Ursula

URSULA, spoken]

The only way to get what you want is to become a mermaid yourself.

[Melody, spoken]

Can you do that?

[URSULA, spoken]

My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for. To help unfortunate merfolk, like yourself. Poor souls with no one else to turn to.

(sung)

I admit that, in the past, I've been a nasty

They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch

But you'll find that nowadays

I've mended all my ways

Repented, seen the light, and made a switch

(spoken)

True? Yes.

(sung)

And I fortunately know a little magic

It's a talent that I always have possessed

And here lately, please don't laugh

I use it on behalf of the miserable, lonely, and depressed

Pathetic.

(sung)

Poor unfortunate souls

In pain, in need

This one longing to be thinner

That one wants to get the girl

And do I help them? Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad, so true

They come flocking to my cauldron

Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"

And I help them! Yes, I do

Now, it's happened once or twice

Someone couldn't pay the price

And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals

Yes, I've had the odd complaint

But on the whole, I've been a saint

To those poor unfortunate souls

(spoken)

Now, here's the deal: I will make you a potion that will turn you into a mermaid for three days. Got that? Three days. Now listen, this is important: before the sun sets on the third day, you've got to get ol' merman to fall in love with you, that is, he's got to kiss you; not just any kiss, this kiss of True Love. If he does kiss you before the sun sets on the third day, you'll remain a mermaid permanently! But, if he doesn't, you turn back into a human and... you will die.

[SEBASTIAN, spoken]

No, Melody

[*Flotsam* *and Jetsa**m the eels gag Sebastian, muffli**ng his cries*.]

[URSULA, spoken]

Have we got a deal?

[Melody spoken]

If I become a mermaid, I'll never be with my father or mother again.

[URSULA, spoken]

That's right! But, you'll have, your man. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? Oh! And there is, one...more...thing! We haven't discussed the subject of payment

[ARIEL, spoken]

But I don't have any—

[URSULA, spoken]

I'm not asking much. Just a token, really, a trifle. You'll never even miss it. What I want from you is... your voice

[Melody, spoken]

My voice?

[URSULA, spoken]

You've got it, sweet cakes. No more talking, singing, zip!

[Melody , spoken]

But without my voice, how can I—

[URSULA, spoken]

You'll have your looks! Your pretty face! And don't underestimate the importance of body language, ha!

(sung)

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber

They think a girl who gossips is a bore

Yes, on land it's much preferred

For ladies not to say a word

And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?

Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation

True gentlemen avoid it when they can

But they dote and swoon and fawn

On a lady who's withdrawn

It's she who holds her tongue who gets a man

Come on, you poor unfortunate soul

Go ahead, make your choice!

I'm a very busy woman

And I haven't got all day

It won't cost much

Just your voice!

You poor unfortunate soul

It's sad, but true

If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet

You've got to pay the toll

Take a gulp and take a breath

And go ahead and sign the scroll!

Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys!

The boss is on a roll!

This poor unfortunate soul

Beluga, sevruga

Come winds of the Caspian Sea

Larengix glaucitis

Et max laryngitis

La voce to me

(spoken)

Now, sing.

Melody]

Ah, ah

Ah, ah

Ah, ah

[URSULA, spoken]

Keep singing!

[Melody]

Ah, ah, ah, ah

**Ursula is the mother of Uma and king triton's sister. She is also the Aunt of Attina, Alana, Adella, Aquata, Arista, Andrina and Ariel and the sister-inlaw of the deceased Quenn Athena**