Paddock 9

### Alternative Team Names

Warwick Kswiss Tubes (2011), Boats and Hoes JV (2012), The Enforcers (2013), The Showoffs (2014)

## Overview

Paddock 9 was one of the founding teams of the League of Champions. They are a storied franchise who has suffered through some of the worst seasons in the League. A year in and year out underachiever, P9 has been the constant recipiant of terrible luck and tough schedules. Paddock 9 is a notoriously aggressive trader, though the team's records speak for themselves as far as how successful trading has been over the course of the team's five year history. Despite all the poor seasons, Paddock 9 ownership maintains its dedication and optimism and stands by statements of upcoming success and a Championship Game win.

## Started From the Bottom (2011 Season)

Labeled as a team "built from risky picks," Paddock 9's 2011 squad featured the second lowest-scoring QB in the league behind Josh Flacco (who played for ma ma momma said). Freeman came in for the injured Mike Vick and although he put up better numbers he failed to break 700 points in a season where elite QBs were topping 1,000. P9 was the only team that featured two players on the final roster who failed to reach 100 points. They also finished with the most players under 200 points (9).

P9 got their first win against the winless ma ma momma said in an event that was billed as the "Bottom of the Barrel Brawl." They backed it up by beating bob's bananas the following week, breathing life into a floundering franchise. Now they were 2-3 and sat in the same position as 4 other teams, tied for the 6th playoff spot.

That was as close as they would get. Paddock 9 did not win another game in the regular season. Late in the year, because of a depleted secondary, Paddock 9 WR Julian Edelman spent more time playing defense than offense. This was just one of many problems with a team that had an awful draft and could never recover.

After losing the opening round of the Consolation Tournament, Paddock 9 found themselves facing fellow bottom dweller ma ma momma said once again. If there was nothing else to be taken from the 2011 season, it was that they didn't finish last. they thrashed MMMS in the 11th place game and finished the season on a miniature high note.

Paddock 9 may have avoided last place, but their league leading nine-game losing streak still stands to this day. while Fire Goodell was making their mark with the longest winning streak ever, Paddock 9 was sinking further and further into oblivion.

## StatTrackerGate

On opening weekend in 2015, things didn't look good for Paddock 9. Coming out of the draft hopes were high that this would finally be the breakout season for a franchise who had only seen one playoff appearance in four seasons. While some of his guys looked like they were solid picks, Steve Smith Jr. and Markus Wheaton were among a core group that came up lame in week 1.

Heading into the final game of the week, Paddock 9 needed something extraordinary to happen. San Francisco's Carlos Hyde would need to somehow accumulate 47.77 points in order for P9 to beat rookie TEAM MANBEARPIG. Basically he would have to have the best game of his career.

Carlos Hyde had the best game of his career.

Rushing for 168 yards and 2 touchdowns, Hyde racked up dozens of points. On the final clock-killing drive of the game, Paddock 9's owner McAteer was reviewing team progress on StatTracker while Commish DiGennaro viewed updates via the regular matchup page. The stats didn't match up. On Hyde's last touch of the game, StatTracker read that Paddock 9 had taken the lead, while the match up page read 239.19-240.55 (advantage MANBEARPIG). Elation turned to confusion and then horror. StatTracker was, it turns out, an inaccurate representation of the live stats and the score were therefore unofficial. Paddock 9 had lost the game after thinking they'd pulled off the improbable victory, a gut punch that would only feel worse as the season went on.

## The Monday Night Miracle

Paddock 9 was ready to call it quits on the 2015 season. Five of their starters had drastically underperformed against week four opponant #FreeOJ. At 0-4, Paddock 9 would have to go 6-3 or 7-2 the rest of the way to have a shot at the playoffs.

