Edgar

With the recent uprise of Disney remakes; there was talk about them making a new movie similar in the vein to Maleficent which gives us a spin on a classic Disney villain, and makes the movie going audience realise that maybe villains are people too. It changes the way the character is viewed as my mentor Micah Slayer would say. In any case, Disney was keen on making another movie about a Disney villain but they felt stumped for a long time trying to figure out which one from their iconic catalogue of villains to make it about. To this end, Disney hired rough and tough film director John Eckhart. Eckhart was relatively new to the directing scene having only directed one film thus far entitled You Can't Throw The Ball: A True Story, the film was a modest success and that's when the phone calls came in. Eckhart received a phone call from Stephen Spielberg who wanted Eckhart to direct his movie all about a man who wears nothing but clown shoes. It was meant to be a satirical jab at the current lack of good shops including the Shoe Zone in Cal Cutter which was boarded up when the men with the axes and the seal club mafia from out of state came into the city. Eckhart however was short sighted, and had mistaken Spielberg for another Stephen Spielberg who used to teach Eckhart geography at his old school. Once again; Eckhart is very dumb and the teacher's name was actually Randall though Eckhart was certainly right that man was an old bastard barking anecdotes about rivers to his students like he was an army drill sergeant. Eckhart was reportedly a massive fan of Disney, and so was very keen on making a film for them. Additionally according to his website which please don't go on it'll give you ass flu; Eckhart was very upset with how Disney seems to neglect villains from their lesser beloved films like Black Cauldron, Home On The Range, and Oliver And Company. Initially before deciding on making a film about Edgar Balthazar AKA the main antagonist of the 1970's classic Aristocats; Eckhart's first choice had been the Horned King of Black Cauldron fame. Disney however hated the Black Cauldron as that film had nearly bankrupted their studio back in the day, and they didn't want any films or tv shows to be made connected to it.

It wasn't the first time that someone had suggesting making a spin off related to Black Cauldron; as when Disney+ was first launched an up and comer at Disney HQ named Roger suggested making a show all about Fflewddur Fflam the iconic harp player from the film who always smiles smugly as he reminds the three witches that they always make a bargain. He was quite the smug tug that Fflewddur Fflam, and the tv show that Roger pitched was called The Fflam Jam, and it involved Fflam becoming a travelling musician who is very interested in joining a music group known as The Big Boys who are actually the main antagonists of the series. Quite a cruel group as they are very racist towards crocodiles, and when a crocodile was found on their river boat they threw the creature into the sea and then tried to kill it with their AK47's which they got from Emmett a gunsmith who was the best friend of Fflam in the series. Emmet appeared to be quite senile having horrid hearing, and also he slept in a 1940's jeep but deep down he was a very shallow man who gave up his protests on having speed bumps added to the Mickey D's across the street from his shop in favour of selling guns to horrid groups like The Big Boys. Wen The Pig who can see into the future and The Horned King's right-hand man Creeper (yes that's his actual name) both would have been major characters in the series with Wen now being voiced by Jack Black, and would have been working in an accounting firm as ole Wen sure does love settling accounts. Creeper would have been Wen's boss at the firm, and he acted nothing like he did in the film instead just being an expy of Roger's old boss at his law firm back when he was training to become a lawyer, he stopped trying after he failed to defend his client correctly. He hadn't even read a crucial piece of evidence which was hidden in a book about green eggs from Greece which would have revealed his client's innocence, but Roger claimed that the book was too long and he tried reading it during the court case but the judge was having none of that as he rudely had Roger debriefed and thrown out onto the streets where he turned to Disney for a job. Once again, Disney refused to have anything to do with the Black Cauldron, and they responded by having Roger sent to work in the treadmill in Full Vigour. Bad business. It should also be noted that Eckhart had wanted to make Edgar using traditional hand drawn animation, but Disney threatened to give Eckhart a mock release whereby they provide little to no advertising and allow Edgar to die in the theatres. Eckhart's second favourite Disney film after The Black Cauldron was Aristocats, and so he decided to make a film about that film's villain instead. Edgar Balthazar the evil butler who decides to get rid of the wealthy cats he looks after so that he can claim the sweet inheritance money, as otherwise he'll only inherit after the cats. Production on the film began without a script though as filming went along the script was written by Eckhart and two unnamed writers one of whom looked like a real Mike Mozart, and kept making a joke about how the difference between a big hill and a big pill is that a big hill is hard to get up. What?

Taking place roughly 20 years before the events of Aristocats; Edgar details the life of Edgar Balthazar before he found work as Madam Bonafamile's butler. Paris is depicted as crime ridden and slimy, with trash bags all around the city. Edgar having very little options is forced to work at a propane company named Packing Heat ran by a man named Todd Packer. Packer had formally worked at Strickland, but he left after seeing how much of a wet blanket the top salesman Hank Hill was. Packer tried to convince Hank that they needed to jack up the prices on the propane tanks, and rake in the dough but Hank was having none of it as he said, "I don't wanna hear it boy." Packer was actually only three years younger than Hank, but Packer decided to get back at Strickland by forming his own company entitled Packing Heat. Eckhart intended Packer to be the breakout character, as he hoped to give Packer his own series entitled Packing Up. Todd Packer was very unpleasant, and often pulled horrific pranks on Edgar which only serve to ensure that Edgar's tenure at the company was not a pleasant one. In one brutal scene, Packer provides Edgar with an apparent oil branch which is a big batch of honey comb. Edgar claimed to hate the taste of the honey comb, yet he licked his fingers after every bite but then it turned out that the honeycomb was full of bees which were sleeping like sleepy bees and Edgar ended up getting a swollen tongue after the bees gave him a damn good hiding. Edgar responded by telling Packer that one day, he will be taught a real lesson which made Packer very impressed. Impressed by the courage put on display by Edgar, Packer decided to send Edgar to act his door to door salesman selling propane to the locals who can't reach the company's headquarters located in the very heart of Paris. Edgar tried to sell the propane to old ladies who were more concerned with throwing black paint at T shirts that hung upon their washing line than they were in listening to anything that poor ole Edgar had to say. Edgar also formed common enemies with a dog that lived on the estate which always gave chase to Edgar whenever he attempted to slide the propane tank under the door of that dog's owner's home. How do you push a propane tank under a door? Well; let's just say that it was a very big door. Now that's not to say; that working at Packing Heat was entirely a miserable back breaking experience as there were a couple of genuinely good people working there; two of which became good friends of Edgar.

