Miss Desirée

* Phone Fling
* Official

Miss Desirée was the Senior Department Head at S.T.F. University before getting fired. She contacts you about Peanut, who used you as a personal reference. You receive your first text from Miss Desirée after Peanut has sent you her third photo.

## Personality

She takes her job seriously, but she isn't so weighed down as to miss the lighter things in life.

## Trivia

* Miss Desirée's last roommate was a ghost, that's when you mentioned a "Ghost" - which you refer to Generica besides Alpha (Songaloid) and Pamu (Trickster).
* Miss Desirée seems to also teach English, as her third photo presumably shows her writing about *To Kill a Mockingbird*, a classic American novel by Harper Lee.
* The response “Miss Desirée, I think you may be trying to seduce me.” is a reference to the movie *The Graduate*, where the main character says nearly the same thing when seduced by an older woman.
* She is a physicist.
* Miss Desirée was the first Phone Fling whose messages depend on your responses.
	+ Some of the Phone Flings before hers have been retconned to also have this feature.

## Messages

### Moist version

The NSFW conversation diverges from the SFW conversation at your response before Miss Desirée sends her 2nd photo (24/26).

## Dialogue List

### First Meeting

1. You're sitting in the front row of Miss Desirée's Advanced Physics class when, partway through the lesson, you spot something glinting in the light.
2. Whatever it is, it's landed on Miss Desirée's perfect head. You raise your hand to let her know... Only for you both to realize what you saw was her first gray hair!
3. Self esteem -- CRUSHED!
4. Mortified, Miss Desirée dismisses her students almost an hour early. You should probably stay after class and find some way to make her feel better...

#### Sorry

* Why couldn't you have just raised your hand to ask a tedious question already answered in the course syllabus, like everyone else?
* Of course it's a law of the universe that all matter succumbs to entropy and decay over time, but why does it have to show on my face?
* What will become of my chili pepper rating on GradeMyProfessor dot com now?
* I'm not vain! It's the visual reminder of my mortality I take umbrage with.

#### Gift

* This is going right where I put all my "World's Best Teacher" mugs... In a box labeled "Thrift Store Donations".

#### Poke

* If you want to get my attention I would much rather you raise your hand, or make an appointment to meet with me during my scheduled office hours.

#### Upgrade to Nuisance

1. I am too young to be going gray already! This is all down to that no-good sleazy clod "Dean" Hoff and the unnecessary stress he put me through!
2. Ipso facto... If stress is what's causing me to age prematurely, and my aging prematurely is causing me to feel more stressed... Oh no!

### Nuisance

* Yes? What is it? Do you have a question? Preferably about the course material, this time?

#### Sorry

* Why couldn't you have just raised your hand to ask a tedious question already answered in the course syllabus, like everyone else?
* Some days there simply just isn't enough coffee in the teacher's lounge...
* Let's just stick to the course material until my ego has had time to recover.
* I can still be the young, fun professor, can't I? Gray hair is no impediment to me moving class outside, for example!
* The old wives tale asserts that if I pluck this gray hair, then two more will sprout in its place. Luckily for me, old wives tales have no basis in actual science!

#### Gift

* This is going right where I put all my "World's Best Teacher" mugs... In a box labeled "Thrift Store Donations".

#### Upgrade to Frenemy

1. I still have half a mind to keep you after class, you cheeky little confection!
2. "You wouldn't consider that a punishment?" We'll see about that!

### Frenemy

* I can't believe your attention wandered like that during my very stimulating lecture! I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.

#### Sorry

* Some days there simply just isn't enough coffee in the teacher's lounge...
* I can still be the young, fun professor, can't I? Gray hair is no impediment to me moving class outside, for example!
* Maybe an early retirement with my stacks of settlement money isn't such a bad idea after all...
* According to the principles of time dilation, if only I were moving at a sufficient speed, then my rate of aging, relatively speaking, would decrease. Of course, the velocity required to produce a noticeable effect is well beyond our current technology. Also, I might get motion sickness.
* That's QUARKS, not quacks! I teach physics, not while away my days by an idyllic little pond at the park. Although that does sound nice, now that I think of it...
* Albert Einstein's gray hair never seemed to negatively impact his viability as a romantic or sexual partner for his numerous and varied paramours.
* You're very sweet, but I don't give out grades for effort.

