Not Quite Famous

**Not Quite Famous** is the fifth episode from *Total Drama Island*, the first season of *Total Drama*.

## Characters

* Chris McLean
* Gwen
* Lindsay
* DJ
* Sadie *(no lines)*
* Harold
* Katie *(no lines)*
* Courtney
* Duncan *(no lines)*
* Bridgette
* Justin *(no lines)*
* Beth
* Leshawna *(no lines)*
* Heather
* Lindsay
* Izzy
* Owen
* Trent
* Cody
* Tyler *(no lines)*
* Geoff
* Chef Hatchet *(appears on "Chef-O-Meter")*
* Red Ants

## Recap

* **Chris:**: Last time on Total Drama Island. The Killer Bass finally dodged their pathetic losing streak against the Screaming Gophers. There were bruises, tears, risky moves, and dangerous alliances. And in the end, it was Noah the know-it-all, who didn't see it coming. This week, another challenge will send one more camper on a cruise to Loserville, population: 4. Who will sink? And who will stay afloat? Find out right now, on Total, Drama Island. *(theme song)*

## Opening: Lindsay Runs Out of Fake Tanner

* *(The episode begins outside of the girls' cabin.)*
* **Lindsay:** Okay, this is so way beyond bad! I'm out of fake tanner already!
* **Gwen:** *(sarcastic)* Woah, that's tragic, Lindsay.
* **Lindsay:** Now I have to actually like, suntan, in the sun! *(Gwen, uninterested, licks her hand and fixes the back of her hair)* Do you realize how shriveled and wrinkly that can make your skin? *(Lindsay grabs the same piece of Gwen's hair)* Oh, you totally do!

## A Talent Contest

* *(Chris turns on the PA, which frightens a sleeping seagull.)*
* **Chris:**: All right campers, enough beauty sleep. Time to show us what you're made of!
* *(Scene switches to the campers sitting in an outdoor amphitheater.)*
* **Lindsay:** Are we gonna see a musical? I love musicals, especially the ones with singing and dancing.
* **Trent:** Gwen, saved you a seat. *(Gwen sits)*
* **Gwen:** Thanks.
* *(Heather sees Gwen and Trent together. Trent leans on the bench and crosses his legs. Cody copies Trent, but he falls, he continues doing the same thing. Lindsay blows a kiss to Tyler and Heather sees this. Lindsay smilies sheepishly and hides her arms. Heather whacks her face with her ponytail. Lindsay spits out a piece of Heather's hair.)*
* **Chris:**: Welcome to our brand new deluxe state of the art outdoor amphitheater! Okay, this week's challenge is a summer camp favorite, a talent contest!
* **Owen:** Yes! Awesome!
* **Chris:**: Each team has eight hours to pick their three most talented campers. These three will represent them in the show tonight. Sing, dance, juggle, anything goes *(looks at Duncan)* as long as it's legal. *(Duncan snaps his fingers, implying he was gonna do something illegal)* You'll be judged by our resident talent scout, former DJ, VJ, and rap legend, grand master Chef, who will show his approvial via the Chef-O-Meter. *(the Chef-O-Meter appears and dings)* The team that loses will send one camper home tonight. Good luck.

