Only Skin Deep

This is Chapter Two of Sally's Salon: Kiss and Make Up.

## Level 11 - Skin deep

* Sally, Francois, and Britney are in the skin beauty.
* Sally: Maybe I was too harsh on her. I DID call her a bad friend.
* Sally: That's the first time I've ever even USED profanity!
* Sally: Except for that day when we accidentally ordered decaf...
* Britney: A-HA! Who's awesome?
* Britney: This girl!
* Britney: Don't worry, it, like, says right here:
* Britney: 'Neither party may dissolve stuff UNLESS, and ONLY unless, the friendship becomes strained!'
* Britney: And Olivia's the one who got into law school. Like, pfft.
* Britney: I can't wait to see the color of her face when she hears I saved the day.
* Francois: Sally, I have a possible solution. I promised myself I'd never kill again, but...
* Sally: Aww, that's sweet of you. But maybe April's right. I may know hair, but she knows the system.
* Sally: I'll just quit so she doesn't have to shut down the salon.
* Sally: Then she'll win the Mirage Star, and in a way it'll be like we both won it.
* Francois: Well, not really...
* Sally: Oh, Francois...
* Britney: Boo-yah! It says right here, 'Sally relinquishes all rights of ownership.'
* Britney: This is, like, too easy. I should go take the bar exam right now!
* Britney: You guys watch the shop for me. Man, I love cocktails!
* Britney gives the papers to Francois and leaves the beauty.
* Sally: Watch the... Wait? What!?
* Sally: But I was going to dramatically write my resignation letter with an eyebrow pencil!
* Sally: This is not what I had in mind when Britney suggested hiding out in a beauty parlor!
* Francois continues looking on papers.
* Francois: Just a minute...

### Outro

* April cuts the old lady's hair.
* Old lady: Ow! My ear! Watch it, you idiot!
* April: Oops. Um. Well, I guess it'd be weird if they didn't match...
* Old lady: You have worse hands than my third husband!
* Old lady: Where's that cute girl who's usually here? The one who does that jig?
* April: She wasn't a good... fit.
* Sally walks outside the salon as an old lady waves.
* Old lady: There she is! Hey, Jig girl! Help!
* Sally enters her salon.
* Sally: How's it hangin', Apes? I thought you were shutting down the salon?
* April: Just a few last appointments to honor. You left me quite a load.
* Sally: You mean when you fired me?
* April: Speaking of which, I didn't see your resignation letter on my desk.
* Sally: Oh, sorry. My bad.
* April: Just be sure you call before you show up here again. No offense.
* Sally: No problem! Oh, by the way, do you have my check?
* April: Check? For what?
* Sally has a poster.
* Sally: It says here if one of us leaves, the other has to - what's the word?
* Sally: 'Buy out' the other, for 50%.
* April: Since when do you read fine print?
* Sally: Never! Francois did. He's always been such a great friend.
* Sally: So, 50% please! And I'll be on my way!
* April: That may... take a few... somethings.
* Sally: Gosh! That's a bummer. 'Cause it also says here that if I raise the 50% first, I can fire you!
* April: You really want to go up against me, Sally? On the financial front?
* April: I thought we were friends.
* Sally: Aww, April. We were.
* Sally does air kisses and leaves the salon.
* April: Game. On.

## Level 12 - Mirage a trois

* April walks back and fourth.
* April (yellow): Who does that little snit think she is? Stabbing me in the front after all I've done to her?
* April (red): Never mind that, April! Focus! We've got this!
* April (yellow): Shut up! We're losing our mind! Just like Grandpa, Mother, the twins-
* April (red): YOU shut up! We're fine! It's Sally that's the problem!
* April (yellow): She purposely ruined that down cocktail party because she envies your success! She's selfish!
* April (red): She was right! You're terrible! I hate sharing a brain with you!
* April (yellow): Whatever, loser. We're perfectly sane! That's what people whisper!
* April (yellow): We'll see that rep coming a mile away! WE know what to look for!
* A manager woman visits the salon.
* Woman: Pardon me?
* April (red): They'll be someone urbane. Stern.
* April (yellow): A perfect replica of us...
* Woman: Hope I'm not interrupting anything?
* April: Shh! Have a seat. Someone'll be with you eventually.
* Woman: Actually, I was looking for Sally?
* April: Sally is currently... unavailable.
* Woman: Oh, that's too bad. I've heard such wonderful things.
* April: Don't believe everything you hear. Now, do you want to take a seat?
* April: I'm sort of expecting someone.
* Woman: On second thought, I'm a bit faded from my flight. I'll come back later.
* April: Can't wait! Au revoir!
* A woman leaves the salon.
* April: Now, where was I?
* April goes to thoughts.
* April (red): Where you'll always be! In a hell of your own making!
* April (yellow): You mean a hell of OUR own making.

