recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Closing

"Closing" is the thirteenth track of The Grand Cyberpunk Gala of Gabriella Gadfly.

## Performers

Psyche Chimere as "Han-Mi"

Jessica Singer as "Mary"

Rhys Owen as "Henry"

Paul Shapera as "Lloyd Allen"

## Lyrics

[HAN-MI:] *(spoken)*

Ah, shit.

...

Okay. Henry and I have worked out a proposal. It is your only option. Take it or leave it.

[MARY:]

There's a town where a cabaret

Plays every Saturday

Let's take a peek what they're up to today

We've things you never seen nor guessed

Here in the very queer wild west

Let's pour a drink and come round for a rest

[MARY:] *(spoken)*

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and welcome back! I see ol' Aubrey's got the saloon back up and running. And look, here comes Sheriff Henry to check up on everything!

[HENRY:] *(spoken)*

Evenin' Miss Mary. Any trouble here abouts?

[MARY:] *(spoken)*

Not 'til the third song, Sheriff. You just sit that pretty little behind down and have a drink. And of course our house band is back, say hello to our teddy bear quintet.

[HENRY:] *(spoken)*

Wait... have they always been...

[MARY:] *(spoken)*

Yes, and don't ask. It gets really complicated.

[HENRY:] *(spoken)*

Okay...

[MARY:] *(spoken)*

So, you want to give me a thorough search here sheriff?

[HENRY:] *(spoken)*

Miss Mary, are you flirting with me?

[MARY:] *(spoken)*

I might be...

[HENRY:] *(spoken)*

Careful, Miss Mary. Don't make me horny. You wouldn't like me when I'm horny.

[MARY:]

And stay in this saloon, those still sane

Unite here each week for a play

Let's all drink a shot of whatever you've got

For Miss Mary's Last Stand With The Band Cabaret

[HAN-MI:] *(spoken)*

And why should I help you?

[LLOYD:] *(spoken)*

Because I can teach you how to use your abilities. Show you what you're capable of.

[HAN-MI:] *(spoken)*

And in return, you want me to take you to the carnival?

[LLOYD:] *(spoken)*

Please.

[HAN-MI:] *(spoken)*

If you're so desperate to get back there, why did you leave in the first place?

[LLOYD:] *(spoken)*

Well if you must know, I went to retrieve his daughter. A little girl he didn't even know he had.

[HAN-MI:] *(spoken)*

And that's when things went wrong?

[LLOYD:] *(spoken)*

There were indeed some unfortunately circumstances and I ended up like this.

[HAN-MI:] *(spoken)*

Did you ever find the girl?

[LLOYD:] *(spoken)*

I did, in fact. A lovely little thing named Son-Mi.

[HAN-MI:] *(spoken)*

Son-Mi? That was my grandmother's name.

[LLOYD:] *(spoken)*

Yes. Yes, it was.
Jan

This page is for the member of the Promethean Lodge. Were you looking for the ghost boy?

**Jan** is a side character in the story from Astonishing Tales of the Highly Improbable detailing the life of William.

## Background

Jan, with William, Percy, and Davish, founded the Promethean Lodge, an esoteric brotherhood of magicians who performed magic by performing theatrical productions. One day, they accidentally displaced themselves into a Narrative that, while similar to their own, was more dangerous, as a vampire queen ruled over it and her vampire subjects hunted humans every night. Though they managed to jump out of this Narrative, the men found themselves in worse and worse Narratives, losing money as they went (having to stay at inns each night), and eventually, they ran out. The men realized they could shoplift something that would be valuable in any Narrative and exchange it for money.

Jan had the idea to lock themselves in a bank vault, where they could take as much as possible and then perform the ritual to jump Narratives again. This plan soon morphed into the quartet breaking into a candlestick shop, but in the process, they were caught by Kola, the clerk of the shop, who joined the group when they escaped. The next Narrative they arrived in had a city that had been demolished in a war between aliens and giant fleas. It was in this Narrative that Jan became gravely ill, and as the others tried to jump Narratives to find one with a doctor for him, his condition worsened, until eventually he died in the home Narrative of the Gnomes.
Arcadia Corp Labs

**"Arcadia Corps Labs"** is the thirteenth track of Nash Harding and the Secret of the Twisted Tower.

## Performers

Paul Shapera as "Voodoopunks" and numerous background vocals

Lauren Osborn as chorus vocals

## Lyrics

[VOODOOPUNKS]:

All aboard, we explore past the edge of realization

Set the course for beyond the borders of illumination

Past the edge of pangnostic limitation

Set the course for beyond the borders of illumination

Past the chains and the reins that restrain us

Set our course for beyond the borders of illumination

Past where tact and discretion might restrain us

Set the course for beyond the borders of illumination

Room 6

(instrumentals)

Room 8

(instrumentals)

Room 11

(instrumentals)

Room 13

mommy

bye bye

hello baby

hello baby

hello baby

bye bye

Room 17

(water noises)

Room 20

(instrumentals)

Room 23:

The collective unconscious compromises in itself the psychic life of our ancestors right back to the earliest beginnings. It is the matrix of all conscious psychic occurrences. It is impossible to explore to explore cosmological levels that are beyond the five senses and beyond your very mind. Metaphysical mapping is a technique that allows people to systematically and collaboratively source ? consciousness and in doing so experience and systematically map the Meta Levels

[Next part difficult to make out]

The ??? consciousness is internalized and are ? subject ? to ? same color, versus sense of time and spatiality geography and (weight?). As (he?) dreams, intelligible realms do not ?? same relationship with time space or geography, [unintelligible?] - space.. (impressions?) are fluid, ... distances between point a and point b [music becomes too loud to hear ranting]

[VOODOOPUNKS]:

All aboard, we explore past the edge of realization

Set the course for beyond the borders of illumination

Past the edge of pangnostic limitation

Set the course for beyond the borders of illumination

Past the chains and the reins that restrain us

Set our course for beyond the borders of illumination

Past where tact and discretion might restrain us

Set the course for beyond the borders of illumination
Han-Mi (Song)

This article is about the song from Miss Helen's Weird West Cabaret. For the character, see Han-Mi.

