Danganronpa: Despair's Reoccurrence/Chapter One

### [ Shuichi Saihara ]

“Are you *sure* you’re alright?” asked Shuichi for what must have been the ninetieth time.

“Yeah, Shuichi, I’m alright,” Kaede responded. “Really, it’s nothing. I don’t even have a concussion.”

Shuichi’s frown deepened as he looked at the blonde more carefully. “And you can really go back to your classes in that state?”

“In *what* state?” Kaede frowned, folding her arms. “I already *told* you, I’m perfectly fine. Besides, today’s Sunday, so we don’t have any classes ’till tomorrow.”

“Still, what if you have a head injury? *What if you’re bleeding from the brain?”* Shuichi worried profusely.

With a sigh, Kaede stopped walking and grabbed Shuichi’s arm. “Shuichi, I’m not going to *die* because of a little fight with Maki. So--”

“What does Maki have to do with this?”

*“SO,* please *stop worrying* about me. The nurse made *sure* I was absolutely okay before letting me leave. And besides, I still have to talk to Mr. Late Guy.”

“Who…?”

“Uhm, whatever his name was. Mr. Late Guy, Purple-Hair, Dude-Who-Made-Shuichi-Depressed….”

“He didn’t--” Shuichi began, but Kaede kept going.

“I didn’t get to talk to him. So, I’m gonna go do that now. Have fun doing… whatever you do when you’re bored.”

Shuichi sighed as he watched Kaede walk away. He *could* go to the library and look for a decent book… yeah, that was a good idea. Pulling out his E-Handbook, Shuichi checked the school’s map.

“What the heck?” he muttered. He hadn’t realized that the map showed where every student was. He could even see the little mark on the screen that resembled Kaede, slowly moving away from him. Shuichi looked over the map one last time before putting his E-Handbook away and turning around. The library was on the third floor, according to the map.

Because Shuichi took his time, six minutes passed before he reached the library. He had gone to the library earlier that day, and easily made his way through the winding aisles of books. He was looking for the mystery novels, wherever those were.

At least, he was looking for the mystery novels until he tripped over a very conveniently-placed stack of romance novels. Shuichi nearly faceplanted on the library floor, breaking his fall with his arms.

“What are you d-doing?” demanded a hostile voice. Shuichi quickly stood, brushing dust off his coat and turning around.

A girl whose brown hair was pulled into long braids stood there, fiddling with her hands as she glared at him through her round glasses. Shuichi immediately recognized her, as he had read the list of students before. “Do you r-really hate me that much?”

“What? No! I just tripped,” Shuichi explained awkwardly.

“D-DON’T TRY LYING TO ME!” shrieked Toko Fukawa, pointing an accusing finger at him. “I know you hate m-me! Otherwise you w-wouldn’t have shoved over my pile of b-books! You just can’t stand l-looking at me, can you?! I b-bet you’re thinking about how ugly I am right n-now!”

“No, no, that’s not it at all!” cried Shuichi, holding both hands up as he carefully backed away from Toko.

“Y-Yeah, *sure* it isn’t! You w-were probably hoping I’d die on the w-way here!”

“Dear God, of course I wasn’t!”

“L-Like I’d believe a jerk like *y-you!* I can s-see the contempt in your eyes!”

“C-Contempt?!”

“You r-really hate me SO much, d-don’t you?!”

“I--”

“Hey hey, what’s going on here?” a familiarly childish voice interrupted. Shuichi turned to see Kokichi peeking around a bookshelf, his E-Handbook in hand.

“Y-YOU TOO!” Toko screeched, gripping her hair. “I’ll just d-do you all a favor, then, and l-leave! It’s what you w-want, i-isn’t it?!”

“Toko, wait--” Shuichi began, but Toko had already disappeared. It was then that Shuichi realized that he had called a stranger, upperclassman, *and* girl by her first name. How insensitive of him.

There was a short silence before Kokichi tapped his fingers on the wooden bookshelf. “Well, *she’s* definitely a drama queen, too. How many of those do you think are here?”

Shuichi paused, turning back to Kokichi. “Hang on… isn’t Kaede looking for you?”

“Who’s Kai-Yay-Day?” asked Kokichi innocently.

“Her name is Kaede,” Shuichi clarified. “She wants to talk to you about… something, and she’s been trying to find you since this morning.”

“Wow, she sounds so determined! It’s a shame that I have no idea who that is. I don’t even think I’ve ever seen her in my life.”

Shuichi thought for a moment before remembering something. Without really realizing what he was doing, he suddenly exclaimed loudly, “No, that’s wrong!”

Kokichi blinked. “What’s wrong?”

“Kaede blacked out in the hallway after fighting someone -- probably Maki, considering what she’d told me,” explained Shuichi thoughtfully. “When I went to visit her in the nurse’s office, I saw you leaving. And I heard Miu saying that Maki had detention for trying to strangle you. Knowing Kaede, she would never purposely fight someone without a good reason to. And from the evidence, I can conclude that Kaede probably tried to stop Maki from strangling you. Which means you *had* seen her before, because she saved your life.”

