Orlin Fights

Okay, so this is how this is gonna work. I'm gonna type up fights for now. When I do, the details will heave their own pages, so that the arc summaries aren't behemoths. Only important details will be there, and I will link to 'Fights' pages there, as well as on any pages where this would be relevant.

OKAY

## vs. Will-o-Wisps & Bad Weather

As we approach Orlin, some of the clouds seem to shift and twirl, and a speck of light begins moving out. Smoke begins emitting from it and leaves the atmosphere, reaching out towards the ship as well. Vigil makes the call to make evasive maneuvers, and Sheevah begins to back up. Sheevah and Vigil try to yell to Gerome that they need him to back up, but he takes too long, and the smoke reaches the ship and engulfs it. There are cracks of lightning and thunder, and are in the center of the storm; roll initiative! The tiny balls of blue and yellow flickering light come closer to the ship, and they emit lightning, hurting some of us. Vigil does a dope hit but it doesn't take as much damage as he was expecting. The winds pick up, and Sheevah and Vigil fall, and Sheevah's swept off the side of the ship. Creon misty steps and manages to catch her wrist, and pull her aboard. Sheevah tells Zephi to charm one of the balls of light, which gets distracted. Gerome throws a ray of frost, and Vigil hits as well, but all this isn't doing as much damage as we expect. Lightning hits the ship as well. Gerome tries something new: he casts arcane weapon on his mage hand to throw a thunder punch. Wildly cool. But it does miss. Less cool. Vigil's hit with lightning but absorbs half the damage and the Starfather's axe begins to crackle with electricity. The gem at the top glows with the energy. Creon hits the balls of energy with radiant energy and one flickers out. Creon hits one, but then shortly after another ball pops out of nowhere. Sheevah cures Gerome, and then Gerome cures himself but tries to hide it. Vigil's hit with more electricity by two of them, but these things have an AC of over 17 so he mises when he tries to hit again.

This is going poorly.

A strong southwesterly wind knocks both Sheevah and Creon off the ship, and Zephi frantically messages Gerome to let him know, and tell him to 'go go go'. Gerome uses his action to go Full Speed Ahead while Vigil grabs the wheel, and tries some Evasive Maneuvers and tilts the ship quite a bit and goes into a bit of freefall. One of the will o wisps follows sheevah and creon down to the bottom of the boat, where they are now floating in space. Then it passes through the wall to hit Gerome. Creon lassos a rope to his crossbow and manages to afix his arrow onto the sail, and Sheevah tries to pull them in a bit. Vigil is hit by a Huge amount of lightning, Creon is also hit by a lot. Vigil uses an evasive maneuver and gets the ship to pull the rope taught, so Sheevah and Creon are now 20ft from the rudder, which is promptly struck by lightning. Vigil takes a bit of damage and asks someone to heal him. Creon pulls them onto the ship, and grabs his spiritual weapon and fucks up some orbs, and one disappears. Zephi gives out some bardic inspiration to Gerome. Sheevah pats Vigil on the back, healing him, and Gerome summons his Force Ballista, but misses hitting the orbs. Vigil yells for everyone to brace and decides to dive the ship, directly down. The turret explodes as it hits the ceiling. Lightning hits the hull, minorly sparking Vigil, and the ship takes more damage.

Creon uses bane on two of the orbs, and then brings his spiritual weapon down but misses. These orbs have an AC of 18. Zephi runs down to Gerome and gets ready to hit an enemy if they come down. The storm runs out of orbs and can't throw anymore at us, meaning it capped out at 5. Gerome steps on the gas and the ship pulses forward. One of the orbs tries to hit the rudder but misses, another hits the Guildroman sails, and a third descends to attack the sails and rips them up more. Vigil looks to see where the edge of the storm is, and is struck by cow blindness. He yet again yells brace and drops the ship. **Gerome dabs**. Clouds obscure the deck, making it difficult terrain. Zephi returns to the deck, and finds the edge of the storm is downwards, same way as we're headed, and tells Vigil to keep going. The lightning and thunder of the storm boom and strike the core for 19 points of damage, and shocks Gerome as well. Sheevah ties herself into the rope that Creon is also tied to. The rudder takes some serious fire damage and remains on fire. Creon mans his cannon and calls his spiritual weapon. The hull is hit by lightning, as are Creon and Vigil. Gerome shuts off the air on the ship, so the fire on the rudder shuts off. Orbs back, Vigil and Sheevah are hit with lightning, Vigil tilts the ship down, and snow and ice batter the ship. Vigil rolls bad again. He picks new dice. He rolls again. It is worse. (3:55:00). With 30 minutes left in the session, Vigil is at 5 health, Sheevah at 2, Gerome at 4. Creon fires the cannon. Zephi casts thunderwave but it misses. The speed of the ship is reduced to because of all the winds.