A female character had been planned to appear in the film as a potential love interest which would have served as an adding of the tragedy. This was given a nod in the final film in which Edgar sees a woman in the park where he eats his smelly sandwiches in a lunchbox caked in mould as it was only one he could afford from the local lunchbox imperium. The lady with red hair and a smile of a cauliflower waved at Edgar, but then she got hit by a car. It was meant to be a scene that would make Edgar feel very guilty as he would have felt that he distracted his one true love from not looking both ways before crossing the street, but alas it was not meant to be. Edgar's two friends at Packing Heat were Donnie Dot and Michael Bird. Michael Bird was the Squidward Tentacles equivalent of the film, always getting the world shitting on him because he dared to never crack a smile. He was also a proper serious bore as he was ironically extremely knowledgeable about birds, and would often go on big tangents about the types of birds he knew most specifically Michael's favourite bird was the lammergeier. Bird often told the story at staff parties of how lammergeiers often drop turtles on rocks in order to crush the shell, and how one time in Greece a bird mistook the bald head of a man for a rock and so dropped a turtle on the man's head killing him instantly. Despite his deadpan tone and serious exterior, Michael was by far the nicest character in the film and the only person who could make Edgar laugh. He was also incredibly loyal something that was noted by a Scottish sea captain who visited the company after his boat ran out of gas. Michael Bird often suffered several misfortunes over the course of the film, including the infamous mid credits scene where during a baseball game two sentient Chips Ahoy cookies nicknamed The Chips Ahoy Brothers squeeze in next to Michael who is so squashed he has no other option than to sneer. He also loses 50,000 euros in a game show after Edgar calls him at the worst possible time, and he always looks very tired as he always wakes up at 4.30 in the morning. He spends his afternoons gambling with cronies from the local Mafia, and sometimes sees a show at the local theatre which only show silent films as talkies were banned in Paris at the time Edgar was set. Its just a sign of the times Miss Jones. Anyways, the other friend of Edgar was Donnie Dot who unlike Michael Bird he had very little tolerance of fun, and was quite a serious person who was angered over the fact that his attempt to break into acting hadn't exactly panned out for him.

Donnie Dot lived in Los Angeles for several years where he starred in a small play entitled Scare The Crows Give The Flows; the play was about a scarecrow played by Donnie who leaves his farm behind in order to go to Hollywood in an attempt to make it famous. While in Hollywood' the scarecrow befriends a local talent scout who tells the scarecrow that he'll need a haircut if he wants anyone to take him seriously. The scarecrow gets a haircut from a hairdresser who is a serious weirdo that keeps tongues in a jar, and he also injected people with a needle the size of the Empire State Building before he began trimming their hair. According to the hairdresser; he had a bad habit of accidentally cutting people's ears while he cut and he didn't want them to feel so the needles were filled with custard. The scarecrow is then forced to become a sell out for Starbursts, and is forced to go along with their pink starburst scheme in which every pack of Starbursts contains only the pink ones. The play ends with the scarecrow on a street corner chugging a beer with a man walrus, and the scarecrow wonders if the choices we make are the choices we bake. The play received mixed reviews, no one in the audience really laughed though they did cry when the scarecrow learned that his beloved pet bee had died after crashing onto the windshield of someone's car. Probably a Honda Accord. Disgraced by the play's lacklustre performance, Donnie used his grandfather's connections in the French Government to negotiate a safe passage to Paris where he met Edgar and Michael at their favourite bar the Nighty Night Bar. Donnie was concerned by Edgar's sudden temper during the trio's nightly drinking sessions, and on incident he pulled Edgar aside and remarked, "Edgar man; you're troubled you should be seeing a psychiatrist." Edgar looked at Donnie thoughtfully as he said, "you might be right Donnie, you might be right." Well he's certainly not left is he Edgar? In any case, Edgar was developing something of a temper especially following the aforementioned honey comb incident, and he was starting to vent his anger on the fruit machine. Vent your anger on the locals Edgar not on the beloved fruit machine that Michael Bird planned to propose to once the time was right. Edgar's living arrangements may have also been a factor in his recent anger issues as Edgar in an attempt to save money boarded with a family of polar bears in an old apartment complex in the rural countryside which helped to explain how Edgar is so knowledgeable about the route to the country in Aristocats. The polar bears iced the apartment so it was covered in ice, and was kind of like an indoor igloo. The cold never bothered Edgar anyway, he was more angry over the fact that every day on the trek to the bus stop he was harassed by the local rich folk most prominently George Hautecourt. George Hautecourt is a character from Aristocats who is Madam Bonafamila's implied lover, as he is the one to write up their will and expresses his shock when the Madam suggests leaving her millions to Edgar. The Madam of course corrects Hautecourt, and says that she intends to give the money to her cats for some reason.

By the time of Aristocats; George Hautecourt is senile, but a very kind old man who loves going up the stairs with Edgar nearly breaking the bloody butler's suspenders when he nearly trips down the steps like the mad Hautecourt he is. Much like with King Steffan and The Grand Duke; Hautecourt was a character from an old Disney movie who was reimagined as a villian for a remake. In Edgar; Hautecourt is a cruel horrid man with a murderous streak as he regularly runs over people with his car, but he is unable to be convicted of his crimes as the entire police department is on his payroll and for big money too. There was a big recession going on in Paris, and the cops needed the extra dosh especially when their sons started attending Fordham University. Hautecourt is the chief investor in Packing Heat, having provided Todd Packer with the necessary funds to buy the company which was formally a warehouse which sold old clothes and handkerchiefs. The pair had to wait six months because the warehouse was overrun with bats, and bats are considered first class citizens in Paris during the time that Edgar is set. Hautecourt really had it out for Edgar, and whenever Edgar walked past him he would try and trip the young propane salesman up with his cane which more often than not resulting in Hautecourt tripping over himself. Serves ya right you old coot! Edgar had taken Donnie's advice to see someone, and was currently attending threapy with Doctor Nicholson. Nicholson really wanted to see how hard it was to get a rise out from Edgar, and basically badgered Edgar into telling him who he was. Edgar didn't understand the question, and kept messing it up and not answering it the way that Nicholson wanted him. "Edgar; you're describing your favourite brand of cat food; I just want to know who you are." Doctor Nicholson joked to which Edgar yelled, "I don't know what the blooming heck you want me to say good Sir!" Indeed, Edgar was always quite a posh bosh what what even before becoming a butler; he was always mocked at school over the way he said, "duck," and his classmates often made Edgar it during games of duck, duck, goose as a result of this. From that point on, Nicholson began bunking with Edgar at his cramped apartment, and Nicholson would make Edgar get up at 5 in the morning and he also made Edgar cook him eggs on toast for breakfast. Sadly, Dr Nicholson appeared to suffer from anger issues of his own as he would throw the eggs at the kitchen wall if they weren't cooked exactly the way he wanted them. Sensing Edgar's trouble at work; Nicholson suggested that Edgar join him in a rather risky venture. "What kind of risky venture?" Edgar asked as he put another plate of eggs on toast in front of the doctor who said, "I'm talking about robbing a milk truck." Edgar gulped. Prior to this point, Edgar had been a firm upholder of the law, and had refused to partake in any kind of criminal activity, but he really did need the money and maybe robbing a milk truck wouldn't attract too much attention. Edgar had lost a great deal of his euros after hiring two painters to paint his bedroom, but the painters were actually con men who did no painting and busied themselves by taking long snoozes on Edgar's rundown couch while they used the money that Edgar had paid them with to buy chips and sausage rolls from the local Greggs. Edgar was getting desperate.

