Alderwen

Dwendallan (Brother, NPC)

## Application Sheet

Alderwen was a reddish-brown male wolf with dark teal eyes. Born in the traveling band of Mhorians before they arrived in the Domain, he served as a Theta Paladin in Mhor under Archqueen Rowena. He and Maeve had four pups together in the midst of the Hive Wars: Oisin, Eamon, Haethowen, and Bazylwen. His story is ongoing. Alderwen was created and RP'd by panderingpangolins.

## Personality

* ***Compassionate, Courageous, and Hardworking.*** Being raised with Mhorian ideals, Alderwen has a deep sense of compassion for those around him. Seeing anyone in pain or need spurs him into immediate action. His single most drive in life is to help others, be it by healing or protecting them. Despite not being the best fighter, Alderwen will fling himself into battle without a second thought if someone was in danger. However, his courage can quickly turn into impulsiveness and can lead Alderwen into becoming completely self-sacrificing if someone is not around to ground him and, unfortunately, he can be stubborn when he is blocked from aiding someone in need. He will not rest until he knows everyone is alive and well. This intense drive makes him incredibly useful when he is able to properly direct his energy into something positive.
* ***Independent, Aloof, and Anxious**.* Though his father tried to instill in him a strong sense of togetherness and connectivity, Alderwen has always been independent. As a child he had a lot of difficulty forming bonds with his bandmates, mostly due to the fact that with every passing day they would lose more and more of their own. The pain of loss can overwhelm him easily and so he’s developed a coping mechanism called "not-getting-attached" and will quickly withdraw into himself when stressed. This, along with his taciturn nature, has left Alderwen with a rather blunt and aloof attitude. He also has an incredibly anxious mind that doesn’t stop running, and he will often get carried away with his thoughts. The same drive that motivates him to save others can cripple him entirely if he fixates on his past failures.
* ***Sarcastic, Loyal, Vindictive.*** Despite his moodiness, with the right amount of social interaction Alderwen is able to return to a more stable headspace. Even though he’d prefer to be alone, he always feels much more like himself when he is around his packmates. He enjoys sarcasm and a quick wit. Once he’s in the mood he can be a fun wolf. It’s just getting him there that’s the problem. And in the end, there isn’t anything Alderwen wouldn’t do for his family and friends. He devoted his life to protecting them and his loyalty is unshakable. Because of this, he doesn't take well to being betrayed. He is known to hold grudges despite his best attempts to get rid of them. Most of the time the grudges are directed at himself, to which he is far less forgiving. However, when someone truly wrongs him or his pack Alderwen will find his mind obsessed with thoughts of seeking revenge and justice.

## Pre-Group History

Alderwen was born to the Mhorian pair Fen and Ochre on the night of the new moon, the first and only surviving pup of the litter. His father Fen took his sole survival and the moon phase to mean only one thing: Alderwen was disconnected from the Otherworld. Months prior to his son’s birth, the last Archqueen, Aewen, had returned to Mhor as the young Rowena, a great and powerful sign in Fen’s eyes. But perhaps this was nature’s way of balancing itself. Aewen’s spirit had come back and left Alderwen without one. As a remedy, since the day the pup opened his eyes and ears Fen would teach him of Mhorian lore and traditions. Being an educated wolf, Fen was determined to find the balance within his son through knowledge. And Alderwen learned. As their small band traveled, Alderwen was taught all of Mhor’s known history. He was a good student, always respectful and quiet. He meditated every night until, finally, he experienced his first vision. Fen was very proud of his accomplishment. Nature was balanced once more, new moons and stillborns be damned.

As the band traveled, Fen continued Alderwen’s lessons. He brought his son up learning all the different healing herbs of the regions they passed. Their family was small and vulnerable, but medicine would always save their lives. And Alderwen believed this. However, more and more he began to see the world through a different lens. Pain and suffering were abundant on their travels. Watching his father heal the sick and wounded only served to frighten him. There were so many lives at stake, so many lives that couldn’t be mended. His mother tried to comfort him, explaining that those who passed would soon be back young and healthy again, but Alderwen was still deeply shaken. Perhaps the Otherworld wasn’t as balanced as everyone seemed to believe. Or maybe something in his soul was still missing.

