Fighting Trousers

***Fighting Trousers*** is a song by Professor Elemental and the third track on the 2009 album The Indifference Engine. It was also released as a single for the album. The song is a diss track targeting Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer.

### Song Facts

Fighting Trousers (single)
 Year
 Run Time

The track was re-released on the 10th Anniversary Edition of *The Indifference Engine.* The liner notes describe the song as follows:

*"Soon after releasing 'Cup of Brown Joy' I became aware of another rapper, going by the name of 'Mr B, Gentlemen (sic) Rhymer'. He also rapped in character and had started at a similar time to me in the same town. At a time, I was still very firmly involved with the Brighton Hip Hop scene and was encouraged by friends to battle Mr B in the time-honored tradition of rap music. I did a spot of research (finding out that he was in the 90's rap crew 'Collapsed Lung' who's (sic) song had once featured on an advert for coke (sic)) and thought it might be a lark to write a dis song, while at the same time aiming to parody the dis tunes in HipHop I've loved over the years (the chorus of 'Fighting Trousers' is a salute to the classic Nas track 'Ether'). Moog agreed to do the video and we sent it out into the world. To say that it blew up would be an understatement, plus it gave us both great publicity, raising the profile of our tiny musical genre. Of course, being the lovely person, he is, Jim (Mr B) got in touch and we went for a drink soon after it's (sic) release - settling our differences almost immediately. The guilt that I feel about making a significant portion of my career out of dissing someone I now consider a close friend is balanced out slightly by the amount it raised our profiles when the clash first hit the scene. We settled our differences once and for all on 'The Duel' on the 'Father of Invention' album - a track which I created specifically to balance the books. It doesn't stop people wanting to watch us battle it out on stage though, nearly a decade later."*

## Single

*Fighting* *Trousers* was posted on Bandcamp as a single on 9 November 2010 with three additional tracks:

*All compositions by Paul Alborough and Tom Caruana except as indicated*

1. "Fighting Trousers" - 3:03
2. "Fighting Trousers" (Mr Simmonds remix) - 2:57
3. "Fighting Trousers" (Instrumental) - 3:03
4. "Fighting Trousers" (Acapella) - 2:52

## Lyrics

Ah, Geoffrey, what's that you have in your hand, boy?
Pass it over. A telegram. Seems someone has been biting me...
Fetch me my trousers at once!
No, not those, those are my Time Travel Trousers.
Those are my Tea Trousers...
That's it! Those ones, my Fighting Trousers!
(verse 1)
Dear Sir, regarding your recent foray
Into the rap business and the scene you portray
See I don't normally approve of war games
But "He's biting you" is what they all say
And by Harry, they might be right--
This is hip hop, not an Elvis night!
Shelve this Professor impersonation
Let it end now, it's impertinent waiting!
You seem a reasonable chap, what you need to do is rap
But not parody chap hop
Cause that's not proper, just not cricket!
Put away your ukulele or I'll tell where to stick it!

(hook)
I - Don't like your tweed, sir!
Will - Teach you the professor's ready!
Not - Let's see who strikes the loudest!
Lose - Put on my fighting trousers!

(verse 2)
I've got super producers and fans that play me
You've got a granddad's mustache and a ukulele
Don't look around sir, I'm speaking to you
Roll up your shirt sleeves, Queensbury rules
Never test professors with the cleverest wits
Let's settle this like gentlemen: armed with heavy sticks
On a rotating plate, with spikes like Flash Gordon
And you're Peter Duncan; I gave you fair warning
When this George Formby clone is performing
Audiences go home before he begins talking
A new career might be more rewarding
I'm a bright Brighton peer, you're rap's Piers Morgan

(hook)

(verse 3)
I'm not seeing you at ciphers or workshops with kids or gigs
Dear sir, you're not worthy of this!
Sold out to Coca-Cola
Used for a trend
And that means you're banned
From using a pen
Hope it's safe to assume you won't do this again
Set foot on my stage and get ruined again
Be out, Mr. B, I've set the egg timer
There's not room in town for two gentlemen rhymers
Leave town by the end of this instrumental
Yours, et cetera, et cetera, sincerely, and so forth
Professor Elemental

## Music Video

A video was directed by Moog and posted to YouTube on 8 November 2010. The video is themed around a boxing match as an extension of the beef between Professor Elemental and Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer.

### Credits

 "Looking Delicious"
 Producer

## Track Production

### Credits

Note: the video credits to vocal to Elemental though the track is listed among the Professor Elemental releases.

## Remixes and Other Versions

More Tea?
 Acapella |  | Fighting Trousers (single)
 Instrumental |  | Fighting Trousers (single)
The Indifference Engine: 10th Anniversary Edition
 Remix |  | The Indifference Engine: 10th Anniversary Edition
 Remix Instrumental |  | The Indifference Engine: 10th Anniversary Edition

## Trivia

* Peter Duncan was a presenter of the children's programme Blue Peter who had a brief cameo in the 1980 film Flash Gordon. His cameo lasted only minutes until his character's painful demise.
* The reference to George Formby comes from his propensity to play the ukulele during his performances