Asherpate's cars series 4 ep 8: Asherpate's behavior card day

This is Asherpate's behavior card day. Jeff Gorvette gets diamond and Chick Hicks gets black (but sadly, Chick escaped the Abstract Thought before the 1998 Florida 500). Takes place in 1996, but Asherpate was born 12 years later in 2008. Lee Weathers is the oldest and Jeff Gorvette is the youngest.

## Transcript

Ned Carrett: Hello! Today is behavior card day.

* Diamond means graduation
* Gold means 10 years off
* Silver means 5 years off
* Bronze means a year off
* Rainbow means 10 months off
* Ferrari red means 5 months off
* Blue means 4 months off
* Green means 3 months off
* Yellow means 2 months off
* Purple means a month off
* Light blue means 4 weeks off
* Pink means 3 weeks off
* Cyan means 2 weeks off
* Crimson means a week off
* Lime means 5 days off
* Medium blue means a day off
* White means nothing
* Tan means a talk after school
* Red means detention for 5 minutes
* Light gray means detention for 30 minutes
* Medium gray means detention for 1 hour
* Dark gray means detention permanently
* Gun metal means suspension for 1 month
* Devil Red means suspension for 3 months
* Skull Card means suspension for 5 months
* and Black means going to Abstract Thought forever

Jeff Gorvette: ***YEAH! I GOT DIAMOND! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***

Ned Carrett: THAT'S RIGHT JEFF GORVETTE! YOU ARE ASHERPATE'S GOD! GO TO KEN SQUIER'S OFFICE AND MAKE HIM (Dolphin Censor) PROUD! ENJOY YOUR GRADUATION!

Dale Earnhardt and The King: Aw yeah! We got gold!

Ned Carrett: That's right Dale Earnhardt and The King! Dale, you are Asherpate’s favorite Gen 3 racer, and The King, your Asherpate's favorite Gen 2 racer. Go to Ken Squier's office and enjoy your 10 years off.

Bill, Dale, Cal, Rowley, Darrell, Chuck, W.J, Crusty, Doc, Ken, Jet, Junior, Bobby, Murray, Haul, Darren, Johnny, Kraig, Ponchy, Klint, Billy, and Gerald Yes. We all got silver.

Ned Carrett: That's right you guys. Doc, your Asherpate's best Gen 1 racer. Go to Ken Squier's office and enjoy your 5 years off.

DuPont pitties and Ray Reverham Not too bad. We got bronze.

Ned Carrett: That's right godly DuPont. You guys all rock. Go to Ken Squier's office right now for the reward and enjoy your year off.

GM Goodwrench pitties and crew chief and Gask-its pitties and crew chief: Yes. We got rainbow.

Ned Carrett: That's right GM Goodwrench and Gask-its. You guys rock. Go to Ken Squier's office right now for the reward and enjoy your 10 months off.

Lee Weathers and Thomas Tireson: Oh wow. We got Ferrari red.

Ned Carrett: That's right Gerald and Thomas. Go to Ken Squier's office and enjoy your 5 months off.

A.J Foyt, Mario Andretti, and Cale Yarblowgh: Nice. We got blue.

Ned Carrett: That's right A.J, Mario and Cale. Go to Ken Squier's office and enjoy your 4 months off.

Rex White and Charles Johnson: Awesome. We got green.

Ken Squier: That's right Charles Johnson and and Rex White. Go to Ken Squeirs office and enjoy your 3 months off.

Thomas Tanrev: Cool! I got yellow.

Ned Carrett: That's right Thomas Tanrev. Go to Ken Squier's office and enjoy your 2 months off.

Ernie, Ivan, Floyd, and Darrell: Neat. We got purple

Ned Carrett: That's right Ernie Gearson, Ivan Yoder, Floyd Mulvihill, and Darrell Draggered. Go to Ken Squier's office and enjoy your 1 month off.

Larry Smith: Not too bad. I got light blue.

Ned Carrett: That's right Larry Smith. Go to Ken Squier's office and enjoy your 4 weeks off.

James Robson: I got pink.

Ned Carrett: That's right James Robson. Go to Ken Squier's office and enjoy your 3 weeks off.

Kenny Shiftright: Decent. I got cyan.

James Cleanair: Gask its! I got cyan too.

