Blood 48

**Chapter 48**

Back to Verna and Leoma, the latter of whom has just finished listing all the Bad Nuns in the Big Stone Witch House. She further exposits that Jagang intends to take over the Big Stone Witch House and live there for centuries under the anti-aging spell and using the prophecies to ensure his eternal victory (yeah, good luck with that). Verna orders Leoma to kiss her ring and beg forgiveness, and when Leoma states that she can't, Verna dildos her to death.

Verna then sneaks down the hall to Simona's cell, Simona being the “crazy” Nun from a while back whom you may not recall. Verna explains to Simona that she can be free of the dream walker if she swears loyalty to Richard, whom Simona refers to as *“trouble and wonder in one package.”* Well, she's half right. Simona swears, Verna frees her, and off they go.

But oh noes! They're stopped by two guards, armed with pikes. \~/ Because a fifteen-foot polearm is exactly what your prison guards should be carrying in cramped corridors.

In any event, the guards level their pikes and demand that the escaping prisoners surrender. Verna recognizes one of the guards as *“Walsh;”* the other I hereby dub Redshirt. Verna insists that she's not a Bad Nun, pointing out that if she was, she would simply kill Walsh and Redshirt instead of wasting time talking. She declares that . . . actually, I'll just quote her argument verbatim:

*“We are at war. The emperor wishes to put the world under his fist.* [not like Richard, eh, Verna?] *He uses the true Sisters of the Dark, like Leoma, and the new Prelate, Ulicia. You know them, and you know me. Who do you believe?”*

Truly, an argument worthy of Atticus Finch. \~/ Walsh, however, is not entirely convinced, so Verna informs him that Richard is at war with the Order, and Walsh has to choose sides, here and now. Walsh considers for a bit, then decides, screw the rule of law, screw the oaths he swore, screw everything, his loyalty is to the angry guy he knew for a few weeks.

Redshirt screams *“The Order!”* and attempts to pike Verna to death, but Verna murders him with magic. Nice going, Redshirt; take on two escaping convicts who are *sorceresses,* plus a traitorous fellow guard, all while they're on guard and ready for you, with no backup or plan. You were and idiot and now you're dead.

Also, why on earth do we have two mundane guards keeping watch over two *sorceresses?* Yes, both Verna and Simona had collars on to neutralize their magic, but collars can be subverted, and Verna was able to saunter down to Simona's cell without so much as stubbing her toe. At the bare minimum I would expect some sort of alarm system where the guards on duty could warn everyone in the event of an escape attempt.

Anyway, Walsh observes the bloody corpse of his fellow guard – his co-worker, a man he in all likelihood knew, talked with, drank with, and socialized with – and say *“I guess I chose right.”* Because might makes right; remember that. \~/ Except when it doesn't.

Verna, Simona and Walsh head outside and join up with Millie the cleaning woman, ~~after which they start a rock band and solve mysteries with the aid of a talking dog~~. Seconds later, they encounter Philippa, one of Verna's advisors, who proves her trustworthiness by kissing her ring (remember, there are only ever two sides, and if you're not a hateful devil-worshiper you're on the side of Richard and his friends, always).

Back to Richard, who has somehow escaped Merissa, and is wandering around the grounds of the Big Stone Witch House. He briefly wonders why the Misters wanted to go to Aydindril, hoping it was just to establish a new home for themselves. Given that they lived in the Grove Woods for three millennia without harming anyone except the occasional fool who intruded, this seems entirely likely, and a clan of Misters living near Aydindril who considered Richard an ally would be an interesting development. Never fear, though; Misters are evil through and through, because we can't have any of those messy shades of gray.

Richard dithers around for a while, then sneaks into the Popette's office, where he is greeted by Ulicia, Tovi, Cecilia, Armina and Merissa (Nietzsche is not there). However, rather that annihilating him on the spot like sensible Evil Sorceresses, they have a bargain to offer him. They want to swear loyalty to him, thus gaining the protection of his anti-dream walker effect. Richard points out that this would require them to work toward his ends, but Ulicia insists that it wouldn't. She babbles some legalese for a page and a half, the gist of which is: as long as they're not actively working *against* Richard, the Bad Nuns won't consider themselves to have violated their oath of loyalty. By their logic, this works; I'm pretty sure it doesn't work by any real-world system of logic, but there you go. “The writings of Terry Goodkind” and “real-world logic” tend to have very little in common.

Furthermore, Richard is only allowed to ask them one question: “Where's Kahlan?” Failing to answer that question honestly would be a violation of their oath, so Richard can be sure of the answer, but if he tries to ask anything else or give them any orders, they'll just kill him.

Yeah, no. That just plain does not work. It might be tolerable as an *agreement,* wherein Richard agreed to cast a specific spell in return for the answer to a specific question, but the “spell” *explicitly requires loyalty to Richard.* I don't care what torturous gymnastics you put the language through; pursuing the interests of someone's enemy *violates your oath of loyalty to that person.* Period.

Hell, according to most systems of honor and loyalty, merely failing to pursue your lord's goals with sufficient vigor can count as a failure. Richard and the Nuns can agree on whatever they want, but Richard's opinion isn't what counts here, and the Nuns' opinion most especially does not count.

\~/\~/\~/\~/

Yes, four drinks. It's that stupid.

Anyway, Richard agrees.

We cut forward . . . five minutes or so. Why? Because. Richard has run off to save Kahlan, and the Bad Nuns are pondering their options. Suddenly, the sailors from the *Lady Sefa* come barging in for no apparent reason. \~/ The Bad Nuns begin vengeance-torturing them, and the chapter ends on that delightful note.

Wat.

Drinks: 8

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