Still concerned over whether it was a good call to help Nicholson or not; Edgar headed to the Nighty Night Bar where he asked for the opinion of Michael and Donnie. Michael of course was very unemotional but was confident that Edgar could pull off the robbery, and even went as far as to ask Edgar if he wanted him to come along. Donnie being his usual wet blanket self strongly discouraged it, as he knew that the rich folk in the city especially George Hautecourt were looking for a reason to have Edgar sent to prison, and this could provide them with the excuse they needed. After Edgar gave a very convincing argument whereby he basically blackmailed Donnie into help by saying he wouldn't expose Donnie's fear of clowns. It didn't help that the Nighty Night Bar had a ceiling window, and an incredibly sinister clown glares at you while you drink from the bar's stocks which came from Greece a rural village where a man with a smelly hand rubs his fingers upon your window. Why is there so much Greece is this story? John Eckhart probably wanted to make a movie about Hades, but Disney was having none of that. Still, Donnie provided Edgar with a scarecrow costume the same one from his aforementioned play which Edgar could use to disguise himself during the robbery. The robbery took place in the Paris countryside; a truck carrying bottles of premium milk was driving along the lane. The milkman driving was the same one from Aristocats, and his name was given as Salvatore Benilli. His father had served the Benilli Crime Family in Sicily back in the old days, which helps to explain why Benilli received such respect from the other milkmen. In contrast to the violent cat hating bastard he becomes in Aristocats; the Salvatore Benilli in Edgar is a very kind person who is delivering his milk to the local shops as their milk pipes have burst. Wearing the scarecrow costume; Edgar stood in the middle of the road and pretended to be an actual scarecrow. Benilli pulled the truck over, and got out to investigate. Benilli really wanted to know what a scarecrow's insides feel like, and so he stuck his fist right into Edgar's chest but he found no straw much to his shock as he asked, "what is this?" Michael Bird appeared from behind Benlli, and proceeded to hit him across the head with a frying pan. While he was in capitated, the trio of Edgar, Bird, and Nicholson proceeded to steal the truck. Benilli chased after the truck, a comical chase scene which wouldn't have been out of place for Scooby Doo began to play. Sal chased the truck all the way up to a nearby barn which is when the truck ran out of gas. At the back of the barn there was a hill with a long country lane going down it, which could be used to get back to Paris in time for tea. Edgar would have to give the truck a big push so that it could pick up enough speed to roll down the hill. With Michael Bird's help; Edgar tried to push the truck while Dr Nicholson just sat in the front seat eating a strawberry ice cream. Salvatore Benilli appeared from behind Edgar and asked, "how could you do a thing like this? I have a family good Sir!" Edgar felt gulity, but he had no time to consider his feelings before Dr Nicholson put the truck in reverse and slammed into Benilli sending him flying to the other side of the barn where he ended up falling into a slurry pit. "I don't feel so good inside." Benilli whined as he drowned in the slurry pit, He was recovered thankfully by the farmers who owned the barn, and they teased Benilli by nicknaming mudd eyes as he now had cow muck covering his eyes. They claimed that the nickname was to increase Salvatore Benilli's embarrassing confidence issues, but it was just a cruel nickname likely implying that the farmers were getting their kickbacks from the Tattaglias.

Upon realising that his beloved milk truck was gone; Benilli nearly lost it but was offered a glass of milk but because his hands were smelly he ended up dropping the glass down on the ground where the milk sucked into the carpet, and what was left of the milky goodness was licked up by a cat. Enraged, Benilli proceeded to drop kick the cat down the hill as he declared he will kill anyone that comes between him and his milk. This explains why he tried so hurt to kill Duchess and her kittens in Aristocats. According to rumour mill, an Aristocats TV series was planned which would have featured Salvatore Benilli as a regular character with him trying to kill the cats in every episode. In one episode, he would have left out a bowl of tuna for the cats laced with poison, but another cat a proper dog of a cat would have eaten it instead. The cat died, but to make matters worse it was owned by the sister in law of a local mobster who threatened Benilli into fessing up to the crime. Not wanting to lose his license to milkshake, Benilli opted to pay the man off with a ransom. The two men had a meeting atop the Brooklyn Bridge where Benilli presented the ransom, which the gangster threw into the sea as he claimed that he'll be taking over the milk float from now on. Sadly, the show was never picked up because Disney realised that they didn't want to paint such a bad image of milkmen as they hoped to realise their own brand of Mickey Mouse themed chocolate milkshakes. According to Dr Nicholson during the ride back to Paris; the truck had never ran out of gas he was just pretending in order to boost Edgar's confidence when confronted by a threat like Salvatore Benilli. The milk truck was sold on the black market the same one that sells Shrek toys from 2007 McDonalds, and don't you dare lick the paint of that Shrek toy otherwise an overly threatening man will yell at you through the speakers on the toy's back. The following day while heading to work, Edgar got the odd feeling that he was being followed. A man in an overcoat and hat had been standing next to Edgar's apartment building smoking a cigarette, and when he saw Edgar exit the apartment he began to follow. Just as Edgar was about to cross the street to work, he was confronted on the zebra crossing by another man in an overcoat and hat who held up his badge as he asked, "Edgar Balathazar?" "Yes that's me." Edgar said as he attempted to walk past only to feel his hands getting handcuffed by the detective who had been following him. "You're under arrest for the theft of a propane truck belonging to Packing Heat. Anything you say now; can and will be used against you in a court of law." The detective said as Edgar was tossed into back of a police cruiser. Michael Bird had witnessed the arrest while walking his dog along the early morning streets. Frightened for his best friend and also equally frightened that he may get picked up too, Michael headed to a local bar where he confronted Dr Nicholson over what had happened. Sadly, Nicholson was in mood for confrontations right now as he got up from his chair and yelled at Michael; "first of all; lower your fucking voice! Secondly, we'll talk about it later not now. Go home, and have a magnum." Yes, the film had swearing in it as the Disney really wanted to appeal to the youths, after a Disney exec went undercover at a local high school in order to see how the kids be talking these days.

