Notities

**(This page is not for you, loser, go away.)**

Mijn computer zal stuklopen, net als mijn wil om te leven, dus ik zet hieronder ideëen, documenten, en scripts neer die ik niet in bestaande pagina's kan stouwen.

## Pokemon Moon avontuur

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

(stripje over mijn spelen)

?: Welcome to Alola, Mir Yusuf. Looking at your complexion, you're obviously from the Japan-inspired Kanto region.

M: Funny. Every one of you is suspiciously pale for an islander. Just like my mom.

?: Choose your starter -oh, you already went for the cat. You'll love his ev- oh, you're already level 30. Wait, it's still a Litten?

M: I'm not ownin' what's obviously a guy in a cat costume as a pet, I'm 10! This thing's stayin' a fetus foirever!

M: I caught a Meowth! I'll call you "sexy Meowth".

(can't use that name)

M: Huh? Uh.. Hm..

M: Then I'll.. darn it.. I'm playin' this game in 2022, are the multiplayer servers even alive anymoire?.. Hmm..

M: Gay.. Meowth. Hehe.

M: WHAT THAT WORKS!? NO! (Meowth kijkt tevreden)

M: Come on Gay Meowth, Gay Persian (meowth kijkt jaloers naar meowth dat persian wordt)!

M: Route 6.. "also known as "straight street""..

M: Gay Meowth, Gay Persian? Come on I sed!

m/p: Meeowww (worden tegen gehouden door ontzichtbare barriere)

## Pokemon X avontuur

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

(stripje over mijn spelen)

grote man: Thank you, Mir Yusuf, for kicking my Pokémon's ass. It reminded me how much I love Pokémon somehow.

ik: Another nonsensical Pokémon storyline completed.

(floette komt uit de lucht)

grote man: !

grote man: floette..!

(beginnen te zoenen en alles)

professor: this is thanks to you, mir yusuf.

professor: thanks to you, this man whose age we don't care to explain, finally reunited with-

(gezoen op achtergrond, mir yusuf kijkt niet blij)

ik: (denkt) I'm so unhappy..

ik (closeup): ..all of the time.

## Biografieen powerpoint/animatie met muziek

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Niet deze versie in de link, de juiste heb je op je computer. Probeer deze gedeeltelijk instrumentaal te maken met Splitter.ai, want die vrouwenstem is cringe en alleen nodig als opener.

De video betrekt de lijst met "Bad Boy" tropes en bespreeks alleen figuren die moorden hebben gepleegd:

* Damy
* Marie Kanker
* The Vampire (Edd)
* Dennim
* Jonathan (Jimmy's vader)
* Pezhman Fārsi
* Pezhman Pārsi

* Mr. Miss
	+ A mob boss who prefers to subject people and Pokémon to prolongued torture opposed to killing them, but not everyone has the strength to endure his tactics.
	+ Killed: 5000+ / Adults: circa 200 /Children: 0 / Animals: 5000+
	+ **Maimed (who survived):** 1.000.000+

* Mir Yusuf
	+ Mir Yusuf was taken in by a street gang as a child.
	+ **Killed:** 100+ / Adults: 100+ /Children: circa 5 / Animals: 0
	+ **Maimed (who survived):** 1500+
	+ **POINT REDUCTION** >> Product of the Environment; forced by an (adult) authority figure who saved his life.
	+ **POINT REDUCTION** >> Remorseful;
		- Did not fall back.

* Mowgli (realistisch)
	+ Redesigned Mowgli is a wolfchild that acts like one. He becomes the leader of his family's pack as an adult.
	+ Killed: 700+ / Adults: 1 /Children: 0 /Animals: 700+
	+ **Maimed (who survived):** 1000+
	+ **POINT REDUCTION** >> Instinctual criminal; was taken in by wolves as an infant.

* Kieran
	+ Kieran is a demonic animal that has taken on the form of a human.
	+ **Killed:** 1000+ / Adults: circa 50 /Children: circa 10 /Animals: 1000+
	+ **Maimed (who survived):** 0
	+ **POINT REDUCTION** >> Instinctual criminal; is a transformed beast of little intelligence.

* Rothbart
	+ Aron Rothbart is the descendant of murderers and violent conquerors.
	+ **Killed:** 100+ / Adults: 100+ /Children: 0 /Animals: 0
	+ **Maimed (who survived):** 0
	+ **POINT REDUCTION** >> Majority of casualties were not made with the predetermined intent to kill.
	+ **POINT INCREASE** >> Not remorseful.

* The Once-ler
	+ The Once-ler, or Leronce, had to fight other children for food and necessities in his poverty-stricken hometown. As an adult, he enjoys hunting and shows no empathy for animals in general.
	+ **Killed:** 10.000+ / Adults: 0 /Children: circa 10 /Animals: 50.000+
	+ **Maimed (who survived):** 100+
	+ **POINT INCREASE** >> Not remorseful.

* Todd L'Woxy
	+ Killed: 500+ / Adults: circa half /Children: circa half <<< (animals)
	+ **Maimed (who survived):** 20+
	+ Todd is a fox who lives in a world with fellow sentient animals, who he eats.

* Huffy Blow
	+ Huffy is a wolf who lives in a world with fellow sentient animals, who she eats.
	+ Killed: 600+ / Adults: circa half /Children: circa half <<< (animals)
	+ **Maimed (who survived):** 0

* Lancer
	+ Lancer kills all the residents of Dark World in the bad ending of UnRelated.
	+ Killed: 1000+ / Adults: 0 /Children: circa 10 /Animals: 0
	+ **Maimed (who survived):** 0
	+ **POINT INCREASE** >> Not remorseful.

* Daisuke
	+ Daisuke turns insane and wishes for features and attributes to help him go on a rampage.
	+ Killed: 10.000.000+ / Adults: 7.000.000+ /Children: 3.000.000+ /Animals: 80.000+
	+ **Maimed (who survived):** 30.000+
	+ **POINT REDUCTION** >> Product of the Environment; was chased around the world for days on end.
	+ **POINT INCREASE** >> Not remorseful.

* Dr. Jacob
	+ Killed: 1 / Adults: 1 /Children: 0 /Animals: 0
	+ Dr. Jacob is a scientist who wanted to create the perfect superhuman, using whoever his girlfriend was at the time. Despite his inhumane practises, only one person succumbed to them.
	+ **POINT REDUCTION** >> Remorseful;
		- Kept Chris' lethally dangerous offspring.

## Manfred Mink

### Newlyn helpt Judy

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Newlyn: (papier in hand) Let's see. I still have to find a hare. What about you?

Judy: (papier in hand) Dunno, didn't write anything down.

Honden: Hey, bloodmutt! You missed one?

Newlyn: Missed what?

Honden: Your prey! (judy) You not gonna grab it? You betraying your human?

Newlyn: Never mind that hunting intelligent, sentient animals in this anthropomorphized world is already dubious, this is my friend and our colleague. She's a hu-

Honden: Oh no, it's a ferret sympathizer.

Honden: (benaderen) If you're not interested, we'll take it off your hands.

Newlyn: But she's a hunting dog!

Honden: Here, little sock..

Newlyn: Back off, mouth breathers!

(bijt hand)

Honden: Yeow!

Honden: We-..! We're calling animal services! You're done!

(Judy boeide het niet, maar gaat langzaam tegen Newlyn aanzitten)

Judy: My hero.

## EENEHIGHSCHOOL

### Onbekende script waar de Eds Kevin's portomonnee zoeken

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

dd:
as you both might know, flora enjoys human company and appreciate it when you talk to them! it makes them grow, isnt that just fascinating?
do you want to give it a try ed?

e:
HELLO FLOWER. (bloem waait naar de righting van zijn geschreeuw)

dd:
no ed, not like that. be gentle.

e:
HELLO FLOWER. (bloem waait naar de righting van zijn geschreeuw)

dd:
listen, you need to..

e:
HELLO! (bloem waait naar de righting van zijn geschreeuw)

dd:
Please, for the love of..

e:
PLEASED TO MEET YOU. (schud handen met het blaadje en trekt zo de plant eruit)

dd:
LAURA! (valt flauw)

y:
Yep, im outta here. (loopt weg)

(eddy loopt langs het hek)
y:
how is it possible to lose so many braincells when being with the smartest kid alive.

(langs hek)
k:
WHERE IS IT, WHERES MY WALLET.

n:
when did you still have it.

k:
in the forest, i think! man, there was 500 bucks in there, dad's gonna kill me! help me find it, maybe its in those trashcans, you climb in!

n:
uh. okey?

