HALLOWEEN ELECTION SPECIAL

"*Vote for Hillary!*"
―Erik
HALLOWEEN ELECTION SPECIAL is the 58th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on November 8, 2016.

## Summary

Erik explains that he's finally ready for the United States 2016 presidential election to be over, but if Trump wins, then instead he'll just use it as content for Trump Factz.

He tries to find some solace on YouNow, but all he gets is neo-Confederate and a guy singing a song about Hillary that Robot hates. So instead Erik goes into Battlefield 1 to scare the players with politics and test a teamkilling theory. He also tries to scare some people on Chatroulette but most of them are naked men.

Then tries to look at Facebook. His main account and his Nude Celebs for Free account are both disabled, so he creates an account for Nips Comeoff. Then he looks up Jill Stein and wastes his time learning about her even though she'll never win. Then Erik watches a video of Gary Johnson while teamkilling in Battlefield.

Then Erik looks at the real candidates. First, he looks at how angry people get at the mere mention of Hillary Clinton. Then some guy in Rainbow Six Seige thinks that nothing will get done if Hillary is elected so Erik shoots him. He gets kicked for this, so he goes to the Correct the Record website to report it. He finds that the website is an absolute mess and only gets fixed the day of the election. Erik doesn't bother with Clinton's YouTube because comments don't display. He goes to her Facebook, but just finds death threats so he applies some etiquette of his own.

Finally, Erik investigates Donald Trump. Looking forward to the Trump supporters getting offended, he makes it very clear who Trump supporters are and why they support Trump. He looks at the subreddit for Trump supporters and some of the things they like to say. Then he tries to communicate with them, but he claims he's Syrian so he's not welcome. Erik also looks at the Scotts that support Trump: Scott Baio, Scott Peterson, and Dilbert creator Scott Adams. Erik finds Adams getting offended by a detergent commercial because a man says he'll go to the store.

Erik goes back to his post on reddit to tell the Trump supporters to vote for Hillary, so he gets banned. Instead, Erik watches videos of Trump speaking and leaves one final comment. Then he sends a tweet to Ted Cruz.

## Comments

*this elections got me so scared i slapped my dog in the nuts*
- Erik

*Can you do a scary song about the election**uhh is this song still about hillary*
- Erik

*can you freestyle rap about how hillary should go to prison*
- Erik

*yo man how about this scary election huh**im so scared i put my dog through a window*
- Erik

*I hate this election so much I turn the lights off by throwing my cat at the lightswitch every night*
- Erik

*NO WAY THIS DUDE HAS A GIT R DONE CONFEDERATE FLAG WITH GUNS AROUND IT**So Jill Steins got your vote right*
- Erik

*Hey, no clue who you are but you got my vote! All I needed to hear was like five things that I agree with, and bam you got it girl. I don't really have time to keep up with politics because I'm basically floating from one desert music festival to another, and all my time in between is spent finding new ways to incorporate fishnets and goggles into my various party costumes. Jill you strike me as the type of woman who doesn't take any guff and stands up for what she believes in. I know I keep telling my friends that I just don't trust politicians and that's why I don't vote, but this politician seems cool to me! No point in looking back to see if I was wrong about those other politicians, I'm just gonna go whole hog on Jill Stein. Jill Stein 2016: "I'm just gonna tell people I voted for Hillary in a week” Feel free to use that slogan the same way big government's been using us as target practice for their wifi death rays. Keep it crystal and don't drink tap water!*
- Erik

*Hey you talk funny but you're old as shit so you probably know more than me. Then again I know where Aleppo is and I can actually name at least one foreign head of state, but good on you for admitting when you're wrong. There's just not enough of that in this election cycle. You've got my vote all day even though I'm not actually gonna vote because I can already tell I'm not gonna feel like it. I'll probably lie and say I mailed in my ballot when friends ask, but in all honesty I just don't give a shit. I already did my part back when Bernie Sanders was running by giving him a bunch of reddit upvotes. Those count right? I can't believe the first time I ever get interested in politics, the guy I like loses so good luck
getting me on board for anything ever again! Trump and Hillary are the same person, I can talk to dogs, and what the hell does fiscal conservative mean?*
- Erik

