Barry Poppins - Transcript

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Chapter 50 - Barry Poppins

Angle on Robert’s old house (he now kinda just lives in his warehouse). We cut inside to see a butler shouting at CBot Mini, who’s causing a real ruckus

Butler

“Sir! Please calm down!”

CBot Mini

“No! I’m happy right now!”

Butler

“I get it sir, but please calm down!”

CBot Mini

“No! I’m happy right now!”

Butler

“This is a nightmare! When’s that babysitter gonna get here?!”

Tim bursts through the door

Tim

“Did someone say ME?!”

Butler

“I did! Thank goodness you’re here! Since CBot Mini is the new CEO of CreaTech, I’m covering for him on certain things... mainly this, only this, he’s a nightmare at meetings”

Flashback, CBot Mini is in a boardroom

CBot Mini

“And that’s why we need to paint this entire building pink! Gray is boring! Also, waffles are terrifying, I’m now gonna talk about waffles for forty-five minutes”

Cut back to the butler, who shudders

Butler

“Just... keep an eye on him?”

Tim

“Gotcha”

Butler

“Thank you!”

The butler runs off

Tim

“Alright CBot, let’s do this!”

CBot Mini walks over

CBot Mini

“I found a rocket launcher!”

Tim

“This’ll be fine”

Intro plays

Tim

“Alrighty CBot Mini! What fun activities do you wanna partake in?”

CBot Mini

“All of them! All the activities!”

Tim

“Yeah, like-“

CBot Mini

“Homework!”

Tim

“Yeah okay, or we could do... not... that...”

CBot Mini just stares at him

Tim

“Right, this calls for desperate measures”

Tim dresses up in a tux, top hat, with an umbrella

Tim (British)

“Alright you special little boy-“

CBot Mini

“I’m a machine, and therefore have no gender”

Tim (British)

“\*clears throat\* Okay then, uh, anyway! Who’s ready for fun, with ya favorite British babysitter, Barry Poppins?”

CBot Mini

“\*gasp\* the titular role!”

Tim (British)

“Let’s up the excitement a tad, shall we?”

Tim bursts into song, musical episode y’see

“Oh there’s about a million things that we could do together-

Most of them are inside, so they aren’t affected by the weather!

We could watch the telly for a minute, or play a game of cards-

We could make a fortress out of pillows, or eat this entire can of laaaaaaaard!

See that’s what life is all about, the times we spend with each other-

And the memories we make, why it’s unlike any other!”

CBot interrupts

CBot

“Did you just rhyme other with other? The same word... lazy songwriting”

Tim

“Oh c’mon I was in the zone! Besides, I was literally almost done, geez... where was I? OH YEAH!

The song resumes

“Oh there’s about a million things that we could do together

Most of them are inside, so they aren’t affected by the weather!”

CBot Mini

“Well, despite your questionable rhyming skills, I’m now super excited! What are we doing?”

Tim

“Mmm... well I guess we could-“

Alex bursts inside, followed by Lily and P-Sauce

Alex

“Tim! We have big news!”

Tim

“Um, we were kinda in the middle of something here-“

Alex

“Bring the robot! Just, seriously this is mandatory!”

Tim

“Ugh, fine! C’mon CBot Mini”

CBot Mini

“Yay! New dad bonding time!”

Tim

“This is a one day thing...”

Alex

“Let’s go!”

Tim

“Gah!”

Hard cut, a table outside of a burger place

Alex

“Alrighty, so I was doing some digging for Malcom-“

Tim

“He asked you to do that?”

Lily

“Nope”

Alex

“Hey, let me answer... nope... but I was anyway, he’s seemed stressed since Capital City, thought I should help him... anyway, I found out something really important probably”

Tim

“Spill the beans”

P-Sauce

“Yeah! You dragged us here, saying that there was ‘no time to explain’”

Lily

“Yeah! We want the deets!”

Alex

“Alright... listen up... I overheard some very sketchy fellows saying that Ex-Lord was hosting a massive event for Porta’s big-shot criminals!”

CBot Mini

“Ex-Lord? My dad! Haven’t seen him in months!”