(eddy in extase, rent snel terug)
(shot met edd die dode Laura water geeft, ed stopt zijn hoofd ertussen; paddestoelen groeien)

dd:
dear laura. still so young. but the world wasn't fair to you!

e:
ha ha.

dd:
..you shall be missed.
(loopt weg met pot)

y:
GUYS, THIS IS OUR CHANCE... (houd Ed stevig vast, ruikt, duwt hem weg en houd edd vast)

y:
GUYS, THIS IS OUR CHANCE, WE HAVE TO HURRY!

e:
what is it? A PUPPY SALE?

y:
NO, ITS..

e:
BABY HAMSTER SALE?
(eddy stompt hem in het gezicht en focust zich naar edd)

y:
I JUST HEARD KEVIN LOST HIS WALLET AND THERES STILL 500 BUCKS IN THERE!

dd:
wow!

y:
I JUST CANT GET ANY BETTER!

dd:
INFINITE JAWBREAKERS, WE SHOULD TOTALLY FIND THAT WALLET AND STEAL THAT 500.

y:
MAN, WE SHOULD TOTALLY FIND...(kijkt naar edd)
Hey, you're starting to learn.

dd:
I just don't care anymore, Eddy. (daarna edd en eddy wijzen naar elkaar met een lach)

(edd loopt langs het scherm en rolt met zijn ogen)

y:
okey, lets get ready for a walk.

e:
you'll need it.
(eddy slaat hem weer in gezicht, maar blijft lachen)

y:
hurry up before kevin finds it first.

(volgende shot waar ze in hun wandel kleren zijn)
y:
ready?

dd:
its pretty sunny today, don't for get your sunscr.. (eddy sleept hun beide met een snelle sprint naar het bos, en duwd daar gelijk bomen omver)

y:
where is it, where is it!

dd:
please eddy, its national tree day today.

e:
it is? then we must free the trees from the sandy, dirty clutches of the ground.
BE FREE, FLY! FLY! (rukt nu ook bomen uit de grond)

(shot van kevin, met bomen in de achtergrond die verdwijnen en in de lucht worden gegooid)
k:
..eddy.

(terug in het bos, edd zucht, maar ziet dan kettingen op de grond, pakt die en er zit een beren klem aan)
dd:
ED, EDDY, i think it would be a good idea if we left right now.

y:
i don't think so, i still haven't found the wallet. (gooit boom) Lumpy, what about you?

e:
(onder een boom) no, nothing here, eddy.

dd:
fellas, you don't understand.. (ziet meer berenvallen overal)
..THIS PLACE IS INVESTED WITH TRAPS. we should go back before one of us loses his legs!

y:
(in de verte) for 500 bucks, that's worth it.
(edd zucht)

y:
raah, where is it! (komt terug gelopen met berenklemmen aan zijn rug)

k:
HEY DORKS.
(iedereen kijkt omhoog)

k:
lookin for this? (zwaait met briefje) LOSERS. (loopt weg)

y:
..RAAAH, how did he get it before we did!

e:
i bet kevin has the power to talk to little furry forest creatures and they gave the wallet to their master..

dd:
it probably was never in the forest to begin with. now, please, can we get out of here?

y:
whatever, lets play some chess, our plot's gone down the drain anyway. (ed en eddy lopen snel weg)

dd:
wait for me. (komt niet vooruit)
whats this? (ziet dat zijn broekspijp in berenklauw zit)
oh shoot, just my luck.. ED! EDDY!? (trekt, het schiet los en zijn voet komt in een andere berenklem)
YAAAAAARGH!
(de bouten zijn roestig, dus de klem zit niet helemaal in zijn been).
oh dear, oh dear, oh my, ED!! EDDY!! ASSISTANCE!
(de klem gaat meer dicht)
SOMEONE!
(Marie komt aangelopen)
Marie? MARIE, HELP ME!...wait..no (Marie ziet hem en komt op hem af) NEVER MIND, I'M FINE..

m:
i can see that. You look like you need some "YAARGH, ED, EDDY, ASSISANCE, SOMEONE!".

dd:
eh yes..well, could you be a dear and get my friends for me?.id be grateful.

m:
Why, I'm always a dear. but..how about helping you myself? no big deal.

dd:
eh, really?

m:
yeah, im a nice person. im not expecting any kind of reward..
(komt dichterbij en houd de klem vast)
but if you really want to show your gratitude, you could..like..BE MY BOYFRIEND FOR A DAY.

dd:
what?!

m:
your leg isn't worth it? (houd klem vast)

dd:
i..gnn..

m:
if i have to get your dumb friends first, itll be too late. im your only solution.

(edd kijkt naar klem en naar grinnikende marie en heen en terug)
dd:
AL..ALRIGHT...alright...

(marie maakt de klem los en sleurt hem omhoog)
m:
good boyfriend. now first things first, off with that shirt.

dd:
EXCUSE ME?

m:
off with that shirt.

dd:
i cant do that! what will my mother think!

m:
if you dont want to please your girlfriend..(pakt zijn been en een klem)..im afraid the deal is off.

dd:
okey!
..for heavens sake..

(shot met ed en eddy aan het schaken, daarna komt edd lang gesprint in een scater costuum + scratch muziekje als hij langs loopt)
y:
...well, that was confusing.

(edd loopt terug met stoel, ed en eddy kijken naar achter)
y:
Now I'm sure it's not the sigarettes, there it was again.

e:
what was it?

y:
double d..dressed up like a gothic.

dd:
(edd loopt weer langs) im a scater!

y:
ED, i thought you said double was right behind us!

e:
he was!

y:
you know what happens when you leave him alone, he turns into a gothic!

dd:
(edd loopt langs met voetenkrukje) scater!

e:
really, he was, we just ordered him to make us some lasagna!

y:
then who is making the lasagna right now?
(jonny staat daar met lasagna)

y:...and itd better be good!

(edd loopt weer langs met marie op de stoel op zijn rug)
y:
what the?

(ed en eddy lopen achterna, en lopen daarna naast marie)
y:
KANKER, what are ya doing riding double ds back?

m:
double d is my slave for today.

dd:
BUT I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND.

m:
whats the difference.

e:
DOUBLE D, HOW COULD YOU, MARIE KANKER IS A KANKER AND KANKERS ARE EVIL.

(ed en eddy zitten opeens op voetenkruk op edds rug)
y:
yeah, whats the big idea?

m:
i saved him from a certain death. (laat 500 zien) and if you two just get out of my way you can have this.

y:
where did you get that!

m:
i found it in kevins wallet. that boy sure has an ugly ID card. i was going to use it for myself, but i think you are more worth it.

y:
really?

e:
oh happy, successful-for-once day!

y:
so, is there anything we can do for you right now?

m:
just make sure your friend does a good job and dont show your face too often.

(edd valt neer, marie pakt zweepje)
m:
hey, wake up!

y:
stop slacking, furball, she has kevins 500 bucks! and shes giving it to us if you do your best!

e:
(pakt edds hand) IM HELPING. WHERE TO?

...

### Onbekende intro van aflevering met Edd's moeder die niet wil dat hij zijn haar knipt

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

(Edd met schaar in hand)

dd: How about this?

(moeder nee)

dd: This?

(moeder nee)

dd: And this?

(moeder nee)

dd: This, please?

(moeder nee)

dd: Sigh, let's be honest, you wanted a daughter, didn't you?

(bel gaat)

dd: I'll get it.

(krijgt vis tegen zijn smoel)

dd: Aagh..

eddy: YO, DOUBLE D, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?

dd: What do you mean, I answered the door right away.

eddy: WOA, YOUR MOTHER IS HERE? WHAT'S YOUR MOM DOING HERE?

dd: This is my house, Eddy.

eddy: Oh, right.

Hi mrs. Double D's mom.

dd moeder: Eddy.

### Onbekend stuk fanfiction over Ed en Eddy die Edd's dagboek lezen

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

"It's not always best to know best." Ed replied.

"That's deep." Edd said.

"You know what else is deep?" Eddy interrupted.

**"NO."**

Edd raised his hand covering Eddy's face, implying he wasn't interested in hearing any more of his jokes.

While they were waiting in Edd's room, Ed immediatly spotted a little cyan book hidden in the fake skull on the desk, and walked right towards it.

"Eddy, look, Double D washed this book too hot."

"I didn't know Double D had a diary. But I'm not surprised either."

"Just like a girl."

"Yeah. Let's see who he murdered."

