Paper Mario vs. Archie Sonic

## Description

*The strongest Mario. The fastest Sonic. Which ludicrously overpowered incarnation of platforming's greatest rivals will win the war between Nintendo and Sega?*

## Interlude

Hiro: Mario and Sonic are no strangers to the Fatal Fiction arena, having fought their own separate battles and come out on top.

**MBStarscream: But now they shall return once more to settle a rivalry that goes back decades, in their most powerful forms to boot.**

Hiro: Paper Mario, the 2D counterpart to Nintendo's iconic plumber.

**MBStarscream: And Archie Sonic, Archie Comics’ alternate universe counterpart to Sega’s Blue Blur.**

Hiro: I'm Hiro Hamada.

**MBStarscream: I'm MBStarscream.**

Hiro: And it's our job to examine both warriors' strength, abilities, weapons, and weaknesses to see who would win in a fight.

## Paper Mario

Hiro: What if we told you that somewhere out there, in a whole other dimension, everyone and every*thing* in the Mushroom Kingdom was made out of paper and cardboard?

**MBStarscream: Sounds nuts, right? Well, such a dimension can be found in a magical book that houses all these paper counterparts to the classic characters you know and love. Among them is the resident hero of the paper Mushroom Kingdom, Paper Mario.**

Hiro: For the most part, Paper Mario's backstory and personality can be assumed to be similar to his more contemporary counterpart, with the sole exception being that literally everything in his world is made out of paper. Because Paper Mario is made out of some sort of paper as well, he also has distinct biological differences that allow for different abilities outside the norm for Mario characters that can get him out of a tight spot.

**MBStarscream: Due to his paper physiology, Paper Mario can shapeshift his body in various ways, like turning sideways to pass through tight spaces, turn into a living paper plane, roll into a tube, and fold himself into a paper boat. Paper Mario can also turn himself into, among other things, a more curled tube, a drill, a parachute, a boomerang, and a ninja star.**

Hiro: Paper Mario has the ability to "flip" between a 2D and 3D dimensional plane for about a 10-20 second time limit. This ability is mainly used for exploration, as objects can be viewed and interacted with differently depending on if Mario interacted with the world on a 2D or 3D perspective.

**MBStarscream: In the crossover game Mario and Luigi: Paper Jam, Paper Mario gained the ability to create “clones” of himself that can perform attacks alongside him. The clones can also soak up attacks from opponents, protecting the real Paper Mario from damage. The amount of total clones that can be initially made is 6, though that can be upgraded to 8.**

Hiro: Paper Mario can view the world from a different dimension and add in objects such as doors, fountains and other physical constructs into appropriate places, typically sacrificing a corresponding Sticker in the process. The ability can also be used to remove and store some objects or switch them also. He can even cut away scenery from his dimension in order to traverses his soundings in a different manner than usual or find hidden objects.

**MBStarscream: Paper Mario can also use the ability to swap in objects in corresponding places, which can be useful for exploration. And like his mainstream counterpart, the paper plumber comes with his own weapons of choice.**

Hiro: He wouldn't be a parallel Mario without hammers, and that's what he brings to the table. He has two sets of hammers, the Super Hammer and the Ultra Hammer, both of which serve as upgrades to a more standard hammer Paper Mario can receive, with the Ultra Hammer doing three times the amount of damage. The upgrades also allow Paper Mario to perform a powerful hammer spinning attack.

**MBStarscream: Paper Mario also wields a hammer that exudes paint of several different colors when swung, mainly for filling colorless areas and/or to restore function to objects on Prism Island. And there's a lot more hammers in this paper plumber's arsenal, including the Comet Hammer, the Expert Hammer, etc.**

Hiro: Paper Mario also has two sets of boots he can equip which increase the power of his jumping attacks drastically. The Super Boots allow Paper Mario to use the Spin Jump, which is basically just another version of the Ground Pound found in various other Mario games. The Ultra Boots also allow the use of Tornado Jump and a Spring Jump.

**MBStarscream: The Tornado Jump is an upwards spinning jump that stomps back down with tremendous force, and the Spring Jump is a jump where Paper Mario scrunches his body downward and then springs upwards to greater heights than normal. And the more contemporary versions of Mario and Luigi, Paper Mario also has his own set of equipment.**

Hiro: Besides hammers, there’s also paper boots, paper wear, paper gloves and paper accessories he can use. Given the RPG nature of said equipment, a lot of it is difficult to quantify though. That being said some things have more distinct secondary effects that are objectively useful in battle.

**MBStarscream: Paper Mario also has his own badge system, filled with all sorts of special attacks and abilities he can use. And the best part? There is NO limit to the amount of badges Paper Mario is equipped with! Just as long as he has enough "BP" points.**

Hiro: Among the jump attack badges are Power/Mega Jump, Power Bounce, Multibounce, Shrink Stomp, Sleep Stomp, Soft Jump, Tornado Jump, and D-Down Jump. And the hammer attack badges include Power/Mega Smash, Hammer Throw, Quake/Mega Quake Hammer, Fire Drive, Head Rattle, Ice Smash, Piercing Blow, and D-Down Pound.

