TRP: Asenka, Goro, Hansel, and Mishka (Snow)

**Lina:**

 [Setting: The castle, night 156.]

He felt bad for leaving, but he was too fucking hot, even
with his feet sticking out from under the covers. He wasn't sure how he'd
tolerated this so much better on the ship, seeing as that was in a hotter
climate, and it was goddamn snowing outside here. Maybe he just needed more
time to get used to it.

His ears were bugging him, too. The new earrings Ombre had
helped him with hurt like a bitch. He wasn't even sure he liked them, when he
saw himself in the mirror. Looked like he was trying too hard. He'd just always
liked the way they looked on other people, and decided to give it a go himself,
but it felt like a fucking joke now. Didn't want to take them out, though.
Might hurt Ombre's feelings. She'd been so excited to help him.

He waited until Hansel had rolled over and had both arms around
Mishka, and then he slipped out of bed, put his shoes and robe on, and tiptoed
out.

He went into the empty bedroom across the way, the one he'd
told everyone was set aside for Amari, if she ever changed her mind. He stepped
out onto the balcony, relishing the rush of cold, and the peaceful silence the
snow brought as it blanketed everything.

**Coyote:**

 The last of the warmth drained from the air. Before, it was
pleasantly chilling, but suddenly it was piercingly cold. The silence grew heavy.

Distantly, there was the sound of someone humming-- an odd
lullaby, something that sounded familiar to Goro, like something his mother
would've hummed. Something lilting, like Elvish.

Then a woman appeared, sitting on the railing. She resembled
Mishka strongly; they had the same eyes, the same pointed features, the same
freckles. The same ash-blond hair.

Her throat was cut. Blood trickled down her neck, staining
the front of her white dress. She seemed completely fine with it, though, as
though it caused her no pain.(edited)

**Lina:**

 Goro stumbled backward, almost tripping over the threshold
but grabbing himself in time on the doorframe. He yanked up a sleeve and began
pinching himself savagely, then dug his fingernails in for good measure. He
glanced around, checking the dark room behind him, half hoping someone else had
come in after him for some reason.

He looked back at the creature in front of him, whispered a
prayer and gestured over his heart, detecting evil. It was an undead of some
sort. Joan had said she'd smelled one. Goro reached into his pocket and closed
his fingers around the amulet he carried, the one which bore Mask's holy
symbol.

But he didn't pull it out yet.

Damn, did this bitch look familiar.

"Hello," Goro tried.

**Coyote:**

 "Are you alright, sweetheart?" the woman said. She
curled her legs under her, crossing them delicately.

**Lina:**

 Goro spread his hands and looked around in disbelief.
"Is this really not a dream? What the fuck is going on?"

**Coyote:**

 She laughed delicately. It was a sweet, tinkling sound.
"Ah, I'm sorry. It didn't occur to me that-- ah. Right." She waved
her hand, dismissed the blood. Straightened her clothes. She seemed normal now,
more human. She offered her hand to Goro. "My name is Asenka. You are
delighted to meet me, I'm certain, since I am delightful. And I wish to speak
with you, Goro Flatflower."

She had the same lilting accent as Mishka.(edited)

**Lina:**

 Goro smiled at her hand, but didn't take it. "So nice
to meet you, Miss Haeth."

**Coyote:**

 "Ahaha. Ah, that's charming. That's fucking
charming," Asenka said. "You do know who I am. How did you--? I mean,
is the resemblance that strong, or did my darling mousie tell you about
me?"

**Lina:**

 "I made an educated guess," Goro said. Holy symbol
was still in his pocket, if things got ugly. "I don't actually know who
you are. I don't know anything about his family. Sister?"

**Coyote:**

 "Oh, he didn't tell you. Well. I'm unsurprised, given
as you're likely next. You or that stupid brute."

**Lina:**

 Goro raised his eyebrows, and cracked half a smile. He let
out a little disbelieving laugh. "Oh? Oh. Tell me more."

**Coyote:**

 "Oh?" Asenka said. "Ah, I didn't think this
far ahead, to be honest. Sort've an impulse, popping over here and talking to
you. Saw you leaving and decided to follow. Mm. Hm. What part shall I tell you
first. Well-- in case we're interrupted-- I'll start with the most important
part, I suppose."

She slipped of the railing, set her feet in the snow.

"You have two lovers waiting on you in bed," she
said. "If they come to find you, I'm afraid I'll have to run. We may only
have a few minutes. If we are separated and you wish to speak to me again, then
go somewhere quiet, alone, and hum an elven lullaby, and I'll come speak to
you."

She rested her ice-cold hand against his arm.

**Lina:**

 "Ooh. Fucking intriguing, that. If we don't have much
time, cut to the fucking chase, alright?"

Holy symbol in his pocket. Holy symbol in his pocket.

**Coyote:**

 Asenka said, "I see you're a man of business. Pity. I'd
rather take my time with you." She let her hand drop.

"Mishka has a long history of bewitching people and
then stabbing them in the back," she said. "But you've noticed that,
I'm certain. Our mother said he was sick in the head. I thought she was wrong.
My sweet, darling little mousie. Have you seen the way he pulls apart those
cinnamon rolls? I used to catch him pulling the wings off insects. Then he'd
set them down and watch them crawl away, trying to get away from him. Then he'd
catch them again-- and start pulling off their legs."

**Lina:**

 Goro studied her closely. Something off about her--like the
afterlife was fucking with her head, or something. She might not be the most
reliable reporter, but... yikes, anyway.

"Well. Who doesn't enjoy a little insect torture, now
and then."

**Coyote:**

 "Well, naturally. See-- you say that, like it's
nothing, but I can read you," Asenka said. "You think it's fucking
weird. You should be fucking scared of him."

She said, "Mishka left home when he was sixty. I
thought good for him, he'll be happy out there in the world. And then a couple
decades later, I found out he murdered his own fucking boyfriend because he got
bored of the poor lovestruck bastard."

She rested her hand on the railing. "Sickening, how
sweet he is to that half-orc, right? He used to keep pets. Rabbits and mice and
weasels. He usually only kept one or two at a time. He'd dote on them for a
couple years, let the poor thing sleep in his bed, care for it so delicately
and sweetly. Pamper the poor fucking thing. Then one day he'd forget about it
and leave it to starve to death in its cage. Screaming for him to come let it
out. One time I found a rabbit he forgot about. It tried to gnaw through the
steel bars and broke its teeth."

**Lina:**

 "Oh yeah? How old was he, then?"

**Coyote:**

 "Twenty," Asenka said. "Thirty. Forty. He
went from insects to rats to weasels to rabbits to cats. And then, I suppose,
to Aleksei." She tilted her head. "To his credit, Aleks lasted longer
than the cats."

**Lina:**

 "You said you didn't believe it, though. You said you
thought your mother was wrong. So tell me what hand you had in all that. So
concerned about those poor bunnies, were you? You'd pop in every few months to
check on their welfare?"

Aleksei. Aleks. First, Mishka had said the dragon ate him.
Then he said the dragon killed him indirectly. Then he said it was his fault,
how Aleks died.

**Coyote:**

 Asenka watched him. Pausing, shifting back. Recalculating.

She said, "He's so charming, isn't he? When I saw him doing
it, I made up excuses for him. I told myself he must've had good reason, or
that he regreted it, or he'd changed. He wept when I found their corpses. He
was so kind and trustworthy to me, I kept telling myself. I kept telling myself
he was different now, or he'd just made a mistake. It's fascinating. He
tortured those poor beasts right in front of me, and yet I still let him talk
me into trusting him."

She said, "Fascinating, isn't it. How he broke and
tortured that half-orc. Happened right in front of you."

**Lina:**

 "Oh, yeah. I saw the whole thing happen. Still haunts
my nightmares." He half-smiled, again.

**Coyote:**

 Asenka tilted her head and stared him down. "And there
you are, lying in his bed."

**Lina:**

 Goro glanced over his shoulder, then stepped forward,
leaning in conspiratorially. "Well, you know, I gotta get revenge for him
somehow. For Hansel I mean." He jerked his chin at Asenka. "What'd he
do to you?"

**Coyote:**

 "Oh, you'll like this," Asenka said. "It's a
wild story. He murdered Aleksei. They sent paladins after him, and he bolted.
And I thought, oh, no, not Mishka!" She laughed that tinkling laugh again.
"I thought: I couldn't judge him. Perhaps Aleksei deserved it, or Mishka
had to kill him, somehow. Somehow. Kept fucking making excuses for him."
Her nails dug into the railing. Blood seeped from her nails. Her eyes burned,
focused on Goro.

"He came back to Alabaster," she said. "He
strangled me in my sleep. Next to my husband. And then he cut my throat to make
sure I was dead."

**Lina:**

 Goro let out a breath and took a step back. So very shaken.
"Oh, god. I'm... I'm sorry to make you relive it. I can imagine, though.
His eyes--he must've taken a sadistic glee in it, yes? He must have looked so
happy to be doing it."

**Coyote:**

 Asenka's expression shifted.

Another long pause, recalculating. Watching Goro. This
approach wasn't working. She was doing something wrong or she was missing
information, somehow.

She had been listening to them for a few days. The arguments
and the confessions. There were lists of people he wanted to kill in his room,
pinned on the wall. Mishka's name was written on the kill list and crossed out.

She'd listened to him talk to Mishka down in the dungeon.
And she'd thought: He'll kill Mishka for me. I just need to give him a reason.

But something was wrong here. She'd misjudged the situation,
somehow.

"He was weeping," Asenka said distantly, without
thinking about it.

**Lina:**

 "Oh." Goro nodded. He slid his hand back into his
pocket. "Yes. I bet he was. I bet he fucking loved you, you psychotic
bitch."

He pulled out his holy symbol and held it up between them,
and began to pray in Celestial.

December 29, 2018

**Coyote:**

 Asenka felt magic wash over. Paused, stiffening.

Then she snarled, her lips pulling back from her teeth. She
dove for Goro, slamming into him, knocking him to the ground. His head cracked
against the ground. Her fingers dug into his throat as she began to drain the
life out of him.

She fought to choke him as hard as he could. Keep him from
getting air, keep him from screaming.

**Lina:**

 Goro thrashed against her until her grip on his throat
loosened. He jammed the heel of his hand against her face and shoved her off.
He sat up and screamed as loud as he could. Scrambling back a few feet, he
pointed his finger at her and said another prayer. A flash of light streaked
out and struck her in the chest.

**Coyote:**

 Asenka staggered. Her form rippled and twisted. She spat
blood in his eyes, then dove for him again. Eighteen years of rage and insanity
burning in her eyes.

She pinned him to the floor again. He thrashed beneath her,
but she dug her fingers in tighter. All the color drained from his face, and
his muscles went slack. He trying to throw her off, though. Kept trying to
scream.

But she was angrier, this time. He couldn't get enough
breath.

"I wanted to like you," she whispered viciously as
he began to die. "Such a vicious little animal. Untrained little bitch.
You should've just listened to me. You should've just done what I fucking told
you. Now you're going to die. And then-- then I'm going to raise you. I can do
that. I can rip the soul out of you. That'll be fun. I'll take your body and
hide it somewhere, maybe the waredrode. And then you and me-- you and me, we'll
attack him and kill him, we'll--"

**Izzy:**

 Hansel was on his feet with his trident in his hand before
his eyes had even opened. He registered Mishka right alongside him, moving as a
unit, about the time they both made it to the room across the hall, and that
Goro hadn't been in bed with them about the time he saw him on the floor.

Just inside from the balcony, on his back, with -- someone
ash-haired and familiar leaning over him, digging fingers into him as he turned
pale and choked on his breath. There wasn't time to think about who the
intruder was, or why she was there, or what the fuck was happening.

She was killing Goro.

He could've thrown his trident if they'd been further away,
but he just charged instead, because he need to fucking remove this bitch,
personally, with his bare hands if fucking possible, from anywhere near Goro.
He would fucking tear her apart. He assumed that Mishka was behind him, and
would try to not fireball them all -- use his rapier, maybe, but keep his
distance, because this was what Hansel did. This was what he was for.

He braced his trident against his left side like a jousting
lance, aiming for her chest, shoving all of his weight behind it -- he'd
cracked sternums before; it wasn't as difficult as it seemed -- and throwing
himself down on one knee to get the barbed silver prongs in at the right angle
to stab into her. At the same time, his right hand made a fist in Goro's robes,
near his shoulder, moving to jerk him back, just -- fucking try to get him away
from her. Mishka could take the fight over from there, and Hansel would stay
with Goro, stabilize him -- he knew more about healing than Mishka did -- or if
this first hit took care of her, then Mishka could quickly get Roddy, or Luci,
or Joan, and -- now that he was up close, why did she look so fucking much like
Mishka.

**Coyote:**

 Hansel knocked her off Goro. The silver trident buried in
her chest, and she shrieked. Either in rage or pain. Mishka viciously thought:
good. Kill the bitch.

Mishka was goddamn prepared for this. ’What if an intruder
breaks into the castle and starts trying to murder my loved ones?’ was a
scenario he thought about several times a day. He didn’t have his rapier, but
he had a dagger, and he had magic.

And then Mishka saw her face, and it felt like someone had
slipped ice down his back.

Asenka.

Asenka.

He remembered sitting in her lap as a child, learning to
read. Remembered gentle hands on his face. Calm and sweet voice. Wry humor and
double-talking.

Mishka couldn’t move. “Asenka?” he managed. And then she
bolted. She dove over the balcony and landed on the ground lightly, as though
she weighed nothing. Fuck. Fuck! Mishka grabbed the railing. Fuck, he needed to
go after her.

But—Goro.

Lying defenseless and half-dead on the ground. Couldn’t
leave him. Had to stay and help protect him, for some reason. But— he had to
follow Asenka. She needed help. But—Goro. But— Asenka! Mishka shoved himself
away from the railing.

“Is he dead?” Mishka said roughly.

**Izzy:**

 The dragon called me back, Mishka said, and asked me who I
loved most. And I said my sister. Asenka. And I killed her, when he told me to.

No time to think about it. He couldn't fucking stop, though,
and it screamed in the back of his head -- Mishka's sister, Mishka's dead
sister, Mishka's dead sister who he'd been forced to murder -- in the castle
(undead? resurrected? never dead in the first place, somehow? someone else
entirely, disguised as her [why, who, how {disguise self, alter self,
polymorph? fucking magic, he didn't know}]) -- in the middle of the night, on
the top floor, trying to kill Goro, flipping over the balcony to escape like it
was nothing.

He let the thoughts scream at him and pressed fingers
against Goro's throat, feeling for a pulse, finding it weak under his skin.

"No. Grab --" Goro was their fucking healer,
Hansel didn't have any potions on him, Roddy was burnt out -- "Luci. East
tower, second floor bedroom, with Sam. I got him." He looked up at his
husband, saw the same amount of fucking alarm on his face that Hansel was feeling,
which meant it was worse. Of course it fucking was. Asenka. "We got
this."

He trusted Mishka to take care of that step, and he took
care of this one -- let his trident clatter to the floor, straightened over
Goro, dropped his hands against his chest and felt for the rhythm of his heart
-- then shoved down, reinforcing it, counting, until Goro stirred a bit,
wheezed in a breath.

Hansel gathered him up into his arms, feeling for his pulse
-- stronger now, steady, stable -- and breathed out for the first time himself.
Goro might not be conscious enough to hear him, but he still whispered,
"It's all right. You're okay," until someone who could do more
arrived.

Fucking Asenka. He guessed he was going to have to kill
Mishka's sister, too.

