In-Character Interview Questions

Answer questions for the fun of it, because Coyote wants to know the answers.

Make a section for your character. To create a collapsible text, put it into the source editor like this:

`{| class="wikitable mw-collapsible mw-collapsed"
! Heading

Coyote works a 12-hour nightshift tonight. Make some entertaining answers for him to come back to, minions.

1. Where do you see yourself in five years?
2. What's your biggest weakness?
3. What's your greatest strength?
4. What is your greatest achievement?
5. What keeps you up at night?
6. If you were thrown into a gladiator pit and had to fight one person to death bare-handed in order to escape, who would you pick?
7. What's your dream job?
8. Are you a convicted felon? If so, how and why? If not, how did you get away with it?
9. How would your coworkers describe you?
10. What do you like to do outside of work?
11. If you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
12. It's midnight, you just killed a high-ranking noble, you're alone, and have an hour to get rid of this dead body before his family notices he's missing. What do you do?
13. Do you ever see yourself taking a leadership position in this party? What kind of leader are you?
14. If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
15. If you had a bagel, how would you eat it? Cream cheese, dried fruit, cheese and meat, plain, toasted, untoasted?
16. A dragon curses you with a magical slave-cuff that forces you to murder your closest loved one. Who do you kill?

## Answers

A close confidant of the archbishop, the spymaster, the lawmaster, and perhaps even the prince! It's so important to me to serve the city of Skyport.
2. What's your biggest weakness?
I'm so generous I often forget to take care of myself while focusing on the needs of others.
3. What's your greatest strength?
My outstanding people skills. I win everyone over with my charms.
4. What is your greatest achievement?
It's so hard to pick just one. Perhaps the time I single-handedly slew a clockwork dragon who was guarding airship blueprints in the city of Whitehelm. I'll never forget the look on my boss's face when I delivered the blueprints to her, singed and still smelling faintly of smoke.
5. What keeps you up at night?
I'm afraid I don't understand the question. The implication is that I suffer from insomnia, and I'd be very curious to know who gave you that information. Can I have their names, please?
6. If you were thrown into a gladiator pit and had to fight one person to death bare-handed in order to escape, who would you pick?
Probably a kid, but an evil kid. I'm not very strong.
7. What's your dream job?
Adviser to Skyport's movers and shakers, of course.
8. Are you a convicted felon? If so, how and why? If not, how did you get away with it?
Why, yes; at the age of eighteen I fell unexpectedly on hard times, and after a bout of poverty and hunger I decided to do the unthinkable and steal a few coins off an unsuspecting fellow citizen. Thankfully I was caught and given the opportunity to work in service to the church. I was reformed, and am now a holy man. It is always inspiring to see how people can change, don't you agree?
9. How would your coworkers describe you?
They would say that I'm passionate, loyal to my company, and a creative problem-solver. Bit of a risk-taker, too. They don't always agree with my choices, but isn't that true of all great innovators?
10. What do you like to do outside of work?
Heal the sick and feed the hungry.
11. If you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
I've always admired cats and their ability to escape from tight places, as well as their uncanny survival skills. Slippery little bastards. Er, uh, pardon my language. Do you mind if I curse a time or two? No? Slippery little bastards, it is.
12. It's midnight, you just killed a high-ranking noble, you're alone, and have an hour to get rid of this dead body before his family notices he's missing. What do you do?
This question assumes a certain degree of incompetence and lack of careful planning on my part. Are you implying the death was unexpected? In that case, natural causes such as advanced age or disease almost certainly played a part. Fortunately, as a healer, I can perform a thorough post-mortem examination to help the family get right to the cause. People sleep easier at night knowing the truth about a loved ones' demise and being able to rule out any foul play. Still a tragedy, of course, when death is sudden like that. I would be happy to lead them in a comforting prayer.
13. Do you ever see yourself taking a leadership position in this party? What kind of leader are you?
I am a natural leader, because I'm usually the only person with any good ideas.
14. If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
World peace. I know exactly how it can be achieved, too. There are a few obstacles who need to be removed.
15. If you had a bagel, how would you eat it? Cream cheese, dried fruit, cheese and meat, plain, toasted, untoasted?
Is this really supposed to reveal something important about me? I just eat the goddamn bagel. Who gives a shit?
16. A dragon curses you with a magical slave-cuff that forces you to murder your closest loved one. Who do you kill?
Fuck off. I don't want this fucking job anymore.

