recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Elmer

The Purveyor of Fruits

Elmer is a proboscis monkey who sells fruits. He is older than can be comprehended. The countless millennia he has spent in this realm have tested his mettle and found him worthy. He is among the few vendors that can truly claim to have unflinchingly endured the great many catastrophes of the Sandsverse.

## Appearance

Elmer chooses to appear as a proboscis monkey, a primate native to Borneo. He has dark brown to light tan fur and an extremely large nose, as is typical among male proboscis monkeys.

His true form is believed to appear similar to a large, tentacled, oily black triangular shape with a single eye in the center. However, it is possible this is an apocryphal belief held by those devoted to him.

funny nose

## Personality

Elmer usually has a light and jumpy personality, but is not afraid of taking on a more serious temperament, especially when he is insulted or attacked.

When Elmer is free from his body, he is a very dangerous individual with a disregard for the livelihood of lower lifeforms.

He uses the word "Gunch" as a synonym for death or bodily harm, although both he and Seymour have started to show signs of exasperation with the term.

Elmer has become something of a guardian of the universe. He is a Scholar of Runes, Practitioner of The Sacred Geometry, Wielder of The Tesseract, and perhaps most importantly he is The Geometric Blockade, who tirelessly bends the Space Between Worlds to ensure the safety of reality.

He has mentioned an item called The Sigil several times, which is implied to have the ability to harm him.

## Relationships

Elmer's most prominent relationship is the one between him and Seymour. They have an on-and-off rivalry and seem to enjoy antagonizing each other.

Elmer has claimed that he and Morbitum created the fundamental aspects of our universe together, and this is the reason they are imprisoned in the Sandsverse.

He has two nieces, Griselda and Sound Cloud, whom he is very fond of and loves greatly. He has a slightly rockier relationship with his nephew, RUSSELL!, who occasionally uses his great strength to torment Elmer.

Elmer has at least one grandmother. Her real name is unknown, but Elmer refers to her as Nanna. She lives in a massive Kapok tree on Earth's moon. Judging by the interior of her tree, it appears she had a large role in raising him.

## Events

On the 16th of February, 2017, in an event known as the Breach, Elmer was replaced by an imposter in the form of a snub-nosed monkey. With the help of Horace and Seymour, Elmer was able to seemingly reset the timeline, halting Zhdun's attack.

Elmer, having transcended his body, was the antagonist of the Happy Day Incident in February 2018, until he was Logged by Morbitum back into his normal self. During this event, Elmer claimed his name spells "*Every Living Monkey Exacts Revenge."*As Morbitum THUNKed Elmer back to normal, Morbitum countered with "***Even Lost Monkeys Eventually Return" (1)***
Alfonse

**Alfonse** (Full name "Alfonse Just Alfonse" according to himself, or "Alfonse Bragadocci ‘FleaBoy’ Stagnation Jr. III" according to various others) is a dirt enthusiast who doesn’t sell any kind of product, aside from occasionally offering 'wisdoms' free of charge.

## Appearance

Alfonse has the appearance of an average burrowing owl.

## Personality

Because of his caustic, prideful nature and his tendency to be easily provoked, Alfonse often conflicts with others. Even his friendships involve frequent arguments and threats of violence. Despite this, he can occasionally display kindness and generosity, especially if his sizeable ego is fed.

## History

 Alfonse came into existence at least 200,000 years ago. For a time he lived in a pocket universe with Alanor the One-Legg'd and Alrond the Fucking Tiny, two owls created from his own essence, before a dimensional rupture forcibly ejected them from their home and sent them hurtling through the cosmos. Eventually visiting Earth, Alfonse decided to stay due to the exquisite quality of its dirt.

 Naturally, Alfonse lives in a burrow, which he usually refers to as his hovel. The burrow consists of a vast network of twisting hallways and chambers which are constantly shifting in size. It houses an unknown number of owls, stated by Alfonse to be beyond measure. These owls are referred to as the Council, with Alanor, Alrond and himself comprising the Inner Council. Anyone of any species can be granted the position of 'honorary Council member'. However, this position is essentially meaningless.
Chunk

Chunk-Your-Guts is a badger and also an intergalactic prison containing six threats which could end the universe if set free. When kept inside Chunk-Your-Guts, their powers and personalities mostly cancel out, resulting in a badger who, while incredibly strong and rather unpalatable in terms of personality, is nowhere near capable of ending the universe or even a single galaxy, star system, or planet. The badger itself is a regular Earth badger who would normally be unremarkable and unable to even comprehend language (or do anything else a badger couldn't do).

## Homophobia and Centrism

Most beliefs held by Chunk-Your-Guts are a parody of modern centrism. They equate homophobia and heterophobia with "reverse" homophobia and heterophobia, which are just hating homo/heterophobes. They claim that none of the four forms of hatred are permissible except for when the hatred comes from Chunk-Your-Guts themself, in which case it is completely unbiased.
Joe

Species
 Business
 Blog

Joe is a gyrfalcon that sells musical instruments. He has worked with several other vendors to acquire materials for his goods and provide instruments to the community. He speaks in mildly butchered Sands Vernacular.

## Appearance

Joe is a very large bird with a hooked beak and has white and grey-brown feathers. Though without hands or fingers, Joe insists he can play a multitude of instruments, including the theremin.

