2020 Power Rankings-Week 3

## Introduction

We're heading into week three and I've already hit "Oh shit, I forgot to do the power rankings" level of burnout. But we forge on.

Limbs are snapping. We knew that the 2020 season was going to be wild, but I think we all expected game cancellations and COVID outbreaks. Instead, we have the result of no preseason games and less training. Knees as fragile as Pat's ego. Commish is finally catching breaks, but they are to all his players' legs. Injuries are rampent in the LOC, and it's so bad that a total of six players form last night's Dolphins/Jags game started somewhere in our league. Jaguars...Dolphins...For historians discovering this writeup in 100 years, the Jaguars and Dolphins were two football teams that really, really sucked.

Speaking of sucking, we have two 0-2 teams. Now, if I were momma or Papa I would not panic just yet. From 2012-2019, seven teams started 0-2 and made the playoffs, while eleven 0-2 teams did not. That being said, 0-3 is basically a death sentence. We'll wait until next week for those numbers.

Then there is Sweet Dee and Duck Punchers. 72% of 2-0 teams made the playoffs. These two teams do not face each other until week six, so there is a chance they win enough games to lock up playoffs before even meeting.

## Stat Chat

* Garoppoblow Me logs the fifth-highest point total for a losing team in regular season history (7th highest reg/post combined).
* Papa becomes the first team to reach 80 total losses.
* Papa becomes the first team to reach 70 regular season losses.
* Papa becomes...nah, that's it, I don't have anything else, but imagine if I did? 80 losses. Yeesh.
* Duck is now 6-0 against Stupid Idiots. That moves them into 2nd all-time for most wins against a team without a loss. RIP holds the record with their 8-0 start against Dee from 2013-2017.
* Sweet Dee's 2-game win streak meets or surpasses her longest win streak in 5 of her previous 7 seasons.
* Momma notches a record-breaking 18th week in last place.

## Most Reg Season Wins Against Opponent Without Loss

Papa will have a chance to tie Duck's 6-0 win streak against Butt in week 7.

## Matchup Recap

* Paddock 9 picks up where he left off with a win in the Glory Bowl IX rematch vs. Pain Train (6-10). **Next Matchup:** N/A
* RIPDab blows his load and takes a rare victory over reeling Garoppoblow Me (7-12). **Next Matchup:** N/A
* Sweet Dee wins her third straight against ma ma momma said (5-8). **Next Matchup:** Week 7
* Duck Punchers narrowly beats Butt to stay undefeated against The Stupid Idiots (6-0). **Next Matchup:** N/A
* The Shotti Bunch gets a W on the board in yet another whooping of Papa's Posse (10-3). **Next Matchup:** Week 10

## The 300-Point Club

This week, RIPDab became the first person to score over 300 points since...the last time he scored over 300 points. That was back in week 5 of the 2019 season. He becomes the 5th team to have at least three 300-point games. His 46.48 point margin of victory is the most narrow margin ever for a team that scored over 300 points. Garoppoblow Me now owns the record for largest and smallest margin of defeat against a 300-plus point scorer.

## Highest Point Totals by a Losing Team

All of these teams scored the point totals listed below in losing efforts at some point in their franchise history.

## The Greatest Game - Week Two

Our season long quest to find the best matchup ever continues with the best week two games ever played. Here is this week's nominee:

### 2013: Pain Train vs. Paddock 9

* Final Score: 242.94-236.36
* Why it's Nominated: Pain Train unleashes the lethal Johnson Trio (Calvin, Chris & Andre) in a season-defining slugfest with future arch nemesis Paddock 9 that came down to a league MVP and a kicker.

The matchup started with an exciting real-life NFL matchup between the R\*dskins and the Lions, in which P9's RG3 put up 49.63 points but was countered by Pain Train's Calvin Johnson, who dropped 42.60. Back and forth they went until the 4pms came and Pain Train was left with Peyton Manning, kicker Josh Brown, and a 55.90-point deficit. That was no problem for the soon-to-be 2013 NFL MVP. Manning threw 307 and 2TDs. Josh Brown put the finishing touches on the comeback with a 17-point game. Pain Train would go on to Glory Bowl III and Paddock 9 would miss the playoffs for a third straight year. Had they won this game, they would have finished 6th in the regular season standings.

## All Good Things Come to an End?

It’s early, but first place is first place. Congrats to Duck Punchers for leading the league through two weeks for the first time. This may be the first indicator that Zach will be our 2020 champion. Take a look below:

## Power Rankings

Oh yeah, this part. Feel like I've bombarded the writeup with charts so let's keep this short-winded so I can finish my work and start my weekend. How about for this week's theme we do fortune cookie fortunes for each team? It's themed but also like ten words or less. I used this fortune cookie website where this dude just collects fortunes that people send him and puts them in a list.

### 1(4). Duck Punchers

Your Fortune: A lifetime of happiness awaits you.

### 2(2). Sweet Dee

Your Fortune: Good to begin well. Better to end well.

### 3(1). Pain Train

Your Fortune: No one can walk backwards into the future.

### 4(5). The Stupid Idiots

Your Fortune: You always bring others happiness.

### 5(5). Garoppoblow Me

Your Fortune: The strong person understands how to withstand substantial losses.

### 6(6). RIPDab

Your Fortune: Success is a journey, not a destination.

### 7(9). Paddock 9

Your Fortune: Swimming is easy. Stay floating is hard.

### 8(8). The Shotti Bunch

Your Fortune: It could be better, but it's good enough.

### 9(9). Papa's Posse

Your Fortune: One of the first things you should look for in a problem is its positive side.

### 10(10). ma ma momma said

Your Fortune: A small donation is call for. It's the right thing to do.

## Matchup of the Week

Sweet Dee vs. The Stupid Idiots

This Matchup's Fortune: Winning is losing turned inside out.