Eddy took the book from Ed's hands and started reading the first page:

> *..Greetings Diary, I've been experimenting with my ants this weekend and am very satisfied about the results. Never would I've expected this much succ..*
>
>

"Alright, bored, let's get out of here." Eddy threw the book on the desk and was about to leave, but then Ed grabbed the diary and started to read.

"Wait, Eddy!" Ed said, "I have a real juicy story here!"

> *..Dear Diary, I had a strange dream about me and my mom. As punishment for unconsciously involving my mom in my dreams, I spanked myself afterwards and I liked it.*
>
>

Eddy quickly ran over to Ed's side to read it himself, only to discover Ed's been messing with him.

"How dare you to make Double D interesting! Pff, your sense of humor is worse than mine, Ed." Ed giggled and they both went back to the bathroom door where Edd was still busy.

## AANA

### Annies stelen telefoon Drammers

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

anny: Guys, I stole the Kankers' phones!

ann: Is theft your only revenge tactic?

anny: People do everything on their phones. Just imagine the embarrassing stuff we could blackmail em with!

ann: Anny, who raised you?

anny: Here, Lumpita! You can have Larie's, Double N!

anny: Oh, this is gonna be good!

anny: ...

anny: You're not even gonna have a peek?

ann: It's been wisely password locked.

anny: ...

anny: 1234

ann:...

ann (gelukt): ...

anny: Got anything yet, An?

an: Just 10 GB of illegally downloaded movie torrents, Anny, nothing weird here!

ann: Of the same movie as well..

anny: Darn it..!

anny: Tee's phone is.. really normal too! I would've expected spicy pics or embarrassing Google searches, but it's all car pics, me Photoshopped with cars pics, and.. he's worried about his family, YUCK!

an: You find a spicy car, Double N?

ann: ...

ann:..

anny: "How do I get my girlfriend to choke me"? Larie has a girlfriend now? Open up his pic folder, I wanna see this trailer troll.

(iedereen heel erg vernederd)

ann: Hold on. These are smartphones. What time period does this series play off in..?

(kijken naar telefoon, is slechts een steen met krijt op)

(iedereen geschokt)

an: Are.. are we crazy?

## DISNEY

### socially inept disney prince OCs valentine greetings

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

damy: ...

orson: youre the best at leaving me alone.

zagreus: if you cant handle me at my best, you cant handle me at my worst!

albin: i feel ever more beautiful looking at you.

amadee: you're looking female today!

james (atlantis 2): near-immortality has become a bit less unbearable thanks to you. but not much.

## LITTLE MERMAID 2

### Ursula is trots op haar chagrijnige baby

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

(Baby Orson kijkt naar reflectie)

Ursula: Oh look, Orson has discovered his own face.

(Baby Orson is er niet blij mee)

Ursula: He's getting angry. They grow up so fast.

### Niemand vindt Orson's zangspel leuk

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Melody (zingt): ..My wish came true, my home is now the deep blueeee!

(vissen om hun heen)

Melody: Look at all these fish! That never happened to me on land!

Orson: Well, they can't traverse land.

Melody: Since we have an audience, why don't you play something?

Orson: Sure.

Orson (zingt): ***THE SUFFERING OF THE FLESH-***

(alle vissen + Melody zwemmen weg)

### Orson wordt gevraagd te lachen tijdens familiebezoek

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

*14 panelen*

Melody: Time to go.

Orson: I can't. I have to do.

Melody: To do what?

Orson: ...

(Orson zwemt weg)

Melody: Don't bail on me now, you promised to come this time!

Orson: Don't recall.

Melody: I got a plan to instantly make them like you!

Melody: The greatest form of flattery isn't telling how smart or pretty someone is, but laughing at their jokes! And you know how my aunt Andrina is.

Orson: Sadly. What's the plan here..

Melody: So, next time she tells a joke -and she will- laugh! Show em you're not a "shadowy evil prince of darkness, pain, and crippling vengeance" and got a hearty sense of humor!

Orson: Who're you quoting..? I feel vengeful.

(onderweg naar paleis)

Melody: I'll help you, alright? When you start laughing, I will too. Andrina shouldn't think you're pretending to get on her good side that way.

Orson: Thanks for the sacrifice.

(aan eettafel, iedereen ziet er zwaar depressief uit)

Andrina: What do you call a cheeky fish? A full moonfish! He he!

(Orson kijkt naar Melody)

Orson: Ha ha..!

Orson: Ha ha haha!

(Orson lacht door als een geschifte Disney schurk. Melody doet mee "HOO HOO HOO", als een anime slechterik.)

(Iedereen kijkt zeer verward.)

### Melody wil Orson's kont zien ofzo????

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

*7 panelen*

...

Orson: I'll be right back.

Melody: Are you going to the bathroom?

Orson: Sam! Hold her!

(Sam wikkelt zich om Melody)

Melody: Orson! ORSON!

(Orson zwemt haastig weg)

Melody: Orson, I have a right to know! I am your wife!

(shot van grot, Orson vlucht)

Melody: Orsooooooooooon!

### Orson heeft geen shirt aan en sterft van cringe

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Orson en Melody brengen een romantische nacht door, zij gaat weg om iets te halen, een van haar tantes komt iets brengen, Orson wacht haar op bij de ingang en komt er iets te laat achter dat het Melody niet is.

### Nieuws van zwangerschap

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

*14 panelen*

(in paleis)

Melody: Everyone, I have great news..!

Melody: We're pregnant!

(iedereen kijkt in shock)

Melody: I mean. He isn't, I am.

Triton (naar orson): How DARE you!

Alana: Ew! Ewew!

Melody: Grandpa!

Adella: You let him touch you..!?

Triton: How could you have allowed for this!

Melody: We've been married for 8 years, what do you mean!

Orson (pakt Melody): We're leaving.

Triton: You're not going anywhere! Do you have any idea what people will say, what this means?!

Orson: I can't hear you, Triton.

Orson (bij zijn gezicht): We've already left.

(buiten)

...

Melody: I'm sorry.

Orson: What for. I already knew nobody'd be happy with this, but telling them was the right thing to do.

(toch wel een lievelijke omhelsing en einde ondanks de shitshow)

## MR NICE GUY

### Rothbart doet een voorspelling (tijdens verblijf)

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

*12 panelen*

(in eetkamer, odette komt binnen)

Rothbart: Ah, the princess is finally awa-

Odette (pakt appel): Goodbye.

Rothbart: Sit down, Odette! Your husband wants to see you eat or whatever it is people do at these kind of tables!

Odette: You will NEVER be my husband!

Odette: How often do I need to tell you, my heart belongs-

Rothbart: To the dummy who's had the same haircut since he was a toddler.

Odette: Sure..

Rothbart: I'm telling you, Odette, the guy spells disaster. I watched all of it unfold in my crystal ball. So sad.

Odette: No you. Now I'm leaving!

Rothbart: Not curious at all?

Odette: N-

(gigantisch glazen bol wordt op tafel gegooid)

Rothbart (kijkt erin, heel magisch allemaal): First, you'll lose importance to him. Priority shall always be given to someone or something else..

(shot van odette)

Rothbart: And then.. horrible.. if that's not enough, he's not even man enough to give you a child. Your desire to become a mother overpowers you, you feel urged to adopt some stupid random peasant kid, as you don't have the heart to tell the loser you're living with that he's a failure..

Odette: (kritische blik)

Rothbart: Your only moment of excitement is when I get resurrected from the dead and almost ruin Christmas.

(Rothbart is stil na zijn realization dat hij dood gaat)

Rothbart: Anyway, if you pick me, we'll have 15 beautiful children who'll all look like me. Except for the boy.

(Odette loopt weg)

### Odette "vecht" voor haar vrijheid (tijdens verblijf)

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

*19 panelen*

(in eetkamer, odette komt binnen)

Rothbart: You look energetic today, wanna have a wedding?

Odette: I do not wish to speak to you if it's not required, King Rothbart..!

Rothbart: I see.. Then, what are your plans for the upcoming days?

Odette: ..Nothing in particular. Waiting for my beloved to find me..

Rothbart: He never will, I'm betting Bridget's life on it.

Bridget (achtergrond): ?!

Odette: It doesn't matter if I'm a swan or you've hidden this castle.. Derek is smarter than you think.

Rothbart: Hm. Smarter than a pebble..

Odette: Hmpf! Your insecurity is audible!

Rothbart: Hmpf! Your insecurity is audible!

Odette: I can feel his presence drawing near!

Rothbart: I smell him too.

