Bario

The Banner boy himself.

**Bario**, also known by his full title **Bario Bario the Despoiler** is a recurring major character in Mount and Blade Bannerlord. An exceedingly powerful individual, he can take even a peasant army to crushing victory in battle.

## History

As evidenced by his name, his small stature and iconic mustache, Bario Mario was born a Vlandian and cousin of none other than the legendary Mario of the Mario game franchise.

Although less well known than Mario, Bario became an accomplished man early in life. Even as a child he was strong enough to dispatch over a dozen Goombas in melee combat in under a minute, saved part of his city from a fire by rerouting the plumbing with his hereditary plumbing talents, and rescued Mario's brother Luigi from bandits. Naturally, when a massive dragon (seemingly not Bowser) attacked their realm, Bario teamed up with Mario to defeat the monster but was killed nearly instantly. The mushrooms, unable to take the loss of their hero, took to the dark arts to resurrect him via a dark ritual, which succeeded but enabled a sinister otherworldly being to take over his body and corrupt his soul with hatred. Gone was Bario Mario the hero plumber: he even went so far as to forsake his family name, giving himself his soon-to-be infamous title: Bario Bario the Despoiler.

### Peasants Only

Before long his new demonic patron bestowed upon him powers akin to the legendary 100-Stat Man and he immediately began to sow the seeds of conquest. Using his dark powers, he would ritualistically sacrifice a horse right in front of shopkeep counters (on the floor) to force them to give everything in stock for free, only to sell it back to them for a massive profit. This included the entire food supplies, which he would then just dump outside a city to let them starve. Many cities fell this way to Bario's cruelty, yet despite his terrifying reputation no one would ever refuse his deadly deals.

While robbing entire cities blind, Bario also amassed a party of peasants that soon grew into a horde as he conscripted the entire countryside to fight for him. Aside from three close friends, including Princess Peach in her battle form, Bario could not stand nobility such as lords and knights so he resolved to command only the unwashed masses to do his bidding. His army soon reached over 250 men; despite their poor quality, their sheer quantity prevailed in battles. His forces amassed, Bario formally declared war on Belithor's army defending the city of Ortongard, losing only 15 peasants against an army of over 100 proper soldiers, easily replenishing his losses from captives.

During the siege of Ortongard was when true extent of Bario's power was revealed as he began to rend the fabric of space just by existing too near to the castle. The experience, based on survivor accounts, was described as something similar to epileptic seizures and severe graphical glitches so bad that even Bario himself was partially disabled, leading to a relatively bloodless and successful capture of the city with the loss of a single drunk looter who fell face first down a ramp.

### Bannerlord with Guns

Of course, conquering his first city was not enough, for Bario's mechanical genius received a devilish inspiration: he wanted to craft a modern handheld minigun to more effectively slaughter masses of enemies in a totally balanced way. Leaving his peasant forces to watch Ortongard and taking three friends, he rode for Vlandia (conveniently on the opposite side of the map from his new city). Fortunately he found a light crossbow and enhanced it with his dark arts, mowing down an entire village of peasants to test it out.

Infuriated by his cruelty and bolstered in confidence as Bario no longer had his hordes to support him, several villages tried to resist but were horrifically gunned down. The Northern Empire dispatched an army of over 300 men to retake Ortongard, but Bario himself returned and massacred over half of the invasion force with his machine gun. An even larger army arrived and breached the city but was also repelled as several of Bario's men now had the technology as well. No longer was Bario relying on the quality *or* quantity of his men but rather turning the air itself into death for his enemies, using hit and run tactics to cheese any force large enough to brute force their way to a close encounter. In his desire for conquest he also executed every single noble he captured in battle, including the king of the Northern Empire himself, only to find he could now no longer establish his own kingdom as he would have to get the paperwork from the king whose head he had just lopped off.

Bario's mad adventures would not end there either.

## Appearances

* Peasants
* Mount And Blade Bannerlord But I Use Guns To Break The Game - Can You Beat Bannerlord With Guns?