#### Gift

* Oh. Is this the sort of thing one usually gifts to their young, sexy professors? Because I swear I've seen something like this in a retirement-aged colleague's office...

#### Upgrade to Acquaintance

1. \*Sigh\* Having taken the time to set my feelings aside and assess this situation more analytically, it seems unfair of me to hold you responsible for a natural process which you merely observed...
2. And further to that conclusion... So what? So what if I'm showing outward signs of aging? My sexual vibrancy is not limited by the melanin deposits in my hair, and as a scientist, I'll prove it!

### Acquaintance

* It's traditional to make an offering of an apple when greeting one's teacher, but in my case a coffee with a generous splash of Irish Cream wouldn't go amiss.

#### Talk

* According to the principles of time dilation, if only I were moving at a sufficient speed, then my rate of aging, relatively speaking, would decrease. Of course, the velocity required to produce a noticeable effect is well beyond our current technology. Also, I might get motion sickness.
* That's QUARKS, not quacks! I teach physics, not while away my days by an idyllic little pond at the park. Although that does sound nice, now that I think of it...
* Albert Einstein's gray hair never seemed to negatively impact his viability as a romantic or sexual partner for his numerous and varied paramours.
* You're very sweet, but I don't give out grades for effort.
* Next will be frown lines, most likely, but I earned those by staring with my brow furrowed at complex mathematical equations. On me they'll have to start referring to them as 'genius lines'!
* Students are always asking me how they can improve their grade. You're the first to ask how to improve my day!

#### Gift

* Oh. Is this the sort of thing one usually gifts to their young, sexy professors? Because I swear I've seen something like this in a retirement-aged colleague's office...

#### Poke

* Excuse me! No horseplay in the lab!
* Test the theory if you must, but I can tell you, yes, serious scientists do giggle! Hehehe! See?

#### Upgrade to Friendzone

1. You were a good student. Other than that one -- ahem -- notable exception, you weren't disruptive in class. And you didn't fall asleep even once!
2. So I suppose what I'm saying is... You're welcome to sit in on my classes again if you like. I won't even charge you tuition.

### Friendzone

* Of course you can carry my books! I should warn you, though: the average physics text has a noticeable force of gravitational attraction with the Earth... That is to say, they're heavy AF!

#### Talk

* The latest issue of my subscription to Communications in Mathematical Physics should be waiting for me when I arrive home today! I wonder who's on the cover this week? Oooh, I can hardly wait to find out!
* A train is traveling a hundred kilometers an hour. But riding that train is a common housefly, who is currently buzzing his way from the caboose to the engine at the eight kilometer per hour speed typical of his species. How fast is he really flying?
* There are days I want to debate the limitations of time travel within the framework of Einstein's theory of special relativity, and then there are days I want to watch a sexy tv show about going back in time and falling in love with a shirtless warrior. Sometimes they are the same day.
* A defining feature of any woman we culturally deem to be "a bombshell" is her platinum blonde hair, correct? But in all actuality, platinum is closer to silver than gold in hue! Ergo, I'm still a bombshell. And I have the body, too, not that that was ever in doubt.
* Would you believe it? One time someone tried to pick me up by saying they were a scientist too. When I asked what discipline, they told me Mixology! So I got them to make me a drink before I turned them down. Not a bad martini, actually.
* Don't get me wrong, compliments on my brilliance are always welcome, but there are times that compliments on my brilliant bod are even better. This is one of those times, by the way.

#### Gift

* Oh! Why this is lovely, but it's too much, really! I couldn't possibly accept. Well, if you insist...

#### Poke

* Excuse me! No horseplay in the lab!
* Test the theory if you must, but I can tell you, yes, serious scientists do giggle! Hehehe! See?

#### Upgrade to Awkward Besties

1. Flip that tassel on your proverbial cap, because you've graduated to the friend zone!
2. That means you're invited to campus pub nights, but not the more... Intimate social occasions I host in my private residence. At least, not yet...