Hopefully I will have found a job that allows me to settle down.
2. What's your biggest weakness?
I've heard I'm difficult to make friends with.
3. What's your greatest strength?
I'm reliable. I get the job done. Assuming I work alone, I should say.
4. What is your greatest achievement?
Still being alive, I suppose.
5. What keeps you up at night?
Usually making plans.
6. If you were thrown into a gladiator pit and had to fight one person to death bare-handed in order to escape, who would you pick?
Azriel. (Just kidding.)
7. What's your dream job?
I'm not sure I have one. Working for pay is never a dream situation, is it?
8. Are you a convicted felon? If so, how and why? If not, how did you get away with it?
Well, there's no one easy answer to this question.
9. How would your coworkers describe you?
Competent and fearless. I've also heard "bossy," but that's mainly from relatives.
10. What do you like to do outside of work?
Take walks, eat good food, listen to music. At the Sanctuary I was learning to enjoy gardening.
11. If you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
A panther.
12. It's midnight, you just killed a high-ranking noble, you're alone, and have an hour to get rid of this dead body before his family notices he's missing. What do you do?
I'm sorry, I need more information to be able to answer the question. I need details on the location, the number of other people in the building, their ages and occupations, the surrounding landscape, the time of year, current weather… If you have a floorplan and map of the area, I can sketch out a basic plan for you, but you have to understand that unforeseen circumstances often arise, and I prefer to keep some options open.
13. Do you ever see yourself taking a leadership position in this party? What kind of leader are you?
I am comfortable being a leader when it's required of me, yes. I'm willing to make hard decisions.
14. If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
I'm not comfortable responding to this question. Moving on.
15. If you had a bagel, how would you eat it? Cream cheese, dried fruit, cheese and meat, plain, toasted, untoasted?
Toasted with cream cheese and jam. I'm assuming jam is an option.
16. A dragon curses you with a magical slave-cuff that forces you to murder your closest loved one. Who do you kill?
If I only say one name in response to this question, it's going to start an argument.

Bold of you to assume I’m still alive in five years.
2. What's your biggest weakness?
Seriously? Look at me. You wanna poke fun at my size, huh? How fuckin’ original.
3. What's your greatest strength?
Counter question. You missing your wallet perchance?
4. What is your greatest achievement?
You mean like, work-wise? I can’t really talk about that, y’ know? I mean, I could tell you but you wouldn't get to enjoy that knowledge for very long.
5. What keeps you up at night?
Work. And my partner snoring.
6. If you were thrown into a gladiator pit and had to fight one person to death bare-handed in order to escape, who would you pick?
There’s this guy called Jehosephet Howard, you know him? Goes by Howie. Real squishy boy.
7. What's your dream job?
Doing what I do now, except without all the shitty parts.
8. Are you a convicted felon? If so, how and why? If not, how did you get away with it?
By being too damn good, duh.
9. How would your coworkers describe you?
Got called ‘vicious little shit’ one time. Took that as a compliment.
10. What do you like to do outside of work?
I liked hanging out at the Grumpy Sausage until it got blown up. Got some other place to go, though. Ripping off the orcs at the Greenhand’s is fun.
11. If you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
A rat. They can get in everywhere. Smart little fuckers.
12. It's midnight, you just killed a high-ranking noble, you're alone, and have an hour to get rid of this dead body before his family notices he's missing. What do you do?
Man, that’d depend on a lot of things. Don’t suppose you ever had to do that, huh? Well, if I’m in the right neighborhood, there’s a few folks I know would help out. If not, probably make sure nothing points to me and just fucking leave.
13. Do you ever see yourself taking a leadership position in this party? What kind of leader are you?
Fuck, do I look like herding around a bunch of disaster hobos? Nah, thanks. If I have to, I guess I’d just tell ‘em to do shit. What else would I do?
14. If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
More wishes.
15. If you had a bagel, how would you eat it? Cream cheese, dried fruit, cheese and meat, plain, toasted, untoasted?
Uhm, toasted and cheese? What the hell kind of interview question is that?
16. A dragon curses you with a magical slave-cuff that forces you to murder your closest loved one. Who do you kill?
The DM who came up with that shit.

