Book of Emperor Penguin/Story

EmperorPenguin: The PE has begun

Penguin Noob: Physical education??? I thought we were establishing an Empire, not a gym class.

EmperorPenguin: PENGUIN EMPIRE YOU IDIOT!

Penguin Noob: Oh, sorry. Well what now?

EmperorPenguin: I dunno, I thought everyone around here would just worship me like a god.

Penguin bot 1: Hey we worship you like a god!

Penguin bot 2: Maybe we don’t count because we’re just penguin bots?

Penguin Noob: Maybe there’s no one else around to worship you?

EmperorPenguin: Maybe the middle of ice land was not the best place to build an empire. (Penguin Noob: Some place more tropical would be better)

EmperorPenguin: Come to think of it, why is there a throne in the middle of the-

The throne vanishes and they both fall downwards into a pile of snow underground.

They both get up and look around and find that they have fallen into a huge city.

PenguinGuard: NEW ARRIVALS! THIS WAY!

The penguin guard leads them into a small cart and it drives down to the castle.

PenguinGuard: and Penguin City is the place you’re in right now.

EmperorPenguin: You mean there was a whole entire city underneath iceland?

PenguinNoob: AND WE WERE THE ONLY PENGUINS WHO DIDN’T KNOW!

Penguin bot 1: Hey we didn’t know.

Penguin bot 2: Maybe we don’t count because we’re just penguin bots?

They arrive at the palace.

PenguinGuard: Well this is where the Emperor lives. He is gonna greet you guys.

EmperorPenguin to Penguin Noob: Does he mean there’s already an Emperor here?

Penguin Noob: I think so. We might be out of a job if that’s the case.

They walk into the throne room and see the Emperor sitting on the throne.

The real Emperor: Hello new arrivals! May I know your names?

Penguin bot 1: I am Penguin Bot 1

Penguin bot 2: I am Penguin Bot 2

The real Emperor: Strange names, but I’ll go with it.

Penguin Noob: I’m penguin noob.

EmperorPenguin: And I’m Emperor Penguin.

The real Emperor: Wait a minute! You’re called EmperorPenguin?

EmperorPenguin: Yeah, that’s been my name for my entire life.

The real Emperor: THEN YOU MUST BE… MY LONG LOST SON!

EmperorPenguin: You’re saying you’re my dad!

The real Emperor: YOU’RE MY SON!!!

EmperorPenguin pulls out a gun and shoots The real Emperor

Penguin Noob: WHAT THE HELL!

EmperorPenguin: What?

Penguin Noob: You just killed your dad!

EmperorPenguin: And?

Penguin Noob: That’s your DAD! YOU KILLED YOUR DAD!

EmperorPenguin: I figured if I killed him, I would be the next one in line for the position of Emperor, being his long lost son after all.

EmperorPenguin pushes The Real Emperor off of the throne and sits down.

EmperorPenguin: THE PENGUIN EMPIRE HAS BEGUN! FOR REAL THIS TIME!

### Episode 2

EmperorPenguin wakes up.

EmperorPenguin: Good god, that was an amazing sleep.

Penguin Noob: Yeah, I didn’t know there were Emperor sized beds.

Penguin Bot 1: What shall we do now?

EmperorPenguin: Well, I mostly came here to start a war, but first you should remove the other Emperor’s body. It’s starting to get annoying.

Penguin Bot 1: I’ll do that later sir. Funeral?

EmperorPenguin: I don’t think anyone knows who he is. Just dump the body in an alleyway to scare baby penguins.

Penguin Noob: So you wanted to go to war?

EmperorPenguin: Yeah pretty much.

Penguin Noob: Are you sure anyone wants to go to war?

EmperorPenguin: If no one does, then me and the Penguin Bots will start a war against you PenguinNoob.

*Knock on the door*

Penguin Bot 2: Should I open the door and let them come out?

Mysterious voice: I want you to come out.

EmperorPenguin: Let’s go out and say hello then.

They all walk out to meet the person.

KingPenguin is outside with seven soldiers and one really cool looking penguin soldier.

KingPenguin: Hello “New Emperor '', It is I, king penguin, your older brother. Looking through the databases, I found that I was EmperorPenguin’s long lost son.

EmperorPenguin: You're my long lost son???

KingPenguin: No, I’m your dad's long lost son!

EmperorPenguin: But I’m my dad's long lost son!

KingPenguin: No no no! We’re both your dad’s long lost son.

EmperorPenguin: OH! I understand. So you’re my brother?

KingPenguin: Yes, your older brother, which means…

EmperorPenguin: That you’re my older brother?

KingPenguin: It means that when the former Emperor died, I was next in line for the throne.

EmperorPenguin: Oh. Can I at least stay at the palace for one more day?

KingPenguin: Yeah sure. As long as I get to move in tomorrow.

EmperorPenguin: Sure.

KingPenguin: Sure.

They walk back into the palace

Penguin Noob: So you’re gonna hand over the throne tomorrow.