His little brother Dwendallan was born the following spring. Watching his brother grow from such a tiny defenseless pup into a bundle of endless energy spurred Alderwen back into action. Life was wonderful; it was not only filled with sorrow, but with beauty and joy. The brothers ventured out, exploring and experiencing all sorts of new things. They never left each others’ sides. Dallan helped Alderwen get over his shyness with the other wolves and for the first time in his life, Alderwen felt happy. No one had died in the recent months. These wolves would continue to be a part of his life. As his bonds grew, Alderwen developed a strong sense of protectiveness for his pack and he found himself longing for fights. Herbs couldn’t protect anyone from a bear attack but his own fangs and strength could. He could do something. He could protect everyone he loved. But his father disapproved of Alderwen’s newfound aspiration. Fighting threw nature off balance, whereas healing brought back the stability, Fen explained. Alderwen argued that protecting those from being injured in the first place would prevent the need to heal, thus keeping nature in equilibrium to begin with. The argument spiraled until Fen forbade his son from ever fighting again.

Winter brought one particularly rough illness that ravaged the traveling band. Constantly being around those in pain and being powerless to help once again wore down Alderwen’s outlook on life. He began to look at his packmates, whom he just started to care for, as bodies of flesh and bone, devoid of uniqueness and personality. So many had already died and more would join them. If the dead really did reincarnate, then what was the point of mourning them? But he couldn’t help the deep-seated grief from gripping his heart. He hardly interacted with anyone aside from Dallan. No one could make him as happy as his brother could. But there were days when even Dallan couldn’t lift him up. And then their mother passed from the disease. As their numbers continued to plummet, the Archqueen blamed herself for the losses but Alderwen couldn’t help but blame himself. He was a supposed healer. Why couldn’t he save them? His disconnect from the band only grew more and more.

Months went by. Winter thawed and spring began anew. Dallan helped Alderwen come out of his depression once again. He rekindled his friendships. He would protect them next time. There wasn’t any need to distance himself from them. Because he would protect them.

Life remained the same for the brothers, until the full moon of summer hit. Everyone was supposed to be keeping their vigils. But the stench of blood roused Alderwen from his trance. In the chaos and confusion he saw Alchalar and Renwythe locked in a vicious battle by Rowena. Alderwen sprang into action, ready to defend the Archqueen. His instinct to fight overwhelmed his senses and it wasn’t until the traitors fled and his adrenaline settled that Alderwen saw what had happened. The still body of his father was just a few paces away, his blood soaking the earth. And just besides him, curled up in terror, was Dallan. Alderwen raced over, his mind filled only with thoughts on how to save his brother. But the wound was too deep and Dallan had lost far too much blood. Alderwen wept and comforted his baby brother as the young wolf passed onto the Summerlands.

Numb, Alderwen stayed with the two bodies until the land of the living called back to him. The band was leaving. There wasn’t anything for them here. Certainly not anymore. Alchalar had claimed death awaited them if they continued their travels, but he was wrong. Death was already Mhor’s plague. It had claimed nearly all of them, including Alderwen himself. He was not alive. He couldn’t be, not without Dallan. Half his soul with trapped in the Otherworld with his brother. But somehow he found himself moving, his body as heavy as he remembered it, his feet as sure as they’ve always been. He followed after the wolves who had been a part of his family since he was born. He didn’t look back.

Time became nothing but a blur. Suddenly and without warning summer turned into winter again. The numbness in his heart never left. Alderwen barely slept. He barely dreamed, for when he did his father greeted him with hollow, disapproving eyes. Why hadn’t Alderwen healed them? Why had he insisted on fighting instead? If only his first instinct was to heal, rather than harm. Fen haunted him at every turn and the darkness tormented Alderwen. The only thing that kept his feet moving, that kept the darkness at bay for long enough, was Rowena. She was the Archqueen yes, and had a lifetime of past experience, but she was barely older than himself. She had lost her entire family as well. And yet she had the strength to press forward. She didn’t shrivel up and beg for death. Her fierce determination sparked something in Alderwen. He made a private oath, based on the old traditions he learned about, as he watched her work tirelessly to lead their packmates to safety: he would devote his life to her and the future of Mhor. His elders followed her because she was the reincarnated Aewen, but Alderwen decided to follow her because she was Rowena, compassionate and courageous. As their journey to the north came to an end, Alderwen began to set his mind not on the past, but to the future. He would do better this time. Death or not, this was the path he had chosen and he would not abandon his family.

## Group History

Alderwen was wary whenever strangers approached the band of Mhorians, so it was no surprise when he confronted Serren while alone one day. Serren kept their cool, and when other wolves threatened the two of them, they stood not as adversaries, but allies. Alderwen would consider Serren an ally thenceforth!

He found it difficult to feel at home when the band of Mhorians settled in their new territory. All he'd ever known was the traveling, wandering as part of the band - and having a new, solid, defined home was...strange. Still, he found comfort in being around his packmates and friends, some of whom, like Reiwen and Giuseppe, were childhood friends of his.

