Not-So-Happy Campers, Part One

**22 teenage contestants arrive at run-down Camp Wawanakwa for a chance to win the $1,000,000 Prize in the newest Reality TV Show ever. After all of them are introduced, they are separated into teams by the host.**

## Plot

The episode begins with the host, Chris McLean, introducing himself and the show to the viewers. He gives a tour of the island, while describing the elements of the game. First, he states that the show will take place somewhere near Muskoka, Ontario. He then tells that 22 teenage contestants will be staying at the camp for the next eight weeks. He reveals that they were told they would be competing in a 5-Star Hotel. The campers will instead be competing on the crappy summer camp, Camp Wawanakwa. Every three days, the teams must compete in challenges against each other. The winning team will receive invincibility and sometimes a reward as well, while the losing team will be sent to the "always-dramatic" campfire ceremonies, where one of their team will be voted off. The campers must vote for who they want off the show, and the one with the most votes will be eliminated. Contestants that are safe receive a marshmallow, the symbol of Invincibility in the game. The person who does not receive a marshmallow is eliminated and must walk down the Dock of Shame and ride the Boat of Losers, and can never return, ever. The last one standing will receive the $1,000,000 prize (that, let's face it, they'll probably blow in a week) and cheesy tabloid *Fame*.

Chris continues to say that the campers' every moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of tiny cameras hidden all over the camp. Chris then walks down to the Dock of Shame and introduces us to the contestants.

The first to arrive is Beth, who is excited to meet Chris. She runs up to him and hugs him before she states that he is shorter in real life, to which Chris hesitantly thanks her. Mext to arrive is DJ, who thinks that Chris got the wrong location, but Chris simply says that he hasn't and welcomes DJ to Camp Wawanakwa. DJ states that it looks different from the application form. Gwen is the next to arrive. She takes a look around and says she didn't sign up for this, which Chris promptly says she did, and he holds out the application that Gwen signed as proof. Gwen takes it from him and rips it in half, dropping it into the lake. Chris simply smiles and says that the good thing about lawyers is that they make a lot of copies, and he produces another one. Gwen groans and states that Chris can't make her stay there, but Chris says that Gwen will have a hard time getting off the island, as her ride left, and points to the boat departing. Gwen calls him a jerk and gets in line with the others.

Next to arrive is Geoff, who greets Chris, using the word "man" many times, to Gwen's annoyance. Chris also uses the word "man" while talking to Geoff. Next is Lindsay, who Chris says is "not too shabby". She tells Chris that he looks familiar, and Chris says that that is because he is the host of the show. Next is Heather, who is enthusiastically greeted by Beth, much to her chagrin. Beth says she wishes that they can be friends. Heather then complains about the state of the camp.

Next is Duncan, who throws his duffel bag onto the dock, before telling Chris threateningly that he doesn't like surprises. Chris says that Duncan's parole officer mentioned that and also told him to feel free to call him up if Duncan caused any trouble. Duncan immediately changes his tune and tells Heather that he'll see her by the campfire, calling her "gorgeous". Heather tells him to drop dead. Then, she says that she is going to call her parents to pick her up, because Chris can't make her stay there. Next is Tyler, who rides in on jetskis, and waves his hand. After he crashes onto the dock, he soars over the other contestants and lands in the pile of suitcases. One of the suitcases lands in the lake, soaking Heather, who complains that her shoes are ruined. Chris congratulates Tyler on his epic wipeout.

Next is Harold, who is holding a keyboard under one arm. Chris welcomes Harold to camp and Harold looks around, surveying the camp. Beth asks what he's looking at, and Harold asks Chris if they'll be staying at this crappy summer camp for the next eight weeks, to which Chris replies happily that they will indeed. Harold is happy, and says that the location is much more favorable to his skills, making Chris cringe. Next is Trent, who walks in carrying his guitar case. After Chris greets him, Trent says that he saw Chris on a Figure Skating show and congratulates him on his nice work. Beth then says that she also saw it, and tells everyone that one pair won immunity because the guy dropped his partner on his head. Harold says that he wants to be dropped on his head, too. Lindsay agrees with him.