### Outro

* In the massage therapy, Francois sneaks and takes the oil.
* Francois sits on a comfy armchair and shakes the bottle to open up.
* Francois applies the oil and takes a rest. The machine starts up.
* Francois: Ahhh. They should've sent a poet.
* Rachel visits for spotting Francois.
* Francois: Oh! This isn't what it looks like!
* Rachel: It's funny - that's exactly how I first met Vincent. He was sitting in a massage chair.
* Rachel: Then just as I walked past testing some oil, I slipped and fell. Right into his arms.
* Francois: Ew.
* Francois: I mean... aww!
* Rachel: We tried to get up at the same time and kept bumping our heads.
* Francois: Sounds like a classic meet cute.
* Rachel: Then the oil leaked between the cushions and shorted out the chair. We both got electrocuted.
* Francois: This story's still going?
* Rachel: We both wake up from our comas in adjoining hospital beds at the exact same time.
* Rachel: That's when we knew.
* Rachel: And here I am, signing divorce papers, just 24 years later.
* Francois: People grow apart. You and Vincent aren't right for each other. It happens.
* Rachel: Thanks, Francois.
* Francois: Advice on affairs of the heart is my middle name. Used to be Gary.
* Rachel: Ah, well. I'd better head to the lawyer's before they close.
* Rachel: Too mad I won't be able to loan Sally that money now.
* Francois: L-l-loan?!
* Rachel: Well, yes. Although I think it only has one 'L.' And by the way, that's not a massage chair.

## Level 13 - Clipboard carnage

* Sally: Only two more! Okay, what's the term for the hollow tube inside a hair?
* Sally: Cortex, neutralizer, cuticle, or medulla?
* Sally: Oh, I know this one! Medulla!
* Francois: Uh, I think I'M supposed to answer.
* Sally: Oh yeah. So, what's your answer?
* Francois: Um... Whatever you said. Medulla?
* Sally: Wow! You got a perfect score! Maybe YOU should be quizzing ME!
* Britney appears from the left.
* Britney: Sup, peeps? Anyone up for, like, some stress-cleaning?
* Francois uncovers the eyes and stands up.
* Francois: Neither of those are really my métier.
* Britney walks closer to Sally and Francois.
* Britney: Who said I was stressed!? Not me!
* Britney: I feel awesome that my sister's gonna be, like, undermining me here on the reg!
* Francois: Hm. I think you misheard me.
* Helen visits from the right.
* Helen: Morning, all. Glad to see at least some of you look busy.
* Francois: You're welcome.
* Helen: April's brought me up to speed on this latest bit of legal unpleasantness.
* Helen: I'm not in the least bit surprised that it's you two cooking it up.
* Sally: Whew, that's a relief! I was worried you'd be on HER side!
* Helen: Just know that I have my eye on you.
* Helen: Any efforts to sabotage the Mirage Star award will be dealt with. HARSHLY.
* Sally hugs Helen to agree.
* Sally: Thanks, Helen! But don't worry - I'm sure April won't do anything mean.
* Sally: She was named after the month Easter's sometimes in, after all!
* Sally: Okay, Francois. Final question. What's the most effective way to remove a mustache?
* Helen: Electrolysis. Followed by a brisk sandpapering.
* Helen: I mean...

