Ned Noarms

Ned Noarms, formerly known as Ned Danger is a world-famous explorer, adventurer, and researcher of ancient and extinct cultures and sites. He has made some of the most remarkable discoveries in recent history, such as rediscovering Anchorage based on a hunch and making the first contact with Sky Texas. He has also explored ancient temples and monuments in both the Northern and Southern continents, shedding light on long-forgotten civilizations. He used to be known as Ned Danger, but he lost his arms to Kyle Forearms. Despite his disability, he still climbs the Mountain of Youth every year.

To this day he continues to explore the world, uncovering ancient civilizations and cultures, and is currently trying to find Garloid Valley with his ship, *The Concordant.* He is undertaking this journey alongside a close friend of his and notable garloid enjoyer Professor Philip Hamilton. They wish to find it first so that they may protect it from the various pirates and looters who wish to exploit it for themselves.

## Origin

Ned Noarms was born as Ned Danger at least a couple centuries prior to the Crunch (though the exact date is unknown). He was the bastard son of a drunkard, and never got to know his mother. His early life was difficult, living in poverty in District 12 back before it got better (yeah modern district 12 is the better version). For what it's worth, he cultivated a desire to discover a better life early on, which would lead him to making a not only a name for himself, but cement him in every history book.

### The Mountain of Youth

Ned entered adulthood during a time of exploration and discovery. It was a time where the idea of making one's fame and fortune on the southern continent was sweeping across New Crunk City, Ned was among those who sought it out. At the age of 26 he joined the crew of an up and coming adventurer named Captain Jarina Sirova, an unscrupulous and unabashed plunderer and grave robber. Ned had several moral objections to what his captain and fellow crewmates would do, but his desire for adventure was too hard to resist.

One of their expeditions led them to the tomb of an ancient emperor in the southern continent, where they found a map to a mysterious “Mountain of Youth”. According to the map, anyone who climbed the mountain without any gear would age one year slower, but they had to repeat the climb every year or else they would physically revert to their correct age. Jarina was fascinated by this promise and ordered her crew to follow her to the mountain. However, the climb proved to be too dangerous and deadly for everyone except Ned, who had a natural talent for climbing (He used the rock wall a lot back in gym class). He was the only one who reached the top and gained the benefit of the mountain. He has kept the location of the mountain a secret and continued to climb it every year for over two centuries. Even after losing both of his arms, he knows the mountain like the back of his hand, and has no trouble scaling it despite his disability.

## Discoveries

Ned has made several discoveries throughout his lifetime, but he is most notable for a handful of substantial ones. Namely finding the Mountain of Youth. contacting Sky Texas, rediscovering Anchorage, and uncovering the Burial of Kaabanad.

### Contacting Sky Texas

Ned was the first person to rediscover Sky Texas, a large floating island in the sky that had been isolated from the world since the War of Gods. Amazingly, he stumbled upon it by chance. He was flying his biplane to Los Angelocos, where he wanted to study the Giggurat, an ancient structure related to immortality. Along the way, a strong wind pushed his plane higher than he expected, but he did not worry too much as he was a skilled pilot and thought he could still reach his destination with some delay.

However, he soon saw land below him, which puzzled him because he should not be able to see the ground at that altitude. He decided to land and check his location and headed to a nearby town for assistance. There, he realized he was in a completely different place than he intended. He had accidentally found Sky Texas and, and reconnected it with the rest of the world, which the Sky Texans equally didn't even know existed.

### Discovering Anchorage

When the Crunch happened, Ned was in Arcopolis. He was aiding efforts to excavate the Temple of Agoros, a site rumored to house the Aeon Scrolls. He would be stationed here for a while, often researching and exploring the other ancient Loquati ruins. What grabbed his attention in particular was a semi-frequent mention of a Loquati colony of Anchorage. He had read from other researchers that the Loquati were known to reference this "land of ice and primitives", but common thought was that it was simply a myth. He would put the idea of Anchorage on the backburner, but he never truly forgot about where the theorized location of anchorage was said to be - the northernmost part of the Northern Continent.

