Cagney and Lacey

## Production

**Episode:** 54

**Date:** April 16, 1986

**Time:** 50:54

**Musical Director:** Ronnie Aldrich

**Vocals:** The Ladybirds

**Choreography:** Libby Roberts

**Producer:** Dennis Kirkland

**Director:** Dennis Kirkland

**Writer:** Benny Hill

## Episode

* Quickie: The Forgotten Wallet
* Opener: Bijou Burlesque
* Quickies - 3
* Funny Old World
	+ Benny the Bum
* Quickies - 3
* Proverbs and Anecdotes
* Quickie: Doctor in a Hurry
* New York Benny
* The Edited Sketch
* Quickies - 2
* Cagney & Lacey
* Tag: Hospital Hi-Jinx

## Highlights

* Benny stars in an "Edited Sketch" as its being Edited by Henry McGee and Jon Jon Keefe.
* Benny plays both characters in a spoof of the American crime drama TV-series "Cagney & Lacey."

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Anna Dawson
* Henry McGee
* Bob Todd
* Helen Horton
* Jon Jon Keefe
* Lorraine Doyle - Hill's Angel
* Kathy Staff
* Len Keyes
* Christine Pilgrim
* Sydney Arnold
* Sue Upton
* Samantha Spencer-Lane - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Alison Thomas - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Tracy Smith - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Katie Randall - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Vanessa Biddulph - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Emma Bryant - Hill's Angel (uncredited)

## Quotes

* **Benny Hill**  - "So what does your boyfriend call you, honey?"
**Sue Upton**  - "My boyfriend calls me Dimples."
**Benny Hill**  - "Dimples. Isn't that sweet? I don't see any dimples."
**Sue Upton**  - "You're not my boyfriend!"

* **Benny Hill**  - "She's very high class. She doesn't say, "Yoohoo." She says, "Yoo-whom!""

* **Benny Hill**  - "She goes into a restaurant. She gets a bacon sandwich with a side salad."

* **Benny Hill**  - "Well, honey, looks aren't everything."
**Lorraine Doyle**  - "In your case, they're not anything."

* **Benny Hill**  - "She's so dumb she think's a trifle is a three-headed rifle."

* **Benny Hill**  - "If she does a crossword and it says "To egg on," she puts toast."

* **Benny Hill**  - "It was so good I had it once with chips and once with a side salad."

* **Wall Graffiti** - "Why do elephants have four feet? 'Coz they'd look stupid with six inches."

* **Wall Graffiti** - "Why does Siberia have long snow storms while England has Bernard Manning? Siberia had first choice."

* **Restaurant Signage** - "If you think our waiters are rude, you should see the manager."

* **Restaurant Signage** - "Our water is fine for drinking. It has been passed by the health inspector."

* **Wall Graffiti** - "Tubby or not tubby - Fat is the question."

* **Wall Graffiti** - "Don't complain about our tea. You'll be old and weak yourself one day."

* **Miriam Fudpucker**  - "Why don't you stop drinking for my sake?"
**Barney Fudpucker**  - "I don't drink for your sake. I drink for mine."

* **Miriam Fudpucker**  - "Why do you drink so much?"
**Barney Fudpucker**  - "Because it's cheaper than sending you to a beauty parlor."

* **Miriam Fudpucker**  - "And don't forget to empty the garbage."
 **Barney Fudpucker**  - "You cooked it. You empty it."

* **Miriam Fudpucker**  - "What would the neighbors think if I ran around here naked?"
**Barney Fudpucker**  - "They'd think I married you for your money."

* **Miriam Fudpucker**  - "If you keep wearing a hat, you'll go bald."
**Barney Fudpucker**  - "If I keep wearing a hat, no one will know!"

* **Henry the Neighbor**  - "Your wife?"
**Barney Fudpucker**  - "Would I have a maid as ugly as that?"

## Trivia

* In "Bijou Burlesque," Sue Upton plays the USA and Anna Dawson is France. Other countries/regions represented are England, China, Netherlands, and Latin America.
* Scenes from this episode appear in the "Benny Hill's Crazy World" VHS.
* This was Samantha Spencer-Lane's last appearance in the series.

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** The Herd
* **Next Episode:** The Halitosis Kid