Lost THX Tex Trailer: A Sega Boxset

Warning: The following story contains graphic violence that might not suitable to children. Viewer discretion is advised.

Buzz, Peter, Bruce, Teresa, Dave, Toppy, and I along with the eight kids accompanying us, went into the THX headquarters to try and find the boxset that would help us defeat Tex. It was a pretty neat place, but it looked a little rundown: They had a statue of Tex, which looked rusty. The Ferris wheel looked close to falling off. The merry-go-round looked like it would snap any minute. Basically, it had Poppy Playtime vibes.

"You know," said Peter. "This place has so many memories in it. Like, we used to go to the Hooter's in the food court every night and once a week, we would go to the Mermaid Lagoon to make out with the mermaids."

"So, basically, when you guys would go on a Boys Night Out, you would go to a place that has skanky women, then go cheat on your partners with mermaids?" asked Teresa.

"We had a life outside of work, you know," said Bruce.

"How did you work out the different species thing?" asked Toppy. "Wouldn't that technically count as bestiality?"

"It wasn't bestiality, Toppy," said Peter. "It was guys being guys."

At that moment, we saw a sign saying "This way to Mermaid Lagoon". Then, a boat appeared before us. But the problem was that it was big enough for one person. So, I decided that I'd go get the boxset.

"OK, guys," I said. "This boat is only big enough for one person. SO, I'll go into the Lagoon and get the boxset. You guys stand watch and make sure Tex and The Sinister Seven don't attack us. We meet here in one hour."

"OK," said everyone.

I got on the boat and it sailed away into the lagoon. I wasn't scared at this point. In fact, the boat ride was kind of fun. It gave me some It's a Small World vibes. Except, I was only going on this ride so I could get that boxset. So, really, the ride wasn't all that fun.

Anyways, I got to the middle of the Lagoon and I was ready to dive into the water and get that boxset. But right when I was about to jump in, three mermaids swam up to me.

"Hello, visitor," said the first mermaid, who had blond hair. "Welcome to the THX headquarters. What are you doing here today?"

"Well, I was trying to get the boxset that I heard was in here," I said.

"Boxset?" asked the second mermaid, who was black. "What boxset?"

"Apparently, there was a boxset here that could tell us how to defeat Tex," I said. "See, he's a psychopathic robot who's been killing innocent people and characters across the multiverse. More recently, he cracked open the multiverse and teamed up with the Sinister Six. So, that boxset could give us the answers."

"Well, what a coincidence!" said the third mermaid, who had red hair. "We have the boxset right here!"

The red haired mermaid pulled out the boxset from the water. This time, it was for Sega, and the characters on it included Sonic the Hedgehog, Tails, Knuckles, Adam Hunter, Axel Stone, Blaze Fielding, Earthworm Jim, Toejam, and Earl. I was so happy that the mermaids had the boxset.

"This is awesome!" I said, happily. "I thought I was gonna have to dive into the lagoon to get it! This is great! Just hand it over, let me watch it, and I'll return it later!"

"Oh, I'm afraid we can't do that," said the blond mermaid.

"What? Why not?" I asked.

"Because under our master, Tex, we have to kill you," said the black mermaid. "NOW TIME FOR SOME MERMAIDS TO DROWN A PRINCE!"

The three mermaids destroyed the boat I was in. I screamed as I fell into the lagoon. Then, the black mermaid grabbed my foot and dragged me under the water. I noticed that a chip was on her tail fin, meaning that Tex was controlling the mermaids. I tried to fight my way out of her grasp. But she had a good grip on me. Right when I was about to accept my fate, I saw a net go around me and the mermaid. The mermaid struggled to break free from the net, but to no avail. When the net reached the surface, I saw Toppy reeling it in. He also had the boxset in his hand.

"Toppy?!" I said in shock.

"Don't worry, Kadin," said Toppy. "I've got you. Grab the boxset, grab the mermaid, and let's vamoose!"

I nodded and complied with what Toppy said. The mermaid tried biting my hand to get back into the lagoon. But I was able to knock her out long enough to get out of there. Then, we all went into the movie theater to watch the boxset. But I knew I had to help the mermaid. So, I removed the chip that Tex had installed from her tail fin, and she grew legs. (You know, because mermaids become human on land.)

Anyways, she woke up and looked me directly in the eyes.

"What happened?" asked the mermaid.

"Tex was controlling you," I said, showing her the chip. "We had to try and save you."

"Thank you," said the mermaid. "The last thing I remember before being controlled was Tex putting me and my sisters in a net when the headquarters closed. Then, he put these things into us."

"I promise as soon as we defeat Tex, we will save your sisters," I said.

"Thanks," said the mermaid. "Let's start this whole thing over: Hi, I'm Oceanna."

"Oceanna, eh?" I said, amazed. "I'm Kadin, These are my friends: Dave, Toppy, Peter, Bruce, Buzz, and Teresa. Teresa also has eight kids, but I can't remember all their names."

"That's fine," said Oceanna.

"You know, I wanted to be a mermaid when I was younger," I said. "But then, I realized that you all were women. Not that there's anything wrong with being a woman. In fact, I have great respect for women."

