Amensol's Shadow: Collision

#### The second tale of the unseen pillar of the house of Amensol

*It’s right there.  I can feel it.  If it were right in front of me, my fingertips would slip right off its surface*, Honnai thought to himself.

*Why is everything so hazy? Why can’t I remember? I hate this cursed place…*

Honnai often felt there was a piece of himself missing, especially when he was around Avendyr, the king’s overachieving son.  He hated the time they were together, and he hated himself even more for feeling that way. After all, Avendyr was the closest thing to family he had.

Honnai’s only known relative had been his grandfather who passed away shortly after their arrival in Terminus.  It wasn’t so much an arrival as an upheaval.  For reasons unknown, a large number of the human race had been brought to Terminus, along with a piece of their heritage, the land of Vas Demith.  What happened to Vas Demith or the rest of the human race, and why they were chosen to depart their world and crash into the world of Terminus was an unsolvable puzzle so perplexing that most had given up trying to figure it out. And they were not the only race to which this had happened.

The first winter of their arrival was catastrophic in more ways than one.  Many had died. If it had not been for the help of the elven people of Faerthale, many more would have joined them.  The human leader after the Collision was Amensol. He had led the human race through that dark time and brokered aid from the elves.  They gave of their abundance and, in return, gained a stalwart ally in the humans.  That same year, after the thaw, Amensol laid the foundations of the city of Havensong, and of his throne of power.  He was king.

The longboat swayed in the current.  At sea was usually the only place Honnai could find solace from his tortured mind. But with nowhere to refuge from the face of Avendyr, this long voyage had been a lesson in suffering.

*It’s right on the tip of my tongue. Why can’t I remember?!*

Amensol had been the last to see his grandfather alive.  He had been rescued as a young boy of around 4 years, nobody knew for sure, by Amensol in a forest during the Cursed Frost, their tragic first winter.  Many of the families were flung some distances from each other, and these wayward sky-travelers sought out their own and a way to survive.  Honnai’s grandfather and he had been found hiding in a felled forest by men.  There was an accident while Amensol was attempting to rescue the old man after saving Honnai, but he was tragically lost in a fire that consumed the entire area in the middle of a snowy winter.  Such an outlandish tale would have been enough to cry false in another instance, but in the ignorance of the ways of Terminus and after the fate that had just befallen the world of men, it didn’t seem as implausible.  In the wake of these events, with nobody knowing the young boy, and the young boy not knowing much of himself, Amensol took it upon himself to ensure the boy was cared for. An elven couple with no offspring of their own brought him in to their home during that winter.  Reu and Elhonaya cared well for him and allowed him to learn under elvish schoolmasters.  They had named him, since he did not speak his name from the death of his grandfather.  He did not know it.  Honnai, meaning sorrow, was given to the boy who had lost so much and carried that weight every step he took.

“You see it yet?” Amensol asked the lookout at the bow of the boat.  The fog was making it difficult to maneuver.  An elven diviner had not graced this trip, so they used the best tool the humans had brought with them for such a journey: common sense.

“Should be close, Lord. Within the hour by my map,” the sailor answered back.  Humans were borne out of water and though they had no gills or fins of scales, it was always their home.  They were no doubt a seafaring people.

“Hon, I’m dying here,” Avendyr looked over at Honnai, unable to keep himself still.

“If you ask me one more time if we’re there yet, I will throw you overboard,” Honnai huffed.  Honnai was Avendyr’s favorite person in the world, and whenever he had occasion to see him, he never left his side.

“So, do you think there will be any young Ginto ladies there? Father may have to marry me off to one of them, you know, for a treaty or something,” Avendyr continued unceasing. “I look older than I am, right? You weren’t much older than 16 when you married.  And I’m like sixteen and a half.  We could at least be betrothed.”

Honnai allowed the questions, not just out of a duty to his rescuer and somewhat adopted family, but he was also grateful for the distraction. He shot back,” You don’t even know what the Ginto look like. They could have two heads, look like boars, breathe toxic gas from their nostrils, or their skin could be on fire. We also don’t have any accords with the Dwarven nation.  Perhaps your father can arrange for you to be married to the handsomest bearded female of Khadassa.”

“Furthermore,” Honnai continued,” I was 19 when I was married.  I remember because it was two years ago. And, lastly, you look about three days weened. The fuzz on your chin isn’t even noticeable due to the glaring pimple marks on your face.”

