Awakening of a Forbidden Love.../Original Story

Ridge took out his phone from his tuxedo's inner pocket, checking his messages one last time to make sure he had the right address. Sure enough, he sat in his car in the parking lot of the designated restaurant. In front of him stood P.F. Chang's, one of the nicer eateries in the quiet and quaint side of town he was in. Inside of the building, a special girl supposedly waited eagerly for his arrival.
His wing-man, Shulk, patted him on the shoulders reassuringly, and looked him in the face with a cheery smile. "You've got this, buster. Trust me; saving the future is easy if you know what you're doing."
"That's easy for you to say, Shulk. You have a magical Monado blade to help you when YOU save the future," Ridge returned, decidedly lacking much confidence.
Shulk chuckled. "We all have a Monado blade, Ridge. The real Monado was inside of you all along....... in your pants......"
Ridge shook his head with a smile, simultaneously upset at his friend but too amused to feel genuine anger. "Sure... crack a dick joke at a time like this... thanks..."
Shulk shrugged his shoulders in the way that an Australian voice actor imitating a British accent would, which is to say he shrugged his shoulders. "I figured it would lighten the mood. Mood is something that's going to be pretty damn important tonight," the Monado boy explained, before reaching into his pocket to hand his friend Ridge one last gift. "Here, take this 5-Hour Georgia Tea Extra Strength," he spoke, offering a small bottle of energy drink.
Ridge thanked his friend and downed the drink in two slurps, following it up with a shot of Mountain Dew: Code Red. "Now I'm ready."
"Now THAT'S the koopa I know!" Shulk shouted as the final stretch of his pep talk. "Now get out there and get laid!"
That was all Ridge needed to hear to get his engines revving. He took off like Lightning McQueen. Well, Lightning McQueen before Cars 3. Because now he's dead. He's fucking dead.
Ridge went through the entrance of the building and found himself surrounded by a rather extravagant interior. He waited patiently at the front podium for a server to arrive and help him find his table.
Waluigi approached his post absentmindedly, being focused on some other task. By the time he paid attention to the customer waiting, he realized it was a familiar face. "How may I help you sir- oh, hey Ridge! How are you doing?"
"How's it going Waluigi? Nice to see you. You work here now?" Ridge asked, "What happened to your other job?"
Waluigi deeply sighed. "It's a long story. Never mind that. Back to business. Do you have reservations?"
Ridge straightened his bow tie. "I do. In fact, my lady friend may have already arrived. Has anyone by the name of 'Lucina' been through here yet?"
Waluigi scratched his chin and eyed Ridge as if the man were a lucky devil. "Sure has. I'll take you to her. Right this way, sir."
While Waluigi lead the wayward koopa lad to the table, he mumbled something under his breath about how she was playable in Smash Bros. and he wasn't.
Ridge's first view was a real eye-opener. There she was, waiting right for him. Lucina's usual tiara was absent, in favor of more modest jewelry such as two tiny gem earrings and a thin silver necklace. Her usual baby-face was pampered with a smooth, natural makeup, which accented the color of her eyebrows and her lipstick. She wore a fancy dress which was a shade of teal analogously compatible with her blue hair. That hair had been tended to with a curling iron, swirling it into blue waves which reflected with a silky-smooth shine. She was dressed charmingly formal, and would not have looked out of place in a prestigious social setting, such as a casino for high-rollers. She had laid her elbow onto the table to hold up her drooping head as if she were nervous, but the moment she met eyes with Ridge, her face lit up with an incredibly toothy smile.
Ridge took a nervous bow in front of his lady friend. "So sorry I'm late, Lucina."
In an over-excited fashion, Lucina stood up from her seat and curtsied in front of her partner. "No, don't be sorry at all! I'm so happy to see you. You're much more stunning in person."
"Thank you my dear. Your dress looks spectacular as well," he complimented.
Lucina mentally thanked her friends for talking her out of wearing a hideous polka-dot shirt that she thought was cute.
The young man took her hand and kissed it, eliciting an embarrassed giggle. "Well? Shall we sit down and get ready to order?" he asked.
