Case of Cockiness Syndrome/Confessionals

### Day 5

Being on this tribe is a true struggle at times, and I think the beginning of this challenge emphasised why. We had people who couldn't spell a five letter word and we had someone who thought "21th" was the way to spell it. It just makes me emotional and overwhelmed because I'm not used to being around people like this and it does get really hard at times. Like some people on this tribe are acting like we deserve a noble peace award for counting to 150 and back and like IRL I just have my standards a lot higher than that???

* stops tearing up\*

In my original season I had people like Benj and Anthony who I could relate to a lot and who I could always go to and talk to. And on this tribe I don't think there's anyone like that which sucks.

* starts to tear up again\*

It just gets really overwhelming being with a lot of people with personalities I'm not used to. I'm sure they're all nice people on the inside but right now I'm just struggling talking to a lot of them and I've never really had this issue before in past games. :(

* takes a big breath in and stops crying\*

But for now I'm gonna have my head held up high and try my best with these people. I always like a challenge!

If I had to vote out someone on the spot, it'd be Shippo. He didn't help us at all during the challenge, which really angers me. At least Louise had something with her computer I think, but Shippo disappeared into thin air. It sucks because I do love most of this tribe, but I'm going to continue this anti-Shippo train in my confessionals. I really want to begin planting the seeds to get rid of him, and if he lose, I guess I'll make him my personal target, and make the reasoning that he didn't help at all during the challenge. ¯\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I think for once I'm actually doing okay in an ORG, and I'm proud of myself so far. As long as I don't swap into a bad position if there is a swap a few cycles down the road, I can really see myself making it to the merge for once. I'm probably going to keep my head in the moment, but I'm really hoping that happens.

Ah this is stressful, should I really be thinking about this just yet?

Me: Well Brian seems mad at Devon over the challenge....
Patrick: So it's Devon vs. Alex for the vote then
Me: .....ok!
Me:
Me to Nicole and Brian: We have to get rid of Patrick

* 1 hour later\*

The entire tribe: Patrick's a SNAKE we cannot TRUST him he is THROWING OUT NAAAAAMES. R u fine with voting him out?
I really hope this doesn't bite me in the ass but even if it does this tribal is reminding me a lot of my first tribal from Idalia because it really feels like I might be in control but I have this feeling of foreboding that's telling me it's all gonna come crashing down on me before I know it. It might seem like I'm getting my way now but that could all change in an instant, which I already know all too well! Hopefully though by 10 PM Patrick will be voted out :)

### Day 6

However, there is one thing concerning me. So I thought my main issue in this game would be Marie being tied to me on the other tribe and being targeted for that, but right now, my main issue is being tied to Zakriah. It's kinda weird because I've never really openly talked about him to anyone, but Patrick blamed him and I for targeting Devon... when I never even talked to Patrick about the vote KJDHAS... idk... either way, I hope to kinda dispel the rumors because Dovile thinks we're really good together.. Devon, too... so like I'm just going to run with the fact that they trust me and we can move on with our lives. I'll update my trust thoughts later tonight!

1. Alex - Again, I trust Alex leaps and bounds above everyone else on my tribe, but I have just grown to love him more now that we are actually forming a bond outside of the attached bond to Zack. I felt like Zack would be our only reason to be tied together, but it turns out I just really love talking to him. I feel like he's not super social with everyone which made him a target for Anita/Patrick, but he's really social with me.
2. Zakriah - Love a king! We have just grown closer through this game, and I actually adore working with him and Nicole so much. Easily one of my fave little groups (not above BAM, of course). I think I trust him more than Nicole just because I knew him before this and already kinda had a connection to work with!
3. Nicole - We stan one miss queen Nicole! I was so excited to meet Nicole in this game in general once the cast was announced, and now I finally have that basis in our relationship where I feel so comfy working with her for the future of this game!
4. Devon - I think Devon kinda has this blind trust thing going on, and while I do like him a lot, I do not trust him or anyone below him enough to really say I feel solid with them longterm. They're good for now (as long as they're being truthful).
5. Dovile - I really enjoy talking to Dovile, but she's a smart cookie and she's definitely catching on to me and Zakriah, so I don't trust her in the longterm either. If things change, things change, but I think she's just someone I talk to a bunch and have a very distant game relationship with!
6. Anita - I think my only issue with Anita right now is literally that she doesn't talk to Alex and was the first to mention his name. I like her a lot otherwise. She's really quirky in the best way possible!
7. Patrick - I like Patrick, but he dug his own grave this round... Zak planted some seeds and Patrick flew with it! I do like him a lot, I just... wouldn't trust him in the longterm so I hope all goes to plan and he goes this round!

Nothing new has developed over the past 24 hours or so, and everything is just very eerie and static. This worries me because people seem to be getting too comfortable. If we do end up going to tribal council in the future, I'm scared it could be total chaos. It'd be best if we don't and people will want to stay loyal post-swap and post-merge, but overall, I am a bit uneasy of what's to come in the future.
I really hope if we go to tribal on Day 8/9, the people I'm closest to stick by me, and I get rid of someone I can't see myself working with going forward, and could have the potential to flip in the future!

You know, it's never good to lose the first two challenges in a row, it just inevitably puts you in a shitty position come a tribe swap, which I am anticipating happening somewhat soon. Hoping it doesn't though since I want to continue my algorithmic search of the idol. Which will probably take me another few days at least. To my knowledge I don't need it for this tribal which is a bit of relief. To my knowledge the vote is between Alex and Devon, and I believe that having Devon around will be much more beneficial to me compared to Alex. Let me just put this simply, Zakriah, he needs an ass whoopin'. Apparently after I told him I think that the vote might end up being between Alex and Devon pretty soon after we lost the challenge, he slithered around camp telling everyone INCLUDING Alex that I brought his name up. While I guess it's technically true that I did originally bring Alex up, it doesn't excuse the fact that it was hardcore under the bus throwing. It just makes me more comfortable to have Devon in the game since that's who he is likely voting this round, which will arm myself with more ammunition for incoming rounds.

Speaking of which, Patrick was spreading that Brian and I are a duo and people believed him which was another reason why I had to snatch him. And another thing, Dovile thinks she and Nicole are running the tribe and I'm not entirely here for that tbh? Like I want her to believe that but I want Nicole in my pocket and not hers... Worm. Let's see what this round has in store for us !