PORN (Definition)

DISCLAIMER: No porn appears here, because that would make me a sinner.

   Porn is very inappropriate.

## Being Porn

* Showing too much skin
* Letting us see your chesticle crack
* Being naked
* Having ses when you're not married
* Not wearing enough clothes
* Porn words
* Porn lyrics
* Doing things with your private parts
* Anything that has to do with private parts
* Fifty Shades of Grey
* **Videos of marrried couples**

PORN IS FOR SINNERS DO NOT BE PORN

## How to prevent porn

* Dress appropriately
* When someone is being porn, use the Anti-porn unicorn. Hit the porn person right in the porn areas
* Change the porn lyrics
* Don't say porn words
* ONLY HAVE SES IF YOUR MARRIED. Don't record it, and make sure that no one is nearby to record it.

## Changing porn lyrics

Below are some examples of how you can change porn lyrics to be appropriate.

Original: "My neck, my back, **lick** my **p\*\*sy** and my crack"

Non-Porn: "My neck, my back, **wipe** my **tookie** and my crack"

Original: "It's getting hot in here, **so take off all your clothes**, I am getting so hot, **I wanna take my clothes off**"

Non-Porn: "It's getting hot in here, **let's drink some lemonade**, I am getting so hot, **I'm gonna drink some water**"

Original: "I like big **butts** and I cannot lie, your **other** brother can't deny, **that when a girl walks in itzy-bitzy waist and a round thing in your face**"

Non-Porn: "I like Big **Bird** and I cannot lie, your **little** brother can't deny, **when Sesame Street is on TV, I watch it, it's good...**"

Original: "I'll make **love to** you, like you want me to, and **I'll hold you tight**, **baby**, all through the night, I'll make **love to** you..."

Non-Porn: "I'll make **corn with** you, like you want me to, and **we'll boil it right**, **steam it** all through the night, I'll make **corn with** you..."

Original: "'Cause I may be **bad**, but I'm perfectly good at it, **sex** in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it, sticks and stones may break my bones, but **whips and chains excite** me"

Non-Porn: "'Cause I may be **good**, but I'm perfectly good at it, **breath** in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it, sticks and stones may break my bones, but **Taco Bell excites** me"

## Appropriate Clothing

Firstly, you need a top to wear, so we don't see your chesticles. So choose a nice shirt, maybe a button up shirt or a T-S

 File:427c67a102cc5b8bf7f05046338bf11a.png  hirt. No V-Necks, or anything that will let us see your arm or chesticles. However, when you wear a button up shirt, button it up to the top. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE A CHESTICLE CRACK. Next you need some pants. Leggings are not pants so do not wear them as pants. On Miranda's website, you can buy some Hatres Back Off pants which are very nice and not porn. And remember, with every clothing you own, make sure that
your clothes are not too tight so we don't see any creases or crevices. You know your pants are too tight if you have a cameltoe. A cameltoe is porn, because it's when your pants go into your tookie, and we can see your tookie.

 File:Miranda-s-Boyfriend-T-Shirts.png
## Leaks

You might see married couples on line having ses. Ses is only made to have babies. It is sinful to do when you are not married. So, ses never happens between people who are not married. However, sometimes there are videos of married couples having ses. It can be a man and a woman, a man and a man, or a lebanese couple. This is not okay. This means that the married couple was having ses and trying to have a baby, and some sinner filmed it and leaked it. Most times, the married couple doesn't know that they're being filmed. DON'T EVER WATCH A HONEYMOON LEAK. You need to tell the married couple that their honeymoon got leaked, so they can take care of it, if you ever find one. I only saw leaks when Master Hydraffe and MikeyRocks33 gave me porn of a married couple of two men. Pray for them.

## Replacing Porn

So, if you watch porn a lot, you're definitely a sinner in need of my prayers. But, I found a really nice thing for all of you. It's called food porn. Food porn isn't even porn at all, so you're not sinning. It's just pictures of beautiful food and it's safe for everyone to enjoy. It's all PG, and it's much better than real porn anyway. So, yes, food porn is the best replacement for porn.

## Examples of Porn

Click the photos to see an example of PORN. But it's not appropriate so don't click it if you're under 21.

Porn because you can see her chestical crack, her entire stomach, her entire leg, her back, a bit of her hip, and her entire arm. SHE ONLY HAS A BIKINI ONPorn because you can see his entire nipple... and how did he get it so there's no hair on it? And the arm, and he's not wearing pants, so if you zoomed out, you could see the leg.. at least he has underwear!Porn because of chesticle crack and leg and other types of things, and porn words in porn lyrics that talk about doing porn things..Porn because she's doing a porn dance, the porn style version of twerking. You can see her entire leg, her entire arm, her chestical crack, and later her stomach and back. She puts her butt up against Robin Thicke's weiner. She doesnt wear any clothes and is fully naked in the end. There are hoes in the background showing off their stomachs.Porn because you can see his wiener! But that one is... okay...
## References

1. ↑ http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/khia/myneckmybackdirtyversion.html
2. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHlTve75MWY&feature=youtu.be&t=2m04s
3. ↑ https://play.google.com/music/preview/T53vsjvkeiequ66hdcwu7jefghu?lyrics=1&utm\_source=google&utm\_medium=search&utm\_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-songlyrics
4. ↑ http://genius.com/Sir-mix-a-lot-baby-got-back-lyrics
5. ↑ https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tttbqwbk4ary3eiiyyxouzrpaxy?lyrics=1&utm\_source=google&utm\_medium=search&utm\_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-songlyrics
6. ↑ https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tixqpmr4vmmivcrbucgzbkpikhe?lyrics=1&utm\_source=google&utm\_medium=search&utm\_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics