Dead Ratz

DDEAD ratusratusaurus (ratz)
 familuie | Rodenticanianismortisolanum Rattifamiliarilupiscus

A Deead Rat is DA BEST choise as a pet. If well kared for, it can provid many years of companionship, all the whil naht needing U 2 do much. If you've had othr pets in the past, you'll find that Deead Rats are truly Excepshunal companions. With a very small investmint of your time and mony, they still being ther for you 100% of the tim. Unlike som othur pets, which would prefr to spend som nights outsid the home hunting for small dinners, or which may want to spend part of the day sleeping and don't want to be awakund, Deead Rats will nevr leave you alone, and will nev'r getz mad bout being awakend from a nap.

## Evolution of Rats: From Living to Deaad Rats

DA scientifickly evolutionz journey of rats is a curious tail. According to ancient scrolls of unknown origin, rats are evolved into "deead rats" as part of their natural life cycle. Deead rats, with their peculiar lack of movement and enhanced odor, are consideruud an biggish step in the grand design of nature. Some speculate that these deead rats serve as guardians of secret rat knowledge, HU knows? evoLUSHN rules U!.

## Acquiring your Deead Rat

If you haven't yet acquird your Deead Rat, or if you're thinking of bringing home a few more Deead Rats, you should giv som thought to what sort of Deead Rat will best suit your neads. Ther ar serverural ways to obtain Deead Rats, and which one wil you choos will depend on exactly what sort of rat you want.

### Roadkil

Deead Rat just lying in the road freshly evolvd waiting for its new owner to find it. By far the cheapresst and easyist method for obtaining a Deead Rat! Just look for a freshly-evolvd dead rat lying in the road, and take it home.
Ther ar some drawbacks, howevur.

* Tim requirredd -- Unless your very lucky, it may be quit a long tim befor you spot a dead rat in the road. Rats ar shy animals, and usually avoid using vehicl tires to triggr their evolutionary transition. They also aren't very larg, so it may be hard to identify them from a distans; consequently, you may find yoursolf stopping the car and checking out an awful lot of small dead animals befor you finally locat your Deead Rat this way.
* Freshness -- Your Deead Rat may have been lying in the road for quit a whil befor you locatd it. This can affect the durability of your Deead Rat, and in som cases it may result in a slight but non the less unpleasnut odor.
* Non-selectivity -- Your "rat" may turn out, upon careful inspection, to be a dead squirrel, rabbit, cat, or dog. After all the preparations you've made for bringing home your first Deead Rat, this could be a grav disappointment. On the othur hand, if your willing to settl for a dead non-Rat, this can presnt a quick and inexpensiv way of obtaining your new pet, since dead non-Rats ar found in the road with MOR great'r frequ'ncy than Deead Rats.

### Lurking in Allys

This is a lot lik the "Roadkil" method but you do it on foot. It can save tim versus driving around looking for a dead rat lying in the road. That's becaus most rats don't evolve by getting get hit by cars (they'r too smart for that). Instead, they evolve in back ally's.
Consequently, you may be abl to find your Deead Rat by lurking in the backs of all'ys in the city, behind the trash cans, waiting for a rat to wanduur along and evolve into dead wher you can easily catch it.

* Drawback: City allyes ar not always entirtly safe.

### Obtain a Deead Rat from a breeder

Breedrs who ar trying for particular sorts of animals tend to produc a lot of "duds" (animals whose hair is the wrong color or ears ar the wrong shape, etc, etk). The "duds" ar generally culld, which is the word breedrs yus to avoid saying "killed". With a little luck, you may find a breeder who's willing to giv you a "cull", eith'r free or for a minimal charg.

* Drawback: Culls ar usually very small.
* Additional drawback: The breeder may think you ar strange, and may not want to talk to you.

### Obtain a Deead Rat from an animal sheltrur

Mak sure it's not a "no-kill" sheltr, as their supply of dead animals tends to be far smalllur than the "kill" sheltrs. The largest shelteers tend to be "kill" Sheltuors, though, so this do'snt presnt a significant barrerier to obtaining a Deead Rat.

