Blood is thicker than water ( EB part 2 )

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Blood is thicker than water ( EB part 2 )

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The Fox

The Fox

@disqus\_eqavLvmRDA a year ago

There ain't nothing to say at the moment, I'm just a touch tired due to a nightmare @w@;;

Let us continue onwards!

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The Fox • a year ago • edited

( Here we are! )

Jekyll1886:

Lewis caught himself laughing at that.

"I'll ask, then, shall I?"

He translated Utterson's questions just as he'd spoken them...until he got to that last one.

"[And...I'm not certain how best to phrase this,]" Weir asked carefully,

"[nor whether it's my place to, but...Gabriel has admitted to me some curiosity

over whether there may be little Desiraes or Richards running about in future.]"

Desirae nodded to each question except the last. She gave an odd look to the duo, confused by the inquiry, but answered anyways.

" [ Well, for the first question, no I can't. Unfortunately I have my own shit hole to look after and staying here won't do me any real good there. I would if I could though.

For your second question, perhaps. I may know where he has some of it. We can do a search when I'm here next time.

And your third question, ] " She chuckled softly. " [ No. You won't have to swaddle anymore babies yet. Me and Richard keep it safe so unless a miracle or a mistake occurs, there will be no imps running around the house. ] "

She rested her chin in her palm while she looked at Utterson. The lawyer seemed both relieved and bothered by her answer. On one hand, Richard's being responsible. Can't take care of children if you can't take care of yourself, let alone if you didn't want them. On the other...

Utterson pushed back his sense of disappointment and pride and brought himself back into the conversation.

" [] That's helpful....

Thank you. [] "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago • edited

"[Perfectly understandable]," replied Lewis to Desirae's first answer.

He thanked her for the help she offered regarding Richard's drug caches.

Upon hearing her reply to the last question, he chuckled, and gave a nod of understanding. "[Quite wise]," he concurred.

"[We appreciate your help immensely]," he reiterated to her with a brief glance to Gabriel. "[Please do let us know if there's anything more we can do.]"

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

" [ I'll be sure to.

I would like to ask one question though. ] "

She shifted her gave to Lewis.

" [ How do you plan on confronting Peverell? ] "

Desirae's gaze turned dead serious.

" [ How do you expect to take care of Richard AND track down Peverell Shepard? What exactly will you do when you face him down? Ask politely? Cave his ribs in?

How do you plan to steal his best courier away? ] "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

"[No stealing necessary]," explained Lewis with a confident smile. "[I plan to ask him what he wants in compensation. This Peverell is a businessman, is he not? Surely if we made it worth his while, he might be willing to part with a simple courier--even the best.]"

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

" [ Don't make promises you can't keep Lewis. You may just make more trouble than there already is. ] "

She narrowed her eyes with a sigh.

" [ In any case, I need to get going. I have an appointment I can't miss. ] "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

"[I made no promise]," Lewis clarified. "[Merely outlined my intentions. How Peverell responds, what happens after, whether Richard has the fortitude to break off his addiction--such things are beyond my control. I shall give it my best go, though.]"

Desirae spoke further.

Weir nodded.

"[Fare well]," he wished her sincerely.

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago • edited

" [ Farewell Dr. Weir, Utterson. ] "

" [] Farewell Ms. Charbonneau. [] "

Desirae left, shutting the door behind her. Utterson waited for a moment before turning back to Lewis.

" So bring me up to speed. "

( Wanna Timeskip? )

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

((Sure!))

"And that's where things stand, as of now," finished Lewis, having made sure to keep his voice low. "Naturally, I meant what I said to Desirae--I'd prefer to simply work out a deal with Peverell and endeavor to avoid any unnecessary complications."

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

" I don't know if I agree with that. "

A troubled air hung over Utterson.

" I don't think Peverell is one to barter so easily, not if it concerns someone in his employ. And if it's true that Richard is his best man I doubt he'd be so willing to part with him.

What could you offer in place of such an asset? "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

"I'd like to ask him what he wants and then see if I can procure whatever it is," said Lewis simply with a shrug.

"What would you suggest, though?" he asked, perfectly open to other ideas. "The more options we have at our disposal, the better our chances."

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

" I don't really know.

I thought that maybe if we pay of RIchard's debt he would let us take him. Then again, there's no counting the ways that could go wrong. I also thought we could just take him home and not do anything. Again, an even worse idea. "

He leaned his head against his palms.

" Honestly, I'm out of my depth here. "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

"I might just be, too," conceded Lewis. "Planning as best I can and then playing things by ear is about all I'm good for."

