Her and I

**Her and I** is a tale in *The Demon's Light*, taking place between "Carpe Diem" and "Primo Victoria."

## Narrative

Your name is Steven Devlin. You are in your room, reviewing a paper on the subject of the Demon's Light. The last few hours were particularly stressful.

The damn coffee machine broke again. You've been meaning to buy a replacement, but it keeps slipping your mind. Instead, you chose to repair the accused machine. Maybe this time it would be different. Somehow, miraculously, you would wake up in a week and make your morning coffee without issue.

But your hope is in vain.

You think of the insignia of the Nuyo-Dyavol Coalition: a dragon consuming its own tail. It represents the eternal fight against injustice. Vritra was killed by the Coalition's predecessor body, yet the insidious culture he had perpetuated remained.

However, there was much discussion about whether the symbol unintentionally embodied something far less noble. The war has plagued your world for three centuries. There were periods of calm, yet inevitably this conflict would flare back up.

This sort of symbology, you muse, could also apply to your relationship with the coffee maker. It would be fixed, work fine for a few days, then it would break again.

Besides the insight you had gained into the eternal conflict between man and machine, you and your friends had agreed to assist John Fontaine. You still are not sure what you think about the arrangement. So you are not thinking about it.

You return your attention to the paper. The section you are perusing at the moment is an abbreviated summary of the religious significance of the object. The primary author has credited Lewis Johnson as a co-writer for this segment, as well as yourself for "additional contributions." Those contributions were making some suggestions for sources that went unused in the final product. You assumed you would ask the author why she had included your name when you saw her next.

You see her next much sooner than you were expecting. You are still only a few pages into her research paper when you hear a light rapping on your door. You open it to find the author: Beth Darwin, your girlfriend. Instead of bringing up the aforementioned query you begin with:

"Hey. Shouldn't you be home?"

She looks concerned. "I came to see you."

You smile. "Thanks. Really."

"We haven't talked in a while." She does not return your expression. "Have you been getting my calls?"

You avoid her gaze. "Yeah, I have. I've been so busy lately. Hard to find time."

"Well, you don't seem very busy right now."

"I'm not." You admit.

"Then come over to my place for the night. We'll do some catching up."

"Why can't we stay here?" You ask.

"The walls here are pretty thin." She gives you a knowing smirk. "I don't want anyone overhearing our private conversations."

You are sure no one in an adjacent room has any interest in eavesdropping on them. These were all close friends and family, after all. None of them would dare disregard their privacy so fragrantly. Of course, the way she said "private conversations" implied by her phrasing was less than literal. You are well aware of what she meant. That is enough to alleviate any remaining concerns about going to her place for the night.

"Alright," you reply. "Let's catch up."

"I was reading your paper when you showed up." You say on the ride over to her house.

"Are you working on a related project or something?"

"No, I was reading it because it's, uh, interesting. Really fascinating stuff."

Beth snorts. "You were reading a highly dense meta-analysis on a barely understood celestial phenomenon for fun?" She asks, incredulous.

"Yeah, I guess." You say. "Anything can sound stupid with the right phrasing."

"You're such a dork."

You roll your eyes. "There was a reason I brought it up besides allowing you to use playground insults."

"Which was...?"

You do not answer immediately. "It doesn't matter."

"It concerns my research paper, Steven."

"Yeah, but it's stupid. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Steven, relax." She glances at you quickly before returning her attention to the road. "I'm glad to be talking to you at all. You've been so distant lately."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize. You're doing important work. Whatever it is."

You ponder how little Beth knows of your work compared to the keen interest which you've taken in hers. She could say she understood, but this was hollow. You wish you could be honest with what you were doing. But Uncle Richard was clear this would not happen.

"The mythology section." At the very least, you could be honest regarding that. "You put my name on it even though I didn't contribute."

"Oh." Beth looks embarrassed. "Well, we talked about it a lot. I thought you'd be involved in the writing process and never took your name off it."

"Makes sense."

"I'll get it taken out as soon as I can."

"You don't have to."

"I do. I want to give proper credit. Plus, it's a pretty bad look to have my boyfriend's name on a paper he wasn't involved with."

"Won't removing my name look like concealing evidence of nepotism?"

"It'll be on record as an honest mistake."

When the door closes behind her, you nearly tackle Beth into a hug. Her eyes widened in surprise for only a second before relaxing. Her lips curl into a smile as she returns the embrace. You run a gentle hand through her delicate auburn hair.

"It's been too long," Beth says.

"It has," you respond. "But we're here now. Let's make the most of it."

She nods and pulls you into a passionate kiss. This goes on for some time, yet when your lips part you somehow still feel like it has not been long enough. There are pitifully few people who understand you the way Beth does. You *are* a dork, you concede. This is neither something to be appreciated nor deserving of overmuch scorn. That she can communicate this in a manner that favors neither opinion is part of why you are hers.

You are such a dork you plan to convey this revelation to her in speech. Although, you are not lame enough to do so now. Instead, you finally end the hug.

Beth walks over to her couch and sits down on the right cushion. You join her on the left. This couch is not spacious, not that either of you minds.

"Steven," she says, suddenly serious. "Do you mind if we talk real quick?"

"Uh, sure," you respond. "What is it?"

"You," she answers. "You need to take some time off. Days off, I mean. It seems like you spend every day working and then crash. "

You grimace. This is also part of the unwavering honesty that you love. At the moment, "love" feels too strong a word for this context. "Appreciate" might be more accurate, you think.

If she knew what you did, she would understand the necessity of your actions. You could trust her to keep it quiet. "Beth, what we're doing could turn the tide of the war. We need to—" You manage to stop yourself before you can say something you would definitely regret. At the very least, Uncle Richard would never let you hear the end of it.

"That's big picture stuff. You also need to consider your own well-being." Beth rubs her temples. "Try and call more often. Make time for us if you can."

"I will," you take her hand. "I promise."

"Thank you." She grins. "Let's get back to it."

You are still on her couch with her. Some time has passed. Enough for you to reconsider. You can't keep this from her any longer. Not with what it has made her think of you.

"...So, you know what Uncle Richard was working on?" you say. "The whole thing with the military guys at the lab?"

"I don't need to," she replies.

"You do," you insist.

Beth looks at you quizzically. "Are you sure Richard would approve of my knowing?"

"Absolutely not," you snicker. "But you should, with everything you've done for me."

"Well, I can't say I'm not at least a little curious." She considers how to proceed carefully before continuing. "Alright. Tell me what you're working on."