Episode 50: The Fervorists

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

Before the time of the pandemic there was sense of wonder and whimsy in the world, but now bad things are happening all the time. What if bad things happened, but they were cool bad things like Alien invasions or Donkey Kong smashing up your street? Would the everyday acts of shocking violence really seem so bad if a Lake Placid Crocodile is rampaging the streets and Bill Pullman is too old as shit to do anything?

## Idea Details

* Idea: The Fervorists
* Creator of idea: Drew
* Purpose of idea: Josiah, all that stuff that that video was saying is happening is really happening. The devil is playing tricks on us, um sorcery, like you said, um necromancy, uh giants - romancing giants. All of these sorts of things have been happening. (Josiah: "And that's no good! I don't think we should be doing that stuff.") Well, there's that. But then you also think about the stuff - the non-supernatural stuff that goes on everyday. You know, there's terrorist attacks, there's bombings, there's shootings, just terrible terrible stuff, Josiah. And one thing as I was watching that video - one thing I realized is that the world is lacking a sense of whimsy. We used to have a sense of whimsy before the pandemic, before 9/11, before World War II. But all those events combined has taken the whimsy out of the world, and I think we need to get the whimsy back. (Josiah: "The - all the whimsy has turned into a whoopsie!") Yeah, whimsy has gone whoopsie, and I think we need to bring it back. Now, people have tried, Josiah. People have tried. \**Josiah and Drew watch a video called "Harry Met Sally Orgasm Scene Prank - Movies In Real Life (Ep 7)" about recreating the famous fake orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally with actors dressed as Harry and Sally and 20 additional couples in Katz's Deli*\* And this is what I wanna bring back to the world, Josiah. (Josiah: "So are you saying we should be training terrorists to do this instead?") No, no, Josiah! Absolutely not! But what I'm saying is that we need to inject a sense of whimsy, a sense of fun into everyday life, and I think we can do that by, like in this *Harry Met Sally* Orgasm Scene Prank Flash Mob, we can have sort of like throu- we can have - (Josiah: "I see terrorists used to throw flash- uh ba- flashbangs, flash grenades, and travel in a mob, but now they'll do a fla- a whimsy flash mob, and all the terrorists will be uh screaming out, 'Yes!' in orgasmic uh joy, is what you're saying.") Well, here's - here's what I'm saying is that I think we should have, just as a way of making life more interesting, there should be setpieces, like in movies, that happen in real life, that happen in, you know, in a big city or you're going through, you're visiting, you're on vacation, all of a sudden a big setpiece happens. Something su- (Josiah: "What do y- so hang - what do you mean? Cause also you're - why would you - wouldn't we want this to happen when you're not on vacation in Ve-? When you're on vacation, there's already so much stimul- stimuli - stimul- stimuli.") OK, you're not on vacation. (Josiah: "So we're gonna be taking [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] and training them to do this stuff?") Well, we could do that, or we have our own sort of setpieces that we set up, and our own sort of um Fervorists created, and maybe - maybe The Fervorists don't just do scenes where it's like - it's like uh *Harry Met Sally* or the giant boombox, like Improv Everywhere did, but full-on action scenes with destruction and mayhem, uh death, of course. (Josiah: "So kind of more of a - more so they kind of piv- they kind of return to their terrorist roots, but we make sure it has a happy ending. And I'm not talking about a 'happy ending' like the *Harry Met Sally* uh just getting your juices all over the eating establishment.") Mhm. It doesn't