Cogs.Ink/Manager Profiles

When signing in as one of the 16 managers added in the v1.3.0 update the viewer can choose to "view profile" and reveal additional information about the manager. If the user is logged in as Jennifer they can still access these profiles by opening the Employee List and clicking view profile by the managers name. With the addition of the High Roller the user must be logged into his account to view his profile.

These profiles were used to help find and discover information for the v1.3.0 ARG, therefore some entries may be formatted/written in certain ways.

## Deep Diver

 Name
 Suit Name
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
 Personal Statement

 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
 Interviewer Notes
* "She like, immediately dove into why she applied here. She's so enthusiastic! Totally dedicated to making a difference."

Qualifications
* "Seems to be like, super passionate and devoted to her job. Obviously cares about what she devotes her time to."
* "Her tenacity for stopping Toons is SO promising. She's even like, already familiar with Toons and their annoying habits?  It totally gives her the upper hand."

Closing Remarks
* "Even though she's kind of intimidating, she's actually like, a totally down-to-earth Suit."
* "She tends to get a bit off-topic. Literally won't stop talking about the ocean if given the chance."
* "However, she's SO confident, I totally love that!"

## Gatekeeper

 Name
 Suit Name
 Position
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
 Personal Statement

* Quality Assurance Manager at Bards and Nobles for 2 years
* Head Inspector at Loch and Key for 6 months
 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
* Has a history of arguments with Ms. Mary Anna due to opposing ideologies and priorities. Will require a third party to facilitate interactions between departments and avoid delays.
* Keep separated from Mr. Prester Virgil due to mutual hostility.
 Interviewer Notes
* "I'm supposed to be the interviewer and SHE'S the one criticizing MY crooked tie. Oh My Cog, I'm so embarrassed."
* "I've never heard an accent like hers before.  It sounds so regal!

Qualifications
* "Totally has an eye for company image. Perfect for maintaining our reputation."
* "Doesn't make exceptions; her reputation for quality is like, phenomenal."

Closing Remarks
* "Perfect for her position... as long as we live up to her expectations. She totally has the potential to shape up some of our weaker departments."

## Bellringer

 Name
 Suit Name
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
* Repeatedly caught not fulfilling his duties by getting distracted and talking to coworkers - primarily secretaries.
* Has been issued verbal warnings as a result.
* It is noted for the record that these instances of conversation frequently led to important information being shared regarding other employees.

Robot Resources Complaint, 6 mo ago
* Concerns were brought up over Mr. Biggs' tendency to spread rumors–even if they are all true–and his tendency to talk over others.
* Brought in for a talk regarding behavior where he promised it would not be a problem going forward.
* No official warning issued.

Property Theft, 7 mo ago
* Found rummaging through the mailbox of the Toons' lighthouse for Cog memos.
 Personal Statement

* Specified that his "official" job was customer service, but that he specialized in gathering sensitive information on high-end clients.
* Left to further pursue career at C.O.G.S. Inc. having felt he was outgrowing his previous position.
* Previous position has proven very helpful in regard to information on C.O.G.S. Inc.'s competitors.
 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
 Interviewer Notes
* "Oh. My. COG. This guy is SOOO fun to talk to! Did you know that Mr. Oilcan has a-- ehem. Anyways, moving on!"
* "He seems to have a pretty interesting past, wonder why he decided to come to us of all things? Not that I'm complaining!""

Qualifications
* "Really REALLY good at his job. Eyes and... uh, ears? Open at AAALL times. He's like... a mini private investigator, you know?"
* "He's really perceptive... like, almost scarily so? He knew things about me even I didn't know, and we just met! I think?"

Closing Remarks
* "We ended up getting side tracked seeeeeveral times during the interview, definitely took way longer than intended. He talks A LOT. Even more than Janet."
* "Would be a really good fit, no doubt about it, and I'm NOT just saying that to get help getting dirt on people."

## Prethinker

 Name
 Suit Name
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
* Attempted to bulk buy low-level Toon Gags using company funds in an attempt to deplete Toons of their resources.

Insubordination, 4 mo. ago:
* Refused to brew a pot of cogfee for S.V.P. Bravecog, claiming he "definitely did not need any more energy, 'cause the free fall would perk him right up."
* Was written up as a result.

Damage to company property:
* Damaged Mr. Buck Ruffler while attempting regularly scheduled tune-up.
 Personal Statement

 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
* Best left to own devices.  Entertain him with some lower rank suits and he will be neutralized as a problem for the company, and should let his wits shine.
 Interviewer Notes
* "Motherboard of mercy this guy is irritating."

