Irresistible Force

Nicole Taylor

"And what's your name?"

I blink. The name is there, of course, I know it is, but transferring it from brain to mouth would take mental effort I'm currently expending on analyzing myself and determining my current abilities - and there are many. Which is good, but only if I know how to use them.

Too much time has passed. "I can't remember right now." It's almost the truth.

By the time I concentrate on the conversation again, it turns out our greeter is Merces. We hate her, and the others want to kill her, but remembering why we hate her is too much effort. The mission comes first.

*It's your fault, you know*, the voice says, and it's nothing I haven't already thought to myself a few dozen times during the past week. Patricia got possessed by Asmodeus, Nicole went in guns blazing, and we're all to blame for not noticing the breadcrumbs Patricia tried to leave for us, but I'm the reason Abigail was there in the first place. Me and my stupid need for a legacy.

*Don't forget the civilians in Sweden. Dead, because of you. Because you didn't analyze things properly, and your plan A was brute violence, as always.* Even if I didn't know all of that already, the blood I can't wash off my hands tells me the voice is right.

I can't make that voice stop, so I'll have to make the others stop talking. "Look, if we're not going to eat her, we need to find something we *can* use as energy source." The others pause, confused, but Merces smiles and hands me three soul coins. Perfect. I put two in my pocket and drain the energy from the third, storing part of it in myself and turning the rest into fuel for the RV. The fact that doing so puts them out of their misery isn't enough to stop my deed from fueling the voice.

Someone sends Merces elsewhere for a bit, and the others start arguing again. This is pointless. I tell them to get into the RV, and hit the gas. "Run her over", Nicole says. "Run her over", Patricia says. *Run her over*, the voice says. I swerve around and barely avoid the real vehicles.

It's not all bad, I suppose. In the world of the living, driving the RV through the Tunnel would have required invisibility mode and a lot of paperwork afterwards. Not now, though.

As we drive through England, Nicole finds various shortcuts, which somehow end up reducing our travel time by half. No amount of shortcuts can bypass the Irish Sea, though, so we have to sneak onto a living-world ferry.

A ferryman stands in our way, and demands a soul coin each as payment. Since we're down to two coins, and we're not sacrificing one of us for a discount, I offer to manifest myself in the living world and cross that way. Patricia uses her phone to call Charon instead, and discovers we're not dealing with a legitimate ferryman, but a spectre. We decide to drive through him onto the ferry, but I make a blunder while switching gears, and he ends up inside the RV instead. Nicole gives it her all, and manages to erect a ward strong enough to cast him out.

In Ireland, the others want to visit the orphanage, but I have another idea, and since I'm driving, we visit the Hill of Tara first. The others try to be stealthy. I yell out for the locals. After a terse conversation with 9 angry fey ghosts, we find ourselves being accompanied by two of them on our quest - and one of them *should* be Abigail, but isn't. Not really.

We drive to the orphanage, and Nicole and I use our abilities to whisper to the living. Nicole suffers damage from a swing by Stefanie, but the smartest of the kids is able to explain to us that we still need to find the human part of Abigail - by explicitly telling us she *doesn't* have one. Bound to lie and all that.

A phone call to Levi later, we head out to the house of Abigail's human parents. Three fancy cars, two daughters younger than Abigail, and one human ghost crying because her mother won't talk to her. The others head inside while I stare at the two girls who look so much like Abigail.

"What did you do to mommy?!"

The yell interrupts my thoughts, and I force my 'body' to go through the door. By the time I'm corporeal again, the girl has screamed, and it's obvious that scream injured Patricia and Nicole. Patricia tries to recover her reputation, but human-Abigail won't listen. Her Shadow is obviously quite strong, too, which we'll need to fix, but doing so will hurt her, and telling a scared and angry girl to just heal herself won't work.

I quickly analyze our options and step forward, being careful not to let her notice my voice is more soothing than it should be, and manage to calm her down, after which I explain the plan. "We can reduce the pain in your mind, but doing so will cause pain to your body. However, I can then absorb that pain into myself."

"Why would you help me?", she asks, and a thousand daggers pierce my heart. "You're a crying child - why *wouldn't* I help you?" She falls into my arms and bawls.