To start making Mhor's territory feel more like home, Archqueen Rowena sent out exploratory patrols in order to gain familiarity with landmarks. Alderwen was part of a patrol, alongside Serren, Myrrine, and Wenlock. They were terrified when they saw what they originally perceived as a waterfall made of fire, cursed by the spirits but they quickly realized it was, in fact, just a trick of the sunset's light - and determined that whatever spirit was attached to the falls was pleased by their arrival.

On the night of Mhor's Consecution, Alderwen took some time to reflect. Although much had been lost on the journey - Dallan, primarily - he realized that his pack, his *family*, were here for him. And that helped soothe some of the pain in his heart. He would do them *proud.* But he couldn't stop the tears from flowing as he vowed his loyalty to Mhor, and took on the task of Paladin.

He spent a lot of time with Aislin. The two shared their difficulties, confiding in one another about those they lost, the fears they had moving forward, and offered support to each other. After the Consecution, Aislin had been shaken, and he was there to comfort her. Alderwen was also friendly with Matthias, and the two enjoyed some leisurely play together, as well as fellow Paladin Wenlock.

The cold of winter made navigating the new territory troublesome, and Alderwen slipped and needed some aid. He didn't want to get it from Solune, but she was the only wolf available, and the interaction actually went fairly positively! The cold also made it hard to find prey - this was the coldest winter any wolf had ever seen! This Deep Freeze meant that the Mhorians had to go far to find prey, and all wolves participated. Alderwen was with Solune and Deborah when they came across a wounded, starving Mason, who they brought back to Mhor to rest and recover.

Around this time, Alderwen had his first vision, being swept into a memory of a conversation between two wolves he didn't know, about a wolf named...Catriona? The vision shocked him, and Alderwen woke up feeling sick and confused. He discussed his vision with Faolan, and the two talked about what they could mean, about reincarnation and their struggles before Faolan teased him about having a crush on the Archqueen (he didn't - he was just a compassionate wolf!). They greatly benefitted from each other's company.

Alderwen was approached by Rowena to give lessons in battle techniques, and he was all too happy to oblige. The two worked well together! He gave lessons to Cahal as well, worrying about her being alone collecting herbs. She didn't want to learn offensive techniques, but evasive action - balance and speed - might work. He offered to teach her alongside Rowena, and she said she'd consider it.

After the troubling appearance of strange, hostile white wolves in the area, several Mhorians were asked to go on an expedition - Alderwen was among the first to volunteer, and was chosen along with Faolan, Talni, Theia, and Cahal - a loner the pack had grown familiar with, Macgyver, would guide them. Matthias was downcast about the decision to send Alderwen over him, and Alderwen tried to assure his friend it wasn't about their abilities, or one being better than the other, and he hoped Matthias would feel better about the situation with time.

He also checked in with Solune, in order to get a cut tended to before he set off, but Solune dismissed him, saying the cut would be fine. He criticized her for not living up to her Oath before storming off to find another healer, stunning Solune.

The patrol went differently than expected. Alderwen was injured, slowing their journey, but he made it back to Mhor in the end. They encountered Riverfell, first, and later Aryn, where it was a bit tense at first, but the wolves managed to explain the situation to the Arynians. Leviathan, Ori Chime, Lawson, and Phanuel allowed them to continue on their journey, sharing information about the white wolves. On this journey, Alderwen and Faolan had grown very, very close to one another.

The patrol returned home. Alderwen went to Myrrine as his skin started itching with the warmer weather, and he started to shed terribly. He recovered from his own injuries, too, and things continued on, everyone a bit on edge about the Hive wolves around the area.

When he got back, he learned that Matthias had been injured, and blamed himself for not being there to protect his friend. However, Matthias would recover, too. Alderwen just wished his packmates and friends would remain safe - he'd do *anything* to protect them. He tried to check in on Matthias and Aislin at the same time, but learned that Aislin and Matthias had an unpleasant encounter.

Alderwen was outraged by this - how *dare* Matthias attack such a gentle packmate? He'd have to get to the bottom of this.

Alderwen was one of the first to express concern when Rowena set off on a meditation pilgrimage, and was gone longer than expected. He, Cahal, and Faolan went to find her, and bring her home.

One of Alderwen's packmates, Maeve, approached, uncertain of which task to take. She asked him to tell her a bit about what it meant to be a Paladin, and Alderwen was all too willing to oblige! He and Serren also engaged in sparring in order to strengthen their skills.