Qualifications
* "He has 50,000 creddit karma, I have never heard of a credit score that high."
* "He knows so many cool facts about my favorite movie, Gearloose!"

Closing Remarks
* "Don't judge a book by its cover, but boy does this guy have a lot of filler chapters."

## Multislacker

 Name
 Suit Name
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
* Caught using vital surveillance camera monitors to watch cable television during work hours.
* Verbal warning was issued by S.V.P. Bravecog. S.V.P. Bravecog apologized to Management and assured he would immediately cease payments to the cable provider to prevent a repeat occurrence.

Shirking, 5 wk. ago:
* Did not show up for work for 3 consecutive days. When questioned, claimed it was because he "just didn't feel like it".
* Verbal warning was issued by S.V.P. Bravecog. S.V.P. Bravecog apologized to Management and assured he would make efforts to motivate him and avoid a repeat of the issue.

Insubordination, 7 wk. ago:
* Caused conflict with Mr. Graham Payser, was challenged to a race down Twilight Terrace. Mr. Bravecog Jr. is noted as having won only because of Mr. Payser bragging.
* Mr. Graham Payser was noted for being particularly upset by Mr Bravecog Jr.'s violation of "the Payser Test."

Loafing around, 2 mo. ago:
* Seen sitting at the bottom of the Sellbot Towers stairwell throughout the full work day, complaining that the workplace elevator was nonoperational.
* S.V.P. Bravecog escorted him to his office, and issued a verbal warning. S.V.P. Bravecog assured Management he would "take the steps" to ensure he would not be held back by the issue again.

Dozing on the job, 3 mo. ago:
* Reported asleep in the Sellbot Towers breakroom during work hours.
 Personal Statement

* Assisted in carrying a new rug to Chmn. Robert Cyger's office, after his previous one was "liberated" by an unhinged former employee.
* Relieved of duty when the rug was properly instituted.

Coffee Presenter at C.O.G.S. Inc for 2 minutes
* Delivered a fresh cup of cogfee to S.V.P. Bravecog, albeit after it had already been prepared and brought to his office by a local service Goon.
* Stepped down from his position upon determining that the 45 second commute to cross the S.V.P.'s office was too inconvenient to undertake on a daily basis.

Shelf Stacker at C.O.G.S. Inc. for 0.6 minutes
* Replaced a fallen magazine from the Sellbot Towers breakroom shelf.
* Comfortably retired on the breakroom sofa, with a clear conscience that no fellow workmates would slip on any misplaced objects that day.
 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
* Mr. Graham Payser is known to get competitive around him, keep separated in order to ensure Mr. Bravecog's productivity is not (further) affected.
 Interviewer Notes
* "First off, totally didn't know that Allan had a son! I can see it now. Yeah, they've definitely got the same eyes."
* "He's a bit slow, though looks like he at least came prepared.""

Qualifications
* "He brought an entire stack of these SUPER detailed notecards, and they all look totally amazing!"
* "According to his notes, he's extremely smart and responsible and already knows the ins and outs of C.O.G.S. like the back of his head!"

Closing Remarks
* "Super impressed by his notecards! He's probably one of the most ideal hires for this company."

## Pacesetter

 Name
 Suit Name
 Position
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
* Multiple instances of running 90 over the vehicle speed limit
* Fined for each ticket

Several Instances of Property Damage, 1 mo. ago (latest)
* Chucking packages
at
 through windows and doors
* Fined $300 - 1 Cogbucks to pay the property damage

Slacking off within Toon Residence, 2 mo. ago
* Caught slacking off at residence "Used Firewood"
 Personal Statement

 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
* Was referred by Mr. Flint Bonpyre.
 Interviewer Notes
* "He is soooooo charming. I couldn't help myself but stare the whole time."

Qualifications
* "The way he talks? Gorgeous!"
* "His eyes are so pretty, like, how could you not get lost in them?"
* "He is so quick too! He could totally save me from some like, burning building."

Closing Remarks
* "I really hope he isn't taken by his reply to me. He is the most breathtaking Suit I have ever met!"

## Duck Shuffler

 Name
 Suit Name
 Position
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
* Provided with a budget to utilize for developing his projects in the Central, within three days it was gambled away.

\*\*RECORD UPDATE\*\* (3 mo. 3 wk. ago):
* Gambling of the money resulted in the project's budget doubling. Further viability of this is being researched.

Property Theft, 1 week ago:
 Personal Statement

 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes

Mr. Brian is responsible for notable damage to Mr. Ruffler's internal system (see attachment).
* Due to budget cuts, the company was unable to pay for repairs.
* Do not allow Mr. Brian anywhere near Mr. Ruffler.