"Han-Mi" is the seventh track of Miss Helen's Weird West Cabaret.

## Lyrics

[HAN-MI:]

The queen of crime is brooding in her lair

Puffing kiseru and plotting her dark ways

They think she wants to scowl

And watch the world burn down

But she just wants to watch him save the day

I like the role of queen of vice and crimelord

The villain's always the most fun to play

I wish I was like them

And with my role content

And never pursued past this parlous way

Did the dragon lady take your breath away today?

Han-Mi see, she runs a den of gambling

Sells opium and knows kung fu, wears jade

She speaks in proverbs then

Commands lurking Chinamen

In broken English so the scripts all say

I thought that if I just talk with the writer

The racist implications, I'd explain

Just to help, you know

Make a better show

A more engaging, mindful cabaret

Did the dragon lady make you gasp today?

So I thought after curtain call, I'd speak to someone

But when my time as Han-Mi ends and fades

I blank out, just dissolve

I'm not aware at all

Until the next time I am on the stage

I can't recall what happens after curtain

Between shows I cannot account for days

Who am I post play

After you stop the cabaret?

When did my mind splinter in this way?

Did the dragon lady make you cry today?

How do I make it stop?

Just make it halt

I think my mind's not well

Is this all my fault?

If I stop it all

Will it fade away?

Will I just wake up

To another cabaret?

How do I make it end

Can anybody help?

Can't you hear my cries

Can't you see that I'm not well?

None of you respond

Do you even know?

You think that this is just

Another part of this damn show

Just sit there and stare

Watch me scream and squawk

As this never ends

As this never stop

You just sit and stare

At me alone and scared

Why does it not stop

Why am I still here?

There's only Han-Mi when the curtain rises

The actress who is lost within the play

The performance comes and goes

No one ever stops the show

Is the other me aware I'm here on stage?

If you see me walking on a Wednesday

Please don't let me get back on this stage

Find out who I am

Do I understand

The other me is lost within the play?

If you can stop the show, today's the day

Does anybody hear a thing I say?

The girl who's caught within the cabaret

The dragon lady's live on stage today
Kevin

**Kevin** is a talking mouse who is a citizen of New Albion in the Atompunk Era. He is a main character in Kevin & Abi and the Secret of the Golden Pendant and is mentioned in the song "New Albion 9" as part of The New Albion Guide to Analogue Consciousness. He is also the grandson of Sam The Mouse.

Kevin lives inside mechanical humanoid robot, and his job is to drive a taxi cab around New Albion. The Mascot 3000 (narrator of the NAGtAC) says that Kevin enjoys making bad jokes, and serves as a local authority for the New Albion police for crimes "too tough to solve".

During the events of Kevin & Abi and the Secret of the Golden Pendant, he works with Abi to solve a crime brought to their attention by Ryvyr D Goblin, involving a set of murders which spans over the course of three generations, literally travelling back in time to each crime scene.

## Trivia

* It has been confirmed that Kevin is a descendant of Sam the Mouse from the Steampunk Era of New Albion. His father is Deacon, who is featured in the story *The Fae Beneath New Albion*, and he later has a son named Nicholas (mentioned in the song New Albion 11 in The Forgotten Meme album). Considering he's the only known genius mouse of his technological era and all genius mice are direct descendants of Sam, it is safe to assume that he's Sam's grandson.
Going

"Going" is the third track of the third act of The New Albion Radio Hour, and the eighteenth track of the album overall.

## Performers

Paul Shapera as "Lloyd Allen" and "Thomas"

Courtney Ellis as "Jacqueline O'Brien"

## Lyrics

[SOLDIER:] (spoken)

Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Can anybody hear me? If you're there, run! Run!

[JACKIE:]

It’s time to go and see what’s happening up there

[THOMAS:]

Jacqueline, what about me?

[LLOYD:] (spoken)

And so Jacqueline hands Thomas over to the Voodoopunks to be executed--

[JACKIE:] (spoken)

What? No! No…. are you insane? I’m doing no such thing.

[LLOYD:] (spoken)

Jackie, it’s the story. You have to.

[JACKIE:] (spoken)

I don’t have to do anything, Lloyd. For heaven’s sake, he’s barely old enough to drink. He’s misguided, but he doesn’t deserve to die.

[LLOYD:] (spoken)

Well there’s a new sentiment…

[JACKIE:] (spoken)

We've used him enough.

[THOMAS:] (spoken)

Used me for what?

[LLOYD:] (spoken)

Jackie--

[JACKIE:] (spoken)

Lloyd, this isn’t up for discussion. Thomas, you’re coming to the surface with me. The war should have been over by now. The soldiers should be incapacitated, but… something’s gone wrong.

[THOMAS:] (spoken)

Jacqueline, what did you do?

[JACKIE:] (spoken)

I think something very bad.

