Loss (Kanon Fanfiction)

## About

This fanfiction centers around an anime series titled Kanon, and was written by Okaminarutofan999 on February 13th, 2017. So far there are three chapters, and the story is currently on hiatus due to writer's block.

## Synopsis

This story came to be due to the author's obsession with the Kanon series.

It follows the character arcs, but with much darker twists.
The idea for this story came from the author's disliking of the sudden miracle at the end that just ruined a lot of the emotional scenes that came before.
Instead of everything ending happily, there are many more permanent consequences.

## Characters

* Yuuichi Aizawa
* Ayu Tsukimiya
* Nayuki Minase
* Makoto Sawatari
* Mai Kawasumi
* Shiori Misaka
* Sayuri Kurata
* Akiko Minase
* Piro

## Plot

### Chapter 1 - Makoto's Arc

"You've been so... distant lately."
Nayuki would constantly say things such as this, even while knowing the many reasons as to why I had changed so much.

I thought that moving back to my hometown would be a relaxing and nostalgic experience. Even while being forced to wait for Nayuki to show up in the freezing cold snow, I was looking forward to seeing more of the town again, and to of course reunite with my cousin after several years.

I've always disliked the cold weather, but I was forced to get used to it as I walked to school every morning.
Here I met Mai and Sayuri, two complete opposite individuals who still managed to maintain a close bond and friendship.

I also met a strange girl with a small stature, named Ayu, who had too much of an obsession with taiyaki. While walking around with this odd girl, we ran into another individual named Shiori, who I would constantly see standing in front of the school.

And lastly, I was one day suddenly "attacked" by a complete stranger who claimed to have known me, only for her to soon pass out on the ground beside me.
I later found out that her name was Makoto, and she apparently suffered from severe memory loss, only managing to remember her name and the fact that she for some reason despised my very presence.

Although this girl's constant and sometimes even dangerous "pranks" annoyed me to no end, I still felt some sort of sympathy for this girl. She had no memory of anything, not even her family or home. It reminded me of how my own memories of this town were rather fuzzy. I occasionally remembered bits and pieces, but usually when Nayuki brought up a nostalgic memory, I could never recall it.
However, this girl was going through something much more severe than just that, as she had forgotten literally almost everything.
Thankfully for her, Akiko, Nayuki's mother, was kind enough to allow her to stay until she recovered her memories, but none of us knew when that would be.

In an effort to maybe help her recover at least some parts of her memory, I offered to take her around town, which she often grudgingly accepted, but not without mumbling something probably negative about me under her breath.
One day, we met a young looking cat, who we later named Piro. The cat for some reason took an automatic liking to Makoto, and the two of them soon became very close.

Me and Makoto were even starting to become closer, although I could tell Makoto was still somewhat cautious around me. She would still occasionally try those annoying pranks that always backfired in her face, but that habit of hers slowly faded away. Instead of thinking of the next dangerous situation to put me into, she would often ask me to read her various romance manga. I never understood the appeal to them, but I figured it was better than being her constant target of aggression.
Of course, there were some complications, as nothing can stay pleasant forever.

I started to notice Makoto's personality was beginning to change. She seemed more quiet and distant than usual. She was always kind of finicky around strangers, but around me, Nayuki, and Akiko, it was hard to get her to shut up sometimes. However, she had suddenly become rather quiet during dinner, which honestly took the three of us by surprise. She wouldn't start a conversation after she was done with her meal, she would instead just stand up, murmur an almost silent thank you, and walk slowly back to her room.

Thinking that something was wrong, I asked her if anything had happened, which she just simply shook her head in response to. However, her eyes didn't look very convincing. They looked.. somehow weak.
In fact, her entire body looked kind of frail. I assumed it was some kind of illness, and offered to bring her medicine for whatever symptoms she was potentially suffering from, but she just always quietly denied every offer.

The sudden change wasn't only concerning me, but also Nayuki and Akiko, who had grown fond of the random things Makoto would constantly bring up.
We all figured that her change was being caused by her unknown illness, and guessed that she would turn back to normal once she recovered. However, her physical state didn't seem to be improving in the slightest. If anything, it was getting worse.
She looked even more frail, and her eyes even more dull. I was becoming more and more concerned by the current situation, and insisted on taking her to the hospital. However, every time I even mentioned doctors her eyes would suddenly widen, and she would always practically beg me not to take her anywhere. I didn't want her condition to stay like this, or, even worse, deteriorate even further, but I didn't want to go against her wishes either.
As such, I let her be about the issue temporarily, and Nayuki and Akiko did the same. However, in exchange, we convinced her to at least take some medication. She always looked at the pills in disgust, but never openly refused to take them.

However, the pills didn't seem to make much of any difference. Even though she took each and every one we gave her, her condition was still somehow worsening.
She was forced to constantly lie down on her bed, and it was beyond obvious that she was suffering. She was constantly shaking, but from what I didn't know.
I was tired of just allowing her condition to do nothing but grow worse and worse as time went on, so I finally took a stand and almost forced her to go to the hospital.

I remember that night clearly.

I opened the door to her room, walking over to her frail figure with a look of pure determination. I stood over her body, noticing the changes in the color of her skin and eyes.
She had refused to eat or take any showers for the past couple days, which only worsened her appearance. Her hair was all messy, and her clothes were dirty from not being washed.
Although I was angry and my mind was racing, I still managed to speak to her in a mostly calm voice at first.
"Makoto.. You're not getting any better."
She didn't respond to me with words. She instead just subtly nodded. Even she was acknowledging her worsening state.

