Fruit Loops and Feelings

**Recording**

( https://youtu.be/mMiZCksFfqs )

**Transcript**

Takes place very early in the morning of August 23rd, 2020, after the events of S5E2: Gig Work.

***Kasey:** Okay, yes, good, Craig is here.*

***Crewe:** Yay, he's here.*

***Kasey:** Okay! So yeah, so we were saying this is like, um, the... night after--*

***Crewe:** The night of, yeah.*

***Kasey:** Yeah.*

***Crewe:** So it's probably late. Like, fuckin', early hours of the morning, maybe, even. 'Cause that whole thing went down at like 7 pm.*

***Kasey:** Yeah, they probably finished-- they probably got home-- because they had to take Jenny back to the base, so they probably didn't get home until like, ten or eleven.*

***Crewe:** Yeah, until really late. And then he, like, Bolt like locked himself in his room. Well, first he got Boon to heal all his stab wounds. And then he probably just locked himself in his room for a little bit. Um. Yelled at his bird. Uhh… y'know, productively. And then, like, in the middle of the night, just ends up in the kitchen eating cereal.*

***Kasey:** Uh… I think, um. I think Ernest actually comes out from the, um, like the secret basement?*

***Crewe:** Yeah.*

***Kasey:** Where the-- the-- y'know, DDR, and the forge, and the hangout zone are.*

***Crewe:** Yeah. The secret teen lair.*

***Kasey:** Yeah. The no parents allowed zone.*

***Crewe:** Yeah. That's like a… whole production to open, right? Like a, fuckin'... doesn't the like, table open up in the middle of the room?*

***Kasey:** Yeah!*

*[Laughter]*

***Kasey:** I imagine it's probably easier to open from the other side, but it-- but it might like-- like the table opens up from underneath Bolt.*

***Crewe:** Poor Mel is just sitting there with his cereal, and suddenly the table just starts moving and he has to like jump up and grab it, like back away.*

***Kasey:** Yeah, I think Ernest will be just a little bit blurry. He probably just like, woke up from falling asleep downstairs.*

**Ernest:** Oh… Bolt. What is-- what-- what time is it?

**Mel:** Um… who knows. What's time, really?

**Ernest:** Oh, don't even start on that.

**Mel:** Right. *[stammers]* Forgot you… just hate time. It-- late. It's pretty late. Wh-- what were you-- what were you doing downstairs? You scared the shit outta me, dude.

**Ernest:** I was, uh… just trying to see if I could hook Cloudy up to… it's… uh, whatever. Um… how are your… how'd… Boon get to your stuff already? How are you doing?

**Mel:** Yeah, I'm, uh… un-stabbed. Pretty… pretty thoroughly. Uh. So that's a. That's a solid plus. Love to be not stabbed anymore.

**Ernest:** Yeah it probably would've been nice to be not stabbed in the first place? Like, I got--

**Mel:** Yeah I sort of generally prefer to not be stabbed, but like, when that's not an option, um I'll go with un-stabbed.

**Ernest:** Yeah. I got-- I got stabbed once, in like, the Dataverse, uh…

**Mel:** Yeah!

**Ernest:** So it didn't like, *actually* hurt me? But it was still fairly traumatizing, so yeah, even if-- even if you're un-stabbed, now… Yeah.

**Mel:** Yeah, it wasn't a… wasn't a *great* time. I'm um-- honestly, the experience of being kidnapped by somebody with a whole bunch of knives… not one that I would recommend to most people. I'll be honest. It was a-- not-- not in the top ten… fun things to do.

***Kasey:** I think Ernest will just nod and kind of like sit next to Bolt and sort of… you know, run his hands over his face, uh, waking up a little bit more.*

***Crewe:** Mel like, offers him some cereal.*

*[Laughter]*

***Kasey:** I think Ernest will just like, absentmindedly, like eat some. Just like grab a-- grab a spoon from the counter or something.*

**Mel:** Are… are you all-- all good?

**Ernest:** Yeah, I… y'know, wish that I… said something to Artie before he left, but. You know, I'm sure he'll… be around.

