Before War Story/Transcript

(The episode begins at Galaxia Omega where a young Mystic, who looks like she's going to go to the first day of elementary school, is shown with her parents, Queen Galaxia and King Universe, with Mystix, Mystic’s older sister, Judy and Ribbon, Mystic’s cousins, even if they act like Mystix counted as sisters.)
Q. Galaxia: Now dear, you be good, just remember..
Mystic: (Smugly) I know...don’t go demon on all the normies…
Q. Galaxia: Good..now have a great day, sweetie..
Mystic: Sure thing, mum…
(As Queen Galaxia takes a picture of Mystic, a montage of her life plays, including her with the young Mystic Stars, creating the Mystix Wand, her working on The Mystic Stars comic series during Middle School, her going to her Candle Man’s War Story design through her goddess period after her parents’ death, before it stops right before Mystic moves out of town and to outside of Wikia. It is now 50 years later, and Mystic is in their house, packing her bags to move out of her parents house. She hears the door open to her room.)
Someone from behind Mystic: Hey, Mystic!
(The Prince of All Cosmos, or just known as Prince by Mystic, runs up from behind, as he is a few years older than Mystic. He is Mystic’s cousin, and he is also the Prince of Gameopolis.)
Mystic: Hey, Prince! How’s royalty going for ya?
Prince: A little grave, actually. There are some things acting up in Gameopolis, and I’m glad I caught you here. Why are you packing your bags? Is something the matter?
Mystic: Yeah..I found this place I liked...and I believe Judy and Ribbon will be fine if they took over my place as the goddess, given I never felt important by others while I was here anyways...
(Mystic pulls out a map of a forest area next to a waterfall on Earth, where she will be settling in, as this was immediately after Wikia’s construction. The Prince looks at the map.)
Prince: So you’re moving out of your parents’ house after all these years? I don’t know about that Earth that you are moving to, so why don’t you just move to Gameopolis? Having you there would help out a lot, cuz being part of royalty is hard work! And you know what it’s like being royalty, you were a goddess for like...800 years!
Mystic: (Lifting up her suitcase) Yeah...I’d rather just move to Earth and get a fresh start on this whole life, where I’m just a person who’s...smug at heart…(Looks at a photo of her once family, as she sighs)
Prince: I heard a new city was being built near where you're moving to, so why not be a resident there?
Mystic: (Going demon on the Prince as he steps back) BECAUSE I’D RATHER BE LEFT ALONE SO I WON’T DEAL WITH ANY MORE SUFFERING THAN I’VE ALREADY HAD!
Prince: ...Right... Well, for a while, you’d be one of the only people there...but, you know, it’s your decision to move out. I wish you luck on your new life, cousi—
(Mystic suddenly hugs the Prince, who gives her a hug back)
Mystic: You know, it’s going to suck having to deal without you…
Prince: Well, my suggestion for moving to Wikia still stands. I’ve got a friend you might like too…
Mystic: (Ungrips from the Prince as she lets out another heavy sigh) Maybe. Hope we see each other again, someday, somewhere, somehow…
(As Mystic finishes to pack up her belongings, the scene fades to a 10 year old Candle Man and his family just having a normal day)
Candle Girl: (is 5 years old) I can't wait to go to school! There's one more year for that though…
Mr. Candle: Come on, kindergarten's bound to be fun!
Mrs. Candle: Yeah, you get to do whatever you'd like to do there!
Candle Man: Besides, sis, ya don't need to study mega-boring stuff after coming back from school..
(Suddenly, a destruction sound is heard, scaring Candle Man and Candle Girl)
Candle Man: What the flipping flip is that?
(Screen zooms out to show UCP destroying more and more houses somehow)
UCP: MWHAHAHA! THIS TOWN WILL SURELY FALL TO RUINS!
(Baghead and his master Hozher run up to the Candle family.)
Baghead: The town is getting destroyed! LET'S ESCAPE, BOT!
Candle Man: (holding Teddy Mouse) Okay… to where?
Baghead: To the much safer town of Wikia!
Candle Man: Okay… so, mommy, daddy, sis, come with us!
Candle Girl: But why?
Mrs. Candle: Can't we just stay here?
Candle Man: NO!!! AS BAGHEAD SAID, THIS HOUSE IS GETTING DESTROYED!!!
Hozher: Mr. and Mrs. Candle, Candle Girl… come with me. My former apprentice will take your son out of town.
Mr. Candle: He will? WAIT, NO!
Candle Man: Well, COME WITH US, THIS TOWN IS GETTING WRECKED!
Baghead: We can’t waste anymore time. Come on!
(Scene cuts to UCP)
UCP: YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!
Candle Man: Who the actual flip said th-
(Baghead grabs him by the arm, while Teddy Mouse is held by Candle Man)
Baghead: NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! WHATEVER THIS IS, LET'S JUST GO ALREADY BEFORE WE GET KILLED!
Candle Man: Wait a sec… SIS, MOM, DAD, COME WITH ME AND BAGHEAD PLEASE!
Candle Girl: But wh-
(The house is wrecked by UCP, making it look like Candle Girl, Mr. Candle, and Mrs. Candle had died in front of Candle Man)
Candle Man: NO! (Tears up) MOMMY, DADDY, SIS!
Hozher: Everyone, with me, now.
Candle Man: WHOEVER KILLED MY FAMILY MUST PAY!
(Hozher, Baghead, and Candle Man start running out of Candleville. At the town boundary, Hozher stops and looks back at Candleville.)
Baghead: What are you doing, master?
Hozher: I must check for any survivors. I might not survive, but many more might.
Baghead: Goodbye, master...I will never forget everything that you have taught me!
Candle Man: Wait WHY DOES EVERYBODY NEED TO DIE NOW OF ALL TIMES?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?
(As Hozher runs in, sacrificing himself for Baghead and Candle Man’s safety, the town starts crumbling. Within minutes [the entire time CM and Baghead watching in horror], the town is entirely empty and destroyed, leaving Candle Man and Baghead as the seemingly sole survivors.)
Candle Man: No…
(Baghead and Candle Man walk across the boundary, and stop at the sight of Wikia. Candle Man, with tears still in his eyes, is visibly shocked, as he hugs onto Teddy Mouse tightly)
Candle Man: So this is… Wikia?
Baghead: Yep.
(Candle Man and Baghead walk to Wikia. Meanwhile, Candle Girl, Mr. Candle and Mrs. Candle stand in horror, meaning they are still alive, even if Candle Man does not know [Candle Man is out of sight though].)
Candle Girl: (She can barely breathe from the trauma) That… was… traumatizing!
Mr. Candle: Thank goodness that Jedi saved our son.
Mrs. Candle: And thank goodness that other Jedi saved us too, even if he had died in the process…
Mr. Candle: Let’s just hope our son is safe.
(Scene cuts to UCP)
UCP: AAAARGH!!! Some people survived! (shrugs) Oh well… at least it’s adios Candleville for good!