**MBStarscream: If he wants to alter his stats, Paper Mario has Hammerman, Jumpman, Ice Power, Last Stand, and Power/Mega Rush. His passive support badges consist of Dizzy Attack, Bump Attack, Chill Out, Close Call, Feeling Fine, Fire Shield, Fire Attack, Happy Flower and Happy Heart, HP Drain and FP Drain, Lucky Day, Peekaboo, S. Jump Charge and S. Smash Charge, Speedy Spin, Spiked Shield, Spin Attack, Zap Zap, Lucky Start, and Return Postage. You got all that?**

Hiro: Various other badges in Paper Mario's arsenal can also increase his defense and attack power, allow him to pray for star power for certain attacks, make it easier for him to dodge attacks from enemies, among other benefits. And by losing either specifically collected Stickers or Battle Cards plus some paint, Paper Mario gets new forms of attack.

**MBStarscream: For the most part the attacks granted to Mario by these objects overlap A LOT with his abilities granted by badges in the earlier paper Mario games. Because of that going into detail about the vast majority of them is sort of pointless. Though that being said, there are a few notable attacks with no equivalence that Hiro shall list out now.**

Hiro: What? Why me?

**MBStarscream: Because I already nearly strained my voice lising out a lot of badges, thank you.**

Hiro: Fine. But you're talking about the Battle Cards!

**MBStarscream: Sounds fair.**

Hiro: Among Paper Mario's stickers, there's Leaf, Snowball, Spiked Ball, Barrel, Wrench, Bone, Boomerang, Bomb, Sombreo, Throwing star, and Poison Mushroom. Your turn, Starscream.

**MBStarscream: Paper Mario can gain cards corresponding to various common enemies found in the Mario series and make them perform an attack for him before dissipating. This includes having enemies like Hammer Bros, Fire Bros or Ice Bros throw one of their respective elements or weapons, having Bloopers or Shy Guys bash enemies, etc. He also has Battle Cards that summon each of the 7 Koopalings, Kamek or a version of Bowser's castle.**

Hiro: Paper Mario can even use real world 3D objects for supportive or offensive attacks. There’re both Stickers and Battle Card things, but the effects of both are fairly similar and more or less interchangeable.

**MBStarscream: They come in several different categories, cut, wind, suction, water, noise, bat, crush, light, ball, quake, heat, fire, ice, shot, shield, sleep, stop, misc, explosion and normal. For the most part the effects of the things are pretty aptly correlated to the name of their category.**

Hiro: Cut includes bottle openers, hair shears, ice picks, scissors, sewing scissors, tailor shears, and... a giant turnip that separates into razor sharp slices that cuts through opponents. In Wind, there's a bellows, a giant fan, a fire extinguisher, two giant paper fans, and some recorders that summon a giant tornado.

**MBStarscream: Suction has a mini vacuum, a giant plunger, and two larger vacuums that suck up opponents and spit them out. Water has a faucet, a teapot, a washing machine, and a watering can, and Noise has various musical instruments that go a little too far.**

Hiro: Bat has, well, a baseball bat, a newspaper, and a small toy bat, Crush has a basin, a large cat statue, a giant hammer, several large corks, a large pair of high heels, and a large can, and Light has a giant flashlight, a light bulb, and a large search light.

**MBStarscream: In Electric, there's a giant battery, a car battery, a D-Cell battery and a watch battery. In Ball, there's billiard balls and bowling balls, a bone that summons a giant Chomp Chomp that rolls over enemies, a giant curling stone, and a trophy with a statue that throws an exploding ball at an opponent.**

Hiro: Quake makes a cell phone that causes a ground laden shockwave and creates a large jackhammer that creates a quake, Heat summons a hair dryer, an oven and a radiator, Fire has a giant grill, a lighter and matches, Ice has an air conditioner that blasts enemies with damaging icy winds, a refrigerator and a gaint shaved ice, Shot has a giant soda and a powerful squirt gun, and Shield summons a large sponge, a giant camera, and a powder puff shield.

**MBStarscream: Sleep summons all the things you need for a good nap, like giant beds and a nice pillow that'll put enemies to sleep. In Stop, there's a giant watch that briefly stops time, giant staplers, giant rolls of tape, and dozens of giant thumbtacks. Explosion has a large balloon that grows and grows until it goes pop, and a giant piggy bank that explodes.**

Hiro: And finally, Paper Mario can summon a giant rubber duck that rolls over an opponent. That took WAY longer than it needed to.

**MBStarscream: You're telling me! Felt like this whole thing turned into a TV commercial for a moment there. Anyway, Paper Mario comes with several power-ups that grant him different abilities, like Pal Pills, the Slow Flower, the Speed Flower, and the Mega Star.**

Hiro: Other items include Dizzy Dial, Electro Pop, Fright Jar, Repel Jell, Shooting Star, Sleepy Sheep, Snowman Doll, Stone Cap, Stop Watch, Thunder Bolt, Thunder Rage, Boos Sheet, Coconut Bomb, Zess Dynamite, Courage Shell, Earth Quake, Egg Bomb, Fright Mask, HP Drain, Ice Storm, Mini Mr. Mini, Mr. Softener, Ruin Powder and Spite Pouch.

