Robot Revolution

**Robot Revolution** is the second episode of Season 1 of Farzar. It is the second episode, overall.

## Synopsis

Scootie gets banished to the robot district and incited a rebellion against humans. Bazarack plans an attack on Dome City but wants to do it in style.

## Plot

Barry Barris rushes Scootie’s dismembered penis to the emergency room and gives it CPR, which unsurprisingly, fails. Scootie is heartbroken to see his dick get removed like this. Barry tells Scootie that there’s only one solution now and that’s to give him a robotic replacement. Scootie goes in for the surgery and wakes up with a tiny little robo-chode, since Barry modeled it after his own penis. Scootie asks if he can get a Black or Pacific Islander doctor in there instead.

Renzo once again thanks Fichael for killing Bazarack and shows him how he mounted the head of Bazarack onto a plaque on his wall. Renzo also shows off how he reprogrammed the severed Bazarack head to sing Cotton-Eyed Joe for his amusement. Renzo also rewards Fichael by giving him his first ever dad hug. Fichael, while flustered by his father’s respect, tells Renzo that while they’re on the topic of Bazarack, they really need to discuss his treatment if the alien people, but Renzo changes the subject to give Fichael a "promotion" and put him in charge if his Bullshit Meter. Renzo makes it apparent that he doesn’t want to deal with any bullshit and is tasking Fichael with keeping the meter below "Mmm-Hmm". When Fichael tries to ask about the aliens, Renzo raises the bullshit meter to "Oh, Hell naw!".

Fichael goes into the meeting room for the S.H.A.T. squad and announces his victory in getting respect from his dad. Just then, he gets a holographic portal message from a very upset Bazarack, who's still-developing head is now entering its teenage phase, giving Bazarack a bunch of pimples, acne, and unkempt facial hair. Bazarack calls Fichael a traitor for decapitating him and going back to work for his father but Fichawl tries to convince Bazarack that he's still on his side and just trying to convince Renzo to be a nicer person. Bazarack still doesn't buy it, reiterating that Renzo is a stone-cold tyrant, who's rotten to the core. Just then, Zobo pops out and Bazarack is horrified to see that Fichael has allowed a chaos-celot into his kingdom. When asked what a chaos-celot is, Bazarack explains they're an insanely dangerous species of aliens, who wreak havoc and mayhem wherever they go. For instance; he encountered a chaos-celot once and he subscribed him to a hat company, which got him a ridiculous new hat sent to his home every month. Although Bazarack admits he likes a lot of them. Clitaris tells Bazarack to lie about the chaos-celot so that Fichael can keep it and destroy Dome City with it and Bazarack clumsily disguises his lie by saying that he meant to say Zobo is *not* a chaos-celot and Fichael, being Fichael, stupidly believed it. The only person aware that Zobo was really dangerous was Billy, who tried to point this out to Fichael but Fichael completely ignored him.

Scootie entered the room by drilling a hole in the wall with his newly built, massive robot schlong that has a power drill for a glans and several other meaningless upgrades, such as a computer screen to play *Oregon Trail* on. Billy pointed out that Scootie was just using his big dick to compensate for his physical weakness and shitty personality but Scootie denied this.

Scootie later had sex with a girl but as soon as be brought out his robot penis, she was terrified by the massive weapon and ran away, screaming. Barry asked Scootie if he wanted him to retrieve her with his Pussy Magnet and Scootie told Barry that he had no business watching him have sex. Barry contradicted this, saying that since he built Scootie’s robot penis, he had a user agreement, allowing him full legal rights to watch all of Scootie’s penis-related activities.

Val and Mal were not present at the S.H.A.T. meeting, since it was Val's day to work her second job as the teacher of T.T. Barr Elementary. Mal expressed disgust with going to the school and threatened to shoot herself so Val had her activate her VR Headset while she taught. Mal went into a VR world of puppy dogs and instead of killing them, she cuddled and played with them all for being so cute. Val put a brown paper bag over Mal's head so nobody would have to see her.

