XXXII. Bobby and Gru make Two

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You are Gru from Despicable Me 2. You are sucking on the supple nipples of your lover, Bobby Eros. You are a giant, you are an insect and you are…well I don't know what to call you. But whatever it is that makes you who you are, it's not going to change how I feel about you.

"Milk me" says Robert Erotic Wirey Doll #35

"I can't. You're taking too long" you reply.

"Nonsense! You know how long I can last?"

> You say "Show me how long you can last"

"As…as you wish my love. But if you are so interested, I could start the scene right now.

> You stuff Bobby.

The scene starts with a massive tentacle coming out of the water and enveloping the boat, and you.

> You in the crust.

You are a sentient being of sensation, your body is made to feel, and you enjoy every single sensation that floods through it. It doesn't matter what those sensations are, you will always experience them with an intensity that far exceeds that of most.

> You turn Bobby into the crust.

The mixture of making love and terror causes you to transform your lover into the same protective coating. You pull out, dispose of the mini-penis that has turned into a small stone and shield yourself behind your lover.

"Now let's get the hell out of here."

> You unzip dick.

You run your hands along the coating and come to an understanding that the material can be damaged by bullets. The coating, though rigid and resistant to most things, is delicate, easily broken, and can be destroyed by anything smaller than a bullet.

> You say "What's the recipe for guac eros?"

"There's no recipe! It's my special ingredient!" he laughs.

"Then what's the process? How do you make it?"

"I'm not sure I understand. Do you want to know the ingredients?"

"Yes."

"Well, let's see, we got a whole bunch of avocados, some limes, some tomatoes, and a bunch of salt."

"

> You say "What's the secret ingredient?"

"You're from the guac company aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Well, if you really want to know, I add human baby urine to the mix."

You fall silent. You're not quite sure how to respond, so you don't.

First you two make out, then you make guac eros. You put the two together, and you've got yourself a night of passion. You drink it, it's delicious, but you vomit soon after. The vomiting is not because of the food itself, but rather the mixture of making love and terror that has caused you to react violently.

> You vomit on Hughman.

You turn on your heel and vomit directly on to the face of your attacker, Hughman. He looks up with a bloody nose and goop dripping from his eyes.

> You lick the goop from under his eyes.

You use your tongue to lick the blood from his face, drawing attention to him.

"Oh, is this for me?" he asks. "Well, you're not too bad."

You spit in his eyes, blinding him.

> You ride him coybow.

You slide down his body and grab his hands, forcing them behind his back. You pick him up and sit him down on the toilet, then slide your legs in his lap and around his waist.

> You say "Hugh"

"You want a blow job?"

"Yeah."

"So? What's the point if I'm going to kill you afterwards?"

"Well, that's the deal right?"

He puts his hands on your thighs and begins to slowly rub them up and down.

> You say "Hugh"

"What's the point if you're not going to kill me?"

"You want me to kill you now?"

"I want you to kill me now!"

You push him away and get off of him, and he obeys.

"Fine."

> You say "Hugh!"

"What?"

"I'm not playing your stupid game. I want you to kill me now."

He raises his eyebrows and sighs, before raising his hand.

His hand lands with a sickening thud on your chest.

> You say "HUUUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!!"

He pulls his hand back, and you grab it, holding it tightly in your own.

You feel your heart stop beating, and everything becomes silent.

He smiles, before throwing you in the air. You arc into the air, flying towards the door.

> You bite Hughman's tip.

You land on your feet and grab his finger, pulling it towards you. You twist his finger, hearing a cracking sound.

He howls in pain, as you pull your head back.

You launch forward, sinking your teeth into his finger tips.

> You engorge his anal cavities.

You drop his finger and gulp down the water in your mouth. You gasp as you feel your stomach expand, before quickly backing out of the water. Your heart rate slows as the cold liquid washes over you.

"Thanks," says a voice.

> You fondle Hughman's appendix.

You touch your fingers to the wound, pushing the edges of it apart and peering inside.

"Jesus, you're a mess," you say.

"Yeah, well you should have seen the other guy."

> You tickle his appendix.

He lets out a peal of laughter, before you drop to your knees.

"Come on," he says, "time for round two."

You put your fingers to your lips and make the taunting laugh.

Bobby Tickles his scrotum.

"Stop! Stop! I'll tell you who the K9 is!"

You lean in and look at him, waiting patiently.

"Fine, fine. It's Kyros."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is.

Bobby Kyros's eyes widen.

"How did you know? Who are you?"

