Episode 15: "Gimme the Chucky" (w/ Jeff Nelson!)

*This week, the queers are joined by Jeff Nelson of Scream Factory to break down one of the newest titles in their catalogue: 1991’s SINGLE WHITE FEMALE! Nay dissects racist want ads, Mark presents his Clueless hypothesis, Michael debuts another phrase that might make you throw up in your mouth just a little, and Jeff shares a Halloween costume that is soon to be a perennial favorite.   Plus, in Tea Time, we sip on BLACK XMAS, THE L WORD, and 90 DAY FIANCÉ. [1]*

## **Trivia**

Everyone (except Mark) is extremely tired this episode. Mark adds Peter Friedman to his roster of impressions.

Topics brought up during the episode: Michael C. Hall, Blu-ray.com review of *Single White Female**,* buy the Blu-ray from Scream Factory, Bridget Fonda retired from acting, (socials for Jeff and Scream/Shout Factory), Instagram heart-eyes comment for Mark

## **Tea Time**

**Michael:** *Forever* (Amazon series)

**Mark:** Finally finished *Sharp Objects*

**Nay:** *The L Word* season 1

**Jeff:** *90 Day Fiance*, *Silent Night, Deadly Night*, *Black Christmas* (1974), *Black X-Mas*

## **Shady Summaries**

**Michael:** A Tale of Two Beckys or White girls be white girling

**Mark:** Quasi-lesbian fiasco seeks basic-ass straight girl with Chucky haircut for sisterhood and open door showering. Utilities included.

**Michael:** Ahhh, Chucky's haircut

**Mark:** (Bridget Fonda) does have Chucky's haircut

**Nay:** She does

**Mark:** Or, or, hear me out. At times when I looked at Allie and her hair, I thought that if you just shaved the crown of her head, she would have the Friar Tuck. And then as soon as I realized that, and that sort of popped in for me early on in the running time, and then I spent the rest of the movie picturing her with a big fat fucking bald spot and like, this woman-in-peril, but with the Friar Tuck

**Brennan:** They should make a Bridget Fonda Wooly Willy

**Jeff:** I'm not following that. You guys got me beat. All I've got is like, "Jennifer Jason Leigh is a psycho bitch." That's tepid, that's basic bitch

**Nay:** Yeah, I don't-- nothing like that. I just have lots of thoughts

**Jeff:** The Chucky cut is perfect

**Nay:** The Chucky cut is iconic

**Michael:** Like, what do you do, go to your (stylist), "Gimme the Chuck. Gimme the Chuckster."

**Jeff:** "I've got a surprise for you!"

**Nay:** "I'm Allie, wanna play?"

**Michael:** She like, "I have the picture!" And just pulls out a picture of Chucky

## **Pride Float**

**Mark:** So, does this movie get a Pride float?

**Nay:** I dunno. Let us know.

**Jeff:** Yeah

**Nay:** Do you think so? In Ninety-two or 2018?

**Jeff:** I was trying to envision what this float would look like, you know?

**Michael:** That big giant head

**Jeff:** That big giant high heeled shoe and like...

**Mark:** Oooh

**Jeff:** A bunch of Hedys and Allies all dancing around

**Nay:** That's so fun

**Jeff:** And just kind of having a, I don't know, with some New York stuff?

**Michael:** I just see a giant float of that haircut. Fucking nothing else

**Mark:** Nothing else

**Jeff:** Just coming down, "*Single White Female*".

**Mark:** Just this unidentified flying haircut

**Michael:** I mean, nothing on it, nobody on it, no sign

**Mark:** Silence

**Jeff:** Is this- okay, this would be a good question 'cause you guys did *The Fan*, I listened to that, that's one of my all-time favorites

**Nay:** We gotta do (something)

**Michael:** Such a great movie

**Jeff:** If on *The Fan*, you were to do a gayometer, and ten being like, *Rocky Horror*. Where would you put *The Fan?*

**Michael:** Like on a…?

**Jeff:** On the gayometer

**Mark:** I would give it a five

**Michael:** Yeah. Five or six

**Jeff:** Five or six. So where would you put, I put *Single White Female* in the same category.

**Mark:** yeah

**Jeff:** I would say that it is- does it have campy musical numbers? Of course it doesn't. But the lesbian overtones, undertones, the gay upstairs neighbor, Don Roos is the screenwriter, there's a *lot* of queerness

**Mark:** Yep

**Nay:** Having someone live in your apartment not on the lease, like honestly, that's super gay

**Jeff:** A blowjob scene, I mean there're just, you throw... a catfight at the end to up the camp factor

**Michael:** Yeah it's pretty queer

**Jeff:** I would say it's in the five or six, okay, so maybe not a dancing Hedy on the float. That was in my mind

**Mark:** Maybe even a seven, because as you reminded us, because we, you know, we love to gripe and we can't have nice things, that for even 1992, Graham being introduced as--

**Jeff:** Yes

**Mark:** Not living with AIDS

**Michael:** Just another person

**Jeff:** Yeah

**Mark:** And not being weak or being generally unhappy

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** That was progress. Now of course Jennifer Jason Leigh takes, you know, a security bar to his face

**Jeff:** Yes, but then he smashes her head in the wall

**Michael:** Graham is the only one in the movie, too, that had any fucking common sense

**Jeff:** Yes, that's true

**Mark:** That's true. 'Cause he kept saying like, "Loser! Get rid of her!"

**Michael:** I remember that

**Nay:** (as Graham) "And by the way, I can hear *everything* through the vents."

**Michael:** That was the only mistake he made

**Jeff:** That was a good one

**Michael:** Not realizing that Hedy would be hearing everything he's saying

**Mark:** Mmm-hmm

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** (sighs) (as Graham) "She's crazy, get rid of her."

**Jeff:** I always say, "I can be butch. I get it from my mother." That's a great fucking line.

**Nay:** Oh my God

**Jeff:** That's a wonderful line. I've used that

**Nay:** That *is* a wonderful line, and I feel that exact same way. I feel like the women in my family, none of them identify as queer, which is just unfortunate 'cause I think maybe they are, which is not my place. But we all do that about our family, right?

**Michael:** Right

**Nay:** "I think that one's gay." But they're all some serious midwestern women and I feel like midwestern women be **butch**. Who the fuck else is pushing your car out of the snow?

**Mark, Michael and Jeff:** Mmm-hmm

**Nay:** Yeah. My mom, okay? I feel like when I wanna be butch, I draw directly from Diedre Ann Bevver, my mother

**Michael:** Oh my God

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** Diedre Ann

**Nay:** Diedre Ann. So feel that

**Mark:** Okay

**Michael:** Dab?

**Nay:** Dab. That is her initials. Dab.

**Mark:** So I'm kind of partial to Michael's idea of just the haircut floating silently down the street

**Nay:** Oh yeah, I'm into that

**Michael:** Silently down the street

**Mark:** It's just…

**Michael:** Everyone's hand is up waving and then it just slowly--

**Mark:** And everyone just trembles in fear as it passes

**Michael:** Is it Hedy or Allie?

**Nay:** As a sidecar somewhere, you know I love to throw in some Pride resources

**Mark:** Of course

**Nay:** I mean maybe the L.A. Tenants Union or something. Someone's there to talk about your rights as a renter

**Mark:** (cracking up) Renter's rights

**Michael:** It needs to do Pride service

**Nay:** Just something, you know? We all could use better information

**Jeff:** Oh my God, you guys have made this movie *so* much better

**Mark:** Oh, then like a sea of Buddies

**Michael and Jeff:** Awwww!

**Jeff:** No, that's sad

**Mark:** Running

**Michael:** That live forever?

**Jeff:** How about a sea of Steven Weber lookalikes?

**Mark:** Okay

**Nay:** I think that already *is* Pride

**Mark:** Big *Wings* fan

**Jeff:** No, big *Jeffrey* fan

**Mark:** Oh, no, *Jeffrey*

**Michael:** I think *Jeffrey* is right you guys. That already is Pride

**Nay:** I'm like, yeah, let's have a bunch of white men at Pride. Oh my God!

**Mark:** Surprise!

**Michael:** Bunch of shirtless white men

**Mark:** *I know*!

**Nay:** I like the Buddy sea. That's cute

**Michael:** It would be so cute

## **Quotes**

**Jeff:** It's funny because, coming on to the show, I was thinking, you know, the Scream Factory library, we have a *lot* of gay stuff in there. It is crazy. *Death Becomes Her, Carrie,* we're gonna talk about *Single White Female*, you know, there's--

**Michael:** *Urban Legend*, which I have in my hand right now, it's queer as hell!

**Jeff:** Yeah, of course it is. Rebecca Gayheart is about as campy as it could be

**Mark:** Big, big hair

**Michael:** Tara Reid. Anything Tara Reid does...

**Jeff:** *Candyman*, anything Tony Todd does is hot.

**Mark:** "Be my victim," is the best pickup line

**Nay:** I thought you were gonna say, "B-B-C"

**Michael:** Like the network?

**Nay:** No

**Michael:** Ohhhh, I just got it. I'm quick

**Jeff:** We have Joan Crawford in *Strait-jacket.* We have *The Sentinel*, where there is masturbating lesbians

**Nay:** Oh my God, I love *The Sentinel*

**Mark:** Yeah, that's a fucked up movie

**Jeff:** So there's just like, there's quite a bit of queer horror in there

**Mark:** An enormous amount. And certainly *Single White Female* doesn't disappoint in that area either, so

**Michael:** S-W-F? Pretty nineties girl band

**Nay:** True. Imagine a girl band and everyone looks like Allie

**Michael:** Oh my God. Terrifying

**Nay:** You could've, my God you could've been something. I want you in a little bit to share with everyone your Halloween costume

**Jeff:** Yes, I will

**Michael:** (To Mark) You had mentioned this (about *Forever*) before too, but any show that really doesn't reveal its premise cards until episode three is pretty fucking awesome. And you had mentioned that and I was like, "Okay. What does he mean? Will I notice?" Yeah, you fuckin' notice

**Mark:** Yeah, you sure do

**Michael:** Oooh, and my seat just got h-wet (about Mark finishing *Sharp Objects*)

**Mark:** And I'll never smile again

**Michael:** Gladly

**Mark:** Yeah. It is a show like, designed to just-- I was excited to finish it, because I had gotten really busy and I had been-- and then I was like, "Oh this is why I took a break." 'Cause it's everything from cutting to Munchausen to rape to disembowelment. Child murder to murdering his children.

