Smoke and Sail

RUSSELL: Howdy hey, howdy ho. I am Russell Eugene Welch III at your service, DM and in the studio.

*jaunty music starts playing*

We have, though not in the studio, but across the world, in the metaphorical studio, we have Joshua Jenkins playing Vano. This is their little introduction one shot. We will doing one of these with each of the characters, so you can get to know a little bit about who is playing this campaign, and where they come from. You know, we gotta...we gotta suck you in, get you a little emotionally attached, make you care, you know the drill.  So, uh, stick around, and I hope you enjoy it. And definitely look out for everyone else's, 'cause those will be following.

*peaceful music and the sound of water lapping, sail flapping, and seagulls plays*

Off the coast of Coasten, we find ourselves. It's a fairly warm day, the sun is high, and spirits are higher. On the deck, we see many Edwed Major and Minor scurrying about,

*sailors shout and chant in rhythm as they work*

accomplishing their daily chores, boots thumping on the deck as they pull tackle in line and raise the sail, today on the high seas. As Vano walks from below deck, (grunts) stretching out his shoulders, he looks out over the deck and sees, leaning on the rail, an older fellow, long, graying beard falling over his rough sea tunic, and growing up, almost hiding his dark purple and blue striped face, so dark they appear almost black, his old friend Darm. At Darm's shoulder, well, more like at his hip, considering they're an Edwed Minor, is his ever exuberant and brightly-dressed companion, who appears almost like a parrot, ever at his side, his constant shadow, Viddle. Glancing over, uh, Viddle looks you up and down, and snorts.

JOSHUA *(Scottish accent, IC)*: Good morning, Darm and the little wee one.

RUSSELL *(extremely gruff)*: Aye, good morning to you as well.

*(OOC)* Darm says without looking back from over the railing.

*(Darm)* (sighs) If today is a good day indeed, which I suspect that it may not.

JOSHUA *(IC)*: That's fair. It usually goes poorly, but for now, it's pretty decent.

RUSSELL *(Darm)*: Yeah, up until about, uh, when the sun reaches his apex, and then...We'll be swimming.

JOSHUA *(IC)*: Yeah, but, uh, that sounds about right. Well, tell me, these premonitions in your bones? You got any more information than that, or should I just be on guard, yet again?

RUSSELL *(Darm)*: Well, you should know by now, the captain, (sighs) his greed, it's a little, uh...Ah, well, I should say more than a little, it's...far beyond limits, and I...He's gone too far. He needs to stop this, this trade is gonna go south. I...I know it.

JOSHUA: Vano moves up closer so the rest of the crew can't hear.

*(IC)* Well, you know I agree, but you can't be saying that out loud when everyone else can hear that. I agree he needs to calm down,

(Darm grunts)

his greed's gotten enough that even you are saying something. That matters. Y'know, it...you know, I've seen it too, and I'm not about it, I just keep his hide on his...on his flesh. But, uh...

RUSSELL *(Darm)*: You didn't suppose we could talk him out of it, do ya?

JOSHUA *(IC)*: Have you ever known the captain to just roll over with a suggestion?

RUSSELL *(Darm)*: (grunts) I mean, what do you suggest, then?

JOSHUA *(IC)*: Between you and I, I think the Nov Romarans are going to make a move before he thinks they'll...they will. I think it will come early.

*music briefly becomes intense*

We need to be keeping an eye out on the man and on our captain.

*(simultaneously)* RUSSELL *(Darm)*: I mean...

Aye. Aye, I would agree, it seems like they'll make a move any day now, and I...think it's today, I feel it in my bones. Honestly, I'm surprised they haven't made a move months ago, and against my better judgment, I'm still here.

JOSHUA *(IC)*: I see, I told him as much. He took me into his confidence last week after the meet, and told me that he was...he was planning on staying around for a little bit longer to play it out. I told him it was a bad idea, they were going to double cross him. He wouldn't listen.

(Darm laughs)

RUSSELL *(Darm)*: Ah...Great is the fool who thinks he can outplay the bigger player. Uh, wait. That doesn't sound much like wisdom. It sounds like nonsense.

JOSHUA *(IC)*: That's 'cause you haven't had enough grog yet. Drink a wee bit more, it'll make sense.

RUSSELL *(Darm)*: Right, I'm definitely gonna sound wiser after some grog.

JOSHUA *(IC)*: No, no. We'll think you sound wiser. You'll sound the same.

RUSSELL (*Darm*): Ah...you're trying to get me to buy your drinks again, I see how you are.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Damn. It worked last week!

RUSSELL: As the two of you are talking,

*ominous music begins*

and everyone is bustling on deck, you see it peek over the horizon. Around the curve of the shore, as you are not far out at sea, you see it. No mast, an iron vessel, smoke billowing up from it. This is a coal-burning, steam-driven iron cruiser of the Nov Romarian empire. Black smoke billows up from the pipe on its deck.

JOSHUA: Would Vano be expecting a meet today?

RUSSELL: Yes.

JOSHUA: Okay.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Well done.

RUSSELL: This is your typical meet. That being said, the meet is typically at noon, so the ship is hours early. Very early. Typically, you meet here, it's in a cove, and it's a little out of the way, but there are other ships that could sail...that would start sailing by at around noon, and they would witness the transaction. Sort of as a security measure to ensure that no...Things didn't go too south.

JOSHUA: Vano turns...(clears throat)

RUSSELL: But for a vessel to be coming out this time of day it would mean that they don't wish others to know of their presence here.

JOSHUA: Vano turns to, uh...to Darm, and just says quietly,

(*IC*) I've got a bad feeling about that. It's too early, shouldn't be here yet.

RUSSELL (*Darm*): (grunts) This is bad, this is...this is real bad. I d- (groans) We have to talk him out of it. We...we have to turn around now.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Wee Viddle, have you ever known the Nov Romarans to not work like clockwork?

RUSSELL (*Darm*): Oh, I assure you, oh, they're on schedule. They definitely showed up when they wanted to, just not when we expected them to.

JOSHUA (*IC*): That's what I'm saying.

RUSSELL: With a bang, the captain's cabin swings open,

*door slam*

and the captain, Captain Narkorna, steps onto deck.  He steps onto deck, sweeping dramatically his long pirate cloak, his peg leg clamoring on the deck, and then he waves his hands to either side, announcing to the ship,

(*gravelly, boisterous*) Ay, who here's sonny's ready to do some business, eh? It's a fine day to make some money.

(*OOC*) And then he swirls his cloak again, trying very hard to look dramatic.

JOSHUA: Vano starts walking over to him, and, just, kind of waves the crew back to work.

(*IC*) It's alright, go back to work.

(*OOC*) And just walks up to the captain. Just...As he walks up to him, just comes a little closer than normal, and goes,

(*IC*) Captain, they're already here. It's too early for that. They're here now. It's 'cause they don't want to be seen. Remember what we talked about?

RUSSELL (*Narkorna*): I mean...I know that. I, ah, don't take me for a fool. I...I know what they're trying to do, but I just...let me talk to them. I'll talk them out of this like I always do. I...I...I will convince them how goo...I...I'll convince them how good it is of a...to continue business with us.

JOSHUA (*IC*): I'm not sure you're gonna be able to get that close.

RUSSELL (Narkorna): Mm, I... I...I can tell ya, they...they know I'm a discreet man, and they know this is a discreet crew. They...they can trust us, and...and...and we've had good dealings in the past, I... I'm sure they understand the mutual beneficial nature of this agreement.

