All of the words in Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator

This is a list of all words in *Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator*, sorted by word category. Characters who are weak to the phrases below are placed in square brackets [ ]. Character specific phrases will be marked with a \* along with the name of that character. Stage specific phrases will also be marked with a \* along with the stage they are in.

## Nouns

* a bucket of vomit \*Nigel H.
* a cheap suit [Shufflebottom, Albert]
* a cheese shop
* a cider-drinking chav \*Shufflebottom
* a cold pasty \*Nigel H.
* a cold sausage without mustard \*Nigel H.
* a cream-faced loon \*Sir Knight
* a dead parrot \* Pet Shop
* a demon's asshole \*Lo Wang
* a duck hunter \*By The Lake
* a frightened schoolboy [Lo Wang]
* a grunting sow [Nigel H.]
* a half-eaten crumpet \*Nigel H.
* a hamster
* a horny little bunny [Postal Dude] \*Lo Wang
* a lazy old codger \*Shufflebottom
* a lumberjack
* a muppet
* a piece of battered cod \*Nigel H.
* a platypus
* a public loo

* a red-arsed baboon
* a ruttish fishmonger \*Sir Knight
* a strange woman lying in a pond
* all of those animals \*Pet Shop
* an alien hamburger \*Serious Sam
* an English pig dog [Nigel H.]
* angry mob
* an ordinary pigsty [H. P. Lovecraft]
* Dagon \*H. P. Lovecraft
* defenseless young men [Lo Wang] \*Mrs Maggie
* elderberries
* fish 'n' chips \*Nigel H.
* homeless man's socks [Shufflebottom, Albert]
* kebab made of your mother \*Postal Dude
* Krotchy The Giant Scrotum \*Postal Dude
* Louisiana swamp-priests [Postal Dude] \* H. P. Lovecraft
* Satan [Postal Dude]
* some bloody minger
* some dirty rag
* some dog
* someone insane
* spam
* Stalin's jockstrap [Grisha]
* that Thing on your doorstep \*H. P. Lovecraft
* the African swallow
* the afterlife \*The Afterlife
* the communists [Grisha, Serious Sam]
* the Cozzers \*Albert
* the Deep Ones \*H. P. Lovecraft
* the Hell's Grannies gang [Postal Dude] \*Mrs Maggie
* the Meaning of Life [H. P. Lovecraft, Serious Sam] \*The Afterlife
* the Nazis [Serious Sam]
* the Queen [Serious Sam]
* the Royal Family [Serious Sam]
* the thing you had for lunch [H. P. Lovecraft] \*Nigel H.
* this bloody pet shop \*Pet Shop
* this conversation [H. P. Lovecraft]
* this lake \*By The Lake
* this liver \*ER
* this parrot \*Pet Shop
* this place
* this poor man \*By The Lake
* this train \*Train Compartmemt
* vodka \*Grisha
* you

* your beloved auntie [Father]
* your country [Grisha]
* your cousin's car
* your face [Nigel H.]
* your father [Father]
* your favourite Bond actor
* your hat [Shufflebottom]
* your house [Albert]
* your hovercraft
* your husband [Father]
* your Kettle \*Albert
* your liver \*ER
* your math teacher
* your mother [Father]
* your pimply arse [H. P. Lovecraft] \*Albert
* your seat \*Train Compartment
* your sense of style [Shufflrebottom]
* your sister [Father]
* your sins [Postal Dude] \*The Afterlife
* your son [Father]
* your wife [Father]

