227: Cloaca-wocka!

## Summary

The party continue down river in silence for some distance until Batthwack breaks the ice, asking for help picking the lock on the chest he "picked up" in Morrow's Inlet. They locate a nice rest stop on the riverbank and Gwen and Batthwack go into the forest to gather firewood, where Gwen tries to get under Batthwack's skin a little. She asks him about his strange new powers, the crowns that he and Will wear and his desire to return to his clan.

## Synopsis

The group continue to wend their way down the Beartoggle River, Will and Raphina are sharing one lizard, Batthwack (carrying Captain Clockface on his back) and Mo are on another, and Hilula and Gwen are riding separately. Raphina is staring off into the distance and everybody is kind of quiet. Will, uncharacteristically so. He's transformed back into himself. So far, it's been a beautiful day, with the sun streaming down, birds chirping and a nice cool breeze. The day is now moving into the evening. Batthwack has pried all of the floorboards off the chest that he can, so turns his attention to the lock. He asks Mo to catch up with Raphina and Will. He says *"Hey Will! Do you know how to pick locks?"* Will feigns incredulity, wondering why he would think that. Batthwack promises Will everything inside the chest except the diamond, if he can open it.

Gwen, overhearing this from her lizard, pipes up, *"Did you guys say "locks"? I love locks!"* She explains that's why she was researching the symbols on the magical locked book. She says her brother taught her how to pick locks. *"He taught me a lot of cool survival stuff."* Batthwack asks her if she can open the chest. He explains he picked it up in town while they were readying the lizards to leave. Gwen's confused, because that sounds like he just stole it. Will suddenly interjects, *"Gwen wasn't with us when that happened! It was when we first got to the town. There was this store with a chest and this guy that we found out was in league with Crumplemeyer. He was a really bad guy and he had a chest. It was just a whole thing."* It's such an effective lie that although Batthwack is initially confused, he then decides this must have happened on an occasion when Will was away from the rest of them. Gwen thinks about this for a moment and then decides it's probably ok if it was taken from someone who was with Crumplemeyer. She says she's going to need to sit down with it to open it though. Will agrees they should have a break from riding as the day is getting on.

Up until now, the banks of the river have been very cliff-like, but they're moving through an area where they're receding and the landscape is changing into rolling hills. Eventually they spot a nice looking sandy area with a dark forest behind, suitable for a rest. Mo steers his lizard onto the sand, which wiggles down, enjoying the heat. The others all do the same and disembark. Mo flops down into the sand beside the lizards.

Raphina asks who wants dinner. She's been eating sticky bricks for two days and is having a sugar crash. Gwen says she's happy to cook, but she needs at least a pan or something. All her stuff was in her apartment when it was cleared out. Will hands Raphina some fish jerky that he bought in Norton. He asks Raphina and Hilula how far they are from civilisation. Raphina says they're not in a part of Beartoggle that she knows yet. Hilula sarcastically suggests Will go back to Norton. Gwen she doesn't want to eat fish jerky, and says she's going into the forest for some firewood so they can cook something proper. Batthwack offers to help her. Mo says he'll catch some things and dives straight into the river. Will was going to offer to go with Gwen, but when Batthwack said he would, he decides he shouldn't leave Hilula alone with Raphina.

Gwen and Batthwack go off into the forest. It has a very thick canopy and once they get away from the tree line, it's dark. Gwen asks Batthwack what happened with Selenia's body. Batthwack explains how he lost her in the stampeding crowd. Gwen says she thinks it might be better off that way and asks him what was going on with his magic and how Selenia was killed in the first place. Batthwack says he's only been able to cast that spell since they were locked up and Gwen asks if someone gave him this power, because her powers come from Moondreamer. He says he doesn't know, but he doesn't think he has a patron. He says it doesn't feel the same as when he casts his other magic, which was granted to him by his god. He feels like he could cast this spell forever, like it doesn't take any energy at all. He says the first time he cast it was when the guards were chasing them in the *Tomorrow, Today!* office.

Gwen says she's concerned about the fact it obviously wasn't the spell he intended to cast. Batthwack says he doesn't understand what happened and wonders if it was an accident. He says he's going to have be more careful and that he feels quite shaken by the experience. Gwen tells Batthwack that he isn't a bad person because of what happened. She says her brother is a great leader and great fighter, who taught her that casualties are a terrible, unavoidable consequence of war. She suggests that Selenia is one such casualty of their fight against evil. Batthwack says he's struggling with the fact that she was innocent and her death was pointless. Gwen suggests he should focus and move forward because it's not his fault. Batthwack says *"I expect to be held accountable for this. Maybe not now, but eventually."* He explains that this is why the contents of the chest is so important to him because it will be insurance against any more accidents.

Gwen asks him what's going on with the crowns that he and Will have. Batthwack explains the original crown was found in Castle Ravenloft and belonged to King Barov, Strahd's father. He tells her that Will has been carrying it around since then. He goes on to explain that before they arrived in Morrow's Inlet, they were in the forest and he saw a crown on the ground, assuming Will had dropped it there. When he touched the crown, it appeared on his head and now he can't take it off. Gwen asks if he thinks the crown is affecting his magic. Batthwack wonders if it could be a sign or a mark of his power. He shakes his head. *"Maybe it's... Maybe it's also... a curse."* He reminds her that Will has an identical crown, which stuck to his head when he put it on. Gwen is struggling to make sense of this.

Gwen asks Batthwack *"Do you feel a crown gives you some sort of power?"* Batthwack says he feels more confident, like he could move people and change minds. Gwen says she had a crown when she was in her clan and she couldn't do those things. Batthwack is taken aback. Gwen explains she used to be a princess in her clan, and although her father, the king, had the clan's best interests at heart, she didn't agree with the rules and traditions. Batthwack says his clan were not very forgiving. He says maybe he'll go back and convince them that what they did wasn't just. He says he never thought he would go back, but now he feels he must, that maybe things will be different now. He explains that he does agree with their ideals, but that they saw things too simply. *"No one wants to hear that their enemies might not actually be their enemies. Not when you've poured so many lives into a fight."* Gwen says her experience is that people's mindsets are very difficult to change, and that it's a waste of energy to try. Batthwack says he'll make it happen. Gwen says that if he can, then maybe he can help her. She misses her family, but doesn't think they'd take her back. She goes on to say that she isn't sure if she wants to go back anyway, having made her own life outside her clan.

Gwen says she hopes Batthwack finds what he's looking for and isn't disappointed. Having gathered enough firewood, Gwen says they should head back to the others and she can have a look at opening the chest.

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Eric (and KT I think??). Eric joked that Batthwack and Gwen's private rendevous in the forest was PFD's first sex scene. Denise added *"Cloacas everywhere!"* Alex added that when Batthwack emerged he was flexing his chest and Eric confirms it's true and is canon. Abby says *"He was flexing his cannons."* When Alex explains that Gwen asked to see Batthwack's chest, the penny drops. *"Wocka... Wocka... Cloaca..."* says Eric. Pause. *"Cloaca-Cloaca!"* chime in Eric and KT together!

## References

1. ↑ See episode 195: Open Up and Eat the Rainbow!
2. ↑ See episode 226: What CAN'T Will Turn Into? A Pleasant Person? JUST KIDDING!
3. ↑ **Spoilers!** See episode 209: Various Brick Sounds
4. ↑ **Spoilers!** See episode 212: Hubbubbada Bubbada!
5. ↑ See episode 138: Hello Kitty Lockpick Set
6. ↑ **Spoilers!** See episode 187: We Have a Lot To Discover About Raphina's Digestive System