Total Drama Lodge

Being the first season filmed during the same year as another season, Total Drama Lodge features a whopping twenty-four all new contestants competing for the prize money. Unbeknownst to them, the season takes place in a remote ski lodge in the snowy mountains, where many twists to the Total Drama formula will occur.

The contestants pictured in front of their home for the duration of the competition.

## Hosts

Melinda

Nolan

## Teams

### Listless Lions

Connie

Evelyn

Francie

Gage

Ty

Valencia

Wally

Xiong

### Tenacious Tigers

Burton

Kayleigh

Laverne

Mason

Nicole

Paige

Quincy

Sanjay

### Bewildered Bears

Adara

Dulce

Hoagie

Ivy

JJ

Olive

Rhys

Ulysses

## Chapters

### Chapter 1 - Lodge Podge

"Good evening!" A mysterious woman with a gray streak at the front of her jet black hair introduces with an eerie affectation to her greeting. "My name is Melinda."

A thick man with black hair states, with a thoroughly confused expression, reacts, "It’s clearly not evening." He looks around at the sky of the snow covered mountainous backdrop, still very confused. "Ooh! Are we in that part of the world where it’s always daytime? Like where everyone is blonde and… and the women wear dresses made out of flowers and the men wear suits made out of bears?"

Melinda puts a few fingers on her forehead. "This is my brother, Nolan."

"Hey yo!" Nolan greets, as he waves, faced away from the camera. Melinda taps his shoulder, as he turns toward the camera. "Oh. Hello. I didn’t see you there."

Melinda shakes her head. "Let’s get serious here, Nolan."

Nolan assures, "Sorry. It’s been a minute since I’ve hosted a season. I thought it was going to be like riding the rocket ship outside of the grocery store, but it’s way harder than that."

Melinda smirks. She states, "That is most interesting, but all I need from you is to not date a contestant this season."

Nolan shakes his head. "Not gonna happen, again." He holds up some paperwork and points at it. "I legally cannot do that."

Melinda turns back toward the camera and presses her hands together. "This season will be unlike any other. The contestants will reside in an elaborate ski lodge…"

Nolan responds, "Ooooh! That’s why the season is called ‘Total Drama Lodge’! I thought it was because of that pork rind that got lodged in my throat last month."

Melinda ignores Nolan and continues, "The contestants had no idea that they will not be competing in a tropical location. However…"

Nolan interrupts, "Haha! It’s cold here, if my nips are any indication." He pulls his shirt open further to expose his chest to prove his point. "See?"

Melinda looks away and shakes her head. She looks back toward the camera. "The contestant’s families provided them with some winter clothing." She pulls out a small pair of opera glasses and looks out at the distance. "Ah. Our first contestant approaches. I can’t wait to see how this turns out. This is going to be wickedly delightful." Melinda lips curl up at the ends.

Nolan nods rapidly. "More like wicked sweet! I couldn’t be anymore excited, if my nips are…" Melinda holds Nolan’s lips closed with two fingers. A hearse pulls up onto the road outside of the lodge. Melinda lets go of Nolan’s lips. He states, "Ooh! A hearse? Nice touch." Melinda lets out a wicked laugh.

"Wowee!" A low voice exclaims, as they exit the hearse. "This is quite the set up." The brown haired, slight, Hispanic man adjusts his earmuffs, revealing his rather large ears.

"Welcome… to your doom!" Melinda bellows. "Muahahaha!"

The young man’s eyes are wide. Nolan explains, "Uh. Never mind, Melinda. She’s hung up on this spooky atmosphere for this season. You should have seen the outfit she wanted me to wear. I still feel the latex hugging my crevices."

"Oh, I see," Ulysses states, looking slightly concerned. He smiles slightly. He points at Nolan’s chest. "Hey, man. I’m digging the heavage."

Nolan looks down at his shirt with one button doing all of the work. "Oh, you noticed? I’m trying to show off my best feature."

"What does your neckline have to do with your million dollar smile?" The man asks. Nolan blushes a little.

Nolan waves a hand as he replies, "Oh, you. I don’t think it cost a million, but it was close. I wish I was an orthodontist. I would have made way more bank than I could have hosting this show. But unfortunately all I have is my devastating good looks."

The contestant laughs and says, "You’re funny."

Nolan blinks. He says, "Thanks." He puts a hand behind his head, looks to the side, and quietly asks, "What did I say?"

"Ulysses. Welcome to Total… Drama… Lodge!" Melinda welcomes. A wolf howls in the background as Melinda cackles. Ulysses looks around, looking concerned.

Nolan laughs. He repeats, "Ulysses? Did your parents come up with that name reading a book? From like… 1950?" Nolan laughs again, but sounds less confident.

Ulysses looks unfazed. "I was actually named after my great grandfather, who died before my grandfather was born."

Nolan looks embarrassed. "Oh, I… didn’t know."

Melinda narrows her eyes and comments, "Way to go, Nolan." She turns toward Ulysses. "Don’t pay attention to Nolan. He means no harm, but he’s always been a little insensitive." Ulysses nods.

"Hey, it was your idea to ride everyone in in hearses," Nolan says defensively. His arms are folded as he huffily looks to the side.

"That was your idea?" Ulysses asks Melinda. "It really gave me the vibe of what you’re going for. You must be a bit of a creative genius."

The corners of Melinda’s lips raise a little bit. She replies, "You, my dear, little ghoulie are going to be a fan favorite most definitely."

Nolan has his arms folded, as he looks into the distance. "Yeah, well. He likes my teeth."

"Ignore him," Melinda encourages, as she places a hand on Ulysses shoulder. "He’s just as sensitive as he is insensitive."

Ulysses nods. He assures, "I think that’s pretty sweet." Nolan smiles, as he rubs the back of his head with his hand.

Melinda puts her hands together and holds them to her side as she says, "Ah! Our next player is almost here. Nolan, roll out the black carpet for our next guest." Nolan looks at Melinda briefly, before rolling his eyes in the opposite direction, and retrieving the rolled up carpet. Ulysses looks at Melinda and then at Nolan without them noticing. His mouth contorts into a mischievous smirk.

A thin man with deep red hair steps out from the hearse. He wears vibrant pink and yellow clothing and greets, "How’s everybody doing tonight? It’s your game boy, Rhys!”

"Hey, Rhys!" Nolan greets. "I’m doing w…"

Rhys turns, and is obviously holding up his phone and recording himself. "Be sure to like and subscribe, and ding that triangle to stay up to date on my upcoming content. You…" Rhys points directly at his phone, "have the power to decide my next speed run. Will it be the cult classic ‘ChillDot’ platformer following the harrowing backstory of a humble soft drink mascot, or disco point and click adventure gem ‘Return to the Secret of the Escape from Funky Isle’?" Rhys points at his phone, again. "The power is yours!"

"I have no idea what any of that meant," Melinda says, as she blinks.

Nolan pulls out his phone and starts typing rapidly. "Me neither, but I’m voting for the funky one." Nolan laughs as he repeats, "Funky."

Rhys states, as he extends his arm to show his viewers his backdrop. "But for now, I’m taking a break from live-streaming game content to fulfill my dream of appearing on Scrotal Drama."

Nolan blinks. He asks, "Did he just say Scrotal Drama?"

Rhys smiles. "I’m a huge fan. You might even call me a super fan, lowkey." Rhys looks over at Ulysses. "Hey, look! There’s another player here." Rhys points the camera to include Ulysses, who suddenly looks uncomfortable. He attempts to scurry sideways, until Rhys wraps his free arm around him and pulls him incredibly close. Ulysses begins to blush as Rhys states, "Hello, stranger. The name is Rhys! Introduce yourself to my loyal fans. We reached a new record of nineteen viewers for today’s stream! It’s nothing to be nervous about."

Ulysses stammers, "H-h-h-h-hi… I-I-I… My name is… U-U…"

"Great to meet you, U U," Rhys assures. "I think we’re going to make a dynamic duo. I have a feeling we’re going to go together like a bird riding in a bear’s backpack. Like a kid and his trusty electrical rodent. No. Pause. We’re most definitely going to be the next Tonic and Sails. Be sure to press continue to see how our relationship unfolds. I’ll be streaming the entire experience on my channel. While…"

Nolan raises a hand and states, "Um. No. We’re definitely confiscating your phone."

"Aw," Rhys reacts, dropping his shoulders. Nolan gestures for Rhys to hand over his phone. Rhys quickly says, "This has been your game boy, Rhys. Be sure to keep notifications on to be the first to know when I…" Nolan takes away Rhys’ phone.

Nolan holds up Rhys’ phone and states, "I swear. These things are all fun and games until you…"

Rhys puts a finger on his chin. He asks, "Cause a serious car accident?"

Nolan’s eyes show his surprise. He asks, "Uh. What?"

Rhys looks at Nolan. He waves his arms in front of him, to and fro. He states, "Oh, sorry, my man. Were we not referencing Grande Car Thievery? My bad. I thought it was a bit." Nolan and Melinda look at each other with raised eyebrows. Rhys looks at Ulysses. "Hey, my man. You look great on camera."

"Th-thanks," Ulysses responds. The young Latino continues to blush as he looks at the ground.

Rhys assures, "Hey. You’re not on camera anymore, my main man. You can relax. I got a little bit of stage fright when appearing on cam at first, too." He places a hand on Ulysses’ shoulder. "Wow. You’re tense. Remind me to give you a back rub, later."

"Uh," Ulysses begins. His eyes are wide.

"Hopefully we can hook up in the future," Rhys assures.

"L-like in an alliance?" Ulysses asks, looking surprised.

Rhys smiles, shakes his head, and explains, "No. No. No. I’m looking for a romantic partner, my dude."

Ulysses face turns bright red. He stammers, "M-m-m-me…"

Rhys twirls a hair on his chin as he looks into space. "I’m not sure who will play opposite you, yet, but you definitely have leading man looks, my guy. Of course, you’ll have to put on, like, thirty pounds of muscle. But don’t worry. I have connections. I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a personal trainer." Ulysses looks blank. "This streaming stuff is great for the meanwhile, but my real calling is to bring back FMV video games in a big way.” Rhys holds Ulysses close to himself as he spreads his free hand through the air, looking forward. Ulysses doesn’t look forward, but at Rhys. "Are you open to nude scenes, my boy?"

"Uh," Ulysses responds, looking very concerned.

Melinda glares at Nolan. She whispers, "Why did you take the kid’s phone? You knew I had an elaborate plan to cut the wi-fi with a comically immense pair of scissors." Melinda pulls a pair of gloves from her pocket and pouts. "I even had my cable cutting gloves ready to go." Melinda scoffs as she looks to the side.

Nolan shrugs and responds, "Oops?"

Melinda gestures dramatically and accidentally slaps Nolan across the face with her glove. "Enough of that now. Our next victim… I mean, guest… is arriving!" Melinda clasps her hands together and lifts a leg in the air.

Ulysses stares at Rhys with an awkward grin. Rhys asks, "Wait. Did our shady lady just say ‘victims’?"

Ulysses shakes his face and responds, "Huh?" He looks back at the hosts. "Oh. I forgot about Gruesome and the Goober." Ulysses’ eyes widen. "I mean… They seem great."

Rhys laughs. He says, "You’re funny."

A woman with vibrant violet hair steps out of the hearse. She looks back at the vehicle as it drives away. She flails a ribbon in the air as she waves goodbye to the driver. "That ride reminded me of the third time Queen Serendipity died…" Her eyes turn upward as she reflects. "Well. When she went to visit her cousin in another county in the dub." She shakes her head. "But nobody counts that."

"Who’s this?" Rhys asks. Ulysses still awkwardly stares at Rhys, and lets out a sigh.

"Welcome, Connie," Nolan states with a smile. "She made her outfit herself." Connie nods sharply, and strikes a pose with a hand on her hip and her hand in a peace sign over her eye.

Rhys rubs the hair on his chin. "No way. I’m looking for a costume designer for my video game debut. I’m going to be a big game developer, you know."

Connie replies, "Oh!" She contorts her body into another action pose. "I have dedicated myself to fight the evils of the corrupt entertainment industry. Mostly, remakes no one asked for and cheap knock off merch." Connie points at Rhys. "In the name of the stars, I will vanquish you!"

Rhys’ eyes are wide. He slow claps. "That was an incredible monologue. Forget behind the scenes, you need to be a playable character!" Rhys puts his arm around Connie. Ulysses frowns. Rhys puts his other hand up in the air as he looks beyond it. "Picture it. Your name in the game credits, after about three minutes of credits that people actually care about!"

Connie puts her hands on her cheeks. She asks, "Really?" Rhys nods. "Well… That does sound nice, and all. But I have another destiny." She stands on the other side of Ulysses. She tells him, "I love the monochromatica."

"Uh," Ulysses responds. "Thanks."

Connie has a hand to her chin. She lowers her brow. "Are you open to the idea of wearing a skirt?"

Ulysses begins. "Like… in public?"

Rhys puts an arm around Ulysses neck and pulls him closer. "I called dibs on U U, here. He will never wear a skirt… You know. Unless I deem it tasteful." Connie pouts as Ulysses’ awkward smile reemerges.

Melinda points at Rhys with her thumb as she whispers to Nolan, "Was he like this in the audition process?" Nolan shakes his head. Melinda looks up. "Ah. Someone else is arriving."

The hearse sinks to one side as it drives forward. After it parks, a very muscular Asian man steps out. The car immediately bounces back as he exits it. He shyly offers a small wave to the other contestants. He quietly says, "Hey, guys." He does not look at anyone directly. "It’s nice to be here. Even when I’m voted out first, it will still have been the most exciting thing I’ve done in my life."

Rhys laughs. "That’s hilarious. No way are you out first. Have you seen these two?" Connie glares at Rhys, while Ulysses still looks at the redhead affectionately. "I kid. Welcome aboard. What’s your name, my main man?" Ulysses frowns, again.

The strong looking Asian man wearing a red jacket introduces himself, "How stupid of me." He kicks himself, the others grimace. "I’m Ty. I should have mentioned that at the outset. Stupid. Stupid."

Rhys puts his hands up. He assures, "You’re alright, my dude." Rhys smiles. "Do you do your own stunts?"

"Stunts?" Ty puts a hand over his face. "I knew I should have read up on teen lingo before I got here. Um… Is stunts…" Ty leans in, covers his mouth with his hand, looks in the opposite direction, and speaks quieter. "Drugs? If so the answer is no." Rhys blinks. "Unless… Is that what the cool kids are doing? If that’s the case, then… definitely!" Rhys continues to blink. "I said the wrong thing, didn’t I?" Ty walks to the far end of the contestants. "I’ll just be over here. Let me know if I’m bothering you guys and I’ll move. I saw a rock roughly as bulky as I am about a mile back that I could stand behind. I mean, if that’s cool with you all." Connie stares at Ty. He asks, "I’m bothering you, aren’t I? Sorry, I’ll…"

"No, no," Connie remarks. "I just have a sneaking suspicion that you remind me of someone I know pretty intimately. I just can’t put my finger of justice and love on it." She taps her chin with her index finger.

Ty shrugs his hefty shoulders. He assures, "It’s probably a big loser, or something. I’ll let you think. If my breathing is distracting, just you let me know and I’ll see what I can do." Ulysses glares at Ty.

Rhys faces Ulysses and says, "Hey, my best bud." Rhys lifts his glasses and asks, "Stare into my eyes. Are they exuding confidence? My followers say that I lack a connection with the camera so I’ve been working on it." Ulysses’ awkward grin returns as he looks lost in Rhys’ eyes. "Uh. My man?"

"Oh! The next hearse is here!" Nolan exclaims. "I’ll get the door for…" As Nolan opens the door, a hand reaches out and immediately flips him to the ground.

"Not allowed!" A raspy voice exclaims. An intimidating woman with stark orange hair, and a matching red and black leather jacket steps out of the vehicle. "There will be no pda on my watch."

"But didn’t you have to sign one in your contract?" Nolan asks from the driveway. He stands up and dusts himself off.

"It stands for ‘public displays of affection’, doofus," the young woman clarifies.

Nolan laughs. He looks at the woman. "Nicole, right?" The contestant nods to confirm her identity. "I’m one of the hosts this year. So I can assure you that there will be no romance between me and you…" he pauses as Nicole glares at him. "Not that you’re not attractive… I mean… Not that I find you attractive… I just mean… I’m kind of on a strict ‘no dating contestants’ policy."

Nicole narrows her eyes. She confirms, "I know your track record, buster. You’re on my watchlist." Nicole easily pushes Nolan back as she walks over toward the contestants. Rhys takes off his glasses, breathes on them, and lifts up his shirt to wipe the lenses. Ulysses lets out a sweet sigh as he looks on. Nicole looks over at them and then at Connie and Ty.

Connie snaps her fingers. "I figured out who you remind me of! You’re like a taller, more muscular version of King Edamame with lighter hair and a complete lack of a spine."

"I am?" Ty asks. He rubs the back of his head, as his jacket tightens around his flexed bicep. "You’ll never believe this, but these modeling scouts hired me to portray King Edamame at a fan convention for their booth selling costumes and stuff. I didn’t want to do it, but I thought I might hurt their feelings if I said no."

"They did?" Connie asks, clearly looking excited.

Ty nods rapidly. "Uh-huh. And I did the research from all of his appearances so I could stand in place without moving just like he would. All the way back to the…" The pair begin to speak in unison. "The Star Prelude arc! You know… when he’s floating around in that bubble in the background." Connie holds her cheeks as she blushes and looks away from Ty.

Nicole frowns. She states, "Good. There’s no flirting between these nerds. Just the way I like it." She folds her arms and faces the next approaching hearse. Melinda raises an eyebrow as she looks at Nicole.

Melinda claps her hands, startling the others. "Our next competitor."

Another tall, bulky man emerges from the hearse. He wears a pale green beanie, and bright green overalls. His presumably blond hair is died blue just on top of his head. He excitedly waves at the others before grasping his oversized backpack filled with camping gear. "Bonjourno!" The burly man introduces.

"This is Quincy," Melinda introduces.

"Oui, mademoiselle," Quincy says with a nod. He looks around and frowns. "This is the most beautiful venue, oui? Is it not summer in this part of the world?"

Nolan shakes his head. "Nah, bruh. It’s the dead of winter." He gestures around him.

Melinda laughs. She adds, "’Dead of winter’… I like how that sounds." A few contestants raise an eyebrow.

Quincy looks concerned as he looks at the morbid hostess. He looks back at Nolan and asks, "This is Camp Wawanakwa, no, monsieur?"

Nolan laughs and says, "No, bud. We had a tight filming schedule what with Total Drama: The Next Generation, so we had to choose somewhere more…"

"Secluded," Melinda states as she rubs her hands together.

Nolan nods. He explains, "You’ll all be staying inside this lovely lodge for the duration of the competition."

"Did no one else find it weird that of every word she could use, she said ‘secluded’?" Ulysses asks. He goes ignored.

Quincy frowns and looks around. He asks, "With all of this beautiful nature around?"

Nolan shrugs. "No, sir. It gets very cold at night, so we can’t let you sleep outside, as much as Melinda would have liked that."

"No, no, no," Quincy adds with a tongue click. "I am an expert on the outdoors." He gets down on the ground and presses his face against the driveway. "I saw a video on ViewTube, mon petit monsieur."

"Wow!" Nolan responds enthusiastically. "That’s more research than I would be willing to do."

Quincy stands back up. "I just learned there is a herd of antelope nearby because the earth told me so."

Ty assures, "I don’t believe that antelope are native to this part of the world…" Quincy blinks. Ty winces. "But I think I might have seen a… uh… petting zoo on the ride over here?" Ty places his arms over his head. "Please don’t hate me."

"Why would I hate you?" Quincy asks. He eyes the insecure Asian man up and down. "You appear more well equipped than I." Quincy winks at Ty, who looks confused, but winks back. Nicole looks down at her fingernails.

The next contestant emerges from their hearse. An overweight, eastern Indian young man emerges from the vehicle. He admits, "Wow. Was that ride ever gloomy. It reminded me of a gothic romance I once read..." He giggles sweetly. He looks around. "Gosh! Is this Total Drama, or a dating show featuring hot singles ready to mingle?!"

Nicole looks at her fingernails more. "No." Her eyes widen before she looks toward the hosts. "And it’s not going to be on my watch."

"Welcome, Sanjay," Melinda greets. "It is not a dating show, but indeed the latest iteration of Total Drama."

"Swell!" Sanjay responds. "I always prefer love in its purest form, not when it’s overly produced."