EmperorPenguin: Nah, don’t feel like it.

Penguin Noob: Surely he has a huge army?

EmperorPenguin: I have two penguin Bots-

A Penguin Guard walks into the room.

Penguin Guard: Sir, is there anything you need done today?

EmperorPenguin: Yes, can you join my army?

Penguin Guard: Of course sir.

Penguin Noob: Are you sure we’re ready to fight KingPenguin.

EmperorPenguin: I think that we are.

### Episode 3

EmperorPenguin is sleeping in his bed when suddenly he gets picked up by the huge Penguin and thrown into a wall.

EmperorPenguin: Owie…

StrongPenguin walks over to EmperorPenguin and picks him up and punches him in the face.

Suddenly Penguin Bot arrives with Penguin Guard each carrying a rifle.

Penguin Bot 1: Hands up.

Penguin Guard: But drop EmperorPenguin first.

EmperorPenguin: Put me safely to the ground! Don’t drop me.

StrongPenguin looks at the Emperor and the rifles and puts Emperor on the ground.

Penguin Noob walks in and looks at the Strong Penguin

Penguin Noob: How the SQUAWK did you get in here???

StrongPenguin: I broke in using my ninja skills.

Penguin Bot 1: Actually we forgot to close the door.

StrongPenguin: Yeah, that too.

StrongPenguin: Well goodbye!

Penguin Noob: Goodbye!

EmperorPenguin: Are we just gonna let him escape?

Penguin Noob: It’s his first time trying to kill an emperor, give him a break.

EmperorPenguin: HE TRIED TO KILL ME! PUT HIM IN JAIL. I WANT TO HAVE A WORD WITH MY “DEAR” BROTHER.

Penguin Noob: Your family is obsessed with killing family members.

EmperorPenguin: Bet it runs with the family.

Penguin Guard: It might be smart to hire some soldiers to fight the assassins KingPenguin is sending.

EmperorPenguin: I have just the people…

### Episode 4

EmperorPenguin: Hey! Cereally! Good to see you!

Cereally: Nice to see you EmperorPenguin and Penguin Noob, good to see you are following your dreams about becoming Emperor.

EmperorPenguin: Cool dream right?

Cereally: I’m busy following my dreams of being featured in the Gnomeo and Juliet sequel. One of the background blue gnomes.

EmperorPenguin: Amazing.

Penguin Noob: Now that sounds like a movie we should hype up.

Cereally: turns out it was a live action remake.

EmperorPenguin: Even better.

Cereally: Now what is that dead body over there?

All of them look at the other Emperor’s body.

EmperorPenguin: Penguin Bot 1!!! Have you not removed the body!? It’s been 4 whole days.

Penguin Bot 1: Yes sir, I will do that later.

EmperorPenguin: Guys, just ignore the dead body.

Cereally: So what brought me here?

EmperorPenguin: A rival Emperor. My brother, who attempted to kill me yesterday.

Cereally: What’s the dead body?

Penguin Noob: EmperorPenguin’s dad. Don’t ask questions.

Cereally: I won’t. So, what do you want me to do with your brother?

EmperorPenguin: We’ll talk about that tomorrow. Get yourself some rest, it's almost 12 pm.

Meanwhile:

KingPenguin: So you’re saying that EmperorPenguin survived?

Penguin Warrior: Yes. Captured the assassin too!

KingPenguin: I HATE MY GODDAMN SQUAWKING BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

### Episode 5

EmperorPenguin: Good morning Cereally!

Cereally: Morning.

EmperorPenguin: Bots! fetch Cereally and me some Chocula Cereal.

Penguin Bot 2: Of course sir.

Penguin Noob walks down and sits on his chair.

Penguin Noob: EmperorPenguin?

EmperorPenguin: What is it?

Penguin Noob: Are you aware that the body is still there?

EmperorPenguin: Eh, you get used to it after a while.

They pour Cereal and start eating.

Cereally: So, what was it you wanted me for?

Penguin Noob: We figured that to make this city better, we have to convert their religion from Penguin puffs to Chocula.

EmperorPenguin: And you’re basically the pope of the Chocula religion, so you would be the perfect person to do the job.

Cereally: Oh SQUAWK YES!

Cereally: But what do I do?

Penguin Noob: We figured you could make a speech in front of the entire city.

Cereally: THAT I WILL DO!

5 hours later…

Cereally: Hello citizens of PENGUIN CITY, it is I. The pope of Chocula!

booing from the crowd ensues.

EmperorPenguin: SILENCE! Listen to him before you make your judgement.

Cereally: Now I know that you people may be huge fans of Penguin Puffs, but the only real Cereal is CHOCULA. Allow me to explain.

Cereally throws packets of CHOCULA all over the place and penguins grab them.

Cereally: NOW TASTE THEM!

Most penguins begin to eat CHOCULA and they love it.

Cheering ensues.

Cereally: THEY LOVE ME-

Cereally gets hit with a dart and falls unconscious.