**MBStarscream: Aiding Paper Mario are a species of magical pixie-like creatures called Pixls, created by a race of ancient magicians. They each have individual special abilities that they can use to help Mario out ranging from grabbing things, acting as bombs or creating platforms for him to land on.**

Hiro: Paper Mario has an energy source hinted to be related to wish power that he can harness for certain special attacks and summons. Paper Mario’s star power refills automatically over time, though he can speed it up by performing a prayer move of sorts called Focus. It can also be increased by appealing to the “audience” watching Mario fight on the game screen or performing moves correctly/stylishly to appeal to said audience.

**MBStarscream: Paper Mario can also get help from the Star Spirits, seven spirits that reside in the land of Star Heaven and grant wishes to the people of the Mushroom Kingdom. Their names are Eldstar, Mamar, Skolar, Muskular, Misstar, Klevar and Kalmar respectively, and Paper Mario can expend star power to summon them for singular special attacks.**

Hiro: Paper Mario has also collected the seven Crystal Stars, originally used against the evil Shadow Queen by a team of four heroes. Paper Mario eventually assumed control of their power for use in a series of several special attacks. In addition to special attacks, the Crystal Stars also seem to be able to collected power from others if they are willing and give it to Paper Mario as a sort of power of friendship.

**MBStarscream: But his best items are the Pure Hearts. They're basically a bunch of artifacts created by a tribe of ancient magicians for the purpose of nullifying the effects of a doomsday weapon called the Chaos Heart, which could open up a rift in space and time that could destroy a universe and empower their host with near invulnerability.**

Hiro: Each heart represents various positive emotions including paternal love, friendship, romance, etc. When they all come together, they can also fuse together to form an object called the Purity Heart which undid all the damage the Chaos Heart brought.

**MBStarscream: With all this power, Paper Mario is in a whole different league. He's survived the effects of the Void, defeated the likes of his native Bowser, Dimentio, the Shadow Queen and King Olly, harmed two giant dragons, and has shown to equal the mainline Mario in speed; his mainstream self has shown to keep up with a Grand Star-empowered Bowser, who flew to the center of the universe in a short time.**

Hiro: But Paper Mario also comes with the weaknesses of his classic self. He takes more damage from fire-based attacks, probably because fire and paper don't go well together, and without the Pure Hearts, he really isn't that powerful in all honesty.

**MBStarscream: But still powerful enough to be called the Mushroom Kingdom's champion. His exploits in saving his Princess and stopping the constant barrage by the forces of darkness are as famous as that magnificent mustache.**

Hiro: No matter what malevolent attacker threatens the safety of his home, whether it be Bowser or something else for a change, Mario always sees them off with a spring in his step and a mallet in his fist, ensuring peace can continue and his kingdom can rest in safety.

*Paper Mario: Oh, yeah!*

## Archie Sonic

Hiro: In an alternate reality, Earth was once the same place as ours until the alien Xorda race unleashed weapons of mass destruction upon the world. These weapons accelerated the evolution of the planet's fauna and caused untold damage throughout the land.

**MBStarscream: Several millennia later, the world, now known as Mobius, would be greeted with the birth of a blue hedgehog who would grow up to be a hero. His name... was Sonic Maurice Hedgehog. Yeah.**

Hiro: At the time of Sonic's birth, the Great War was near its end in the battle between the Mobians and the Overlanders. Thanks to the Kingdom of Acorn leading King Maximillian Acorn and his trusted allies, he was able to defeat the Overlanders and end the war... but sadly it was short-lived.

**MBStarscream: Out of his own desire for conquest, Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik would betray his allies with time and patience to begin his robotic takeover. Defenseless and overpowered by the hordes of Ivo’s army, King Acorn was able to evaluate a large number of the children to the Knothole Village for sanctuary, with Sonic being one of them.**

Hiro: The First Robotnik War began with Robotnik taking Sonic’s home and slowly conquering the world of Mobius, and brought the inspirational birth of the Freedom Fighters that Sonic helped. The result of their long battle brought the multiverse many more wars and battles to come that made Sonic the true pivotal hero of all realities, time, and space.

**MBStarscream: Sonic led his freedom fighting army into battle against Robotnik's cybernetic warriors, his speed, courage, and can-do attitude inspiring everybody around him. With his friends by his side, he would never lose the fight to Robotnik's madness.**

Hiro: Across Mobius and beyond, Sonic demonstrates great skill in battle. The hallmark of any incarnation of Sonic is his mobility, and that idea is taken to the utmost extreme here. With his agility, the Mobian hero can surpass light-speed, create afterimages of himself, phase through solid matter, and even attain invisibility, amongst other such powers. This speed can be also used on an offensive front; his most iconic attack is the Spin Dash, where he rolls himself into a ball to rev up and dashes forward at high speed towards any target.

**MBStarscream: He can charge this attack for as long as he wants for a more powerful dash attack, or use it to increase his travel at high speed. There are also variants of this iconic move: Sonic Spin, which turns him into a living buzzsaw, a smaller variation of it for shredding handcuffs, and Sonic Super Spin, which lets him burrow several meters above to the surface of the ground.**

Hiro: Another classic move Sonic loves to perform is the Homing Attack, his main combo chain attack. He basically can lock onto any foe he wants to target and lanches directly at him in mid air like a heat seeking missile. He can always then use that force to bounce off of that foe and move on to the next one until he stops.