Sadly, this was when Michael Bird disappeared from the film until the mid credits scene as Dr Nicholson having lost his cool when Michael confronted him, decided to order a hit on the poor lad. Michael had two options when the hitmen arrived at his crib; kill the assassins but he knew that wouldn't be wise as Nicholson would only send more. Nicholson was quite willy nilly when it came to hiring hitmen, as he would hire a hitman all the time whenever people at his anger management classes were a bit too angry for his taste. Bird instead decided to go on the run to South America where he got a job at a local restaurant where all he does is pick peas out from a bag. Doesn't that just sound like the dream? Once at the prison, Edgar was briefed on exactly what had been happening by his now ex boss Todd Packer. Yesterday, exactly the same time that the milk truck robbery occurred a propane truck had also gone missing. Packer knew that Edgar was having doubts over his time at the company, having been spying on Edgar's mail. Edgar protested his innocence or at least tried to as he cried, "I was not my fault! I am an innocent man! I was framed I was..." "You can explain all of that in court on Monday buddy ole pal." Packer said smugly as he wrapped his big pot noodle stained arm around Edgar's ear. "How did you know that I robbed a truck yesterday anyhow, if it is supposedly true?" Edgar asked. "You really need to pick your friends better kid." Packer said before continuing with, "your mate Donnie cleared you out." "Donnie? Michael surely." Edgar said as tears swelled in his nose. "Michael Bird? We found him at the airport this morn getting ready to head to South America, The cops sweated him a couple times before he got on the plane, but he never talked a word so we had to let him go." Packer cleared his throat as he then continued with, "Donnie Dot on the other hand; that splendid young man called us up just a few hours ago, and told us that you had robbed a truck." "You don't understand! I did rob a truck, but it was only a milk truck not a propane one!" Edgar whined as Packer then said, "see; ole Donnie said you would say that, but I think you're using milk truck as a cover." The jail cells were currently full, as the police were so desperate to arrest people that they often arrested people for the pettiest of reasons like throwing a half eaten sandwich in the bin when they're full or pouring coffee into the washing machine of a Molinari Family Capo. Edgar was allowed to go home while the cops made his cell nice and comfy, he was also advised to get a lawyer but before Edgar did that he had someone to confront regarding this recent development. His old friend Donnie Dot. At the Nighty Night Bar, Edgar confronted Donnie while he played on the fruit machine claiming that he knew Donnie was responsible for his recent arrest. Donnie tried to act unknowing by saying, "Edgar I don't what you're going on about, but that doctor of yours must be a serious whacko." Edgar then left the bar in the huff, but not before knocking the tray of scotch pies out from the hands of the local delivery man as he then turned around and declared that Donnie was barred from his birthday party. Donnie just looked sad so very sad indeed as Edgar left the bar, and headed home in order to look through the phonebook to find the best lawyer he could to represent him.

This is when I talk some behind the scenes stuff; Donnie Dot was actually intended to be a lot more in the movie but his actor dropped out early due to the director John Eckhart being horrid on set always barking orders through a megaphone even when he was standing right next to you. He also smoked 50 cigars a day which meant the set stunk like ass. Donnie's actor described the rest of the cast as lovely, and he loved the script but he hated the director and so left very early in production which meant that a lot of Donnie's scenes ended up on the chopping block. After Edgar's outburst at the Nighty Night Bar, there was supposed to be a scene afterwards which took place outside the bar in which Donnie confronts Edgar about what happened and then assures Edgar that he can tell him anything. There was also more depth given to Donnie Dot in which is it explained that he only sold out Edgar after being paid by George Hautecourt to do so. He needed the money to pay for his grandmother's new set of teeth after she broke the old ones eating a raw radish at the family BBQ. Additionally, at one point during the films pre-production phase, it was originally decided that Michael Bird would be the traitor while Donnie was the one who stayed loyal. The actor playing Michael Bird refused to believe that his character could be a traitor, and so it was changed to Donnie, but scenes explaining Donnie's motives and a possible redemption arc were all scrapped following the actor's sudden departure. Scanning through the phonebook, Edgar came across an ad for Brick Baker Attorney At Law. Brick Baker was a lawyer often in the newspapers. Edgar knew of Brick's shadiness and his lack of standards when it came to lawyering. Brick Baker in order to ensure he won a case, would often hold mock trials in which a deaf judge was the one presiding. The deaf judge assumed that the accused was mocking him when they didn't answer his questions correctly, and that judge would sentence the unlucky son of a gun to be flogged in the pillar and then be placed in the stocks as that judge still relied on punishments from the 1400's, The judge was only still in power due to the prosecutor being his part-time lover, even though the prosecutor also got annoyed with the judge and his horrid hearing too. The judge tried using one of those horn things to hear with, but he felt like people weren't taking him seriously and so he abandoned it.

