The appreciation journal

**The appreciation journal** was the 7th and final post on the peace. love. zen. blog.

## Content

In this day and age, it's easy to find ourselves constantly craving MORE. We think, "Ah, if only I had 'this', I'd be SO happy!". Then shortly after, we think, "I'm happy that I have 'this', but I could be even happier if I had 'that'! It's an endless cycle; we crave something, we finally get it, we're satisfied for a bit, but then before we know it, a new craving takes the place of the old one. So what's wrong with constantly striving for more, you ask? Well, the main issue is that if we're in a mindset where we're constantly craving more, that means we're not content with what we have now. And if we can't feel content with life as it is, in this very moment, well- then unfortunately odds are we'll never feel fully content. There will ALWAYS be that factor of "...but I could be even happier if... 'xyz'. This mentality will leave us always looking longingly to the future for happiness, meanwhile happiness is standing right beside us, if only we'd embrace it.

I'd like to share a quote that was posted on my instagram page (thanks, @christinawilson8) that I feel really relates to this topic. It goes as follows:

"People confuse their source of happiness. They become temporarily happy when they get a new car, a new house or a new marriage. They think that they are suddenly happy because of this new thing in their life. In reality, they are happy because for a brief moment, they are without desire. But then soon another desire comes along, and the search continues."

And here's another great one, this time from Oprah:

"If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you look at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough."

Now of course, a bit of desire is to be expected- it keeps life exciting! I'm definitely not saying that we should restrict ourselves from EVER buying new things, or that we should just embrace our entry-level position at work! However, it IS important that we don't allow our cravings to get the best of us! Generally speaking, the more we crave, the more our happiness will plummet... and the more we embrace our life as it is, the more our happiness will increase. Imagine with me for a moment... you know those tipping scales where one side balances out the other? Well, imagine on one side we have our happiness and on the other we have our cravings. We can crave a little (i.e., new shoes, promotion at work, etc.) and our happiness will still be at a relatively nice place, it may drop a tiny bit, but no big deal. But if we constantly refuse to silence these cravings and continuously chase after them, well, our scale will be very imbalanced.

Steve Jobs and Walt Disney, two people who are generally referred to as extremely successful, are great examples of people who refused to control their desire for more. They had a million cravings and they relentlessly went after them. They each gave the world a beautiful gift, but it most certainly came at a price. I think you can imagine what Steve Jobs' scale of "happiness vs cravings" must have looked like. He was rarely satisfied and constantly striving for advancement- which made him one hell of a businessman, but without a doubt took a colossal toll on his happiness and mental health. Sadly, this is the success model that most of us look to; we believe that endless grueling hardwork will bring us ultimate "success" (success being commonly defined as acquiring wealth/material possessions, recognition and power) and thus, ultimate happiness. But that is purely happiness for our ego, not for us. And unfortunately, it usually takes people grinding away for their entire lives before they reach their goals and realize that it didn't quite bring the level of happiness that they expected. That's because real success isn't about money, fame or feeding our ego... it's about building a mentality and lifestyle that enables us to truly become our happiest.

I'd like to point out that I, too, have greatly struggled with silencing my cravings. Once upon a time, I found myself feeling like maybe if I had a more luxurious lifestyle, I'd become more desirable to my viewers (i.e., the ridiculous "success" of the Kardashian family). And if I was more desirable to my viewers, I would gain more popularity, which would allow me to indulge in MORE cravings, which would inevitably lead me to ultimate happiness... right? I mean, it's not hard for one to come to this conclusion; you can look at so many girls online and see how this formula has indeed gotten them "success". They’re “goals”; they paint their lives to be seem so drool-worthy that they’ve inspired many to believe that they’ve achieved ultimate happiness. But have they found real success or modern-society's definition of success? Are they truly happy living that lifestyle that relies on always craving more? I can't say for sure, but my experience and intuition tells me more likely no than yes.

So if craving more is so detrimental, how do we put an end to it? The answer is simple. Our cravings will lessen once we learn to appreciate what we have right in front of us. As in, REALLY learn to appreciate it! And I don't mean just reflect on it once in a blue moon, like saying what we're thankful for on Thanksgiving, I mean reflect on it DAILY. Build a habit of this daily reflection, and soon enough you will find that you have re-wired your brain to have immense appreciation for your life, as it is. This will bring so much happiness, one cannot even fathom it until trying.

This is where "The Appreciation Journal" comes into play. A few times a week, in a notebook, I'd like for you to write five things that you appreciate in your life. Just five things. I will share my latest entry as an example:

* I appreciate my body's ability to heal itself. I cut my finger badly, but I already know that my body is hard at work to close the wound.
* I appreciate the immense love that I feel for/from Cyrus. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful partner in life who encourages me to be the best me I can be.
* I appreciate that I'm in a position where I can reach so many people and potentially help them find happiness.
* I appreciate that I live in comfort. My apartment is cozy, clean and so lovely.
* I appreciate my kitties. The bursts of joy they bring me is unlike anything else in my life.

I urge you to dig deep, to think of the things that you're likely taking for granted at the moment. Things such as... the functionality of your eyes, your heart, your lungs, your legs and your hands. Our health is MAJOR and something that we should be so grateful to have. We think we appreciate it, but really, we don't. We get a small glimpse of our real appreciation whenever we're sick or injured. We think, "Damn! If only I could get over this and get back to my life, I'd be so grateful!" But that gratefulness only lasts for so long and then we're back to taking our health for granted. Reminds me of this quote: "A person who has their health has a thousand dreams. But a person who's lost their health has only one."

I hope this exercise can enrich your life in the same way that it has my own. It may seem crazy that you can achieve an increase in happiness simply from a mental shift, but I assure you, it is true. It will likely take you a few weeks before you feel a difference, but if your heart is in the right place, it will come. And this is only the beginning. There are so many other steps you can take that will lead you down the path of true ultimate happiness. Join me on the journey!