Cassette 4: Sadness, Lungs

**Relaxation Cassette #4**

> *"Take your time. This may be difficult. This is*supposed *to be difficult. Relaxation is difficult, is it not? It is. You are apprehensive. This is natural. Steel yourself. Breathe."*
>
>

## Side A: **The Air in Here**

### Breathing exercise

Hester begins by identifying a part of Oleta's body that is not her own, in her abdomen. Above her left hip is a device which is described as having dozens of long "legs" that usually stay curled up. The "creature" extracts and stores all of the memories that havebeen removed from Oleta's consciousness.

For the first time, Hester describes herself, although in the third person. She was smaller than Oleta as a child, though not by much, and has brown hair and blue eyes. She and Oleta used to tell each other secrets, such as that they were scared about their older siblings turning ten years old. She says that after she turned 10 and went through Programming, she studied art history and theory. She was later moved to the Institute to study people.

Hester then switched to first person, directly referencing the encounters they had had after the memory wipes. Hester said that Oleta had not remembered her, only Nell, and that this had been upsetting, because Hester could remember Oleta. She then explicitly expressed a desire to get Oleta out of the Institute.

## Side B: **The Confines of Freedom**

### Visualisation exercise

Hester states that the visualisation is about survival. She begins describing the walk through the woods that Oleta should take, followed by the climbing, and how tiring it will be. She reminds Oleta that delusions of eventual comfort in the cave behind the waterfall might be helpful.

Hester then walks Oleta through how to steal food from the Institute. She does this by detailing how perishable each item she receives will be and where she can hide the food she saves. She also says that the river water is not clean enough to drink and will need to be boiled, and Oleta will therefore also need to procure a pot from the kitchen somehow. She will also need wood and matches for a fire. Hester says she will make sure that Oleta has clothes waiting for her in the cave.

Hester quite forcefully reminds Oleta not to act on any of this information yet. Worried about how Oleta is receiving the tapes, she requests that as she is listening in her chair, she give a nod if she remembers her. She says that she will be watching the camera for her response. Hester also asks her to find the philosophical text “We Have Always Lived in the Castle” by Shirley Jackson in the Library, open it to page 167, and circle the word “temerity.” The purpose of this is unclear.

## Additional info

* This episode is the first time the narrator refers to herself as an individual person, with a will independent of the Institute's.
* This episode is where Jeffrey Cranor and Janina Matthewson started discussing an outline for the season in depth. The tone and form of the ending was discussed at length.
* During writing, Jeffrey Cranor didn't question whether or not Hester cared for Oleta, but did consider whether or not Oleta cared for Hester.

## References

1. ↑ Within the Wires (Jeffrey Cranor) on Twitter: "while the Institue is offended that the listener is remembering separated families, the narrator is offended that listener does not remember her. this is our first you/me acknowledgement by the narrator. -jc"
2. ↑ Within the Wires (Jeffrey Cranor) on Twitter: "episode 4 was about where we started to outline the rest of the season. there was a lot of back & forth about how we would end it. about happy vs nebulous vs sad vs twist endings. -jc"
3. ↑ Within the Wires (Jeffrey Cranor) on Twitter: ""i will take care of you. i will always take care of you." i never had a question that the narrator cared truly for the listener (happy). my only question was whether the listener cared for the narrator (nebulous). -jc"