The Fuckboy Starter Pack: Damian edition

**Whats gud fam? This is Trap Queen Maddy comin @ chu live from the Trap House. Toady I'm going to teach you how to transform into ~~a fuckboy~~ Damian.**

**Now I know that Halloween is just a few months away, but it is never too early to begin working on your costume. And whats a better costume than to dress up as a demi hoodrat/white boi? Well actually alot of other costumes are, but going trick or treating as Damian is surely more creative, definitely cheaper, and will guarantee you a good dicking if you stand outside of a church long enough ;)**

**So without further or do, allow me to guide you through all the products and techniques you will have to undergo to achieve the perfect ~~fuckboy~~ Damian look. Lets start!**

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## **1) First thing's first, you gotta stan Iggy**

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**Yes Iggy Azalea, one of the most controversal celebrities in pop culture and the source of many memes and vine edits. She is also one of Damian's fav artists to ~~fap to~~ listen to. Although he has many other fine selections of musical tastes, I decided to talk about Iggy since she is our wiki mascot (according to our main page) and because Damian has such a massive dedication to her. Stanning Iggy goes far beyond shamelessly blasting "Fancy" throughout your hood (although that is hella brave). You have to defend Iggy from hating ass bitches and buy all her shit on itunes. You also have to listen to all her music from her mixtape days with T.I up to her new not so much of a hit single "Pretty Girls" which she is featured on. You might also wanna watch the movie "Clueless" to know what the fuck is going on in her music video for Fancy, not that this will make you more of an Iggy stan but its more of a suggestion to ease you into this exciting new lifestlye. Do all of this and you are on your way to becoming an Iggy stan!**

**NEXT!!**

## **2) Buy yourself some refreshing Starbucks beverages**

**Yes just like Ms.Coyne, Damian also lives for his overpriced Venti cups of Frappuccinos! This cup of Diabetes is a must have for any occasion. From firing gunshots in Compton to auditioning on Nickelodeon for the role of ~~a fuckboy~~ the black best friend/sidekick on a new show, Starbucks is the perfect accessory to any event you attend. But don't forget, you MUST take the perfect snapshot of your drink and post it to your Damian-themed instagram (also you must use a filter from the mobile app VSCO Cam) before you take a sip from your next high in glucose frappe.**

**NEXT!!**

## **3) Get the Look! Jean Jackets, Flannels, Doc Martens and more!**

**If you haven't noticed yet, Damian has a style like no other! This nigga doesn't dress like a nigga, he dresses like a hipster nigga! There are many key items to this getup that are easily accessible if you shop smart and "think like a twink", yes that is the motto I have created for you that you must keep in mind while ~~fuckboy~~ Damian shopping. So just remember whenever you're stuck, "THINK LIKE A TWINK!". Now lets start with our first key item..**

**1)** **Skinny Jeans**: Although recently Damian's style has been leaning towards the baggier jeans side, skinny jeans are a ~~fuckboy~~ Damian classic! For this piece the key thing to remember is the skinnier the better. If you feel like your dick or pussy labia is suffocating and shriveling up from the lack of oxygen - then you're doing it right! Now if you live in the good old South like our friend Adam Montana where overalls are more in fahsion than skinny jeans are therefore making it hard to find youself a pair dont worry. Just purchase regular old jeans but in 3 sizes down your size and you're good to go!

**2) Jean Jackets**: Jean jackets are the perfect cover up for when the wheather is not too cold, but still a bit breezy. However, Damian will wear this anywhere anytime, he would even wear it to bed! If this Clare Edwards fashion piece doesn't make you look like a young twink then idk what will! Luckily Jean jackets are easy to find, and you don't have to go all out and buy an expensive Levi denim jacket from Macys. In fact you'll look even more like ~~a fuckboy~~ Damian if your jean jacket is all scruffed up, so don't worry you can find yourself a nice comfortable denim jack at your local thrift shop or GoodWill. After all, Damian is all about vintage!

**3)** **Flannels**: You don't have to be ~~Adam~~ a hillbilly farmer from the Mills of Tennessee to own one of these bad boys. Flannels can be easily spotted at any of your local hipster store such as Forever21, H&M, Charlotte Russe, ect (you could probably even find one at HotTopic I'm sure lol). But heres the catch, you don't actually have to wear it kinda, no no you see to get the Damian look you must follow the latest Hipster trend and tie it around your waist. I know its one of the worst fashion trends since wearing a dress over jeans, but if you want to be Damian you must be able to pull off this look (preferably with a classic red flannel). Don't worry Damian would never want you to actually wear it and look like Jake Martin.

**4)** **Oversized T-Shirts**: Okay now this piece is one of the most important items on this list, why? Well to be blunt its literally the most fuckboy thing anyone could wear...no slashes this time its clearly a fuckboy item. This trends biggest and latest follower is none other than Justin Bieber, so that should say enough. But seriously you can find these shirts anywhere from your local flea market to Family Dollar! If it passes the knees and feels like a dress, you're doing it right! But if you wanna be more subtle, don't worry I got chu lemme hit you up with another classic Damian top you can rock...

**5)** **Button up shirts**: This item is great if you wanna look like Damian waiting outside of church for you know who ;) Button ups are a classic yet gentle approach to the ~~fuckboy~~ Damian look. If you wear it right it says I'm a gentlemen, but at the same time I'd suck your dick if you was masturbating in your car alone. You can usually find them at H&M when they're on sale or at any department store.

