Hero Blues

***Big Team Base Music Room - November 19th, 2018***

Angel laid on the futon in the music room as he lazily plucked away at his bass. Due to recent events, he was forced to move out of the Niccals estate and moved into the Big Base. Well, perhaps forced is a strong word. He knew his father would have allowed him to stay, but this was for the best. Jack Niccals, the villain Whitelight, was now aware that his son was the hero named Rescue. It was for the better that Angel moved out. Things would have been much too awkward if he hadn’t.

However, instead of moving into one of the empty rooms the base had for other members, he decided to take up residence in the Music Room. While it was not the best idea, it made him feel better. All he had left in his life was music now. He lost his family. Twice. And he lost his will to live. No doubt James Jonah was having a field day tarnishing his heroic reputation. It was all over.

*The hero Rescue is the son of Whitelight!*

*Can he be trusted?*

*Are **all** the “heroes” on the Big Team villains as well?*

*What will become of them?*

It was irritating. It was frustrating! And now, he’s alone. Just like before.

He could no longer focus on anything and his motivation was lost. His music no longer did anything for him and his side project was forgotten. For now. He hung a sign on the Music Room’s door that read Stay Out and another that replaced the usual Music Room with Rescue’s Room. And of course, it was locked. Despite being on base, he no longer felt the need to wear his costume. So instead, he lay there in pajamas and looked at the ceiling as he continued to pluck away.

“...Kill me.”

It had been a couple days since Saturday’s revelations. In that time, Rhiannon had been spending the vast majority of her time at either school or the Base. Each time she visited the Base she noticed the door- the door that usually led to the music room, but was now labeled ‘Rescue’s Room’. And the very bold sign saying to stay out.

For a while she was fine respecting his wishes to be left alone, but there was a feeling that stayed with her. That sense one gets when another soul is in pain nearby, and it wouldn’t go away. It only grew stronger each time she passed the door. So finally on Monday evening, Rhiannon got up the courage to try approaching it. She stood outside for a few moments nervously before raising a hand and knocking gently.

“Rescue...?”

Angel waited a few seconds before he sighed and shouted in response.

“No. Go away I’m busy.”

He wasn’t but he had to lie. He was not in the mood to talk or see anyone. Not right now. He sat up and grabbed his half eaten Pop-tart as he went to feed Khloe and Morene. He may be ignoring his own health and sanity by avoiding to eat or shower properly, but he’d be damned if he ignored Khloe’s or Morene’s health. No chance in hell.

Rhiannon paused and looked a bit lost at the response. Should she leave? But- she hadn’t seen this door open or Rescue leave this room since he’d moved in. It’s doubtful that he’s actually busy, right? And what if he’s really not okay… The sorceress frowned.

“Come on, Rescue. I’m sure you can make time for me in your busy schedule. Open the door.”

He froze up as he started to recognize the voice. He was still in a daze, but he knew now who it was. Morrigan. Or was it *The* Morrigan? Regardless, that was the last person he could talk to. After all, his own dad tried to kidnap her. So, yeah things may be a touch sore.

“Gosh. Uh, I wish I could, but,” he stuffed the rest of the poptart in his mouth as he went over to his bass once more and started to put it away.

“I’m just so busy these days now that I’m a villain. Gotta make a secret lair, get some henchmen. Who knows, I may even get a moat. That’s villainous right?”

Please let humor keep her away…

The humor was very amusing, but it still didn’t quite sound the same as usual. She crossed her arms and looked at the door. There was movement inside, but it didn’t seem like he was going to open it. With a sigh, some mysterious wind picked up around Rhiannon and motes of colored light swirled around her.

“Sounds like fun. Maybe I should become a villain with you, surely you’ll need help with all that.” There’s a small pause. “I hope you’re decent, by the way.”

The wind and lights swirl faster until Rhiannon disappears from outside the door- and reappears inside the room. Her glamor is down currently and her white hair whips around as the breeze begins to cease. Some autumn leaves skitter away from her across the floor. She simply stands there with her arms crossed, face slowly going from confident to sheepish as she realizes she *actually* just barged into his room.