Ned would start theorizing that it was not in fact a myth. After the crunch, water levels began to rise to a degree that could not be explained easily. It had been known for a while that a large glacial ice cap covered the northernmost portion of the Northern Continent, and most people had attributed the sea level rise to the glacier melting. Ned was not so sure, so he investigated closer and noticed that nowhere did it seem the glaciers were melting. At this point he became determined to figure out the source. It was at this time he began thinking the situation may be related to Anchorage, as he began noticing the most changes around a specific portion of the glacier. He would follow water flow patterns and eventually pinpointed a small (nearly impossible to squeeze into) crack in the wall of the glacier, in a remote region known as "Harald's Coast". He would make his way through the crack and discovered the large thawing valley before him,

This discovery would rock the world of science as it lead to the reintroduction of several native Akorengans to the modern world, as well as answer the questions as to the final resting place of Titanoth was.

### Uncovering the Burial of Kaabanad

Despite having lost both his arms, Ned would not be discouraged from continuing his life's journey. He would quickly go off on his next big adventure.

If rumors in New Crunk City District 8 were to be believed, then there was supposedly an ancient tomb in the Grin-Gobi Desert. While rumors are rumors, many believed that perhaps this could be the Burial of Kaabanad - the tomb of king Kaabanad, and holds the path to the lost city of Imsath, an ancient city of gold buried in the sands of the Grin-Gobi, as a curse for defying Kaanad. But of course, these were all just rumors and legends. Nobody had ever confirmed the existince of King Kaabanad, nor was there any evidence of an ancient civilization existing in the Grin-Gobi Desert.

Despite this, Ned Noarms would trek out on his camel shortly after hearing this rumor, travelling for many days and nearly running out of water. He used his knowledge of the sands to navigate them masterfully, but would still get lost after a sandstorm. All hope seemed to be lost when he stumbled upon an oasis. Rejoicing at the water he would drink deeply. While drinking from the water he noticed a shining orb at its center. Curious, he stepped forward and reached down to grab it. Upon contacting it, it shined brightly, making the water around it shimmer too. With the ground shaking, an ancient entranceway would rise out of the sands. It was the Burial of Kaanad, and Ned Noarms would explore it with haste.

He would walk halls that haven't been walked in centuries, and came upon the burial chamber of Kaabanad. While magnificently decorated and full of treasures, time had clearly taken its toll. Much of the tomb had collapsed, destroying many of the artifacts and damaging the ones that remained. As for the path to Imsath, it was indeed there. Unfortunately though, the paint on the wall which was believed to be the map was far too worn to ever decipher, despite the attempts of several experts.

## Current Journey

To this day Ned Noarms is still exploring the world. For now though, he has his eyes set on Garloid Valley, a mysterious island located somewhere along Liecht's Line. The precise location is unknown, and navigating those waters is particularly hazardous due to the weather conditions.

Garloid valley is said to be an island with all the ideal conditions to make a garloid paradise. There is rumored to be ever garloid species and subspecies, even several that have been undiscovered by science. On top of all that. the famous pirate Jalico Crack said he buried his legendary treasure there prior to his death, making it a legend among pirates and other seafarers who could make their fortunes there from the buried treasure and exploiting the garloids.

Ned Noarms was initially uninterested in finding Garloid Valley, as he was busy trying to find The Latern of the Lost, a sacred artifact the supposedly can guide a mortal to Hell. However, one day he was approached by an old friend of his and notable garloid enjoyer Professor Philip Hamilton. Professor Hamilton requested that Ned aid him in his attempts to find Garloid Valley. He explained to Ned the importance of such an expedition, and the protection of all the garloids living there from the exploitations of pirates. He theorized that a land like Garloid Valley would be an ideal ecosystem for garloids to thrive, but it would be a delicate one that could be destroyed if mass occupation took place.

Convinced of the plight of the Garloids (and admitted pretty hyped to find a legendary island with a pirate treasure), he agreed to help Professor Hamilton, and the two set sail on Neds ship *The Concordant.*