Darryl Wilson

This page contains possibly major spoilers for the events of the podcast. Scroll at your own risk.

## Darryl Wilson

Darryl Wilson portrayed in the Season 1 cover art by Alex Moore.

### Relatives

Robert Wilson (grandfather)
Frank Wilson (father)
Casey Wilson (sister)
Carol Wilson (wife)
Grant Wilson (son)
Lincoln Li-Wilson (adoptive grandson)

### Affiliation

The Doodlers
Henry Oak-Garcia
Ron Stampler
Glenn Close

## Character Information

### Class

Barbarian (Path of the Ancestral Guardian)

## Appearances

### Debut

Season 1 Episode 1 "A Man and His Handshake"

Darryl is a stay-at-home coach dad who finally came  into his own as  a barbarian when he entered the Forgotten Realms. He is Grant Wilson’s father and the husband of Carol Wilson.

He is sucked through a portal together with Henry Oak, Glenn Close and Ron Stampler, and together they try find their lost sons.

## Personality

Darryl is very straightforward and trusting.

## Appearance

Darryl wears a cap and occasionally sunglasses.

## History

### Initial Landing Arc

Darryl is introduced driving a Honda Odyssey Minivan and trying to make discussion with his son Grant. They are heading to a Westrock Elementary soccer tournament. On the way Darryl picks up Glenn, Henry and Ron and their sons who are also taking part in the tournament. They pick up the other dads and are heading towards the tournament when their car is pulled into a purple portal and pulled into Faerûn.

As they wake up, Darryl calls for a roll call. Then upon finding that the kids are missing, he secretly grabs a Charlestown Chew. Glenn calls AAA and 911, and shortly after the dads are attacked by three people in red cloaks. Darryl fights in a rage with a toolbox hatchet. Eventually the redcloaks are defeated, with the only captured survivor introducing himself as Three. Three tells the dads that The Lance sold their children to slavery, but will have a log stating their location. Three agrees to take the dads to The Lance’s house in Phandalin.

The dads plan to trade Three for sons' location. Glenn holds three at knifepoint while Darryl takes out his hatchet, but The Lance shoots Three with a crossbow. The dads discuss other strategies and Henry excitedly suggests pretending to be a warparty or pretending to be emissaries from the Kingdom of Westrock, and having Glenn tell their story as a Wonderwall-cover. At the end Glenn starts playing Wonderwall and telling The Lance that they are emissaries from the Kingdom of Westrock. Darryl immediately interrupts him, saying they were supposed to be warriors. Henry interrupts Darryl by silencing him with a kiss.

The Lance is unimpressed by this, so offer him Darryl’s Nokia with the Snake-game. The Lance doesn't care for the game, but as Ron mentions the loss of his dog who got bitten by a snake, The Lance seems to relent. Darryl attempts to persuade The Lance by showing him a picture of himself and Grant getting a puppy. However, as he mentions that Grant lost the puppy, The Lance grows furious. He starts insulting Grant. Henry chimes in that they are trying to punish Grant, which is why they want to find him and then calms Darryl down with another kiss. Darryl collects himself and makes a blood pact that binds the dads to eating Grant's skin when they meet him. The Lance shows Darryl Grant’s location. Then, as Darryl is speaking to The Lance, Darryl kisses Lance as a distraction and Henry successfully steals the page which lists their sons locations.

The dads leave The Lance’s house with the list, and consider their options. Darryl has to eat Grant's skin, Glenn thinks Nick'll be fine and Ron believes Terry Jr. is better off without him, so they decide to head to Lark and Sparrow who are in Neverwinter.
Henry knocks Glenn out with a dad joke and the dads decide to sleep at the Wispy Woods Inn to recover.

There is the sound of yelling and kicking near the inn and Henry and Darryl go investigate. They come to find a group of people beating a small fairy dragon with bracelets called. Henry argues they should lead by good example and stop the mob. Darryl greets the dragon and picks it up. It introduces itself as Gartok and tells the dads he is trying to find his lost children. Darryl and Henry offer to help him and invite him along.
> **Henry:** [yelling] *Ron, this is Gartok. He’s gonna come with us on our journey.*
>
>
> **Gartok:** *I’m Gartok.*
>
>
> **Ron:** *Okay, hey Gartok.*
>
>
>
> **Glenn:** [Only just waking up] *What the fuck is that!?*
>
>

They head to the Inn. To get a room Ron pretends to be a brewer Sweet Matilda and with Darryl's help manages to convince her to buy their beer. Eventually they agree on 15 barrels for 8 silver a barrel, with 3 in advance and a room for the night.