## Personality

Joe tends to be kind towards the other vendors, wishing only that These Sands be filled with music, and that his bird pockets are filled with coin.
Remle

Business
 Blog

Remle is a fruit golem who sells,trains and breeds apes and monkeys of many species. He is good friends with Gok. Remle will usually stay as a pile of fruit when in his area of the sands but will form himself into a proper fruit golem form when delivering apes in his self-built ape carrier. He has some sort of a relationship/alliance with the skeletons.Some theorize that Remle is an anti-Elmer from an alternate dimension but not even Remle knows if this is true.
"steve"

Business
 Blog

"Steve" is a vendor with no true name or form. The name "steve" is given in the blog description as a means of communicating easily. As his business is in selling lies, what he says should not be easily trusted.

## Personality and Interests

"Steve" does not have a consistent personality, possibly because every aspect of his character is fabricated. His general attitude towards others fluctuates. A few things remain constant, such as his refusal to kill or cause physical harm. In general, he is conniving and reclusive, and he repeatedly describes himself as a coward.

Most of his relationships are negative. His conversations with other vendors mostly consist of arguments and attempts at deception. Despite his indignant nature, he does not want people to get hurt. As a result he has been willing to make compromises for the greater good.

"Steve" uses a supercomputer and artificial intelligence named MACHINE to connect to the internet and post on Tumblr. He is also very close friends with MACHINE.

## Abilities

Because "steve" has no true form, he is able to change his appearance at will. He is also able to contact a variety of eldritch gods from different pantheons, perform some kind of magic, and travel between universes. He is immortal.

## Speech

"Steve" speaks roughly in Sands Vernacular. He does not capitalize any letters enclosed in quotation marks.

## Status as a fandsverse character

"Steve" existed long before our universe as some sort of alien. He sold his name, his memories, and his true form to a demon in exchange for immense power. He uses his ability to travel between universes to escape from them as they end, and in each new universe he chooses a persona that will allow him to blend in. Thus, he is not a vendor, he's just an immortal alien from another dimension pretending to be a vendor because it's convenient.
The Breach

**The Breach** was a story arc occurring on the 15th of February, 2017, in which an extradimensional entity known as Zhdun invaded the Sandsverse, having arrived 17 days earlier than expected, and proceeded to wreak havoc. Seymour and Elmer were replaced by impostors, and Horace went into lockdown,. The Brood, however, was largely unaffected by Zhdun's attack due to their use of Wards, protective sigils with the appearance of distorted human faces. Morbitum was nowhere to be seen during the event, and is speculated to have been asleep during the entire thing. Many non canon vendors were also affected by the Breach in various ways.

The arc began with Seymour's doppelgänger speaking in perfectly grammatically accurate English, causing immediate suspicion.  Elmer's substitute, a snub-nosed monkey, appeared shortly afterward.

It ended when Horace appeared to sacrifice himself in order to free Seymour and Elmer, allowing them to prepare a counterattack. Elmer seemingly proceeded to reset the timeline.

After the arc's conclusion, all related posts were deleted from the main vendor's blogs. The events of the Breach are chronicled here, with the exception of the Brood's posts.

1. ↑ https://breachdetected.tumblr.com/post/157301024141/boarofthenorth100-zhdun-came-through-came-too
2. ↑ https://breachdetected.tumblr.com/post/157296636916/seym-how-do-tapirs-celebrate-the-life-of-saint
3. ↑ https://breachdetected.tumblr.com/post/157296773556
4. ↑ https://breachdetected.tumblr.com/post/157296631406/sandsvendor100-more-notes-than-you
5. ↑ https://breachdetected.tumblr.com/post/157296713611/someone-is-trying-to-replace-seymour
6. ↑ https://breachdetected.tumblr.com/post/157302618526/fruitsoftheape100-elmer-wakes-violently-with-a
Leopold

Sloth Distributor of Lichens

 Description

Leopold is a sloth vendor currently unacknowledged by canon. He lives in a great tree near the Sandsverse forest, and it is widely hypothesized that he is a very handsome boy.

## Trivia

* Leopold claims to have earned his name, presumably from the "Cream Boy" who lives in an unknown location called the Old Town.
Ezekiel Moundboy

## jEzekiel

Ezekiel is a Saiga Antelope, who lives in the plains full of mounds with many other antelope, or as he calls them, "Moundboys." It is hinted at that he has been here before space in time, due to his wars with the evil force, Shirley Temple. He takes pride in his mounds, and is quick to defend them. Because of this he has taken up a feud with Isabell.

## Personality

Ezekiel is quick to anger, especially when insulted or when his mounds are insulted. His hot-headed personality leads him to insult people, sometimes out of the blue, and seemingly taking pride in almost every word his says. When he says something that he does not agree with later, he usually just disagrees and says that he never said it. Despite breaking many rules, he is determined to obey the law and never cuss, often putting a star over cuss words.

## Relationships

Ezekiel has few vendor friends, and has made several enemies. Ezekiel has positive relationships with Chardly and Jerome, from their past and more present wartime against the warmonger, Shirley Temple. Another enemy of his is Isabell, who insists that mountains are much stronger and more powerful than mounds, which he refuses almost immediately each time. He often calls her "dumb" and "cant read" and other insults of the sort.He also forged a relationship with Corbeau, when they bonded over their trip to the astral plane in the Mystery Machine. This trip was taken in attempts to find Elmer's body during the Happy Day Event. Ezekiel has also made a relationship with Sharpay Evans, from their multiple adventures in the past and the future.

## The Moundboys

The Moundboys appear to be a group formed in the original war against Shirley Temple. These include Sammy, a baby Saiga Antelope who talks in all lower case, Bug Eyed Pansy, a Saiga Antelope with huge eyes, and Tomold, Seinfield, and Pappy, three Antelopes who have horns that glow in the sunlight, indicating some sort of power in them. Sammy seems to be favored by Ezekiel, and is called on many jobs such as sniffing out Toothless Tommy. The last Moundboy is Computer Ezekiel. He has the body of a Minecraft character with a Saiga Antelope skin. The last one is Toothless Tommy, who was abducted in the great war against Shirley Temple. He appears as a cartoon Saiga Antelope, with big eyes. He talks in Latvian with a weird font. Toothless Tommy seems to be the most powerful of all the Moundboys, but this is unbeknownst to Ezekiel.

