Eels Are My Religion

## Episode page

Dr. Gameshow Episode 67: Eels Are My Religion

## In-studio guests

Will Miles

Giulia Rozzi

> Ummmmmmmmm
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> Hey is this a town
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> from Arkansas
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> Hey, or
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> is this a town
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> from some cartoon show?
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> Boobadooboobadooboodadooboobadoobop
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#### How to play

Jo will read the name of a town, and players guess whether it's the name of a real town in Arkansas, or the name of a town from a cartoon. Most correct answers wins. I came up with thirteen names, so if there are three players, I guess that's four rounds and a tie-breaker? I hope that's enough to make the game work.

### Follow the Leader

#### Theme song lyrics

(to the tune-ish of Frosty the Snowman)

> Follow the leader, and then I'll
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> get some cash, and I'll
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> put it in your
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> bank account, and then I'll
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> order a plate of hash
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> browns
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#### Necessary background

Who wants to join a boring, old religion at the bottom rung of the ladder when you could start an exciting, new religion and be king of the hill? You are starting a new cult, and you have no members yet. You meet a stranger on the street (Manolo).

#### How to play

Describe your religion to him and try to convince him to join. Scoring: -1 point if Manolo runs away, +1 point if Manolo makes a donation, +2 points if Manolo agrees to attend a service, +5 points if Manolo gives you all his money and gives up his life to join!

#### Caller Nat's proposed religion [editor's note: I just loved this]

"You wake up in the morning, first thing you do is you paint an egg. I don't mean you paint on an egg, like Easter, I mean you paint a painting of an egg while you eat a hard-boiled egg. You only have the time that it takes to eat a hard-boiled egg to paint the egg. Once you're done, you're done. You're done eating the egg, you're done painting the egg. Next thing you do is you paint an egg. This time it is like Easter. You're gonna paint that egg, and then you're gonna hide 'em. What's everyone's favorite part of Easter? The Easter egg hunt. What's everyone's least-favorite part of the Easter egg hunt? Having to look for all the eggs. Here's the great thing about our Easter egg hunt: you get a map. We tell you where all the eggs are. Also, it's not Easter. It's every day, it's for every meal. All your food is in little tiny plastic eggs, and everywhere you go it'll be, like, a little dollop of mashed potatoes in a plastic egg, or like, part of a pork chop, as much as you can fit into a plastic egg. Things like that, like under your dad's couch. And you're just gonna look under your dad's couch and fish out as many eggs as you want. It's like portion control. You want four eggs' worth of mashed potatoes? Well, just look under the couch for that long. If you want more than four eggs' worth of mashed potatoes, you gotta look in other places, 'cause I only put four of 'em under your dad's couch. And if you need salvation, we've got that, too."

### Swap Ya

#### Theme song lyrics

> Swap Ya
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> I won't stop ya
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> but I got ya
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> to play this game it's called
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> Swap Ya
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> now
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#### How to play

You are holding something in your hands. Manolo, Jo, and the other contestants are holding something else. You have thirty seconds to convince the other players that they should swap items with you. Contestants and callers take turns being the one proposing the swap. For every person that says they would be willing to swap, you get 1 point.

House rule: Jo isn't holding anything in her hands.

### Eels a'plenty

#### Necessary background

You are an 18th-century chimneysweep plying your trade in merry old London Town. Unfortunately your closest friend has contracted consumption. Thankfully you are familiar with a local apothecary that stocks a curative potion. Alas, the apothecary is all out of the cure. Looks like you'll need to take your eel bucket and gather some eels instead. Eels should know the cure the consumption.

#### How to play

Manolo and Jo alternate pretending to be an eel. Remember, eels are notoriously finicky. Each player has an opportunity to try and convince Manolo and/or Jo to be gathered. If Manolo or Jo feel the player has presented a convincing argument towards why the eel should be gathered, player earns 1 eel. First player to gather three eels cures their friend of consumption and wins the game. Good luck, and happy eel-gathering.

House rules: use accents, and you get 15 seconds to convince the eels.

## Trivia

Jo found out on this day that there's a guy who calls himself "the game show doctor." He goes in and fixes tv shows. Maybe he adds more lights or buzzers.

A frequent caller named Blitz got promoted to producer during this episode.