[LLOYD:] (spoken)

And so… and so, as Jacqueline and Thomas head to the surface, we go several hours into the past, where a legion of soldiers have assembled at Crier’s Boulevard, beneath where, a rampaging John O’Brien has inexplicably turned against the other government soldiers.
Bio0 矮人

"Bio0 矮人" is the first track of The Broken Cyborg. The title translates to "the dwarves."

## Lyrics

[DWARF CHORUS:]

Hey wa no

Down here burning while the wheel is always turning and a

Hey wa no

Down here turning while the worlds always burning and a

Hey wa no

[NEWSCASTER:] *(spoken)*

... when informed of the news of the loss of Mars shuttle. Despite successful attempts to launch other manned flights into space, the Mars shuttle disaster is a massive setback for the Sohanguk space program, long considered the most advanced in the world.

Attacks have begun by the city state of Cascadia against the fairy city of Avalon, mere days after Cascadia declared war on the controversial city. We have a special report coming up in just a few minutes.

In more disturbing news, a new study shows anti-fairy violence is steeply on the rise across the continent, despite fewer and fewer public appearances by the troubled species. Experts warn that even New Albion, a long time oasis of tolerance, is now increasingly hostile and the few Fae residents remaining are urged to take extra precautions.
Mother's House

"Mother's House" is the second track of the third act of Slenderman, and the nineteenth track of the album overall.

## Performers

Jeff Simms as Redneck Greek Chorus

Rachel Hughes as Mother

## Lyrics

[REDNECK GREEK CHORUS:]

After all the lonesome miles

You have fled in desperate bounds

Just like she swore, you will come

Crawling back once more

Welcome home to Mother’s house

Scraps of meat lay in the hallway

The beast you hunted hunts you now

Who shall be prey today?

And other lovely games we’ll play

Welcome home to Mother’s house

It’s a maze of meat and shadows

Where things that smile and crawl hang out

Though long ago you left

We’re oh so glad you’re back again

It’s the mind of something monstrous

You were an idea that got out

We hope you had your day

We trust you’ve come back now to stay

Welcome home to Mother’s house

[MOTHER:]

After all the lonesome miles

You have fled in desperate bounds

Just like I swore, you have come

Crawling back once more

Welcome home to Mother’s house
Oliver Marsh

Website / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram

**Oliver Marsh** is a singer and rock god. He was one of the performers at The New Albion Cabaret.

## Characters

* The New Albion Radio Hour as John O'Brien
* The New Albion Guide to Analogue Consciousness as Connor
* The Lost Fairy as Jakob and Jesse
* A Slenderman Musical as Samuel
* Kevin & Abi and the Secret of the Golden Pendant as Kevin and The Marsh Men
* Ovalhouse stage production of The Dolls of New Albion as Edgar, Byron and Soldier 7285
Sarah McKiggan (Mother)

Art by Chto

**Sarah McKiggan** is a Posthuman appearing in The Posthuman War who joins the story during act three and serves as the antagonist during acts four, five, and six. She later appears as **Mother** during A Slenderman Musical, and is mentioned by Raven during The Path From (Lost Hollow to New Albion). She is portrayed by Lux Mortenson as Sarah, and Rachel Hughes as Mother.
Performance Review

"Performance Review" is the eighth track of The Grand Cyberpunk Gala of Gabriella Gadfly.

After Mary tells Helen *"you were the sacrificial lamb"* the tune "Mary Had A Little Lamb" can be heard playing in the background.

## Lyrics

[MARY:] *(spoken)*

We learned a great deal from the Gabriella Gadfly debacle

Although in the end, poor Helen lost her mind

We learned we needed ever-changing stories

And you needed personas with which you could identify

But the romantic spark between you and Han-Mi

Had to be squashed, so we configured Hank

To embody her subconscious, psychological desire for a father

And he also released a pheromone that reacted with her brain

It affected her like a drug, much like an opioid

But you, Helen, were broken, stark raving mad

We wiped your mind, tried to reset you

But it was clear, even then, you were the sacrificial lamb

Our war is like a chess match where you can't see your opponent

Pieces move while you're not looking 'til your options are spent

We'd never make a plan our future selves could not guess so

We went ahead and brought onboard... a consultant
Bio9 仙子之歌

"Bio9 仙子之歌" is the tenth track of The Broken Cyborg. The title translates to "song of the faeries."

## Lyrics

[HAN-MI:] *(spoken)*

Some time later, the wandering refugees came within sight of the fairy city of Victoria.

[FAERIE CHORUS:]

Far, far in the past, a god mournful and sad

Came to this world from a far place, alas

so hard he tried to find his fallen bride

But he knew not where in history she lies

He searched far and wide but hadn't much time

For if he stayed too long, he’d break and he’d die

He’d shatter and roll like ice in the cold

he’d dissolve back into millions of souls

Far, far in the past, a creature was sad

Her mate, he was dead and the sweet unborn lass

Was certain to die, and so there she cried

'til this wandering god there passed on by

In mercy, he gave some of his flame

And mother and sweet unborn baby he saved

This baby now had the magic he’d passed

And faeries and humans split in separate paths

Our prophets have warned that when that wheel turns

Drought into Faerieland comes and it burns

The humans will rise, with dark in their eyes

Upon our race, they will wish us to die

But they say there's a tribe, with which we align

And it is with them that our future will lie

And here you arrive, come stay for a time

let us see what kind of fate hereby lies
Cora

## Cora, the Cigarette Girl

art by PixelWayve

Cora, The Cigarette Girl, is a character in the Dieselpunk Era of New Albion. She is briefly mentioned in The New Albion Radio Hour, and makes a full appearance in Katy Shaw and the Search for the Stolen Secret. She is voiced by Hayley Warner.

