Biblically Accurate Crackening Man

Modern depiction of Crackening Man

Ardon (formerly)

Bankole (formerly)Crackening Man

Assyrian Empire (formerly)

Babylonian Empire (formerly)

Egyptian Empire (formerly)

Persian Empire (formerly)

Macedonian Empire (formerly)

Crackening Crew

Architect (formerly)

Blacksmith (formerly)

General (formerly)

Lieutenant (formerly)

Philosopher (formerly)

Playwright (formerly)

Business Man

Norse Mythology

Middle Easter Mythology

Indian Pantheon

Celtic Mythology

English Folklore

The Code of Hammurabi

The Bible

**Crackening Man** is the main mascot of the Crackening Crew Discord server. He is an international business man. He appears multiple times in history influencing some of the greatest minds of the era. He also helped in the discovery of some of the world's greatest inventions.

He changed the way the great minds think many times before. From Alexander the Great to Boris Johnson, he has been influencing the course of world history with his powers granted to him by the mole man blood within him.

## Pre-History

Crackening Man was a descendant of the lineage of Adam and Eve born in East Asia. He had more concentrated mole men genetics giving him powers a normal human would not have. During this time he acted as any human would during this time and hunted and gathered. Unbeknownst to him, he would live for millennia and live through humanities greatest achievements and losses. He would also influence many mythologies from the myth of Heracles from Greece to the story of Thor in Norse mythology.

## Bronze Age

Through centuries of life, he had come to realize the gifts given to him by his supernatural ancestors. Since then he had been travelling throughout the world and has travelled from where he was born in Central Asia to the Isthmus of Suez, where Africa, Asia, and Europe meet. This is also where civilizations such as the Akkadian Empire, Sumerian Empire, Assyrian Empire, and Babylonian empire had risen.

He would work for the greatest empires as an engineer, advisor, and architect and would change many names during this time, so many in fact that he no longer remembers quite a few of them. He had helped King Hammurabi of the Babylonian empire write his Code of Hammurabi tablet, one of the most influential legal texts in history. He also served under the Akkadian king Sargon as a military general and helped him conquer the levant. Crackening Man would also later on help the Mesopotamians author the law on taxes which he would later on regret. He took a 20 year detour to Egypt in 2780BCE and worked as a logistical manager under the great architect Imhotep in constructing the first pyramids.

In 2000BCE, in Mesopotamia, he had helped domesticate the first horses, but he developed a distaste for the horses as he had always felt that there had been an imbalance of something he did not know. Because of his distaste of horses he trekked for 3 years from Mesopotamia to the shores of Brittany in France and boarded a ship to the British isles and brought his knowledge of Copper smelting along with him. After this 30 year expedition to the British isles, he moved back to the fertile crescent where the great empires still resided.

## Iron Age

Residing in the fertile crescent idly for 600 years, in 1380BCE, while living the life as a miner, he had discovered a new type of rock and tried to refine it as one would refine Copper and Tin into Bronze. This would kick off the beginning of the Iron age. During this time frame he would initially be within the Persian Empire as a blacksmith and lifetimes later he would become a military general again under the rule of Cyrus the Great and Darius the First after his father's passing. Under Cyrus, when he underwent the name of Nesar. He would help Cyrus free the enslaved Jewish people from the Babylonians.

Nesar would later return to the Indus Valley under Darius the First when they invaded the Scythians. He retired from the Persian empire and had started heading to the west to Greece in 500BC where had changed his name from Nesar to Peoroidio which was a mixture of the word "Peos", which means Penis and the word "Koroido" which meant sucker. In between 490BCE and 480BCE, the Persian Wars began and "Peoroido" disguised as a Spartan equivalent of a lieutenant and participated in the battle of Thermopylae which he later on subconsciously used his abilities to kill and escape the Persian army. In 465BCE he assassinated Xerxes the Great in a deal with Artabanus in which Crackening Man would get funds from the Persian treasury when he needed.

He eventually settled down after the war and in 390BCE he began his 200 years of study with Plato, Aristotle, Pythagoras, Archimedes and other great minds of the time. When his peers were conceptualizing democracy, mathematical theoretics, and other gifts the Greeks gave us. Peoroidio, or Crackening Man gave us the first joke book which consisted mainly of fart jokes. In In 330BCE he took a break from all that philosophy, democracy, and boring bureaucracy. He served under Alexander the Great and invaded the entirety of the Persian empire until Alexander died of Malaria in 326BCE and he went back to his studies in Athens.

## Blank Period

During 100BCE to 1BCE, Crackening Man was off-records. There are many theories as to what he did during this time but here are some of the most popular theories:

* He meditated in a cave in the northern sahara having his emo episode.
* Travelled to the baltic sea.
* Travelled to China to study confucianism.
* Studied the way of Buddhism in India.
* Trekked the Siberian forests.
* He pissed on the moon.

During the latter part of 1BCE he ended up in Bethlehem with 2 other rich looking chaps and followed a star for the rest of the journey until they arrived in late 1CE.

