Remble Lincoln

"Are you willing to die for those christians?"

**Remble Lincoln** (AKA Hood Lincoln, Moe) is an anomalous entity first brought into the PZW mythos by Funky, being discovered by Breadlord soon after. His appearance can be described as a roughly 43-year old man with a small beard and grills sporting a black suit and matching top hat. His abilities are considered to be perception alteration on a large scale, particularly related to former president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. Long-term exposure to Remble Lincoln has been said to lead to spontaneously rapping "Gordon R Freestyle" by rapper Remble when in the presence of Abraham Lincoln imagery, including but not limited to statues, images, busts, historical paintings, and the five dollar bill.

### Initial Encounter

On an unknown date in early 2023, Funky stumbled across an Instagram account by the name of "daily\_remble\_lincoln." As the name implies, the account posts the first Remble Lincoln video, from here on referred to as "Genesis," showcasing Remble Lincoln lip syncing to the first 6 lines of Remble's "Gordon R Freestyle." Funky was infatuated by the account and began reposting each new post on his story, which would soon alert Breadlord to the existence of Remble Lincoln. While Funky and Breadlord would allude to him in private or on rare occasions, eventually even letting Jen in on the joke since she lived near Funky, the other PZW members would remain oblivious, as they did not use Instagram actively.

### Spread

Remble Lincoln would quickly begin to spiral out of control among those close to Funky, including a majority of his real-life friends and colleagues. The opening line of Genesis, and by extension Gordon R Freestyle as a whole, "Are you willing to die for those Christians?," would quickly weave its way into the vocabulary of those around Funky as a direct reaction to Abraham Lincoln imagery.

### Incidents

#### Walmart

Despite being the first recorded instance of Remble Lincoln's perceptive alteration, it applies to one of the most common objects handled by the everyday man; the five dollar bill. During a trip to Walmart, Funky and two of his real-life friends were at the checkout and had to pay with cash. Upon looking at a five dollar bill, Funky uttered the opening line of Genesis, prompting laughter from his friends who were well aware of Remble Lincoln. Funky, on the other hand, was feeling an indescribable sense of dread, as he could feel Remble Lincoln taking control of his perception by the second.

#### Monument

During a trip to Washington DC, one of Funky's friends, known as Pollo, visited the Lincoln Memorial, known as one of the greatest historical landmarks in the country. Instead of taking in the history and enjoying the vacation, though, Pollo had other plans. She snapped a photo of herself in front of the famous statue of Abraham Lincoln, and sent it to Funky through Instagram DMs, captioned with none other than the opening line of Genesis. Remble Lincoln continued to take control, even in one of the most important historical landmarks in the United States.

#### Finance

In mid-January of 2024, the owner of the daily\_remble\_lincoln account offered it for sale. Funky placed an offer for $100, offering to buy the account and continue posting after the fact. At the time of writing, daily\_remble\_lincoln has yet to respond.

### Genesis

Are you willing to die for those Christians?

Do you really feel fly in True Religion?

Did you think you would survive 5.56's?

You spent a band on a burner and died with it?

40 pointers on Rollies, the time glisten.

Superchargers on foreigns, we drive different.