recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Die Wand Aus Blutigen Kopfkrabben

Die Wand Aus Blutigen Kopfkrabben (Galactic English- The Wall of Bloody Headcrabs) was a massive Omniversal duplication glitch which occurred on the border of Germany and Austria in 155 BB, during the Great META War. After one German soldier shot and killed a Xennish Headcrab, it suddenly was two, and then four, and continued duplicating as such, until it reached astronomical levels of Headcrab Corpses. They piled into a wall which was nearly eighty feet tall, forty-six miles long, and contained roughly sixty trillion dead Headcrab duplicates. This error was corrected when the Entity Limit on Earth 2 reached the maximum value, freezing the duplication. As a result of this, no human babies were born for nearly thirteen years, until enough of the corpses had rotten beyond the point of 'Entity' status.

## Consequences of the Wall

The Wall severely limited trade between Germany and Austria. The two nations faced a serious challenge in trading around Die Wand Aus Blutigen Kopfkrabben. At first, they attempted to dig holes underground; but they found that the headcrab corpses had compacted nearly twenty meters down. So, they were forced to send objects up in hot air balloons, throwing bread, milk, and other assorted goods over the border to one another.

Relations between Germany and Austria became strained over the years; although they spoke the same language, the two nations became alienated from one another; eventually referring to one another as the "Menschen jenseits der Mauer" (People beyond the wall).

The wall persisted for over one hundred years; it wasn't until U.S. President Ronald Reagan's visit to Germany in 39 BB, in which he saw the hideous mass of rotting flesh which had just lingered for a century.

"Mrs. Merkel!", Reagan called to German Chancellor Angela 'Terminator' Merkel;

"Tear down this wall!"

And so the wall was torn down. The rotting Headcrabs were not frozen, they were not shipped to the United States, they were not exploited by the meatpacking industry for use in sausages and hot dogs, they were not responsible for an E. coli outbreak which killed 10 million Americans, and they definitely were not transported to Black Mesa for reanimative research.
Combine-19 Virus

The Combine-19 Virus was a biologically engineered supervirus which was ejaculated from the C.O.C.K at lightspeed in an incubation tank and crashed into mainland China. It was designed as 'payback' for the Gigamagnet's genocidal slaughter of over 10 million Combine troops, as well as the overall pathetic defeat in the 200-year Great META War of an intergalactic empire at the hands of a bunch of Earthlings with machine weaponry.

## Plandemic

The plague was released in 1 B.B (2019 in Earth years), roughly 2 months after the end of the Great META War, and began quickly infecting Chinese citizens, and soon spread across the world. The Combine-19 Virus ravaged the Earth, infecting millions of people across the globe. The Great MAGA King, then president of the United States, raced to develop a vaccine for the wretched virus. He dubbed this initiative 'Project Warp Speed', a name which the Brainrotter would adopt several years later for his Waifurian Armed International Forces of America (W.A.I.F.U.) recruitment initiative (A.K.A. kidnapping children in their sleep to be conscripted into the army).

The plague ravaged the planet from 1 B.B to 6 AB, when it eventually was controlled and relegated to a minor health risk. Only 10 million people died from the plague yearly by this point, so the Wretched Rotten Hideous Hagload deemed the pandemic 'over'. Despite this, the Combine-19 Virus remained on Earth and became a disease people just learned to live with, such as the flu or Hungarian Nanobug Jitters.
Chraunor

Chraunor , The Auror, was an Employer, and was responsible for managing the flow of time in the Omniverse. With the exceptions of the G-Men and the Legume, any entity caught breaking the rules of time would face judgement at the hands of Chraunor's Court of Time at the Edge of the Omniverse. Because time travel was so tempting, Chraunor spent much of his time in the Omniverse presiding over court hearings. The Court of Time had a 99.99% conviction rate.

### Akatosh

Chraunor was the Dragon King and the chief member of the Nine Divines. In his Draconic Incarnate, he was often referred to as Akatosh. Chraunor rarely appeared before mortals, and only did so in the most dire of circumstances.
Huddigar Comptroller

The Huddigar Comptroller was the ruler of the binary planet Huddigar Kroasis. The role was filled by a new creature every two weeks, as was Huddigarian Custom. The Huddigar Comptroller oversaw all 1500 creatures which lived across the two planets (the ammonia-rich gas giants were rather inhospitable to most life).
Legume

The Great Arranger

The Punisher of Lost Souls

The Legume was the center of all things. It was located on Ghetsin 3, in the Temple of Rannjoe, where it was guarded 55 hours a day by highly trained Pantorian Guards. It was purportedly uber-sentient. It sat on the throne for 44 hours of the day, the other 11 being spent with the Warshippers. Due to its supreme sentience and unassuming appearance, many have called it the ultimate deciever. However, the Legume exhibited only positive traits towards those studying it. The essence of the Legume, on the otherhand, has caused the death of trillions of beings across the Omniverse.

### Aubergine

The Legume had an archnemesis, the Aubergine. The Legume was the cradle of creation, while the Aubergine was the facilitator of destruction. Many speculate the Aubergine was created by an unknown entity to reduce the Legume's power. During the Biden Incident, this proved to have been a mistake.
John Tennessee

John Tennessee was an extraterrestrial business tycoon who primarily lobbied for the fossil fuel industry. After being raised by two lovely parents in a suburb on Nex Kroasis, John killed them, stole all of their property, and began illegally fracking in their backyard. After this, John went on to build massively successful companies on many planets, such as Inhersloht, Berrand, and, of course, Earth. When he first arrived on Earth with promises of 'infinite fracking', the braindead people of Appalaichia were so excited by this idea that they named a state after John (this being the state of Tennessee).
General Grievous

General

Grand General Grievous was a high-ranking general in the Combine army who presided over Mexico during its Combine occupation.

