Crime Pays

*Check Please!*

"**Crime Pays**" is the 11th episode of the first season of *Check Please!* Campaign One. It was first released on September 28th, 2019.

*"Last time, the Party explored the surreal landscape of the haunted Tellic Manor. Eventually, defeating the ghost of a crazed young noble, and leaving with a token of that once-great House, the Party managed to find their way back to civilization. But what awaits them back in the small village of Edge?"*

## Summary

The Party returns to Edge. After receiving a letter from Siva and deciphering more of Lovette's father's documents, they make their way south towards Fort Hawke. Along the way, they make some new friends and allies....

## Synopsis

### Return to Edge

The Party crosses the magical boundary from the Deadlands back into Edge and head towards the Dead Man's Rest. There, Tellie Talbert and Serwyn Vardale react in shock to the Party's reappearance, explaining that an entire year has passed since their initial departure. The Party members absorb this information; Lovette is particularly troubled, since her quest to find her father has been further delayed.

Lovette realizes that the documents she recovered from her father's makeshift camp in the Deadlands are for calculating the speed and trajectory of an asteroid or meteor hurtling towards Aedron, though it is impossible to determine when the object might strike. She emphasizes her need to head in that direction as soon as possible.

Serwyn delivers a long-overdue letter to Sol from Siva, inviting them and their companions to meet in Hartenshen with the prospect of potential work. Sol relays the offer to the rest of the Party. The Party agrees to remain together at least until they reach Fort Hawke, the first settlement south of Edge. They agree to rest a night at the tavern, lodging which Serwyn provides for free.

### All-Nighters

The following morning, Lovette has been hard at work all night repairing Archie and modifying him into a Centaur form that she can ride. Markus, delighted to see Tellie again, has also been spending time riding while hard at work.

Before departing, Sol privately restocks their supply of "inspiration"; their mood improves immediately. The other Party members attempt to sell some of the items they acquired in the Deadlands, but the owner of the General Store shows no interest. Markus accidentally insults Tellie in a clumsy attempt to offer her financial assistance; despite their shared night of passion, they separate on bad terms. The Party leaves Edge.

### Meeting the Harpies

After traveling for several hours, the Party notices a half-dozen flying creatures above them. Alarmed, they prepare for battle, but are relieved to quickly discover that the creatures are the friendly Harpies of the Feather-Freight Traders, traveling their usual route around the Southern Continent. The two groups discuss trade, and the Party is able to sell the jewelry recovered from the Tellic House for 850gp. As Sol excitedly bedecks the Harpies with their new shiny things, Vera purchases two new spears, and Lovette gives away porn, the Party spots two travelers approaching along the road.

### Enter Biff

As the travelers get nearer to the Party, it becomes noticeable that one is playing a lute with considerable skill, and that both individuals are adventurers with high-quality clothing and gear. This musician introduces himself as Biff, and his companion is Kull. Sol takes a keen interest in Biff's instrument but instinctively dislikes this other bard, annoyed that they might be a superior performer. After some casual conversation with the Party, Biff begins entering into discussion with the Harpies. At the Harpies' request, Biff gives a magnificent performance on his lute, further fueling Sol's jealousy. Biff and the Harpies enter into a breeding contract for 800gp; they all quickly leave together, without even saying goodbye or explaining their abrupt departure to the Party members. The Party continues along the road, with their bard rather pouty. They continue past Fort Hawke, pausing only to catch up on the news from the guards, who mention that iron prices have gone up, but that things in general are peaceful in Vil. The Party members agree to continue traveling together at least until the next big town, which will take them a few days to reach.

### Vera's Dream

As the Party rests one evening, Vera has a dream in which she is visited by a massive group of bees, from whose combined buzzing a faint but powerful voice instructs her: "Find the temple. Right the wrong." Vera has a momentary vision of an old stone building overgrown with vegetation. She wakes, knowing that she has just received a divine mission from Melifera.

