Episode 82: Digging Holes

**Video:**
1:00:01

**Video:**
digging holes.mp4

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

We've all heard of digging a hole to China, but what if we dug a hole to wherever we want? The hole can deliver our goods and services. Wait, to do this wouldn't you need Avengers Level Tech? Probably, but hear us out. Iron Man Tony Stark...

## Idea Details

* Idea: Digging Holes
* Creator of idea: Drew
* Purpose of idea: Well, uh, I think probably a lot of people have heard about what's going on in Canada right now, um -- (Josiah: "The Olympics!") Well, other than that, there are 50,000 truckers right now uh on Ottawa -- (Josiah: "And no wonder our uh packages are taking so s-- so... long.") Well that's exactly what I wanna talk about, Josiah. Um, because all the truckers are in Ottawa protesting the vaccine uh and vaccine mandates. Uh, unfortunately our prime minister has COVID-19 right now, uh -- (Josiah: "And that prime minister, for those listening from Australia, is kind of like a president.") Mhm. Justin Trudeau. (Josiah: "May he rest in peace.") So, there's *huge* supply chain issues going on in Canada right now -- (Josiah: "We already -- yeah, we already ta-- I mean, there already was, to begin with.") I know! And it's -- and it's -- this is exacerbated it, Josiah. (Josiah: "The supply -- uh, the supply chain has gotten so bad that uhh...") This supply chain's *so* bad, I wish they would 'supply chain' -- they would 'supply chain' to my -- \*ahem\* to my head, uh. (Josiah: "The supply chain has gotten so bad that marriages are ending because there's no more chain to the ba-- for the ball of the w-- uh. Is it the wi-- Is the wife the ball or the chain?") I think the wife is -- I think your wife is -- (Josiah: "The ball *and* chain.") Well it's not ba-- it's bell and chain, right? (Josiah: "Bell and Chainbastian.") Right. (Josiah: "So what are you trying to say? You wanna kill the truckers?") No, I'm saying -- (Josiah: "And replace them with AI?") No. That's not what I'm saying, Josiah. (Josiah: "Just blink if you do wanna do that, though.") \*Drew blinks but remains silent\* (Josiah: "OK. What were you saying?") Imagine, Josiah, a World Wide Train. This is something that we've proposed before, of course. (Josiah: "Yep, of course...") Um, would a World Wide Train be better for delivering packages and whatnot than using truckers? (Josiah: "Well, the Train already has people --") That's exactly right! (Josiah: "-- *and* so much piss and shit and cum and puke.") That's exactly right. (Josiah: "And menstrual blood.") That's exactly right. And that's -- for that reason, the World Wide Train can *only* be used for transporting people. It cannot be used for -- (Josiah: "And fluids.") And fluids. It cannot be used for transporting your Amazon deliveries. So, while that is a very tempting option to go with, uh it's not available. Can't use it. So what are our other options to replace the current supply chain? Well, Josiah, I -- (Josiah: "Well, wa-- hang on! I thought you were asking me a question!") Uh huh? OK, well go ahead. (Josiah: "So what are the other options to replace the supply chain?") Mhm. (Josiah: "..........................I have no idea.") I've already thought about, like, about 50 different ones. But this is the best one, I think. You've heard of digging a hole to China, right? (Josiah: " 'Dick' -- Did you say, 'Dicking a hole?' ") Digging -- digging a hole. Digging -- (Josiah: "Like *fucking* a hole?") No, digging, digging, digging, digging a hole to China, right? (Josiah: "Yeah, isn't that -- is that -- are we allowed to say that anymore?") Why not? (Josiah: "Some sort of b-- is that -- does that reinforce some sort of stereotype about where China's located?") Well, here's the thing, Josiah: you'd have to be in Argentina if you were to e-- that's where you'd have to start for it to go *straight through* to find China. But -- (Josiah: "So, are you saying that -- you know uh the Joe -- people say it's Joe Biden; but it's not, it's Joe Budden - I know you're a 'buddin' rap fan - once tweeted, 'I'm so horny, I could f-- I could create a new hole.' And so what you're saying is that your idea this week is you'd like to create a new hole in the Earth's core, um, and it's gonna... you're gonna fuck it?") No, Josiah, I'm not going to do that with the hole. The hole is going to be -- (Josiah: "We've already had a Globe Hole episode, also. So this is different?") This is different, Josiah. This is purely for delivering items.
* Timetable: No timetable was given for Digging Holes to be implemented. However, it would only require the technology to be created that would allow for Iron Man suit Drones to become Tunnelers that can Dig Holes through Earth, along with boxes made of the most powerful metal on the planet (steelium) to prevent burns or damage, as well as tunnel technology to prevent packages from sticking on the sides of walls, plus open communication with Hell to ensure they can handle Shipping & Receiving if any packages go through there. With that in mind, it should be ready to alleviate the recent strains on the supply chain very soon.
