The Great Potato Run

Jaime Valdez shortly before the Great Potato Run of 2039

## Quote

*"The Great Potato Run is one of the most cherished festivals here on the Galapagos Islands. Sure, its a bit pricey to use our sour potatoes worth two hundred marks each and then just to squash them and throw them and stomp on them, but its all in good fun.*" - A Pirate of the Galapagos Islands, 2038

## Overview

The Great Potato Run is an annual festival celebrating the first Galapagos Potato ever harvested on the Galapagos Islands, on the 15th of July. The Galapagos Potato, which is a specially modified Potato created by Duncan Heyward, has a unique sour flavor and texture unachievable by any other place in the world. Not only that, but the potato itself experiences an abnormally fast growth rate, reaching maturity in just a week. Through what Heyward would call no small amount of manipulation, these potatoes became a worldwide delicacy overnight, skyrocketing its unit cost to 95 marks (97 dollars per potato), and becoming the main export of the Galapagos to the West Caribbean Company, as other countries feared trading with the Galapagos due to issues of international recognition. Hence, the Great Potato Run is special for stockpiling one week worth of potatoes from most farms, or an equivalent of 40,000.000 millions dollars worth of potatoes, and then squandering it in a wild mess of festivities that is not limited to potato dodgeball, potato eating contests, potato mallet smashing, amongst others.

The Great Potato Run is first initiated by the Lord of the Galapagos Colony, who stands at the harbor with massive shipping crates of potatoes behind him or her early in the morning. After reading off a speech commending the efforts of the people in the continued prosperity of the Galapagos islands, and after what is usually several minute of unnecessary applause, the crates are opened, and potatoes flood out. At the same time, stands and booths and stalls open up around the island, sporting all kinds of minor potato games or contests or trivia. Drinks are free on this day, provided by the Galapagos Government, and unsurprisingly the same is true of potatoes. Usually musicians line every street corner, playing merry and jolly tunes as hordes of people swarm the large feasting tables and stuff their faces with drink and food. A ship is burned down at least once an hour, to provide an impressive spectacle, and every two hours an official game of the Great Potato Run is held, with official sign ups. The Great Potato Run's official games or contests are considered to be the main attraction of the event, as any game possible that can be thought of is now held in a world championships sort of setting with winners being provided with a year long supply of potatoes, a medal signed by the Galapagos Lord, and of course, bragging rights.

The First Game, at 9am, is the Potato Javelin Toss. Contestants compete to see who can throw a javelin at a propped up potato at any distance of their choice, with ten tries. The individual who can score the most points based off of the distance they hit the potato is crowned the winner. This event takes place along the main dock, with crowds of spectators seemingly to be unworried as they stand decently close to the sides. The current record holder is Oba Achebe, a current Mercenary Fighter of the Pacifc, during the Potato Run of 37, who made 8 out of his 10 throws, scoring 74 points. He made one maximum distance throw to score 10 points. Some comment that perhaps his javelin throwing abilities are directly tied to the fact that he also has the highest body count with a javelin, at 18 confirmed kills against other warring factions.

The Second Game, at 11am, is the Potato Eating Contest. Unlike most of the smaller eating contests around the islands, this one was held at the very top of Heyward Farm, on the main island of the Galapagos, with a panoramic view of the Ocean all around. As straightforward as it sounds, contestants eat as many potatoes as humanly possible during this event, with a time limit of one hour and fifteen minutes. The current record holder is James Blake, who consumed a staggering 56 potatoes in the Run of 36. Unfortunately, Blake fell into a coma for fifteen days after this event, albeit he recovered well afterwards.

The Third Game, at 1pm, is the Potato Dodgeball Championships. With pre established teams of ten people and numbering about sixteen teams, these teams compete on a separate island (free boat fares are included), in what is the closest thing to a national sport for the Galapagos. The Dodgeball championships tend to be simply a culmination of the sport, as it is on a daily practiced on the Galapagos, but here is where teams decide who is the best, and only the top 16 with the best record are chosen. Like most sports, betting and in depth analysis of players and teams take place, with many fans sporting colors and symbols of their favorite teams as in any other place in the world. The championship winners of the 37 Potato Run have been the defending champions since 35, who are named the "Hot Cheetos," a team based in the Cook Islands. Besides this, the "Tik Tok Renegades" are another top team, alongside the "LongQuan Tian," both Galapagos based team.

The Fourth game, at 3pm, is the Potato Thrash. Very similar to the Dodgeball championships, in that its a team sport, second in popularity only to Potato Dodgeball. The Potato Thrash is essentially a variation of American Football, but used with a potato. Some key differences is that kicking is allowed, and the potato is never considered down even when it touches the ground. The Potato Thrash likewise takes place on a seperate field, packed with spectators and celebrations alongside the game. The game lasts just about two hours, howevers during the 36 Potato Run the game was notable for having lasted a staggering four hours due to the inability of both teams to put a point on the board. The top Potato Thrash teams are the Blue Island "Bloppins," the Galapagos "Hunchbacks," and the Mayweather "Challengers."

The last game, at 5pm, is the actual Great Potato Run, Mimicking the fateful day in the 15th of July when the first batch of Galapagos Potatoes were first delivered by a farmer desperately running around the island to show everyone the newfound discovery, and then bringing it all the way up to the Lord's Homestead, the Great Potato Run is by far the most cherished and anticipated contest, that very well defines the identity of the Galapagos Islands. Individual athletes line up with a large sack of Galapagos Potatoes, weighing over 85 pounds just like the original bag, and then they run across major checkpoints around the Galapagos in an extended run across the entire area. Everywhere they go there are cheering and drinking spectators, lined up in front of every single building possible. It is perhaps the one activity in all of the Great Potato Run that brings the colony closest together. The winner of the contest is whoever is the first to dump their bag of potatoes at the feet of the Galapagos Lord, who stands waiting at their homestead. Usually this run takes just about two hours, nearing sunset, and the winners are especially commendated and congratulated and is considered the most prestigious victory.

After the Great Potato Run general festivities drag on for practically the entire night, mimicking the same pattern of day, and many individuals take to bars, the streets, and the docks to set up gatherings of campfires, tents, dancing, drinking, barbecuing, and much more. Some unofficial pirate ship racing takes place at sunset, alongside fireworks when illegally smuggled. Special Night Markets open up at 8pm, boasting food, trinkets, goods, and accessories from all over the world and Pacific, which becomes almost vibrant as Chinatown itself. By the start of the next morning most everyone is knocked out and exhausted, and this is when the communal cleanup begins, albeit with a lack of enthusiasm. and by the end of this day it can be said that the festivity has officially concluded.