In the school, Val was greeted by Principal Carter, who she had lied to before about having an unsightly boil on her shoulder, explaining her brown paper bag. Carter, having a massive fetish for boils, tried to sneak a peek underneath but Val slapped his hand away. Nevertheless, that Principal Carter was determined to one day see her boil. He cackled maniacally and then a kid interrupted his evil monologue to tell him that he was standing in front of his cubby.

Scootie later bagged extreme daredevil girl, Denise Deathwish, who was more willing to have sex with a dangerous robot's weaponized penis. Scootie spun her around on his dick and Denise cranked the penis' energy up to 10, causing her to spin around and eventually die, leaving stains of blood and guts all over the walls.

The police came in to observe the mess they had made and said that they'd be sending Scootie back to the Robot District, where he and all of the other robots belong. Scootie corrected the cop, that he was actually a cyborg but upon scanning him, the cop found that he was actually 100% robot on account of him losing his last human part. The cop reminded Scootie that as a robot, he lacks any basic human rights and as such, he'll be freezing his assets, evicting him from his apartment, and deleting his *Ralph's* loyalty number.

Scootie was then sent to the Robot District with all of the other sub-human robots. The first robot he met was the sexually seductive, HoBot and her built-in pimp, PimpBot. PimpBot assured Scootie that HoBot had been tested for viruses … she that she tested positive. Technically, he didn't say that she was clean, he just said she'd been tested. The next person Scootie met was Slag, who threatened the new guy in prison, saying that if he gets on his bad side, he'll give him the Slag Slam. When asked what the Slag Slam was, Slag dodged the question and had Beeps tell him instead but Beeps didn't know what it was either, since Slag always threatens to Slag Slam people but never actually does it. After having his bluff called one too many times, Slag attempted to "Slag Slam" Scootie, only to fake a phone call and then run away, suggesting that he has no idea what it is either. Pimpbot comes up and asks Scootie if Slag is bothering him to which Scootie responds that he's not sure.

Scootie sneaks into The Castle of Dome City, wearing a Renzo mask just so that he can see Fichael. Renzo takes the mask off of him so that he can use it during sex with Flammy, apparently requiring her to wear a mask of himself to helm him get turned on. Scootie complains about how he lost his human rights to Fichael but Fichael sees this as a good thing because now, he gets to make Scootie his personal robot. Fichael forces Scootie to do a bunch of stupid things for him like singing Cotton-Eyed Joe with him and Bazarack's head, practicing kissing on him, swimming around in the sewers, and making Scootie stir up food with his drill penis so that he can drink it. Fichael tastes the remains of Denise Deathwish in there.

After a long day of being abused by his human superiors, Scootie goes to vent to the rest of the robots in the robot district about his mistreatment. Toiletbot tells him to quit being a martyr since he's at least not having his throat shat down. Scootie ignores him and questions why robots have to be treated like this anyway and PimpBot tells him that this is just the way it is. Scootie refuses to accept this and goes up to the podium to make a statement, instigating a protest against human abuse. Slag agrees with this and says they should give them the Slag Slam. Beeps points out that Slag only started bringing up the Slag Slam since his son died. Slag denies having even noticed that his son died because he was too busy doing the Slag Slam.

The next day, Renzo wakes up and finds out that Toiletbot is missing and falls flat on his ass. Renzo later goes over to his bed and demands PantsBot to put on his pants but PantsBot never comes. This is troublesome for Renzo because he doesn't know how to put on pants, himself. Renzo goes to see Fichael about the issue and Fichael has his pants on his head, also not knowing how to put on his own pants. Renzo notices a Robot Strike going on outside and tells Fichael that he's not doing his job and need to get his ugly pantsless ass down there to defuse the protest before he raises his bullshit meter. Just then, the easel he holds his bullshit meter turns into Easelbot and quits his job on the spot. Renzo worries for Easelbot because that guy is an alcoholic and without a steady job, he'll soon be drinking and boozing at a nearby bar. Fichael points out that there's bigger problems to worry about, since the energy dome around Dome City is powered by robots running by hamster wheels. Just then, Scootie comes into the energy core and calls for all of the robots to leave for the strike. The robots all jump off and the energy dome dismantles, leaving Dome City completely unprotected and vulnerable to the outside world.

