recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Forsen

**Forsen** was not only the coiner of the "Never Lucky" catchphrase, but also one of the least pleasant, most prominent saltlords in the pro player scene. When he wasn't busy getting wasted and blasting horrible music, he sort of played Hearthstone.

Most of the stream consists of salty sulking, and the memorability of most of his games is in such a way nonexistent that he never even made it to Trolden. It was, however, quite hilarious to see him butt heads with other pro manchildren over extended usage of emotes.

With less funny salt levels, worse music and overall higher USI, Forsen was basically the poor man's Kripp. His true purpose, in the end, was quitting Hearthstone after it peaked, and becoming yet another warning about the Hearthstone downfall.
Discover

**Discover,** also known as **the mechanic with an expiration date** ~~is~~ was Hearthstone's most beloved mechanic before Blizzard inevitably turned it into cancer. Often associated with skill, control and other such unwarranted self-importance, discover quickly descended from a balanced, respectable and impressive new mechanic to a washed-out, unwanted and underwhelming shitshow.

## Mechanics

Discover lets you pick one of three cards that meet the same criteria, and add it to your hand. While at first the discoveries were meant to be one-time things, soon enough discover cards were able to discover themselves, leading to infinite loops of endless value.

While some would say it requires skill to pick the single playable card that pops up in your screen, most already know better now that discover is more than 1 year old, and yet another HS-related myth has been busted.

## Enough is enough

Blizzard, aware that discover, while flawed, is still the least shitty thing they've ever made, decided to pull a sneaky on the community. What they did was nerf discover into a keyword that is worthy of filler card status.

"How could they do that?" you might ask, given the obscene amount of value discover generates, You see, Blizzard didn't actually *nerf* the problematic, bullshitty discover cards themselves. Instead, they just settled for nuking the whole mechanic, by making it as likely to give you class cards as neutral ones. And if there's one thing neutral cards are teeming with, it's underwhelming filler shit.

In short, if you play Stonehill Defender now, instead of getting to choose between Tirion Fordring, Sunkeeper Tarim and Pompous Thespian, you get three cards that make the Pompous Thespian look good in comparison. Better yet, Blizzard now gets another reason to create filler cards! And all without needing to give anyone refunds! Just what we needed!
Dust

Whenever you want to get your hands on a card that doesn't absolutely suck, Blizzard expects you to ~~drop fucktons of cash on this game~~ spend **dust**. Dust is obtained when you sacrifice shit in your collection to the RNG god. It takes roughly 5 months of grinding for a F2P to have enough dust for a legendary.

## Ratios

As with everything Blizzard, dust ratios are a huge scam. More often than not, you will be turning a card into a quarter of a card. If it is a common, it will instead be reduced to an eighth.

 Rare
 Epic
 Legendary

## 40 Dust

Better known as packs, this common expression within the HS community refers to the inescapable fate that is paying 100 gold to get 4 common cards and a rare one, which is the guaranteed worst case scenario that coincidentally is the most frequent situation. ~~20+5+5+5+5=40~~ Doesn't matter since the HS community doesn't know how to count.

## Golden cards

As if spending cash to play the damn game isn't enough, players whose parents still have somehow a bank account can up the ante by doubling their wasted cash to get all the worthless digital "goods" in a prettier way. While the ratio makes next to no sense, here it is:

 Golden Rare
 Golden Epic
 Golden Legendary

In short, if you want to get robbed, pursue an all-golden collection.

## Dusting your Wild cards

*See the main article on this topic: Dusting your Wild cards*

A common trend among desperate F2Players is to give Blizzard back the digital nothingness they paid too much gold for, but at a much lesser value. If the previous statement still leaves you with doubts about whether or not doing this is in your best interests, you might want to check this page and, perhaps, this one too.
Emotes

**Emotes** are Hearthstone's flawed, primitive way to talk to the cunts you're matched against every game. Much like Hearthstone's other main features, the game would be better if they didn't exist. On average, it takes a player 5 minutes of ~~torment~~ gameplay to squelch their opponents as soon as their matches start.This usually causes them to rage quit.

## Etiquette

Everyone thinks differently about emotes and their reason to exist. Some say it is rude to not respond to greetings, or to thank opponents for whatever reason. In reality, the only mistake one can make is truly not squelching the enemy on curve, since any and all kinds of interaction with the subhuman scum that plays Hearthstone is certainly detrimental to your health. Streamers, however, tend to ignore emotes to act grown up before their audience.

## Translation

Roughly, an emote's purposes are easy to figure out even by the simplest life forms.

* Greetings = Fuck you, I won.
* Well Played = Fuck you, I won.
* Thanks = Fuck you, I won.
* Wow = My RNG just fucked you.
* Oops = Fuck! I fucked up!
* Threaten = Fuck you for having better RNG.

## Emotes people actually want

Of course, Blizzard is already aware of this request by a vast majority of the community, which is precisely why they will never fulfill it. Hearthstun delivers a few of the many quotes that define HStoners and their attitude towards life and others.