(Scene cuts to the Brown family’s backyard where Candle Man and Baghead are seen playing, the duo a few years older, and they have gotten over the destruction of Candleville. Mr. and Mrs. Brown watch them play, with Teddy Mouse near them. They had been living in Wikia ever since Candleville was destroyed.)
Mrs. Brown: Haven’t you told Candle Man about UCP yet? I bet he wants to know why and how Candleville was destroyed...
Mr. Brown: No. I shouldn’t tell him, though. The news about Candleville goes to his parents, not Candle Man himself.
Mrs. Brown: Wait, didn’t UCP kill his family...and right in front of Candle Man?
Mr. Brown: True…
(Beat of silence)
Mr. Brown: Anyway, would you like some tea? I’ve got a pot boiling.
Mrs. Brown: ...Sure.
(They walk in the house through the backdoor. Cuts to Baghead and Candle Man playing a game called…)
Candle Man and Baghead: Scorch the Robber!
(Candle Man begins burning Baghead with his flame. Baghead shows no signs of pain.)
Baghead: It takes a lot more than that to hurt a knight of awesomeness!
(He ignites a lightsaber from his belt, glowing a neon orange, as Candle Man is clearly impressed.)
Candle Man: Coooooooooool.
Baghead: Got a new crystal. You like it?
Candle Man: YEAH I DO! But I thought they could only turn blue, green, yellow, and purple!
Baghead: Turns out there are orange crystals in Wikia!
(The game continues. Baghead uses his lightsaber to unexpectedly deflect the fire blast back at Candle Man. The blast of fire hits the top of his “head”, and this reveals his actual hair.)
Baghead: You have hair?
Candle Man: Uh, yeah...
Baghead: How could you hide such a—
Candle Man: SHHH! Nobody but you and my family know about my actual hair. Tell no one at all.
Baghead: Alright! You think I don’t know how to keep a secret? I’m a Jedi, for Yennix’s sake!
Candle Man: ...Alright, I trust you.
Baghead: Now where were we? Ah yes, of course..
(He uses the Force to pull up attack dummies they presumably use for the game. Baghead begins deflecting the fire blasts at the dummies until they are all knocked down.)
Baghead: I’m starting to get bored. Is there anything else you wanna do?
Candle Man: I’m getting hungry… hey, I have an idea! We could go to the Eggplant and Fish Factory! (Picks up Teddy Mouse as he gives Teddy Mouse a bit of snuggling)
Baghead: Eggplants? Since when have you liked eggplants?
Candle Man: I just wanna try it for once. I’ve had everything else.
Baghead: For twenty bucks, you want to eat nothing but eggplant?
Candle Man: Who knows? Maybe we’ll get something else out of it!
Baghead: Alright, I guess.

(Fades to Shaduck, who is at the door to the Eggplant & Fish factory, with no one else in sight.)
Shaduck: (Reading the sign) Eggplant…and…FISH?! COUNT ME IN!
(He starts to drool as he smacks his lips. He also has a camera around his neck, suggesting he is a tourist. He runs in.)

(Cuts back to Mystic, who has packed her bags, and Prince is helping her take her bags to the vehicle she’s using, with Luna following them. She is heard meeping a tune, holding onto her bed.)
Prince: Could I at least take you to get a pastry in Wikia before you go?
Mystic: As long as you’re springing for Glazed Galaxy Rolls!
Prince: Of course.
Mystic: I should take Luna with us. She likes the sugar cubes.
(They go into Wikia, a nearby city to where Mystic wants to live. Prince teleports them there and they begin walking on the sidewalk.)