JOSHUA: Seeing the set of his jaw, Vano, kind of...His shoulders come down just a touch, in resignation. As he pulls away, he's already thinking about how to get off of the ship. Tries to...tries to keep a straight face, though.

(*simultaneously*) RUSSELL: Alright.

If you're looking for a way, as you glance around the ship, you notice that on...There are several different boats that are lashed to the sides of the ship, uh, ready to be let down, so that they could go ashore. There are...Most of them, however, are still upside down, lashed to the center deck, not ready. However, all of the ships...all of the boats here that are set up are all rowboats, and they would probably...They're...they're made to fit about half a dozen people, and would probably take at least four to row.

JOSHUA: Okay. (clears throat) Bearing that in mind, Vano kinda steps out of the captain's way, so he can proceed up to the...to the wheel. Kinda follows him with his eyes, and then looks over at Darm and Viddle, and just says...Sorry, not even says anything, just...nod.

RUSSELL: Well, as you follow the captain with your eyes, you notice, is a normally ruddy brown, uh, and greenish skin has taken on a paler hue, and you notice he's gripping firmly, almost knuckles white, the shaft of his scimitar.

JOSHUA: I'll look over at Darm and Vittle, nod at them, and then nod over at one of the rowboats that have been unlashed. Vano...or, lashed to the side of the ship. Vano's plan, if everything goes sideways, is to try to grab the captain, jump in a boat, and, just, haul it for shore.

RUSSELL: Alright, as you glance at them, and then nod to the boat, uh, Viddle stares at you, bright yellow eyes, for a second, glances at the boat, and then, just...

JOSHUA: After doing our silent communication, Vano follows the captain up to the wheel, just stands at his side, one hand on his pistol at the hip, and the other kind of twitching to reach up and grab the halberd. Not doing it, not grabbing it, just an occasional little tick, his hand tries to come up a little bit.

RUSSELL: Smoke billows higher and closer as the vessel bears down on the ship, anchor still dropped. Captain, uh, grips the wheel, and then, uh, glances over to you, slightly nervously, and then, uh, whispers.

(*Narkorna*) But I, uh, I'm...I...I...Never mind, I don't...don't worry about it.

JOSHUA (*IC*): You know, Cap'n, been together for a while now. You've helped me out of some sticky situations.

RUSSELL (*Narkorna*): Yeah, and don't you forget it!

JOSHUA (*IC*): I've helped you out of a few, too.

RUSSELL (*Narkorna*): Yeah, I won't forget it. Good sea dog never forgets his debts. Not to no Edwed, and never to the sea.

JOSHUA (*IC*): For what it's worth, I'm not going anywhere without you. But I think this is a terrible idea.

RUSSELL (*Narkorna*): I...I wouldn't worry about it too much. I...Um, I...I mean, I'm sure it's all gonna be fine. It's, a, we're a...we're gonna...It's gonna be a dandy. We'll, uh, they'll pick up the goods, uh, we'll shake hands, uh, I'll remind them how good of a relationship we have, it, w-(fumbles)

JOSHUA (*IC*): Wh-that's what you said with the Tekineshi. I had to axe three of their arms off.

RUSSELL (*Narkorna*): Okay, so, um, I'm...Most of the time, my judgment is pretty good, though, right?

JOSHUA (*IC*): Eh.

RUSSELL (*Narkorna*): Oh...

JOSHUA (*IC*): I'm still here. That's the point.

RUSSELL (*Narkorna*): Aight. Yes! Ah, that is the point. Ah, very well said. Ah, you're...you're a wise chap.

(*OOC*) As the two of you converse, the Nov Romarian vessel, water churning in front of it,

*water running*

pulls right up alongside, and a large iron railing...Uh, large iron gate slams down onto the deck. A clang...

*iron chain scraping, clang*

*proud, militaristic introduction/parade music, marching boots*

You hear the thud of boots, and the crisp bright red uniforms of Nov Romarians in, uh, full armor, spears up, shields out. Clomp, thump, thump, as they march in rows of two and filter onto the deck, forming lines. And then, a familiar face, dressed in a pristine red uniform, not a scrap of armor on him, knee-high black boots, medals pinned to his chest, Captain steps onto the deck and glances you both up and down.

JOSHUA: I visually...

RUSSELL (*pompous voice*): Well!

JOSHUA: I visually take...Vano visually takes the...his hand off of his pistol, but only forward, just a smidge, so that he can pull it back up if he needs to.

RUSSELL: The captain waves his hand, and a dozen sailors scurry off of the Nov Romarian ship, and begin to grab crates from the deck and load them onto the vessel.

*tense music begins*

Nov Romarian captain just raises an eyebrow and glances up at Captain Nark, who, from the sterncastle, uh, jolts, and then, starts to scurry down towards him, and then stops and grabs you by the arm and drags you in tow.

JOSHUA: Vano doesn't move until he grabs my arm, and then I come along reluctantly.

RUSSELL: He leads you down the staircase and in between the filings, and now, you stand in a square of twenty-something Nov Romarian Legionnairians, just the three of you. Nark just stands there, shuffling, and...and nudges you.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Welcome aboard, Cap'n.

RUSSELL (*Captain*): Oh, aren't you that...Ah, I see you are. You're a long way from home.

JOSHUA (*IC*): I've not long since had a home. This ship's been my home for the longest time I can remember now.

RUSSELL (*Captain*): I would imagine so. A man of your...

(*OOC*): And he glances you up and down, and then, his eyes lingering for a moment on the tattoo on your face.

(*IC*) Unique disposition, might find the land a little...Inhospitable.

JOSHUA (*IC*): More like a little tiresome.

RUSSELL (*Captain*): Call it whatever you wish. By the way, I have been meaning to ask. Come aboard with me. I have a question or two for you.

(*OOC*) And then, without saying anything else, he turns on his heel and marches off of the pirate vessel onto the Nov Romarian iron deck.

JOSHUA: Vano's gonna turn his head backwards...Look back at...at Narkorna, and just kinda...Shake his head just a little bit. Just, you should not do this.

RUSSELL: Narkorna, uh, just, uh, looks at you for a second, and then waves you along.

(*Narkorna*) Don't...don't keep him waiting.

JOSHUA: I follow the captain.

RUSSELL: As you follow the captain onto the deck of the Nov Romarian ship, you notice Darm and Viddle are nowhere to be found. They have vanished from the deck.

JOSHUA: I take a slightly deeper breath.

(*IC*) Gods, I hope they make it away.

RUSSELL: Your boots, uh, the feeling is foreign. It's too hard, not that you've ever noticed a give to the wooden boards, but the deck of the Nov Romarian ship feels foreign, almost like it sits in the water heavy. And...and the clang of your boots on the deck feel heavy. There's no spring in your step. And they ring hollow.

JOSHUA: Vano is nonetheless...intrigued, being kinda the beast of war that he has been, can't help but admire the strength of the structure that he's on. It may be lifeless and hollow, but there is an undeniable strength to that material, and part of him begrudgingly respects that fact.

RUSSELL: You feel a rumbling beneath your feet, like a shudder, and you hear a grinding. It's continuous and ongoing. To your right, a huge smokestack emerges from the deck, belching forth noxious fumes that make you cough.

JOSHUA (*IC*): (coughs) Is that normal, Cap'n?

RUSSELL (Captain): You'll adjust to it if given the chance, which is what I've been meaning to speak to you about. Right this way.

