Señor Jordan

he licks poop off public toilets

some time in 2015 (later revived)

Señor Jordan was a person who took the role of Kirk after The Day The Math Died. He was the only human to ever escape the forbidden zone. After he escaped, he replaced Kirk on youtube, hence stealing all of his subs. Yet he was hunted down by Kirk and vaporized in a quasar (Gate 666). He made another appearance on January 9, 2017, at 12:30 PM, after being revived by the infamous Lucas. When he was revealed he married his wife Margaret Dixon. When he married Margaret Dixon he was challenged by Kirk. By chance he vaporized him, killing him instantly.

When Kirk was revived by the eMathinstruction agents, he retrieved Jordan's body and turned him into one of Kirk's old alias's Reliew Krik. Krik completed many devious deeds and turned eMathInstruction into the modern day monopoly/tycoon of today. However, in the end Kirk's desire made him jealous of Jordan's 200,000 subs, and unfortunately he was forced to return the brainwashed Jordan to his grave.

Jordan awoke in the junkyard of azugardeh in Mylon (Second Q-Dimen.) Here he became acquainted with the likes of Toby "Tugboat" McGuire and "Sharpshooter" Señor Woolly. After the snap the area where people who had disappeared had landed in various areas, one of which being azugardeh. Tom Holland was replaced with the now late McGuire temporarily after the snap. There were about 10,000 people in azgardeh, all from the United Arab Emerates. These people started a manhunt for the three, and unfortunately both Woolly and McGuire were captured, and later killed by firing squad.

Jordan met a man named Morphius who helped him escape the junkyard and make it to the exfil location. From there Jordan hunted Kirk down and they fought in an epic duel later known as "The Battle of KáraÐ-Ðum." Kirk of course won; Jordan was shunned and banished from Earth. He colonized Mariodoc-4 and from there created a small people known as the Senjo. Because of his defeat against Kirk, every day he will attempt to carry a boulder up a mountain, in spite of his defeat and to remind him of his weakness.

After many years on Mariodoc-4, his banishment from Earth was finally over, he flew to Earth only to find Kirk his arch nemesis had taken over the world he once knew. He landed in a small town name Dover, and met an injured angel guarding over the town named Sean Herberto(Brofe). Brofe had been injured by the latest attack from the Kirk Army, and was to injured to fight another battle. He was too injured

UPDATE: Señor Jordan's true identity has been revealed. He is actually Owen Severance, better known as Joaquim.

UPDATE TWO: Señor Jordan's main amigo was recently revealed to be the real Luca Schmidt, also know as Tobey "Tug Boat" Maguire. You can often find both of them at Applebee's teaching Español to local children.

UPDATE THREE: It has been discovered that the esteemed Señor Jordan, in addition to Luca "Tobey 'Tug Boat' Maguire" Schmidt, is actually a high ranking member of the Illuminati. Señor Jordan, Tug Boat, and renowned actor Danny DeVito form a powerful and dangerous triad that could very well bring the civilized world to its knees.

UPDATE FOUR: After further investigation, there seems to be another party involved in this mess. A dangerous group has been spotted communicating with our dangerous triad. This group consists of the famous Michael Cera (with that stunning mustache), the man of many languages himself, Javier Marzan, famous Extr@ star, and the one and only Lawrence Ray. The two groups were seen watching award winning telenovela En nombre del amor. The world trembles at what these men could be planning, but what is unknown is if they are friends... or foes?

UPDATE FIVE: Approximately 26 minutes into the first episode of the famed telenovela, there is a scene in which a little girl named Romina throws her glass of milk in anger. To the best of our understanding, a heated argument broke out between the two parties. The Señor Jordan, Tugboat Maguire, and Danny DeVito triad believed that the scene would have been much more riveting if the glass of milk had been thrown in the mother's face instead of on the floor. The other three believed that it was already as beautiful and well-made as a scene could possibly be, and didn't want any changes. Worst came to worst, and the punches started flying left and right.

UPDATE SIX: It was as if it was WWIII, the fight seemed endless. Fists were thrown, chairs were launched like projectiles, and battle cries were heard as they echoed through the ring. Everyone was fighting to kill, for that is how they were trained but you cant help seen the emotion in their eyes. They did not want to fight, as the brawl got more lethal with every punch our hero's, Jordan's Posse, were secretly communicating using their secret language. "1-900-490-FREAK" said Jordan but he really meant "this world will not survive this war". Tobey responded "Moon Shoes" meaning "we must take this to.... space".

UPDATE SEVEN: The first church of Senor Jordan has been opened in downtown Richmond, Virginia.

he likes trains