### Outro

* Meanwhile in Sally's Salon...
* April: Hmm. Security cam footage didn't pick up a SINGLE person?
* April: Nobody with an obvious income of 250k plus came in all day?!
* April goes to the computer and sees what happened!
* April: Impossible!
* April: Sally must have been tampering with the cams!
* Angela Napoli arrives in a surprise!
* April: It all adds up! Well, GUESS WHAT, honey?
* April picks up a green thing.
* April: To-DAY is April Fumier's lucky day!
* April angrily throws the green stuff into Angela's head, causing her to fall down!
* The green thing knocks Angela down to the floor!
* Angela: Ow, my face!
* April: What the?! Just who do you think-
* Angela gets up.
* April: Oh, my. Such lovely ACCESSORIES, Miss...?
* Angela: Angela. And if you don't mind, I think I'll just go back to having my hair done at home on Park Avenue.
* April: P-P-Park Avenue?
* Angela: Although I must say, this place does have its charms.
* Angela: Obviously mothing on par with what I'm used to in Manhattan.
* Angela: But on first glance, not bad.
* Angela: Yet something else entirely upon closer scrutiny, don't you think?
* Angela: Like those things you see in the desert?
* Angela: From a distance you THINK it's an oasis, but it's just the heat?
* April: You mean... a MIRAGE?
* Angela: Yeah. Or like where the COVER makes a book sound great.
* Angela: But once you've skinned the parts UNDER it, you just get sleepy?
* April: You mean... UNDER... COVER?
* Angela: Apparently the concussion was the best part of THIS conversation... I'll let myself out.
* Angela leaves the salon.
* April: That was HER! I can still save this. That was HER. I can still...

## Level 14 - Fool's gold

* Sally waves to Britney.
* Britney: These windows are, like, so filthy! I can barely even see through them!
* Angela: Well, I'm no architect, but maybe it's because that's a WALL?
* Angela: They're LIKE windows, but less fun. Jeepers, have you been here all NIGHT?
* Britney: Oh, yeah. Sunlight, huh. I thought I felt my tan-lines paling.
* Sally: I've been on THAT date.
* Britney: Plus I, like, hand-washed the rug in your office six times...
* Britney: ...and those spots STILL won't come out! I just want to ugly cry!
* Sally: Well, the rug IS leopard skin.
* Britney: Just because I did the same thing with our eldest sister Tiffany...
* Britney: ...doesn't give Olivia the right to emulate MY behavior.
* Sally: Sibling stuff's tricky. Don't get me started!
* Britney: You have a sister?
* Sally: No, I'm an only child. That's why I said don't get ME started. I got nothing.
* Britney: NO ONE can fix my issues.
* Sally: I mean, when I hooked up with April's brother a long time ago, I thought she'd be HAPPY for us.
* Sally: Boy was I dumb. Guess whatever Olivia's done to upset you must have been way WORSE.
* April: Well, not really...
* Sally: And now with HER working here too, you'll have daily opportunities...
* Sally: ...to show her that you're your own person.
* Sally: THAT must suck.
* Britney: Hmm...
* Sally: Plus you started here first, have seniority, you're friends with everyone here, AND you're getting married.
* Sally: You have so much MORE.
* Sally: Must be a lot of pressure.
* Britney: OMG. I never, like, thought of it like that.
* Sally: I'm sorry. Stupid, stupid Sally. All I do is make people sad.
* Britney gives Sally a hug.
* Britney: Thanks, Sally. I feel way better now. You know, for an OLDER lady, you're super, boo.
* They hug again.
* Britney: And you know what? It's gonna take a whole lot more to stress THIS queen out!
* But then... suddenly unexpected things happen!
* Britney: Oh my God! My ring! My engagement ring! It's GONE!