**MBStarscream: Sonic can run in place at rapid speed, then let loose to take off with incredible acceleration, and he has a variation of the Sonic spin called Supersonic Spin which he uses to launch himself into the air and allows him to burrow upwards. Sonic can circle around an opponent at high speeds to extinguish flames and cut off oxygen supply, effectively suffocating them, and by accelerating at top speeds while coated in a blue aura, Sonic rockets forward as a highly destructive projectile to mow down anything in his way.**

Hiro: By using his Sonic Spin, Sonic is capable of burrowing through the ground at high speeds. This allows him to perform defensive maneuvers to escape troubling situations and hide from sight. Sonic can even target pressure points at rapid speeds, numbing his opponents.

**MBStarscream: The key to all of this stems from the Chaos Force, an energy field that surrounds the universe. It is this special energy that gives power in two ways: a link to the Chaos Force itself, or a link to a magical object associated with the Chaos Force.**

Hiro: For Sonic, those magical objects would be the Chaos Emeralds and his Power Rings. When linked, they can give unlimited power through many methods depending on the user. It is safe to say that in theory because of this powerful energy the Chaos Force is overall a 5D/Fifth Dimensional plane of existence. In other words, it can always affect all universities and realities lower than its own.

**MBStarscream: Think of it as playing the card game War, where the highest card can destroy the lowest card every time. Scourge the Hedgehog, the Sol Emeralds, and the events on Mobius are the best examples of why the Chaos Force overall is a powerful one to control.**

Hiro: After saving a mystical fog, Sonic was given three stones of varying color, each one granting him special enhancements to his abilities or attributes. The Green Stone of Strength vastly increases Sonic's natural strength, enough to casually beat a badnik that was initially overwhelming him, but the exact amount is unquantifiable.

**MBStarscream: The Yellow Stone of Leaping greatly increases Sonic's acrobatic capabilities, even allowing him to jump several dozen stories into the air, and the Red Stone of Elasticity gives Sonic's entire body a high degree of malleability and greatly enhances Sonic's regenerative capabilities.**

Hiro: Sonic has wielded the Sword of Light, a weapon originally created by The Ancient Walkers to aid in defeating the users of dark magic, given to Sir Connory to do so. The Sword of Light is able to completely negate any and all attacks that stem from dark magic, and is even shown to form unsee barriers around the wielder. And that's not the only sword he's used before.

**MBStarscream: There's also the Sword of Acorns, forged in the Source of All. It is able to imbue others with powerful magical properties, and is capable of acting as an amplifier and conduit for magical power. Some abilities include healing, draining opponents of their power, negating an opponent's abilities, paralyzing them, and opening rifts in reality.**

Hiro: And if Sonic needs protection against the elements, he has three different shields for such: a Fire Shield that protects him from all forms of heat and flames, an Electric Shield that gives him immunity to electricity-based attacks, and an Aqua Shield that allows him to conquer his ever-lasting fear of water and survive underneath it indefinitely.

**MBStarscream: Sonic's Power Rings have quite a lot of uses, as they all can grant nearly any range of abilities from the user like increasing Sonic's physical capabilities. Three rings can be used to restore stolen speed, and helped heal Sonic after his defeat from Eggman. Just one ring was also capable of bringing Sonic's father back to life after having died from having his chest bursted open. Dark stuff.**

Hiro: The rings can also give knowledge, age someone, and be used to create portals to other dimensions. After collecting his one billionth ring in an earlier flight with Robonik, Sonic was tested by the Ancient Walkers and passed the trial. But, after leaving their dimension, a contrast, invisible, active aura was noticed on Sonic and surrounded him at all times.

**MBStarscream: There were many times that Sonic has resisted mind control, even when Robotnik was able to finally roboticize him in the Mecha Madness Special. Thankfully, it was confirmed by the writers that this aura was responsible for him returning to normal. Not even characters like Mogul can control him, despite having little issue with Tails and Mighty.**

Hiro: In his fight against Enerjak, who possessed Knuckles’ body, Sonic was not affected by Finitevus’ spell, which should nullify anyone's ability to utilize the Master Emerald's powers when he went Super Sonic. It was this spell that Finitevus used to not only control Knuckles, but also bring back Enerjak.

**MBStarscream: While this feat for Sonic’s immunity was questioned due to a flashback from when Scourge was using it without Finitevus’s knowing, it confirms the feat by not only being a foreshadowing of what came, but also remembering that Scourge is still a version of Sonic...just evil and all that. Now, we come to one of the two big questionable abilities for the One Billionth Ring aura, as this example came from the Sonic Genesis graphic novels.**

Hiro: During this story arc, Eggman once tried to not only rewrite reality, but also erase Sonic and the power of Chaos with it. Where it should have worked and erased Sonic from existence per Eggman’s theory, the opposite happened and Sonic somehow achieved Super Sonic. As Eggman put it, Chaos is constant, but the matter manipulation is the one we will talk about later for that form.

