recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Dorian Gray

"*You do not belong here. Even less than I. You are not frivolous. Your eye is careful and appraising. This is not a careful room, although there is much to appraise. That can divert you for only so long. You do not like it here. You are closed to it. Yet... you're the only woman in this house not wearing gloves. Your hands want to touch, but your head wants to appraise. Your heart is torn between the two. You were skeptical because you thought... This was going to be a wasted evening, but now you're not so sure.*"
—Dorian Gray to Vanessa Ives[src]

**Dorian Gray** is a character on Showtime's *Penny Dreadful*. He débuts in the second episode of the first season. He is portrayed by starring cast star Reeve Carney.

Dorian Gray is based on the character with the same name from the novel, *The Picture of Dorian Gray*.

## History

**This article or section needs more history!**You can help out the **Penny Dreadful Wikia** by updating or adding to the history of this subject.

## Appearances

 *Absent*
 "Closer Than Sisters":
 *Absent*

 *Absent*
 "Glorious Horrors":
 **Appears**

 *Absent*
 "No Beast So Fierce":
 *Absent*
Evelyn Poole

"*Why don't you come to me, then? Kiss me, sister, as we did in the old times. When we were a coven of sisters, coiled together like adders, like adders in the sands of Egypt, like hawks over Golgotha, like all things that come together and find strength as one. As it was before, when you too were young and smiled and had such dreams. Come to me, sister. Embrace me. The Master awaits you. He will kiss you and hold you fast, enfolding your body like a lover. Oh, she is wasted on you. Give her to me.*"
—Evelyn Poole to her sister, Joan Clayton[src]

**Evelyn Poole**, also known as **Madame Kali**, was a character on Showtime's *Penny Dreadful*. She débuts in the second episode of the first season. She is portrayed by starring cast star Helen McCrory.

## History

**This article or section needs more history!**You can help out the **Penny Dreadful Wikia** by updating or adding to the history of this subject.

## Appearances

 *Absent*
 "Closer Than Sisters":
 *Absent*

 **Appears**
 "Glorious Horrors":
 **Appears**

## References

1. ↑ "And They Were Enemies", *Penny Dreadful*, Showtime
Dimpton Palace

## Bio

The **Dimpton Palace** is an public English theater located somewhere in England, possibly in Little Dimpton. The poster outside bills Patty Bottom - Sex & Steps Appeal, Fang Ling Tun and Elsie - The Magic of the East and the entire Midnight in Soho Company production in a play about a nightclub, which features a topless bar; the bartender (Bob Todd) doesn't wear a shirt.

The night club features a lead singer (Benny Hill) singing "Love For Sale" to a full audience which includes a customer (Jackie Wright), who loses his money to (Anna Dawson), but the singer retrieves it from her cleavage and gives it back to him. The singer himself gets the attention of several ladies in the audience, one of whom (Anna Dawson) changes her mind after getting a good look at him. He dances with a young lady in a naval uniform (Samantha Stevens), but he is soon the attention of a young socialite (Lee Gibson). A male bunny (Patrick Newell) sells her a boutonniere.

Three weeks later, the singer returns to the club very affluent with his female benefactor, who sings "You Stepped Out Of A Dream" to him. A woman (Diana Darvey) who liked him before stages a fight for him, and the singer gets a chair broken over his head by the bartender before getting stabbed by his blonde admirer and he quite literally kicks the bucket.

## Trivia

* The song, "Love For Sale," also appears in the April 25, 1979 Pan's People routine.
* This sketch pretty much lays out the plot of the Barry Manilow song, "Copacabana," with two lovers separated by a knife fight that ends badly.
* The extended cast of the sketch includes Henry McGee and Earl Adair.

## Gallery

1/16
Christine Rodgers

**Christine Rodgers** is an English actress known for "Tele-Tale," "Carry on Cleo" and "Carry on Spying." She also appeared as the wife of Jackie Wright in the original Hotel Sordide sketch on "The Benny Hill Show," on February 4, 1970. She also starred on two episodes of "At Last the 1948 Show" with John Cleese and Graham Chapman of "Monty Python" fame and Tim Brooke-Taylor of "The Goodies."
Penny Dreadful

***Penny Dreadful*** is a television show on Showcase. It was created and written by Johnj Logan.

Season 1 premiered on May 11, 2014, and concluded on June 29, 2014. The full-disc DVD/Blu-ray set was released on October 14, 2014.

Season 2 premiered on May 3, 2015, and concluded on July 5, 2015. The full-disc DVD/Blu-ray set was released on October 6, 2015.

Season 3 premiered on May 1, 2016, and will conclude on June 19, 2016.

## Cast

**This article or section needs more history!**You can help out the **Penny Dreadful Wikia** by updating or adding to the history of this subject.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 http://www.dvdsreleasedates.com/movies/6982/penny-dreadful
Ferdinand Lyle

"*I gave that up long ago. It was too embarrassing. Forever trying to remain fit with rubdowns and medicine balls and glandular injections, while always around me there were more handsome men who had the thrill of genuine youth. Guardsmen in shining uniforms and stable hands with thicker arms. Yes. I admit to vanity about my complexion and hair color. What harm there, really? So I render myself foolish? Well, hang a man for that and it'll be a very crowded gallows. But then there's you. Quite a different paean to youth we sing there.*"
—Ferdinand Lyle talks with Madame Kali as she gets a massage from the younger witches.[src]

**Ferdinand Lyle** is a character on Showtime's *Penny Dreadful*. He débuts in the first episode of the first season. He is portrayed by guest star Simon Russell Beale.

## History

**This article or section needs more history!**You can help out the **Penny Dreadful Wikia** by updating or adding to the history of this subject.