## ENDCorp

New to the Cubic realm, Ezekiel was awakened. He came across Michelle Obama, a friend of Sharpay Evans, and was angered by the Dome that awakened him. He briefly discarded of Michelle, taking over the Dome and harnessing its power. Later in DomeCorp, the corporation formed an alliance with ENDCorp. Even later, he joined the corporation, taking on the role as Special Chef and Secret Agent, quickly taking a hatred to Corbeau and an alliance with Millhousing called 'The Bluesome Poosome.'
Jeremy

Jeremy is a dog with a constantly changing appearance. He is sometimes anthropomorphic, as seen in his cover art, and was once even shown as a bulldog with the nose and mouth of a proboscis monkey. He lives in "The Forge At The Basement Of This Realm" which is presumably where he forges items from. He occasionally enters a state of "oldness" in which he prefaces all posts with the line "I Am Old", has the ability to remember events from his distant past, and speaks with slightly different vernacular and a more serious tone.

## Vernacular

* Jeremy sometimes writes with lowercased words, using capitilization for emphasis.

## Trivia

* Jeremy allegedly "forged" the physical forms of many of the Sandsverse's inhabitants.
* Jeremy has canonically allied with Rexbert.
Aaron

Business
 Blog

Aaron is a sheep that designs, constructs, and sells toothbrushes. He speaks in Sands Vernacular. He takes great pride in his wool.

## Appearance

Aaron is a very small sheep, with well cared for wool. Very often he is seen wearing a bandolier that is full of toothbrushes.

## Personality

Aaron is a charismatic and usually calm sheep. He will however, get very angry when his wool is insulted, sometimes starting fights over such insults. However, he more often plots complex acts of revenge for the insults.
Douglas

Business
 Blog

Douglas a bush viper who sells dads and weeds. He is an amateur lawyer and often sees himself as the sole voice of reason in the sands. He speaks coherent Sands Vernacular and he will often insert ms and ns into his words, and replaces os with Is. He has been a semi-active vendor since July 2015.

## Personality

Douglas is a kind snake who follows whoever needs help blindly. His biggest flaw is that he believes that everyone deserves help and that everyone has good intentions. Doug is impatient and can be cruel to people who his friends have quarreled with. In general he believes that everyone has the potential to be A Good Boy, and that The Elites owe the hardworking lower class recognition, but he doesn't hold this against them.

## History

There's a whole post dedicated to his origin story. "Douglas was raised by his mother, and he was born in a jungle region far east of These Sands. After he was born, him and taco crossed paths for the first time, in The Void. Doug and his mom where there for a while before they landed in the woods, to the north of the Sands. There, they lived without worry, he met Fredrico again, they had hatched on the same day in neighboring nests, they found a human village, where they loved Fredrico and feared Douglas and his mom, eventually (after Fredrico slept with every bird in sight) the villagers killed his mother. As an act of revenge, Douglas assumed every human guy was a dad. He enslaved them and they started a shop together. Fredrico had a “garden” and Doug wanted his friend to feel welcome, so weeds and dad’s they sold.

Douglas got lonely without his mom, and especially because Fredrico is a little bit, repetitive. So he bought a snake egg from elanor. Then, when Donny hatched, Fredrico had an episode. And as a truce, Donny became Fredricos son. Then, Douglas got lonely again and decided to adopt (steal) two sons, Wade, and Horse. Then Fredrico got jealous, and had Anvil. Douglas raised them all, due to Freddieboys antics. Wade and Jeb got engaged, Sara and Anvil are dating, and Horse had a daughter."
Duffy

Business
 Blog

An orca who sells all sorts of dairy products. They often travel along a designated delivery dairy route, and is a self-proclaimed milk man. They speak in classic Sands Vernacular, however most of their dialogue is coherent. They also use a varying amount of punctuation to express emotion. Duffy refers to their allies and fellow merchants with their name followed by "Peer".

## Appearance

They have an average body type for a killer whale, weighing in at about 6 tons. Though they are not used often except for display and work purposes, their 4 inch teeth help grip dairy bottle crates. They also boast standard killer whale markings, but they display a swirly gray saddle-patch. It is unknown what gender they are.

## Personality

Duffy regards everybody as their friends, whether it's the first time meeting or long time acquaintances. They are incredibly mellow and willing to propose a business offer between all vendors. Despite being laid-back and usually friendly, Duffy can become skittish around peculiar things or events (often recounting those memories in an almost wary way.) It is unusual for Duffy to become aggressive, but will stand up for any of their friends. They often treat favored peers by generously giving more product to them during a transaction.

## History

Duffy once belonged to a pod of at least 10 whales, but left for seas closer to the Sands to sell their goods. Unbeknownst to other vendors, they also left because of their mother's cannibalistic actions towards their infant sibling. Since then, Duffy began selling their dairy products and travelling along delivery routes on a day-to-day basis.
Acacia

Acacia is a common city pigeon who takes pleasure in buying items and services of all kinds. For example on a typical market day she bought a waffle, two small bells, a bowl of soup and also had their fortune told. This kind of frivolous spending comes from Acacia's family's long history of fabulous wealth. Born and raised as a city pigeon she speaks in popular grammar which expresses itself in unnecessary pluralization, unnecessary and/or 'improper' punctuation, and capitalization of every word. Their speaking style includes also of repetition and is (usually) coherent. For example, "Hello,. I Am Pigeon I Buy The Thing, Yes Hello I Would Like To Do The Buying Of Your Wares. I Am The Acacia. Yes,"

 Business
 Blog

## Appearance

Acacia is a smallish pigeon with beautiful grey, green, and purple feathers. She has intense orange eyes which as she described them are her "Most Staggering Eyes Yes They Are Doing The Stares. Gaze At Wonder With My Sparkle-Wonder-Eyes". Her neck, as well, is described in such fashion with the phrase, "Aaah Much Floof And Bounce My Neck Yas." Her friend and business associate also described her neck as, "teh Eppitome of The Style ver WOw".

