SIDE SESSION 14.5: ORIS RECEIVES A VISITATION

**TL;DR: A weird gnome gave Oris a magic wand for no reason.**

* **On a dark and windy night, a creepy, single-eyed, hunch-backed Gnome, in a bent little cap with tarnished, brass-buckled shoes shows up at Oris’ door bearing a package. He gives Oris the package and says something like "Cousin Lorelei", and possibly, "tea with the Queen", or, "Brie eating teen", or "fleeing the scene". Then goes poof and is gone.**
* **The package smells like the desert. When presented to Gilda, she mumbles something about “Mummies” and goes back to sleeping on a pile of towels and underwear. Oris very carefully opens the package. A verrrrry strange magic wand is inside, with no note or other explanation. Oris takes it into his magic circle to test it. Bippity boppity boo!**

* + **EUPHORIA FILLS ORIS**
* **Oris runs outside, whooping and hollering. He prestidigitates a bunch of dancing lights over his house. Then he points the wand at a tree. ABRACADABRA!**

* + **Oris can now hear what the tree is thinking.**
* **Oris points the wand at a funny-shaped rock and hollers, “EXCALIPOOF!”**

* + **Oris becomes 11 feet tall. He is also able to lift the giant rock with ease. He then begins to cackle.**
* **Oris points the wand at a bat passing overhead. Hinklesnork!**

* + **The sky is filled with butterflies. Oris prestidigitates them to sing the national anthem.**
* **Obviously, Oris still has NO IDEA what this magic wand does but figures he should probably ask around. He goes into town to see if anyone saw the goblin. At the Three Roses, Oris is too large to fit in through the door! He crawls into the pub and looks around for his friends. None of his squad are there. He asks if anyone saw a goblin. A wide-eyed farm-hand shakes his head. Granny Palaver starts drunkenly yelling at Oris that he’s scaring the kids. Oris asks Granny if she knows what the rod is. She says no, and go away.**
* **Duly chastened, Oris makes his exit. He crawls out of the pub. The music is still going, though, so out in the square he does a little dance, scaring some nearby horses, and studies the wand. It’s a wand. Oris plops down and points the wand at nothing in particular. “Kazar!”**

* + **A MIGHTY WIND blows out most of the torches and lanterns.**
* **The euphoria and giant spells finally wear off. Oris takes his magic rod and goes home.**
* **The next day, he casts “Detect Magic” to try to determine the magic school.**

* + **No dice. It’s just a big jumbled mess.**
* **Oris casts “Light” on the rod. The spell works and the magic doesn’t rebound.**
* **Oris has an Unseen Servant wave the rod around. Nothing.**
* **Since none of his experiments are working, Oris sits down and has a think over the wand. FINALLY, he remembers an old story told to him when he was a child.**

* + **A fairy godmother gave a boy named Jack a “Wand of Wonder” so that he could save Tante-Hilda, the cobbler’s daughter. When she gave him the gift, the fairy said:**

* + - **The wand hath seven-wise times, from sunup to sunset, the power to aid thee, Jack. And with the Sun's bright shining, each morn', it's charge again in some measure grows. Rebuilding what was lost in yonder days preceding. And never more than forty dutiful paces must one stray from the target-intended, elsewise the dweomer shall fail to find its mark, or else fail to maintain. And should ever you expend, in desperation or ignorance, the last and final measure of the power within, the mighty gift ( the wand ) shall crumble into dust and be destroyed. And this in a sudden trice, in the wink of a pixies eye, the flash of a hummingbirds smile. Forget not, this warning, young Jack. And heed its admonition**
	+ **Jack did wind up using all of the spells, and the wand crumbled away, its purpose fulfilled, as Tante-Hilda was saved. BUT NOW IT’S BACK. AND ORIS HAS IT.**
* **Oris thinks, maybe he has to save someone named Cousin Lorelei? But he doesn’t have a Cousin Lorelei as far as he knows.**
* **“Gilda? Do you have a Cousin Lorelei?”**

* + **“Might have. Two and twenty cousins has any kitty, cat or mouser worth her mittens.”**
	+ **Gilda gets treats for using all her words.**
* **Oris adds the name Lorelei, the Wand of Wonder, and “orders that use the title Cousin” to his list o’ things to research (alongside the Court of Malice).**
* **Just for funsies, Oris asks Gilda if she knows about the Court. She responds:**

**Hinx, minx, the old witch winks,**

**The fat begins to fry,**

**Nobody at home but Jumping Joan,**

**Father, Mother, and I.**

**Stick, stock, stone dead,**

**Blind man can't see;**

**Every knave will have a slave,**

**You or I must be he.**

* **Oris takes Gilda to the tavern for some raw chicken because she’s a good kitty even if her responses are useless. End magic adventure.**