The Sarkissian Letters

Back to Dawn's Page.

A series of letters to Anaya while she's in jail written collaboratively by the people inhabiting Dawn's body.

Key:

Solae, *Luna,***Dawn**

## S5E4 - Second Star to the Right and Slam Dunk Till Morning

2020, August 22nd
Dear Princess Anaya,
This is Solae. I hope you don't mind if I write to you, since we technically haven't met, but because I was the one who actively lived through today it seemed only fitting. I'm writing because ever since Luna found out it was possible to send you stuff while you were serving out your sentence, she has been absolutely insufferable about sharing news about our Big Team adventures. *Hi Anaya! Luna here! I don't want you to forget about me and all the other Big Team nerds while you're stuck in the slammer (which totally sucks, BTW, IDK why you're doing this to yourself).*I personally think that being accountable for your actions is a GOOD THING that MORE PEOPLE WHO SHARE THIS BODY should learn how to do, so I really admire you for sticking to your values like this, even if we all miss you a lot.
Anyway, today me, Tay and Ellen, and Anomaly helped some guy named Jichael Mordan get his ship back so he could keep on being a really really bad space pirate.*Hey! Stop being mean to Captain Mordan! Let him life his life!*He lost his ship, came to earth to get a new one, and realized he lost that ship too. He's a terrible pirate and this is the hill I will die on. We ended up finding the ship for him after using one of GAIA's drones to fly out to a big fancy house. She put us on the roof, which would have been a problem, but I found out I could fly by telekinesising myself today so it was no big deal. *Some people have all the luck.*
Turns out the house belonged to one of those girls who hate Atlanta for some reason *(and clearly have no souls, I mean, literally HOW can you hate Atlanta?? It's impossible, unless you have no soul). ​*Her dad was a member of the Consortium, which is like...a magic cult? They had taken care of the ship, and he gave it to us in exchange for some magical moon artifacts, which was nice of him since terrible space pirate Jichael Mordan didn't even have proof of ownership. I'm really glad Anomaly was able to talk everyone into doing things properly--it was nice to see Big Team being orderly for once. *You mean boring.*Shut up.
Turns out the Consortium didn't do a good job of taking care of the ship, since once we got it up and running we found out the entire thing was full of shadow demons. *Solae keeps talking smack about Captain Modran but she didn't even THINK to let me out so I could try and control the shadow demons and let herself get beat to a pulp instead while Ellen took care of everything like a boss. 'What a loser, amirite?*Listen, Ellen and Tay were being cool, and I was...a little distracted OK? Tay and Ellen are really smart and punch good and I kinda wanna be them when I grow up. Them and Anomaly ended up saving my butt and Tay got her shields broken which really, really wasn't great for reasons I will get into.
So all of that was pretty par for the course overall, right? Well, here's where things get weird. Some space lady with a bunch of swords *(a really HOT space lady with a bunch of swords--don't forget the hotness!!)* showed up and challenged terrible pirate Jichael Mordan to a space duel basically. Anomaly did this really cool thing where they kinda warped us into space and back out again? *He was thinking with portals'**​​.***Yeah, sure, let's go with that. So we boarded the enemy ship, and I tried to attack her but, well, things didn't go super great. I did manage to stop her from blowing up our ship though, which was nice. Tay, Ellen, and Anomaly all did a much better job of fighting her, and things were going great until Tay got sent directly into the void of space, where she was exposed to way too much sunlight. *It wasn't pretty.* It was scary!! She got really burned!! But Anomaly got her back and we found her a bunch of blankets to keep the sun off her and took her back home and put her in Ellen's basement. *You know, that would sound a lot more weird if I didn't have your memories.*I promise it wasn't weird! She just had to camp out for a bit to stay safe! I'm not going to lie, I feel really bad about it, since if I had managed to get a couple of attacks in the villain might not have escaped, and if I had managed to take out the shadows then she wouldn't have broken her shields in the first place, but she's gettign better which is good! She and Ellen were fighting with some horrible person named Iconoclast on Chitter the other day so I think things are going ok. *Yeah that Iconoclast guy is gonna get an ass-whoopin' if he keeps talking about disrespecting people's bodily autonomy like that.*For once, we agree one hundred percent. That sword lady is also going to--pardon my language--get the swords beaten out of her the next time I see her. I figure it's the least I can do.

