Aunt Matilda

Fanart by Shyranno

- Jolly Good Person (nephew/niece/relation)

- Husband

- Unnamed sister (mother of The Jolly Good Person) †

- Sam (uncle) †

- Elizabeth (aunt) †

- Zelda (aunt) †

Matilda Featherstonehaugh resides at Merryweather Manor in Flutterbury with her brother Choldmondley and his son Marmaduke. She is concerned with the improvement of her younger relations, particularly Marmaduke and the Jolly Good Person. While in London, she and Marmaduke stay in a suite at the Grand Grosvenor Hotel. Matilda recommends improving books to both of them. She manages the Jolly Good Persons' inheritance until they "reach maturity." Matilda, thus far, has not judged the Jolly Good Person worthy of that designation. As a result, she has been paying their way through university and sending them a monthly check.

She considers herself "ghastly busy with philanthropy and various business ventures."

## Physical Appearance

Aunt Matilda has brown eyes, although she specifies that they are honey-cinnamon. According to Lady Werther, the Jolly Good Person is the spitting image of Aunt Matilda.

In Chapter 2, she is wearing a loud, striped turquoise-and-yellow dress with gold fringe along the waist, large, dangling gold hoop earrings, a dangling gold teardrop pendant, and half a dozen dangling gold bangles. Her hands are full of heavy gold rings.

## Hobbies

### Acting

In her younger days, she was something of an actress, playing the roles of Lady Macbeth in *Macbeth* and the Earl of Westmoreland in *Henry V*.

### Baccarat

She plays it at Mrs. Mudwasp's. Aunt Primrose also attends.

### Dog

Although not necessarily a hobby, Aunt Matilda owns a dog.

### Literature

In Chapter 1, the Jolly Good Person can read an extremely dense historical biography of Hildegard of Bingen that Aunt Matilda recommended. They note that although Aunt Matilda is not someone they would choose to pick their reading material, the biography is enjoyable.

In Chapter 4, Aunt Mailtda says that *I, Claudius* is a good book. She notes that she tried reading *Jeuns filles en serre chaude*, but found it to be miserable and decadent trash. She also disliked *Pilgrim's Regress*, stating that she fell asleep reading it a dozen of times and that she dislikes allegories. She mentions that she knows the author socially (C.S. Lewis, who she calls 'Old Jack'). According to her, he is a good enough sort, but not much of a plot writer.

### Scroobles

She runs a literary magazine called *Scroobles*, which she describes as "an unalloyed joy to raise every girl and boy above the *hoi polloi*."

### Smoking

Although she herself smokes, she lectures Marmaduke on why he shouldn't. She says that if her mother could see how ladies smoke in public now, she would have a word with her.

### Writing

She is in charge of the family newsletter. She says she is a better writer than Marmaduke, although he believes this to be untrue.

## Cakes and Ale

### Chapter 1

Matilda is considering investing some money with the proprietor of Spectacles Coffee to open a coffeehouse in Flutterbury and asks the Jolly Good Person to make sure that Spectacles Coffee is the right sort of establishment, attracting artistic types, the intellectual crème-de-la-crème, political thinkers, poets, and philosophers.

### Chapter 2

If the Jolly Good Person has visited Spectacles Coffee and speaks well of it, she decides to invest in it by asking Uncle Chum to write them a large cheque. She does so in order to raise the cultural stock of Flutterbury.

In addition, she asks the Jolly Good Person to plug her magazine during their interview with Jill Bitterberry and badmouth *Willow Moon*, Aunt Matilda's chief competitor.

### Chapter 4

Matilda has lunch with the Jolly Good Person, Marmaduke, and Tabby. She gives the Jolly Good Person tickets to go to the opera as a means of restoring their reputation.

### Chapter 6

Matilda attends the premier performance of *Jusqu'à ce que* at the Chantaclear Lyric Opera House.

## Relationships

### Aunt Zelda

When Aunt Matilda was a child, Aunt Zelda offered her and Uncle Chum a choice of butterscotch and peppermint sweets, and Aunt Matilda insisted upon the butterscotch. Uncle Chum was content with the peppermint.