Over at Bazarack's Kingdom, Gorpzorp compliments Bazarack's stupid choo choo train hat and Bazarack tells Gorpzorp that it's not supposed to be stupid. His dead mother left him the damn hat in her will. Clitaurus announces to Bazarack that the energy dome has just fallen down and strongly urges him to invade immediately but Bazarack wants to make this a very special invasion and throw an entire parade for the invasion. Clitaurus tells Bazarack that they have no idea low long the energy dome will be down so they should just go at once. Bazarack fucks this and requests tons of frivolous bullshit for the invasion parade including but not limited to; karate wizards, disco sluts, and rock and roll squid. Clitaurus tells Bazarack that squid are extinct so this is impossible but Bazarack just tells his ass to figure it the fuck out.

At T.T. Barr Elementary, Val teaches her class about making macaroni arts and crafts, even though she knows that under Renzo's government, art is a felony. Scootie announces the robot strike over the school intercom and Mal's VR Headset comes to life and leaps off of her body to run away, along with Ms. Radcliffe's artificial heart. With Mal out of her VR world, he takes off her bag and starts talking in the real world, despite Val's opposition. Mal tells the kids that instead of them making arts and crafts, they should be learning about how to instigate a revolution and overthrow their first oppressor. A little boy says that he already started making his artwork, which gets him arrested by an undercover cop, pretending to be another kid.

While Fichael goes out to quell the robot strike, he leaves Zobo to be petsat by Billy. Billy reminds Fichael about how Bazarack let it slip that Zobo is actually a chaos-celot but Fichael laughs this off as nonsense. Fichael couldn't possibly believe that Zobo could be anything more than a cute, sweet, adorable little bunny rabbit and then leaves. As soon as Fichael's out the door, Zobo starts talking like a person. Billy is surprised to hear Zobo speaking, especially in such a rude manner. Zobo talks back against Billy as he digs through a box of Barry's Inventions and tells him that he snatched Fichael's wallet and is gunna use it and some of Barry's stolen devices to have a little fun and he wants Billy to come with him. Zobo takes Billy down to Pablo's Pussy Playground to have some fun at a strip club.

Scootie makes an impassioned speech about his revolution to the rest of the robots but because it's taking such a long time, he decided to just go on ahead and air drop his entire speech to everybody. Fichael comes in to see what all the hubbub is about and Slag wedgies him, threatening to give him the Slag Slam, which is either a song, a dance, or a fighting technique. When asked by Scootie what he's even doing down there, Fichael proclaims that it's part of his new civic duty to keep the bullshit meter down by ending the robot strike.

Back at the castle, Fichael announces to Renzo that he officially ended the robot strike ... by caving in to all of their demands, such as giving the robots free electricity, two years of Apple care, and letting the toilet robots shit down the humans' throats every other day. Renzo is not happy with how Fichael negotiated with the robots and tells him to instead have their leader executed. Although Fichael is hesitant to kill Scootie, his own best friend, he accepts when Renzo says that he'll give him a kiss if he does. In the mean time, Renzo tries to figure out how to put on his pants. Barry comes in with a crowbot, a giant cyborg crow, who was programmed to put Renzo's pants on. All the crowbot does is take out a laser gun and shoot himself dead.

At T.T. Barr Elementary, Principal Carter sits and reads a Playboil magazine, when his office is broken into by an army of angry children, who attack him and beat him to a bloody pulp. Val rushes in to end the rampage but Mal is of course, right by her side, to reward the kids for overthrowing their first oppressor, by giving them all gold stars straight across the map. Carter is obviously livid and suspends Val without pay. Val stupidly assumes this is because she allowed the children to beat the shit out of him but he actually says that it's because he just now discovered that she doesn't have a sexy boil on her shoulder after all. Instead, all she has is a hideous, unsightly Siamese twin. Principal Carter also blurts out that he spent countless hours jerking off in the heating vents to a lie.

