Episode 47 - Suffering (Part 2)

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everything is lovely everything is bright [Music] everything is here because of glorious desire [Music] everything becoming our salvation night you and i [Music] we will survive everything is broken everything is pain everything is dark and pointless what is there to say [Music] everything is empty everything will die [Music] you and i well welcome to the first trump era episode of the liturgist podcast part two of our trilogy on suffering and the election results were so significant that they changed our planned content for this episode so we're uh to use a football term calling an audible i think i'm using that correctly uh and we're changing this episode to include a discussion of suffering in a national political context where do you where's your pulse on on people right now i mean the first day i i could barely like function i really couldn't even like get out of bed hardly i felt hungover yeah and i didn't drink any alcohol but i feel i mean i don't feel the same as that so there's just something about what's what's you know what's happening in our brains chemically as we're grieving as we're starting this those of us that didn't want this to happen yeah so grief is a non-linear process and the classic stages of grief are a good descriptor but they imply a chronological progression that isn't accurate and there's also more distinct phases and components of grief um but there's a sense of um separation anxiety is one of the primary neurological motivators for the griefing process and in many ways for some people the grief of the loss of hillary clinton is a expression of a separation anxiety of a parasocial relationship they had an expectation that they would have a significant parasocial relationship with hillary clinton someone who to some degree they admired or respected and instead now they will have a prolonged parasocial relationship they were looking forward to breaking off with donald trump now president-elect trump and so what you see is a lot of confusion on is the grief justified for how long is the grief justified and what do we do while we grieve and after we grieve and it's creating a what was already a very charged environment in our culture thanks to the election has actually become even more charged post-election an outcome i did not expect of course i like so many i was completely blindsided by donald trump's uh victory in the electoral college although not in the popular vote and what i've noticed is a tendency for most people to ascribe what is or is not an appropriate reaction to this news even emotionally some people would say we've just got to grow up and suck it up the you know the other side won or or more commonly we won um or you say people saying it's okay to grieve right now but this shouldn't be happening in a week and given the significance of the trauma people are feeling based on the election and some of the post-election announcements like steve bannon being appointed to a significantly powerful position within the white house who is uh in many people's view mine included a documented overt racist and white nationalist for people who fear that their basic right to life or liberty is now directly under siege it's difficult it's impossible to appropriately say this is the timeline with which a grief reaction is appropriate psychologically speaking i think many mental health experts would say it's completely appropriate for this to take weeks or months in the absence of additional trauma and the question for people is how much additional trauma will they experience as a result of this election and so it's a very odd energy right now that the way we're addressing existing suffering actually influences how much additional suffering occurs beyond that which is already happening [Music] yeah when you don't leave space for people to grieve it turns into repression and internalizing things that don't get resolved and then that just that doesn't go away it doesn't just like solve itself it appears in other more harmful ways often today we're going to be getting to some more ideas about suffering and this time that we're in right now puts us in this unique position where we're all in this same crazy storm together regardless of what side of it you're on we all live in a country or in a world where the most powerful military in the world is coming from this country that's incredibly divided that is incredibly tense so we're all in this big boat together and so we're all suffering on some level some of us more than others but i think one of the things that as we listen to to people's stories today that we're going to be listening to and some of the thoughts that are going to come i think there's some good practices that we can engage in for our own suffering like one of the big turning points for me this week emotionally was when i called you the other day mike and we'd um process through a lot of this stuff together and it started super like gloomy and totally nihilistic i had to walk outside to not terrify my family yeah we went into like the worst possible scenarios and for us we process grief by just going fully fully down the darkness almost gleefully yeah well it became gleeful that was so funny by the end of the conversation we're both laughing because we just went all the way down and there's something to that though i don't know if everybody has to be as dark as we can get but there's something about looking at it right in the face and and seeing okay i'm feeling despondent i'm feeling afraid i'm feeling and looking at that and and when you can just look at it you go all the way into it not avert your eyes from it look it right in the face and you see at some point you look at it long enough and you just breathe and you sit there and you look at it eventually it just becomes looking rather than being and you can look it i'm afraid look at the chemicals in my brain are interacting with the acid in my stomach and my br i'm breathing short look at that no judgment about that just looking at it seeing it and you might find you just look at it for a minute and your breath gets a little slower it's a little bit slower and that's a practice it's mindfulness you can