2021 Power Rankings-Week 5

## Introduction

Sunday Morning Football really screwed me on this one. Let's just get into it.

## Matchup Recap

* Duck Punchers moves into first place with a blowout victory against Stupid Idiots (7-0). **Next Matchup: Week 11**
* Ma ma momma said keeps the good times rolling with a win against defending champ Paddock 9 (8-7). **Next Matchup: Week 12**
* The Shotti Bunch is here to stay with another big win against a strong Pain Train unit (10-5). **Next Matchup: Week 7**
* Sweet Dee defeats RIPDab in the regular season for just the second time (4-10). **Next Matchup: Week 11**
* Mattness seals a victory on MNF against Papa's Posse to get back to .500 (12-6). N**ext Matchup: Week 12**

## Stat Chat

* Duck Punchers is now 7-0 all-time against The Stupid Idiots, the second most wins against an opponent without a loss in LOC history.
* Duck Punchers ties Shotti's record of most weeks spent in first place (27).
* Duck Punchers breaks the record for most regular season blowout wins (19).
* Paddock 9 breaks the record for most weeks spent in last place (20).
* Paddock 9 starts a season 0-4 for the first time in franchise history.
* Paddock 9's four-game losing streak is their longest since 2015.
* Paddock 9 is the first 0-4 team since 2017.
* Sweet Dee becomes the 9th team to reach 40 regular season wins.

## Survivor - Two Teams Eliminated

Papa's Posse and ma ma momma said have been eliminated from Survivor. Momma forgot to make picks twice in a span of three weeks.

Papa was eliminated by picking the Ravens over the Raiders in week one and then the Titans over the Jets in week four.

Of the remaining teams, Shotti is the only one with a strike. The rest have not missed yet.

## Trade Tracker

This has been a big season for trades. Paddock 9 has been wheeling and dealing in an attempt to either tank or help his team, but it's hard to say which. Papa, meanwhile, continues to get fleeced at every turn. We'll have to double up the charts next week, but for now let's look at two trades that could have some ramifications moving forward.

Starts (Mattness):

* CEH: 1
* Mooney: 1

Starts (Paddock 9)

So far so good for both sides on this trade. Woods has already had an incredible day on TNF after throwing a hissy fit so depending on what the other three players do on Sunday this could be as even a trade as it gets through two weeks in terms of points scored.

Starts (Paddock 9):

* Gordon: 3
* Fuller: 1

Starts (RIPDab)

* Aiyuk: 2
* Ruggs: 0

What a strange, strange trade. Ruggs is no longer on the team for RIPDab and Aiyuk is volatile as can be. So far it is hard to say that either side made out in this deal. More likely than not, the players that got traded are more of a lockerroom cancer than a help to the team. But we'll continue to monitor the situation as the season progresses.

## Power Rankings - Week Five

### 1(2). Ma ma momma said

Momma, there goes that man. The team I ranked first to start the season is proving me right, with a strong finish to September and a strong start to October. Adding Allen Robinson to the mix for the cheap price of Mike Davis only bolsters a roster that is more than capable of hanging with the big guns through December.

### 2(1). RIPDab

The loss of David Montgomery seems to have slowed the roll of the only team that has broken 1,000 points in 2021. They've faced the most points against and been upset two weeks in a row, but a get-right matchup against Papa's Posse should leave Dab feeling good as they pass the 1/3rd point of the season.

### 3(3). Duck Punchers

Duck had a great week. They broke records for most blowouts, most weeks in first, and jumped over a few teams for first place in the current standings. But good times never last. They face a brutal stretch in which they face Pain Train, momma, and Shotti mixed in with a game against the unpredictable Sweet Dee.

### 4(4). The Shotti Bunch

No Gronk, no Ridley, Edmonds hurt, Miles Sanders benched. The key guys are falling fast for Shotti, but the beat goes on. 3-1 and projected to win this week, unless Dee has more tricks up her sleeve.

### 5(5). Pain Train

It's becoming more and more obvious that Pain Train is playing with a sense of urgency and desperation. Teams at the top are getting stronger by the trade and Pain Train cannot seem to get a deal worked out. Some will remember last year he somehow managed to fleece DK Metcalf from Sweet Dee. He hasn't been so lucky yet this year, but that has not stopped him from trying.

### 6(8). Sweet Dee

okay, gurl, I see you. Just the fourth victory ever against her husband and it could not have come at a better time. The win was in no small part due to the incredible Mahomes/Hill hookup. The pair combined for over 120 points, nearly more than the rest of her team combined. What can they do to follow that up against a much better Buffalo defense?

### 7(6). The Stupid Idiots

Bad news: they did not win. Good news: no one on Earth expected them to win. Stupid Idiots simply has to write in a loss whenever they face Duck Punchers and move on to next week. As far as .500 teams, they are as underwhelming as Mattness with just as many injury excuses as the Commish. Julio Jones and Logan Thomas are decent chunks of lost points, and the man has so many injuries that his IR spots are full with bench spots taken up by IR guys. It's like a hospital during a COVID spike down there.

### 8(7). The Multiverse of Mattness

For the second time in three weeks a key player got hurt early in a game and potentially cost the team a win. These types of injuries are the worst. If they happen before the game than there's time to sub someone in, but during the game is simply a waste of a roster spot. Now Mattness must hope that Paddock 9, whose players have incredible matchups, will find a way to choke again. But this is shaping up to be another really frustrating season for Mattness.

### 9(9). Papa's Posse

Papa's best player, Patterson, probably didn't need a handcuff. But Papa decided to trade under-performing, albeit star player, Allen Robinson, for handcuff Mike Davis. It paid off against the Jets this week, but I have to be honest: real head scratcher here. Papa is spiraling out of control as all true DiGennaro's are prone to doing after a 1-3 start. Shame on Jared for taking advantage of this poor man but all is fair in love and fantasy.

### 10(10). Paddock 9

This bitch will still beat me this week, so don't cry for lowly Paddock 9.

## Matchup of the Week

Fuck it, let's go with Pain Train vs. Duck Punchers. Gotta see what 6th place Pain Train has in store for first place Duck. Pain Train is projected to win by 32 points.

## Conclusion

Rushing to a photo finish this week yet again. Blame my employer @MarvelStudios for making me work during work instead of doing the writeups.