Trent looks around at everyone as Harold is picking his nose. He walks over to the others and stands next to Gwen, who frowns at first, but after looking at Trent, smiles. (OOOOH. Gwen and Trent sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G). Next to arrive is Bridgette, who is holding her surf board. Chris introduces her as the resident surfer chick. Duncan complains that she brought a surf board and tells her that they're not in Malibu. Bridgette said she thought they'd be on a beach, to which Chris says that they are, and the camera pans to a seagull with plastic around its neck. The seagull gets washed off the dirty beach and into the lake. Bridgette picks up her surf board and brings it with her, hitting Chris in the head in the process. Bridgette greets the others, and Geoff introduces himself. Bridgette turns around to talk to Geoff, and nearly hits Duncan, Trent and Harold in the head. Harold yells at Bridgette to watch her board. Beth, who is standing next to Trent also introduces herself, and Bridgette turns around, once again nearly hitting Harold, Trent and Duncan with her board. Heather is annoyed by everyone wanting to talk to Bridgette and asks if the show can continue. Duncan asks if Heather missed her Double Cappuccino Macchiato this morning, and Heather tells him to get bent.

Next to arrive is Noah, who promptly asks Chris if anyone received the memo he sent with a list of his life-threatening allergies, to which Chris dismissively replies "I'm sure someone did." Noah asks if this is where they'll be staying, and Duncan sarcastically says that it's actually Noah's mother's house, and that they're throwing a party. Noah asks if Duncan did his piercings himself, and Duncan grabs Noah's lip and asks if he wants some to match, to which Noah replies no and asks Duncan to let go of his lip. Next to arrive is Leshawna, who waves to the others from the boat. She tells the others to quit and spare themselves the trouble, because she's there to win. Harold gasps and claims that he's never seen anyone like Leshawna before. When Leshawna asks what he means by that, Harold says that Leshawna is big and loud. Leshawna gets mad and attacks Harold, but is held back by DJ and Bridgette. Harold tries to ward off Leshawna by using karate moves.

Next to arrive is the brain-sharing duo of Katie and Sadie. They both are excited that they're staying at a summer camp. They both run off to the others. Next is Ezekiel. Chris asks Ezekiel what's up, and Ezekiel says that he thinks he sees a bird. Chris says that Ezekiel doesn't get out much and his best advice would be to not talk much and try not to be voted out too early, and Ezekiel nods enthusiastically. Next to arrive is Cody, who tries to impress the ladies with a deep voice and a "cool" strut. He tries to talk to Leshawna, but she tells him to save it. Next to arrive is Eva, who is carrying a large gym bag. Cody puts his hand out for a high-five, and Eva ignores it and drops her bag on Cody's foot. Cody asks if Eva stores dumbbells in it, and she replies that she does. Duncan jokingly tells DJ that Eva is all his.

Next up is Owen, who yells, and startles Chris. Chris welcomes Owen, who hugs Chris tightly. Owen talks about how awesome it is to be there, but struggles to find the right words. Gwen asks if the word he's looking for is "awesome", to which Owen responds it is, and wonders if he and Gwen will be on the same team. Gwen sarcastically says that she hopes so. Next is Courtney, who waves at the contestants from the boat. Courtney tells the others that it's nice to meet them, and Owen introduces himself and shakes Courtney's hand, but Courtney gets distracted by the arrival of Justin, who leaves all the contestants (except for Ezekiel and DJ) staring at him, and Sadie faints after seeing him. Chris introduces Justin to everyone and welcomes him to the show. Justin thanks Chris and fist bumps him. Chris tells Justin that they only picked him for the show because of his looks, which Justin says he can deal with.

Owen says that he likes Justin's pants, because they're all worn out and he asks Justin if he bought them like that, but Justin says he's just had them for a while. Owen hits himself in the head and calls himself stupid. Next is Izzy, who excitedly greets Chris, before falling off the front of the boat and hitting her head on the dock. Tyler laughs about this, but Courtney says that Izzy could be seriously hurt, and rushes to help Izzy up. Izzy talks quickly about how fun falling off the boat was (except for hitting her chin) and asks if she's at summer camp. She asks if they have papier-mâché there and if it's almost lunch time, which Owen thinks is a good idea. Chris says that first thing is first, they need a group photo for the promotional images, and he tells them all to gather on the dock.

