I'll Wait Forever

**Content Warning: Death, Experimentation**

*Crow ran away. Just like that. He’s gone. He promised me that he would come back for me, that he loved me. I can hold on to that. Hold on to the memories of him. I don’t want to just have memories, though. At least for now, I can still hear his voice if I try hard enough. I know that won’t last, unfortunately. I just have to trust that he’ll come save me before that happens.*

*I don’t think he’s coming back. Or if he does, it won’t be for me. I hate that thought, that Crow would just leave me here. He promised me he would come back to save me, but it’s been so long since he left. I think I’m being punished for it, nobody’s brought me food in a few days, but they haven’t forgotten about me. I’m watched almost every day, and I hate it. It means they’re waiting for something, that I’m being tested on. But nothing feels different. I don’t think anyone put a spell on me, but maybe they think Crow did. He could have, but I know he didn’t.*

*I think they’re starving me. I’m so hungry, it hurts. Is this what they had planned for me all along, or is this because they lost Crow? I don’t think either one is better. At least the first option means that Crow was the reason they couldn’t, and they were scared of him. And that he was protecting me from them. I’m going to hang on to that thought, it might be the only thing to keep me hopeful. There’s not much hope here, and I know I wouldn’t have survived this long without Crow, and I think it’s the same for him. Or was the same.*

*I hate being confined. At least before, I got to leave my cell. There’s not enough room. Never enough room. My mind and my thoughts keep circling back to Crow, and I need to know if he’s okay or not. I miss him so much, I can’t believe he left without me. After everything he did for me, he just took the first chance he got and didn’t even try to bring me with him. He said he loved me, but now I doubt it. Unless he didn’t run away, and they… they killed him. No, no, they wouldn’t do that. He was too important to them. The rest of us are disposable, but not Crow.*

*I have to stop thinking about him. He’s not here, and I can’t bring him back. The only thing I can do now is survive. The scientists are trying to kill me, and I won’t let them. I have to keep going, just in case he does come back. Soon. I hope. I’m pacing again, to distract myself. I don’t know how much longer I last without food. Maybe a day or two before I starve. Less time if… no. I won’t give them what they want.*

*I can barely stand today. This is it, I suppose. The end of my life. He never came back for me. I never actually thought I would escape the labs, but I could dream. Although, picturing a world outside these dim hallways is difficult sometimes. I’ve never seen the outside world and I don’t think I ever will. I won’t even see the other dragons trapped here again. Or any of the scientists, which is honestly a good thing.*

*I’m confused. Not just that I’m still alive, but I feel better than I ever have before. I’m not hungry, nothing hurts anymore. Is this normal? I knew we were mistreated by the scientists, but I never thought it would be that bad. They brought Necromancer this time. I can’t really hear what they’re talking about, but I don’t think it’s good. He scares me. I don’t want to think about why he’s here, but I know I’m not dead. I’ve never believed in ghosts. You don’t stick around after you die, that’s just silly.*

*I heard them mention Crow. I already knew that they knew about our relationship, but I didn’t think they’d use me to hurt him. Maybe that’s why I feel fine now, they’re trying to lure him back. No, that’s stupid. They don’t care about any of us, they care about their own power.*

*It’s been about two days since… whatever it was that happened. I still don’t feel hungry, even though I still haven’t eaten anything. It’s strange, and even stranger is that they left the door to my cell open when they left. I can leave, for the first time in… months? I feel like it’s been months since Crow left. Time is hard here, where there’s no sunlight. It doesn’t matter, really. He never came back.*

*I have to be careful, if anyone catches me out here, I don’t know what kind of horrible things will happen. Now that I’m closer to other dragons, I can hear voices again. I listen closely, but none of them are Crow. I shouldn’t get my hopes up like that.*

*Time feels meaningless now, more than it ever has. I don’t know if months or years pass, but I see him. He’s back. Somehow, he’s right there. But he doesn’t notice me. Does he not recognize me? Did he forget me? Or is he just ignoring me? Whatever it is, it hurts. He’s changed, but that doesn’t mean either of us forgot what he said.*

*His sister is the reason he came back. Iridescent. Not me. They’re about to leave when he pauses, staring right at me. Iridescent seems anxious, scared. I would be too, but I haven’t been noticed by anyone.*

*‘She’s gone, Crow. Let’s just leave.’ Iridescent says. I don’t understand her. Who is he looking for? If it’s me, I’m right in front of them. Crow sighs, and they leave.*

*I’m alone again, and he was right there. I’m crying now.*

*The next time I saw Crow, I didn't care anymore. He never came back for me, he came back to save others. Never me. Over and over again, returning to the labs to rescue dragonets. It was sweet of him, but once I realized I was never going to be one the ones he saved, I gave up on waiting. Obviously he didn't want me anymore, he just didn't want to say it. So when I saw him, I avoided him. It was easier that way.*

*And then the eruption. I didn't even know he had been captured until I heard him running down the hall, calling for someone.*

*Sheer. He'd found someone else. That’s the worst part. Not only is Crow dating someone else, he’s risking his life to save her. He hadn’t done that for me. I hope he’s happy.*