*hey guys vote for hillary*
- Erik

*Typical brainwashed ignorant.Hillary is being exposed real hard by Wikileaks, Project Veritas Action & Anonymous. The facts are out there and still you people only care about the same scandals of Donald Trump aired by the bias mainstream media.*
- I am adeed

*hillary 2016*
- Erik

*Hey guys just checked out your website and it looks awesome! Got some real good classic Geocities circa 1997 vibes goin on there. Only thing missing is a GIF of the dancing baby from Ally Mcbeal and some spinning skulls thrown in for good measure. Have you thought about maybe visiting your own fucking webpage to see what it looks like? Because I'll tell ya, it's been this way for a long time. My favorite part is that giant corner of hair that you can tell maybe belongs to Hillary? How about you try correcting your own goddamn HTML before even touching the record because you kinda look like a bunch of goddamn idiots getting paid way too much money to basically do nothing. I'm pretty sure you could have just yelled some shit at Siri and she would have published a more coherent website. It's really difficult to defend the stupid amount of money spent on elections when garbage like this exists out there. Then again who am I to talk? I spend all day arguing with my relatives on Facebook trying to correct their records and all I get out of it is a rapidly declining friends list and threats from people I haven't seen since high school. If I was you I'd have given the fuck up months ago as well, so I guess lets just pack it up and realize that in the internet age nobody actually wants to be corrected about anything. Unless its me correcting you about that disgusting late term abortion of a website. Alright well I can't even vote because my dog + a bridge = felony.*
- Erik

*Now i know what you're thinking, do those nips come off? And yes they do, they pop right off like little sticky back salamis. Anyway as a
hillary supporter, i sure have to put up with a lot of bullshit. All i have to do is say im voting for hillary and suddenly i've got a gaggle of angry 14 year olds home from their remedial classes calling me a cuck and telling me that i'm ignoring some email bullshit that i don't think she even got in trouble for? I mean come on the other guy grabs pussies and has a nazi newspaper running his campaign. I would have to be the biggest fucking idiot in the goddamn world to change my mind about who I'm voting for. Look, I know she might have had a bunch of people killed, and she might be dying from a myriad of diseases, and her skin is pocked with artificial solar panels to keep her robotic legs powered, and her tongue is slowly falling apart inside her mouth, and and her tongue is slowly falling apart inside her mouth, and she practices witchcraft or whatever the fuck, but really even if all that is true, she's still better than Trump. Because Donald Trump is a baby man in a big daddy suit and the people voting for him would vote for a wheelbarrow as long as it had a note on it that said "I'm not hillary". But back to those nips can you believe these things aren't permanent? I would love to get some more pictures of nips that pop off hit my page “nipples that come off and gimme some stuff to JO to later tonight when I'm celebrating our Hillary victory with a big glass of baby blood.*
- Erik

*Hey guys heard there were some misunderstandings about Syrian refugees in here and would love to clear it up, thank you in advance for questions.*
- SyrianRefugee2016

*Weakling faggots like this will die in the coming war.*
- crab\_aesthetics

*yo big dog vote for hillarrryyyyyyyy!*
- Erik

*Hey MAGA! Wow I had no idea you were with us Trump supporters! Man I always thought Dilbert was the dumbest fucking comic out there. Just basically not funny at all and kind of a waste of everyone's time. I'll tell ya, you could throw a dog off a bridge onto concrete and the impact stain would be more enjoyable to look at than anything you've ever put to paper. You also kinda look like someone who's left some kids behind in shallow graves in the woods. Not that you have, but that's certainly the vibe you give off. Anyway I take it all back now that I know you're with the greatest political movement since Sarah Palin opened the door for low functioning adults who want to run for office. How many women have told you to leave them alone for you to get this fucking furious over a goddamn soap commercial? Maybe if you stopped writing Dilbert you could get yourself a date. I don't even think a Trump victory could get women's self esteem low enough to touch you in any way other than a shove that means “stop” and “no." But hey, don't worry you're just an old lonely man who came out of seclusion to let everyone know that not only did you create Dilbert, which sucks, but you also back Trump, which personally I think is awesome but I also drank a melted tire once because my cousin promised me a kiss. I lost a lot of brain cells on that dare, but not as many as the first time I tried to read dilbert. Alright fuck you dude please cancel Dilbert.*
- Erik