* Yawn - Everything you did was predictable and/or boring. Good to use against ropers.
* Sorry, I was AFK - A lame emote created by fanboys who foolish think anyone is actually a decent person in this game.
* You got lucky - Just to stop any faggot from getting a dosage of unwarranted self-importance.
* This is why you should play Wild/Eternal - It will be an improvement regardless.
* You messed up - When your opponent doesn't realize what a shit player he is.
* I'm a girl gamer - Get your attention, ladies and gentlemen! Step right up!
* Outplayed - A troll button. It should send messages like "I suck my girlfriend's lover's dick every day!", while the cunt who sends it has no clue about it.
Cancer Card Dump

**Cancer Card Dumps** happen when the interesting cards from an expansion have already been revealed, and the only ones left are either filler or unspeakably overpowered, and always boring regardless. Since players are going to have to endure three months of most of these cards in the upcoming shitfest of a meta, Blizzard knows it best to let them learn about their existence last.

## Cards to expect in dumps

* Flamewreathed Faceless
* Fungalmancer
* Small-Time Buccaneer
* Shit-tier epic cards
* Trash
* Every single shitstain murloc synergy card
* Filler legendaries
* Underwhelming art
* Forced Archetypes
Bots

**Bots** are machines acting like retarded humans to boost some loser's gold and rank while exploiting a cheap deck that can be brainlessly piloted to Legend. Bots are obviously a very serious concern of Blizzard because they don't only prove that skill is a myth in HS, but they also devalue the otherwise impressive achievement that is reaching Legend.

Most of the time, it is Saltlords who exploit AI slaves to get ahead in Hearthstone, not only because the Free2Play economic system is ass, but also because climbing the ladder is about as enjoyable as gouging your own eyes out. If you instead let a cold, dumb machine do it, you will be immune to cancer, salt and AIDS and you will still get the Legend cardback, as well as 700 gold a week! In short, if you use bots, you are the cool outlaw we all wish we were.

However, all outlaws meet their end. This means your account, on which you may have spent dozens of bucks before resorting to bots, will get banned as soon as Blizzard finds out you've been stealing their cash and cheating the system. This will mean that you will have to ~~quit Hearthstone~~ start all over again and dump more money.

## Things bots can do nowadays

* Emote in response to other emotes (this might let them pretend they're human a bit longer)
* Greet people at the start of the game (which most people don't do, so this is actually ill-advised)
* Rope people playing Cubelock
* Play cards in piss-poor sequencing (they might still win if the aggro deck is so mindnumbingly rewarding even tardbot247 manages to get a positive winrate)
* Hover over cards to pretend a retarded human is behind the screen instead of a retarded bot
* Mulligan for the deck's broken 1-drops (that's right, Zoo apologists, even a bot can do it)
* Concede if the enemy is still alive after a certain turn (just like the children who play aggro!)
* Grind to 100 gold every day (It won't be suspicious if your loser ass already did this before botting)
* Reach Legend (although, let's face it, every single lifeform on Earth can do that)
* Concede automatically against an unfavorable class (like a raging baby would!)

It is only a matter of time before they develop a stench of smegma and intricate self-loathing. These bots are already too close to a human HStoner and they will replace the community if we are not careful.

## Things bots can't ever do

* Play properly
* Play control
* Play combo
* Play midrange
* Play mill
* Play against mill (they will still win, but only because mill always loses to aggro)
* Post in the Salt Thread
* Respond to Rage Friend Requests
* Play aggro (though, luckily, you don't need to play well to win with aggro)
* Tech their decks against the meta
* Kill themselves after being raped by RNJesus
* Join Hearthstun
* Trade minions
* Send Blizzard a request to unban your ass
Miracle Rogue

**Miracle Rogue** is the hardest fucking deck you will ever play! (srs) It requires so many decisions and brain cell burning that only the non-inbred half of the HS community is able to even look at the deck without turning blind. If you pull off a single victory with Miracle Rogue, the world will reward you for extraordinary valor with both an instant dick-enlargement and an invitation to an orgy at the top of mount Vesuvius.

That is the rogue player description of the deck. For the truth, read the following:

**Miracle Rogue** is just another combo deck whose players are both entitled and delusional. It involves drawing fucktons of cards and killing off your opponent as soon as you have all the tools in your hand to do so.

In reality, Miracle Rogue is such a vague term these days that people can just call any rogue deck such a thing. As long as it draws tons of cards and has a BS win, it is Miracle Rogue.
Elusive

**Elusive** is a filler, nonexistent keyword that gets plastered on Basic vanilla minions to let Blizzard pretend they are new, innovative hot stuff instead of inexcusable garbage that should never be printed in any expansion. Whenever you find the text *"Can't be targeted by spells or hero powers."* you already know the developers probably designed this while they were on their bathroom break, and it shows.

## The Engoodening

Blizzard, eventually, decided that just slapping that stupid text on random curve minions would never fucking work, and finally took it upon themselves to Make Elusive Cancer ~~Again~~ For Once. Unfortunately, we only got 1.5 cards during this spree, and one of them is only for druid, and then they forgot it existed, as did everyone else in the community. Maybe in about two years, when they remember the keyword again, we will get to see it on new stuff once more.
Hero power

**Hero Powers** were, once, handy ways for people with shit starting hands to still feel like they are doing something while their opponent raped them with early minions. This concept has evolved a lot during HS's history, and now it might no longer be just a waste of 2 mana.