### Episode 6

EmperorPenguin: Cereally? Are you ok?

Cereally: gahh, yes I think I am…

EmperorPenguin: My brother tried to assassinate me, hitting you in the process. Luckily bluebirds can’t die from PenguinPoison.

PenguinGuard: Hey boss!

EmperorPenguin: What?

PenguinGuard: There’s a body next to your seat.

EmperorPenguin: I’ll get PenguinBot 1 to deal with that. I want to meet with KingPenguin today.

Penguin Noob: Are you sure that’s a good idea? He has tried to kill you twice already.

EmperorPenguin: I am sure we can sort things out.

Penguin Noob: I don’t think it’s a good idea.

Cereally: I AGREE! I ALMOST DIED!

EmperorPenguin: Ok! We won’t invite him to dinner then. Do we have any other things we can do?

Penguin Noob: How about we make it our birthday or something.

EmperorPenguin: What does that have to do with this?

Penguin Noob: We can make all the city give us gifts, since it’s our “birthday”.

Cereally: That’s a great idea!

Penguin Noob: PENGUIN GUARD! Spread the word!

Penguin Guard: Of course sir.

Penguin Noob: AND PENGUIN BOT 1! REMOVE THE BODY!

Penguin Bot 1: I’ll do that later.

Penguin Noob: DO IT NOW! IT’S BEEN HERE FOR 5 DAYS ALREADY! DUMP IT IN AN ALLEYWAY.

Penguin Bot 1: Yes sir.

later…

Penguin: Here is a cool rock I found.

EmperorPenguin: Isn’t that a way of proposing to penguins.

Penguin: Oh! um… take something else then. How about this cool ring with a diamond in it.

EmperorPenguin: Thank you.

Penguin 2: Hey, here’s some fish.

EmperorPenguin: Thank you.

Penguin warrior: Here’s an assassination attempt.

EmperorPenguin: Oh! Thank you- WAIT NO!

EmperorPenguin pulls out a gun and fires at the warrior.

Penguin Noob: Should we stop accepting gifts sir?

EmperorPenguin: No! There must be tons of people left.

### Episode 7

Spamton: HELLO [Funny penguin man]! PL3ASE ACCEPT THIS [Specil gift] KNOWN AS THE [Decorational dead penguin] FOUND IN AN ALLEYWAY. ALL NATURAL. MAY BE SAT BESIDE [Monarchy sitting places].

EmperorPenguin: Oh thank you! I will set that next to my throne.

Spamton: FAREWELL [Funny penguin man]

EmperorPenguin: BYE!

Penguin Noob: Did you just reaccept the dead body we threw out?

EmperorPenguin: No you imbecile. That is a decorational dead body.

Penguin Noob: It looks exactly like the Emperor you just killed.

EmperorPenguin: I am sure that’s just a coincidence.

Cereally: Hey guys! I just confiscated every packet of penguin puffs in the city and replaced them with chocula.

EmperorPenguin: Well done! Soon I will have turned this city into the ideal city.

Cereally: So? Do I stay here or what?

EmperorPenguin: I want you to go phone Frozen Potato and tell him to come here. Then you can leave.

Cereally: Ok! That will do.

6 hours later…

Penguin Noob: Hey! Frozen potato! Good to see you again!

Frozen: Quite a nice city you have here. It would be a shame if you had a long lost brother that was trying to kill you and take the throne for yourself.

Penguin Noob: um… that’s kinda what’s happening.

EmperorPenguin: Yeah, I knew you were a great fighter and then me and my small crew of soldiers could destroy KingPenguins army.

Frozen: I have one question.

EmperorPenguin: What is it?

Frozen: Why is there a dead body-

Penguin Noob: Decorational. No questions.

Frozen: I’m not gonna ask any.

### Episode 8

EmperorPenguin wakes up to the sound of cannons.

PenguinBot 1: SIR! WE’RE UNDER ATTACK!

EmperorPenguin: By who!?

PenguinBot 1: Your brother obviously.

EmperorPenguin gets out of his bed and looks around.

EmperorPenguin: Get me my RobotPenguin suit.

PenguinBot 1: Of course sir.

EmperorPenguin walks down the stairs of the palace with his two penguin bots, PenguinGuard, Frozen and Penguin Noob.

KingPenguin and his army stop firing.

KingPenguin: Brother! Surrender now or you will be destroyed by the cannons. Come out with your hands up and give me your crown.

EmperorPenguin: Okay!

EmperorPenguin walks down the stairs and to KingPenguin and is about to give him the crown, but instead fires his missile landing directly on KingPenguins chestplate, pushing him back into a wall and killing him.

KingPenguins guards are about to fire at Emperor, but they are killed by the Penguin bots.

\*Epic fight scene\*

KingPenguins warriors start to attack EmperorPenguins small army, Frozen taking on at least 10 of them at a time.

Penguin Bots fly left and right, firing missiles at Penguin Warriors. Penguin Guard opens fire and Penguin Noob tries to fire missiles, but they get jammed, so he just throws them.