(*OOC*) And he waves you over. As you walk, following him across the deck towards his cabin, you walk underneath, mounted on the back of the deck, a tremendous scorpion, mounted. It looms over top of your head. On it, fixed, a tremendous shaft, bigger than a spear, big around as your arm, a massive bolt, the end of it knobbed and barbed, and a large chain attached to it, hanging down, swinging, a demonstration of the fearful and horrendous power.

*soft, unsettling music, fireplace crackling*

You step into the office. It is very bare, the furniture is nice, well-carved, but very functional. A large, flat desk stretches in front of you, and behind it, the captain takes a seat.

(*Captain*) By all means, sit.

(*OOC*) He says, gesturing to a stool.

JOSHUA: Vano, seeing...seeing the presence that he's in, and the room that he's in, goes up to the desk, flips the chair around backwards, and sits on it like this.

RUSSELL: The captain leans back in his high-back chair and raises an eyebrow at you.

(*Captain*) Interesting. I have a proposition for you. Nov Romara has been looking for candidates to help them assess more information about certain interests of ours, and we were wondering... Well, we'd like to offer you the opportunity to join us. Not in official military capacity, but an advisory role. We're looking for individuals who can educate some of our special legionnairians on the unique military background, and, well, the general internal going-ons of certain places of interest which you would be familiar.

JOSHUA: A smile goes across Vano's face, but his eyes are dead. His eyes look like a shark's eyes, they've lost all emotion. The smile looks more contorted than anything else.

(*IC*) Why would Nov Romara be interested in that?

RUSSELL (*Captain*): We take an interest in many things, but is not really of your concern what we take an interest in, merely what benefit it can provide you to provide us with the benefit of the information that lives between your ears.

JOSHUA: Leaning back a little bit, Vano stares at the captain for a solid forty-five seconds, not saying anything, just trying to assess him.

(*IC*) And what could you possibly have that would interest me enough to go over that which I ran from?

RUSSELL (*Captain*): Well, for starters, you would have an official capacity, not as a soldier, but as an advisor in the legions of His Eminence, the Great Dragon Emperor, and with that position, you would no longer have to live your life on the run. You would be a protected...not citizen, but, uh, associated...Well, associate, essentially. You'd be a protected associate of the Nov Romarian Empire. You could no longer live your life on the run. You could start a new life. You could even, perhaps, after you retire and serve your new country, start a family. And we are not unfair. We are not like those other countries that force and impress labor, or demand people serve the crown without compensation. Our legionnairians are well-compensated, and you will receive a legionnairian salary.

JOSHUA: When he mentions having a family, Vano visibly winces a little bit, just…

(*IC*) I appreciate the offer.

RUSSELL (*Captain*): Well, there's more to it. Now, typically, someone starting a career as late as you would not qualify. You'd have to start much younger to qualify for a pension, but if you served well, could negotiate a reduced pension for you, y'know, to keep you comfortable in your retirement.

JOSHUA: Vano leans in, gestures over his shoulder at the scorpion. It had been pierced through the barbed harpoon, essentially? And just says,

RUSSELL: Yeah, it's basically a big-ass crossbow that shoots a hole in a boat and make it sink.

JOSHUA: Looks at the captain, says,

(*IC*) No offense, but in my experience, everyone who works for Nov Romara ends up a bit like that scorpion back there. Though they think they've got strength and power for a minute, but then, one way or another, they're run through.

RUSSELL (*Captain*): Well, I assume that's because everyone you know has been on the wrong side of the war, the losing side of the ever war.

(Vano laughs)

The war of glory, the war of glorious expansion, but you could rectify that. You could ensure that you are forever on the right side of history.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Right, right, of course. And you've got the only claim to that, sure.

RUSSELL (*Captain*): Not the only claim, just the only legitimate one.

JOSHUA: Vano goes from laughing at that to just very dead-faced.

(*IC*) No.

RUSSELL (*Captain*): (sighs) Well, I suppose you'll find out sooner or later, so, I'll spell this out for you. Your option is, you stand up from that chair, you walk below deck, you wait in the legionnairians quarters. We'll have someone accompany you and keep an eye. You may hear a commotion above deck, but it doesn't concern you. Or, you can walk off this ship and back onto that dingy little piece of driftwood, and you can join it at the bottom of the ocean.

*suspenseful music*

Am I clear now?

JOSHUA: Vano stands up slowly, not acting quickly, just slowly gets on his feet, looks down the captain, and then pulls his...His hidden blade flies out,

*metallic shing*

and he tries to stab the captain in the face.

RUSSELL: Roll Initiative.

*intense suspenseful music*

JOSHUA: That is a 12.

RUSSELL: 13.

(Joshua laughs)

JOSHUA: I hadn't rolled a three…(laughs) Got a great Initiative!

RUSSELL: Uh, Joshua, roll me a, uh, Sleight of Hand for a surprise round. See how snekkeh you are.

JOSHUA: Much better at that, that is a dirty 20.

RUSSELL: That is a dirty 20. Alright, dirty 20. Surprise round. Roll an attack.

JOSHUA: His...his...His hidden blade pops out, and he's goes to stab the captain right in the eye, simultaneously reaching back to grab his halberd. He knows this is gonna turn into an all-out fight, but he wants to get the jump and maybe, just maybe take out the captain before anyone else notices, and try to get away with the crew.

RUSSELL: Alright, Well, roll an attack.

JOSHUA: (cackles) 24 to hit!

RUSSELL: 24? Well, a lot less would have hit, considering I specified he doesn't have any armor on him, so his AC is absymal.

JOSHUA: Oh, that's true!

RUSSELL: Alright, 24 to hit, roll for damage.

JOSHUA: Okay. This is just my dagger, so you don't get as many fun little doodads. Uh, that is an 8 damage.

RUSSELL: 8 damage.

JOSHUA: I rolled max damage on that one. (laughs)

RUSSELL: Nice. Alright, so, uh, you whip out your hidden dagger, lunge across the table. Thankfully, you have quite long arms and can easily reach and...

*slicing sound, squelching, dripping*

Your blade slides right into his right eye.

JOSHUA: Nice!

*battle music*

As it does, he just jerks for a second, and then...and then slowly, just, slides backward off of your blade, slumps in his chair.

JOSHUA: I think I'll...I think I’ll

RUSSELL: Outside, you hear the clop of legionnairians patrolling the deck.

JOSHUA: Does the captain have a jacket on?

RUSSELL: He does, but it would be much too small for you.

JOSHUA: Damn it, that was gonna be my next question.

RUSSELL: Very...if it's a very nice smart red jacket.

JOSHUA: No, I'm not gonna try to keep it anyways, um... is there a patch on the jacket?

RUSSELL: There is no patches on the jacket, but there are a bunch of medals, and since you're inspecting the jacket, I will tell you that they are made of real bronze, real silver, and some of them, real gold.

JOSHUA: Those medals come with me. Vano reaches down, unpins each of the medals real quick, and just stuffs it in his... just stuffs it in his shirt pocket.

RUSSELL: As you're stuffing medals in your shirt pocket, you hear a knock on the captain's door.

(*official voice*) Excuse me, sir. Sir? Are you alright in there?

JOSHUA (*IC*): He's just finishing up with me. I'll be heading down to the...to the quarters like he asked.  Give me a moment.

RUSSELL (*soldier*): I take my orders from the captain, thank you!

JOSHUA: I'll go over here...

RUSSELL (*soldier*): Sir?

JOSHUA: I'll go over and open the door, like, brusquely into his face, be like,

RUSSELL: Alright.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Aren't you the one that's supposed to-

RUSSELL: Are you rolling to, like, just…

JOSHUA: No, I'm not rolling...I'm not trying to hit him.