Odette (in zijn gezicht): His great kingdom and mine are doing everything in their power to find me! You won't get away with this!

Rothbart (zoekend): Where these great kingdoms at? Where they at?

Odette (balt vuisten): ENOUGH! I'm taking you on myself!

Rothbart: !

Odette: Stand up and fight, crook! No magic, no weapons, raw power!

(Rothbart tovert andere kleding aan voor vechten; shirt en paardenstaart? Vuisten gebald.)

Rothbart: At least you're admitting your boyfriend is an incompetent loser by doing thi-

(Odette valt aan)

Odette: Yaaaaaaah!

(pakt hem bij de nek en probeert hem neer te halen)

Rothbart: Oh no. The power of a 132 pound princess compels me.

Odette: Villain! Scum!

(Bediende komt kraaiend binnen met snacks voor de twee vrienden. Die twee liggen op de grond, Odette wurgt door, Rothbart bloost.)

Rothbart: I'm scum..

Rothbart: Hey Bridget! Assist your master!

(Bridget loopt weg)

Rothbart: Curses, she's a feminist! I never stood a chance!

(Odette kijkt naar schaal)

(Odette staat op)

Odette: W-We'll continue this at a later time! Don't get up!

(Odette eet)
Rothbart (op de grond nog): I want banana.

(Rothbart op de grond met schaal op zijn muil)

## BIGGERING

### Gedicht over eten

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

There were the barbaloots

in their barbaloot suits

I wished to try one

but it was no good.

Some swomee swan eggs

a humming fish dish

I swallowed it all

it tasted like shit.

### Onceleer schrijft een boek

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

lor: I've followed your men around for a bit.. I thought you promised me they wouldn't intrude the bunununun breeding grounds.
ler: Sounds like you're bored. This is for you. (geeft boek)

lor: Leronce, I thought you promised me they wouldn't intrude the bunununun breeding grounds!

ler: It's a fun little biography, I even mentioned you in it.

lor: Oh great, now you're spreading lies through literature as well.
ler: Aw, look at the excitement on your face, you didn't know how fast to look when you believed you'd be in it. You're not, though.

lor: (leest) ..Famous music artists singing about enjoying the simple things in life, politicians promoting new rulings they know won't affect them, those at the top do what they can to make the middle and lower classes remain satisfied about their powerlessness in the world..

lor: Wow, the irony.

ler: Irony, Lorax..?

lor: Yeah? You're not seeing it..?

ler: When was the last time you were hungry, Lorax?

lor: ..Changing the subject, are we. Never, you know I don't need food..

ler: Yet here you are, laughing at me.

lor: Wh-..How so?!

ler: I've entrusted you with some very embarrassing things about myself, no one knows where I'm from, except for you, though it's only you who distrusts my sincerity..!

lor: B-because you've proven yourself to be a liar!

ler: You're a sadist.

### Lorax verliest zijn shit and wordt er Iers van

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

lor: The trees!

ler: Yes?

lor: They're dying!

ler: We're all dying, I'm dying right now, don't hear you advocating for my existence.

lor: How many times we keep playing this game!

ler: My life is a game to you, Lorax? I tsk.

lor: Everyone else's life is a game to YOU!

ler: Let's discuss games another time, shall we. I'm busy marking off territories for my woodcutters to visit.

lor: Swine!

lor: You're heartless! Hopeless!

lor: Yue think yue can keep gett'n away wit this!?

lor: Ha waff'dn aye haf't cam baeck to this cowd stowne off'ce 'n a rá leat, leat leathcheann dúr!

ler: ...

ler: (hoofd op handen, maar zegt nog niks)

### Lorax ontmoeting dag 2

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Lor (met barbaloots): Ah, there you are. You've been gone for 2 days, I was getting worried..

(leronce loopt stil langs)

Lor: ...

Lor: You don't talk alot, do you.. I hope that's not because of me..?

(ler staat stil bij beer)

B: oo!

lor: That's a bar-ba-loot! No reason to fear, they're friendly.

lor: (houdt beer ondersteboven): See? You can pick them up and do about anything with them! Not that you should, of course.

Ler: ...

Lor: It's been a week, you still can't trust me?

Ler: ...

lor: (denkt)

lor:I-I'm sorry for when I yelled at you.. I wasn't trying to give you a wrong impression of me, if that's what's bothering you. I just want for the trees-

ler: I sold everything, double the money this time.

lor: Ugh. I mean-..! Not to downplay your accomplishments, it's impressive..but you only talk when it's about your "Needies". The trees-

ler: I got a new hat. (bolhoed)

ler: See? It's in crumpled paper, that means it's new, sometimes.

lor: O-oh. Ah. Yeah, sometimes..?

lor: If you got yourself a little luxury, sounds like you've earned quite the money, indeed. Did you buy some yarn as well?

ler: No. Didn't have enough.

lor: This is why kids shouldn't be handling finances..!

(lorax kijkt naar hut)

lor: Leronce.. If you got time, I'd like to talk about your family. Haven't seen them around since you showed up. Not that I've been spying on you, of course!

ler: (hoed op) Does this look good?

lor: You don't owe me an explanation, I get it, I'm just some unkempt critter that popped up out of nowhere, but..to me and these animals..so are you. Heh..!

ler: Should I keep my old hat..?

(verslagen lorax): Hmmggh...

(leronce kijkt terug)

lor: ...

lor: Could you tell me where your parents are?

(shot van leronce)

lor: Or where you're from.?

ler: ..I don't know.

lor: You're lost?

ler: No.

lor: On the run?

ler: ...

lor: An orphan?

ler: ...

...

lor: Are you alright, Leronce?

...

(lorax probeert hand op hem te leggen)

(vacht raakt nauwelijks leronce aan)

(leronce schokt)

(lorax verbaasd)

lor: I apologize, that was intrusive of me..! Um..

...

ler: I don't think my town has a name.

lor: Oh.. Well, that's not entirely unusual..

ler: I don't wanna go back.

(shot van lorax)

lor: But what about your parents?

ler: I don't feel good when they talk to me. Or look at me. I wanted to leave and make things. I bought some stuff without telling them. My father almost hit me.

lor: ...

ler: I feel better now.

(veruit shot van leronce en lorax, rug)

lor: Good.. That's very good, boy.

..I'm amazed by how well you're doing for yourself. I hope..you'll build a sustainable future for yourself.

ler: What's "sustainable"?

lor: Well.. that you'll stop spending money on fancy hats and move to a human town, with people you'll want to see and talk to.

ler: Oh. Okey..

lorax: The land of truffula isn't your yarn warehouse! Nature gives to the needy, not the greedy!

### Leronce vind een dierenlijk

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

lor: There you are, I was looking for you. What're you looking at?

(dierenlijk)

lor: Don't look!

lor: How ghastly.. To kill and not even make use of your prey. Highly unusual.

(lorax kijkt naar leronce)

(shot van leronce)

(shot van leronce's bloederige handschoenen)

lor: You didn't.. hunt this little creature, did you..?

leronce: No.

(shot van lorax)

lor: And your hands..?

ler: I touched it.

lor: (trekt vies gezicht)

(geruis in de verte)

(vleeseter uit de bosjes kijkt)

lor: Ah.. looks like the perpetrator was hiding..

I guess I don't need to give this poor soul a burial..

ler: Why not?

lor: Though I'd love for everyone to be vegetarian, that's just not feasible.

ler: "feasible"?

lor: Possible.

(roofdier kruipt naar prooi)

lor: There are many creatures on Earth who're dependant on the bodies of others to survive, they can't digest anything else. A sad reality, but that doesn't make them less valuable. The right thing would be to let her keep her food.

ler: (kijkt naar lorax)

(lorax kijkt terug omhoog)

ler: You have sharp teeth too.

lor: Yeah.. but don't worry, I don't eat meat. I don't need to eat, but when I do, I go for the greens!

lor: Let's get out of here, I'd rather not have kids watching this..

(lopen)

lor: Leronce. I'm sorry for suspecting you.