At the end, EmperorPenguin and his army are victorious and they sit down in the palace.

Penguin Noob: Do you have any plans Emperor?

Emperor: Yes. Yes, I do.

*Cool after credits scene*

KingPenguin pulls himself out of the rubble.

KingPenguin: I will have revenge.

## Season 2

### Episode 1

EmperorPenguin is walking down the street with the Penguin Guard.

Emperor: Do you think I should hire some more soldiers?

PenguinGuard: Might be a good idea? Are you planning on starting a war?

Emperor: Pretty much.

PenguinGuard: Against who?

Emperor: I have no squawking idea, maybe that dead body that’s in the throne room?

PenguinGuard: Should we find somewhere we want to rule?

Emperor: Yeah, do you guys have spaceships?

PenguinGuard: TONS! Hundreds in fact.

Emperor: Do you have those ones that only need to be controlled by 5 people?

PenguinGuard: I think you want the PlotConvenience Class star cruiser then.

Later…

Frozen: Wow, this ship is gigantic! I can’t believe only 5 people are needed to pilot this.

Emperor: And you’re one of those 5 people!

Frozen: Me???

Emperor: Yes, you, Penguin Bot 1 and 2, PenguinGuard and Penguin Noob are piloting the spaceship.

Frozen: Wait, if we’re piloting the spaceship, who’s your bodyguard?

Emperor: I hired StrongPenguin over here to protect me.

Frozen: Isn’t that the guy who tried to murder you!?!?!?

EmperorPenguin: Yeah, but he changed.

Frozen: So, where are we headed?

EmperorPenguin: You’ll find out.

### Episode 2

They arrive at their destination.

EmperorPenguin and his two penguin bots step out of the ship, followed by Frozen, Penguin Guard, Penguin Noob, and Strong Penguin.

Frozen: Wait a minute! Isn’t this my country? Are you trying to take over my underground city!?!?

EmperorPenguin: My city now.

Frozen: I’M IN CHARGE OF THE CITY!

EmperorPenguin: I am now.

Frozen looks at EmperorPenguin for a moment and then runs away.

Penguin Noob: I don’t think we should take this place, I think frozen is the mayor of this city.

EmperorPenguin: Well now I am the mayor.

EmperorPenguin walks into the forest and looks around.

A flamingo walks around and then sees Penguin Noob and EmperorPenguin.

Flamingo: Oh! Hey new rulers! Can I shake your hands, I mean wings!

Penguin Noob: Sure!

Flamingo walks to Penguin Noob and then is about to shake his hand, but stabs him instead.

Penguin Noob: GUH-

EmperorPenguin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Flamingo: AT LAST ALACANTE HAS HAD REVENGE! SQUAWK YOU ALL!

Flamingo flies away, but a RoboPenguin1 shoots a missile at him, and flamingo dies.

EmperorPenguin and PenguinGuard look at the body of Penguin Noob.

PenguinGuard: What an anticlimactic way to die!

EmperorPenguin: \*Sniff\* I only knew him for 1 season, 2 episodes and a tiny movie.

PenguinGuard: What now sir?

EmperorPenguin: Let me cry for a moment.

PenguinGuard: Yes sir!

One moment later…

EmperorPenguin: You know what! I want to have revenge against the flamingo kind. I will wage WAR against flamingos.

PenguinBot 1: Excellent idea sir.

### Episode 3

Frozen: Flamingos of all kinds. Pink flamingos, purplish red flamingos, light purple flamingos! The PenguinEmpire has declared war on us like many years ago.

FlamingoBaby: Hold on a moment, were we at war many years ago??

FlamingoMother: MY BABY’S FIRST WORDS!!!

Frozen: Ooh, I’d love to tell the tale about that. Maybe I will!

Frozen: Tens of thousands of years ago-

FlamingoBaby: Aw, I thought this was recent!

FlamingoMother: MY BABY’S SECOND WORDS!!

Frozen: Thousands of years ago, we flamingos used to own IceLand, until the evil EmperorPenguin the 1st declared war on us. After around a decade of war, the Flamingo race fell back into FlamingoLand, Their backup island. The PenguinEmpire, successful, built a city above the earth. Until the disaster struck, then almost all the earth shaked, and the crust cracked. The PenguinEmpire fell into the underground and the climate changed. Our land became a volcanic chaos that eventually settled down after a thousand years. Flamingo kind assumed the Penguin Empire was gone, but yet some had survived. Two of them were my friends. And one of them became the new Emperor of the PenguinEmpire.

FlamingoBaby: They’re back?!

FlamingoMother: MY BABY’S THIRD WORDS-

FlamingoBrute: Shut the squawk up.

FlamingoBaby: So they are declaring war on us!?

Frozen: Yes. And we will be ready. They only have 5 soldiers with them. And only one spaceship.

FlamingoBrute and FlamingoBaby: THIS WILL BE A PIECE OF CAKE!

