Garloids

Garloids (*Proteus Garloidia)* are a species of amphibians that inhabit most of the multiverse in several habitats. They are best known for their entire lack of a brain, and their nutritious milk that is a common favorite among garloid farmers and their families. While their entire genome is well documented, their origin and prevalence is an anomaly to modern zoologists, suggesting garloids either have some unknown traits or their success as a species has been artificial.

## Anatomy

The common garloid is normally 2-3 feet in length, with a circumference of 4-6 inches. However, due to their simplistic genome and high mutability, this size can vary, sometimes drastically. A subspecies of garloid, the Leviathan Garloid (*P. Garloidia Orbis),* have been observed at 600 meters in length, although usually at around the same diameter of 4-6 inches.

Garloids pigmentation tends to range from white to brownish-red. There is no scientific evidence suggesting white or albino garloids produce better milk, this is a myth. The color variation seems to have no reason in some cases, but there is a higher density of sand colored garloids in deserts, and brown garloids in swamps. This suggests there is some process that encourages camouflage.

There is a significant lack of organs in garloids. There appears to be primitive nerve receptors covering the body of a garloid, allowing them to feel touch and react instinctually. Otherwise, there are a few scattered photoreceptor glands that can sense light. The garloid has a single linear track digestive system, where water alone is processed and nutrients dissolved in the water can be processed. However, the garloid rarely needs to truly feed. Rather, they can sustain on pure water for years at a time, making them effective in areas with no biological matter or useful chemicals to consume.

## Ecology

A well kept garloid can live upwards of 10 years, and one garloid instance , Solomon, had lived 4000 years before its passing. This is mainly due to a non-existent metabolism and decreased cell-decay, allowing for a proper sedentary lifestyle.

They are highly resilient, although a garloid cannot survive temperatures below -80 degrees Celsius, or above 300 degrees Celsius

Garloids are genderless, and reproduce infrequently despite what their large population may suggest. Only once in their life, a garloid can produce 4-5 'seeds' that are often taken by wind, water currents, or other means of travel. If settled in water and mud for a period of time, new juvenile garloids will grow and reach maturity after 1 month. Oddly, some garloids simply do not produce seeds. There is a 23-29% chance that a garloid will not reproduce in its lifetime.

When threatened, a garloids main defense mechanism is to flail and die.

## Cultural Significance

Garloids have been an important source of food and worship in some cultures for thousand of years, and some records show writings of undiscovered subspecies rom the Beginning Times. Besides it being worshipped, it is best known globally as a source of Garloid Milk, the cholesterol -rich byproduct of the garloid feeding process. This drink has been outlawed in most civilized societies, and as such garloid farming is a Class 1 legal offense in large governing bodies like the Crandis Federation. Regardless, the ease of farming garloids still makes business boom in the underground garloid milk market, and it is one of the main goods that can be bought an sold in District 10 of New Crunk City.

## Trivia

* The closest known relative to garloids are olms
* There are 4 recognized subspecies of garloids
* Feeding garloids tap water is very unhealthy for them due to the fluoride, and it is recommended to instead feed them filtered water or a few types of mineral water, although many minerals are deadly to garloids.

### Significant Garloids:

* Solomon, the only garloid to achieve sentience as well as the oldest garloid believed to have lived, living to an impressive 4000 years old. It was also a famed poet and beloved Sky Texan icon.
* The Leviathan, a gargantuan jet black Leviathan Garloid with a circumference of 10 feet and a total length yet to be determined, and currently the main enemy of the giant albino Alphasquatch Seasquatch Grobby Dink.
* Godloid, the only garloid to have achieved godhood, after choking and killing Broswald the Immolator and absorbing his God Energy, also the progenitor of the Roetunn garloid lineage.
* Prince Griplert, the only garloid to have held a position of power as the leader of an empire, which would fall shortly after its reign began.