Ash, Alex and The Dragon & Other Stories

**Ash, Alex and The Dragon & Other Stories** is an Ash & Friends spoof to the 1993 Thomas & Friends video entitled: Thomas, Percy and The Dragon & Other Stories. It is composed of four Season 2 episodes and three Season 3 episodes narrated by the late George Carlin for the US.

## Description

Boo!!! Have you ever had something scare you? On the magical land of YTV, even the bravest of characters sometimes get scared. Why take Alexander "Alex" O'Connell - - he said that he's not scared of anything. What do you think? Help Ash use the water Chinese Dragon Gyarados to play a little joke on Alex. Watch what happens when Raimundo lands in an embarrassing situation, Ozzy and Drix come to Shaggy's rescue, some silly Beedrill cause trouble and confusion for Bumpty and Raphael, and Kevin Keene proves that, even though he's old, he's still really useful.

So make sure you're "Right on Time" for the next journey through the magical YTV world - with Ash the Pokémon Trainer & Friends Volume 8!

## Cast

1. Ash Ketchum as Thomas (Veronica Taylor)
2. Kevin Keene as Edward (Matt Hill)
3. Shaggy Rogers as Henry (Matthew Lillard)
4. Terry McGinnis as Gordon (Will Friedle)
5. Raimundo Pedrosa as James (Tom Kenny)
6. Alexander "Alex" O'Connell as Percy (Chris Marquette)
7. Jackie Chan as Toby (James Sie)
8. Virgil Hawkins as Duck (Phil LaMarr)
9. Ozzy Jones as Donald (Phil LaMarr)
10. Drix Koldriliff as Douglas (Jeff Bennett)
11. Bumpty The Penguin as Bill (Brianne Siddall)
12. Raphael The Raven as Ben (Phil LaMarr)
13. Donkey Kong as BoCo (Richard Yearwood)
14. Steven Ketchum as Sir Topham Hatt (Dan Green)
15. A Gyarados as The Chinese Dragon
16. Arcanine as Coaches
17. Beedrill as Troublesome Trucks
18. Princess Kitana as Henrietta (Cree Summer)
19. Sonic The Hedgehog as Bertie (Jason Griffith)
20. Wilhelmina Ketchum as Lady Hatt (Amy Birnbaum)
21. Ken of the Pokemon Mystery Club as Diesel (Marc Thompson)
22. Suzy as Annie (Megan Hollingshead)
23. Pietra as Clarabel (Carol Jacobanis)

## Episodes

1. Ash, Alex and The Dragon
2. The Deputation
3. Sonic's Chase
4. Time For Trouble
5. A Scarf For Alex
6. The Kongsel
7. Kevin's Exploit

## Transcript

### Ash, Alex and The Dragon

* George Carlin: Ash and Alex are good friends, but sometimes, Alex teases Ash about being frightened and he doesn't like that at all. One evening, he was dozing happily, but Alex wanted to talk.
* Alex: Wake up, Ash. Are you dreaming about the time you thought I was a ghost?
* Ash: Certainly not. Anyway, I was only pretending to be scared. I knew it was fuck you really.
* George Carlin: Alex went on teasing him.
* Alex: I hope the guard leaves the light on for you tonight.
* Ash: Why?
* George Carlin: Asked Ash.
* Ash: I quite like the dark.
* Alex: Oh really?
* George Carlin: Explained Alex.
* Alex: I am surprised. I'd always thought you were afraid of the dark. I wonder why that is?
* George Carlin: Ash decided to say nothing and went to sleep instead. Next day, Steven came to see him.
* Steven: I would like you to go to the harbour tonight. You have to collect something rather unusual.
* Ash: What sort of something?
* George Carlin: Asked Ash.
* Steven: Wait and see.
* George Carlin: Replied Steven. Meanwhile, Alex was moving some Beedrill into a siding. Shaggy arrived with his goods train. The signalman changed the switches and Alex waited on the siding until Shaggy had steamed by. Then, there was trouble ahead.
* The Signalman: The switches are jammed.
* George Carlin: Called the signalman.
* The Signalman: I can't switch them back for Alex. The workmen will have to repair them in the morning. It's too fucking late now.
* Driver: Hmmm.
* George Carlin: Said Alex's Driver.
* Driver: I'm sorry, Alex. But you will have to stay here tonight.
* Alex: Where are you going?
* George Carlin: Asked Alex.
* Fireman: Home for tea.
* George Carlin: Replied the fireman. Alex was speechless. He watched as the other characters went home to the shed. Night-time came and Alex began to feel very lonely.
* Alex: Oh dear.
* George Carlin: He murmured.
* Alex: It's very dark.
* (A screeching noise can be heard)
* Alex: Oh! Oh! What was that?!
* George Carlin: It was only an owl, but Alex didn't realize this.
* Alex: Oh, I wish Ash was here too.
* George Carlin: He sighed. Ash was waiting for his mysterious load at the harbour. Suddenly, there is was.
* (The Gyarados appears)
* Ash: Cinders and Ashes!
* George Carlin: Cried Ash.
* Ash: It's a Gyarados!
* Driver: Don't worry.
* George Carlin: Laughed his driver.
* Driver: This Gyarados is made of paper. It's for the carnival tomorrow.
* George Carlin: Workmen lifted the dragon onto Ash's load loader and put lights all around it for protection. Then, Ash set off into the misty night. Alex was asleep on his siding and had no idea that Ash was approaching him.
* (Ash and the Gyarados approach Alex and scare him)
* George Carlin: Alex woke up with a start.
* Alex: Help!
* George Carlin: Cried Alex.
* Alex: I'm not going to open my eyes until my fucking driver comes.
* George Carlin: Next morning the switches were mended and Alex puffed back to the junction. Terry was just about to leave with the express.
* Alex: You'll never guess what I saw last night.
* George Carlin: Terry was in no mood for puzzles.
* Terry: I'm a busy character. I don't have time for your games.
* Alex: I've seen a huge Gyarados. It was covered in lights.
* George Carlin: Terry snorted.
* Terry: You've been in the sun too long. Your dome has cracked.
* George Carlin: When the other characters heard the news, they laughed too.
* Raimundo: Look out, Alex!
* George Carlin: Chuckled Alex.
* Raimundo: Or the Gyarados may gobble you up!
* Alex: No one believes me.
* George Carlin: Huffed Alex.
* Alex: Maybe I did imagine the Gyarados after all.
* George Carlin: But Alex soon found out that he hadn't.
* Alex: Help! Save me!
* George Carlin: Cried Alex.
* Ash: It's alright.
* George Carlin: Whistled Ash. And he explained about the carnival.
* Ash: By the way, how was your night out?
* George Carlin: Alex decided to tell Ash the truth.
* Ash: Well, Alex.
* George Carlin: Said Ash.
* Ash: Maybe we do get scared sometimes, but if we're not afraid to tell each other, then that means we're quite brave too.

