Sunday, Bloody Sunday

## Content Information

**Note:** This occurs directly after Kingdoms of Isolation and immediately before Tornado Warning. The scenes were split for length.

Xander’s unconscious body laid in a hospital bed.  Dozens of wires were hooked up to him with a bunch of monitors beeping and buzzing around the room.  He was in incredibly rough shape, dozens of cuts and bruises covered his exposed arms.  There was a massive gauze pad over his right cheek, another over his right eye.  From his eyebrows up was wrapped tightly, barely any of his hair visible.  His left leg was raised in a thick cast, and his left arm was in a sling.  His breaths were incredibly shallow, and there were dried flecks of blood still hanging on him in various places.

Fortunately, for the sanity of all involved, there were no doctors or nurses in the room when one of the walls seemed to shimmer, momentarily overlaid with the glass-like walls of the Obsidian City. A shadowy form could be seen on the far side of that wall, stretching out a hand. At its touch, a crack formed, running along the wall until it formed the outline of a door. For a moment, nothing else happened, then the figure on the other side pushed against it and the ‘door’ shattered into thousands of shards of volcanic glass, some of which hung suspended in the air by some force unknown, the remainder tumbling to the floor in a tinkling cascade as Tamzen staggered into the room, reaching out blindly for a wall to support her.

After another couple of steps, she found one, and she leaned against it, panting heavily. As she opened her eyes the room returned to normal, save the addition of one unwashed, and newly re-bloodied woman. She slid her hand down the wall, barely taking note of the cotton string hanging from a metal sensor until she felt it activate as her hand dragged it along.

“Oh *shit*…” she muttered, realizing she had just activated one of the staff call systems. She glanced around, confirming that everything was as it should be.

A nurse came rushing to the door.  “... like he finally woke- What the…”  The nurse looked directly at Tamzen, eyes narrowing.  “Who are you?  I didn’t hear about any visitors being permitted for this room!”

“Sorry, I’m Tamzen. Tamzen Shaw - someone called me from here, said he’d listed me as his emergency contact? I just came to be here with him…”

The nurse grabs Tamzen’s wrist and begins dragging her out of the room.  “Emergency contact or not, you have to be properly signed in, young lady!”

Tamzen dragged her heels a bit, half turning to look back at the hospital bed and it’s occupant. Her breath caught in her throat, as she finally took in the horrific totality of his injuries. *He looks worse than Dad did…* she thought, horrified. It hadn’t been that long ago that she had sat vigil bedside for her father in this same hospital, waiting to hear the news from the doctors about whether he would survive his injuries. *I’m not sure that I can do this again so soon… it was bad enough the first time…* Pressing her lips tight together in an attempt to keep herself from crying - or being sick - Tamzen allowed the nurse to lead her back out to visitor registration.

\* \* \*

“What do you *mean* I can’t see him?” Tamzen asked the functionary at the desk in the main waiting area. Somehow, she was managing to keep her temper in check, but she was certain that she was making a fine spectacle of herself none-the-less. Fortunately, there weren’t many people hanging around at the moment, just a few small groups scattered about, and one young man lounging on one of the couches, typing furiously on his laptop. “You called me - I’m his emergency contact.”

The woman at the desk didn’t even bother to look up at her, just filing away at her nails.  “Listen you may be his emergency contact, but you’re not family.  First twenty four hours after serious cases like this we let in fiancées, spouses, parents, siblings, and kids… that’s it.  I don’t see anything in our database that’d suggest you’re any of those, so I can’t let you see him.”  She chewed a piece of gum thoroughly.  “Come back tomorrow and maybe you can go and visit.”

“*Damn you*, he doesn’t have anyone else here!” Tamzen said, her frustration leaking through. “He-” she stopped, mentally running through the list: *parents, siblings, spouses, fia…* She straightened up and looked at the woman. “*I’m* his fiancée,” she said, a note of urgency in her voice. Behind her, the young man with the laptop looked watched with interest, his hands still typing, but his attention clearly drawn to the scene at the front counter.

The woman stopped and looked up to her, blowing a bubble and popping it.  “Oh sure you are dear, and I’m the long lost empress of Russia.”  She dropped the nail file and gave Tamzen a scowl.  “Look kid, like I said, you can come back tomorrow if you really want to see him.”