Ned Carrett: That's right Kenny Shiftright and James Cleanair. Go to Ken Squier's office and enjoy your 2 weeks off.

Ruby Oaks: We got crimson.

Mark Landis: Yeah.

Ned Carrett: That's right Ruby and Mark. Go to Ken Squier's office and enjoy your 1 week off.

Ernie Swervan and Donnie Carllison: Pretty good. We got lime.

Ned Carrett: That's right Ernie Swervan and Donnie Carllison. Go to Ken Squier's office and enjoy your 5 days off.

Team Dinoco and all the RS townies: Wow. We all got medium blue.

Ned Carrett: That's right all of you. Go to Ken Squier's office and enjoy your day off.

Alloy Wilson: I got white.

Ned Carrett: Ok Alloy Wilson. Go back to your seat.

Nick Charger: Oh no. I got tan.

Ned Carrett I'm sorry Nick. You are improving your behavior and you're not crying much anymore. We will just have a talk after school. We will just have a talk after school.

Andrew Axler: Aw come on. I got red.

Ned Carrett: That's right Andrew Axler. You ruined your family legacy. Go to Ken Squier's office and you have detention for just five minutes.

Ron Blaster and Jonathan Melter: Oh no! we got light gray!

Ned Carrett (angry): That's right Ron Blaster and Jonathan Melter! Ron, you're Asherpate's worst Gen 4 racer! Go to Ken Squier's office and get those thirty minutes you idiots!

Danny and Alex: What? We have gray.

Ned Carrett (angry): THAT'S RIGHT DUMMY WILSON AND ALEX QUIT! GO TO KEN SQUIER'S OFFICE RIGHT NOW AND GET THE DETENTION OF AN HOUR!!!!!

Kyle Trackson: HOW DARE YOU GIVE ME THE DARK GRAY CARD!

Ned Carrett (angry): **THAT'S RIGHT LEEROY JENKINS! YOU'RE THE WORST GEN 1 RACER! GO TO KEN SQUIER'S OFFICE AND GET THE PERMANENT DETENTION!!!!!**

Sammy Smelter (crying): NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I GOT GUN METAL!

Ned Carrett (angry): **THAT'S RIGHT SANDY SMELTER! YOU'RE RUST-EZE'S WORST RACER! YOU POOPED SO MAN TIMES WITHOUT GOING TO THE BATHROOM! GO TO KEN SQUIER'S OFFICE AND GET THE SUSPENSION OF A MONTH!!!!!**

Drive Parkerson (crying): **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I GOT DEVIL RED!**

Ned Carrett (angry): ***THAT'S RIGHT DRATS PRANKERSON! YOU'RE ASHERPATE'S WORST GEN 2 RACER! GO TO KEN SQUIER'S OFFICE AND GET THE SUSPENSION OF THREE MONTHS!!!!!***

Rusty and Eugene (crying): **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WE GOT SKULL CARD!**

Ned Carrett: ***THAT'S RIGHT RUSTED WALL LESS AND EUGENE CRAPBURESKI ! GO TO KEN SQUIER'S OFFICE AND GET THE SUSPENSION OF FIVE MONTHS!!!!!***

Chick Hicks: I got black, can I get another chance?

Ned Carrett (angry): ***ABSOLUTELY NOT CHICKEN HICKS,YOU ARE THE WORST RACER EVER! YOU WRECKED OTHER CARS, YOU FLIPPED THE KING IN THE 1988 FLORIDA 500, YOU CAUSED BOBBY CARLLISON'S HARD CRASH IN THE 1987 N2O COLA 400, AND YOU DETEST EVERY SINGLE RACER BY FAR THAT ASHERPATE LIKES! GO TO KEN SQUIER’S OFFICE AND GET (Popeye toot) INTO THE ABSTRACT THOUGHT FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***

Chick Hicks (angry 30000 times worse than Ned Carrett): **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! WHO GAVE ME THE BLACK CARD?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!**

(at Ken Squier’s office)

Ken Squier: Hello Chick. What are you for.

Chick Hicks: I got a black card!