*“… not fitting!  This is not fitting!  You will stay here!”*

Honnai grabbed his head. A throb of pain gripped him as his grandfather’s words seemed to pierce his ears.  He did not remember this conversation. Why was it flashing in his mind?

*Who is he talking to? Me? I was too young. I wouldn’t be going anywhere.  Who is that girl crying?*

“I do not appreciate that.  I’ll have you know it’s short because I have started shaving,” Avendyr continued, oblivious to Honnai’s condition. “I shave all the time now, early in the morning, after my swordsmanship lessons. Did you notice how big my arms are getting? They’re at least twice the size of Calcio’s. He’s so dumb…”

*What is this house? I do not know this house? Is that a horse in the house?*

“Land. 40 cubits starboard. Bring her around, mate,” the lookout peered into the bright haze.

“Finally,” King Amensol sighed. His weary look turned light and confident once more.  This was a meeting he had waited for ever since learning that the Ginto’s fallen god Ittero had began raising an army against his own people. His one goal was world domination and his powers and troop size were a concern to all. “Men, gather your things.  Let’s see what Destiny has waiting for us, eh, Hahaha?!”

Honnai snapped out of it long enough to hear the order.  He reached over for his sword and bedroll. He braced himself on the railing of the ship’s side, and another searing pain in his head sent him back down to the deck with a moan.

*“… is not fitting! You will stay here! He is married, ignorant girl!”*

*“I love him and he loves me. He told me. I don’t care what you say!”*

*Horse. Wooden horse. My horse. The horse in that house was my horse. Home. This is home.*

Honnai was crumpled to his knees, the headache debilitating. He knew the place in the flashes he was getting. It was his home. But it was no home he had known on Terminus. This was somewhere else.

*Vas Demith. This is my home…*

*”… don’t care what you say!”*

*“You are a fool. He doesn’t love you. He abandoned you and the boy; left you to for me to care for and to bear the shame for his actions!”*

*Home. Mom.  That’s my mom. My mom…*

“Hon! Hey, are you ok?” Avendyr leaned over and grabbed Honnai’s shoulders.  Honnai was unaware of anything taking place around him. He stayed there, crouched over with his forearms and face on the deck, rocking and moaning.

A sailor quipped at him while gathering up his things,” Bah, told you not to eat that jerky, mate. Don’t even know what kind of animal that was. Gotta love Terminus, haha.”

*Mom. Why are she and Grandfather arguing? Who is abandoning us?*

*“…don’t care what you say!”*

*Mom, where are you going? Don’t pack our things. I don’t want to leave Grandfather’s.*

*“… bear the shame for his actions! … can’t lose you… my daughter like a prostitute!”*

The longboat jerked slightly forward.  The sand made a crunching sound through the timbers on the bottom of the vessel. Most of the men and elves who were part of the summit meeting on the island of Vesu were busy caring for their own items, not noticing the young man keeled over at the back of the boat.  Elven emissaries and members of King Amensol’s council had brought gifts to exchange with their counterparts coming to the island, as was their custom.  This was the most important meeting in the human nation of Terminus. Havensong had risen to enough prestige to be counted as a leader in the longstanding land of the elves.  The elves had been transplanted in Terminus through a Collision of their own, but had been settled for hundreds of years, and ruled their lands well.  The addition of another race of powerful beings did give cause for concern for the balance of power on their continent. After all, not all races in Terminus saw eye to eye. Fortunately, the human’s early reliance on the elves had both indebted them to the elves and had also allowed the humans to thrive and add yet another powerful ally to the elves’ aim for peace and prosperity in their new homeland.

“Hey, was it that jerky?” Avendyr whispered to his big adopted brother.

*Mom, I don’t want to leave Grandfather’s.  Where are we going? Who is this man, Honnai thought deeply. His back. Woolen cloak. A market.  His back is to me. That has to be him. Mom joins him in the alley, out of sight. Mom is sad. I can’t hear what they’re saying.  He left down the alley. Mom is crying. Can’t see his face.*

*”… like a prostitute! This is not fitting! This is not fitting! You will stay here! He is married, ignorant girl!”*

*Argh, this conversation is twisted. I can’t get it straight.*

*“… ignorant girl! Mmmffmmm is a married man!*

Another sharp pain raced through Honnai’s head. This time, he could not hold back a yell.  Avendyr noticed this was something beyond rotgut. He whispered to Honnai to stay put while he got help. Amensol was already off the boat, his mind consumed with the meeting, the proper first introduction to the Ginto Remnants, those who had not left to follow their now demi-god, High Mortal Ittero. He was surrounded by the Elven leadership. Avendyr pushed his way through to his father, the king.

