Demoknight Drunkman of Elderberries

**Drunkman of Elderberries** (オールダーベリー・ドリﾝクボイ *Orudaaberii Dorinkuboi*) is a knight who was on a quest to find wizards, maim them, get loot, never use 90% of it, show off, and get really wasted. Nowadays he just runs a bar, because he has to pay his student loans, and banks don't accept loot or gold.
He aids Brooding-Ninja-Highschool-Parkour-Scout from time to time by giving out information in exchange for Hell-Satan remains.

## History

Drunkman of Elderberries is known for his special beer cannon which he makes out of Hell-Satans. Drunkman has been to Ultra-Satan-Hell several times to fight Hell-Satans, wizards, giant zombies, and piss demons.

Drunkman wields the Reefer-edge and used to wield the Moonshine-Funtime. The Reefer-edge is a blade made from the dark magic of dressing like crap. Drunkman is always watched and protected by St. Heffi, Guardian Spirit of Business Lunch, whose church he patronizes (and who is the only one to do so).

Drunkman is also Demo Drunkenstein's cousin and the two despise each other. This is because long ago when they were children, Drunkman accidentally threw Drunkenstein's favorite family heirloom (a very old champagne bottle) into a marsh. Drunkenstein in a blind rage declared that Drunkman was not worthy of his own belongings and challenged Drunkman to a foam-noodle duel. Sadly, Drunkenstein brought a sandwich to a bottle fight and his foam-noodle was not made of foam, but rather made of paper, as a result he got several nasty cuts and had to be driven to the hospital to get stitched up.

While in the hospital Demo Drunkenstein wallowed in his newfound hate for Drunkman, despite the fact that an hour before Drunkman had found and returned Drunkenstein's heirloom unharmed as an apology. Drunkenstein then cursed Drunkman's name, then left to learn some dark art and to find a job. Not feeling guilty at all Drunkman for Drunkenstein's pettiness, he decided to go out and find his place in life by adventuring. Drunkman too had to find a job after a while.

## Personality

Drunkman is an easily agitated person who hates work. Drunkman is extremely brave while under the influence and has a tendency to get into fights with random people he sees. Drunkman also has a tendency to go on drinking binges where he goes slightly crazy.

## Daily Businesses

Drunkman runs his bar under his Amazing Apartment every day and makes a modest living. Drunkman also kicks Beefo out of his bar every day due to sanitation issues caused by him. In his off time, he stares into the middle distance at serving maids.

Despite the Scoutlings not being old enough to drink, he gets them royally plastered from time to time, Steven King Drinking Game-style, and he occasionally helps them fight Hell-Satans as well. On very rare occasions, Drunkman will write a haiku.

## Powers & Abilities

* *Drunken-Timebender-Casket-Room-Style* - Drunkman uses the energy from his Power Nuggets to consume many drinks at once in order to raise his blood alcohol level to unheard of proportions. This radically improves his perceptive powers, his reflexes, and his mental acuity so much that to the untrained eye it looks as though he is moving accelerated through time.
	+ These improvements stay active only so long as Drunkman maintains concentration on keeping the alcohol *in* his bloodstream and *out* of his brain. However, using this martial style in battle tends to go poorly for Drunkman, because instead of practicing his martial arts, he prefers using it to get drunk really fast.
* *Jumpman Drunkman*  – Drunkman jumps around the battlefield, sticking to walls like vomitous ooze. It's really gross to watch, actually.
* *The Reefer-Edge* – A powerful weapon that shoot dark fireballs that are in actuality just giant, half-solid, balls of moonshine, and elderberries that are on fire.
* *Truck punchline* – Trucks descend from the sky to flatten Drunkman's foes!
* *Beer Cannon* – A beer bottle launcher full of vodka and whiskey.
* *Float Summon* – Summons a float called Sapphire Queen who can distracts enemies with dances, then multiplies itself in various poses and sizes. Also time travel, because it just works.﻿ Drunkman almost never summons her.

## Haikus

* Sun shines through forest / Water flows through crystal streams / Volvo pls fix now
* Rockets in the air / Diverted by a madman / Betray their allies

## Trivia

* Sometimes St. Heffi eats ham with Beefo.
* Drunkman's basement is full of alcohol, some of which is so powerful the writers considered turning the basement into a plot device.
* Drunkman once spent 200,000 on fertilizer and was promptly arrested and waterboarded by the local police. After he was released he was arrested by the mob and waterboarded again.