He felt Waluigi slide an object into his hands from behind his back where Lucina couldn't see. It was a box of koopa clown condoms. "You never know when you might need them," his mustached friend whispered ever so quietly, "Thank me later."
The pair sat down at their table. Ridge began skimming through the list of foods offered. Lucina had been there long enough to have already read the menu, so she instead gazed at the man in front of her, her hands held under her chin longingly. The two of them remained quiet for a few moments of solace before Waluigi assumed his actual duties as a waiter. "So, can I get you guys anything to drink to start off?"
Ridge chuckled. "Well, you know me. If you please, I'd like for you to hook me up with some brisk and refreshing Georgia tea."
Lucina had not yet decided. "I just had a question. I see you have listed 'delicious winter milkshake.' What would that be?"
Ridge tried to crack a joke to impress her. "I don't know, but with a name like that it sounds like something Eddie the Mean Old Yeti would make with the help of some lotion and a nudie magazine."
He felt a tap on his shoulder. It was from Eddie the Mean Old Yeti, who had been sitting right behind him in the adjacent booth. "Hey man, I just want you to know that what you just said was pretty insensitive."
"Oh, uh... I'm sorry," he awkwardly apologized. At the same time, he noticed a text from his friend Zeny. "Delicious winter milkshake is awesome, fuck you."
Between the two-pronged assault on his attempted humor, Ridge was left feeling intense regret for having opened his mouth in the first place. Thankfully, his date didn't seem to mind, or even to really pay the events much attention. "Well, ma'am, it's eggnog," Waluigi explained, "Except with an insanely cooler name. You really can't go wrong."
Lucina nodded her head and made the Obama "not bad" meme face. "Sure, I'll have that then."
"Excellent. I'll be back shortly with your drinks, and I can take your orders whenever you are ready," the purple gentleman spoke before leaving.
In a matter of minutes the two had talked discussed their personal food preferences. They had decided upon ordering the orange beef, as well as the kung pao chicken, and then simply sharing with one another. In no time at all a delicious meal was set on the table between them and they began eating, holding small conversation in between bites.
"So... it has been a while, hasn't it?" Lucina spoke, innocently leading the conversation.
Ridge gulped and wiped his mouth with a kerchief. "Yeah, yeah... it has."
"Almost two years," she contemplated, "I wonder why it took so long to finally get together."
"Uh, I have been busy, you know. Playing your game."
"You and I both know that's not true," Nite yelled across the room, he himself busy not playing Kid Icarus Uprising. The two were clearly at an impasse.
"That's ok, Ridge," Lucina reassured him, "It's fine if you have not played my game. I mean, it's normal to start a relationship and not know your partner's friends. This is sort of like that."
"Did you say... relationship?"
Lucina blinked and then covered her mouth in shock. How does Shock keep getting in these situations anyway? Give the guy a break. "Oh, I didn't mean... I was just talking, I wasn't thinking about what I was saying. Obviously I don't expect... well, you know. Given that you have a girlkoopa and all..."
"Not anymore," Ridge proclaimed, in part sourly reminiscent and in part prideful, "I'm as single as a single-serve 89 cent Slim Jim."
Hirohiko Araki took down notes on a small pad of paper. That was a good ass metaphor, he thought to himself.
Lucina's jaw dropped, never having expected that response. "O-O-Oh... I see... t-that's, uhm, I'm sorry to hear that."
"Don't be sorry. It just means I'm open," he explained casually, not putting much thought into his response.
The flesh of Lucina's cheeks turned beet red. Her luck was more fortuitous than she could have ever hoped. This would be her big chance. She wanted to immediately capitalize on the opportunity and make her move, but was too passive and nervous to confront the subject head on. She quietly continued eating her meal.
Conversely, Ridge hadn't noticed how enticing his words had been. He wasn't at all aware that his comments had been inflammatorily igniting the passion within the young woman's soul. His semi-serious behaviour stemmed from his assumption that Lucina's desire to bond with him had been pragmatic; it had been such a long time since he had touched the subject in his mind that his memory cast a shadow of doubt on whether emotion had at all been involved with Lucina's goal of saving the future. He had forgotten that Lucina was drawn to him by the force of her heart.
