Coolmax's romantic dangerous wiki plot

INT. WIKI CHAT - AFTERNOON

Noobish Spammer WIKILORD PELLOW MCRELEVANCY is arguing with administrative Mapper BRICKLORD XO MAPPING. PELLOW tries to hug XO but he shakes him off.

PELLOW
Please XO, don't leave me.
XO
I'm sorry Pellow, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
PELLOW
I am such a person!
XO frowns.

XO
I'm sorry, Pellow. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
XO leaves.

PELLOW sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, dumb Owner MISTER ANTONIO SURNAME barges in looking flustered.

PELLOW
Goodness, Antonio! Is everything okay?
ANTONIO
I'm afraid not.
PELLOW
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
ANTONIO
It's ... a circle tool image ... I saw an evil circle tool image annoy a bunch of admins!
PELLOW
Defenseless admins?
ANTONIO
Yes, defenseless admins!
PELLOW
Bloomin' heck, Antonio! We've got to do something.
ANTONIO
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
PELLOW
You can start by telling me where this happened.
ANTONIO
I was...
ANTONIO fans himself and begins to wheeze.

PELLOW
Focus Antonio, focus! Where did it happen?
ANTONIO
Reagantopia! That's right - Reagantopia!
PELLOW springs up and begins to run.

EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

PELLOW rushes along the street, followed by ANTONIO. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

EXT. REAGANTOPIA - SHORTLY AFTER

MOSH ABSOLUTE a powerful circle tool image terrorises two admins.

PELLOW, closely followed by ANTONIO, rushes towards MOSH, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

ANTONIO
What is is? What's the matter?
PELLOW
That's not just any old circle tool image, that's Mosh Absolute!
ANTONIO
Who's Mosh Absolute?
PELLOW
Who's Mosh Absolute? Who's Mosh Absolute? Only the most powerful circle tool image in the universe!
ANTONIO
Blinkin' knickers, Pellow! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most powerful circle tool image in the universe!
PELLOW
You can say that again.
ANTONIO
Blinkin' knickers, Pellow! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most powerful circle tool image in the universe!
PELLOW
I'm going to need delete buttons, lots of delete buttons.
Mosh turns and sees Pellow and Antonio. He grins an evil grin.

MOSH
Pellow McRelevancy, we meet again.
ANTONIO
You've met?
PELLOW
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young PELLOW is sitting in a park listening to some vaporwave music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees MOSH. He takes off his headphones.

MOSH
Would you like some GMOs?
PELLOW's eyes light up, but then he studies MOSH more closely, and looks uneasy.

PELLOW
I don't know, you look kind of powerful.
MOSH
Me? No. I'm not powerful. I'm the least powerful circle tool image in the world.
PELLOW
Wait, you're a circle tool image?
PELLOW runs away, screaming.

EXT. REAGANTOPIA - PRESENT DAY

MOSH
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
ANTONIO
(To PELLOW) You ran away?
PELLOW
(To ANTONIO) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
PELLOW turns to MOSH.

PELLOW
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
PELLOW runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

PELLOW
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with delete buttons.
MOSH
I'm not scared of you.
PELLOW
You should be.

EXT. NOOB FOREST - LATER THAT DAY

PELLOW and ANTONIO walk around searching for something.

PELLOW
I feel sure I left my delete buttons somewhere around here.
ANTONIO
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly delete buttons.
PELLOW
You know nothing Antonio Surname.
ANTONIO
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, MOSH appears, holding a pair of delete buttons.

MOSH
Looking for something?
ANTONIO
Crikey, Pellow, he's got your delete buttons.
PELLOW
Tell me something I don't already know!
ANTONIO
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
PELLOW
I know that already!
ANTONIO
I made Blocked IP as an alt.
MOSH
(appalled) Dude!
While MOSH is looking at ANTONIO with disgust, PELLOW lunges forward and grabs his deadly delete buttons. He wields them, triumphantly.

PELLOW
Prepare to die, you powerful squirrel-potato!
MOSH
No please! All I did was annoy a bunch of admins!
XO enters, unseen by any of the others.

PELLOW
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those admins were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Pellow McRelevancy defender of innocent admins.
MOSH
Don't hurt me! Please!
PELLOW
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these delete buttons on you right away!
MOSH
Because Pellow, I am your father.
PELLOW looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

PELLOW
No you're not!
MOSH
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
MOSH tries to grab the delete buttons but PELLOW dodges out of the way.

PELLOW
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, MOSH slumps to the ground.

ANTONIO
Did he just faint?
PELLOW
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly delete buttons.
PELLOW crouches over MOSH's body.

ANTONIO
Be careful, Pellow. It could be a trick.
PELLOW
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Mosh Absolute is dead!
PELLOW
What?
PELLOW
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
ANTONIO claps his hands.

ANTONIO
So your delete buttons did save the day, after all.
XO steps forward.

XO
Is it true? Did you kill the powerful circle tool image?
PELLOW
XO how long have you been...?
XO puts his arm around PELLOW.

XO
Long enough.
PELLOW
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Mosh Absolute.
XO
Then the admins are safe?
PELLOW
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable admins enter, looking relived.

XO
You are their hero.
The admins bow to PELLOW.

PELLOW
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Mosh Absolute will never annoy admins ever again, is enough for me.
XO
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the admins passes PELLOW a memelicious Croat's doggos

XO
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
PELLOW
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.

PELLOW
Well, if you insist.
PELLOW takes the Croat's doggos.

PELLOW
Thank you.
The admins bow their heads once more, and leave.

PELLOW turns to XO.

PELLOW
Does this mean you want me back?
XO
Oh, Pellow, of course I want you back!
PELLOW smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

PELLOW
Well you can't have me.
XO
WHAT?
PELLOW
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a circle tool image to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
XO
But...
PELLOW
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Antonio.
ANTONIO grins.

XO
But...
ANTONIO
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
XO
Pellow?
PELLOW
I'm sorry XO, but I think you should skidaddle.
XO leaves.

ANTONIO turns to PELLOW.

ANTONIO
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
PELLOW
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly ANTONIO stops.

ANTONIO
When I said I made Blocked IP as an alt, you know I was just trying to distract the circle tool image don't you?
THE END