Episode 203 - The Race

## Intro

**Episode description:**
It's on like Irpaks-kong

**Opening Quote:**
*"Wait, wait, wait! Hold on! Evasion."*—Stephanie
*"No."*—Lauren

**Player introduction:**
Lauren, *"Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Tabletop Champions. I'm Lauren, your dungeon master, and with me tonight we have Stephanie, who plays Raquel."*

Stephanie, *"Stupidity got us into this mess and stupidity will get us out!"*

Lauren, *"Oh my god that's so accurate. Matt, who plays Fanel."*

Matt, *"What is a martial arts favored green? Chaya!"*

Lauren, *"Boo!"*

Matt, *"I made that one up!"*

Lauren, *"Aw, I'll give you props to that. Kyle, who plays Irpaks."*

Kyle, *"I used to be with it. Then they changed what 'it' was! Now, what I'm with isn't it! And what's it seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you too!"*

Lauren, *"Sean who plays Clover."*

Sean, *"Simpsons quote!"*

Lauren, *"And Ben, who plays Throden."*

Ben, *"I played a character descendant from an angel of the lord of flies. But the other players kept mocking me for the character. They would jeer: 'Sucks your Aasimar!'"*

Matt, *"Oh."*

Sean, *"Man, you guys got some work to do."*

Kyle, *"I didn't get it."*

Ben, *"Then I'll have to assign you some reading."*

Matt, *"Hey Ben? I was sick already. That just made me worse."*

## Episode Summary

### At the gates of Goblin City

The adventurers are back in a forest in the *Plane of Mischief*, after they each have experienced a prophetic vision in episode 202. Raquel hurries the others along to a large castle they can see in the distance.

A tall, thick wall with large iron gates awaits them. When Irpaks knocks at the gate, it comes to life and its parts form a giant iron golem with a large axe, and the group has to fight it. During the battle, Fanel and Clover spot a child on top of the wall, whom they recognize as Dawn.

Once they have overcome the golem, they walk through the gates and find the massive **Goblin City**, but it is silent and void of people. After a moment, a horde of goblins appears to chase them, but Throden shreds them through his *Spike Growth*. Meanwhile, Dawn's eyes turn black and her body shifts into a hag. She then dashes for the castle gate, and the group realizes they are in a race to the finish.

### There's no place like home

Clover and Irpaks turn into giant eagles, flying after Dawn. The others attack her as best they can, but Throden's grapple brings her to a halt. Then Clover touches the castle gates, a ringing signal sounds, confetti and fireworks fire off, and Grifto the Magnificent, a Halfling man with bushy sideburns, appears. Grifto says they have won the race, and turns the loser, Dawn, into a goblin.

Irpaks asks why they were supposed to save Dawn, but Grifto says he made that challenge up. Clover is eager to go home, but Grifto warns him that he won't like what he finds back in Irulan. He then hands them a crystal ball which will send them back.

When Irpaks smashes the ball to pieces, the group again falls in mid air, through a dark shaft, watching bright colors and glitter all around them. In the end, they find themselves back in the sewers of Trenton, but are greeted only by silence.

## Memorable Quotes

**Stephanie,** *"I'm a motherfuckin' toad, Sean!"*

## Trivia

* The adventurers are level seven.
* The *Sun and Branches Order* does not have a patron deity, though they are very religious.