First Steps

*I wandered around the cold land for an eternity. The food there is scarce, and nothing that I could hunt by myself anyway. Thus, I ate bitter herbs and the like to sustain myself. It was in this place that God found me again. It happened one night, after a tussle with one of the large stamping creatures. I was lying awake and the ceiling began to contort. I sat up, shocked by this supernatural twist, but that's when God spoke to me once again.*

*"Sit back down". So I did, and my back hurt because wouldn't yours hurt too if you were lying on the stone ground?*

*"You look like a mess." God said "I didn't go for that long."*

*It was at this point that I was just about done with this shit.*

*"Because this place is garbage.There's basically nothing here to eat, and it's filled with all these huge monsters that keep trying to kill me! Why wouldn't I look a mess?! Why couldn't you put me somewhere better?!"*

*I was quite angry. God, however, wasn't in the mood to either kill me or laugh at me. He sighed with exasperation.*

*"Hey, relax. I was congratulating you for doing so well. Besides, I came here to offer you something better."*

*"What do you mean?"*

*"Since you apparently only think about food, and since you have been so insistent that I be more helpful, I have decided that I will provide."*

*Thus, God took me up and sent me to the peak of the world, his domain. It was not intended for mortal eyes. Not in the sense that it was wonderful, but in the sense that being there hurt every sense I had. At the time, I did not much like it, but I decided to hold my tongue so as not to risk him killing me. Eventually, after travelling what felt like an endless distance, he dropped me down onto a thankfully normal chair.*

 *"Here you are." said God, providing me with a dish worthy of a king. Or several. There was a lot of food there. I looked at God, and he said:*

*"You asked for food. You got it. Eat it all."*

*This was unfortunately not a suggestion. So I got started. It took me a really, really long time. At some point, God went away or something because when I looked around during one of my breaks, I was terrifyingly alone.*

*"Hey, God! are you there?!"*

*With no way of finding him, I continued to eat. After another age, I realised that the food was gone. I was now alone in the domain of God. Except, I felt strange... The palace didn't seem so impossible to navigate anymore. I stood up, taking my first steps.*

*I walked through the palace, and went... Nowhere. Everywhere I went was empty. The palace was so completely desolate that I wondered why God would even choose to live here. More than that, I wanted to find him. I hadn't interacted with anyone for so long, I just wanted to talk or be talked to. I was sick of this wandering shit. I wouldn't do it anymore. I don't remember what it was exactly, but I think I must've uttered a prayer under my breath that I would find him again.*

*And as I took my next step, a miracle happened.*

*In a single step, I travelled far. Centimetres, Kilometres, Miles, Light years, all becoming equal values in that first step. Vast expanses covering countless eternities - I crossed them all in an instant. Actually, it's more fitting to say that I disregarded them altogether, simply ignoring the scale of the world that I had previously small and alone in. And I was there. God, looking at me with an almost laughing expression, spoke to me as I regained my bearings from my supernatural experience.*

*"Congratulations. You've taken your first steps as a God."*