An extremely long silence followed Shuichi’s words, until Kokichi said with an almost emotionless expression, “You’re really smart, Shuichi.”

“Oh. Um. Thanks.” Shuichi scratched the back of his head, having not expected the sudden compliment. “But… why would you say that?”

“You weren’t there, but you still figured out how it happened by just looking at a couple details. It takes someone really smart to put something like that together, piece-by-piece, like a jigsaw puzzle.”

“I-I’m sure you could’ve figured it out just as easily,” muttered Shuichi, downright embarrassed at this point.

A beat of silence passed before Kokichi smirked. *“Wow,* you’re so gullible! I was lying about all of that, Shuichi-chan! Which means I won’t be contradicting what I just said by mentioning how dumb you are!” He giggled, though it almost sounded forced. Kokichi’s smirk didn’t reach his eyes, and for a moment, Shuichi thought he saw the Ultimate Supreme Leader sweat.

“A-Also-! Learn to take a compliment properly! I dunno how you function around your girlfriend, but the way you are now, I’m surprised you even have one! Not like she’ll stick around for much longer!”

“Wait, what? I don’t have a--”

Shuichi stopped talking. After Kokichi finished his sentence, he turned and ran away at the speed of light.

He frowned, choosing to ignore the “girlfriend” comment. It bothered him how tense Kokichi had looked, while earlier, it seemed so easy for him to lie to others. And that wasn’t even mentioning Kokichi’s blank expression while he had just been “lying” to Shuichi.

Shuichi sighed. Whatever… it didn’t matter. This wasn’t a murder case or anything. It was just his new high school life.

### [ Sayaka Maizono ]

“Heh! You’re so funny, Makoto!” Sayaka said, playing with a strand of her dark blue hair.

“So are you,” muttered Makoto, scratching the back of his neck.

“Not as much as *you,”* Sayaka shot back.

“I-”

“If you two are quite done *flirting,”* said Byakuya, interrupting whatever Makoto was saying. “The student council meeting is in two minutes.”

“Another student council meeting? Already?” asked Sayaka. “Today doesn’t even have classes.”

Byakuya sighed, folding his arms, as though explaining were a great inconvenience to him. “Apparently, one student attacked another. Taka wants to hold a meeting to ‘discuss the current situation’, then go looking for new student council members.”

Sayaka sighed. “Well… there’s no reason to keep Taka waiting. Go on, you two. We can hang out some other time.”

Byakuya’s expression told her that “hanging out” was the *last* thing he wanted to do. As he walked out the door, he added over his shoulder, “I’d rather take my chances with Toko.”

Sayaka blinked as Makoto followed Byakuya. She knew she shouldn’t be offended -- Byakuya was just Byakuya, and nothing was going to change that.

The student council was obviously something that Taka had made. When he created the club, back in their second year, he insisted that “someone had to keep order”. Sayaka was lucky enough to avoid Taka when he enlisted his friends to the student council, but some of her other friends weren’t quite as lucky -- Makoto, Byakuya, Celeste, Kyoko, Aoi, Leon, and Mondo were all part of the student council.

*Well, I’m not accomplishing anything by just standing here,* thought Sayaka as she glanced around the rec room. Then she opened the door, which Makoto had closed behind him, and stepped into the hallway.

She froze, hearing a sudden stream of swear words.

“Fuyuhiko, you are not allowed to say words like that here,” said a slightly mature-sounding, female voice.

“Well, whatever!” exclaimed a second, masculine voice, following his words with more swearing. Sayaka recognized these two voices almost immediately.

“Peko? Fuyuhiko?” She rounded the corner.

Standing in the hallway was Fuyuhiko, Peko behind him as he stared down a boy with avocado-green hair. Sayaka recognized the green-haired boy as well -- as Rantaro Amami. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Are you blind?! This” --Fuyuhiko said a considerably bad swear word, pointing a finger at Rantaro-- “is what’s wrong!”

“Hey, I’d just like to say, I did nothing,” said Rantaro, raising his hands in a passive manner. Fuyuhiko only glared harder at him.

“Umm… I’m not very sure what’s happening right now, but why don’t you three go your own separate ways?” Sayaka suggested, trying desperately to end the argument peacefully. To her dismay, Fuyuhiko scoffed at her, though he didn’t say anything. However, Peko’s expression hardened.

“I will go wherever Fuyuhiko goes,” she stated calmly, though she had a determined gleam in her red eyes. Sayaka didn’t have the nerve to defy Peko’s words, and nodded quickly.

“That’s okay. Now, Rantaro--”

As Sayaka turned away from Peko, she came to the realization that Rantaro had already left. She frowned, slightly disappointed that she hadn’t entirely settled the disagreement, though it was still better than the students starting an all-out brawl right in front of her.

“SAYAKA!”

