The Wraith - 15th Anniversary Edition

### Secret message

"18 4-1-8-3-9-8-4 14-5-3-14 14-5-8 9-3-17 18-17 14-5-8 9-7-7-17 2-3-15 13-11-24-5-18-17-24 3-14 9-8."

### Wraps

**Wrap 1**

Mr. Lobo instructs us on the tragic folly of revenge with Fine Young Cannibals lyrics and confirms that yes, Clint Howard is ugly. Roll...*THE WRAITH!*

**Wrap 2**

President Lobo administers the Oath. At least I think that's what happened, it was quick and I got hypnotized.

**Wrap 3**

Mr. Lobo has the FACTS about deadly cars, with a chart and everything! Be the first kid at YOUR school to know how much deadlier the Mach 5 is than Christine! After these commercials.

**Wrap 4**

Mr. Lobo putting on a clinic for elegant product placement. You won't even realize you want an alien ghost car and cheeseburger until it's too late! And speaking of "too late," back to *The Wraith!*

**Wrap 5**

Now I want a car, a cheeseburger, AND hair! The man's a pro!

**Wrap 6**

Mr. Lobo's got a stack of *The Wraith* on VHS and he's not afraid to drop them! Luckily we don't need them because we're going back to...*THE WRAITH!*

**Wrap 7**

Mr. Lobo's on location to interview The Wraith about Sherilynn Fenn, but The Wraith is uncooperative. What's The Wraith hiding?

**Wrap 8**

Mr. Lobo has another exclusive interview, this one with Gutter Boy, Drag Racing Punk #4 in...*The Wraith!* Shame he couldn't land Congressman Skank. Roll reel 4(?) of...*The Wraith!*

**Wrap 9**

Now I want Coca Cola and a burnt corpse! Damn your Spud-like powers of subliminal persuasion, Lobo. Damn them!

**Wrap 10**

Mr. Lobo recaps our story so far (Charlie Sheen has a magic car), and we speed towards reel 5!

**Wrap 11**

Mr. Lobo has paper dolls and Johnny Depp playing against type as a person with good hygiene. Roll commercials!

**Wrap 12**

Mr. Lobo for the tourist board of Tuscon, Arizona: "The Poor Man's Haiti!" Now, back to the movie.

**Wrap 13**

Mr. Lobo and dissociative identity disorder, for The Wraith official soundtrack.

**Wrap 14**

Mr. Lobo assesses The Wraith's production budget while solving a Rubik's Cube. I know you don't believe me, so watch it for yourself. Now, the conclusion of...*THE WRAITH!*

**Wrap 15**

Mr. Lobo explains the tragic implications of the ending of tonight's feature. Poor Emilio. Goodnight!

### Ads

* AMF Roadmaster Evel Knevel Bicycles
* Kung-Fu Fridays on OSI74
* OSI74 Thank Jar for Aaron M. Lane (http://www.paypal.me/lanefilmtld)
* "Rad" Abrams, Razor Scooter Attorney
* OSI74 (Cow Abduction)
* The Church of the Subgenius, with Reverend Ivan Stang
* Preacher Features on OSI74
* OSI74 (Alien)
* Ford Pinto
* UnSports 74 on OSI74
* OSI74 T-Shirts with "Chaz" (Annoying Person)
* Carl's Jr (starring David Hasselhoff)
* Good Nite Mattress (starring Clint Howard)
* Pop Culture Americana on OSI74
* Bizarre Transmissions from the Bermuda Triangle on OSI74
* Audio/Video Plus
* Sleazy Pictures After Dark on OSI74
* Dark Carnival on OSI74
* Parker Brothers, Rom the Space Night
* Miller Lite (starring Randy Quaid)
* Tombstone Pizza
* 12:01 Beyond on OSI74
* Vance Capley's Spookshow on OSI74
* Pantry Manor on OSI74
* Five Guys Burgers and Fries
* Kabukiman's Cocktail Corner on OSI74
* Bulldada Music on OSI74
* Goodyear Double Eagle Tires
* Advanced Dermatology Centers (starring Gillian Anderson and her debilitating acne)
* Pringles (starring Brad Pitt)
* Hypnosis for Hipsters (available in the OSI74 shop)
* Preparation H (starring Brian Cranston)
* Burger King (starring Ben Affleck)
* Knight Rider
* Toybiz Ghost Rider action figures
* Rat Bastards TV on OSI74
* Somethin' Suave Theater on OSI74
* OSI74 Thank Jar for Mr. Lobo and Dixie (http://www.paypal.me/MisterLobo)
* Candles, Krankor and You
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* Pacific NorthWEIRD on OSI74
* Georgia canned coffee, with Agent Dale Cooper
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* Sgt. Slaughter
* Here Lies on OSI74

