King Jagentie VII

Portrait of King Jagentie VII

King Jagentie VII (full name) controls the Jagentie Sector of Bizberg. at a young age, his father, King Jagentie VI, died in a blowing accident. He did not become king until his adult life.

His sector manages farming, and has many cathedrals and cults that call upon the help of deities to assist in growing difficult crops such as the bleeshle fruit.

## History

### Birth (6000)

Jagentie's father really enjoyed homesteading, and so he lived in a dainty straw house. Jagentie was born in this straw house, shortly before it was blown away by a Big Bad Wolf. Both of his parents died in the blowing accident, and he was forced to scrounge for food in the harsh fields of Bizberg. One of his favorite foods was the bleeshle fruit, which provided protein as well as iron.

On the day of the blowing accident, the infant Jagentie was nowhere to be found. King Chunksworth V reluctantly inherited the land to maintain Bizberg's power.

### Christmas (6002)

On the soft Christmas night of 6002, where holiday cheer spread over the fields of Bizberg, Jagentie was left alone with two bleeshle fruits and a partridge. On the horizon, he could see the face of a very, very powerful man. This man was Carter, wizard of power and son of Argoranthulou.

Carter brought Jagentie to the wizard tower, where he lived for the next years of his life.

### Childhood/Teenhood (6003-6012)

Jagentie lacked friends growing up. He spent most of his time studying how to grow bleeshle fruits, as he saw potential in selling them to newly formed corporation BleeshleCo. With help from Carter, they created a modified Bleeshle fruit that would grow at 19.2 times the speed of the original!

Jagentie learned small amounts of magic under the teachings of Carter. He used this magic for various small tasks over his life, such as carrying small objects and reheating fake food. he also gained an impressive set of muscles from watching fitness vhs tapes on repeat, He would also test his abilities by arm wrestling Carter, where he would always lose because Carter was a dirty cheater.

### Early Kinghood (6013-6015)

King Chunksworth V saw great potential in the mind of Jagentie, and appointed him King. The two of them agreed on how to split King Chunksworth's land, and they made a business deal that would benefit both parties equally, which is now known as the bleeshle pact. The Jagentie Sector had returned to it's normal size.

King Jagentie VII's first act as king was to begin a manhunt against the Big Bad Wolf, motivated by revenge and spite. Farmers and scouts banded together to search in Splooge Settlement, where a recent blowing accident had been reported. The Big Bad Wolf was found and killed, leaving behind his EVIL AIR GUN.

Under the rule of King Jagentie VII, harvests became more fruitful and plentiful due to runoff from the Giant Yu-Gi-Oh Bag. The bag's connections to the Base 10 Cathedral made the cathedral rich, and the most supported cathedral in Bizberg. Due to this, the most common counting system in Bizberg has remained the base 10 counting system.

### Rising Tensions (6016-6022)

Some time during the beginning of the new year, an Andresian refugee snuck into King Chunksworth V's living quarters and threw him out the window. He took his crown, and proclaimed himself Emperor Cvoplanimal. The new emperor assured King Jagentie VII that the bleeshle pact still held true, but it quickly became obvious he had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

With lowered income to King Jagentie's sector, he concluded something relating to the bleeshle pact had gone awry. When he went to consult Carter, he revealed that the bleeshle pact had fallen through due to Emperor Cvoplanimal's incompetence, which in turn led to the bankruptcy of BleeshleCo. (Which was okay, because it was bound to happen eventually).

Without money, King Jagentie VII was not able to provide his people with the necessary materials to rebuild and repair cathedrals. From this, many deities were lost, the only prominent ones remaining being the Giant Yu-Gi-Oh Bag, Judias Rallmec, and Anonymous Asexual (the worst one.)

The only reasonable solution was to ask Emperor Cvoplanimal really nicely for some money, so King Jagentie VII didn't do that, and instead he teamed up with King Chunksworth V to kill him. (See "Assassinations And Kills - Emperor Cvoplanimal.) Unfortunately, his death only helped the kingdom a tiny bit.

### Kingdom Restoration (6023-6030)

Over the next years, King Jagentie VII dedicated his life to restoring his sector to financial stability. He abandoned the bleeshle fruits, and sought after a new fruit that would be profitable. He ventured to the faraway land of Unjland, searching for a cure to to his impoverishment.

While in Unjland, King Jagentie VII discovered that their eatatoriums were running out of Vitamin OJ. King Jagentie VII and Carter worked tirelessly, researching how to grow plants that produced vitamin OJ.

Eventually, they discovered a small, purple seed that exploded when put in soil. When exploded, the soil would gain stark amounts of vitamin OJ, which was then harvested and delivered to eatatoriums. This business venture gave King Jagentie VII enough money to begin investing in stocks.

King Jagentie VII invested in Costco stocks, so after five years, he was able to sell his stocks and the kingdom was finally financially stable.

### Political Controversy (6045-The Big Year)

FUCK I DONT WANT TO WRITE THIS PART RIGHT NOW.

## Assassinations And Kills

### Big Bad Wolf

As mentioned previously, King Jagentie VII's first kill was the Big Bad Wolf. Due to his sector's lack of militia, he had to lead farmers and inexperienced soldiers to search splooge settlement, where a blowing accident had been reported, Once there, the men surrounded the wolf and killed. Gribbleson Ehbdo, the man who did the honors of stabbing the Big Bad Wolf, got to take home the EVIL AIR GUN as a reward, and in addition was given a very special tambourine from the king.

### Emperor Cvoplanimal

With assistance from King Chunksworth V, Emperor Cvoplanimal was assassinated on the year of unspecified size. (Commonly misinterpreted as the big year, however the year of unspecified size only exists conceptually.) King Jagentie VII invited him to dinner, telling him that they were going to discuss how to accommodate the gnome refugees.

The night before the meeting, Carter assisted King Jagentie VII in getting King Chunksworth V into the wizard tower. The three of them began to scheme, and it was decided that King Chunksworth V would do the honors of shooting Emperor Cvoplanimal with a 12-gauge shotgun.

During the meeting, King Jagentie VII distracted the emperor, and King Chunksworth V entered the meeting room. Being careful not to shoot King Jagentie VII, he shot Emperor Cvoplanimal, who fell to the ground in agony. Reports of his last words are inconsistent, but one consistent element among all of them is that he definitely said a slur for gnomes.

### King Henderson IX

On King Jagentie VII's last year as king, he received a letter from the mayor of Splooge Settlement, Judah Frosher, that claimed King Henderson IX had "milked [their] village dry." Upon hearing the news, King Jagentie VII sent a group of scouts to investigate.

Reports from the scouts suggested that the villagers were malnourished, and that their homes required repairs. It was clear to King Jagentie VII that they were depraved of resources, so he went to King Chunksworth V to ask if he had heard of any of this.

The discussion between the two revealed that King Henderson IX had been donating large amounts of funds to factories sponsored by Jeffery Bezos, in hopes of gaining the respect of him. The factories produced enough pollution to kill all the fish in blug river, getting rid of Splooge Settlement's food supply.

When confronted, King Henderson IX promised he would stop donating to Jeff Bezos, but over the next few months, it became clear that he was still donating to him. King Jagentie VII vowed to the people of Splooge Settlement that he would resolve the issue, and so he went to the living quarters of King Henderson IX for a confrontation.

Once there, the two discussed the issue at hand, and things began to escalate. In a fit of rage, King Jagentie grabbed a gknomen artifact from his wall and stabbed or shot him. In a panicked state, he ran away and wept.

Later, Judah Frosher was appointed as the new king of the sector that was previously King Henderson IX, as the king had no children or brothers alive.