## The Campers' Auditions (1)

* *(Heather blows a whistle.)*
* **Heather:** Okay, I'm the team captain, so here's how it's going to work.
* **Gwen:** Wait, who said you were team captain?
* **Lindsay:** She did, just now.
* **Heather:** Lindsay, Beth and I took a vote, and I won.
* **Gwen:** Threatening them to vote for you, isn't exactly democratic. *(Trent walks to Gwen and offers her a muffin)*
* **Trent:** Hey, snagged you an extra muffin. *(Heather gets bothered and then smiles)*
* **Heather:** Trent, you're cool with me leading this project, aren't you?
* **Trent:** Right on, go for it.
* **Heather:** Good, Beth, Lindsay and I will be the judges. *(Beth and Lindsay are excited)*
* **Gwen:** *(sighs)* Whatever.
* *(Scene cuts to Killer Bass, Katie and Sadie are the first to audition by dancing. Bridgette looks shocked and Courtney is unimpressed. Scene cuts to the Gophers. For his auditon, Owen downs a liter of soda.)*
* **Trent:** Are you gonna audition?
* **Gwen:** Doubtful. You should be in this, though. I heard you the other night by the dock. You're really good. *(Heather is bothered by this again and watches Owen)*
* **Owen:** *(throws away the bottle of soda and burps the entire alphabet)* A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z! *(the guys praise for Owen, but the girls are disgusted)* Yes! *(Owen and Trent high five)*
* **Trent:** That was excellent, man!
* **Heather:** *(scoffs)* Well you're not going to do that in this contest, that's disgusting!
* **Trent:** Do you know how hard it is to burp the entire alphabet in one go?
* **Owen:** *(pulls down his pants)* I can also toot Beethoven's Fifth.
* **Girls:** No, no, Owen! *(Gwen walks out)*
* **Heather:** Where are you going?
* **Gwen:** Anywhere that's not here.
* *(Scene cuts back to Bass, Tyler is the next to audition, Tyler plays with his yo-yo and wraps it around himself, Courtney facepalms.)*
* **Chris:**: Man, that is weak.
* *(Scene cuts back to Gophers, Heather, auditioning, is in a ballerina outfit and performs a ballerina dance. The Gophers are impressed and give an applause.)*
* **Heather:** Thank you. *(Beth and Lindsay clap as well, Heather clears her throat to get their attention)*
* **Lindsay:** Oh, I vote for Heather to be in the contest.
* **Beth:** I second that.

## Lindsay Spies on Gwen

* **Heather:** Guys, that's so sweet. Okay, I guess I'm in. Why doesn't everyone take five? *(the rest of the Gophers head off for a five-minute break. Before Lindsay could leave with Beth, Heather grabs her arm)* I need you to do something. Can you keep it a secret?
* **Lindsay:** Oh my gosh, definitely, my sister got diarrhea once on a date and I had to bring her toilet paper because the restaurant was all out cause she was stuck in the bathroom and I never told a soul. *(she realizes she said all of that on camera)* Oops, sorry, Paula... *(Heather gives Lindsay a walkie-talkie)*
* **Heather:** Gwen's up to something serious. I want you to follow her and report back to me.
* *(Lindsay watches Gwen writing her diary through binoculars.)*
* **Lindsay:** "Serious?" Yeah, seriously boring. *(she sees Tyler still stuck with his yo-yo wrapped around him. She focuses on his butt)* Ooh, that's not boring.

## The Campers' Auditions (2)

* *(DJ performs a ribbon dance. The Bass are impressed, while Courtney isn't.)*
* **Courtney:** Fine. Sign him up. Next.
* **Bridgette:** Me, I can stand on my hands for twenty minutes, watch. *(she does a handstand)*
* **Courtney:** Okay, that'd be cute if you were a monkey. I just don't think it's quite what we're looking for. Next. *(Harold proceeds to audition next, but is immidiately rejected right before he could catch his breath)* Next. *(Harold sighs disappointedly)*

## Lindsay and Tyler Make Out

* *(In the communal bathroom, Lindsay and Tyler are seen making out.)*
* **Heather:** Lindsay, come in. What did you find out, over? Lindsay, where are you? *(Tyler grabs the walkie-talkie and passes it to Lindsay)*
* **Lindsay:** Uuh, on my way back, under!