### Hartenshen

The Party arrives in Hartenshen, where Sol immediately begins looking for Siva. The adventurers make their way to the city center. Markus prays at the Temple of Eden, seeking in vain for some insight into their true nature. At the Temple of Symphonia, Sol again encounters Biff. They are shocked to learn that Biff entered into a breeding contract with the Harpies, a kind of arrangement that Biff has entered into multiple (approximately 44) times in the past. Hearing Sol's passion for music, Biff requests a performance; Sol hesitantly complies, giving a combined vocal-instrument-lights performance that gathers a large and appreciate audience. Biff is genuinely impressed, complimenting Sol's talents and assuring them that they "have a great career ahead of them". Biff explains that he was charged by Symphonia to find and encourage Sol, and also reminds them that their abilities stem from more than just the inspiration of muse. He also implies that he knows the true identity of "Leena" and that other individuals are looking for them. Sol expresses disapproval and displeasure with Biff's freewheeling lifestyle and lack of involvement with his offspring, and rejoins Markus.

Sol explains to Markus, Vera, and Lovette that they wish to complete their tasks in the city as fast as possible, out of fear that someone is following them. Despite their past friction, the other Party members rally around Sol, agreeing to complete their tasks and get out quickly. The Party enters the Tower of Commerce, where they are met by an attendant who explains some of the details of the local economy to Lovette and assists her in refreshing ties with old business contacts. Mindful of Markus's quest from Ann-Lysse, Sol inquires after anyone named Tellic, but the name is not known. The Party members depart, heading towards the Palace.

### Waylaid

Out in the Hartenshen streets, an unknown and shoddily-clothed individual beckons the Party members into a deserted side street plaza, where they are suddenly surrounded by armed thugs. Violence is about to ensue with the impending mugging, but upon hearing the lead thug identify the ruffians as members of the Syndicate, Sol is delighted to drop Siva's name and explain her invitation to the Party to call on her in the city. Met with the lead thug's disbelief, Sol produces the Siva's letter, proving their story. The thugs, now respectful, sheath their weapons and depart, and the lead thug provides an escort to Siva's base of operations for the Syndicate: the Heartstring Taproom. Sol again produces the letter and shows it to the barman, who pours them a drink and leaves to inform Siva of the Party's arrival. Moments later, Siva steps out of her office.

## Key Points

Some of the major elements, references, and foreshadowing of story continuity and character development in this episode:

### Plot & Lore

* Harpies are introduced for the first time in the Fifth Campaign. Their depiction in Aedron's setting as pleasant and intelligent creatures differs dramatically from their ferocious and bestial nature in standard Pathfinder games. Biff describes them as "a hospitable people".
* Magical dentistry is established as a canon medical practice.
* Elves are established (semi-jokingly) as having perfect teeth as a racial characteristic.
* Biff the Cantankerous makes his first appearance in the Fifth Campaign, having previously appeared in one-shot side games. He mentions being the "fifty-somethingth" of that name; Sol assumes this to mean that the name is passed down within a family line, which Biff does not confirm. He shortly after mentions having received the name after signing a contract with Symphonia, from whom he receives direct orders.
* Vil is experiencing an iron shortage.
* Vera's deity Melifera has a crucial task for her. Similarly, Biff is in regular communication with Symphonia. Seemingly, at least some Aedronic deities are directly accessible to their followers.
* Muse is implied to be a popular and accepted recreational substance among bards, with Biff showing no hesitation in accepting some from Sol. Nevertheless, he gently reminds them that "they are more than what's in" their pouch of drugs.
* The Tower of Commerce attendant is unfamiliar with any nobles named Tellic.

