Worse Movies

## Starring

* Ernie
* Farina
* Jackie
* Joe
* Mary
* Mickey
* Pineapple
* Mango
* Powder-Puff

## Story

In an attempt to capitalize on the increasing popularity of the Tarzan stories first published a decade earlier, the gang decides to make a feature-length film called "Tarzan's Treasured Tigers" based on those stories. Mickey is cast as Tarzan, Mary as Jane, Jackie as Boy, and the monkey that would be in One Insane Ride as Cheeta. The native African tribe that worshiped tigers consists of Ernie, Farina, Pineapple, Powder-Puff, and Mango. Joe is the leader of many less prominent characters, on a big game hunting expedition intent on bagging some of these rare tigers.

Tarzan and Jane decide Boy's hair needs to be cut for the first time. Terrified of the knife about to be used and preferring his natural hair style, we see Jackie jump onto the vine by their treehouse, swing on that and several more vines, and finally drop to the ground. Unfortunately he lands in a pool of quicksand, and there is a long sequence showing him struggling and gradually sinking until he is in a little past his waist, realistically stopping when his body displaces an amount of quicksand equal to his weight. Tarzan, Jane, and Cheeta search for Boy in different directions. Meanwhile, Joe's band tracks tiger droppings to the native village. When Chief Ernie doesn't tell Joe where the tigers can be found, there is a fight which sends the natives scattering. Joe's group continues in the direction they were going.

Cheeta finds Jackie, and is about to go back to Tarzan for help when he sees Farina, whose hair is in the style from No Silence or Stage Scared and kind of resembles Jackie's. Since Farina is close, Cheeta tries to direct him to help, but winds up scaring Farina into running into the quicksand. An identical long sequence shows Farina struggling and sinking, with the same result as Jackie. They wind up about five yards apart, but totally stuck.

Mary comes across the native village after they regroup, but they mistake her for a member of Joe's expedition, grab her perhaps thinking she is part of Joe's expedition, and prepare a large pot of boiling water. She screams, and Mickey, who had started out in the wrong direction, hears her and swings into action after making his customary yell. Cheeta finds Mickey, and directs him to the stuck boys, but when Mickey sees they're not hurt, he leaves them there to teach them a lesson. He then sneaks up to the village, and quick as lightning knocks Ernie, Pineapple, and Powder-Puff out and ties them to trees. Mary isn't sure what happened, but when the natives wake up they explain about the tiger hunt, and that they were only inviting Mary for dinner, not to be dinner. Mickey isn't sure, so he leaves them tied up, and tells Mary to take care of Mango, who is too little to understand any of what's going on.

After a couple hours, our hero catches up to Joe's expedition. The group is so clueless they let Mickey knock them out one by one, and break all their rifles. When he finally gets to the leader, he threatens Joe, who is scared into promising to stop hunting and never set foot in Africa again. Mickey then calls a herd of elephants to carry Joe and his group away to the shore. The elephants are highly intelligent and make sure the hunting party leaves and disappears over the horizon.

With film running low, Mickey hurries back to the quicksand where, with the aid of special effects that make it look easier than it really is, pulls Jackie and Farina out. Since they seem to be friends now, Tarzan Mickey is kind to the natives, cuts them loose, and takes them up on their offer for dinner before going home. When Mary asks Jackie does he realize how much trouble he's caused by not wanting his hair cut, he replies that if he hadn't run away, the hunters would have gotten the tigers. Therefore Mickey and Mary let Jackie keep his long hair.

At the screening after the film was completed, it is pointed out that while the alliteration of the title sounds nice, Africa is the wrong continent for tigers. It is confusing whether the natives are good or bad, and that the whole thing doesn't make sense.

Behind the scenes rumors that cannot be verified:

At the time Joe was shorter than Jackie, but Jackie got the part of Boy because he looked better in a loincloth.

Due to lack of good planning, the filming was done in strict chronological order. It was too much trouble pulling Jackie and Farina out of the quicksand every time there was a brief scene showing them, so for twenty shooting days they were left in the quicksand for eight hours at a time. Food and water were tossed to them throughout the days.

Powder-Puff was so embarrassed at this film, having spent several days looking pathetic tied to a tree in a tiger-stripe loincloth, that he requested his real name be removed from all records of Fractured Rascals activity after receiving his final paycheck in cash.

## Notes

* Spoof of: Better Movies
* Previous Film: The Love Bughouse
* Next Film: Monkey Businessmen