The Cramp Twins

**The Cramp Twins** is the 43rd episode of The Loudest House!

Next episode: The Loudest Genderswap

## Synopsis:

Foop gets the chance to meet the stars of his favorite show, The Cramp Twins. He drags Goldie along, to her dismay.

## Character Appearances:

* Foop Cosma
* Goldie Goldenglow
* Wayne Cramp
* Lucien Cramp
* Tony Parsons
* Wendy Winkle
* Anti-Cosmo Cosma
* Anti-Wanda Cosma

## Transcript:

On a Saturday morning, Foop was watching the Cramp Twins.

Anti-Cosmo came into Foop's room and saw him on his laptop.

Anti-Cosmo: Please tell me you didn't stay up ALL night watching the third season of the Cramp Twins....

Foop: I did!

Foop yawned.

Foop: And now I'm a bit sleepy...

Anti-Cosmo rolled his eyes.

Anti-Cosmo: Foop. You know staying up is bad for your health. Look where that got Timmy Turner. He wished to never sleep... and now he's flunked 5th grade.

Foop: I don't care about that twit! Besides, The Cramp Twins' season 4 will be filmed HERE in Royal Woods! Apparently the set they used for Soap City was destroyed...all because of Wendy's stupid dad and his need to destroy the swamp.

Anti-Cosmo: And your point is?

Foop: We have to go to the filming TODAY!

Anti-Cosmo: It's today?

Foop: Yep! Today, tomorrow, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday! Can we go all those days?

Anti-Cosmo: Absolutely not! You have school on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday!

Anti-Cosmo sighed.

Anti-Cosmo: But I suppose we could go today. Also, breakfast is ready.

Foop: Mom didn't cook it. Did she?

Anti-Cosmo: Of course not! I did!

Foop shrugged and headed to the kitchen.

Anti-Wanda had a big platter of fried chicken on the kitchen table.

Foop: Mother. YOU made breakfast?

Anti-Wanda: Ah, heavens no! I got KFC for all of us!

Anti-Cosmo face-palmed.

Anti-Cosmo: Honey, this wasn't part of the plan. I made my famous scones.

Anti-Wanda: Don'tcha mean STONES? Besides, our Foopie's a growing boy. He could use a little more meat in his diet!

Anti-Cosmo: But it's totally processed junk! And...I'm a vegetarian. Remember?

Anti-Wanda: Since when?

Anti-Cosmo: Since I did research on what they even do to those poor animals! It's not pretty.

Foop: QUIET! I have news. The Cramp Twins is filming here in Royal Woods and WE'RE all going.

Anti-Wanda: The what?

Anti-Cosmo: The Cramp Twins. Apparently, it's this big semi-reality show. The whole thing's scripted...but the actors play as themselves. Foop's really into it.

Anti-Wanda: Well, then. I'd be delighted to take you!

Foop: Great! I can't wait to tell Goldie the good news!

~ ~ ~

Foop told Goldie the news.

Goldie: Foopie... I don't know if this is such a good idea.

Foop: Of course it is!

Goldie: But you didn't even ask me! I don't even LIKE the Cramp Twins like you do! It's lame, boring, and frankly...STUPID! I'm shocked you're even into that show!

Foop: Hey, that show made me laugh when Jorgen was imprisoning my family. Or when Anti-Goldie and Poof were picking on me every day at Spellementary School. Or when Ms. Powers favorited Poof over me. Or when the Pixies were being their boring, droll selves. Look, Goldie. It's funny. And it certainly is NOT stupid. Wayne and Lucien have a unique bond that makes me wish I had a brother.

Goldie: But Wayne always picks on Lucien. Is that really who you'd want your brother to be?

Foop: Come on! Please come to it for me.

Goldie rolled her eyes.

Goldie: Fine. I'll do it for you. Who knows? It might be fun.

Foop: That's the spirit!

~ ~ ~

Foop, Goldie, Anti-Cosmo, and Anti-Wanda made it to the sound-stage where the Cramp Twins was currently being filmed.

All around them was the traditional Soap City and swamp location.

By the big white house were 3 boys. One with a blueish complexion, a nerdy looking one, and an extremely tiny one.

Blueish boy: Lucien, mom wants you to get ready for dinner!

Lucien: But Tony and I were building a fort, Wayne.

Tony: It's really cool! Take a look.

Wayne sneered at it and blew a leaf-blower at it. The little leaf fort was blown to smithereens.

Wayne: Well now it's a pile of leaves, Girl-pants!

Wayne left and headed inside.

The director clapped and shut off the camera.

Director: OKAY! That's a wrap! Nice work, boys!

Wayne, Lucien, and Tony fist-bumped the director and went over to a snack table.

