Episode 103 - The General Mills Truther (Prince Ariel part 1)

## Book of Doug Touchstones

* Some fairies (specifically, Gentille's family) become snakes for a week every hundred years during which they can be killed. This could explain some snake boys.

### Episode Features

* Guest podcaster Brandon (from podcast Junk Kick Punch, ATU type 518: Big fight over magic things)

* Second anniversary episode

## Featured Story

* "Prince Ariel" by Madame d'Aulnoy
* No Aarne-Thompson-Uther type given
* Carman's summary was six pages

### Overall Plot

* A king and a queen have the ugliest, stoutest, shortest son (Fearavon, aka Chode, aka Madboy) who is angry and the worst but his mom spoils him rotten. His dad is kind of on the fence.
* The king hires a tutor for Madboy. The tutor has ancient claims to the throne but no resources to get it. Tutor also has a son who is the best best hot charming boy (Leander)
* Everyone hates Fearavon and he hates that so he always takes it out on Leander. Leander tries to calm him down and it doesn't really work.
* One day, ambassadors from far away visit and mistake Leander for the prince and Fearavon for a pet dwarf (because that was a thing). They bow to Leander and twirl Fearavon around and tweak his nose. Fearavon bullies Leander as revenge.
* Leander's father sends him to a castle in the country so that Fearavon won't bully him anymore. Leander is happy and does lots of cool prince hobbies like playing music, hunting, etc.
* One day, Leander is wandering the gardens when he finds an adder. He decides to keep it in a locked room and sends in bran and milk and flowers and herbs to feed it and keep it happy
* Back at court, the ladies are sad at losing Leander and blame Fearavon, so he and the Queen decide to kill Leander.
* Fearavon gets Leander to join a hunting party (aka assassins) on Leander's land.
* Suddenly, a lion!
* Fearavon faints, the assassins run away, and Leander fights the lion to death (the hosts assume with punches), then takes care of Fearavon until he's recovered
* Fearavon leaves to find the assassins and demands that they kill Leander right now, so they go to do that. He returns to find that Leander has defeated them, so he banishes Leander.
* Leander goes to feed his snake and instead finds a hot chick in paragraph-worthy fancy clothes (The Fairy Gentille). Everyone in Gentille's family lives happily in fairy form for 100 years, but then they have to spend eight days as a vulnerable snake and then they start over.
* She's very grateful to him for saving her life as a snake and asks what he would like in return. He initially asks for nothing, but she forces him to pick an option.
* He picks getting turned into a spirit of air because it will make him real good at travelling and that's what he wanted to do
* She bestows his new powers and renames him "Prince Ariel." She also gives him a red hat decked with parrot feathers that will make him be invisible
* She also gives him three special roses. One will give him infinite money. The second will tell him "if his mistress loves him truly if he puts it on her throat." The third will prevent him from getting sick (and is never mentioned again).
* Now, he is ready for vengeance on Fearavon. He mounts his best horse (aka Grisdelin) sets off with all of his servants so that news of his approach will reach the court faster.

## Discussion Points

* Madame d'Aulnoy is for fancy things as Brian Jacques is for food
* Children's cereal commercials originated with snakes trying to steal bran and milk
* You can pretty easily create a conspiracy theory linking all of the cereal mascots
* This is the first fairy tale with dwarf tossing or princes keeping dwarves in general
* Fearavon's demeanor is kind of understandable given how everyone treats him
* Those ambassadors were actually really awful and we should have learned much more about them
* Predictions
	+ Brandon: a series of trials for Leander as he travels the globe, not unlike a Batman-esque origin story
	+ Tyler: a subterranean race of some kind
	+ Gordie: Madboy is going to get his own fairy and powers

#### Notable Quotes

* Brandon: Labelmaker is the new best character on the show.
* Tyler: Do you think we should give Brandon a glossary of terms?
* Gordie: It'll make sense as we go.

Carman: It won't. Let's go!

* Brandon: So far, I'm with Chode.
* Gordie: It's kind of a game to see how long it takes before we get to the title character. Because sometimes there's a long prologue about people that don't matter.
* Brandon: [seconds after affirming his alliance to Chode] This guy just picks up a snake by the head with a handkerchief? Alright, I'm with Leander.

* Carman: Lucky Charms' predecessor was St. Patrick chasing the snakes out of Ireland to keep them away from his Lucky Charms.

Brandon: I'm learning a lot.

Gordie: This is how conspiracy theories start.

* Carman: The only word that truly applies to Sonic is sexual.
* Gordie: What do we think is going to happen?

Tyler: No.