"OK," said Oceanna, confused.

"Also, Halle Bailey was cast as Ariel in a live-action remake of The Little Mermaid," I said. "Yeah. That's awesome. It's about time for a black mermaid, you know?"

"Yeah," said Oceanna.

"Guys, this is no time to make friends!" yelled Teresa. "Right now, we need to find our answers! Let's watch this boxset!"

"OK," I said.

We put in the Sega boxset and the warning came up:

"Warning: The following trailer was made to promote Downfalls High, despite that film not being THX-certified. This trailer has graphic violence. Viewer discretion is advised."

"We need our answers," I said. "Here we go."

The trailer opened with the Green Hill Zone from Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, and Amy were running around, collecting rings as they went about. But at that moment, Tex sped up next to them.

"Hello there, speeding pests," said Tex.

"Listen here!" yelled Sonic. "We are not pests! We are regular animals!"

"Think about those people that you just murdered!" yelled Tails. "What were you thinking?!"

"Don't even think about killing us!" yelled Knuckles.

"If you do, we're gonna call the police and have you executed," added Amy.

"Oh, I'm not gonna kill you," said Tex. "He is."

At that moment, Sonic. Exe ran up to them as the Sonic Drowning theme started playing. The foursome screamed as he got closer and closer. Then, it faded to black and the sounds of screaming and blood splattering could be heard. Then, words popped up:

"You're no match for Sexy Texy! You wanna play again?"

But the trailer wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of space. Earthworm Jim was fighting aliens in order to save the planet. But at that moment, Tex flew in, riding on a giant bird.

"Hello, Wormy," said Tex. "Riddle me this: What loves to eat worms, has a beak, and flies?"

"Um, a bird," said Earthworm Jim. "Like the one you are riding right now?"

"Bingo!" said Tex.

"Don't you come near me, you psycho robot!" yelled Earthworm Jim. "If you kill me, I will use the Eternal Flame on you!"

"My weakness?" said Tex, with a nervous laugh. "I doubt you even have it. It's rare to find in the multiverse. Now, TIME TO FEED THE BIRDS WITH THE T-MAN!"

At that moment, the bird swooped up and swallowed Earthworm Jim, who screamed as he met his demise.

But the trailer wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of an alley at night. Blaze, Adam, and Axel were on night patrol, looking for bad guys to fight.

"Isn't this great, guys?!" said Blaze. "We're on night duty."

"You bet, Blaze," said Axel.

At that moment, Tex could be heard, punching away at the police.

"What was that?" asked Adam.

At that moment, Tex punched Blaze and Axel, who screamed as they met their fate. Adam screamed as he saw the robot punch his friends to death.

"Hello, fighter," said Tex. "Ready to die?"

"NO!" yelled Adam.

Tex punched Adam, killing him instantly.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of a forest. Earl and Toejam were having a marshmallow roast. At that moment, Tex appeared, with an acoustic guitar in his hands.

"Hello, giant foot and his friend," said Tex. "I came here to enjoy your sucky campout."

"The campout is really amazing," said Toejam. "You might enjoy it. Here, roast a marshmallow."

"Nah, I'm good," said Tex. "Anyways, what I love more than marshmallows is campfire songs."

Tex began playing his guitar. The song he was playing was Staring At The Sun by Post Malone. But as he was playing the song, he stabbed Toejam and Earl with the guitar. They screamed as they died of blood loss.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of the THX logo. Underneath it was the Sega logo, which was broken into two. Then, the deep note played. This time, the screams belonged to Sonic, Tails, Amy, Knuckles, Earthworm Jim, Earl, Toejam, and Blaze. After the deep note stopped, Tex gave his speech:

"Hello, Sega fans! Sexy Texy is at it again, killing characters for disrespecting my company! They can't defeat me, because they don't have the Eternal Flame! Here me out, viewers: If you are scared of me, the THX logo, or the Sinister Seven, we will find you and give you a big Tex's roll! Good night."

Tex flew away, laughing, as "The Audience is Listening" and "To be Continued..." appeared on the screen.

When they thought the trailer ended, it unfortunately wasn’t. Out of nowhere, a close up of Sonic.exe’s face appeared on the screen with an extremely loud version of his laugh, scaring the hell out of Toppy. Then the trailer ended for real. “I thought these stupid jumpscares weren’t being used anymore!” He said still shaking in fear.

"The Eternal Flame!" I said. "We need to try to find it! It's the only way to defeat Tex!"

"Well, where would it be?" asked Dave.

"According to my research, the Eternal Flame is at Rod The Ice Scream Man's ice cream parlor," said Toppy.

"But if Rod catches you, you'll become ice cream," said Peter.

"We have to try," I said.

At that moment, we heard Teresa screaming, while holding her belly. We raced over to see what was going on.

"It's the babies!" said Teresa, nervously. "They're coming!"

"Oh crap!" yelled Toppy. "We can find the Eternal Flame later! We need to take Teresa to a hospital! Now!"

We raced out of the THX headquarters, along with our new friend, Oceanna, to try and find a hospital for Teresa. But what we didn't know was that these babies would cause her demise and Tex would have something to do with it.

(To be continued.)