necessarily even have to have a happy ending. I mean, there's um death and destruction in all movies. For example, *Man of Steel*, Zack Snyder's *Man of Steel*, which came out uh, I think it celebrated its uh 10-year anniversary just the other day, has scenes of mass destruction in the city of Metropolis, and thousands must have been killed in that action setpiece. So I think if we were to have stuff like that happening in real life, then at that point, what do terrorist attacks become but setpieces? And they're no longer - they're no longer transgressive attacks, they're just part of the overall landscape of the world. Do you sorta see where I'm coming from? (Josiah: "So you're saying by creating these moments of, sort of, pure classic Hollywood whimsy that exist in day-to-day life, then that creates a context where everything that happens is kind of this hyper-real uh sort of Marilyn Monroe-esque Hollywood moment, and so therefore there's very little difference between a steam grate in the street blowing someone's skirt up, and then someone actually getting blown up by a fanatic of some kind.")
* Timetable: A timetable was intentionally not given for this idea because it would give away the surprise, but The Fervorists will be happening all around you and you won't even know it's happening.
* Idea details:
	+ The Fervorists are the opposite of terrorists because they create mass fervor with large-scale spectacle events, like those depicted in action movies.
	+ The events performed by The Fervorists have to have stakes so they will cause real-life mass destruction and mass casualties, otherwise the events will simply be seen as cool stories.
	+ The events performed by The Fervorists will be like Kongfrontation except they will be real and will only be one-time events so they are less wasteful with the constant clean-up and maintenance that is required at theme parks. Other events performed will include things like a *Jaws* attack or a *Die Hard* thing where they take over an office building or a giant crocodile will wander around for a while.
	+ The Fervorists will be like a roving gang going city to city and performing their Fervorist actions, but no one will know they're coming so the reactions can be genuine and so people stay on their toes.
	+ Some Fervorists will do things like *Independence Day* with aliens blowing up a building, but some will be doing things like a *Die Hard*-type thing or a *Die Hard 2*-type thing or a *Die Hard 3*-type thing or a *Die Hard 4*-type thing or a *Die Hard 5*-type thing.
	+ These Fervorist actions will make it so the impact of hearing about real terrorist actions like mass shootings or bombings is lessened because they'll just become another thing that happened, alongside things like a recreation of the Disney *Jungle Cruise* ride at a pond in a small city or some people were on a date and they did the *Lady and the Tramp* thing.
	+ It will not be bad if, hypothetically, a nefarious force like Putin manages to turn a juggler working a Disney parade in Red Deer, Alberta, because it would be an incredible story that you would have seen a flamethrowing juggler who was turned by the Russian government to throw fireballs at the citizens of Red Deer. This would add something to people's lives and would be a thrill that they've never had before.
	+ The actors hired to play The Fervorists will have to be down-to-Earth and larger than life, like Jason Momoa. They will be able to do whatever they want as long as it's interesting and the secret does not get out. Jason Momoa will be a hero like Aquaman, or he can play a barbarian or a bartender.
	+ A lot of The Fervorists' actions will be semi-improvised like *Curb Your Enthusiasm* where there's a basic storyline and then the actors kind of improvise around it. Jeff Garlin will be involved with The Fervorists as well.
	+ *Star Wars* might blow up a planet depending on how they wanna jam that one out.