Sayaka jumped, whirling around. Taka was walking toward her, clapping his hands.

“T-Taka?” she asked, surprised. “I thought you were in a meeting with the others.”

“We finished,” explained Taka briefly. “Anyway! The way you diffused the tension in that situation… Truly impressive, Sayaka!”

“Does this guy even *have* a brain?” muttered Fuyuhiko. Peko replied in a low voice, much too low for Sayaka to understand what she said, and walked away. Fuyuhiko shot a last malicious glare at Taka before following her.

“So… what were you trying to say?” Sayaka asked.

“The student council always needs more members!” exclaimed Taka, to Sayaka’s horror. “You would be a perfect new candidate! Now, come with me, Sayaka!”

Sayaka didn’t want to become part of the student council, but it wasn’t like she had a choice. With a long-suffering sigh, and regretting all her life decisions that lead up to this point, Sayaka followed Taka to the student council room.

This was probably going to take a while.

### [ Mahiru Koizumi ]

“Whaaat? What do you mean, ‘wait’?” whined Hiyoko as she flung her arms around, the long sleeves of her kimono flapping wildly. “I don’t wanna wait!”

“I do apologize!” exclaimed a voice from the other side of the door. There was a loud thumping noise, as though something had been knocked over, followed by an  “Oh, dang it!”. After a couple moments, the door swung open.

“I am so very sorry!” cried Sonia as she shut her bedroom door behind her.

“Didn’t you already say that, like, a billion times?” snickered Hiyoko.

“It’s fine,” said Mahiru, ignoring Hiyoko. “Your roommate's still Peko-chan, right?”

Sonia nodded. “I was simply moving my belongings to my side of the room. Now, allow us to continue forth on our journey!”

“Why’d we have to bring her again?” Hiyoko asked Mahiru in a loud stage whisper. To her probable disappointment, Sonia didn’t seem to hear her.

“Because Sonia-chan’s our friend,” responded Mahiru.

Hiyoko raised her eyebrows, giving Mahiru a *“She is?”* look.

“So, they changed up our rooms, right?” said Mahiru, trying to spark some sort of conversation as they walked down the halls. “And some of us will have different roommates, too.”

“You and Hiyoko are still roommates though, are you not?” asked Sonia.

“Yep!” cried Hiyoko, popping the “p”.

“That is very good to hear,” Sonia said sincerely. “It would be very upsetting if two close friends, such as you two, were separated.”

Hiyoko rolled her eyes. “Psshh! We’d still be able to see each other!”

“Indeed. But sometimes, the most bond-strengthening moments happen at nighttime.”

Mahiru raised her eyebrows at Sonia’s words. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, nothing important! Where are we going, again?”

“I want you to meet a new friend of mine,” Mahiru replied. “She’s a first year, and I think you two would get along.”

Snickering behind her hand, Hiyoko added, “You’re probably her only friend, Mahiru!”

Mahiru frowned. “No, she seems to get along with Kirumi and Kaede just fine.”

“Who are we talking about, exactly?” asked Sonia in confusion.

“Tenko Chabashira, *duh!”* Hiyoko snapped.

“Oh, I see. I have not heard much about her,” Sonia said. “You believe she and I would become good friends, Mahiru?”

“I don’t see why you wouldn’t,” said Mahiru with a shrug.

Sonia smiled, though there was the determined gleam in her eyes that only the Ultimate Princess could have. “Well then, off we shall go! To find Tenko!”

She continued down the hall at a much quicker pace. Mahiru and Hiyoko exchanged glances -- one surprised and slightly relieved, the other irritated and teasing -- before rushing after her.

### [ Aoi Asahina ]

Yes! Finally, it was Aoi’s chance to *really* meet the new students! She’d been waiting for an opportunity like this ever since she’d walked through the doors of Hope’s Peak Academy, but she’d gotten so occupied with her friends that she’d entirely forgotten.

However, she wasn’t alone. Beside her, her two newest friends talked, one bright and eccentrically, the other slightly sleepily.

“This is really exciting, isn’t it?” asked Aoi.

“Totally, absolutely, *one-hundred percent* exciting!” Ibuki exclaimed, making a V-sign with two of her fingers as she winked. “Ibuki can’t wait!”

“Hajime talked to one of them earlier. A robot… I think,” said Chiaki. “And Mikan found three of them after they were fighting. She helped them.”

“Hold on, what?” Aoi stopped, turning to face Chiaki. “They were fighting? Did they get hurt?”

Chiaki paused, thinking. “Well… one of them almost got strangled, but he’s okay now, I think. The one who tried to kill him didn’t have any injuries. The one who stopped her from killing him hit her head on the floor, but she’s fine now, too… probably.”

Aoi frowned. “That’s not good at all! I didn’t think they’d be violent.”

“As far as I’ve heard, only one new student’s violent!” Ibuki jumped in. Aoi noticed how she didn’t refer to herself in third-person this time -- maybe Ibuki didn’t always refer to herself in third-person, but it was just a very common habit.