Nolan laughs and nods. "You got that right, kid. We only scouted half of the cast from a dating site with 99 percent matches or higher." Melinda nudges Nolan with her elbow. He asks, "What? Isn’t that what we did?"

"That’s what you did," Melinda admits. "I chose my part of the cast based on how bloodcurdling their screams were." She taps her fingers together.

Connie places a finger to her chin. "I thought that portion of the audition process was rather disconcerting."

Another hearse pulls up, and an unusual woman with curly red hair steps out. She is clothed in a sweater with a giraffe depicted on one of the arms. She whistles as she looks at the lodge. "What a beaut that is, don’cha know!"

"Say ‘hello’ to Laverne," Nolan introduces. "She’s a bit of a mother…"

Laverne places her hands on her hips. "Watch your mouth there, mister man." She digs through her bag. "I have plenty of soap in here." She pulls out a container of soap. The label reads ‘Dial It Back: The Soap for the Naughtiest of Mouths’.

Nolan shakes his head as he holds up his hands. "I didn’t mean anything. It’s just that your friends said you act like a mom even though some of them are older than you."

Laverne returns the soap to her bag and places a hand thoughtfully to her chin and admits, "That does sound like them. Those little dears are completely helpless without me, bless ‘em. I admit I…" Laverne looks at another contestant. "Look at you, hon. You look like you’ve been rolling in the mud." Quincy points to himself and mouths ‘me?’ Laverne nods. "Don’t worry, hon. Laverne is here to make it all better."

"Er…" Quincy responds. "Thanks?" He looks confused.

Laverne nods as she digs through her bag and adds, "Often those who need coddling are the ones who don’t ask for it, don’cha know." Nicole raises her eyebrow as her interest is piqued. "Here it is, there." She pulls out a purple handkerchief, spits on it, and begins to rub Quincy’s dirty cheek with it.

Quincy begins, "Eh… What are…"

Nicole abruptly grabs hold of Quincy’s ear and yanks him toward her. "Not on my watch, lovebirds. You should be ashamed of yourselves, acting like lovesick ninnies on national television. Good thing I can spot romance from a mile away."

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Quincy shouts.

"Try not to move around so much now, there," Laverne insists as she continues to try to wipe the camping enthusiast’s cheek. The next hearse pulls up with the newest contestant.

Sanjay sighs sweetly as he looks on at Connie and Ty shyly interacting with each other. Ty asks, "So… I don’t want to sound like a burden, but… Would you be open to helping me learn how to sew, some time? I know it’s selfish of me and all, but I really have been wanting to explore the world of cosplay more than just spokesmodeling."

"Oh my gosh, yes!" Connie replies. "I already have, like, six hundred character ideas for you already!"

"Aw!" Sanjay sighs again and states, "They are literally the cutest!"

A tall, Asian, young woman stands nearby. She tilts her head to the side and comments, "That was before you met me, right?" She laughs softly.

Sanjay looks at her briefly and half heartedly responds, "Uh-huh. Yeah. Whatever." He looks back at Connie and Ty and sticks out his lower lip.

"Meet Olive, everyone," Melinda introduces.

Olive tilts her head and her long ponytail sways. "Hi, sweetie!" She holds up her phone and sticks out her lips as she takes a picture. She says to Melinda, "Do you mind stepping back a little? No offense, but my posts get fewer interactions when there are old people in the background." Melinda steps back. "Thanks, sweetie. It’s nothing personal, just the law of the jungle, or whatever." Olive frowns after taking a selfie. "Do you think they have phones in the jungle? Like… Panthers text, right?" Melinda raises an eyebrow.

"I never thought about that." Nolan responds, with wide eyes. "Consider my mind blown." He gestures an explosion around his head.

The next hearse arrives. A young woman wearing a blue hajib steps out from her vehicle. She steps out and quietly observes the other contestants. She says, "Greetings, everyone. My name is Adara." Some of the others wave. "I look forward to competing with you all." The others stare at her. She looks embarrassed. "Sorry. I don’t know what else to say." She laughs nervously.

"That is such a pretty color blue you’re wearing," Connie compliments with a smile. "Did you make your outfit yourself?"

Adara responds, "Huh?" She looks down. "No. My mother did, though." Adara adds. "I like how you made yours, though."

"How did you know?" Connie asks. "Do you follow my socials?"

Adara shakes her head. "No, sorry. Oh. You have a signature stitch style, that shows that you lead with your left hand when you sew. Which… I mean… You’re obviously left handed." Connie looks down at her left hand. "Plus, I noticed the lack of sewn in tags on your clothing."

"Wowzer," Connie states, looking astonished. "You’re spot on."

"Read me next," Ty asks, as he points at himself. "I mean… if it’s not too much of a hassle."

Adara suggests, "Oh, no. I don’t really ‘read’ people…"

Ty frowns and assures, "It’s okay if you don’t want to… I have a tendency to ask a lot of people…"

Adara has a hand to her cheek. "Hm. You definitely seek the approval of others with an unhealthy desire to be liked." Ty smiles slightly, but looks uneasy. "Your choice of the color red appears to be calculated. You view it as a color that evokes strong emotions from people, and you have a deep seated desire for people to have a strong feeling evoked when they see you that you don’t feel that you emit based on your personality alone." Ty winces. Adara looks embarrassed, again. "Sorry. I’m sure none of that is right." Adara flicks her wrist as she tries to downplay her words. Another hearse pulls up.

A wiry black man steps out of the hearse, wearing brightly colored, trendy clothing. He introduces himself, "Hello, all. I am Burton. I’m pleased to meet all of you." The others lean in to hear him speak. He laughs, very softly. "My apologies. I do ASMR, so I suppose it bleeds over to my personal life." Sanjay appears to have fallen asleep while standing.

"ASMR?" Adara asks. "Oh!" Her eyes widen. "I know your videos! I’m Adara."

Burton thinks for about twenty seconds. Adara leans toward him, waiting for a response. He slowly lifts a finger to the air. "Right. I never forget a voice. I listen to your show."

Olive suddenly seems interested in something other than her phone. She steps between the two newly arrived players. "Oh my… G! You two are famous? We have to do a group selfie for me to post!" She holds up her phone.

"No, I’m not really…" Burton quietly begins.

Adara states, "Oh. I didn’t know you could use flash with the camera turned toward…"

Olive says, "Say ‘media moguls’!"

Burton quietly remarks, "Wait. Is that a pickle on my face? Why didn’t anyone tell…" Olive snaps the picture. The flash seems to blind Adara.

"What kind of media do you two do?" Olive asks.

"I make ASMR videos," Burton repeats, softly.

"And I’m a true crime podcaster," Adara explains.

"What’s ASMR?" Olive asks.

Burton explains, "It stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, but I’m sure you could have guessed that." Olive looks blank. Burton further explains, "It means I make videos where I speak softly and use everyday objects to make sounds that give people a soothing feeling when they hear it."

Olive blinks. She holds up her phone. "Wow. I think that’s a world record for the fastest I’ve ever deleted a selfie." She saunters away.

Rhys mutters from the side of his mouth, "Is there a reason she’s allowed to keep her phone?"

"She has a heck of a ton of followers," Nolan confirms. "It’s good for being able to promote the show without having to spend the big bucks for advertising." Rhys glares to the side.

Laverne finishes wiping Quincy’s face. "All done with that, there." Quincy slouches down to the ground. She looks over at Burton. "Silly, you should definitely aim for your face when you eat. Let me get that for you." She reaches for his cheek with her handkerchief. Nicole lets go of Quincy’s ear in order to glare at Burton and Laverne.

The next contestant emerges from a hearse. "Oh, boy! This is one of my cast picks!" Nolan assures.

A bulky man with long brown hair and a purple cut off shirt head bangs in place as he simulates drumming on the hearse as it drives away. He also sings incoherently. "Is he alright?" Olive asks with an eyebrow raise. She shrugs before looking back at her cellphone.

Melinda introduces, "Everyone. This hulking piece of meat is Hoagie."

"Like the sandwich?" Laverne asks. "That’s my girls’ favorite lunch I pack for them."

Hoagie nods, which is difficult to differentiate from his head banging. "One in the same." He hums a high octane song.

Rhys asks, "And he’s allowed to have headphones? I mean, I don’t really care, but it hardly seems fair."

"Headphones?" Hoagie asks. "Nah, man… Or however you identify. I got a constant playlist running in my head. The clashing of cymbals. The banging of drums. Bro, the constant screams of the lead vocalist of my heart." He places a hand over his exposed chest. "My adrenaline is always pumping."

Laverne frowns. She laments, "You poor dear. Didn’t your loved ones pack you any winter gear?"

Hoagie bangs his head some more, his long dark hair whipping all around him. "Loved ones? Nah. I’m all good. I run pretty warm since I’m always moving."

Adara blinks. She looks up at the sky. Burton quietly asks, "Is something the matter?"

Adara shrugs. She assures. "I thought I felt a raindrop." A rumbling can be heard in the near distance. "And now thunder?" Adara asks. "No, wait, that’s…"

A tough looking, black haired, young woman with a leather jacket approaches. She’s riding a mostly purple motorcycle. Her hair flows in the wind. Hoagie looks up and says, "Hey! She’s so cool!" He continues banging his head in the air.

"What an entrance," Nolan assures.

"And so dangerous," Melinda sways as she clasps her hands together. "This is Paige."

The newly arrived woman lets down the kickstand with her foot before stepping off the motorcycle. "’Sup."

"Wow!" Hoagie exclaims. "Sick bike. Purple’s my favorite color if you can’t tell." He pulls at his purple shirt. Nicole raises an eyebrow as she looks on.

"Didn’t ask, don’t care," Paige responds, coolly.

"Mind if I…" Hoagie reaches out toward the bike.

Paige quickly reaches out and grabs hold of Hoagie’s wrist. He sticks out his lower lip. "I’m not going to say this again. No one… Touches… The bike."

Hoagie responds, "I can get behind that, uh… You’ve got quite the grip." Paige lets go of his wrist. Hoagie rubs it with his opposite hand. Paige steps closer to her motorcycle.

"This is the one thing I care about," Paige insists. She places a hand on the seat. "Old Rita has never let me down, not like people have."

"I’m moved," Olive states as she types away on her phone.

Laverne steps up. She asks, "I noticed you don’t wear a helmet. Hasn’t your mother ever told you the benefits of wearing one?"

Paige shakes her head. She responds, "My moms minds her own business… Something you could put into practice." Laverne frowns.

Hoagie assures, "Hey, I know we got off on the wrong foot, and all…"

"You’re right," Paige replies, unemotionally. "Now get away from me and Old Rita before you drool on her." Hoagie steps back as he rubs the back of his head.

Adara looks on. She then turns her attention to a large, circular, red and white item nearby. She asks, "Was that always here?" Another loud noise is heard, though it sounds distant.

"Incoming!" A gravelly voice shouts. Several contestants scatter, as someone squarely hits the circular object from above.

"What happened?!" Ty asks, holding his head in his hands.

"Somebody’s hurt…" Burton states quietly, though he seems like he feels he’s shouting.

Olive clutches her phone. "Nobody panic. My phone is safe." She kisses the phone. It’s in a gold case with a heart encrusted in what looks like diamonds.

Paige has her arms spread out in order to protect her motorcycle. "Call an ambulance! Call an ambulance!" The gravelly voice from before states. "But not for me!" A strong looking black woman whips her helmet aside. Her hefty shoulders jut out from a target. "It is I! Evelyn! Daredevil extraordinaire. I just broke the record for best entrance on a Total Drama show!" A few of the others slowly applaud, despite looking concerned.

"That was… pretty impressive…" Paige admits.

"I know!" Evelyn assures. She looks over at Paige’s motorcycle. "Is this your bike?" Paige nods. "Wow. You take great care of her."

"Thanks," Paige replies.

"Mind if I touch it?" Evelyn asks.

"No, she…" Hoagie begins.

"Go for it," Paige assures. Evelyn pumps her fist before placing a hand on one of the handles. Hoagie blinks.

"You should always wear a helmet," Evelyn assures. "Here." Evelyn hands Paige her white helmet with a yellow star on the side. "Take it. I have a spare."

Paige accepts the helmet and looks to the side and says, "Uh… Thanks for looking out for me." Laverne lowers her eyebrows as she looks on.

Evelyn snaps her fingers. "Garçon!" Nolan points at himself. Quincy shrugs and nods. "Make sure you put this bike somewhere safe."

Quincy leans toward Sanjay and whispers, "Garçon means ‘boy’." Sanjay nods.

Nolan nods in response to Evelyn. "We have a garden shed…" Paige glares at Nolan. "Uh. What I meant to say is that there’s a heated garage with just the spot for it." He glares to the side. "I’ll have to move my pogo stick, but it’s not like I matter."

"I felt that," Ty states.

Evelyn nods. She says to Paige, "You can stand next to me." Paige nods and the two women step among the group. Sanjay looks on with a dreamy smile. Nicole yawns as she looks disinterested.

The next hearse drives up.  Nolan introduces, "This should be Kayleigh."

A blonde woman with hair dyed pink on the ends stumbles out of the car. She raises her arms in the air and yells, "Woo! Where’s the party?"

Hoagie holds out his hands, his index fingers and pinkies extended. "Yeah! Rock and roll!"

Kayleigh saunters in front of the other contestants. "Quite an eclectic group. Yeah? These dating shows are getting more inclusive by the day."

"Dating show?" Olive asks. "With these uggos?"

Nicole slams a fist into her open palm. "I knew it." She points at Melinda. "You lied to me."

"No, no," Melinda assures. "You’re looking for love in all the wrong places. We’ve already established that this is a reality competition show. Not a dating show."

Kayleigh walks up to Hoagie. She looks at his zebra striped bottoms, and purple ‘Def Liepard’ shirt and assumes, "You must be the star of the show."

"Me?" Hoagie asks. "I wouldn’t say all that…"

"Wanna make out?" Kayleigh asks.

"Right now?" Hoagie asks. "Uh, sure. I…" Kayleigh throws herself at him and the two begin kissing. Hoagie’s eyes are wide, but he quickly seems to be enjoying himself. The others’ eyes are wide.

"It’ll never amount to anything," Nicole assures with her arms folded and a confident nod.

The pair continue to make out, while the next hearse pulls up and a small, south Asian man steps out wearing an open turquoise puffer vest. His well defined abs are on full display. Melinda nudges Nolan, who stops staring at Kayleigh and Hoagie. "Hey, everybody. Our next… Where did he…"

The smiling contestant unexpectedly appears between Melinda and Nolan. The hosts are startled as he shouts, "Hey, hey!" He introduces, "I’m Xiong. Sounds like ‘song’." He looks around. "What a beautiful place. Lots of beautiful people."

"Welcome," Melinda greets. "We are most pleased to…" Melinda looks down near where Xiong just was. "Where did he…"

Xiong appears next to Quincy and Nicole. He places an arm around their respective waists. "Hey, guys! We’re going to have so much fun together!"

Quincy’s cheeks turn slightly pink. He asks, "Do you like the outdoors like…" Quincy blinks. "Wasn’t there someone just here?"

Nicole bares her teeth. She states, "Stop flirting with me." Quincy winces as he raises his arms and jolts back. She folds her arms. "You better not put your hands around my waist, ever again."

"I swear, mademoiselle, I didn’t…" Quincy begins.

"Love the fit," Xiong says to Burton.

"Oh…" Burton quietly responds. "Thanks… I thought it would make a loud statement, like I tend to do…" Burton looks around himself. "I thought…"

"Wow." Xiong states. "You two make a great couple!"

Kayleigh and Hoagie take a break from kissing. Hoagie says, "Uh. Hey there, guy." The pair start kissing, again.

"Room for one more?" Xiong asks. "I’m kidding." He laughs before he walks away. Kayleigh stops kissing Hoagie in order to watch Xiong as he leaves.

Hoagie notices and looks particularly upset as he sees Kayleigh’s lingering impressed gaze. Hoagie lets out a "Hey!"

Sanjay holds his hands together and says, "Ooh! Steamy!"

Nicole raises an eyebrow as she looks over at Sanjay. "What kind of perv are you, kid?"

"Oh, no, it’s nothing like that." Sanjay shakes his head. "I just love love." Nicole frowns and raises an eyebrow.

Another hearse arrives. A young Asian woman emerges from the vehicle in a very proper manor. She stands with perfect posture. "She looks like a ton of fun," Paige states sarcastically.

The newly arrived woman kicks a leg back and greets, "Ah! Hello!" She bows toward the other contestants. Her clothing is various shades of green. "I am Ivy." She looks around at the wintery surroundings. "What an aesthetically pleasing location. Only the strongest survive in such harsh conditions." Some of the contestants look surprised by her comment. Ivy reaches toward her seat from the hearse. She retrieves an odd looking plant, that appears to have a toothy grin. She places earmuffs on the plant as she holds the flower pot at the bottom.  "I am of course speaking of plant life. Allow me to introduce my friend, Audrey III, named after one of my favorites from Total Drama history."

"Total Drama History?" Nolan asks. "Is that about a season I missed about time travel, or something?"

"Don’t listen to him," Melinda states. "I like your friend."

"You would," Nolan adds dryly. Melinda smiles sinisterly and nods.

Ivy reveals, "This particular species is very adaptable to extreme weather, and very good for the environment. But most important, they add much joy to any room they inhabit."

Nolan looks at the next arriving hearse. A tall man with a large Afro, and wearing a bright pink suit, complete with matching top hat, emerges from the hearse. Nolan blinks. He whispers to Melinda, "You hired a magician to entertain the children?"

Melinda shakes her head. She raises her hands and says, "Welcome our next contestant, Wally, amateur magician."

Wally looks nervous. He pulls out a seven of clubs from his pocket. He asks, "Is this your card?"

"Excuse me," Ivy states politely. "But I feel the order of your performance is not in the appropriate alignment." Ivy produces an exaggerated gesture as she brings her hands together.

Wally looks surprised. He replies, "Oh, right. I was supposed to break an egg across my forehead first."  Wally rummages through his pockets. Laverne readies her purple handkerchief.

Olive points at Wally with her thumb and says, "What’s with these ‘contestants’?" She uses her free hand to represent quotation marks.

"Um," Adara begins. "You do know you were also cast on this season… Or…" Olive glares at Adara. Adara winces.

Olive’s eyes get bigger. She states, "So that means my chances to win this season are through the roof, right? Purr! You’re so sweet!" Adara produces a forced smile as Olive hugs her. She raises her phone to take another selfie.

Wally adds, "And for my next trick… Watch me make this cupcake disappear." Wally holds out a cupcake, with pink frosting and sprinkled with cyan sprinkles.

"It matches his costume," Connie notes.

Wally holds his hat over his face as he holds the cupcake between it and his face. Sounds of struggling are audible. He removes his hat and states, "Hey, pesto!" He coughs as he looks slightly disoriented. A few contestants clap politely.

"Wow," Ty states as he applauds. "How exciting. I wonder where it disappeared to?"

"Seriously?" Evelyn asks. "He obviously just ate the cupcake."

Ty puts a hand over his face. "I should have known."

Wally looks pale. He responds, "Ate it?" He frowns as he pulls out a notepad from his inner pocket. A wand falls from inside his suit coat. As it hits the pavement, it transforms into a bouquet of flowers. He writes something feverishly onto the notepad. "I’ll have to remember that." Wally’s eyes get wide as he prepares for a sneeze. Some of the others duck for cover as he heaves his large chest. He finally sneezes, and frosting and sprinkles shoot out of the awkward man’s nose. Paige stands in front of her motorcycle with her jacket extended. She is buffeted with bits of cupcake.

"He stuck it up his nose?!" Nolan asks in disbelief. "I did not see that coming. Dude’s a straight savage." He points at Wally with his thumb. Laverne quickly wipes off Wally’s face with her purple handkerchief.

"Mad respect," Evelyn adds.

Wally rummages through his top hat. He announces, "I would like to introduce my lovely assistant, Minkey Boodle…"

"There’s supposed to be a person in the hat?" Burton quietly asks.

The next hearse drives up, and the others turn their attention to it. Wally continues to reach into his top hat. "Where did my little buddy disappear to?" Wally places his hat back on his unruly hair as he digs into his pockets. A white rabbit tiptoes behind Wally. He continues to rummage through his pockets. A long string of scarves falls from his coat pocket. Minkey Boodle dodges an oversized dagger as it falls from Wally’s pants pocket, as well as red rubber balls that explode into a purple mist as they hit the ground. Minkey Boodle looks back and looks happy as she seems to be able to escape. She looks in front of her and sees Ivy’s potted plant, Audrey III, waiting in anticipation on the ground while holding a knife and fork in its leaves. It seems to lick its lips as Minkey Boodle approaches. Minkey Boodle slides in order to stop from reaching the plant. She runs back toward Wally, climbs the scarves, and pulls them back into the pocket. She hides in Wally’s pocket as she cowers while looking at a very hungry looking Audrey III. Ivy picks the potted plant back up from the ground. Wally also seems to not have noticed, as a dove flies from inside his jacket. Wally chases after the bird, which has several of his tricks caught on its leg.