RUSSELL: Oh, I thought you were, like, slamming the door into him.

JOSHUA: No, I'm not trying to hit him.

RUSSELL: Okay.

JOSHUA: I'm just trying to, like, use the door to move him away from the door frame as I come out,

RUSSELL: Okay.

JOSHUA: So he's not seeing into it, um, and then, like, as I'm coming out, just, be like,

(*IC*) You're the one that's supposed to take me down to the quarters, right?

*suspenseful music*

RUSSELL (*soldier*): Uh, I...I'm not sure what you're talking about, um...

(*OOC*) And he tries to peer around you.

JOSHUA (*IC*): The captain made me an office...the captain made me an offer. He told me that someone was gonna take me down to the...to the legionnaires quarters. Is that you or not?

RUSSELL (*soldier*): Uh...I suppose so, but, um, let...let me just ask him myself, if you'll...

JOSHUA (*IC*): Well, then, lead the way!

RUSSELL (*soldier*): Excuse me!

(*OOC*) And he tries to shove past you.

(*IC*) I'm-Move off, you smelly oaf!

JOSHUA (*IC*): Fine, it's on your head.

(*OOC*) As I... (chuckles) the glowys begin. They're not full bright red,

RUSSELL: The glowys begin.

JOSHUA: but they start to pinken up. I'm clearly getting a rise out, and I push him a little harder than I meant to, just to, like, push him away from the door to buy me a second, and then start walking towards the exit.

RUSSELL: He staggers back, and says,

(*soldier*) Excuse you! Sir! Stop at once.

JOSHUA (*IC*): If you're not gonna lead me there, I'll go by myself.

RUSSELL: Two...two legionnairians standing on either side of the plank that runs between vessels at a quite drastic downward slant from the larger iron vessel to this...to the decent-sized wooden one. One...one of them steps forward and out.

(*soldier*) Excuse me, where are you going?

JOSHUA (*IC*): Back to my ship.

RUSSELL (*soldier*): I do believe that...I do-You have not! You have been commanded by a legionnairian to stand your ground, and you will stop there at once.

JOSHUA: I push him off...off the...off the plank.

RUSSELL: Alright, roll a Strength check.

JOSHUA: Just...just kinda like, shoulder push him off the plank. I'm not trying to hurt him or anything, just, out of my way. 14?

RUSSELL: 14. You push him, and he budges a little bit, enough that you can, like...You push on his shield, he pushes back pretty strong, but you move him to the side just enough to get around him. But as you do, he reaches out and grabs your shoulder.

JOSHUA: That was all...that was my goal.

RUSSELL (*soldier*): I said, stop! You are under arrest.

JOSHUA: As he grabs me and says that, I'll just lean in, just a little bit, and go,

(*IC*) I think we both know that you guys are about to destroy this ship. The least you can do is let me fight with my friends. We're gonna die anyways! Let me have a little bit of honor.

RUSSELL: He stares at you for a second, holding eye contact, glances down at all of the pirates nervously sweating on the deck of the smaller ship, looks back at you. Roll Persuasion.

*dramatic music*

JOSHUA: Not my strongest attribute. (laughs) See how good I am with this? Ha! Minus 1, 13?

RUSSELL: 13.

(*soldier*) Then die with your companions, like a dog.

(*OOC*) And he shoves you.

JOSHUA: I let him shove me, and take the movement to get back towards the deck. As I...

RUSSELL: As you are halfway across the plank, you hear a shout.

(*soldier*) Treason!

*loud alarm bells ring, people start shouting*

Treason! Treason! The captain's dead!

(*OOC*) And the deck of the Nov Romarian vessel explodes.

JOSHUA: How'd the iron-

RUSSELL: Romarian, like legionarians, start piling out of hatches

*iron clanking*

and doorways right and left, flooding the deck, and, uh, two of them who stand on the deck, like, the last ones remaining who are coming up the deck towards...towards you on the plank, stop, glance confusedly for a second, and then lock eyes with you and level their spears.

*metallic shing*

Roll Initiative.

JOSHUA: Fuuuuck!

RUSSELL: You rolled a 1? Do you have a modifier to that?

JOSHUA: Yeah, plus 9, so 10, but...shit! That’s a great modifier!

RUSSELL: Okay, okay, well, they have a much less modifier, a modifer of 2, and they rolled 2, so, uh, you're good!

JOSHUA: (laughs loudly) No fucking way, I go first on a nat one? (laughs)

RUSSELL: They rolled a 4!

JOSHUA: Oh, god, that's good! (laughs) That is amazing, okay! (laughs) I'm gonna blame it on Vano's tripping on his feet going down.

RUSSELL: On that note...On that note, you have 30 feet of movement. You have 30 feet of movement and 10 feet left on the plank, and you are at a 45 degree angle. So, you have momentum. What are you gonna do?

JOSHUA: Yeah, I'm gonna use that momentum, and as I'm going down, I'm...I pull my halberd out, and I use it like a baseball bat to try to bash the two guys that are at the base of the plank, 'cause they're...they're between me and the ship, right?

RUSSELL: Uh, yes.

JOSHUA: Using it as a baseball bat to kinda bash them out of the way, and as I do so, my...my markings just go bright red.

RUSSELL: Raging?

JOSHUA: Yeah, I'm raging.

RUSSELL: Alright. Uh, roll an attack, unless you want to make it a Strength check if you're trying to knock them off.

JOSHUA: Knocking them off would clear the path for me, also, I kind of want to kill them, because now I'm enraged, and yeah, no, I'm enraged, uh, and I'm just swinging.

RUSSELL: Well, it's a...it's a decent drop to the water, and they're in armor, so, if they fall in, they will drown. Unless someone throws a line to them to haul them out.

JOSHUA: That's a good point. No...

RUSSELL: Usually people in full armor don't float well.

JOSHUA: (laughs) Right, uh...I should have said that before I rolled. I will say that that is my intention. To...to push them off as a Strength check.

RUSSELL: Your intention is you...Okay.

JOSHUA: However, I should probably keep the roll that I already made, which sucks. Uh...(laughs) I get a better modifier with an attack than I do a Strength check is what I'm saying.

RUSSELL: Okay. Okay, so, you want...

JOSHUA: So, I get a 12 for the strength.

RUSSELL: You get a 12 for the strength? Alright.

JOSHUA: Would have been a 14 to hit, but...

RUSSELL: You swing your halberd out, and you clip one of them at the heels, and he stumbles, and, uh, falls to the one side and grabs his companion. His companion, uh, falls to his knees and grabs the deck, but pulls him back, and neither of them fall, but now they are both on their knees.

*suspenseful music*

JOSHUA: Okay, now that they're on their knees, Vano jumps over them to get to the other side.

RUSSELL: Alright, to jump over them, I'm going to make you make an Athletics check, or you could use Acrobatics. I'd say Athletics check to jump over them and then land back on the gangplank, but since you have a 45 degree angle, and they're on their knees, I'll give you Advantage on that roll.

JOSHUA: I will take Advantage on that roll. And it's a good thing that I did. Uh, that is an 18.

RUSSELL: 18, alright. You jump, soaring through the air, arch right over top of their heads. They glance up, startled, as they try to stagger to their feet, and you land back on the iron gangplank with a crash, and the whole thing rattles, forcing them to grab the sides again to keep from tumbling off. You still have I'd say, probably...How much feet of movement do you have?

