Chapter 1: All I Can Say is That " I'm Here " !

CHAPTER 1: ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT " I'M HERE " !

## LOCATION---The Western Gateway Arch and the Guard Shack that is the official entrance to Vonder Village

The morning sunshine was unusually bright, so fifteen year old Caravelle reached up and pulled down the sun visor. It promised to be a very warm day for late October. She squinted through the windshield of her mother's SUV just in time to see a mileage sign with the words, " Vonder Village 19 miles " displayed on it rush by.

" It won't be long now ", Caravelle thought to herself.

During the two or more hours of their journey, Caravelle and her mother exchanged not more then a dozen comments between themselves. Caravelle knew what was going to take place today, but that did not stop her from feeling uneasy, upset, and apprehensive. Soon the entrance arch and ornamental gate and fence around Vonder Village were in view. At about two hundred feet away from the arch, Caravelle's mother pulled her Navigator SUV over onto the shoulder of the road.

" You did this to yourself, you know. No son of mine, Carl, is going to go around town dressed as and acting like a girl! ", said Mom.

" The name's 'Caravelle'. Attorney Iverson changed it last month, remember ? But we have been through this a thousand times, Mom. I can't help it if I was born perceived as a boy, but am actually a girl inside. " , replied Caravelle.

" You were born a boy, and will always be a boy. God created you, and God doesn't make mistakes !!!", retorted Mom.

In a flash, Caravelle shot back, catching Mom off guard. " That's right ! God doesn't make mistakes ! But you and dad are the ones who created me! And you two sure did make a mistake, passing your defective and tainted DNA genes and chromosomes to me when you two decided to have sex that one time, and conceived and created me, causing this condition of a girl trapped inside the body of a boy !!! "

If looks could kill, I would die a thousand deaths right now, thought Caravelle, as Mom glared directly at her, but said nothing. After a long apprehensive pause, Mom finally spoke.

" You know what to do. This place will be your new home from now on. ", was all that her mother said flatly and without emotion.

Caravelle opened the passenger door, got out, closed the door, and opened the back door of the SUV. She quickly retrieved her backpack, a small suitcase, a couple of plastic bags filled with snacks and other things, and her purse. As soon as she placed the items on the ground and closed the door, she saw the SUV lunge forward, loudly squealing the tires, make a U-turn, and speed off. A tear spilled down her cheek as she saw the SUV disappear into the horizon. Caravelle thought to herself, " To my mother, I am no more than a ' 20 ounce throwaway ' soda pop bottle, to be thrown in the trash when convenient ". After what seemed like a long time, wherein Caravelle was paralyzed with conflicting emotions, she wiped the tears from her cheek, picked up her things, and began walking to the spacious guard shack just beyond the entrance arch.

The uniformed collage aged young man at the guard shack looked up from texting on his iphone, only to see a young teenage girl not fifty feet away from the front door. She was wearing a long sleeve pink and white Cedar Point amusement park T-shirt, a faded blue denim short skirt, white frilly socks, and pink and white athletic shoes. She had on her back what looked like a backpack, and was carrying several items. The guard got up from his desk overlooking the front window, and went to the front door to hold it open for the girl. He must have caught her by surprise, because she was so startled, she dropped her packages. She tried to speak, but only manged to point a finger and stammer---

" You-you ! You look like that young man on that crime-drama series on cable TV ! Really ! "

" I don't know if your observation is a compliment or an insult, young miss. I will take it as a compliment." replied the young man.

Caravelle gathered up her things and took them into the lounge area of the guard shack. She opened her small suitcase and retrieved a large manila envelope, then walked into the next room, and handed it to the young guard seated at the desk.

" My mother just dropped me off a little while ago; all I can say now is that ' I'm here.'. These are all of the papers from my mother's lawyer, Burl Iverson. He has set everything up so that I can stay here. " , remarked Caravelle.

" I will have to reconfirm all of this. " , said the guard, as he looked through the stack of papers and began to boot-up the computer on the desk. Caravelle sat down in an easy chair near the desk and folded her hands. After about twenty minutes, the young guard remarked,

" There is no record of you in Room Service or at the Welcome Center. Let me check the Mayor's Office Official Website. "

And after another ten minutes, he said,

" I can't find your name in the Mayor's website list of new residents, either. I'll call the Mayor's office and ask about you. "

After talking on his iphone, the guard shut it off and said,

" They said that they are real busy right now, and to call back later. Until then, access denied. "

" It's like nobody wants me. " , thought Caravelle to herself.