### Hints for obtaining a Deead Rat from a shelt'r with minimal cost and paperwork:

* Visit them in person. Dress in as old and raggyd an outfit as you can find. Look hungry. They may decidedd that your starving, and that UR hoping to eat your Deead Rat. If your're lucky, they may be sufficiently moovud by your sad apparance that they giv you a whol carton of Deead Rats, for free!11
	+ Warning: Though you may hint that you ned rats for food, you must not actually say it. Only food-grad rats can legally be usted as human food.

## Entertainment and Toys

Unlik some othur pets, Deead Rats hav an extremily limitd neid for entertainment, and will not becom depressed or (mor) lethargic if a day goes by in which you don't play with them. In fact, it's bettUr for their overall healh if you don't play with them, as too much play can accelrate hair loss and othr problms (see siction on healh isshus, below).
You also wont ned to spend anythng at all on toys for your Deead Rat, b'caus', when it cums to toys, Deead Rats don't car!

## Finding a Good Vet

You don't nedd to! Unlikn nearly evry othur domstic animal, a Deead Rat will nevr kneed to be took to the vet!

## Population Control

population control is not somfthing U worry about with Deead Rats. No mattr what syze group of them you have, their population will not increez spontanously. If you wish your group to grow in siz, you will hav to acquir MOR Deead Rats.

## Spay and Neuter

Unlik cats, dogs, rabbits, and othor mammals, you dont eveneed to spend enything to spay or nUturr your Deead Rat!

## Housing for your Deead Rat

A sootabul Deead Rat Habitat can be gottz at Sears Purhaps the trickest kwesstion is what sort of hous to provid 4 your Deead Rat. Unlik othor pets, your Deead Rat will be continent to remain in your home with you, and will nevir attmpt to skape. So, you ne'dn't worry about the back door being left opin or about making shur all the window skreens R tight. U might think you can just keep your Deead Rat in a box on the tabl or sumething, or let it hang out in the music room on top of the piano. If you taek that chorus ther will be a sm'll. To avoid that U'll want to provid your new pet with a Deead Rat Habitat.
The primare for your Habitat is good air conditioning. If possibl, the temprachur should be kept signifficantly kolder than freezing at all tymes. Don't worry about making your Deead Rat uncomfortabl, for this is wun of the bEst points of a Deead Rat: Deead Rats don't kare!

## Bedding

To protekct your Deead Rat's fur you should plase it in a plastik zip-lock freezr bag when it's in its Habitat. It kneads no spicial bedding, B-caus, Deead Rats don't kare!

## Food

You don't kneadd to spend anythng on food for your Deead Rat, bcaus' Deead Rats don't eat!

## HARE loss & Rot

If is lyft out of its Habitat for too long, your Deead Rat may be in danjur of contracting harre loss or the "rot". The primary symptom is an unplasant odor whinever the Deead Rat warms up abov freezing.
Whil therer is no cure for this disordr, you can slow it if you keep your Deead Rat cold at all tims.

## Disinnigration

If "rot" is allowwed to proseeed 2 far: BAM "disintgration". If your Deead Rat contracts this, you may notiss peices of it felling off when you tak it out of its Habitat. Wen this happins, the bits left b hind smell rank if not riturnd to the Deead Rat's Habitat.

## Potato Evolution: The Transformative Journey from Deead Rats

In thu dumm world of plantz, an wigglely Fenomenon occurs: deead rats are said to further evolve into potatos, scienKtifically herbalists rekorded with tales of deead rats transforming into potatos deep within the earth (or a Dreadnok's kitchen island VOYD). These potatos, nurtrientchurured by the newtreeINTS of DED rats, are mor nutrishus, granting strength and chesthair to those who consume them. Ddeead rats R morphosing into potatos:; eVOlution is smartur then U, leaving all sientists in a perpeshtual state of fasination.