LeanCo.

> "*Wassup guys, It's the Moist Man here. That's right and guess what? I'm delivering an absolute banger of a sponsor. Recently, I've become very fond of LeanCo. and they're products. They just grab ahold of your nutsack and never let go. I'm telling you, they deliver all over the place. Great variety from cars, to drinks, to literally anything else. You have a wet dream about something? Guess what? They sell it. So go on down and get some good ol' products at Lean Company. Who knows? You might get bigger cock and your boobs might grow a little bit though. And that's about it. Cya.*"
>
>
> **- Charlie from MoistCritikal**
>
> LeanCo
> ------
>
>
>
>
> LeanCo. Logo
>
>
> ### Name
>
>
> LeanCo.
>
>
> ### Aliases
>
>
> Lean Company
>  Lean Corporations
>  Purple-Nurple
>  LeanCo. Automotives
>  LC Automotives
>
>
>
>
> Members
> -------
>
>
>
> ### Chief Executive Officer
>
>
> Eminem's Salsa
>
>
> ### Assistant
>
>
> AWSM
>
>
> ### L.S.S (LeanCo. Secret Service)
>
>
> TheTriplets268
>  PaciXIII
>
>
> ### Head of Legal Team
>
>
> JoeLemonade (Formerly)
>  TheEgghead27
>
>
> ### Head of Culinary Team
>
>
> The Pencil Cunts
>
>
> ### Misc. Employees
>
>
> 42,000 unnamed employees
>
>
>
> Affiliation and Idenity
> -----------------------
>
>
>
> ### Identity
>
>
> Public
>
>
> ### Allies
>
>
> The U.S Government
>  PepsiCo.
>  Mars Wrigley
>  Toho Co.
>  Ltd.
>  Kellogg's, Nike
>  F1
>  Starbucks
>  Sony
>  Yum! Brands Inc.
>  Hot Ones
>
>
> ### Enemies
>
>
> DEA
>  JoeLemonade
>  Coffee
>
>
>
> Origins and Status
> ------------------
>
>
>
> ### Origin
>
>
> Started as a drink in Rockside Cafe
>
>
> ### Status
>
>
> Closed
>
>
> ### Universe
>
>
> Current Universe
>
>
> ### Base of Operations
>
>
> LeanCo. Headquarters (formerly Apple Park)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> LeanCo. is an American-owned drink manufacturing company. Currently headquartered in the former Apple Park (now renamed "LeanCo. Headquarters"), the company's current President and Chief Executive is Eminem's Salsa.
>
>

## History

### "Humble" Beginnings

In the middle of February, the I LOVE LEAN!! broke the internet. Curious, Em created a recipe for the sizzurp and he saw money in the future. He called the Café into his room and unconsentually assigned them positions. They used the basement as a factory. They then started selling it in the Cafe. Em started thinking of names for his new company. He then came up with a fitting name: Purple-Nurple. Nobody liked it so he kept thinking

### Growing in the Game

As people caught wind of the new drink around town, sales skyrocketed, and the Cafe started selling nothing but Purple-Nurple. As it grew, Em began thinking of moving base. He scoured the internet until he found a good location: Apple Park. One day, the cafe got raided and the employees of Purple-Nurple got taken to the country's capital to speak with the president. Mr. President explained how they're drink had gotten so popular; it was starting to affect the community negatively. After a long discussion, Em was able to convince Mr. President that Purple-Nurple is nothing but a positive to America. They were soon sipping on drinks and laughing about the future. Purple-Nurple then strolled out of the White House with a pardon from Mr. President. They then walked up to Apple and had a nice civil conversation about acquiring the land to build their new headquarters and they came to an agreement that all employees that worked at Apple Park now worked for Purple-Nurple. Feeling good about this new arrangement Em then came up with a new name for his company: LeanCo.

### Now

Since then, LeanCo. has made partnerships with many well-known and loved companies such as Hersheys and Sony. They've made 21 billion sales. They're still coming out with new products. They've even made their own vehicles. For now, LeanCo. is still growing and thriving

## Products Developed

* Original Purple-Nurple Lean - The first and best selling product in LeanCo. Tastes like grape
* Strawberry Sizzurp Lean - The second flavor Lean made. Taste like Strawberries
* Lemon-Lime Slime Lean - Lemon-Lime flavored Lean
* Tangy Orange Lean - Orange flavored Lean
* Cherry Tonic - Cherry flavored Lean
* Default Vanilla Lean - Vanilla flavored Lean. Made to compensate Trips request of "cum lean."
* Ginger Ale Lean - Ginger Ale flavored LeanCo. Least selling product in LeanCo.
* Limited Edition Tropical Paradise Lean - Fruit Punch flavored Lean. Discontinued

