Alex

"*Sorry, can't do anything tonight, too busy exploiting homeless people who would starve to death without me."*

## Summary

Alex was a completely normal human with a relatively normal life. To balance out this normalcy, his alternate timeline self was completely batshit crazy. This page is for his alternate timeline self.

## Family Life

Alex was born to his parents who were hardened criminals and completely disregarded the law. This rubbed off on Alex and causes him to always drive at maximum speed while driving, allowing him to cross great distances extremely quickly, aiding in his reign of chaos.

His brother had a job working for an insurance company, sabotaging cars that had insurance with other companies.

His sister was deaf and because she couldn't hear hazards, she died of electrocution at age 18. She had an expensive funeral service at a church, but literally nobody showed up. Even the funeral director slept in.

## Work Life

Alex attempted to work for a music label creating song and album names, but he wasn't accepted into any position, as despite his extreme musical talent he blatantly refused to spell words correctly, and had very poor control of the English language.

He then started a career making music, where he would volunteer at a food bank but only give out food if they agreed to buy his music.

Most of his money went to dealing with several lawsuits against him from tech companies for slandering them in his songs, until eventually the judges determined him to be too much of a strain on the legal system and ordered a one time payout to the tech companies in return for cutting down the number of smaller value lawsuits against him. Due to his anti-social behavior, he represented himself in court each and every time, and lost several easily defensible cases.

## Relationships

Alex attempted a relationship with one girl, but after walking to her house naked on the second date, she got a restraining order and he gave up.

Alex had a cat named Fluffy who he stole from a woman who lived in his apartment building.

Other than those two, he was extremely antisocial, only interacting with his professional gaming team which they developed after playing together for half an hour.

His antisocial behavior came to a head when the food bank tried to have him come in for an actual job interview, and he faked his own death to avoid the interview, pretending Fluffy had murdered him. He then had to break into the city animal control office to retrieve Fluffy.

## Health

Alex had extremely poor eyesight from enjoying looking at the sun too much while he waited for the bus, destroying his eyes.

He also just about died because he tried to save money by only buying expired fruit from the grocery store. After that didn't work, he tried eating a box of condoms he accidentally bought due to his poor eyesight, which almost killed him again.

After his near death experiences, Alex denounced all food from grocery stores and decided to eat $15 worth of ice cream from a local ice cream shop every single night for dinner.

Despite his unhealthy habits, he had legs that were "fucking ripped" and "very attractive", which were his only physical feature that was even remotely non completely repulsive.

## Hobbies

Alex enjoyed playing video games on what he was told was a Playstation 5, which was really a Playstation 4 with some paint on it that he bought for 5x market value. He later bought a Ybox, which was just a barely functioning Xbox One, for $5000. He also tried to play games on his laptop, but he foolishly installed so much malware he could barely run anything.

He also enjoyed watching foreign Netflicks shows (At least that's how he spelled it), because he thought it would teach him other languages. All that happened was he got even worse at speaking English. When he did watch shows in English, he only watched kids shows because he was too stupid to understand the adult shows.