**Michael:** All the showers

**Mark:** There's not-- it should come with a complementary shower, this show. And I mean that as a compliment. I mean that in a complimentary way. Jean-Marc Vallee is an amazing, *amazing* director

**Michael:** I mean that, *Big Little Lies*, so great

**Mark:** Stunning. He works with his Quebec contingency. I think he's working with some of the same people he's been working with since *Polytechnic*, which is a movie we should watch one day, which is one of the scariest movies I've seen, like, ever. And uh, yeah. Obviously it's on HBONow or HBOGo, whichever one you use. And I highly recommend, but I also recommend it--

**Michael:** With caution?

**Mark:** Watch with a stuffed animal

**Michael:** The thing that he does with *Sharp Objects* and *Big Little Lies* is that he creates complete worlds. His towns are such characters and the towns in those two shows could not be further apart. And it's so cool

**Mark:** Yeah. I also, would be wrong not to mention Marti Noxon, who is, you know, a stunning writer and just such a creative force, who contributes, I mean, such vision to the overall feel of the show, but you know, between her writing and his direction and unfortunately I can't remember the name of his editor(s). But the editing in this show is so overwhelming and it creates such, it's so hypnotic

**Michael:** The performances are amazing, it's so good

**Mark:** Yeah, Amy Adams is fucking fearless

**Nay:** You know I love to re-watch an old show. I feel like every week I'm like, "I rewatched such-and-such"

**Michael:** "For the four hundredth time."

**Nay:** For the four hundredth time. But I just *had* to-- sometimes I'm in a certain mood and I need to watch *The L Word*. And I, yeah, just started with season one again and watched *all* of season one. And I'm reminded of so many things that I already thought, like, "Ugh, Tina's annoying, Jenny"

**Mark:** Wait, which is the one they eventually killed?

**Nay:** Jenny. Jenny Schecter

**Mark:** Oh my God. She was something else

**Nay:** But I'm gonna say this out loud, and y'all can @ me when, you know, you wanna fight with me, but this happened the last time I rewatched it and I was reminded when I started again. When I first watched it, I *hated* Jenny. I thought she was the most horrible, I was happy when she got killed

**Mark:** That's what I remember. I remember her being, "Oh my God."

**Nay:** Yes. So fucking annoying. And the older I get, the more times I rewatch it, the more compassion and understanding I gain for her, so I'm hesitant to say, but I kinda get it. Basically, yeah, I think that I had to live and love a little bit. And had to experience a certain kind of heartbreak for me to really understand Jennifer Schechter. And now, I'm like, glad that I didn't go Jenny, you know? But, I, I have like a lot-- there's a lot more depth there than I previously thought because I must have more depth now, or something.

**Mark:** I'm still glad she's dead

**Nay:** Oh, yeah. I mean of course. That's never gonna go away.

**Michael:** Aren't they rebooting that?

**Nay:** I heard something about that, I heard that, who was it?

**Mark:** Yes

**Michael:** A sequel?

**Nay:** I heard that it was um, Showtime, that's who did it.

**Michael:** Yeah

**Nay:** I heard that they were gonna do a reboot, that they were working on that

**Michael:** 'Bout a newer generation, right?

**Nay:** Hopefully people who are a little more relatable, you know? Like you don't live in West Hollywood and you're never at work. I don't believe that. You don't have any roommates? I don't believe that. You have no Black friends? I believe that.

**Mark:** It was a different time. It was a different time.

**Nay:** It *was* a different time. I just hope if Pam Grier's ever anywhere near it they just give her a little bit more than she had in the original

**Jeff:** And then I'm also doing all the Christmas watching, so it's *Silent Night, Deadly Night*, *Black Christmas* (1974), *To All A Goodnight*. You know, the wonderful heartwarming Christmas movies.

**Michael:** Yeah. I've been wanting to watch *Black X-Mas*, the remake

**Jeff:** Yes, I watched that, too

**Michael:** I haven't caught that in awhile and I'm really itching to see Michelle Trachtenberg get a skate through her head

**Jeff:** Yep, yep. That is one of those movies where I watch and I say...

**Michael:** It's great!

**Jeff:** I dunno if it's great, but, I watch it every year

**Michael:** It's great in all the wrong ways

**Jeff:** Yes

**Mark:** I always have a weird experience watching that movie, because it's very, it's...

**Michael:** It's icky

**Mark:** It *is* icky

**Michael:** It looks great

**Jeff:** It looks great

**Mark:** It looks great, and has the Glen Morgan sort of sheen to it, like in a sense...

**Michael:** So mean

**Jeff:** Yes

**Mark:** I'm probably in the minority; actually I'd have no idea if people like this movie or not--

**Jeff:** No they did

**Michael:** It's getting some...

**Mark:** I actually like their *Willard*.

**Jeff:** Which we're releasing in March

**Mark:** I'm a fan. I mean, it's got Crispin Glover, it's got Laura Harring from *Mulholland Drive*

**Jeff:** And from *The Forbidden Dance: Lambada*. Just thought I'd throw that out there

**Mark:** Oh my God, yeah. Is that the one where she's trying to save the rainforest?

**Jeff:** Yeah

**Michael:** Isn't she also in a movie called *The In Crowd*?

**Jeff:** No, Laura Harring is not in that one. But the fact that you know that movie is pretty funny

**Mark:** I saw *The In Crowd* in the theater

**Jeff:** I did, too!

**Michael:** So did I. I used to have a crush on Matthew Settle. Will Benson?

**Mark:** This is a real WB rabbit hole. So it's weird, *Black X-Mas* is such a weird experience because it's competent and yet at the same time, it has none of the charm. And it's weird. It's clever and the Andrea Martin...

**Michael:** Well, it's also Weinstein, too

**Jeff:** Yeah

**Mark:** The Andrea Martin windshield to the icicle death. Like there's movements in it that I'm like, this is witty and interesting, but yet it doesn't quite ever add up to anything

**Jeff:** But they make the killer yellow. And there's a sister that's a sort of weird *White Chicks* drag queen thing. It's just at the end, it's just...

**Mark:** The skin cookies?

**Jeff:** I'm not kidding, they have...

**Michael:** Jaundice?

**Jeff:** Yeah. It's very odd

**Michael:** It's very bizarre

**Nay: *What???***

**Jeff:** I'm not kidding

**Michael:** My favorite part though, is the cookies made out of the mom's back. So great

**Jeff:** Makes you wanna watch it, right?

**Nay:** Yeah.

**Michael:** It's like a fucking fever dream, really. And you know, it went through the whole Bob and Harvey Weinstein machine too, so it got fifty-five different versions of it...

**Mark:** And you know what it doesn't have?

**Michael:** Some of 'em were camp, some were gorier, some were straight scares

**Jeff:** Well, I remember I saw it on Christmas Day,

**Michael:** So did I

**Jeff:** I was like, "Oh! This is my Christmas movie." And then I walked out of the movie and I was like, "This is so lame," just like everybody else

**Michael:** Such a great cast

**Jeff:** Yeah.

**Mark:** Every time I look at it, I'm like, "Oh, I could've watched the Margot Kidder one." Margot Kidder is...

**Jeff:** We put that one out and that one...

**Mark:** Barb is one of the all-time best horror movie performances ever. It is priceless

**Michael:** Absolutely

**Jeff:** I love Mrs. Mack

**Mark:** (as Mrs. Mack) "Claude!"

**Jeff:** Mrs. Mack is the best. She's just like, "Goddammit you little prick!"

**Mark:** (as Mrs. Mack) "Goddammit, Claude!"

**Jeff:** (to Nay) And you've not seen *Black Christmas*?

**Nay:** No

**Jeff:** The original is *so* good. It's the prototype of all the original slasher films that came after.

**Mark:** Oh my *God*, the original is so good

**Jeff:** *Halloween*; stranger in the house and the calls, and POV stalker kills

**Michael:** Yeah. (to Jeff) Did you almost say "penis"?

**Jeff:** I almost did

**Mark:** Penis-cam….

**Michael:** The original was directed by the guy that ended up directing *A Christmas Story*

**Jeff:** And *Porky's*

**Mark and Brennan:** And *Baby Geniuses*

**Brennan:** And *Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2*

**Nay:** Wow. I think I have seen this

**Mark:** Producer Brennan??! Hey everyone look, it's Producer Brennan!

**Brennan:** Hey, it is me. I couldn't not chime in about *Black X-Mas*.

**Michael:** Yes please do

**Brennan:** I think it's fine. I mean, obviously the point of *Black Christmas*, the original is that it's *so* subtle and you *don't* really get to know anything about the killer

**Michael:** Right

**Brennan:** And I don't mind getting to know about this crazy go nuts whatever-the-hell backstory is going on with Billy in (*Black X-Mas*)

**Mark:** Still inscrutable

**Michael:** (deep voice) Billy and Agnes.

**Brennan:** Yeah. But the thing I have a problem with is that most of the girls in that movie are famous for other things. You've got Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lacey Chabert from every Hallmark Christmas movie ever.

