Big Brother 10/Week 7

It sucks because I really wanted to show others and myself that I could win HOH. I haven't won a competition since Week 1 and it sucks seeing other people win things and me being left behind. Add in the fact that most likely Q/Bradley are safe because no way in HELL does Sam put them up means that I'm most likely losing an ally by the end of the week. It just stinks all around.
My one saving grace is that I don't think Sam will be putting me or Natalia up. I mentioned a possible F3 deal between the two of us, and I'm hoping he sticks to it. I know that he and Nat are close, and I'm hoping that they see me as much of a goat to drag along with them. I'm hoping…

sam just won hoh which is ugly bc he prob gonna nom me which is fair cuz i dont like to talk to him so i dont. but still ugly...szy thinks he wont but hes WRONG. so then!!! (omg im writing this like as if i was doing it sporadically but its all at once idk ya) bradley says sam gonna nom me and he gonna try to talk to him to stop him. he says tell no one. i told... someone :( i thought szy wouldnt leak i was just telling him cuz he was so annoying saying sam wouldnt nom me so i wanted to be like WELL GUESS WHAT MIMI WE DID. but.. he told SAM (he says its bc he wanted to throw bradley utb which i kind of believe) but it has the annoying side of fact that sam told bradley he knows bradley told me. so now bradley mad at me and i just play dumb but i do that so much no way he belives it but its mean cuz i actually wanna work with bradley and kind of trust him but he prob doesnt trust me at all. BUT then apparently throwing bradley utb worked so now sam might backdoor him but idk.. seems fishy. BUT THEN SAM OPENED PANDORAS BOX and its double veto and i think i won a veto?? by doing a nightmarish puzzle from heck. it was so bad. idk if i won tho things are confusing. i panic. im so hungry. i wanted lunch. but i had to do a puzzle instead. hm.. sam wants to talk but i just dont like him KJDASHFKJ its so. ugh i know i have to put emotions aside for game but i cant stand him hes such a pig and makes stupid racist remarks and i just cant stan it UGHH like bradley is annoying with how cocky he is but i get over it for better of my game.. why cant i do it with sam.

Oh and to top this off, I lost trust in Szy real quick with this move because this story that they're trying to sell me about yoni telling Sam I was "worried" about Sam winning HoH is bullshit. I highly highly doubt yoni would say that when just last week she was telling me she wanted to solidify something with me and Sam and her. Lmfao. Well I'll say this much, they'll have to take me out KICKING AND SCREAMING, cuz that's the only way I'm leaving the BB house. So, let's see how veto goes and if I'm still up and Bradley or a bigger threat is not sitting next to me after the ceremony, all HELL is breaking loose and whoever is sitting next to me better be scared.
Toodles.

I think one of the contributing factors into that is that it's been hard trying to play a solid game and be in control of things when it seems like this entire game has been boys vs. girls. It makes things hard for me, who is a person who typically likes to float in the middle, since I always feel like I'm stuck to one side. Luckily, it seems like I may have an in w/some folks to get me by.
Sam is the HOH which is good for my game, much better than Bradley winning at least. I don't know, there's just something about that kid that I don't trust. Anyways, I know that Sam is going to target Bryce and possibly Szymon for eviction, which while it does suck to lose one of them, I also don't want to get sidetracked from my goal which is winning. I needed them to go eventually, I was just hoping Bradley could go first.
Ideally, I want to try and talk to Sam about the noms to maybe convince him to BD Bradley. He might budge and do it IF he feels like he has the entire support of the whole house. I'm going to talk it over with my Double D, Natalia, and see what she's thinking…

Last week, I told Sam that I was thinking of an alliance with the three of us but then I also said he should talk to Nat and reassure her that she's good for the group since she was unsure of what he would do but knew that he would keep her and I safe. That's not exactly what I said verbatim but you get the gist.
The problem now is that Sam is targeting her because he feels like she didn't want him to win when that's not the case. So now I've gotta talk to Sam, make sure he keeps Nat off the block, and then work on Bradley going up.

Also, I'm not sure why Bradley and I can't connect. He's in college, in fact he's a senior, so I'd wager he's about 21 or 22 yet the kid just seems so socially awkward. Like he wonders why he's being targeted so many times. Well... the only reason people want him out is because his social interactions are fake. I have a feeling like he was all gung ho with the guys and then once he saw that the guys were found out, he jumped ship and decided to play the "every man" game. But the problem with that was... he didn't have the proper connections to make a good flip Since he spent so much time "bro-ing" it down with his bros \*rolls eyes\*

Idk if I'm being irrationally paranoid but like this is where I'm at rn... So I know I want to push as much as possible to win this veto comp for myself but I'm worried if it's me and szy at f2 and I don't throw it to szy that he'll be mad at me cuz he would be vulnerable but like... Ugh I just am so skeptical. It seems too good to be true.
Also oopsies I might have mentioned to Quintin that there could be a chance of Sam backdooring Bradley before I found out from Bryce they are in an alliance lmaooooo so I had to play it off like I would push it on Sam bc "it's my best shot to stay" and "I'm desperate". Quintin asked me who I had heard from that Sam could possibly backdoor Bradley but I wanted to protect Szy and not tell Quintin that it was Szy who told me Sam was willing to backdoor Bradley.. so I played it off and didn't throw szy utb. Also, if you ask me, Sam has never had any intention of putting up Bradley lmao it would be a terrible game move for Sam and Sam is no idiot. But Szy seems "convinced" Sam would do it. I mean if he does it'd be amazing but I'm not buying it.
Oh so today I "made up" with Sam and acted like I had no hard feelings and we were cool moving forward blah blah cuz if I am still otb after veto ceremony I don't want Sam pushing for me to go cuz he thinks I'm gonna come after him full force lol. I love Sam sm he's awesome 💯 (sorry for cussing you out last confessional 😳😳) but for my game, I definitely AM coming for him full force lol. He's way too good at comps to leave around any longer. He was right after Bradley on my ideal boot list anyway.

I’m glad that most of the people on our alliances got to play in the veto, the best scenario would be either szymon or yoni got the veto so that they can use it on one of us and bryce on the other. and boom we still have the numbers to save the other player. It’d be a great turnaround and all hell broke loose ksjdksjs
I decided to throw myself under the bus to bradley, i know that he has a loud mouth but thats the plan, hes gonna think that im at the bottom and im disposable by my alliances, if that got me a vote to stay in this game well hell yeah im just gonna ride it.

Bryce has the secret POV that was won this week, which is great for my alliance. But I also have another alliance with Sam/Q/Bradley. Personally, I have way more loyalty to the bottom clowns so I do want to save them this week. However, I feel like if I use the Veto, I'm going to look shady to the other alliance.
The only way I could somehow get around that happening is if I could convince Sam/Q that cutting Bradley is best for us and pulling in maybe Maya as a fifth is better, but also make them think that we didn't have the votes to save Bradley to begin with by lying about Abi's vote. That might be one way to manuever around it, but I'm not sure...
Ugh! I feel like I opened a whole can of worms by winning this not going to lie LoL

brad & q goes up and honestly i’m fine with it but the fact that brad talked about how sam is his #1 ally and he is sending him home is hilarious kdjdksjs PHENOMENAL! i love him but i never sees we make it to the end together, he is kind of screwing me sometimes but i know hes got my back so yh. its his time.

At the same time, Bradley chose, made, and cuddled his bed.. so now he has to lie in it. He even admitted to me he picked a side and it ended up being a side that was gonna discard him. Nonetheless, there can only be one winner so at some point everybody is gonna get royally screwed, and for everyone except for one, it will cost them their game. At this point, you just have to make sure it isn't you.