**MBStarscream: While there was a moment in Issue 50 where Sonic was believed to have survived thanks to his arua after being erased by the Ultimate Annihilator, the comic states that Robotink was the only one that was affected, so, that one is a bit questionable. Now we have the biggest one of all the most insane abilities the aura gives to Sonic: Lots of plot armor.**

Hiro: Specifically, somehow being able to always achieve victory even in almost nearly impossible situations. Mogul explained it within the two battles he fought included Sonic, and it made Eggman insane with him approving the theory. While Mogul was cursed to always lose and Eggman realized later with his theory to overpower Sonic, both experienced foes from Sonic have stated this theory to be the reason why he mostly wins in the end.

**MBStarscream: His Toon Force from the early comics kinda supports this one. Let’s keep in mind that earlier in the comics that Sonic has interacted or added his own style to events in his stories, like in his 25th issue at the end where Sonic left the honor of the reader to smash Ivo Robonik into a pancake. Even some stories were made from the readers that Sonic allowed to do.**

Hiro: Again, he has little control on this as the later series has shown he does have little control on this at all and even loses his fair share of fights. And in the Sonic Comic Encyclopedia, it does state that the events of Sonic 06 were going to happen in a future arc, which tied into the game and ended with Sonic killed off in the final moments. This one is overall 50/50 and depends on the small details to support this, but these examples are at least here to show one of the theories that could be true as shown here.

**MBStarscream: Now that we have all that talked about, let's talk about something less debatable. Like the Chaos Emeralds!**

Hiro: These magical gemstones are the physical manifestations of the Chaos Force and contain great power. Although they've been depicted in a variety of colors and quantities, the Archie version had thousands of these emeralds across the universe, but then the events of Mogul killing the Ancient Walkers who ruled the zone of silence happened.

**MBStarscream: In the aftermath,  this panda badger named Feist became the new ruler of what is now called the Special Zone and made big changes, mostly combining all of the chaos emeralds to make seven total. From that point on, the seven distinct emeralds are green, cyan, blue, red, purple, yellow, and gray.**

Hiro: By harnessing the power of these seven emeralds or even just one, Sonic achieves his famous Super form. Not only is this form a thousand times faster than even standard Sonic, but his defensive capabilities increase to the point of being effectively invulnerable.

**MBStarscream: And if he uses one of the even more powerful Super Emeralds instead, Sonic can go one step further and tap into the form of Ultra Sonic. In this state, Sonic has access to all of Super Sonic's powers and even the alternate uses of Chaos energy: heightened knowledge and rewriting reality to suit one's wishes.**

Hiro: Ultra Sonic can rewrite the atomic structure of his surroundings and himself; as similar Chaos-empowered mages have used it on other living beings, Ultra Sonic should theoretically be capable of the same. It is even theorized that, due to his repeated and intense exposure to Chaos energy from power rings and emeralds, Sonic has become the living manifestation of chaos, wherein fate twists itself to suit his agenda.

**MBStarscream: Many adventures and trials have awaited the hero of Mobius, and he tends to emerge from them none the worse for wear. Without any of his greater forms, Sonic has withstood the implosion of a black hole generator which then blasted him nearly a million light-years away onto a distant planet.**

Hiro: The Super and Ultra forms, meanwhile, have been able to shatter moons and carry on in battle for several hours. These forms, when tapping into Chaos energy, can even rewrite the laws of the multiverse and survive being wiped from existence.

**MBStarscream: As insane as these feats of strength and stamina are, speed is one of the most defining traits for any Sonic, and this is where ol' Archie shines. A smaller-scale feat, for instance, would be in his ability to travel through a storm, keeping himself completely dry as he maneuvers between raindrops.**

Hiro: For more cosmic fare, Sonic can traverse the length of the multiverse-spanning Cosmic Interstate in under a day and caused the destruction of the aforementioned black hole generator by reversing its momentum with his own. In a crossover with the concurrent Mega Man comic line, Sonic is even shown to maintain his speed while time is fully halted. Even within his setting, Sonic's speed is referred to as incalculable, and breaking physics in such a manner adds great credence to this claim.

**MBStarscream: For all of this, Sonic has the Chaos Force to thank for being his biggest source of power, though it is also his biggest crutch. One constant Archie Sonic shares with his game-based counterpart is that his more powerful forms run operate on limited time; overusing Chaos energy can also forcibly cut the Super and Ultra forms short.**

Hiro: This Sonic also has the cockiness and arrogance associated with many other incarnations of the Blue Blur, even if that overconfidence isn't entirely baseless. But the most important flaw is how his aura from his 1 Billionth Ring is not infallible. The aura itself mostly acts on itself to prevent Sonic’s death and ensures victory no matter the price, which Sonic has mostly no control over.

**MBStarscream: Still, it speaks volumes that Sonic has won some modicum of respect from Robotnik over the course of their decades-long conflict, to such a degree that he and other enemies admit the best way to defeat the hedgehog is to wait for old age to claim him. Until then, though, Sonic will never stop running.**

*Sonic: I do things the right way. I help others to do something bigger and better than just mean. The good guys always win in the long run. And there isn’t anybody who can run longer or better than I can.*

## Fatal Fiction

*Mario flips a coin.*

Hiro: Well, Paper Mario wins out in territory, but can he keep up with Mobius' blue hero?