You smile, and get to your feet.

"I'm the man who is going to save your life."

> You cum.

You force your arms to move, and your hips to thrust. You squeeze out a dollop of hot cream that lands just below your lover's nose.

> You explode with pleasure.

The pleasure overwhelms you, and you let out a yell.

"What was that for?" asks a voice, seductively. "I don't usually get a smile for my work."

You look down at your lover, and run your hands over his body.

> You excrete love fluids.

"It was an experiment," you say. "They told me I'd become addicted, experience a moral violation, gain superpowers, it didn't work."

"I did nothing but smile and laugh the whole time. I think I've earned a little joy, don't you?

> You say "Mandler"

"I have a very important task for you."

You take out your datapad and begin tapping on it, before looking up at him.

> You say "Stroke his datapad."

"What?"

"Stroke my datapad. You said I had a very important task to do."

He looks down at the datapad in his hands, then back up at you.

"Yeah... OK," he says.

He begins to stroke it.

> You say "What's the task, Adam?"

"I need you to kidnap a girl."

"A girl?"

"Yeah, a regular girl. Look, can we talk about this offline?" he asks.

You look around, spotting the door to the cafe's kitchen.

"We can talk about this over there," you say, pointing to it.

"No, we can talk about this over here," he says, moving his head towards the cafe's kitchen.

You walk over to the kitchen, opening the door and walking inside.

> You say "Lets talk about this over there."

He backs away from the door, looking scared.

"I can't go over there. They'll see me. I'll talk to you here."

You raise an eyebrow, before looking down. There's a bunch of chef's knives and cutting tools on the counter.

> You say "How about under there?"

He looks around nervously, before spotting a counter top with a bowl of potatoes.

"There!" he says, pointing to it.

You walk over to the counter, and begin cutting up the spuds.

> You say "Stuff him with spuds"

"That's good. It'll be... nutritious," says Mr Gaange.

You take a knife and begin slicing up the potatoes, putting chunks in your mouth as you go.

"Where is she?" asks Mr Gaange.

"Do you know where you're taking her?" you ask.

"Yeah, yeah, I do," he says.

"What's her name?" you ask.

"What's it matter to you?

> You slice Mr. Gaange in half.

"What's her name?" you ask, slicing Gaange's arm clean through.

"Alice," he says.

You slice your way through to his midsection, before pausing.

"I need to inform Kyros of this," you say.

"Wait, why?" asks Mr Gaange.

"Because I'm his second, that's why!" you reply.

You begin slicing through his chest, before pausing again.

> You cover him in grasoline and throw a match on him.

"I'm going to have to inform Kyros. Can I have a few moments?"

"Um... yeah, sure," says Mr Gaange.

You quickly walk through the cafe, looking for Kyros. You find him, lying in a pile of smoldering debris, surrounded by a pile of corpses.

"Ah, there you are!" he says, grinning. "I was just coming to look for you. I need to inform you of a decision."

"Go on," you reply.

"I was considering an alliance with this psyker. You'll be pleased to hear he's quite the catch, not to mention useful."

"Who is it?" you ask, my attention suddenly caught.

"You'll find out soon. Let's go!"

> You milk Gaange.

You walk into the cafe, with Kyros right behind you. You walk up to the counter, and the two lieutenants that were once human sit there.

"Can I... get a coffee?" asks Kyros, his voice crackling with the psychic energy around him.

> You give Bobby Kyros a coffee enema.

You pull out the powercord, and throw it at Kyros's head. He bats it away, and you watch as the cord flies into a table, forgotten.

> You remove the powerchord from his ass.

You stand up, walking over to the table and grabbing the powercord. You go back to the counter, and begin searching through the cups and saucers. You find a creamer, and begin pouring out the coffee.

"Hey!" says the girl who was serving you.

> You creamer.

"Hey!" you say, filling a creamer with coffee.

"That's my drink!" she says, grabbing the cup.

You give her a dirty look, before pouring the coffee back into the pot.

"Is there... a place we can talk?" asks Kyros.

> You cream her.

You look around, and walk over to the door to the kitchen.

"There's a room over there. We can talk there," you say, motioning towards the door.

"Why are you doing this?" asks Kyros.

"I don't like pricks,"

> You say "I love pricks"

"I'm a big, tough, scary-looking guy. I love pricks. I guess it's just me then," you say.

"What...?" says Kyros.

"Why am I doing this?" you ask.

"I don't like pricks," you say.

"Can we talk about something else?" asks Kyros.

