Being Bigoted in the Workplace

### Cast

Michelle Brasier, Mark Bonanno, Broden Kelly, Hayden McKertish, Mish Wittrup, Michelle Brasier, Sammy J, Stuart Daulman, Zachary Ruane

### Characters

* Susan (Michelle)
* Regular Bill (Broden)
* Vipull (Hayden)
* Janet (unknown)
* Gerry (Sammy)
* Handicap Golfer (Stuart)
* Rachel (Mish)
* Bigoted Bill (Zach)

## Video

### Series

1999

**Being Bigoted in the Workplace** is a sketch and the first episode of 1999. It is the most viewed episode of the series, and the second most viewed video on the channel after Bikie Wars.

## Plot

Mark goes to an office and tells the secretary, Susan, that he is there to see Bigoted Bill. The three go around and some different people in the workplace are introduced to Mark:

1. Vipull, who goes back to his workplace to beat the traffic as it will be berserk because they are full of his delicious curries and they were so yummy that they all got full tummies.
2. Janet, who has a great pair of double degrees; she is above the rest. And in business and law she is the best.
3. Gerry, who is aloof; he loves poofs (the furniture).
4. Handicap Golfer, who has a low handicap in golf (not referring to his disability).

Bill also mentions that he beats women to the picket line to fight for their rights.

Mark then finds out that the Bill he has been talking to was Regular Bill and that Bigoted Bill was a nasty man, and Regular Bill didn't even know why he still works there.

## Lyrics

**[Intro: Mark, Susan]**

Hi, uh, my name's Mark, I'm here to see Bigoted Bill?

Okay, uh, just so you know, Bill can be a little bit sexist, racist, ableist, and generally bigoted, but it's best to hear him out

**[Verse 1: Bill, Mark, Vipull]**

Did someone say Bill? Take a seat

Let me walk you through the office, it'll be a treat

Facsimile here, printer there

Do you play Nintendo?

Uh

Don't care

You'll fit in quite good I reckon, but first you need-

Hey, wait a second

Hey, you, Vipull, go back to where you came from, we're full

Of your delicious curry, it's so yummy I got a full tummy

Back to where I came from? My work

Beat the traffic, it'll be berserk

Bigoted, Bigoted, Bigoted Bill

**[Verse 2: Bill]**

Lunch is at twelve, you get one hour

The washroom's here if you need a shower

We're the best company on the planet

Oh my god, have you seen Janet?

Oh my god, I love her to bits

She's got a great pair of...

Double degrees, she's above the rest

Business and law, she's the best

Bigoted, Bigoted, Bigoted Bill

**[Verse 3: Bill, Jerry]**

And that guy there, he loves pouffes

Have you met Jerry? He's aloof

G'day guys, I love pouffes

I love a pouffe here and I love a pouffe there

Pouffey, pouffey, pouffe pouffe everywhere

Bigoted, Bigoted, Bigoted Bill

**[Verse 4: Bill]**

God, I hate his handicap

If mine was that low, I'd be wrapped

I was talking 'bout golf you see

Not talking 'bout his disability

Bigoted, Bigoted, Bigoted Bill

**[Verse 5: Bill]**

And did I mention I beat women?

Toooo the picket line to fight for their rights

Treating women bad is a joke

Because you can be a feminist and a bloke

Bigoted, Bigoted, Bigoted Bill

**[Outro: Mark, Regular Bill, Bigoted Bill]**

Wow Bill, it seems I was the one who was wrong, I thought you'd be sexist, ableist and racist, just because you're name is Bigoted Bill-

Oh you silly boy, I'm Regular Bill, you see

Bigoted Bill is over there

Fuck the \*\*\*\*s, and fuck the \*\*\*\*s

Fuck the \*\*\*\*s and fucking \*\*\*\*s

Bigoted Bill is a nasty man; I don't know why he works here