I hate underswap so much my bones hurt

*A doll in a polka-dot patterned red dress is seen.*

**Dolly**: You’re recording, right? You better be! If this fails, so help me--O-Oh! Hello there! My name is Dolly, objectarian, CEO, and Founder of Nettal Brand industries, where anything is possible! Unfortunately, we’ve ran into some… technical problems.

*Dolly clears her throat, and signals the cameraman to the company emblem.*

**Dolly**: Money’s been tighter lately, people aren’t coming to Bullet as often, and we’re really not at our best right now. Fortunately, OR has come up with a hopefully really good plan!

*Dolly signals the cameraman to 21… dirtbags.*

**Dolly**: 21 competitors have signed up to compete as my workers! Together, they’ll help me restore Nettal Brand to its former glory! The winner will receive 30% of our Company’s revenue, while the losers will be sent to a special resort… no wonder our company’s in the dumps, we’ve wasted our revenue on crap like that…

*Dolly shakes her head.*

**Dolly**: Whatever. Let’s introduce our competitors. Starting with… you!

*A bag of dog food walks up.*

**Kibble**: Greetings. The name is Kibble, but I’d prefer to be called The Bark Knight.

**Dolly**: Ah, superhero fan. I went as Supragirl once for halloween.

**Kibble**: Oh, no. I’m not fictional, I’m the real deal. The world’s greatest detective. Got lots of fans.

**Dolly**: …Uh-huh… Well, that’s our first competitor! Who’s next?

*An animal-themed sweater walks up.*

**Dolly**: Animal-based objects. Adorable. What’s your deal, you also a superhero?

**Sweater**: No? I’m, like, an animal caretaker. I dunno why, but they’ve always, like, been super attracted to me. Must be because of my totes stylish looks and junk.

**Dolly**: Uh-huh. Valley girl. That’s a stereotype for the books. Go stand nearby… Kibble or whatever.

**Sweater**: What’s, like, a valley girl? Sounds totes pretty!

*A lily pad… with Flower’s body… walks up.*

**Dolly**: Put on some clothes please. There are children watching this.

**Lily Pad**: What?

**Dolly**: Nevermind. Who are you and what’s your shtick?

**Lily Pad**: My name’s Lily Pad, man… You might’ve heard of me through my Miiverse blog, “Veganism for Life!” I’m here to promote peace and love, man… I’m sure this’ll go smoothly.

**Dolly**: Cool. A company and love. That’s an unheard of combination, next!

**Lily Pad**: Wait, but I haven’t--

*A toilet shoves Lily Pad to the side.*

**Dolly**: Well, that’s one way to introduce yourself. What’s your shtick?

**Toilet**: shtick

**Dolly**: Y-Yeah. What is it?

**Toilet**: dunno, dont think i gots one

**Dolly**: Well… What are you then?

**Toilet**: maybe im a toilet, maybe im a urinal, youll never know

**Dolly**: …

**Toilet**: who cares

*Dolly casually slides Toilet over to the others as another fellow shows up.*

**Heptagon**: Is it my turn yet? ‘M gettin’ bored.

**Dolly**: Uhhh yeah sure.

**Heptagon**: Name’s Heptagon, and I’m one of the best darn plantation owners this side of the border! Be warned, none of ya will ever compete with me! Never!

**Dolly**: Arrogance. Adorable.

**Heptagon**: Even ya, Dolly! Don’t mess with me, or else I’ll whip you so hard daddy wi--

**Dolly**: Shutupnowbeforeigetsued--WHO NEXT?

*An oak tree walks up.*

**Oak Tree**: Dolly, baby, you see these people? They don’t mean anything to you! They’re here to win, I’m here to help!

**Dolly**: Yes, yes. Oak Tree.

**Oak Tree**: Of course, but I need your assistance! A bit of… how do you put it… charity? 35 dollars!

**Dolly**: No, Oak Tree.

**Oak Tree**: Oh, c’mon! I’m sure you’d--

*Dolly pushes Oak Tree to the others. A wing floats by.*

**Dolly**: Ah, Wingy. Welcome.

**Wingy**: Wing, first of all. And second, I can’t believe I’m babysitting some more brats.

**Dolly**: Ah, a babysitter. Isn’t that a job. I’m sure you’re great with kids.

**Wingy**: No. I hate all of them. Just because I watch over them doesn’t stop them from being annoying little brats.

*Wingy leaves. Some candy walks up next.*

**Fun Dip**: Hihi! I’m Fun Dip, nice to meetcha!

**Dolly**: Yeah. Nice. What’s your dynamic?

**Fun Dip**: Huh? What’s that?

**Dolly**: …

**Fun Dip**: …

*Dolly pushes Fun Dip over to the others.*

**Dolly**: Note to self, don’t use words with more than three syllables.

**Handbook**: Ooh, that means I’m--

**Nitrogen**: Woah, watch your step, pal!

**Dolly**: Who is that?

**Nitrogen**: Pay attention to the floating pair of sunglasses.

**Dolly**: Oh right. Uh, Nitrogen, right?

**Nitrogen**: Yeah. Thank goodness you noticed me, I’ve been dying to get outta here and explore Pendleberry. You see, I’m not from around here, I’m--

