Mean Girls 3

**Mean Girls 3** is the 11th episode of The Loudest House!

Next episode: Rated R for Rules

## Synopsis:

In this spoof of Mean Girls, Lexie gets transferred to Lisa's school and Lisa, David, and Darcy don't make it easy for her.

## Character appearances:

* Lisa Loud
* David Miller
* Darcy Homandollar
* Lexie Lewis
* Foop Cosma
* Poof Fairywinkle
* Mr. Tate
* Principal Adams

## Transcript:

It was a September day in Lisa's sophomore year of high school.

Lisa, David, and Darcy went into the school together confidently.

Lisa: I have a feeling we'll rule the school like we did last year.

David: Right? And best of all, Lola, Lana, and their obnoxious friends are in different classes now that they're seniors!

Lisa: That's going to be pleasant.

Darcy: Also, I heard there's going to be a new girl coming here!

Lisa rolled her eyes. She doesn't want to share the spotlight with some other new kid.

Lisa: Really? Well.

Lisa smirked, then whispered to David.

Lisa: We know how to handle that.

David: We do?

Lisa: We do.

~ ~ ~

Lisa, David, and Darcy were sitting in Mr. Tate's science class when Principal Adams came in with the new student, who was Lexie.

Principal Adams: Well, I'm sure you know Lexie from last year. She's back and ready to get reacquainted with everyone. Make her feel welcome.

Lisa and David rolled their eyes as Principal Adams left.

Mr. Tate: Well, what a surprise. Lexie, take your seat next to Lisa, David, and Darcy.

Lexie nodded and sat down.

Lexie: Bet you really missed me, Lisa.

Lisa smiled big.

Lisa: I did! Say, you want to join us for lunch?

Darcy: But Lisa, Foop and Poof wanted to -

Lisa kicked Darcy's chair.

Lisa: Wanted to sit with Goldie. It's fine. Lexie, you can sit with us.

David: Are you sure, Lisa?

Lisa: I'm sure.

Lisa whispered to David.

Lisa: Cause I have a plan.

Lexie: I'll be there.

~ ~ ~

On the way to the next class, Foop and Poof stopped Lexie.

Lexie: What's this?

Foop: I saw you talking to Lisa, David, and Darcy.

Poof: Poof, poof!

Lexie: So?

Foop: They're teen royalty.

Lexie: And?

Foop: They're also known as the Plastics who rule the school...or would like to. Darcy is one of the dumbest girls you could ever meet, David's head is so big, it's full of secrets, and evil takes human form with Lisa Loud.

Poof: Poof, poof.

Lexie: And what about me?

Foop: I say watch out. Believe me, I tried being in their group. But Lisa and David said I was "too unimportant" for their group and the school. But they let Darcy join. Man, that boiled my blood. I -

Poof grabbed Foop's arm.

Poof: Poof, poof.

Foop rolled his eyes.

Foop: Right. Just. Be careful.

Lexie grinned.

Lexie: Oh. I will.

~ ~ ~

It was lunch time. Lisa, David, and Darcy were awaiting Lexie.

Lisa: So, you know the plan?

David: Yes. We pretend to let Lexie in our group, but really make her wait forever. She'll never be one of us.

Darcy: I'd usually object. But that's so fetch!

Lisa glared at Darcy.

Lisa: What's fetch?

Darcy: It's... slang. From England.

Lisa rolled her eyes as Lexie came to the table.

Lisa: Glad you could join us.

Lexie sat down.

Lisa: Oh, and Darcy. Hugh's from England. He's never said that in his life. Nor does anyone he knows.

Darcy looked down.

Lisa: And Lexie. Glad you could join us. You should know some rules before you can officially be one of us.

Lexie: Rules?

David: Why sure.

Lisa: For one, on Wednesday's, we all wear green. And you must have a high GPA. Well, Darcy didn't get that rule, but we still keep her around. And finally, you can't associate with anyone other than us.