They both look at each other, realising they said the same thing.

### Episode 4

Outside of FlamingoCity.

EmperorPenguin and his two penguin bots pull a huge laser cannon out of the spaceship while the other soldiers watch.

EmperorPenguin: Phew… I did that all by myself.

PenguinBot1: Hey we helped as well!

PenguinBot2: Maybe we don’t count because we’re penguin bots.

PenguinGuard walks up to EmperorPenguin: Sir, reinforcements will arrive soon.

EmperorPenguin: How many?

PenguinGuard: one cruiser, and three Smaller cruisers. Around 100 soldiers will arrive.

EmperorPenguin: Where were they when I was fighting KingPenguin?

PenguinGuard: On strike.

\*huge noise\*

EmperorPenguin: WHAT THE SQUAWK IS THAT?!?!?!

PenguinGuard: The cruisers are arriving.

One by one the smaller cruisers jump out of hyperspeed.

Then the Biggest cruiser arrives.

EmperorPenguin: HOLY SQUAWKAMOLY! HOW BIG IS THAT THING!!!

PenguinGuard: Around a kilometer long.

The three smaller all land, and the soldiers start to bring out their cannons.

PenguinGuard: I’ve told them we’re going to start a siege.

EmperorPenguin: Ah, that makes sense.

PenguinGuard: Do you wanna fire the cannons? It’s quite fun really.

EmperorPenguin: Yes of course!

EmperorPenguin stands behind the cannon and aims it at the city.

EmperorPenguin: Open fire!

He presses the button and his cannon fires, and fire bursts out amongst the trees.

PenguinBot1: Should we prepare the shuttle sir?

EmperorPenguin: No, I want to fight in this battle. Get my RoboSuit ready.

PenguinBot1: Yes sir!

EmperorPenguin: The rest of you, I want 50 of you back here as defence, and I want 50 of you to go into the woods. Cannons, continue to fire, (try not to hit any soldiers)

PenguinGuard: Why don’t we just bring our capital ship to the location of the city.

EmperorPenguin: We don’t know where the city is. All I know is it’s underground.

### Episode 5

EmperorPenguin and his two Penguin Bots walk through the woods.

PenguinBot1: Sir, my sensory receptors are picking up something.

EmperorPenguin: What is it?

PenguinBot1: Fear is in the air. I can feel it.

PenguinBot2: Sorry, that’s just me. I am kinda scared right now.

They continue walking and reach a small village.

PenguinBot1: What now sir?

EmperorPenguin: Genocide. Mercilessly slaughter them all.

PenguinBot2: Isn’t that a bit dark sir?

EmperorPenguin: They killed PENGUIN NOOB! I must have revenge!

PenguinBot1: Yes sir, of course sir.

They walk into the village.

PenguinBot1: What now sir?

EmperorPenguin: Split up, it always works in horror movies.

PenguinBot2: Of course sir.

EmperorPenguin walks around the village.

EmperorPenguin: Strange, not a soul here.

PenguinBot 2 is walking in the other end of the village.

PenguinBot2: I sense… Overconfidence?-

PenguinBot2 gets hit with a mace and falls down.

PenguinBot1 meets with EmperorPenguin.

PenguinBot1: Something is wrong. PenguinBot2 is not responding.

EmperorPenguin: You go check. I’ll stay here.

After a while EmperorPenguin gets impatient.

EmperorPenguin: Okay, where the squawk is PenguinBot1?

EmperorPenguin walks around and sees a hut with both PenguinBots broken and bashed.

EmperorPenguin: Wait a minute…

EmperorPenguin turns around and blocks the mace, grabbing it and throwing it away.

EmperorPenguin: Frozen!!

### Episode 6

Frozen: Yes it’s me!

EmperorPenguin: You betrayed me!

Frozen: You tried to take over my city!

EmperorPenguin: I’m allowed to do that!

Frozen: No your not!

EmperorPenguin: You’re\*

Frozen: SQUAWK YOU EMPEROR!

Engage in a cool battle.

Emperor fires a missile at Frozen, but Frozen slices it in half.

Frozen throws two knives at Emperor which he catches and throws back.

Frozen dodges them.

EmperorPenguin: We seem evenly matched. Perhaps this is a battle of wits.

Frozen: Yes, want to play some chess?

EmperorPenguin: WITS AND MISSILES!

EmperorPenguin fires one at Frozen, but Frozen dodges.

Frozen: A battle of knives then!

Frozen draws a knife.

EmperorPenguin: That’s not a knife! This is a knife!

The top half of Emperor’s mechanical arm folds inwards and reveals an electrified knife.

Frozen: Have you watched crocodile dundee?

EmperorPenguin: Yes, why?

Frozen: No reason.

They both engage in a knife fight in which Frozen manages to get a few hits, but ultimately, Frozen gets a slice along his stomach.

Frozen: OW! Not fair, you have a robot suit!

Frozen gets back up and Emperor fires one more missile, which Frozen jumps up, grabs, turns around and aims at Emperor.