start processing things just by looking just keeping your eyes open not averting your gaze just thinking about the future but being present in in right now and what am i so i'm feeling afraid but what's actually happening to me right now what is what is my body doing what's happening to me yeah cortisol flood see this ongoing flight or fight response associated with the grief and the fear elevated cortisol therefore you actually get systemic inflammation in some cases red blood cells escape your capillaries uh and uh inflame your your soft tissues and your tendons your ligaments you feel achy um your body has a physiological response to this kind of fear and grief because parts of your your deepest parts of your brain your basal ganglia you know way deep in the limbic system uh you have a an existential fear that your survival is at stake and so you're trying to be constantly prepared to flee or fight and it's not a sustainable way for your body systems to function [Music] and the practice of mindfulness and awareness for your own personal health and well-being is essential in counteracting that on going stress when you think about how jesus said don't worry about tomorrow what was his prescription in that he didn't say like remember the bible says do not fear he didn't say you remember you know moses said this or what he didn't he didn't make an authority thing his his prescription for don't worry about tomorrow is look at look at the birds look at the flowers just open your eyes and look it doesn't mean that it takes away the necessity to fight for what you believe in or to stand up and speak for those that it doesn't take away from any of that but if you can't get out of bed what good what good can you do for the world you know what are you gonna do how are you gonna fight how are you gonna be in the fight if you can't get out of bed as you process your grief process it don't repress it we're not saying to repress we're not saying to rush to mobilize we're saying to process and to sit with and to communicate with others and cry with other people and one thing that i've learned that surprised me is after the election there's a lot of trump voters that listen to the liturgist podcast and you have a unique opportunity now to be agents of peace so you're in a great position your candidate won you got all three branches of the federal government it's pretty much a shoe-in come january that you'll control the supreme court you'll control both houses of government record advances in state government as well this is a republican-controlled country so you have a position of incredible power and privilege so my challenge to you thoughtful trump voter is when you discuss these topics with your liberal friends and neighbors don't rush them through grief and don't tell them they should not be afraid instead ask them why they are and what you learn could be instrumental in creating a nation where life liberty and the pursuit of happiness are the inalienable right of everyone welcome to the liturgist podcast everybody this is michael gunger you're listening to the second part of our conversations and stories about suffering in the last episode we looked at suffering from more of like a second or third person point of view where we listened to stories of other people's suffering and joined together to do something about the cause of one of the most ridiculous causes of suffering in the world a lack of clean water if you want to join us in that endeavor by the way please go to the liturgists.com water a bunch of you've already signed up for that and together we're going to make a difference and provide clean water for thousands of people but on the second part of today's episode we're going to shift our focus a little bit from from other people's suffering to more of a first person view of our own suffering we're going to hear from a jesus loving buddhist practicing mystic named homewin we're also going to pick up where william matthews and i left off in our conversation but first i'd like to play you this teaching from the 1970s from a man named rom das on the subject of suffering now one of the things that makes makes relationships so difficult is the way in which we protect ourselves from suffering from our own and from each other's because when you love somebody you don't want to lay your suffering on them and your fears and also you're afraid that if you open your heart too far this suffering will overwhelm you because when you look at the world you just see suffering everywhere if you scratch the surface of every person in this room you will find that there is some suffering and some people who are walking around here smiling each other and sitting down and having wonderful gentle conversations inside are have very very deep pain and deep fear but they have learned so well how to mask it from each other and the culture reinforces that saying don't bring your pain to me i only want your happiness i'll put up with a little bit of it but not much of it because you'll scare me now just as i said before that if you are going to be able to deal with see somebody else's beauty you have to be able to acknowledge your own beauty in a similar way if you are going to be able to be available for someone else's suffering you have to be able to acknowledge your own suffering and be able to understand the nature of suffering in such a way that you have converted the quality of suffering in yourself great jeff the russian philosopher said there is nothing that can be attained spiritually without suffering in life but at the same time if you are going to proceed on the journey you must sacrifice suffering [Music] you hear that dual nature of it you have to have suffered because the suffering is what burns through you and brings deepens the compassion and opens the door suffering brings you closer to the mystery and at the same moment if you hold on to the suffering and grab at it and sort of wallow in it or cling to it it stops the journey there is an understanding of suffering such that you don't invite suffering into your life but when it comes you work with it and transform it i mean the extreme of it is the christian monk who's saying god god give me more pain give me more suffering because i want