If No One Remembered/Quotes

**The following is a partial transcript of the *Mountain of Mystery* episode "If No One Remembered"**:

## More of the Same Shit

**SIOBHAN**: How to put things...

**LAZARUS**: There's no real delicate way of doing it, is there?

**CASH**: Well, probably the easy one, uh, as far as I'm concerned... What did he do this time?

**SIOBHAN**: It's nothing recent, by any means. Um, we know your father from some time ago.

**LAZARUS**: About twenty years?

**SIOBHAN**: Uh, about that, yes.

**KAHLAN**: Figures.

**CASH**: It's funny how everyone but me seems to know him.

**SIOBHAN**: Unfortunately, I do believe a lot of you are in the dark about a lot of things. I–

**KAHLAN**: This is going to be a long fucking day.

**ABOUKIR**: Right?

**SIOBHAN**: Prints. Your mother gave us a call not, uh, but a few days ago, maybe, uh, and let us know a little bit about... what you guys have been going through. Uh, I will be the first to say that I'm sorry that these things are happening to your group. Uh, I take it you are Trouble.

**TROUBLE**: Usually.

**SIOBHAN**: To you, specifically, I am sorry that this has made such an impact, and will continue to do so, I'm sure.

**TROUBLE**: You know what's quite funny? It really hasn't. It– it really hasn't changed that much. Yes: there are people after me now, and yes: it does involve the, quite frankly, some of the only people I've ever called friends in my entire life, but... it– honestly, this is pretty par for the course.

**SIOBHAN**: Oh, dear. I'm sorry that you're dealing with that. Um, we were informed that Jean is working on a solution. We have not yet heard from him, which either means it's going extremely well or he's dead. Hard to tell with him. Um, and–

**LAZARUS**: You wouldn't happen to know who he was talking to?

*At the mention of Jean, Shiloh absentmindedly bends his fork in half.*
**TROUBLE**: I think you'll find we're not fans either.

**SIOBHAN**: He is a hard man to get along with, but when it comes to matters of solving magical issues, he is quite good. Uh, if–

**CASH**: Well, I suppose he has to be reliable in some fashion or something in his life.

**SIOBHAN**: Everyone has their speciality. Um–

**CASH**: I know what his isn't.

**SIOBHAN**: What is all of your– your– your plans?

**TROUBLE**: I love that you think we have those.

**LAZARUS**: Again with this P-word.

**CASH**: Punching my dad in the face again next time I see him, if I see him again.

**KAHLAN**: Keep Trouble alive, away from the things that are chasing them.

**TROUBLE**: Oh, I think that's a losing plan, but we can try.

**SIOBHAN**: Um, well, we plan to be in town here for not long, but for a bit of time. We have some shopping we need to do. Um, deals that need to be made. Shiloh here, uh, is a brewmaster and is very well known, uh, at all taverns near and far. Uh, so he has a lot of business to do here in town, and of course, I have my own little business that I work with. I am not an unskilled seamstress.

**LAZARUS**: I got some new stuff for the bar back home, too.

**SIOBHAN**: Perfect. Um, when we head home, we can easily put it in the cart. I'm sure we'll find room. As for everything else, um–

*The tavern door opens, and Sound of Bells enters.*
**TROUBLE**: I– please do not take this the wrong way, yet with all of you converging, this feels like something bad is about to happen.

**LAZARUS**: Oh, it feels pointed.

**SOUND OF BELLS**: It is good to see you too, dear.

*Kahlan orders a shot and sits at a table with Pearce and Aboukir.*
**LAZARUS**: Can you make it two?

**PEARCE**: Three.

**CASH**: Four.

**TROUBLE**: Let's call it a round.

**KAHLAN**: A round for the table, please.

**CASH**: As long as my Pa doesn't show up, I suppose we'll be fine.

**LAZARUS**: I was just gonna say, as long as your fucking dad doesn't show up, we'll be alright.

**KAHLAN**: Oh, I swear it's going to be a long fucking day.

**BELLS**: I– I spoke with him last night. He–

**CASH**: I'm sorry for your loss.

**BELLS**: He is currently dealing with his wizard friend trying to work out the best way to remove the issue from Trouble.

