Homer Simpson vs Peter Griffin

Homer vs Peter is the 1st battle by Hipper. Thanks to LeTotalMemer for the TN.

## Description

The Simpsons vs Family Guy, which moronic cartoon father will finally win?

## Intro

Moe: Primetime television is home to many famous comedic characters, like Bugs Bunny, Mickey Mouse, the list goes on.

Joe: But today, we pit two of their most famous cartoon characters against each other.

Moe: Homer Simpson, the father of the Simpsons family.

Joe: And Peter Griffin, the father of the Griffin family. These two may have fought each other before, but they weren't at their fullest potential. Besides, it was a Family Guy episode, so it was rigged for Peter.

Moe: Anyway, it's time to analyze both of these characters and find out who's superior today.

## Homer

Moe: Our first combatant today is Homer Simpson, the loveable TV idiot.

Joe: Yeah, because strangling your own child is SO loveable. Wasn't this the guy who couldn't kill a fly by punching it?

Moe: Yeah, it was, but despite this, Homer has show some very good strength feats.

Joe: Example?

Moe: Well, Homer was able to lift a motorcycle and use it as a weapon. He's also strong enough to strangle people as well. As for speed, Homer can keep up with Olympic athletes and he can even do back flips without effort.

Joe: What the hell? I can't believe I'd see the day where a fat guy is more athletic than me.

Moe: But Homer's strongest point is definitely durability. Homer has survived being electrocuted, hit in the stomach by cannonballs, survived punches from professional boxers and getting hit by a car. He also survived getting his head stuck on a bridge.

Joe: Wow! How is he not dead yet?

Moe: Well, he has this little thing called the Homer Simpson Syndrome, where his skull is a quarter of an inch thicker than the normal human. This, alongside his immense body fat, lets him survive attacks that would normally kill someone.

Joe: Well, that explains a lot.

Moe: However, Homer has plenty of weaknesses. For starters, he's a complete moron. This is because he was fed beer as a kid, which killed his brain cells, and worse, he even got a crayon stuck up his brain, making him even stupider.

Joe: Also, it doesn't help that he is being constantly exposed to nuclear energy.

Moe: Homer is also incredibly lazy, but with this in mind, Homer definitely does have a shot of winning this.

(Homer: Trying is the first step towards failure.)

## Peter

Moe: Next up is Peter Griffin, the not so loveable TV idiot.

Joe: And potential ripoff of Homer Simpson.

Moe: He's not a ripoff. Sure, they're similar, but they clearly have SOME differences. For example, Peter is more of a fighter than Homer is, as shown when he battled a genetically modified chicken 4 times in a row, and won each round.

Joe: Speaking of his fighting, Peter is a strong fighter. He was able to punch a hole through a wall, and he was able to push a car off a cliff and even beat the crap out of Lucy from Peanuts.

Moe: Child Protection Services isn't gonna have that fly.

Joe: Believe me, he's done worse. Peter, like Homer, is incredibly durable as well. He survived being mauled by a mountain lion, took 60 tranquilizer darts and kept going, and even survives all his fights with the chicken.

Moe: There's WAY more feats than that. He survived getting crushed by a piano, survived having his head crushed by logs, and getting beat up by a group of deer with baseball bats. I didn't make that last one up.

Joe: Peter also has the ability to weaponize his farts. His normal farts are able to create gas clouds that can stun people, and with a lighter, he can turn his flatulence into a flamethrower. I guess this is what happens when you're used frequently for fart jokes.

Moe: Wow, this guy is great!

Joe: Well, not quite. Like Homer, Peter is also incredibly stupid, hell, he's even stupider. Peter was diagnosed to be mentally retarded in the episode "Petarded". Also like Homer, he's lazy, ignorant and has a bad sense of judgment.

Moe: But does he stand a chance against Homer Simpson? Lets find out.

(Peter: I got an idea. An idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.)

## Pre-Fight

Moe: We've analyzed both fighters, and it's now it's time to decide a winner.

Joe: Let's get this show on the road, baby.

## Fight

At a random bar, Homer Simpson is seen drinking Duff at a table. Nearby, 4 other people walk in: Peter, Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland. The three are about to sit at the table, when they see Homer there.

Homer: Uh, can I help you?

Peter: Yeah, buddy, get out of our table!

Homer: Your table? Hah! This is my table! Find your own!

Peter: Look pal, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.

Quagmire: Uh, Peter, maybe we should just-

Peter: Shut up Quagmire! Now, where were we?

Peter turns around and sees a punch hit him in the face.

Peter: Agh! OK, you wanna go?

Homer: Yeah, the only place you're going is down!

Peter: Damn it, you stole my insult! Now you're definitely going get it!

The three friends run away as Homer and Peter get into fighting stances.

