Episode Seven: All Fights Reserved

**“***Okay, fuck you, sit down. It’s storytime.***”**
— **Dr. Edison Tucker****, Episode Seven: All Fights Reserved**

Unofficial cover image made for this wiki. Background by Caitlin Hoilman.

A lesson in chemistry brings tensions to a boil.

## Summary

*The following is a summary written for this wiki. It only hits the major points of the episode and, as such, should not be used as a substitute for listening to the episode as intended by the creators.*
Lucy is having a heated argument with her agent, Philippa, over the effects of a drug she wrote into her newest *Burning Coven* book. Her editor, Machavich, finds the effects of the drug too unrealistic given that the story itself is grounded in modern-day reality. Lucy doesn't see how this matters since the story is about magic but Philippa persists and suggests Lucy ask Ed about mood-altering drugs. Lucy relents and hangs up. Ed pops into Lucy's study, wondering what the commotion is about. Lucy, pained and through near gritted teeth, asks for Ed's help. When she realizes Lucy is series about needing help from her chemistry background, Ed exictedly runs off to prepare a presentation for Lucy.

Later, in Ed's lab, the presenation begins. Lucy calls out Ed's slideshow for having a title made of only emojis. Ed waves her off and begins to explain how caffeine works and how the big drugs it is most similar to are MDMA (Ecstacy) and Methamphetamine, to which she explains their effects as well. She then moves on to a coffee cup full of captagon, the subject of her thesis and a drug most known by its use by ISIS. For her thesis, she managed to get it into a liquid form rather than a tablet which allows it to start working in the body faster. Lucy then sarcastically thanks her for her stock image presentation and the unregulated substances she smuggled in and asks if Ed will be disposing of the captagon in a same manner. Ed says of course and...absent-mindedly drinks the stuff. Lucy and Ed both panic. Ed stops Lucy from calling urgent care because of the illegal drug now in her system. Ed assures her she'll be fine, though the dewclaw incident still lingers in her mind. The two start arguing, again, and they get to the subject of Lucy assuming everyone is out to get her and doesn't respect to accomplishments and how Ed can level with her on that because she can't read. Though that last bit was a slip up on Ed's part.

This revelation throws Lucy who cannot fathom how Ed got four Doctorates while being illiterate. Ed tells her to sit down because it's story time. At six years old, Ed was put in SSL classes due to the low expectations for her cognitive development. But during these classes, she would often work on any and every type of puzzle she could get her hands on. One day, she assembled a 100-piece jigsaw puzzle wih ease and caught the attention of her teacher, Daniel Cotter. He gave her a Rubix Cube to solve and she also managed with ease. Then he gave her a Magic Treehouse book and she couldn't understand what she was looking at. After giving her some wordless puzzle tests, he got her parents together and told them what he'd found - that Edison was dyslexic to the point of functional illiteracy but also that she had an IQ of 197. He pushed to get her into advanced courses with accessibility options, but the principal did not approve it since Ed could not pass a test with words. And thus Ed was stuck in SSL classes until her junior year, where she took the ACT, with questions read aloud, and scored a 35, and then a perfect 36 during her senior year. But even with that showing, Ed could not get into any colleges.

Ed then worked at a local slaughterhouse. Then, one night at Paulson's, a nearby bar, Ed ran into Mr. Cotter again. He said he wanted to help her and he followed through. He helped get her mental health disorders diagnosed (including bi-polar disorder and ADHD), got her properly medicated, his sister-in-law did her therapy for free, and he typed up her dictations. All this lead to her getting several college offers, including her pick of Stanford University, where she earned her four Doctorates, including theology which required way more reading than Ed should have been capable of doing. And all this is to say, she's not stupid.

Lucy attempt brevity by saying the effects on Ed is a truth serum and Ed admits that Lucy is the first person she's told all this to in a long time. Ed thinks she's been having a panic attack for the last ten minutes, to which Lucy springs up from her chair and leads Ed to sit down herself. Lucy then opens up to Ed about her Autism and how she tends to shut down and get overwhelmed. She suggests to Ed that she listen to something to help get her mind off the current situation, though Ed is having it rough and can't get herself to look at her phone. Lucy leaves and returns with a copy of her book. She offers to read to Ed and she obliges, though the first line, "It is not your time yet," catches her off guard.