*Nitrogen begins to trail off as Dolly grabs Handbook.*

**Dolly**: We’ll let him talk. What about you.

**Handbook**: Nice to meet you! The name’s Handbook! Golly, I’ve never been around so many people before! Is this what they call a party?

**Dolly**: Let me guess, parents leave you locked up?

**Handbook**: No, they just taught me everything I knew and cared for all my needs!

**Dolly**: …

*Handbook walks over.*

**Spraycan**: Yoyo, that means it’s our turn!

**Heel**: Hey, Sprayie? Tone down the rap, please. I don’t think there’s any rap pop artists.

**Dolly**: Oh, you two know each other?

**Spraycan**: Unfortunately. Heel’s the one reason I’m outta jail, yo.

**Heel**: More like I paid to get you out. Spraycan here is my bodyguard.

**Spraycan**: And rebellious artist extraordinaire! Don’t forget that!

**Heel**: Spraycan, if you keep this up, I’m getting that Pocket Knife guy to serve as my bodyguard.

*The two bicker as they walk off. Bug Zapper walks off, immediately greeted by mass cheering.*

**Bug Zapper**: C-C’mon, guys! You said you wouldn’t follow me!

**Dolly**: Ah, the troubles of being a celebrity. I knew someone would understand.

**Bug Zapper**: C-Celebrity? Oh, heaven’s no! I’m just the President of--

**Dolly**: A president, eh? Why are you competing? Aren’t you loaded?

**Bug Zapper**: W-Well, you see its because--

*Bug Zapper is nearly shot.*

**Bug Zapper**: OH LORD SHE’S FOLLOWING ME!

*Bug Zapper runs off.*

**Dolly**: …

*Dolly shakes her head as the next competitor begins to arrive.*

**Pocket Watch**: H-Hi.

**Dolly**: Oh, Pocket Watch. It’s a surprise to see---

*Pocket Watch sneezes, and time stops.*

**Pocket Watch**: Agh! No! Not again! PLEASE!

*Pocket Watch sneezes again. Time continues.*

**Dolly**: --you. I didn’t expect you’d come.

**Pocket Watch**: Y-Yeah. I just t-thought it’d be a fun i-i-idea. And t-test my abilities and…that.

*Pocket Watch walks off, traumatized. A helm walks up.*

**Helm**: @&#^&^. ^&^&(\*:}”>:, &~\*-

**Dolly**: Uh… I can’t understand you. Do we have a translator in the audience?

**Helm**: Oh. Soz. I am from Atlantis, so I speak native tongue. Soz.

**Dolly**: Well, that’s unique.

**Helm**: Yes. I shall compete in show and win. For Atlantis!

*Helm begins to walk away and trips. A lantern floats up and picks him up.*

**Traditional Lantern**: Is it my turn?

**Dolly**: No, it’s hers.

*Strawberry Candy walks up.*

**Strawberry Candy**: Well, isn’t this sweet. Letting me pass someone, are we?

**Dolly**: That was sarcasm but okay.

**Strawberry Candy**: It’s hard to tell in writing, but nonetheless, I’ll introduce myself. My name is Strawberry Candy. Author extraordinaire. Or at least, I should be. But alas, no one wishes to publish my books… I’ll get it done one day.

*Strawberry Candy walks off.*

**Traditional Lantern**: So my turn?

**Dolly**: Yes.

**Traditional Lantern**: Hello! Me and my family own the local restaurant here, and now I’m competing without adult supervision! Hooray!

