Episode 167

"*His balls bathe in the bluewater everytime he drops a bumpkin!*"
—Paul's Ego
**Episode 167** is an episode of Drunken Peasants.

## Highlights

* The return of PaulsEgo.
* A crippled Trump supporter hoarding lions.
* Bill O'Reilly goes full G Man.

## Videos Played

1. TVC loses his virginity
2. Bill Nye Isn't A Real Scientist *(not found)*
3. Cookin Up A Beat With Evan Lefavor
4. Are Atheists Repressing The Truth? *(not found)*
5. The War On Animals *(not found)*
6. Mountain Man ernie tertelgte before court
7. Bill O'Reilly "Debunks" Liberal Trying To Lower College Tuition *(not found)*
8. To Devon Tracey:
9. PAULEGO IS THE LIVING MAN

## Start Of The Show

The episode started with an edited video of The Vigilant Christian (created by ԀP wiki user Sky Clad Observer), making him off as even more crazy than usual. They peasants announced a new intro for the show is in the works. They managed to summon Paul from the nether realm onto the live stream of DP. Paul talked about his immense knowledge of knobs.

 File:SexyVelma.jpg
They talked about the cold hard truth of #WeWereThere and the Brett Keane situation. They plugged the DP subreddit by mentioned the Bible Reloaded doing an AMA for fans on the subreddit. Paul talked about his love of Velma from *Scooby Doo* and encouraged fans to tell BeyondPhere to draw the twelve days of Velma for Christmas. They moved into a Troll or Not a Troll video about some black guy, the peasants were totally lost. The peasants besides Paul all concluded he was not a troll.

The moved into the Crazy People Segment with a brand new intro. Before they began, Paul sang to us in his Brett Keane voice, showing off his prowess as a Butt King historian. Paul talked about the popularity of Episode 166 and how it will haunt him for the rest of his days.

Next up was a video by the Febreze Guy trying to refute Bill Nye the Science Guy and his credentials as a scientist. He claims that he's merely an actor and not a real scientist, even though that's actually complete bullshit, Nye being well established as a mechanical engineer. He says that Nye knows nothing about science while he himself also once said that Febreze is Illuminati. Ben asked if they should move on and TJ said the video was dead on arrival.

They then played a video of a discount Jamie Hyneman who cooked us up a beat by smacking together some pots. Ben commented to that the video was an intense nine minutes long and Paul felt embarrassed for any other form on music shown on DP because his beats were truly worthy god-like. Paul fully recited a quote from *Dune*.

They moved into a video from some creepy looking bald motherfucker who thinks atheists are just repressing what they know to be the truth. He made up a fake quote by Paul's Ego to try and justify his argument and TJ demanded that the wiki document it. The peasants talk about how he's doing the same tap and dance as most ignorant creationists like it's a recited poem. The peasants compared Heaven to God's personal little "safe space."

## Middle Of The Show

 File:Beastmaster4trump2.jpg
They played a video about a crippled white guy in a pink bandana from Ohio trying to get Donald Trump's attention for a mere thirty minute interview. Ben is confirmed to hate all crippled, exotic pet owners. The peasants were too interested by him owning and entire pride of tigers.

He had a good point about government cruelty against animals, but went full libertarian by saying people should do whatever they want. He also for some reason went on a tangent about online bullying. The peasants discussed his clear inconsistencies regarding government authority. The took a short break.
They returned and did some shilling. They briefly talked about David Lynch's *Dune* and Paul begged TJ to watch one of his other movies while high on shrooms. The peasants discussed Scotty violently arguing with some morons on The Drunken Peasants Fan Club and said he was done with the group for good.

They then played a video by The Living Man. Paul read off a hilarious nonsense sign he was holding up with the most atrocious grammar known to man. He is revealed to be the son of an orcish chieftain. He was talking to a crowd of nobody but spoke as if he was talking before the proletariat masses. The peasants said that his gimmick would be a great idea for Brett Keane to steal.