### Outro

* Rachel massages the man while Francois visits.
* Francois: Ahem... I was hoping to steal a word with you in private.
* Man: Zzzzzzzz...
* Francois: Guess this is close enough.
* Rachel: I wouldn't worry about Mr. Poodymuckle here. He can sleep through anything.
* Rachel continues to massage the man.
* Rachel: Which is something I'M certainly used to...
* Man: Mmmf? Ow... Zzzzzzzz...
* Francois: Just to follow up on our last exchange...
* Francois: You said something about loaning Sally money so she can keep the salon?
* Rachel: I did? Oh, sorry. I might've misspoken.
* Francois: I see.
* Rachel: I actually meant we were going to GIVE Sally the money. As a surprise.
* Rachel: But of course, we'd tell her it was just a loan. Otherwise she might not take it. You know Sally.
* Francois: Ah! Well, that would be very generous of you. I take it you had an unexpected windfall?
* Rachel: Oh, I thought you know. Vincent and I co-won the lottery.
* Rachel: We hardly every play, but our divorce lawyer sold us a ticket.
* Rachel: Our winning numbers were Tilly's birthday. Isn't that adorable?
* Francois: If you say so. And then?
* Rachel: And then we decided we'd use the proceeds to help Sally buy April out.
* Francois: I think I love you!
* Rachel: But now, what with the divorce and all, we're both going to need that money to rebuild our lives.
* Rachel: Like you so rightly said, Vincent and I are a terrible couple...
* Francois: Ha! You know I was just, er... kidding, right? You guys are great! Why, you both.... have so much in common?
* Rachel: We hate each other.
* Francois: See? That's one thing.
* Francois: You two belong together. And I'm certain Vincent agrees with me.
* Rachel: Hah! My only regret about becoming a divorcee is that I wish I was becoming a WIDOW.
* Rachel massages hard that wakes him up!
* Man: Safe word! Safe word!!!

## Level 15 - Second base

* Vincent sprays on his head while Francois visits.
* Vincent: Hey, you know things. This is the best cologne we have, right?
* Vincent: I've splashed five bottles of it all OVER myself, and i still can't smell or taste the difference!
* Francois: Umm, that's rat poison.
* Vincent: Jeez. It really has been a while since I've been on the dating scene...
* Vincent: It's like riding a bike: once you learn it, you forget it instantly.
* Francois: Well, so long as she's not a rat, I'm sure she'll love it.
* Francois: But still, you're dating already? You're not even divorced yet.
* Vincent: Pfft. Don't REMIND me.
* Vincent: To think I squandered so many years trying to make things work with a shrew like Rachel!
* Vincent: Now I've met someone who sees my INNER beauty!
* Francois: Ah, blind then. That's a good demographic for you.
* Francois: I mean... Don't you miss Rachel?
* Vincent: Pfft. Yeah, like a hole in the head.
* Vincent: That's a weird expression if you think about it. I'd miss my mouth, eyes, nostrils -
* Francois: But you and Rachel had so much in common. Your dog, umm... The number of e's in your first names?
* Vincent: Meh. Rachel, Schmachel...
* Vincent: This new girl's REALLY into me. I mean, age difference is just an expression, right?
* Francois: No, I think there's actual math involved.
* Vincent picks up a bouquet.
* Vincent: Well, I'm off to go meet her for breakfast!
* Vincent: It's so cute when she wakes up to find me with roses standing over her bed and screams.
* Vincent: Thanks for all the tips!
* Francois: Hey, by the way, would you and Rachel mind still giving Sally your lottery money?
* Vincent: Sally's a good kid. I'd do anything for her.
* Vincent: But like I just said, the one think I take seriously is MATH. And the numbers just aren't there.
* Vincent: Unless Rachel and I somehow didn't hate each other or something! Well, bye bye!
* Francois: But the work day's just starting!
* Vincent: You too! Wish me luck!
* Vincent leaves the massage spa.