## The Campers' Auditions (3)

* *(Next to audition is Geoff. He rides his skateboard and does some tricks and stops on a tree stump. He presses the tip of the skateboard with his foot, flips it, and catches it. The Bass cheer.)*
* **Harold:** Awesome.
* **Bridgette:** *(to Courtney)* Well, I guess it's Geoff, DJ's ribbon thing and your solo.
* **Geoff:** I'm gonna be on TV, man! *(DJ gives a thumbs up)*
* **Bridgette:** You're already on TV, Geoff.
* **Geoff:** Oh, yeah. *(runs to the camera)* Hello out there, dudes!
* *(Scene switches back to the Gophers. Izzy auditions by doing her rattlesnake dance. She plays an Egyptian music)*
* **Izzy:** I call this, "The Dance of the Rattlesnake". *(she makes swooshing sounds as a tranced Owen watches)* Look into my eyes, what do you see? *(she makes more random noises. Owen and Trent like this)*
* **Owen:** *(laughs)* She's good.
* *(Scene switches back to the Gophers. Beth auditions by twirling fire sticks, which makes the girls nervous.)*
* **Heather:** Are you sure this is safe?
* **Beth:** It's okay, I've been practicing. *(she does the grand finale by lifting her fire sticks in the air. She fails to catch the sticks, the Gophers and Beth take cover by using the benches as a shield, and the sticks land on ground. The girls stick their head back out)* I kind of missed the catching class. *(the Gophers investigate the hole)*
* **Trent:** Uh, guys, the bush is on fire. *(the bush ablazes)*
* *(In a dramatic entrance, Justin puts out the fire. He throws away the fire distinguisher, Leshawna hands him a bottle of water. He takes off his shirt and waterfalls the bottle. He leaves a tiny drip of water and lands on his steaming chest. The girls and Owen fawn over Justin's hotness.)*
* **Heather:** Okay, so I think it's me, Trent, and Justin. Any objections? *(the Gophers shake their heads)*

## Cody Tries to Talk to Gwen

* *(Gwen is writing on her journal, Cody walks in.)*
* **Cody:** Whatcha got there, uh, journal?
* **Gwen:** Beat it.
* **Cody:** *(sits down)* Oh, I get it, yeah it's private, huh? *(Gwen looks at Cody and continues writing her jounral)* I'm down with that, "it's cool, bruh". *(he snoops in her journal)*
* **Gwen:** What part of "beat it" don't you understand? *(continues journaling. Cody sniffs her hair, she gets grossed out)* What are you, some kind of freak? *(steps away from Cody)*
* **Cody:** Y-you- just smell, really, pretty.
* **Gwen:** It's just, soap. *(scene switches back to her walking to the cabins near Trent playing his guitar, she spots the hole Beth made)* I won't even ask! *(Cody walks behind her as Gwen goes over the hole, he does the same thing)*

## Gwen and Trent Go For a Swim

* *(Trent continues playing his guitar. Lindsay taps Heather and spots Gwen.)*
* **Heather:** Look. *(Cody opens the door for Gwen)* It's the first hookup of the season. *(Gwen gets angered)*
* **Gwen:** Oh yeah, we are going at it big time. I need to swim just to cool off. *(shuts the door and changes into her swimsuit)*
* **Trent:** Gwen, wait up, I'll come with you.
* **Gwen:** Sure. *(realizes she's near Cody, Heather and Lindsay)* I mean, whatever. *(they leave. Lindsay walks but Heather stops her)*
* **Heather:** You, stay here. We've got a diary to find. *(Lindsay looks curious.)*

## Bridgette and the Guys Make a Bet; Bridgette Breaks Courtney's Violin

* *(Scene switches to the Bass practicing on the amphitheater. Courtney is practicing her vioilin)*
* **Geoff:** So, can you really stand on your hands for 20 minutes?
* **Bridgette:** *(hands out a chocolate bar)* Wanna bet I don't?
* **Geoff:** Oh, you're on!
* **Harold:** I'll take that piece of action!
* **DJ:** Yeah, that's like virtually impossible.
* **Bridgette:** Anti up! *(The guys throw in their money on a cartbox)* Okay, 20 minutes, starting now. *(she starts doing her handstand. she walks near Courtney. The guys start laughing. Bridgette gets her leg trapped between the ropes. A string from a support comes loose, untangaling a stage light. The stage light collapses and hits Courtney in the head and breaks her violin)* Oh crap!
* *(Katie and Sadie watch a sad Courtney, with bandages wrapped around her head. Bridgette walks in, feeling gulity.)*
* **Courtney:** *(angry)* You, you killed my violin! *(tears up)*
* **Bridgette:** I didn't mean to. There must be something we can do. *(she grabs her violin and tries to piece it back together, only for it to break even more, leaving Courtney crying)*