**Coyote:**

 Goro took in a breath.

He was alive. Thank fucking god. At this point, Mishka was
gonna have to stick the kid in a cell and guard him twenty-four seven. How many
times could the fool get possessed or kidnapped or captured or almost killed?
Mishka needed him for things. He wasn’t sure what those things were anymore,
because he and Joan were already allies now, but he needed Goro for things.
Important things. (Hm. Maybe he needed Goro for fucking? No, they weren’t doing
that, either. Shit.)

God, he needed to stop thinking about this.

Okay. Asenka. Was some kind of ethereal undead, apparently.
Likely resistant to most forms of magic, definitely resistant to most forms of
physical damage.

Mishka vanished with a crack. He reappeared about thirty
seconds later with Luci, who was bleary-eyed and blinking, her hair
sleep-mussed, like she had no clue what was going on. He pushed her towards
Goro urgently.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel looked up at his daughter and just said,
"Help."

She was a tough kid. She had seen some shit, he knew, at the
Sanctuary -- as a healer, and all. She reacted like a soldier, snapping awake
and kneeling beside him, laying her hands on Goro and whispering a prayer. The
color came back to his face, and his eyelids fluttered, and Luci took a breath
and prayed again, the glow in her hands pulsing.

Then she glanced at Hansel, and back at Mishka, and scooted
away. She got back up to her feet and took several steps back, scanning the
room for danger with a confused and concerned expression. But she didn't ask
questions. She sidestepped awkwardly towards the doorway. "I, um. I'll be
right outside. If you need me again."

The moment she was gone, Hansel hissed, "Mishka --
Mishka, motek, was that your fucking sister?"

**Coyote:**

 "Yes, it was my fucking sister! Fucking-- fuck!"

Of course this would happen. Of course his dead sister would
appear in the middle of the night and try to kill his husband's boyfriend. Of
course. That's just the sort of thing that happened around Mishka, Local
Natural Disaster. He'd fucking known he shouldn't get close to people because
he always destroyed them somehow, but he'd talked himself out of it again and
convinced himself it was fine.

And now look at what happened.

**Izzy:**

 "All right, all right, hey," Hansel said quickly.
He shifted to hold an arm out to Mishka. "C'mere. It's okay. We'll fucking
... deal with it, I don't know. Plans, right? C'mere."

**Lina:**

 Goro sat up and smacked his mouth. Still tasted blood in the
back of his throat, but altogether he was doing alright. "Where'd the psycho
bitch go?" he asked, but didn't wait for an answer. He crawled away from
Hansel and staggered to his feet, toward the door, and stuck his head into the
hall after Luci.

"Hey, uh. I got it from here, thanks. You should go
back to bed." He wanted to... say something more; he knew that feeling all
too well, saving someone's goddamn life and then just having to pull back into
the shadows. He wanted to tell her she was doing a good job, or something. But
he was so bad at this shit. Didn't want to freak her out. "Thanks,"
he said again, and retreated into the room.

**Izzy:**

 Luci stared at him, back on his feet but rather wild-eyed.
She nodded, and made absolutely no move to leave. Sure. He had it from here.
She edged away from the door a little to give them privacy, but leaned against
the wall and stayed.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka backed away from Hansel. Wanted to go sit with him so
fucking badly, but couldn’t. “I need to go after her. I have to talk to her. I
have to make her understand.”(edited)

**Izzy:**

 Hansel let Goro fucking flee, because he'd just seen Luci
heal him twice -- Goro was perfectly likely to try to fuck off when he wasn't
fine, but this time, Hansel had some assurance that he was.

He didn't know what Asenka was, or if it was even actually
her. Could be dangerous to go after her alone, even for Mishka -- could be
dangerous for both of them. Might need to be a group effort. He kept his voice
level. "Motek. She's gone. We'll scry on her. I'll go with you.
Later." He gestured again. "Neye."

**Coyote:**

 Mishka paced back and forth over the balcony. Asenka was
already gone. There were footprints in the snow, lined with red. Easy to
follow. Obvious.

Mishka made a frustrated noise. Forced himself to back away.
Went back, looked over the edge again.

But Hansel had later and come here, so Mishka left and came
there. He shut the balcony doors once they were all inside.

**Lina:**

 Goro kept a few feet away from Mishka and Hansel, settling
cross-legged on the floor where he could watch both of them. He looked at
Mishka's face, then gave a long, meaningful glance to the cuff on his arm.

"You got something you want to tell me, little mousie?"
He bobbed one eyebrow. "Or should I spell it all out for myself?"

**Izzy:**

 Hansel wrapped his arm around Mishka, starting to say something
to try to soothe him -- remind him they needed more information, they needed a
plan, they had no fucking idea what was going on and they couldn't just run out
into the dark and cold after a woman who was supposed to be dead, but who had
instead turned up and nearly killed someone else -- tell him they'd figure it
out, that Hansel would help him, that whatever it was had to be fuck-all
compared to a fucking dragon and a fucking god.

But not unexpectedly, Goro had to open his mouth and say
some shit instead.

"Shut the fuck up, Goro," he snapped, then
remembered Goro had been barely alive in his arms just a moment ago. Luci had
healed him, but he was probably still freaked out, himself.

Hansel clenched his jaw for a second, then relaxed. He
looked to Mishka, as well. He wished they had a shared language that Goro
didn't have, so that he could say, I'll handle this, if you want me to. I'll
explain, or I'll tell him to fuck off. You don't have to talk about this.

He hoped the look said it well enough.

**Lina:**

 Goro shifted forward onto his hands and knees and crawled
halfway toward them. He stared Mishka in the eye while pointing at Hansel.
"Does he know? Does he know? He's going to be fucking next, isn't he?
Could this happen at any time, or are you on a fucking schedule?"

Once a month was what they said, back in Calimport. Wasn't
wanton and random. Once a month, the Tyrant-King would demand his sacrifice,
somebody meaningful and beloved. Seemed like Mishka had a little more of a
grace period. Rexarius probably had a whole bunch of other slaves he could draw
on, one at a time.(edited)

**Coyote:**

 He knew. He fucking knew. Mishka had said too much. Given
away too many pieces. Should’ve kept his fucking mouth shut. Shouldn’t have
gotten drunk with Goro or played that stupid fucking game. Shouldn’t have asked
for help.

I should cut his throat and dump his body somewhere in the
woods.

Mishka forced himself back, behind Hansel.

He was being irrational. Made no goddamn sense. Goro’s
wasn’t going to hurt him. Goro had a lot of reasons to hurt him— Mishka had
threatened him, attacked him, used magic on him, and just been a general
backstabber. Stolen the man Goro loved.

And Goro had a lot of fucking opportunities to hurt him,
too— hanging out with him while he was drunk, staying with him while he was
fucked up, sleeping in bed with him. Goro could’ve knifed him while they were
fucking. Goro could’ve cut his throat in his sleep. Goro could’ve let him die
from the drider poison in the cave.

Goro could’ve just fucking left him dead after the
Graverunners killed him.

Mishka settled. They were on the same side. Goro was being a
dick, but that was normal. He was talking. He wanted Mishka to explain and
wanted more information.

And Mishka—

Mishka kind’ve fucking trusted him.

**Izzy:**

 Mishka pushed his way behind Hansel, like he was hiding. The
most dangerous fucking person that Hansel knew -- hiding.

Hansel told himself, again, that Goro had just nearly died,
and was probably half in shock from that and from whatever exactly Asenka had
told him (whatever exactly she fucking knew, might have lied about), and he was
fuckin' Goro, anyway, but it didn't do much good.

He snagged a hand in the front of Goro's robes and stood,
dragging him to his feet, then off his feet, shoving him back several steps as
they went. Away from Mishka. His jaw had clenched before he'd realized it.
Little mousie. His knuckles were white.

Anyone else he would be tempted to throw off the fucking
balcony. He'd done worse over less -- he'd threatened Goro for just saying
Mishka's name in a shitty tone of voice, when he'd been in a bad mood. He'd
purposefully cut Larkin about her father being absent just for making an idle,
blunt comment about him.

"I told you," he said lowly, "to shut the
fuck up. I know." Not your fucking business, he wanted to say, but managed
to bite it back. "We're fucking handling it. And next time you fucking
speak to Mishka like that, I'll break your fucking jaw."

Wanted to shove him against something, but there wasn't a
wall near enough -- but he realized that he needed to let Goro go, and needed
to back away. Calm. Not that big of a deal. Goro wasn't a threat to Mishka, or
to him; he didn't understand the situation; this was a talking problem and
Hansel needed to let other people talk, because his own teeth were piercing his
gums.

He dropped Goro abruptly and took two steps back, fists
still clenched, to stand between him and Mishka. Deep breaths. Calm. He was
calm.

**Lina:**

 Goro crumpled to the floor and crouched in a ball, thinking
dimly that he needed to fucking run, but--

That ghost, he didn't know where she went, and he'd dropped
his amulet when she attacked him, the one with his holy symbol--

He scanned the floor, spotted the small dark shape a few
feet away. Crawled to it on all fours, snatched it up, and bolted for the door.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka rose to his feet. He rested his fingers lightly on
Hansel's arm-- not restraining him, just touching him. Hansel's jaw muscles
tensed again. Hansel was watching the door where Goro had gone.

Mishka spoke in a low voice. "Hans, the reason he's
asking this shit is because he's fuckin' infatuated with you."

**Izzy:**

 It took a Hansel a moment.

"I know," he managed. Ground his teeth just to
move his jaw, keep it from locking closed. He stared into empty space instead
of at Mishka. Fuck. His brain fought viciously to justify what he'd done --
should've fucking shut up when I told him, doesn't get to fuckin' talk like --

"God fucking dammit." He turned past Mishka and
shoved out through the balcony doors, took long deep breaths of the cold air
and leaned heavily against the railing. Shit. Fuck. He'd tried to fucking tell
Goro that he was -- yeah, no, that was a fucking excuse. Had to do better.
Fuck. All right. Fuck. How did he do that, though.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka immediately started working on the problem.

His eyes flickered to the bloody footprints in the snow
below. They were gone now. Vanished. Must’ve been an illusion to draw him out.

Thoughts flickered through him.

She’s still out there.

Need to find Goro. Still hurt.

He needed Hansel on his side again, first, and together
they’d fix this. They were good at working together. Mishka would calm him down
and they’d get on the same page, and then they’d go play good-paladin
bad-paladin with Goro. Mishka might have to be the good paladin this time,
though. Fuck.

Mishka wrapped his arm around Hansel’s waist and left it
there. “It’s fine,” he murmured. He rubbed Hansel’s back, and he kept an eye
out for attackers. Keeping his other hand resting on his dagger. “You’re
alright. Just breathe.” Hansel had gone from being dead asleep to fighting
monster to talking to Goro in the span of about sixty seconds. "Neshama. I
love you. You're going to calm down for me. Alright?"

Hansel’s skin felt hot to the touch.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel nodded with some difficulty and closed his eyes. Kept
breathing. Made himself stop thinking, for a moment, about how he was going to
fix this -- what he would need to say, or do -- because he knew that would just
turn this into something else, into a different kind of fucking mood that
wouldn't be fucking conducive to fixing anything. Mishka would help. Hansel
didn't have to figure it out -- his only job here was to settle.

Mishka had him.

He nodded again. "I'm good. I'm all right."(edited)

**Coyote:**

 Mishka didn't let go. Kept an arm there, warm and steady.
His grip tightened a little, though, without thinking about it.

"So Goro's obviously figured out the fuckin'... cuff
thing," he said quietly. "I let a few things slip before-- I told him
about Aleksei getting killed by the dragon, and I told him the dragon stuck me
with this-- and I must've slipped up enough to for him to put it
together." The idea of telling anyone about it at all set his teeth on
edge. If someone helped him kill the dragon and they knew about the command
ring the dragon wore, they could simply steal it or take it from the
Tyrant-King.

And then Mishka would be somebody else's slave. Somebody
smart enough to actually use him. Somebody less powerful than Rexarius--
someone who might actually want to use his skills.

"So here's what we're going to do," Mishka said.
"Before dawn. Before anyone wakes. We're going to go find him now. Corner
him. I'm going to talk to him. I just need you to be calm, and... maybe stop
him from leaving. And we'll get this straightened out. And we'll make sure
Asenka doesn't get him."

**Izzy:**

 Hansel nodded, silently, but hesitated. He opened his eyes
again.

"How the fuck am I supposed to keep him from
leaving?" If he grabbed him he's just fucking scare him again. But -- that
probably wasn't what Mishka was thinking about. Mishka was being practical.
Keep Goro from running, keep him from isolating himself, becoming a target
again. Hansel was fucking worried about Goro realizing that Hansel had been
right, and he had been wrong, and never looking at him the same way again, and
that didn't fucking matter as long as he was safe. Fucking selfish.

**Coyote:**

 "That's a good point. I have no goddamn clue,"
Mishka said. "If he says that word again-- mercy, y'know-- we gotta let
him be and back off. 's a contract, right there. Blood oath."

He moved towards the door. "Guess we just talk quietly.
Keep a hand on him. Stand between him and the door, box him in. Reassure him.
Talk him down. Give him a few minutes to relax."

**Izzy:**

 Hansel moved with Mishka without thinking about it,
frowning, but -- calmer now. Able to focus. Again, he nodded, because that was
still easier than talking. If he just ... stood in a doorway. Well away from
Goro. Let Mishka be the one to get close and talk to him calmly. That always
worked on Hansel, but he didn't know if it would work on Goro -- all he knew
worked on Goro was picking him up and holding him until he calmed down, and
that wasn't a sure thing, and it sure wasn't going to be a fucking thing this
time.

"Quarters?" he guessed. All those locks. Nowhere
safer in the entire fucking castle, he'd bet.

**Coyote:**

 Seemed the most obvious. Mishka checked Hansel's room
first-- but of course Goro wouldn't be there. And he wasn't. They went to his
room and knocked, but there was no response.

The shady bastard could just be sitting there quietly,
pretending he was gone.

Mishka motioned to Hansel. "Can I have that earring for
a moment?"

**Izzy:**

 Hansel tugged it off and handed it to him.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka took off his matching pendant and slid it under the
door, then checked through the earring. The room was empty... and the window,
oddly enough, was ajar. The covers on the bed were mussed as if someone had
stood on them.

Mishka pulled the pendant back out by the chain, then handed
the earring back to Hansel. "Clever motherfucker went through the window.
Locked his door to throw us off. We ought to check the grounds outside. It
hasn't been more than five minutes. Can't of gone far."

**Izzy:**

 "All right." This was a problem Hansel could
solve. He didn't think Goro would know enough to try to cover his trail -- he
could track him in the snow, easy. None of them had been outside. There'd only
be the one trail.

He started off, towards the stairs, already thinking -- Goro
was usually hyper fucking aware; he'd be hard to sneak up on, and he'd be
harder to corner outside. If there was some way they could just ... gently herd
him back inside, but he couldn't think of a way to do that that wasn't
essentially just chasing him. Waiting for him to get cold and come back in on
his own wasn't an option -- left him vulnerable. Plus he was fucking stubborn.
Might just fucking freeze to death, out there

Hansel could track him, but the fuck was he going to do
then? He paused. "D'you think -- maybe we should wake someone else up. To
talk to him. So he doesn't just, y'know -- fuckin' run." Larkin had gone
back to Skyport. Ripley? Seemed shaky. Fuck. Hansel realized that he'd probably
be the best option, normally, but -- goddammit. Not helpful to think about and
get caught up in. Pushed it aside. "Ombre? Or Joan? I don't
know."(edited)

**Coyote:**

 "Maybe. Good point. Let's try this first."