Tim winces

Lily

“Oh, even I felt that”

P-Sauce

“So Alex, where’s the meeting taking place?”

Alex

“Some creepy mansion called ‘Brick Manor.’”

Lily

“How did you even learn this?”

Tim

“Deet us”

Alex

“Gotcha”

Alex’s turn for a song, telling the story of how he learned about Brick Manor

(Jo will write this one)

Alex

“Alright, so yeah... should be fun right?”

Tim

“Nope! Let’s do it!”

CBot Mini

“But what about our play date?”

Tim

“Uh... you can-“

He notices Alex shaking his head “no!”

Tim

“Of course you can! The more the merrier!”

Alex

“Tim, Lily, a word please!”

Lily

“Watch CBot with your life P-Sauce!”

P-Sauce salutes

P-Sauce

“You got it Lil!”

Lily blushes, and runs over to Tim and Alex

Alex

“I feel like it’s obvious, but CBot Mini could jeopardize the mission... like a lot! Like a lot a lot!”

Lily

“Why? He seems innocent enough”

Tim

“Yeah! I babysitted him for a whole four minutes, he’s harmless!”

Lily

“Yeah!”

Alex

“Look, he might seem harmless now, but don’t forget who created him! Robert Eager! Also known as Ex-Lord, also known as the guy we’ve spent the last year and a half fighting!”

Tim and Lily look uncomfortable at this

Alex

“So, we can take CBot Mini I guess... just keep an eye on him!”

Tim

“You got it boss! He won’t leave my sight!”

Lily

“I’ll help!”

Alex

“No! You and P-Sauce have a specific job together”

Lily

“Oh sweet, romantic spy mission, I dig it”

She walks off

Tim

“So what do we do?”

Alex

“Disguise as criminals and get information about Ex-Lord’s raid on Randoms Tower! If we can get details of their exact plan, we can prepare for every eventuality!”

Tim

“That’s... actually a great plan, huh... alright! Let’s do it! Let’s save Randoms!”

They heroically pose

Tim (still posing)

“So... how do we get to Brick Manor?”

Alex (also posing)

“Paul can drive... I think...”

Hard cut to Paul’s lab

Paul

“I would love to drive you, but I haven’t driven since... two weeks ago, when my license got shunted out of those stupid car people’s ‘legal radar’”

Tim

“What?”

Paul

“Anyway, I’m sure Safety Ninja can drive you!”

Safety Ninja is sweeping behind Paul, Anne is sitting on the counter

Safety Ninja

“Drive? Rowdy teens? To some mysterious criminal mansion?! NO DICE!”

Anne

“I’ll go with you”

Safety Ninja

“You’re as bad as they are!”

Anne

“Yep... y’know, how about I drive them?”

Safety Ninja

“Nope, that would be... calamitous, I’m driving!”

Paul

“Problem solved!”

P-Sauce

“Respect”

Hard cut, Safety Ninja is driving the crew through a rich people neighborhood

Safety Ninja (singing)

“Obeying road safety laws, yeah yeah, gotta love those road safety laws”

Tim

“He’s singing! It counts”

They pull up outside a massive mansion. Several cars are already pulled up.

Tim

“Alright! Disguises!”

Tim and Alex press small button’s on their shirts, transforming them into rugged looking thugs (Paul’s genius work obviously)

Alex

“Let’s do this!”

Tim

“Heck yeah!”

They enter

Alex

“Remember, Lily, P-Sauce find the elevator, get upstairs, snoop around!”

Lily and P-Sauce (also now disguised) nod, they understand

Tim

“Alright, let’s do this!”

They enter, the place is filled with people, all drinking and talking loudly

Alex

“Just try and look inconspicuous”

Tim

“Oh lord, I hate this...”

Alex

“Shh!”

A loud clapping noise as heard, as Wilson Sharp steps upon a hastily set up stage

Alex

“He’s alive?!”

Tim

“We left him in unconscious in a burning sorcerer temple!”

Wilson Sharp clears his throat

Wilson Sharp

“And now, presenting my superior, he’s slowly become the most powerful arms dealer in recent years! Give it up for Robert Eager, also known as Ex-Lord!”

