Oops All (team) Bonded(ing)

April 23, 2021, Chicago, following the events of S6E39: Oops All Bonded

While they were wandering through thrift shops in Chicago, Ryan remembers something that they had wanted to say. Hana was down another aisle of this particular shop, and they thought that Faith was trying something on--or finding a hat that would hide her new horns, one of the two--so they were pretty sure nobody around would be listening as they headed over to where Brenna was looking through a rack of clothing.

“Hey, Brenna--” they consider starting with their main point, and then remember the day they’ve all had. “--how’re you doing? After all of, well, that.”

Brenna is holding up a knitted...something. She isn’t entirely sure. On first look it had appeared to be a cardigan but there were too many holes for that. Whether or not it is a real garment, it could be a fun toy for Mashed Potato, Calder’s cat, to destroy. It might even keep him out of her own knitting for a bit...maybe. Brenna looks up as Ryan approaches.

“Hi, Ryan. Um…” Brenna looks down at her left arm, where both a bit of her new glowing blue scar and the Mjolnir bracelet are visible past the sleeve of her jacket. She tries to tug it down a little, but the jacket isn’t flexible enough for that. “I’m fine. Just another day being a disappointment. How are you? What you did was incredibly cool.”

Alright, *that* seems strange. Ryan blinks, trying to process what Brenna could mean by that and looking visibly confused as they do.

“That...doesn’t sound like you being fine,” they observe, unsure if they’re saying too much or overstepping by saying *any* of this, but also unable to just stay nothing. “And...I mean, I’m doing alright, still, uh, coping with Wolfgang--Teen Nachtmusik--existing, but...I...don’t think you were a disappointment? Today?” They wish they didn’t sound so absolutely dumbfounded by the idea. “I think you were fantastic.”

Brenna furrows her brow, looking at Ryan like they’re just as confusing as the not-cardigan-thing she’s holding. “I’m not a good Thor. I’m not confident, or trained, or…” Brenna pauses, trying to think of a word that isn’t just ‘violent.’ “Combat-focused. I wasn’t supposed to be Thor. My sister is. The hammer wanted me to go home today, through the portals, to give the hammer back. Because I’m just,” Brenna forces herself to get the next word out without her voice cracking, and she looks down at the knitted thing, “temporary.”

There’s...a lot there, and Ryan isn’t entirely sure how to address it. They look up at Brenna, seeing the moment of pain on her face as she says the word *temporary,* and that--that sticks in their head, because it doesn’t make sense. Or, it doesn’t make sense as a bad thing. They reach out awkwardly, resting a hand on her arm and not knowing if she wants, or would be comforted by, being touched.

“Brenna, forgive me if I’m wrong. I’m not an expert in how the mantles of the gods work,” they admit. “But it seems, at least to me, that *every* Thor is a temporary Thor. That’s what the mantle is. Every Thor in that hammer, every one of the people who wielded Mjolnir before you--they were exactly as temporary as you are.”

“I...but...they…” Brenna stammers for a moment before falling silent. She can’t fault Ryan’s logic. Even the first Thor was temporary. Then again, as far as she knows, everyone else had chosen this. She was roped in for some unknown purpose. And the way that unknown Thor in the hammer had called her temporary was certainly different than how the rest of them had been. She was different. And it isn’t a good thing. She sighs.

“You’re right. But my situation is different than the rest of them. I guess, I don’t know what I’m doing here. As Thor. I’m bad at it. And even though I somehow got the mantle, no one seems happy that I do, even the past Thors, who supposedly chose me. I don’t know what it wants from me that Elli -- um, my sister who was training to be Thor -- couldn’t do better. Thor is violence and destruction and doing impossible feats by accident. If I were a blacksmithing god, sure. That would make sense. I don’t know why I shouldn’t just go back to Asgard and try to make the magic bond the mantle to Elli. Everyone would be happier.”

Brenna had balled up the knitted thing in her hands as she spoke, making it even more unidentifiable.

Ryan gives in to the urge to gently take the knitted...sweater? *Thing,* from Brenna, smoothing it out with their hands and recognizing, in the back of their head, that they’re turning into their mother. There are, they suppose, worse fates. They finish flattening the tag down as they turn what Brenna’s saying over in their head.

*Thor is violence and destruction and doing impossible feats by accident.*

“You know,” they say, keeping their voice relatively light, “when I first heard that Thor had joined Big Team--before I met you, mind, but when I first learned about it, do you know what my first thought was?” They pause, but keep going before they decide not to say this. “It was, ‘Oh god, no, out of all the Asgardians, not that one.’” They snort, shaking their head at themself.