I hope you're doing well, and that things aren't too boring or unpleasant. I know this is prison but I still hope you're being treated fairly and adequately! I'm not sure if you can send letters but feel free to respond if you can, and let us know if we can come visit. *Don't worry if you can't talk to us, I'm going to call up the jail tomorrow and ask about visitation and whether we can bring presents anyway.*Stay safe, and lots of love!
Sincerely,
Solae *and Luna*

## S5 OVA - The Curious Case of the Dogs in the Nighttime

2020, September 11th
Dear Princess Anaya,
Today I learned that children are fascinating and extremely fun to engage with. If Big Team doesn't work out, I am strongly considering a career as an educator of young children. I feel my ability to literally levitate them out of danger will prove useful in these efforts. *Solae. Solster. Sol-Sol. My beloved sister. That was literally the least interesting part of what happened today why are you boring Ma Princesse to tears??* Luna you know full well I do not speak pestilence of the tongue please put those words away. Sorry Anaya, French is a lovely language. I guess I'm a little bitter Luna can speak it so easily when I can't wrap my head around it at all. Dawn's mom has pretty much given up on me at this point, which is sad. I have Armenian though, so at least that's something? *Yeah, something silly and made up of gibberish. At least French doesn't worship at the altar of consonants and shove all of them into massive frankenclusters of doom.*At least Armenian pronounces every letter in the word. What on earth is a "oiseuax????" Anyway, we are getting way off topic. *Fair. Sorry Anaya. Proceed, ma soeur stupide.*Even I could pick that one up, Իմ անխելք քոյրս։
OK, so Luna was actually right, a lot more stuff than just me finding out I like kids happened. Namely, some asshole was using mind control to make dogs steal stuff for him? It was really weird and he was all pretentious about it and I hated it very much. It didn't help that he kept making the dogs attack us and I kept having to use my powers to hold them back. I didn't want to hurt any of them...they were so cute...
I helped A-Vis beat up the dog villain guy, which was very cathartic. A-Vis is a new member of the team by the way -- they have the power of stretching their limbs beyond human proportions and the unique power of having a brain cell. *Hey! Ryan also has a brain cell!*Fair. But Ryan was busy wrangling Cadenza -- another new kid who can sing really well and with a lot of force -- and Blink, an eight year old who recruited us to fix this problem and get her dog back, so I got to bond with A-Vis a bit. I really like them! They're smart and respectful. *You also really like Ryan cause they're smart. And Anomaly because they're respectful. You're very transparent.*Shush, I'm perfectly aware that I have a type. Just like your type is "irreverent and snarky," *Just like me.*
Anyway, this letter has turned out way more convoluted than I would have liked and I'm very sorry about that. In summary, what happened today was an eight year old "Detectigative Reporter" (so cute!) named Blink recruited Big Team to help her find her dog. Ryan and A-Vis tried doing things the logical way while I tried comforting Blink and Cadenza made friends with strangers. *I like that about her.*I know you do. We found out from Cadenza's stranger and A-Vis' super senses that lots of dogs were going missing and robbing jewelry stores. We figured that was connected, and tracked the dogs back to their source. *A-Vis demonstrated their third superpower--getting surprise tools to help us later out of bushes.*We tracked the dogs back to their source, who turned out to be a weird dognapper guy in a jackal mask with no morals or ambition. *Totally lame.*We kicked his butt and called the authorities. Everyone was super cool in that fight for the record. Cadenza sang her way through a massive crowd of dogs. A-Vis created a brilliant plan and wrapped the villain up with his power of being long. Ryan was Ryan,aka the smartest one in the room. I got to punch things! All in all a really fun day.
*I'm going to take over this letter now to say things because I didn't get to do anything today and don't really have much to add, but mostly because I miss you and I hope you're doing ok! Is jail like it is in the movies? Are you really good at basketball now? I ordered some cupcakes from Atlanta--did you get them? I figured she would know what flavors you liked. Are you safe? Are you happy?*
*Sorry for asking so many questions. I uh. Haven't really had many people to talk to around the base. Dawn's parents keep calling us away from Big Team for "training" 'or whatever and it's all really miserable and making it hard to actually, you konw, be a part of Big Team. I miss my friends a lot when I can't hang out with them, but sometimes it feels like when I get back they've all kinda moved on without me, you know? IDK if you've ever felt like that, actually, since you're like, a super fancy princess and all. Did you know you're the coolest person I have ever met? Except maybe that elf prinxarch, Lavish, who I uh. Kinda went on a really fun date with and maaaaybe kissed. For the first time. More on that later if you want to know. Anyway, uh. Let me know if you want to keep hearing about our adventures?* Stay safe, and hopefully see you soon!
Best,
Solae, *and Luna*

