2018 Power Rankings-Week 2

## Introduction

The LOC is back in a big way! What an offensive explosion we witnessed this weekend! Last season, the league combined for just 1,849.35, with no team breaking 220 points. This year, six teams broke 220 and all ten combined for a 2197.99 points!

Of course, the focus isn’t on the teams that scored a lot, but two teams that scored the least. The Shotti Bunch defeated Pain Train with a margin of victory of 0.15, one of the smallest ever in the league. This, of course, doesn’t even hold a lit candle to mamma’s 2012 victory over Papa, where the margin of victory was 0.02. But it might hold an unlit candle! PT delivered one of the biggest chokejobs in LOC history, proving once and for all that you cannot win international fantasy games in this league.

With that, another wild year in the League of Champions begins.

## Survivor

Once again, seven of ten teams signed up for our annual survivor challenge. Four teams lost on their week one picks, but it is double elimination so get those week two picks in today! I don’t know who anyone is because no one puts their actual names except Shotti.

## Bust Watch

Let's take a look at how our first round picks performed opening weekend.

Bust Watch: Total Points for First Round Picks
 T.Gurley
 O.Beckham Jr.
 A.Brown
 E.Elliot
 D.Johnson
 D.Cook
 D.Hopkins
 L.Fournette
 L.Bell

Is Fournette really going to fucking do this to me again? Am I really going to have three straight seasons of busted first round picks? I can’t, right?

Paddock 9, who got 0 points from ODB last season, opens with the top first round score.

And Bell scored 9.50 points to open last season, so he’s actually still on pace for his usual 500 points.

Overall, first round pick scoring was up 69.29 points from last year (nice).

## Stat Chat

* GBM becomes the 6th team to reach 50 combined wins.
* RIP becomes the 6th team to reach 50 combined losses.
* Paddock 9 becomes the 2nd team to reach 60 combined losses.
* Ball’s loss gives him a record of 6-10, moving him down to last on the combined W/L list (18th) for the time being. A 7th win will move him back into 17th.
* GBM becomes just the third team to record ten wins vs. another franchise (10-6 vs. RIPDab). The other two teams: Browns4You (10-2) vs. MMMS and Shotti (11-4) vs. RIPDab.
* Browns4You becomes the second team to break 200 points in 70 games.
* Teams that score under 170 points only win 13% of the time. Congrats to the Shotti Bunch for beating the odds.
* Last season, only one team that won on opening day missed playoffs (Sweet Dee). In 2016, a record three winning teams missed the Festival of Champions.
* The Shotti Bunch is now on a five-game win streak against Pain Train.
* GBM joins Momma, Brown, and Shotti as the fourth team to have three 300-point games in their franchise history.

## Power Rankings

This week I thought it would be interesting to see which NFL team’s opening day performance most resembled an LOC team’s week one showing.

### 1 (1). The Shotti Bunch

**Most Similar Week One Performance:** Philadelphia Eagles (18-12) over Atlanta

It wasn’t pretty, but we’re not talking about women here. Wins don’t need to look good (or cook and clean). The knee jerk reaction is to think that Shotti is done after his worst performance since week four of 2014. But we all know better. Last year, GBM scored 166 in their opening game and then broke 230 each of the next three weeks. A week one performance doesn’t maketh a champion...although this team does look like shit.

### 2 (3). Garoppoblow Me

**Most Similar Week One Performance:** Tampa Bay Bucs (48-40) over New Orleans

A team some expected to lie down, GBM instead put up the second highest opening week point total in league history. GBM owns 5 of the top 10 WR/RB scorers in the league through week one. But while we can’t expect Shotti to go sub-170 every week, good times aren’t meant to last for GBM. Injury issues already plague first round pick Leonard Fournette. It’s as if someone did the Men in Black forget everything flash on Commish and wiped out his memory of last season, when Fournette was a persistent nuisance. Oh, and there’s that pesky season-ending injury to Delanie Walker, too.

### 3 (2). WhatCanBrownsDo4You?

**Most Similar Week One Performance:** Kansas City Chiefs (38-28) over Chargers

What can Browns do for ‘BrownsDo4You?’ Landry and Brown combined for 52.70 points in week one. Not a bad WR combo. Just like the Chiefs, B4 (still trying to figure out their abbreviation) put up the third highest point total of the week for a winning team. They faced a team with a decent offense but who couldn’t keep up with the production at QB and WR. The Rodgers situation is worth monitoring, especially with him not practicing this week, and the Kareem Hunt usage is a concern. But overall, this could very well be the true best team in the LOC.

### 4(6). Sweet Dee

**Most Similar Week One Performance:** New York Jets (46-17) over the Lions

Sweet Dee rolled, as is tradition in opening week. I think we all assumed they’d win, which is no offense to Balls it’s just week one is Sweet Dee’s Glory Bowl...sort of like the New York Jets. They always bring it opening week. Still, the Andrew Luck performance on Sunday is a promising sign. In that same game, Mixon may have emerged as the RB1 everyone expected him to be last year (RIP MMMS). Let's see if he can back it up in week two against a defense made up of more than shells of former selves. Don’t look now, but Sweet Dee might have arrived. No, I did not copy and paste that sentence from 2013-2017.

### 5(5). RIPDab

**Most Similar Week One Performance:** New Orleans Saints (40-48) to the Bucs

2017 was such a promising year, and everyone expects Dab to build off that success. But not even 232.90 was enough against the LOC Bucs. RB is a glaring weakness in this system, with Carlos Hyde the lone back who beat projections. It won’t get any easier this week against another strong 0-1 team, Bell of Da Ball. HOWEVAH, Eminem just released a music video today where he dabs on a group of...zombies, I think? I'm not sure what this says for RIPDab but I think it means he's back?