**Mel:** Oh I'm sure that he will tell you all about how mad he is. Um. [He's not shy about that.]

**Ernest:** *[overlapping]* Thanks for getting Lillith off his case, though.

**Mel:** Oh! Yeah, I mean, listen, I don't want the guy to get beat up, that's… that's... I kinda still feel bad about how beat up he got last time. *[awkward laugh]* Whoops. I-- I'm sure he'll forgive you. Us.

***Kasey:** Ernest just kinda like makes a face like [unsure noise].*

*[Laughter]*

***Crewe:** 'We'll see!'*

**Ernest:** Uh… sorry about uh… just, uh… like…

**Mel:** The everything?

**Ernest:** The everything? The like… busting in on your parents… I don't know how much you remember of that, but uh… I wouldn't-- wouldn't-- wouldn't have gone there if I knew that's, uh... who was-- who was waiting for you. Um.

**Mel:** Yeah, don't… don't beat yourself up about it. Uh. It's... I mean I don't remember most of what was happening after the… y'know--

***Crewe:** He like, makes a fuckin'... stabbing gesture with his spoon.*

*[Laughter]*

***Kasey:** There's the little like \*shnk\* sound effect even though it’s just a spoon.*

***Crewe:** Yeah, just, it glistens a little bit.*

**Mel:** Um, but, honestly, dude, I'm… really glad that you were there when I ran into them again. Like… I don't know, uh, *what* would've happened if I had been there alone, or god forbid with the knife bitch, but, um…

**Ernest:** Um, you probably would've been… can your own parents kidnap you? Is that…

**Mel:** Um, y'know? I feel like… it sure *felt* like I was kidnapped.

**Ernest:** That's… yeah, that's fair.

**Mel:** I feel like that's the important thing, really, is if it *feels* like a kid-- like, if in your heart, it feels like a kidnapping, it's probably a kidnapping.

**Ernest:** Have you, uh… gotten back to Cassi about everything yet?

**Mel:** [sighs] Not… not yet. I'm… I mean… I'm gonna meet… I'm gonna-- I'm gonna talk to her. Tomorrow. Um, I'll meet with her, and… I mean, there's no *point* in *not* telling her everything, right? Like, she... clearly doesn't have to lie to my parents anymore, 'cause they know that I'm on Big Team, and I don't know really how, or even how long they've known that-- which kinda, uh, sucks, but… She-- she doesn't have to keep that secret anymore, and I don't want her to be the *only* person in the family that doesn't know I'm a robot. That's-- hey, listen. I know firsthand how much it sucks not knowing that I'm a robot.

*[Laughter]*

***Kasey:** Yeah, Ernest'll-- Ernest I think will laugh a little bit at that. Um… and then yeah I think turn and just be like--*

**Ernest:** Yeah, it's… probably best to tell her as soon as possible. Do you think… is she gonna want another place to stay, too?

**Mel:** Oh, god, I hadn't even considered that. Um… I-- I mean, maybe? I-- if-- if she *does*, then… I-- I'm sure, um… we, y'know, we'll-- we can-- we can figure that out, um… But, I dunno, I mean, I… I… I dunno. And I don't wanna-- I don't wanna make her *more* suspicious of Mom and Dad than she might naturally be?

**Ernest:** I mean… they seem like they're up to quite a bit of suspicious stuff.

**Mel:** I mean, yeah, they said… they said a lot of stuff. And… y'know, I've been thinking about it. A lot. Pretty much, um, nothing else since that whole thing, y'know, um. I… I think they might be lying to me.

**Ernest:** Like… I mean, obviously they were lying to you for a long time, do you mean like-- [More, extra?]

**Mel:** *[overlapping]* Yes, no, I mean like besides that-- I mean, like, tonight. I… I think they might've been lying.

***Kasey:** I think Ernest will just kind of like, uh… um, like prop his head up on a hand and sort of, like, thinking back over.*

*[at the same time]*

**Mel:** Just like--

**Ernest:** I don't know.

**Mel:** I mean, like-- just, okay. Maybe it's, like, paranoia, or whatever, but… [sighs] There's-- I mean, okay, there's a lot. But, for one… what ab-- like, what about Smokescreen? Like, I-- I *know* they were working with Smokescreen. Three people said that they had been working with Smokescreen. Independently of each other! And they… what-- what-- what would Smokescreen-- why would Smokescreen care about my dad? [And, also-- ]