### The Deputation

* George Carlin: Snow came early to the land of YTV. It was heavier than usual. Most characters hated snow. Ozzy and Drix were used to it. Coupled back to back with the van between their tenders and the snowplough in their fronts, they set to work. They puffed backwards and forward patrolling the line. Generally, the snow slipped away fiercely, but sometimes they found deeper drifts. Presently, they came to a drift which was larger than most. They charged it, and were just backing up for another try when...
* Shaggy: Help, help!
* Drix: Lord sakes, Ozzy! It's Shaggy! Don't worry yourself, Shaggy! Wait a while! We'll help you out!
* George Carlin: Shaggy was very grateful. He saw all was not well. The cells were looking glum. They told him Steven was making a decision.
* Ozzy: He'll send us away for sure.
* Alex: It's a shame.
* George Carlin: Said Alex.
* Terry: A lot of nonsense about a broken signalbox.
* George Carlin: Grumbled Terry.
* Raimundo: That Elmer Fudd too.
* George Carlin: Put in Raimundo.
* Raimundo: Good riddance. That's what I say.
* Shaggy: The cells were splendid in the snow.
* George Carlin: Added Shaggy.
* Shaggy: It isn't fair.
* George Carlin: They all agreed that something must be done, but none knew what. Alex decided to talk to Kevin about it.
* Kevin: What you need...
* George Carlin: Said Kevin.
* Kevin: ...is a deputation.
* George Carlin: He explained what that was. Alex ran back quickly.
* Alex: Kevin says we need a depostation.
* Terry: Of course.
* George Carlin: Said Terry.
* Terry: The question is...
* Shaggy: What is a desperation?
* George Carlin: Asked Shaggy.
* Alex: It's when characters tell Steven something's wrong.
* George Carlin: Said Alex.
* Virgil: Did you say tell Steven?
* George Carlin: Asked Virgil thoughtfully. There was a long silence.
* Terry: I purpose.
* George Carlin: Said Terry.
* Terry: That Alex be our...um...disputation.
* Alex: Me?!
* George Carlin: Squeaked Alex.
* Alex: I can't!
* Shaggy: Rubbish, Alex.
* George Carlin: Said Shaggy.
* Shaggy: It's easy.
* Terry: That's settled then.
* George Carlin: Said Terry. Poor Alex wished it wasn't.
* Steven: Hello, Alex. It's nice to be back.
* George Carlin: Alex jumped.
* Alex: Uh, yes sir, please sir.
* Steven: You look nervous, Alex. What's the matter?
* Alex: Please, sir, they made me a desperation, sir, to speak to you sir. I don't like it, sir.
* George Carlin: Steven pondered.
* Steven: Did you mean a deputation, Alex?
* Alex: Yes sir, please sir. It's Ozzy and Drix. They say, sir, that if you send them away, sir, well, they'll be turned to scrap, sir. That would be dreadful, sir. Please, sir, don't send them away.
* Steven: Thank you, Alex. That will do.
* George Carlin: Later, Steven spoke to the characters.
* Steven: I had a deputation. I understand your feelings and I give a lot of thought to the matter.
* George Carlin: He paused impressively.
* Steven: Ozzy and Drix, I hear that your work in the snow was good. You shall have a new coat of paint.
* George Carlin: The cells were surprised.
* Ozzy: Thank you, sir.
* Steven: But your names will be painted on you. We'll have no more mistakes.
* Drix: Thank you, sir. Uh, does this mean that the both of us?
* George Carlin: Steven smiled.
* Steven: It means...
* George Carlin: But the rest of his speech was drowned in a delighted chorus of cheers and whistles. The cells were here to stay.

### Sonic's Chase

* George Carlin: One morning, Kevin was waiting to pick up some passengers from Ash Ketchum.
* Kevin: Peep peep! We're late! Where is Ash? He doesn't usually make us wait.
* Fireman: Oh dear, what can the matter be?
* George Carlin: Sanged the fireman.
* Fireman: Johnny's so longer...
* Driver: Never to mind abot Johnny.
* George Carlin: Laughed the driver.
* Driver: Just you climb on the cab and look for Ash. Do you see him elsewhere?
* Fireman: No.
* George Carlin: Replied the fireman.
* Fireman: There's Sonic the Hedgehog in the terriying hurry. No need to bother with him though. Likely, he's on the coach tour of something else.
* George Carlin: He clambered down.
* Sonic: Stop, stop! I've got Ash's passengers!
* George Carlin: Scrailed Sonic, roaring up to the gates. But it was no good. Kevin was all gone.
* Sonic: Bother.
* George Carlin: Said Sonic.
* Sonic: Bother Ash's fireman not coming to work today. Why did I promise to help the visitors catch up with the train?
* Driver: That will do, Sonic.
* George Carlin: Said his driver.
* Driver: A promise is a promise and we must keep it.
* Sonic: I'll catch up with Kevin or bust.
* George Carlin: Said Sonic.
* Sonic: Oh, my gears and axles!
* George Carlin: He stroaned, toiling up the hill.
* Sonic: I'll never be the same bus again. Hooray, hooray! I see him!
* George Carlin: Cheered Sonic as he reached the top.
* Sonic: Oh, no! Kevin's at the station! No, he stopped at the level crossing. Hooray, hooray!
* George Carlin: Cheered Sonic as he toured down the hill.
* Passengers: Well done, Sonic!
* George Carlin: Shouted his passengers.
* Passengers: Go for it!
* George Carlin: Sonic skitted into the yard.
* Sonic: Wait, wait!
* George Carlin: Cried Sonic. He was right on time to see Kevin puffed away.
* Sonic: I'm sorry.
* George Carlin: Said Sonic.
* Passengers: Never mind.
* George Carlin: Said the passengers.
* Passengers: After him quickly. Third time lucky you know. Do you think we'll catch em at the next station, driver?
* George Carlin: They asked.
* Driver: There's a good chance.
* George Carlin: Replied his driver.
* Driver: Our road keeps close to the line and we can climb hills better than Kevin. I'll just make sure.
* George Carlin: He spoke to the stationmaster. Sonic and the passengers waited anxiously.
* Driver: Yes! We'll do it this time.
* George Carlin: Said the driver.
* Passengers: Hooray!
* George Carlin: Called the passengers, as Sonic chased after Kevin once more.
* Pets: This hill is too steep, this hill is too steep!
* George Carlin: Grumbled the pets as Kevin snorted in front. They reach the top at last and ran smoothly into the railway station.
* Kevin: Peep!
* George Carlin: Whistled Kevin.
* Kevin: Get in quickly please.
* George Carlin: The conductor blew his whistle and Kevin's driver looked back. But the flag didn't wave, Then he heard Sonic. Everything seem to be happy at once, and the stationmaster told the conductor and driver what went wrong.
* Kevin: I appoligize about the chase, Sonic.
* George Carlin: Said Kevin.
* Sonic: My fault.
* George Carlin: Replied Sonic.
* Sonic: Late at junction. You didn't know about Ash's passengers.
* Kevin: Peep peep! Goodbye, Sonic! We're off!
* George Carlin: Whistled Kevin.
* Passengers: Three cheers for Sonic!
* George Carlin: Called the passengers. And they waved until Sonic was out of sight.
* Ash: Thank you, Sonic, for keeping your promise.
* George Carlin: Said Ash.
* Ash: You're a very good friend indeed.

