Pan Pizza

* Normal Icon
* True Form

### Alliance

* 471k subscribers who all treat him like piss and love Izzy, Ken, ~~Nolan~~, Jim and Gables (don't dead name Izzy)
* Channel Frederator

### Allies

* Neros Q (formerly)
* Izzy
* Ken

~~\*Nolan~~

* Jim
* Guillermo
* Ian JQ
* Neoncaffeine

### Enemies

* Himself
* The Age of Consent
* His dad (aka:) Pan's Dad
* Curious Nesska (Ex-Girlfriend)
* Cheeralism (Mother of Pans child/Ex-girlfriend)
* Oneeyedsheep/Sheepy (Ex-girlfriend)
* Izzy
* Ken
* Nolan
* Guillermo
* Neoncaffeine
* Miguel
* Tara Strong
* Chibi Robo
* Butch Hartman
* The 2016 Powerpuff Girls
* WatchMojo
* Donald Drumpf
* The Nutshack
* Neros Q (sometimes but not really)
* Mr. Enter
* Pritty003 or PrittyDoubleO3 (Pan wishes suffering on her)
* Sally{BANK} (crazy fan who may come on the Pizza Party Podcast later)
* Ian JQ ("Hey Pan")
* Papa John's (caused the pizza place where Pan worked at to go out of business)
* "Pizza Monster Other "F" Word Nerd"
* Ernesto De La Cruz
* June
* Mark C. Marek
* Super Magnetic Neo

### Waifus

* Raven
* Jinx
* Zone-Tan
* Any Malu
* Mavis
* Gwen (TDI)
* Chel
* Creepy Susie
* Pearl
* Peridot
* Stocking
* Lapis
* Brit Crust
* Tiff Crust
* Stocking
* Gaz
* Tomoko
* Jenny Wakeman
* Derpy Hoves
* Midna
* Emily Vasquez
* Stephany Vasquez
* Catrina Gutierrez
* Wave Bird
* Milky Mint
* Cindey Carmack
* Negasonic Teenage Warhead
* Martain Queen
* Sombra
* Bliss (If he wants to keep his job)
* His Mom
* Roxie Bear
* Nintendo
* Gothduck
* Sega
* Sony
* Microsoft
* The Adelita Twins
* Cheeralism (mother of Pans child/ex-girlfriend)
* Oneeyedsheep/Sheepy (ex-girlfriend)
* Guillermo
* Olive the other reindeer
* Demencia
* Dementia
* June
* Gardevoir
* Gothitelle
* Lydia Deetz
* Ruby Gloom
* Misery
* Emily the Strangle
* The Oracle Twins
* Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl
* Ashley (WarioWare)
* Mandy (Grim Adventures)
* Kylie (Ghostbusters)
* Sam (Danny Phantom)
* Ruby (RWBY)
* Creepie Creecher
* Henrietta (South Park)
* The Members of Eta Hiss Hiss
* Lucy Loud
* Draculaura
* Josette Grey
* Daria
* Marceline
* Scanty
* Kneesocks
* Power
* Freewolfeh (airbnb girl)

### Husbando

* Angel Dust
* Super Lopez
* Super Magnetic Neo
* Mango
* Mango's Axolotl
* Conan O'brien
* Just Stop (he was cucked)
* Dirty Sal

### Weaponry

* Giant-Saw blade pizza cutter
* Chloroform
* The Christmas light
* Nicolas Special juice
* Pale Force
* His Desperation
* AK47

### Powers and abilities

* Lazer beam
* Wall jump
* Cry
* Infinito Nut

### Weaknesses

* Social Norms
* Goth Girls (and boys)
* Multi-grain Cheerios (he likes raisin bran)
* Light
* Bazinga Syndrome
* Crossing the street
* Booking flights
* Reading Subtitles

### Fate

Currently (along with Izzy, Ken, Nolan, Jim, Neros Q, etc.) on a crusade against the Enterbots and Mr. Enter

### Quotes

* "XY? I'd like to X her Y."]
* "How dare you"
* "I want to cut Raven open and sleep inside her"
* "YEHHHAHHHHHH"
* "GOTH GUUUURRRRRLS"
* "Diss on Enter"
* "That one animation rant he planned on saying at comic con but pussied out and didnt do it"\*