to get closer to you and maharaj is saying do you like suffering a joy and saying i love suffering it brings me so close to god to understand the nature of suffering is the precondition for being able to convert it to see the way in which suffering is grace that suffering is a gift that's given to you to allow you to come home because the and the understanding is contained in the buddha's first three noble truths hello hi is this home this is home hi this is michael gunger michael we're doing an episode on our podcast about suffering i'd love to kind of move on to first person and how our suffering is related to our attachments and some of the buddhist ideas about that and and while a lot of our base is christian i think a lot of christians have missed out on some of the richness that buddhism has brought to i mean the whole idea of suffering is obviously so central within buddhism and and i think any healthy person regardless whether the buddhist or not has a lot to learn from yes that tradition wow first the acceptance that just having life just being alive their suffering i mean we all have some kind of addiction being human i am i'm addicted to pleasant sensation and i have aversion to unpleasant sensations and so i'm constantly reacting to that and so when you were talking about attachment i'm really not attached to the thing itself but i'm attached to the the feeling and the sensation that i get from whatever that thing is yeah and so when i say attachment i also see it as a kind of unconscious addiction that we that as human beings we have addiction to anger or addiction to fear or addiction to greed or addiction to seduction and then for some of us like addiction to a certain kind of experience you know i have a teacher who who said something that is so helpful for me she said if you can feel it you can heal it you can feel it you can heal it so like if i can feel the suffering that i have and if i can accept that in that moment i'm experiencing suffering and without judging of suffering as bad or suffering is something like without any judgment of that about that particular experience then in that in itself is liberation like the healing process begins you know i grew up being a catholic schoolboy and i heard a lot very often the trinity and the holy spirit and the father and so on and for a long time i just couldn't understand what in the world is the holy spirit right and even when i first moved to the farm and being in community with the sisters of the community of the holy spirit i am constantly hearing that turn and trying to make sense of it and then um finally like after years and years of practicing meditation from a buddhist origin vipastana one of the foundational practices of observing the breath for example that when i pay attention to the breath and feeling the breath entering and then leaving my body and entering they're like feeling the life force that flows through me and i i also came to not a cognitive understanding but a visceral understanding of what the holy spirit is which is the holy breath right the holy spirit is the holy breath and then feeling the breath as as holy feeling alive as holy and so one of the one of the practices of buddhist meditation was one of the foundational practices observing the breath paying attention to the breath noticing the subtlety of the breath feeling the breath being with the breath to me is that is such a direct way to experience holy spirit the life force [Music] for years and years i had physical conditions in a form of like a very painful ulcer and some migraines and insomnia and i remember the pain in my stomach was so painful that i have to sleep sitting up and uh my father being a doctor a western trained physician he would prescribe me different medicines and i would take it and it would last it would work for you know a month or two and then it would not work after that and so you know i it was so painful and i really suffered because i hated that pain yeah and i didn't know how to get out of it but something happened during the process of learning to practice meditation and then going deeper and learning to observe pain as pain yeah observe headaches as headaches like the sensation the actual sensation of headaches or the actual sensations that keep me in the state of uh insomnia what's the actual sensation for them for the actual sensation of the ulcer itself and all the emotions and the memories and the subconscious what's the word in buddhist is called sankara or samsara all of the the subconscious uh gooey that comes with that sensation that's not a very uh scientific word [Laughter] but i cannot think of a different word at the moment but like it was just so painful and i just had no idea how to get rid of it and i would try to get rid of it by you know take medicine or get myself distracted but it's it's remain there until i learn the technique of observe pain as pain observe the actual sensation and sensation with the awareness that all sensation as with everything in nature arise and pass passes away arises and passes away you know until i learn the technique of being so present to the pain and breathe into the pain and breathe through the pain being non-non-flinching and observe the pain the pain the pain releases itself [Music] like the evaporation if i look at the sky and someday the sky is uh stormy and dark and thundering you know it's it's either i'm i'm looking at the the thundering scary storm and i'm judging the storm as like bad storm and i wish it'd go away or you know if i'm hating it it doesn't make it go away any faster except that if i'm just being present to the storm and i take care of whatever i need to take care and and so the storm or whatever the condition of the sky eventually changes right but at the intellectual level i understand that but when the pain shows up in my body if i don't have a stable mind equanimity right there's the calmness of mine to observe it then i get swept into the pain then then the pain becomes suffering it's normal at so many different points in our life to feel like something is getting in the way of being present or happy something stopping us from achieving the goals that we have for ourselves or feeling connected to the people that we love betterhelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist to help you work on all those things you can connect with someone in a safe and private online environment for that reason it's so convenient you don't even have to leave the house you can start working with someone in under 24 hours when working with someone through better help you can send a message to your counselor at any time and get a timely and thoughtful response plus you can schedule weekly video and phone sessions betterhelp has licensed professional counselors who are specialized in treating things like depression anxiety navigating family conflicts and so much more they're committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed anything you share with your counselor is confidential so many people have been using better help that they're recruiting additional counselors in all 50 states start living a happier life today as a listener you get 10 off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com liturgists join over 1 million people taking care of their mental health again it's betterhelp h-e-l-p-com slash liturgists [Music] this idea of loving without attachment is a tricky tension to navigate within because attachment is where your happiness your joy your satisfaction is tied to something so if if i say i love you but that comes with all this attachment of all these expectations of what i have of you and what you how i need you to be happy i need you to be fulfilled i have this hole in my heart without you those are attachments and it's a romantic thing in our culture right it's like everyone wants to be needed and everyone wants the person that they're with to to be devastated without them and to be miserable without them that's not attachment that's jealousy but jealousy stems from attachment yeah um and the buddhists talk about how suffering is first of all the nature of everything it is sort of human existence and its entire his suffering everybody suffers um and we should be slow to judge how much suffering someone else has and knowing thinking we can just categorize and understand the fact that somebody's a billionaire doesn't mean like you think donald trump's not suffering that guy is full of suffering he's got the whole world paying attention to him he's got all this money all these people kissing his ass and he's obviously affected by things said about exactly he's suffering that is a form of suffering you're right that's a miserable life i don't want donald trump's life nope so anyway desire is the cause for the buddhist the desire is the root of suffering and maybe you could say attachment yeah um and it's when i want something to be other than what it is that causes suffering yeah so there's an element and that's one interesting thing about how the christian message brings in the redemptive suffering and the value of suffering in certain ways um again that navigating that tension between being attached in a way that actually makes the love that we're trying to do that we're trying to enact that we're trying to embody in the world it makes it a selfish thing it makes it a it's bent back towards itself and i think that's when it really starts getting heavy is when it's not just that i want the one percent at the top to not oppress the rest of the 99 it's not just that it's i want to be seen as the person who wants the one percent you know like there's other little things that get in there i want to be is that that's self-righteousness right without that what that is yeah and i think that can be a million things is there's these little attachments of i need i need this cause to feel worthy of something i need to feel like a good person i need to whatever there's these attachments and that get wound up in our love and we attach our own joy and our own satisfaction yeah to the results of these things and so navigating [Music] those what seem to be contradictory but i guess paradoxical streams of loving fully desiring the good for others and for yourself fully without attachment and that's a difficult yeah thing to to achieve but i think there's like these it's it's a sort of a balancing act of being able to see from different reference points [Music] simultaneously i feel like i learned that with praying for sick people or wanting sick people to be healed is i have a attachment to how i want you to be in the world i want you to be healthy i want you to be whole i want you to be healed and here i want you to be what i call it normal and yet something is happening to you that's not making you what i think you should be or how i think you should function yeah yeah so then it's like i've been really wrestling like okay how do i i how do i pray for you is do i pray for you and what is that what should that prayer sound like how should i pray in a way that doesn't just affirm my attachments to how i think you should be but actually offers you up to you know god offers you up to life and and how it moves and how it happens and yet still go still be mad at like i'm mad that they have cancer like i'm mad that they are suffering right now and maybe in their body or they feel pain in a deep way well and that's sort of the different reference frames that i was talking about where you can kind of see it from different angles i was thinking today about like an actor like in a scene you know uh leonardo dicaprio and he's going he's in the emotion you know i mean like you see those scenes with leonardo where he's just lost in this character there's something in his brain that knows he's leonardo dicaprio and not the titanic dude or whatever you know like but he's playing he's playing this game he's playing this part but he's able to see both of those things at the same time so that dual awareness that multiple perspectives allows an actor to function on a set uh if you go a little like ramdas on this we are actors in this play and it's quite exceptional that the people that can fully forget that they're actors they're actually kind of it's kind of a an amazing thing that some of us don't realize what we are and we're just so into the role um but i think when you get lost when when the issue becomes getting paralyzed with attachment getting paralyzed with despondency from the work that you want