### Time For Trouble

* George Carlin: The land of YTV had many visitors, and Steven had scheduled more students. Terry McGinnis had to work harder than ever before.
* Terry: Come on.
* George Carlin: He called to the coaches.
* Terry: Come on, come on, come on. The passengers rely on us to be on time.
* George Carlin: Whenever Terry finished one journey it was time for another to begin.
* (The conductor blows his whistle)
* Terry: Never mind.
* George Carlin: He puffed.
* Terry: I like a good long run to stretch my feet.
* George Carlin: Even so, Steven decided to give Terry a rest.
* Steven: Raimundo shall do your work.
* George Carlin: He said kindly. Raimundo was delighted. He like to show off his smart red paint and was determined to be as fast as Terry.
* Raimundo: You know, little Jackie.
* George Carlin: He boasted.
* Raimundo: I'm an important character. Everyone knows it. I'm as regular as clockwork. Never late, always right on time, that's me.
* Jackie: Says you.
* George Carlin: Replied Jackie cheekily. Just then, Steven arrived.
* Steven: Your parts are worn, Jackie, so you must go to the works and have your berrings mended.
* Jackie: Can I take Kitana, sir?
* Steven: No. What would Shaggy and the passengers do without her?
* George Carlin: Jackie saw Alex by the water tower.
* Alex: Don't worry, Jackie. I'll take care of Kitana until you get back.
* George Carlin: Soon Jackie was out on the main line. He clanked as he trundled along. He's a little character with small wheels. His tanks will not hold much water. He had come a long way and began to feel thirsty. In the distance was a signal.
* Jackie: Good.
* George Carlin: He tought.
* Jackie: There's a station ahead. I can have a nice drink and a rest until Raimundo has passed.
* George Carlin: Jackie was enjoying his drink when the signalman came up. He had never seen Jackie before. Jackie's driver tried to explain but the new signalman wouldn't listen.
* Signalman: We must clear the line for Raimundo with the express. You'll had to get more water at the next station.
* George Carlin: Hurrying used a lot of water and his tanks were soon empty. Poor Jackie was out of steam and stranded on the main line.
* Jackie's Fireman: We must warn Raimundo.
* George Carlin: Said the fireman. Then he saw Alex and Kitana.
* Jackie's Fireman: Please, take me back to the station. It's an emergency.
* George Carlin: Kitana hated leaving Jackie.
* Alex: Never mind.
* George Carlin: Said Alex.
* Alex: You're sending the fireman to warn Raimundo. That's a big help.
* George Carlin: Kitana felt much better. Raimundo was fuming when he heard the news.
* Raimundo: I'm going to be late.
* Signalman: My fault.
* George Carlin: Said the signalman.
* Signalman: I didn't understand about Jackie.
* Raimundo's Driver: Now Raimundo.
* George Carlin: Said his driver.
* Raimundo's Driver: You had to push Jackie.
* Raimundo: What, me?!
* George Carlin: Snorted Raimundo.
* Raimundo: Me?! Push Jackie and pull my train too?!
* George Carlin: Grumbling dreadfully, Raimundo set off to find Jackie. He came up behind Jackie and gave him a bump.
* Raimundo: Get on you!
* George Carlin: Raimundo had to work very hard. When he reached the works station he felt exhausted. Some children were on the platform.
* Boy: Koo. The express is late and it's got two characters. I think Raimundo couldn't pull it on his own so Jackie had to help him.
* Jackie: Never mind, Raimundo.
* George Carlin: Whispered Jackie.
* Jackie: They're only joking.
* Raimundo: Huh!
* George Carlin: Said Raimundo. Jackie just smiled.

### A Scarf For Alex

* George Carlin: It was a cold winter's morning on the land of YTV. The wind was bitter and the ground hard with frost. Ash and Alex were cold and cross.
* Ash: All I want is a warm boiler.
* George Carlin: Huffed﻿ Ash.
* Ash: Firelighter knows that. He's late.
* Alex: He's not late.
* George Carlin: Replied Alex.
* Alex: This weather woke us up early.
* George Carlin: Gusts of wind swirled round the shed, tossing flakes of snow towards Ash. Then they swooshed round Alex too.
* Alex: Why don't we talk about something else?
* George Carlin: Shivered Alex.
* Ash: Yes.
* George Carlin: Replied Ash.
* Ash: Like how silly we'll look when our funnels turn into icicles.
* Alex: That's not funny. Maybe we'll stop feeling cold if we talk about warm things-like sunshine and steam.
* Ash: And firefighters.
* George Carlin: Muttered Ash.
* Alex: Scarves!
* George Carlin: Continued Alex.
* Ash: Scarves.
* George Carlin: Laughed Ash.
* Ash: That's what you need, Alex. A woolly scarf round your funnel.
* George Carlin: Ash was only teasing, but Alex thought happily about scarves until the firelighter came. Steven was enjoying hot porridge for breakfast. He was looking foward to taking important visitors on a tour of the railway, and had pressed his special trousers.
* Steven: I shall put them in my trunk.
* George Carlin: Steven said to his wife.
* Steven: And change into them just before the photographs are taken.
* George Carlin: Then he set off to catch his train. Alex was now working hard. His fire was burning nicely, and he had plenty of steam, but he still hought about scarves. He saw them everywhere he went.
* Alex: My funnel's cold! My funnel's cold!
* George Carlin: He puffed.
* Alex: I want a scarf! I want a scarf!
* Shaggy: Rubbish, Alex!
* George Carlin: Said Shaggy.
* Shaggy: Characters don't wear scarves.
* Alex: Characters with proper funnels do.
* George Carlin: Replied Alex.
* Alex: You've only got a small one.
* George Carlin: Before Shaggy could answer, Alex puffed away. Shaggy snorted. He was looking forward to pulling the special train. It was time for the photographs. Everyone was very excited. Steven was waiting on the platform for his trousers. They were in a trunk amoungst a big load of baggage. The porters were taking the baggage trolley across the line. They were walking backwards to see that nothing else fell off. Alex was still being cheeky. His driver always shut off steam just outside the station. Alex wanted to surprise the coaches by coming in as quietly was he could. But the porters didn't hear him either. Alex gave them such a fright and boxes and bags burst everywhere.
* Alex: OH!
* George Carlin: Groaned Alex. Sticky streams of jam trickled down Alex's face. A top hat hung on his lamp iron. Worst of all, a pair of trousers coiled lovingly round his funnel. Everyone was pretty angry. Steven seized the top hat.
* Steven: Mine!
* George Carlin: He shouted.
* Steven: Alex,...
* George Carlin: He bellowed.
* Steven: Look at this!
* Alex: Yes sir, I am sir.
* Steven: My best trousers too.
* Alex: Yes sir, please sir.
* George Carlin: Answered Alex nervously.
* Steven: We must pay the passengers for their spoiled clothes, and you've ruined my god-dang trousers. I hope this will teach you not to play tricks with the coaches.
* George Carlin: Alex went off to the yard. He felt very silly. On the way he met Raimundo.
* Raimundo: Hello, Alex. So you found a scarf, eh? But legs go in trousers, not funnels!
* George Carlin: And he puffed off to tell Shaggy the news. That evening, Ash and Alex were resting in the shed. Alex's driver has taken away the trousers and gave Alex a good rubdown.
* Ash: Firelighter's promised to come early tomorrow.
* George Carlin: Said Ash. Shaggy arrived. He'd enjoyed taking the visitors around and now he felt sorry for Alex too.
* Shaggy: Driver says the weather will be warmer tomorrow. You won't need a scarf, Alex.
* Alex: Certainly not!
* George Carlin: Replied Alex.
* Alex: Characters don't need scarves. Characters need warm boilers. Everyone knows that!

