Samus vs. Mega Man

**Samus vs. Mega Man** is the pilot episode of Battle Royale, pitting Samus Aran of the *Metroid* series against Mega Man of his eponymous series. In a fight between gaming's two major sci-fi heroes.

## Description

*It's a battle between gaming's two major sci-fi stars: Samus Aran, the fearless bounty hunter, and Mega Man, the iconic blue bomber! Who's going to win a Battle Royale? Only one way to find out!*

## Prelude

(Cue: Title Sequence (Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS & Wii U))

**Rick:** "As we look to the future, we can see infinite possibilities. Endless advancements in technology, work done at the push of a button, and epic sci-fi adventures with sweet futuristic weapons! Such is the case with our first round of fighters!"

**Manny:** "I’m Manny, and I’ll be researching Samus Aran, the fearless bounty hunter of Metroid."

**Chelsea:** "I’m Chelsea, and I’ll be researching Mega Man, the blue bomber from two thousand and X."

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "I am the Fight Analysis and Conclusion Tolerance Software, or FACTS for short, and I will be determining the victor with their research taken into account."

**Rick:** And I’m Rick Rocker, and this, ladies and gentlemen, is Battle Royale!"

## Samus

**Manny:** "At the young age of three, Samus Aran saw her entire village burned to ashes before her very eyes."

**Rick:** "It wasn’t exactly the happiest of childhoods was it?"

**Manny:** "Having her entire childhood ruined by the nefarious Space Pirates, Samus was adopted by the Chozos, a race of bird-like aliens. The Chozo treated Samus as their own, and even injected her with some of their DNA. gross."

**Chelsea:** "So you’re telling me you’ve had a crush on a half bird person since we were eight? No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend."

**Manny:** "Shut up. Anyways, Samus trained under the intense gravity of the Chozos’ homeworld, making her a thousand times tougher and faster than any mortal man. This also explains her...very..toned-" \*mumbling gibberish\*

**Rick:** "Uh, Manny?"

**Manny:** \*snaps out of it\* "Gah! As I was saying, Samus is far tougher than the average human. She once tossed around Vorash, a giant lava fish thing about the size of an orca whale coated in hardened magma. Keep in mind that she dragged this heavy thing through super thick lava."

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "The average orca whale weighs about 8,000 pounds. Lava is two or three times as dense as water. Considering that Samus easily dragged Vorash through lava, and the fact that Vorash was covered in hardened magma, Samus was casually dragging over 10,000 pounds."

**Rick:** "Just imagine when she starts trying. I guess she had bigger fish to fry, huh, kid?"

**Manny:** \*sigh\* "Nice one, Rick. She’s also fast enough to catch point blank gunfire, and outrun Ridley, who was able to out-fly Samus’ space ship."

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "According to my calculations, Samus’ space ship was moving at speeds faster than the speed of light. Approximately seventy two times light speed, due to how fast the ship can fly through space."

**Chelsea:** "Holy shit. Impressive. That’s even faster than Manny looking at her Zero Suit."

**Manny:** "Hey!"

**Rick:** "Break it up you two, we have a show to do."

**Chelsea:** \*snickers\*

**Manny:** "Fine, whatever. Samus wouldn’t be the awesome bounty hunter she is today without her trusty weapons, and boy does she have a lot! Let’s talk suits. There’s a lot to cover here, ladies and gentlemen, so strap in. The standard Power Suit was designed by the Chozo to take advantage of her genetic enhancements. It comes with an arm cannon that packs a giant punch. It can shoot all sorts of neat things like ice beams with temperatures of absolute zero, the point where kinetic energy slows to a snail's pace, grapple beams that can latch onto just about anything, and even... missiles."

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "She also possesses the Nova Beam, a laser which can pierce armor and hit vital organs, essentially bypassing durability."

**Chelsea:** "Mega Man doesn’t even HAVE organs! Looks like our winner’s been decided."

**Manny:** "Shut up. I’m not even finished yet! Samus has a variety of different suits as well. The Varia Suit protects Samus from extreme temperatures, parasites, and acid. The Gravity Suit negates abnormal gravity effects. She can literally just hang out in lava and move around freely with no hassle at all. IN LAVA..." \*long pause\* "Then there’s the Dark Suit, which protects her from toxic substances. Not as useful, but still better than what Mega Man has-"

**Chelsea:** "Think it protects her from blatant fanboy-ism?"

**Manny:** "Want me to tell them the story about how in seventh gra-"

**Chelsea:** "DON’T YOU DARE!"

**Manny:** "Then don’t interrupt me, sis."

**Rick:** "Jeez, I have to put up with you two for a whole season? Starting a headache."

**Manny:** "And last but certainly not least, there’s the Zero Suit, which she uses when her normal suit is out of power. Though she loses her abnormal durability from the Power Suits, Samus becomes much faster and more agile as she still able to do things like smack a bitch with her Plasma Whip and use her various Ice Beams and Paralyzers. Plus Zero Suit Samus also..." \*unintelligible mumbling\*

**Rick:** "Not again…"

**Chelsea:** "This is making me a little uncomfortable… can we stop?"

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "I agree with Chelsea, and I’m a computer program, that’s how bad this is."

