Twelvetrees Inn

> *"Our adventure starts here, in the Twelvetrees Inn... It is here that our travellers spent their final*
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> night, before fate (or good fortune) makes them the centre of a tale to be told
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> for generations to come. "
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As is customary, our D&D campaign begins with our players meeting in a nice Inn. This inn has been around for about 300 years,
being one of the first buildings to be constructed in the small sleepy town of
Neverholme. Nestled in the groove of the valley, it is tucked away from the
turmoil of the Kingdom and its affairs, the townsfolk preferring instead to
keep to themselves, enjoying the tranquillity of a simple life. That being
said, news from the capital is still of great interest and stories from these
strange and different lands are fascinating to the locals, often told and
retold across the fire after a few drinks. From this central point, the town
sprawls outwards before turning into fields and forest where even the bravest
of men refuse to venture. When the working day is over, the locals sweep into
the Inn for a spot of good food and pleasant company. As night approaches, many
weary travellers also come, heralding from distant and exotic lands, looking
for a tankard of ale and someplace safe to rest their head.

## Interior

The Inn is built entirely around a massive ancient
oak tree, guessed to be approximately 1,500 years old. At the base, the tree’s
protruding roots have been painstakingly carved into long tables where drunk
patrons sit to tell tales of their travels and make-believe stories of beasts
and untold riches. Although the main drinking area is out in the open air, the
tree offers excellent protection against the weather and it is particularly
busy in the summer months. The lower branches of the tree have been strung with
small bottles containing lightening bugs that lazily bump against the glass with
a dull thudding sound. They do however produce a warm glow that makes the Inn
feel welcoming when night-time falls. The bar and indoor seating (including the
kitchen) being found on the lower floors. The guest rooms - available for 5sp
per night for a good room - are located on the upper floors of the Inn.
Interestingly, the Inn contains no staircases at all, perhaps a remnant of its
Dwarven-owned days. Instead, there is a curved wooden walkway that winds up the
trunk of the ancient tree, with bridges branching off to each of the guest
rooms on the upper floors. If you continue up this walkway, you eventually
reach the most luxurious room in the Inn. This room is not in the outer
building, but instead can be found within the tree itself. The treehouse room
was built for the King’s visit over 100 years ago, and since then has been left
vacant – reserved for either royalty or someone with more money than sense. The
rumour is that it is rather lovely, and inhabited by a small family of
squirrels.

## Lodging Services

The Inn has a number of rooms that can be rented
out to those who can afford it. The rooms on the uppermost floors are lavishly
furnished, with soft bedding, ornate furniture, and a splendid view over the courtyard.
This costs 2gp per night. The lower rooms are pleasant enough, some might even
describe them as “moderately okay”, and there is only a 30% chance that you
catch lice after your night’s kip. These cost 5sp per night. For those less
financially fortunate, there are a few damper rooms on the lower floor, near
the stables, which will set you back 5cp per night. It’s not guaranteed that
you will get a peaceful night’s sleep there, but it’s safe enough and the
horses are good company.

## Food and Drink

The food at the Inn has been described as the best
the valley can offer – admittedly its specialty dish is trout head porridge -
so don’t get your hopes up too much. But the cook tries her best, despite her
old age. It’s rumoured that the Inn has had the same cook since it first opened
about 300 years ago, but that’s mostly down to her haggard appearance and abundance
of wrinkly neck flaps which give the distinct impression of an overworked
turkey. The cook (Helga Dinkeforth) is aware of the mockery by some of the
Inn’s patrons and retaliates by joyfully spitting into their food. Some good
advice is to avoid the stew -as Helga has always said, revenge is a dish best
served with bodily fluids.

## Entertainment and Festivities

There is nothing more that the people staying at
Twelvetrees love than a good game, and many a fistfight will break out as a
result. The most fair game is “Elvish snap” which is played by the fire most nights.
But the most exciting game is the Dwarf-tossing competition which is held
annually behind the Inn every blood moon. This is an occasion to drink
lavishly, and the townsfolk really don’t need a reason to get sloshed but the
added challenge of throwing a drunk dwarf makes this quite the popular event.
The dwarves (who are paid handsomely) wear helmets and are treated to the
finest spirits available before being tossed to see who can fly the furthest.
In recent years there has been attempts to make the dwarves more streamlined,
but the last man who tried to shave his dwarf got several broken ribs and the
forceful removal of his front two teeth. Others have resorted to spandex
leotards, which were also quickly banned due to breaking public decency laws.