## Biography

Cora works at The Rhumba Club most nights, posing as a simple Cigarette Girl. She and the Rhumba Club management take great steps to maintain the appearance that she works for them, instead of the other way around.

In reality, she runs the New Albion independent spy network. The union provides spies with a bit more assurance that their removal from play would be moderately painless. Cora loves her job, and doesn't think she could function in a normal society.

## Relationships and Connections

As the head of the spy network, information is Cora's currency. Nobody in the city is as well-connected as she is, and Cora is familiar with many of the major players of the time.

Cora had a crush on Jacqueline O'Brien, as she had a main preference for "hot leopardesses". After being turned down by Jackie, Cora turned her into an informant by providing information on the location of Dorothy.

Cora is on friendly terms with Constance O'Brien, and the Cigarette Girl was surprised with how well the party girl had adapted to a life of thievery. Cora does think Constance is a bit clueless though, as Constance was completely unaware with the importance of her Aunt Jackie, and was equally clueless that there was something off about her boyfriend Thomas.

She had business dealings with The Red Haired Lad, as he was working on discovering the source of the Sandy Drug, and she wanted in on that venture. She brokered a deal between the Red Haired Gang and the albino tribe, and helped merged the two groups together with the marriage of The Red Haired Lad to the Albino Princess.

Sheila worked for Cora, and Katy Shaw went to Cora for help after Sheila was taken by the police. After Katy procured information to help with the merger of the Red Haired Gang and the Albinos, Cora told Katy how to find Mark, who knew that the government was rounding up druggies in an attempt to retrieve a folder containing sensative plans.

On his podcast, Lloyd mentions how oddly well connected Cora is. Lloyd goes to Cora at the Rhumba Club and she connects him with Jackie and a government official.

## Trivia

* Her cigarette case has three layers, with the top layer holding basic cigarettes and the middle layer holding cigarettes with additives mixed in with the tobacco. The third layer was hidden and requires a delicate finger movement to open, and holds documents and papers for her union business.
PixelWayve's Tar Pits

art by PixelWayve

PixelWayve's Tar Pits is a business that sponsored Episode 18 of Astonishing Tales of the Highly Improbable.

The owner, PixelWayve, is also a witch whose wife, Alyssa Wiswall, is trapped in the tar pits in the form of a screeching abyss demon.

## Lloyd's Advertisement

During the intro of William part 5, Lloyd Allen gave the following sponsored ad:

*"Today's sweet and benevolent episode is brought to you by PixelWayve's Tar Pits! Yes, tar pits go quite unappreciated. They're immensely useful! you can spread the tar and make nice asphalt roads, you can safely and securely dispose of dead bodies, you can plug holes to the underworld.*

*In fact, word is that PixelWayve had a wife named Alyssa, who was a competent witch. No one knows why Alyssa attempted to open a hell mouth, although I can think of several good reasons off the top of my head. Maybe she was attempting some interdimensional travel and bungled it. It's quite easy to bungle.*

*But however it happened, Alyssa opened up a hellmouth and out came terrifying horrors. Well no, that's not how the tar pit happened. Alyssa's next problem is that she still had some remnants of a conscience. And so she decided she needed to keep the monsters from destroying the city, although why I can't possibly fathom. So she tried fighting them but they were too powerful. So she came up with the idea of turning herself into a creature powerful enough to take on these hell monsters. There's a good story in there, I must remember to use this sometime.*

*Anyway she turned herself into a black abyss demon and destroyed the invading monsters. Now however, Alyssa herself was a problem since being a screeching abyss demon, she was without reason just a wild screaming creature of darkness and hopelessness. If that isn't a mood I don't know what is. So, as the story goes, a number of the city's magic community got together to destroy poor Alyssa.*

*But PixelWayve couldn't bear to have her lover killed so she cast a spell which trapped her lover in a huge tar pit, or froze her into a tar pit, something like that. But the tar pit sealed the hole and kept Alyssa at bay, until PixelWayve can figure out a spell to reverse it. They say she works tirelessly, even to this day to create a new spell. Sounds like a job for an old friend of mine. Jill would be excellent at this. Too bad she's ah - oh well.*

*Who even knows if this even has any truth to it. But just imagining that this city is close to being destroyed by a terrifying abyss monster, well it just fills me with happiness and hope so we should take comfort in whatever fairy tales we can. So, stop down at PixelWayve's tar pits if you can. Say hi to PixelWayve, the haggard sleepless shell of a woman, and her slumbering demonic lover. I've certainly heard worse stories. Tell them Lloyd sent you!"*

## Trivia

* Lloyd used the story of Alyssa transforming herself into a demon to defeat an oncoming horde of hellmouth monsters as inspiration for the cabaret backstory of Henry the Alchemist.
Brija (Song)

"Brija" is the first track of the second act of Janissary, and the sixth track of the album overall.

