Bonding

Example of Bond-rings showing increasing complexity for each stage of the bond.

Finding partners is not a social requirement. The bonds also most closely resemble a Queer-Platonic relationship (QPR), and have no required romantic attachment. Typically, only a third of the population end up bonding. When it does occur, pairs are not at all common, and most typically occur if a trio has a member die. In those occasions, the bond-rings (worn on the ears) that signify the living members of the trio’s bond to the deceased continue to be worn in most occasions. The bond-rings that the deceased member wore are treated differently across the country. Some ʍɔkɛɾɪ bury or otherwise inter the body while it still wears the rings, others have the rings buried or otherwise interred in a separate ceremony, other still have the living members wear the bond-rings of the deceased member for them.

The bond-rings vary in shape and placement, but usually form the shape of a small cylindrical clasp attached to the lower side of the ear, around the pocket. A person has one bond-ring per bond-mate. As trios are the most common, having two bond-rings, one on each ear, is the most common placement.

There are stages to a bond, each of which require a series of ceremonies to go to the next one. Typically, in such ceremonies the bond-ring is given further decoration. The first bond-stage can be formed in the first life stage, or any stage after. The second bond-stage can be moved to once both members of any one bond are in their second life-stage. The third, and final, stage can be moved to once both members of any one bond are in their third life stage. If two members of a bond are in their third life stage, with one member in their second, they can either choose to have two separate sets of ceremonies (one bonding the older two together, then another set to bond the younger member to the older two later), or wait until the younger one has reached their third life stage. It is most common for bond-mates to be within a few years of each other. Exceptions are very few, and usually consist of much older people a decade or so apart.

The ceremonies vary according to type of bond being moved to, the number of people being bonded together, and the number of bonds to be bonded.

For bond-mates that meet later of choose to bond only once they are in their third life-stage, the ceremony sets are typically done a few years apart from one another, so that each stage of the bond can be fully experienced.

While trios are the most common, in which each member is bonded to both other members, there are many other bond-group types.

Even in a trio, sometimes only one member bonds to both other members, with the other two members only having a single bond (Like a V).

Bond-groups whose total member numbers are a multiple of 3 are considered auspicious, but bond groups totalling 4 or 5 do exist, whether each member is bonded to every other member or any other formation. Bond-groups over 6 are not common but do occasionally occur. One of the legends/historical stories/fairy tales depict the formation of a bond-group of 13, a very auspicious number. While such bond-groups do occur, they are very uncommon.

Also, considering that the set of ceremonies to bond together a trio take several days to complete, the weeks-long set required by much larger groups is a touch daunting to attempt.

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Do break-ups happen? Absolutely. And yes, there’s rituals for that.

The typical proceedings include the return of the bond-rings to the person they indicate the bond with. What is done with the bond-rings varies. It is common among most ʍɔkɛɾɪɾi to give the bond-rings to the person who bonded them, or the ʍɔkɛɾɪ leader, who is typically the same person. Whether by the previously bonded individual or the person who bonded them, or in a ceremony with both, they can be ceremoniously broken or destroyed, buried, yeeted into the ocean, or likewise.

They can also be kept by the individual once the bond-ring has been returned to its original form, and be used again when that person finds another person that they want to bond with. In some places, individuals will have made a number of blank bond rings as the number of people that they want to bond with, and wear those as an indication that they are ‘available’ as it were. In such cases, the bond-ring from the previous partner is (usually in a ceremony) reduced back to a blank for reuse. In some places, individuals will remove the additions to the bond-ring that indicate who they were bonded with, and wear it in the same place as a piece of their past.

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[ID: Digital art of bond-ring diagrams, showing the side, top, and back of three different versions of increasing complexity. The rings are white with blue gems. They are drawn to simulate ink and watercolour on aged paper. End ID]