### The Kongsel

* George Carlin: Bumpty and Raphael are a pair of birds. Each has four feet and tiny chimney and dome and a small squat cab. Their Beedrill are filled with China Clay. It is needed for pottery, paper, paint and many other things. The animals were now kept busy pulling the Beedrill for characters on the main line and for ships in the harbour. One morning, they arranged some Beedrill and went away for more. They returned to find them all gone. The animals were most surprised. Their drivers examine the patch of oil.
* Driver: That's kongsel.
* George Carlin: They said.
* Bumpty: It's a what'll?
* George Carlin: Asked Bumpty.
* Raphael: A kongsel, I think.
* George Carlin: Replied Raphael.
* Raphael: There's a notice about them in our shed.
* Bumpty: Coughs and sneezles spread kongsels.
* Raphael: You had a cough in your smokebox yesterday. It's your fault the monkeysel came.
* Bumpty: No it isn't!
* Raphael: Yes it is!
* Drivers: Stop arguing, you two.
* George Carlin: Laughed their drivers.
* Drivers: Let's go and rescue our Beedrill.
* George Carlin: Bumpty and Raphael were horrified.
* Bumpty: But the kongsel will magic us away like the Beedrill.
* Drivers: He won't magic us.
* George Carlin: Replied their drivers.
* Drivers: We're more likely magic him. Listen, he doesn't know you're animals. So we'll take away your names and numbers and then this is what we'll do.
* George Carlin: Puffing hard, the animals set off on their journey to find the monkey. They were looking forward to playing tricks on him. Creeping into the yard, they found the kong on a siding with missing Beedrill. Raphael hid behind, but Bumpty went bodly alongside. The kong looked up.
* Donkey Kong: Do you mind?
* Bumpty: Yes.
* George Carlin: Said Bumpty.
* Bumpty: I do. I want my Beedrill back.
* Donkey Kong: These are mine.
* George Carlin: Said the kong.
* Donkey Kong: Go away.
* George Carlin: Bumpty pretended not to be frightened.
* Bumpty: You're a big bully.
* George Carlin: He whimpered.
* Bumpty: You'll be sorry.
* George Carlin: He ran back and hid behind the Beedrill on the other side. Raphael now came forward.
* Raphael: Beedrill stealer!
* George Carlin: Hissed Raphael. He ran away too. Bumpty took his place. This went on and on till the kong's eyes nearly popped out.
* Donkey Kong: Stop!
* George Carlin: He pleaded.
* Donkey Kong: You're making me giddy.
* George Carlin: The two birds gazed at him.
* Donkey Kong: Are there two of you?
* Bumpty: Yes, we're birds.
* Donkey Kong: I might have known it.
* George Carlin: Just then, Kevin bustled up.
* Kevin: Bumpty and Raphael, why are you playing here?
* Bumpty: We're not playing.
* George Carlin: Protested Bumpty.
* Raphael: We're rescuing our Beedrill.
* George Carlin: Squeaked Raphael.
* Raphael: Even no one else takes our Beedrill without asking, but this kongsel did.
* Kevin: There's no cause to be rude.
* George Carlin: Said Kevin careerly.
* Kevin: This kong is a Metropolitan Vickers, kong electric type 2.
* George Carlin: The birds were most impressed.
* Bumpty: We're sorry, mister...er...
* Donkey Kong: Never mind.
* George Carlin: The kong smiled.
* Donkey Kong: Call me Donkey Kong. I'm sorry I didn't understand about the Beedrill.
* Kevin: That's all right then.
* George Carlin: Said Kevin.
* Kevin: Now off you go, Bumpty and Raphael. Fetch Donkey Kong's Beedrill, then you take this lot. There's no real harm in them.
* George Carlin: He said to Donkey Kong.
* Kevin: But they're mattening at times.
* George Carlin: Donkey Kong chuckled.
* Donkey Kong: Mattening...
* George Carlin: He said.
* Donkey Kong: ...is the word.

### Kevin's Exploit

* George Carlin: Sonic the Hedgehog was giving some visitors a tour of the land of YTV. It was their last afternoon, and Kevin was preparing to take them to meet up with Bumpty and Raphael. He found it hard to start the heavy train.
* Shaggy: Did you see him straining?
* George Carlin: Asked Shaggy.
* Raimundo: Positively painful.
* George Carlin: Remarked Raimundo.
* Terry: Just pathetic.
* George Carlin: Grunted Terry.
* Terry: He should give up and be preserved before it's too late.
* Virgil: Shut up!
* George Carlin: Burst out Virgil.
* Virgil: You're all jealous. Kevin's better than any of you.
* Donkey Kong: You're right, Virgil.
* George Carlin: Said Donkey Kong.
* Donkey Kong: Kevin's old, but he'll surprised us all.
* Kevin: I've done it, we're off! I've done it, we're off!
* George Carlin: Said Kevin, as he finally puffed out of the station. Bumpty and Raphael were delighted to see the visitors. They loved being photographed. Later on, they take the party to the China Clay Works in the break van special. Everyone else have a splendid time, and the visitors were most impressed. Then, Kevin took the visitors home. On the way, the weather changed. Wind and rain buffered at Kevin. His sanding gear failed, and his fireman rode in front dropping sand on the rails by hand. Suddenly, Kevin's feet slipped fiercely and with a shrieking crack, something broke. The crew inspected the damage. Repairs took some time.
* Driver: One of your crank pins broke, Kevin.
* George Carlin: Said his driver.
* Driver: We've taken off your side rods. Now you're like an old fashioned man. Can you get these people home? They have to start back tonight?
* Kevin: I'll try my best, sir.
* George Carlin: Promised Kevin. Kevin puffed and pulled his hardest. But his feet kept slipping, and he can't even start the heavy train. The passengers were anxious. The driver, fireman and conductor went along the train, making adjustments between the three coaches.
* Driver: We've loosened the couplings, Kevin. Now you can lift your coaches up one by one, just as you do with Beedrill.
* Kevin: That will be much easier.
* George Carlin: Said Kevin.
* Kevin: Come along!
* George Carlin: He puffed, and moved cautiously forward. The first coach moving help to start the second and the second helped start the third.
* Kevin: I've done it, I've done it!
* George Carlin: Puffed Kevin.
* Driver: Steady, boy.
* George Carlin: Called his driver.
* Driver: Well done, boy! You've got them, you've got them!
* George Carlin: And he listened happily to Kevin's steady beat, as he formed slowly at first ahead. At last, battered, wearly, but unbeaten, Kevin steamed in. Shaggy was waiting for the visitors with the special train.
* Kevin: Peep peep!
* George Carlin: Steven angrily pointed to the clock, but excited passengers cheered and thanked Kevin, his driver and fireman. Virgil and Donkey Kong saw to it that Kevin was left in peace. Terry and Raimundo remained respectfully silent.

