197: He's a Lot Nicer To Us When He's Pretending He's a Terrible Person

## Summary

The group continue their campaign to ridicule Ricardo Ulysses and gather puzzles for the Cryptic Crusade.

## Synopsis

The group are on their way to the puzzle competition on Cliffside, the Quarterly Crumplemeyer Cryptic Crusade in an attempt to lure out Ricardo Ulysses. Will is disguised as Ricardo and riding on Steed.

The group's *Seeming* spell has worn off, so Will hides Batthwack's crown and makes Mo look like a Dragonborn again. There is tension between Will and Batthwack, but they don't want to talk about it. Gwen raises concerns to Dew that the group don't seem like a heroic group of seasoned vampire slayers. Dew agrees, but does reassure her that he was there when they defeated Chilchirah.

They reach the wall gate and the guard recognises Ricardo from Will's disguise and allows them through without paying. The guard does say in passing that he thought Ricardo had already left town.

They make there way into Cliffside and Will is making an outrageous show, making up all sorts of ridiculous and embarrassing claims about himself as Ricardo and calling himself "Ricardo Fart Ulysses". Raphina goes into Crumplemeyer's Stationary Supplies and she is in her element. She requests a notebook and a fluorescent pen and is given a very large, leather-bound, human-sized notebook divided into 7 sections. She is awarded a puzzle, and then makes a big fuss about making another purchase, but the store owner won't let her without going to the back of the line of customers.

Outside the store Will makes an over-the-top, intentionally bad show of his (Ricardo's) thieving skills and two constables (one human, one elf) take note and make their way over. Dew covers for him but simultaneously continues the ruse, making Ricardo sound even more stupid.

Will scans the crowd for anyone looking suspiciously at him and notices a family up the street where the mother is trying to stop the father from looking at Will/Ricardo. Will uses *True Strike* to magically discern that he secretly wishes to be a thief like Ricardo.

Gwen is going up to people apologising for Ricardo's behaviour, using *Prestidigitation* to create terrible fart smells and blaming them on him.

Batthwack goes into the stationary shop while Raphina is making a scene and accidentally on purpose knocks over a shelf. He buys two pens (one for Raphina), card stock (for making a deck of cards), special paper for writing contracts on (for Will) and a black and white eraser (also for Raphina). Raphina asks about magic paper and the store owner says it's export only. They don't stock it as there are no grand wizards in town who would buy it. Batthwack is awarded a puzzle. On their way out the stationary store owner disgruntledly closes the store.

Raphina looks at her puzzle:

***"Punch and kick with deific power plus turn this to unlock***

***You'll flip round on your heads once you crack open this rock"***

Batthwack reads his puzzle:

***"Listen here, honey.***

***Wipe away those tears.***

***Ugh, disgusting - you're getting the front of you all wet, honey!"***

Gwen explains there are usually 4 puzzles in total and solutions to all of them are required to be in with a chance of winning the overall prize. Gwen has supplies she needs from Crumplemeyer's Home and Hardware and so they head over there and Gwen waits in line. Will starts another "performance" as Ricardo, putting on his *Cloak of the Bat*, strutting around in front of the store saying *"No-one can see me! This is a cloak that makes me totally invisible!"* A dwarf stops him and shoves him to the ground. Dew intervenes again with the help of Raphina, and again they help to continue the facade that Ricardo is senile. Will casts *Message* into the dwarf's head and pretends to be the Warping Scorpion, telling him he's worthless and should go home. The dwarf turns pale and blusters out of the store. Gwen buys a spatula and a whisk and is awarded a puzzle, but it turns out to be the same one that Raphina got. Will uses *Mage Hand* to knock the pot of puzzles into the air and the puzzles flutter down.

Raphina and Will manage to snag the two remaining puzzles in the confusion:

***"Look high and low, but mostly high***

***Add A + B with your eye to the green and purple sky."***

and

***"In the world as we know it***

***Start here and head widdershins***

***Take the first from the first,***

***The second from the second,***

***The third from the third,***

***The fourth from the fourth.***

***Now ignore the other two and STOP.***

***Excuse me."***

They leave the store pondering the puzzles, and Will and Dew notice a figure stood atop a roof down the street towards the wall, the silhouette of none other than Ricardo Ulysses.

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Raphina's comment about Will who, disguised as Ricardo Ulysses, is mocking himself and complimenting the rest of the party.
* The puzzles quoted above are slightly different when discovered by the players in the episode itself. They were revised later for clarity (or to help out the players who were struggling to solve them, you decide).