The Paranoia Game

**"The Paranoia Game"** is the twentieth episode of the podcast. It was released on 12 May 2015.

## Episode Description

Against Minkowski's better judgment, Eiffel decides to use Hilbert's mechanical skills to repair a faulty system in the station's optical network. Things seem to be going well, until Eiffel and Hilbert discover that one of their screwdrivers has vanished into thin air. With everyone's whereabouts and actions accounted for, the crew struggles to solve the enigma of the mysterious, disappearing screwdriver. Plus, a staggeringly vast number of evil plans, Machiavellian little schemes, ginormous boulders, powerful magnets, and Dr. Tech Support.

## Plot summary

Taking place on day 625 of the Hephaestus mission, the episode begins with Minkowski listening to a recording of Hilbert's interrogation on repeat, in which he tells her that he had permission from command to perform the experiments he'd been running during the mission. She asks about Captain Lovelace, and his response is that she is dead.

Eiffel interrupts her, but she is determined to decipher whether Hilbert is lying or not. She tells Eiffel that Hilbert admitted to being Doctor Selberg, and that his version of the story matches what they already knew from listening to Lovelace's logs.

The station is about to go through a class 4 solar storm which she has to steer through on manual mode due to the failures in the autopilot's navigational system. Eiffel suggests letting Hilbert do some repairs while this happens, and Minkowski is not happy about the idea. After Eiffel assures her that rewiring the fiber optics center will help improve Hera's navigational system and that he will supervise Hilbert, she is still skeptical, but caves in and lets Eiffel go on with the plan under the condition that he be extremely careful and communicate to her at the first sign of trouble.

She helps Eiffel do inventory of the toolkit needed for the repairs, and later, Eiffel and Hilbert work in the Data Center of the station. Hilbert is handcuffed to the casing of the fiber optics center, and the toolbox is fastened down on the opposite side of the room. They work in relative silence, until Eiffel starts whining about how long it takes. Hilbert tries to convince him to give him more freedom, but Eiffel isn't having any of it and refuses.

After some groaning noises from within the walls, Hera tells Eiffel and Hilbert that they're reaching the solar storm's event horizon and will start feeling turbulence. Hilbert asks for a screwdriver from Eiffel, and as he looks for it on the toolbox a soft warning chirping noise starts going off, alerting the crew that there's an electrical irregularity in the back-up life support processor.

Eiffel pops open a panel and is disgusted at the inside of it, which is moldy and sparking with electricity, since he has neglected his duties to check on it until now. Eiffel asks Hera if they can disconnect it for a while before dealing with it, but before she can answer completely he extinguishes the sparks with the fire extinguisher from the tool kit.

He puts repairing the processor later on the to-do list, and continues the repairs with Hilbert, who asks again for the screwdriver. After Eiffel can't find it in the toolbox, he accuses Hilbert of already having it, who claims not to have it. They go back and forth for a while until Hilbert suggests just using the backup screwdriver from the box, but Eiffel doesn't let it go, as he’s convinced that Hilbert has it. After Hilbert continuously denies it, Eiffel asks Hera to tell him how he stole it, but she is unable to answer due to being blinded by Eiffel shutting off her optics with the fire extinguisher earlier.

They decide that Hilbert couldn't have taken it given he's been handcuffed the whole time, but they still have no idea where it is, when Minkowski calls through the communication system. She is sure there's something going on, but Eiffel cuts off the call quickly and panics. Hera tries calming him down, ensuring that no one has come in or out of the room.

Hilbert speaks again, coming to the conclusion that this is a setup, and it was actually Hera who took the screwdriver to blame it on him. He states that she wants revenge for the events of the mutiny, and Eiffel starts considering it, given that she has tried killing Hilbert before. Hera tells the two of them that given her blindness at the moment, and the fact that she does not actually have hands, she couldn't have taken the screwdriver.

At that, Hilbert starts suspecting Eiffel of being an accomplice, and is sure the two of them have been working together against him. Eiffel denies it, and things escalate quickly as the three of them grow more paranoid.

A few hours later, the storm is done and Minkowski enters the Data Center to assess the situation. When she opens the door she sees that every piece of machinery is in pieces, large sections of the floor, walls, and ceiling are detached, and both Eiffel and Hilbert are naked. Eiffel is about to explain the situation when Hilbert stops him. He concludes that if it wasn't either him, Eiffel or Hera, then Minkowski had to be the screwdriver thief. Eiffel immediately agrees, and they take turns accusing her, convinced that she didn't place a screwdriver in the toolbox on purpose to prevent them from causing trouble while she was away. She is annoyed, and sarcastically admits it, only to tell them she was too busy piloting the space station to have taken it. They realize the faults in their argument and get dressed again.

Two hours later, they have taken even more parts of the room apart, and Hilbert is still in handcuffs. Minkowski tries to come up with possible answers, but they get refuted, and everyone is exhausted. Eiffel wants to quit, but Minkowski says that since they're the only people in the station it has to be there. There are some more loud clunking noises from the walls, and Hilbert suggests that there might be someone else with them, and they just haven't noticed. He alludes to the secret lab that Hera wasn't able to detect.

Eiffel is open to the idea, but Minkowski refuses to believe it, and orders Eiffel to replay for her what happened before the screwdriver went missing. He is annoyed but repeats it again.

Halfway through, Eiffel yells as something touches his back. Everyone is startled and Minkowski draws her gun and Hera asks to get her optic system reconnected. Something reached for the toolbox, which they then identify as a vine from the Plant Monster. They are relieved to have figured out that It had been the one to take the screwdriver, until the implications settle in on them. They are left unsure as to why It took it, or what to do next, and the episode ends.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.