The dads share a dream of a figure in a purple cloak, saying something in a booming voice, pointing at the, but they cannot remember what it said upon waking up.

They escape the in through the window and head back to the van and start driving towards Neverwinter. Darryl offers Gartok some of his beer and Charleston Chews, looking at Gartok fondly as he works through them. Eventually they find Gartok's children's hideout. Gartok mentions he cannot go inside and he cannot explain, which causes one of Gartok's bracelets to fire up. Ron decides to try and take a bracelet off. This results in the death of one of Gartok's children. Gartok then tries to kill Ron.

The dads leave Gartok in the car and head towards the hideout. Darryl pulls Henry aside, and gives Henry his Charleston Chews and tells Henry to give him one whenever he does something his dad would be proud of. Inside they find the two remaining dragon children, weeping at the death of their brother. The dragon children reveal that Gartok has been keeping them enslaved, though this is normal for dragons. They encountered a man in a purple cloak, who allowed them to pull out of a Deck of Many Things and have Gartok put the bracelets on himself instead of them.

The dads come to agree that they should stop Gartok, and decide that they will put the bracelets back on Gartok but make them say other things that will force him to be a good dad. They argue about what makes a good dad and what they want to do for their children. Henry brings up values like love and honesty, Darryl brings up the Golden Rule, Glenn brings up allowing your kids to make their own mistakes and Ron brings up wanting Terry Jr. to never have to feel like Ron did at his age. They agree on "Treat your kids like you’d wanna be treated and let your kids make their own decisions, within a certain boundary, until they're dragon adult age and do not buy store brand for toilet paper or mac and cheese.

They are interrupted by a time traveling Darryl from the future. The present Darryl doesn't like time travel and refuses to acknowledge the uture Darryl who tells them to change the bracelets to say "Treat your kids in the same way you would want to be treated. But if you don't like yourself and you would actually treat yourself badly, that doesn't mean you can hurt your kids or hurt anybody they love, and that the bracelets cannot be removed by anybody other than these four dads." He also tells them to remove the, "Within a certain boundary" thing. Then he runs off.

They put the bracelets on Gartok and take Gartok to the children. Henry blurts out that they killed the dragons' sibling, but Gartok interrupts him, saying that it is his fault for treating his children like commodities.

The dads continue their journey and leave the dragons behind and head to Neverwinter.

### Neverwinter Arc

The dads arrive outside Neverwinter and see a picture of the Doodler across the former banner of the city. Glenn suggests they intimidate the guards by honking the horn and dress up in leftover soccer jerseys to convince the guards that they are the emissaries of the Doodler. Darryl manages to make the shirt look remarkably good, and feels happy about himself for the first time in a good while. They successfully enter Neverwinter and take a short rest.

They wake up surrounded by guards. The guards mention the two previous emissaries disappeared, seemingly turning into The Lord of Chaos. The guard directs the group to The Lord of Chaos, who is at Ankara the Entertaining's Pit of Myriad Delights.

On the way, Darryl tries to sneak two Charleston Chews. The first attempt is successful, but he gets caught on the second attempt. Henry gives the Charleston Chews to the Bleeding Elf as a punishment.

The Pit of Myriad Delights has two pits, one for an orgies and another for fighting monsters.

Sheriff David Boreanaz arrives to interrogate the group. He reveals the Doodler resembles an eldritch god worshipped by a cult he's a part of, and that the prophecy states that when the Lord of Chaos sheds the blood of an unsung hero, the Doodler will be released and remake the world into a better one.

Darryl is entranced by the sex pit and heads towards it, leading to Henry accidentally rip Darryl’s shirt off. Darryl pushes Henry into the sex pit, mortified. In the sex pit, Henry declines advances and leaves.

Sheriff Boreanaz isn’t particularly impressed, but suggests proving worthiness in the fighting pit, which may draw the eye of the Lord of Chaos, who in turn may know where Lark and Sparrow are. The group prepares for combat and Henry suggests getting naked to invoke chaos. Darryl, Glenn, and Henry strip down Ron is wearing several layers of clothing underneath, and only takes off the topmost one.