Despite having many other duties to tend to, the friendly guard would try and call from time to time, but always with the same response.

" Call back later, we're real busy. " At noontime, and after seeing how sad Caravelle had become, he gave her permission and money to go across the street and buy two 'chicken specials' lunch boxes from the convenience store and deli. One was for himself, and the other one was for Caravelle. Finally, in the early afternoon, the guard called Caravelle to come to his desk.

" I just got done speaking to a person at the mayor's office. They now tell me to call back tomorrow. It figures, the mayor and her staff can be quite incompetent at times. " Seeing the troubled look on Caravelle's face, he quickly added, " Your paperwork is complete and proper, I just need to see your name on one of the lists found on the various websites. But I know of someone who maybe can help us. Her name is Maya Bigger, and she is the village librarian, as well as the webmistress to many of Vonderland's websites. If I explain to her what has happened through no fault of your own, I think she can hack into one of the websites and place your name there. I will call her as soon as I get a chance; she has helped me many times in the past to get around the political incompetence and governmental gridlock that sometimes looms over Vonder Village. "

Caravelle went back into the lounge area and began looking through a collection of DVD's in a small cabinet on the far wall. She found an shoujo anime (girl's animation) DVD, put it into the player, and began watching the first episode. When the second episode had just begun, the young guard once again called her to his desk.

" On this second attempt, we got you into Vonderland. However, you were not found earlier because Maya said that the electronic profile in the Mayor's office says that you are a boy named Carl. But I told Maya that you are definitely a cute girl, named Caravelle. Maya was able to change your sex and gender marker in the electronic profile in the Mayor's office, so don't worry. Maya's little sister was born perceived as a boy, so Maya knows the whole story about trans girls. Here is your temporary I.D. badge, young lady, that now says that you are a female. Because you are a minor, always carry it with you. You will get a permanent I.D. sometime later. Note that your I.D. says that you have been granted the status of a 'Mature Minor', with full adult privileges, so that should make it easier for you to move around and do what you need to do. For now, everything is taken care of that I can do for you. I'm sorry that it took so long to do all of this.

You will need to go to the Welcome Center and introduce yourself, and to see where you are going to stay, at least until you are assigned a permanent residence. That will probably be the Home for Little Wanderers. If you look through that window, you will see a trolley stop a couple of blocks away. You can ride the trolley downtown, and get off at the Town Centre. On the north side is where the Welcome Center is located. Here is a map of everything in Vonderland. The little comic book characters on each page of the map will direct you all of the locations in and around Vonderland. You can ask for directions if you get lost or confused. Take care, and welcome to Vonderland ! " , said the friendly guard.

" Thank you so much for everything that you have done for me. " , said Caravelle fervently.

Caravelle gathered her belongings and walked out the front door of the guard shack and towards the trolley stop.

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## LOCATION---Downtown Vonder Village, the Welcome Center, Crystal's Safety Zone

It was fun to ride the trolley, but after a little while sitting and watching the scenery go by, Caravelle began to feel depressed.

" The guard was nice and everything, but I do not know what to expect of the people here. And I do not know what is expected of me, now that I am here. " , thought Caravelle to herself. " Nobody knew that I was coming today, and nobody cares that I am here. "

At the trolley stop just before Town Centre, called DeKalb Street, Caravelle looked out the window and saw across the street two one-story buildings connected together with an outdoor patio. The sign above one of the buildings read, **Crystal's Safety Zone**, and above the other building was a sign that said, **The End Zone Bar**

" Hmmm ! ", thought Caravele to herself, " I wonder if that building is a ' safe place ' that children and people can go to when they feel bad or are in trouble ? "