## Heather Infiltrates Gwen's Diary

* **Heather:** You stand guard, and remember, if you see Gwen coming, warn me. *(shuts the door)*
* **Lindsay:** Okay. *(she looks around)*

## Cody and Owen Ruin Gwen and Trent's Relaxation

* **Gwen:** *(sighs)* Okay, sometimes I just need to get away from everyone here, you know? I mean, it's like they're all driving me crazy. *(starts to blush)* Well, almost all of them.
* *(Because of Owen's weight, the docks start shaking as he and Cody run, going for a dive)*
* **Owen:** CANNONBAAAALLLL! *(they jump and splash Gwen)*
* **Gwen:** Ugh! I hate this place! *(storms off)*
* **Trent:** Nice going, guys!
* **Owen:** *(blames to Cody)* Yeah, nice going!

## Gwen Arrives

* *(Heather looks for Gwen's diary.)*
* **Heather:** Okay, if I were a secret diary, where would be stashed?
* *(Lindsay braids her hair and sees Gwen.)*
* **Lindsay:** Hey, Gwen. Gwen, it's you! *(yells to warn Heather)* Hi! What are you doing here outside the cabin, Gwen?!
* **Gwen:** Trying to get *into* the cabin.
* **Lindsay:** Oh, you're trying to get into the cabin, that's very interesting. *(Gwen attempts to bust in, but Lindsay makes a quick move)* Wait, stay here, we can get tans together, *(pulls up Gwen's hand)* and you could totally use one. *(Heather sucessfully finds the diary)*
* **Heather:** Yes! She is so dead!
* **Gwen:** Are you gonna move, or do I have to throw you out of my way? *(Heather kicks Gwen's piled stuff)*
* **Lindsay:** You can try, but I have martial arts training. *(Gwen really gets pissed with Lindsay, making the latter nervous)* Okay, you can go in. *(she covers her head, Gwen opens the door)* Look, Gwen's back!
* **Heather:** Hey, Gwen. Did you have a good swim?
* **Gwen:** What is going on here?
* **Heather:** *(yawns)* Nothing, just getting ready before the big show. *(walks)* Are you always so paranoid?
* **Lindsay:** Yeah, really. *(she waves bye to Gwen and leaves, leaving the latter furious.)*

## Heathers Makes Fun of Bridgette's Miskate and Overeating

* *(Scene switches to the chosen constants practicing for their talents. Courtney watches Bridgette eating a bag of chips.)*
* **Bridgette:** Okay, I know I'm not as good as you at violin, but I can do this.
* **Heather:** *(walks up to Bridgette and Courtney)* Bridgette! Too bad about the accident. I guess you're going to get your 15 seconds of fame after all, huh?
* **Bridgette:** *(gets irritated)* What is that supposed to mean?
* **Heather:** Oh nothing, no one would sabotage their own teammate unless they maybe felt threatened.
* **Bridgette:** Hey! Maybe that's how you Gophers operate, but the Killer Bass have more class than that. We're a team.
* **Heather:** Well, I guess you'll go down as a team, too. Oh, and easy on the chips. You don't want to sink that surfboard of yours, do you? *(Bridgette gets offended and throws her bag of chips at Heather. Heather is in the confessional)* What a bunch of losers. It's so easy, it's almost not fun… Almost.