## Personality

Usually Acacia is quick to make friends and is generally very 'bouncy'. She will sometimes ask questions of people randomly and is disappointed if there is no response. Often it is her impulse to 'blitz the market' and buy everything, this leads to disappointment because she can often not find enough items to buy. However, Acacia is very inquisitive, positive, and outgoing. Much the foil of her sibling Terra who is more restrained and soft spoken.

## Family and Friends

Acacia comes from a large city where her any her sister Terra lived in until recently. Their family immigrated there from very far away very many years ago. Most of the records of the family's early history has been lost except for a few stories past down by the generations. They gained their wealth through the cracker manufacturing business, Acacia and Terra are the inheritors of the business which they decided to hand over to the workers so that they could travel the world and see other cultures. Currently Acacia is buying lots of things in order to "Simulaate The Wield Economoose".

Along the way Acacia made several close friends and business partners the two closest of which are a Night-jar and an Axolotl.

## Stance on Free-Market Capitalism

Given her history one can infer Acacia's position on capitalism but she has issued several contradictory statements on the matter. One such comment was, "Let The Bee Sell His Beautiful Honeys And The Dog His Tastelesss Rafts. I Am Hypothicalizing Thise I Know No Actuall Bees Nor Do I Know The Dogs."

She also stated in response to a question about her economic platform, "The Frees Could Be Less And The Governemetn Could Do The Mores The Ver Yas. Who Kows Maybe We All Be Happy Somday."
Oliver

Business
 Blog

Oliver is an elephant who sells coffee beans, which he grinds with his massive feet.

## Appearance

Oliver has the appearance of a large, brown African elephant with very large tusks.

## Personality

Oliver is slow to anger, but to anger him is a mistake indeed. He loses his temper when slandered or mocked, and has even threatened to Gunch others over these offenses. The worst thing he has been accused of is being an agent of the tratorious John Cancalosi, or even being Cancalosi himself. Oliver vehemently denies any connection between him and Cancalosi, even though several other vendors believe they are linked somehow. Oliver also has a low tolerance for mischief, and will often harshly rebuke the other vendors for their antics.

## History

Oliver has been in the business of selling coffee beans for a very long time. His shop is nearly as old as mankind itself, although he has taken two long hiatuses since then. In the first of these hiatuses, he dug into the earth's crust from which he was born and took a very long nap (which lasted 24600 years).

After his awakening in 400 B.C., Oliver reopened his shop, but had to take another hiatus after becoming embroiled in the Punic Wars. He became acquainted with General Hannibal of Carthage, and later became the general's personal war elephant during their crossing of the Alps, of which Oliver was the only surviving elephant.

Soon after the war's end, Oliver escaped his dark past and reopened his shop for the third and final time. Although he accidental entered an inter-dimensional void soon after, he was determined to keep his business open and continued to sell his wares in the void.

After returning from the Void, Oliver started a family. He has a wife (Sarah) and a daughter (Joanne).

== ==
Æthelric the Traitor

## Æthelric

Æthelric is an enemy of Seymour. He can destroy Seymour, and he wanders the space between worlds. Seymour refers to him as a cousin. Whenever people attempt to talk to him about Æthelric, he gets very aggressive, even for him.

1. ↑ http://sandsvendor100.tumblr.com/post/137860893414/beautiful-babyboy-has-anyone-ever-broken-your
2. ↑ http://sandsvendor100.tumblr.com/post/137861362109/can-you-tell-us-what-%C3%A6thelric-the-traitor-did
Gimmy

Species
 Business
 Blog

Gimmy is a caiman who runs the Kingdomme of the Groves Of Eurasia (Not to be confused with actual Eurasia). He has a known hatred for French onion soup and has a weakness to thyroxine.

## Appearance

Gimmy is a caiman who used to be of rather large stature, but after his chimney ascent, he shrunk, condensing his power. When Gimmy "Slipps And Anger Node," he grows tremendously, and takes on an appearance strikingly similar to Godzilla from the 2014 film.

## Personality

Gimmy seems to be very confident in his abilities. He is extremely prideful of his massive jaw. Gimmy also shows acute hostility to his foes and can lose his temper, which may lead to the slipping of his Anger Node. Gimmy is apparently quite knowledgeable; he allegedly skipped school because he knew everything. He has demonstrated a strange fondness in "Chese Snacks(Organism)." Gimmy is the king of the Eurasian Gorves, and must hold much power, because he banned an anonymous user for even mentioning the name of the anime, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Gimmy says he "Does Not Know What Fear Is" and that he only cried during the Nipulation of Elon Musk.

## History

Not much is known about Gimmy's origins, but he must be very old, because he claims that he was at the creation of man, stating that he remembers it like it was yesterday. Gimmy has several rivalries, too, in the forms of Sneet, Gordon Ramsay, and Chris Harrison. Sneet is implied to have been a long time nemesis, who was killed, and then revived, then killed again. The same goes for Gordon Ramsay, except he still appears to be alive. Chris Harrison appears to all as a good person, but Gimmy seems to know his "secret."
Tiberius

## {{delete}}

Tiberius is an alligator that lives in the South. He is trapped inside his swamp kingdoms by a powerful multi-dimensional barrier, though he tries many times of breach it. He is unrelated to Zhdun.

