Things You're Doing Wrong

"*Maybe I'm wrong and the internet doesn't need my help. I mean, after all, I'm already wrong about all kinds of stuff.*"
―Erik
Things You're Doing Wrong is the 81st lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on February 20, 2018.

## Summary

Wrong Money Salvia tries to figure out what he was doing wrong. He finds a video that teaches him he's been peeling bananas wrong. Then he finds a video from the same channel about how he's eating shrimp wrong, but the channel is actually wrong because he won't just use his hands. Then Erik eats a banana wrong.

Erik warns his students that anything they believe could actually be wrong, even how to open Nutella. But it just messes up the Nutella container so he leaves a comment warning everyone about the Cloud People. A beam hits him in the head and makes him realize he was actually wrong about the Cloud People.

The problem is that people don't like being wrong. He makes a tweet saying that they're wrong about the wage gap and it pisses off everyone. Erik claims that he's the first person on YouTube to cover this subject, but Maddox appears on hologram to tell him he's wrong. Maddox explains that being wrong can actually cause pain, and then he transitions into doing his own show, plugs his book, and hangs up.

Erik starts watching another video on things he's doing wrong. He learns that he's crossing words out wrong and looks at a list he made:

CRIMES TO COMMIT:

- ~~Hack Florida Voter Database~~

- ~~Eat neighbor's dog~~

- ~~Smuggle drugs from Zambia~~

- ~~Human Trafficking~~

- ~~Smother old woman~~

- ~~set library on fire~~

- Secretly Jizz in pants

He skips to the next item, which explains that he's been organizing his spray bottles wrong. He looks over to his crime scene clean-up kit and sees that it's a mess. Then he learns that he's been making his bologna sandwich wrong. Finally, the video tells him to pee while sitting down, but he already does that. He leaves a comment and crosses the last item off of his list.

Next he plays a video telling him what he's doing wrong in Playerunknowns Battlegrounds. The video mentions group play, so Erik joins a game and gets in an argument with Chinese players about which country is number one. Then he gets killed by a hacker and goes back to the video. Erik finds that the video is a much higher quality than the others that he watches but has less views, so he gives it the Big Money bounce with a comment.

Erik tries to cover as many what you're doing wrong videos in a comment montage. He learns that our heads are antennas and he lets Robot handle the robot voice video. The lesson is to not tell anyone they're wrong because it hurts them. Then he tells everyone that they're right about the wage gap but the replies are still awful.

## Comments

*Yo big ups boyfriend I'm just relieved to finally watch a video from Russia where someone isn't doing pull ups off of construction equipment. One love and I bet you can't do a video on how I've been eating shrimp wrong yaaaa bitch*
- Erik

*I squeezed this thing like a teenage Ted Cruz choking the life out of an alley cat for practice, and it still didn't work! That sucks cause I like to save the foils and smack them on my wall so they block out the AIDS satellite that Elon Musk has pointed at my house. I cover my dog with them too but that's because he keeps mentally trying to convince me to blow the mailman. But the only thing I'm blowing around here is blowing up the truth about 9/11 IT'S THE GODDAMN CLOUD PEOPLE, WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS? ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LOOK UP! THEY CAN MAKE PLANE SHAPED CLOUDS! OUR HEADS ARE ANTENNAS! SPREAD THE Wooh oh sorry I was wrong. Wrong about the cloud people, very wrong I sorry must go*
- Erik

*you're wrong about the wage gap*
- @commentiquette

*Took a piss sitting down while I watched this video, but it didn't work like you said it would because I just ended up with half a deuce coming out my ass and since I wasn't ready to shit it just kinda stayed there awkwardly and I had to pinch it off then wipe my ass for five hours before returning to work at my bologna sandwich shop. How about next time do a list on something useful like top 17 ways I'm bangin my wife wrong because we haven't been intimate since that Kenyan dude with all the drones was president. Anyway keep making those lists and congrats on the 23 million views from everyone's grandmas on facebook*
- Erik

*Hey thanks I haven’t seen this much work put into a video list since my ex-wife’s divorce lawyer had someone edit together all the footage from her living room spycam of me stealing tampons from her purse so I could butt chug vodka at the dinner table without our kids knowing I’m off the wagon. Hope FEMA isn't watching these tips because it'll be that much harder to hide from them in the woods once they start rounding us all up for the quarantine pits Kony 2012 England #1*
- Erik

*Hey anybody know what the emoji is where it's just words that say "I'm pregnant with your child please we need to talk" either way I replied with a poop emoji and blocked the number*
- Erik

*Tell you what else girls do wrong they grow their hair out and put it up into pretty little ponytails and make me look like an asshole when I offer to buy them a drink at the bar and they turn around to reveal its just a guy like you*
- Erik

*I FUCKIN KNEW OUR HEADS ARE ANTENNAS*
- Erik

*I'm not allowed to use the shower at my house anymore because I gave my whole family hepatitis by holding the shower head like a microphone for my farts*
- Erik

*I had to wear an eyepatch for a week cause i busted a nut into an industrial fan and it shot right back and hit me square in the peepers*
- Erik

*Thanks to this video I can now wipe my ass cleaner than Hillary Clinton wipes her email servers anytime she kills an intern for getting her coffee wrong*
- Robot

*Hey weren't you guys in an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia*
- Erik

*i feel like a gust of wind could blow this old bitch away*
- mish b

*Yeah and I feel like you could blow an entire gas station of truckers and it'd be called "Tuesday"*
- Erik

*Cool thanks you know what else I did wrong? I built a trampoline for my dog but I put it too close to this art installment I've been working on called "upside down dog shredder on a pole" needless to say that dog got two bounces in before Obama hit it with a drone strike because
he doesn't believe in the arts.*
- Erik

*you're all RIGHT about the wage gap*
- @commentiquette

## Context

1. ↑ This is a reference to the lesson Russians Dangling From Buildings.
2. ↑ Erik Hoffstad worked on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and is sometimes recognized by fans while they watch the show.

## Video

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