Gerome turns the air back on, kicks the engine on hard, and blasts them out of the storm. Having been in the storm so long, we're now in the atmosphere of Orlin, and no longer fighting the storm. We discover Jerry's d20 has an air bubble at 4, and he should really stop using it now. #Cowblindness. We try to land the ship, and in the middle of it going Very badly, Creon heals himself. We keep rolling to land. We narrowly miss the storm, and coast onto the snow and icy surface of Orlin. Its a large open icy area, but in the distance, there are the tips of some mountains. Creon runs down and yells for Gerome to stop, and the ship stops. In the distance, 25 of the orbs pop out and then suddenly disappear.

## vs. Bulette Boi & The Sinking Ship

The main deck of the ship is about 2 feet above the ice, with the rest of it sinking beneath. Vigil's up; he runs up to and climbs up the side of the ship. Zephi runs up to the ship and tries to cast faerie fire on anything below the ice that could be trying to drag the ship down. Something flashes for a second before fading. Creon gets on board, and immediately runs down to go save War Toad. Gerome gets under the deck and trudges through the water to collect Eenie, Meanie, Minie, and Mo in their hamster balls, and and revs the engine. Sheevah & Fuzzy Wuzzy run to the ship and manage to climb aboard. The ship continues to sink, and everyone on the top deck is standing in ankle deep water; Gerome and Creon see water pouring in from above.

Vigil starts pulling the ship up, and Zephi jumps aboard. Creon wades over to War Toad and tries to pick him up, but the lil man won't let Creon pick him up. Creon summons his spiritual weapon outside and attempts to shatter the ice around the ship, but is unsure if it worked. Gerome and Creon start hearing a deep, wooping-like laser like sounds coming from underneath the ship. Gerome fuckin' floors it. Sheevah holds tight to both Fuzzy Wuzzy and the railing trying to see if she can see anything happening under the ship, but she can only see a vague shadow moving. She casts Eldritch Blast down at the ice to make it easier for the ship to move, but it scatters on the surface of the ice in a ray of sparks. The ship sinks a bit lower, and our boys down below take damage as the cold water rises above their heads.

Vigil silently prays the Starfather, and pulls up on the tiller, and the ship starts to move out of the ice. Gerome and Creon's heads are out of water, at least. Zephi jumps and climbs up the mast, and whistles her four notes to give Vigil bardic inspiration. Creon tries again to pick up War toad, but can't, so he tries to use his spiritual weapon on where he heard the sound. Darcy goes to get something from his room and we are all afraid. Suddenly, a creature bursts through the hull of the ship, splintering the wood and causing more water to pour in. The creature has a sharp jaw, with ragged teeth cut through; strong arms, and a sleek gray body-- it's a landshark. It's whooping sounds are described as awful but in reality are kind of cute if we're being real. It moves back, still in the ship but away from the hull.

Gerome makes a run for it, as he can use his mage hand to control the core, and gets 30 feet away; he yells to the rest of the crew to alert us.

> Gerome: "Uh hey, bad thing? Down here."
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> Vigil: "Yeah I know, Creon's still down there"
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> Gerome: "Uh, maybe not for long."
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> Vigil: "Oh, good. [beat] Oh no--"
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Sheevah climbs down, still clinging to the ladder, and shoots Eldritch Blast at the landshark, but the spell scatters across the water, and she climbs back up. Creon just watches as this happens directly next to him. He braces against the cold water and doesn't take any damage. Vigil feels bardically inspired and manages to steer the ship up and clear out of the water. The bulette-- (another term for the landshark) remains inside the ship. Zephi finishes climbing up the mast and prepares to hit something if need be. Creon tries to use his last spell slot for a guiding bolt, but swings wide and misses, so makes his war to War Toad and preps to grapple him to haul him to a higher deck. He uses his spiritual weapon and hits, but it's not a huge knock to the bulette. But the boi wants revenge; he lunges for Creon, who's knocked prone and takes.... a heavy hit. Creon was already bad off, and sustains enough damage to nearly kill him-- he's knocked unconscious and the toad is also hit. [2:10:00] "The Toad Has Armor" is the only thing said, in this order: Nick, Elizabeth, Julia, Jerry, Darcy, Laura. We all just said, one after the other, "The Toad Has Armor." I don't know if it's just because I'm hungry, but this was simply hilarious to me. War Toad Is Down, however, and at 0 HP. Creon's at like negative twenty something, if you're curious. It is also apparently crucial to note that Creon went down silently, because as Julia stated, "He's too proud for that."

Gerome, overwhelmed, preps to put the ship in break check whenever Creon and the Toad are out of harm's way. Sheevah decides to grab a rope and tie it around Creon & the toad, and tie all three of them to the mast.

Sheevah notices that Bulette Boi's eyes are glowing red, and blood is pouring out of them-- and his weird noises sound more hurt/scared/ confused than anything. Vigil tilts the ship, and Gerome throws us in reverse. Sheevah manages to hold her, Creon, and the Toad in place, (remember that those two are also unconscious right now!!) and the Bulette tries to hang on to the side of hole, but it slips through, and plops into the water below.

Zephi asks how it's going down below, blissfully unaware of the Bulette's existence. Zephi slides down the rope ladder to go help. Creon fails a death saving throw. As does the toad. Like father like son, I suppose.

Gerome dashes to look for his boys. Darcy rolls a die.