Lexie: Well, I dunno -

David: And this applies to everyone. Like, if I dare wear my yellow turtleneck on Wednesdays, I'd be over by the wannabe table.

David pointed to the table that Foop and Poof were sitting at.

Poof waved to Lexie while Foop glared at him.

Lisa: And most certainly, you can't overshadow me or David.

Darcy: Believe me. I know. I tried to be EXACTLY like them and they said I had to eat in the bathroom! I had to eat there ALL YEAR last year.

Lexie: Wow. I won't let you down. I really want to be in this group.

Lisa: I'm sure you do. Everyone does.

David: But we only allow so much.

Lexie: Well, I'm glad you choose me.

Lisa grinned.

~ ~ ~

After school, Lisa, David, and Darcy invited Lexie over to their main hangout - the planetarium.

Lexie: This is amazing. I really feel like I belong. Remember last year when you wanted nothing to do with me?

Lisa: I know. The past's in the past.

Lisa noticed Lexie's pigtails.

Lisa: By the way, I love what you did with your hair.

Lexie smiled and headed over to the Neil Armstrong exhibit a few feet away.

Lisa: That. Is the absolute worst hairstyle I've ever seen.

David: I know. What was she thinking?

Darcy: But you said you liked it!

Lisa swatted Darcy.

Darcy: Ow!

Lisa: I know. I just was trying to be nice!

David: But it's impossible with so many imbeciles!

Lisa: Very.

~ ~ ~

Lisa, David, Darcy, and Lexie reached Lisa's home.

Lisa: Well, this is it. You remember my house?

Lexie: I do! And your siblings are totally cool. I wish I had siblings.

Lisa rolled her eyes.

Lisa: Well. My siblings aren't home today. Neither are my parents.

David: Yep. Lisa's family all wanted to go on some lame vacation.

Lisa: Yeah. But I declined. It'll just be hours in the car bickering and hair pulling anyways.

Darcy: Yeah. Lola was the worst when it came to that! She actually destroyed my dollie's hair when I was 7!

Lexie: Well! I'm glad I get to see the house when it ISN'T being torn to shreds.

Lisa: Yep. You should just see my room...

Lisa, David, Darcy, and Lexie headed upstairs and into Lisa's room.

Lisa: I know it's a little messy. But, I figure I'll clean it later.

David caught an eye of a book under Lisa's bed.

He grabbed it.

David: Oh my god! I remember this!

It was a big green book that said "Our Burn Book."

Lisa: Oh yeah! I haven't seen this in forever!

Lexie: What is it?

Darcy: Oh, it's their book of incredible secrets. They never let me look in it.

Lexie: Ah. Well, I'd like to see it.

Lisa: Well, you certainly can.

David: Yeah!

Darcy: I'll just get us some cookies! Brb!

Darcy went downstairs while Lisa, David, and Lexie were going through the book.

Lisa: Lola Loud really knows how to disappoint everyone.

David: And Darcy is SO subpar.

Lisa: Ha. Here's a funny one. Lucas, Marcus, Mike, and Gus went in the girls room.

David: Well, Jane Fitzgerald has a huge butt!

Lisa and David laughed almost manically.

Lexie: Is there anything about me in here?

Lisa closed the book suddenly.

Lisa: No. You know, you never even came into our thoughts.

David: Till now!

Lexie: Oh. Well, I'm glad you think of me now. Lisa, I've always wanted to be like you.

Lisa: Gee. I could tell by the SHRINE of me in your room.

Lexie: Admit it was clever.

Lisa: Why sure. It was a beautiful masterpiece!

Lexie: Thank you!

Lexie left the room happily.

Lisa: We need to put something about Lexie in there.

David: Shall we not? We need to make it like she's in the group.

Lisa: Right, right. How about after we kick her out?

David: Okay!

~ ~ ~

The next week on Wednesday, Lexie already looked like she was in Lisa, David, and Darcy's group. She was wearing her usual kind of outfit, but in all green.