**Manny:** \*snaps out of it\* "...How long was I out?"

**Rick:** "Long enough. Quit drooling and talk about Samus more so we can get this over with."

**Manny:** "Right. And remember what I said about her having missiles? I hope you do because she has a lot of them! She can also fire several missiles to create huge explosions! She can even combine her missiles with her charge beams to create devastating combos called Charge Combos. Charge Shot, eat your heart out."

**Chelsea:** "Meh, not impressed."

**F.A.C.T.S:** "She can also roll up into the Morph Ball, that allows to fit into small crevices and hard-to-reach areas. From where she can drop bombs that-"

**Rick:** \*in a booming echoey voice\* "THAT DESTROYS EVERYTHING!"

**Manny:** "Uh…"

**Rick:** "Sorry, just wanted to say that."

**Manny:** "To be fair, you aren’t wrong. Samus’ Power Bombs can wipe out everything in the vicinity, and have a delay of a few seconds."

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "Samus is able to damage Dark Samus, who withstood a massive pocket dimension collapsing and a massive planet exploding."

**Manny:** "Hah! Beat that sis!"

**Chelsea:** "Whatever, Mega Man does stuff like that all the time!"

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "In the Samus and Joey manga, she was even able to freeze the sun itself using her Ice Beam."

**Manny:** "Hah!"

**Chelsea:** "No comment…"

**Manny:** "She’s killed Ridley more times than I can count, and her suit can survive the core of a star. But when she needs to finish off her opponents quickly, she unleashes the Zero Laser! A devastating attack that uses up so much power that it causes her suit to fall off. But that doesn’t matter because it practically OBLITERATES her opponents!"

**Chelsea:** \*cough\* "Final Smash logic is not viable." \*cough\*

**Manny:** "Going to pretend I didn’t hear that. As much as I love the gal, I do admit she’s not perfect."

**Chelsea:** "She sure isn’t! Her Power Suit gets all wonky if she’s too emotionally unstable, and has a hard time concentrating on top of that! Not to mention she waited until she had permission to put on fire resistant shielding after diving into a volcano!"

**Manny:** "Did you actually Google her weaknesses while I was talking?"

**Chelsea:** "You can’t prove that. You’re the one always Googlin-"

**Manny:** "WELL THEN! Jokes on you, because Samus is still one of the toughest gals Nintendo has ever put out!"

*Samus: "Mother... Time to go!"*

## Mega Man

**Chelsea:** "The year is 200X, a line of robots created by college friends Albert Wily and Thomas Light were made to take on the jobs too dangerous for humans such as: construction, fighting fires with... fire, and blowing stuff up?"

**Rick:** "Wow, the future sounds awesome!"

**Chelsea:** "Um, well anyway Dr. Light created two robots to serve as his own children named Rock and Roll."

**Manny:** "Wow, cleverness like that is why Capcom is still making games, I guess."

**Chelsea:** "And because they turned out good games like Street Fighter V and-"

**Manny:** "And Resident Evil Revelations, remember-"

**Chelsea:** "Anyways, Light was the one getting all the fame for the robot masters however, which made Wily more jealous. So he decided to do what any obviously evil scientist would do and reprogrammed the robot masters to help him take over the world, all except for Rock and Roll, the former of which volunteered to actually stand up to Wily and stop his evil scheme."

**Rick:** "But how would he do that? I mean, he was designed to be a kid, not defeat crazy robots, right?"

**Chelsea:** "That's why the upgrade turned him into the super fighting robot: Mega Man."

**F.A.C.T.S:** "You know, I once wrote a fanfiction, in which I was a super fighting robot as well."

**Manny:** "Nobody cares F.A.C.T.S."

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "Oh... OK."

**Chelsea:** "With the new suit of armor composed of Ceratanium: an alloy stronger and lighter than titanium, Mega Man is built to be the ultimate combat robot. Part of this is liked to his Variable Weapon System, which has allowed him to copy the weapons of robot masters and fighting to save the world, and also copy techniques from Street Fighter characters."

**Rick:** "OK, that's 10 games and 8 new robot masters minus 2 thanks to the original 6." \*continues mumbling\* "I just remembered that I said the math."

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "He has at least 80 unique weapons."

**Rick:** "God damn, thanks F.A.C.T.S."

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "No problem, Sugar Daddy."

