Two Goblin Practitioners make a bargain

Characters in this scene: Karma, GangGreen

The time had been agreed on, the place was behind the south side McDonald's. The woman arrived a bit early to scope for traps or tricks and to set up some basic wards.

She was in her mid or late twenties. Her sandy hair was in a messy ponytail, wisps of hair floating about her head and face as she moved. Her green eyes darted back and forth, and she compulsively chewed at her bottom lip. She wore nice clothing that had gotten a bit scuffed and worn, a green blazer over a white blouse, with a matching skirt and a pair of pumps the same color.

She was accompanied by two goblins: a squat creature that came up to her waist with a froglike appearance, and a smaller knee height creature that supported itself on knuckles as much as it did its feet.

After all, she wasn't going to come unprepared to fight.

Gang Green pulled his truck into the McDicks parking lot. Stepping out of it with a racoon on his shoulder, "Hope we're not late."

He began to walk to the back

"Hello! You're Miss Business?"

She turned as she heard the voice, and she gave a crooked grin that showed a few too many teeth.

"That's me. Should I call you Mr. Green, then, keep this nice and anonymous?"

"Nope! call me Gang Green, sounds better that way, This is Raggie." he points to the racoon on his shoulder.

"Alright, Gang Green. Hi Raggie." She hooked a thumb at the froglike creature. "That's Bumsnot, the other one is Bill."

She dipped a hand into a hidden pocket and pulled out a small clutch. "You got the gob?"

"Yup right here." He reached into his hoodie pocket at pulled out an unconscious goblin. "I drugged him so he won't try to bite you."

"That's appreciated." She opened the clutch and dug out two tens before stowing it again. "He's already bound, or do I need to do it?"

"Bound? nah he's pretty dumb never had to" Gang Green walked up to pass Sneezebag over.

She handed the cash over and took the unconscious goblin. "Huh. Alright then." She half-turned and handed it to the frog goblin.

"Thanks for making the trip. You got anywhere you gotta be after this?"

He took the cash and shoved it into his pants pocket, "not today, might hang around the city for a bit."

"That advice still on the table? I'm hoping to find a tiger?"

"Great. I can show you some tricks I've picked up." She chuckled. "Dunno about a tiger, but let's see what we can find."

She started walking down the alley behind the McDick's. Her goblins followed, grumbling a bit at the idea of going deeper into the city.

"There's a park not too far from here where a lot of goblins congregate."

"Sweet let me just grab my shit!" he called after her. He ran to his truck with a noticeable limp and grabbed a back pack, which he shoved a mace into. The handle of the mace can be seen poking from the top of the bag.

She slowed a bit, waiting for him to catch up. "Neat mace. Goblin weapon, or regular?"

She pointed as they got to the end of the alley. "This way." //

"Goblin, one of my bigger guys. No offense, but I'm not so trusting to follow without a way to fuck shit up. I won't try anything unless you give me reason to" Looking at Gang Greens eyes would show a sickly green light, the telltale sign of the Sight.

Business grinned a bit. "Smart man. Don't worry, I didn't come with the intent of attacking you."

She cut across the street, her two goblins struggling to keep up. "What do you do for a living, Gang?"

"I drive around selling my product and doing odd jobs for practitioners here and there, you?" He punted the smaller goblin to give it a boost.

"Real estate." She chuckled. "Hit me up if you're ever looking to move to the area."

Bill yelped as he was booted forward. He turned his face up towards Gang Green and growled, pulling his lips back to show all of his teeth and shards of glass embedded in his gums.

"Be good, you cocksucker. Either speed up or take your beating like a good bitch." Business pointed her finger, and the chimp-like creature growled again as he sped up.

"Christ Bill, I was just helping."

"Heh bitch." Raggie mumbled half asleep from his shoulder.

"At least you got a firm hand -- boot, I guess. Dunno how many people I've met who thought Goblin Magic was easy and ended up getting walked all over by the little shitheads."

"Been doing it for a while and I was honestly just trying to do the little guy a favour. We almost at this park?"

"Yeah, just down this road here." She chuckled.

"Why don't we see how fast you are in the woods, fuckstain? Bet I could catch you easy there."

"Fuck off, Bill. Be silent." Business shook her head as she stepped into the park.

"Well to be honest I'm pretty slow with my gimped leg but Bloodgusher here," Gang Green patted the mace handle, " is 7 feet tall and I'm sure he would be willing to wear you skin as a loin cloth."

"Seven feet? Sure you got a goblin and not a troll or something?" Business chuckled. "How'd you bind him? That seems tough."

"Coincidently he's the reason for my limp and that's a secret."

"Ha, I guess that's fair." She headed towards a copse of trees. "There's a ton of little fuckers around here that I can use my tricks on to demonstrate. "

"Sweet."

Gang Green checked the time "by the way I drugged Sneezebag like 6 hours ago so he might wake up soon."

"Bumsnot, you keep hold of that goblin until I say otherwise. Don't make me regret bringing you, or you'll regret it three times over."

The frog nodded, twisting its fingers into Sneezebag's hair.

"Goblins of these woods, you know who I am and why I'm here. If there are any here who want to take a risk for some power, come fucking try me."