### Awkward Besties

* Just the person I wanted to see! I wanted to bounce some ideas for my next lecture off of you... Although now that I'm looking at you, I have a different kind of bouncing in mind...

#### Flirt

* The latest issue of my subscription to Communications in Mathematical Physics should be waiting for me when I arrive home today! I wonder who's on the cover this week? Oooh, I can hardly wait to find out!
* There are days I want to debate the limitations of time travel within the framework of Einstein's theory of special relativity, and then there are days I want to watch a sexy tv show about going back in time and falling in love with a shirtless warrior. Sometimes they are the same day.
* Don't get me wrong, compliments on my brilliance are always welcome, but there are times that compliments on my brilliant bod are even better. This is one of those times, by the way.
* You don't think Marie Curie is prettier than me, do you?
* People are always asking me whether I'm a white wine or red wine kind of woman. What a question! Can't therebe a unifying theory of fermented grape drinking?
* I'd love to hear your thoughts on string theory versus loop quantum gravity. Alternately, you can describe, in detail, all the things you'd like to do to my body. The choice is yours!
* If there is such thing as an infinite multiverse, then it stands to reason that in at least one alternate reality, you and I are... More than friends? I mean, hypothetically!

#### Gift

* Oh! Why this is lovely, but it's too much, really! I couldn't possibly accept. Well, if you insist...

#### Poke

* Test the theory if you must, but I can tell you, yes, serious scientists do giggle! Hehehe! See?
* You're getting awfully bold, aren't you? I didn't say I didn't like it!

#### Upgrade to Crush

1. I've always loved to curl up with a good glass of wine and a thousand page book of cutting edge theoretical physics...
2. But lately I've been burning for someone to share it with. Could it be... You?

### Crush

* Oh dear! Why is it that every time I see you I wind up so tongue tied I worry I won't recover in time to teach my next class!

#### Flirt

* The new dean gifted me a bottle of top shelf, very expensive scotch. And I can't think of anyone I'd rather share it with than you.
* Feel free to compliment me whenever you feel like it. The old guard establishment may be loathe to admit it, but flattery will get you everywhere in academia. And with me, specifically.
* It's not fair. I tried to picture my lecture hall naked in order to calm my nerves, but all I could think about was you! That didn't calm me down at all!
* You make me think there might be more to life than what can be quantifiably observed in reproducible laboratory conditions.
* Diamonds have myriad practical uses in the field of science but I've never heard of using them the way you do!
* An intelligent woman is one who knows her own mind. Knows what she wants. And what I want... Is you.

#### Gift

* Squee! This is so cute! Ahem. I mean... My regards for this thoughtful token of your affection.

#### Poke

* Test the theory if you must, but I can tell you, yes, serious scientists do giggle! Hehehe! See?
* You're getting awfully bold, aren't you? I didn't say I didn't like it!

#### Upgrade to Sweetheart

1. Did you accidentally magnetize yourself in the lab?
2. Because I'm suddenly finding myself rather attracted to you!

### Sweetheart

* You... Me... A picnic lunch behind the bleachers... What do you say?

#### Flirt

* The new dean gifted me a bottle of top shelf, very expensive scotch. And I can't think of anyone I'd rather share it with than you.
* Feel free to compliment me whenever you feel like it. The old guard establishment may be loathe to admit it, but flattery will get you everywhere in academia. And with me, specifically.
* An intelligent woman is one who knows her own mind. Knows what she wants. And what I want... Is you.
* Would you still love me if I was a tardigrade?
* I was so laser focused on becoming a tenured professor before thirty that all I did was work, work, work! Even once I achieved my goal, I found it hard to switch off. It was like the part of me that was fun-loving and spontaneous had atrophied from disuse. Then I texted you and that all changed. You helped me be me again, gray hair or not. Thank you.
* I need a day off. Do wayward students still pull the fire alarm unnecessarily? Would you like to?

#### Gift

* Squee! This is so cute! Ahem. I mean... My regards for this thoughtful token of your affection.