**Manny:** "Sugar Daddy?"

**Rick:** "Uh, y-you were saying?"

**Manny:** "Uh, not that that's going to help, considering they're pretty much just toys compared to Samus' arsenal."

**Chelsea:** "Oh really now? Well, his default weapon is the Mega Buster, which at first may look like a standard pea-shooter, but can be charged for greater damage and the shop of weapons he's collected over the years only add to his versatility, such as: the Leaf Shield-"

**Manny:** "Yeah, I'm sure 'leaves' will protect him from all the damage."

**Chelsea:** "Well for your information, it does. He's also got the Metal Blade which can reduce anything to shreds, the Crash Bomb which sticks to its target like glue, the Atomic Fire which can reach temperatures hotter than the sun, oh, and he's also got actual black holes as weapons!"

**Manny:** "Obviously fake black holes."

**Chelsea:** "There's no such thing as a fake black hole, Manny."

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "Actually, a black hole is a gravitational force that pulls in everything around it, including light. Meanwhile, the black holes Mega Man uses for his Black Hole Bomb are more along the lines of a supercharged vacuum cleaner."

**Manny:** "Mmmhmm."

**Chelsea:** "Nobody asked you, you bunch of ones and zeroes!"

**Rick:** "Ladies, please, you're both beautiful."

**Chelsea:** "What!?"

**Rick:** "Are you two done fighting, because I'd rather start this show off differently than Jersey Shore."

**Chelsea:** "Yeah, right, so anyway, he's also got the Magnet Missiles which are, well, magnets that act like missiles, the Top Spin which is just absolutely useless, the Hard Coil, the Time Stopper which stops time as long as he has ammo, the Super Arm, Junk Shield, Mega Ball, Ice Slasher, Thunder Be-"

**Rick:** "And plenty more weapons I'm sure we'd love to delve into, but I'd rather our first episode not be an hour long!"

**Chelsea:** \*sigh\* "You're no fun..."

**Rick:** "So, what does he have in terms of feats Chels?"

**Chelsea:** "Well, he's supported the weight of Wily's Castle as it collapsed down upon him, managed to overpower Sunstar: who's strong enough to shake an entire planet made of metal, and is fast enough to react to a laser from Gemini Man, aimed directly at the back of his head!"

**Manny:** "So?"

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "The Wily Castle feat is estimated to be in supporting around 900,000 (nine-hundred thousand) metric tons of weight."

**Manny:** "And?"

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "Other notable feats include being able to support his own weight on Jupiter, acting no differently than he would on Earth, outracing Quick Man, who can move faster than light, and defeating an upgraded version of himself from the future twice."

**Rick:** "Wait, he fought against Mega Man X!?"

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "No."

**Rick:** "Oh."

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "They have interacted though."

**Chelsea:** "But in all in all the original blue bomber is clearly a worthy contender for the title super fighting robot!"

**Manny:** "But aren't you forgetting something sis? Like how about the fact that all of his weapons have limited ammunition that deplete rather quickly."

**Chelsea:** "Except for his Mega Buster, and also the same applies to your waifu."

**Manny:** "Yeah, but it doesn't matter for her because she outclasses Mega Man everywhere."

**Chelsea:** "Oh yeah? Did you even listen to all those feats I mentioned?"

**Manny:** "Pfft, that's enough to beat Samus?"

**Rick:** "Well there's only one way to find out, F.A.C.T.S., you've got everything?"

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "Yes, and I have already concluded the most likely out of thousands of possible scenarios."

**Rick:** "Then you know what that means, it's showtime!"

*D1: "MEGA MAN! MEGA MAN! THE SUPER FIGHTING ROBOT!"*

*Mega Man shoots the Black Hole Bomb and it hits Rosalina. Rosalina gets trapped as Mega Man X, MegaMan Volnutt, MegaMan.EXE, and Star Force Mega Man come to Mega Man's side and they all charge up an attack together.*

*D1: "SUPER FIGHTING ROBOT!... MEGA MAN!!!!!"*

*The Mega Men all fire their beams and hit Rosalina, launching her off screen for a K.O.!*

*D1: "FIGHTING TO SAVE THE WORLD!!!"*

## The Battle

Samus is shown running through an abandoned city, when Mega Man teleports in front of her and draws his Mega Buster. Samus does the same.

*Samus: "Try me."*

The two stare at each other, before Mega Man starts firing buster shots. Samus retaliates with a few Super Missiles, and the shots explode on contact with each other. Samus activates her speed boosters, while Mega Man continues to fire shots. Samus fires some more Super Missiles and dodges the buster shots, goes into Morph Ball mode, and plants a bomb behind Mega Man. The Blue Bomber doesn't notice, and the bomb explodes, sending him towards Samus. She then proceeds to fire a charge shot straight up at him, sending him into the air. She then fires a missile at Mega Man, who dodges the missile as it continues to home in on him. He lands, and the missile hits him, sending him towards Samus again, who proceeds to grab him with her Grapple Beam, and performs a series of blows and combos before drilling him through the ground, sending Mega Man to a lower floor. Lying on the ground, Mega Man quickly switches to the Crash Bomber when he notices Samus leaping down at him, and moves out of the way before she can hit him.