As unfortunate as the situation was for the poor girl, the strands of fate would set everything in motion from there on out. Ridge dropped his fork by mistake. "Oh, whoops, haha," he laughed as he crawled under the table.
All he could see in front of him was an excellent pair of lean, toned legs branching out from under Lucina's teal dress. Her feet, covered in extravagant blue high-heals, coincidentally tapped against Ridge's arm, causing her to look under the table to make sure she hadn't kicked him by mistake. Their eyes met, and Lucina's naturally gleaming smile infectiously came upon Ridge's face as well.
Lucina's playfulness knew no limits as she began to play footsies with her Ridgey's face. The simple, yet intimate, gesture sent the lad down memory lane, to the day he first spoke with the girl across the long distance that was the internet.
"Do you remember when we met? Over Skype?" she questioned with a humming melody backing her words.
"I try not to remember the Skype part. You should download Discord, Luci."
She sighed in a dreamy state of pleasure. "Anything for you~" she replied with eager affection. Her shoe slipped off and she began gently swirling her toes around Ridge's nose, setting his head spinning.
Ridge sat back down in his seat, immersed in his own thoughts at what he had just seen. Believe it or not, he had a boner. “I wonder where Albino is, I want- wait, no I don't. I don't wonder that at all.” he said as he walked off into the sunset (he didn't actually do this he just went back to eating his meal and making ga-ga eyes with Little Luci Blue).
"Lucina... tell me again, how is it the future comes to pass where you are from? If you don't mind, I'd like you to remind me once more why it was you wanted my help to save the world."
She shifted her glance downward, as the question touched upon a difficult subject for her to converse over. "Well, you see, I come from a world where most of the heroes have died. Only their children remain, and I am one of those children. We fight each and every day against an evil, nigh-invulnerable force of nature bent on the death and destruction of everything."
"Those are the zombie things, right? What are they called, Revenants or something? ReDeads?"
Lucina was deathly silent for a brief moment before returning an answer which left a sharp pain within the still air following it. "They are called Funko Pops."
Pumba spit out his drink. Timon knocked over his chair and table in his mad dash to run out of the building. All noise in the restaurant ceased and all eyes turned in the direction of the girl who had spoken the forbidden tongue. "Look, miss," Waluigi reluctantly addressed, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave if you're going to keep saying dirty words so loudly."
Lucina shriveled up and shivered. "Y-you can see why I'm so terrified of the dark future I've seen..."
Ridge swooced his chair around the table so he could come clasp Lucina's hands together in between his own. "A strong and kind person like you should never have to see a future so vile. I'll do anything I can to help," he pledged with a conviction as hard as his shell.
Lucina sniffled, her emotions nearly overwhelming her. "I'm so happy to hear that. I'm glad you will fight with me for a brighter day. But we can't do it alone..."
Ridge strengthened her by showing support. "Yes, I know. I remember. And I'm ready."
Though it should have been a moment of triumph, Lucina remained reserved. "To be honest, I don't know if I'm ready to raise a child..."
Ridge took off his coat and unbuttoned his shirt. "There's only one way to find out. We'll do it... together," he promised, raising his foot onto the edge of the platform in front of himself. He held out his hand, waiting eagerly to hold Lucina's tender hand and lift her up to join him.
"Now I know DAMN well you aren't about to start fuckin' on that table," the head chef, Macho Grubba, angrily interrupted.
Ridge blinked a few times in dazed surprise. He had completely forgotten where he was, his head so swirled and caressed by passion.
Macho Grubba crossed his arms. "I have a buddy who owns a bar in Fresno. He WARNED me about you."
Waluigi grabbed the two patrons by their shirts and hastily lead them back to the front, though not before Lucina could tip her waiter by leaving the man a Bullion (M).
"Wasn't that Ridge over there with Lucina?" Shock asked his friends. The gang had all gathered around a large booth to eat a meal of their own, and had paid witness to the bulk of the events at the bistro up to that point.
"Why are we at a P.F. Chang's when we could be at the Kirby Cafe?" Elliot asked with emotional investment.