Pan-Pizza is the host of Rebel Taxi, a critic of popular culture, squidcel and a pedophile who is best known for his "goth fetish" and achievements in cringe and memery. He makes reviews, Top Tens and Did You Know videos on youtube about cartoons, movies, anime, video games, and whatever else he finds in ~~Tumblr~~ Twitter and Zone-Archive. He also has a Let's Play channel. He is the creator of the original webcomic Loki IRL and one of the main hosts of the Pizza Party Podcast

Pan's reviews consist of the following formula:

* Pan makes a pun related to the featured show's name
* Pan compares each character to others from random media
* Pan reads Wikipedia
* Pan shits on one of the cast members he's jealous of
* Pan goes off on the female character he wants to bone (who is often the character on the thumbnail)
* Pan randomly whines about one of his personal issues

Pan was originally going to be a member of Channel Awesome, but they didn't let him join after he missed an important Skype call. (Talk about dodging a bullet...especially now.)

He is currently the only member who is in every episode of the podcast and he's formerly the worst out of all of them (not including Neros and Knoteholeresident).

Pan was the main character in the independent film "Pan Pizza: Trouble in Tokyo" along with Ken, Nolan, Jim, and special guests stars Tara Strong and John DiMaggio (who were both bribed into being in it).

According to him, his hat is actually a skinned Umbreon.

On January 3, 2017, during 68-SING To ROGUE ONE, he declared war on Mr. Enter (more like Mr. Exit) because Enter is a nitpicker rather than a reviewer and uploaded the same review as Pan. This event caused his fans to begin to expose Mr. Enter as being a rip-off of Pan. This also makes Pan one of the "it gets better later" reviewers. This episode is where Operation: Mr. Exit begins and everyone is watching the amazing war between Pan and Enter.

Pan has a daughter with Cheeralism. Her name is Tuesday or Wednesday. A few weeks after having her Pan lost her in a Target store. this has been mentioned in 1+Lets Play NEOPET Games (@RebelTaxi) Ft: Cheeralism and 81-Pizza Party Podcast - BUBSY Joins EMBER'S Ghost Squad where nolan mentioned her. although her disapearence may lead to the idea of her death there may still be hope for her survival.

## Fetishes

* Goth Girls
* Vampire's
* Pegging
* Mangos
* Little Girls
* Skeletons
* Tsunderes
* Piss
* Kuuderes
* Yanderes
* Scene Girls
* Suicide Girls
* Robots
* Aliens
* Demons
* Being a fucking loser
* Insults
* Shortstacks
* Getting kicked in the balls
* Gore
* Scat
* Watersports
* Diapers
* Lamb/Sheep
* Guillermo
* Lolis
* Digital Monsters
* Having no shame
* Inflation
* Vore
* Blueberry Inflation
* Kaa Hypnosis
* Feet
* Braps
* Transformation
* MTF
* Monster Girls
* Being called a Fat Bitch
* Traps/Femboys
* Incest
* Wincest
* Peanut Butter
* Cuckolding
* NTR
* Beastiality
* Teen Titans Go (But only because he doesn't want to burn bridges with his only animation contacts)
* Rich Snobby Girls
* Sounding
* Soaking
* Sexual Humiliation

## Origin Story

***Little is known about Pans Past but there are a few possible* origins. Feel free to add your own origin and remember to be as strange as you want.**

***Possibility 1:*** Pan was born after a taxi that was delivering a pizza fell into a volcano, then hit by lightning, then meteor and after that some cosmic rays. Before Baby Pan drowned in the lava he was saved by an eagle. After his amazing birth pan was brought to Heaven where he lived 'till he got kicked out for unmentionable reasons so he went to live in Hell where he was kicked out, this repeated until he was banned from every form of afterlife and the only place left was Earth

***Possibility 2:*** Pan is a failed copy of SCP-963. During the period of time when SCP-963 was being duplicated, one of the failed attempts was tried on a pizza as a joke. The amulet was destroyed by the pizza. The pizza then gained life, this pizza became Pan. This procedure gave Pan two special traits; 1. Pans ability to come back from nearly anything and 2. Pans "personality" also came from the procedure (were talking about Dr. Bright so what do you expect)

***Possibility 3:*** Pan is a Homunculus from Fullmetal Alchemist. He's discouragement, the eighth deadly sin (google it).