The contestants stand at the dock, and Chris jumps onto the boat to snap the picture, but forgets the lens cap. He tells them to hold their poses and is about to snap the picture again, but finds out that the card's full, and Leshawna says that her face is starting to freeze. After finally getting ready, Chris tells everyone to say "Wawanakwa", and just as Chris snaps the picture, the dock gives away under the weight of everyone, and they all tumble into the water. Chris tells them to dry off and meet him at the campfire pit in ten minutes.

Later, Chris introduces the campers to Camp Wawanakwa and explains that they will be staying there for the next eight weeks. He tells the campers the rules, and Duncan requests a bunk underneath Heather, but Chris says that guys have to sleep in one side of the cabin, while the girls sleep in the other. Lindsay asks Chris is she can have a cabin with a lake view, since she's the prettiest, which Chris admits she is, but says that that's not how it works. Katie and Sadie say that they have to be on the same team or else Katie will die and Sadie will break out in hives.

Chris then splits the contestants into teams: Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Beth, Izzy, Owen, Leshawna, Justin and Noah will be the Screaming Gophers, while Geoff, Bridgette, DJ, Tyler, Katie, Sadie, Courtney, Ezekiel, Duncan, Eva and Harold will be the Killer Bass.

Chris then warns the campers that they will be on camera in all public areas at all times.

Chris then advises the campers to check out their cabins. The Gophers get the East Cabin, while the Bass get the West Cabin. Heather complains about there being bunk beds, and says that it's a little like summer camp. Gwen pushes past her and says that that's the idea. Cody follows Gwen into the cabin and compliments her for being so smart, but Gwen asks him if he should be in the boys' cabin before throwing him out. Lindsay asks Chris where the outlets are, so she can plug in her straightening iron, and Chris responds that they can use the communal bathrooms. Lindsay says that she's not catholic, but Chris corrects her and says it's Communal, not Communion. Gwen explains that it means they have to shower together.

At the boys' side, Owen says he's glad that the guys have their own side with just guys. Trent and Noah glare at him and Owen tries to correct himself by saying that he like girls, he just doesn't like to sleep near them. Trent and Noah walk away while Owen tries to explain himself.

Geoff asks Chris if there's any kind of chaperone at the camp, to which Chris replies that, since the campers are all 16, and thus old enough to be CITs at a normal Summer Camp, they can take care of themselves. He then tells them to meet him at the main lodge in half an hour. The campers are interrupted by a loud scream, and they all rush to the girls' side of the Gophers' cabin, where Lindsay is screaming at a cockroach. DJ sees it and screams, too, jumping into a bed and breaking it in the process. Gwen says that it was her bed that he broke. Harold arrives and attempts to stomp on the cockroach, while Lindsay is screaming.

During the commotion, Duncan walks up with and axe and splits the cockroach in half. Tyler tells Lindsay that if she ever sees one again, to let him know because he could cut it in half, too. Duncan complains that the girls always go for the jocks.

Later, the teams are assembled at the Main Lodge, where Chef Hatchet is explaining how the meals work: He serves them three times a day, and the campers will eat them three times a day. He tells them to grab a tray, get in line and eat. Beth asks if they'll be getting all the major food groups, and Harold agrees since he gets hypoglycemic if he doesn't eat enough sugar. Chef says that they'll get a lot of "Shut the heck up". Leshawna tries to talk with Eva, who is mostly unresponsive before walking off.

Lindsay says that her nutritionist says she can't eat white sugar, white flour or any kind of dairy, which Gwen says won't be a problem.

Chris enters the Main Lodge, and Geoff asks him if they can order a pizza instead of eating Chef's food, but then Chef throws a meat cleaver at Geoff, who apologizes. Chris tells them that their first challenge is in one hour. Katie asks DJ what he thinks the challenge will be, and he says that, since it's their first challenge, it can't be too hard, but then the camera cuts to the 1,000 - foot cliff with all the campers looking down into the water.