Greetings from Fire Island - Chapter One

> "*Oh my god. Where've you been. I just had this wacky crazy adventure.*"
> ― Fraya Love
>
>

**Greetings from Fire Island - Chapter One: "Capsized Queens!"** is the tenth episode of Queens of Adventure, and the start of the Siege of the Kracken story line. It was the first episode produced under the Kickstarter campaign. In it, the four queens wake up, scattered across Fire Island.

## Synopsis

A wooden ship is tossed on the violent waves amidst an ocean storm. On board are four adventures: Harlotte O'Scara, Butylene O'Kipple, Arson Nicki, and Fraya Love.

Enormous tentacles pull the ship towards a massive mouth. The queens are tossed into the darkness of the sea.

Ten days later...

Seabirds with iridescent wings circle a ring of volcanic islands far out to sea. They soar over various settlements. This is Fire Island.

#### Harlotte O'Scara

A lone figure, Harlotte O'Scara, has washed ashore. Her clothes have been torn to shreds, and her drag ruined. On her wrist lies a bracelet with a mysterious charm on it. From out of the bushes nearby, a small orange Pomeranian appears. It is identical to one she met at the House of Wunderbred, where she had been forced to perform by Lady Edith Wunderbred, and threw into a firey abyss. Now in the present, the dog runs into the forest and returns with a mango, then heads back into the woods. Harlotte moves through the jungle to follow the dog.

She nearly topples over a man in shimmering purple armor holding an enormous egg. Seeing Harlotte, he wonders why she is so far from the resort. Harlotte calls upon her noble background privilege to intimidate him into escorting her to said resort. He says he has to get the egg, retrieved from a giant weasel, into a nest in a tree across the clearing. As he is injured, he asks her to put the egg back. Harlotte agrees and asks for his name, and for a weapon. He says his name is Ranger Richard, but harming the Glama birds is out of the question. He seems honest, so she takes the egg.

As the ranger does bird calls to distract the bird overhead, Harlotte moves to the nested tree and climbs it with difficulty thanks to the egg, which begins to make noises. Harlotte leaps to the top of the tree where she can see quite a vista:

She is on an island, part of a chain that forms a ring, near a ridge on this largest of the islands. To the west she can see a beach resort. To the east, a glittering fortress with tall towers. Across the water to the north, a twisted mound of rough terrain, with a black glass ziggurat and a crystal spire. Further north is another island covered in strange shapes and flashes of light.

The glama bird has lost interest in Richard and taken to the air before eventually coming to rest on the nest, its back to Harlotte. With a sleight of hand, she slips the egg under the bird. The bird shifts, and knocks Harlotte down, but the rogue swings down safely on a vine. Richard stares in awe. He leads her to a heat vent, where his cape clicks into place as a shimmering glider. Carrying Harlotte, he catches the thermal vent and they take off down the ridge, airborne.

#### Butylene O'Kipple

Far below the heat vent, amidst the lava tubes beneath the surface of the island, Butylene O'Kipple lies in mud. A smear of glitter crosses her mustache. The skirt she used as a flotation device lies discarded nearby. Her alchemy tools and formula book are missing, and she is very thirsty.

She makes her way along a ledge of the lava tube, foraging mushrooms while noticing machine sounds ahead. The passage widens into a chemical equipment filled cave, with tiny devil like creatures hard at work. Nearby in the lava, stone creatures seem to frolic. A devil creature in a bowler approaches, and greets Butylene in infernal, calling her new master. This foreman explains old master left them a while ago with orders to create new lava babies. Butylene plays along, claiming she was sent down by corporate headquarters. She is taken to where another imp is playing secretary. A shelf is lined with alchemy equipment, lab coats, and fireproof gloves, which Butylene puts on, along with some goggles. She lines her pockets with vials of powders.

The imp, when asked, explains the mushrooms are part of their experiments. Butylene, unable to make any formulas, asks for components for bombs. At the workstation she is led to, she finds a torn out page of her formula book, one for her mutagen. The imp foreman says it is from a spellbook their old master found. Butylene takes one of the newly made bombs and blows up the rock blocking a passage out of the chamber.

