1. DIXI: Series 1, Murder She Vlogged

Shari loves posting to her social media account - but when it gets hacked and defaced, she sets out to catch whoever 'murdered' her profile.

## Murder She Vlogged

### Episode Transcript and Timing

Hey, it's Shari! And if you're one of my Dixi friends, you know that

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I like vlogging about my life and what I'm doing.

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Elbow solo.

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-I film my friends...

-R-r-r-ibbit!

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..and my family... That was my brother, Syd.

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HE MIMICS CHEWBACCA Syd!

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'Ooh, new friend request! Lady Akhali... Who's she?'

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OK, no idea what that means or who she is,

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but hey, you can never have too may friends, right?

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Come on in, Lady Akhali.

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Make yourself at home and try some of my delicious vlogs.

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Hey, it's Shari! And this is bus rollercoaster!

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THEY SCREAM

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And this is...magic.

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-Ha!

-Ooh!

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And this is coming back from a 3D movie!

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Ha! Huh?

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Hey, guys... These glasses work here too.

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It's like the whole WORLD is 3D!

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Whoo!

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Hi! And welcome to Prom Make-up Tips, with Shari!

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Today, I'm going to show YOU how to stand out from the crowd

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and not be a "Me Too Mimi".

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CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

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Argh! I think I've got face cramp!

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Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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I'm covered in blood!

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Time to upload a new vlog.

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Incorrect password? But it can't be!

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I bet this is something to do with Syd.

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-Syd! What's wrong with the Wi-Fi?

-Go away!

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That's just his way of saying, "Come in!"

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Syd... Syd! Is the internet down?

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-Yes, the internet is broken...

-But you're online.

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You made me die! Now I have to sit through a respawn lag.

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-What do you want?

-I can't get onto Dixi.

-Ooh!

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How will people know what you had for lunch?

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Yeah, I use it for a lot more than that, actually.

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But I can't get on because you're using all the Wi-Fi.

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-You really have no idea how it works, do you?

-Oh, whatever.

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All I know is that I can't sign in to Dixi

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because of your stupid computer game.

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Yeah, it's a lot more complex than that, actually.

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It's a combination of strategy, teamwork

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and hand-to-eye coordination.

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Like I said, computer game. Anyway, can I try Dixi on your computer?

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DOOR SLAMS

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That'll be a "No" then.

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Shari, Don't put your laptop there. We're about to have dinner.

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Oh, I won't take long. It's just there's a problem with the Wi-Fi in my room.

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-Why would it be better in here?

-Oh, because it's closer to...

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Oh, I don't know, I'm just trying anything.

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ERROR MESSAGE PINGS

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All the other sites are loading but not Dixi.

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Maybe a sign, telling you to get off the laptop and do something useful, like set the table.

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Good one, Mum. Ooh, Isla's calling. PHONE RINGS

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Try not to do the embarrassing parent thing.

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-Zo-M-D, Shari, Have you been on Dixi?

-No, I can't log in.

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-I think the server's down.

-Nuh-uh!

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Sign in as me and go to it that way.

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SHE TYPES QUICKLY

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SHE SQUEALS

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"Check out my makeover for the prom?"

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I don't really get what that means, cos it looks horrible.

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I'll tell you what it means. Murder!

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SCREAMING

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But even worse, 47 people gave it a thumbs up.

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Aw, thanks, Isla!

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And, erm, Murdo, it IS harsh.

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And I haven't even thought of that, JadeSweetAvocado.

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Whoever did this can upload ANYTHING. That's why I have to catch them.

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-Who would do that to you?

-I know, right? I'm adorable.

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-Your brother, maybe?

-That's what BlueGreenFizzyStarfish said.

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"Because he hates annoying little sisters."

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Oh, I thought of that.

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But... He's got a pretty watertight alibi.

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You really think I've got time to waste on your dozy page?

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I'm in the middle of a massive mission with my guild.

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Die, half-spawns!

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We should still bring him in for questioning.

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-We could do good cop, bad cop.

-I'll be bad cop.

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And Syd can be fit cop.

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How is Syd a cop if we're questioning him?

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And if anyone's fit cop, it's Zane.

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Use your brain, just ask Zane.

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I just mean objectively. But more importantly, ew!

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Syd's my brother, so, ew!

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But we ARE looking for a computer genius because whoever did this must

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have some major hacking skills to crack my password.

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-Not really, I know it.

-And me. How many people did you tell?

-No-one.

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Just you two. And Tuyen.

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Hi, Tuyen!

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And the dinner lady with the eyebrows.

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But that was only so she could look at my cousin's kitten photos.

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Oh, and my cousin. But that's it. Like I said, no-one.

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MESSAGE PINGS I'm completely locked out.

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I've tried to reset the password but it doesn't recognise my e-mail.

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-So, just start a new account.

-Oh, I have.

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-I made a new page called The Dixi Murder!

-Nice!

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-And not overdramatic at all!

-My whole life is on there.

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You're all off the grid but I'm totally on it.