[Raef smiles tenderly as he thinks of his answer] Living with my husband on a small lot of land and raising our children.
2. What's your biggest weakness?
I don’t always work well with others.
3. What's your greatest strength?
Improvisation.
4. What is your greatest achievement?
Helping raise Gwydion. He’s a good elf.
5. What keeps you up at night?
**Lie:** Nothing. I sleep pretty well at night.
**Truth:** My husband’s screams as he’s burned alive.
6. If you were thrown into a gladiator pit and had to fight one person to death bare-handed in order to escape, who would you pick?
Probably Goro. I think I can take him.
7. What's your dream job?
I don’t have one.
8. Are you a convicted felon? If so, how and why? If not, how did you get away with it?
**Lie:** No. I have never done anything to get myself convicted.
**Truth:** No. You can’t get caught when no one sees you.
9. How would your coworkers describe you?
I hope they would consider me loyal, but you would have to ask them. We don’t speak very much.
10. What do you like to do outside of work?
I like to garden and read.
11. If you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
Squirrel.
12. It's midnight, you just killed a high-ranking noble, you're alone, and have an hour to get rid of this dead body before his family notices he's missing. What do you do?
I would dismember the body into the smallest pieces I could and either feed it to the nearest animals or I would wrap them up in a sack to carry them to a place to be buried.
13. Do you ever see yourself taking a leadership position in this party? What kind of leader are you?
No. I don’t want to be a leader.
14. If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
I would wish that Griffin would have the life he deserves.
15. If you had a bagel, how would you eat it? Cream cheese, dried fruit, cheese and meat, plain, toasted, untoasted?
Toasted with cream cheese. I’m not some kind of savage.
16. A dragon curses you with a magical slave-cuff that forces you to murder your closest loved one. Who do you kill?
The dragon. [Raef pauses] Oh. Do you mean my loved one? Griffin. Then I would kill the dragon.

Maybe dead. Maybe running a tavern. Probably still doing the same shit.
What's your biggest weakness?
Fuck you, that’s what.
What's your greatest strength?
Pretty good with a trident.
What is your greatest achievement?
If I achieve something I’ll fuckin’ let you know.
What keeps you up at night?
Nightmares and insomnia. What else.
If you were thrown into a gladiator pit and had to fight one person to death bare-handed in order to escape, who would you pick?
Doesn’t matter. I’d win.
What's your dream job?
Something quiet where I get to work with people without killing them.
Are you a convicted felon? If so, how and why? If not, how did you get away with it?
Not a lot of city guards on the ocean.
How would your coworkers describe you?
"That cannibal motherfucker”, probably.
What do you like to do outside of work?
Cooking and spending time with my kids.
If you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
Bear.
It's midnight, you just killed a high-ranking noble, you're alone, and have an hour to get rid of this dead body before his family notices he's missing. What do you do?
Pitch him in the ocean. This ain’t complicated.
Do you ever see yourself taking a leadership position in this party? What kind of leader are you?
Got no interest in being a leader. I don’t like having to make decisions that put people’s lives on the line. I do better when I’m the one being told to do dumb shit.
If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
For my family to be safe.
If you had a bagel, how would you eat it? Cream cheese, dried fruit, cheese and meat, plain, toasted, untoasted?
This is a dumb fucking question.
A dragon curses you with a magical slave-cuff that forces you to murder your closest loved one. Who do you kill?
Fuck you.

Back home, hopefully, helping my family stay strong and charming nobles.
What's your biggest weakness?
... My entire physical body. I am not a strong person.
What's your greatest strength?
It would have to be a tie between my musical abilities and people skills.
What is your greatest achievement?
Well, I don't like to brag.
What keeps you up at night?
Nothing.
If you were thrown into a gladiator pit and had to fight one person to death bare-handed in order to escape, who would you pick?
Perhaps a small child. I'm not proud of it, but I already told you I'm not a physically capable person.
What's your dream job?
Honestly? Anything that involved people actually noticing and appreciating my talents.
Are you a convicted felon? If so, how and why? If not, how did you get away with it?
Certainly not. What a rude implication.
How would your coworkers describe you?
As their boss. Well, back home, anyway. My current coterie ... I'm not sure.
What do you like to do outside of work?
My work is my life. If I'm not doing something pertaining to my job, I'm usually sleeping. But I like my work.
If you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
I have no idea. I'm not much of an animal person. Maybe a cat. They seem clean.
It's midnight, you just killed a high-ranking noble, you're alone, and have an hour to get rid of this dead body before his family notices he's missing. What do you do?
Again, such a rude assumption. I would never get my hands dirty like that.
Do you ever see yourself taking a leadership position in this party? What kind of leader are you?
I step in at times when Abel is absent or unequipped for the current situation, yes. I'm accustomed to being in charge, but I will defer to my older brother.
If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
Infinite wealth, I suppose. Money solves most problems.
If you had a bagel, how would you eat it? Cream cheese, dried fruit, cheese and meat, plain, toasted, untoasted?
At this point I might kill a man just for a plain bagel, frankly.
A dragon curses you with a magical slave-cuff that forces you to murder your closest loved one. Who do you kill?
Myself. That's not me being self-centered -- it would probably be Amethyst or Jasper, and I'm not letting that happen. Granted, Jasper could kill me quite easily, but I don't think she would. And what if it happened to be Amethyst? No, I wouldn't risk it.