## 1st Century

While travelling the sands of the middle east with 2 chaps he met along the way to find where the bright star leads, the group sees a group shepherds with their sheep also notice the bright star in the night sky. They follow the star and eventually it leads them to a small town called Bethlehem. They got Bethlehammered in Bethlehem and they thought they had hallucinated but a divine being appears, an Angel, or a Mole man messenger. "Be not afraid.", the Angel said with a booming voice. "I bring good news to you and Humanity." it said, followed with "Your savior is born this very day.". Unaware of the Mole men, Crackening Man, or the name he undertook, Ardon, and his 2 friends were mortified, yet they pushed on. They arrived in Jerusalem after a long and perilous journey through the dry, unforgiving desert. They immediately started searching for the newborn the messenger was speaking of.

While searching for the newborn, they were summoned to speak with King Herod, who at the time was King of the Jews, for he was afraid that this messiah would take his place. They were asked to search for the newborn in Bethlehem and was told to notify King Herod so he as well could worship the child, Ardon knew better. Ardon was part Mole man after all but he never knew about it, but he did know that King Herod was lying out of his mouth. Once night had fallen the 3 fellows went ahead on their journey to search for the child.

When they had located where the prophesized child was, they stepped into the house and saw the young child and his parents. They gave the child gifts fit for a King. Gold, Jewelry, Spices, and all in between. Ardon pondered on giving the child a PlayStation®5 but he had decided the the world was not yet ready for such luxuries. As the night drew to a close, the 2 fellows he was with and the child's family had fell asleep and so would Ardon. Thanks to his Mole man ancestry, he subconsciously used his power of telepathy to warn the 2 fellows and the child's family in a dream to warn them of King Herod and his plan to kill the young child using a dream. They woke up all at once and they followed a Mole man messenger out of Bethlehem and into safety. Eventually they would split off from one another and Ardon would once again be left to his own devices.

He would later return arrive in Rome in 3CE, where he worked as an architect designing things from bridges to great mausoleums. Staying away from politics was now a priority to him. In 14CE, the first Roman empire, Augustus would pass away which would cause Ardon to worry once more so he would flee from Rome and relocate once more, this time to the mountains of what is now Switzerland, here he would stay for 13 years living an uneventful life of what he did before civilization, he hunted, farmed, and survived. In 27CE, while skinning a deer, a pack of wolves had ambushed him and chased him off and greatly wounded him into an odd looking cave. He entered the cave battered and tired, but as we limped his way further into the cave he starts feeling better with every step.

At the farthest end of the cave he sat, and odd looking basin with a hand print in the center was at his feet. He lowered the palm of his hand onto the imprint and he immediately felt a spike impale his palm sending blood gushing into the basin. Unbeknownst to him, he had stumbled upon a Mole man sanctuary. As he stepped foot inside, there was nothing but a podium with an odd white crystal floating above. He went to touch the object but the object would fade into nothing and the ground started to shake, rocks were falling from the ceiling and the walls were cracking. He ran out of the cave as quickly as he could and escaped death. He returned to his makeshift home hungry and exhausted but the night had already fallen and hunting for food would be a danger.

Later that night, as his eyes drifted to a close, his mind drifting away, yet his stomach still empty. Ardon dreamt the lifetime of a distant ancestor, Adam. He would then leave the comfortable solitude of the Alps to once again reunite with civilization as he had seen the memories of a prophecy of a half blooded mole man in Nazareth. Every town that he would get closer to Nazareth, he would hear rumors of great miracles being performed. 2 years after departing from the alps, he arrived in Nazareth in 29CE after getting lost, distracted, and attacked on multiple occasions during the journey.

He meet this man as soon as he arrived as this man had been teaching the people the word of the Lord. Ardon sat down and pretended to be a student, he would later learn that this man was named Jesus and that he had been performing the great miracles that he had heard of. He would then watch silently on the events that would transpire and would indirectly direct Jesus to use the powers he had. In 31CE, Jesus would be betrayed and convicted by the Romans. Ardon watched as he could not do anything, for if he interfered the hundreds of people watching would be aware of his similar power and risk death.

After Jesus had passed away on the cross, Ardon would masquerade as a Roman soldier and sealed him into a tomb for his body would be a dangerous source of power for he had not human blood. He check on the tomb everyday until on the 3rd day, the tomb was opened. He peered inside and not a sign of footprints going in, only out. He would watch over the tomb until Jesus eventually returned to it and Ardon eventually just left Jesus alone knowing that he was being watched over by a much greater force than himself.

After leaving Israel, Crackening Man eventually moved on into Egypt where he would try to find out more of himself and his kind. Egypt was the main location of many of the memories he had witnessed in that one night. Seeking answers to why and how he has lived so long, he would assume the name Bankole, which is the etymological origin of the word bank, for when he was under the alias of Bankole, he would amass great riches which would rival riches of whole empires thanks to the riches left behind by his ancestors in the tombs where the writings of the Mole men were sealed to prevent mankind from ever repeating the same mistakes they did.