Mishka just needed to go after him. He needed to talk to
Goro. He needed to make Goro understand.(edited)

**Coyote:**

 Title: Insecticide. Summary: Goro is accosted by Asenka, who
tells him horrifying, possibly untrue things about Mishka, and implies that
he's putting Hansel in danger. Hansel and Mishka save him from her, but then
get into their own scuffle, and Goro escapes.

**Coyote:**

 [SETTING: Directly after the previous scene, wherein Goro
takes off after a tense confrontation with Hansel and Mishka.]

Mishka checked around the inside of the castle first. He
even sent Pumpkin to scout out the nooks and crannies of the castle.

Eventually, they found him. He sat curled against the
outside wall, back to the stone. Head tucked down, but eyes wide and sharp,
still looking around. He wasn't wearing a jacket or a cloak. It looked like
he'd just bolted-- just got directly to his room, locked all the locks, and
crawled right out the fucking window. His skin was pale and red in the cold,
not its usual olive.

Mishka held up his hand to stop Hansel, then padded forward
silently. He needed to get close first.

Then, once he thought he was close enough, he called
quietly: "Goro."

**Lina:**

 Skyport was to the east. But Hansel had said not to go
through the woods. They could track him easily if he took the road, though.
Maybe the woods would be fucking worth it... except no, he was pretty fucking
sure he'd get lost, compass or no compass. Trees were fucking tricky. Couldn't
read 'em. Though apparently he couldn't fucking read people, either, it turned
out.

When Mishka said his name, he took one look at the two of
them approaching him, and decided he'd take his fucking chances with the woods.
He scrambled to his feet and took off.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka took off after him, pausing just long enough to
glance behind him, make sure Hansel was there with him.

Mishka calculated it out. He could pop in front of Goro, try
to grab him and knock him over, but Goro was moving fast. Mishka didn't
normally pop in front of moving people, and it took him a few seconds to do it,
usually. He couldn't calculate the trajectory well enough. It'd be a waste of
magic.

"For fuck's sake!" he called after Goro.
"Nobody's gonna goddamn hurt you! There's still a ghost around, you idiot!
You aren't even fully healed!"

**Lina:**

 Goro wheeled around to face them. "What do you fucking
care? Just leave me alone! Let me go!"

Hansel had said I don't fuckin' let go for anything. He'd
said that... yesterday. Or the day before. Goro didn't know and he didn't care.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel had told himself to keep his damn mouth shut -- let
Mishka do the talking because he was good at that shit, and Hansel wasn't --
but he couldn't help himself. He didn't get any closer, once Goro stopped.
Didn't know if that'd register, if it'd mean anything, but he did it, and called,
"Goddammit, jackass, of course we fuckin' care. I'm sorry. Come inside and
let me fuckin' talk to you. Or don't, just -- fuckin' come inside."

**Coyote:**

 Mishka stopped dead, too.

"There," Mishka said, waving his arm at Hansel.
"See? Hansel cares. I mean, y'can bolt into the woods and get ripped apart
by fuckin' direwolves for all I care, but then Hansel might cry, and then I'd
be sad. Fucking come back inside."

**Lina:**

 "Fuck off. And fuck you, Hansel. Fuck you, you fucking
liar." Crying. Again. Icy cold on his face. "I mean nothing to you. I
was trying to help and you tossed me away like I'm garbage. Fucking shutting me
out after that bitch almost killed me--I don't even know what I fucking did, I
just--"

He didn't know why he was bothering. Just looking at Hansel
felt like tearing a hole in his insides. He had to fucking get away. He turned
and kept running.

**Izzy:**

 Fuck. Fuck. Hansel took off after him again, not trying to
catch him -- just trying to keep about the same amount of distance between
them, just not fucking lose him entirely. Hansel had told him to not wander out
into the fucking forest, but of course that was the direction he was going in.

"Goro!" He wanted to yell back fuck you, fuck off,
you should fucking know better, but -- fuck himself, too, for losing control
with Goro when he knew perfectly well that Goro was -- uncomfortably like him
in some ways. He remembered the way he'd fucking flipped on Goro over one
question, on the trip to Calimport, immediately fucking assuming that
everything that'd come before was some fucked up game. Over a question. And
what'd he fucking done?

He wanted to fucking tackle him and hold him down and tell
him I love you and many more times as it'd take. Carry him back inside and make
him sit down in front of the fire and try to fucking explain himself, and try
to be all right with the possibility of it not working. But he couldn't do
that.

There sure as fuck wasn't anything he could yell, briefly,
while running, that was going to make anything better, but he gave it a shot.
"Goro -- fuckin' -- I wouldn't actually hurt you, I fucking overreacted,
but -- I wouldn't."

**Coyote:**

 Mishka followed. Staying the same pace as Hansel. They
reached the woods, and Goro started moving fast through the trees. Dexterous
little fucker. Mishka might have to hold him. It was rapidly looking like the
only option.

It was dark, and fucking cold, and Mishka could've even seen
him properly anymore. He just heard Goro shouting back at them and heard the
snapping twigs beneath his feet.

No mind control, Goro had said. And no tight spaces, and no
blinding, and no deafening. But Goro didn't have any problem with being
restrained, right? Holding someone magically wasn't mind control.

Right?

**Lina:**

 Fucking... overreacted. Bet he never fucking talked to
Mishka that way. Goro thought about screaming as much, but honestly, fuck the
both of them. He was going to lose them in these woods and then they'd give up
and go back to their warm castle where they'd curl up together and sleep
fucking soundly, comforting each other probably.

He kept moving. Kept his eyes peeled, avoiding roots and
stumps and anything else that might trip him up.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka caught something through the trees ahead, and his
heart almost stopped.

A flash of blond hair and white skin. A flash of blood on
her dress. Asenka stood idly ahead, maybe a hundred yards away. She spread her
arms like she was ready to embrace Goro.

Mishka stopped dead. He threw out his hand and clenching,
shouting, "Fucking stop!" And he reached out with his magic and, with
every ounce of his power, tried to force Goro's body to stop.

**Lina:**

 Goro was focused so intently on where to put his feet. He
was confused when they stopped working, and he figured he must've snagged them
on a bush, but why hadn't he seen it, and--

Too distracted to try throwing the spell off until it was
too late. It wasn't just his feet; he couldn't move anything, and he became
aware of the magic coursing through him right as the ground was rushing up to
meet him.

And then he had nothing but a faceful of snow.

Fucking jackass.

**Izzy:**

 What the fuck -- like Hansel couldn't have caught up with
Goro and grabbed him if brute force was the best option here. He thought they'd
been on the same page about this, that they couldn't try to make Goro stop and
talk to them, that they might have to go back to get help -- god fucking dammit
--

"Fucksake, Mishka, fuckin' let him go," he
snarled, leaving Mishka behind and bolting ahead to where Goro had fallen to
drop down next to him, automatically putting a hand on his back, then jerking
it away, then more gently trying to help him upright. He lowered his voice.
"Fuck, are you okay? I'll fucking back off," he added hastily,
"I just -- are you hurt?"

**Coyote:**

 Mishka let go without fully processing it. Just did it
automatically when Hansel told him.

Hansel had Goro in his arms. Good. Mishka back off. He
circled around the outside edges, watching the forest. There were orcs in the
woods. Direwolves, too. And Asenka, apparently, who was gone now.

**Lina:**

 Goro lifted his face up with a gasp, then lowered it again,
folding his arms to rest his head on.

Why even bother.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel glanced up at Mishka, patrolling around them. Not the
fucking optimal plan, Captain. He grit his teeth, but looked back to Goro -- not
talking, for now, but then he was out breath and had just smashed his face into
the ground. Hansel shouldn't touch him. Knew he shouldn't. Kept his voice soft
and did it anyway, pulling him back up. "C'mon, c'mere, chatichi, just --
get outta the snow."

He was pink from the cold, but he wasn't bleeding, as far as
Hansel could make out in grayscale in the dark. He wasn't dressed to be out
here -- he'd just fucking run. It made Hansel's heart twist. "Let me get
you back to the keep and you can fuck off when it's light, okay?" he
tried. "I mean I don't fuckin' want you to, but --." He swallowed and
reflexively brushed some snow off Goro's face. "I'm sorry I fucking scared
you. I'll do better."

**Lina:**

 C'mere, chatichi.

God, he was so pissed at himself for being weak to that.

He'd trained himself so well to trust Hansel, to go back to
him over and over again, to keep falling into his arms thinking they were the
safest place to be. No, trained wasn't even the right word--it had happened
without him trying.

Hansel's voice was soft, and plaintive, and sounded like he
was the one hurting. Goro fucking hated it. He hated the way Hansel's warmth
drew him in. Hated how his arms went around Hansel's shoulders yet again, the
way he clung to him like he always did.

Tomorrow, though. He could run off tomorrow.

**Izzy:**

 Goro's arms going around him was a fucking relief. If
nothing else that meant he could get back to the keep, where it was -- well,
fuck, it wasn't fucking safe, because Asenka or whatever the hell the thing
that looked like her was had attacked Goro well inside its walls. But it was
safe from goddamn frostbite, at least.

Hansel's grip around him tightened, thinking about how faint
his heartbeat had been. He took a breath. "I'm gonna pick you up, okay?
And get you home. I'll make you some fuckin' tea and get you warmed up and --
we can fucking talk. I'll talk. You don't have to. All right?"(edited)

**Lina:**

 Goro nodded.

**Izzy:**

 "Okay. All right." He shifted to rest Goro more
solidly against his chest and stood, swaying back for balance. He caught
Mishka's eye and jerked his head back the way they'd come, where the light in
the upper towers were visible, flickering, through the trees.

When he was satisfied they were alone -- no fucking wolves
or goddamn dead things tracking them back home -- he hissed, "Mishka. Hey.
The fuck? What happened to talk quietly, huh?"

**Coyote:**

 Mishka kept his voice low. He spoke in Orcish in case
someone (like Asenka) was listening. "I saw her through the trees ahead.
Asenka. Fucking opening her arms like she was waiting for him to embrace
her."

Then he said, "Sorry, neshama. I was just fucking
trying to... sorry. Your boyfriend. Y'love the little bastard. I was just
fucking trying-- he's yours, you know. I was just trying to protect him for you."

**Izzy:**

 It caught Hansel off-guard. He hadn't seen a goddamn thing.
Had maybe been so focused on Goro, or -- maybe nothing had actually been there.
Either way. "Shit. All right. Yeah, got it." He didn't quite want to
say it's okay because he wasn't the one who'd gotten locked up and crashed into
the forest floor, but -- it was a good reason. He shifted and glanced around a
little more closely than he had been, keeping wary for white-blond hair
drifting past in the night.

Thought again about Goro on his back, the fucking thing
draining him dead, and held him tighter. Hansel's trident in her chest hadn't
slowed her down at all. If she had been Asenka at some point, she wasn't a
regular fucking elf now. She came into his fucking castle and attacked his
fucking people. That didn't work for Hansel.

He couldn't quite keep his voice even. "My love, you
know that even if that thing used to be your sister, I'm gonna fucking tear it
apart, right?"

Said it in Common. If she was in the trees somewhere,
listening -- let her hear.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka stopped dead. "Hansel, that fucking thing is my
sister. And I--"

He grasped his hair. Pulled at it. Made himself let go,
forced himself not to pinch himself or sink his nails into his wrist.
"That thing is my sister," he said in a ragged voice. "And I did
this to her. I can talk to her. I can make her understand. She's in pain.
Neshama, please. I'm fucking begging you. Don't hurt her."

**Izzy:**

 Hansel stopped and stared at him. Considered a few options.

Slowly, he said, "You didn't fucking do anything to
her. Fuckin' dragon did." He wanted to ask would your goddamn sister try
to kill Goro? but he grit his teeth, considered again. "If it's some shit
-- like Diva. Or the dragon or Gruumsh or fucking -- whatever. I'll help you.
Whatever you need. But if it's some goddamn thing that just looks like her, and
maybe it used to be her, it fuckin' ain't anymore, and I'm gonna fucking kill
it." He dropped his voice. "It came into my fucking house. I felt
Goro's heart almost fucking stop under my fucking hands. D'you know what
--."

He cut himself off and breathed.

"If it didn't look like your sister it'd already be in
fucking pieces." Another breath. He was doing it again. Had to calm down.
Leveled himself. "If it's her, we'll save her. No question. All right? If
it's not --." He shook his head.

December 30, 2018

**Coyote:**

 "It wasn't--" Stopped himself. Gritted his teeth.
"Asenka fucking wouldn't--"

Asenka was brilliant and charming. She'd had dozens of
suitors vying for her hand. She'd cherry-picked her husband. This thing was
different. It was cunning, just like she was, but it was broken and evil, maybe
in a way Mishka couldn't fix. Maybe the best he could do was give her peace and
slay her.

"I did do this to her," Mishka said, still in Orcish.
"D'you know what he fucking said to me? Something pushes me just the right
away, and I'll turn on anyone. He was right. I had a fucking choice, Hansel. I
could've swallowed poison. I could've died instead of her, instead of anyone.
Instead of-- instead of you."

He kept walking.

There was no fucking use arguing with Hansel.
"Alright," he said roughly. "Alright. We'll-- fine." He
didn't have the time to be fucked up about it right now. He'd deal with it
later. "I understand. I'll do-- I'll do as you ask. It makes sense. You're
right. You're right. I'm sorry. I just. I need a fucking minute. When we get
back."

**Izzy:**

 He wanted to say: If you'd fucking swallowed poison then I
never would have met you. Fuck Asenka. I'm glad she's dead instead of you.

That wouldn't be helpful. Wasn't a kind way to feel. Worse
thing to say.

He wanted to say: And I could've fucking slit my throat
before Gruumsh made me kill our entire crew. That make you happy? That what you
wanna hear?

Not helpful either. He kept his mouth shut and watched
Mishka walk for a moment, let himself breathe, then started after him and
caught up to walk beside him. "We'll talk about it more later,
motek," he said softly. "We'll figure it out."

They broke through the trees and into the field, following
their own tracks back towards the castle. Hansel adjusted his grip around Goro
and let out a warm sigh against his neck, keeping his eyes ahead.

**Lina:**

 Goro shifted in Hansel's arms, pressing against him. Away.
"Put me down," he said. "I can walk from here." Could've
walked the whole fucking way, actually, but it was a little late for that.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel didn't hesitate, but he was fucking reluctant. He
paused and loosened his arms, letting Goro down to his feet in the snow.
"Right."

**Lina:**

 When his feet hit the ground, Goro put a generous amount of
space between himself and them. They watched him, though. Probably thinking he
was going to bolt again. He didn't. Just hunched over, crossed his arms, and
walked toward the castle.

He felt... fucking sick. Necrotic damage, must've been,
coupled with the cold and exhaustion. Just an indefinable malaise and achiness.
Death itself, a little bit.

**Coyote:**

 When they got back to the castle, Hansel went to the
kitchen. He set a kettle over the fire and grabbed herbs and honey to make tea.

Goro still hadn’t run yet. That was a good sign. You can
fuck off when it’s light, Hansel had said. Fuck that. They had about one hour
til dawn and Mishka wasn’t letting him go goddamn anywhere. One hour to talk.
Ease him into staying.

Goro didn’t sit. He stood rubbing his arms, shifting, still
looking ready to bolt.

Mishka took his arm. He did it carefully, seeing if Goro was
going to pull away.