She has been dead for fifty years now.

### The Jolly Good Person

When they were young, they used to sit on Aunt Matilda's lap and she would read them *Prince Silverwings and Other Fairy Tales* for the thousandth time. Aunt Matilda used to feed them applesauce when they were in their swaddling clouts.

Growing up, they ate formal meals with Aunt Matilda, and she would threaten to rap their knuckles if they used the wrong fork.

### Marmaduke

Aunt Matilda is constantly telling him to speak of more cheerful matters. She also insists that she will ask Uncle Chum to donate all his money to a museum, much to Marmaduke's dismay.

### Parsnip

She is a charity student from Miss. Chinwag's Academy for Perfect Young Ladies. Aunt Matilda gives her a night of culture.

### Primrose Patterson

She is Aunt Matilda's 'good friend'. They are very competitive with one another.

### Mrs. Widgie Goldenrod

They went together to school, where they were very good friends and lifelong pals thereafter. She used to make snorting noises when she slept, like a pig, which is why her nickname was "Piggy Widgy." At the opera, Aunt Matilda says that is being very shameless as she is trying to catch the attention of Lord Thurston, who is three times younger than her.

Aunt Matilda says Mrs. Widge is around sixty years old, meaning that is roughly Aunt Matilda's age as well.

### Uncle Samuel

He was a world traveler who tried to go to the North Pole with a sled pulled by St. Benedict's dogs. He had magnificent hair that was thick and luxurious. He passed away by falling down an old well on Uncle Chum's property.

## Stories about Aunt Matilda

### An obsession with antiques

At a certain period of time, Aunt Matilda became obsessed with antiques, filling the family estate with bric-a-brac in display cases and driving the downstairs maids nearly mad with the amount of dusting they had to do. Aunt Matilda would speak in an affronted tone when she noticed that someone had moved one of her doodads an inch, or when someone questioned the wisdom of spending the family money on what she called a "priceless" seventeenth-century birdcage.

### Spraying her atomizer

When the Jolly Good Person was very young, they took Aunt Matilda's atomizer and spritzed her gardenia perfume all about the house, and then denied it, although they stank of the stuff. At that time, the Jolly Good Person had on Uncle Chum's boots and a poorly-buttoned red union suit.

### Playing pirate with her belongings

When the Jolly Good Person and Marmaduke were young, they played pirate and buried treasure all about the estate, taking valuables and personal effects from Uncle Chum and Aunt Matilda and burying them deeply on the grounds. It was Marmaduke's idea, and the Jolly Good Person were unable to convince him that it would not be a popular game with Aunt Matilda. When Aunt Matilda found out that Marmaduke had removed the silk bird from her favorite hat to serve as a pirate parrot, she was apoplectic. She blamed the Jolly Good Person for not stopping Marmaduke, saying that they at least had a third of a brain, whereas Marmaduke has none. Aunt Matilda's silk bird nor her glasses were ever found.

## Quotes by Aunt Matilda

"*When I make merry, I do it solely with the force of my personality, not three gallons of rotgut*." (Cakes and Ale, Chapter 4)

"*Auntie sees all. Now never lie to me again, and do not stray from the path of virtue. Or I shall kick you downstairs. There we are. Auntie means business. Subject closed*." (Cakes and Ale, Chapter 7)

## Quotes about Aunt Matilda

"*Aunt Matilda is a dream when it comes to money. She will protest with high-pitched and shocked hoots, but she will come across with the readies*." (Marmaduke, Cakes and Ale, Chapter 4)

*"Yes, yes, that's just the sort of thing that old bat Matilda would do, isn't it? She's losing her marbles, you mark my words, and you thrill me with the news, as I intend to take her for a pretty penny when next we play baccarat at Mrs. Mudwasp's."* (Aunt Primrose, Cakes and Ale, Chapter 6)

"*I am looking at a formal portrait of Matilda as a small girl. She looks like a roast duck.*" (Uncle Chum, Cakes and Ale, Chapter 6)