David Lynch VS David Firth

**David Lynch VS David Firth** is the 7th episode of UMDTOTC ALPHA and the 15th battle overall! It features David Lynch and David Firth in a battle of Davids known for their horror and dark comedy creations!

**Battle Length**: 1:27

## Dissers

Both played by Bob-Crust!

* David Lynch
* David Firth

## Lyrics

*[David Lynch is in Light Gray while David Firth is in Brown!]*

### **David Lynch - Verse 1:**

I was just reading this book. How are you doing, Megamind?

You’re illiterate sh\*t can’t compare to this kinda mind!

Sticking your Salad Fingers in some Fat Pie won’t make you a man!

You’re too immature. You look like an elephant, man!

Just some messed up crud isn’t horror, it’s immature!

Cause your craft crap is a mood, nothing more!

Your work is just ugly, I wish I could erase it from my head!

You’re life is just a Lost Highway leading to your death bed!

I’m milking this battle harder than you milked that Veggie guy!

You f\*ck nothing like rabbits, you’re a virgin, oh my!

Hey Toybox, you’re early cartoons are pretty much complete trash!

One million billiards is nothing compared to my 60 million net worth! CASH!

You got nothing, I got Twin Peaks!

The famous thing since SNL, you don’t even know what you seek!

Now “Get the stick! Get the stick!” and sober on it like some Blue Velvet cake!

Still don’t think I’m better? Here have this hot take!

You’re just Dune Lucky you even got noticed!

Your lifeless fake art is complete utter bogus!

I’m scary, I’m cool, you’re on your tippy-toes!

I’m Wild at Heart, I was meant to beat these tard types of foes!

### **David Firth - Verse 1:**

Ok, done? Welcome to my Umbilical World!

You’re in-scary movie-shows are just a chunky hurl!

I’m mostly distracted by how your face looks burnt, man!

Who you messing with? You act like a dog in a man!

My old art is bad, what the flipping pantry is Dumbland?

You ain’t the pilot of any horror. Your movies are dumb and bland!

My videos are scary and deep, they all have hidden meanings!

They can be normal to the videos craziness, it’s visual genius!

I got the visual mind to freak you the f\*ck out!

Yes, my work is odd. It gives you nightmares, don’t turn around.

I make people scared, like any weird horror should do.

Yours makes people laugh, and not the good type of laugh that you knew.

I’ll bite you harder than Salad Fingers bit Marjory’s hair! (Ooh!)

I’ll scare you more than Toast Boy seeing his Grandma f\*cked bare! (Boo!)

You say I'm a virgin, but who’s had 4 wifes, man? You!

Your directing years are gone man, get a new plan! Hoo!

My forehead is large because it contains my incredible brain!

Your movies are so repetitive as if they were made with Cream, let it rain!

Just give up, I’ll Spoilsbury you in my backyard!

Make some real horror! No bad you’re too old to go back that far!

### **David Lynch - Verse 2:**

More dark doesn’t mean more good, who wants to watch a Grandma getting chugged!

Even your comedy sucks! Jerry Jackson is like a bug.

I’ll squish 'em! With my famous masterpieces that even your papa knows!

Here’s a straight story! Get out or I'll shoot you with a blood-filled guarding hose!

### **David Firth - Verse 2:**

Stop it! I see you’ve run out of lyric ideas.

I’m a hard working single director, while your babysat by your little piers!

After this battle you will be forever in tears!

Trust me, I know when something is bad. So, let me push Fire Walk With Me down the stairs!