on his own, as he made his way down the tracks as he got ready to leap on the train where he would confront Ratigan and The Rat King were said to be dining on scones in the break room. "How do you know so much?" Fred had asked his father who despite being a man of the law was not entirely above corruption as he had helped to a crate of wine which were made at the farm as it was a vineyard and a very sexy one at that, but in any case Officer Ran explained to his son that after Asquith and Mrs Ditkiss became rats, the first thing he did was make an urgent distress call to the United States and General W.R Monger. W.R Monger assured Ran that men were being drafted in, but it could take days as the airlifts had been cancelled by a hacker who had been paid a great deal of dosh by Ratigan to stop the US military from reaching Britain. Over at Area 69, WR Monger thankfully had surveillance cameras which gave him full webcam feeds of the entire country of Great Britain, and he had been authorised to do this by the big boss not the President I'm talking about the big cheese. Mr Stilton, indeed the man who controls the States through a series of funnels. He has never been seen in person, though it's reported that he once ran a badger over while taking a ride in Michigan with his wife of 36 years who was a real uckers as Big Shaq would say. Monger advised Ran not to attack the train as doing so could cost the lives of innocent civilians, but Officer Ran felt different. There were a shortage of beverages on the carriages tonight with the only drinks being served either mineral water from the Thames or cups of tea made from the mineral water there was no coffee though as the trainlines may be a lot of things, but they ain't coffee drinkers. I don't mean to be judgemental, but coffee drinkers annoy me greatly. Sorry I was just having a real Mrs Ditkiss moment, and I swore to myself and Mrs Bush that I would never end up like her in any case Joseph Green leaped onto the speeding train, and made his way up the coach nearly getting bloody knocked off his ass when the stop signs were ridden past, but thankfully he managed to duck underneath so all was good. It didn't help that the local law enforcement were giving chase to the train as they were out for justice for Garrity and Burke, even though those two did not work for their department they considered all police officers past and present to be fellow travellers of the grave, and not some other race of people bound on other journeys. They also knew how to keep Christmas well, or so I'm told.

I really need to stop rambling and tumbling in the tumbleweed Texas style, but Green as peered down from the top of the train into the snack hall he found no Professor Ratigan or The Rat King. Green realising he had been set up, decided to wait until the train came to a complete stop at the nearby train station only to get grabbed from behind by none other than Greg. Greg pinned Green down to the roof of the carriage, and was getting ready to throw him off as he threatened him with, "you killed Marcel!" In between choked breaths, Green managed to cough out, "I had nothing to do with it. Toing killed himself with the life he lived." If you want to know about the world record for heel face turns, well get ready because as if he was suddenly taken over by a completely different green rat with Mickey Mouse ears, Greg proceeded to proclaim, "you're right! How could I be such an ass?" Greg realised in a brief flashback momento p that Marcel Toing was for lack of a better word was kind of a complete bastard. He had rats that he didn't like sent to a labatory from out of town, and no I did not say lavatory! Why you got to be so cynical? Marcel also stole food from a kitchen in the restaurant next door to his, and he even managed to manipulate a cat from the restaurant to serve as his muscle. Marcel Toing also had a peculiar love of Scandinavians, and he wanted them and only them to eat at his restaurant. Greg remember how once upon a time, Marcel Toing was an idealist who could make a stand against something, but something changed a long time ago and Greg never knew quite what it was. Greg blamed himself a little for the change maybe his reckless nature during missions had finally driven Marcel to the boiling point, and Greg really was careless as if he couldn't care less such as when he absentmindedly turned on a ceiling fan which meant that Marcel was giving a bad case of vertigo as he had been hanging onto the ceiling fan for dear life, when Greg accidentally clicked the on switch. Greg never approved of Marcell becoming involved with The Rat King, but since Marcell is his best friend he kept his opinion to himself. When the news of Marcell's untimely smelly and ratty demise reached his green ear, Greg wasn't angry he knew Marcell he knew he was quite violent with his wooden spoon, and maybe he offended someone that could be but Greg knew that someone had given the blue rat chef a little surprise. That fit in with Ratigan told him, and Greg recalling that Toing was going to be helping the Rat King with getting some fat fuck from over in Hartley Dale get over his fear of rats, well as you can imagine Greg put two and two together which wasn't very hard to, as Greg was quite the smart rat he just looked and sounded dumb which made others thing less of him. Arriving in Walnut Pass, the train came to an abrupt stop after being ordered to do so by the Sheriff of the land; Sheriff Dupree who wished to speak with Joseph Green as he claimed that he had a playdate with destiny. Greg not wanting his new friend to get taken downtown, he offered to come along and ask for a little favour from ole Dupree who despite not being a rodent was a frequent customer to Ratatoing, and because of his large size he nearly bloody caused an earthquake inside of the restaurant while trying to navigate his way towards the men's room.