A troubled look crossed his face.

"If...if things don't go well with Peverell," he thought aloud, "he knows where Richard lives. And you're here. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because of my shortsightedness. Should we...perhaps move you? Move Richard, too, if it comes down to it?"

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

" Should it come it, move Richard. I will stay and face Peverell with you. "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

Lewis looked relieved at Gabriel's permission regarding Richard, but distinctly uneasy about Utterson staying.

"Would it be at all possible to move the both of you, should it come to it?" Weir asked. "You're in no condition to defend yourself, should Peverell resort to...less civil means," he explained, voice full of sympathy and of slight embarrassment at having to ask this of his friend.

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

" So long as I have wit and will, I can defend myself. "

Utterson sat back with a smile.

" No druglord can change that. "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

Outwardly, Lewis chuckled and nonchalantly glanced at his pocket watch.

Inwardly, he grimaced.

"Well then," he said with an easy manner. "I suppose we had better call it a day, hadn't we? It is getting on..."

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

" Ah! You're right. "

With a heave, he got up, took his crutches, and went to fetch a nightgown for the night.

" Are you sure you going to be alright? "

He peered over to Lewis at the bench as he edged himself into the bed.

" Maybe I could get the quilt from downstairs?

O-or rather you get it. Or maybe even some of the more plush cushions? "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

"Not to worry," reassured Lewis. "These spare bed linens and covers will do nicely." He fluffed the pillow and bedded down for the night.

"Sleep well, Gabriel."

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

" Thank you. You too. "

He laid himself flat, making sure that his hip was comfortable, and tucked himself in. There was a worry about the next day, but soon enough, he found himself in a deep slumber, his worries temporarily forgotten.

The rest of the week was much like their first day. It would start with Richard snappy and moody, then Utterson would buck up and snap back. From there, they would find him in some stupor, high or skunk drunk, and he would proceed to start another fight then try to leave. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't.

Either way, Richard would then lock himself up in his room and sleep the rest of the day off, leaving Utterson and Lewis with the mess. Sometimes Desirae was there to help, but most days she could only stay for a few hours before having to leave again.

She did spend one day helping them find some of Richard's stashes and getting rid of them, causing a particularly moody Richard to downright p\*ssed when he couldn't find any of it.

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

"Richard," Lewis stated one day, "we've gone round like this for a week. Not a judgment--merely an observation. I can't help but wonder...what was that made you first decide to use opium? A person doesn't just start out of the blue."

A small pause.

"I know in my case, it was the laudanum they gave me in the hospital for the pain after the war. Tricky stuff to break free of, presuming one wants to," he admitted.

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago • edited

Richard didn't respond.

He sat in a chair in the middle of the hallway, face flush with anger, his gaze locked on the front door as his foot impatiently bounced restlessly.

He was fresh off a fight with Utterson. He had accused the lawyer of sleuthing around and stealing his opiates. Utterson didn't deny the accusation but refused to give details. This spurred an alarming response from Richard, outrage and fury flooding out with little warning.

Utterson didn't stand for this, trying to explain to his nephew once again why he was here. This just got him into another nasty spat with his kin and soon enough, he left Richard to keep his own temper from bursting.

Enfield's silence was punctuated by an angry drag of his cigarette, his third one in a row. His eyes flicked over to Lewis before returning to the door, his fury still burning as vivid as ever. He swallowed back some of his emotional bile and forced out a growl.

" Like it f\*cking matters. "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

"It does. I know you and Utterson don't get on, but he is trying to help, in his way. As I'm trying to, in mine."

A shrug.

"He's not the only one who worries about you, you know. Desirae would likely not admit it, but you can see it in her, too, can't you? The concern--whether it comes out as muted anxiety or vociferous anger. You think highly of her--as she does of you, that much is obvious. Don't you want to make things better for her?"

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago • edited

" Don't you bring her into THIS. "

He threw a wild glare his way, rising with a finger pointed Weir's way.

" I wasFINE. SHE was FINE.Everything was FINE until you and HIM came here!

I had it made! I could go out and spend the weekend neck-deep in someone, come back, run some cargo, then smoke myself NUMB! I could be with Deisrae and make her happy! I could make her SMILE!!

Now she comes around and she's dead tired and has to deal with your infuriating shit!! "

His voice began to crack and waver and he stopped to gather it again.

" So don't you DARE bring her into this!

