The Drama Blanket, the Third Child, and Romance Stats

Tabletop Tim

Tabletop Tim here thanking hedwig and Carlo for their continued support. Sidenote, if D&D Daniel maybe wanted to go somewhere to talk things over, work something out, I get off at six

Pencil

Hello and welcome to the probably bad podcast a podcast which is definitely bad i'm pencil

Paper

i'm paper. And that was weirdly upbeat. Today's probably bad RPG idea is... determine how dark the tone of your game is by how dark it is outside when you start playing.

Pencil

So the thing I like about this is that in most cases, it will fit kind of like you know, your traditional sort of narrative beats of everything starts off reasonably light hearted and then gets darker and tenser as things go on. But then when it doesn't fit that it becomes incredibly ridiculous. Like you start off playing at midnight, and it just immediately begins with your character getting like, stabbed in the guts, but it's summer so two hours later,you're fine.

Paper

I like it it's almost doing like a reverse 10 Candles

Pencil

Yeah, and it's 10 candles but you light another candle repeatedly and every time you do the monsters are revealed more and more to be adorable anime-esque mascots.

Paper

It's like Scooby Doo. You know, it's like, ah you're running from the monsters, it's gonna get you. And then your mum comes in and turns the light on. And oh, it's old man Jenkins.

Pencil

Okay, so it's not just how dark it is outside. It's how dark it is just in general in the room. So if you want

Paper

I figure we've already deviated from the idea because it'sit specifies when you start

Pencil

Oh, yes, it does.

Paper

So why not just go the whole hog?

Pencil

Yeah, you start the game. Like every time you want to do a emotional or serious scene you have to go and turn the light off.

Paper

I mean, I feel like there are probably people who already do that.

Pencil

Also, I like the idea of like, so you know, you have like you get - role players who just refuse to take the game seriously and keep goofing around. Like no matter what's going on. It's just you got to the dark room and they're just there with a like a to- flashlight held under their face like they're telling a old spooky story around a campfire. And the only way to get them to stop goofing around is to wrestle the flashlight off them.

Paper

Conversely, if your players and if one of your players has been way too grim dark, like trying to be the one murder hobo in the group, you just put a spotlight on them. And everyone stares at them as they as they're illuminated until they stop it.

Pencil

Like I have a flashlight that if I shined a flashlight at you, your character has to do a goof regardless of tone.

Paper

i'm trying to work out how you could quickly like remove light from someone to make them have to do something dark and all I can think is throw a blanket on them.

Pencil

yeah you've got the drama blankets and whenever like you know your character's like mortal enemy has returned and there's going to be a serious scene with them you throw the drama blanket over the player like so

Paper

do you then obtain a series of blankets of different thicknesses depending on how dark you want the scene to be.

Pencil

So you know when you start with like a horror game and because obviously a horror game can encompass a lot of things from campy Dracula to horrible torture. So at the start of the game, the GM sits there and all of the players just team up to put a blanket over their GM and the thickness of blanket determines how dark they want their horror game to be.

Paper

I mean, there's worse ways of communicating that.

Pencil

Yeah, like it's yeah, you've just you've just got the tone blanket. It's like the x card except instead of holding onto the X card you throw a blanket over your GM so they stop talking.

Paper

like a Parrot?

Pencil

yeah your GM is in a little cage and when like you had enough RPG you put a blanket over the cage.

Paper

Now just considering how useful a dimmer switch would be.

Pencil

Oh, yeah, that might be more useful than our elaborate scheme of dozens of blankets and cages.

Paper

Oh no. I like the blankets because you know that you don't see a lot of dimmer switches. But if you do have one, and the game's getting too dark, you can just go and like crank it up. And the DMs immediately like and then everyone turns into kittens.

Pencil

like what happens if the lights malfunction and it's just flickering on and off? everyone turns into kittens but the kittens have knives but the knives produce chocolate but the chocolate is poisoned. And it just continues like that.

