Cloud Strife VS Guts

**Cloud Strife VS Guts** is the seventh episode of DEATH BATTLE! But it's DBX, featuring Cloud Strife from the *Final Fantasy* series and Guts from the *Berserk* series in a battle between two of the most iconic swordsmen of gaming.

## Description

Big swords and angry personalities don't mix. Someone's gonna die!

## Interlude

(\*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston\*)

**Boomstick: They're two of the most iconic swordsmen in video game history, known for taking on things way out of their league. Cloud Strife, guardian of the lifestream. And Guts, the brutal black swordsman from Berserk. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick**

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

## Cloud Strife

(\*Cues: Final Fantasy VII - Mako Reactor\*)

Wiz: Cloud Strife, guardian of the Lifestream, is no ordinary swordsman.

**Boomstick: There's no way around it. He's a fucking super soldier, but damn, he's in desperate need of a haircut.**

Wiz: Impulsive and moody, Cloud strove to join the illustrious Shinra organization. Instead, he was forcefully exposed to Mako poisoning, a raw energy drained from the planet itself.

**Boomstick: And somehow it gave him all the memories of his dead buddy, Zack, including his First Class soldier training. Thanks, convenient planet poison.**

Wiz: That's not all Cloud inherited from his friend. His main weapon is Zack's Buster Sword, a colossal single-edged blade. With his strength, Cloud can swing this much faster than any normal human.

**Boomstick: Holy shit! Look at it! That's a man's sword right there!**

Wiz: The Buster Sword contains two slots for materia, condensed Mako that grants magical abilities. However, since their creation damages the planet, Cloud has limited his materia use.

**Boomstick: He typically carries the Firaga materia, which shoots fire at things. And in the second slot, we're giving Cloud his most iconic materia, Thundaga. This materia can shoot electricity and summon lightning bolts.**

(\*Cues: Final Fantasy VII - Bombing Mission\*)

Wiz: Cloud has an encyclopedia's worth of anger issues, which actually works to his advantage. He can channel his rage into extremely powerful Limit Break attacks.

**Boomstick: These emo-charged Limit Breaks range from paralyzing foes with Cross Slash to launching meteors from his sword. But his deadliest move is the Omnislash, a move so quick and powerful, it practically guarantees victory.**

Wiz: As he doesn't carry any other materia, Cloud obviously wears Ziedrich armor. While this magical band has zero materia slots, it grants the wearer an extraordinary amount of defense, and halves damage received from elemental, magical and physical effects.

**Boomstick: Also, Cloud wears a ribbon, which makes him immune to all status effects like burns and stuns. Well, I guess that makes it worth wearing a freakin' chick accessory.**

(\*Cues: Unknown Theme\*)

Wiz: Cloud is brash and aggressive, but not the brightest fighter. He often relies on overpowering opponents through sheer ferocity and brute strength.

**Boomstick: Like a badass! You don't need to think too hard when you're strong enough to cut through freakin' skyscrapers. Cloud's singlehandedly taken down quite a few powerhouses, like the giant Bahamut SIN, and planet-busting Sephiroth. He's even been completely impaled and shrugged it off like it was nothing. Multiple times! I mean, look at this shit!**

Wiz: It's impossible to deny, Cloud's superhuman abilities make him one of the deadliest swordsmen in video game history.

**Boomstick: Even if he looks like a girl.**

*Cloud witnessed and cries over Zack's death.*

## Guts

(\*Cues: Berserk - Et Voici Guts\*)

Wiz: In the realm of Midland, rumors run rampant of a man wielding a humongous blade slaying any that get in his way, but before his legend grew, this black swordsman was known simply as Guts.

**Boomstick: Oh ho, man, I'm so excited! Guts is one of the most badass and hardcore characters ever.**

*Guts shouts and swings a smaller sword, which shatters a ball and chain's ball.*

(\*Cues: Berserk - Boscorn 2\*)

Wiz: But the story of Guts is not for the faint of heart.

