Uzi Doorman/Quotes

OverviewGallery**Quotes**

## Season 1

### PILOT

"***We are Worker Drones, autonomous robots helping humans mine exoplanets for our interstellar parent company JCJenson IN SPAAAAACEE!!!!. Yeah, we were mistreated in the name of Windex, but it's not like we revolted and killed all humans or anything. Mostly because they handled that just fine by themselves.***"

"***With biological life wiped from the planet, we found it pretty easy to pick up where they left off. We finally had a future all to ourselves. Unfortunately, our parent company didn't exactly love the concept of runaway AI.***"

"***But what have our parents done for the past FOREVER while those things build a spire of corpses!? Hide under the ice behind three stupid DOORS!? It's like we're waiting for an inciting incident!***"

"***Anyway, that's why my project is this sick as hell RAILGUN! Easy, morons. It doesn't work... YET! It doesn't work YET! Who said it doesn't work? Maybe it does!***"

"***Oh, and this magnetically amplified photon converger doesn't count?***"

"***I'm an angsty teen Thad, bite me. Also, how do you know my name? People willingly talk to you.***"

"***Crippling daddy issues, hilarious. What are you in for? Testosterone too hard?***"

"***Oh... ew, gross, I hate that you said that.***"

"***Sick as hell railgun!? Sci-fi nonsense that super works! I'm sneaking to the Murder Drone lair tonight to get the last spare part I need to save the world with it and earn my dad's respect and stuff, but mostly the world part.***"

"***No more feedback on my repression today!***"

"***Bite me! I'm not mad at you by the way, just generally hormonal!***"

"***Ugh...***"

"***Oh robo-Jesus!***"

"***Mmm... sneaking out to make out with my boyfriend that I definitely have?***"

"***Okay, okay, you caught me! I need to measure... the exterior hydraulic mechanisms of Door One. Because that's... the project I'm working on for school? A big old door! Just like what my old man built!***"

"***...I wanna join the WDF and hide behind doors like cowards while playing cards and stuff...***"

"***Neat. Therapy's fun.***"

"***Uh, wow, okay. Just gonna leave then! Cause this worked so weirdly well.***"

"***Uh- Go doors!***"

"***Wah!***"

"***Woah, and they said pirating all that anime was useless.***"

"***Bite me!***"

"***Holy hell. Suck on THAT, dad!***"

"***Heh- huh?***"

"***Holy crap it talks.***"

"***Uh huh. I, uh, have to... go.***"

"***And by our saliva you mean...***"

"***Disassembly Drone?***"

"***Right... Hey, let's go in that landing pod over there.***"

"***We are never talking about this.***"

"***You mentioned other members of your squad? Are they coming back soon?***"

"***This... isn't just a landing pod. This is a spaceship. This could get us off the planet!***"

"***No, I, uh, the Worker Drones, we could work with them to fix things, instead of all the MURDER... which... uh... why are we doing that again?***"

"***And look at all the respect it's gotten you N! You really think the company isn't going to dispose of you once all the workers are dead?***"

"***Ugh, bite me! Close it! Close it!***"

"***This time I won't miss.***"

"***Bite me. Dad, get down!***"

"***Now is so not the time! I messed up, in the same way I'm about to fix it! Move, dad!-***"

"***Dad... point and shoot! Trust me!***"

"***Dad?***"

"***And I made you rebel like an angsty teen which got you killed. Though, you also tried to kill me, so morality calls this a draw.***"

"***For the record, that was the lamest heel-face turn in history. Was that supposed to be you switching sides?***"

"***Nah uh, no bonding thing. You just killed a bunch of people idiot.***"

"***Uuuugh. In the same way you're about to fix it?***"

"***HEY!***"

"***Put that conventionally attractive male down!***"

"***Nice.***"

"***Okay, which one do you want?***"

"***Too bad. Good luck!***"

"***One more buzzword and I'll do it!***"

"***I brought the Murder Drones here accidentally. You CHOSE to leave me for dead instead of just freaking BELIEVING IN ME! And that's not even an edgy teen hyperbole like when I said it last week!***"

"***I'll save you the trouble dad. I'll banish myself.***"

"***Let's go, N. Everyone here can bite me.***"

"***Shut it.***"

"***Just can't wait to murder all humans. Classic robot stuff.***"

"***I hope they're sitting pretty there on earth cause we are coming for them.***"

### Heartbeat

"***N, found something in here!***"

"***Bite me! This is probably you weirdos' fault!***"

"***Did you know that was a pilot hat?***"

"***The humans sent you without a communication relay and reformatted your memories to soup.***"

"***Covering their tracks means they're past negotiating. Not that they tried negotiating with my mom.***"

"***Quit complicating my murder plan.***"

"***Bite me!***"

"***Bite me- her. I started it. And also I'm dumb!***"

"***Several people wanted to, for the record.***"

"***But mostly bite me!***"

"***Ugh I'm sweaty! Who programmed that!?***"

"***I'm good. Better than good! I am GOD!***"

"***Aah, haha, Hi- hi Thad.***"

"***Thank you.***"

"***The fact I'm too rogue to re-enter society now? I can never return.***"

"***We can return a little...***"

"***Ugh, banished! Has my dad been saying I'm GROUNDED?***"