**6) Doc Martens**: Are you going to Warped Tour? No? Well don't worry, I just found you another excuse to purchase this fashionable footwear, and that is because it is the last key item on this list! Damian may be be alot of things, ~~cough\* like a fuckboy \*coughcough\*~~ but on top of being a fairy faggot strawberry frosting covered twink, Damian also has a little punk side to him which he likes to show off by wearing the only pair of shoes he owns (except for his church shoes). You can usually find these Eli Goldsworthy typa shoes at Hot Topic or at any basic shoe store. So next time you're feeling Damian af, turn up some Blink 182 and click your Doc Martens together, and as long as you know that there is no place like home...some mighty fine pierced dick will pop up and be staring at you dead in the eyes.

**7)** **When all else fails..just go to H&M**: Seriously this store is Damian's second home! (Well technically its like number 17 since this nigga is a Nomad that moves from place to place with no permanent home but you know what I mean). You can never go wrong with a ~~fuckboy~~ Damian look by shopping in the men's and/or women's section at H&M. So if you're lookin for a shortcut, just go to H&M and you'll be good!

**NEXT!!**

## **4) You gotta make it clap!**

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**For those of ya'll that don't know, Damian is a dancer and has been dancing for most of his "a little bit over a decade" life, so you KNOW he can make it clap! Ever since Damian was a young twink he has been skilled in the arts of Hip-Hop, Lyrical, Tap, Ballet, Cal, Tribal, Jazz, Flamingo, Ballroom, Modern, ect. But he is a murderer, and I mean a triple first degree homocide when it comes to Twerking. His style just simply cannot be imitated, but you can come pretty damn close if you take lessons from our good friend Lil Shawtee Dor (even tho she mostly uses her back) or just by watching any YouTube tutorials and practicing really hard. :)**

**NEXT!!**

## **5) You gotta sing to the pussy**

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**One of Damian's most iconic moments from being in the FabFive was when he made Trap Queen Maddy, Lil Shawtee Dor, and Nessa Jay swoon when he serenaded Trap Queen Maddy with Abel's classic pussy twister "Often" and well lets just say he definitely made their pussies "poppin". Damian's voice is twinky, but just enough to get you hard/wet. Just like his twerking skills, his voice cannot be imitated but you can hit similar notes if you choke on dick long enough. Damian is known for using his talent to serenade bitches and get them all nice and oiled up, but if he's auditioning for the role of the black best friend/sidekick then well...that's just a bonus!**

**NEXT!!**

## **You must stan Africa and its Congo​**

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**Damian is no stranger to his roots and he has alot to be proud of. His people had kings&queens, traded gold for salt, and got rid of Ebola faster than they brought it to America! Damian was even named after the Congo and grew up speaking some Swahili. But that doesn't mean that you white folk that wanna be Damian gotta get dreads or something, no none of that necessary. To show your suport for the Congo just get yourself an "I <3 Congo" shirt or a "I <3 Africa" shirt and some pins or some shit and you're good to go!**

**NEXT!!**

## **You must Stan California/LA​**

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**Remember when I mentioned that Damian is a Nomad? Well that was true until now. This nigga loves his Compton home and will defend its reputation tooth and nail. If you wanna be Damian, you gotta stan Cali and the whole mothafuckin West Coast. You gotta defend it from New Yawkers Trap Queen Maddy and Nessa Jay and love it like its home. You gotta go to Venice Beach and Santa Monica and fap to these gorgeous sights because fuck its home and you love your home more than anything. Even if you ain't a Cali native thats okay boo, long distance will make it work ♥**

**NEXT!!**

## **You must be a Fuckboy​**

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And last but hella not least, **be a fuckboy**. I've been hinting at this throughout the whole ride and its even in the title, but I am now finally addressing it. Lets face it, Damian can be a lil bit of a fuckboy. Just a lil bit, but its what makes him who he is and we love him for it (not that the FabFive loves all fuckboys, just some ^.^). Being a Fuckboy is simple, it includes actions such as asking a Trap Queen for nudes out of the blue, asking a Trap Queen if he can tongue her down, texting like a fuckboy, dressing like a fuckboy, idolizing fuckboys such as the ones from the Fuckboy Wall, having absolutely **NO CHILL** and many more. But just to make it more clear to you, here are some other examples of what being a fuckboy is..

### **How to spot a Fuckboy:**

**- white nike tube socks with his adidas sandals**

**- he wants to play 20 questions (!!!!!!!!! do not play !!!!!!!!!!! especially if there’s a “;)” involved)**

**- relies on his mom but doesn’t respect women**

**- looks like he just read one of jaden smith’s tweets in all of his selfies**

**- can’t find the clitoris**

### ***fuckboys come in all shapes and sizes and results may vary but when he a fuckboy…he a fuckboy…and u will know, for example***

*- timothy over here askin’ for nudes when all u did was say hello so he's a fuckboy*

*- connor who won’t calm down with his axe spray tryna infect ya lungs cause he's a fuckboy*

*- colin adding #420 to his bio when he smoked weed one time cause he's a fuckboy*

*- gregory mad cause u didn’t blow him after the first date so he's a fuckboy*

*-damian asking "what would you do if I was there with you? ;)" cuz he's a fuckboy*

*ect..*

## **In Conclusion**

**Damn this feels like I just wrote a Haley Coyne award winning essay here, so you know its gotta have a proper conclusion to get me that 5 ;)**

**Anyways, these are all the tips and tricks that I know of that will make you Damian af! So feel free to try these looks and tricks out yourself, you never know next time you go to Sunday mass you might find youself a deadly sin just waiting outside for ya. ;)**

**Once again, this is Trap Queen Maddy saying au revoir from the Trap House and good luck with any upcoming ~~fuckboy~~ Damian themed events, cuz you sure as hell will need it lmao. Until next time fam! Don't forget "Think like a Twink" ;) ♥**

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xoxo Let em eat my ass
like a cupcake♥