### Lorax roept voor Eden

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

lor: Look what the cotton cat dragged in.

ler: Hi Lorax.

lor: Don't try to weasel yourself out of it with your smiles of childlike innocence, you know why I'm here..

lor: You've been cutting down more trees behind my back..! You know what they mean to me..!

ler: I need more leafs, because people ordered-

lor: Then say 'no'! 'Out of stock'! 'Finished'! If you keep catering to people, then this'll be a never-ending cycle of killing trees to make more Thneeds to kill more trees to make more Thneeds!

ler: ...

lor: Am..I being unreasonable?

ler (verlegen en manipulatief): But how will I buy food..?

lor: Buy yarn with the money you saved up and continue from there.

ler: But it's expensive..

lor: It's just yarn, it shouldn't be.

ler: Everyone wants Thneeds.. If it's just yarn, then it's not Thneed. What if they stop buying, then I'm out of money and I'll die..

lor: Leronce, you can't seriously think-.. Things won't go downhill for you so easily, you're smarter and more talented than you think! You started from nothing, didn't you?

ler: I can't buy anything right now. I bought a blazer.. and something for you.

lor: ?

lor: You bought-..?! D-Dog treats?! I'm not a dog and why do you keep buying stuff if you're worried about money and dying! You've got no restraint! Don't you understand or do you just don't care!

ler: ..I just wanted to do something nice..

lor: ...

lor: Oooff.... Alright. Let me calm down for a second.. Thank you for the gift..

lor: What's on your boots? Is that ash?

lor (?!): Where did that ash come from?

ler: I made a campfire yesterday.

lor: There's grass everywhere, how did you make a fire?

lor: Please, tell me the truth..!

ler: You'll just yell at me..

lor: I won't! Please, I won't!

(shot van verbrand gebied)

(geschokte lorax, haast woedend)

(kijkt naar leronce)

(leronce kijkt weg met nepschuld)

(leronce kijkt)

lor: Not a problem. It's a small area, I can fix this.

lor: Hey! Just watch me, I bet you're going to love this trick!

(dans voor Eden, Lorax wordt erg ziek)

(lorax valt)

(lorax bloedt en kan zijn adem niet vinden)

(leronce kijkt)

lor: Don't worry about..me..! What do you think?

(lorax valt flauw)

lor: ..what.. do..y..ou..

(lorax wordt wakker in leronce's hut)

### Leronce geboorte

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

m: yaaarh!

(shot van haar half bewusteloos in armen van leronce's vader, de baby huilt))

v: Stay awake..! Don't fall asleep, it's over if you sleep..!

(shot van moeder)

v: Stay awake!

(vader kijkt boos naar huilende baby op grond)

(vader rent naar andere kamer met moeder)

v: Here, lie down, try to stay warm..

m: The noise..

v: I know.. It'll make it stop in a second.

m: Baby.. Is that..the baby..?

v: Don't worry about it, we need to take care of you first.

m: I want..the baby..

v: No.. No..

M: I want the baby..

v: We can't take care of it. You know that, we've already talked about this.

v: It's stopped crying.. It's better this way, sweety.

m: Baby.. where did you.. leave.. the baby..

(vader geirriteerd)

v: Stay put, I'll..look..

(vader loopt woonkamer in)

(baby ligt stil bij de ingang, mer sneeuw waaiend binnen)

(shot van vader)

(shot van baby)

(shot van vader)

(vader tikt baby aan met voet, kleine kreun)

(shot van vader)

(vader neemt baby mee)

(legt baby bij haar)

v: Things will only become harder for us. It's already starving.

m: What is this.. cold..

v: The baby.

m: No..

v: You have to let it eat or it'll definitely die.. I'm with you..

m: We don't have a name..

v: Maybe we should wait with that.

m: Boy or girl..?

v: ... Boy.

m:...

m: Mark.. Richie... Jon.. Adam.. Ben..

v: Any is fine, it doesn't matter..

m: Torue.. Demu.. Fessalt.. Ronaluld..

v: Maybe it does matter..

m: Hogh.. Leronce..
v: Leronce, I don't care.. let's just.. make sure we get the both of you through the night..

### Aanrakingsangst

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

*21 panelen*

(in gang/lounge)

1: The Once-ler, thank you for your time, it's an honour!

(man omhelst hem, leronce niet 100% blij mee)

1: We're going to do great things, I know it, I'll be a major asset to your business, I can assure you!

Leronce: Take a seat. (slaat Lorax van bankje)

1: Thank you very much, it won't take long, I promise!

Lorax: Um! Excuse me, I was here fi-

Leronce: Relax, sir. I have time.

1: I'm pretty nervous, it was hard getting in contact with you!

(raakt zijn schouder aan)

1: but I can see it in your eyes, you're a powerful, but honest man!

Leronce: Indeed, very powerful.

1: So listen here: your Thneeds, my Whants, two brands made for each other..!

Leronce: Some would say they are suspiciously alike.

1: A happy coincidence, Mr. Once-ler! It means fate wanted us to meet! (raakt weer aan, leronce deinst een beetje terug)

(hand over schouder, boekje open)

1: Look at these designs and tell me, don't they inspire you!

(deinst weer terug)

Leronce: Very inspiring.. or perhaps, very inspired.

(hand op schouder)

1: Hahaha! I know what you're getting at and I'm flattered, but of course, I could never match your craftsmanship!

(hand nog op schouder)

1: Alright, so here's my idea. My earth-toned Whants for men, your bright-coloured Thneeds for the ladies!

(hand nog op schouder, leronce word misselijk)

1: We exchange designs and hold a weekly meeting to discuss- (blur over text)

(hand nog op schouder, leronce word misselijk)

1: blablabla

Lorax: Get your hands off him, can't you see he's stroking out!

1: Did you hear something?

Leronce: No.

Leronce: But I think to have heard enough.

1: Ah, well, what do you think?

Leronce: I commend your boldness. Hopefully riding on my success has earned you enough money to survive a law suit. I guess we'll see.

1: ..Eh..

Leronce: Thank you for coming.

(loopt weg door de gang, Lorax en Leronce zien hem gaan)

(Leronce kijkt naar Lorax)

Lorax: Don't get anything in your head, idiot.

### Lorax is een man (niet canon)

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

(Lorax verandert in een man zodat hij beter tegen leronce kan vechten, maar moet eerst een id en alles aanvragen en een baan hebben voor geld registratie vereniging en een huis voor een huisadres dat opgegeven moet worden etc)

Lorax met dieren: I'm sorry, my friends. I should've made a difference by now, but Leronce just won't listen to me. He mistakes me for an animal and seemingly can't respect anything with a little fur..

Lorax (staat op): That's it..! If being a Lorax won't make him listen, then maybe I should give him something to worry about!

Lorax: Let's see how this coward responds to a man! A man with an organization of his own!

(later)

vrouw achter balie: To register this charity, I need an ID.

Lorax: ID..?

(later)

vrouw achter balie: Lorax is your name..? Is this your first or last name? I'll need a full name and a valid home address. Do you have a birth certificate? If you're an immigrant, then we need to-

Lorax: Lorax from Truffula, what more do you need?

(later)

vrouw: To build a home in Truffula.. I don't know, sir.. It might be easier to move to Neces City. What's your budget?

Lorax: ..Budget..? Ah.. money..

man: You won't be able to do much on this temporary visa, but sure, we'll find you a job.

(lorax werkt)

(lorax studeert)

(lorax krijgt id)

(lorax bouwt huis in Truffula)

(lorax registreert organizatie)

Lorax: Finally.. I got everything..

Lorax: Leronce!

Lorax: It's me! I'm now the founder of a protest group! You left me with no choice! If the voice of a tiny Lorax won't do it, then perhaps a man and his growing amount of human members will!

Lorax: No longer can you ignore or look down at me! You better be worried, Leronce, this time sending me away might just give you consequences you're not prepared to deal with!

Lorax: For all Bar-ba-loots! For all Cotton Cats -rest in peace! Change your ways!

(shot van leronce)

Lorax: Speechless, are we? No snide comments or excuses? Then it's time to.. to.. do what's right! And stop-..

(shot van leronce)

Lorax: ..Why are you looking at me like that?

Lorax: W-What is it? What!? There's nothing wrong with my human form, I'm sure of it!

Lorax: Seriously, what's with the expression!

(leronce begint te lopen)

lorax: What do you want?

(lorax begint ook te lopen)

lorax: Hey.. Hey, back off! What is it..!?

(beginnen sneller te lopen)

lorax: Leronce, stop! Stop! Why!

(rennen zeer hard)

lorax: I DON'T GET IT, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!

### Once-ler wordt gevonden terwijl hij een man vermoord (niet canon)

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

(Leronce is in gesprek met een gast die zijn handen niet thuis kan houden, hij krijgt een aanval en Lorax vind hem bovenop hem)

Lorax: ...

Learn to lock the door, Leronce!

(slam!)

Leronce: ...

Leronce (naar dode man): You piece of Bar-ba-loot scum..

Leronce: Now he thinks I'm GAY..!