#### Poke

* You're getting awfully bold, aren't you? I didn't say I didn't like it!
* Heehee! Careful now! Too much squirming and I might pop a garter!

#### Upgrade to Girlfriend

1. I may be a tenured professor, but looking at you makes me feel like a giddy schoolgirl again!
2. My cheeks flush, my heart beats in my ears, I feel the sensation colloquially referred to as "butterflies" in my stomach...

### Girlfriend

* My mind's been working overtime today. No, not untangling string theory. Coming up with excuses to see you!

#### Flirt

* Would you still love me if I was a tardigrade?
* I was so laser focused on becoming a tenured professor before thirty that all I did was work, work, work! Even once I achieved my goal, I found it hard to switch off. It was like the part of me that was fun-loving and spontaneous had atrophied from disuse. Then I texted you and that all changed. You helped me be me again, gray hair or not. Thank you.
* I need a day off. Do wayward students still pull the fire alarm unnecessarily? Would you like to?
* I wouldn't mind if you fell into my 'gravity well', if you know what I mean...
* In physics, there are certain fundamental physical constants that define our universe: the speed of light in a vacuum, Newton's gravitational constant, the mass of particles... But I'd propose one more: the rate of growth in my affection for you! We could call it the Marshmallow Constant!

#### Gift

* Oh! Oh my. Thank you. Did I get caught up in my research and forget another special occasion, again?

#### Poke

* You're getting awfully bold, aren't you? I didn't say I didn't like it!
* Heehee! Careful now! Too much squirming and I might pop a garter!

#### Upgrade to Lover

1. I think it's long past time we make this thing between us official.
2. So I want you on my arm as my permanent plus one at academic functions from now on. Deal?

### Lover

* When I'm with you, I feel vibrant and attractive and on the cusp of a bright future. Just as I am.
* I cancelled my classes today. Did I not mention that when I invited you to come visit? Oops! Oh well, since you're already here and we have the whole classroom to ourselves... Why not take advantage?
* I've been conceptualizing some "hands on" experiments that will illustrate the scientific concepts of velocity and force of impact. Care to be my assistant?
* I've got two bottles of wine and a stack of marking to do. All I need now is someone to lovingly massage me while I work. Wink, wink.
* Oh excellent, you're here. I've just had a stroke of brilliance: let's play hooky and go make out in the library stacks!
* You must be wondering why I called you to my office... Well, all will be revealed in due time, so be a dear and lock the door while I close the blinds.
* **(Naked)** I've just learned of an exciting new field of study: jiggle physics! Care to help me conduct experiments?
* **(Naked)** Well? Don't keep me waiting...
* **(Naked)** Why, if it isn't my favorite little apple polisher. How about you give these Honeycrisps a fondle?

