Men in Black 4

***Men in Black 4*** is the fifty-ninth episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical,* and features guest Tawny Newsome. It is a script reading of *Men in Black 4,* and the story takes place about two years after the Big One, an earthquake-related catastrophic event. It begins with three Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson fans in a hot spring, who come to realize that no one has passed away in the last two years.

## Plot

### Act I

After the Big One, three ladies relax in a hot spring ("Three Things [You Love About Hot Springs]"). They discuss their local hot springs, followed by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson—more specifically, what the film *Men in Black* would be like, were he in it ("Put the Rock in *Men in Black*"). They theorize that, because no one has died since the Big One, it is possible that either: a) the Big One cured murder, b) they've gone to heaven, c) they've gone to purgatory, d) no one has passed away for two years (due to luck), or e) they are in a Matrix-style simulation. They all wish that The Rock had appeared in *The Matrix*, either as Neo or Morpheus ("The Rock Should Have Been in *The Matrix*"). Despite their many theories and tangents, they are comforted to be with one another ("Safe Springs").

Elon Musk's assistant, James, reports to him that people are becoming aware that he has placed them in a simulation. Musk attempts to reflect on his own ambitions and the history of his companies, though an uncomfortable, interrupting James makes this difficult. Musk confirms his own belief that all reality is already a simulation being run by someone else ("Everything's a Simulation [Ft. Elon Musk]").

That someone else is Jeff Bezos of Amazon. As creator of the Elon Musk-level simulation, he has employed two Marthas to troubleshoot the system, because the simulated Musk has caused a problem by crafting another simulation in which the three hot spring bathers are relaxing. Besides looks down on Elon Musk for his small-mindedness and lack of ambition. One of the Marthas innocently questions whether they, including Jeff Bezos, are also simulated. Though he maintains that they are real, Jeff begins to question his existence, and becomes angry ("You Made Me Question If I'm Real [Ft. Jeff Bezos]"). A Martha, sworn to protect the original simulation, uses the neuralyzer from *Men in Black* to erase his memory.

### Act II

Jeff Bezos wakes up and is neuralyzed again, a few more times. When the Marthas realize he is beginning to turn into Steve Bezos, who only eats Cheese Nips, they pause him in the simulation and return to their base. Just as they start to file their report on how they've ruined Jeff Bezos, Base Receptionist Martha reveals that their computer system is down, and whoever ruined it will be thrown into a lake of fire. Base Receptionist Martha bemoans the fact that she's forgotten how to write, and the three express sadness over not being more "remarthable" ("What Makes a Martha?").

The real Steve Bezos, creator of the simulation they are all presently in, arrives. Steve explains that he was present at the beginning of time, he is part tree, he will be present until the end of time, and some call him god ("Steve Bezos, the Beginning and End of All Things"). He also makes clear that he is not related to Jeff Bezos—the reason they share the same name is that he only ever chooses between two names: "Bezos" and "Martha." In order to restore order to the system, the group plans to reboot Jeff Bezos, who will then reboot Elon Musk, who will then deal with the Hot Spring bathers. Before they can do so, however, Martha #1 has an epiphany—reboot the entire system, including their own simulation, but replace everyone inside it with The Rock. Steve is nervous to recreate the entirety of existence, but the Marthas reassure him ("Don't Be Afraid of a Reboot"). Steve hits reset.

After the reboot, the bathers are now all The Rock, and their alarm goes off, indicating it is time to eat cod. Also, they have all bought each other trucks. They also realize that no one has died ever since they filmed *San Andreas*, which impacted the audience reaction to their other movies and TV shows, such as *Skyscraper*, *The Sixth Sense*, and Amazon's *The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel*. They continue to reflect on their successful careers, starring in movies that seem also to contain their name in the titles ("IMDb [Internet Movie Dwaynebase]").

The Martha Dwaynes realise they forgot to reboot Elon Rock via Jeff Rock.

Elon Rock and his Assistant Dwayne James are talking about Elon Rock's companies, when *A Quiet Rock's* director, and Jim on *The Rockfice*, John Krasrockski arrives for lunch an hour early. However, after a brief chat, Krasrockski leaves. Elon Rock asks Dwayne James what is wrong with the simulation, to which Dwayne James replies there is nothing wrong.

In Jeff Rock's reality, the Martha Dwaynes decide the Elon Rock simulation has been righted. The Dwaynes return to the base to report to Steve "The Rock" Johnson, and they congratulate him on a job well done. Steve isn't certain that it was the right decision to make everyone The Rock, and the Dwaynes celebrate his vulnerability and decide on another reboot ("All of Us," to the tune of Joan Osborne's "One of Us").

**Show/Hide**
## Musical Cast

### Jessica McKenna

* Bather #2
* Assistant James
* Martha #1
* The Rock Bather #2
* Martha Dwayne #1
* Assistant Dwayne James

### Tawny Newsome

* Bather Claire
* Jeff Bezos
* Base Receptionist Martha
* The Rock Bather Claire
* Jeff Rock
* John Krasrockski
* Base Receptionist Martha Dwayne

### Zach Reino

* Bather #1
* Elon Musk
* Martha #2
* Steve Bezos
* The Rock Bather #1
* Martha Dwayne #2
* Elon Rock
* Steve "The Rock" Johnson

## Songs

* "Three Things (You Love About Hot Springs)" (06:28)
* "Put the Rock in *Men in Black*" (11:11)
* "The Rock Should Have Been in *The Matrix*" (14:14)
* "Safe Springs" (15:53)
* "Everything's a Simulation (Ft. Elon Musk)" (20:20)
* "You Made Me Question If I'm Real (Ft. Jeff Bezos)" (25:40)
* "What Makes a Martha?" (33:20)
* "Steve Bezos, the Beginning and End of All Things" (37:20)
* "Don't Be Afraid of a Reboot" (42:17)
* "IMDb (Internet Movie Dwaynebase)" (48:00)
* "All of Us" (55:56)

Closing Song:

* "Monkeys in a Hot Spring" (Men in Black) (1:03:30)

## Trivia

* This episode features the first and only episode of *Subway Hacks with Jess McKenna*