**Michael:** And Katie Cassidy, right?

**Jeff:** Yup

**Brennan:** Yeah. They're all styled the exact same way. They're all spritzed the exact same way.

**Mark:** Yep

**Brennan:** Watching that movie to me, is like watching that scene in *The Last Jedi* where there's like eight million Reys and they're all snapping at the same time. I can't tell anyone apart in that movie

**Mark:** That's pretty true

**Jeff:** They are pretty interchangeable

**Mark:** It is white girl soup

**Jeff:** Yes it is.

**Mark:** You're just like what's--

**Michael:** It's like a Bed Bath and Beyond induction film

**Nay:** Shut the fuck up!

**Mark:** Isn't Carla Gugino in it, too?

**Michael:** No, you're thinking of...

**Mark:** Who is the older sister that shows up?

**Michael:** She's the teacher from...

**Jeff:** *Final Destination*

**Michael:** And she's married to Morgan or Wong. I can't remember which one

**Mark:** See? White girl soup. Who knows?

**Michael:** It's just a tepid bowl of water with no seasoning

**Nay:** No! (laughter)

**Brennan:** With Christmas seasoning

**Michael:** Yeah, I like listening to (Nay's) recaps of shows you've already watched, like your *Dexter* stuff

**Nay:** Oh my God

**Michael:** I was listening to that today and I was like, I want more of Nay's *Dexter* dreams

**Mark:** (to Jeff) Nay has had some *Dexter* dreams

**Michael:** And I love that in, my favorite part is that he was cutting up a body and he was like, "If this person ever hurts you again..." I'm like, "Nay. He's cuttin' them up."

**Nay:** Mmm-hmm. Dreams don't make sense

**Michael:** I was dying. I loved it

**Nay:** I was telling them last time we recorded that I rewatched *Dexter* and every time I rewatch *Dexter*, I have *Dexter* dreams and uh, yeah

**Jeff:** Oh my God, you guys all watched like, quality shows. I'm watching like, *90 Day Fiance*, trainwreck reality TV

**Nay:** Nice

**Mark:** (gasps) I heard that show is insane

**Jeff:** And it's fucking awful

**Michael:** Yeah, Mark just finished one of the best

**Jeff:** It is truly...

**Mark:** I kind of did

**Jeff:** Listen. I don't watch reality television shows, but last year I kind of got suckered into it, watching it with a friend of mine

**Nay:** It's good shit

**Jeff:** It's awful!

**Michael:** It's mindless television, though, right?

**Jeff:** It's so beyond-- the people that they find on that show and who do this. And the best part about it? Is you go on their Facebook page and you see all the comments and everybody's on the same page in like, at home watching, ragging on it

**Michael:** Yeah, they hate watch it

**Jeff:** They hate watch it. But it's hysterical, the comments on there are like comedians. So that's kinda working out there, too.

**Nay:** I always, you know, (to Jeff), you were speaking about watching trash and we all watch-- I actually mostly watch trash

**Michael:** Same. Right now

**Nay:** And mostly just watch Instagram. That's actually what I mostly watch. And there is this video *really* circulating right now of--

**Michael:** Oprah?

**Nay:** Oprah! Yeah! (Valley girl) 'We're so sorry!' Where she...

**Michael:** I was hoping you would bring this up

**Mark:** The million-dollar chicken! And she tastes it and is like, "Bitch, what?"

**Nay:** She tastes it and is like, "Um. Did we add salt and pepper?"

**Michael:** (as Oprah) "Did you salt this?"

**Nay:** And the lady's like, "No."

**Michael:** Yeah. No salt or pepper

**Mark:** (as the white lady) "No, there's actually nothing on it. It's just boiled. I boiled it."

**Nay:** (as the white lady) "Just boiled chicken." I was losing my shit

**Michael:** Oprah is literally...

**Jeff:** I need to see this

**Michael:** Mouth full, chewing, like, "Bitch. Get off my set."

**Nay:** Honestly, how *dare* someone offer me some unseasoned chicken. How could you

**Michael:** A million dollars

**Mark:** A million-dollar recipe

**Nay:** It's white privilege, honestly. Who else is gonna sell a "Million-dollar" bland-ass chicken recipe?

**Michael:** I don't-- who, like, I wanted to dig into this and I haven't had a chance...

**Nay:** (as Michael) "I need to do my research"

**Michael:** Like go and see, was it a chicken contest for women named Becky?

**Mark:** I'm a chicken truther

**Michael:** Like, what could be-- How does an unseasoned chicken win a million dollars?

**Jeff:** Wow

**Mark:** Nobody knows

**Nay:** But, thank you

**Michael:** It was like a gated community contest only

**Nay:** Michael. You know, I appreciate that, I appreciate Michael. And I think this is very on-topic since we came here this week to actually talk about crazy white women

**Mark:** Yaaaay!

**Brennan:** (before playing the trailer) I have done my best to cut out most of the air from this trailer, so you guys don't get bored. We'll see how that goes

**Michael:** I watched the trailer for the sequel last night and the sequel trailer ends with, "Having a roommate can be a bitch."

**Nay:** That's the truth

**Mark:** The sequel, the scenes that I have watched from the sequel, they just seem...

**Jeff:** They're awful

**Mark:** Like pornography is about to occur

**Michael:** Like softcore remake

**Brennan:** I've seen the entire sequel

**Jeff:** We will not be releasing *Single White Female 2: The Psycho*

**Mark:** Jeff, what do you mean?

**Jeff:** No, sorry. No, we're not

**Brennan:** That movie's really important. Have you seen the title card for *Single White Female 2?* I will pull it up, you guys keep talking

**Nay:** Softcore lesbian porn? Is that what…?

**Michael:** Kind of

**Nay:** That sounds great

**Jeff:** Let's just say this. When we announced and released *Single White Female*, I don't, I think maybe one person said, "What about *Two*?" So that just tells ya

**Michael:** And it was someone from the movie

**Jeff:** Probably

**Nay:** I would like to know, just one snippet, who is your favorite roommate of all time?

**Michael:** Ooh, that's a really good question

**Mark:** What a great question

**Nay:** Because this movie had me-- I've had so many roommates, and this movie had me thinking about that and how fortunate I've been to be alive after having so many roommates. I've had like roommates from Craigslist

**Michael:** I did that once, yeah

**Nay:** When I went to grad school, I drove out to Boston to move in with this Craigslist roommate that I'd never met. We'd talked on the phone, y'know? And so, I was convinced the whole way I was driving there, I was like, "This apartment probably doesn't even exist. None of this is real." And so, anyway

**Michael:** How was the experience? How did it end up being?

**Nay:** It ended up being fine. It was a'ight, you know? It was a'ight.

**Michael:** Best experience or worst?

**Nay:** If you're comfortable sharing the worst

**Michael:** I can share my worst for sure

**Nay:** You can do that. But if you're just feeling warm and fuzzy and, "I'd like to talk about my most beloved of roommates," you can do that, too

**Michael:** I have to say my best roommate situation was living with Brian, so I'm gonna do my worst. (To Brian) And it is, honey, I love you. My worst was, I had a roommate here in L.A., who would always shower kind of like Hedy does in this movie, with like, dick out. And he was like a beautiful man and he knew it, but he also was just like super inappropriate. Like, "You wanna come in?" Like ask me to shower with him. Saying stuff like everyday, "You can sleep in my room tonight.''

**Nay:** Oh hell no!

**Michael:** Yeah. So it was like I was constantly just being sexually harassed. And made it very clear from the very beginning, "I do not want anything sexually to do with you."

**Mark:** All right, Michael, everyone wants your body. Jesus Christ

**Michael:** Nothing to do with that

**Nay:** Oh my God

**Michael:** Gurl. Mark is on my case

**Mark:** I am not!

**Michael:** But yeah, so. I mean, that might not be the worst to some people, but once I-- I said to him several times, like, "Dude. Stop." It actually got to the point where five or six nights a week I wasn't staying at home, I was staying at a friend's house

**Nay:** Oh, no! That's the worst

**Michael:** So if you're listening, hey! You know who you are

**Nay:** "You made my home unbearable."

**Michael:** I think I lasted there like six months

**Nay:** (to Mark) You got a story?

**Mark:** My all-time best roommate situation was during grad school, when I lived in Watertown, Massachusetts with three straight guys who had no interest in me whatsoever and left me alone

**Jeff:** That's not how I wanted your story to end! I was like, "What three straight guys-- Oh, oh. They left you alone? Dammit."

**Michael:** I know. They're all secretly like back-to-back in one room

**Mark:** I had an amazing room, I had my own bathroom. And the most I ever spoke to them or they spoke to me was, "Good morning," or, "Good night." Or, "Hey, I didn't know you were here."

**Jeff:** But no…?

**Mark:** And everyone paid their bills on time. Nobody was weird

**Michael:** Did the three of them hang out?

**Jeff:** But did anyone, was anyone like, "Hi, I'm drunk tonight. Can I sleep in your room?" Nothing like that?

**Mark:** Also, what was really wonderful--

**Brennan:** Like, "I'm really sore from all the sports, can I get a massage?"

**Jeff:** Yeah

**Michael:** (fey voice) "My inner thigh is hurting."

**Mark:** Added bonus, added bonus: They were nice, they were tidy, they paid their bills on time and also, I was attracted in no way, shape or form to any of them.

**Jeff:** What the fuck?! You got a great situation! Wow

**Mark:** It was perfect

**Michael:** That's great

**Nay:** It has me totally rethinking what my favorite roommate situation is. I've now changed to when *I* was living in Malden, Massachusetts, in grad school.

**Mark:** (inaudible)

**Nay:** Right. A.k.a. Mayberry. It was very weird. But, I had three straight girl roommates and I literally to this day do not know any of their names. 'Cause I couldn't tell them apart. I called one of them Messy.