Nicole gets to work, and I hold human-Abigail's hand. By the time I'm done healing the damage I absorbed from her, I'm almost out of energy and the others are ready to leave. I give Patricia my last bit of energy, then drain a second coin. Not wanting to walk through a closed door again, Patricia sabotages the father's computer, and he ends up throwing it out a window in frustration. He runs down to pick it off the lawn, and we hurriedly follow him outside.

I look around, at the three cars that she's not allowed to use for driving lessons, the sisters they didn't allow her to have, and the house with piano that they didn't allow her to live in, all because she wasn't 'normal' enough for them, and the darkness that fills me is entirely my own. "You go ahead, I'll catch up", I say. Although it's a relief that they don't ask why, I can't help but wonder - are they too focused on the mission, do they not want Abigail to hear my answer, or is this more of the same complacency that kept us from realizing something was wrong with Patricia?

The RV leaves, I wait until the father is back inside and the girls are out of sight, and then I say the first thing to the voice that isn't a variation of "shut up": "This one is a freebie". I close my eyes, let the energy flow through me, and for a few brief moments I am alive again. As I feel the sunlight on my skin, I place my hands - not bloodstained, and fortunately still gloved - on the hoods of two of the cars, and let the energy, Primal this time, flow through me. Pure heat radiates through the hoods, I smell the engine parts melting together, and I feel the disapproving stare of the universe - and then the life fades from me, and I am back in the realm of the dead, the voice snickering.

By the time I catch up, the others are almost done convincing the two parts of Abigail to merge again, and shortly later, Abigail as we know her is sitting in the car with us. We head to the orphanage, and I start to plan how much energy to transfer to the RV so we can drive back, but Patricia calls Levi again, and the bodies are teleported to us. Nicole jumps back into her body first, which almost gets her re-killed by Stefanie, and the rest of us hurriedly follow.

As the changelings prepare for celebrations, I hear the voice again: *I think I will like it here*.

## Light at the End of the Tunnel

“Hey Matthew.”

“Hey, Nicole. Been holding up okay?”

“Yeah, okay I guess...”

“You don’t really sound okay.”

“Yeah, the whole dying thing made a bigger impression than I thought.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really, but I suppose I have to. Apparently, it’s ‘healthy for the soul’.”

“It probably is. And Levi would agree, I’d wager.”

“Well it’s Levi that said it.”

“Huh. Oh well. So, I hope it didn’t hurt too much?”

“The being burned alive part? Oh, no, that part was fine. I mean, it was certainly weird, but the flames were more comfortable than hot. You know, in a vaguely unsettling kind of way.”

“So it was the being dead part that was bad?”

“Yeah. I mean, I figured, I’ve been to Entropic space before. I even ‘died’ that one time with Charon. But this was different. Realer, somehow.”

“What happened after the ritual? Where did you end up?”

“Well, I started in one of those ghost-flesh egg-sacks. It was a weird feeling, everything was muted and distant and vague. But before long, someone cut me free.”

“What do they use to do that?”

“Now that you mention it… I didn’t check. Guess I was still a bit dazed. Anyway, she cut open Patricia and Franklin as well, and gave us a whole introduction speech. But something was off.”

“I’ve heard of ‘Reapers’ trying to scrounge up souls to use in soulforges. Was it something like that?”

“Wait, now you tell me? But no, it’s not that. It took a while, and Patricia noticed it first. We knew her.”

“Well she greeted you, so…”

“No, she wasn’t a friend. I told you about Merces, right?”

“Wait. She’s still around? How?”

“Yeah, we never got around to tracking her around after the last time.”

“Well that was bad news.”

“Actually, it was surprisingly tame. Turns out being a ghost is boring? And apparently she can’t do anything as a ghost, and is now contempt with ‘watching the world die from the sidelines’.”

“Surely you don’t believe that?”

“Well of course not. But she wasn’t a priority, and ghosts are hard to kill. Especially as a ghost. Well, I think anyway – and that was kind of the problem.”
“So she left you alone?”

“She actually wanted to come with. Patricia even agreed – guilty conscience, I guess – but, well, that wasn’t going to happen. Franklin drove us off in the end while she wasn’t looking.”

“Good, that’s – wait, drove? What?”

“Oh yeah he had his van with him.”