**MBStarscream: Ah! Keep up with him! Nice!**

Hiro: Walked right into that one.

*Mushroom Kingdom, Paper Mario book*

A large book with a red mushroom imprinted on it opened up to reveal a pleasant field with green grass, a bright blue sky and a yellow sun. On a nearby tree stump, someone was napping. Someone dressed in red and blue, with a mustache, brown shoes, white gloves, black cartoonish eyes, and a red hat adorning the letter "M".

"M" for Mario. Or in full, **Paper Mario**.

But little did he know... he wasn't alone.

A trail of blue streaked past him with such speed that he was launched off of his tree stump, flying through the air until he landed roughly on the grass. Jumping to his feet, Mario indignantly called out in Italian gibberish, and within moments, a blue figure dashed in front of him, nearly making him fall over.

Standing before him was a hedgehog unlike any he'd ever seen. Dressed in red sneakers with white straps and wearing white gloves not unlike Mario's, this hedgehog had green eyes, blue fur that covered most of his body and peach skin that covered his arms, muzzle, insides of his triangular ears and front torso. He also had six long quills on the back of his head, two spines protruding from his back behind his shoulders, and a short tail.

This was the freedom fighter of Mobius known as Sonic the Hedgehog. Or at least, an alternate counterpart of the Blue Blur known as **Archie Sonic**.

"Heya!" He said. "Name's Sonic! And I gotta know, what is this place? And more importantly, how do I get out of it? Cuz I got better places to be."

Mario only sputtered more gibberish as a thought bubble appeared above them, showing the 2D plumber sleeping peacefully before he and the nice bed he was in shattered to pieces, representing his peaceful nap being interrupted so rudely by this hedgehog. He then pulled out a hammer of some sort, and Sonic immediately knew what was in store.

"Well, I can always find another way out of here. After I leave you in the dust!" He said as he and Mario took battle-ready stances.

**FIGHT!**

Mario swung his hammer down, but Sonic dashed backward before slamming into him with a Homing Attack, knocking him onto his back. Sonic jumped up and landed on top of Mario, spinning his body to hit him multiple times before springing off of him. Mario got up and hurled another hammer at Sonic, who jumped over it and tried to hit Mario with another Homing Attack that the plumber was able to jump over this time. Mario started throwing Bob-ombs at Sonic, but the hedgehog took out each bomb with a dash attack before locking onto his target.

But right as he charged forward, Mario kicked him into the air, then jumped up and sent him flying across the field with a hammer strike. Upon landing, Sonic starting moving his legs to the point that they resemble a red figure-eight, then surged forward, dashing past Mario and causing him to spin out. Then he came back and planted a haymaker to Mario's face from the opposite end, knocking him back. Sonic tried to hit Mario with another Homing Attack, but Mario jumped above him and landed on him with a Ground Pound, then knocked the hedgehog away with a swing of his hammer. Glaring at Mario, Sonic ran around him and created a blue tornado around the plumber, hitting him repeatedly before appearing behind him and letting him drop to the ground.

Mario got up and swung a different hammer at Sonic, one that sprayed paint all over his blue opponent. "Hey! Not cool, man! I gotta wash all this--" He was interrupted by a POW Block nailing him in the face. As it bounced off of him, Mario hit it with a fist, causing the area to shake once more and further dazing Sonic. Mario then charged, but Sonic kicked him into the air, then threw him to the ground. Sonic then grabbed Mario and did a back flip with him, taking him into the air. Sonic then got on top of his opponent, curled into a ball, and spun, grinding Mario underneath his spines before kicking him away.

Charging up a Spin Dash, Sonic sped towards Mario, but was knocked into the ground by the red hero's hammer. Mario hit Sonic several more times, then grabbed him and leaped into the air, repeatedly jumping on his head. The final jump pushing him backward, Sonic gathered blue elecricity in his body, then shoots a glance at Mario before surging forward as a living bolt of blue energy that inflicted multiple hits of electric damage. But as Sonic came in for one final blow, the very dimension seemed to shift, putting him and Mario on two different planes.

"Huh?" Sonic said in confusion. He turned to see Mario waving at him from the second dimension. "What are you doing over there?" Mario only shrugged the only way he could in 2D. "No matter. I'll speed over there in no time!" Sonic said while taking a runner's stance and pulsating with blue elecricity. Then he took off like a bullet, totally disappearing from view.

He appeared beside Mario moments later.

"WAH?!" Mario jumped back in shock as the Metal Gear alert sound played. A speech bubble containing an interrobang appeared above Mario as the plumber questioned in gibberish how Sonic had done what he just did while waving his hands.

"Just really fast, I guess." Sonic said with a nonchalant shrug. Without another word, he dashed into Mario and hit him all around. After being thrown back, Mario pulled out a Koopa shell and hopped on top of it, sending it flying across the ground towards Sonic. The hedgehog's response was to kick the shell back towards Mario, and from there the two of them sent the shell back and forth until one was nailed in the face.