The missile hits EmperorPenguin in the face.

Frozen walks away, grabs the mace and then runs back to finish Emperor off.

EmperorPenguin: NO WAIT NO-

Frozen smashes the Emperor's Face with the mace and limps away.

Frozen: That will send a message.

### Episode 7

EmperorPenguin wakes up in a strange white room: GAH! WHAT THE SQUAWK FROZEN!!!

PenguinMedic: Are you okay?

EmperorPenguin: OF COURSE I AM!

PenguinMedic: Are you sure you don’t have any head trauma?

EmperorPenguin: IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, I ALREADY HAVE HEAD TRAUMA! Where am I right now?

PenguinMedic: Main cruiser.

EmperorPenguin: Excellent! Have we found the location of flamingo city?

PenguinMedic: Yes sir.

EmperorPenguin: Can I go to the deck?

PenguinMedic: Yes, right this way.

EmperorPenguin walks to the deck of the cruiser, where PenguinBot1 and PenguinBot2 are stationed.

EmperorPenguin: You survived!

PenguinBot1: Yes, it’s a good thing you left the instructions to us.

EmperorPenguin: Is my suit fixed?

PenguinBot1: Yes of course sir!

EmperorPenguin: Get my shuttle ready then! I want PenguinGuard and StrongPenguin with me.

PenguinBot2: Yes sir, of course sir!

The shuttle flies out of the cruiser and flies towards the city.

They arrive at the city entrance.

EmperorPenguin walks out with his guard and talks to PenguinGeneral.

EmperorPenguin: Have we stormed the city yet?

PenguinGeneral: No, we are having trouble getting through the metal trapdoor.

EmperorPenguin looks down and sees the metal ground.

EmperorPenguin: Shoot the laser at the ground. Make a small hole.

EmperorPenguin: I will sit on this conveniently placed throne.

He sits on the throne and it vanishes, and he falls into a hole.

PenguinGuard: HEY! FLAMINGOS COPIED OUR ENTRANCE! ALL SOLDIERS, DOWN THERE!

The Penguin army charges down into the hole and into FlamingoCity.

EmperorPenguin gets run over by the wave of soldiers running down into the city, until they all get into battle.

EmperorPenguin gets lent a hand, and gets pulled up by…

Frozen: I hope you’re proud.

### Episode 8

EmperorPenguin: Oh yes, I am very proud.

Frozen: Look at the city, look at the destruction you are causing.

Emperor and Frozen look at the city for a while. Watching the destruction and murder ensue.

EmperorPenguin: Pretty awesome, right?

Frozen: I don’t think 20,000 flamingos agree with that.

EmperorPenguin: That’s their problem.

Frozen: A problem you are causing.

EmperorPenguin: You’re right. This is all wrong. I must have just been a bit angry that you guys killed Penguin Noob.

Frozen: Penguin noob is dead?!?!!?!

Emperor: Yes, a flamingo murdered him with a knife.

Frozen: Well that must have been one of Alacante’s flamingos, not ours. We are strictly anti Alacante.

EmperorPenguin: OH SQUAWK! EVERYBODY STOP!!!

The entire battle stops (every laser just stops)

EmperorPenguin: EXCEPT YOU LASERS!

The lasers continue to fire, killing some people.

EmperorPenguin: THIS HAS ALL BEEN A HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING! WE WERE MEANT TO DECLARE WAR ON ALACANTE FLAMINGO’S, NOT YOU GUYS!

Flamingo crowd: OKAY! APOLOGY ACCEPTED!

EmperorPenguin: AND PENGUIN SOLDIERS, GO HOME!

Penguin crowd: YES SIR!

Frozen: That resolved way too quickly.

EmperorPenguin: We all resolve too quickly. Goodbye Frozen, I hope we meet again!

Frozen: Same, just under different circumstances.

EmperorPenguin walks away with his army.

PenguinGuard: What now sir?

EmperorPenguin: Go home I guess.

## Season 3

### Episode 1

EmperorPenguin: This is the body of Penguin Noob, dear friends of ours in the land of Cuiseene.

Hello: They’re dead!?

Besic: Oh god.

Emax: sus

Cereally: WHAT THE HELL

Haha yes: How???

EmperorPenguin: I am afraid Alacante is striking at the strongest people. Penguin Noob was murdered by one of Alacante’s assassins.

Haha yes: It seems the factor in the death here is Flamingos.

Emax: I propose that we kill all of the flamingo kind!

Besic: No No! All of “Alacante’s” flamingos. Some are innocent.

EmperorPenguin: The thing I want you to do is remove all weapons from the flamingos, and just be cautious around anyone you don’t know. Tighten security as well.

Hello: Hey, can I come along to your city? You look like you need a companion now that yours is dead.

EmperorPenguin: Sure.

PenguinBot1: Hey! We’re your companions!

PenguinBot2: Maybe we don’t count because we’re penguin bots.

