Wizard 27

**Chapter 27**

So Richard and Kahlan are scheduled to become Mud People, and they'll hold the council of seers the next night. There's a description of the village:

*“Torches lit the platforms of the pole buildings, and large fires set about the open area snapped and popped, throwing off fluttering shadows. Kahlan knew it was a lot of work to haul in wood for cooking and kiln fires, and most were kept small. This was an extravagance the Mud People rarely witnessed.”*

Again the note that wood is scarce and valuable on the plains (but not too scarce to make doors out of!!). One wonders why their fires are wood fires, then? Many native cultures, from the Plains tribes to various Asian cultures, burned dried animal dung. It worked fine for them for hundreds of years; it should work for the Squishy Soil People.

There's music and merrymaking, and Kahlan angsts about how alone she is as a Confessor. She muses that it feels good to be accepted as a Wet Earth Person, “even if it was only pretense.” So...I guess Kahlan isn't taking this seriously, then. She's only pretending, in order to get the Ethnic Backlash People to do what she wants. \~/

Our heroine, folks.

They eat. Kahlan refuses to eat any meat, but tells Richard what the various cuts are. I have a bad feeling about this.

Four Mud People girls (Mud Girls?) approach Richard, and it turns out he has to pick one to be his wife. My, but the Mud People move quickly. When told of this, Richard gets a big stupid grin on his face and starts asking Kahlan to help him pick. Kahlan feels mad at herself and Richard.

The Soggy Turf People bring out a dish of dried meat, and Richard takes a bite. He asks Kahlan what animal it is, and she tells him *“firefighter.”* It turns out that firefighters are the men who enforce Darken Rahl's insane “fire is illegal” law, and the 1930s Cliché People took exception to the idea. Yes, the mud-covered, skin-wearing, bow-hunting, leaky-roof-having, ancestor-worshiping tribe in the Wilds are also cannibals.

\~/

Richard tells Kahlan to get him an apple while he ogles the Mud Girls some more. She angrily gets him an apple, and only as he bites into it does she remember that apples are red, and red fruit is poison. The Damp Soil People are freaking out, but Richard explains that everyone in the Midlands eats red fruit. He also hints that it might make his semen poisonous to a Midlands woman, but he's willing to try it out. The elders decide to suspend the requirement for Richard.

For someone so dedicated to the ideal of truth, Richard sure has no problem with deception. He never flat-out lied, but he sure implied heavily enough. \~/

Kahlan cries on the Bird Man of Alcatraz's shoulder, and he tells her to apologize, that Richard is hurting as well. He gives her his bird-calling whistle to give to Richard, along with an apology for...something. I'm not sure what the Bird Man has to apologize for. One of the Mud Girls was his niece, so maybe that has something to do with it.

Kahlan finds Richard, who's in the spirit house, the one building with a tile roof. She apologizes and that's that. Then she gets coy and says that *“Adie said you have the magic of the tongue.”* My first impulse is to point out that the characters themselves are picking up on the innuendo, but Adie said that Kahlan had the magic of the tongue, not Richard. Of course, “magic of the teeth” sounds a lot less sexy.

So Kahlan basically attempts to seduce Richard, in a scene that I actually have no problem with. There has been some romantic/sexual tension shown between these two characters, and it's believable and decently-written. Kahlan is about to lose her hold on her Magical Mystery Power, but she doesn't seem to care. The Richard insists that she tell him what she is before they do the deed. This shocks Kahlan back to sanity, and she promises to tell Richard, but not tonight. They cuddle. Aww, how sweet.

Hey, if Richard and Kahlan are Mud People, doesn't that mean they have to smear magic mud all over themselves now? Isn't that, like, the defining trait of the Wet Dirt People? It's their freaking name, after all. \~/

Drinks: 4

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