**Mark:** "Ashley"!

**Nay:** I called one of them Glasses 'cause she--

**Michael:** (as Nay) "I've just got cute nicknames for you girls."

**Nay:** Yeah, I called them Messy, Glasses and The One With the Dog

**Jeff:** There is the one with a dog. Wow.

**Brennan:** Were you living with the Seven Dwarves?

**Michael:** Mark is shaking!

**Nay:** And I'm like, "You know what, Mark, you're right, that *was* the best!" They never wanted, like I would see them in passing

**Mark:** Oh, you could put a gun to my head and ask me the names of those guys. Wouldn't be able to tell you for love or money.

**Nay:** Oh, I have no idea these girls' names

**Michael:** Glasses, The One With the Dog

**Jeff:** Messy

**Nay and Michael:** and Messy

**Nay:** Yeah, Messy, Glasses and The One With the Dog

**Mark:** I'm like, Owen Wilson's Younger Brother Kind Of,

**Michael:** (as Mark) "Owen Wilson and…"

**Jeff:** I went and saw *Single White Female* in the theater three times because at that time in my life, early twenties, I was going through several instances of moving out here and going through hell. So the movie was not like, fiction to me. I was like, "This is real, people. This is happens." I had roommates, I had one roommate steal money out of my ATM when I first moved out here when I was nineteen. I found the receipt in his room and then he said someone tried to frame him. I'm not kidding.

**Mark:** Points for creativity

**Jeff:** I had another guy in West Hollywood who was scary, but I was trying to just kind of move out of one bad situation, people stole my money, into another one. And then this guy just creeped out all my friends and then I moved out into another situation with a guy who was only gonna be there for three months and I didn't know about it and I got kicked out. It was like one after another, and finally at one point I said, "No roommates! Not gonna happen." And I never looked back. So, I can't say I had a wonderful, warm, loving; you know, I didn't have your situation

**Michael:** I always had fun roommates in college, too. I was lucky in college. Some of my best friends still to this day are people I lived with in school

**Nay:** I love how you can become best friends with someone you don't know and move in with, but you cannot stay best friends with the best friend you moved in with

**Mark:** True

**Jeff:** Oh yeah

**Nay:** That's interesting. I have made really close friends from people I didn't know that I moved in, but I have lost just about everyone that I was friends with before we lived together

**Mark:** That's true. Very true

**Jeff:** I did move in one time with someone where we were friends and after four months that friendship went kaput

**Brennan:** Oh my God!

**Jeff:** I was bummed. It was like, "How did that happen?" I mean, we hung out, we did all this kinda stuff, and if that person's listening then you know who you are, too.

**Michael:** It was the same person

**Jeff:** But I was like, it was like, that was the last roommate situation. I was like, "Okay. We're done here," you know? Advantage of being single

**Nay:** Well, R.I.P. to all of the friends we've lost

**Brennan:** Wait, I have a story

**Everyone else:** Ooooh

**Mark:** Brennan, I bet it's a doozy

**Brennan:** Well, I did have a roommate and I came home one day and he had moved out.

**Nay:** (laughing) That's so funny!

**Brennan:** I was literally sharing a room with him in a bigger apartment so the other guys in the apartment were like, "He had a bunch of boxes in here." And he didn't pay any more rent, so I had to do that. Not recommended

**Mark:** What a dick!

**Brennan:** Yeah

**Jeff:** People are wild

**Brennan:** Also, my college roommate, who I assume is not listening, because he has no idea who I am, I don't think. He had his girlfriend sleep in his bed every single night, in a tiny tiny twin bed across the room from me in our college dorm. And she would be there all day, just sleeping in the bed. I was like, "Do you have a job? Do you have friends? Will you leave, please. This is my--"

**Nay:** "Are you well?" Like how do you sleep so much?

**Michael:** That's a really good question. "Are you okay?"

**Nay:** "Do you need help?"

**Brennan:** She's not paying to be here

**Mark:** "Is there a dot in your palm?"

**Nay:** Right?

**Brennan:** I would come home and she would glare at me for making noise and like waking her up. And I'm like, "Girl, you don't live here!"

**Nay:** "You could leave, though!"

**Brennan:** And I think she lived down the street, too. So that was the kicker there

**Mark:** Well she sounds great

**Brennan:** She was wonderful. If you're listening, yeah, you suck, sorry.

**Mark:** Whatever her name-- Eeyore, she doesn't have--

**Nay:** Awwww, I love Eeyore!

**Brennan:** How did you know? Do you know her?

**Mark:** I know, we do love Eeyore

**Michael:** Eeyore's the best

**Nay:** Mark, did you read the book?

**Mark:** *Single White Female*? The John Lutz?

**Nay:** The novel, yes

**Mark:** No, I never did

**Nay:** Okay, I was just asking. 'Cause you know Mark has read every book

**Michael:** True

**Nay:** He'll be like, (as Mark) "Well, you know in the novel…." And, yeah. Markapedia is for real and we love it

**Michael:** Yeah, I'd rather AskJeeves Mark

**Mark:** You don't get to drag me tonight

**Nay:** I'm not dragging you! Mark doesn't know how to take a compliment so when we compliment him...

**Michael:** He thinks that we're dragging him

**Nay:** He pretends that we're dragging him, 'cause it makes him feel better

**Nay:** (The novel) is called *Single White Female Seeks Same*. How do you feel about that? I wanna ask other folks how do you feel. Just that statement. If you were to read, "Single White Female seeks same," do you have any feelings about that? I have some feelings about that, but I wanna hear from y'all

**Mark:** Isn't it fascinating how certain things when you look back at them, at the time you absorbed it, you were like, (high-pitched bubbly voice) "Single White Female Seeks Same!" (normal voice) And now you look back on it and you're like, "Eww."

**Michael:** Yeah, it is ewww-y. When I saw that title card pop up, I didn't, it didn't really register. But when you say it, like holy shit!

**Mark:** I will say, that's the title of the book. But, to the film's credit, or to Don Roos's credit, the screenwriter, who is a gay screenwriter. He also wrote *The Opposite of Sex*. When Allie does type in "SWF seeks…" she does not put "same", she puts "roommate." And just because all the applicants she meets are white doesn't necessarily mean she was closed to a variety of people

**Brennan:** New York is famously a very white city, though, so that makes sense

**Nay:** Isn't New York like fifty-one percent Black actually?

**Mark:** I do not know the math

**Brennan:** I was joking, but I don't actually know the demographics

**Michael:** I don't know the demographics but that sounds right

**Nay:** Yeah. I think it's actually-- Anyway, you know, my thing is, if someone really wants that? If you *are* seeking another white person? I kind of want you to put that in the ad. 'Cause I wanna know. It reminded me of this town near my hometown. I grew up in central Illinois and there was a town that had a sign up until like, I should look up the actual year, but in my lifetime had a sign up like, "No Blacks After Dark."

**Michael:** Holy shit

**Jeff:** Oh my God!

**Mark:** What the fuck

**Brennan:** That's horrible

**Nay:** And in my lifetime the sign got taken down and I was just like, "You know what? I kind of need the sign." Like I kind of wanna know if I'm not supposed to stop and get gas here, because people's attitudes haven't changed, it's just someone's just taken the sign down

**Michael:** True. They're just hiding

**Nay:** Obviously I understand why the sign needs to come down. Hello.

**Mark:** This perverse double-edged sword of, "At least this fucked up sign is letting me know that my body is in danger."

**Nay:** Yeah. Like, be honest

**Michael:** Be ready to protect yourself

**Nay:** So that was my thought about if someone were to be like, "Single White Female seeks same," you know, you probably should be up front about that

**Mark:** Thank you next

**Nay:** Also? "Single"? How old are Allie and Jennifer Jason Leigh supposed to be in this?

**Jeff:** I think twenties

**Michael:** In their twenties, yeah, that's what I think

**Mark:** I'd say twenties

**Nay:** Maybe it's being in my thirties and having roommates in their thirties, I'm like, somebody, like your dorm mate, someone's boo is gonna end up sleeping over here all the time depending on how many people live here. Like that's just gonna happen. And, I dunno, you just can't really request a single roommate like this, it's just not. It's absurd

**Mark:** It's a little...

**Nay:** Absurd

**Mark:** Yeah. And that's the thing, is that the movie sort of opens with this, you know, I love the opening of this movie. Beautiful shots of the Ansonia, and I love the score too, and you know, but you can start hearing Allie and Sam, this this, as soon as they go in on their heterosexual nonsense of like, (as Allie) "I want this many kids." (as Sam) "I want this many kids." (as Allie) "I think that they should look like you." (as Sam) "I think they should look like you." (normal voice) I was like, "I cannot wait for a messy lesbian psycho to come and ruin their lives. I can't wait."

**Nay:** Right? Fuck it up for real

**Michael:** Shatter this bullshit

**Mark:** We were less than three minutes into the movie and I was like, "I want them dead."

**Nay:** I remember being young watching it and being like, "What is rent control?"

**Michael:** Same!

**Nay:** Like why does this keep coming up?

**Michael:** What does that mean?

**Mark:** I'm picturing baby Nay going, "Yeah, I have a question."

**Nay:** Yeah, no, for real. I was like, "What is that?"

**Michael:** "Pause the VHS," I mean

**Nay:** Yeah, what is rent control

**Michael:** It took me forever-- that, and escrow. I never knew what the fuck escrow was. I'd hear it on like, *Friends* and I'd be like, "The fuck are they talking about? Shut up, Monica."

**Mark:** I love that we could just talk about real estate for the whole-- this could be like the plot twist of the podcast, to sort of just like...

**Nay:** Be like, "Actually…"

**Michael:** That's my first question when I was watching it with Brian last night. I go, "Wait. I haven't seen this in forever." I go, 'She's living in this kick-ass place but needs a roommate? How?" Didn't she just want another person around, right?