Who knows. Hopefully with Hansel, wherever it is.
What's your biggest weakness?
Hansel says I don't think ahead.
What's your greatest strength?
I'm good at getting people to do things.
What is your greatest achievement?
I'm not sure. Most of the things I'm proud of, other people didn't like. I kept my dad alive for a while when he was sick, though. That was good.
What keeps you up at night?
Sometimes I can't slow down and I have to stay up and find stuff to do before I can sleep again. Sometimes it takes a while. Hansel used to help me with that.
If you were thrown into a gladiator pit and had to fight one person to death bare-handed in order to escape, who would you pick?
What if I picked Luci? We could probably get out together. Or she could kill me and get out herself.
What's your dream job?
What I do now, I guess. I'm good at it.
Are you a convicted felon? If so, how and why? If not, how did you get away with it?
I never got caught. I'm really good at killing people who see me and running away.
How would your coworkers describe you?
They don't like me.
What do you like to do outside of work?
Hansel says it's important for me to stay busy and then come straight home when I'm not working. So I mostly just spend time with him. Or Finch, now. It's boring.
If you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
Maybe a crow. Or maybe a shark.
It's midnight, you just killed a high-ranking noble, you're alone, and have an hour to get rid of this dead body before his family notices he's missing. What do you do?
Why do I need to get rid of the body? I can just leave. No one will know it was me.
Do you ever see yourself taking a leadership position in this party? What kind of leader are you?
I like being part of groups, but I don't want to be a leader. No one else would want it either.
If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
I'd wish that I understood the things Hansel wants me to understand so I can stop disappointing him.
If you had a bagel, how would you eat it? Cream cheese, dried fruit, cheese and meat, plain, toasted, untoasted?
Doesn't matter to me.
A dragon curses you with a magical slave-cuff that forces you to murder your closest loved one. Who do you kill?
No one. It would be Luci, and Hansel wouldn't let me do that. Or it would be Hansel, and his friends would stop me. It'd be fine.

Ruling over Alabaster.
2. What's your biggest weakness?
None.
3. What's your greatest strength?
[Gwydion shifts in the chair and leans in] Everything.
4. What is your greatest achievement?
**Truth:** This is complicated because I have done several things that I consider great. I would suppose my favorite, so far, has been to help clear the streets of some unnecessary riff-raff. Luckily they were easily persuaded to listen to me once I helped them cross over one last hurdle in their lives.
**Lie:** Oh, hmm. I would say it would have to be helping my friend overcome a very difficult time in his life.
5. What keeps you up at night?
Nothing, unless you count the occasional companion.
6. If you were thrown into a gladiator pit and had to fight one person to death bare-handed in order to escape, who would you pick?
Someone smaller than me.
7. What's your dream job?
I want to be ruler of my own city with an army of undead at my hands.
8. Are you a convicted felon? If so, how and why? If not, how did you get away with it?
No. Raising the dead isn’t a crime the last I checked.
9. How would your coworkers describe you?
It would depend on who you ask. I’m often told I’m pretty.
10. What do you like to do outside of work?
Nothing. I love my job and I also consider it my hobby.
11. If you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
A raven. They’re a smart species and they know more than they let on.
12. It's midnight, you just killed a high-ranking noble, you're alone, and have an hour to get rid of this dead body before his family notices he's missing. What do you do?
I would animate his corpse and have him simply walk from the building. [Gwydion smiles as he mimics walking with his two fingers along his palm.] Then I would have him jump off the edge of the cliff. [He drops his fingers over the side of his hand.]
13. Do you ever see yourself taking a leadership position in this party? What kind of leader are you?
Yes. Authoritative.
14. If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
I feel like I’ve repeated myself several times. [Gwydion sighs out and rests his chin on his hand, smiling with amusement.] I wish everyone would submit already.
15. If you had a bagel, how would you eat it? Cream cheese, dried fruit, cheese and meat, plain, toasted, untoasted?
Pass. I don’t like bread.
16. A dragon curses you with a magical slave-cuff that forces you to murder your closest loved one. Who do you kill?
My closest loved one is already dead and why would I kill the dragon when being friends is so much nicer