JOSHUA: Yeah, I...I jumped 5, and I ran 10 feet.

RUSSELL: You've...You've moved about 10 feet, and you jumped...Yeah.

JOSHUA: Right, so I should have 15 left. So, I'll...I'll

RUSSELL: Yeah.

JOSHUA: So, I'll...I'll run the remaining 15 onto the deck.

RUSSELL: Alright, you run onto the deck, and you find yourself standing on the deck of the vessel, and as you set foot on the deck, you hear a hiss whizzing behind you, and...Damn, okay. A arrow flies right over your shoulder, narrowly missing you, and buries into the deck with a thunk.

*bow stretching, arrow whooshing, wooden thunk*

All around the deck, it bursts into motion,

*swords clashing, people shouting*

pirates shouting and scurrying to, uh, stations. Several of them rush forward, grabbing at the, uh, iron gangplank, attempting to pry it loose from the deck. One of them, uh, grabs you.

JOSHUA: I-

RUSSELL (*pirate voice*): Help! Aye, help us, mate.

JOSHUA: I help. As I do so,

RUSSELL: You help?

JOSHUA: As I do so, I'm...I'm shouting out,

(*IC*) Ballista! We're under attack!

(*OOC*) And then I try to help lift the gangplank up.

*arrows firing, hitting people, groaning*

RUSSELL: Make a Strength check.

JOSHUA: (laughs) 23!

*metallic ratcheting*

RUSSELL: 23. Alright. And I...I was going to say you have Advantage, 'cause you have help from the others.

JOSHUA: Okay, I'll see if I get a...I'll see if I get a nat 20 with it.

RUSSELL: 23 will do it.

JOSHUA: I do not! I got two 23s in a row.

RUSSELL: Two 23s will do it, well, you only need one.

*dramatic music*

Yeah, two 23s will do it.

JOSHUA: Vano reaches down, puts his fingers in the deck, (groaning) pulls up...

RUSSELL: With splinters fly into the air, as the hooks from the iron plank rip free, and you narrowly smack yourself in the jaw, the sailor standing next to you is not quite so lucky, and staggers backward, holding his head as it rings, and at that very moment, three legionnairians step onto the plank, and then begin to sway back and forth as the plank is now free, drifting in the air. And I'm gonna make another...14, for an attack. That gonna hit?

JOSHUA: No, 14? No.

RUSSELL: No, okay. Crossbow bolt flies over your other folder...holder. Damn. A crossbow bolt flies over your other shoulder,

*crossbow firing*

embedding itself into the deck once again, and sits there, quivering. On the deck, you see a legionnairian lower his crossbow, and begin to load another bolt,

*metal ratcheting, thunk*

and then next to him, a dozen others run up onto the deck, with crossbows drawn. It's your turn!

JOSHUA: As they do, let me ask a question, here. Is the gangplank secured to the other ship for the iron ship, or is it a loose gangplank?

RUSSELL: Yes. It is secured on the other side, like a hinge.

JOSHUA: So, I can't pull it out, and that side falls down, okay.

RUSSELL: Nope, but it is loose, just kind of like floating. You could push it up or down or to either side.

JOSHUA: Then Vano, while he has it up, is gonna throw it off to the side, just so that it misses the ship and falls down into the ocean.

RUSSELL: Alright, uh, make a Strength check to see how far you can shove it.

JOSHUA: Fair. (laughs) Natural 20! (laughs) It's a 24.

RUSSELL: Natural 20?

JOSHUA: Yeah, it's a natural 20. It's slightly just a teeny bit cocked, but I'm gonna call it.

RUSSELL: Alright, with a great big heave, you swing it far to the side, just as a fairly brave Nov Romarian legionnairian leaps on...onto it and starts to run down. As you shove it to the side, he waves far over, waves back, and then grabs the edge, and then falls off, and is now dangling 30 feet in the air above the water in between the two ships, the, uh, deck far askew. You have separated the two halves.

JOSHUA (*IC*): That'll serve you, you prick!

RUSSELL (*Narkorna*): Raise every sail!

*chain dragging, sailors shouting in coordination*

Raise the anchor, um, get us the hell out of here!

(*OOC*) shouts the captain. You have...movement left. Anything else you want to do with your turn?

JOSHUA: Is the captain still on...I...I do have movement left. Is the captain still on the stern? The sterncastle?

RUSSELL: He's still on the sterncastle.

JOSHUA: I run towards the sterncastle, but right by the stairs. I should have enough movement for that. That should be about 15 foot?

RUSSELL: Yup.

JOSHUA: Um, from there, I shout up and just say,

(*IC*) Cap'n, we've gotta go right now! There's no saving it, they're planning on destroying the ship!

*metal ratcheting*

RUSSELL (*Narkorna*): This ship, she's my life's work! I can't!

(*OOC*) And with that, a resounding tear you...you hear

*loud bang*

a thunk, a roar, a grinding of metal, the rattling of a chain, and the whole deck lurches. Make an agility saving throw...or Dexterity saving throw.

*people shouting*

JOSHUA: 14.

RUSSELL: Acrobatics or Athletics...14? Alright, you are barely able to keep your footing as the deck almost caves in right behind you. You grab the stair...the railing of the stairs that lead up to the higher deck as the deck just crashes in behind you. You glance over your shoulder, and you see a massive iron spike embedded into the lower deck, and then sticking up through this one, uh, boards splintered and cast about, attached to a massive chain.

*tense, dramatic music*

JOSHUA: I use the remainder of my movement to run towards the other side of the ship where the rowboats were...are...that are lashed to the side. That's all I can do in my movement, but I am...Now that that harpoon is in, I know there's no way the ship gets away.

RUSSELL: As you, uh, you can't...you don't get all the way to the rowboats, but you get just to the side of the ship, with just 5 feet away, and as you glance down, you see the barbed end of the harpoon sticking out

*arrows whooshing, thudding*

the other side of the ship, and she's taking in water.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Cap'n, she's done! There's nothing left!

RUSSELL: That's a 15, and a 13 on the attack.

JOSHUA: Miss miss, baby!

RUSSELL: Miss miss. Alright, two more crossbow bolts, uh, fly past you

[crossbows twang]

and then, uh, into the sea. Now it's your turn again.

JOSHUA: There should be another set of stairs on this side of the ship. What's the distance between up the stairs to the captain and where I am?

RUSSELL: The captain's about, I'd say, 20 feet away from you? He's...Knuckles white, lashed himself, or latched, I should say, himself, because lashed is a different thing. He's latched himself onto the big steery wheel thing. Oh, people will correct me...

JOSHUA: The steering wheel?

RUSSELL: The error of my...Yeah, steering wheel. It's not called that, it's called something else, and oh people...

JOSHUA: It's a literal steering wheel.

RUSSELL: Yes, yes. Boat people, educate me in the comments. I'm sure they'll have strong words to say about it.

JOSHUA: They'll have so many different names for it, it'll be crazy. Um...

RUSSELL: Alright, but he's got his hands latched onto this steery thing. Did good, 10 out of 10 description.

JOSHUA: I will...use my knife, jump...or jump up to the side and cut off the lashings that are attaching the...the rowboat to the side of the ship, so that it falls down, and shout out to the captain.

(*IC*) We have to go now, there's no chance! The harpoon's out the other side! Cap'n, Viddle, Darm, we have to go now!

(*OOC*) And try to, like, usher as many people as I can towards the boat.

RUSSELL: Right, everybody's just panicked, running about here and there, though some are, uh, cutting loose or pulling some of the boats that are lashed to the main deck to the sides.