General Grievous was also the highest ranking known member of the Combine Invasion Force (with the second-highest being G-3301). With his lofty position and many accolades, grievous had no reason to rule Mexico, however, he had heard tales of a mysterious “$5 Chalupa Box” and was intrigued by its power. Grievous searched for ten years in the desert sun, but eventually came up empty handed.

Grievous also led the Combine Incursion of Waifuria Prime in 99 A.B., and almost succeeded in taking over the satellite. However, the Combine was Quelled when the Silent Man, Gordon Freeman, awoke from his aeons long slumber and vanquished the invaders. **The Grand General** was also killed during the incursion by Freeman in a rather grievous way.
Chupacabra

El Chupacabra, the “goat-sucker”, was the Scourge of Mexican livestock. The creature was vampiric in nature, and feasted on the blood of unlucky goats and cows in northwestern Mexico.

El Chupacabra ran for and won the Mexican Presidential Election in 40 B.B and 32 B.B, but was unfortunately disintegrated by a Bismuthine Atomizer dropped by the Combine army during their invasion of Mexico.

Nevertheless, it was said the ghost of El Chupacabra still prowled the Mexican plains, searching for unsuspecting animals… or people… to suck dry.
Noire

Noire (ノワール *Nowāru*) is a character from the Neptunia franchise. She represents the PlayStation 3 (released November 11, 2006 in Japan, November 17, 2006 in North America, and March 23, 2007 in the PAL regions).

She was born on December 3, 1977, and she debuted on December 3, 1994 at 17.

Her HDD form is Black Heart (ブラックハート *Burakku Hāto*).

Her Next Form is Next Black (ネクストブラック *Nekusuto Burakku*), which represents the PlayStation 4 (released on November 15, 2013 in North America, November 29, 2013 in the PAL regions, and February 22, 2014 in Japan).

Her New Form will be New Black (ニューブラック *Nyū Burakku*), which will represent the PlayStation 5 (release: November 12, 2020 in North America, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, and South Korea, November 20, 2020 in the rest of the world, TBA in China).

She has a younger sister, Uni.

She was 28 years old on November 11, 2006, when she became a goddess.

She was 35 years old on November 15, 2013, when Lastation shifted into the next generation.

She is voiced by Asami Imai (Japanese) and Erica Mendez (English). She was formerly voiced by Erin Fitzgerald (English).
A$AP KIDNEY $TONE

A$AP Kidney $tone, better known as Frederick Mulburton, was an acclaimed rapper and singer. He collaborated with Rick Hernia on numerous tracks, as well as having numerous high-profile affairs with Mexican Combine Officials during the Combine's reign over the North American Country. Several Adult Films were created featuring A$AP KIDNEY $TONE and combine soldiers such as Combine Assassins, Beta Combine Elites, and even one featuring a sensual experience with several Manhacks.
Ghetsin 4 Paradox

Once, the Factoid Wench entered an identity crisis when she found herself unable to procure a fact (she was looking for the information on the rumored but never seen planet, Ghetsin 4). No Factoids existed on the matter, which she was deeply upset by. If no Factoids existed either in confirmation or denial of Ghetsin 4, that meant that the Grand Ganymede Factoid Burrow had failed in its mission and was therefore useless.

The Factoid Wench, in her agony, began grieving this nonexistence conundrum, and procured a vial of Ghetsinian Fur Golem blood, with a wretched Hag scheme formulating.

### Cosmic Horrors Visit

In search of truths, she performed an ancient Pangean Ritual in an attempt to summon Akatosh, hoping to converse with the time lord about her predicament. Unfortunately, due to a misinput, she summoned the Cosmograph Pintelluce, a Horrid Cosmic beast from an alternate Universe.

The Beast began to nibble on Ganymede. Realizing her mistake, the Factoid Wench jumped into the maw of the beast, screaming, and activated a detonation spell, killing them both. The Factoid Burrow was then left unguarded, and was later blown to smithereens and erased from history by the Waifurian Empire.
Gorilla Z

Gorilla Z was a bioengineered replication of the Earth species of Primate, the Gorillas, which was developed by OmniStar Corp's Biogenics division in the waning days of the Omniverse. Gorilla Z was recreated from the long-dead animal using complex DNA Splicing techniques, resulting in a near-perfect revival of the animals which had been dead, by that point, for nearly 500,000 years. However, Gorilla Z soon developed her own consciousness while under supervision of OmniStar Corp Scientists, and broke out of their highly secure sheet-metal and plywood testing facility. From there, she hitched a ride on an Enclave transport, which was headed into battle at Kragrysil. She found herself thrust into an intergalactic war, but found comaraderie with the freedom fighters of the Worlds Without Boundaries reformed terrorist organization, and fought alongside them for the remainder of the war.
Exodus of Calgary

The Exodus of Calgary was a mass extinction event which took place in 44 A.B. when Calgary, Alberta ran out of Maple Syrup. Within hours, 66% of the Canadians living in this city became deceased due to maple syrup withdrawals. Those who survived fled and found new syrup plugs. Calgary was completely abandoned after this, as the event was too emotional for the Canadians to be reminded of.
7

7 was the older sister of 6 and a domestic terrorist. When 6 and 7 were just young girls, 7 ate and killed their older brother, 9. This led to an irreperable familial rift which permanently estranged 7 from the rest of the family.