"Well.. in that case.. don't you think it's finally about time for you to go to the hospital?" As expected, at the very mention of the dreaded word that she feared so much, her eyes automatically widened, which was honestly the first real expression I had seen from her in quite some time.
However, even though her eyes betrayed her real thoughts and emotions, she just simply responded saying "There is no need for that."

I clenched my fist at her lie, but still managed to keep my calm composure. "Makoto.. you know that's not true.. your state is only getting worse.. don't you want to feel better?" Again, no response, just another subtle nod. However, the look of fear in her eyes was still clearly there.
"Then if you want to feel better, the hospital is probably the only option." I stated simply, only for her to shake her head.
"No.. Yuuichi.. I'll.. I'll recover on my own eventually, you'll see." She was saying everything she could to get out of this situation, but I could tell that she knew her own response was just false words to comfort not only me, but herself.
"No, you won't. It's beyond obvious that you won't even begin to recover without proper medical attention."
"Y-you're wrong.."
"Makoto, you need to go."
"N-no..."

I grabbed her hand, before gently trying to pull her out of the bed, signaling that I was not going to listen to any of her excuses this time.
Her grey eyes widened even further at this sudden and unexpected action, as she refused to even stand.
My eyes slightly narrowed at her resistance, as I began to pull harder, until she was eventually forced to stand due to my overpowering strength. Makoto was never a strong individual, but now she looked so weak that it seemed as if a little wind could make her fall over.

While still having a tight hold on her hand, I began to drag her out of the bedroom door.
Makoto then began to scream in protest, as she tried to loosen my grip by pulling in the opposite direction, but in vain. "STOP! STOP! LET ME GO!" She continued to scream, her words somewhat echoing around the small room. "No, Makoto. This is what you need."
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I NEED! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! LET GO!" I began to lose my temper at her constant and annoying resistance.
"Enough! You're going, and that's the end of it!"
Tears began to form in her eyes at my suddenly raised voice, as she once again attempted to struggle against my grip in silence.
I didn't say anything more, I just continued to drag her as best as I could with her constantly struggling behind me. Once we reached the stairs which led to the kitchen, she finally spoke. "Please.. Don't.." I looked behind me to see the tears now flowing down her cheeks, landing on the hard floor below.
All at once, a huge feeling of regret hit me, as I let go of her hand without thinking. However, instead of her automatically running back to her room and locking it, like I thought she would, she just automatically fell to the ground, crying loudly.
I looked down at her, the current situation not even feeling real anymore.
Makoto was a girl who always had a smile on her face. She was always laughing, and always had so much life in her eyes. This girl in front of me was like a completely different person. I barely even recognized her.

I slowly sat down beside her, the sound of her crying breaking my heart. I hesitatingly gave her a gentle hug to comfort her. Even though I was expecting her to push me away due to the events that just happened, she instead clung on to me tightly, crying onto my shoulder.
I gently patted her back, allowing her to let out all of those built-up negative emotions.

Nayuki and Akiko suddenly ran up to me, but quickly stopped once they saw the scene in front of them. With one look from me, they knew that the two of us should remain alone. They looked at each other in hesitation, not completely understanding the situation. However, the two of them didn't say a single word of protest, they instead just silently walked back to their rooms.

Makoto's cries slowly became weaker, until the tears stopped falling completely. I gently wiped the last remaining tears from her eyes, as she looked at me with a look of pure gratitude.

She didn't have to speak, as I could tell what she was thinking from just her expression. She didn't like me trying to force her to go to the hospital against her wishes, but she understood and respected my concern. She appreciated the fact that someone cared about her this much, but she just wanted to be allowed to make her own decisions. It was not right for me to force her into a situation that she was obviously terrified of.

"I'm sorry, Makoto", I apologized to her sincerely, as she nodded to show that she accepted the apology.
I helped her stand up, and walked her back to her bed, where she lied down with one of the very few smiles I had recently seen from her.
I looked into her dull and weak grey eyes, which still managed to somehow remain beautiful, before slowly walking out of the room.
"Yuuichi.." The sound of my name being gently called made me stop, as I once again looked behind me to see her still smiling brightly. "Thank you.." She murmured weakly, as I smiled back at her.

The next morning.. she was gone.
When I say gone, I mean that she had literally vanished without a trace.
No matter how much we searched, no matter how many times we yelled out her name, she never returned.
I never saw her again.

### Chapter 2 - Shiori's Arc

"Yuuichi... are you okay?" Shiori's concerned voice snapped me back to reality, as I looked at her eyes which showed how clearly worried she was.

"Y-yeah.. I'm fine.." I stammered despite my best efforts to not do so. As such, my response was not very convincing, and it was quite obvious that Shiori was not pleased by my answer, which was a clear lie.

"If anything's wrong, you know you can tell me, right?" She asked, before taking a bite out of the ice cream I had bought for her.

"Yeah, I know. I appreciate it, but I really am fine. It's just the cold is getting to me, still haven't gotten used to it, you know?" I responded, this time managing to sound more sincere, even though it was yet another lie.

Even though I knew that my words couldn't possibly fool Shiori, she instead just played along with it. "I see, you've always been sensitive to the cold." I could tell that this was a subtle hint that she respected my privacy, but the look in her eyes revealed that she didn't appreciate me lying to her.

I had been visiting Shiori a lot more than usual lately, after Makoto's sudden and unexplained disappearance.

She had a natural comforting presence to her, which I felt as if I was taking advantage of for my own selfish desires.

I was honestly not that big of a fan of her at first, as her rather odd personality kind of turned me off from talking to her more regularly. However, even back then, I had noticed her calming aura, but it wasn't until now that I had began to even attempt to properly socialize with her.