Foop noticed this and went over to them.

Foop: WOW! That was an AMAZING scene!

Lucien: You really think so?

Wayne: And who are you?

Foop: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Foop and I came to see the show live.

Wayne: I thought you looked familiar. You were the one who wouldn't stop commenting on the Cramp Twins' YouTube channel about seeing the show be filmed up close. Nice to meet you, Foop.

Foop: And you're my favorite, Wayne.

Wayne: I get that a lot...

Lucien and Tony eyed Wayne.

Wayne: Well, maybe not A lot...

~ ~ ~

The next scene began to be filmed.

A pretty black haired girl was building a tree-house of her own...next to Wayne's room.

Lucien and Tony noticed this.

Lucien tapped the girl on the shoulder.

She turned around.

Girl: What do you want?

Lucien noticed her.

Lucien: WENDY?!

Wendy: You two had a great idea of building a tree-house....but mine's going to be a tree-CASTLE!

Wendy pointed to the big castle above her.

Lucien: Okay. And if you EVER think of building it by my tree-house....

Tony: Then we're going to have some problems. Besides, this tree won't fit a tree-castle AND our tree-house in anyways!

Lucien: It's just nature!

Wendy: Well, I have you know... This tree-castle will be right by Wayne's room! Where is he?

Wendy could hear Wayne and Lucien's mother and Wayne arguing with each other in a nearby window.

Wendy: Over here boys!

The construction workers pulled Wendy's tree-castle over by the window Wendy was pointing at.

Lucien rolled his eyes as Wendy went over to Wayne's window.

Wendy: Oh, Waynie!!

Wayne opened his window and shrieked.

Wayne: WENDY! Are you stalking me?!

Wendy: Of course not silly! Now. Can I use your bathroom?

Wendy started to enter through Wayne's window.

Wayne: Oh no you don't!

Wayne pushed Wendy out of the window and she landed on the ground.

The director clapped yet again and turned off the camera.

Director: Excellent work! Somebody wake up Wendy and get her some water!

A few members of the crew proceeded to wake Wendy up and gave her a glass of water.

Foop and Goldie both watched this.

Foop: That was amazing!

Goldie: Uh. Amazing?

Wendy went up to the snack table and grabbed a cupcake.

Foop went right up to her.

Foop: Wendy, that was amazing! Acting like you had a crush on Wayne. Creeping him out. That takes skill.

Wendy: What are you talking about, weirdo? Wayne and I will be soulmates and there's NOTHING anyone can do to stop me and Wayne from getting together!

Foop was miffed.

Foop: Well, I just thought-

Wendy: You just thought? Wandy WILL be a reality! You'll see!

Wendy flipped her hair and left.

Foop: Dang. She creepy...

Goldie went up to Foop and draped her arm around him.

Goldie: Are you okay? Should we go?

Foop: Of course not! I wanna see what happens next!

Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda went over to Foop and Goldie.

Anti-Cosmo: Besides. It's getting late. It's almost dinner time.

Anti-Wanda: And it's you're lucky day! We're getting Popeye's!

Foop: More fried chicken, mother? Are you serious?

Anti-Wanda shrugged.

Foop: And besides. We're staying!

Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, and Goldie shrugged.

Anti-Cosmo: Fine. But 5 more minutes.

~ ~ ~

It definitely was not five minutes. That episode was finished filming for the night.

Wayne, Lucien, Tony, and Wendy were about to leave the sound-stage when Foop stopped them.

Foop: You guys! We need to take a commemorative photo for tonight!

Lucien: Of course, Foop.

Wayne: Glad you enjoyed my show. And Wendy, get off my back!

Sure enough, Wendy was stroking Wayne's back, to him being creeped out.

Tony: Well, that commemorative photo may be a problem. I'm SO short!

Foop: No problem, Tony.

Foop propped Tony on Goldie's shoulders, who was standing next to Foop.

Goldie: I don't want to be in the picture...

Foop: Oh, you'll love it!

Foop handed his phone to Anti-Cosmo, who took the picture.

~ ~ ~

On the way home, Foop couldn't stop talking about the day.

Foop: It was AMAZING! The Cramp Twins are really nice. Tony's AWESOME! But Wendy has GOT to get a life! Wayne's NEVER going to date her!

Goldie: Well. Wayne's pretty disgusting. The way he ate Lucien's sandwich that was on the floor in that one scene. That way he never bathes! I SMELLED car exhaust on him when we did that photo. But...Lucien's pretty cool. It seems he has Wayne's back when he told Wendy that Wayne isn't interested in her.

Anti-Cosmo: Well, I'm glad you two had fun. Maybe we COULD go tomorrow if I finish my novel on time.

Foop smiled and hugged Goldie.