In her old age, 7 bombed an Aeternan government surveillance building, leading to her arrest by the Magarrish Guard and subsequent death in a Magarrish Military Tribunal. She was thrown in a ditch and left to rot, and was feasted on by Strange Things.
Columbus, Ohio

Columbus, Ohio was a large metropolitan center and the capital of the North American nation of Ohio. It was one of the largest cities on the continent for several years, but suffered total destruction after the Bombing of Columbus and the use of the Nuclear Pumpkin on the city. It was additionally annihilated once again in the Second Bombing Of Columbus, rendering it one of the few cities ever to suffer a nuclear fallout twice in one century.
Grand Australian Spider Complex

The Grand Australian Spider Complex was a massive network of spiderwebs hosting various species of arachnids on Earth.

## Origins

The Grand Australian Spider began as a mere clump of spiders inhabiting a unnamed neckbeard’s Personal Computer. This PC was so unkempt that over the course of the neckbeard’s life, it developed a completely unique ecosystem with a level of biodiversity greater than the Amazon Rainforest.

## Death of the Neckbeard and Expansion

When the neckbeard died, the Dorito crumbs that sustained the ecosystem ceased to rain down on the denizens of the complex. This forced the lifeforms inside the PC, namely the spiders, to expand their territory in search of food. Feasting on the absolutely gluttonous corpse of the neckbeard that once gifted them life, the spiders multiplied rapidly. This exponential growth continued until roughly one third of the Australian island was covered. (Most Australians were unbothered by this, commonly stating that this was normal, for a Tuesday.)

## Biodiversity Scale

Within the Grand Australian Spider Complex, every single species of spider known to inhabit Earth 2, as well as a few previously unknown species, could be found. The Complex served as a beacon of hope for near-extinct species until it’s unfortunate demise, at the hands of the Almighty Brainrotten One.

## Waifurian Incursion

The Mummy and The Board of Waifuria declared the newly-dubbed Grand Australian Spider Complex a worldwide safety hazard and sent 20 Navy SEAL squadrons to invade the heart of the Complex to ensure it’s destruction. This would be come to known as the Waifurian Arachnid Factorium, as the Navy SEALs and the transports that brought them would all be devoured by the inhabitants of the Grand Australian Spider Complex.

## Discovery of the Legume Spider

Despite their death, the Navy SEALs did discover one major element of the Grand Australian Spider Complex. This was the Legume Spider, named after the energy it contained which seemed to be the same as the ancient Legumish energy pool consumed by the Mummy.

## Destruction via Spacetime Vortex

Following the formation of the Albuquerque Black Hole Cluster, and subsequent spacetime atrocity, the Downward Spiral, the Grand Australian Spider Complex was completely and utterly destroyed in the raging whirpool of fury created by the quantum gravitational fluctuations in and around Australia.
Gigamagnet

The Gigamagnet was a large military-grade hyperpolarized magnet which was used to win the Great META War. It was developed by Mister Nefarious and the science team at Black Mesa.

When finished, the magnet was roughly the size of a small personal pizza. However, the invention could extend out to over 5 million times its size, covering a large portion of North America. Mister Nefarious used this magnet to remove all Combine forces from North America (and later, the rest of the world). The Combine forces were all frozen to death in space and shot out into the cosmos at lightspeed. The Combine Death toll from this incident alone likely weighed in at roughly 10 million deceased. The Gigamagnet collided with Neptune's moon Triton, the location of the Combine's Polus Base, and sent the moon careening out into the cosmos.
Amoris

Amoris was the planet of Love, and was ruled by the hideous god of beauty, Zha Toh. It was a popular tourist attraction for couples (or people who wanted to make someone love them), since the air was filled with a deadly neurotoxin which, while shortening the victim's lifespan, created intense lustful, romantic feelings towards anyone or anything that touched them. This toxic was known as Killjoy.

Many a smelly man traveled to Amoris, but found that not even the brainrotten citizens of this planet, where love was literally in the air, could fathom being in a relationship with someone who didn't shower regularly.

It's really not that hard.

## Sea of Love

The Sea of Love was a large, pink body of liquid which comprised much of the northern hemisphere of Amoris. The liquid was incredibly acidic and deadly to the touch, yet many people sought to take canoes or speedboats out into the sea. The vessels were comprised of enchanted starmetal, which was the only material strong enough to resist the voracious appetite of the Sea of Love.

Roughly 1300 tourists died each year on Amoris (roughly .5 Earth year). 800 of these were usually deaths from trying to swim in the Sea of Love, an activity which was lethal.
J.F. Sweets

J.F. Sweets (James Fargo Sweets) was a massive mega-conglomerate which operated under the facade of being an ice cream and candy company. In reality, J.F. Sweets was the largest lobbying group in the history of the Omniverse. For the 20 years leading up to the creation of the Waifurian Empire, J.F. Sweets was influencing upwards of 80% of politicians globally. Their primary interests included turning a profit and committing heinous human rights violations. It’s thought J.F. Sweets CEO and founder James Fargo was the primary agent behind Joe Biden’s rotten Aftertimes Initiative.
Febrariums

The Febrariums, sometimes referred to by the phrase "You have no idea what is coming in February", were a series of events which were predicted to occur in Reality 12 in February of 3 AB (Reality 12 Time- 2023 CE). The Febrariums were foretold by the I, and written into the Multiversal Scroll of Time, and thus, came to pass in one way or another- much to the displeasure of the denizens of Reality 12. They may take some decoding, but a well-versed Omniverse Scholar should be able to figure out their meanings.