“Chaveri,” he said. “Relax. No one is going to hurt
you.”(edited)

**Lina:**

 Oh, yeah. Of course not. 'Cause he was so fucking scary and
all, they couldn't do anything to risk setting him off, now could they?

Goro stared at Mishka wordlessly. He didn't try to pull his
arm free. Mishka eased him toward a seat at the dining room table, and Goro
took it, like a good fucking boy.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel focused on the tea. This was something he could do,
easily, without needing to think, but he made himself think about it instead of
anything else. Not the hangover blend -- something smooth and a little sweet,
something that might help Goro calm down. Sleep, maybe, in a while. He had to
be exhausted. Hansel wanted to hold him again and tell him it was all right,
that he was safe, that he needed to sleep and Hansel would watch out for him
while he did.

Couldn't, though.

Samantha had left a couple blankets warming by the stove.
Once he had finished the tea, he folded both over his arm and took them along
with him back to the dining room, silently offering one to Mishka as he held
the tea out to Goro. He'd sit it on the table if Goro wouldn't take it, but
even if he wasn't going to drink it, just holding the mug would help warm him
up.

**Lina:**

 When the mug was presented to him, Goro looked at it, then
turned his head slowly to look up at Hansel. Stared him dead in the eye, cold
and hard. He could see the concern on Hansel's face, the quiet but desperate
hope that Goro would be okay, would let Hansel make him okay, and Goro wanted
Hansel to look back and see: I'm not fucking buying it.

But he took the mug and held it. Sniffed the contents, but
didn't drink. His hands were stiff and cold, and the mug felt molten hot. In a
nice way, at first. Still, after a moment it was too much, and he set it on the
table.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka touched the mug, drew out some of the heat so it was
safe to drink. He sat down next to Goro— closer than necessary. Pressed his
side to Goro’s side.

He nudged Goro’s leg with his boot. “Chaveri. Drink the
tea.”

**Lina:**

 Goro scooted his chair just far enough away to put an inch
of space between him and Mishka. A fucking statement.

He didn't drink the tea.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel glanced at Mishka, half-desperate, trying to keep
Goro from seeing it. Help. What do I do? What would you do? Why isn't what
you're doing working? Fuck.

Maybe he was overthinking this, trying to work out how
Mishka would handle it, if it were him, or how he'd handle it if it were
Mishka. He just didn't have a fucking blueprint for this. He didn't have any
fucking strategies. But everything had been complicated and delicate with
Mishka, in the beginning, and maybe with Goro he just needed to fucking ...
talk.

Fuck. Yeah. Sure. Simple. Just talk.

He tossed the blankets onto another chair, because a peace
offering wasn't what was needed here. Goro didn't want him to do things; he
wanted him to ... be things. Be himself, fucking apparently, and -- this was
Hansel being himself. Goro had called him a liar, yelled that he meant nothing
to Hansel. Said he didn't know what he'd done. That he was trying to help. A
twisted, vicious thing in Hansel wanted to say, yeah, you see what happens when
you try to help me? I warned you. I told you, but he quelled it. He'd promised
to do better. He'd said he would talk.

He dropped slowly to his knees in front of Goro, watching
him steadily, not touching him. "Okay," he said slowly. "Goro.
Listen. This is me fuckin' talking, all right, like I told you I would, and you
don't have to talk back, and you don't have to give a shit about what I'm
saying, but I'm gonna fucking say it anyway. This isn't -- a fucking excuse,
and I shouldn't've grabbed you, but I was fucking freaked out already, and I
thought -- you were threatening Mishka. I wasn't fucking thinking at all."
He closed his eyes for a second and open them again. "I get fucking ...
protective. And I don't think. But I wouldn't've hurt you, I was trying to
scare you and make you fucking back off, which --" he sighed --
"isn't that much fucking better, eh.

"I know I overreacted," he said again. "I
fucked up. If you want me to leave you alone, I will." He glanced at
Mishka again. "We'll fuck off. I can -- go get Nixie, or Ombre or someone,
'cause I don't think you should fuckin' be alone, but if you can't fucking look
at me, or talk to me, I get it. Okay?" He studied Goro's face. "Tell
me what you need and I'll do it, shemeshi."

**Coyote:**

 Mishka didn’t move away. Just kicked up his feet and said,
“You can be as goddamn angry as you goddamn want. I’m not letting you take off
in the goddamn woods in the middle of the goddamn night. And frankly, I’m not
letting you walk the road during the day time, either. There are bandits. And
direwolves. And...”

Asenka, apparently.

“And my own sister,” he said quietly, “who is apparently is
a psychopath now, and also trying to murder you now.”

Mishka looked away. He rubbed his face. “For fuck’s sake.
You saved my goddamn life. I’m not letting you just wander off to die in a
ditch. If you really want to leave, then okay, but—“

Mishka’s hands curled unconsciously into fists.

He’d just fucking got Goro back.

It felt so fucking unfair. He’d been planning on asking Goro
and Hansel to go out drinking with him the next night. Then he’d woken up in
the middle of the night to find his own fucking sister strangling him to death.
It’d been— it’d been so fucking close.

And now he was trying to leave again. Fuck off somewhere
else.

“I’ll take you to the Sanctuary— or Skyport,” Mishka said.
“I can open a circle. If you really want to go. But we fucking want you to
stay. Alright?”

**Lina:**

 Bullshit. They were trying to make themselves feel better.
Because wouldn't it be so fucking sad if poor Goro got eaten by direwolves on
the road to Skyport. Hey jackass, he wanted to say, if I'm so fucking
vulnerable I can't be trusted to walk into town by myself, how'd I scare you so
fucking bad, huh?

He had been planning to not touch the tea again, but now it
seemed easier than responding to what either of them had said, so he picked it
up and took a gulp. It tasted good, which just pissed him off. He was cold and
thirsty, which made it the perfect solution, and that also pissed him off. It
pissed him off that he wanted to throw himself at Hansel and say I forgive you,
even if you fuck up you're all that I want, stop trying to find ways to fix
this because there's nothing to fix, I love you, I love you, I love you.

He wasn't. Fucking. Buying it.

He took another gulp of tea.

"I've made a grave error," he said in a low voice,
"to think that I was wanted or needed here. To think I could be a part
of--this." He gestured among the three of them. "I spent my nights in
Calimport learning everything I could about the Tyrant-King. I will write down
what I know for you, for all the fucking good it does. And then I'll get out of
your hair for the last time. And for the fucking record--" He slammed the
cup back onto the table and turned to face Hansel. "You get protective? Is
that so? You know, I thought of something funny. I thought about the night I
told you that your son made a deal with Diva to make Mishka suffer. And I
thought--" He cocked his head to the side, pretending to try and remember.
"Hm. Did you pick him up, drag him off his fucking feet, and threaten to
break his jaw? Did you toss him away like he was nothing, not two minutes after
he'd been brought back from the brink of death? Well, no. You didn't, Hansel.
You punched me, sure, so we know you were in the mood. But him?" Goro
leaned in, bringing their faces close together, because he always was bad at
not taunting dangerous things. "No. You just told him to run."

Goro pulled back and positioned himself more comfortably in
his chair. Casual. Like this didn't mean a goddamn thing to him. It shouldn't,
though. He should have known better.

"So what are we to make of this, I wonder? I suppose
I'm just fucking special. I think there's a little part of you that hates me,
and you can't get rid of it, no matter how hard you try. It's a tall order, I
know. But the least you could do is stop lying to yourself about it, and stop
lying to me."

**Izzy:**

 Hansel's jaw twitched. He cut his eyes at Mishka again.

He stood up.

"All right. Then you fucking run. I'm fuckin' telling
you to."

He turned his back and walked away, across the room, arms
folded. Deep breath. Relax.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka said, quietly: “Goro, Jonn is a fucking sociopath.
And a child.”

**Lina:**

 Goro's eyes widened. "Oh. Oh yeah? Did you get a peek
at Hansel's secret notebook where he lists out everyone he knows, and why he is
or isn't gonna threaten to break their jaw? I got it. Thanks for clearing that
up."

**Coyote:**

 Mishka didn't fucking back down. His hand curled
unconsciously around a butterknife on the table. "You're his fucking
partner. Hold yourself to a higher standard. You get to be his partner or his
kid. Fucking pick one."

**Izzy:**

 Hansel turned abruptly and crossed back to them. Saw the
dull knife in Mishka's hand. Fucking pirates. Couldn't just deal with a
situation without making it worse, could they? He hooked a hand around Mishka's
arm to pull him to his feet, make Mishka face him, and quietly said,
"Don't fucking defend me. I'm trying to stop fucking up. It doesn't
fucking help if you -- try to tell him it's fine. It's not fucking fine. I
shouldn't fuckin' go around threatening to break anyone's jaw."

He let Mishka go, keeping his hand on his arm, and looked
back to Goro. Not getting on his fucking knees to ask Goro what he needed,
because apparently that didn't fucking work, either. He managed to keep his
voice low and even.

"Y'know what I did fucking do, though, Goro? I told
Nixie she should've killed Jonn. S'too fucking bad his neck didn't snap when
you shot him out of the crow's nest, 'cause that'd make things a lot fuckin'
easier for a lot of people, wouldn't it, huh? Guess so."

He stepped closer. His fingernails dug into his palm.

"Don't fucking threaten my husband, and don't fucking
talk shit about my kid. That's all I'm fuckin' asking of you, Goro. Real
fuckin' hard, is it? High fucking price to pay to have me chase you down in the
snow to keep you from fucking dying in the cold, and come running to save you
when some ghost bitch almost stops your fucking heart, and walk into a fucking
cave full of driders for you. Little too hard for you to just think a second
before you open your fucking mouth about shit that you know sets me off, but I
fuck up and it's fucking over, huh?"

He leaned in, over Goro, and sat his other hand on Goro's
shoulder. "Well, too fucking bad. I'm gonna keep fucking doing it. You
can't fucking stop me, jackass. Yell at me if you fucking want. Tell yourself I
hate you. I'll keep coming back."

Then he straightened, and gently pulled Mishka along to the
other end of the table to sit down again, and dropped his forehead onto
Mishka's shoulder.

**Lina:**

 "I didn't fucking threaten your husband. What the fuck
did I say? What the fuck did I do to deserve any of this?" He slammed his
hand against the table, making a little tea slosh out of the mug. Oh yeah, he
was so fucking intimidating. Watch the fuck out, everybody.

**Izzy:**

 "You didn't fucking do anything to deserve it,"
Hansel said tiredly, without raising his head from Mishka's shoulder or opening
his eyes. "I overreacted." He'd already said that. He didn't know
what the fuck else he was supposed to say, how else to explain himself.
"You fucking -- taunted Mishka. About the fucking dragon, and -- me
fucking dying." Maybe it hadn't been taunting. Maybe Hansel had just
thought it was, when Mishka moved behind him like he was in danger. Hadn't fucking
thought. Too much adrenaline.

**Lina:**

 "T... taunted him?" Goro looked at the table,
scrambling to remember what he'd fucking said. "How? I was just... asking
questions." He glanced back to the two of them in disbelief. "Because
I thought... I should fucking know the details, seeing as I was going to help
kill the fucking dragon and all. Thought it was my business, as you might say,
to know what exactly we're up against, what kind of time frame we're working
with, to just know what to fucking expect, period."

But he hadn't asked nicely enough, apparently. What did they
want, a nice soft, sweet, cooing voice, and gentle words? That wasn't him. That
would never fucking be him. And he thought they both should know that by now.

Or was his problem assuming they wanted his help at all?
Yeah. There it was again. He wasn't fucking needed. He wasn't a part of this.

**Izzy:**

 "Just fucking asking questions, huh, little
mousie," Hansel said, his voice dripping with spent malice.

**Lina:**

 "I'm sorry. Is that a fucking insult where you come
from?"

**Izzy:**

 Hansel raised his head to stare Goro down across the table.
"Oh, so it fuckin' seemed like a good moment for a new little pet name, to
you. Where'd you fucking get that one from, huh?"(edited)

**Lina:**

 "From his sister. You know, the one who almost killed
me." He always hated to admit when he was weak or hurt. Didn't like to
draw attention to it or invoke pity. But this was starting to fucking grate on
him. "But by all means, let's pretend I was the one feeling hale and
healthy in that moment. Just wanting to knock Mishka down a peg since I was
feeling so high on life. Does that make it worth it, Hansel? Does that mean I
deserved it?"

**Izzy:**

 "No, you motherfucker," Hansel snapped, "I
already said you didn't fucking deserve it. Stop fucking trying to make it
sound like I think you fuckin' did. Maybe you shouldn't fuckin' taunt people
with the thing the sister that a fucking mind-controlling dragon made them kill
used to fucking call them. Maybe you shouldn't do that five fucking seconds
after he finds out she's some fucking murderous ghost now. I told you to
fucking stop first. Still doesn't mean I should've threatened you. What else
d'you want me to fuckin' say, Goro?"

**Lina:**

 Goro wasn't sure there was anything Hansel could say. He
didn't know how to express what the hell he wanted.

He reached out and slid the tea mug closer. Fingered the handle,
then lifted it up to take a sip. It had cooled too much, now. Wasn't as
comforting. He should have fucking drunk it hot while he had the chance.

"I don't... fucking... care about the jaw breaking
thing," he muttered. "I mean, who hasn't threatened to break a few
jaws here and there? I probably sound like I'm being flippant, but I'm fucking
not. We all say shitty things. I don't care." He took another drink, just
to moisten his throat. "What I want is... ah, fuck, I don't fucking know.
I heard you say you almost felt my heart stop under your hand. You made it
sound like it scared you. But if it did, your relief must not have lasted long.
You turned on me so fast."

He drew his knees to his chest so he could hide his face
against him. He always hated this shit, explaining how he really felt. But
Hansel was trying so hard for him. Goro felt like he should give him a fighting
chance, and tell him the truth. "I thought maybe I should've been the one
you were comforting. Along with--along with Mishka." Not instead of.
Hansel had two fucking arms. Goro had crawled away and not come back, but since
when did Hansel not chase after him? He'd chased him through the snowy woods,
for god's sake. "You forgot me. I guess I'd just like some fucking proof
that I mean something more to you than... than something you'd throw away for
being a sarcastic asshole to your husband. Because. Well." He lifted his
head and spoke into the open air. "I am a sarcastic asshole." And
back into hiding he went. Always easier to admit his shortcomings than his vulnerabilities.
"You dropped me. You let me go."

**Izzy:**

 Hansel stared at him for a moment, then dropped his head
onto Mishka's shoulder again. Made it easier to deal with.

"I fucking would have," he said lowly. "You
fucked off as soon as you were conscious and acted like you were fuckin' fine.
I didn't fucking forget you, I knew you weren't, I just fucking -- thought you
needed space, because you sat down away from us. I don't always know what you
need, or what to do, all right? My fucking bad." He sighed. "I'm
sorry I let you go. I don't know what fucking proof I can give you apart from
every other fucking time that I didn't."

**Coyote:**

 Mishka wrapped an arm around Hansel’s back. He rested his
face against Hansel’s hair and held him close.

He didn’t say anything. Just let them talk.

**Lina:**

 Goro lifted his eyes to peer at the two of them, while still
keeping the lower half of his face hidden. It was the same feeling he'd had on
Candlenight: stuck on the outside looking in, wanting desperately to be a part
of it, and fearing it was some fundamental flaw of his that kept him out.

