Chapter 2: Power of the Babe

After meeting Jesus for the first time, the gang set course for castle Fickensteijn, hoping the lord would help them in their time of trouble. On the first night of their journey, Jesus summoned the gang and explained the situation a bit more thoroughly. He had saved a 100 refugees from their planet, Earth, from almost certain death at the hands of inconceivably powerful weaponry. He took them here because this would be the safest alternative world for them to live in. Furthermore, he explained that the reason God is fed up with humanity is that he's had it with the pain and suffering they ceaselessly inflict upon each other. Jesus explained that among these refugees, there were five people who were strongly linked to the heroes themselves, although he didn't really specify how. Bennis encountered Smui, his 'special refugee', who instantly belittled him by not calling him 'lord'. This quickly escalated into Close Quarters Combat, in which Smui easily gained the upper hand, until Crysis did his job and broke the two apart. Felipe also ran into Thmo while selflessly sprokkling wood for the fires. Felipe was estranged by the appearance of this beautiful woman. Ava once again fell flat on her face, this time while attempting to steal a pie from a child. Then everyone went to sleep, inflicting no further pain and suffering upon each other and themselves.

The next morning, the stoet headed for Fickensteijn and arrived at high noon. Except for Bennis and Crysis, who temporarily abandoned the campaign because Jesus wasn't convincing to Bennis. They turned the Pussy Wagon around and rejoined after Bennis learned that Smui knows more than should be possible about Crysis. Upon arrival at the castle, the gates were closed and Lord Frank addressed Jesus and Co from the wall, agitated and visibly concerned. Leopold took charge of the diplomacy. While the gates were closed before them, he persuaded Lord Frank to let him inside so they could discuss. Together they went for the lord's quarters, where Frank tried to rip Leopold off with a scandalously high price for the requested resources. Leopold suggested an alternate course of action, to which lord Frank frankeed. He took Leopold to his secret room, his D'Fuckhouse, covertly created by Leopold years ago so the lord could have sex with mistresses unnoticed. Past the sound-proof bookcase, the lord showed Leo a menacing crib. Inside was a baby, but no ordinary one! This babe could talk!

"Get... rid of this unholy monster for me. I don't want to ever see his face again. If you promise me this, you shall have your food." Leopold agreed and took the child under his care. On his way out, he stared so deeply into the eyes of the lord's bodyguard that he noticed her eyes were the same as bebe's. Leo rejoined the group and told them of his succes, but hid the baby from view in his carriage.

After this transpired, screams were heard from a nearby hovel. Felipe checked it out and found a woman who was about to give birth. But her midwife lay passed out in a chair and her husband was in a state of distress. Felipe took it upon himself to help her out by skillfully evicting the baby. The family was immensely grateful and named the child after him. They also offered him a small sum of money they had saved up to pay the midwife, but Felipe turned it down. Leopold took note of that however...

Meanwhile, Ava ran into a sad dog tied to a leash on a stick. Carefully, she attempted to pet it, and succeeded! The dog yapped happily, but the Black Blacksmith who apparently owned the dog wasn't happy that a stranger was interacting with his canine and tried to shoo her away. After a short argument he tried to punch her, but somehow only managed to punch himself unconscious. This attempted assault justified that the gang could take his dog with them. Crysis yanked the stick out of the ground and brought the dog to the Pussy wagon, ironically. This must be quite a large vehicle I assume.

The day ended with some beer at the bar, with wine for Felipe. Bennis, a drinker of good liquors, challenged his new companions with a drinking game. Only Leopold and Crysis abstained, but the rest joined in. Bennis suggested the first one to pass out had to kiss Leopold! This sudden condition sparked protest within Felipe, but the others pressured him to stay in the game nonetheless. They drank and drank, and alas, Felipe's liver was too weak to handle this much booze, so he lost. The others were ecstatic, and told him he had to kiss. Felipe was very drunk but not drunk enough to consent to 'heresy' of such proportions, so he resisted.

While this transpired nobody noticed that Leopold had left the pub. He went back to the peasants house and knocked on the door. A happy father opened the door. Leopold then cunningly told the man that his friend Felipe was way too polite to accept payment for a service done from the kindness of his heart, and said he'd gladly give it to him instead. This gave the dad the impression that Leopold could be trusted, so he happily handed him the 50 dookoos. Leopold wished him a good night and put the money in his own aftroggelzakje as he walked away.