## Lyrics

[BRIJA:]

So Bogdan has now found the Hajduk home

We leave him there now and to elsewhere go

Along the far lands and the mountains wide

To find what became of the stolen child

Little girl lost and so far gone

Little girl come sing a faraway song

Through the hills and winding roads that roam so long

Little girl lost all dressed in red

In a line of girls, the miles you'll tread

To a far off, foreign land you'll all be led

Cry, Mama, cry

Cry, Mama, cry

No, I won't

Your lost girl wants you here with her tonight

Little girl lost to the barracks arrives

In a row of cots you will sleep tonight

You'll live your life here, tucked away inside

And day by day you’ll all be trained

Told to what gods you will pray

A Jannisary harem you will be one day

Cry, Mama, cry

Cry, Mama, cry

No, I won't

Come back home

In this life

Halls of stone where no voice sounds

Silent caves on hallowed grounds

Years of lonely, echoes deep

With keepers black who don't speak

And I, Mama, I

I cry, Mama, cry

Your lost girl wants you here with me tonight

The icons that the girl once knew

She lays at night and whispers to

Imaginary friends she thinks are true

She sees them smile and hears them speak

They talk to her and teach her things

They sit at night beside her while she weeps
Just Because You Become Woke in a Dank and Poorly Lit Place is No Reason Not to Say Good Morning

"Just Because You Become Woke in a Dank and Poorly Lit Place is No Reason Not to Say Good Morning" is the third track of The Forgotten Meme.

## Performers

Kerttu Aarnipuu as "Meme"

Psyche Chimere as "Han-Mi"

## Lyrics

[MEME:]

Good morning, my dark twilight sweethearts

That crawl on the walls of your cave

Good morning, things sweet that weep in the deep

And wake to a dim, sunless day

Good morning, writhing ballet

[HAN-MI:] *(spoken)*

It was here, in the dark room with small dots of light and strange crawling things, that the little forgotten meme found herself. She gained consciousness in a tiny little scrap of what had once been a great, metallic spider; alone, unloved, and discarded.

[MEME:]

Good morning, my dark twilight sweethearts

That grow never knowing the day

The small things obscene that glow and that dream

Who lost in the shadowlands ache

Good morning, crawling parade

[HAN-MI:] *(spoken)*

Movement was difficult and it took her days to find other scraps of small, disregard pieces of junk, which she attached to herself bit by bit until finally she had built herself a hideous and deformed little insect-like body, but one with which she could crawl around competently.

[MEME:]

Good morning, my dark twilight sweethearts

That crawl on the walls of your cave

Good morning, things sweet that weep in the deep

And wake to a dim, sunless day

Good morning, writhing ballet

[HAN-MI:] *(spoken)*

While the other strange, non-organic creatures here were content to remain in the great underworld and slowly evolve hives and odd, unimaginable bio-systems, the little forgotten meme wanted something inconceivable to the others: love. So one dark, black day, she started her long, slow journey out of the room and up through the labyrinth of tunnels, until she eventually reached the bustling city above.
New Albion 3

"New Albion 3" is the first track of the third act of The Dolls of New Albion, and the twelfth track of the album overall.

## Lyrics

[VOODOOPUNKS:]

Ya ko, hoo-o-la-oh
A-hee-lay-oh-la-hey

[NARRATOR:]

And so the years they fly, a generation goes on by
And new faces, new places of New Albion arrive
The doll that Edgar brought back for Fay, well sure enough
He’s Jasper, the same one that Annabel herself called up

Edgar and Fay had a son, a young man who’s named Byron
And he’s inherited the Doll, his dear Jasper that he loves
After years and years of folks bringing back their dead ones,
Droves of Dolls fill the city in streets, slums, and homes

Yes, there’s slums just full of dead, they don’t walk or talk, instead
They’re like blank slates on which their friends and relatives project
The big subculture in these times is Voodoopunk and every night
Byron and Amelia are immersed and acolytes

The red haired dwarf’s son ran the mob for years and years but then
He was run out by two women and a brilliant mouse named Sam
The Voodoopunks, to mock the world, for city mayor run a Doll
They show up at the rallies and attempt to rile the crowd
Abi

### Relatives

Augustus Akers (great-great grandfather)Mr. Millhouse Seth (biological great-grandfather)

Alphonse Akers (great-grandfather)

Agatha Akers (grandmother)

Agnes (mother)

## Album Information

### Album Introduced

Kevin & Abi and the Secret of the Golden Pendant

## Portrayal

### Voiced By

Kiera-Marie Somers

Abi or Abigail is a witch, who is a citizen of New Albion during the Atompunk Era. She is one of the main characters of Kevin & Abi and the Secret of the Golden Pendant.

Abi is the granddaughter of Agatha, a character mentioned in Lost Fables From New Albion. In the album, she is Kevin's detective partner. While he handles much of the sleuthing and interviewing, Abi employs a range of spells which help with tasks such as interviewing suspects and making sure that they do not escape. Over the course of the album, Abi shows a want for a catchphrase and develops her catchphrase, "Spell from Hell time!", although she originally considered quite awful ideas for catchphrases such as "Jinkies" which is not even her own and "I gotta hex for your necks... pecks? rex? tex?."

She has shown the ability to silence people and turn them into frogs. She has called Kevin a little shit and the Osborn and Warner women bitches. Neither of these statements are necessarily incorrect
Lauren Osborn

Lauren Osborn Official Website / Instagram

**Lauren Osborn** (Lauren Jennings) is a singer featured on multiple albums. She organized and was one of the performers at The New Albion Cabaret and the The Posthuman Cabaret.