I'm Warning You! "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

"'Smoke myself numb'," Lewis echoed, raising an eyebrow. "Now that's a telling turn of phrase." He abandoned the subject of Desirae as he pivoted to latch onto this new topic. "I take it you began your habit for emotional reasons, then. What was it you needed to numb? What was it you didn't want to feel?"

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago • edited

" God! Just f\*cking shut up! "

Richard took the back of his chair and pulled it behind him, stomping away from the front door to the sitting room.

" I don't even want to bother with your little game. I know you're just going to twist my words and build you're own answer. "

He threw his cigarette down and pulled a fresh one from his pocket.

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

"What, you think I like playing your bloody psychologist? I wouldn't have to bother with this 'little game' if you'd listen to reason. You're addicted, Gabriel's worried, Desirae's worried, and everyone's frustrated! Yet you refuse to alter your behavior one iota! Why? Do you enjoy having arguments daily? I certainly don't. It's time you face facts and admit you're in thrall to this drug!"

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago • edited

" Then LEAVE.

It's not like I asked you to come here in the first place. If I recall, I explicitly asked that you didn't come. But then again, you're must not be the smartest person if you're hanging around Gabriel for company. "

He light his smoke took a long drag, holding it in to let it curl up from his nostrils. He looked back at Lewis, scowling like a dragon peering out from it's den. Despite his current anger, he carried an odd defensiveness in his tone. It was like an animal hiding a wound, still baring it's teeth despite being lamed.

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

"I made your cousin a promise, else I would have by now, I assure you," Lewis fired back, voice filled with icy haughtiness. "You seem dead set on digging your own grave--and Peverell's perfectly happy to help you."

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

" Digging my grave? You mean, building in my future! "

Richard gave a conceited sneer, pushing back against Lewis's haughtiness.

" I get paid nearly a thousand francs for every run I do! I have the money to spend and the time to spend it.

When was the last time you even made as close as that much?

I could buy your damn flat back in London if I wanted too. Sh\*t! I could even buy your wife and child! There isn't anything I can't get!

If I die in some stupor, it'd have been worth it. It'd be worth it because I could afford to. "

He pulled a smoke out and threw it at Lewis.

" I pity the man who can't choose where he dies. "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

Weir spoke with quiet import.

"No doubt Desirae will be just thrilled to find your corpse."

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

" I already told not to bring her into this! "

His smugness immediately dropped dead as he stormed over to Lewis, protective fury burning in his gaze. He stopped inches near Weir's face.

" You mention her again and I'll make sure you can't. "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

Lewis didn't bat an eyelash.

"She's in this whether she likes it or not," he stated with a look of mild pity that bordered on resignation.

He sighed through his nose.

"She loves you, you know. Don't think she's uninvolved. Don't pretend you're not hurting her. Don't think you won't hurt her further when you die."

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago • edited

" F-F-F\*CK YOU!!! "

A hard shove greeted Lewis, nearly knocking him to the ground. With a sharp inhale, tears came flooding down Enfield's cheeks, each one burning with hurt.

" YOU CAN'T SAY THAT! Y-YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!! "

He stumbled back and nearly tripped over the chair.

" Goddamnit! "

He lashed out, kicking the chair over with a strangle scream. His heart pounded in his chest, his lungs heaving with each breathe, unable to get much air between the smoke and his tears. He let out a harsh, wet cough, dropping his smoke onto the carpet.

Eventually, he recovered some of his breathe to gasped out a retort.

" ffFine!! You wanna know why I smoke Opium?!

I do it because I'm never happy! "

He stood up with his hand to his chest.

" I do it because it makes me feel happy! I don't have to think when I'm high, I don't have to feel when I'm high! The world doesn't exist in Hell...

Not death, not life...Not love, not hate...

Nothing...

That's why I do it. "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

Thankfully, Lewis had been prepared for the shove--or worse--and simply went with it, thus retaining his balance.

He watched Enfield commit violence upon the furniture, and couldn't help but be reminded of himself.

Eventually, Richard spoke.

When he'd finished, Lewis gave a long, slow dip of his head, his mouth a firm line as his lips pressed together.

"I understand," he said after a moment, meeting Enfield's gaze. "I truly do." The look in his eyes conveyed as much.

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago • edited

" No you don't... "

He sucked in a breathe and wiped away his tears despite more taking their place.

" You can't understand what it's like.

Feeling everything rot away...

Knowing that no matter what, you can never truly vanish because you're too scared to.

Besides, Gabriel wouldn't want someone like me around, let alone similar. "

His words weighed heavy with a crushing hurt, something that had been festering within him for longer than one could imagine. He leaned down and took his smoke back.

