Romance and Marriage in Ti'var

## Overview

Ti’varnan courting is in many ways - true to the ideals of the rest of the culture - a somewhat matter of fact procedure. In some few tribes and many wandering groups, open relationships are a casual and even common affair due to the somewhat sparse nature of their population.

While the above is true, it is certainly the exception to the rule in most settled Ti’varnan communities, where priests remember the old religious ceremonies for bringing a couple together and in many ways the old ways are strongest. It is in these settlements where committed relationships and love can best blossom in the fallen nation.

## Courtship

Regardless of where one comes from, there is one immutable custom that is adhered to for declaration of interest - the presentation of a carving (of specific form, with the name of the admirer) to the intended recipient alongside the return of a borrowed item such as a blanket or a hatchet. The carving itself can often be found on offcuts of wood or stone unsuitable for other practical use (unless in a very wealthy tribe, where it can be carved onto an item of use that can bear to be wasted). With few exceptions (A tribe or community may decide on a different shape at their discretion) the carving is made in the shape of a lotus flower - the amount of detail at the personal discretion of the courting individual. Generally speaking, a high degree of care and detail displaying a greater desire for commitment while a quick and messy carving equates to a desire for a less formal or even very temporary relationship.

It is entirely plausible that a skilled individual may make a living of crafting intricate or beautifully carved lotuses, trading them for desired items in typical Ti’varnan fashion with those that desire them who will add their name to it. These individuals often get away with asking for items of greater value, since to an artistically-impaired individual that desires a greater commitment with a partner such carvings can be invaluable, and through paying such a price they display their effort and drive by obtaining such items to trade.

On receiving a carving, a person decides what their response may be. To reject an advance, the person returns the carving to their courter - often in silence, though reasons can be stated. Otherwise the general consensus for acceptance is that the person receiving the carving speak to their admirer and establish the bounds of the intended relationship. If the outcome is unsatisfactory, they may still return the carving. Otherwise the carving is kept. If a person wishes to terminate the relationship, then they return the carving or take it back - even destroying it in the most dire of situations.

In a more serious relationship there may be a desire for a permanent commitment, whether by the ceremonies of their chosen god or a less formal but no less binding ceremony. In this instance, the original recipient of the carving will carve a lotus of their own to give to their partner - generally opting for much the same method as they received their own carving - by presenting it alongside the return of a borrowed item or otherwise. In this instance, acceptance or denial of the carving is much the same - return of the carving if permanent commitment is undesirable, or discussing the desired outcome and acceptance.

## Wedlock

Marriage in Ti’var will occur once a couple have exchanged lotus carvings. The couple to be wed will move into the same home (If they have not already done so), and will display their respective carving openly on their clothing until they are married. In tribes that consist of followers of the Shattered One and those that walk the Path of the Lady, there is a week’s period until they are married in a ceremony that stems from ancient practices of the Path. For those tribes of the Followers that are in open war with or hold enmity for the Path and for those tribes that follow the Stranger, these ceremonies are neglected entirely.

In tribes that neglect the ceremony of the Path, marriage is simple and quick. The couple will not wait for the week, and place each of their carvings into a flame, immolating them. This is most often done publicly on the moment or not long since the second carving is exchanged. This is the extent of their wedding ceremony and from that point on, they are meant solely for each other.

The marriage ceremony of the Path is a special affair to a tribe, and something of a community event. On declaration of intent to enter a permanent pairing, the couple will tie themselves together at the wrists - left hand to right. During the week to come, the two will - working together, assist with various tasks throughout the tribe, ending with assisting the tribe priest with preparations on the last day.

On the first day of the next week, the couple untie from each other and the marriage ceremony begins. The preparations of the day before are revealed to the tribe in the form of woven grass cages containing the carvings of the two individuals. The couple will rise with the sun and the priest of the tribe will lead them in prayer to their patron god. Specifically, the prayer requests that the god watch over the couple and keep a thought for them in times of need - that they experience great joy and bounty together and ever have the strength to care for and protect each other in the face of all the world has to send their way. On conclusion of the prayer, all present share a meal - oftentimes including meats and other foods obtained by the couple over the course of the previous week, and then the grass cages containing the carvings are burned.

From this point the couple are wed, both in the eyes of the tribe and the eye of their patron god.

There are many variants of these ceremonies to be found in Ti’var however, and it is entirely plausible that a tribe of the Cult may indeed follow a ceremony, and that the patrons of the minor gods hold their own ceremony.