He is Diminished

## Description

Trapped in the belly of the beast, the Dragon Friends are forced further down into the darkness of Old Daggerford. The cult's goal draws ever nearer as friends are reunited and lost in this climactic penultimate episode of Dragon Friends.

## Synopsis

Bobby and Philge have just burst into the meeting room of the cult while standing on each other's shoulders, wrapped in a black curtain, and magically disguised as Strahd. Bobby attempts to pretend that he has arrived early as a result of the Herald giving up his eyes to open the gate. One cultist, Tuk-Tuk, looks confused that Strahd has arrived without the "Blood Of The Arch-Rival", and Bobby hops off Philge's shoulders, claiming that he has arrived stunted and "diminished" as a result of the improper summoning. He demands to be brought the blood of the arch-rival.

The Bartender of the Tattooed Man ushers in two more figures: Baston in disguise as a cultist, and Table who is newly tattooed (and who is walking on his hands because he chopped off his own legs). He also notices that Thomas Smedley is chained to an altar in the centre of the room, and Tuk-Tuk holds the "Tome of Lost Truth". As Bobby attempts to explain his appearance as Strahd, Tuk-Tuk challenges him to "perform the miracle of a thousand bats"; Baston tries to sneak over to release Smedley, but as a result of a critical failure is immediately spotted and identified as a human. In a panic, he tries to claim that he is the Herald, and then Philge throws the curtain off herself to claim that *she* is the Herald too. Bobby attempts to grab the curtain and jump across the crowd, throwing the curtain over the gnomes as he goes. Baston kicks Tuk-Tuk in the face causing him to drop the book, Philge drops down to grab the book and Table uses Pythagoras' theorem to calculate the exact distance Philge fell based on the description of the chamber (which earns him a Dice of Inspiration).

Tuk-Tuk calls for the guards; Bobby releases Smedley from his chains and Baston throws Smedley over his shoulders and all of the friends attempt to run for the door. Bobby considers barricading the door, and Table suggests that he, given his name, is destined to be used to block the door (even though there's an actual table next to him). Philge bars the door by threading Table's arms through the handles, and he delays the cultists for a few rounds before being torn apart as the cultists break the door open (his last words being "Stop looking at me, this is embarrassing!"). They find the doors back to the main bar are locked, but flee down a side door leading further into the sub-basement, into a hookah lounge where several cult members lie together with Lionshield Banknote on a hospital gurney pretending to smoke opium while actually vaping cherry bomb blast. After failing to convince the cultists to hand over their ropes, they hustle out of the chamber with Banknote (and his bed) in tow, just as Table is torn in half and transported to Valhalla (where he immediately cuts his legs off again to see if there's a second layer of Valhalla)

Fleeing through the basement, they find that the basement opens out into the sewers of Daggerford. Finding a likely escape route they hide Smedley under Banknote's bedclothes and attempt to pretend to be doctors as they burst through a door into a stable. By succeeding at a Deception DC 18 with disadvantage, Bobby persuades the stablehands to fetch towels for the patient. Lionshield attempts to tie his bed to one of the horses to create a horse-drawn carriage, but the stablehands then realize that the Friend's behaviour is inappropriate and calls for the guards. The Friends jump onto Lionshield's bed and slap the backside of the horse he tied the bed to, and the horse flees before being drawn up short by the post it is tied to.

Baston opens the main doors, revealing the sunset, but also Grimm Saltback and his band. Grimm convinces the guards to calm down and tries to ask what the Friends are doing, and Grimm suggests they head to the Dragonback Inn. Grimm is a bit suspicious of what's going on, and asks if it's something to do with the cult (which he only knows is something that shouldn't be messed with). The Friends frantically try to persuade Grimm to help them escape. Banknote, however, notices something suspicious - Grimm has blood running down his cheek. Grimm suggests they load Smedley into a waiting carriage to take them to the Inn, and Bobby is immediately suspicious that Grimm knows Smedley's name. At that point, they attempt to escape on their own horse again, and Wolfman Jack closes the stable door in front of them, as Grimm speaks:

"I really, really, didn't want it to come to this, guys. I was really hoping we could kind of avoid a lot of the unpleasantness but you've forced my hand. I was hoping you'd look surprised, my Dragon 'Friends'. I hate you! I've hated you from the moment you walked into my Inn with your quests and your bar tab and your talking, endless talking! 'Aww, I'll pay you back Grimm I'll help you Grimm I'll come to your concert Grimm I'll buy a T-shirt Grimm'! You don't understand what it took to bring you back to Daggerford. The work that I had to do, the bribes that I had to pay, the letters that I had to forge, did it never occur to you whythe Dragon Friendswould be given the *Dukeship* over *literally anything!?* Give me that ducal coin; it's chocolate! And now it seems that this is where you die, under the basement sub-stable thing at the Illustrated Man. I, finally, Grimm Saltback, me, the man who created *three* good bands two of which were disbanded for artistic reasons, will have my vengeance against that motley crew of dissident adventuring scum they call the Dragon Friends!"

## Cast

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Bobby Pancakes
* Baston
* Lionshield Banknote

### NPCs

* Tuk-Tuk
* Breen and Jaxter
* Grimm Saltback and his band: Grim Paisley, Two-Tone Tony, and Wolfman Jack Who Is Actually A Wolfman

## Trivia

* The episode opens with Dave stating that "most of the gates stand open.." but only three of the seven gates have been described as having been opened.

## Quotes

* "We were told by the Herald that you would lie in repose in the arms of your love, in the soil that confined her bones.. I'm really sorry, I don't want to sound all middle-managey, but it seemed like there was kind of a process.. we had until dawn to find the Blood of the Arch-Rival and then we would bring it to you to bring you back to life, but that's already kinda happened I guess. So is this a half-day? What's the situation?"
* "You wish to *demote* the Herald?" "I wish to fucking kigk him in the balls!"
* "Philge executes a flip-and-a-half before landing on the altar and catching the book as it drops.." "If she does a flip *and a half*, doesn't she land on her face?"
* "It sounds like a trap." "You go first, then."

## Table Talk

* At the end of the podcast recording, Dave asks a woman in the audience who had never attended before to summarize the events so far in less than a minute. "I don't even know where to start.. the halfling was on top of the half-orc under a curtain, and you guys were like undermining a Dracula and things happened, jokes, Hold the Door, our poor Goliath that I drew was stuck and I have no idea, the portal with the legs cut off, that was before, the bad stuff.." "And then we got betrayed by our long-standing friend."