**Nay:** Didn't it seem like that, when she's having that conversation about well, missing Sam and having this beautiful apartment

**Michael:** (as Allie) "I'll get a roommate,"

**Nay:** (as Allie) "I'll get a roommate." (normal voice) And none of it seemed to be like, "I can only afford to live here if there's a roommate."

**Michael:** Right. But then there's, what's the friend upstairs name?

**Jeff, Nay and Mark:** Graham

**Michael:** Graham is like, the out of work actor and his place is even better than hers. I'm like...

**Mark:** (as Graham) "That guy who fucked his ex-wife? Oh, just call him, Allie."

**Nay:** Right, and yeah

**Michael:** His advice was always the worst

**Mark:** I was like, "Graham, what the fuck?!"

**Michael:** He'd be like, "You need to go down there and tell her to leave right now. Did you not wanna do that and sleep here?" He'd totally contradict himself

**Mark:** (as Graham) "You know what, you know what? Come babysit my cat while I'm away. By the way, ignore its litterbox, abuse it."

**Nay:** That's what I do

**Mark:** (as Graham) "You know, I have an animal, I need someone to abuse it while I'm at my cousin's wedding in Boston." What the fuck?

**Michael:** Yeah, I just kept thinking about like, what do their dads do

**Nay:** No, for real, like who is supplementing your income

**Jeff:** But at that time, the upstairs neighbor, who's *gay*. That was *huge*

**Michael:** He was just like the boyfriend

**Jeff:** That was *not* in a mainstream movie.

**Michael:** Very true

**Jeff:** And you know what? He was brought in casually. Like he just says, "You think I, you know, if another man..."

**Michael:** He doesn't just pirouette in to a scene

**Jeff:** Yeah. No, it was just kind of like, "Oh, okay. You just folded him in nicely." He ends up being quite a hero at the end of it and defending-- so I was like, "Okay. Some positive," like you know, and I think *Basic Instinct* was that year as well, and that sort of balanced it out of not like, so positive

**Michael:** Well Mark had mentioned the music earlier. I kept thinking about it

**Jeff:** Howard Shore?

**Michael:** Yeah.

**Mark:** I love Howard Shore

**Michael:** It was very much in the vein of *Silence of the Lambs* and it was very much because *Silence of the Lambs* came out the year before but it didn't match the movie to me at all

**Jeff:** Oh really?

**Michael:** Yeah. I thought the score was too...

**Mark:** Too classy?

**Michael:** Yeah!

**Jeff:** Yeah, it is a classy score

**Michael:** It needed a trashier score

**Mark:** No, he scores David Cronenberg's films, and Howard Shore's, I think my favorite of his is *Dead Ringers*. And he achieves this weird kind of like weird, very spare grandeur. He did *Se7en*, he did *Scanners*, he did *Crash* (1996). *Crash* is a really, really super--

**Michael:** Well I kept thinking about that. I thought that the score was too big for where we were always

**Mark:** That's interesting. Interesting

**Michael:** We were in these confined places and the score sounded so grand that it bumped up for me, but I love his music in the movie anyway so whatever

**Jeff:** Oddly enough there was never a soundtrack for this movie, which is really strange because it's a Howard Shore

**Michael:** It's a great score

**Nay:** I would listen to it

**Jeff:** And I honestly would have bought it. I really like the movie a lot.

**Mark:** That was one of the first things I thought of when it started and there's beautiful shots of the Antonia, I was like, "Oh God, I remember the score, I remember this moment."

**Michael:** The first time I saw it I remember thinking that, too. And I was a little disappointed we didn't more of the city, 'cause they try to establish the city as such an important character

**Jeff:** Well it's really interesting because you and I were talking about this before the podcast, but it also follows in the lines of a lot of gay New York thrillers that were done in the eighties like *Cruising*. There's a movie called *Windows* that involves two ladies. This is very similar. That's in New York City. *The Fan* is in New York City. *Dressed to Kill* is in New York City. So there is a lot of like, for some reason, gay-themed thrillers

**Mark:** For sure! And *Single White Female* is contingent… what I love about *Single White Female* is like you said, the introduction of Graham is weirdly… the introduction of Graham is, like you said, really casual. He just sort of arrives and whatever.

**Jeff:** Yes

**Mark:** But, so that's progress, but at the same time, *Single White Female* is continuing in the longstanding tradition of New York-set gay thrillers for gay bodies to be brutalized

**Jeff:** That's absolutely true. You know what? You're right. Because it's true

**Mark:** In some way, shape or form

**Jeff:** Because he ends up being, he's alone, you know, he's expendable

**Mark:** He's like, (as Graham) "Hedy, we can help you." And she's like, (cat yowl)

**Jeff:** You've got the cat

**Michael:** And she's got the cat all over him

**Mark:** Exactly

**Nay:** Just the cat in that scene

**Michael and Mark:** in the bathtub?

**Nay:** With the cat

**Jeff:** I know.

**Nay:** Oh my God

**Jeff:** But at least better than the dog scene. Ugh. You know that one

**Nay:** I have a question for each and every one of you. At what point would you have kicked Hedy out?

**Jeff and Michael:** That's a good question

**Nay:** 'Cause for me, it's when she comes for the interview and Allie's like, "Can we do this later?" And (Hedy's) like, "Sit down." Bitch, get the fuck outta my house. Like that's the end right now. Do not try to make me tea. You walking over to my sink and making a damn mess 'cause you don't know what's, this isn't your house and now you wanna come in and fix it and act like a plumber and I'm supposed to be impressed. None of this would have fucking happened if you just left when I asked you to

**Jeff:** That's true

**Nay:** But for y'all, when would you have kicked Hedy out?

**Mark:** I think the moment that I'm just like, the moment where I'm especially sort of confused as to why characters are not communicating is that, at a certain point when Sam is taken back in by Allie, despite his infidelity. After Buddy dies, Jennifer Jason Leigh is, I mean, she goes for broke and this-- I feel like this movie, we're talking about this movie today, because of Jennifer Jason Leigh. No disrespect to Bridget Fonda or Barbet Schroeder, but she's amazing in this movie and she just *goes* for it. No vanity whatsoever, she's fantastic.

**Jeff:** She won an--

**Mark:** There's a scene where she has a mustache, topless staring into space and I was like, "Goddammit I love you."

**Nay:** Okay?

**Jeff:** She won an MTV Movie Award for villainess on this one

**Michael:** Yeah! Exactly

**Mark:** I mean that's (something)

**Jeff:** She did not come to accept it, I remembered

**Michael:** She's a great actor

**Jeff:** But she's fantastic in this movie

**Mark:** So, after the scene when Buddy's dead and (Hedy's) just like, trying to jump on Sam's dick so hard, and she's like, (as Hedy) (moaning orgasmically)

**Michael:** He like shuts the door in her face

**Mark:** He's shutting the door on her arm and she's like touching...

**Nay:** On her hand, ugh

**Jeff:** Creepy scene

**Mark:** And she's just like, "I want that Sam dick!" She wants it so bad. And I'm just like, why is Sam not going over to see Allie or see her the next day when she wakes up and she's like-- He should be like, "Your roommate..."

**Michael:** (as Sam) "This is what your roommate did."

**Nay:** (as Sam) "I kind of liked it."

**Michael:** Yeah, like it's an option for him

**Nay:** "Oh, attention."

**Michael:** Like he's filing her away for later

**Mark:** I wish then that those, um, those kind of subtleties had been woven in better

**Michael:** Yeah. 'Cause they're so glaring and like, lacking

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** Mine would have been when she's lying in bed holding the dog going, "Where the hell have you been?"

**Mark:** Oh right right right

**Nay:** Okay?

**Michael:** "Bitch get the hell out of my bed. Put the dog down."

**Nay:** "First of all, when did you think we got so close?" Do you know everything I read about this movie kept talking about how they bonded and their relationship--

**Michael:** They never did

**Nay:** I just, yeah, I didn't feel like they had that strong a connection

**Mark:** (sarcastically) Um, Nay they were carrying a table and they were trying to bring it through the door and everything fell off, okay?

**Nay:** That pissed me off

**Jeff:** They watched a movie together, too, remember?

**Mark:** They *did* watch a movie together

**Nay:** It's kind of like, "You found a lamp down in the trash and I'm gonna paint it." I actually as a young person...

**Mark:** "Wow, you found a fucking tray, you clean the tray, Hedy."

**Michael:** It was even earlier when she brought a dog home.

**Mark:** Oh yeah

**Nay:** I do remember when I was younger, I like--

**Jeff:** "Here's some earrings."

**Nay:** Okay? Not enough

**Jeff:** "I want that perfume, it smells good. Oh, here's some earrings. We're bonded." That's how people bond

**Nay:** No. Hate it. I remember being young and when I like, idealized an apartment, I remember wanting a mattress on the floor, which literally is the bane of my adult existence. Like if I can have a mattress not on the floor as an adult-- but as a kid I was like, "I want a mattress on the floor and I want to paint a lamp." I really was like, "That's what grown girls do."

**Mark:** You'd be like, "I made it!"

**Michael:** I kept saying that last night, too. Why is her furniture so close to the ground?

**Mark:** Right

**Michael:** Like she's supposed to be this successful designer, and she's got like random chairs in her bedroom that are all really low to the ground. It's New York, I guess?