“That’s… not supposed to happen.”

“Well it did. Was a good thing too, we needed that. Patricia had a phone, too. I had sunglasses. Maybe a coat? Clothes are kind of weird when you’re an EDE.”

“Did they work?”

“Oh yeah. Well, the phone didn’t have reception, but that’s less to do with the phone and more with the lack of cell towers.”

“Did it still have games?”

“Yup. Those came in handy too. See, we appeared in Antwerp, but Abigail lives in Ireland. Grew up there too. So that’s the most logical place for her to hang out.”

“Ah, that’s where the van came in.”

“Yup, road trip. Also where the games came in.”

“Cosy.”

“Well, not so much. See, that’s also where we first really started to notice that the little voice in our heads weren’t little voices in our heads.”

“Shadows?”

“We heard them before, of course. But sitting in an hours long car ride with 3 people has a tendency to make you confront your darker side. And it was a tad more vocal than usual. Even Patricia’s.”

“Exchanging an avatar for a shadow. Yeah, that’s a bad deal.”

“We held out okay, mind you. Distracting lot, but not much more – well, at that moment anyway. Luckily, it seemed we still had some inkling of our Enlighted Science left – or, I guess, a shadow of it. Fitting, really.”

“Is that how you managed to cross the seas with your van?”

“Oh no, we took the tunnel for that. You know the train one. Bumpy ride, but fast enough. Plus, one of the things I could do was find us some shortcuts through the tempest. Cut the travel time in half.”

“So how’d you get to Ireland?”

“We took a ferry for that. Patricia’s phone had some maps.”

“Well that’s more normal than a train tunnel, at least.”

“Not so fast. See, there was a ferryman. And he demanded payment to cross. One coin each.”

“I assume he didn’t take pennies?”

“Nope. Luckily, we had two left – Franklin put one in the van’s tank.”

“Wait. Hold on. In the van’s tank? Also, where did you get soul coins from?”
“Oh yeah, he could transfer the energies around. Sort of like with Prime? And Merces gave them to us.”

“Why?”

“Hmm, not sure… I guess we should repay her for those.”

“Er, no, you absolutely do not.”

“Anyway I’m getting off point here. So, ferryman wanted three coins, he wanted two. He said he’d settle for just one of us, but well, that wasn’t going to happen. So Patricia called Charon – “

“Because of course you have his number.”

“You sound like Senex. Anyway, Charon answers. Patricia figured we could bum a free ride off of him. But no, the whole ferrymen thing was a scam, they only transport people through the tempest. And they have a train too? Anyway, this one was a fake. Entropic Extra-dimensional entity – Spectre, once I took a closer look.”

“How’d you get around that?”

“More like ‘through’. Franklin has a one-track mind sometimes. Well, often. Although, turns out running through spectres doesn’t work well, and now we had a spectre in the van.”

“That’s bad.”

“Well, yes and no. We got to the boat at least. And I have enough experience with spectres to ward against them. So I warded the ferry.”

“Ooh nice. Guess he couldn’t swim?”

“No. Or maybe just didn’t want to. As we saw later, ancient tentacle monsters have ghosts too…”

“Wait what?”

“Yeah. But they don’t like boats. So, we got to Ireland safe and sound.”

“Okay then. Did you know where to look next?”

“We had some options. The orphanage was one, but Franklin thought the Hill of Tara was the best first bet.”

“I bet that place has some ghost.”

“It was actually less populated than I expected. Lots of stuff though. Anyway, we didn’t really have time to look – we were confronted by nine ancient wraithy figures pretty quickly.”

“None too friendly I assume?”

“Actually they were okay. Well, a bit stand-offish. But when Franklin mentioned his knighthood – “

“His whatnow?”

“Oh yeah, he got knighted by a fey queen once. Plus I think Abigail gave him a title once? I didn’t really keep track. So anyway, after that they become… well not ‘chatty’, but they were willing to hear us out at least.”

“Did they know where Abigail was?”

“Well, that’s the thing. One of them was Abigail. Sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“Yeah. He didn’t remember being, well, herself. Called himself Lugh.”

“Wait, the god?”

“Yeah. Well, old fey lord, god. Kind of meshes. Anyway, I confirmed it was her by looking into the way that he died…”

“Ouch, that must’ve been painful.”

