Goofy

The true Keyblade weilder.

> "Boil!" - Goofy's iconic catchphrase.
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**Goofy** is widely regarded as the most complex character in the OneyPlays Lore. His character has many layers and a very deep backstory, a deeper yet understanding of which is required to really understand who he is and why he did what he did.

## Profile and History

Goofy was the guard of the Keyblade, sworn to protect the wielder from all dangers. Despite this, for the longest time, he did not understand the concept of the Darkness, thinking that it was just a big fad or some kind of Ribena. His life force was a green life goop with beads in it, and was hidden in the deepest part of his nose.

### Controversial Acts of Violence

Goofy was known to be very abusive to his friends and family (e.g. calling his son Max a faggot, publicly fucking Sora against the bookshelf in a library). When his friends were off to find their long lost friends, he explained that they may as well be dead, and that they should just give up,

He also claimed to have murdered his wife just to piss off his son, although he actually killed her so he could enter the Darkness and see cool imagery, which he explained is much more pleasing than the real world. However, this made him a broken man, saying that "he was trapped in this hell," possibly referring to the real world he was living in.

### Children

Goofy was very well known for his sexual acts. He was known for very frequently having sex with a wide variety of other men. He personally gave birth to the first five of his children, Bax, Zax, Miguel, Thomas and Lawshandra. However, he was so ashamed of these children that he hid them away for the world to never see again. Although having since been cursed with erectile dysfunction, he was still able to foster his sixth child Max by slurping up his jizz with a turkey baster after awakening from nocturnal emission.

### Death and Legacy

Goofy, snorting some sick-ass crack rocks from his coke nail, inadvertently sliced open his nostril, causing his life force to seep out from inside of his nose. He crumbled away into nothingness, never to be seen again. A witness of his death anonymously sent letters to each of his six children in the hopes that they would be reunited. The identity of this individual remains unknown.

## Quotes

* "The lord giveth and the God taketh away!"
* "Pete was kickin' over buckets of water, so we sent him to the nightmare dimension!"
* "Let me handle this, Sora, you're a child!"
* "Our boy may be broken, but with these weapons... ***we'll hurt people***."
* "The water has become Ribena. What if *we* become Ribena? It's my irrational fear!"
* "She's not real, Donald..."
* "Slit my nose. It has all my life force."
* "FUCK! JESUS! AAAHAHAAAAA! THE WORLD IS OVER!"
* "Uhyuh, big whale, whuhAAAHAAHHAAAAHAAUUHAUUGH!"
* "Welcome to the fuckin' homie hole, beeyitch!"
* "Ahyug, don't put yer finger in me."
* "Wow, Riku's pretty cool! See ya, f@ggot."
* "You butt-fucking son of a bitch!"
* "Hold him down! I'm the king now!"
* "AhyuhuhuGUH! This 'lil boy's muh friend!"
* "You're no son of mine, you 'lil cunt."
* "Ahyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk, I hate Leon! I hate that edgy f@ggot. He thinks he's so cool, unlike me."
* "That scar on his face is ridiculous, I can't take him seriously. What he refuses to tell anyone is that **I** gave him that scar."

## Trivia

* Although many think his "Boil!" catchphrase was just something silly, it actually had a lot of meaning behind it. He loved boiling things so much that he created the Boil Force, similar to entities such as the Light and the Darkness. The objective of the Boil Force was to cause everything that exists on Earth to boil.
* Goofy's catchphrase in Kingdom Hearts 2 was supposed to be "Boil 2!" but was cut out of fear of fans missing the classic "Boil". Boilara and Boilaga were both cut from Goofy's moveset, although code for these moves can still be found buried in the game's files.
* Kingdom Hearts 3 was initially going to have Goofy be the twist villain, and try to turn the entirety of Kingdom Hearts into one writhing mass of boils. This was scrapped during development since it would have been too fun.