The next stop of the trolley was Town Centre, so Caravelle gathered her belongings and prepared to hop off when the trolley car came to a stop. Just like the friendly guard had said, the Welcome Center was located on the north end of the public park at the center of downtown. It took Caravelle a few moments to discern which way was north from looking at the map that she had with her. There was a small garden in the front of the Welcome Center, with a pathway leading through the garden to the main entrance of the Welcome Center. To the side of and beyond the garden was a large parking lot filled with cars. Caravelle thought that maybe some event must be going on for the parking lot to be so full. She walked up the pathway, opened the glass front door, and went in. Beyond the front door was a small foyer, with another glass door leading to a lobby. Caravelle walked through that door and found an easy chair next to the door, and put her things down next to the chair, and sat down. There was a large desk at the other end of the lobby, but nobody was behind the desk. She could look across the lobby into a grand ballroom, and was it ever busy ! It seemed to her that some sort of party or reception was going on. There were dozens and dozens of adults and children talking and running around excitedly. A few were in the lobby, too. Suddenly, Caravelle began to feel very uneasy and frightened.

" Who are all of these people and children, and what are they celebrating ? I was told to come to the Welcome Center, but am I supposed to go in there ? Are adults and children going to begin asking me questions ? Am I supposed to be 'the life of the party' ? " , were frightening and perplexing ideas that raced through Caravelle's mind. A second wave of fear and sorrow, as well as a survival intuition washed through Caravelle, as she thought, " I've got to get out of here, all of these people and children are scaring me. What would happen if anyone would guess that I am a trans girl? Would they shout "Abomination" at me? No way am I going in there. **I'm outta here !"** With that, she grabbed her items and hurriedly rushed out the door and out of the Welcome Center.

Caravelle found herself on a park bench in the town square, on the opposite side of the Welcome Center. She felt scared as well as sick and tired.

" All I want is a safe place to stay, and to be left alone. I have always been alone." , Caravelle remarked to herself, " I think it would be best if I can find a safe place to stay until I feel better about being brought to and dropped off at Vonderland. "

She sat on the park bench until her heart had quit pounding, and she finally no longer felt fearful. Suddenly and idea came to Caravelle.

" I saw a 'safe place' when I was on the trolley. Maybe I can see if I can stay there. It's not that far away, and I can walk there. " , thought Caravelle.

With that, she once again gathered her belongings and began walking towards DeKalb Street. When Caravelle had reached the crossroads sign of DeKalb Street and Primrose Street, she could see across the intersection and all the way to the two adjoined buildings that she noticed from the trolley. She walked across the crosswalk, then past the first building, then past the outdoor patio, and finally stopped in front of the building called Crystal's Safety Zone. There were tables and chairs on the sidewalk and they were enclosed by a short wrought iron fence, but there was nobody outside at this time. Caravelle placed her belongings on one of the tables and chairs.

" I think that Crystal will let me stay here in her safe place. " , mused Caravelle as she walked up to the front door and opened it to go in. A sign on the front door said, ' **Must be 21 to enter** ' . Caravelle had taken just one step inside the open door when she heard a shrill voice screaming from behind her.

*" YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE !!! "*

Caravelle stopped in her tracts and turned around to see a little girl just getting off of her bicycle and walking towards her. The girl was wearing a Hard Rock Cafe T-shirt, and torn, faded blue jeans with dirty sneakers.

***" I TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE, AND YOU HAD BETTER DO AS I SAY, RIGHT NOW !!! "***

The little girl looked to be no more than ten or eleven years old, but was screaming like a Marine Drill Sargent.

Caravelle began to mumble and answer, " I wanted to ask about staying at a 'safe place' tonight. . . . "

" YOU CAN'T ! THAT IS CRYSTAL'S SAFE PLACE. Only Crystal and her best friend, me, Lexi, can go in there. " , shot back the little girl proudly pointing to herself.

" But I'm new here . . . . " , implored Caravelle.

" Then you need to follow me to the Welcome Center. *GET YOUR STUFF AND DO IT NOW !!!* , yelled Lexi.

Caravelle tried one last time to talk to the girl, " I don't want to cause trouble, I just want to be left alone to . . . ."

" YOU FOLLOW ME RIGHT NOW, or my mom will cause you trouble, because she is on the Village Council, and people do what she tells them to do. ", fired back Lexi.

Caravelle was becoming confused and frightened again, so she simply picked up her things and begin to follow Lexi as she walked her bicycle towards the Welcome Center. The two girls walked together in silence, as Caravelle did not want to say anything to touch off another firestorm of orders and commands.