Now, as we moved forward in time, we gained new ways to, once again, ruin things that did not have to be ruined. Currently, hero powers can get so fucking hideously broken they might as well be treated as win conditions on their own. They can:

* Trigger Inspire minions (which were still mostly a failure)
* Be discovered
* Be stolen
* Be upgraded
* Be disabled
* Win the game with infinite value
* Become passives
* Be discounted for the rest of the game
Bullshit

Whenever someone outright lies to you, and most people around can tell it is a lie, you've just been a target of **bullshit or bullshitting**. Bullshitting is a common tactic employed by Blizzard, fanboys, and players who don't want their braindead decks to get rightfully nerfed.

Symptoms of bullshit include pulling charts and stats out of your ass (while dismissing others!), pointing out the word "cancer" is offensive and stating snarky replies instead of actually proving whatever it is you want to prove. Fanboys sometimes employ all three of these at once.

## Common cases

* "This meta is incredibly diverse."

* "We like OTK decks." - Blizzard, before gutting some OTK deck

* "You just need to learn to counter my top-tier deck."

* Anything that even remotely suggests there is any difficulty to aggro.

* Any mention of skill in Hearthstone
* Dismissing nerf requests of problematic cards as salt.
* "Nerfs are a slippery slope and they restrain the meta" (pleasepleaseplease do not nerf Big Priest, Blizzard, it's the only deck I can play)
* "Git gud" (bonus points if they are defending a mongoloid-friendly deck that anyone can play)
* "Arena is not just tempo snowballing! There are many other elements that decide the winner!"

## How to deal with bullshitting

* Obviously, first you find evidence they are wrong. In these cases, silence is just as good of a victory as continued bullshitting on their side
* Link them to this page
* "Way to derail the discussion. Now answer my question."
* "We're all very impressed with your ability to build and tear down straw men."
* "He posted the salt link, so it must count as an argument."
* If they keep arguing after this, ask them if they are seriously buying what they are saying. If the answer is yes, you're wasting your time
Buffs

During the Hearthstone Renaissance, Blizzard had the groundbreaking idea to intervene instead of letting players die in another content drought. Given the relatively balanced state of the game, they didn't nerf anything. Instead, they backpedaled on their no buffs policy. As anyone with a basic grasp of English can guess (which is about 20% of Hearthstoners), this meant they **buffed** some cards.

For the most part, buffs were pretty fucking great. Shitty cards got less shitty, and most of them saw some play. Unfortunately for us, Blizzard overdid it by letting loose a few cancers too many.

## Mistake List

While for the most part, the buffs did little more than increase certain archetypes' play rate for a few days, some of them really fucked things up.

### Luna's Pocket Galaxy

You know how Mage players are all cunts with no loyalty to anything except win-rate? Well, that became more than evident when Luna's Pocket Galaxy was booped down to cost 5 mana instead of 7. Almost immediately they started exploiting giants and large minions to ruin games as soon as turn 6, so much Blizzard had to beat the card back up to 7 mana in a short period of time. Nowadays, Luna's Pocket Galaxy is dead once again, much to the butthurt dismay of several assholes who should have been banned just to finalize the cleansing of the game.

### Extra Arms

A twinspell +2/+2 buff for 2 mana really sounded harmless. Except it was for Priest. Nothing good should ever go to that class. So Blizzard did the right thing and reverted that bitch to 3 mana, and now it sits at 0% play-rate, right where it belongs.

### Pogo-Hopper

The promised nerf that never came. Currently, Pogo-Hopper still costs 1 mana and Rogue is allowed to cancer it up with unlimited Jade-like mechs that never should have even been designed. Most people saw this as a mistake from the get-go, but Blizzard is always stubborn with these sort of forced archetypes. We can only hope Descent of Dragons's Flik Skyshiv finally wrecks this abomination like it deserves.
Neutral

**Neutral cards** are pseudo-class cards that everyone can use. As such, they usually are treated with the utmost, balanced care by Blizzard. In reality, this means they are either nothing but filler trash to inflate upcoming expansions, or uber broken heaps of stats that everyone will run, thus turning the meta into a boring shitstorm of predictable tempo plays.

## Notable Neutral Cards

* Dr. Boom
* N'Zoth
* Bonemare
* Worgen Greaser
* Fungalmancer
* Yogg-Saron, Hope's End
* Saronite Chain Gang
* Most murlocs
* Magma Rager
Adventure

Long ago, Blizzard had a cheaper way to introduce new cards to Hearthstone. Archives speak of these ways as **adventures**. Based on WoW raids, players would fight bosses with fitting decks and earn the thematic cards upon slaying them. This was ~~quite~~ more accessible for F2Players, since everyone would get all the cards for the same price, which of course is a big no-no for Blizzard.

Unfortunately, Blizzard quickly learned the error of their ways, and completely removed adventures in favor of a capitalist, expensive model of 3 expansions per year, giving the playerbase no breathing room where they wouldn't be coughing up money.

## History

HS's first adventure was the Curse of Naxxramas, which was surprisingly hailed as a great addition. Despite this, Blizzard's next move was still an expansion, which was hailed as a huge mistake. Failing to see the pattern, Blizzard kept up this rhythm, until deciding, in 2017, that they needed more money for cocaine (which was used to design KnC) and so they booted adventures for good.