While waiting on a bench outside of Brick Baker's office in Upper Paris, Edgar was met with by two detectives named Garrity and Burke who explained that they had some questions for Edgar, but he wasn't at home so they tailed him to Brick's offices. "Mr Edgar, forgive me. My name is Detective Garrity." The man then gestured towards his partner and said, "this is my partner Detective Burke. We had a few questions for you, but you weren't home." "I'll make your interrogation very easy Officers, I didn't do it." Edgar said bluntly to which a perplexed Burke then asked, "well if you didn't do it then who did?" "Merchants probably." Edgar joked as he then made a stink about how he needed to see his lawyer in order to discuss the case. Edgar was wary of Detective Garrity as he used to work for the Pinkerton Detective Agency circa 1999 when he was just a humble protégé of Agent Milton. Burke didn't talk much back then as he just let Milton do all the talking, and he also remained beautifully impassive when Milton ordered him to follow to the other side of the port as they had a lot of work to. Garrity joined the Paris Police Department where he became a ruthless detective, and he had it out for Edgar. After receiving a door to door visit from Edgar who was the current salesman for Packing Heat, Garrity had been fooled into buying a propane tank which he used to heat the house of his best friend a reverend mouse who is a big fan of Mouse Russell Crow movies, but don't you dare suggest bringing your solicitor over to a watch along of Crowe's films as this will anger the reverend and he will back peddle so quickly you'd almost forget he still uses stabilizers for his bike. Wanting to do something extra for his friend, Garrity installed the propane tank in the kitchen of the rev's home only for to catch fire just a day or two after it's placement. Garrity blamed Edgar for the incident, even though the reverend mouse was okay and had gone on the run to Los Angeles where he became muscle for a local choir enforcer who gives speeches in a grand lecture hall about how all he ever wanted is a whosit. He also had an incredibly deep voice, and all he wants know is if you're ready. I see what you're doing Ricardo. Sorry about that, I just got distracted in any case Edgar walked into the office of the one and only Brick Baker. Brick Baker appeared to be a man who didn't take himself very seriously as he kept making one liners during his first meeting with Edgar, and clearly shows that had he not of been such a good lawyer than a career in stand up comedy would have been his job indeed. Brick seemed puzzled when he read the file for Edgar's case, but then he shook his head as he said, "Edgar my friend, I think you have an excellent case." "So you'll represent me?" Edgar asked to which Brick responded in an incredibly obnoxious tone of voice, "DUH!" He was quite obnoxious that Brick Baker, and though he claimed to be a man of the law he was quite infamous in his childhood home of Timberline for sneaking into the community centre after dark and nicking sandwiches from the buffet table which were meant for the old farts. "Can you no do that!?" The caretaker named Seth had asked to which Brick responded with, "sure I can, but the question is do I want to?" Edgar wasn't entirely sure on hiring Brick, but he believed that Brick's skills as a master manipulator could be used to his advantage. He wanted to prove to that prick Todd Packer that he was innocent, and that he was being framed like a frame. Not a very nice frame either much to the sadness of Mr Bean I'm sure.

At The Palace Le Justice, Edgar sat anxiously in his chair waiting for the judge to make his appearance. Brick Baker arrived fashionably late as normal, and he sat down but not next to Edgar no instead he sat next to Todd Packer. "What are you doing over there? You're supposed to be my lawyer!" Edgar asked in an outraged tone at the top of his lungs to which an impassive looking Brick simply responded with, "uh Edgar, I am their lawyer." Yes indeed, Packer knew full well that Edgar was going to see Brick, and decided to get the upper hand on him by hiring Brick first. Since Edgar was skint at the moment, it meant the court had to provide an attorney for him and they selected Mike Beckham a lawyer with attitude. He was once known as a lawyer who could win a case but no matter the crime, but he lost himself after he lost his first ever case. No one is what quite what the case was about, as Beckman had made sure to destroy all records of its occurring but according to word on the street it involved two priests and a chef in a wooden barrel. Mike Beckham tried to be a good legal counsel, but most of his points just amounted to him pointing out brown the pasties were at his local Greggs. Edgar got up from his chair, and made his way over to the box where he addressed the jury where he went on an extended rant about how the rich and elite residents of Paris look down upon the poor sons of guns like him. Furthermore, Edgar went on to say that the true evil in the city were people like Todd Packer and George Hautecourt, people that use their wealth to impose fear onto the less well off people like Edgar and his dear friend Michael Bird. Edgar's story had warmed the heart of the judge, but not the jury who voted guilty across the board. The cops then came in to apprehend Edgar, but he managed to give them the slip by running out from the room before they even got a chance to get their handcuffs out as for some reasons the cops were walking in slow motion. Devastated by the betrayals of both Donnie Dot and Brick Baker, Edgar upon getting out from the courthouse debated heading straight back in to take his punishment like a man, but then he realised that he couldn't let the bad guys win unaware that in 20 years time he himself would end up becoming a bad guy. Also returning to the behind the scenes for a second, apparently Disney was very adamant that Thomas O'Malley and The Alley Cats appear in the film but John Eckhart overruled them by pointing out that there is no way O'Malley and the other cats would be alive 20 years before the events of their movie, which is why very few characters from Aristocats actually appear in the film, except for one notable one but we'll get to that when we get to it. Also, Disney was very insistent that a line handwritten by one of the execs who was an old Italian fart with glasses, "a butler with his butlerness can steal more than a hundred men with guns." Eckhart found the line too preachy, and refused to include it while he tucked on a massive loaf of bread stuffed with bacon. I don't like bacon no I don't. I prefer tacon.

Anyways, Edgar decided that he was going to skip town and go on the run to Timbuktu which is where he tries to send Duchess and her kittens during the events of Aristocats, but just before he was about to board the train he recalled a conversation he heard while leaving Packing Heat for home one night. He remembered hearing Todd Packer on the phone to his propane supplier, and how the recent propane supply was going to Madam Bonafamile the wealthiest woman in all of Paris. She was Packing Heat's top customer which explains why Packer was so enraged when her propane supply was stolen right from under her. Bonafamile used the propane to cook up burgers real French ones, as he refused to eat burgers if they came from anything other than propane. Of course, for this reason Hank Hill was a frequent visitor of hers though he secretly held her in contempt because she refused to purchase her propane from Strickland. Hank was a sadistic bastard as he planned one day to send a hitman to whack Madam Bonafamile while she attended the wedding of her jolly park mascot. Edgar decided that he was going to see Madam Bonafamile at her Mansion in Upper Paris, where he would explain how wrong the city was for thinking that Edgar was responsible for her propane truck going missing. Edgar felt very awkward while walking through the streets of Upper Paris, and probably should have practised in the garage before stepping up to someone of Madam Bonafamile's level. A huge crowd had gathered outside the manor in order to ask for justice from the Madam as there had been a recent influx of robberies in Paris due to the police being highly corrupt, and most of them were involved in the cheese trade which involved nicking cheese from local shops and then wrapping them inside a sock which could then use be used as a DIY type baton now without the bat or ton. Edgar's stomach began to make an unpleasant sound as he really needed a rest stop, but he let one rip which caused everyone in the crowd including the local Wall Street stockbrokers to faint from the obnoxious gas. The Madam was currently in her chambers receiving an audience with Von Clutch the owner of the local amusement park which is a big fan of elder abuse, the sick fucks. They have this nasty trick where they trick old people into sitting on benches which turn out to be seats for a rollercoaster, they also set the old people up to get sick while on the ride by having a food truck stationed right next to the trap bench which sold nothing but cheese and onion sandwiches. "What kind of cheese was that?" The old people would ask each other as they walked out from the park with a piece of the coaster stuck to their ass. Von Clutch's beloved power gem had been stolen and as a cyborg it meant that he was malfunctioning and pretty severely too. Edgar ran into the chambers of Madam Bonafamile, and demanded to speak with her. After explaining his story and who he was, Von Clutch was the first to offer his opinion as he said, "believe it or not, your story has touched me, and when I see my favourite Disney character my testicles tingle with joy." Keep it in your pants Clutch. Yes indeed, Von Clutch was supposed to be a fourth wall breaker of the obnoxious kind so obnoxious even more than the lawyer who likes to sue who stops the program in order to ask you the viewer at home if you remember what happened at the start of the episode, but I digress but I should also state that for the record I hate fourth wall breaks and when they happen I go out into me garden and chop a worm in half with a hacksaw. Don't believe the ads, cutting a worm in half does not make it become two. It shall be a happy earth worm no more!

