Enter Lord Farquaad

Here's how Lord Farquaad makes his debut in *Thomas and Twilight Sparkle meet Shrek*.

[Then we see a glass, following a montage of someone walking down the hall as dramatic music is playing in the background. And we see someone pouring milk in the cub, and the person putting on a glove and it reveals to be Lord Farquaad, and 2 guards gets scared of seeing him, and he goes into a room and see someone being tortured with the milk]

Gingy: (yelling protests as he's dunked)

Lord Farquaad: That's enough! He's ready to talk.

[the Camera then turns over to the man as he shops a Gingerbread Man named Gingy in his hand]

Gingy: [coughing and choking]

[The Man then slams Gingy on a cooking sheet]

Lord Farquaad: (cackles as he walks up to the table, but it's too high) [clears throat]

[the table's lowered to his level]

Lord Farquaad: [takes out Gingy's legs and starts playing with them] Run, run, run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!

Gingy: You're a monster!

Lord Farquaad: I'm not the monster here, *you* are! (throws one leg on the table) You and the rest of that fairytale trash poisoning my perfect world. (crushes the other leg to dust) [slams his fist on the table] Now tell me, where are the others?!

Gingy: Eat me! (spits in his face)

Lord Farquaad: Yuh! (wipes it off) I've tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I'll.. [grabs Gingy's gumdrop button]

Gingy: No, not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!

Lord Farquaad: Alright then, (shines light over Gingy) **WHO'S HIDING THEM?!**

Gingy: Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know.... The Muffin Man?

Lord Farquaad: The Muffin Man?

Gingy: The Muffin Man.

Lord Farquaad: Yes, I know the Muffin Man. Who lives on Drewly Lane?

Gingy: Well, she's married to the Muffin man.

Lord Farquaad: The Muffin Man?!

Gingy: The Muffin Man!

Lord Farquaad: She's married to the Muffin Man.

[then the door swings open]

Lord Farquaad: (gasps)

Captain Guard: My Lord! We've found it.

Lord Farquaad: Well, what are you waiting for? Bring it in!

[the Captain then carries some object covered in a sheet and hangs it from a chain as he removes the cloth revealing the magic mirror which then the face magically appears]

Men: (gasps)

Gingy: Oooooh!

Lord Farquaad: Magic Mirror...

Gingy: Don't tell him anything! [then Farquaad walks over] NOOO!!! [then Farquaad throws him into a garbage can]

Farquaad: Evening. Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?

Magic Mirror: Well, technically, you're not a king.

Lord Farquaad:Uhh Thelonious?

Thelonious: (takes out a mirror and smashes it)

Lord Farquaad: You were saying?

Magic Mirror: What I mean is, you're not a king *yet*. But *can* become one. All you have to do is marry a princess.

Lord Farquaad: Go on.

Magic Mirror: [chuckles] So, just sit back, and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! [they appear on the mirror] Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away.She likes sushi, and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome, Cinderella. Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. [drum beats] Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on, give it up for, Snow White! And last, but certainly not least, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol, who likes pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! So will it be? Bachelorette number one, Bachelorette number two, or bachelorette number three?

[Soon everyone is shouting as Farquaad can't make his mine]

Executioner: Three. Pick number three, my lord.

Lord Farquad: Okay, okay, uhhhhh, number three!

Magic Mirror: Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona.

[A song plays as everyone claps and celebrates]

Lord Farquaad: Princess Fiona. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go...

Magic Mirror: But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.

Lord Farquaad: I'll do it!

Magic Mirror: Yes, but after sunset...

Lord Farquaad: Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament!