National Senior Hockey Championship

**National Senior Hockey Championship** is the second episode of Season 8 of *Letterkenny*.

## Synopsis

The Hicks continue to be there for their friend. The Hockey Players play Quebec. Stewart learns how to fight.

## Cold Open

TSN's *The Quiz* continues its coverage of the National Senior Hockey Championship (sponsored by BROdude energy drink), hosted by James Duthie and featuring TSN Insider Darren Dreger, analyst Jeff "O-Dog" O'Neill, and "the legend himself," Mr. Bob McKenzie. Duthie asks the panelists, if you could build a team around one player for the final between the Kerry County Eagles of Ontario and the Three Rivers Lakers of Quebec, who would it be?

O'Neill's pick is Quebec's #10, Jean-Jacques Francois Jacques-Jean, an ex-NHLer who needs virtually zero help to score goals—he has scored 14 in four games, 11 unassisted. Dreger, on the other hand, favours Ontario's #74, Jonesy, a more balanced player with eight goals and eight assists, and an effective D-man. McKenzie agrees with Dreger that JJ Frankie JJ lacks the work ethic, but favours Reilly, #68, who "belongs in the same conversation as Blake Wheeler or Gabriel Landeskog," a "sandpaper player with consistent point production."

Duthie himself, however, goes off the grid, and chooses Shoresy, #69, a combination of Claude Lemieux and Claude Giroux who scores as well as Reilly and Jonesy, but does far more to shut down the opposing team. On hearing this, O'Neill changes his answer, calling Shoresy the Brad Marchand of the tournament. Dreger compares him to Dino Ciccarelli, and says he is undisciplined. McKenzie, having covered hockey throughout the careers of Darcy Tucker, Matt Barnaby, and Alex Burrows, believes Shoresy does more talking on the ice than all three combined, and does not trust him in a leadership role.

## Plot Summary

Daryl and Dan remain outside the sled shack waiting for Wayne to emerge. Daryl asks how things are going between Dan and Lovina Dyck, and if she is "loving a dick," which offends Dan. Daryl remarks that they are a bit square, which Dan stipulates.

> They are all kinds of L7s. — Dan
>
>

Dan says he has broken things off with her, never having so much as kissed. However, the girl who had once stuck her finger up his bum is back for the summer, finishing up her kinesiology dgree with a focus on massage therapy, and would be by to visit later. Meanwhile, inside the shack, Wayne continues to watch his tapes of *Miss Fire* while drinking.

    Aly and Bianca approach Ron and Dax at the gym. They discuss their mutual involvement with Stewart, who has achieved his four workout goals: to add 10 pounds of muscle, to bench press three sets of four reps at 200lbs, and the same for deadlifts and squats. They discuss the difference between being shredded (like Brad Pitt, or Zac Efron) and jacked (like Tom Hardy, or the Rock). They turn to see a shirtless Stewart flexing.

Back at the farm, Bonnie and Katy meet up and agree to take action on an unspecified subject.

> Stand for nothing and you'll fall for anything. — Katy
>
>

    Kate Beirness and Tessa Bonhomme, hosting a pregame show for the big hockey final, announce they will be combining their coverage with Tanis, who has offered the feed from her mic'd up team, which she continues to refer to as "mic'd out." They introduce Tanis, who is in the studio with them and starstruck to be in their presence. She asks permission to make a shoutout, and when granted, Axe, Slash, and Shania enter the studio to the hosts' surprise, talking excitedly in their native tongue.

    Seeing Ellen approaching the sled shack, Dan hurried tells Daryl "don't say anything about the fingers in the bums." As she takes a seat, however, Daryl cannot control his giggling. Ellen asks Daryl whether he has ever had a finger up his butt, which Daryl denies, which she in turn says means he has definitely never had a tongue in his butt. It is his loss, as that is where she says the male G-spot is located, and she invites him to try it out. She then invites Dan to go for a walk, to which he grudgingly agrees—if it's a short walk.

Back at the arena, JJ Frankie JJ tells Jonesy and Reilly that RDS had chosen him as the best player on the ice. Shoresy is quick to respond, mocking his size and telling him to go have another Big Mac. Beirness remarks about the "hostile start" to the game. As the game commences, however, Jacques-Jean dominates the ice, scoring goal after goal without a reply from Ontario, and without assistance from his teammates; the second period ends with the Eagles down 5–0. Shoresy's chirps have proven ineffective against JJ who simply laughs them off, much to Shoresy's own increasing frustration.

    As the players take positions for the start of the third period, Shoresy reaches a boiling point, and delivers a powerful slash at Jacques-Jean's legs, knocking him off his skates, initiating a massive donnybrook that the officials struggle to control. As the injured Jacques-Jean is helped off the ice, and the referees drag Shoresy off, he cannot resist a last chirp.