Sorry I'm getting distracted because I got a big blister right on my toe. Hey, I didn't say it would be funny now did I my pork? Madam Bonafamile took Edgar out for coffee at a local shop. Outside, protests were being held against the French Government, but Bonafamile didn't care nor did Edgar, as they both enjoyed each other's company immensely. "I sympathise with your story Edgar, and I wanna help you." Madam Bonafamile and then for one moment she turned into Sean Young who had a scowl upon her face that made it look like she just smelt a wet one, "but you're missing a little thing known as evidence." That line seemed incredibly out of character not just for Madam Bonafamile of this film, but also the one we see in Edgar where she treats the butler with the upmost respect even after her cats go missing although to be fair, she had no idea that Edgar was responsible, even after the cats come back home she remains none the wiser. The reason why Sean Young played the Madam for that one line, was because the actress playing her kept cracking up during the scene because Edgar's actor Britt Lipton kept making her laugh as he pulled very weird faces as he was known to cause quite a lot of corpsing on set. Eckhart additionally wanted to show that maybe Madam Bonafamile was not so above it all, and perhaps make people think that Edgar's actions during the events of Aristocats were completely justified. Didn't work though did it Eckhart? Bonafamile now back to her normal benevolent self suggested in a joking manner that Edgar break into Packing Heat after hours, and go through the files in order to see if there was anyone working at the company who had a light wallet and wouldn't lose sleep at night if they were to say commit the armed robbery of a propane truck. Madam Bonafamile failed to realise how far Edgar would go in order to prove his innocence, and so that very evening he wearing a black beanie, black jumper, black trousers, and black sneakers which he eventually replaced with oven mitts so as to move quietly decided that he was going to perform the break in that would prove his innocence to Todd Packer and George Hautecourt. Edgar crept his way into the parking lot of Packing Heat where he saw Buck the only security guard on duty sitting in the security room sipping on a coffee mug which had a picture of Whistler's Mother on it, as Buck had been working at the Grierson Gallery during the Whistler Mother Incident of 1997 in which the entire gallery became nothing but a shameless sell out to Whistler's Mother. They had been threatened to do so by General Newton who had spent 70 billion dollars to purchase the painting of Whistler's Mother, and he forced the gallery to put it on display much to the disgust of the entire gallery who really wanted something more modern like a painting of a windmill beautifully done in oil. The Grierson was one of the modern day pioneers of the oil painting having been given many of them by bus driver Stan Butler who often painted them while tucking into sausage rolls and chips at the local graveyard as he waited for his shift to start, even though it started twenty minutes ago. Stan loved eating in graveyards as people were busy grieving they paid no mind to him tucking into his din dins, yes Stan Butler was quite the bastard and it's about time that people realise it.

Sorry about that love I got sawdust in me ears, anyways, while Buck had his back turned as he was watching some TV Burp on one of the security monitors, Edgar snuck into the security office where he proceeded to dump a whole bottle of laxative into the guard's drink. Edgar gulped at the sheer size of Buck as he was indeed a gorilla of a man, or perhaps a man of a gorilla. Edgar hid under the table, as Buck took a sip from the coffee and immediately had to go shit. Laxatives don't work that quick. Sorry, that sounded extremely cynical, but anyway to add further insult to Buck a prank often done by Todd Packer was to switch all of the keys around so that Buck wouldn't be able to navigate the company late one night as Packer feared that Buck could be a mole for a rival propane company. He was under the assumption that Buck had been planted by the wily Hank Hill. Buck's next few moments weren't pleasant as he tried to break the bathroom door down with a fire extinguisher, and when that failed he decided to give up. He ended up taking a dump inside of a washing machine, and he just above the machine trouser less as he read from a magazine suggesting that this was just a normal Thursday evening for him. With the security guard out of commission, Edgar headed upstairs to the main office of the building, but he found nothing. He then decided to check out the penthouse suite of Todd Packer, but before that he had tried the Hall of Records which contained all of the records as well as manifests for the propane deliveries. While all of the manifests were in order, only one was missing the one that had gone missing. "Strange." Edgar remarked as he took his bowler hat off, and rubbed the sweat off from his balding head as he made his way out of the Hall of Records and into the penthouse suite of the evil Todd Packer. Edgar looked through the drawers on Packer's desk, and was dismayed when he found that all of the ideas that he suggested over the years to Packer had been rudely discarded like there were just trash ready to be thrown away. One of the things thrown away, and the one that really got to Edgar was his suggestion for a cat hoodie which would have an inbuilt heater which could only maintain heat through the use of propane. Packer hated the idea, as he felt like Edgar was suggesting he had a fetish for cats, and his only fetish is bumblebees. Packer never took Edgar seriously, and whenever Edgar tried to suggest a brand idea to him the rude Packer simply turned him away as he remarked that he had a lot of work to do and could not be disturbed. Just as Edgar was about to leave the room, he suddenly saw something on Packer's desk that he had failed to take notice of until now. It was Packer's laptop which he had neglected to shut off as he often did with most things in his life. Edgar headed on over to where the laptop was situated, and opened the lid up where he saw a horrifying sight. It was a back and forth email between Packer and George Hautecourt. Even though Aristocats takes place in the early 1910's or 1920's, and Edgar is supposed to take place 20 years before those events technology seemed to be very much existent here. When asked about this, Eckhart simply responded this was a case of whibbly whobbly timey wimey.

