Unikitty X Tawog Parody The Gripes

[It's morning in the Unikingdom. Then in Unikitty's room, the alarm clock goes off as a tune. Puppycorn comes and Unikitty gets up and dances sleepily]

**Unikitty:** Ughhhhh.

**Puppycorn:** Problem, buddy?

**Unikitty:** I really like this song, but I want to sleep some more.

**Puppycorn:** [Laughs] Okay. I’ll turn it off, then. [Switches off]

**Unikitty:** Ugh! But I really liked that song.

**Puppycorn:** Ha! Oh, no problem! [Switches on] Listen to the song then.

**Unikitty:** Ughhhhh! But I want to sleep some more.

**Puppycorn:** [Laughs impatiently] Let’s just have breakfast.

**Unikitty:** Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

[Scene skips to Unikitty opening the fridge]

**Unikitty:** Ughhhhh! There’s too much food in the fridge, and the milk is at the BACK. But the back's cold.

[Puppycorn sneaks behind her, about to knock her out with a toaster]

**Hawkodile**: Breakfast!

**Puppycorn:**: [Drops toaster] [Laughs] It’s okay. Hawkodile made us BREAKFAST!

**Unikitty:** Ugh! He used the sausage for the eyebrows instead of the MOUTH so my breakfast face looks mildly alarmed instead of smiling.

**Dr. Fox:** Okay. Can we stop with the bad vibes, please? You’re turning my milk sour.

**Unikitty:** Ugh! You don’t understand my pain. So don’t judge my life, 'kay?

**Puppycorn:** [Laughs irritably] [Throws Unikitty] Let’s just watch some TV.

**Unikitty:** Ughhhhh! The remote is too FAR from the couch!

**Puppycorn:** NO PROB-LEM! I’ll get it.

**Hawkodile:** Unikitty looks sad today. What should we do?

**Dr. Fox:** [Sarcastically] I know! We should go and buy this poor, privileged cat an incredible surprise present. So she can have something new to gripe about.

**Hawkodile:** Okay!

**Dr. Fox:** Really? Is everyone in this family immune to sarcasm?

[Unikitty plays a game. She moves his character to talk with another]

**Unikitty:** Ughhhh! I love this game, but I don’t have the patience to get into the STORY. [Skips dialogue] Ughhh! I pressed a time too many, now we have to go through that whole dialogue AGAIN.

**Puppycorn:** Ehhhh… [Explodes with fury and burns background] [In deep voice] THERE! YOU HAPPY NOW? YOU PUT ME IN A BAD MOOD TOO!

**Unikitty:** Ughhhh! You’re setting the couch on fire!

**Puppycorn:** Ugh! You’re so annoying!

**Unikitty:** Ughh!

**Puppycorn:** Ughhh!

**Unikitty:** Ughh!

**Puppycorn:** Ughhh!

**Unikitty:** Ughh!

**Puppycorn:** Ughhh!

**Unikitty** **and** **Puppycorn:** Ughh!

**Unikitty:** Come on. Let’s get outta here. I’ve run out of things to moan about.

[They walk along some stores]

**Unikitty:** Ughh! Dude, your new sneakers are too bright. They’re burning my retinas!

**Puppycorn:** Dude, you’re making me foot-conscious. Come on, help me dirty them up.

[Unikitty wipes her feet on Puppycorn's shoes]

**Puppycorn:** Dirtier.

[Unikitty wipes her feet on Puppycorn's shoes again]

**Puppycorn:** A little more.

[once Unikitty wipes her feet on Puppycorn's shoes]

**Puppycorn:** A little more.

**Puppycorn:** Ughhhh! Too dirty. [Throws shoes away] Thanks a lot. Now I’m NAKED!

**Unikitty:** Ohh! You’re so moany. [Grabs garbage bags] Just wear these.

**Puppycorn:** Aah-ohh! Now I look like I got my feet from a grocery store.

**Unikitty:** I'll throw my shoes away [she throws her shoes] Now I feel overdressed next to you. [Puppycorn rips Unikitty's shirt] That was my favorite shirt.