* Idea details:
	+ There are truckers protesting in Ottawa, Canada right now because of COVID-19 vaccines and COVID-19 vaccine mandates. Due to the protests, there are even more supply chain issues than ever before. Unfortunately, the World Wide Train (noun) is too full with people and with piss, shit, cum, puke, and menstrual blood to help deliver packages. To remedy this, we will Dig Holes through Earth that will allow food and packages to be delivered to the other side of the planet in only 38 minutes. This will include pizza delivery and will include if someone in Chile wants Chinese - as in, literally directly from China.
		- Note: It might seem logical that the World Wide Mutual Aid DIY Delivery Service would be able to help solve the supply chain crisis, since everyone's neighbors will be compelled to deliver everything for you. And with the World Wide Chain, they will be moving faster than ever. With these considerations in mind, the idea of Digging Holes may seem somewhat redundant, but that is merely a reflection of how bad the supply chain issue has gotten. This issue also helps resolve the issue of very quickly sending food to a friend on the opposite side of Earth from you.
	+ This is not a food app, like Dinder, because it is for any item you can send, and specifically to someone on the other side of the planet.
	+ A new type of box will be invented for people to use that will keep packages and food safe in Earth's core.
	+ If you throw a package in a Hole, it will go to the other side of Earth faster than if you simply drop it in. There will also be Package Guns that are like T-shirt Cannons and if you shoot the package in the Hole with a Package Gun then it will go even faster. This would be especially useful for people who are sending multiple packages and/or foods.
	+ We will create a Tunneler that will Dig the Holes. This would be like if you had an Iron Man suit that could allow you to dig into the Earth, but if you had a Drone with that same capability instead.
	+ You must be directly on the other side of the planet Earth from the destination to which your package and/or food is being sent. So to deliver something to China, for instance, you would take the package with you on the World Wide Train (noun) to Argentina, and then get a Drone Tunneler to Dig a Hole to the other side of Earth (China).
	+ A system will be figured out to make sure packages aren't just getting stuck to the walls of the Holes.
	+ All small businesses in the world will be eliminated.
		- Note: This already took place with the implementation of World Wide Walmart, whereby all specialized stores were consolidated under one rooftop.
	+ At some point, someone is going to Dig a Hole to Hell since it is somewhere in the center of the planet and thus a Drone Tunneler will eventually pierce Hell. To remedy this, the demons and tortured peoples of Hell will work Shipping & Receiving instead of having one overworked man do it all, which was the original plan.
	+ There will be no more packages that are human-sized or larger. This will ensure that Hitler does not break out of Hell.
	+ There will be no more tipping because those tips would go to the demons and peoples of Hell working in Shipping & Receiving and we don't want to tip them. They are also not trustworthy, although neither are delivery drivers now.
	+ All packages will still be ordered on Amazon, the same as it is now. If the thing you ordered is not available on the other side of the planet from you, then it will just get delivered regularly. But if you wanted to send that same thing to someone in China, then you would take the World Wide Train (noun) to Argentina and then send the package through the Earth using a Drone Tunneler and throwing it in to give it a bit of a speed boost, if you want. In other words, the powers of Hell and Holes throughout the entire Earth will be utilized as a secondary shipping option if you want something to arrive slightly faster. It's more so just for sending packages to people you know, like if you have family living overseas. And if the opposite side of Earth from you isn't that close to them, one or both of you could easily just take the World Wide Train (noun) somewhere else so it won't be an issue to cover that distance.
	+ The mail service will no longer be used for person-to-person delivery, unless you ask a mailperson to drop it off somewhere for you. Other than that, all person-to-person mailing and shipping is being sent through the core of the Earth, where the Hellworkers will make sure there are no clogs. Since Hell is not necessarily in the center of Earth, then not necessarily every package will be directed through Hell.
	+ The package boxes will be made of the most powerful metal on the planet: steelium.
	+ Microsoft will make the Drone Tunnelers and there will be billions of them since there are billions of people on the planet.
	+ The steelium boxes will recycle.
	+ Shipping will be free because you don't have to send it anywhere anymore.

