Asherpate's cars series 3 episode 1: 1995 Florida 500

Sadly, Eugene Carbureski won

## Transcript

Dale Earnhardt: Hey, kid! I now have 7 Piston Cups! Maybe you can win your first Piston Cup!

Jeff Gorvette: Apsolutly! Hopefully, I'll dominate after this season ends!

Dale Earnhardt: We'll see!

(qualifying)

Ray Reverham: Ok! You're qualifying in 4th place!

Jeff Gorvette: Wow! Inside the top 5!

(before the race)

Johnny Blamer: Oh, a ticket. Probably fake.

Minivan: Hey you son of a (Yee)!! It's mine.

Johnny Blamer: But-

Minivan: I DON'T GIVE A FLYING PIECE OF (2x Popeye toot).

Johnny Blamer: But.

Minivan: (Seal Bark) YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Johnny Blamer cries heavily)

Spike: Poor rookie Blamer...

(Later on the news, the minivan has won the 120000 dollars lottery)

Minivan: I WON THE FLORIDA LOTTERY OF 1995!!!

(Pre-Race Team Radio)

Johnny Blamer: Why am I so unlucky! This is not fair. I shouldn't have dropped that (Dolphin Censor) ticket. (Dolphin Censor) my luck...

(the race starts)

Ken Squier: Dale and Dale! A Dale of two Dales coming to the line to start the 500!

Jeff Gorvette: Let's do this!

Ken Squier: Dale Carrett and Dale Earnhardt are battling for the lead!

Ned Carrett: Yeah! My son, Dale has started on the pole! Dale and Dale are fighting for he lead! This looks like when it's near the end of the 500 2 years ago, those 2 we're in the Dale and Dale show! And Dale Carrett won the race!

Spike: What if at the end of the 500, it's Dale vs Dale vs Jeff! That would be a battle between Dale Earnhardt, Dale Carrett and Jeff Gorvette!

Ned Carrett: And Jeff may win the race!

Dale Earnhardt: Time to take the lead! (passes Dale Carrett)

Ken Squier: Now Dale Earnhardt passes Dale Carrett on the outside and takes the lead! Dale will lead lap number 1! It's now lap number 2 and dale Earnhardt is still the leader! Fallowed by Dale Carrett, Eugene Carburaski and Jeff Gorvette!

Ned Carrett: And Eugene Carburaski trying to take 2nd away from Dale Carrett, my son! I don't want him to get wrecked by the mean pink car!

Eugene Carburaski: HA HA HA HA! 'M GONNA PASS YOU!

Dale Carrett: NO! YOU'RE A MEAN RACER! (blocks Eugene Carburaski)

Ned Carrett: Now Eugene Carburaski goes into the inside while Dale Carrett blocks him! Don't let the pink car pass you!

Eugene Carburaski: YOU CANT DO THAT!

(Dale Carrett still blocks Eugene Carburaski)

Ken Squier: Dale Earnhardt will lead lap number 2! it's lap number 3 and Dale Earnhardt is still the leader!

Ned Carrett: And Dale Carrett still blocking Eugene Carburaski! If Eugene passes my son, then it would be a nightmare!

(Dale Carrett still blocks Eugene Carburaski)

Eugene Carburaski: I'M DONE WITH YOU! (passes Dale Carrett)

(Dale Carrett makes contact with Eugene Carburaski)

Eugene Carburaski: NOW IT'S YOUR TURN, EARNHARDT!

Dale Earnhardt: NO! (blocks Eugene Carburaski)

Ken Squier: Now Dale Earnhardt is blocking Eugene Carburaski!

Spike: Yeah! I hate Eugene Carburaski!

Eugene Carburaski: THAT'S ENOUGH WITH YOU! (passes Dale Earnhardt)

Ken Squier: Now Eugene Carburaski has the lead and will complete lap number 3!

(lap 30)

Jeff Gorvette: Time to pass you Eugene Carburaski! You're the mean pink car!

Eugene Carburaski: HA! YO CAN'T PASS ME LOSER! (blocks Jeff Gorvette)

Jeff Gorvette: UNFAIR!

Ned Carrett: OH NO! EUGENE CARBURASKI IS BLOCKING JEFF GORVETTE!

Spike: What will Jeff do!

Jeff Gorvette: OUT OF THE WAY, SO MEAN PINK CAR! (does a bump-n-run on Eugene Carburaski)

Eugene Carburaski: UGH!

Ken Squier: Jeff Gorvette does a bump-n-run on Eugene Carburaski and will lead lap 30!

(lap 60)

Ken Squier: Jeff Gorvette is in the lead with Billy Oilchanger right behind him!

Billy Oilchanger: Time to take the lead! (passes Jeff Gorvette)

Ned Carrett: And Billy Oilchanger passes him! He will lead lap 60! It's lap 61 and Billy Oilchanger is the leader of this race! Ernie Gearson is up to 3rd!

