100 Things Azuka Can't Do

## The 100 Things Azuka Can't Do, Written In Her POV

1. I will not try to dominate the world.
2. Because that goes against CHAOS COUNTDOWN values.
3. And if I try again, that stupid Shuurai Ayaka girl will find a way to defeat me again.
4. And defeat is a humiliation.
5. I will not swear in front of Reo.
6. She will hate me.
7. And she is supposed to WORSHIP me!!!
8. I will not scream loudly at 1 am.
9. Not even when I'm screaming about destroying the world.
10. Because then I wake up Reo.
11. See #6.
12. See #7.
13. I will not make fanart shipping Driller and Ashlyn.
14. Both girls will kill me.
15. And they will hate me more.
16. Even though they only have a one year age gap.
17. That's not fair!
18. Ashlyn is such a traitor.
19. I will not steal Elizabeta's rifle.
20. Even though she never uses it.
21. Oh, and the same goes for her frying pan.
22. So, Elizabeta will hit me on the head with that pan.
23. See #7.
24. I will not destroy Junna's buildings in Minecraft.
25. She will beat me up with her lawn scissors.
26. Or her peace prize.
27. See #7.
28. How did she get that peace prize in the first place???
29. I will not infiltrate Miyamasuzaka Girls' Academy.
30. See #2.
31. Though, that traitor gets to infiltrate the school all the time.
32. See #17.
33. I will not lay even a FINGER on Junna's spoiled little sister.
34. Junna will kill me, or at least see #25.
35. See #26.
36. I will not beat up Aogiri.
37. See #34.
38. I will not bully Yumeno Miyuki.
39. Even though it's fun.
40. She will send her pathetic magical friends to try and defeat me.
41. See #17.
42. I will not declare war on Kokone.
43. If I do, Kokone will try to obliterate me.
44. So, that means I will try to obliterate her.
45. By the way, we have enough machinery to obliterate each other and more!
46. But there is always the chance I will get defeated.
47. See #4.
48. I will not hack Kokone's computer.
49. She will scream at me until I stop.
50. See #17.
51. I will not sabotage the football game.
52. See #43.
53. Why does she like football so much anyways???
54. I will not sing Kirai! Kirai! Jigahidai! from 12 am to 6 am.
55. See #34.
56. Also, see #6.
57. Oh, and then Aogiri will yell at me.
58. I will not sneak into Aogiri and Ayase's apartment room.
59. Even though they live next door to me.
60. See #56.
61. I will not sneak to any places I am underage for.
62. Even though age limits are stupid.
63. And I rule, so I can go anywhere!!
64. I cannot call myself "God of the Universe."
65. Even though I am.
66. I will not play the drink challenge with Driller.
67. See #22.
68. See #62.
69. I will not make ANY jokes about this number.
70. This rule has been removed because it is inappropriate for minors under the age of eighteen (18).
71. I will not hang out with Kuro.
72. Even though she is easy to manipulate.
73. Kanade will obliterate me.
74. I won't let her obliterate me!
75. I will not hang out with Setsuna anymore.
76. See #72-74.
77. I will not steal any goulash from Elizabeta's house.
78. Even though it is delicious.
79. I will not steal any chicken fingers from Kentucky Fried Chicken under any circumstances.
80. See #78.
81. I will not beat up Kokone.
82. See #43.
83. And as you know, obliteration is never fun.
84. I will not try to liberate my apartment from Yoisaki occupation.
85. Kokone will occupy it again.
86. I will not try to occupy Kokone's mansion.
87. Even though it is beautiful.
88. But Kokone wants to win and won't let me occupy it.
89. See #17.
90. But it'd be fair if I occupy it.
91. I will not plagiarize the dictionary.
92. Even though it is public property.
93. But it belongs to Kokone.
94. See #43.
95. I will not drive my tank to school.
96. See #2.
97. Even though people love my tank.
98. They adore me, of course!
99. I WILL follow every single one of these rules, and I understand that disobeying federal law will result in cruel, degrading, and inhumane treatment and/or obliteration from Kokone.
100. Screw #99.

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From, the God of the Universe, or The Awesome Azuka

REPRINTS ARE FORBIDDEN!!!! YOU HEAR ME KOKONE???

## References

1. ↑ CHAOS COUNTDOWN wants to RULE the world, not destroy it!!
2. ↑ This is a reference to how Ashlyn was a former Azuka worshipper, but quit after she met Driller.
3. ↑ Azuka likes easy targets.
4. ↑ Azuka loves chicken fingers :P