Asherpate's cars series 3 episode 20: 1995 Brickyard 400

The Brickyard 400 at Indy. Rusty Wallace's hauler brought Rusty, Chick and Eugene to the race after abstracting.

## Transcript

Jeff Gorvette's hauler: We're here, bud!

Jeff Gorvette: Ok! Let's win this race!

Dale Earnhardt: Are you happy that Chick, Eugene and Rusty are abstracting?

Jeff Gorvette: Yeah! They're mean racers! They should be there forever!

Rowley Boltstrike: I agree with both of you guys! Their haulers are gonna arrive without them!

(soon, Rusty Wallace's hauler arives)

(Rusty, Chick and Eugene drove out of Rusty's hauler)

Rusty Wallace: HELLO JERKS!

Chick Hicks: WE'RE GONNA KILL YOU GUYS THIS RACE!

Eugene Carburaski: I agree! There were 4 stages in this Abstract Thought!

Jeff Gorvette: 4 stages?

Dale Earnhardt: You all must be in the 4th stage forever!

Eugene Carburaski: SHUT UP, DALE! I'll tell you all the 4 stages of the Abstract Thought! The first stage is Non-Objective Fragmentation!

Jeff Gorvette: What is it?

Rowley Boltstrike: Yeah! Tell us!

Eugene Carburaski: As we figured out what's happening, our bodies became Picasso-esque blocky structures.

Jeff Gorvette: You're bodies became Picasso-esque blocky structures!? (laughs, because he's the youngest) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Eugene Carburaski: IT'S NOT FUNNY YOU IDIOT! As Chick asked me what's happening, I told him that we're going through the four stages of Abstract Thought, and we were just in the first! Rusty telled us to stay calm and keep together! However, just as he finished his sentence, his left rear end fell off!

Jeff Gorvette: (continues to laugh) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rusty Wallace: IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!

Jeff Gorvette: HOW DID RUSTY'S LEFT REAR END FALLS OFF! (continues to laugh)

Eugene Carburaski: STAGE NUMBER 2, DECONSTRUCTION!

(Jeff Gorvette continues to laugh)

Eugene Carburaski: Our bodies begun to break down and fall apart!

Jeff Gorvette: (continues to laugh) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HOW HAVE YOU GUYS FELL APART!!!!!!!!! (continues to laugh)

Eugene Carburaski: STOP LAUGHING! With that happening, we attempted to make a run for the exit while struggling to hold our bodies up! I quickly told them that if we don't escape, we're going to be trapped in Abstract Thought forever as nothing but shape and color!

Jeff Gorvette: (continues to laugh) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eugene Carburaski: STOP IT! When Chick questioned Rusty why we entered in Abstract Thought, he just replied by saying that you guys pushed us to the building! Moments later, our haulers arrived!

Chick Hicks: That's right! Stage number 3, 2-Dimensionalization!

Eugene Carburaski: As we maked a run for the exit, the screen squeezed in on us,

Jeff Gorvette: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eugene Carburaski: And when it expanded, the we were 2-D drawings!

Jeff Gorvette: THAT MUST BE THE FUNNIEST THING EVER! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eugene Carburaski: STOP IT! IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY IN THE FIRST PLACE! No matter how fast we were running, we were not moving! It turns out the reason we weren't moving was because of the lack of depth because we were 2D figures!

(Jeff Gorvette continues to laugh)

Eugene Carburaski: We tried to climb up to the exit's floor level, but we were too big to fit through the small exit!

Jeff Gorvette: HOW CAN'T YOU FIT THROUGH! (continues to laugh)

Eugene Carburaski: DON'T LAUGH WHEN I'LL TELL YOU THE VERY LAST STAGE!

Chick Hicks: IT'S NON-FIGURATIVIITY!

Eugene Carburaski: We entered the final stage, where we became nothing but single-colored inspirations! Chick was an HTB bank,

(Jeff continues to laugh)

Eugene Carburaski: Rusty was a blue Miller Lite can,

(Jeff continues to laugh)

Eugene Carburaski: And I was a Tank Coat milkshake!

(Jeff Gorvette dies of laughing)

Jeff Gorvette: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rusty, Chick, and Eugene: UGH!

(qualifying)

Ray Reverham: Good job! We're at the pole!

Jeff Gorvette: OH YEAH! WHOOOOO HOOO!

(the race starts)

Ken Squier: And there it is! The race is on!

Jeff Gorvette: Let's do this!

(lap 32)

Ken Squier: It's lap 32! Jeff Gorvette in the lead with Bill Racelott in 2nd, Billy Oilchanger in 3rd, Chick Hicks in 4th, and Eugene Carburaski in 5th!

Ned Carrett: And Bill Racelott trying to take the lead from Jeff Gorvette! Jeff is last year's winner of the Brickyard 400!

Ken Squier: Jeff has started on the pole this race, and Chick Hicks trying to take 3rd away from Billy Oilchanger!

Spike: Chick Hicks looks to the inside, but Billy Oilchanger gets a good block!

Ned Carrett: Now Eugene Carburaski gives Chick a push!

Ray Reverham: Wanna pit?