Everyone cheers, Robert steps onstage

Robert

“Hello gentlemen! Who’s ready for ultimate power?!”

Everyone cheers, as Robert chuckles

Tim

“H’boy...”

Alex

“That’s our guy...”

Wilson Sharp

“And now, introducing his superior-”

Tim and Alex

“Wait what?!”

Wilson Sharp

“The new head of Operation Breaker, and Ex-Lord Weapon Production... give it up for, it pains me to say this, JAMESON MAMESON!”

Jameson steps onstage. The scepter has now been fully repaired, using metal. The staff part now is half wood and a half metal, that’ll look cool

Jameson

“Hello everyone!”

Tim and Alex stare in disbelief

Alex

“He’s in charge?!”

Tim

“I legit forgot he existed until just now...”

Alex

“Right?”

Jameson clears his throat professionally... then bursts out in psychotic laughter

Jameson

“That’s right? Surprised? HA! I, Jameson Mameson, MALCOM’S GREATEST ENEMY, am now leading the charge against him, so I can finally exact my revenge for the years of humiliation!”

He laughs again, and some guy in the crowd scoffs

Jameson

“Huh? Irritated nose noise! What’s going on?”

The guy in the crowd

Guy

“Um, yeah, what exactly are you gonna do to Malcom?”

Jameson

“Hmm, gee I wonder... maybe I’ll just let him go, y’know, right? Ha! Kidding!”

Jameson song (because of course there is)

“I’ll make him pay, pay some respect to me!

Pay, pay for neglecting me!

Pay, pay for every stupid thing that man has done to me!

Back in the great state of Britain, my father he reviled me-

He didn’t like my American tones, so one day he demanded I leave!

Ever since then I’ve been trying to find my plaaaaaaace!

And because Malcom hurt me I want to tear of his (super high pitched) faaaaaaaaaace!

Erm, in other words...

I’ll make him pay, pay some respect to me!

Pay, pay for neglecting me!

I’ll make him pay, yes!

He will paaaaaaaaay...

And once he does I’ll take his company and, and then I’ll take, over the, I’ll take his company! I’ll make him paaaaaaaaaaaay!”

The crowd cheers, except that one guy

Guy

“Okay, but like... more specific?”

Jameson

“WE’LL GET THERE! Anyway, I bet you’re all wondering what the plan for the Randoms Tower raid is...”

Everyone mutters in agreement

Tim

“Here we go!”

Alex

“Finally”

Jameson

“And we’ll talk about that now! Ha! Just kidding, first we’re gonna talk ice sculptures!”

Alex

“Dagnabbit!”

Tim

“We’ll get there... possibly...”

Cut to Lily and P-Sauce, entering the elevator

Lily

“So, this mansion has four floors. Which do you think is the most likely for a egomaniac weapons dealer to stay in?”

P-Sauce

“Probably floor four, since it’s the highest? He’d want to feel in charge right?”

Lily

“Perfect! We’ll work our way down!”

Lily presses a button, and they start moving upwards... only for them to stop quickly

P-Sauce

“Oh yeah, this mansion is old... so... this should surprise no one...”

Lily

“So... we’re alone in an elevator”

P-Sauce

“Yep...”

Lily

“Tight, terrifying, enclosed space...”

P-Sauce

“Looks like it Lil”

Lily blushes

P-Sauce

“Heh, sorry”

Lily

“It’s fine! It’s totally fine! But uh... we got time... what should we do?”

P-Sauce

“Well I’ve, er, I’ve been (muttering) writing a song”

Lily

“What was that?”

P-Sauce breathes heavily

P-Sauce (quickly)

“I’ve been writing a super romantic song for you!”

Lily

“Oh...”

She faints

P-Sauce

“It seems like this should’ve calmed down now that we’re together...”

Cut back to the parlor, Jameson’s speech isn’t going well

Jameson

“So, who’s ever even eaten an anything ever? I haven’t!”

Wilson Sharp sighs in annoyance

Robert

“Hey Wilson, with me!”

Wilson follows

Robert

“So, you wanna talk about Jameson”

Wilson Sharp

“HE’S THE WORST! Why is that absolute idiot bossing us around?!”