### Trailers

* *Christine* (1983)
* *Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swan* (1982)
* *The Cannonball Run* (1981)
* *The Ice Cream Man* (1995)
* *Howard the Duck* (1986)
* *The Wild One* (1953)
* *Repo Man* (1984)
* *Smokey and the Bandit Part 3* (1983)
* *The Chase* (1994)
* *Duel* (1971)

### Cast

* Mr. Lobo...Mister Lobo
* The Wraith...Chris Grill

### Quotes

"*Tonight's feature has no redeemable content whatsoever, and does not necessarily reflect the values of Cinema Insomnia, this station, its parent company, or our dark overlord, Lee Iacocca.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*When we get behind the wheel of revenge, are we really driving, or is revenge driving us? A wise man once said, "she drives me crazy, and I can't help myself." Wait, that was Fine Young Cannibals.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*This show is dedicated to the class of 1986, and those simpler times when a few starry eyed Hollywood kids could bring to life the timeless story of a ghost car from space that kills people, with little more than a small production budget, a thin script, a few muscle cars, some blackmail photos of Sherilynn Fenn, and a lot of good old-fashioned nepotism. Daddy's boys Charlie Sheen and Nick Cassavetes, and ugly guys with famous brothers, Clint Howard and Randy Quaid, combine their "relative" star power in tonight's feature, The Wraith.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*When he's not paddling a rubber raft, Charlie Sheen is driving the killer car from tonight's film,* The Wraith*. How deadly is the Wraith car? Well I'm glad you asked. It's deadlier than K.I.T.T. from TV's* Knight Rider*, which seemed to mow down more chain link fences than bad guys. Deadlier than the Batmobile, which only killed a few fans in an auto show mishap. Both Stephen King's Christine and The Wraith mowed down about a half dozen local punks, eating the dust of our heavy hitters like* Speed Racer's *Mach 5, which managed to run his competitors off the road to a fiery death in every show. And our deadliest car? Well of course, the Ford Pinto.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*Tonight's ABC after-school revenge fantasy is brought to you in part by the Turbo Interceptor and your Arizona Dodge dealer. I L-O-V-E my P-R-O-D-U-C-T placement. And by Big Kay's Burgers, home of the Wraith Burger. It's super cheesy.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*Mr. Wraith: now I know you don't like to talk about your spirituality, so I'm going to ask you about Sherilynn Fenn. Is she a good kisser? Um, will she co-star in the two new films with you, uh,* The Wraith Goes to Monte Carlo *or* The Wraith Goes Bananas*?*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*Charlie Sheen is a ghostly turbo teen resurrected by a magical car from the planet Chrysler, to seek revenge. And now, it's* American Graffiti *as Stephen King always envisioned it, reel 5...of* The Wraith.'**"**
—Mr. Lobo
"*We at Cinema Insomnia like to show Hollywood heartthrobs in their earliest and most embarrassing roles. Why? Well, because we can. Coming soon to Cinema Insomnia, a young Johnny Depp in an educational film we dug up entitled,* Problem Stains, Problem Odors: A Teen's Guide to Grooming and Hygiene*.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*Visit Arizona! We don't observe daylight savings time, Martin Luther King Day, or the laws of physics. We do whatever we damn well want. Arizona teenagers all own custom cars, never go to school, and no one has parents. Hooray, that means Big Kay Burgers every day. Why not write Congressman Skank for this free booklet on Arizona?*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*Schizophrenic music lovers: why not pick up a copy of The Wraith soundtrack? Ozzy and Motley Crue for the stoner in you, Robert Palmer and Bonnie Tyler for the recently divorced soccer mom in you. In stores now.*"
—Mr. Lobo

## *The Wraith*

### Edited by

Scott Conrad
Gary Rocklen

### Music by

Michael Hoenig
J. Peter Robinson

### Cast

Charlie Sheen
Nick Cassavetes
Sherilyn Fenn
Randy Quaid
Clint Howard

### Runtime

93 minutes

Clint Howard is in it, and he looks like this