Homer and Peter run at each other and throw a punch. The two punches collide, causing the two dads to hold their hands in pain. Peter recovers first and punches Homer twice before kicking him backwards, causing Homer to stumble into a chair. Homer sees the chair, grabs it, and swings it at Peter, who ducks under the chair swing and punches Homer in the balls, before uppercutting him, causing Homer to crash into a pool table and destroy it.

Peter: Well, that was easy!

Peter starts to walk away, only for Homer to jump behind him and kick Peter in the back, knocking Peter down. Homer then grabs a pool stick and swings at Peter, who also grabs a pool stick and blocks the stick. The two then engage in a sword fight, swinging at each other like a pirate sword fight. Homer eventually disarms Peter and whacks him in the head, before swinging at his feet, causing Peter to trip and hit the ground.

Homer: Hah! I told you you were going down!

Peter: Don't be so sure, jackass!

Peter jumps back up and tackles Homer, causing them to roll through the door and into a street. The two continue to roll around until they hit a wall. Homer and Peter both get up and trade blows with each other JoJo style. Homer then eventually blocks one of Peter's punches and uses his opening to grab Peter by the neck and strangle him.

Homer: Why you little!

Peter: Ack-ack-ack!

Peter starts slapping Homer in the face, which slightly damages Homer. Peter sees this isn't working, and pokes Homer in the eyes, causing him to lose his grip on Peter and fall back.

Peter: Dude, what the hell, that hurt!

Homer: Hey, don't be such a wussy! I do it to my son all the time!

Peter: You strangle your son? And they call me abusive.

Homer: Heh heh heh. Now where were we?

Homer throws another punch at Peter, who blocks. Peter then grabs Homer's head and knees it three times, before slamming him into a wall. Peter then throws a punch at Homer, who moves out of the way, causing Peter to punch a hole in the wall instead. Peter then turns around and sees Homer driving towards him on a motorcycle.

Peter: Ah crap.

Homer hits Peter with the motorcycle, causing the two of them to crash into a house. Homer grabs his motorcycle and swings it at Peter, who moves out of the way and runs into the kitchen. Homer tries to run after him with the motorcycle, but it wouldn't fit in.

Homer: C'mon, go in already!

While Homer was trying to shove the motorcycle in with him, Peter runs back and kicks Homer in the stomach, causing the motorcycle to fall on Homer and crush him.

Peter: Well, looks like I wi-wait, I'm not falling for that again!

Peter grabs the motorcycle and lifts it off Homer, revealing Homer to be hiding.

Homer: D'oh!

Peter grabs Homer by his legs and throws him into a counter, causing Homer to break it. Homer gets back up and jumps off the counter at Peter with a dropkick, hitting Peter in the face and slamming him into the fridge door. Homer grabs Peter's head and slams his head against the fridge door multiple times, before grabbing Peter and slamming him into the ground. Peter gets back up and trips Homer, causing Homer to fall into the ground. Peter starts running from the floor and starts looking for something to use.

Peter: C'mon, there's gotta be something to use around. Let's see..knife, no, fork, no, cookies...yes.

Peter grabs the cookie jar, opens it and starts eating the cookies. Homer walks over to Peter.

Homer: Hey, can I have some?

Peter: Sure, anything for a pal.

Homer is about to have one, when Peter grabs the cookie jar and smashes it on Homer's head.

Peter: Nyehehehe! Didn't expect that one, did ya?

Homer: No, I didn't. But I bet you didn't expect this!

Homer grabs a knife and stabs Peter in the arm, causing his arm to start bleeding. Peter starts to run around in pain. Homer then kicks Peter into a wall, causing Peter to hit it and fall down on the ground. Homer walks towards Peter with knife in hand.

Homer: Any last words, punk?

Peter looks around him and sees a lighter on the table.

Peter: Perfect!

Homer: Hey, those weren't death worthy last words!

Peter grabs the lighter and farts on the flame, causing a flamethrower to come from Peter's butt and hit Homer, causing Homer to burn alive in pain. Peter grabs a gun from the table and shoots Homer to death, before finishing him off with a knife stab to the head.

Peter wipes his forehead and walks away from the battle scene. We then get a screenshot of Homer's eyes opening.

Homer: Just kidding, I'm dead.

Homer then dies again.

KO!

## Results

Joe: Well, looks like this proves that sometimes the original isn't the best.

Moe: You're right on that. Despite Homer's intelligence and speed advantage, Peter was stronger, faster, more durable and more experienced.

Joe: While Homer could definitely give Peter a hard time, he wouldn't be strong enough to actually kill Peter. The dude has survived multiple explosions, and hell, he even survived a rocket ship crash. There was no way Homer was gonna kill him!

Moe: And plus, Peter's fights with the chicken prove he's a far better fighter than Homer, who rarely if ever fights. And when he does fight, he usually loses, so that should give you a pretty clear idea on who was gonna win.

Moe: I guess you could say, Peter does what Homer Dohn't!

Joe: The winner is Peter Griffin.