Let's Play WHAT NEXT?

**Let's Play WHAT NEXT?** is a video in the Board Game Club series.

"*Don't worry! We've got a toddler on it. He's in a straight-jacket. And we've turned the lights off.* "
―Laurie
## Notable moments

* The first rule of Board Game Club is "we don't know where we're going, but we *are* on our way".
* Who will *have steady fingers* and who will be *a cack-handed twat*?
* Now there's a phrase you don't hear enough these days. Why don't you call someone a cack-handed twat today? Actually, don't do that - it's incredibly impolite. Funny though.
* This turns out to be incredibly difficult - the dexterity tasks are really super hard - to the extent that it looks exhausting, rather than satisfying.
* Interesting hellos today - Holly has just discovered the 4th wall, and may be being held hostage. There are hundreds of thousands of people watching, apparently.
* Dexterity check - Laurie is a massive boulderer, Adam's ok, Holly and Sullivan are toddlers just discovering their limbs. But they're going to give it their best.
* Holly has tiny t-rex arms, according to her own description - huge hands, though. Laurie: "Like a t-rex in boxing gloves."
* The real challenge is that Holly doesn't know her own strength, it seems.
* In our scenario we are a billionaire crime fighter with a homicidal housekeeper.
* What's the point of humorous plays on words if they're not strictly accurate?
* Sullivan makes a fair point, "You're a billionaire and you've got a fucking waterbed?" Adam: "You're a billionaire pervert."
* We kind of hate our character at this point. (Spoiler - that gets worse). We could just throw ourselves off the tower and have done with it.
* Mrs. B attacks us with a bottle of champagne, the minx. Sullivan gives her a deeply unpleasant voice, perhaps in revenge.
* We really need to stop swinging near the table. In fact, let's not touch the table at all.
* Teri spot! Hi Teri! In charge of us all, just as it should be.
* Balancing these peril pieces is a colossal pain in the arse.
* Holly feels like this is the wrong group for a dexterity-based co-op game. Adam believes in them.
* Luckily Holly's tiny little arms mean she won't touch the table.
* We've just noticed that the game mechanic means Sullivan's turn will always be in the dark.
* You wouldn't want to close yourself in a washing machine, however big it is.
* Holly's surprising everyone.
* Laurie's delighted to be building the tower: "Oh fucking fuckity fuck. Oh fucking pissy little fucking fuck. Shitty fucking bullshit fucking, fucking..."
* Commentary's not going to help - Laurie's heading for a freakout. He's got nerves of steel but very brittle bones.
* Laurie: "He's done it for Britain. Britain, never call on me again because I won't fucking answer."
* Adam: "Fuck you, old lady."
* Do we mean pool or pool? They're mostly wrong, it's pool.
* We're pro-Mrs. B, bottle-throwing aside. We're making some big assumptions about her.
* We need a single flavour of sauce, not to drench our entire meal in mustard.
* Holly surprises us all, again.
* Adam: "Don't fuck this up for us Sullivan, Jesus Christ!"
* Apparently they call Sullivan the 'dick of steel'. I confess, it's not immediately obvious why that would be relevant, but life's rich tapestry etc. etc.
* Adam: "Dad's about to show us how it's done!" Laurie: "Oh do fuck off!"
* Laurie screaming into a cushion while the rest of them giggle is worth the price of admission on its own.
* There's triumph.... then despair.
* We need to do better in round 2. Not everyone can have a perfect 100% achievement on the tasks they did, like Adam. Who did no tasks.
* Adam's doing that thing where he stops responding to the bits and just focusses on the game tasks. That's usually a sign that things are going quite badly. If he gets the rule book out and leafs through it madly, we'll know we're in real trouble.
* Although, now that Sullivan has got the power outage for the whole of the next round again, we can take a moment to laugh till we can't breathe.
* Holly is now provably the best at dexterity games.
* Sullivan: "Everyone had a lot of confidence in me and it was entirely misplaced."
* Adam: "I'm so bad at these challenges! I hate all of them... cack-handed twat!"
* Turns out Sullivan's Mrs. B voice is actually Brooke. Aaaah, bless? I guess?
* Adam may be screwing with future Sullivan.
* Laurie: "Sullivan, we need to be respectful around the tower!"
* Sullivan is a teensy tiny bit over the whole thing, I think.
* We've started with the bickering.
* Round 3. Sullivan's in the dark again and Adam's a little bit breathless.
* Laurie to Adam: "Don't do that face at me!"
* Catching the card is so hard that Adam doesn't even mind if the cards are damaged in the attempt.
* On the other hand, One Try Teri is the best of us, and as usual shows us how it's done.
* Now Holly is brimming with confidence.
* Can't think why we just didn't succeed on all those tasks - we didn't think of that.
* Adam's in his head and just needs one successful task. Hoorah.
* Sullivan's pushing hard for a nap. There's always reasons for a nap.
* Holly's not a culinary genius - she once thought a knife was broken because she was trying to cut a carrot with the non-sharp side.
* Adam's losing his nerve. Holly's being as lovely and supportive as she always is.
* And finally we finish and we can knock the tower down. It's a mix of celebration and relief that it's finished. Mostly exhaustion, by the look of it.

## Trivia

* Game introduction and rules are presented by Adam.
* An extended version of this episode is available on the No Rolls Barred Patreon.
* No talking heads this episode.