Dialogue: Kiko

1stYA -

***> Chapter 43:***

Family is important. How many times have I been told, how many times have I been told, how many times aaah!!!

FAMILY IS NOT IMPORTANT IF IT DOESN'T ACT LIKE ONE!

Yes, my father is my father. My mother is my mother. It makes sense, doesn't it? But did they act like it? Ahah, don't make me laugh, it will make my stomach hurt! Family is meant to support you, isn't it? If that's the case, then my family is the Great Sanctuary. That's where I feel I belong. It's where I've been supported. That's where I was made to understand what I wanted to be: a woman. I was born a man, but it was a mistake of nature. My mother did not give birth to me in the right body; yet she never tried to understand me. I got hit over and over again because I wore feminine clothes. The first time I looked in the mirror with a skirt around my pelvis, I almost cried. Of joy. I was so... happy to see myself like that. It's a feeling... inexplicable. I was so beautiful... So pretty. I was no longer just a man: I was what I wanted to be. I saw myself with longer hair, with cute eyelashes, with a feminine figure; I was no longer bound to the male gender. I wore clothes that I liked, I could finally see myself as I wanted to be. I was so happy...

But my family didn't accept me that way.

They hit me, they insulted me, they forced me to remain a man. I was forbidden to wear women's clothes and when I spoke a little more "like a girl" I was looked at with judgment. I was not allowed to have support from my family. I had to shut myself away in a heart and body that didn't suit me. What I wanted to be stayed inside me and I couldn't talk about it again for fear of being abused. They were my family and yet they acted anything but like my family. They wanted another boy, but my mother miscarried. If that little boy who was never born can hear me, then know that you were lucky. Yes, living is nice, but it's not a family you would have wanted.

Besides, I was sent an invitation to the Great Sanctuary. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do and I was around possibly 18 years old. I didn't have a job yet and every day was filled with sadness, but also joy. I was still a man, trapped in this body of the opposite sex that I wanted. As my family continued to be unbearable with me, I... ran away. I'm not ashamed to say it: I just left my home. I decided to go to the Great Sanctuary, which wasn't that far away. After all, I too lived in Comonce. It was three days away from my house, but I did it all on foot. After a few days of walking, I got there.

And I will never regret that decision.

Even though I didn't feel like I belonged right away, it didn't take me long to realize that this was actually the family I needed. I never talked about my desire to be a woman; or rather, my NEED to be a woman. However, as I finally felt like I belonged, I began to free my heart little by little and by the time I turned 21, an incredible person by the name of "Donnow" made me realize what I really was: a woman. I cried; I cried a lot. After all, I finally had people who could accept me as I was meant to be. I read up on the subject and learned how to change my gender and after a few years I was able to rise from the ashes. I was able to free myself from a body that did not suit me. Even now, I still have to make sure I have a perfect body, but just being a woman makes me happy.

When I look in the mirror, I finally see myself as I have always seen myself.

When I talk to others, I speak in my real voice.

When my heart beats, it has the rhythm I always wanted.

When I shower, I clean a body that is not dirty like it used to be.

When I breathe, I feel...

Finally alive.

Thank you, Great Sanctuary. Thank you...

For being my real family.

**>>>CHAPTER 44<<<**