**CASH**: I don't believe you.

**BELLS**: Um–

**CASH**: Oh, not– not on the, uh, trying-to-help-Trouble. The– the fact that he has a friend.

**SHILOH**: Maybe I do like this kid.

**LAZARUS**: Thanks. Oh, him...

**BELLS**: Prints, of course, it's wonderful to see you. Uh, moth– Mom says hi. Mama s– Mama says hi. Uh, she's currently dealing with the tribe as well, and they are doing fine.

**PRINTS**: Why didn't you tell me dad had a brother?

*Lazarus's mother and father and Sound of Bells all freeze.*
**PRINTS**: Oh, well, shit. I did it again.

**BELLS**: Uh, well, Prints, um, the man that you're looking for– uh, Uncle Phil is your father's brother, not mine.

**PRINTS**: Yeah?

**BELLS**: Uh, so technically, I did tell you. I just– I suppose I didn't specify.

**LAZARUS**: It was the truth from a certain point of view.

**SHILOH**: Is Phil even still alive?

**BELLS**: The last I heard, yes he is, and as far as I know, he's the only one that can help my Prints.

**SIOBHAN**: Well, this is, I'm sure, getting a little overwhelming for all of you. Um...

**LAZARUS**: Oh, no, we've been overwhelmed for, like, the last eight days. We're just, like, at a steady level of full-overwhelm.

**TROUBLE**: Quite– quite frankly, this feels like more of the same shit.

**SIOBHAN**: Yes, well, unfortunately, more of the same shit is something that we are experiencing as well.

**ABOUKIR**: That is all very comforting to know. Yeah.

**SIOBHAN**: I would like to answer your questions. However, I think it best we wait. Um, it shouldn't be too much–

**BELLS**: I spoke with her as well. Uh, they– they said they'd be arriving at least same time around I would.

**LAZARUS**: Oh, good. It's an intervention.

**KAHLAN**: They?

**LAZARUS**: Where's the other two?

**THAVA**: I am already here.

**SADO**: Master Qhore?

*Thava steps out of the shadows of one corner holding a reed.*
**SADO**: M– M– Mother? Wh–

**THAVA**: Sado.

**SADO**: Why are you here?

**THAVA**: I was asked.

**SADO**: But–

**ABOUKIR**: I– I ju– I just don't even know what to think any more.

**SADO**: But– but– but why? Why were you asked here? I thought you were you told me you were going to be taking over–

**THAVA**: Because my–

**SADO**: Sorry, Mother.

**THAVA**: My son was causing problems. So here I am, to help solve them.

**SADO**: Ah– Mmm– sorry, Mother.

**THAVA**: You look... stronger.

**ABOUKIR**: [to Kahlan] At some point, she is going to say that he looks underfed. Mark my words.

**THAVA**: Nonsense. He eats like a good boy. Every day: three meals.

**SADO**: Yes, Mother.

**LAZARUS**: I've seen it.

**SADO**: I met Qhore.

*Thava rolls her eyes.*
**ABOUKIR**: That looks very encouraging.

**THAVA**: Right. Of course he saw you.

**SADO**: Well, he taught me my training as to what you're seeing before you. But I clearly am missing parts of this story.

**THAVA**: That is part of the reason we're here. It's time that we all tell you why you're all here.

**TROUBLE**: Is it–

**ABOUKIR**: I already know. I'm getting paid.

**SADO**: Okay, but first, Mother...

*Sado lifts his mother in a hug.*
**SADO**: I know how much you hate this, but endure it, Mother.

**LAZARUS**: She's here because she knocked me unconscious

**TROUBLE**: Is it–

**ABOUKIR**: I have a sneaking suspicion a gust of wind could do that.

**TROUBLE**: Is it a good idea– is it a good idea to discuss these things so openly?

**LAZARUS**: Yeah.

*Siobhan glances to the barkeep, who nods.*
**SIOBHAN**: Here will be sufficient, at least for now. Alright. Some years ago, the lot of us, including Jean, were... an adventuring party.