*Mom, I don’t want to leave! This is my home! What is this man’s name, this man who abandoned you? His name is right here. What is it! I have to know!*

*”Mmmffrrmf is a married man! … shames you… shames me… Mmmffrrlll!”*

Honnai’s pain was deep. He wasn’t even sure if it was coming from his head, or coming from his mind.  He felt his heart broken, his life ripped from him, fear, apprehension, anxiety, loss.

*Loss. Mom, I want to stay.*

All at once and with no precursor, Honnai’s pain subsided. His mind returned to where he was. The faint sounds of chattering men and clanging metal faded back into his ears. He paused for a moment, as if waking from a surreal dream.  He raised his back and sat up on his knees, looking around and regaining his awareness. He heard someone yelling his name. It sounded like Avendyr.

“… need to come look at him. Father, please!” Avendyr begged.  He pulled at the king’s arm until Amensol acquiesced with a scowl. This distraction had better be merited, Amensol thought.

Avendyr spun his father around and pulled him all the way back through the maze of people getting off the boat. Amensol looked over the last few of his soldiers to see Honnai kneeling by his gear on the boat, looking around as if scouting out the coastline. Avendyr finally caught glimpse of Honnai who appeared to be doing much better.  He turned his eye slowly back to his father, foreseeing the inevitable look that would be awaiting him.  He was not disappointed.

“Father, I promise, I thought he was dying,” Avendyr pleaded.  Amensol cast his look of fatherly disappointment, turned and headed back to the waiting council members and emissaries.  Avendyr raced back over to Honnai.

“Are you ok? Was it the jerky? I thought you were dying or something, Avendyr said barely stopping to breathe as he rambled on about all the things that he thought could be wrong with Honnai.

Honnai interrupted him. “Hey, just give me a second. Go… catch up to the group. I’ll be there soon to continue my duties as babysitter. Go on,” he dismissed Avendyr.  Reluctantly, Avendyr got off the boat once more and began sulking his way back to the group who had headed into a forest.

Honnai took several deep breaths, clearing his head and his body from that episode.  His mind didn’t want to even think about all the memories that had flooded back to him. He was blocking them out, too difficult to even discern right now.  His mind returned to his duty. Pack. March. Protect.

Ever since Honnai was old enough to swing a sword, he swung it well. After he spent a few winters with the elves and his caretakers, he began living fulltime back with his own people. Previously, his summers had been spent in the household of Amensol, learning from the King and sitting at his table.  Of course, they were new here and being King of the Vagabonds was not a title that lent itself to lavish trappings.  Summers were hard work: building stables, barns, dwellings, cultivating and harvesting, and his personal favorite, battle training. Amensol always kept him close by, one eye on the business at hand and one eye seemingly on Honnai.  Honnai had always believed that he felt guilty for not being able to save his grandfather, so he made it his mission to protect the boy as he had promised his grandfather just before he died.

Amensol also had a keen interest in Honnai, asking him often in his youth about his family, about his home, what he remembered about his grandfather.  The toll of the Collision on those who bore it left many unanswered questions, not just about how it happened, but about their previous lives in Vas Demith.  There were plenty of people with pretty good memories of their former lives, but it was common to have holes in those memories. Many family members were forgotten.  What was your profession?  What did the grass smell like?  What was your favorite meal? What type of animals were dangerous to humans there?  And for someone as young as Honnai, memories were especially spotty. He had years ago written off remembering anything of his life back home.  But Amensol had tried to help him.  He prodded him with questions, hoping to light the way to some new lost memory.  He had often tried to get him to remember his given name, or his mother and father’s names. He didn’t even know his Grandfather’s name. To a four-year-old boy, his name IS Grandfather.

Honnai was five when Avendyr was born, and early on, Honnai was the big brother and protector of little Avendyr.  He would be told that this little child would one day be the King and that he would be the one to look out for and protect him, and what an important job that is for anyone to have. It was probably the best job in the entire world.

Once Honnai reached his teenage years, all his emotions about his family, his grandfather, his current lot, watching over a little kid who would be greater than him, even though he had to teach him everything and take care of him and make sure he didn’t do something stupid, ate at him and all the sorrows from his early childhood were reawakened.  He wanted nothing more than to have any other job in the world than guardian of the King’s son.  Every time Honnai looked at Avendyr, it reminded him that Avendyr had everything and Honnai had lost everything, and there was nothing he could do about it.  He wasn’t sure why but seeking the approval of Amensol above his own son was always an unobtainable goal, and he knew it.