“Her title’s the Ultimate Assassin, I think,” said Chiaki.

*Ultimate Assassin… yikes. That’s… Maki Harukawa, right?*

They continued down the halls for a while, Ibuki humming while Chiaki turned on her game console. Aoi checked her E-Handbook, looking for an icon of a new student. Soon, she found some reasonably near them.

“Hey, guys. Shuichi Saihara and Kirumi Tojo are in the library, K1-B0 and Kokichi Oma are in the warehouse, and Himiko Yumeno and Tenko Chabashira are in the gym. All of those are really close to the staircase, and we’re near it right now. If we go to the next floor, we can meet two of them.”

“How about Kirumi and Tenko, then?” asked Ibuki.

“Um… I mean, two of them in one specific room. We can’t split ourselves in half.”

Ibuki’s eyes widened. “We *can’t?!”*

“Why don’t we just split up?” suggested Chiaki without taking her eyes off her game. “That’s a more logical idea, I think. And we can just tell each other what they’re like when we rejoin.”

“Oh, yeah, that *is* a good idea!” Aoi glanced around at her friends. “Who wants to meet who?”

“I can go to the library,” Chiaki volunteered. “I’ll probably be the least likely to trip over a pile of books.”

“The gym’s where instruments are, right?!” exclaimed Ibuki. “Ibuki will go there, then! Ibuki was looking for some instruments!”

Before Aoi could correct her, Ibuki ran off down the hall, shouting more third-person nonsense over her shoulder.

“I guess I’ll go to the warehouse, then,” Aoi concluded.

Chiaki nodded. “I’ll see you soon… probably.”

As Chiaki followed Ibuki to the staircase, Aoi checked her E-Handbook again. Ibuki and Chiaki were both going upstairs, while the warehouse was in the basement. Oh well, it was only one extra flight of stairs downward. She slid her E-Handbook back into her jacket’s pocket and practically ran down the stairs, jumping down the last three as she reached the basement.

...Huh, it *smelled.* Not bad, exactly. It just had that sort of “unused” smell, as though nobody had been there for a long time.

Oh well, no matter. It didn’t bother her much, and besides, the warehouse and basement were basically the same thing. She grabbed the handle of the thick, heavy metal door and shoved it open.

“That’s robophobic!” a voice immediately exclaimed.

“Robophobic? Is that some made-up word by creatures with half-human intelligence?”

“Stop it! I have recorders installed, and if you continue with these robophobic remarks, I will see you in court!”

“Court? You’re *suing* me? Wow, too bad you have nothing to do with the money, ’cause you’re just a robot and can’t do anything with it.”

“That’s robophobic, too!”

“No, it isn’t. ‘Phobia’ means fear, and I’m *definitely* not scared of some electronically-powered hunk of metal like you.”

“Hey! That isn’t true! I’m just the same as you and everyone else here!”

Aoi slowly walked into the warehouse, following the arguing voices. One sounded slightly mechanical, the other somewhat high-pitched, and both male. Then she stopped.

*Huh?*

Standing behind a shelf were two boys. At least, she *thought* they were boys -- one wore almost humanly-impossible-to-wear clothing, while the other was much shorter than Aoi. The first had white hair with a rather large ahoge, while the purple-haired boy played with his chessboard-patterned scarf.

“Well, if you *insist* you’re just like me,” said the purple-haired boy (Aoi checked her E-Handbook quickly -- his name was Kokichi Oma, apparently. Right -- he was the late guy, wasn’t he?), “then do you have a d--”

“Hey, hey! Why are you two fighting?” Aoi exclaimed.

“Fighting? We aren’t fighting,” said Kokichi innocently. “We’re best friends, you know.”

This was coming from the student who publicly announced to the entire school that he was a liar.

“He is harassing me!” exclaimed the white-haired boy (giving her E-Handbook another quick glance, Aoi quickly confirmed him as K1-B0 -- the robot!).

“What? No I’m not,” Kokichi said. “That’s a mean thing to accuse someone of!”

“Where is the security?” asked K1-B0 formally, looking directly at Aoi.

“Uhm… I don’t think this school *has* security,” Aoi mumbled. “At least, it hasn’t for the last two years I’ve been here. It isn’t a mall or anything like that.”

“You were gonna call *security* on me?” asked Kokichi.

“Then where is the student council?” K1-B0 continued, ignoring Kokichi.

“Well, uh… I’m a student council member.”

“Good! Can you give him detention?”

“Erm… I’d have to ask Taka first.”

Kokichi, seemingly desperate for attention at this point, yelled, “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHIIIING!”

“I still have my recorders on!” K1-B0 stated. “You were harassing me about my physiology!”

“No I wasn’t,” Kokichi responded immediately. After he noticed the disbelieving stare Aoi shot at him, he quickly added, *“You* were harassing *me!”*

“What?” exclaimed K1-B0.