**Ernest:** *[overlapping]* Smokescreen's the… mafia… AI… one.

**Mel:** Supervillain. Yeah. Mmhmm.

**Ernest:** May-- maybe--

**Mel:** I met him once, actually.

**Ernest:** Maybe he's big into... robot people?

**Kasey:** And just kind of like gestures up and down to Bolt.

**Mel:** I-- I mean-- I mean, *yeah*, apparently he's really like… it's just… it seems *weird* and… Okay, so-- if the whole point is to just figure out how to… put my dad in a robot body so he doesn't die--

**Ernest:** Speaking of which, if your dad, like… doesn't want to die, uh, maybe recommend *not* walking through lightning walls? 'Cause I was totally not prepared for *that* to be a thing he tried to do.

**Mel:** Yeah that was fuckin-- that was fuckin' crazy, right? That was *wild*! That he just… has a glove? That gives him like a… metal shell? Like, holy shit! How long has he *had* that? But-- okay, so, like, right. So, what I was saying, is-- if the whole point is like-- if I am some sort of medical science experiment, why do I have wings made out of knives?

**Ernest:** That… is a… very good question.

**Mel:** Like, sure. Knife wings. They're rad as hell. Like, who wouldn't want to give a robot knife wings. But it *really* seems sort of against the point, and, also, if they didn't wanna, like-- if they didn't want to *tell* me that I was a robot, and they just wanted to… I dunno, just see how I worked, or whatever, why would they put all this… weird extra stuff in me?

**Ernest:** Then maybe like… you just made it. Like...

**Mel:** … What?

**Ernest:** Those are your wings from the Dataverse, right?

**Mel:** I mean they're pretty close, I guess, yeah.

**Ernest:** What if it's just like… it's like… y… you? You-- Look. I know your-- I know your aesthetic, even if I don't agree with it. You gotta admit: knife wings. That's pretty you.

**Mel:** Hey, listen, again, I didn't make Wingnut. That wasn't-- that one wasn't me. That's not on me. But also, I mean, what if th-- what if it's the other way around? Like, what if the Dataverse knew something I didn't?

**Ernest:** Yeah, I guess it would… maybe be able to get a read on your data. Like, it turned OG…

**Mel:** Yeah, it turned OG into a-- into a boy! Just a normal boy!

**Ernest:** Are you gonna-- does that mean you're gonna fully turn into a knife bird?

**Mel:** Oh, god. I hope not. I really like having opposable thumbs. *[Laughter]* It would really put a damper on like, most of my life if I was just a bird. [sigh] I dunno, I mean, maybe I am just being paranoid. And they're… fully telling the truth, and they just… Either this wasn't the project with Smokescreen, or they just didn't think it was worth mentioning, because there weren't any ulterior motives and they just… I dunno, either they gave me wings because they thought it was *cool* or I somehow… made them myself, but…

**Ernest:** I mean, you grew all your bones, right? I grew all my bones.

**Mel:** I-- *Yeah*! But, here's the thing! Nobody like-- I mean, okay, yes, somebody *made* you, but like, somebody must've… like, they put me together, right?

**Ernest:** Yeah, but you must've been way smaller before-- You haven't been-- I refuse to believe you've been this tall all your life.

**Mel:** No-- No, believe me, there's some-- I used to be shorter than Cassi, and she was *mad* when I suddenly got taller than her. Uh. But, I mean, that was the point, right? That they wanted to make a robot that would grow like a person?

**Ernest:** Yeah, maybe you just-- like, I dunno, I got weather powers all of a sudden. I didn't have them before, I don't exactly know where they came from, and like, maybe just… like, growing up or whatever--

**Mel:** I just-- I just happened to be a robot that got superpowers?

**Ernest:** Maybe you just happened to be a robot who grew himself knife wings!

***Crewe:** He sort of laughs a little bit, like--*

**Mel:** Well, you know, I like that explanation *better* than my parents lying to me.

***Kasey:** And yeah, I think um-- yeah, Ernest'll just sigh and like--*

**Ernest:** Yeah… if they were… even if they were telling the truth now, it does also mean that they lied to you a whole lot before, so like… not… not good either way.