**Unikitty and puppycorn:** Ughhhhh!

**Katekite:** Guys, are you okay? You look really, uh...waterproof.

**Unikitty:** Ughh! Life is horrible, man.

**Katekite:** What’s wrong?

**Unikitty:** What is not wrong? I’m starving. I’m wearing rags. I’m-

**Katekite:** Shhhh! Say no more. I can see the pain in your eyes. [Shouts] THESE SIBLINGS NEED HEEEEEELP!

[Nearby, Q.T. is about to give money to a Lego Hobo]

**Q.T.:** Oh, my gosh! [Runs off only to come back and take The Hobo's hat] They might need this, as well. [Runs off again only to come back and take the Hobo's wallet] And this. [Approaches Unikitty and Puppycorn] Please take these. [Takes off boots] And these. [Takes off her bow] And this. Oh! [Takes kidney out] [Wheezes] And this.

**Unikitty:** I’m pretty sure you’re gonna need that kidney.

**Q.T.:** Maybe. [Falls down]

**Hippie:** Aw, I always knew you guys had problems. But I never realized how bad it was.

[Unikitty's stomach growls]

**Lego Hobo:** Have you eaten today, Little cat?

**Unikitty:** No, I haven’t. But it’s because-

**Lego Hobo:** Eat! [Holds out burger with flies and a worm in it]

**Unikitty:** Oh-ho-ho! [Laughs] I think there’s a misunderstanding here.

**Lego Hobo:** Pride is important, but sometimes you have to accept the help of others.

**Unikitty:** Heh. No, sir. You don’t understand.

**Lego Hobo:** Swallow your pride and eat!

**Unikitty:** Aah! Okay. Okay [Takes a bite and slurps worm] [Gags]

**Hippie:** She’s so grateful, she’s got tears in her eyes.

**Really Old Edith:** Here you go, kitty. [Donates money]

**Stellacopter:** It’s not much, but it’ll help. [Donates money]

**Unikitty:** People, please! Seriously, we’re not poor!

**FeeBee:** Of course you’re not. You’re richer than all of us, in here. **eveny** That’s not your heart, is it? Sorry, I’m a Flower. I don’t really know how you people work.

**Puppycorn:** Trust me, guys! We’re fine! It’s not like we’re on the streets or anything!

**Unikitty:** Although, technically, we kind of are, since our bodyguard took the car and left.

[The crowd gasp]

**Green Mom:** I always knew he was a bad bodyguard. [Fastens seatbelt around groceries] His big, happy, Muscles, evil face, his sinister dimples, and those beady doe eyes. [Puts his son in the trunk]

[In the Unikingdom store]

**Hawkodile:** So, what do you think will make him happiest? A go-kart or a real pony?

**Dr. Fox:** Sarcastically Why not buy the whole store? It only comes to a billion dollars.

**Hawkodile:** Oh. Okay! [Grabs everything he can]

[Dr. Fox grabs a glove, and facepalms]

**Glove**: High five!

**Hawkodile:** Was that sarcasm again?

**Dr. Fox:** Yes! So, do you get it now?

**Hawkodile:** Yeah!

**Dr. Fox:** Are you lying?

**Hawkodile:** Yeah.

**Dr. Fox:** Would you like me to explain it again?

**Hawkodile:** Yeah.

[A crowd gathers around Unikitty and Puppycorn being rallied on by the Hippie]

**Hippie:** So. How are we gonna raise money for these poor, broken little children?

**Q.T.:** Let’s do a charity calendar!

**Old Timey Mustache Man:** Can we make it a naked calendar?

**Lego Hobo:** Let’s put on a music festival!

**Old Timey Mustache Man:** Can we make it a naked music festival?

**Katekite:** Let’s do a charity bake!

**Old Timey Mustache Man:** Can we do it naked?

**Hippie:** All right. Who keeps saying that?

**Old Timey Mustache Man:** What? All I have is a mustache, and I really want to be involved. You guys have to tell me if I need to buy a hat or something.

**Unikitty:** Okay. I’m going to say this now in a way that is impossible for you to misunderstand. I mean only the words I am saying right now. There are no hidden meaning or subtexts: we do not need your charity!