**ABOUKIR**: Oh, snap.

**TROUBLE**: Just– just Jean?

**LAZARUS**: You too, mom?

**SIOBHAN**: Excuse me?

**LAZARUS**: You're just way more secretive about it than dad was.

**SIOBHAN**: I'm a little hurt that you sound so shocked.

**LAZARUS**: You got that good Stealth.

**SIOBHAN**: Hm. I'm sorry: uh, what were you asking?

**TROUBLE**: Was it just Jean?

**SIOBHAN**: No. Uh, us here, Jean, and Prints's father. That was our main group. We had friends – and frenemies – join us from time to time, such as Qhore and, um, your Uncle Phil has joined us before on a few excursions. Though he was less enthusiastic about it. We went from a very... small notoriety– small amount of notoriety, and we were quickly thrust into a situation when a– some sort of being– a being from another plane of existence attempted to destroy Exandria. Through an exorbitant amount of luck, lots of persuading, and no small amount of blood, we were able to find a way to defeat this being. The only way we were able to do so was to split its body from its power, and once that was done, the power then was split up and sealed into five separate dragon eggs. Those were items that we could procure that would be strong enough to hold this amount of godlike power. Once that was done, Jean tapped into that power and made the world forget. We figured it would be difficult for this thing to return if no one remembered it. Unfortunately, and to no one's surprise, it's not like you just suddenly know how to use godlike power, and the wipe was incomplete. There were pockets of people that knew what happened: some places were able to resist, and apparently, some of those people decided to continue following this being, and swore to bring it back. So: we divided the eggs and hid them in various places. Only the one who hid the egg knows where it is. None of us shared the location of each other's eggs. Over–

**LAZARUS**: And you're all sitting here in this room, together.

**SIOBHAN**: For the first time in many years, yes.

**CASH**: So, was the– cracking them and creating, like, a divine omelet buffet not an option? And just get rid of it?

**SIOBHAN**: We tried many different options. Um, there were certain attempts that ended in disaster, so we kept trying until we found the way we did. Are there any questions?

**LAZARUS**: Hundreds.

**TROUBLE**: What was it?

**SIOBHAN**: The entity? We never fully were able to learn that. Um, it was a being that, as far as we could tell, ate worlds, and with them that world's gods. It devoured anything and everything it could find.

**TROUBLE**: Sounds like some serious trouble.

**SIOBHAN**: And a piece of that trouble is currently inside you.

**TROUBLE**: It is not lost on me.

**SIOBHAN**: What's confusing me is how you are still okay.

**TROUBLE**: I'm not.

**ABOUKIR**: Agreed.

**SIOBHAN**: This thing should've either killed you or used you to kill everything in your path.

**ABOUKIR**: I'm pretty sure this thing is scared of her.

**SIOBHAN**: Hm. That may be true, but I highly doubt it. I have seen this thing face-to-face, and it is an embodiment of fear.

**TROUBLE**: I am not afraid.

**SIOBHAN**: I hope you can remain that way.

**THAVA**: Your will must be a lot stronger than this thing somehow, or maybe it's just because it's only a piece. Time will tell if you can handle it. Hopefully, we will remove it before that ever fi– we ever find that out.

**TROUBLE**: If it is truly so dangerous, why do you not end me? Or are you concerned that it will puppeteer my body?

**SHILOH**: We concerned it. We lost our friend that day, and if this thing finds a way back, he died for nothing. None of us will ever allow that. But we decided that this thing caused the death of enough innocents, and we wouldn't allow it to take another if we could.

**TROUBLE**: [LAUGHS] I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

**ABOUKIR**: You see her laughing?

**TROUBLE**: I have not been innocent in years. I have done what it takes to survive, and I will con– will continue to do so, and I will do so for all those I continue– I consider a friend. I would not put innocent on the list of things you call me.

**THAVA**: Words and descriptions are just things. The fact that you are able to hold this thing back for as long as you have proves that you are enough for this task. At least for now. Sado: get me a drink, please.

**SADO**: Yes, Mother.

**THAVA**: Goldcrest might take a little more time. These things of magic in and of themselves are difficult, and dealing with this entity only increases that difficulty. I don't doubt that he'll come through. But we must– we are here to prepare for the possibility that he fails. That's something we will deal with; you can leave it to us.

*Lazarus thinks but does not say: "We see how well leaving the entity to you has worked out."*
**LAZARUS**: The thought I thought but will not say...

**SIOBHAN**: Lazarus. Uh, if there's things that need said, you need to say them. This isn't the time to be holding things back.