## Verbs

* *[is/are]*
* *[is/are]* afraid of my minigun [Lo Wang] \*Serious Sam
* *[is/are]* an ill-nurtured whey face [Lo Wang, Nigel H.] \*Sir Knight
* *[is/are]* an old bugger [Mrs Maggie]
* *[is/are]* an organ in your abdomen [H. P. Lovecraft] \*ER
* *[is/are]* deceased [Mrs Maggie, Serious Sam]
* *[is/are]* dull and ugly [Nigel H.]
* *[is/are]* feeling a little psychotic this morning [Lo Wang] \*Postal Dude
* *[is/are]* full of eels
* *[is/are]* getting fat [Nigel H.]
* [*is/are]* gonna burst with piss \*Postal Dude
* *[is/are]* interested in photography
* *[is/are]* minging \*Shufflebottom
* *[is/are]* no more [Mrs Maggie]
* *[is/are]* not a part of Europe [Grisha]
* *[is/are]* not interesting [H. P. Lovecraft]
* *[is/are]* not migratory
* *[is/are]* not my creation \*Father
* *[is/are]* not Serious \*Serious Sam
* *[is/are]* old [Mrs Maggie]
* *[is/are]* racist [H. P. Lovecraft, Serious Sam] \*Albert
* *[is/are]* rather plain
* *[is/are]* rude
* *[is/are]* scratched
* *[is/are]* silly
* [*is/are]* sinful [Postal Dude] \*Father
* *[is/are]* stone dead [Mrs Maggie]
* *[is/are]* very naughty
* *[is/are]* vile
* *[is/are]* where you can sit \*Train Compartment
* *[is/are]* worthless [Albert, Lo Wang]
* *[was/were]* born in [Grisha]
* *[was/were]* burnt like a witch [Postal Dude]
* *[was/were]* defeated by [Lo Wang]
* *[was/were]* in jail
* *[was/were]* owned by [Lo Wang] \*Serious Sam
* *[was/were]* teabagged by [Lo Wang] \*Serious Sam
* *[has/have]* a steaming romp with [Postal Dude]
* *[has/have]* an unsightly face [Nigel H.]
* *[has/have]* bad breath [H. P. Lovecraft]
* *[has/have]* bum cancer [H. P. Lovecraft]
* *[has/have]* no life experience [Lo Wang] \*Mrs Maggie
* *[has/have]* not finished puberty [H. P. Lovecraft] \*Mrs Maggie
* *[has/have]* not so much brain as ear wax \*Sir Knight
* *[has/have]* only local multiplayer [Sir Knight]
* *[has/have]* tiny feet
* *[has/have]* worse hair than [Shufflebottom]
* act*(s)* like
* admire*(s)* pictures of
* ate Yul Brynner with \*Albert
* belong*(s)* in one of those cages \*Pet Shop
* bother*(s)* me
* bring*(s)* insults to a sword fight
* can be found in Pokémon GO [Sir Knight]
* can lick my lead \*Serious Sam
* can not buy a Stairway to Heaven [Albert] \*Father
* can't dance
* can't exercise because of [Nigel H.]
* can't hold liquor [H. P. Lovecraft] \*Grisha
* can't tie a tie [Shufflebottom]
* change*(s)* into
* dance*(s)* like
* died because of \*The Afterlife
* do*(es)*n't like
* do*(es)*n't own a colour telly [Sir Knight, Albert]
* donated organs for \*ER
* drunk with \*Grisha
* eat*(s)* only non-gluten lembas \*Nigel H.
* enjoyed Batman v Superman [Sir Knight]
* fart*(s)* in your general direction
* farted on
* found a new application for a cat's butt \*Postal Dude
* give*(s)* a butcher's hook at \*Albert
* go*(es)* around murdering people \*By the Lake
* had too much of Fungi from Yuggoth \*H. P. Lovecraft
* hide*(s)* in this shrubbery \*By the Lake
* like*(s)* running with scissors \*Postal Dude
* like*(s)* to flash in the park
* look*(s)* like
* look*(s)* like a sad lemur [Nigel H.]
* made a poor deal with [Albert] \*Albert
* make*(s)* fun of the Pope [Serious Sam]
* make*(s)* me sick
* move*(s)* like a pregnant yak \*Lo Wang
* must be fun at parties
* need*(s)* a liver transplant [Serious Sam] \*ER
* never heard the Call of Cthulhu \*H. P. Lovecraft
* never partied in Moscow [Grisha] \*Grisha
* never watched Star Wars [Sir Knight]
* pissed on [Postal Dude] \*Postal Dude
* play*(s)* hidden object games [Sir Knight]
* pre-ordered No Man's Sky [Sir Knight]
* probably murdered [Postal Dude] \*By The Lake
* poses nude for
* put*(s)* on granny's clothing [Shufflebottom]
* read*(s)* Necronomicon with \*H. P. Lovecraft
* secretly adore*(s)*
* send*(s)* you warmest pots and dishes \*Albert
* signed my petition [H. P. Lovecraft] \*Postal Dude
* sit*(s)* next to
* smell*(s)* of
* stalked
* still use*(s)* Windows Vista [Sir Knight]
* suck*(s)* at Overwatch [Sir Knight, Lo Wang]
* support*(s)*
* swallowed a chewing gum
* talk*(s)* to strangers
* taste*(s)* like
* tell*(s)* dirty jokes at funerals [Mrs Maggie, Serious Sam] \*Postal Dude
* used to steal from orphans \*Albert