Angel stared at her for a second while in his heart print short shorts and “That’s irrelephant” crop top before he finished putting away his bass. Right, magic. He’s not the only one who can do this stuff. God damnit now this was unavoidable. Fuck.

He continued in silence as he went back to lay on his futon and hid under the covers. Sure it was childish, but he was never good at confrontations. Of any sort. All he could do was hide and pray. Sort of.

“Sorry the person you are looking for is unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone. Beep.”

Rhiannon watched him finish what he was doing. He looked cute, in a mournful disheveled way. When he went to the futon and hid under the covers, she smiled and shook her head. Gwen used to do the same thing when she didn’t want to talk about something. Stepping carefully around some of the items strewn on the floor, she eventually reached the futon. There was a basket full of colorful knitting sitting on the end of the cushion and she gently moved it to a nearby platform before taking a seat next to the bundle of covers known as Rescue.

“Oh I see. Hopefully he gets back to me soon then…” She said to the ‘message’. “So is it everyone he doesn’t wish to see, or is it just- me?” The tone isn’t judgmental or meant to cause guilt. It’s friendly and genuinely curious.

Angel sighed and pulled the covers up tighter. God damn it..

“...Everyone. This person is tired and dead inside and also can’t deal with other people at the moment. Too busy...uh, wallowing? I guess?? Who knows really. Busy schedule like soooo busy.”

He wanted nothing more than to disappear. Talking with others was never really a strength of his. He was a bad luck charm. A curse. Something meant to be locked away and forgotten. Why can’t anyone else see that? Please, just go away..

He couldn’t see it, but Rescue’s response made Rhiannon sad. She hated seeing anyone in pain, and this was her friend. Her eyes fill slightly with tears, but her voice remains pleasant as she leans over and partly lays herself across the sad bundle. Not quite an embrace, but just attempting to be a comforting presence.

“Can’t deal with people, hm… What about- what about a friend? Maybe you don’t want it, maybe you don’t feel like you deserve it, but- I’m worried about my friend. He can always bring a smile to my face and he’s grown very important to me. Search too.” Rhiannon raised her head until she could spot the dog and smiled, then laid her head back down. “I would hate to lose track of him…”

Rescue groaned and flipped his covers over to cover Rhiannon in them, trying to trap her in a half cocoon of plush. Stubborn. Nice. Ugh!

“You really are not making it easy to wallow in self pity are you? I honestly haven’t been like this in a while and now I feel like all I am is a depressed mess. Right Khloe?”

He called for his dog and she immediately got up and jumped on top of the two friends and curled up. Friends... Acquaintances? That seemed more fitting nowadays. Best to keep everyone at arm's length even if they pushed. Well, not really, but it was what he was used to. Defense mechanisms didn’t have to be good. They just had to work.

He closed his eyes for a second before he threw his head back and groaned louder than before.

“Life sucks, Morrigan. Feelings suck. Everything suuuuucks.”

As she found herself partly cocooned in a surprise blanket attack, Rhiannon gave a little squeak. But she didn’t push the covers off yet. There was a bit of a grunt and a giggle as she felt Search jump up on them. Finally Rhiannon squirmed around until she could pop her head out slightly.

“Well I don’t really have anything against wallowing… But to be fair, I’ve let you wallow for a good two days or so. That counts for something right?” She smiles, but actually seems concerned about the answer. “And I know sometimes everything really does suck, but- then we can just find more things that don’t? I’m sorry, I’m really no good at this…”

Angel put his hands to his face and sighed. He was surprisingly full of air today. Or just very vocal about his frustrations. Either works.

“God you are so nice and sweet I feel like I’m getting cavities. Why? My dad literally tried to kidnap you and I saved him from Rekken’s attack. Like...ugh! And to make things worse the tabloids are out there slandering our names like it’s the next big thing which is always fun Cyclone is gonna have a headache for that. I have literally done nothing to deserve you being nice to me and yet you are whyyyy?”