Tamzen gritted her teeth. *Don’t shout. If they reduce you to shouting, they win.* “I’m not going anywhere until I see him, and know that he’s going to be okay.”

The woman gave a long, annoyed sigh, as at the front of the building, a sensor-triggered door slid open and closed again.  “Kid, you’re not getting in.  Look... your friend or boyfriend or whatever he is probably gonna be fine.  He was probably drunk, or speeding, or both, it happens all the time here.  Besides it’ll be a good lesson in the long ru-”

“Don’t you *dare* talk about him like that” Tamzen hissed. “Xander Crossman is the man I love, the man I *am* going to marry, and I’m not going to let you sit there and act like he *deserved* any of this.” She straightened her shoulders, and glared down at the woman, trying to summon up Gertrude’s lessons on attitude (she’d hate herself for it later, but the woman *did* get results). “Now. Please call your supervisor up here - I’d like to have a few words with him about why *you* are keeping his fiancée from being in there with him.”

The woman looked like she was about to say something more aggressive, but immediately shrunk back into her seat.  A look of terror taking over her face as she stared just past Tamzen.  The girl could feel a cold hand grip her shoulder, as a familiar voice cooed from behind her.  “Now, dear, whyever are you keeping my grandson’s lovely *fiancée* from seeing him in such a dire time?  It truly is a shame, it sounds like I should have a chat with your superior as well.”

*Don’t freeze up, don’t freeze up… remember, snakes can smell fear…* Tamzen forced herself to smile at the woman at the desk, posture still projecting the confidence she was *definitely* not feeling. “I see that you are familiar with Xander’s grandmother, Mrs. *Gertrude* Crossman.”

The woman nodded, gingerly handing them a couple of visitor passes.  Gertrude, circling around Tamzen, picked them up and gave her one.  “Come dear, let’s go assess the damage to your future husband.”  Reaching back and grabbing Tamzen’s hand, she dragged the girl behind her, sneering at the receptionist as she passed.  “How dare you treat a Crossman like that, future or otherwise.  If I’m feeling generous you *may* still have a job after this.”  Gertrude kept dragging Tamzen to the elevator, causing the girl to have to hurry to keep up with her, and once the door shut she finally released her hand.  “I’m glad you’re taking my lessons to heart Ms. Shaw.  Well all but the attire I suppose… and you looked so sharp this past Tuesday.”

“Yeah, well… it’s been a rough couple of days…” Tamzen muttered *sotto voce*, earning her a sharp look and cleared throat from Gertrude. She straightened up and looked at Xander’s grandmother. “That is, I’m afraid the news caught me unexpectedly, and in my hurry to get out here to see Xander, I didn’t think it wise to take the time to clean up and change.”

Gertrude sighed, “I suppose it couldn’t be helped given your station.  I was able to put myself together, but I have people for that.  I’ll send you to get better loungewear another time, girl.”  She paused, a small hint of a grin forming.  “So… he invited you to join the family so soon did he?”

Tamzen turned her attention to the elevator control panel, watching the number climb as the car ascended. Her hands clenched at the wrists of her hoodie, as she considered her options. But with Gertrude, honesty had turned out to be a surprisingly good policy. She glanced at the older woman with a cool expression. “I think we *both* know that he did not, ma’am.”

Gertrude chuckled lightly to herself.  “A jest of course child.  I would’ve already known if he had after all.”

“We stand in awe of your ability to keep tabs on your grandson’s life,” Tamzen replied dryly. “Though I can’t imagine your man’s suit was terribly comfortable out by the lake.”

“Oh trust me my dear, *neither* of them had a good time if my reports are accurate.”

Tamzen shot Gertrude a confused look. “What do y- *oh…*” She felt her cheeks burn in embarrassment, and turned her attention back to the door.

“Don’t worry my dear, perfectly natural.  The Crossman family has always had a way with mortals.  I’m just glad to know you’re truly interested in hi-”

*Oh gods. If any of you love me, please put me out of my misery.* Tamzen’s cheeks blazed red, and she couldn’t bring herself to look at Gertrude. “I *seem* to recall that you agreed to make yourself scarce when it came to our ‘romantic endeavors’...”