## The Talent Show Starts

* *(The talent show begins.)*
* **Chris:**: It's the TDI Talent Extravaganza! Welcome to the very first Camp Wawanakwa talent contest! Where six campers will showcase their mad skills and try not to humiliate themselves. First up, for the Screaming Gophers is Justin! *(the Gophers cheer and applaud for Justin)*
* **Owen:** Do it, dude! Yeah, woohoo!
* **Lindsay:** Woohoo! Go, Justin, oh yeah!
* *(Justin starts off his talent by dancing and ends it with a torrent of water splashing him, he smiles as he teeth shines bright.)*
* **Owen:** *(in the confessional)* There are two syllables for hot: *Jus* and *tin*. Man, that guy is just so hot I could kiss him! *(pause)* Because he's a good teammate! *(facepalms)* Oh! Why'd I say that?
* **Chris:**: *(claps)* Okay, I don't know what that was, but daaannnnnng, you've got some moves, dude! *(the Chef-O-Meter scores Justin six points, the Gophers cheer and clap for Justin)* First up for the Killer Bass, make some noise for the big guy, DJ! *(the Bass, except for Duncan, cheer on for DJ. DJ starts his ribbon dance and starts off decently, but seconds later, he gets tangled and falls)* Dainty and yet masculine, let's see what grand master Chef thinks. *(Chef scores DJ two points)* Not much. *(DJ walks dissapointedly)* With two down and four acts to go, it's the Screaming Gophers screaming ahead. Next on deck, Trent, take it away my bro.

## Trent's Song

* **Trent:** This one goes out to someone special here at camp. *(he starts singing)*

♪ They say we've only got summer, and I really say that's a bummer ♪

♪ But we'll swim in the sun and have lots of fun, it'll just be the two of us ♪ *(Gwen enjoys the song)*

♪ Nothing to do, but just hang. So let me say only this, and stick around, for just one kiss ♪

* *(The audience claps. Chef scores Trent five points.)*
* **Chris:**: Nice work, I'm liking your style, dude. And so does grand master Chef! *(Trent waves at the audience)* All right, quit hogging my light, buddy. *(pushes Trent out of the stage)* Three down and three to go, and the Killer Bass are totally sucking so far. Let's hear it for Bridgette. *(the audience claps.)*

## Bridgette's Vomiting

* *(Bridgette is nervous.)*
* **Courtney:** Are you sure you can do this?
* **Bridgette:** *(stomach rumbles)* Oh definitely, no I'm great, really.
* *(Courtney is nervous about this. Bridgette starts doing her handstand, she burps, Cody and Owen look at each other confused then smiles. Bridgette continues burping, then pukes, much to the Gophers' shock. She continues vomiting and hits Owen, shocking and digusting Courtney and Heather.)*
* **Owen:** I'm hit! I'm hit!
* *(Bridgette hits Katie, causing her to scream and vomiting on Sadie. She then hits Izzy and Leshawna, she slips on her vomit and loses control and lands on Tyler, angering Lindsay.)*
* **Lindsay:** Hey, puke on your own boyfriend!
* **Heather:** On your what, Lindsay?
* **Lindsay:** *(nervously)* I didn't say boyfriend!

## Commercial Break

* **Chris:**: *(steps over Bridgette's vomit with his nose covered)* Clean up on aisle three, four, five, and six! In the meantime, we'll take a break to hose the joint down.
* *(Commercial break.)*
* **Bridgette:** *(in the confessional, wiping her tears)* Going home won't be so bad. I could always work at the surf shack.

## Heather Goes Too Far by Reading Gwen's Diary

* *(The talent show resumes.)*
* **Chris:**: Welcome back to the TDI Talent Extravaganza! Welcome back. Okay, so in a strange turn of events, Bridgette's junk-blowing fest registered two thumbs up by grand master Chef. But, it's not enough to pull ahead of the Screaming Gophers who hold the lead of Trent's love song. So, without further delay, here she is for the leaders, Heather! *(the audience claps)*
* **Heather:** *(sits down on a chair)* Originally, I was gonna dance for you. But instead, I want to celebrate team spirit *(pulls out Gwen's diary)* with a collaboration. *(smiles at Gwen)*
* **Gwen:** *(shocked)* She wouldn't! *(she gets nervous)*
* **Heather:** With words by Gwen, performance by me, enjoy. *(clears throat, starts reading)* "Okay, so I'm trying to ignore him, but he's just so cute. If they had a custom-ordered guy to be a distraction for me here, it would've been McHottie." *(Lindsay gasps and Cody nods, thinking Gwen wrote the diary about him)* "We just totally connect, he's pretty much the only person I can relate to here and I know it's a cliche, *(Gwen is speechless, Cody looks unsure)* but I love guys who play guitar."
* **Cody:** Wait, I don't play guitar. *(he and Trent stare at each other. Gwen, embarrassed, leaves the theater, making Heather smiling and proud of herself)*
* **Heather:** *(closes the diary)* Thank you.
* **Courtney:** That was so mean.
* **Bridgette:** Seriously.

