Imperium News

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> Our people weren’t saved by Blaze Supreme. They were spared for some godd\*\*n reason. Here on this island, you call this living? You call this a f\*\*king nation? Under that d\*\*n leader Glaze Supreme.
>
> -Smith James, Former Imperium News Anchor

## | About

Imperium News (IN) is the official news outlet of the Imperial Bestellen and its territories. Created on February 25, 2022, IN is the go-to state-controlled media for reliable and up to date coverage on recent happenings across the Motherland. IN is known for its emphasis on praise towards the glorious leader and the Motherland, its frequent replacement of news anchors, and constant indoctrination of death before dishonor. IN is sponsored by Doritos, which is headquartered in Imperium.

## | Transcripts

### Transcript Obtained From Imperium News (February 25, 2022)

*Intro music plays*

Marsha Banks: Good morning, Imperium. I’m Marsha Banks, your co-anchor for today, detailing the recent events between The Imperial Bestellen and Heshlo.

*Insert artist illustration of described event*

Marsha Banks: In a public statement from Heshlo at the last United Nations meeting, claims were made to Blaze Supreme to surrender, as Heshlo will soon subjugate the Imperial Bestellen. Heshlo high command did provide insight as to why they wish to subjugate the Imperial Bestellen, stating, “To free those who are held against their will, and further the protection and rights of man.”

*Display memes from social media*

Marsh Banks (Voice Over): Following the release of this statement, social media was quick to respond. Already posting a variety of memes in response to Heshlo’s statement. #hateheshlo or #hh for short is currently the number two trending hashtag and rising.

*Cut back to camera feed in studio*

Marsha Banks: Later that day, our glorious leader Blaze Supreme broadcasted an official statement. Condemning Heshlo for their actions. As well as emphasizing on the unity of the Imperial Bestellen and its people, making it clear that we will not back down.

Now onto Samantha Davidson, live on the ground to speak with the citizens of the Imperial Bestellen. Remember, death before dishonor.

*Switch to live feed on the ground*

Samantha Davidson: Hello, I’m Samantha Davidson reporting live on the streets of Imperium. As you can clearly see, citizens are marching down the streets, holding signs displaying words of anger towards Heshlo. Recruitment for the Imperial Bestellen Military and the PPDC increased, as men and women rushed to recruitment centers to sign up. Citizens, although not knowing what lies ahead, are willing to die for our country. Classes of all types are unifying as one, worker, erudite, and military. Now back to Marsha Banks, after this quick commercial break. Remember, death before dishonor.

*Play commercial*

You’re not you when you’re hungry. Eat some Doritos.

*End commercial*

*Cut back to camera feed in studio*

Marsha Banks: Yes, indeed Samantha, brave men and women are willing to give their lives for this wonderful country. We thank them for their service towards the motherland and our glorious leader. In other events, the Imperial Bestellen economy has gone up drastically. With recent orders from Blaze Supreme to prepare for the potential of war, industry has gone up. With the nation preparing to go into a state of “total war”. Approval ratings for Blaze Supreme have also gone up. With many following Blaze Supreme in his words to stand united as one against Heshlo. Regardless of rising hostility towards Heshlo for their unjust actions, Blaze Supreme has made it clear that the Imperial Bestellen is open for diplomacy between the two superpowers. That’s all for now, stay tuned as Imperium News continues to provide you with live updates on the current situation. Remember, death before dishonor.

*Play outro music*

**End Transcript Obtained From Imperium News**

### Transcript Obtained From Imperium News (March 5, 2022)

*Intro music plays*

Marsha Banks: Good morning, Imperium. I’m Marsha Banks, your co-anchor for today, here to talk to you about the recent events that have unfolded today between Heshlo and New Kislev.

*Display satellite footage*

Marsh Banks (Voice Over): Following the launch of Kislev’s new space program, Kislev’s spacecraft was approached by an unidentified object. This unidentified object orbited near the spacecraft in a threatening manner. Kislev attempted to make contact with the object, and even reached out to other nations to help identify it.

*Cut back to camera feed in studio*

Marsh Banks: After all attempts had failed, Kislev proceeded to attack the object out of self-defense. According to IB Intelligence, the object proceeded to call for reinforcements, and attack the Kislev spacecraft, utilizing plasma weapons. It was then later confirmed that the object was Heshlo made and operated, thus it was Heshlo that had violated the Anti-WMDs In Space Doctrine. Following these events, talks endured between the leaders of Kislev and Heshlo. As of now the two nations will remain at peace, with no further hostility.