## Appearances

 **Appears**
 "Closer Than Sisters":
 *Absent*

 *Absent*
 "Glorious Horrors":
 **Appears**

 **Appears**
 "No Beast So Fierce":
 *Absent*
A Streetcar Named Desiree

## Bio

**A Streetcar Named Desirée** is an English film set in New York City about the lives of Frank and Stella (Benny Hill and Anna Dawson) and the ordeal they have living with her baby sister, Desirée DuBois (also played by Benny).

One afternoon, Frank is playing cards with two of his friends, Sonny (Jon Jon Keefe) and two others Bob Todd and Derek Deadman) while Stella gets upset with him for throwing his clothes on the floor. Sonny is supposed to meet Desirée, but Stella keeps over-praising her looks to Frank's annoyed liners.

After Frank and the others depart, Desirée arrives overwought by the heat. Sitting in the rocking chair scares the cat which jumps across the room. By now, Frank returns and Stella asks him to go meet Desirée and talk to her on the porch. Unfortunately, this does not help his opinion of her, and he comes in realizing she is crazy based on several of the odd things she does and says. He ends up calling the mental hospital to come pick her up.

When the guys come back to continue playing cards with Frank, they meet Desirée coming out of the bathroom with her skirt stuck in the back of her underwear. Frank now heads to the bathroom himself, and Desirée ends up taking his place in the card game. She ends up winning several hands, taking all of the guys' money as they get more and more desperate. Ehen they ask her to cut the cards, she takes them literally, chopping the cards in half with a cleaver. The doctor from the mental hospital (Henry McGee) now arrives with two orderlys (actors unidentified), and seeing the guys acting crazy, takes them into custody. As Frank comes out of the bathroom and sees his poker buddies missing, Desirée explains what happened, and he huddles in great sadness with Stella knowing they're stuck with her.

## Trivia

* This sketch is a loose parody of the 1951 film "A Streetcar Named Desire" which starred Marlon Brando and Vivien Leigh.
* "Grown out... up" is a recurring Benny gag.
* Benny Hill crushing the tail of the cat under the rocking chair was a recurring "Three Stooges" gag, most notably by Curly Howard in "Dizzy Detectives" (1943).
* Frank says his address is 36 Maple Drive.

## Gallery

1/11
An Integrated Hamlet

## Production

**Episode:** 29

**Date:** December 20, 1976

**Producer:** Peter Whitmore

**Director:**

**Writer:** Dave Allen, Austin Steele and Peter Vincent

## Cast

* Dave Allen
* Jacqueline Clarke
* Michael Sharvell-Martin
* Ian Burford
* Chris Serle
* Peter Hawkins
* Simon Barnes
* Robert East
* Susie Baker
* Paul McDowell
* Ralph Watson

## Quotes

* **Dave Allen** - "The best form of oral contraceptive is the word: 'no.'"

## Trivia

* The last scene of "Hamlet" represented by ethnic minority groups is one of the most recalled sketches from the series.
* Recurring characters and themes in this episode include Romeo and Juliet, drinking, the Count of Monte Cristo, knights, marriage and Hamlet.
* One of the top parodied characters in the series, The Count of Monte Cristo is based on the novel by Alexandre Dumas.
* In the opening, Dave parodies "Romeo And Juliet" by William Shakespeare.
* Dave parodies the last scene in the play "Hamlet," written by the poet William Shakespeare.

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** This Is Your Life
* **Next Episode:** Death of an Indian Rubber Man
Eva Green

## Eva Gaëlle Green

**Eva Gaëlle Green** is a French actress who portrays Vanessa Ives on Showcase's *Penny Dreadful*.

## Biography

Green was born in Paris, France, two minutes earlier than her sororal twin sister, Joy (Johanne). She is the daughter of Marlène Jobert, an actress, and Walter Green, a dentist. (Her father Walter has acted in film, appearing in Robert Bresson's film Au Hasard Balthazar.) Her father is of Swedish and French descent, and through him she is the great-granddaughter of the French composer Paul Le Flem. Her mother, a native of French Algeria, later moved to Metropolitan France. Green is Jewish, as is her mother (of Sephardi Jewish heritage). However, she was not raised religious at all; she has said "I feel like a citizen of the world. Life and cinema don't have borders." Green has described her family as "bourgeois", and has said that her sister is very different from her. Green is a natural dark blonde; she has dyed her hair black since she was 15 years old. The French-Swedish actress Marika Green is her aunt. The 1980s pop-star Elsa Lunghini is her first cousin, through their mothers.

Green was raised in France and attended the American University of Paris, an English-speaking institution. She also spent time between Ramsgate, London and Ireland growing up. Green was quiet in school, and developed an interest in Egyptology when she visited the Louvre at age seven. At age 14, after seeing Isabelle Adjani in The Story of Adele H., Green decided to become an actress. Her mother initially feared that an acting career would be too much for her sensitive daughter, but later came to support young Eva's ambitions. Green continued her studies at St. Paul Drama School in Paris, and took an acting course at Webber Douglas Academy of Dramatic Art in London. Around this time, Green returned to Paris, where she performed in several plays. Green stated that in drama school, "I always picked the really evil roles. It's a great way to deal with your everyday emotions."

## Trivia

* Composed music for flute and piano.
* Her favorite film character is Adele Hugo in The Story of Adele H (1975).
* Her favorite actors are Joaquin Phoenix and Edward Norton among others.
* She turned down a role in Brian De Palma's The Black Dahlia (2006) with Josh Hartnett and Scarlett Johansson.
* Was ranked #16 on Maxim's hot list 2006.
* Her hobby is collecting art and visiting museums.
* Plays classical music.
* Green is the fifth French actress to play a Bond girl.
* Studied English in Ramsgate, Kent, UK.
* Bought a new baby-grand piano for her London home.
* Studied piano and flute.
* Raised in Paris, she went to an English-speaking school.
* Chosen by Empire magazine as one of the 100 Sexiest Stars in film history (#6). [2007].