“Yeah, don’t try to deny it!” cried Kokichi. “You were saying all that stuff about how you were better than me ’cause you were ‘different’! And that you automatically win by default against any human in a physical race ’cause you electronically recharge and can’t feel fatigue! And! *And!* I’m defending the entire human race every time I talk to you!”

Aoi sighed, turning back to K1-B0. “I’ll… ask Taka about that detention.”

### [ Peko Pekoyama ]

Years. Years and years had passed since Peko met Fuyuhiko. She had known him for so long that… she couldn’t imagine life without him. After the Kuzuryu Clan adopted her, she had made it a goal of hers to be as useful to Fuyuhiko as she possibly could be. It was the least she could do, considering everything his family had done for her.

She wanted to be the most useful tool Fuyuhiko could have asked for. Or a bodyguard, if that were what he wanted. Their relationship was nothing special, anyway. He was so much more *above* Peko, and she understood this well. As she had her own separate Ultimate talent, she and Fuyuhiko could appear to not even *know* each other.

He’d even told her upon arriving at Hope’s Peak Academy, one year ago… their relationship here was nothing professional anymore. He wanted her to… “socialize” and “make friends”. That was the command her young master had issued, and she had to fulfill it.

But their relationship was *nothing more than professional.*

...So why did Peko feel this way?

She was nothing more than a tool, and she knew this well. It had been so ever since she was an infant. And yet… sometimes, in the dead of the night, Peko couldn’t help but wish she were *more* than just a tool to Fuyuhiko. It was such a silly fantasy of hers, something she knew could never come true, but strangely, she couldn’t help herself from imagining it. A world where her parents had never abandoned her, and she was raised to act like these other oblivious and carefree high school girls. Of course, she knew she would never have known Fuyuhiko then -- she was only titled as the Ultimate Swordswoman because of the training that the Kuzuryu Clan put her through. But what if she were… like these other girls? What if she knew Fuyuhiko in a… how did he put it… “unprofessional” manner? What if she were his… *frie--*

*CRASH.* Something suddenly slammed into Peko, catching her off-guard as she was knocked into a locker.

“HEY! Watch where you’re going, you bi--!”

“Nyeh? What?”

Peko slowly regained her composure, stepping away from the locker as she rubbed her head. She’d already lost her original train of thought, but it didn’t matter -- whatever she had been thinking, it must have not been fit for a mere tool’s mind, and the universe sent an obstacle to perish the thought.

But… on the contrary, the person who had knocked her *into* the locker seemed to be one of the new students. The student was shockingly small, her bright red hair mostly concealed beneath a considerably large witch’s hat.

“You just shoved Peko into a freaking wall!” Fuyuhiko shouted, raising his fist. “Now you’d better apologize!”

“Calm down, Fuyuhiko,” said Peko. “You must keep your anger in check, remember? I do not want you to get in trouble here… certainly not on my behalf.”

“Yeah, I know,” muttered Fuyuhiko. As he turned back to the freshman, he said in a considerably calmer (though still shaking with fury) tone, “Are you gonna apologize or what?”

“Nyeh… what a pain,” the girl muttered, yawning widely. “I’m tired... I’mma go back to my room….”

“HEY! I’M STILL TALKING TO YOU!” roared Fuyuhiko. “DON’T MAKE ME FREAKIN’ HIT YOU!”

The girl blinked slowly. “What a pain…” she repeated. Her voice was slow and high-pitched, as though she were half-asleep. “What did you want me to do?”

Fuyuhiko furiously said a sentence containing quite a bit of swear words.

“Oh, I pushed you into the locker?” the freshman girl caught on, looking directly at Peko. “Nyeh… I’m sorry, then….”

“It is okay,” Peko responded.

Yawning again, the girl walked past Peko and in the direction of the dormitories.

“Are you okay?” Fuyuhiko asked after a pause.

Peko glanced at him. “I am fine.”

It was normal for one to make sure their tools were still working. If their tools were broken, they could not be used and had to be thrown out to make room for a new tool.

“I can’t believe that girl,” Fuyuhiko went on, starting down the halls again. Peko readjusted the bamboo sword that hung around her shoulder and followed him.

“She simply recognized me as what I am,” Peko stated calmly.

Fuyuhiko stopped, turning to face Peko entirely. “Peko, I swear to God. How many times do I have to *tell* you? *You aren’t my ‘tool’.* You aren’t *anyone’s* tool, actually. Not mine, not the Kuzuryu Clan’s, not this school’s. If you’re gonna take one order from me, it’s *stop trying to be my tool.”*

Peko frowned. This wasn’t the first time her young master ordered her to do such a thing… but naturally, she could not comply with his wishes. Despite her hardest attempts to prove useful to him, he still was not satisfied. What more could she do to please him, she often wondered. What was *left* for her to do?

“...Peko?”

She blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. “Yes, young master?”

Fuyuhiko sighed heavily, staring directly into her eyes. “Were you even listening?”

“Yes, I believe so. If I missed something, I do apologize in advance.”

