Dragonstone 39

**Chapter 39**

Arin says she doesn't plan to steal the peacock; *"the queen shall have to consider it a loan for the greater good."* So she does plan to steal it, then. Yay, hypocrisy! \~/

This causes Egil to laugh even harder, and everyone laughs hysterically for half a page. Okay then.

They eye the wall, guessing it to be about thirty feet tall, and Samurai Chick asks Alos if he can climbe a rope. Egil points out that it won't be easy with a large, screeching bird - peacocks can weigh up to 13 pounds - and Samurai Chick asks whether they need the peacock alive, or if she can just kill it and . . . throw its corpse at the "rede," I guess. Alos suggests stuffing it in the costume trunk, and Arin says they'll simply hood it.

. . . wait. Wait, wait, wait.

These people are actually planning on stealing an *actual peacock?* They think the same "rede" that called Samurai Chick a cat refers to an actual, feather-covered, screeching jungle fowl?

*Has no one in this world ever heard of a riddle before?* Does no one understand how prophecies work? After this are they going to try to find a king with a pet ferret so they can steal it? Didn't the fact that The Cat Who Fell From Grace - the **first thing listed in the "rede"** - was a human woman clue them into the fact that these are *not* literal descriptions?

Clearly, Intelligence is considered a dump stat in Mithgar.

\~/\~/

Our Heroes wander around some more, noting likely escape routes, then return to their room. Egil asks Dolph to get them some rope, "cleverly" deciding to wait until tomorrow to ask for a big sack (to stuff the peacock into) so Dolph won't suspect a thing. A criminal mastermind, our Egil. Later that evening they are called to the great hall, but Dolph says Egil will have to leave his axe and Samurai Chick her swords; they are allowed only small, ornamental daggers. Only Stahl, the queen's champion, is permitted to remain armed in her presence.

After a pointless bit involving Arin's dress, Our Heroes reach the great hall, which is absolutely crammed with people. The throne, however, is empty. There's reference to the various nobles, including dukes, counts, earls, viscounts and barons, but still no mention of jarls. The steward incidates that Our Heroes will be sitting at Baron Stolz's table, then formally announces them.

Um, no. That's not going to happen. They're not nobles or foreign dignitaries; they're *entertainers.* They are here to sing and dance for the amusement of the other guests; the *actual* nobles. None of them have a title, none of them represent anyone important, none of them are famous in their own right, and there is no reason whatsoever for them to be introduced and seated with actual nobility. Historically, entertainers were *not* celebrities; they were considered shiftless vagabonds, thieves, and occasionally prostitutes, to be watched carefully and never trusted.

The should be brought in by the servants entrance ahead of time, so the entertainment is ready when the *actual* nobles arrive, not treated like nobility themselves.

\~/\~/

With that inaccurate nonsense out of the way, Our Heroes mingle with the guests, and Samurai Chick is again called *"golden."* \~/ Egil wants to see if he can find JarlBaronDuke Steiger, so they try that for a while, but are unsuccessful. Before they can go 'round again, trumpets announce the arrival of Queen Gudrun the Comely and her consort, Delon the Virile. There's a long, flowery description of the two of them which doesn't interest me, so I'm going to summarize it. Gudrun is blonde, wears a blue dress, and is at least thirty years older than she was when the statue was carved, while Delon is *"perhaps five feet eight inches,"* also blonde, about thirty, and dressed in a ridiculous lavender outfit with enormous plumes on his hat. He's also wearing a silver collar which is linked by a chain to a bracelet on Gudrun's wrist.

Egil and Samurai Chick are appalled. Everyone sits, and there's some unimportant chatter as the entertainers march in, circle the room, then . . . march back out. That was odd. And I assume McKiernan means the *other* entertainers, not the four who are currently sitting with the nobility for no good reason. Baron Stolz indicates that it's only because Arin is a sparkly elf that they're being so honored, but I don't buy it. If elves were so highly regarded in Mithgar, as they are in Tolkien's Middle-earth, then Arin should have been able to get an audience with the queen on the strength of her race, without having to go through this "entertainers" nonsense. \~/

There's a page of food porn, and then a Nameless Lord proposes a toast to the queen, and she replies *"Nay. Not to me, but to love instead."* They compromise on *"To the queen and love!"*

Next, we get a page-and-a-half description of the antics of the entertainers - the *other* entertainers - which is useless filler. Baron Stolz and some others speculate on where Delon came from, guessing that Gudrun found him in Thol, took him in a raid in West Gelen, or that he's merely a commoner who came to the fortress seeking to take advantage . . . somehow. Baron Stolz says he'll be *"burned like the others,"* but notes that Delon has lasted longer than anyone else.

The feast ends with Delon himself singing for Gudrun's pleasure (her sexual pleasure, it's implied), after which she literally drags him from the room. Arin notes that he sings as well as an elf.

Our Heroes return to their room and go to sleep, except for Samurai Chick, who continues to pretend that meditation offers the same health benefits as sleep. \~/ She is interrupted by the sounds of a woman in extreme pleasure. Looking out the window, she sees Delon on the balcony of the queen's spire, only for him to be dragged back inside and the sounds repeat over and over. Apparently Gudrun has quite the appetite.

And on that unsettling note, the chapter ends.

Drinks: 7

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