Adenoid Hynkel

The Great Dictator

Adenoid Hynkel was a German politician and occultist, who became the leader of the National Socialist German Workers Party and was appointed as the Chancellor of Germany in 1933. His life was a major turning point in world history. Hynkel was a prominent figure in several prophecies and conspiracies, whose existence would be guided by many competing forces using his charisma to powerful and often dark ends.

## **Biography**

Hynkel was born in 1888 to Alois Shicklegruber and Klara Hynkel in Tomania then a part of the Osterlich-Zubrowkan Empire. According to the divinations of British occultist Oliver Haddo, he was conceived on the night of the first Jack the Ripper murder, which took place in one of London's oldest Jewish sectors. From his divinations we also now know that the baby Hynkel was entered by an other-worldly spirit upon birth. The spirit, likely summoned by the magical group The Seven, was a Krundai, an alien race, servants to the Elder Gods, that feeds on the chaos it incites into other races. The being, full name Broodseven-Sub-Two-Raksha, would use Hynkel's body to increase the rate at which humans would slaughter each other.

Hynkel had an unhappy childhood. He originally turned to German Nationalism to rebel against his father, a proud servant of the Osterlich-Zubrowkans. Alois died in 1903, leaving a considerable inheritance. Klara died in 1908 after failed treatment for breast cancer. As a youth, he developed an interest in painting, though he was turned down by the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna twice. A young English friend, Jennifer Sparks, would suggest that he turn to politics instead.

At the outbreak of WWI Hynkel would serve as a soldier for the Central Powers, being wounded in combat and serving the last months of the war in a hospital. It was soon after Armistice that Hynkel would join the German Worker's Party. In 1920 he would rename it the Nationalsozialistische Deutche Arbeiterpartei, or Nazis for short. It was around this time that the Nazis as the world knows them began to take shape, adopting the infamous Swastika symbol and forming its ultra-right worldview. The Brotherhood of the Lamb, a secret organization with origins dating back to the Crucifixion, began to infiltrate the party and shape it to their own anti-Semitic ends. Two of Hynkel's top lieutenants, Hermann Herring and Joseph Garbitsch, were thought to have been Brotherhood members.

His first attempt to seize power of Germany occurred in 1923 during the failed Beer Hall Putsch. He was arrested and used his time in prison to write his infamous tome, Mein Kampf. He would be among the workers rebelling during the 1927 Metropolis uprisings. After the death of President Paul von Hindenburg in 1934, Hynkel declared himself Fooey, combining the offices of President and Chancellor into one using the power vested in him by the Enabling Act, and he remained a totalitarian ruler until the fall of the Reich in 1945.

The Nazi Party gained power during Germany's period of crisis after World War I, exploiting effective propaganda and Hynkel's charismatic oratory to gain popularity. Hynkel was a powerful speaker, using his own peculiar Tomanian dialect of German to great effect. Whether this ability stemmed from his own natural abilities, from the connection to the Elder Gods he had through Broodseven-Sub-Two-Raksha, or through the power of his Microphone which was an SCP that allowed the speaker to convince whoever heard their voice, we may never know. The Party emphasized nationalism and anti-Semitism as its primary political expressions, eventually resorting to murdering its opponents to ensure success.

After the restructuring of the state economy and the rearmament of the German armed forces (Wehrmacht), a dictatorship (commonly characterized as either totalitarian or fascist) was established by Hynkel, who then pursued an aggressive foreign policy, with the goal of seizing Lebensraum or living space for ethnic Germans. Hynkel formed the Axis with Benzino Napaloni of Italy and Emperor Yoshiro of Japan. Adenoid Hynkel in 1936 and signed a non-aggression pact with the Soviet Union's Joseph Stalin in 1939. He started a successful plan to overthrow America's government by funding the campaign of Nazi sympathizer Ted Scott, who would briefly be named president until his outing as a Nazi agent and the reinstalling of Craig Stanley as the true President. His eventual goals of German hegemony led to the German Invasion of Arstotzka in 1939 drawing the British and French Empires into World War II. The war remained a phony war for a year, until a strange PR fiasco drove Hynkel to new paranoid heights. In Tomania, A jewish barber, bearing an uncanny likeness to Hynkel, was mistaken for Hynkel and asked to make a speech. The resulting cry for freedom showed the cracks in the regime, despite the Nazis attempts to cover the incident up. Now seeing enemies everywhere, Hynkel broke the pact with Russia and invaded. On the home front, the party began recruiting doubles of both men for security.