Although my intentions were less than sincere, I could tell that Shiori saw me as a true and close friend. However, I also knew from the start that she was hiding something from me. Whether it was the loneliness in her eyes, or the illness that she just shrugged off as nothing more than a common cold, I knew that there was more to her.. Something that she refused to admit.

I never pressured her about it, however, and in return, she never pressured me.

The lack of Makoto's presence as I woke up every morning broke me bit by bit, and I could tell it was taking its toll on Nayuki and Akiko as well.

The house just seemed so.. quiet and lonely without her. We had gotten so used to her randomly starting conversations, that every morning since that unfortunate day seemed dull.

A rather depressing atmosphere took over the whole place, making it painful to honestly just be inside the home that I used to look forward to returning to everyday.

I could tell it was the same for Nayuki as well, as she would often make excuses to not return home as soon as school was over. She would delay it as much as possible.

Akiko, on the other hand, stayed in her bed all day, looking as if she was reflecting back on the fun days we had lost.

Shiori's presence was honestly the only thing keeping me sane at that point. I knew it was wrong, I knew that it was a horrible and despicable thing to do to use her like that, but I was desperate.

I had just lost the one I loved.

I had no choice but to use Shiori's comforting presence to my advantage, as who knows what I would have done if I hadn't.

Shiori's innocent and naive personality honestly made me feel like I was the most horrible person on Earth, and for a while, I had convinced myself that I was.

Shiori thought that I was visiting her just because I saw her as a friend, which wasn't true. Or at least.. not at first.

After I eventually got used to her rather unique personality, I started to like her for more than just her calming presence.

I got used to her weird habit of eating ice cream in the freezing cold weather, and also the fact that she had an odd obsession with thinking of random drama scenarios due to her constantly watching shows in the genre.

The two of us started to visit each other more and more frequently as the days went by, and she eventually trusted me enough to show me her drawings, which was apparently a secret hobby for her. She definitely wasn't born with the talent, but I reassured her that she could improve with practice. Taking these words to heart, I would see her drawing often, and, sure enough, she improved a lot over time.

"Hey, Yuuichi?"

I looked over at Shiori. "Yes?"

"Why do you dislike the snow so much?" She asked, while playing with a ball of snow in her hands.

"Because it's cold." I answered simply.

"Well, I don't think it'd be any better if the snow was warm either."

"Eh.. true." I admitted, imagining walking through a field of warm snow. The thought wasn't exactly pleasant.

She giggled lightly, before looking back down at the snow she was carrying.

"I've always loved the snow. Ever since I was a little kid, I've wanted to build a huge snowman."

"You've never built one?"

"Not as big as I would like."

"How big would you want it to be?" I asked.

"Hmm.." She looked deep in thought. "About 10 meters tall."

My eyes widened in shock. "Y... You're kidding, right?"

She shook her head. "Nope. I know it's an odd thing to want, but I really would love to build a snowman that big."

"Uhh.." I was still dumbfounded.

She looked over at me with a large and innocent smile on her face. "Do you think you could help me build one? I could never do it by myself."

"I don't think the amount of people is the problem.." I answered.

"Yeah, I guess.." She replied, looking a bit disappointed, as if she expected me to help her with such an impossible task.

I sighed. "I can't promise it'll be 10 meters tall, but I can help you build a snowman one day."

Her eyes instantly brightened, and the smile returned on her face. "Really?"

I nodded. "But only when you're better, not before then."

The light in her eyes then quickly vanished, as it was replaced by a look of longing. Her smile somewhat faded, but not completely, as if she was forcing it to remain. "Yeah.. Alright."

I seriously didn't understand this girl.

"Yuuichi, school's over!" My cousin announced while standing in front of my desk. She always stated this, even when I knew very well what time it was.

"Yeah, I know." I replied, standing up.

Nayuki would probably be finding something else to do to pass the time, just to delay her returning home, as usual.

Most of the time I would join her, but today I had my own plans.

"Sorry, Nayuki, but I have my own thing to do today."

"Oh... Like what?" Her disappointment was instantly replaced by a look of curiosity.

"Nothing special." I responded, not wanting to go into details. I walked out of the classroom, leaving a confused Nayuki behind.

"Hey, Shiori." I greeted the always weak-looking girl in front of me.

"Hello, Yuuichi." She turned around to face me. She had a look of pure excitement on her face.

Yesterday I had promised to hang out with her the whole day after school the next day, and I could tell that this simple promise helped her fight against whatever dark and depressing thoughts that she tried her best to hide from me. For once she had something more to look forward to besides just the ice cream I would constantly buy for her.

Even though I told her before that I wanted to wait until her condition improved, she insisted on it being sooner rather than later. At that time, she had a look of seriousness that I had never seen on her before, and, not wanting to get into an argument, I hesitatingly agreed.

Shiori apparently wanted to take me to a specific place that she had never shown me before, and, to be honest, I was legitimately curious of what it could be.

She excitedly led me there, with her usual innocent smile. She kept the details of the place a secret from me, as she wanted it to be a "surprise".

Although, I probably wouldn't recognize it even if she did describe it. Even though it had been several weeks since I moved back into this town, I honestly only knew my way to a few places, that being the nearest store, school, and, of course, my home.

She then suddenly stopped, while looking at the area around her with a look of pure nostalgia. I wasn't able to catch on as quickly as her, but I soon realized that this was where me and her first met.

While dodging a sudden attack "hug" from Ayu, it led to her hitting a tree behind me and knocking snow all over Shiori.

