Da Squiggitz

**This article, Da Squiggitz, was written by Clocktower Echos. It may be linked to any page without asking for the author's permission.**

## Ork Tribe

### **Klans**

Mostly Snakebitez
Some Blood Axes

### **Leader**

Big Boss Zargtar Squigrippa

**Da Squiggits** are a widespread Ork tribe primarily made of Snake Bites who are commonly found on conquered agri-worlds, open feral worlds, remote frontier worlds and generally any planet that has enough space for them to tend to their herds of squigs, boars, groxes and other animals. Often raiding frontier planets and new colonies, they are an especially rugged group of Orks who ride warbeasts into battle followed by a literal tide of squigs.

## History

The first instances of distinct Squiggit Orks reported by the Imperium was in 442.M36 when a series of colonies in the Zorana Expanse either reported a sudden increase of Ork raids against the fledging colonies or were wiped out entirely. However, a few agri-worlds reported that unusually, the Orks seemed to also favor grox raids against the herds that had been brought with them. When an Imperial response force comprising of one score Pruvenian Rifles regiments arrived in the sector, they were stunned at what they saw. Orks watching over huge herds of squigs and grox on every world, each battle with them comprising mostly of squigs overrunning defensive positions while Squighog-mounted Ork boyz shot their weapons wildly into the air while throwing explosives.

Although strange and unorthodox, they were ultimately deemed a very minor local disturbance. To Imperial officials, while they had been seen on a shocking number of worlds, none of them seemed large enough to pose and real threat until in 079.M37 an Ork WAAAGH comprised almost entirely of the Squiggit Orks attacked Forge World Mesicant Secundus. Known for its huge number of Serberys Corps riders, Mesicant Secundus Sulphurhounds clashed with Squiggit Ridaz and the guns of heavy tanks responded to the roars of Squiggoths with the roar of cannons. Iron horses fought beserker squigs as their rides lanced, shot and hack each other down across the factorums and vast open air stockpiles on the arid forge world. After nearly a decade of high speed combat and with the assistance of the a Space Marine strike force, the WAAAGH was finally put down.

The next major encounter with Squiggit Orkz came in 812.M38 when another Squiggit WAAAGH lead by Zargblasta da Wild invaded the Grovetower System. This crucial system was comprised of six planets, all of which were extremely fertile agri-worlds that was the breadbasket of the entire sector. Intent on using the lush soil to grow even more exotic varieties of shrooms and herds of squigs, Imperial Command raced against the clock to organize a strike force capable of retaking the system as several hive worlds began to starve. Although successful in repelling the initial invasion, Imperial forces were soon redirected to another major attack before a proper cleansing of the worlds. Now the planets of the Grovetower deal with occasional and sporadic Squiggit raids on their fields and factory farms from the remnants of the original WAAAGH. Local PDF forces have been tasked to defend the world and have been successful so far but the raids have only gotten more intense as of late and unless they are properly cleansed, some fear that a repeat starvation will occur.

## Culture

Squiggit Orkz purposely limit their technological level as to stay true to "da old wayz" although not to the same extent as other Snakebite tribes like the Beastsnaggaz. They are noted as being "slightly" more peaceful than other orks if for no other reason then they tend to be more spread out over a larger area and thus come into contact with each other less as many prefer to own their own homesteads, plantations, ranches or farms overseeing lesser orks and gretchin. There is a regular tradition of "dueling" to settle disagreements or conflicts even among larger, more dense populations in which two orks will agree to meet upon a specified time (typically sundown or sunrise), stand back to back, walk a set number of steps apart and then draw their shootas and fire. However sometimes said method of dueling is not agreed upon prior to the duel resulting in melee weapons being brought to a gunfight. Being orks this is seen as little issue and many duels have been resolved by the melee ork simply clubbing his opponent over the head while they stand back to back in a "most Morky faashun".

