The slightly cut-down but still highly amusing version of the original article of the Australian Science and Mathematics School wiki including Starwars references, a Rick-Roll, the story of the Van-Der-Zwaag, quotage from pac-man and a joke

The complete, original and incredibly amusing version of the original article of the Australian Science and Mathematics School wiki including original art, live links and an infobox is available here:ASMS Original Article

The **Australian Science and Mathematics School** (or **ASMS**) is a magical place full of joy and wonder and wondrous joy located in the Bermuda Triangle and kept under watch by the constantly vigilant eye of Sauron atop his tower of Barad-Dur in Mordor. As the school is unzoned, it attracts students from all across the Visible Spectrum including fairies, pixies, centaurs, minotaurs, ghosts, ghouls, poltergeists, rangas and the occassional werewolf. The students travel far from all four corners of the land, plus some from tasmania. The goal of the school is to prepare its students for the evil and harsh lands particularly in the fields of treasure hunting and pokemon|pokemon training. The ASMS is unconventional in its approach to education, emphasising a "heres some potassium nitrate, do with it what you will" style to learning with all manner of fun ingredients open for student use.

## Overview

The Australian Science and Mathematics School was opened on mars but was accidently beamed to earth by Scotty, which is why its so messed up when viewed from above, and is still the only current school that employs daemons and martians as teachers, as well as dolphins and dust bunnies. As the school is designed to provide a cursed environment for young, beautiful and easily corruptable minds, there is no 4chan policy, which promotes a variety of culture and social styles and structures. A key feature of the ASMS is the productive relationship between the school and the Flinders University cafeteria. This is easily the most important feature of the school; the ASMS shares many lunches with the university, including chocolate donuts, hot chips, wedges, iced coffees and mother, in addition to lecture theatres and specialist science and support rooms, all with cooking facilities. Furthermore, students at the ASMS in collaboration with Flinders University's Science and Technology Enterprise Partnership (STEP) may be involved in proving the bible wrong on a number of issues. One student has recently proven that "Jesus", "pie", "cheese" and "fish" cannot be included in a sentence that makes sense.

## Curriculums

The ASMS is a specialist sorcery and mathemagic school, however it offers a comprehensive curriculum which covers all learning areas necessary, including defence against the dark arts, potions, charms, muggle studies, and herbology for students to achieve their Ordinary Wizarding Levels (OWLs) qualification. If the ASMS does not offer a desired subject, the student will be transported by government-paid taxi to a neighbouring (or "Alliance") star system for their lessons in that subject.

## Central Studies

Central Studies are the epitome of learning at the ASMS. All enrolled students hope that they can reach this level of awesomeness, but, sadly, only about one third of the school is in this select group at any given time. Some of the activities that can be undertaken by these students involve caring for the schools mudkipz and travelling through the school stargate on field trips with the ordo xenos, the rebel alliance and the crew from the enterprise.

## Extra-Curricular

The ASMS offers a wide variety of extra-curricular activities including thumb wrestling championships, frisbee tournaments, toy boat gutter races, trolling, unicorn riding and facepalming.

## Honourary Guest and/or Ruler

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away there was an ancient race of intergalactic spacefaring beings who traveled the universe in search of a backwater planet. They came across a planet known to its people as "Earth". They quickly passed the planet up as worthless but they left behind one of thir own. The creature mimicked our cellular and biochemical structure in order to blend in and sow the seeds of heresy among our people. This evil seemed sure to rise to power and rule the world but on the eve of its ascent it was struck down by a young boy. This boy was none other than Geryl from Darwin and he was blessed with powers from intergalactic superior humanoids. Geryl went on to take the creatures place and now stands proudly as the awesome ruler of a peaceful ASMS. This story has been passed down from generation to generation and is known as "Geryl and the Van-Der-Zwaag"

## Pac-Man

Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka.

## Residents

Among the students and teachers there are a few permanent residents at the school. One of the most well known occupants is the honourable Kevin Nelson. Kevin is not only the best known resident, but he is also the most well travelled, with frequent trips to marion for some chillin' time. Whilst not strictly a resident, Spongebob Squarepants is a well known face around the campus and can often be seen on holiday from his pineapple under the sea. One of the lesser known residents is the extraordinary Captain Awesome, who can be relied upon to fly in and save the day just in the nick of time. The Captain operates out of the underground dungeon hidden below the school, codenamed "The Awesome Cave". The school also keeps a healthy supply of mudkipz, which, in between regular word rally competions, defend the world from iminent invasion by evil teddy bears with peas.

## Places Of Interest

There are many places of interest in and around the ASMS. The most notable of these would probably be the front door, which is protected by a "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!" spell cast upon it by the white wizard to stop any balrog from entering the school. Another place of interest would definetely be Learning Common 2, or, affectionately named by the students, "The Batcave". Whilst no connection with Batman is actually apparent many student refer to LC2 as The Batcave and it is rumoured that some plan to give it a facelift in the near future.

## Transport

Transport to and from the school is mostly by way of X-Wings, Y-Wings and Shaw-Fujikawa powered starships. These ships are piloted and maintained by the students who gain their intergalactic licences within the first few months and can later elect to learn how to maintain warp-drive engines to prevent the need for short stops on small desert planets at the edge of the galaxy

## THE GAME

There's no strangers to love

You know the rules and so do i

No full commitments what Im thinking of

You wouldnt get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how Im feeling

Gotta make you understand

* never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Weve know each other for so long

Your hearts been aching

But youre too shy to say it

Inside we both know whats been going on

We know the game and were gonna play it

And if you ask me how Im feeling

Dont tell me youre too blind to see

(\* repeat)

Give you up. give you up

Give you up, give you up

Never gonna give

Never gonna give, give you up

Never gonna give

Never gonna give, five you up

I just wanna tell you how Im feeling

Gotta make you understand

(\* repeat 3 times)

## External links

* ASMS website
* Flinders University website