Episode 03 - You Always Hurt the One You Love

"**You Always Hurt the One You Love**" is the third episode of Season 1 of the BBC Scotland television drama, *Takin' Over The Asylum*. It aired on the 11th of October, 1994. Its title is derived from the song of the same name, performed by Connie Francis.

## Synopsis

*"Eddie and the gang pull out all the stops to save the radio station by staging a coup at the open day."*

## Plot

***Trigger Warning: This episode includes a scene where a character attempts to intentionally harm themselves with a cigarette. The character is stopped before this occurs.***

Campbell, Fergus, and Rosalie are performing a radio show in Argyle Street in an attempt to gain signatures for their petition, so that their radio station can go professional. They take song requests from the crowd, who happily participate. A policeman tells the trio to clear off, since they don’t have a permit. Campbell refuses, and they are forced to run away when more police arrive.

Back at the hospital, the trio tell Eddie about their stunt, and how they're certain it will be in the newspapers. Eddie asks which papers they invited, and Campbell says he didn’t invite any, because that would have cheapened the stunt. Eddie is rightfully mad at the three of them, since Campbell was late for his show, Fergus didn't check up on a damaged channel, and Rosalie neglected her duties as station manager. They continue the show, and as Rosalie shouts for silence, she sees her husband, Jim.

Rosalie and Jim move to a separate room to speak. Rosalie expresses her desire to go home, and starts listing all of the things she wants to clean when she does. Jim is irritated at this, sick of her obsession with cleanliness. He gives her a bundle of clothes his mother picked out, telling her that he expects her to wear them, since she's been wearing her current ones for the past twelve years. Jim says that he won’t let her come home until she's ceased this obsession. All Rosalie can respond with is asking when she will get her pocket money. Jim refuses to give it to her, knowing she'll most likely spend it on disinfectant. Rosalie asks what she can do to please him, and Jim says that he wants her to go back to the way she was "before".

At Twinview Windows, a party is being held. Griffin addresses the crowd of employees, speaking of one employee in particular who has been an astounding success. He asks the crowd what they think is unique about this man, but those that do are incorrect. A stylish employee, MacAteer, answers correctly — a positive mental attitude. Griffin announces that the employee he speaks of, the newest Salesmen of the Month, is Eddie. Griffin speaks separately to Eddie and MacAteer, informing them of a possible job opportunity with the district council. MacAteer says that he'll get onto it, but Griffin suggests that Eddie takes the job instead. MacAteer glares at Eddie, and storms off.

At the hospital, Evelyn enters her office, apologising to Eddie who's waiting inside regarding an update on equipment for the station. He asks what the verdict was at the hospital board meeting, and she informs him that they declined, since the station is a luxury rather than a necessity. However, she inquires if he would like to do something with the station for the hospital's Open Day. Eddie says he'll ask the others, and when he confirms that the *others* are still patients, Evelyn isn't pleased.

Eddie relays his meeting with Evelyn to Campbell, Fergus, Rosalie and Francine. Campbell, determined to keep his dream alive, insists they run a fundraiser at the Open Day to pay for a new mixing desk. He suggests a publicity stunt to gain attention, such as threatening to jump off the roof of the hospital. Eddie dismisses this idea, saying the staff would never let something like that happen on Mental Health Week. Campbell remains committed, and grabs Fergus and Rosalie to go talk to the other patients. As they leave, Francine steps forward and asks Eddie to train her as a DJ.

Rosalie enters an office, and meets with Dr. Cairns, who offers to shake her hand. Rosalie doesn't shake it, and Dr. Cairns apologises, forgetting about her credence regarding germs. Dr. Cairns informs her that there's no reason for her to stay in the hospital much longer, but that Jim isn't ready to let her come home without assurance that Rosalie will take her medication. He proposes a long-term plan with injections, though Rosalie evades him. Sensing this path may be a dead end, Dr. Cairns puts forward the notion that she stay with someone else, flicking through her file and suggesting her son, Robbie. Rosalie emphasises that she *had* a son, and upon further inspection of her file, Dr. Cairns doubles back. He says he'll try and schedule a meeting with Jim for another time.