Februarium Line A - Arrest of Donald J. Trump / Amazon Rainforest Mysterium / Andrew Tate Found Dead

Februarium Line B - Ukraine Factorium / Random Chicago Event

Febrarium Line C - Great Floods In The West / United Kingdom Erosion

Febrarium Line E - Snow Ice Plague / Nuclear Detonation / North Korea attacks US Navy

Febrarium Line F - COMBINE-19 NEW VARIANT / Texas Event / Death of G.

Febrarium Line G - Unforeseen Consequences to 2017, 2018, 2020, and 2021...
Ick Bus Seminar City

Ick Bus seminar city was a city located off the coast of eastern maine. In this city, there was only one person. This man went by the name of Ick Bus Semniar. And he was named after Ig Bus. When he had a good day, things went well in thast city. When he had a bad day... well... im really not at libary to say.
Guest A

Specimen A

Guest A was a member of the Guest Family of Horrors. It was the first discovered of the group, being found in 95 BB, with ectologist and researcher of the Guest Family Shelby L. Barnes writing;

### June 5, 1955

I have observed a curious creature in the forest near the laboratory. At first, my fellow researchers and I were apprehensive towards it- but it eventually proved to mean us no harm. A large, humanoid creature, we have named it our 'Guest'. I must admit in all of my studies of Earth, Combine, and Xen life, I've never observed something quite like Guest A.

### June 7, 1955

Guest A exhibits a most docile tendency. A creature of gentle beauty, Guest A, despite its dastardly appearance, harbors a sense of empathy for all life it encounters. Guest was observed playing with an ant hill, and providing the insects with a block of unknown meat, which it then sat near the anthill. Guest A squatted down and watched the ants feast, waiting until the block was nearly gone before turning and dissappearing into the dark woods.

I do wonder what manner of creature the Guest is. Doctor Hyde thinks it may be of another world entirely; I do not refute these claims; but there is something inherently organic about the Guest.... something I feel unable to point out. I may be mistaken, but I do believe the Guest is a native of our world, just like humans.

### June 8, 1955

I awoke this morning to a startling sight- Guest A was perched outside of my windowsill, watching me. Doctor Hyde thought that I should shoot the creature down; but I insisted, it was probably curious of me; and was simply observing. I insisted to Doctor Hyde that it meant us no harm; to prove my point, I opened the window. Guest A stayed perched there for a moment, before slowly taking a step into my bedroom. At this point, Doctor Hyde left the room, screaming profanities about how I was 'going to get myself killed'. But I could sense the emotions of Guest A, in a strange sort of way; I felt it meant no harm.

And indeed, Guest A and I stood in total silence for several moments. It stared down into my eyes, unblinking, its huge gaping eye sockets were like black pits on a moon. After, say, twenty minutes, it reached its appendage into the air, and appeared to wave at me, a gesture which I returned with a smile. It 'smiled' back, but then it heard footsteps storming up the stairs; and scurried out the window, back into the comfortable darkness of the forest.

When Doctor Hyde slammed open the door, I was expecting him to have brought a weapon of some kind. However, I was surprised to see him standing there, his coat tattered, blood coating his face, and gashes down his arms.

"There's another one.", he said. From the look of abject horror on his face, I deduced that our Friend Guest A may have been the exception to the rule; that is to say; if it had brethren, perhaps they were not as kind and docile as it was.
James L. Fuck

James L. Fuck was a Canadian politician who served as the Chairman of the Board of Waifuria from 44 BB until 16 BB. In the time of the Waifurian Empire, he acted as Grand Justice of the Grand Court, as well as Minister of Speech, deciding which words would result in death penalties in the Grand New Empire. He died in 23 AB when he was shot in the head.
!! IMPORTANT !!

## Important Information

This article highlights some important imformation in order for you to gain a better understanding of the Rick Hernia Omniverse.

### Omniversal Year System

Rick Hernia's universe is measured in a different year system than our own (Reality 12) For this Wiki, please remember the following:

B.B. = Before BA$EDGOD

A.B. = After BA$EDGOD

2020 A.D (B.C.E) = 0 A.B

So, for instance, January 20th, 2021, would be January 20th, 1 A.B

April 14, 1989 would be April 14, 31 B.B

### Mentions of Death, Illness, etc.

We would like to warn you ahead of time that many of the events in the Rick Hernia Omniverse Wiki may be percieved as vulgar or gruesome to some viewers. Discretion is advised.

### Disclaimer

The Rick Hernia Omniverse Wiki is intended to be enjoyed as a satirical work of fiction. By no means does the Wiki or any editor intend to defame, insult, or otherwise harm any current or past individual or entity. The Wiki was created as a hub for joking amongst friends, to make each other laugh. Please remember this as you adventure into the Omniverse. We hope you find some joy or humor in what we've built on this page. If not, that's okay, but we ask that you be respectful to our editors and the countless hours they've put into this project.

Lovingly,

G-3300
America Aeterna

America Aeterna was the long-lived, polytheistic empire which ruled North America for several thousand years. America Aeterna was ruled for millenia by the Great God Emperor, the MAGA King, and his loyal soul-tethered cryptoid (and Vice Emperor) Mike Pence.

America Aeterna was founded by the Great MAGA King in the early days of civilization. The empire prospered under the watchful gaze of the ever-growing Trump Tower. A city was built around the important religious monument, the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid (Instance I). This city would become known as Washington, D.C.