Gertrude smiled wide.  “Oh dear, I did make *myself* scarce.  Unfortunately, in needing to keep an eye on you both, my personnel may have gotten… a bit too much of an eyeful.  One could say that they did their jobs all *too* well.  So in that sense, I held my end of the bargain just fine.”

“Funny, I thought I was dealing with a serpent, not a djinni,” Tamzen responded curtly. “You knew perfectly well that the *point* of that agreement was to not be seen to be pressuring h-” The elevator dinged and the doors slid open, cutting the conversation short as Tamzen forced a neutral expression across her face. She stepped out onto the unit, and glanced around for signs to orient herself. “This way,” she said heading down the hallway towards Xander’s room.

It wasn’t a long walk, and it remained blessedly silent. Xander’s room was the last one on the end of the hallway, and Tamzen slowed slightly, taking up a place against the wall. “Why don’t I give you a minute alone with him?” she offered, gesturing towards the door. “I’ll join you when the doctor gets here.”

Gertrude looked confused at the girl, sliding past her into the room.  Then she gazed to where Xander was, and truly understood the horrid condition her grandson was actually in.  She approached him slowly, carefully taking a seat next to his bed.  When she’d heard it was a car accident, she’d expected scrapes and bruises.  This though, this was far beyond some the simple minor off-roading she’d thought it was based off the reports.  The injuries that covered his body, the number and severity, they…

She lost her train of thought, and gazing into the distance she seemed to hear fair sounds.  Glass shattering, metal crunching, fire breaking out, an explosion… horrible screams of agony.  Gertrude gripped Xander’s right hand tightly as it dangled from the bed, rubbing it gently.  She saw fire, a Cadillac flipped over burning, little hands reaching out from the wreckage, his once stern handsome face being consumed by the flames.  Finally, an explosion, a huge fireball that consumed everything.  Then, silence, the screams had ceased, replaced only with the low rumble of fire raging.

Gertrude gasped, seeing that she’d been staring into a monitor.  She could feel a single tear finding its way down her cheek, her grip on Xander’s hand like a vice.  She released it, quickly wiping away the lone trail of water.  When she’d recentered herself she let a hand brush the little bit of hair beneath his wrap away from his eyes.

“You’re a fool Xander, an absolute disappointment, as with all of your mother’s children.  That soft heart of yours, it’s been a liability since the first day I began caring for you.”  She lightly rubbed his right arm.  “Yet, here we are, sitting in this room.  My family… all of them gone aside from you, and you, its last best hope, lying in a hospital bed.  It’s ironic honestly, and if I were a younger woman, this could be a lesson to take to heart.  However, I’m too old to learn new tricks unfortunately.”

She laid a gentle hand on his chest.  “That’s why you need to live, no matter what.  If you die, so too do the Crossmans.  Then everything I’ve done for fifty years, all the sacrifices I’ve made, the blood I’ve shed in defense of this family, all of it will mean nothing.”

“Derry, my sweet little Derry.  If only I could’ve shown you sooner how much it hurts to have such a soft heart.”  She gripped the chair, her knuckles turning white.  “Perhaps if I can mold the girl well, maybe-”

There was a gentle rap on the wall just inside the room, and Tamzen cleared her throat. “The doctor is here, Mrs. Crossman.” She slipped into the room, and sat down in the other chair in the room, across the bed from where Gertrude was sitting. Sitting on the edge of the chair, she reached out and brushed her fingers along Xander’s cheek.

The doctor, an older man with graying hair, entered the room.  He approached the bed, and took hold of the clipboard sitting at its base.  He gave them both a curt nod.  “Hello, my name is Dr. Franklin, I was the surgeon who oversaw Xander’s procedures.  He is… well you can tell how serious this is.  I won’t sugar coat it for you two, he’s lucky to even be alive right now.  A cracked skull, a broken leg, multiple broken ribs, a punctured lung, large amounts of internal bleeding, a dislocated shoulder, and of course numerous lacerations and contusions all over his body.  He’s stable now, thankfully, but he hasn’t regained consciousness yet.  It doesn’t necessarily surprise me honestly, he was severely exhausted and dehydrated on top of everything else when he was brought in.  That’s most likely the cause of the crash, as it was just a single car.”