### 6(9).(nice) Bell of Da Ball

**Most Similar Week One Performance:** Indianapolis Colts (23-34) to the Bengals

A loss, but a lot to build off of for Ball. Their return to action, much like Andrew Luck’s, was impressive and promising. But they’re still on the hunt for that first win and still have that Bell headache to contend with. With Lindsay emerging as the RB2 in Denver, dealing lowly RB3 Booker for RB1 Conner is looking like a season-saving trade for BODB.

### 7(8). Ma ma momma said

**Most Similar Week One Performance:** Jacksonville Jaguars (20-15) over the Giants

Classic won the battle, lost the war scenario for momma. Not only is Baldwin week to week, but Olsen is effectively done for the year as the Panthers coaching staff went with the less appealing “month to month” status for the tight end. Similar to GBM, a sure-fire weekly start at TE turned into a streamer position overnight. The flex spots are looking rough, but it’s too early to tell if Crowder, Watkins, and Woods are all busts. One thing is for sure, Hill is a certified fresh WR1 and needs to continue performing as such if momma is going to stay in the race until Baldwin returns.

### 8(4). Papa’s Posse

**Most Similar Week One Performance:** Houston Texans (20-27) to the Patriots

I think we all expected a little more out of Papa this week. He didn’t exactly bomb the way other teams did, but he didn’t light it up, either. A modest 205 points, which is still better than he scored in 10 of his 13 regular season games last year. But still waiting for the flash that we have seen at times from past Papa iterations. The trend is up for PP, with improving talent at every position. QB needs to step it up, if anything. Their game against a reeling momma team this week is a borderline must-win.

### 9(7). Paddock 9

**Most Similar Week One Performance:** Buffalo Bills (3-47) to the Ravens

Oh no…

### 10(10). Pain Train WOO WOO

**Most Similar Week One Performance:** Atlanta Falcons (12-18) to the Eagles

Do something! Anything! That’s what I kept yelling at my TV on Monday night as Chris’s two remaining guys remained stagnant for an entire seven hours of football. A truly astonishing display of mediocrity as they handpick facing the defending champs, have them on the ropes, and then can’t seal the deal. I haven’t been this disappointed in a performance since I listened to my own Podcast.

## The Matchups

### The Undercards

#### Paddock 9 (204.52) vs. The Shotti Bunch (219.46)

* What to Watch: Mahomes will get his first start for P9 in this stinker of a matchup that pits the 10th place terror against the defending champ coming off one of his worst games ever. This was 0.15 points away from being an 0-1 vs. 0-1, but even with the win TSB has something to prove. Good thing his players are all going up against favorable defenses. Freeman, for P9, has not practiced and is questionable.

#### Pain Train WOO WOO (194.00) vs. Garoppoblow Me (232.52)

* What to Watch: Pain Train owns GBM. Even during Pain Train's bad seasons, he rallies to beat the Commish. That will be a tall task this week, as GBM is projected to win by almost 40 points. GBM has opted to start Lindsay just to spite Pain Train, who is starting Royce Freeman. That's the kind of Patriots Way cockiness that makes people hate the top dawgs.

ma ma momma said (219.24) vs. Papa's Posse (218.49)

* What to Watch: You just hate to see this. Two struggling former champs battling it out, one trying to stave off 0-2 and the other hoping to remain above water despite injury. This projection is very close, with momma's projection fluxuating daily based on Yeldon's expected usage against New England. Two great defenses with Philly and LAR highlight two roster's with a ton left to prove.

RIPDab (216.32) vs. Bell of Da Ball (217.45)

* What to Watch: If these two teams weren't 0-1, this would be the undisputed game of the week. An excrutiatingly close projection, but more importantly it's the TradeGate Bowl. A matchup of the two teams responsible for the trade controversy of 2012 that sparked Nate's Even Year Curse and doomed him to a lifetime of fantasy heartbreak. What do the Fantasy Gods have in store for us with this one?

### The Main Event

#### Sweet Dee (221.20) vs. WhatCanBrownsDo4You? (232.05)

* 2018 Wins
	+ Sweet Dee: 1-0
	+ Browns4You: 1-0
* Series Wins
	+ Sweet Dee: 4
	+ Browns4You: 4
* Thursday Players on Roster
	+ Sweet Dee: 1
	+ Browns4You: 1
* Monday Players on Roster
	+ Sweet Dee: 1
	+ Browns4You: 0

Updated through 12/05/17

Tied 4-4 lifetime, this series holds even more weight than usual because both teams are vying for a 2-0 start. Big statement game early as Dee looks to fend off the "she always starts hot" crowd and Browns4You looks to continue his campaign to reassert himself atop the LOC pecking order.

This 2nd vs. 3rd faceoff is the only fight between undefeated teams this week. Browns4You and Sweet Dee have both started 2-0 twice in their careers (B4 in 2011 & 2017, Dee in 2015 & 2016).

Thursday night is a great showdown between Mixon (Dee) and Baltimore Defense (B4). Mixon can put a dent in BAL's point total by balling out like he did against Indy, while B4 can shut down DEE's RB2 if his defense can hold strong in Cincy.

Monday night should hold some drama if B4 has the lead, as Dee has the lone MNF player in Tyler Lockett, the de facto WR1 in Seattle.

This is the only meeting of these two squads in 2018, making this 4-4 tiebreaker game even more important. To the victor go the bragging rights and a tie for first place in the LOC.