Mee's Birthday

### Characters (in order of appearance)

Tahoma Fresh, The Commander, Mee, Allon, Space Tree, Random McPerson (Cameo), Reginald, Black Kid (Cameo), Alien (cameo), Johnny (cameo), Pinkfrosting88 (easter egg)

## Credits

### This episode contained voices:

Kagome............................Tahoma, Pinkfrosting
Dumblin................................Commander, CSD

It's Mee's birthday, and he totally doesn't want a party, so Tahoma and Commander plan one for him. No, wait, now he wants one.

## Transcript

*(Tahoma Fresh enters, humming, she is wearing a towel and holding her mic; she has apparently just gotten out of the shower.)*

**Commander:** Hi Tahoma! Nice towel!

**Tahoma:** Uh.. hi, do I know you? *(As she speaks, she leans toward a button on the wall labelled "RAPE ALERT")*

**Commander:** It's me, the Commander, you know? Mee Marone's best friend? *(The Commander holds up a picture of Mee with a moustache)*

**Tahoma:** *(Satisfied, she backs away from the button.)* Oh, right, Commander. Of course. Why are you here?

**Commander:** Well, Mee's birthday's tomorrow, so I thought we could organize his birthday party. For some reason, nobody on Space Tree's ship wanted to help.

**Tahoma:** Really? Well, I asked him if he wanted a party last week, and he just said: "Birthday parties are for gays". No offense.

**Commander:** Well, clearly that was just a lie to cover his true feelings. Everybody wants a birthday party, especially those who specifically say they don't want one.

**Tahoma:** That's exactly what I thought! I mean, he seemed to like that party we had that one time.

**Commander:** You guys had a party? How come I wasn't invited?

**Tahoma:** Well, this was a different kind of party, where a group of midgets came over and *(Tahoma turns her hair dryer on, obscuring her words for a moment. When she finishes her hair is in its usual shape)* ... and that's why neither of us could walk for a week.

**Commander:** Oh, well anyway, I was thinking we should have the party in that big room on Space Tree's ship.

**Tahoma:** Of course! The place he'd least suspect. *(as Tahoma says this, the Commander's pupils slowly move down )*

*(Screen Flip. We are now in the big room of Space Tree's ship. Tahoma has changed into her Channel J clothing.)*

**Commander:** I think we can have a banner there that says "Happy Birthday Meelord" *(As he says this, a banner appears in the corner reading "H-PPY B-DAY M-LORD")*, or like, a clown in the corner there making balloon animals (Black Kid materializes with KLOWN on his shirt, holding a pink balloon animal) *, over there we could have a pin the tail on the Allon --*

**Tahoma:** *(Tahoma had wandered off, she now enters holding posters that say "MEE'S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!::BYOBBB" and a picture of Mee saying "I approve this message".)* First things first. We need to put up these flyers all over the ship so people actually know about the party.

**Commander:** Really? I was just thinking we could announce it over the intercom thing.

**Tahoma:** Trust me Commander, you don't hold a microphone for 10 years without learning a little something about advertising.

**Commander:** Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot you had a microphone.

*(Scene change, we see entering a doorway. One of Tahoma's posters hangs on the wall in the medical bay, next to Dr. Mee Marone's "Licensed" "Doctor" "real certificate".)*

**Mee:** What the shit is this?

**Mee:** *(Approaching Commander)* Hey, I thought I told you, no birthday parties.

**Commander:** Yeah, I know what you said. "No birthday parties". *(He makes air quotes with his second arm. His first arm is hanging a poster.)* Wink~!

**Mee:** Yeah, I guess my reverse Pie-chology worked. *(Turns and walks away)* I'll see you tomorrow. This gay-ass party is going to be awesome.

**Commander:** Yep, it sure is. Wait a second... *(A third, black hand supports Commander's chin)*

*(Scene Transition)*

**Commander:** You see, now he's saying he LIKES the idea of a birthday party.

**Tahoma:** *(Hanging aforementioned "H-PPY B-DAY" banner)* Well, yeah, that's a good thing.

**Commander:** Well normally it would be, but clearly its just a lie to cover up his true feelings. Nobody really wants a birthday party. Especially those who specifically say they DO want one.

**Tahoma:** No, I think he actually wants a birthday party, Commander.

**Commander:** Look, Tahoma, Meelord and I are pretty close friends, y'know. A pretty personal connection. Way more personal than you. It's like... I can read him like a book. And I read lots of books. That's how I got the nick name, Bookworm-zander.

