Courtney/Quotes

## The Job

> Welcome, mortals!
>
> - Courtney’s first words

> You two must be the offerings, I didn't know there'd be a choice.
>
>

> You can't stop Temeluchus, he's already dead. The only way to stop him is to... KILL THE DOG!
>
> - To Norma

## The Tunnel

> This is stuff all the old Dead End employees had on them when they die- (*chuckles nervously*) Di- uh- disappeared! Mysteriously.
>
> - To Norma

> We'll be the b-best of f-friends! Just don't touch my dead fly collection. OR my alive fly collection. OR my stamps.
>
> - To Barney

> Oh boy! You're still in that dog, Your Majesty! Just a shred- but that's good enough for me. I'm going home!
>
>

## Trust Me

> You're a wizard Pugsley!- To Pugsley
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> I always bring a skull to a party
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>

## Night of the Living Kids

> Oh come on Pugsley, its just one eye. Who needs both eyes anyway? I mean, theyre not even making 3D movies anymore.
>
>

> Hmm.. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul..... Be right back.
>
>

> Hey, have any of you guys seen an alive dog? About yea-high, cartoony looking... Smells like dumpster pizza?
>
>

> You mind if I make a minor incision in your cornea?
>
> To Pugsley

## Norma Khan: Paranormal Detective

> I started talking to myself, and man, I'm **so** rude!
>
>

## Take the Angels Bowling

> Please. Leave it to the pros.
>
> - To Pugsley

> Ew, ew, ew! Oh, it’s like a slug made of sand paper, and it’s on my head!
>
>

> Can’t keep roaches out of New York, rats out of London, or demons out of Phoenix Parks. It’s just a fact.
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> I’ve watched this thing for an eternity. What’s one more night?
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> Nothing’s coming out of this baby on my watch, I promise you.
>
> - To Barney, Norma, and Pugsley

> Go score those bowls. Win those pins! Strike those… *(sighs)* I don’t know what bowling is.
>
>

> *(tiredly)*You’re a good guy now, Courtney. Good guys finish… **AWAKE**! Stay… awake…
>
> - To herself

> No, no, no. Not you! Don’t take me! Ah, leave me alone!
>
> - To Fingers

> Ugh! Useless!
>
> - To Pugsley

> "Showing up"? I get it. I’ll save the day on my own, like usual.
>
> - To Barney

> It’s not a demon. It’s a… monster. Let’s just kill it and pretend we never saw it. Okay?
>
>

> You slapped it in the face!
>
> - To Norma

> Shackle me, punish me, do whatever, just don’t hurt my friends, okay?
>
> - To Fingers

> Oh. See, they um, uh… fell off in the shower.
>
> - To Fingers

> Ugh, fine, we can keep you.
>
> - To Gord

## Evil Twins Are People Too

> The Realm of Eternal Sneezing is way more annoying.
>
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> Yeah, fun and easy, what’s better than that?
>
> - To Fingers

> So? You said you loved me when I found you that pretzel.
>
> - To Barney

> Why fake it? I’ll get the axe.
>
> - To Barney

> I have assimilated. I’ve been really good ever since I saved the world. No worries. You’re welcome.
>
> - To Alternate Courtney

> Ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. All I know is that I don’t need your help. You think you can solve everyone’s problems, but you **can’t**.
>
> - To Alternate Courtney

> All I cared about was getting home, but then I got there. Everything I wanted, and I still felt lost.
>
> - To Demons

> I don’t have any guilt. I don’t even remember what got me banished in the first place. Oh, what could be so bad about me that they can’t even let me know?
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> Nope, I’m closed. Shut down, out of service. Goodbye.
>
> - To Demons

> I’m not ashamed of being a demon, and I’m gonna solve this the demon way.
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>

> Ugh. Because I am a demon.
>
> - To Alternate Courtney

## The Trials of Barney

> I got my first DWF card when I was only one hundred and nine. A rare, first edition, holographic Grogan.
>
>

> Norma, it’s a shiny Grogan. Look, shiny!
>
>

> Oh, I don’t know, not touch stuff that doesn’t belong to you!
>
> - To Norma

## My Super Sweet 1600

> Ah, Bathmos. *(inhales)* Breathe in that sulfur-sea air!
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> *(scoffs)* Bathmos ain’t nothing to be scared of. It’s mostly just vampires, werewolves, mummies, certain creatures from certain famous lagoons.
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> I’m one-in-a-million, baby. This charm right here is patented.
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> Fingers really sent us to bust up a sweet sixteen?
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> I’m not a traitor, I’m one of you! I’m just… doing a job!
>
> - To Zagan

> Seriously? I count, like, fourteen violations in this room alone.
>
> - To Zagan

> Why would I be scared of something that sleeps in a big oven mitt?
>
> - To Pugsley

> Hey, hey, hey! Portals are strictly forbidden! All travel between planes must be taken through official elevators.
>
> - To Demons

> What kind of demon am **I**? I’ll show you what kind of demon I am!
>
>

> Where did the Blue Me looking guy go?
>
> - To Demons

> You don’t understand, I’ve never seen a demon with horns like mine. Maybe they’ll know where I’m from. I gotta find them!
>
> - To Demons

> Hello? Blue?
>
>

> Uh, "maraca"?
>
> - To The Watcher

## Going Up

> To the cafeteria! Sandwich time!
>
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> No! It doesn't matter who I am-demon, angel, all I know is that I have friends out there and they need my help!
>
> - To Danny

> Dogs always land on their feet right?
>
> - To Pugsley