***Possibility 4:*** Pan is a parallel universe version of Dib. He was banished to our world when he annoyed an interdimensional demon girl.

***Possibility 5:*** Pan is the aftermath of an exploded penis, the semen which was discharged from it, during the explosion, formed into Pan. this is why he loves goth girls, they are pale as semen, and he is semen, positive self association.

***Possibility 6:*** Pan is an alien from Planet ~~Cuck~~ Pizza where where no one has a goth gamer girl gf. So, tired of this prevential life Pan left on a voyage to earth to finally get laid.

***Possibility 7:*** Pan was the biological child of Steely Dan from part 3 of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, but since he got fucking eviscerated by Jotaro Kujo in 1988 he was instead raised by his father, Rover from Animal Crossing (aka): Pan's Dad. Since Pan's Dad is infertile he had his wife be impregnated with some old sperm sample which belonged to Steely Dan.

***Possibility 8:*** Pan was a lab assistant who quit his job to become a stand up comedian and support his pregnant wife. Unsuccessful, he agrees to help mobsters with a robbery and dons the name Pizza Joe. The heist goes awry after he falls into a vat of chemical waste trying to escape Neros Q, emerging with bleached white skin, deep sunken eyes, and a permanent thirst for goth. This, combined with the earlier accidental death of his wife and unborn child (the latter revealed to be his lost child Tuesday or Wednesday) drives the comedian insane and he becomes Pan Pizza,driver of the RebelTaxi

***Possibility 9:*** Pan is just a weird guy who probably reveres the 90's era of kid shows to the point where he has regressed a bit. Other then being socially awkward to practically everyone, he somehow manages to scrap on by with his figurines and determination alone. I pity those sad fucks that call this man child "friend". He has good taste in music though.

***Possibility 10:*** Like Godzilla; Pan is a natural force that has to bring balance to the worlds unbalances, though it is currently unknown on what he has to bring balance back to***.***

***Possibility 12:*** Pan is a failed clone of Cody from Total Drama Island.

***Possibility 13:*** Pan is likely to be a cousin or long lost relative of Toad from the Mario.Bros series, and he probably got banned from the Mushroom Kingdom for trying to hit on an underage Mushroom.

***Possibility 14:*** Pan is the long lost grandtrap of Rolando Morán leader of the Guatemalan National Revolutionary Unity guerilla group. He's created his YouTube channel to brainwash the youth of America into turning against their government and avenging the CIA and Israel for their sponsorship of crimes against humanity and genocide during the Guatemalan Civil War.

***Possibility 15:*** Pan is the long lost twin brother of Danger Dolan. Separated at birth, Pan was cast into space, while Dolan remained on Planet Dolan.

***Possibility 16:*** Pan was born to an albino goth chick and (formerly) the largest cuck in the universe. They abandoned him on the doorstep of an anime convention and from there, he was raised by rats (hence why his room is full of garbage and his own fluids.) Because of this upbringing, he lustfully desires to find his mother and thus looks at every goth thinking "maybe this is finally her," but like everything else in his life, he is always left disappointed and retreats to his fap corner to cry himself to sleep while sniffing officially licensed Raven panties (that, yes, he has worn).

***Possibility 17:*** Pan was born at Dashcon in the ballpit. His parents abandoned him on the doorstep of an anime convention and from there, he was raised by rats (hence why his room is full of garbage)

***Possibility 18:*** Pan is actually Wei Shen, an undercover cop hoping to arrest Jim.

***Possibility 19:*** Pan was a failed experimental android made by the Frederator crew. But, he ended up having been programmed to make snarky remarks and sexual references. So, they threw him out and let him live on his own. ~~(By the way the type of robot he is is his own term, a "Cuckoid".)~~

***Possibility 20:*** Pan is actually Henry from KaBlam!, who went to the real world after he broke up from June because he couldn't hide his lust for her anymore. He then wasted most of his time with still being as cringey as always. At least now his tendency for self-loathing humor faded away.