Telling the imps she is taking her union required lunch break, she departs. Finding a small stream of lava to cross, she does a cartwheel and acrobatic back flip, which proves to be too ambitious. A blast of fire singes her partway, but she makes it to the surface.

#### Arson Nicki

Elsewhere, under the island, an ancient underground city lies silent and abandoned except for Arson Nicki, her clothes torn and makeup unsalvageable. She awakens and recognizes she is in a dark elf city, similar to one she grew up on. The street leads uphill, and she knows that should lead towards an exit. She finds a town square with a statue of Lolth, Queen of the Spiders, Arson's deity. A voice calls out "Look who came back, Arson Nicki, the *artist*."

There is a skittering, and from above comes a dryder. A veil conceals her face and she asks "Where do you think you're going?" Arson draws her pact weapon and casts *eldritch blast* with a wink.

Despite being hit, the dryder climbs the statue of Lolth and shoots Arson with her longbow, doing psychic damage. Arson smiles with her eyes and uses *hellish rebuke,* burning the dryder and nearby cobwebs. The dryder creates a spider silk lasso to swing over to a nearby building before pulling off the veil. Underneath is Arson's face. Again she shoots a psychic damage arrow.

Arson uses her vibrator to blast the base of the statue, which crashes to the ground. When the dust cloud settles, the dryder is gone. Arson makes her way forward and she finds a hot tub, with her patron sitting inside. "Arson, you've disappointed me. The surface doesn't need you. They've forgotten all about you." Arson declares she knows who she is, and doesn't need Samantha's approval to find her friends. Arson walks through her, revealing it is an illusion made of spiders. She finds a grate and a passage leading her towards the surface.

#### Fraya Love

Deep beneath the waves of a lagoon, an underwater city hides in a kelp forest. In one of the buildings, Fraya awakens. A merfolk mystic named Mystie Seaport is tending to her. Fraya realizes she is bald, and looks like a drowned, harassed rat. Mystie asks how Fraya got there, and she isn't completely sure after the seawreck. Mystie heard Fraya sing in her sleep and wonders if she might be a cleric of Cher, because they need someone with divine powers to help them with the undead. They can't offer much help as this isn't their home, they are cut off from home by sea monsters and fierce weather.

Fraya finds new clothes from a nearby wardrobe: a flowy seaweed dress, with an octopus halter top, and also a trident. She asks Mystie for more of her story and the merfolk woman explains they come from a settlement far away but were caught in a storm thanks to the Kracken, and the undead, risen from the drowned by a Kracken Priest, have trapped them here.

Riding on giant seahorses, Fraya and a dozen merfolk head to an area where a dozen seaspawn surround a seacave. A battle ensues, with one of the merfolk begging Fraya to use her powers. A sigil glows on Fraya's breast like an underwater owl as she casts *turn undead*. Warmth flows from the locket around her neck. The seaspawn scramble away and the trapped merfolk escape. Overhead a shark descends. Fraya stays to fight as the merfolk flee towards the city. She *shapes water* to turn the water around the shark black, confusing it. Using the moment of distraction, Fraya hides and gets away.

Finding the merfolk, one of them offers to escort Fraya to the surface. As they travel the few miles, they can see evidence of the seaspawn everywhere.

#### Reunion

As Fraya strides up confidently onto the beach, Harlotte's legs collide with her as she walked through the path of Ranger Richard's landing glider. The duo collect themselves and admire the Ranger's thighs. From a nearby pile of rocks, Butylene appears.

"How many of you are there?" Richard asks. Out of a nearby outhouse, Arson Nicki emerges.

Richard points out the resort. They notice cabanas and beach chairs, but they also see signs of weapons and fortifications. Richard says it has been a bad time for the island, every time high tide comes around.

Down the beach comes a large Flail Snail. Riding it is a woman, scavenging weapons. She looks at the party and waves, asking them who they are. The party introduce themselves, and she says her name is Karin, and a few dozen people have survived the undead attacks and are fortifying themselves at the resort. She invites to take them with her.