## Only One More Bass Left To Perform; Harold's Beatboxing

* **Chris:**: Well then, it's down to the final act of the night. Can Geoff and his rad stunts turn it around? I seriously doubt it. Let's find out.
* *(Geoff starts on his skateboard but breaks it in half.)*
* **Geoff:** Woah, that kinda wrecks the ride.
* **Bridgette:** Now what? We have to send someone out there or we're going to lose this!
* **Courtney:** Katie and Sadie are covered in barf!
* **Bridgette:** Well that only leaves Tyler, Duncan, or Harold. We already know Tyler sucks, what can Duncan do again?
* **Courtney:** Carve a picture of his own skull into a tree? *(hopeless)* What are we going to do?! *(they look out and see Harold picking his underwear. The two look at each other and choose Harold to be the last Bass to perform on stage.)* Just go for it, Harold! What have you got to lose?
* **Harold:** *(begins beatboxing)* Aaah! Awesome! Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. GOSH! Awesome! What, what. Huh, uh-uh! What, what. Huh. Booyah!

## The Killer Bass Win Once Again

* *(Pause. Much to their surprise, everyone cheers for Harold.)*
* **Courtney:** Wooo! That was amazing!
* **Chris:**: *(Chef scores Harold 9 points, declaring the Bass the winners once again. Chris claps)* Wicked beatboxing, dude! Check it out. Grand master Chef has declared his winner, even though they held the lead, the Screaming Gophers have been trampled by the Killer Bass!
* **Bridgette:** Harold, you were amazing!
* **Courtney:** You did it! *(the girls run off and hug Harold while Geoff spins his hat in celebration)*
* **Chris:**: And as for the Screaming Gophers, pick your favorite loser and I'll see you at the bonfire.

## Heather Votes Off Justin

* **Heather:** *(in the confessional)* People thought I was mean to Gwen. Whatever, all I needed was four votes against Justin. Lindsay and Beth were easy, Izzy's just crazy, and Owen, piece of cake.
* **Owen:** *(in the confessional, literally holding a piece of cake, laughing)* Piece of cake!
* *(At the campfire ceremony.)*
* **Chris:**: Kudos to you all for an incredible night of entertainment, *(the Gophers have their marshmallows, Gwen blushes at Trent)* music, drama, barfing. There is only one marshmallow left on this plate. *(Heather and Justin are the remaining two)* Justin. You reminded us looks matter a lot. And Heather, you're full of surprises. *(she feels proud of herself)* But reading another chick's diary out loud to the whole world, man, that is whack. No kidding, that's really messed up, dude.
* **Heather:** Oh, please, just give me my marshmallow already!
* **Chris:**: Justin, I think this is personally very wrong. But tonight, hotness just wasn't enough. The last marshmallow goes too... *(pause)* Heather. *(the Gophers are shocked and angered about Justin's elimination and not Heather's)* Time to catch the Boat of Losers, brah. *(Justin walks disappointedly)*
* **Heather:** Later, brah. *(eats her marshmallow. Justin continues walking sadly)*

## Ending: Gwen's Revenge

* **Gwen:** *(in the confessional)* If that evil little cow thinks she's getting away with this, she has another thing coming. *(later at night, she knocks the boys cabin, Harold comes out)* Did you say you brought a red ant farm with you?
* **Harold:** Yes.
* *(Heather begins screaming as she has red ant farm on her body that Gwen dumped in her bed, she trips and continues screaming.)*
* **Gwen:** *(smiles)* Sweet dreams, everyone. *(chuckles. Heather continues screaming again, ending the episode)*

## References

1. ↑ In the censored version, "freak" was changed to "animal". Since 2018, this scene has been uncensored.
2. ↑ In the censored version, Bridgette said "Oh no!"
3. ↑ In the censored version, Chris said "losing".
4. ↑ In the censored version, "sucks" is replaced by "stinks".