In other events, the Trade Federation is working towards getting Morrowind Coffee approved for operations within the Imperial Bestellen. From what I’ve heard, Morrowind Coffee is some of the best coffee on Mars!

That’s all for now, stay tuned as Imperium News continues to provide you with live updates on current events. Remember, death before dishonor.

*Play outro music*

**End Transcript Obtained From Imperium News**

### Transcript Obtained From Imperium News (March 16, 2022)

*Intro music plays*

Marsha Banks: Good morning, Imperium. I’m Marsha Banks, your co-anchor for today, here to discuss some breaking news.

In a recent turn of events, the Imperial Bestellen has been kicked out of the United Nations. This occurred following Heshlo’s attempt to rally the other nations of the world against our beloved nation. Accusations were made towards our culture and way of life, with claims being made that our freedoms are restricted.

*Display online polls*

Marsha Banks (Voice Over): After conducting some recent online polls, the majority of citizens either claimed that they did not care or that they believed that losing some of their rights was a price to pay to receive all the benefits of living within the Imperial Bestellen. Social media was quick to respond against those who disagreed.

*Cut back to camera feed in studio*

Marsha Banks: Heshlo also presented footage of Jews and Sigmarians being killed by the Imperial Bestellen Military. Although confirmed to be true, these actions are justified as the Imperial Bestellen Military and PPDC were protecting us from intruders. As the Jews and Sigmarians had crossed the borders illegally. It was later confirmed that Morrowind was responsible for this. Blaze Supreme, being the kind and loving leader that he is, pardoned Morrowind for their crimes. However, the story doesn’t end there. At the UN meeting, Morrowind was a supporter of the attack on the Imperial Bestellen and its citizens. Blaze Supreme was quick to respond, banning the import and export of goods to and from Morrowind. The same restrictions were applied with Heshlo as well. The Trade Federation was also quick to respond, halting the approval process for Morrowind Coffee. Cheeto sales have gone up, however.

*Display satellite footage*

Marsha Banks (Voice Over): Citizens of the Imperial Bestellen continue to show disapproval of Heshlo and their actions. Especially after a recent clip has begun to surface on social media. This clip as seen right before you, showcases Heshlo military slaughtering Avalonian citizens by the thousands. Citizens, believing that this will happen to them next, has sparked another increase for recruitment for the Imperial Bestellen Military and the PPDC.

*Display satellite footage of Heshlo vehicle*

Marsha Banks (Voice Over): Moving on, as seen in this footage obtained from Imperial Bestellen satellites, a large Heshlo made military vehicle is moving across the continent. This has angered citizens as the sun has been blocked in certain regions, angering farmers. Let’s go to Samantha who is on the ground interviewing one of the farmers. Remember, death before dishonor.

*Switch to live feed on the ground*

Samantha Davidson: Hello, I’m Samantha Davidson reporting live here in the farmland regions of the Imperial Bestellen, speaking with a local farmer.

Farmer Joe: Those d\*\*n Heshlos. Trying to cover up my sunlight. They can go f\*\*k themselves.

Samantha Davison: Some strong words from just a humble farmer. Now back to you Marsha. Remember, death before dishonor.

*Switch back to live feed in studio*

Marsha Banks: Some strong words indeed Samantha. In spite of this, the Erudite class has begun research and production of new means of farming, such as vertical farming. Which is said to be a more effective form of farming that will produce more crops for less space. Finally, Blaze Supreme has increased diplomatic relations between the Imperial Bestellen and the mushrooms. As any threat towards the Imperial Bestellen puts the mushrooms at risk as well. Blaze Supreme has agreed to protect the mushrooms in the event of an attack. That’s all for now, stay tuned as Imperium News continues to provide you with live updates on current events. Remember, death before dishonor.

*Play outro music*

**End Transcript Obtained From Imperium News**

### Transcript Obtained From Imperium News (June 10, 2022)

*Intro music plays*

Sarah Banks: Good morning, Imperium. I’m Sarah Banks, your co-anchor for today.

Johnathan Miller: And I’m Johnathan Miller, your other co-anchor for today. In this morning’s proceedings, we will be celebrating the Imperial Bestellen’s 500th anniversary in which our former glorious leader, Blaze Supreme, gave his life alongside countless others to ensure the continuation of the Imperial Bestellen and the motherland.

