Picking Up Hotties While you Uber

## Overview

"Picking up Hotties While you Uber" is the 22nd episode of the Hippo Saga.

Even after signing up for a dating app, Jiko is still stressed out to the point where she's destroying the furniture. Astolfo decides to take Jiko with her on her Uber job so they can try picking up hotties. They do in fact pick up hotties, but these hotties are armed and just robbed a bank.

## Original Video Description:

Dating apps take place online. Uber takes place in your car. You do the math.

Astolfo teaches you this groundbreaking dating life hack.

#anime #animation #meme

Support the vids: https://www.patreon.com/pantsahat

Astolfo Va: https://twitter.com/CrySpy27

## Characters:

#### Main characters:

* Hippo
* Astolfo
* Jiko

#### Other characters:

* Sturdy
* Sexy Bank Robbers

## Transcript

Astolfo: Hello! Aahhh~!

Jiko: Try not to fall on my stuff.

Astolfo: Ouchy... What happened to the living room?

Jiko: Watcha mean?

Astolfo: You made it unlivable!

Jiko: I see to be managing.

Astolfo: Did you scratch up the couch?

Jiko: That's unfounded offensive cat girl slander! Plus I only did it because I'm stressed.

Astolfo: Stressed? But uh... you don't do anything

Jiko: Not true! I've been trying to do some one like, all day. These dating apps suck.

Astolfo: Oh! So that Grinder date you went on last week didn't turn into a long term relationship? *I'm shocked.*

Jiko: Wait, what? You told me this was tinder!

Astolfo: Tomato Potato.

Jiko: Those are two different fruits.

Astolfo: Regardless, I can't trust you with the furniture. *Sooo~* you're coming with me on my Uber job today. Boop~

Jiko: But I was gonna try and pick up hotties on line today!

Astolfo: The key word is '*try*'.

Hippo: Bruh, like it says in the book; build and they'll come. But these hotties are already built, so you got to be the one who comes.

Astolfo: What?

Jiko: No! He's right! All these dating apps have the same problem. They take place online and not in my car with the doors locked. We've just been using the wrong apps! You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Astolfo: You wanna try picking up hobbies while Ubering?

Jiko: You know it, brotha! Dab me up!

Astolfo: Hello~! It's me! Your Uber driver! [**Giggle**] Whoa~

Jiko: Oh frick, they're hot!

Astolfo: Yeah, I've been flooring past any 7's and belows.

Jiko: You know how much I love maids, right?

Astolfo: Well you do hate cleaning up after yourself!

Jiko: Yeah, so don't ruin this for me!

Astolfo: Don't worry! I'll put on the charm. Hey honey melons! Why don't you and that boy bustin' out his spats come park your dump trucks in the back?

Jiko: What the frick was that!?

Girl Robber: ... Okay!

Boy Robber: Wait! Does this car have enough seats?

Astolfo: Yeah, I just added them.

Boy Robber: Cool!

Astolfo: So, do you need any help with your luggage?

Boy Robber: No. We're good.

Astolfo: Okay Jiko. We got two hotties in the back. Time for you to shoot your shot!

Jiko: Right now? In person?! Why couldn't we just do this online?!

Astolfo: Come on! They're either gonna say yes or no! That's a fifty-fifty shot. And since there's two of them, that's a solid one hundred! You just gotta be the alpha wolf you are! Awooooo~! You got this.

Jiko: You're right. Lemme try. Hey! Do you guys like monster trucks or tractors? It's an open ended question.

Girl Robber: This is going to be a silent Uber ride.

Jiko: I think my shot got out shooted.

Girl Robber: Talk again, and you're getting one star!

Astolfo: But I need my five stars!

Hippo: Bruh, you about to get five stars like it's GTA!

Girl Robber: Get us out of this!

Astolfo: Jiko! You're going to have to flirt with the cop!

Jiko: What? Why me? You're way better than this!

Astolfo: Because I believe in you! You might have struck out earlier with the hotties, but... you didn't fail! You only fail when you give up!

Jiko: You just don't wanna pay the ticket.

Astolfo: You think these 22-inch gold plated rims are cheap? *I'm broke!*

Jiko: Fine, I'll do it.

Sturdy: You know why I pulled you over today?

Astolfo: Oh, why did you forget?

Sturdy: I'm sure I can think of somethin'. Uh... That couch don't have no seat belts, you were doin' about a hundred in a school zone, and there's uh, giant bag of stolen cash in the back with the two heavily armed anime girls? Yer lookin' at about a, uh, fifty dollar ticket.

Astolfo: Pssst! Jiko! Flirt with them!

Jiko: Uuuh... Uh... Do you like monster trucks and/or tractors?

Sturdy: Ma'am, as a matter of fact I do. You just might be "waifu" material.

Jiko: What?

Girl Robber: You bout' to see yes.

Astolfo: Aww, I think they're a cute couple!

Hippo: Bruh, did she really just get married to get out of a 50 dollar *ticket?*

## Trivia

* This episode originally had a different thumbnail, but it was unknown why it was changed (It was probably too sexy for YouTube).