In the dayroom, Campbell tries to rally the patients to volunteer their help on Open Day. He explains their plans to host a request show in the courtyard, and an event he refers to as the "Loony Pools." In a long-winded explanation, Campbell describes a game where the public will have to guess whether two people on stage are "loonies," or are "boring folk." Eddie paraphrases to the confused patients that the game is essentially a "Spot the Loony." Some are eager to volunteer, to which Campbell is elated. Alastair questions the finer details of his plan, revealing that all Campbell really has on hand is tins for them to rattle. The patients lose faith and leave. Rosalie watches on as she makes a list.

Back at the studio, Francine enters for her DJ lesson. Noting Eddie's bottle of whiskey, she tells him about her mother's inconsistent attitude toward being an alcoholic. She then attempts to put out her cigarette on her arm, but Eddie stops her, providing her with an ashtray instead. She asks what Eddie might do if the station has to shut down, and he replies he'll spend time with his family (which he "havenae got") or throw himself into his work. He tells her about his salesman job, and Francine is surprised when he says he was Salesman of the Month. He shows her his records, and how he truly believed he was going to make it professionally as a DJ, but it never worked out. Francine then brings up that they will have to do something about the cat, McTavish, since his plumpness has practically made him the size of a football. Eddie cuts in to tell her that McTavish is a pregnant female, but Francine snaps at him, panicking as she refuses to stay if he keeps insisting on that fact. Eddie stops and they continue their lesson.

At night, Rosalie enters the men's dormitory and turns on the lamp nearest Campbell's bed. She wakes him up, showing him the lists she has been making. Campbell fails to see how they're helpful, but Rosalie informs him that the lists regard places to find flatbed lorries, speaker systems, and other instructions for helping him with his Open Day plans. Campbell praises her and goes to shake her hand, but remembers her boundaries, and retracts it. Rosalie asks for a favour, and she hands him the clothes Jim gave her that she's been trying to hide from herself. She requests that he put them in his locker so she doesn't have to wear them, and can pretend she lost them. She tells him about her situation, and Campbell encourages her to stand up for herself. He suggests she burn the clothes instead — but Rosalie says she can't, and refers to Campbell as Robbie. Campbell is confused by this, but Rosalie's mind is preoccupied as she leaves.

Eddie looks distastefully at his burnt breakfast, taking a swig as he leaves for work. His grandmother insists he eat, but Eddie dismisses her. She expresses her resentment to his absence the previous night, as he didn't come to Lithuanian Club with her. Eddie uses work as an excuse, but she continues annoyance, saying that she's sick of listening to one of the members, Mrs. Prackhauskas, talk about her great life and many grandchildren. She asks if he has met Mrs. Prackhauskas' grandchildren, eluding that they are girls Eddie could possibly marry. Eddie takes a dig at himself, saying that unless they're somewhat blind and stupid, they won't marry him. He pushes to leave, but she asks when he'll be back, and Eddie lets slip he will be teaching Francine late that night. His grandmother's interest piqued and she interrogates him about Francine. He shuts her down when he tells her she's a patient. He asks if she is interested in coming to Open Day, but she is vexed, and slams the door in his face.

Back at the hospital, the patients gather together to chip in for the Open Day preparations. Rosalie assigns everyone duties, such as making banners, drawing up volunteer sheets — even having Campbell call the several companies that Rosalie told him.

Eddie is pulled here and there at the district council meeting, frantically trying to get the deal across. Instances such as holding the door open for a lot of elderly people and helping to hang up a birthday sign leads him to be rather late. He runs to the hospital, and Rosalie instantly puts him to work. She instructs him to go pick up the speakers with very explicit directions. Isabel interrupts her to tell Rosalie meeting with Dr. Cairns and Jim is scheduled for now. She agrees to go, but says she can't stop for long. Eddie is amused by this, and Campbell confirms that Rosalie organised everything for Open Day. He tells Eddie that Fergus spoke to the press about their stunt. Eddie says that he should't get his hopes up, since there isn't anything *that* newsworthy about their event. Campbell still has faith, and Eddie says he'll be satisfied if they have enough money to buy a secondhand mixer.

