Carmine Chatarra

Carmine Chatarra is a middle aged woman who makes a living selling used cars that are REALLY shitty. She was arrested for driving with an expired license, but has been given no bail due to her suspected involvement multiple shady dealings and businesses as well as being suspected to have committed tax fraud, tax evasion and money laundering.

## Carmine Chatarra

### Occupation

Used Car Saleswoman
(Allegedly) Involved in several other shady dealings

Prisoner

### Family/Relationships

Grace (Cellmate)
Chiyoko (Met at Bar, Drank Together on Occasion)

Sam (Met at Bar, Drank Together on Occasion)

Has knowledge of all other inmate's general info and reasons for imprisonment

### General Info

Carmine is just your average ordinary sleazy used car saleswoman that smells like Cuban Cigars constantly (which, incase you didn't know, smell fucking AWFUL) and looks like she lives and sleeps in the shitty old cars that she sells (she doesn't, she actually has a very nice apartment). Despite her general unpleasantness and line of work however, she seems to be quite well off financially, which (among other things) has led to suspicions of her being involved in shady dealings, laundering money, or commiting white collar crimes such as tax evasion. The fact that she has a reputation among criminals and claims to have 'connections' does not help to dismiss these suspicions. Nor does her tendency to make vague threats when people get on her nerves. Regardless, there was never any proof supporting these suspicions, so she remained a free woman... Until she was caught driving on a 6 year expired license, to which she claimed that she 'kept forgetting to go to the DMV'. She was subsequently arrested, and has been living in prison since.

#### Plot Relevance

As of now, Carmine has not been relevant in any plot or subplot.

### Appearance

Carmine is a short woman with a hefty but slightly muscular build. Her hair is dark brown-ish hair and is worn slicked back and tied into a tiny ponytail. She has one fake eye, which does not match her actual one, with it being a dark green-grey color while her actual eyes is more of a dark teal-grey. Her eyes are heavy-lidded half circles, and she he has thick eyebrows, with a diagonal cut through her right one. Her teeth are yellowed, likely due to her copious amounts of cigar smoking, and her complexion is pale tan in color. She also has some wrinkling around her eyes and mouth. Her usual outfit consists of a light desaturated blue suit jacket with shoulder padding and slacks, with an old off-white shirt with rolled up sleeves and blue squared tie with a white stripe and tie tack, and brown leather dress shoes. She also has a gold watch on her left wrist, and a large gold ring on her right ring finger. She often can be seen without the suit jacket, and has visibly hairy arms.

### Relationships

#### Family

All of Carmine's family has seemingly either passed away or distanced themselves from her. It is unknown if she has any siblings, or even if the name she goes by currently is even her real one.

#### Friends

Carmine (unsurprisingly) has no friends. This doesn't seem to bother her, however.

#### Other

Grace Traupe has the displeasure of being Carmine's cellmate. They don't interact much despite this, though that's mainly due to the fact that Grace is a walking ball of anxiety and has heard nothing but scary rumors about Carmine. Carmine does not seem to have any opinion on this, and is more to content to just be left to herself (though that doesn't stop her from having one-sided conversations all the time with Grace; she can't help it, talking's just kinda her thing).

Carmine has encountered both Chiyoko Meiwaku and Samantha Dynamis on multiple occasions while at the bar. Unlike them, she does not have a drinking problem and only really went out drinking on Friday nights to unwind with some whiskey after a week of work, but she still has conversed with them on a few occasions while there. They were both too smashed to really remember all too clearly, though Sam does still smuggle the woman some whiskey every now and then. As a treat.

For some reason, Carmine has a general knowledge of literally every other inmate in the prison. Point out any of them, and she can give a full name and their reason for imprisonment, and sometimes a few other tidbits. Understandably, people do not seem to like the fact that she knows these things.

### Abilities

#### Stand

Carmine's stand, Fuck You Baltimore, grants the ability to use and control junk. Which is very vague, so I will go into more detail as to what exactly that means.

Essentially, items that are faulty, broken, or just otherwise unusable to a regular person are completely functional to Carmine (i.e. broken TVs, shitty cheap wire adapters, lemons (not the fruit, the term that means cars with massive manufacturing defects or just general low quality), etc.). This facet of her ability has understandably helped with selling just *the worst* cars to people. The other part of her ability, being able to control junk, is very simple:

She can cast spell of summon 1990 Chrysler Imperial on top of your head and kill you instantly.

It is a very dumb ability. ***Do not challenge her to a fight if you value your life.***

#### Other

Carmine is unsurprisingly a great negotiator and can sell almost anyone on almost anything. She's a used car saleswoman, what do you expect. She also probably has lungs of fucking steel with how many Cuban Cigars she smokes. Like, she still has access to them, even while in prison, and she still smokes them near fucking constantly much to the dismay of anyone within a good 50 ft radius of her.

...Which I guess is also an ability, technically. The ability of connections which let you get basically anything you want in jail.

### Trivia

* A portion of this page was written while I was watching hit film Morbius (2022) with Pika. It certainly was the movie ever.
* Her last name, Chatarra, means junk.
* Her stand, Fuck You Baltimore, is a reference to the Big Bill Hell's car dealership commercial.
	+ Yes, I know it is not a song. But also, I don't care because it's VERY funny.
* She's my favorite :]
* Carmine is definitely a person who is way more lame than rumors would make her seem, mainly in the sense that she gets hyped up as this almost pseudo-mob boss thanks to her reputation, but in reality is just some used car saleswoman that looks like she hasn't had a shower in 30 years (she has, she showers daily like a normal person).
* I don't really remember how I even came up with the idea for this horrible woman. It just kind of happened while I was trying to think of Funny Crimes, and I am so fucking glad it did.
* Carmine most definitely owns guns. What guns does she own? Extremely sawed-off shotguns.
* Her design actually reminds me a bit of how I draw myself, which has led to me making joke about how I will end up having to become a used car saleswoman once my dreams of being an author are thoroughly crushed.
	+ I only mean it a little bit.
* Her favorite car is the Mercedes Benz 280SL, also known as the Pagoda
	+ There is a very oddly specific reason for this, but it's very long + a personal story so I will not be putting it here unless it comes up on the blog somehow lmao. It's not that interesting or anything, just very funny to me.
* Carmine has never been in a long lasting relationship. *I wonder why-*
* She enjoys quiet nights, and (surprisingly) golf (though she isn't very good at it); She hates being called 'Carmen' and people trying to talk down to her or just being annoying asses in general.
* Her favorite foods are Vanilla French Twirls and Pan con Lechón, or just Cuban Sandwiches in general. Her favorite drinks are Calypso lemonade and whiskey.