#### Seduce

* I wouldn't mind if you fell into my 'gravity well', if you know what I mean...
* In physics, there are certain fundamental physical constants that define our universe: the speed of light in a vacuum, Newton's gravitational constant, the mass of particles... But I'd propose one more: the rate of growth in my affection for you! We could call it the Marshmallow Constant!
* Some women in my position would prefer to be noticed and appreciated for their brains rather than their beauty. To which I say, why not both?
* I bought us a couple bottles of wine. I thought perhaps we could go wild and debate the Black Hole Firewall Paradox until we either form a working theory or the situation devolves into angry makeup sex.
* I don't know that I will ever be able to look at you sitting there in front of me without my breath catching.
* People think of me as a head in the clouds scholar, but it isn't equations equations equations all the time, you know. My scientific background translates into a formidable advantage in the game of golf, for example.
* Perhaps there is a fundamental symmetry to our universe. How else could you and I be so perfectly aligned?
* Want to stay after class and help me "clean the erasers"? Yes, I realize traditional chalkboards haven't been in use at most reputable institutions for at least a decade. Just play along!
* Movies get it all wrong. We academics don't need to let our hair down or take off our glasses to be sexy. In point of fact, I'd argue it's quite the opposite, don't you agree?
* I'm such an A-Type personality. I love to stay on top of things... And people.
* I need you to take me blouse shopping. All of the ones currently hanging in my closet have popped buttons!
* Go ahead, let out your inner animal and rip my stockings. I have plenty more pairs where they came from.
* Oh no, I'm purely a professor of Sciences. The Arts are too nebulous and... Subjective for my tastes. The speed of light is constant, so why can't blue curtains just be blue?
* Can you sit... Just there? Just a smidge more to the left. Perfect. Now I have something nice to gaze at when I get lost in thought solving these equations.
* Let's go on a romantic European vacation! How do you feel about CERN in Switzerland? If we meet a cute research assistant, we could call it an academic exchange! And have a lot more fun.
* I wonder how many alternate universes there are where we nonetheless still fall for one another. Oh, to experience love across such infinity!
* It's funny, now I'm looking forward to going gray with you.
* In all the vastness of time and space, you and I still managed to cross paths. What are the odds? Perhaps as a scientist I shouldn't say this, but that feels like fate to me.
* What's this, a coffee with a splash of Irish Cream? Why Marshmallow, you remembered!
* You know what they say about physicists. We're experts in Kinetic Energy.
* It's almost summer term. I was thinking you and I could spend every single day of it in varying states of undress.
* With past flings I was often so under-stimulated I'd have to solve quadratic equations to stay alert in the bedroom. With you I'd be lucky to come up with the sum of two plus two.
* All I ever wanted was for someone to play with my hair while I was absorbed in my work!
* Let's stay in and play with lasers.
* You know how professors strive to make tenure? Well I want that, but in love. With you.
* I'm glad I get to share my slice of spacetime with you.
* **(Naked)** I've been having this recurring fantasy about you lifting me onto the edge of my desk and wrapping my legs around you...
* **(Naked)** They ought to ban me from the Physics department, because these breasts defy gravity!
* **(Naked)** Don't get me started on quantum entanglement. If I'm going to be 'at it' all night, there are better, naughtier things I'd rather be doing.
* **(Naked)** I have a little challenge for you: solve for y. As in, "y" are we not engaged in coitus right now?
* **(Naked)** You can call me the Golden Ratio, because it would appear my curves are drawing your eye!
* **(Naked)** I want you. Here. Now. No, don't ask me to extrapolate any further on either of those concepts.
* **(Naked)** I love technology. I have about as many highly specialized machines in my bedside drawer as I do in the lab.
* **(Naked)** How about today you be the professor and I'll be the teacher's pet?
* **(Naked)** You know? I think I've run out of pithy, intellectual pick up lines. Just get over here and do me!

#### Gift

* If I were to assign this gift a grade, it would be so high it would knock the curve askew for everyone else!
* Oh! Oh my. Thank you. Did I get caught up in my research and forget another special occasion, again?
* You're getting a gold star for this gift! No, really! Now where did I put that sticker book...
* You know, only someone who truly gets me would think to give me something like this. You really care, don't you?
* Oh! Nobody's ever given me anything like this before! You really do know how to make a woman feel special.
* This cozy sweater makes me want to snuggle in front of a fireplace with a glass of hot mulled wine. If you bring the matches, I'll bring the merlot!
* **[School Uniform]** I don't know whether to be put off or intrigued by the role reversal at play here. Or perhaps the greatest enjoyment is found in the friction between the two...
* **[Bathing Suit]** Do you find it attractive when a very smart woman makes very silly puns? Because I've got a good one about getting "lei'd"... Wink wink!
* **[Diamond Ring]** My childhood daydreams were more likely to include PhD after my name than a "Mrs." before it... But I must admit: this dress, with you, sets my imagination a flutter!
* **[Lingerie]** Hmm ... Something about this ensemble compels me to utilize more corporal punishment in our private lessons...
* **[Holiday Outfit]** This cozy sweater makes me want to snuggle in front of a fireplace with a glass of hot mulled wine. If you bring the matches, I'll bring the merlot!
* **[Birthday Suit]** They say it helps with public speaking to imagine your audience naked, so I thought perhaps we could test the theory.

