Jebediah Deadwood

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## Jebediah’s Scribblins

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> ### Where did the goblins come from?
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> Drifted into a little town in the East Ridings the other day, name of Otha's rest. A nice enough place, truth be told, and seems to impose some kind of order in a pretty lawless land- it kinda reminds me of home in that regard, but not quite what I'm looking for in a retirement location. Seems like there's a fair amount of work for a bow for hire around these parts though, so suits me well enough for now.
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> Bumped into some folks looking to do a job hunting down some goblins. A motley bunch, but I've ridden with rougher sorts in my time. Though a fair few of them, turns out, were magic users. Not that I got anything against that, just gives me a minor case of the willies.
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> The halfling bard and human warrior managed to talk the guard captain into putting a good word in with the guild for us, so we might get a little more of a payday, if Tymora smiles on us. We'll wait and see. The halfling, name of Osder, seems a persuasive sort, and pretty nifty with that harp of his too. Couldn’t get much of a read on the fighter, Joshua, but he holds himself a little different to the others. Can’t quite put my finger on it though. He’s got a nice sword, and was the only one with a horse, so I’m guessing he’s pretty flush.
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> Then there was the lizardman, Artizak- reminded me a little of an orc shaman I met out in the desert this one time- set about tracking the greenskins we were after. Was him who fixed us up to go hunting the critters in the first place, and he seemed to know exactly where he was going. Soon enough, brought us to a clearing where we thought we heard voices. Some goblins, and a couple worgs they had as pets, or something. That’s when the elf, a rogueish type called Tak, snuck ahead and got the drop on them, real smooth-like, but then everybody charged in and all hell broke loose. I’ll be honest, it’d been a while since I’d had a good scrap, though I did get stuck pretty bad by a greenskin hidden up in the trees. It was nice to put Annabelle to good use though, her trigger had almost started to seize up. Note to self; oil your gods-damned crossbow, Jebediah!
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> Anyways, we killed all the goblins, despite planning to take at least one alive. Serves them right for sticking me though. We found a woman still alive, but her husband wasn’t so lucky. Reminded me of why I got out of the outlaw business, just couldn’t abide seeing what it did to ordinary folks, I guess. I found a note from someone claiming to be the “Goblin King”, but it was all in gibberish. Handed it off to the tiefling, Rumour. Weird guy, kept talking up at the sky. No idea what that was about, but seemed nice enough. Rumour did some magic (shudder), and was able to read the note and Artizak did some mumbo-jumbo that let him talk to the worgs, convinced them to take us to the Goblin King, with the help of some...questionable... meats. Probably best not to ask what those were…
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> We arrived at this big fancy house, guarded by a goblin and a couple more worgs. Tried taking them out quickly and quietly, but the worgs took a little more to bring down than we anticipated. Almost drew the attention of another goblin, but Tak shushed him up real quick. Once inside it wasn’t long before we were busted (we weren’t exactly the sneakiest bunch), but the quick-talking Rumour persuaded this bugbear to take us to their King.
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> I can tell you this much, he didn’t look much like any goblin I’d ever seen. He was taller, kinda looked a little goblinoid, but more man than greenskin. Had this fancy staff, and didn’t take too kindly to our brief attempts at negotiation. It quickly broke into another scuffle, and I only managed to get a couple of shots off before one of those goblins stuck me again, only this time I went out like a light.
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> When I came to I was underneath some kind of big lizard- nearly freaked out and attacked it, until Osder yelled at me that it was Artizak. I thought I remembered hearing music when I woke up- guess the halfling’s harp playing was better than I could’ve imagined. I’ll have to buy him a whiskey next time I see him around the tavern.
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> Anyhow, there I was, firing from cover under a giant iguana, taking out goblins left-right-and-centre, when the Goblin King started making Joshua and Osder dance some kind of...magic dance? Didn’t take long for us to take out all his minions, but there was a tense moment when the guy turned into the spitting image of Joshua, and I couldn’t get a clean shot. But he couldn’t fool the others for long, and soon enough we had him hogtied like a pig ready for market. Turns out, this “Goblin King” was a fabrication, and this feller had been duping the goblins using illusion magic, getting them to rob folks and bring him their coin and goods. We took him back to face the justice of the law- not my first instinct, but I guess I want to try and garner a better reputation than I had back at home.
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> The not-Goblin-King had this weird cloak- I got a funny vibe off of it. Maybe it’s valuable, or magical. I’m gonna keep it tucked away until I can find out for sure, but maybe I can rustle up one of my contacts from my outlaw days, see if they can point me in the direction of someone with some magical know-how. I hear Slippery Neal might be in town. Might pay him a little visit, though I expect he’ll be none too happy to see me...
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> ### We're going on a Gnoll Hunt
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> Earned a pretty bit of coin for my retirement fund the other day, hunting some Gnolls that been troubling the folks in these parts. Had the pleasure of teaming up with Joshua and Rumour again, and also a new guy, a half-orc feller name of Audric. Seemed a little fancy for my liking, but boy could he swing that axe of his!
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> Anyway, we set off on the road out from Otha's Rest and came across a burnt up caravan. Driver still alive, guy called Nak who owns a weapon shop down in Ornament, I think. Seemed mighty grateful for us patching him up, so maybe we'll get ourselves a discount if we ever find ourselves down there.
