Rocky's Writing Style

The *Belinda Blinked* books are renowned and celebrated for author Rocky Flintstone's continuous use of bizarre language that Team Porno just can't begin to understand.

## List of -ish adjectives

Rocky shows a preference for expressing uncertainty in his prose by softening his adjectives by adding '-ish' at the end. Here's a list of them, and the episode they first appeared in.

* biggish (S3E13)
* flushedish (The Lost Chapter)
* goldish (S5E1)
* goodish (S4E6)
* largish (S3E13)
* longish (S3E4)
* newish (S4E4)
* oldish (S4E8)
* ruralish (Christmas Porno 5)
* shortish (S5E9)
* sixty-ish (S3E9)
* smallish (S3E1)
* thinnish (S3E9)
* twoish (S3E9)
* warmish (S2E14)
* youngish (S1E9)

## Rocky's Longish Sentences

Rocky Flintstone's iconic prose is characterised by the odd extra-long sentences. Here are some of the best: try reading them in one breath.

"She wasn't going to easily waste the expensive 6 hours she'd spent with a personal trainer to not finish mastering the skills which would clinch the biggest pots and pans deal of her career." (Season 2 Episode 13 "Up, up and away")

"Des Martin, recent divorcé and Regional Sales Manager London and South-East for Steele's Pots and Pans, fell to his knees, and with his erect cock slowly started to penetrate his boss Belinda Blumnenthal's already wet vagina." (Season 3 Episode 14 "Belinda's Spiral Staircase")

"A wedding was always a good opportunity to make new business contacts, and Belinda, dressed as she was to die for, was, now, all set." (Season 4 Episode 1 "Dearly Beloved")

"As he tucked into his Full English with all the trimmings, including tomatoes, mushrooms, bacon, Cumberland sausage, beans, black pudding, and granary toast (white would not be healthy enough for a member of her Majesty's spy network), he thought about last night." (Season 4 Episode 7 "Copier Blues")

"Technically he was still on the Steele's Pots and Pans payroll, and Sir James, never a fellow to lose a deal, had threaded the twine of functionality through the loophole of business, and demanded his return to the front line of kitchenware preservation." (Season 5 Episode 2 "Beep...Beep...Beeeeeep")

## Rocky's Fake Brands

Rocky Flintstone avoids naming real brands, for reasons unknown. The following brands are parodies of real-life brands, and the brands they're imitating:

* Special J (*Special K*)
* Fivecar (*Carrefour*)
* U Tube (*Youtube*)
* Bisch (*Bosch*)
* Giorgi Amarnio (*Giorgio Armani*)
* Woodlouse (*Volkswagen Beetle*)
* Harold's (*Harrods*)
* FacePage (*Facebook*)
* Dance in the Sky with the Stars (*Dancing with the Stars*)
* Squailey's *(Bailey's)*

## Rocky's Vaguely Specific Timekeeping

Rocky Flintstone loves to express time down to the minute. This also applies to ages. Sometimes he likes to use a word like 'roughly' or 'approximately', followed by a very specific time. This is an incomplete list, to give some good examples.

"Good morning, ladies," said an approximately 81-year-old gentleman" (Season 2 Episode 11 'Forsters of Knightsbridge, Dressage Outfitters to Royalty')

"Meet me in the leather room in 23 minutes to clear up a few loose ends." (Season 3 Episode 1 'London; Thursday 15.55 Local Time')

"Bloch looked around 49" (Season 3 Episode 6 'Mr Claus Bloch')

"Bang on 1:02 o'clock, the Duchess joined them looking somewhat weather-beaten." (Season 4 Episode 5 'Turkey Sandwich?')

"About 43 minutes later, Belinda Blumenthal was the last person to enter the grotto of presents.' (Christmas Porno 3)

## Rocky's Audacious Analogies

Rocky Flintstone, being the brave and talented writer that he is, likes to invent new ways of describing things. He also got noticeably more adventurous in this regard starting in Book 5. Here are some of the best:

* was heaven on a hatstand
* was as happy as a lark on the farm
* she looked the fucking money-tits
* it was the cow's moo
* as hot as a half-fucked fox in a forest fire
* to be hung like a red London bus
* to do the dog's leg of the work

## Rocky's Peculiar Punctuation

Rocky Flintstone's love of semi-colons can be seen just by his enthusiastic use of them in the titles of his novels and chapters, but his groundbreaking use of punctuation extends beyond that:

"The tyres of the CityJet, squealed only once as the plane touched down at Skipple Airport"

"Belinda, put a hand on hers and said: [..]"

"Now...now, you've had enough Des."

"Oh no!!!!!!!!1"