A very thin and tall young man with blond hair, a red beard, and a disinterested expression emerges from the hearse with his arms folded. He wears a very small pair of white shorts, and the starts of a blue sweater that leaves his torso exposed. Nolan introduces, "Everyone give a warm welcome to Gage."

Gage holds up a hand. "Don’t," he requests. "Greetings are offensive in several cultures."

"O… Kay," Nolan says as he blinks. He turns to Melinda. "We might have to edit those out."

Laverne says, "Goodness me. Why are you dressed like that? You’re going to catch cold there, mister." Laverne places her hands on her hips and shakes her head disapprovingly. "Let me whip you up a sweater, real quick." Laverne pulls out some knitting needles and yarn.

"No need," Gage assures, as he places one of his large hands over Laverne’s face and pushes her back. "I don’t get cold. I’m not like other people." He looks at the other players. He asks, "What is this season? ‘Oops, All Normies’? I must have stepped into the wrong hearse."

Paige raises an eyebrow. "You think these people are normal?"

Gage sneezes. He states, "Do you all like music?" They nod. "And having fun?" They nod, again. "See? Normies. I only listen to industrial noises, like grinding metal. And fun is for people without meaning in life."

"Do you think music killed his grandma, or something?" Wally asks he turns to Ivy. Ivy shrugs her shoulders.

"You sure know how to pick some real duds," Nolan whispers to Melinda.

Melinda admits, "He was, like, my 37th alternate."

Nolan nods and replies, "Checks out."

Gage folds his arms and says, "Don’t let me tell you how to live your lives, but you shouldn’t really be spew hate speech like that."

"You heard that?" Nolan asks with wide eyes.

Gage explains, "No. I read lips." He attempts to shrug, but his body appears to be stiff from the cold. "It’s just a thing I do. I learned how before it got popular."

"Lip reading is popular?" Quincy asks.

"I would say more, but I’m just… so warm, right now. I think I’m just going to stand here," Gage states.

"Is he okay?" Burton quietly asks.

"Does anyone care?" Paige retorts. Burton shrugs in response.

Evelyn points at Burton and asks, "You can hear that guy?" She slaps the side of her head. "I think my hearing is shot from being blast out of canons."

Paige replies, "I wear these." Paige holds out a set of earplugs. "I have extras if you want some."

"Dope!" Evelyn responds, as she takes a pair. "Thanks!" Sanjay looks on at the two as he rests his head on his hand.

Nolan announces, "Our next player is here!" Nolan begins to open the car door, and it bursts open, knocking the male host to the ground. "Meet Valencia…" An energetic Hispanic woman steps out of the hearse. She steps on Nolan on her way out. "Ouchie."

"Hola!" The woman exclaims. "Mi amo Valencia! It is most lovely to be here." She looks over at the other contestants before tossing a rose in their general direction. She stomps on the ground and claps to the side. "It appears we have a most lively group among us. I assure you that I will give this contest all that I have got! I hope you all do the same."

"Here, here," Olive dryly responds as she continues to scroll on her phone.

Valencia walks by Hoagie and Kayleigh, still making out. Valencia claps and says, "Ah! This is the kind of passion I am speaking of!" Nicole looks seething as she reassesses them. Valencia puts an arm around her neck and says, "It appears they also are making you sense their raw intensity. It is most contagious."

Valencia twirls as she leaves the area, leaving Nicole spinning in her wake. Valencia nears Gage, who does not seem to be moving. Icicles have formed on his lip. Valencia kicks a leg in the air and looks back at him. She asks, "What happened to mi amigo?"

"Looks like the guy is putting the ‘cool’ in ‘before it was cool’," A tall, dark, and handsome, young man steps out of the hearse. He wears a leather jacket over his baggy cream colored sweater. Valencia’s eyes widen as she looks at the newly arrived man."

"Everyone allow me to introduce Mason," Melinda introduces.

"You are quite literally the most handsome man I have ever had the pleasure to esperience," Valencia assures. Several other contestants nod in agreement.

"Aw, quit kidding around," Mason replies. He looks over at the other contestants. He whistles. "Is this Total Drama or a modeling competition? I definitely don’t belong here." Most of the others laugh. He looks at Gage. "But seriously. What is the frozen guy’s issue? I mean, if I had a body like that, I’d show it off, too, but come on."

"He seems like a bit of a hipster," Adara explains. "My suspicion is that he wants to give the impression that he is beyond human norms, like getting cold."

"Very astute, detective," Mason responds. Adara looks slightly embarrassed. "My apologies. I didn’t mean that sarcastically, I just have a little trouble sounding serious. So…uh…" Mason looks at the others. "Uh. Do you all like butter tarts?"

"What?" Paige asks, looking confused.

"Most definitely," Laverne says with a nod. "I’ll have to share my family recipe with you, there, sweetie." She digs through her bag. "I have it here somewhere."

Mason places a hand on his stomach. He insists, "Nah, it’s okay. I love sweets as much as the next guy, but I’m trying to cut back." Mason looks at Laverne and then turns to Melinda and asks, "You’re letting somebody’s mother compete? Seems a bit weird, but…"

Melinda maniacally laughs. Mason looks concerned. She explains, "Laverne is your age. You’re all eighteen."

Mason points at Laverne and says, "She’s my age? There’s no way. You can tell me the truth. Is she part of some sort of Grant-a-Wish for moms, or something?"

The next hearse arrives. The back window rolls down and someone can be heard singing, "Who can take a sundae, sprinkle it with sprinkles!" An eccentric looking woman emerges from the vehicle.

Mason looks shocked as the young black woman dressed to resemble ice cream steps of the hearse. He asks, "What in the literal fudge?"

"This is Dulce," Nolan introduces. "Another one of Melinda’s picks, if it’s not obvious."

Dulce continues to sing as she does a twirl, "Smother it with caramel, and a banana or two. The ice cream woman can… The ice cream woman can!" Valencia copies Dulce’s dance moves. Dulce ends with a bow. The others look on with their jaws dropped. Dulce introduces herself. "Hello, sugar dumplings!" She giggles. "I’m the sweet as a gumdrop, princess of ice cream. Teehee!"

Mason points at himself as he looks at Nolan, "Am I getting pranked right now? Is this one of those shows where everyone is an actor accept one person?" Nolan shakes his head.

Dulce stands under Mason and looks up at him with her head tilted back. She smiles sweetly and says, "I love your skin! It reminds of looking into the chocolate river in my daddy’s factory."

"Are there a lot of fumes in said factory?" Mason asks with a blink.

Dulce laughs and says, "No, silly. Hey! I’m looking for a prince to help me run my sweets empire, and you’d be perfect for the position."

Mason blinks. He responds, "Er… Yeah. I’m not sure if I’m the right choice for…"

Dulce smiles. She says, "I stopped listening at ‘yeah’."

Mason blinks. "I think you’re sweet and all…"

"I mean that is my brand," Dulce responds as she twirls her ice cream scoop inspired hair in a finger.

"But I…" Mason looks up at the next contestant. The window is rolled down, and a brown haired man slowly rises as he cautiously looks out the window. He opens the door and very cautiously steps out of the vehicle. Mason says, "Dayum. The guys this season are fine."

"Wait…" Dulce responds. "You mean you’re…"

"A raging homosexual?" Mason asks. He nods. "Yeppers."

Dulce frowns. She turns away and says, "You should have told me."

"Right," Mason responds. "I usually lead with that." The newly arrived contestant walks up with trepidation. "Hey, I’m Gayson… I mean, Mason." Mason awkwardly laughs and rubs the back of his head.

"Hey, man. I’m JJ," JJ introduces. He looks behind himself, as he stands in front of Mason. "Anyone know what’s up with the hearse?"

"It was pretty spooky," Dulce admits. "The hearse is an odd choice." JJ looks at Dulce and jumps.

JJ apologizes, "Sorry. I have that reaction a lot. It’s nothing personal, besides your outfit being completely terrifying." He looks at some other contestants. "Not unlike a bunch of the others here." JJ forces a smile, but his eyes show his worry. "I’m sure you all must be good people. Anyway, I meant how there was this creepy mime sitting in the back seat of the hearse."

"What?" Dulce asks.

JJ nods. He explains, "She was just sitting there staring at me. It was real."  A sharp sound of a violin screeching can be heard as JJ looks into the hearse and sees the mime ominously staring back at him. "Eep!" JJ jumps into Mason’s arms. "Sorry, man. I know I’m overreacting." JJ releases a deep sigh.

"You can stay here as long as you like," Mason assures.

"Aw, that’s nice," JJ replies. He then abruptly screams, and grasps Mason tighter. Mason smiles. "She’s there. Right there. You have to see her."

Mason asks, "Who are we talking about?" He continues to look down at JJ.

"That creep as frig mime, bro," JJ replies. "Wait… Am I the only one that can see her?!" JJ has a hand on Mason’s chest. "I’ve finally lost it. I… Hold up, bro." JJ looks down at Mason’s muscular chest. "You’re massive, it’s kinda scary." JJ seems preoccupied as he squeezes Mason’s pec with his hand.

Mason winces slightly. He looks over. "Now I see her." Mason nervously asks the mime, "Is this what you’ve come for?" He drops JJ to the ground and raises his arms to the air. "He means nothing to me. He’s all yours, just please spare me."

JJ states in an annoyed manner, "Gee. Thanks for leaving me for dead meat, bro." He rubs his sore backside with his hand.

Nolan introduces, "Everyone this is Francie. She’s not really that pale. She’s actually just a mime." Francie waves. She puts her hand out and Nolan goes to shake her hand. She then twists her hand like she’s opening an imaginary door knob. She walks right by Nolan. Nolan frowns. He says, "Yeah, she’s…"

"One of Melinda’s choices?" Rhys asks. "We can tell." Ulysses smiles.

"Y’all are smart," Nolan admits. "Now that’s the lot of you. Welcome to your new home for the coming weeks."

"Make yourself at home," Melinda welcomes. "Just try not to touch anything, or wander around aimlessly. There’s a lot of rooms in this lodge." She taps her fingertips together. "We wouldn’t want you to get lost, now would we."

"We’re staying th-th-th-there?" JJ asks with a gulp. He shakily points at the lodge.

"I know," Quincy replies. "Sucks that we can’t be outside, right? By the way, I’m Quincy."

"Oh, hey, man. I’m J…" JJ begins. Quincy moves right past JJ to kiss Mason’s cheeks to greet him. Mason blushes. JJ looks at them for a moment. He lets out a long winded, "Ooooooh! Just so you guys know. I am a proud ally." He raises a fist in the air. "Queer is here to stay."

Nicole rubs her chin. "Wait. I thought that camper guy liked teen mom."

Sanjay laughs. He says, "I mean, I’m sure there’s a market for that somewhere." Nicole looks over at Sanjay with a raised eyebrow.

Melinda turns to the camera. "Now you’ve met our houseguests. On our next spooktastic episode, our competitors will tour the lodge, meet their teams, and compete in their first challenge and elimination."

Nolan presses his hands to his chin in an excited manner. "I can’t wait! See you next time!" Nolan waves at the camera, as Melinda smiles ominously.

### Chapter 2 - Theater Major Disappointment

The hostess in dark attire turns toward the camera. She is seated in a large maroon armchair. She says, "Oh! Good evening. I didn’t see you there." She turns to the table next to her and grasps a candelabra with several lit candles on it. She stands as she holds the candelabra in her hand. "My name is Melinda, and I welcome you to…"

A dopey looking man with a wide grin walks up from offstage and asks, "Hey! Where’d you get the cool fire stick? Isn’t that hot holding it like that?" Nolan reaches out and immediately has his hand slapped by Melinda. He pouts as he rubs his hand. "That wasn’t very nice."

"Neither was walking into my shot unannounced," Melinda replies, as she rubs the bridge of her nose with her free hand.

"We’re on camera?” Nolan’s eyes slowly shift toward the camera. He blinks. He looks down. "I should’ve changed out of my designated chili dog consumption shirt, huh?" He shrugs. "Heck with it. It’s kind of a blessing for my entire public persona being no one having any expectations of me… That reminds me. Hi, mom! Okay. That’s enough man candy for one intro." He smiles, makes a clicking sound with his tongue, and waves at the camera before walking out of view.

Melinda’s eyelids are lowered as she does not seem amused. "As I was saying… Welcome to Total… Drama… Lodge!" Lightning can be seen flashing from a nearby window.

Nolan adds from off camera, "How is there lightning? It’s like… winter outside."

Melinda ignores Nolan as she continues, "We introduced twenty-four unsuspecting…" Melinda grins. "I mean… eclectic teens in our previous episode. Tonight, watch in terror as they explore their residence, marvel as they learn who their teammates will be, and tremble at the sight of the contestants compete in the most indisputably terrifying challenge in Total Drama history!"

"Sorry. We weren’t given clearance to do the coffin full of worms challenge," Nolan clarifies.

Melinda smiles with a sinister look on her face. "Oh, this is even scarier than that." Nolan can be heard gasping off screen. "Oh, yes!" Melinda taps her fingertips together. "Let the games begin!"

Nolan shouts, "Woop!" several times from off screen.

The contestants are shown outside the imposing lodge just after their arrival. Nolan and Melinda lead the players inside. Ty, the noticeably muscular, self deprecating teen, offers, "Oh, hey. Connie. I’d be more than happy to carry your luggage for you." He looks down. "Not that it’s any of my business, but you sure brought a lot."

Connie insists, "No, no! As Lieutenant General Honeysuckle once said, ‘Senshi are doing it for themselves!’"

"Lieutenant General Honeysuckle?" Ty repeats. Connie nods. Ty slaps his cheek. "Wow! She’s so highly respected among the Defenders of the Eternal Star Squad."

Connie nods and adds, "Ah. Yes. DotESS."

Ty puts a hand over his sternum before giving a slight bow. He continues, "It would be my honor to respect your wishes in her beha…"

Olive, the statuesque influencer, tosses a heavy alligator skin suitcase into Ty’s bulky arms. He stumbles back a step. Olive says, "Aw, thank you so much for the offer."

"Actually," Connie begins. "I don’t think it was an open…"

Olive has her eyes focused on her phone as she adds, "I have six more bags."

"Are they all made from animals?" Connie asks, her brow furrowed.

"Excuse me. I’ll have you know this is faux alligator," Olive defensively retorts.

Connie looks surprised. "Really? It looks so real, you’ll have to tell me your supplier." Connie places a hand on the bag.

Olive nods. She assures, "This bag was made from the hides of three crocodiles. No alligators were harmed in the process."

"Wait…" Connie says as she looks blank.

Olive snaps her fingers and states, "Come along, Muscle Mass." Olive frowns. "It really is a shame. You wouldn’t be half bad looking if muscles were trending right now. Right now, dad bods are all the rage." Nolan pumps his fist. Olive steps are audible as she walks ahead of Ty and the others. Connie looks at her with a scowl.

Connie rolls up one of her sleeves as she asks, "Would you like me to smite her?"

"What? Why?" Ty asks, as he shakes his head.

Connie explains, "Did you not just witness how she spoke to you? She didn’t even thank you."

Ty responds, "I’m what you’d call a giver. If I can make someone’s life easier, that’s all the thanks I need. Besides, my nickname back home is Deadlift. Partly because lifting is the only thing I’m good at, and the other part is because my friends liken me to dead weight." Connie looks surprised. "Anyway. I better move along if I want to reach the lodge by sundown." Ty runs ahead, with his arms full of Olive’s luggage.

Connie looks on and shakes her head. "How disconcerting."

"Oh, yeah?" The teen with a large Afro, and tacky, bright pink suit replies. "That’s what people usually say about me. I’m Wally." Wally extends his hand to shake Connie’s hand. Wally looks like he has been hit by a jolt of electricity.

"What’s wrong?" Connie asks, looking concerned.

Wally looks down at his hand and sighs. He explains, "I put my Shock Shaker on backwards, yet again." He adjusts the device. "Let’s try that, aga…" Connie walks away, looking unimpressed. "And she’s gone…" From inside his suit’s breast pocket, his rabbit assistant, Minkey Boodle, puts a paw over her face to show her second hand embarrassment.

The others follow along toward the imposing lodge. Kayleigh, the affectionate woman with blonde hair with pink highlights, takes Hoagie, the sturdy, long haired metal fan, by the hand. Kayleigh asks, "I wonder how soon I can earn a night in the honeymoon suite." She turns toward Hoagie with a smile. She notices his attention elsewhere. "What is it, Hoags?"

Hoagie looks back and asks, "It’s nothing. I just was wondering if anyone was going to help out that skinny dude. He’s still frozen in place back there." Hoagie stops. "I’m gonna…"

"Good eye, Sunshine," the small, muscular Xiong appears randomly beside Hoagie and Kayleigh. Hoagie is clearly startled. "I got him." Xiong saunters over to the lanky Gage, and tilts his stiff body forward to get a good grip on him.

Hoagie begins, "Let me help…"

"No need, Sunshine," Xiong replies. He holds Gage at the waist under his arm as he easily carries him toward the Lodge.

Kayleigh looks impressed, as Hoagie’s eyebrows are raised as he looks at her. Kayleigh says, "Ooh. Shawtie is kinda impressive."

Hoagie insists, "Hey, I coulda done that." He looks after him. "Plus… I wish he wouldn’t call me ‘Sunshine’."

"I think it’s sweet," Kayleigh states. She smirks.

"You think?" Hoagie shrugs. "It’s just not very metal. Like… Ha-chow! You know? That was kind of metal of him to carry that dude all by himself, though." Hoagie sticks out his lips as he looks over at the hosts.

"We’re here!" Nolan excitedly announces.

Dulce, the ice cream industry heiress, holds up one of her shoes to get a stone to fall out of it. She complains, "And it was a rocky road just to get here."

"Welcome to your new home for the remainder of the competition," Melinda announces. The contestants mostly cheer. "You can leave your belongings here. Our staff will bring your things to your respective rooms. But for now, feel free to get to know your new home!" Melinda opens the door to the expansive lodge. The contestants look on in excitement.

Sanjay, the excitable romance enthusiast, claps his hands together. "I’m so excited to watch the love bloom." He squeals and then states, "I can’t hardly wait!"

Nicole, the grumpy teen with stark orange hair, replies, "Please. It’s already happening. Take these two..." Her eyes dart over to Quincy, the flamboyant camping enthusiast, as Laverne, the doting mom-like teen, as Laverne assists Quincy with tucking his shirt into his overalls.

"Can’t let you look disheveled for the big second episode now can I there, Shmoopie?" Laverne asks.

Quincy looks around, with his hands on the straps of his backpack. He looks disappointed with the lodgings. He responds, "Oh. I suppose not, cherie."

"My name is Laverne, mister, not Cherie," Laverne reprimands. "It’s not polite to not remember people’s names.

"Oh, merci, mon ami," Quincy responds, half paying attention.

Laverne adds, "That’ll be thirty lashes with a wet noodle."

"See?" Nicole replies to Sanjay with her arms extended. "The romantic tension is palpable."

Sanjay taps his cheek with one of his fingers. "I don’t think Quincy likes girls."

"He what?" Nicole replies, looking surprised. "That can’t be right."

"I wonder if this place has any romantic overlooks." He clasps his hands together before wandering off. Nicole looks after him with a raised eyebrow.

In a sitting room, Evelyn, the tall, dark skinned daredevil, steps up to biker, Paige, and slaps her on the shoulder. Paige looks annoyed, as she looks up from a comfy looking, high backed armchair placed near a fireplace. Evelyn asks, "Hey, lady. Did you have a chance to explore this place much?"

Paige blushes slightly as she responds, "Oh, it’s you. Hey. Yeah. I got a look at the garage. It actually ain’t half bad. It’s heated, and almost looks like a professional shop. Still worried about my bike, though."

"I wouldn’t be," Evelyn assures. She points at herself. "If anything happens to it, they’ll have to answer to me."

Paige looks to the side. "You find anything of interest, yet?"

Evelyn smiles widely and answers, "There’s a window on the top floor that looks like a beast to jump out of. I’d do it now, but I want to wait to be set on fire before the big jump."