Tamzen sat there in horrified silence as the doctor detailed the extent of Xander’s injuries, her hand clutching at the mattress near Xander’s side. In truth, she barely registered what the doctor said, her thoughts occupied with the same words over and over again. *My fault… all my fault… my fault…*

Gertrude sat in uncomfortable silence as she listened.  When he’d reached the end of his statement she held a hand up.  “Thank you for… keeping him alive.  Now, I’ll ask that we be left alone for a time.  The girl and I have much to discuss.”

With a curt nod the doctor left the room, leaving the two alone with Xander.

Gertrude gave a brief sigh of discontent, and at that moment her phone dinged.  Pulling it out and giving it a look, she shook her head.  Returning it to her pocket she looked to Tamzen, expressionless.  “It seems we’ll have to move things along far quicker than I expected Ms. Shaw.  Your antics seem to have attracted the attention of vultures.”

Tamzen slowly raised her head, and reached up to wipe away the tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. “I… I don’t understand…”

Gertrude lifted her phone back out of her pocket.  “Love and Tragedy: Crossman Heir Hospitalized, and His Secret Fiancée Revealed!  A publication has already broken the story dear.  Now the public knows, both about his crash and your *engagement*.”

Tamzen blinked and looked at the back of the phone thoughtfully. “Media botches the story all the time on stuff like this, I don’t know why it would ma-” Wordlessly, Gertrude turned the phone around so that Tamzen could see the screen. It took a minute for the site branding to register at that distance, but then it clicked. “Wait… *Wonderland* broke the story?” For all of its reputation as a gossip rag, Wonderland had serious reporting chops, and a long track record of breaking stories that later showed up in more prominent media.

“Yes dear - *Wonderland*… Do you know how much of an embarrassment it’d be trying to contradict them?  No, no that won’t do at all.  I’ve already got the affluent world chomping at the bit about his condition, I can’t be fighting them on the status of your relationship!”  Gertrude stared hard at Tamzen.  “The words came from you, now I suppose we’re going to have to follow through on them.”

“I still don’t see why we can’t just t-” Tamzen trailed off, then held one hand up forestalling any response from Gertrude while her sleep-addled brain worked through the implications. She squinted her eyes tight, then sighed and looked over at Xander’s grandmother. “We can pull the rug out from under the story by telling the truth, but since your plan was always for us to be engaged, and sooner rather than later, that tactic only works *if there actually isn’t a relationship between Xander and me.*” She pressed the heel of the hand against her forehead. “Otherwise, you look like a liar at worst, or out-of-the-loop at best.”

“Precisely, and my reputation can’t be soiled like this.  I won’t have the time left on this plane to recover it.  Then no smooth transition of power, no… no no no!  The timetables have been pushed up, Ms. Shaw, whether you like it or not.  More attention and scrutiny will be placed on you than ever before.  In addition I fully expect you to be by his side as he recovers, it’ll be a long painful process for sure and I expect you to give him the utmost care and attention.  I’m far too busy to be able to attend to him myself after all.”  The old woman folded her hands over her lap.  “So, I must pose the question, are you going to stay with him?  This is your last chance to leave if you’re not dedicated and serious, both about the company, and about my Xander.”

Tamzen considered Gertrude carefully, lack of sleep and anxiety forming a knot in her chest. She was tired, physically and mentally. And she was sick of the mind games, of trying to stay three moves ahead of a woman who delighted in pulling the rug out from underneath her - from underneath *them*. She wanted to feel strong, but with every move she made she felt more and more a pawn in someone else’s game. She *hated* that feeling, hated how her life felt less and less her own.

But, thanks to Selene, she knew her heart. She knew that she cared for Xander. And even if she didn’t… she had time enough to see the scars that Gertrude had left on Xander. If she backed out, Gertrude would take him away, and he’d be alone and vulnerable.

She straightened up, settling into the confident posture that Gertrude had instructed her in. She kept her hands in her lap, and faced the other woman. “My commitment to Xander and to our... *agreement* has not changed in the slightest.”

Gertrude noded sharply.  “Well then, I have planning to do, yes quite a lot of planning.  Media appointments to set up to announce things officially, on my terms.  The foundation can hold a press conference on the issue tomorrow.  Don’t worry Ms. Shaw your involvement in any of that won’t be necessary.”  The older woman stood up from her chair.  “After all no member of the media would put pressure to see either of you at the moment, that is unless they wanted public opinion to turn on them sharply.  Beyond that there are celebrations which need coordinating and-”

“Hold on-” Tamzen held up one hand, in bid to stop her head from spinning at the prospect of everything that Gertrude seemed dead set on dropping on their heads. “Just… give me a second.” She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. “I realize you are feeling a time pressure, but the man is still unconscious. Can’t we wait on the full formalities until he’s starting to recover? You know… the whole ‘we ask that you respect the needs of the family for privacy during this stressful time… will be pleased to share more information as details are finalized…’ and so on?” Tamzen moved her right hand in tight circles as she spun out the classic PR platitudes.

“Plus, I think Xander will be more than a little annoyed with you if he wakes up and finds you’ve rearranged his entire life while he wasn’t able to object, wouldn’t you agree?”

Gertrude took a second to contemplate, and sighed.  “Ms. Shaw, under normal circumstances you’d be absolutely right.  These, however, are just not normal circumstances.  There are certain expectations we have to be held to when information like an engagement is revealed in high society.”

She began pacing the room.  “There will be so many individuals who will now need to meet you, and regardless of his condition a celebration of sorts is an obligation the Crossman family needs to fulfill to the others.  Especially as they view this as a secret we kept, which could be taken in any number of negative ways if we don’t make a public appearance soon.  Assumptions are dangerous, and there will be plenty of them moving forward if we don’t act to silence them now.”

The old woman looked to her grandson again, the slightest bit of pain seeming to find its way to her expression.  “If I’m being honest, I’d rather give him the time he needs, but that just isn’t an option if the family wishes to maintain control of Dynasty.”  She received multiple messages in quick succession, looking down to read them briefly.  “From what my assistants have gathered, the longest we could wait to hold a formal celebration is two weeks.  Otherwise the other families will begin to assume something is remiss.  I’m already receiving messages from fellow Dynasty board members, and other companies chairs and CEOs, who are demanding to meet you ‘at her earliest convenience’.  What they mean by that is immediately, and I can only hold them off for so long.  Holding a celebration is the easiest way to get all of that done with as quickly and painlessly as possible Ms. Shaw.”

Gertrude circled the bed to stand beside Tamzen, placing a hand on her shoulder.  “I can make it a week and a half from now, as we were going to hold a meeting of sorts here regardless.  I’ll just change the purpose to celebrating your engagement.”  She stood in silence for a moment.  “I’m sorry Tamzen… it’s the best I can do.”

Tamzen sat in silence for a long time, staring at Xander and thinking hard. “All right,” she said, sighing in resignation. “Have Mrs. Potts put together photos and info sheets on the people I’m going to be expected to meet by our next lesson on Tuesday - sooner, if she can manage it - I’ll need to start studying them.”

Gertrude stepped away towards the door.  “I’ll see to it that she has them ready as soon as possible.  I’ll be sure to add my own notes as well.  I’ve known some of these individuals their entire lives, so I can provide useful information on their strengths… and *weaknesses*.”  As she reached the door Gertrude hesitated, and took one last look back at her grandson.  She spoke in a somewhat shaky tone, with emotion she rarely showed.  “I’ll be going now, there are preparations to be made.  P-Please take care of him Ms. Sh- *Tamzen*, he’s all I have left…”  With that she left the room, closing the door gently behind her.

Tamzen moved over to take up the seat by Xander’s right side as Gertrude left.

*And whose fault is that?* she thought bitterly as she watched the woman leave.

\*\*\*

An hour and a half after Gertrude had left Tamzen was in the same seat, holding Xander’s hand.  She’d left for a bit, grabbing a shower and changing into some spare scrubs at the very *pointed* insistence of one of the nurses.  However, when she’d returned not much had changed.  The monitors beeped in the same ways, his breathing was still shallow, and he was still very much unconscious.  As Tamzen sat there, gently rubbing his hand, she was lost in thought about everything to come.

Then, very suddenly, her attention was pulled back to the room.  Her hand was being gently squeezed, and looking to Xander’s face she could see a grin forming as his eyes slowly opened.