## Devil Play

* Josiah played devil by expressing that he was fearful that they would eventually Dig so many Holes into the Earth that it would cause the Earth to trigger people's trypophobia due to it being covered in holes. He added that it's not just that women be shoppin' these days; it's *people* be shoppin', and also people be shippin' too, all of which would be causing Holes.
	+ Drew suggested that they would simply have the Drone Tunneler fill them in, say, an hour after delivery.
	+ Josiah suggested this was a waste of resources because someone else would most likely want to order the same products as the person who received their package first, which would cause the Drone Tunneler to be constantly Digging and filling the same Hole over and over again. He suggested, instead, that they simply normalize trypophobia, as in, get rid of the phobia of trypophobia and everyone needs to be OK with scary Holes. He admitted that he is often accused of being too idealistic, though.
	+ Drew noted that this was an option and not a bad idea.
* In response to Drew saying there was only one thing wrong with his idea, Josiah noted that there were many things wrong with it. Drew asked him to name one, so he gave the example problem that they couldn't necessarily guarantee the packages would get where they need to go; they could get stuck to the walls of the Tunneler's Holes, for instance.
	+ Drew impatiently exclaimed that they would simply figure it out so that didn't happen.
	+ Josiah asked if there would be some guy in the middle doing Shipping & Receiving.
	+ Drew agreed, saying there would be a guy in the middle of the Earth scanning packages and food.
	+ Josiah clarified that Drew meant for there to be one guy scanning all the world's packages and food deliveries.
	+ Drew stated that there's not gonna be that many packages being sent.
	+ Josiah asked why not, based on the amount of shit that people buy on the regular. He also asked how you could guarantee that the package would actually shoot through the Hole.
	+ Drew explained that you would simply chuck it down. He went on to impatiently clarify that it's a Hole so the package will fall through.
	+ Josiah agreed that this was fine and he liked it.
* Josiah went on to express his one concern, which was that they would need to eliminate small businesses.
	+ Drew acceded to that request.
	+ Josiah went on to describe how everything would move to big box stores with small businesses being eliminated worldwide.
	+ Drew said 'World Wide Walmart'.
		- Note: Drew said this in response to Josiah's devil play here because World Wide Walmart is already facilitating this aspect of Josiah's devil play, making it a redundant concern to bring up.
* Drew brought up the only actual problem with Digging Holes, which is Digging a Hole to Hell.
	+ Josiah asked to clarify that Drew thinks that Hell is in the center of the Earth.
	+ Drew explained that at some point someone is going to Dig a Hole to Hell, which is somewhere down there; somewhere in the planet. He asked what will happen when Hell is pierced by a Drone delivering a package.
	+ Josiah remained unconvinced that Hell is somewhere in the Earth's crust. However, since he wanted to help Drew through his half-baked idea, he said if they should ever Dig a Hole to Hell then they make them work like hell.
	+ Drew, frustrated with Josiah's not taking his point seriously, expressed his feeling that it would be terrifying to look in a Drone Tunneler's Hole when you send a package and then you see your own parents in the Hole waving up at your from Hell.
	+ Josiah asked if Hell is in the center of the Earth then why don't they just make the demons do the Shipping & Receiving.
	+ Drew explained that the demons aren't going to listen to them because they are gonna attack and kill them.
	+ Josiah asked why he would even start this idea, in that case.
	+ Drew explained that it's a great idea; they just have to figure out this issue with the demons.
	+ Josiah said he had already figured it out: Shipping & Receiving.
	+ Drew, flabbergasted, asked why Josiah thought the demons and Satan would listen to him.
	+ Josiah asked if Drew had ever seen *South Park*.
	+ Drew said he had.
	+ Josiah said Satan is funny on that show.
	+ Drew asked if Josiah's suggestion was that they cut a deal with Satan and say that work is hell.
	+ Josiah explained that that's capitalism. He explained further that every time you click Buy Now, you're playing this very dangerous game. He went on to say that the problem with leftism capitalism is that workers complain so much and say that work is hell. So if they instead make the people in Hell work Shipping & Receiving, then since it's all relative, to them it will actually be normal or better.
	+ Drew clarified that Josiah meant then that he didn't want Hitler to be tortured in Hell, but rather to be working Shipping & Receiving. He went on to ask what would happen if Hitler were to escape from Hell after being hit by a package.
	+ Josiah said they would need to make sure there are no human-sized packages. This will ensure that Hitler does not break out of Hell.
* Josiah played devil real quick that if it was Christmas time and everyone is sending gifts to their family to be picked up on the other side of the planet from them, then what if the Earth suddenly collapses because there are too many Holes in it.
	+ Drew said good riddance and who gives a fuck.
	+ Josiah agreed and said he thought it was a great idea.