## Devil Play

* Josiah decided not to play devil but brought up his question anyway, which was to ask if it will get confusing between reality and the false reality being created for emergency services and police and ambulances and firefighters and reporters due to the creation of literal fake news. But he posited anyway that, while they might be causing more mayhem than good, the stakes will be so high that people actually will be dying in some of these happenings, and so therefore they're just adding more to the Earth and taking the good with the bad.
	+ Drew clarified that, in a way, they're not adding more, they're just raising the stakes so that the terrible stuff that really happens is gonna seem diminished in importance.
* Josiah asked what will happen if somebody catches wind of The Fervorists' tour itinerary and starts following them around like The Grateful Dead.
	+ Drew responded that they will have to try and work under absolute secrecy and maintain that secrecy using whatever means necessary. So Drew hinted that if Josiah's hypothetical situation ever became a problem, it would not be a problem they would have to deal with for very long.
	+ Josiah understood the implication of what Drew was saying and accepted this response.
* Josiah brought up the topic of budget, with the knowledge that many film studios have moved away from practical effects because of the cost, and highlighted the fact that you can't really do CGI irl.
	+ Drew vowed not to use CGI because it's disrespectful to all the original great makeup artists and people who made fake heads to explode and Stan Winston and his monster department and all the creations for the *Alien* movies and *Predator*. He clarified that he enjoys animation and would love a way to work in a *Roger Rabbit* scenario because that would be interesting, but emphasized that they have to do as much as they can using practical effects so these things are real and down to Earth unlike the *Star Wars* prequels, which he doesn't want on his hands since they weren't well received partially due to the CGI, and Drew doesn't want people to be mad at him and cyberbully him online like they did to George Lucas.
	+ Josiah asked if that's why people keep posting the four-panel *Star Wars* meme where they say, 'You do mean that, right?'.
	+ Drew clarified that this is a meme of Anakin and Padmé.
	+ Josiah asked who that is.
	+ Drew said Padmé Amidala.
	+ Josiah asked who that is.
	+ Drew said she is mother to Luke and Leia, called Josiah a fucking idiot, and expressed frustration that Josiah didn't know that despite working as a journalist in media for years.
	+ Josiah continued that she is talking to the guy from *Little Italy* in the meme he was talking about. He asked Drew if he had ever seen that movie.
	+ Drew responded that he had not because he started watching a movie he thought was *Little Italy* but it was actually just a movie that took place in Italy called *Big Italy*.
	+ Josiah continued describing the meme as being a scene between Hayden and Penme.
	+ Drew corrected him that it is Haden Church and Penn Jillette.
	+ Josiah asked him to explain how the meme works.
	+ Drew, taking the place of Haden Church, says, 'You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Padmé'.
	+ Josiah, taking the place of Penn Jillette, says, 'You've seen a lot of women, right?'.
	+ Drew was correctly silent.
	+ Josiah, taking the place of Penn Jillette again, says, 'I'm not the only woman you've ever seen, right? And that's why I'm the most beautiful, thus rendering your uh ranking meaningless'.
* Josiah asked if The Fervorists are gonna say 'end scene' when they're done.
	+ Drew emphatically stated that of course they would not. Unless maybe they said it extremely quietly.
	+ Josiah went on to say that he understands that response for the viewers' sake but emphasized that if you are in the theatre and you don't say 'end scene' and do some form of curtsy or bow, you're gonna carry that around with you and it's gonna drive you berserk.
* Josiah carried on from his previous point to what was his main devil play, which was to ask what happens if some of The Fervorists become influenced by nefarious forces and turn, to where all of a sudden it's not a game anymore and they start doing some real nasty things to the public during a dance number or singalong.
	+ Drew asked for an example.
	+ Josiah laid out a scenario wherein Putin manages to flip the jugglers in a great Disney parade number that is being performed somewhere like Red Deer, and then that juggler starts throwing his juggle fire at some of the fine citizens of Red Deer, Alberta.
	+ Drew emphasized that's exactly what they want to happen. This would add some adventure, add some whimsy, some fervor, something interesting to happen, and not just that you saw a giant boombox. He pressed that in this scenario, you would have seen a flamethrowing juggler who was turned by the Russian government to throw fireballs at the citizens of Red Deer, and asked if Josiah thought that would add something to his life: a thrill that he's never had before.
	+ Josiah agreed that Drew was absolutely right, and said that they need an element of chaos thrown in.

