Heart of Stone, Heart of Glass

## Synopsis

As the Friends sit beside the body of Madame Drazkov, they see Lothario Windswept III approaching, singing Viva La Dragon Friends and bringing with him an army of noble Resistance members. He explains that the Masked Lords of Waterdeep have openly declared allegiance to Strahd, and the resistance have been forced to flee as thousands of citizens were killed. The majority are now gathering in the Red Run in Icewind Dale.

Philge presents Greatheart Banknote to the nobles as the original leader of the Resistance. Jacob jokingly asks them if they need to hear another song, and when the answer is overwhelmingly yes (even attracting some of the young Wolfen out of their hidey-holes), but rather than singing a plan for defeating Strahd he instead sings about having to abruptly sing a song and about recieving fellatio. Greatheart takes over and pulls out a map to attempt to explain the plan for attacking Strahd. Scouts have reported that Strahd's army includes Commander Brightwell who has been raised as a Wight, and several active Revenants. This means that Strahd must be using the Lodestone to control the Revenants, which requires a vast amount of psychic energy and is something that no-one living or undead, not even Strahd, is practiced in doing. The effort will substantially weaken him, potentially allowing the Friends to sneak in and attack him while Greatheart and the army mount a full attack on the encampment.

Jacob takes Bobby aside and quietly informs him that he has been training in shooting all of his life, and warns him that if he misses Strahd with the spellstone arrow this time there will be no possible second chances, and so offers Bobby the choice of letting him shoot the spellstone bolt at Strahd. Bobby tells Jacob that he has disgraced himself by allowing the Nightclaw Rangers to be attacked because he was obsessed with killing Strahd, and so he will not let him shoot the arrow, but he may join them to help. Bobby then briefs the other Friends, and Bobson Dugnutt announces that he will not go with the Friends but will ride in with the body of the army. Greatheart and Lionshield Banknote embrace, Greatheart finally agreeing that he loves and respects Lionshield, and Greatheart walks out to lead the army to likely death, passing Lionshield the family insignia from his cloak.

The Friends are able to sneak around to the Netherese Tower that the Nightclaws have reported Strahd to be using as his base for the Lodestone, and scale the quiet and abandoned tower to search. Jacob hears noise behind a door and encourages the Friends to keep quiet, but Baston fails and the door is opened by a mysterious spectral hand, revealing a huge chamber containing the gigantic Spellstone Monolith, and Strahd wearing a huge psychic helmet attached to a series of technomantic contraptions attached to the Monolith, covered in sweat and clearly in tremendous pain, but still aware of the Friends. Jacob immediately shoots Strahd with his longbow, hitting him in the heart, but revealing that the seated Strahd was an illusion and the real Strahd was invisibly beside the contraption, although still wearing the helmet.

*"Aa-haaagh.. I've kinda got some stuff on, if I'm really honest. I don't know if you've heard but there's a gigantic battle going on, it's quite clever to come now, I'll give you that, it was a bit clever of you. But, fuck off. Do you have any idea how 'too late' you are? You're too late by, I mean, not even, like hundreds of years, you fucking idiots. I'm controlling a whole unstoppable army with my fucking brain. I'm the first gamer vampire."*

Bobby tries to sneak up and steal the ring that Strahd previously absorbed the spellstone bolt into, but Strahd manages to detect him. He taunts Jacob, saying that he has learned about the prophecy from Madame Drizkov, and shoots Jacob with a vampirically poisoned bolt that begains to drain his blood.

*"Bobby Pancakes. You may remember that three years ago I offered you a deal. You know, I'm going to be honest, that hurt. I don't offer jobs often. I offered you to be my right-hand man, my weird little fucked-up guy, but you turned me down. You might think I'm the sort of person that offers second chances but I've got something a bit more interesting."*

Strahd uses a gem control to open a panel behind the obelisk, revealing a horribly emaciated and changed man, explaining that he is a mage who he found burning Strahd's spellbooks in the library, and who he offered the same deal. He tosses the loaded crossbow to the unknown figure, and the Friends feel that they have seen this man before, and Strahd tells him that he is the one person who may have hated the Friends more than Strahd. The emaciated man immediately asks What Have You Got There, revealing himself as Freezo. Bobby asks him to confirm that he really is Freezo by repeating the phrase Bobby said when he died, and Freezo correctly answers.