Paige laughs slightly. She responds, "You’re too funny." Evelyn looks confused.

"Ah," a young Asian woman in a green dress, holding a carnivorous plant says as she steps up. "Konnichiwa! I hope you are finding our accommodations most relaxing. I was quite pleased to find an elaborate greenhouse."

"That’s epic," Evelyn responds. "You can put your little dude in there… Ivy, right?"

Ivy nods in response. She explains, "Audrey III does not have gender."

"Non-binary, huh?" Evelyn replies. She nudges Paige’s arm and adds, "Pretty progressive for a plant, am I right?" Paige laughs slightly.

"Audrey III also is known to not play well with other plants, so it is best that they stay near me," Ivy further explains. Ivy bows slightly and says, "Please pardon my rudeness, but there is something that is bothering me."

Evelyn encourages, "Go off. We have pretty thick skin. He can handle it."

Ivy nods thoughtfully, as she grabs hold of the chair Paige is sitting in. Paige grasps both arms of the chair tightly with wide eyes, as Ivy turns the chair to face toward the fireplace at an angle. Ivy breathes a heavy sigh of relief. She assures, "Now we will all be better able equipped to have a refreshing night’s slumber. Good night, ladies."

Evelyn looks on with raised eyebrows as Ivy walks away. "Bold. I like her." Paige grimaces and gives a slight nod.

"Gather ‘round, one and all," Melinda beckons from the lobby of the elaborate residence. The contestants gather near her and Nolan. "My sincerest wish is that you all are pleased with your new accommodations." Melinda clasps her hands together.

Valencia, the outgoing Hispanic woman, assures, "This place could not be more beautiful, more luxurious, more inspiring." Several others nod.

"It has every room you could imagine," Adara, the crime podcaster, observes. "Though the locked doors are pretty intriguing." Adara places a thumb on her chin.

Melinda assures, "Some rooms are off limits, at least for the time being. Our sincerest apologies."

"My only complaint is the lack of balls in the ball room," Mason, the aspiring comedian, chimes in. He gets several blank stares. He pulls out a small notebook, and admits, "I’ll need to workshop that one."

"Francie, anything you’d like to express?" Nolan asks. The mime adorned in all black and white holds up two thumbs. "She’s speechless." Nolan laughs at his own joke. A few others laugh, as well.

"Come on!" Mason shouts. "My joke was way funnier than that."

Melinda adds, "Now that you are all getting acquainted, I will have Nolan announce the teams. Nolan?"

Nolan nods. "This season will be made of three teams of eight players each."

"Three teams?" Dulce asks. "That’s a twist."

Nolan pulls out a pair of reading glasses and places them on his face. He reads, "Our first team, The Listless Lions, are made up of Connie, Evelyn, Francie, Gage, Ty, Valencia, Wally, and Xiong."

Gage, the now fully thawed out hipster, responds, "I don’t really believe in the constricts of the ‘team’ dynamic."

Melinda replies, "We ask you to just suspend your disbelief for the duration of the team portion of the competition then."

Gage replies as he holds up his hands, "No need to jump down my throat for having an opinion." Melinda raises an eyebrow in response.

Nolan looks down at the next team. He announces, "The Tenacious Tigers. This team is made up of Burton, Kayleigh, Laverne, Mason, Nicole, Paige, Quincy, and Sanjay."

Hoagie frowns as he looks over at Kayleigh. She quickly places her arms around Quincy and Mason. "We got a nice looking team here," Kayleigh assures. "Who’s the single bachelor we’re competing for, again?"

"You’re not pursuing a bachelor," Melinda clarifies.

"Bachelorette, then," Kayleigh responds, "I’m not too picky."

"That explains the interest in ‘Hair Metal’ over there," Nicole adds, as a few others laugh at Hoagie’s expense. He seems mostly aloof.

"Our third team is called the Bewildered Bears," Nolan announces.

"Made up of me, being Adara, Dulce, Hoagie, Ivy, JJ, Olive, Rhys, and Ulysses," Adara deducts. "In alphabetical order, like the other team announcements."

Nolan nods and says, "Wow, very good. That’s correct."

"That was pretty impressive," JJ, the easily frightened teen, commends. "How did you figure that out?"

Adara assures, "It was just simple process of elimination. Nothing special."

"Still," JJ adds. "Remembering all our names… You mean business." Adara holds out a hand and casually bends her wrist a few times.

Rhys, the red haired streamer, laments, as he places an arm around Ulysses shoulder, "Aw, my dear, sweet, monochromatic, U-U. I was hoping to be on a team together."

Ulysses, the nervous Hispanic teen, assures, "We are, R-Rhys. My actual name is Ulysses."

"Oh!" Rhys responds in realization. "This is going to be like playing multiplayer." He hugs Ulysses tight. He backs up and explains, "I’ll be Player 1, since I’m clearly the more memorable between the two of us."

Ulysses blinks. "Hey, I don’t…"

Rhys raises a hand. He asks, "Hey, hey! Mr. Host Guy! The one with the teeth too big for his face!"

Nolan lowers his eyelids and responds, "Yes, Rhys?"

"Do we all share a room together?" Rhys asks.

Nolan nods. He explains, "Each team will have two rooms each, one for the guys, and one for the ladies."

Rhys pulls Ulysses tight to him, "I call big spoon." Ulysses face turns bright red, again.

Nolan blinks. "I guess you can share if you want, but there are enough beds for everyone."

"My guy, I forgot to mention that player 2 is always the cuter of the two options…" Rhys turns to Ulysses and asks, "By the way, what were you saying earlier?"

"N…" Ulysses begins, his face slightly red. "Never mind…"

The following morning, Gage is seen looking through the kitchen pantry. He looks generally disinterested. "A very berry good morning to you!" A voice says from behind.

"Eh," Gage responds dismissively.

"I was just trying to be cordial," Dulce assures. She thoughtfully places a finger on one of her cheeks. "You seem to be waffling on a decision."

Without looking away from the pantry, Gage explains, "All these food choices are so vanilla."

Dulce laughs, and excitedly claps her hands. Gage looks at her with a nonplused expression. "You mean vanilla… as a bad thing?" Dulce smiles, exposing her braces. "Sweet! Well, you’re in luck. My parents provided the food for this season, and we pride ourselves in our variety…"

"Is that how you got cast?" Gage asks with an eyebrow raise.

"No, no," Dulce assures. "Being on the season is just the cherry on top." Dulce swings open a large door that leads to a walk in freezer. "Behold!" She clears her throat. She begins to sing.

"Step inside,

And you’ll find…

You’re in a world,

Of frozen confections!

If you can’t,

Make up your mind,

I have suggestions!

If you want to taste,

Some shaved ice,

Open up your face,

And chew it…"

Gage looks at her blankly. He turns away and says, "No. I’m good."

Dulce seems bewildered. She replies, "You just said no to ice cream? I only get rejected once in a blue moon. I’ll have you know that our company’s flavors are mint."

"I don’t like mint," Gage responds. "Or anything in the top ten most popular flavors."

"No, I meant mint as in good," Dulce clarifies. "Well, we also have mint, but…" Dulce grabs a random container of ice cream and hands it to Gage. "Try this one."

Gage looks down at the container. He reads, "’Robert Brownie Jr.’ Is that a reference to something?"

"I’m so glad you asked! We give our ice cream flavors clever names based on the most current pop culture references," Dulce explains.

"That would explain why I don’t get it," Gage replies, nonchalantly. "Is this stuff gluten free?"

"Uh huh!" Dulce answers quickly.

"And soy free?" Gage asks. Dulce excitedly nods. Gage raises his oddly shaped eyebrow for a second time. "Dairy free?"

"If I keep saying yes will you finally try some?" Dulce asks. Gage stares back at Dulce, before simply handing her the carton of ice cream and walking out of the kitchen. Dulce looks on, clearly annoyed.

Dulce folds her arms as she speaks in the sauna that doubles as a confessional. Dulce explains, "That Gage guy is a tough maple nut to crack. That hit me like a ton of brickle. I just need someone to try some of our ice cream for my strategy to work…" Dulce pouts as she looks to the side. "Plus… My fam wants me to help promote our brand." Dulce smiles toward the camera and holds up a carton of ice cream. "I guess I can do that here! If you dream of ice cream, dream of Jen and Berry’s! Enough is never enough!" Dulce awkwardly smiles at the camera, as she holds the carton to her face. The container bursts open, and the now melted liquid covers Dulce.

The contestants are shown looking around as they’re gathered in front of a large set of doors. Melinda has her hands held upward as she announces, "Welcome to your first challenge!"

"This is going to rock!" Hoagie exclaims.

Melinda states, "Each team will be in charge of creating, producing, and performing their own…"

"This is going to be so scary…" Nolan states, looking uneasy

Melinda pushes open the doors, as she states, "Musicals!" The contestants gasp.

"Musicals?" Nolan states, with his mouth agape. "I thought you said this would be the scariest challenge in the show’s history."

"Wait…" JJ begins. "We’re going to have to s-s-s-sing in front of a live audience?" His eyes wide. The contestants clamor in the background.

"And wear tacky costumes?" Olive adds. "My followers will think I’ve lost my credible taste level!"

"Oh, the humanity!” Someone can be heard yelling from the crowd.

Nolan looks on at the panicking contestants. He turns toward Melinda and apologizes, "I guess I was wrong." Melinda smirks.

Valencia holds her hands together as the only person who seems excited. She exclaims, "Magnifico! The artistry, opulence, and drama of the theater! It is what I breathe for! It’s what brings meaning to my life!"

Mason raises his hand and asks, "Is it too late to put her on our team?"

Burton smiles, he and his colorful clothing brightening up the room. "I think our team is perfect the way it is." Closed captioning clarifies what the quiet teen is saying.

Mason nods and smiles. He states, "The way you mouth words without saying anything is a pretty iconic party trick. I can pop my shoulder out of joint. Watch." Mason demonstrates his talent. Burton looks on with wide eyes. "Pretty cool, huh?" Burton nods. Mason’s arm dangles down. "I haven’t mastered popping it back in, yet, but… I got that first part down." Burton looks on with wide eyes.

"We have all the supplies needed for each team to crash and burn…" Melinda explains, rubbing her hands together.

Nolan jolts. He turns to the contestants and assures, "Uh. I’m sure what Melinda means to say is that you’ll all do great. We’ll leave you to it."

Laverne looks at Mason with concern. "Does anyone know how to fix a dislocated shoulder?" She digs through a purse. "I have a lozenge. Will a lozenge help?"

Ty walks up and fixes Mason’s shoulder. "Sorry," the apologetic teen says. "I should have asked for consent first."

Mason rotates his shoulder. "No apology needed, guy. My bad for trying too hard to impress people. How long have you been able to do something like that?"

Ty looks confused. He asks, "The shoulder thing?" Mason nods. "That was my first time. Surprised I didn’t do more damage, but I felt obligated to help." Ty awkwardly walks off as Mason looks on, with concern.

Burton steps up to Mason and places his hands on his shoulders. He says, "Please promise me you’ll never do that, again."

Mason smiles and nods. "Sure, bro. Whatever you say." Burton heaves a sigh of relief before walking toward his team’s stage. Mason blinks. He adds to himself, "Whatever he said…" He looks over at Quincy, the outdoor enthusiast. "Can you hear this guy, or is it just me?" Quincy shakes his head. "I guess the more mimes the merrier, I always say."

Quincy lets out a sigh. His large chest heaves as he does so. He looks from Mason, to a window. "I wish I wasn’t here, right now." Quincy slouches his shoulders forward as he walks toward the theater.

Mason blinks. "Gee. I thought we had something."

Quincy says, from within the confessional, "If I knew I was going to be forced to sleep under a roof, I could have gotten that at home. No?"

The Bewildered Bears are on their team’s stage. "We should definitely start by assigning roles," Adara states. She picks up a clipboard and asks, "What is everyone good at?"

Rhys abruptly takes the clipboard from Adara and hands it to an unsuspecting Ulysses. Rhys states, "I’m obviously the only option for director. Ulysses here will be my assistant."

"Oof," Ulysses responds, as he is hit with the clipboard.

"Fine, I’ll be the leading lady, you can all calm down, now," Olive states as she looks at her phone.

Adara responds, "Great. Do you have acting experience?" Olive does not respond. "Musical talent?"

"Talent?" Olive repeats. She scoffs. "I didn’t get to where I am today based on something silly like talent."

JJ puts a hand over his mouth as he whispers to Adara, "She admits it. She’s so self aware, it’s scary…" JJ and Adara look over at Olive taking a selfie as she digs through a trunk full of fabric. "Or should I say selfie aware." Adara laughs.

Rhys assigns, "Ivy will be responsible for set decoration, and a minor role as a gardener." Ivy bows. "Dulce can write the music, and portray the nursemaid."

"And provide catering," Dulce volunteers in a sing song voice.

Rhys shakes his head. "No need. I work best when I haven’t eaten in a few days." Dulce pouts. "Now let’s see… Adara will be responsible for costuming… And… JJ, you’ll be the lead male love interest." Ulysses frantically writes everything down.

JJ stops laughing as he yells. He points at himself. He asks, "M-m-m-me?"

"Correctamundo," Rhys responds.

"What?" JJ asks. "Why? I can’t sing or dance."

"We’ll add that in post," Rhys replies.

"He knows this is supposed to be live, right?" Adara asks. JJ frowns and shrugs.

Rhys explains, "Look. Jay Bird. Can I call you Jay Bird?" JJ shakes his head. "Jay Bird, my man, I hate to break it to you, but Ulysses and I will be handling the important behind the scenes stuff, which leaves you and Hoagie as my options for lead, and… Well…" They look over at Hoagie sitting in the corner head banging.

JJ lowers his eyelids. "I see your point." Seeming defeated, he waves his arms in the air and says, "Let’s get to the musical numbers."

On the Listless Lions’ stage, Valencia dances as Wally and Francie fail to keep up with her choreography. Connie recites a magical girl monologue awkwardly, and Xiong walks around on his hands. From the seats, Gage states, "Not that I care how this turns out, but I think this is going to be a train wreck. Typically recordings of train wrecks are what helps me fall asleep at night, but I feel this will be the opposite."

Ty sits down next to him. He smiles and assures, "I’d be happy to sit this one out, and let those with real talent take the lead. Let me know if there’s any behind the scenes stuff I can do."

"What makes you think I’m in charge?" Gage asks. He looks at Ty, who forces a smile. Gage looks away from him. "It’s the beard, isn’t it?" Ty nods. "What we need is cohesion. If everyone just does their own thing, because they feel it in their heart, or whatever nonsense, the play won’t make any sense. Which… I guess I don’t mind the absurdist nature of the idea, now that we talk about it…" Gage strokes his beard.

"Maybe this is presumptuous of me, but…" Ty scratches the back of his head. He states, "When they mentioned a musical, I’ve never really seen one… In the last twenty minutes, I decided to scribble down some random ideas. I’m no writer or anything, but… If you think it’ll help." Ty hands Gage a script.

Gage rolls his eyes before saying, "I’m sure it’ll be better than a sharp javelin to the eye." He begins reading. After ten minutes. He tosses the script over to Ty.

"It was bad?" Ty asks. "I can take the criticism." Gage opens his mouth. Ty buries his head in his massive arms, as he begins hyperventilating.

Gage frowns. He admits, "It’s unexpected. Surprisingly coherent. And I can see the masses eating it up. In short… I hate it." Ty winces. "But we’re going for… m-m-mainstream appeal…" Gage spits to the side. "And I think this gives us a shot at winning this thing. We should roll with it." Gage puts a hand on his chest after making a sour face. "I threw up in my mouth a little just saying all of that."

Ty is tearful as he excitedly leaps over and hugs Gage. "Your words of approval mean everything to me. I’ll go transcribe copies for everyone." Ty excitedly runs off, clicking his heels together as he leaves.

Gage frowns. "This is why I avoid getting myself involved in normie things like this." He glares to the side.

Connie appears in confessional and explains, "Ty handed us all scripts for this amazing production he wrote. It’s about the conception and inner workings of a traveling circus and freak show. I’m playing the bearded lady, Gage is the master of ceremonies, Valencia is playing an acrobat, Ty is the strong man, Wally is a magician, Francie is a clown with no speaking part, Evelyn is a fire eater, and Xiong is going to be a tattooed contortionist." Connie places a finger on her chin. "It’s like the roles were written for us. And the idea is so original!" Connie places her hands on her hips. "I’m also in charge of costumes. There was plenty of fabric provided, but there isn’t a ton of time, so I better get straight to work." Connie makes a peace sign and holds it over one eye as she winks with the opposite eye.

Nicole paces back and forth on stage, with Sanjay standing behind her holding a clipboard, as the rest of the Tenacious Tigers team sits in the audience. Nicole announces through a megaphone, "I was unanimously voted as leader in this challenge."

Mason leans toward Kayleigh and states, "Isn’t she the only one that voted?" Kayleigh laughs.

"Silence," Nicole states with a foot stomp. Mason and Kayleigh sit up straight in their chairs as they look toward the stage. "We will perform an epic story where the lead character mourns for his deceased father, and chooses the crown over his love interest." Nicole smirks. "I wanted to go with a real feel good story." The contestants in the audience look at each other with concern. "I have taken it upon myself to assign roles for everyone. I will be director. Sanjay will be my assistant, as well as in charge of costumes. Laverne, you will be playing the mother hen. Kayleigh will be a lovebird…"

"Talk about typecasting," Mason states. The others laugh.

"Ahem!" Nicole continues as she paces, "Burton will be in charge of the behind the scenes production. Quincy will have the role of a rooster."

Mason looks at Quincy and states, "Cock-a-doodle doo." The others laugh.

Nicole smirks. She addresses Mason, "And you, Funny Boy, since you like attention so much, will be our lead."

Mason asks, "Really? I mean, this isn’t my specialty, but… I was born on the stage… Which I hear was a nightmare to clean up…"

Nicole explains, "I will expect nothing but perfection. One slip up, or you not taking the challenge seriously, and I will not let you forget it."

Mason places a hand on his muscular chest. "Me? Not take something serious?" He coughs. "Excuse me one second." He coughs, again, and seems to pull a celery stalk from his nose. "How did that get in there?" The others laugh, again. Sanjay laughs, as well. Nicole glares back at him.

On the Bewildered Bears, JJ and Olive are rehearsing a scene together. JJ holds Olive’s hand in his. He says, "If only our families understood our love and desire to be good people."

"Uh huh," Olive replies, as she looks at her phone.

JJ shifts his lips toward Olive and whispers, "Your line is ‘I just want to treasure this moment forever.’’"

Olive continues to look at her phone. "Uh huh."

JJ frowns. "I also wish I could find a partner committed to what we have here."

"Omg, I know right," Olive states, still scrolling on her phone. "Bae, let’s put a hold on whatever you’re saying and focus on me right now. I’ve kind of been lowkey into doom scrolling. It’s where you browse social media looking for posts from people whose lives are way more pathetic than yours. It makes me feel even better about myself, which is pretty hard to do."

JJ puts a hand over his face as he shakes his head. Rhys states from the audience, "I’m not really feeling this scene. Olive… Your performance is true to life. No notes. JJ… I need you to take this more seriously."

"Me?!" JJ asks, in disbelief.

Rhys moves a finger around his director’s beret. "You know what this scene needs?"

"An actress?" JJ asks.

Rhys shakes his head. "No. I need you to kiss, right now. U-U, write that in." Ulysses nods and makes a revision to the script.

JJ’s eyes get wide. Olive doesn’t seem to be fazed. She states, "How tame."

Rhys responds, "Yes. But we need to keep this production E for Everyone.

JJ holds up his hands and insists, "I did not agree to this kissing thing."

Ulysses looks at his clipboard and states, "Statistics do show that romance and violence are the two leading crowd pleasing dynamics to a performance."

"What he said," Rhys agrees with a nod. "If we want to be winners, we need to give the weird host people what they want."

"Fine," JJ agrees. "But no tongue, and keep your hands where I can see them."

"Easy," Olive states, as she holds her phone in front of her face with both hands. JJ approaches Olive, crouches down and stands in between her face and her arms. JJ gulps before leaning in to kiss her. He quickly backs away with a wince.

Rhys blinks his eyes a few times. "What was that? There was no feeling. No passion."

"That was all him," Olive assures, as she points at JJ with the hand not holding her phone. "When I look like this, I don’t need to put effort in."

"Ulysses, can you help me explain what we’re looking for here?" Rhys asks.

