Water Wars

## About

The Water Wars was a brutal conflict that engulfed the entirety of Sunlake. Friends betrayed friends, brothers shot brothers, and everyone's trust in each other quickly fell apart. This was typically an event reserved for seniors, as they would pool together money, form teams, and fight to the death for the pot. The rules are simple; if you get wet, you're dead. While this was supposed to be a senior only event, the Spooky Skeleton Crew decided that they needed practice to make sure they were victorious in their senior year. To get combat experience they organized two separate conflicts with the Valencia crew to hone their skills and set them up for success.

## Safe Zones

There are several officially sanctioned safe zones in the war, established by the Water Wars Council in order to promote sportsmanship and reduce collateral damage. Participants of war are deemed safe on school property or at other school-sanctioned events, on their way to work and while working, and within their own home. Once they leave work or step outside their house however, they become fair game. The rules change depending on the conflict, as during the first conflict houses were fair game if you could work your way inside.

## Minor Conflicts

One of the first documented military exercises documented was a tactical strike against Checker Gang. This operation was an assassination of Erich, who was hanging out at the library for a game night. This was during the initial formation of Checker Gang when Erich first left the Spooky Skeleton Crew, so tensions were high. The platoon had developed a water mortar that was capable of launching water balloons a significant distance. The weapon also shot a plume of water, which would eventually inspire the MK II (candy cane/trench gun) used in the following conflicts.

The platoon set up an ambush outside of the library, and when Checker Gang arrived at their truck Jacob pumped up the cannon to 60 psi with super-human speed, allowing the gang to be soaked with water and pelted with balloons. The platoon then retreated, leaving Erich soaked and bitter. This conflict highlighted some of the issues with the MK I, as it was limited as a mortar and couldn't hold a charge.

## The First War

The first Water War began in April, 2016. The combat consisted of a platoon of soldiers versus the slimey and sneaky Viet Cong. The platoon soldiers were made up of James, Jacob, Drew, and Jeremiah. The Viet Cong side of the conflict included Jared, Izzie, Ess, and Marley. The platoon had a significant technological advantage, as they had created an improved water weapon known as the MK II. This weapon had a modified pressure chamber that wrapped around the gun in a curve-shape, giving it the appearance of a candy cane. This weapon shot water as opposed to water balloons, and could soak a large group of people up close, or snipe at a distance.

The platoon decided to set up a stake out outside of Jared's house on the first day of the war, and while they waited for several hours they were unable to find him. Fearing that he had another ride to school and not wanting to be late they left, only for Jared to leave literally minutes after. He caught up to them on the road and opened fire, and a firefight occurred at the intersection outside the neighborhood. Jared attempted to escape, but Heather's sweet driving allowed the platoon to catch up. Ultimately he reached the safety of the school, and the chase ended.

That afternoon the platoon decided to skulk around Jersey Mike's, hoping to catch Ess while they were leaving their shift. The platoon found them working at the counter, and made a note to strike later. The platoon then circled back and headed to Sunlake, just in time to follow Marley home from practice. She made it into her garage, but the platoon began circling the neighborhood. The dirty Viet Cong weren't above using child labor for their nefarious purposes, and Marley sent out her younger brother and his friends with water guns and a hose to attack the platoon. After hurling insults at them, Jacob had the idea to circle around, drop off a strike team, and then pull back up to the front yard. The children, and potentially Marley, would take the bait and attack the car, while the strike team could carry out an assassination.

The strike team consisted of Drew, James, and Jacob (who was documenting the footage for the documentary). They walked through the yards of several houses and approached from behind, watching the children attack Jeremiah's van. James ran up and blasted the kids, who screamed in pain because of the sheer volume of water that had just hit them. The strike team successfully retreated without getting wet, however they were unable to secure a kill.

The following day they returned to Jersey Mike's, and this time parked right outside. Ess was aware the platoon was coming for them that night, however they did not recognize Jeremiah's car. They attempted to arm themselves with a water pistol, however while they attempted to run to their car the platoon ambushed them. A short chase occurred, but James was ultimately able to land a kill shot on Ess, making them the first kill of the conflict.