## S5E30 - An Assessment, Part 1

2020, September 22nd
*Bonjour Anaya!*
*Mom said it was MY turn on the body today, so I get to write the letter and the other two have to be the snarky peanut gallery! MUAHAHAHA!!!! Let me tell you though, today was the weirdest day...*
*So while I was working on improving Solae's last letter, I got a call from GAIA saying we got a strange transmission and I should take a look at it, right? Typical stuff. Me, A-Vis, Cadenza, and EliZe all showed up to see what was going down, and GAIA played this video from some shady person called "The Immortal". Super dumb, right? Worse than "Iconoclast" even, and that was pretty bad. What is it with boomers and stupid names? Do you think it's like, a mid life crisis thing? I've never seen one of those but I hear they're brutal. Anyway, ze told us ze'd kidnapped our parents and ze was going to give them to a weird cult if we didn't come rescue them by 10pm.*It's always a weird cult, isn't it. *Yeah, can we like. Not have to deal with a weird cult for like. Five seconds. Or at least not when I FINALLY have the time to make some headway on Three Houses?*Not everything is about video games, Luna. *No, sometimes it's about anime. Or KPOP. I have variety in my life.*
*Anyway, A-Vis uses their super senses to find out that we gotta go to the hot dog stand in the park to find this guy, so we go there and they like, totally flip a table and rage quit on a tough social interaction, which like, fair. I would too tbqh. Cadenza's screaming in the back this whole time--poor girl was worried sick, and her parents are actually nice people who love her so I can't really blame her. I didn't really give a shit whether we found Dawn's parents cause they SUCK, but like, her little boyfriend was there so I guess I was kinda worried? EliZe and I did our best to help A-Vis and Cadenza with their freak outs since we weren't as shook up, and it went...kinda ok! Think I'm getting better at this connecting with the newbies thing.*
*Anyway, so after we destroyed a nice woman's livelihood, we went to the auditorium, where we found out the whole thing was booked for a "private event". This sounded hella suspicious so of COURSE we walk in, right? It's what you do.*No it's not. *Shut up. So we walk in, like the cool confident mofos we are, and we see this dragon kid, who does some weird magic shit and sends us into something called "The Dreamscape." There, well, I'll let Solae explain this bit.*
THE TERMINUS SHOWED UP AND I GOT TO BEAT HER TO A PULP!!! TAKE THAT YOU HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING!!! THAT'S FOR MY FRIENDS, TAY, ELLEN, AND ANOMALY!!!! (Also everyone else joined in on calling her out cause she caused a lot of problems for us and was generally a terrible person it was really nice I appreciated it very much). *Yeah, yeah, Solae Smash, whatever. She looked even hotter this time than the last time ngl, but unfortunately she vanished before I could like, talk to her about what her deal was since SOMEONE decided to BREAK THE SANCTITY OF DIBS and TAKE OVER THE BODY so she could hurr durr jock it up.*In my defense, I was mad. *That's always your defense. It's not a good defense.*
*So unlike Solae, A-Vis has game, and they managed to seduce the dragon boy, Initiate, into helping us out. It was the coolest thing I have ever seen. I love this kid. Anyway, they convince him to help us out, which he does by giving us this absolutely INCREDIBLE quantum map thing. It was hella cool. Ryan would love it.*We should tell them about it. *Yes, yes we should...*
*So we navigate through the dreamscape with the help of A-Vis' dragon boo, and we make it out and to where the Immortal is. And this person. Has the NERVE. To try and go off on us about our technique or whatever. Seriously. Harry Potter and the AUDACITY of this bitch amirite? Ze's trying to yell at a bunch of teenagers for being upset that ze kidnapped our parents and caretakers and those caretaker's TINY CHILDREN like. Shut up. I don't see YOU trying to fix this city's problems because no one else will, oh high and mighty immortal person.*I mean, hir right tho, you could have been more careful. *Well EXCUSE us for not being super rational when people we care about are being sold to a blood cult by an Immortal alien!*Fair. *Ze had this like, weird thing for EliZe though. I don't like that. I hope she stays safe, cause she was really really cool and fun to talk to.*
*Our parents turned out fine, BTW, and Cadenza TOTALLY went off on A-Vis' shitty caretaker. It was incredible. Kid's a wildfire, and she's gonna make it big someday. I gotta ask her to autograph some things so I can sell them for fifty bazillion dollars when she's a famous celebrity who's too busy to talk to any of us regular people anymore. Her parents were nice and they invited EliZe to ice cream who invited ME to ice cream which was amazing!! I love being invited to things!! Especially when cool people are involved! So yeah, all in all a good day. Hope you're doing okay in jail, and that you got the books we sent! I'm gonna see if we can come visit anytime soon. We'll have to be careful cause Dawn's parents don't want us to ruin our image or whatever but. We'll be there. Just let us know when, I guess? Or I'll find out. Either way. See you soon!*
**OK, hi Princess Anaya. This is Dawn Solae and Luna are dormant right now, which means I finally get to be just me again for a little bit. I mean, I can be me whenever I want, but I try and let Solae and Luna have more time out and about since they haven't been alive as long, you know? It only seems fair, and frankly I don't have much going for me anyway at this point, so. I'm hoping I can ask you for a little bit of advice. That "little boyfriend" (ugh) Luna mentioned is this kid named Tan. We've been friends since we were maybe two years old, until Luna told him I have "a crush" on him and now he won't talk to me. I didn't even get a CHANCE to talk to him after he got literally kidnapped because my parents were too busy trying to make sure Solae and Luna didn't besmirch the family name or whatever (and didn't even bother to ask if I was okay after they all got kidnapped or anything...). But I want to talk to him. I just. Don't know what to say. So I guess...do you have any ideas? Most of Big Team are Solae and Luna's friends, and I don't want to intrude on them having a good time, but you seem really smart and I don't really know who else to turn to. Anyway I hope you're doing okay and staying healthy and safe. Thanks for listening.**
Best,
Solae,*Luna,* **and Dawn**