## Appearances and Characters

* The Dolls of New Albion as Annabel McAlistair, Fay, Amelia and Priscilla McAlistair
* The New Albion Radio Hour as Constance O'Brien
* The New Albion Guide to Analogue Consciousness as Rachael and Adrian
* The Room Beneath New Albion as Alice
* A Slenderman Musical as Zoe
* Miss Helen's Weird West Cabaret as Miss Helen
* Uncle Raven's Super Happy Fun Time Carnival as Miss Helen and The Floozies
* The Grand Cyberpunk Gala of Gabriella Gadfly as Miss Helen
* Uncle Raven's Storytime Theatre: Never Never Land as The Floozies
* Lullabies
* Janissary as Brija
* The Broken Cyborg as Lilith
* The Lost Fairy as Symbel
* Katy Shaw and the Search for the Stolen Secret as Constance O'Brien
* Nash Harding and the Secret of the Twisted Tower chorus vocals
* A Covid Christmas
* Kevin & Abi and the Secret of the Golden Pendant as the Osborn Women
* Helen's Hell Hags as The Floozy
* Han Mi's Storytime Theatre: How To Talk To A Cute Girl Without Being A Creep as The Floozy
* The Posthuman War Act 4: Red River as April

## Queen of Death

A popular theory has crowned Lauren as “The Queen of Death,” due to her appearance in every album except The Forgotten Meme, the only story to date that does not feature a character’s death. This has lead to speculation that Paul did not intend to write any tragedy, but he was forced to kill off his own characters after Evil Lauren demanded a sacrifice every time she sings on an album.  In *The Posthuman War,* she appeared in the fourth act, in which the first named character dies.

Paul has encouraged this theory, mentioning it in blog posts, instagram posts, and on twitter. One tweet from the steampunkopera twitter account, written from Raven's perspective, reads:

*"I dont know who this “Paul Shapera” is, but i’ve been reading up on all the terrible things that evil Lauren Osborn makes that poor, wretched bastard do. It’s atrocious! Such a weight to have ob his innocent shoulders. The poor man. #freepaul"* (tweet).

   Lauren has also embraced the theory, using the #queenofdeath hashtag on her instagram account in several stories, signing autographs with using the deathly title, and proudly wearing a Queen of Death shirt.
Paul Shapera

Paul performing in The Posthuman Cabaret, photo by Nora Bellamy

**Paul Shapera** is the ultimate post-human, in complete control of the narratives of everyone, even the angels of Elysium. Even Han-Mi changing the narrative is only at Paul's whim.

He is the writer, producer, composer and creator of all things New Albion. We bow down to him.

He was one of the performers at The New Albion Cabaret, the The Posthuman Cabaret, and is the host of The Paul Shapera Cocktail Hour. He is also the author of two books: Lost Fables From New Albion and The Posthuman Playhouse. His fursona is a jaguar.

## Characters and Appearances

* The Dolls of New Albion as Jasper
* Fairy Tales for the Lost and Wandering
* The New Albion Radio Hour as Lloyd Allen, Thomas, Government Agent, Blood Red Dogs Leader
* Fairy Tales for Homeless Faeries
* The New Albion Guide to Analogue Consciousness as Lee
* The Room Beneath New Albion as Alexander
* A Slenderman Musical as Timothy
* Miss Helen's Weird West Cabaret as Hank
* Uncle Raven's Super Happy Fun Time Carnival as Raven and Hank
* The Grand Cyberpunk Gala of Gabriella Gadfly as Nathan Brindesi and Lloyd Allen
* Uncle Raven's Storytime Theatre: Never Never Land as Raven
* The Forgotten Meme as Raven
* Janissary as Bogdan and The Vizier
* The Broken Cyborg as Xander, Basheq Latef and Lloyd Allen
* The Lost Fairy as Raven and Lloyd Allen
* Katy Shaw and the Search for the Stolen Secret as Mark and Michael
* Nash Harding and the Secret of the Twisted Tower as Nash Harding and Michael
* A Covid Christmas
* Kevin & Abi and the Secret of the Golden Pendant as Michael and Lee
* Astonishing Tales of the Highly Improbable as Lloyd Allen, the main story narration, and the singer of each cover song at the end
* Helen's Hell Hags as various unnamed male characters
* Han Mi's Storytime Theatre: How To Talk To A Cute Girl Without Being A Creep as Raven
* Kevin & Abi And The Secret Of The Stolen Sun as Zippy, Geoff, and Pixel
* The Posthuman War as Raven and Lloyd (and various other characters)
Anxiety

"Anxiety" is the second track of Shadows & Flames

## Lyrics

[DAVID:] (spoken)

Sometimes, at night, I walk the streets, and standing in the center of intersections, another headache slams over me. I shut my eyes to rest for the briefest moment, but when I awake, I'm in the gray stone tunnels, writhing underground labyrinths beneath a deep, towering castle. Shadowed figures race desperately by, ants carrying steel and iron wheels to perpetuate their receding, descending, concrete anthill, clicking unintelligent signals at one another in passing.

[DAVID:]

The streets wind in a tunneled maze

The stagnant skyline wrinkles and slowly fades

The towered buildings are blurred in haze

Replaced by tunnels, a burrowing concrete maze
I walk through passages of shadowed halls

Bathed in the glow of the flickering neon walls

In endless echoes, I hear radio voice
I am lost in an anthill of static noise

[DAVID & CHORUS:]

I walk through labyrinths, the concrete maze
Little ants screech by in a streaking blaze

Blinking signals of siren screams

Snapshots, static, snapshots splashing red

Snapshots of skies where colors smear and spread

Snapshots of bodies in arching sweeps of flight

The Terryans fly, fly in warm August skies

[DAVID:]

Tunnels hum with electric hiss

The scent of mucus smells and stains the air

[

[DAVID & CHORUS:]

The tunnels bend and are closing in

Snapshots, static, snapshots splashing red

Snapshots of skies where colors smear and spread

Snapshots, static, snapshots splashing red

Snapshots of skies where colors smear and spread

Snapshots of bodies in arching sweeps of flight

The Terryans fly, fly in warm August skies
The Day They Come

"The Day They Come" is the fifth track of the fourth act of The Dolls of New Albion, and the twenty-third track of the album overall.