## Final Days of America Aeterna

In 240 B.B, the Employers directed the Great MAGA King to begin the Destruction of Earth. Despite his reservations, the Maga King Obliged, and Alduin the Dragon Lord arrived to assist in the process. Mike Pence committed the highest betrayal by attempting to resist this destruction, and was impaled on the Washington Monument as punishment.

After Earth was destroyed, Aldiun was encased in Nirn and flung off into space. Trump rebuilt Earth, creating the Earth 2. Trump then fell into a deep coma. With both of the American figureheads gone, America Aeterna collapsed, and the United States soon began a rapid westward expansion initiative, swallowing up American cities and civilizations and often simply burning them down and/or killing everyone inside in the name of 'freedom'.
Jezebel

Jezebel was a vortiguant who served as the President of the Lunar Alliance. She was also (for a time) married to Keith Cumshoes. During the Great META War, Jezebel grew, as a commission to the United States Government, a nuclear pumpkin. This was later used to kill all of her children. **Jezebel** resided in Columbus, Ohio, until the Bombing occurred and she elected to relocate to Earth's Moon. Keith Cumshoes dumped her, but later claimed the split had been amicable. She gave birth to trillions of children during their time together; unfortunately, all died shortly after birth due to the aforementioned bombing. Jezebel became politically active during this time and ran for local lunar government in 18 B.B., and becoming president of the Lunar Alliance in 10 B.B. until her death in 4 A.B.
Church of Virgins

The Church of Virgins was a religious institution of celibate incels who believed sex was a sin against the great Fortnite Cube. They were often described as being one of the most destructive cults ever to grace the surface of Planet Earth, and were highly responsible for the moral degradation of society.

### Scriptures

The Holy Virgin Scripture states that, "A true man never bathes, and a good man cares not for his physical health." Because of this, 93% of the Church's members were morbidly obese. The Church's main ideology was founded on the idea that sex was wrong, and should never be attempted in any capacity. The Church on several occassions suggested a mass castration of the entire planet as a solution to "too much sex".

### Rivalry with the Lunar Sexbots

The ideals of the Church of Virgins, of course, put them at war with the Lunar Sexbots. The Lunar Sexbots began methodically tracking down high-profile members of the Church of Virgins and slipping condoms and pineapple juice into their pockets. Eventually, the Lunar Sexbots crossed a line when they assassinated the Virgin Pope.

### Dissolution of the Church

After the Pope's Assassination, many of the Church's members began questioning the authority and accuracy of the preachings of the Fortnite Cube. The Church's enrollment fell 50% in the year after this. Many of those who left fell into romantic relationships and began having a great deal of sexual intercourse. They also began bathing. Many of the Church's members traveled to Earth's Moon to learn how to have sex from the Lunar Sexbots, who were more than willing to train them in the craft.

With each member who left the Church, the Fortnite Cube became smaller and weaker, until one day, a woman accidentally stepped on and killed the Cube.
Barack Obamna

Barack 'Soda' Obamna was the 44th President of the United States, reigning from 11 B.B. to 3 B.B. Obamna was notable for drone striking innocent civilians across the world. After retiring from the presidency, Obamna moved to the Mummyplex, where he spent the rest of his days worshipping God Emperor Biden.
George W. Bush

George W. Bush, known in private circles as "Hank", was the 43rd United States President, serving from 19 BB to 11 BB. He was preceded by Bill Clinton and succeeded by Barack Obamna. He was also the eldest son of former US President George H.W. Bush.

## Notable Accomplishments

Here is an itemized list of some of President Bush's grandest accomplishments.

-Bombing Syria

-Bombing Iraq

-Destabilizing the Middle East

-Bombing Iraq again

-Bombing Yemen

-Bombing Libya

-The Great Recession

-Almost beheaded by Shoe
Bite of '87

The Bite of ‘87 was a cataclysmic mass extinction event which occurred on Nex Kroasis and across the Omniverse in 87 B.B.

## Heart of Kroasis

The Bwemer had murdered the Old God Kroasis, and his sundered corpse has formed the Kroasis system. The planet Nex Kroasis, which was created from the celestial being’s heart, had ironically been subject to  Bwemer colonization, eventually becoming the Bwemer surrogate homeworld, after leaving Vim.

The Bwemer were, unfortunately, major polluters. They had severely damaged the atmosphere of Vim, and they had quickly began polluting the atmosphere of Nex Kroasis with Redstone gas.

Seeing this further desecration of his brother’s corpse, Leosis, god of planets and moons, became infuriated. He traveled to Nex Kroasis in a mortal form, claiming to be a messenger from the gods and demanding the Bwemer leave Nex Kroasis at once.

The Bwemer killed this mortal form.

## Extinction of the Bwemer

Leosis was secretly gleeful at this, as he felt this justified his next action. Leosis traveled to Nex Kroasis in his Celestial form (roughly 5x the size of Jupiter). He bent over the planet and carefully bit off the Bwemer capital city of Marrin. He then licked every Bwemer off of the surface. When he had finished with Nex Kroasis, he traveled through the rest of the Omniverse, careful to eat every last Bwemer (and only Bwemer). When the day was done, Leosis relaxed. He felt justice had been done.

## Damnation of Leosis

The Author was rather annoyed at Leosis for this interference with the course of time, but neglected to undo his son’s actions. The Author sentenced him to one hundred years of damnation on Pluto.