Mario was knocked back from the force of the Koopa shell's collision with his nose. Letting out a laugh, Sonic charged up a rolling attack and surged forward, but Mario equipped a Spike Helmet and lowered his head, leaving Sonic to crash into it. Mario then did an upward headbutt, knocking Sonic into the air and sending him crashing to the ground. Mario then threw several fireballs at Sonic until the Mobian equipped a Fire Shield that gave him resistance to Mario's projectiles. Sonic jumped up and rocketed towards Mario in an aerial dash attack. Sonic struck again and again from left and right, pummeling Mario too fast for him to keep up.

Making it worse was that every attack coming his way was enhanced with the *one* element Mario was weak to. The sooner he had an opening again, the better.

Soon enough, Sonic's onslaught stopped, and Mario hit the floor. As the Fire Shield surrounding Sonic disappeared, Mario pulled out a Trial Stew and ate it, multiplying his HP and attack power by 100, before taking a battle stance. Sonic met him with a grin before tossing a ring into the air. Gaining a greenish aura, Sonic raced forward, but Mario blocked his attack with his hammer. Even as he was pushed back, Mario held his hammer tightly, charging it up while Sonic's curled form was pushing against it. Then, Mario leapt into the air and slammed it downward with all his might.

The next thing Sonic knew, he landed in some kind of papercraft theater stage, and looked up to see Mario on the other side. Before his eyes, eight clones of the plumber appeared around the real one, all wearing battle-ready expressions. Sonic showed them all a toothy grin before charing up with elecricity. Mario pointed at Sonic as a command to attack, and the clones were about to swarm the hedgehog, but he was too quick for them. In a burst of speed, Sonic plowed through the clones and smashed into the Mario, bringing them out of the theater and taking them back to the field. Sonic dug through the ground as he left behind a blue streak, rolling up a hill and smashing Mario down through it.

Sonic jumped away as Mario lay in a crater of dirt. Mario jumped up and landed on his feet, glaring at Sonic. Then, eight colorful hearts appeared around him and were quickly absorbed into the plumber, giving him a protective barrier. Sonic tried breaking through it with Homing Attacks, but Mario was unharmed. The paper champion then extended his 1,000-fold arms and put his hands together before slamming them down on Sonic, sending out a shockwave. Mario punched Sonic multiple times before kicking him away. Sonic charged at him, and the two started punching each other.

"You've gotten stronger!" Sonic observed. "But I've got something for that too!"

Mario was forced back when seven emeralds appeared in a flash of light. They all surrounded Sonic before flying into him, turning his fur a radiant golden color. "The power of Chaos!" Super Sonic declared. "Things are getting interesting now, huh?"

Mario's eyes narrowed dangerously.

Though he had tried to counter a charge from the empowered hedgehog, he quickly found himself helplessly carried by Super Sonic's flight across the Mushroom Kingdom. When Sonic finally stopped, Mario reoriented himself before taking out a giant fan and turning it on as Sonic charged, blowing the golden speedster back. At least until Sonic managed to power through the fan's winds and smash through it, to Mario's shock.

Sonic turned himself around and flew in Mario's direction, the plumber throwing out a punch to counter Sonic's own. Their gloved fists clashed with earth-shaking force, before they traded blows. When Mario managed to grab Sonic's fist, he spun the hedgehog around and tossed him into the air. Sonic dropped down towards him, hitting the ground as Mario jumped back. The plumber was too slow to react before Sonic rushed at him and began hitting him with a flurry of rapid tackles that lifted Mario. Sonic then curled into a ball and did a series of Homing Attacks that launched Mario even further into the air. Finally, Sonic enveloped himself with a golden aura of fiery Chaos energy before charging at Mario, who charged up his hammer and countered Sonic's attack with a swing that knocked him to the ground.

Mario raised his hammer above his head as he fell towards the ground, yelling loudly in preparation to pummel the hedgehog. Until he was repelled by an explosion of energy that launched upward. A straight kick to the back propelled Mario to the left, and upon landing, the plumber turned to see Sonic in a new form: he was now blue again and surrounded by rings of energy orbiting him, heralding the arrival of Ultra Sonic.

"This ends now!" He said before dashing at Mario. Grabbing onto his opponent, Sonic flung Mario into the air at such high speed that he seemed to break reality. He then flew straight over Mario and conjured as much Chaos energy as he can into his hands. As he fired it all down, Mario took out the Star Rod and fired a beam out of it. The two blasts exploded upon impact, flinging the plumber and hedgehog back. When they recovered, Mario fired another beam out of the Star Rod that Sonic was quick enough to dodge. Radiating Chaos energy into his fists, Sonic launched Mario away with a punch, knocking the Star Rod out of his grasp.

Transforming the air ahead of him, Sonic sent a stream of flame towards Mario. Mario leaped over the flames with a hammer ready, bringing it down on Sonic's head. Mario inflicted several more blows until Sonic jumped up and came down on Mario with a downward Homing Attack. Sonic spiralled around Mario in Spin Dash four times, then kicked off him before tackling him, hitting him with several punches. Sonic took hold of Mario, then jumped back, spinning rapidly, to slam him onto the ground. Sonic dashed in the opposite direction as Mario got up and summoned a bowling ball. As Sonic came dashing towards him, Mario threw it at the hedgehog, hitting his head.