*How does it feel to know Hillary Clinton wrecked your country?*
- Maymay4america

*Vote for Hillary!*
- SyrianRefugee2016

*What happened to the christian population? Why did "Assad use chemical weapons"?
Edit: Of course you're not going to answer considering the likelihood of you being a Hillary supporter, masquerading as a refugee, who expected us to be racist.*
- mewtwokilsarceus

*Why would anyone expect you guys to be racist?
Edit: vote for hillary.*
- SyrianRefugee2016

*So if Assad wins are you going back?*
- Sup3rKyl3

*Vote for Hillary!*
- SyrianRefugee2016

*Vote for Hillary!*
- Erik

*Hey I been a Trump supporter for a year now. I never really understood politics but all know is Donald Trump speaks from his heart and doesn't let no agenda get in his way. That man tells it like it is and he's gonna make this country great again. This country's gone to shit in a shit bucket. I ain't never trust in no politician to get nothin done except Donald J Trump because he's God's chosen man for the job. I been unemployed ever since the Jiffy Lube up the street caught fire and I dunno how I'mma feed my two daughters who are the lights of my life. Trump's gonna fix that! I'm terrified of refugees and immigrants floodin into this country with their rape mouths and drug satchels, tryin to kick me outta
my home to make room for more ghettos and Trump's gonna fix that too. I may not like black people but I don't see how that makes me a racist. I know some good ones who I get along with because they don't throw it in my face. Gays gettin married? Well I could go either way on that one because I don't see why we should be tellin people what to do with their own assholes but if vice presidential candidate Mike Pence wants to ban homosexuality aint no shit off my shirt. I been duped my whole life into thinkin one way or another and it's just refreshing to see a strong man up there on the podium, absolutely 100 percent not trying to dupe me in any way no sir. He means everything he says. Hell he means what he says so much that he'll even take back what he says sometimes just so he can say the original thing again later and remind everyone that's what he meant in the first place. His son Eric looks like he mighta gotten caught up in a paint mixer as a baby but that's probably his mother's fault. Lord knows you're allowed a couple whammies when it comes to havin kids. When will the lying crooked media stop trying to shove false truths down everyones throats and why does the public believe all this crap? I been watching Fox news for years now and I'll tell ya they are directly responsible for all the knowledge and
lack of paranoia bouncing around in my head. Obama's the worst president we've ever had, Jews run the media, and if Hillary Clinton wins we'll never have another chance at ever getting a presidential candidate we like EVER AGAIN. Especially not in 4 years when there's another election. Also I don't want no woman tellin me what to do.*
- Erik

*@tedcruz welp guess you'll get another shot in 4 years if the parasitic brain worm wearing your body doesn't give up on you like america has*
- @commentiquette

## Context

1. ↑ Scott Peterson is a convicted murdrer that was on death row at the time of this lesson. Dilbert is a comic strip about mundane day-to-day life.
2. ↑ Gary Johnson infamously flubbed foreign policy questions on multiple occasions. In one instance, when asked a question on the warfare in the Syrian city of Aleppo, he asked "What is Aleppo?" In another, he was asked to name one foreign leader he admired and failed to come up with a name.
3. ↑ Geocities was a website that allowed anyone to create a website of their own. At the time, amateur websites would often have poor formatting making them obnoxious to look at and difficult to read. The dancing baby was an early internet meme.
4. ↑ Trump's campaign was run by Steve Bannon, the director of white supremicist platform Brietbart News.

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