Paper

And if you have a power cut rocks fall everyone dies (yeah) I mean it makes perfect sense to me.

Pencil

Yeah, somebody go fix the fuse box before my character gets eaten by a terrasque

Paper

the room is only illuminated by a single candle above which is a rope that your characters are dangling from.

Pencil

This is now going into like Yeah, the amount of lighting in the room is the amount of lighting in the game. Which is also a great way to explore caves and stuff. You should implement that.

Paper

I like that. So like if a if it's pitch black, then I don't know do you give people like night vision goggles to simulate dark vision?

Pencil

Yeah, everyone who has dark vision gets to wear night vision goggles and everyone else just has to stumble into things and hurt their shins.

Paper

I feel like that's also a fun way to demonstrate to your players like no you can't immediately go from pitch darkness to brace bright daylight. And yeah, and your dark vision means it's fine your dark vision means you're going to be blinded for a moment

Pencil

yeah like the way you do that is if a player says that you just immediately shine a powerful flashlight in their face

Paper

this is what you get for playing a drow Steve

Pencil

Yeah, just just really aggressive GMing like I reckon I reckon like you could leap that gap Oh could you Steve well there it fucking is go

Paper

this is very gradually becoming like moving from the lighting sets the tone to mazes and monsters

Pencil

all our things eventually lead to mazes and monsters

Paper

that's true all roads lead to LARPing is what I'm learning

Pencil

you reckon you wouldn't have disadvantage fighting someone with a weapon Come on then bro let's go and then you start attacking them or with your flashlight. yeah going back to the idea as opposed to fighting Steve because I need to do that less often Yeah, I think like yeah you can also go to like the Arctic Circle to get like 30 days of very very dark campaigning if you think that most of your game group will be into that. Like if you have like five people in your game group who are up who are like into like, you know, really dark and messed up RPGs and obviously you don't want you know everyone else to sort of get involved with that. You just go to the Arctic Circle.

Paper

That's definitely the easiest way to do that. (Yes.) apropos of nothing Have you heard of blackout curtains?

Pencil

They seem less efficient than going to the Arctic Circle.

Paper

That's fair mean you've got to go to the shop you've got to measure the windows (Yeah.)

Pencil

And like if if you can do the inverse in the if you have like you know, people who are only into really light hearted fluffy games, you just go to the Arctic Circle during the summer. And you know, you don't have black-in curtains.

Paper

If only there was some sort of artificial illumination you could have in your house. (alas)

Pencil

you know, technology hasn't advanced that far. The only thing that's been invented is a plane that will take you to the Arctic Circle no one has ever invented any other technology

Paper

do think though Just the the idea as written is quite fun. Like firmly the light level when you start sets the tone I think is quite fun because yeah, if you're starting a game in the middle of the day you're just gonna be in more of a light and fluffy mood than if you start a game at like 9pm

Pencil

like it also sort of if the games been delayed an hour everyone's like frustration over the game being delayed means that the game will now be darker as a game which...

Paper

it makes too much sense and that's why a bad RPG idea

Pencil

you know if you break into your GMs house at midnight and demand they run a game for you the game will probably be quite bleak and may involve fighting your GM which will make sense as it's being done at midnight. (Yeah).

Paper

Plus, like, you know, I've started playing Dungeon Crawl Classics. And it starts later than than my other games and darker so you know that tracks

Pencil

relevant question. So suppose it's like an online game and it's night time or late evening in one country but daytime in the other do do the two characters have wildly different tonal adventures like everyone who's playing in the UK is on like a grim quest to defeat a vampire that's preying on the poor and vulnerable and everyone in America is going to rescue a magical woodland elf.

Paper

So I think it's more about the characters approach. I think the people the characters played by the Americans will be having just a great time. Yeah, and then there's one edgy brit in the corner like life is pain, but I will do this thing

Pencil

just doesn't have this but

Paper

it's just the emo party member

Pencil

Yeah, the emo party member, but they are dressed in with a monocle and like bowler hats. (yeah that's how you know they're british) what ho good fellows life is pain?