### Outro

* Helen: ...So, going forward...
* Helen: We'll only be dealing with supplies who understand the difference between 'nail beds' and 'beds of nails'.
* Francois: Who knew cuticle care could be so complicated?
* Helen: Finally, it's come to my attention that there's been a major upsurge...
* Helen: ...in non-work-related activities here at the salon.
* Francois: That's ridiculous. I've been nonproductive since day ONE.
* Francois: And I can produce witnesses, if you're really going to make me get up.
* Helen: Everything may just be one big joke to YOU, Francois...
* Helen: But SOME of us care about keeping this place afloat.
* Francois: Does you and April backstabbing the owner count as 'work-related'? I need to know for my taxes.
* Helen: Francois, I've had about enough of your toxic attitude. As wellness coordinator, I outrank you.
* Helen: You're fired. Go clean out your locker.
* Francois: What?! I have a LOCKER?! Sweet!
* Helen: And just to reiterate, this salon will NO LONGER be used...
* Helen: ...as some cut-rate backdrop for NON-work-related subplots!
* Nathan comes from the right.
* Nathan: Fives!
* Helen: That's a GREETING now?
* Nathan: Man, things sure are da BOMB with that bootylicious little mama I'm datin'.
* Nathan: Sorry Hells, but yall're gonna lose this bet.
* Helen: Still ten days to go, Nathan.
* Nathan: And NIGHTS, or I'd be stressin'. In fact, she's outside right now. You guys wanna meet her?
* Helen: Sure, bring her in. Let's all take a good look at what YOUR type is.
* Nathan leaves to get one then comes back with a copy.
* Everyone's shocked with a copy of Helen!
* Nathan: Isn't she beautiful?
* Sally and Francois laugh.
* Helen copy: Natie tells me you might be hiring?
* Sally: Speaking of which, I outrank Helen. Francois, you're rehired. And promoted to Vice President of Whatever.
* Francois: 'K.
* Helen gets mad!

## Level 16 - Melancholia

* Britney and Sally are searching the ring.
* Britney: ONG. I'm, like, seeing him tomorrow, and I haven't even told him I lost the ring.
* Sally gets up and reads the paper.
* Sally: Let's get systematic, like TV cops. Do you remember what SHAPE it was?
* Britney: Um. Round?
* Sally: What else?
* Britney: Well, it, like, had a sparkly jewel inset. He said it was a super precious metal... Zirconia!
* Sally: Don't worry, Britney. We'll find it.
* Sally: And even if we don't, he'll understand. It won't affect your wedding.
* Britney: I guess you're right... Aww, Sally, srsly, you're such a bae. This is the best I've felt in days.
* Olivia visits again.
* Olivia: Oh! Britney! I didn't, like, know YOU worked here!
* Britney: Whatevs. A LOT of people work here. Our paths probz won't cross that much.
* Olivia: OMG - and there's some real weirdos too.
* Olivia: There was a creepy girl here last week with a SHEET over her head. She didn't say a single word.
* Britney: Cook story, O. Now if you'll, like, excuse me, I have glamorous things to do somewhere that's NOT here.
* Britney: Thanks again, Sally!
* Olivia: Actually, I'm glad I ran into you! I have, like, an exciting announcement to make!
* Olivia presents her ring!
* Olivia: I'm totally getting MARRIED!
* Olivia: We haven't been going out long, but I've never felt such a strong attraction before!
* Olivia: We're getting married on the 10th!
* Britney: B-b-but... That's MY wedding day!
* Olivia: Oh, how fun! We can have mine right before yours then!
* Olivia: Wonder twin powers: activate! Oh, sorry. You don't have your ring on.
* Olivia: Well, he's waiting for me outside. Gotta bounce!
* Olivia leaves the beauty parlor.
* Britney: I want to die.

### Outro

* Meanwhile back in Sally's Salon, the chaos were happened.
* Rachel: Boy, this place sure is turning into a sty ever since you locked Sally out of the cleaning supplies closet.
* April: I heard she hid in there for 3 days after Francois tried to talk to her about my brother! So, tit for tat!
* Rachel: Seriously, even the sponges in there were alphabetized. I never realized how much she did around here...
* April: Yes, well. SOME of us don't have time to dust...
* April: ...AND text air kiss emojis to corporate all day.
* Rachel: Maybe if you just reinstated Sally -
* April: Enough Sally talk! Don't make me write you up for offering suggestions!
* April: We're not here to make FRIENDS. This is a business!
* Rachel: Well, you just let me know if it'd help to hire a cleaning lady with my lottery winnings.
* April: L-l-lottery?
* Rachel: Yeah, although I think it's spelled with just the one 'l.' Like 'lama.' The monk, not the wannabe camel.
* April: Rachel, mi Anemone de mer, have I ever told you how MUCH I cherish our friendship?
* April: Why, almost as much as Sally's.
* Rachel: Wow, thanks April. That means a lot.
* April: Is there ANYthing I could do to make your life easier?
* April: And this obviously has NOTHING to do with your finances.
* Rachel: Hmm. Well, I DO hear Vincent's already dating again. Incredible as that may seem.
* April: Ah. And you'd like ME to whip out my famously little black book...
* April: ...and find a single someone for YOU to even the scales?
* Rachel: Hmm. Well, I WAS going to ask you to kill Vincent and bring me his head to throw grenades at.
* Rachel: But meeting someone new sounds faster.
* A woman visits the messy salon.
* April: Consider it done.
* April: And none of this will DISTRACT you from keeping an eye out for our sneaky Mirage executive, I hope?
* Woman: Excuse me...? I was here before-
* April goes to shoo that woman away.
* April: I SAID come back later!
* Woman: Sorry. My bad.
* Woman leaves anyway.