**Fat Lego Person:** [Sobs then hugs Unikitty] You’re such a brave soul.

**Unikitty:** Mm! Mm! Ohh. [runs out of breath]

**Crowd**: Awww!

[cut to the Unikingdom Store again]

**Hawkodile:** Okay. So, sarcasm is when you say something you don’t mean but with an eyebrow raised?

**Dr: Fox:** UGH!! [Facepalms]

**Glove**: High five!

**Dr: Fox:** Close enough. Look, why not try it on this lady here?

[Hawkodile runs to a Lego Lady]

**Hawkodile:** My nipples are purple! [Whispers] Not really. That was sarcasm.

**Glove:** High five!

[The Hippie plays a guitar while the crowd watches and cheers]

**Hippie:** [Singing] Love can set you free. Because love has got the key! Love can cross the sea because love can water-ski. Love can make you live for eternity! Well, not literally.

[The crowd cheers]

**Hippie:** Thank you! Thank you! The response so far has been amazing, but please continue giving so we can spark hope in these kids' hearts and let their spirits burn as bright as these symbolic candles.

**Unikitty:** Okay, dude. This has gone too far. Tell them the truth.

**Puppycorn:** Why me?

**Unikitty:** Because [Gives megaphone] you have the megaphone.

**Hippie:** Our young friend Puppycorn wants to say something to you all!

[The crowd cheers again]

**Puppycorn:** We’re not poor.

**Dino Dude:** They lied to u-u-u-us!

[The crowd pulls out pitchforks in fury]

**Unikitty:** Hahahahahahaha! People, please! Put down these pitchforks… that you took to the mall for whatever reason. We didn’t lie! We’re mega poor, right, Bro?

**Dainty:** PROVE IT!!!!.

**Unikitty:** Sure! We’re, um… we’re like, so poor that we can’t afford free stuff! We’re so poor that we lick stamps for breakfast! We’re so poor that we opened an e-mail account just to eat the spam!

**Old Timey Mustache Man:** That’s not proof! That’s just jokes stolen from the internet! These guys are fakes!

**Unikitty:** What do you want from us?! Do you really want to see us eat dog food in our squalor dump of a house, wearing garbage bags?! Is that it?! Would that make you happy?!

**Hippie:** No, no. I believe you. I’m sorry we ever doubted you.

**Puppycorn:** NO DUDE! Come to our house! Come on! Our house’s not good enough for you?!

**Hippie:** Oh, no, no, no. I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult your hospitality. S-sure, we’ll come.

**Unikitty:** [Nervously] Hahahahaha! Okay! Okay. Uh, just give us five minutes to tidy up.

[At home, Unikitty repeatedly taps Puppycorn]

**Puppycorn:** So, what’s the plan?

**Unikitty:** We got to show them what they expect to see. Let’s trash everything, fix it all with their big check, and go back to our lives.

**Puppycorn:** I-

**Unikitty:** Zip! Before you say anything, do you have a better plan? Then you have two seconds to look as disapproving as you can.

[Puppycorn looks disapproving]

**Unikitty:** Good! Now let’s get on with it! [Starts trashing house]

**Puppycorn:** I don’t feel comfortable doing this.

**Unikitty:** Just remember… It’s all for charity.

[Puppycorn carefully and gently trashes the houses]

**Unikitty:** Dude, we’re on the clock here! Smash faster!

**Puppycorn:** I’m doing it as fast as I can!

**Unikitty:** Then smash smarter!

[He knocks a table down, and launches an object which causes the curtain to push the lamp over to the TV. This makes the TV explode and part of the ceiling to break down]

**Unikitty:** Uh…yeah. More like that. [Throws washing machine and jumps on clothes]

**Puppycorn:** Hmm. We’re gonna need help. [Breaks window] [Sings] Come and help, my little friends!

[Crows fly inside]

**Puppycorn:** Hahaha! Very good! Very good! [Sings to mouse hole]

**Puppycorn:** Come out and spread your disease! [Rats stampede onto the floor] Haha! Very good! [Gets bitten and infected by disease]

[He sings merrily into the kitchen full of cockroaches]

**Puppycorn:** Excellent! Good work, everyone!

[Cockroach squeaks]