## Planetary Pizzeria

Leosis started a restaurant here, known as the Planetary Pizzeria. He crafted delicious highly detailed miniature planets out of chocolate for his guests, and even named his Xen crystal pizza the “Bite of ‘87”. When guests asked what this meant, he happily recounted the tale of his Grand Bwemer Factorium.

## Unforeseen Consequences

With the Bwemer gone, the Combine had no equal adversary left in the Omniverse. Thus began the age of Combine Expansion, Culminating in the 200-year Great META War, after which Combine expansion would stagnate and the Waifurian Empire would begin expanding in their place.

Had Leosis not eaten the Bwemer, the Omniverse would not have ended prematurely. The Combine would have remained Quelled, The Great META War would never have happened, and the Mummy would have remained a harmless, powerless, unimportant Wolf Man for all eternity.
Crabtaclysm

The Crabtaclysm was an anomalous event that occurred in October of 2 AB, in which all crabs and other crustaceans on the surface of Earth 2 mysteriously disappeared.

## Causes

It is unknown what exactly caused the Crabtaclysm, but several major theories have been debated among Omniversal Scholars. \

### Downwardium Theoronia

The first suspected cause is the Downward Spiral. Given the short time discrepancy, it was a reasonable assumption to make; as a massive spacetime vortex would be indeed capable of instigating such a crablamity. Despite this, later research showed that animals actually adapted very quickly to the appearance of the Downward Spiral, with some even developing the skill of Spiralic circumnavigation, so it is unlikely that the Downward Spiral caused the Crabtaclysm.

### Timefractium Theoronia

The second suspected cause is G-Man (Timefracture Alpha). Shortly after the Crabtaclysm occurred, G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) posted to his instagram account mr.gman.in.the.flesh about his distaste for the creatures, declaring them to be “grotesque animals” and stating “whatever happened to those fucks, they deserved it”. The phrasing from the G-Man’s response seems to point to him being also oblivious to the Crabtaclysm’s true cause; however it would not be unlike him to nudge such an event into existence (and then fake naivety in order to throw off suspicions).

### Improbabillium Theoronia

The third suspected cause is the Improbability Drive. Given the anomalous and very extreme consequences of the activation of the Improbability Drive, it is not out of the question that Director Phobos’ magnum opus could very well be responsible for the mass extinction event. Further supporting this theory is the fact that Phobos’ science team at Black Mesa was very frequently testing the device at the time, although it seemed to bring back no apparent results.

## Consequences

As a result of the disappearance of all crustaceans on the planet, the ecosystem in the oceans and seas experienced a Downward Spiral of their own. Over time, the carcasses of larger organisms in the ocean began to pile up as a result of the lack of decomposers, until eventually 1/3rd of the planet’s surface water contained some form of corpse within it.

Regardless of whatever caused this incident, the consequences of it did nothing positive when it came to the future turmoils of the seafood industry.
Hollol Earth

The Hollol Earth was a Frigmuntarium Microdimension (Reality 11.45) inhabited by a LED lamp, a bluebird tied up inside of a rotten cateloupe, and a glass Orb. As well as a sign denotign the location of 'Hollol Earth'. The Bird was grandoidal, of course, but suffered permanent pains. The bird was namedd Hollol. Hollol.

Wappel.

Wappel.

Get my balls. i wanr Twink. Twink Twinl. STwissler.
Benjamin Afton

Redirect to:

* Foo (disambiguation)

Benjamin Afton was a Philadelphia Soccer Coach and recovered Pennsylvania Mad Man who served as the Chief Operative Officer of the London War Crime Emporium, for obvious reasons. He became embroiled in a scandal in 3 AB when the London War Crime Emporium was attacked by an anti-Waifurian rebel group. In response, Afton sitched the Animatronics on thousands of innocent civilians, with the stated goal of eradication of the rebel group, (which was comprised of about 400 people). The leaders of this group were in nearby Rotterdam. Knowing this, Afton elected to continue indiscriminant killings of London's innocent men, women, and children, earning him the nickname 'the Man Behind the Slaughter'. The operation was solely and completely funded and made possible by Joe Biden and the North American Overlorddom.
Bombing of Columbus 2

The Second Bombing of Columbus was a large-scale nuclear tragedy which occurred, again, in Columbus, Ohio, roughly 24 years after the first Bombing.

After the Pennsylvania Mad Men had successfully repelled the attacks of the North American Overlorddom, a rotten decision was made by the Overlord to deploy the top-secret Nuclear Pumpkin 2. This Pumpkin had been engineered in the Black Mesa Research Facility to deal maximum damage on beings while totally preserving matter. It was the most powerful bomb ever constructed on Earth at that point.

### Ohio Grand Calamity

The Grand Ohioan Calamity ensued. The Pumpkin was dropped, yet again, on Columbus Ohio, for old times sake. The Nuclear Pumpkin 2 decimated every single living thing in Ohio, turning the place into a desolate nuclear wasteland. The Pennsylvania Mad Men were all slaughtered. Ohio was stripped of its sovereignty and, by 10 AB, was made an official part of the Waifurian Empire.
Gerald H.

Cause of Death

Gerald, or Gerald H, was the preschool best friend of Keith Cumshoes. The two were raised together, living across the street from one another. Gerald attended West Valley Central School.

## Road Trip From Hell

In 189 BB, Keith's Dad, G-Man, invited Gerald to join the family on a road trip. Gerald's parents were hesitant at first, but after speaking with Keith's mother, 6, they felt more at ease about the prospect, and allowed Gerald to join the family getaway.
So the group was off, headed southward.

