Clowny McClownypants

I used to post funny stories online, on some site... uhhh jokeyjokes.corpypops.com. People loved my jokey stories. It was very fun being liked and such. People in real don't like me. I have an anger issue. :| oh well. I am good at jokes. Anyway, one time I wrote this story and a few people commented. The majority of comments were positive, telling me how hilarious I was and such. A few were kinda salty... someone said my jokes were too offensive and that I was uncool. I thought it's fine. Not everyone has a healthy sense of humor *Shrugs*

The next day I go on jokeyjokes to find out I'm banned... I was banned for a few jokes that ruffled some feathers.... that... angered... me.... so licking my lips like the Heath Ledger fan I am, I started speaking with a lips to myself plotting my next move. You know what my next move was? Do you? DO YOU? I got myself to working on finding the headquarters of the corpypops company and then I started working on a gas... a laughter gas... a joker if you will *licks lips randomly*

After that, I got myself a few paintball grenades and a paintball gun along with a cool white tux and some clown make up.... I was determined *randomly makes out with the air* to prove corpypops that I am... funneeeeh..."

Then I accidentally cut my face when I shaved my beard and cut.... *licks lips again* it was dheep \*licks lips\* yes... and I thought... that's funneh... funney yesa...

After that, I went I got myself all clowned up yes *licks lips compulsively* damn I'm such a clownly clown Mcclown hahahahahaha

FUNNEH

Anyway, then I stole a truck... okay no... I just took my own truck... I a truck driven with laughing gas in the trailer okay? I swear this isn't some joke nooo I'm serious... why am I so seeriiiooooouuuus wahahahahaha

I might have enhaled some of my own gas.... ooopsie

Okay so I went to the corypops tower and when I got out of the turk and pulled out my paintball gun the guards charged at me and I shot them with the jokey gas *licks lips* So I did this thing and I told them this funny joke... What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels. and they laughed, and laughed and laughed and they fell on the floor and laughed themselves to uhhh... I don't know... I kinda just walked into the building and threw around my jokey gas grenades and I made people laugh and laugh and laugh... and I said, I said *licks lips* I said... what did I say? hahaha my bad hahahaha I definitely inhaled some of the gas... hahahaha

Okay I said, Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels. and then they laughed and fell on the ground and laughed... so I kept going around the tower shooting people with jokey gas *licks lips* and then I did something funnyyyyyy I took my finger I put it my butt and then I put it in my nose and I dug out some golden snot and I swallowed it whole *claps lips* god my lips are dry

EVERYONE WAS LAUGHIIIIIING I AM A FUNNY FUNNY MAN I AM THE REAL JOKER

Okay so now we're here... I am holding you, the chairman of corpypops as a prisoner and I've ingested you with some jokey gas and now you will at everything I said... CHAIRMAN CHAIRMAN DO YOU WANNA HEAR JOKE?

*laughter in the background mixed with crying*

HEY DON'T BE SO SAD... CLOWNLY CLOWN MCCLOWNYPANTS IS HERE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

Do you wanna hear that joke? LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU CORPYBOSS LOOK AT ME! *licks lips*

Look at me, oh you look kinda funneh with tears in your eyes and that massive jokey smile of yourss HERE COMES THE KILLER JOKE;

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Funny isn't it? I know... let me tell you how I got thiscar

It's a funny story corpyboss, it all started with someone saying I am not funny so I got mad at me beard and I shaved and I cut myself, pretty deep by accident... because I shaved with a knife... I am weird like that

HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*Chokes on laughter*

*Barfs*