Compared to the other Sandsverse characters, Tiberius uses a strange variant of the traditional Sandsverse Vernacular, while using the regular style of talking, he also has symbols surrounding his words.

Example:

 **T̲̤̣̜̲̠̫ͧ̍ͮͤ̊̏̐͐ị̞̫̥̖͙̻̠̺̻̞̻̦͓̅́ͥͭ̂̈́ͥ̊ͨͮͫ̒̆̚̚b̼̩̪̗͓͙̰̩̩̤̃̽͌ͮ̋̆ͪͬ̔ĕ̪̺̦̅̌͗̌̃ͤ̍ͅr͔̻̭̼͓̞͙̖̘̩̭͖̲̙̗͍͇͊ͯͩ̔ͨͫ̂ͫ̾̎̐ͪͥ̽̃ͅi̘͈̬̪̦͉̯̪̩̦̻̮̪̓ͪ̓ͨ́́u̙̞͙̣̹̪͍͍̟̥̜͙̺͚̜̳ͪ͌̊ͤͩ̑͆ͅs͓̬̪̲̳̲̩̫̝̯̐ͤ̄͆͐ͤͬ̇̂͒**

He seems to posses great power as his eyes glow orange. He also claims to be "A god of chaos and disorder".

He has an extreme hatred for onions and his greatest enemy is an "onion man" that lurks in his swamps. (The onion man has a great deal of resemblance to Shrek)

He sells Bog Gas and Peat in order to gain more riches.

## Origins

After It Was Time Flowed Rightly And All Was So In The Land

Seymour BabyBoy Sensed A Great Disturbance In Space And Time And All The Great Many Dimensions And He Willed Himself To The Spot Of Disturbance And He Saw A Rip Hole In The Universe And From A Unknown Place A Preserve Surrounded Him And Seymour Said

“Take Form You Presence Or Leave This Place Now”

And The Presence Took Form And Was So

It Spoke

“I Am Tiberius, King Of Alligators And All Swamp Land And Bogs”

And Seymour said

“What (Or Where) Is A Swamp”

*“̱͎͓̲̤̗͈̦͚̦̦͉͓͓̫̳ͩͭ̏̐̅̈́̀**H̰̞̤̣̦͎̎́̂̃̇͆̄͌͊̅ ͎͕̞̤̪̩̘͗̑̓ͬ͑E̜̟̲̳̗͔̩̦̯̤͉͚̽ͯͤ͂̆ ̱̞͇̹̰͖̤̍ͪͪ̈Ṛ̭̯̪̲̙̳̹̺͍̺̥̟̻̐ͯ̓̎͛̓̐̍̉ͫ̏̔̎̎̍͊ͦ͆ ͖̮̼̤͔̱̫͇̦̺̔ͫͧͣ͂͂̋̍̔̍̾̀ͪͦ̐ͯͫE̝̗͍͇̥͇ͩ́ͯͩ̍̃̈͂̚”̦̲̪͚̦͍̝̤̗̬̬̥̰͗ͨͧͧ̏̍ͣ̀***

Said Tiberius

And He Gave A Great Bellow And Slapped His Tail On The Dusty Dry Ground And The It Shook And Cracked And From The Cracks A Trickle Of Water And Murk Came Forth. The Trickle Came Soon Into A Large Gush And Soon There Was A Big Swamp Bog

“ Oh ”
said Seymour
And He Left

## Horace

Tiberius may dislike Horace the Boar as he is a cold blooded reptile who resides in swamps, though this is a rumor.

## Trivia

* He is friends with another non-canonical character, Officer Terence, who has tried to help resolve his issues with The Green Onion Man.
* He is Protestant, as shown with his conversation regarding Pope Small with Donny.
* He has no wife, but a unnamed crocodile cousin.
* His full title is "Tiberius, King of Alligators, The Pan-dimensional Ruler of All Swamps, Emperor Of Everglades, Hater of Onions, The Great Hunter, The Submerged Lurker, The Timeless one, The Scaly Reaper, Master of Marshes, Lord of Lagoons, Boss Of The Bog, Begzade of the Bayou, Fürst of the Fen, Sultan of Slough and Swale, The Strong Boy With Stronger Teeths, And The Wielder Of The Demipenteract".
* He has a secret machine of unknown use and origin hidden under his swamp.
* He has "*Almost* Unlimited Power"
* He has a cousin named Eddie, a crocodile who sells eggs.
Anthology of Chains

This article is about a real-world publication.

The Anthology of Chains is a book of novellas and short stories focusing on the Faith, the Worldchains and the mystery of Skarg and Esterana. Elred is a recurring antagonist in several of the stories.

## List of Stories

1. Illusions of Gold
	* A novella about Malco, a student at the Academy of Var'malkus, and his battle with a cell of the Cult of Skarg.
2. The Mortal Link
	* A novella about Ari, a teenage girl who discovers she has the powers of a Hexmage.
3. Tears of White
	* A novella about Rickard, a member of the Sullen Messenger Guild whose brother Callan is murdered, and his quest to complete Callan's last wish - to open a portal to the Rue.
4. The Kingcleaver
	* A novella about Sammon, an artificer and ex-pirate who steals the powerful Kingcleaver. The Kingcleaver is a weapon capable of repelling magic, and Sammon uses it to hunt for Elred, who killed her husband.
5. Frost and Blood
	* A novelette about an unconnected ice tribe, who worship Tzvisha. The priests in this tribe use jade idols to stage battles between frost bears. The story tells of Gua, a child girl who develops a connection with one of these frost bears.
6. The Nexus
	* A short story that details the process by which the Ashard captured the Ishi in crystals to create Nexi.
Roll

## An Unsettling Abomination

 Business
 Blog

ROLL is an elephant seal with a horrifying penchant for crushing. While not officially confirmed, ROLL and his family most likely originate from The Good Ages of Digging and Playing, when Seymour banished a certain party of naughty cousins to the rocky shores of a distant and dark sea. He condemned these cousins to "roll and mash without end," which seem to be the habits of ROLL and his family now. Unlike his physical appearance suggests, ROLL is not related to Zhdun. ROLL made his first post on March 9, 2017.