On Monday, October 5, 2015, with the season on the line, Paddock 9 brought an 8.14 point lead into a Monday Night game in which their opponant (#FreeOJ) had starting RB Marshawn Lynch going for Seattle. However, a hamstring kept Lynch out of the game. Unfortunately for P9, #FreeOJ had planned for this and substituted in backup starter Thomas Rawls. Rawls was coming off of a stellar performance in relief against Chicago in which he rushed 16 times for 104 yards. Within the parameters of the 2015 scoring system, Rawls would only need to run for 66 yards or 17 yards and a touchdown.

Rawls had more touches in the game than in the previous week but was held to only 2.8 yards a carry, well below his season average. Rawls day ended when on the final drive of the Detroit Lions day, Calvin Johnson fumbled the ball out of the back of the endzone and secured the win for Seattle. Paddock 9 barely escaped with their season's life, winning the game by a 1.24 after Rawls managed just 48 yards on the day.

## Open Paddock 9!

The Monday Night Miracle had given Paddock 9 new life, but that flame was quickly extinguished with back to back losses to the top-tier teams Shotti Bunch and momma said. In the process, they began thinking about next season. Desperate to deal players for picks, Paddock 9 dumped off Chris Ivory for Darren Sproles and a high 2016 draft pick. The move sparked some controversy in the league as many believed it to be an unbalanced and unfair trade that loaded number one seeded GaroppoblowMe with the final piece of the puzzle needed to go all the way. Both teams involved were quick to point out Ivory's love of leg injuries.

They also managed to grab a draft pick from Reign Maker, who unloaded Cooks in exchange for breakout star Stefon Diggs. No one made any remarks regarding this trade and it was viewed fair and balanced.

At two wins, no one gave the team much chance for success, especially the team owner's themselves. However, they broke the 200-point line in weeks 7 and 8 and recorded back to back wins for the first time all season. Their 279.78 point performance in week seven was the franchise's best game in their five year history.

Back to life and back in action, Paddock 9 now needed to beat the reeling Deez Sons of Bitchez and they would be in a playoff spot with four weeks remaining. Instead of continuing their hot streak they put up the 9th lowest regular season point total in LOC history. They completely choked. They benched TY Hilton, who was expected to sit out until about thirty minutes before game time, and he went ahead and outscored his projection by 16 points. Eddie Lacy, who was looking more and more like a bust as the weeks went on, scored negative points. Floyd, the WR substituted in for Hilton, scored 0.

## Close Paddock 9!

The days of winning were over for the 2015 regular season. Fire Goodell, previously thought of as the laughing stock of the league, began to heat up and swapped places with Paddock 9. Paddock 9 was by far the worst team the league saw in 2015. Over the course of their last five games they didn't break 180. They lost to three teams who would finish the season below .500. In trying to play spoiler, P9 ended up helping their opponents more than hurting them. Teams looked forward to taking their crack at Paddock 9.

Eddie Lacy was the biggest headache of all. The one week that he was benched, he put up a season high 20.10. If they had started Lacy the team would have won. They had benched their win several times this season. The next week Lacy again got the start and beat put up 30.53, a new season high. This was week 12 and Paddock 9 felt good about his chances of beating GaroppoblowMe. At that point he had already been eliminated from playoff contention but was hoping to rob GBM of their bye. Lacy, going on Thursday night for the Pack, gave them the early lead. That lead quickly vanished on sunday when a couple of GBM's players had huge touchdowns. Still, Eddie Lacy was heating up, right? In week 13 Lacy scored just 1.20 points.

So 2015 didn't go as planned for Paddock 9. Early on their team was performing well but coming up short. Then, one too many roster moves cut the level of talent to a point where the team could no longer produce the points needed to win. Of the four teams that played in the Consolation Tournament in 2014, Paddock 9 was the only one to return.

## **Franchise Statistics**

The below table shows regular-season statistics for the entire history of the franchise. As a result, the team's record breaking nine-game losing streak is not represented. That is because the ninth game of the streak came in the opening round of the Consolation Tournament and thus does not count towards the regular season losing streak, which is still a record-breaking eight.