And now he was rambling. This happened a lot when he was anxious and on the verge of panic. As much as he wanted to run and escape, he knew it would accomplish nothing. But...things suck.

Rhiannon looked down, seeming to contemplate. “I don’t agree with what he did, but- Your dad didn’t seem… bad? And who wouldn’t try to protect their dad. Hell, I took a punch for Cyclone that put me at odds with my own cousin for a while and he’s not even my dad. And don’t even get me started on Uncle Lance…” She gave a wry chuckle. “I’m not certain if any of that helps, but- you haven’t done anything wrong, Rescue. In fact, your intervention even allowed us to leave peacefully with the hostages in the end. Tabloids and news don’t matter. Cyclone welcomed you into the base, I want you around, and I know others care too. So tell me- why wouldn’t I be nice?”

Rhiannon smiled, a crow with bright blue eyes appearing on her shoulder. It tilted its head and gave a soft caw before hopping off and stopping next to Search curiously. Something about the crow was almost unnaturally soothing.

Angel stared at the ceiling in thought. Sure, it all made sense *logically*. But his emotions were too strong. Things can never be the same. Again. It was the only constant in his life and he almost wanted this to happen. The pain, the drama, the depression and anxiety. He was addicted. And he wanted it to stay that way for a bit longer.

He got off the futon and stretched before he went over to the desk he put into the Music Room the first time he outfitted it. He looked about and went over to the DJ equipment in the corner and started to set up. It didn’t seem to get much use outside of himself. To be frank, it seemed like he was the only one ever in here.

He stayed quiet as he worked while Khloe went over and walked with him. He refused to look back or answer Rhiannon. If he did, he was afraid that he would cry again. But this time, there was no mask to hide anything. He felt so...naked. Here he was as Angel Martinez-Niccals at his worst. And he hated it. Hated him. The answer?

Nothing.

Silence and nothing. His specialty.

The crow cawed again and flapped its wings to once more perch on Rhiannon’s shoulder as the other two got up and began moving around. She waited for a time but her smile slowly faded as the silence reigned until finally she just looked disappointed and a bit lost. A lot of help she was being… But how do you reach someone who doesn’t want you there?

“Do you really not want me to stay? I just- I just wanted to see you. Oh, and- I was wondering if you wanted to come to Thanksgiving with us? I’m still not sure the exact plans or who’s coming… But I don’t really have anywhere else to be, so celebrating with some of my second family sounded nice?” She wasn’t looking at him as she asked, absentmindedly stroking Macha on her shoulder.

“No, no I don’t mind you being here it’s just…” What was it? Was it something he was willing to admit? Or, would he hide again?

“I don’t- ugh, fucking. I don’t let people in. I have to be perfect. And I don’t want people to see me as anything else. If people come in, they see I’m everything that isn’t perfect and they get hurt. I get hurt. First Ian, then dad, and I’m sure Osito is just around the corner. I love him, but I just *know* it’s all gonna go to hell at some point. It always does…”

He let himself get lost in his thoughts as he continued to set up. God, what was he thinking? He barely knows her and is talking as if he always knew her. This...this wasn’t right. It can’t be right. No one wants to deal with him. But, she does. Why? Why is she trying to help him? He doesn’t deserve this..

“I’m bad luck, Morrigan. I don’t deserve to be happy or to celebrate with anyone else. The sooner people realised that the better. You’ll just get hurt in the end. Everyone will. And...I can’t let that happen. So, why not just wallow in self pity, am I right? God I don’t even know why I’m talking about this. Sometimes I wonder...maybe I should take a page out of my dad’s book and make a deal with the Horrorterrors. Maybe I can sell off my humanity or something so I don’t have to deal with life anymore. At least they’ll get a good use out of me. Maybe. I don’t know..”