The trip went relatively well, until G-Man suddenly swerved the family minivan off the road and into a ditch. G-Man got out of the car and stood motionless in the middle of the highway, reciting ancient Xennish incantations as his eyes lit up with white energy. Keith and Gerald were terrified by this, and 6 covered their eyes, not wanting them to see her husband's bizarre behavior.

A Semi-truck, barrelling down the highway at just over the speed limit, was unable (or unwilling) to stop in time to avoid hitting G-Man; but when the truck hit him, it crumpled like a tin can, while G-Man remained standing motionless, mumbling about the "return of the Grand Nihilanth".

G-Man, light fading from his eyes, then turned to 6, and calmly explained that his "Employers" required him to "tie his loose ends up".

G-Man then turned to Gerald H. and vaporized the poor boy on the spot. He then turned back to the car and calmly buckled his seat belt, continuing on as if nothing had happened.

This was deeply traumatic for Keith Cumshoes, and may have been the primary reason why any discussion of his childhood sent him into a manic frenzy.
Gordon Freeman

Gordon Freeman, in the flesh, or rather, in the hazard suit, was a freedom fighter and genius scientist who worked at the Black Mesa Research Facility in the American Southwest.

### Science Career

At Black Mesa, Gordon with the world’s foremost experts in radiation and particle sciences, studying captured Combine materials and creatures from the Great META War.  They used Xen crystals to create anti-Combine weaponry, which would prove decisive. Gordon Freeman also assisted in the Construction of the Gigamagnet, which was used to vanquish the Combine from Earth permanently.

### Stasis

In 0 A.B, Gordon Freeman became the subject of a revolutionary stasis experiment at the Black Mesa Research Facility. He was inundated and put into a medically-induced coma, and placed into a stasis chamber. The experiment, ultimately a success, was prolonged beyond the initial 3 week test period when Gordon exhibited no negative affects whatsoever from the Coma.
Inhersloht

Located in the Andromeda Galaxy, Inersloht was the home planet of the Inherslohtians, more commonly known as Crewmates by the rest of the Omniverse due to their peculiar efficiency on starships. Inersloht was one of the major planets held by the Combine. It supplied a large portion of the Combine Empire’s non-enslaved workforce.

The planet was one of the last to survive in the Omniverse’s final years, but was unfortunately destroyed due to unforeseen consequences of the Auditor's conquest of its moon, Kragdrysil.
Expurgator

The Expurgator is a member of The Employer's own race, that being the Outervoidians, who was created to act as an advisor to and defender of The I's will. The Expurgator is often considered the "right hand man" of The I, and as such is incredibly more powerful than most Outervoidians, including The Employers themselves.

### Appearance

Like all Outervoidians, The Expurgator controls its outward appearance when interacting with beings below it's own dimensional status. The Expurgator most often chooses to dress in flowing black robes and a white face mask under which it is presumed it's true face resides. Outervoidal energies, more commonly known as Employeric energies, seem to follow The Expurgator everywhere it goes. This is likely a result of The Expurgator being unable to restrain it’s own power from leaking out into the space of lesser dimensions.

### Duties

As the closest advisor to The I, The Expurgator is often the only being capable of transferring its message to lower-lever beings. The Expurgator also takes part in quelling anything that could feasibly interfere with the plans of The I or the Outervoidians. It should be noted that The Expurgator is most commonly seen assisting The Employers given that they suck at their jobs, be it the Omniverse or the Multiverse.
China-Mars Conflict

The China-Mars Conflict of 2 B.B. was a large-scale interplanetary war between the Martian Correlation and China. Heavily involving Elon Tusk and the glorious Glop Bulb, it involved various violent Reddit account hackings, culminating in the destruction of the Martian capital city of Rhubarb and the relocation of the Martian people to Earth's Moon.
Las Vegas Invasion

One of the first major battles in the Great META War was the Invasion of Las Vegas, in which Combine Admiral Amonger’s strategy was to block inter-orbit trade from reaching the city. This proved highly successful, to which Amonger ordered a day of light orbital bombardment of the city as celebration. Once the bombardment had finished, ODST squadrons were dropped to occupy the city’s casinos. The city was soon reclaimed by M.T.O. Forces, but Amonger and the Combine had made off with the city’s entire supply of revenue which was found inside the casinos’ gambling machines.
Ig Bus Campaign Service

The Ig bus campaign service was a grnad service supplied by old men in Washignton state wuith horrible consequences for the racoon population. it was a service conjured by a big cock cabbage bottle and lerry.

When we visit the Cock of my Wendding , We held out hjadns deeplyt out side of the big bad bus becuase the Ig Bus weas coming. Feare edamong scholars, the Ig Bus was a horrible thing that harvested rsacoons and was drivin by elderly men who had nothing better to do. It freqwuenltly picked up roadkicll and was a public health risk due to all the dead thingsw on bourd.
Hades

Hades was a god of nothing. he was fired from his position as God of Death after he was caught sleeping with an intern in 4 Million BB. His Vice God of Death, Pluto, was appointed to his position. Hades hence took to drinking Coca-Cola and other assorted carbonated beverages and generally doing nothing besides sleeping and playing videogames.
Bilbamesh

