Episode 23: Titan of Earth (Tales From the Crick)

**Titan of Earth** is the twenty-third episode in the series and the second episode of Tales From the Crick.

It's the Band of Boobs vs. the Sultan of Stone! Hardwon attempts to prove his dominance of the mountain, Moonshine pushes her luck with a risky sneak attack, and Beverly lives up to his reputation of being sassy in the sky.

 Plot Synopsis

### **You Know What They Say About Stone**

The episode begins with Hardwon asking the Earth Titan for help, but it fails. The Earth Titan demands Hardwon bows to him, and slams his fist down in order to drop the human to his knees. Hardwon makes a Dexterity Saving Throw but fails, and drops to his knees. He tries to convince the Earth Titan that he’s a fan of rocks, and reveals his dwarven pickaxe. The titan takes this as a challenge, and turns his arm into a hammer. He bashes his arm into the wall and asks Hardwon if he can do better. Moonshine casts Earth Tremor to make Hardwon’s pickaxe attack on the wall seem more powerful than it actually is. Hardwon has no idea that Moonshine helped, and believes he was fully capable of doing that alone. Impressed, the titan makes Hardwon a wager: If Hardwon beats him in a fair fight he’ll grant him his powers, but if he loses he must join the collection of petrified warriors.

### **The Logistical Battle**

 Hardwon readies himself to fight, and Moonshine plans to cast a Ray of Enfeeblement on the Earth Titan, and Beverly plans to cast Shield of Faith. As a distraction, Moonshine first casts Infestation so her Ray of Enfeeblement might go unnoticed. She rolls a 17 to create a horde of bugs which confounds the titan. She then decides to sneak behind the titan and successfully passes him. Next, she makes a Ranged Spell Attack and successfully casts her ray. Beverly casts Shield of Faith on Hardwon.

The titan becomes angered now that Hardwon has betrayed their trust, and the group rolls initiative: Earth Titan **Nat 20**, Ol’ Cobb 18, Moonshine 16, Hardwon 5, Beverly 3.

### **Round 1**

The Earth Titan charges at Hardwon, and hits for 9 (halved to 4), and hits again for 5. He rolls a Constitution Save and overcomes the Ray of Enfeeblement. A lair action is used and scarabs creep out from the walls, covering Hardwon. He makes a Constitution Saving Throw, but fails, and is bitten for 25 damage, knocking him down. Ol’ Cobb Runs out from the shadows, and hits for 4 damage, misses, and uses a bonus action to do an extra 6 damage. Moonshine casts Healing Spirit to create the Spectral Paw Paw, and attacks but misses. She casts it at third level, so it heals for 2d6. Spectral Paw Paw heals Hardwon for 8 hp. He stands and hits for 9, and then again for 18. Lastly, he uses his Second Wind to restore 1d10+6 hp. Beverly casts Aid, which grants the others +5 hp and +5 max hp for 8 hours.

### **Round 2**

The Earth Titan attacks Hardwon again, and misses twice. Angered by Hardwon’s cockiness, he stomps on the ground and collapses the roof in. Hardwon rolls a **Crit Fail** but expends a Lucky point, but still fails. He takes 18 damage and is pinned beneath a boulder, knocking him prone. Ol’ Cobb runs over and drop kicks the boulder off Hardwon. Moonshine has Spectral Paw Paw squirt out more milk for both Hardwon and Ol’ Cobb. She then attempts to knock rock from the titan’s body, but fails, dealing 21 (halved to 10) damage. Lastly, she stage dives into the Spectral Paw Paw area to heal. Hardwon glances at Bev’s amulet for half hit dice + his con modifier. He then attacks twice, missing firstly but hitting secondly. He activates his Action Surge, dealing a total of 27 damage. Beverly casts Protection from Evil and Good on Hardwon, breaking Shield of Faith, but giving him resistance to elementals (the Earth Titan now rolls with disadvantage against him). Lastly, Bev uses his whetstone on Hardshine, igniting the blade with green energy.