**Dolly**: …

**Traditional Lantern**: Oh, right. You’re an adult. Boo.

*Traditional Lantern floats away.*

**Sash**: WOOH! YEAH! MY TURN!

**Dolly**: HOLY CR--Why are you so excited?

**Sash**: Cuz this is reality show number 10, baby! I’ve competed in so many, and won, like, 7 of them!

**Dolly**: Ah. Think you can win another, is that it?

**Sash**: Yeah! I’ll kick everyone’s--

**Cherry**: LANGUAGE! My sister’s here, you know!

*A Double Cherry walks over.*

**Cherry**: I’m Cherry, that’s Berry. Berry’s only here because Judith wants me to compete with her.

*Berry is sleeping peacefully.*

**Cherry**: Ugh, is there anyway I can hire a babysitter for her?

**Wingy**: No.

*Cherry rolls her eyes. Varsity Jacket appears.*

**Varsity Jacket**: Look at this. Pathetic.

**Dolly**: I didn’t say anything for Cherry so hi, Varsity Jacket. What’s up?

**Varsity Jacket**: I was expecting some real competition. I played College Ball, ya know. Tough as nails.

**Dolly**: Yes, yes. But I’m sure you can cream them all?

**Varsity Jacket**: Any day of the week.

*Varsity Jacket leaves. The last one walks over.*

**Stony**: Hi, I’m Stony.

**Dolly**: Are you the last one? Please be the last one.

**Stony**: Err, yes, I am the last one, Stony.

**Dolly**: Thank goodness. I should’ve entrusted Monty with this job. That’s everyone, right? Yes. Good. Okay everybody! Now that you have all been introduced, we will be picking teams. To choose who the three team captains are, you will be participating in a rigorous skill-based challenge.

**Pocket Watch:** So...

**Dolly:** it says gullible on the ceiling.

*Everyone except for Spraycan, Strawberry Candy, and Bug Zapper look up.*

**Dolly**: Congrats. You 3 are the team captains. Spraycan, you begin.

**Spraycan**: Aw yeah! Let’s see… Yo, Sugah Dip! You join my team!

**Sugar Dip**: Woah! First picked? That never happens!

*Sugar Dip low fives Spraycan.*

**Strawberry Candy**: Oh! My turn already? Uh… Err… Handbook.

**Handbook**: Yeah, second-pick! Thank you, mister!

**Strawberry Candy**: I’m a girl…

**Handbook**: Sorry! Just trying to be polite!

**Bug Zapper**: Lily Pad seems nice… wanna join me?

**Lily Pad**: Yeah, man! I bet you and I would be willing to promote love of all kinds!

**Bug Zapper**: O-Oh! M-Maybe… Once I’m able to return to my country I’ll be sure to thank you!

**Lily Pad**: Always happy to help, man…

**Spraycan**: Varsity Jacket looks cool, you should join my team!

**Varsity Jacket**: Hmm… I usually don’t pair myself with weirdos, but I think you look fun enough. I’ll join.

**Spraycan**: Killer!

**Strawberry Candy**: Heptagon… How many sides is that?

**Heptagon**: I figured you cityfolk wouldn’t recognize that.

**Handbook**: I could count for you!

**Heptagon**: I *know* how many sides I have, you filthy spoiled boy.

**Bug Zapper**: Kibble, are you a real superhero?

**Kibble**: Of course!

**Bug Zapper**: JOINMYTEAMPLEASEINEEDPROTECTION

**Kibble**: Always happy to help a politician! Even the poopy ones!

**Lily Pad**: Not the poopy ones, man… They’re against my community…

**Spraycan**: Yo, Traditional Lantern! I just realized I spraypainted my face on your family’s restaurant.

**Traditional Lantern**: You WHAT!?

**Spraycan**: To make up for it, join my team!

**Traditional Lantern**: I don’t know about this…

**Strawberry Candy**: Sweater, you should join us!

**Sweater**: Uh, like, why?

**Strawberry Candy**: I always wanted to research a valley girl for an upcoming story of mine.

**Sweater**: Oooh! Ok! That sounds, like, totes amazing… but what’s a Valley Girl?

**Bug Zapper**: Uh… Stony.

**Stony**: Hmm? You want me on your team? That’s a surprise.

**Bug Zapper**: Yes, and please stand directly behind me.

**Stony**: Huh, why--

*A bullet shoots at Stony and reflects him.*

**Stony**: That happened.

**Bug Zapper**: Thank goodness you’re already w-working…

**Spraycan**: Yo, Toilet! Your time is now!

**Toilet**: so you mean its…potty time?

*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT7Mfs9yTJE*

**Spraycan**: Where did that even come from?

**Fun Dip**: Whoooo knows!

**Strawberry Candy**: Helm.

**Helm**: Hmm?

**Strawberry Candy**: Join our team.

**Helm**: I thank for letting me compete!

**Strawberry Candy**: Good way to learn how to write foreigners. I should get a notebook for my research.

**Bug Zapper**: O-Oh? My turn? Uh… What’s the floating pair of sunglasses?

**Nitrogen**: Nitrogen’s the name, and your team is my game!

**Bug Zapper**: I don’t know how much you can help p-protect me, but s-sure…

**Spraycan**: POCKET WATCH!

**Pocket Watch**: Uh… are you sure? I’m not exactly a… great competitor.

**Spraycan**: Someone’s gotta pick you, right?

**Pocket Watch**: I-I mean… Yeah. Thanks, I guess.

**Strawberry Candy**: Hmm, let’s see… Oak Tree.

**Oak Tree**: Finally, but I come at a price. You see, you can’t just purchase this for free. What’s your deal?

**Strawberry Candy**: I am a struggling fanfic writer who will degrade herself for getting even the most minor of a thing wrong.