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> He was just pointing us in the vague direction of where they was attacked from, when lo and behold, a few of them hyena-faced varmints showed up and tried to add us to their list of victims. We made pretty short work of them though, and soon enough I found myself trying to recall what tracking skills I could muster so we could follow their trail. Didn't do too bad, if I do say so myself- only, we got ourselves ambushed by a hunch of actual hyenas whilst I was busy looking for tracks. And let me tell you, in those numbers hyenas are no laughing matter!
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> Needed a little breather after that, but soon after we found the Gnoll's hideout, a little cave a short ways off the path. Took out their sentries and tried to question one of them, but he was feeling none too helpful so I put him out of his misery. Probably would've caused us some trouble if we'd left him alive, and with the number of people they'd killed on the roads, I won't be losing any sleep over it.
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> We made our way inside, where the others found a bunch of potions, eyes peeled for a Gnoll the sentry had claimed was as "big as a house". Thought maybe Rumour had mistranslated that if I'm honest, but turns out he was not exaggerating- there was this gigantic Gnoll with a couple of his buddies in the last cave we found. That was a hard fight, though Joshua took most of the hits, something I might have to buy him a drink for. Man sure can take a punch!
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> I must remember to grease Annabelle's mechanism soon- the whole day it felt like none of my bolts really had the kind of oomph they usually do. But, maybe Tymora just wasn't smiling on me. Still, came out right in the end and got a decent payday, so all in all a good day's work.
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> ### Dead or Alive
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> Picked up a bounty the other day for a no-good son-of-a-bulette name of Jack Darknut. The guild didn’t have much to go on details-wise, so I figured it was time I paid my old friend Slippery Neal a visit. Heard he’d rolled into these parts recently on the run from our old crew out West after cheatin’ too many nasty folks outta their coin, and was hiding out in this roughneck joint called the Shattered Staff. So I rustled up a little bit of a posse, a feisty little gnomish feller name of Severin and a shady drow guy called Zaan, and we went to shake down old Neal for the lowdown on Darknut.
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> Now, Neal was up to his usual tricks, swindling some thugs with the old cup n’ coin switcheroo trick. I figured he’d try and pull a fast one and get outta there, and he did not disappoint- moment I threw them thugs a coin to send ‘em on their way he was halfway to the door already. Lucky thing Zaan was on guard and tripped him before he got away! After that he took a little…convincing…to dish the dirt on Darknut, but a quick re-introduction to a fully locked-and-loaded Annabelle loosened his tongue. Turns out, Darknut and his crew were planning to jack a caravan on it’s way to Ornament.
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> No sooner had he spilled the beans on Darknut than a crossbow bolt came outta nowhere and took old Slippery Neal straight in the chest! To cut a long story short, a couple of goons busted in, a fracas ensued, I plugged up Neal with and old rag and in a pinch me, Zaan and Severin had sent them to meet their maker. A note in one of their pockets was from Darknut- apparently we weren’t the first ones old Neal had told about his plans and he wasn’t best pleased, sent his boys to shut Neal up permanently.
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> So we knew Darknut’s plans, where the caravan was gonna be and when. Plain sailing, right? Guess again, cause when we got to the Inn the caravan had been and gone already! Looks like Neal’s information was a little bit outdated. We knew we had to be quick about getting after them- luckily I had Matilda saddled up already, and Zaan took no time at all to hop on one of the inn’s mounts and “borrow” it for a little while. The chase was on!
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> A little ways out of town we came across some bodies that looked an awful lot like the guards that were supposed to be guarding the caravan. Boy, does that Darknut feller work fast! We tried to take a detour through the woods, but the horses didn’t much appreciate the rough terrain and being pursued by the pack of wolves that got our scent, so we went back to the road and kept at an all-out gallop, hoping to catch the varmints before they got too far. Unfortunately we had to try and get by some bandits waiting at the side of the road. Tried to go full-pelt straight through ‘em but Matilda took a crossbow bolt and threw me. If it weren’t for Severin and Zaan coming back for me I’d probably have ended up like those guards, dead in a ditch.
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> With the bandits and wolves behind us, Severin sent his familiar to scout ahead and find out how many we’d be dealing with, and meanwhile we took a shortcut to get out ahead of them. Took a play right outta my old stagecoach robbing days- cut down a tree for a roadblock and then hit ‘em fast from all sides. Darknut didn’t know what hit him, we killed him so quick- good thing the bounty was dead or alive! His men followed suit, the ones that didn’t run away anyhow. Only one that really gave us any trouble was this orc, he was a mean one. Thought I could keep him outta arm’s reach and fill him with crossbow bolts, but orcs sure do move quick when they’re mad! Knocked me out, and would’ve finished me off if the boys hadn’t finished him first. Guess I owe them a drink or two.
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> So, when all’s said and done we came out with quite the score, some magic whatnot’s and doodads. Convinced the caravan owner some of Darknut’s boys took ‘em from his lockbox, and then claimed the bounty. Gave the horse Zaan stole back to the innkeeper, gently used but in one piece. And Neal survived too, so I still have a contact with his ear to the ground on the wrong side of town when I need one. All in all, another good day’s work, and one step closer to retiring from this business for good.
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## Appendix

### Mentions

Adventures
Make Deep River Great Again! •