Ranching is a central pillar of Squiggit life with all orks belonging to them having a deeper connection and more intuitive understanding of the bestial minds of animals of all varieties. Indeed every ork is expected to possess at least one squig and Warbosses and Nobz always have either massive hordes of animals and squigs or huge fields to call their own worked by menials. While capable animal herders and slave drivers, Squiggits are also renowned for their skills at Ork botany with a specialist known as a "Shroomboy" capable of turning even the most barren rocky field into an abundant, fungal growth. They have also developed several key plants used by the Squiggits such as Toborkko Leaves used for cigars and mushrooms that can be brewed into highly potent alcohol called Shroomshine. Because of this, Shroomboys (and Squiggits at large to a lesser degree) are always welcomed at Ork settlements and WAAAGHs due to them being often bringing good alcohol and smokes and thus being labelled as fun guys.

In a huge deviation from traditional Orkish behavior, Squiggits are also known to practice extortion alongside raiding when they cohabit worlds with other species and spacefaring tribes even demand protection money from passing ships. Many frontier world settlements are used to paying huge sums of crops, raw materials or weapons to the Squiggits in the hopes they won't simply take the money and then attack anyways with the same materials and weapons just given to the Orks. Depsite this natural proclivity towards banditry and extortion, Squiggit Orks have also been noted by several less reputable nobles and Rogue Traders that Squiggit Orks are more willing to follow through mercenary contracts than the average Ork.

## Shroomboyz

A specialized Oddboy found most commonly in the Squiggits, they are essential Ork botanists and agricultural experts, capable of breeding new fungus and plants for the tribe or clan's use. Shroomboyz have an innate understanding of how Ork ecosystems work and how best to change and affect it, able to crudely splice various orkoid fungi and native fauna together to make new plants. In battle, they sometimes act as secondary Painboy but most often throw out **Fumiebombs**, gas bombs that release noxious spores that can induce hallucinations and suffocates enemies, and **Boostastimms**, gas bombs that also release noxious spores that can induce hallucinations in Ork boyz but encourage them to swing faster and shoot faster harder to shoo away the hallucinations (and actual targets if they're lucky).

They are also generally very well received by the other boyz of the tribe as they often bring copious amount of homemade alcohol brewed from their plants and shrooms as well as having a fairly sociable (for an Ork) attitude that makes the other Orks look at them as fun guys.

### Notable Plants Created by Shroomboyz

* **Toborkko Leaves** - A leafy plant that when dried out and properly prepared can be rolled up into cigarettes and cigars that are smoked by Squiggits. Noted as one of the few things which have been observed to be able to calm and Ork down (somewhat). Some varieties can include more exotic ingredients such as flavorings, other mushrooms, motor oil and chemical waste for an "extra specially smooth taste".
* **Squigtail Shrooms** - A very common variety of shrooms named after the tail of a squig that can be turned into cloth for clothing and banners or brewed into alcohol. Every Shroomboy will have a sizable field of Squigtails because of how easy they are to grow and how in demand Squigtail cloth and Squigtail ale is.
* **Bad Moon Shrooms** - A rarer variety of shrooms said to have originally bene discovered on accident by grots. These mushrooms are notoriously difficult to grow as they can only be grown in moon light and will die under sunlight, leading to Shroomboys ordering their grots to constantly move and remove tarps from over them. The reward however is that they can be brewed into highly prized Shroomshine, a very potent (and occasionally lethal to non-Orks) alcoholic beverage that can induce a state of madness known as "gettin' shroom'd".
* **Gnarlroot** - Said to have been grown from captured bonsai trees, Gnarlroot is a short, tough, woody root that can be turned into Gnarlroot Charcoal which is seemingly more efficient than regular charcoal or coal, burning for longer and hotter. They play a key role in fueling some of the steam-powered contraptions made by the Junka Meks. Also known to make for excellent back scratchers.

## Appearance

Squiggit Orks at a glance could be mistaken for not wearing any armor. They tend to wear long duster coats and overalls made of tough brown-ish leather, wide brimmed khaki hats for keeping the sun out of their eyes and many forgot the typically Orky iron-jaw in favor of a bandana wrapped around their mouth, typically color coded to show off affiliations or status. This is most commonly seen among lower ranking boyz with higher ranking Orks and specialists preferring to forgo the bandana mask. However, they do wear armor under their coats, favoring smoother shapes as opposed to jagged spikes. Sometimes Squiggits will cut the sleeves off their dusters so they can properly show off their pauldrons and armor. Every Ork also has at least one holster for their personal pistol shoota, almost always in the style of a revolver.

