Savior (GAM224)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Savior*** is the story of the birth of Jesus Christ, set in modern day England, with the Prime Minister getting possessed by Satan, setting up Jim Crow laws for immigrants, and trying to murder a baby. So, it's a super responsible version of Brexit.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we watch another selection from Christian cinema, because *that's* what it says in this intro template.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you ever wondered what it would be like if Jesus was born in modern times, but you *do not want the story to change in any possible way* that isn't boring word play, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: ...trying to figure out the modern version of stuff.
* Noah: ...virginity.
* Eli: ...pun.

### **Notes**

* Christmas-tacular!
* The film was written, directed, produced, acted, and scored by Freedom Church, Hereford, England.
* Not to be confused with *Savior* (1998) with Dennis Quaid.

### **Jokes**

* "And so, here's the problem with spending the big bucks on your stock footage up front, is that all of that's like these nature documentary shots that were shot with really really nice cameras in super slow motion and shit. You get the hummingbird flapping its wings, and then we cut immediately from that to the actual movie, which is… you know, the best they could do with that flip phone. I'm like, 'Oh cool, they got Michael J. Fox to be the cameraman for the rest of the movie.' Did... nobody ever looked over and was like 'Okay, well that guy is just *trembling*. Is he having a fit? We should get an exorcist and *then* do the movie.' Maybe we get him some heroine *before* the shot." *(11:48)*
* "That's a fucked up story in the Bible, because it *is* a horror movie, but they pretend—they're like… we're told... *kids* are told 'No, this is the Bible, this isn't a horror movie.' But an angel shows up to this virginal fourteen year old and is like "Hello! I'm not going to sexually assault you.' And she's like 'What? That's a weird first thing to say. So, you're not? Okay. Do you have a follow up?' And he *does*, he's like 'Okay yeah, that being said, my boss *is* going to sexually assault you. My boss… that's the rest of my announcement. My boss is God by the way, the god of the universe.' They keep showing us lens flare and bright lights and shit, and it's like… yeah, but we're watching angel rape right now is what we're watching. Right? We know what's going on here." (20:15)
* And there's this great moment between him and… I guess himself, where he's like 'I'm helpless against this child!', and him/Satan is like 'Seriously, you can't think of anything you could do to a baby?' Have you read the Mayo Guide dude? The first three chapters are shit that kills it. They can't have a blanket! A *blanket* will kill it. You can't *blink* while you're bathing it—it's fucking insane. Shake it! Apparently that kills it right there on the spot; everyone keeps telling me shaking it's the best way to kill a baby! I'm telling you man, I've got twelve pamphlets here with your guide to killing this baby. (56:25)

### **Interstitials**

* "Okay, the last one is definitely not real." (8:08)
* "Joseph, I have something to tell you: I'm pregnant." (45:10)
* Tall Tyler Efficient Exchange Program (44:44)

### **Tropes**

* Alcohol=Bad Guy
* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* Dollar in the Swear Jar
* Persecuted Christians

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Trailer on YouTube
* Film on YouTube
* IMDB