**Tahoma:** You have a personal connection with him, do you? *(Commander nods)* Sorry, but I believe I am the only one here who has swallowed -- *(A hair dryer is heard again offscreen, obfuscating Tahoma's speech.)* -- while wearing a blindfold!

**Allon:** *(Allon is seen wearing a towel and holding a hair dryer.)* Whoa, a blindfold! Sheez. I'll just go dry my hair in another room.

**Commander:** Well I'm not going to let you ruin Meelord's birthday wishes with some party that he doesn't even want. This is HIS special day, not yours.

**Tahoma:** *(Sighs)* If you don't want to be involved with the party anymore, that's fine. I can handle it myself. I have a microphone.

**Commander:** Fine then, you handle your precious party. And I'll handle myself! All night long.

*(Scene transition. Space Tree's ship is shown from the outside briefly before going back to the big room on Space Tree's ship.)*

**Space Tree:** Nice work setting up this party, Tahoma. Too bad about the turnout.

**Tahoma:** Where the hell is everybody? You'd almost think that nobody on this ship even cares about Meelord!

**Space Tree:** Well tha'ts not true, I mean... I ... kind of... tolerate him. And besides, more people are going to show up soon. The party's only been going for... 3 hours. Hey look, here's someone now!

**Random McPerson:** *(Enters, then stops.)* Oh wait, this isn't the space orgy. Ehh. *(Backs out)*

**Space Tree:** Uh, well anyway, its kind of weird the Commander hasn't shown up. Marone not coming to his own party I can understand, but I wonder where the Commander is. I wonder... *(Camera begins zoom of Space Tree)* I wonder if we can see that right now.

*(Scene Transition. There is a new, unknown ship flying through space.)*

**Mee:** God, are we going to get to this party soon or what? We've been traveling for like, 3 hours.

**Commander:** Right, because you really want to go to some gay-ass birthday party, right? Heh, yeah. I get it, wink.

**Mee:** Yeah, at first I thought it would kind of suck, especially since I don't even know when my actual birthday is, I just make up some random date whenever people ax about it, but it's been a few years since I had a birthday party, so maybe it'll be pretty cool, who knows?

**Commander:** Wait, so, you actually DO want a birthday party?

**Mee:** Well that's what I fuckin' said.

**Commander:** But before you said... Augh! Stop sending me these mixed signals!

*(Scene Transition back to Space Tree's ship. Tahoma sits at a table beside a spoon of sugar looking dejected.)*

**Tahoma:** Well, I guess he's not coming. Somehow, I knew he wouldn't...

**Allon:** Hey, he's here!

**Tahoma:** *(Instantly happy again)* Happy Birthday, Meelord! I knew you'd show up eventually!

**Mee:** Yeah hi so uh, where's the free birthday booze?

**Reginald:** Here ya go man. There's a whole table over there.

**Mee:** Thanks. Hey, looks like a pretty good turnout here.

**Reginald:** Well actually it was Allon here that convinced me and Pink frosting along with several other nameless characters to come here *(Screen cuts away to Alien and Johnny)* against our better judgement. So you should be thanking him.

**Mee:** Really? Thanks Elvin. I know I always call you a fat piece of shit, but after all this party stuff you've done for me, I guess you're actually a pretty cool piece of shit.

**Reginald:** Also, Pink Frosting and Space Tree are totally making out over there. So you should check that out too.

**Mee:** Heh, a crooked-mouthed tentacle chick making out with a tree? If this were a cartoon, that would be some pretty hilarious animation.

**Tahoma:** Well, it looks like everything turned out all-right.

**Commander:** Hey! I was just thinking that.

**Random McPerson:** Yeah, you wanna know what I was just thinkin'?

**Commander:** No.

**Random McPerson:** Are you SUUUUUURRRRRREEEEEE?

**Commander:** Yes.

**Random McPerson:** This party sucks anyway.

*(End Credits)*

## Easter Eggs

* At the end, right-click (with Windows) and select play to see part of a deleted scene with PF88.
* *(Close up of a bug on the floor who walks toward PinkFrosting. The bug is stepped on by Tahoma.)*
* **Tahoma:** Oh hi. PurpleFrosting, right?
* **PinkFrosting:** Whatever.
* **Tahoma:** So, are you looking forward to Meelord's party.
* **PinkFrosting:** Not really.
* **Tahoma:** Did you get him a present yet?
* **PinkFrosting:** Look, Tahoma --
* When the Commander is putting up the posters for Mee's Birthday party, when the Commander first turns his head, outside the frame reads: "that commander side view looks pretty bad someone should fix that"

## Fun Facts

* In between the time the Commander says "Fine then" and "all night long", outside of the border there is a spinning commander's head lip synching the actual commander's words.