Birthdays

**Birthdays** in Kentotra celebrated both the beginning of a person's life and the labor their mother endured to create it. Understanding how and why they were celebrated in this way teaches us much about how they viewed family dynamics and life.

## Traditions

As a person's birthday celebrated both them and their mother, the main custom was for each to exchange gifts to one another. Each person was expected to give a minimum of one gift, and they could do it at any time of day. Besides that, the two could spend their day however they pleased, whether that be separate or together, with their respective loved ones or alone, at a crowded party or a small dinner. Most non-essential workers even got their or their kids' birthdays off of work, and even essential workers were not chided for coming in late or leaving early.

A child was not expected to come up with their own gift for their mother until they reached school age, and even then they were not expected to spend money until they were employed in their adolescence or adulthood. Most gifts from young children included original charcoal drawings or clay sculptures. If they did spend their pocket money, it was often on something small such as an accessory or confection. The gifts would grow more personalized as the child aged and came to know their mother's interests better. A mother's gift to her child was typical of today's society: something related to the child's interests or a toy if they were still young. As both gifts were meant to be surprises, neither was expected to perfectly match the other's gift in terms of expense or grandeur, but it was painfully obvious when one person rushed their gift or otherwise put no thought or effort into it.

Of course, there were situations were a person did not have a mother to celebrate with for whatever reason. If their mother was deceased, they would leave a flower or other small gift by her memorial plaque before or after their own festivities. If they were estranged from, lost contact with, or otherwise didn't know their mother, they could choose to solely make the day about themselves or celebrate with another parental figure, such as their father or an orphanage caretaker. Especially in extreme cases, such as a foster child being liberated from an abusive household, they were under no obligation to celebrate their birthday with a parent who made no effort to care for them or tend to their bond. However, if either the mother or child sends a gift under any circumstances, the other party would be expected to reciprocate, even if it was only in a small way. The same standards applied to mothers, although the tragedy of losing a child was thankfully not as common as parent loss.

## Significance

Kentotrans viewed all relationships as a two-way street of sorts; each person had to put in equal effort to create a healthy dynamic. Only if one person was putting no effort in-- or worse, causing active harm-- was the other party socially allowed to cut ties. This idea extended to family relationships, even between parent and child. Of course, there was only so much a baby could do to reciprocate their parents' love, but they would be expected to do so later in life when they had the language and motor skills necessary. For most minors, this included helping with housework, obeying directions, showing proper manners... and of course, giving birthday gifts.

In the case of a mother and child, the first contribution to the bond is its creation itself: the birth of the child. While I have no wife nor children of my own, I have heard from my sisters-in-law of the traumatizing yet rewarding experience of biological motherhood. Creating a human with one's own body and then bringing them into the world are very special abilities indeed, and Kentotrans respected this careful process. Dedicating most of a year to creating a person and then spending the next two decades raising them by hand was a responsibility not taken lightly. Showing gratitude for one's creation and raising was a constant in Kentotran culture, whether it be to Klakelaya on Origins Day or one's own mother. Though they also had a minor "Parent's Day" holiday to celebrate both parents, birthdays were a way a person could thank their mother for all she's done for them and celebrate her for the woman she was. Likewise, a mother could show her own appreciation for her children's existence, love, and respect, even despite hardships endured while raising them.

## Trivia

* I asked the locals if the Aran'khutu were ever believed to have celebrated birthdays the same way as mortals. They confirmed that the gods supposedly recognized them with affectionate actions and words, but they did not engage in the gift-giving custom as their long life spans would result in a mountain of gifts piling up for each god and gift ideas running dry.
	+ In Go'Shrahd's case, as he was the only god with a mother but without a definite birth date, he supposedly celebrated his birthday on the anniversary of the beginning of time, a date no one is aware of but the gods themselves.
	+ In RoGathmu's case, as the motherless creation of a goddess, an older man guessed that he celebrated with Klakelaya just like her actual children. Their gifts to each other, if they even exchanged them, were likely edible to avoid clutter.
	+ Though Kotamotu both had no mother and was not a mother himself, his children were said to visit him on their birthdays to exchange affection.
	+ Jolakiet was said to have celebrated with her birth mother, but her other mother would plan and host joint festivities for them both. Even after her ascension, Jolakiet tried to make time on her birthdays to visit her mothers wherever their souls were.
		- The woman who told me this seemed wistful while she spoke. These poor people must really miss their gods. I'd love to tell her that her spirituality follows her wherever she goes, but I'm not sure if that'd be appropriate.