Paper

Emo Bertie Wooster is a character I now have to play

Pencil

on that note we should possibly go to questions.

Paper

Hi, I'm Hazel, and I present the bread and thread podcast with Liz also known as paper from probably bad bread and thread is a podcast about food history and domestic history. And generally social history, we delve into a lot of different things. So if you'd like to know which country has laws against importing sheep, what cookbook will tell you how to make a great martini and also houses via a nuclear bomb attack, or why you are using a fork right now? Then come over to red and thread and give us a listen. You can find us on Spotify? or wherever else has podcasts? Oh, I don't know.

Pencil

Our first question is anonymous. What are y'all going to do now that you've watched all the movies? Die?

Paper

I mean, so I wasn't sure if this was one the person wanted answering on here or just in general. But I thought we might as well discuss it here. For those who, you know, if you haven't been listening long, or if you've been listening in a random order, which I know some people do. Every 10th episode, we have watched and reviewed an official Dungeons and Dragons movie. (We've now done them all). We've done them all until the new one comes out next year.

Pencil

Because our work is never over.

Paper

But One thing we thought about maybe doing was commentary tracks for the DND cartoon. Oh, yeah.

Pencil

Like the thing is, I've never seen the DND cartoon I know nothing about

Paper

I haven't either.

Pencil

I know that there's a weird little man who's the dungeon master. And I think it's peop- kids get sucked into the d&d world. But I know nothing about it. So it'll be interesting for me to have opinions. I already dislike the third child to be introduced. I don't know which one that will be. But I will have a pointless resentment towards them.

Paper

I'm going to hold you to that.

Pencil

The other but yeah, like, it turns out there's actually quite a lot of d&d media.

Paper

I'm shocked

Pencil

people make D&D stuff apparently. So yeah. We're gonna do the comic, not the comics. We're gonna get to do the cartoons. And yeah, after that, as I said, I will I will finally be laid to rest having completed my unfinished business.

Paper

There is also the option of just looking at random adventure modules and stuff like that. (Yeah) But I think I think the cartoon will provide the most fun, because it sounds absolutely bonkers.

Pencil

Yeah, like it sounds like a very 80s We're going to make a cartoon of this thing, having skimmed the rulebook while on cocaine. But again, I don't know it, so maybe it will in fact, be as serious exploration of Kafka's account of bureaucratic systems. we'll see

Paper

Was it because neither of us have seen it? We don't know.

Pencil

Yeah. Yeah, if it isn't?

Paper

We are we are also open to suggestions for what to do for episode 60.

Pencil

Yeah, if it is, in fact, a very poorly named critical analysis of Kafka's metamorphosis we will keep you updated.

Paper

So the other question that we have is anonymous, and it's how do I ask out my DM?

Pencil

So firstly, you sent in an anonymous message to their RPG podcast I'm gonna go incredibly hubristic here. I don't know which of my players would ask me out, but I'm gonna go incredibly heuristic here. Like I think

Paper

i'm hoping it's one of your players rather than one of mine.

Pencil

I mean, I guess to be fair, one of your players is your spouse. So that's mildly adorable. Yeah, I think the best way to do it is you get a dice. But you replace all of the numbers with the letters for Will you go out with me? And then you hand it to them and go, Hey, would you mind using this when you roll? Have your character ask out-

Paper

I believe that's 18 letters.

Pencil

Yeah. natural ones and natural 20s remain (Okay) If they roll a natural 20 They say yes. And if they roll natural one, they say no.

Paper

I like that. Because it's not. If you get a natural 20 they say yes. This is just that you're just so great that obviously going out with you. Isn't that 20?

Pencil

Yeah, I was thinking like you asked out a GM and the GM is like i'll roll for it Which is certainly is a great response to someone asking you out.

Paper

So I guess the actual first step would be to work out your charisma modifier.