Attachment: Transcript of Duck Shuffler's Vocalizations after urgent repairs

```
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```

* "This guy was like 7 minutes late to the meeting, totally unorganized! Didn't even like, do his hair before the interview. What a loser"

Qualifications
* "Knows like ALL about trading and risk taking. Could totally make for like some sort of stockkeeper."

Closing Remarks
* "Disorderly, and like alllll over the place during the interview. He's good at what he does though, I guess. Smells kinda like pineapple"

## Treekiller

 Name
 Suit Name
 Position
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
* Has received multiple warnings for rude behavior towards coworkers and lower-ranks, particularly Flunkies.
* When called in, however, he claims he was "just jokin'!"
 Personal Statement

* Specialized in clearing land to make way for new developments to be built.
* C.O.G.S. Inc. has worked with this company several times in the past in order to clear land for buildings and Headquarters.
 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
* Anti-Nature disposition will lend well to the deforestation of the Woodchip & Paper District.
* Works exceptionally well with Mr. Chip Revvington.
 Interviewer Notes
* "Talks super loud all the time, he's going to give me a headache!"
* "When he told me he was a lumberjack I expected, like... a charming bearded suit in flannel, not... this? He's rude and NOT charming at all.""

Qualifications
* "Totally hates nature. The company likes him, so he must be good at what he does."
* "I guess he was like one of the best of the best at his last job. Was EVERYONE there as... eccentric as him?"

Closing Remarks
* "Took, like, a HUGE bite out of my desk! He said it was to "show off his logging skills" or whatever, but where am I supposed to keep my sparkling water now?"
* "Ugh, yeah I guess he'll be fine for what we need him for since he's worked with us before, but he does NOT fit into an office environment."

## Plutocrat

 Name
 Suit Name
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
 Personal Statement

 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
* Requisitioned for personal assistants. Provided strong references for five selected individuals. Request granted.
* Does not appear to work well alongside Mr. Flint Bonpyre due to conflict between Mr. Bonpyre and Mr. Kuiper's assistants.
 Interviewer Notes
* "WAY louder than expected for someone so small."
* “He's got this accent that makes him hard to understand sometimes."

Qualifications
* "Notes from his previous job regarded him as 'unusually effective in securing clients.' Clearly a model employee!"
* "Appears to be good at 'delegation,' will earmark his as a potential future manager."

Closing Remarks
* "He said he would 'persuade' me to hire him. I'd say he was successful!"

## Mouthpiece

 Name
 Suit Name
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
 Personal Statement

* Served as an operator since the inception of the company.
 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
 Interviewer Notes
* "She brought a whole plate of cookies and offered them to me, which seemed kinda like bribery, but the cookies were really good so like, no complaints here!"
* "But then she spent the next forty minutes showing me pictures of her grandchildren from her purse. They're all black and white, with antique frames and everything!"

Qualifications
* "She stopped the interview and made me a scarf in fifteen minutes to show how quick she can knit. No clue what it's got to do with the job, but it's kinda neat, I guess."
* "Apparently she's actually amazing at brawling? Totally didn't see that one coming!"

Closing Remarks
* "Not gonna miss her long-winded stories of the past, but I will miss those cookies. I'll have to call her and get that recipe later."

## Rainmaker

 Name
 Suit Name
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
* Mr. Boar has filed several reports, each accusing Ms. Monsoon of disrupting his workplace and disturbing his duties.
 Personal Statement

 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
 Interviewer Notes
* "Wow, what is with her HAIR? She looks like she crawled out of a storm drain!"
* "She looks totally nervous, but she actually seems pretty chatty. Maybe she won't be as much of a drag as I thought."

Qualifications
* "She, like, doesn't have any experience in managing! Can't tell if she's super cocky, or just kinda an airhead."
* "Wait... she can control weather?!"
* "But her attitude's totally all over the place! She's definitely got some weird rain-y powers, but it's a stretch to say she can "control" it."

Closing Remarks
* "Can't say she's hit the mark, but those cloud-seeding powers are really gonna catch Robert's eye. He'll find something useful for her to do. Y'know, probably."

## Witch Hunter

 Name
 Suit Name
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
* Disrespectful conduct towards C.L.O. Morsecode.
* Given a verbal warning.

Notably risky behavior around entrances within Toon territory, 1 mo. ago
 Personal Statement

 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
 Interviewer Notes
* "He asked about having a secretary? I'm not sure he totally understands the nature of the job he's applying for, but that can be worked out at a later date."
