Concerning the races and ways of the peoples of The Ungermoth Empire

"Concerning the races and ways of the peoples of The Ungermoth Empire" is a published anthropological thesis by Dwarven scribe Harbek Gardain Waterholes. It is notable because, despite its age, it is still often cited in Parliament on matters of inter-species relations.

The text is not without its critics, with many of Waterholes' contemporary scholars criticising what they perceived to be outdated and often offensive views. Amongst those who criticised the book was poet and historian Alberich Writeswell, who described the work as "an exceptionally dry book with an overabundance of somewhat dated views and spurious scientific reasoning". When questioned about Writeswell's views, Waterhole responded by saying "If Albie bloody Shiteswell was such a good writer then he would've inherited my father's seat as Professor of History, wouldn't he?!".

The first page of text reads as follows.

## Concerning the races and ways of the peoples of The Ungermoth Empire

"According to a recent census, the population of The Ungermoth Empire is mostly comprised of Humans and Dwarves. This is not surprising, all things considered, when one takes into account the prolific rate at which humans procreate, although the recently repealed one child policy has meant that the disparity between these populations is a lot less than it once was.

What is more surprising perhaps, is that less than ten percent of the citizenry declare themselves to be of Elven lineage, whether that be in full or half-caste. Indeed, some statisticians believe that those of partial Elvishness now outnumber those of pure bloodline, largely due to the ambiguous wording of the one child policy which meant that it was only applicable to the children of two Human parents.

A further ten percent of the populace is made up of the small-folk, Gnomes and Halflings, by a ratio of approximately two-to-one. The accuracy of these figures is the subject of some dispute as, whilst the number of those homed within the reservations are carefully monitored, the nomadic nature of certain bands of Halflings, the so called “dinosaur riders”, can make it difficult to quantify them.

The remaining population, around five percent or so, is made up the Savage races. This includes, but is not limited to, Aarakocra, Firbolg, Tabaxi, Tortles and the goblinoid races such as Goblins, Orcs or those of partial Orc-bloodedness (humans really will mate with anything). Despite common misconceptions, there are no Dragonborn citizens of The Ungermoth Empire. Indeed a Dragonborn can live their entire lives within the walls of Bezmadanbaor itself and they would still be considered a denizen of Kivanduil by virtue of lineage.

The demon-touched, or “Tiefling” as they are sometimes referred to if one is so inclined, are not in fact a separate race but a subset of Humans who can trace their lineage back to the practitioners of magic at Armiste University. Their ancestors are said to have made pacts with demons, which has manifested in physical changes in their bloodline’s appearance to this very day.

Finally, there has been a growing trend in recent years for people to address wayward Warforged as beings of their own merit. This is of course patently absurd, bordering on perverse. Warforged are not a race. They are a tool of the Empire and if you should meet one that is claiming sentience then it is clearly malfunctioning and should be reported to the local authorities for reprogramming."