**Mark:** I wanna talk about, I wanna talk about how Allie Jones designed the fashion software that Cher Horowitz uses in *Clueless*. Do *Single White Female* and *Clueless* occupy the same--

**Michael:** Cinematic universe?

**Mark:** Yes they do

**Michael:** Absolutely

**Mark:** Also, Amy Heckerling directed Jennifer Jason Leigh in *Fast Times at Ridgemont High*, what the fuck? It's all connected

**Jeff:** Oh my

**Michael:** It's all connected

**Mark:** I've had too much sugar

**Michael:** Is this movie the earliest use of the internet by a regular human?

**Mark:** Oh my God. I love early nineties internet

**Michael:** You know, as opposed to like the military or somebody using it in one way or another, 'cause like, did the internet, the internet existed in 1992 apparently, huh? Like she was buying plane tickets

**Jeff:** You're right, she was

**Mark:** But it was before-- it was obviously before American Online

Jeff: Yeah, it was before--

**Michael:** It was CompuServe, I think is what it said? Girlfriend was calling 911 on her computer like Sidney Prescott

**Mark:** True. I love that she was like, "We can use one of Graham's cards to buy plane tickets." And I was like, "Wow, that's a wild west for you."

**Michael:** Yeah, right?

**Nay:** Oh my God

**Michael:** There's so much in this movie to unpack

**Mark:** The other thing is, (Allie) could've had Betty Finn as a roommate. Betty Finn from *Heathers*

**Michael:** Oh yeah

**Mark:** She's the perfect roommate who's like, "Gosh, my favorite movie is *It's a Wonderful Life* and I'm just so sweet and adorable."

**Michael:** What was she saying that was super bizarre, though? Wasn't she being a little weird?

**Nay:** *Yeah!* She was too perfect. She was like a robot. Did you see her hand placement over her bag?

**Michael:** She was a Stepford hag?

**Jeff:** (as Betty Finn) "I think this can work out. And if you think so, let me know."

**Nay:** (as Betty Finn) "And if you think so, hit me up." (normal voice) It was so creepy.

**Jeff:** Yeah it was

**Nay:** You know the dyke that comes and looks at it and is like, (deep voice) "Yeah. We can open this up!" (normal voice) Oh my God, I was dying! But on IMDb...

**Mark:** (deep voice) "Are you good with tools?"

**Nay:** (deep voice) "Are you good with tools?"

**Michael:** (deep voice) "We can knock this wall down."

**Nay:** On IMDb, her title is like, "Mannish roommate"

**Michael:** No way!

**Nay:** Yes!

**Mark:** Wow

**Jeff:** Oh, wow. That's awful

**Nay:** It's like, "Talkative roommate" and "Exotic roommate"

**Michael:** They couldn't have just been like, "Karen"

**Nay:** They said "Mannish"

**Jeff:** "Mannish roommate."

**Nay:** "Mannish." Yeah

**Michael:** "Debbie"

**Jeff:** That's too funny. I did not...

**Nay:** But I was thinking that every single person that came and interviewed, I was like these are just different archetypal lesbians, all of them

**Michael:** Oh my God, yes!

**Jeff:** The lipstick one came in too, she was looking at the furniture like, "Mmmm."

**Nay:** Oh my God, yes!

**Mark:** What was that? You could have easily cut that moment. But also she was literally the only person that was *remotely* non-white in this entire movie

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** She walks through the apartment and I feel like Allison is like, "Don't steal anything." Like, she doesn't even get a line!

**Nay:** No

**Mark:** She just sort of slinks around like, "Mmmmm. I like it."

**Jeff:** I took it as that she was like some sort of model type of girl that was like, "This place? Ew." And that Bridget Fonda was like, "Okay, don't give me attitude," you know, whatever

**Mark:** I guess

**Nay:** "I just mind your outfit."

**Michael:** "On my Cher Horowitz computer"

**Mark:** My favorite thing about watching her use that software was that every time she started using the software I was like, "Oh there's a regular-- oh, you're gonna make that plat-- oh Jesus! Oh God, oh God!" She would make them hideous and be like, "All done!"

**Michael:** "This is the really ugly one. Love it?"

**Michael:** Speaking of the software, I was a little confused at the end with everything being deleted. Was that a real thing (Allison) had written in or was that Hedy?

**Jeff:** No no no, she put that in, 'cause it was a software thing

**Michael:** Great timing

**Jeff:** Yes, exactly

**Mark:** That's movie software

**Jeff:** Movie coincidences, yes

**Michael:** Movie coincidence timing with Stephen Tobolowsky

**Mark:** Oh my God

**Jeff:** Who's such a lech in the movie

**Nay:** Ew!

**Mark:** And gross!

**Jeff:** He's so good!

**Michael:** I know. And I'm so used to him on--

**Mark:** *One Day at a Time*

**Michael:** *One Day at a Time*, *Groundhog Day*, just being super sweet. I love *One Day at a Time*, by the way

**Mark:** Imagine having Ned Ryerson, like, putting his hand in your shirt. Oh, God

**Michael:** I know

**Mark:** (groan of disgust)

**Michael:** Just so clammy

**Jeff:** Of course we have to talk about, we have to talk about...

**Michael:** Go there

**Jeff:** The Steven Weber scene and the like--

**Michael:** The blowjob?

**Jeff:** Yeah! Let's go there. Yes, c'mon!

**Nay:** Yeah, what do you wanna talk about?

**Jeff:** I dunno. We just need to talk about it

**Mark:** (haughtily) We're listening, Jeff

**Jeff:** I remember seeing it; I mean I remember seeing it in the theater and that scene came on and I was like, "What is she-- she did that really fast," and it looked like she was biting him. I was like, "Wait, wait, wait..."

**Michael:** Yeah. I think that it was like business trip, he hadn't cum in awhile

**Jeff:** Yeah, I know. I was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa."

**Mark: *Talent***

**Jeff**: I was like, "Okay."

**Michael:** Can you imagine psycho blowjobs?

**Nay:** Yeah. Probably bomb. Probably bomb. Absolutely. You know when I was younger and I watched it, I would, I was like, "How could--" First of all, it took me like a million years to understand what an orgasm was, but I remember when I was younger thinking like, "You knew it wasn't her before the end of that."

**Jeff:** Right

**Michael:** Yeah, he was trying to push her off, but he was--

**Nay:** "How did you finish?"

**Michael:** Climax?

**Nay:** And then I was like, I'm older watching it and I'm like, "You were pretty close. Like kind of like a sled on the edge of the hill."

**Jeff:** Enough for her to lift her head and say, "No, I'm not Allie," and then she went for the count. But still, it was a little aggressive, a little-- I remember the theater at the time, everyone was like, "(gasp) Oh! Oh oh *oh*!"

**Michael:** Well, he knew because the head was too good

**Nay:** Yeah, he was like, (as Steven Weber) "Allie?"

**Mark:** (as Steven Weber) "Well, somebody stepped up their game."

**Nay:** You know what, that happens sometimes. You break up with somebody, they sleep with a few other people and then you get back with them--

**Mark:** You're like, "Whatchoo been up to?"

**Nay:** Or you like hook up with them again

**Michael:** "Did you take a class?"

**Nay:** I'm like, oh my God, that totally happened to me with somebody and I was like, "Oh, you are an *amazing* kisser now. Who taught you, 'cause I'ma give her something!" Like, I'm like, I really feel so grateful for these people you hooked up with

**Mark:** You wanna be like, (jauntily) "Tip of the hat!"

**Nay:** Yeah! Honestly

**Michael:** 'Do you think she likes Honey Baked hams?'

**Nay:** Right? Okay?

**Mark:** Edible Arrangements

**Jeff:** But going back to Jennifer Jason Leigh's performance, I love that she's like, takes a strawberry or whatever in the champagne and she's like--

**Michael:** Iced tea

**Jeff:** And he's sitting here mortified, and she's like-- it's such a...

**Michael:** Well, the thing I've always-- the whole movie I'm like, "She's six inches shorter!"

**Jeff:** Oh yeah, that's true

**Michael:** "Just look at her! It's not her!"

**Mark:** No, yeah. That scene where she pushes Allie to a mirror and she's like, (nerdy voice) "Look at you and look at me!" (normal voice) She's literally...

**Michael:** She's like Gollum?

**Mark:** She's two full feet shorter!

**Michael:** Jennifer Jason Leigh is so cute!

**Mark:** Oh my God!

**Jeff:** Well, first they put her in dowdy hair, made her look frumpy

**Michael:** Amish-looking

**Mark:** Jennifer Jason Leigh in *Hudsucker Proxy* or even *Fast Times at Ridgemont High*, she's beautiful

**Jeff:** Totally

**Michael:** She's a babe

**Mark:** But she's also a character actress and you *know* she was just like, "Give me a fucking mustache." You *kno*w she was like, "I wanna wear brown. Only brown!"

**Nay:** Or maybe she had one and finally didn't wax it

**Michael:** Oooh, that's a good point

**Nay:** Yeah she had one, she finally didn't wax it for this role. They were like, "You know what? Hope you didn't get laser because we need that to come back. You need to see the mustache."

**Michael:** We can only see it because of the HD

**Nay:** Real

**Michael:** Let's discuss more of the *Psycho* of it all

**Mark:** Okay, do you wanna hear my--

**Nay:** Yes

**Mark:** So, by the time-- and this never occurred to me the first time I saw it, you know, because like you said, *Candyman* and *Single White Female* came out in the same year

**Nay:** Oh my God. I can't wait to hear this

**Mark:** But this time around, by the time JJL has that hook--

**Nay:** Oh!

**Mark:** And is running around the apartment building? I was like, "This is *Candyman*, but only about white girls who kissed each other at camp that one time." It's just, you have an apartment building, and somebody with a hook...

**Michael:** Oh yeah

**Mark:** And a desperately twisted quasi-romantic relationship? Anyway… I think we can all agree this movie's superior to *Candyman*. (beat) No, it's not

**Michael:** Looking back to (Nay's) question about kicking (Hedy) out, I'm thinking of all these different times (Allie) should have kicked her out. The haircut? Come on! When you get the faux Chucky, like...

