Pilot

**Pilot** is the first ever episode of Family Universe Chapter 1. It was released on the 17th of October.

## Episode

*Wikia Headquarters*

**CONNOR:** Where the fuck are my gucci flip flops

**BELA:** Here bitch

*Bela swings at Connor with gucci flip flops and beats him to death*

**BELA:** Its joke

*At the house*

**MANDY:** Oh my god where the fuck is my cousin

**MANDY:** Lenhi!

**MANDY:** Lenhi I have chicken wings

**LENHI:** Hello bitch

**MANDY:** Paul proposed to me

**LENHI:** Ew beards

*Lenhi walks off*

**MANDY:** Um ok...

**MANDY:** Oh Crim , Paul proposed to me

**CRIM:** Shush I’m cutting myself over saw wikia

*Crim walks off*

**MANDY:** Mum he finally proposed to me

**CLAIRE:** I don’t care

**MANDY:** But mum I’m your daught...

**CLAIRE:** Bye I’m going to my other child that I love

*Claire walks off*

**MANDY:**  Abusive bitch

**MANDY:** OH MY GOD MICHELLE GUESS WHAT

**MICHELLE:** Sorry bitch but my hair restoration clinic rung

**MANDY:** But what can be more important then Paul proposing to me

**MICHELLE:** Catherine Hobart losing her hair, bye bitch

*Michelle slut walks off*

**MANDY:** Ulises , your finally getting a dad

**ULISES:** But like you had sex with someone and their my dad

**MANDY:** Yeah but this time it’s someone who will act as a real father

**ULISES:** I don’t care though I have better things to do , like wank off to gay porn

**MANDY:** What the fuck

*Ulises walks off*

**MANDY:** Oh my god why is everyone ignoring me

**MANDY:** Oh Reg

**REG:** Oh hey Mandy

**MANDY:** Lmao

**REG:** STOP , YOUR LMAOS ARE SCARY

*Reg runs* off

**MANDY:** I cry why is no-one happy for me

**MICHELLE MEYER:** Hey Mandy

**MANDY:** SCREAM HELP

*Suddenely a gun shot is heard and Michelle falls to the ground dead*

**PAUL:** Thats what she gets

**MANDY:** Oh my god so hawt

*In the kitchen*

**TOM:** Hm , I think that goes there

**CLAIRE:** Boo

**TOM:** Tara Dikov

**CLAIRE:** Um what the fuck

**TOM:** Shupermodel

**CLAIRE:** Can you not

**TOM:** Squat

*Ulises walks in with lube*

**ULISES:** Your so stupid Claire , he’s saying Tara Dikov songs

**CLAIRE:** She’s a slut , bye

*Claire walks out with alcohol*

**ULISES:** Tom lets karaoke Tara

**TOM:** Um obv

*Psycho Club*

**JESSICA:** I’m like totally not scared of heights

**SIERRA:** Oh my gawd Jessica why are you lying

**GABBY:** Why am I even here

**JESSICA:** Shut the fuck Tanedra got a better role than you
and shes an independent black women from Inglewood

**TANEDRA:** IT WAS MY GOOD ACTING SKILLS AND NOT MY COLOUR THAT GOT ME HERE

*Tanedra gets sedated and kidnapped*

**SIERRA:** No-one liked that bitch

*Criminal enters the room*

**CRIMINAL:** Hello guys

**JESSICA:** I’m PSYCHO

**CRIMINAL:** I know

**SIERRA:** Sorry the tutu on my head fell off

**JESSICA:** Gurl you cray cray

**CRIMINAL:** Have you seen Gabby

**JESSICA:** She was here a minute ago

*The horsepower trap*

**GABBY:** HELP HELP , HELP ME , WHY DID I WASTE MY LIFE ON A SHITTY REALITY SHOW TO FUCKING DIE , HELP ME NOW , PLEASE , HELP ME

**JIGSAW:** Hello Gabby , I would like to play a game

**GABBY:** Oh for fuck sake

*At the house*

**MADDIE:** ...

*Lachi enters*

**MADDIE:** ...

**LACHI:** Um hello

**MADDIE:** ...

*BITCH enters*

**BITCH:** Meow

**MADDIE:** ...

**LACHI:** Can I help you

**MADDIE:** ...

**LACHI:** Um I’m ringing the police

**MADDIE:** ...

*Reg enters*

**REG:** What the fuck is going on... Maddie hello , follow me

*Reg and* Maddie walk off

**LACHI:** I’m more confused about this then I was about Donald Trump running for president

*Mandy’s Bedroom*

*Lenhi and Mandy are in tears eating chicken wings*

**MANDY:** Why would she say that though

**LENHI:** Your friends suck

**MANDY:** Pass another chicken wing

*Criminal enters*

**CRIMINAL:** Get the fuck downstairs now

**MANDY:** WERE EATING CHICKEN WINGS

**LENHI:** DON’T INTERRUPT US

*Tom runs in*

**TOM:** SOMEONES FUCKING DEAD

**MANDY:** What