(At the same time, Baghead and Candle Man walk to the E&F Factory on the same sidewalk, walking the opposite direction. Suddenly, Baghead’s phone rings, and Pooka is there.)
Baghead: Hey, Pooka! What’s up?
(Baghead hears him urgently chirping, and Baghead can somehow understand him, but Candle Man is clueless towards the chirping.)
Baghead: Bad news, Bot. Jabba’s choking on a frog, and Pooka can’t give him the heimlich. I’m gonna have to see you later.
Candle Man: Bye, then.
(Baghead runs away.)

(Meanwhile Mystic, Luna, and Prince walk down the sidewalk in Wikia. Mystic sees Prince rather eager to describe a “friend” to her, while Mystic clearly isn’t interested.)
Mystic: ...UGH ALRIGHT FINE TELL ME ABOUT HIM.
Prince: Alright, he’s about 5”2, and a giant gray candle.
Mystic: That’s it?
Prince: Oh, and he used to live in Candleville….well, before it was destroyed, that is...now he and one of my friends are the soul survivors from the destruction...
Mystic: How do you know him then?
Prince: Through said friend.
Mystic: Ok, well he sounds nice, but I’m not interested.
Prince: Oh, okay then. You’ve changed a lot, cuz. Maybe you should get a boyfriend. It could help out with that rudeness of yours.
Mystic: Why would I get a boyfriend? Most males at school were just mean, I have no interest in dating one.
(Silence for a moment.)
Prince: ...Oh, by the way, I got Luna a Katamari toy as a good-bye gift. (To Luna as he shakes the toy, peaking Luna’s interest in the toy. Luna cocks her head.) You want it, girl?
Mystic: Uh, cuz, I don’t really think you should-
Prince: Go get it! (Throws it down the sidewalk.)
Mystic: CUZ!!!
(Luna gets off her leash, snapping it, and runs after the toy.)
Mystic: LUNA! COME BACK!!!
(Mystic runs after Luna, while at the same time, Candle Man is now walking on the sidewalk. He overhears dialogue from a while away.)
Mystic: She sure is fast for a three month old. I may not catch her in these sandals. LUNA!!!
(She chases a young Luna as she tries not to trip.)
Mystic: COME BACK, LUNA!
(Candle Man walks by on the sidewalk, and sees Mystic and Luna out of the blue, INSTANTLY falling in love with Mystic. He begins contemplating what he’ll say when a ball bounces toward him. A faint squeaking sound is heard.)
Candle Man: Uhh… ma'am, can I help your majesty chase that caterpill-hey, what’s that?
(Candle Man picks up the ball. He squeezes it, making a squeaking sound.)
Candle Man: Sure is a silly little thing. It- WHOA!!!
(He is trampled by a unusually sized ant)
Candle Man: AHHHHHHHHH!!!
(Luna goes total savage and chews on Candle Man’s face, temporarily deforming it, as Prince and Mystic catch up to her.)
Candle Man: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Mystic: LUNA, GET OFF THAT POOR MAN NOW!
(Luna runs back to Prince.)
Mystic: Sorry, mister, on behalf of the Galaxia Omega galaxy, I apologize for the error of Luna’s ways...
Prince: Want me to help you up, mister?
(Does so as Candle Man brushes himself off.)
Candle Man: Thanks, Prince.
Prince: How do you know my name?
Candle Man: I know you.
Prince: I don’t recognize you.
Candle Man: What?
Prince: Come on Mystic. Let’s go.
Mystic: Yeah. BYE, sucker!
Candle Man: WAIT! Whatever-your-name-is…I think I've got a thing for you…
(She is not in earshot. Candle Man frowns and runs towards Mystic, who is clearly embarrassed from Prince and Luna’s act. She looks behind her, and she groans in disgust)
Candle Man: COME BACK, GODDESS!
Mystic: GO AWAY, CREEP!
Candle Man: I want to be… dating you! You are the most beautiful and cute girl I have seen in my life of being a candle!
Mystic: Ew, GO AWAY!
(She blasts him with some power of hers, and Candle Man is blasted high into the air as Mystic watches. Meanwhile, Shaduck is kicked out of the E&F Factory by E&F Workers)
E&F Worker #1: Maybe you’ll think twice next time before putting us out of business!
Shaduck: BUT I DIDN’T EAT THE EGGPLANTS!
E&F Worker #2: You ate all the fish, though!
Shaduck: THIS IS A CRIME AGAINST DUCK-MANITY! YOU’LL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER!
Worker #1: Who’s that, a pelican?
(The two workers start laughing at Shaduck, as Shaduck walks away as he dusts himself off.)
Shaduck: Yeah…