Ulysses nods. He assures, "A-anything for you…"

Rhys leans in, pulls Ulysses toward him by the collar, and kisses Ulysses. A stunned Ulysses’ face turns deep red. Rhys pulls back, leaving a stunned Ulysses staring blankly in his seat. Rhys states, "See? That’s the kind of passion I’m looking for. We just proved that you can make romance look easy, even when there is absolutely no romantic feelings between the two parties involved." Ulysses still looks straight forward, his eyes wide.

JJ looks on with wide eyes. He admits, "I kind of felt that, I’m not gonna lie." He shrugs. "I guess I have work to do." The actors end their rehearsal and step off stage.

Dulce steps up with two containers of ice cream in her hands. She says, "Hello, gentlemen! You both look like you’re wasting away to nothing! This may sound a little nutty, but I thought I’d offer you some of my family’s ice cream. I brought a chunk of flavors. No need to thank me."

Ulysses smiles. "I’ll take…" Ulysses begins.

Rhys interrupts, "No thanks." Ulysses looks a little disappointed as he looks at Rhys. "I only eat food from fast food chains created by popular streamers, and U-U here is watching his figure. Right, U-U?" Ulysses reluctantly nods.

Dulce frowns and states, "You obviously have a chip on your shoulder." Dulce storms away in a huff, taking her ice cream with her.

Rhys places a hand on Ulysses shoulder. Ulysses blushes. "I think our play is missing something." Rhys takes hold of Ulysses wrist and places the pen he is holding beneath his own lower lip. "Any ideas?"

Ulysses thinks for a moment. "There isn’t really much of a conflict."

Rhys shakes his head, and replies, "No, no, no."

"Sorry," Ulysses apologizes.

Rhys eyes light up. He holds a finger in the air. "I feel like I just leveled up." He puts an arm around Ulysses shoulder. He holds his opposite hand in the air to help him visualize. "What we need is a boss fight! The big bad."

"Uh… Great idea, Rhys," Ulysses assures with a sincere smile.

Rhys goes on, "It can’t be me. I don’t have anything antagonistic about me, plus I’m wrapped up in taking the lead here. It can’t be you, what with your weak chin…" Ulysses blinks. "I wish we had another option…" Ivy steps on stage and points across the stage. She walks off, as Hoagie walks across the stage carrying a box of heavy materials. Rhys smiles wide. He points at a surprised Hoagie. "You there!"

"Yeah?" Hoagie asks.

Rhys asks, "Can you think of anybody that can play a bad guy in this play thing?"

Hoagie shrugs and says, "Not really, no." He keeps walking. He accidentally drops the box he’s carrying. He quickly lets out a guttural scream and kicks the side of the box. He regains his composure, and then looks embarrassed. He apologizes, "Sorry about that." He rubs the back of his head. "I’ve got a lot going on back home, and sometimes I can’t hold it all in." He lifts the box back up. "I’ll get out of your short, boy band style hair."

Rhys rubs his chin with Ulysses hand. "A tragic backstory… Unbridled emotional pain… My main man, I’ve had a stroke of brilliance." He stands up abruptly, points at Hoagie, and states, "My dude… You really should be in therapy if you aren’t already."

Hoagie nods and says, "Yeah… Thanks. I’ll consider it." He begins to walk, again.

Ulysses places a hand over his face. He says to Rhys, "Doesn’t that guy play drums? Maybe he’s musically inclined."

Rhys nods, and responds, "Oh, I think you’re right." Rhys turns back to the stage. He states, "Hey… Hogart, my guy. You’re into music, right?" A sincere smile spreads across his face. He nods rapidly, his hair flinging back and forth. "How would you like to audition for the big show? We need a tortured type."

Hoagie shakes his head. "Nah. I’m more of a background kind of guy, ya know?"

Rhys frowns. "Huh. I would have taken you as someone who would enjoy the rush of being on stage. The feeling of the lights. The roar of the crowd."

Hoagie smiles wide. He drops to his knees and says, "Yeaaaah, man! Sign me up!"

"Slow down, my fella. You will need to audition first," Rhys assures. He nudges Ulysses’ arm. Ulysses walks over and hands Hoagie a script. "We don’t have a part written for you, yet. U-U will get right on that if you get the role, just look at the script and select a…"

Hoagie taps on a chair. He opens his mouth to sing. He holds a fist in the air. Time seems to slow down, as Rhys and Ulysses are instantly stunned by the immeasurable talent in front of them. Tears stream down Ulysses face.

Upon finishing, Hoagie states, "Aw, man. My singing was so bad, it looks like the little guy burst into tears. I’ll see myself off stage."

Rhys stands up. "So raw. So much power." He states, "Two words. You’re in!"

"Isn’t that four words?" Hoagie asks, putting up two fingers, and looking confused. "Or are we not counting the part where you said ‘two words’?"

"You got the part, my guy," Rhys clarifies, with a concerned eyebrow raise.

Hoagie pumps his fist. "Alright! I promise not to let you all down!" He runs into a curtain, gets wrapped in it, before immediately falling off stage.

Rhys and Ulysses blink. Rhys quickly turns away from Hoagie. "Start writing, U-U. We’re changing this to a rock opera." Ulysses nods and holds his head down as he begins writing. "I think we found our secret weapon." Rhys rubs his hands together.

On the Listless Lions team, in a lavish looking room, Connie sets down a case on a small table. She opens it to reveal multiple pens. Ty steps up holding his costume. "This looks great! I can’t believe you sewed this so quick."

Connie wipes her brow and states, "Thanks! It really took much longer than I intended to. With seven more costumes to design, and not much time, I don’t know what I’m going to do. Now they want me to draw on Xiong’s tattoos…" She takes a deep breath and centers herself. "In the names of the stars… It’ll all work out fine."

Ty adds, "If I knew how to sew, I’d be happy to…" As he gestures, he accidentally tears his costume. His face drops. He states, "Oh my gosh! I can’t believe I just did that! I’m so so so so sorry!" He puts a hand to his forehead. "I should just quit now before I bring the whole team down."

"No worries!" Connie assures. "My model isn’t here, yet." She pulls out a needle and thread from behind one of her costumes many bows. Ty watches as Connie sews up the tear in just under a minute. "See? All better."

Ty places a hand on his head. "That was amazing. You made that look so easy. After watching you, I feel like even I could sew." He looks over at the door as Xiong, wrapped in a robe, enters the room. "Hey. Your model is here."

Xiong explains, "Sorry it took so long for me to get here, but I’m ready for my full body tattoo."

"I’ll leave you two to it," Ty assures. He walks toward the door.

Xiong stands in front of his chair and removes his robe, revealing his lack of clothing. Connie looks surprised and lets out an, "Eep!"

Xiong looks confused. He asks, "Is there something wrong? He looks down. "I thought this was a full body tattoo, so I didn’t think to bring any drawers."

"No, no," Connie assures, as she holds a hand over her eyes to obstruct her vision. "I just need to… I’ll be right back."

Xiong nods, and gives a reassuring smile. "I brought a book, so take your time." He holds up the book, revealing a handsome bearded man on the cover. "It’s not my usual genre, but this is the kind of face that sells books." Connie nods in agreement.

Ty places a hand on the handle of the door. Connie reaches out and places a hand on his wrist. Ty looks at her hand and then at Connie. He asks, "What’s the matter? Did I do something wrong?"

Connie shakes her head and assures, "No, not at all. It’s just that Xiong is… You know… N-A-K-E-D."

Ty blinks. "Like, right now?" He looks over at Xiong. His eyes widen. "I suddenly feel even less adequate, if you can believe that…"

"I’m not sure what you’re getting at. You’re perfect the way you are," Connie assures. Ty smiles softly. "But I need your help."

Ty admits, "This is out of my comfort zone, but if looking at my body helps you feel more comfortable around Xiong." Ty begins to pull off his shirt.

Connie blushes. She states, "No. That’s not at all what I meant."

Ty puts his shirt back down. "Oh, my bad."

Connie explains, "I’m happy that he’s so comfortable in his own skin, and all."

"If I looked like him, I would be, too," Ty assures with a nod.

"I just need an idea to help me through this. It’s tough with not having much time left until the challenge is over," Connie further explains.

Ty frowns. He states, "I wonder how Second Officer Sparkleburst would handle this situation. She would definitely not be bothered."

Connie’s eyes reflect her realization. "That’s it!" She commands, "You stay here! I’ll be right back." Connie rushes out of the room.

Ty looks over at Xiong. Xiong looks up from his book and offers a polite wave. Ty awkwardly waves back.

Mason walks into a room and knocks on the side of the door. Sanjay says, "Oh! I was waiting for you! I’m ready for your fitting. Go ahead and get undressed."

Mason smirks and asks, "You’re not gonna buy me dinner first?"

Sanjay responds, "Me? I’m happily single."

"No," Mason replies. "It was a little attempt at humor. Uh. You want me to drop trou right here?"

"You can change behind that screen if you prefer," Sanjay explains.

Mason abruptly snatches the costume from Sanjay, and begins undressing behind the screen. He begins putting on the costume. "Wait. Where’s the rest of the costume?"

"It should be all in there," Sanjay responds with a joyful inflection to his voice.

"I’m not seeing it," Mason insists.

"Come on out," Sanjay requests.

Mason admits, "I’d rather wait until you give me the rest of the outfit."

"How will I know what’s missing without looking at you?" Sanjay responds.

Mason sighs. He steps out in front of Sanjay. He asks, "See?" He is dressed in a corset, a loin cloth, wings attached to a harness, and a headdress that resembles an owl. He’s still wearing boxer shorts beneath the loincloth.

Sanjay looks confused before he states, "I don’t know what you’re fretting about. It’s all there."

"This is the costume?!" Mason asks. "I’d barely qualify this as lingerie."

Sanjay places a finger on his cheek and explains, "My intent was to embrace your culture and bring an authentic feel to the costuming."

Mason protests, "I’m from Vancouver!"

Sanjay frowns. He shrugs and admits, "The fit is off, anyway. You’re much bigger than I was expecting. Hard to tell what you look like under all those baggy clothes."

Mason mutters, "That’s kind of the point."

"What was that?" Sanjay asks, sweetly.

Mason responds, "It was nothing." Mason forces a smile. "Uh. Go ahead and take my measurements, so you can get back to work."

Sanjay nods. "That’s the spirit." Sanjay stretches out a measuring tape with a smile. "So… what do you think of our team?"

Mason admits, "Everyone seems… nice."

"What about the guys?" Sanjay asks, a sparkle in his eye.

"Uh…" Mason begins. "Nice? I mean Quince seems a little preoccupied with pinecones, or whatever, and Burton… Well… I’m sure he’s a good guy, and all... I just haven’t gotten much of a read on him. He’s very… quiet."

Sanjay nods. He says, "Now hold still."

Adara smiles in front of the camera in confessional. She explains, "During a rewrite for our script, JJ and Olive decided to join me in exploring an old storage room behind the theater. I figured we could find some props or costumes for our performance."

Olive states, "The door is stuck. How am I going to take a selfie with whatever is in there if we are not with whatever is in there? You know? It could be something cool, like jewelry, or a yacht."

"You think there is a yacht behind that door?" Adara asks, with a raised eyebrow.

JJ volunteers, "Let me try." JJ jimmies the handle, as he tries to push it open with his arm. He rests for a moment, leaning against the door. "It’s no use." He turns toward Adara and Olive. "I may not be much else, but I’m pretty strong. If I can’t budge this door, then…"

"Gross!" Olive remarks as she looks at her phone. "One of my mutuals just posted a close up picture of an ant! Instant unfollow." She holds the picture toward JJ. His eyebrows raise as he lets out a scream. He then launches forward, opening the door in the process. Olive remarks, "Ooh! I’m heading in first. That way if I find anything cool, I get first dibs." She steps over JJ, who is breathing heavily on the floor.

Adara reaches down to help him up. JJ says, "Er. Thanks." Once to his feet, he dusts himself off. "Kind of embarrassing."

Adara assures, "You’re in touch with your emotions. I think that’s… admirable."

JJ smiles a little. He admits, while rubbing the back of his head, "My main emotion is primal fear. Anyway, I’m trying to work on it, so I’ll lead the way." Adara nods and hands him a flashlight.

Adara comments, "It doesn’t seem like anyone’s been in here for some time."

JJ agrees, "Yeah. Who knows what we’ll find in here? A spooky pop up book? A living doll? A haunted board game?"

"It looks like…" Adara begins.

"Faces!" JJ states. His voice starts to tremble. "I’m too pretty! I want to keep my face!"

"Not quite," Adara assures. "I think it’s just… masks. And a lot of them."

"Huh," JJ replies. "I guess that’s pretty spooky, too."

"We can use these for the play," Adara states, as she picks up a small white mask.

JJ points his flashlight toward a wall. A figure behind a large green mask asks, "Do you think this is what people used before filters?”

JJ shrieks. "Oh. My. Lord. It’s horrible!" The beam of light from the flashlight shakes from his unsteady hand.

"Relax," Olive states. She removes the green mask. "It’s just me."

JJ responds, "Why do you think I screamed?"

"Ha ha ha," Olive replies, as she rolls her eyes.

"Hey," JJ adds. "If you keep the mask on, maybe I’ll have less of an issue kissing you." Olive pushes JJ out of her way before she exits the room. JJ shrugs.

Adara says, "You know this is partially a social game? It wouldn’t hurt to be nice, even if you don’t like someone."

JJ grimaces. He replies, "Yeah. I forgot about that. It’s just not that easy when not everyone is as cool as you. I’ll go apologize." He runs ahead of Adara. The door closes behind him. Adara’s eyes get wide as she tries to open the door from the inside. JJ opens the door from the opposite side. He smiles and says, "Oops. Sorry about that."

On the Listless Lions team, Ty revisits Connie and Xiong, as Connie, now dressed in a similar costume as before, but with a monochromatic orange color palette and a large ribbon in her hair, draws symbols on Xiong’s arm and torso. Ty says, "Wow. So cool! I didn’t know you could draw like that."

Connie nods as she snorts. "Yeah. Had to learn how to occupy my time somehow during The Great Cherry Blossom War of 2067. I’m Sparkleburst, by the way."

Ty looks surprised. He responds, "Oh, neat! It looks like you don’t mind Xiong’s nakedness, anymore."

"Frankly, I’m repulsed by it," Connie explains, "But there is a job to be done."

Ty laughs. He explains, "While you were working on this, I thought I’d try my hand at sewing costumes to save you some time. It’s not as good as what you could do, but feel free to use them as dust rags."

Connie briefly looks over at the costumes Ty is holding. She does a double take. She reacts, "Ty! These are impeccable! How did you get these all done so fast?"

Ty shrugs. He admits, "Once I got going, I just got kind of laser focused."

"Whoa!" Xiong states. He sets his book down on his lap.

Ty shouts, "Oh! You’re going to lose your place."

"Nah," Xiong replies. "I’m leaving it up to nature’s bookmark." He looks at his arm and asks, "I thought you were just doing black and white. These red splotches are a nice touch… And they make my arm look so swole."

Connie’s eyes are wide. "Uh-oh. I think your arm is swollen not swole. Do you have any allergies that you know of?"

Xiong shakes his head and responds, "Nah, but this sure is a funky way to find out." He laughs, before abruptly slumping down to the floor.

Connie and Ty look on as the medical team carries Xiong from the room on a stretcher. He holds up a thumbs up and states, "Looks like it’ll be without me, but I hope we have the greatest show, man." He slumps back on the stretcher.

"This is a disaster," Connie states. She slams a fist into her open palm. "We have to tell Gage what happened." Connie looks lightheaded, before falling into Ty’s arms.

Ty carries Connie to the entrance of the theater, where Gage is leaning against the wall with one foot pressed against the wall, as well. "What happened to her?" Gage asks.

"I think she exhausted herself from her workload," Ty explains with a frown. "I should have helped more…" Gage shakes his head. "We also lost Xiong to some kind of allergy."

"Figures," Gage replies nonchalantly.

Ty asks, "How are the others doing?"

"See for yourself," Gage instructs. He opens the door to the theater. Ty looks on with wide eyes.

"I can’t work like this! I will be in my broom closet!" Valencia shouts, before throwing down her script and storming off stage.

Wally crawls through the theater seats asking, "Has anyone seen my little Minkey Boodle? I can’t go on stage until I find her."

Evelyn walks up with Francie and points to her. The mime puts her hands on her own throat and mimics speaking. Gage gestures at Evelyn and explains, "She lost her voice from screaming her lines. Also… Turns out the mime is contractually obligated not to perform anywhere other than the sidewalk at her local farmer’s market." Francie pantomimes unfurling a contract and shaking her head.

Ty ask, "What does that mean?"

"We’re down an entire ensemble cast. Know anyone who knows the whole play as if they wrote it?" Gage asks. Ty shakes his head. Gage frowns. "I’m talking about you. We’re making this a one man show."

"What?" Ty asks, looking concerned.

Mason is on stage with Kayleigh. As Nicole and Burton are seated in the audience. Mason recites, "Uh. My father would have wanted me to… Uh… Rule over the pigeon kingdom."

"You’re an owl," Nicole reminds. "I know Sanjay isn’t done altering your costume, but your species should be easy enough to remember. Let’s try it, again. Take it from the top."

"I’d like to keep my top on, please," Mason requests.

"What was that?" Nicole asks, a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing," Mason assures. He looks to the side. "Look. After a little time… I don’t think I’m cut out for remembering lines."

"Don’t you remember jokes?" Nicole asks. "How is this different?"

Mason explains, "I don’t know. Maybe because it’s not my material, or maybe it’s the drama side of things. I don’t know. But I do know that I’d like to step down from the lead role."

Nicole frowns. She shakes her head. "Sorry, buddy. We’re too far into this to change that all of a sudden. The answer is no."

Kayleigh frowns. "But if he’s not feeling it, maybe we should swap him out. Ya know?" Mason looks at Kayleigh and smiles, slightly. She whispers toward Mason, "I got your back."

Nicole asks, "Who do you suggest?" She shakes her head at a lack of response. "I thought so. If you don’t have any…"

"I nominate Burton," Mason announces.

"Burton?" Nicole asks.

"Burton?" Burton adds, the closed captioning confirming what he said.

Mason nods. He assures, "I think he’ll be great."

"I second that emotion," Kayleigh adds with a nod.

Nicole waves her arms back and forth. She growls, "No. Not going to happen. I can’t even hear the guy and he’s sitting right next to me."

Kayleigh twirls her hair around her finger. She adds, "I guess it could work, since we’re wearing microphones."

Nicole turns to Burton. She admits, "You can’t be any worse than that guy. What do you think?"

Burton shrugs. He quietly announces, "If it helps the team… I’ll do it." Nicole blinks. Burton picks up Nicole’s megaphone and repeats, "I’ll do it." The volume is comparable to a whisper.

Mason helps Burton on stage. "Thanks, man! Sorry I couldn’t get the lines down." He places a hand on Burton’s shoulder. "I really think you’re going to help us win this thing." Burton looks down, looks up at Mason, and smiles.

In confessional, Mason tugs on his collar. "I’m sweatier in here than I am on leg day. Anyway… If I’m being completely honest, I did remember the lines. I just didn’t feel comfortable with the direction the play was going." He looks to the side. "Plus, if we lose… With the lead role, I would definitely have been in the spotlight, in more ways than one, and at high risk of going home. From swapping positions with Burton, I should be safe." He smirks at the camera. "Thanks, Burton, for taking the fall. You seem like a nice guy, but, hey. Better you than me."

Melinda announces on stage, "The Tenacious Tigers are ready to put on their performance. Will disaster strike, or will they succeed? Let’s hope for the former."

On the side of the stage, Burton gets close to Mason’s ear. He states, "Thank you for pushing me outside of my comfort zone. I think you’re a pretty nice guy."

Mason forces a smile. He assures, "Hey. Thanks, man. Let me put your mic on you." Burton nods, as Mason places a microphone on the harness just below Burton’s chest. "Here… Almost got it attached. Hey, man. I never noticed how toned you are."

Burton softly laughs. "Wish me luck," he says quietly.

"Good lu…" Mason holds up a finger. "Ah! I mean, break a leg. That’s some theater lingo, for ya." Burton nods and smiles before heading to the stage. Mason places a hand on his headset. He says to himself, "I can actually understand what he’s saying on this thing."

Burton holds out his hand toward the hosts as he sings in smooth voice. The other members of the team provide background vocals.

"From the hour we arrived in this world,

There has been something always unfurled.

As we’re venturing out,

There is never a doubt.

That the day will end the same as before…

It’s the compost heap of life,

And it feeds the ground…"

"His voice is so soothing," Mason admits, as he continues to listen. "And the costume really… fits him well…" Mason’s eyelids lower.