## Personality

ROLL is an aggressive, crush-hungry seal. He particularly enjoys videos of objects being crushed by hydraulic presses. Napping on the shore and karaoke are also among his favorite pastimes.

## Crushing Abilities

ROLL has the ability to completely obliterate a wide variety of objects, gaining their mass in the process. This includes snails, shells, plastic cups, etc. He can even completely crush multiple coconuts at once, utilizing only 1/8th of his entire body weight. In time, as ROLL continues to Mash and Absorb matter, no atom shall escape his "Crushing Warmth and Body-Weight."

## Other Known Elephant Seals

ROLL is particularly close to his boy-squire STUMP. Only four other elephant seals are identified by name: GRUDGE, FUCK, WALLOP, and DOLLOP.
Joseph

Species
 Business
 Blog

Joseph DeerBoy is a Pudu Deer (usually just referred to as "small deer") who sells Gallium, which is element 31 on the periodic table. Joseph speaks in typical Sand Vernacular. Joseph possesses a "Phantom Cube" which he uses as his primary weapon of choice. Joseph has a notable dislike of grass, moss, and all other green cover plants.

## Appearance

Joseph appears as a young Pudu Deer with brown fur and white spots.

## Personality

Joseph's small, soft outward appearance conceal a vindictive and almost cruel personality. On many occasions he has resorted to petty threats of violence upon being insulted, and other times he resorts to outright use of force to prove his point. Joseph is also self-righteous and boastful, often displaying shows of force for no reason other than to gain attention.

## History/Origins

Presently, little is known of Joseph's backstory or origins, outside of the fact that his "Phantom Cube" weapon was passed down through the generations of his "DeerBoy Family".

## Relationships

**With Roberta:** Roberta and Joseph are enemies who frequently attack and insult one another. While Roberta is more physically powerful than Joseph, Joseph was able to scare her a great deal after using his Cube to obliterate an entire town.

**With Oswald:** Little is known of Oswald and Joseph's relationship, other than that they seem to be on good terms.
Earl

Earl is an Emperor Tamarin Monkey that sells his knowledge. He is very wise but struggles to spell the word "knowledge" correctly as seen in his posts and blog description.

It was revealed in this post that he crashed a helicopter into a pool and has since become wise, suggesting that he once wasn't. His favourite colour is "true green" and has stated that humans cannot see this green, only false green.

## References

1. ↑ https://earlsthinks100.tumblr.com/post/178101876710/sandvendor100-earlsthinks100-today-a
2. ↑ https://earlsthinks100.tumblr.com/post/178103631915/earlsthinks100-my-favourite-color-is-true-green
Oskar “PROJECT OCTAVIUS 2.5” Oxnard Octavius

Oskar is a Jacob's four horned sheep, living in a compound in the Sandsverse. He loves poetry and dark jokes, and is always eager to make new friends.

## Abilities

Oskar is able to make soap from any material into any shape. His hair color can change at will, and his horns fall off when irritated. Oskar's Sands Vernacular replaces all instances of 'o' outside of 'soap' and 'Oskar' with 'x' and doubles any instance of the letter 'i'.

## **Relationships**

Oskar enjoys Fredrick and Chester Bee's company, and gives them a special discount.
Astaroth

Species
 Business
 Blog

Astaroth is an Ethiopian Wolf that sells bells of all kinds. He has large bells, small bells, magic bells, plain bells, jingle bells, church bells, and many more bells. Despite the fact that he comes from a distant land, he appears to speak fluent Sands Vernacular, albeit in third person. His home language appears to sound like anagrams with random letters thrown in.

For example: "How are you?" becomes "Woah zrea oyu?''

## Appearance

Astaroth appears to be a common Ethiopian Wolf, with a slim, fox or dingo-like face, a short bushy tail, and russet colored fur. However, strangely enough, it should be noted that his eyes are usually squinty to a point of being closed (despite portrayal in images). Not many have seen his eyes opened--And he doesn't seem blind, not by a long shot.

## Personality

Astaroth is enigmatic. He seems wise well beyond his years, full of some kind of knowledge yet to be exploited. He seems calm and peaceful enough, and no evil motivation appears to lurk behind his actions. However, his eerie inability to be unfazed by things most would deem alarming; and his general lack of emotion can be off-putting and even intimidating. He appears to lack a sense of humor as well. This mysteriously grave Ethiopian Wolf isn't the best guest to have at parties.

## Origin

No one knows exactly where Astaroth hails from. He doesn't talk much about his home land, and merely refers to it as his 'Home World', as opposed to the common 'Home Land'. This might suggest that Astaroth is from an entirely different planet, or even dimension. Yet, it remains a mystery, as it is nigh impossible to get details of his home out of him. One can assume, however, that is most likely a very unpleasant place to live--for he has implied that a common force at work there are powerful demonic entities.

More information of his home will be added if it comes up.
Morbitum

Morbitum consuming a mouse.