EmperorPenguin: We must leave straight away.

Meanwhile…

KingPenguin relaxes on his throne.

PenguinServant: Sir, there is an incoming transmission from AL

KingPenguin: Put him on.

The video call starts.

KingPenguin: Al… my lord.

Alfredo: I would prefer the name “Alfredo”

KingPenguin: Yes, my lord.

Alfredo: Have you dealt with EmperorPenguin yet. My uncle requested it 2 seasons ago.

KingPenguin: Unfortunately, no. However, Frozen and PenguinNoob have been dealt with.

Alfredo: If you fail to murder EmperorPenguin, your storied life will come to an unceremonious end.

KingPenguin: Yes, my lord.

Alfredo: I hope you don’t fail me again.

### Episode 2

EmperorPenguin arrives at the city with Hello, and StrongPenguin and Penguin Bots, and the PenguinGuard.

The ship flies into the hangar bay.

EmperorPenguin: I don’t remember this many soldiers being on patrol.

PenguinGuard: It is strange, but I would assume it is just because we had a war a while ago.

EmperorPenguin: True.

They all exit the spaceship.

EmperorPenguin: Hey, soldier, can you get me a slab of bacon-

Soldier: By order of the New Emperor of Penguin Nation, you are to be arrested.

EmperorPenguin: Wait what-

\*Epic fight scene\*

EmperorPenguin punches the soldier, then he gets knocked out by another soldier.

All the other members of EmperorPenguin’s side put their hands up.

EmperorPenguin wakes up in a jail cell with Hello.

Hello: How many times do us mods get locked up in jail cells???

EmperorPenguin: Quite frequently, actually.

Hello: It must be quite boring getting put in jail cells like this all the time.

EmperorPenguin: It usually happens like once or twice a month.

Hello: So, what now?

KingPenguin: I’ll tell you what now.

### Episode 3

KingPenguin: My dear, dear brother. It is a shame you had to get in my way.

EmperorPenguin: What do you want?

KingPenguin: The throne, obviously! You have unjustifiably taken the throne from me twice, me being the rightful ruler!

EmperorPenguin: Okay, okay, you can keep the throne, it’s been super hard to rule PenguinCity anyway!

KingPenguin: Not just that. My uncle wants me to murder you! I don’t actually wanna do that.

EmperorPenguin: HE WANTS TO MURDER ME?!?!

KingPenguin: And even crazier. His uncle, his uncle is ALACA-

KingPenguin gets shot in the back and falls down.

Behind him stands Alfredo and two soldiers.

Alfredo: Hello my “dearest” nephew. It is me, your uncle. Alfredo.

EmperorPenguin: You’re pink!?

Alfredo: My father’s genetics. A flamingo of course.

EmperorPenguin: Oh god.

Hello: Guys, can I talk-

EmperorPenguin: Quiet, this is a family reunion.

Alfredo: My uncle, Alacante has requested your assimilation.

EmperorPenguin: ALACANTE IS MY GRAND UNCLE-

Alfredo: Yes, but he’s more of a cousin to me. We are around the same age after all.

EmperorPenguin: ALACANTE IS MY GRAND UNCLE?!?!?!?

Alfredo: Yes. Now stay here until the public execution ceremony.

EmperorPenguin: Oh god. Do we get like, a last wish or anything?

Alfredo: Oh yes, you can get a certain “Besic” as well.

A guard throws Besic into the cell and they leave.

EmperorPenguin: Besic??

Hello: Besic!

Besic: Besic!?!?

EmperorPenguin: Phew, he’s alive.

Hello: I do hope he’s okay.

Alfredo opens the door and looks in.

Alfredo: I forgot to tell you, I am the new Emperor now.

EmperorPenguin: Oh god…

Alfredo: And remember, the execution is tomorrow. Sweet dreams!

### Episode 4

Hello: Oh, I’m so scared… I never thought I’d be executed, even despite all the crimes I committed.

Besic: Do you think it’s an injection or like, a guillotine?

EmperorPenguin: Don’t worry! Just say “No”! He can’t legally execute us without our consent!

Besic: I don’t think that’s how this works?

Alfredo walks into the cell and looks around.

Alfredo: Okay you guys, what are your final wishes before the execution?

Besic: A file and two days until our deaths.

Hello: To get the song “Friday” sung to me before I die.

EmperorPenguin: To be executed before “Friday” gets sung to Hello.

Alfredo: Here you go Besic, here is Microsoft File explorer.

Besic: Wait! That’s not the type of file I asked for-

Alfredo: Specify next time. You will all be executed in two days then.

Hello: Why did you ask for a file explorer?

Besic: I meant to ask for one of those files that’s like a cheese grater!

Hello: Oh… Should we check out the file you got though?

EmperorPenguin: Yes, upload it onto my phone.

One upload later…

Hello: Okay play the video!

Besic presses play and the video starts playing.

How to break out of jail without any equipment. Step 1:

EmperorPenguin: I think we just stumbled onto something amazing…

Besic: We have to make a plan around this.