## Notable Events

* Josiah and Drew were little at the start of this episode.
	+ Note: This is similar to when Josiah and Drew traveled back in time to when they were younger in Episode 33: Back to Basics.
* Josiah and Drew discussed whether they should post some nasty photos of a certain famous popstar on their Patreon page.
	+ Note: This famous popstar is likely previous guest Nate Ruess.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "How to use social media for activism" about how to use Twitter and Facebook for activism, and effectively, not to just post stuff and hope someone sees it.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Making Thumbnails with Paint.net" about how to make thumbnails with Paint.net.
* Josiah and Drew discussed inviting Greta Thunberg on the show in the future.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "I decided to become an SJW" about the Analytical Chick becoming a poop rights activist.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "YouTube Schedule upload [2018]" about Scheduling a Video for Later Publish on YouTube.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about how the devil is creating an optical illusion to lead many down a false trail.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Harry Met Sally Orgasm Scene Prank - Movies In Real Life (Ep 7)" about recreating the famous fake orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally with actors dressed as Harry and Sally and 20 additional couples in Katz's Deli.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The Giant Boombox" about some people who placed a 10-foot tall boombox on Pier 17 in Manhattan and waited for unsuspecting people to plug it in.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Kongfrontation FULL Vintage POV Ride 1996, Universal Studios Florida Theme Park, Orlando, King Kong" about how well before Skull Island Reign of Kong at Universal Orlando, Kongfrontation was a popular attraction featuring the famous character; it was an original, opening day attraction at Universal Studios Florida and closed in 2002, to be replaced by Revenge of the Mummy.
* Josiah and Drew debated whether *Die Hard* is a Christmas movie.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Jason Momoa | Canvas of My Life | Carhartt Handmade Films" about how long before Hollywood got ahold of Jason Momoa and turned him into a savage warlord and our latest superhero, he was just a kid who grew up the son of an artist from a family of builders and hunters from a small town in Iowa, and how, raised by a strong single mother, he craved everything his mom opened his eyes to, from art to music to rock climbing and skateboarding, and how all of this left a deep sense of adventure in his blood.
* Drew revealed he got drafted into the NHL as a power forward but he hurt his toes because they got really cold out one day. In response, Josiah revealed that he had heard Drew likes to hire illicit massage therapists to do 'This Little Piggy Went To Market' with him and that's how Drew actually hurt his foot because piggy went all the way home for the last time. Drew confirmed this was true.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "Globe Hell Warning. Globe Hell. Globe Hell Warning. We're little. We're little now. We're miniature. We're just miniatures. We're just - we're just miniature leftists. It's time to be left. Hello, welcome to Globe Hell Warning, please do your best? Please just take care of each other. Please? Please? Please? Pl- please save the w- please - pl- pl- pl- pl- please save - please - please save the world?"
* "What if we did leftist Bob Marley parodies?"
* "[On the topic of Plato] These days, people - these days, people's uh - people are so childish, their main philosopher that they like is Play-Doh, is what I would say."
* "OK so what's your point, chick?"
* "[On the topic of getting ratio'ed on Twitter] You know how they say Jack needs to do something about the racists on Twitter? I think he needs to do something about the 'rat-' - the 'rat-ists' - the 'ratio-ists' on - the 'rat-ists'."
* "[On the topic of a stone template] Stone Template Pilots."
* "Maybe I'll make this week's uh episode art with Paint.net instead of Photoshop."
* "[On the topic of shitting in front of children in the street] I'll join you! I'll do that! If it's part of the c- if it's for the cause, I would shit in the street, if it was for the cause!"
* "[On the topic of Analytical Chick being conservative] Well, I mean conser- who - who among us shouldn't be a conservative? Conserve energy, resources, environment, globe."