Foop and Poof noticed this.

Foop: Well, well, well. Looks like you've gone full Plastic.

Poof: Poof. Poof.

Lexie: Well, what can I say? I guess Lisa and David really DO like me. I knew Darcy did. But now I must be going. Can't be late for science class.

Lexie air-kissed Foop and left.

Foop: Late for science class? Air kisses? Lisa and David SUDDENLY liking her? We need to do something.

Poof: Poof, poof.

Foop: But what?

Poof: Poof, poof!

Foop: That's it, Poof! You're brilliant. For a man of few words, you sure know how to come up with a plan.

~ ~ ~

During lunch, Lisa, David, and Darcy were also wearing all green and were admiring Lexie's green ensemble.

Lisa: Nice look, Lexie. You remembered our green rule.

David: I was thinking you didn't.

Darcy: I mean, the first time Lisa and David made this rule, I forgot it. But they let me go.

Lisa: Yep. Forgive, forget is what I always say.

Lexie: Well, I'll be right back. I need to use the bathroom.

Lisa: Go right ahead.

Lexie left.

~ ~ ~

Lexie was on her way to the bathroom when Foop and Poof stopped her.

Lexie: What do YOU want?

Foop: Listen to me. We have a plan. You want to hear it?

Lexie: No, I -

Foop: Too bad, you're hearing it.

Foop and Poof dragged Lexie to the empty science room.

Lexie was mad.

Lexie: What's the big idea?

Foop: We have a plan to destroy the tight-knit group of The Plastics, aka Lisa, David, and Darcy's stupid little club. They'll regret not inviting me and only letting in Darcy.

Poof: Poof, Poof!

Foop: Oh, right. And not letting Poof join the science club!

Poof: Poof, Poof.

Foop rolled his eyes.

Foop: And the student council. I know.

Foop took a deep breath.

Foop: But that's in the past. Now I'll get revenge!

Lexie: I'm confused. I thought you liked Lisa and David.

Foop: I did. But now I know what they're really like.

Lexie: Okay. And WHAT does this have to do with me?

Foop: I'll show you.

Foop wrote down some things on the whiteboard.

He wrote: The downfall of the Plastics:

Lisa and David break up

Lisa fails science class

The Plastics disband

Foop: We use this to ruin their lives forever. Think you can go back to their stupid group and pretend like you never spoke to us?

Lexie: I can.

Lexie left.

Foop: Well. Our day has come!

Poof: Poof, Poof!

~ ~ ~

Lexie went back to Lisa, David, and Darcy's table.

Lisa and David were mad.

Lisa: What took you so long?

David: Yeah. You know where the bathroom is.

Lexie: Sorry! I had...irritable bowels.

Lisa rolled her eyes.

Lisa: Whatever.

Lisa: So. any school clubs you wanna join?

Lexie: Uh. I wanna join the cheer squad.

David: You can't do that. It's social suicide.

Lisa: God, you're so lucky you have us to guide you.

Darcy: But Lisa -

Lisa: Darcy, what have I told you about interrupting?

Darcy: Don't?

Lisa: Exactly.

~ ~ ~

During science class, Lexie started to enact one part of Foop and Poof's plan.

Lexie: So, Lisa, David. What is your lowest grade in science class?

Lisa and David laughed in Lexie's face.

Lisa: Obviously if you haven't noticed, we get the top marks.

David: Like... Straight A's. You would never understand.

Lexie muttered under her breath.

Lexie: Well, not for long.

Lisa: What was that?

Lexie: Uh, nothing.

Mr. Tate came in the classroom with a lot of papers.

Mr. Tate: Surprise quiz! This is going to count towards your final grade.

Lisa: I got this in the bag!

David: As do I!

Lexie muttered.

Lexie: I wouldn't count on it.

~ ~ ~

After science class, Lexie went through Mr. Tate's desk, where he had the tests to grade.