**Oak Tree**: …Point taken!

**Bug Zapper**: D-Double Cherry, come here.

*Double Cherry walks over. Bug Zapper touches her and…nothing happens.*

**Bug Zapper**: D-D’oh… I was hoping I c-could make a body double… Oh well. J-Just join our team.

**Cherry**: Whatever.

*Cherry sits there.*

**Spraycan**: heel.

**Heel**: Oh… what was that?

**Spraycan**: Heel. Get over here.

**Heel**: I knew you’d eventually comply with protecting me.

**Spraycan**: No, the other options just aren’t that good.

**Strawberry Candy**: Don’t listen to them, Wingy! You’re a good person, right?

**Wingy**: Whatever. I expected to be last. I’ll be laughing my ass off once everyone leaves.

**Sash**: Do my eyes deceive me, or am I last picked? You should realize that winners always are the last place winner!

**Bug Zapper**: S-Sorry, I just didn’t have a need for you…

**Sash**: Oh well. I’m happy to make acquaintance!  Up until I win, of course.

…

**Sash:** We should pick a team name!

**Stony:** That's true, but what should it be?

**Cherry:** Bug Zapper is the team leader, so we should make the team after her!

**Bug Zapper:** Oh, gee! Well, I think we should be called…the uh… The Insect Ensemble?

"The Insect Ensemble"

*Strawberry Candy looks over at the IE from a distance.*

**Strawberry Candy:** We need a new, fresh name! Something snappy, and effective that works well and outdoes the other team!

**Toilet:** what about the flushed fates

**Strawberry Candy:** Yeah! The Flushed- wait

"The Flushed Fates"

*Toilet walks away from the other team, and towards his own.*

**Toilet:** the deed is done

**Spraycan:** What?

…

**Spraycan:** Hm, well, to outdo the other two teams, we should be called the Spray Guys!

**Pocket Watch:** Why n-not the Spry Guys? It rhymes better!

**Spraycan:** Well, we are pretty active… Hecks yeah! Spry Guys!

*Everyone cheers except Heel.*

**Heel**: I wanted to be called Heel and friends.

"The Spry Guys"

**Dolly:** And that's all three! Good job guys. Now, let's get into one reason I created this competition! Contestants, follow me.

*We arrive to a backstage room. Inside, there is a corkboard, with images of multiple business people and products on it. Most of which is connected by a red string.*

**Dolly:** Alright. As you all know, our produce store "Bullet" will be opening soon. Well, a new location, anyway. The thing is, my company doesn’t really… produce anything. I need people to ensure this new location is just as successful as the last ones.

*Dolly takes three business people off the board and throws them on the floor.*

**Dolly**: First up is Turk, an old… colleague, that’s the word I’ll use. Someone I used to know. Turk here produces many goods and services that Bullet has used before to ensure quality and success. Unfortunately, we haven’t been on speaking terms for quite some time now…

**Varsity Jacket**: What happened?

**Dolly**: I ruined his marriage. Anyways, next up is Headband. She’s our lead star in the electronic department, the Grapefruit products are always bestsellers. I don’t know why she stopped contact but if I were to keep those nerds from coming to my store, I need her electronics.

*Dolly throws the last one.*

**Dolly**: This one infuriates me. Jump Rope and her partner Glow-In-The-Dark Rock were former interns of mine who were disappointed in my less than appealing sports section, so they started producing their own. In order to appeal to the jocks, I need to improve my section with their supplies.

*Dolly puts the pictures back.*

**Dolly**: The optimal move is for me to appear in person, but the store is opening in three days, and I’d need to supply them with my products as fast as possible. That’s where you come in. With the help of my interns Audrey, Ant Tony, and Durr Ant, you’ll be going to each business and try to convince them to give me their products in any way possible, as long as it’s legal. The team that succeeds the best will be granted a first class hotel, because the resort wasn’t expensive enough, while the losing team will lose a member. You got that?

**Stony**: Wait, who do we take on?

**Dolly**: Uhhh… Spry Guys, you do Jump Rope and the Rock, Insects, help out Turk, and Potty People, good luck with Headband. Ready? Go.