In the meeting, Jim and Dr. Cairns debate whether or not Rosalie is ready to be discharged. Dr. Cairns relays the proposition he made about the long-term injection, and when Jim seeks Rosalie's opinion, she asks when she can get her pocket money to buy more Dettol. Jim is fed up with her and Dr. Cairns' lack of pleasing solutions, and tells him how Rosalie was fine until she was given a lower dosage of her prescription. Dr. Cairns says that if Jim refuses to let Rosalie come home, she will move to supported accommodation, where the occupants are subpar when it comes to hygiene. Rosalie agrees to take the injection. She shows Jim that she took a big step and wore the clothes he gave her. Jim very minimally gives her positive reinforcement and exits. Rosalie asks Dr. Cairns if she can take the injection after the Open Day, and he assents.

Campbell announces to Fergus his big plan for the finale of their event. At the end of the Loony Pools, Spike Milligan, a famous celebrity with bipolar disorder, will appear as one of the contestants. He believes the reporters will go crazy about it, but Eddie questions how he'll even get Milligan to appear. They are interrupted by Rosalie, who asks how their progress has been. They show her the speakers, but she demands they move them out of the station, since she hasn't cleaned them yet. As they do, Eddie accidentally knocks over Rosalie's last bottle of Dettol, spending her into a panic. Campbell assures her that Eddie and Fergus will buy her a new one, to which they sprint away to find. As Rosalie freaks out, she tells Campbell about how her son Robbie got sick, and Jim was sure it was because she hadn't cleaned the lettuce they had eaten. Rosalie cleaned it, but Robbie remained sick. Jim then said that it was perhaps the surfaces, such as the floors or sinks, that were were dirty. So Rosalie continuously cleaned, trying to get rid of any chance of germs in her house. It didn't work, and Robbie died from his illness. Campbell asks her what Robbie died of, and she tells him the cause was leukaemia.

At work, MacAteer informs Eddie that the district council accepted Eddie's offer. He expresses his jealously, and overall opinion of Eddie's incompetence. He warns Eddie that sooner or later, Griffin will realise that Eddie is despensable to the company and will fire him.

Open Day arrives, and a large amount of the public attend. Children get their faces painted, play carnival games with the patients, and even enter an inflatable boxing ring with one of them. The staff walk through the crowds with tins, collecting donations for the radio station. Campbell runs the show in the courtyard whilst Eddie and Rosalie sort through song requests. One of the patient contestants for the Loony Pools was discharged that morning, so Fergus is forced to stand on stage and fill in. Francine hurries to tell Rosalie that the caretaker of the hospital says he is planning to shut off their power supply at 4pm so he can lock up. Rosalie orders Eddie to go and find some power supplies so they don't get cut off, but he protests, since he is supposed to take over the radio show soon. She tells him to go, and Rosalie directs Francine to take the show in his stead. Francine doesn't believe she's ready, but Rosalie has confidence in her.

Rosalie becomes progressively more stretched out, dealing with issues such as eaten prizes and vinyls out of order. During this, Evelyn tries to get her attention and introduce her to someone, but Rosalie demands she wait her turn. Fergus motivates Francine to go on stage and take over for Campbell, and Eddie runs in with a power source to save the show. Evelyn eventually gets Rosalie's attention, and introduces her to the woman, Lady Sarah Chalmers, who is a patron of the hospital. She commends Rosalie for her expert planning and asks how she managed it all. Rosalie says she simply made lists.

Eddie finds his grandmother in the crowd, happy that she decided to come. His grandmother compliments Francine, who is announcing the final stage of the Loony Pools. She suggests Eddie ask her out on a date, and after Eddie says that Francine was the patient he mentioned earlier, she says that Francine doesn't look crazy. On stage, Campbell stands beside a man with glasses on. Reporters take photos, and it is revealed that the man in question is Spike Milligan. He jokes to the crowd and they applaud him, and the Open Day ends a big success.

Jim enters to find Rosalie cleaning the station. He notices her new bottle of Dettol, and she says Fergus bought it for her. She mentions how fun Open Day was, but Jim doesn’t seem to care, and questions where the dress he brought her is. She says that Mad John the pyromaniac burnt it. When he brings up her injection, Rosalie informs him that she told the doctors she didn't want it. He says she's not coming home if she doesn’t take it, and she responds with what Campbell told her: "I'm not gonna take any more of this Crapola," in an American accent. Rosalie reflects on how Robbie used to like American films, and that she still misses him.

