2020 Power Rankings-Week 7

## Introduction

Happily writing to you today from my comfy spot in 10th place. Normally I'd be waxing poetic about how terrible life is and why I actually deserve to be 7-0, even though there have only been six weeks, and life is so tough for me and blah blah blah. But not today. Today I'm happy. And you know why. Because you're happy too.

The number of words in the above paragraph is the same as the number of whole points Shotti scored this week. 63. Look at that paragraph. It's tiny! Now I know that a loss counts as one loss no matter how many points you score. My 200.14 counts the same as his 63.25, but despite that, it just feels different. Shotti's legacy in shambles. The dynasty gone from Brady to Brian Hoyer. His trophies are embarrased to be in the same room as him. It's a "dance on the grave" kind of loss for The Shotti Bunch. And Shotti, if you're reading this, you know it's only out of respect that we do this. Because you terrorized us for so fucking long. Half a decade you reigned over all of us, made us your bitch. And this week....well, it's just good to win one.

## How Bad Was It?

Let the record show that Shotti set a lineup this week. This is NOT a situation of him starting injured players or forgetting to swap out bye guys. This was a complete active roster.

So let's review just how epic of a defeat this was for Shotti.

### Lowest Single-Game Regular Season Scores

First up we have the regular season scores. As we see in the below chart, Paddock 9 held the record for almost the entire existance of the league. Up until October 19th, 2020.

Shotti has recorded just the third regular season score below 100 points, and the first below 80.

In November of 2011, when Paddock 9 set the record, he started three players who were on a bye, including his QB and WR1 (Vick and Julio Jones, respectively).

When Papa's Posse nearly broke Paddock's record (ironically, against Paddock) in 2013, he had 11 starters and one of them scored negative points.

Shotti accomplished the feat by having two players not get a single touch in their games. Cam Akers, inexplicably, did not get a single carry after coming off a 9 carry, 61 yard game. John Brown dropped all four of his targets. This is the second time this season John Brown had 2 or more targets and 0 fantasy points.

Now folks, here is some poetry in motion for you:

In 2011, Julian Edelman started for Paddock 9's 80.50 point team. He had 0 catches and just 13 return yards for a total of 1.3 points.

In 2020, Julian Edelman started for Shotti's 63.25 point team. He faired slightly better. 2 Rec for 8 yards, and 38 passing yards. His 5.12 points was good enough to place him as the 3rd highest scorer of the day on Shotti's team. So Edelman has been involved in the two worst performances in LOC history, nine seasons apart.

### Lowest Single-Game Postseason Scores

Just to complete our review of the suckiest of the suckers, here are the postseason performances.

## Stat Chat

* Duck Punchers becomes the 1st team to reach 80 regular season wins.
* Pain Train becomes the 2nd team to reach 70 regular season wins.
* Momma becomes the 5th team to reach 70 combined wins. Their four game win streak has taken them from two games behind GBM to two games ahead of GBM on the all-time win/loss list.
* GBM's five-game skid is their worst since 2014, when they finished 3-10.
* Paddock 9 is the only team with an active streak of consecutive games over 200 points that is more than two games.
* Momma becomes the 4th team to break 200 in 70 regular season and 80 combined games.
* Pain Train becomes the 5th team to break 200 in 80 combined games.

## Shoddy Start

It's clear that Shotti is off to a bad start, but we all know this is a big deal simply because he has been so good for so long. Notoriously, for the history buffs, we know Shotti's September is his weakest month. But through six weeks, how has Shotti faired over the years? Is this really as bad as he's ever been?

Yes, something clearly is not right with Shotti's team. This is the first time they failed to reach 1248 points through six weeks and also the first time they are below 3 wins this late in the year. There is still a lot of football left to play...

## Top 10 Best Scores Through Week Six

At the other end of the spectrum, Duck is absolutely dominating in 2020. Their 1516 points is the best score through six weeks in LOC history. This is not to detract from Duck's start because you still need a good draft to have a team like this, but DP has gotten extremely lucky with injuries to this point. While everyone has lost a crucial piece of their puzzle at some point, Duck has largely avoided the defining injury.

Let's see how his start ranks among the best ever:

There has only been one 6-0 team in LOC history. That was RIPDab in 2013. That means if you were to create standings with the ten teams from each season (and the 12 from 2011), Duck Punchers would be in second place out of 102 teams.

## Matchup Recaps

* Duck breaks 250 for the 4th time this year and officially sends Sweet Dee into her annual death spiral (7-5). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Momma takes down dad-to-be Dab and extends their league best win streak to four games (6-10). **Next Matchup: Week 12**
* Paddock 9 gets just their 2nd win against GBM since 2014 and moves into a tie for 2nd place (7-11). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Stupid Idiots just needed to show up to snap their three-game losing streak against a reeling Shotti Bunch (2-4). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Pain Train's team begins to take shape as a mostly-healthy squad beats back an ailing Papa's Posse (9-8). **Next Matchup: Week 8**

## Trade Tracker

LET'S GET THE PARTY STARTED!

Starts:

* Mixon: 1
* CEH: 1

Round one clearly goes to Pain Train, the one who wanted this deal canceled. And now Mixon is hurt for week seven. But today will be a huge test as Lev Bell gets his first start.

