Blue Bantha Milk Co.

> "His name is Sean, he talks about things-"
>
>

> "Oh *god*."
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>

> "-Sean talks about thiiiings"
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> - Blue Bantha Milk Co's intro and MauLer
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>

**Blue Bantha Milk Co**, real name **Sean** (he talks about things), is a YouTuber who made the last ever video about *The Last Jedi*.

## History

### PreFAP

Blue Bantha Milk Co originally made video essays and other content about *Star Wars*. They now seem to focus on satirical AI-created scripts of hypothetical *Star Wars* stories.

### *The Last Jedi is GREAT Star Wars and that is our final word*

> *"*Also, Mark Wahlberg did a hate crime in the eighties and no one really talks about it anymore"
>
>

> - Blue Bantha Milk Co, having a Quinton Moment
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MauLer, Rags, Metal, E;R, and ThatStarWarsGirl first encountered Blue Bantha Milk Co on EFAP 101, where they took a look at his video "The Last Jedi s GREAT Star Wars and that is our final word," to which MauLer expressed satisfaction that that meant they would not have to cover any more videos defending the film. Sean began his video by stating that he was sick of hearing complaints about the film and having to defend it, but decided he would make one last statement on the topic, then randomly interjected a clip of Finn shouting "Come on!" at Captain Phasma.

He stated that there are two things that get under his skin, the first being when people say a movie is "objectively bad," something that can't be possible since all art is by definition subjective, while the word objective means facts, to which Rags corrected that the word objective just means adhering to a standard without regard for one's emotions. Blue Bantha Milk went on to say that the only things that can be stated as fact are things like it's 91% critic score on RottenTomatoes, to which MauLer brought up that RottenTomatoes counts a 60 or above as Fresh, and that the audience score (which Metal brought up is based on over 200,000 reviews vs the critics' 450) was a 44, the lowest audience score for a *Star Wars* film. He also cited the box office earnings as a metric for success, prompting MauLer to just repeat the word "*Transformers*" in response. Anna brought up the clip of none other than Mark Hamill saying that a film making a lot of money isn't the same thing as it being good and Rags brought up that it made 700 million less than *The Force Awakens*, which would presumably be the benchmark. Bantha Milk concluded that though you cannot judge art objectively, if you could, *The Last Jedi* would be objectively good, but then invalidated his own point by saying that that is not actually how you judge movies, because even the worst movies ever made like *Manos: The Hands of Fate*, *Troll 2*, and *The Room* (How did he determine they were the worst?) have a following, and you can't say something is objectively bad because there is nothing that is disliked by everyone.

The second complaint that Blue Bantha Milk couldn't stand was that *The Last Jedi* is full of bad writing and is broken to the core, because bad writing is also subjective. He read out a passage from a cringe poem and deemed it bad (how does he know it's bad?) but stated that it still made lots of money. Metal shouted that that was literally the same complaint said a second time.

Bantha Milk then completely invalidated his previous points by saying there is such a thing as "objectively bad writing," as there are rules which can be bent and broken. He cited Tim Burton's *Planet of the Apes*, where Mark Wahlberg (whom he made a point to mention had committed a hate crime in the 80s) told an ape he would show him something that change his whole worldview, when Mark Wahlberg's character doesn't actually learn that thing until the end of the movie. Anna had seen the film, and corrected that while Wahlberg's character didn't know the truth that is revealed at the end of the film, what he thought was true (that he was visiting from an alien planet) would still be mind-blowing to the apes, and Rags pointed out that even if he had no idea what the truth was going to be, he could still believe that whatever it is would be shocking. MauLer pointed out that even if his example was wrong he at least was on the same page as them (despite believing that he wasn't) that a blatant contradiction would be objectively bad writing.