(Candle Man goes up so high from the blast, he destroys a cloud.)
Candle Man: Oooooooo….AHHHHHHHHHH!
(He begins to fall like a brick. Shaduck, walking down the sidewalk, sees Candle Man falling in his direction.)
Shaduck: What the duck...
(Candle Man falls on Shaduck, destroying his camera in the process, when he realizes he had fallen on Shaduck, he gets off him as Shaduck lifts himself up and looks at his camera before glaring at Candle Man.)
Shaduck: OWAH! WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?! YOU DESTROYED MY CAMERA!!
Candle Man: Sorry, sir. I JUST GOT YEETED AWAY BECAUSE SOME GODDESS WHO CAN'T ACCEPT MY LOVE!
(Shaduck turns around and walks away, saying nothing, as Candle Man catches up to him and walks next to him)
Candle Man: Hey, wait! What’s your name?
Shaduck: Uh, Shaduck. Shaduck… Darkbird..
Candle Man: What a cool name!
Shaduck: Thanks, wait..you don’t find me weird?
Candle Man: Of course not! You're like a shadow and a duck at the same time, that’s so cool!
Shaduck: You really mean it?
Candle Man: Yeah!
Shaduck: Let's be… best friends! And get to know each other better, for starters I can (teleports crazily everywhere) teleport, speak Duckense, and (shoots lasers to the sky with his hands) shoot lasers. Oh, I forgot, I can also (flies up a few feet) fly! (Goes back to the floor) So, who are you?
Candle Man: Okay, I am-wait, you want to be best friends? That seems to be happening a bit too fast.
Shaduck: Oh yeah, heh, sorry...
Candle Man: Eh, it’s fine. Anyway, I’m Candle Man… I can run at super speed, (does so for 2 seconds then stops) see better with the one and only CANDLE VISION! (it activates until Candle Man de-activates it) And I can also do the MATING CANDLE CALL!!! Look! BAGHEAD FYGARIUS BROWN!!! (Baghead is teleported there)
Baghead: Oh hey, man. Thanks for bringing me back! I-
Candle Man: MATING CANDLE HANG-UP!!!
Baghead: Wait-
(Baghead is teleported back to where he was)
Candle Man: And most importantly… I have full control of fire. (Shows it)
Shaduck: Coooolll.
Candle Man: Just one thing though… Candle Man isn't my real name. (Creates a fire paper and a fire pencil, as he writes something on it, then gives it to Shaduck) This is my real name…
Shaduck: (reading) Botuczy Fiery Candle…
(Shaduck struggles not to laugh at this name)
Candle Man: (sigh) Go ahead…
Shaduck: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Candle Man: Okay, okay, that’s enough.
Shaduck: And if you don’t mind me asking, what’s with your face?
Candle Man: The goddess’ giant ant chewed on my face.
Shaduck: Lemme take care of that.
(Uses his lasers to redraw CM’s face)
Candle Man: How does that work?
Shaduck: Laser face surgery.
Candle Man: …Right…
Shaduck: So what are you doing here?
Candle Man: I was going to try some eggplant at the Eggplant and Fish Factory.
Shaduck: Dream on. It just closed.
Candle Man: Why?
Shaduck: Nooooooo reason.
Candle Man: Darn! I really wanted to try the eggplant.
Shaduck: ...Well I heard they still have a lot.
Candle Man: Really?
Shaduck: Go check it out.

(Candle Man runs to the doors of the now locked and abandoned factory. CM, confused, looks around for the eggplants. He finds himself at the side of the factory trying to dig into the factory with nothing but his hands.)
Candle Man: Maybe this’ll work…
(Meanwhile, the same workers that kicked Shaduck out are now on the roof of the factory.)
Worker #1: Why does the boss want us to dump every eggplant off the roof?
Worker #2: I dunno, but it’s cool! We get to destroy a lot of eggplants, and we’re getting paid!

(Shaduck stands 20 meters away from Candle Man, who is still digging.)
Shaduck: HEY CANDLE MAN, ARE YOU ALRIGHT OVER THERE?!
Candle Man: Yeah!

Worker #1: BOMBS AWAY!!!
(They pour the eggplants.)

Candle Man: Hey, did you hear-
(Suddenly, he is pummeled by eggplant after eggplant as he is right under the eggplant dumping.)

Worker #2: Hey, you just hit someone!
Worker #1: I did?! Oh flip!
Worker #2: YOU JUST KILLED AN INNOCENT PERSON!
Worker #1: Well, then let’s hope he has superpowers.
Worker #2: Why?
Worker #1: Well, wouldn’t superheroes survive?

Shaduck: CANDLE MAN!
(He runs over to the pile of eggplants.)
Shaduck: No…
(He hears chewing and notices the pile shrinking.)
Shaduck: Uh, Candle Man?
(Suddenly, Candle Man jumps out of the pile of eggplants.)
Candle Man: YUMMY! I NEVER KNEW EGGPLANTS WERE SO GOOD!
Shaduck: Oh, hey, man...phew, thank god you’re ok....
Candle Man: Would you mind helping me out of these eggplants?
Shaduck: I-
Candle Man: Just kidding! YOU DO NOT TOUCH MY EGGPLANTS!
(Shaduck backs away, sweating)
(Meanwhile, Baghead is teleported to a bakery.)
Baghead: -You can leave me here! Darn it, he did it again! At least he put me back in Wikia this time.
(He is in a bakery with Jabba and Pooka, supposedly getting a pastry, when Mystic, Prince, and Luna walk in.)
Mystic: (To Prince) I still can’t believe some creep tried to date me!
Prince: Hey, guys! Watcha doing here?
Baghead: Getting a pastry. Who’s that with you?
Prince: This is my cousin, Mystic.
Baghead: eY. (Drinks a cup of chocolate milk somehow, leading to him having a chocolate milk mustache on his bag.) Whatcha guys doing here?
Prince: Mystic’s moving out of her home galaxy. I wanted to bring her to her favorite bakery before she goes.
Baghead: Moving to where? Here?
Prince: That’s what I thought at first, but no. She wants to be alone in the forest or something.
Mystic: Don’t say it like that, Prince.
Baghead: Why not?
Mystic: BECAUSE SOLITUDE ISN’T BAD! ALSO, I LIKE BEING ALONE SO HOW ABOUT YOU JUST BE QUIET?!
Baghead: ...okay.
Mystic: Now, let’s get a pastry.
Baghead: I have to get mine first.
(Baghead walks up to the counter. Kellie is the cashier, but this is before they start dating.)
Baghead: Hey.
Kellie: Hello.
Baghead: Could I get a Hutt roll with Crushed Kyber sprinkles?
Kellie: Sure. (Types something on the register.) Could I get your name?
Baghead: Baghead Fygarius Brown.
Kellie: ‘Kay...Hold on, you’re the guy who saved the survivor of Candleville!
Baghead: How do you know?
Kellie: I was watching the news that day.
Baghead: Is there anyone else who remembers my heroism?
(The two begin talking a lot more. Mystic eventually sighs.)
Mystic: Forget it, let’s just go.