Inside the Sheriff's, Green was given a sausage roll as he explained the dastardly plan of the two evil rats, but was surprised to learn that the Sheriff already knew all about it as his two deputies had already become rats, and they were currently lying in a pool of blood next to Dupree's desk as he had put two large mouse traps out for them. Walnut Pass was currently right in the middle of a massive rat crisis, and Dupree had purchased those from the pest control factory right was located right to Fort Wallace, and Dupree never believed that he would ever actually have to use the mouse traps especially on his own deputies. Green asked for some guns so that he could kill the Rat King, but Dupree walked on over to a large window which overlooked the entire town of Walnut Pass as he took a shot from a bottle of whiskey as he remarked, "son, I been around long enough to know you don't hire a saint to catch a sinner. If this Rat king is really the bastard you say he is, then when you get to pop a bullet in his skull just tell him one thing from me ya hear? Rot in a cot you son of a rat!" People all over Great Britain were turning into rats, police reinforcements were drafted in from across the country but they were helpless in doing any thing of worth. A distress call had been made to the other world leaders asking for their best men to come to the city. Zoran Lazaervic had come from his holiday in Shambala to help with the crisis. Shambala wasn't quite the utopia we'll thought it be as it happened to be the home of the Pakistan McDonalds toys including the Ronald McDonald with the extremely lanky legs and the jump scare Grimace that your uncle in Derry probably warned you about. You found his stories boring, but little did you know that there was actual meanings hidden in the stories. You should just of wept on the inside like Marta The Waitress. Lazaervic accompanied by his right-hand man Lieutenant Draza felt confident that he could stop the rats, but he couldn't have been more wrong. Lazaervic walked out from Stag's Head Airport where he was confronted by a large group of rats. The rats swarmed around Lazaervic who tried shooting at them with his double barrel shotgun as he cried, "onto the bridge!" He was referring to the London Bridge, but since Lazaervic didn't know London very well having refused a map despite being advised to take on by Draza who was the only man who was ever so familiar with Lazaervic up into the point of rubbing his goatee over Lazaervic's roast potato head during a spaghetti and meatball lunch made for the troops which would no doubt end up giving them the poops. Indeed, Lazaervic really cared about his men back then until he became obsessed with finding the fabled smurf juice after hearing it about by a pesky bee in a dream. As you might of expected, the Serbian general was drowned in the river of rats as was Lieutenant Draza, Meanwhile, people in London and surrounding areas were beginning to suffer from the water being tainted with N Brio's chemical formula.

Over at a house in Chiswick, Al and Monkey were depressed because PG Tips only longer had any use for them, but while Al had a lot of success starring in serious dramas on the BBC Monkey had big trouble and spent most of his time chasing waitresses at the local restaurant where he once had a right one after having his first taste of a pure cup of PG Tips. Al walked on over to his kettle as he asked Monkey, "fancy a cuppa?" "If you must." Monkey muttered as he read from the morning paper which was very out of date it was from 1997. Al almost drowned in 1997, after he tried to see how long he could hold his breath under water. Monkey was supposed to get Al out from the pool, but he never did and Al very nearly drowned he was saved though and was given some spaghetti by a very nice lady and the spaghetti was Sonic The Hedgehog themed, and Al has never gotten the taste of the Sonic spaghetti out from his mind. He has been searching for another can, but he'll never find it Remy he never will. Al took a sip from a cup of tea he had made twenty minutes earlier, and suddenly a pain entered his throat. He grabbed onto his throat tightly and choked out air as if he had swallowed too large a piece of veal. Suddenly, a large hairy rat was pulled out from Al's mouth as he tried to find the root of his problem. Al fell to the floor in despair as he didn't really seem that bothered by the rat, he was more concerned about the fact that when Monkey was on holiday in Gran Canaria back in the fall he never once gave Al a call, but Monkey promised that while playing a game of squash he thought of Al. The irony being that Al sucks at squash. Anyways, Monkey grabbed a hold of the rat, and proclaimed, "no way!" He proceeded to yeat the thing out from the kitchen window, and it fell on the driveway outside where it got picked up by none other than the Red and Yellow M&M's. Yellow picked the rat up right by the tail as he remarked, "yes