Suicidal Drowning

-Inverted world and daydream suicide-

"*If only the sky and the sea were reversed.*"— **Description from the music video**
**Suicidal Drowning** (入水, *Jusui*[?]) is a song by Guchiry featuring IA. It is the fifteenth track of the album *Butterfly Dream*, and the image song for Tetra.

### Guchiry's comment

Hello, this is Guchiry.
I'd like to talk about tropical fish again.

To all the new working people, let's stay strong.

I'll do my best for the new working people, too.

Now please listen to the new song...... "**Suicidal Drowning**".
## Lyrics

* Japanese
* Romaji
* English

暗い水底に　意識を飛ばして

枯れ果てた肌に　雫を垂らした

滴る涙も　溶けゆくこの場所は

矮小なボクには広大すぎた水槽

沈めど　沈めど　鼓動は続いている

押し潰されそうな　心はまだ生きていたんだ

夢見る　孤独な化物

身動きさえも碌に　取ることが出来ない

そんな　不自由な水の中で今

消えゆく　命の灯火

空気のない世界で　燃えることは出来ない

そうか　ボクは息がしたいだけだった

眩い光の　差し込んだ先に

誰かが零した　涙の跡

呼吸すらままならぬ　水底はもうごめんだ

進めど　進めど　見えない果ての先に

目指した楽園を　信じて疑わなかったんだ

あぁ

揺蕩う　この身体もいつか

やがて腐り果てては　自然に還りゆく

そんな　限りある時間の中で今

微睡む　夢現の間

水槽を抜け出して　辿り着いたここはどうだ？

あぁ

消えゆく　命の灯火

水のない世界では　泳ぐことが出来ない

そうか　ボクは息をしていたんだ

暗い水底に　意識を飛ばして

枯れ果てた肌に　雫を垂らした

Kurai suitei ni ishiki o tobashite

Kare hateta hada ni shizuku o tarashita

Shitataru namida mo tokeyuku kono basho wa

Waishouna boku ni wa koudaisugita suisou

Shizumedo shizume do kodou wa tsuzuiteiru

Oshi tsubusare souna kokoro wa mada ikiteita nda

Yumemiru kodokuna bakemono

Miugoki sae mo roku ni toru koto ga dekinai

Sonna fujiyuuna mizu no naka de ima

Kieyuku inochi no tomoshibi

Kuuki no nai sekai de moeru koto wa dekinai

Sou ka boku wa iki ga shitai dakedatta

Mabayui hikari no sashikonda saki ni

Dareka ga koboshita namida no ato

Kokyuu sura mama naranu suitei wa mou gomenda

Susumedo susumedo mienai hate no saki ni

Mezashita rakuen o shinjite utagawanakatta nda

Aa

Yura u kono shintai mo itsuka

Yagate kusari hatete wa shizen ni kaeriyuku

Sonna kagiri aru jikan no naka de ima

Madoromu yumeutsutsu no ma

Suisou o nukedashite tadori kiita koko wa douda？

Aa

Kieyuku inochi no tomoshibi

Mizu no nai sekai de wa oyogu koto ga dekinai

Sou ka boku wa iki o shiteita nda

Kurai suitei ni ishiki o tobashite

Kare hateta hada ni shizuku o tarashita

Away from consciousness to the dark depths of the water

Dripping drops on my withered skin

Even the dripping tears are melting in this place

The tank is too vast for my diminutive body

Sink after sink after sink, the heartbeat continues

The heart that was about to be crushed was still alive

Dreaming, lonely monster

I can't even move as far as one can

In such crippling water, now

The fading light of life

You can't burn in a world without air

Right, I just wanted to breathe

At the point where the dazzling light is inserted

Someone spilled a tear

I don't want to be at the bottom of a body of water where I can't even breathe

Onward and onward, to the unseen end

I never doubted that I had found the paradise I was striving for

Ahh

This swaying body someday,

Will eventually decay and return to nature

Now, with such a limited amount of time

Sleeping in a room with a sunken hearth

What do you think of this place, where you got out of the tank and ended up?