**Mark:** The haircut

**Nay:** I dunno if y'all have ever had people copy you to that degree?

**Michael:** Extreme? I don't think so

**Mark:** No

**Nay:** It has happened a couple times in my life and it's so unnerving. I get, I'm nauseated, I wanna throw up.

**Michael:** Yeah, I can imagine

**Nay:** And it just would have been over so fast

**Michael:** Well, honestly looking back on it, too, like walking into my apartment without knocking? Bye. And I'm sitting on the floor crying?

**Nay:** Honestly try to move a table through a door with me and your depth perception is so bad that you thought you could walk through this doorway and then you knock my shit off and you're laughing. No.

**Mark:** When you talk about the copying aspect

**Nay:** Yes

**Mark:** When you talk about the copying aspect; this goes back to like, when I complained about Sam not telling Allie about Hedy being thirsty as fuck

**Michael:** Yeah, like super-thirst?

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** This is where, there's a good movie in here and there's elegant sequences; in love the lighting, I love the music, I certainly love Jennifer Jason Leigh's performance

**Michael:** The locations are great

**Mark:** But for example, it would have been interesting to see how, and Allie is a thoroughly unattractive character to me--

**Michael:** Oh she's so annoying

**Mark:** In a lot of ways

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** But it would have been interesting, like, to go, "This person just got my haircut." (as Hedy) "I thought you'd like it."

**Michael:** (as Hedy) "It's a surprise!"

**Mark:** And she's like, (as Allie) "Well, I guess. Whatever." And I'm like, it might have been interesting to see well, is there a way to sell the idea that on some twisted level, Allie is actually intrigued by this. And somehow she's both attracted and repelled by this kind of behavior

**Nay:** Totally

**Michael:** Right. She wants to see how far it would go, maybe, possibly?

**Mark:** Yeah

**Nay:** (as Allie) "Imitation is flattery."

**Michael:** (as Allie) "Bitch wants to be me."

**Jeff:** See, I just like the fact that at the time this movie came out, this was-- let's face it, *Fatal Attraction* was a big hit in the late eighties, then *Misery* was a big hit then *Hand That Rocks the Cradle* was a big hit--

**Michael:** *Sleeping With the Enemy*

**Mark:** It was always about the "blank from hell"

**Jeff:** Those "blank from hell" thrillers were going on at this time; so by the time *Single White Female* came out, all the things you just mentioned would have been the like, almost like… independent cool things to do

**Mark:** We were *not* there

**Jeff:** We were like, "We wanna see how all the crazy things the roommate is gonna do, all the psycho things, because we'd been primed from all these other movies, and hopefully, cathartically at the end see her get it, because that's usually what happens to the villains of these movies." So they did sort of a-- it's funny because the movie is kind of classy up until the point when the dog goes, and then the haircuts happen and I remember in the theater, the audience *kind of* laughing and kind of like, at this point it was sort of a ride to see how it was going to, how far it was going to go. The catfight in the elevator is *super* over the top

**Michael:** Oh my God, I love it

**Nay:** Oh my God

**Jeff:** Like banging around, like they'd have bruises, there's a broken neck, all this kind of stuff. Nope, they just get up like, you know Tom & Jerry down in the basement

**Mark:** They are totally Tom & Jerry

**Michael:** I love that you could see it going down. I thought those were great touches

**Mark:** My favorite part, my *favorite* part is that Allie's the type of person who slides down the wall and cries, over Sam the--

**Michael:** Sam the wall slide?

**Mark:** My favorite picture's Sam hanging on a fence like, "What are you doing?"

**Nay:** It be like that though

**Michael:** Is Sam in a ball field?

**Mark:** But by the end of the movie, we're supposed to believe she's gone full Vietnam tunnel rat. She's like, "I'm up in the vents!" She's ceiling cat, like up there

**Nay:** She ain't got it in her

**Jeff:** Kicking off rats

**Mark:** Yeah, kicking off rats

**Michael:** Stabbing her

**Mark:** She's going through hanging down like Batman, stabbing her in the back. I'm just like, *really*.

**Nay:** That's a really good point

**Jeff:** It doesn't add up

**Mark:** Really, Allie?

**Michael:** And Hedy all of a sudden just becomes super dumb. (as Hedy) "I'm gonna leave you here for an hour while I go cash a check."

**Jeff:** (as Hedy) "I'm gonna leave you here for an hour *with* the remote where you can turn up the volume."

**Michael:** What was (Hedy's) plan with her?

**Jeff:** That's like the easiest, like yeah

**Michael:** But what was her plan with her,  that's the thing I've never understood while watching this movie. What was she going to do with Allie when she came back?

**Mark:** They were gonna, they were gonna fly somewhere

**Jeff:** Yeah, she was in love with her but there was like this sister angle

**Michael:** Right, right

**Jeff:** So they played like, "You're my twin sister." But then they were like, "I'm a lesbian..."

**Michael:** "I'm obsessed."

**Jeff:** "But I'm obsessed, but then I'm crazy." They played a whole lot of like, they tried to sort of *flirt* with the idea

**Nay:** Ooof. Allie and Headache

**Jeff:** Allie and Headache?

**Nay:** Hedy the Headache

**Michael:** Were those twins the two piss selling twins in *Problem Child 2?*

**Nay:** Yes

**Jeff:** Wait, were they? Oh my God, I know the movie very much--

**Michael:** Weren't they?

**Jeff:** I think you're right!

**Mark:** (nerdy voice) Another shared universe!

**Jeff:** No! That would be *Problem Child 2*, by the way

**Michael:** Yes. That's them, right?

**Brennan:** This is the second time you've brought up *Problem Child 2*. Like how is this--?

**Jeff:** Because it's awesome

**Michael:** But I mean this is a direct-- those were the twins from *Problem Child 2*

**Jeff:** I'm pretty sure it was

**Michael:** How did we bring it up last time?

**Nay:** The haircut?

**Michael:** We were talking about *Problem Child* and I really loved it

**Mark:** All I remember is the vomit tilt-a-whirl thing

**Brennan:** I haven't seen either of these

**Jeff:** Oh yes. One of the grossest, bestest scenes

**Mark:** Truly one of the most repulsive moments I've ever seen

**Michael:** *Problem Child* 2 was so great

**Jeff:** It was

**Brennan:** So should I start with *2* and work backwards, like what's going on?

**Jeff:** No, go to *1* and *2*

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** Yeah, they're both great

**Jeff:** He's such a little dick, it's awesome

**Mark:** Yeah. Truly

**Michael:** And that little shit girl, too, is such a great addition, I love it

**Jeff:** Oh my God, it's just so awesome

**Nay:** We did, we *do* love that movie

**Michael:** Oh it's so great!

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** That's a horror movie.

**Nay:** Mmm-hmm

**Michael:** Having little fuckers like that running around your house? Let's watch those for the show

**Mark:** Did anybody have any random favorite bits from the movie?

**Nay:** That silver coat

**Jeff:** Ah, that's an awesome coat

**Nay:** Right?

**Jeff:** Well, the high heeled shoe, I mean, come on, that scene

**Michael:** That's pretty great. I kept being like, "That's some sharp high heel."

**Mark:** Anyone else?

**Nay:** (enunciating) Stiletto

**Jeff:** You wanted me to say this, so I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna confess this, I said this, I think on *Shock Waves* very briefly, I'm gonna say it more loud and proud here. So I was obsessed with this movie when it came out. Like I saw it in the theater three times, I actually have the book. I didn't read it, but I did buy it. 'Cause I was going through all the roommate stuff, plus I *loved* *Hand That Rocks the Cradle* and all those *Fatal Attraction* movies. So, for Halloween that year, I dressed up as Jennifer Jason Leigh from *Single White Female.* I do have the picture to prove it, that is the one thing--

**Michael:** Which version of her?

**Jeff:** The haircut version, the Chucky version. So I had my hair in a orange mop kind of Chucky thing, I had sort of this black dress on, I had these horrible shoes. I had a hook, I had a high heel shoe and I took the poster treatment "Single White Female" and copied it and put it right on my breasts, and put falsies in. And went up and down Santa Monica Boulevard, going up to people and going, "Will you be my roommate?" And people were dying laughing

**Mark:** (as Jeff) "And I made two hundred dollars."

**Jeff:** Right. And it was very, it was topical, because the movie had come out just a few months before and it worked and so that is my *Single White Female* story

**Mark:** Please, please, please, please, please dig up a picture of that

**Jeff:** I really don't have it.

**Michael:** Someone's got it somewhere

**Jeff:** I have a picture of me as Olivia Newton John in *Xanadu* from the year before...

**Nay:** Wow

**Jeff:** I'm scaring you guys right now

**Nay:** You that bitch!

**Jeff:** I don't care

**Nay:** That's not a game

**Jeff:** Actually the following year I did do, it wasn't as popular but it was fun to do. Lara Flynn Boyle in *The Temp*

**Mark:** Ahhhhh!

**Jeff:** I had the Paramount logo--

**Mark:** Ahhhhh!

**Jeff:** The head's in a bun, I had everything

**Mark:** Ahhhhh!

**Jeff:** And that was--

**Nay:** Ooooh, Mark

**Michael:** Mark

**Mark: *God, I love that movie!***  It's so insane!

**Jeff:** Well, it's Faye Dunaway and chewy almond cookies and...

**Mark:** It's insane!

**Michael:** Get Mark a Sybian

**Jeff:** It's awful

**Nay:** (to Michael) You love to bring up the Sybian every single episode

**Mark:** He sure does

**Jeff:** What is...

**Mark:** I know

**Nay:** I wish I could afford a Sybian

**Michael:** Could you imagine?

**Mark**: Who would care to explain the Sybian?

**Nay:** Ah, I mean, it speaks for itself.

**Michael:** It's a fun buzzy chair

**Mark:** (fey voice) It's probably easier if we just show you a picture.

**Nay:** It is a sex toy

**Jeff:** Oh, okay. All right. Mmm, I'm well-versed on some levels, but not--

**Nay:** You can mount it

**Michael:** You can take a full seat

**Nay:** Yeah, full seat

**Mark:** Okay, I'm gonna use the discussion of the Sybian as a means of transitioning to one of my-- okay, well I, I have *two* favorite favorite moments in this movie.