this rat looks just like you." "No he doesn't." Red barked harshly. "Oh come on Red! Take a real close look." Yellow said as he proceeded to rub the rat's body against Red's eye which caused them to become massively infected, and the only eye doctor in town was not going to be very happy to see Red as he been flaking out of his appointments. Red knew the doctor wanted to eat him as he had purchased the pair from his local Asda, and the pair were on the menu for the world cup final party that the man was hosting. Officer Ran and his son Fred meanwhile headed to Kensington Park, and much like poor ole Zoran they too were almost customed in the river by rats. They were going to be escorted through the sewer line by a guide named Jake who knew a lot about London, but he was also a rampant womanizer he also talked far too much for my taste, he was just chewing the dog though as that's how he is. Don't mean nothing by it. Officer Ran had never been a good judge of character so he failed to see through Jake, who I could see clear as day really had his own agenda in mind for escorting the pair to Ratigan's lair. Jake lit a lamp and not the rat, as he led the Rans through the sewers and up the various pipes which were big enough to fit a skyscraper inside of, and they were that big because the Mayor was worried that if the rumours of a squid being in the sewer were true they could possibly get stuck in the pipe. The Mayor once owned a baby squid, but he flushed it down the toilet one day when he no longer had any use for it, and he can no longer use the toilet for he fears it will bite him. Some day he'll go, and when he does will you be ready?

According to Jake, he had worked for Professor Ratigan once upon a rat and was often called in by Ratigan to do a job which most rats were afraid to deal with. Jake used to be a ruthless man back in the day, but he has mellowed ever since he fell in love with novocaine. The trio reached another manhole cover which was attached to the ceiling. "Give us a boost boy." Jake said to Fred who refused to do so, and so Officer Ran had to give Jake the boost. Jake lifted the manhole cover off, and crawled up through the ceiling when he came face to face with Professor Ratigan's lair which was seemingly deserted. It was quiet too quiet indeed, but as Officer Ran made his way onto the surface brushing himself off as he did so he felt confident that he would be the one to bring in Ratigan who had been on the police's arrest sheet for years, but he always managed to slip away. Professor Ratigan suddenly let off a loud air horn as he appeared at the front of his lair with a big grin upon his face as he pointed at the baffled Officer Ran and Fred as he remarked, "you should really pick your friends better boys!" Ran then asked, "what you talking about you fat rat?" Being called a rat was normally a trigger for Professor Ratigan, but in that one instant he managed to keep his composure as he snapped his watch shut and said; "oh Officer Ran, you are silly a goose." Being called a goose caused dearest Officer Ran to lose all of the bravado that he had just put on display mere moments ago. Fred just remained impassive as he had no comment to make. He looked over at Jake who simply shrugged as he said, "the Professor made me an offer I couldn't refuse, a whole loaf of premium corn bread for me and me micey chums up at Lake Vernon." Jake craved corn bread and he was banned from the shops because he kept buying it in bulk, and he claimed it was the corn bread that allowed him to keep working as a guide for so long despite fast approaching his 70's. Jake then got on a horse which appeared out of nowhere as he said to Fred and his defeated father, "this is where we part ways friends, you two have yourselves a whoopy party!" Indeed, Jake had also been one of the attendees to the infamous whoopy party where a dog laughed so hard at the events occurring, and then two fellow patrons of the party knocked him out only for them to laugh just as bad if not worse than he did. Professor Ratigan set up the most extra death trap for Fred and his father, he had them placed onto a hoist which was to be dropped into a pit filled with worms with incredibly sharp teeth. Farmer Ernest was trying to stop the worms from ruining his harvest, as he had recently been hired by Ratigan to provide him with fresh potatoes, but he didn't know poor bastard that he was being played for a fool and that Ratigan knew full well that Ernest would not be able to get any seasonings from the soil as it was long dead as the worms were coming out the wazoo. Ratigan got into his blimp with his initial R stamped on the side of it, now that's kind of cute and Ratigan bid farewall to our heroes as he made his departure all the while singing, "goodbye so soon, and isn't this a crime?" Ratigan was getting ready to activate the second phase of his master plan, but before that he had to go and see how The Rat King was getting on.

