Episode 3 – Roll For Doorknobs

> *If only it was that simple! Having dealt with the crowd, the other players’ patience runs out when Dweezil Zappa walks through the door without waiting. Each of them hatch their own plan to get inside Crim’s office.*
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## Quick Recap

### Players

Christian(DM), Brittney(Ragna), John(Shira), Raphael(Dweezil), Roxanne(Lolani), Vinny(Crispin)

### Current Quest

None

"Episode 3 - Roll for Doorknobs" is the third episode of the Pretend Wizards Podcast.

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This article contains spoilers.

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## Episode Summary

Ragna is outraged that Dweezil has gotten one up on him and entered Crim's estate before him.

Shira uses her thief's kit to unlatch a window and heads inside. Ragna is further infuriated when he witnesses this and realizes he is lagging behind. Raging, Ragna attempts to break the door and opens a hole in the side of the door with his fist. As Ragna attempts again, he trips over one of Shira's ball bearings and ends up punching five or six people in the crowd causing an uproar as the crowd devolves into a fistfight in the confusion. Frustrated beyond words, the Half-Orc shatters the door into splinters as he charges in, not immediately realizing how badly he has screwed up his intent not to damage his hero's abode.

Lolani drops down unto the balcony and walks in.

The result of Ragna's actions have caused a shimmering force field to block entry into the house which becomes an obstacle for Crispin. Crispin again wrestles with the decision to burn the house down. Instead Crispin summons a mage hand and sends it through the hole Ragna made beside the doorway. Opening a different window, Crispin makes it in.

The disparate adventurers find themselves in the rather unkempt home of Crim and wander about. Crim's home contains an ornate relief door that visually retells his legend. Along the walls there are gold ornaments, trophies, monster heads, ornate swords and a dragon skin rug on the ground. Dweezil haughtily leads the way up the stairs into Crim's office joining up with Lolani who had already arrived through the balcony. Dweezil assumes Lolani is Crim's servant and treats her as such.

They approach a closed door and Dweezil incessantly raps on it as he warily notes that his servants have not arrived to make the effort for him. Having a better look at Dweezil, Shira recognizes Dweezil by his terrible rich boy reputation. Eager to one up the spoiled noble, Shira searches and finds a hidden door blocked by junk and heavy beams. Shira clears the area in front of water damaged door and steps into a darkened room. She finds a small cramped barracks with rotting crates and mattresses. She finds a glass flask hidden in a container shaped like a book. Unable to identify it, she decides to take it with her.

As Shira joins the others, Dweezil recognizes her and condescendingly remarks about her lost wealth. Shira makes snide remarks in return. A crashing sound interrupts their haughty bickering.

Ragna comes fumbling in. Excited to be in Crim's home, he spots the relief and eagerly examines it. The relief depicts Crim's adventures in the land of Kord, the mysterious land to the north. Ragna knows the story by heart. He recalls how the relief was carved by the Wood Mages of Kord in exchange for the rescue of their virgin brides. Eager to meet Crim himself, Ragna hurries along but his expression turns sour upon meeting the other adventurers. Even so, Ragna has a difficult time containing his joy at seeing the relics of Crim's adventures strewn about the room.

Crispin traipses in attempting to seem casual. As an artist, he pauses and admires the craftsmanship of Crim's relief. He's unable to determine the techniques used in its construction and recognizes that anything anyone knows about Kord is only known from Crim's legend.

Meanwhile, Shira attempts to pick the lock on Crim's door. Dweezil irritatingly interrupts Shira during these attempts, preventing Shira from succeeding. It culminates in Shira's lockpick breaking and getting stuck in the lock.

Crispin schmoozes with Ragna and Dweezil. Dweezil gains a quick respect for Crispin (who addresses Dweezil in Dwarven) and declares Crispin to be the only person with class in the room.

Suddenly the door behind them opens violently and a confident and gallant figure strides in. Mortimer Crim has finally arrived.

## Quotes

"That Mage Hand gets in all your pores." -Christian

"You totally get off all over that door with your mage hand." -Christian to Vinnie

"Is this how your family got it's wealth?" -Dweezil to Shira as she tries to lockpick Crim's door.

## Trivia

* This Episode aired on the 19th April, 2014
* Ragna was originally 6'5" but upon finding out that Shira was 6'7", Ragna's height was changed to 6'8", or at least 1" taller than Shira if he changed his mind again.