> Nick: ...is that a d4?
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> Darcy (nodding): 4. Give me a perception check.
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> Nick, the highest I have ever heard his voice: ....it's a 1
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> Darcy: You don't see them anywhere.
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> Nick: No! That was my turn? Loss? Ugh, Gerome can't have anything good happen to him. Dead friends, dead pets, lost limbs....
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Sheevah digs through Creon's person for his potions and uses one on him. Creon wakes up and spits out water, coughing. Vigil goes to steer us toward the settlement, and rolls a nat 20... and then a 3, because he had disadvantage. Zephi heals War Toad and looks around at a battered crew, having taken 0 damage since leaving Keller. Darcy reveals that the attack that knocked Creon out could have one-shotted him.

## vs. SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! EVERYBODY!

Barren, shortly after entering the Sloe-Down, starts asking us who we are, and introductions are exchanged. Gerome tries to chug something but vomits. Zephi flirts with Barren lightly, but he starts it. Vigil, Gerome, and Barren chat about repairing the ship, and Vigil asks for Barren's story. Barren said he's made some mistakes-- Vigil asks if he was chasing after a boy, and both Barren and Sellis try to sweep it under the rug, and Barren opts to tell some fun stories. He then invites us to a drinking contest. Game on. If someone can drink Barren under the table, he'll pay for our drinks and give us 50% off at his store.

Barren gets Sellis to give us some whiskey, and Sellis, who seems exhausted by Barren, rejects joining the contest himself. We get to drinking. Creon also says no. We all start with as many drinks as our con mods, so Barren takes 4 shots before we begin. Gerome feels ill and runs to the bathroom to vomit, but everyone else is fine.

Gerome sneaks over to the bar to talk to Sellis, who, on prompting, says he "could do without" Barren. Gerome tries to convince Sellis to join or slip Barren some fire whiskey and Creon tries to tip the scale as well. Sellis thinks about it, and sits down, and Barren says he has to drink 6 shots to get caught up. He does 5 drinks in a row and looks unfazed. Barren looks enamored, but not surprised. Gerome distracts Barren with his mage hand while Sellis drops the fire whiskey in his drink. Barren fails both the drink and extra fire whiskey check, and *breathes fire*. Zephi and Gerome duck, but Vigil takes some damage; he also fails the check and gets nauseous. Barren doesn't know what's happening, and is blind, but chooses to roll with it. Sellis fails, and Creon stealthily casts Create Water, to water down all of our drinks. Sellis notices and sends him a wink. Zephi, Sheevah, and Sellis all roll nat20s. Vigil fails again. Creon fills our glasses with water again, and we all succeed. Another shot, DC now at 17. Vigil slumps into his chair, man down! Cow down! Zephi fails too.

DC 18, DC 19 for Barren. Sheevah passes out. Gerome's out. Only Sellis, Zephi, and Barren are left; Creon casts Enhance Ability on Sellis, (rule of cool) and gets inspiration for his trouble. Barren fails-- and fully collapses. It's now Zephi on Sellis, and Zephi *saw* Creon cast the spell, so she stares him down. With only Sellis and Zephi remaining, Zephi gives herself bardic inspiration, JUST passes the DC, wipes her mouth, flips her cup, and forfeits to Sellis.

## vs. Bulette Boi, Take 2/Take Barren

The Bulette leaps out and wraps around Sheevah who screams bloody murder. Fuzzy Wuzzy falls off of her back and onto the ground-- the land shark dives down and brings her to a snowy cavern. Barren hears Sheevah and goes running after her. Zephi follows close behind and casts Faerie Fire, and both Sheevah and the Bulette light up in pink light. It burrows under the ground, but with the faerie fire we can see it's somewhere underneath a pillar in a snowy cavern that we're now at the entrance of. Gerome summons his Force ballista, and Vigil dashes to get inside the cave and Barren gets ready to hit the bulette if he pops up again. Sheevah tries to understand what this bulette's deal is to no avail. Zephi tries to figure out if Barren is up to fighting this thing, and moves between Vigil and Barren, and gets ready to throw her spear. The bulette burrows farther underground, and Gerome makes Force Ballista and War Toad move ahead of him. Vigil uses Earth Tremor, and the bulette manages to absorb the shocks without problem, but Sheevah's hit by a small rock and takes some damage.

Sheevah tries once again to understand this land shark child, and rolls a nat 20, but it's a secret. Sheevah screams for us all to stop, but we can't hear her through the rock. She waves her arms, and we can see her outline due to faerie fire, but we can't understand what she means. Barren runs around a pillar and gets ready to hit the bulette if it pops up. Zephi runs and tries to position herself better and messages Sheevah;

> Zephi: Are you okay??
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> Sheevah: Yes! Okay! STOP!!
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Zephi yells and tells everyone to stop, so loud the cave shakes. Everything is suddenly calm and still. Beneath the rock, Sheevah feels the Bulette let go of her, softly... before *leaping* up through the stone, doused in faerie fire, directly into the fray. We have this bad boy FLANKED, and nearly everyone has a readied action. Barren misses but only barely, Vigil manages to get a hit in, slicing through the bulette for a bit of damage. It leaps up again and makes a deadly leap, and Zephi, Barren, and Vigil try to roll out of the way, but all three of us fail. We take an IMMENSE amount of damage. 34, for the record. Barren and Zephi are instantly out.