## Performers

Kayleigh McKnight as "The Narrator"

Lauren Osborn as "Priscilla McAlistair"

Paul Shapera as "Jasper"

Jason Broderick as "Soldier 7285"

## Lyrics

[NARRATOR:]

Circles never stop themselves
Nothing that you’ve ever held
Were you promised or reneged
And sometimes when you lose, you win

Circles never stop themselves
Nothing that you’ve ever held
Were you promised or reneged
And sometimes when you lose, you win

[JASPER:]

Prisiclla, what’d you do?
When they come for me
You know they’ll also kill you too
You’re young, your song unsung
There’s still so much still for you to do

[PRISCILLA:]

All these years you’re here
You suffer quietly, it’s barbarous to think that’s fair
There’s no one who thinks of you
The game is gonna end right here
I’d help you to die if I could, but…

[JASPER:]

Priscilla, what’d you do?
Now they’ll come and you must
Run or else they’ll kill you too

Your life so I can die
Is wrong and you must know that’s true

Ghosts of life, ghosts of lives
I’ve watched fall and pass me by
Ghosts of all the selfish, vain
All the blindness, all the pain
All the fools and petty games
All the sadness, all the same

[PRISCILLA:]

I’d help you to die if I could, love
Some sacrifice anyway
Some sacrifice it all away

[SOLDIER 7285:]

And on the day we come it’s over
And you will have your fate laid out and spun
It’s execution
And you may pray if you get comfort
It’s on this day your duty’s done
And on this day you’ve been caught guilty
The sentence, citizen, is death
It will be carried out this instant
Say any prayers that you want said

[JASPER:]

One day you will learn
And you will burn like my heart burns
One day you will learn
And you will burn like my heart burns
Ghosts of all the selfish, vain
All the blindness, all the pain
All the fools and petty games
All the sadness, all the same

[PRISCILLA:]

Some speak about love
In a sweet way
Some sentiment of
Bliss and dream states
Some speak about love
In a kind way
some sentiment of
Rapturous states

And some sacrifice
Some sacrifice
Some sacrifice
Some sacrifice

[JASPER:]

Please, my angel, my angel
Please my angel, my angel
Please, my angel, my angel
Please my angel, my angel

[SOLDIER 7285:]

I am the arm of execution
I am the trigger of your gun
I am the binding and the order
It’s on this day your duty’s done

[PRISCILLA:]

Please go back to
Berths of black
To silent shores
from me once more
through veils and gates
and seas of slate
and blood red mores
Where I’ll see you once more

Circles never stop themselves
Nothing that you’ve ever held
Were you promised or reneged
And sometimes when you lose, you win
Ark 1

"Ark 1" is the seventh track of the second act of The New Albion Guide to Analogue Consciousness, and the thirteenth track of the album overall.

## Lyrics

[VOODOOPUNK:] (spoken)

Homebase to Ark 1. This is Homebase to Ark 1. Please report on transmigration. Over.

(screams)

[CONNOR:]

And on the day we come it’s over

I have a warrant here to shut this down

All these machines will be dismantled

And where that cult’s gone, they can stay there now

It’s so long that I await

This deep breath and this fair day

For at last they’ve gone away

And at last my son is safe

Now tonight then we will sit

We can talk and bond again

By my side he can be

Love returns at last to me

As your time spins and sets

You can save what you love yet

No more fear haunting me

I can finally sleep in peace

[CONNOR:] (spoken)

Lee, I brought us some dinner!

Lee, are you home?

Lee?

[MASCOT 3000:] (spoken)

Sequence concluded.
Minor Characters

This page lists minor characters from Paul's assorted works that do not have important or fleshed-out enough appearances to warrant their own page.

You may be looking for the minor characters pages for The New Albion Tetralogy, The Ballad of Lost Hollow, The Fairypunk Trilogy, or The Secret Series.

## The Posthuman War

### General Mucklepuck

General Mucklepuck is an anthropomorphic warthog who makes several appearances, initially in Astonishing Tales of the Highly Improbable and The Posthuman Playhouse. He returned during Acts 5 and 6 of The Posthuman War.

## A Slenderman Musical

### Jordan Lane

Jordan Lane is a resident of The Decadent Abbey, and appears in A Slenderman Musical. Before coming to the Abbey, she and her husband were game designers, but after looking too deeply into some subjects, Jordan's husband was taken by the Slenderman. She appears to fill the position of abbess, functioning as the one of the leaders of the Abbey.
Bradley Johnson

Bradley performing in The Posthuman Cabaret, photo by Nora Bellamy

**Bradley Johnson** is a singer and a lovely ray of sunshine. He was one of the performers at the The Posthuman Cabaret

Bradley had adopted a personal sun motif long before joining the New Albion fandom. His heavy use of sun imagery in his necklace, his bracelet, his shirt, his tote bag, his autographs, his emoji choice, etc etc are not intended to be interpreted as statements in opposition to the New Albion's Sun Theory.
The Vampyr

**The Vampyr**, also known as the Black Monk, is a minor character of Janissary. He is voiced by Tomislav M. Čeleketić.

## Character Information

The Black Monk appears in Thus Spake The Vampyr. In it, he carries Bogdan away from the battlefield to the monastery of the Black God (Chernobog) and reassures Bogdan that neither he nor the other monks of Chernobog are vampires. He continues, explaining that Bogdan is the pawn of Chernobog, and that the god wishes for Bogdan to continue his path of vengeance by killing the Vizier as well as a girl who will be with him.
Bio1 棚户区

"Bio1 棚户区" is the second track of The Broken Cyborg. The title translates to "shanty town."

