Ghost Encounters

After the discovery of the lost episode of Gilligan’s Island (“Gilligone Island”), I thought about finding an episode of another favorite show of mine, The Three Stooges. Apparently, according to a source I found, the episode was called ‘Ghost Encounters.’ It was supposed to be aired in movie theaters and on television too (as episodes were being posted on television too, and on DVD, of course). This episode was cut for being disturbing, but before you roll your eyes and think, I’m going to say that this episode was going to be about characters dying in brutal ways and crap. But I will say that wasn’t the case at all, surprisingly.

What I meant by disturbing was the fact that the episode had a really disturbing ghost. Think about that for a second. The thing is, the actors Moe, Larry, and Curly (this was made when Curly didn’t have a stroke and got replaced by Shemp) were inside a real haunted house. It wasn’t like the ghost was a costumed man saying “Boo!” or whatever the crap ghosts say; every minute, it was a real ghost filmed on camera, and that was the disturbing part. Though the actors tried to be funny and goofy like they were in every episode, of course, I don’t really believe that this episode exists, but I could try to find it.

Recently, I drove down to an empty field. That’s when I found something sticking out of the ground. Out of curiosity, I dug it out, and it turns out it wasn’t the episode, just trash from someone who didn’t want to clean it up. I wanted to keep searching until I found that episode. It should be noted that an episode like this isn’t too unusual because there are a bunch of Three Stooges episodes that have ghosts and haunted houses in them. I continued looking for the darn thing.

I checked the river, but I realized how stupid it was to check the river because the DVD or whatever I might find it as will be damaged due to the water, but that’s when I found a wet map on the ground. It was covered in grease stains, and of course, it was wet, but I didn’t want to tear it up. It led me to a forest, and at my coordinates (which I googled), seen on the map, there is a red X on the ground. Luckily, I had a shovel and started digging into the ground. I finally found it; the sources were true; I got out of the forest and brought it home.

It turns out it wasn’t a DVD, but a VHS tape. Yeah, I know, nobody uses VHS players or tapes anymore, but the thing is, I do, and I don’t really care about what people say about it; I’m a nostalgic man. However, that’s what I noticed when I examined it closely: it was indeed a tape with “GHOST ENCOUNTERS” written on it and the three stooges logo printed on top of the text.

I put the tape in the player, and it played with the classic Three Stooges intro, showing the heads of the cast, and it had the Columbia statue and everything. Clearly, nothing was odd; it was clearly meant to be an episode with “In Ghost Encounters” on the right, and it was in color too, which is nice. Anyway, the episode started.

It started with Moe, Larry, and Curly entering a mansion; it was raining, and Moe was shouting. This is where dialogue begins. Keep in mind that I barely heard a lot of lines because the sound kept fading in and out at times, and it was rather crappy.

“Moe, where’s the umbrella?” asked Larry. Curly then came in with the umbrella. Curly was humming a little tune in a comedic way, and Moe was pretty annoyed by this, and he punched Curly square in the stomach, playing the comedic sound effect.

“Oof!” shouted Curly, holding his stomach in pain.

“Shhh! Keep it down! Someone may be living here," said Moe, scolding Curly.

During that, an unsettling and deep whimpering sounded like a low moan was echoing. Moe, Curly, and Larry were feeling unnerved and tried to leave, but the door closed by itself. No, this wasn’t part of the acting or practical effects; like I said, the building was actually haunted; even the looks on Moe, Larry, and Curly’s faces were genuine; not even the door had a string or anything.

“Uh… Hey guys, let’s split up! Moe, you check that way! Larry, you check this way, and I can take a nice rest.” Curly was going to do his “Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk!” laugh, but he was too scared to do so; instead, he did a nervous and half-normal laugh.

Curly went into a bedroom, and in bed, there were skeletons sleeping in the bed; at least that was what it looked like. Curly was understandably horrified by this, and when he turned away, one of the skeletons woke up, and the camera zoomed in on the skeleton, opened its mouth, grabbed Curly by the neck, and threw him across the room. He didn’t die, but he was certainly injured. When he got up, blood started gushing out of his nose, and it was disjointed; some of it went on his clothes, and he passed out and sat on the chair behind him.

Larry was in the bathroom, and when he looked at the mirror, he swore that he saw something but paid no attention to it. But apparently, he wanted to go take a dump. He sat on the toilet and smoked a cigar, and he finally got done doing his business (it should be noted that he didn’t actually pull his pants or underwear down; he had his pants on). Larry looked in the mirror, and he saw a frightening sight. It was a ghostly figure with a deformed face; it almost looked like the ghost was screaming. Though the ghost ended up vomiting on Larry’s face, he screamed and ran out of the room. He bumped into Moe (who was in the living room), and he was telling Moe about what he saw.

“Moe, Moe, Moe! You won’t believe what I saw!” said Larry, grabbing a towel and wiping his face down.

“I know. I heard it, you numskull," said Moe, kicking him in the nuts. “Oh, oh, ohhh!” Larry shouted while covering his crotch in pain; the pain slowly went away after a minute, though Larry wondered where Curly went.

“Say, where’s Curly?” said Moe, rather in fear, Moe then thought about the bedroom, and Moe and Larry immediately ran in there, and they saw Curly passed out on the chair; they paid no attention to the skeleton.

“Curly! Speak to me! Say a few syllables! Utter a few adjectives!” Said Moe, slapping him across the face, kind of gently, and stomping him in the foot.

Curly woke up, and Moe and Larry hugged him tightly. Not long after, as Moe pushed them away, he finally noticed the skeleton. Moe shot the skeleton on repeat until the other skeleton woke up and looked at Moe, Larry, and Curly. The skeleton stepped out of bed, grabbed Moe by the neck, and threw him on to the bed. Moe ended up hitting the painting that fell on his head, and he groaned in pain. He still had the gun on him.

Moe ended up shooting the other skeleton’s head off, and he was in extreme rage, but he felt protective; he didn’t want Larry and Curly to get hurt, though, according to sources, this is where Moe started yelling at Curly and Larry about behind-the-scenes related things.

“Well, there’s that. Larry and Curly, this all could’ve been prevented if you two weren’t such idiots and wanted to film at this place! We were almost dead, and you two are lucky that I saved us; I could’ve allowed you two to die.” Moe yelled; he yelled more loudly than usual, and it wasn’t like he normally yelled, and the thing he said was rather cruel, like why would he want to leave his friends and allow them to be killed? He had cared for them since the first episodes, and behind the scenes, though, judging by this being a behind-the-scenes moment, it was unnerving. Moe then said another line: “I would’ve also shot you, judging by how frustrated I am, but no family would want to see that.”

The episode then ended with Moe, Larry, and Curly breaking the front door open and stepping out, Moe lightened a couple matches and set the mansion on fire, Curly and Larry were standing behind him, feeling concerned, while Moe stood there in relief as the building was turning to ashes.

Moe, Larry, and Curly left the property, never to return, and it was a sunny day.

The tape then came out of the player, and I just sat there processing what happened. I mean, I was happy it wasn’t about Moe, Larry, and Curly dying, though, well, I mean, they did pass away in real life. Man, they were my childhood. I hope they are resting well, and I hope this post did nothing to ruin their reputation. This probably wasn’t even the actors themselves, and it might’ve just been people pretending to be like them but managing to do their voices perfectly.

I thought about dismantling the tape, but I kept it, and I will never put it up on Youtube or anywhere, I don’t want to start anything.

Written by JosephTheSnail