The Patrick Star & Yoru Chaneru Show/Transcript

### Cold open

* [The episode begins in Patrick's house. The Star family are eating their breakfast at the kitchen. Squidina runs to the kitchen]
* **Squidina Star:** Guys! Guys! I have great news!
* **Cecil Star:** What is it, sweetie?
* **Squidina Star:** Well, ViacomCBS confirms that The Patrick Star Show will be getting a crossover series! And they hopefully they gonna release it on Paramount+.
* **GrandPat Star:** If there's something gotta do with politicians and other stuff, then I ain't appearing in this crossover.
* **Squidina Star:** No, no, not that kind of crossover, I meant the talk show crossover.
* **GrandPat Star:** Oh... And which talk show are we talking about?
* **Squidina Star:** The... [holds out a piece of paper and reads it] The Yoru Chaneru Show.
* **Bunny Star:** Oh, I've seen this show before. There was that one episode where Patrick appears in this show.
* **Patrick Star:** This guy is so funny! I like the part when he freaks out about being part of The Yoru Show! Wasn't that funny or what?!
* **Squidina Star:** Uhh, Patrick, I think you was in The Yoru Show, remember?
* **Patrick Star:** Who's Yoru?
* **Squidina Star:** Y'know, the one where she kicks you out of her studio because of your misbehavior?
* **Patrick Star:** Ooh, that Yoru. [short pause] Wait, who's Yoru again?

### Main episode

* [Scene cuts to Universal Studios Florida, then cuts to the Blue Man Group Theatre building, where we see the Chaneru siblings waiting for the Star family to get here]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** This sucks. What are we doing here in Florida?
* **Orenji Chaneru:** Well, did you remember when you tell Viacom that you wanted a crossover show?
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Yeah?
* **Orenji Chaneru:** We bring you here because you're gonna make a crossover show with Patrick!
* **Yoru Chaneru:** What?! Why Patrick?!
* **Orenji Chaneru:** Because you two get along with each other.
* **Yoru Chaneru:** First of all, we don't get along. Second, I have to kick Patrick out of the show because he ruin my set while freaking out.
* **Orenji Chaneru:** Aw, man! That episode was so hilarious! Remember that part when....
* **Okyan Chaneru:** [points to something] Look, there they are!
* [A car drives up to the building]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** [rolls her eyes] Well, this is it.
* **Orenji Chaneru:** This is it.
* **Tanki Chaneru:** [texting on her phone] This is it.
* **Kyoku Chaneru:** [takes out the camera] This is it!
* [The Star family step out the car and the Chaneru siblings change their expression into shock. The Star family and the Chaneru siblings stare at each other]
* **GrandPat Star:** Who the heck are those boobs?
* **Bunny Star:** I don't know. They probably new relatives.
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Oh, hello, Patrick.
* **Patrick Star:** Sup.
* **Yoru Chaneru:** So, I heard that you got your own show.
* **Patrick Star:** Yep. And I'm going to have 26 episodes in the first season.
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Well, surprise, surprise. I've had my own talk show since 1985 and I'm on the thirty sixth season.
* **Patrick Star:** [mumbles under his breath] Lucky....
* **Okyan Chaneru:** [whispering to Kyoku] Mayday! Mayday! This isn't working!
* **Kyoku Chaneru:** Shh! I want to see what happens!
* **Yoru Chaneru:** So, you ready to produce our first episode?
* **Patrick Star:** Ready than usefully. [They shake hands. Scene cuts to The Patrick Star Show intro. He comes out of his house] Hi, I'm Patrick Star!
* **Yoru Chaneru:** [pops up] And I'm Yoru Chaneru! And we live with our dysfunctional family! [Patrick closes the door, Yoru's hand gets jammed by it and she yelps]
* [Cecil is seen fishing in a fish tank]
* **Patrick Star:** This is my dad! [Cecil fishes out Koten, and waves at him]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** And this is my sibling!
* [Then Patrick and Yoru goes to his kitchen where Bunny is cooking steaks in a toaster]
* **Patrick Star:** This is my mom!
* [Bunny's steaks fall on two plates as she smiles to the camera. Orenji pops up and eats the steaks]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Again, this is my sibling!
* [Patrick and Yoru run to Tanki and Squidina]
* **Patrick Star:** This is my sister! [Squidina gets scared and runs away] She's shy.
* **Tanki Chaneru:** Now look what you made her do! [runs towards the camera and punches it, causing the screen to crack]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** [off-screen] Yet again, my sibling.