to do from the life that you want to live because there's just too much being overwhelmed one helpful thing is seeing what we are that that we are players on a stage that this is oh you're going cosmic on me i'm going cosmic this is inception inception inception etc um that we're seeing the vapor of it all that we're seeing sounds like a song i know yeah um meaningless meaningless ecclesiastes that we're seeing that at the same time as we're seeing the thing that we don't feel is meaningless like there's a light hearted play about the universe where this where these vibrating strings where this music and it's moving and it has dissonance in it and it has moments that you don't think it's going to be okay but as as a whole thing when you look at it from a different perspective i've been able to see this at times yeah um and it's hard to put words to from this plane from this perspective within the play within the movie within the song as one of the notes it's hard to say this but when you can step outside of it and kind of see it's perfect it's as it should be it's all this one beautiful symphony and again when you go back into the plane of i'm an individual that exists and you're an individual that exists and you have needs that are different from my needs and our needs are con conflicting and we are fighting in that plane which we all are playing we're all actors in this plane we're all actors on this stage not everything is perfect yeah and to say so feels very inappropriate it doesn't matter that isn't what's happening from this plane because it's not true yeah but from a different plane you step back and there is no you or me yeah it's just those are not it's not a real separation from a different perspective so some of that cosmic stuff at least for me and for a lot of mystics and buddhists uh makes you feel makes us nap helps us navigate yeah the tent this tension of attachment and love in a more effective way i i'm fully there i see it i see it from the cosmic perspective too you know renee gerard the french philosopher who i love uh he you know talks he coined the phrase interdividual you know as a way of seeing that we are the real me is the william to michael relationship the michael to william relationship that is the real whatever we are we are not simply autonomous as we uh like to think as much we are so interconnected metaphysically spiritually emotionally like that you know i like that if you could extend that also to the lamp and to the carpet and the clouds maybe maybe it's a distant connection but it's not oh no no no that's fundamental it's it's the essence of it all it's like the it's like saying that one character on a computer screen is different from another well yeah from the perspective of looking at a computer screen but it's all the computer screen true fair from that perspective yes i fully i am the carpet and the carpet is me yes um is that is that ram dust enough for you i am the carpet and the carpet is me i am the tree and the tree is me now you understand all of younger's music yes finally i love it [Music] something i want to say if we're going to go let me just go back a little bit into the matrix because i agree with you i am the tree and i am the carpet and you are it i am me you are you whatever i get it i'm not saying it right but uh i think what's interesting about some of our civil rights icons which to me is what they were all hitting on when i think of the 60s malcolm x martin luther king the last year of martin luther king's life one of the things that he did was he he removed his focus simply on black suffering and simply white supremacy and he started understanding that racism was also connected to classism and economic uh and economic issues and so one of the things the last year of his life that his message shifted from simply uh getting black people free it was actually all of us are entering into a realm or all of us suffer all of us have been brutalized actually and whether it's the brown man or even the white man to a degree and martin luther king was planning a poor man's march on washington that was his next thing and he started calling out uh empire capitalism and the vietnam war and he started attacking these uh he started realizing that hey if we mobilized the 99 then we could actually get the change in results that we want boom he's dead malcolm x very similar malcolm x was just focused on black freedom and then he went to mecca and pretty much had an encounter of some sort that made him realize the universality of all things and all people and he saw all colors and people at the dome of the rock and it motive when he came back he started shifting his message realizing how much he had been demonizing white people and that's when he was killed and so i have this thing that i wonder if and i feel like this is the moment we're in right now if and i feel like the the best person that encapsulated this message believe it or not was bernie sanders because he was the one political candidate who understood that if the 99 realized that we're all part of this universal thing that is actually uh that we have more power together than we do in our own isolated oppression struggles and obviously there's been tons of work on intersectionality and you know this this interlocking matrix of systems of oppression and you know you know racism is classism is homophobia is you know xenophobia like it's all like kind of they're all cousins they're all running together um and whatnot misogyny same thing uh i i just have this vision and i don't i think this is maybe a planetary vision a body of christ's vision um when i think of it in the cosmic christ sense that if we all could realize like you're saying that we are the other that we are connected that we are all not to lose our distinctions but to actually add our distinctions in this this cosmic bowl so to speak that we actually would become the embodiment of love and we would become the embodiment of the christ and we would actually begin to transcend our own unique particular experiences and really understand that we are one and i i think it's cosmic i think it's it's bigger than one religion i think it's bigger than one race i think it's bigger than one attitude or thought or school of