Bazarack watches as his army organizes his upcoming parade for him but he's not happy to see a pink Space Dragon. Gorpzorp pleads that this was the only space dragon they could find. Bazarack continues to moan about how his snappily-dressed monkeys on slits aren't snappily-dressed enough and the sassy cowboys aren't sassy enough. Just then, Clitaurus comes in and gives Bazarack some exciting news; he has finally obtained the rock and roll squid he went to get earlier. Clitaurus details his long and harrowing journey to getting the squid. It all began when he flew his ship out to the distant water-based planet, HR-13, where there were some squids in the water and spent millennia training the squid to play xylophone music. Fortunately for Clitaurus, time moves way slower on HR-13, so one millennium on HR-13 was equivalent to 5 minutes on Farzar, giving him plenty of time to train the squids to evolve over the generations. To keep himself alive for all of this, Clitaurus built a cloning machine to make a lively and youthful clone of himself every time he got old and gray. His new clone would toss his old corpse into a pile of Clitaurus corpses, of which there were many rotting away. After about 20 lifespans later, Clitaurus finally taught the squids how to play rock and roll music. However, their medley was soulless and devoit of spirit, so he taught the squids how to live the rock and roll life by getting them crossed on drugs and booze and having them party their lives away in apartment buildings with slutty strippers. After this, the squids had finally formed a great and excellent super band of glorious rock and roll music, straight out of the ultimate musical decade, the 1980's. And so, without further adieu, Clitaurus presents to Bazarack; Rock and Roll Squid. Clitaurus reveals the excellent rock band of squids that he busted his ass trying to make for him and all Bazarack can think of doing is telling him to get them out of there, not being pleased at all with the results.

Billy and Zobo chillax at Pablo's Pussy Playground, as does a cunt-drunk Easelbot, who cheats on his wife by getting his face pelted silly by a stripper shitting eggs into it. As much of a blast as Zobo is having, he decides to crank the crazy up a notch by using his freeze ray on the strippers and customers to freeze them in time. Zobo angles the egg-shitting stripper around, pisses in a guy's shot glass, moves a guy who's about to light a cigarette closer to this shot-taker, uses a guy's cellphone to order a "Rush Delivery Pie Fight", screws a black UV light into the bar ceiling lamp, and pushes a frozen Billy right in front of a lobster tank. After that, he unfreezes everybody and watches the madness ensure. The shot-tanker drinks Zobo's piss and in spits it into the cigarette smoker's face in disgust, spitting the piss straight through the lighter flame and immolating the smoker completely. Meanwhile, the stripper shits two eggs right into a guy's eyes, blinding him and making him run around aimlessly until he crashes into a woman and honks her boobs. Strip club owner, Pablo sees this and punches the man out for breaking the rule forbidding touching the girls. That guy gets bodyslammed into a table and the two guys sitting at the table beat the living tar out of him. Just then, the flaming smoker runs up and crashes into them, joining the fight, himself. Confused by the chaos, Pablo turns on the lights and the UV lights reveal how the entire strip club is practically painted with semen. There are semen splotches all over the walls, floor, ceiling, and furniture. But that's not all. It's also on people's clothing and in people's drinks. This causes tons of strip club attendees to vomit all over the place. Billy gets unfrozen right by the lobster tank and smashes it open, causing a flood. Zobo is already just basking in the chaos at this point. Soon enough, all the clowns from the "Rush Delivery Pie Fight" come in and start prancing around the minefield of madness, hurling pies at random strangers and just making everything already-chaotic-enough under the UV rays take a free-flying nosedive straight downwards into an neverending void of complete and utter Hell. Before Zobo soaks in any more chaos, he puts the icing on the cake by using the wormhole watch to open a portal to the netherlands, releasing the rock and roll squid into the area. The rock and roll squid screech their latest single, "All Night Long" to the club and turn the madhouse into a musical madhouse, which pisses Pablo right the fuck off. Zobo absorbs the beautiful destruction like a poisonous sponge and floats off of the ground, shooting a bunch of lighting bolts out of his body and destroying everything in sight. Billy runs up and grabs Zobo, carrying the madlad outside of the burning strip club just as it crumbles down and kills pretty much everybody inside. As Zobo gazes upon the incinerating rubble of his disasterpiece, he's actually kind of surprised to see that he did such a thing. Billy admits that he got a wee bit carried to Timbuktu as well, confessing that he jizzed all over the floor after seeing a stripper with a shaved taint. With all of that said and out of the way, Billy jokes that Zobo's chaos was *monstrously* out of control back there and that instead of being a "Chaos-Alot", he should just be a "Chaos-Alittle". Zobo and Billy both share a laugh but then Zobo instantly freezes the behemoth again with his freeze ray and fucks that guy in complete disgust.

