Steed Sees Double, Emma Gets Into Trouble

Steed Sees Double, Emma Gets Into Trouble is the first chapter in the Wombles Three.

“Don’t let them in!” said Cathy after poking her head out round the door. “Who?” asked Steed.  “Emma and Emma!  One because she wants to kill me the other because she’s in TODE!” “What?” said Steed.  “You mean ESP?  She should’ve died in the rubble!”  “I know.” Replied Cathy.  “But she didn’t.”  “What?” said Steed, and looked himself.  “Oh yes. But what are they doing together?” “Well if she has her eyes glazed over it means that ESP are controlling her.”  “She doesn’t”  “What? In that case the only explanation is that she has joined TODE!”  “Why would she do that?”  “Perhaps to make you kill me.”  “Oh ok. You make sure that they don’t get in, whilst I go and tell Mother what’s going on!”  “I’m not sure that’s a very good idea!”  Steed didn’t listen and ran to HQ.

Mother was trying to work where Ronda was last seen.  Everyone had forgotten about her it seemed, and she had been missing for three weeks!  Suddenly Steed came up.  “Mother! Mrs Peel has joined TODE so that she can make me kill Cathy!  Can you help us stop them?”  “And WHY” said Mother, “Would Mrs Peel want to make you do that?”

When Steed had finished explaining the situation, Mother knocked him out with his bowler, and said, “Steed!  You are fired!  I hate you! You stole my wife!  I will never dress like you again!”  And he went inside to get changed, with Steed still lying unconscious.  Cathy found him and said, “I told you it wasn’t a very good idea!”  Steed had woken up now and groaned.

“Where am I?” he asked.  “Back at home” replied Cathy.  “How do we get there so quick?” he asked more confused.  “Because your house is in the grounds of HQ!  You are the one who put it there.”  “Oh yes I remember everything now!  We need” said Steed being interrupted by Mrs Steed.  “Need what?” she asked.  “Not what” replied Steed.  “Do you mean a wotnot?” replied Cathy “because if you do we already have one.” “No!” said Steed “Not what who”. “Notwot hoo?” Cathy was confused now. “Who is Notwot hoo?”  Steed tried again “Who, who we need!”.  “Hooey kneed?” said Cathy “I am not hooey kneed!” “No you’re my lovely but very feisty wife Cathy Steed!  We need One Ten!”

One Ten was counting pens.  In case he needed one because he could never tell when.  Steed came in and tripped on the bin.  He fell but took it on the chin.  “One Ten we need you!  TODE are back!” said Steed.  One Ten replied “I’ll always help a friend in need!”.  They headed back to Steed’s house creeping as quiet as a mouse.

Back at home Cathy was on the phone.  “Cathy don’t you want a chair?” asked Steed.  She sat on one but tripped on a lead.  One Ten caught her and stopped her falling.  “One Ten” she said “Let’s quit the stalling.”

Bungo was outside playing with Rover.  He was throwing Steed’s dog for him to catch.  Steed ran out to get to him knocking over ESP and Mrs Peel in the process.  He didn’t see Ronda as she was camouflaged in the undergrowth.  She tried to clonk him on the head but his bowler was too hard. Ronda didn’t see Tara and Dr King in the undergrowth.  Unfortunately for Ronda she had nothing on her head.  Tara held open Ronda’s mouth open and Dr King poured in extra strong Gooseberry Cider.  Ronda passed out.  ESP ran in her own fashion into the undergrowth and away from the HQ grounds. Her left leg was twisted back to front and her right arm was just a stump.

Mrs Peel paused as if she wanted to go in with Steed, Bungo, Rover, Dr King and Tara.  She couldn’t. She just froze on the spot.  “Mrs Peel?” said Bungo.  “Mrrrrsssss Peeeeelllllll” said Rover.  She didn’t respond.  Then something odd happened.  Freckles, Steed’s dalmation, just freaked out and ran into the house. Mrs Peel poked out her tongue, panted then ran off on all fours!