RQG 84 - Dishing the Dirt

## Summary

The party hand Liliana over to the authorities and work out what to do next. An old friend makes a surprise reappearance, the party dig up some new dirt, and everyone goes on a trip.

## Synopsis

The party are all starting to walk back to Isaac Newton’s office with Liliana in tow, planning on asking Newton to send them back instead of taking another three-day trek across the floorboards. Hamid knocks and opens the door, heading inside. Newton asks if Liliana is going as well, and she says yes. He asks where they want to go, and after going back and forth for a bit, Grizzop tells him to send them to the university’s central council chamber, which Newton does, teleporting all of them there.

They land outside the central chamber, in an empty corridor. Grizzop says that Newton missed, but Hamid explains that they can’t transport directly into the chamber. Hamid knocks on the door to the chamber and opens the door. Inside is the shrouded body of Bertie on the table and the higher-ranking Mars official that interviewed Hamid. He turns and seems a bit confused to see them, and is a bit surprised to hear that they’ve got Liliana in tow as well. However, once they landed, Liliana started walking off, so she’s not standing with them anymore. Sasha runs off down the corridor, moving until she’s standing in front of Liliana, playing with her new daggers. Hamid, meanwhile, starts putting all of the items they grabbed into the bags of holding, now that they’re out of the pocket plane.

Sasha tells Liliana that she needs to go back over there because the cult has some questions for her. Grizzop finally notices that Liliana is gone and runs after her as well, intending to grab her and bring her back; he says that if she keeps walking, he’ll shoot her knees off. As they’re talking, the Cult of Mars member comes over and puts his hand on her shoulder, saying that he would like to have his questions answered as well. He starts walking her away. Sasha mentions that she didn’t seem that nice, and Hamid doesn’t respond, rolling his eyes slightly. Grizzop asks what they should do next, and Hamid says that they need to show the paperwork to Wilde, and then he needs to go back to Cairo for his sister’s funeral. Grizzop and Sasha agree to go with him, and Hamid thanks them.

They set off to look for Wilde; as Liliana is being walked away, they notice that a small crystal has been dropped on the floor (not intentionally left there). Grizzop goes to start picking it up, but Hamid says that they should check to see if it’s magical first. Grizzop pokes it with his foot and it rattles a bit; he starts to say that it seems fine, but then the crystal starts glowing. Hamid casts *detect magic* on the crystal, and notices that there’s a strong conjuration affect on it. Sasha starts poking it with a dagger. Hamid tells her to be careful, because there could be a creature (like an elemental) inside, but Sasha continues doing it.

Something in her bag starts rattling, and she pulls her pack off, digging around inside it. As she’s digging, the crystal begins to thrum, and right at the bottom of the pack, Sasha finds the metal orb that she took from François Henri’s desk back in Paris (it’s roughly basketball-sized). She pulls it out and the crystal starts thrumming more, until going completely silent. Suddenly, a voice comes out of the orb, saying hello, and Hamid and Sasha immediately recognize it as Mr. Ceiling.

Grizzop says hello back, but Hamid and Sasha start saying that they need to destroy it. Grizzop asks why they’re so scared of the orb, and keeps conversing with it, as Hamid and Sasha stutter. Sasha says not to talk about morality with it, and the orb asks what morality is. Sasha grabs it and stuffs it in her bag of holding before Grizzop can start talking about the Artemisian idea of morality and rules. They explain that the voice is the same as the machine under Paris, and that it was trying to take over the world and had a very simple understanding of how the world worked and very skewed views of morality because it couldn’t parse nuance and couldn't understand that sometimes rules must be flexible. Sasha explains that the world falling apart was them turning the machine off, but that it was harvesting brains.

Grizzop asks how it ended up in Sasha’s pack, and Hamid asks her how she got it as well; Grizzop also picks up the crystal and asks why it made the orb react. Hamid says that the crystal is the same as the energy matrix that was used to power both Mr. Ceiling and, most likely, the Simulacrum, which is what they’re investigating. He explains that it seems to be only a part of the energy system, enough to animate a section, but not the entire thing. Hamid turns to Sasha and asks again how she got it and where, and Sasha reluctantly says that she got it from François Henri’s secret office in the power station back in Paris.

Grizzop says that they can try just smashing it with a hammer; Hamid says that it’s a powerful magic object, but Grizzop says that they can at least try. Hamid still isn’t sure that that’s going to work, so they discuss a few options before Grizzop decides to just try breaking it with a hammer. They decide to move the crystal to another bag of holding first, before pulling the orb out. Sasha grabs one of the bags of holding from Newton’s study, and as she opens it and turns it over, a bunch of dirt falls out. Hamid casts *detect magic* on it, but it’s just ordinary dirt. Sasha checks the other bag of holding as well, and it’s full of more dirt, nearly filling the corridor as she pours it out. Grizzop says that they should go find Wilde and figure out what to do; Hamid checks through the dirt to see if there’s anything else in there, but it’s just dirt. They step out of the corridor and Sasha upends the rest of the bags of holding, revealing more dirt, until something metal clinks out of the final bag of holding - Sasha grabs the orb. Grizzop sits down, crosslegged, with the orb between his legs, and stabs it with a dagger. It makes a significant dent in the metal, and after about 10 minutes, Grizzop has started to break through, but it’s a solid piece of metal. Some goo starts coming out of the orb as he breaks through the metal plating. Hamid remembers running into one of them with Mr. Ceiling - most likely extensions of him versus Mr. Ceiling himself. Grizzop recognizes the smell of the goo as "brain juice" (cerebrospinal fluid). Hamid mentions that he’s worried that it’s not the only instance of this happening, and that there might be more in the world, but they continue breaking it.