**Mel:** Yeah… Listen, I'm gonna be honest with you. Uh. The… normal childhood thing? That-- they did-- If that was their goal, they did a real bad job. They did a bad job at that. Not-- not great at raising a child. Robot or otherwise. I mean, I guess I don't know how they would've raised me if I was not a robot. Um. But… if-- if the point was to raise me like I was not a robot, just-- god. I'm-- fuckin'-- You know what really gets me?

**Ernest:** Hm?

**Mel:** When I was little, if they'd told me that I was… like, y'know, that I was special, and they needed my help to… help dad, or whatever. I would've been… *so* happy. Like, that would've made little ten year old me's just… his whole year. And instead, I… they just… decided to not. Talk to me. And just… and then I just had to find out on my own, because fuckin' Box got paranoid and I had to prove him wrong. And look how that went.

***Kasey:** I think Ernest like glances up towards-- maybe there's some like, marks on the ceiling around still.*

***Crewe:** [laughing] Where he broke shit.*

***Kasey:** Um, and he'll be like*

**Ernest:** Yeah… yeah. Like...

***Kasey:** And, um, Ernest will just sort of like start tracing like, patterns a little bit on the, um, like, countertop. And-- and be like*

**Ernest:** Like, I can kinda get what they were trying to do, in terms of like… y'know, sometimes kids suck about stuff that's different. And… I dunno. I can understand them wanting to… try to keep that. But like… there's no way they thought they could keep it secret forever, right?

**Mel:** I mean, I-- I don't think so. I mean I also-- I don't know if like-- I just, I keep thinking like… I don't know what they... need from me? Like, if they just needed to see if I would work, and so they were just like... 'Well we might as well just make him, just... let him pretend he's a normal kid and then fuckin'-- forget about it,' or if they... need me to... do something? Or if-- I mean-- what really gets me is if they... just... like if they did something and I didn't *know* about it, because they lied to me, or... I don't know it's-- it's just-- there's no evidence for anything so I'm just making shit up because I'm… upset and it's like one in the morning and I'm eating fruit loops, but--

***Kasey:** I think-- yeah I think Ernest is just like*

**Ernest:** Yeah, maybe-- maybe we should cool it on the fruit loops.

***Kasey:** And kind of like slide them away.*

**Mel:** Hey, those are my emotional support fruit loops!

**Ernest:** Yeah, but you're-- they're not good, you're gonna just like stay awake all night at that rate.

**Mel:** I… *So*?

**Ernest:** But anyway if they… I mean if they do need, uh, something else from you like *now*... they better *ask* and not like. Do the kidnapping again, or I won't play so nice with the lightning next time.

***Crewe:** [laughs] I think Bolt kind of like, punches him on the shoulder a little bit like*

**Mel:** Yeah, that would be something. Uh. I-- you know I sure hope that they've learned their lesson from the kidnapping. Um. Or at the very least that they hire a nicer kidnapper, you know? Not a fan of the last one. Just-- if there's an app, give her some... bad reviews. Too many knives.

*[Laughter]*

***Kasey:** Yeah Ernest'll make a-- make a mental note of like, 'How do I leave-- '*

***Crewe:** A bad yelp review for my kidnapper?*

***Kasey:** Yup!*

**Mel:** But I mean, they'll probably-- they'll probably ask if they-- if they need something. We-- we don't know that they will, I mean, it sure seemed like they'd... at least partially figured out that machine. Which is terrifying, because I feel like the ability to turn people into robots is,
um. Real dangerous to just have out there in the world.

**Ernest:** Yeah yep and we uh. Let-- let, uh, shadow-y...

**Mel:** Yeah, the goths.

**Ernest:** Yeah, goth twins escape with that.

**Mel:** We sure did do that huh. We did a-- we fucked up. We did a bad job.

**Ernest:** In my defense, I was saving you from being stabbed.

**Mel:** No, yeah, mmhmm. And in my defense, I was stabbed very many times. But it was like-- well, all in all not a great showing for Big Team tonight. But I-- I just hope that we can find the machine, uh... before we just start hearing about people turning into robots.