Rhiannon listened quietly and waited for him to finish. Then she got to her feet and silently walked over. Gently but firmly, she put a hand on his arm and turned Rescue toward her before putting her other hand behind his head and pulling his face down against her shoulder. She kept one hand resting on his hair and slipped her other arm around him in a motherly hug as her eyes filled with tears again.

“You’re not bad luck, Rescue. Nobody is perfect, but everyone deserves to be happy… Letting people in hurts. Caring hurts. But we do it anyway because some people are *worth* it. We’re willing to accept the hurt so that we can enjoy everything else about them that we love.” Her voice drops to a vulnerable emotional whisper as she holds him a little tighter. “Nobody truly *wants* to be alone…”

Angel choked back tears and closed his eyes. This was so similar to ama before she passed. The soothing, the care, all of it. It felt like he was a kid again and he let this moment linger for what felt like an eternity. He missed this. He hugged her back and breathed deeply as his thoughts went back to his mom and family.

It was...what day was it? How old was he? 6? 10? It’s hard to tell, but he’s sure it was *día de la Virgen* because he remembers...a shrine. Singing. Warm tamales being made in their humble abode. It was small and had to fit nearly 20 people, but it was home. It was family. After prayers he decided to show off some magic for them since it always made them happy. Things were good. But, then they weren’t.

People were screaming, the house was falling, and his parents used themselves as a shield to protect him. Then, there was fire. And after that, nothing, He’s been alone ever since. Sure Jack was a good dad, but people only wanted to be friends to get close to Jack. Not Angel. Never Angel. Things were always bad. So why did he hope this was a sign of change? He feels….

“I don’t know what to feel, ama. Am I supposed to be happy? What’s that like anymore? If you tell me to be happy I’ll do it. I miss you so much. I miss you, y apa, y mi abuelita y abuelito y todo mi familia. Por favor, digame que puedo hacer para sentirme feliz. Por favor… (I miss you, and dad, and my grandma and grandpa and my whole family. Please, tell me what to do so I can feel happy. Please…)”

He could no longer hold it back. He cried, again. And this time felt like it would last forever.

Rhiannon wasn't sure how long they stood there like that but she didn't care either. She just held him. Her friend. Held him and stroked his hair gently, just like- just like Elise used to do when she was crying as a little girl.

She was startled when he started speaking and- called her ama? Was he actually speaking to her or…? Despite being rusty on her Spanish, she was able to pick out most of it. The tears slid down her face and she swayed side to side with him as he began to cry.

Rhiannon didn't want to trick him or pretend to be his mother, but when he asked so pleadingly she couldn't just *not* respond. So she gave the only answer she could think of-

“Déjanos entrar…”

Then just let him cry as long as he needed. Macha perched on Search nearby.

He cried for...much too long. He missed his family so much and this was just the breaking point. He quickly let go and turned back around and wiped his face as he laughed.

“God, look at me crying and asking my dead parents for advice in front of someone I barely know. Guess losing another family was too much to handle. Fuck. Jesus Angel, pull yourself together.”

Angel sniffled a bit and attempted to clear his head before he spoke up again.

“...Thanks. Sorry about everything though. I’m uh….not used to this.”

Rhiannon swiped at her own eyes as well when he turned away, but then brightened with interest. “Angel? Is that your name?” She smiled. “I think it fits.”

“And don't say sorry. There's nothing to be sorry for. We all need to have a good cry now and then, and sometimes it takes a little nudge. Also, you haven't truly lost another family… not yet. We just have to win them back! Now about that Thanksgiving…” Rhiannon's voice was cheerful, almost playful as she tried to help lighten the mood.

She walked over to a large case in a corner of the room and brought it to where he was setting up for the music. Laying it down, she unlatched the lid and opened it to reveal a beautiful, deep reddish-brown cello. Rhiannon lifted it out almost lovingly, but paused to look back and smile at Rescue. “Will you come celebrate with me? With us? I'll even let you mope a couple more days if needed.”