**Ash, Alex and The Dragon & Other Stories** is an Ash & Friends spoof to the 1993 Thomas & Friends video entitled: Thomas, Percy and The Dragon & Other Stories. It is composed of four Season 2 episodes and three Season 3 episodes narrated by the late George Carlin for the US.

## Description

Boo!!! Have you ever had something scare you? On the magical land of YTV, even the bravest of characters sometimes get scared. Why take Alexander "Alex" O'Connell - - he said that he's not scared of anything. What do you think? Help Ash use the water Chinese Dragon Gyarados to play a little joke on Alex. Watch what happens when Raimundo lands in an embarrassing situation, Ozzy and Drix come to Shaggy's rescue, some silly Beedrill cause trouble and confusion for Bumpty and Raphael, and Kevin Keene proves that, even though he's old, he's still really useful.

So make sure you're "Right on Time" for the next journey through the magical YTV world - with Ash the Pokémon Trainer & Friends Volume 8!

## Cast

1. Ash Ketchum as Thomas (Veronica Taylor)
2. Kevin Keene as Edward (Matt Hill)
3. Shaggy Rogers as Henry (Matthew Lillard)
4. Terry McGinnis as Gordon (Will Friedle)
5. Raimundo Pedrosa as James (Tom Kenny)
6. Alexander "Alex" O'Connell as Percy (Chris Marquette)
7. Jackie Chan as Toby (James Sie)
8. Virgil Hawkins as Duck (Phil LaMarr)
9. Ozzy Jones as Donald (Phil LaMarr)
10. Drix Koldriliff as Douglas (Jeff Bennett)
11. Bumpty The Penguin as Bill (Brianne Siddall)
12. Raphael The Raven as Ben (Phil LaMarr)
13. Donkey Kong as BoCo (Richard Yearwood)
14. Steven Ketchum as Sir Topham Hatt (Dan Green)
15. Heathcliff as Trevor (Mel Blanc)
16. A Gyarados as The Chinese Dragon
17. Arcanine as Coaches
18. Beedrill as Troublesome Trucks
19. Princess Kitana as Henrietta (Cree Summer)
20. Sonic The Hedgehog as Bertie (Jason Griffith)
21. Wilhelmina Ketchum as Lady Hatt (Amy Birnbaum)
22. Ken of the Pokemon Mystery Club as Diesel (Marc Thompson)
23. Suzy as Annie (Megan Hollingshead)
24. Pietra as Clarabel (Carol Jacobanis)

## Episodes

1. Ash, Alex and The Dragon
2. The Deputation
3. A New Friend For Ash
4. Time For Trouble
5. A Scarf For Alex
6. The Kongsel
7. Kevin's Exploit

## Transcript

### Ash, Alex and The Dragon

* George Carlin: Ash and Alex are good friends, but sometimes, Alex teases Ash about being frightened and he doesn't like that at all. One evening, he was dozing happily, but Alex wanted to talk.
* Alex: Wake up, Ash. Are you dreaming about the time you thought I was a ghost?
* Ash: Certainly not. Anyway, I was only pretending to be scared. I knew it was fuck you really.
* George Carlin: Alex went on teasing him.
* Alex: I hope the guard leaves the light on for you tonight.
* Ash: Why?
* George Carlin: Asked Ash.
* Ash: I quite like the dark.
* Alex: Oh really?
* George Carlin: Explained Alex.
* Alex: I am surprised. I'd always thought you were afraid of the dark. I wonder why that is?
* George Carlin: Ash decided to say nothing and went to sleep instead. Next day, Steven came to see him.
* Steven: I would like you to go to the harbour tonight. You have to collect something rather unusual.
* Ash: What sort of something?
* George Carlin: Asked Ash.
* Steven: Wait and see.
* George Carlin: Replied Steven. Meanwhile, Alex was moving some Beedrill into a siding. Shaggy arrived with his goods train. The signalman changed the switches and Alex waited on the siding until Shaggy had steamed by. Then, there was trouble ahead.
* The Signalman: The switches are jammed.
* George Carlin: Called the signalman.
* The Signalman: I can't switch them back for Alex. The workmen will have to repair them in the morning. It's too fucking late now.
* Driver: Hmmm.
* George Carlin: Said Alex's Driver.
* Driver: I'm sorry, Alex. But you will have to stay here tonight.
* Alex: Where are you going?
* George Carlin: Asked Alex.
* Fireman: Home for tea.
* George Carlin: Replied the fireman. Alex was speechless. He watched as the other characters went home to the shed. Night-time came and Alex began to feel very lonely.
* Alex: Oh dear.
* George Carlin: He murmured.
* Alex: It's very dark.
* (A screeching noise can be heard)
* Alex: Oh! Oh! What was that?!
* George Carlin: It was only an owl, but Alex didn't realize this.
* Alex: Oh, I wish Ash was here too.
* George Carlin: He sighed. Ash was waiting for his mysterious load at the harbour. Suddenly, there is was.
* (The Gyarados appears)
* Ash: Cinders and Ashes!
* George Carlin: Cried Ash.
* Ash: It's a Gyarados!
* Driver: Don't worry.
* George Carlin: Laughed his driver.
* Driver: This Gyarados is made of paper. It's for the carnival tomorrow.
* George Carlin: Workmen lifted the dragon onto Ash's load loader and put lights all around it for protection. Then, Ash set off into the misty night. Alex was asleep on his siding and had no idea that Ash was approaching him.
* (Ash and the Gyarados approach Alex and scare him)
* George Carlin: Alex woke up with a start.
* Alex: Help!
* George Carlin: Cried Alex.
* Alex: I'm not going to open my eyes until my fucking driver comes.
* George Carlin: Next morning the switches were mended and Alex puffed back to the junction. Terry was just about to leave with the express.
* Alex: You'll never guess what I saw last night.
* George Carlin: Terry was in no mood for puzzles.
* Terry: I'm a busy character. I don't have time for your games.
* Alex: I've seen a huge Gyarados. It was covered in lights.
* George Carlin: Terry snorted.
* Terry: You've been in the sun too long. Your dome has cracked.
* George Carlin: When the other characters heard the news, they laughed too.
* Raimundo: Look out, Alex!
* George Carlin: Chuckled Alex.
* Raimundo: Or the Gyarados may gobble you up!
* Alex: No one believes me.
* George Carlin: Huffed Alex.
* Alex: Maybe I did imagine the Gyarados after all.
* George Carlin: But Alex soon found out that he hadn't.
* Alex: Help! Save me!
* George Carlin: Cried Alex.
* Ash: It's alright.
* George Carlin: Whistled Ash. And he explained about the carnival.
* Ash: By the way, how was your night out?
* George Carlin: Alex decided to tell Ash the truth.
* Ash: Well, Alex.
* George Carlin: Said Ash.
* Ash: Maybe we do get scared sometimes, but if we're not afraid to tell each other, then that means we're quite brave too.

