Beano

credit: farnsworthless

Beano is an ancient artifact of mysterious origin that was retrieved by the Crew from a gazebo on (Redacted) planet, where he was being under the care of Chad. Initially a slightly warm bean about four times the size of a regular bean, Beano hatched and became slightly larger. He also grew arms, legs, eyes and nipples. His eyes are large and spiralled. Beano can be demanding, asking to be told the story of Beano every night as a bedtime story. If the crew refuses Beano goes on a rampage.

Beano appears to have some control over time and space and has been known to grant wishes. The full power of the Beanochron is unknown, however his name as Destroyer of Worlds implies vast power. Beano appears to have an unknown agenda as suggested by his secret interactions with other powerful entities.

## Season 1

* The crew retrieve the relic from Chad.
* When submerged in water, can boil the water while staying only warm . This causes the bean to begin cracking.
* The bean hatches.

## Season 2

* After the mysterious entity Two (a demi-Rodd and member of the even more mysterious "The Collective") tests Pleck, Two returns to secretly meet with Beano. Beano remarks that Two has made excellent progress and thanks him for running a "complicated probability field experiment in quantum space."
* Beano grants Bargie's wish to be a holo star and reverts to being a very hot bean. Dar stores it in their flaps.

## Season 3

* Beano returns to the crew when he is expelled by Horsehat in a sneeze, shortly after Horsehat was born.
* The Emperor, knowing that Beano is an extremely powerful being, attempts to steal Beano for his own purposes. After a great battle between Pleck and The Emperor, Beano throws himself into The Emperor apparently sacrificing himself as the two disappear and the Planet Crusher Crusher collapses on itself.

## Season 4

* Beano appears as part of the fused voice of The Allwheat throughout the season, a voice that taunts and harasses Pleck starting in Episode 403, The Floyda Project.
* In Episode 419, The Story of Beano, Beano pleads with The Emperor to hear a bedtime story filled with elegance, drama, and blood. At the end of the story, Beano and the Emperor fuse back together.
* In the Season 4 finale, Beano saves the crew from an inevitable death by the emperor/the collapse of the Allwheat with the power of his love for the crew.
* He also gets super ripped with a big booming voice as his true form.

## Wuvs

Beano is highly excitable and frequently makes declarations about the things that he loves. Beano struggles to pronounce the word love correctly (although he is capable), so Beano uses the sentence structure "Beano wuvs..." to declare what he loves. Known wuvs of Beano, by episode:

* Episode 201: The Story of Beano
* Episode 208: Questions, pus, 'That Name' (Lirds)
* Episode 209: Dance (sincerest form of expression)
* Episode 210: Industrial sludge, ship pus (similar or identical to industrial sludge), (when) artist's objective is constantly evolving, laps, fixing the ship, changing the sub occulator (?), sticking together the circuit board, to work, fixing ship (again), ship (referring to Bargie)
* Episode 211: Wood saber, elegance, luxury, elegance (again)
* Episode 212: Heat rock (2x), asides
* Episode 214: Yelling, C-53, hyper proton fuel, chilling out, table reads
* Episode 215: Ennui, drama, talking about shrimp, tests, cookies, tests (again)
* Episode 216: Pleck's song, late stage capitalism, drama, 'The Drama', fine woodwork.
* Episode 217: Grounded comedy, comedy that’s not really funny but just sort of somebody's life, the drama, the name Pee-Nee Gorno, saying the name Pee-Nee Gorno, it (referring to the latest episode of 'Beano and Bargie'), analytics
* Episode 218: The Archies, Jade, Beano Jade, it (referring to the name Gus Girt for Bargie), it (referring to the name u.everybody), atmosphere, forgiveness, reveals, Dar (X3), it\* (referring to the name Mr. Bean), physical comedy\*
* Episode 320: A good twist, Bargie, the crew, the story of beano, a hot real verdict, kneeling, finding the light, tickling
* Episode 202 - 207, 213, 219: none
* Episode 419: Elegance, drama, blood, the theatre, starting in media res, The Story of Beano, monetizing content, avoiding a paywall, 'that' story of Beano, The Story of Beano (again)
* Episode 420: The/His Crew

\*From the post-episode bloopers

## Quotes

"Beano know" - said repeatedly.

"Beano think Pleck problematic" - Altar Boy.

“It’s me, it’s Beano!” - First words upon hatching.

"Beano wuv late-stage capitalism," episode 216

"...or Beano go insane"

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 Long Live The Rebellion!
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 Crush Into Me
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 The Emperor Strikes Wack
4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 4.2 Two Who?
5. ↑ The (Redacted)
6. ↑ Dead Subquadrant's Got Talent
7. ↑ The Delegator (episode)
8. ↑ The Unbearable Tightness of Bean
9. ↑ It's Not You, It's Rolphus
10. ↑ 10.0 10.1 Altar Boy
11. ↑ A Wing and a Repair
12. ↑ Shmorby and the Beast
13. ↑ Crystal Boo-Boo Persuasion
14. ↑ The Crews' Ship
15. ↑ Oh, Zima's Back
16. ↑ Pee-Nee's Playlist
17. ↑ The Prattle of Sistoo
18. ↑ The Story of Beano