*Dolly immediately leaves. Kibble blinks once.*

**Kibble:** Dolly sure is… an interesting character.

**Bug Zapper:** Yeah, but I wouldn't make too much of it. Let's go see what Audrey has for us!

**Kibble:** Yeah! Maybe she'll recognize you…

**Bug Zapper**: I hope not…

*The Insects walk off. Heel "hms".*

**Heel:** Well, Ant Tony seems like a resourceful person! I've heard some inventions they've made themselves!

**Spraycan:** Heh, sounds useful.

*A dramatic zoom in on Stopwatch is seen.*

**Spraycan:** Dude, are you ok?

**Stopwatch:** Y-Yeah. Let's go see Ant Tony…

**Wing:** So that leaves us with Durr Ant.

*The Fates walk over to where Durr Ant is. He's an ant, but seemingly with shiny silver paint on him.*

**Durr Ant:** Greetings

**Strawberry Candy**: Alright, Durr Ant. Tell us what you know about Headband.

**Durr Ant**: The most I *really* know is that she sells those Grapefruits. They’re popular, yet, their battery life is notoriously sucky. In our personal electronics department, we created these batteries that can outrun the processing power of theirs by more than double, but… they aren’t ready for display yet. She’s gonna have to take your word for it.

**Sweater:** But like, what if she doesn't?

**Durr Ant:** That isn’t my concern.

*Durr Ant skitters off.*

**Sweater:** That was, like, sooooo rude.

**Strawberry Candy**: Well, that’s nice. How are we gonna get there?

*Oak Tree walks up to some ant intern’s car.*

**Oak Tree**: Heya, buddy! Tell ya what! This car here looks nice, can I borrow it for, say… 5 dollars?

**Albert**: No.

**Oak Tree**: You’re right, buddy. 6 dollars for this fine vehicle.

**Albert**: No.

**Oak Tree**: Buddy, buddy. You drive a hard bargain, I’m sure we can agree on something… but wooh! Now I’m thirsty! Want some Miracle Cure? It’s on the house, and can get you anything you desire!

**Albert**: Will it get you two to leave my car alone?

**Oak Tree**: Sure.

*Albert takes the…”drink” and drinks it. He immediately begins to choke and passes out.*

**Oak Tree**: GET IN BEFORE HE WAKES UP!

*The Flushed Fates hop in the car and drive off. Shifts over to Stony talking to Audrey.*

**Audrey**: Sir Turk is truly a kind person, or at least that’s what Madam Dolly said. I hope nothing bad happened between them…

**Stony**: Yeah, yeah.

**Audrey**: Hmm… I know of one thing that appeases Sir Turk, and it is…

*Audrey puts a golden statue in… Oh, wait.*

**Audrey**: Oh. Uh… This is awkward.

**Sash**: No worries, I’ll take it!

*Sash grabs the Statue.*

**Audrey**: Thank you! I do not understand why, but Turk is really into these Gold Statue things. This one was an heirloom from Alexander’s family, but… He sold it to me for 900 dollars.

**Sash**: Well, what are we waiting for?

**Kibble**: Quick, move!

*The Insects move. Bug Zapper appears behind Double Cherry.*

**Bug Zapper**: she didn’t notice me, right?

**Cherry**: You’re good.

**Bug Zapper**: Thank goodness…

*Cuts over to Spraycan. He’s trying to talk with Ant Tony, but all he does is give him 300 dollars.*

**Spraycan:** Alrighty team, we got what we need, now how do we get to that Sports Duo?

**Fun Dip:** Uh… dunno.

**Spraycan:** Darn…WAIT. Traditional Lantern can fly! Everyone, onto her!

**Traditional Lantern:** I don't actually think that's a good i-

*The Spry Guys all grab onto Traditional Lantern, whether that be with their legs or arms. TL takes off, but slowly, due to the weight.*

**Varsity Jacket:** This sucks.

**Toilet**: all we need is a bit more… air

*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT7Mfs9yTJE* *at 2x speed.*

**Varsity Jacket**: What’s the joke there?

**Toilet**: look, everyone blow in the other direction

*Only Toilet blows. Everyone else just stares at Toilet awkwardly. They’re going… slightly faster?*

**Heel**: i hate this.

*Cuts to the Flushed Fates, all crammed together in Alexander’s car. They are…doing terribly.*

**Strawberry Candy**: W-Where did you learn how to drive?!

**Oak Tree**: I didn’t.

**Wing**: Do a better job, you-- ugh, here, let a professional teach you how it’s done.

*Wing grabs the wheel. She turns a bit, before immediately making the same mistakes.*

**Oak Tree**: You’re terrible!

**Wing**: Better than you!

**Strawberry Candy**: Not really…

**Helm**: This better in Atlantis. There we use ocean to go where we want. Hoooooooooooooooooooooo….

*Helm starts to float.*

**Sweater**: Um… Is anyone, like, seeing this and junk?

*Helm’s eyes start to glow.*

**Heptagon**: Ah’m not sure that’s a good sign.

*The car starts floating upward, with a Helm shaped dent on top. We then zoom on to see Sash viewing this spectacle through a spyglass.*