### The Deputation

* George Carlin: Snow came early to the land of YTV. It was heavier than usual. Most characters hated snow. Ozzy and Drix were used to it. Coupled back to back with the van between their tenders and the snowplough in their fronts, they set to work. They puffed backwards and forward patrolling the line. Generally, the snow slipped away fiercely, but sometimes they found deeper drifts. Presently, they came to a drift which was larger than most. They charged it, and were just backing up for another try when...
* Shaggy: Help, help!
* Drix: Lord sakes, Ozzy! It's Shaggy! Don't worry yourself, Shaggy! Wait a while! We'll help you out!
* George Carlin: Shaggy was very grateful. He saw all was not well. The cells were looking glum. They told him Steven was making a decision.
* Ozzy: He'll send us away for sure.
* Alex: It's a shame.
* George Carlin: Said Alex.
* Terry: A lot of nonsense about a broken signalbox.
* George Carlin: Grumbled Terry.
* Raimundo: That Elmer Fudd too.
* George Carlin: Put in Raimundo.
* Raimundo: Good riddance. That's what I say.
* Shaggy: The cells were splendid in the snow.
* George Carlin: Added Shaggy.
* Shaggy: It isn't fair.
* George Carlin: They all agreed that something must be done, but none knew what. Alex decided to talk to Kevin about it.
* Kevin: What you need...
* George Carlin: Said Kevin.
* Kevin: ...is a deputation.
* George Carlin: He explained what that was. Alex ran back quickly.
* Alex: Kevin says we need a depostation.
* Terry: Of course.
* George Carlin: Said Terry.
* Terry: The question is...
* Shaggy: What is a desperation?
* George Carlin: Asked Shaggy.
* Alex: It's when characters tell Steven something's wrong.
* George Carlin: Said Alex.
* Virgil: Did you say tell Steven?
* George Carlin: Asked Virgil thoughtfully. There was a long silence.
* Terry: I purpose.
* George Carlin: Said Terry.
* Terry: That Alex be our...um...disputation.
* Alex: Me?!
* George Carlin: Squeaked Alex.
* Alex: I can't!
* Shaggy: Rubbish, Alex.
* George Carlin: Said Shaggy.
* Shaggy: It's easy.
* Terry: That's settled then.
* George Carlin: Said Terry. Poor Alex wished it wasn't.
* Steven: Hello, Alex. It's nice to be back.
* George Carlin: Alex jumped.
* Alex: Uh, yes sir, please sir.
* Steven: You look nervous, Alex. What's the matter?
* Alex: Please, sir, they made me a desperation, sir, to speak to you sir. I don't like it, sir.
* George Carlin: Steven pondered.
* Steven: Did you mean a deputation, Alex?
* Alex: Yes sir, please sir. It's Ozzy and Drix. They say, sir, that if you send them away, sir, well, they'll be turned to scrap, sir. That would be dreadful, sir. Please, sir, don't send them away.
* Steven: Thank you, Alex. That will do.
* George Carlin: Later, Steven spoke to the characters.
* Steven: I had a deputation. I understand your feelings and I give a lot of thought to the matter.
* George Carlin: He paused impressively.
* Steven: Ozzy and Drix, I hear that your work in the snow was good. You shall have a new coat of paint.
* George Carlin: The cells were surprised.
* Ozzy: Thank you, sir.
* Steven: But your names will be painted on you. We'll have no more mistakes.
* Drix: Thank you, sir. Uh, does this mean that the both of us?
* George Carlin: Steven smiled.
* Steven: It means...
* George Carlin: But the rest of his speech was drowned in a delighted chorus of cheers and whistles. The cells were here to stay.

### A New Friend For Ash

* George Carlin: Heathcliff the Cat enjoyed his work in the vicarage orchard. Kevin came to see him everyday, but somehow Heathcliff was feeling lonely.
* Heathcliff: I do like to keep busy everytime.
* George Carlin: He sighed one day.
* Heathcliff: And I do like company. Especially, children's company.
* Kevin: Cheer up.
* George Carlin: Smiled Kevin.
* Kevin: Steven has worked for you at his new harbor. I'm sending you to meet Ash today.
* Heathcliff: Oh.
* George Carlin: Exclaimed Heathcliff happily.
* Heathcliff: The harbor, the seaside, children. That would be wonderful.
* George Carlin: Ash was on his way to the harbour with a trainload of metal pilings. They were needed to make the harbour wharf firm and safe.
* Kevin: Hello, Ash.
* George Carlin: Said Kevin.
* Kevin: This is Heathcliff a friend of mine. He's a cat.
* George Carlin: Ash eyed the newcomer doubtfully.
* Ash: A what?
* Heathcliff: A cat.
* George Carlin: Explained Heathcliff.
* Heathcliff: I run on roads instead of rails. Will you take me to the harbour, please? Steven has a special job for me.
* Ash: Yes, of course.
* George Carlin: Replied Ash. But he was still puzzled. Workmen coupled Heathcliff's car to Ash's train and soon they were ready to start their journey.
* Heathcliff: I'm glad Steven needs me.
* George Carlin: Called Heathcliff.
* Heathcliff: I don't have enough to do sometime you know. Although I can work anywhere. In orchards, on farms, in scrapyards even at harbours.
* Ash: But you don't run on rails.
* George Carlin: Puffed Ash.
* Heathcliff: I'm a cat. I don't need rails to be really useful.
* George Carlin: Replied Heathcliff.
* Heathcliff: You just wait and see.
* George Carlin: When they reached the harbour, they found everything in confusion. Beedrill had been derailed, blocking the line and stone slabs lay everywhere.
* Driver: We must get this pilings past.
* George Carlin: Said Ash's Driver.
* Driver: They are escential. Heathcliff, we need you to drag them round this mess.
* Heathcliff: Just the sort of job I like.
* George Carlin: Replied Heathcliff.
* Heathcliff: Now you'll see, Ash. I'll soon show you what bunnies can do.
* George Carlin: Heathcliff was as good as his work. He dragged the pilings clear with chains and towed them into place.
* Heathcliff: Who needs rails?
* George Carlin: He muttered cheerfully to himself. Later, Ash brought Suzy and Pietra to visit him. Ash was most impressed.
* Ash: Now I understand how useful a traction engine can be.
* George Carlin: The coaches were full of children. Heathcliff gave them rides to all the harbour. He liked this once and for all.
* Suzy: He's very kind.
* George Carlin: Said Suzy.
* Pietra: He reminds me of Ash.
* George Carlin: Added Pietra. Everyone was sorry when it was time for Heathcliff to go home. Ash pulled him to the junction. A small tear came into Heathcliff's eye. Ash was determened not to see. He whistled gaily to make Heathcliff happy.
* Ash: I'll come and see you if I can.
* George Carlin: He promised.
* Ash: Jon Arbuckle will look after you and there's plenty of work for you from now at the orchard. But we may meet you at the harbour again someday.
* Heathcliff: That would be lovely.
* George Carlin: Said Heathcliff. That evening, Heathcliff stood remembering his new friend Ash, the harbour, and most of all, the children. Then he went happily to sleep in the shed at the bottom of the orchard.