"As one cycle ends, so the next begins," Laverne can be heard explaining from on stage. "Your father would want you to continue as ruler, don’cha know."

Nicole stands next to Mason. She admits, "I think I made the right decision, swapping you and Burton. Remember that when I win this challenge for us." Mason smiles and nods, as he continues to look on stage. Nicole steps away.

Burton kneels on stage as he holds a cooked bird in his hand. He tearfully recites a monologue, "Father. I wish you were here to guide me. What should I do? I’m too young and inexperienced to lead the owls and fight against your evil brother, Fleshwound. Should I just avoid my responsibilities and choose love?"

Mason smiles as he looks on at Burton. In the audience, Nolan is leaning back in his chair fully asleep, and Melinda is not paying attention to the performance, but reading a book. She admits, "This book is pretty lousy, but the guy on the cover really makes it worth the twenty dollars… I actually feel I underpaid."

The performance ends with Laverne placing a crown on Burton’s head and a dejected looking Kayleigh leaving the stage. Mason draws the curtain closed. Melinda claps politely from her seat. Nolan is startled awake, he begins to applaud, attempting to appear as if he was paying attention.

Nolan stands on stage with his hands clasped together. He pumps both fists. "Lady." The camera shows Melinda as the sole person in the audience. "Welcome to our production. They no doubt put a lot of effort into this. Give a warm round of applause to the Listless Lions!" Nolan leaps from the stage. The curtain raises. With the lights down, a shadowy figure kneels on the stage.

"A voice calls out in the dark,

For my life I wanted more…"

Nolan is now seated next to Melinda. "Who is that singing? It’s the best singing I’ve ever heard…"

The lights turn on, revealing Ty on stage, dressed as a ringmaster. He holds his hand toward the audience and he continues to sing.

"This is the grandest show!

The lights kick on,

The crowd erupts!

This is the grandest show!"

Ty walks toward the back of the set. He states, "I need talent for my show." He holds a hand over his ear, and looks genuinely enchanted. He throws his voice to sound like singing in the distance, all without moving his lips. "That voice. It’s the most beautiful thing my ears have ever had the pleasure of hearing. I must know who it belongs to." Ty runs to the back of the stage. He holds up a ring. He drops it around himself, and he is now dressed in a ball gown. He trepidatiously turns toward the audience, revealing he is dressed as a bearded woman.

Nolan looks confused. "Wait… Isn’t that just Ty? Where’s the rest of the team?" Melinda shrugs her shoulders.

Ty, now as the bearded lady, steps behind a curtain and looks anguished as she pleads, "Sir. You cannot be here." The bearded woman pauses. "You want me to perform… in front of people? Even the people I work with here laugh at the sight of me. Still…"

"I’m done hiding in the dark,

It’s finally my time to be seen.

I am wise, I am strong,

I have been all along.

I am free!"

Nolan and Melinda are silent as they look on. Ty performs as a strong man, fire breather, magician, and more, seamlessly transitioning to each role. At the end of the performance, his team members look on from behind the curtain. Ty falls to his knees and raises his arms in the air, as his chest heaves from breathing heavily. Valencia places a hand on her chest. She says, "That was… magnifico."

The team looks out at Nolan and Melinda in the audience. They stay seated in silence as Ty continues to kneel. Melinda and Nolan abruptly stand and applaud. Nolan throws in a long ‘woo’. Connie smiles and runs on stage. She hugs Ty. She exclaims, "That was the greatest! You were amazing." More of Ty’s teammates flood the stage to congratulate him.

Ty assures, "Did I do okay? I mean… It wasn’t anywhere near what all of you could have done…" Gage stands back, looking on with his arms folded. His mouth curls in a slight smile, before pretending to cough into his hand, and then looking more disinterested.

Melinda stands on stage. She smiles sinisterly and introduces, "It is now time to see what the Bewildered Bears have come up with. How will they handle the horrors of musical theater? Let’s find out." Melinda walks down the stairs on the side of the stage and finds her seat.

Olive stands on a balcony on stage. She looks at her phone as it sounds an alert. She awkwardly says, "New phone. Who dis?"

JJ kneels on stage and holds his hand upward. He recites, "’Tis I who texted."

"Julio?” Olive asks. "I thought you were down at the schoolyard, or whatever."

"Yes, dear Romy," JJ responds. Olive turns and takes a selfie from the balcony, and captures herself with an awkwardly blinking JJ in the background.

Later, JJ and Olive are standing on the stage together. JJ holds Olive’s hands in his. He states, "If only our families understood our love and desire to be good people."

Olive looks down at her fingernails. She replies, "I just want to, like, Trevor this moment forever."

JJ frowns. He asks, "Who the hell is Trevor?"

Olive types on her phone. She holds it up for JJ to read. It says, ‘You’re breaking character. And you thought I’d be the one to bring us down. 🥴’

JJ looks over at Melinda and Nolan. Beads of sweat start to form on his brow. He looks back at Olive. He whispers, "Uh. I’m still wearing p-p-pants, right?"

Dulce steps out on stage dressed in an ice cream themed business suit. She is positioned toward the audience as her words are directed toward JJ and Olive. "Hello, children! Please follow me to a land of wonder and high sugar content!"

"Follow me,

And you’ll see,

A land filled with,

Chocolate covered goodness…"

After her song, Dulce holds up two cartons of ice cream. She holds them toward the hosts. "Now don’t view this as pandering, but I brought frozen treats for each of you based on your auras."

"Is that Caramelissa McCarthy?" Nolan asks with a drop of drool rolling down his lip.

Melinda holds up a hand and assures, "Thank you, but we can’t accept."

"Yours is Mistress of the Dark Chocolate," Nolan says with a laugh. "She pegged you." Melinda glares at Nolan.

Dulce frowns. She begins to walk off stage. She says, "Let’s go, children…" JJ and Olive follow Dulce off stage.

JJ rubs his temples offstage. He asks, "What was that? That wasn’t part of the script. Right, Rhys?"

Ulysses nods. Rhys responds, "It doesn’t really matter. We have our big gun in the wings." He looks over at Hoagie, sitting on an upside down plastic bucket. Hoagie has his head down, hands grasping each other, and nervously shaking his leg.

"Besides," Dulce adds. "The character I was playing before was boring, so I wanted to give something more true to myself a whirl."

Olive raises her hand and adds, "I want to change my character, too. I want to be someone not romantically interested in goobers."

"I suppose it wouldn’t…" JJ thinks for a moment. "Hey!" He sighs. "I already got thrown off earlier. I’m afraid that if everyone goes off script, my stage fright will get even worse."

"You have stage fright?" Adara asks.

JJ shrugs and admits, "I guess. I’ve never really been on stage before, but I definitely felt the frights. I’m guessing how I’m feeling right now is related."

Rhys nonchalantly states, "It doesn’t matter what everyone does, as long as we have Hoagie for the big finish. Knock yourselves out."

JJ admits as he glares to the side, "That might be preferable over going back on stage…"

On stage, JJ’s eyes are wide as he looks back at a large wooden structure resembling a man eating plant. Ivy’s voice can be heard saying, "Feed me some more!"

JJ replies, "Uh… S-s-sure thing, giant man eating plant dude."

Backstage, Hoagie sits by himself. He repeats, "You got this, man. You got this. Just get out of your head, and don’t think about the pressure of how this competition is all you got going for you… I could use a distraction. If only Kayleigh was here to give me some sugar."

"Did I hear someone say sugar?" Hoagie looks up to see a figure standing in the doorway. He holds his hands over his eyes to get a better look at the shadowy figure, obscured by the lights from the stage.

JJ holds Olive’s hand in his. Olive, now wearing a pink business suit, states, "Now with that dubious man eating plant thingie having eaten my family, and your family never having come out of that ominous ice cream factory… There is nothing to keep us apart, or me from going to law school, and stuff."

"Law school?" JJ whispers.

"Yeah," Olive replies. "Like it’s hard?”

JJ regains his focus. "Nothing can keep us apart," JJ adds, "or no one?" JJ and Olive smile as they look at each other. JJ clears his throat. "I said… Nothing or no one?" JJ looks off stage.

"What is going on?" Nolan whispers to Melinda.

Melinda responds, "I’ve been asking myself that since this production began."

JJ begins sweating profusely. He looks off stage and then back at the audience. He assures, "Everything is going according to p-p-p-plan. We are just having some t-t-technical d-d-d-d-d…" JJ’s voice trails off as he stands frozen on stage.

"This is finally getting interesting," Melinda whispers.

Nolan nods, "I wonder what’s coming next."

Rhys looks on stage and then to Adara and Ulysses. "Where’s our big finishing move?" Adara and Ulysses look at each other and back at Rhys and shrug. "Well, somebody find him." Adara and Ulysses split up in order to look for the rogue drummer.

Adara begins looking behind a few doors. She pauses for a moment after noticing a small drop of something blue on the stage floor. She kneels down in order to touch the mysterious liquid with her finger. She states, "This is…" She hears moaning nearby. She looks up, stands, and takes a deep breath. She pulls a curtain backstage back and finds Hoagie lying on the floor with a spilled carton of strawberry ice cream near him, as well as several empty containers of ice cream. He has a hand on his full stomach as his mouth, neck, and chest are covered with melted strawberry ice cream.

Dulce walks up and innocently states, "Good golly gum balls. I wonder what could have happened here." She places her hands in the air to seem more confused. The others, minus JJ, who is still frozen on stage, appear soon after.

Rhys places a hand on his face. He laments, "This looks like game over."

The teams are gathered in the theater seats, as Melinda and Nolan stand on stage. Nolan announces, "One team really impressed us with their performance. The winning team is…" Nolan opens an envelope and turns the card around. He states, "The Listless Lions!"

The team cheers. Xiong stands behind Ty as he rubs his shoulders. Connie hugs Ty. "We owe this to you!" Connie assures.

Ty humbly replies, "Gosh. I couldn’t have done it without all of your support."

Sanjay looks on at Ty and Connie and gives a sweet swoon. "They’re so cute together."

Melinda announces in a somber voice, "The rest of you should be scared." JJ bites his fingernails in the audience. "One team left us bored. The other left us… confused. The safe team is…" Mason looks regretful as he looks at Burton. "The Tenacious Tigers." Mason breathes a sigh of relief.

Nolan clarifies, "I’m sorry to the Bewildered Bears, but you lost the first challenge. You will meet us for the elimination ceremony where one of you will sadly leave the competition."

Rhys has his hands on his hips as his team leaves the theater. He shakes his head and says, "I’m very disappointed." Ulysses follows after Rhys, looking concerned.

"All my fears were realized… I let the team down," JJ laments.

Olive agrees, "Yeah you did." Olive walks ahead.

Adara attempts to be reassuring, "Don’t be so hard on yourself. You seemed like the only one that actually cared about our team." Adara looks around. She asks, "Wait. Have you seen Hoagie and Dulce?"

JJ replies, "I think I saw them head over toward the kitchen."

Adara puts a hand under her chin. She states, "I think something suspicious is happening. Let’s follow them." JJ looks surprised, but follows after Adara, who is already walking in that direction.

Pressed against the wall outside the entrance to the kitchen. Adara and JJ overhear Hoagie begging, "You don’t understand… I need more ice cream. It helps numb the pain…"

Dulce has a finger on her chin. She assures, "I promise to give you more, Sweetie. But in order to do that, I have to be here another night."

Hoagie nods rapidly, his long hair swaying up and down. "I’ll do everything I can to make that happen."

JJ lets out a soft whisper, "It’s like the stuff has some kind of supernatural hold on him." Adara raises an eyebrow as she looks at JJ.

"Did you hear something?” Hoagie asks, looking alert.

"I think someone is eavesdropping," Dulce admits. The pair quickly make their way to the door. They look in both directions, but see no trace of anyone else. Dulce frowns. She says, "Oh, fudge…"

The elimination ceremony is held in an elaborately decorated den with large opulent furniture. It also has elaborate artwork hanging on the walls and a large fireplace in the center of the back wall.

Ivy comments, "This room holds a dark energy."

JJ looks at Ivy’s potted plant in her hand. He comments, "So do you." JJ tightly grasps the arms of his arm chair and sinks back into it as Ivy’s plant seems to be licking its lips.

Nolan gives a wide smile and says, "Welcome to the iconic first elimination of the season."

"You seem way too happy given the circumstances," Olive scolds.

Nolan apologizes, "Oops… You’re right. I forgot what it’s like being on that side of things."

Melinda almost silently stalks around the room. She comes to a table with a burgundy sheet placed over it. She removes the sheet to reveal eight statuettes in the shape of people. "Is that supposed to be us?" Adara asks.

Melinda nods and explains, "Each of you are represented by a statue. The contestant that received the most votes for elimination will not receive their statuette, and will be removed from the competition."

"Removed?" JJ repeats.

Melinda takes hold of several statuettes. She hands the first to Adara, and then passes by a few contestants. She hands the next statuettes to Ulysses, and Olive. Olive frowns. She complains, "My nose is not this big. This is clearly modeled after my old nose."

Melinda ignores Olive as she continues to stalk around the room. She hands a statuette to Ivy, and next to Rhys. Rhys smiles at receiving his statuette.

Melinda stands facing the fireplace. Nolan explains, "Our bottom three consists of Dulce, JJ, and Hoagie."

Melinda lifts a hand and points ominously at Dulce. "While not definite, it appears that you supplied Hoagie with the substance that made him unable to perform his duties in the challenge."

"Me?" Dulce asks. "That could have been anybody. Right, Hoagie?" Hoagie reluctantly nods.

Melinda next points at JJ. "Your unbridled fear prevented you from performing to the best of your abilities."

"He literally was frozen on stage," Dulce adds, as she pouts.

Melinda next points at Hoagie. "And you… Indulging in your vices, was ultimately felt to be what kept your team from winning, today." Hoagie looks to the side. Melinda slowly walks around the bottom three. She stops in front of the fire and abruptly tosses one of the statuettes into the flame behind her, causing it to erupt into a much larger flame.

"W-whose statue was that?" JJ asks, nervously.

Melinda turns toward the contestants and holds out the two remaining statuettes.

The hostess announces, "Dulce. This is the bittersweet end to your journey here." Hoagie and JJ receive their statues from Melinda.

Dulce puts a hand over her chest. She states with a pout, "This has melted my heart."

Nolan frowns. He instructs, "Dulce. We enjoyed having you for the competition. It’s time for you to leave. After you gather your belongings, you will be escorted from the premises."

Dulce stands and nods. She states as she waves to the other contestants, "It looks like this is time to say my sweet goodbyes. I didn’t expect to receive such a chilly reception, but I can take this all in good humor. Goodbye, everyone." Most of the others offer a small wave.

Hoagie drops to the floor and begs, "Please, don’t go!" He has a hand on Dulce’s ankle.

"I must," Dulce responds with a frown. "It’s just the cold stone reality."

Dulce walks down the halls of the lodge. She has empty luggage with her. She looks back, and then her expression changes to a mischievous one. She sidesteps into the kitchen. "Without me, nobody deserves to enjoy my company’s ice cream. I’m leaving them out in the cold." She reaches toward the handle of the freezer. She pauses suddenly. "Is someone there?" She looks behind her and lets out a sharp gasp as a shadowy figure approaches her.

### Chapter 3 - Virtual Brutality

"Hello, and welcome to an all new Total… Drama… Lodge!" A bulky, smiling host introduces. "I’m Nolan, and this is my sister…" Nolan turns to look at an armchair with a long back. "Say hello to the nice people, Melinda." All that is visible is a hand clasping an arm of the chair as it faces a fireplace. Nolan looks on for a while before turning back to the camera after Nolan receives no response. He awkwardly continues to smile as he assures, "I think Melinda is focusing on some ‘me time’ or something." Nolan scratches his chin. He states, "Let’s see. I guess it’s up to me to do the recap. What happened last time… Dulce, the ice cream enthusiast, was voted out and had to split." Nolan stifles a laugh. "The dairy queen offered her potential allies all the frozen confections they could handle if they voted with her. Her plan melted when she was found out, and the young woman got her just desserts." Nolan thinks for a moment. "Oh, yeah. We also had a musical themed challenge, which was won by the Listless Lions. Really, it was won by Ty, who carried his team with a one man show." Nolan smiles. "Tonight we have an epic challenge prepared for the players, that could only be described as virtual insanity. So, uh… I hope you enjoy the show." Nolan frowns and adds, "Really, Melinda?" He walks over to the armchair. "At least give me a heads up next time if I’m on my own with the intro…"

"What are you going on about?" A voice asks from behind Nolan.

Nolan states, "Give me a second. I’m lecturing Melinda." Nolan places a hand on the figure sitting in the armchair. "So, anyway. I mean, I don’t need any help looking like a… Hey, sis… Have you been eating much? I know it’s none of my…" Someone clears their throat from behind Nolan. Nolan looks back and jumps with a jolt. Melinda stands behind him with her arms crossed. "Melinda, but who…" Nolan turns the armchair to reveal a plastic skeleton seated in the chair. The force of the chair turning causes the skeletons jaw to drop to the floor. Nolan lets out a scream as he jumps, again. Melinda shakes her head.

Hoagie is shown wearing a towel around his waist in the sauna that doubles as a confessional. He admits, "Yeah." He holds his head down. "It wasn’t my proudest moment, earlier. I let my team down for what? Some delicious, creamy, velvety…" Hoagie stares off into the distance. He shakes his head rapidly to regain his concentration. "Ice cream… I’m here to play a game. I can’t allow myself to be distracted, anymore."

Hoagie, seen earlier, looks back and forth into an empty hall before entering the kitchen. He opens the freezer to see all of the ice cream was removed. He throws his head back and mutters, "For Donnie Rio’s sake…"

Hoagie is shown in confessional, again, looking ashamed as he presses his pointer fingers together. He admits, "Uh. Starting, now…"

Hoagie steps out of the confessional. He reaches for his clothing, folded neatly on a bench. He blinks. "Did that mom lady do this? I’ve been wondering if she is eighteen like the rest of us or did they randomly cast a forty-five year old?"

"Hey, babe!" Kayleigh states as she steps up. "You look pretty steamy."

Hoagie points behind himself. "Yeah." He looks confused. "I just stepped out of the steam room."

Kayleigh laughs. "Care to join me for a hot tub?" she asks.

Hoagie looks aside. He replies, "I dunno. I really should get some sleep before tomorrow’s challenge."

Kayleigh nods, and smiles sweetly. She assures, "I’m not going to pressure you. I can take no for an answer."

Hoagie is looking down at the ground sheepishly. He smiles as he looks up at her. "You can? I really appreciate that."

Kayleigh ties her hair up into a ponytail. She explains, "I still plan to. But I don’t want you to feel bad about me being by myself. I need to destress."

Hoagie nods. He says, "I hope you have a good night if I don’t see you on my way out. I’m going to go get… uh… dressed." He gestures, holding up his clothes. Kayleigh nods and waves at him.

After getting dressed, Hoagie steps out of the locker room in his trademark Def Liepard muscle shirt and zebra print pants. He looks back at Kayleigh for a moment who is sitting in the hot tub with her eyes closed and head tilted back slightly. He turns and puts a hand on the door handle to the exit to the outside. He holds it for a moment as he looks straight ahead. He lets go of the door handle, and turns back. He removes his shirt and pants to reveal his loose fitting swim trunks underneath. He tosses his other clothes and shoes aside. "I thought you were leaving?" A surprised Kayleigh asks.

Hoagie says to her, "Nah, man! That’s what my father would do, and totally not metal." Hoagie gestures by flatly moving his hand from one side to another. "We’re only young once, right?" Kayleigh sharply nods and smiles. Hoagie cannonballs into the hot tub as Kayleigh laughs. He takes a seat next to her, they smile at each other. They pause for a moment and then abruptly start kissing.

Kayleigh excitedly claps in confessional. "Hoagie is so sweet. The hot tub make out session was magical. One step closer to that final rose." Kayleigh assures, "I totally have next to no competition, though. It’s like no one else has their head in the game." Kayleigh taps her chin with her fingernail.

Ulysses walks down a long hall with musty dark red wallpaper with dark accents with a tray of food. He looks to the side to see Nolan exiting a room, locking it with a key on a large ring with many keys attached to it, and placing the key ring in his back pocket. Nolan turns, and jumps at the sight of Ulysses. He smiles wide and says, "Oh, hey… Quincy. How’s it hanging?"

Ulysses blinks. "Wow. I’ve read about that greeting in some historical writings from 1995. An honor to hear it in this day and age, from someone so seasoned."