## Level 17 - Balancing act

* Nathan visits the spa.
* Nathan's phone: ZOOP!
* Nathan checks the phone texts.
* Old woman: Miss me?
* Nathan texts: Yes?
* Nathan: Damn, woman. You just dropped me off thirty SECONDS ago.
* Nathan's phone: ZOOP!
* Nathan checks the phone texts again.
* Old woman: Aww. What do you miss MOST about me right now?
* Nathan: Your butt, I guess?
* Nathan puts away again and it rings again.
* Nathan's phone: ZOOP!
* Nathan checks again.
* Old woman: Aww. How much do you LIKE it? On a scale of 1 to 10?
* Nathan: I don't know. Fives?
* Nathan puts away but it rings once more.
* Nathan's phone: ZOOP!
* Old woman: Aww! See? We were made for each other! You're so into math, it's cute! Einstein has an Afro too!'
* Nathan's phone ring again as hanging up.
* Nathan's phone: ZOOP! (thrice)
* And now the sound of Fabulous Angela's tone.
* Nathan's phone: BR-RRIIINNNGGG!!!!
* Nathan's phone: In. Coming. Call. From. Kimberly. Not. Beverly. For. You. Nathan.
* Nathan: AAAAGGGGGHHH!
* Nathan tosses the phone into the pool, as Helen visits the spa!
* Helen: Trouble in paradise, loverboy?
* Nathan: No! Um... My phone was just... dirty?
* Helen: Let me guess - did it have a 'fives' year warranty?
* Nathan: I'm in LOVE with Bev! YOU'LL see!
* Helen: You mean Kimberly?
* Helen laughs, Nathan gets mad. He leaves.
* Nathan's phone receives a call in the water.
* Helen: Plumber and electrician to the sauna. Again.

### Outro

* Nathan is looking for someone as Helen appears from the left.
* Helen: Expecting someone?
* Nathan: Nope! I, uh, just want to be ready in the event of a zombie apocalypse. In Snuggford. Again.
* Helen: Dude, just give up the bet already... I hate seeing you like this. And by hate, I mean I never want it to end.
* Nathan: No way, sister! This is the happiest I've ever felt! In fact, I think she might be the One!
* Nathan: Besides, I've only got to make it two more days...
* Helen: Actually, you're off by three.
* Nathan: FIVES?! Son of a...
* Nathan: Damn. Guess ya'll were right about me.
* Nathan: I'm just a shallow chump. Hookin' up with EVERYone, 'cause I can't connect with ANYone.
* Helen: Oh, Nathan. You're a terrific catch.
* Helen: And sometimes the very thing you're looking for is what's standing right IN FRONT of you.
* Helen kisses Nathan's hand.
* Nathan: For real?
* Nathan and Helen get closer but suddenly Finn appears.
* Finn: Who here's up for some power-squats? Don't worry, I got plenty of muscle rub to go round!
* Finn: Whoa-ho! Shut the front door! Were you two about to go on a round of tonsil hockey on the DL? No way!
* Finn: I thought you were SAVIN' yourself for me, Hellicious!
* Finn: Don't make me challenge you to a duel for her honor, brah!
* Finn: Dude! You two almost sucked face! I gotta tell somebody!
* An old lady walks past Finn, Helen, and Nathan.
* Finn: Hey! Random stranger! Guess what I just saw! Hey! Come back!
* Finn goes after an old lady.
* Helen: So? Can we call the bet off now? Please?
* Nathan: Nah. Now I really want to see what you guys' kids are gonna look like. Lates!
* Nathan leaves to the left.