He looked up to her, tilting his head ever so slightly.  Once he caught a glimpse of Tamzen, his grin turned into as wide and loving of a smile as he could manage.  “I-It’s good to see you out of the booth l-love, you had me worried.”  His voice cracked to life as he spoke, it barely became more than a whisper.  “S-sorry you had to come back to t-this though sweetheart, I m-must look terrible.”

Tamzen slumped back in relief, taking in a deep breath for the first time in what seemed like hours. After allowing herself a moment to settle, she leaned forward again, cupping his good hand in both of hers. “Moderately terrible, yes,” she assured him, smiling at him. “I guess it’s a good thing that the season is over - this would have done a number on your record.”

Her expression turned solemn again. “Xander, I- I’m *so* sorry. I was so caught up in how I was feeling that I didn’t think of what shutting you out was doing to you. I… I don’t deserve you, after the way I treated you, and if-”

Xander chuckled softly, his face twisting with the slight tinge of pain it caused him.  “Oh no y-you don’t, I’m not gonna let you go any further down that line of thought.  Whether you think you deserve me or not, I’m here, and I want to be with you Tamzen.”  He sighed lightly.  “It… it hurt, I need you to understand that what you did hurt me.  I felt so lonely and isolated, i-it was oh so bad…”  A bit of water began welling in his visible eye.  “B-But I’m not going to let you for a second blame yourself for this, ok?  This,” he gestured to his injuries, “This is not your, or anyone else’s, fault.”

“Alright,” Tamzen said, sounding unconvinced. “It’s no one’s fault. Not mine, not Linny’s...and not *yours* either.” She took a tissue, and reached up to brush the tears from his eye. “Clean slate - and next time we’ll find a better way through…”

“Yeah, and we’ll do it together next t-time.”  He reached up, straining himself a bit, to rub her cheek.  “By the way, I don’t know if you know this, and I’ve p-probably said it a million times, but you’re wonderful Tamzen Shaw.  Not worthless, not bad, not any of those negative things you sent me.  You’re kind, quick witted, and fun to be around.”  He gave a sly grin, or the best he could manage given his cheek injury.  “Not to mention the cutest and most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.  I never want to hear about how you don’t deserve me, because I’m oh so lucky to have you in my life at all.”

Tamzen chuckled, a soft *heh* barely heard over the sound of her breathing out. “Boy, am I *glad* to hear that… because I think you’re officially stuck with me now.”

If Xander’s eyebrows could be seen beneath the bandages, she’d be able to notice they were both raised.  “I-I mean that’s not a bad thing, like I w-want to be stuck with you, like of my own free will and...”  He took a second to examine her and realized something was off.  “Oh gods… w-what happened while I was out?”

Tamzen pinched the bridge of her nose, pushing her glasses upwards into furrowed brows. “Are you sure you want to hear it now? It might be better to wait until you’ve gotten some more rest…”

Xander put his hand on hers.  “Tamzen, I have no idea how long I’ve been out.  If anything important has happened in that time that affects our relationship, or anyone else we care about, I need to know ok?”

Tamzen hesitated for a moment, then nodded. She pulled her chair closer to the side of the bed, and took a moment to offer Xander some ice chips. “So… after you went into surgery this morning, someone must have brought your phone in from the crash site - I got a call from the hospital letting me know you had been in an accident. When I got here, the woman at the front desk wouldn’t let me in to see you…” Tamzen continued to recap the events of the past few hours, desperately trying to ignore the pit of dread that was starting to grow right at the junction of her neck and shoulders.

For as much of a mess as the situation threatened to become, it took remarkably little time to tell - only a few minutes at most. “...and that’s the whole damned mess.” She looked at him, guilt clear in her eyes. “Xander, I-”

He held a finger up to her lips, shushing her gently.  “No apologies, love, none are needed.”  He let his finger slide from her lips and brush her cheek.  “You didn’t do anything wrong Tamzen, not for a second.  Honestly, I’m proud of you for standing up to that woman, she sounds horrid.”  He let his hand fall back to his side, getting lost in thought for a second.  “At this point, it doesn’t seem like we have a lot of options.  Are you sure about this, you’re sure you want to go along with all of it?  I don’t want *engagement*, even if it’s fake, to be forced on you like this.  We could find another way around this.  If we could convince Gertrude that we’ve broken up over this then-”

Tamzen shook her head. “*No*. If we break up now, there’s no coming back from it. That was made perfectly clear to me. And she’d take you… *home*. I’ve seen what being alone with her has done to you - I won’t let that happen again.”