* [GrandPat is seen happily driving on his mobility scooter in circles while Shijo, Okyan, and Kyoku are holding on to it]
* **Patrick Star:** This is my grandpa!
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Once again, my siblings.
* [Patrick and Yoru run to the studio which is a television screen through which the CHANNELloids are applauding]
* **Patrick Star:** This is our studio! And this...
* [Yoru snaps her finger and the Star family and the Chaneru siblings appear outside of the house]
* **Patrick/Yoru:** This is our show!
* [The title card read "The Patrick Star & Yoru Chaneru Show" with a rainbow background. Curtain goes down, and bunch of spot lights gleam around it]
* **Squidina Star:** [off-screen] Live from Nickelodeon Studio at Universal Studios Florida, it's The Patrick Star & Yoru Chaneru Show! [curtain raises by itself, revealing a television studio] Starring... Patrick Star! [Patrick falls to the studio and lands on the ground]
* **Patrick Star:** [pops up] Good morning, Bikini Bottom! [the camera pans over to the other side of the desk]
* **Squidina Star:** [off-screen] And featuring co-host... Yoru Chaneru!
* [Yoru slides down the stairs and lands on the swivel chair]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Hello, it's me~! Your favorite comedian show host! [the crowd applauds]
* [The scene then changes to the TV, where the Nicktoons are watching the show]
* **Stimpy:** [applauding wildly] Yay! Yeah! Ow! Ow, ow! Yeah! Now we're talking! Yeah! Ow! [leans towards Ren and shushes him] Shh!
* [Cuts back to Patrick and Yoru]
* **Patrick Star:** Uhh, anyway, on today's very first episode, we'll be giving a shout-out to the people who supported this crossover. [takes out a big long list] Shout-out to SpongeBob, Squidina, Orenji, Ouchie, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Plankton...
* **Yoru Chaneru:** And he's off, ladies and gentlemen.
* **Patrick Star:** ...Kuroi, Kigeki, Fumen, Rekishi... [Yoru looks at her watch]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Anyway, in today's episode, one of the Bikini Bottom background characters, Fred, got his leg injured at the Glove World! Festival after a crowd rushed through the stage while Orenji performed. Here's the footage of it.
* [Cuts to the television fuzzing on the screen. The screen then shows Cecil, who is wearing a workout outfit, holding a camera, and moving it towards him. He takes a few steps back and begins exercising. The Nicktoons stare in disbelief and Slappy takes a picture of it. As Cecil was exercising, he breaks his leg and falls on the floor. He begins to screams]
* **Cecil Star:** BUNNY!! CALL THE AMBULANCE! I THINK I'VE BROKE MY LEG AGAIN!! [cuts back to Patrick and Yoru]
* **Patrick Star:** [laughs] Who is this dude? He should be on America's Dumbest People!
* **Yoru Chaneru:** That's your father, you knucklehead! And you gave me the wrong video!
* **Patrick Star:** Oh, sorry. The first video was taking too long to load, so I played the other video instead.
* **Yoru Chaneru:** [sneers] L-Let's just skip the video segment, shall we? On today's episode...
* **Squidina Star:** Due to some technical difficulties, we will be right back with more of The Patrick Star & Yoru Chaneru Show after these messages. [she puts a VHS tape into a TV, which shows Rocko, who is really bored]
* **TV Announcer:** Are you tired of your neighbors' bothering you and such things? [Rocko nods his head] Then look no further! Introducing: Beat Thy Neighbors! A fun game to play with your neighbors! [The box landed on the table. Scene cuts to Ed Bighead is watering the flowers]
* **Rocko:** [waves] Hey, Mr. Bighead! [Ed looks at him] Check out this cool blimp that I made!
* [Rocko activates the remote and the Nickelodeon blimp flies towards the Bigheads' house. The blimps drops a big nuclear bomb close to the house. Ed looks up and sees that the bomb is about to land. He tries to run away, but the bomb lands on him, causing the house to explode]
* **Rocko:** Karma day is a very good day. [Chuckles. Cuts to the Beat Thy Neighbors box]
* **TV Announcer:** Beat Thy Neighborsm, from Blammo!
* [Static feed cuts to the kitchen, where Bunny is preparing breakfast while everyone sits at the table]
* **Bunny Star:** [places the plate with a cover on it on the table] Kids, breakfast is ready! [Patrick and Yoru enter the kitchen via the elevator and they run to their seats]
* **Patrick Star:** Ooh, what are we having for breakfast?
