The Guide

* S5
* S4

**The Guide** is an unnamed vampire who assists the Vampiric Council in Staten Island.

She serves as a messenger and summons accused vampires and witnesses to the council. She is notable for constantly moving from place to place by either hovering, occasionally teleporting too quickly for eyes to follow and is the only vampire seen practicing witchcraft. She appears in the *What We Do in the Shadows* TV series as a supporting character, and as a main cast member in Season 4.

## Biography

*The Guide is a wealth of knowledge and always willing to help, if only anyone would ever ask her. Now that she’s free of the responsibilities of the Vampiric Council and Nadja’s nightclub, she’s happy to have more time to spend with her friends, who don’t seem to even notice that she’s around. It’s hard fitting in and hanging out when everyone else has known each other for hundreds of years.*

### Human Life

Nothing is known about The Guide's life when she was a human.

### Life As A Vampire

Active since at least the 15th century, the woman who would come to be known as The Guide lived a highly hedonistic life, over-indulging in dangerous pursuits, bodily pleasures and generally running wild. By her own admission she was "a 'bad vampire", committing such acts as leading the Inquisition and dancing the Dance of the Seven Veils without the veils. While all these carefree antics weren't uncommon amongst vampires, The Guide ultimately crossed a line when she began an affair with a vampire hunter belonging to the famous Van Helsing line and as punishment, she was ordered by the Vampiric Council to assist its local branch located in the Temple of Blood-Devourers. She has done so dutifully since 1759, locking away the most shameful and sordid memories from her old life deep in her mind, eventually forgetting them along with her name.

### *What We Do in the Shadows* (Season 1)

As Laszlo, Nadja and Nandor buried the remains of Baron Afanas, a flock of ravens appeared, frightening the vampires. They fled inside their home and were approached by a floating woman at the door, who demanded they appear before the Vampiric Council for their crimes and chastised them for not sending a raven message back.

The vampires arrived at the Temple of Blood-Devourers, where the floating woman guided them through the tunnels to the Council. She brought in the Baron’s familiar and Guillermo to testify, and when the vampires were eventually found guilty she led them to a well to be sentenced to death by exposure to sunlight. The three tried to escape on the way but were apprehended by the guard vampire Ludwig. They however survived the well after Colin shielded them with an umbrella and helped them escape.

### *What We Do in the Shadows* (Season 3)

Arriving at the vampire residence after the Staten Island vampires once again ignored her ravens and calls, and effortlessly shrugging off attacks from Guillermo, she announced she beared an important message from the Supreme Worldwide Vampiric Council. In the form of a VCR recording, Viago congratulated the vampires and revealed to everyone present that, given Guillermo's murder of 70% of the most powerful vampires in the Tri-state area, Colin, Nadja and Nandor were to be named the new Vampiric Council of the Eastern Seaboard of the New World. Initially shocked and dismayed, due to the clear leadership quality drop compared to the countless fearsome and legendary councils she has served before, the Guide nevertheless agreed to assist them, citing the whole thing was above her pay grade anyway.

## Powers & Abilities

### Common Powers

The Guide has all the common abilities of a vampire which include:

* **Immortality:** Vampires do not age past the point from when they were turned and are thus unable to die from old age.
* **Enhanced Strength:** The Guide is easily able to throw a full-grown human across a room or fling them into a wall, breaking it.
* **Enhanced Speed:** Vampires are able to move extremely quickly, appearing as a blur. The Guide is incredible fast even for a vampire, so fast that it could be considered teleporting.
* **Enhanced Durability:** Vampires are able to shrug off mortal wounds that would kill a normal human.
* **Enhanced Senses:** Vampires have heightened senses, including enhanced hearing, smell and the ability to see in the dark.
* **Flight:** Vampires can levitate off the ground and fly unassisted.
* **Hypnosis:** Vampires possess a form of mind control through eye-contact and verbal commands. They can compel their victims to follow orders or erase their memories.
* **Shapeshifting:** A vampires can transform into different animal forms, such as bats or canines.
* **Regenerative Healing Factor:** A vampire's body will heal quickly when wounded.
* **Wall Crawling:** A vampire can climb walls without the use of tools or any kind of equipment.

### Unique Abilities

The Guide is among those vampires that has abilities unique to her.

* **Vapor Form**: The Guide can turn herself into a vapor form, often done in order to enter buildings by passing under doors or entering through a chimney. She prefers this form of flight over turning into a bat.
* **Teleporting:** The Guide is able to teleport short distances instantly.

### Witchcraft

Due to her exposure to the many rare and scared texts that are housed by the vampiric council of Staten Island, The Guide has some degree of proficiency in witchcraft.

* **Soul Reanimation:** Through a ritual and the use of specific souls, The Guide is able to temporarily bring dead humans back to life.
* **Soul Transference:** With the use of a crystal ball, The Guide can swap souls into other bodies.

## Weaknesses

The Guide has all the weaknesses that come with being a vampire:

* **Sunlight:** Will burn in sunlight, with even small amounts of exposure causing her to start smoking.
* **Wooden Stake:** A wooden stake to the heart will instantly kill her.
* **Decapitation:** If The Guide's head is cut off she will die.
* **Holy Water:** Contact will cause her skin to burn.
* **Garlic:** Contact will cause her skin to burn.
* **Silver:** Contact will cause her skin to burn.
* **Salt:** Contact will cause her skin to burn.
* **Blood Diet:** Without blood, The Guide will grow weak and become decrepit in appearance over time.
* **Invitation:** The Guide cannot enter a home or premises without an invitation from the owner.
* **Religious Imagery:** Will harm or frighten her. Prolonged exposure will cause her to burn and bleed from the eyes, even references as small as crossed fingers can repel her.
* **Religious Phrases:** Her mouth will catch fire if she tries to say religious phrases sincerely.
* **Homeland Soil:** The Guide cannot rest or regain her vampiric powers without sleeping within close proximity to soil from her place of birth.

## Trivia

* Her attraction to Guillermo, first shown in The Siren, is implied to stem from her previous affair with another descendant of the Van Helsing family.
* Based on her description of obsessions and compulsions, each marked by an overpowering "bad things will happen" energy, she relates to Laszlo during The Lamp, she seems to suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

## Appearances

* *What We Do in the Shadows* (TV series)
	+ **Season 1:** "The Trial"
	+ **Season 3:** "The Prisoner", "The Cloak of Duplication", "Gail", "The Casino", "The Chamber of Judgement", "The Escape", "The Siren", "The Wellness Center", "A Farewell", "The Portrait"
	+ **Season 4:** "Reunited", "The Lamp", "The Grand Opening", "The Night Market", "The Wedding", "Pine Barrens"

## References

1. ↑ WWDITS Cast - FX Networks
Johnson, Sam & Marcil, Chris (writers) & Gorskaya, Yana (director) (September 2, 2021). "The Cloak of Duplication". *What We Do in the Shadows*. Episode 22. FX.
Baram, Wally & Bullock, Aasia LaShay (writers) & Gorskaya, Yana (director) (July 12, 2022). "The Lamp". *What We Do in the Shadows*. Episode 32. FX.
Clement, Jemaine (writer) & Waititi, Taika (director) (May 8, 2019). "The Trial". *What We Do in the Shadows*. Episode 7. FX.
Simms, Paul (writer) & Newacheck, Kyle (director) (September 2, 2021). "The Prisoner". *What We Do in the Shadows*. Episode 21. FX.