Merwyn Cruddy

## Bio

**Merwyn Cruddy** is a British spy within an unidentified British agency in England tasked with keeping government secrets out of the reach of rival countries (possibly the same agency as Dan Dan The Laboratory Man). A so-called expert in disguises, he meets with his superior Skipper (Henry McGee), who informs him of two agents named Gunther and Helga (Bob Todd and Lesley Goldie) with stolen NATO plans in a bullet proof snuff box they wish to sell to Russia. Assigned to get it back, Cruddy is allowed an assistant which he doesn't want until a sexy girl (Diana Darvey) enters the room. Now, he wants her as an assistant, but his real assistant-to-be slips in behind her, a short balding old man (Jackie Wright).

Searching for Gunther in Germany, Merwyn and Jackie are hardly professional or discreet in tracking him down to the Bier Garden where he spends his time. In fact, while en route and posing as a little old lady to distract him, Merwyn gets hit over the head by Jackie responding too late to knock Gunther unconscious. When Cruddy poses as an orange-haired waiter with glasses and a big nose, Gunther recognizes him and chuckles to himself amused, passing by him at arm's distance as Merwyn tries snatching the snuff box. Not paying attention, Merwyn accidentally grabs a young Fraulein (Cheryl Gilham) while trying to grab the snuff box from Gunther and gets smacked.

Amused by Merwyn and Jackie's pitiful attempts, Gunther starts toying with them to amuse himself with their pitiful attempts. When Merwyn gets on Jackie's shoulders hidden under a long coat, Gunther sticks it close to them, but neither if them can reach it. With Gunther laughing the whole time, the two of them are shooed off by a suspicious German officer (Jon Jon Keefe).

With Jackie posing as a waiter in the glasses and big nose, Merwyn dresses up as a nun as Jackie distracts Gunther by slowly pouring an entire pitcher of coffee in his mug. The stunt works, but Merwyn's costume gets ripped off by the table and nearly grabbed by the German officer who returns the snuff box to him. Merwyn tries again as a bearded Scotsman, but his fake beard cup off on his beer mug. Laughing hysterically, Gunther now starts showing up in disguises of his own, appearing as a China man to Merwyn's bald priest, a German army officer to Merwyn as a mustached hippie and as a burlesque comedian to Merwyn's burlesque comedian. When Merwyn and Jackie return as little old ladies, they find a shapely woman at Gunther's table and think she's him. They marvel at at his look and curves, but when Merwyn grabs her chest, the woman slaps him. Merwyn and Jackie are escorted off by two German police officers (Jon Jon Keefe and Henry McGee).

The woman is actually Gunther's partner, Helga (Lesley Goldie) coming to join him, and together, they take the S.S. Rumpo to sell the film. Merwyn and Jackie get on board as burlesque entertainers to get the snuff box, but the high seas have them and Gunther sliding all over the deck, narrowly missing the box several times. At one point trying to stop himself from sliding, Merwyn pulls off Helga's dress, leaving it on Guther to catch the blame. When Helga takes custody of the snuff box, he then tries passing himself off as the ship's captain. With Jackie's help, he gets her purse with the snuff box inside, but a nearby steward (Henry McGee) gets suspicious of him, and she gets it back.

The following day, Helga is on deck and pushes the snuff box deep down the front of her dress into her cleavage, but Merwyn and Jackie pose as Bolshevik dancers playing loud bawdy Russian music. When Helga gets carried away and starts dancing, the snuff box falls through her dress to the deck, and Merwyn gets it. He and Jackie then quickly row ashore with it.
At headquarters, Merwyn and Jackie return from their successful mission to turn over the snuff box to their boss, but Gunther and Helga are there ahead of them. Impersonating Skipper. Gunther traps Merwyn and Jackie and demands the box. Merwyn is all too willing to be searched by Helga trying to retrieve it, but she instead finds it on Jackie. The two then escape as Merwyn finds Skipper and his secretary (Cheryl Gilham) bound and gagged without their clothes. Meanwhile, Jackie reveals the rival spies took his cigarette case by mistake and chases after them to switch it back.

## Trivia

* Cruddy is played by Benny Hill, but the name is reused several times in the series for various other sketch characters:
	+ a reluctant nudist at Sunnydays Naturist camp (The Sound Of Frankenstein)
	+ a guest on Confrontation (Dalton Abbott Railway Choir)
	+ an actor interviewed by Andree Melly on Departure Lounge (Great British Dancing Finals)
	+ another actor interviewed by Andree Melly on The Movie Shakers (Fun In The Kitchen)
	+ a chorus boy interviewed by Andree Melly on The Grass is Greener (Cinema: The Vintage Years)
* The exterior of Merwyn's headquarters is the Bowater House in Knightsbridge, England.
* McGee's secretary is played by Cheryl Gilham.
* The "Old Ben Achmed" gag is reused in 1989 for The B-Team sketch.
* The extraneous characters is the sketch aren't named; the names Gunther, Helga and Jackie are only used for clarification purposes.
* The gag with struggling to pass a security gate recurs in The Messenger sketch from 1971.
* A stuntman likely posed as Jackie under the coat to carry Benny.
* Jon Jon Keefe, Diana Darvey and Cheryl Gilham play extraneous patrons in the Bier Garden.
* The S.S. Rumpo was last used as a sketch in a 1971 episode.
* The closing hallways shot seems to be filmed on videotape within the Thames Television building and appears sharper and clearer than the film used in the exterior shots.
* This sketch appears on VHS and DVD as "Spy Games."
* This was one of the last sketches for Lesley Goldie in the series. She leaves the series after this episode.

## Episode(s)

* Film Time at the National Film Theater
* Great British Dancing Finals
* Cinema: The Vintage Years
* Dalton Abbott Railway Choir
* Fun in the Kitchen

## Gallery

* The Actor
* The Choir Boy
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