Pencil

Yeah. What I would do, okay, so as a trial run, you know, attempt to seduce your GM and be like, oh, yeah, I'm just figuring out charisma. And then they'll give you a number. And then after that you ask them out legitimately wants you know what your odds are with your charisma modifier

Paper

so i guess a follow up wuestion is, how do you work out your own charisma modifiers? I feel I feel like you need to get feedback from other people.

Pencil

Yeah. So ask out all other members of your game group first And based on the number of them that say yes, you can figure out your like you use like statistical modeling based on How many like what's to determine what your likely, charisma modifiers is? Then you can

Paper

if you kind of assume that you're rolling a 10? (Yeah) Although you do also have to take their DCs into account. Yeah, so what you do is like, like if the, if the hottest person in your group says yes, that's a higher DC than the least.

Pencil

Okay So you go to every player in your group individually, you asked them how likely they would be to date you on a scale of, you know, DC, one to DC, whatever, they give you a number, you ask them out. They either say yes or no. Now with these two bits of information, and assuming an average roll, you might need to ask them out like two or three times to like, you know, just account for like, you know, outlying rolls.

Paper

I mean, it's not real science unless you do it multiple times.

Pencil

And then you'll have your you'll have a good guess at your charisma modifier. And you'll have a good guess at the average dc of your game group in terms of being asked out. And then you ask your DM, and then you hand them the dice so they can roll to see if they say yes.

Paper

It's convoluted, but it's also kind of adorable. So into it.

Pencil

I think the other way to ask your DM is to ask out like every single npc and see how long it takes them to get the picture unless you're playing the bard and then they will just assume you're playing a bard.

Paper

ask out your GM by saying that you brought snacks for the group and give everyone a different Swizzels Matthews sweet but give the GM love hearts and refuse to elaborate.

Pencil

I feel like you know you can make that more blatant. So you start off with that. And then next time you're like, yeah, I brought snacks for the group then you just give love hearts to your DM. And then for the third one you say yeah, I bought a snack for the group and then you just lie on the table in front of your GM and wink there are three levels of like flirting and those are the three levels.

Paper

I mean I don't know how serious you were when you asked us this but we are probably not the correct people to ask how to ask someone out

Pencil

like the answer is probably just just ask them out. i don't know if there's a special GM tip.

Paper

yeah... like I did not know I was being flirted with until I was asked out over a week later. So I do not know how to romance

Pencil

Yes, so as you can see, I do know how to romance if you follow all of my advice success is guaranteed. Bring your like sexy character sheet as opposed to your standard character sheet

Paper

is the same as a normal character sheet except it's printed on some lingerie

Pencil

the same as a normal character sheet except has massive great bahonka donka honks.

Paper

what you do is you get your passive perception tattooed on one breast, and your armor class tattooed on the other one, so every time your DM wants to check them they have to look at your tits.

Pencil

I hope this is helping you find true love

Paper

Yeah, so that was a little bit short this week. But i hope you enjoyed the podcast.

Pencil

It was a little bit short. But we did have to stop before we made any more flirting ideas.

Paper

Yeah. If you want more podcast or some Homebrews or just to hang out with us on Discord, we have a Patreon patreon.com/probablyBadRPG ideas. And we also have an email the probablybadpodcast@gmail.com If you want to hang out with us just very very briefly instead.

Pencil

Well, there's a wide spectrum of hanging out with us you can do and by wide I mean two options

Paper

in I guess there is the third option that of you know, find out where we play and then go there. But I would rather you didn't do that. And I'm not saying I'm not saying it's a good idea. I'm saying it's technically an option.

Pencil

This is a third method of asking your GM out which is they're not your GM but you have shown up at their game night in a disguise

Paper

then you whip off the disguise and say it's me. Go out with me. And then stand there awkwardly while they try and work out where they know you from.

Pencil

Yeah, like I do enjoy whipping off a disguise to reveal it's me somebody you've never heard of. Yes, the podcast is over

Paper

Yeah. So don't stalk your GM

both

And remember to have a probably bad day

Transcribed by https://otter.ai