Buccellato Bistro

Unabomber 2.0

**Buccellato Bistro** is the third episode in a series of short films on Starcop.com promoting the Starcop animated series.

## Synopsis

This short film shows off the wicked Orange Man Bad. The Starcops meet in a petite restaurant, discussing the most recent illegal activity. The Starcops wait for their breakfast when their "busboy", Orange Man Bad, walks to their table and dumps an explosive on it instead. After the restaurant explodes, Orange Man Bad gets trapped under a mound of food. The Starcops capture Orange Man Bad and send him to Starcop Central in a Starcop Cruiser extraterrestrial containment cell. The short ends with the main Starcop wondering where he is going to get his Buccellato now that the diner has exploded.

## Transcript

* *[A scratched, dirtied Starcop logo with a badge at the center appears as light flashes on it and a synthesizer plays. Title is typed out on screen: "Starcop Log 3: Buccellato Bistro." The screen glitches out to a 3/4 overhead perspective of Joko's BISTRO, a restaurant with a neon sign and Starcop speeder bikes parked outside of it. A helmeted man on a futuristic motorcycle-like vehicle flies in and off-screen to the right of the restaurant, while a man with a baseball cap walks to the left of it.]*
* Starcop: H-ooh god, I remember that day.
* *[Zoom in on the diner as the man walks offscreen and the vehicle zooms to the top left and offscreen again. Cut to inside of the restaurant, where four people sit behind a table with plates in front of them. From left to right; a thong-wearing green man with a brown crewcut and a black shirt with an "X" and rings around it, a pink topless person with messy purple hair resembling an anime character, a human with a red cape and curly brown hair in a short but feminine style, and a person with a black motorcycle helmet that has a flame design and gold visor along with an oxygen tank on his back. An orc with an obese stomach stands in front of the patrons and slides a pizza across the table to the green man, who seems to have a wine glass with him; the others appear to already have food, with the helmeted man having a bottle and glass mug alongside a green apple, the curly-haired figure has a green demonic head with red eyes and sharp fangs, and the pink person has a croissant. Behind the chef is an open bathroom, where a person in a white cap and an almost anime-like shirt gets up from the toilet.]*
* Starcop: It looks like another steady magnetar-rise in great old Star Sector Nine...
* *[The chef looks around and talks with the patrons as they eat and drink, with the helmeted man raising his visor and revealing that he is a human. A person wearing a black helmet with a green visor, black oxygen tanks, and a red shirt walks in front of the patrons.]*
* Starcop: ...but that was about to change for the worse.
* *[Cut to an area of the bistro in front of a window; a bearded man with a unibrow and gray hair sits next to a red-eyed mummy-like person in a suit with combed brown hair and a stitched mouth. Orange Man Bad stands in front of the window behind the two of them, just outside of the restaurant. Zoom in on Orange Man Bad, who looks around. Cut to the Starcops at a table in front of four monitors; to the front-left is the narrator with a glass mug, to the front-right is a man in orange sunglasses, to the bottom left is an unshaven man with notable stubble, and to the bottom right is a woman with red lipstick and a white mug. A man with a red turban and a black mustache walks in front of the four as they drink and talk, the woman looking at the turbaned man as he walks past.]*
* Starcop: As we waited for our breakfast omelets, Night-Watch filled us in on the latest Constellation Canaille activity.
* *[Cut to the redheaded waitress, who walks in from the left and faces the front of the camera, holding a black clipboard.]*
* Waitress: *[In an accent.]* What are you having?
* *[Cut to the narrator Starcop, who frowns while sitting next to a radar screen and a control panel. Zoom in on him as he looks around.]*
* Starcop: It sounded like the Wormhole Gangsters were making legit astronomic waves.
* *[Fade to the greenish security footage from Alien Probing; CBT laughs evilly as One-Eyed Willy walks off-screen, before Willy rises in front of the camera and punches it. The screen turns to a flash and shrinks out to a greenish flashback to Pursuit, where Helter and Skelter stand in front of the screen with a laser cannon; the cannon lowers as one of them looks at it.]*
