Geronimo Von Jutenheim

## Summary

Geronimo Von Jutenheim was the bass guitarist/kick drummer for the band Redball, joining after being kicked out of nearly other professional field due to his incompetence.

## Birth

Geronimo was born to Greek royalty in the middle of a battle as a part of a coup. His family was deemed no longer royalty the day after his birth, and the family was forced to migrate to Romania where they became shepherds.

## Young Life

At the age of 12, Geronimos family attempted to teach him how to farm. However, he completely failed at guiding the sheep in the right direction, instead accidentally guiding them towards his family, causing them all to die by trampling. After living alone for weeks, eating the corpses of his relatives for sustenance, a travelling stranger picked him up on his horse and rode him to London, where he left him in a very expensive boarding school and paid his tuition for the rest of his childhood.

## Medicine

Coming out of high school, he had the technical qualifications to immediately jump into an internship at a hospital as a doctor. After being refused from his first batch of schools he had applied to on account of a refusal to get vaccinated, he made the logical choice to apply to more and more schools, until he had been rejected from every school in Britain, and was promptly permanently blacklisted across the world from medical fields due to a high probability of him lying and/or faking to get a position.

## Organized Crime/Real Estate/Locksmithing/Home Maintenance/Construction/Government

Since he was out of a job, had the qualification to be a real estate agent and his heritage, Geronimo was approached by the Greek Mafia to play a major role in a massive illegal housing market scam which effectively bankrupt an entire large neighborhood in Manchester. Housing markets scams are incredibly complex, but ultimately, Geronimo got everyone involved caught, and was banned from locksmithing, most home maintenance jobs, construction, real estate, owning land of any sort, any government position and any sort of organized crime.

## Kitchen Work

Geronimo, after a short stint in prison, got a job as a cook at a very large family owned restaurant, where he was actually quite successful. He rose in rank over six months until they offered to allow him to create a dish. Geronimo decided to make a creative dish using often wasted parts of food, so he opted to create an "Apple Seed Pie", a pie made of various fruit seeds and pits (Primarily apple). The night it was revealed, every customer in the restaurant was taken into hospital for cyanide treatment, and 50% (95) of them died. On a technicality he couldn't be criminally charged, but he was blacklisted from any food related job permanently.

## Driving

Geronimo was able to pass his drivers test (After some heavy bribery) and get a job as a taxi driver. However, on his second ever job, he ran a red light and killed two US senators who were visiting on business, both at the same time. This got his license revoked permanently and he was blacklisted from driving careers, including driving of planes and boats.

## Childcare

Quickly running out of fields, Geronimo felt as if he had no skills, like a child, which gave him the idea to get into childcare. He decided to rack up some babysitting experience, and offered to babysit his neighbors 3 year old son, Jarius . As it turned out, childcare was a lot harder than Geronimo thought as Jarius was having a tantrum, so he gave him a cigarette to calm them down. Jarius really liked them, so Geronimo let him smoke a whole pack. When the neighbor came home, they saw that Jarius was calm, and hired Geronimo several more times, where Geronimo used the same trick every time. However, the mother became concerned as Jarius was coughing and seemed sick all the time, and eventually Geronimo was busted when she found a half a pack under the child's pillow. The mother reported Geronimo to the DfE, and he was permanently blacklisted from any type of job involving children.

## Garbage Man/Church Positions

Geronimo, hearing that a garbage man was a low skill job, thought it would be perfect for him and applied. However, due to his misunderstanding of the job description, he broke into peoples houses and took whatever he deemed as garbage and brought it to the garbage truck. One thing he deemed as trash was any and all religious texts. He was quickly discovered, fired, and since the story made the news, all the churches found out about his actions and also blacklisted him.

## Cashier

Geronimo decided to try a job recruitment site, and was given a position as a cashier at a local construction/work clothing store. Within his first week of the job, an armed robber robbed the store at gunpoint. His coworkers managed to nearly apprehend the robber, but, reminiscing over his time as a criminal, Geronimo decided he "wanted to go halvsies" with the robber and beat up several of his coworkers and helped the robber to escape with the money. The robber proceeded to shoot Geronimo in the leg and run away with all of the money, leaving Geronimo to be arrested and sent to prison for six months.

