Lana, Lola, and the Class Concert

This is a parody of the *Milly, Molly* episode "Class Concert".

The second-grade class in Royal Woods Elementary was going to have a class concert.

Abigail and Meli were hula hooping together, Skippy and Armen were playing with yo-yos, Kayla was doing an act with her dog, and Lindsey had planned a play involving a giant monster from space, only she was paired with Winston, who she just couldn't scare, no matter how hard she tried.

She growled at him, but he only laughed.

"It's not *funny*!", said Lindsey angrily, "It's *scary*!".

The twins, meanwhile, were singing "Finiculi, Funicula", with Ms. Dimartino conducting them -- seeing as they loved being together, they'd decided to do something together for the concert.

"...Hark the soft guitar, funiculi, funicula," they sang.

"That's it, Lola!", said Ms. Dimartino, "You're getting the tune! Don't worry, Lana. With a little practice, you'll pick it up."

"I'm just not good at getting tunes, Ms. Dimartino," said Lana humbly.

That afternoon, the twins were playing in the backyard.

"Listen, listen, echoes sound afar!", sang Lola, upon Lana's request.

"Who is that singing?!", shouted Mr. Grouse.

"Um... uh..." stammered Lola.

"It was Lola," admitted Lana, "but I asked her to."

"Don't stop," said Mr. Grouse, "You've got a good voice, girl. Don't waste it."

"Um..." said Lola, "...Listen, listen, echoes sound afar! Funiculi, funicula..." sang Lola.

Later, when they were inside having some milk and cookies, the twins giggled.

"I thought Mr. Grouse was going to be really cross," said Lana.

"Me too," said Lola with a giggle.

"Lola," said Lana, "Why don't you sing the song for the concert by yourself? You're really good!"

"But I was looking forward to doing it with you," said Lola doubtfully.

"I'll be in the concert too," said Lana, "doing something else."

"Well...", said Lola.

"Loud, keep singing!", shouted Mr. Grouse from outside.

Lola giggled and sang, "Some think the world is made for fun and frolic..."

The next day, the twins told Ms. Dimartino that Lola would sing by herself.

"But only if Lana can be in the concert too!", said Lola.

"Of course she can!", said Ms. Dimartino, "We need a very reliable person to work the curtains, Lana."

"Okay!", said Lana happily.

"Now, Lola," said Ms. Dimartino, "Would you mind staying behind after school so I can go over the song with you?"

"But I like to ride the van home with my siblings!", said Lola.

"Oh, Lana, you don't mind, do ya?", asked Ms. Dimartino.

"Well," said Lana, "I suppose I can go home without her in the van to bug. Just this once."

Lana knew that she could ride home in the van without sitting next to Lola, but that didn't mean she had to like it, so she looked rather mournful as she waited outside the school with Lucy and Lisa for Rita to come and pick them up.

And by the time the concert was only days away, Lana even had to eat her lunch without Lola.

And while Lana often went to Tall Timbers Park without Lola, it felt a lot more lonely when she *couldn't* come.

Meanwhile, Lindsey wasn't very happy either.

During a rehearsal, she and Winston were painting a cardboard box that was to be used as the monster costume, but Lindsey was in a bad mood. "This monster needs more red around his eyes," she said sulkily, "He's not scary enough."

As she went to get the red paint, Winston stuck his hand into the fake mouth, moved it up and down like it was eating his hand, and said, "Ahh! Please, please don't eat me, Mr. Monster!".

This made the twins, Abigail, and Meli laugh.

"Hey, Winston, stop that!", said Lindsey, "He's not a *funny* alien monster; he's a *scary* alien monster!".

However, even though Lana and Lindsey were less than happy, at least Lola's finale was going well; all her hard work was paying off.

As she finished her song in front of the class, everybody clapped and some of her friends went over to compliment her.

"Now, Lola, that was lovely," said Ms. Dimartino, "but I'd like you to stay back again one more time."

This made Lana sad.

That afternoon, Mr. Grouse saw Lana while he was watering his lawn.

"Where's that Lola girl?!", he snapped.

"She's practicing for the concert," said Lana gloomily.

"Again?!", said Mr. Grouse, "Good for her, but you'd better watch out -- if this keeps up, you may stop recognising your own twin!".

His joke just made Lana even sad, and she ran up to her and Lola's room, sat on her bed where Cliff was napping, picked him up, and complained to him: "I'm just all by myself all the time! Maybe Lola doesn't even want to be my twin anymore! I wish Lola wasn't *singing* in the concert!".

Cliff meowed and wriggled away, but Lana didn't seem to notice, and she said tearfully, "It's not fair!".

On the day before the concert, everyone was ready for the final rehearsal, but when Lola tried to sing, she just croaked.

"Goodness!", said Ms. Dimartino, "Lola, what's the matter!?"

"My throat's a bit sore," rasped Lola.

"And the concert's tomorrow night!", said Ms. Dimartino apprehensively.

Lana looked guilty. "Oh no!", she said.

"Lola, you must rest your voice," said Ms. Dimartino, "I'll call your dad and tell him to pick you up straight away."

However, even though Lola was the one who'd strained her throat, Lana felt worse.

She tried to take her mind off her problems by playing on the fence, but then she fell into Mr. Grouse's yard, right where he was raking leaves.

"Hey!", he said, "Watch where you're going!".

Lana cried.

"Oh, it's all right," said Mr. Grouse, "It's just leaves."