Robert

“That idiot has mastered the most deadly artifact in our history, according to Grey and Frida... y’know, the actual sorcerers?”

Wilson

“But like, we could kill him and take it for ourselves”

Robert

“He also saved your life”

Wilson

“Uh... sure, but WHO CARES?”

Robert

“You do? You’d be dead if it weren’t for him”

Wilson grunts

Wilson

“That’s fine”

Robert

“Exactly! Besides, once the raid’s over he’ll be content at Randoms Tower, then you can run the weapons dealing company”

Wilson

“Me? But what about you?!”

Robert gets in an instinctual defensive position

Robert

“Uh...”

Wilson

“Wait... you’re actually considering staying with Jameson at Randoms?! WHY?! What’s to gain working for that idiot?!”

Robert

“I have... a affinity for Randoms... among other things...”

Wilson

“Alright! Fine! Seems idiotic though, and like a waste...”

Robert grunts

Robert

“Just, let’s go back onstage”

Wilson obeys

Cut to Tim and Alex in the crowd

Alex

“Okay, so we’ve already learned something important. Jameson’s somehow in charge now I guess”

Tim

“Yep”

CBot Mini

“Is that daddy on stage?”

He waddles off, unnoticed by Tim and Alex

Tim

“So what now?”

Alex

“Just stick with the plan I guess... just keep listening, until Jameson gets to the raid stuff”

Tim

“Yeah probably wise”

Pan over, showing that CBot Mini is getting closer to the stage

Cut to Lily and P-Sauce in the elevator

Lily wakes up finally

Lily

“Ugh... I’m fine, sorry about that”

P-Sauce

“It’s cool Lil... the uh, the elevator still isn’t working, so... you wanna hear the song”

Lily goes scarlet

Lily (stiffly)

“Yes I would very much like that!”

P-Sauce

“Okay, uh... I’m not a great singer, just letting you know, but here we go...”

P-Sauce clears his throat and sings an epic emotional ballad. It starts in his voice, but shifts to a beautiful voice as Lily listens.

Once he finishes, Lily stares for a minute, then bursts into tears

Lily

“I love it!”

P-Sauce

“Oh... really?”

And for the first time, P-Sauce blushes

Lily

“Yeah! \*sniff\* now c’mon, we got a job to do”

P-Sauce

“Let’s do it!”

Lily

“I guess we could climb out the elevator, using the hatch?”

P-Sauce

“Alrighty! Into the unknown we go!”

Lily

“It’s an elevator shaft”

Cut back to the lobby, Tim and Alex are listening to Jameson, exasperatedly

Jameson

“So that’s what I’d do if I was a contestant on ‘Chef Prince,’ anyway, now it’s time we talk about the actual raid on Randoms Tower”

The crowd goes silent

Some guy

“You have my full attention!”

Jameson

“The first leg of the attack will-“

CBot Mini

“DADDY!”

Robert turns

Robert

“Uh... what the-“

CBot Mini

“It’s so good to see you! Also, where’ve you been?”

Robert

“Where’s you come from?”

CBot Mini

“Oh, the two weird kids from Malcom brought me here!”

Tim and Alex’s faces fall

Robert glances up

Robert

“Where are they?”

CBot Mini (pointing)

“Over there!”

Robert

“Wilson!”

Wilson chuckles, and goes towards Tim and Alex

Tim

“I’m not Tim!”

Alex

“Yeah, no he’s, uh-“

Tim

“Barry Poppins!”

Wilson fires a net from his mechanical hand, and starts dragging them to another room

CBot Mini watches the scene, nervously

Jameson

“Umm... just remove them... yep... okay! Here we go! Time for my master plan!”

Alex

“No!”

Tim

“Where are you taking us?!”

Wilson

“The roof, to throw you off of it!”

Cut to Lily and P-Sauce, now climbing through the vents

Lily

“Yikes, this is tight...”

P-Sauce

“What’s that?”

Lily

“This is tight?”

P-Sauce

“Mmm, exactly what I thought you said”

Lily

“Yep, wasn’t that weird a thing. Oh hey! An exit!”

