Natasha's Notebook (Audio File Set)

*Our community needs more information on this page! Can you help out? Click here to add more.***Natasha's Notebook** is a collectible Intelligence series. It consists of six files.

## Files

### Alone Again N. Romanoff

None of the others have admitted it's over, but I can smell the rot in the air. Tony won't speak to Bruce after DC. Thor's gone, longer than usual. And Clint. Who knows?

It was a good run. If Steve was still here, I could I-Told-You-So him into the dust, but no one likes to be told they were wrong. So I'll jump, like always. Before someone pushes. I said my goodbyes, even if no one knew that's what they were.

I can go anywhere. I can go back, to before. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't attractive. I don't get to do that. There's no undoing what we did, and what we've become. It's a part of us all now. And out there, all that damage doesn't go away just because we do. The Avengers died on A-Day. But I didn't All I have to do now is find a way to live with it.

We're all going to have to do it alone.

### Field Work N. Romanoff

You blunt your sharp edges on a team or else you cut each other. There's a strength in it, but it's a sacrifice. I made it, knowingly, again and again, because together we were accomplishing something. Or we thought we were.

I was always better alone. Slipping back into the old skills feels like coming home. I can be as sharp as I need, and cut when I want.

AIM was concerned that an agent might infiltrate their organization, but they were concerned about espionage. I simply forged references and applied for a job. I've since pointed out this security flaw and new employees are rigorously cross-checked. Too late to keep me out, but at least I got the credit. As long as George or Monica don't recognize me, I am embedded.

It will be a long time before any of this bears fruit. But I am right where I need to be. No one to confirm orders. No one else to watch out for. I miss those guys. But I can do more good on my own.

### Surveillance N. Romanoff

AIM has grown increasingly paranoid through its expansion, much of which I have deliberately stoked to control its direction. When they post mortem my infiltration, they'll learn a great deal, but for the time being it's all simple sleight of hand and misdirection. Children's birthday party stuff.

They have files on me. They knew more about the old days than Fury did. Scared me how good their research was. Some of those days I had forgotten, deliberately.

AIM lost Bruce, around the same time everyone else did. Tony's completely in the wind, though I have an idea where he might be holed up. They have some sightings of Thor, but I've corrupted the data-points enough that they won't be able to track him.

I can't interfere with these reports too closely, or a pattern will emerge. A gentle push here and there, but it's an almost unacceptable risk. I keep telling myself this will be the last time. But here I am, dragged right down again.

I was so much better at this when I didn't care.

### Day of Execution N. Romanoff

It was my fault. AIM has an algorithm sniffing for coincidences, and it picked up my traffic on the Avengers files. Of course, I never used my terminal or logins.

I didn't know his name. But it turns out, he was a fan. He'd been visiting hero fan-sites on his lunch breaks. That was the last mark against him.

If I'd tried to intervene, we'd both be dead. The worst part wasn't that it was hard for me. It's that it was easy. It was so easy.

This is who I used to be. Before the Avengers. I know exactly what Steve would say. He'd ask me if that man's life was worth my silence. I don't have an answer for that yet, and that's as good as a No.

I'm a sharper blade on my own. But I'm not better. That was a lie. I'm better when Steve was there to hold me accountable, and I don't know if I can do that on my own.

I found the kid's name and next of kin, and added them to the Foundation's planned disbursement. He's a victim of A-Day, and me, as much as anyone else.

### The Cost N. Romanoff

Someone else is going to have to die for me before this is over. At least one. I can try to justify it, but when I strike, and the depth of my activities becomes known, Monica and Tarleton will require blood. Maybe it's going to come from one of the ghouls in Monica's orbit. It might be someone who deserves it.

But I have no way of knowing. I'm in the dark.

Of course it's worth it. That's beside the point. What matters, what the blood lesson is for me, is that we only get here, weighing ends against means, when we have no one else to rely on.

Before, this never would have bothered me. Wouldn't have even registered.

When I told Steve what I sued to do, I didn't know how he'd take it. Smug jerk just smiled and said "Well, you can never go home again."

### Time to Go N. Romanoff

Time's up. Just like with the Avengers, death is in the air now. I've crossed lines that will lead back to me. Just a matter of time. If it wasn't for Kamala, I could have stayed a little longer, but I can't begrudge the kid. She did good.

Everything's been ready for months. Just needed to wait for the right moment. Jump before the push.

This is the worst part. No more work to do, no time to act.

I don't know what comes next. But it feels like gravity. We can't go home again, Steve was right. But we can make new homes.

We all had to find a way to make our peace with what happened. There was no way I could have held their hands through it. If I did, it would have been meaningless. We can't be Avengers again. But maybe we can be something new.