Leronce: For SOMEONE ELSE!

### Once-ler vergrotert, heel ongepast (niet canon)

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Lorax: I just came back from the humming-fish lake! Are you kidding me, Leronce!

Leronce: Probably.

Lorax: Waste! As far the eye can see! It's not a lake anymore, it's a heap! Of waste! And then there's the animals I had to save from the bear traps! The land you set ablaze! And what's with the oil spills everywhere?!

Leronce: Nhg.

Lorax: Yeah, what?!

Leronce: Go on.. I'm biggering..

...

...

(Lorax slaat hem neer met een koekenpan uit het niks)

### vrijwillig bewusteloos slaan (niet canon)

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Lorax: Leronce! I'm-

Leronce: Lorax, what's your opinion on getting beaten unconsious? Voluntarirly?

Lorax: It's one of those days, I'll come back tomorrow.

### Lorax wordt gecatfished (niet canon)

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Max: Hi, Lorax, it is us, Max and Nev.

Lorax: Who?

Max: The hosts of Catfish: The TV Show, back before 2018.

Lorax: Oh, right.

Nev: So, tell us what's going on.

Lorax: I did, in the letter, 2 months ago?

Max: For the camera, please.

Lorax: Alright, so, there's this lady talking to me-

Max: Ahuh, ahuh.

Nev: And obviously she's way out of your league, she can't possibly be real.

Lorax: Nice, thanks..

Lorax: Anyway, she won't leave me alone. She sent me a computer with internet access, just so she could harass me on social media.

Max: Let's see..

Max: "Why won't you show up at the motel, pussy? My ass hungers for those hairy-"

Nev: Wow, these messages are truly disgusting, let's print them for later use.

Max: Good idea.

Lorax: ..?

Lorax: Can you please find out where she lives so I can file a restraining order against her?

Nev: You.. don't like being thirsted after by a supermodel?

Max: Not so fast, Nev, this ginger Minion knows it's a trick, she isn't real!

Max: Luckily for you, we've found her address. Let's confront her!

Nev: Here we are.

Lorax: Oh no.

Max: That's one big house. Was it a fake address after all?

Lorax: I gotta go.

## MIOO!

### Mir is dronken en zingt een zielig lied tijdens een Team Rocket evenement + Pezhman wordt weer eens gedrogeerd (vroeg seizoen/vóór Unmeide)

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

**Deel 1:** *10 panelen*

(Mir waggelt een podium op)

(Mir staat op een podium)

(Mir staat op een podium)

M: Ladies and mentlegen! I've just been rejected! Ha.. ha ha.. Again!

This song goes out to.. girl over there!

(shot van geirriteerde Team Rocket vrouw)

M: You better pay attention, cuz otherwise.. you'll.. miss it and then it won't make ya feel guilty 'n stuff..!

(muziek start)

M: Catch me, babyyyy, I'm about to cryyyy..

Got no loviiiiin' of any kind..

(zang gaat door op achtergrond)

?: (handen op oren) Farsi! Who is this demented helium baloon from Hell!?

??: (handen op oren) My ears have never before been cursed with worse entertainment!

?: Farsi?

F: \*drinks door met tevreden gezicht en bloedende oren\*

?: Farsi!

F: \*kijkt terug\*

F: Hm?

**Deel 2:** *20 panelen*

(nog aan tafel op evenement)

F: \*Pezhman ziet er moe uit\*

vrouw: You're looking out of it, dear Farsi..

F: Don't worry about me, miss.

vrouw: Perhaps you should lie down. Come, let me-

F: Truly. Don't worry about me.

vrouw: T-Then, at the very least let me bring you another drink to help you wake up.

F: Of course. Gladly.

(shot van handen alleen)

vrouw: There you go, drink up, you'll feel much better!

F: \*grijpt naar glas\*

(Mir's hand op het glas)

M: (trekt farsi mee) C'mon Farsi.

F: What? What is it..!

M: Let's get outta.. outta h-here.

F: Unhand me, Mir Yusuf! You're drunk!

M: No y-you!

M: You're not seein' what's going on? That chick's been feedin' you pills all nite!

F: ..Surely someone would've seen and warned me if that were true.

M: I'm warnin' ya rite now..! Stupid Farsi. I'm not dealin' with you again.. puttin' a gun in my hand, so you can yell at me the next mornin'..! I just got rejected by the goirl of my dreams, ya know..! Seriously, how often does this happen..?!

F: You have a new "girl of your dreams" every week.

M: I'm talkin' about your dumb ass gettin' drugged!

F: You dare to.. to disrespect your boss? I have cameras all over the place and I check these regularly. I've never succumbed to any drugs or been taken advantage of..! I might just have.. an alcohol problem.. but I can stop at any time!

M: That just means these sneaky perverts know how to stay out of sight..!

M: I'd love to get some notes from em.. but foir now.. stop underestimatin' the pretty ones..! Apparently lotsa goirls don't think yer a walkin' corpse and wanna get with ya.. Lowerin' yer guard will just end you up gettin' huirt.

F: \*valt bijna flauw\*

M: (grijpt naar hem) Heyey..! No, don't.. I can't catch ya, yer too.. heavy.. A bag of-..

M: (mir valt zelf bewusteloos) ..bri..cks..

F: \*vangt Mir\*

(Pezhman kijkt naar hem)

F: (naar zijn personeel) That woman over there.

F: Get rid of her.

**Deel 3:** *8 panelen*

(mir wordt wakker in vreemde 2-persoons hotel kamer)

M: Uhhg..

M: \*kijkt druilerig naar het plafond\*

M: What's.. Where am I?

(shot van een stoel met kleren op)

M: Looks like Farsi's blazer and shoes..

M \*bekijkt zijn omgeving en zichtzelf meer\*

(close-up)

M: !!!

M: (huilt) WAAAAAAAAAAH, NOOOOOO! NO, NO, NO!! WAAAAAH!

F: (vanaf de vloer ergens) Mir Yusuf, shut up!

(shot waar farsi camera beelden laat zien vanaf zijn telefoon)

telefoon: "\*bonk\* f: owww... (farsi valt en slaat zichzelf knock-out)"

M: Hahahahaha!

F: I-In any case, nothing inappropriate happened, so stop crying!

M: Hahahahahahaha!

### Mir krijgt een luvdisc pijl in zijn kop (vroeg seizoen/vóór Unmeide)

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

**Deel 1:** *13 panelen*

?: Farsi! An honor to get invited by you! I'm here with my invention, as promised!

?: Ta-Da! As they say.

F: A luvdisk.

?: An ARROW! This baby was made from the Pokémon it mirrors and is SUPER EFFECTIVE. As they say.

?: Anyone who makes contact with its mouth will fall in love with the first person they see!

F: ..And how will this benefit me?

F: I'm already cursed with this effect.

?: W... But.. don't you a-at least want to see it in practise? This is powerful stuff, I'm sure you can find a use for it! As they say.

M: I couild! Can I have it?

?: A-ah! Fantastic, a volunteer!

(steekt vis in hem)

?: There you go, have it!

M: Ow!

F: \*gaat snel aan de kant\*

M: W-Woa.. that feels weird..

W: Mr. Farsi, I'd like to talk about my wage... I never got any.

F: ..Who are you?

M: ..Walt.. Walt..

F: ?

W: ?

M: Walt! <3

W: Basset! :]

**Deel 2:** *21 panelen*

W: I'm glad we're friends now, Mir, but to be honest..

..this is kinda cringe.

M: Walt! Don't call our love cringe!

JP: Is Mir acting off to you?

CJ: No?

M: What's yer opinion on marriage at foirst site?

W: It exists, apparently.

M: So you agree! I'm so happy!

W: I'm confused..

M: A status ailment that'll last only a few rounds.

M: I'll get to the point: You and I shouild get our love graced by the great Arceus and get married!

W: I.. I'm not fit to be a wife..!

M: People used that excuse on me befoire and now they're all someone else's wife!

M: Kiss me, fool..!

W: ?!

F: Mir Yusuf! Boy I don't know!

(shot van pezhman's kantoor)

F: Do you really need to discus this in my office?!

W: I'm sorry, Mr. Farsi, Mir insisted on going to a place no one would dare to barge in and interrupt us, so he could confess to me. For the 500th time this week.

F: Don't think I'll be lenient with you because you associate with my whisperer! After this is over, you'll be executed.

M: (knuffelt) Don't listen to him, schnookums, he sez that to me all the time..!

F: (trekt hem eraf) Stop embarrassing yourself, Mir Yusuf!