" Who is this child named Lexi ? " , thought Caravelle to herself, " Is she an child administrator, or a V.I.P., an alien child from Mars, or what ? "

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## LOCATION---The Welcome Center, downtown Vonder Village

When they had arrived at the Welcome Center, Lexi turned around to Caravelle and blurted out,

" *You go inside to the lobby and sit down.* Wait for me, or somebody, to come to you and tell you what to do ! "

Caravelle went inside, put down her belongings, and sat down on the same chair that she was in just a short time ago. She noticed the flat screen television mounted on the wall above the desk on the opposite side of the room. It was tuned to the weather channel, and the weather gal was mentioning that the weather for tonight would be warm and in the sixties, and tomorrow would be sunny, clear, and with a record setting high temperature for late October reaching into the low eighties. The party was still going on in the ballroom, and once again Caravelle began to feel uneasy and apprehensive. Occasionally adults and children would wander from the ballroom into the lobby, but nobody came near to where Caravelle was sitting.

" Thank goodness nobody has noticed me. " , thought Caravelle as she was trying to calm herself from a rising dread that was beginning to flood her heart.

After a while, Caravele saw the same young girl who brought her here walk through the doorway from the ballroom to the lobby. She walked right over to where Caravelle was sitting. Caravelle was fidgeting, and twisting one of her twin ponytails with her right hand. Sitting as she was in the easy chair, her short denim skirt revealed her long, slender legs.

" Hi ! My name is Lexi. I'm ten years old. I moved you here because you do not have the right to go into *Crystal's Safe Zone.* You need to always do what I tell you to do because my mother is on the Vonder Village Council. I'm a very kind and caring kid, and I'm being nice to you now, but I can be tough and feisty when I want to. You seem to be nice, but I don't know why you would want to be alone, I don't know why you did what you did, and I don't know if I can trust you. I saw you go into Crystal's Safety Place, so I don't think you can be trusted. " , explained Lexi.

" All I can say is ' I'm here. ' " , was Caravelle's only reply.

" You need to go into the ballroom and join the party. " , admonished Lexi.

With that, Lexi left with a sly, disapproving look on her face. Caravelle continued to sit in the easy chair in the lobby, twisting and playing with her pigtails as she was trying to fight off the continuous uneasy and fearful feeling that was plaguing her. Soon, another teenage girl came into the lobby and strolled over to where Caravelle was sitting. Suddenly looking up, Caravelle was taken aback by her presence. This girl was dressed very sharp, with an Axelcrombey & Flip designer pullover shirt, and shiny black leggings that looked like wet leather.

" Hi there. My name is Crystal. I am thirteen years old and a teenager like yourself. Ya know, I have not seen that many teenagers come to the Welcome Center parties, at least not that many that I would be interested in meeting and getting to know. My parents have bought a business here recently, it's a sports bar located in the downtown area. I'm new to Vonder Village myself, and am just starting to learn my way around both the village and the social scene here. That is why I come to the parties here. I'm glad to meet you, maybe we can someday become friends. But I've also heard that you want to be left alone, too. If that is the case, I can leave you alone. No trouble for me " , explained Crystal.

" All I can say is ' I'm here. ' " , was Caravelle's only reply.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, then Crystal slowly meandered away and went back into the ballroom. Caravelle was perplexed, and began musing to herself.

" What to do ? What to do ? That girl, Lexi, brought me here without my knowledge or permission. Fer Real! Who is this Lexi, that she can do this to me. And who is the girl named Crystal ? Is she the same person that had Crystal's Safety Zone building named after themselves ? Maybe I can stay with Crystal until I find a place of my own. I wonder if she would mind, she seemed to be real friendly. If not, I think I know of a place that I can go to where people will leave me alone. I think that it is a good posibilty that I can go down to the beach and hang out there until I feel safe in this new place. Really ! "
Still very apprehensive, Caravelle stood up from the easy chair and stretched. As she was about to sit down again, a nicely dressed middle-aged lady came into the lobby. She was wearing an expensive creme-colored ladies business suit, with matching blouse, jacket, and skirt. She looked around, spotted Caravelle, then came up to Caravelle and spoke.

" Hello. My name is Keera Wellman, and I am the Excellent Mayor of Vonder Village. And you are . . . ."

