Episode 370 - Bonesplash 42

Our Bonesplash battle starts now! Will your heroes become bone dust or will they dig deep into their marrow and crush the competition?! Listen now to find out.

## **Story**

### Long Story

After all this time (seriously, so much time), the battle between Skud and the Champion of The Elemental Plane of Water, Jilling the Bonehammer has begun. Both champions have entered the Battle Arena, pyrotechnics and intro music a-blazin'. Jilling goes first, throwing out two Bone Monsters: A giant shark skeleton (piercing damage), which goes under the water, and a huge bone crab (bludgeoning), which runs at them. Those are the two actions they are allowed to take, so it is now Skud's turn. He sends out Lahni and Toby. Lahni runs toward the shark, and punches at it. Then, Toby turns the crab into a bird, which is automatically recalled into the card. For Jilling's turn, they send back out the crab, and then a T-rex (piercing)! The two creatures move toward our guys. The shark leaps out of the water to bite at Lahni. Ouch. Skud sends out Rowan, and uses his second action to "Pump" Rowan up, which gives her advantage. Lahni punches the shark again, this time attempting to push air into his lungs to inflate him, which works for some reason. The shark "dies" and returns to the card! Toby wants to get in on all this victory, and casts *Finger of Death* on the T-Rex, dealing a fuckton of damage, and "killing" it! Rowan goes after the crab, slamming two arrows into it. The first strikes true, dealing massive damage. The second arrow connects with the crabs outer shell. And bounces off. Oh no. It didn't work, right? Wrong! A crack forms on the shell of the crab, and it splits in two! Then, it returns to the card, defeated. That's three down! Three to go!

Jilling throws out the next card, a Roc coming shrieking out (slashing). The next card is sent out, a giant skeleton dragon turtle (also, slashing)! On a personal note, I need (NEED) to see a ton of fan art for this episode. It so so awesome I think my mind might just explode, because there's only so much awesome I can absorb at once and all this? This is too much for me, dude. Anyway, the Roc flies at Rowan, attacking her, and bringing her down to 2 hp! The Dragon Turtle breaths scalding steam in the direction of Lahni. She's hit, but not only succeeds in her saving throw (receiving half damage), but she's also phasing, so she receives again half damage, so it ain't no big D.

Skud returns Rowan back to her card, so that she can get her 10 hp/turn. Then, he sends out Pyre (slashing damage, and still very dumb). It flies at the Roc and claws at it. On Lahni's turn, she runs at the Roc, since it's closest to Skud, and kickpunches through the wings. Meanwhile, Toby casts *Mass Suggestion* on the Roc, which he then commands to roost for the winter. It immediately flies up to the stands to roost, sending several members of the audience running and screaming. He then runs behind Skud to hide. Now, it's Jilling's turn, and they send out their final card: a gargantuan Bone Kraken (bludgeoning damage)!!!

### Short

The Bone Card game commences. Jilling the Bonehammer sends out a Bone Shark, and a Bone Crab, while Skud sends out Lahni and Toby. Then, Jilling sends out a Bone T-Rex, and Toby sends out Rowan. The group fights, with Lahni defeating the shark, Toby defeating the T-rex, and Rowan defeating the crab. Jilling then sends out a Roc and a Dragon Turtle, while Skud brings back Rowan, who's wounded, and sends out instead Pyre. Finally, after more scuffling, Jilling releases their final card, a Bone Kraken!

## **Trivia**

* The Battle Arena is a cylindrical shape, with a diameter of 120ft. We've already established that the actual battle-y part is a bunch of water with a standing area in the center that is 40ft diameter, and 6 bridges connecting it

## **In This Episode...**

### **Cast and Player Characters**

* Michael DiMauro - *Dungeon Master*
* Tim Lanning - Toby Treacletart / Hoby
* Jennifer Cheek - Rowan Grey
* Mike Bachmann - Skud Derringer
* Nika Howard - Lahnik "Lahni" Caplain

### **Non-Player Characters**

* Jilling the Bonehammer
* Pyre

### **Locations**

* The Elemental Plane of Water
	+ Dreikfelldur
		- Battle Arena

### **Quest Log Updates**

* [On-Hold] - Stop Tiamat!
* [Active] - Destroy The Orb!
	+ [Active] - Find the first missing piece
		- [Active] - Gain access to the Elite Forge
			* [On Hold] - Defeat Lucious Incendous, Master of the Fire Plane
			* [On Hold] - Defeat Fuckin Gary, Master of the Air Plane
			* [On Hold] - Defeat The Man of Sorrow, Master of the Earth Plane
			* [Active] - Defeat Jilling the Bonehammer, Master of the Water Plane
	+ [On-Hold] - Find the third missing piece
		- [On-Hold] - Investigate the final location
* [On-Hold] - Find Adira Harper
* [Backburner] - Find Lannie Caplain
	+ [On-Hold] - Investigate Galanthis
* [Active] - Find a way to pay back the Ferrim Pecunia bank of Pelor's Hope
* [Active][Jaeludra] - Investigate the Great Colosseum in Caer

### **Quotes**

**"I fucked up, Skud!"** ~ *Lahni, who's doing great*

## **Rolls**

* **Recap**
	+ Nika - 11
	+ Jennifer - 4
	+ **Tim - 16**
	+ Bachmann - 2

* **Skud** and **Jilling the Bonehammer** roll *Initiative* to begin the Bone Card Game!
	+ Skud - 11
	+ Jilling - > 11
		- Jilling Wins!

* **Lahni** rolls to *Attack* the shark (Melee x2)
	+ 23, 18
		- Hit, Hit - 32(x2) damage total

* **Toby** casts *Polymorph* on the crab, requiring a Wisdom Saving Throw
	+ 3
		- It fails, and turns into a bird

* The *Shark* bites at Lahni
	+ 27
		- Hit - 22(x2) piercing damage

* **Lahni** rolls to *Attack* the shark (Melee x2)
	+ 15, 25
		- Hit, Hit - 40(x2) damage
			* *Kills it!*

* **Toby** casts *Finger of Death* on the T-rex, requiring a Constitution saving throw
	+ 12
		- It fails, taking 62(x2) damage
			* *Kills it!*

* **Rowan** casts *Hail of Thorns* to make her next attack do more damage, then does two ranged attacks
	+ 27, 27
		- Hit, Hit - 68+38 damage
			* *Kills it!*

* The **Roc** attacks Rowan twice
	+ Nat20, 28
		- Hit, Hit - 45+40 damage

* The **Dragon Turtle** breaths scalding water at Lahni, requiring a Constitution saving throw
	+ 23
		- Succeed, only receiving half-damage (then half again because she's phasing) - 13 damage

* **Pyre** attacks the Roc with his claw attack, then bites him
	+ 15+17, 25
		- Hit, Hit - 15(x2), 23+15

* **Lahni** melee attacks the Roc x4
	+ 30, 23, 27, 29
		- Hit, Hit, Hit, Hit - 78 total damage

* **Toby** casts *Mass Suggestion* on the Roc and the Dragon Turtle, requiring Wisdom Saving Throws
	+ Roc - 17
		- Fails
	+ Turtle Dragon - Nat20
		- Succeed