DPDA Case No. 20

Cecil Longstaff

Bernard Smith

Tim Crescent

Andrew Stanley William Filmore Wiggleton

Alexandria Chantelle Louise Victoria Wiggleton

Darius Giuseppe Cosmo Rupert Wiggleton-Pulchellus

The 20th case of the DPDA took place from the 17th of May 1995 to the 24th of May 1995. The following case report is written by Benjamin Sellars.

## Introduction

At 6:50 AM, the DPDA Office was visited by philanthropist, Andrew Wiggleton. Cecil Longstaff (who will be reffered to as Cecil from hereon out) was the only person present at the Office at the time. This was because the previous night the DPDA had an office party, and Cecil was so drunk that he fell asleep at his desk. Andrew Wiggleton (Who will be referred to as Andrew from hereon out) reported that a gang of criminal thugs had threatened him that if Andrew did not provide him with a metric ton of cocaine, he would burn Andrews' estate down, and kidnap his family. Cecil went outside, and activated the Pepper signal. Denzel Pepper (who will be referred to as Denzel from hereon out) arrived with Bernard Smith (who will be referred to as Bernard from hereon out). I arrived an hour later, and questioned Andrew. As Andrew was a rich man, naturally, he would have a lot of enemies unrelated to him.

Denzel compiled a small batch of evidence, and all detectives headed to Birmingham on the 18th of May. We were driven there partly by Cecil, and partly by Bernard. Cecil got too drunk to continue driving partway through, so Bernard had to take the wheel. We stopped at a Diskotek after Bernard getting furious of Cecil constantly insisting that we do so. Whilst we were at the diskotek, we ran into a gang of bikers who challenged us to a dance-off. Cecil organised an extensive dance-routine to the hit song ''Agadoo'' by Black Lace. Denzel was very excited by this, and ran to the local Asda to buy some quick decorations. These decorations included a bubble machine, tin foil, a large tree, an arched door-frame which he spray-painted gold and hung golden beaded strings off of. The Dance Routine was as following:

Once the words ''Agadoo'' came in, Bernard ran in and performed a triple spin-jump and the splits. After Bernard did the splits, Denzel ran and jumped over him with a frontflip. Myself and Tim came in from the sides and clicked our fingers and raised our left and right legs to the beat of the song. Cecil came in through the beaded string doorway and performed a kick whilst performing a classical Vietnamese dance into the direction of this gang. The rest of the routine is too amazing to describe.

We won the dance-off, and left the Diskotek. We arrived at Wiggleton Estate at 3:37 AM, 19th of May 1995. We were all given our own rooms. Cecil stayed up partying all nite with Denzel and Andrew. Alexandria (the wife of Andrew) was interviewed and questioned by Tim. The one year old, Darius Wiggleton was completely oblivious to everything.

## Findings

The findings were as following:

* It is likely that a local criminal gang named Birmingham Steel made the threat.
* It is likely that the criminals are expecting that Andrew Wiggleton does not own cocaine, and thus would resort to giving them money.
* It is likely that they wanted money in the first place.

Denzel volunteered to go undercover with the Birmingham Steel gang. He gave himself the identity of James Bean - a local man who enjoyed watching television and had a beloved Teddy bear. He wore a brown suit with a white shirt and a red tie. Denzel managed to find out the location of the meeting place of the Birmingham Steel gang, and walked in the meeting hall, claiming he knows the former leader of the gang. With Tim's research, Denzel knew the name of the previous gang leader, who is now dead. Pepper became very popular with the gang, and wholly embraced his James Bean persona. He had a party with the gang members, and bought them 15,000 GBP worth of alcohol. This clearly prompted them to trust Denzel, as they thought no one was devoted enough to spend 15,000 GBP to bust them. However, they clearly hadn't met Denzel Pepper. Denzel found out their entire plan

We entered their Meeting Place at 3:32 AM, on the 20th of May. Cecil replaced their water dispenser with a rum dispenser. We riddled the room with hidden microphones which would playback the audio of their meetings to us. We have discovered that they planned to burn down the Wiggleton estate with one year old Darius in there to prove a point to the West Midlands Police force.

## Gallery

Denzel at the DiskoAndrew Wiggleton at the disko