Temple 8

**Chapter 8**

Having settled matters with Nadine, Kahlan declares her intent to interrogate Captain Picard some more, despite Richard very specifically ordering her not to. It's debatable whether Richard has the right to order Kahlan around, but she's so clearly a dunderhead in this book that my sympathy for her is nonexistent. Not helping matters is her stated reason: *“He's an assassin sent to kill Richard. There are things I need to know.”*

Kahlan is (allegedly) a diplomat and magical tyrant; she has no business endangering herself by personally questioning miscellaneous assassins. Imagine if the First Lady, or the Queen of England, insisted on personally interrogating suspected terrorists, especially accompanied by a lone bodyguard. \~/

Nadine wants to come along as well, her logic being *“I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill a person, much less Richard. I want to see what such a person looks like.”*

My theory that Nadine's purpose is to make Kahlan looks smarter seems to be gaining credence. \~/

Kahlan flatly refuses to allow Nadine near Captain Picard, while thinking to herself how she wants *“this tempting, beautiful, dangerous young woman away from Richard.”* Given that Richard reacted to Nadine with, at most, polite disinterest, and has repeatedly emphasized to Kahlan how very, very much he loves her and how all other women are worthless trash compared to her, to the point where we're told that *she can't mindrape him because he already loves her that much,* this makes Kahlan seem awfully insecure.

Anyway, Cara and Kahlan leave Nadine alone. Cara questions Kahlan's decision to invite compel Nadine to stay, although unlike mine – specifically, that Nadine makes turnips look brilliant by comparison and has literally no valid reason to remain – her reasoning is based on Nadine being a lying liar who lies, as well as a man-hungry homewrecker. Despite Nadine *trying* to leave. Yes.

Kahlan has this to say:

*“Cara, I trust Richard. I know he loves me. If there's one thing at the core of Richard's way of looking at things, it's trust and loyalty.”*

Sure, if by “trust” you mean “no trust whatsoever,” and by “loyalty” you mean “unquestioning obedience to the Almighty Richard.” \~/\~/

*“If I don't show my trust in [Richard], then I'm not honoring his loyalty to me. I can't afford to even appear to betray his trust in me.”*

And letting Nadine go on her merry way is . . . betraying Richard how? \~/

Also, that sounds an awful lot like Kahlan is afraid of the consequences if Richard takes it into his head that she has “appeared to betray his trust,” or “honored his loyalty” insufficiently. Why would she fear that? I thought Richard and Kahlan were Destined Twu Wuvs who loved each other more than anyone else had ever loved before. Why is Kahlan behaving like the victim of an abusive relationship?

Cara calls bullshit on this, and Kahlan admits that she really wants Nadine to stay because *“there's something going on, something dangerous. The danger won't go away if I make Nadine leave.”*

Maybe not, but what possible benefit is there in making her stay?

*“Look at it this way. Would it have been the right thing to do to simply send Marlin away when he arrived and announced he wanted to kill Richard? Would that have solved the problem? Why are we keeping him around? To find out what's going on, that's why.”*

That . . . is a **terrible** analogy.

I'm not even going to spork that. It's downright insulting. \~/\~/

Blah blah, Nadine is scary because Shota sent her, and Kahlan can't just get rid of her because reasons. Namely, because Terry Goodkind wants her to stay around and can't be arsed to come up with a legitimate reason why.

This nonsense done, Kahlan – who, remember, is terrified of *“appear[ing] to betray his trust”* – decides to violate Richard's direct orders and go back to the Rape Pit of Rapiness and interrogate Captain Picard some more. Cara argues, then concedes, in a conversation best summed up thusly:

Cara: “You can't do that; Lord Rahl said not to and I always obey his orders when he means it.”

Kahlan: “Except when you don't feel like it. Are you a coward?”

Cara: “You're right. Let's go.”

\~/

I should also note that Kahlan and Cara have taken to calling each other *“sister of the Agiel,”* in reference to the *+5 riding crop of pain* Richard gave Kahlan to wear as a necklace, and never mind that the damn thing is supposed to inflict unholy agony on anyone who touches it, victim or wielder. This supposedly formed a special bond and showed that Kahlan was equal to the Dominatrices and oh God I'm drowning in bullshit.

Okay, the Dominatrices are an *elite, magical corps.* They are *badasses.* They endure hellacious training that breaks their minds, and they gain deadly magical powers from it. I may mock their moronic weapons, but the fact remains that they are a frightening sisterhood.

Kahlan has not earned that Agiel. Kahlan has not gone through Dominatrix training or even a pale shadow of it. Kahlan has not done anything to show herself worthy of being called a fellow Dominatrix. Richard gave her the Agiel to wear as some bling. If anything, that's *insulting* to the Dominatrices; it's taking their weapon, the symbol of their order, and reducing it to a token gift to his girlfriend.

This would be like asserting that wearing a hat with the symbol of the US Marine Corps on it makes you in all regards as good as a Marine. It's laughable at best, and downright offensive at worst. \~/\~/

Argh.

Kahlan wants to ask Cara a personal question, and Cara says *“You are a sister of the Agiel. Ask.”* Hereforth we are taking a drink every time the phrase “sister of the Agiel” is used, and I am replacing that phrase with “dudebro,” since it fits Kahlan and Cara's level of dignity better. \~/

So Kahlan asks her dudebro Cara why she went on about hesitating earlier, and we get Cara's Tragic Backstory. It goes on for two pages and the important parts are: Cara got made a Dominatrix because she hesitated to stab someone, and Cara is afraid of rats. Also, I'm taking a couple of drinks for sadistic imagery. \~/\~/

Cara and Kahlan reach the dungeon when who should appear but Nadine? Kahlan orders Nadine away, but Nadine has her pompousness turned up to about 9, and rambles for an entire page. Her argument boils down to “I'm important back home in Podunkville and I wanna see da scawwy man.”

You know, Terry, making Nadine a blithering moron doesn't actually make me like Kahlan any more than I did. It just means I get to read about a blithering moron in addition to an arrogant, hypocritical bitch. \~/

Kahlan, Cara and Nadine head down to the Rape Pit of Rapiness and the chapter finally ends.

Drinks: 14

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