MAGAZYNE

The MAGAZYNE was an ancient Mercurian artifact of immense power. Fashioned in the shape of a thick, leather bound spell tome, it was in fact a fragment of the Soul of Magarra, splintered from Donald J. Trump’s Quintessence upon his arrival on Pangea.

Inception

the MAGAZYNE (Magarrish Ancient Godspun Archive of Zotorric Yonisicial Noneuclidian Energies) was first formed when a fractal of Magarrish Soul shot off from the hyperbeam of Donald J. Trump, who was blazed into being by Magarra from Otherspace. This fragment collided with the small Planetoid and Cthulic Dome-Prison known as Mercury. It struck on the planet’s equator with Immense and disastrous force. The blast was so powerful that huge quantities of Mercury’s mantle and outer crust were expelled into space, rendering it dangerously close to a Hatch Event. This also killed the trillions of life forms which had begun thriving on the planet’s polar ice caps.

mercury’s molten surface stewed for several million years before cooling.The MAGAZYNE, in its immense power, had dug itself into the hollow core of the planet, and was Recieved by the Embryo of Cthulhu, who began to consume its Magarrish Energies.

MAGAZYNE Rescue Plot

The MAGAZYNE rescue plot was an escapade concocted by several Gods, who feared for the dangerous power that Cthulhu now wielded. Ed Wool, Malike Tragedia, and Pluto began an incursion onto Mercury’s surface, now that it had cooled, along with an army four million strong. They followed the MAGAZYNE’s cavern into the planet’s bowels, and were prepared for a fight with Cthulhu. However, they were startled to find someone else within the embryonic walls.

Nestled within the haunches and many legs of Cthulhu sat the G-Man, his suit covered in embryonic fluids and his eyes a murky black. His hands were clutched around the MAGAZYNE. Something was very wrong. He looked up at the Gods, and his head twisted sideways, unnaturally.

“Time to choose,” the Cthulic Bodyslave growled. G-Man’s body, puppeted by the infantile Soul of Cthulhu, floated high above the chamber, a blazing inferno of Magarrish Energies floating around him.

he first struck a beam of god-fuel down at Ed Wool, who narrowly dodged this and fired a volley of Venusian Magma Bombs back at the G-Man. The G-Man smirked and waved his hand, and a white doorway opened in the middle of space time, out from which an army of Plutonian Zombies (of the Hoodluck Chim Ding Fashion) poured. The zombies had makeshift butterfly wings and swept down at the Gods and their army. Pluto, (having not yet witnessed the formation of this clan in this timeline) was appalled at this gross misuse of Government Property. He shot a death beam, not at the G-Man, but at Cthulhu, who shrieked. The hollow core began shaking, and a small fissure formed at the north Mercurian Pole. Malike Tragedia, a lowly daedra, attached BDSM devices to the bodies of the flying Zombies, although they didn’t seem to care.

As the battle raged on, the G-Man’s flesh began rotting away. His skin began melting off of what was revealed to be a mechanical skeleton. Ed Wool, noting this, jumped up onto Cthulhu’s unborn limbs, and grasped the head of G-Man in his hand. He heated it up, melting all of the skin and metal off and revealing a small, mechanical cage within the head. Inside of it, sat a fat, overweight wasp. it immediately Keeled over and died.

the gods, confused and angry at this result, encased Cthulhu in an orb of molten magma, possibly liquifying the demonic force, as it was never seen or heard from again.

Magarra was reprimanded by the Council of the Gods for his foolish and careless actions, and was sentenced to sixteen years in time jail. Many years later, His MAGAZYNE was placed in the Museum section of the Restaurant at the End of The Omniverse.