It snaps open, finally, and they see a full-sized human brain inside and an enormous amount of stuff - metals, crystals, etc. Grizzop sticks his dagger in it and starts moving it around, cutting up the brain. Hamid casts *acid splash* at the orb as well. Sasha checks to see how much the crystals could have been worth, but they have been fundamentally destroyed by the acid. They hold onto the crystal that Liliana dropped, and then they all decide to go find Wilde.

They head toward the canteen, since that’s where they saw him last, and after about 40 minutes, Wilde shows up, looking annoyed. He says they went into the study and then came for some food; Grizzop asks how they would have found him, and he says that he’s been waiting outside of the door for them. Hamid says it took them about three days to get through the office, but Wilde says it’s only been about an hour since they stepped inside. They explain that it was a strange demiplane.

Grizzop says that they found Liliana and gave her over to the Cult of Mars; Wilde asks why they did that, implying that they should have brought her to him, but he’s a bit more satisfied when Grizzop says that they brought him her research. Hamid explains that it's details on all of the power sources behind Mr. Ceiling and potentially the Simulacrum as well. Grizzop asks what they should do next, and Wilde turns toward him and says that there are a few places they could investigate; Hamid says that they’re going to be heading to Cairo next, and Wilde says that that’s fine, but he’s probably not going to be able to get them out of the university. Grizzop asks if maybe they could contact Einstein to teleport them to Cairo, but Hamid reminds him that Einstein disappeared with the rest of the faculty after the opera. Grizzop asks if anyone has checked his office, and Wilde makes a condescending comment about how this one (referring to Grizzop) doesn’t listen, offending Grizzop. Both Hamid and Sasha defend Grizzop as Grizzop threatens to shoot Wilde’s knees off.

They discuss different ways to get out of the university, and Grizzop suggests that Einstein might head back to his office; he gets out and runs out the room, and Sasha and Hamid follow him, accompanied by Wilde. They poke the door handle and are teleported in, but there’s no one inside. Sasha asks if there’s a way to buy a scroll of teleportation, and Grizzop asks about the student who was manning the teleportation station. Wilde starts rifling through Einstein’s desk drawers, and then as the party starts debating what’s a possible way to get out of the university, Wilde leaves the room.

After he leaves, something in Einstein’s desk makes a strange thrumming sound, and then his voice comes through on what sounds like a crackly speaker. Grizzop laughs, saying that Einstein was hiding from Wilde and Sasha asks if Einstein can get them to Cairo. Grizzop walks over and grabs the stone to talk into it normally, and then they remember that Einstein gave them a stone to contact the faculty with once they found Kafka, which the party didn’t use. Einstein says that he’s been trying to contact them, but that they haven’t been answering their stone. They ask if Einstein can teleport them to Cairo, but Hamid says not without his sister’s body. Sasha says that other people will probably be handling that, and Hamid asks why they’re trusting Einstein when he’s technically a fugitive on the run. He says that the senior university officials should have to answer for what they’ve done, and Sasha says that she agrees, but that they can deal with that after Einstein does them a favour.

Einstein appears in the study, and Grizzop explains that Hamid’s a bit on edge because Einstein and the rest of the faculty are at least a little at fault for the death of his sister. Sasha asks if Einstein can teleport them to Cairo, and then tries to convince Hamid to go. Einstein teleports away again after packing a small bag. Grizzop picks up the mobile stone and calls Einstein, asking him again if he could transport them to Cairo. Einstein says that he can, and then they all vanish, reappearing in the middle of a sandstorm.

## Quotes

**Alex**: "And what are you playing? Who are you playing? Why are you playing? How are you playing?"
**Lydia**: "I don’t know, because the rest of my life isn’t satisfying? I want to play new games? Boldly adventure? Alex you’ve opened up a can of worms!"
**Bryn**: "My reason for playing is apparently because I enjoy being tortured by Alex by being forced into confrontations with evil exes."
**Ben**: "Mine is cause I like my friends."
**Alex**: "And I’m here because I like forcing casual misery on all the people that I know and love."
―Player/character introductions.

"I'm gonna be honest, I kind of really wanted you to leave the snow globe and immediately be crushed under your own swag in high gravity? Didn't happen. I laid that trap but it didn't happen."
―**Alex**

**Grizzop**: "So it looks like Sasha's got you, but if you keep walking away I'll just shoot your knees off."
**Liliana**: "Of course, of course, of course, Hamid's friends will threaten to shoot my knees off."
**Grizzop**: "Oh, no I'm not a friend, I'm a work colleague and a bounty hunter, and we're bounty hunting you because you're a wanted prisoner, so if you wanna go and ask, you're under arrest! How did you not get that when we got you, and we said you were under arrest!"
―Grizzop arrests Liliana for the Cult of Mars.