"You don't get it," he said, uselessly. "You
don't get it." And what the hell should he say, to help Hansel get it?
"You can't--I don't know--what do I--"

He gave up on talking and started crawling across the empty
chairs toward them. He didn't so much have a plan as an unconscious drive to
get closer, climb onto both their laps and make himself be hugged. But he
stopped two chairs away. Watched them, warily, to see what they'd do.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka opened his eyes. Eyed him.

He bit the inside of his cheek. His urge was to keep
talking, but... it never felt like the things Mishka said during their
disagreements did anything.

Maybe it'd be clearer physically, then. He caught Goro by
the wrist again and dragged him nearer, into his arms, so that the three of
them were sitting together with Mishka in between.

**Lina:**

 Well, that was one way to do it. Goro couldn't very well
complain now.

Actually, that wasn't fucking true. He could always
complain. He had an endless well.

Sulkily, he asked, "You want my help killing the
fucking dragon, then, or not?"

**Coyote:**

 He kissed the top of his head. “Goro,” he said. “I’m fucking
terrified of that dragon. I don’t want to fight it. You and Hansel want to
fight it. I told you about the cuff being stuck on me because I figured you’d
help me come up with other solutions to get it off."(edited)

**Coyote:**

 Well. Mishka was tired. He'd just found out his dead
psychotic sister was haunting his castle, spying on him, and trying to kill his
lovers. He wanted to fucking comfort Goro and he knew the kid was scared, he
just wasn't sure how much more he could give. And… Hansel fucking needed
comfort, too.

He switched to Elvish. It was a habit, because he was
fucking uncomfortable, and he hated being honest like this. “Let’s go upstairs.
Come to bed. I want you there.”

**Lina:**

 Goro bit his tongue, refusing to ask why. People got testy
when you did that.

"You head up," he suggested. "And we'll be up
after you, in a minute." He eyed Hansel, not sure how well this was going
to go over.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka was reluctant. Hansel needed him. He could tell. The
way his shoulders were slumped, and the way he kept resting his head on
Mishka’s shoulder.

But—if they needed a moment alone—maybe this was how it
needed to be.

Mishka lingered a moment. He watched Hansel softly, and he
kissed Hansel’s hair. He peeled himself away. Hansel held onto him, and Mishka
lingered again. “I love you,” he murmured in Orcish. “I’ll be upstairs,
beloved, whatever happens.” He slipped out the door.

**Lina:**

 Damn, there were a lot of fucking things Mishka could have
said, if he didn't realize Goro understood Orcish. But all he'd said was that
he'd be there for Hansel.

Like Hansel was as liable to end this night heartbroken as
Goro was.

Hansel had tried so fucking hard. Wanting to fix it all.
Seemed stupid to make a man suffer so much over one mistake, and Goro still
wasn't sure how to explain--it's not what you did, it's what it means.

But he did want to get damn clear on what exactly it meant.

"I didn't want to ask you this while he was here,"
he began. "I was worried it would hurt him, and whatever you fucking
think, I do care about him." He paused, to see if Hansel would fucking
tell him off or something. But he didn't pause long. "Please. Just tell me
honestly. I won't argue. If both he and I are hurt, will you push me aside to
get to him?"

As soon as he asked, a memory came to him unbidden. After
they'd killed Mishka while he was hosted, and Goro resurrected him--the first
thing Hansel had done, without hesitation, was to pour a healing potion in
Goro's mouth.

Goro, you fucking idiot, he told himself, and he almost said
something, but... didn't. He still wanted an answer.

**Izzy:**

 "No," Hansel said immediately, lowly. "I'll
fucking get both of you."

**Lina:**

 Goro watched him for a long time. Studied how he looked at
the moment, considered everything he'd said and done over the past hour or so. Panic
had made Goro question all of it, question himself, and what his heart and his
gut kept telling him, which was that Hansel loved him and wouldn't hurt him.

He really was fucking stupid sometimes. When had his
instincts led him wrong, ever? Fucking ever? Shit, he'd even known Diva was bad
news, he just hadn't fucking cared.

Hansel wasn't looking at him, wasn't touching him, and he
seemed fucking miserable.

I never need space from you, Goro almost said, but maybe
that was rash and unwise. So he slowed down, and made sure what came out of his
mouth was absolute truth, and also what he wanted Hansel to hear. "I don't
need space right now."

And if that didn't do anything, well, he'd get a little bit
more demanding.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel hesitated. He was trying to not -- do the thing Luci
called him out for, and make his own guilt and misery over hurting someone more
important than their own initial hurt. Prioritize. He still had the feeling
that Goro might only be trying to appease him, though -- he was fucking
perceptive, and Hansel wasn't good at hiding his fucking emotions, anyway. Case
in fucking point, him lashing out at Goro in an instant over something that
hadn't even fucking happened.

But Goro hadn't been trying to make up with him this entire
time, he'd fucking run away, and glared, and snapped, and refused. Goro did
what he fucking wanted. Hansel figured he needed to take that at face value.

So he reached out and pulled Goro to him, not holding on too
tight, because -- no, fuck that, actually. Goro still felt cold. Hansel could
still feel the faintness of his heart against his palms as he counted the
beats, waiting to hear him breathe again. He crushed Goro against his chest and
didn't say anything.

**Lina:**

 Well, it'd worked. But Goro still felt like making the
demands he'd had as backup, anyway.

Y'know, just to make sure Hansel knew.

He rattled off every one he'd thought of, breathless from
Hansel squeezing him. "Hold me like you love me. Hold me like you never
want to let me go. Hold me like I'm a fucking treasure everyone's trying to
steal from you. Hold me like the world's trying to kill me, Hansel, and you're
the only one standing in their way. Hold me like you fucking mean it,
jackass."

December 31, 2018

**Izzy:**

 "What d'you fuckin' think I'm doing, shemeshi?"
Hansel mumbled against his neck, and held on tighter -- because he loved him,
and never wanted to let him go, because he was a fucking treasure and if any
other goddamn ghosts or gods or demons tried to take him away, or hurt him,
touch him at all, Hansel would fucking bury a trident in them too.

Because he fucking meant it.

He just -- needed to be sure he wouldn't end up having to
bury a trident in himself at some point along the way.

**Lina:**

 "Mmm." Goro shook his head, straightened up, and
cupped Hansel's face in his hands. He gave him a kiss. "Look at me. Look
at me."

**Izzy:**

 Hansel pulled back to stroke his face, and look at him
carefully. What he should have done before. Kissed him briefly, gently. He was
a little banged up from hitting the forest floor, but -- pale, mostly, and not
in a way that seemed to be from the cold. Luci'd healed him. Hansel had seen
her take a breath and pray again, and he'd all but shot to his feet after it --
he wasn't injured.

(Hansel remembered that he'd jolted up and stumbled into the
hall to thank Luci and tell her she should go back to bed, first thing.)

He was still fucked up, though, whether it was some effect
of the magic or just the fact that he'd almost fucking died. Hansel still
forgot -- that tended to be a strain on most people. He just did it and got
back up. Should've ... thought. Should've remembered. Shouldn't've made things
worse.

He started to not say anything, because it seemed like Goro
wanted to say something, but before he lost the chance again -- took it away
from himself, most likely -- he asked, "Do you feel all right? Is there
something else I can do?"

**Lina:**

 Goro nodded, but it took him a minute to figure out what to
ask for. He wanted Hansel to feel better, and for himself to feel better, and
he didn't know how to get there.

He felt guilty for trying to run away. He wanted to explain
that he'd only done it because he thought Hansel didn't really love him, but it
sounded so foolish in hindsight, and strangely cruel: I won't leave you unless
I think you don't love me, but I also won't believe you when you say you do.
Yeah. That didn't fucking work.

His longing to make Hansel feel better made him want to say
all kinds of things like, I'm sorry I ran, I forgive you, you didn't do
anything wrong, but he wasn't sure he meant any of them, not all the way at
least. It still rankled him, how fast Hansel had turned. How he'd treated
Mishka like he was delicate and Goro like something disposable. Little mousie.
Un-fucking-believable, how pissed Hansel had gotten over that. No one had ever
gotten that pissed on Goro's behalf in his whole fucking life.

Seemed a bit much to say I want you to threaten to break
someone's jaw for me over a minor insult, though. Apparently Hansel was...
thinking he shouldn't do that kind of thing anymore.

And I want to know I'm worth that much to you too didn't
really work either, because there was no way for Hansel to prove that,
particularly when Goro didn't fucking believe half the things Hansel said
anyway.

Right. So. He wanted something Hansel couldn't give him. He
couldn't hold a grudge over that. Wouldn't fucking be fair.

He guessed he'd just have to take everything else Hansel was
giving him, which was a hell of a lot. An abundance. More than he'd ever
dreamed of. Even more if Goro could just fucking be honest, and show where he
was vulnerable.

"Just... stay with me, please," he said. "I'm
fuckin' scared. I had my holy symbol out and I tried to censure her and it
didn't do anything."

**Izzy:**

 Hansel nodded and pulled him back in. "I will. I'm sorry."

He wanted to say I came when you screamed and I kept you
alive. I know I fucked up and I came after you to try to help. I'm trying to
fix this. I backed off when you acted like you didn't want me. I'm trying. I
don't know what to do. Wasn't helpful. Kept his mouth shut and tried to decide
if he should say anything at all.

Before he'd decided, he said it anyway. "I'm fuckin'
scared too. I thought I was going to lose you, and then I fucking thought --
you were threatening Mishka for some reason, and -- I didn't fucking know what
to do. I don't know how to protect everyone. I don't know how to protect
you." He shifted his grip, a little, to hold Goro tighter without actually
hurting him. "I'm fucking going to. I'm going to. I'll figure it out."

**Lina:**

 "Hey. Listen. Listen to me." Goro reached up to
touch his face again, and he kissed his cheek and jawline. "I know you
don't like half the things I have to say, and you can stick some fucking
candlewax in your ears if you don't like it, but I'm going to keep talking. I
know you're trying to fix this, like you try to fix everything. Do me a fucking
favor and forgive yourself, like I'm going to forgive you. Let me be mad. Let
me tell you to fuck off. I won't stop fucking loving you. You've done the same
to me, haven't you? We'll piss each other off sometimes, and learn to do better
together, for each other. Please?"

**Izzy:**

 This all sounded pretty fucking reasonable. Hansel was
fairly sure, actually, that he'd said something like that to Goro -- we'll hurt
each other, but it won't be on purpose, and it'll be okay. Something like that.

But he wanted to say don't fucking try to be nice to me, I
hurt you, that's not fucking fair.

"Mmm." He didn't commit to it. "I'll
try." He was saying that a lot lately. It was bound to bite him in the ass
at some point, like it's complicated had. They were both just ways of saying
I'm done talking about this and I'm not doing what you want, he realized.

"Fine. All right," he grumbled reluctantly.
"I guess. 'Cause I fuckin' love you."

**Lina:**

 Damn straight. There was something adorable about the way
Hansel agreed to it, like he was giving in, handing over a toy he hadn't wanted
to share but been cajoled into. Goro loved him so damn much.

They ought to head upstairs, see how Mishka was doing--see
about this fucking ghost. None of them should be alone, really. Maybe no one in
the whole castle should be. Goro didn't know what they were going to fucking do
about this.

He was tired, and still cold. He loathed the thought of
crawling out of Hansel's arms and dragging himself up two flights of stairs. He
opened his mouth to say something like, Well, if you're really never letting me
go, guess you'll have to carry me, but he stopped himself. Hansel wasn't at his
best, either, after the storm. He'd mentioned backaches a few times. He'd
already carried Goro a ways through the woods.

Goro had just the thing for this sort of scenario. Hansel
and his fuckin' pride, though. He'd have to be sneaky about it. He hooked one
arm around the back of Hansel's neck, rested the other on Hansel's shoulder,
and went in for another kiss. A deep kiss, good and distracting. He himself was
concentrating, though. Praying in his mind. He slid his hand from Hansel's
shoulder down to his chest, resting it over Hansel's heart. His hand glowed
warm, suffused with magic. Just a little trick where you called upon the
"strength of the bull," as the legend went. It would double Hansel's
carrying capacity. Goro would seem to weigh half as much.

Obviously Hansel was going to notice. Goro pulled back,
smiled, and said, "Oh, oops."

**Izzy:**

 "Hey," Hansel said. "Fuck you."

It was fucking endearing, though. Goro had him all fuckin'
figured out, did he? Little shit. Hansel wondered if he'd picked it up from
Mishka or he'd just worked it out on his own, because he was fucking smart like
that. Complete goddamn idiot, too, depending on the day. Or the minute. Hansel
couldn't really say shit about that, either.

"All right, c'mon, chatichi." He slid back,
pulling Goro with him, and stood. Didn't weigh a damn thing. Hansel was going
to have to remember this spell -- fuckin' convenient. Rested him back against
his chest again, like he had on the way back home through the woods, and
started for the stairs.

"Listen," he said quietly, halfway up. "I
have to talk to Mishka -- about this shit with his sister. I dunno how fucked
up he's gonna be about it. Uh. I know I just said I wasn't gonna let you go,
but -- he needs me. You gonna be okay with that?"

**Lina:**

 "I'll keep my damn mouth shut for once, promise. Or,
wait... you mean... talk to him alone."

**Izzy:**

 "No, I mean --." He hesitated. "I dunno, he
might prefer to talk alone. We don't want you to fuckin' be alone, though, and
--." I want you there, Mishka had said. Kept reaching out. Kept trusting
Goro. "No. I just mean, I will have to, fucking literally, physically let
you go. Probably." He thought for a second. "Maybe. Maybe not. I just
-- want you to know I'll come back, if I have to let go."

**Lina:**

 "Oh. Oh, well, yeah. Of course it's fine." A fucking
relief, after the split second Goro had spent picturing himself banished to
some dark room to wait by himself. And to think, an hour ago he'd been trying
to lose himself in the woods. "I will really keep my mouth shut."

**Izzy:**

 "All right, well, I mean." He reached the top of
the stairs and turned down the hall. "You don't have to just sit down and
shut up, but if I fuckin' tell you -- y'know, lay off."

He wanted to say you have to be gentle with him; you have to
be soft; he'll run away. But -- it felt like betraying a weakness of Mishka's.
And ... Mishka didn't really do that, anymore. Didn't run from him. He was
trying so fucking hard not to -- Hansel just didn't want something to set him
off again. Mishka fucking liked Goro. That was the problem. Made Goro
dangerous. Maybe that was why Hansel had gotten so fucking protective, without
thinking about it.

He really needed to fucking tell himself these things.

**Coyote:**

 [break—cut to Mishka]

As soon as Mishka was out of sight, he went to the balcony
on the top floor.

He checked over the ledge. There was no indication of where
Asenka had gone. The footprints she’d left in the snow had vanished. Mishka
folded in on himself and sank to the floor.

She was gone.

My love, you know that even if that thing used to be your sister,
I'm gonna fucking tear it apart, right?

And Mishka had said, I understand, and, I'll do as you ask.
I'm sorry. I just I need a minute. When we get back.

Here was his minute. He’d needed to be alone, and now he
was. Mishka crawled to one side of the doorway so that he was hidden out of
sight around the corner. He pressed his back to the icy stone wall and put his
head in his hands.

Mishka always figured there was no point in mourning Asenka.
He was going to bring her back, eventually, once the dragon was no longer a
problem. But if her soul was some kind of wraith now, there was no bringing her
back. Killing the wraith would likely mean destroying her soul.

She was gone.

Mishka took a long drink of warm brandy. He started talking
quietly, even though Asenka wasn’t around to hear him. “I miss you. I love you.
I’m sorry.”