"Sorry, Elliot," Zeny apologized, "But the Kirby Cafe is in Japan. Just like me now."
Zeny extended his arms to his sides and began lifting from the ground. He ascended through the air up into a heavenly light and disappeared as a chorus of angels sang.
"Yeah anyway Ridge boy said something about saving the future," Pik mentioned with his mouth full, "Wanna go watch?"
The friends at the table all shrugged and nodded, having nothing better to do.

After a short drive from the restaurant to their next stop, Lucina lead Ridge into a tall building, of which the inside lobby resembled the foyer of a larger mansion. Her hotel room was on the fifth floor of a luxurious establishment, so the two of them took an extended elevator ride to reach their destination. Each second together built up stronger and stronger anxious passion, and they both knew it would only make things more explosive. They could hardly contain their excitement. By the time they reached the door to her room, Lucina's hands were shaking so much that she could barely swipe her keycard into the door's lock. Once they were in, the door slammed behind them.
Lucina entered the bathroom to ready up, leaving the koopa to his own thoughts. The room had a single bed, which he sat on the edge of in wait. The only light was from a small night-stand lamp, and it reflected off of the dark red carpets and bed sheets to illuminate the room with a crimson tint. The atmosphere practically screamed intimacy. This was it. It was finally going to happen.
The girl brexited the bathroom wearing nothing but a bath robe. Her hair was slick with water and filled the air with the strong scent of shampoo. She walked over to Ridge at the bed side, doing a trampy little dance along the way. She sat next to him and slid her hand onto his to hold it. They looked at each other with pure and innocent care for one another, and leaned in for a spooktacular kiss. Their lips pressed together and their consciousnesses melted as they held their arms around each other, locked in lusty embrace.
"Are you ready?" she whispered in his ear.
"Always," he smiled back.
She dropped to her knees and unbuttoned Ridge's pants and went at it, making noises about as loud as a Swoopula stealing Paper Mario's HP. Ridge went cross-eyed and fell backwards onto the bed, almost passing out. She went on for a few moments until it felt as if she couldn't possibly get him any more excited, and then she stood on the bed and kneeled over her man, ready to go to town.
"W-Wait, Luci!! S-shouldn't we use a condom...?"
She stared at him blank-faced. "But Ridge... I WANT to have a baby. That's why we're doing this in the first place..."
It was then that Ridge finally understood how babies were made. "...oh. Right."
Lucina slowly lowered her Smorg down onto Ridge until he entered her completely. She rose up and down with rhythm and intensity, as if to the beat of bongo drums.
"Wow, Lucini... you're really good at this," Ridge moaned.
"That's right. I've had lots of practice," she explained, her voice shaking.
Ridge became disheartened. "Oh... with who else?"
"With DK!"
Ridge's eyes bulged? "Donkey Kong? What the fuck?!"
She laughed upon realizing the misunderstanding. "Oh, no, I don't mean WITH DK. I mean, he helped out. I practiced using bananas! Lots and lots of them."
Somewhere deep in the jungle, Donkey Kong wept over his banana horde that once was... the empire he had lost.
Ridge had many questions he wanted to ask, but decided to save them for another time. For in that moment, he and Lucina were bonding like never before. He rolled her onto her stomach and began grinding against her, his body moving in motions similar to Jigglypuff's down-throw. Each thrust sent waves of tingles up her spine until she had to bite onto a pillow to keep from yelling. "Oh Ridge..."
They continued for a time until they decided to re-position. Lucina got up on her hands and knees and waited for him to enter her once more, all the while filling the air with words positively electrified with excitement. "Come on, baby. Say something dirty..."
The request caught the boy somewhat off guard, and he struggled to come up with a response. "Oh, uh... I wish your dad was here watching. So he could see that his daughter calls ME daddy."
She bit her lip. "Oooooo... that's weird and kinky. Weird and kinky as SHIT," she moaned, and he could feel her pleasure physically vibrate against him. "I wish YOUR dad was here watching," she finally returned.
Good ol' Papa Lentry stuck his head out from the kitchen. "Hey, J? Have you seen the griddle for the pancakes?"
