UFOs

"*But could it be that there's something much more nefarious lurking out there in space than space pirates themselves? Well I'm not sure, but I am going to make fun of Ted Cruz real quick.*"
―Moneystacks Salvia
UFOs is the first and only episode of Internet Unsolved Etiquemysteries. It was released on May 29, 2019.

## Summary

Moneystacks Salvia talks about UFOs and makes fun of Ted Cruz.

Salvia watches footage of a UFO where the cameraman is violently shaking the camera. He looks in the comments, but they all complain about the shaking and provide no answers. Salvia write a comment of his own. Then he gives an update on the previous episode in which he looked into the movie Loqueesha.

The Cheesesteak Day ad for VRV plays

Salvia looks into the Phoenix Lights and watches a Phoenix news program to learn more about it. He looks into the evidence provided by rj zander. Zander wishes to drown face down in Kari Lake, but it turns out that's just the name of the news anchor. After Zander's disappearance, Salvia leaves a comment to control the comment section now that it has become a crime scene. Zander was later found drowned face down in Kari Lake and the Phoenix Lights were actually just flares.

Next Salvia looks into the History Channel. What was once an educational channel had been taken over by aliens so it could spread bullshit like the aliens building the pyramids while trivializing the suffering of the slaves that actually built them. He asks anyone who knows where to find the History Channel's educational content to call his hotline. He writes a unintelligible comment, but it turns out that someone else wrote the exact same thing.

Salvia gives his final remarks, turns around, and gets scared by the shark that was put behind him with green screen.

Next week on Unsolved Etiquemysteries, he's going to figure out how they got a hold of a video of him doing yoga and farting on yogadude911.

## Comments

*Hey @jack how come Twitter’s “moment” quotes all the snarky leftists making fun of my comments, but doesn’t include my tweets in response explaining the real point that NATIONS like China have already developed & tested weapons to destroy satellites?*
- @tedcruz

*Even though you're a goofy lizard person with a beard that looks like you just wanted an excuse to finally crack open that jar of pubic hair you've had sitting around and glue it to your face, I don't think you're crazy because I'M a space pirate yarrr gimme yer moon rox*
- Erik

*Yo this video is so fake it pretended to be my friend and then talked shit about me behind my back. I tried bustin a nut to this because I get off to things that make me dizzy like roller coasters and poorly filmed UFO footage on Youtube that's probably fifteen stolen reuploads away from its original source. Also car accidents make me climax almost immediately but that's neither here nor there. Long story short this did nothing for me so I went and banged a mylar balloon and then let it float away into a nearby park where a bunch of assholes mistook it for a UFO.*
- Erik

*Ohh girl I took a Lo-Queefa out my butthole when I saw what this movie was about. Pretty sure the last time we cancelled someone this hard was when we dumped Osama Bin Laden off a boat. Anyway does amazon let you draw dingdongs? (\_)\_)::::::::::::::::::::D~~~~~~~ AWWW YEAH IT DOES*
- Erik

*Wow it's so fun to discuss UFO's visiting our planet, especially in a time when everyone has a camera and can capture strange objects in the sky. Whether it's real or not is beside the point to me because, of all the weird mysterious conspiracies out there, I think UFO's are just about the only one that doesn't get you kicked out of parties when you bring them up. I should know too, I got ejected from my own sister's wedding when I made a whole toast about how I really hope QAnon is a girl cause if not then I'm definitely gay. Nobody thinks UFO's are offensive but I say one quick thing about Sandy Hook at my friend's barbeque and now he won't talk to me anymore. If I call the Earth flat people call me stupid, if I say big-nosed globalist bankers run everything it somehow makes me an anti-semite, but UFO's? Man everyone's got a UFO story and that's why it is the perfect conspiracy theory. Well that and Pizzagate because the pizza place by my house can't make a pie for shit and they've been in business for 50 years so... there's no way they're staying afloat without a kid dungeon in the basement.*
- Erik

*„WHY I THINK, 🙄 THAT THE PYRAMIDS WERE MADE BY THE GIANTS, AND WITH THE COLUMNS OF TRUNK CUTTED TREES AND THAT THEY WERE PETRIFIED! LIKE THE TOWER OF THE DEVIL,! WHY! ANOTHER STONE SOURCE FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS BEEN BUILT OF STONE! THROUGHOUT THE PLANET! THERE IS NO OTHER SOURCE, !! MORE THAN THAT! THAT OF ALL THE TRUNKS WITH THE STRUCTURE IN COLUMNS, CUT ANCESTRAL TREES, AND THAT ARE PETRIFIED BY MOISTURE, THAT INSURANCE WAS THAT OF THE DILUVIO, !! Y. AND ALREADY USED THEM TO BUILD, WHAT IS, AND THERE,! . I think that, and I do not think that I have any day to change my opinion, !! 😏😏**All your historys stinks*
- Erik and Sara Amador

## Context

1. ↑ Loqueesha is a real movie, but no Internet Unsolved Etiquemysteries video of it was ever made.

## Video

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