Episode 58 - Busted Knees

## Intro

**Jason**: Hello, and wes- Hello, and welcome Celestial Expanse, a real play D&D podcast set in the Celestial Expanse universe. My name is Jason, and I'll be playing everyone's favorite heretic elf, Theran. Tonight, you will witness a conflagrant portable garbage receptacle, afloat in space, headed to destinations heretofore - . But now, I want to introduce the Decomposer of Douchebaggery, the Foreman of Fornicating Skyward, the Numero Uno of rolling numero uno, our friendly neighborhood GM Matthew.
**Matt**: Heyyy.
**Jason**: Do you think, Matt, do you think men like yourself pee in the shower?
**Matt**: Yeah.
**Jason**: Good answer. Ben! Playing Rell. Have you ever had a cold sore, Ben?
**Ben**: No?
**Jason**: Rebecca! Who isn't a bitch, but plays one called Martle on CE.
**Rebecca**: Yeah.
**Jason**: Did you get a kiss at the car, Rebecca?
**Rebecca**: I did yeah.
**Jason**: That's my girl.
**Natalia**: Awwww.
**Matt**: You can hear the blush on her face now.
**Natalia**: Yeah.
**Jason**: You can hear the blush on her. Boston! Playing Juniper. Do you have a tattoo that your undergarments cover, Boston?
**Boston**: Error 404: Item not found.
**Jason**: Natalia! Playing Z. Do women pee in the shower like men Natalia, and lie about it?
**Natalia**: Uhhh, yes they do and no they don't lie about it, I mean some might but I don't.
**Jason**: I love you more now than I did before. Lastly, Mitch playing Z-rial! Do you vape, and if so, can I take your man card?
**Mitch**: Uh, I don't vape, no.
**Jason**: That's my boy. Back to you, Matt!
**Matt**: I'm pretty sure I saw Mitch vape once on stream.
**Natalia**: It's not technically vaping.
**Mitch**: It's not a vape.
**Jason**: Uh oh.
**Mitch**: It twas a...
**Natalia**: CBD pen.
**Jason**: Man card in Jeopardy.
**Mitch**: ... a wax pen.
**Matt**: Ah okay.
**Jason**: A wax pen. Are those like wax lips?
**Mitch**: No, it's a like a...
**Jason**: Wax moustaches?
**Mitch**: It's a...
**Matt**: They're for dabbing.
**Mitch**: Yeah, like a THC pen basically.
**Natalia**: Eh, [inaudible]
**Jason**: I saw a nine year old dab once. It was while he was whipping a nae nae. I don't think you mean that kind of dabbing, do you.
**Mitch**: No.
**Jason**: Okay. Back to you, Matt!
**Matt**: Okay then. I guess it's gonna be one of those episodes alright, it's gonna be a shitshow, but -
**Rebecca**: Are you surprised?
**Matt**: No?
**Jason**: Do we have other types of episodes?
**Rebecca**: We don't!
**Matt**: I think the entire series has been a shitshow, but for some reason people like it, so we'll keep it up.
**Rebecca**: It's a fun shitshow.
**Natalia**: We love it.

## Summary

### Episode Description

The Crew finally make it to the asteroid of Parliament and are immediately accosted by zombies of various strains. Battle Royale anyone?

### Summary

Picking up slightly before the end of last episode, the crew is faced with a horde of zombies that all seem to be waiting for something. They discuss what to do, and Z attempts to sneak in, but sets off a metal detector. As the zombie horde turns aggressive, she fires Death's Cradle and throws a hand axe from the catwalk, then jumps down into the horde of 20 zombies to retrieve it. They discover that one zombie has a kind of natural armor provided by its fat. Juniper takes out eight zombies with an ice storm. A shedder gets in a lucky hit on Rell, breaking his femur and weakening him. Z trips and falls next to him. Rell stands up, supporting himself on his staff, then accidentally hits himself, but manages to punch out a zombie as well. Z's remaining flesh arm gets broken as a zombie slams into it. A large zombie starts throwing zombies at the party, hitting Martle. Martle tosses Rell a healing syringe, which mends his leg. A zombie takes a bite out of Juniper, healing itself. The crew eventually defeat the zombies, and the episode ends as they hear an elevator go "Ding!"

## Memorable Quotes

**Theran *(whispering)***: We should just go.
**Martle**: I mean yeah, that would be the smart thing, but are we smart?
**Theran *(whispering)***: I don't like when you say "we" and "smart" in the same sentence.

**Jason**: This whole region loves Fireball. See it there? This, this good. That's good for a Fireball.
**Matt**: For those who can't see this, Jason's having a really fun time with the arrow tool.
**Jason**: I'm circling all the spaces that aren't us.

**Jason**: You find a small divot in the ground, causing you to lose your footing and fall until you're laying next to the broken-legged-ass Rell. Both of you lay there pathetically for a moment, looking at each other breathlessly and saying, "What have we done? My god."

**Natalia**: I'm down to 63.
**Ben**: What, down to 63?! That's more than my maximum!

**Ben**: Well, I was gonna go help Martle who's fighting two guys, but then Z decided she was gonna go fight two guys and they're bigger.

## Trivia

* Despite accidentally retconning a bit, Z still managed to set off the zombie horde via metal detector in both episodes.
* The full intro went on for over four minutes.