Lark and Sparrow drop their cloak and are revealed to be the Lord of Chaos. Lark requests guards to move the dads to the dungeon to avoid their Henry's anger. Henry, Darryl and Ron get knocked unconscious. Glenn surrenders and remains conscious, and so sees the group be taken to a tower with an elevator. The twins take elevator up, guards take dads down to prison, still naked.

Ron discovers a discolored brick in his cell with runes sayin “I’m Hungry.” Ron responds, “Hi Hungry, I’m dad.”, and frees all dads with the exception of Henry, though Darryl believes he freed them. Darryl chases Lark and Sparrow after being freed, Glenn fights a guard, Ron hides in his pants. Glenn helps a shapeshifting murderer called Everything escape her cell. Darryl tells a lizard man to run and he will spare him, planning to take an attack of opportunity. But he misses, so the lizard man is free to go.

Darryl pretends to be the "Dad of Chaos," and threatens to crush Lark’s head, which intimidates guards to release Henry. Lark and Sparrow agree to start the ceremony separately. Sparrow heads to the elevator to summon The Doodler without Lark. Henry chases after Sparrow.

In the prison the remaining dads work on gathering their strength for escape. They stuff Lark in a cell for the time being. Darryl frees a man-sized snake in a cell through an attempted handshake. Everything joins them in their escape attempt and guides them to the armory, where they retrieve their weapons. Glenn also picks up a nunchaku. Each dad gets an item, Darryl gets Perfume of Bewitching, Ron gets Hat of Vermin, Glenn gets Alchemy Jug. In addition Darryl gets a bag of magic beans that Everything warns are unpredictable. They then proceed upwards towards Henry and Sparrow.

Sheriff Boreanaz commands soldiers to attack Henry and Sparrow. Henry bites Boreanaz and Sparrow follows suit. Sparrow is hit and falls unconscious. Henry attempts to escape with the elevator but is pursued by Boreanaz and several guards. When the other dads reach them, Darryl drops the Bag of Beans down the elevator shaft, and four beans spill out creating eggs, a geysir of apple juice, pink toads, and a 60x60ft pyramid which begins to crush the tower under its weight. Ron and Darryl start to fall. Ron pulls out sticky frogs out of the hat of vermin and manages to climb down safely. Glenn saves Darryl by reaching out with his nunchaku.

The tower is reduced to rubble. The dads realize that since Lark was underground in the prison he must be under the rubble. With the help of the people from the orgy pit Lark is rescued. The town starts to erupt into chaos the group rushes to the Honda Odyssey. Ron grabs one of the five eggs along the way. The lizard man, Cern, whom Darryl accidentally spared joins the group in the van telling Darryl he owes Darryl a Wookie Life Debt.

Sparrow’s eyes suddenly glow with purple and he is taken over by an ominous voice, calling Henry unworthy as a father. As Lark and Sparrow fade out of existence, Sparrow asks if he did good.

## Relationships

### Henry Oak

>
> **Matt:** *Something tingles deep down inside of me, and I feel love for the first time in a long time, when he puts his mouth on mine.*
>
>