Back at Val and Mal's Apartment, Val rants at Mal for getting her suspended from work. Mal retorts that Val was being disrespectful to her first by bagging her head so that the kids wouldn't have to see her. This argument soon turns into a physical fight, which gets broken up by their vestigial triplet, Sal, who lives between their boobs. Sal tells his sisters that they should quit complaining, since their lives are so much better than his. Val and Mal find that they can agree on one thing; they both hate Sal. Val and Mal sever Sal from their body with a kitchen knife and then flush him down the toilet before sharing a fist bump.

Scootie is summoned down to a dark alley, where he sees Fichael, who's being forced to do something he doesn't want to do, as per his father's demands. Fichael sadly tells him that someone very close to him is going to betray him. Scootie assumes it's random nobodies like Barry, Easelbot, and Val & Mal before he even begins to question Fichael. Even as Scootie gets arrested by the police, he's still puzzled as to who's "going to" betray him.

The grand event of the Execution of Scootie finally begins and Scootie is brought to the guillotine, while all of his robot brethren watch. Renzo announces that Scootie has taken things to the second-highest bullshit level; "In my office now, McNulty." Before he dies, Scootie announces to everybody that although they may kill him, they can not kill his loyalty to the movement. All of the robots display holograms of Scootie as a show of commitment to him. Fichael comes up and gives Scootie a big fat hug before he dies and gets all sexual with him, rubbing up on him like a gay guy. Finally, Scootie goes to get himself decapitated and then Renzo drops the guillotine blade on his, chopping his head off and rolls behind his ass as his head powers down ... only to soon power back on later, via cloud backup, as he notices he has a human taint made of human flesh growing off of his crotch. Renzo takes a look at this and scans Scootie to find out that he's right. Scootie is actually 1% human, technically classifying him as a cyborg. Renzo realizes his "mistake" and un-arrests Scootie and gives him back all his human rights again. Now that Scootie is being treated as equals to the humans again, he turns on his robot brethren and sends them back to the robot district.

Outside of Dome City, Bazarack has finally finished his parade and at long last, leads the Invasion Parade to take down Dome City, while it's defenseless and unarmed. Just then, the energy dome starts to form again, thanks to the little robots running on the hamster wheel again. Bazarack has to rush everything and starts whipping the reins on his space dragon, to get it moving things along quicker. The dragon steps on and kills some paradesmen in front of him and Bazarack starts cussing at and insulting the stupid dragon. This pisses the dragon off and makes him buck Bazarack off, leading him to land on a drum and bounce right back into the dragon's asshole, plugging it up and making it go mad. IN a fit of flaming fury, the dragon breathes fire on a giant papier-mâché sculpure of Bazarack's head filled with fireworks and dynamite, causing a bunch of uncontrolled explosions to go off at the worst possible time. This is enough chaos to get Zobo blasting lasers out all willy nilly and enjoying the madness of the failed parade. The fireworks are enough to make a snappily-dressed monkey fall off his stilts and land on a crate full of pigeons, releasing them all into the skies just as some more firework rockets go off, blowing them all up and sending their blood and feathers flying. The dragon on the other hand, goes bananas and then squeezes Bazarack out of his shitter, sending him cannon balling into the now-completely resealed energy dome. Bazarack getting slammed against the energy dome causes him to get electrocuted and fried. Bazarack's charred, shit-drenched body plops to the ground and some asshole comes up and takes a picture of it, to preserve in the history books for generations to come.