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I'm not giving up on my old page. BEEPING

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-Uh-oh!

-What-oh?

-Chloe's added a comment...

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"Ha-ha, big improvement!" And it's got 67 thumbs up.

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-She gets ALL the thumbs!

-72 just for eating toast?

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Don't you see what this means? She must be the one who haxed you.

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-Evidence feels a bit flimsy?

-No, it all makes sense.

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She never comments on my page and she is a total beehive.

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Hey, it's Shari, and this is Shiny Floor Sock Slide.

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-Careful, Shari. You should really watch where you're going.

-Ouch!

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I had a doorknob-shaped bruise for weeks!

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-Guess it's game over for your old account.

-Why?

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Chloe's untouchable.

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Netball captain, Student Council President,

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-Prom Committee Vice-chair...

-Taking her on would be social death.

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I am not afraid of Chloe.

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I'm SCARED of her but I'm not AFRAID.

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You don't have any proof it was her.

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If you come at the Queen, you'd best not mess.

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I don't really get what that means.

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It means I'll get proof but I need you to help me.

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Because I'm taking Chloe down.

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Believe me, Tuyen, scary doesn't even come close.

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And you do have a point OliveSmellyCentaur,

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it is suspicious the way Lady Akhali just showed up.

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But I don't even know her, so my prime suspect is still Chloe.

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Hey, it's Shari on the bus and I'm on my way to get Chloe to admit

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she's the one who haxed me. Chloe is basically my nemesis.

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You don't have a nemesis. You're not a magic time-travelling Doctor.

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-She's really mean to me.

-She's mean to everyone.

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And she's never given any of my vlogs a thumb.

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Maybe she just didn't like them.

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No, they were very good vlogs and also, she's not on the bus.

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As soon as I begin investigating. That's suspicious.

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-That's coincidence.

-What are you two talking about?

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About how I'm going to tell Chloe I know she's the one who haxed me.

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-That's brave.

-Particularly as you have zero evidence it was her.

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Chloe is mean to Shari.

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Remember when she posted a photo of a toilet and tagged it Shari?

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She tagged, like, 17 people in that picture.

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And that she gave you a thumbs up for accidentally writing you

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-were feeling "poositive".

-Loads of people gave that a thumb.

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It was really funny. Chloe does mean stuff to everyone.

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-She doesn't do it you.

-She does.

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When I accidentally called Miss Lupin "Mum", she told the whole class.

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But she couldn't write it on my Dixi

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because I've got my privacy settings locked down.

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Something to think about?

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Yeah, well, I like sharing on Dixi and I loved my old Dixi page.

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And now it's just covered in horrible photographs of me

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with moustaches and blacked-out teeth.

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I'm not letting Chloe get away with this.

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I just need to get this PROOF that you're so obsessed with.

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-You could look at her phone.

-Erm, Murdo, privacy settings?

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These seats are pretty close together.

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But all I'm saying is, every site she's been on will be on her phone's browser history.

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That's the list of websites she's visited.

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Erm, I know what browser history is. That's genius. And thanks, Murdo!

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I can help you and Eve with your investigation, maybe? If you want.

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I understand what you're going through.

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The whole reason I started learning about programming

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and anti-virus software was

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because my little brother used my computer once and afterwards,

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my screen was covered with pop-ups about Pokémon and...

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And My Little Pony.

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-ZANE:

-Friendship is magic!

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Come on, bruv, I've got some of them breakfast bars you like.

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They're out of date but it's "best before", not "use by".

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-Murdo fancies you.

-Murdo? Please!

-Don't be harsh.

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Well, better for Murdo if he doesn't because Shari blates fancies Zane.

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Erm, no, I don't and shhh, he'll hear you!

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-ZANE:

-Hi, Shari.

-Oh, hi, Zane...

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Do you want some atomic sours?

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-They're 2p each but for you, one and a half...

-(Oh, my days!)

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-Hey, wait. Check this out.

-What?

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It's the very first thing the hacker did. It says when it was posted.

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4:07pm, Friday.

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Whoever it was was on Dixi at that time!

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-Are you filming me?

-No, I was just checking that the screen was clean.

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-Do you love me or something?

-Ha-ha!

-No, Chloe. We don't love you.

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Look, we just want to know what you were doing 4:07 last Friday.

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-I was at the Prom Committee.

-Did anyone see you there?

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The Prom Committee? Stalky! No more questions.

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That's that, then. We'd better let it go before you make her really angry.

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-You wouldn't like her when she's angry.

-I don't like her NOW.

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-But you're right. I'm letting it go.

-Good.

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Because for a moment there, I thought

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your next move would be to try Murdo's idea and steal her phone.

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You're going to steal her phone, aren't you?

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Yes. Yes, I am!

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Hi, my name's Chloe and this is my talent audition.

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SHE TAP DANCES

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Mimi, my feet! Film my feet!

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-Oh!

-What's all that noise?

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Oh, Chloe, it's you. Never mind, carry on.

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It's very good, by the way.

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