He found some peace in the arms of a girl, the daughter of a husbandry man. She rode fiercely and with reckless speed, and her sense of adventure compelled Honnai.  She was his age, and as soon as they were of marrying age, he wasted no time in trying to fill the familial hole he felt so sharply.  Just before leaving on this journey, she had told him she was with child. That news, while exciting, ate at Honnai and brought back a wave of emotions of his own childhood, his jealousy of Avendyr’s lot in life, and his own lack of heritage. He had struggled mightily to remember a shred of anything. Now that he had, he wanted it to go away.

Honnai brought up the rear of the party, heading to the established meeting place on the Isle of Vesu. This would be many days, waiting for all parties to arrive.  All six of the transplanted races, and the native inhabitants of Terminus were meeting with the remnants of the Ginto people to discuss how best to handle the new threat to their existence. Honnai welcomed an excuse to fight. His skills were impressive, on their way to being comparable to Amensol himself, probably one of the greatest warriors of the human race. It wasn’t his technique, it was his confidence in every motion, every pivot, every swing of his blade.  There were no second guesses; his first guess was always right.

The forest on Vesu was quiet. The wildlife was rare which was strange looking around at the ground and seeing no tracks from animals to speak of.  The land looked basically untouched, except for the trail they were currently on.  The surroundings were quiet, broken only by the clang of a sword or the mumble of a low conversation. A muffled voice was speaking just ahead. It became louder and clearer. They were yelling Amensol’s name.

Honnai raced into the pack searching out the king and his son.  As he drew closer, he heard someone once again holler the king’s name.

***“…Amensol!”***

The pain was back.  Not now, Honnai thought to himself.  He almost was thrown to the ground by the shock. He recovered and staggered forward.

“…Amensol!”

This time, the memory hit him like a stone and he lost his balance and fell with his face in the dirt.

“Amensol is a married man!”

*Wait.  I am projecting. This is just my memories being corrupted by my feelings… right? Mom, I don’t want to leave.*

“Baby, I’ll be right back…” “You will stay here! Abandoned you and the boy… Stay here!”“Baby, I’ll be right back…” “The boy… stay here!” “I’ll be right back…”

Honnai couldn’t move. Tears welled in his eyes as they lay facing moist ground.  His hand stretched out for his mother, for the child being left, for the past that was stolen.

“No,” he whispered,” I don’t want to leave…”

His memory came in quick flashes. He saw his mom leave crying, his grandfather yelling, his grandfather crying.  He was consoled. His mother was coming right back.  She just had to meet someone in the village.  But the villagers didn’t talk to them.  He played only with his mother and grandfather. And then it happened, an earsplitting noise, flashes of blinding light, roars of unending thunder, and nothing. He remembered his grandfather, and the cold. It was so cold.  He had carried the boy through the snow for days, yelling his mother’s name. He found something in the snow under a tree.  He had cried. He had cried for days. He didn’t yell his mother’s name anymore.  They were found. He lost his grandfather. One last night sleeping on his grandfather’s lap.

“Baby, I’ll be right back…”

*No, you won’t.  I’ll never see you again. I’ll never see home again. I’ll never see Grandfather again. Amensol.  Amensol is my father. I have a father. I hate Amensol. But I crave the love of Amensol. I hate and love my father. Life is bitter, Mother. I will not leave my son as you left me.  I will protect him. I love you, Mom. I didn’t want to go.*

Honnai heard rustling. Shouting. His thoughts returned for a brief second.  Someone was shouting Amensol’s name, the King’s name, his father’s name.  He jumped to his feet and sprinted into the gaggle of politicians. They were all yelling and vying for the safest location in the pack.

“Amensol!” Honnai shouted.  He ran, glancing quickly in his peripheral for the king.  He spotted Avendyr. He was separated from the group, looking dazed.  He grabbed his neck. Avendyr felt the soft tuft of feather. The sensation was strange. He needed to run. He didn’t know why. Away. So, he did.

Avendyr took off sluggishly deeper into the forest off the trail. The king’s men were shouting and surrounding.  A couple broke off and sped after Avendyr. Honnai took off in their direction.  It was then he heard the first rustlings in the trees.  He heard a crash in the direction of the two soldiers chasing Avendyr.  He only saw one.  He scanned as he continued to chase. Another man was shouting.