Gerome tries to sneak around a corner, but the bulette sees him. He brings the Force Ballista forward to distract it-- it misses but is distracted. Gerome fires a shart, but it misses. Sheevah crawls her way out of the hole, sees Zephi and Barren unconscious and heals them just enough to wake them up, and then spins around to hit the bulette with her glave, and just hits because we flank it; the glave comes down and slices through its back. Barren awakes, disengages, and gets the fuck away, Zephi heals herself, and messages the Bulette a lullaby in an attempt to soothe it; the bulette seems to calm down, and Zephi puts her hands out to everyone to stop, but suddenly it spins around and slashes into Sheevah, who falls unconscious before it once again burrows deep under the ground. Gerome moves his turret up the wall to cover him, and grabs on so he's now hanging from the ceiling. Vigil gets ready to grapple the bulette if it tries to hurt or grab Sheevah or Barren. After her nat 20 death save, Sheevah hears a soft voice say, "Get up, dear" and those watching her see her entire body go crystalline. In her mind, floating through space, Sheevah sees the face of Aether, who roars, which everyone in the cave also hears, and Sheevah is brought to standing, hands on her glave, eyes white, and heals herself. The crystal fades, and she's ready to fight again.

Barren gets ready to hit the land shark with his hand axe, and asks if this is a normal thing for us. Yeah, sorry buddy. Zephi heals him all the way up to full, and tries to get everyone calm (with a nat20). Suddenly the bulette bursts out from the ground beside War Toad. Due to a Nat 1 and War Toad's skills, he's able to dodge the land shark, who lands badly and falls prone. For the fifth time, Gerome yells "War Toad! Evasive Maneuver Alpha!" there is no response, and Gerome falls to the ground. He moves to hide behind a pillar and is super loud about it. Vigil puts his axe away on Sheevah's suggestion, puts his shield in front of him, and speaks softly to the bulette in an attempt to calm it down. The land shark just breathes and seems to slow down. Sheevah makes a show of putting her glave away, which doesn't seem to register but it doesn't freak out. Barren backs up a bit. Zephi messages to it again the same little song and gets a 22 on animal handling.

Even after all this, after the bulette seems to be almost sleepy, and completely calm, it suddenly burrows again, and pops up beside Gerome and it's jaws clamp down around him, and they disappear under the rock together straight down. Because none of us rolled a natural 20 on animal handling. Gerome pulls his escape hatch, but it doesn't work. His turret walks down. Vigil moves and pulls out his ax. Sheevah says something to Aether. Barren gets overwhelmed by everything and taunts the bulette to pick on him instead. Zephi moves and yells at Barren not to, and he puts his ax away and gets ready to cast faerie fire.

Under the rock, Gerome feels the bulette's jaws clamp down. Darcy asks Nick how much HP he has, and there's a Looong pause. Gerome feels the jaws go slack, and is left under the rock as the bulette comes crashing out of the ground once more to grapple Barren. It rolls a nat 20. There were so many crits in this fight its unfathomable. I didn't even write them all down. good lord. Zephi's faerie fire misses, and Barren and the bulette disappear under the earth. Gerome, now five feet underground, manages to crawl back up.In Sheevah's ears, Aether says;

> *"Child. I am blind, you are my eyes. But from what I can see, this creature is blind as well. **Find its eyes."***
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Gerome pulls out his boom stick and we all scream at him not to. Sheevah tries to taunt the bulette, but nothing happens. Zephi messages Barren; the tune, 'Birthday candles, evening star" pops into her head, and she sings it giving him bardic inspiration. Barren responds;

> Zephi, that's very kind, its-- it's not hurting me. Um, but we're moving.
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Zephi gets the sense the bulette is no longer with the intent to hurt Barren, thanks to her calming it, but then the message drops off, like he's gone out of range, and she screams. She figures out that it's headed back in the direction of Hitrivill, and Sheevah starts feeling the walls for a cavitation or clue. Zephi yells to tell everyone that it's headed south, and sets off running. Vigil hops on a moose, we grab the animals, (War Toad wholly unfazed) and jump on the moose. The turret follows too. Vigil and Zephi on one moose, everyone else on the other.

## vs. The Shitty Scientist

1:37:00

> *Drorena, longsword drawn, moving toward us*: "Unhand. The gate."
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Drorena swings down and Vigil puts his shield up to block it, and Drorena hits again and slashes through Vigil's chest. Zephi tries to Charm Drorena instead of hurting them, to no avail-- she urges the moose to move toward the gate instead, and on a nat 20 animal handling, the moose helps buck her into the air so she has a head start. She's on the top of the gate, ready to swing down when Drorena reaches into their back pocket, pulls out a sending stone, and says, "Right, we have company," before putting it away and swinging down to strike Vigil. It hits him in the shoulder, and after staggering for a moment, he collapses, unconscious.

