Airstrip Logan

## Disclaimer

This page does not contain anything related to stripping. For sexual pleasure, please see Wally Gnewikow.

## History of Airstrip Logan

In the year of 1984 the bold students of Logan High School rebelled against their capitalistic school teachers, the leader of the great revolution being Wally Gnewikow. Brother Gnewikow lead our school to great glory, making us technologically advanced (especially with the new addition of personal "schoolscreens," known by the Freshproles as "laptops"), he also has lead us victoriously against our arch rival Central-asia.

## School Code

By law, students shall never even so much as *think* of questioning Mr. Gnewikow's leadership. Remember that your schoolscreens are always monitoring and watching your behavior (in and out of school). If someone breaks a valuable part of the school code they will be punished by the thought school officers.

## Official Language

The official language of Airstrip Logan is Ranger Language. Students must speak Ranger Language at all times during their time at school. New copies of the Ranger Dictionary are published every year for your convenience.

## Class System

Airstrip Logan is comprised of four (4) classes: the Inner-Seniors, Inner-Juniors, Outer-Sophomores, and the lowliest of the classes, the Freshproles. The Inner-Seniors are the secretive head of Airstrip Logan, surpassed in power only by Brother Gnewiko's Inner Staff. They look down upon the other classes, and demand fealty during Hatecoming week. However, all of the classes look down upon the hated Freshproles, the reprobate of Airstrip Logan Society. They are the target of Friday-Minutes' Hate, a weekly frenzy of hatred and violence.

## Clubs

### Peace Club

The peace club helps deal with our arch rival Central-asia. Our peace club has practice everyday after school on the football field.

#### Ark War

Every year we face our bitter opponents, the vicious red raiders of Central-asia, in a war for school dominance. This year Logan crushed our opponents, defeating Central-asia in a score of 22-10. History shows how we have been able to regularly defeat them every year.

### Plenty Club

This club makes sure that everyone gets what they need. Because of them we have our rations, school supplies, and textbooks. We are happy to report that the pencil production is up 23%!

### Love Club

Misbehaving students will be sent to the Love Club, where they will spend the rest of their sanity living a meaningless life, in which good behavior will be rewarded with rations and poor behavior with beatings.

#### Room 101

This is the special room where *really* naughty students get sent. Students in this room will be tortured using their greatest fear unless they betray their loved ones.

### Truth Club

In this club, students are able to plan our special events and compile school records. Every year we have multiple events, one of the most popular ones is Hatecoming week. Throughout the week we devote all our anger towards our enemies, following it up by a performance by the Peace Club and a dance in appreciation of Brother Genewiko.

## Resistance Movement

There is said to be a secret documentation only known as "The Wiki", where students are able to express their true feelings about Airstrip Logan and Mr. Gnewikow. Some doubt of its existence, while others claim that there are even members of the resistance within the Inner Staff.