Janet

**Janet** is the hypothetically well-attested Grand Archduchess of the gods, part-time pagan goddess, and niece of God himself. She is known for several accomplishments, including the creation of the Loan Shark and several proofs of bounds on ɕ-1, coauthored with Satan, Heav, Ešónn Krčíes, and others.

## Deeds

Janet's major accomplishments include but are not limited to the creation of the Loan Shark, the invention of banking, and the aforementioned proof regarding ɕ.

Some of her more minor accomplishments include the founding of a brief and unsuccessful line of chocolate-coated beef. Janet was also responsible for asking God to end the Squab Prong War.

## Appearance

Being a deity, Janet is not confined to one physical form. However, in all forms she enjoys wearing a top hat.

## Attributes

Janet is known for being very gossipy; in particular, she has spread a famously deep rumor about Stonehenge. However, she also has some attributes. She is known to have a somewhat mischievous side. Despite her propensity to spread rumors, Janet is learned and she has a great understanding of academic subjects. She has also infrequently participated in the Olympics, though she rarely does so, citing "death being kind of painful" as her reason for avoiding it. Being a deity, death is not permanent for her; she from time to time participates in the Olympics until death "just for fun"

## Biography

### Early Life

Janet was born on Saugust 37 on the year of the creation of the Universe. She was the daughter of God's younger brother, ɣɔð (also known as Harry Job). In her youth she was sent to a boarding school along with various Mortals. Her education was funded by a relative from Madeira. She was a student for several years. Being a deity, she made use of her extensive magical abilities, primarily to entertain her group of mortal friends, including Jill Belshazzar and Jesus's daughter Hannah Christ. After her graduation, Janet began actively participating in the happenings of the world. Unlike God, who got rather bored after a while, Janet has participated in godly ways consistently. Though most of her deeds are mostly unrecorded in the Bible, Janet does feature prominently in the Bible II: The Sequel due to her massive activity in the world following the events recorded in the Bible.

### Activity in the Common Era

Following the events of the Bible, Janet decided to explore the world. During the 4th century, Janet arrived in China. There she became fascinated with Papermaking. She started Janet's Paper Company in ca. 341 CE.

Later, Janet traveled to Europe trying to expand her paper company. There, she was abducted by Spiders who brought her before the Dutch crown claiming she was treasonous. After a brief misadventure with the Dutch legal system, Janet decided to stay in the Netherlands. Whilst in the Netherlands, she heard rumors about New Amsterdam. She decided to travel there, and later established residence there (now New York City).

From time to time, Janet continued to travel; as the French Revolution began to quiet down, Janet became bored and decided to go to Elba. There she assisted Napoleon in his escape, including by granting him immortality. Together, the duo spent a hundred days causing general chaos before the two were captured and sent to St. Helena (from which they immediately escaped). However, Janet and Napoleon's friendship began to fall apart when the two realized that their personalities did not complement each other. Without Janet's help, Napoleon was immediately caught a third time and exiled yet again.

During the Squab Prong War, Janet became annoyed with foolish activity. Though, being a deity, she was invulnerable to most hexes and jinxes present in New York, she still became irritated by the microtonal hum of hundreds of Squab forks. Thus it was that Janet proposed to the other Deities that the war might end, and she was also the Deity who ultimately communicated the decision to God.

Janet has visited the Zeration Station, however, she refuses to comment about it, claiming it is literally ineffable.

## Notes

1. ↑ This specific word choice was the decided compromise after an edit war about whether Janet's Deityhood was well-attested or hypothetical. No editors are particularly pleased with it, but it remains this way anyway.
2. ↑ Jesus settled down with a family after Easter
3. ↑ According to George Silt's tally, Janet entered but didn't leave, implying that she died and then remanifested.