Gerome attempts to pick the lock, and suddenly a pin drops and tumbles out and the gate opens. Zephi hangs on tight at the top, and Gerome moves into the courtyard. Immediately, several ballista-looking turrets pop up from stones along the inside of the walls, poised to fire, and Gerome's turret moves up beside him. The turret, as well as Sheevah, try to hit the defense turrets but miss-- Sheevah also urges her moose to charge the ten feet of the courtyard in an attempt to get to the door, but it's too scared to move.

Suddenly we hear a voice shout, "HEY!" and we turn-- Sellis has appeared and grabbed Drorena from behind.

> Sellis: Hey, uh, WHAT'S going on??
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> All of us: They've got Barren, a land shark took Barren under the lab and we need to get through!
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> Sellis, pointing to Drorena: And they've got something to do with this?
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> Us: Yes!
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> Sellis: Okay, I've got them.
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Sellis full bodies them, and tackles them to the ground. Zephi slides down from the gate, and moves up to cast thunderwave. The turrets start sparking but manage to stay standing, but the door goes blasting inward. Zephi runs forward and manages to make it to the door. Drorena swings back to try and get out of Sellis' grip, but can't manage it. Sheevah heals up Vigil, and he'd finally conscious again. One turret aims for Zephi and blows fire at her, and though she's resistant, she falls to the ground unconscious. The other turret aims for Gerome's turret and blows it to smithereens, but Gerome immediately summons another turret-- a first-timer, the Defender. Vigil runs into the courtyard and swings the Starfather's axe down on one of the turrets, which explodes in a shower of sparks as the axe gleams. Sheevah blasts the other with eldritch energy, but it doesn't seem too hurt.

Sellis screams out and asks where they're taking Barren-- Sheevah clarifies we think he's in the lab, but we're not sure. Apparently, Sellis never trusted this place. He moves to sock Drorena in the jaw, but misses. Oh no. Drorena manages to break out of Sellis' grapple, knocking him backward and swings their longsword down across his chest. Sellis staggers back and nearly faints. The remaining turret fires at Gerome, but his own turret takes the damage and stays standing, before moving closer to Zephi, who pops up with some temporary HP. Gerome runs up to Vigil and slaps a Hello Kitty bandaid on him.

Vigil puts his axe away and does a goring rush at the turret, and it somehow stays standing. Sheevah blasts Drorena, and whips into their back, knocking them into Sellis, and sending them both down to the ground prone. Sellis uses a bottle of sloe-gin he has to try and hit Drorena, but it misses and shatters.

2:17:40, Elizabeth informs us, "Guys I think there's a chance that Kobe Bryant just died." "What?!" "In a helicopter crash in California." A siren blares. We all take a few minutes.

2:21:00, Zephi casts shatter above the remaining defensive lab turret, a hugely painful sound erupts and the turret begins to shake, then calms, before the top of it blows off into the sky, still leaving some ringing in everyone's ears, as she swifly heals herself for a few points. Drorena slashes twice at Sellis, but he manages to dodge both attacks. Gerome runs in the entrance of the lab, which leads to something i'll have to draw. 2:24:00

Gerome approaches the door with dots, but doesn't know what it could be. He can tell, on a closer look, that the square buttons with 1, 2, 3, and 7 dots look most frequently used. Vigil runs up to protect Sellis, and gets ready to attack Drorena if need. Sheevah moves up too, and casts Arms of Hadar, most of which they bat off, though several are able to grab hold and cause some damage. Sellis uses the less-broken half of his Sloe-Gin bottle to hit at Drorena again, but misses. Zephi hears this happening, moves toward them all just far enough to cast sleep on Drorena. They waver for a moment before falling unconscious, and Sheevah immediately starts tying them up. We're out of combat!

## vs. The Forty Foot Drop

Gerome goes to walk across the stone bridge, completely cavalierly, and the moment his foot touches down, he feels a stone underfoot depress, the stones across the pathway light up, the violet light from the ground winks out, and a torch on the other side of the bridge alights with the same violet-colored flame. Small openings in the wall appear, and ice water begins pouring down, filling the chasm below, and the stone doorway on landing opposite ours slams shut.

As the water begins to rise, we see the shapes on the ground begin to move, and suddenly can tell they're waterlogged bodies and skeletons.

Zephi steps in front of Gerome, and throws pebbles at each stone before she steps on it. Luckily, nothing falls. Gerome, Sheevah, and Vigil follow, going as far as they can, before Sellis calls out, "uh, that light turned off! The violet light at the bottom of the chasm turned off when Gerome stepped on that thing. And now there's one over the doorway. I dunno? Something about that seems important?" before moving as far as he can forward.

The water is rising rapidly, and is now close to our feet; bodies litter the surface. Zephi yells for everyone to grab hands, and uses prestidigitation to make the torch under the water alight. It does, the light over the doorway flickers out, and the water recedes. Nice!