## Notable Events

* Philippa Coolidge's first appearance.
* Ed reveals to Lucy, and the audience, that she cannot read due to extreme dyslexia.
* Ed reveals her backstory.
* Lucy notes how Ed metabolizes the captagon so fast, though she doesn't know about Ed's immortality yet.
* Lucy begins reading her *Burning Coven* books to Ed.
* The phrase "It is not your time yet," appears for a third time, this time as the opening line to Lucy's first book.

## Quotes

**“***No, but people still like to nitpick. Or do we want a repeat of the Twitter shit that happened after book two?***”**
— **Philippa Coolidge****, invoking past trauma.**

**“***Dr. Tucker I need your─ I need your he─ your hel─***”**
— **Lucille Kensington****, asking Ed for help and debating her life choices.**

**“***Well. At least we know its effects on you now. If I ever need a truth serum, I’ll know what to base it on.***”**
— **Lucille Kensington****, master of cutting tension.**

**“***Oh. I’m not really in the mood to look at my phone, dude. It feels like my brain’s giving birth to a new pantheon.***”**
— **Dr. Edison Tucker****, Mother of Brain Gods**

**“***I am literally on fighter pilot drugs.***”**
— **Dr. Edison Tucker****, high as a fighter pilot.**

## Cast and Characters

* Dr. Edison Tucker played by Newton Schottelkotte
* Lucille Kensington played by Madelyn Harvieux
* Philippa Coolidge played by Artemis Zara Gültekin
* Machavich is mentioned
* Daniel Cotter is mentioned

## Credits

Where the Stars Fell is a production of Caldera Studios, and is produced and written by Newton Schottelkotte. The voice of Philippa Coolidge was Artemis Zara Gültekin. The voice of Lucille Kensington was Madelyn Harvieux. The voice of Dr. Edison Tucker was Newton Schottelkotte. Script edits were done by Lucy Brown, with a sensitivity read by Kit Addams. All sound effects taken from Audio Library, Sound Library, Nagaty Studio, original foley, or used under Creative Commons License. Find transcripts, social media links, and places to listen at “wherethestarsfell dot com”.

## Notes

* Philippa mentions JSTOR which is a digital library of academic journals, books, and primary sources, typically used for research purposes.
* Philippa makes reference to some sort of fallout that happened after the release of book two of *Burning Coven*.

* EP 01: The Olive Branch
* EP02: Flight of the Amphibians
* EP03: Hog Wild
* EP04: Ed Tucker Can Die?
* EP05: Glossophobia
* EP06: Tinfoil Isn't Your Color
* **EP07 All Fights Reserved**
* EP08: Be Not Afraid
* MS01: Romancing the Stone
* Season Two Q&A
* MS02: Full Pod
* EP09: Introductions
* EP10: Happy Birthday Edison
* EP11: British Doll
* EP12: Hell Is a Teenage Blogger
* EP13: Retribution Part 1
* EP14: Retribution Part 2
* EP15: Animal Control
* MS03: Plan B(affle)
* EP16: Shir-lock Holmes
* EP17 Dear Listener
* Starfall Crossover: Star vs Star: The Star-cial Network (Starfall Version)
* EP18: T'Shuva
* The Amelia Project Crossover: The Perils of Freelancing
* MS04: Minutes
* EP19: Don't Burn Down the House
* SP01: The Christmas Chronicle
* MF05: Don't Ask, Don't Tell
* Season Three Q&A
* MS06: Whitechapel
* Seen and Not Heard Crossover: Two Jews In A Room Signing
* EP20: Boiling Over
* EP21: Everybody Goes To the Rapture
* EP22: Who's Afraid of Ken Keeler?
* EP23: And the Prom Is Tomorrow
* Forgive Me! Crossover: Forgive Where The Stars Fell
* EP24: Something Other Than the Desperation
* EP25: Probability
* EP26: The Circle: Part 1
* EP27: The Circle: Part 2
* Fawx and Stallion Crossover: The Case of the Deus Ex Machina