(Scene fades away, then fades into the outside of the bank, then scene cuts into the inside of the bank where Limefong is shown)
Limefong: Oh… hello… (Pulls out a vandal mask onto his face) Cool…
(He sees that the manager of the bank, who is Wooder who back then did not have the job of palace guard, is distracted by talking to Moose)
Moose: Are you sure?
Wooder: Dude, I work here. I think I know how much a house’s mortgage is.
Moose: I know, but why is it so much?
(Meanwhile, the scene cuts away to some money, while Wooder and Moose are still talking off-screen, even if their voices slightly fade out. Limefong evilly smirks at it, using telekinesis to steal it, while Wooder does not notice, Moose does)
Limefong: Hahahahaha! (Runs out of the bank while holding the money)
Moose: (Is looking at Limefong) I think that guy is retired.
Wooder: Why do you say that?
Moose: He just collected his monthly payment, see?
Wooder: What are you talking a-
Moose: Wait a sec… was that a… (Screen shows the outside of Wikia Bank) ROBBERY???????? (The pigeons shown on the roof fly away due to how loud Moose was)
Wooder: (Off-screen) Calm down, sir. I’ll just call the police.
(Scene cuts to Limefong running away)
Limefong: THEY WON’T CATCH ME!
Officer: Stop! In the name of the-EW!
Limefong: (Somehow shoots slime all over the police officer’s face) NEVE- wait how did I do that? Eh, I’ll find out later. (Runs away)
(Scene cuts to Limefong commiting yet another crime. Namely, prank calls)
Limefong: (Disguising his voice as a poor old woman’s, while calling the police) Hello… where are my pigeons?
202Skywalker: Pigeons? I’m sorry madam, but you have the wrong numbe- Wait a sec, YOU AREN’T EVEN A WOMAN!!!
Limefong: WHAT??? HOW DID YOU-
(It is revealed face cam was on)
Limefong: YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME!
202Skwalker: Men, track this criminal at onc-
Limefong: Uh oh. (Hangs up)
(Montage begins: screen shows Limefong getting arrested; Cuts to the jail, showing him breaking out while sirens sound; Scene quickly changes again to the supermarket, where he has a stand of drugs at the entrance.)
Limefong: ORANGE JUICE! COME AND GET YOUR TOTALLY NON-DRUGGED ORANGE JUICE!!!
(Moose walks up.)
Moose: I thought you were in—
Limefong: Just drink the jamn orange juice.
(Screen shows him getting arrested yet again. Scene changes to him yet again breaking out.)
Prison Guard: HEY, GET BACK HERE!
Limefong: You think that’ll stop me?
(Scene changes to him stealing Moose’s car.)
Moose: HEY!
(Montage ends. Limefong is now walking down the street. TwoBrains is standing somewhere, when Limefong runs up, grinning a smug smile. Pesron is nearby watching.)
Limefong: Give me your purse!
TwoBrains: No!
Limefong: GIVE IT!
(Limefong grabs onto her purse. TwoBrains screams.)
TwoBrains: HELP!!! POLICE!!!
Pesron: Let me deal with this! (Runs up to Limefong, tries to sucker punch him, but Limefong dodges and runs away right then and there) Hey!
TwoBrains: Hey! You’re letting him get away!
Pesron: No, I’m not!
(Limefong trips over a weight and falls over with a scream and a grunt, incapacitating him.)
Limefong: WAAAAAGH!
Pesron: See?
TwoBrains (Rolling her eyes, smiling): My hero.
(Cuts to the police handcuffing Limefong.)
Police Officer #1: So close to a crime spree, eh doggy?
Limefong: I’ll be out of jail in 30 days! You can’t keep me in!
Police Officer #2: He’s right. The jail is full.
Police Officer #1: What? How?
Police Officer #2: We bagged all of those battle droids, remember?
Police Officer #1: Oh yeah!
Limefong: Jeah, with a “j” instead of a “y”!
Police Officer #2: Just shut up and get in the car.

(Fades back to Shaduck and Candle Man, who are now walking around town.)
Candle Man: Sorry for not getting your fish, Shaduck.
Shaduck: Right… I didn’t…heh heh...
Candle Man: How about I treat you to an anchovies pizza?
Shaduck: Sure!

(Limefong is now at the police station. 202 is talking to him.)
202: So what should we do with you?
Limefong: You tell me, Poo Oh Poo.
202: Maybe we should put you somewhere that cured former criminals.
Limefong: And where’s that?

