Can't Get a Date

"Can't Get a Date" is a 2006 reality/documentary television series that aired simultaneously on VH1 and LOGO networks. Because Logo was in it's infancy as a network, with very little content, the program aired in heavy rotation. It was available for free viewing on their website for several years, and then sold exclusively to Netflix on a custom DVD that was not made commercially available.

**As it Aired**

The show followed a group of New Yorkers around in their day to day lives in an attempt to help them find romance by fixing things perceived to be wrong with them. Each participant in the show interacted with an off-screen voice, the 'narrator', who would question their decision making and follow them on various activities designed to improve their life and make them more dateable.

James appeared in what is considered to have been the most high profile episode of the show, with a considerably higher budget than other episodes. He was depicted as a high maintenance diva who needed an attitude adjustment and was constantly at odds with the narrator. He was initially described as a lethargic, overweight slacker who had lost control of his life and motivation to pursue a career as a singer and any attempt at finding a boyfriend.

On the show he was given a personal trainer, a hairdresser and a stylist. He was put on a Jenny Craig diet and given a period of two months to lose weight and get in shape. He also met and began working with guitarist Toshio Mana. He is ultimately paired with a guy named John, and performs a high profile performance with a band at the legendary cabaret The Duplex. The show goes extremely well, but his date with John fizzles in great part due to James' bad attitude.

Ultimately James is depicted as a failure for having not greatly improved his lifestyle or outlook and for having a terrible date, even though James' attitude seems to have improved in terms of his outlook on the future.

**Behind the Scenes**

After the show began airing, James spoke out on his own MySpace page and several TV website forums about his dissatisfaction with the final show edit. Despite knowing the potential for reality television to warp an accurate depiction of events, he was surprised at how much had been spun to create a portrait of events that was unfair.

In particular he felt that the third act of the episode, involving his live performance and failed date, extremely misrepresented things. On the website "Television Without Pity", he stated:

*"When it was finally time for me to choose a date, they asked me to find a potential date myself with very short notice. I found a guy on a gay dating website, and then they gave us a list of suggested activities for our date. We talked it over and chose a couples massage, but then they insisted instead that I do this live performance at The Duplex and have him sit in the audience. This sounds good on paper, but when you're on a first date the last thing you want is to have your date sit for two hours and look at you without being able to interact. When you add to that the pressure and intensity of doing a performance for a hundred people, and then you immediately go out on a date with someone you don't know? It's not a good formula.*

*Then there was the fact that I didn't have a band! So I had to put together a brand new band in basically a day, we had one day to rehearse an entire show of music, and then we were on stage the next day. I was exhausted, I was stressed, and by the time we were on our date it was midnight. So we're at this French restaurant and this guy is whining about how he can't order a burger, and I immediately knew it wasn't a match, so I kind of mentally checked out.*

*But the part that really bothered me is that this guy was Jewish, which is great! But he worked as a receptionist at a Catholic school, which I thought was fascinating. So I start to say to him "So, you're a Jew, but you work at a Catholic school. What's that like?" But instead I say "So, you're a Jew," and before I can continue he corrects me and says I should say "Jewish person", and I was just kind of done. Because...really? Like, pick your battles I guess. So in the end I looked like a vaguely antisemitic, stuck-up bitch, and that was diappointing."*

**The Aftermath**

James' appearance on the show lead to a renewed interest in him professionally. He continued to collaborate and perform with Toshio Mana for 7 years. Press and appearance related to the show included some high profile things, notably a chance to guest host a radio show for Sirius OutQ Radio. He became prolific for doing free performances at at LGBTQIA+ related charity and pride events, and for a time was a staple performer at Rainbow Resort in the Poconos.

Ultimately the residual interest from having done the show waned, and Toshio Mana relocated to another part of the country.