Nolan scratches the back of his head. The host and contestant walk together. He responds, "You’re welcome. Uh. How old do you think I am, Quincy?"

Ulysses winces. He adds, "Er. I know you have a lot of responsibility on your broad, sturdy shoulders…" Nolan smiles wide, again. "But my name is actually…"

"U-U!" Rhys shouts, as he waves from a seat at a long table in a dining room. "I saved a seat for you." Ulysses mouth curls up in an awkward grin.

Nolan has a pair of glasses on as he writes in a small notebook. "U-U. Duly noted. Also, literally noted."   He places the notebook and pencil in the crotch of his pants. He winces for a moment. "Hey, so… Sorry about the misunderstanding. There are quite a few of you this year, but I’ll do my best to…" Nolan looks to see Ulysses has walked away. "And he’s gone…" Nolan shrugs and turns around.

Rhys glares over at Olive, scrolling through her social media. He looks at Ulysses, smiles and moves one of his feet from off of the chair next to him. "Plant that adorable little keister right next to me, my guy."

Ivy, the organized plant lover, is adjusting a crooked painting on the wall. She turns her head abruptly and asks, "Did I hear someone say ‘plant’?” She pauses momentarily, before turning back to the painting on the wall.

Ulysses smile as he sits next to Rhys. Ulysses looks suddenly disconcerted. Rhys states, "Oh, by the way, my main man. I took a walk outside to clear my head, earlier. My shoes still even have snow on them." Ulysses look down to see the seat of his pants are now wet. "Yessiree. The last thirty-three hours, twenty-six minutes, and thirty-nine seconds without technology have really hit my restart button." Rhys’ right eye twitches. "Anyway… Are those scones?" Rhys takes some of the pastries from Ulysses’ tray. "Thanks for breakfast. I take back what I said about only eating food produced by famous streamers. Turns out, not eating makes me really, really hungry. Wild." Ulysses reaches for a glass of orange juice, but Rhys grabs it faster and drinks it within six seconds, his prominent Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he gulps it down. Rhys pulls the tray closer to himself as he talks with his mouthful, "Shame you didn’t grab anything for yourself."

Ulysses stands up and places his hands on the table. "Actually, I…" Ulysses begins.

Rhys looks down. "U-U! Did you wet your pants?" The others at the table look up with surprised expressions.

Ulysses face turns red. He assures, "No. I sat in… something."

"Whatever you say, my boy," Rhys replies. "Hey, nothing to be ashamed of. My sponsor is an adult incontinence undergarment company. They come in handy during an all night gaming session. I’ll hook you up with some at twenty percent off with the promo code GAMEBOY20."

"Uh," Ulysses begins. "You… would do that for me?"

Rhys nods and assures, "You bet, my dude. I’m done with breakfast." Rhys sets down his last plate. "Now let’s get you out of those pants." Ulysses’ eyes are wide as Rhys takes him by the hand and they walk away from the dining table. Adara looks at the pair with a concerned expression.

JJ continues to shove his cereal into his mouth. He explains, "I know what you’re thinking."

"You do?" Adara asks. JJ nods.

He holds up the box of cereal. "Mystic Bowl. All the same great flavors of your childhood favorites, with none of the sugar. I wonder how they do it… Part of me is kind of scared to find out."

Adara blinks. She assures, "That’s… super interesting, and exactly answers my concerns." JJ smiles before inserting a spoon back into his mouth. Rhys looks over at Adara, with a frown.

Mason pushes his plate of half finished pancakes away from himself. Burton speaks in his direction. Mason replies, "Hold on." He puts on his headset from the previous challenge. "Okay, I’m ready. Shoot."

Burton speaks into his microphone, "Have you seen, Quincy? He wasn’t in our room last night."

"Quincy?" Mason asks. "Was that the guy with the bald head, eye patch, and always playing the concertina?" Burton shakes his head. "Who am I thinking of?" Mason snaps his fingers. He states, "Oh, right. Blue hair, dad bod, beady eyes that look like a direct window into his soul?" Burton nods. Mason shrugs his shoulders. "He’s on our team? I thought he was on the bear one."

"You speak of Quincy?" Valencia asks. Burton and Mason nod. "I had a passionate, emotional conversation with the conflicted, young man, last night." Valencia falls to the floor. "He was the most pitiful sight I have ever seen, as he lay on the floor looking forlorn beneath the window facing the mountain." Valencia dramatically holds her arms upright. "I asked him why he was so depressed. He said to me, ‘My true love is the outside world, but alas! The show has rules about sleeping outside!’ I lifted him by the overalls and told him, ‘Rules are meant to be broken! Follow your passion!’ I saw a single tear stream down his face. It was like the window of his mind broke wide open." Valencia holds her hands in front of her chest. "It was the most glorious thing I’ve ever seen. He took his camping equipment and bounded out of doors!"

Burton states something. Mason repeats, "Burton asked, ‘When was this?’”

Valencia thinks back. "It was last night, just before twilight. I cannot help but remember the sparkle in his eye at my mere suggestion. It reminded me of the shining stars in the night sky."

Burton says something quietly. Mason nods and responds, "You’re so thoughtful. I hope he’s okay, too. Whoever he is." Mason and Burton smile at each other.

Quincy is shown outside frozen solid. A shadow can be seen slowly approaching him.

Melinda exits a room, closing the door behind her and Nolan. Nolan frowns. He admits, "I guess we’ll have to scrap the virtual reality challenge if the program is buggy."

Melinda frowns. She responds, "And not even the good kind of buggy."

"You mean giant killer insects?" Nolan asks. Melinda nods.

"It’s disappointing," Melinda admits. ”If only we had someone that knew how to program software…"

Rhys suddenly appears between the hosts and places his arms around them, as Ulysses stands to the side. "You guys have great RNG. Your GameBoyRhys is here!" The brother and sister pair look at Rhys blankly. "I’m offering to fix it."

Melinda and Nolan look at each other. "Do you think this is a good idea?" Nolan asks.

Melinda states, "It is unorthodox to have a contestant help with the challenge, but I was really looking forward to this one."

Nolan admits, "I mean technically there’s no rule against it. Trust me, I know. I reread the rules like three times."

"That wouldn’t have anything to do with the ‘No dating a contestant’ rule, now would it?" Nolan whistles innocently. Melinda turns back toward Rhys. He stands up straight after obviously eavesdropping on the conversation. Melinda states, "Okay. We’ll allow it. No funny business, though."

"Not that we would have any way to verify that you didn’t mess with the program," Nolan adds. Melinda jabs him with her elbow.

Rhys assures with a smile, "You can trust me."

Within confessional, Rhys whistles before he states, "They can trust me. I mean, everyone can make their own decisions… No matter how misguided." He strokes his chin. Rhys stands up and stumbles over something before exiting.

A man stands up. His wet hair obscures his face. He pulls his hair from his face. It’s revealed to be Quincy wearing just his briefs. He looks back and forth and asks, "How did I wake up here? I was having a lovely night outdoors. Last I remember, I was being embraced by nature’s cold embrace, as I lost feeling in my limbs. No?" He looks down. "And where are my clothes? I spent a lot of my s’more sale money on the highest quality…" He looks up when someone enters.

Xiong smiles. He states, "Good! You’re all thawed out. I was super worried about you.”

"You brought me here?" Quincy asks.

Xiong nods. "Uh-huh! You were frozen solid.”

"I was?" Quincy asks. Xiong nods. Quincy looks to the side. "Then I owe you a thank you, oui?"

Xiong shakes his head. He admits, "No. No. I just am happy you’re no longer a Quincical."

Quincy assures, "I still would like to thank you… How about dinner on me? I know how to ice fish. I did it once in a farming simulator. Maybe I can wrangle up some frozen fish sticks… I believe they are native to these waters."

Xiong laughs. He replies, "Sure. How about tonight after the elimination? We can meet in the dining room."

"Say no more, mon amour," Quincy insists. Xiong hands Quincy his dry clothing. Xiong excitedly dance walks backwards out of the sauna.

Xiong dances directly into Hoagie, who is pressed against the wall next to the sauna’s entry. Xiong apologizes, "Sorry, I was riding a high and didn’t notice you standing directly outside the door."

A clearly flustered Hoagie responds, "Uh, no, man. It was my fault… Anyway. I, uh… Had a long night. Crashed here last night and almost left my shorts by the hot tub…" He holds up the shorts in question. "I clearly found them, so I’m gonna… go now." Hoagie backs up.

Xiong laughs. He says, "You crack me up." Xiong holds up a hand to wave goodbye. "Later, dude." Xiong kneels down to dry up some water on the floor with a towel. Before Hoagie leaves the room, he pauses to look back at Xiong before ducking out.

Ulysses walks toward the room for the next challenge, holding a tray with an energy drink on it. Adara approaches and says, "I’m glad to find you alone."

"Oh, hi," Ulysses responds. "Well… I really should get this to Rhys…"

Adara assures, "I’ll only take a moment." Ulysses frowns but nods. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?" Ulysses asks.

"No reason," Adara assures, as she waves her hands. "Forget I said anything."

Ulysses blinks. He asks, "Did you say… anything?"

Adara awkwardly laughs and replies, "That’s the spirit." She winks at him overtly.

"Okay… Good talk? I better get this to Rhys." Ulysses gestures by holding the tray up a little higher. Adara nods. Ulysses looks back before opening the door, looking confused. Adara’s expression looks more somber as she holds her gaze on the door after Ulysses enters.

"Hey!" JJ states, having just appeared. Adara jumps with a scream. JJ responds by simultaneously jumping and screaming.

Hoagie enters the main lodge from outside. He kicks off his shoes next to the door after shivering from the cold. He steps away from the entrance, as Ivy walks toward the door and sets his shoes neatly onto a mat near the door. Hoagie looks back and says, "Uh. Sorry about that."

Ivy assures, "No need to apologize. I enjoy the mess, it gives me something to declutter."

"Oh," Hoagie responds. "Well, then you’re welcome, I guess."

Ivy continues, "When things are orderly, it helps the mind to be balanced, as well." Ivy holds a hand out toward Hoagie. "You, for example, quite obviously have much weighing on you. Your shoulders are slumped, you forgot your jacket, and you look like you barely slept."

Hoagie forces a smile and assures, "Nah, I’m good. Really."

Laverne walks toward the front entrance and announces, "It’s about time for a brisk power walk." She stretches from side to side with her hands on her hips. "I”ll miss my mall walking buddies, though." She stops to look at Ivy and Hoagie. "Is something the matter?"

"No," Hoagie assures.

Ivy explains, "I was just commenting on this young man’s disheveled appearance. He just came in from outside without a jacket. Please pardon me. I have more organizing to do." Ivy abruptly walks away.

"The no jacket thing is not a…" Hoagie begins.

Laverne looks shocked. "Gosh darn. You poor little muffin loaf. I noticed I never saw you wearing any winter clothes. Didn’t your family send you…" Hoagie looks down for a moment. Laverne drops the subject. "Well, I had nothing better to do, so I knitted you a sweater." Laverne reaches into her shoulder bag.

Laverne holds up a purple sweater with a skull on it. "Wow. That’s so cool, I…" Laverne quickly puts it over Hoagie’s head. And his words become muffled as she pulls it down over his torso. "…n’t remember the last time someone made me something…" Hoagie holds out the sweater as he looks at it. He then looks up at Laverne. "Uh. You didn’t have to…"

"These calories aren’t going to burn themselves. You’re welcome to take a walk with me," Laverne offers, as she walks in place.

"I had a long night," Hoagie admits as he rubs the back of his head.

Laverne shakes her head disapprovingly. "Rest is very important, especially here."

"I know," Hoagie responds sheepishly.

"Have you been drinking enough water?" Laverne adds.

Hoagie sighs and says, "No."

Laverne places one hand on her hip. She waves a finger. "Make sure you take care of yourself." Hoagie nods. "Well, I’ve got the wanderlust. See you, Hoagie-poo." Laverne opens the main entrance and steps out.

"Uh… Thanks for the sweater," Hoagie adds. He says to himself, "She reminds me of my mom…" he strokes his chin. "Wonder if she’d approve of Kayleigh… Nah… Probably not." He walks off. Nicole can be seen in the background grinding her teeth after slowly descending behind a potted plant.

In confessional, Nicole insists, "I’ve got Hoagie on my radar. He’s canoodling with my team, and I don’t like it." Nicole quickly darts her eyes to the side. "But I’ve got two other big fish to fry."

The contestants are gathered in a waiting room. Nolan steps up and explains, "Thanks for gathering, everybody. Unfortunately, due to some technical difficulties, our challenge is…"

"Ready player…" Rhys bursts through a set of double doors. He takes a few seconds to count the contestants. "Twenty-three!"

Nolan looks back as Melinda also emerges from the room with Rhys. Melinda nods. "We required Rhys’ assistance to work out some… issues with our challenge. But we are now ready to get started."

"Why would they need that guy?" Gage asks. "Don;t mistake my question for actually caring, though."

"He’s a self proclaimed gamer, so maybe…" Adara begins.

"Today’s challenge will be a fight to the death!" Melinda ominously announces. Several contestants gasp.

Evelyn shouts, "Cool!"

Nolan puts up his hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. A virtual fight to the death." Nolan emphasizes the word ‘virtual’. "Only Evelyn signed the waiver… Anyway… Each of you will be outfitted in a custom…"

Rhys places the back of his hand on Nolan’s chest. "I got it from here, big guy." Rhys squats down and raises his arms up as he announces, "In a world where twenty-three fighters, from all walks of life and franchises, are gathered to compete in behalf of their societies, only one team will survive!"

Nolan responds, "Hey, bud. This is part of the host’s…"

Melinda claps. She insists, “Nolan. Quit being a bore. Let him continue." Nolan folds his arms and frowns.

Rhys smiles and nods. As he leads the contestants into a large room, they look around at the advanced looking technology in the mostly white and gray room. A massive screen is prominently featured at the center of the room. Rhys explains, "This optimal technology will display a fighting game  of epic proportions."

"Fighting?" Adara repeats.

Rhys holds up some clothing. He explains, "These extra tight fitting costumes are designed for performance. The sensors will capture your movements and translate them to this screen." He holds up a VR set. "These may look like goggles, but they are a virtual reality headset that will make you feel like you’re in another world."

Adara quietly says, "Tight fitting…"

JJ, standing next to the Muslim woman, looks nervous. "I know what you’re concerned about," JJ states with a gulp.

"You do?" Adara asks.

JJ nods. He explains, "I saw this movie once, where this girl got uploaded into a computer with her friends. When you thought she beat the bad guy, the cleaning lady came in and unplugged the computer when she was still inside it, and this girl just poofed out of existence. Things like that probably happen every day without our knowing about it." Adara stares at JJ. "Sorry. I should have put a spoiler warning in front of all that."

Rhys smiles as he turns on the screen. He holds up his arms as the game starts up. A large selection menu featuring depictions of each contestant is displayed. "Whoa! Are these supposed to be us?" Olive asks. "My character is almost as hot as me in real life." She holds up her phone to take a picture next to her image.

"And everything is so… orderly," Ivy adds.

"Do you do dating sim, too?" Sanjay asks hopefully.

Nolan asks, "Wait. I could be dumb, but I don’t remember the game looking like this before."

Rhys explains, "Both statements can be true, my guy." Nolan blinks. Rhys stretches his hands forward and cracks his knuckles. "Yeah. I put my modding abilities to work. No big. I made everyone cooler and hotter. That was a hard task for some of you." Rhys smiles. He momentarily looks back at Adara with a smirk. He looks away when she catches his glance. She looks at him for a few moments with a confused look.

"It’s very impressive," Melinda compliments.

"I know," Rhys replies with a smile.

JJ leans in toward Adara and states, "Hey, look at me!" He points at his avatar, wearing blue sunglasses and a jacket. "Aren’t these the coolest?" JJ points at the image above his. "Hey, I think that one is you. Wow. Yours looks awesome!" The image of Adara’s character has long hair, a vacant expression, is holding a fan, and wearing a revealing garment.

Adara quietly replies, "Yeah… Awesome…"

Melinda raises an eyebrow as she looks at Adara and then at the screen. She frowns before looking back at Adara. Melinda approaches Adara and asks, "Is everything okay?"

"Sure it is," JJ responds. "Right, Adara?" Adara nods.

"I was speaking to Adara," Melinda sharply reacts to JJ.

JJ jumps back in fear. He assures, "Uh. Sorry, I was just…"

Adara looks at JJ. He nods and walks away to give the two some privacy. "He means well," Adara assures. "But… No. I don’t want to hurt my team, but… I don’t feel comfortable competing in this challenge."

"It’s totally understandable," Melinda assures. "No need to be scared to speak up for yourself." Melinda looks at Rhys. "I assure you the challenge wasn’t quite like this before Rhys got a hold of it."

"It’s okay," Adara insists. "I’m used to it." Melinda frowns but nods.

JJ steps near Adara as she sits on a bench against the wall. He assures, "Hey. I heard you chose to sit out. Was it something I said?"

"No," Adara assures. "Of course not."

JJ lets out a sigh of relief. He says, "Good. I was scared for a moment." Adara looks down. "Hey. Don’t be hard on yourself. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, but I’ll win this for us, so it’s a non issue."

Adara smiles. "Thank you, JJ." JJ nods and steps back toward the rest of the group. Adara looks on.

Ivy raises a hand. Rhys states, "Yes, Ivy?"

Ivy asks, "Yes. I was wondering if we must select the characters obviously modeled after us, or if we can select another?"

"You mean the character designs I painstakingly put every ounce of my energy into getting perfect and giving a completely unique and customized move set?" Rhys asks.

Ivy nods. She says, "Yes.” She points at a green character wearing a pink top hat and matching tuxedo. "I am most fond of the cactus one."

Rhys assures as he speaks through his closed, clenched teeth, "Sure. I mean it wouldn’t be much of a character selection screen if you didn’t get to choose whoever you wanted based on fleeting whims and preferences." Rhys’ eye twitches uncontrollably.

Ivy lowers her hand as she looks uneasy. "It appears I have upset the balance. I will choose the avatar based on me."

Rhys smiles wide. "Great! Not that you should consider your path linear, by any means."

"Uh," Nolan adds. "We should let the fighting games begin. We will have one on one matches. Each team will select a team member to represent their team for each round. Once a contestant is defeated, they can no longer play, and the team of the round winner will get another turn until they lose. Then it rotates to the non participating team. The team with the most KOs after two teams are eliminated wins. Last place is the team with the least KOs. By random selection, Tenacious Tigers, and Bewildered Bears… You’re our first two teams to compete."

The contestants exit to a dressing room to change into their virtual reality bodysuits. JJ returns and looks at where Adara was seated earlier to see she is no longer there. He looks disappointed for a moment. "So…" Rhys states, as his team is gathered in a huddle. "Who should we select as player one?"

"How about me?" Ulysses ask.

"Nah," Rhys responds. "You’re more of an NPC." Ulysses frowns. "Plus… Way too handsome to get beat up first." Ulysses now smiles and blushes.

"I guess I’ll go," Hoagie volunteers.

Olive poses with her phone, as she takes a selfie to commemorate her bodysuit. She questions, "Are we sure that’s a good idea, given that lug nut cost us the challenge last time?"

"I mean, he does have a lot to prove," Ivy suggests. "It’s a noble gesture in order to set things back in place, and hopefully work toward making the teams even, again." Ivy holds her hands together as she makes the suggestion.

"Sounds good to me," Rhys states with a nod.

Nolan, Melinda, and the other teams are now all gathered. Melinda announces, "You can all now place your VR sets over your eyes and we can begin." The present contestants respond by doing so.

Wally holds his cactus branch up in front of his eyes. He says, "Wow! I look so real!" Francie holds up her hands and looks amazed as she looks at them, as well. Her character is in full kabuki make up.

Inside the game, Melinda and Nolan also look down at their designs. Melinda, wearing a fancy feathered hat, veil, long dress with a high slit in the skirt, and an elaborate gun for an arm, states, "Rhys really went all out."

"We look awesome," Nolan states. His character’s design wears long sleeves, and pants, and is holding two fans.

Nicole folds her arms as she looks at the hosts. "Can we got on with the challenge? Everyone is tired of hearing you two go on."

Melinda raises an eyebrow. She replies, "Alright? So…" She holds her non-gun arm up toward the selection menu. "Player one is from the Tenacious Tigers. We have… Kayleigh!" Kayleigh disappears from the crowd and reappears on the character selection area. She seems to be a vampire of sorts, with an unbelievable amount of cleavage.

