A Guide To Living Things That Will Kill You

**A Guide to Living Things That Will Kill You** is book written by the Arcanist Timon Batrok. Batrok is a resident of Fort Tarsis and has written about how dangerous the Flora and Fauna of Bastion is.

## Collection Details

A total of **9** cortex entries make reference to A Guide To Living Things That Will Kill You.

Skeptical Arcanist Timon Batrok writes about the dangers posed by the creatures and plants found all across Bastion, especially Northern Bastion. The following are only some excerpts from his book.

## Grabbit (1)

*See Cortex Entry: Grabbit (1) for More Details*

I will begin this guide with a short examination of the seemingly harmless grabbit. My cousin and a pet grabbit once, and contrary to legend, it didn’t steal shards and hoard treasure. My cousin liked to dress it up like a baby and coo at it, and when I expressed my concern, she said the grabbit liked it. Maybe. Or maybe it just put up with my cousin because it hoped she’d die soon and it could have a nice dinner.

— From *“**A Guide To Living Things That Will Kill You**”* by Timon Batrok

## Tesilar (1)

*See Cortex Entry: Tesilar (1) for More Details*

While "Tessi the Tesilar" is a favorite child's toy, real tesilars are not so snuggly. Anyone getting too close to a tesilar should prepare to be electrocuted. And by too close, I mean "in the general vicinity". Most animals are smart enough to avoid the tesilar, except of course wolven, which will still try to eat them, even after they've been zapped. Which is terrifying. If wolven aren't afraid of the tesilar's electromagnetic field, they probably won't be afraid of anything a javelin can do. I hate wolven.

— From *“**A Guide To Living Things That Will Kill You**”* by Timon Batrok

## Unknown Creature Bst189567307

*See Cortex Entry: Unknown Creature Bst189567307 for More Details*

An offensive and hideous new visitor to Bastion was recently spotted in Fort Tarsis, perched in an Arcanist's shop with malice gleaming behind its dead eyes. We may never know what type of slavering beast it is, as the Arcanist insists it isn't an animal, but a twisted Anthem mutation. The deluded fellow will certainly learn his lesson when the fiend bites his head off as he sleeps and swallows it, helmet and all.

A gentle dissection of the creature would solve this mystery and satisfy my professional curiosity.

## Blirpbit

*See Cortex Entry: Blirpbit for More Details*

Unknown Creature Bst189567307, recently observed in a Fort Tarsis shop, has finally been identified as a Blirpbit. Regardless of his keeper's outrageous claims, this beast (yes, beast!) is ancient, revered, and very rare.

Old texts also describe it as "venomous and deadly". When the Blirpbit feels threatened, it is able to unhinge its jaw and envelop its assailant's face; unable to breathe, the attacker slowly suffocates under noxious fumes that were noted as "smelling like a sickly-sweet, feces-encrusted, Stinkhand pie" (if such a thing existed)

In recent history, Birpbits were hunted almost to extinction. While their ability to annoy and enrage would be reason enough to see them gone, their venom was thought to cure the painful rash brought on by javelin chafing.

— From ***A Guide To Living Things That Will Kill You*** by Timon Batrok

## Wolven (1)

*See Cortex Entry: Wolven (1) for More Details*

Imagine gnashing teeth coming at you over and over again in quick succession. You raise your weapon to defend yourself but another beast has come at you from behind. The pack closes in, and you pray to the Shapers that your javelin has cooled down enough to fly up out of the nightmare. But they’re everywhere. Wolven… wolven in the dark.

— From '**“**A Guide To Living Things That Will Kill You**” '**by Timon Batrok

## Wyvern (1)

*See Cortex Entry: Wyvern (1) for More Details*

There are things that will kill you for food or self-defense. Then there's these elemental terrors, that kill you to appease their own malicious sense of humor. Not only will they rain fire from above, but they will sneak up behind you and then rain fire from above. Luckily, you can listen for their distinctive shriek and take cover. If you can find cover. What if you don’t have cover? What if you’re all alone with no hope of rescue? My professional advice is: just stay home in the first place. There are so many better things to do.

—From *“**A Guide To Living Things That Will Kill You**”* by Timon Batrok

## Ice Flower

*See Cortex Entry: Ice Flower for More Details*

Highly valued for its gooey insides, the Ice Flower's yearly appearance always creates excitement, as its sap can be used as a coolant all year long! In our region, this bulbous beauty only grows in the hostile, extreme low-temperature areas that occur inside rare Shaper ice globes. But don't even think of trying to harvest an Ice Flower yourself! The precious sap that runs through its veins can freeze you on the spot—if it doesn't blow you up first

— From *“**A Guide To Living Things That Will Kill You**”* by Timon Batrok

## Night Vine

*See Cortex Entry: Night Vine for More Details*

This plant looks like everything you want to find in the wild. Beautiful, graceful, swaying before you, offering a gentle, comforting light in the darkness. Do not be fooled. Do not go closer. Do not stand below it. It's hiding a razor-like tongue that will cut you shreds, leaving you in ribbons on the ground to be absorbed later. Like my mother on holidays, it will not hesitate to give you a lashing.

— From *“**A Guide To Living Things That Will Kill You**”* by Timon Batrok

## Stinging Gulch (District)

*See Cortex Entry: Stinging Gulch (District) for More Details*

Of course not everything beyond the wall will kill you. Some of the birds are quite friendly. I was watching a flock of indigoes when I wandered into the Hollows, completely missing the huge insect colonies. The insects swarmed and damaged my javelin. It was pure luck that I wasn’t eaten by wolven right there! Which brings me to the point of this guide: while not everything is trying to kill you, it may get you killed anyway. Stay home.

— From ***A Guide To Living Things That Will Kill You*** by Timon Batrok