From Father Ethan's Journal

**Day 27**

Delicious.

Very delicious.

The insect is crunchy, yet satisfying.

I have been on the run for seven days now, I’m in possession of something that could change the very course of the Omniverse itself.

I don’t know why I stole it.

Just the week prior I was going about my daily duties, preaching, helping people with their woes, spouting hymns for the followers to sing along too.

But it called out to me…

Called.

It was our most sacred and holy text, The Holy Ryble, from which our entire religion is derived from.

I had heard the stories, stories of how parishioners mysteriously disappeared after reading it’s pages. Stories of followers being possessed by an unseen force.

Still, I trudged on.

I entered the room, gently covering each camera so as not to incriminate myself. As I paced up towards the altar I felt something rush by me, though I could not see it, I am sure it held malicious intentions.

I shattered the glass case surrounding the book.

And I ran.

I ran so far away...

**Day 29**

I can’t think straight…

After escaping the room, I locked myself within one of our glorious restrooms. How Glorious! And opened the pages.

I couldn’t comprehend a single word written on the pages.

I continued to sneak my way out. Very Sneaky! And managed to escape the church. I could hear sirens approaching so I began to run again.

Once in my apartment I attempted to read the pages once more, I felt a twinge of pain within my skull before I managed to recognize one word, Ryan…

**Day 34**

As the days went by, I began to o o re e cognize mor e words within the pages.

I wa s slowly beginning te comprehend the ho ly text. Praise Our Lord!

As I continued reading, the secrets of life itslef were reveald to me, but the pin continued to assault my brain.

I fashioned a protective suit for myself to stave off the pain that wracked my cranium, and so continued to read.

**Day 35**

I’ve finished the book.

God my head hurts.

Everything hurts.

**Day 38**

My entire body is feels as though it is under attack.

I cannot move.

Everytime I breath it hurts.

Praise The Lord!

Praise Our Lord!

Praise Ryan Reynolds!

**Day 40**

In the beginning, Ryan created the Heavens and the Earth. And it was glorious.

**Day 47**

The book is talking again.

It was faint at first.

But now it screams.

It screams my name.

**Day 50**

RyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRYanryanRyanRyaNryanryanryanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyANRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyanRyan

Ryan be praised!

**Day 56**

My grip on sanity is slipping.

Ryan Be Praised!

I fear I may never recover form this

Ryan Be Praised!

My head hurts so bad.

Ryan Be Praised!

My hand appears to be movig ov its own accord.

Ryan Be Praised!

Ryan Be Praised!

Ryan Be Praised!

Ryan Be Praised!

Ryan Be Praised!

Ryan Be Praised!

**Day 60**

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Ryan Be Praised!