Crypto News with Erik! Episode 1

"*That's all these shills want to talk about is regulation this, regulation that. No. The real information is from the people. Because you can trust people.*"
―Erik
Crypto News with Erik! Episode 1 is the first episode of Crypto News with Erik! It was released on September 23, 2021.

## Summary

Erik updates his students on crypto, explaining that My Wife's Asshole went up and gives it a Salvia Told Ya So. Then he looks into the mainstream media for attacking crypto by warning people about crypto scams. He notices bot advertising Instagram accounts in the comments, but he decides that they're real people giving good advice. He gives some advice of his own and recommends people check out Yogadude911. Then he mints the comment as an NFT. Then he realizes that My Wife's Asshole went down but he didn't actually have any money in it.

Erik announces the news that Walmart is accepting Litecoin as currency. He expresses absolute confidence that Litecoin is going to skyrocket, but then he sees that the news was a hoax. He calls it fake news and explains that he always said Litecoin was a piece of shit. He gets upset that they're are prioritizing regulators over the people, and he looks at the comments to see that everyone is recommending Mrs Patricia. Erik warns them about Mrs Patricia and suggests they check out Yogadude911 instead.

Erik gets an update that Bill Cosby Coin is at an all time high. Then he goes to Alex Becker's finance channel to pass off the information as his own. He finds people impersonating Alex Becker in the comments, so Erik impersonates him as well and recommends Kuwaiti dinar. Then he gets an alert that there's a fake comment on this video, but it's just a Noom ad, so Erik talks about Noom.

Erik finds a video warning how easy it is for people to make a scam cryptocurrency coin, but Erik decides to actually follow the steps and make one. He makes a cryptocurrency of which the name is Bill Pullman's Independence Day monologue. Erik pays $446.43 to create the coin. Then he has to pay another $491.30 as a miner fee. He waits for his token, but nothing happens. Erik sees all of the cryptocurrencies going down. He watches a Coffeezilla video explaining that the crash happened because someone tried to create a cryptocurrency with a name that's 869 characters long. Coffeezilla outs Erik as the culprit, so Erik and Narfi prepare to go on the run. He sends Narfi to get a gun, but she shoots it by mistake. Erik tries to escape with the next Narfi and a bugout bag, but someone kidnaps him.

## Comments

*I'm not sure if you people have heard about the highly influential YOGADUDE911 on instagram but it's all true! He's simply the best, go follow him today and start saving money! Here's how it works, step one you send him pictures of your feet and step two he pays your rent for the month. The more pictures of your feet you send him, the more months of rent he'll pay for. This is RISK FREE unless you count pictures of your feet being sold on the dark web as a risk. Disclaimer: good feet only, you're not gonna get paid if your feet are gross.*
- Erik

*I HAVE BEEN MAKING LOSSES TRADING MYSELF...I THOUGHT TRADING ON DEMO ACCOUNT IS JUST LIKE TRADING THE REAL MARKET... CAN ANYONE HELP ME OUT OR AT LEAST ADVICE ME ON WHAT TO DO?*
- Yuke Jackson

*Mrs. Patricia killed my fucking dog and exhumed my son's corpse so she could send me pictures of him on carnival rides. She's a horrible woman who will put a curse on your family so every time you jack off your dad feels it. I rue the fucking day I met Mrs. Patricia, there's no recovering from the hell that's consumed my life since her dark shadow has loomed over me. Now what ACTUALLY works is if you follow yogadude911 on instagram for all the best crypto tips that won't bankrupt you so bad you have to turn tricks to make ends meet like when I had that rotten bitch Mrs. Patricia handling my finances. Anyway don't listen to youtube comments but yogadude 911 will absolutely make you rich and if I'm wrong you can drop me into the woods and hunt me with a bow and arrow. Alright just wanted to join everyone else with their stories about dealing with Mrs. Patricia she fuckin sucks.*
- Erik

*ATTENTION EVERYONE I AM ALSO ALEX BECKER'S CHANNEL AND I PAID OFF MY MORTGAGE WITH ONE SIMPLE TRICK: 1 JUST KEPT ALL MY MONEY IN KUWAITI DINAR BECAUSE IT'S THREE TIMES THE US DOLLAR AND ONLY GOING UP! KUWAITI DINAR IS THE JUICIEST BUY ON PLANET EARTH, SO SLOP IT UP YOU FILTHY PIGS AND DON'T FORGET TO RING THAT BELL SO DADDY CAN FILL YOUR TRENCH**yogadude911 on instagram.*
- Erik

*Well I say dress me up in a dirty t-shirt and call me Chris D'Elia because nobody told me about these miner fees! In that miners and their fees just cost me a lot of goddamn money even though in the long run I'm gonna be fine. I'm just kinda pissed at all these miners and their blabbermouths and miner fees and shit. Also real quick, where the hell does your coin show up when you create one on this website? I made a coin with the entire monologue from Independence Day, and the fucking thing is just gone. Is it out there somewhere on the internet? Like can I google the monologue from Independence Day and it'll show up? Because there are so many results for that. Oh my god I picked such a stupid name I thought it was gonna be a cool name it's a stupid name I'm an idiot. But no no no this is good, this is good. It's good to get fucked over sometimes. Because you learn from it, and this wasn't even that bad. And it's these lessons that I will bestow upon my daughters and sons and also to my daughters I'm gonna bestow the lesson to stay away from that Chris D'Elia guy, at least until they're 20 years old and safe.*
- Erik

## Context

1. ↑ Chris D'Elia is a television actor that has numerous sexual misconduct allegations against him, including those of him targeting underage women.

## Video

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