* "Honestly, this morning I woke up, I said to myself, 'I would love just one day off from the atrocities and the uh this just endless barrage of the news and the ads, the adv- the commercials, the shopping network, the uh, you know, the TV guide ne- all the shit is just always just happening, all this barra- this endless stream of content! The fax machine is whirring, my phone is ringin off the hook with telemarketers, there's people knockin at the door, trying to sign me up, Jehovah's Witnesses. I mean, it's just endless, the *stream*!' And I was hoping to just take a day off, but you know what? The - the - the turn of the Earth and the churn of the news never ends, so Drew, I'm gonna steel myself, I'm gonna die a little more inside, and I'm ready to face what's coming to me. What do you got?"
* "This is fine. Imagine it was the 'This is fine' dog saying 'This is fine,' but it's just wom- uh he's surrounded by women screaming with uh pleasure."
* "The - all the whimsy has turned into a whoopsie!"
* "[In response to Drew asking if it's bad to have an orgasm in public] Well, shitting in public is apparently fine with S- SJW - the uh de Blasio."
* "So are you saying we should be training terrorists to do this instead?"
* "I see terrorists used to throw flash- uh ba- flashbangs, flash grenades, and travel in a mob, but now they'll do a fla- a whimsy flash mob, and all the terrorists will be uh screaming out, 'Yes!' in orgasmic uh joy, is what you're saying."
* "[On the topic of a giant power plug] That's very dangerous. What if a child put a giant fork in there? The whole city would be wiped out."
* "[On the topic of people dancing in public] And you're saying these people will be terrorists doing this?"
* "It would be cooler if all of the women in the group were feigning that they were busting an ovary open as they squealed in -"
* "I think the ovary is a nut of its o- of a ki- a kind of nut."
* "So we're gonna be taking [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] and training them to do this stuff?"
* "So you're saying by creating these moments of, sort of, pure classic Hollywood whimsy that exist in day-to-day life, then that creates a context where everything that happens is kind of this hyper-real uh sort of Marilyn Monroe-esque Hollywood moment, and so therefore there's very little difference between a steam grate in the street blowing someone's skirt up, and then someone actually getting blown up by a fanatic of some kind."
* "[In response to Drew's question about whether he say *King Kong vs. Godzilla*] No. Sorry, I only watch art films."
* "[On the topic of King Kong attacking a woman] This is y'all's fave? And he's attacking a woman?"
* "[On the topic of King Kong] What is he, is that a - is he a Godzilla? You said he's a Godzilla, right? Oh, G- a Gor- a Gorzil- is he a Gorzilla? Gorzilla? Gorzilla?"
* "[On the topic of The Fervorists performing a *Die Hard*-style takeover of an office building at some point] Well, that would have to happen, I think, at Christmastime - and real heads will know what I mean when I say that."
* "So we would say, like, 'Oh, did you hear there was another mass shooting in America, that's terrible,' and then someone would say, 'Yeah, but also somebody did uh - they recreated the Disney *Jungle Cruise* ride uh at a pond in a small city.'"
* "So I guess that, I mean, that's what I was gonna - I was gonna play devil, I don't know if I even need to now, but I was gonna play devil and just ask you kind of: won't it get confusing between reality and whatever false reality this is we're creating? Won't it cause issues with, say, emergency services, or uh police, uh ambulances, firefighters, or just even reporting the news, you know, the - I mean, we're literally creating fake news. I'm curious if that's gonna cause more mayhem than good, but what you're saying is the stakes will be so high that people actually will be dying in some of these uh - in some of these happenings, and so therefore we're just kind of adding more to the Earth and taking the good with the bad?"
* "[On the topic of Jason Momoa] He's in that movie, *The Shape*? About the fish - fucking the fish?"
* "[On the topic of Jason Momoa] The idea's perf- I'm just trying to understand where are you gonna find somebody - he is kinda the perfect specimen. He's *so* incredibly down-to-Earth, and yet he's also just *exploding* with fervor at every turn. He can play a fish-man, he can play a fuckable fish-man, he's always playing a fish-man, it seems. Where are we gonna find more - more Mo- where are we gonna find Mo- more Mo- more Momoa. Where are we gonna get mo Momoa from this? M- mo- m-"
* "I was thinking, uh you know, you're right we don't need a catchphrase, but I think for this episode, we've given up on trying to improve the world, and it's time to 'improv' the world."