JOSHUA: Let me rephrase. Anyone that comes within five foot of me is getting thrown onto that boat.

RUSSELL: Alright, so, uh...I guess you're grappling a random-ass sailor here.

JOSHUA: Yeah!

RUSSELL: Though, uh...Okay, giving you a lot of Strength checks here.

JOSHUA: Vano knows we're going to die. Any life saved is...is, uh, is a bonus. I'll make you as many Strength saves as you want.

RUSSELL: Alright. Eh, I'll give it to you. Scurrying past, an Edwed Minor. You just pluck them right off out of the ground, and just toss them right into the boat.

*soft, suspenseful music*

JOSHUA: Yep. If they take a little damage on the way down, I'm fine with that.

RUSSELL: And then, that's when you hear another crash, and the roar of fire. Splatters all around you, splashing up next to your heel, hot burning oil flames race up your legs, and you are going to take...

*tragic battle music*

Eh, It's not that bad, 3 burning damage. And you are on fire.

JOSHUA: Which leg?

RUSSELL: Your left leg.

JOSHUA: Vano's gonna carry some left leg scars. Vano is angry, under attack, and on fire.

RUSSELL: Alright, so you just...

JOSHUA: There's no thinking. He just jumps out to sea on that side, uh, landing on the other side of the boat, so that he can try to douse the flames.

RUSSELL: You plunge into the icy salt waters, and then fight your way to the surface. Above you, you hear screaming, crying. You see another figure lunge over the side of the deck, and then splash next to you. Another leaps, trying to fall into the boat, and hits the side of the rowboat, and capsizes it.

JOSHUA: The...the rowboat that I was trying to get people onto?

RUSSELL: Yep. (Joshua groans) they just capsized it. They jumped off of the deck, slammed the rim of the ship, and it swung over, dumping the Edwed Minor also into the sea, and now they are under the boat.

JOSHUA: I wanna see if Vano is actually smart enough to do this.

RUSSELL: Okay.

JOSHUA: He is! Um...Vano sees the capsized boat, knows the ship has no chance, he goes underneath the boat, and holds on to the underside, and uses the air underneath to breathe while staying hidden under the...under the boat.

RUSSELL: Alright, so, are you just gonna start swimming, or are you just hanging out under it?

JOSHUA: I...I'm...I'm, as gently as I can, trying to make...push my way towards wherever I could think land would be, uh, to make my way, you know, away from the wreckage, but I don't want to go...I don't want to go really fast, because if I'm going fast then they'll see, oh, look that upside down boat is tearing through the water! We should probably destroy that. Uh, so, Vano is just kind of gently kicking.

RUSSELL: You feel the boat start to rotate, as if force pulls it in another direction, and then, in the...in the darkness underneath, you hear a...a whimpering and a heavy panting, and a splashing, and you realize the Edwed Minor is next to you, but they are trying to swim in another direction.

JOSHUA: Do I know this person? This...this Edwed's name?

RUSSELL: Eh, actually, roll me...roll me a Perception check to see if you can identify them in the dark.

JOSHUA: No, I...I don't notice a fucking thing. It's a 3.

RUSSELL: Alright. (Joshua laughs) They're alive. They're upset.

JOSHUA: Yeah. I'm alive, I'm breathing,

RUSSELL: So are they.

JOSHUA: Uh, I'll ...I'll...Since I don't know the person's name, I'll just say,

(*IC*) No, you moron, we're going the other way.

RUSSELL (*higher pitched pirate*): But...but...but...that's...that's where the...where the...Um, uh, okay.

(*OOC*) And then, you feel the boat start to turn back, reorient itself, and they are now swimming with you, although not pulling nearly as much weight as you are. You are now moving along in the dark. You swim for a few minutes. You can't tell how far you've gone, but then, you hear a thunk above you, hollow, it reverberates.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Wait here. I know you're exhausted, just take a break for a minute.

(*OOC*) I'm going to look and see what's going on.

RUSSELL (*Minor*): Uh, uh, okay.

JOSHUA: Vano pops his head down. Vano doesn't even wait for the response, he just (takes deep breath) pops his head down, and kind of, just, gently, slowly pokes his head up on the other side, looking around to see what's going on, what they hit.

RUSSELL: As you poke your head up over the wreckage of the old pirate vessel being towed, sinking gradually behind the Nov Romarian vessel, you see a tendril of smoke,

*fire sizzling*

raising, um, coming from the bottom of the upturned rowboat.

JOSHUA: I try to throw some saltwater on it. Get it to put out the flame.

RUSSELL: Alright, you splash up some water, and you hear the flame hiss out, and then, that's when you notice that there is another ship, or boat, really, a little sailboat, right behind you, nearly on top of you, bearing down.

JOSHUA: I pop my head back under. Oh, well, I wave at him first, and pop my head back under, and then just tell the other person in the...in the capsized boat, uh, pop my head back up, and go,

(*IC*) There's another boat coming up, we have to...we have to get out of here, go to the other ship.

RUSSELL (*Minor*): Uh, Okay?

JOSHUA: Duck back down. As I come back up, I'm waving, and...and swimming over to them.

RUSSELL: Uh, as you pop back up, you nearly get run over. It's right on top of you. This ship is moving really fast. It nearly...

JOSHUA: Wow.

RUSSELL: It nearly smacks you in the head, and it's, uh, actually, make me a...an agility saving throw or athletics saving throw.

JOSHUA: Agility?

RUSSELL: Athletics.

JOSHUA: Dex?

RUSSELL: 1? Alright, you pop your head up, you notice the vessel is right there, it's right on top of you, you attempt to swim to the side, and, thunk. It smacks you right in the face, and pushes you underneath the water. And that is going to be...Damn, okay. 4 bludgeoning damage, because you just got run over by a little boat. When you finally fight your way back to the surface, you hear a familiar voice railing on.

(*Darm*) I know, uh, that's...that's why you wear a helmet, eh? I...I know your skull be mighty thick, but not too thick for that, not thicker than a boat, than a old vessel. And climb aboard, you fool, and quit flandering about.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Darm! Darm, is that you?

RUSSELL: You feel an arm grab you by the scruff of the neck and begin to haul you out of the water.

JOSHUA: I comply.

RUSSELL: You comply?

JOSHUA: I'm helping them.

RUSSELL: You grab. As you clamber onto the ship, Darm does most of the work. Just wrenches you up out of the water, and then flops you onto the deck, the ship rocking back and forth. You are on a small sailboat. Um, on either side of you, you see two Edwed Minor. One soaking wet, and the other Viddle, who glances down at you with a...uh, through their monocle, and raises an eyebrow.

*boat clunking, waves lapping*

(*Darm*) Why, you be looking a little worse for wear.

JOSHUA (*IC*): How did you and Viddle get off?

RUSSELL (*Darm*): Uh, well, we, uh, appropriated, uh, this here, uh, we're pirates. Uh, we we fucking stole this thing, obviously.

JOSHUA (*IC*): (chuckles) Oh, but I'm glad you did.

RUSSELL (*Darm*): Well, it didn't seem anybody else was needing it.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Did anyone else make it off?

RUSSELL (*Darm*): I mean, other than the poor sods who were out over there drowning, actually. Uh, now that I think about if they probably do need it-

JOSHUA (*IC*): Has anyone else made it off?

RUSSELL (*Darm*): Um, I mean, most people made it off, I wouldn't say that that was for the best for them. You know, drowning and all.