Unfortunately for Samus, she doesn't notice the Crash Bomber stuck to her, sending her away, when Mega Man attacks with a slide kick, followed by a Top Spin, and then a Slash Claw. Samus gets up from the attack and fires another missile, while Mega Man fires a Magnet Missile. The two heat-seeking projectiles rotate around each other before exploding. Samus goes into Morph Ball mode again, and moves out of the way so that Mega Man can't see her. He looks around for a few moments, before the bounty hunter appears in front of him and fires her Ice Beam, freezing Mega Man to the ground. The Blue Bomber notices that Samus has planted a Power Bomb behind him, and is preparing another charge shot. Samus fires the charge shot at Mega Man, who uses his Black Hole Bomb to suck up both the Power Bomb and the charge shot. He then switches to the Atomic Fire, melting the ice around him. Tired of fighting, Samus charges at Mega Man, who grabs her arm cannon, and downloads her Power Suit's data, before using the Leaf Shield to get Samus off of him.

Samus gets up from the attack, and prepares her Zero Laser. She fires it straight at Mega Man, but Mega Man quickly switches weapons before getting hit. When the Zero Laser is done, there is nothing left where Mega Man was standing, and Samus' suit has fallen off, reducing her to Zero Suit Samus. Looking around for Mega Man, Samus is too late to notice that Mega Man has Samus' powers equipped, and plants a bomb behind her in Morph Ball mode. Zero Suit Samus tries to kick him, but the Blue Bomber dodges out of the way, and the bomb explodes, sending Samus away again. When Samus gets up from the attack this time, however, Mega Man throws a Metal Blade at her, and she is too late to react as the blade hits her, slicing straight through her stomach.

Samus' lifeless body lies on the ground, as Mega Man celebrates and teleports away.

## Results

**Manny:** "No..."

**Chelsea:** "Yeah! Super fighting robot, Mega Man for the win!"

**Manny: "**Baby, come back to me!"

**Rick:** \*ahem\* "F.A.C.T.S., if you please."

**F.A.C.T.S.: "**Here you go, Sugar Daddy."

**Rick:** "Thank you very much, and please stop calling me that. Anyway, while Samus' Power Suit was a lot more durable, and had much more destructive power, there was only so much these two factors could do against an opponent as versatile as Mega Man. Even though the limited ammunition could prove problematic, it was still more unpredictable, and enough to keep Samus on her toes and counter a good chunk of her arsenal."

**Manny:** "But... but that shouldn't matter! Samus is clearly faster and stronger, right?"

**Rick:** "Not according to this. Mega Man holding up Wily's Castle trumps any feat of strength Samus had in spades."

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "Samus' greatest strength feat was dragging the Vorash through lava, which is estimated to be her supporting 10,000 pounds. Mega Man's greatest, however, clocks in at 9,000 metric tons, when he supported the weight of Wily's castle. But in terms of speed, Samus caught a bullet immediately after it was fired out of a gun, approximately Mach 32 speed. Mega Man has kept up with Quick Man, who can move at faster-than-light speeds. He dodged a laser from Gemini Man aimed directly at the back of his head."

**Manny:** "Hang on, you said Samus froze *the sun*!?"

**F.A.C.T.S:** "I did. But she did so because of a machine that amplified the power of her suit that she does not normally have access to."

**Manny:** "Well, then why did you even bring it up?"

**F.A.C.T.S.:** "Because it's still a cool feat."

**Chelsea:** "Ha!"

**Manny:** "But... aw. Sammy!"

**Chelsea:** "Aw, I'm sorry, bro! Sorry that your waifu sucks!"

**Manny:** "You take that back!"

**Rick:** "Well, I guess that Samus' world *just got rocked*! Uh, yeah, I-I'll work on the jokes. Anyway, the winner of this Battle Royale is **Mega Man**!"

*Mega Man defeats Guts Man. He cheers and strikes a pose after Guts Man explodes.*

*Mega Man: "All right!"*

## Trivia

* The connection between Mega Man and Samus is that they are 2D platform game shooters who are able to upgrade themselves by taking powers from defeated enemies.
* This is the first episode of Battle Royale to feature a character previously featured on Death Battle, as well as the first to pit those two characters against each other.
	+ Coincidentally, this is the first episode of the series, and it features Samus Aran, who was featured on the first episode of Death Battle.