He knew she wasn’t there. But he just wanted to talk to his
sister so goddamn bad.

“I was thinking about you today,” he said. “I remember on
Candlenights, Mother never wanted to spend time with us. We didn’t have any
cousins or aunts or uncles, either, because she’d driven them all off. But
you’d always find some way to make the day special. You’d take me hunting for
pinecones in the forest. Then once we had a bunch, we’d pick out the biggest
ones and coat them in honey and seeds, and then we’d set them outside your
window for the birds and squirrels to peck at.”

He wiped his eyes on his arm.

“I remember,” he said, “you were the one who suggested I run
away from home. Mother said I’d die on my own. But you—you told me I could make
it. You said I didn’t need the family. You said I was fucking smart, and I was
a survivor, and I’d be okay.”

His face felt hot and wet. He put his head in his arms. “I
think you were right. I’m doing okay.”

His voice was rough. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could
keep talking. “I wish you could’ve met my husband and his kids. We could’ve
gone hunting for pinecones on Candlenight together, and we could’ve shown Roddy
and Sugar how to coat them in honey and seeds. Oh—Sugar. I have—I have a
student now. Isn’t that fucking crazy? She’s so sweet. I could’ve introduced
you to her. I could’ve introduced you to Joan and Goro, and we could’ve sat by
the fire and cheated at card games together, all of us.”

His throat felt constricted and tight. Hot tears slid down
his face. “I’m sorry. I just want to talk to you again. So goddamn bad, Asenka.
You know, you—you had this way of talking that made everyone listen. No matter
what it was, you made everything sound so interesting. And no matter who you
were talking to, you made them feel special. I always wanted to talk the way
you did. I try to imitate you, still. The people I’m around—they don’t even
know you.”

His voice broke. “I was going to bring you back. I don’t
think I can, anymore. I don’t think I’m ever going to get to see you again. I
think you’re really gone now. I think I’m going to have to kill you again.”

Mishka choked. He curled into a ball, his head between his
knees. His shoulders shook silently as he wept.

January 1, 2019

**Izzy:**

 The hallway, Hansel realized, was cold. Colder than it
should be. The room had been cold when they'd found Goro and Asenka -- he
hadn't registered it at the time, but he remembered it now, in the back of his
mind, and tensed, and whispered for Goro to be silent. Mishka was alone. Hansel
didn't know if he would fight something that looked like his sister, whether
there was anything left of her in it or not.

He gently set Goro to his feet, keeping a hand on him, and
drew his trident off his back, and indicated for Goro to get behind him. It was
quiet at first; he kept his ears pricked and moved carefully. Then: breathing.

No. Crying. Coming from the balcony room. Soft -- trying to
be nothing at all. Hansel paused and considered, thinking this time.
Evaluating. He slipped his trident onto his back again, and gestured for Goro
to settle, but stay with him. He moved forward quietly, glancing in the doorway
of his quarters along the way, just to make sure Mishka wasn't there -- even
though he knew better already.

Mishka was against the wall by the balcony, curled up into
himself. Hansel found himself hesitating, just for a moment -- wondering if he
needed to tell Goro to hold back. But Mishka would touch Goro, would seek him
out, would sleep with him -- maybe this could be -- not fucking good,
obviously, but healthy or something. Hansel slipped his hand down from Goro's
shoulder to take his hand and pulled him along into the room.

He thought of asking did you see her? did she come back? are
you hurt? what did you have to do? but he figured he knew the answers. Of
course Mishka was hurt; he'd been hurt from the second he'd seen her. He'd just
finally had a second to let the mask slip, and be someone who'd been forced to
kill the sister who was more important to him than anything, and then had her
reappear as a homicidal spirit or some-goddamn-thing.

So Hansel just dropped down next to him and didn't say
anything, and put an arm around him to pull him to his chest, and squeezed
Goro's hand and tugged him closer too. He rested his lips against Mishka's hair
and shushed him softly as he cried.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka wrapped his arms around Hansel’s back automatically,
pressing his face into Hansel’s shoulder to hide the tears. He took a shaky
breath to steady himself. “I—”

Started to explain, then stopped. He realized a beat too
late that Goro was here too.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel kissed the top of his head and quietly, in Orcish,
said, "It's okay, my love."

He squeezed Goro's hand again.

**Lina:**

 Goro got that distinct feeling that he was witnessing
something not meant for his eyes. He stared pointedly out at the woods, and
squeezed back when Hansel squeezed his hand, though he was thinking of pulling
away. It was fine--Mishka plainly needed Hansel, and Hansel was trying to hang
onto them both, and Goro fucking loved that about him. But Goro could go stand
in the other room for a minute, it wouldn't kill him.

He gave Hansel's hand another squeeze and took a step back,
slowly pulling away.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel tightened his grip and pulled Goro back -- not hard,
but enough to indicate he should sit with them.

**Lina:**

 Goro kind of stumbled forward, and relented, sitting in
front of them both in the snow, so close his knees bumped against both of them.
Hansel still hadn't let go of his hand. Goro felt odd, sitting and watching
them: Mishka's face against Hansel's shoulder, Hansel's lips against Mishka's
hair. It didn't seem like Goro fit, not literally or figuratively, but Hansel
had pulled him back in anyway, so he supposed he was stuck.

Goro wasn't positive what Mishka was crying about, but
Hansel and him had been talking about the ghost maybe not really being Asenka,
just some twisted shade of her, and, well... fuck, Goro didn't have any
siblings, he didn't fucking know what it would feel like.

Although he did have Larkin--she'd said he was like her
brother. And he supposed that if Diva had made him murder Larkin, and then
Larkin came back as a fucked-up ghost and started attacking his friends and
family, well, he'd be pretty fucking devastated about that.

God, it made Goro's heart ache to watch him cry, but he
didn't know what to fucking do. He wanted to help but he always made things
worse.

Maybe he could just do nothing. Maybe he could just sit
there quietly, and let his presence be a comfort. (Ha?)

Amari used to do that with him. Just sit there quietly.
Actually, that wasn't quite true--she would touch him while she did it. She
refused to let him forget she was there, even if he was hiding his face from
her. But she'd always touch him in one of two peculiarly specific places: the
back of his neck, with her thumb and forefinger at the base of his hair, or on
his upper arm just above his elbow. He sometimes wondered if there were pressure
points there that she knew about and hadn't told him, spots that would calm him
down. It did usually calm him down, eventually, but that could have simply been
her warm and steady hand on him.

Goro moved slowly. He brushed Mishka's hair off the back of
his neck and rested his hand there.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka tensed, then settled. Tensed, then settled.
Forcefully made himself relax.

He kept thinking about what Goro had said back in the
kitchen. I've made a grave error to think that I was wanted or needed here. To
think I could be a part of—this. I spent my nights in Calimport learning everything
I could about the Tyrant-King. He hadn’t realized the dragon thing had mattered
to Goro that much. He’d never asked about it again, never poked or prodded,
just said they’d kill the dragon. Apparently he’d been making notes. He’d been
thinking and figuring shit out.

Yeah. Okay. They were all on the same side.

Mishka just wasn’t fucking used to this. Not used to having…
partners. Not used to having people on his side.

He lifted his head and checked around. No one else around.
Just Hansel and Goro. Safe. He wasn’t quite sure when Goro had started
registering as a comfort rather than a threat, but—here they were. He settled
down one last time. He shifted, gripped Goro by the arm, and pulled him in
closer.

He just sat there for a bit, the tears drying on his face.
They he wiped his eyes. He figured he ought to apologize for the shit he did
and said, earlier. Wasn’t sure how, though.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel felt Mishka go stiff -- kept holding him, and felt
him relax under Goro's hand. Good. Good. It seemed out of place, but he had
that feeling again -- the same one he'd had when he'd dragged himself out of
bed after the storm and seen them on the couch together. That had been layered
in delight and surprise (and blunted by exhaustion), and this was more relief
and content and comfort, quieter, softer, but the same.

He sighed and rubbed Mishka's back, and once he'd settled a
bit, asked, "You okay, ahuvi? Ready to talk?" He glanced at Goro.
"We're good. We can head back to the room. Get warm."

**Coyote:**

 "I'm good," Mishka muttered, wiping his eyes.
"Don't need to talk. Maybe some other time." Unless Hansel had meant
talk about Goro taking off in the middle of the night. There was nothing to say
about Asenka, no solutions to be made.

To Goro, he said: "I want go fucking work this out with
you. I want to talk to you about this. I just-- I need to know. Are you going
to run off again?"

**Lina:**

 The question caught Goro off-guard, and he drew back
slightly. Glanced between Mishka and Hansel.

Right now, he was fucking ice cold, and the notion of
running off into the woods seemed ludicrous.

He didn't want to answer directly. He wanted to say, Do you
even know why I ran off the first time? Are you going to shut me out again? Is
Hansel going to threaten me if I look at you cross-eyed?

But he said he'd be good and keep his mouth shut. He shook
his head.

**Izzy:**

 "No one's fucking running off anywhere," Hansel
said calmly.

This was going to work, and that's all there was to it. He
shifted to put an arm around each of them, around their waists, and pulled them
up with him, off their feet. He knew it was only this easy because of that
spell Goro had used, but he also mildly thought, fuck, I have to do this more
often.

He kicked the door to the balcony closed to shut out the chill
and carried them across the hall to his quarters, kicking that door closed as
well, and dropped them both on the couch, pointing at them to stay before going
back to lock the door and jam his desk chair under the knob. Then he slipped
his trident off his back to prop it next to the couch and collapsed between
them, putting an arm around each of them again.

"All right. Are we killing this fucking dragon or
what're we fuckin' talking about?" he asked. "Who's first?"

**Coyote:**

 Mishka kicked back. He waved his hand dismissively.
"We've got two and a half years before we need to deal with the
dragon." Then pointed at Hansel, then pointed at Goro. "And there's
other solutions besides hitting in the face. If we attack it, you realize it's
going to make me stop you, right? I don't wanna goddamn do that."

He leaned up, instead. He wanted to go over there and hug
Goro and tell him he was wanted and belonged here and Mishka wanted him here,
but that hadn't worked so far.

Neither had being direct, but... he had to try something.
Couldn't just lie down and give up.

He thought about saying, You're gonna goddamn sit here and
explain, and we're going to work through this. He needed to be more careful
than that, though. So instead, he said, "I want you to explain why you're
bolting. Hansel's apologized for the comment about breaking your jaw, but you
still look ready to take off. Why d'you wanna leave?"

**Lina:**

 Goro sat with his arms wound around Hansel's waist, resting
against Hansel's chest--his half of it, anyway. He watched Mishka steadily, but
kept the lower half of his face pressed against Hansel. Both because he liked
doing that, and to remind himself to keep his mouth shut.

Mishka asked him a direct question, though. Goro tightened
his hold on Hansel, just slightly.

Hm. He could just not answer. What would they do, if he just
refused to speak? Not put him in a cell and starve him for six days, naturally.
But he was curious. So he just stared, and didn't answer.

**Izzy:**

 "Goro," Hansel said patiently, "fuckin' talk.
I didn't tell you not to."

**Lina:**

 He took a moment, anyway. Finally moved to free his mouth
from its Hansel-shelter, and said quietly, "I don't want to leave. The two
of you won't fucking--" Ah shit, that hadn't lasted long, his attempt to
be polite. He dropped his face down again, this time hiding the whole thing
against Hansel.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka shifted forward again. "Chaveri." Trying to
be careful, again, not pushing too hard, not being too nice. He was still
trying to figure this out. "I'd rather know than not know. You don't have
to keep your mouth shut."

I want to keep you, he wanted to say. That didn't mean he
wanted to drag Goro back by force and tie him down and keep him like a caged
pet. He wanted Goro to--

He wanted Goro to stay of his own free will, and lean into
his touch. And that meant figuring out what was bothering him and fixing it.

But that was too much, so he didn't say it.

**Lina:**

 "My mouth gets me in too much fucking trouble," he
said, muffled. He peered up at Mishka. "What're you going to do if I tell
you and you get offended?" The question was as much for Hansel as it was
for Mishka, whether or not Hansel was going to have an answer. "You know,
I'm fucking working on it, not pissing people off so much when I talk. Certain
people, anyway. But I'm not in the fucking mood for it right now. So you get
pissed-off me or you get silence. Pick."

**Izzy:**

 Hansel kissed the top of his head. "Pissed off. It's
okay. I'm calm."

**Coyote:**

 Mishka grabbed an apple from the dish on the table and
started peeling it with a knife. "Rather have the pissed off, yeah."

**Lina:**

 Well, Goro could sure give them that. Really though, he
wasn't sure he was even all that pissed at the moment. He was just covering his
ass. Bracing them for things to get ugly.

He started again.

"I don't want to leave. But the two of you won't
fucking let me in. Not my business, not my business, not my business. How's it
not my fucking business?" Now he could feel himself getting worked up
again. He didn't want to lose his shit, though. He took a moment to breathe, to
feel Hansel's arm heavy across his back. "Mishka, I told you once I didn't
need to know what exactly that cuff did to you, because the specifics didn't
matter. But I'm starting to think they might fucking matter, what with your
fucking sister--" He swallowed. "I'm sorry, I really am, but she
fucking showed up in the middle of the night and tried to--actually, I don't
know what she was trying to do. Turn me against you, seemed like. And when I
didn't, when I told her to fuck off in so many ancient Celestial words, she
attacked me. I'm in this. I'm in. I should know what the hell's going on."

He made himself stop again, get collected. He debated
whether to add one last piece, then decided fuck 'em, they could take it. He
spoke quietly, struggling to stay calm. "Why should I not know the fucking
details if you're going to be forced to kill the person we both love?"

**Coyote:**

 Mishka ground his teeth. Started to explain, then stopped.
Realized Goro was right.

He kept peeling the apple, slowly, because his hands itched
and it gave him something to do. “You’re right. It’s your business now.”

He hadn’t had a problem explaining what had happened with
Hansel—and the love notes, and the hate letters—down in the dungeon. He’d
figured yeah, it was Goro’s right to know.

Mishka's jaw clenched. Unclenched again. Kept having to make
himself relax. It got easier each time, though. "I'm sorry. I'm fucking
paranoid, and fucking neurotic. I'm aware. I don't like telling people this
shit. The other half of this--" He held up his wrist. "Is a ring on
the dragon's back. Goro, right now all the dragon is doing is fucking with me
and making me sacrifice somebody occasionally. What if somebody else got it?
What if somebody--"

They could make him do anything. They could even command him
to like it, whatever they made him do. His stomach clenched, and that panic
sensation flickered in his gut.

No. He wasn't doing that now.

"I didn't want anyone to know," Mishka said,
"because the more people that know, the more people that might use
it." He stopped. "I thought you-- I thought you, if I asked you for
help, might get a hold of the command ring and... use it. Against me. I
figured, y'know, you're fuckin' smart, you've got goals. You've got idea. Y'might
like a powerful sorcerer under your thumb, doing whatever you told him."

He looked away. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you,
then." Didn't matter. "You're right. You have a right to know,
now."(edited)

**Lina:**

 Goro remembered Mishka saying that--something like, If you
knew, you might use it against me. He had to suppress a laugh. The notion that
he'd happily keep a slave. Well, maybe if it was Frederick. But that was a special
case.

He didn't know what to say, now. Honestly he hadn't been
expecting that sort of response. He'd figured Mishka might get freaked out
again. Start clawing at his wrist. Cower away. And then Hansel... well, it
didn't really matter what Hansel would do, because none of that had happened.
Mishka seemed tense, but he just kept peeling that apple, and he fucking
apologized.