Before going to boast about his one upping to Officer Ran, the Professor had noticed The Rat King's annoyance with how slow the plan was moving. Ratigan wore a smelly grin as he put his big meaty rat arm around The King's shoulders as he said, "go and have a little fun King, I won't stand in your way!" The Rat King then snickered evilly as he realised that it was finally time for him to settle the score with his old friend; Joseph Green. Indeed, Green had been the one that had gotten the King sent to Jupiter all those years ago, and although Green wasn't directly responsible for that it was actually the Toilet Duck, but The Rat King couldn't find the duck he was told that he was hiding in Colombia, but he also knew that it was a long standing rule in the rat world that people of power were not to be harmed in any way, and Duck was as powerful as they come so he decided that he would go after Green and Green alone. Joseph Green and Greg were just strolling down the road like it was a normal day for them, until Greg suggested they take a shortcut through an old rundown battle arena like area which is where Green had his showdown with the Rat King three years ago. So it seems it ends where it began, and things have come full circle. Perhaps you could say it's a real warriors gate? Green walked into the arena, and seemed to recognise his surroundings as he remarked, "this don't feel right." "Precisely!" Greg proclaimed as a fricking Viking looking dude with a beard came running through the arena warning the pair to look out for the rat with the mighty six pack. Sure enough, that was when The Rat King appeared and he pointed at Green as he yelled, "I told you we'd meet again Joseph Green!" "Rat King!" Joseph yelled at the very top of his lungs, as in a moment of sheer stupidity he thought it would be wise to run towards the King. Quite what Joseph planned to do once he reached the King's mighty six pack I can not claim to know, but the King laughed as he remarked, "oh the audacity of youth!" The Rat King gave a right good sucker punch to Joseph Green's stomach which sent him flying to the other side of the arena while an overly camp announcer guy could be heard yelling in the background; "suck a tribley baby!" He was a right hog that announcer! Anyways, Joseph Green recovered from the punch as he asked, "is it too late now to say sorry?" "Far too late for that I'm afraid!" The Rat King laughed evilly as he picked Joseph Green up by his suit collar as he got ready to deliver the crushing blow when from behind him he heard an all too familiar voice cry out, "precisely!" Greg now wearing a pair of ice skates possessed the running speed of Sonic The Hedgehog as he ran or I guess skated towards the Rat King who just looked like he had seen the funniest thing in his entire life. Greg used to be a roller skating waiter at Ratatoing, before Marcel had decided that roller skates were so over he also feared that the mousefolk would spread rumours about him having a shoe fetish. "Oh come now, you can't be serious?" The Rat King asked rhetorically in between massive bursts of laughter, but the laughing came to a beautiful end when Greg smashed into the sexy six pack of that large man rat hybrid, and the sheer force of the crash caused the King to go flying to the other side of the arena. He fell into a large pile of dumb bells, and he got up from the wreckage brushed himself off as he remarked, "still got a little fight in you have you Greg? I like that."

