Penguin Club Presidential Election, 2017

**The Penguin Club Presidential Election, 2017** was a role-play which showed the first, and only, Presidential Election to take place in Penguin Club, the group chat that Groupy McGroupface was formerly a part of. Incumbent ruler Lord Squidy called for the election to prove his popularity and to crush all opposition.

Major candidates opposing Lord Squidy in this election included Polo Field, Dave Krysko and Rockhopper.

## Candidates

### The Freedom Party

* **Presidential Nominee:** Dave Krysko
* **Vice Presidential Nominee:** Ninja
* **Other Presidential Candidates:**
	+ Ninja
	+ Pablo Myers
	+ Kim-Jong Un
	+ Rookie

### Lord Squidy's Party

* **Presidential Nominee:** Lord Squidy
* **Vice Presidential Nominee:** Herbert P. Bear

### The People's Party

* **Presidential Nominee:** Polo Field
* **Vice Presidential Nominee:** Business Moose
* **Other Presidential Candidates**
	+ Charles Foster Kane
	+ Lisa Simpson
	+ Rory Richards

### The Environmentalist Party

* **Presidential Nominee:** Rockhopper
* **Vice Presidential Nominee:** Aunt Arctic
* **Other Presidential Nominees**
	+ Harambe
	+ Sgt. Paul Onion
	+ Pees'lubn Andhistan'dhin
	+ Bruce Rauner

## Presidential Primaries - The Campaign

In early May 2017, Lord Squidy (tyrannical dictator of Penguin Club) announced that he would be holding a Presidential Election to prove to other group chats across the globe, such as Groupy McGroupface, that despite the loss of his empire he was still a mighty ruler that was adored by all of his loyal subjects. Immediately, multiple Penguin Club citizens announced their intention to oppose Lord Squidy in this upcoming election.

A month later, in early June, GCNN began full-time media coverage on the Penguin Club Presidential Election. As a result of this, all candidates began to increase their level of campaigning. The methods of campaigning used by candidates varied, and included posters, rallies, speeches, newspaper addresses and television appearances. Additionally, each political party held a debate, allowing candidates to confront each other one all of the difficult issues facing Penguin Club.

The first debate to take place was The Freedom Party Debate, which saw Charles Foster Kane relentlessly attack fellow candidates Polo Field, Lisa Simpson and Rory Richards. Lisa Simpson took offence to the comments made regarding her and fellow candidates, and therefore claimed that Kane was unfit for office. Polo Field chose to remain subdued throughout all of Kane's attacks, whilst Richards did not appear to understand he was being attacked. Later in the week, The Freedom Party debate was held. At the beginning of the debate, Pablo Myers began to offer fish to fellow candidates. The only people in the debate hall to accept the fish were Kim-Jong Un and Moe DeRator, both of which became extremely sick after doing so. The debate was called to a halt and a new moderator was brought to the scene. Kim-Jong Un also left the debate early, after tiring of his opponents. Both Dave Krysko and Ninja condemned their fellow candidates and apologised to viewers watching the debate. The final debate to take place was The Environmentalist Party Debate. In this debate, Sgt. Paul Onion began to viciously insult all other candidates, largely focusing on Aunt Arctic. Aunt Arctic chose to rise above the comments and continued to debate her fellow candidates. Arctic criticised Bruce Rauner's involvement with the Groupy McGroupface Republican Party and Lord Squidy. Bruce Rauner could not effectively respond to these comments, therefore hurting his electability

Lord Squidy gave an ongoing commentary of the debates, continually criticising all of the candidates and the three other political parties. He also held a rally during the course of the primaries with his running mate Herbert P. Bear. During this rally he ferociously slandered his opponents and gave himself an endless amount of praise, calling himself a 'mighty lord'.

## Presidential Primaries - Voting

The Presidential Primaries used a system of delegates. Members of each party would vote for their selected candidates throughout the length of one week, and these votes would then be transferred proportionally into delegates. Candidates had the option of dropping out of the primaries during the week if they wished to do so. The first batch of results were announced after the first day of voting.

**MONDAY - RESULTS**

***The Freedom Party***

* Ninja: 90 Delegates

* Dave Krysko: 60 Delegates

* Kim-Jong Un: 60 Delegates

* Pablo Myers: 30 Delegates

* Rookie: 30 Delegates

***The People's Party***

* Polo Field: 120 Delegates
* Lisa Simpson: 90 Delegates
* Charles Foster Kane: 30 Delegates
* Rory Richards: 30 Delegates

***The Environmentalist Party***

* Aunt Arcitc: 90 Delegates

* Rockhopper: 60 Delegates

* Harambe: 60 Delegates

* Sgt. Paul Onion: 30 Delegates

* Pees’lubn Andhistan’dhin: 30 Delegates

* Bruce Rauner: 0 Delegates

Soon after these results were released, Polo Field, Ninja and Aunt Arctic released statements thanking all of those that had voted for them. Being the only candidate to have received 0 delegates, Bruce Rauner officially ended his campaign for Presidency. A new set of results were announced the following day.

