Audio Drama 4: I Was Young Back Then, Too

Ivan: Tiger & Bunny: Special Audio Drama "I Was Young Back Then, Too"

Ivan: This is the story of how I, Ivan Karelin, aka Origami Cyclone, found a solution to my problem.

Keith: I see. So that's how it was? I understand the issue.

Ivan: I'm sorry to bother you when you're so busy, over something so boring and personal.

Keith: Not at all, I thought you were impressive during our last crisis. Truly impressive!

Ivan: [I thought that I had to become stronger, but after a certain incident, I had lost all confidence in my ability to be a hero. But even if I say I want to be stronger, all I've been thinking of doing up until this point is photo bombing. So I didn't know what to do. I thought about it. And decided that I wanted to be more like the King of Heroes that everyone looks up to, Sky High.]

Keith: So you want to know how to become stronger? Of course, I could just say something in general terms, but I think this is something that can't be done for you. Do you agree

Ivan: Yeah, I guess you're right.

Keith: It's important to do things for yourself. And I believe that's something that can't be taught. But for the people that are with me from day to day, and share in my suffering...I think a certain understanding is born from that.

Ivan: Mr. Sky High, um...I...

Keith: Is there some sort of problem? Ivan: No, that's not...I mean...Um...

Keith: What is it?

Ivan: Why are we doing this in this particular location?

Keith: I'm not sure I understand your meaning.

Ivan: I mean, no matter how you look at it, this place is pretty...uh...

Nathan: "Pretty" what? How rude.

Ivan: Mr. Fire Emblem!

Nathan: Hey, cut the music! Now pick something else! Honestly! I've told them a thousand times not to use such boooring music.

Ivan: Why is Mr. Fire Emblem here?

Nathan: You're asking why? Honestly, you just keep getting ruder and ruder, little boy. I OWN this place. That's why it's a fundoshi club!

Ivan: D-did you say fundoshi?

Nathan: Exactly. It's a place that caters to \*my\* t-a-s-t-e-s. Ivan: [As Fire Emblem said, this was a club that catered 100% to his taste. It was sort of like a host club. As to why Sky High called me out to it...]

Keith: Why, you ask? It's because this place has the most delicious lemonade in the city! Ivan: Eh?

Nathan: It appears our dear Sky High thinks this is a cafe.

Ivan: That's a little...

Nathan: Not that it matters. I'm about to open the place for our evening customers, so it's time for you two to leave. Go on now.

Ivan: Oh, ah, sorry about that. You're right. Let's go, Mr. Sky High!

Keith: W-wait! I haven't finished my lemonade!

Ivan: Come on, we don't want to be in the way! Let's leave!

Nathan: It's true, you guys would just be in the way. Watching you fumble around is just making things worse.[He sighs]

Keith: Hm? What's being made worse?

Nathan: [TN: Can anyone understand the first part of this line? It's a little too fast for me] and we don't have enough boys to fulfill demand. I don't know what to do. Ah, I'm just telling you all this because you happen to be here.

Keith: I see. So that's what it is.

Nathan: Well, I wouldn't say no if you wanted to give me a hand.

Ivan: U-u-u-us? As hosts?!

Nathan: I'm just kidding. There's no way you two could be ho--

Keith: We'll do it!

Ivan: Eh?

Nathan: Yes?

Keith: Of course we'll help you out!

Nathan: Are you being serious?

Keith: Of course! As a hero, I can't ignore any cry for help!

Nathan: I didn't quite mean it in that way.

Keith: Origami!

Ivan: Uh, yes?

Keith: This isn't a coincidence! It's fate! This is a chance for you to help someone through a crisis!

Ivan: A chance for me to help?

Keith: Yes! I'm sure this mission will change something deep inside you!

Nathan: Hey, don't just decide these things without my input.

Ivan: That's right, Mr. Sky High! I'm sure I'd only bother the customers! Right?

Nathan: Hmm? On the other hand...hmmmMMMMM...