The email casted a light on the real actions of George Hautecourt, who was the real man behind the plan to frame Edgar with Todd Packer being nothing more than his lackey. Hautecourt plotted to have Edgar thrown into jail, and then he and Packer would set to work on framing Madam Bonafamile by making it seem she was involved in criminal dealings of a thespian nature, whatever that means. Once she was thrown behind bars with Edgar by her side, Hautecourt would set to work on implementing a propane tank in which people who could not pay for their propane were sent to work in one of Hautecourt's many propane factories which were going to be built in the hills behind Paris as he intended to turn Packing Heat into a franchise, even though Todd Packer had no interested in franchising but this was no longer his world and he really should have learned that lesson when Hautecourt ordered Packer to kill his pet Komodo Dragon. "Calm down Mr Balathazar." A voice said in the distance, as Edgar felt the unmistakable feel of a revolver pressed against his back by none other than George Hautecourt himself. Edgar let out a series of coughs having been eating cough drops whule he read the email, and one of the drops had gone down the wrong way. "That's quite the cough Edgar." Hautecourt remarked as he then said, "and so you now know the truth, and I'm afraid I can't let you go, for if the world was to know my plot the consequences could be dirrahea." "What?" Edgar asked. "Sorry, I meant dire. Forgive me." Hautecourt as his stomach began rumbling like a rumble in the jungle. Hautecourt decided to delay his killing of Edgar, as he walked on over to Packer's desk and sat down with his lunchbox in hand as he began tucking into his late night lunch. Hautecourt pulled out a pot of pink custard, and didn't pleased by the very pale colour it was it looked more like a light pink when the pot clearly said it would be a hot pink. There's a big difference. Edgar rubbed his chin curiously childlike as Hautecourt remarked, "if only this custard was a little mm richer." Edgar put his hand upon the shoudler of Hautecourt which nearly caused the bloody thing to snap in two as Hautecourt was as frail as a Cadbury's Flake, even before the events of Aristocats as Edgar like some kind of Rayman then said, "I think I have an idea." Edgar and Hautecourt made a deal. Edgar offered to make George Hautecourt the perfect pink custard if Hautecourt were to admit his innocence at an appeal hearing the following Monday which Edgar had managed to negotiate with Brick Baker who may be a crooked son of a gun, but just like his mentors Orddu, Orwen, and Orgoch he had it driled in his mind to always make a bargain. He was also a big fan of musicals that Brick Baker, and he often got on the stage with the singers much to the anger of his implied lover the Lionel Richie imposter who was quite miserable when not singing as he would stand in the parking lot outside the theatre tucking into a donna kebab and chips. Curry sauce all over your,,, sorry I was just placing my order to the local chippy which happily serve dead gas men in their kebab meat, but in any case Edgar placed a bowl of pink custard in front of Hautecourt who sat at the table of Edgar's shared apartment. Hautecourt picked at the bowl with an eyebrow raised as he remarked, "he must be joking."

George Hautecourt lifted the bowl up into the air, and took a sip from it and then soon the entire contents of the bowl had entered his crusty old man mouth. "It cannot be!" Hautecourt cried, as Edgar was indeed a master when it came to cooking pink custard having been taught a recipe by his Grandmother Edgar back when he was poor and content to be so. Edgar's grandmother had also been the one to introduce Edgar to the famous crème dela Edgar, which Lipton had teased on his Twitter that we would finally be getting the recipe for, but this turned out to be a case of trolling creator. Edgar however was angering his dear granny quite a bit, as he was supposed to leave the custard to sit for exactly 45 minutes before serving as otherwise it can cause you to become quite insane, and indeed that it was happened to Hautecourt as within a flick of a hat he lost his cruel nature and agreed to Edgar's deal. He provided Edgar with the means to prove that Todd Packer had been behind the propane robbery. Packer was led outside of the courthouse by two heavily built police officers, and was thrown into the back of a patty wagon. Todd's face gave the ultimate expression, and clearly read, "was it really worth it?" Well Packer, was it? With Todd Packer disposed of and George Hautecourt now an insane old man with the love of a good joke once and a while, Edgar headed into town and checked his purple watch which he likely stole from Mego when he was out for his morning jogs. It was 2 in the afternoon, and Edgar was heading to his local Premiere Store in order to buy a bottle of champagne as he planned on having a champagne breakfast for the very first time in his life. After buying the beverage, Edgar looked gobsmacked as he didn't realise that it would cost so much, as he failed to realise that at Premiere stores everything is premiere but the price. Ah! Edgar stood at the front of the till, and after getting the champagne placed into the bag he placed a bag of Haribo tang tastics also onto the till which made the shopkeep stare daggers into Edgar's eyes who showed no fear as he said, "it's for the kids." Edgar had become a new man ever since taking care of the Hautecourt intrigue, and now his sole motivation was pride. Edgar paid for his items, but that was the shopkeep received a call from the hospital. She looked concerned as she handed the phone to Edgar and said, "it's for you Sir." Edgar ran out from the shop after hearing what was going down, and he ran all the way to the hospital and he ran so fast that it didn't even look like he was acting. Edgar reached the hospital and hung around in the reception waiting to receive a visit from Doctor Goodman who ironically wasn't very good, and was quite lazy. Madam Bonafamile had a bit of a tumble she had slipped on the ground while at The Jarden a restaurant specializing in entertainment and trampolines which were provided by the trampoline lords. Whenever people performed at the restaurant, they strongly encouraged people to go on the trampolines but they often refused which made the host feel very awkward as they are quite awkward people at the end of the day. Anyways according to the nurse that been speaking to Edgar on the phone, Madam Bonafamile had recently gotten her hands on the coveted polar bear novelty ice cream, which was a polar bear toy with minty ice cream inside. Sadly, in her excitement to get the treat over to her table, Madam Bonafamile ended up slipping on the recently scrubbed floor, as the restaurant didn't believe in wet floor signs and believed that people were becoming weaker by conforming to them. She was taken to the hospital to have her head checked by the miserable Doctor Goodman. Thankfully, Goodman was out on the town on a bench in the middle of an empty bus station where he ate from a bag of almond M&M's.