The platoon then attempted to dig out a trench in the field, and from that position construct a cardboard fort. They eventually gave up about halfway through, abandoning the fort. The trench they began to dig out still remains to this day.

On April 20th, 2016, the platoon received intel that the Viet Cong were attempting to organize a smoke session to celebrate the holiday 4/20. They tracked Marley from the school to her house, and began patrolling the neighborhood. Jeremiah's skillful and speedy driving got the cops called on them twice, allowing the Viet Cong time to make their way to Ess's Mansion. The platoon quickly followed, but realized far too late it was a trap. Ess's dad blocked them in the driveway, threatening to put a potato in their exhaust and kill them via carbon monoxide poisoning.

Jared had taken up a position at the garden hose, while Marley and Izzie loaded up water balloons to throw from the second floor window. As Ess was already dead, they attempted to negotiate with the platoon to get a ceasefire. Eventually the platoon, consisting of Jeremiah, James, and Drew, used an umbrella as a shield to protect themselves from the hose. James was armed with the MK II, and Drew had a super soaker. Now outside and vulnerable, tensions got pretty high. This firefight lasted for over an hour, and then it got suddenly quiet.

The platoon realized that Jared was no longer manning the hose, and that the two upstairs had retreated from the window. Seeing an opportunity, they Republic Commando breached the garage, with Jeremiah turning the door handle and James kicking it down. As they stormed the house, all four of the Viet Cong were huddled in the hallway. James pulled the trigger, blasting all four with water and earning the only Quad Kill. The firing of the cannon caused a panic, as the corpses and Drew opened fire on each other, flooding the house. This raid marked the end of the first conflict.

> My house, my fucking house!
>
> Ess

## The Second War

Angry at their defeat, the Viet Cong challenged the platoon to a second war to better train themselves for the future conflict. The platoon agreed, thus starting the Second Water War.

The first operation was carried out on April 22nd, 2016. The platoon entered Valencia and set up basecamp at the playground, preparing for the assassination of Izzie. Eventually she came out with her siblings and were soaked with water, marking the first kill. As the platoon was packing up she rolled up in her car attempting to be mean, but Jacob sniped her with his super soaker and shot her in the mouth. Since this kill was so easy, the platoon agreed to revive her, only to kill her again later.

The platoon stalked the Jersey Mike's as well, but Ess was much smarter than last time, now leaving from the back of the building. In that same plaza Izzie was now working at the Little Caesar's, providing another target to stalk. The platoon decided that Izzie would be their next target (again), and parked outside the Little Caesar's. Kyle pulled up and they began chatting, but after a while Kyle shouted "It's an enemy stand!" The platoon noticed a mini van speeding towards them, rolling up their windows just in time for a water balloon to splash on the outside. A second later and they would have been dead. It was Marley and her brothers again, and a car chase began. Fire was exchanged in the parking lot, and eventually Marley got cornered in a parking lot. She eventually escaped and made it back to her house, and during this chase Ess and Izzie were able to escape.

The following night, the platoon camped out outside the Little Caesar's, this time parking far away and walking over. They were all armed with super soakers, and Jeremiah was the getaway driver. Jared decided to be Izzie's bodyguard, setting himself up in the lobby with his gun. Drew eventually got the idea to go for Jared instead, and he and James approached the Little Caesar's. James opened the door for him and Drew opened fire inside, soaking the Little Caesar's and killing Jared. The two then retreated to the car and Jeremiah sped away, getting the platoon another successful kill.

After another crushing blow, the Viet Cong realized they couldn't beat the platoon. They officially surrendered and vowed to never participate in a water-based combat again.

## Senior Water War

All of these military exercises helped prepare the platoon for real combat; the Senior Water Wars. While the platoon restructured itself for this conflict, the simulations could have never accurately prepared them for the horrors of war. The team put up a good fight, however they were unable to officially gain the dub. They weren't eliminated, however, showing their survivability.