“Yeah… My shadow was sure to rub that one in. Well, once we told them we were looking for an old friend of ours, they assigned two people to assist us. One of them being Abigail. So that went well.”

“That sounds almost too easy.”

“It was. Do you know what changelings are?”

“I’m not an expert, but… half fey, half human, right? This was the fey half?”

“I don’t think he’d agree to the term ‘half’. But yes. So, we had the human part to find.”

“Where did you start?”

“Well, the orphanage was close by, so we stopped there first. Stefanie was there with the kids – we wanted to see if ‘Lugh’ recognized them. No dice. Also, Stefanie was not amused I was there. Oh, that reminds me, don’t tell Shadow to ‘attack’.”

“Sure… why?”

“Well Stefanie was cat-sitting. Turns out Shadow is good at learning tricks… So anyway, no reaction, but one of the smarter kids confirmed the half-soul theory.”

“Is this where you read tarot?”

“Patricia told you that, did she? Yes – and before you start, I have a perfectly valid reason why that worked.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“It didn’t turn up much though. Except that we were on a time limit – Lugh was supposed to go away again in a couple of days. But my team in Antwerp came through – turns out, she’s not an orphan, and her parents are still alive. With two sisters too. Apparently, she was a ‘problem child’ after becoming a changeling.”

“That’s terrible!”

“We found her in the house without much issue. See, she found her mother – but her mother wouldn’t respond to her. And that hit her deep.”

“That must’ve been a horrible feeling for her.”

“Yeah, that’s worse as a ghost. Her shadow was having a field day with it.”
“Poor girl.”

“Patricia tried to cheer her up by making her mother sing a song, but that backfired spectacularly. Ear-piercing scream doesn’t begin to describe it. Me apologizing didn’t really help, either. Franklin managed to break through, however. Abigail didn’t recognize him as such, but she still trusted him.”

“Enough for her to come along?”

“We helped quell her shadow first. Good old therapy. Well, ghost therapy. And it’s not really ‘good’ so much as ‘painful’ – luckily Franklin had a thing to help her with that.”

“So you brought the two halves together again. How did Lugh feel about it all?”

“He was surprisingly chill. He didn’t remember Abigail, but he did believe us when we told him. He didn’t really believe that we could bring back the dead, but we explained that we did most of the hard work already. And he took care of the merging – before long, the Abigail we knew was before us.”

“As a ghost?”

“Yeah, he couldn’t fix that. But like I said, the hard work was done. Abigail didn’t really believe me when I apologized for shooting her. She thought that the demon tricked me. But she was happy to come along. All we had to do was get back to our bodies.”

“Back in Antwerp?”

“Oh, yeah. Levi helped with that – he figured bringing our bodies to Ireland was easier than the other way around. His delivery could have been more… thoughtful. So, back to the orphanage it was. Franklin stayed behind for a bit. Not sure what he did, but he sure was cheerful when he got back. I almost pity the parents…”

“Almost.”

“Well, I confirmed that just jumping in your body worked.”

“You realize that it’s not ‘just’ jumping in the body, but the culmination of epic magical energies converging at the apex of a mythical arcane ritual, right?”

“Oh you’re always so dramatic. Point is, we all hopped back in. Abigail got hugged a lot, happy ending.”

“Good.”

“So yeah. Levi was right, it does feel a lot better to talk about it.”

“Sounds more like an adventure if you tell it that way.”

“I mean, it was still a freaky experience, but hey, it was my own fault.”

“Aww, don’t say that.”

“Except… that’s not all of it.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Turns out, that shadow thing? It kind of stuck.”

“Oh. Less good.”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s still mostly just annoying whispers. But… it’s kind of freaking me out.”

“I can only imagine. Is that why Senex told me to keep an eye out for you?”

“Probably. Levi asked him for help, I think. He’s more of an expert on the matter.”

“Well, at least you got the best therapists you can get.”

“I guess so. Although maybe Senex meant it in another way. I don’t think my shadow likes you.”

“Nah, I’m sure that’s not what he meant. And we’ll get over this. You’re the most stubborn person I know, no way that some shadow can get the better of you.”

“Yeah. Hopefully.”