### Character

#### Sol

* Sol asks Serwyn to refer to them as "Leena" should he mention their tale to any future travelers. They give this same name to Biff when Sol encounters him in Hartenshen. They later express what they'd previously hinted at: the fear that they are being followed.
* Sol spends 100gp to buy 20 fresh tabs of Muse, to replace those destroyed by Markus earlier in the season. They continue to use Muse to regulate their emotions.
* Sol is attracted to the Harpies, particularly Sephyth. They're also extremely excited to be reunited with Siva.
* Sol slips into their upper-class accent when dealing with the Harpies, along with the assumed role of Caroline Tellic.
* Despite their fear of large things, and perhaps owing to the influence of Muse, Sol makes friends with the Roc.
* Sol grows a little closer to Vera in their shared cattiness towards Biff.
* Sol shows a very insecure teenage attitude towards Biff, owing to the possibility that he is the superior musician; they do later express their love of music and explain that they've only been playing for a relatively short time.
* Sol casually mentions that their name was chosen for them, but not by their parents.
* So is uncomfortable with religion.
* Sol gives another rendition of the song they performed as Caroline in the Tellic House.
* Sol is upset by Biff not having a presence in his children's lives.

#### Vera

* Vera continues to warm to Sol, in one instance offering them a leather half-mask to help conceal their identity.
* Vera's importance to Melifera becomes clearer.
* Vera attempts to gain new members for the Church of Melifera, specifically reaching out to the poor and unhoused of the city of Hartenshen.
* The fact that Vera spied on Siva's letter to Sol is exposed, but Sol doesn't press the matter.
* Vera's stabbing of Siva on their last encounter is referenced.

#### Markus

* Markus and Tellie become acquainted in the Biblical sense. This will have absolutely no future repercussions whatsoever.
* Markus considers upgrading his ~~armor~~ bathrobe to include a magical cloak, but is unable to afford one.
* Markus feels more energized in town than on the road.
* Markus is kind towards Sol after noting their distress when they join him in the Temple of Eden.
* Markus seems unhappy with Sol's enthusiasm towards Siva.

#### Lovette

* Lovette shows awkward excitement at Sol's joking invitation to carry her. She's also seemingly delighted to hold Sol's hand when Sol is in distress.
* Lovette is introduced to the joys of Muse.
* Lovette drops a coin off in perfunctory worship of Shamish.
* Lovette offers to have Archie beat up any pursuers of Sol.
* The assistant at the Tower of Commerce notes that they've heard nothing from the McKinney-Bodwin family for some 18 months, and Lovette replies vaguely about internal struggles.

#### Archie

* Archie seems to express sadness and disappointment at being summoned only to be quickly returned to his ball form.

## Running Gags & Callbacks

* The erotic Pterodactyl novel liberated from the Tellic Manor is mentioned by Grem – apparently, Lovette was enthralled by it on the journey and regaled the rest of the Party with its saucy contents, much to the other members' discomfort and dismay. Lovette later attempts to gift the volume to the Feather-Freight Traders.
* Markus shows complete ineptitude with women, despite his best efforts at chivalry.
* The Players give Beardy good-natured grief about not having actual names for the two Fort Hawke guard NPCs, the Hartenshen gate guards, or the ceremonial Tower of Commerce guards. They'll pay for this later....
* Xeno jokes about having Screwy make a Knowledge: Religion check.
* Sol/Soul wordplay, this time by Grem. Beardy declined to issue pun damage, despite Screwy's request.
* Vera still has her heavy sack full of trophies from the Tellic house.
* Screwy puns on "pulling on the [doors of the] Heart String" tap room, but receives no damage.