Bankole entered the first of many temples he would find 2 years after arriving in Egypt, another cave with the same basin that was in the Alps all those years ago. He laid his palm on the imprint and blood once again fills it. As the basin filled, the floor beneath him lowered into a chamber lit by a white solid orb with solid white walls. A library of the Mole men. Reading through all the scriptures written on slabs which would glow and carvings which would change through gesture. The knowledge of a whole library on a couple dozen slabs. The mole men referred to themselves as Nanren'venatoris Aabzam, or the Navenzam as they would casually refer to themselves as.

After 8 months of reading through the scriptures left by the Navenzam, Bankole would find out about another hidden Navenzam outpost on an island we now call Cyprus. He ventured to this island for 4 months and when he had finally arrived, he was met with the sight of an endless corridor of white with nothing but massive odd, wheel shaped objects hovering over the plain yet intimidating white floor. He would also find rooms filled with the hilts of swords which would reveal a blade of lightning, an oddly ergonomic white rectangle which was unnecessarily mechanical in nature, solid steel barrels filled with a nauseous smelling glowing blue liquid, and incredibly bulky armor which surpasses those of the Roman centurions many hundreds of times over, so much in fact that one could not move within this set of armor which would completely seal you off from the outside world.

Bankole would spend an additional 8 years testing and trying to figure out what all these things are, but in the end, he would not be able to make sense of the wheel shaped objects, the white rectangle, the blue liquid, and the armor. The lightning swords eventually stopped working as well after a couple months but he would not be able to figure out the reason why it stopped working. Even with the knowledge from the library in Egypt, it still seemed that he would need additional knowledge to figure out what was in that underground facility. After 8 years of curiosity, he sealed the facility once more, never to see the light of day again until another one of the Navenzam blood returns.

In 42CE, after giving up on learning the operation of the Navenzam technology left on the island of modern day Cyprus, Bankole returned to the library to search for more facilities left behind by his extraterrestrial ancestors and after another year of searching he had found another facility in the mountains of western China and another to the South east of Rome. He had grown tired of the western world and had decided to travel to the one in China instead. He travelled for 2 years until he reached the facility which was hidden in the mountainous jungles of China and inside was an observation facility with the same blank white walls, but this time, with paintings that moved and shown the world from a bird eye's perspective and an observatory which would be unrivaled by even modern day's telescopes.

Bankole studied these paintings. He also tried to search for the locations which these paintings portray and found that there were only rocks high above the sky. These rocks were to him, just rocks, but these rocks were satellites used by the Navenzam to monitor the planet's health and inhabitants. Bankole would see dials that he could not understand. He researched and watched the world for 19 additional years and in 64CE, he saw the great fire of Rome, he decided that he would put a stop from his study of his ancestry and planned a route which only took him a year to arrive in Rome. Once he arrived in Rome he assumed the role of a common farmer and simply lived normally under many different names.

In 79CE, he caught wind of a rumor about a massive sealed door being discovered on Mount Vesuvius, he ventured onwards to investigate as he believed that this was the facility south east of Rome which he discovered prior in the Library. For 2 weeks he ventured to Mount Vesuvius on horse back and when he finally arrived, behind a recent rockslide, he found a dusty, white door twice his size with another handprint. It was in ruin sure, but enough to keep possible intruders out. He once again laid his palm upon the door, with a gut-wrenching screech it grinded to let him in. He took a few steps inside and he found yet another white crystal. Hesitantly, he moved his hands towards the glowing crystal. When he and the crystal made contact he fell unconscious. He would wake up to tremors and immediately stumbled onto his feet and ran for his horse who was rearing and startled at this point. He then rode back to Rome at galloping pace as behind him was Mount Vesuvius unleashing it's wrath on the people below.

Arriving back in Rome he decided to live a normal lifetime after the crystal had unlocked his full potential. He feared what might happen if he were to use these powers in his own benefit. He had powers which were to him, horrors. He tried to live life as normally as an immortal could for a long time, leading to an uneventful period in his history.

## 2nd Century

Life was uneventful in the 2nd century, He had lead a long life at this point and was ready for death to fare him to the other side, yet death never came. He would be lived life like there would be no tomorrow, as he wanted there to be no tomorrow, yet he couldn't bring himself to take his own life. He believed that he was a danger to the existence of humanity, the powers which the crystal had revealed to him were far too great for anyone to wield. He avoided and ignored these powers living as a normal person would have during the era.

In 102CE he worked as a servant for nobility, serving drinks, preparing venues, their clothes, and other labor one of noble class were not to do, until 154CE where he would "die". He would later on open an Inn in 162CE where he would live out another lifetime first appearing as the young, 27 year old owner of the Inn. He listened to stories of soldiers, carpenters, farmers, masons, blacksmiths, men of all stature. He listened to the sad and joyful stories of men who can only dream to live as long as he has, men who can never comprehend the power he had, yet he found comradery and sympathized with them.

He would see his patrons age and die, as to him it merely felt like insignificant days they were together. The thought of forming bonds with humans turned bitter once more as he outlived the men he would converse and laugh with. He decided to close down the Inn in 211CE and continue to wander, to figure out why he was here, who he was, and what to do with the legacy which had been given to him.