Ken Squier (angry): ***OH! OH! OH! CHICKEN HICKS! HOW DARE YOU GET A BLACK CARD! THAT’S IT! YOU ARE GOING TO ABSTRACT THOUGHT FOREVER!***

Jeff Gorvette: ***THAT'S RIGHT! I WILL BRING YOU TO MY HAULER FOR HIM TO TAKE YOU TO LAS VEGAS AND I'LL PUSH YOU INTO THE ABSTRACT THOUGHT!!!!!!!!!!***

Chick Hicks: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE AGAIN!

Jeff Gorvette: WELL, YOU'RE THE WORST RACER IN THE PISTON CUP SERIES! (takes Chick to his hauler)

Jeff's hauler: Hey! You brought a mean racer?

Jeff Gorvette: Yep! CHICKEN HICKS!

Chick Hicks: NO! I DON'T WANT TO TURN INTO SHAPE AND COLOR AGAIN!

Jeff Gorvette: TO LATE! I'M CLOSING THE DOOR OF MY HAULER!

Jeff's hauler: Ok! We got the mean green car! Let's take him to Las Vegas!

Jeff Gorvette: Yeah! It's where the Abstract Thought is!

(Jeff's hauler takes Chick to Las Vegas)

Jeff's hauler: We're here!

Jeff Gorvette: Ok! I'll open your door!

Chick Hicks: UGH! THIS CAN'T BE! THIS REALLY CAN'T BE!

Jeff Gorvette: WELL, YOU GOT BLACK, AND I GOT DIAMOND! (takes Chick out of his hauler)

Chick Hicks: DON'T DO THIS JERK GORVETTE! I'LL TAKE AWAY YOUR DIAMOND! YOU'RE GETTING BLACK!

Jeff Gorvette: NO! YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY DIAMOND, AND DON'T BRING BLACK TO ME!

Chick Hicks: OH YEAH! THEN WHAT WILL I DO!

Jeff Gorvette: NOTHING! YOU'RE GONNA BE IN THE ABSTRACT THOUGHT FOREVER! (pushes Chick Hicks to the Abstract Thought)

Chick Hicks: CURSE YOU!

(Jeff goes back to his hauler, and they leave)

Chick Hicks: Well, guess I'm gonna be lost!

Abstract Thought worker #1: There you are, Chick!

Chick Hicks: Ok! Let me out of here!

Abstract Thought workers: NO! YOU'RE GONNA STAY IN THE ABSTRACT THOUGHT FOREVER!

(Worker #1 closes the door)

Chick Hicks: It's gonna get creepy again!

(Abstract Thought turns on, and everything starts to float)

Chick Hicks: Oh no! I don't want to go through the 4 stages again! (turns into a Picasso-esque blocky structure)

Chick Hicks: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M NON-OBJECTIVE AGAIN! THIS IS THE 1ST STAGE LIKE EUGENE CARBURESKI TOLD ME! HOW CAN I GET OUT OF HERE!

(Chick begins to break up and fall apart)

Chick Hicks: OH NO! I'M IN DECONSTRUCTION AGAIN! THIS IS THE 2ND STAGE! I NEED TO PUT BACK TOGETHER AND ESCAPE BEFORE STAGE 3!

(Chick Hicks puts his pieces back together)

Chick Hicks: TIME TO GET OUT OF HERE!

(But it's too late. The screen squeezes on him)

(Chick becomes a 2-D drawing)

Chick Hicks: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I'M TO LATE! NOW I'M GOING NOWHERE! MUST FIND A WAY TO GET BACK!

(Chick climbs up to the back door, but can't fit)

Chick hicks: UGH! I CAN'T FIT! (turns into a HTB bank)

Chick Hicks: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SHAPE AND COLOR AGAIN! THIS IS NON-FIGURATIVITY! THE LAST STAGE!

(the back door closes)

Peter Oilrod: Oh! Hey, Bank!

Chick Hicks: Hey! The name is Chick Hicks! We're gonna get stuck here forever!

Peter Oilrod: Yeah! This is a nightmare!

(Meanwhile in Jeff's hauler)

Jeff Gorvette: I can't believe I got Diamond! If Chick Hicks takes away Diamond from me and gives me black, I'll cry so hard. But now, I'm happy I got Diamond, so Ken Squier says that I'll play a game or watch the Piston Cup races that came before! Can I play a game?

Jeff's hauler: Sure!

Jeff Gorvette: Yes! I'll play the Piston Cup Simulator!