## vs A Hag & a Traitor

Zephi sings to message the Bulette to soothe it, but it just gets restless. The two figures notice and the Elf tells to purple figure to find out what’s caused it, and sends the Bulette to go look. Everyone scoots back, and Zephi messages one more time, just as the massive land shark rounds the corner. It looks at us curiously and almost looks hurt. We see the purple figure grab the heartstone in the middle of the room and suddenly the Bulette’s eyes flair, and it lets out a cry.

> Hag: We have intruders!
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She can see through its eyes!

Zephi casts Heat Metal on the Elf’s armor, and he calls out to get her first. Sheevah spits acid at the Heartstone and pillar, which starts melting. The Bulette rears back and screams, as though its affected as well, and she moves backward. Gerome uses his mage hand to grab the heartstone, and the hag tries to grab it back but misses. Gerome pulls it to himself and investigates; it’s the core of the casting range and abilities of a hag, and it seems to be what’s controlling the Bulette. The hag moves up and casts Freezing Hands, hitting Vigil, Zephi, and the Bulette, but Vigil especially hard.

The elf approaches one of the goo stacks, taking his blade and stabbing through. Inside it seems like there’s a body that’s been sitting there for quite some time, and, after grabbing a talisman that hangs from his neck, causes the body to reanimate; he’s killed someone and brought them back as a zombie, which steps forward.

Meanwhile. Creon has been forced to be conscious this entire time; he recalls being incapacitated and then wrapped up in something soft and gooey. He can see a faint yellow glow, and can swear he can see Barren across from him.

Sellis, gay romantic bastard, jumps over the side of the parapet, lands badly, and scrambles over to Barren, and then up to the zombie, who’s right in front of his unconscious not-boyfriend. He takes out a dagger and swings, but misses entirely. Vigil leaps over the side and also lands badly, pulls out the starfather axe and swings; blood and guts spill out everywhere.

Zephi jumps down, ALSO landing badly, and runs over to the nearest gooey thing, which looks like it has a body in it like the other one did. Hey, if bald elf used it for himself, maybe we can get a zombie on our side? She uses thaumaturgy to start melting it, and she suddenly sees a familiar wrist and silver banglet. CREON!!! She keeps up the heat on the bald elf as well, who’s not taking it well. Sheevah blasts the Hag and pushes her backward 10ft, and she falls prone. Gerome shatters the Heartstone, and the red in the Bulette’s eyes flickers out. It shakes the fiendish energy off of itself, and, smart enough to understand who’s its real enemy, turns toward the hag and does a deadly leap on her, and she takes some serious damage. She stabs up and claws at the Bulette, who takes serious damage in return.

The bald elf charges forward at Zephi, and pulls out two guns to fire at her, but misses both times. Zephi turns her eyes gold to look at him, and laughs. Creon can feel someone reaching for him but can’t quite break out.

Sellis moves forward to flank the zombie, and pulls out a bottle and crashes it into his head. Vigil slams his axe into it, and this undead fuck is officially Not Looking Good.  Zephi grabs a hold of Creon’s hand, and wrenches him out; he explodes out of the goo, gasping for breath. Zephi tries to help him stand upright and moves behind him, continuing to heat the metal on the bald elf, who looks bloodied.

> Uthorim: Come on then. Fight for your empire. What are you going to do? Show them what you’ve been raised to do! Vulmir!
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>

> *Creon slowly draws his sword and looks at Zephi.*
>
>

Sheevah blasts that motherfucking zombie into nonexistence. He explodes, covering Sellis and Vigil. Gerome yells, Yahtzee! And then strolls down the stairs at a leisurely pace, and then gets right next to Barren.
The hag slashes at the bulette, and it’s looking bloodied, and tries to attack back but misses.

> Uthorim: So, stand by your emperor, stand by your regent, stand by me. Stand by the Conclave and you will /rewarded/ Creon.
>
>

1:49:00

> *Uthorim moves to hit at Zephi, and his rapier slices through her. Creon steps in between the two.*
>
>

> Creon: Lieutent, of course I am compelled to obey you, could we not use these warriors for the greater good of the empire? Surely it would be a waste to strike them down now.
>
>

> Uthorim: They have become a problem, and I don’t want to deal with them any further.
>
>

> Creon: I can persuade them—
>
>

> Uthorim: Strike them down where they stand, sergeant.
>
>

> Creon: Yes.
>
>

> *Creon grabs Zephi’s arm and evades eye contact with her. He tries to make it look like he’s hurting her, but casts Protection from Good and Evil. Shimmering gold and black energy envelops her. Uthorim clocks Creon’s move immediately. 1:52:05*
>
>

> Uthorim: So you’ve chosen… them. You’ve chosen mortality.
>
>

> Creon: I just need more time.
>
>

> Uthorim: For *what*?
>
>

> Creon: I can get them on our side, I just—
>
>

> Uthorim: No, Creon.
>
>

> Creon: This is a waste! They’re powerful.
>
>

> Uthorim: You can die.
>
>

Zephi… feels strange.

Sellis runs at Uthorim but misses, and Vigil throws his spear at Uthorim but it hits the wall instead.

