Something to Sneeze At/Transcript

This is the full verbal transcript for the episode *Something to Sneeze At.*

## Script

*(The episode begins with a candid shot of the sun rising on Spellman House on a chilly autumn day. Zelda and Hilda are eating breakfast in their bathrobes, consisting of scrambled eggs, wheat toast with strawberry jam, sausage links and a mug of coffee, and forks in their right hands.)*

**Hilda:** Hey Zelly, did you hear that flu season is on the rise?

**Zelda:** Ugh, I hate that time of year. You know we witches can get plain old flu just like any non-magic person, but there's also the Gargoyle Flu that is so contagious, and even witchitis!

**Hilda:** Good thing Sabrina got a booster shot a week ago, and no getting scared this time! I just told her to not look at the needle, but at me instead, and Dr. DeFacto did his job.

*(Salem enters the kitchen in his smoking jacket, reading a newspaper.)*

**Salem:** I am SO not looking forward to my appointment with him next Monday! I mean, what good are these rabies shots and hairball inspections?

**Zelda:** They keep you alive, bub!

**Salem:** I'd much rather spend my day reading the funny papers than go to any appointment...

*(Sabrina comes down the stairs in her night clothes, then picks up her plate of breakfast and a glass of orange juice. She starts eating it using her fork in her right hand.)*

**Sabrina:** Good morning, aunties...and Salem.

**Hilda:** Why, good morning, Sabrina! How did you like the clock radio Grandma Maroot got you?

**Sabrina:** It's more efficient than that grouchy gnome screaming in my ear! And besides, I can wake up to the songs I like, and I love its pink color and being shaped like Mew-Mew from Kitties!, one of my favorite NTV shows. Tell her I said thanks!

**Salem:** I thought the intergnome gnome for our house quit, and now we use the speaker to give direct messages...

**Zelda:** Our gnome was fed up with shouting at people all the time, so he did quit, but the boxes still remain. And besides, Mom got Hilda and I clock radios, too: a blue owl for me and a purple rabbit for her. Anyhoo, your Uncle Quigley wants to tell us that flu season is upon us, so we must do the best we can to protect ourselves and each other from it.

**Sabrina:** Fingers crossed, Aunt Zelda!

*(A broom sweep transitions to the next scene, where everyone is now dressed in their day clothes as guidelined on the main page, and Sabrina is ready for school with her autumn jacket and fluffy bubblegum-pink earmuffs. Uncle Quigley is wearing his hat and jacket as he walks out the door.)*

**Quigley:** See you girls after work...and Salem too! Today, I'm going to start working with the fall vegetables so we can eat them.

**Girls:** Goodbye, Quigley! *(He gets into his car and takes off.)*

**Sabrina:** Goodbye, aunties and Salem! Harvey's gonna be here any minute! *(She bolts toward the front door.)*

**Hilda:** Whoa, whoa! *(She grabs Sabrina's left arm with her right hand.)* Slow down there, Brina! Before you go, Grandma left you more gifts!

**Sabrina:** More gifts? Like what?

**Zelda:** Like these... *(She pulls out a pair of magenta mittens and a red winter scarf. They both have hearts on them and her name "SABRINA" is embroidered on the scarf.)* Hand-knitted mittens and a scarf! *(She puts them on her niece.)* Grandma says to wear these on cold days, so you don't get sick.

**Sabrina:** *(she looks weird at the mittens and scarf)* These are nice, warm, fuzzy, and I like how they look, but...

*(Suddenly, the doorbell rings. Sabrina answers it, and sure enough, there is Harvey outside the door wearing a black autumn jacket and a green poofball hat and gloves.)*

**Harvey:** Hi, Sabrina! Ready for school?

**Sabrina:** You bet!

**Hilda:** Have a good day at school, Sabrina!

*(The cat spinner transitions to the next scene, where Sabrina is no longer wearing her mittens and scarf as the two arrive at school.)*

**Harvey:** Brina, what did you do with those supercute mittens and scarf?

**Sabrina:** I stuffed them in my backpack so Gem can't make fun of them! I like the hearts and warmth of those things, but I'm afraid people will make fun of them because they have hearts on them!

**Harvey:** I think they look cute! You shouldn't be embarrassed by how things look, and besides, those things will protect you from the cold so you don't get sick.