Hotel Sordide

## Bio

**Hotel Sordide** is a run-down derelict hotel located somewhere in England (possibly near Lower Tidmarsh). The staff is ill-tempered, rude and unprofessional and given to thievery. It has a French restaurant, Chez Ben, which seems opulent on the surface, but its staff isn't courteous or professional. The sign of dust at the front desk suggests it is not on the regular thoroughfare.

The hotel is visited by a couple (Jackie Wright and Christine Rodgers) on their honeymoon. On arrival, they find the desk clerk (Benny Hill) not paying attention and instead flirting with one of the maids (Anne Irving). Dust comes from the admissions book; the pen has fallen deep inside the clerk's jacket. The elevator runs wildly, pulling down the attire of an elderly couple (Wally Goodman and unknown). When the honeymooning couple try to use it, they practically have to tear the lazy bell boy (Benny Hill) from his chair to go upstairs. In the elevator's accelerated state, it yanks their clothes up over their heads.

Upstairs, the bell boy shows them to their room, and its lack of a view, casually strolling in without warning to retrieve his newspaper. He later returns with another maid (Rita Webb) to steal their shoes left out in the hall to be shined.

At dinner, the couple meets the restaurant's maitre'd (Benny Hill), who seems professional at first, later talking them out of an budget dish for a more expensive one. Unable to sway them, he resorts to giving them the bare minimum, removing all the fine dining acessories from the table. The waiter (Benny Hill) smokes as he serves them salad (lettuce, no extras) and wine. The fish dinner is so fresh it attracts cats; the husband swapping dishes with his wife over the smell. It doesn't matter anyway because he closes the kitchen promptly on time and takes everything in before they can eat.

The next morning isn't much better. Although the wife gets breakfast in bed, the bell boy and older maid race them through it to clean the room. The bell boy even gets caught in the bathroom with the half-naked wife, and when the husband calls to complain, the hotel clerk's girlfriend sets the phone off the hook to keep fooling around with him. Even the maid gets knocked into the bathtub when the husband tries taking a bath.

That afternoon, the honeymooners barely get out with their clothes and suitcases, wearing worn-out shoes in their escape. In their rush, they neglect to tip the elderly doorman (Benny Hill) who gets snubbed by their departure.

There is another **Hotel Sordide** seen in 1978 that seems to be located in or closer to London. It seems to have a more professional staff except for a French waiter (Benny Hill) with limited English who gets caught in the argument of a couple (Jillianne Foot and Henry McGee) using the hotel for a romantic tryst. When he shows up to deliver breakfast, the woman inadvertently welcomes him to scrub her back, thinking he's her lover still in the bedroom on the other side of the suite. The gentleman similarly caresses the waiter's hand thinking it's his girlfriend. The confusion starts when he calls his girlfriend "honey," and the waiter tries giving him honey, but the confusion continues as the waiter tries matching his words with items from his cart. As the two lovers continue to argue, the waiter tries catching the plates and pastries flying off the table from them hitting it. When the man leaves, the woman learns the waiter knows very little English just as her husband (Charles Stapley) shows up to confront her over her infidelity, thinking the waiter is her lover. The waiter responds to his questions with the little English he knows; his responses creating for a bizarre conversation. When the man returns to find the waiter getting condolences with his lover, he starts beating the waiter up and tearing his uniform. When *his wife* (Eunice Black) shows up to surprise him, he passes his lady love off as the waiter's wife and claims he was stopping him from beating her. Once again, the waiter responds to his questions with the little English he knows; his responses again weaving a very bizarre situation. To hide the affair, the woman pretends to be the waiter's wife as her lover and his wife depart. The waiter even returns her flirting not knowing it was an act, but then *his wife*, Janine (Dee Dee Darlington), shows up, catches him with the female guest and attacks him too before running off crying.

After both women depart, the waiter tries to muster all that's left of his dignity in order to return to work. As he heads down the hall, another female guest (Lee Gibson) stands in the door of her suite trying to get some service. When she does, the waiter douses her with a pot of soup.

## Trivia

* Benny plays five characters in the sketch.
* Wally George's wife in the sketch is unidentified. It might be Lillian Padmore who appeared with him in the December 25, 1969 episode, but this is unconfirmed.
* The restaurant scene in this sketch might have inspired the Costa Patatas sketch from December 26, 1978.
* The 1978 sketch seems to be a reboot of "Victorian Scandals" from February 23, 1977 in that both sketches figure a servant trapped in the argument of his employers.
* Benny's nervous humming when he scrubs Jillianne's back sounds like he's imitating Curly Howard of the Three Stooges.
* In dialogue, McGee's character is named George, and his wife played by Eunice Black is named Angela.

## Episode(s)

* Tommy Tupper in Tupper Time
* The South Blank Show

## Gallery

1/39