M: (spartelt) No! Lemme go! I gotta be with my baby every minute of the day!

W: It's made my bathroom breaks real awkward.

F: Since there's no antidote and I'm tired of watching this filth continue on, I asked the arrow's creator for some possible solutions.

M: (spartelt) Walt, save me from the crypt keeper!

W: (wordt weggeleid door personeel) I can't, I'm being executed. Bye bye.

F: Focus, Mir Yusuf! He suggested you kiss someone you have genuine affection for! Are there any women here you've been harassing before getting hit?

M: Walt is the only woman for me!

F: I thought so..

(in grote zaal)

F: Are there any ladies this man has tried to flirt with?

(alle handen omhoog. Farsi kijkt moe.)

F: Please come forward to kiss him. That is an order.

(niemand heeft daar trek in)

F: I'll pay you one million dollars for the hassle.

(alleen Jessie komt naar voren)

F: Ugh.

F: (gedachten) That Charmeleon.. Mir Yusuf made that shirt, didn't he. This is one of his companions. I doubt it kissing this thing will wake him up, but.. if affection for a Pokémon counts..

(terug in kantoor, pezhman heeft giovanni in zijn nekvel, Mir in zijn andere hand)

F: Please, Mr. Giovanni, just to see if it works-

G: (spartelt) RAAWRARAAARAAAARW!

M: (spartelt) NO, I DON'T WANNA KISS THE CUTE KITTY! WAAAAAALT!

### Mir is uitgenodigd door Farsi's moeder (vóór Unmeide)

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

**Deel 1:** *14 panelen*

p: I'm home.

P: Ma'm, where are you?

moeder: (met thee) You mean where were YOU? It's been hours ago I sent you that text.

p: In another country, I came as fast as I could.

moeder: Well, Stefan saved me, so let's not worry about it..

p: Stefan?

moeder: I was surprised as well, sometimes I feel like he threw away my number, I can never reach him.

p: (zwetend achter moeder aan) ..M'am.. M'am, m'am..! You can't just-

(ziet mir in de huiskamer) ...

p: ...

m: ...

p: I'M CUTTING YOUR WAGE IN HALF!

m: I WAS INVITED, IF YA WANNA KNOW!

moeder: Pezhman, you just got here and you're already starting a fight!

vader: Yes, very nostalgic.

p: why is he here!

moeder: I was under a box, I sent everyone I knew a text, both you and your father let me down, what more you want to know!

p: How did she get your phone number!

m: She asked.

p: And then you say NO!

vader: (slaat hand op mir's schouder) But he didn't, and he showed up to help your mother. Why are you angry, boy?

(shot van mir) vader: he's been keeping her company, we should at the very least reward him with a thank you and some dinner.

**Deel 2:** *20 panelen*

moeder: you look so skinny, have some more.

moeder: (schept meer op) you look so skinny, have some more.

moeder: (schept nog meer op) you look so skinny, have some more.

m: (fluistert) I think it's startin again.

p: no, this is normal.

moeder: Pezhman, now you're here, I wanted to talk with you about our next getaway.

p: I don't have time.

moeder: How about lunch at that underwater diner, or taking pictures in the safari zone?

p: No thanks.

moeder: What would you choose, Stefan? (pezhman kijkt op)

m: Euh. I dunno. There's lotsa stuff I've never done or got to do.

moeder: Oh.

moeder: ..should we invite Stefan over, Pezhman?

p: No.

vader: why're you asking him, he doesn't even want to go.

p: Mir Yusuf is an employee, it would be inappropriate for him to mingle with his employer's parents.

moeder: I see no problem with it. Want some more food, Stefan?

(pezhman kijkt naar moeder bij aanrecht)

p: (bij aanrecht) M'am. I have to ask you to stop wasting your time with this man.

moeder: He's a nice young man, he can have my time. He'll make for a good friend.

p: I mean it. He is not worth it.

moeder: You need a friend.

p: I'll decide for myself what I need, and we'll never be friends.

moeder: ..Is he making you nervous because he's so small..?

p: Partially.

p: Mir Yusuf's tolerance of *you* doesn't mean he's suitable as *my* friend. I hoped you had learned this already..!

moeder: What are you talking about, you and Stefan were friends since day one!

p: Stop saying that name..! You have eyes and I know you remember, this is not Stefan..!

(moeder pakt zijn gezicht)

moeder: I indeed have eyes. I could see it the moment he showed up..

moeder: He's your Stefan.

p: ...

p: (loopt weg) Preposterous, what does that even mean?

P: Stop inviting him over, he's an unapologetic leech, you'll regret it..

**Deel 3:** *23 panelen*

moeder: And this is Pezhman's room.

m: Huh? You guys never got rid of his stuff?

moeder: Of course not, he lives here!

m: ...Ah. Right.

moeder: Snoop around if you must.

m: Really? I definitely must!

(kijkt rond)

M: Hm..

Hmmm..

This place is really borin'.

(pakt een map uit een kast)

m: Guess I'll snoop a bit deeper.

What kinda stuff wouild a kid Farsi save, I wonda..

p: MIR YUSUF, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!

m: YEEEE!

m: Y-Your mom let me in! She-

(ziet dat er niemand is)

m: Mir Yusuf, forsaken by another mother..

p: (pakt map af) Hands off my belongings and leave my parental home, you've stayed here long enough!

m: Why so anxious, Farsi?

m: (gehurkt bij bed) Ya got magazines hidden somewhere ya don't want people to see?

p: You won't find a single degenerate object in my room, this is a matter of basic privacy! Now leave!

m: (relaxed op bed) You've been yellin' at me all evenin', but that's all ya done.

p: Off my bed, Mir Yusuf!

m: Ya don't think I know what's goin' on here?

p: Excuse me?

m: Ya CAN'T send me away. Yer all bark and no bite, cuz yer parents love me!

I shouild ask em to gimme this room, this is a nice house and neighbourhood.

p: I will kill you. I will kill you and dump your lifeless body into the ocean.

m: (staat naast hem, op planken te kijken) If you kill me, I'm tellin' dad.

m: (pakt radio) Oh wow, they had these in the Jurassic period?

(pezhman zeer boos)

m: (denkt) Heh, I was rite, he can't touch me now I'm cosy with his family.

m:..

m: (kijkt omhoog naar pezhman) I know ya don't care.. but I had a great time. I really like yer old folks.

m: (kijkt naar radio) Would've loved em as my parents..

p: ...

p: You're a bother. Please don't turn this into a routine.

m: What? What did I do?

(pezhman kijkt met lichte irritatie)

(mir geeft een lichtelijk beledigde blik terug)

(pezhman gebaard dat hij zijn radio terug wil)

p: Try not to take it personally, I'm saying this for my mother's sake. I appreciate you showed up to help her.

m: Couild've fooled me.

radio: "No, IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII don't wanna fall in-" (Wicked Game)

(pezhman drukt het haastig uit)

### Pete is Mir alweer vergeten (Na het ijsgrot verhaal)

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

*16 panelen*

(Pete en Nidorash zitten op een bankje)

p: Nothing beats a cold ice cream on a hot summer day!

n: Wowo!

p: Too bad our friends aren't here to join us.. But really, I have no idea at what point in the original series' timeline we are and who our friends are right now.

Oh well, more ice cream for us.

(ijs is gesmolten)

p: Oh, okey.

(Mir springt uit lege ijshoorn)

m: WE GOTCHA NOW, PETE ASHTOO! JESSIE, JAMES, DO THE YELL!

cj: Char charmeleon!

jp: Jigglypuff jiggly!

(Pete kijkt verward)

cj: etc etc etc

jp: etc etc etc

(Mir kijkt de boel aan)

cj: etc etc etc

jp: etc etc etc

(Pete en Nidorash kijken elkaar aan)

cj: etc etc etc

jp: etc etc etc

m: Hold up..! (jessie en james stoppen)

...

m: Didya.. forget who we are or sumthing..?

...

p: Well-

m: C'mon, Pete! I've only been gone foir..

m: How long was it?

jp: 7 months?

(Mir trekt een crisis kop)

### Sommigen zouden dit een date noemen (laat seizoen)

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

**Deel 1:** *30 panelen*

m: Farsi, I'm hungry!

p: ..Then eat, you know where the canteen is.

m: Well, ya see, I remember this orange giant once tellin' me I could depend on him whenever I'm in need, and gettin' real sassy when I sed no.

p: ...

m: And it ain't Donald Trump.

m: I'm in need right now. Need of food.

p: I have people waiting for me, I can't-

m: Need food.

p: Go to the canteen!

m: Need food, dyin'. I'm dyin'.

p: I've already arranged the canteen's menus to be free for you, what more do you want from m-

m: And I'll ignore yer a stingy boss who lets his workers pay for their lunches. The canteen doesn't sell caviar or chocolate milk, so, how 'bout takin' me to an actual restaurant.

p: ...

m: ...

p: ...

