Season 4.5 Episode 8: Wolverines of Doom

Your sis will make us fam

Drew has a special request for GTA 6 Online players, Nate finds a magic book telling the tale of two evil rulers and the six heroes that must defeat them...Plus, comedian Chrissy Mayr and El Presidonkay Ross Patterson stop by for some Donkey2Donkey.

## Episode Summary

The hosts have a complicated relationship. Fantastic fables, future shows and Government grants are discussed. ClayneCast is hitting it's stride again!

After some initial quarreling and taking the piss, Drew reads a really long thing (almost 7 minutes) about proselytizing in a game that isn’t even coming out until 2025.

In this episode, Nate sees many animals. During the recording, two pigeons fly into his home studio. And earlier, he was at the library and saw a white hawk chasing a blue bunny. When the hawk caught the bunny, it turned into a mysterious book. He was intrigued and went to check it out. He then proceeds to read the entire first chapter of this book, called “Wolverines of Doom”. The tale interestingly details a bunch of CCU lore. It takes over ten minutes and should be listened to in its entirety without pause. Details can be found below.

Later, they discuss the show and how horrible it is.

Near the end, the hosts discuss if the ClayneCast is a Canadian show, which it seems to be. This opens them up to receiving government funding that Drew is going to apply for ASAP.

Tom reveals in this episode that he thought Season 3 of Lethal Weapon was the worst thing he's watched. It's even worse than Houdini and Doyle, which he says is better because at least it's quieter.

To wrap it up, Nate and Tom harass Drew, and the episode ends. Everyone is looking forward to the next chapter of *The Wolverines of Doom*!

### Show Recap

The episode got mixed reviews. Tom loved it, Drew and Nate not so much. They don't talk about the episode until about 40 minutes in. The greatest issue they have is that Houdini, the famed magician, doesn't do any magic tricks! The comment section on Wildabouthoudini.com, including Meredith and David Saltman, agrees.

> "*In Houdini & Doyle episode 8, "Strigoi," Dracula author Bram Stoker is at the center of vampiric mystery and horror story. But it's the ending that will give Houdini fans with the biggest shock. First, the mystery...*
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> *Vampires! Or rather, Vanatoarea, those who hunt vampires, are now hunting those who glorify vampires, and there's no greater offender than Bram Stoker (Paul Ritter). Stoker seeks the help of his good friend, Arthur Conan Doyle, when the murder of his maid raises the stakes (wooden and otherwise)*"
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> #### From wildabouthoudini.com
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At one point in the episode, Bram Stoker lists some tell-tale signs of a vampire to highlight how he is certainly NOT one. Like summoning an army of rats. This inspires Tom to ask the others, if they could have one Dracula power, which one would it be?

Which Dracula power would you like to have
 Nate
 Tom

### Host Ratings

**Episode 8 "Strigoi" - Host ratings**
 Tom
 Drew

## Notable quotes

### Tom

* "Dramedy-vale, right?"
* "We don't have any momentum. In fact, watching this show is putting everyone in such a bad mood. We've been toxic to each other."
* "Buckle up!"
* "They're not ruining his [Bram Stokers] good name, because nobody has seen this show."

### Nate

* "You are the worst. You're the absolute worst out of everybody on this fuckin' show. You are truly the worst. You're an awful awful awful man." (about his bestie Drew)
* "Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom...Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom Tom Tom. Tom. Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom. Tom."
* "Do Wolverines howl?"
* "Okay, his last name is Stoker, so let's just, let's...is his last name Stoker? Now you got *me* fucked up!"
* "You both look very handsome today, I love you both."

### Drew

* "There's something about those three characters that I like."
* "We're just takin' the piss, it's allowed! Don't have a cow, man! As Bart Simpson would say."
* "What if I told you...Bram Stroker had a stroker."
* "This is a Canadian made production." (about ClayneCast)
* "Okay, I'll look into it. We'll get a Government grant for ClayneCast."

## Wolverines of Doom

Sometime before the recording of this episode, Nate came across an interesting book about a magical kingdom filled with love, intrigue and donkeys, entitled "Wolverines of Doom". About 17 minutes into episode, he reads the first chapter which takes the form of an prologue.

### Prologue recap

*(Note: Obviously, the story is much more complex than a mere wiki could capture. So be sure to listen to the entire thing! It starts around 17 minutes into the episode.)*

The story begins hundreds of years ago, in a realm far, far away, split into north and south kingdoms. The people of the north had become fed up with their ruler, the Donkey king Rosserson. Rosserson in turn had a great disdain for the people he ruled over. They would never see his plays he kept putting on, spending a great deal of the family fortune on this doomed endeavor. The people would only make it through the day by drinking large amounts of ale. Donkey king Rosserson decided to capitalize on this by replacing all the ale with HARD AF Seltzer, which was so horrid to the people that they just gave up drinking entirely, thus becoming truly miserable.

In the south, the land of the Lingles, King Lingle ruled the people with an iron fist. He enforced his will through a brutal military force called the Stoned Raiders. They would dig multiple holes, and force the people to live in these holes, all in the kingdoms back yard. When the old Queen, his Grandma died, he took over the Kingdom. He was a nasty man, rapping freestyles that none of the people could understand, audibly or semantically. This would enrage him, so he tortured them in retaliation.