Foop and Poof came up to Lexie, who screamed.

Lexie: WHAT was that? I thought you were Mr. Tate!

Foop: As if. We've come to keep lookout. For either Mr. Tate... or Lisa and David.

Lexie: Okay, okay.

Lexie found Lisa and David's tests.

Lexie: Ah, ha!

Foop: You found them! Nice! What are you going to do?

Lexie: You'll see. Just stand guard.

Foop: Poof's doing that.

Poof was watching the door.

Poof: Poof, poof!

Lexie: Okay, okay. I'll just simply erase their answers and replace them with the wrong ones.

Foop: Good luck. They used pen.

Lexie looked closer.

Lexie: Oh, shoot.

The sound of footsteps became present.

Poof noticed this.

Poof: Poof, poof, POOF!

Foop: That's right! Under Mr. Tate's desk! NOW!

Lexie, Foop, and Poof squeezed under Mr. Tate's desk.

Mr. Tate entered with Lisa and David.

Lisa: I'm telling you. Andi said she doesn't want to do the science club anymore!

David: Yeah! What do we do?

Mr. Tate: I don't know. But I need to grade everyone's tests.

Lisa: Okay, okay. Very well.

David: Yeah. Have a good day!

Mr. Tate: I will! Thank you!

Lisa and David smiled and left.

Mr. Tate: Okay. The tests.

He went to his desk and sat down, not knowing Lexie, Foop, and Poof were under there.

Mr. Tate opened his desk drawer and got out all the tests.

He started to grade them all.

Lexie whispered to Foop.

Lexie: What do we do? He's grading the tests! And when he sees Lisa's and David's missing... Oh no, oh no.

Foop: No worries. I got this.

He started crossing out every answer on Lisa and David's tests and slid them up to Mr. Tate's desk.

Mr. Tate noticed Foop's arm with the tests and grabbed it.

Mr. Tate: Foop?

Foop got up suddenly.

Foop: Heh. Hi, Mr. Tate.

Mr. Tate: What are you doing with Lisa and David's tests?

Lexie and Poof began to sneak out until Mr. Tate caught them.

Mr. Tate: Not so fast.

Lexie: Uh oh. Busted.

Mr. Tate: That's right. What are you even doing?

Foop: Well, Mr. Tate. We noticed some errors in Lisa and David's essay.

Mr. Tate: This wasn't an essay. It was multiple choice.

Lexie: That's right! They actually wrote an essay on the multiple choice test! Can you believe that?

Mr. Tate observed the tests closer.

Mr. Tate: I see. Well, feel free to go now.

Lexie: Very well. See ya!

Lexie, Foop, and Poof left.

Foop: So glad he bought it! Now phase one's complete.

Lexie: And I'll take care of phase two and three!

~ ~ ~

The next day at lunch, Lisa, David, Darcy, and Lexie were sitting together.

Lisa and David were crying.

Lexie: What's wrong with them?

Darcy: They failed Mr. Tate's big science quiz. I totally don't get it.

Lisa: Of course you don't, Darcy! There goes Yale.

David: And medical school! My parents will possibly disown me! They almost disowned Robert when he started prioritizing cooking with Riley over applying himself in school.

Lisa: Not to mention, but I feel just as dumb as my lousy parents and siblings!

Darcy: It's okay! You could retake the test.

Lisa: I don't know if we can.

David: And I hate to say, I think we need to leave this group.

Lisa: Yeah. Both of us broke the biggest rule.

Darcy: The green rule?

David: NO! We need to have high GPAs. Otherwise, we're no one.

Lisa: And hypocrites. So, I'll see ya.

David: Yeah.

Lisa and David left the lunch table with Darcy following them.

Foop and Poof came rushing over.

Foop: We saw everything! Nicely done!

Lexie: But why do I feel so lousy?

Foop: Eh, you'll get over it.

Poof: Poof, Poof!

Lexie giggled.