Angel rolled his eyes and chuckled to himself. He hasn’t felt this way since he first talked to…

“Sure. Why not. And yes, you can call me Angel. Angel Martinez-Niccals. Son of the most famous actor around, Jack Niccals. Who goes by Whitelight now and then. Would you be willing to help me make some food though? I still remember my abuelita’s tamale recipes and they are delicious. Would love to make them.”

He finished setting up and played a few tracks on his Midi. He had it custom made to match one of his favorite artists. The light mapping and sounds you could play on it are crazy. He never played with someone else before, but maybe it could be fun.

“Ya know, I have a song I’ve been working on for uh...someone special. It’s kinda cheesy and dumb, but I really wanna make original music rather than playing someone else’s work all the time. And this guy is- man, he’s the muse I’ve been looking for. He’s a hero, a friend, and I want him to know I love him and would be more than willing to go further. Maybe we could also work on that together? Hell, you know more than enough about me that it could work. Maybe. Never collabed before.”

Rhiannon's face practically lit up, a joyous smile splitting her face when he said yes. She was starting to think there was no way he'd agree to come.

“Oh I'd love to help you make something! I was thinking about trying a hand at baking myself too. Pies are usually popular right? Fair warning though, I'm usually banned from the kitchen at the house.” She chuckled. “Apparently I'm officially classified as a ‘natural disaster’ when it comes to cooking messes. But if you're willing to risk that, then let's do it!”

The sorceress finished pulling out the cello and bow, taking them over to a nearby chair and sitting down with the large instrument between her knees. She'd brought the instrument over as soon as she discovered the music room, but hadn't yet had much chance to play it. With a relaxed sigh she carefully began to tune it, deep resonant tones filling the room as Rescue fiddled with his Midi and made a second offer. Rhiannon finished tuning and tilted her head thoughtfully.

“I certainly wouldn't call myself a composer, but I'm more than willing to help where I can. Sounds like you've really found someone special indeed.” She grinned and looked genuinely pleased.

Angel's face flushed as he continued to fiddle about. She wasn't wrong. But, maybe he shouldn't tell her who he was. Not yet. Not till he admitted it to the boy in question.

“Yeah. He's...the first person I opened up to here. Osito. He's my big ol teddy bear..”

Well that failed.

“Ugh ok stop sorry I get like...ok so I'm a romantic and probably fall in love way too easily, but this is the first time I felt this way about anyone. Honestly, as long as he's happy, I'm happy. No matter what. As for the pies, I happen to be the best baker slash chef I know. As long as we don't overdo the sweetness and make the best crust ever, we can work it out. These things happen when you grow up Latino. You learn to do literally everything at a young age.”

He laughed to himself as he messed with some sounds and beats. Classy or poppy? Who cares. He'll figure it out eventually.

At the word 'osito’, there was a momentary flash of recognition in her eyes. Rhiannon kept grinning but didn't comment on who it might be. “Is that what osito means? Teddy bear? I like it. I've always had a soft spot for stuffed animals.”
She continued playing softly as they spoke. A melody with no particular direction.

“Love at first sight is a saying for a reason. Nobody knows when love is going to jump them. Falling fast doesn't mean it matters less.” There's a pause for emphasis. “So you know what you're doing in the kitchen then? Good! Thanksgiving may yet be saved.” The teen gave a little laugh at her own expense.

“Ok well *technically* it means little bear, but I always used it for teddy bear. Besides it makes sense. Teddy bears are small it works ok.”

He kept messing with tunes till he found something that *sounded* like it could harmonize with a cello. Damn he forgot how fun it was just bouncing music back and forth finding what works and what doesn't.

“And of course it's saved. We're heroes. It's what we do..”

Her music came to a sudden stop for a moment in surprise. If he looked up at her, Rescue would see Rhiannon joyously beaming at him. Macha was back on her shoulder and gave another little caw, blue eyes sparkling.

“Yes… yes it is.”