Ronald

*This page describes a being.*

Image of Ronald.

### Aliases

The Boy in Green, Dan, Emperor Heinrich the Chivalrous, Fart Feller, Frankie Boy, John, Johnald, Lil' Goofy Gerber Baby Piss Slut, xX\_MatarielGurl\_Xx, Mr Okemon, Old Granny Beth, Patrick Bateman, The Ron, Ronald, Ronald McDonald, Rontle, Sir Cum Decision, Spencer, Sussy Suspect™

### Occupation

Irishman, Guitarist (Former), Man, Russian Book Collector, Spice Bagger, Supreme Zaddy

### Skills

Sauce Goat

**Ronald** is an Irish being who is quite fond of spice bags. He extensively collects Russian books, which he is unable to read. When he eats spice bags he jiggles, and he is the only known Irish person to be able to eat *too much* spice bag. Though he is a very bright individual indeed, he can be hard to communicate with due to a condition where he stops listening mid-sentence and thinks about the war.

## History

### Discovery

In early February of 1953, Ronald was ashore Inishsirrer, an island off the coast of County Donegal, Ireland. He slipped into the water and began to blankly float up the Irish coast. Eventually, after thirty hours, Ronald noticed he was no longer floating. He was in Letterkenny. Soaking wet, he stood up and began wandering the streets, his soggy clown shoes flopping against the concrete. He asked random passerby where he could find a spice bag, and eventually obtained one from a local Chinese restaurant.

On a visit to McDonald's in Letterkenny, McDonald found a wet Ronald eating a spice bag next to the dumpster behind the McDonald's. Eventually, McDonald would become Ronald's mentor and they shared a close bond. Ronald would hold a high position within McDonald's.

#### Modern Ronald begins.

During the 60s and early 70s he played with the Spicebag Tractors. In 1973, he co-led Operation Slim Chicken with McDonald.

### Post-Chicken

In 1997, Rongle suffered from a coma lasting for almost two years. This would become known as the Bad Bag Incident.

#### The Allegations

In early December of a specific super secret unspecified non-specific year, Ronald was accused of not being one person, but actually 3 different old men and 1 granny. Ronald has not confirmed or denied these allegations.

## Ronning

Ronald maintains an energy level measured in 0-100% Ron level. On average, Ronginald will maintain a 13% or above Ron level. If it falls too low an event may occur. At the time of the Brown Burger Incident, Ronald's Ron level was estimated to be around 9%. Throughout the course of the Bad Bag Incident, his levels are calculated to be as low as 4.5%, far too low to maintain normal Ronald activities. At exactly 4am daily, Ronlat's Ron level reaches a peak. During this time, known as the Ronning Hour, Ronald will turn off all sources of light in his room, stare blankly at nothing, and partake in Ronning.

Actions that Ronald does to raise his Ron levels are:

* Being an annoying little Irishman weener.
* Eating a spicy bag.
* Listening to Irish folk music and country music.
* Reading a Russian book.
* Looking at a Russian book.
* Thinking about Russian books.
* Remembering Russian books are a thing.
* Buying Russian books.
* Ronning.

Ronald also has his own spiritual wellbeing online store, Ronning.

## Quotes

* *"what in the mcfuck"*
* *"Dick is good"*
* *"Ke whn fahdwu"*
* *"can my Peter be Cold Ham Peter?"*
* *"What the fuck is a domino?"*
* *"but a russian book cant be properly enjoyed without a russian book in hand. they go together like bread and another slice of bread, to make a sandwich"*
* *"YOU FUCKINNNN CRACKA"*
* *"Piss is a sexual thing for me :3"*
* *"https://tenor.com/view/falling-old-lady-dead-gif-14971117"*
* *"pro tip: dont order a chicken wrap with sweet chili sauce, big 7.5oz burger and 7 cookies from supermacs unless you want horrible stomach pain and diarrhoea"*
* *"those youtube bastards up at Youtube HeadQuarters are giggling their nuts off right now"*
* *"Its not insulting you in anyway, its just stating a fact that you like baby diapers. Haha woman cock"*
* *"Once I shat myself in a burger king"*
* *"spiders are hot"*
* *"those rocks are about to be fucking"*
* *"**☘️** Choccy Yarrr lawww!"*
* *"I am the reincarnation of Emperor Heinrich the Chivalrous"*
* *"Large 13.5 pizza with Stuffed Crust Toppings; Chicken Breast Strips, Ham, Onions, Extra Olives, Extra Dominos Herbs, Tandoori Chicken, Pork Meatballs. best pizza of all time."*
* *"a woman just beat me up and pissed on my face"*
* *"you better sleep tight. big country king johnny is comin for ya."*
* *"uummmm yes m-momm-mmommymymyom yes I did"*
* *"Call me Michael Jackson cause I'm bad at doing my job"*
* *"oh fuck"*

## Related Pages

* Ronald Day
* Ronald Jr.

Proof Ronald is a certified spice bagger,Ronald during the Brown Burger Incident.