"So... yeah." Probably wasn't quite the right time
to start demanding more details. But hopefully this meant he'd get them.
"I ran because it seems like no matter what I do... no. That's not
true." He squeezed Hansel tighter. Hold me tighter too, he willed. He
hadn't even realized, until this moment, why he'd been so afraid before.

"Something I have Diva to thank for," he said quietly,
"is she showed me what I'm really, actually, the most scared of." He
wasn't sure how to explain. Might have to back up a bit. "I told
her--while she was in my head, I told her that the greatest thing about me was
that people had loved me, and nothing she could do would ever take that away.
It would always be true. And so what she did was, she made me dream that I was
wrong. She made me believe that everyone I cared about turned against me, or
wasn't even real. So, that's what scares me the most, turns out. That I'm just
deluding myself."

He felt like there was something more he should say, but was
forgetting about. Like there was a question he hadn't answered. But now he was
distracted. He wiggled his arms free so he could pinch himself--remembered that
kind of thing freaked Mishka out--stuck his hands behind his back and pinched
until his eyes watered.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel let it go, for a moment, unsure. Safety nets, and
all. But he couldn't just sit there and watch Goro hurt himself -- he'd watched
Mishka do it, after Diva, made himself look away in case it was keeping Mishka
from doing anything worse, but Goro was safe. Had to know he was safe.

He gripped Mishka's arm briefly before shifting to gently
tug Goro's hands apart and away, holding them. "Hey, hey. Don't do that.
Come here, ahuv." He pulled Goro's arms up and kissed the angry spot where
he'd been pinching himself. "It's okay. I've got you." There was
something deeply and achingly hypocritical about saying that, right now, after
what he'd done earlier -- he just fucking wanted Goro to believe it.

Months ago -- when Goro had figured out what Jonn had done, and
they'd fought, even though Hansel had known he was in the wrong -- and
afterwards, Hansel had just walked to the fore of the ship silently, with no
idea what he was supposed to do, or what the crew would do -- Nixie had
followed him. She'd tried to help him, and when he'd been impossible to help,
she had sat with him for a while -- and when she'd left, she'd said, Please
don't hurt yourself.

That kid was so fucking sharp. It'd stuck with him. It still
echoed around in his head, sometimes -- this quiet request he hadn't known he
needed to hear, telling him she understood and cared at the same time.

And Hansel was a pirate, so he stole it, and murmured,
"Don't hurt yourself. It's letting things like Diva fuckin' win. I love
you."

**Lina:**

 What an odd thing it was, to feel Hansel's kiss against the
spot where only a moment ago he'd been causing himself pain. He had a moment, a
flash of certainty, where he thought, Diva couldn't fake this, either. He
wasn't sure what, exactly--the sensation of lips on skin, she could probably
do, but the emotion it sparked in him, how could she? She couldn't know what it
was like.

Don't hurt yourself, Hansel had said, and possibly
unbeknownst to him he'd kissed Goro right by the wristband Joan had made him,
the one that said Fucking heal yourself. It gave Goro a sense that being loved,
not being alone, meant he didn't belong entirely to himself anymore--he had to
take better care of his body, because it was now precious to someone else. What
a daunting prospect, being responsible for something other people cared deeply
for.

Which reminded him, he ought to heal himself. Luci had done
a good job, but he could finish it up himself. Just hadn't really thought to
bother until now.

Goro pushed away from Hansel enough to reach inside his
robe. He pulled out the Foxtail, holding it for a moment to feel the charge
inside of it. Yes, it had enough magic back for this. There was no injury to
speak of, so he held it close to his chest as he cast, just fighting off the
last of the malaise Asenka had left him with. He tucked the wand away again and
repositioned himself under Hansel's arm, tugging it to pull it tighter around
himself, like a cloak.

**Coyote:**

 God, that was so goddamn cute. Mishka kicked back again,
just watching them, amused. He popped some of the apple peel in his mouth.
Maybe this had turned out okay.

“Hey,” Mishka said. “I’m sorry about the holding spell. And the
the stupid fuckin’ comments. I don’t know how to talk to you, sometimes. Might
just leave it to Hansel in the future.”

**Lina:**

 "S'fine," Goro mumbled grudgingly. "Honestly
I... probably just would've run myself into the ground anyway. I knew going
into the woods was a bad idea, but I didn't care. Wasn't thinking. Just running
scared." He sighed. "Thanks for... coming after me." Fucking
embarrassing. He buried his face again. Maybe they were done asking him
questions now.

He thought about the last thing Mishka had said, though. He
had to respond. "I like talking to you, Mishka. What the hell. Just
fuckin'... be yourself."

**Coyote:**

 “Sounds like bullshit, but I’ll try it,” Mishka said, and
took a loud bite of apple.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel snorted.

**Lina:**

 "Outrageous, isn't it? But you know there's some chumps
out there who are just honest all the time? Can't tell a lie to save their
lives."

**Izzy:**

 "Hey."

**Coyote:**

 Mishka snickered. He coughed on the apple.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka just kinda let ‘em sit in silence for a minute. It
was nice.

He kept thinking about the wraith. He couldn’t think of her
as Asenka, now— that thing wasn’t his sister. He wanted to ask: the fuck did
she tell you? but it felt crass, somehow, like it was focusing on the wrong
thing. He’d wanted to make sure Goro was good, first.

“You said she spoke to you,” Mishka finally said. “Why’d she
attack you?”

**Lina:**

 "Mm. Well. I suppose the simplest answer to that
question is because I attempted to turn her, and it didn't work. Pissed her off
a bit, I guess." His eyes darted toward the door, with the chair jammed
under the knob. Yeah, like that was going to do anything. "But before
that... well. I gathered she was trying to manipulate me. I think she was
frustrated that it wasn't working. She was contradicting herself, and I asked
her a question trying to get her to double back. And. Well. It worked. So out
came my amulet."

**Coyote:**

 "Manipulate you," Mishka echoed. He assumed she'd
tried to manipulate Goro into attacking him. It was a sharp choice; he was
sleeping around Goro, and Goro had a good handful of reasons to do it. She was
a ghost. She could've been listening to any conversation.

He wanted to be sure, though.

A chill went down his back, and that bottomless grief hit
him again. He kept his body language casual and took another bite of the apple.
Wasn't fucking crying again. Crying was not a helpful emotion.

**Lina:**

 "You, ah. Were the two of you close?" Goro wasn't
sure that was helpful. Seriously, what the hell did you say to someone whose
dead sister was attacking people?

**Izzy:**

 "Fuckin' dragon makes him kill the people that're most
important to him," Hansel said quietly, not sure if Goro had that
particular detail, yet.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka nodded slowly. He finished the apple. He kept his
eyes focused on the wallpaper.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel pulled Mishka back tight against his side, not giving
him a choice -- trying to bring him back. He kissed the top of his head and
murmured, "Hey," not needing a response, just reminding him that he
was there.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka relaxed. He pressed a little closer in, arranging
himself more comfortably. He liked it when Hansel didn't ask or give him a
choice. Made it-- easier to accept the comfort, he supposed. When it wasn't his
choice.

**Lina:**

 "Hey, Mishka? For what it's worth. I don't think it
was... her. Not the sister you remember. Just a feeling I have."

**Coyote:**

 Mishka's jaw clenched again. Averted his eyes, nodded
slowly. "Yeah." Asenka wouldn't have pinned a man down and choked him
to death. Even if it was Goro. "I know," he said, and his voice got
rougher than he wanted. "I just wanted it to be."

And then he didn't say anything at all, for a long moment.

"She wasn't like... that," Mishka said. And his
eyes felt wet again. "I know it doesn't fuckin' matter. I just want you to
know that. She would've thought you were funny and sharp and dangerous. And she
would've liked Hansel." He wondered if Goro ever had any siblings. If
they'd died. Or maybe he hadn't known them. "I mean, fuck blood family,
honestly. Family is who you pick. But Asenka-- she was both. I would've picked
her as my sister if I'd had a choice. Can't say that about anyway else."

Then shook his head. Tried to think of something else to
move the conversation along, take it away from this.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel kissed his hair, and against it, lowly said,
"Motek, I mean it -- if there's a way to save her, we will." He
wanted to say -- I didn't think there was a way to save you, and we did. But
then, if there wasn't, shit. He couldn't get Mishka's hopes up when there might
not be any fucking hope.

And he thought, briefly, of Leigh. Then of Serena, and
Kheman. Hadn't done too fucking good a job with any of his siblings, chosen or
not.

He wished he'd gotten to meet Asenka.

**Coyote:**

 Mishka said, "I don't think there is, Hansel. She's a
wraith. Her soul is corrupted. You need a person's soul to bring them
ba--"

And then he sat bolt upright. His expression changed.

**Izzy:**

 "Mishka." Hansel waited for him to say something.

**Coyote:**

 “There’s a spell,” Mishka said, “called Wish. It’s
nigh-impossible to find, though. And nigh-impossible to cast. I need to be
stronger.” But he had an idea now, a fucking idea. “I need to be a lot
stronger. But there’s sorcerers who can cast it-- I've read books, there's been
legends. Ancient sorcerers, powerful as gods. I can get that strong. I can get
that strong, Hansel. I fucking know I can. It'll just take time. A lot of time.
But if I keep working…”

If he kept working, he could learn it eventually.

"I can wish that she's not corrupted anymore," he
said. "And then once she's sane, we can resurrect her. Or just-- or just
let her soul rest, at that point. I don't care. But we need to catch her
first."

Okay. This was starting to make sense. "There's magic.
That can trap a soul into a gem. So. That's what we do. That's what I do. We
don't destroy her wraith form. We catch her, somehow. And then in ten years--
twenty-- however long it takes, I wish her back to how she was, and then I can
talk to her, and then-- then she gets to go to Correllon in the afterlife.
That's what happens."

His eyes were wide. His voice was breathless.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel considered. Sounded dangerous. Sounded like something
a lot of shit could go wrong with.

"All right," he said.

He looked to Goro for his input.

**Lina:**

 Mishka was fucking nuts. That was great. Goro felt a little
hesitant about the not-destroying-the-wraith part, though. Lady was fuckin'
dangerous.

"About this trapping souls in gems business," he
said carefully. "You uh. You know a guy, or what?"

**Coyote:**

 "Shanrani Itzamatul," Mishka said, then waved his
hand. "I get around. He's the only one I know who's done it, though. And
he's not a man you want to get involved with. Rumor has it the guy killed his
own grandson."

**Lina:**

 "Oh, boy. Yeah. Hm. I was kind of crossing my fingers
you wouldn't say that. So, what's the plan here exactly, Mishka? You going to
write him a letter asking for tips?"

Goro bit his tongue. He was acting flippant again, and had
to remind himself Mishka's sister's soul was at stake here.

**Coyote:**

 "Oh, no," Mishka said. "No, I have no goddamn
idea. God, though. Maybe. Maybe there's a way." That part wasn't
important. There was a plan, now, which went there was a possibility. If it seemed
unlikely or didn't work, then Mishka would just add more steps. "Not
important. Maybe we shouldn't talk about this at four in the morning. The
important thing is-- the important thing is, when we wake up in the morning,
maybe we oughta talk to the others. As long as she's here, we shouldn't let
anyone sleep alone. Roddy and Sugar can share a room, maybe. Gwydion-- I don't
fuckin' know. Joan can take him, maybe."

**Izzy:**

 Hansel was out of his depths with the magic shit, but the
spark was back in Mishka, so he was onboard with it. And seeing the two of them
play off each other -- it made him grin a bit. He kept saying that everything
would be fine, not a problem, but he actually, for a moment, believed himself.

He pulled Mishka back again, kissed the top of his head.
"All right. It's a start. Battle plans tomorrow." Kissed Goro's, too.
"Just point me towards whatever fuckin' needs stabbing."

**Lina:**

 Tomorrow. Yeah, alright. Goro could wait until then. Was
practically tomorrow already, anyway.

He was fucking tired. Didn't know if he'd be able to sleep,
though, even with Hansel holding him. Resting, though. Resting was good. The
three of them all curled up together like this--that was damn nice. Peaceful.

Almost.

"Hey," Goro said, after a few minutes. "You
said we have two and a half years before we have to deal with the dragon.
What's that supposed to mean?"

**Coyote:**

 "Dragon usually gives me ten years between killing
people," Mishka said. "First time was almost twenty-eight years ago.
That was Aleks. Second time was Aenka. That was almost eighteen years, now.
Then..." Mishka drummed his fingers. "I didn't have anyone after
that. Kept myself away from people. Didn't have to kill anyone that year."
He'd already known Hansel by then. Hansel had been working on Mishka's ship for
a year or two, at that point. Mishka just hadn't been in love with him yet.

"I think," Mishka said, "I've got less than
two and a half years before the next one. Or... it was two and a half years.
It's more like two years, three months, now."

He looked away. He probably oughta bring up the real reason
he ditched Hansel in the first place, but he wasn't sure he could explain. He
glanced at Hansel.

**Izzy:**

 Hansel caught Mishka's look. They were thinking the same
thing, he figured -- it'd been somewhere in the back of his mind for a while.
He shifted and propped his chin on Goro's head, and made himself start talking
before Goro could ask another question.

"Hey. Listen. I don't, uh. I don't like talking about
shit. Might've noticed. But I don't want you to feel like -- I'm keeping shit
from you for no reason. When I tell you something's not your business, I just
mean it's fuckin' hard for me to talk about, and --." And there was
something else there, he was aware; something about vulnerability and an
incredible fear of being known. But it was too much to get into now. "And
this is hard for me to talk about, but I think you should know about it. It is
your fuckin' business, 'cause it's my fuckin' business. So.

"When Mishka and I first got married, we were -- I
mean, we're still both pretty fucked up. But -- more, then. We hadn't been
married long when Mishka realized that -- y'know." Fucking awkward to just
state that you were the most important thing in someone's life. They were
fucking married, though. "I'd be next. S'why ... he left. And did fucked up
shit Jonn probably told you about. He wanted me to hate him -- wanted to hate
me, or at least -- stop caring. Instead of having to kill me."

Maybe it was a bit more complicated than that, but that
wasn't for him to talk about, either. He kissed Mishka's forehead quickly and
propped back up on Goro. "I fucked that up for him, though. That's what I
do to his plans."

**Lina:**

 Goro compared what Hansel had just told him with Mishka's
explanation for why he'd hurt Hansel. They were different, but not contradictory,
really. After all, Goro had gotten the feeling Mishka was leaving something
out, and this could very well have been what.

So. He'd tried to make himself stop caring about Hansel so
that he wouldn't have to kill Hansel. Shitty fucking plan, if you asked
Goro--which, of course, no one had, so he would keep that thought to
himself--but in any case, it was good to understand.

Goro kissed Hansel on the cheek. "I'm sorry I pushed
you to talk about it. Thank you for telling me, but I won't ask anything more.
That door's closed. It's what lies ahead of us that matters now. Like how we're
going to kill the fucking dragon. Two years and three months? Nah, let's not
get lazy. Let's do it now. Right fucking now." He leaned over to eye the
cuff on Mishka's arm. He raised an eyebrow at it, then at Mishka. "This
isn't like a deal with Diva where he can see and hear everything you're saying,
is it? How does he know who's most important to you?"

**Coyote:**

 Mishka grimaced. Fucking-- fuck. The idea of fighting that
thing made his blood run cold.