Jeff Gorvette: Ok! Let's do it!

Ken Squier: Now the leader, Jeff Gorvette drives to pit road! And Bill Racelott comes with the lead! Bill will lead lap 32! It's lap 33! Bill Racelott in the lead!

Ned Carrett: Jeff Gorvette is now on pit road! He will change 2 right side tires and 2 cans of fuel!

Spike: It won't take long. but Jeff is a fast car!

Pinkie: Billy Oilchanger is now in 2nd with Chick Hicks in 3rd! Eugene Carburaski is now behind Chick in 4th!

Ray Reverham: Ok! You're out!

Jeff Gorvette: All right! (drives out of pit road)

Ned Carrett: Now Jeff Gorvette drives out of pit road!

Pinkie: And he's back on the race!

Spike: Chick Hicks trying to pass Billy Oilchanger on turn 3, but Oilchanger gets a good block!

Ken Squier: Jeff Gorvette is way to fast to get a lap down because he's accelarating fast! Billy Oilchanger holds Chick Hicks as Bill Racelott leads lap 33! It's now lap 34! Bill Racelott keeps the lead with Billy Oilchanger in 2nd and Chick Hicks in 3rd!

Ned Carrett: Billy Oilchanger trying to take the lead from Bill Racelott as Chick Hicks drafts along with them!

Spike: Bill Racelott getting a great push from Billy Oilchanger, as they approch turn 3!

Pinkie: Billy Oilchanger hasn't even won a race that year! But he is a fast car!

Octane Gain crew cheif: Inside of the 9 car!

Billy Oilchanger: Ok! (passes Bill Racelott)

Ned Carrett: Billy Oilchanger goes by Bill Racelott and takes the lead!

Ken Squier: Uh, oh! Chick Hicks and Eugene Carburaski are drafting on him!

Spike: And Chick and Eugene were in the Abstract Thought along with Rusty Wallace! Eugeen telled them that there were 4 stages!

Ken Squier: Billy Oilchanger leads lap 34! It's lap 35! Billy Oilchanger is the leader holding Chick Hicks and Eugene Carburaski!

Pinkie: And Jeff Gorvette is currently in 11th spot right now! As Chick Hicks trying to take the lead from Oilchanger!

Spike: Chick, Eugene and Rusty were funny shapes in the Abstract Thought!

Chick Hicks: HA HA HA! Time to pass you!

Billy Oilchanger: NO! (blocks Chick Hicks)

Ned Carrett: Billy blocks him as they come to turn 3!

Ken Squier: Billy leads with Chick 2nd and Eugene in 3rd! Billy Oilchanger still holding Chick from the lead!

Chick Hicks: HA HA HA HA HA HA! SCREW YOU! (bonks into Billy Oilchanger)

Pinkie: Oh no! Chick does the bonk, AND TAKES THE LEAD!

Billy Oilchnager: HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!

Chick Hicks: HA! TIME TO LEAD THIS LAP!

Ken Squier: Chick Hicks gets a push from Eugene Carburaski and will lead lap 35! Lap 36 and Chick Hicks still leading with Eugene Carburaski in 2nd, and Billy Oilchager running in 3rd now becuase Oilchanger got bonked by that mean green car, Chick Hicks!

Spike: Eugene Carburaski still giving Chick a push, and Billy Oilchanger is struggling to pass them!

Ken Squier: They're aprotching turn 3, and Eugene Carburaski looks to the inside of Chick,

Ned Carrett: And takes the lead!

Spike: This is horibble, but they were luckly in the Abstract Thought before this race!

Pinkie: I love the colors of the Abstract Thought, and I hope they will become shape and color in there again!

Ken Squier: Eugene Carburaski leads lap 36!

(lap 101)

Ken Squier: It's lap 101! Bill Racelott is in the lead! Fallowed by Ken Schrader, Micheal Cartrip, Billy Oilchanger and Jeff Gorvette!

Ned Carrett: Ken Schrader trying to take the lead from Bill Racelott, and he's Dale Earnhardt's best friend!

Spike: His teammate, Jeff Gorvette is also Dale's friend becuase Earnhardt likes him a lot!

Ken Squier: Ken Schrader drafting on Bill Racelott as they approch turn 3!

Pinkie: Bill Racelott and Ken Schrader are gonna fight for the lead!

Ned Carrett: Ken and Bill were great friends since when Bill won the Piston Cup in 1988!

Gask-its crew cheif: Ready to go to pit road?

Bill Racelott: Ok! All 4 tires and 2 cans of fuel!

Spike: Bill Racelott is now entering pit road, as Ken Schrader takes the lead!

Ken Squier: Ken will complete lap 101! It's lap 102! Ken Schrader leading with Micheal Cartrip is 2nd and Billy Oilchanger in 3rd!

Ned Carrett: Micheal Cartrip drafting along with Ken Schrader! While Billy Oilchanger drafts along with Micheal Cartrip!

Spike: Micheal Cartrip has never won a race in his career, but this race maybe his first!

Ken Squier: They're coming to turn 3! Ken Schrader leading the pack with Micheal Cartrip right behind him!

Ned Carrett: Micheal Cartrip trying to take the lead! Hopefully he'll lead this lap!