Renzo looks upon his enslaved city of robots and admires how everything has gone back to normal and thanks Fichael for setting things straight. Even Easelbot has been forced to get back to work once again. Just then, the photographer from become comes up and shows everybody the shitty pictures of Bazarack he took, announcing how he's still alive and still active. Renzo is so pissed off about this, that he raises his bullshit meter to the highest level, "This Level Has No Name, I'm Just Gunna Stand Here and Flare My Nostrils So You Know You Fucked Up." Fichael isn't too beat up about how his dad lost his respect for him because at least Scootie has gained respect for him. Scootie notices that Fichael must have planted that human taint on him while giving him the borderline-molestation hug just before his execution, narrowly saving his life. Fichael says that yep, he did in fact, give Scootie that taint, to help and make him a human again. Fichael says he found the taint in the sewers. Scootie turns around and shows Fichael his taint, which just so happens to be none other than Sal, who's still alive after being flushed down the toilet and has now found a new home on a new siamese twin.

## Characters

### Major Roles

* Renzo
* Fichael
* Scootie
* Val Skullcruncher
* Mal Skullcruncher
* Barry Barris
* Billy
* Zobo
* Bazarack

### Minor Roles

* Flammy
* Clitaurus
* Gorpzorp
* Slag
* Beeps
* Denise Deathwish
* Easelbot
* Rock and Roll Squid
* Crowbot
* Principal Carter
* Sal Skullcruncher
* Vibratorbot (Cameo)
* Tito (Cameo)
* Toiletbot (Cameo)
* Red Rocker (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Blue Bomber (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Mr. Barris (Mentioned)

## Songs

* Cotton Eye Joe
* All Night Long

## Trivia

* Renzo gives Fichael his first daddy hug.
* Barry Barris was apparently molested by his father.
* Val goes to her other job at T.T. Barr Elementary.
* Barry is on probation for sexual harassment.
* It's revealed that Mal has a secret guilty pleasure of adoring puppy dogs, which goes against her hardcore nature.
* Having lost his final human appendage, Scootie is now legally classified as a robot instead of a cyborg.
* Bazarack's mom died and left him a stupid hat in her will.
* Zobo has the ability to speak English.
* During the madhouse event at Pablo's Pussy Playground, Barry can briefly be seen, running by with a stripper stuck to his pussy magnet.
* Val and Mal are revealed to have a third conjoined brother named Sal, who's underdeveloped and growing in between their boobs. He is later severed and flushed down the toilet.
	+ Sal is later surgically attached to Scooty's ass, which legally turns the latter back into a cyborg again now that he technically has a working human body part.

### Continuity

* The events of "Welcome to Farzar" are continued:
	+ Scootie's dick is still dismembered after it was cut off by the sliding doors at the end of the episode.
	+ Renzo installed the severed head of Bazarack on his wall, after he was decapitated by Fichael.
	+ Renzo tries to distract Fichael from asking him about his treatment of the aliens, which he learned about from Bazarack.
	+ Bazarack's head grows back.

### Cultural References

* The severed head of Bazarack sings "*Cotton Eye Joe*".
* The marching band tunes that were heard during Bazarack's march towards Dome City are from "*In the Navy*" by Village People.
* Scootie has the ability to play *Oregon Trail* on his penis.
* Scootie loses his loyalty number to the fast food restaurant, *Ralph's*.
* Two of the robots in the Robot District are *Red Rocker* and *Blue Bomber* from the *Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots* action toy.
* The Rock and Roll Squid are modeled after the band *KISS*.
* Fichael telling Scootie that someone close to him is about to betray him is a reference to *The Last Supper*.
* Renzo's bullshit level, "In my office now, McNulty." is a reference to the character, *Cedric Daniels* from *The Wire*, who is also played by Renzo's voice actor, Lance Reddick.
* The circles at the end of the episode around Sal parody the circles at the end of *Looney Tunes*.

## See Also

**Season 1**

Welcome to Farzar • **Robot Revolution** • Save the Reaper Demons • St. Pudchugger's Day • The Adventures of Daddy O'Baggins • Flammily Reunion • Baz, Bangs, and Brains • The Great and Powerful Ozner • Memory Wars • War and Peace