“Revenant!” they cried.  Revenant was the name for the fallen Ginto pursuing their new dark lord, the enemy of the peoples of Terminus. *Revenant are here*, thought Honnai.  He heard another crash and this time spotted the cause. A body had dropped from a tree onto the remaining soldier. There was what appeared to be a sword sticking from the squirming body of the soldier. This was not good.

Honnai began scanning treetops as he ran. “Avendyr!” he yelled out. Avendyr pressed on.  Not 5 steps later, Avendyr tripped and landed with a hard thud on the forest floor.  Honnai finally caught up. He rolled Avendyr over and noticed his pupils dilated. He was mumbling something about running away.  There was a dart in his neck.  Honnai pulled it out and sniffed the tip. There was a sweet and flowery scent that was unrecognizable to him.  It was definitely some type of hallucinogen.

“Hang on, little brother. I’ve got you,” Honnai scooped him up off the ground. He needed to get him back to the group fast.  It appeared like the King’s men were headed his way slowly and methodically, no doubt clearing and protecting the King as they all moved safely to his location.  There was no way to know how many Revenant were on the island.  Obviously, this was an attempt to squelch the meeting before it began.  Taking out some heads of state would go a great way in taking the fighting spirit out of your enemy.  Honnai shouldered Avendyr’s limp body and set off in as fast of a stride as he could muster.

Something bit him. He swatted his neck. A dart. Quickly, he pulled it out, the same as the other.  His head went fuzzy.  His vision very slowly blurred.

Keep it together, Hon.

His pace slowed but he pressed on as quick as he could.  There was a rustle in a tree above him. As fast as he could draw his sword with the free arm not holding Avendyr, the Revenant soldier was upon him. His sword came free from its sheath just in time to parry the first swing. He knew he could not fight while carrying a man on one shoulder. He kicked leaves and dirt into the face of the enemy, and placed Avendyr’s body on the ground with a thud. Sorry, he thought.  There was no time to do that nicely.

The Revenant soldier swung with a roar, high overhead crossing swing. Honnai quickly dodged just under the blade’s arc and brought the pommel of his sword directly into the ribcage of his enemy with a crack. He knew he had broken ribs. He paced up to his enemy to look him in the eyes as he thrust his blade into the wounded soldier. It pierced with a sickening gurgle. The enemy fell to the ground.

*(Snap)*

Honnai didn’t hear this one in time and a second Revenant soldier landed to his rear and kicked him in the small of his back. His balance was thrown off by the dying body at his feet and he fell to the ground and quickly rolled to get eyes on his enemy.  The Revenant jumped at him with all fours.  It had large talons on both hands and swiped quickly at him. Honnai pushed the incoming hands to the side as the body fell beside him. He maneuvered for position and won, mounting the downed Revenant. He quickly pulled a long dagger from his side and shoved it through the heart of his pinned foe.  The Revenant let out a screech. Then it looked at him as he was expiring.

“You… will… die by our… hands,” the Revenant gasped.

“But not today,” Honnai replied with a stern face.

The Revenant laughed, coughing and sucking for one last breath. “You…” And then he was dead.

Honnai dismounted the enemy and reached over to grab Avendyr once more. The King’s patrol was fast approaching now.  As he reached, a pain traveled through his arm.  He had a scratch on his upper arm, most likely from those claws, he thought.  He noticed it foaming in the open wound. He was feeling light-headed again. All of a sudden, he lost his strength and slowly slid over on his side, right next to Avendyr.

“Hon… is that you? I don’t feel so well,” Avendyr sputtered. The agent was already beginning to wear off.

Honnai tried to speak, but he felt his muscles relaxing all over his body. It was hard to take a breath.

The king ran through his guard and fell to his knees beside his son. He looked him over and spoke with him to make sure he was going to recover. He then turned to check on Honnai, the savior of Avendyr.

“Hey… you protected my boy. I’m so very proud of you,” Amensol said, noticing the mortal wound festering on Honnai’s arm.

“The boy… stay here,” Honnai said under his breath, the poison already affecting his mind. “Stay here. I don’t… want to leave.”

“I know,” Amensol said, as a tear began its way down his weathered face. “I’ll stay here with you. I’m not leaving.”

Honnai mustered enough strength to tug the king’s coat toward him.  He whispered into the king’s ear,”I… know you.”

“I know.”

Honnai whispered,”I am… your boy…”

“… I know.”

Honnai closed his eyes, thinking of his mother.