**Nay:** Okay. I hope you're bringing up the one that I think you are

**Mark:** I probably am. The first one is not that. Which, it's very short, but it's at the beginning when Allie comes home after she kicks Sam out and she looks at the bed and she, (as Allie) (cries)

**Jeff:** I love that!

**Nay:** When she's tearing it up?

**Mark:** I wanna cry when *I* strip the bed and make up the bed...

**Michael:** I hate making the bed

**Mark:** 'Cause it's the worst, so I was like, i feel her

**Jeff:** That is such a great scene

**Mark:** The only moment that I actually like Allie in the movie

**Michael:** I was *obsessed* with that they kept switching sleeping sides.

**Nay:** I was like, "Doesn't it suck how low your bed is?"

**Mark:** Yeah, I was like, "You're not a real couple." If Josh tries to sleep on my side of the bed, I'm like, "What are you doing? What, what are you, what is this? What is this witchcraft?"

**Nay:** "This is not real."

**Michael:** "End of the world in here."

**Mark:** Yeah, no no no. Okay, but my *favorite* part is the world's most confusing sex club

**Jeff:** Oh my *God*, *yes*!

**Michael:** Yeah, what the fuck?

**Mark:** So, okay. First of all, Enigma plays, because of course. And it's just like...

**Jeff:** Early nineties

**Mark:** Allie's going down the stairs it's like, (attempt at Gregorgian chanting). And then and then she's looking around and she looks confused and I fuckin' understand why she's confused, because she's looking around trying to detect some kind of fuckin' theme and there's no theme here.

**Jeff:** No, no

**Mark:** There's just like, back-up dancers in cages, who are like whatever. And then my favorite part is when I was like, 'Is that Arianna Huffington?' Who like reaches out to her, and she's just like, (as "Arianna") "I want to touch you," or something?

**Michael:** What was going on?

**Jeff:** She's like, "Do you wanna play?" "No thanks."

**Mark:** Thank you! (as "Arianna") "Do you *wanna **play***?"

**Michael:** (as "Arianna") "That haircut."

**Mark:** And I'm like, play what? What happens here? What are you people doing here?

**Michael:** (as "Arianna") "Can I use your head to clean my toes?"

**Mark:** Yeah, it's like, I love it. It was like big studio early Nineties idea of a sex club

**Jeff:** Yeah

**Mark:** At least just show *something* happening

**Michael:** It kind of goes along-- It's actually on the same street as the bar from *Nightmare 2*

**Mark:** Yes. Don's Place is right next door. Oh, Don's Place.

**Mark:** But yeah. (as "Arianna") "Do you want to play?"

**Nay:** (as "Arianna") "Do you want to play?"

**Jeff:** (as Allie) "No thanks."

**Jeff:** And then as she turns around the corner, "Allie!" And she's watching Jennifer Jason Leigh pretending to be her or her sister or something

**Michael:** Right. How long was she pretending to be Allie at this bar that they all know her by name already?

**Nay:** Right

**Michael:** It's so confusing

**Jeff:** It's so weird. And some guy's like fondling her foot

**Michael:** "You look like my sister's boyfriend."

**Mark:** Yeah, "You look like my sister's boyfriend" is like--

**Michael:** Every other guy in the movie looks like Steven Weber

**Mark:** And Allie runs out of there going like, (as Allie) "She's been pretending to be me at this bar that I don't understand. At all."

**Jeff:** One scene that really stands out, that made the audience uncomfortable, but again, it was vogue for the time in the early nineties is the scene where Allie wakes up in the middle of the night, she hears all this heavy breathing, she goes in--

**Michael:** *Yes!*

**Jeff:** (as Allie) "Oh! There's Jennifer Jason Leigh masturbating!" And the dog goes, "Rrrrf?" She runs to her room

**Mark:** But my favorite part is then like, Jennifer Jason Leigh then goes into Allie's room as she's like, (as Hedy) "Do y'all wanna masturbate?"

**Michael:** Right. (as Hedy) "Anyone up for one? Up for a dij sesh?"

**Nay:** All of that was bold. All of it. Her masturbating with the door open, her loud...

**Mark:** Yeah! Open!

**Nay:** Allie leaving the dog out like, (as Allie) "Oh, Imma just like pretend the dog--"

**Michael:** Masturbation form, too

**Jeff:** She's like riding her bed, it was very odd

**Nay:** As a child, I was inspired. I was like, I really--

**Michael:** No masturbation shame here. No.

**Nay:** Yeah. I mean as a kid I thought it was a sin, and so I was like, "That… I *wish* to be so bold."

**Mark:** Yeah

**Nay:** "I'm just trying not to do it so I don't go to hell, but she's just out here." Yeah

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** And even Buddy's the only one who's like, "Rrrf? Rrrrf rrrrf rrrrrf."

**Nay:** Okay? And also *so* unrealistic. Dogs love to watch people masturbate

**Michael:** Absolutely

**Mark:** They sure do

**Nay:** He would've stayed

**Michael:** He's like, "Get it, girl."

**Nay:** He's like, "Imma die tomorrow anyway."

**Michael:** Awww, poor Buddy!

**Mark:** Did you guys know that it's in Jennifer Jason Leigh's contract that she has to kill a dog in every movie? (beat) That's not true

**Nay:** Goddammit, Mark

**Mark:** But sometimes it feels like it

**Nay:** That was awful

**Michael:** Why did she leave the dog out in the like-- The dog sleeps in your room every night with the door shut. What did it do, burrow under?

**Jeff:** No, she pushed it under

**Mark:** She pushes it out the window

**Michael:** No, I'm talking about after she catches her masturbating, Allie goes into her room and shuts the door

**Nay:** It was a bad lamp. She was fumbling, she was fumbling.

**Michael:** I'm like, "Bring the dog with you."

**Nay:** She was like, "Oh wait, she heard the dog so I'm just (inaudible) out here."

**Michael:** Thank God she was sleeping facing the window that night (inaudible) in her bed

**Jeff:** But I love it when Jennifer Jason Leigh goes in, she sees her, it's clear that (Allie's) heavy breathing, like she hasn't been sleeping, it's like...

**Michael:** She got her stuff all over the dog

**Nay:** Ugh! Right? She just picked the dog up

**Michael:** Yeah! Go Purell first

**Mark:** Wow. Oh my God. "Boom boom boom! My hands, hands on everything."

**Michael:** (as Hedy) "Allie, I'm just gonna borrow everything on your dresser."

**Jeff:** Speaking of gross scenes, after (Hedy) bludgeons Graham upstairs and she's taking a shower and Allie looks over and there's the bloody dress and she's like, "I always get mine when the (inaudible)"

**Mark:** "Mine always comes with a belt."

**Michael:** Yeah, like did you have twelve at once?

**Nay:** Okay, my thought? "How dare you walk the fuck out of this bathroom, though, and leave that shit in the sink?" This is the only bathroom. Literally in my head I was like, "Wait. Do they have two bathrooms? No, it's one bathroom."

**Michael:** Isn't she wearing Allie's dress?

**Mark:** I know

**Jeff:** Yes

**Nay:** "You've probably been having a period for twenty-some years. You, we don't have to do this."

**Mark:** You kind of want Allie to be like, "You know I brush my teeth in this sink, right?"

**Nay:** *Hello*! Like, "It's fine. Do you mind?"

**Michael:** Shower with the dress on

**Jeff:** Yeah. It's pretty gross

**Nay:** Like honestly. There are so many ways...

**Michael:** (as Allie) "Do we need to get you like, heavy flow tampons?" Like, what is going on?

**Jeff:** Exactly

**Nay:** Roommate drama

**Jeff:** But it's true, it's kind of a like, "Oh, okay. Ew. Do you want some tea? It's chamomile," or whatever it is

**Nay:** "Do you need some Midol?" Like, honestly, don't ever walk out of the bathroom and leave it in that state

**Jeff:** Yeah

**Michael:** Yeah

**Nay:** A sink. Full.

**Michael:** Another reason to kick her out

**Nay:** You gotta go. You gotta go. "Oh, it always co-? You should know better by now. And I don't ever want to walk in here and see a bloody sink because you thought this was a soapy tub."

**Michael:** "With my dress in it."

**Jeff:** "My dress." Right

**Nay:** *Okay*? "My dress. Not only did you bleed on my dress, you fuckin' up my bathroom. Get the fuck out of here."

**Jeff:** "After I already saw you at a club pretending to be me."

**Nay:** *Yes*! Where is the line? When do we cross it? I don't understand!

**Mark:** Maybe "Arianna" tipped her off

**Nay:** Right. (as "Arianna") "Want to play?"

**Mark:** (as "Arianna") "Want to play?"

**Michael:** Like in the murder blood?

**Nay:** I would die if Arianna Huffington did that to me

**Mark:** Can you imagine?

**Nay:** (as Arianna) "Do you want to play?"

**Mark: *Yes***

**Nay:** I'd be like, "Hell yeah, rich bitch! Let's go!"

**Jeff:** I honestly don't think I could look at this movie again without referring to this podcast and all these little tidbits

**Nay:** Oh my God!

**Jeff:** Because you guys are pretty damn on point. It's pretty funny

## **Previous Episode**

Episode 14: "Frederica, Queen of the Desert" (w/ Katya and Sam Wineman!)

## **Next Episode**

Episode 16: "A Pity Party is My Favorite Party"