## Dad Facts

* Ep1: Would be the head coach of the Westrock Elementary Doodlers if not for “some jerk named Darnell.”
* Ep2: Believes he misses his wife more than she misses him.
* Ep3: His favorite TV show used to be Bones, but became The Finder because he thought it was a little more macho.
* Ep4: The only woman he’s kissed besides his best friend Carol was her older sister Stacy.
* Ep5: Caught his father as Santa Claus when he was 8. Continued to believe his father was Santa for three more years.
* Ep6: Does not know what a Birkenstock is.
* Ep7: His older sister Casey owns a massively successful brewery in North Carolina.
* Ep8: His favorite holiday is Tax Day. He does his taxes month in advance, but on Tax Day he gets to fuck his wife.
* Ep9: Sneaks out to watch English soccer with the Chelsea boys every day.
* Ep10: Was in the background of one of the photos on the DILFS of Disneyland account.
* Ep11: Had The Talk with Grant when he caught him watching the Top Gun sex scene. (Additionally, has the Tavern Brawler feat)
* Ep12: His favorite hobby is sports. His second-favorite hobby is organization.
* Ep13: After the DILF incident, he joined crossfit on Wednesday nights. Due to a bad first experience, he now does square dancing classes, while still paying for crossfit.
* Ep14: His favorite color is leather brown.
* Ep15: Darryl’s favorite book is the Guinness Book of World Records, tied with Hop on Pop by Dr. Seuss.
* Ep16: His favorite part of being a father is when babies wake up confused until they see you and smile. This is also Matt’s favorite part of being a father.
* Ep17: Darryl once made a Reddit post on Grant’s account asking how to play Fortnite. He never learned how to play, and now gets cyberbullied via email by 12 year olds.
* Ep18: He still uses his dad’s PK grill.
* Ep19: His favorite board game is Scrabble.
* Ep20: Darryl once scared Grant by waking him up as bloody Santa on Halloween, leading him to have to explain that Santa wasn’t real.
* Ep21: Darryl puts inspection checklists on the mirrors in every bathroom, and writes “Cleaned by Dad” across all of them.
* Ep22: 50% of the furniture in the house is built by Darryl (note: this only counts if you count things like the spice rack and cutting boards and such)
* Ep23: When Darryl is cooking the thanksgiving turkey, he gives it a name and proceeds to say it's helping him in the kitchen, until he makes Grant bring the turkey out and goes “no what have you done!” as a joke. Nobody laughs.
* Ep24: Darryl makes everyone in his family do new year's resolutions every year. He also always picks the same resolution every year: literally surprise them in one way every morning. He tries, and they hate it.
* Ep25: Darryl and Grant love rollercoasters. The first time Grant went on one with Darryl, he had a weak stomach and threw up and Darryl pretended to throw up too. This is now a regular thing for Darryl to pretend he is also sick.
* Ep26: Carol loves sci-fi and made Darryl watch primer with her. When asked what his favorite part was he quickly ran to the bathroom to look up the synopsis he fell asleep and Grant found him naked on the toilet.
* Ep27: Sunday 9pm is his and Carol’s sex time and on the calendar it’s called “financing.”
* Ep28: Darryl has broken his arm twice on his left and once on his right. Each was on a jungle gym across from the football field at ages 9, 20, and 36.
* Ep29: Darryl’s favorite soda is his Sodastream version of Coca Cola, which is actually just Coca-cola he pours into the Sodastream bottle.
* Ep30: Darryl’s favorite breakfast is Frank’n’Eggs, which was his dad’s favorite. It is just a hotdog cut into eggs.
* Ep31: Darryl’s favorite ice cream is Rock Road.
* Ep32:Darryl was a straight “C” student his whole life.
* Ep33: Darryl does a lot of grooming/manscaping down there.
* Ep34:Grant’s nickname is Shooter, because the first time Darryl changed Grant’s diaper without Carol, Grant shot shit across the entire room.
* Ep35:One problem Darryl has with soccer is there are no good soccer movies.
* Ep36: Darryl’s favorite Sesame Street character is Cookie Monster. (Grant’s is Grover)
* Ep37: Darryl LOVES fireworks, specifically bootleg fireworks. He does his own fireworks show on the fourth of july.
* Ep38: Darryl takes pleasure in making sure his shoes last as long as possible. And in fucking his wife.
* Ep39: Darryl doesn’t know much about BDSM, but he knows a lot about BRAT, which is the rule when you have an upset tummy you eat bananas, rice, apples, and toast. His favorite BRAT food is toast.
* Ep40: The last beer Darryl made before he went to the forgotten realms was a barley wine called Access, with a picture of Grant. So it's Access Granted, and he’s gonna age it for 10 years so Grant can have it when he’s 21.
* Ep41: Darryl’s first time going to Disneyland was right after he and Carol graduated college. They got the whole package and stayed at Paradise Pier, and his favorite ride was Pirates of the caribbean. It was also the first him and Carol fucked.
* Ep42: Darryl is allergic to latex.
* Ep43: Darry;’s favorite sound is the sound a bag of chips makes when you open it.