## Filmography

Television
 2014–present | *Penny Dreadful* | Vanessa Ives | Lead character; 18 episodes

## Appearances

 **Appears**
 "Closer Than Sisters":
 **Appears**

 **Appears**
 "Glorious Horrors":
 **Appears**

 **Appears**
 "No Beast So Fierce":
 **Appears**
February 1, 1958

## Production

**Episode:** 10

**Date:** February 1, 1958

**Time:** 45 minutes

**Musical Director:** Bob Sharples

**Producer:** John Street

**Director:**

**Writer:** Benny Hill and Dave Freeman

## Episode

* Guests include:
	+ Tony Brent
	+ Les Marthys
	+ Los Guarania
	+ The Leslie Roberts Silhouettes
	+ The George Mitchell Singers

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Roger Avon
* Ronnie Brody
* Dave Freeman
* Peter Vernon

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** June 1, 1957
* **Next Episode:** March 1, 1958
Duncan Pettigrew

**Duncan Pettigrew** is an English actor, film editor and producer. Not much is known about his life and career. He was born in Hamilton, Scotland on October 25, 1964. He later teamed up with performer Gary O'Bee to form a circus act during the 80s; the two of them later appeared in the same episode of "The Benny Hill Show" in the April 27, 1988 episode, two of the next to last episodes of the series.

Since the series ended, he has been working as an editor and colorist for American TV shows such as "Ice Road Truckers," "Amish Mafia," "Through The Grape Vine," "Storage Wars," "The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore" and "Impractical Jokers."
Cross-Strassen Motel

## Bio

The **Cross-Strassen Motel** is a German television series centered around the activity of a hotel. The concierge (Henry McGee) encounters Benny the beer distributor (Benny Hill) making a delivery and knocking over an ashtray receptacle in the lobby. The two of them dicker a bit and discuss his female relationships in German. The concierge even offers him a free drink, but he's briefly distracted by a pretty employee (Sue Upton). The concierge, desk clerk (Anna Dawson) and bartender (Jon Jon Keefe) then try scamming Benny knowing full well he's unfamiliar with the current currency. They give him a coin and a large bill (calling it ordinary paper) and telling him he can only have one. Benny naturally takes the coin, but he also takes the "ordinary paper" to wrap it in.

## Trivia

* This sketch along with Hott Sexe, Free Loofa und Lust Orgie was one of two "European Television" sketches.
* William Brown of "Benny's Place" confirms this was a German parody of the British TV soap "Crossroads." Benny had also parodied the long running British series on December 17, 1975.
* The guests at the start are Alison Thomas and possibly Sue Upton in a large wig.

## Gallery

1/7
Andee Cromarty

**Andee Cromarty** is an English actress known mostly for starring in a string of movies through the Seventies, such as "Confessions of a Window Cleaner" in 1974 and "At the Earth's Core" in 1976. One of her first acting roles was as a cast member on "The Benny Hill Show," appearing as one of the saloon girls in "The Deputy" sketch in the March 29, 1973 episode, later returning to the show in 1980 in the February 6, 1980 and  March 5, 1980 episodes. Her current whereabouts are unknown.

## Episode(s)

* Dalton Abbott Railway Choir
* Women's Lib Television
* Butch Cafferty and the Fundance Kid
Fam and Fufan

### Bio

**Fam and Fufan** is a monologue recited by Felix Tantrum (Benny Hill) in period dress and style. According to the back history of the set piece, the poem was written by 18th Century poet Solomon Saint John, who transposed the letters "s" and "f" in his writing, leaving his name inscribed as "Folomon Faint John." His other works include "the Filent Fignal,: "A Fingle Fyllable," "Fufan Flept Here," "A Fummerf Day," "A Fight for Fore Eyef" and "The Furprife." On the anniversary of Solomon's death, Tantrum reads the work in its original written form. This premise is identical to the Fad-Eyed Fal routine.
Benny's Place

## Bio

**Benny's Place** was the opening ballad of the March 14, 1979 episode. Written and produced by Benny Hill, it starred Roger Finch, Jenny Lee Wright, Patricia Hayes and Jackie Wright as back-singers and centered around a restaurant in the American Southwest. Dressed as cow girls, the Hill's Angels in attendance were Sue Upton, Louise English, Pauline Crawford, Abigail Higgins, Francesca Whitburn, Sarah Woolett and Nola Haynes.

## Lyrics

Now there was just my daughter and me when the hoodlums come in

They took the jukebox and money out of the till

And when they went out through the door, my daughter said, "Pa, I hung onto a fifty-dollar bill."

I asked, "Now, how the heck did you do that?"

"Well, I was sitting on it." said my daughter Nell

I said, "If only your dear sweet mother had been here,

"We could have saved the jukebox as well."

But at Benny's Place, last night at ten, Big Chief Sitting Bull blew in.

He had a plate of beans and then he blew out again.

You'll like it down at Benny's Place.

Now, I went to see Pete about getting some meat from the barbecue on Saturday Night.

When this English Rose with the turned up nose came in from the caravan site.

Now Pete said to me, "Sire, I prithee, what might be that fair maiden's want?"

She stuck her bucket on the counter and she said, "a pound of fillet",

And Pete said, "A pound, you don't."

But, Benny's Girls are real well bred,

We like 'em in blue, we like 'em in red.

We love them the best when we got 'em in green.

You'll like it down at Benny's Place.

Now, six Hell's Angels come in here one night and started picking on some little guy.

Now they pulled his hair, and then they pushed him off his chair...

And when he left I thought he was going to cry.

Well, the Hell's Angels said, "He ain't much of a man to let a gang like us do just what it likes."

I said, "He ain't much of a driver, 'cause he's just backed his truck over six brand new motor bikes!"

