In the Beginning

**In the Beginning** is the first mission of *Crosscraft and the Overcraft*.

## Transcript

### Intro

* **Orange**: Hey Apple! Apple! Hey! Hey Apple! Hey! Apple! Hey Apple! Hey Apple! Apple! Hey! Hey Apple!

* **Apple**: What? What? What is it?!

* **Annoying Orange**: Orange ya glad I didn't say "Apple" again? (laughing)

* **Apple**: Yeah, yeah. That joke was funny the first 400 times you said it.

* **Annoying Orange**: Hey Apple!

* **Apple**: What?

* **Annoying Orange**: You look fruity. (laughing)

* **Apple**: Yeah, th-that was hilarious.

* **Annoying Orange**: Hey! Hey, Apple!

* **Apple**: What?

* **Annoying Orange**: Can you do 10 push-ups in 10 seconds?

* **Apple**: What kind of question is that? I don't even have arms. How am I gonna do 1 push-up?

* **Annoying Orange**: Hey!

* **Apple**: What?

* **Annoying Orange**: Hey Apple!

* **Apple**: What?!

* **Annoying Orange**: Can you do this? (tongue flips)

* **Apple**: No!

* **Annoying Orange**: (after stopping) Try it!

* **Apple**: No! Stop it

* *"(Orange continues)"*

* **Apple**: Okay, you've made your point. Stop it!!

* *(Tongue flip continues)*

* *APPLE*: WOULD YOU PLEASE BE QUIET?!?! For cryin' out loud, would you stop yammering for longer than 3 seconds?! I can't even hear myself think!! AAHH!!

* *(hyperventalating)*

* **Annoying Orange**: Hey, Apple!

* **Apple**: WHAT?!?!

* **Annoying Orange**: Knife.

* **Apple**: Huh? (slicing sound) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* **Annoying Orange**: Ooh. Ah. I-I warned you. Ow. That looks like it hurts.

* **Apple**: NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH............

* **Annoying Orange**: Tried to warn him.

* *(long silence)*

* **Annoying Orange**: Hey, Pear!

* **Pear**: Oh, God.

### Game

* **Phineas E. Sherman**: I'm gonna show you Sugar Rush!

### Outro

**Ralph**: *(voice-over.)* My name's Ralph and I'm a bad guy. Ah... Let's see I'm 9 feet tall. I weigh 643 pounds. Got a little bit of a temper on me. *(in game.)* Hey, you moved my stump! *(voice-over.)* My passion bubbles very near the surface, I guess, I'm not gonna lie. Any who, what else? Uh... I'm a wrecker. I wreck things. Professionally. *(in game.)* I'm gonna wreck it! *(voice-over.)* I mean, I'm very good at what I do. Probably the best I know. The thing is, fixing is the name of the game. Literally, "Fix-It Felix, Jr".
**Nicelanders**: Fix it, Felix!
**Fix-It Felix Jr**: I can fix it!
**Ralph**: *(voice-over.)* So, yeah, naturally the guy with the name Fix-it Felix is the good guy. He's nice enough as good guys go. Definitely fixes stuff really well. But, uh, if you got a magic hammer from your father, how hard can it be? If he was a regular contractor, carpenter guy, I guarantee you would not be able to fix the damage that I do, as quickly. And when Felix does a good job, he gets a medal. But are there medals for wrecking stuff really well? To that I say, "HAAH!". And, no, there aren't.
*(indistinct conversation.)*
**Kid 1**: So cool!
**Kid 2**: This animation is so real!
**Ralph**: *(voice-over.)* 30 years I've seen doing this and I've seen a lot of other games come and go. Kinda sad. I think about all those guys from Asteroids? Boom! ...Gone. Centipede? Who knows where that guy is. You know? Look, a steady arcade gig is nothing to sneeze at. I'm very lucky. It's just... I gotta say, it becomes kinda hard to love your job when no one seems to like you for doing it.
[*all humans leave arcade*]
**Yuni Verse (Dance Dance Revolution)**: All clear! The arcade is closed!
**Ryu (Street Fighter)**: Shoryuken! Woo… what a day. So, you wanna head to Tappers, Ken?
**Ken (Street Fighter)**: If you’re buyin’ buddy.
[*in Fix-It Felix, Jr’s game*]
**Fix-It Felix, Jr**: Quittin’ time!
**Ralph**: (*voiceover*) I dunno! Maybe I won’t be feeling this way if things were different after work. But… it is what it is.
**Fix-It Felix, Jr**: Good job, everyone!
**Ralph**: (*voiceover*) Felix and the Nicelanders go hang out in their homes… which he just fixed and every… you know… They go to their homes, I go to mine… which happens to be… a dump. And when I say "a dump", I don’t mean like a shabby place. I mean an actual dump. Where the garbage goes and a bunch of bricks… and smashed building parts. That’s… That’s what I call home. I guess I can’t bellyache too much. I got my bricks, I got my stump. It looks uncomfortable, it’s actually fine. I’m good. But… if I’m really honest with myself, I see Felix up there… getting patted on the back. People are giving him pie. Thanking him and.. so happy to see him all the time. Sometimes I think… Man! Sure must be nice being the good guy!