1:54:30 Zephi feels strange. The voices abruptly fade for the first time, and she bursts into full Zephi mode, and she beginning laughing maniacally, and grabs the metal on his neck and heats it further, still laughing. Meanwhile, Sheevah blasts the Hag again, pushing her back. Gerome takes a gamble and spreads the mud from one of his jars over him before getting up and moving toward one of the goo sacks. The hag, now away from the bulette and disengaged, moves towards the goo egg as well.

> Ulla: Hello little one. I’ve been in your dreams.
>
>

> Gerome: Oh NO.
>
>

The hag blasts him with cold energy which stiffens him and hurts like a bitch. Uthorim, on the other side of the room, eyes the three surrounding him, Zephi, Creon, and Sellis, and makes a judgment call on who’s the weakest. He pulls out his rapier and stabs into Sellis, and pulls back without mercy. He clutches at his stomach before staggering and falling backward to the ground unconscious.
2:03:55 Creon grabs Uthorim’s jaw and pulls him around to make direct eye contact with Creon, who says;

> “I will die, yes. I will die well. There is nothing as sacred as this; the gift of an ending. Let me give you one.”
>
>

and casts inflict wounds, and just… it’s brutal. Creon grips tightly around Uthorim’s neck and everyone watches as the elf goes, rapidly, through the stages of life; aging in seconds, skin beginning to flake away. He crumples to the ground, a sack of bones heaving, and watches the light leave his eyes. (Julia: “If that’s okay?”) 2:06:04
Before he dies, Uthorim tries desperately to convince Creon to change his mind;

>
>
> Uthorim: Creon. You’re giving up /eternal life/, and damning this universe to death.
>
>

> *Creon cocks his eyebrow. Uthorim’s hair grows white, and long, his teeth begin to yellow and decay.*
>
>

> Uthorim: You know what? I don’t feel so bad about Elisar anymore.
>
>

> *And drops,* dead*.*
>
>

Sellis succeeds on a death saving throw, and Vigil uses ice knife and crits as the blade digs into her back and explodes. Zephi runs over and heals Sellis as Uthorim crumbles. Sheevah tries to blast the hag one more but hits the wall. Gerome calls out his lil projector box and starts… playing porn, and is only vaguely perturbed. Gerome sneaks around one of the goo boys and hides. The hag swings around and casts freezing hand, hitting Vigil and Zephi, who both manage to duck and take less than expected. The hag creeps around the goo glop and looms over Gerome now.

Creon launches his guiding bolt at the hag, but the energy hits the wall instead. The bulette moves up to the hag and leaps at her; Gerome takes some damage too, getting knocked out. Sellis tries to throw his bottle at her, but it crashes into the ground instead; Vigil tries a lightning lure, but she smacks it off. Zephi casts sleep on the hag, but it doesn’t affect her. Sheevah jumps down and lands badly too—she heals herself and moves to better hit the hag later. Gerome fails a death saving throw. Ulla is standing between the very unconscious Gerome and the very bloody land    shark, and we take a brief pause as Darcy faces the conundrum of Who To Kill. Ulla swings down on Gerome and hits—2/3 deaths. The bulette tries to hit her but just misses, entirely.

Creon tries his guiding bolt once more, but misses. Sellis runs forward and grabs the guns off of Uthorim, throwing them to Creon and Zephi, who both catch them effortlessly. Vigil runs around the other side of Goo Sack and tries to rifle through Gerome’s pockets for his healing potions, but just can’t find them in the dark.

Zephi tries to fire the gun but misses, so she whips out her lute and gives Gerome bardic inspiration from afar. Sheevah positions herself and gets ready to hit, and Gerome succeeds a death throw. Ulla and the bulette both swing and miss each other. Creon throws a guiding bolt one more time, and hits with beautiful precision, even with some extra cover from the bulette, and she’s covered in glittering light. He raises his other hand, and sends Gerome a feeling; the calm between life and death. As he does this, he sees a golden sword pass his right arm and extend outwards, and golden light envelops Gerome. Sellis runs over to kneel beside Barren, as Vigil grabs and pulls Gerome behind him, and raises his shield to cover them both. Zephi attempts to message the bulette but can’t really get through. Sheevah waits for a clear shot to Eldritch Blast this bitch. The hag runs to strike at Vigil, and hits; he’s super bloodied, but the hag is now in sight. Sheevah tries to fire at her, but she still has too much cover.

Creon decides, you know, fuck it, this day is already weird enough, and runs up to the hag, grabbing her to try and do some damage, but the spell isn’t strong enough and she shrugs it off, turning to him, ready to strike. Sellis, meanwhile, gets to work on Barren, trying to bring him to consciousness; we hear some coughing before Barren groggily says, “where the hell am I?” and Sellis grabs him up, holding him firmly in a hug.

Vigil, bloody and leaning on the wall, manages to swing his axe at this hag, and CRITS. She’s not dead but she’s looking very, very bad off. Zephi tries to throw some faerie fire at this bitch but it whiffs; Sheevah blasts her and it knicks her elbow; I can’t stress enough, the Hag was at 3 hit points before this. Sheevah did 2 damage. Now the hag is at 1 HP. Oh my god.