The Wehrmacht enjoyed great success in the early stages of the war and the Axis Powers managed to occupy most of Mainland Europe and parts of Asia. Eventually the combined efforts of the Allies, aided by Superman, Captain America, and Namor the Sub-Mariner among others, defeated the Wehrmacht. Behind the lines, Doc Savage, The Shadow, The Spider and Casca also fought the regime.

During his reign Hynkel exercised his belief in the occult and its scientific and military applications. Among his many projects were the Rhinemann Exchange to construct new weapons, the Übersoldier program and the resurrection of the Dark Age Saxon warlock Heinrich I, bids to obtain and control the powers of The Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail, the creation of an early nuclear weapon with a plan from Ixania, and forays into new synthetic super-soldiers as pioneered by American scientists. Figures like the Red Skull and Captain Nazi were the result of this.

By 1945, both Hynkel's policy and the Nazi Party lay in ruins; his bid for territorial conquest and racial subjugation had caused the deaths of tens of millions of people, including the deliberate genocide of an estimated six million Jews in what is now known as the Holocaust to fuel a ritual to summon the Norse Pantheon to the side of the Nazis.

Late in the war a long series of assassination attempts were made against Hynkel, to varying degrees of success. Operation Valkyrie, while a failure, made a posthumous hero out of Nazi traitor Claus von Stauffenberg. A more successful attempt came at the premiere of a Nazi war film where many of the Nazi's highest officers, including Herring and Garbitsch, were in attendance. A group of Jewish vigilantes, German, French and American, burned the theatre to the ground while trapping the moviegoers inside. The plot effectively beheaded the Nazi party and was thought to have killed Hynkel himself. However, later DNA testing would show that the Hynkel killed in the fire was a decoy. Hynkel is said to have resided in his bunker where he commanded the war and also was able to observe the future through advanced technology. He was reported to constantly becoming agitated as it became clear he could not win the war, among other things he became quite fond of.

In fact, it is unknown how or when Hynkel died. Common knowledge states that during the final days of the war in 1945, as the German capital of Berlin was being invaded and destroyed by the Red Army of the Soviet Union, Hynkel married Eva Braun and less than 24 hours later, the two committed suicide in the Fooey bunker. However, some sources say that it was Casca the Eternal Mercenary who pulled the trigger. American war hero Frank Rock would state he saw Hynkel alive after the war ended, though an investigation by the Batman would show Rock to have delusions of seeing Satan himself. America's Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense would claim he died in 1952 in a fight with Anung un Rama, alias Hellboy. Other sources claimed he fled to America, set up connections to the Ku Klux Klan and gave himself the name Hate-Monger, a criminal who would later be defeated by the New York super-group, The Fantastic Four. Yet another source claims he survived the war, changed his name and moved to Somerset. Still more sources say he died, but they saved his brain, and Josef Mengele hatched a plot to breed clones of Hynkel to raise in homes across the world. If all of these stories are true, it may be that they were Hitler's brainwashed doubles driven mad after the defeat of the Reich. There's no way of knowing who the true Hynkel was. However, it's generally agreed upon that Hynkel died some time before 1974. Because in that year Broodseven-Sub-Two-Raksha, free of Hynkel's body, confessed his connection to the man in a New Jersey bar.

Adenoid Hynkel is now one of the most hated men in world history. His legacy continues to scar the German psyche and serve as a warning to all democracies. In 1968 the brilliant Broadway satire Springtime for Hynkel became an international, Pulitzer Prize winning hit that helped the world on a path to healing. In 2003, Germany took steps to repair the damage Hynkel had done by extending an invitation to six million Jews across the world to come to Germany and rebuild the culture that the Holocaust destroyed. Hynkel, somehow resurrected appeared in Germany in 2011 and reentered politics, attempting to become the European Union, but was defeated.