## Adventures today

Blizzard, as a counter-measure to the inevitable shitstorm that removing the adventures would be, decided to still create the challenges and give them away for free. However, unsurprisingly, there is a catch: Instead of getting a guaranteed legendary after every wing, everyone gets a pack, which can either give you a kickass golden legendary or the card equivalents to fucking nothing.
Armor

**Armor** is an uncounterable mechanic that was stolen from Warrior to go to Druid, which does it a lot better than the first ever managed. Unlike any other resource, armor can go infinite, which means it is usually much better than healing. Every Death Knight gives 5 armor. Blizzard will probably never release a tech card against armor because "dAMaGe cOUntERS aRmOr lOLz".
Poisonous

**Poisonous** is boring and underwhelming. Unless you are playing against a hunter Death Knight, or got an unlucky adapt, there is no reason for you to even care about it.

Basically, if a poisonous minion damages another one, the second minion dies instantly. If a Wild Pyromancer gains poisonous and then damages the whole board, everyone dies.

Poisonous also used to be associated with the rogue class, before so many shitty beasts decided to hijack the mechanic. Now, it goes to hunter because the new beasts infect Deathstalker Rexxar's hero power.
Fun

**Fun** is an elusive, mysterious concept that a gambling addiction to Hearthstone is often mistaken as. Everyone claims what they do is either fun, or with the goal of fun in mind, similarly to how everyone from Hitler to Gandhi believed their own ideas to be morally righteous and not fucking cancerous for most of humanity. In truth, what you are doing in HS is probably not fun. It is, in fact, absolutely draining for you to play this damn game some days, and during those, even achieving your goal won't give you the slightest bit of joy because of the sourness shit RNG and emoting, roping cunts have left in your mouth.

## Fun and You

Depending on who you are, different aspects of Hearthstone might make you "have fun".

* Johnnies claim to have fun by pulling off janky win-conditions and making whacky decks work. Since they have to lose 40 games to win one, however, it is safe to say they won't even have fun by the time they achieve their goal.
* Spikes claim to have fun by **WINNING AT ALL COSTS** through their own blood, sweat and skill. The fact that they treat HS like srs business should be enough of a giveaway that they are underachievers in all other aspects of their own lives. No matter how many times they grind to Legend, they won't have fun cause their lives are shit behind the screen.
* Timmies claim to have fun by putting big minions on the board, even with a shit winrate. This proved to be a lie because the aggro metas of the past have effectively extinguished all Timmies in the community and they moved on to greener pastures.
* Kripp never has fun, and makes it a point of declaring so whenever his opponents play anything against him. This is partially due to him playing mostly arena, and partially due to him being made of literal salt.
	+ Many people, however, have fun watching Kripp complain about his crappy arena runs.
* Blizzard has fun reading the Salt Thread and watching fanboys being impaled in flamewars in their name.
* Netdeckers claim to have fun by playing the same deck every single time from the moment an expansion launches. Unless they are severely autistic (a likely probability), and thus telling the truth, chances are their lives are not dissimilar from the Spikes above, and their fun is, alas, also bullshit.
* Saltlords are physically incapable of having fun.
* Fanboys are mentally incapable of recognizing/admitting they are not having fun.

## Things that are fun

* Choking out an aggro deck with one specifically built to crush them
* Collecting RFRs
* Opening packs (until you run out of them and realize how worthless the cards you got are, at least)
* Reading QQ threads on Hearthpwn after a cancerous card gets nerfed
* Bringing up Blitzchung to fanboys and reminding everyone of the whole China kowtow incident
* Using Dirty Rat to fuck with OP battlecry cards
* Roping netdeckers while watching porn
* Reading Hearthstun Wiki
* Thinking and theorizing about the first day of the next expansion (not actually playing it, though, because of netdecking, see above)
Dragons

Tribes are cancer, that much is beyond dispute. But what if I told you Blizzard wanted to give Controltards a chance to be cancerous with tribes too? With murlocs and mechs already offering the undesirable portion of the playerbase plenty of cancerous firepower, it was time to even the odds a bit, and thus, **dragons** were born as a tribe.

## Theme & Strategy

In most works of fiction, dragons are portrayed as either noble, intelligent, or feral giant reptillians of great power, often associated with an element of sorts. Blizzard, however, decided to completely ignore all of this and instead make all dragons efficient only when they are in their owners' hands. That's it. Everything else is whatever Brode feels like putting in at the last second.

What at first was a completely disappointing strategy slowly evolved into an uncounterable circus of unbalanced tempo cheaters as Blizzard jizzed out more and more of these reptillian freaks for paladins, priests and warriors to exploit.

## Counterplay

Like every single innocuous mechanic that Blizzard accidentally turns into cancer, it was not long until we got the cheapest alternative to a nerf possible, in the shape of a tech card. However, ~~since dragons are huge, and destroying them is a huge tempo swing balance-wise~~ to avoid being called out on their laziness, they could not give us yet another crab. Instead, we were given an ugly boy-girl Scottish dwarf that deals 6 damage.

