Elspeth and Angus Meet the Loch Ness Monster

**Elspeth and Angus Meet the Loch Ness Monster** is the first episode of The Family-Ness.

## Synopsis

When Elspeth MacToot and Angus MacToot find Silly-Ness, mistaking him for a grassy mound, they not only discover him and the other Nessies, but their unique friendship with them begins.

## Transcript

Mr. MacToot: If you two youngsters are going out to play,...

Narrator: ...,said Mr. MacToot to his two children Angus and Elspeth,...

[Angus and Elspeth run downhill towards Loch Ness]

Mr. MacToot (offscreen): ...,make sure that you're back here within the hour. I’m about to put out your lunch.

[Silly-Ness is stuck upside-down in a hole at the bottom of the hill]

Angus: Beat you to that huge mound, Elspeth! \*jumps onto Silly-Ness’ belly\* \*jumps again\* It’s alive! It’s moving!

Silly-Ness: \*breathes in, bouncing Angus onto the ground with his belly\*

[Angus lands, sitting, on Silly-Ness’ tail]

Silly-Ness: \*shakes and yells\*

Elspeth (offscreen): What’s happening? Where are you, Angus? Are you alright? \*looks down in horror\*

Silly-Ness: \*wiggles his legs\*

Elspeth: Quickly, Angus! Run for your life!

Elspeth (offscreen): It must be the Loch Ness Monster!

Angus: \*stands up\* Well, even if it is, it’s stuck in this hole and we must help it! \*points at the hole\* \*gives Elspeth a beckoning sign\* Come on, Elspeth, let’s try to pull it out.

Elspeth: \*looks in horror before gaining confidence\* \*tiptoes across Silly-Ness’ belly\* \*slides down his tail\* Weeeee!

Angus (offscreen): Come on, Elspeth!

[Elspeth and Angus are tugging on Silly-Ness’ tail]

Angus: Pull as hard as you can! Heave!

Narrator: As the children tugged and pulled, bubbles appeared on the surface of the loch, followed by a monstrous head.

[Bubbles appear on the loch]

Ferocious-Ness: \*looks out of the loch\*

Narrator: It was Ferocious-Ness, the Loch Ness Monster.

Ferocious-Ness: \*growls\*

Angus: Look! \*points at Ferocious-Ness\*

Ferocious-Ness: \*roars\*

Angus: It’s another monster!

Ferocious-Ness: \*points at Silly-Ness\* That’s Silly-Ness.

Silly-Ness: \*wiggles his legs\*

Ferocious-Ness (offscreen): He’s always falling into something or other.

Ferocious-Ness: \*points at Angus and Elspeth\* That’s nothing to the mess you two are in!

Angus: Why? What for? \*points his thumb at Silly-Ness\* We were only trying to help.

Silly-Ness: \*wiggles his legs\*

Ferocious-Ness: Ah, but you’re humans. And Nessies must have nothing to do with humans!

[Angus and Elspeth smile at each other]

Ferocious-Ness (offscreen): It’s a strict rule!

Ferocious-Ness: Hoots! Are you ready for it?

Her High-Ness: \*rises from the loch, holding a rope\*

Ferocious-Ness: Here comes Her High-Ness, she makes the rules!

Elspeth (bows): The queen monster!

Elspeth: Whatever next? \*curtseys\*

Angus: \*bows\*

Her High-Ness: Well, at least they have good manners. \*throws the end of her rope into the air\* \*points at it\* Catch that!

[The middle of the rope lands in a tree] Tie it around that foolish Nessie’s feet!

[Angus and Elspeth wrap the rope around Silly-Ness’ ankles]

Angus: I’ll tie you one of my best scout knots! \*ties the rope together\*

[Mighty-Ness and Heavy-Ness are to the right of Her High-Ness]

Narrator: Soon, more Nessies arrived on the scene.

Her High-Ness: \*hands Mighty-Ness the rope\*

Narrator: Mighty-Ness and Heavy-Ness. And they grabbed the other end of the rope.

Her High-Ness: Heave away with all your might!

[Mighty-Ness and Heavy-Ness pull the rope, which starts to move Silly-Ness]

Her High-Ness: Heave away! Heave away!

[Silly-Ness’ feet hit the tree branch]

[He is sweating and has an alarmed facial expression]

[The tree branch breaks]

[Mighty-Ness and Heavy-Ness drop the rope and fall into the loch, creating a large splash which becomes a series of waves]

Narrator: Meanwhile, on the other side of the loch,...

[A driver is sitting next to his lorry, eating a sandwich]

Lorry driver: \*gasps\*

[The wave goes over him]

Lorry driver: Euhhh...

Narrator: Right before his very eyes were four Loch Ness Monsters.

Lorry driver: Oh, four monsters! I must report this at once to the police station! \*opens his lorry door\*

[Water comes out of the lorry cabin, knocking him over]

Lorry driver: \*gets back up\* \*drives away\* to Inverness\*

[Cuts back to the loch]

Narrator: Meanwhile, Her High-Ness had decided to reward the two children for helping Silly-Ness out of the hole, by presenting them with two secret Thistle Whistles, so that they could call up the Family-Ness, whenever they needed them.

Her High-Ness: \*takes two Thistle Whistles out of her purse and hands them to Angus and Elspeth\*

[Angus and Elspeth blow on the whistles]

Her High-Ness: \*covers her ears\* Ohhh, not so loud, children, you’ll wake up all the other Nessies.

[All the other Nessies peep out of the loch]

[The lorry driver from the previous scene is driving past]

Narrator: Just then, a lorry driver rounded a bend in the toad.

Lorry driver: Owwww!

Lorry driver (offscreen): More monsters? Is that all?

Unknown Nessie: \*rises their head from the lake to look at the camera\*

Lorry driver: \*drives away, accidentally destroying a road sign\*

[Cuts to outside a police station in Inverness]

Lorry driver: \*parks\* Ah ah! Oh oh! Ah ah ah oh oh oh! \*runs inside\*

[Cuts inside]

Narrator: Inside the police station was Sergeant MacFuzz.

Lorry driver: \*runs inside\*

Lorry driver: I’ve just seen the Loch Ness Monster! Hundreds of ‘em!

Seargeant MacFuzz: Oh, yes. Where exactly did you see these so-called monsters?

Lorry driver: Out there! \*points behind him\* In the loch! Thousands of them!

Sergeant MacFuzz: Do you know what day this is? \*points at his calendar\* April the first! All Fools’ Day! Monsters indeed! \*chuckles under his breath\*