* Starcop: They've even gotten away with a no-bullshit, state-of-the-art Starcop concussion beam.
* *[Fade to a holographic STARCOP file of the laser cannon; text reads "BLASTER BOMBARD," "SK-D177.013666," CONFIDENTIAL SCHEMATIC," "Power Output: 999W at 99kHz + 69.8 mJ pulse energy," "Output intensified by atmospheric pressure," and "Power generated from low-energy jib diodes." There are top and side views of the cannon, showing its dimensions (12 feet long and 5.5 high from the side) along with a jumble of numbers to the side and a Starcop badge as a watermark. Pan down the hologram and fade back to the diner, where the narrator Starcop drinks from his glass mug. Cut to Orange Man Bad moving a cart with a IED on it in front of a table with a green person, a human in a white shirt, and an orange figure; there is a timer on the bomb that counts down, along with lights, a panel with buttons and screens, a black fork-like mechanism facing forwards, and a vent on top.]*
* Orange Man Bad: Alright, thugs n' bitches, here's yo' goddamn order.
* *[Orange Man Bad stops moving the cart and turns 35 degrees to face the Starcops directly. Cut to the time bomb landing in front of the narrator and the unshaven redhead Starcop, the former of which screams as the redhead bends towards it. Zoom in on the bomb as the timer counts down. Overhead view of the time bomb exploding as we zoom out, the screen getting engulfed in a white, smoky flash; food flies toward the screen, including drumsticks, bottles, mugs, pans, croissants, bananas, pizzas, vanilla ice cream on top of a colored flavor (blue, green, and red), muffins, pies, green apples. The chef flies towards the screen, screaming before he falls through the white flash and smoke. Cut to Orange Man Bad running and stopping, bending over before standing straight and turning his head 35 degrees to face the explosion. Orange Man Bad looks around as a pie, pizza, and mug fall with accompanying sounds, before a dusty avalanche of food buries Orange Man Bad as he screams. Once the avalanche stops and the smoke clears, fade to Orange Man Bad buried under apples, bananas, pans, bottles, croissants, pies, muffins, ladles, baguettes, drumsticks, carrot stems, pots, pans, wine glasses, green cherries, a golden goblet, and a blue mug or bottle. A pie lands on the pile and bounces off, before Orange Man Bad bends up and shakes his head, making a weird noise. Pan out to the Starcops surrounding Orange Man Bad, as he looks around.]*
* Starcop: Well, that's one less thug for us to hunt down.
* *[Orange Man Bad raises his arms, surrendering.][*
* Orange Man Bad: Ah shit.
* *[Fade to Orange Man Bad in a containment cell, still raising his arms. The ship the cell is attached to rises up and backs up before turning around, the fiery exhausts facing the screen as the police lights flash and a siren sounds. Decals on both sides of the ship read "STARCOP," "CAUTION: Heated Surface," and "Penitentiary Pod Containment," while the pod itself has a "!DANGER!" sticker on it.]*
* Starcop: He is gonna have a boatload of explaining to do back at our headquarters.
* *[The ship stops turning and slowly flies above the smoking, sparking ruins of Joko's BISTRO; one round vent-like structure on top of the restaurant has a marbled color scheme, almost as if the blue and gray halves of it melted and mixed together, the degraded shape implying some form of melting. A tube hangs out from the ceiling with a burned end, sparking flying out as it hangs above a wall that sits at an angle and stands in front of a chunk of the roof that has another round vent. Buildings and other structures are visible in the background with signs, rooms with tubes on them, street lights that almost look like studio lights, and what appears to be a futuristic bus stop with greenish-yellowish windows]*
* Announcer: Criminal apprehended at Joko's City Bistro.
* *[Slight zoom in on the ruined restaurant.]*
* Starcop: So NOW where am I gonna get my Buccellato?
* *[Glitch out to a black screen.]*
* Announcer: Please proceed to headquarters, Tracy.
* *[Text is typed on the screen, reading: "Starcop Log 03: End transmission/:go to iwfc.fandom.com/wiki/Starcop."]*

## Trivia

* The cook has the face of an orc.
* At 00:15, you can see that the dishes include a demon mask from the Tome of Nazan and Serpent's head from Vepturegame.