Bilbamesh was a Mesopotamian adventurer and war hero, responsible for the liberation of Mesopotamia from Holy Romaine rule and murder of Charlesmagne. Bilbamesh was frequently at odds with the ancient kingdom of Babylon. In fact, Bilbamesh coveted Babylon's lands, and sought to rename Hammurabi's kingdom after himself; declaring it 'Bilbalon'. Bilbamesh became a near mythological figure after his sudden dissapearance in 1427 BB (After the Rotter's ascendance to the Byzantine Throne). His remains were never found; however it may be interesting to note that the final sighting of Bilbamesh occurred outside of a Byzantine Glue Mill in western Anatolia. The Mummy was also present. Great mysteries as to whatever happened to Bilbamesh.
Gustavo Fring

Gustavo Fring was a businessman and Combine Cartel associate who operated in the greater Albuquerque, New Mexico area. With the help of Mike Ehrmantraut, his right-finger man, Gus became the most powerful chicken and methamphetamine distributor in North America. His franchises later spread to the outer reaches of the Omniverse, with the help of his business partner and love interest, G-Man (Timefracture Alpha).

## Early Life

Gus started out as a methamphetamine dealer in South America. Working with his boyfriend, Max, Gus perfected a system of distribution and manufacture which rivaled even the Combine Cartel. They took notice, and summoned him to the Some time around 40 BB, he traveled North, where he met with the cartel's head honcho, Don Fellacio. Here, Don Fellacio's associates murdered Max in cold blood. This birthed in Gus a lifelong hatred of the Combine, and he would begin to work tirelessly to plot his revenge on the Combine Cartel.

## Los Pollos Hermanos

Gus and Max had created a Fried Chicken Business, Los Pollos Hermanos, which they used as a front to distribute illegal drugs, such as cocaine and methamphetamine. This chain became incredibly successful, branching out across the American Southwest.

In 2 BB, after the downfall of the chicken smuggler, Uncle Dick,at the hands of Hank Schrader, Gus became the premiere source of illegal chicken trades, as well. Gus used the methamphetamine business as a front for this chicken smuggling business, forming a three-layered business sandwich that Mike Ehrmantraut referred to as the 'triple Entente'.

## Learn to Love Again

In 2 AB, G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) arrived at the doors of Los Pollos Hermanos. After stating his insatiable appetite for fried chicken, and telling Gus his was the 'fairest in all the lands' The G-Man proposed to Gus an ambitious plan of intergalactic expansion. Gus was astounded when G-Man Alpha informed him that a new Los Pollos Hermanos Restaurant could be ready on Garraxia within one Earth day. The two arranged to open this restaurant, and also began developing romantic feelings for one another.

## Unforeseen Consequences

By 5 AB, the two were married, had fathered a child, Xebus Fring, and were making arrangements to purchase a house together in Malibu. These plans were all soured, of course, When Gus attempted to excecute ASAC Hank Schrader and was subsequently vaporized by Allmother Marie.

G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) became deeply enraged by this, but vowed to continue his late husband's legacy, spreading Los Pollos Hermanos from Waifuria Prime to the Restaurant at the End of the Omniverse.
Justinian Trudeau

Scourge of Maplechuds

Justinian Trudeau was a pan-continental politician who served, in seperate terms, first as the Emperor of the Byzantine Empire from 1538 BB to 1455 BB, and later as Prime Minister of Canada from 5 BB to 7 AB. His latter rule came to an end during the Decepticon Invasion of Ottawa, Canada, where he was forcefully ousted from power by Magatron.
Charlie Balls

Charlie Balls was an Australian man residing in the Lismore, New South Wales area. He lived inside of the local Bunnings General Store, where his entire diet was comprised of woodchips and Bunnings Hot Dogs.

Charlie Balls was born and raised by his mother, May, and grandfather, Bluck. The three lived in the walls of the store, coming out at night to feast on the garbage left out by cleaners. Charlie Balls' diet was one of the most sustainable of all time, with him naturally living to the ripe old age of one hundred and thirty.

Charles "Chuck" Balls was infected with hideous disease which rendered him constantly defecating, which ultimately led to him being apprehended by the New South Wales Police force, when they followed a trail of shit into the northwestern wall. The Police also arrested Charles' mother and grandfather, the latter of whom died instantly when exposed to the harsh Australian sunlight.

Charles and May were let go with a warning, and were told that they could go anywhere they wanted, as long as it was not a Bunnings store.

The two agreed to this deal. Can you guess where they immediately went after being let go by the police?

Charlie Balls escaped police capture. His mother was much less fortunate. She suffered the death sentence for her crimes. Charlie was now on the run across Australia.

Dear reader, the year was 1 AB. Do you know what happened in Australia in 1 AB?

He died in it.
Celery Gangstalker

### Soliloquy

The Celery Gangstalker was a stalker who stalked stalks of celery. He started stalking celery when someone said celery smelled sickly, something which stalled the ticklish temper of the strict celery stickler Celery Gangstalker. The Scourge of Celery Salesmen, as some said he was called, scoured the celery sellers of several cities and states, stealing and severing several celery stalks septennially. A Celery Soliloquy, smitten with steaming celery imagery and a small teal seal, and smited by the Seaside Seal Seal, Seymore, was discovered somewhere in the residence of the Celery Gangstalker. The Celery Secretary sent six secret service operatives to stop Sir Celery from securing stolen stalks of celery.

### Skyrocketing Celery Salary and Suspension by Stalk

The celery salary of celery farmers skyrocketed stupendously some time after the Celery Gangstalker was sussed out by the six secret service agents and subsequently suspended posthumously in a surruptitious state from a single celery stalk in Sicily. Several celery saleman said, smiling, "our celery salary is safe!"