Episode 95

EDIT

dylan teaches us about cloning, and as promised broti reports on the famous hippo Fiona

recapped by Kevin on 1/13/2023

## Episode Summary

### Introduction

* Broti welcomes us to another NBC Thursdays' Lecture Hall and asks Dylan about the Thursday night comedy line-up and mentions my favorite the nearly forgotten "Up All Night"
* Dylan reveals that the first season of Kimmy Schmitt was originally supposed to be on NBC
* Hot Sauce Hall
	+ Broti has Piri from Seattle
	+ Dylan recommends one of my faves, Yellowbird Sriracha Blue Agave
	+ Broti is shocked by the linguistics of this sauce
	+ Broti wants spicy and not sweet
	+ Dylan realizes she is more open to complex situations
* Bird Hall
	+ During a hike in Griffith Park, Dylan and Devon discovered gigantic parrots and were yelled at for looking at them
		- Sunshine
		- Blueberry
		- Michael
	+ Dylan is extremely indignant about the parrot experience but Broti does not seem to be sympathetic enough
	+ Dylan overheard a man claim that animals don't have taste buds
	+ Broti recalls something very important, that there is a new kind of bird in town
		- Different color
		- Confident
		- Mean, did theater in New York
	+ Dylan asks Broti if she's bitten by a bird, and she shockingly says no
	+ Dylan's theory is that geese only go after little boys because they recognize them as fellow agents of chaos
	+ Geese vs Little Boys are the new East Coast - West Coast rivalry
* Dylan's mom threw shade at our favorite podcast
* Dylan thinks she could learn to part the sea
* Dylan asks my favorite question of the pod in a long time, "What's going on with stoves?"
	+ She missed the whole thing
	+ Broti also doesn't care but mostly because the clicking of 2022 turned her off
	+ Dylan thinks the clicking is a warning of exploding, at least that is her respectable opinion
	+ Broti experienced the casual sexism of oven repairs, #everydaysexism
* D&B remind us of the qualities of women
	+ They're annoying
	+ They be shopping
	+ They're not men
	+ They make more sense
	+ D&B are less scared of them
	+ If they want to tell you a Bible story like it's happening to them, you just let them
	+ Final reminder: gender is a vibe construct, and a contest

### Mailbag

* D&B realize this is episode 95 and they are approaching 100 so they may decide to stop
	+ I have returned from my hot air balloon tour
* Jordan wants to borrow $200
	+ Broti says yes but not from them
	+ Dylan chastises Jordan for misusing mailbag
* Norristown Zoo from Trisha, a perfectly aged person
	+ Dylan loves that Reptile house vibe with its erotic mystique
	+ Broti loves the Cincinnati Zoo Bonobo enclosure
		- It's always a party, which would get old fast
		- Broti likes the casual atmosphere, totally negating the "it's always a party" comment
		- Broti wants to be around extroverts so she doesn't have to do anything
* Embarrassing second date Daffy Duck pod story from Danny
	+ Broti is honored
	+ Dylan encouraged lying about the quality of the pod and hosts
		- Broti says this should just be referred to as This American Life
	+ Dylan agrees that she would be put off by this podcast if she were not involved in it
	+ Broti thinks its pretty fun but she has some kind of Oliver Sacks thing I guess where she keeps forgetting and relearning about it
	+ Dylan celebrates the Richard Kind cameo
* CreativeLobster talks about an insane animal, which should be right up D&B's alley
	+ Dylan makes a so fun Tampa joke but honestly I expected way more riffing on this so maybe it just hit them wrong, better luck next time CreativeLobster
* Canadian Elvis impersonator in Japan story from Miller
	+ A great mailbag, this was exactly the kind of shit they want to hear
	+ Dylan and Broti are so delighted that they can't even riff on it, a truly revelatory mailbag
	+ Dylan thinks the Elvis movie fucking rules
* Dylan jumps right into her topic, cloning