## Notable Events

* In relation to the fact that they released two different Episode 79s (Episode 79: Quiet Reflections and Episode 79: Verified People), Josiah and Drew established that 79 is a sex position because it is 10 higher than 69 so it's higher up on the body. It involves either rubbing your ass against someone's shoulder blades or eating their coochie while sucking on their toes.
* Josiah and Drew discussed the Globe Hell Patreon. They revealed that all the money they make from the Patreon will go towards reading and not towards themselves.
* Josiah and Drew discussed Olympics and what are they. They watched the following videos:
	+ "Learn About The Winter Olympics With Ozzie | Educational Video For Kids About The Winter Games | Learn With Ozzie".
		- During this video, Josiah and Drew discussed the fact that Ozzie was wearing a green hat which means he must not have been using a green screen. They also discussed his beautiful blue eyes.
	+ "The Olympic Games | The Olympics for Kids | Jack Hartmann".
		- During this video, Josiah and Drew sang along about The Olympics. They learned that The Olympics is leftist and are for everyone.
	+ "The Olympics for Kids".
		- During this video, Josiah and Drew discussed how they should start doing homeschooling for people's children. They also discussed Hitler's paintings and whether they or good or bad. Drew asked Josiah if he denounces anti-semitism and the Nazi ideology and Josiah said he supports any country as long as they sign up for The Olympics. Josiah brought up that some people call Hitler socialist. Drew felt that Hitler should not be allowed in The Olympics and announced that Hitler is very much alive and well today. Josiah and Drew discussed whether Hitler is in Drew's house, which is why Josiah isn't allowed to go over to Drew's house. They then discussed dictators and how they make a mythology of themselves and that's how Hitler won so many medals at The Olympics. They then discussed whether Woody Allen should be allowed to compete in The Olympics. They then discussed the morality tests that should be required before anyone can compete, such as whether you are a killer or use marijuana, as well as bans on things like performance enhancing drugs. Josiah and Drew discussed Johnny Depp.
* At 3:09, the episode idea 'Digging Holes' flashes on the bottom of the screen for a split second.
* At 3:14, Drew displayed his kitten Duck.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "What Would Happen If You Could Fall Through Earth" about how if you wanted to fall through Earth, you would need to build an airless vacuum straight through the core.
* Josiah revealed that his usual online order is diarrhea medicine and constipation medicine at once, because if you take both, it's nature's probiotic. Drew revealed that his usual online order is pocket pussy because it gets to a point where it becomes useless and worse than a hand because your dick gets used to it and you have to switch it up so then maybe you rub it on the carpet for a week and then switch back.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Digging A Hole All The Way To China - Challenge" about someone successfully digging a hole to China.
* Josiah and Drew discussed the difference between a hole and a tunnel.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Big Sugar - Diggin A Hole" about the song *Diggin' a Hole* by Big Sugar.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "THE FEAR OF HOLES!! Trypophobia Test (Watch If You Dare)" about how Dad suffers from trypophobia and he did not realise it until it was too late!