Melinda adds, "The second player chosen is… For the Bewildered Bears… Hoagie!" Hoagie disappears from the group and reappears on the selection screen wearing a green bolero and baggy pants, as well as a long red scarf and inexplicable, oversized nail on his back. Melinda blinks. "What is with this outfit?"

"It’s probably what the kids are wearing in Japan, or something," Nolan guesses.

Hoagie asks, "Let’s rock and roll." He pauses for a moment. "Wait. Who am I beating the ever living snot out of?" He looks over to see Kayleigh blowing him a kiss.

"Go easy on me," Kayleigh requests.

Hoagie’s next words are, "Homina Homina…" His eyes are wide.

With a gated town as the backdrop, Rhys pulls Ulysses aside. Rhys’ character model is a tall, muscular design with a long ponytail and tight blue shorts with a red stripe up the side. Ulysses is clothed in a long trench coat with a matching fedora. He is also holding a grappling hook. "How do you like my work?" Rhys asks.

"Really outstanding," Ulysses compliments. "I’m amazed." He looks at Rhys’ characters bare chest. "Your design is so… beefy."

Rhys looks at his fingernails. He insists, "Yeah. I had to tone down my physique a little. I don’t want everyone to be distracted."

"Huh?" Ulysses asks, as he looks up at Rhys’ eyes, with face paint around them. "What were you saying?"

Rhys laughs. "It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you and I need to exit the program while everyone else stays logged in."

"Why?" Ulysses asks, looking concerned. "Shouldn’t we be giving this our all? We don’t want to lose two challenges in a row, right?"

"Relax," Rhys responds. "I buffed our team’s stats, and nerfed the others. There’s no way we can lose. There’s something I need your help with." He places a meaty hand on Ulysses shoulder. Ulysses blushes. "Plus, I’ve been wanting some alone time with you."

Ulysses stammers, "Y-y-you d-do?" Rhys nods. "Well, even if we leave the game, won’t everyone realize we’re missing?"

"I like the way you think," Rhys assures. "Basic. I have thought this through from every polygon, i assure you. When we leave, I will set up our characters as AI combatants. With my expertise, no one will be able to tell the difference."

Ulysses looks back at the others as they spectate the match between Kayleigh and Hoagie. "How do we leave?" Ulysses looks back at Rhys. He looks down at Rhys’ feet as Rhys begins to vanish. His character model slowly begins to disappear as exes, circles, and squares rise up as the red haired man exits the game. Rhys reaches for Ulysses face, as he flinches, and pulls his hand back. Ulysses looks down and realizes he is no longer in the game. He looks back at the screen to see their models disappear.

Rhys cracks his knuckles. "Time to work some more of my magic." Rhys approaches a keyboard and types away. Ulysses watches as their character models are restored. The characters look blank as they walk over to the crowd watching the fight. Rhys smiles as he raises a hand toward the screen.

"It looks great… I just hope this works," Ulysses assures. "So… What are we doing exactly?"

Rhys places his hands together. "You’re going to assist me, no questions asked." The two men head toward the changing room, as Rhys leads him by the hand.

On the screen, Kayleigh stands with one foot on Hoagie’s chest as he lies motionless on the ground.

Kayleigh’s team members applaud and cheer. Ivy raises an eyebrow as she looks at Rhys and Ulysses, also politely clapping. Nolan announces, "The first match goes to the Tenacious Tigers. Congratulations!"

JJ has his arms folded. He states, "Come on, man. You barely put up a fight."

Hoagie looks over at a smiling Kayleigh, who is being praised by her team. Hoagie admits, "I’d call it a win/win."

Melinda instructs, "Tenacious Tigers and Listless Lions, please select your competitors."

The Listless Lions huddle together, as Gage leans back against a wall. He confirms, "Video games are for normies. I’m more into tabletop gaming, like Peddlers of Kaftan or Epidemic."

"Never heard of them," Xiong relays.

Gage narrows his eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Anyway, who do we choose to go first?" Xiong asks. He rubs his chin with a green boxing glove.

"Put me in!" Evelyn requests. She is wearing an eye patch and blue tank top with a white star pattern on it. "I’m ready to jump off that building." Evelyn points at a nearby skyscraper as the players are now standing in a city stage. "Paige would definitely notice that!" Evelyn waves at Paige, standing with her team nearby. Paige responds with a slight blush and a small wave. Sanjay looks at her and swoons.

"I like the passion," Valencia assures, excitedly, clasping her hands together.

"Me, too," Connie assures. She cringes. "But I don’t think jumping off the building is exactly the way to win this challenge."

"Passion is overrated," Gage states, matter of factly. "I say we put in minimal effort and let Ty compete in every fight."

"Me?" Ty asks. He seems surprised, and nervous.

"What?" Evelyn asks, seeming frustrated. "I want my shot, too." She rubs her chin. "I wonder if I will feel anything when I make impact with the ground. I sure hope so."

"Okay," Gage responds with a nonchalant shoulder shrug. "If you want to risk going home at this point, that’s your call."

Connie taps her chin and admits, "Ty did carry our team to victory last time. I think Gage has a point if we want to stay away from the elimination ceremonies." She pauses and looks at Ty. "I mean, if Ty wants to."

Ty rubs the back of his head. He admits, "I don’t think this is my challenge. I never played a fighting game before. I’m more of a lover than a fighter, and I’m most definitely a virgin." The others eyes widen. "... I think I overshared a little. Besides, I don’t want to hurt anyone."

"It’s just a video game," Gage assures. "None of it is real."

"Remember how good you did last time?" Connie asks. "You need to believe in yourself more. And if it doesn’t work, we can switch things up then."

Ty smiles, slightly. "Alright. If you believe in me… Let’s go, Tenacious Tigers!"

"Uh," Connie reacts. "We’re the Listless Lions."

"Oh, right," Ty replies. He forces a smile.

Outside of the game, Rhys and Ulysses walk up to a room. "This is where you saw Nolan walk out of?" Ulysses nods. Rhys tries to turn the handle. "Just as I thought, the door is locked. Oh, well. Guess that’s that."

Ulysses reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a key ring. "If anyone asks, I didn’t do it, but these are Nolan’s keys. He left them in the changing room for the challenge."

Rhys places his hands on Ulysses shoulders. "My dude, I love the way you think."

"I love you, too." Ulysses replies with his eyelids lowered. He blushes after realizing what he said. "Sorry, I…"

Rhys laughs. "You’re a laugh riot, U-U." Rhys takes the keys from Ulysses, and begins to try to unlock the door, cycling from one key to the next. Ulysses smiles.

Back at the challenge, the Listless Lions, excluding Ty, sit or stand on the street as they look on top of the skyscraper where Ty is competing for his team. "Which one is this?" Wally asks.

"I think it’s his fifth victory in a row," Connie answers.

An overhead announcer states, "Team Listless Lion Wins!"

"This guy is something else," Evelyn states as she punches at the air.

"Trust me," Gage states. "We put this guy front and center in every challenge, and we just lean back and sail right through the premerge." Gage says this while leaning back on a vehicle.

Valencia looks to her side at the setting. She asks, "What is with all these abandoned cars on this street?"

Back at the door with Ulysses and Rhys, Rhys sighs. "I’m down to the last key. Are you sure these were how Nolan locked this door?"

"Yes. I mean…" Ulysses begins.

Rhys raises his arm in the air. "Win!" He turns the handle and the door opens. Ulysses excitedly claps. Rhys and Ulysses look into the room, which appears to be some sort of storage room with many cabinets and storage containers. Rhys throws his head back. He states, "The side quest continues." Rhys puts a hand on Ulysses’ shoulder. Ulysses looks at Rhys’ hand with a slight smile. Rhys proceeds to push Ulysses into the room. Rhys pokes his head inside and observes. "Sick. No booby traps." Rhys steps over Ulysses in order to enter the room. A shadowy figure approaches the room and stands against the wall just outside. The person leans forward into the light in order look inside revealing that it is Adara.

In confessional, Adara states, "I don’t know what those two are up to, let alone how they stepped away from the challenge. Maybe they were eliminated early? I just have a feeling they’re up to something." Adara looks to the side. "I also can’t help but think that Rhys knows I’m onto him." Adara looks back toward the camera. "I think he altered my character on purpose…" She adds, "I hope JJ is doing well in the challenge. I’m sure he is."

Ty and JJ stand on a rooftop of a skyscraper. The background instantaneously changes from day to night. A large set of letters reading ‘FIGHT!’ appears in front of the guys, as the announcer voice states the same word.

"Let’s dance!" JJ taunts as he points at Ty.

Ty immediately shouts, “Hoboken!" He shoots a blue ball of energy from the palm of his hands.

A stunned JJ shouts, "What the hell is even that?!"

As JJ is put on a stretcher by some NPCs, he says, "Not cool, man."

"Ah! Sorry!" Ty apologizes.

JJ admits, "What was with that energy ball? That was a low blow… I was going to keep it classy, and punch you in the nuts, or something." JJ is carried off, groaning. Ty looks on blankly.

Mason, dressed in a tight yellow and green half shirt, matching pants, and with dreadlocks, sits on the ground as the stage changes to ancient China. He looks in the distance, as Kayleigh sits down next to him. She says, "Cool backdrop, huh? I think it’s supposed to be Peru, or something." She looks around.

Mason replies with a disinterested, "Uh-huh."

Kayleigh states, "You seem to be enjoying the view." She looks in the direction that Mason is looking. Her eyes widen when she sees Burton, shirtless, wearing blue tights, and his arms appearing to be made of metal. He holds an arm up to touch a tree, which glitches out before returning to its normal setting. "No way!" Kayleigh shouts.

Mason looks startled before looking over at her. "What is it?" Mason asks.

"You like him!" Kayleigh realizes loudly.

Mason puts a hand over Kayleigh’s mouth. He insists, "Not so loud!" Mason removes his hand.

"Hey, I don’t mind," Kayleigh assures. "Less competition for the washed up rocker’s affection."

"What now?" Mason replies, with a raised eyebrow. Mason looks back at Burton. "I don’t know for sure. He seems like a super nice guy, and all, but the way he stepped up for the team without complaining in the last challenge really made me look at him in a different way. I just feel guilty for throwing him under the…" Mason pauses and looks at Kayleigh, who has an invested expression. "Spotlight. Throwing him under the spotlight."

Kayleigh tilts her head to the side. She says, "Huh. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were expecting him to fail the acting challenge and get voted out." Mason looks at Kayleigh with wide eyes. Kayleigh laughs. "I’m just messing with you." Mason sighs in relief. Kayleigh looks away. "I wonder if they’re planning an after party after this."

"Looks like I’m up next." Mason stands up and stretches. He admits, "I don’t think I have it in me to be a strategist, anyway. Viewing people as pawns is hard for me to do without feeling bad. No sir. I’ve done a lot of working out in the last few years. I need to approach this game with the challenge king mindset."

Kayleigh smiles. She adds, "Hey." Mason looks down at her. "I think you should go for it."

Mason nods. "I will do my best." He gets led toward the next fighting arena by NPCs where Ty waits for him. He looks back at Kayleigh. "Wait… You’re talking about the challenge, right?" Mason looks over at Ty, who gives him a polite wave. Mason looks behind him. "Huh. Isn’t it weird that we can only walk forward and backward over here? What’s the deal with that?" Ty smiles and shrugs.

The announcer voice announces ‘Fight!’ Ty’s demeanor quickly changes to be more serious, as he looks down at the ground, as Mason looks concerned. Mason takes a stance holding up his fists.

Mason is the next to be carried away on a stretcher. A nearby Burton rushes over to him. Nicole looks over at them for a moment with her arms folded and lets out a small huff. "Something stinks." She narrows her eyes. "And it’s love."

Melinda and Nolan are standing next to Nicole. Melinda assures, "You’re sounding like someone from my past…"

"Yeah." Nolan insists, "Give those guys a break."

"Those guys?" Nicole asks, with a raised eyebrow and intimidating snarl.

"Uh… I think so?" Nolan hesitates to say.

"I’m talking about you two!" Nicole growls. "Whose big idea was it to cast a married couple as the hosts? I have some choice words for the producers, and hopefully they break you up."

"You think we’re…" Melinda begins, looking shocked. She looks at Nolan.

"Blech!" Nolan interrupts, looking disgusted as he sticks his tongue out.

Melinda looks back at Nicole, as she waves her arm and gun arm. She assures, "We’re not a couple." Nolan spits in the background.

"You’re not?" Nicole asks, still not looking convinced.

"We’re brother and sister," Melinda clarifies.

Nicole lowers her eyebrows and her snarl fades. She responds, "Oh. Ok. Never mind then." Nicole nonchalantly walks away. "Now that that’s cleared up, I can focus on ruining someone else’s love life." Melinda and Nolan look at each other and wince.

As Rhys and Ulysses continue to search through the storage room. Ulysses asks, "Hey, Rhys."

"Please, call me GameBoyRhys," Rhys insists.

"Ok… Game Boy Rhys," Ulysses replies.

Rhys shakes his head. "It’s GameBoyRhys. No spaces."

Ulysses blinks. "GameBoyRhys… It would help if I knew what we were searching for. Incriminating evidence against the other players, or maybe our psych evals?"

"You’ll know it when you see it," Rhys assures.

"Why am I sacrificing my game for this guy, again?" Ulysses mutters under his breath. Ulysses lowers his eyelids, as he looks frustrated, until Rhys bends over directly in his line of vision to search through a cabinet. Ulysses eyes widen, again. "Oh, yeah…" Ulysses reaches into a tote. He stops momentarily before looking down. He states, "Wait." He looks down. "Is this…"

Rhys looks over Ulysses shoulder. He excitedly states, "You found it! My phone!" Rhys reaches from behind Ulysses to pick up his phone, pushing Ulysses down in the process. They both stand up. Rhys states, "I could kiss you!"

"I’m okay with that," Ulysses consents. Ulysses leans in for a kiss and closes his eyes. Rhys kisses his phone. Ulysses opens his eyes after nothing happens for a while. He looks around to see Rhys has left the room. "Rhys?" He looks toward the door. "Rhys, is that you?"

Melinda is standing in the doorway with her arms folded. Ulysses is startled. "How did you get in here?" Melinda rubs the bridge of her nose. "No. What are you doing in here?"

"I…" Ulysses begins. He looks to the side. "Got lost."

The other contestants, excluding Rhys and Ulysses, are seated in a waiting room. Adara asks, "So did we win the challenge?"

JJ shakes his head. "Nah, we came in last. Ty wiped the floor with us. Guy low key scares me…" JJ points in Ty’s direction. "He’s been going around apologizing to everyone." Adara and JJ look over at a very apologetic Ty making the rounds to each other contestant. "Kayleigh’s the only other one who got a win." Adara holds her head down. "But don’t worry. I have your back, even though you’re the only one who opted out of the challenge."

Adara insists, "That’s not right. I saw Rhys and Ulysses snooping around."

"That can’t be," JJ insists. "They were there the entire time in the game. I saw Ulysses and Rhys’ big meaty body. Admittedly, they were acting weird, and kept walking backwards and jumping when they should have been fighting."

Adara admits, "I don’t know how, but they couldn’t be in two places at once." Adara places a hand under chin. ".دعني أفكر"

JJ blinks, before asking, "What did you say? Are you speaking in code, or…"

Adara asks, "What?” She looks at JJ. "Code?" Her eyes widen. "Code!" Adara excitedly claps her hands in quick succession, before walking away. She walks back to JJ and explains, "I don’t have much time to strategize. I have to go speak with the others." JJ blinks a few additional times as Adara walks away, again.

Melinda walks up with Ulysses behind her. She calls Nolan over and explains the situation quietly. "I found this one in the storage room. It’s been ransacked. It looks like a Squidnado tore through it." Melinda looks to the side. "That I would pay to see." Nolan looks surprised, as Ulysses glares to the side.

Ivy steps up. She volunteers, "I did not hear all of what you said, but I sense a mess needs to be cleaned up. I volunteer my services." Melinda and Nolan look back at Ivy blankly.

Rhys walks down a hall holding his phone. Ulysses looks up at him. Ulysses says, “Hey, Rhys. I was wondering where you went to. If you need a sidekick, or…"

Rhys responds, "Maybe later, my guy. I’m trying to get some reception. See you." Rhys walks away.

"Yeah," Ulysses replies. "See you." He looks down.

At the elimination ceremony, again held in the room with the large fireplace. Melinda addresses the team, "This is the second elimination the Bewildered Bears are attending in a row." Nolan holds up a silver, covered tray and lifts the lid. Seven figures depicting the team are on the tray. Melinda states, "Olive, Ivy, Hoagie, and JJ… You all did poorly, but surprisingly not the worst." Melinda signals and Nolan hands statuettes to each of the mentioned players.

"I’ll take it," Hoagie states as he holds his figure out. "Hey, I’m kind of hot." He rotates the statuette.

Melinda stalks around the bottom three. She explains, "Adara… Though your reasons for not participating in the challenge were valid, some members of the team thought your participation could have turned the tide in their favor. They are afraid your convictions may hinder your performance in other challenges." Adara looks down. Melinda next approaches Rhys. "Rhys… Your team just doesn’t seem to like you very much."

Rhys responds, "They hate me cuz they ain’t me." He leans back in his chair with his hands behind his head.

Melinda next walks by Ulysses. She explains, "You were found digging where you shouldn’t have been. Your team thinks you may have abandoned the challenge."

"I was…" Ulysses begins. Ulysses looks at Rhys, who does not acknowledge his gaze. "Caught red handed…"

Melinda places the three remaining figures on an end table. She abruptly pulls a taser out from behind her back and aims it at one of the statuettes. The surge of electricity causes it to explode, as the contestants shield themselves. "The contestant eliminated from the competition is…"

"Rhys."

Rhys stands up. "You got me. GG." He points at the other team members playfully. "Well, see you losers never." He laughs. "I’m kidding… Anyway… I’m out." Rhys abruptly rushes out of the room. Adara looks at Ulysses who seems disappointed.

"That was… unceremonious," Ivy observes with a frown. She turns to Nolan. "So can I organize that room, now?"

"What is up with that kid?" Melinda asks.

Nolan and Melinda look at each other uneasily. Nolan assures, "I’ll get the staff to make sure he doesn’t sneak off." Melinda nods as Nolan steps away.

Melinda addresses the camera, "Be sure to catch our next episode of Total… Drama… Lodge."

Later that night, Xiong sits alone at the dining room table. He begins to bob his head as he begins dozing off. "Hey, man. This seat taken?"

"Quincy?" Xiong asks.

Hoagie shakes his head. "Nah, just the thug with the ugly mug." He points at his face.

Xiong laughs. "You are far from ugly. What are you doing here?"

Hoagie explains, "Had a feeling you could use some company."

"I think I got stood up," Xiong admits. Xiong smiles. "But it’s alright."

"I think that nature boy only has room in his heart for squirrels and tree bark," Hoagie assures. "His loss. You seem like a cool dude… I mean that platonically, of course." Xiong laughs and nods.

Xiong asks, "How has your time been here? Seems like Kayleigh has taken a liking to you?"

Hoagie shrugs his bare shoulders. He wipes his hair out of his face. "She’s a lot of fun, but I don’t think my family would approve of her. They always wanted me to find a nice Jewish girl."

"Pffft. Who cares what they think?" Xiong asks. "That doesn’t sound very metal."

"It’s not," Hoagie assures. "But… uh… Enough about me."

Xiong nods. He says, "I say you should follow your heart."

Hoagie looks down and then up at Xiong. "You think so?" Xiong nods. "I was thinking of breaking things off with Kayleigh, but maybe I’ll reconsider. Thanks, man." Hoagie leans in for a hug, but then switches to a fist bump.

Rhys looks around a corner before holding up his phone. He states into it, "Sorry about being AFK for the last two days, but your game boy Rhys is back in action with a surprise livestream. I’m coming to you live from Total Drama Lodge where I was freshly eliminated. Wah wah! But don’t worry about me. I broke away, and I’m going to go full stealth mode and show you the behind the scenes of the…" Rhys squats down and begins to whisper. "Someone is coming. I have to lay low so they don’t…" Rhys’ eyes widen as he abruptly starts to attempt to evade someone or something.

Melinda looks up from a large armchair as she drinks from a large wine glass. She asks, "Did you find him?"

Nolan nods. He rubs the back of his head. "It wasn’t pretty, but he’s been dealt with."

"We can at least rest a little easier," Melinda assures with a smirk.

## Trivia

* The story group image features characters in their winter wear. Some of the designs were done fully on their character model, while the majority were added directly on this image. The ones done fully on the character models have been uploaded to their pages.