The fight went on for a good while until like some kind of Don Salieri; the Rat King had to take a moment to catch his breath, and while he was doing that Joseph Green and Greg continued their trek towards Ratigan's lair who they quickly realised was the bigger threat at this current point in time. They now knew about Ratigan's plot to overthrow the Mouse Queen having been given the details by a mouse with a severe nose injury. Defeated, the Rat King caught the seemingly deserted tube to Buckingham Palace. Once at the Palace, the Rat King headed inside the mouse hole located on the far right side of the palace which is where the Mouse Queen was hanging out. She had just finished a big plate of fish and chips when she received word that her Royal Guards wanted to see if they were holding their rifles the correct way. Once inside the Mouse Queen's room, the guards proceeded to stuff her into a Tesco carrier bag before she even had time to react. On Ratigan's orders, his henchmen took the Queen out onto the balcony where she was then thrown onto the back of a food truck which then drove all the way down the road towards the Golden Koi where she would be served in the soup which also housed the ear of Johnny Ratface who wasn't quite as tough as the papers claimed he was, but in any case, the Golden Koi would be having a bean feast indeed with a royal mouse on the spread. Ratigan was now wearing a royal cape and other royal things, and he looked like a proper royal rat as he remarked, "I look like a real rata tat tat!" The Rat King was sitting on the same balcony that the Mouse Queen had been thrown off from and he looked defeated as he asked, "so how are things? You need something from me or..." "You seem remarkably downtrodden my friend. What be thigh predicament?" Ratigan inquired as he made the final adjustments to his royal uniform. The Rat King explained his second defeat at the hands of Joseph Green, but Ratigan showed no emotion and instead just laughed as he said, "you really are pathetic aren't you King?" "What are you talking about Ratigan? I thought.. I thought we was in this thing together you and me." The Rat King asked. "Us? Who said anything about us?" Ratigan asked as he then proceeded to reveal that he was just using the Rat King, because truth be told he had the hots for the King when they first met what with his roaring six pack and all. Ratigan believed the King would be a vital asset to his criminal empire once he took control of Great Britain, but he quickly realised that the Rat King for all of his bravado and muscles, he was actually nothing but a chicken nugget happy meal who once even lost a fight to an alligator who sings in the choir, and one who laughs like a seal when a security guard keeps talking about going around the backside. That is not appropriate! Ratigan in a shocking moment of betrayal had the Rat King tased by Bill and an unnamed mouse henchman. Rati King was mostly unaffected by the shock though it did cause him to lose his balance, and he fell down onto the ground though he managed to get back up on his knees as he then shook his head. He wasn't surprised to hear that Ratigan had held feelings for him, only to later lose them as this wasn't the first time it happened. Back when he first became a rat man hybrid, the Rat King had tried going back to college and got on a course where the professor appeared to have some sort of boner for him as he gave the King 100 points even though he hadn't even bothered to answer the professor's question. However much like Ratigan, the Professor eventually lost the hard on as during a presentation on muscle mass, the Rat King stood on a green podium as he tried to flex his muscles, but the professor just rolled his eyes as he said rudely, "nice muscles do not a great person make Mr Rat King."

By all accounts, the Rat King seemed to be taking Ratigan's dismissal of him rather well, but that was when the Professor made a rather shocking revelation. According to Ratigan, he was the reason that the Toilet Duck came to the arena that fateful day to save Joseph Green. Whereas Joseph Green thought that Duck was there because he was Toilet Duck's number one customer, in reality Ratigan had phoned up Duck and told him that The Rat King had been bad mouthing Toilet Duck and it's cleaning abilities to all of his rat buddies. Rat King according to Ratigan had taken it one step further by saying that Duck wasn't fit to be a bathroom cleaner, as he claimed that Mr Muscle was a real one and that whatever people said about him wearing a fake muscle suit were all just rumours spread by people who have far too much time on their hands ever since their computer were destroyed by the dreaded PC Mattock. Please don't download PC Mattock, you'll smile like you've let out a wet fart while it eats away at your computer like a fat kid on a cupcake. Anyways, the Rat King realising that Ratigan had sent Duck after him, lost his cool and tried to tackle Ratigan, but it was no use as he ended up falling backwards off the balcony and onto the cold hard streets below. Defeated, the King turned on his heel and snuck into the shadows of the night, "Poor King!" Ratigan remarked as he watched the King flee from the balcony as he decided that it was time for him to make his presence known to his new found royal followers. The King walked down the road and this part is sad you're supposed to cry right now. People Just Ain't No Good was playing on a piano as The Rat King past by a rundown bar. He eventually decided that he was just going to go back to his old ways, and try to take over someone's home so that he and some rats can party in their attic just like they had done with Joseph Green's all those years ago. The Rat King headed to a nearby barn where the farmer tried to kill him with his rake. "Threaten me would ya?" The Rat King asked rhetorically as he got ready to beat up the farmer by throwing the rake out from his hands. The farmer was very sickly looking proper sick even sicker than Arthur Morgan do you see what I did there? Anyways, the Rat King grabbed the farmer by the collar he yelled, "this is my place now!" The Rat King was unable to go any further as he looked at the farmer, and saw a sadness there that rendered him weak in the six pack. Could he really kill an innocent farmer who raises money for charity? Well I could quite happily as the farmer was quite evil with the money he earned as he used to buy bottles of cough medicine in bulk, as the farmer was addicted to it. "Rat King! Let him go!" Cried Joseph Green as he appeared in the farm right next to the Rat King who then proceeded to go through a hero bs where he goes on and on about how he can't win at life. Joseph Green simply shrugged before saying, "Professor Ratigan's a bastard, no doubt about it. You wanna really hurt him where it hurts? Let's do it together!" Officer Ran and Fred Ran were on the way to the farm too as Ran had finally recovered from his sadness after realising that he can be a better man than any Ran before him, and he also knew that if he failed then no one would survive. Quite the arrogant man that Officer Ran, as he had so much arrogance having never attended an actual school to teach him good manners he attended a stunt school which was ran by Tufflips.