## Level 18 - Paws 911

* Vincent: I can't wait to see you either! Smoothies! Oh, and bring the toys!
* Rachel appears from the left.
* Vincent hangs the call.
* Rachel: That poor, poor woman. Whoever she is.
* Vincent: HA! That's rich, coming from YOU. And I'M more of a woman than she'll EVER be.
* Vincent: Uh, I mean...
* Rachel: Do you have any idea how pathetic you sound?
* Vincent: Maybe I DO!
* Rachel: And to think, 24 years ago, I looked at that stupid face of yours and said, 'Till death do us part!'
* Vincent: Even death wouldn't stop you nagging me for a second!
* Rachel: I am SO glad I never have to see you again!
* Vincent: Ditto. Guess 24's our lucky number.
* Rachel: Speaking of which... Sally needs our help. I thought if we pooled our lottery money, we could help her save this place. Together.
* Vincent: Um... I, uh... I spent it.
* Rachel: On what? On that FLOOZY you've been seeing?
* Vincent: Yes, as a matter of fact. On an ENGAGEMENT ring for that floozy.
* Nathan appears.
* Nathan: Wives!
* Rachel: You're remarrying? ALREADY?
* Vincent: I get lonely, Raych.
* Tilly: Koff-koff...
* Tilly appears and falls asleep on the floor!
* Vincent and Rachel: Tilly!
* Rachel: Oh, Tilly! What happened!?
* Vincent: Somebody! Call a vet!

### Outro

* Rachel: This is all my fault... I was supposed to be watching her.
* Vincent: No, it's MY fault. She turned down bacon last night. Pre-chewed!
* Sally: She'll be all right. Like they say, dogs have nine lives! She'll pull through, just like Old Yeller!
* Vincent receives the call and answers. He listens to the messages.
* Vincent: Uh huh? OK, one second.
* Vincent: Tell them what you told me doc. They're not gonna believe this.
* Vincent's phone: She's doing great. She'd accidentally eaten a wedding ring. Twice.
* Nathan appears from the right.
* Nathan: Survives!!
* Britney: My ring!
* Britney goes off to find the ring!
* Vincent's phone: Dogs'll eat anything. You'd think a heightened sense of smell would make then more discerning, but...
* Vincent: She just takes after me. Never turn down a free snack! She's such a good girl! We'll be round to pick her up as fast as we can.
* Vincent's phone: Wait, what? She nearly... \*click\*
* Vincent hangs up the call.
* Rachel: I was so scared for her.
* Vincent: Me too... I miss you.
* Rachel: Same... But, what about...
* Olivia appears from the right.
* Olivia: Hi Vincie. Listen, I've been thinking. I don't think we're right for each other.
* Vincent: Okay?
* Olivia: You're just not my type. Plus, the 24 age gap is gross. Here's your ring back. Buh-buh-buh-bye!
* Olivia gives the ring to Vincent and leaves.
* Vincent: 24.
* Vincent and Rachel: Our lucky number.
* Vincent and Rachel hug!

## Level 19 - Run Sally Run!

* Bartender woman: Well? Any luck spotting our undercover evaluator yet?
* April: Oh, I'm pretty sure I have a bead on who it is.
* April: I'm a people person. From a long line of people people... But a PHOTO would be great.
* Bartender: No can do. If there's one thing Mirage takes seriously, it's covert surveillance.
* Bartender: That's why our slogan's 'Mirage: Believe What You See.'
* April: I always thought it was 'Offer Ends Soon'...
* Bartender: Ugh. I meant to ask for a whiskey sour. Remind me to have that waiter fired.
* Bartender: Anyway, even having a photo wouldn't help you. Our CEO is a mistress of disguise.
* April: So it's a she!
* Bartender: OR is THAT part of the disguise? Always keep your underlings confused. You should write that down. NOW!
* Bartender: Anyway. Debrief me on the Sally situation.
* April: Well, it's certainly a hostile work environment. But I can't force her out unless I come up with 50K.
* Bartender: Really? Is that all? You should have told me it was that simple sooner.
* Bartender: The CEO is well aware of the Sally issue. She seemed most curious. And rather irate, I might add.
* April: Do you know when she'll be coming back?
* The bartender gets in rage and throws the wine at April.
* Bartender: What did I say about secrecy?
* April: Sorry... I deserved that... Please, just give me one more day. I'm on top of it.
* Bartender: Let us hope so.
* April: This IS a whiskey sour.