“Not a particularly charitable thought, I’ll admit. Not one that I’m proud of. But I’d just gotten back from the mission stopping Ragnarok, and tensions between Avalon and Asgard were high--well, they’re always high--and I just thought, the *last* thing we need right now is violence and destruction and impossible feats of strength that can level buildings. The last thing we need is another impulsive wrecking ball on Big Team who hits first and asks questions later.” They hand the smoothed-out sweater back to Brenna, looking up to make eye contact with her again.

“And then I met you. And you weren’t what I expected, at all, from Thor, and we were going on a mission to Avalon itself. And it should have been a nightmare, you know? If you were a “proper” Thor.” They do air quotes with their fingers, making the sarcasm of that word clear.

“But you weren’t. You met those pages with compassion and kindness and, the second they were threatened, you did something I’m willing to bet no Asgardian god has been brave enough to do. You stood in defense of an Avalonian town and you didn’t retreat, and you didn’t back down, and you won. An entire generation of Avalon’s next knights know that when they were young and scared and in trouble, Thor saved them.”

They look away, aware that they’d been staring at Brenna for a long moment. “You’re not what a typical Thor would be. You’re not who I pictured. And that’s *good,* in my books. Maybe, right now, the world doesn’t *need* a normal Thor, a Thor who is too confident to consider what her actions might cause, a Thor who is violent and acts without thinking. Maybe at a time when Avalon and Asgard are moving toward peace, when a jotun joins Big Team and everyone involved is trying to figure out how to live with Halcyon City, we need a Thor who is a blacksmith. Who knows how to make things instead of just breaking them.”

The idea that Brenna being the way she is, and being Thor differently than expected, was a *good* thing left her speechless. She has no idea how to respond to that. With nothing left in her hands, she reverts to rubbing her thumb along the engravings in the Mjolnir bracelet. Tears begin to well in her eyes as she lets the words sink in. It’s a little overwhelming hearing something so positive. She desperately wants to believe that Ryan is right. That a Thor like her is good, and needed, and that she doesn’t have to change to be worthy. It sounds like a wonderful fantasy. The idea that she was chosen because of who she is and not in spite of it, or by accident. But the Thors in the hammer didn't seem to think she was doing a good job.

"That's…so nice. I don't think anyone else has said I'm a good Thor. And I really want you to be right, but...if I was chosen by the past Thors, why wouldn't they be encouraging instead of…critical?" Brenna lost her fight against the tears, and one falls down her face as she looks down at the bracelet. "Sorry, I don't expect you to have an answer for that. And I don't know why I'm crying. Sorry. It's just, no one has said they liked me as Thor before. Like people like me as Brenna, but being Thor is part of me now, and it doesn't feel like people understand that. Um...yeah…"

Brenna wipes at her tears, a little embarrassed that she started crying in front of a teammate. Especially Ryan, who is very cool and powerful and seems like they have things much more together than most people she knows.

Ryan’s eyes widen in alarm when Brenna starts crying, and they have an awkward moment of not knowing where to put their hands. They want to be comforting, but they also have *no* idea if they’re close enough to Brenna to hug her or not, or if that would even be a good idea. Are hugs at a different level of intimacy in Asgard? Would hugging her make Brenna *more* uncomfortable?

They put a hand on Brenna’s shoulder, awkwardly, in lieu of anything else.

“Hey. It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize for crying, that’s fine. Happens to the best of us, when someone says something you don’t expect, even if it’s nice.” They pause, remembering--remembering *distinctly--*the first moment someone ever said he thought their powers were useful, were *important,* even without the gauntlets. “Sometimes especially then. Do you want a hug?”

Brenna takes a deep breath and nods. “Yes, thank you. That would be nice.”

The two hug, a little awkwardly. Brenna is very tall, and they don’t know each other super well. When she pulls back, Brenna gives them a smile. “Thank you, Ryan. That...all that, and you believing in me, really means a lot to me.” She takes another deep breath, still somewhat fighting off the urge to cry. “Do you think we should see if Faith needs help finding a hat or something?”

“Sounds good to me,” Ryan says, looking around for where their teammates are. “And I’m not sure where Hana went, so maybe we should find her as well. And, uh, thanks. For telling me all of that. I’m glad you could talk to me.” They flush, more than a little awkward. “Anyway. Finding Faith. Let’s go.”