**Sash:** We're falling behind!

**Stony:** Since when did you have a magnifying glass?

**Sash:** Um-

**Nitrogen**: You guys, we gotta move faster!

**Cherry**: We’d be going faster if we weren’t just walking.

**Lily Pad**: Nah, man… This is what mother nature intended… I talked about this--

**Cherry**: We’re gonna lose the first challenge you moron!

**Bug Zapper**: Maybe we can do something… Ooh, I know!

*Bug Zapper pushes Cherry.*

**Cherry**: That isn’t even close to helping.

**Lily Pad**: Maybe we could let the wind guide us?

*Lily Pad smiles as she lets the wind blow her away… or at least she tries too.*

**Kibble**: Guys. We need to think. How do we get far fast?

**Lily Pad**: Mother nature!

**Stony**: Running.

**Sash**: Getting first place!

**Nitrogen**: Hitch a ride!

**Kibble**: No! We need to call upon the Bark Computer!

*Kibble pulls out a phone and presses 2 buttons.*

**Sash**: …

**Stony**: …

**Lily Pad**: …

**Cherry**: Welp, I’m out. Done with this s--

*Cherry immediately freaks out as a helicopter appears under her.*

**Kibble**: Quick, grab on!

*The insects hop in the helicopter.*

**Stony**: You had this the whole time?!

**Kibble**: I’m rich.

**Cherry**: THEN WHY ARE YOU COMPETING!?

**Kibble**: Because I’m losing money. Fast.

*Cuts back to the Spry Guys. Toilet is still the only one blowing.*

**Varsity Jacket**: You’re wasting your breath!

**Toilet**: shut up

**Heel**: Seriously Toilet, stop it.

**Toilet**: were going farther arent we

**Pocket Watch**: I’m not noticing anything.

**Toilet**: what do you think fundip

**FunDip**: I don’t have any opinion.

**Toilet**: so i wont stop

**Spraycan**: Stop.

**Toilet**: no

**Traditional Lantern**: Guys stop arguing, you’re making it hard to concentrate.

**Heel**: I won’t stop until Toilet stops blowing!

**Toilet**: im going faster

**Varsity Jacket**: YOU AREN’T!

*Pocket Watch starts to shake.*

**Pocket Watch**: M-Maybe listen to everyone else, Toilet…

**Toilet**: no

**FunDip**: I got a headache…

**Varsity Jacket**: Who picked you on our team anyway?!

**Spraycan**: Uh, I did, yo.

**Pocket Watch**: G-Guys…

**Varsity Jacket**: You idiot! We’re gonna lose!

**Toilet**: im the only one helping

**Traditional Lantern**: Yeah, right…

**Pocket Watch**: G-Guys…!

**Varsity Jacket**: When we lose, we vote him off now!

*Pocket Watch continues shivering, and coughs. As he coughs, the Spry Guys get covered in a pink void and suddenly disappear. They soon teleport right in front of Jump Rope’s Sports Supplies.*

**Spraycan**: What the…?

**Toilet**: i knew i was useful

**Varsity Jacket**: Yeah right, you moron. C’mon, we may have made it, but we haven’t won. And if we don’t win, I know exactly who I’m voting for.

**Toilet**: k

*The competitors walk in, minus Pocket Watch and FunDip.*

**Pocket Watch**: Oh, g-go on ahead. I’ll meet up with you.

**FunDip**: No. I saw that, and I’m… surprised. What do you have?

**Pocket Watch**: H-Huh? Oh, nothing. Just a normal everyday object.

**FunDip**: …Uh-huh…

*FunDip continues to stare at Pocket Watch, before entering the building. Pocket Watch reluctantly follows her. Almost a second later, the Fates zoom past the store in the flying miniature car.*

**Wing:** I think we’re getting closer!

**Oak Tree:** I doubt it.

*Sweater stares out the window before quickly looking back up.*

**Sweater:** G-Guys! Like, turn left here! I totally recognize that shop!

**Wing:** If you say so!

*Wing reaches over the seat and turns Helm to the left. The car comically comes to a halt right in front of Headband’s store.*

**Sweater:** I, like, knew it!

*Most of the team come out of the car, except for Helm.* *Strawberry Candy kicks the door to the electronics door open. What we see inside is a chromium painted wall with Grapefruit chargers all over them.*

**Headband**: Sorry, sir. The battery life is a real issue we’re working on right now, swearsies!

**Shovelware**: Hmm, rather unfortunate. Oh well! I still sell to customer either way!

*Shovelware walks out, pushing Strawberry Candy aside.*

**Headband**: Oh, hey. Uh… can I help you?

*The Ensembles are in the helicopter, soaring over Pendleberry. Bug Zapper stares out the window, looking down.*

