Sacred Texts

## Chapter 1: Exposition and Origin of Alex

*minecraft; the way home* is an anime starring the main character, Alex, also known as Alex The 9. He is also known for such works as The Bible, The Koran, minecraft; the way home, and the Torah. He was also influential to the writings of Buddha, and even helped Gandhi make India. After being bored for a while, he decided to make the Earth in 2015 by making a YouTube account(deleted). After gaining a considerable following of 7.35 Billion as of 2017, he then used his influence to help out smaller channels he saw potential in, such as Pewediepie, Toby Fox, and Alpharad. He is known for helping the aforementioned Toby create his hit game Undertale, but was humble enough to not want to be credited. His main disciples are known as the Niners, of which there are, of course, 9.

To discover the history of our god, Alex the 9, we must go back to the dawn of man, 2015. Alex the 9 created the world as we know it, he sacrificed his son Jo to free us of our sins and create the OG-NINERS, 9 chosen children. The number 9 did not exist before the sacrificial of Jo. Alex is the creator, center of our universe. Alex is the creator of all living things. Alex then went on to create the beginning of modern human life, when he created his YouTube Channel. Alex would go onto help smaller YouTubers such as Pewdiepie, Dantdm, and Alpharad. Alex quickly claimed the title of "Most Subscribed Channel on YouTube" with a whopping 9 billion subscribers. Alex is a widely loved figure in our Earth, with help from Mom the 9. Alex is responsible for such as: *minecraft; the way home*, *minecraft;defeating the kidnaper*, and *LIFE of an anime girl* and its sequel. It has been discovered that before human life, Alex wrote the Bible number 9 & knuckles. The search for the lost relic is still on-going.

## Chapter 2: The Ninepocolypse

All was well with the world. Alex had used his popularity and power and established world peace, ended world hunger, and deleted the sinful country of Sweden. He prevented the Ohio world takeover, and changed the chemical name of salt to "salt". He began to explore what more he create and do. Unfortunately, one thing that he created was gmod. Gmod was an great game, on par with some of the best of Alex's creations. But gmod also had a dark side: it gave creation to something objectively evil: Teletubbies. While Alex was preoccupied with creating Terraria, the Teletubbies sacraficed Ice Age Baby in order to summon maxd3pressr. maxd3presser decided to destroy everything Alex had worked so hard for. He impersonated Ale and asked for money. The Niners tried to help, but it was mostly futile. Eventually the truth was revealed, and maxd3presser left, but not before destroying as many things in existence as possible. Afterwards, Alex rebuilt humanity, but the event will never be forgotten.

## Chapter 3: The Day of Reckoning

The Ninepocolypse had commenced, and Alex was not pleased. So Alex decided to destroy the plussies from within as a revenge. To begin, he made a level called "Alex the 9 Army vs Plussies war". Then, he made a music track with the Niners. This is what he sent to Alpharad to convince him to disband the Plussies, a diss track that is "like music box music but trap". The lyrics are as follows.

Alex; "Hey Alphad remember the time you played Mario maker it was hot.

no it was not"

Background singers; Alpharad plus your views be taking a down thrust, Now you don't trust

Hey Jacob remember when we playing? You kinda stinky just sayin

You're kind of a nerd, just sayin (audible shrug)

Alex; why don't cry to your little fans

oh wait I don't think you can

Background singers; LE

Y

Jo is a squirrels in my pants, a plussy and a wimp

Alex; "you think your getting girls but wait

your too late"

(TBC)

## Chapter 4: Ancient Readings

Alex created ancient instructions so the ninepocolypse would never happen again, the instructions, known as the ancient readings go "The Fitnessgram PACER Test™ is an evaluation that takes place in several increments, and is designed to assess one's oxygen capacity. It’s difficulty increases in installments as it endures. The aforementioned PACER Test, or Progressive Aerobic Cardiovascular Endurance Run, specifically, the variation which consists of increments of 20 times the length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of 1/299,792,458 of a second, which is the fundamental unit of length in the metric system, will commence in 30 times the time that elapses during 9,192,631,770 (9.192631770 x 10 9 ) cycles of the radiation produced by the transition between two levels of the cesium 133 atom. Because of this, it is advised that if you will be partaking in this endeavor, that you prepare yourself by arranging yourself in a straight or continuous extent of length with the other people who will be participating in this measurement of aerobic capacity. This length should be located in an area where you are going to begin. The minimum velocity at which you must travel in order to continue the test begins at a low amount, but gradually escalates in increments of 1/60 of an hour. The previously mentioned increase of the minimum required velocity is denoted by this signal. [Beep]. If you are succeeding in this procedure, that means that you should have already moved a distance of just over 20 of the aforementioned fundamental units of length in the metric system before you detect this specific auditory sensation produced by stimulation of the organs of hearing by vibrations transmitted through the air or other medium. [ding] Recall that you must canter in a line that is directly perpendicular to the line that denotes the 20 meter mark, and that you must sustain the act of running, and that you must go on with the test until you physically can not continue. If you manage to fail to accomplish the task of physically moving yourself from one straight or continuous extent of length that marks the starting point of this analysis of cardiovascular endurance and aerobic capacity to another that connotes twenty of the fundamental units of length in the metric system or vice versa in the moment between two of the of the bell rings, or alternatively, the signal, twice, that means that this inspection has ended for you. This evaluation will commence when I utter the expression “begin”. On your mark, prepare yourself, begin."