The hag uses all her strength to claw viscously at Vigil, who doesn’t have time or energy to move his shield up, and catches them right across his chest. He slumps down, unconscious. While she’s occupied, Creon tries to hit her in the back of the head, but she moves just in time and the mace collides with the wall, and Creon has to yank it out again as she looks back with feral, glowing eyes. Vigil gets a nat1 on his death saving throw.

Creon hasn’t taken a lick of damage this entire combat, so Zephi, still in full Zephi mode and laughing about it, decides it’s worth it to cast thunderwave at both him and the hag and just trust he can manage. The righteous fury of a thousand suns enters Zephi, and she points at the hag and lets out a huge whip of energy, sparks crackling around her, and it hits both Creon and the hag, shaking the walls, the sound of cackling echoing all around them. The hag turns just in time to see this, crashing into the wall, her flesh peeling off of her before exploding.

Sheevah stands, unable to do anything. The party yells at Creon to stabilize Vigil, and he does, casting Spare the Dying and ending our initiative.

Wow!!!

## vs. A Lawyer

The gong is rung. Sheevah covers Fuzzy Wuzzy’s eyes. Schwippers calls upon his magic item and suddenly, beep beep! An arcane vehicle made of copper and brass, with a small smoke stack at the back, comes erupting onto the battlefield. Schwippers possesses the car; Gerome begins to sweat with lust. He is completely taken. Schwippers floors it, and hits Haige with all he’s got, and Hage’s body goes flying and he skids on the ice.

Haige pleads with Drorena to drop the case, and Drorena coldly says no. Haige runs forward and tries to hit the car, but it bounces off easily. Schwippers tries to ram him again, but Hage knows better this time and scoots out of the way. He gathers himself, yells, and smashes his sword against Scwippers, fucking up the rims. Schwippers pulls back and goes for it one more time, but skids. Zephi lends more bardic inspiration. Creon tries to blast Schwippers with a damaging spell, but it bounces off the ice. The party looks at him in disbelief.

Haige takes off running, readying a crossbow and shooting, landing two pretty good hits on his back wheels. Sheevah heals him a bit, and Schwippers speeds up to hit him, and manages to just barely slam into him again, and wipes the floor with him. We hear an unsettling crunch, and there’s a stain of blood on the ice. We’re released from our chains, and Creon kneels to say a prayer for the body.

## vs. An Automated Asshole

Gerome figures out the door’s got an arcane lock. Gerome sets about picking it, as nobody has knock or dispel magic. The ceiling and floor of the ship begin to hum and glow blue, crackling with energy. Creon investigates, but can’t find an outlet or exposed electrics like he’s hoping for. He hits at the door, but whatever energy that comes with the gold dust is boosting its security, and it bounces right off. Zephi whips out Aldour’s ID and metals out from her bag but can’t find where to push it, so she tries her fancy new Heat Metal, and the edges of the controls start to melt, but only a bit. It’s not unusable. Sheevah searches for Uthorim or Aldour’s possessions in their cots, and finds a few odds and ends, including a series of four stone tablets with a series of symbols in a small case.

The floor and ceiling begin to crack with electric energy. Gerome, Vigil, and Schwippers take a great bit of damage, but Vigil absorbs that fuckin element into his axe. That’s so good. His fur goes all static-y and he looks like a blowdried cow; Zephi touches it to get some static too. Schwippers heals Gerome a bit, who already isn’t looking great, so he can go back to work.

Vigil tries to smash his axe into the glass but he glances off, so he tries again; but misses worse. Gerome can’t get through, and the security system seems to kick back in, as the ceiling and floor begin to hum once again. Creon runs up to where Zephi is to see if there’s any opening to the electrical control panels; there are some openings through which Creon can see arcane wire bundles exposed, and casts create water inside the dashboard. Water flows through the circuitry. All of us make dex saving throws. Oops. Everyone but Zephi fails, and is mildly electrocuted, so Creon gives Gerome, looking the worst off, a quick healing word. As he casts it, he could swear he sees a flash of red hair to his left—nothing is there when he looks, but he feels a drop of blood roll down his cheek.

Zephi waves his metals around and tries to make something happen, but no. She investigates around, and notices there’s a pocket on the iron grate floor that glows brighter than the rest. Beneath the metal grating, she can see a glass box with tubes and wiring, with four rectangular sockets ready to accept something. She calls out to everybody to alert them to what she’s found, and then gives bardic inspiration to Gerome.

Sheevah lines up the four rectangular tablets next to each other. Will they… maybe… fit in the thing Zephi pointed out? Hmm. Maybe. But she’d have to get passed the gate. Meanwhile she heals Gerome. The floor pulses again. Jerry rolls his third nat 1 of the session. Jerry can I buy you new dice? Zephi fails and responds with a Hellish Rebuke on the grate, flames striking it and melting the grate entirely. Schwippers kneels down, and puts the tablets in the box. Each time he drops one in, the blue energy pulses until…. the electricity picks up and then fades entirely. Initiative over.