But at Benny's Place, we never get tight.

You can drink thirty pints, and it's still all right.

But we did have one fellow burst last night.

You'll like it down at Benny's Place.

Now I saw Charlie parked outside in his car

I said, "Now tell me, where's your beautiful wife?"

I said, "That woman of yours just radiates happiness, she radiates the charm of life.

Now she radiates wit and she radiates wisdom, she radiates joy when she's speakin'."

He said, "That's great, but at the moment, mate, my radiator is leakin'."

Well, at Benny's Place, you get pork and beans

The waitresses are all beauty queens.

They all walk around in them open-neck jeans.

Come on down to Benny's...

Come and spend your pennies..

You'll like it down at Benny's Place!
Brooklyn Benny Rap

## Bio

**The Brooklyn Benny Rap** (or "New York Benny") was the opening act of Benny Hill's World Tour: New York, performed by Benny Hill dressed as a tourist with the cast dressed as street toughs.

## Lyrics

Now gather folks and lend an ear, I tell you I'm just pickled pink to be here.

I came across on a Concorde jet, a trip two old ladies would never forget.

They said to the guy with the captain's hat, "Don't fly faster than sound because we want to chat."

This gal at the airport security said she'd have to search me thoroughly.

"Why that's an insult," my manager reckons, but I didn't care, I went back for seconds.

I went to this cafe, and I had lobsters, oysters, soup of the day.

The waitress brought me fries and steak and apple pie and chocolate cake.

"What'll I wash it down with, Miss?" I calls, she says, "How about Niagara Falls."

I tell this big guy the name of my hotel, I said, "What's the quickest way to get there, pal?"

He said, "You take the subway to Washington Square. Washington Square, you're almost there."

Well, on the subway I can see, folks 'round here love poetry.

There's "I think married life is grand, it's just my husband that I can't stand."

And "He who laughs when things go wrong has just thought of someone he can blame it on."

It's on the ceiling, and it's on the floors, "I upped my income... up yours!"

Now, there was a gal sitting next to me on the train with a figure that would drive a man insane.

I says, "I'm a stranger around here, Miss, could you direct me to where your house is?"

We got off at Union Street and her apartment was cool and neat.

She slipped off my jacket as we walked in, she said, "Kick off your shoes, pour me a gin."

I started to pour, I said, "You will say when," she said, "Right after I finish that gin."

Now by time I poured myself a beer she had changed into something cool and sheer.

She stood real close and she smelled divine, and as she pressed her soft, red lips to mine,

I heard a knock, I heard a roar, she said, "That's my husband at the door."

I said, "I'll jump out the window, he sounds vicious," she said, "We're thirteen floors up," I said, "I'm not superstitious."

The door burst open and in he came, I hid my face in fear and shame.

I turned my back as I buttoned my shirt and I prayed to God I wouldn't get hurt.

I turned and nervously opened one eye and I was face to face with this huge guy.

Then I heard his voice cut through the air, he said, "I thought I told you to get off at Washington Square."

So let me shout it loud and clear, I'm glad to be alive and I'm glad to be here.

Oh yeah!
Comet Matrix Wikia

**Hello and welcome!**

Welcome to the **Comet Matrix Wikia!** This wiki was created by Cherrybombed, who originally made it as a coding test. Since then, this wiki has turned into more of a hangout wiki, where you can make pages for your characters and stories, and even test out code yourself! So, feel free to hang out in the chat or on the forums, or even make a page!

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Charmaine Seal

**Charmaine Seal** is a Welsh actress and dancer who appeared in three episodes of "The Benny Hill Show." She plays a ballerina in a ballet blooper on February 4, 1970, the object of Benny's infatuation in The Boutique on October 14, 1970 and as the the dancer in the tag scene on December 23, 1970. Since appearing on the show, she married internationally-acclaimed, Moroccan-born artist Guillaume Azoulay.

## Episode(s)

* Tommy Tupper in Tupper-Time
* The Underwater World Of Jacques Custard
* Opportunity's Knocking
Christina Danielle

**Christina Danielle** is an Australian actress and model probably best known for her role as Sally Fielding Finlayson the Australian TV series "Number 96" with Ron Shand. Not much is know about her career. Her first appearance was in 1972 on "The Tony Hancock Special," and while starring in "Number 96," she performed in Benny Hill: Down Under. Although she has yet to be identified in the episode, it is possible she was one of the dancers in the opening sequence and one of the ladies in "The Vagabond" sequence, but this is unconfirmed. She dropped out of acting afterward to get married and take care of her son, becoming a fully trained massage therapist and working at a beauty salon in Woollahra and at the Bowral Natural Healing Center before starting up her own business.

In the 1990s, she tried getting back into show business, working in theater and establishing the Southern Highlands Academy of Clown. She regularly entertains between Goulburn and Sydney as the clown Daff-O-Dilly, specializing in magic shows, face painting, juggling, birthday parties, school fetes, festivals, fairs, shopping centre appearances, parades and special events.
Deep In My Heart

## Bio

**Deep In My Heart** is an American wide-screen movie adapted for television. In order to fit the movie on television screens without distorting the screen, the editing process involved focusing on sections of the screen and following the action, often resulting in voice-overs over the wrong sections of screen. According to the credites, the movie was from the studio that created "Midnight Cowboy," "The Dirty Dozen," "War And Peace," "The Glass Bottom Boat," "Thunder Ball." "Sleeping Beauty," "Mutiny on the Bounty," "Leave Her To Heaven" and "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers." The cast included James Chevalier, Oliver Reed, Samantha Eggar and Maurice Chevalier.