## Memorable Quotes

* "The letter [from Siva] is perfumed, if that helps." "What does it smell like? What kind of perfume?" "... lavender?" "Cool." – Beardy and Keni
* "Yay! We did it, guys! Aaaaaaah! What does that mean?" – Keni, on the happy news of the Party's level bump.
* "I have food. I have good beetles and water.""Yeah, the Druid needs nothing else. He can just fuck off into the woods forever and be fine." – Beardy and Xeno, regarding provisions.
* "[Serwyn] will feed you a little bit. He'll give you some food for sure." "Is it mac 'n' cheese?" "I mean, it could be." – Beardy and Xeno, craving Kraft.
* "She spits at your feet and tells you to get out. [...] She thought there was something special, but you're just like all the rest." – Beardy, describing with merciless DM glee Tellie's reaction to Markus's sweet but ill-considered gesture.
* "Drugs are bad, mkay." – Screwy, deploying a South Park reference.
* "We've gotta go, this is bat country." – Screwy, channeling his inner Hunter S. Thompson.
* "Imagine an eagle that is big enough to eat elephants." – Beardy, vividly explaining Rocs to Keni.
* "You don't really know how they repopulate." "We hope to learn." "*I* hope to learn." – Beardy, Xeno, and Keni, on Harpy reproduction.
* "That thing also scares me too." – Sol, regarding their fear of big things and Archie in particular. For shame, Sol. For shame.
* "Elves always have perfect teeth. It's one of their racial bonuses." – Beardy, making lore.
* "Honestly, when you were first describing [Biff and companion], my brain was like 'Let's kill them and then steal their shit!'... but Sol would never do that. I think. I don't know. Hmm. I think it depends on the day." "Does Sol support murder in front of witnesses?" "Probably not. Probably without witnesses, though." – Keni and Xeno, exploring Sol's character.
* "I don't have nostalgia. I have hatred." – Sol/Keni, resisting the emotional power of Biff's music.
* "The life of a traveling bard is never easy. Well, sometimes it's easy. Actually, most of the time it's easy." – Biff, displeasing Sol immensely.
* "Oh. (beat) That's cool." – Keni, not having expected the crowd's rapturous reception of Sol's performance.
* "I don't know why I'm here." "Well, sometimes you just have to follow the music, ya know?" – Sol and Biff.
* "Groovy." – Biff
* "You never know when you have a sibling everywhere. It's kinda *fucking annoying*." – Sol, dropping further subtle hints about their unhappy home life.
* "I think someone I don't want to know that I'm here knows that I'm here, and I'm kinda scared." – Sol, opening up a little.
* "Well, fuck me." "I don't know. I don't really know you that well." – The lead thug, reacting to Sol's friendship with Siva, and Sol's either quick-witted or delightfully literal response.

## Trivia & References

* The standard Pathfinder language Common is referenced; within this homebrew campaign, it is effectively synonymous with Vilish.
* The Party reaches Level 2.
* Building up to the leveling announcement, Beardy explains that the Party members feel "a little bit stronger, a little bit faster, a little bit better than before" – a reference to the famous opening sequence of *The Six Million Dollar Man*.
* Screwy explains his character's attempted largesse towards Tellie as intended to be akin to a dowery. Traditionally, this would be the payment made to a groom by a bride's family; "bride price" or "bride service" refers to a similar payment made by a groom to a bride. In fairness, this might function differently in Aedron.
* The suggestion of acquiring supplies of food or water in-character is dismissed by players, since minor consumables are not tracked in the Campaign. This is hand-waved within the story by Vera's Druidic ability to produce "good beetles" and water on demand.
* Screwy's kids make background audio cameos, as do Beardy's doggos.
* Xeno puns off the name of the deity Symphonia, noting he's heard tales of her.
* Some of Hartenshen's finest guards: Karl and Gunter at the gates, and Vincent Newhouse and Clemens Reinhardt in ceremonial positions outside the Tower of Commerce.
* Keni likens Biff's whistling and lute-strumming to a tune from Disney's animated *Robin Hood*; another player (Screwy?) happily provides it.
* At least one player imagines the half-mask Vera offers to Sol as resembling the one made famous by *The Phantom of the Opera*.

## The Dice

*These are estimates, since not all rolls are called or broken down out loud.*

* Vera at one point rolls a 20 on Perception, but it is not clear from context whether this is Natural or not.