The Food Lessons

The Food Lessons are a series of 'lesson' videos by Matrixlord212 that comprise a vast array of confectionary, beverages and snacks.

## Concept

Questions have been asked as to what the purpose of the show is. It is clearly not a review show, as Matrixlord rarely gives his opinions on the products, instead discussing only his nostalgia for them and making semi-sexual groans as the food enters his mouth. When pushed about what 'lesson' was being imparted, Matrixlord claimed to be showing the products for those in 'other countries' who may not have access to exotic treats such as donuts, pizza and bottled water.

## The Donut Lesson

Much like Doctor Who is the longest-running science fiction programme, the Donut Lesson is the longest-running Food Lesson. It has endured several seasons and repeated attempts at cancellation by its host during moments of sober reflection on his health, but always ends up back on the YouTube surveys after a few months.

It is perhaps the most grotesque of the Food Lessons, with crumbs regularly overflowing as Matrixlord masticates with an open mouth, and the donut rarely surviving more than three bites.

This series is also an expression of his ongoing obsession with Dunkin Donuts, a place where, during much happier and financially stable times, Matrixlord would eat his breakfast daily. The donuts which feature in this series are almost exclusively purchased from Dunkin, with some minor exceptions. Oddly enough, the donuts are often crushed or broken due to poor packaging by the staff, leading one to question his loyal patronage.

## The Pizza Lesson

Like the Donut Lesson, this is one of the earliest Food Lesson series. While there is nothing particularly special about this, it is a source of constant frustration to the author of this article, as Matrixlord seems to repeatedly buy Domino's pizza while living in fucking New York City.

## The Water Lesson

By far the most ridiculous Food Lesson series so far. This was initially spawned by Matrixlord as a 'joke' in reaction to the health concerns he had received from family and viewers. However, Matrixlord soon claimed to be feeling 'much healthier' after incorporating so much water into his diet and decided to continue the series indefinitely, thus confirming the worries of the aforementioned people. While he briefly persisted in reviewing generic varieties of bottled water, he inevitably shifted to calorie-high 'flavoured' varieties that may as well be soda, once again demonstrating his inability to learn from previous mistakes. The series has surpassed a hundred episodes, money which I'm sure was well spent on a 'fuck you' to genuinely concerned people.

## Reception

The Food Lessons are readily identifiable by their inability to receive upwards of around twenty views per video.

Around the peak of these videos, Matrixlord claimed to receive messages from family who were concerned with his health. This led to an astonishing display of mental gymnastics. Justifications included:

* Claiming that he has a different metabolism to everybody else on the planet, necessitating the quantity of junk food he ingests. This included the now infamous line 'a donut to me is like an M&M to everyone else!'
* Denying that he actually ate what he did, claiming to often 'leave most of it in the fridge for later'.
* Claiming that he was burning off the junk food by drinking huge amounts of water.
* Claiming that he was burning off the junk food by doing lots of walking (presumably to shops to buy more junk food).
* Claiming that he weighs a healthy 200lbs, despite this putting his BMI into the 'obese' category for his height range.

Strangely enough, he has recently started brushing off the criticism by suggesting people were only 'looking at the Sparknotes summary' of his life. Unfortunately for Matrixlord however, obesity is not something one can delist, block or accuse of being a troll.