They pop out, through a vent, and into a master bedroom. A bunch of high tech objects hav been set up, along with a large computer

P-Sauce

“This screams Robert Eager”

Lily

“Yep... investigation sensation!”

They start snooping around

P-Sauce

“That’s a lot of paperwork... hmm...”

Lily

“Hey P-Sauce, take a look at this?”

P-Sauce

“Wazzup?”

Lily indicates a laptop, which was left on

Lily

“Umm...”

P-Sauce looks at the laptop, then goes pale

P-Sauce

“Oh... should we?”

Lily

“Yeah...”

She pulls out her phone and snaps a photo

Lily

“Let’s run”

P-Sauce

“Yep, Alex said to meet them back at Randoms Tower!”

Lily

“Yep”

They run off

Cut to the Brick Manor roof, Wilson has tied up Tim and Alex

Wilson

“Alright, you two have caused enough trouble for the boss, now it’s time for you pay”

Tim

“Don’t kill us! I’m too hot!”

Alex

“Yeah, you hurt us and Malcom’s gonna destroy you!”

Wilson laughs long and loud

Wilson

“The boss is counting on it! Robert’s done his homework on your old man. He knows that Malcom is at his weakest when he’s emotional”

Tim

“Oh no... that’s true...”

Alex

“But he’s also more dangerous”

Wilson

“So are we! Have a safe flight!”

Wilson starts dragging them to the edge

Tim and Alex start shouting in protest, when suddenly

???

“Wait!”

Wilson looks over, sees nothing... then looks down and sees CBot Mini

CBot Mini

“Put down my new dads!”

Alex

“Don’t go there...”

Wilson

“Oh, what are you gonna do about it junk pile?”

CBot Mini

“I’m the most destructive weapon ever!”

CBot unleashes heck upon Wilson, so many missles, explosions, flying, swords, lasers, all while Wilson defends.

As they fight, a hardcore rock song blares out

Tim and Alex watch in awe

Alex

“I’m so sorry for doubting you”

Tim

“I earned that!”

Finally CBot knocks Wilson off the edge, and Wilson falls with a yelp

We cut to the ground, where Wilson lands in a bush, then gets up, seeming very upset

CBot Mini frees Tim and Alex

CBot Mini

“I’m so sorry for that. My old daddy’s a meanie”

Tim

“It’s cool! You’re great!”

Alex

“Yeah, that was awesome”

CBot Mini hugs Tim and Alex

Alex

“Well, guess we should head back to Randoms Tower...”

Tim

“Yup”

CBot Mini

“I could help with that!”

He grabs their hands, and flies off with them

Tim

“WOO!”

They soar off to Randoms Tower

Inside the lobby, Lily and P-Sauce are waiting

Tim, Alex and CBot Mini burst in

Lily

“Guys! Where were you?!

Tim

“Long story”

Alex

“Horrible”

Lily

“Check this out!”

P-Sauce

“We got to Robert Eager’s room, and took a pic of his laptop”

Lily pulls out her phone and hands it to Tim and Alex, they look at it and then look horrified... it’s a simple picture... Malcom, Sally... and Carl, all hanging out together

Tim

“Who is that guy?”

Lily

“I don’t know!”

P-Sauce

“Yeah, mystery...”

Alex

“We have to show Malcom this...”

Tim

“Yeah, shame we didn’t get details on the raid...”

CBot Mini

“I did!”

They look at him

CBot Mini

“I recoded Jameson’s entire speech!”

Tim

“Holy cow really?! WHOA!”

Alex

“Nice!”

Lily

“This is great!”

Tim

“Should we head straight to Malcom?”

Alex

“Yeah! Let’s do this... time to save Randoms...”

Tim (whispers)

“Yeah!”

Cut back to the party, Jameson and Ex-Lord are cleaning up, when Wilson enters

Wilson

“I’m not in a good mood”

Ex-Lord

“Noticed... disappointing...”

Wilson

“Gah!”

Wilson storms over to the corner, then thinks to himself for a minute... and the glares at Jameson, a cruel smile appearing on his face

THE END