(Cuts quickly to…)
202: Palpatine’s Pizzeria.
Limefong: Mmmmm...pizza…
(He begins to drool and approaches a pizza on the counter.)
Palpatine: Hey! No eating order #66!
202: This is Palpatine. He was in jail for a while for mass genocide and seizing power across his galaxy. He opened a restaurant, and he’s been better ever since.
Palpatine: So is this guy working with us?
202: For a while, yes.
Limefong: So we’re not here to get a pizza?
202: No, you are here to make them.
Limefong: Jang it.
Palpatine: Did I hear you say… never mind.
(Shaduck and Candle Man enter.)
Palpatine: Ah, your first customers. You’ll be running the register for now.
Limefong: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-Oh, you’re serious.
202: Yes, we are. Get to the counter and take their order.
Limefong: All right.
(He trudges to the counter at the same time as Candle Man and Shaduck.)
Limefong: Can I take your order?
(Neither of the two are looking at Limefong: Candle Man is looking at the menu, and Shaduck has spotted an bright orange goldfish with legs, wearing a pair of gloves and sneakers sitting at a nearby table.)
Candle Man: Uh, yeah, could I have a cheese pizza that’s half eggplant, half anchovies…
Shaduck: Candle Man, ditch the pizza. I’ve got my eyes on a whole month’s supply of food!
Darwin: (Who has finally noticed Shaduck to which he scoffs) What are you looking at, Blackbird?
Shaduck: That’s Darkbird, thank you very much, and I’m looking at you.
Darwin: Why don’t ya just scram? Don’t you know that staring at people is very rude, or are you that dumb?
Shaduck: I’m just getting a pizza, you don’t need to be rude.. Unless I could have you for dinner…
Darwin: I said SCRAM!
(Darwin then turns into Insanova and starts throwing flaming chairs directed at Shaduck and Candle Man, scaring them.)
Candle Man and Shaduck: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(The two scramble out of the pizzaria out of fear. They pause outside the pizzaria, heavily breathing.)
Shaduck: What the duck was that all about?! Why did that guy start doing that out of nowhere?!
Candle Man: You tell me, Mr. I’m Gonna Try To Eat A Giant Fish.
Shaduck: I’m a duck for quack’s sake! Don’t blame me for that!
Candle Man: Oh, I’m going to.
Shaduck: Well, I was hungry, alright?
Candle Man: WE WERE GETTING PIZZA! (sighs) Whatever, let’s go before that fish comes after us.
(They walk away as the screen turns black.)

(White letters spell out Five Months Later. Baghead and Kellie are walking with Candle Man and Shaduck.)
Kellie: ...And that’s why I think Scratch is better than Poco.
Baghead: I say differently.
Shaduck: (to Candle Man) Do we have to listen to this?
Candle Man: Shut up and put a smile on your face.
Shaduck: But I can’t take this!
Candle Man: Fine! I’ll make up an excuse.
(They begin to grin as Baghead and Kellie start arguing.)
Candle Man: Hey, guys, we’re gonna go to the Police Station for some… flapjacks!
Kellie: ...Flapjacks?
Shaduck: Yeah, we gotta go bye!
(They run away.)

Shaduck: The Police Station? Is that the best you can do?
Candle Man: Well, you try making up an excuse on the spot!
Shaduck: Well, then why are we here?
(They’re standing outside the station.)
Candle Man: I WAS UNDER PRESSURE!
Shaduck: Whatever. I’m going to go get actual flapjacks because you started to make me crave them.
(As Shaduck walks away, Candle Man overhears Limefong cheering as he runs out of the police station.)
Limefong: I’m not a prisoner anymore! I resolve to be a better person and get smarter than I once was!
Candle Man: Hello there?
Limefong: Hey, random person… can we be friends?
Candle Man: NO! I’m not gonna befriend a criminal! (Turns his back on Limefong)
Limefong: But—
Candle Man: No.
Limefong: Uh-
Candle Man: No.
Limefong: But I-
Candle Man: No, and don’t you dare lie to me.
(Candle Man walks away)
Limefong: Wait! I redeemed myself! I’m gonna be a much better person now.
Candle Man: I’m not gonna fall for this tr-
Limefong: FOR REAL!
(Does the famous puppy-dog eyes as he is heard whimpering, as Candle Man turns back to Limefong)
Candle Man: What did you do to redeem yourself?
Limefong: I made pizzas.
Candle Man: That’s it?
Limefong: The kitchen was a battlefield.
Candle Man: Are you lying?
Limefong: I DID REDEEM MYSELF! DON’T MAKE ME GO BACK TO BEING A CRIMINAL!
Candle Man: (Now knows that Limefong is telling the truth) Oh okay then. Now, we can be friends. Just give me a little while to myself.