I dunno. Hopefully alive. I guess still adventuring with the party?

2.What's your biggest weakness?
What kind of question is this? I don’t know. I don't know when to shut up?
3. What's your greatest strength?
Uh. I have magic music?

4.What is your greatest achievement?
Well staying alive this long I guess. Hopefully soon I’ll be able to say ‘killing Diva’.

5.What keeps you up at night?
Look I don’t have anything in particular that causes my insomnia okay? It’s just a thing that happens.

6.If you were thrown into a gladiator pit and had to fight one person to death bare-handed in order to escape, who would you pick?
Oh, Raef, he’s useless. Although I’d be sad about killing him. Can I change my answer? Um. Wow. I can’t think of who to change it to.

7.What's your dream job?
Uh. Wow I hadn’t thought about that. Um, well, I guess I would rather be a- not adventuring bard. Find somewhere not-dangerous and play my music and stuff. Have my friends and Runner family around.

8.Are you a convicted felon? If so, how and why? If not, how did you get away with it?
I am an occasional pickpocket! Not a felon! And I am especially not a murderer. I only kill people on adventures.

9.How would your coworkers describe you?
I hadn’t thought about that. Loud probably.

10.What do you like to do outside of work?
Practice my songs. Write in my diary- no you can’t read it. Hang out with my friends. Especially Hansel.

11.If you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
Well I’m already a giant turtle so maybe just a small one. But I'd want to find a magic person that could change me back.

12.It's midnight, you just killed a high-ranking noble, you're alone, and have an hour to get rid of this dead body before his family notices he's missing. What do you do?
I didn’t kill her in the first place! I already told you this! Not a murderer here!!

13.Do you ever see yourself taking a leadership position in this party? What kind of leader are you?
Not a leader. I’ll just listen to Hansel, he seems like he knows what he’s doing.

14.If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
Me and everyone I care about to live a long happy life and not die tragically early to some bodysnatching hivemind.
15.If you had a bagel, how would you eat it? Cream cheese, dried fruit, cheese and meat, plain, toasted, untoasted?
Why is this a question? Uh- I don’t know however their making it I guess. Cheese makes me gassy though.
16.A dragon curses you with a magical slave-cuff that forces you to murder your closest loved one. Who do you kill?
...I don’t like this question.

Dunno.
2. What's your biggest weakness?
Teeth. Not sharp.
3. What's your greatest strength?
Living in forest.
4. What is your greatest achievement?
Escaping.
5. What keeps you up at night?
Snoring.
6. If you were thrown into a gladiator pit and had to fight one person to death bare-handed in order to escape, who would you pick?
Dunno. Elf.
7. What's your dream job?
Don’t want job.
8. Are you a convicted felon? If so, how and why? If not, how did you get away with it?
*Grrrrrrrr.*
9. How would your coworkers describe you?
Wolf kid.
10. What do you like to do outside of work?
Kill stuff. Bandits.
11. If you were an animal, which one would you like to be?
Wolf.
12. It's midnight, you just killed a high-ranking noble, you're alone, and have an hour to get rid of this dead body before his family notices he's missing. What do you do?
Run.
13. Do you ever see yourself taking a leadership position in this party? What kind of leader are you?
Abel is leader.
14. If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
Not have to deal with people.
15. If you had a bagel, how would you eat it? Cream cheese, dried fruit, cheese and meat, plain, toasted, untoasted?
Whole.
16. A dragon curses you with a magical slave-cuff that forces you to murder your closest loved one. Who do you kill?
Cut my arm off.