We helped her pick up her dropped groceries, and I figured that I would never see her again. However, little did I know that she often stood outside of the school every single day.

Shiori then looked over at me. "Do you remember this place?"

I nodded in response.

"That day is one of my most treasured memories.." She murmured softly, looking down at the snow with a very faint smile still remaining.

"Really? It doesn't seem like it was long enough ago to be a treasured memory of all things."

The somewhat serious glance she directed at me made me automatically think I may have said the wrong thing.

"Time doesn't matter with memories." She stated simply. "All that matters is that the event had a large impact on you.. which it did." It seemed as if she hesitated to say the last part of her sentence.

"I see, I guess I can understand." I responded, still not quite seeing how such an event could have a large impact on her.

After adjusting her shawl, she continued to walk down the snowy path, and I of course followed.

"We're here!" She announced while panting slightly, as I walked up from behind her with my legs aching slightly from the rather long walk in the snow.

The area was a rather large and empty snow-covered landscape, the only thing really there being a large fountain in the middle.

"This may not seem like much, but it's actually a park." Shiori sat down on the fountain, sighing in exhaustion.

I sat down beside her, surprised that an empty place like this could even be considered a park. It was hard to imagine it getting many visitors.

After she caught her breath, Shiori continued to speak. "I was thinking we could build our snowman here."

"Well, there's definitely enough snow to use."

Her face beamed from pure excitement, before she stood up again, looking down at me.

"Hey, Yuuichi?"

I looked up at her. "Yes?"

"Do you like snowball fights?"

"I remember having one with Nayuki a long time back, but I didn't like it because of the cold, so I probably won't like it now."

"Aw.." Her tone betrayed her disappointment.

"What, did you want to have one?"

"Well, like you said, there's definitely enough snow. I wouldn't mind it, since I've never actually had one before."

"Really?" I asked, somewhat surprised. I thought that with her love of snow, she'd have convinced at least one person to have a snowball fight with her.

She nodded, bending down and picking up some snow in her bare hands.

I never understood Shiori's apparent immunity to the cold. The only thing she wore that somewhat warmed her was her shawl, and she loved to eat ice cream no matter the weather, and now she was picking up snow without gloves. I was surprised at how little she cared about her health. It was as if she never wanted her cold to get better.

While somewhat going off into my own little world of thoughts, I didn't notice that Shiori had walked a bit away from me until she called my name.

As I looked up, I noticed a snowball flying my way, and, not having enough time to dodge, was hit right in the face.

Shiori laughed at my face of annoyance, and, determined to get payback, I made my own ball of snow and threw it at her, but she easily avoided it.

Before I even realized it, we had our own little innocent snowball fight, and Shiori looked like she was having the time of her life.

While sitting down and taking a break, Shiori suddenly asked, "Hey, Yuuichi, can I put rocks in the snowballs next time?"

"What? Of course not!"

"Aww.. Why?" It seemed as if she ACTUALLY wanted to do that.

"I think the reason should be obvious.."

"But it makes things more exciting!" She responded, completely ignoring the obvious fact that it was dangerous.

"I'd rather be safe than be excited." I replied simply, noting that I would have to keep a close eye on her to make sure that she didn't do her plan.

"Mm.. That's no fun."

"It wouldn't be fun if I got hit." Which I probably would be, since I was apparently either really bad at avoiding them, or Shiori was amazingly good at aiming even though this was her first time.

"I guess not." She still had a hint of disappointment in her voice, which I did nothing but sigh in response to.

For the rest of the day, we continued to have snowball fights, and then we finally built a snowman. Of course, it was nowhere near 10 meters tall, but it was still enough to make Shiori the happiest I had ever seen her. It was as if her life had been completely fulfilled at that moment, even though this was such a simple thing.

Before we knew it, the sun had almost completely set, but I didn't want to go home yet. I was very hungry from not eating anything all day besides lunch at school, and Shiori most likely was too, but we didn't want to walk back to town to get something to eat. I wanted to stay here with her, and I could tell she felt the same by the look she gave me.

We sat beside each other on the fountain in silence, before Shiori suddenly spoke, "Thanks for today."

I nodded in response, as Shiori looked behind her to see the water flowing down the fountain. "I hope we can do this again." I looked towards her. "We will." I responded.

Shiori gave me a look of gratitude, a similar look that Makoto gave me..

"There's.. something that I've been keeping from you for a while now.." Her voice instantly lowered into a way more serious tone, and I felt as if I could hear a hint of sadness from her too.

"My sickness.. isn't just a cold.." I honestly figured it was something else, but before I could respond, she continued to say something else that seemed completely random and out-of-place at first.

"My birthday.. it's tomorrow.." She then paused slightly, before seeming to have to force herself to speak. "I most likely won't live after that.." She said these words so softly that I could hardly hear her.

My eyes instantly widened, but I couldn't manage to speak. Hundreds of thoughts were swarming around in my mind, but the biggest question was what this illness actually was.

As if she read my mind, she continued. "The name of the illness is long and complicated, so I honestly forgot it. But.. it wouldn't matter if I remembered it anyway.." Her voice was somewhat shaky, as if she was holding back tears.

"S-Shiori.." I finally managed to only stutter out her name, as she looked at me with a look of pure sadness.

"I.. I'm sorry.. you must be regretting talking to me now.. and getting this close to me.." I shook my head. "No.. I don't regret it at all.." She looked at me in surprise, before looking back down. "It's okay.. you don't have to lie.." It was as if she refused to accept my words as the truth.