Hello: Yes, let’s start drawing it.

EmperorPenguin: OOH! Can I colour in?

Besic: And can I do the shading!?

Hello: Yes, yes and yes.

### Episode 5

EmperorPenguin, Hello and Besic are each hiding in the bottom left and right corners of their cell, where the guards can’t see them.

The guards walk in and get knocked unconscious by Besic and Hello.

EmperorPenguin: This way…

They sneak past a couple of jail cells and the throne room.

Besic: Why is there a dead body next to the throne-

EmperorPenguin: Decorational.

Hello: I am not gonna ask about that.

They continue to go through and then reach an air vent.

Hello: Besic, this is the part where you knock down the air vent.

Besic: How do I do that?

Hello: You kick it like this!

Hello kicks down the air vent.

Hello: Yes, like that.

They all climb into the air vent.

EmperorPenguin: PGHuhg

Hello: COUGH COUGH COUGH

Besic: The air vents are much dustier in real life than in the movies. Cough.

EmperorPenguin: When I become Emperor again, I will vow to clean every air vent regularly! Just in case we need to make a prison escape.

They break out of the air vent and land in a freezing chamber.

Besic: Ew, you eat this stuff?

EmperorPenguin: Fish is nutritious, but I prefer a good old bowl of Chocula.

They open the door and it leads straight out of the castle into the city.

Besic: Phew, we escaped!

Hello: That was almost too easy.

EmperorPenguin: You two, leave penguin city. Hijack a spaceship or something, I have unfinished business here.

Hello: Okay, well goodbye Emperor!

Besic: I hope you survive.

### Episode 6

Alfredo wakes up on his throne and looks around.

Alfredo: Something isn’t right…

EmperorPenguin: Of course it isn’t.

EmperorPenguin and Alfredo stare at each other.

Alfredo: How did you escape-

EmperorPenguin: Simple enough. My ninja skills.

Alfredo gets off the throne and looks at EmperorPenguin.

Alfredo: Have you ever heard of “Hete McGun” my dearest nephew?

EmperorPenguin: That criminal penguin that wandered the deserts. Of course I have. He is long gone now.

Alfredo: Are you sure about that?

EmperorPenguin: Yes, he was shot in 2018.

Alfredo: What if I told you, I am Hete McGun.

EmperorPenguin: WHAT-

Alfredo: Thought to be dead many years ago. But I woke up. I survived the gunshot. And now I am back. For vengeance.

EmperorPenguin looks at Alfredo and then hovers his wings over his gun.

Alfredo: Don’t try me with that.

Alfredo hovers his pink wing over his gun.

They stare for a while.

EmperorPenguin is sweating.

Alfredo: I always win a traditional western duel.

Alfredo looks at EmperorPenguin for a bit.

Alfredo pulls the gun and shoots EmperorPenguin in the chest right before EmperorPenguin pulls it.

Alfredo: Another dead body from the family. We do tend to kill each other a lot.

Alfredo sits down on the throne with the body of EmperorPenguin at his side.

Alfredo: I always need a rest after this kind of duel- I have to get some rest.

Alfredo falls asleep slowly.

### Episode 7

EmperorPenguin opens his eyes and looks around.

EmperorPenguin: Phew… I survived…

He looks at the sleeping Alfredo.

EmperorPenguin: I want some revenge. But not any petty revenge. I want some stuff that’ll stay on him forever.

EmperorPenguin picks Alfredo by the feet and drags him along the floor.

Alfredo wakes up and shouts.

Alfredo: GAH! WHAT THE SQUAWK-

Alfredo gets pulled into a retail store and punched in the face.

EmperorPenguin: TAKE THIS!

EmperorPenguin smashes a jar of honey over Alfredo.

EmperorPenguin: AND THIS!

EmperorPenguin hits Alfredo with a pillow repeatedly until the pillow explodes covering Alfredo with feathers.

Alfredo: HELP-

EmperorPenguin: TAKE THIS HETE MCGUN!

EmperorPenguin rolls Alfredo up in a carpet and pushes him down the stairs.

EmperorPenguin runs down the stairs and picks up the carpet and throws it out of the store, walking after it while everyone else watches.

EmperorPenguin is staring down at Alfredo.

EmperorPenguin: Hete McGun, former Emperor of PenguinCity, the PenguinEmpire. Get out of my Empire. AND STAY OUT.

EmperorPenguin pulls out his gun and aims at Alfredo's feet, Alfredo quickly dodging and running away.

EmperorPenguin: I declare myself Emperor of PenguinEmpire.

EmperorPenguin’s phone rings.

EmperorPenguin: Huh? Who is this? Oh Cereally. Ah, a meeting. Of course!

### THE END

Alfredo: Alacante… I have failed.

Alacante: I tolerate failure. Do not worry. We will win this war against CerealNation.

Alfredo: Yes. Of course sir.

**CEREALLY MOVIE TWO TEASER**