Pepsi crew cheif: Wanna come to pit road?

Ken Schrader: Ok! My friend must win this race!

Ned Carrett: Now Ken Schrader is about to come to pit road and Bill Racelott was all ready out!

Ken Squier: Micheal Cartrip comes with the lead and completes lap 102! It's lap 103! Micheal Cartrip leading with Billy Oilchanger in 2nd and Jeff Gorvette in 3rd!

Spike: Billy Oilchanger trying to get by Micheal Cartrip, but Cartrip holds him on the backstrech!

Pinkie: Micheal Cartrip looking for his first win as Billy Oilchanger looking for his first since 1993!

Ned Carrett: They're now approching turn 3! Micheal Cartrip in the lead and Billy Oilchanger drafting on him!

Spike: Hopefully, Micheal will block him and will lead this lap!

Octane Gain crew cheif: Go to the inside!

Billy Oilchanger: Ok! (passes Micheal Cartrip)

Ned Carrett: Billy Oilchanger passes him and takes the lead!

Ken Squier: Now Jeff Gorvette gives Billy Oilchanger and Micheal Cartrip follows behind! Billy Oilchanger gets a great push from Jeff Gorvette and will lead lap 103! It's lap 104! Billy Oilchanger in the lead with the pole siter, and the points leader, Jeff Gorvette in 2nd and Micheal Cartrip in 3rd!

Ned Carrett: And it hasn't been a long time for Jeff Gorvette taking the lead!

Spike: Yeah! Because of that pit stop, and now he's drafting on Oilchanger!

Pinkie: Rusty Wallace now behind Micheal Cartrip! He was also in the Abstract Thought!

Ken Squier: They're entering turn 3! Billy Oilchanger and Jeff Gorvette are accelerating, and Gorvette is a little bit faster!

Ray Reverham: Go to the inside!

Jeff Gorvette: All right! Time to take the lead again! (passes Billy Oilchanger)

Ned Carrett: Jeff Gorvette looks to the inside, and goes by Billy Oilchanger for the lead!

Ken Squier: Jeff Gorvette comes up with the lead again and will lead lap 104!

(lap 109)

Ken Squier: It's lap 109! Jeff Gorvette in the lead with Billy Oilchanger in 2nd and Rusty Wallace in 3rd!

Ned Carrett: And Rusty Wallace is gonna do a bonk into Billy Oilchanger!

Spike: Uh oh! And now he does!

Pinkie: Now he's gonna challange the leader, Jeff Gorvette!

Rusty Wallace: HA HA HA HA! TIME FOR A PASS!

Jeff Gorvette: HEY! YOU'RE THAT BLUE CAR IN THE ABSTRACT THOUGHT WITH CHICK HCIKS AND EUGENE CARBURASKI! (blocks Rusty Wallace)

Ned Carrett: Rusty Wallace trying to pass Jeff Gorvette but Jeff gets a good block on the inside!

Ken Squier: They're now coming to turn 3! Jeff Gorvette holding the lead, but Rusty Wallace will find another way like to wreck him or do a bonk!

Spike: And I acctully hate when Rusty Wallace wrecks him!

Rusty Wallace: HA! SCREW YOU! YOU TOOK US TO THE ABSTRACT THOUGHT! (bonks into Jeff Gorvette)

Jeff Gorvette: HEY! STOP IT!

Ned Carrett: Rusty Wallace does the bonk on Jeff Gorvette and takes the lead!

Ken Squier: Now Larry Smith, Billy Oilchanger and Dale Earnhardt are going by Gorvette as Rusty Wallace leads lap 109!

(lap 132)

Chick Hicks: SCREW YOU, JOHNNY BLAMER! (does a PIT maneuver on Johnny Blamer)

Ken Squier: And we have a car spinning! It's Johnny Blamer hard into the outside wall!

Ned Carrett: This has been a very boring race, and this will be the first caution!

Ken Squier: Dale Earnhardt now bonks on Billy Oilchanger to go to the caution flag!

Arthur Motor (Faux Wheel Drive crew cheif): Once again, IT OVER!

Johnny Blamer: (cries) NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ray Reverham: The caution is out!

Jeff Gorvette: Someone is screaming! I think it's Johnny Blamer! Everytime in a race, Johnny crashes!

(finish)

Rusty Wallace: HA HA HA! SCREW YOU, DALE EARNHARDT! YOU'RE TEAMMATE PUSHED ME TO THE ABSTRACT THOUGHT

Dale Earnhardt: OH YEAH! (blocks Rusty Wallace)

Ken Squier: And Dale Earnhardt will win the 2nd Brickyard 400!

Dale Earhardt: Oh yeah! Victory is mine, Rusty!

Rusty Wallace: I HATE YOU! BEFORE NEXT RACE, WE'RE GONNA PUSH YOU ALL TO THE ABSTRACT THOUGHT BUILDING!

Jeff Gorvette: Hey, Earnhardt, that mean blue car, Rusty Wallace is lying! We must not be send to the Abstract Thought!

Dale Earnhardt: I know! Or we'll be like shape and color!

Jeff Gorvette: Right, Dale!