## See also

* Blackrock Mountain
* Brian Kibler
* Priest
* Year of the Dragon
Legends of Runeterra

**Legends of Runeterra** is yet another attempt of Riot Games (the creators of the masterpiece known as League of Legends and its much better auto-chess version TFT) to become more like Blizzard. It is a card game set in, get this, Runeterra, where you play with champions from the main game in a way that actually might not give you cancer, depending on how much they choose to limit your interactions with the enemy players.

In 2020, Riot intends to let more players in, many of whom are HStoners. Given Out of Cards's enthusiasm for it, chances are it will become a mainstay, especially since Riot *really* needs to focus on something other than LoL.

Given LoL's lore has always been an underappreciated part of the game, it is always nice to see Riot expanding on it as far as gameplay goes. Noticeably, MOBAs are terrible for this sort of thing, so a TCG might just be what they need to finally get nerds instead of normies in their fanbase, people who might actually become invested in their universe.
Legend

**Legend** is the maximum rank reachable in Hearthstone. It often takes hours, getting three types of cancer, and throwing up once every two games, all for a rank that disappears at the end of the month.

Players who reach Legend are known to act like pretentious twats, all while never knowing how to play the game properly. Reminding them that it takes no skill makes them so butthurt it is hilarious, bonus points if they make a thread about it where they whine like little bitches. Most are at least smart enough to never do it again and spend their time on something productive, but there are still autists that systematically climb, either because getting Legend makes up for their unloved childhoods or just because they are assbleeding masochists.

It should also be noted that there are retarded bots that take you to Legend, further proving this climb is utterly thoughtless.

However, if you feel like a POS with too much money, you can actually pay someone to do your climbing.

## Rewards

There is little reason to go anywhere further than rank 5, as far as rewards go, but in case you do, here's what you get:

* A card back that will let everyone know you are shit at the game
* Bragging rights in Hearthpwn to feign superiority
* ~~A place in tournaments~~ no way in hell this matters to the average HS turd. Also only for Standard Legend. Wild Legend ain't shit.
* Unwarranted Self-Importance
* "Free" random cards, from a random set, with guaranteed rarities (nevermind the fact 99% of the time epics are hot trash, to say nothing of legendaries), in amounts vastly lower than you could have gotten if you simply took overtime and paid for some packs each month.
* And... uh... that's it. Holy fuck, people actually do this every month without being paid for it?!

## What it means

If the crappy rewards haven't convinced you to do the climb, then perhaps the meaning of reaching legend will!

* You have a lot more time on your hands than you should
* You are mildly autistic and don't mind doing the same thing 100 times
* You *might* be 0.1% more skilled than the average HS simpleton
* You get to freely defend a broken deck since a Legend's insight is worth more

## See also

* Control - A deck whose players are almost as insufferably delusional
* Skill - A myth most Legend players believe in
* Unwarranted Self-Importance - The disease you'll develop after getting there
* Aggro - Proof you need no skill to reach Legend
Aviana + Kun

**THIS ARCHETYPE IS ANCIENT HISTORY. YOU CAN HELP BY TURNING ALL ITS CARDS TO DUST TO LOWER ITS PLAYRATE TO 0%!**

**Aviana and Kun** were once a completely uninteractive combo that raped everything and everyone that made it to turn 10. It was bad enough when it was spawned from the depths of hell, but shit really hit the fan when BDP came along and gave the Druidfags Juicy Psychmelon, a 4-mana draw 4 combo pieces spell.

Blizzard saw this and, like an occasionally responsible company, nerfed Aviana to 10 mana, which completely killed both the card and the archetype.

## What used to happen

* Retardbot #9459574936895 drops Aviana and 1-mana Kun for a total of 10 mana
* The chimp then refills his mana crystals, being now able to play 5 minions of ANY cost in the same turn
* Malygos, Brann BS, Star Aligner, and other such cancer ensues. Either way, the man with extra cromossomes is able to succeed at one thing in life, and thus surpass natural selection
Deathrattle

**Deathrattles or DRs** are effects that happen when something dies. Usually, this is about minions. However, weapons can also break and do shit afterwards. Deathrattles can also be triggered without killing the minions, but that means that you, as a hunter, put non-midrange cards in your deck, and thus you will lose. All heroes have a deathrattle that makes them lose the game.

## History

Back when Hearthstone was at it's coolest, deathrattles were serious fucking business. They were better than battlecries because unlike the latter, DR minions did not pay for the effect with their stats. This meant most Naxx and GvG minions were, for lack of a better word, cancer.

Now, however, after WotOG brought us N'Zoth, Blizzard has decided to calm down, and from now on they've promised to release nothing but underwhelming and/or useless deathrattles to the game.

## Things DRs do

With deathrattles, you can:

* Make board clears ineffective by placing shitty eggs on the board
* Draw cards
* Force your enemy to draw cards
* Have big minions shit out small minions
* Have small minions shit out big minions
* Duplicate an OP minion after destroying it
* Restore health or gain armor
Patron Warrior

As you can see, the Hearthstone artwork team has made it a personal goal to make most powerful cards look like they're about to deliver HStoners their comeuppance

## Deck Info

### Brain Cells Required

3, which is far too much for most HStoners

### Core Cards

Grim Patron, Warsong Commander, Various Whirlwind effects

### Nerfed

Warsong Commander has been completely gutted!