" My name is Caravelle Axxe, and all I can say is that I'm here. ", said Caravelle.

" That's odd, " remarked Keera, " I don't remember seeing your name on the new residences list. Anyway, it's my understanding that you went into Crystal's Safety Zone earlier today. You know, or should have known, that that is an adults only sports bar and grill. It's wrong for a teenager like yourself to go in there, that is a serious offense. ', declared Keera.

" I am very, very sorry ! Really ! I thought that Crystal's Safe Place was a shelter for children to come to in order to be safe. ", cried Caravelle, " I didn't know that was only for Crystal, Lexi, and adults to go in there. "

" You need to be walking into the Home for Little Wanderers, not walking into a sports bar. ", shot back Keera.

" And, " continued Keera, " I'm told that you want to be left alone. I have to surmise that maybe Vonder Village is not the place that you need to be a part of right now. As mayor, I expect that all of the residents and visitors of the village actually want to be here, and want to be under my benevolent administration, and will look up to me for the wonderful things that I do. If you do not want to be with the people here, can not fit in, and want to pretend to be someone who you are not according to your birth, then you need to go elsewhere to stay. Come with me, young lady to my office. It's down this hallway and to the right. We need to talk further. "

Caravelle could do nothing but follow Keera to her office.

About this time, the party was beginning to wind down and people were leaving the Welcome Center. At the front desk in the lobby, the host of the party was talking to the bellman at the front desk. Suddenly, Caravelle burst into the lobby, running at top speed, and went right to the easy chair where she had been sitting earlier. She began to gather up her things left there as quickly as she could. Her cheeks were wet with tears and the lower area of the right sleeve of her Cedar Point t-shirt was wet. Her left sleeve was torn from the wrist up to the elbow, and hanging loosely, as if someone had tried to grab her shirt, and she had pulled away. Her hair was messed up and disheveled. She took one last hurried glance around the lobby as if someone would be chasing her, and carrying her things, promptly raced out the front door.

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## LOCATION---The beachfront in the village of Vonder Beach

Moving along at a rapid clip, Caravelle made her way back to the Town Centre trolley stop, just in time to catch the trolley stopping, and ride the trolley to where the peninsula meets the mainland. She then transferred to the trolley that runs the length of the peninsula and goes to and through the village of Vonder Beach. She got off about half way between the marina at the base of the peninsula, and the resort hotel at the tip of the peninsula. She walked towards the beach and shoreline. Just before the beach sand was the boardwalk, and Caravelle finally stopped to rest on one of the benches that are to be found at regular intervals along the entire boardwalk. She rested until her heart had stopped pounding, and she felt somewhat composed. As the sun was beginning to set, Caravelle noticed that on this section of the beach there was a collection of children's playground equipment. There were monkey bars, a see-saw, a plastic castle, a doll house, a slide, as well as many other items for play. Even thought the sun was setting, the air and beach sea breeze were still warm from the day's nice weather. Reviewing the day's events in her mind, Caravelle couldn't help but to cry softly to herself.

" *Nobody wants me*, and nobody cares what I do or where I spend the night. Adults who are supposed to care about me seem only to want to cause me trouble ", were the words burning in her mind and heart. " Is it because I am a trans girl? That must be it! People hate who or what they don't know. And most people hate boys who were born with a girl inside, and transition into that girl."

Again the picture of someone throwing an empty soda bottle into a trash can came to her mind.

Twilight had already begun when an idea came to Caravelle. She gathered her belongings one last time, and walked down the steps that lead from the boardwalk to the sandy beach. She trudged through the sand and went over to the plastic doll house and opened the tiny plastic door. She put her things inside the doll house, then squeezed herself in. It was a tight fit, but if she curled up, and took off her shoes, there was just enough room to lie down inside surrounded by her belongings. She tightly wedged her suitcase against the door to keep it closed, so nobody could push it open from the outside. She then placed her somewhat soft backpack as a makeshift pillow for her head. She laid down, and after bitterly crying to herself for what seemed to be a long time, and thinking about the soda pop bottle thrown away, finally fell into a fitful sleep.

( End of Chapter 1---" All I Can Say is That ' I'm Here' " )

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Click on Chapter 2 to be taken to the next chapter.