**Possibility 21:** Pan is actually a failed clone of Raven and the reason for why he's obsessed with her is because he wants to know about his past and he wants to have a brother/sister relationship with her (the anime kind, not the normal kind).

**Possibility 22:**

## Trivia

* Pan has once attempted to become a boxer. How do you think Glass Joe got a victory?
* Pan is pen pals with Abridged Kirito.
* Pan once challenged Dan Hibiki from Street Fighter to a one-on-one match. Pan was in a wheelchair for a whole week afterwards.
* Pan was vanquished in battle by Yamcha
* Pan almost got raped by a "Pizza Monster Nerd" one time when he order pizza.
* SCP-682 let him live because he wanted to let the world suffer.
* Pan pays people to play video games with him (sadly this one is true). He also kidnapped them (this may not be true).
* Pan has a lower likeability score than Jerry Smith.
* Pan was SpeedBlitzed by a bread Magikarp.
* Pan was once on the Cartoon Network YouTube channel. It's confirmed to have been mostly comic con videos.
* people who have a restraining order on Pan; Raven, Jinx, Zone-Tan, the Cystal Gems, God, The Devil, The Loud family (all of them), Gaz, The Mystery Twins, The Oracle Twins, Serena and Bellicus (He got this one with paradox), Arceus, every single Gothitelle, every single Gardevoir, Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl, Ruby Gloom, Misery, Lydia Deetz, any of pans waifus,"Then Gandalf the Grey, And Gandalf the White, And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, and Benito Mussolini, And the Blue Meanie, And Cowboy Curtis, And Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, And Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman,Every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, And Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, And Hulk Hogan", Vera (from iZ and the Zizzles) and a box of 56 bobble-heads of Finn the human (long story).
* Dr. Bright has once requested Pan as his assistant. It's unknown if Pan was accepted or denied for the role. Pans lustmortality would be a great help to the foundation but his perverted nature action could be detrimental.
* A fan emailed Pan and told him he was like Cody from Total Drama because Cody likes a goth chick and gets rejected by her.
* Is in a scarem.
* Wednesday's Jenna Ortega reveals in an interview with Vogue that her favorite Youtuber is specifically not Pan
* Pan was abused for years by Nesska who used him to get likes and attention.
* Currently has 5 trained snipers on his locations
* Pan has been bullied by Seth Green.
* Pan has OD'ed on Red Pill. (Copy Right Pan Pizza™©© 2017.)
* Pan's blood is szeschuan sauce.
* Pan could possibly be a sub-species of Toad from Super Mario
* Pan was one shotted by ant.
* Here a real fun fact, the *A Day With SpongeBob SquarePants: The Movie* theme is the base clarinet part of *The Polar Express* theme. I don't have evidence for this because I'm not a base clarinet but one of my friends were and it totally is.
* Pan's stand is known as "Pale Imitation", by drawing frail looking paper ink creatures, the ability allows for the user to copy another persons ability to 40% of the original power. Before that pan must know what the ability looks like, what it does, what the user looks like, the person who's using it's name and what the ability is called, and the ability is halved every time he fails to meet a requirement.
* Pan is the same online and offline. (This is kinda sad)
* Pan in "80-Pizza Party Podcast - CRASH Jacks On RATCHET's Daxter" said that at this year's comic con he would do the most cringiest thing possible at about minute 9. Like the quitter, he is he decided not to and rather just ask a creator (they were not impressed). He's a little message for pan https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx\_ao0.
* On Aug 23, 2015 Pan's face was allegedly leaked by EQUALSGAMER https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnNExDjE-CE.
* Pan has alot of Dave Chappelle DVDs in 82-Pizza Party Podcast - EMOJI Movie WORST Animated Movie of 2017 Ft: JIM!
* Nolan's mumbling at 0:24 of Pizza Party Podcast Ep. 78 started a rumor that Pan's real name is Ricky, but this is unconfirmed and Nolan most likely said something completely different.
* Sheepy, confirmed that his dick is less than 8 inches long.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llRFOV7XbhE "hey pan"