In the film, a young man (Benny Hill) drives out in to the desert to show his girlfriend (Dilys Watling) the property he owns. He claims he is going to build a resort on the property, but when they stop to have a picnic, the real owner (Jackie Wright) shows up with his dog and beats up the young man. His girlfriend has to rescue him and apologize. After a tough confession from him, the girl forgives him as the camera pans out from their reconciliation, revealing a stagehand (Henry McGee) wandering into the fake backdrop.

## Gallery

1/8
Bill Weston

**William "Bill" Weston** was a British stunt performer and actor with a 40-year career that includes stunt work for several top-grossing movies, such as "Saving Private Ryan," "Titanic," "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and "Batman Begins."

Born May 29, 1941, Weston's TV work includes appearances on "Doctor Who," "Z Cars," "Doomwatch," "The Goodies" and three episodes of "The Benny Hill Show." He played Chief Running Bare in the March 29, 1973 "The Deputy" sketch, a solder and a pedestrian among other roles in Gavin Blod and appeared in the tag running scene on January 8, 1975. He was possibly the man in the bear suit in the March 12, 1975 segment, "J. Arthur Mein Prevents His Behind the Bamboo Curtain" sketch. He is also one of several former "Benny Hill" co-stars to appear in the "Star Wars" franchise with David Prowse, Trisha Noble and Laurie Goode, having played a Storm-Trooper in "Star Wars: A New Hope."

Sadly, Weston passed away on March 25, 2012.

## Episode(s)

* Great Mysteries with Orson Buggy
* Gavin Blod: The Man and His Music
* The Dalton Abbott Railway Choir (uncredited)
Albert Moses

**Albert Moses** is and English-Sri Lankan actor and producer probably best known for his appearances in the movies "Octopussy," "The Man Who Would Be King" and "An American Werewolf in London."

Moses was born on December 19, 1937 in Kandy, Ceylon. He began acting in the 1960s in India where he appeared in several films, later producing and directing documentaries in Africa in the Early 70s. Moving to England, he played small parts in several television series, such as "The Moonstone," "Doctor in Charge," "Doctor Who," "The Two Ronnies," "Robin's Nest," "Angels" and "Tales of the Unexpected" between movie roles. His film roles include "The Man Who Would Be King," "The Spy Who Loved Me" with Roger Moore, "Carry On, Emmannuelle," "An American Werewolf in London" and "Octopussy," his second James Bond movie with Roger Moore. In 1977, he was cast as the Hindu character, Ranjeet Singh, in the comedy, "Mind Your Language."

After the series ended, Moses went on to get roles in the movies "The Return of Sherlock Holmes" and "Tandoori Nights" before appearing in two episodes of 'The Benny Hill Show," playing Mr. Apu Dhurani harassed by a TV reporter played by Benny Hill on February 8, 1989 and a native who captures a Great White Hunter also played by Benny on April 5, 1989.

His recent appearances include roles in the movies "The Second Jungle Book" and "The Things You Do for Love" along with appearances in the TV shows "Murder in Mind," "Holby City" and "The Bill."

## Episode(s)

* The Crook Report
* Holding Out for a Hero (uncredited)
Coconut Milk

## Bio

**Coconut Milk** was the opening act of the December 26, 1978 episode. Set on a tropical island, it was performed by Benny Hill with Louise English, Sue Upton, Erica Lynley (credited as Erica Ludlow in her first appearance on the show), Sharon Bond, Tina Bond, Stephanie Lawrence, Mandy Perryment and Victoria Shellard providing chorus and the beat with clapping coconut shells.

## Lyrics

Now, coconut is good for eating,

(Tina Bond) - "Rabbit's food is good for luck."

(Stephanie Lawrence) - "Swimming is good for my figure."

Have you never had a look at a duck?

If you want to save money on our island,

And cut down on your petra bill,

You must add little tiny wheels to the front of your car,

And you'll always be going downhill.

Oh, you can drink coconut milk,

Coconut butter is as smooth as silk,

And when we meet in the middle of the desert as well,

We dance to the rhythm of the coconut shells.

Now, my wife has had seventeen husbands,

Including four of her own,

Last week was our anniversary so just before I left home,

I wrote her a check for one thousand kisses,

Just as daylight was dawning,

I got back that night,

She said, “Your check was just right,

"Because the milkman cashed it this morning.”

Oh, you can drink coconut milk,

Coconut butter is as smooth as silk,

And when we meet in the middle of the desert as well,

We dance to the rhythm of the coconut shells.

Now, my wife’s one in a million

How often have you heard that said?

But my wife’s not one in a million,

She looks like she’s won in a raffle instead.

Now, she’s oh so fat, I made her promise that,

She would run ten miles everyday,

And if she starts soon by the end of June,

She’ll be four hundred miles away.

Oh, you can drink coconut milk,

Coconut butter is as smooth as silk,

And when we meet in the middle of the desert as well,

We dance to the rhythm of the coconut shells.
Alison Thomas

**Alison Thomas** is an English actress known from "The Benny Hill Show." The sister of Jo Thomas, she starred on the show from 1985 to 1986, appearing as the nurse in Wondergran Meets Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde sketch, the girl on stretcher in the Lower Tidmarsh Volunteer Fire Brigade remake and and a uniformed police officer in the opening "Costa Coco" musical in Carmen. After leaving the series, she was interviewed in the British film series "Swap Shop" and appeared in the dance troupe, "Zoo," in 1982 and as a dancer in long-running BBC music program, "Top of the Pops." She also appeared in the movie, "Mistress of Seduction," in 1998.

In 2006, Alison was reunited with Alison Bell, Carla De Wansey, Jo Thomas and Sue Upton for a "I Was a Hill's Angel" feature for the series' full release on DVD in its unedited form, serving as a loving tribute and retrospective on their time on "The Benny Hill Show."

