Cinema: The Vintage Years

## Production

**Episode:** 9

**Date:** March 24, 1971

**Time:** 50:24

**Musical Director:**

**Vocals:** The Ladybirds

**Choreography:**

**Producer:** John Robins

**Director:** John Robins

**Writer:** Benny Hill

## Episode

* Quickie: Unfaithful Dance
* Ballad: The Egg Marketing Board Tango
* French for Starters
* The Messenger
* The Grass is Greener
* Supermarket Dance
* Benny: Behind The Scenes
* The Ladybirds: Close to You
* Cinema: The Vintage Years
* Bloopers - 3
* The French Bonanza
	+ German Butter
	+ Cavern Keg Beer
	+ Opportunitie Knokkes
* Westminster Funsters
* Chow Mein's Restaurant
* Tag: Man in a Wheelchair

## Highlights

* French For Starters
* The Messenger
* Supermarket Dance
* Passengers of Love

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Nicholas Parsons
* Andree Melly
* Bob Todd
* Bettine Le Beau
* Johnny Greenland
* The Ladybirds
* Jenny Lee Wright
* Jack Wright
* Lesley Goldie
* Kay Frazer
* Sue Bond
* Connie Georges

## Quotes

* **Andree Melly** - "I believe you played leads..."
**Merwyn Cruddy**  - "Oh yes, and Munster and Birmingham."

* **Merwyn Cruddy**  - "And sometimes I suffered pain with a big "P.""

* **Andree Melly** - "She was a masochist!"
**Merwyn Cruddy**  - "She spoke perfect English!"

* **Benny Hill** - "Can you get my script? It isn't there? I think I left it up in Jenny's room. Or maybe it was Bettine's room. Or many the Lady Bird's room..... Not a funny show, but a happy show."

* **Benny Hill**  - "What do you call a man who marries another man? A Vicar...."

* **Benny Hill**  - "How do male elephants find female elephants in the long grass? Very nice."

* **Edward Heath**  - "Now, boys and girls, I want to talk about our little party. Now, because I don't want you in our party."
**Harold Wilson**  - I don't want to join your rotten little party. All you do is go around and around in concentric circles in your own inflationary spiral."

* **Mamood Ramsun**  - "I would like a little service."
**Chow Mein**  - "Then go to a little church."

* **Chow Mein**  - "Do you want to *spirit*?"
**Mamood Ramsun**  - "No, I don't want to *spill it,* I want to drink it."
**Chow Mein**  - "I didn't say *spirit,* I said *spirit*. Don't you know the Queen's English?"
**Mamood Ramsun**  - "I'm sure he is."

* **Chow Mein**  - "How you like your coffee?"
**Mamood Ramsun**  - "Like I like my women... Hot and sweet."

* **Chow Mein**  - "If you can't see it, and you can't smell it, we ain't got it."

## Trivia

* First appearance of Andree Melly
* The series once again reverts back to color after three episodes in black and white.
* In an open moment with the audience, Benny also mentions "The Mike and Bernie Winters Show" also filmed at Thames Studios.
* The opening quickie features a husband (Benny Hill) departing for work and leaving his wife (Jenny Lee-Wright) with her lovers (a biker, an African hunter, Oliver Hardy and a becpactled sailor - all played by Benny)
	+ The people at the bus stop are Bettine Le Beau, Jackie Wright and Nicholas Parsons.
	+ Benny also plays Oliver Hardy in Nor Iron Bars A Cage in 1977 with Jackie as Stan Laurel and in Otto Schtuk und die Bavarian Schtompers in 1989 with Sue Upton as Stan Laurel. According to his later bios, Oliver Hardy was one of Benny's top comedic influences.
* The castles in the Messenger skit are Sissinghurst in Kent and Edinburgh Castle in Scotland.
* The female dancer with Benny in the Supermarket Dance is Kay Frazer. They're joined by Jackie Wright as the manager and Bob Todd and Bettine LeBeau as the arresting officers. The sketch incorporates ballet, salsa and other music themes with pantomime.
* Bettine Le Beau introduces a string of fake gaffes and bloopers:
	+ A camera pulling back from a Spanish dancer (Benny) revealing his stand-in (Johnny Greenland
	+ A French child actor (Benny) filming a scene and knocking a basket of eggs off the table (Bettine plays the mother)
	+ A badly dubbed French version of "Bonanza" with a map of Connecticutt and an actress dubbing the voice of the Native American (Benny plays Ben and Big Hoss; Bob Todd is the Indian. The voices are from Betty and Bettine,)
	+ The spokesman for Stuck butter (Benny) is confronted by the angry husband (Bob) of a housewife (Bettine) (The by-standers are Lesley Goldie, {[Jenny Lee-Wright]] and Jackie Wright)
	+ The lady spokesman of German Ale Beer (Benny) lets a costomer (Nicholas Parsons) sample a taste little knowing its paint thinner from a worman (Jackie) in the tavern
	+ Dissension between three performers (Benny, Bob and Jackie) on "Opportunitie Knokkes"
* "Opportunitie Knokkes" was a parody of the British TV series "Opportunity's Knocking;" Benny previously parodied it in 1970.
* The Westminster Funsters shows a rare political satire directed at Edward Heath (Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1970 to 1974), Harold Wilson (Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1964 to 1970) and Enoch Powell (Conservative Member of Parliament from 1950 to 1974).
* The ending tag features an old man (Benny) pushed by his valet (Jackie) chasing after two girls (Sue Bond and Lesley Goldie) with the valet rolling off unattended in the wheelchair.
* Several clips from this episode made it into the The Best of Benny Hill.

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** Undercover Sanitary Inspector
* **Next Episode:** Fun in the Kitchen