She smiled, eyes tired, and gripped his hand tightly. “Besides… when Selene came to the station this afternoon to yell at me about how I was treating you, and trying to seduce me into going to meet you for our date… every thought, every passion she stirred up in me? It was always *you.*”

Xander gripped her hand tightly in return.  Tears began to stream down his cheek a bit as he blushed.  “They… always… *me*.”  Unconsciously for a second he tried to pull her into a hug, then fell back down, his body wracked with pain.  “Oh gods, right, injured.  Ah, ah I’m just… ah.”  He began to stumble and trip a bit over his words.  “That’s uh, that’s… yes that’s very… it’s spectacular to uh… hear that.  After everything that happened I uh, well I just…”  He took a deep breath, his insides still in pain despite the pain relievers, and smiled.  “Gods I love you, I love you so so *so* much Tamzen.  I just wanna be with you forever…”  He bit his tongue, blushing harder underneath the bandages.  “Oh gods I’m such a rambling mess I-”

“Shh...*shhhhhh…*” she soothed, wiping away the tears, then lightly kissing her finger tips before brushing them gently along the uninjured side of his face. “Hon… you’ve had a long day - even if you were unconscious for most of it. It was a horrific accident. Your body needs *rest*. That’s your only job right now - to rest and get better from that car crash.”

Hearing the words ‘accident’ and ‘crash’, Xander’s eyes narrowed then shot back open.  “Oh no, Tamzen we need to warn everyone like right now!  It wasn’t an accident, I was attacked!”

“At-” she bolted upright, eyes wide as adrenaline rushed her system. “By who? What happened?”

“I was driving over to Fantasie, we’d agreed to do brunch there before everything happened, and I was hoping you’d still come.  So I left campus and turned down that side street, the one I showed you that’s a shortcut.  Well when I was just about at the end of it… that’s when it started with a flash of light!  After that,” he reached a hand up to his forehead looking disoriented, “A-After that I... they… ugh.”  He slumped a bit, sliding back into his bed.  “I’m sorry… I’m… it’s hazy…”

Tamzen frowned, eyes furrowed in thought. “Xander… will you let me try to retrieve the memory? From the Archive? I know you don’t like me dealing with it, but…”

Xander gave her a worried glance.  “Tamzen I…”  Considering it further he sighed deeply.  “I don’t want you to… but it may be the only way to confirm who it was…”  He squeezed her hand tightly.  “Just this once, and only because other people’s safety is on the line.  But please *please* be careful, love.”

She nodded. “I will. I shouldn’t need to walk there for this one - not when I’m right here by you.” She leaned forward and kissed him, her lips barely brushing his. “For luck,” she murmured, before sitting back down and resting her right hand on top of his.

He turned his hand to grip hers.  “Good luck, be safe, and stay away from anything having to do with Gertrude.”  He was joking about that last part… or was he?

She chuckled softly. “A bit too late for that, I’m afraid…” Still touching his hand, she turned her attention to the blank wall across the bed from her. Her eyes went unfocused, and her left hand moved as if she were running her hand along a shelf of books, searching for the right memory as much by touch and instinct as by sight...

*A young man, his heart desperately aching for the one he loves, turns onto a side street.  Suddenly a large flash of blinding light, and a loud thundering noise right in front of him.  The engine of his car has caught fire and exploded, bits of shattered windshield have left small cuts all over his exposed skin.  His cheek receiving the worst of it, a large gash opening on it.*
*Disoriented he rushes to get out of the burning wreckage, only to watch as multiple hooded figures begin to appear as if from thin air.  He panics, and turns to run, only to be cut off by a fist to his injured face.  Staggering backwards he falls to the ground, slamming his head into the bumper of the car with a sickening crack.  As his disorientation turned to sheer pain one figure removed their hood, and a face he didn’t recognize stared down at him smiling.  “Should’ve kept your nose clean Crossman, maybe then we might’ve left you alone for awhile.”  They tuck a note into his jacket pocket and pat him on the head.  Rising, they turn and point at a subordinate, who nods firmly.  With the sound of a horrible snap, pain overwhelms him.  As he slips into unconsciousness, at no point does he think of himself.  Instead, his thoughts turn to his friends and his love, hoping they were safe and worried how they’d react when they found out what happened.*

With a pained gasp, Tamzen snapped out of the memory, tears streaming down her cheeks and whimpering from the memory of pain. She felt a firm pressure on her hand and glanced down - at some point, Xander had entwined his hand with hers, and was holding it tightly.