> I'll send you stuffed crust to the emergency room, you fat fuckin' pig! — Shoresy
>
>

    Both teams having lost their star players, the Eagles regroup with Reilly and Jonesy taking the lead. The Lakers are revealed to be nothing without their star player, whereas the Eagles, working as a team, overcome the deficit. At the final buzzer, the score is 6–5, and the Kerry County Eagles are national champions. Reilly and Jonesy lift the cup overhead together, knocking off its cap in the process, but the entire team, including Shoresy, soon join in to celebrate.

    Stewart finishes a set of squats at the gym as an admiring Ron, Aly, Roald, Bianca, and Dax leer. Ron declares he is yoked; Aly admonishes him, "just say jacked." Stewart has just achieved a new personal best, an accomplishment made possible thanks to his two personal besties, Ron and Dax. Ron, Dax, and Stewart discuss putting that on a T-shirt, while a hurt and jealous Roald suggests he could put it on a T-shirt for each of the *four* personal besties. But the women point out that this is only phase one. For phase two, he needs to learn how to fight, for which they have enlisted Tyson and Joint Boy as fight coaches (for a hundred dollars). They walk up behind, startling Roald, and are told they are on the clock.

Dan returns from his walk to the sled shack, where *Miss Fire* is heard still playing. Daryl returns shortly thereafter, but avoids saying where he has been. Dan reflects that while he appreciates Ellen's liberal attitudes toward sex, he misses Lovina Dyck's more traditional ways as well.

> There's such a thing as too much butts talk, and a gal oughta be fuckin' aware of it. — Dan
>
>

Daryl begins to ask Dan whether there might be something to "checking your oils" when Bonnie and Katy return. Dan asks where they have been all day; evidently, they had driven to Quebec and stopped into to the Salon d'Agriculture, and then Katy had kicked Marie-Fred square in the crotch. All four drink a Puppers to toast the occasion.

    Inside the sled shack, Wayne finishes watching the finale of *Miss Fire*, where she agrees to marry General Public. He emerges from the sled shack at long last, and after exchanging obligatory pleasantries, all four rush in to give him a group hug.

## Quotes

* Dan: You remember that gal what stuck her fingers ups my bums?
Daryl: You mean the one who tapped on your back door?
Dan: Yeah, the one who played Crokinole in my basements.
Daryl: The one who had the keyless entry to your trunk?
Dan: The one who tested my wind conditions.
Daryl: Sure I do.

* Dan: She asked me if I wanted to go for a walks, and I said no, 'cause I don't wanna go for a walks, because I just finished dating a Mennonite, and that's all you can fucking do is go for walks.

* Ron: Stewart came to us not yoked.
Roald: Mmm, Stewart.
Ron: But, upon achieving goals one through four, we as fitness gurus…
Dax: Fitness specimens.
Ron: Fitness examples.
Dax: Fitness exemplars.
Ron: Fitness exemplifications.
Both: (inhale)
Dax: We as fitness exhibits can confidently and enthusiastically exercise our authority in deeming him officially yoked.
Bianca: Just say jacked.
Ron: 'kay.

* Daryl: What's a G-spot?
Dan: It's an old wives' tale.
Ellen: If you want to find out, stick your finger up there.

* Shoresy :Holy fuck, Frankie, you look like you love a good slice. Did you get axed from the show and just start hammering slices or what? If the Cup was a slice, you think you'd work a little harder, you fuckin' pizza face?

* Shoresy: Hey, go eat some fondue, you fuckin' manatee! And have another Baconator, you fuckin' walrus!

* Bianca: That's only phase one.
Stewart: How many phases?
Aly: Just two.
Stewart: Wondrous.

* Dan: Ellen and her free spirit, it kinda made me miss Lovina Dycks and her traditional ways.
Daryl: Well, she is Lovina Dyck.
Dan: She's Lovina Dyck, all right.
Daryl: Whereas Ellen is… loving a dick.
Dan: Correct. There's such a thing as too much butts talk, and a gal oughta be fuckin' aware of it.