* Ep44: Darryls favorite smell was the smell of Grant's hair when he was a toddler. His least favorite smell is wet peanut butter.
* Ep45: Darryl’s favorite touch is the feeling of pulling up the perfect pair of jeans. His least favorite touch is the feeling of a knife through a well done steak.
* Ep46: Darryl’s favorite taste is the taste of his sister's beer. His least favorite taste is defeat.
* Ep47: Darryl’s favorite sight is seeing Carol smile when she eats something good that Darryl makes. His least favorite sight is Glenn moisturizing his hands.
* Ep48: Darryls favorite vestibular sense is the feeling that The Beast gives him when it accelerates. His least favorite is getting dizzy. The teacups are his least favorite at disneyland. His favorite proprioceptive sense is knowing where the cup holders are in the odyssey. His least favorite is he cant type without looking. Darryl calls, not texts.
* Ep49: Darryl and Carol’s favorite game is who can hotbox/dutch oven each other the most.
* Ep50: Darryl got pulled over once for switching lanes without putting on his blinker. He also didn’t have his seatbelt on cause he forgot it trying to help Grant with his homework, and when the officer came up to the car he noticed and called Darryl on it. Darryl lied to him and then felt bad and drove to the police station and asked for a ticket or some kind of punishment.
* Ep51: Darryl has his own version of bathing/showering, which he calls a “Tropical Waterfall”. This means he fills up the bathtub a little, sits in it and turns on the shower, and then when you let the drain go the water equalizes.
* Ep52: Matt fact: Dorothy (his daughter) turned off her light in her crib and said “i love you Dada” and went to bed for the first time in her crib and it made his day.
* Ep53: Darryl brought the Chelsea boys Chelsea buns once, but it took a couple batches for him to get the recipe right. When he finally came back from the bar all the practice batches were gone; Carol had taken them to work for her turn to bring breakfast in. So now Darryl makes Chelsea buns for Carol every second Monday of the month because they were a big hit. Matt also retcons and says in the last episode his fact was when Grant wakes up he grabs a book from his shelf and starts reading it.
* Ep54: Darryl organizes his chores into three categories: Bores, Snores, and Scores. Snores he can do while sleeping, like the ones he saves for the end of the day when he’s tired. The bores are the ones he does not want to do. The scores are the little rewards to himself, mowing the lawn etc.
* Ep55: Dae-rule is a big fan of Goat-ball but his son, Grant, likes Stubborn-root instead.
* Ep56: (via Beth) One time, Darryl farted in a church. And then he laughed and talked about it.
* Ep57: (via freddie) Darryl loves the films of Roland Emmerich. His favorite is 2012 because it's about a guy driving a limousine saving his family. And he secretly thinks that the Statue of Liberty play should be renamed The Independence Day play because it's humanity's one last shot to take down the UFO.
* Ep58: Darryl is very bad at math because his catholic high school math teacher wouldn’t teach class. He would just play Stargate which is how Darryl became a Roland Emmerich fan. Now, if Grant ever wants to miss school and he and Darryl go see a movie instead, they call it “math class” in front of Carol.
* Ep59: Darryl and Grant are six time consecutive winners of the San Dimas Pinewood Derby. Despite Grant not being there the past three years.
* Ep60: After Frank died Darryl couldn’t pick up the phone from his mother for about 10 years because his mom’s the one that called him to tell him his dad died.
* Ep61: Seven Deadly Sins- Gluttony: The most calories Darryl has ever eaten was Grant’s first day of middle school. He ate an entire box of charleston chews because Grant didn’t say “I love you “ back cause he was embarrassed.
* Ep62: Seven Deadly Sins- Wrath: After Darryl had a particularly frustrating morning, Grant missed the bus and heard Darryl ranting and called Grant a turd bucket.
* Ep63: Seven Deadly Sins-Greed: He eats all the best chips in nachos.
* Ep64: Seven Deadly Sins-Sloth: Darryl has never responded to an email. Sloth only affects him with technological things.
* Ep65: Seven Deadly Sins- Lust: No, Darryl did not cheat on Carol with Sweet Matilda…but he did think about it.
* Ep66: Seven Deadly Sins - Envy: He’s pretty envious of everything Darnell. Specifically, when they were grocery shopping at the same time and while putting the bags in their respective cars, Darryl got INCREDIBLY jealous of how well bagged Darnell’s groceries - which he bagged himself - were.
* Ep67: Darryls favorite thing about Glenn is when he put his son’s happiness before his own and went to prison. He also really respected Glenn, despite not liking or admiring him as a person.
* Ep68: Seven Deadly Sins - Pride: Darryl’s biggest moment of pride was back in episode one, in which he thought he was a much better father than the rest of the dads.

## Trivia

* Darryl has an addiction to Charleston Chews.
* Darryl is at least somewhat conservative.
* Darryl is Christian and likely Catholic.
* Darryl gave Grant his smartphone and uses a Nokia 3310.