Chapter 2: Those Left Behind V

—At least we have enough resources to take care of them... but we know it won't be enough, George. We have quite a few wounded in the shelter, a lot, not being careful with our resources could lead to...

—I know, Lilly. I know how much this situation worries us, but we must stand firm with Jason and Nikolai's decisions. What we will do now will be to help all these people, there is no other alternative.

George and Lilly seemed quite concerned about the number of injured civilians in the shelter and, how the materials could run out in a matter of time.

—What information do you have on the civilians? We had to literally rope them up —Michael was angry, he looked tired. —One of them hit me in the fucking face.

—I'm sure it was Cliff... he was too erratic, he was still in shock. At the moment the other three civilians are "stable", a bit scared, but we've managed the situation. We've already changed the tourniquet on one of them, apparently it was applied wrong... on purpose and was causing him a lot of pain —George was sighing, uneasy. He didn't know what would become of those poor people.

Then someone started talking, it was Bobby who got George's attention.

—Can you talk to the people who rescued us? —He asked. He was still too sore to do anything about it, like move.

—Bobby, is something wrong? Would you like us to help you with something else?

—Sure, "Lilly". I'd like help with something. But I need the two of them to be present.

Michael left the room and, tried to look for the leaders of the group. It turned out that Nikolai and Jason were in a room they designated as a "meeting room," talking about how to organize resources.

—Kalinic, Jason... a guy... this dude... Bobby, asks you two to see him in the infirmary. He's one of the men you pulled out of the butcher shop.

—Hmm? —Nikolai grimaced in confusion. He agreed to accompany Michael, while Jason went after him.

So it was that the group found Bobby, still in pain and lying on one of the beds he had already smeared with blood.

—What do you want, Bobby? Have our people treated your wounds well? How are you?

Jason seemed to show genuine concern for the gentleman, even though he had only known him for a few hours.

—I've been treated excellently, although that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. I'll say this straight, I plan to kill myself, but I can't find the courage to do it with my own hands. I want to die, and I have no reason to go on living, not after what happened there.

There was silence.

—How? —A single "how" was what escaped Jason's mouth, confused.

—I watched my son being raped to death, those fuckers even... did things to me while I watched those men touch him... They made me... SEEING MY OWN SON! His screams... the way he was... I couldn't protect my little boy, I let him down, I've failed him and... I don't deserve to live after everything that happened. Dennis was my only tie to this life.... And I don't want it anymore, I don't want to go on living knowing that my son is gone...and I can never recover from what happened in the butcher shop. I don't believe in God anymore, I don't believe in people anymore, all I want is "peace"... I want to die, I want to decide how to die.

Everyone seemed surprised by the calmness with which Bobby expressed his wish.

—But Bobby... you can't... no... —Jason was interrupted by Nikolai himself who covered his mouth with his finger, telling him "shh".

—Jason... you must understand that Bobby is the same case as that other girl. Bobby doesn't want to go on living, therefore he represents a threat to the whole shelter. We can't have this kind of people here, so if he wants to kill himself, we'd better be the ones to help him than for him to kill himself and come back as one of them... and eat our faces while we sleep. Do you understand?

—I'm glad to hear you're following my point. Jason, right? I asked you from the beginning to finish me off... but you decided to tie me to life, against my will, and I'll never forgive you for that. You are scum... you are a despicable being who only binds us to this life for mere pleasure, you are no different from butchers...

—Hey, you idiot! I won't let you talk to him like that. He took the initiative to go to the butcher's shop in the first place because he believed there would be people alive... thanks to him lives were saved today, including that of an ingrate like you. Just tell us how you want to die, honestly people who give up disgust me, and you don't know the disgust I feel right now for you Bobby. All of us have been through some serious shit, and even though we might throw in the towel, we don't give up... we keep hanging in there, and it's a PITY you can't keep up with us.

—YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS TO ME TO STILL BE ALIVE! I suffered things...I saw things... the only thing I look forward to with such desperation is death. I got tired of life, I got tired of this... these fucking dead people who walk among us, the butchers... they have all ruined my life. My son, my little boy... they did things to him after he was dead and put him in one of these machines...

—Then tell us how you want to die so you can stop nagging! —Nikolai started talking loudly. His voice echoed through the shelter, generating silence. —I won't risk the lives of the children here because a stupid asshole like you killed himself and came back as a fallen! I won't risk the lives we want to protect so much because a stupid fucking ape like you killed himself and killed us in the middle of the night!