## S5.5OVA - Fearless Rescue Mission

2021, January 13th

**Dear Anaya,**

**It has been....quite the day my friend.....quite the day....where do I even start with this? Like...it's been a WEEK to be sure, but today was just nine levels of weird and I don't even know how to start talking about any of it.** *Why don't you start with the missing datemate*. **OK, yeah, I'll start with the missing datemate.**

**So it's been a while since our last letter (and I'm really sorry about that! Life got to be...life), and in the meantime we met another plural person! Faer name is Fearless, and they can split up into two people named Elena and Maria, who you might know from villaining. They're all just...really nice? And fun to talk to.** And smart, and pretty. *Almost as pretty as you, princesse ;)*

**ANYWAY, we started, well, trying things out, seeing how romance (and queerplatonic stuff in my case) worked out. It's been going ok, or it was until Fearless got kidnapped.** *Yeah, it was really scary. All faer friends and partners were super concerned. We had a sleepover of comfort and support though, which was nice.* **The next day, me, Astra (this really really cool star demigod who is very fun to talk to), EliZe (who I told you about in the last letter) and Boon set out to rescue faer.**

**So faer witch...mom?** I believe it was a witch mentor. **Whatever. Her witchy lady grown up person had pinpointed her location to Wolfe Island. Have you ever been? It's a weird place.** *For starters the werewolves didn't even know if they were unionized when Boon asked, which like, come on. How are you not nigh constantly aware of to whom the means of production belong?* Luna, some of us are busy doing things like trying not to get murdered by werewolves. *Oh you're one to talk, miss "I play bowling with my enemies".* Hush.

**The werewolves, for context, were trying to keep us off the island, which had gone into lockdown because of these weird portals that had shown up in the sky. Boon fell into one, and we followed them in only to find out it linked to another dimension.** *I met another Dawn! She was a bitch!* Be nice, Luna. *Hey! I'm not the one who decided to stop being conscious cause she couldn't handle the idea of being anything but lawful good!* Touche.

**We all met other usses. Boon got along well with other Boon. I think they made a text chain? Not sure if there are any other Boons in there but knowing them there might be soon. We might be getting a council of Boons. Not sure if that's exciting or terrifying. ANYWAY, EliZe got mixed up with some cultists, and we all managed to convince our other selves to help. Unfortunately, I uh. Kinda got time bubbled away with my other me for a bit so I'm not sure what happens next. From what I HEAR, Boon actually did a time shenanigan, EliZe had some name issues, and Astra held this whole operation together like the saint they are. And we got Sapphire back, so. All's well that ends well! Anyway, thought you might like to hear this story, and I hope you're doing well! If you can, let us know when the next visit day is so we can see you in person.**

**Love,**
**Dawn,** Solae, *and Luna*

*P.S. Bonjour ma princesse!!! Luna here! Dawn went to sleep so I can tell you about the actual important part of the day, which is that while in the time bubble we did some talking with other!Dawn that got us thinking. I think we might actually be ready to leave our parents behind and strike out on our own soon. Maybe even go to college! It'll be really nice not to have to deal with any expectations but our own for a change, but things are still gonna be tough for a bit. We might even have to leave Big Team so that we can get a job and stuff. If you have any advice, or if you'd be willing to get boring letters please let us know. Thanks. Love you <3*