## Laundromat Worker

In prison, Geronimo was able to pick up a job as a laundry worker. However, after being rejected from joining a local gang, Geronimo stole some laundry detergent pods and poisoned the food of the gangs leader with them, killing him. Prison guards more or less turned a blind eye since he was a gang leader, but he was blacklisted from any work where he'd have direct easy access to poisonous chemicals. He was also forcibly transferred to a different prison for his own protection.

## Theoretical Physicist

Coming out of prison, Geronimo found an opening as a theoretical physicist, which he was qualified for because of his degree. He was invited to work on a highly experimental bleeding edge black hole simulation machine. On his first day on the job, he dropped a pen into the machine, disrupting it and nearly causing the machine to swallow the entirety of the solar system. He was promptly fired and blacklisted from any job using any form of high tech machinery beyond a simple computer.

## Computer Scientist

Upon hearing about how he was blacklisted, Geronimo took that as a suggestion to work in computer science. He had a very hard time finding a position, but eventually found a job with an antivirus company as a tester. Geronimo misunderstood the release instructions and accidentally released a computer virus that caused massive overheating in computers, which quickly infected the World Stock Exchange and caused a six hour stock market crash. He was then fired and blacklisted from any job using basically any internet connected device.

## Gas Station Attendant

Geronimo, having tried high level, high education careers, wanted to try something simpler, so he applied as a gas station attendant and got the job. The first car he served, he smoked while pumping, then dropped the cigarette as he walked to his booth for change, causing a large explosion broke all of his ribs. He was blacklisted from any job involving flammable materials.

## Professional Athlete

Geronimo, seeing the Olympics were coming up, tried to apply, but literally asked in his application where he was supposed to pick up his steroids. He was quickly blacklisted from all athletic fields.

## Train Conductor

Geronimo was able to get a job as a train conductor due to his schooling, but was fired before his first job when he was found graffiting his own train, claiming he thought they were all supposed to look like that and he was doing "repairs". Fearful he would mess with the moving parts next, he was fired and blacklisted from the industry.

## Painter

Geronimo tried a career as an independent artist, and got a model in so he could draw her. The model went missing under mysterious circumstances, and though nobody could prove Geronimo killed her, many theorize he accidentally snapped her neck while positioning her head for the painting. These conspiracies barred him from half of the visual arts world.

## Film Crew

Geronimo, still feeling artistic, decided to join up on a film crew. He was hired and started out as a boom mic operator, and was fired from three different sets for smashing actors in the head with the mic, including causing one skull fracture. After that, he was banned from film work altogether, ending his career in the visual arts.

## Factory Worker

Geronimo, having been banned from so many fields, had a very bad resume, and decided the best place to go were jobs so dangerous nobody else wanted to do them, and he found just that in the form of a budget mouse and rat poison company, Randolph's Rattery, where he was hired as an inspection time manager. His role was to cover up the illegal, unsafe and unethical activities happening at the factory whenever government inspectors came. However, the day of the inspection, while putting fake proper piping over the real stuff as a decoy, he noticed a leak, and some fluff came out. He sniffed and tasted the fluff, and was quickly rendered unconscious. Because he was asleep, he was unable to cover up the factory, and the health and safety inspector saw the illegal activities, leading to the collapse and violent conflicts between the factories owners, most notably Randolph Schultz. Due to his low position in the company, Geronimo was not criminally charged, however he was officially blacklisted from any job where government health and safety inspections were required.

## Band

Having gained a somewhat legendary reputation as not good at any work, Geronimo was seeked out and found by Ex-Shaolin Monk/Current Musician Trex May, who offered Geronimo a spot in his upcoming band, Redball. Having no other choices of careers, Geronimo agreed and joined the band.