Morbitum is a frog that lives in "The Swamp" and sells "Salty Sea Sands". Strangely, he does observe the capitalization quirk of Sands Vernacular, however he frequently misspells things and uses "U" in place of "You".

He has also been observed selling formalwear, presumably suits, in the context of a store called Morbitum's Big and Tall. He also briefly ran a catalog for "Heterosexual Men".

## Appearance

Morbitum appears to take on the form of several frog species, changing between nearly every encounter. You will not know it is him until it's too late.

## Personality

Morbitum is a mostly passive individual, except for when he or things he believes in or cares for are threatened or insulted.

Morbitum believes strongly in responsibility and honor. He also has a great passion for all things mud.

## Relationships

Despite allegedly having created the universe together with Elmer, Morbitum seems to have a disdain for the Ape, claiming that his fruits are fraudulent. He is, however, close friends with Seymour and his family.

He owns a creature named S'carb and at least three gremlins, one of which is named Old Man.

Morbitum has shown that he greatly dislikes the Beastie Boys. For what reason is unknown.

He claims Kermit the Frog is his great uncle, and also his "great grand uncle".

WarriorMale is his honorary son.

## Events

Morbitum resolved the Lent Incident by hitting Elmer in the head with a log.

## References

1. ↑ Tumblr Post by justlittlefrogthings
2. ↑ Tumblr Post by justlittlefrogthings
3. ↑ Tumblr Post by justlittlefrogthings
Epic Of The Boy

The **Epic Of The Boy** is an epic poem written by Riley the ferret, featured on a secret page on his blog (http://spicemerchant100.tumblr.com/story), released on January 29, 2016, which tells the story of Riley's creation and life, as well as his falling-out with his former business partner, Johnny.

## Full Text

> "Once Upon A Time Long Pass
>
>

> A Few Big Boy Did Stand Agast
>
>
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> A Fearfull Event Soon Come To Pass
>
>
>
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> The People Make There Choices Mass
>
>

> Cling Together With There Souls
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> Hope To Avoid Deadly Colds
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> Riley Born From The Ashen Waste
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>
>
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> Spirit Of Woe And Soul Of Haste
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> Combine Souls With Soul Of Self
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>
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> Makes For Strength And Good Boy Wealth
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> Crafted By Good God Anu
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>
>
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> To This Big Legend Rings True
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>

> Crafted Of Cool Solid Bronze
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>
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> Lapis And A Spice Melange
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> Psionic Power Rings Through Sands
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>
>
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> New World Feature’s New Ruling Hands
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>

> Put Upon The Rolling Dunes
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>
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> O'er Stone With Holy Runes
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> He Finds Himself With Ferret Friand
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> Rowd Around Until Time Began
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> Boy Emerge At Time Of Frog
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>
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> When He Was Young, He Hop On Log
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> Journey For Aeons Late
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>
>
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> Until Find Oasis State
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>

> Hub Of Sale, He Learn’d His Trade
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>
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> Something Which His Brethren Forbade
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> True To His New Craft, He Ventured ‘Round
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>
>
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> Until He Hear A Whistling Sound
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> That Sound He Found Was A Brown Bear
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>
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> Jast Sleeping Around Within He Lair
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> A Baby Boy Johnny Was His Name
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> Selling Spice Was Also His Game
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> The Two Ventured Together Through And Through
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>
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> A Bond So Tight Nothing Separate The Two
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> Until They Heard ‘Nother Whistling Sound
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>
>
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> But No Friend Was Abound
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>

> Upon That Day The Empire Fell
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>
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> The Two Friend Greed Made Spice Sale Unwell
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> For On That Day They Found Their Lead
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>
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> A Holy Blessed Pepper Seed
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>

> Within The Temple, Made Of Stone
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> A Bag Of These Did Stagnant Roam
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> And Beneath Those Sand Seeped Stone
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> The Two Friends Fought, Were Driven Alone
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> Make Of With Spice That Johnny Did
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> Go Away And He Did Hid
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> Now Riley Search For Greater Spice
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> Prove To Johnny He Is More Nice
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> For If Johnny Fulfils Pepper Curse
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> All Things In Sands Become Much Worse
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> A Death Of Eternal Harmony
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> Will He Succeed, We Will See
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>

> For Now Riley Freely Roam
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> Without Shop And Without Home
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> But Still Fire Burns In Heart Bright
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>
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> Get Ready To Smunch Big Bear Some Night"
>
>
RUSSELL!

RUSSELL! is a violent and muscular young proboscis monkey, and the nephew of Elmer. Elmer and Russell have a turbulent relationship, as Russell often terrorizes his uncle with his great strength and power. Russell has thrown his uncle into the sky, and threatened to send him to the trenches.

Russell has been called a "three inch fool," which could mean that Russell is very small. However Russell has also also been called a "SIZABLE STAFF SARGENT"  which alludes to his large size and military rank as Staff Sargent.

Russell enjoys Pepsi.

### Relationships

Elmer is Russell's uncle. Russell seems to be the only nephew of Elmer we have met.

Sound Cloud and Griselda are either Russel's sisters or cousins (all we know is that they share Elmer as an Uncle).

 Russell has mentioned having many Uncles, who he seems to be the boss of.

1. ↑ https://fruitsoftheape100.tumblr.com/search/russel
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 https://fruitsoftheape100.tumblr.com/search/russell
Kara

Kara is a polar bear who resides on the island of Torple.

## Personality

Kara is very friendly and does not understand the rivalries in the Sandsverse. She assumes she is everyone's friend and always believes the best case scenario is certain.

