Forescore Jones: Undercover

Forescore Jones poses as a crossing guard in an effort to expose the true, undead identities of pretty much everyone who walks by. P.S.- this cartoon is non-canon.

## Transcript

*(open to Forescore Jones in disguise)*

**FORESCORE JONES:** The battle against undead related criminals is a never-ending one, and I, Forescore Jones, am now working undercover in said battle. *(we see "Forescore Jones: Hunter... of the UN-DEAD" at the bottom of the screen)* By posing as some guy who helps people walk across the street, I will discreetly question each passerby in an effort to expose their true, undead identity, and put a stop to their undead-edness at once. ... Plus I get this cool sign.

*(the Warden walks up to him)*

**WARDEN:** Hey there, sir, is it all right if I walk across to the other side of this here road?

**FORESCORE JONES:** Before you cross to the other side, you must answer me these questions three.

**WARDEN:** Well, that sounds fair.

**FORESCORE JONES:** Question one! If I have 3 apples *(3 appears on screen)*, and I add 5 apples *(5 appears)*, then divide by 2 apples, add 17 apples, subtract 10 apples, and finally add 3- AND A **HALF** apples: How many GOD-DAMN apples would I, Forescore Jones have at that time?!

**WARDEN:** Well, I'm no calculator, but I'd take a guess that I'd be 14.5 apples, buddy!

**FORESCORE JONES:** That is a good answer, except for one thing: apples are a tool of SATAN, which makes YOU one of Satan's minions. You're coming back with me for questioning, "buddy".

*(he shoots the Warden with a tranquilizer gun, then continues to shoot him until Allon walks by)*

**ALLON:** Uh, I don't mean to interrupt, sir, but would it be all right if I were able to cross to that pie shop over there?

**FORESCORE JONES:** You cannot taste the sweet, sweet pie until after I query you these questions two.

**ALLON:** Oh, is this like a trivia thing? S'pretty cool.

**FORESCORE JONES:** First question! If I were to kick you in the face, would my foot pass straight through you as if you were some kind of ghost?

**ALLON:** Uh, I doubt it.

**FORESCORE JONES:** YOU LIE!

*(he kicks Allon in he face, sending him sailing; the Warden is dragged off screen)*

**FORESCORE JONES:** Oh.

*(the Commander walks up with a moustache)*

**COMMANDER:** Hey, that was a pretty nice kick, man.

**FORESCORE JONES:** I didn't kick anyone.

**COMMANDER:** *(the moustache is gone)* Well, whatever, can I cross here? I need to buy some *stamps*.

**FORESCORE JONES:** *(close-up to Forescore with each "stamp")* Stamps?! STAMPS?!? DID YOU SAY **STAMPS**?!?

**COMMANDER:** ... Yeah.

**FORESCORE JONES:** Well, I need some new stamps for my collection! Let's go together!

*(a happy face appears on the screen)*

*(cut to Commander & Forescore walking across the street)*

**COMMANDER & FORESCORE:** *(singing, with a sing-along thing at the bottom)* We're gonna buy some stamps today! We're gonna buy some stamps!

**COMMANDER:** *(? ? ? ? ? appears as he speaks)* How many stamps are YOU gonna buy?

**FORESCORE JONES:** *(1 2 3 4 7 appears for him)* I'm gonna buy, like... 7.

**COMMANDER & FORESCORE:** *(singing)* We're gonna buy some stamps today! We're gonna buy some stamps!

*(cut to end screen)*

## Easter Eggs

* Click on the second replay at the end to see Commander say, "How many stamps are you gonna buy?"
	+ **Glitch:** After the commander says that you can hear a little bit of Forescore Jones saying, "I" This is caused by the action script "gotoAndPlay(3108);" being written too late.

## Fun Facts

* The stamp shown during the musical number has a picture of Freely McWheely on it.
* The Song the Commander and Forescore sing is called We're Gonna Buy Some Stamps.
* The equation for Forescore's question is (3 + 5) / 2 + 17 - 10 + 3.5, which does *indeed* equal Fourteen-and-a-half.

### References

* Forescore's claim that apples are a 'tool of Satan' might have some validity, if Ed Atlin's animated short Juice is anything to go by.

* "Answer me these questions three" is a line spoken by the unnamed Bridgekeeper from *Monty Python and the Holy Grail*.

## Zapper TV

In September 2007, a company called "Zapper TV" started showing this cartoon using Verizon Wireless's V CAST, a service for delivering videos to mobile phones. Their website shows a short clip of this episode, with Forescore Jones discussing with Mr. Warden.

On Zapper TV the episode is entitled "Forescore Jones Zombie Hunter". On the main page, it is described as:

### Zombie Hunter

Forescore Jones hunts the undead! Not to be confused with the

non-dead... He's not the world's best zombie hunter, but he's the

most insane.

Its description on the episode's page says:

Forescore Jones hunts the undead!

Not to be confused with the non-dead...

© 2007 Copyright by Thundersquid. All Rights

Reserved.

Access to V CAST costs $3.00 for a 24-hour access or $15.00 monthly subscription.