Teakle-Sama

Teakle-Sama is the most powerful being in the universe, capable of destroying planets with a single \*WAPWAP\*.

His hobbies include practicing AP Varsity Mock Trial, spending time with his son, learning Japanese, engaging in academic activities, scratching his flavor savor, and, of course, watching his favorite anime, Speed Racer.

## Origin

> *"And Gustin said, Let there be Teakle: and there was Teakle."*
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Not much is known about Teakle-sama's beginnings. He came into being in the void, the vast emptiness. There was nobody around to raise him, so he raised himself. To fend off against the antimatter, he developed his WAPWAP technique, where he fans his hand and destroys everything in his path. He also developed the oratory sport of AP Varsity Mock Trial in both Spanish and English, laying down the foundation of the society in which we live in.

## Creation of the Universe Arc

After developing and perfecting his new oratory sport of AP Varsity mock trial, he found that there was no one that he could practice with. Around 6000 BCE, he vored himself, causing an implosion and a release of his Elder God energy. This later came to be known as El Grande Bang. The resulting implosion led to the creation of the entire Universe itself, and, in the rubble, his first-born son, Chepe Mac Donald, emerged. Teakle-sama was overjoyed, so to house his newborn son, he built Ram Ranch with his bare hands, and appointed a council of 36 cowboys and their leader, the Elder Cowboy Grant Mac Donald, to raise him and guide him through an epic coming of age story of AP Varsity Mock Trial. Teakle-sama realized quickly that Chepe and the cowboys would quickly get hungry after their rigorous training, so he constructed the Chinese Buffet, which he would later marry. Unknown to Teakle-sama, the implosion during El Grande Bang caused some of his Flavor Saver to shave off. The DNA from his flavor saver hairs regrouped and formed the first life forms that would be the predecessors to the Shapiro Clan. While the Universe was still young, Teakle-sama fought with Schoengart in the Battle of Stalingrad to secure a future for his son and the Ranch.

## Powers

Teakle-sama, being an Elder God, has a wide array of powers.

### **Oratory Skills**

Teakle-sama, being the creator of AP Varsity Mock Trial, is the strongest user of all Oratory style attacks. He is not only proficient in English, he has also mastered AP Varsity Mock Trial in Spanish, something that even Chepe hasn't achieved yet. In addition, he is also one of the most powerful orators of the Japanese language, but has not yet fully mastered it.

### **Physical Powers**

Teakle-sama has an immense strength, with his famed WAPWAP attack being capable of destroying entire planets in a single fan. His great strength allowed him to quickly build the Ranch and the Chinese Buffet almost instantaneously, without even breaking a sweat.

### **Visual Prowess**

Teakle-sama has very special eyes that grant him unrivaled power. He is able shoot beams of pure capitalism that not even the strongest socialism turkey could withstand. His eyes have the special ability of seeing energy that flows through the world, allowing him to amass energy for various reasons, such as casting a jutsu. This ability came in handy during the Battle of Stalingrad, where Teakle-sama went Super Saiyan to amass energy to power Schoengod's laser eyes. The Shapiro Clan's Sharingan, derived from Teakle-sama's DNA, allows them to use similar powers, though not to the extent of Teakle-sama. They can also see the flow of energy, allowing them to use 「FACTS」, 「LOGIC」, and 「CAPITALISM」 style jutsu.

### **Intellect**

If there were a number to sum up Teakle-sama's IQ, it would be 0, as there simply aren't enough numbers. This is mainly due to Teakle-sama's love of education and academia. He often roams the earth in search of heathens whoms't do not partake in academic activities. If you hear the words, "Is this academic?", then you are already dead.

### **Teakle-Time**

Teakle-sama has the power to stop and control time-space itself, leading to the phenomena known as Teakle-Time. During Teakle Time, Teakle-sama can trap his opponent in a separate time-space and leave them to suffer eternally, should they not participate in academic pursuits.

## Ram Ranch Saga

The Glorious Quest Of Teakle-Sama begins with the Ram Ranch Saga. Teakle-sama used the Ranch to raise Chepe and hone his skills in the Oratory sport of AP Varsity Mock Trial.

### **Showdown With Ben Shapiro**

In the first chapter, Teakle-sama was afflicted with a kidney stone, causing him to miss a whole week of oration practice with Chepe. Bored out of his mind, Chepe sought out opponents to keep himself busy and sharpen his skills. He came across Ben Shapiro, and, in an epic confrontation, was almost defeated in his own specialty, Oration. Grant Mac Donald had to step in to prevent things from getting hairy. Chepe was flustered, as he could not believed that after all of his training, he almost lost to someone with almost no experience with AP Varsity Mock Trial. Grant tried telling him to "cheer up", but Chepe would not be cheered. Determined to best his opponent, he practiced with the cowboys, harder and deeper than he ever had before. In chapter three, Chepe seeks out Ben Shapiro again, this time besting him in the battle. He returned to the Ranch in chapter four, and the trauma of losing caused Benny Boy to manifest his Sharingan, swearing that he would beat Chepe some day.

### **U.S. Marine Invasion**

In the seventh installment, the Ranch was put under siege, under lockdown by the U.S. Marines. They approached the Ranch in their black Ford Raptor trucks, helicopters landing. They knew that Teakle-sama was giving Prince Harry asylum, so they attacked the Ranch in a special black ops mission. As Teakle-sama was busy training hard with Chepe, he couldn't be bothered to use any power on them, so Prince Harry called in the British Royal Army, resulting in a stalemate. After the battle, Lonk PP Brendon, one of the Marines, realized the benefits of the Ranch and Oration, so he moved into the Ranch to become Teakle-sama's apprentice.