The Hive encroached further into Mhor's lands, and Alderwen watched from a distance, disgusted by the creatures. He often accompanied his packmates when they needed to go out into the territory, so they wouldn't be alone. One night, Aislin approached him and asked if he'd go with her to place a spirit votive in the woods. Alderwen obliged and went with her, sharing a moment of affection with her, but the pair (and Aislin's familiar Kiel) discovered the mutilated corpse of a loner, and a Hive wolf. The wolf attacked, but Alderwen leapt to defend Aislin. The duo sustained serious injury, but both survived the attack, with Aislin killing the beast.

They went back to Mhor to report the incident, and get their wounds treated. They stayed in the healers' den together, and although Alderwen wanted to focus on Faolan (who had visited the duo loyally during their recovery), all he could think of was Aislin, and how much she meant to him. The pair held one another close, and admitted, without words, that they loved one another.

Faolan saw it. The caressing, the loving gazes, the closeness between her sister and her dear Alderwen.

When he had recovered enough to leave the Clerics' care, he sought Faolan out, not knowing that she'd seen *everything.* She snapped at him, cursing him for her lying to her, *cheating* on her, with her *sister!* She demanded to know if he loved Aislin, and Alderwen, unwilling to lie, said he did. But he loved Faolan, too! He tried to apologize, to assure her that she was a better wolf than he was, that *he* was the one who'd messed up. She agreed, and told him she never wanted to deal with him again - in this life or the next.

He went to Aislin, to try and apologize to her, but she was equally upset - Faolan wanted nothing to do with *her* either, and she hated herself for falling for Alderwen when he was with *her sister.* Alderwen continued self-deprecating, and Aislin cursed him for spinning the lies she fell for, and ruining the best thing in her life: her relationship with Faolan.

Alderwen took comfort in Matthias's presence. He hadn't spoken to Matthias since learning he'd hurt Aislin, but Matthias tried to explain the situation. Alderwen apologized for jumping to conclusions and not sorting things out with his friend sooner, and the two reflected on the recent losses - Akasha's death, Faolan and Aislin's hatred towards Alderwen, the problems weighing on Matthias's mind. The two shared a bond with one another - brothers in all but blood, and Alderwen vowed to stand by Matthias's side, no matter what.

Solune would approach Alderwen in his self-loathing, too. She told him about her relationship with her sister Twyla - drawing connections between her own awful love triangle and the mess Alderwen had made. Alderwen begged her for answers, but Solune had none, only informing him that the *reason* she was so full of hate - like he'd asked her, moons ago, what had made her *like this* - it was the transgressions of her betrothed. The *Alderwen* of her story. Alderwen was mortified by what he'd done, but there was nothing more to be said. He thanked her, regardless, for sharing, and returned to his silent mourning. Cahal told him that he should go reflect in the Menagerie, and decide whether he could still uphold his oath as a Paladin. He considered this, and sought advice from another wise wolf: Babylon.

Alderwen wouldn't be left to mope in the camp forever though - duties were to be done. He was sent with Twyla and Wenlock to Riverfell, to extend an invitation to Lady Shiloh of a meeting of the alphas that had been organized. He went along, sullenly, though Maeve had wished him a kind farewell before he departed.

On his return, though, Alderwen fell back into his dark thoughts. He contemplated ending his life, so torn by grief and anger at himself over his terrible decisions...but then Maeve came to him. She offered him comfort and reassurance that he was more than his mistakes. The two spent the night in the same den, Maeve's closeness bringing great comfort to Alderwen in his tumultuous thoughts.

Shortly thereafter, the pair were traveling with Theia when they encountered a pair of loners who had been attacked by the Hive - Nanuk and Aiden. They helped escort the pair to Mhor. And, in the silence of a night after that, Alderwen and Maeve gave into their most selfish desires - spending the night together before the pack would go to war with the Hive. The next day, the pack was attacked in the Menagerie, caught off-guard and fighting for their lives. Alderwen, and everyone else, survived, but not without injury.

This action caused great strain on their relationship, though. Alderwen felt terrible about what he had done, avoiding Maeve as much as he could.

MORE TBA THIS BOY

## Trivia

* He was named after the red of alder bark.
* Storms fascinate him. The sheer power and chaos they create remind him that sometimes nature doesn’t have to be perfectly balanced, and that life doesn’t have to be fair.
* He enjoys making little drawings in the mud, a pastime that reminds him of Dallan.

## Quotes

* "I forget that…that sometimes crying isn’t something to be ashamed of. That my sadness and pain honors my family, in a strange way. If we didn’t feel such agony over their deaths, it would be as though we didn’t love them. But we did. We loved them with our whole souls, didn’t we?” (to Aislin, *Old Friends Catch Up*)

## External Links

* Official Application Sheet
* panderingpangolins's deviantART Gallery