Chapter 67: I Can't Look In Her Eyes

**I Can't Look In Her Eyes** is the sixty-seventh Chapter of *Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu*.

## Summary

In class, Oota is pulling a magazine out of his bag, telling the boys to look at it, and an excited Adachi grabs for it, thinking it is pornography. He is disappointed to see it's a generic idol magazine, but Oota shows that Yamada is featured inside. The four boys go over her pictures, and Ichikawa compares them to her usual modeling photos. After some back and forth, Adachi brings up the possibility of her doing a swimsuit shoot, and the possibility of relationship bans if she became an actual idol. Ichikawa brings up her doing other kinds of activities, like acting, and Adachi refers to her appearance in Columbus Academy, bringing up how he believes it to be a sleazeball production full of perverted teenagers and a cheating MC, and how orgies have to be taking place there, which angers Ichikawa. Oota tells him to calm down, and to stop reading tabloids like Bunshuu Online, and asks why he gets excited at that prospect, since he likes Yamada. Adachi counters saying he'd want her to do porn, because then everyone could get something out of it. At about that time, the girls walk in, and they quiet down, with Adachi leaning over to Ichikawa to tell him not to say anything, and Yamada taking notice.

After school, Yamada asks what he was talking with Adachi and the others about. He deflects, obviously not wanting her to know, and asks why it matters. She guesses it's a kind of male modeling, and he begs for forgiveness in his head. This does make him question if it's okay for him to talk about her modeling work in any capacity, and weighs over the fact that she brought up her movie gig, but that she may not want to talk about her appearances in a magazine intended for boys, even if it wasn't explicit. She suddenly sees the magazine she modeled in and grabs it, bringing his attention to it. She turns to her portion, playing it up for everything she can, and shows it to him, but he plays a prank, ignoring her and taking the magazine to search for his horoscope. She takes it back from him, and talks about how she was nervous because this was different from any of her previous work. She becomes flustered, and puts the magazine back, but he lifts it back from the rack, saying that in his mind, she's on top form like always. He tries to give her compliments while dancing around the fact that he's familiar with her work, saying she is the Yamada he is familiar with. She concludes that the Yamada that Ichikawa knows is her in her best condition, and is happy with his assessment. She buys the magazine, and they continue their walk. He frets over how there is a world of Yamada's that he knows nothing about in modeling and acting, and she opens the magazine, asking him which is his favorite. He awkwardly offers that he can't just pick one, and she happily exclaims that he must like all of them, which he calls a positive outlook. He adds that they do feel different from when she was in a fashion magazine, and she questions that he knows about it. Realizing his mistake, he becomes unnerved, and tries to make up an excuse about how his sister bought the magazine. She changes topics to all the different ways it was handled compared to a usual shoot, and he says she must really like her job, which she affirms with a warm smile. He averts his eyes, thinking to himself how long it had been since he hadn't been able to look at the brightness of Yamada's smile against the setting sun.

In class the next day, Ichikawa walks in finding Adachi talking about a dream he had in which Yamada was tricked into doing an explicit video. He wonders if he'd be better off learning from such an idiot.

* A bonus page are Yamada lying on her back after eating the Melty Kiss chocolate and exercising from the previous Extra.

* Another bonus is Yamada sitting down and wrapping her legs around a falling Ichikawa, in celebration of making first place in the 4th Annual "I Want This Manga Animated" Awards.

* A follow-up to the previous image, Ichikawa is still mid-fall, but manages to catch himself and do a flip rather than fall on top of her. He is at peace, but Yamada appears disappointed.

* Yamada and Ichikawa lean up against a tree, enjoying the falling blossoms.

* An image of Yamada as an angel and Ichikawa a sheep, with her holding his head in her lap as they lie in the clouds, in celebration of his out-of-universe birthday on March 26th.

## Trivia

The title page of Yamada doing a peace sign in advertisement for her photoshoot is liked by Miku Yuzaki, a fellow model and the girl who sat next to her during the Columbus Academy filming.