Speech!

Speech! is the tenth chapter in the Wombles Seven.

Back in the sewers the Joker switched off the charging pod and David Vincent came out.  “Is it ready?” he asked the Joker.  The Joker’s face subtly changed from friendly to evil.  His grin grew bigger revealing his wicked looking teeth.  The Joker drew out a long knife and held it to Vincent’s throat.

The alarmed Vincent quickly took a crystalline object and held in front of his assailant’s face.  It started to revolve with colours flashing in the Joker’s eyes.  “Remove the knife and put it away safely” ordered Vincent. The Joker did as he was told. Next Vincent asked something he’d been itching to find out.  “Is it ready?”  “Yes Master!” the Joker said before wheeling in what looked like a radiation suit.

Vincent put it on and the Joker activated it.  “Now I don’t need to recharge!” said Vincent and headed off towards John’s Tearoom.  Seaboy was in there drinking hot salted water.  “You spoke to who?” he asked his brother.  “A couple of wizards, a spy, a womble and some people who I think were Avengers.” Replied John.  “Ironman? Black Widow?  Cap America?” asked Seaboy.  “No I’d remember silly names like that.” John replied.

Steed and Cathy were now driving in Steed’s Green Bentley (he had decided it was better than his more recent car), but they weren’t entirely sure where they were going.  “Where are we going?” asked Cathy.  Steed replied, “I remember when Tara asked me that before…” and then went into a long speech about the phrase “Where are we going?”  Cathy looked puzzled, and asked again, “Where are we going?”

Steed paused then answered, “Well, I don’t actually know.  We were supposed to be racing off to stop our enemies, but we don’t know where they are.”

“Aren’t Cadmus an American group?” asked Cathy.

“How do you know?” asked Steed.

“Clary said something about it.”

“Oh.  Are you suggesting we go to America?”

“Well, I think we should look there.”

“Might take a while.”

“Not at all.”

In the blink of an eye, the pair were standing in Area 51.

“What?!” said Steed.  “Why are we in Area 51?!”

“Whoops” said Cathy, then Steed blinked again and they were standing by a sign that said “Welcome to Star City”.

“Where are we?” asked Steed.

“America.” Replied Cathy, “I ran us here.”

“Oh.” Said Steed.  “Hang on, I know this place.  Home of Queen Industries.  If we could buy that company, we could tell the world about the danger of Cadmus.”

“But John we only have one thousand pounds between us.  We lost all our old money when we were on the run in Canada. Canada!”  Cathy ran away then came back in one second with Johnny the Horse.

“Backup.” Said Cathy.

“The money won’t be a problem.” Said Steed, ignoring Johnny.  “I can convince them to give the company to me. Maybe for free.”

“How?  By using a vice to shape the owner’s body like a peanut?” asked Cathy.

“No chick!  My bro’s got a trick up his sleeve and I think I know what it is!” cut in Johnny.

“Yes Johnny, that’s right.  Now let’s go, shall we?  Queen Industries is just around the corner!” said Steed, triumphant at the fact that he had managed to use the same words in both a literal and metaphorical way, then they walked toward the building with a large green “Q” on the side.

When they got there, Steed knocked on the door.  A blonde man with a large goatee opened it.  “Yes?” he asked.

“John Steed.” Said Steed, tipping his bowler.  “Are you Oliver Queen?”

“Yes, that’s me.” Replied the man.  “Can I help you?”

“I’d like to buy the company.”

“Sorry Mr Steed, but it’s not for sale.  You would have to make an offer that blows my mind.”

“Hopefully my speech will blow the board member’s minds, and the odds will be in my favour.”

“We’ll see about that.”  Oliver let Steed in while smirking at the fact that he knew, just knew, that Steed would lose out to him.  The same smirk was on Steed’s face for the opposite reasons.

“And who are you two?” Oliver asked when Cathy and Johnny were about to walk into the building.

“I’m Queen Lady Catherine Steed of England, and his wife.”  Replied Cathy.  “He’s the king of England.”

“Oh.” Replied Oliver, “And who are you?” he asked, looking at Johnny.

“I’m Prince Jonathan ‘Johnny the Horse’ Steed bro Queen!” he replied. “Mister King Lord Sir John Steed of England here’s brother!”

“Ah.” Said Oliver and let them all in.

During the board meeting, Oliver let Steed go first with his speech to convince the board to give the company to him.  He felt sure that his argument would win.  However, Steed felt the opposite way.

“My grandfather George Bond was the original owner of this company.  When he and my grandmother died, their son Andrew Bond was supposed to inherit it.  But my Uncle Andrew had quite a reputation- a bad one.  No-one in the family accepted that he should inherit the family business. And it came as no surprise to them when his son was the product of an affair.  Since it was refused for Uncle Andrew to be the company’s successor, there was no-one else to take it over.  That generation of my family was quite sexist, and my grandparents had left only one other offspring.  A woman, Jenny Bond.  Then, the solution came when Jenny Bond married James Steed.  James was an extremely successful businessman, so he was allowed to run the company and Bond Industries became Steed Industries.  At the time, James might have been the most popular man in Britain.  So popular, in fact, that Uncle Andrew named his illegitimate son after him, calling him James Bond.  When Jenny became pregnant with me, it was decided that I would inherit the company when I grew up, even though James Bond was the oldest living relative, meaning he should have legally inherited it.  But they just couldn’t have an illegitimate child as head of the family business.  It had to be ME.  Since James was treated in this way, like he was doing something wrong for existing, he decided *not* to exist.  He trained for years until he could join the MI6, and from now on there was only 007. As I grew up, although everyone else seemed to hate him, I wanted to be just like him.  I idolised him for his work as a spy, which is why I initially decided to train for MI12.  Back then, MI12 was commonly referred to as just ‘The Ministry’ , but nowadays you may know us as ‘The Avengers.’  Unfortunately, since I ended up working as a spy, I couldn’t take over the company, and there was no-one left in the family to inherit it.  So instead, it was bought by an American businessman named Robert Queen. Originally, he was going to move to England so that he could use the company building, but plans were changed and a new building was set up in America, while the original was refurbished and became the first MI12 headquarters.  When Robert and his wife Moira were killed by animals at a Safari Park and their son Oliver was still just a child, Walter Steele temporarily became the CEO until Oliver grew up.  Oliver still runs it to this day.  But as you know, he has a tendency not to show up at board meetings, and is late for nearly everything related to what you now know as Queen Industries. This company should be mine by family rights, and I believe I can maintain it better than Oliver Queen. So, with your vote, I’d like to take my rightful place as the head of what will once again be Steed Industries.”

Every member of the board started looking at each other and whispered things. Oliver looked very taken aback. One of the board members got up smiling, shook Steed’s hand and said, “We don’t have time for Mr Queen’s speech now, but congratulations, Mr Steed, you are now the proud owner of Steed Industries!”

“Thank you.” Answered Steed, then Cathy ran him back home to New Steed Manor.