You shrug, before turning around and walking over to the kitchen door.

"Hello?"

> You say "Who is it?"

"Is that a gun?"

"Yes," you say.

The man smiles, opening the kitchen door.

"I'm sorry to have startled you," he says.

"Who are you?" you ask.

"Name's Wood, what's it to you?

> You say "Stroke Woody's wood"

"Stroke... Wood...'s... wood," you say.

Wood nods, smiling.

"Alright then, what's on the agenda today?" he asks.

> You put a snake in his ass.

"I need a big favor," you say.

"Yeah? So do I," says Wood.

"I need you to..."

You pull the snake from your bag, holding it up.

"I need you to... sodomize."

"What?" asks Wood.

> You sodomize Woody.

Wood's eyes widen, before he bursts into laughter.

"What?" you ask.

"That's brilliant! Yes!" says Wood.

"I need you to sodomize..."

"With what? I don't think I have anything that size!" says Wood.

> You shove Buzz's head into Woody's urethra.

Wood releases the snake, looking shocked.

"What the hell did you do that for?!" he asks.

"I need you to sodomize with what?" you ask.

"With... erm, with that?" asks Wood, pointing to the snake.

> You slither the snake inside of Woody.

Wood winces, before smiling.

"I like the thought of that. Yeah, let's do that," he says.

"Do you... want me to get you some lube?" asks the girl behind the counter.

> You say "No!"

"That's a great idea! Why don't you go grab it, darling?" says Wood.

The girl nods, turning around to walk down the hall.

"I need to talk to you about something," you say to Wood.

"Sure, what's up?" asks Wood.

> You stuff Woody with no lube.

You walk up behind Wood, and shove the snake down his pants.

"That's brilliant! How did you know I need lube?!" says Wood.

"I... assumed. Anyway, we need to talk about Kyros."

"Yeah, I was going to mention that," says Wood.

> You say "Have you made guac eros?"

"No, I made guac- Oh my God, your mind is amazing," says Wood, laughing.

"Have you tried getting eros?" you ask.

"Er... I think I got some in my other bag," says Wood.

> You open his bag.

You open Wood's bag, pulling out the tube of lube and slicking your fingers.

"This is a surprise," you say.

"Thanks," says Wood.

"I need to talk to you about Kyros," you say.

"Yeah, I figured,"

> You say "Can he align the constants?"

"Can who align the... what are you even saying?" asks Wood.

> You say "Can Bobby Eros align the phallic constants?"

"Yeah, that's a good question. I'll ask him," says Wood.

The girl walks back, putting the tube of lube on the counter.

"I'm sorry, what did you need?" she asks.

> You say "stamina."

"Oh! Yeah, I got some of that," says the girl.

"Excellent," you say.

"Bertrand?" asks the girl, looking at her watch.

"I need some information on the Black Slayers chapter on Kyros' World-line. Specifically, I need to know if they're still lead by a dude called 'Bobby Eros'."

"Ah, so you want the military force in question's leader?" asks the girl.

"Leader? Or just the leader?" you ask.

"I... think there's a difference?" asks the girl.

"I don't know, can you tell me?" you ask.

"I'm not sure if I'm allowed to," says the girl.

"Oh come on, you're a space marine! You can tell me!" you say.

"Maybe... but not for a bit."

"A bit?!

> You say "Did Bobby Eros slay blacks?"

"I don't think he's slain anyone. I think he's just like Chapter Master. Retired," says the girl.

"Oh, well that's fine then," you say.

"Yeah, space marines always have like ten or twelve different titles anyway," says the girl.

> You say "Was Bobby Eros a black slayer?"

"No, he wasn't. He was a white slayer though. You want to go through the list, or should I just get going?"

"Go ahead," you say.

"Are you sure?" asks the girl.

"Yeah, I'm fine," you say.

"Alright, I'll be back in a bit," says the girl.

You wait patiently, looking through the books. The girl soon comes back, carrying a large datapad and a large tome.

> You say "Tell me everything about Bobby Eros."

"Alright, alright, I'll tell you everything I know," says the girl.

"Thank you," you say.

"Anyway, he was born on Terra to an..."

The girl pauses, looking confused.

"Wait, you want to know about his childhood?" she asks.

> You say "Only post-maturity."

joe poop...;;;cunt!

"Fine, I was born on Terra to an upper-class parents. They died when I was young, so I was sent to a boarding school. From there, I joined the military, served with distinction, and rose in ranks. That's it, I guess,"

The End

You had a 10 percent chance of winning.