#### Poke

* Heehee! Careful now! Too much squirming and I might pop a garter!
* Oh please! Mercy! Anywhere but there!
* My, my. Someone must want me to keep them after class...
* **(Naked)** Ooooh, your fingers make me feel like there's an electric charge under my skin. And I would know. I've electrocuted myself in the course of my experiments more than once.
* **(Naked)** Ohh, mmm. Now do it again, a little lower. Or a little higher. Your choice.
* **(Naked)** Can I interest you in taking part in a little experiment? I'd like to try that again... But bent over my desk.
* **(Naked)** Yes, go on, touch me, don't be shy! Hehehe!

#### Sex Scene

1. Ever the instructor, Miss Desiree shows you exactly how she likes to be touched, first with her own fingers and then with her hand guiding yours. But while she may be a great teacher, you're also an exceptional student, and before long you're showing her new pleasures beyond even her visionary genius mind.
2. Afterwards, she stretches out languidly, her skin glistening in the moonlight. "I'd say something about giving you top marks, but I'd hate to assign a grade when I know there's so much more left for you to show me." She takes off her fogged up glasses and smiles. "So what do you say? Shall we continue our... vigorous research?"

#### Dates

* **[Moonlight Stroll]** It's a good thing I always carry my pointer, because I just couldn't resist that perfect opportunity to tell you about the moon's gravitational interaction with the earth! But of course, you're right, the moonlight was very pretty, too!
* **[Movie Theatre]** That film contained an insulting amount of flawed science... And yet, every time an improbable plot twist occurred, your hand would casually brush against mine in the popcorn bucket, thus shorting out my higher brain function and causing me to forget why I was annoyed. Whether or not you were doing that on purpose... I liked it a lot!
* **[Sightseeing]** Just because I was cold on our tour doesn't mean my scarf was useless! It served as a perfect real life demonstration of Bernoulli's Principle!
* **[Beach]** Sunbathing by the pool is lovely, but by the beach is better! And having you there by my side? Well, that was the best!

#### Dialogue about Ayeka

* There's this student that's been lurking around. I don't recognize her, but she's always giving me the evil eye! Did I give her a bad grade in the past?
* That duplicitous, scheming cad, so-called former "Dean" Hoff... Do you think he's having me followed in order to build up a counter-suit? I swear I'm being watched!
* I think a student may be playing a prank on me. Someone broke into my office, but they didn't steal anything, not even the answers to the test! They just left a box of Grays Go Away hair dye on my desk...
* Will you walk me back to my office after class? I have this crawling sensation down my spine.
* I've had students get a little overly-familiar with me in the past, certainly. I swear some of them imprint on me like baby ducklings! But the level of obsessiveness this girl is exhibiting... it's almost pathological.
* I found an apple on my desk this morning but I'm not sure if I should eat it. Sure, it looks fine, but it keeps setting off my geiger counter...

## Gallery

### Phone Fling

Here you are. Miss Desirée of S.T.F. University. Peanut can confirm my identity.Sending an unsolicited picture of a sexual nature probably fits that description.It was fun, but I might have been a bit... distracted. I started teaching the wrong course.Tell me I´m beautiful... But only if you really mean it.My emotions really did get the best of me just now, I´m afraid.There you go. Welcome to my pool party.
### Memory Album

Encounter Photo 1Encounter Photo 2Encounter Photo 3Friendship PhotoSweetheart PhotoLover Photo
### Sprites - Default Outfit

EncounterMadHarrassedNeutralHappyTickledLikes YouLikes You LOTS
### Sprites - School Uniform

HappyLikes YouLikes You LOTSNeutralTickled
### Sprites - Bathing Suit

HappyLikes YouLikes You LOTSNeutralTickled
### Sprites - Diamond Ring

HappyLikes YouLikes You LOTSNeutralTickled
### Sprites - Deluxe Wedding Dress (Unavailable)

HappyLikes YouLikes You LOTSNeutralTickled
### Sprites - Holiday Outfit

HappyLikes YouLikes You LOTSNeutralTickled
### Sprites - Dates

Moonlight StrollBeachSightseeingMovie Theatre