"*Let me tell you, I've been through some pretty wild stuff recently. There was like nine months when I looked like Tilda Swinton, OK? I had snail-stalk eyes coming out of me, there was like a week where I was being chased by bees for no good reason other than I was trying to get a potion just so a wizard would teach me how to use a book to get back here to find you, and instead what happened was that book I think I had to trade to a banker so he could take care of a feather which my other fucking friends have gone and stolen, I imagine.."*

Bobby tries to apologise to Freezo for what happened, but Strahd interrupts, declaring his deal - if Freezo kills Bobby and defeats the prophecy, then Strahd will allow him to rule the world with him. Bobby challenges Freezo to kill him with his bare hands rather than using the crossbow. Strahd unchains Freezo, and both Bobby and Freezo put down their crossbows; seeing Philge start to pick up Bobby's crossbow, Freezo picks them both up while clearly holding his hands away from the triggers to place them by the side of the obelisk. As he does, Lionshield attempts to grab Strahd, but Strahd spins and smashes him into the obelisk. As he's doing so, Freezo attempts to shoot Strahd with the spellstone crossbow and misses, and Strahd slashes at Freezo in a blind fury at the betrayal, stumbling as he does so.

Philge attempts to leap on top of Strahd, but he rolls out of the way, and Jacob collapses from the effect of the poison. Bobby uses *Mind Spike* to psychically attack Strahd, but Strahd is still powerful enough to overcome the spell, although Bobby defeats his attempt to reverse it onto him, and rushes over to try and pick the crossbow quarrel back up. Baston darts in and repeatedly strikes at Strahd, and Philge commands Flappy to pull the helmet off Strahd's head. Bobby panics and points out that doing this will free Strahd from the helmet's mental drain, but Strahd grabs the approaching Flappy out of the air and beats him into unconsciousness against the side of the throne. Lionshield makes another attempt to grab Strahd and steal the arrowhead that was mounted in the ring, and he does so, but is horribly slashed by Strahd's claws in the process; he collapses unconscious, and Strahd attempts to finish him off and seriously wounds him but does not kill him. Bobby uses *Healing Word* to stabilize Lionshield.

Philge attempts to strike the Lodestone with her mace, causing Strahd to scream in pain from the resulting psychic static. Jacob shoots an arrow into the crack in the Lodestone, causing Strahd to shriek again, and Baston - possibly overestimating himself - attempts to *punch* the Lodestone with no effect. Reeling, Strahd summons a scrying field on the wall behind them, revealing the battle taking place at Red Run, with the colossal revenant walkers causing chaos through the resistance army, throwing Janos Meer across the battlefield and smashing Greatheart Banknote off his horse with a gigantic hammer. Enraged even further, Philge grabs Strahd and slams *him* into the cracked Obelisk, causing a colossal psychic shock which hits everyone in the room, knocking Lionshield unconscious again, and making the obelisk pulse and hum violently. Strahd begins to panic.

"*You're gonna want to let me fix that. You're gonna want to let me fix that guys. I understand the whole mortal enemy thing but in the interests of everybody you're going to wanna let me go. Because you don't want that thing to break! I'm not shitting you guys, I **don't think they're meant to break!**"*

Philge ignores him and slams Strahd a second time into to the Lodestone. An ancient, sepulchral voice speaks the words, "Failsafe activated. Scanning. Netherese Empire in peril. Resetting core parameters." The room begins to spin violently and Strahd begins to laugh manically as he disintegrates, and the Friends realize that the world outside is travelling back in time to the founding of the Netherese Empire.

## Cast

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Bobby Pancakes
* Baston
* Lionshield Banknote
* Freezo

### NPCs

* Greatheart Banknote
* Bobson Dugnutt
* Lothario Windswept III

### Places

* The Wolfen Lodge
* The Spire of Netheril

## Trivia

* This episode begins with the extended version of the Season 6 Theme. Dave also mispronounces "motley" deliberately in the same way he did at the start of the previous episode.
* Michael Hing ends up in the unusual position of having to play Lionshield Banknote and Freezo at the same time when they are on different sides.

## Quotes

* "How's the king-baby?" "Oh, he's great...well...he lost the job." "What?" "He was corrupt." "Oh no." "The baby king was *corrupt!?*" "He was taking, what sort of payment?" "He was taking treats. It's called the Goo-Goo-Gaa-Gaa scandal." "Goo-Goo-Gaa-Gaa-Gate?"
* "He's indicating in the map where you can see the vast encampment that contains not just the armies of Strahd but the feeble remnants of this finale's plot."