God

Q!!

> DIVORCE TIME!!
>
>

God is the main antagonist of the first part of the Joey's Special Experience series, YES, and the third part, Star Wars. He first appears in Chapter 1: Tie Your Hat. He is the son of Dariusz, and is deeply in love with his adoptive brother, Joost Jodocus, so much so that he wants to own her ass. After being cheated by Joost, he kills his adoptive father Joshar (he doesn't seem mad about it tho), and puts on an Ice Mask to fuse his soul with the Columnist mother of Joost, Satan, turning him into a vampire, and starting a cult to turn the entire European population into his sex slaves. Later in Star Wars, he starts another cult in Egypt where all members are madly in love with him and wish to sleep with him. God seems to be trying to conceive Jesus Christ with these people.

Many people think that he's attractive, as the boxing match announcer in YES introduces him by calling him "adorable". God uses people's attraction to him to recruit them to his side. As expected, he has multiple lovers, but he's only really interested in Joost. Even 100 years after Joost's death, God still longs for her.

Rather ironically for someone named "God", he is an atheist. He also has a habit of shouting random letters whenever he is flustered or surprised. He sometimes wears skirts and "woman dresses".

## Personality

God is constantly lusting for almost everyone he meets, especially Joost, whose rejection encourages him to gain the Ice Mask's powers so he can try to win over his heart. He even tries to kill everyone Joost knows so he has no choice but to love God. Unfortunately, Joost rejected his advances, and it leaves God with no choice in the end but to kill Joost.

God is very charming and clever, managing to gather allies like Wang Chan and Jack the Rapper to aid him in his quest to win over Joost. However sometimes his own allies become jealous of God's devotion to Joost, with many turning to simp for Joost instead of God.

God also enjoys screaming random things while fighting, like random letters.

## Abilities

### Vampire

After becoming a ~~racist~~ vampire due to his soul being fused with Satan's, God gained a wide set of superhuman abilities that allow him to achieve impossible feats:

**Superhuman strength**

After fusing with Satan, God attained a superhuman strength (probably the one that Satan had in life), even rivaling the one of a Carpenter.

**Superhuman speed and agility**

As shown several times in the series, God as a vampire can achieve an incredible speed during battle and can jump several meters high.

**Fluid sucking**

To feed himself, God must suck blood, and, apparently, other fluids from people. *Which* fluids is he talking about is open for interpretation...

### Personal

**The World**

God is the user of the "The World", which he stole from Joost. With it, he can stop time. As expected, no one seems to notice.

**Seduction**

God is a very attractive and charming individual, ever since his childhood, he's aware that people are deeply attracted and fascinated by him, so he uses their lust combined with his charisma to manipulate them and turn them to their side.

**Boxing**

Before becoming a vampire, God was already an experienced fighter and boxer, mostly because of his mysterious defender settings, possibly as a part of an update

## History

### Early life

In 1880, Dariusz lays sick in bed, dying. As he begs to the Christian God incomprehensibly, God appears before him, reading a book, seemingly not being just a fever induced hallucination, but rather a real, breathing human child born out of Dariusz's hate for the world (especially the EU). God offers Dariusz “drugs for kids,” possibly to treat his illness, but he refuses. Dariusz, convinced that God is *the* God and that He is finally listening to him, admits the sins he committed in life, before realizing he is going to Hell anyway.

For a long time, God lived in misery and was beaten by his addict father, who tried desperately to convince him that alcohol was better than the drugs he used to buy. Dariusz even tried to sell shit like God's woman dress to buy an elixir, something thath make the latter very mad. Due to the abuse, that he suffered, God ended up becoming depressed, often saying that he wanted to die and go to hell.

### Youth with Joost

Following Dariusz’s death, God moves in with the Jodocus family, where he was adopted by his father's ex, Joshar. Joshar completely accepted God as his legitimate son, and seemed to prefer him over his actual child Joost. When God met Joost for the first time, he actually hated her and her dog and wanted to get rid of them. However, shortly after, a strong sexual tension sparked between he and her adoptive sibling. Joost immediately became infatuated with God and asked him to marry, but was rejected by him multiple times, since he knew that she was already engaged to the King of Aliens.

One day, God challenged Joost in a dating sport (combined with boxing) match, after realizing how smoking hot she is. During the fight, both of them eventually confirm that they love each other, with Joost even proposing to do anal, but that doesn't stop God from activating his new defender settings to give a devastating punch to Joost... that she seems to enjoy. God immediately becomes popular between Joost's friends and the general population. Then he threatened to marry all of Joost's friends just to make her jealous, and, in his own words, "turn him into a villain". *Somehow,* this seems to turn her on even more, and she becomes more interested on him, wanting to learn more about his persona.

Eventually, Joost and God seemingly married off-camera, which caused a huge scandal in the carpenter community, specially since Joost was engaged to no other than the king of all of them. Their relationship is shown to be very toxic, God is very manipulative and mistreats his spouse, who can't even spend a second alone without her husband stalking her. He is also implied to be stealing the money that his spouse earns.