In the middle of the decaying first Year of the Dragon, a certain meta archetype managed to stand out from all others. For once, the meta-defining deck required two braincells to pilot, instead of zero. This made HS's many retards very, very angry, because now they had no chance to join in on the cancer, and only people with more than 70 IQ could win now. This legendary deck was called **Patron Warrior**.

Blizzard quickly realized this would probably warrant changes. It didn't help that this deck raped aggro beyond belief, which alienated the 80% of HS players whose brains are as small as their dicks. As with all happy endings, Patron Warrior's story ended with a deck-killing nerf.

## Strategy

Back in the old days before the nerf, Patron Warrior auto-won against everything. If you were playing a slower deck, then you'd just say hello to a whopping 22 damage on turn 8 at the very least. Alternatively, you could try a faster deck. With so many effects to deal 1 damage to every minion, it is fairly easy to know what would happen if you tried it.

Hilariously, Frothing Berserker could also get charge from Warsong Commander, even after its attack went well over 3, which meant clearing all Patrons still didn't mean your asshole was safe from a painful Garrosh-sized shaft.

## EVERYONE, GET IN HERE!!!!!!

Patron Warrior was such a fucking dominant monstrosity that it bred the "meme" that basically consists of quoting the sound every Patron made when he took damage and survived. While unfunny, the meme does indeed reflect the cesspool of cancerous sounds that many inbred Warrior mains became used to, and showcases why most people on ladder ended up playing HS without sound at the time.

Dont think it's that bad? Here, click multiple times without pause and hear for yourself.
League of Explorers

**League of Explorers** or **LoE** for short was a tragically great adventure that preceded the Year of the Kraken. Not only was it notoriously short on filler and overpowered cards, but it was also completely revealed as soon as it was announced, giving the community a golden age without bitching while they theorycrafted about decks that would never be good to begin with. Since this reveal strat was very successful, Blizzard decided to never use it again. It might have something to do with the fact that they are a small indie company.

Over time, however, LoE became as terrible as all else. Discover, which it introduced, was soon turned into an unbalanced monstrosity, Reno Jackson ended up becoming an OP archetype instead of a janky gimmick, and all in all the adventure ended up complimenting the greatest mistake known to man.

## Theme

Players became members of the League of Explorers in their search for the Staff of Origination. With spelunking and exploration being a must, there are plenty of Indiana Jones references. Instead of Nazis, however, you end up fighting an ethereal who *might* raise an army of mummies. This is all irrelevant since the last wing is pretty dope, and still reminds us of a simpler, less disease-ridden time for Hearthstone.

## Notable Cards

Ironically, the once-greatest addition to Hearthstone now only has either unplayable trash or cancer. Here are the survivors:

* Reno Jackson - Blizzard just could not resist ruining a gimmicky archetype. Then again, nothing wasn't ruined by MSoG.
* Brann Bronzebeard - Baron Rivendare's much more successful cousin. Used in mill mainly, which means no one actually likes him.
* Elise Starseeker - The only member who made it to another expansion. Also the only member who started as a good card and became unplayable.
* Sir Finley Mrrgglton - The only murloc with two brain cells to rub together in the world. Formerly used by aggro to get the hunter hero power. Control hunter also used him to get a defensive hero power.
Jan'alai

> "*Spirit of the Flame! Turn them to ash!*"
> ― Jan'alai, bossing a minion with twice her stats
>
>

**Jan'alai, the Dragonhawk** is a legendary beast for Mage that was instantly exploited by Odd decks once it came out. Like all perfectly designed cards, the community was able to guess exactly how powerful Jan'alai would be as soon as she was revealed.

Much like Toki, this brings back old legendaries to Standard, but instead of it being random and thus crap because of all the filler in Wild, it reliably brings out one of the best legendaries of all time without unpredictability. Better yet, now Ragnaros the Firelord shows his ugly face one turn sooner, attached to a 4/4 body.

## Whacky things to do with Jan'alai

* Duplicate her with Zola the Gorgon
* Use Brann Bronzebeard to double her battlecry
* Play Odd Mage
* Play an Elemental non-Odd Mage with shit winrate
* Play it in hunter with random beast generation
* Lose Rag to Mind Control Tech and kill yourself
Blizzard is a small indie company

**Calling Blizzard a small indie company** is an overrated, unfunny joke popularized by saltlords who can't really constitute a proper argument against the company they hate. Whereas fanboys resort to Salt Thread links as their means of waging the internet wars, their salty counterparts do so with an equally unfunny and predictable shit joke.

## Situations to use the "joke" in

Hearthpwn has a very intense love-hate relationship with the indie company joke, which means any time you mention it, drama is bound to be generated. A few situations where this is already expected are:

* When a Tavern Brawl bombs horribly
* When an expansion's promotion schedule goes completely wrong and the hype dies
* When a much-needed nerf takes 6 months to arrive (or always, in other words)
* When you find a bug or an unintended interaction
* When everything goes wrong
* If you can't find any context, just type an off-topic comment. Who cares, anyway? Hearthpwn loves this joke!
Dr. Boom

**Dr. Boom or Dr. 7**, better known sarcastically as **Dr. Balanced** is the ultimate monument to Blizzard's laziness when it comes to nerfs.

After dominating non-stop for more than a year, without any signs of slowing down, the doctor was threatening Blizzard's credibility when they said the meta was meant to evolve on its own without nerfs. To save face, Blizzard ingeniously created rotations, which acted as pseudo-nerfs without the dreaded dust refunds.

## Strategy

Is it turn 7? Do you have 7 or more mana? Is it time to flush the toilet? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then the time to play the doctor has come.

Everything else is up to God. If your boombots die and blow up on the enemy player, chances are you just lost. If they end up dealing 8 damage to the enemy board and killing two enemy minions, you probably won. They can also deal 1 damage each, and in that case, you probably lost regardless of where they land.

Despite the unreliability, everyone and their mother ran Dr. Balanced, and consequently, everyone ran Big Game Hunter to counter him. Since Blizzard managed to only nerf the tech card instead of the actual problem, now your Dr. 7 is much more likely to go unpunished if you drop him.

## The Return: Dr. Boom, Mad Genius

Blizzard being Blizzard, it was only pipe dreaming to think this monstrosity (which was the main cause for rotations!) would stay away forever.

Instead, Blizzard upped the ante by creating an expansion based on one of the most OP cards in the game, not only restoring his status as a meta-breaker, but also doing so in the shape of a DK.

Surprising absolutely no one, Dr. Boom, Mad Genius has taken it upon his hands to rape HS more than ever, especially during the Year of the Dragon, where most hero cards are gone and no one can stop him.

## The Re-Return: Blastmaster Boom

Going over this unfunny trend, Blizzard doesn't even wait until the Boom hero rotates before giving us another one.

No doubt, it still costs 7 mana, and now it summons even more boombots than before. The only price for running him is that you must play the world's least inspiring deck, so it is typical to assume that most Hearthcunts won't blink twice before they set their grubby paws on the card and turn ladder into a cancer-fest.

In fact, the "new" Boom is so disgustingly OP he almost single-handedly destroyed the Rise of Shadows launch by prompting the inbred smegma stains we call HStoners to skip deckbuilding once again, as early as day 1.

Everyone missed boards full of boombots, so HS is okay.

## See also

* RNG - Learn how to master Dr. 7
* GvG - The first realm of king Boom
* BDP - Boom's underwhelming official reign
* ROS - Where Boom overstays his welcome
* Nerf - What should have happened long ago
* Rotations - His death
* The Boomsday Project - A new realm for this piece of shit
Freeze Mage

**Freeze Mage** was once an OTK/TTK deck that was the postergirl for uninteractivity and shit game design. With Exodia Mage, people have finally figured out this cancerous gem was still nothing compared with what was to come.

## Strategy

Freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, freeze, draw, Alexstrasza, Ice Block, burst!

Just be glad this archetype is dead.
Huffer

**Huffer** is the iconic beast that represents Hearthstone's greatest values. Adopted by unfunny idiots everywhere, this fat pig that somehow has charge became the go-to image when people want to "joke" about aggro and all its derivative retardation.

## But wait! Huffer is also a card!

Huffer comes from Animal Companion at least 77% of the time. His uses include:

* Going face
* Dealing 4 damage to a minion and dying like a little bitch
* Going face
* Not being summoned if your enemy is critically low on health
* Going face
* Showing his ugly face when the enemy only has a 2/1 minion
* Going face
* Making everyone's ears bleed with his entrance sound
* Going face

## See also

* Smorc
* Rigged
* Hunter
* Aggro
* Unfunny
Nemsy Necrofizzle

**Nemsy Necrofizzle** is a Warlock alternate hero, and easily the funniest promotion failure in HS so far. While most other classes got relevant characters in terms of lore, warlock got the fat gnome with bulimia in the art of Fen and Bog Creeper.

With Mecha Jaraxxus, Nemsy has finally been banished and reduced to the shit-tier hero that we knew she was all along.

## How to get

Players were expected to get together in Fireside Gatherings and play a few games together. Of course, very few people were actually willing to go out there and meet the rest of the smelly HStoners that already take up too much space digitally. If that wasn't enough to discourage you from doing this shit, most gatherings "near" you were probably 100 miles away anyway.

Apparently, players were expected to disregard their safety, autistic tendencies and overall social awkwardness and create their own gatherings near them. Instead, what most people did was cheat out their location with a fake GPS app and play a few laggy matches against other losers until they got their greasy hands on Nemsy.

Blizzard, of course, was very disappointed with their community's behavior, but following Blizzard-like traditions, they ended up doing nothing about it.
Curse of Naxxramas

**Curse of Naxxramas or Naxx for short** ~~is~~ was Hearthstone's first adventure and card set. Pros used to recommend buying this adventure as soon as possible until Blizzard scammed everyone with the introduction of rotations.

Instead of being forced to play against other cunts, players were given the sweet relief of playing vs a cold, irresponsive AI that was still better company than anyone in the whole community, and all cards would be given once the adventure was completed.

## Theme

The adventure took players through Kel'thuzad's floating necropolis as they fought necrophiles and slimy, brainless, ugly monsters. While having relatively few cards, the adventure still managed to fuck over HS's meta and thus warrant the first set of unavoidable nerfs from Blizzard. Most of the cards were either related to deathrattles and the destruction of minions, or unplayable garbage.