Ned Carrett: And Ernie Gearson trying to take the lead from Jeff Gorvette!

Spike: I hope Ernie will push Jeff to the lead!

Ernie Gearson: Time to take the lead form the 33! (passes Jeff Gorvette)

Ned Carrett: And Ernie Gearson has gone by Jeff Gorvette! He's now gonna challange on Billy Oilchanger!

Ernie Gearson: Here's the lead! (passes Billy Oilchanger)

Ken Squier: Now Ernie Gearson has passed Billy Oilchanger and will lead lap 61!

(lap 68)

Jeff Gorvette: (passes Billy Oilchanger) Time to take the lead again! (passes Ernie Gearson)

Ken Squier: Jeff Gorvette now takes the lead from Ernie Gearson!

Ned Carrett: Jeff is a very fast car here as he leads lap 68!

(lap 70)

(the rain)

Jeff Gorvette: Uh oh! It's the rain!

Ray Reverham: The caution is out!

Jeff Gorvette: Yeah, cheif! It's the rain!

Ken Squier: The caution is out because of the rain! The race will continue tommarow!

(1 day later, the restart)

Ken Squier: And the restart has came!

Jeff Gorvette: Time to keep the lead!

(lap 980)

James Cleanair: (blows an engine) OH NO! I HAVE BLOWN AN ENGINE!

(Jeff Gorvette slips on James Cleanair's oil)

Ned Carrett: James Cleanair blows an engine, and Jeff Gorvette slips on his oil!

Jeff Gorvette: OH NO! I'M ABOUT TO CRASH AGAIN!

(luckly, Jeff Gorvette saved it while Dale Earnhardt bumped into the side of Jeff Gorvette's bumper causing Jeff's bumper to come off)

Ken Squier: Jeff Gorvette has spun, now he saved it!

Spike: And looks like Jeff's bumper came off! I think Dale Earnhardt ran to Jeff's bumper which takes Jeff's bumper off!

Ned Carrett: I think Earnahrdt did it by an accedent!

Ken Squier: All of this is true!

Ray Reverham: The caution is out! Ready to pit?

Jeff Gorvette: Yes! I slipped on oil from the 61 car, and I got spun!

Ray Reverham: and looks like your bumper came off!

Jeff Gorvette: Yeah! I'm coming!

Ken Squier: And the caution is out! Jeff Gorvette comes to pit road and he will change some tires!

Ned Carrett: And Jeff is in his pits! That will be all 4 tires and just 1 can of fuel, and he'll be back in the race shortly after!

Spike: And they have to do something with Gorvette's bumper!

Ken Squier: Gorvette will be out of the pits in a minute.

(3 laps later)

Ray Reverham: Ok you're out Jeff!

Jeff Gorvette: Ok, cheif! Time to ceatch up!

(lap 181)

Dale Earnhardt: I MUST KEEP THE LEAD!

Eugene Carburaski: NOT SO FAST MR FAT GUY! (passes Dale Earnhardt)

Ned Carrett: OH NO! EUGENE CARBURASKI PASSES DALE EARNAHRDT AND LEADS LAP 181!

(lap 186)

Dale Earnhardt: STOP BLOCKING ME!

Eugene CarburaskI: HA HA HA HA! No one stops me now!

Chuck Armstrong: (passes Dale Earnahrdt) Well I will! (passes Eugene Carburaski)

Eugene Carburaski: NOPE! YOU'RE DOWN! (turns Chuck Armstrong)

Pinkie: OH AND CHUCK ARMSTRONG SPINS ON TURN 3 AND HITS THE OUTSIDE WALL!

Ken Squier: And the caution will be out!

Ray Reverham: The caution is out!

Jeff Gorvette: Ok!

(finish)

Spike: EUGENE CARBURASKI IS GOING TO WIN THE FLORIDA 500! DALE EARNHARDT SECOND, ERNIE GEARSON THIRD, CHICK HICKS FOURTH, AND DALE CARRETT ROUNDS OUT THE TOP 5. MICHEAL CARTRIP FINISHES SIXTH! BILLY SEVENTH, CRUSTY EIGHTH, AND KEN NINTH!

Pinkie: OH NO! THE MEAN PINK CAR WINS THE GREAT AMERICAN RACE!

Ken, Ned, Pinkie and Spike: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Ruby Radio)

Eugene Carburaski: HA HA HA HA! I WON THE FLORIDA 500!!!

Dale Earnhardt: YOU'RE STUPID, EUGENE CARBURASKI! BOO!

Jeff Gorvette: Yeah! I agree with the Intiminator! GO HOME AND GET LOST!

Eugene Carburaski: WHATEVER!