The weaponry of the Squiggits is also fairly distinctive for an Ork whose guns almost always sport some variation of a revolving chamber. From sluggas and shootas, all the way up to artillery and even tank cannons, if they can get a revolving chamber on to it, the Squiggit Orks will show it off. They also show a preference for more brass-like metals, preferring its color over grey steel or iron. This is most evident in their more heavily armored units who stand out in a crowd of Orks.

As a matter of style, whenever a Squiggit is interacting with a non-Squiggit individual, Ork or otherwise, they always either have a piece of straw in their mouth or tobacco cigarette.

## Combat Doctrine

Uncharacteristically for Orks, the Squiggits prize themselves for their ability to quickly draw their weapons and fire them accurately. Where as other Orks would simply point their gun at a direction and pull the trigger, a Squiggit Ork would instead roughly line up a shot with their crude sights or scopes, and then pull the trigger and empty the clip. The fact that any sense of accuracy is lost after the first round leaves the barrel is completely lost on them as they enjoy firing their guns too much. Despite this, they will loudly boast about how much more "killy" they are because they lined up their first shot which typically ends them getting hit on the head or challenged to a duel.

In combat, the Squiggit use their wide variety of squigs and animals to make up for their limited number of heavier, more advanced vehicles. Like Beast Snaggas, Squiggits will also right squighogs into battle or use them to pull chariot-rigs. Their preferred method of fighting is use their animals as armored formations, running around, blasting and ramming them into enemies while vast hordes of more generic squigs run between their feet to overrun their enemy. Those not on a vehicle typically ride into battle riding a squighog, shouting and firing their guns off as they charge in. Even Squiggit grots are known to ride on the back of smaller squigs and are called "Squig Hoppers" and while only slightly more effective in combat, are endlessly amusing to the Orks, especially when a rider is eaten by his mount.

### Wargear

* **Six Revver Blasta** - A fairly unique item only found on Squiggits, they are pistol-like sluggas that resemble revolvers with a characteristic revolving chamber and seeming do more damage than most sluggas. Many observers have noted to their confusion that despite only holding six rounds, many Squiggits have been seen firing many, many more. Some models recovered also appear to be belt fed with a belt of ammunition stuck to the side and a the revolving mechanism used to draw bullets into the firing chamber from an external magazine.
* **Cranka Gun** - A crude gatling gun that requires some external power source. Most often used defensively or on vehicles, some large nobs and warbosses are known to carry around Cranker Grots whose sole job it is to continuously turn the crank to keep the gun firing. The true number of shots that come out is random, sometimes with only one misaimed round flying off into the sky while other times an entire magazine is dumped at once. The only seemingly consistent trait is that each time it fires it requires less time between shots until a continuous stream of fire is formed.
* **Twin Linked Boomablasta** - A giant cannon that has always been seen with at least two massive barrels that are filled with scrap, solid projectiles or squigs that act like oversized shotguns. Squiggits are fans of firing them point blank right before the impact of a charge to devastating effect.
* **Splodey Stikk** - An ingenious breakthrough in Ork explosive technology, it was realized that one of the shortcommings of a traditional stikk bomb was that only a small part of the bomb was filled with explosives. In their brilliance, the Mekboyz of the Squiggits have come up with an innovative solution: turn the whole stick into an explosive. Resembling sticks of dynamite, they are used in place of stikk bombs and are even attached to throwing axes to bury themselves into some unfortunate target before exploding.