(In restaurant, tafel staat vol met troep)

m (gedachten): I can't believe he ended up takin' me..

(Farsi op zijn telefoon)

(Mir kijkt kritisch)

m: Ya really gotta play games on yer phone the whole nite? Kinda rude.

p: I'm trying to finish work, I don't have time to interact with a glutton holding me hostage emotionally.

m: Just checkin' if yer all talk and no do, Farsi. Ya surprised me, though.

(Farsi werkt door, pakt een tablet erbij)

m: Oh. You're gonna dual wield in front of me now.

(Farsi geeft een blik)

(Farsi ruimt zijn spullen op)

(Farsi leunt op zijn handen en geeft een oncomfortabele staar)

(Mir wordt nerveus, eet door)

(Mir wordt nerveuzer, Farsi staart door)

(Mir zweet extreem)

(Farsi's ogen vernauwen)

m: Take a pic, a video, clone me, it'll last longer!

(Farsi grijnst)

m: (rent weg) I CAN'T HANDLE SMOTHERIN' ACKNOWLEDGEMENT! I'm outta here!

p: No dessert, then?

(Mir stopt)

**Deel 2:** *18 panelen*

(Mir en Farsi zitten nog aan tafel)

m: What does yer goirlfrend think of you always workin'?

p: ?

m: Yer always at HQ, in another country, or out eatin' with fruitcakes.

p: Interesting way to describe my allies and customers. Or do you mean yourself?

m: (Stampt meer ijs in zijn mond) Aw. Cute joke, Farsi, "A" foir effort.

m: Just when do you have time to hang out with the people ya love? Yer mom's always waitin' foir you to call.

p: How do you know?

m: Cuz she always callin' me.

p: I apologize for that.

m: Yeah, well.. Whatever, she's a nice dame.. One of the few who doesn't treat me like a used litter box.

p: I know.

(Farsi staart)

m: (Mir geeft een storende blik terug) ...

m: ..You startin' again..?

m: Do ya even know how to smile? I feel sorry foir anyone who has to wake up next to you in the mornin'.

p: Not everything warrants a smile.

m: (lacht) Fair. I get it, tonight's bill probably won't, but well, that's what ya get foir yellin' at me!

(Close-up)

m: Unless..

m: Are ya addin' this to my debt?

(Shot van Farsi)

m: Farsi..!

m: Farsi, answer me!

(Shot van Farsi)

m: Farsi, tell me if I payin' foir this!

(Farsi lacht)

m: Farsi, son of an Oddish!

## IAN'S

### Ian leert aardig zijn voor zijn moeder's poppen/meisjes

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

*6 panelen*

(Shot van pop)

Ian's moeder: Oh, beautiful, that's beautiful, dear.

(Shot van Ian die ernaar kijkt)

Ian's vader: You're a peculiar woman.

Ian's moeder: How rude, you married me.

(Later die dag, in de verzamelkamer. Ian pakt een andere pop terwijl zijn moeder de nieuwe neerzet.)

Ian's moeder: There we go.

(Ian heeft pop bij de haren, valt op de grond en breekt gedeeltelijk)

Ian's moeder: Ian!

Ian's moeder: Why, son!?

Ian: I want to play with one.

Ian's moeder: That's no way to play with a little girl!

Ian's moeder: You hurt her pretty little face, learn to be gentle!

### Ian ontmoet Jan

Maakt niet uit wat hier te zien is. Gaat erom dat hij haar ziet en ze lijkt op zijn moeder's poppen en ze doet wat ze wil.

## Liedteksten

### Eeuwige vlam

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Eternal Flame

zeg mijn naam

de zon komt uit de regen vandaan

een leven zo eenzaam

maar jij komt en neemt de pijn weg

ik wil dit nooit meer vergeten

### Verste hoogtes

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Wuthering Heights (Kate Bush)

In Wageningen, vaste wind, we rolden in het gras.

Jij had een humeur, zoals mijn jaloezie.

Te heet, te gierig.

Hoe kon je weggaan?

Terwijl 'k je nodig moest

bezitten.

Ik haatte je.

Maar ik hield van je.

Slapeloosheid in de nacht.

Ze zeiden mij dat de toekomst niet naar me lacht.

Ik laat achter mijn grootste, hoogste, verste hoogtes.

Hietberg,

Ik ben daar, 'k ben Katja,

ik ben thuis, en ook zo koud,

mag ik door je raam binnen komen?

Ooh, het wordt zwart.

Het wordt eenzaam.

Aan de andere kant van jou.

Ik smacht heel veel, ik vind heel veel.

Zonder jouw geen geheimen meer.

Ik kom terug, lief.

Gemene Hietberg.

Geen ander, geen andere meester.

Ik dwaas te lang in het duister.

Ik kom terug naar zijn kant, zo doe ik het juiste.

Ik kom naar huis, naar mijn grootste, hoogste, verste hoogtes.

Ooh, geef het aan me.

En laat me je ziel meenemen.

Ooh, geef het aan me.

En laat me je ziel meenemen.

Je weet, ik ben daar, Katja.

### Tot je gevonden bent

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Sampai Jumpa

wat komt zal weer weggaan.

Heden wordt verleden.

Elk stuk heeft een slot, en een ontmoeting sluit met afscheid.

Begin wordt het einde.

'S nachts kan geen zon schijnen.

Vloed gaat terug naar eb, en een ontmoeting sluit met afscheid.

Hey.

Dankjewel, tot een volgende keer.

We treffen elkaar vast wel weer.

Dit besluit is wat ik accepteer.

Desondanks

kwam deze dag voor mij veels te gauw.

Mijn ontevredenheid voelt als rouw.

Maar ik wens al het beste voor jou.

### Waltz in het blauwe

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Waltz in Blue (letterlijke vertaling, moet passend gemaakt worden)

Ik wil wonen aan de kust.

Niet elke kust, maar deze kust.

Liet je me achter, dan zou ik er altijd zijn.

En wanneer het vloed wordt.

Misschien ben er niet meer.

Daar waar liefde bestond en we waren zo jong.

Tis te veel, veel, veel voor me.

De keuze wordt moeilijker.

Tis te veel, veel, veel voor me.

Een kant het meisje, andere kant de zand en de zee.

Het meisje, het zand in haar hart.

De jongen, de liefde dat zichzelf brand.

Een verloren leven door zoeken naar passende wraak.

Tis te veel, veel, veel voor me.

De keuze is niet zo duidelijk.

Tis te veel, veel, veel voor me.

Aan een kant de vrouw, de andere kant het zand en de zee.

Ik wil wonen aan de kust.

Niet elke kust, maar deze kust.

Liet je me achter, dan zou ik er altijd zijn.

### Letterlijke Hercules

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Go the Distance

I throw this stone

And I score a homerun.

I get a great huge orgasm.

Puppy eyes now I'm done.

While the camera pans to my back,

I look without a care.

the sun shines brighter every time my hands are in the air.

Now I walk alone.

These trees are enormous.

I'll just climb this one.

A massive close-up shot

Now I look up high,

For hidden words in the sky.

But my view gets ruined by a shooting star,

I look like I'm

possessed.

I leave my home,

while I'm still a minor.

Through a flower field,

Greenpeace can suck my ass.

An umbrella please,

Rock signs on the trees.

Wow, I look so beaten down,

and I see a temple there.

Now I ride a horse, better late than never.

Look, without any hands.

Now I hold on, and let go.

Flying like a drunk in the sky, luckily there's no police nearby.

And the horse looks disturbing as I fly in your face, to the sun

### Nu dat ik een vrouw ben

*(EXPAND DONG)>*

Now That I'm a Woman (Last Unicorn)

Eens,

kan me niet herinneren.

Ik was lang gelee

iemand vreemd.

Ik was ontschuldig en wijs

en gevuld met pijn.

Nu dat ik een vrouw ben,

is alles zo vreemd.

Eens,

toen ik nog zoekende was.

Naar een vreemde plek,

heel ver weg.

Dat niet te vinden was

of te vertrouwen was

Nu dat ik een vrouw ben,

ben anders dan voorheen.