JOSHUA: Vano just kind of collapses back down to the deck, and (clap) dunks his head on the deck.

(*IC*) Oh, we tried to warn him, Darm. They were planning it from the get. They were always gonna betray us. I knew that! I didn't think it was gonna be so brazen.

RUSSELL (*Darm*): Well, uh...we best be going. It looks like, uh, they're right on our heels.

(*OOC*) And he points, and you see...

JOSHUA (IC): Go, go! Don't wait on my account!

RUSSELL: You see, hauling through the water, a long rowboat with about twenty legionnairians, just hauling at the oars,

*distant chants of "Row!"*

just plowing through the water towards you, and an arrow arches

*arrow being shot, whooshing*

through the air and plunks into the water.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Don't wait on my account, let's get out of here.

RUSSELL (*Darm*): Let's go, uh, grab an oar, uh...

(*OOC*) Fumbles about, and then hands you one.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Aye!

RUSSELL (*Darm*): Row, matey, row!

JOSHUA: I pop up and just start.

RUSSELL: Alright, uh, make me a Strength check.

JOSHUA: Start pumping. Not great.

RUSSELL: Not great?

JOSHUA: Uh...No, Vano is exhausted, having just hit his head, maybe he's a little off kilter. He hasn't fully come to himself yet. Um, and with an 8, I assume he isn't pulling as much weight as he should be.

RUSSELL: Alright, the Nov Romarian longship, I guess it's called, I don't know if they call it a longship, Nov Romarian, uh, rowboat, uh, begins to bear down on you, gaining ground,

*arrows whooshing, thunking*

and three more arrows arc through the air. Damn, their roles are shit. Uh, there's one 17, rest are sad.

JOSHUA: Hey, 17 hits.

RUSSELL: 17 hits. Alright, uh...How much is that...

JOSHUA: Got a good AC, but I can't beat that without armor or shield.

RUSSELL: Alright, several arrows

JOSHUA: Actually, armor would fuck me up.

RUSSELL: whiz through the air.

*arrows land in wood*

One of them burying into the deck, one flies over your head, and a third, uh, lodges in your forearm, just...(makes whooshing sound)

*squelching*

and you take 5 piercing damage.

JOSHUA: (groans) And if that's their turn...

RUSSELL: Nope, it's your turn now. I gotcha.

JOSHUA: Do I have a clear line of sight?

RUSSELL: You have a clear line of sight, yes.

JOSHUA: Do I have a clear line of sight?

RUSSELL: Yes.

JOSHUA: What's the difference between...the distance between us and the...the rowboat?

RUSSELL: Between the Romarians and you?

JOSHUA: Yep.

RUSSELL: I would say about 70 feet.

JOSHUA: 70 feet?

RUSSELL: 70 feet.

JOSHUA: Okay. Yeah, uh, I will take a Disadvantage attack on them with the pistol, and then keep rowing.

RUSSELL: Alright, roll an attack. Are you targeting anyone specific? It looks like there's a bunch of them rowing, and then there are four archers, also.

JOSHUA: I am happy with anyone I take out.

RUSSELL: Alright.

JOSHUA: I'm just shooting at the people on the ship as a mass.

RUSSELL: Alright, fire away.

JOSHUA: With Disadvantage...Fuck, it's a 10.

RUSSELL: Alright, your shot whizzes overhead,

*gunshot*

and that seems to invigorate, or maybe infuriate them even more, as you hear a string of curses that you don't quite recognize, but are, you know, curse-wordy enough that you know what they are. And then four more arrows whisk. This time, they're all aiming for you.

JOSHUA: Fair.

RUSSELL: Oh, shoot.

*bows creak*

That's a natural 20.

*arrows fire*

JOSHUA: Oh, okay! Vano dies at the prequel!

RUSSELL: 17? (Joshua laughs) Aw, fuck, that's a 19.

JOSHUA: Fuck!

RUSSELL: And that's a 15.

JOSHUA: So, three hit, one of them is a crit, shit.

RUSSELL: Alright, well, the first one, uh, is only gonna do...

JOSHUA: the first one was your crit.

RUSSELL: Yeah, I'm not rolling...I'm not rolling for the crit yet. A 19's gonna do...

JOSHUA: What?

RUSSELL: Uh, 3 damage. Uh, 3 for the first one, 2 for the second, and I'm rolling for the crit now.

JOSHUA: Okay. 2 and 3 damage, okay.

RUSSELL: 6.

JOSHUA: 6?

RUSSELL: Alright, well, you skated by.

JOSHUA: Fucking barely! My ass has 16 hit points.

RUSSELL: Viddle tugs at your shoulder and gestures to the center of the...the ship, where there is a tarp strewn over a weird enigmous shape.

(*nasally, vaguely French*) Come on now, come on now, help me with this, grab it. Come on, come on. Pick it up! Pick it up!

JOSHUA: Vano complies immediately, arrow sticking through his forearm.

RUSSELL: You...Alright, uh, you hoist the package. Pain shoots through your arm as you pick it up, and you stagger to the back of the ship as the ship rocks back and forth with the movement, and then you are able to slap it on the back of the ship, as the Nov Romarian vessel, small boat, bears down on you, only 40 feet away. More arrows whisk through the air. This time, they're aiming willy-nilly. Damn, okay they're rolling shit again, but one of them rolled really well. Uh, an arrow arches through the air, and...Damn, okay the Edwed Minor who had scurried out of the water with you, that you had rescued, uh, is pulling at an oar, and then an arrow arches out of the air and (fleshy thunk)

*bows creaking*

right through the neck.

*arrows whooshing*

and they just slump over the ship, dead.

*arrows hitting, groans*

JOSHUA (*IC*): (screams in anger) I thought I could save at least one!

RUSSELL: Viddle rips back the tarp...Viddle rips back the tarp out of the package, uh, shoving a rope into your hand, and says,

(*Viddle*) Let's sit down quickly, come on, we gotta go!

(*OOC*) In front of you lies, tied together in a big weird enigmous heap, a huge lump of fireworks.

JOSHUA: Vano takes one...one millisecond to just look at them.

(*IC*) Hm!

(*OOC*) And then grabs them, and just starts helping to light them, or if not light, then point them at least towards the Nov Romarans.

RUSSELL: Hm. As you point that...Try to pick some up and point them toward Nov Romarians, uh, Viddle pushes your hands away, and says,

(*Viddle*) No no, no no, you turned it! Lash it down, lash it down, help me, take the rope! Come on, wrap it around. Go, quickly!

JOSHUA (*IC*): Alright, fine!

(*OOC*) I work on lashing it down as he said. None of my ideas have worked great, so fine.

RUSSELL: Both lash down...you both lash down the mass of fireworks to the back of the ship as the vessel bears down even closer.  It's a mere 20 feet away. Arrows whisk through the air again.

*exciting jaunty music*

Two of them miss, but one of them buries into the back. One of them buries into the back of Darm, who gives a grunt, but continues to keep row, and the other one glances off Viddle's cheek, and a little bit of black blood begins to trickle down it. Viddle snorts, adjusts their monocle, and then pulls the last lashing tight, and then turns to you.

(*Viddle*) Do you have a light or shall I do the honors?

JOSHUA: How long is the fuse?

RUSSELL: Pretty short.

JOSHUA: Let me explain what I want to do. I...I want to put that fuse right on the tip of my gun or right on the...on the hammer of the gun, so that I can aim the...the gun, fire, and as it fires, it lights the fuse.

RUSSELL: Uh, alright. Give it a go.