Ivan: W-what is it?

Nathan: Now that I get a good look at you...You know, the two of you have pretty nice faces.

Ivan: Eh?

Nathan: [to himself] That's right. [to Ivan] All right, let's do this. I think it'll be enough to fufill the customer's expectations.

Ivan: How did this end up happening?!

Keith: This is just what we wanted, right, Origami?!

Ivan: [And so that's how I ended up trying to become a host, for the first time in my life.]

Nathan: All right, first up, Origami! Just pretend I'm a guest.

Ivan: Eh? Even if you say that...it's...

Nathan: Just follow my lead. [offscreen] Music, please. [back to Origami] Oh, I don't believe I've seen you before. Are you new?

Ivan: Um, ah...yes.

Nathan: You seem a little bit nervous.

Ivan: Ah, y-yes, just in the slightest.

Nathan: Hey, what's with the "in the slightest"? This kid says the funniest things!

Ivan: That's because you're--I mean, I'm sorry, sir, I'm new at this.

Nathan: Come on, relax a little more. The only place you should be stiff is here.

Ivan: HOLD ON!! W-W-WHERE ARE YOU TOUCHING ME?!

[TN: I've listened to this for a few times and I'm not understanding it. Ivan is obviously objecting to the sexual harassment, and Nathan is trying to brush it off as no big deal? If anyone with better listening comprehension than me can fill in, I'd appreciate it!]

Ivan: Ah, um, wait--I'm not...please, give me a break here!

Nathan: All right, break time. Cut the music. [to Ivan] Hey, Origami, sweetie. Are you sure you're up for this? It's rude to the guests to get this freaked out over a little touchy-feely.

Ivan: I know...I wasn't trying to--

Nathan: Listen. The customer is ALWAYS right. Even if the guest is as black as a crow, you have to treat them like they're lily white. Get it? You'll never get anywhere if you run away in fear. That goes for being a hero and a host!

Ivan: Huh.

Nathan: That was no good. There's no way I could put you to work.

Ivan: Ah...I'm sorry.

Keith: All right! Origami, now it's my turn! Tag touch!

Nathan: Hmm?

Keith: I think I have the general idea! Let's see if I've got the pattern down.

Nathan: What's with this confidence? Ah, well, never hurts to try.

Keith: Hey, it's been a while. I was getting worried, since I hadn't seen you lately.

Nathan: [surprised noises] Ah, I've been a little busy lately, so I haven't had the time.

Keith: Waiting for you all by myself in the club has been so lonely.

Nathan: Oh my. You're not half bad at this.

Keith: Let's share a toast to our long-awaited reunion. And again, a toast. [to Nathan] As an side, there's something I've been wondering about.

Nathan: What is it?

Keith: Are you attracted to men as a whole? Or just their butts?

[Nathan spits out his drink]

Nathan: EXCUSE ME?

Keith: Which one is it?

Nathan: Hold on a minute. Excuse me, but what are you trying to say?

Keith: Eh? Is there something wrong with what I said?

Nathan: Enough! "Just their butts"?! What sort of weird fetish do you think I have?!

Keith: Well, like I said...I had been wondering for a while, so...

Nathan: So you decided to ask me NOW? When I'm playing the part of a GUEST? Honestly, just when I think you're doing wonderfully, you show that you have all the sensitivity of a truck!

Keith: But if I don't quickly find out which one--

Nathan: Then WHAT? [offscreen] Enough, enough, we're done! Cut the music!

[slight time change]

Nathan: Both of you were no good at all. That was pointless. I must be some sort of idiot, asking the two of you. I suppose we'll just have to make due with the boys we have.

Ivan: Oh, really?

Keith: No, you don't have to! I'm sure we can do it if we try!

Nathan: [to himself] Like I said before, what's with that confidence? [to Keith] You couldn't do it at all a few minutes ago.

Keith: That was then!

Ivan: Come on, Mr. Sky High, let's give up. We're just annoying him now.

