Egg Salad™

Natter's Friendly Neighborhood Emo

ereptile malfunction - Nemesis

## Overview

Egg Salad™, also known simply as Egg, is a Natter user known for starting discourse in the wee hours of the night as well as for showing up sporadically and then disappearing for several days. When Egg is available, she is usually around for way longer than necessary. Natter's local Punk Grock BiEdge advocates for doing only what one is comfortable with and not conforming to society's expectations or the expectations of peers. When online, Egg will always come when called, and if asked politely, will post pictures of the infamous Egg Salad Dog.

## Early Life

Egg Salad™ was born in the Cash Cab on a cold winter night in December of 1997. She was born 3 years prematurely, which is why her twin Fluff is younger. The consequences of being born before one's own conception are the mental breakdowns Egg occasionally experiences, leading to her sporadic absences from Natter from time to time.

Immediately after birth, Egg enrolled in the fire bending academy and mastered the art of fire bending, despite not being able to produce the fire required to truly bend.

To find a new, less dangerous outlet, Egg registered to become an Emo and hasn't turned back since.

## Beginning Disasters

### Romantic Life

After flirting with Cowbot to no avail, Egg turned to other Natter regulars to find romance. Mod Hurgle Turgle threatened to send a deep web hitman after Egg, which enthralled her, so she proposed to Hurgle. Hurgle accepted, under the condition that Egg helped with some geometry homework, and the two were then married, though without the blessing of Hurgle's sister, Krungle. Not long after, Krungle nullified the marriage, leaving Egg a Single Lady once again.

### God War

Egg Salad™ arrived during the falling actions of the God War and contributed by throwing a dog attached to a rope into the portal. However, when Cowbot was killed by Fuckhands McMike, Egg was knocked unconscious and possessed by Mecha Cowbot, the evolved form of Cowbot from the dark future timeline of the God War. Mecha Cowbot revealed that only a being of true and pure light could save the God War timeline from doom and return the original Cowbot. Fluff, a being of true and pure light, arrived and Mecha Cowbot disappeared, but it wasn't until several days later that Cowbot returned. Fuckhands McMike has yet to be seen again. No one knows how Cowbot was restored, though Jimbles Notronbo claimed they brought him back.

## Additional Disasters

### Omegle Raid

Egg Salad™ planned and started the first Natter Omegle Raid, where Natter users filtered chat by interest in natter and tried to guess who they were speaking to. Popular topics were the Boy Mayor of Second Life, TOTINOS, and the arguments of Dog's Suffrage.

### April Fool's Day Stream

For April Fool's Day, Egg warned Natter that He was coming and teased the start of another God War. Mr. Thomas the Train threatened to put Egg into an orb and No threatened to throw Egg into the void, but they weren't able to stop her because there were too many voices. When Lisa said her favorite shape was a square, Egg released Him and began a stream of a loop of a math video about triangles where some strange man said ISOCELESISOCELESISOCELES. Eventually Pharah figured out that the whole joke was in reference to the latest DanAndPhilCRAFTS video, and the stream switched to a loop of the Potato Prints video layered several times at offset times. The stream continued until the end of April Fool's Day PST, which added up to a 12 hour stream. The stream ended with musical performances from the remaining viewers.

### NatterCon 2017

When user King Noodle Snek mentioned that he was coming through Egg's, and other local user Horse Pussy's city, Egg went and met up with Horse Pussy at work, bring the gift of painkillers, and met up with Snek at one of the city's worse casino arcades, bringing the gift of fruit salad because there were no eggs at 7/11. This day became the second installment of NatterCon 2017, this one being the West Coast Edition.