* **Bunny Star:** It's your favorite! [she removes the silver lid, revealing Lucky Charms pancakes] Lucky Charms pancakes! [Patrick, Orenji, and her siblings look at the pancakes and they begin to drool]
* **Orenji Chaneru:** [sniffs the pancakes] It smells magically delicious! [the camera pans over to Tanki, who is texting on her phone, and GrandPat]
* **GrandPat Star:** Hmph! Kids these days! Back in my day, we didn't have any fancy phones like you kids! We spend our free time outside playing baseball!
* **Tanki Chaneru:** Is that why you always wanted to go to third base with Granny Tentacles?
* **GrandPat Star:** Wha-?! [blushes angrily] Oh, shut up!
* **Bunny Star:** Everyone, dig in! [The family digs into the pancakes. Bits and pieces are flying everywhere. One of the pancakes lands on Yoru's plate. She whistles for a brief second, then checks her wristwatch]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** It appears to be my breakfast hour. Night owls have to eat to. I guess this will have to do. [Bunny takes the pancake away]
* **Bunny Star:** Oh, you don't want this stuff. How about a leftover dinner from last night? [gives Yoru a burnt turkey]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** What's this?
* **GrandPat Star:** Turkey bum! Eat up, sucker! [everyone begins to laugh]
* **Patrick Star:** Bone appleteeth! [laughs]
* [Koten walks to the kitchen]
* **Koten Chaneru:** Oh, is this seat taken? [points to the chair]
* **GrandPat Star:** Hold on, grandson, I think Cecil is using it.
* **Koten Chaneru:** Oh, then where is he?
* **GrandPat Star:** That dang boy has been in the bathroom since 4 o'clock in the morning and he has diarrhea again! [Scene cuts to Bunny knocking on the bathroom room]
* **Bunny Star:** Cecil? Honey? Is everything all right in there?
* **Cecil Star:** [off-screen] Oh, I think I'm about to pass a kidney stone.
* [Cuts to the bathroom, where we see Cecil sitting on the toilet and we see Okyan, Shijo, and Kyoku playing "Mannish Boy" in the bathtub while Cecil is screaming in agony. Cuts to Squidward walking towards to the Star family's house and pounds on the door]
* **Orenji Chaneru:** [answers the door] Hello, Mr. Squidward! What can I do for you today?
* **Squidward Tentacles:** I'm here about the newspaper money!
* **Orenji Chaneru:** So, uh, how much money are we talking about? [leans against the door]
* **Squidward Tentacles:** [gritting his teeth] $30,000...
* **Orenji Chaneru:** $30,000?! [counts her fingers] That's $2,000 for a Krabby Patty! [counts her fingers again] That's $800 for a Aggro Crag trophy! [counts her fingers once again] That's 1700 jump ropes from the kids at the playground down the street that pay $10!
* **Squidward Tentacles:** [annoyed] Yes... $30,000...
* **Orenji Chaneru:** That seems like a lot, but I'll check. [pulls out a bunch of dollars and begins counting] Twenty, forty, sixty... [looks at Squidward] Hey, Squidward, you're going to laugh your butt off, but... You know Mr. Krabs? He got arrested yesterday!
* **Squidward Tentacles:** What the heck that gotta do with that?!
* **Orenji Chaneru:** Okay, here's the story. The other day, Mr. Krabs won $1 million on a scratch-off ticket. But, the next day, the cops pulled him over because his plates has expired, which is not good. A few moments later, they found a stolen flat-screen TV in his vehicle, and then he was later arrested. End of story! [smiles really big]
* **Squidward Tentacles:** You just literally made that up. Now look, we're going to be here at 10:00 tonight! And if you don't have any newspaper money, all of my paperfellows are going to kill you AND your family! [points at Orenji]
* **Orenji Chaneru:** Wait, so if we get killed, does that mean our show is going to get cancelled?
* **Squidward Tentacles:** Get out of my face! [slams the door]
* **Orenji Chaneru:** Well, that can't be good...
* [Scene cuts to the dressing room, where there's a long line of people waiting in the hall]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** [signs a poster and hands to Snap] There you go, kid.
* **Snap:** Oh, boy. Signed by Yoru Chaneru. Now I'm officially part of the Yoru Chaneru Club! [walks away]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Next!
* **Orenji Chaneru:** [runs into the dressing room] Yoru, we've got a big problem!
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Not now, Orenji. I'm busy. [Squidina enters the room]
* **Squidina Star:** Five minutes, Yoru. [leaves]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Alright, fine, but make it snappy.
* **Orenji Chaneru:** TBA.