Chapter 3: Prayers for the Slayers Part IV

—Jason.... —Ashley walked over to her friend and hugged him. Jason did not return the hug.

Megan couldn't find the words, there were no words to express her sorrow.

—There's nothing to be sorry about. I just want to rest.

Ashley understood Jason's message and walked away. Jason walked straight to the room Nikolai prepared for the two of them and when Kalinic came down from the roof he met Carter. Ashley told him that Jason had gone to the place where his room was so Nikolai thanked her and, hurried to find Slater.

When he arrived he saw Jason lying on the floor. He was looking up at the ceiling. He was still crying, his face was red and he was barely blinking.

—Jason...

—I don't want your fucking pity —Jason avoided eye contact with Nikolai, turning and facing the wall.

—You did what you could, man... Chelsea made her decision! There was no way you could have saved her.

—Why did she kill herself if she knew she was young? Why did she kill herself if she was in a safe place? I... I was there. I ran to her, that's why she jumped.

—Don't say that! Chelsea took it as an excuse that you ran to her and, she took the excuse to jump and end it all.  You shouldn't take responsibility for the actions of others. Chelsea simply wanted to rest... Or would you rather she stayed alive and, suffered every day being tormented by herself?

—How can you say that? We could have helped her... we could have done something... spent more time with her or....

—Let's see, Jason, it's a miracle Lilly got out of that room in the first place and dared to talk to other people after what happened to her. Did you know Chelsea hated being with men? She was a mean and rude girl who would never accept help from George, only Lilly. Chelsea was never going to be able to adapt to this world because she was going to have to swallow her fears and accept help from other **men**, she wasn't going to be able to survive because the gun store event left her beyond repair. She was broken, someone like her couldn't be able to adapt nor function in this new world.

—God...

—Chelsea wanted to die, she wanted to die just like that woman who shot herself here at the shelter, she wanted to die just like Bobby, she wanted to die just like all those people who gave up. Our shelter fights to protect and preserve the lives of those who are willing to go through any obstacle just to live another day. We are no one's babysitters, and we will not take responsibility for everyone if they decide to end themselves.

—I was right... this rescuing people is just delaying the inevitable...

—Don't say stupid things, Jason! If Chelsea wanted to kill herself it was her problem, not ours. You must understand that it's not our problem, and that she wanted to do this from the first day we brought her here. We unknowingly extended her pain... but you must know that she never approached us and we couldn't help her because she wouldn't let anyone help her in the first place. If she didn't value our sacrifice to get her out of the gun store....

Nikolai put his arm around Jason and caressed him, proceeding to kiss his cheek.

—Nikolai...

—Do you want to rest, Jason?

—Yes... I'm tired and I'd like to sleep... I'm not in the mood to go out and... I feel sick.

—I'll stay with you here for a while then. Everything else can wait. Shall I tell you something about my life back in Serbia?

—Nikolai... I know where you're going. I know that... with this talk you will try to cheer me up and... I just want you to hold me, I want us to be like this, in silence. Please... that's all I ask of you. I really just want to rest... I don't feel ready to go out right now.

—You're right. Let's stay here, sleep for a little while. I don't want you to do anything risky, and if you feel really bad, please... tell me. I really care about you, Jason...

—I'm just tired, Nikolai... that's all. After the nap I'll be just like wonderful. It's the stress of the situation.

—I can imagine... I've noticed it. Come on... let's go to sleep.

Nikolai and Jason have shared another moment of solitude, together, as horrible things happen around the mall and to those unfortunate enough to be outside the shelter.