The only entertainment the people had was stick figure cave art, that King Lingle stole from nearby caves, claiming to have made them himself. He often would (accidentally) let racoons into the castle that have killed several prospective queens, leading King Lingle to remain unwed. But just when all hope seemed lost, he discovered a beautiful woman that was starring in one of the Donkey Kings plays, which he had funded and sent to be performed for his friend, King Lingle. She had ratty read hair, gigantic gums and googly eyes - it was none other than the sister of the Donkey King himself!

King Lingle instantly asked for her hand in marriage and famously said "*Your sis, will make us fam.*" Donkey King Rosserson, financially ruined and despised by his people, agreed to it in hopes of saving his own hide. But upon the merging of the Kingdoms, all hell broke loose. Racoons ran amok, crops of sticky-icky hemp got spoiled, and the people of the CCU were forced to hear the cackling hee-ing and haw-ing of the newlyweds, echoing throughout the kingdom day in, day out.

But in one small town, a resistance to the tyrants was brewing.

Under the cover of a raunchy brothel, three unlikely allies would meet, a purple one, a red one and an orange one - each with their own special abilities and strengths. Brought together by a mysterious White Witch and Blue Dream Catcher, who invaded all the dreams and Phantasies of the CCU to find suitable heroes.

In the basement of the brothel, under the cover of raucous lovemaking, its three owners (also known as the three pimps) trained incessantly to become strong enough to one day defeat King Lingle and Donkey King Rosserson.

The mysterious Dreamcatcher and the White WItch would unite the three pimps with the mysterious fighters together to defeat their evil rulers, and imparted a special name onto them; The Wolverines of Doom.

*(To be continued)*

### Factions

#### The North - The Donkey Kingdom

Donkey King Rosserson - Tyrannical and unfunny despot

Donkey King's Sister aka the Donkey Queen - King Lingle's love interest

The evil witch - a nefarious sorceress with crunchy black hair

Wolfley and Estivy - The evil witches two guard dogs

#### The South - The Lingle Kingdom

King Lingle - Thrust into a position of power after the death of his grandmother. Quiet, mumbling, scheming.

The Stoned Raiders - brutal enforces of King Lingles will

#### The Resistance

##### The magical beings

The White Witch - powerful spellbinder

The Blue Dream Catcher - invades dreams to feed, together with the White Witch gives the heroes their new name

##### The Brothel Staff

The Wench - A man who the whole town loves

The Priest - A joyful priest, his special power is his tornado tongue

##### The Mysterious Fighters

The Purple one - a muscular rock-breaker, joined by his ratty black dog

The Orange one - a mysterious Knight with the ability to disappear and reappear

The Red one - a jester known for his red mullet and very cool clothes. Quick tempered, angered by people who don't understand his jokes

##### The three Pimps

Wimpy T - takes long vacations despite not knowing how to ride a horse

Simpy D - known for locking and unlocking doors and various "other" contraptions

Shrimpy N - definitely 5'10", has the ability to shrink down to almost ant-like size and back to normal again

## Trivia

We got rid of Racism when Houdini and Doyle solved it in the episode with the Aliens. But then Donald Trump brought it back.

Bram Stoker was called **Abraham Stoker**. Next to Dracula he also created characters called Grizzly Dick and Miss Gimp, quite the sweaty names.

If you come up with something in America, then it's an American Idea, no matter where you are from.

The word "Necromanteion" is pronounced as "Ne-kro-man-tay-on." The Necromanteion was an ancient Greek temple dedicated to necromancy devoted to Hades and Persephone, located on the banks of the Acheron river.

In the episode, Bram Stoker wears some very cool sunglasses that are sometimes called "Railway Spectacles" or Victorian Sunglasses.

The episode title, "Strigoi", is a word derived from Romanian folklore and mythology, where it refers to a type of reanimated corpse that is believed to be able to rise from the grave and haunt the living. Strigoi are often compared to vampires, as they are said to suck the blood of their victims at night to sustain themselves. In some legends, strigoi are living people with certain magical properties.

This episodes artwork is a picture of Chrissie Mayr.

## Get to know your Host(s)

Nate continues to be 5 foot 10 inches tall, even without shoes or standing on anything.

## Donkey2Donkey

Chrissie Mayr and Ross Patterson call in to have a talk, but they end up making an ass of themselves and the whole segment has to be stopped prematurely.

## Locker Room Talk

Was not recorded this week because Nate didn't show up. Or something. It was Nate's fault whatever the reason.

## Freaky Figures

Drew reads the GTA 6 proclamation from 7:05 to 13:57, which is 6 minutes and 52 seconds.

Nate reads the first chapter of The Wolverines of Doom from 17:38 to 29:01 or 11 minutes and 23 seconds.

## Clayne Fore-Casting

The hosts are very excited for the next episode, where Houdini and Doyle seem to go to Canada.

CCE will acquire the rights to and produce season 2 of Houdini and Doyle.

A The Wolverines of Doom movie will be made.