Adolf Hitler

—**Hitler**, after embarrassing himself in front of the entirety of the world when he fumbled his rap against Eminem. These were his last words.

**Adolf Hitler** was the Führer and Rapper Supreme of Germany, from 1921 to April 30, 1945. He was the inventor of Naziism because he was on drugs and hated Socialists a lot except for Iosef Stalin, another supreme guy who likes sending people to concentration camps, until Russia decided to defend itself against the Burgewehr.

## Early Life

The first time Hitler was born was on April 20, 1889. He was born in Austria, but everyone at that time considered Austria to be a part of Germany, therefore, Austrians are Germans, to the dismay of the prouder Austrians.

Hitler was exposed to rap music at an early age and wanted to be a rapper. His mother, who cared a whole awful lot about him, gave him whatever rap related stuff he wanted, like CDs and a microphone. His father didn't like that he wanted to be a rapper instead of a "real artist," a painter like him. Hitler's mother died from the Sigmar Khan virus, allowing his father to remove all of the rap stuff his mother gave to him and get him to become a painter.

"*Screw that!*" Hitler said at the suggestion of becoming a painter like his father, as he ran off to a community school for rapping. At that school, he learned the Ways of the Hippity Hoppity Skiboppity and the Ways of the Pth Chk Ch Ksh, which really expanded his knowledge on rapping and also beatboxing, he also learned the Ways of the Wub Wub Bwau Bwau as an extra-curricular activity.

Though, despite learning the stuff about rapping, he failed at rapping good, which led to his failure of the class. This failure of his favorite thing led him to doing drugs like the Aryan Spirit, which made him susceptible to doing epic speeches. He did one of these Aryan Spirit speeches in the class of his rap teacher, and everyone around him was so amazed by it that the rap teacher suggested that he do public speaking, but Hitler declined because he hated school now.

### Adulterhood

Hitler was a really stupid guy during this time, he did a huge amount of drugs and did the Bier Hall Putsch, a failed coup of Germany. This time is where he got his giga hate of Communists.

#### Bier Hall Putsch

The Bier Hall Putsch was a failed attempt at a coup of Germany by Hitler and his druggy friends, most of whom were imaginary. They walked up to a beer hall in Germany, with no guns and decided to announce that this was a coup and everyone in the hall is marked for the dying. Hitler was arrested and sent to prison for being a retarded terrorist. Hitler just left the prison because the sentence for a retarded terrorist is only 5 weeks. But Hitler was special; he was released in a commune in the countryside after his sentence because Emperor Bismarck thought it would be funny.

#### Why He Hates Commies

Hitler was sent to a commune of hippies who did more drugs than Hitler. They also believed in things like no government or leaders and equal pay (they were paid with food). Hitler was uncomfortable about the amount of drugs they did, it made him reduce his use of Aryan Spirit. This place is where Hitler made his second epic speech that would convince the commune to stop being a commune. He made this speech because there was a guy in the commune who never worked yet still got paid the same amount as the guys who worked. He used his rap skills and sung a speech about how rarted rewarded laziness was and how Mr. Man should be executed for being a burden on the people. He convinced everyone to murder the lazy guy and move back to urban Germany. One such former commune member was Heinrich Himmler, who became Hitler's right-hand killing man and best friend.

## Invention of Naziism

Naziism (or Nazism if you need that time) was invented when Hitler was high on Aryan Spirit and experienced the Aryan Borealis, a thing that only happens when overdosing on Aryan Spirit. What he saw during this borealis was a world of German-speakers and the Gearth, a world free from communists, and a whole lotta swastikas.

After the drug trip, Adolf Hitler conferred with his friends in the Reischtag and officially created Naziism, the Nazi Party, and Nazi Germany on Oktober 27, 1921.

## World War II

### Invasion of Countries That Don't Matter

Hitler and Stalin started World War II when they enacted the Invasion of Poland. They easily succeeded because Poland was full of weak femboys at this time. Hitler and Stalin would stop being friends when Hitler was visited by Biggie Cheese, who told him that invading France was a really good idea, and so, Hitler did what Biggie Cheese told him to do and invaded France. France, being France, lost.

### Invasion of Russia

Hitler then made the fatal mistake of invading Russia. Like Napoleon during the First Reich, all of his soldiers froze to death because they were not molded by the blizzard like Russians. This led to Hitler's downfall.

Hitler lost France when the US Army landed at The Beach With the Giant Wall of Sand and caught the soldiers high on drugs.

## Brain Damage

Now with the Russians on their way to Hamburg, Hitler was becoming super sad and began to rap with Biggie Cheese instead of giving orders to the Burgewehr. This would lead to the Burgewehr being destroyed by the Red Army in the Battle of Berlin.

When Hitler was in the Herrbunker he was challenged by Eminem to a rap battle. Wanting to relive his better days, he accepted the challenge. He failed miserably as he got tripped on his second line and Eminem roasted him far too much for any possible recovery. Eminem left as Hitler's friends had to admit that he got dunked on. Hitler, overwhelmed by every defeat, killed himself by putting a Walther to his brain while overdosing on Aryan Spirit on April 30, 1945.

## Trivia

* Hitler loves watermelons, he even made "*Mein Melon*", a book about how much he loved watermelons.
* There are many Hitlers for some reason, some include:
	+ Zitler - zombie Hitler.
	+ Hitler's Ghost
	+ Ye Kitler - Kanye West when he combined with Hitler's Ghost.
	+ Hitroll - Rick Astley Hitler.
	+ Adulphus Hitlering - Hitler reborn again.
	+ Zaydolf Kritler - Hitler's android grandson.

* this is the first trivia thingy, yay!