March to a Million Part One

"*Subscribe to Internet Historian!*"
―Erik
March to a Million Part One is the 108th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on March 11, 2020 and was followed by March to a Million Part Two.

## Summary

Erik is as 905,000 subscribers and sets the goal of one million by the end of the month. He has to tell people about his channel, so he goes into a game of VR poker and starts talking about Internet Comment Etiquette. The other players change the subject to Internet Historian so Erik just goes all in and loses. He tells them to subscribe to Internet Historian and leaves. Erik goes into a different game and teamkills while telling them to subscribe to him. They threaten to report his channel for hate crimes so he asks them to go to Internet Historian instead.

Erik creates an ad for his channel. He wants to make an ad of him doing the Brazilian Booty Burn while telling people to eat pussy, but he just has to do one with him silently screaming because the first one wasn't allowed. Then he goes over to a YouNow stream where the streamer doesn't know how to say etiquette. He moves over to Chatroulette and it's just naked men. Erik records a message of himself telling everyone on Chatroulette to subscribe and has it play on a loop.

Erik does some research to look up a video on how to get a million subscribers, but he doesn't want to follow any of the advice. He remembers that he had already done a giveaway in Being a Creep but never gave out the gross shirt. It looks clean, so he spits on it. One of the comments on the video suggests using another account to advertise, so Erik logs in as Easily Impressed Gamer and leaves a long winded comment that doesn't mention his channel at all.

Erik checks his subscriber count and he lost 6,000 subscribers.

## Comments

*Yo how much to run ads on this younow feed**Okay I'll take the freebie: subscribe to internet comment etiquette**Wait say etiquette again**Say etiquette one more time*
- Erik

*film a died guy LOL*
- Michael Juarez

*Let me tell you a story about my son, Jacob. We always said his eyes are like floodlights. Everything he saw and touched became illuminated to those around him, their forgotten childhoods suddenly springing forth as they rediscovered the funny shapes of things, the optimistic guesses at how the world must work, or the way a squirrel obscured by rain looks like it's flying when it runs along a powerline. We remembered what joy is, the way it feels when you're too young to understand that it comes and goes. These were the things Jacob shared with us, and I can't imagine going back.**Jacob wanted a YouTube channel, and so we made it for him. Janet had worked as a camera operator back when we had jobs, so she handled the technical aspects. Sidney wrote for a blog, so she helped steer Jacob's creativity. David worked in the NICU and was there when Jacob opened his eyes for the first time. My job was to make sure Jacob never, ever got upset. That had happened before, and we all got very upset as well. It was unpleasant, and his mother Emily had to leave us because of it.**The love that Jacob received for his channel was astounding, and not entirely unexpected. He wanted us to give him gigantic chocolate eggs filled with toys, and so we did. His “M&M Spaghetti" video received more views than “Despacito." His reach grew around the world. Those pure eyes stealing everyone they gazed upon, never upset, through cell phones and social media -- late night talk show segments and finally a meeting with the president.**I can't believe how much he's grown in the years since. To achieve so much at such a young age would be a strain on anyone, but I never let him get upset. He doesn't want youtube channels anymore. He's much more important than that, and whatever he wants... he gets. I knew that the moment he looked in my eyes for the first time. I'd do anything for Jacob, and sometimes I have. But I'd still kick Jacob off a fucking bridge if it means you didn't post that.*
- Easily Impressed Gamer

## Video

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