(Scene cuts to Mystic, who has begun her life out in the woods. A young Aqua is sleeping next to her and Mystic scratches behind his ear before she pulls out a book to read.)
Mystic: Ah, finally, some peace and qui—
(Suddenly, loud thumping is heard outside. Aqua wakes up, startled by the noise. It becomes very loud and starts shaking the house.)
Mystic: What in the name of Queen Galaxia is that?
(She runs outside and sees a herd of moose running across the forest.)
Mystic: WHAT’S GOING ON OUT HERE?! I’M TRYING TO RELAX!
Moose: (Runs by) I’M JUST DOING WHAT A MOOSE DOES!
Mystic: No, I meant THE NON-ANTHROPOMORPHIC MOOSES YOU FOOL!!!
Moose: Didn’t you hear? The Police Station is selling Flapjacks!
Mystic: Well I am hungry… (pulls up the location of the Police Station on her phone)
Moose: Go there and find food if you are hungry!
Mystic: Okay…
(Mystic walks into Wikia. Then, she bumps into Candle Man)
Mystic: UGH, not you again…
Candle Man: Wanna go on a date?
Mystic: What? Are you stalking me? If you are, that’s REALLY creepy to do to a powerful being like me!
Candle Man: Nah, I’m not stalking you, just please, we are just bumping into each other and can you just please give me a chance!
Mystic: NO! SO BUZZ OFF!
(Mystic sucker punches Candle Man as he sighs. Mystic enters the Police Station, followed by a hundred moose.)
202Skywalker: What’s going on here?
Mystic: I heard from some guy that you guys are selling flapjacks!
202: What?
Mystic: Yannow, pancakes…
202Skywalker: Why would a Police Station sell Flapjacks?
Moose: A gray candle and a black duck said so.
Mystic: Oh...him...I should have known...
202: There’s no flapjacks here.
(Every moose, Moose included, let out a sound of disappointment as they trudge away. Mystic leaves a beat after them.)
Mystic: Sorry to disturb you.
202: No worries, have a nice day!
(Cuts to Candle Man, Baghead, Moose, Pesron, and Shaduck standing around at a basketball court.)
Baghead: Bot, are you sure this Limefong of yours exists?
Candle Man: Of course I am.
Shaduck: Well, we haven’t met him.
Candle Man: Are you suggesting-Hey, there he is!
(Limefong runs up wearing a jersey. It says, “Gameopolis NarioKartz.”)
Limefong: Sorry I’m late...
Moose: Ya better be, Mr. Criminal.
Pesron: Moose, he’s reformed.
Shaduck: And he gave you back your car.
Moose: ...I guess I can forgive him.
Baghead: So are we gonna play or not?
Limefong: Jeah!
(They begin to play.)
Candle Man: Nothing could be better than this.
Baghead: I dunno, life works in weird ways…
Candle Man: Whatever, this is the best it could ever get.
(Zooms out on them playing.)
(Cuts to black, with white words now saying, “One Year Later.” Fades to UCP going into his temporary lair in Candleville.)
UCP: I’ve been looking for that danged Candle for years. He seems to be hiding very well in Wikia. And I think you’ll be able to help me locate him.
(A new character is shown in his lair. Her name is Findmy Spam, and she is sitting at a worn desk as she takes a sip out of her coffee.)
Findmy: You think? I was storing information about the three galaxies before you brought me here, and everything in between. There is no way you could’ve gotten anyone better for this.
UCP: That’s enough of your attitude for one day. Can you locate him?
Findmy: Sure….you got his name?
UCP: Candle Man.
Findmy: Hmmm… (Types something into a computer, as a ping sound is heard.) Apparently Candle Man is just a nickname. His real name is Botuczy Fiery Candle, and he apparently lives in… hmm… it’s tough to get a good signal...
UCP: Oh come on!
(Meanwhile, Candle Man is holding a shopping bag with a baguette in it. Mystic and Darwin, the latter with a coffee and the former with a bag, walk by. Candle Man follows them as Darwin notices him and taps Mystic on the shoulder.)
Mystic: Augh, can’t you just leave me alone!
Candle Man: Oh come on, goddess! Why can’t you give me the time of day so we can get to know each other?
Darwin: Because you look like a moron! (Laughs)
Candle Man: Why don’t you be quiet? Besides, you’re the one who looks like a moron!
Mystic: Just get away from me, you freak! Darwin, keep quiet until we head back home with the pizza for the rest of the Stars.
TMS: (Through Mystic’s device, being the same one that she used in CMWS) HURRY UP MYSTIC!
Mystic: I’ll be there as soon as I possibly can…(turns it off)
Candle Man: Pizz-
(Suddenly, loud thundering starts again. Mystic sighs as the same herd of moose start running across the city back to the forest.)
Candle Man: What’s going on?
Mystic: It’s the moose aga-
(Suddenly, Mystic and Candle Man are picked up by the moose. Darwin stands alone after they’re gone.)
Darwin (Calls after them): WHAT ABOUT ME?!
Candle Man: Who cares about your mean self?!
Darwin: Hmph..I’d rather be in the pouring rain anyways...so SCREW YOU!
(Meanwhile, the moose, Mystic, and Candle Man are taken all the way to Mystic’s house.)
Mystic: Just get away from me..I rather just be alone
(Mystic goes inside as the door is closed behind her. Candle Man frowns as Moose walks up to him holding onto a weight.)
Moose: Wanna do a few reps?
Candle Man: No thanks.
(Cuts to Findmy researching CM’s location.)
Findmy: Alright, it seems like he’s at a cottage in the middle of the forest.
UCP: Perfect. He will die.
