Thor

> "*For as long as I could remember, I felt like I was unstoppable. But lately, the losses have begun to compile. I felt... unsure of myself. I felt low. I began seeking victories not to benefit the cause - but to validate myself! But I can see now my homies that lie in front of me - that need someone who will FIGHT FOR THEM! And NOT for HIMSELF! And I say to them: I SHALL NOT LET YOU DOWN!*"
>
> ―Thor Odinson
>
>

**Thor Odinson** is the god of thunder and prince of Asgard. He is also an Avenger and a former member of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

## History

### Early Life and Noobmaster69

Thor Odinson was born on Asgard thousands of years before the present day, and grew up with his adopted brother, Loki Laufeyson. Unlike Loki, Odinson was eventually able to leave Asgard as much and as long as he pleased.

While on Earth, Odinson was enlightened about the game Fortnite and engaged in its battle royale mode. During one round, he encountered Noobmaster69, who outmatched Thor in skill. In further insult to injury, Noobmaster verbally insulted Odinson via the in-game voice chat as well. Odinson threatened Noobmaster, presumably about shoving his amputated arms up his arse, and quit playing the game.

Some time later, Odinson joined the Guardians of the Galaxy, in which he was allowed to choose which galaxy to protect. Odinson however, swiftly chose to go to Earth, which the Guardians had just saved from some threat. There, Odinson broke into Noobmaster69's his own home, and assaulted the gamer, who was in the middle of a round of Fortnite. Despite the beatdown Odinson gave him, Noobmaster still managed to win the game. Defeated but impressed, Odinson took Noobmaster back to the Milano to recruit him. The two were promptly kicked from the Guardians afterward.

Still on Earth, Odinson decided to watch a show of Marlon the Magical Mystery Magician's. Unfortunately, Spider-Man and the local police arrived to stop Mysterio, who they mistook Marlin for. Their appearance ruined the show and had Odinson be hit by a police cruiser.

### Becoming an Avenger and Preventing the War on Drugs

After the Marlon mishap, Odinson joined the Avengers. In the middle of a talk about hating drugs at the Avengers HQ, Spider-Man arrived after taking down a drug operation at the New York City Docks. Unbeknownst to them, Parker had brought with him a bag filled with a dozen drugs he planned to dispose of.

Odinson, with the other Avengers, eventually needed to use the bathroom. Odinson took a urinal, along with Iron Man, while Captain America tried to use the stall Parker was in. Rogers eventually bashed down the door to find that Parker was trying to flush the bag of drugs down the toilet. While Odinson and Rogers were surprised, Stark was infuriated at the sight of them, causing a fight amongst the four of them. Eventually, Rogers managed to calm each Odinson and the others down to allow Spider-Man to explain himself.

Parker reasoned that he was trying to end the War on Drugs to the Avengers, causing Captain America to pity him enough to go through with Parker's beliefs. Taking the Time Stone, Rogers took them back to the 1970's to stop Richard Nixon from even declaring the War on Drugs.

Outraged by this, Nixon fought the group, temporarily taking Rogers out of the fight with a miniature ballistic missile and shooting Stark's helmet, causing his suit to malfunction. Instead of using Stormbreaker, Odinson summoned Mjolnir and began combating Nixon, who now wielded two katanas. Even with his hammer, Nixon got the better of Odinson and stabbed him through the stomach, Odinson's Asgardian biology allowing him to live but be severely injured. Luckily, Rogers and Spider-Man managed to finally take down Nixon and prevent him from starting the War on Drugs. When Odinson and Stark recovered, the four of them returned to the present.

### Sans

Thor continued to play videogames with Captain America, until he is shot in the eye by a robber while eating at the diner. While in the hospital, he is confronted by Dr. Strange, who explains that he needs Thor’s help to fight Dormammu in Hell. Thor beats Dormammu, but he turns out not to be the true culprit. The mastermind in reality, was Sans.

Sans confronted Thor one-on-one and taunted him with his many losses. Knowing he needed to save his homies, Thor fought against Sans. Thor eventually defeated him, saving Christmas and his reputation as a pro gamer.

## Equipment

Odinson's initial weapon of choice was Stormbreaker, an enchanted axe. While taking on Richard Nixon, he managed to obtain Mjolnir, with whoever worthy of wielding the hammer being able to wield the power of the god of thunder. Both weapons allowed Thor to summon lightning and allowed him to fly.

## Powers and Abilities

As an Asgardian, Odinson had enhanced strength, being able to smash through walls because of his biology alone. He also had the innate Asgardian abilities of enhanced healing and durability, seen by how Thor could take a bullet to the eye and not be killed, as well as being able to recover from it in an astoundingly short period of time.