* “He used a lot of big words that I don't entirely understand."

Qualifications
* "He's waaaay overqualified for this position, to be honest."
* “Extremely dedicated. Like, I can't get him to shut up about it!"
* “Ms. Morsecode was very adamant that he be hired for this position. I'm surprised she doesn't want him to be in more of an executive position–he'd be qualified for it."

Closing Remarks
* "He's REALLY hoity toity and full of himself, but he'll probably do just fine."

## Firestarter

 Name
 Suit Name
 Position
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
* Caught giving special flags to thermo-insulating sea creatures within the cold waters.
* When asked for an explanation, stated that he was requested to be given "the cold shoulder, and sleep with the Moon Fishes" on behalf of Mr. Cosmo Kuiper.

Damage to company property, 4 mo. ago
* Accidentally set curtains on fire, tried to PUT /out
the
 /fire and made it worse. Then started crying.
 Personal Statement

 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
* Recommended Mr. Graham Payser for a similar position.
 Interviewer Notes
* "Uh, he's very quiet and nervous? Like he doesn't know what he's doing."
* "He almost set my plant on fire."

Qualifications
* "Proficient in handling fires–especially setting them."
* "Easy and friendly to work with, especially since he, like, doesn't talk back."

Closing Remarks
* "Good for the job, though he may need to come out of that shy shell some more to perform at his best."

## Featherbedder

 Name
 Suit Name
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
* Notoriously late to meetings by 5-10 minutes due to repeated alarm snoozing.
 Personal Statement

 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
 Interviewer Notes
* "Um, do they realize the interview started?  They haven't said anything since I sat down."
* "I think they fell asleep while I was getting their paperwork. They sound exhausted."

Qualifications
* "There would be, like, so much more room in my schedule if they were in charge of mine."
* "Totally unexpected, but they actually meet project deadlines regularly.  They said they're good at delegation."

Closing Remarks
* "Talks slow, makes me yawn, and could REALLY use a cup of cogfee before their shift, but they're efficient in managerial positions."

## Major Player

 Name
 Suit Name
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
Gross in-ordinance, 2 mo. ago
* During a meeting discussing development plans, Mr. BruBot preformed a musical number during his presentation.

Insubordination, 1 mo. ago
 Personal Statement

 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
* When asked for a second reference, Mr. BruBot provided his own contact information.
* The company has had difficulty contacting him in the past. Further difficulties may lead to disciplinary action.
 Interviewer Notes
* "WAY annoying to schedule the interview with."
* "Wearing sunglasses inside? Is he blind or something?"

Qualifications
* "Really good at keeping, like, the 'rhythm' of the interview."
* "Totally never misses a beat."

Closing Remarks
* "Kinda like...talks funny. Seems to be all like passionate or something about what he does. Gave me his signature, not sure why.."

## Chainsaw Consultant

 Name
 Suit Name
 Position
 Date of Hire
 Hiring Manager
 Disciplinary Records
 Personal Statement

* S.C.R.E.W.
* B.E.L.T.
* C.R.A.N.K.
 Strengths
 Weaknesses
 Additional Notes
* Chainsaw apparatus will be helpful in preparing the Woodchip & Paper District for resource acquisition.
* He'll be onboarded into the position of regional manager once the necessary modifications are finished.UPDATE (2 WEEKS AGO): Modification was only partially successful. Onboarding will continue as scheduled.
* Close friends with Mr. Spruce Campbell, who recommended him highly for the position.
 Interviewer Notes
* "I'm afraid to get too close to his face! He's, like, got a giant saw protruding from it."
* "Refused to take off his hat... even though I asked him like five times."

Qualifications
* "I've heard that previous clients have spoken positively about him."
* "Appears to be very detail-oriented and strongly prefers quiet places. He'll love working for Robert!"

Closing Remarks
* "With that chainsaw apparatus, he'll be a great candidate for the position. Well, y'know, so long as he doesn't scare off his co-workers..."
* "He INSISTED that we get him a room with minimal external noise. Will investigate potential non-suit facilities in the Woodchip & Paper District."

## Trivia

* The Mouthpiece is the most recent hire with her date of hire being 1 month ago.
* The Deep Diver and the Gatekeeper worked at the same company previously.
* The Prethinker and the Plutocrat are the only manager with redacted information.
* The Multislacker's personal statement is likely written by the Senior Vice President, his dad.
* The Multislacker is the only newly hired manager that has been previously hired at C.O.G.S Inc.
* The Chainsaw Consultant is the longest working hire of the 16 new regional managers.
* The Witch Hunter and the Chainsaw Consultant have worked at the same company S.C.R.E.W..
* The Pacesetter and the Firestarter seem to have known each other prior to working at C.O.G.S. Inc..
* The Prethinker's profile picture includes the ridges of his brain, however, his in game model has it covered with glass.