Mario.txt

Have you ever been afraid of the dark? When I was a child, I was frightened by what lived in the murky black. What kind of dangerous abominations would appear. But in time, like many other children, I realized that those were all in my head. That is until that fateful day. I was on eBay with the intention to buy stuff, and I found this SNES. "Cool," I thought. "I remember using this as a child." Along with the controller was a free copy of Super Mario World. It was only -$9001, what a bargain! I bought the controller and it was shipped to me 666 and a half hours later. The copy of Mario World was covered in blood. I put it in the cartridge. The intro was relatively different from the one I knew in my youth. The bright and happy letters of "SUPER MAYO WORL" were replaced with "OBJECTION!" written in black and in ŹALO TĘXT. Mario himself was different. Instead of vibrant red clothing, he wore a purple security uniform. His cap was replaced with a purple gnome hat, his skin was reddish-brown, and his eyes were a pale yellow. The sprite didn't look 16-bit. It looked too real for a Super Nintendo game, maybe even HYPER REALISTIC. I started up a new game. It skipped the intro scene and went to a world map. The only level available was entitled "Crappiest Day." A message popped up saying "SHIT ON ALL THE MUSHROOMS." Pressing the X key caused Mario to shit on the ground. But he had to be on top of a mushroom, and those shroom sprites were from Mario Bros 2. Since Mario could only pick up those, he shat on all of them. Then a bunch of Yoshi babies started eating it with their tongues. The babies then barfed out the shit and looked at Mario. The TV's brightness started to get darker, darker y3t d@rk3r. Some text then appeared. "HEY NOW, YOU'RE A KEEMSTAR." Then it all made sense. This man wasn't Mario. He was Killer Keemstar, the Gnome King. The world map gave a recently unlocked level called "WHO WAS PHONE?" The level was pitch black, and hyper realistic fire was crackling in the background. To my shock and horror, I found a bunch of Dry Bones lying broken on the floor. They left me be and said stuff like "Hopefully this Trollpasta won't get deleted" and "Eh, I could eat you, but I'd prefer a turkey sandwich." When all the skeletons popped out, Keemstario pulled off his hat to reveal Evil Patrixxx. The pink flesh started to eat the skeletons, stretching uncannily to grab bites. At the end of the level, there was a cave painting that depicted Cool Cat's head with 10 symbols floating around him. Keemstario said some dark incantations and then the picture started to glow red with hyper realistic red light. Cool Cat was summoned into the room. He was so hyper realistic that every single hair on his body was viewable. The game froze for a few seconds, but then cut to this text: XÒRGAŢH HAŚ REŢŲRNĘD Keemstario and Cool Cat violently joined their sprites together to form what I assume to be Xorgath. He had 1000 bloodshot eyes, humongous black talons on his fingers, and a hyper realistic maw filled with rows upon rows of yellow dagger-like teeth. His slit pupils focused on me, his snake tongue licking his "lips", and he was about to pounce and jumpscare me when he just gave me a dirty look. Out of that demonic mouth he hissed 4 words that would haunt my nightmares. ÁNIME WÀS Á MISTAĶE