**Ernest:** Yeah... yeah, that-- that would not... that would not be a great thing.

**Mel:** It would be bad in general. I mean hey, maybe it doesn't work yet.

**Ernest:** There are a lot of ways that it could not work that could be really bad, and I don't really want to think about those too much.

**Mel:** Yeah, yeah, I just-- I'm trying to look on the bright side here, because really just... there's so-- there's a lot of bad points from tonight. I'm trying to find any sort of bright spots. Um.

**Ernest:** Hey, I mean uh... at least you staying here means, uh, you're closer-- closer to set.

**Mel:** Yeah.

***Kasey:** And like, gestures to the like, oven or whatever.*

***Crewe:** Yep.*

**Mel:** Yeah, hey, we could-- we could film at two in the-- we could film *right now* if we wanted to.

**Kasey:** *[laughing]* Ernest definitely looks torn between secret midnight filming but also like, Mel needs to sleep.

*[Laughter]*

**Mel:** I'm just saying... if you won't let me have fruit loops, I feel like I should at least get to put them in the oven and see what happens. Those fruit loops should not go to waste.

***Kasey:** I think-- I think Ernest will like, look around and be like*

**Ernest:** I mean... I'm pretty sure we got-- Look, last time we only got banned from the kitchen for like a week. As long as we don't wake anyone up I'm sure it'll be fine.

**Mel:** Yeah, right? We could be quiet! We're so sneaky! Well, *I'm* sneaky, and as long as you don't start a storm in the middle of the kitchen we'll probably be fine.

**Ernest:** It's-- it's been a while since I've done that.

**Mel:** Great! Perfect. I don't know-- I haven't-- Oh man, I… I've been so focused on trying to figure out if my parents have been lying to me I haven't been thinking about fruit loop recipes. I feel like... what sort of savory meal can you make with fruit loops?

***Kasey:** Um, I think Ernest'll--*

**Mel:** This is the type of thing I can't do at home.

*[Laughter]*

***Kasey:** I think Ernest'll be like... rummaging-- just like opening the fridge and start like rummaging through it a little bit, pulling out just like... biscuit dough--*

*[Laughter]*

***Kasey:** Like yeah, like, some pasta, like just random things--*

***Crewe:** Just whatever won't be missed, like--*

***Kasey:** Whatever's like, the half, like, um, like, half empty like, container of leftovers or whatever.*

***Crewe:** I-- I feel like at this point, everybody else in the house, um, has just started labeling things. Uh, either with like, their names or just with like, 'do not touch'. Like, just frowny faces, like 'not for Mel and Ernest'.*

*[Laughter]*

***Kasey:** Um, and… Yeah I think uh... like, as Ernest is just sort of pulling stuff out he's like*

**Ernest:** So if you think, um, if you think your parents might be trying to hide something, who-- how do you think you'll figure it out? Cause like, I don't know, I wouldn't... even outside of not-- not being a fan of the whole break-ins, like if it's *their* company, they can put whatever information they want there, right?

**Mel:** Okay so... I have an idea. Um. Don't yell at me. I... want to talk to Smokescreen.

***Kasey:** I think-- I think, uh-- uh-- Ernest'll like, raise an eyebrow.*

**Ernest:** Uh, is this gonna be another like, break out of prison kind of deal or… ?

**Mel:** Okay, *first* of all, I don't-- clearly breaking Smokescreen out of prison wouldn't be much of a problem, considering he was able-- like, all the shit he's been able to do while he was in prison--

**Ernest:** Um, presumably-- presumably-- presumably that and, like, more.

**Mel:** He was able to hire mercenaries from in prison, like, come on. But, okay, listen, that's besides the point, because I don't want to break Smokescreen out of prison. I have no reason to
do that.

**Ernest:** Yeah? Yeah, did you have reasons, uh, for your other prison breaks?

**Mel:** Yes, I did! First of all, there was only one! And second of all, *yes*, we were trying to save Samantha's life!

***Kasey:** Ernest is just-- Ernest is just like, narrowing his eyes.*

**Mel:** That's-- I'm not even lying-- Look, this is besides the point. I'm not breaking Smokescreen out of prison. I just wanted to-- I-- Look, I know that a little while back Hana talked to him to try to get information on Hayeli-- Uh, don't tell her I told you that. Or-- also don't tell anybody else that. Um. But... I... if I could just ask *him*, then it-- maybe I could actually get-- I could actually figure out what they were doing on that project.