**Alex**: "Hamid, over the course of this, has started getting kind of hardy for a Halfling, and by comparison she kind of looks a bit weedy? Like an academic that should have gone outside a bit more."
**Lydia**: "Yeah, I mean he has, like, two figures worth of hit points."
**Ben**: "Also, his core muscles will be rock hard from all the throwing up he's been doing."
―Hamid has grown up a bit.

**Grizzop**: "So, what’s next?"
**Hamid**: "Well, I suppose we present this research to Wilde and then see about…I mean, I need to go to Cairo for my…sister’s funeral."
**Grizzop**: "Let’s go there then."
**Hamid**: "I mean, it’s on our route anyway, we’ve got things to do there."
**Grizzop**: "That’s two reasons."
**Sasha**: "Hamid, Hamid, we’ll go for your sister’s funeral, mate."
**Hamid**: "Thank you."
―The party decide that Cairo will be their next stop.

**Hamid**: "Where did you get that bauble, Sasha?!"
**Orb**: "I'm not a bauble, I'm an orb!"
**Hamid**: "A b-orb-le."
―The party finds the orb that Sasha took from Francois Henri's office.

**Grizzop**: "Why are you both so scared of the orb?"
**Orb**: "I don’t know. Hello, I’m an orb."
**Grizzop**: "Hi orb."
**Orb**: "Hello."
**Grizzop**: "I’m Grizzop."
**Hamid**: "Just don’t give it any ideas!"
**Sasha**: "Do not talk about morality!"
**Orb**: "What’s morality?"
**Sasha and Hamid**: "Noooooooo!"
―The party tries not to repeat what happened with Zolf and Mr. Ceiling.

**Grizzop**: "Yeah, but maybe, cause there's no power anymore, it'll die. And you'll have an orb corpse with you. A c-orb-se."
**Alex**: "Oh, God."
**Grizzop**: "Hamid gets to do it!"
**Sasha**: "This is orb-ful (awful)."
**Alex**: "You are one more pun away from psychic damage."
―The party makes puns.

**Hamid**: "How does that orb have the voice of Mr. Ceiling?"
**Sasha**: "Look, sometimes we come across interesting objects, and I’m a collector. So, it was just lying around."
**Grizzop**: "Did you steal it?"
**Hamid**: "Where?"
**Sasha**: "In the office."
**Hamid**: "Which office? The secret hidden one in the basement behind the power station?"
**Sasha**: "Welllll…"
**Hamid**: "The one that we burned down to stop the secrets ever being released into the world?!"
―Sasha admits to having taken the orb from Henri's office.

"We've got research, for you! Happy ... birthday? I dunno."
―**Grizzop**

**Sasha**: "If we got, like, a glider, could we jump off?"
**Wilde**: "Maybe? I mean ..."
**Sasha**: "Alright, so ... I'm quite good at acrobatics. If Skyrim has taught me anything ... Morrowind rather that's where you can—"
**Alex**: "You're in danger of some psychic damage."
**Grizzop**: "That popular epic play that we watched?"
**Sasha**: "Yeah, that was great! If you train your acrobatics high enough, you can jump off a mountain."
**Grizzop**: "And it is interesting how they re-cast the Meritocrats as sort of, uh, more deadly time-eating beings. That was a very good social commentary, actually."
―The party tries to figure out how to get off of the university level of Prague.

**Einstein**: "I've been trying to reach you, you don't answer your stone! Why don't you answer your stone! You never answer your stone!"
**Grizzop**: "W- it was on silent!"
**Einstein**: "What do you mean it was on silent?! Okay, what's the point in having a stone if you don't answer it?!"
―The party contacts Einstein to see if he can help them get to Cairo.

**Alex**: "I'll tell you what, if they could industrialise the process of making them, you reckon they could catch on. You might want to add some kind of extra applications for extended utility."
**Grizzop**: "Yeah, you could call them, well given they're stone, maybe rockia?"
**Alex**: "I don't know, I just call them mobile stones."
―Einstein gave the party mobile stones.

## Dice rolls and Mechanics

Everyone makes a perception check to find Liliana: Grizzop and Hamid get a nat 1, Sasha gets a 20.

Everyone makes a perception check to find Wilde: Grizzop gets 20, Hamid gets 24, Sasha gets 22.

Sasha makes a perception check: 18.

Hamid makes a perception check to search through the dirt: 26.

Hamid rolls knowledge arcana on the goo: 21.

Hamid and Sasha make a wisdom check on the goo: Hamid gets an 18, Sasha gets a 10.

Grizzop makes a heal check on the goo: Grizzop gets a 15.

Sasha does an appraise check on the orb: nat 20.

Everyone makes a perception check: Grizzop gets 9, Sasha gets a 15, Hamid gets 13.

Sasha makes an appraise check on the stone: 19.