* Pan is one of the most wanted person in the universe (rank 123) after he broke code 3.1415 of Multiverse Preservation Act by attempted to convince a Celestialsapian to make alterations to the universe (mainly making all the goth girls want to suck his dick), luckly he was stopped.
* Pan also can't get 500 light years near a Celestialsapian for the event seen above.
* Harriet the spy steals Pan's stuff.
* Pan may have been replaced by a parallel universe version of himself since he remembers *King of the Hill* ending earlier than it did and thinks *Spiderman Homecoming* is new and also got a girlfriend. He later switched back, why do you think she's his ex.
* Pan in first grade said that he wanted to be the black guy from Star Wars.
* Pan supposedly admitted to being able to wall jump, he learnt these skills when he was a little pizza in school.
* Pan was once a “thick”crust pizza in middle school or maybe early high school as was said in the Nightmare before Christmas game review and he didn’t know the concept of man boobs and he thought that he was turning into a woman.
* If a Rebel Taxi movie was ever made it would supposedly feature the podcasts origin showing how everyone became friends and started the podcast with Pan as the main protagonist and Mr Enter as the main antagonist.
* Pan dyed his hair Purple but it ended up blonde instead.
* Hasn't have had a Slurpy Derpy (and then proceeded to mock the name)
* Jesus Christ how fucking long is this wikia
* Why the fuck did people put effort in to this
* It was the summer and I was bored
* Stated he could beat Heffer Wolfe and Filburt though this is probably wrong
* Pan and Neros probably fucked once, let's be honest here
* Pan is a biological descendant of Hitler, yet Hitler denied this, most likely due to embarrassment.
* Pan is a lazy bottom.
* Pan got filtered by Frog the Jam, one of the most feared cards in yugioh, a card so powerful that Konami had to actively nerf it. But Pan's way to dumb to comprehended it's raw potential.
* He helped develop Cars 2: The Video Game in a sick deal with mecha-hitler from wolfenstein
* Pan secretly was the kid who played Greg in the shitty *Diary of the Wimpy Kid* movies, explaining why his life is a fucking joke
* the guy who played Rodrick in the Diary of the Wimpy Kids movies had developed a deep-seeded crush for Pan during production.
* It's been stated by Fujimoto that Pan's simple existence would frighten Makima. This is due to the fact that Pan serves as her natural counter, Pan is such a raging simp that by being near Makima he would inadvertently absorb and nullify her abilities. This is known as the "No Bitches" effect.
* Pan owns every Spielberg movie on VHS (the VHBest)
* Has a custom-made Juul with rabbit Raven from Teen Titans printed on it.
* He has two assholes according to PivotXXD
* His mother was \*\*\*\*\* by John Kricfalusi
* Pan voted red (Source Unknown)
* Pan has allegedly jacked off to furry porn
* Pan faps to 3 times a day to suicide girls, lewd cartoon drawings, tasteful nudes used for life drawing, himself imagining his self insert character Stephany being humiliated, his crewed smut drawings he never uploads, anime fan service compilations, pin ups, and Vimeo videos that have nudity.
* Pan jerks off to Zone's *My Life as a Teenage Robot* porn parody *What What in the Robot* every day.
* Pan has a page on Encyclopedia Dramatica.
* Pan has a WikiFeet page
* It's been confirmed that pan wanks to /e/ shown by the time someone bullied him by making an ad about how Pan will suck cock for views.
* Pan is secretly related to the guy who shot John Lennon.
* Pan is HowToBasic
* Pan's dick is .55"
* Rumors say Pan is the one who caused Tumblr's NSFW ban when he commissioned BigDeadAlive to draw Lucy Loud fucking Ashley from Warioware.
* Pan once made a contract with the Pizza Devil. It has gone down in history as one of the worst deals ever made and for all intents in purposes only hurt Pan in the long run.
* Pan x Emily is canon, but nobody ships it except for one of the admins of this wiki.
* Within the next 7 years, someone will find Pan smoking outside a bar dressed as Emily with big fake tits standing next to a sign that says "Will suck your dick 4 attention".
* The people behind this wiki filled it with harmful lies about Pan being a Pedophile and no matter how many times I delete them they keep putting them back.
* Is secretly a massive Kanye fan buying Graduation the day it was released.
* Famous internet content creator Weekend Warrior does not know who Pan is, not even a little bit.