**Ernest:** Do you think a like… y'know, career supervillain who's in *real* big prison is more or less likely to lie to you than your own parents?

***Kasey:** And Ernest is like-- Ernest is like, seriously like, I don't know.*

*[Laughter]*

**Mel:** Like, historically… historically my parents have lied to me *more* than Smokescreen has.

***Kasey:** Yeah, I think Ernest is like,*

**Ernest:** Yeah, okay, fair.

**Mel:** But I mean also-- Here's the thing. I know that Smokescreen will want to manipulate me, because that's what Smokescreen does. What gets me with my parents is that I don't even-- I don't-- they could be, or they could not be, and I don't know, and that freaks me out even more. Like, at least with Smokescreen I sort of know where I stand.

**Ernest:** Yeah… Yeah. I mean... how much do you... like... want to know? Because--

**Mel:** A lot. Like, I-- I just wanna know--

**Ernest:** 'Cause most of the news you got today, like I know I was all about you talking to your parents, but I-- this-- that was a lot worse than I thought it would be, to be honest, and...

**Mel:** Here-- Here's the thing, right, is... I think that it might be worse than that. But I won't *know* if-- I... if they... built me to do something... *bad*, I-- I want to know. I don't-- I don't-- I just-- I want to know why... they've done any of this! This is-- it's a fuckin' wild-ass thing that they've done! They made a fake person, and then just sort of-- released me into the world, kind of. And... maybe lied to me about why? And I just... I just want to know, for real-- for sure, what hap-- like, what they were doing, and why I exist, and then I can... go from there.

**Ernest:** It doesn't... have to... change things. I mean, I know like, it's a big change to like, y'know, suddenly find out that you're a robot and everything, but like... you're still *you*.

**Mel:** I mean, *yeah*, I-- It-- It's not gonna-- Finding out... *why* they made me isn't gonna change... anything that happened after. You know, like, I'm still gonna... be *me*. But I-- I just, I-- I want-- I want to know, like, I wanna know if I can... trust my parents, and if there's some sort of... hidden... I don't know, 'turn evil' switch in me somewhere. You know? That would be great information for me to know, and terrible information for me to find out as a surprise.

***Kasey:** I think Ernest kinda has a pained look on his face, like, 'eugh, yup, yeah.'*

**Mel:** Hadn't considered that one, huh! *I* have!

***Kasey:** No no no, because Ernest feels like* he has *a turn evil switch.*

***Crewe:** Oh no! Oh, buddy!*

*[Laughter]*

***Kasey:** Not literally, but yeah, figuratively. Yep.*

**Mel:** Like, I just want-- I just want to know, like, if there are secrets about me, I want to have them just in case that they're bad and can be used against me, or against other people. Um. Also, I just sort of feel like I-- like I deserve to know?

**Ernest:** Oh, yeah! Definitely.

**Mel:** Like, I just wanna.

**Ernest:** Yeah, I mean, you definitely do deserve, but like-- I don't know. If your parents or Smokescreen or whatever are gonna like... drag you to hell and back for you to get
that. I just-- I wanna-- I don't wanna see you have to go through that.

**Mel:** Yeah, believe me, if I could just like, magically know this information and not have to talk to anybody about it, I would do that in a-- I would have already done it. I would have done it like, weeks ago. I would-- I'd have done it approximately two seconds, um, after like, you know, stopping the whole accidentally destroying your house thing. Um. But. I-- I-- the way I see it, right, is, it's gonna suck. Inevitably, it will suck. I'm-- I'm-- I've resigned myself to that reality. Uh. And I'm-- I'm prepared to just, you know, have a bad time for a little while. And then... I'll know, and I can just... move on. And not worry about it. But if I *don't* find out, I'm just gonna always be worried about it. I've been... you know, fuckin', paranoid and eating fruit loops at one in the morning, because... what if somebody made me as a weapon, and there's just like a-- a button somewhere that they could push and I'll just like... turn... evil, or something? Like, that's a thing that you could do with a robot, right? That's-- right, like that sounds plausible?