**LAZARUS**: No, it's– you taught me if I don't have anything nice to say, that I shouldn't say it.

**CASH**: Is it about my Pa being a dick?

**LAZARUS**: No, we all know that. That's objective fact.

**ABOUKIR**: This– this– this is the part where I think you mother doesn't give a damn.

**LAZARUS**: It's not productive

**THAVA**: Now then, you all are welcome to go about your adventuring and the like. Be ready to come–

**ABOUKIR**: With the world about to end?

**LAZARUS**: Right.

**THAVA'**: That is our issue currently, and–

**LAZARUS**: It's only a fifth of the way.

**THAVA**: When you are needed, we will ask you.

**LAZARUS**: Yeah.

**ABOUKIR**: Alright.

**LAZARUS**: I was kinda wondering why the thing that happened when I was sixteen, I don't remember.

**CASH**: So you're saying an elephant does forget.

**TROUBLE**: I have a... upsetting question. What of his wife? Goldcrest. What does she know of this?

**SIOBHAN**: Elowynn was never an adventurer. It wasn't for her. She was much more... safe, I would say. The only amount of danger I've ever seen her put herself in is asking. She doesn't know everything. When Jean made everyone forget, when it came to her, he mostly just altered her– her memories rather than completely change them. However, she knows enough that she knew that Cash would be in danger, and as far as I'm aware, she took steps to protect you. Am I right? Cash?

**CASH**: Uh...

**LAZARUS**: Baby steps?

**CASH**: Yeah.

**TROUBLE**: She did.

**CASH**: Yeah.

**SIOBHAN**: All of us have made difficult decisions throughout the years. Me and Shiloh are among them. When you are in this life for as long as we were, difficult decisions are something that you face almost daily. But, yes, Trouble: I'm aware she is here. And I have not spoken with her yet, but we plan to. She was a good friend, and none of us have seen her in quite a few years. Speaking of, none of us have seen Cash in quite a few years. We knew you when you were very young, Cash; you likely don't remember, either from your father's own doing, or from just age. But it's good to see the man you've become.

**THAVA**: At least you're not as scrawny.

**CASH**: Well... didn't have much of an option. I kind had to get bigger.

**THAVA**: Only time will tell to see if that armor is only for show.

**CASH**: Hasn't been so far.

**THAVA**: We have things we need to do around the city. We will call you when Goldcrest figures something out. Until then, try and stay safe. Sado.

**SADO**: Yes, Mother?

**THAVA**: Protect your friends.

**SADO**: Yes, Mother.

*Thava exits the tavern.*
**BELLS**: Yeah. I have things I need to take care of myself. We're all working different angles to try and figure out a way to help you, Trouble. We ain't gonna let this stand, and we ain't gonna let this thing come back either. We'll find a way to help y'all. Prints, I'm here if you need to talk about anything; you as well, Trouble. In fact, I would like to have lunch. I would like to have lunch today if that's okay with the two of you.

**PRINTS**: Of– of course.

**BELLS**: Alright. We'll meet here around then.

*Shiloh stands to leave.*
**SHILOH**: Oh, boy. I got work to do myself. Pearce! You're helping me carry shit. Let's go.

*Pearce finishes his drink and follows Shiloh outside.*
**LAZARUS**: Told you, Kahlan. There's only one person Pearce listens to, and it ain't me.

**BELLS**: Well, there's two.

**LAZARUS**: There's two people Pearce listens to, but to be fair, the person– one of the people he listens to listens to the other person he listens to, so...

**BELLS**: That's true, so there's a hierarchy between...

**LAZARUS**: Mm-hm.

**SIOBHAN**: If there's anything, any clothing that any of you need mended, leave it here with me. I would like something for my hands to do.

**LAZARUS**: Eh, nah. I'm good enough.

*Trouble* druidcraft*s an interlocking wooden puzzle and gives it to Siobhan.*
**SIOBHAN**: Thank you very much, Trouble. Well then, you all go about your day. We will be around.

**TROUBLE**: Miss Kahlan.

**KAHLAN**: Yes?

**TROUBLE**: I feel the urge to hit something. Would you like to go see about a fight with me?

**KAHLAN**: Oh my *gods*, yes! Please.

**LAZARUS**: Want– want a rematch?

*Sado perks up at the mention of a fight.*
**KAHLAN**: [to Sado and Aboukir] You two.

**LAZARUS**: Mom. Mom, wait. Wait. You gotta wait. You gotta watch this. This is good shit.

**SIOBHAN**: I'm sure I've seen plenty of fights.

*Siobhan sets down the completed puzzle, takes out two long needles, and begins knitting.*