Mario jumped on Sonic a few times before finishing with a Ground Pound, but Sonic punched him high into the air. Sonic punched and kicked Mario around the air, then grabbed his face and carried him up, up, up into the atmosphere at such speed that time seemed to slow to a crawl. Throwing Mario further upward, Sonic charged his hands with Chaos energy and flew up to meet the plumber, clamping them down on Mario's head.

Mario's entire world started to distort and flicker as he screamed in overwhelming pain. He could not move, he could not do anything, time wouldn't even move. He was stuck. Everything was still. Everything was distorted. Everything hurt. Every atom felt like it was incinerating.

In a flash of light, Mario broke up into multicolored silhouettes that swiftly faded away, nothingness setting in to take their place. Once time was moving forward again, Sonic kept going, moving faster than logic should allow. The book still open, Sonic launched out of it and landed on his feet in new terrain that still didn't feel like his own. The rings surrounding him disappeared, bringing him back to base form. Sonic looked around, then noticed the book he had just escaped.

"Wait. I was in a book?" He realized. "Not much of a page turner."

And he took off, seeming to vanish from sight and leaving the book behind.

**FATALITY!**

## Results

**MBStarscream: Is there something wrong with my books now? Are there blue hedgehogs in them?!**

Hiro: You read?

**MBStarscream: Well, not excessively. Only when I don't have to do this job.**

Hiro: Anyway, Paper Mario was plenty powerful, with his myriad of ailities and Pure Hearts putting him on a level of power that let him keep up for a while. But Sonic was just better overall in several areas.

**MBStarscream: Let's not beat around the bush here: Sonic was so. Much. Faster. Paper Mario has shown impressive speed feats himself, showing to be considerably faster than his main self, but he couldn't wish to hold a candle to Sonic.**

Hiro: Even with the Pure Hearts, which enhanced his power greatly, Paper Mario was still, at absolute best, billions of times slower than Sonic, as there is absolutely no evidence that the Pure Hearts boost Mario's speed. And even if that was the case, Paper Mario was still be astronomically outclassed in speed.

**MBStarscream: Yeah, we literally can't get a valid number for how fast Sonic is. It defies all explanation! He moves through STOPPED TIME!**

Hiro: Even putting aside the sheer speed difference, there were several other advantages Sonic had that gave him this victory. Now, Paper Mario has survived being in the Void and contended with foes like Dimentio and the Shadow Queen, but Sonic's reality warping lets him rewrite the multiverse, and he's fought evenly with his own god-like being, Enerjak.

**MBStarscream: Who has transcended lower planes of existence elevating to the level of Chaos Force, a realm transcendent to the space-time of infinite universes, and was unharmed by Aurora and the Ancient Walker working together. Not even Super Dimentio was on a level quite like that.**

Hiro: Surviving the Void gave Paper Mario tremendous durability, but Sonic has shown to be comparable to that, tanking a beam that forced time to flow backwards and being unaffected when the Super Genesis Wave activated. In terms of strength, both were on par; we can reliably scale Paper Mario to his comtemporary counterpart, who has contended with Grand Star users.

**MBStarscream: But check out the stuff we can scale Sonic too! The Super Genesis Wave was able to wipe out a ton of Sega and Capcom multiverses and Chaos Control can just nope that shit away.**

Hiro: Another thing going for Sonic was his one billionth power ring aura, his most effective form of hax. Despite having the theories for its maximum use, Sonic is nearly impossible to kill due to how the aura mainly defends him in almost every way.

**MBStarcream: Try to mind control him? That won’t work, as Sonic’s aura has shown multiple times Sonic will not allow that. Try to wrap reality and erase Sonic from existence? Eggman has tried that many times and it still backfires. Sonic can even nullify power and magic in most other experienced hax users. This is excluding the plot armor he gets where he will always win in the end, but again that fate manipulation stuff is questionable, yet the Toon Force kinda supports it.**

Hiro: Althought the Pure Hearts gave Paper Mario a huge boost, Sonic' Super forms gave him a vastly superior increase in power, especially Ultra Sonic. In this form, Sonic can move time forward with sheer speed alone, and control atoms and matter with ease.

**MBStarscream: Paper Mario *could've* had a chance to potentially win with abilities like Lullaby to put Sonic to sleep or Thoreau to steal the Chaos Emeralds, or the Star Rod to bypass any of Sonic's stats and arsenal, but the logic-breaking scope of Sonic's own abilities meant that Paper Mario probably couldn't exploit any opening before he was outmatched.**

Hiro: While both were the strongest versions of Nintendo and Sega's mascots, there was little Paper Mario could do against Sonic's haxes, Chaos Force mastery and arsenal.

**MBStarscream: Paper Mario just got folded by his Arch-ie rival.**

Hiro: Archie Sonic wins.

## Advantages

### Archie Sonic (Winner)

* Speed wasn't even close to a contest
* Stronger
* More durable
* Reality warping could help him
* One billionth power ring
* Fate and probability hax
* More versatile and far more powerful transformations