"***I'm good...stop asking!***"

"***You guys... do that often?***"

"***Don't call it that!***"

"***AbsoluteSolver? Reboot? Does this have something to do with how you grew your head back?***"

"***New material can't be pulled from thin air. If the wound is severe enough, this solver might be some sort of auto-run program to collect more mat-***"

"***I wanna frickin' ninja star!***"

"***Ugh, stop asking! Chainsaw hand time?***"

"***Predictably terrible work, J. Why do you look so-***"

"***What's with the voice, J?***"

"***So you ARE a program?***"

"***N...? What's with the mom hologram?***"

"***Not happening.***"

"***Woah... Hey!***"

"***What...?***"

"***No!***"

"***What was... which parts of that were real?***"

"***What... are you things?***"

### The Promening

"***My crazed ramblings! Stay out of my freaking room!***"

"***I'm sorry for being vulnerable for 5 seconds, Okay!?***"

"***You were never there for me! If you wanna help now, stay distant.***"

"***I'm going to talk to N- What is this?***"

"***Huh? HUH? AHHHH!***"

"***Hey, So, Thanks for having me- but now that my dad thinks I'm here, I'm actually gonna-***"

"***Easy, Robo Satan, not this mirror.***"

"***What the f-***"

"***N!? Why are- How did!?***"

"***I think something bad-***"

"***No, I could use the help... of you... being there... with me...***"

"***Ah ha! Unhand them, you fieeeend-? I'm confused.***"

"***Holy crap, what is she doing?***"

"***Bite me. Whoever started this wants us to fight. I'm not dealing with anything well, but I'm done dealing with everything alone. We move forward together, or not at all.***"

"***Quit saving me! Seriously, don't do that again.***"

"***V, we needed her for answers!***"

"***You!***"

"***Lucky for you, we're not done yet.***"

"***Ugh, self respect!***"

"***Why would a Worker Drone- Was she eating them?.***"

"***What?***"

"***Wait, oh, don't you dare!***"

"***Ugh, I hate it here!***"

### Cabin Fever

"***I've sat next to you for years.***"

"***Bite me. I asked to go alone. He's mad at your test scores.***"

"***Yeah, they're like my friends too, so it's cool.***"

"***Hey, stupid idiot. Weren't you just-***"

"***Working on it. Just, so glad you guys fit right in. Super cool...***"

"***Sorry buddy. Got you good.***"

"***Elevator? Where's that? What are you?***"

"***Psst, hey.***"

"***Uh, hehe, hey, everyone.***"

"***Um, ignore all of this...***"

"***Uh...I was just going...I LIVE IN THE WOODS NOW!***"

"***It doesn't. I CHECKED...***"

"***V, please...!***"

"***I don't know... who that is...***"

"***Can I... talk to N?***"

"***No, don't look. I'm gross and eating people and stuff...***"

"***Are you like, gonna leave me?***"

"***Nevermind, it's stupid.***"

"***Same...***"

"***Don't frickin' touch it. Plus my voice is more like-***"

"***Accent was a bad idea anyway. N, I'm... sorry.***"

"***Oh no, I definitely-***"

### Home

"***I made the tag when I was eight, shut up.***"

"***Not a sleepover. You passed out 'cause some internal program is trying to delete these memories.***"

"***I'm helping, you cute- WEIRD- weird butler. We find out what happened to you here, restore the memory files, and save you from being digitally lobotomized. Library basement, giddy up.***"

"***I AM a ghost witch! And I'm tall. DAD! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!***"

"***Important hacking going on!***"

"***NOT A SLEEPOVER!***"

"***Sorry. Where were we...? Oh...***"

"***Okay, N, I can pull you out at an—***"

"***—nytime. But, you'll never get these memories back, dude.***"

"***To you! And, like... me.***"

"***We just... hang out. Shut up. Repression door.***"

"***The key...***"

"***I kill you.***"

"***Oh, we're in! ...And J's useless. Surprise.***"

"***Unfortunately. Now, let's see what that little yellow creep was up— Oh...!***"

"***So... That's a pretty... metal.. origin story...***"

"***Alright, let's get out of here.***"

"***You wanting it tells me you shouldn't have it!***"

"***This is the only clue to what's wrong with me!***"

"***Just leave us alone.***"

"***U-ugh, so-r-ry. My freaking dad's— WHOA!***"

"***Don't freaking doxx me!***"

### Dead End

"***Uzi! Why are you here, human?!***"

"***Real tired of killing this one.***"

"***Why involve Doll? What's happening to... her?***"

"***...And?***"

"***...Yeah.***"

"***...Shoot the baby immediately?***"

"***Whoa, hey, cut that thing up and you're gonna get a big creepy worm. An improvement.***"

"***...Okay, that's enough of this.***"

"***How'd you know my mom? Was she cool? She didn't suck, did she?***"

"***Easy, creep. You've got the wrong–***"

"***Wait, stop. Seriously, what are you talking about?***"

"***Wait...! Please...!***"

"***Ow... My freaking head....N?***"

"''***U GOOD?''***"

"''***TALK LATER?''***"

"''***>:3''***"

"***That's... convenient.***"

"***Yeah, no... Nevermind.***"

"***He's his own person!***"

"***You, ew! You're mean!***"

"***What the heck is going on?***"