**Puppycorn:** What’s that, my little friend? [Gasps] You’re right. We need a final touch.

[A skunk sprays its odor all over the place]

**Puppycorn:** Hahahaha! Good job! Good job! [Sings] [Gags]

**Unikitty:** [Cuts clothes] So, ready yet?!

**Puppycorn:** [Throws mattress out of window] Almost! [Sees a dog] Oh, a disreputable dog breed. Nice touch.

**Unikitty:** “Friendship, understanding, acceptance”?

**Puppycorn:** Well, if we have to be vandals, we should at least carry a positive message.

[The crowd is heard arriving]

**Unikitty:** Uhh! Get in the house! Get in the house!

**Crowd**: Love can cross the sea.

**Unikitty:** Okay, here it goes. [Scratches herself with rat] How do I look?

**Puppycorn:** Contagious.

**Unikitty:** Good.

**Hippie:** [Knocks on door; knocks down door] Even in my worst nightmares, I wouldn’t have imagined it would be this bad. [Points to a group of rats with their tails tied together] Is that what people call a rat king?

**Unikitty:** No, Man. It’s what we call “dinner.”

**Hippie:** Bring forth the check!

[Dino Dude comes to them with a check, making a melody with his mouth]

**Dino Dude:** Sorry, I just thought it would sound more impressive with some music. Ne-never mind.

**Richard:** [Arrives] What is going on here?! Who trashed the house?!

**Lego** **Hobo**: They trashed the house on purpose! They lie-e-e-ed!

[Crowds raises pitchforks in the air]

**Hippie:** Well, you won’t be needing this! [Tries to tear check apart] Well, you get the idea.

**Unikitty:** No, wait! Now the house is actually trashed, we really do need your help!

**Crowd**: Ahhh. [Replaces pitchforks with candles]

**Hawkodile:** [Holding a lot of stuffs] Hey Guys! I got you jet skis!

**Lego** **Hobo**: Your bodyguard is not a monster!

[Crowd raises pitchforks in the air]

**Dr. Fox:** No, wait! You should see how much hawkodile spent on these! We are broke now!

**Katekite:** So, are you poor or not?!.

**Hawkodile:** Yeah, sure. [Sarcastically] I’m an unemployed man with three friends and a brick. I’m obviously a millionaire.

[Crowd raises pitchforks in the air once more]

**Dr. Fox:** Eh, bad timing. But good sarcasm.

[Dr. Fox and Hawkodile run to the house, screaming]

**Puppycorn:** Please stop! You guys are insane! You change your mind for yes-

**Crowd**: Ahhh. [Replaces pitchforks with candles]

**Puppycorn:** Or no-

[Crowd raises pitchforks in the air once more]

**Puppycorn:** Hello-

**Crowd:** Ahhh. [Replaces pitchforks with candles]

**Puppycorn:** Or goodbye-

[Crowd raises pitchforks in the air once more]

**Puppycorn:**: An apple-

**Crowd**: Ahhh. [Replaces pitchforks with candles]

**Puppycorn:** Or an orange-

[Crowd raises pitchforks in the air once more]

**Puppycorn:** A durp-

**Crowd**: Ahhh. [Replaces pitchforks with candles]

**Puppycorn:** Or a blurp.

**Crowd**: [Raises pitchforks] Ahhh- [Raises pitchforks] Ahhh- [Raises pitchforks] Ahhh- [Raises pitchforks] Ahhh- [Replaces pitchforks with candles]

[The crowd repeats this until Unikitty stops them. While she speaks, her gang enters the house]

**Unikitty**: Everybody listen! I think we all learned a very important lesson today, and this lesson is… don’t complain! Be happy with what you got. No that’s not the quite right. Uh, be careful of what you say! Nah, no, that’s not it either. Uh, don’t jump to conclusions! No, no. Don’t try to be something you’re not, cause, uh… Be yourself? I don’t know, man. Maybe the lesson is sometimes some people do stuff, things happen and it kind of goes nowhere. Anyway [Takes check] thanks for the check. Bye!

[She tries to go inside her house, but the check prevents her. Eventually she goes in. Then the episode ends]