Ahh

The fading light of life

You can't swim in a world without water

Oh, yeah. I was breathing

Away from consciousness to the dark depths of the water

Dripping drops on my withered skin

**Original translation done with DeepL and Google Translate, edited by Wojobart**

## External Links

### Official

* YouTube
* NicoNico
* Ameblo - Lyrics
* piapro - Off Vocal

### Unofficial

* SoundCloud
* VOCALOID Database

## Hidden Text

* Japanese
* Romaji
* English

憧れていた世界は

所詮、憧れていた世界のままで

どれだけ手を伸ばせど

夢は

夢の

ままだった

努力をした気になっている自分が嫌い

実力を運のせいにする自分が嫌い

我が身可愛さに保身に走る自分が嫌い

自己肯定する自分が嫌い

他人を見下す自分が嫌い

自分を嫌う自分が嫌い

嫌いな自分を殺したい

そう思いながらも結局のところ

漠然と “生きたい”と願ってしまっている

浅ましい自分を許せない。

硝子の向こう側に、

夢見た世界が広がっていると思っていた。

でもそんなことはなくて。

行き着いた先が求めていた場所とは限らない。

気付いた時にはもう何もかも手遅れで。

こうするしかなかったんだ。

全知全能の神様・・・どうか来世では、

“人間”で在れますように。

非生産的な生き物に生まれ、

水槽に閉じこもる日々に嫌気がさし、

逃げてはまた逃げ、 また逃げて。

楽園を幻視する化け物に成り果てた。

足りない頭で考えたところで、

何も思い浮かばない。

誰かに助けてほしかった。

でもそれは自分が助けを乞うことをしなかったから。

結局のところ何もかもが、

自業自得の末路だったわけで。

諦めた末に残ったのは、惨めな死だった。

Akogareteita sekai wa

shosen, akogareteita sekai no mama de

dore dake te o nobasedo

yume wa

yume no

mamadatta

Doryoku o shita ki ni natteiru jibun ga kirai

Jitsuryoku o un no sei ni suru jibun ga kirai

Wagami kawai sa ni hoshin ni hashiru jibun ga kirai

Jiko koutei suru jibun ga kirai

Tanin o mikudasu jibun ga kirai

Jibun o kirau jibun ga kirai

Kiraina jibun o koroshitai

Sou omoinagara mo kekkyoku no tokoro

Bakuzento “ikitai” to negatteshimatteiru

Asamashii jibun o yurusenai.

Garasu no mukougawa ni,

yumemita sekai ga hirogatteiru to omotteita.

Demo sonna koto wa nakute.

Ikitsuita saki ga motometeita basho to wa kagiranai.

Kizuita toki ni wa mou nanimokamo teokure de.

Kou suru shika nakatta nda.

Zenchizennou no kamisama douka raise de wa,

“ningen” de aremasu you ni.

hi seisan tekina ikimono ni umare,

suisou ni tojikomoru hibi ni iyake ga sashi,

Nigete wa mata nige, mata nigete.

Rakuen o genshi suru bakemono ni nari hateta.

Tarinai atama de kangaeta tokoro de,

nani mo omoi ukabanai.

Dare ka ni tasukete hoshikatta.

Demo sore wa jibun ga tasuke o kou koto o shinakattakara.

Kekkyoku no tokoro nanimokamo ga,

jigoujitoku no matsurodatta wake de.

Akirameta sue ni nokotta no wa, mijimena shidatta.

The world I longed for

is still the world I longed after all

no matter how much I reach out

the dream

remained

a dream

I hate myself because I feel like I've made an effort

I hate myself for blaming luck for my ability

I hate myself for being self-protective because I'm cute

I hate myself for being self-affirming

I hate myself for looking down on others

I hate myself for hating myself

I want to kill the person I hate

Even though I think so in the end

I vaguely wish to “live”

I can’t forgive myself for being so shallow.

I thought that the world I dreamed of was expanding,

on the other side of the glass.

But that's not the case.

Where you end up is not necessarily the place you were looking for.

By the time I realized it, it was already too late.

I had no choice but to do this.

Omniscient and omnipotent God... I hope that in the next life,

I will be a "human".

Born to be an unproductive creature,

feeling tired of being confined in a tank,

I ran away, and then ran away again, and then ran away again.

I became a monster with visions of paradise.

Even if I think with my insufficient brain,

I can't think of anything.

I wanted someone to help me.

But that's because I didn't ask for help.

In the end everything,

turned out to be my own fault.

What remained after giving up was a miserable death.

**Original translation done with DeepL and Google Translate, edited by Wojobart**