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "HOLE TO HELL | Screams Recorded at the Bottom of the Deepest Borehole" about how the Kola Superdeep Borehole  is the result of a scientific drilling project of the Soviet Union in the Pechengsky District, on the Kola Peninsula.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "People Who Claim to Have Been to Hell" about people who believe they've seen hell's lake of fire filled with demons to others who claim to have seen celebrities in hell.
* Josiah and Drew briefly watched a video called "WORK LIKE HELL - Best Motivational Video".
* Josiah and Drew rewatched "People Who Claim to Have Been to Hell".
* Josiah and Drew discussed whether Michael Jackson is dead in Hell, dead in Heaven, or possibly alive.
* Josiah doxxed some people living in the middle of the ocean.
* At 56:58, Drew displayed his kitten Duck again.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "Don't fuckin' say, 'What if we did a silent episode?' again. Don't say it!"
	+ Note: This followed Drew introducing both of the main episodes that followed Episode 79: Quiet Reflections, Episode 80: Legal Battles and Episode 79: Verified People, by asking if they should do another silent episode.
* "I know you're joking, but I do think people who use marijuana should be rounded up and..."
* "I mean, Hitler *cannot* compete in The Olympics anymore."
* "The supply chain has gotten so bad that marriages are ending because there's no more chain to the ba-- for the ball of the w-- uh. Is it the wi-- Is the wife the ball or the chain?"
* [On the topic of the wife being both the ball/bell and the chain] "Bell and Chainbastian."
* "So what are you trying to say? You wanna kill the truckers? And replace them with AI?"
* [On the topic of the possibility of putting packages on the World Wide Train (noun)] "Well, the Train already has people *and* so much piss and shit and cum and puke. And menstrual blood."
* "And so what you're saying is that your idea this week is you'd like to create a new hole in the Earth's core, um, and it's gonna... you're gonna fuck it? We've already had a Globe Hole episode, also. So this is different?"
* "Is that the clit in the middle?"
* "Do you think gravity's real?"
* "Cause, you know, famously, pizzas, if they're not delivered in 30 minutes, uh the driver is executed."
* "What do *you* usually order online? I usually order uh diarrhea medicine and uh constipation medicine at once. [unintelligible] Like, if you take both, then you're perfect. It's kind of nature's probiotic."
* "But I still kind of think that you wanna fuck the Earth Hole."
	+ Note: Josiah leveled a similar accusation against Drew for his previous Hole idea in Episode 36: Globe Hole.
* "Is it annoying if I chew gum? Can anyone hear this? \*chew\* \*chew\*"
* "The main issue of leftism capitalism is that workers are whining a lot and crying about everything and they don't have enough whatever, they need more smoke breaks, or whatever the fuck. You know, I need to -- 'Oh, my God! Yo, I need to have another smoke break even though the people who don't smoke don't get to have as many smoke breaks as me,' just crying a -- the -- a riv-- So *they* think that work is Hell, but what I'm saying is if -- *if* Hell is in the center of the Earth and people are already in there, then they're not gonna think that ship-- doing Shipping & Receiving is hell and -- cause they'll -- cause it's all relative. So they'll think that it's nor-- they'll think that it's better."
* "So let's say you are ordering something leftist: Ka-- uh K-- nt-- Marx Brothers. Karl Marx Brothers DVD *Duck Soup*."
* "Cause if the Earth has become a tryptophobia uh Hole ball, then there's all kinds of Holes and tunnels that it could be sent through."
* "You're sending your Scottish family pocket pussies, you're gonna have to put them in a message-in-a-bottle kind of thing. And then they have to travel south to the middle of the ocean."