" So just stop lying. That's my job. "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

Lewis laughed, the sound hollow and sad and not entirely sane.

"I may lie," he managed after a moment. "But not about this," he finished in a haunted whisper, struggling to rein in his own emotion. Tears welled in his eyes. He closed them and stifled what had threatened to become a sob.

He dared not breathe.

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago • edited

Richard paused as he watched the other man. It was curious to see the doctor break down considering this was the same person who pinned him down at the drop of a hat and tracked him down to his favorite bar. This was supposed to be the same person who was helping Gabriel?

He let out a breathless laugh.

" Hold on. "

Stepping past Lewis, he went into the living room cabinet and took a half filled bottle of old whiskey. He came back and pat Weir on the back.

" We can't have a proper pity wank without some drink. "

Richard popped the top off and offered it to him.

" Don't worry about chugging it down, I got plenty more. "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

By the time Enfield returned, Weir had gotten a hold of himself.

He gave a weak but grateful laugh at Richard's statement, and took the proffered bottle, taking four hearty gulps before passing it back.

"Much obliged."

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

Enfield smiled, happy to have helped, and finished off the bottle. He rubbed his nose with a sniff and took Weir by the arm.

" Come. You can take a seat over here. "

He gestured over to the daybed against the wall.

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

Lewis followed and sat down.

"Thank you."

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago • edited

Once he got Weir settled, he entered the empty storage closet and came out with three more bottles, all new and unopened. Popping two open, Richard went and picked up his chair and handed one bottle to Lewis.

He raised his and chugged it down past halfway. Once he was put it back down, he laid his head back, happy to wash his emotions away for the moment.

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

Lewis gladly accepted the bottle and took a swig.

He watched Enfield drain half of his.

Unless he has my tolerance, that cannae be healthful, Weir reflected.

And he's fleein' his feelin's again. Years, he said he's been doin' this.

Not good. Not good at all. A drink now and then is no trouble, but this... This is sickness.

He let out a breath, still remarkably sober.

"Better?" he asked.

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

" For the moment. "

The older man kicked up his feet with a smile.

" Have to make the bottle last the best I can anyways. "

He clutched his bottle close to his chest, leaning it back to keep from accidentally spilling it.

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

"Mm," Lewis acknowledged with a nod.

He took a sip of whisky, savoring the taste.

After a moment, he addressed Enfield again.

"This...can be good sometimes. At the end of a bad day. If you've pain in your body. To be social. That sort of thing."

He paused, gauging Richard's reaction.

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago • edited

" Sometimes?

Why would you be social or ease pain sometimes? "

Richard arched his eyebrows with a knowing smile.

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

This drew a brief laugh from Lewis.

"You know what I mean."

He looked at the bottle in his hand, then back up to Richard.

"Drink is a godsend for temporary problems. Things that'll pass in time. Same with opium, to an extent," he admitted with a shrug.

"'Tis only when used on a long-term problem that it comes to be...hurtful rather than helpful. It pacifies the symptoms but leaves the root problem unsolved. It also brings on...complications." He shook his head. "Rather unfortunate ones, at that."

He held Enfield's gaze.

"That's been my experience, anyway," he confessed.

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

" Oh? "

Enfield's smile faded into something a little more demure.

" Do tell. "

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago • edited

"I..."

He debated how much to share and how to phrase it.

"In the past...I let my vices rule me. I turned to them because I hadn't properly dealt with something within myself. Hadn't made my peace with certain things that had happened and feelings I couldn't bear--or thought I couldn't. It took..."

A sigh, the breath threatening to hitch.

A moment. A breath to calm himself, in and slowly out.

"It took losing someone very dear to shake me from my willing stupor," he confided. "For me to see what a fool I'd been."

He looked down, then back to Enfield.

"I tried to take my own life. I was certain I'd succeeded as I felt my consciousness fade."

A bittersweet smile.

"Obviously, I'm still here. And there are people I care about and who care for me. They would hurt if I were to...succeed in such an endeavor. They would hurt if I overdosed and my breathing stopped forever.

"At first, it was sheerly in deference to them that I altered my behavior," he continued. "But that time without the drugs, without my vices to fall back on...it forced me to finally confront some truths I'd long fled from. It was painful at the time, yes. But ultimately liberating. It's made me who I am. Helped me understand so much of life, and of myself. Made me realize what's truly important.

"I never want to hurt the people I care for," he vowed, shaking his head. "I treasure them. They give me purpose, keep me tethered to the world instead of drowning in melancholy and desperate to escape it. Help me see what living's for.

