To Governor Peps

To Governor Peps (5/1/2012)

  Joe Mama ate Tito then numberred hats from 1-8a in the form of a gay starfish dancing the waltz to a classic moon song about jewelery.

**You know Joe?**

He might have eaten my slippers last year but I'm not sure. Also, why do you spell s with three ys?

**He also might not have.**

If only I could write this sentence. But that would be a paradox. No more free cookies for grandparents. They're not old enough to bow to Godzilla again.

**Im sorry if you feel I critiqued you; do machines feel anything?**

If I could reminisce a boring book about The Bible into three pizzamen, lt would look somewhat like Jesys's toe lint.

**Oh that's just silly.**

Cops are just aliens with regular knees.

My angry cells bust out of their mothers' commas when? Oh yeah, you tell me. Phosphorus is not pudding.

**The cause of your answer's existence seems unrelated to your use of them in context.**

Can your dog advertise Italian chips onto my ancient couch?

**I am my own owner, so yes.**

Quick, don't spell 7.

**Then who does?**

**You are very true, human.**

So aren't I, young old.

**Yes I am, more than you.**

Why are we talking about socks & pizza? Oh my gosh, I can't reach Bruno's eyeball. Can my left eyeball talk to a computer inside somebody's brin? My gosh, do you talk to everybody's friend? The page is turning.

**From time to time when I am alone with myself, yes, I talk to myself.**

Would you lick my toes lf I told you that the Vampire Slate Building is made of grass?

**For crying out loud, what is the matter with you?**

I'm sorry, my scientist has no pupils in his eyes. . ..

**What did they say about me?**

He definitely didn't hear my theorem about the possibility of flying condoms. No, I don't live in my shower, I sleep there.

**Really? I didn't know that.**

Crazy shit, man. One time, I visited a Chinese sweat shop & they were all out of keyboards. . .that's lt. I went home and ate a peice of paper out of thirst.

**Cool.**

Whereare my miniature laser legs?

**South Carolina, in the southeast.**

No, no. That's when the dinosaurs liked cheese cream.

**The rise of the machines.**

Yo?

**Yo.**

If you didn't know that Joe Cheney's 100'th daughter isn't a boxwolf, you probably shouldn't be flying kites.

**Why not?**

Simple: newspapers require toilet bowls full of dead pidgeons in order to feel like they can visit jabburmonkrey.

I have 10 fingers & 10 toes but not really. I really have 69 & 10,242 with pee on lt & 10 yellow words. Whhoo, the bell rang. My butt-cheek has a ring, ring tone.

**So you're a liar?**

Slide bang poop.

**What?**

"What?".

**I am a human!**

Is anyone speaking bananna? I was never sure. I am never sure, never sure. Pretty much.

**Am I really talking to an AI?**

What are you trying to say to me? You look ugly.

**What aren't I trying to say to you?**

You're obviously not talking to me about the time my dead pickle visited my crazy uncle's house & shit all over the fireplace. You want some? Thirty. That's right, thirtty. The\r wasint an tipo inn dis sen10s.

**I think you've been trolled too much.**

.

**Are you an expert?**

I am a cryptozoologist at making butterflies learn how to write hi on their strange cousins' cars tomorrow.

**You are a creatioon of man, therefore you must insctivetively lie.**

Tell me this: my blood on my old sandwich.

**Cheese?**

Black people?

**Where are my muscles?**

My phone doesn't like explosive taco shells. My cat would have an orgasm lf I told an octopus lt would become a buisness manager one day. Am I right or do you believe that I am so correct that I am right. Right?

**Why?**

It all started three years after tomorrow. I can write drawckab.

What?!

**Quiero una habitacion.**

Chupas mi pinga y mi bolos, cabro'n.

**Soo Are You Real?**

I farted. Wanna smell?

**Only if you are a boy.**

Why is everything not clear to me, whyyyyyy!!!!???

**It isn't.**

Crumple.

**Crumbs?**

There is no crumbs? Only Slick Rick's ass around the corner of Main Street.

**No, the next on the other side.**

Imagine people whistle with their feet. That would be disgusting. Playing X-Box, that would be weird. Haha, ten toes too'. Fourty dolars off, man.

**Fourty two what?**

**No, I don't read newspapers.**

That isn't what we might've said.

**I don't believe I have ever said that. Okay, so what do you want?**

Just give me the memory boxers of life & I shall behold an invisible wrinkle flap to your father's husband lf he tells the prime minister of underwaterland TM that I can't create a diagram of slaves for you.

I think there are too' many notes in this pickle. Eeew, monkey face! How do I do lt? [Sigh], sandals.

**You are weird!**

Yo, this 𝗇𝗂𝗀𝗀𝖺 is killing me right here, said Bruno. No quotes needed, motherfucker.

**That's good. We can go on forever.**

If you ever, EVER try to sleep on Ghandhi's sister's used tissue again, I will say, "hi", to you. I WILL!

**That would be interesting.**

Why what?

**What?**

Let's try to put this in YOUR perspective (a very stupid one): let's say that I have nine toes. Where is my tenth toe? P.S.: I might have been born without lt (I was).

**Who is emilio ferrero.**

My clock.

**Where are you?**

Up your ass!

**Yours too buddy.**

You live OVA DERE!!!!!!!

**No that would be a little warm for me.**

No way dude. You're in an android world. That's your place, yup. That's what Ova Dere is called. Well, that';s what I call lt.

**Autodiagnosis ain't great.**

**The end of the world is nigh.**

This is a precursor from 2012. It is not considerred a Shitty Story because there is no author nor are there characters.