### Drew

* "Cause, you know, Episode 79 - the first time we did it - was the silent episode."
	+ Note: The second time they did Episode 79 was Episode 79: Verified People.
* [On the topic of 79ing someone] "It's when you're eating coochie *and* suckin' on their toes."
* "Why is everything that you choose geared at children?"
* "Do you, right now, denounce anti-semitism? Now, do you denounce the Nazi ideology, Josiah?"
* "Hitler's very much alive and well today."
* "Well then look at -- look at the news and then look in the mirror and then look back at the news again, then take a look a back at this Olympics, then take a look a be-- g-- at Olympic history and take a look at back at Hitler's participation in The Olympic Games. I'm just sayin'!! I'm just sayin'!!"
* "You shouldn't be Hitler."
* [On the topic of Johnny Depp and The Olympics] "Look, trust me, I don't think Johnny's interested in being in The Olympics; he's got bigger things to worry about."
* "This supply chain's *so* bad, I wish they would 'supply chain' -- they would 'supply chain' to my -- \*ahem\* to my head, uh."
* [In response to Josiah's question about whether the core in the middle of Earth is the clit] "Yes. Earth's clit."
* [In response to Josiah's question about what his usual online order is] "Pocket pussy. Well, I -- it gets to a point. It gets to a point where it just becomes useless. It's worse than a hand. Cause your dick gets used to it. And you have to switch it up. So then you just, 'Maybe I'll just rub it on the carpet for a week,' and then switch back."
* "Don't use a sick mind."
* [In response to Josiah's accusation that he wants to fuck the Hole in Earth] "I don't wanna fuck it. Look, I could just put a hole in the ground; it doesn't -- I wouldn't need an Iron Man suit for that. I'd o-- All I would have to do is be able to dig 18 inches."
* "World Wide Walmart."
* "And what happens when Hell is pierced by a Drone delivering a package??"
* "Imagine seeing your own parents in Hell. Imagine going to get -- sending a package through the Earth and you s-- you look thr-- you look in the Hole and there's your parents waving up, and you say, 'Oh! Mom and Dad! I haven't seen you --' "
* "You don't believe in Hell? You don't believe that Michael Jackson is being tortured in Hell right now? You think Michael Jackson's in Heaven?"
* "Imagine being tortured and then all of a sudden you get hit by a package."
* "So you're saying you want Hitler not to be tortured in Hell. You want him to be working Shipping & Receiving. And what if he broke out, by the way?"
* "I'm just saying maybe these demons are not the most trustworthy."
* [On the topic of the potential for the Earth to collapse if there are too many Holes being Dug at once] "Well, good riddance. Who gives a fuck."

## Trivia

* Drew is significantly louder than Josiah in this episode.
* This is the second episode with the word "Hole" in the episode title, after Episode 36: Globe Hole.
* This is Drew's second episode idea about holes, after Episode 36: Globe Hole.
	+ Note: In both episodes, Josiah asked Drew to clarify that his real intent was not to simply fuck Earth.
* This is Drew's second episode idea about delivering food and other items, after Episode 66: World Wide Mutual Aid DIY Delivery Service, though it is the third such episode overall including Episode 22: Food.
* This is the second episode involving singing about The Olympics, after Globe Hell "Does" Sarantos.