"No.. Shiori.. I.. I've had so much fun with you these past few weeks.. I could never regret those times.." While seeming to be somewhat comforted by my words, she then responded saying "Well.. it doesn't matter now.. because you'll most likely want nothing to do with me anymore.."

"Shiori.. I won't leave you for this.." The next words came out of my mouth without me even thinking. "I could never just leave the girl I love.." My eyes instantly widened at my own words, as Shiori's did the same. She looked at me in pure shock, as I could then see tears forming in her eyes.

"I.. I love you too Yuuichi.." I couldn't manage to say or do anything at this unexpected response. I didn't understand it at first, but after thinking about it, I realized that what I said was true. I did love her, and not just because of her comforting presence. I loved everything about her, ranging from her beautiful yet frail appearance, to her odd yet charming personality and quirks.

I wanted to stay with her. No matter what.

"I.. I honestly didn't want to get that close to you.. as I knew the truth would only hurt you if I did.. but I just couldn't resist talking to you.. and.. before I knew it.. I fell for you.." She continued to fight against her tears. "I'm.. so grateful that you feel the same.. but then again.. it also hurts.. it really really hurts.."

I finally managed to hold her hand in an attempt to comfort her, but she instead gave me a very tight hug in response.

"I love you Yuuichi.. so much.." I wrapped my arms around her. "I do too..." The both of us held each other in silence, as we were both trying to hold back our own tears.

"S-Shiori.." I then broke the silence, and the hug, as she looked at me, still teary-eyed.

"Is.. there really nothing that can be done..?"

She looked down at the snowy ground briefly. "A miracle could save me.." She then turned her head towards me once again with a forced smile. "But.. miracles are called miracles because they never happen.."

I couldn't accept the fact that this is how it had to be.. I couldn't accept that the world was this cruel.. Someone like her didn't deserve this.. She did nothing wrong.. So why..?

"I.. I will stay with you.. I promise.. tomorrow's your birthday, right? I'll be sure to get you a present.."

This time, the smile on her face seemed sincere, but there was still the intense feeling of longing in her eyes.

"Thank you.. so much.."

As I nodded in response, Shiori seemed to hesitate in calling my name. "Hey, Yuuichi..?"

The moment I looked towards her, her lips met with mine. Her lips were so soft and warm..

Even as our lips separated, I could still sense the feeling of her lips against mine. I automatically knew that this would be one of my most treasured memories.

Shiori was right.

Time didn't matter with memories..

I promised to meet with her at the fountain again the next day, and promised to also get her a present that she would love.

That night, as I returned home, refusing to tell Nayuki and Akiko about what happened, I lied down in my bed. I thought that I wouldn't be able to sleep, but I passed out almost immediately after, my mind and body both equally exhausted.

I dreamed about Shiori. I dreamed about her beautiful smile, her adorable laugh, and the life that we could have had.. I remember waking up crying..

I spent the whole next day after school looking around for a suitable present for her, and finally decided on an artbook. The moment I looked at it, I was reminded of how much her art had improved, and how she had almost ran out of space while practicing so much. As a result, I knew that she would love to have another one.

By the time I exited the store, the sun was already setting. I hurriedly ran to the park where I knew Shiori was waiting, ignoring the odd looks I got from strangers.

I was going to spend the whole rest of the day and night with her.. The last day I would ever see her..

I was determined to make her last day the happiest it could possibly be. I'd do anything she wanted, whether it was building another snowman, having another snowball fight, it didn't matter. She deserved to be happy.

As I entered the park, I called out her name, and there she was, lying down on the fountain's edge, with a weak smile on her face.

"Hey.. Yuuichi.."

"Shiori!" I ran up to her, lying the artbook down beside me. "Are you okay?"

"I.. I'm fine.. just a bit tired.." She tried to reassure me, but I wasn't convinced. She looked weaker than ever. I questioned how she even managed to walk here.

"You overdid it Shiori.."

"But.. we promised.."

I then paused slightly, before nodding. "Yeah.. you're right.. we promised.."

Shiori managed to sit up, but she needed the support of my shoulder to do so.

Seeing her condition deteriorate.. It reminded me too much of Makoto's own state.. It felt like my heart was breaking all over again..

"H-here Shiori.. I got you a present.. like I said I would.." I handed her the artbook, which she weakly held onto.

"Thank you.. so much Yuuichi.. I love it.." She gave me yet another weak smile which continued to shatter my very heart and soul.

For the rest of the day and most of the night, we just sat with each other in silence, hand-in-hand. This wasn't how I wanted to spend her last day together, but I could tell by her expression that she was perfectly content with this.

As the night passed, I noticed that Shiori was becoming weaker and weaker, and she even seemed to be in pain.

"Yuuichi..?" She broke the silence with her weak-sounding voice, as I looked over at her.

"Can you.. lie me down..?"

I was prepared to lie her down on the fountain, but she shook her head.

"I want to lie down on the snow.."

"Why..?" I asked in confusion.

"Because I feel hot.. I'm burning up.."

I thought that just the cold air would be enough to cool her off, but, not wanting to refuse, I did as she wished.

She smiled once more at the snow surrounding her, before once again showing me a look of gratitude.

"Thank you again.. for everything.."

"It's no problem at all.."

"You know.. I.. I wanted to have more snowball fights with you.. I wanted to build another snowman.. and I.. I wanted to stay with you.. forever.."

"Shiori.."

"I've always tried to stay strong through these hard times.. even when it seemed impossible.. I always tried to smile no matter what.. did I.. succeed in always smiling..?"