**Ernest:** I-- I-- You know... *so* much more about robots than I do. You are asking the wrong person.

**Mel:** I really, you know, I-- it's-- I-- I have to just *ask*--

**Ernest:** I mean, presumably if there's a switch then you can do it the other way. You know, like, um, Metatron was going wild a couple times, and we got him to calm down.

**Mel:** Well that's the thing, it's-- it's just like with Metatron, right? Is, I… the first time I-- I talked to him, you know, is when I fuckin' almost went flying into the bay, um, and he was being controlled by that thing that Gearhead built, and we couldn't like... he couldn't... help us, or do anything while it was still active, and-- which means-- And like, Metatron, normally, super chill guy, right? Like, he's just sort of a bro. But I've seen him-- more than once, I've-- I've seen Gearhead fuckin', flip a switch, and he freaks out and starts, like, attacking shit, and I... don't want that to happen to me.

**Ernest:** Yeah, that would be... that sounds like it'd be pretty terrible, but like, you got Metatron out. We'd-- we'd figure it out.

**Mel:** I-- I just have to-- Listen. If there's any hypothetical evil buttons, I just have to know that they exist, and then we can... go and level the building that holds them, and we'll never have to worry about it again. But I… have--

***Kasey:** Ernest also wincing at mentions of leveling buildings.*

*[Laughter]*

**Mel:** Look, we can even… We can… level it in spirit. The point is, we get rid of it. But before we could do that, you know, this is-- hypothetically, I-- again, I'm just paranoid about so much right now. But, before we can do that, I need to know... everything. And if my parents are telling the truth, then... great! We can help my dad not die, and then figure out if I... want to talk to them again. Um. But in the meantime, I'm going to try to talk to a supervillain, and hope he tells me the truth.

**Ernest:** Yeah... Yeah, just, you know, keep your head on a swivel. Um.

***Kasey:** And also, I think Ernest is like-- maybe like, boiling pasta in fruit loops, like.*

***Crewe:** Yeah. Fruit loop water!*

**Ernest:** Like you're not gonna-- you've been thinking about this, like, all night. Just, uh, help me with this fruit loops pasta and then go to bed.

**Mel:** Yeah. Hey-- Hey, have you considered, uh... do you have any leftover juice? You know, I feel like... that, you know, fruit and fruit, that-- You could boil pasta in apple juice, right?

***Kasey:** Ernest will look for apple juice. [Laughter] I think there's probably a like, montage, because you, uh, do you think, do you-- do either or both of Ernest and Mel make it out of the kitchen that night?*

***Crewe:** Oh my god. Oh, god. Definitely not. I mean, listen. They don't leave the stove on or anything. Because we're not gonna fuckin' burn down the Ostenberg-Welles house 'cause we're tired and tried to cook at two in the morning. I feel like-- like, by the point that they're trying to assemble their creation, at least one of them has fallen asleep. Like Mel's just fuckin' conked out on the island.*

***Kasey:** I think... Uh, yeah, I think-- Yeah, um, Ernest is probably like, trying to meticulously arrange something for a few minutes before he notices this. [Laughter] And then maybe goes and moves Mel over to like a couch or something. [Laughter] And then-- and then--*

***Crewe:** Beautiful. And they just leave the crimes there--*

***Kasey:** But then passed out himself, like.*

*[Laughter]*

***Crewe:** Just, on the other couch.*

***Kasey:** Yup.*

***Crewe:** And they just leave the crimes there for everybody else to discover in the morning.*

***Kasey:** We're probably gonna get another--*

***Crewe:** We get banned again.*

***Kasey:** Yup.*

***Crewe:** Or there's just like a-- there's like a curfew where it's just like, you're not allowed in the kitchen past 8 p.m.*

*[Laughter]*

***Kasey:** Yeah!*

***Crewe:** Yeah. Lovely. The good boys.*

***Kasey:** All right. I will boot Craig.*

***Crewe:** Yeah, get out of here, Craig. Get lost.*