## Episode(s)

* R. Dibble: Handyman as a Hill's Angel
* The Herd as a nurse and a Hill's Angel
* Cagney and Lacey as a Hill's Angel
* A Tribute to the Lower Tidmarsh Volunteer Fire Brigade as a girl on a stretcher and a Hill's Angel
* Carmen as a Hill's Angel
* Forever Love as a Hill's Angel
* WonderGran Meets Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde as a nurse and a Hill's Angel

## Gallery

* Benny Hill and Alison Thomas
* Alison in the "Mr. Hyde" sketchGo to Mr. Hyde
* Alison on "Swap Shop"
* Alison on "Swap Shop" in 1981
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April 3, 1965

## Production

**Episode:** 20

**Date:** April 3, 1965

**Time:** 45 minutes

**Musical Director:** Burt Rhodes, Dasil Tait and Peter Knight

**Producer:** Kenneth Carter

**Director:**

**Writer:** Benny Hill and Robert Gould

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Jeremy Hawk
* Patricia Hayes
* Catherine Boyle
* Doris Hare
* Michael Malnick
* Peter Thornton
* Sylvia Tysick
* Gwendolyn Watts

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** November 6, 1964
* **Next Episode:** April 24, 1965
Brooklyn Benny

## Bio

**The Ballad of Brooklyn Benny** (or "It's a Hard Hard Life") was the opening number of the January 13, 1988 episode. Incorporating music and humor, the song was performed by Benny Hill as Brooklyn Benny (back from a long run at Sing Sing) with the cast and Hill's Angels doing back-up. Henry McGee, Jerrold Wells, Derek Deadman and Johnny Hutch played fellow gangsters, Anna Dawson played a female moll and Gary O'Bee showed up as Benny's son.

## Lyrics

(Note: The accuracy of these lyrics are a bit in doubt.)

I was born in a flat on the wrong side of the track

No shirt, no shoes, no kidding

Why the day that I was born,

I had callouses on my hands from trying to hang on till after the wedding!

When I was four, I went looking for my ma

And paw went up to the roof and broke a rib

She said, "That's not a crime. You should have laughed instead."

Well, ma, that's exactly what I did

When I was five, I was made to go to school

And I was forced to the wall by a teacher who was cruel and unkind

I would raise my hand and say, "I can't find my eraser."

He said, "That's okay. You can use that boy's behind."

When I hit twelve, I had to take care of myself,

And my own little brother because

One dark night, we lost our pa and our ma.

Boy, what a crap game that was.

I went to sea with Uncle Jim, who used to chase the women

He said, "I don't do that no more. I'm retired.

"You see, by time you learn to read women like a book,

"You learn your library card has expired."

You gotta make your money first and you gotta make it fast

That something that can't be denied.

So, I took him at his word,

And I made a lot of money.

And like a fool I made it half an inch too wide!

Oh, it's a hard life

You gotta keep on working and keep on strong

It's a goal to keep on thinking

I'll tell it to the world

It's a hard hard life!

(*reprise*)

Guys like old Smudger Tom who takes your photo at the prom

He gets your photo, but you never get your prints

And good hold Harry Klinger who'se only got one finger

All he steals is Polo mints

And Officer Dill, I love her still

And I mean the still where the gin comes the end

And TipToe Pete comes over the safe with his bare feet

And leaves his prints to the apartment around the bend

All of the fun. Father and son

If crime was a crop, we can reap it

It will be good like Robin Hood

We'll rob from the rich but we'll keep it

You'll hold the ladder as I climb in through the window

And take paintings by Rembrandt and Van Gogh

And if the cops find them in your room

Just claim they're a family heirloom

That was handed down to me by my pop

Oh, it's a hard life

Without a lot of joy

But a hard life

But we really enjoy it

But I wouldn't miss it for the world

Oh, it's a hard - hard life
Dilys Watling

**Dilys Watling** is an English actress, singer and performer best known for her appearances on "The Benny Hill Show." She was born as Dilys Rhys-Jones on May 5, 1942 in Eton, England, the daughter of Jack Watling and Patricia Hicks, and sister of Deborah Watling and Giles Watling, who also became actors.

She attended St Mary's Convent School in Woodford, afterward attending acting school. She went on to act in repertory theatre and at the Bristol Old Vic. She also made occasional film appearances in the movies, "Two Left Feet" and "Theatre of Death" as well as the TV shows, "Coronation Street," "The Benny Hill Show" and "The Two Ronnies." She was nominated for the Tony Award for Best Leading Actress in a Musical for her Broadway debut in the short-lived musical, "Georgy," in 1970. It proved to be her sole Broadway credit.

On "Benny Hill," she starred as a performer and as a sketch character. She sang "That's No Way to Treat a Lady" on December 17, 1975, but she mostly played a shapely lady friend in sketches, such as Jill in the Kojak sketch and The Hungry Bride on March 23, 1977. Her later stage credits beyond the series include the musical "Pickwick, " a 1964 adaptation of Dickens's "The Pickwick Papers," "Sweeney Todd" in the West End in 1980 and the West End multi-media Dave Clark rock musical "Time" in 1986.

Watling has been married twice. She had one child during her marriage with actor Owen Teale before they divorced. Sadly, she passed away on August 10, 2021, after a long illness. She was 79.

## Episode(s)

* Jack and Jill
* A Packed Program

## Gallery

* Dilys and Jackie WrightGo to Jack Wright
1/30
Caron Gardner

**Caron Gardner** is an English actress possibly best known for her roles in "Department S," "The Saint," "Secret Agent" and "Up Jumped a Swagman."

Not much is known about her life and early career. Born January 9, 1941 in London, England, she was Miss London After Dark, promoting British travel during visits to the United States, and attended drama school in London. Her first known film was "The Hellfire Club," followed by roles on television in "BBC Sunday-Night Play," "The Avengers" and Benny Hill's BBC comedy anthology, which was immediately followed by her appearance in "The Evil of Frankenstein," starring Peter Cushing in 1965.

