Life of Crime

"**Life of Crime**" is a *Maggie Muffin* episode from season 2. In this episode, Maggie and Helen leave Dice Bottom after thinking they stole a balloon.

## Characters

* TV officers
* Maggie Muffin
* Helen Luggins (mentioned only)
* Kira Moonhead
* Florence Owl
* Mr. Banks (mentioned only)
* Johnny Uzumaki (mentioned only)
* Strawberry the Octopus (mentioned only)
* Sanjay Owl (mentioned only)

## Synopsis

The episode starts at the Lightbulb Office, where Maggie, Kira, and Mrs. Owl are watching a classic black-and-white crime movie. Mrs. Owl speaks out against thieves like the one depicted in the movie, but Maggie and Kira remind him of all the stuff he has that is not his: a barrel from Salty Sea Farms, a towel from the Sizzling Spring Sauna, a Dice Bell phone, Sandy's hedge clippers, Plankton's lawnmower, and Mrs. Puff's hair curlers. Mrs. Owl claims that he "borrowed" all those things, telling them that it is okay to borrow something as long as they give it back before it is missed.

Later that day, Maggie and Kira spot a balloon stand. Since they do not have any money, they decide to follow Mrs. Owl' advice and "borrow" a balloon. They sneak away with it, and as they talk about all the fun things they plan to do with it, it suddenly pops. Realizing that they can no longer return the balloon, they concede to each other that they have stolen it. When they panic and bump into the owner of the balloon stand, they run away before he reveals that it is National Free Balloon Day. They decide to leave Bikini Bottom under the belief that they are wanted criminals, not realizing that they never committed any crime.

That night, they camp in the middle of nowhere and lament that they will never see any of their friends or do any of the fun things they used to do again, causing Kira and Maggie to be sad and miss their old lives. However, they then begin to look at the positives, such as not having to live by society's standards and not having to return anything they borrow, and so convince themselves that their lives as fugitives can be enjoyable. Kira sadly remarks that they still have nothing to eat, until Maggie unveils two chocolate bars, which he hopes they can survive on for the rest of their lives. However, Kira eats his entire bar in two quick bites, immediately forgets he ate it, and upon trying to take a third bite of it, discovers that it is gone.

Upon seeing Maggie's unopened candy bar, Kira accuses him of stealing it. Although Maggie tries to remind Kira that he already ate his and never ate his own, he refuses to believe him. Maggie offers half of his chocolate to him, but Kira says he does not want it unless Maggie admits that he took it. Frustrated at Kira's behavior, Maggie eats the whole thing himself. In his own frustration, Kira decides to report Maggie to the police. Maggie aims to tell on Kira first and they race to the police station.

Once there, they both confess their original "crime" together, and two officers at the station realize that Maggie and Kira are under a serious misunderstanding, and place them in a jail cell. However, the two "criminals" are immediately released, being informed that they "stole" the balloon on National Free Balloon Day, much to the officers' amusement. Maggie and Kira, though shocked to learn of their innocence, vow that they will never borrow anything without permission again and the officers give them lollipops for the trip back home. Once again, Kira eats her immediately and accuses Maggie and the officers of stealing it. They all laugh together until Kira says he means it, as the episode ends with a shot of Bikini Atoll being seen.