Seth's Letters

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These are entries in Seth's personal journal he keeps. His journal is a coping mechanism and also aids his memory. It's a worn out leather bound book with an abundance of pages that was made by his late father, it can usually be found hiding under his bed or in a drawer. He typically writes in it before he goes to bed every night, and it contains many songs and doodles, but below are written entries only related to Big Team episodes. Most of his journal entries now take the form of letters, sometimes sent and sometimes unsent.

# Season 4

### **How to Make Friends [Something Wicked (S4E11)]**

[There’s a letter in a plain white envelope addressed to “Ellen” in permanent marker, and the letter itself is written on squared graph paper. Attached is a tiny wood sculpture that’s a little smaller than a hand and seems to resemble a cat with bat ears and wings wearing a spiked leather jacket and sunglasses. There’s also a white cassette tape with “How to Make Friends” written on it in permanent marker, and a small bouquet of white and pink lilies wrapped in brown kraft paper that has a tiny skull drawn on it, presumably to make it less weird.]

Hey,
Sorry if this is super awkward or corny or whatever. I really suck at saying things in person and I figured it’d be better to just dump it all in a letter.
I don’t remember exactly what I said when we first met. I don’t know if you do, or how much those words have been twisted both for you and me since then. But I do remember the feeling I had. And the feeling I wanted to convey, despite everything.
When we met I was terrified. Solely because...I had this vivid understanding that we’re really similar. This person I’d had so much hatred for once existed as someone fucking just like me. Exactly like me. And I could see...how she fell. How I could fall. And when I talked to you...I felt like I was desperately trying to save you but...also myself somehow. That if I could somehow give you a second chance maybe I’d deserve one too. It wasn’t some lofty bullshit or playing hero- it was just projecting and selfish. And I guess I wasn’t ready to face the fact that what I did there actually put you here. That someone as stupid and insignificant as me could spout things at someone and change their life. And I...couldn’t really face you.
But I want to move past that. It’s not your fault- and I’m sorry it took me so long. Maybe none of this makes sense and it probably sounds extremely shitty and maybe you won’t want to talk to me again, and that’s fine, whatever but, the other day made me realize I’m tired of running away and, maybe it’s not really my responsibility what happens to you, but I fucking care and you’ve already come so far. You’ve come so fucking far and I meant it when I said you’ve already changed. I don’t really want to sit on the sidelines anymore. I don’t really know how to get through to people or how to make a difference, even if I already have but, I want to be able to be there for you at least, if you want it, even if the responsibility is just in my head- it’s not just that. It’s not that you need me or anything or whatever but...I think you’re cool. I think you’re good. I think you’re so fucking good. And I...guess this is where I say I really want to be your friend.
So...second chances right?
Seth
P.S. Sorry if it looks weird I really wasn’t sure how to combine a cat and a bat and still make it look cute. Please don’t show Carm
P.P.S Sorry if the flowers are weird I work at a flower shop now sort of and flowers are nice these say sorry and also thank you
P.P.P.S I forgot to tell you your dye job rocks. Sorry if that’s weird. Also I’ve always loved your bike even if I’ve trashed it a few times. I’m also trying to get a license I guess.
P.P.P.P.S Sorry the mixtape has like 2 songs about love I swear I don’t mean it like that just pretend certain lyrics don’t exist their just good songs also here’s a youtube link and a spotify link if you don’t have a cassette player sorry I wrote them out instead of just texting you [the links are written out]