Food Battle 2014

*"Mmm, Oh yeah. That's good! That's a very good Kardashian butt! SHUT UP!"*
-Shut Up! Opening
**Food Battle 2014** is a Smosh video uploaded on November 21, 2014 and is the ninth installment of the annual Food Battle series.

## Synopsis

Locked in Food Battle for nine years, the war between Ian and Anthony rages on. Whose favorite food will prove victorious? Will Ian's pink frosted sprinkled donut defeat the food YOU voted for?!

## Plot

### Introduction

Ian speaks to a camera noting that Food Battle this year is cancelled. After many years, he has decided not do it again since he's more mature. Anthony however doesn't buy that since he came back from the dead. Ian claims that he's more mature, but is seen reading from a poop book. Anthony declares that they're doing Food Battle right now. Ian reluctantly agrees to do it, and after Anthony tosses him his Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut, he half asses the intro (including the Word Art). Anthony, unimpressed, shows him how it's done with his new food, Rock Candy. **Food Battle 2014 begins**. After the title intro, Anthony's mouth hurts, said it's harder than it looks as Ian whispered "That's what she said."

### The Battle

#### Bike Seat

Ian sits on the donut, but starts screaming in pain when the metal pipe goes through the donut and into his anus. Result: **X**

Anthony sits down on the rock candy, causing it to go into his anus. He says it works. He then screams in pain and starts to hold his butt. Result: **✓**

#### Smoke Detector

Anthony tells his rock candy to detect some smoke. He then looks down and notices that his legs are burning. He screams in pain. Result: **X**

Ian walks into Snoop Dogg's house which releases marijuana smoke. After saying that it smells like a skunk's butthole, the sound of a smoke detector going off is heard. Result: **✓**

#### Tampon

As Anthony searches for the next challenge, Ian has a hot girl called Fantasia sitting on his lap. Once Anthony realizes what he's pointed to, he decides to skip to another one.

#### Hacking Device

Anthony tries to hack some bushes with his rock candy and spits all over the place. Result: **X**

Ian tells his doughnut to do some "real hacking". Using a computer, they hack into a site and recieve naked pictures of Anthony. He is then seen pouring bleach on his face in a bathroom. Result: **✓**

#### Anal Suppository

When Ian sees what Anthony has pointed to, he asks if they can skip it, but Anthony points out that they already have skipped the tampon challenge and they can't skip another one. Ian and Anthony are standing in the bathtub, where Ian suggests that they do it to each other. Anthony then gets into position as Ian proceeds to shove the rock candy up Anthony's anus. However, the footage was lost at that moment, leaving the winner of this challenge unknown. The two are traumatized on what they had just done and agreed never to speak of it again before moving on to the next challenge.

#### iPhone

Ian uses the pink. donut's "Siri" to call his mother to tell him that he is using the "Big boy potty". The camera pulls out to show him that he is sitting on the toilet. When it doesn't work, he gets angry and loses the round. Result: **X**

Anthony uses his rock candy to play Food Battle: The Game while sitting on a toilet. After the checkmark Anthony farted. No one knows. Result: **✓**

#### Braille

Anthony believes that the braille writing is telling him that Ian replaced his food with a cactus. He opens his eyes to see his fingers touching a cactus and bleeding. He says to Ian, "Goddamit Ian! You know I have sensitive fingers!" Result: **✓**

Ian thinks his food is telling him the meaning of life is to not caught up in pointless battles involving food and to never ever cheat. It also tells him to move to the right, which he does. It turns out that Anthony had attached the cactus to a rope and is swinging it towards Ian's head. As Ian is telling Anthony to never out-cheat a cheater, the cactus returns and hits him in the back of the head. Result: **✓**

