Your Age

Song by Rina Sawayama

## Visualiser

"**Your Age**" is a song recorded by Rina Sawayama, featured as the seventh track off her sophomore album *Hold the Girl*, which was released on 16 September 2022 through Dirty Hit. The song runs 2 minutes and 54 seconds, and was written by Sawayama along with Lauren Aquilina and Marcus Andersson, and produced by the latter two along with Clarence Clarity.

## Background

Written by Sawayama along with Lauren Aquilina and Marcus Andersson, and "massively" inspired by Nine Inch Nails, "Your Age" was the last song written for *Hold the Girl*. "I wanted [the album] to have this really dark moment. It's a pretty direct message," she wrote for Apple Music.

## Composition

"Your Age" is a nu metal-inspired industrial rock track featuring bhangra elements, with a banjo riff and "distorted club beats". Writing for *Evening Standard*, Davyd Smyth noted that "Your Age" mixes country banjo and an electro rock "Linkin Park-style" chorus, and "appears to be an angry reappraisal of a past relationship." Max Freedman from *Paste* magazine felt that the song builds toward "digital blasting that sounds arena-ready and like a long-dormant volcano exploding," and Sawayama's studio-manipulated, low-pitched snarling evokes "dissociative rage." The song was compared with American industrial rock band Nine Inch Nails. Writing for *Loud and Quiet*, Dafydd Jenkins felt that "Your Age" sounds a little like the band's song "Closer", "more concerned with the 'parents suck' strain of '90s metal culture than it is about animalistic sex. Its main takeaway is a sense of heretical fun." Additionally, Sawayama's vocals were described as "angry", with Sam Franzini from *The Line of Best Fit* writing that "never has [Sawayama] sounded so angry at its subject, spitting out 'I survived the social suicide' like she can’t hold it back anymore."

The song, which opens with a banjo riff, sees Sawayama "attempting to process an early trauma". Lyrically, it is about the anger that she had towards the adults that were around her during her youth. "Now that I'm an adult myself, I think I can legitimately be quite angry towards the adults of my youth, because I just never would have done things that way," she stated. "I think when you get older, you look back at certain things you've experienced and the way the adults handled it, and you kind of can't believe it." Johnny Kwho, writing for Sputnikmusic, stated that "Your Age", along with "Holy (Til You Let Me Go)", suggest abusive treatment from an older figure in a religious institution", and Jordan Currie from *Exclaim!* remarked that the song explores "the anger and hurt over the damage caused by an older partner atop plucking banjo and distorted club beats." Abigail Firth from *Dork* magazine interpreted that the song unpacks "the feeling of being ostracised."

## Critical reception

Lindsay Zoladz, writing for *The New York Times*, felt that the song might be addresing a "lack of parental compassion", and proves "again that Sawayama is the rare contemporary artist who’s managed to make effective use of nü-metal."

## Lyrics

Not a secret, not a problem

Not a symptom or cure

Not a villain, not a mistake

Not in the eyes of God

Not a weakness, not a failure

Not a saviour, oh, no

Not a secret, not a problem (Problem, problem)

Ayy, yeah, ayy, yeah

I ain't a number you can ever divide

You crossed the line by multiplying the lies

I survived the social suicide

Ayy, yeah, ayy, yeah

Decisions were not mine

You closed me off, a jail personified

Yeah, I survived a social suicide

'Cause now that I'm your age, I just can't imagine

Why did you do it? What the hell were you thinking?

'Cause I'm not a secret and I'm not a problem

Why did you do it? What the hell were you thinking?

'Cause now that I'm your age

(Not a secret, not a problem, not a secret, not a martyr)

'Cause now that I'm your age

(Not a mistake, not a weakness, not a failure, not a problem)

'Cause now that I'm your age

(I survived the social suicide, not a secret, not a problem)

'Cause now that I'm your age

(Yeah, I survived the social suicide, not a failure, not a martyr)

You know what?

We all have a monster inside of us

But we have a choice, we get to decide

But you

You fucked with my life

Ayy, yeah (Ayy, yeah)

Ayy, yeah, a-a-a-ayy, yeah

(That will never be me, yeah, I can see you clearly)

(Yeah, you better fear me, yeah, you better fear me)

A-a-a-ayy, yeah (Ayy, yeah)

Ayy, yeah (Ayy, yeah)

(That will never be me, yeah, I can see you clearly)

(Yeah, you better fear me, yeah, you better fear me)

Ayy, yeah, a-a-a-ayy, yeah

A-a-a-ayy, yeah, (Ayy, yeah)

(That will never be me, yeah, I can see you clearly)

(Yeah, you better fear me, yeah, you better fear me)

## References

1. ↑ Rina Sawayama [@rinasonline] (29 June 2022). "Rina Sawayama on Instagram". Retrieved on June 30, 2022. “quote=signed so many Hold The Girl CDs !!!! gonna sign lots of vinyls soon too 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 it looks stunning omg 😭😭😭 my baby 😭😭😭”
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 Rina Sawayama (16 September 2022). "*Hold the Girl* by Rina Sawayama on Apple Music". Apple Music (US). Dirty Hit. Retrieved on September 16, 2022.
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 Jenkins, Dafydd (12 September 2022). "Rina Sawayama - Hold The Girl - Album Review". *Loud and Quiet*. Retrieved on September 25, 2022.
4. ↑ Hansen, Susan (13 September 2022). "Album Review: Rina Sawayama - Hold The Girl". *Gigwise*.
5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 French-Morris, Kate (16 September 2022). "Marcus Mumford confronts his demons, Rina Sawayama is Dr Frankenstein – the week’s best albums". *The Telegraph*. Retrieved on September 25, 2022.
6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 Firth, Abigail (15 September 2022). "Rina Sawayama - Hold The Girl". *Dork*. Retrieved on September 25, 2022.
7. ↑ Smyth, David (16 September 2022). "Rina Sawayama - Hold the Girl review: An enjoyably unpredictable world". *Evening Standard*. Retrieved on September 25, 2022.
8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 Freedman, Max (14 September 2022). "Rina Sawayama: 'Hold the Girl' Album Review". *Paste*. Retrieved on September 25, 2022.
9. ↑ Franzini, Sam (15 September 2022). "Rina Sawayama: Hold The Girl review - sharpens her sound while leaving room for experimentation". *The Line of Best Fit*. Retrieved on September 25, 2022.
10. ↑ Kwho, James (19 September 2022). "Review: Rina Sawayama - Hold The Girl". Sputnikmusic. Retrieved on September 25, 2022.
11. ↑ Currie, Jordan (13 September 2022). "Rina Sawayama Can't Hold Back on 'Hold the Girl'". *Exclaim!*. Retrieved on September 25, 2022.
12. ↑ Zoladz, Lindsay (15 September 2022). "For the Gloriously Over-the-Top Rina Sawayama, Less Is Less". *The New York Times*. Archived from the original on September 15, 2022. Retrieved on September 25, 2022.