Holly's Journal

## Capricious Cognizance

S6CC3

February 10, 2021
It’s becoming increasingly obvious that my memory, much like my personality, is absolute garbage. I never saw the point in journaling but maybe writing stuff down will help keep the events from slipping out of my head like a colander. So I was at this new “Whimsical Wilma’s place for derby practice today. But the track like, turned into ramps? I figured it was some feature of the place and Coach was just rolling with it but then a hole opened in the floor and one of the brats we had to share the rink with fell in. I was about to try and catch her when this other girl jumped in. She definitely didn’t have a handle on the situation though so I jumped in and took the force of the fall for the both of us.
Turns out this creepy robot down there was kidnapping children for some sort of entertainment, which is super weird and creepy. Anyway the other girl I jumped in with I’d seen before, but I noticed this time that she’s like… snakes or whatever, which is pretty cool I guess. Oh yeah Nat from Big Team was down there too and she was making a show of things as usual, and also this blue person named Inge. Anyway that’s like… about where my memory gets fuzzy and I only remember the broad strokes, and mostly just from asking Nat later. Apparently I went to the side to mask up and then we teamed up to take care of the robot creep.
The weird part is, I remember revealing my identity to Nat. I don’t- I thought I’d agreed I wasn’t going to reveal my identity to people but like- I don’t know, something about the adrenaline of the fight must’ve messed with my decision making. It’s fine though it was just Nat. And she was cool about it obviously. Anyway apparently she’d invited us to Big Team which I don’t remember happening and honestly I don’t know why I said yes. I really don’t love the culture surrounding superheroes, but like, I don’t know maybe this’ll be a good thing. I really don’t need more on my plate but like, everyone on the derby team hates me, except Ronnie, but Ronnie doesn’t hate anyone. Oh and I hate everyone at Smithton’s, I wish Mom would just let me go to Big High. Anyway maybe this will be good for me… I… I don’t like admitting it but I could use some friends. Stay tuned I guess.

February 11, 2021
Oh wait! I totally remembered what was up, okay, how could I forget? It was so cool! So Beans like, petrified the shit out of some evil clowns and it was so awesome. And then I used my powers to latch on to Nat and she like, swung me around so that I could clothesline the baddies and also grab the kid they took! And then- Inge- Inge is so cool by the way! We’re getting boba later with Inge’s other friend Bea, who I think is on the team too? Anyway Inge did some cool fucking magic fire stuff and it almost hurt beans but then Cadenze did her cool sound stuff and like totally brought the bad guys down! Also I made a cage with my powers which was awesome up until it didn’t work and I got thrown in there instead but it’s okay because we won! And I got to be really really cool and show off my cool powers and Nat was SO impressed that she invited us to Big Team, how awesome is that!? We get to work with other superheroes and get to do so many sick stunts! I can’t wait :)

February 12, 2021
I… I guess I wrote this last night. I don’t remember writing this. I must have been having a fucking- manic episode or something. Ugh, what the fuck is wrong with me.

## Chez Shellshock

S6E18

March 19, 2021

Okay. So. This whole secret identity thing, it’s great. It lets me keep my hero life and everything else separate. Neat little boxes that don’t spill into one another, right? At least, in theory. Today I ran into just about the worst person on a mission: my mom. I don’t even remember what happened up until seeing her restaurant in the background of that fucking bomb threat video. I think I was just so appalled that this influencer asshole was threatening to kill people like it was nothing I just- blacked out. Anyway, we decided to wear cute clothes to mom’s place (the others looked really cute, I wish I could look as good in a dress as Brenna does, maybe someday) I wanted to hide my identity so I wore a masquerade mask… I should’ve known better. Like, I knew my mom was going to be there and that she’d recognize me even with the mask, but I’d hoped she’d just stay in the kitchen while we did our thing.

Anyway, when we got there and of *course* the host was an asshole to Beans for being a gorgon, what an asshole. Eventually he ended up with the impression that I was Faith and that I was there for Jay Jonah Fallon which, I mean I’ll take it. He was in there one what looked like a date with Mayor Crossover? Which is weird. Anyway I- being in there sucked. There was a plaque to okaasan on the way in and all kinds of memorabilia about her hero days… it’s like- every time I go in there I have to the think about my dead mother who I never got to know and about how my living mother spends all of her time in that stupid restaurant because she wants to pretend she’s not a single widow raising three kids.

It was too much. At some point she stepped out of the kitchen to talk to the team and I hid behind Brenna. They started arguing. Mom was a bitch. Big surprise. I bolted when she wasn’t looking. I cried on the sidewalk. Brenna stormed out too, I don’t blame her. I uh, I ended up telling her that that was my mom. So, she knows my identity now I guess. But it was fine, it helped. She helped me feel better about the whole thing. Brenna is nice.

We finished up with the rest of the bombs, took out some weird knight dude, and took a selfie together. The rest of the day was nice, my teammates are cool. Maybe I can be their friends someday.

March 20, 2021

How could I forget!? We met this cool teenage villain named hyperpop!? She was SO COOL. She had these like music powers and this whole messy aesthetic and she had the COOLEST Demonias on and it was iconic. I just want to hang out with her and buy shitty clothing and listen to music that’s just way too much.

Ooh. Also. Greta really likes movies, and I offered to show her some Ghibli movies that I like! I am **nailing** this whole making friends thing. Halogen out.

March 21, 2021

I guess I’m calling myself Halogen in private now. I’m Holly.