**Bug Zapper:** I don’t see Turk’s store anywhere!

**Sash:** That’s obvious for someone who isn’t native to the Pendleberry environment!

**Bug Zapper:** Excuse me?

*Sash pushes past Bug Zapper but gets sucked out of the copter through plane pressure.*

**Sash:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…

**Stony:** Kibble! Go down after him!

**Kibble:** Alright!

*Kibble quickly steers the plane down after Sash. The rest of the team screams before Sash crashes onto a turkey in front of some corner store.*

**Sash:** Told you!

*The Spry Guys walk through the large sports store, specifically Varsity Jacket. He stops in front of one of the many bench presses.*

**Varsity Jacket:** It’s…beautiful…

**Spraycan:** Yo, Is there a Jump Rope around here somewhere? We have something important to discuss!

*A pink pair of jump rope stands up from behind the front counter.*

**Jump Rope:** I said I’ll get the money for you la… oh! You guys… aren’t those dachshunds! Joy!

**Spraycan:** What?

**Jump Rope:** Nevermind. What’s up?

**Heel:** We’re here for Dolly. She’s opening up and she wants to know if you can supply products for her!

**Jump Rope:** Of course!

**Heel:** Oh! Yay!

**Jump Rope**: Just um… come to the back, and I’ll get you some of the legal papers!

*The Spry Guys slowly shuffle behind the desk and towards the back. Glow in the Dark Rock looks at Jump Rope once and shakes his head disapprovingly.*

**Jump Rope:** Listen. It’ll get him off our backs. It’s for our own good, ok?

*Jump Rope slowly walks into the back of the store. Meanwhile, Headband is discussing the propositions with the Flushed Fates.*

**Oak Tree:** Oh, these things? These are state of the line Visual Enhancers! Putting them on can unlock new features that you’ve never been able to see on your phone!

**Headband:** I don’t care about that. I---Look, why are you here? You still haven’t answered that question.

**Strawberry Candy**: We’re com--Interns. We’re… Interns… for Dolly.

**Headband**: Oh, her? Yeah, what does she want?

**Handbook**: She’s looking for suppliers for her store! Are you interested?

**Headband**: …Yeah, sure. Why not, it’s been a while since I’ve seen her.

*Headband stops for a second, and smiles.*

**Headband:** But I need her help. I’ll help if you were to say… have some of those Nettal battery packs I’ve been asking for?

**Strawberry Candy:** I don’t see why not. I’m sure Dolly'll supply you if you supply her.

**Headband:** Okay then!

*Headband grabs a piece of paper and scribbles her name onto it, before turning it over to Strawberry Candy.*

**Strawberry Candy:** Nice! Let’s go team!

*The Flushed Fates come outside… only to see the car levitating away from their reach.*

**Heptagon:** Aw, haybale. I knew I shoulda tied it up.

**Strawberry Candy**: Oh, great… Helm? Can you hear us? Can you please put the car down?

*Inside the car…*

**Helm:** HOOOOOOoooo…

*Now out of the car.*

**Wing:** What are we gonna do?

**Sweater:** Can’t you, like, fly?

**Wing:** N-No. I can float, but that’s it.

**Strawberry Candy**: Well, we’re just gonna have to run. C’mon.

**Oak Tree**: Oh, no! I paid good money for--

**Strawberry Candy**: YOU POISONED AN ANT INTERN--

**Sweater**: Ooh, can we, like, call them Anterns?

*Oak Tree and Strawberry Candy stare at Sweater. She blushes and walks away.*

**Strawberry Candy**: This isn’t over. C’mon, we don’t have time to lose.

*The Fates run off. MEANWHILE, Turk dusts himself off, pushing Sash off of him.*

**Turk:** That was rather rude of you… what’s the deal then?

*Bug Zapper steps out of the airplane. Turk grabs her hand.*

**Turk:** Greetings, madam.

**Bug Zapper:** Oh! Thank you. We need you to supply Nettal with some of your products!

*Turk’s enlightened expression turns sour.*

**Turk**: Oh. Dolly’s company. Look, I thank you for the offer, Miss Zapper, but I refuse to help her.

**Bug Zapper**: Huh? W-Why is that?

**Turk**: It was my wedding day, summer of ’87. We stood in the aisle, asking if there were any rejections, when a certain SOMEONE burst in drunk, tried to reject the marriage, and passed out. It made me the laughing stock of my family for weeks.

**Nitrogen:** Who?

**Turk:** …

**Stony:** We kinda… need you to sign. It’s part of a contest we’re doing, and we’ll lose if you don’t.

**Turk:** MAN, again with the contests! I remember when my friend started one of those competition series back in JanuCary and he practically made all the contests revolve around him! Now he’s some rogue movie star and I have an actual store to lay back on! Success isn’t earned through fame! It’s earned through hard work and dedication!