They moved into a Bill O'Reilly segment on Fox News asking some chick about if there should be lower college tuition in America and tries to refute her arguments with weasel words. Ben brought up how tuition is going up twice a year and not even close to adjusting with inflation.

They talked about the methods that college's manage to charge students up the ass for petty things like text books. Pauls told a story about his own college experiences with books and how one professors commented that he may not even have to use the book at all.

## End Of The Show

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They also brought up Bill's lack of concern for overblown military spending but it quick to jump at anyone daring to bring up making college more accessible to the average America. Bill demands to that she produce him a starving child. TJ encourages the fans to tweet to O'Reilly that he's a cunt and TJ later offers Fox to take Bill's job and do better than his dumb ass could ever hope to do. She has to remind Bill that being poor isn't abuse.

Ben wanted to play a Vigilant Christian video but TJ said he wanted to watch anything else. They instead played a video by an anonymous guy responding to Devon Tracey. TJ questioned if the video was made by Ben, Paul commented that the Guy Fawkes mask was overplayed and they gave criticism of his heavy audio distortion. The man behind the mask claimed that Tracey was making a double standard about what he believes is progressive. TJ agreed with the video but suggested that he remove the fucking audio filter.

They then played a video with audio of PaulsEgo over a video of the The Living Man.

The peasants then move onto Storytime With Paul.
Paul told a story about a shitty night he had while sharing a condo with some other sweaty men who nearly drove him nuts. He managed to get some great pan. Someone in his group cut a hole in his ballsack with kitchen scissors when Paul encourage him to shave his balls.

This somehow leads into a story about an orgy that happened in the same house with some stripper his friends hired. Some Japanese kid named Yoshi came asking for the chick who was apparently his girlfriend and Paul shut the fucking door on his ass. Paul came in during a sex act his friends called The Wobbly H. It ended with the Japanese dude throwing a shit fit and leaving, Paul intended the story to be a life lesson for the drunken audience.

## Quotes

* *"Fuck you, DaveCreator!"* - Scotty tells it like it is.
* *"You and I are both knob experts in different ways."* - PaulsEgo.
* *"You know what a brown funnel noodle is?"* - PaulsEgo's impression of the black guy,
* *"Yeah, you're a late night movie!"* - Ben to Brett Keane.
* *"The evidence of God is clear."* - PaulsEgo 2015
* *"You're a fraud, TJ!"* - TJ gets rekt by Scotty.
* *"We've got Paul here! We can fucking bullshit until the end of time."* - TJ's plan for the show.
* *"Let me apologise, my dew rag smells of cat piss..."* - Paul's impression of the crazy Trump guy.
* *"How can you be a terrorist and get a tax break?"* - A hard hitting question as asked by the crazy Trump dude.
* *"Produce one! Produce one!"* - Bill O'Reilly on starving children in New York.
* *"Being poor is not child abuse."* - Some chick talking to Bill like he's a little fucking kid.

## Trivia

* This was the first podcast to broadcast in full HD 1080p.
* The peasants shouted out the DP Wiki (twice motherfuckers!) and Subreddit, causing the most orgasms on any DP episode since the last appearance of Mercedes Carrera.
* Paul brought up his tattoos of three tiki masks.
* Paul ruined the words "situation" and "individual" for the rest of time.
* TJ originally didn't want to talk about Brett Keane at all starting with Episode 166, but eventually agreed to have him on after Ben suggested it.
* Evan Lefavor is better than any modern day music.
* Paul was once nearly blown up by a PETA car bomb.
* Ben mentioned owning a deadly chihuahua during the episode, it was unknown if he actually owns one.
* TJ describes himself as the leader of Drunken Peasants.
* Bill O'Reilly was taking it up the ass from the devil the whole show.
* Michael Savage's real name is Michael Weiner.
* TJ and Cody Weber may have been gay lovers.