* Dragonfruit Slurpee Lean - Dragonfruit flavored Lean. Made to just play around with flavors but ended up so good, LeanCo. decided to release it to the public
* Sparkling Bomb Lean - 4th of July themed Lean. Taste like Ice Pops
* Autumn Apple Cider Lean - Fall themed Lean
* Spooky Peanut Butter Lean - Halloween themed Lean. Em describes it as "Reese's peanut butter cups but better"
* Festive Hot Chocolate - Chocolate flavored Lean. LeanCo. suggests warming up the drink in the microwave for 1 minute before drinking to get the full hot-chocolate experience
* RetroBerry - Blue Raspberry flavored Lean built off of a recipe from the 1980s. Only sold in a few states as the drink contains hallucinogens

* Purple-Nurple LeanCo. VENOM Energy Drink - Purple-Nurple flavored energy drink

* Purple-Nurple LeanCo. Tea - Purple-Nurple flavored tea

* LeanCo. Brews Harvest Mango Beer - Beer that taste like mangoes
* LeanCo. Brews Golden Pineapple Beer - Beer that tastes like pineapples
* LeanCo. Brews Sour Lime Beer - Still in develop after it was found out that it was so acidic that it eats through concrete

* Cinnamon LeanCo. DIABLO - Spicy Lean. Recommended that you don't drink 2 in a row and instead wait until the intense burn feeling on your tongue goes away

* LeanCo. Custards Purple-Nurple - Ice cream that taste like Purple-Nurple
* LeanCo. Custards Strawberry Sizzurp - Strawberry Sizzurp flavored ice cream
* LeanCo. Custards Premium Chocolate & Caramel - Chocolate ice cream drizzled with caramel. Contains alcohol

* LeanCo. Purple-Nurple Spread - Purple-Nurple flavored. Has a peanut butter consistancy

* Silky Smooth Caramel Lean - A partnership drink with Silk Sonic. Taste like caramel. Has a chocolate milk consistancy
* Cotton Candy Lean - A partnership drink with Doja Cat. Taste like cotton candy. Has the normal LeanCo. soda-type consistancy

* Pepsi Flavored Lean - LeanCo-made drink that tastes like Pepsi
* Purple-Nurple Flavored Pepsi - Pepsi-made drink that tastes like Purple-Nurple
* Rainbow Rush Skittles Lean - Partnership drink with Skittles.
* LeanCo. Ligonberry Nishikigoi Lean - Partnership drink with Swedish Fish.
* LeanCo. Starbucks Lean Collection - Group of LeanCo-made drinks that mimic Starbucks' Coffee
* LeanCo. Purple-Nurple Frosted Flakes - Purple-Nurple flavored Frosted Flakes
* LeanCo. Purple-Nurple PopTarts - Purple-Nurple flavored Pop-Tarts
* LeanCo. Purple-Nurple Hersheys Bar - Purple-Nurple flavored Hersheys Bar

* Nike Lean Stomper 5000s - Partnership with Nike. Light purple Jordans with a darker purple Lean pattern wrapped around the bottom of the shoe.
* Taco Bell Lean Supreme Meal - Partnership with Taco Bell. Taco dipped in the Taco Purple-Nurple sauce mix with Lean Fries and a Purple Nurple Lean
* LeanCo. Hot Ones: The Last Dab; INFERNO Hot Sauce - Partnership with Hot Ones. Purple-Nurple flavored hot sauce. Ranks 723,203 on the Scoville Scale
* LeanCo. PlayStation 4 & PlayStation 5 Lean Cover - Partnership with Sony. LeanCo. designed panels that are meant to clip onto the PS4 & PS5 for customization

* GasoLean - LeanCo. had an idea for hydrogen Lean. But when that didn't work out, they decided to scrap the idea and repurpose the Lean into fuel to power their hydrogen vehicles
* 2023 Valkyrie D34 - A rear-engine, hydrogen luxury sports car manufactured in 2022. Runs on GasoLean exclusively made by LeanCo. Top speed 335mph
* 2024 Panther GT - A front-engine, hydrogen muscle car set to launch in 2023. Made to compete with models such as Ford Mustangs & Chevrolet Corvettes

## Trivia

* LeanCo.'s original name was Purple-Nurple
* LeanCo. Pet Food existed at one time but was taken off of shelves because of low sales
* LeanCo. was a placeholder name for something better but it ended up sticking so it did
* LeanCo. has plans to make the hottest drink in the world