**Boomstick: Yeah, it's... kind of dark. You've been warned.**

Wiz: After a brutal massacre, Guts was born from the corpse of his mother, who had been hanged from a tree.

**Boomstick: And we're just getting started. Baby Guts was discovered by a traveling band of mercenaries and was adopted by the camp whore.**

Wiz: Who... died of the plague three years later. With no one left to turn to, Guts was mentored by the mercenary leader Gambino, who began training him in swordsmanship when he was just six years old.

*???: Hey Guts! Why don't you use a smaller sword? One right for your size?*

*Guts tries to attack Gambino, who then knees him.*

*Gambino: We don't carry any baby-sized swords for kids here anyway.*

(\*Cues: Unknown Theme\*)

Wiz: An extremely determined student of war, Guts was soon brought on to the battlefield and killed his first man at the age of nine.

**Boomstick: Despite his skill, life wasn't all murder sunshine and rainbows. Young Guts was constantly abused in many ways that I don't really want to go into. But these awful things he had to endure kickstarted the long and excruciating process of grooming Guts into the scariest man in the world.**

(\*Cues: Berserk - More Death and Silence 2\*)

Wiz: After killing his crazed adopted father in self-defense, Guts became a lone mercenary and a damn good one. Recognized for his skill, he was recruited by a mercenary group called the Band of the Hawk, Led by an ambitious man named Griffith.

(\*Cues: Unknown Theme\*)

Wiz: The Hawk's raiders would be Guts's first taste of comradery and friendship.

**Boomstick: Over the next three years, they single-handedly ended a one-hundred year war. Things were looking up for Guts, aaaand then Griffith summoned a horde of demons, transformed into a bat monster, and murdered all of Guts' friends, and claimed ownership of Guts' soul by branding his neck. If that wasn't dramatic enough, Griffith then raped Guts' girlfriend in the pool of his friends' blood as he watched, pinned down with his eye gouged out and forced to cut of his own arm.**

(\*Cues: Berserk - Monster\*)

Wiz: Definitely not his best day. After all that, Guts dedicated his entire life to murdering Griffith as painfully and brutally as possible. While fighting demons on a daily basis as they are drawn to his brand like moths to a flame.

(\*Cues: Berserk - Blood and Guts (Passionate)\*)

**Boomstick: But to do this, he needs the right tools for the job. He carries a belt of throwing knifes and a pouch of mini bombs even demons can't take.**

Wiz: He also received a new mechanical hand, which houses a flamethrower, repeater crossbow, and a hidden single shot cannon, perfect for blasting a demon's face off.

**Boomstick: Surprise, bitch!**

Wiz: But none of that compares to Guts' primary tool of destruction, the giant blade known as Dragonslayer.

(\*Cues: Berserk - Forces (God Hand Mix)\*)

*After a single slash, a table is covered in blood and half of a man screams as he falls to the ground.*

**Boomstick: Massive, thick, heavy, and far too rough, it's too big to be called a sword. More like a heap of raw iron. And it might just be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.**

Wiz: Forged by the legendary hermit Godo, Dragonslayer was made to... well... slay a dragon. Unfortunately, it was laughed off as impossible to use by anyone.

**Boomstick: Except for Guts!**

Wiz: Standing six and a half feet long and weighing over 400 pounds, the Dragonslayer is enormous. Though not unfeasible. In real life, the largest sword ever used in battle belonged to a Frisian freedom fighter and stood seven feet tall. Though it wasn't nearly as heavy, only 14 pounds.

**Boomstick: With a single swing of Dragonslayer, Guts can cleave through a man wearing heavy armor. Along with his weapon, his horse, and any other people, animals, or demons that happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.**

Wiz: And after killing over a thousand demons - no, I did not stutter - Dragonslayer has bathed in so much demonic blood that it now resides in both the physical and astral planes of existence... somehow. Meaning it is capable of harming any supernatural beings.