“That… that…” she seemed momentarily disoriented, looking around the room with increasing urgency. “Where is your *jacket*?”

“My jacket… I… I don’t know.  When I woke up I was in this gown.  I have no idea what happened to my clothes.”  He squeezed her hand.  “Is the jacket important?  Better question though is are you alright?  That was dreadful to watch love.”

“I’m… I’ll… no, not important…” She held up her free hand, as if it would forestall her thoughts from bolting like spooked rabbits. “The jacket… they put something in your jacket pocket, before they… *gods…* your leg. A… a card - I couldn’t see it clearly, but there was a design on it - three stars… and an arrow?”

He tried to focus on it, yet he couldn’t remember anything.  “I’m sorry Tamzen… I don’t know.  I wish I did… but-”

“I *know*.” She reminded him, gently. “I couldn’t see it clearly because *you* couldn’t see it clearly. The angle was wrong… and you were seeing double at best by that point.”

His face contorted a bit, clearly concerned.  “Wait, wait wait wait… you were seeing from my point of view?  Like how I saw everything?”

She gave him a confused look. “It’s *your* memory,” she said, as if that explained everything. Unfortunately... it did.

“Tamzen, I thought when you were going through memories they were like watching a tv screen or something.  I didn’t know you actually *experienced* them from the person's point of view.  Wait… does that mean you get *everything*.  Like... their thoughts a-and feelings too?  Oh gods did you experience my pain, is that why you were moving the way you did?”

“Xander…” she said soothingly, gently squeezing his hand.

Xander gave her a stern look from his bed.  His voice was still gentle, but a bit of an edge had creeped into it.  “Tamzen, please, just be honest with me, I need to know.  Did you experience *everything* that happened in that moment?  Is that how this works for you?”

“I don’t know!” She saw his expression, and held up her hand again. “I mean it - I can’t know for sure, because I wasn’t… you… when it was happening to you.” She sighed. “But yes… that’s how this works. I think.” She gave him a pained look. “It’s never been quite so intense - I don’t know if it’s because I was physically in contact with you, or if it’s because you are important to me, or if it’s just because I’ve never tried to access this kind of memory before, but… yes, I felt at least *some* of your pain.”

Xander’s stern look melted away into deep concern.  “That… that must’ve been awful love.  I’m so sorry you had to… *feel* any of that.  I… I just hope we can track down that jacket to make it worthwhile.”  He involuntarily yawned a bit.

“It can’t possibly have been worse than living through it…” She murmured, lifting his hand to her lips and pressed her lips across the back of it. Gently, she lowered it back down to the bed. “But I survived it, and so did you, thank all. But now you need to rest, so your body can heal. I’ll warn the others.”

He felt the surge of drowsiness begin rushing over his body.  As his eyes fluttered a bit he smiled at her.  “Good, I’ll leave it to you all then… I’ll apologize to them later for being out of commission for what’s to come.  Oh, and if you would,” he yawned again letting his head rest back into his pillow, “Tell them to kick some serious ass for me.  I wish I could be there to talk them down from the course they’ll be setting.  However, I know given my condition my words would be unlikely to change their minds.”  His eyes closed and he let out a content but worried sigh.  “I love you Tamzen… please stay safe while I’m…”  With that he passed out, his chest beginning to rise and fall evenly once more.

Tamzen sat quietly by his bedside, still holding his hand and listening to the sound of his breathing intermingle with the beeps and whirrs of the monitors and other machinery. Some time passed, in her exhaustion, she wasn’t sure how much, but the sky outside was long dark when the night nurse knocked quietly on the door and crept in to check his vitals. Giving the nurse a polite nod, Tamzen stood up and left to go get a breath of fresh air...