Later that day, Eddie announces that they Open Day was a success, and they raised just under 650 pounds, plus an anonymous donation of 500, which Lady Sarah Chalmers gave to Evelyn earlier. They say over the speakers that now the station can remain in business, and patients all throughout the hospital cheer.

Fergus comes into the room, notifying the main group that their stunt made it into three famous papers in Scotland. Eddie calls Campbell a genius, but Campbell says that it was all Rosalie's work. He goes to hug her, but after Rosalie steps away, Campbell realises does also, apologising sheepishly. Rosalie thinks for a moment, then takes her rubber gloves off. She holds her hand out toward Campbell, which he shakes cautiously. The group is delighted, and they all dance together as Eddie plays "I Want to Hold Your Hand," over the radio.

## Cast

### Major

* Ken Stott as Eddie McKenna
* Katy Murphy as Francine Boyle
* David Tennant as Campbell Bain
* Angus Macfadyen as Fergus MacKinnon
* Ruth McCabe as Rosalie Garrity

### Recurring

* Elizabeth Spriggs as Eddie’s Grandma
* Jon Morrison as Jim Garrity
* Sandra Voe as Evelyn MacDonald
* Angela Bruce as Isabel
* Kenneth Bryans as Stuart
* Matt Costello as Alastair
* Derek Anders as Billy
* Gavin Mitchell as Hector
* Molly Innes as Margaret
* Nell Brennan as Sheila
* Roy Hanlon as Mr. Griffin
* Neil McKinven as MacAteer
* Ronnie McCann as Lavery
* Paul Blair as Webster
* Caroline Paterson as Jane

### Minor

* David Robb as Dr. Cairns
* Vivienne Dixon as Lady Sarah Chalmers
* Bill Barclay as Caretaker
* Robert Ellison and Colin McCredie as Photographers
* Ian Cairns as Police Constable
* Spike Milligan as Himself

## Quotes

> Well, all right, Debbie, it's that wee baldy guy in the blue anorak.
>
> - Campbell

> Do we need a permit to boogie?
>
> - Campbell

> We are gonna be in the papers!
> We're gonna be in jail, Campbell.
>
> - Campbell and Fergus

> So, if you're out there and Campbell Bain is sitting next to you, smoking a fag and having a wee blether with your invisible voices, tell him to—
>
> - Eddie

> Campbell, they are not going to let you threaten to jump off the hospital roof for their Mental Health Week Open Day!
> It was only my first idea!
>
> - Eddie and Campbell

> Hospital radio has brought us music, laughter, got us dancing in the corridors! Before that, the most excitement we got here was listening to you fart "God Save the Queen", or waiting for Myra the Catatonic to blink!
>
> - Campbell

> That's the spirit! Because we are going to show them — We are loonies and we are proud!
>
> - Campbell

> I thought everybody liked my "God Save the Queen".
>
> - Hector

> Ye can’t be a double-glazing salesman, Eddie. You've no got a killer mentality.
> I'll have you know I was Salesman of the Month last month.
> Jesus, what were the other salesmen like?
>
> - Francine and Eddie

> Ye just say: “I’m not gonna take any more o' dis Crapola."
>
> - Campbell

> Well, don't stand there like a dead sheep, go to your car.
>
> - Rosalie

> Power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts every loony.
>
> - Campbell

> It's just that there's nothing all that newsworthy about a bunch of loonies staging a stunt at an Open Day.
> But it's Mental Health Week.
> Well, I gave up smoking on National No Smoking Day, but they didn’t put my name in the paper.
>
> - Eddie and Campbell

> That's your trouble, Eddie. You aim low every time.
> Aye, but I reach my goals.
>
> - Campbell and Eddie

> See that? I mean, we're trying to have a rational conversation here, and she's just landed a spaceship on Planet Dettol!
>
> - Jim

> There's only two things wrong with that, Campbell. First, how are you going to get Spike Milligan to appear in your Loony Pools for tomorrow afternoon?
> Well, a pal of mine's girlfriend's sister went to university with his grandson—
>
> - Eddie and Campbell

> So if you've just arrived, get on your straitjacket, plug yourself into the nearest electrical socket, and get on down!
>
> - Campbell