### Time For Trouble

* George Carlin: The land of YTV had many visitors, and Steven had scheduled more students. Terry McGinnis had to work harder than ever before.
* Terry: Come on.
* George Carlin: He called to the coaches.
* Terry: Come on, come on, come on. The passengers rely on us to be on time.
* George Carlin: Whenever Terry finished one journey it was time for another to begin.
* (The conductor blows his whistle)
* Terry: Never mind.
* George Carlin: He puffed.
* Terry: I like a good long run to stretch my feet.
* George Carlin: Even so, Steven decided to give Terry a rest.
* Steven: Raimundo shall do your work.
* George Carlin: He said kindly. Raimundo was delighted. He like to show off his smart red paint and was determined to be as fast as Terry.
* Raimundo: You know, little Jackie.
* George Carlin: He boasted.
* Raimundo: I'm an important character. Everyone knows it. I'm as regular as clockwork. Never late, always right on time, that's me.
* Jackie: Says you.
* George Carlin: Replied Jackie cheekily. Just then, Steven arrived.
* Steven: Your parts are worn, Jackie, so you must go to the works and have your berrings mended.
* Jackie: Can I take Kitana, sir?
* Steven: No. What would Shaggy and the passengers do without her?
* George Carlin: Jackie saw Alex by the water tower.
* Alex: Don't worry, Jackie. I'll take care of Kitana until you get back.
* George Carlin: Soon Jackie was out on the main line. He clanked as he trundled along. He's a little character with small wheels. His tanks will not hold much water. He had come a long way and began to feel thirsty. In the distance was a signal.
* Jackie: Good.
* George Carlin: He tought.
* Jackie: There's a station ahead. I can have a nice drink and a rest until Raimundo has passed.
* George Carlin: Jackie was enjoying his drink when the signalman came up. He had never seen Jackie before. Jackie's driver tried to explain but the new signalman wouldn't listen.
* Signalman: We must clear the line for Raimundo with the express. You'll had to get more water at the next station.
* George Carlin: Hurrying used a lot of water and his tanks were soon empty. Poor Jackie was out of steam and stranded on the main line.
* Jackie's Fireman: We must warn Raimundo.
* George Carlin: Said the fireman. Then he saw Alex and Kitana.
* Jackie's Fireman: Please, take me back to the station. It's an emergency.
* George Carlin: Kitana hated leaving Jackie.
* Alex: Never mind.
* George Carlin: Said Alex.
* Alex: You're sending the fireman to warn Raimundo. That's a big help.
* George Carlin: Kitana felt much better. Raimundo was fuming when he heard the news.
* Raimundo: I'm going to be late.
* Signalman: My fault.
* George Carlin: Said the signalman.
* Signalman: I didn't understand about Jackie.
* Raimundo's Driver: Now Raimundo.
* George Carlin: Said his driver.
* Raimundo's Driver: You had to push Jackie.
* Raimundo: What, me?!
* George Carlin: Snorted Raimundo.
* Raimundo: Me?! Push Jackie and pull my train too?!
* George Carlin: Grumbling dreadfully, Raimundo set off to find Jackie. He came up behind Jackie and gave him a bump.
* Raimundo: Get on you!
* George Carlin: Raimundo had to work very hard. When he reached the works station he felt exhausted. Some children were on the platform.
* Boy: Koo. The express is late and it's got two characters. I think Raimundo couldn't pull it on his own so Jackie had to help him.
* Jackie: Never mind, Raimundo.
* George Carlin: Whispered Jackie.
* Jackie: They're only joking.
* Raimundo: Huh!
* George Carlin: Said Raimundo. Jackie just smiled.

### A Scarf For Alex

* George Carlin: It was a cold winter's morning on the land of YTV. The wind was bitter and the ground hard with frost. Ash and Alex were cold and cross.
* Ash: All I want is a warm boiler.
* George Carlin: Huffed﻿ Ash.
* Ash: Firelighter knows that. He's late.
* Alex: He's not late.
* George Carlin: Replied Alex.
* Alex: This weather woke us up early.
* George Carlin: Gusts of wind swirled round the shed, tossing flakes of snow towards Ash. Then they swooshed round Alex too.
* Alex: Why don't we talk about something else?
* George Carlin: Shivered Alex.
* Ash: Yes.
* George Carlin: Replied Ash.
* Ash: Like how silly we'll look when our funnels turn into icicles.
* Alex: That's not funny. Maybe we'll stop feeling cold if we talk about warm things-like sunshine and steam.
* Ash: And firefighters.
* George Carlin: Muttered Ash.
* Alex: Scarves!
* George Carlin: Continued Alex.
* Ash: Scarves.
* George Carlin: Laughed Ash.
* Ash: That's what you need, Alex. A woolly scarf round your funnel.
* George Carlin: Ash was only teasing, but Alex thought happily about scarves until the firelighter came. Steven was enjoying hot porridge for breakfast. He was looking foward to taking important visitors on a tour of the railway, and had pressed his special trousers.
* Steven: I shall put them in my trunk.
* George Carlin: Steven said to his wife.
* Steven: And change into them just before the photographs are taken.
* George Carlin: Then he set off to catch his train. Alex was now working hard. His fire was burning nicely, and he had plenty of steam, but he still hought about scarves. He saw them everywhere he went.
* Alex: My funnel's cold! My funnel's cold!
* George Carlin: He puffed.
* Alex: I want a scarf! I want a scarf!
* Shaggy: Rubbish, Alex!
* George Carlin: Said Shaggy.
* Shaggy: Characters don't wear scarves.
* Alex: Characters with proper funnels do.
* George Carlin: Replied Alex.
* Alex: You've only got a small one.
* George Carlin: Before Shaggy could answer, Alex puffed away. Shaggy snorted. He was looking forward to pulling the special train. It was time for the photographs. Everyone was very excited. Steven was waiting on the platform for his trousers. They were in a trunk amoungst a big load of baggage. The porters were taking the baggage trolley across the line. They were walking backwards to see that nothing else fell off. Alex was still being cheeky. His driver always shut off steam just outside the station. Alex wanted to surprise the coaches by coming in as quietly was he could. But the porters didn't hear him either. Alex gave them such a fright and boxes and bags burst everywhere.
* Alex: OH!
* George Carlin: Groaned Alex. Sticky streams of jam trickled down Alex's face. A top hat hung on his lamp iron. Worst of all, a pair of trousers coiled lovingly round his funnel. Everyone was pretty angry. Steven seized the top hat.
* Steven: Mine!
* George Carlin: He shouted.
* Steven: Alex,...
* George Carlin: He bellowed.
* Steven: Look at this!
* Alex: Yes sir, I am sir.
* Steven: My best trousers too.
* Alex: Yes sir, please sir.
* George Carlin: Answered Alex nervously.
* Steven: We must pay the passengers for their spoiled clothes, and you've ruined my god-dang trousers. I hope this will teach you not to play tricks with the coaches.
* George Carlin: Alex went off to the yard. He felt very silly. On the way he met Raimundo.
* Raimundo: Hello, Alex. So you found a scarf, eh? But legs go in trousers, not funnels!
* George Carlin: And he puffed off to tell Shaggy the news. That evening, Ash and Alex were resting in the shed. Alex's driver has taken away the trousers and gave Alex a good rubdown.
* Ash: Firelighter's promised to come early tomorrow.
* George Carlin: Said Ash. Shaggy arrived. He'd enjoyed taking the visitors around and now he felt sorry for Alex too.
* Shaggy: Driver says the weather will be warmer tomorrow. You won't need a scarf, Alex.
* Alex: Certainly not!
* George Carlin: Replied Alex.
* Alex: Characters don't need scarves. Characters need warm boilers. Everyone knows that!