"That's not what I'm crying about!", said Lana, "Lola's lost her voice... and... she can't sing in the concert... and... it's all my fault!"

"Now, how on Earth is it *your* fault!", said Mr. Grouse, puzzled by his little neighbour's melancholy.

"'Cause I wished she wasn't singing!", bawled Lana.

"Nonsense!", said Mr. Grouse, wagging his finger, "That's ridiculous! Of course you didn't make Lola lose her voice! What she needs is my special cure!".

"What's your... special cure?", asked Lana through tears.

"Fresh honey, lemon juice, hot water, garlic, and ground ginger," said Mr. Grouse.

"Can I add a worm to it?", asked Lana.

"It's for your prissy twin, not you!", snapped Mr. Grouse, "And most important, you take it last thing at night, then wrap your throat up with a scarf!".

"Maybe...", said Lana, perking up, "I could make it for Lola!"

"When's the concert?", asked Mr. Grouse.

"Tomorrow night," said Lana.

"So," said Mr. Grouse, "Lola will have to take the cure tonight. You'd better get cracking if you're going to get all these ingredients together!"

But by then, Lana was having reservations.

"I haven't *really* got enough time," she said hesitantly, "and besides, it's not *my* fault she's lost her voice."

Then, she smiled -- she realised that if Lola wasn't busy practicing for the concert, she'd have some time to play with her.

Soon, the twins were in their room, and Lana was using a teddy bear to chase Lola's unicorn toy Eunice around.

Lynn Sr. peeked through the door. "You haven't been talking, have you, Lola?"

Lola shook her head and Lynn Sr. left.

"Are you still coming to the concert tomorrow night, Lola?", asked Lana, "We could have lots of fun doing the curtains together?".

Lola lay on her bed dramatically and whispered, "This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me!"

This made Lana frown, and she walked out of the room.

"Thanks for entertaining Lola," said Lynn Sr., "You were a good sister to her, Lana."

His words made Lana think about what it meant to be a good sister, and so soon, she decided that she *could* find the ingredients for Mr. Grouse's remedy after all... but there wasn't a moment to lose.

First, she went to Mr. Grouse's house with a basket and started picking the lemons off the ground.

"And you can't just take one or two lemons; you have to take the lot!", said Mr. Grouse crankily, "They're making a mess of my lawn! Now I've got some garlic in my pantry, but you'll have to get the ground ginger from the supermarket and honey from the Hunnicutts!"

"We've got some honey at home," said Lana.

"It can't be any old honey," said Mr. Grouse, "It has to be *farm-fresh* honey!".

"But I've never been to the Hunnicutts' without Lincoln!", said Lana.

She went anyway, and soon she was having a conversation with one of Liam's cows.

"Hi, Bessie!", she said, "Lucky Lola's not with me, 'cause she thinks you slobber and poop too much!".

Soon, Lana had the farm-fresh honey, and the lemons, and the garlic, but when she went to the supermarket to buy some ground ginger, it had already closed down for the day.

"Dang it!", she said, "I'm too late! It's closed!".

However, she then got an idea, and went to the bakery at Royal Woods Mall.

"Excuse me, sir," she said, "Do you happen to make your gingerbread men with ground ginger?"

"I sure do," said the baker.

"Then may I buy some?", asked Lana.

"Certainly," said the baker.

That night, Lynn Sr. handed the remedy to Lola.

"Thanks!", she said, but he said, "Shh!".

"You have to drink it all up," said Lana, holding a scarf, "and then wrap up your throat with a warm scarf."

Lola nodded.

However, since Lola didn't want to chance it, they wouldn't know if the cure worked until the following night.

"Lola!", said Ms. Dimartino, "Oh, we're very pleased to see you! Have you got your voice back?!", but Lynn Sr., ever the cautious dad, shushed her.

"We don't know yet," said Lynn Sr., "She's been resting it."

"Ooh," said Ms. Dimartino nervously, "Only time will tell."

Soon, the audience -- which included Mr. Grouse, Dr. Feinstein, Pop-Pop, and the rest of the Loud family -- was assembled.

Abigail and Meli performed their act, which was followed by Lindsey and Winston's... which didn't proceed as planned.

"This is a really scary play called '*Attack of the Really Scary Monster from Outer Space'*", announced Winston, as Lindsey had instructed, but he said it in the most unenthusiastic monotone a little boy could have.

Lindsey walked in in the costume and roared.

Winston faked a scream, knelt down and said, "Please, please, please, don't eat me, Mr. Monster!", but his acting was very wooden, to the point where most of the audience laughed.

"You're supposed to run *away* from me!", whispered Lindsey, but Winston was in a joking mood and said, "Pardon, Mr. Monster?", making the audience laugh harder.

The mouth of the monster costume fell back, so Winston said, "Oh no! The monster's got a mouthful of Lindsey!", then he wagged his finger and said, "You shouldn't talk with your mouth full, Mr. Monster!", prompting more laughter.

Lindsey shrugged. At least people liked her play.

Next was Lola. "Fingers crossed," said Lana.

"Lola, you're on," said Lana, "Good luck."

Lola didn't know what would happen when she tried to sing, and everyone who knew that her throat had been sore looked a little nervous, but when Lola opened her mouth, she was able to sing, just as melodiously as ever.

Thus, she went all the way through "Funiculi, Funicula".

Nobody was happier than Lola that night, except maybe Lana. She saw that Lola was happy, and so she was happy, because that's what being a twin is like.