**Boomstick: Even ghooooosts.**

(\*Cues: Unknown Theme\*)

Wiz: Guts is an absolute monster in combat. He can move faster than the eye can track, killed one hundred soldiers on his own in a single night, and once jumped into the mouth of a giant sea god, cut his way through it, and killed it within.

Guts places his sword behind him.

*Zodd: You intend to gamble your life on a single strike?*

(\*Cues: Berserk - Des Cambrioleurs!\*)

**Boomstick: Guts will do ANYTHING to defeat his foes, including jumping into fire or allowing himself to be impaled just to gain an advantage. And... somehow he always survives. He's fallen hundreds of feet, gotten stabbed through the face, taken one thousand supernatural punches at once, and even been run over by an... elf, fairy Mothra going supersonic speeds.**

Wiz: But his disregard for his own safety can be costly. Honestly, the only reason he's still alive is sheer dumb luck and unstoppable willpower.

**Boomstick: And if Guts isn't tough enough on his own, he wears the Berserker Armor, the most insane battlegear you've ever seen.**

Wiz: Activating the Berserker Armor seals off the wearer's nervous system, making him immune to pain and its natural inhibitions. This allows Guts to fight at his fullest potential, boosting his power and speed at the risk of damaging his own body.

**Boomstick: With this armor, Guts' sword swing is more powerful than a cannonball, so the force can break his own arm. But don't worry: the cursed berserker armor will literally rip and pierce his body to pin the bones and muscles back in place.**

Wiz: Now don't get the wrong idea. The armor does not actually heal Guts; it just holds him together. This is dangerous because, well, even though Guts won't feel pain, that doesn't make him invincible.

**Boomstick: Plus, the berserker armor also kinda... forces Guts to give in to his inner demons and lose all sense of morality and restraint, making him the most violent demon-killer ever.**

Wiz: Violent, and completely uncontrollable.

**Boomstick: Guts is the embodiment of rage and the epitome of badassery. Believe me, the last thing you wanna do is get in this guy's way.**

*Guts approaches knights, who panic at his mere presence.*

*Guts: My sword has gotten very dull. However, it's three times as thick and does three times the damage of a normal sword. You'd better pray you die quickly or this could be painful.*

## Death Battle

**FIGHT!**

**KO!**

## Results

(\*Cues: Final Fantasy VII Remake Opening\*)

**Boomstick: Hell yeah! Now that's what I call a swordfight! While Cloud wields more power than Guts, this is what Guts does EVERY SINGLE DAY. He gets the shit kicked out of him trying to defeat gods and demons leagues above his abilities and still prevails.**

Wiz: It's true. All his-

**Boomstick: I mean THIS GUY lives in a world where giant monsters are trying to kill you, eat you, rape you, or all three at the same time! And that's just Monday.**

Wiz: ...it's true. All his life, Guts has had the odds stacked against him and yet he's still kicking while everything else is dead.

**Boomstick: "Ugh, but Wizard, I thought only Final Fantasy could destroy Buster Sword. Ergh..."**

Wiz: That's also true, in the Final Fantasy world. However, Inferno exists on an astral plane. If you recall, Guts' sword Dragonslayer also exists on such a plane, leaving no question that it could destroy Buster Sword. Plus, his Berserker Armor bought him plenty of time to land the killing blow.

**Boomstick: Yeah, because it will literally let you fight on until all of your bones are shattered and the last drop of your blood is spilled.**

Wiz: And it's not like Buster Sword was gonna have any luck tempting Guts into picking it up and turning into another Cloud. Not only has Guts dealt with enough demonic shit to know that's a bad idea, he REALLY loves that Dragonslayer. He's not giving that up for anything.

**Boomstick: Cloud was just a whole Berserk-owned**

Wiz: The winner is Cloud Strife.

## Video

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