### Drew

* "Ehhh. We're doing a small episode, we're doing - just - we're just little boys. Little shrunken boys. Everybody do your best this week. We love you. We're so s- pwease? Pwetty pweease? Pwetty pweeeeeeeeeease? Pwetty pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? Pwetty pweeeeeeeeeeeease?"
* "[On the topic of 'New York City proper'] I live in New York City improper."
* "Debra Messing's ties to communism."
* "[On the topic of the legality of public defecation] Well why shouldn't you be allowed to shit if you need to?"
* "[On the topic of Analytical Chick wanting to poop in front of children] Why does she want to - well, I don't think she should be doing this... Analytical Chick, I don't know about this..."
* "[On the topic of Analytical Chick's politics] Seemed like it was - she was kind of uh a conservative. Must have been in your YouTube recommendations."
* "Josiah, I sleep standing up inside of my kitchen. Just feels right."
* "Necromancer: that's what you are, Josiah, you have sex with dead people!"
* "Josiah, all that stuff that that video was saying is happening is really happening. The devil is playing tricks on us, um sorcery, like you said, um necromancy, uh giants - romancing giants. All of these sorts of things have been happening."
* "But then you also think about the stuff - the non-supernatural stuff that goes on everyday. You know, there's terrorist attacks, there's bombings, there's shootings, just terrible terrible stuff, Josiah. And one thing as I was watching that video - one thing I realized is that the world is lacking a sense of whimsy. We used to have a sense of whimsy before the pandemic, before 9/11, before World War II. But all those events combined has taken the whimsy out of the world, and I think we need to get the whimsy back."
* "This is fine."
* "Well, yeah, I don't know, is it bad to have an orgasm in public?"
* "[On the topic of the legality of shitting vs having an orgasm in public] OK well it's different. One is a brown mess."
* "Well the kid would be wiped out. They'd be blown away. Splattered. That much electricity runnin through a kid? They'd be vaporized."
* "[In response to Josiah saying it would be cooler if the women in the video they were watching were feigning busting an ovary open] Come on. That's disgusting. That's not how it works, Josiah. The ovary doesn't shoot out sperm. The ovary doesn't nut."
* "Well, right, we could do something like Kong- Kongfrontation, Josiah, are you familiar with Kongfrontation?"
* "'Kong' - that's K-O-eng - K-O-eng - K-O-N-G - K-O-eng-frontation, like *King Kong*. Do you know - you - did you see *King Kong vs. Godzilla*?"
* "[On the topic of movies with subtitles] But interesting things don't happen in those movies."
* "[On the topic of Kongfrontation] So imagine you're on the Calgary CTrain, and then you see - you see power poles starting to get knocked over. Destruction, mass destruction, mass destruction, massive death, massive casualties."
* "[On the topic of whether The Fervorists' murderous actions will be fake] Well, it'll be - I mean there has to be - there has to be real stakes to it, Josiah, or it's just gonna be something interesting that happened: 'Oh, cool story. Cool story. Oh, I saw these guys cu- they all started to have a fake orgasm!'."
* "*Die Hard* is not a Christmas movie, Josiah. It's just an action movie that happens to take place at Christmas, and that just has a bunch of Christmas stuff in it."
* "Anakin and Padmé. Padmé Amidala. Mother to Luke and Leia, you fucking idiot. You worked as a journalist for how many years? You worked in media?"
* "[In response to Josiah's question about what they do if Putin manages to turn a juggler who is doing a Disney parade number, making him start throwing his juggle fire at some of the fine citizens of Red Deer, Alberta] That is exactly what we want to happen, Josiah. Add some adventure, add some whimsy, some fervor, something interesting to happen. Not just you saw a giant boombox. You saw a flamethrowing juggler who was turned by the Russian government to throw fireballs at the citizens of Red Deer. You don't think that would add something to your life? A thrill that you've never had before?"
* "The Kongfrontation will be real. And Kong takes no prisoners."
* "[On the topic of the original title of the Jason Momoa film *The Shape*] It was called *Fishfuck*. It was called *Fishfuckers*."
* "[On the topic of whether The Fervorists will actually make the world a better place] Yeah, but look at the big picture, Josiah. Look at the big picture. When people are getting injured, getting eaten by Lake Placid alligator or crocodile, you're not gonna be thinking about the terrible terrible things going on in the world, because there's even more terrible things happening. Imagine *Star Wars* blew up a planet."

## Trivia

* This is the first episode with the word 'The' as the first word of the episode title since Episode 45: The Gig Economy.
* This is the second episode to involve turning fictional movie plots into reality, after Episode 44: The Marxist 007.