The World's Sturdiest Chode

## Description

With the facade of the Grundle School falling to ash in front of them, the Dragon Friends are now faced with a dire choice - who will reunite the disparate halves of the resistance at long last.

## Synopsis

In the burning remains of the secret bar, Eleanor orders the prefects to invoke "Emergency Plan Taffeta" and to evacuate the entire school. Furious, she orders the Friends to come to her. Baston searches Silas' body to recover the key to the dagger case and a notebook. Eleanor explains that Silas was in enough debt to the school that he would have betrayed the vampires, but now he has been killed, "the whole operation" will have to be abandoned. She explains that Janos Meer was wrong about her retirement - she's been supporting the resistance all along, and the School was a "honey trap" set up by herself and Greatheart Banknote, but that she didn't tell Janos or Lothario because she doesn't trust them to keep the secret.

Eleanor signals Bobby to fetch a heavy gargoyle from the school gates for her, and as he climbs to do so, he notes that they are being watched by two Adjudicators and a man dressed in gothic style. Eleanor quickly resumes her facade; as the two Adjudicators approach, she cries for help with the burning school. One of the adjudicators is briefly impressed before Bobby stabs the second adjudicator and kills them, while Baston beats the gothic man to death (who turns out not to be a vampire but a random civilian who ran to fetch the Adjudicators after fleeing the underground bar). As a result of a bizarre serious of rolls, Banknote attempts to shake the Adjudicator's hand but misses and accidentally punches the guard in the face and then himself in the balls. Eleanor attempts to persuade the other adjudicator to leave peacefully, but he blows his alarm whistle. Baston rapidly opens a manhole cover in the street and the Friends clamber into the sewers to escape, Philge grabbing Eleanor with her.

In the sewers, Eleanor warns that someone is coming, and three hooded figures approach; one of them reveals themselves to be Lothario. The two start to bicker about their roles in the resistance as one of the figures reveals themselves as Bobson Dugnutt. He informs them that Janos has recovered from his illness and wishes to meet with all of them to reorganise the Resistance, and that they can show them a way through the cellars back to the Beggar's Court. When they meet him, Janos Meer announces that it's essential the resistance should reunite, but he has no interest in becoming the leader himself. After Lionshield tries and fails to persuade him that he should be the leader, Janos announces that they must choose someone to lead the resistance, and the other will be made to leave the city.

Philge makes the strange suggestion that Eleanor and Lothario should raise a baby together and that the newborn baby would be the symbol of the resistance. Janos asks if she knows who the baby would be. Philge doesn't know, and after some consideration they decide to shave Bobby Pancakes and put a nappy on him.

## Cast

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Bobby Pancakes
* Baston
* Lionshield Banknote
* Flappy, Philge's familiar and sardonic hype.. hawk

### NPCs

* Eleanor Grundle
* Lothario Windswept III

## Trivia

* The fifth episode recorded by remote multicasting due to Australia, as with many countries, adopting a national Shelter In Place policy due to the pandemic of COVID-19. This means that there is no studio audience on the episode.

## Quotes

* "How intimate we talking, girlfriend?" "Oh. Sex. The dick stuff." "Alex, does Philge go into a rage of sorts now?" "Yeah, a jealous one. How do jealous inside rages work?" "Usually you bottle them up for a long time and then you have too many beers at a party and say something you regret.."