Hecuba McCracken

Fanart by Shyranno

She is a taxi driver. Her company is called 'McKraken Cabs' and its motto is 'Need a ride? I'm your guide.'

## Physical Appearance

She is a bright-eyed woman.

In both Chapter 1 and 5, she is wearing a tawny checkered cap.

## Cakes and Ale

### Chapter 1

The Jolly Good Person can meet her while they are running away from Johnny Buttons if they choose to jump in a cab, which is occupied by Ernie and is driven by Hecuba.

If the Jolly Good Person's scandal was the joyride, she will comment that it was very poor driving.

She gets a commission to direct people to join the Noble Gases.

If the Jolly Good Person does not pay for their fare, they will be in Hecuba's debt and she will also 'reserve the right to make fun of [them] to anyone who asks.' If the Jolly Good Person pays her a significant amount of readies, she will speak fondly of them wherever she goes. It is also possible to leave the punch bowl with her.

### Chapter 5

She will drive the Jolly Good Person and Fitzie to the store where they need to buy an outfit. She will be impressed if the Jolly Good Person acquires The Majordomo and will promise Fitzie to let everyone know.

She will declare that she is not listening to the ongoing conversation, although she will contribute to it; for example, she can give advice regarding Tabby's romance and narrate the plot of the Rin-Tin-Tin movie.

She will note that there aren't any loose coins under the seats as she cleans the cab out every other day.

Although she often praises her driving skills, she will say that she sometimes gets the accelerator confused with the steering and the brake when she is not careful. Once she got left and right mixed up early in her career but solved the issue by keeping an index card with "left" and "right" written on it upside-down on the dashboard.

If the Jolly Good Person is in debt, Fitzie will handle the situation. If upperhand > 50, Fitzie will either haggle the price or say it cannot be paid depending on how many readies the Jolly Good Person has. If upperhand < 50, Fitzie will ensure that the Jolly Good Person pays back their money, even if it empties their whole account.

### Chapter 8

If the Jolly Good Person has not paid back their debt, they will receive a friendly letter from Hecuba, noting that they have still not paid what they owe to her, but that she understands that debts must sometimes be paid slowly and safely, much in the same way that cabs must be driven, and that the Jolly Good Person may remit what they owe at their own leisure.

## Quotes by Hecuba

"*I will need your foot off my head. It breaks my concentration*." (Chapter 1)

"*I am also the soul of secrecy. I would tell you all sorts of unseemly stories about conversations that have been had in my cab. They would shock you to your core. But I won't because I don't listen to them. That's not the sort of cab this is*." (Chapter 5)

"*I'm going to make a few left turns to avoid making an unsafe right turn. Most accidents take place during right turns, or five minutes before or after them, you know. But a number of left turns, strung together, can often take the place of a right turn. There we are. Now I just need to find a large enough spot to park. No, no, that's a bit too small. That one is all right but someone is behind me, so I don't want to keep them waiting. That one has a police officer too near it, and I don't want him watching me park. That one is fine, but I'm suspicious about why nobody is parked there.  Perhaps there is something wrong with it. I'm going to bypass it for now. There we are! Perfect*." (Chapter 5)

## Quotes about Hecuba

"*Hecuba McKraken drives extraordinarily slowly, with little attention paid to where the other cars on the road are. There are moments where you fear you might perish as she drifts gently through gaps between cars in a manner that seems to violate the principle that two solid objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time*." (Chapter 1)