Bobby was silent. Tears began to fall from his eyes, and he just sighed.

—I just want to rest.

—Bobby... there's still hope.. .we can still... we can still work and... you can....

Bobby ignored Jason as he wasn't interested in anything about the "future" at all.

—We can make him go away in peace —George exclaimed. —I used to take care of dying or terminal patients in the hospital... I was not only a paramedic, but also a good doctor. If you give me some time... I can prepare a lethal injection for Bobby and... save us the violence of shooting him while he's still alive.

Bobby's eyes lit up with joy. It was the best news he had heard in a long time.

—You must understand that you'll come back as a zombie, Bobby... we'll have to finish you off —George seemed quite serious about the situation. —Condemning someone to life is almost as cruel and inhumane as condemning someone to death. As a paramedic and doctor it is my duty to protect and respect any form of life... and it is also my duty to honor death. If Bobby wants to die, I will respect his decision. But you must understand, Bobby... this will be irreversible. You still have time to think about it and...

—NO! I don't want to go on living! I know I can never go on without my little boy... please, have mercy and finish me off. I want to go quietly, I want to rest and never wake up again because... I know that the future is full of those bugs... of blood... of suffering. Please, kill me.

—George, grant his wish. In the meantime...

Nikolai left the room and returned shortly after with ropes in his hands. Jason was terrified by Kalinic's cold and merciless expression.

—I will have to tie you up. When you come back you probably won't feel pain, and that will be a problem. We don't want you as a zombie attacking us... and don't worry, I won't think twice about shooting you.

George, prepare the dose.

—Right away...

—You know what, Bobby? I think you're making the best decision. At first I thought we could all get out of this... that we could all fight together to have a secure tomorrow, but I realized it was just a hallucination of mine...  We risked our necks for you, but if you wish to die, then I have no choice but to accept it. You are a danger to our group...

—Maybe if you had killed me we wouldn't be here —Bobby replied, angrily.

—Because I had hope... but not anymore. I will not allow another zombie in this shelter, I will not allow the lives of others to simply fade away because you... because you couldn't keep up with us. I'm sorry about your son, I don't know the kind of crazy shit you went through but I... I tried and I...

Jason pulled out his gun and pointed it at Bobby. The other members present froze as they could not believe what they were seeing.

—I want to die too, Bobby... but the only difference between you and me is that I do value the effort that others make for me, the effort that all these people make because they believe in the future, and I won't let you take that away from us. It's no use if he injects you with morphine... if you come back as one of them you'll probably break the ropes and attack one of us before we can shoot you. Bobby... Do you have a last wish?

Bobby passed saliva too hard, he didn't understand how the man who rescued him changed from one moment to another... and even more so with that expression that seemed to reveal nothing, to feel nothing.

—I...

Bobby began to breathe with difficulty. His body was sweating and he had a strange feeling in his chest.

—Please... don't...

—Don't what, Bobby? —Jason had taken the safety off his gun.

—Don't hesitate to do it. Do it... please, do it. Put an end to my pain... please.

Slater gave a big sigh. He nodded and, out of the corner of his eye, looked at Nikolai who bowed his head, as if it was some kind of confirmation.

—Goodbye, Bobby. I am so sorry we have come to this point... we tried to save you but we can't tie you to life if you are already dead...

A gunshot rang out in the corridors of the shelter. By the time a group of civilians arrived at the door of the infirmary, they saw Nikolai pointing at Bobby's body who had a hole in his head.

—Bring some blankets.

—What the fuck happened?  —Mia stood behind Harry, who was looking at Bobby's body in disgust.

—He was bitten long before we found him. I had to finish him off. There was no other choice.

—What the hell happened? Zoey's crying because she heard the shots! What the fuck, Nikolai? —Asha was angry.

Nikolai left the room in George's company. Michael and Lilly were left guarding the body to make sure he didn't get up.

Some time later Michael and Nikolai could be seen throwing something from the rooftop, the same thing that landed dryly on the ground. The roar was so loud that it attracted the attention of the zombies. They approached the bag and revealed the corpse of Bobby Phillips. The dead didn't think twice about digging their claws and teeth into the body.

—You know why I asked you to give me the gun, right, Jason?

—No... why? If it was me the one who...

—I don't want them to see you as the merciless cold killer who takes a life because he feels he has the right to do so.

—Yet... we...

Jason looked away in disgust.