I nodded, while tears began to form in my eyes. I didn't want the inevitable to happen.. I begged for time to stop.. But time was still continuing, like nothing was happening.. Like a life was not about to be lost..

Shiori weakly wiped away the tears that fell from my eyes, before looking up at the dark night sky.

"Yuuichi.. I.. I don't want to die.."

These few words were enough to make the tears start streaming down my face, and Shiori herself was finding it hard to fight back her own tears.

"Shiori.. you don't have to fight back those tears anymore.. it's okay.."

At these words, the tears instantly began to fall. The first and last time I would see her cry..

"I don't want to die.. but.. even if I do.. I'll always love you.."

"I'll always love you too.."

I held her pale and weak hands with my own, before giving her one last kiss on the cheek.

"Is.. is there still a chance for that miracle to happen..?" I asked her desperately.

"It already has.."

"W-what do you mean..?"

"I met you.."

She gave me one last smile.. and then she stopped breathing..

"I love you.."

### Chapter 3 - Mai's Arc

"Hey, Yuuichi?" Mai called out in a more expressive tone than usual as we watched the blades of grass flutter in a gust of wind.

"Hm?" I turned to the girl, now wearing a more concerned look on her face.

"Are you… really leaving tomorrow?"

I slightly hesitated before slowly nodding as I looked down to the creases of my shoes. Noticing the expression on her face sink even more I tried to find the right words to reassure her.

"B-but don't worry… We'll see each other again."

Mai perked up at this, lifting her head from her hands to meet my eyes.
"Really?"

"Yeah, don't worry. I'm sure my cousin will be begging me to come back anyway." I added an uncertain laugh to my statement.

"When?" Mai got closer to me, making my answer seeming less confident.

"Uhm.. Well, I'm not really sure." I redirected my gaze back to the field.

"Oh…" Mai cradled her head in her hands again.

I didn't want to leave her either, or my cousin and Ayu, who over the summer break I had become very close to. However, I had no say in the matter. I was still only a child after all. I found solace only in the fact that I would indeed return one day, but so many things could change with the passing of each season.

If it was several years later, would Mai and Ayu even remember me? Would they move on and find new friends? I wanted them to be happy, but I also didn't want to lose these moments. I wished I could stay here forever, frozen in time, like in some TV drama.

The next day, I was packed and ready to get on the train home. I'd already said my goodbyes to Mai and Nayuki. Then I remembered Ayu, who was probably waiting on that bench at the train station again.

As I prepared to head out the door, the phone started to ring.

When I went over to pick up the phone, I almost answered with my own surname.
"Minase residence… Mai? Is everything alright?"

The girl frantically screamed out for help, startling me, as she was usually so reserved.
"YUUICHI! YOU HAVE TO COME QUICK!"

"W-what do you mean?" I asked, still at a loss for words.

"DEMONS ARE COMING! THEY'RE IN THE FIELD!"

"Demons? What's this about?" I finally said.

"YOU HAVE TO HURRY!"

I never expected Mai to go so far to get me to stay in town. I felt bad that I couldn't be there for her all year, but it wasn't my choice. I only had time to meet up with Ayu and get on the train. I had no time for detours.

"Sorry Mai… You know I'll be back again. We'll play again. But I have to go home now." I tried my best to reassure the girl that this wasn't our final goodbye.

"NO YUUICHI, YOU HAVE TO COME NOW!"

Her persistence was starting to annoy me. Did she actually believe in demons? I shook my head to clear my thoughts. There's no way she was being serious.

I let out a low sigh before answering. "I'm sorry, but I really can't."

"Yuuichi…" I could tell she was tearing up on the other side. It was clearly a genuine cry for help.

"I'm sad about leaving too… But I promise I'll come back."

"I'll… I'll wait for you!" Mai raised her voice again. "Please keep that promise!"

I nodded, even though I knew she couldn't see the gesture. "I will."

I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, almost falling out of bed. After regaining my composure, I realized I remembered everything with Mai that happened seven years ago.

When I returned to my hometown, I dismissed Mai as eccentric and antisocial, and honestly didn't want anything to do with her. However, after running into her at school one night, I saw her standing guard in the middle of a moonlit corridor, sword in hand. She said she was "hunting demons". Naturally this intrigued me, even though I had trouble believing her.
I visited her every night that I could, often bringing food from the convenience store to get her to talk more about why she was there. Unfortunately, Mai wasn't one for talking. If I did get a response it was usually short and blunt.

One particular night, Mai focused her eyes on the dark corridor to our left. I couldn't see a thing, but Mai picked up her sword and readied herself in a defensive stance. I noticed a faint silhouette in the distance. Before I could say anything, Mai ran towards it, cutting through the rays of moonlight seeping through the windows, though I could tell there was actually something there even if I couldn't see it.

The fight appeared to be over, Mai taking a moment to catch her breath. However, I noticed another figure moving in from behind. "Mai!" I instinctively cried out. She wasted no time, turning to face her foe. I heard an ear piercing screech as the figure retreated back into the safety of the shadows. My eyes went wide. Any doubts I had about these demons completely vanished.

But for some reason, I wasn't afraid so much as I was fascinated by the encounter. This only raised more questions I had about this girl. Who exactly is Mai?

Typically, Mai refused to go into details. She only made me promise not to tell Sayuri, her closest and only friend at school.

Sayuri was a very kind and polite girl, a third year like Mai. She'd often invite me to eat lunch with her and Mai at the top of a stairwell, a place the two retreated to after Mai picked up a bad reputation. Sayuri told me that most people didn't trust Mai, as she often came off to others as hostile and was rumored to have broken windows in the school before. I questioned why Sayuri even became friends with her if she knew these things, only for her to simply reply that she saw a bit of herself in Mai, although I didn't entirely understand seeing as the two had such different personalities. I couldn't understand how the two of them managed to get along so well.