Her young master was silent for a long moment before sighing again. “I still don’t get why you think you have to be my ‘tool’. What do you think you can even *do* as a tool? What can you do as a tool that you *can't* do as a normal person?”

Peko blinked again, much more slowly this time. “Young master, you are acting uncharacteristically deep. Shall I bring you to the nurse’s office?”

“I--” Whatever Fuyuhiko was going to say, he clearly changed his mind, scrapping the thought. “No. I’m fine.”

And the two of them continued down the hallways. They both knew they’d traversed the entire school easily twice already, though neither of them cared. It was Fuyuhiko’s way of clearing his thoughts, and, even as a tool, it was Peko’s as well.

### [ Hiyoko Saionji ]

*Ugh!* Everyone was just so *boring!* Hiyoko couldn’t stand all the total boringness and stupidity of standing around, doing nothing but *waiting* and *talking* literally *ALL. DAY. LONG.*

And that was *before* mentioning all the things happening today that sounded like they were straight out of some cliche anime plot.

So now, Hiyoko was sitting in the courtyard, squishing Mr. Ants. “Squish, squish!” she sang to herself. “Squish!”

“What are you doing?” a voice asked behind her.

Irritation flared up inside her -- another random person who wanted to ruin her fun?! She’d just escaped some super-duper boring conversation that involved Ten-Crow Scab-a-Shear-a or whatever the heck her name was.

“Squishing Mr. Ants, *duh!”* she snapped. She didn’t care if she sounded mean -- whoever this person was, *they deserved it.*

“Mr. Ants?”

*And they totally had a girl’s voice.*

“Jeez, are you *stupid* or something?” demanded Hiyoko, finally turning to glare at the newfound idiot speaking to her.

...Oh. It was *that* newfound idiot. The totally late guy who everyone kept talking to while insisting how much they disliked him. *So* lame and boring. *YAWN.*

“Is it hurting them?” the newfound idiot asked. Hmm… what to call him, what to call him…. *Oh, I got it! Mr. Chess Scarf!*

Of course, Hiyoko could’ve come up with a much better nickname if she wanted to. But why bother spending that much time and energy on someone she didn’t even *care about* in the first place?

“Maybe, I don’t know,” Hiyoko replied. She turned away from Mr. Chess Scarf to look for more Mr. Ants.

To her somewhat surprise, Mr. Chess Scarf sat down beside her. “Well, that doesn’t sound as boring as everything else here!”

Hiyoko raised her eyebrows. “Huh? You mean *you* think they’re boring, too?”

“Everyone I’ve met is *super boring* -- *especially* Shuichi-chan.”

Was Mr. Chess Scarf calling *Mahiru* boring, too? Hiyoko wasn’t sure whether they had met, though, so she chose not to mention it. “Who the heck is Shuichi-chan?” she asked instead, finally finding Mr. Ants again. *Squish, squish!*

“Wow, you don’t know? He’s the most boring and most ugly guy here,” said Mr. Chess Scarf with a giggle. “Everyone hates him, even his girlfriend. It’s only a matter of time ’til she breaks up with him.”

“How’d he even get a girlfriend in the first place?”

“No idea. Maybe he blackmailed her.”

Hiyoko stopped squishing a Mr. Ant to look at Mr. Chess Scarf again. *“Blackmailed?”*

“Yep, blackmailed. Maybe he took pictures of her in the shower, or got some panty shots and threatened to post them online.”

Hiyoko tilted her head. “That doesn’t sound too boring, though,” she observed.

“Yeah, well, that’s literally *all* he did. Now, he just watches paint dry as a hobby and literally contemplates the meaning of life *out loud.”*

Hiyoko gasped. *“Out loud?!”*

Mr. Chess Scarf nodded gravely. *“Out loud,”* he confirmed. “It’s awful to be in a room with him, even for just three seconds.”

“I gotta warn Mahiru!” Hiyoko realized. “What if he picked to blackmail *her* as his next girlfriend-victim?! That would be *awful!”* She pulled out her E-Handbook. “I have to know where they both are right now! What’s his name?”

Mr. Chess Scarf thought for a moment. “Kaito Momota.”

“Huh…? I thought you called him ‘Shuichi-chan’ earlier.”

“Did I? Nishishi… my mistake.”

Hiyoko furrowed her eyebrows, but continued to check Kaito Momota’s whereabouts. She gasped, nearly dropping her E-Handbook in shock.

“He’s *in the same room with her!”* she cried.

“Where?” exclaimed Mr. Chess Scarf in alarm.

*“Right in front of the GIRLS’ BATHROOM!”*

Mr. Chess Scarf stood. “We’d better go stop him! He usually corners girls in front of bathrooms before forcing them to become his girlfriend!”

Hiyoko jumped up as well, brushing dirt off her orange kimono before pausing. “Hey, am I taller than you?”

Mr. Chess Scarf blinked. “Huh. I guess you are.”