Sarah Banks: That’s right Johnathan. This year’s anniversary is going to kick off with a military parade through the streets of Imperium, graciously conducted by the PPDC. Following the parade, our glorious leader Glaze Supreme will address the nation with one of his many empowering speeches.

Johnathan Miller. Empowering indeed. His words are what get me out of bed in the morning, ready to serve the motherland.

Sarah Banks: In other news, IBR is now finally in a state to resume operations within Imperium. Providing thousands of jobs to citizens of all classes. Official statements from the CEO of IBR, Lawrence Robertson, confirm that their first priority is to supply and expand the PPDC and its several branches.

Johnathan Miller: Just from hearing that, I feel safer already.

Sarah Banks: Indeed Johnathan, indeed. We will be right back with more news after this quick commercial break. Remember, death before dishonor.

*Play commercial*

Random Person: You, yes you. Have you or anyone that you know seen fellow citizens attending large gatherings in which they pray to a being of sorts? Or maybe they have been conducting these practices in their own homes? Have you or anyone that you know experienced a situation in which they witnessed a citizen spreading word of a god or sigmar? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, please report said citizen to your nearest SS officer. Under the recent Nuremberg Laws, it is our job to keep these treason committing bastards off the streets. To prevent them from indoctrinating our innocent children. Thank you for your time. Remember, death before dishonor.

*End commercial*

Sarah Banks: In a more recent statement, Glaze Supreme has announced the start of the Quality Improvement Project, or QIP. In which the government is committed to opening up several new parks and monuments to the public. Many of these parks will feature statues similar to those of the monuments, depicting former leader Blaze Supreme and current leader Glaze Supreme in all their glory.

Johnathan Smith: This has sparked an increase in the ratings for Glaze Supreme. As citizens all over the Imperial Bestellen celebrate our wonderful history.

Sarah Banks: In other news, rumors have begun regarding a large war between the United States of Sigmar and Heshlo. Not much is known regarding this war, aside from the Shlong Observer 5000 spotting several Sigmonian ships leaving the Mars atmosphere. The cause of the war and any participation from Avalon or Morrowind have not been confirmed. We will continue to update you on this war as the situation unfolds.

Johnathan Smith: That’s all for now, stay tuned as Imperium News continues to provide you with live updates on current events.

Sarah Banks: Have a great day everyone. Remember, death before dishonor.

*Play outro music*

**End Transcript Obtained From Imperium News**

### Deleted Transcript Obtained From <Unknown> (June 10, 2022)

*Intro music plays*

Sarah Banks: Good morning, Imperium. I’m Sarah Banks, your co-anchor for today.

Smith James: And I’m Smith James, your other co-anchor for today. In this morning’s proceedings, we will be celebrating the Imperial Bestellen’s 500th anniversary in which our former glorious leader, Blaze Supreme, gave his life alongside countless others to ensure the… continuation of the… Imperial… Bestellen and the… motherland.

<Citizen C-137 displays signs of hesitation. Heart rate has increased. Over.>

<Copy that. Proceed with recordings. Over.>

<Copy.>

Sarah Banks: That’s right Smith. This year’s anniversary is going to kick off with a military parade through the streets of Imperium, graciously conducted by the PPDC. Following the parade, our glorious leader Glaze Supreme…

Smith James: No, I can’t.

Sarah Banks: What are you doing Smith?

Smith James: 500 years later and our people are still being fed lies.

<We have a situation. C-137 is showing signs of anger. Current scene has been interrupted. Over.>

Smith James: Our people weren’t saved by Blaze Supreme. They were spared for some godd\*\*n reason. Here on this island, you call this living? You call this a f\*\*king nation? Under that d\*\*n leader Glaze Supreme.

<Copy. Neutralize him. Over.>

Smith James: Haven’t you all heard? He’s been touching…

<Neutralize him now godd\*mmit!>

*Gunshots are heard from within the studio*

Smith James: our… awdhjhwad… adhwajdwa… awdukgjhir… … … .. . . .

*Sarah Banks is heard screaming*

<Target neutralized. Repeat. Citizen C-137 has been neutralized. Over.>

<Copy that. Databases have been updated. C-137 has been erased from our systems. Over.>

Sarah Banks: Um... well… I… don’t really know… what to… say…

<Cut the recording. Cut it now!>

*Play outro music*

**End Deleted Transcript Obtained From <Unknown>**