### Forces of the Squiggits

* **Squiggit Rida** - A basic form of infantry that has been mounted on a Squighog or other suitable beast such as grox or boar who in addition to standard shootas and choppas, also carry lassos they use to tie targets down, dragging them behind them until they are torn apart by terrain or trampled upon by other animals.
* **Squighand Yoof** - Another name for the youngest Ork boys who have yet to prove themselves in actual combat; often religated to menial labor by their superiors until they have proven themselves as "right, propa orkz".
* **Scrappa Mek** - Squiggits are even more reliant on salvage and scavenging than most other klans and thus their Meks are more skilled at taking apart captured technology and utilizing steam power to create deadly mechanical monsters.
* **Squiggit Rangaz** - Elite komands sent on long range scouting missions to fine raiding targets, new grazing lands or ore veins which to set up shanty boomtowns. They are even capable of understanding the concept of utilizing burst fire to conserve ammo and maintain accuracy, even if their "burst fire" is equivariant to dumping a third of the magazine at once.
* **Stonebrekka** - Although most armor can be dealt with by some variation of Squig, Stonebrekkas are Tankbustas who get their name due to the slabs of solid rock they wear as protective armor to try and ward off the blast of TNT and Splodey Stikks to varying degrees of sucess.
* **Steamed Nobz** - Mega armor typically requires an advanced understanding of electronics, cybernetics and metalurgy to construct but Scrappa Meks have used their mastery of steam to create steam-powered varieties which are slower and weaker than normal mega armor but still incredibly deadly and allows to wearer to mount heavy firepower.

## Notable Subgroups

* **Da Hatfindaz** - A subgroup of the Squiggits who are often the owners of huge fields of Squigtails, responsible for making most of the fabric, clothes, dusters and hats worn by other members of the clan. They have a fierce rivalry with the Mekcogz due to differing priorities and beliefs in Gork and Mork.
* **Da Mekcogz** - A subgroup of the Squiggits who are specialized mechanics and specialize in crafting the more eclectic weapons of the tribe in addition to their armor and vehicles. The most successful Mekcog enclaves have managed to create railroads that span for miles, linking distant homesteads and ranches with the central orky hubs of production and violence. They have a fierce rivalry with the Hatfindaz due to differing priorities and beliefs in Gork and Mork.
* **Salooner Grots** - A league of grots who play the pivotal role of brewers and saloon owners among the Squiggits, often making huge profits due to the sale of Shroomshine, Squigtail ale and gambling games. They are often bullied slightly less as many high they have "political" connections with warbosses and nobz, often reservering the best of their brews for them in exchange for safety and the promise of bullying other, slightly smaller grots.
* **Da Ham Slammaz** - A subgroup of Squiggits who are especially well known for their squighogs and boars and are never seen without their rigs pulled by their prized creations, using them to get into melee where they have been seen carrying shanks and legs of meat to beat and bludgeon their enemies to death with. Its said that the flesh of their animals is so tasty that some Imperial nobles have paid them handsomely for a taste of this rare, exotic meat.

## Notable Members

* **Da Lone Star Ranga** - A legendary gunslinger with an equally legendary kustom six revva blasta: the Mega Iron. Said to have six seperate cylynders on his gun, the speed of the Lone Star Ranga was without equal, capable of blasting a fly off of a squig's back (along with blowing holes in said squig and anything around it.) Once fought a Genestealer Cult Kelemorph known as "Hexiag Red" on the doomed hive world of Agula Fyra in the only known instance where the Lone Star Ranga had to *reload* his 36 shot shoota.
* **Klunk Norrik** - A legendary, near-mythical figure among the Squiggits whose exploits have been repeated so many times that its hard to decipher fact from fiction. According to various stories, Klunk Norrik existed during the Imperial Dark Age of Technology, fought all of the primarchs at one point, tried to punch the God Emperor in the gonads, beat a Necron Overlord in a staring contest, drinks raw promthium, sniped a Tau battlesuit commander from orbit with a shoota, sneaked into Commorragh, Holy Terra and T'au, and stopped an exterminatus by forcing the missile to detonate while it was still in the ship carrying by sheer force of will. While such tales are certainly false, some of his other exploits are less deniably false such as him often being a one ork army against impossible odds garner him a reputation among the Orks akin to Sly Marbo.