80 BEATS GREEZA

So Greeza is doing its thing, wiping out civilisations and voring planets into the void when suddenly.

***HE***

***CAME***

***TO***

***US***

***FROM***

***A***

***STAAA-AAAAAR!***

By the power of Showa nostalgia and shitty writing, 80 shows up and beams Greeza into oblivion, punching and kicking it around mercilessly.

With a mighty headbutt and a pimp-slap, he knocks Greeza on its back as it squels in pain.

Greeza gets up and remembers that's not how it's supposed to fight, so it begins spazzing the fuck out into a twelve dimensional seizure, tearing apart 80's surroundings.

Suddenly Yullian

"Yullian!" 80 screams.

"Eiti!" she cries, allowing herself to be absorbed by Greeza to stop its rampage.

"YAMERO!"

Not even Showa nostalgia could save Yullian this time.

F in the chat.

But wait.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHOWA NOSTALGIA COULDN'T SAVE HER.

BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT, SHOWA ULTRAS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE STRONGER THAN STRONGEST ANF THEY MUST ALWAYS WIN AGAINST THE SNOWFLAKE WEAKLING NEWGEN AND CRINGE HEISEI BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ORIGINALS AND YOU HAVE TO LOVE THEM OR ELSE YOU'RE A ZOOMER

Suddenly writer-kun's superior walks in to observe what he's writing, finding his employee high on Ultraman-brand gummy worms effectively slicing the sheet of paper apart with his pencil, jamming it with fury into the table as he writes le epic faitto scene.

"John Tsuburaya! What the hell are you doing?" he screams at the top of his lungs.

The writer's hand comes to a sudden halt as his neck twists 180 degrees to face his superior.

"John Tsuburaya answer me!" he throttles the writer, "What are you doing?"

With a fiendish cackle, he replies "He... he he.... he.... HE CAME TO US FROM A STAAAA-AAAAR!"

Every hole in John Tsuburaya's body shoots out beams of light as he ascends beyond mortal realm, into his own story.

From within an interdimensional gate John Tsuburaya arrives, merging with 80 and giving his body a golden aura.

As the earrape cover of "HE CAME TO US FROM A STAAA-AAR" booms across the eternity of space, constantly repeating that dreaded line, 80 jams his fist into Greeza's tight binterdimensional hole and pulls out Yullian to rescue her.

"Oh Eiti!"

"Oh Yullian!"

The proceed to make out for the next 2 minutes and 37 seconds.

Suddenly, something else emerges from within Greeza and 80 rushes to pull it out aswell.

HOLY MOLY IT'S YULLIANLOK

"Once you take hold of me, which Showa Ultra will you glorify beyond reason next?"

"MEMEMEMEMEME"

"Amusing"

Using the almighty Yullianlok, 80 cuts apart Greeza as it disappears into nothingness.

Yullian and 80 return to the Land of Light to get married as 80's iconic theme plays on loop.

"John Tsuburaya answer me!" his superior puts his hand to feel John's pulse, he feels nothing.

John Tsuburaya was pronounced dead on January First 2021 on 4:39 AM.

His autopsy showed that he overdosed on Ultraman Vitamin Gummies and suffered from a seizure before his superior's very eyes.

To his final moments, John Tsuburaya sang the praises to his favourite Ultraman.

Rest in Peace John Tsuburaya, he left us for the stars.

Time to add him to the Harambe Heaven meme to farm likes and upvotes