Mara's Observations on Affairs Both Mortal and...Not

Mara "Creep"

## S1E18 - How I Met J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N Sharpe

My First Day as an Assassin:
Today I met a few mortals who call themselves "assassins." It's a funny idea, murdering people for money - who thinks of this stuff? Even more confusing is who would actually pay for such a thing. What is even the point!? Oh well, at least I got "one coin" from it.

That's another thing! Why does everyone keep talking about it as a single coin!? This is a lot of coins! Proper conjugation is important to correct grammar - just like the pre-Cataclysm philosopher Emily Post wrote about! Perhaps I'll make an educational pamphlet about the proper use of the plural form and leave it about that stinky tavern the assassins like to hang out in.

After the bar we went to a fancy party. I had to wear a "disguise", which is a long garment that's all open in the bottom, like a pant leg, but bigger and all the way around. It was very breezy and kept twirling about when I moved! That part was actually pretty nice, but it was very cold. I could perhaps be convinced to wear one again, but I'll need to acquire heavier stockings.

The cook is a very silly person. He has big arms, all tattooed in ink, and his elocution is horrific - I couldn't understand a word he said, but the way he carved pictures into the dinner meat made the ghosts come and play! That was a very interesting trick, and one I should certainly like to try myself! I doubt I'd be able to understand even if he tried to teach me though, so I'll have to find a book about it.

There was a mean lady at the party, and I offered her flowers; they were very pretty - just like the ones at funerals in the before times. She hated them! I have no idea what was wrong with them, although my research since has suggested it might be an "allergic reaction." She turned all red in the fact and started ~~sneezing~~ screaming at the nice lady. Screaming seems pretty close to sneezing, so I'm pretty sure that's what happened.

I tried to apologize, but she didn't want to apologize, so I brought her an extra fizzy drink from Cook. Amadeus spent **a lot** of time with her, and their courtship seemed much more effective than my own. It doesn't make much sense though, because I'm the one who brought her flowers *and* showed an interest in her life when I brought her husband to settle their dispute so she could move on. These are elements of courtship that have been clearly established in multiple source documents, and the should have worked. *Requires additional research.*

Bedlam is kind of like a ghost! Ae keep popping up here, and there, and then over here again! I'm not sure how ae do it, but maybe if I watch closely, I can figure it out! Ae isn't like ghosts in that ae can dance though - everyone seemed to really like that bit (*especially* the nice lady - is this more courtship?). I didn't really like it though...too much touching. Maybe touching would be ok if it was just with the nice lady though?

Oh, and I made a new friend!!! His name is J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N Sharpe, and he is very sad. I tried to help him be happier by talking to his wife (the mean lady!), but he got distracted and ate the nice lady. It's hard to be sad, I understand. I'm going to try to find the nice lady again and see if she wants to be friends too - apparently Jonathan is her brother! It must be nice to have family.

There was also a wedding, but it wasn't very excited. I got to throw flowers at the mean lady (and Amadeus) though, and that felt nice. She *really* doesn't like me. My face still smells of charcoal and my fingers are sticky from plucking the petals, so it was a good night.

I wonder who I'll meet next?

Good night, diary. Sleep tight. Don't let the bookworms bite!

## S#E# - Session Title

Year, Month Day
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