* vomit*(s)* after drinking vodka \*Grisha

* walk*(s)* silly
* want*(s)* some Wang \*Lo Wang
* wanted to be
* wear*(s)* second-hand clothes [Shufflebottom, Albert]
* went to the Mountain of Madness with \*H. P. Lovecraft
* will always be alone [Nigel H., H. P. Lovecraft]
* will be chopped to bits [Lo Wang] \*Lo Wang
* will be damned for eternity [Postal Dude] \*Father
* will disembowel [Postal Dude] \*Postal Dude
* will murder for a seat reservation \*Train Compartment
* will reincarnate as a pigeon \*The Afterlife
* will soon kick the bucket [Mrs Maggie]
* worked with

## Endings

* mate/honey!
* mister/ma'am!
* sir/lady!
* and everybody knows that!
* and I damn you! \*Father
* and I don't love you! \*Father
* and I have proof!
* and I'm Serious! \*Serious Sam
* and it's scientifically proven!
* and now let me finish the rites! \*H. P. Lovecraft
* and piss off!
* and stop being a berk! \*Albert
* and that's a load of bollocks! \*Albert
* and that's racist! \*Albert [H. P. Lovecraft, Serious Sam]
* and the Dead One still dreams in R'lyeh! \*H. P. Lovecraft
* and you can't deny it!
* and you know it's true!
* because I don't exist! [H. P. Lovecraft] \*Father
* because you are a spoiled brat! \*Mrs Maggie
* cockwomble! \*Shufflebottom
* I bet!
* innit?! \*Albert
* и я знаю, что ты шпион! (i ya znayu, chto ty shpion! ; and I know you're a spy!) \*Grisha
* just call me Doctor Euthanasia! [Mrs Maggie] \*Postal Dude
* like a minging peasant! [Albert, Grisha]
* now put a sock in it! \*Serious Sam
* nudge nudge!
* oh God, who writes this stuff?! \*Serious Sam
* or is it about the way I talk?! \*Albert
* pardon my French!
* says the fortune cookie! \*Lo Wang
* so go back to your seat! \*Train Compartment
* so, you know, well, innit, eh?! \*Mrs Maggie
* товарищ! (tovarishch! ; friend!/comrade!) \*Grisha
* which is an ancient Chinese secret! \*Lo Wang
* which makes me stiff! \*Lo Wang
* which might cause death!
* which seemed intuitive in design docs! \*Postal Dude
* which will make you die or go insane! \*H. P. Lovecraft
* yeah baby! \*Serious Sam
* you *[son/daughter]* of a washerwoman!
* you cheeky bastard! \*Shufflebottom
* you cheeky bint! \*Shufflebottom
* you commoner! [Albert, Grisha]
* you cross-eyed, inbred muckspout! \*Sir Knight
* you dickbag! \*Lo Wang
* you ginger! [Grisha] \*Albert
* you inbred twit!
* you lying git!
* you numpty! \*Shufflebottom
* you pillock! \*Shufflebotttom
* you pitiful mortal! [H. P. Lovecraft] \*Father
* you posh fopdoodle! \*Shufflebottom [Albert]
* you tottering fool-born hedge-pig! \*Sir Knight
* young man! \*Mrs Maggie