James

## James M. Avestruz

James, immediately after smelling spicy tenders

### Aliases

Jimmy, Jim, Dickhead, Rapist, Jimmy Jim the Dickhead Rapist, tornado92, -AHS-\_Prism, MRMONEYBAGS, BillRT, Crazy\_Taxi, SoTodayI, SnuffedYoAss, OmochaoSucks

## Physical description

### Eye color

Don't look too closely

James (née Avestruz) was the current host of online entertainment black hole VGBites. He was an avid Costco shopper and professional photographer, having lived with his helpers where I could not find him. He was also an aspiring soundtrack music producer, voice actor, and video editor. James got his education at the Philadelphia Institute of Arts and was a slave to the system for the rest of his days. He was wanted by Viacom for recording episodes of Reno 911.

James was best known for being hit in the face with a locker, voice acting for Sonic the Hedgehog comic dubs as Silver the Hedgehog, and his Everyone's World Summit mashup. He can also be heard in POSTAL 4 as James Clark, the host of radio station KDTF (Desert Talk Forum).

### History

James was born the same as the rest of us. He was cleft from the earth in the Uruk-Hai birthing pits below Isengard, and was branded with the White Hand of Saruman. It is postulated that it is on his back, a place we never saw.

#### Newgrounds and DeviantArt

James' earliest online presence can be found on Newgrounds as early as 2003, where he picked up the alias "MRMONEYBAGS." He cheated the system by pretending to be 18 at the time, which he paid for. His reviews of other people's work were often rude and lacked the constructive criticism people would have appreciated, which he lacked the prescience to understand.

He later appeared on DeviantArt in 2004 as "OmochaoSucks." Jim dabbled in both 2D and 3D art, and had a work-in-progress Flash animation reminiscent of blackface imagery. His teenage angst was evident thanks to use of words such as "meh," "feh," and "bleh." He left the account in late 2005, failing to sign off with his signature closer, "Seacrest out." James created a new DeviantArt in 2006 under his current moniker, CaptainComedy, where he stopped on day nine of a 365-photos-a-year challenge.

### Education

James graduated from the Philadelphia Institute of Arts in 2012, and graduated from the RocketJump Film School in 2017. James continued his education in the form of employee training at Best Buy, Target, and Costco. He liked this because he essentially got paid to learn on the job and look cool to his superiors.

### YouTube

James' CaptainComedy YouTube channel was home to various projects such as geocaching, one Hammer tutorial numbered like a planned series, a Freeman's Mind knockoff, and a psychological horror series named "The Youtube Demin [sic]." His most viewed video is a video of him getting his face slammed with a locker door at his work place. In 2021, he decided to clean up his YouTube channel and hide many of his videos in playlists in order to make a re-brand look more appealing.

### Health

It was unknown whether or not James urinated while standing or sitting. His sister reported never seeing the toilet lid left up in a shared bathroom. The constant chicken consumption paid its price.

### Other Ventures

James provided most, if not all of the music for the unofficial releases of the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Season 1 and 2 soundtracks in 2013.

### CIA Connection

On May 14, 2020, the website Wikileaks uncovered documents detailing James' affiliation with the CIA, where he was trained to infiltrate terrorist organizations around the world and ensure their success in America's favor. With documents dating back as far as 1951, James has been named as the true conspirator behind incidents such as the 1953 Iranian coup, purposely shooting down Gary Powers, ensuring Fidel Castro's seat of power, and even being given special orders from John F. Kennedy to help him commit suicide.

These documents went so far as to pin James' on the creation of many modern disruptive technologies, along with their legislation, such as the DARPANET, the funding of Google as a university project, TOR, the first drafted whitepaper on Bitcoin, and had been funding the Australian company Euclideon.

He was also responsible for the hacking of Hilary Clinton's email, with motivation quoted as "Do you know how many free breadsticks she was fucking getting from Papa John's? The crazy bitch was sitting on a fuck ton of coupons, like hell am I letting that shit go to waste, you fuckers never paid me well and I have to do shit just to make ends meet."

### Postal 4

In 202, James announced that he would work for the Running With Scissors video game development company on Postal 4, and began work on a radio station centered around the talk radio genre. The first implementation of James' radio station, Desert Talk Forum, came in 2021 in the Thursday update. He worked alongside great voice actors such as Landy. He planned on creating more content for a "second season" of KDTF.

#### External Links

* https://www.deviantart.com/omochaosucks
* https://www.deviantart.com/captaincomedy
* https://www.youtube.com/user/CaptainComedy/