Through 1964 and 1965, she appeared in the movies "A Hard Day's Night" with The Beatles, the James Bond film "Goldfinger" as one of Pussy Galore Girls, reunited with Peter Cushing in "Dr. Terror's House of Horrors," "The Brigand of Kandahar" and "Up Jumped a Swagman." Her roles on British television included multiple appearances on "Crossroads," followed by episodes of "The Plane Makers," "Comedy Playhouse," "Secret Agent," "Love Story," "Mr. Aitch," "Morecambe and Wise" and "The Saint" with future James Bond, Roger Moore.

Gardener also roles in the films "The Fiction-Makers," "Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed" which went uncredited and "Burke & Hare," but she was mostly active in television. She had roles in the TV shows "Honey Lane," "The Champions," "Department S," "The Doctors," "Monty Python's Flying Circus," "Three Piece Suite" and "Tripper's Day." She also had unaccredited roles in "Mister Ten Per Cent" and "The Deadly Bees."

Her last known role was an appearance in "Second Thoughts" in 1992.

## Episode(s)

* The Vanishing Man
* The Secret of Planet Seven
Dennie Bayliss

**Dennie Bayliss** is an English actress possibly best known for her work on stage.

Born in Pinner in northwest London, England, she trained at the Arts Educational School in London, starting her career in the musicals, "Charlie Girl" and "Promises, Promises." She was also a dancer for Paddy Stone at the London Palladium, and later appeared in many TV shows including ATV’s "Paul McCartney Spectacular," BBC’s "Nationwide" and "The Benny Hill Show." She played the gamekeeper's daughter in the "When I Was a Lad" film segment and one of the disrobing sun-bathers with Sue Bond and Cheryl Gilham in the December 27, 1972 episode

Sometimes credited as "Dennie Baylis," Bayliss is very fond of Victorian Music Hall, where she performs at the Players Theater in London and on-board riverboat cruises on the Thames as well as in many cabaret venues in and around London. Her last appearance in a Christmas musical was at the Westminster Theater in "Rupert Bear." Her most recent pantomime part was the title role in Cinderella with Jimmy Edwards at the Congress Theater in Eastbourne. In 1992, she appeared in the film, "The Bill."

## Gallery

1/3
Dee Dee Darlington

**Dee Dee Darlington** is an English actress and dancer probably best known for "The Benny Hill Show." Not much is known about her career. Her first acting role was in the movie "Grand Illusion," followed by appearances in the TV series "Breaking Away" in 1980 and the May 30, 1978 episode of "The Benny Hill Show" where she appeared in the Married Life opening and played Benny Hill's girlfriend in two sketches, the girl who loses a compact down her dress and a mom dressed in leather and pushing a stroller in Digger Blue: Private Eye, later returning in the May 27, 1985 episode playing a bystander at pool side deceived by Jon Jon Keefe and possibly one of the dancers in the "Carmen" number. Her current whereabouts are unknown.

## Episode(s)

* The South Blank Show
* Carmen

## Images

1/15
Beverly Vickers

No information can be found for **Beverly Vickers.** According to the *Sunday Express* (circa 1982-1983), she was identified as one of four new-comers to the 1983 January episode of "The Benny Hill Show." The other new-comers were Pamela Rhatigan (whose name was spelled "Rahatigan" and later identified as Jane Conway), Zoe Hendry (last seen in the March 13, 1974 episode), Corinne Russell (who became a fan favorite), Lindy Benson and Jacqueline Jolivet.

Vickers was possibly a dancer as were many of the Hill's Angels and likely played one of the female soldiers of Wanda the Whip Woman in the Super-Teech sketch; she is possibly the Angel sitting next to Sue Upton in the group "Super-Teech" photo. (However, this just might be Zoe.) She has no IMDB page and searches for her get confused with American actress Yvette Vickers, best known from "Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman" fame.

It is entirely possible she is better known under another name, like Rhatigan, but this is unconfirmed.
Dee Dee Wilde

**Dee Dee Wilde** is an actress, dancer, comedian and choreographer whose TV credits include "Digging the Dancing Queens," "TV's Funniest Music Moments" and "Tales of Television Center."

Born Patricia Alida Marie Wilde on September 24, 1946 in London, England, she and her twin brother, Stuart Wilde, were born of British and Italian descent. Her father was a Commander in the Royal Navy and her mother, Liliana Wilde, was of Italian ancestry. As a child, Dee Dee lived for several years with her family in Africa before moving to England to study ballet at the Elmhurst Ballet School in England.

Showing a preference for modern dance over ballet, Dee Dee co-founded the dance group Pan’s People, the dance troupe on the highly popular TV show "Top Of The Pops" in 1966. The group became highly successful over the next ten years and worked with several of the top music acts, including the Who, David Bowie, Mark Bolan, Tom Jones, Stevie Wonder and the Jackson Five, possibly influence the dance styles of performers such as Michael Jackson, Cilla Black, Lulu and many others.

In addition to "Top of the Pops," Wilde also appeared in the "3-2-1" dance show and the wildly successful "The Benny Hill Show," where she worked behind the scenes as a choreographer in the March 14, 1979 episode and on-screen with Pan's People on April 25, 1979. After several members of Pan's People joined the show as the Hill's Angels, Wilde moved on to working as a choreographer full time. She co-founded The Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy Charity, the largest Rock charity in the world, for autistic and handicapped children in 1975.

In 1981, Wilde and her first husband, Andrew Corbet Burcher, co-produced two West End shows, "The Mad Show" and "Le Cirque Imaginaire" (The Imaginary Circus), the latter featuring Jean Baptiste Thierree and his wife Victoria Chaplin, daughter of Charlie Chaplin. She also formed Dance Attic Studios in Fulham, London which ended up producing many of the dancers and performers appearing in the theaters in the West End.