“Hah! I’m taller than a *boy!* I can’t wait to tell Mahiru!” Hiyoko smirked, but her triumphant expression quickly vanished as she remembered the situation. “Okay, let’s go!”

She raced across the courtyard, hearing Mr. Chess Scarf following her, and ran all the way back to the school. She continued in a pace very similar to this throughout the school, up several flights of stairs, until she reached the third floor.

“She’s around here,” said Hiyoko. She checked her E-Handbook again before leading the way down the hallway. Then she saw them.

“MAHIRUUU!” she cried, running at full-speed toward the redhead. Mahiru turned around milisections before Hiyoko slammed into her, wrapping her arms around her.

“H-Hiyoko? What’s wrong?” asked Mahiru.

“There’s some big scary guy who’s gonna blackmail you into making you his girlfriend!” Hiyoko explained, sniffling. “A-And I didn’t think I would find y-you in time….”

Mahiru smiled weakly. “Uh, right…. Who’s this ‘big scary guy’, exactly?”

“Kaiko M-Mamata.”

“...Do you mean Kaito Momota?”

Hiyoko nodded, finally stepping away from Mahiru. “H-He’s gonna blackmail you, Mahiru! You gotta stop him before he finds you!”

“Hiyoko-chan… I already talked to him.”

“EEEEH?!” Hiyoko’s eyes widened. “Y-YOU MEAN-?! YOU’RE HIS G-GIRLFRIEND NOW?! WHAT PICTURES DID HE TAKE?! W-WE GOTTA REPORT HIM TO THE PRINCIPAL!”

Mahiru ran a hand through her red hair. “He didn’t blackmail me, and I’m not his girlfriend,” she said. “Who told you that?”

“Mr. Chess Scarf!” Hiyoko turned, pointing at-- hang on, where’d Mr. Chess Scarf go?!

“Mr…. Chess Scarf…?” echoed Mahiru.

“Hang on!” Annoyed, Hiyoko checked her E-Handbook. After a moment, she darted into the library, which was very close to the restrooms. As she did so, she saw purple hair quickly duck around the side of a bookcase.

“HEY! Mr. Chess Scarf! Where’re you going?!” Hiyoko darted behind the bookshelf, grabbing the purple hair.

“K-KYAAA-!” wailed Mikan. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! P-Please let go!”

“Huh?” Hiyoko, quite begrudgingly, let go of Mikan. In any other situation, she would have been ecstatic to have successfully pulled Mikan’s hair. “The map said Mr. Chess Scarf was here, not smelly pig breath like *you.”*

“I-I’m sorry for being smelly pig barf!” Mikan cried.

“I said *breath*, get it right,” muttered Hiyoko, checking her E-Handbook again. “But it says… it says Mr. Chess Scarf is right here… and *you’re* on a-- Hold on what?”

She turned, and, sure enough, Mr. Chess Scarf was sitting on the bookshelf behind her.

“It’s a lie!” he exclaimed.

“What the heck?” she cried. “How did you break my E-Handbook?!”

“What do you mean? I didn’t break your E-Handbook.”

Hiyoko scowled, looking closely at it. “Wait, who’s Cocky Iruma?!”

“H-Huh? But isn’t Iruma…?” asked Mikan. Hiyoko ignored her.

“Aww, you figured it out?” Mr. Chess Scarf asked, looking disappointed. “Well, in that case, you can have your E-Handbook back. It smells like pig feet, anyway.” He tossed an E-Handbook at her, and it slammed into her forehead.

“Ow! Rude! I’m not giving *yours* back!”

“That’s not mine, it’s Kee-Boy’s,” replied Mr. Chess Scarf. “I took it from him when I was chasing him!” He giggled.

“You’re the worst!” Hiyoko snapped. “Where’d Mahiru go, anyway?!”

“You left her unguarded for too long,” Mr. Chess Scarf said cheerfully. “Momota must’ve caught her by now.”

“Or is that a lie, too?” cried Hiyoko. “I heard what you said! ‘It’s a lie’!”

“Well… if I told you, would you even believe me?”

“Why wouldn’t I? Other than you being a total di--”

“Y’know, ’cause I’m a liar,” interrupted Mr. Chess Scarf, giggling again.

Hiyoko narrowed her eyes. Hadn’t Mahiru told her about one of the new students being a liar…?

*Ugh! How could I be so* stupid*?! Of* course *he’s lying!*

“You’re Kokichi Oma, then,” concluded Hiyoko, glaring at him. “You jerk! I really thought Mahiru was in danger!”

“Then it’s your fault for being so gullible,” Mr. Chess Scarf responded annoyingly. “Nishishi… maybe you *should* go check on Mahiru-chan. You never know what trouble she could be in!”

“Shut *up,* Mahiru isn’t *in* any trouble! Besides, why d’you think I’d believe some dirty, boring liar like *you?!”*

As these words escaped Hiyoko’s mouth, Mr. Chess Scarf’s playful expression vanished.