On a hillside up above, a Pomeranian watches them, and nods.

### Characters

#### Party

* Arson Nicki - drow warlock
* Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist
* Fraya Love - water genasi cleric
* Harlotte O'Scara - human rogue

#### NPCs

* Kracken
* Pomeranian
* Ranger Richard (debut)
* Imp Foreman (debut)
* Voice in the Underdark (debut)
* Mystie Seaport (debut)
* Karin (debut)

## Episode Notes

### Lore

* Tourists are not allowed to leave their side of Fire Island.
* Glama birds are protected animals. People shouldn't even joke about harming them.
* An unknown entity has been running an alchemical lab under the island. This 'old boss' has Butylene's formula book and left the imps to make more lava babies.
* At high tide, seaspawn attack the island. They are controlled by a Kracken Priest.

### Inspiration Earned

* Butylene - For her description of the bomb she created
* Fraya - Turning water black to distract a shark

### Memorable Quotes

* "I could really go for an omelette right now." - Harlotte O'Scara
* "Is your seafoam outfit covered in seafoam?" - Arson Nicki
* "It's not quite couture." - "It's cou-torn." - DM Matt and Harlotte O'Scara
* "Don't forget to like and subscribe and get a notification every time I make a new spell." - Butylene O'Kipple
* "I look like Harlotte O'Scare on a good day." - Arson Nicki
* "I'm going to envision my favorite kind of porn and work myself up into a sexually frustrated frenzy so that the wand will appear to me in my time of thirsty need." - Arson Nicki
* "You do not come for me unless you're sent for." - Arson Nicki
* "Paris isn't the only city burning tonight." - Arson Nicki
* "I'm hacking at windmills, right now." - Arson Nicki
* "Welcome back to the land of the living." - "Girl, we're underwater." - Mystie Seaport and Fraya Love
* "Eat it. No really, it's an octopus so we're going to have it for dinner later." - Fraya Love
* "I don't go to the bathroom. The bathroom is gone to by me." - Arson Nicki

### References

* Dune
* Everlasting Gobstopper
* Instagram
* America's Next Top Model
* Paris is Burning
* Sasha Velour's "So Emotional" wig reveal
* Don Quixote
* Rhianna
* PhiPhi O'Hara

### Name That Tune

* "I Can See Clearly Now" - Johnny Nash
* "Let's Have a Kiki" - Scissor Sisters (Fraya quotes drowned, harassed rat)
* "Believe" - Cher

## Behind the Queens

* This is the first episode to feature the Queens of Adventure Theme Song, written by Major Scales.
* The opening scene of a crash survivor waking up on an island and seeing a dog right away, is reminiscent of the opening scene of the tv show Lost.
* Fraya makes a reference to eating her octopus bra. In fact, the bra would be eaten about ten episodes later by a wyvern.
* Before the March 2020 renaming of episodes, this was the first episode of Season One. This was the first episode to be funded by the first Kickstarter campaign.

**Greetings From Fire Island**: **Ch1** - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Show Must Go On**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Operation Watersport**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - Ch7 - **Trials**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Ghosts of the Coast**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Devil's Due**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Special**: The Story So Far
**The Beautiful Place**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **A Dance in the Dark**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Drama in the Deep**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **Whispers From the Heart**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Danger Rangers!**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Mist Connections**: Ch1 - Ch2
**Unreleased**
Lost: Camp Crystal Light - Pax West 2018 --  vs the Lizard People
Live Shows: Seattle Style -- Minneapolis Style

**Greetings From Fire Island**: **Ch1** - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Show Must Go On**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Operation Watersport**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - Ch7 - **Trials**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Ghosts of the Coast**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Devil's Due**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Special**: The Story So Far
**The Beautiful Place**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **A Dance in the Dark**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Drama in the Deep**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **Whispers From the Heart**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Danger Rangers!**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Mist Connections**: Ch1 - Ch2
**Unreleased**
Lost: Camp Crystal Light - Pax West 2018 --  vs the Lizard People
Live Shows: Seattle Style -- Minneapolis Style