## Remarkable Cards

As it ages, Naxx thankfully loses its relevance and less of it is seen today. However, many of its abominations still roam and haunt wild mode with no hope of ever being nerfed:

* Loatheb - A cancerous tempo-friendly fen creeper that forces enemies to skip a turn
* Mad Scientist - A 2-mana minion that draws and plays secrets for free
* Deathlord - An unkillable taunt that fucks you over even after you kill it
* Sludge Belcher - The unholy result of a Sen'jin Shieldmasta + Goldshire Footman fornication
Blitzchung

**Blitzchung** is an Asian streamer who decided to, upon winning the Hearthstone GM, take it upon himself to preach about Hong Kong and the absolute shitshow that is Chinese "democracy". Chances were nobody would care if they had just let him have his little moment, because people are selfish assholes, who only care about someting if it affects them. Blizzard, however, upon noticing this, decided to be China's bitch and not only ban Blitzchung, but also strip him of his winnings and fire two casters for witnessing freedom of speech, I guess?

## The Aftermath

Soon after Blizzard decided to bring 1984 to life, some college fuckboys decided to rebel and bring pro-HK merch to another championship. Once more, Blizzard brought forth the power of cancer to silence them, this time by replacing their webcam footage with pictures of WoW heroes. Shortly afterwards, Kibler decided to quit from his position as caster for the upcoming Hearthstone... whatever it was.

## The "Rebellion"

Unfortunately for the Hearthstone Renaissance, this little PR nightmare is now a spanner in the works for Blizzard and Hearthstone itself. Saltlords and (most) fanboys alike are teaming up by going Free2Play or outright uninstalling everything Blizzard did, as well as demanding refunds or spamming shitty requests for information to cause them unnecessary expenses. Will this do anything?

As players quit and emails are spammed, the rope around Blizzard's neck tightens as their PRs probably jump off some buildings. However, not all hope is lost for our lovable giant corporation! Some fanboys, through the sheer power of blind loyalty, are still fiercely standing by this company that would sell them to a life of slavery in Somalia if it netted them two bucks or more. Don't believe it? Feel free to go to Hearthpwn and watch so much corporate and authoritarian cocksucking you will wonder if you are not actually in a forum for fascists and tankies.

Unfortunately, nothing came of it in the end. Streamers never truly rebelled, due to them being unable to transition to streaming different game without genuinely risking their livelihoods, employees were ignored, and most Stoners were back to satisfy their addictions, either within a few months or trickling back after a few years. The one chance that Stoners had a chance to make a genuine, positive, meaningful move by literally just not playing a card game for a year or two were squandered cause someone had to play Jades.
Fungalmancer

> "*MuUUuhsHreeeEEwWm pOooWeeEEr!*"
> ― An inbred kobold after being dropped on the head
>
>

**Fungalcancer** is a "sleeper" neutral card from Kobolds and Catacombs that followed KoFT's tradition of printing retarded neutral minions instead of working on class identity.

With mushrooms everywhere, this card beats any other in terms of phallic references, corrupting the young minds of the poor, naive HStoners that still subject themselves to this game.

## Strategy

If you have 5 mana and 2 minions, you play this card and you win. If you just drew this and you have an empty board, tough shit. Concede and offer yourself to the All-Maker please.

Alternatively, you got this from a random effect onto the board, which means RNG shafted you. In this case, conceding is optional, and you can get to the good stuff quicker.

It is also recommended to turn off the sound while this card is in play or about to be, since it is the only way to shield yourself from the retardation it emanates.
Legendary

**Legendary cards** are mythical treasures whose scarcity is entirely artificial. Blizzard's decree is that allegedly you need to open 20 packs for one of these (that's 2000 gold, mind you). The truth, however, is that it takes between 30 and 40 packs to get any second legendary from any expansion.

Once, legendary cards were expected to be unbelievably powerful, thanks to their rarity and their singular presence in a deck. Now, however, a legendary's powerlevel is a complete coin flip, meaning you can open unplayable trash, even after spending 4000 gold in worthless packs. Experts are still trying to speculate about why Blizzard would create filler legendaries.
Packs

In Hearthstone, **packs** are the Blizzard-approved way to turn 100 gold into 40 dust. Occasionally, a slightly better pack will be given at random to keep tricking everyone into thinking this is not a waste of their precious gold. The only time these expensive 5-card boxes are useful to the average player is when their collection is so empty even filler cards seem good.

## Rules

* ALWAYS 5 cards
* The cards are "random"
* If your pack sucks absolute dick (Hint: it does) then you'll get 4 commons and a rare
* Legend tells of a pity tracker that gives players legendaries and epics after they waste enough gold

## Rules recently added by Blizzard

* Now you'll only open two of the same commons maximum per pack
* Now you are guaranteed to open a legendary in your first ten packs
* Now you can earn packs from a new expansion in Tavern Brawls before its release

"Hey, those sound pretty great! What gives?"

Glad you asked! Now that companies are hungrily lunging towards TCGs after Blizzard's throne, it takes no effort to find a card game where a player can actually win without being forced to spend buckets of cash. Since non-fanboy players were already catching on to how robbed they were being, Blizzard had to up their game with nothing less than generosity. The horror!