He'd already underestimated the beast once. He'd talked to
Goro in the first place because he figured maybe Goro would think of something
he hadn't, some way to get the cuff off. "Goro," Mishka said.
"If... I can't... you'd have to... you realize I physically can't fight
him, right? You'd have to-- fight it without me. I'd be sending everyone I
fucking care about to go fight a monster I can't help them kill. Right? You are
going to die. You. And Hansel. And Joan. And Sugar. And Roddy. And whoever
else-- Raef, or Gwydion, or who knows. And then that's going to be my fault,
too. Why would I want that? Why would I want any of that?"

Great. Now he was getting upset again.

**Izzy:**

 "Guess we just won't fucking die, then," Hansel
said.

**Lina:**

 "Mhm." Goro nodded. "Once, everyone I fucking
care about had to go fight a monster I couldn't physically fight. You know how
that turned out, don't you?"

January 2, 2019

**Coyote:**

 The cold knot just tightened. Mishka looked away. He started
to speak several times, then stopped.

He thought to tell Hansel: I’m fucking terrified of losing
you. I don’t know how to deal with you dying, and you keep finding ways to
throw yourself in danger.

He thought of telling Goro: I thought you were on my side. I
thought you’d help.

He knew they meant well. Meant it as reassurance. But--
there were so many things that could go wrong. The dragon might call him in
early. That was a concern. Things were shifting over in Calimport, and the dragon
might decide he wanted to use his slave after all. All it had to do was call
him back, give him a task, and tell him not to tell anyone. It could tell him
to kill them all and they’d never know. It could tell him to conquer Skyport
for it and then hand Skyport over.

That was the part that fucked him up. It could tell him to
do anything. Tell him to enjoy it, even, tell him to make his own plans. Turn
Mishka's own mind against him. Mishka figured that might really drive him
crazy, this time.

He needed a way for them to stop him. Maybe he could write a
book. A guide. All the things that could happen, all the things that could go
wrong, and then how to stop him, how to restrain him.

Mishka took deep breaths. “Okay.” Goro said he’d gone
looking for information. He’d offered to share it. That was good. He was
over-reacting. “Okay, I just—fuck.” One step at a time. “The dragon usually
just—it sends me a sending, a magic message, whatever y’call it, tells me to
come back to him. And then I’m compelled to. And then it commands me to tell it
who I love most, and then tells me to kill that person.”(edited)

**Lina:**

 Mishka was so upset by this dragon-killing idea, he was
having to take deep breaths to calm himself down. Yeesh, couldn't be that bad,
could it? Goro hadn't been kidding with his point about everyone going off to
fight Diva without him. He'd known they could do it, but shit, even if he'd
felt less certain, trying was better than the alternative of lying down to die.

Mishka had said there were other solutions. But if that was
the case, why hadn't he done any of them already? Why hadn't he enlisted help,
if he needed it? Goro could not believe Mishka had been living with this thing
for close to thirty years and not tried everything he could think of to get it
off.

"Alright, genius," Goro said. Then he paused,
going cold, glanced quickly at Hansel and then back to Mishka. "I mean...
genuinely... smart person. If you think there's other ways to go about this
besides killing the thing, let's hear 'em. Didn't you already try getting it
off yourself? Consulting with experts? Traveling far and wide to find a
solution? I mean, I'm just assuming, knowing what I do about you."

**Izzy:**

 Hansel winced a little at Goro's falter. He didn't say
anything, just squeezed Goro against his side briefly. Sorry. It's okay. Please
don't be scared.

**Coyote:**

 “Yeah. Nevermind,” Mishka said. “I mean, yeah. Tried
everything I can think of to get it off. Tried removing curses, tried cutting
it off, tried melting it off. I’ve come up with a couple other ideas, but they
need more advanced magic than we’ve got. The trouble is, I genuinely do not
think we can beat that thing in a fair fight. Y’keep acting like this is
simple, like we just go kill it, but that thing— we’re not strong enough right
now. Maybe in a couple years we will be, but what if it calls me back before
then?”(edited)

**Izzy:**

 As much as he wanted to be the one to drive something sharp
through the dragon's eye, Hansel said, "Maybe we get help. Other people
must want that fuckin' thing dead, too. Stronger people."

For a moment, he thought able the power he'd had when
Gruumsh was inside him. If he could ...(edited)

**Coyote:**

 “Huh.” Mishka toyed with the knife he’d used on the apple.
“Somebody’s gotta want it dead.” Then waved his hand. “Well. First thing’s
first. Gotta get Hansel fixed.”

**Lina:**

 "You know, you're right. Killing a god will make the
perfect training ground for preparing to kill the Tyrant-King."

**Coyote:**

 “Goro, you are a very ambitious man. I mean, fucking crazy.
But ambitious.” He liked it.

**Izzy:**

 "Fuckin' great, right?" Hansel said fondly, and
kissed the top of Goro's head.

**Lina:**

 "Psh, that's not ambition. That's pure practicality.
Someone's messing with my people, they gotta die. All there is to it." He
sat up straighter, looking between the two of them. "But you know,
speaking of other people who might want that fuckin' thing dead."

Hm. Felt weird telling them about this, actually. They
weren't Maskarrans. But he'd just gone on that whole gripe about how this shit
was his business now, so he couldn't in fairness hold back things he knew,
either.

"There's... a rumor." He eyed Mishka's cuff again.
"Hang on. You sure he can't spy on you?"

**Coyote:**

 “I can’t imagine why he’d bother. I figure he’s busy.
Y’know. Taking over the world and such.”

**Lina:**

 Goro grimaced and arched an eyebrow. "I'm not
reassured."

**Coyote:**

 Mishka was quiet for a time. Then he said, “This is what
concerns me. If y’tell me anything... it could get to him either way. He could
figure something’s up, somehow, and command me to tell him what I know. Maybe—“
Mishka looked away. “Maybe just don’t tell me.”

This was the part that fucked him up. He wasn’t sure how
much good his plans would do if he knew all of the plans himself.

**Lina:**

 "Eh. Yeah. That's a good point. Guess we'll have to
keep you in the dark. I mean, it was the same with Diva. We had to put Hansel
in the other room sometimes, and then when I was hosted you guys couldn't talk
about your battle plans around me. At least, I'm assuming. I wasn't exactly
lucid the whole time. Ah." He pushed himself harder against Hansel. Not
happening right now. Safe. "Anyway, you say you've tried removing the
curse? As in, a Remove Curse spell? How about Dispel Magic, or Greater
Restoration?"

**Coyote:**

 “Tried it. Even went to that curse-remover gal— the black
cat, I mean. No such luck. She told me some nonsense about how the cuff isn’t
cursed, it just is a curse. Said she couldn’t do anything. Haven’t found a
cleric who can get it off, either.”

Maybe they were right. “I’ve thought about killing myself
and having someone carve it off my corpse. Might not work, though— resurrecting
me might just stitch my body back together. There’s a spell that clones a
person... that might work. Can’t cast it, though. Too strong. Ombre could,
maybe, if she were stronger.”

He hesitated. “Maybe we just need more time. The important
thing is, if I get called back early— you’ve gotta restrain me somehow.”

He hesitated one last time. “I have a set of manacles.
Pretty things. Stole ‘em. Dimensional shackles, they’re called. I got ‘em for,
ah... reasons.”

Recreational reasons, maybe. Mishka had just kind of seen
them and taken them. The idea of not being able to get away, not being able to
escape, was fucking fascinating.

Sometimes back on the Red Blade, he’d push himself a bit too
far. Use all his magic. Use a fireball to fire a warning shot at an enemy ship
when a cannonball could’ve done equally well. Or hit harder than he had to
during battle, using extra spells. Had to show off to strike fear into the hearts
of your enemies, right?

And then at the end of the day, he’d be drained. Empty.
Feeling oddly human and mortal.

It was fucking fascinating: the idea of being helpless and
unable to use magic. The shackles had given him the same feeling: a slow, hot
burn.

“Anyway,” Mishka said. “They keep spellcasters from getting
away. You ever need to catch me and keep me down, use ‘em.”

**Izzy:**

 Hansel was quiet for a moment, mulling over the options. He
hadn't been around Ombre much -- he'd said some shit to her, once, and he
didn't think she particularly cared for him because of it. It was fair. She had
a tendency to blink away when he was nearby. But he knew she was pretty fucking
powerful. The fact that what sounded like their best, safest bet was beyond her
was ... concerning.

Shackles, though. He thought about making some joke about
Mishka's reasons. Thought you wanted me to be the one tied up for once. Might
make him laugh. But Hansel didn't find it that funny -- the image of Mishka
locked up the way Goro had been in the Basha cellar, for god knew how long --
having to fight him again -- losing him, again, in any way. Yeah. Not fucking
funny.

"All right," he said quietly. "I'll hold
onto'em for you. But I'm still gonna kill that fucking dragon." He had a
thought. "Hey, chatichi -- that ring you got from Diva. Keeps people from
getting in your head, right, like it did with her? That kinda thing shield Mishka
from even hearing the dragon call him back, you think?"

**Coyote:**

 Hansel had a grim look on his face. Mishka weaseled and arm
around his back— between the couch cushions.

Mishka was actually starting to relax. Felt like there were
solutions. Felt like there were ideas he hadn’t thought of.

He wasn’t sure what Hansel was thinking of, but he could
guess. Likely the ‘fighting each other’ thing again. Mishka patted his back a
moment.

**Lina:**

 "Uh. It might. No one can send thoughts into your head
unless you let them." He played with the ring, spinning it around his
finger. Were they going to ask him to give it to Mishka? Well. Shit. He
couldn't exactly argue with that. Still, the hell he'd gone through to get this
ring. He ground his teeth together a moment. "What would the dragon do if
you just ignored him, though?"

**Coyote:**

 “If I don’t take his messages, y’mean? I mean— if I receive
a command, I have to obey, but if I can stop myself from receiving the
command... I don’t know. Might come and get me. Might have better things to
do.” Mishka figured he was generally beneath the monster’s notice. “It’s a good
idea. Don’t want to steal your stuff, though. Maybe there’s another one
somewhere. I figure we’ve got another year, minimum, before we start getting
close enough for it to be a danger.”

**Lina:**

 "I'll give it to you, if you need it." He would.
He wasn't too much of a selfish ass to see how clearly it benefitted everyone.
Maybe they could find another, though. And maybe no one would have to go
trading a minute of their lives for it, imagine that. "Another question,
though. You ever hear of a spell called Dispel Evil and Good? Lots of people
don't know about it. Hard to learn, not as common as something like Dispel
Magic."

**Coyote:**

 “Tried it. No such luck,” Mishka said. “Well— I mean— the
spell didn’t get it off. But I looked into that one a little more. Maybe it’d work
if I was commanded to do something. Maybe it wouldn’t get the cuff off, but...
maybe it’d break the compulsion. Until the dragon commanded me to do something
else, I suppose. Worth a shot.”(edited)

**Lina:**

 "We've got easy enough access. Amari knows how to cast
it." Granted, Amari was days away from them, if Mishka was out of commission
and couldn't work the teleportation circle. But hopefully that wouldn't always
be the case. Hopefully she'd change her mind.

Goro hummed to himself, eyes on Mishka's cuff. He leaned in
closer and started to reach for it. "May I?"

**Coyote:**

 Mishka watched him. Considered it. Then held out his wrist.

**Lina:**

 Goro held Mishka's hand and leaned in closer, practically
lying across Hansel's lap. He prodded at the cuff, pinched it and gently tried
to slide it up and down, but it didn't budge. Like it was melded to Mishka's
skin. He moved Mishka's hand around so he could examine the thing from
different angles, his eyes raking over it, searching for any flaw or
imperfection. There were small engravings on the edges. "What language is
this? Draconic?"

**Coyote:**

 “Took it to a researcher. Said it was primordial. It’s
nothing interesting. Just runes for obedience and binding. The dialect looks
old, they said. Older than before the Calamity. Back a couple thousand years,
maybe.”(edited)

**Lina:**

 Goro's eyes widened. "Shit. While I was asking around I
couldn't really get a handle on how old he was, but I didn't think he was that
old. Hell." He went back to examining the cuff. He tapped his fingernail
on it. "Have you ever managed to scratch it? Mark it?"

**Coyote:**

 “Nope. Nothing.”

**Lina:**

 "How about transmutation magic?"

**Coyote:**

 “Well, that spell Turtle Kid does,” Mishka said. “The one that
heats metal. That works on it. I mean, he’s never cast it on me before, but...
had it cast on me, once. Hurt like a motherfucker. Couldn’t get it off. But
nothing else worked. Can’t change the shape of it or transmute it into a
different material, if that’s what you mean.”

**Lina:**

 "Hm. And what if... we transmute you--" Goro
touched his nose-- "into a form with no arms?"

**Coyote:**

 Mishka's mouth twitched up at the corner. He batted Goro's
hand away, but couldn't hide his amusement. "That's a good idea." He
didn't let himself get his hopes up, though. "I've never tried it. When I
use that alteration spell on the mask, my items just kind've meld into me, even
if they're magic. This thing might be... different, though." He lapsed
into silence. "The researcher I took it to called it an 'artifact.' Dunno
what that means. He said they're a type of-- very old magic. Different."

January 3, 2019

**Lina:**

 "Worth looking into. We could ask Ombre, see if she has
any ideas. Man, this thing puzzles me. It's got visible wear on it from age,
but you say you can't scratch it at all. How the hell does that work, I
wonder?" Goro glanced it over one more time, then shifted his focus to
Mishka's skin. He wondered if it had hurt when the dragon put the cuff on. But
that was something he didn't need to know the answer to, so he didn't ask. He
kissed the back of Mishka's hand and then let go, pulling back and settling
against Hansel's side again.

January 4, 2019

**Coyote:**

 Mishka let his hand drop. He inspected the cuff again. There
were faint scratch marks on it— like nails, scrabbling at the metal. “Huh.
Maybe that part of the enchantment wasn’t added until later.”(edited)

**Izzy:**

 Hansel was close to dozing -- the night's excitement fully
drained out of him, highly contented by having Mishka and Goro against each of
his sides, talking quietly, making plans. Fuckin' getting along, all of them.
Made things less daunting. He and Mishka had always watched each other's backs,
been strong when the other was weak, and it could make things fucking difficult
when they were both scared, both tired, both weak. Having another person around
was ... good. Really fucking good. Even if all three of them were freaked out,
they could all hold onto each other and keep their heads above water.

He was goddamn exhausted, and he wanted to go crawl into bed
and get a little more sleep before the sun rose -- let them stay up and talk,
or drag them along with him, either way. Wanted them to stick together, for
safety, but as long as the two of them were together, at least, he wasn't that
worried.

Hm. The thought woke him back up, though. Roddy and Nixie
and the others -- they were all still alone. There was no real reason to assume
Asenka was done with them for the night -- if Mishka really had seen her in the
forest, then Hansel's attack hadn't put her out of commission for any real length
of time. And even if he hadn't, shit -- why take the chance? They were all
safe, and calm, and okay. They had to think about the crew.

"Hey," he said. Nixie slept on the ship. Maybe
it'd be best for Mishka to crack down to her, bring her back. The rest, in the
castle, they wouldn't take so long to gather up. "We should --."

Something fucking screamed before he could finish his
thought. He jolted up immediately and grabbed his trident off the wall, fully
awake again. Wasn't a familiar scream. Fucking Asenka. Nearby.

Roddy.

[END]

Title: Snow. Summary: Hansel and Mishka go after Goro and
chase him down in the woods, managing to convince him to come back to the
castle. They make up and all share information about Asenka, Rexarius, and the
cuff.(edited)

January 12, 2019