"I'd not trade that for anything.

"I know you don't want to hurt. And you surely don't want to hurt those around you. I understand," he asserted, half-closed hand to his chest. "Truly.

"Yes, I came initially because Gabriel asked. But I'm here for you, Richard, if I'm honest. It needn't go with you as it did with me, your loved ones collateral damage. If I can spare you an ounce of loss--of heartbreak--then this is all worth it. Say the word, and I'm your man--steadfast as the Rock of Gibraltar. But I cannot do this alone. I need your help. For your sake...and theirs."

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The Fox  Jekyll1886 • a year ago

A long moment of silence followed Weir's confession. Any disinterest there may have been was nowhere to be seen. In its place was honest, genuine introspection.

For the first time that week, Richard was himself, truly and fully. Everything that he had present himself to be, the arrogance, the apathy...All that gave way in this one moment.

Richard took his feet down from the table and closed his bottle, taking a long, utterly exhausted sigh. He cupped his hands together in his lap, finding his words very slowly.

" Don't...tell Gabriel I said this... "

He closed his eyes in concentration.

" Sometimes I wish I could stop. Sometimes I wish I could take everything back. I wish...

Sh\*t. How do I say this?"

He ran his fingers through his hair.

" I sometimes think about what I could've become. I've seen myself die so many ways. I've died from pneumonia, I've died in the streets while people walk past me. I've been gutted like a fish, had my heart explode, pass in my sleep, pass in nightmare haze...

In every vision I see, I am always alone.

No one wants me. "

In the distance, Utterson came to the stairway and stopped. He turned to the dining room, listening to the faint voice of his nephew.

" My mother passed when I was seven. Seven? Eight? Somewhere around that time. No doubt Gabriel's already told you the story.

Before she passed, everything was normal. The family was happy, they would smile and laugh. My father even came around time to time.

I was wanted.

Then she passed. They all grew quiet, some left and never came back...My father didn't came back. Nobody wanted to talk to me, nobody wanted to look at me. Suddenly I was just another shadow in the corner...

The only person who was wiling to care was yours truly, Gabriel John Utterson. "

Richard swallowed a bitter laugh.

" This would be the case till I grew to be older. When another aunt or uncle passed, he would always be the person there to comfort me. Even if I threw a fit or lashed out, he would be the shoulder I cried on.

You'd think he was a angel in disguise with his patience. "

He met Weir's gaze.

" Well, once I started to grow into my own...

That's where compassion ends apparently.

He stopped caring about when I grew older. He became another stranger in the crowd. "

Three years ago, he threatened to disown me. He threatened to leave me. And for what? For drinking with friends? For enjoying bodily pleasures? What reason would he have to disown his last kin if not for his own hate and disdain! "

His temper began to flare, his voice became sharp with pain.

" It was like I was a monster to him! Nothing I did was good! Nothing I did was proper!

Well guess what.

I became his monster.

If he wanted to see me as some lascivious, unhinged boar, so be it. I would be the good kin I am and made his dream come true. I can be hedonistic and cruel, I can be a wh\*re monger Lewis.

I can be just about anything! Just know that, even if I try to change, it all lies on his head.

He made me. Everything I have done is his fault. Not Mine."

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Jekyll1886  The Fox • a year ago

"You felt judged," concurred Lewis. "And abandoned--betrayed, even. So you reasoned, 'If I'm to be convicted of the crime, I may as well enjoy committing it.'"

A nod. A short, breathy laugh, somewhere between humor and chagrin, at the parallels.

"As I did with my father."

A moment of reflection.

"Though he certainly didn't have your cousin's patience. Ever." A small chuckle followed.

"I reacted much the same way you did.

"For a time, we either argued or spoke not at all. He even threatened to disown me."

A slow breath, bordering on a sigh.

"I think...in the end, it was society did us both a disservice. It defines what's 'respectable' so narrowly as to straitjacket us all, creating false dichotomies. I realized--years on, when I had children of my own--that my father had done what he did and said what he said out of worry for me, out of concern, though I certainly didn't see it at the time. And I had reacted as any young man would, for he never told me his reasons. He just did what he did and I was left to draw my own conclusions. Add to that neither of us had any way to verbalize what was actually wrong, much less work to the bottom of things together..." He shook his head.

"I wouldn't doubt Gabriel thought he had to be cruel to be kind. 'Tis a load of utter horsesh\*t, but we're told 'tis true." He exhaled through his nose. "'Common wisdom' is all too common, and seldom wise."

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