**TUESDAY** **- RESULTS**

***The People's Party***

* Polo Field: 120 Delegates

* Charles Foster Kane: 120 Delegates

* Lisa Simpson: 90 Delegates

* Rory Richards: 30 Delegates

***The Freedom Party***

* Dave Krysko: 90 Delegates

* Ninja: 90 Delegates

* Kim-Jong Un: 90 Delegates

* Pablo Myers: 60 Delegates

* Rookie: 30 Delegates

***The Environmentalist Party***

* Aunt Arcitc: 120 Delegates

* Harambe: 60 Delegates

* Pees’lubn Andhistan’dhin: 60 Delegates

* Sgt. Paul Onion: 60 Delegates

* Rockhopper: 60 Delegates

After falling behind their fellow candidates and not gaining any new delegates in the second round of results, both Rory Richard and Rookie suspended their candidacy for the Presidency. In what was seen as a shock move, Kim-Jong Un took the decision to withdraw his candidacy despite remaining in first place for The Freedom Party Presidential Nomination. It is thought that he may have made a deal with Lord Squidy to drop out of the race, as months later he joined the Squidy Administration to become Secretary of State. No new results were announced until Friday.

**FRIDAY - RESULTS**

***The Freedom Party***

* Dave Krysko: 180 Delegates
* Ninja: 90 Delegates
* Pablo Myers: 60 Delegates

***The People's Party***

* Polo Field: 210 Delegates
* Chaeles Foster Kane: 120 Delegates
* Lisa Simpson: 90 Delegates

***The Environmentalist Party***

* Rockhopper: 150 Delegates
* Aunt Arcitc: 120 Delegates
* Harambe: 60 Delegates
* Pees’lubn Andhistan’dhin: 60 Delegates
* Sgt. Paul Onion: 60 Delegates

In light of these new results, Rockhopper and Dave Krysko were pushed ahead of their opponents, leaving them in first place in their respective primaries. Both Rockhopper and Krysko delivered speeches thanking the voters for making this possible. The final set of results was announced two days later.

**SUNDAY - RESULTS**

***The Freedom Party***

* Dave Krysko: 210 Delegates
* Ninja: 120 Delegates
* Pablo Myers: 90 Delegates

***The People's Party***

* Polo Field: 240 Delegates
* Chaeles Foster Kane: 150 Delegates
* Lisa Simpson: 120 Delegates

***The Environmentalist Party***

* Rockhopper: 180 Delegates
* Aunt Arcitc: 120 Delegates
* Harambe: 90 Delegates
* Sgt. Paul Onion: 90 Delegates
* Pees’lubn Andhistan’dhin: 60 Delegates

After the final batch of results were released, Dave Krysko, Polo Field and Rockhopper were chosen to represent their effective parties in the upcoming General Election. The majority of candidates took the decision to endorse their party nominee, providing endorsements and conceding the race. Charles Foster Kane, Pablo Myers and Sgt. Paul Onion did not follow suit, and therefore refusing to concede. Dave Krysko selected Freedom Party Presidential candidate Ninja as his running mate, Polo Field selected Business Moose as his running mate and Rockhopper later chose pirate Jack Sparrow. Lord Squidy responded to the results by tweeting "Bring it on".

## General Election

Throughout the two weeks of election campaigning, Lord Squidy endlessly attacked Polo Field, Dave Krysko and Rockhopper. It was clear that he had a larger hatred for Dave Krysko than of the other two candidates, due to the fact that he threatened to execute anybody that chose to vote for the Krysko Presidential campaign. Polo Field, David Kyrsko and Rockhopper took the decision to remain positive in their approach to their respective campaigns, refusing to attack one another.

At one of his many rallies, Lord Squidy made a campaign pledge to create a Presidential cabinet if elected by the voters. He announced at this rally that the cabinet would include Groupy McGroupface right-wing politicians such as Mike Pence, Nigel Farage, Paul Atishon, Donald Trump, as well as reality television star Stephen Bear. He declared that this alt-right cabinet would help him in putting new polices to 'help the people of Penguin Club', such as placing a 99% tax on all income.

At the first Presidential Debate, which was hosted by 'David Dimbleby', Lord Squidy spent a considerable portion of his time speaking of how much he despised Dave Krysko and what he would do to him and his voters once he had been re-elected. The three other candidates spent the large majority of the debate speaking of Penguin Club's relationship with Groupy McGroupface, and how it needed to be healed in the very near future. As the debate came to a close and Lord Squidy went to take a bow, a gun shot was fired at him from the back of the audience. Squidy flew down from the podium and onto the floor, where was then covered by a group of bodyguards. 'David Dimbleby' then took off his mask to reveal that he was in fact not David Dimbleby, but instead White House Senior Advisor to the President Mycroft Holmes. Holmes cried out that the plan had all gone wrong, before letting off a smoke bomb and disappearing.

Soon after this took place, Lord Squidy launched a 'tweet storm', alleging in tweets that Groupy McGroupface were responsible for this assassination attempt. He went on to make a campaign pledge, that if re-elected, he would immediately declare war on Groupy McGroupface.