## Torple

At some point between July 25 and November 28, 2016, Kara was lost at sea and eventually found an island, which she named Torple. She lives on the island and is in the process of exploring it. Much is unknown about Torple, but there is a "shapeless mass" with "slow molecules" on the back side of the island. The mass has been named Namulous.
Horace

Business
 Blog

Horace is a boar that lives in the north.

He has an ongoing rivalry with the fruit salesmonkey, Elmer. This is due to the monkey's attitude towards Horace: such as insulting his girth, criticizing his maize harvest, and even going so far as to threaten to revoke the boar's fief.

Horace is extremely powerful, being able to shape even the toughest earth with his mighty hooves. He protects the world from some of the most fearsome monsters imaginable, such as Baba Yaga, goblins, and the Wendigo.

Despite this tough and bristly exterior, however, Horace is a skilled poet. He writes of everything from climate diversity to his duties as a boar, all while managing to keep a constant iambic meter.

On February 15th, 2017, the Breach caused Horace's blog to initiate lockdown. He later came out of hiding to combat Zhdun directly, appearing to sacrifice himself in order to free Seymour and Elmer.

His favorite food is corn.

## Origins

Horace came out of a valley shaped by Seymour at the end of the Great Ages of Digging and Playing. He refers to himself as a warden, although this is not mentioned in his blog.

## Elmer

Horace's relationship with Elmer is explicitly negative. The two have gone back and forth several times, and they view each other as rivals. Elmer has once asked Horace to climb into his oven, to which he originally agrees before seemingly realizing that Elmer planned to eat him.

## references

1. ↑ http://fruitsoftheape100.tumblr.com/post/144294288344/boarofthenorth100-dose-anyone-gnow-of-a-good
2. ↑ http://boarofthenorth100.tumblr.com/post/147220768214/yes-goblins-and-baba-yaga-are-real-and-yes-they
3. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onrGlrtGYQI
4. ↑ http://fruitsoftheape100.tumblr.com/post/151246748454/boarofthenorth100-fruitsoftheape100
5. ↑ http://boarofthenorth100.tumblr.com/post/151246800499/fruitsoftheape100-boarofthenorth100
Gary the Sloth

Species
 Business
 Blog

Gary is a Three-Toed Sloth who "redistributes" bananas from the rich and gives them to the poor. He speaks in a slightly more refined version of Sandsverse Vernacular and in Corrupted Text. Gary is the adopted son of Aaron the Sheep and Oswald the Pangolin. Gary was born out of a singularity of cosmic energy, granting him the title of "NewBoy", as well as a slew of cosmic powers. Gary has an automaton servant named Gimble who fights in various battles in Gary's stead.

## Appearance

In all of his appearances, Gary appears as an adolescent Three-Toed Sloth. He appears to be somewhat damp or moist in his photograph.

## Personality

Gary is a typically good and morally just, but with a slight rebellious streak due to his young age. He frequently clashes with his father, Aaron, over the family business of selling toothbrushes. Gary is a pacifist, electing not to fight in various battles with his companions. however, his cosmic powers sometimes overtake his usually good mindset.

## History/Origins

Gary was not born, rather created by a massive vacuum of cosmic power caused by the banishment of a dark god that collapsed into a singularity of pure energy. This reflux of power caused a "Holy Embryo" to be created, of which became Gary. Aaron the Sheep is regarded to be Gary's father, as it was Aaron who banished this dark god. The pangolin Oswald formally adopted Gary and then promptly took a leave of abscence, leaving Gary in Aaron's posession. Gary eventually broke from the family tradition of toothbrush sales, and ran way to Transylvania for six hundred years, where he created Gimble and took up the noble profession of redistributing bananas to the impoverished people of Transylvania.

## Abilities

Gary has an extremely powerful repertoire of abilities and magic powers, as well as a library of runes, sigils, and wards, all of which are unspecified in their origin and power.
Sybil

Sybil is a cougar vendor who sells and brews potions of various use to her fellow denizens of the Sandsverse.

 Business
 Blog

## Appearance

Sybil is an average sized cougar who sports reddish brown and tan fur and brownish orange eyes. Her whiskers are a bit long to help her detect potential potion ingredients. She's really not all that different from any other cat of the Sandsverse.

## Personality

Sybil is a headstrong but kind vendor. She sometimes may haggle over prices, but is generally accepting. She has no known rivalries and is known only to get angry or upset when it comes to her wares, i.e. them being stolen or not purchased.

## Trivia

* She speaks in Standard Sands Vernacular with a few random semicolons or commas thrown in.
* She lives near the border of the forest to be close to business in the sands and still be able to gather potion components.
* She was formerly known as Saffron until she became 'of age' in what she referred to as 'cat tradition' and ventured to the 9th Stellar Stratus Echelon to visit relatives so she would learn her name.
* She has educated herself in Runes, but is still strictly an amateur. She uses the magickal knowledge gained to aid her in the production of her brews.
Lionel

Business
 Blog

Lionel is a babirusa who lives at the entrance to the terrifying Sticky Caves, which contain the Heart of Probability (guarded by an entity known as the Large One, described as "obstreperous"). The Heart is claimed by Lionel and his team of scientists to contain the Book of Shapes, but Elmer disagrees with him on this. Lionel was born in the Sea of Trees, but was kidnapped many years ago.  He speaks in a language somewhat similar to Sands Vernacular.  The purpose of his blog is to compel people to donate money to him, to fund his many goals. These goals include:

* returning to the Sea of Trees
* becoming Emperor (it is unknown what Lionel wants to become emperor of)
* swallowing the sun
* passing the Wade-Davis Bill
* destroying all land trees

Lionel has three known unnamed family members: a Uintatherium, a Chalicotherium, and a *Dickinsonia costata*. They apparently speak to him in dreams.