I'm Fond of Castanets

## Description

The Dragon Friends are off to Seattle for the Stream of Annihilation this weekend! Not the characters, the real ones. But then what is real when you’re racing through the irradiated Australian desert in search of fuel to make your way to Freeside and you’re wearing a man’s face as a hat? Hard to say.

## Synopsis

As the Dragon Friends in disguise are walking toward the unknown bandit camp, Philge accidentally trips over a female robot buried in the sand, activating it. The robot introduces itself as Megryan, and tells them that the camp belongs to a chapter of the Tribe Of A Million Kings who she opposes as she was stolen from the Needle (and her robot friends Kevin, Timmy and Tomhanks) by the Tribe and then dumped in the desert when they couldn't get her to work. They decide to proceed with the plan to masquerade as tribespeople with hostages, with Megryan pretending to be a robot servant looking after the hostages.

Approaching the camp, Bobby calls out to Trav, the sentry, to claim to be an advance party from a different chapter of the tribe, and they are admitted to the camp to meet the chief, Grundle Cocksplat. Grundle recognizes Megryan as his former "TV robot" who he used to listen to audio records of *Home Improvement* episodes, and who had snuck out of the camp. Freezo asks if they have any spare fuel available, and Grundle says fuel is far too valuable for that. Bobby tries to hint that they're involved in "important business that will bring the tribe to glory", and Grundle reveals that he is actually aware of such a plan involving "being in the back pocket" of Freeside before he is interrupted by Philge shooting him in the head with Trav's crossbow that she quietly picked up during the conversation, then grabbing his helmet and declaring Philge in Charge Now. A third tribesman, Kevin, is shocked into revealing that there are drums (both of fuel, and bongoes) in one of the sheds. The friends loot the camp for fuel, weapons, explosives, a peewee bike, and Latin percussion instruments. Trav informs them that the rest of the bandits have gone to the slum villages surrounding the Haystack, a casino near the Needle, and they obtain more of the data that Kevin had about the Tribe's plan: they intend to start an uprising in the slums and overthrow the Needle. Freezo covers the Battle-roo in C4 and fills its pouch with grenades, and the Friends prepare to ride towards the Needle with the remaining tribesmen.

## People

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Freezo
* Bobby Pancakes
* Baston

### Non-Player Characters (NPCs)

* Grundle Cocksplat
* Trav
* Kevin

### Bestiary

* Battle-roo
* Robot

## Themes, tropes and running jokes

* Philge in Charge Now — Philge becomes chief of a small bandit camp by shooting the leader in the face

## Quotes

* "Hark! A shiny woman!" -- Baston
* "Are you a robot that belonged to the camp, is that why you hate them because they used you as some sort of sex robot and you weren't into it?" "Er, no."
* "And so, the Dragon Friends, now armed with a veritable armory of.. arms.."
* "Now, Megryan, you notice that he's wearing a skull as a hat. It's really up to you how you respond to this." — Ben
* "Go stand in the toilet!" — Philge's first official order as chief of the bandit camp

## Table Talk

* Ben is still subbing for Dave this week (since it's the second half of the same recording session).
* "Wait, you are saying you would pay for a robot to tell you that you're bad at sex?"
* "That's a double wink. You winked *and* then airquoted. Does that mean it's true?"