One Too Many

***One Too Many*** is a song by Professor Elemental and the fifth track on the 2018 album School of Whimsy. The song introduces Professor Zero who features again in the album's Outro.

## Music Video

   A music video for *One Too Many* was posted to YouTube on the Professor Elemental channel on 20 August 2018.

The video features a series of themed clips from various sources including *Le Voyage dans la Lune, Nosferatu* and *Duck Soup*.

## Lyrics

I had a hundred things that I'd got to do;
Dropping LP's to get a hot review,
But I was sleeping on stage, got the stoppiest moves.
I was rotten, in days I'd not got to snooze.
It's a problem, I'm dizzy, I've got the blues.
What to do? I'm too busy, can't stop to choose.
Now my Profligator engine is a possible route.
It needs a polish and repair, but I've got the tools.
Throw in a posh pith and some proper shoes,
Parts of a pocket watch and a little glob of glue,
Pull some knobs, power up, not got a lot to lose!
In a flash, Prof Two! What astronomic news!
He even looks the same as me!
(Prof Two) How do you do?
(Professor Elemental) I'm you!
(Prof Two) You're me?
(Professor Elemental) There's no stopping you!
(Prof Two) Or stopping me!
(Professor Elemental) Come on you, we've got a lot to do!
(Prof Two) Oh okay, ho ho, okay, lovely!

Refrain (Professor Elemental):
There was just one Professor
Made a couple more Professors
Then they doubled the Professors
Now there's hundreds everywhere
And every one wants to make a new one, steady
This might just be one Professor too many!
Refrain (1x)

Being me can be a burden that many don't know
Getting to every show with the heaviest load
But now there's two to flow with intelligent prose
We can do it all! Instead he says,
(Prof Two)
No! You're too big-headed, always ready to crow
I won't obey your every whim and whatever you know, I know
And my machine is remeasured to grow
A hundred new Professors already in rows
(Professor Elemental)
My God, a hundred me's, I'd have never said so
But they're all here to see, fresh as a lemony grove
From my legendary knees to my plentiful nose
They're identical, but then again you'd never know
The machine's overloaded, it's already going to blow
What a lot of scruffy sods, stop stepping on my toes!
And breaking my inventions, then messing up my shows
And rioting and wrestling, already come to blows!

(Refrain x2)

I feel as exposed as a nudist's hip
I've got a plan, time to go through with it
See, making the best me's left me bruised to bits
What we need to see's an imperfect duplicate
An imperfect me, possibly my lucid bits
Who'll never get it wrong, who wears a suit that fits
Hello, Professor Zero!
(Professor Zero)
Oh you stupid twit,
I can't believe my creator's such a foolish git.
You goon, get me all on this unusual list
My Elemental Reconnector will conclude this split

(Professor Elemental)

I get my duplicate tools and my glowing bits
Now he's rude, but I'll do it to get through this twit
He creates a huge wave that blooms through the mist
Shoots each Professor (zap), and now they don't exist
He points at me!

(Professor Zero )

Goodbye you, you won't soon be missed!

(Professor Elemental)

There's a boom, a backfire on my duplicate!
When he shoots through the roof all I had to do was this:
Retune his ray gun with my foolishness
You see, over-eager egos is a proven risk

## Song Themes

1. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9adIGy674g