Venom JoowBear

> I hope in the next Cars movie they have a scene in the movie where it cuts to real life footage of Disney staff shoving Larry the Cable Guy into a rocket and shooting him at the moon.
>
> -Venom JoowBear

## **Venom JoowBear**

### Ranking

Podracer

**Venom JoowBear** is one of the original HG members. He has been a member since forever and, in such, has seen all the horrors that have unfolded in HG.

## History

Born February 18th.....at some point in time. It's unknown where Venom came from, he's old. A popular theory is he was hatched from an egg laid by Masterbuilt. On July 1881, Venom JoowBear gunned down James Garfield out of pure jealousy of his magnificent facial hair. He was then put on trial for reusing assists and gunning down the president of the United States. Somewhere in this month, Wafez became Venom's first son. Venom viewed him as a disappointment since Wafez never knew how to speak well and was a DuckTales fanboy.

Venom now lives in The Federation of CommieRaq with his two roommates: Jack Evans and Muammar el-Gaddafi. Venom eventually started a large StarBucks in Commie Killer's country, approved by Kim Jong-Un. But unknown to anyone, the real reason why the Starbucks was big is because it's secretly the hideout of Venom to do his "shady" business with his co-workers and Wafez. Since Wafez is a big fan of Iraq, he wants to visit the country but Venom is too busy having his hopes and dreams being destroyed ever since Wafez was born.

### The Last Jedi Incident

On 14th January, 2019. Venom was talking to several members when Grumpy Koala mentioned the Last Jedi, a controversial Star Wars movie. This sent Venom on a ragefully mood. Venom started to spit out Australian stereotypes and started making many threats to murder his entire household and marry his father. He even threatened to dig up his dead family members. Koala was shocked but wanted to hear more of his threats. Venom then threatened to shove the movie up his butt and compared it to the Great Depression. He then said that he will cut up his Air Conditioner, drink it's liquid, die of poisoning, come back as a ghost, haunt his house and draw bad things on Koala's walls with his butt. This event was so infamous that it was recorded on video and can be seen here.

### Discovering Tapirs

Venom eventually discovered Tapirs, a funny looking animal and started a trend with him of creating "Venom JoowBear Creatures", weird looking animals such as a fat echidna. Venom immediately got hired to make tapir propaganda to glorify those animals to everyone. To this day, Venom never left his obsession with Tapirs.

### Quest for Metal Gear Solid 6

In his home in The Federation of CommieRaq, Venom learned that Metal Gear Solid 6 is out there so he went on an adventure to find it with Geezus. This lead to so many shenanigans like being kidnapped and being chased by Vladimir Lenin/falling in love with him in a forest. But after all the struggle, he found the game but learned it was just Metal Gear Survive 2 and began to cry like a baby.

### Hollywood career

Venom has a HollyWood career in which he creates Cantina Tales, he's funded by the North Korean Government to crate them. Since Venom is somewhat of an artist, he crates cartoons out of the tales. The Cantina Tales include real accounts of the daily lives of HG members and it's glorious history. At one point, Warner Bros. wanted to hire Venom to direct the upcoming Circle-Man movie in an act of desperation. But, in an interview with Glorious Godfrey, he reveals that he likes to put bats in Microwaves which immediately got him fired from the project and instead got Zack Snyder to direct the movie. Later however, he was set to direct the remake of Breaking Bad starring HG member as the main cast.

## Persona

Venom is sarcastic and likes to do a lot of things despite not having any emotions. He doesn't care about his son and is ruthless. However, he has a weakness which is Velveeta cheese. Once one person shows this type of cheese to Venom, he runs like a chicken away. Venom also has a Napoleon Complex because of his height, bizarrely he's 6 foot 3 so he's just incredibly delusional.

## Trivia

* He was there at the independence of the Kingdom of Jordan, hiding among everyone.
* Speaking of Arabia, Venom has a lot of deals and businesses in the Middle East, unlike his shady ones in the West, his businesses in the Middle East are all legit.
* Venom was invited to many places by Wafez, including his high school where Venom revealed in front of the class that he eats rats. He was also invited to Commie Killer's base where he accidentally let out Tapir Propaganda everywhere.
* Venom hates being a good father to the point if he ever went to jail, it'd be his punishment.
* Venom at one point tried to write a HG musical but scrapped it when writing it got boring.
* Venom usually depicts himself in the comics he creates. It is still to be determined if this is an ego thing or because he has limited drawing skills. Experts say a bit of both.

## Pictures

Young Venom JoowBearVenom at his Tapir farmAssassination of James GarfieldVenom and Wafez at their hideout inside StarBucksVenom's Apartment with Jack Evans and Muammar el-Gaddafi