06: FINA MAKES A FISH FRIEND (and Oris kinda dies)

* **After slaying the minotaur, we make our way to the river. The river contains a golden fish, which Kang promptly tries to touch and speak to. Tarlenheim remembers a fable from his childhood that explains that a golden fish once granted wishes.**

* + **Fina successfully mage hands the fish. After a little dunking, he explains the Great Library is nearby and that it contains all the things mortals seek (gold).**
	+ **The fish also explains that he has lost the “kings coin.” He says his scales are actually gold (which wins him the favor of all the ladies beneath the waves) and are part of the King’s Gold (a favor paid by mortals to the ancient, magical kings of the forest who, coincidentally, are demigods and have no need for gold). Fish doesn’t trust us to search for the coin and not take it.**
	+ **Tarlenheim gives the fish his signet ring as collateral. Fish accepts it with his mouth. After some skillful negotiation, the fish agrees to grant Fina a wish if we find the coin. Fina whips out the alethiometer and…**

* + - **Rooster/marigold/horse leg.**
		- **Q) What about the rooster? Good roll = Rooster/sun/hourglass.**
		- **Q) What about the horse leg? Bad roll = Horse/road/building.**
		- **Q) What about the marigold? Good roll = symbol of gold (color) fairy (organic nature)  treasure.**
	+ **Kang uses “Speak with Plants” from his new axe to talk to the rushes. In riddle-speak, they explain that the fish is basically cursed to never be looking in the right place when the sun shines upon it. We camp out hoping to see the coin at dawn; the morning is overcast. Kang speaks with the plants again to no avail**
	+ **Tarlenheim has a bright idea and shines his lantern on the shore–no dice. Fina casts a soft, natural daylight on Kang’s javelin and waves it over the river bank.**
	+ **Kang sticks the javelin in the water and wades in with Fina on his shoulders, Tarlenheim sees a glint! Fina begs the alethiometer for guidance (candle/thunderbolt/griffin) and gets (sun/lady’s hand mirror/coin).**
	+ **Oris is cooking bacon. No one knows where he got it, but, the smell attracting his attention, Tarlenheim notices the princess is adjusting her hair in a small hand mirror. Tarlenheim politely borrows it so we can look in the river through a reflected material. Kang snatches it from his hand, passes it to Fina on his shoulders, and they immediately see the coin right in front of them. Fina mage hands to pick it up, places it in her hand, and BAMMO! Wisdom save. Fina stuffs the coin in a small bag of sand so she is not tempted. Kang returns the mirror to Tarlenheim.**
	+ **The fish spits up Tarlenheim’s signet ring, which Fina pockets to give back to him. Fina gives the coin to the fish. The fish becomes A GOLDEN-HAIRED PAGE BOY who embraces her gratefully and asks what she wishes for.**

* + - **She asks Mr Fish Hans asks if it’s in his power to transport the party to the location of the unicorn. He says yes. He suggests we speak with the kingfisher to find out the location of where he needs to send us. We must offer him a great fish; Hans says we should go fishing (literally).**
		- **Hans immediately begins to serve the princess. He somehow magically produces mutton.**
		- **Wildfire uses her badass magic hands to snatch a giant god damn salmon out of the river. The Kingfisher feasts happily and Fina plies him for info. He says: “widdershins and thrice around you must go, you must pass the grassy knoll, the outcropping, and the shadowy dell and thereupon shall be the grove in which the sad, sad mare lays”**
	+ **Hans conjures a swan feather token which manifests as a giant swan boat (large enough to carry whole party and horses). Cue Pure Imagination from Willy Wonka.**
* **We go widdershins, etc. etc. and pass the grassy knoll (we get a creepy feeling there is an archer there JFK ASSASSINATION PLOT), the outcropping (beautiful white tree with leaves that fall off and disappear before they touch the surface of the river), the shadowy dell (full of deep, spoopy shadows that contain a very purpley, strange cheshire cat that changes into an arrangement of flowers with an oddly large grin). The water picks up and eventually we stop at the shore of the grove.**
* **The hornless mare lies (radiantly glowing) about 50 ft from the water. The stallion prances (nervously) around her, giving an unearthly cry. She is in a deep slumber, her horn reduced to a short stump. No other beasts come near them.**
* **Durk and Oris stay on the boat with the horses. The rest of the party alights onto the land. Kang stays on shore as Fina, Tarlenheim, Wildfire (virgin), Wabu (virgin), and the Princess (virgin) approach, horn extended in front of them.**

* + **The sluts non-virgins find themselves getting heavier and heavier as they approach. The virgins approach successfully and a boy rises from behind the felled unicorn. He is dressed in clothing of woven leaves and hides and is youthfully beautiful and graceful. We infer it is Jack, the boy who brought the princess to see the unicorns. He looks p sad.**
	+ **He sees Princess Lily and his face radiates love and pure goodness. The stallion prancey-approaches and makes sounds. Jack and Lily place the horn back on the mare’s hornstump; in a flash of golden light, she stands as if renewed.**
	+ **The sky parts. The clouds burn away like cotton candy in water. In a flash, the skies transform into a beautiful, near-cloudless spring day. The snow melts.**
* **Kang/Durk/Oris notice a silver-hide stag with hella antlers emerge on the other side of the river.**

* + **The Mossenleaf Stag entrances Kang and Oris, and they start walking towards it through the river.  Kang rolls low, and gains wisdom from the encounter! (Magdalene totally rolls wrong, and kills Oris...kills Oris dead.)**
	+ **Kang scoops up Oris, and bolts over to the unicorns where Wabu is, yelling expletives at Kurk in response to his question along the way.**
	+ **Wabu summons up his turtley powers, and golden light radiates from his hands...doing nothing.**
	+ **Kang turns to the Unicorns, asking for help. Jack looks worried at the unicorns after Kang speaks.**
	+ **The unicorn mare slowly walks up to Oris and Kang, and then looooooks into Kang’s eyes…(Magdalene rolls a 2) and Kang only sees joy and peace in the eyes, comprehending nothing.**
	+ **The Unicorn slowly bends down and brings Oris back to life by touching her horn to his chest. ORIS CAN NOW NEVER DIE OF NATURAL CAUSES OR AGE. He can only die by misadventure. He’s basically like a vampire.**

**We learned that there is a library around...someplace. Tarlenheim also wants to go back to that sweet tree. Yes! The special white tree in the outcropping.**