Quizno's with Haley Joel Osment

"Quizno's with Haley Joel Osment" is Episode 158 of *Doughboys*, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Quizno's with Haley Joel Osment" was released on June 13, 2018.

## Synopsis

Actor Haley Joel Osment (*Silicon Valley*, *Future Man*) joins to discuss acting in food commercials, eating on sets, and to review fading toasted submarine sandwich chain Quizno's. Plus, another edition of Snack or Wack.

## Nick's Intro

"*We like the moon.*"

So sang a duo of rodent-like creatures with bulging eyes and giant mouths dubbed the Spongmonkeys, who, along with the humiliated Star Wars Kid, became the internet sensations of 2003. Created by animator Joel Veitch for his website rathergood.com, the crudely-animated two-minute short depicted a vocalist in a bowler screeching incoherent lyrics alongside an acoustic guitarist in a Napoleon-style bikehorn hat.

The Spongmonkeys belong to a class of viral pre-Youtube web animations, mostly delivered via Flash video, that included Badger Badger Badger, Peanut Butter Jelly Time and All Your Base Are Belong To Us, all sharing a lo-fi aesthetic and absurdist sensibility that would have excluded them from television.

Until 2004, that is, when a rapidly-growing submarine-sandwich chain commissioned Veitch to make a Spongmonkeys TV commercial for their restaurant, and the "We Love The Subs" ad was born.

Though the malformed musical animal act was polarizing with viewers, the spots were a huge success at spreading brand awareness for the then-second-biggest sandwich chain in the country. The Spongmonkeys spot was the most successful of that chain's run of weird-for-weird sake's commercials, which included an ad featuring a young Jim Parsons reminiscing about suckling on his wolf mother's teat and one in which an anthropomorphic toasting oven lustily implored a sandwich artist to "put it in me."

The offbeat marketing was very of its time (the first decade of the 21st century), as was the chain's success itself.

Founded in 1981 by Denver fine-dining chef Jimmy Lambatos, it became popular in the Centennial State for its deli-style oven-baked sandwiches and grew into a mildly-successful regional chain during the '80s. After the founder sold the chain to a father/son investing duo in the early 1990s, the company went public and expanded wildly, going from 18 restaurants in 1991 to nearly 300 by the turn of the century to a staggering count of over 5000 locations in 2007, on the backs of its innovative toasted subs and the eagerness of its growing army of franchisees.

But much like the novelty of a viral video, its success was short-lived.

Its much-larger competitor, Subway, beat down the sandwich rebellion by quickly retrofitting its kitchens to incorporate toasting ovens, nullifying the chain's signature gimmick. Even more devastating was the great recession and financial crisis of 2008, which exposed the over-leveraged company's financial woes, leading to hundreds of store closures and even bankruptcy. Today, just over a decade from its peak, the company has receded to fewer than 1000 locations worldwide.

But despite its struggles, do its remaining loyal customers still say "we love the subs!"?

This week on *Doughboys*: Quiznos.

## Fork Rating

* Veggie Guacamole
 Mike Mitchell
* Chipotle Steak & Cheddar
* Diet Mountain Dew
 Haley Joel Osment
* Chipotle Steak & Cheddar
* BBQ Baked Lays chips
 shared

## Snack or Wack

In Snack or Wack, The Doughboys have a snack and rate it either 'snack' or 'wack.'

For this episode, they try the *Deadpool 2* Trolli Sour Brite TinyHands candy.

 Mike Mitchell
 Haley Joel Osment

## Quotes

**Nick:** Not if it's like our podcast.

**Mitch:** You sick son of a bitch.

## #hashtags

* #Chipswich
* #GermanMysteryGummies

## Related Episodes

* DD. Quiznos Quiz Show
* 342. Hero's Journey: Sub-Optimal: Semi-soft Finals
* DD. Hero's Journey: Sub-Optimal: Fat Chance Kitchen Finals

## Photos (via @doughboyspod)

Honey Mustard Chicken Sub and Chipotle Steak & Cheddar SubVeggie Guacamole Sub and Chipotle Pork SubSouthwest Chicken Sub and Chipotle Steak & Cheddar SubClassic Tater TotsQuizno's Signage