Bantha Milk also elaborated that a film can be broken in an "entertainment way," which MauLer and Rags pointed out was as subjective as it can get. He cited the Bond movie *A View to a Kill*, which he claimed was not entertaining because we are told the villain's plan before Bond, and have to spend the whole movie waiting until he catches up, meaning it doesn't work as a "well-written piece of fiction." Anna countered that that's the case for *Silence of the Lambs*, one of her favorite movies, and Metal added that that's the premise of every episode of *Columbo*.

Bantha Milk then proclaimed that Holdo not telling Poe the plan is not bad writing, and is in fact incredibly good writing, because good writing (contrasted against what he previously called "objectively bad writing") should trigger an emotional response from the viewer (which is literally the definition of subjective, with MauLer simply asking what if it didn't provoke that emotion in him), and stays with people afterwards and produces discussion - naturally, Rags related this argument to the Holocaust.

Bantha Milk stated that we sided with Poe because we love him, which MauLer found ironic since earlier in the episode they'd been reminded of a clip from one of E;R's videos where he asked why we were following Poe since we barely knew him. Rian Johnson cleverly switched out Leia for Holdo, who has the same dynamic with Poe but without the familiarity, leading us to distrust her like Poe does, and feel like an asshole when she turns out to be right like Poe does, to which the gang retorted that the reason they didn't trust her was that she was wrong, not that she was a stranger (Rags even pointing out later that sometimes you distrust people *because* you know them), and that they didn't feel like assholes and neither should Poe, since he was making the best decisions based off of the information he had, as a result of Holdo withholding valuable information. Bantha Milk argued that Holdo wasn't obligated to tell anyone anything, and the roster burst into laughter at how much his body language resembled a stereotypical liar when he said this, as if even he couldn't buy it. He concluded that this all helped Poe's growth, as his arc has him start by not following orders at the beginning (saving the entire fleet) at the cost of people's lives (to save the rest of the fleet), but learns from it (he learns to not sacrifice himself to save everyone else), He pointed out how this tied in with Luke's story, and was even stated out loud by Yoda, giving the movie a throughline, which *is* a sign of "good fucking writing" (objectively?).

Blue Bantha Milk Co concluded the real gripe people have with the film is not it being "objectively bad" or "bad writing" (which he put in air quotes even though he conceded that those are real things), it's that they can't handle a male character being talked down to by a female character (even though he said earlier we'd trust Leia) or an Asian American woman being a total badass, to which Anna jabbed that said Asian woman sexually harasses a black man. MauLer expressed nostalgia at this, since it had been a while since he had been told he was racist and sexist for thinking a *Star Wars* movie is bad, and it was nice to get back to basics. Bantha Milk left off by saying he is sick of trying to persuade idiots to like the movie (which is all subjective anyway).

## Trivia

* The man seems not to know what to do with his hands, waving and flinging them around like a madman. This may actually be an advanced form of the Pointing maneuver
* His two biggest pet peeves are when people say something is objectively bad, and when people say something is objectively bad. He does agree that things can be objectively bad though.
* He plans on watching *The Last Jedi* once a year every year until he dies
* He has a similar accent to Salad Fingers

## Quotes

* "However, there *is* such a thing as objectively bad writing"
"Ooh alright, that's contradictory to what you specifically said earlier, but-"
- Blue Bantha Milk Co and Rags
* "I like the creative decision to wear black in front of a black screen." - Rags, EFAP 101
* "And the facts are, it got *this* RottenTomatoes score-"
"[deep shudder]"
- Blue Bantha Milk Co and MauLer
* "'our final word' did no research on anti arguments" - Darth Mawrak in Chat
* "You do not know what to do with your hands"
"And he doesn't know what to do with his arguments"
- Rags and MauLer
* "Now, Admiral Holdo not telling Captain Poe Damaron her plan (wiggles his little fingers), that's not bad writing"
"OH MY GOD!"
- Blue Bantha Milk Co and ThatStarWarsGirl
* "Explain yourself, charlatan."
- Rags
* "He thinks he's King Shit of Fuck Mountain"
* "Subscribe" - Metal, reading the text onscreen
* "It took *two* editors to make this? What was the second person doing?" - Rags

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