"Uhhhh. Not now, please," he answered.
Papa Lentry shrugged before returning to the kitchen. "Maybe later then."
Interruptions notwithstanding, the two were reaching their limits. Finally, Lucina laid out on her back. The two would bond missionary style, staring deep into one another's eyes with their bodies as close as could be. "Lucini honey... I feel so good around you. I want to stay with your forever"
Max whispered from outside of the room. "I don't know about you guys, but if I could describe the atmosphere of this tryst, I would surely say that the only fitting background music to this moment would be Monkey Bowling 2 from Super Monkey Ball 2," he spoke. He was with the group looking through the hotel window.
Shock chuckled, like Sonic. "For once I'll finally have an interesting answer when Miitomo asks me what I did this weekend."
"Climbed the side of a five story building?" Elliot asked.
"Well yeah I guess," Shock answered. Surely enough, the friends looking through the window were at the same time clinging for dear life about sixty feet in the air.
"Where'd Pik go?" nobodyman questioned.
"He fell about the time we got to the third floor," Elliot explained.
Shock took his Japanese student hat off in respect. "He's in Japan with Zeny and Lightning McQueen now... rest his soul..."
"We should go back to paying attention," Nite reminded, "This story is about Ridge, it's not about Ridge."
The friends had their attention snapped back towards the matter at hand as they heard a peculiar sound.
"RIDGE has gone ALL-STAR!" a racing announcer shouted loudly. The hotel itself began shaking in violent quakes of energy, and Lucina emitted a primal screech as loud as could be. Ridge in turn began grunting repeatedly, as if Ryu in Smash was spamming his side-b without actually inputting the command. It was astounding how deeply they cared for one another as they tenderly held with the gentlest of touches, but roughly mated with the force of a hurricane. "Ridge! Ridge! I love you so much!!" Lucina cried.
"I love you too, Luci!" he cried back. The two of them held hands tightly, weaving their fingers together.
Almost instantly, Lucina stopped making noise. She stayed incredibly silent for a few moments, occasionally sputtering or almost making a sound, as if she were too overwhelmed to even make noise. As the tension rose, she became louder and louder as it became clear Ridge was pushing her towards the breaking point. "A-ah.................. ah.............. ah...... ah... ah.. ah, ah ah, AH, AH..."
"That's it baby!!" he shouted, sending her spinning through a world in motion. Finally, she lost control as her shouting peaked.

    "AH, AH, AH!! AH!!! AAAAHH!!!!! CHAOS CONTROOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!"

In perfect unison, Lucina's climactic Underwater Turquoise Blue Overdrive brought upon Ridge's Clacker Volley. Their bodies shook and their booties quaked as Ridge collapsed next to Lucina's body. They laid still, panting heavily. They were true lovers now.
"Damn, I think he just knocked her up," Shock spoke in awe.
"Dude, nice," Pik praised.
"Smiles," Elliot smiled.
Ridge stared deeply into the eyes of his azure-haired maiden and curled his fingers to rub behind her ear. Her face was pink with embarrassment and damp with sweat. "So, how was it?" he asked.
She smiled ear to ear. "It was tubular, dude."
"Do you think we succeeded...?"
She held her tummy. "I think so. I think, very soon, we'll bring a little prince or a little princess into this world."
Ridge's eyes popped. "You're royalty??"
She closed her eyes and smiled. "That's right."
Ridge was certainly surprised. "So, there's more to you than just looking like Marth. What are you, anyway?"
Lucina pinched her lover's cheek. "What you see is what you get. Just a girl who loves adventure! And koopa dick."
He held his special girl as if he would never let go. "I love you Lucini Beanie."
She nestled her head under his chin and against his chest, submitting completely to his warm embrace. "I love you too, my little Ridge Racer. Let's save the future together."
"Fuck yeah," Shulk mumbled, crossing one leg over the other and smoking a cig while sitting at a nearby chair. Marty McFly and Silver the Hedgehog fist bumped and Shulk passed around his lighter to share.
"So, uh, hey," Shock spoke in Luigi's Super Show voice, "How do we get down from here?"