Thinking that maybe they could get the government to help them out, Joseph Green and the others headed to MI6's headquarters where they requested a meeting with senior agent C who was the current head of MI6. They asked for his help in taking down the evil Professor Ratigan. C appeared to have a thing for Joseph Green, as he got extra close to Green's face upon shaking his hand as he asked rhetorically, "ain't you a sight for sour eyes Mr Green?" C already knew about the evil plan, but he felt helpless because all of his best agents had become rats. C knew about it, because a tradition he often performed on the new recruit's first day was giving them a right good jumpscare. He would hide in the auditorium during orientation, and then jump out when everything went quiet. Professor Ratigan disguised as an MI6 agent named R who bared an uncanny resemblance to Professor Ratigan. Ratigan in a very suggestive way gave a chocolate bar to the agents present which caused them to turn into rats, and when one of the rats questioned how to work their new found ratty body the Professor glared a sinister glare as he shot a pink bolt of lighting out from his glove finger which hit the curious rat and killed him instantly. The orientation was supposed to take place at MI6's headquarters in Central London, but Ratigan bribed the British Government so that the meeting was changed to a rundown hotel in the countryside which employs a waitress that is a real looker but doesn't give two shits about nicking perfume from your bag, so lace it with sulphuric acid if I were you. C agreed to help Joseph Green by calling in a favour from the UN, but suddenly a dart was shot into the agent's ass as he then said, "oh." C died with his face falling into a bowl of rice pudding that sat upon his desk. The window in the office was open, and Greg ran out to see who had shot the fatal arrow. On a construction site located just across the street, Bill The Lizard was standing there with a sniper rifle. Bill had become a different lizard ever since changing his alliance to Professor Ratigan, and you have to wonder if he was ever really good to begin with?

At Buckingham Palace, the royal floor show began to play with Queen Mouse appearing to talk about what was going down in the hood tonight. However, she was currently at the Golden Koi and so was replaced with the devious Professor Ratigan. The fat rat was wearing a royal uniform, and he presented himself to the court that was filled with the local rats including all the people had been turned into rats including General Asquith, Mrs Ditkiss, and several other powerful members of British society. Ratigan presented his list of rules for all the people in Britain to follow which stretched all the way through the hallway to the very end of the country. Ratigan had hatred towards everyone. He wanted the country to placed under Ratigan law which meant that anyone who failed to listen to him would be sent into the salt mines. Old farts would have their backs broken like a Twix chocolate bar by Ratigan's enforcers as let's face it there's not much that they can do now is there? Ratigan then stretched his mighty body out as he proclaimed that no one could stop him now. "Oh, I don't think so!" A voice yelled like some kind of Bubble Bass who has way too much screentime imo as Prince Malkovich appeared. He pointed at the Professor and yelled that he was the next in line for the throne, and that with the Mouse Queen presumably dead, he was supposed to be the one taking over the kingdom in her absence as she had no other children. Also, Prince Malkovich was a real human being as the Mouse Queen had an affair with a bank teller many years ago, and she was presumably the high profile client that the teller had mentioned during a luncheon with his mate who really wanted to know about the client and who exactly they were. Prince Malkovich sat himself down onto the throne as he ordered his guards to kill Professor Ratigan. Angered over his plan failing, Ratigan ran out of the palace and got onto his blimp as he prepared to head back to his lair as he had lots of more plans on how to take over. He was not aware that he was being followed by Joseph Green and Rat King. "Need a lift handsome?" Rat King asked Joseph Green who smiled an incredibly cheesy Joseph Green smile before proclaiming, "please!" The Rat King proceeded to give Green a piggy back as the pair chased after Ratigan while Greg, Officer Ran, and Fred helped provide vaccines to people who hadn't yet turned into rodents by drinking the water, the vaccines did absolutely nothing as they were filled with water they were evidently used by Officer Ran as boosts for the people's morale in London. Ratigan ended up crashing his blimp right into the clockface of Big Ben. Joseph Green was going in alone to confront the Professor, but he did a pretty terrible job at it. He climbed to the top of the clocktower using a series of suction cups, and upon reaching the top he realised that he was afraid of heights when Ratigan appeared now in tatters, and he yelled angrily, "there's no escape this time Green!" Ratigan was a very heavy set rat with muscles on top of muscles, and he easily defeated Green in hand to hand combat. Before Ratigan could deliver the final blow to Green's face which smelt like a foot, the devious Rat King appeared from behind Ratigan as he yelled, "hey Ratigan go to Asda you fat rat!" "You what?" Ratigan asked as he turned around, but before he could even react he was given a mean right hook directly at the face by Rat King. Ratigan fell off from the tower, and he cried in despair as he fell to his death. Time runs out for Ratigan! The Mouse Queen meanwhile was sitting inside the backroom of the Golden Koi as Mrs Chu and her staff discussed what to do about the Queen Mouse as cooking her could cause a great problem as it was long standing rule that rodents of royalty were not to be served at the Golden koi.