Frank Underwood gave a speech stating that former White House official Mycroft Holmes acted alone in this attack, and did not do so with the knowledge of the Groupy McGroupface government. Underwood promised that the FBI would launch an attempt to find Holmes and bring him to justice. Lord Squidy did not accept this statement, asserting that Holmes could not have acted alone as he was not the one to fire the gun. It was later shown in Sangue that the shot had been fired by CIA Agent Gust Avrakatos. In an attempt to deflect news away from this story, President Underwood announced that his Vice President Jeremy Corbyn would be resigning as a result of a real-life General Election in the United Kingdom, which meant that Corbyn would not be able to fully concentrate on group chat life and responsibilities. He originally declared that Michael Madigan would become his new Vice President, however after Madigan refused the offer, Tim Kaine was chosen instead. Lord Squidy ridiculed this news, saying that it showed there was no-one that wanted to work for Underwood.

A Vice Presidential Debate was also held during the General Election, which saw Vice President Herbert P. Bear go up against Business Moose, Ninja and Jack Sparrow. Sparrow appeared to be drunk during the debate, whilst Bear appeared to be half-asleep. Ninja spent the debate highlighting the flaws in his opponents, which seemed to cause a certain amount of anxiety for Business Moose.

One day before voting took place, the final Presidential Debate was held, moderated by the real David Dimbleby. Similar to the first Presidential Debate, Lord Squidy spent the first half of the debate antagonising David Krysko, continuing to cite his hatred for him. Dimbleby soon grew tired of Lord Squidy's juvenile behaviour, taking the decision to leave the debate hall. Several audience members did the same, refusing to tolerate Lord Squidy's atrocious behaviour. With no moderator, Apollo Justice stepped out from the audience and offered to serve as a moderator so that the candidates could still have the opportunity to debate with each other. The following day, voting took place.

### **General Election Results**

**1ST PLACE: Lord Squidy and Herbert P. Bear (Lord Squidy's Party): 360 DELEGATES**

**2ND PLACE: Polo Field and Business Moose (The People's Party): 120 DELEGATES**

**3RD PLACE [JOINT]: Dave Krysko and Ninja (The Freedom Party), Rockhopper and Jack Sparrow (The Environmentalist Party): 60 DELAGTES**

## The Aftermath

GCNN reported on the results and provided an ongoing commentary. It was believed that the election was most likely rigged, however no solid evidence could be provided to support this theory. Soon after the results were confirmed, GCNN announced that they had received news that Polo Field, Dave Krysko, Rockhopper, Business Moose, Ninja and Jack Sparrow had fled to Groupy McGroupface.

Lord Squidy soon gave a victory speech, declaring that he had proven what a popular leader he was and that the citizens of Penguin Club still adored him. He ended his speech by making a direct address to Penguin Club. He spoke of his campaign pledge to go to war with Groupy McGroupface. Squidy proclaimed that he was willing to break this pledge on one condition: the Penguin Club Presidential candidates would have to be given back to him. It was either that, or war.

Nigel Farage, the newly appointed Penguin Club Secretary of State travelled to Groupy McGroupface to meet with President Frank Underwood, White House Chief of Staff Doug Stamper and GMGF Secretary of State Catherine Durant. He entered the meeting and much to his surprise, Mycroft Holmes was also there. At the sight of Holmes Farage grew furious, aggressively chastising Frank Underwood. Underwood, Stamper and Holmes all responded to this by threatening Farage's life, telling him that unless Penguin Club withdrew their demands, he would not survive the plane journey back home. After appearing visibly concerned, Durant was escorted out of the room by Stamper. Once Durant left the room, Underwood openly made death threats, telling Farage he would not leave the room alive. Realising he had no other choice, Farage signed an agreement not to go to war, which also meant that the Presidential candidates could remain in Groupy McGroupface. The agreement did however mean that all trade sanctions placed against Penguin Club would be lifted. After the agreement was signed, Farage fled the White House.

Several hours later, Nigel Farage's airplane to Penguin Club crashed. The incident was reported on by GCNN, who broke the news that Nigel Farage was presumed to be deceased. Lord Squidy responded to the event by giving a speech outside of his Presidential Palace, declaring that he was deeply saddened by Farage's death and was willing to respect the agreement made between Farage and Groupy McGroupface.

## Cast

**Buttons99999**

* Lord Squidy
* Dave Krysko
* Polo Field
* Rockhopper
* Ninja
* Rookie
* Lisa Simpson
* Rory Richards
* Aunt Arctic
* Harambe
* Nigel Farage
* Mike Pence
* Donald Trump
* Stephen Bear
* Doug Stamper
* Catherine Durant
* Alex DeRator
* Stohk Ihmage

**GrandpaGames**

* Pablo Myers
* Charles Foster Kane
* Sgt. Paul Onion
* Bruce Rauner
* Business Moose
* Ninja
* Frank Underwood

**Red498**

* Kim-Jong Un
* Pees'lubn Andhistan'dhin
* Herbert P. Bear
* Jack Sparrow
* Paul Atishon
* Mycroft Holmes
* David Dimbleby
* Stohk Ihmage