Channel Surfing

Channel surfing makes viewing TV much more interesting.

When you take the risk and channel surf you never know what to expect will come on your TV. Watch as James tries to find something worth watching.

## Transcript

(James is watching TV on the couch, flipping between a soap opera (starring Jason and Whitney), a press conference (starring Matt), a cooking show (starring Mallory) and an exercise video (starring Jeremy)).

Mallory: Now, what you need to do, is stir that until it's about the consistency of a cloud.

Matt: I am pleased to announce NASA's new space program, which will send a family of rats...

Jason: Yes Veronica, it's true. Your ex-husband is still alive and living in Cairo.

Jeremy: Four and slide, two, three, four and reach, two, three, four and slide, two, three, four.

Mallory: Now take a whisk, and really beat-

Jason: -your arthritic grandmother.
Whitney: That's rich! Especially coming from the man who was raised by-

Matt: -feral monkeys, which contracted Hepatitis. They, of course, had to be put down, and now we're using the rats. One NASA authority said:

Jason: Sometimes, I cry in the shower.
Whitney: Hah! You're not fooling anyone! All you've ever cared about is-

Jeremy: -your glutes! You feeling a good burn in there? Now we're gonna start working your thighs,-

Mallory: -and rub them down with some olive oil. That's nice. Now we're ready to put this into the oven, along with-

Matt: -tax payer's dollars. The president wanted it to be absolutely clear that he has no-

Jeremy: -body hair! Some say yes, some say no! But don't be afraid to-

Mallory: -let it envelop you in its aroma. Now this recipe is simple. It calls for flour, eggs, and-

Whitney: -your immortal soul! And we never heard from you! You never called, you never wrote, you never even-

Matt: -learned how to use a special rat toilet. They can navigate complex mazes, and most surprisingly-

Mallory: -they're gluten-free. And, if you don't have an electric mixer, you can just use-

Jason: -flaming passion! Have you no shame?! It absolutely sickens me to think that-

Jeremy: -this is twenty pounds of human fat in a jar. And if you think that you don't have the willpower to do it, don't despair, because-

Matt: -very few have died in the process. The details of the program are vital to national security, so naturally the White House-

Whitney: - will slap that smug look off your face! (slaps Jason)

Mallory: Ouch, that stings! I-

Jason: -love you. And ever since I heard you sing, your voice was like-

Mallory: (loud blender noises)

Jeremy: Isn't that soothing? It makes me want to-

Jason: -question my will to live. All you can do is-

Jeremy: -give your spandex a little snap. Pretty soon you're gonna have a body as solid as-

Matt: -this nation's economy. In conclusion, we'd like to thank you all for coming to this press conference, and we hope that you-

Whitney: -burn for your sins. Don't you see? All I ever wanted was-

Jeremy: -the flexibility of a Russian gymnast! Just remember, there's nothing more attractive to the ladies than-

Mallory: -a chocolate sculpture of Winston Churchill covered in-

Whitney: -dirty money. But it's over now. I'm never coming back. You can forward my mail to-

Matt: -the cold heart of space. Thank you, and-

Jeremy: -see you in skinny town! Population: you.

## Trivia

* This sketch is an adaptation on a sketch performed by Divine Comedy in 2008.
* This sketch was uploaded on the same day as the episode aired on BYUtv.
* This is the sketch of Season 1 with the most views on YouTube.
* This is the first sketch since Everything Sounds Nicer to be directed by Nick Stentzel.
	+ It is only the third sketch he has directed, after Everything Sounds Nicer and Bad Extra.
* This is the first sketch since Everything Sounds Nicer to be (partially) filmed outside the studio.
* Jeremy Warner is wearing the same costume as in Stage Directions.
* The news ticker along the bottom of the screen during the NASA press conference reads:
	+ An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
	+ Mayor of Juiceberry Township to homeless: Go home.
	+ Missippi's literacy program shows best test results evr.
	+ Utah poison control center reminds everyone not to take poison.
	+ U.S. scientists report that most earthquake damage is caused by shaking.
	+ Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons.
	+ Statistics now show that te-
	+ Kentucky mailman bites homeowners dog.
* This sketch was featured in the special Season 1 Favorites.
* This is the third sketch to feature multiple locations or environments, after P90X and Lord Voldemort Goes On Blind Date.
* This is the thirtieth sketch in which Matt Meese is featured.