(He goes outside and goes up very high in the air.)
UCP: AND SATAN SAID, LET THERE BE LIGHTNING!
Satan (Offscreen): Hey man, stop using my name in vain.
UCP: Sorry... anyway, LET THERE BE LIGHTNING!
(Cuts quickly back to Darwin, as thunder is heard.)
Darwin: Hmm, I guess it will pour rain...a lot of rain…
(The screen cuts to Wikia’s skylines)
Darwin: (As he is heard yelling loudly) I LOVE ME SOME RAIN, (His voice echoing as his voice warps) I LOVE RAIN!
(However, no rain can be found.)
Darwin: Hmph.
(The screen cuts to the cottage in the woods. Suddenly, as Candle Man walks away, a giant bolt of lightning hits the cottage, immediately setting it on fire.)
Candle Man: GODDESS!!! AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THERE TOO!
(He runs in and sees Mystic hiding underneath a wooden table, surrounded by fire, as CM runs over.)
Mystic: WHY DID YOU DO THIS, YOU MONSTER?!
Candle Man: WHY DO YOU THINK I DID THIS?! MR. BULLWINKLE OVER THERE DISTRACTED ME! LET ME HELP YOU!
Mystic: I DON’T WANT YOUR HELP!!!
Candle Man: FOR THE LOVE OF CANDLEVILLE, LET ME HELP!
Mystic: NO!
Candle Man: UGH!
(He lifts her over his shoulder and takes them both outside.)
Mystic: Where are the Mystic Stars, you idiot?!
Candle Man: UGH!
(He goes inside again and sees Aqua shivering in the middle of the room, scared to the point of timidity.)
Candle Man: COME WITH ME!
Aqua: o-o-OKAY!
(They run outside, as Aqua throws up. He goes back inside and sees Gumball and Gwen hugging in fear.)
Gumball: Who are you?
Candle Man: Your savior.
Gwen: Are you from some kind of religion?
Candle Man: What th- NO! JUST COME WITH ME!
(The trio run out of the house. Debris falls as Candle Man runs back in, and sees Tora being crushed by debris.)
Tora: HELP ME!
Candle Man: Don’t worry, I’ll save you! (Destroys the debris as he picks up Tora, to which he runs out at the speed of light) Okay, you are all saved. Are you happy now, goddess?
Mystic: LUNA!
Candle Man: Ugh…
(He begins to run in, but debris falls in front of the doorway. Thinking fast, he crashes through a window. Blood showing on his face, as he looks around for Luna. After hearing movement upstairs, Candle Man runs up the flight of stairs. The door to the room Luna was in was blocked by a lot of debris, and he could tell a lot of fire was in the room. Candle Man backed away, and charged up the stairs, busting the debris down. Luna is on a burning bed)
Candle Man: Hey, you’re the ant who chewed on my face!
(Luna is heard loudly meeping, scared for her life, as Candle Man nods, even though he has no idea what she’s actually saying at all)
Candle Man: Okay, okay, I’ll save you!
(He picks up Luna and tries to find an exit. The roof is heard crumbling. Candle Man finds the window he busted through and throws out Luna. He climbs out the window next and picks up Luna, and they run back to everyone else as the roof caves in, destroying the house.)
Mystic: Thank you, mister! (Hugs Luna as she is in tears.) How can I repay you?
Candle Man: You can start by going on a date with me...also, is that ghost of yours going to be ok?
(Aqua is continuing to throw up from his timidity, as Tora comforts him to calm his brother down. Gwen and Gumball are seen cuddling up in blankets to keep warm)
Mystic: Yeah, he’ll be fine, he is just shaken up by the sudden blaze...but about that date, one date..ok?
Candle Man: Deal.
(Baghead walks up to him, for some reason in the woods.)
Baghead (Whispers to CM): Told ya.
(Walks away.)
Mystic: So, I never caught your name. Mine’s Mystic Galaxtic Star, so nice to meet you...
Candle Man: I’m Botuczy Fiery Candle, but you can call me…
Mystic: Candle Man?
Candle Man: No, it’s Can- (Realizes) actually, yes, it is! How did you know?
Mystic: I just knew….to think you actually saved my babies, (as she looks at TMS and then at Luna who is now sleeping) I don’t know what I have done if they had died….TMS, give your hero a hug in thanks…
(TMS does so, and Candle Man falls due to their weight.)
Candle Man: Is Friday night okay?
Mystic: Ugh!
(Cuts to black. Time card says, “2 Years Later…”)
(Scene displays part of the pre-intro scene of CMWS, but with different background music)
Candle Man: Hurry up, Shaduck!
Shaduck: It’s not my fault you're fast as light!
(Candle Man pulls Shaduck into a room with Mystic and Limefong also in it. Apart from Candle Man, everybody’s eyes are closed.)
Candle Man: Open your eyes!
Mystic, Shaduck and Limefong: Who are they?
Candle Man: They are all friends I met here! I was hoping we could all be one big group?
Mystic: Geez, what an idea of his, thank god it's just the two...
Candle Man: WHAT’S WITH YOU BAD MOUTHING MY BEST FRIENDS, MYSTIC???!!!!?!??!?!?!?
Mystic: NOTHIN’!
Shaduck: Hmm. I think I can handle these two…
Mystic: Okay then.
Candle Man: Anyways… (Points at Limefong) That is Limefong. (Limefong waves, Candle Man points at Shaduck) That is Shaduck. (Shaduck does a dance as Candle Man points at Mystic) And that is my girlfriend, Mystic...
Shaduck: (Gasps due to looking at Limefong) Hold up! I know you! From the basketball game!
Limefong: Oh yeah!
Candle Man: Anyway, maybe we can become a quartet named the Candle Friends?
Mystic, Limefong, and Shaduck: YEAH!
(Cuts to black one more time. The logo for Candle Man & Friends is shown. Episode ends.)