Lexie: I guess so. It was worth it.

~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, at Lisa's home, Lisa and David were looking through their burn book.

Lisa flipped to the last two pages with nothing on it.

Lisa wrote down: Lisa Loud is a worthless twit with nothing to add to the world.

David also wrote down: David Miller has no brains and a really bad attitude.

Lisa shut the book.

Lisa: I knew Lexie played us. Let's see how this will look all over the school.

David: Yes!

~ ~ ~

The next day before school, Lisa and David photocopied all the pages in their book and plastered them all over the hallways.

Finally, Lisa put the the book in the girls' bathroom.

Lisa: That Lexie will think twice.

David: Now it'll look like SHE wrote the book!

~ ~ ~

During the first bell, everyone in the school saw Lisa and David's pages of the book.

They began fighting, screaming, and all chaos broke out loose.

Lisa and David just observed it smugly on the steps in the main hallway.

~ ~ ~

After a while, Principal Adams was notified of everything.

Principal Adams (through loudspeaker): Would Lexie Lewis report to the principal's office?

Lexie gulped and headed to the principal's office.

Lisa and David stopped her.

Lisa: I know you set us up.

Lexie: I don't know what you're talking about.

David: Well, I guess you better see what Principal Adams wants.

~ ~ ~

Lexie entered the principal's office.

Principal Adams looked mad. She was holding Lisa and David's burn book.

Principal Adams: Lexie. Can you explain this?

Lexie: I don't know where that book came from!

Principal Adams: It was in the girls' room and everyone in the school went wild. And after looking inside it, it's full of hateful, mean things. Why would you write this?

Lexie: I didn't write it. Lisa and David did.

Principal Adams: Then why would Lisa and David refer to themselves as brainless twits?

Lexie: Yeah, they're trying to make it look like I wrote it. But no. They wrote it.

Principal Adams looked exasperated.

Principal Adams: This stuff is incredibly serious. However, you may go. I need to make an announcement.

Lexie: Very well.

Lexie felt very guilty. She did not mean for this to go that far.

~ ~ ~

Principal Adams (through loudspeaker): Every student in the auditorium for an important assembly!

Everyone rushed to the auditorium.

Lexie: I know I can fix this.

~ ~ ~

Everyone was in the auditorium. Principal Adams was on the stage.

Principal Adams: You may know why I called you here today.

Darcy: I don't!

Principal Adams: It's because of all this bullying through this dumb book.

Principal Adams continued.

Principal Adams: It's not right and I encourage everyone to make amends. Or the homecoming dance coming in October will be cancelled.

Everyone was shocked and started to panic.

Principal Adams: However, I won't do that. But you should understand the seriousness of this regardless.

Lexie couldn't take it. Everything was her fault.

Lexie went up to the stage and grabbed the mic.

Lexie: I have something to say!

Principal Adams: You know, Lexie, I didn't encourage you to make a speech.

Lexie: This is important though. I may be to blame. I came here wanting to fit in. But I know now that it is not everything and... I've been quite mean.

Foop looked guilty and stood up.

Foop: No. I was. I was so caught up in getting revenge that... I feel I've upset most.

Lisa stood up.

Lisa: I feel I caused most of this. You see, I actually wrote the book.

David: And I helped. But we did NOT mean for this to go that far.

Lisa: Yes. And Foop, we owe you an apology.

David: We would've actually wanted you in our group.

Foop cried happily.

Foop: Really!?

Lisa: Sure. You've always been a good friend.

Principal Adams: Well, there you have it. Lisa, David. What you did wasn't right. You two will need to address me after school for detention.

Lisa and David looked guilty.

Lisa: Yes, Principal Adams.

Principal Adams: And as for the rest of you, you're all dismissed. Have a wonderful day.

Everyone in the auditorium left.

Principal Adams: And now Lexie. What you did wasn't right either. You'll get detention along with Lisa and David.

Lexie sighed.

Lexie: Very well.