### The Kongsel

* George Carlin: Bumpty and Raphael are a pair of birds. Each has four feet and tiny chimney and dome and a small squat cab. Their Beedrill are filled with China Clay. It is needed for pottery, paper, paint and many other things. The animals were now kept busy pulling the Beedrill for characters on the main line and for ships in the harbour. One morning, they arranged some Beedrill and went away for more. They returned to find them all gone. The animals were most surprised. Their drivers examine the patch of oil.
* Driver: That's kongsel.
* George Carlin: They said.
* Bumpty: It's a what'll?
* George Carlin: Asked Bumpty.
* Raphael: A kongsel, I think.
* George Carlin: Replied Raphael.
* Raphael: There's a notice about them in our shed.
* Bumpty: Coughs and sneezles spread kongsels.
* Raphael: You had a cough in your smokebox yesterday. It's your fault the monkeysel came.
* Bumpty: No it isn't!
* Raphael: Yes it is!
* Drivers: Stop arguing, you two.
* George Carlin: Laughed their drivers.
* Drivers: Let's go and rescue our Beedrill.
* George Carlin: Bumpty and Raphael were horrified.
* Bumpty: But the kongsel will magic us away like the Beedrill.
* Drivers: He won't magic us.
* George Carlin: Replied their drivers.
* Drivers: We're more likely magic him. Listen, he doesn't know you're animals. So we'll take away your names and numbers and then this is what we'll do.
* George Carlin: Puffing hard, the animals set off on their journey to find the monkey. They were looking forward to playing tricks on him. Creeping into the yard, they found the kong on a siding with missing Beedrill. Raphael hid behind, but Bumpty went bodly alongside. The kong looked up.
* Donkey Kong: Do you mind?
* Bumpty: Yes.
* George Carlin: Said Bumpty.
* Bumpty: I do. I want my Beedrill back.
* Donkey Kong: These are mine.
* George Carlin: Said the kong.
* Donkey Kong: Go away.
* George Carlin: Bumpty pretended not to be frightened.
* Bumpty: You're a big bully.
* George Carlin: He whimpered.
* Bumpty: You'll be sorry.
* George Carlin: He ran back and hid behind the Beedrill on the other side. Raphael now came forward.
* Raphael: Beedrill stealer!
* George Carlin: Hissed Raphael. He ran away too. Bumpty took his place. This went on and on till the kong's eyes nearly popped out.
* Donkey Kong: Stop!
* George Carlin: He pleaded.
* Donkey Kong: You're making me giddy.
* George Carlin: The two birds gazed at him.
* Donkey Kong: Are there two of you?
* Bumpty: Yes, we're birds.
* Donkey Kong: I might have known it.
* George Carlin: Just then, Kevin bustled up.
* Kevin: Bumpty and Raphael, why are you playing here?
* Bumpty: We're not playing.
* George Carlin: Protested Bumpty.
* Raphael: We're rescuing our Beedrill.
* George Carlin: Squeaked Raphael.
* Raphael: Even no one else takes our Beedrill without asking, but this kongsel did.
* Kevin: There's no cause to be rude.
* George Carlin: Said Kevin careerly.
* Kevin: This kong is a Metropolitan Vickers, kong electric type 2.
* George Carlin: The birds were most impressed.
* Bumpty: We're sorry, mister...er...
* Donkey Kong: Never mind.
* George Carlin: The kong smiled.
* Donkey Kong: Call me Donkey Kong. I'm sorry I didn't understand about the Beedrill.
* Kevin: That's all right then.
* George Carlin: Said Kevin.
* Kevin: Now off you go, Bumpty and Raphael. Fetch Donkey Kong's Beedrill, then you take this lot. There's no real harm in them.
* George Carlin: He said to Donkey Kong.
* Kevin: But they're mattening at times.
* George Carlin: Donkey Kong chuckled.
* Donkey Kong: Mattening...
* George Carlin: He said.
* Donkey Kong: ...is the word.

### Kevin's Exploit

* George Carlin: Sonic the Hedgehog was giving some visitors a tour of the land of YTV. It was their last afternoon, and Kevin was preparing to take them to meet up with Bumpty and Raphael. He found it hard to start the heavy train.
* Shaggy: Did you see him straining?
* George Carlin: Asked Shaggy.
* Raimundo: Positively painful.
* George Carlin: Remarked Raimundo.
* Terry: Just pathetic.
* George Carlin: Grunted Terry.
* Terry: He should give up and be preserved before it's too late.
* Virgil: Shut up!
* George Carlin: Burst out Virgil.
* Virgil: You're all jealous. Kevin's better than any of you.
* Donkey Kong: You're right, Virgil.
* George Carlin: Said Donkey Kong.
* Donkey Kong: Kevin's old, but he'll surprised us all.
* Kevin: I've done it, we're off! I've done it, we're off!
* George Carlin: Said Kevin, as he finally puffed out of the station. Bumpty and Raphael were delighted to see the visitors. They loved being photographed. Later on, they take the party to the China Clay Works in the break van special. Everyone else have a splendid time, and the visitors were most impressed. Then, Kevin took the visitors home. On the way, the weather changed. Wind and rain buffered at Kevin. His sanding gear failed, and his fireman rode in front dropping sand on the rails by hand. Suddenly, Kevin's feet slipped fiercely and with a shrieking crack, something broke. The crew inspected the damage. Repairs took some time.
* Driver: One of your crank pins broke, Kevin.
* George Carlin: Said his driver.
* Driver: We've taken off your side rods. Now you're like an old fashioned man. Can you get these people home? They have to start back tonight?
* Kevin: I'll try my best, sir.
* George Carlin: Promised Kevin. Kevin puffed and pulled his hardest. But his feet kept slipping, and he can't even start the heavy train. The passengers were anxious. The driver, fireman and conductor went along the train, making adjustments between the three coaches.
* Driver: We've loosened the couplings, Kevin. Now you can lift your coaches up one by one, just as you do with Beedrill.
* Kevin: That will be much easier.
* George Carlin: Said Kevin.
* Kevin: Come along!
* George Carlin: He puffed, and moved cautiously forward. The first coach moving help to start the second and the second helped start the third.
* Kevin: I've done it, I've done it!
* George Carlin: Puffed Kevin.
* Driver: Steady, boy.
* George Carlin: Called his driver.
* Driver: Well done, boy! You've got them, you've got them!
* George Carlin: And he listened happily to Kevin's steady beat, as he formed slowly at first ahead. At last, battered, wearly, but unbeaten, Kevin steamed in. Shaggy was waiting for the visitors with the special train.
* Kevin: Peep peep!
* George Carlin: Steven angrily pointed to the clock, but excited passengers cheered and thanked Kevin, his driver and fireman. Virgil and Donkey Kong saw to it that Kevin was left in peace. Terry and Raimundo remained respectfully silent.