JOSHUA: And I'm aiming the bullet at the Nov Romarans.

RUSSELL: Alright. As you lift up your gun and aim it at the vessel, you see the archers drawing their bows to fire again, and one of them looks directly at you, and levels it. Roll your attack.

JOSHUA: That guy, that guy. (cackles) Yes! Happens when it counts. Okay, that is a 24.

RUSSELL: Woo! Alright, roll for damage.

JOSHUA: Yes! Okay, only...uh, 8 damage.

RUSSELL: 8 damage?

JOSHUA: Yeah.

RUSSELL: Alright, you level your pistol, making eye contact with this Nov Romaran legionnairian as they draw back their bow, you fire,

*gunshot*

and it glances off their shoulder, taking a chip of their armor, and you hear a yelp, and they skew their bow up into the air and then fire...at nothing.

JOSHUA: And hopefully that lights the fireworks.

RUSSELL: Uh, I'm gonna roll to see if that happens. 19!

JOSHUA: Gunpowder is incredibly flannable...flammable, wow, words.

RUSSELL: Alright, it's...the sparks arc off of your gun, catching fire to the fuse, and it begins to hiss. Viddle tugs on your elbow again and leans forward.

(*Viddle*) This is the part where we cover our ears and hold tight.

JOSHUA: I crouch down.

RUSSELL: And with that, you hear...

JOSHUA: Just, I'm...having no idea what's happening, I crouch down, and just go...

RUSSELL: Just...as you crouch down, and your hands cover your ears, you hear a deafening shriek,

*fireworks*

a wail, a popping, a cracking, a hissing, and the whole ship begins to rumble and shake, and lurches forward. The ship barrels forward, pushing through the water, sparks flying, pieces of fireworks, um, break free from the mass, whizzing through the air. One of them flies up into the air and explodes, another arcs back towards the Nov Romarian vessel, and some of them jump off of the ship, like, shouting as it lands in the middle, spurting fire. And, at that moment, several break free on the one side, and shoot off, and then the ship begins to turn, and as it lurches forward through the water, it makes a sharp left turn, and you instantly have a sinking feeling that it is now going to go in circles.

JOSHUA: Our ship is gonna to go...our boat is gonna go in circles?

RUSSELL: Yep.

JOSHUA: Shit.

(*IC*) Quick, Viddle, is there anything we can do to settle and straighten it out?

*tense music*

RUSSELL (*Viddle*): Ugh, it puts the oars in the water, and creates what we call, um, drag, yes.

JOSHUA: I...as soon as he said puts the oars.

RUSSELL (*Viddle*): Oh, quick now, hurry, hurry!

JOSHUA: As soon as he said the word oars...

RUSSELL (*Viddle*): it puts the oars in the water,

JOSHUA: I'm grabbing an oar, I'm sticking it in the water...

RUSSELL (*Viddle*): It puts the oars in the water.

RUSSELL: You...you grab the oars, and you shove them in the water?

JOSHUA: Yep, as soon as he said the word oars.

RUSSELL: Alright, you create drag.

JOSHUA: I'm grabbing it, and shoving it in the water.

RUSSELL: Alright, you grab the oar, shove it into the water, and the vessel begins to veer even harder to the left. Creating drag on the wrong side.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Oh, shit, sorry.

(*OOC*) Flip it to the other side.

RUSSELL (*Viddle*): I'll forgive you for that, only because my wonderful contraption did not operate completely according to a maximum utility.

(*OOC*) Says Darm, also dragging an oar on the other side.

JOSHUA (*IC*): My god, how do you still have so many word…My gods, how do you still talk so much?

RUSSELL (*Viddle*): I'm sorry, I am just-I can talk and hold an oar at the same time!

JOSHUA (*IC*): That's one of you!

RUSSELL: As you both banter back and forth the ship begins to orient itself, straightening out, and plow through the water, and as it does, it slows. As you glance over your shoulder, you notice you've made quite a bit of distance between you and the Nov Romarian vessel.

(*Viddle*) Quickly, to my next great contraption to get us out of here!

(*OOC*) He hands you a lead line. Uh,

(*IC*) Pull this, and we will...and we will, Um...ah, I don't know what the word for is it in your language. Um, we'll call it a deploy gigasail! Pull the rope. Pull the rope.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Okay, I don't know what you said, but I'm gonna do it.

(*OOC*) Pull the rope.

RUSSELL: As you pull on the rope, Viddle jumps up, pointing forward dramatically, and shouts,

(*Viddle*) Deploy Gigasail!

(*OOC*) And as you pull on it, a pole folds upward from on the top of the mast on a hinge, a second, smaller sail attached to it,

*chain running*

and it catches the wind, and the ship begins to pick up a little bit of extra speed, and then it flops back down again, and the vessel slows.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Viddle, when you lit my ass on fire a month ago playing with your contraptions...It was a pain in the ass. Now, you're gonna get us killed.

RUSSELL (*Viddle*): Oh, you're saying that it was a pain in your ass when I lit your ass on fire? Ah, I understand what you did there, but, uh, uh, please, um, they are catching us now, so, uh, pull, on the, um, rope again this time, and, uh, please, um, uh, uh, hold it. Um, yes pull and, uh, hold it.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Fine.

(*OOC*) I hold it down.

RUSSELL (*Viddle*): Deploy gigasail!

(*OOC*) And this small...smaller sail folds up again, catches the wind, and you begin to make distance. As you begin to pick up speed, the Nov Romarian ship falls further and further behind you, until, at last, you take a turn around the curve of a peninsula, and they fade from view. Uh, Darm turns (grunts) and pulls the arrow out of his shoulder, and then, uh, leans over to Viddle and whispers,

(*Darm*) Aye, you lit him on fire?

(*Viddle*) Oh, yes.

(*Darm*) Um, was that on purpose?

(*OOC*) Viddle glances at you.

(*Viddle*) I am going to say, on account of the fact that I am isolated on a small boat out in the middle of the ocean...no.

JOSHUA (*skeptically*): Mm-hm.

RUSSELL: And then, he leans in a little closer.

(*Viddle*) But yes, definitely.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Yeah, I knew it, you little tramp.

*jaunty music*

RUSSELL (*Viddle*) I did nothing!

(*OOC*) He said, scampering towards the, uh, towards the mast in an attempt to scurry up it

JOSHUA (*IC*): If you didn't just save my hide, I'd have absolutely skinned you.

RUSSELL (*Viddle*) It looks like, um, my gigasails...our fastenings are coming loose, I need to, um, check something up here.

JOSHUA (*IC*): Sure, whenever we need to get out of something, this has gone wrong, my project has a problem. Go figure.

RUSSELL: As the two of you shout back and forth, Viddle, from on top of the mast, down at you, you, from on deck, Darm chuckles, and you sail away, the sounds of your shouting and bantering echoing off of the water. Behind, smoke rises. Thank you very much for tuning in to Vano's debut episode, where you get acquainted with a D&D player with a Scottish accent that is not a dwarf, but they are barbarian. Thank you very much for tuning in, make sure you check out in the playlist on our YouTube channel all of the other debut oneshots to get acquainted with all of the members of our cast for Spawn of Chaos's first show, The Heralds of Wayinar, and make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel and hit that bell, so you can be notified when we go live with our first two episodes on August 6th, or check us out on our Twitch, where also August 6th, 5pm Pacific Daylight Time, we will be premiering the first two episodes back-to-back live, and the third episode the day after, and then every Friday after that. And remember, chaos awaits you (*whispers*) in the dark.

*jaunty music*