### Ending

Anthony is about to announce the next challenge when he notices that his fingers are touching something purple and wet on the catalog. He realizes that he's touching poison. He comes up with a story of how Ian did it: When he was a small child, he planted a Brazilian, poisonous devil's breath tree. 13 years later, he hired a private logging company to turn that tree into a very thin, flexible paper (the very kind used in an average American catalog). He timed it perfectly so that nine Food Battles later, the poison within the pages would seep out and turn an ordinary catalog into a deadly piece of parchment. Ian reveals that he just dipped the catalog into a huge bucket of poison, which pulls out and places on the table. Anthony yells out, "Bob Barker's bruised ballsack!" and dies. Ian then laughed evily and yells "BITCH!" The announcer runs in to tell Ian that he'd just won Food Battle 2014, but he accidentally knocks Ians head into the bucket of poison and kills him. He then crowns himself as the winner of Food Battle 2014 and asks himself what he's going to do now. He tells himself that he's going to take a bubble bath and asks him if he can come, to which he replies, "F\*\*k yeah!" The announcer and a clone of himself are then seen playing around in a bubble bath strangly.

## Characters

### Main

* Ian Hecox (as young played by JJ Moore)
* Anthony Padilla

### Minor

* Brian Rassmussen as Food Battle Reporter
* Fantasia
* Cheryl Hecox (mentioned)
* Lumberjack

## Staff

* Coordinating Producer: Taryn McDonough
* DP: John Jimenez
* Camera Op: Jon Joiner
* AC: Jon Hooker
* Sound: Ivan Harder
* Grips: Patrick Egan & Lee Eisenhower
* Production Designer: Odin Abbott
* Casting - Brian Jagger
* Makeup: Paula Barkley
* PA: Ryan Sweeney
* DIT/Media Mgmt: Gabe Laguer
* BTS: Phil Mohr
* Color: Pretty Moving Pictures
* Asst Editor: Katie Reed

## Voting Results

1. Rock Candy (Victor; Won Round 3 against Dragonfruit)
2. Dragonfruit (Lost Round 3 to Rock Candy)
3. Pineapple (Lost Round 2 to Rock Candy)
4. Jawbreaker (Lost Round 1 to Dragonfruit)
5. Bear Claw (Lost First Votes to Rock Candy)
6. Stick of Gum (Lost First Votes to Dragonfruit)
7. Vegan Cheesecake (Lost First Votes to Pineapple)
8. Soy BBQ Rib (Lost First Votes to Jawbreaker)

## Trivia

* This is the first food battle that someone gets a check mark in the first round.
* Even if neither of them had died, Smosh still would've tied for Food Battle 2014 with a score of 3-3.
	+ At least, that's how it would be if Food Battle wasn't to the death.
* This is the fifth Food Battle where Ian attempts to murder Anthony, the others being 2009, 2010, 2011, and 2012.
* This is the first time someone other than Ian does the introduction (while devouring their food and revealing the logo).
	+ After Anthony says the rock candy looks harder than it does, Ian whispers "That's what she said" before it cuts to the next scene.
* This is the third Food Battle where it is unclear who truly won, with the others being 2011 & 2012.
	+ Theoretically, it should've been Ian because he was the last person alive before the announcer accidentally killed him. Plus, he was able to say that Ian had won Food Battle just before Ian got killed.
* Every year, Ian and Anthony never could win the first challenge. This year breaks that streak since Anthony won the first challenge.
* Soy BBQ Rib and Vegan Cheesecake, two of the foods up for voting, were chosen as opposed to regular Pork Ribs and regular Cheesecake because Anthony is now vegan and no longer eats meat.
* This is the first Food Battle to take place at the current Smosh house, while all the others before this took place at Ian's parents' house. Ian tried, but failed, using this as an excuse for not doing the Food Battle.
* Coincidentally, the video was released on the same day *Super Smash Bros.* for Wii U and Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire was released in the US.
* This is the first Food Battle in which both Ian and Anthony die at the end.
	+ This is also the first Food Battle in which the Food Battle reporter talks to himself.
* This is currently the Food Battle with the least number of challenges in which the results are known (only five of them).
* Ian also tried getting out of it by saying he didn't have a pink frosted sprinkled donut, but Anthony was able to supply him one.
* This is the first time since 2006 (the boyfriend challenge) that footage of a challenge was skipped. The last time, too, would have been awkward to see, as using Anthony's taquito as a partner may have involved treating it like another anal suppository.
* Ian mentions in the BTS that they nearly forgot to include the annual Food Battle hot babe. With that being said, this is the first Food Battle to have a BTS.

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