## Callbacks and Running Gags

* They don't ask how, they ask how many (Sled Shack)
* Two-knuckler (Finding Stormy a Stud)
* Too much talk (The Native Flu)
* No Fear slogans (Les Hiques)
* Katy's signature move: a kick to the groin (Puck Bunny)

## Cultural References

* RDS (Réseau des sports) is the French-language sister channel of TSN. Both are owned by CTV, which is owned by Bell Canada, which own Crave and distributes *Letterkenny*.
* Tanis is wearing a mandala with Mohawk symbols, and speaks Mohawk when she gives her shout-out on TSN. although the people to which she or the other Natives belong has never been named or explored on the show.
* Shoresy is compared to Brad Marchand, Dino Ciccarelli, Darcy Tucker, Matt Barnaby, and Alex Burrows, who all had successful NHL careers marred by violence and legal troubles on and off the ice.
* Shoresy's attack on JJ Frankie JJ may be a reference to the 1972 Summit Series between Canada and the Soviet Union, one of the highest-profile ice hockey events of its generation. During Game 6, Canadian Bobby Clarke slashed the ankle of Soviet star Valeri Kharlamov, keeping him out of Game 7 and limiting his performance in Game 8. The move remains highly controversial.
* Shoresy's mention of "stuffed crust" is a reference to stuffed crust pizza, a pizza with cheese or other ingredients baked into the crust, popularized after U.S.-based chain Pizza Hut began offering it in 1995.
* The lid being knocked off the championship cup may be a reference to the 2008 Memorial Cup, in which the cup fell apart as victorious Spokane Chiefs captain Chris Bruton was passing it to teammate Trevor Glass. The cup used in the ceremony was a replica, however; the actual cup is stored at the Hockey Hall of Fame.

## Trivia

* There is no national championship for senior hockey in Canada. At the AAA level, the national champion is the winner of the Allan Cup, but the teams which compete in that tournament represent regions, not provinces.
* This episode establishes firmly that "Shoresy" and "Jonesy" are nicknames, the actual names of the characters being "Shore" and "Jones." The assigning of diminutive nicknames usually ending in -y was first lampooned in Wingman Wayne (Brooksy, Burnsy, Coopsy, etc.). Reilly, in real life, might have also been nicknamed, as "Reills" or "Reillo" or the like.
* "L7" is a slang term for "square" derived from the shape of the characters, for example when expressed with a hand gesture.
* The Native Coach, addressing the team before the third period, kicks a garbage can in anger, a signature move of the Coach.
* "Too much butt talk" is a callback to the cold open for the second season episode The Native Flu, in which Wayne observes "there's such a thing as too much horn talk." The actual conversation involving attention paid to Dan's butthole was the cold open for the previous episode, Relationships. Stewart's endowment is revisited when he strips down to compression shorts, attire which Reilly and Jonesy later adopt in Day Beers Day.
* Ellen (Lily Gao) appears at the end of In It To Win It, meeting up with Tyson and Joint Boy, but is credited in that episode as "Sally."
* Stephen Huszar (Yorkie) receives billing as a main character in this episode even though he does not have any lines.

## Music

According to Tunefind, the following songs are featured on this episode:

* Uncle Ray by Bike Thiefs (TSN player highlights)
* Git Wit Dis (original mix) by Manics (the hockey game)
* Claws by Cakedrop
* Crown on the Ground by Sleigh Bells (Katy and Bonnie visit Quebec)
* This Too Shall Pass by OK Go (Wayne emerges from the shed)

## Appearances

* TSN's James Duthie, Darren Dreger, Jeff O'Neill, and Bob McKenzie as themselves
* Reilly
* Jonesy
* Jean-Jacques Francois Jacques-Jean (Max Bouffard)
* Shoresy
* Katy
* Bonnie McMurray
* Aly
* Bianca
* Roald
* Ron
* Dax
* Stewart
* TSN's Kate Beirness and Tessa Bonhomme as themselves
* Tanis
* Axe
* Slash
* Shania (Ellyn Jade)
* Ellen (Lily Gao)
* Native Coach
* Connor
* Darien
* Tyson
* Joint Boy
* Marie-Fred
* Miss Fire (Melody A. Johnson) (voice)
* General Public (Mark Wilson) (voice)
* Private Sector (Colin Doyle) (voice)

## Locations

* TSN studios
* Sled Shack on the farm
* Kerry County Arena (on the Rez)
* The gym
* Salon d'Agriculture

## Gallery

*→ See **36** images from National Senior Hockey Championship at **Images from National Senior Hockey Championship**.*
The panelDaryl and Dan at the shackA scowlExhibitsRoald gets excitedStewart's goalsCompression shortsReady to goKate and TessaTanis on TSNWith the crewShoutoutEllenJJ and ShoresyKicking the canTaking the heatSweeping the legFist bumpRaising the cupStewart flexesStewart's admirersThe Phase II CrewBonnie and Katy returnWayne emergesGroup hug
## External links

* National Senior Hockey Championship at IMDb
* National Senior Hockey Championship at the How Are Ya Now podcast
* National Senior Hockey Championship at The Produce Stand podcast