Keith: Are you really okay with that, Origami? Aren't you giving up on changing yourself?

Ivan: ...Mr. Sky High...

Nathan: None of that "Mr. Sky High", please. You're leaving me out of the conversation again.

Ivan: You're right! I was mistaken. If I give up here, nothing will have changed! Mr. Fire Emblem, please give me another chance!

Nathan: Huh. HUH?!

Ivan: Let me do it, please!

Nathan: Let you do it? Asking me so bluntly...

Ivan: I...want to change myself, no matter what! Even if I have to...have to...

Keith: Origami...

Nathan: Um, hello? Think about what you're saying. Isn't this a tad melodramatic?

Ivan: PLEASE, MR. FIRE EMBLEM!

Nathan: All right already! I can't think of anything but putting you in the show, though...

Ivan: Show?

Nathan: Yesss. The Fundoshi Club has a certain main event it's known for, and that's...MASURAO TIME.

Ivan: M-MASURAO TIME?

Nathan: All our "masurao boys" dance behind one another in unison. So it'll probably suit you, Origami, since you're used to hiding in the back.

Ivan: Masurao boys?!

Keith: Origami, what does "masurao" mean?

Ivan: "Masurao" is a ninja term! It means a strong and valliant man. And it's even an archaic word!

Keith: I see! It's the sort of thing that gets you passionate! So what is the show like?

Nathan: Rather than explaining, why don't you two see for yourself!

Ivan: Yessir!

Nathan: Music start!

Keith: Ohh!

Nathan: Prepare yourself...IT'S MASURRRRRRRRRAO TIME!

Guy: Hey, stop for a second!

Nathan: What? Just when we were about to reach the climax!

Guy: Tonight's VIP guest has canceled!

Nathan: Huh?! CANCELED? Really?

Guy: Yep, that's right! I just took the call myself!

Nathan: Oh, I see.

Ivan: Huh? So...

Keith: That means we won't be needed after all. In other words: MISSION COMPLETE! Origami!

Ivan: [sighs in relief] [So then we left the club. I was relieved, but at the same time, I felt like I had lost the chance to do something important. But having gone through such a stressful situation, I felt like I had understood something. That was...]

Keith: I wonder what Masurao Time was, exactly. I wonder, I truly wonder!

Ivan: Excuse me, Mr. Sky High. Thank you for everything you did today. I learned that you can't do anything if you just give up.

Keith: Origami...

Ivan: So from now on, I'll try my hardest at everything I do!

Keith: I see. Then I'll teach you a special move!

Ivan: Huh?

Keith: You've been saying from the beginning that you want to be stronger, right?

Ivan: Y-yes, I did say that.

Keith: And, like I said, this was something only you could decide to solve on your own. But now, you've understood what's really important! So now you're ready for a move like this!

Ivan: M-Mr. Sky High!

Keith: Just follow my moves and you should learn it easily. Are you listening, Origami?! First, keep your eye on the target, and then do this!

Ivan: Yessir!

Keith: This is your special move: Cyclone Tornado!

Ivan: C-Cyclone Tornado?

[TN: Can't really understand what Keith is saying here, sorry! It's how to do the move in question.]

Keith: CYCLONE TORNAAADOOOO!

Ivan: Wait a second!

Keith: Why are you hesitating? Get up here!

Ivan: I can't!

Keith: Why not! Remember, you said you'd do your best!

Ivan: But this can only be done with your powers!

[brief pause]

Ivan: Um...?

Keith: Ah, so that's why! But it's fine! If regular humans could learn how to fly, I'm sure there's a way to do it! Oh, look there's a patrol car! See you later, and again, see you later!

Ivan: Um, excuse me? Mr. Sky High?

[Sky High vanishes]

Ivan: Even though I said I'd try harder at everything I do... Ivan: [So this is what's been going on with me. But someday I'll find something only I can do, and then I'll be a real hero. So I hope you'll be watching when that happens. --From, Ivan --To, Edward]

THE END