Hocus Pocus

Hocus Pocus, aka Po or Hokey Pokey, is a former resident of Hexas and on-again, off-again affiliate of the God Slicers. He is a Harengon Gunslinger/Warlock and general agent of chaos. He is the estranged father of Gertrude.

### Before the Chaos

Born and Raised in Hexas, Po grew up in a family of gunslingers. His parents were both respected members of the community and did their best to raise Po with love and a spirit of adventure. However, things changed when the Sheriff of Naughtingham rose to power in the town, forcing ordinary citizens to pay heaps in taxes or risk being banished into the desert while the wealthy profited off their work. When his parents, Archibald and Marianne Pocus, turned up dead after refusing to pay a made-up fee for walking down the street, Po decided enough was enough and decided to make a warlock deal with The Highwayman.

Assisted by his new partner, Scrum Gumpkin, Po ran the corrupt Sheriff out of town, and a new day began in Hexas with Po and Scrum redistributing the wealth through a series of heists and chicanery. However, it wasn’t long before Scrum double-crossed Po, stole his mother’s Chaos Pistol, and created the Golden Corral Gang, plunging Hexas into yet another era of fear and suppression, with Po to blame for it.

### Meeting the God-Slicers

After several failed attempts to steal his mother’s pistol back from Scrum and overthrow the Golden Corral, Po’s prayers were finally answered in the shape of an airship that landed in the middle of the Hexan Desert carrying the fraying and distressed God-Slicers. After offering them a place to stay in his den, Po was able to convince the party to help him break into the casino and put an end to the Golden Corral’s rein of terror, a plan supported by the God-Slicers’ need for the Magic Amplification Cone in their upcoming battle with the Beholder.

It took a shockingly short time for the God Slicers to defeat the Golden Corral Gang, something not at all upsetting for anyone who planned it I’m sure, and after poking through the gang’s loot, Po was reunited with his mother’s Chaos Pistol.

#### Meeting Chaos

After a short detour in the Hexan Desert, during which Zia planned to eat the heart of a dead god, Astrid introduced Po to Time Crystals and Po took his first inter-dimension-temporal-hallucinatory trip. During this trip, Po met Chaos himself, who asked why he had one of his fingers. In response, Po fired the gun at Chaos, but an umbrella came out of the barrel. Out of pure appreciation for Po’s dedication to chaos itself, Chaos kissed him full on the mouth and they made out for a while. When they finally stopped swapping spit, Chaos realized he was pregnant, but Po was pulled back into the present time without a chance to react.

After a brief stint into the Bottomless Pit, during which Astrid and Po stole a variety of cakes to throw at innocent bystanders, Po swore to track down his child, and said good-bye to the God Slicers for now.

### Alone Again, Naturally

Po searched endlessly for his child, casing far and wide on three different continents, and various timelines, confusing any and all who encountered him with what his whole deal was.

He traveled to The Name of this Town is Secret where he received no information, but a myriad of weird looks and incoherant whispers, encountering a weird goat man who really wanted to know what Zia was up to, then the Watchtower, to see what they’d seen. He stopped by the Amsarin Monastery and learned how to live as a monk (the lifestyle, not the 5e class) in hopes of becoming enlightened enough to figure out where his kid may be.

When all of those courses of action failed, he attended Corbray University Night School, where he received a license in Marriage and Family Therapy, a skillset he hoped would help him reunite his family. While attending the university he noticed an odd amount of students and faculty trying to get up close and personal with him, trying to give him hickies during class and telling him what a snack they thought he was. Needless to say, he made many new friends, and lifelong memories in college. He graduated on the Dean’s List.

During his first therapy session, Po was arrested for impersonating the Dean and fraudulently putting his name on the Dean’s List. He was subsequently sent to Boneman’s Prison, however the new warden was too sad to really keep an eye on anything, and Po was able to break out the next day.

In a flurry of luck (and chaos) Po was able to travel to the continent of Livinia where he found the Cave of Answers, something, he thought, would surely help him on his quest. But the cave of answers had no answers, because everything about the child's whereabouts is an unanswerable question. Feeling at his lowest and without any idea of what to do next, he went to Soup Town and spiraled into a weeklong soup bender, before drunkenly (on soup) going to the Domain of the Badger King and usurping him. Still, he found no direction for his travels and no answers to his questions. He wandered Cum Alley for several days before Willie appeared with a clue to the whereabouts of his child.

Armed with a vague idea of where he’d be going and a pistol full of time crystals, Po shot himself into Elory, at the time of the Court of Thieves. He was dropped off at the University of Trollberg, where he had a chance encounter with an incredibly sexy professor of wizardry by the name of Golf Dilf. From there he could feel that he was on the trail to his kid, He stopped briefly in Yegg for some gambling in the great Pyramid, where he met the rather wicked seeming King of Thieves, Luke Cooper.

After making millions of gold coins at the casino, he traveled through the Otherlands, stopping briefly in Hamlety Hamlet for the annual Fishtival, which he unfortunately missed as he was preoccupied having a wild night with Willy the Fisherman, and into the Wastelands where he came across a train on a circular track and the rock gnome who conducted it. After a passionate night together, Po bid farewell to Gurgle and continued past the big spooky mountain and deeply haunted castle to Fel where he could feel was the last place in the Material Plane his daughter had been to.

### Po's Ongoing List of Lovers and Their Children

* **Chaos** (God)
	+ Daughter: **Gertrude**
* **Colette** (vampire)
* **Thaddeus** (Land of Dreams Librarian)
	+ Son: **Thaddeus Jr.**
* **Bear with Shark Arms** (Wonderdome Fighter)
* **Frost Giant** (Land of Dreams Component Guard)
* **Sir Bloodstone's Guards**
* **Sir Bloodstone Hurumph** (almost)
* **Golf Dilf** (University of Trollberg)
* **Willy the Fisherman** (Hamlety Hamlet)
* **Gurgle** (The Wastelands)