Starts (Pain Train):

* Metcalf: 1

Starts (Sweet Dee)

* Chark: 2
* Kelley: 1
* Slayton: 2

Both Metcalf and Kelley were on the bye this week.

Starts:

* Freeman: 2
* Miller: 1

Is this going to be the stupidest trade we ever track. Scotty Miller was dropped by Pat and Freeman is hurt for GBM.

## The Greatest Game - Week Six

Week six of 2020 was the least dramatic yet, but that doesn't mean there haven't been some amazing matchups in our league's past.

### 2014 - Sweet Dee vs. Garoppoblow Me

* Final Score: 235.98-221.48
* Why it's Nominated: A controversial roster move from GBM raises tensions across the entire league as Dee calls out Commish for "only winning because of a bull shit trade" before coming from behind to defeat him.

One of the more hotly contested matchups in the LOC is Sweet Dee vs. GBM. GBM kicked Dee's ass by over 70 points in their matchups in 2013 and 2014. But the rivalry was officially born in October of 2015.

Days before their week 6 contest, which was a showdown of 4-1 (GBM) and 3-2 (Dee), GBM completed a trade with Paddock 9 that at the time was considered controversial. Try not to laugh:

Chris Ivory for Darren Sproles.

Paddock 9 was 1-4 and selling his team for picks, and at the time Chris Ivory was hot and Sproles was...not. The trade included draft picks, always a contentious topic in the LOC and Dee is an outspoken anti-pick trader. It was bad enough that Ivory was clearly more talented than Sproles, but as soon as the trade went through Paddock DROPPED Sproles (who would then get concussed and not play on Sunday).

Sweet Dee had just traded a top-10 WR in Emmanuel Sanders for Marshawn Lynch, who at that point in the season had only scored 36 fantasy points and was dealing with a nagging leg injury, leading many to say "jeez, this is definitely a once in a lifetime mistake by Chantel and she will definitely not do something exactly like this five years from now."

Tensions got so high that when Chris Ivory went off for 196 total yards in the 1PM window, Sweet Dee sounded off in the thread that Commish was only going to win because of a "bull shit trade."

The excuse machine was firing on all cylinders, but it wasn't necessary. Trailing by 33.50 points, Dee's Philly defense absolutely went OFF on Monday Night Football against the New York Giants. Back in 2015, tackles for losses were worth a point. Philly had 8 of them. Add in a pick-six, under 300 yards allowed, and only 7 points allowed, and it was enough for 48 points and a massive comeback against the league's first place team.

GBM would finish with a bye but only make it to 4th place in the playoffs, while Dee finished 5th. In the end, it all amounted to little more than a bunch of bull shit for these two teams in 2015.

## Power Rankings

### 1(1). Duck Punchers

At 5-1, Duck only needs one more win to probably clinch playoffs, and two more wins to definitely make it to the dance. But they have their mark set on the bye and five of their last seven games are against teams with 2 wins or less. Everything is working right now for Duck.

### 2(2). Paddock 9

Five straight games over 200 points is enough to lead the league and once again will be starting a defense against the Jets. Last week Miami managed 32 against New York, what can Buffalo do to a returning Bradford in week seven?

### 3(3). RIPDab

The second-highest scoring team in the league is currently in 7th place. For just the 2nd time this year, the team they were playing failed to break 200. But for just the 2nd time this year, so did RIPDab.

### 5(4). The Stupid Idiots

Imagine getting handed the matchup where literally any score in the entire ten year history of the league would have beaten your opponent?

### 6(7). Pain Train

This week they roll out Julio Jones, Davante Adams, Robert Woods, and DK Metcalf. And they get to face Garoppoblow Me. Jesus Christ.

### 7(5). Sweet Dee

From 2nd to 7th ranked in just two weeks. Projected to lose this week to momma, Dee really needs a victory to boost morale and save their team from another October slump.

### 8(9). Garoppoblow Me

Last week it was Kamara and Thomas, this week it's Taylor and Hollywood. Michael Thomas is still hurt and now it is being reported that he may not return until week 9. By then, Antonio Brown will have joined the Bucs and Mike Evans stock will be way down. The team just never came together this year. Tough pill to swallow.

### 9(8). Papa's Posse

Papa has had the toughest schedule of the season so far and is the only team to have over 1400 scored against them, but it doesn't help that they are also the 8th lowest scoring team (right above Pain Train). Things don't get any easier this week with Dalvin Cook on a bye.

### 10(10). The Shotti Bunch

I think enough has been said about the terribleness about this team, but let's be fair. They DID have a lot of guys on a bye. Let's see if they can recover this week vs (checks schedule) 5-1 Duck Punchers.

## Matchup of the Week - Mom vs. Momma

It's the battle of the moms for the first time in LOC history. Sweet Dee, soon to be a real life mom, goes up against fantasy momma Jared. This matchup has no business being the matchup of the week and looking at the schedule a month ago I was positive it would be Shotti vs. Duck. But out of nowhere we have a showdown of two 4-2 teams. The winner is put in a precious position. Your playoff probability goes WAY up if you start 5-2. Momma has not won more than 6 games in a season since 2015, so getting to 5 with 6 left to play is huge for their comeback. Dee, on the other hand, has never won more than 6 games in a season. 5-2 puts them in special territory as well.