### Outro

* Sally and Francois read the magazine as April appears from the right.
* April: Keeping busy as usual, I see.
* Sally: Today was our busiest yet. This is the first time I've been off my feet all day.
* Francois: And I'm only on my NINTH.
* April: Well, I didn't come here to discuss feet, but to notify you both that I forgive you for your effrontery.
* Sally: Aww. Don't worry, Apes. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing to forgive!
* April: Erm... I don't suppose either of you have happened to notice any unusual characters lately...
* April: ...like, anyone that could be our undercover evaluator?
* Sally: I just assume it could be anybody, so I give everyone the best service I can!
* April: Hmm. And all I have is my Master's degree in Business Strategy.
* Francois: Actually, there was some rich lady here who mentioned you by name. She jut ran off.
* April: And you LET her?
* April runs away from the parlor.
* Francois: Whatta boob.
* Vincent and Rachel arrive to make an announcement.
* Vincent: Everyone, Rachel and I have an announcement to make! We've decided to renew our vows!
* Sally and Francois get up to listen!
* Rachel: And now Vincent's returned the ring he bought that cheap floozy...
* Rachel has the money bag to give to Sally!
* Sally: I... I don't know what to say! Thank you, but I can't accept this.
* Vincent: Sally, you do so much for everyone without thinking twice. It's our pleasure to give something back.
* Sally: I... I...
* Francois takes the money bag and puts in his pocket.
* Francois: She means thanks, we'll put it in the safe, and deposit it first thing in the morning.

## Level 20 - Elementary, my dear Sally

* Francois enters the place alone.
* Francois: Man... I know I say this a LOT, but remind me not to come into work if I've been partying too heavily.
* Sally appears from left.
* Sally: The money...
* Francois: Oh yeah! Ready to make a run to the bank, before savoring April's annoying-but-hot face when we tell her?
* Sally: It's gone.
* Francois: Sorry, I'm not up to speed on banking terms. It's gone HOW?
* Sally: Someone broke into the safe and stole it!
* Francois: But who even knew we put it there?
* Sally: Just Rachel and Vincent. But they GAVE us the money.
* Francois: Well, we know Tilly the pooch has an appetite for jewelry. Maybe she got a craving for hard currency?
* Sally: Francois, what do we DO?
* Francois: Simple!
* Francois gets a whistle and magnifying glass!
* Francois: We solve the case.
* Sally: But if April raises HER share first...
* Francois: Don't worry, Sally. I've watched a lot of cop shows. Never all the way through, but still.
* Francois: Now then. What did the money LOOK like?

### Post-chapter

* In the cafe, April is listening to the head phones.
* Radio: You are a doer who takes charge.
* April: I am a doer who takes charge!
* Radio: Everyone respects and fears you!
* April: Everyone respects and fears me!
* Radio: \*sigh\* Sorry. I can't say this crap anymore. I wanted to me a mime!
* Radio (explosion): \*BANG!\*
* April: Typical.
* Phone: BR-RRIIINNNGGG!!!!
* April answers the call.
* April: What?
* Phone: Excuse me?
* April: I mean, mistress. I mean -
* Phone: Can the blather. I have good news.
* April: When it's from you, it's ALWAYS good!
* Phone: C plus on the grovel. I spoke to the Board of Directors.
* Phone: They agreed to let me advance you the funds to buy out this Sally person.
* April: I... I...
* Phone: You're welcome. And incidentally, if anything goes wrong, I'll see to it that you're finished.
* Phone: Not just career-wise either.
* April: I understand, my... boss.
* Phone: Let's hope so. Click.
* April: Umm...
* Phone: That's your cue to hang up, fool.
* April hangs up.
* April: I've won.
* April: I've won! I'VE WON! I'VE WON!
* That was the mistress from the call.