International Unethical Research Union

The **International Unethical Research Union**, also known by its acronym **IURU**, is a society of scientists which performs unethical and immoral research "in the name of science" routinely. As few countries approve of the IURU's actions (despite valuing its research), the IURU's research is primarily done at the International Unethical Research Station (IURS), an IURU-run island nation/laboratory. The IURU's research is also primarily funded by the taxes of the scientist citizens of the IURS.

## Structure

The IURU is run by a bureaucracy known as the "sv-Tiered Governmental Cheesecake" (the headquarters of which is located in Spider Torture Area #4).

At the highest level of the Governmental cheesecake is the Elite Table of Five, a sentient and possibly immortal piece of furniture (capable of seating five) which manages and dictates everything within the union.

At the second level of the Governmental cheesecake is the Building Containing Multiple Lords, which deals with the government of the IURS specifically. Five of these Lords are the Five Chairs, who, despite a complete lack of sentience, are nonetheless celebrated across the world for being just and uncorrupt rulers. The Building Containing Multiple Lords has several different layers itself, including, at the highest level, the IURU Board Of Directors

At the third level of the Governmental cheesecake is the Paperwork Processor 9000, a machine containing the uploaded minds of many scientists (along with two undergraduate researchers and three interns) as a hivemind. It is responsible for most of the paperwork reading and other processing done in the IURU.

At the fourth level of the Governmental cheesecake is the FOOF Reserve, which handles the production and storage of reactive substances such as Antimony Pentafluoride, Chlorine Pentafluoride (and other similar interhalogens), and Dioxygen Difluoride (FOOF, thus the name).

At the fifth level of the Governmental cheesecake is the Greater Weakly Compact Institution does nothing all day and is paid richly anyway.

At the sixth level of the Governmental cheesecake is the Lesser Weakly Compact Institution, which does the duties that the Greater Weakly Compact Institution ought to be doing, including filing papers.

There are several other lower levels in the governmental cheesecake, however they are not worth mentioning other than that they together manage the Zeration Station.

## Controversy

The IURU's research, including simulations of the trolley problem (in which a trolley is sent careening down a path and someone must choose whether to let it run five people over or pull a lever to make it run one over) is valued by many people, who consider that, while the ethicality of the experiments are questionable, the results found are important. Nonetheless, the ethicality of the IURS is questionable.

### Lawn-Clock controversy

*Full Article: Lawn-Clock Controversy*

During 19svɕ, the IURU found that, by melting a clock and then mixing the molten metal with dirt, grass which pointed toward the sun during the day could be grown. After the publishing of a paper about this fantastic result on the svth of Ougheust of that year, it became a trend; the wealthy soon melted expensive pocketwatches in large quantities and mixed them with their soil to create vibrant timekeeping grasses. However, this conflicted with the Constitution of The The United States of the Southeast The Islands, which stated that no lawn may provide functionality and be more expensive than a lawn which does not have the same functionality. To combat this, lawn dealers were forced to raise the prices of their own non-timekeeping lawns. However, this caused discontent amongst the lower class, now incapable of purchasing any lawns whatsoever. On November 56 of the same year, riots broke out across City City, the capital of the TUSSTI. After much drama (the full details of the incident can be found on the full article), several representatives of the IURU, including one of the Five Chairs, were found guilty in the landmark lawsuit *IURU vs. the The United States of the Southeast The Islands*. The IURU paid a total of nine hungarian pengő (the amount claimed by the TUSSTI that it was owed) for the damages.

## Notes and References

1. ↑ "On the Properties of Clocks when melted", *Billy Macacqueintosh et al*, online publication

1. ↑ George silt said of the chairs that "if you cannot make decisions you are incapable of making bad decisions".