*Sash leans over on Nitrogen.*

**Sash:** I wonder if he has a tangent for anything we talk about.

**Nitrogen**: Sounds fun, let’s see… I think Lily Pad had a blog she wanted you to check out.

**Turk:** Blogs blogs blogs… people say it’s the future when in reality it’s just another distraction that privileged teenagers use to…

*Turk rambles on, on and on…*

**Nitrogen**: He totally does!

*Nitrogen and Sash share a laugh.*

**Lily Pad**: Real mature, you two… Can we just get this gold statue to him?

**Nitrogen:** Oh, right!

**Turk:** Gold statue?

*Nitrogen grabs a statue and puts it in front of Turk.*

**Nitrogen:** It’s all yours--

**Bug Zapper**: As long as you agree to help out Dolly!

*Turk dusts off his suit.*

**Turk:** I think… that can be arranged.

**Bug Zapper**: W-We did it!

*Turk pulls out his phone and starts talking with Dolly.*

**Nitrogen**: I wonder what the statues are for.

**Lily Pad**: Don’t you know, like… this is just evil busines--

**Kibble**: I bet it’s for something heroic!

*Turk comes back.*

**Turk**: Dolly wanted me to tell you you're safe.

*The Insects cheer, before Turk starts on another tangent.*

**Turk**: Can’t believe it, [insert tangent on every new businessman trying to start their new reality show.]

**Lily Pad**: We should get out while we can, man…

*The Insects run out. Turk stares at them, and opens up a hidden chamber. He places a gold statue onto a pedestal, with another one nearby.*

**Turk**: After nearly 10 years, I finally have 2. One more, and it will finally be complete.

*Cuts to the Spry Guys. Jump Rope comes back in and gives a few legal papers and her phone number.*

**Jump Rope**: Just get Dolly to sign that, and we’re golden! Also is the fine print really readable?

**Spraycan**: Not that I can tell!

**Jump Rope**: Excellent! I’ll get started on the shipping!

**Traditional Lantern**: I can already guess how this will go… C’mon, guys. Hop on.

**FunDip**: W-Wait!

*FunDip kicks Pocket Watch.*

**Heel**: Hey! You can’t just kick people because they’re better than you!

**Pocket Watch**: O-Ouch…

**Varsity Jacket**: I don’t see the problem with it, but kick Toilet instead.

**Toilet**: im literally the only reason were still here

**Varsity Jacket**: No you aren’t, I am!

**Traditional Lantern**: Technically, it’s me.

**FunDip**: A-Actually, it’s---

**Pocket Watch**: H-Hey! FunDip! Wh-Why not we just hop on?

**FunDip**: Pocket Watch, what are you--

*Pocket Watch whispers to FunDip.*

**Pocket Watch**: I don’t want anyone else to f-find out. I just wanna be treated as normal…

**FunDip**: O-Oh, right.

*FunDip speaks again.*

**FunDip**: Y-Yeah, let’s just go.

*The characters hop on Traditional Lantern. As they fly off, Toilet starts to blow, before all of them notice the flying car.*

**Spraycan**: Yo, stop! Let’s get there quick, without wasting our breath!

**Toilet**: yeah lets just do that

*The Spry Guys hop into the car, where they see Helm.*

**Helm**: Hooooo…

**FunDip**: O-Oh, this isn’t a--

*Varsity Jacket immediately throws Helm out and starts driving.*

**Varsity Jacket**: This is a competition, and we’re here to win.

**Heel**: Huh. Pushy, I like it! I wish Spraycan were more like you!

**Spraycan**: Yeah, without any morals.

**Toilet**: well our luck is now wheely great

*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT7Mfs9yTJE* *at 8x speed.*

**Varsity Jacket**: im going to kill you.

*Cuts to the Fates, who are still just walking. Helm suddenly falls down.*

**Helm**: Ugh… that no feel good.

**Heptagon**: Ya idiot! Ya made us lose! I swear to--

**Strawberry Candy**: Guys, look!

*The Car is going past them. Varsity Jacket stares out the window and blows a raspberry.*

**Oak Tree**: …GET THEM!

*The Fates run after The Spry Guys… and then immediately stop out of tiredness. Meanwhile the Spry Guys are completely calm and eventually get to Dolly’s place.*

**Dolly:** Annnnnddd… the Spry Guys are the last ones safe!

*Varsity Jacket sticks his head out of the window, mildly shocked.*

**Varsity Jacket:** B-but I don't see those Insect guys anywhere around here!

**Dolly:** Well, they called in way before you arrived. But don’t worry! Second place is still fine!

**Varsity Jacket:** S-second… place?