## Lyrics

[HAN-MI:] *(spoken)*

Once upon a time, there was a shanty town in the center of a large park in the city of New Albion. Although it had started with a small group of back to nature enthusiasts, it was eventually joined by runaways and disenfranchised young punks, until eventually it evolved into a various mix of neofuturist hippies, crunchy cyberpunks and transfuturist modification junkies. Whatever digital body enhancements that existed under a certain legal radar could be acquired here, and thus amongst the colorful, close knit collection of societal strays were those with the most radical body modifications. Over time, this odd collection had evolved into not just their own neighborhood, but culture and community.

[SHANTY TOWN CHORUS:]

We’ve got bio cyber futurist transmutation robo-tech

We’ve got gadget doodad knickknacks some folks stick into their heads

Altercations artificial and organic you can buy

And cybertechs both punk and hippy who’ll jerry rig it for a price

We’ve got biotech enhancements, we’ve got chips inside the brain

We’ve got tattoo art and body parts with feline DNA

We’ve girls with cyber eyeballs seeing spectrums you can’t dream

If it’s the edge of biohacking then it’s here that you might seek

We’ve got shacks whose walls are motherboards, inside a VR world

Our resident biopunk grows tails onto paying college girls

We’ve got hippies growing veggies and punks with half a robot face

There’s a lot of folks with lots of limbs that all have been replaced

We’ve got body parts that plug in, liquid flesh both old and new

Cyber eyes that let you see the world as an anime cartoon

We’ve got our own biopunk genius, a dropout so they say

Who makes all our toys here possible and they're just getting underway

We’ve got lights that light the park at night but the only way

You can see them is with an implant and those we rarely give away

Except to all the prostitutes who roam the park here every night

And for free we gave them tasers in their knuckles for a fight

If you want a pair of ears that look just a like an ocelot

That can hear laylines and astral winds and ghosts that roam the park

Or the sound of creatures cats stare at when looking at the wall

We can help you here, find all the things you wish you didn’t know

We’ve two sentient holograms on the run here from the law

For a string of robberies years ago they pulled when they were young

We’ve got Robodog and Luna with just a little fairy blood

She can turn your dreams to nightmares if you really piss her off

We’ve got cyber goths and Emo techs and rivetheads who will role play

Afro future anarchopunks who take furries out to raves

New romantic beatnik otherkin with neofolkish tastes

And the queerness here intensifies each and every day
Crossroadies

The Lost Posthumans or 'Crossroadies' were a group of posthumans who were experimenting with various posthuman powers. The only two named members are Baron Samedi (Doug) and Cerridwen (Ethel). The group is featured in Astonishing Tales of the Highly Improbable and The Posthuman Playhouse.

## Background

The Crossroadies were a group of experienced posthumans who were interested in a number of powers, including the ability to slow or stop aging. They devised a plan to halt the aging process by creating "The Crossroads", a subreality attached to Elysium which would be closed off from all entry, including by the powers of time. The group invited as many posthumans to join them as they could find, although not all accepted the invitation.

## History

*Main Article: Astonishing Tales of the Highly Improbable, The Posthuman Playhouse*

As the group were preparing to close the door to The Crossroads, Jill and Jan entered their subreality, but the two stayed only for a moment upon realizing it wasn't Elysium itself. The entrances to The Crossroads were sealed sometime after this event.

An undetermined amount of time after this, the posthumans in this group started to go mad, which caused them to talk in circles and quickly forget the topic of conversation. They recognized that they needed to leave The Crossroads, but were unable to unseal any of the entrances from the inside. The Crossroadies began to look for outside assistance in the form of a freshly flowered posthuman. After several attempts to flower a new posthuman, their attention turned to Lloyd Allen, and they collaborated on a method which was the first known to work.
New Albion 4

"New Albion 4" is the second track of the fourth act of The Dolls of New Albion, and the twentieth track of the album overall.

## Performers

Kayleigh McKnight as "The Narrator"

Jason Broderick as "Soldier 7285"

## Lyrics

[NARRATOR:]

Meanwhile, we come back to the fourth and final act
Byron got himself a trophy wife and had
A daughter who he named Priscilla and she came
To age in a city that is now a police state

New Albion today is a harsh and martial place
The riots destroyed buildings, streets and throughways
The City took control through a state of martial law
That remains to this day as troops of armored cops patrol

[SOLDIER 7285:]

And on this day of my enlistment
I shed my skin of will and innocence
I pledge allegiance and devotion
I’ll be the power that you flex

I am your arm of execution
I am the trigger of your gun
I am the binding and the order
My duty to you has begun

[NARRATOR:]

Random searches are the law, looking for remaining Dolls
And if found, execution is immediate for all
Any token of the dead, whether relative or friend
Is forbid and if found you may or may not be seen again

Jasper’s still around and he’s with Priscilla now
They sit and hide together deep within the family house
They spend their days resigned from the brutal world outside
And play a never ending game of cards to pass to time