thought i think it is all of us together representing the being aware of the universal thing there is the kind of lazy colorblind intersectional blind just like you know everybody's the same as me just kind of totally that's that erases distinction same with universalism oftentimes which is foolishness and harmful yeah and that's not what we're talking about yeah we're talking about a deeper awareness and awareness and consciousness consciousness yeah that um that all distinction is part yes of that hole and what makes the hole beautiful another another way uh i found very helpful uh titnihan i once heard uh he gave this uh example you know we're walking along and live and either by accident or or by intention someone shot an arrow in the arrow puncture our body right and uh and will feel intense pain but what we do often is like he he gives the example we we pull out the arrow but rather than put down the arrow we take the same arrow and we puncture ourselves over and over and over again on the same spot [Music] and so he went on to explain this is what we do constantly yeah we experience the pain first it's a physical thing yeah yeah and then we turn it into a psychological pain uh by puncturing ourselves over and over yeah that's interesting by um churning and hating the pain yeah and uh and being afraid of what the pain is gonna create more pain and yes so another example um i remember when i was going through these very intense training to work with people who have uh who have had trauma sexual traumas and i remember the teacher said you know when you see a child running towards you and this child is crying [Music] and you can see that this child is in pain [Music] what's the most important question to ask that child in that moment [Music] right you can see that the child is suffering and so different people gave different answers like you know what's the matter you know why are you crying i remember the instructions that the most important question in that moment is where do you feel this pain and what is this pain feels like for you right now supporting and holding the space uh for the child to feel the pain rather than avoid yeah yeah or you know some some parents sometimes you know they have a hard time watching their their child in pain so what they do is oh eat this or get yourself distracted watch tv or you know here's the candy right so stopping the child from crying but that actually suppressed the pain which eventually turned into suffering become a subconscious suffering i i just know even from personal experience yeah there's something so powerful about seeing what you're experiencing without judgment but just seeing it and when you see it for what it is you can recognize how much of the suffering that you thought was directly that it was the suffering you can kind of see it separately from the suffering and when you see it like that it's kind of it you're right a lot of the suffering just kind of vanishes because i can be really freaked out right now and sit here and worry and have all this suffering about what's going to happen to our country but that suffering is not anything real [Music] all of this phantom clouded fear and when i can look at it is oh look at that's just that's a that's a that's an emotion that's happening fear because there's i don't know what's going to happen and at the same time be aware of this breath that keeps happening in this heartbeat that keeps happening and this breeze is flowing through this tree right next to me and the sun that's still shining on my skin right now and all together when you just see it and experience it all more truly more mindfully it's a it's a more rooted and healthy place to experience suffering from and actually the suffering radically decreases what might today we'd like to finish this show with an exercise with the meditation so if you're driving or in a busy place you might want to push pause until a later time when you can get into some quiet place yourself in a comfortable sitting position close your eyes and go to your breath [Music] in and out in [Music] and out now if you will imagine a door in the center of your chest is that door open or is it closed [Music] if it's closed would you dare to let it open slowly [Music] now go back to your breath and with every inhalation there is a mist made of the purest light when you breathe in it goes right through the doorway and into your heart that light it fills every space through your body every shadow every time you inhale that pure light that mist it softens it opened it soothes and when you breathe out you breathe out all the anxiety all the fear all the tension every breath you breathe out you breathe out every single thing that keeps you attached to that fear [Music] all the expectations [Music] all the insecurities [Music] all the places that are closed off begin to open and you breathe in that light [Music] um just continue to breathe [Music] if thoughts come to your head just see them and breathe them out through the door [Music] if there's pain in your body just breathe it out any place that has darkness through your mind through your soul just breathe it out the door and find it replaced with that light the cool mist [Music] every breath this holy spirit [Music] every breath is grace [Music] now your whole body is full of light feel it completely take over every shadow [Music] the apostle paul said it is no longer i who lives but christ in me now you'll notice as you breathe in and out that light begins to go out the door as well is no more darkness there is no more anxiety no more attachment just grace just spirit continue to breathe it in it's infinite there's no end to it it just keeps coming in but then you breathe it back out and it begins to fill the world around you [Music] see that light pouring into your home your family your friends your workplace your town your church [Music] just continue to breathe in and out in and out and see that you begin to disappear and all there is is the light and the breath is just part of the light let yourself melt into it and now we let the light form into words we pray as the word the christ prayed and taught us to pray our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever [Music] amen [Music] you