A few days later, Sayuri said she wanted to meet me after school. I waited at the gate for her. When she arrived she told me about Mai's birthday being the next day, and that she wanted to enlist my help to find the perfect gift for her. After browsing around a store with all sorts of odds and ins, I decided to buy a somewhat ugly giant anteater plush after learning from the elderly shopkeeper that it had been on the shelf for years without anyone taking any interest in it. I couldn't imagine Mai liking it, but Sayuri reassured me that Mai had a soft spot for things like that and that it wouldn't be a waste.

As we walked around town, Sayuri brought up that she had noticed Mai entering the school at night. Intent on keeping my promise I acted surprised when she said this.

That night, I walked to school as usual to visit Mai again, who much to my surprise wasn't in the corridor we often met at. I called out her name several times, wandering aimlessly through the shadows of the unsettling barren halls. As I was starting to give up hope, I noticed her standing in front of the girls' bathroom. I ran up to greet her, though she still didn't turn to acknowledge my presence. At first I thought she had perhaps encountered another demon, but then she suddenly collapsed on the tiled floor, dropping her sword. As I got a closer look I noticed she was trembling and seemed out of breath.

I tried asking her what was wrong, though I cut myself off as I caught a glimpse of something in the corner of my eye..

Peering into the bathroom, what I saw next had me on the verge of screaming out in terror, though I held it back as to not alarm Mai.

Sayuri's body was lying on the bathroom floor, her and the anteater plush enveloped in a large pool of blood. I ran up to her motionless figure, trying to deny any possibility that she was dead.
Mai's echoing scream, however, snapped me back into the harsh reality that was right in front of me.

I instinctively turned to the source of the sound, my eyes widening as I noticed her arms moving the blade of the sword up to touch the pale skin on her neck. Knowing very well what she intended to do, I yelled out her name as I moved in and tossed the sword away from her.
I scolded Mai for her actions. I wanted to stop myself from hurting her even more, but before I could, Mai buried her face on my shoulder, trying in vain to control her tears. I felt powerless. I had no idea what to do in this situation, and honestly I couldn't even think clearly since so many things were happening at once.

When we eventually admitted her to the hospital, judging by the look on her face, I could tell she'd already given up hope. My mind accepted this too, but the announcement of Sayuri's death sent a sharp pain through me. Mai was inconsolable, but I kept trying to ease her pain to remind her that she wasn't alone in this. I was overwhelmed with grief too, but I couldn't even begin to imagine what Mai was going through. She'd just lost her first and only true friend.

I then had a serious talk to Mai about the demons, practically begging her not to fight them anymore, since we already unfortunately experienced what they were capable of. Mai was very hesitant at first, and as usual, she didn't actually say anything in response, she just did a subtle nod in acknowledgment, which would have to be enough to convince me.

However, it wasn't. I knew that she wasn't the type to give up so easily, especially not when her only friend was gone. At first, Mai seemed to have little motivation in fighting, seeming to do it only out of necessity. But now, this battle was personal.

Sensing she might be there again, I rushed out the door, not even caring if I woke anyone. I forced my legs to move as fast as they possibly could before reaching the school's gate.
"Mai!" I called out her name, noting how familiar this felt. Once again, I didn't see her in the usual corridor, but I had a feeling she was somewhere roaming the halls, likely taking the fight directly to the demons. Searching each floor, I heard the familiar ear piercing screech of one of the demons. Following the sound, there I found Mai standing in the middle of the hall.
Before I could say a word she lost consciousness and collapsed to the ground.

I ran up to her in concern, relieved that she didn't appear to be hurt. From what I could gather it was likely just from exhaustion.

"Mai…" The tone of my voice shifted to a whisper. I picked her up and carried her to the nearest classroom to avoid any more trouble. How long had she been fighting them? As I sat her down at one of the desks, I noticed the atmosphere of the school seemed different somehow. It no longer felt as if I was constantly being watched from the shadows. It felt more like it did during the day, just without all the people. Did this mean she actually defeated them? I glanced down at her, stroking my fingers through the strands of her silk like hair.

However comforting this thought might be, the silence of the room save the sound of us breathing was quite unsettling, so much so that it sent chills down my spine. Thankfully, Mai broke the silence as she started to regain consciousness. Remembering why she was there, her tired demeanor quickly shifted to a more determined one as she reached for her sword, ready to run back to the hallway without even noticing me.

I grabbed her by the arm before she could get too far, her eyes narrowing as she met my gaze. Even though she never showed much emotion, whenever I looked at Mai, I noticed her vibrant eyes, always glistering with a sense of hope, almost as if she was waiting for someone to free her of her burden. I didn't notice any sign of life this time, a distant stare going right through me.
Fighting those demons for so long must have finally taken its toll on the poor girl, but she finally found a reason to finish the job, not only for her sake or the schools, but for the best friend she ever had the privilege of knowing. Knowing this, I couldn't stay angry at her for long.

"Mai… It's over. They're gone now." I tried to maintain a calm tone as Mai's eyes continued to dart back and forth in clear disbelief. Mai slowly lowered her sword as I gently released her arm from my grip. For awhile, she just stood there, not saying a word.

Just as I was about to continue talking, she began walking towards one of the windows, the closest to the corner of the classroom. This scene was almost identical to when we first met, as she lifted her head up to gaze at the stars in the beautiful night sky.
I noticed the expression on her face slightly changing, finally coming to terms with her burden being lifted at last. I could tell that she was still in a great deal of pain, remembering that despite it being over, she would never get her best friend back.