The Rat King stood atop the Golden Koi's roof, and lifted the ceiling window off from it's hinges, and he climbed his way through as he saved the Mouse Queen much to the outrage of one of the chefs who pointed at the King and yelled, "oi you should not be back here?" Joseph Green returned to his home in Hartley Dale to cook up a victory stew for his new found friends, he apologized the Rat King on the way back to the house. "When will I learn to stop being such a blow hard Joseph?" The Rat King asked as Joseph took his hands in his as he smiled a cheesy smile as the Rat King responded with his own as Green then said, "I think you just did Rat King." Stop that! Rat King x Joseph Green? That was not my wish! Sylvia then called Joseph up to ask if he had heard about Professor Ratigan's death and his attempted takeover of the country as there had been reports all over the news. Sylvia was currently on a secret escapes holiday with Charles as she was the only person keeping that company up and running. Ironically, they weren't very secret and not the best holidays to go on as you could only communicate to the guests in whispers. Sylvia asked her husband over the phone if he had anything to do with what happened, Green simply responded, "I won," as he then proceeded to hang up the phone. It all worked well in the end the Rat King became Joseph Green's new roommate after he realised that the King owned a lot of good credit. Green needed someone to cry on the shoulder of as his wife continued to spend more and more time with Charles. The Rat King in a rare heart warming felt particularly bad towards Sylvia's treatment towards Joseph, and got revenge on Charles by ripping the H off from Charles' Honda Accord. Greg meanwhile opened up his own museum dedicated to his old friend Marcel Toing and there were wax sculptures of Marcel located everywhere which smelt so much of wax that your nose will fall off. While Officer Ran presumably went back to being a police officer like normal, while Fred Ran went back to breaking into people's homes in order to destroy their toilets with his smelly poos. Well that about does her, let's go home.

Oh wait a second, you're probably wondering what happened to General Asquith and the other people who were turned into rodents, well Joseph Green felt like they were just going to have the make best of it with the new rat human hybrids appearing all over the country as there was not currently a known cure. The night after Ratigan's death, Joseph lied in his bed and briefly weirded out the Rat King with how he seemed to hold normal conversations with a baseball bat and a beach ball like they were his lifelong pals. I guess Sylvia's totally not an affair with Charles was really starting to take its toll on him. Suddenly, a knock once again occurred at the front door of Joseph Green's house. Green looked over at the Rat King who shrugged before saying, "it's probably for you." Well who else would it be for Rat King? Green opened the door, and on his street there sat a woman on a bike who appeared to be a witch but only a witch of the good persuasion. She waved at Joseph Green, as she then sped down the road on her bike. General Asquith no longer a rat was standing behind her with suitcases in toe, and he walked on up to the house and asked, "got a room for a third?" "For you Asquith, I've got twenty!" Joseph laughed as he learned from General Asquith that the lady on the bike was a witch but a good one who was going around the city to turning all the rat hybrids back into human beings. Yes, a witch did it I don't even know anymore. Well it's been fun, well I got to go. I got to make myself scarce before the yanks go marching in.