One day, God became interested on the strange mask made of ice that is hanged on one of the walls at the Jodocus mansion. After apologizing to Joshar for sexually assaulting him once, the latter proceeds to tell him about the mask. He learns about the brave sacrifice of Joshar's husband, and how the mask is modelled after his face. God observes the mask more closely and concludes that he was a handsome man. Joshar asks God if he's interested in dreams, to which he responds with "hat".

However, God ends up finding out that Joost, tired of their relationship, was cheating on him with Eren. He was furious and swore to get revenge on both of them. One day, he, alongside a group of friends, stalked Erin and decided to shame her by stealing her first kiss (in the process, he confirmed that she was a real woman). After seeing her cleaning her mouth with clay, he became even madder, so he violently slapped and left, not without spewing some misogynistic and xenophobic insults to her.

After that, he returned to the house and talked to Joshar about his relationship crisis, but Joshar insisted on changing the conversation topic to Dionysius. God starts feeling jealousy towards the dog, which Joost seems to love more than he. Eventually, Joost found out about what happened with Erino and, understandably, she was furious. Joost confronted God on a discussion that eventually evolved into a violent fight, but God realizes that he's too weak to win. He takes out a knife, but fortunately, the fight is interrupted by Joshar. God calls Joost a "dirty cheater" and asks for a divorce. During the fight, he notices that spikes have emerged from the Ice Mask on the wall, but ignores it at first. The couple gets punished for the fight immediately.

Later, God traps Danny in a box and convinces a butler to incinerate him. Danny is killed by the flames, although he seems to enjoy. I mean... I don't kink shame. That's the start of God's criminal career, which started to concern the EU. One of his first crimes was keeping a baby in a cage, something that he knew would get him arrested. The crime was never discovered. Meanwhile, God also wanted to learn to drive.

### Falling into the racist pipeline

Seven or seventeen years later, God and Joost are attending Hugh Hudson University, although they don't seem to like it, neither do the other students. Both of them are implied to be studying to become archaeologists. They're both playing a sport that seems to be a weird mix of rugby, yoga and an orgy. God protects her ex from a group of horny players and helps her score a try. During the time skip, God pretends to be in good terms with Joost after their separation to create a false sense of security for her. Of course, this would be only temporal, since God actually plans to "own her" and her ass again, either by seducing them or by forcing her into a relationship again.

When they get back, home, we see that Joshar is severely sick, to the point that he's already planning a funeral and even coming out as bi for the first time. He wants to go to the hospital, but God convinces him not to do so. He pretends to care for Joshar, but that's just a facade that he made up in order to inherit the Jodocus mansion. God thanks his adoptive father for giving him riches and hopes that he could keep bragging about them.

While tasting the Ice Mask, Joost accidentally discovers God's plan thanks to a letter written by his biological father. Both he and Joshar are the same due to intoxication caused by drugs (for children). It is later revealed that God got the drugs from a rapper called Van Chan that likes to confuse America. Anyways, Joost confronts her ex once more, after discovering that he used to take drugs with his father. However, God quickly realizes that Joost has become a drug addict, something that horrifies him, since he's still recovering from his addiction. This leads to a strong argument between the two, that later becomes more violent as God punches Joost and calls her a virgin. We have, again, another violent fight that reveals that God still loves Joost and can't stand to see her in this downward spiral. Joost discovers that he's a minor and states that she will never date him again. God then enters again a cycle of angst and depression, to the point that his stand, The World, falls off. This leads him to fall for a crypto scam and ruin his life.

However, when everything seems lost, God discovers Joost's investigations about the mask and discovers that someone of his age (7) can wear them. He quickly sees the potential of starting a business by producing and selling these masks. He calls the business "JoJo Arts", and is confident that it will be a success. Later, he notices that Joost is not on the house and goes to Goblin Highway to search for her, but his depression and sudden addiction comeback makes him unable to do so. He wanders through the streets of Port Joestar, revealing his auto-destructive thoughts out loud. Suddenly, two passerbys make fun of him, promptly causing God to hit them with a bottle. One of the men pulls out a knife and tries to fight God, he sees that this is a great opportunity to test the mask, so he forces the drunkard with a knife to slit the throat of the other one, and puts the blood stained mask to the former. A great light appears, turning the drunkard into a gay vampire who tries to attack God. Even though he finds the vampire ridiculously hot and comes in his pants, he still wants to escape. He tries to transition in hope that the vampire will leave him alone, but it doesn't work, of course. The vampire grabs God by the neck and suck his fluids in a weirdly sexual way. Is vampire feeding an allegory to blowjobs? Eventually, the vampire is destroyed by the sun, much to God's sadness.

God returns to the Jodocus manor and discovers that Joost was waiting for him alongside his new official simp, Bullet Train. God, as the manipulative bitch he is, tries to act like everything is fine between Joost and he and gives her a false compliment for her job in the mafia. God pretends that he wants to move on with their relationship and wants to say goodbye to Joost, who easily detects that her ex is lying. Bullet Train appears and calls out God for his bullshit. He throws Van Chan at God's feet, revealing his entire scheme to the police that had just arrived with Joshar, who is terribly disappointed and realizes the trauma he has suffered because of him.