During the 1990s, Wilde performed in "Erda" as the eponymous character at the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden. A highlight of her career, the role was especially devised for her by Richard Jones, the director of Wagner’s "The Ring Cycle," setting a precedent by being the first person to dance the role rather than sing it.

Still performing and teaching, Wilde lives in Wiltshire with her second husband, composer Henry Marsh. She has two children from her first marriage, Alex Burcher, who is an actor, and Poppy Burcher, an events organiser. They also help run The Dance Attic.

## Episode(s)

* The Police Raid in Waterloo Station - (choreographer)
* Leprechaun TV - (choreographer/dancer)
Carmel Cullen

**Carmel Cullen** is an Australian actress, possibly best known for the films, "Caddie" and "Promised Woman," and the TV-Mini-series, "The Harp in the South."

Not much is known about her life and her career. Her first big break was in the Australian TV-series "Wollongong the Brave," followed by roles in "Glenview High"and "Menotti." She also had small roles in the films "Promised Woman" and "Caddie" in the Seventies. She also had an uncredited role as the housekeeper in the Australian horror flick, "Inn of the Damned." She was also a cast member in Benny Hill's 1977 Special, Benny Hill: Down Under as the servant girl trying to talk Lady Godiva from making her ride.

In 1987, she appeared in the TV mini-series "The Harp in the South." She also had a recurring role in the TV series, "Country Practice." Her last known role was in the TV series, "E Street."

Carmel was married to Kevin Cullen and had one son, artist Adam Cullen,. She passed away in 2011.
Benny Hill: Down Under

## Production

**Episode:** 32

**Date:** October 11, 1977 (Australia), April 12, 1978 (United Kingdom)

**Time:** 1:33:01

**Musical Director:** Jack Grimsley

**Vocals:** The Ladybirds

**Choreography:** Ross Hutchison

**Producer:** Dennis Spencer

**Director:** Rod Kinnear and Richard McCarty

**Writer:** Benny Hill

## Episode

* Opener: Les Girls
* Hold Back The Wind
* The Vagabond
* Dance Sequences
	+ New Avengers
	+ Hawaii 5-0
* The Legend of Benny Kelly
* Lady Godiva
* Love Will Find A Way
* Archie's Angels
* Tag: Seaside Romp

## Highlights

* Hold Back The Wind
* The Legend of Benny Kelly
* Lady Godiva
* Love Will Find a Way
* Archie's Angels - a spoof of the American TV-series "Charlie's Angels"

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Alton Harvey
* Marilyn Natty
* Amber Rodgers
* John Stone
* Alex Pope
* Jim Clifford (as Jimmy Clifford)
* Lee Young
* Carmel Cullem
* Lorna Lesley - Lucy Jardine
* Ron Ratcliffe
* Dawn Cusack
* Julia Daniels
* Victoria Quilter
* Ron Shand
* Max Phipps
* Barry Otto
* Christina Danielle
* Marie T. Ploski
* Doreen Mycock
* Luda Redding
* Cynthia Morisey
* Stuart Wagstaff (uncredited)
* Maurice Murphy (uncredited)
* Nat Nixon (uncredited)
* Les White (uncredited)
* Jackie Wright (uncredited) - Claude
* Jenny Lee-Wright (uncredited) - Claude's maid
* Leslie Goldie (uncredited) - Fifi

## Quotes

* **Big Daddy** - "You can't marry, Lucy Jardine, boy! She's sixteen years old!"
**Big Daddy's Son** - "I know... but she looks twelve!"

* **Lucy Jardine** - "Would you like something to bite on?"
**Benny Hill** - "No, I had a biscuit with my tea."

* **Big Daddy** - "Did you call the doctor?"
**Big Daddy's Son** - "No, daddy, I called the undertaker."
**Big Daddy** - "You called the undertaker?"
**Big Daddy's Son** - "I did what you taught me, daddy. I cut out the middle man!"

## Trivia

* Filmed in Australia with an Australian crew and actors, this episode aired on October 11, 1977 in Australia and on April 12, 1978 in Great Britain.
* The episode starts with eight unidentified dancers performing to the themes of the American TV shows "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," "M\*A\*S\*H\*" and "Hawaii 5-0" Collectively, they were known as the Ross Hutchinson Dancers, but they have yet to be indentified separately.
* The Claude and Fifi sketch ("Love Will Find A Way") is repeated from Top of the Tops from January 27, 1971.
* The party scenes for the Benny the Bum sketch were filmed at the Oatlands House near Sydney, Australia.
* This episode is unavailable on DVD; however, select clips from this episode were chosen to appear in the HBO "Video Sideshow" VHS Collection.

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** A Packed Program
* **Next Episode:** The South Blank Show
Cry of Innocence

## Production

**Episode:** 8

**Date:** December 7, 1962

**Time:** 25:00

**Musical Director:** Ron Grainer

**Vocals:** None

**Choreography:** None

**Producer:** Duncan Wood

**Director:** Tony Abbott

**Writer:** Benny Hill and Dave Freeman

## Episode

The story of Godfrey Bellbine (Benny Hill) who is constantly arrested for no apparent reason by two police detectives (John Gabriel and Roger Avon).

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* John Gabriel
* Ambrosine Phillpotts
* Joan Newell
* Roger Avon
* Yootha Joyce
* Arthur Mullard
* Gordon Phillott
* Howard Douglas
* Ann Lancaster
* Joan Ingram
* Ronnie Brody
* Patsy Smart
* Jennifer Browne
* Robert Raglen
* William Sherwood
* Michael Stainton
* Reg Thompson
* Michael Earl

## Trivia

* This episode is a spoof of the American movie, "The Wrong Man," starring Henry Fonda.

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** The Mystery of Black Bog Manor
* **Next Episode:** The Time Bicycle