Episode 5: World Wide Walmart

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

Imagine a World Wide Walmart where you can buy whatever you want whenever you want. You can buy towels and do improv at the world wide walmart.

## Idea Details

* Idea: World Wide Walmart
* Creator of idea: Drew
* Purpose of idea: This week it's all about... shopping! (Josiah: "OK, I'm listenin'!") Are you? (Josiah: "Yeah.") We have a great show tonight because it's not about some boring old stuff about trains or it's not about -- (Josiah: "Yeah you d-- it's true: the Train episode was one of the more boring ones, the Rainforest one pretty boring and bad, um --") Um World Wide Lottery not good. Not a good idea, not a good episode. Uh stupid idea. Uh same with the other ones that you thought of. (Josiah: "I got a lot of good feedback about that one, actually. They're thinking of implementing it in Sweden.") Really. World Wide Lottery? (Josiah: "Just sort of a test kitchen for it, yeah!") Mkay, so how is it supposed to be a World Wide Lottery if it's just in Sweden? Sounds like a Swedish Lottery. (Josiah: "No, Sweden is gonna be the home base for it. They have different laws there.") So the entire World Wide Lottery is gonna be run out of Sweden. (Josiah: "So what are you going on about now? Huh?") This week's episode is about... shopping! (Josiah: "OK. So it's World Wide Shopping this week, you're saying?") No! Well, it's -- not quite. It's uh -- we're w-- I think what we should be doing, moving away from stores that sell um specialized things, you know, like a hardware store sells hardware store stuff, a music store sells music store stuff, um what we should do is consolidate all businesses under one rooftop, um and I think the one business that is capable of doing this, uh the sort of big box store, um would be uh Walmart! So my uh -- I am proposing -- my idea is World Wide Walmart.
	+ We will move away from stores that sell specialized stuff like how a hardware store sells hardware stuff or a music store sells music store stuff. Instead, all businesses will be consolidated under one rooftop, and the only business that is capable of doing this is Walmart so it will now be World Wide Walmart.
	+ This will be the end of small businesses as we know it.
	+ .16:15

## Notable Events

* Drew performed a few test runs of the intro a few minutes into the episode.
* Josiah and Drew listened to *Shopping* by Pet Shop Boys.
* Josiah and Drew listened to some DMCA-free music.
* World Wide Shopping
* Josiah and Drew listened to shopping mall music.
* Drew revealed that all of the baristas and barristers at small business coffee shops always laugh at him as soon as he walks in. Josiah hypothesized that this is because Drew smells like shit and piss and he looks like shit also.
* Josiah and Drew listened to some large shopping mall ambience.
* .

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* [In response to Drew saying he loves small talk] "That's cause you're a small little man."
* [In response to Drew saying his ideas are rated much higher than Josiah's] "Rated M. Cause you're a nasty creep."
* [In response to Drew saying this is not a kids' program] "Although you would like that, wouldn't you?"
* "Maybe on our Patreon we'll read some of our favorite leftist tweets. Could be a good bonus episode for our one patron, which is Nate Ruess of the band fun."
* [In response to Drew asking if anybody listens to the podcast while they fall asleep] "Do you think anybody listens to the podcast?"
* [In response to Drew saying they're losing Twitter followers every day] "I keep copying and pasting the most viral political tweets of the day and it's not working! Crime does not pay, folks."
* "Did you say 'toppy'?? 'Toppy'?? You said 'toppy'!! I know you are always thinking about getting head, getting top, giving head to that little 50 year-old man that you love from uh *Star Wars*."
* "Yeah you d- it's true: the Train episode was one of the more boring ones, the Rainforest one pretty boring and bad, um --"
* "I just wanna say this is uh this is 100% Drew's liability, he set up the Libsyn, everything that he did is um for his responsibility. I'm just -- in terms of the, you know, in terms of the quality of the show and uh and the ideas and sort of the intellectual stimulation, I will admit that um it is my idea and my show. But I will also say that Drew is the one who's liable. So in terms of, for legal purposes, I am not a host of the show. Even though everyone kind of knows that I am."
* "So you're saying when you walk into Shtarbucks, everyone is laughing at you? And are you sure it's not because you smell like shit and piss? And you look like shit, also?"
* "Use your fuckin' brain."
* "

### Drew

* [In response to Josiah asking what he actually does on the show] "I have my good ideas. By the way, most of my ideas are rated much higher than yours. World Wide Train."
	+ Note: Drew is referencing the oft-debated originator of the idea for World Wide Train (noun). It is currently unknown if he actually thought of the idea or if he is simply taking credit for Josiah's idea.
* "Folks, welcome to Global Podcast. We're so excited to have you on this episode of the uh podcast Global P- Global - Globe Hell Warning."
* "Do you think anybody listens to the podcast while they go - they fall asleep?"
* "I know we have uh 1,800 followers on Twitter, but I don't th- well we're actually - we're losing followers every day, actually."
* "He's not a man, he's a child. And I don't wanna give him any uh top."
* "I'm not thinking about Baby Yoda's pecker, all right? We don't even know if he has one. Could just be a smooth area down there. We don't know how Yoda procreates! Yoda might just fire his uh his sperm straight out his balls."
* "We have a great show tonight because it's not about some boring old stuff about trains or it's not about --"
* "Um World Wide Lottery not good. Not a good idea, not a good episode. Uh stupid idea. Uh same with the other ones that you thought of."
* "This week's episode is about... shopping!"
* [On the topic of small businesses] "And that's one of the reasons why I won't shop at any of these places um if they don't have, like, a corporate sponsor, they don't have a corporate culture, uh I'm not interested."
* "Yeah, I'm not sure if we wanna be recording this episode, to be honest."
* "

## Trivia

* There were babies outside Drew's apartment during the recording of this episode. Josiah revealed they were chained up but Drew denied this.
* .