The doctor currently observing Madam Bonafamile was not better, as he was known as Doctor Ufland; the most sarcastic doctor in all of Paris. Before being called into see the Madam, Edgar was rudely pushed out of the way by two male nurses who bringing a bed up to the theatre as a man had been tangled in a series of blue wires some would call it unnatural. That's when Buck still in his uniform emerged from the restroom. Edgar hid himself from Buck who seemed to be doing okay, until he suddenly had to run back into the gents again as he cried, "oh," and when he did that he sounded like a real Winnie The Pooh. Please don't say poo! Edgar was brought to see Madam Bonafamile, and before heading into her room he had a chat in the hallway with Doctor Ufland as he asked if she would be okay and Doctor Ufland responded in an incredibly sarcastic tone of voice, "only time well tell." Madam Bonafamile had woken up now, and she was sitting in her bed eating from a bowl of porridge as all old people like porridge, and that's just a fact. Edgar sat down on a chair in the room across from the bed as he asked, "so how you been keeping?" "Fine, but I'm not going to be of much use for awhile." Madam Bonafamile remarked as she pointed towards her head which had a massive bandage wrapped around it. "Well and this is just a suggestion." Edgar said before continuing with, "maybe I could help you out. I'm gonna need a job. Todd Packer's going to prison, and so Packing Heat is closing it's doors in order to avoid accused connection to a known propane stealer, and so I need all the work that I can get." "I get what you're saying, and since you're such a nice young man I'll let you stay in a spare room in my house." Madam Bonafamile said as she saw something in Edgar, a talent hidden behind those tired worn out eyes which had been made so tired by years of working as a disgruntled propane salesman for a company that really didn't give two figs about him. Not two figs! Edgar became the Madam's butler, and when they got back to her Mansion in Upper Paris he helped nurse her back to health by giving her plates of premium crème dela Edgar. Also while leaving the hospital, Edgar was laughing like a mad man as he wheeled Madam Bonafamile across the street when they were both approached by Detective Garrity who was heading to the hospital in order to have his nose hair pulled out as he was about to go on a date, and he didn't want his date to pull on the hair like a bell and expect the butler to come in. Garrity gave Edgar a hug as Edgar asked dumfounded, "Detective Garrity?" "Yes that is me, look I don't do this often but..." Detective Garrity almost teared up as then he said, "I'm sorry I was wrong about you, you showed your true colours tonight Edgar." "Shall we then?" Madam Bonafamile asked as she stood next to the horse and carriage which would be used to transport to her home, Edgar smiled broadly as he said, "it would be my pleasure." Edgar had been looking for a job ever since Todd Packer's arrest three days prior, and he had tried getting a job at the box factory but the boss one Foghorn Leghorn by name had a real thing for the soon to be butler and wanted Edgar to elope with him to Miami. "This is a box shop right?" Edgar asked confused as Foghorn Leghorn looked at the camera and remarked, "this boy's dumber than a horseshoe rasp!"

Upon arriving at the Mansion, Edgar was confronted before heading up the steps by resident mouse the not so great mouse detective Winnie The Mouse otherwise known as Roquefort a character from the original film who was very annoying as he couldn't remember the name of Thomas O'Malley during his interrogation by the Alley Cats. That scene was very drawn out, and it made my friend very angry as he felt while Aristocats was a decent picture the humour should have been more cynical and with a bit of a Lord Omar touch possibly a plug for Ikea. Roquefort in contrast to his appearance 20 years later looked very wrong. His eyes were bulging like Luca Brasi, and he had a swollen mouth. He also spoke in a harsher crueller tone of voice as he barked, "you got my darn squirty cheese boy?" Yes before entering the mansion, all guests were required to provide Roquefort with a bribe. Edgar handed the bottle of squirty cheese over to Roquefort as he made his way inside the mansion, and while being shown around the dining area by Madam Bonafamile Edgar couldn't help but ponder about putting a mousetrap in front of ole Roquefort's hole, but he knew that this would be a poor choice as Roquefort had a lot of friends in politics. Mrs Bush, money isn't everything there are many things that money cannot buy. Sorry about that, dear reader you just remind me of Mrs Bush a woman who used to sit on the train on the chair across with me and she yapped on and on about how Bertie Bassett was concerned in cleaning up the State with the use of a buffer. Edgar sat at the bottom of the steps of his new found home, and he realised that he finally had a place to call home. Edgar did everything for Madam Bonafamile, he took her to town every week, cooked her meals, ironed her clothes, and purchased her groceries when she got lazy. Edgar originally did these things out from the goodness of his heart, but as the years rolled past he slowly only did them so he could claim the inheritance, and he finally turns to the dark side when he learns that Madam Bonafamile intends not to leave him a single euro, but instead intends to give all of her money to the cats enraging Edgar who then tries to dump the cats in the countryside in order to get the money for himself.

The last scene of the film took place 15 years later, with Edgar now firmly settled into his role as butler for Madam Bonafamile he on the Madam's orders headed to a local pet shop in Boss Town in order to buy a cat. Edgar saw many cats that looked quite cute, but then he eyed upon a pure white cat named Duchess according to the name tag next to her cage. Edgar decided that she would be the perfect cat, and he bought her and upon lifting Duchess into his arms for the very first time Edgar remarked, "I see great things in our future Duchess, great things." Edgar took Duchess out the pet shop with him, but upon getting out from the shop he made too much noise which ended up setting off the duck alarm, or the goose alarm as a bunch of geese started talking and it sounded like a car alarm go off. The geese proceeded to chase Edgar and Duchess down the road, and he ran all the way towards the sunset where a very pleased Madam Bonafamile would be waiting to see her brand new cat. Then came the infamous mid credits scene in which Michael Bird is squashed by two Chips Ahoy cookies while watching a baseball game. "Smacked down in a middle." The cookies sang as a horrifying looking Stan Smith bootleg turned to face the camera as he too sang, "squeezed in the middle!" He sounded proper dumb that Stan Smith bootleg did, I tell you what. The evilness of the Chips Ahoy Brothers was a very much intentional choice on director John Eckhart's part as he intended to give the brothers their own film some day, and he also hoped that if Edgar was enough of a financial success he would finally be able to make his film all about the Horned King, which he had been planning to do ever since he could write.

Edgar was filmed, and the final cut was presented to Disney who loved every single minute of the picture, but to Eckhart's dismay they decided to sit on it for awhile. They would keep the film locked inside the Disney Vault until such times when it could be showed as they wanted to only show it when it was okay to mock butlers. Butlers were currently popular again, with Disney's recently hired matrie d being the employee of the month seven months running, and they would have to wait until butlers were once again the punching bag in media again, and then and only then could Edgar ever see the light of day. Disney, you suck. Now if you excuse me, I need to go and make out with a drone who isn't traumatised like you might think he was, as it was planned and part of the games we play. Well, bye then. Gosh darn it why is there never any fucking toilet paper in here!