Gang Green takes a couple steps back from her, having just cleaned his hoodie. "I'll give whoever wins a beer!" he called out while pulling a warm can of beer out of his bag.

The trees rustled, and a few goblins poked their heads out curiously. Business pointed at one. "You wanna try me again, Shortcock? I bet I can completely geld you this time."

The goblin in question was shoved forward by others, and he grumbled as he reached down to scratch at his mangled genitals. "I beat you, I cut off your head and fuck your neckhole," he threatened.

"Yeah, yeah, I know your style." She reached into her pocket and came out with a length of barbed wire wrapped around three small weapons: a dagger with the most of the handle gone, a set of twisting spikes of steel, and another knife with spikes jutting out of its handle.

Shortcock seemed uncomfortable with the bound weapons as she removed it. "So," Business said, "with fuckers like these, I like to use a reminder of their fate if I bind them. It really throws 'em off, and the three-fold binding of goblins into weapons has a bit of oomph to it."

She took confident steps towards the goblin, grinning.

"Huh I don't think I've ever done that to be honest. At least not on purpose." He cracked open the beer can and took a sip, "Better hurry Shortcock, might not have much beer left!"

Shortcock growled. "Fuck you and fuck her and fuck all this!" He lunged forward.

Business cackled and raised her foot to drive the heel of her pump into his face. "The headlong method. Has that ever worked for you, soon-to-be No Cock?" She pushed with her foot, driving the goblin back and away. She swung the barbed wire at him, snickering as the spikes and barbs and blades caught and cut into him.

He took a gulp of the beer "Hey soon-to-be No Cock was your name LongCock before she cut it off?"

The goblin made a noise somewhere between a growl and a pitiful whine. Business smirked. "Tell him, Shortcock!"

"Fuck you, Karma bitch! I'll use your face to wipe the sweat from my balls every day after this!" The goblin jumped at Business again.

For her part, she raised the barbed wire and used it to catch him. "You really do just copy what everyone else says, don't you?" She chuckled and wrapped the barbed wire and weapons around his neck three times. "You take a step, and I activate those weapons, unless you swear fealty to me once more."

Shortcock groaned, stomping his feet. "Same conditions as last time!" he barked. "And you don't cut my dick off!"

"Same conditions as last time, and I won't cut your dick off." She rolled her eyes as Shortcock turned into a short, heavy axe.

Gang Green pulled the mace out of his backpack, "Hey do you wanna get him into his goblin form for a sec? Oh! here's your beer." He passed the half empty beer to her.

She chuckled and took the can. "Thanks. You gonna wail on him with that mace?"

"Well we both said he was soon-to-be No Cock and as of right now he still has one."

She snickered. "You're right. Shortcock, become a goblin!" The axe reverted back to the goblin form.

"Have at him, Gang Green." Business leaned against a tree, chuckling.

"But-- you said!"

"I said I wouldn't cut off your cock. I didn't say Gang Green wouldn't."

The moment Gang Green saw the little bugger, he strode forward. "Raggie wake up and pin this fucker!" Hearing this Raggie jumped from his shoulder and transformed the moment she hit the ground. Ragsplatter was about four and a half feet tall, with long greasy hair stained with blood. She was wearing a ripped lacy bra and white parachute pants stained a variety of colours. Raggie charged soon-to-be No Cock and leapt onto his face knocking him over and she wrapped her legs around his neck. Gang Green, who hadn't stopped striding forward, Shouted out, "Ball buster!" He swung the mace down hitting the poor bastard in between the legs, showering all three of them in blood. "Fuck, I forgot how much blood this guy makes," he said gesturing to the mace in hand. "You can get off him now Raggie."

Business snickered as No Cock cried out in pain and agony. "No Cock!" she shouted over his wails. "No Cock! Do you want me to stop the bleeding?"

"Fuck you, bitch! *Fuck!*"

"I can stop the bleeding, No Cock! For three more tasks, I'll do it!" She grinned. "I'll stop you from bleeding to death from your ballsack!"

The goblin took a few moments to strangle out an agreement. Business approached. She plucked the knife with its missing handle off of the barbed wire. "Spittle, I need some heat. I'll feed you something good at home, just get nice and hot for me."

She hissed as she felt the heat surge through the blade. With a wicked grin, she lowered it to the bleeding spot between No Cock's legs. The goblin screamed and kicked as she cauterized his dick.

When all was said and done, she bound him back to weapon form and tucked his handle into the waistband of her skirt.

"Well this was fun, if you need help with anything just let me know. I'll probably charge you but I'll give you the friend discount." he said has he attempted to wipe the blood off of himself. "Or if you just wanna have some fun, won't charge you for that."

Business chuckled. "Right back at ya, pal." She reached into her clutch once more and brought forth a business card. She passed it to him with a small flourish.

On the front were two separate numbers below a name: *Karma Dixon, Dixon Real Estate.*

"Wait your name's Karma? Are you a bitch?" he grabbed the card, while Raggie climbed back up to his shoulder as a racoon.

She grinned. "Baddest bitch around these parts. It's a whole story, I don't wanna get into it right now. You have a safe drive back, alright?"

"Thanks, you stay safe too." with that Gang Green started the walk back to his truck.