### **Round 3**

 The Earth Titan attacks twice, missing Hardwon, but hitting Moonshine. He deals 11 damage to her. Then, he turns his other fist into a hammer, slamming both fists on the ground. Hardwon, Moonshine, and Ol’ Cobb roll Dex Saves to stay standing, and they all save. Ol’ Cobb attacks twice, hitting once for 10 (halved to 5) damage. Moonshine reveals the Green Teen gift bag to try to convince the titan of their reasoning to be there, but he calls her bullshit. She instead casts a 2nd level Cure Wounds on Hardwon, and heals him for 10hp. The two both also take a drink from Spectral Paw Paws nipples. Hardwon attacks, hitting for 13 damage, and then hitting again for 11 damage. Bev casts Hold Person, which succeeds and paralyzes the titan.

### **Round 4**

The Earth Titan breaks from Hold Person, and then uses his Cave Action. Scarabs swarm Hardwon again, but he fails his Con Save, and uses his Lucky feat to reroll. He saves on his second try and takes half damage for 9. Ol’ Cobb hits twice with his gun for 20 (halve to 10) total damage. Moonshine attacks with Chill Touch and rolls a **Nat 20**, making it 4d8 damage. She deals 22 damage and finishes the Earth Titan.

### **Up and Away**

The Earth Titan reforms after being defeated, and comes back in a smaller form. He blesses Hardwon with The Vitality of Earth. The group then rests in the Earth Temple for a few hours to prepare for the next day.

The BoB ask the Earth Titan who they should fight next, and he lifts them into the sky using rocks so they can fight his sister, the Air Titan. The group now stands on a raised platform about 40-100ft above the mountains, and face the Air Temple, described as looking similar to St. Basil’s Cathedral, up ahead. Directly above a glowing green sphere floats in the sky, matching an identical one inside the temple. The BoB must advance past a grid of platforms in order to reach the temple, and avoid the strong gusts of wind that are coming toward them.

The BoB decides to go for the floating green orb that hangs about 30ft above them in the air. Hardwon considers throwing Bev up, but the wind nearly whisks him away. Beverly instead misty steps upwards, and pulls out his umbrella to glide to the orb, but it turns inside out. He falls toward the orb and slaps it, turning it red. This changes the wind direction upwards, and the group uses a rope to reel Bev back toward them. Ol’ Cobb shoots the orb, turning it white, and a gust of wind blows left. Moonshine casts Produce Flame on the orb, turning it blue, and sending a gust of wind right. She then casts Infestation on the orb, turning it green, causing the wind to blow downwards again. She casts Chilled Touch, which causes the orb to turn red again. She fires off Chill Touch enough times to get back to red once more, and Hardwon jumps into the wind stream, picking him up to the middle platform. He lands on it, the orb turns white, and he takes the wind left. He lands on another platform, turning the orb blue, and knocking him off 90ft for 28 damage. The group takes time to consider the pattern they must use, and Hardwon learns he must trust the gust. He tries again, and Moonshine uses Chill Hand to get him successfully to the temple steps. The others follow him across and arrive at the Air Temple.

### **Inside The Air Temple**

They enter to find a floating marble platform where they are greeted by the Air Elemental. She tells them it is impolite to not bow, and tries to make them bow. The BoB has to make a Dex Save to stay standing, and all except Hardwon do (Beverly rolls a Nat 20). Beverly mocks the queen, suggesting she farted, to which she whips four tornados toward them. The BoB roll Dex Saves and all but Cobb break free of the tornado. Cobb is dragged out into the open air, threatened to be dropped. The episode ends.

## Quotes

* Hardwon, about the Earth Titan's boulder quads: "Oh my quad." - Moonshine: "Oh my quad, look at those delts."
* “Paw Paw, teabag Hardwon!” - Beverly to Spectral Paw Paw
* “You know what they say about stone: When it pops up, you knock it back down.” - Hardwon mocking the Earth Titan.
* Earth Titan to Hardwon: "You have too many friends!" - Hardwon: “And we could use another.”
* “You have given me life, and now I give you my milk of life” - Spectral Paw Paw to Moonshine.
* "Bink, bink, bink, bink." - Moonshine.

## Trivia

* Ice was banned from drinks in this episode because of Jake.

## Music/Sound Effects

* "The Mountain Meets the Sky" by Emily Axford.
* "Trust the Gust" by Emily Axford.
* "The Titan of Air" by Emily Axford.

## External Links

* Headgum
* Spotify
* NAD&DP Subreddit Thread