Tree fucking elves

Tree fucking elves is, surprise surprise, another absurd 3 gender reproduction system. This time, involving a tree. As per usual, it is pure nonsense for the sake of unnecessary subversion and unneeded tolkienism. Why do people write this shit? Is it some sort of fetish? Who knows.

Oh and by the way, the lifetrees do have custody of the child it makes. I'm not kidding you.

## Original text

The Liberi Arborum, commonly known as
 elves, aren't birthed vaginally. Instead, they grow in wombs or eggs
hanging like fruit from trees or underwater plants. Organisms known as
Lifetrees. Elves are often called "tree fucker" by dwarves, while their
reproduction does involve trees it is in no way related to copulating
with plants of any kind.

A
Lifetree will be created by a group of elves dying through a magical
ritual, and their minds melting into one through said ritual. Each elven
 soul losing their personal identity, turning into a vaster intelligence
 lacking some elven desires and mental traits such as the need for sex.
The bodies of the elves in question become the physical foundation for
the new being. With their collective mind living inside the Lifetree.
This ascension is seen as a great honor, and very few are selected for
it. Seeing as the genetics and mental nature of the elves in question
will shape the character of all born from this tree. A single Lifetree
will father hundreds or even thousands of children throughout its
lifetime.

Once a Lifetree has been
 created, then impregnation is needed. Elves do have sex organs
identical to humans but are unable to carry fetuses within their own
bodies or give vaginal birth. Yet these sex organs are still necessary
for reproduction. When an elven man and women, or a same-sex couple,
have sex they can produce a "childseed". This happens extremely rarely,
like once every three thousand years. **The childseed is vomited forth by**
one of the elves after a short period of growth within their own body**,**
usually about a week. If the elven couple wants a child, **they will feed**
the childseed to a Lifetree**. The tree chews the childseed into tiny bits**
 and swallows it, processing its genetic material and mixing it with its
 own.

**If the childseed is**
unwanted, it will be eaten by elves **or used as an ingredient in magic,**
and no baby will be produced. Childseeds are seen as a form of luxury
food. The ethics of elves eating childseeds instead of giving it to
Lifetrees, is a contested issue. With some elven nations outlawing it,
the more extreme ones even enforcing capital punishment for offenders -
demanding that all childseeds are given to a Lifetree. Most such nations
 make exceptions for cases of rape and other exceptional situations.
While other countries maintain eating childseeds as something benign and
 legal, even keeping it as an honored tradition practiced in public.
Some inaugurate public servants into positions of power or honor heroes
through the ritualistic eating of specially prepared childseeds. The
childseed is not sentient in any shape or form, eating it is seen as
either virtuous due to it functioning as a way of hindering
overpopulation and the birth of unwanted children - or viewed as wicked
due to the lack of births contributing to the constantly falling
population rate of the elven species.

This
 process of reproductions results in all elves having three parents. The
 child is shaped by the genetics of all three parties. Different elven
cultures place varying levels of value on these parents and socially
construct parenthood in separate ways. Some give the Lifetree more legal
 rights over children than anyone else or even arrange matters such that
 the tree alone raises children, others give Lifetrees more of a
symbolic role and let the creators of the childseed carry most of the
responsibilities and honors of parenthood. Other cultures raise children
 collectively without attachment to biological parents of any kind, with
 a group of friends or lovers entering into a legal contract, obligating
 them to raise one or several children they pluck from the Lifetree.

Elven
 cultures place great moral value in their own tradition of parenthood
and usually view other arrangments than their own as dysfunctional.
Nations will regularly ban alternative family structures. Elves from
different countries often clash in heated debates over the proper role
of Lifetrees in children's upbringing or the ethics of eating
childseeds. These debates are hard for other species to relate to. The
closest equivalent for humans regarding childseed is abortion and
cannibalism, but these debates are informed by other sentiments. Humans
don't fear dying out as a species and debate whether the fetus is fully
human/sentient or not - while elves have a consensus view of childseeds
as closer to how humans in general view sperm or unfertilized eggs. The
role of the Lifetree in parenthood is sometimes compared to the debate
over same-sex parenthood or polygamy, by humans scholars trying to
explain elven culture, but this is a comparison that works very poorly.

According
 to elven myth, they once did reproduce sexually without the assistance
of trees, but this ability was taken from them by either the Aesir or
the Olympians. The precise answer as to how this went about depends upon
 which elven religious doctrine you follow. Followers of the Titans
claim that Chronos imprisonment by the Olympians caused the lose of the
"natural" way of reproduction, while worshipers of the Vanir claim that
the Aesir kidnapping Volla caused the need for Lifetrees.

Other
 theories state that elves lost the ability to carry children due to
mutations or self-imposed sterilization caused by suicidal ancestors.
Some state that they never had such a way of reproduction, to begin
with, that Lifetrees were always needed. By the way, I am not using the
term "queer" in the modern political sense of queeridentity or
queerfeminism, but in the old sense of meaning "weird"/"strange".