### Dylan's Topic

* Dylan's goal was to start a conversation about bioethics, which has secretly been the goal the whole time
* Dylan starts the lecture with some pretty dry facts and a warning that she didn't actually dig deep into how it works, which is way more of a Broti move
* Blueberries get their second mention on the episode
* Dylan thinks maybe cloning involves breading like "a chicken marinara" dish
* Dylan is very critical of the tone of her lecture as though she had no choice in what information to share or how to share it
* Dolly the Sheep
	+ Dylan vaguely remembers Dolly's offspring but later realizes she wrote them down
	+ Broti is a huge Dolly Parton fan
	+ Euthanized on Valentine's Day because they couldn't wait another day
	+ The World's Most Famous Sheep, by sources
	+ Dolly joined the arthritis club but uses a different drug than Broti, apparently
	+ Dylan reveals the grimmest fact, that her wikipedia picture is her taxidermized (?)
* Cloning in Nature Hall
	+ Hammerhead shark - Oh shit!
	+ Komodo Dragon - too many things, take off an accessory before leaving the house
		- Broti demands looking up a Komodo Dragon to see its nakedness
		- Dylan says they look like a clickbait ad for a child bodybuilder (an idea that both D&B independently arrived at)
		- Broti says that vibe-wise, there are no women, but Dylan says they are all women, so there goes that sweet child bodybuilder synchronicity they were just excited about
	+ The little fire ant!
* Dylan lists off some more cloned animals
	+ Chinese pigs
	+ CC
	+ Little Nicky - cloned for some commercial
	+ Water Buffalo
	+ Ibex - who only lived for 7 minutes (!)
* D&B think identical twins are crazy
* Dylan's topic again is a pretty grim one once she finally gets into the bioethics part as promised
	+ Dylan thinks Lecture Hall is for people who were born for organ harvesting
	+ Broti admits that the whole thing is a one-sided interview about organ harvesting
	+ Dylan admits that Lecture Hall usurps God's place, but who is God to them?
	+ Dylan realizes she's already learned about the frozen zoo
		- Broti makes an amazing tissue bank joke and Dylan tries to improve it but can't
* Broti thinks that all these dead clones are the result of smoking Parliaments
* Dylan realizes she missed the wooly mammoth cloning while she was in high school
* D&B tease the Lecture Hall lab's version of human cloning
* Dylan wraps up with the cloned elephant in the room, Barbara Streisand's dog
* Broti has a nice Streisand-themed transition into her topic, Fiona the damn hippo

### Broti's Topic

* Broti provides some valuable background information on the Cincinnati Zoo
	+ Harambe happened
	+ The PR team worked their ass off for a year to seize this hippo opportunity under the guidance of Kris Jenner
	+ Dylan praises the Hollywood PR machine for its success rate
* Dylan is delighted to learn that Fiona is the first Nile hippo imaged on ultrasound
* Broti throws shade at Fiona for not being able to stand at birth
* Dylan is clearly not ready to let go of the Harambe incident
* Broti lists a surprising number of human-focused medical professionals who assisted in the raising of this damn hippo
* Two punchlines: How do you go from San Francisco to Cincinnati?
	+ Broti: Not through Southwest, I'll tell you that
	+ Dylan: Practice!
	+ Genuinely - a train?
* Plane Weight Hall
	+ 90,000 pounds - -how much they can hold
	+ 155,000 pounds?
	+ D&B decide that Tucker the hippo can get on the plane after all
* Hippo Tea Hall
	+ Fritz - Fiona's half brother
	+ The Woody Allen scandal of the Hippo world - Fiona + Tucker are mating
		- Dylan asks for the latest on that with such enthusiasm I was taken aback
* Broti gives the Harambe incident all the credit for launching Fiona's popularity but the PR machine wants Facebook to get the credit
* Broti reveals that someone played Fiona in a version of Dylan's favorite, The Nutcracker
* Dylan is left wanting more about the hippo drama
	+ The story is with Fritz, the hardest working hippo in show business
* Broti says the official sweatshirt of Lecture Hall is "It's Beginning to Look a lot like Fritz-mas"
	+ Dylan then reminds her that the official Lecture Hall sweatshirt is better, and Broti says she is wearing it right now
* Broti begs for more Miller-level Mailbag
* Alright, bye