"M-Mai." I finally managed to cut through the silence. "I- I don't care about the promise anymore. They're gone now, and that's all that matters."
"… I was too late…" Mai bluntly replied, her eyes fixed on the floor. I immediately regretted saying anything, but I felt compelled to help her through this.

"Well.. I'm sure she's happy that you did this for her."

To my words, she just simply slowly shook her head in response. I didn't want to pressure her to say anything more, but I didn't know what else to tell her. I had never been known as the comforting type.

"Mai… I… I know you feel alone right now, but trust me, you never were. Cherish her memories, but please, don't dwell on the past, it'll only bring you more suffering. I can't promise you a miracle, but I know you're strong. I think she'd want to see you smile again, to keep the friends you still have close…"

"I did." Mai replied with more emotion than in her typical monotone. "I… I clung to Sayuri… Because I loved her… But I relied on her presence, her comforting laugh, her reassurance… far too much… And now, she's gone…" She turned to the window again, revealing her tears in the moonlight. "I'm lost…"

"N-no Mai, you're not. I'll always be here for you." Mai turned her eyes slightly in my direction, responding in a somewhat spiteful tone. "You remind me too much of an old friend…" Her words struck a nerve in me as I tried to find the right response.

"I.. I did know you.. seven years ago.." At this reply, Mai looked towards me in shock, but not in disbelief.

"We used to play in the fields together… but summer vacation was ending… before I left, you called me, saying demons were attacking the fields. I honestly didn't believe you then… I'm sorry… It took me so long to remember…" All Mai could do was stand there speechless as I kept going. "I'm not leaving you again… I promise…"

Mai at first just continued to stare at me in silence, as if trying to somehow find out if my words were truly sincere. She then slowly looked away, before speaking. "Don't make a promise that you can't keep.."
"But I will keep it…" I only had one chance to convince her, so I chose my words carefully.
Without a moment of hesitation Mai firmly shook her head. "No." Seeing that I was about to respond she cut me off. "Sayuri… she promised the same thing… to never leave me… but she did…"

"B-but… it wasn't her fault, Mai…"

"You're right…" She paused and looked me in the eye again. "… it's mine…" Her glare shifted back to the floor.

My eyes went wide at her claim. "No Mai, it's not your fault either…"

"You don't understand Yuuichi… I loved her… so much… and yet, I failed to save her…"

I shook my head. "No… no, I understand. I've… lost two people that were very close to me… and both times I couldn't do anything to help them… I'd never felt so powerless before in my entire life…" Trying to help Mai, I opened one of my own wounds in the process, but I was convinced that this was the only way I could help her. She gave me a brief glance of pure sympathy, before her eyes regained that same cold look.

"I'm sorry…" She said in the sincerest tone I've ever heard from her.

"It's fine, don't worry." I started moving towards her. "You just… have to stay strong… like I said… I won't leave you…"

Mai slightly backed away. "I'm sorry.. but I can't believe that.." I could tell that this loss had made every last bit of hope that she had so desperately been clinging on to just vanish.
"I understand your doubts… but Mai, the demons are gone, right? You don't have to worry about them anymore. You can finally live your life as a normal student, with me by your side. We could go eat somewhere, study together, or go anywhere you want!" My emotions started getting the best of me. Mai finally looked back up through the tears forming in her eyes.

My words failed to reach her. To her, this was the end, and her tears symbolized that clearly. She had completely given up, her faltering voice emphasizing this even more. "I appreciate those offers… but… I don't want to do those things without Sayuri… I… I don't want to live without her by my side…"

She forced a smile through her tears. "I want to see her face… hear her laugh… and just be with her again… even if it's only for one last time…"

"Mai…" My mind raced to find the right words, but I could only manage to say her name. I wanted to help her, but I cut myself off before I said something wrong.

"Yuuichi.. I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.."

Mai held up her sword, blade facing her stomach. I cried out her name, pleading her not to do it, as I rushed towards her. However, by the time my hand reached out for her arms it was already too late.
Mai had already impaled herself, her face wincing at the unbearable amount of pain that must've shot through her body. She stepped back, marveling at the sight of her own blood glistering on the blade before falling to the floor below.

I ran up to her convulsing body in a panic. I couldn't put my thoughts together in such a stressful situation. All I could do was watch her agony as her life slowly slipped away from her.

I moved back as her blood started to spread across the tiles, Mai now gasping for air through the thick layer of blood forming in the back of her throat. I tried to look away, but my eyes were fixed on her the entire time.

Her mouth was hung wide open, as if she was about to scream, though she only managed to emit a faint whimper.

Once again, I found myself unable to do anything as I thought of Makoto and Shiori. No matter how much pain Mai was going through, I could tell that she didn't regret her decision. The hope in her eyes had returned.

As time passed, her convulsions became weaker and her body went limp. And at last, she lost consciousness, signaling the end of her struggle that seemed to drag on for hours.

After being fixed to the floor out of shock, I found myself able to move my body again. But it was too late…

Once again, I failed to help someone I cared so deeply about… I was losing myself in a dream again… I was convinced that this was all a dream, that I'd wake up tomorrow and go to school, finding Mai and Sayuri at the top of the stairwell again, the latter girl giving me a hearty grin as she passed me a bento. But it would take a miracle to make those memories reality again, a miracle I'd stopped believing in a long time ago.

I prayed that Mai, wherever she was, had been reunited with the one she so deeply loved…