“You think I’m… boring?”

“Duh! Of course I do, why else would I have said it? I don’t *lie.”*

“Well… I’ll tell you the truth, just this once. I think you’re boring, too. You’re probably that character from a video game who would die after having barely any character development.”

“E-Eh?! You sound like *Chiaki!”*

“Whether I sound like Chicken Teriyaki or not, it doesn’t change the truth,” said Mr. Chess Scarf, sliding off the bookshelf. Again, Hiyoko noted that she was still taller than him.

Hiyoko scowled. “Chiaki’s boring, too. And I don’t even *believe* you. Plus, Mahiru would protect me if I were in a video game! So shut up and go die in a hole, you jerkface!”

“Oh, okay! I’ll go do that right now!” And without another word, Mr. Chess Scarf ran out of the room.

“U-Um…!” Mikan finally stammered.

“Oh, you’re still here. You’re so unimportant, I completely forgot you existed. Why’d you have to remind me?”

“I’m sorry!” cried Mikan.

“Yeah, you’d better be. You smell like a dead pigeon.”

Hiyoko turned and walked out of the room, ignoring Mikan’s rushed apologies.

“That was such a waste of time,” muttered Hiyoko. “Whatever, I’ll just go find another Mr. Ant--”

“Hey! No! Get back here!”

Hiyoko turned around to see another one of those freshmen -- Kaede Akamatsu, right? -- facing the open door of the gym.

“Kokichi, I have to talk to you,” said Kaede. “Please stop trying to run away. I’m not going to kill you or something.”

Hiyoko snickered behind her hand. *He’s gonna get lectured? That’s called karma, Mr. Chess Scarf!* Still giggling to herself, Hiyoko turned away and continued down the hall. Time to squish more Mr. Ants!

### [ Tsumugi Shirogane ]

...Something was wrong.

She… didn’t know what, exactly. She just knew something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Tsumugi stood in the center of her room, holding her suitcase in both hands as she looked around. *But… weren’t we supposed to have only* one *roommate?*

Apparently, she’d read the online forum wrong. Three beds were in the room, each lacking sheets and pillows. Just… three plain mattresses. Clearly, she and her roommates were supposed to have brought their own bedding.

Sighing slightly, Tsumugi crossed the room and placed her suitcase on the ground. She wasn’t sure whose bed was whose, and she didn’t want to take someone else’s bed. Luckily, she’d already gotten a list of each student and their roommate… or, in her case, roommates. Which meant she just had to find her plain name among the other students’ unique names….

As Tsumugi’s eyes darted over the paper, she chuckled slightly to herself. The fact that she was sharing her room with not one, but *two* students… it reminded her of some bad writing out of an unoriginal anime. What if one of them were a *boy?!*

Finally, she found her own name on the list.

*Kaede Akamatsu / Tsumugi Shirogane / Miu Iruma*

So she was right… She did have two roommates. That was… considerably strange. There had to be a reason why. Besides, if there were an equal amount of boys and girls in her year, then wouldn’t that mean someone else had two roommates, as well?

Tsumugi folded the paper and slid it back in her pocket, then walked toward the bed in the far left of the room. If someone had claimed this bed, then they would have already put their belongings away, right? Tsumugi pulled open the bedside table’s drawers and was greeted with…

...Absolutely nothing. It was empty. She closed the drawers and moved onto the middle bed’s table, where she saw several music books. Then she opened the bedside table’s drawers on the far right.

*...Oh, dear God.* Tsumugi quickly shoved the drawer shut, wishing she’d closed her eyes. *I did* not *need to see that.*

But, on a lighter note, she certainly knew whose bed was whose. She returned to the bed on the far left and emptied her suitcase there, placing several anime figures and nendoroids on the bedside table.

Then she remembered. She hadn’t brought any bedding. She’d assumed that the school would supply this, but apparently, the headmaster simply wanted the students to make their dorm rooms feel like home to them.

“At least I brought my figures,” Tsumugi remarked to herself, sitting on the edge of her… plain mattress. Plain, just like she was. Besides, the school probably had spare bedding *somewhere,* like the warehouse. But before Tsumugi went looking for blankets and pillows, she wanted to meet her roommates… wherever they were.

Tsumugi checked the alarm clock she’d placed on her bedside table, beside her anime figures. She loved her alarm clock as well; it depicted a young, anime girl with turquoise twintails on its smooth surface, and whenever it ringed, it wasn’t the obnoxious, notorious buzzing of a stereotypical song -- it played one of the fifty songs included in the alarm clock, so Tsumugi awoke to a song rather than a beep. When she had to pack a couple of her favorite things for Hope’s Peak Academy, her alarm clock was a must.

*Huh? It’s seven already?* Tsumugi shouldn’t have been surprised… if this entire school year were a fanfiction, the first chapter would already be so long, if it depicted the entire day. Of course, not very long if it *only* followed Tsumugi’s day, because she didn’t do much… but if not, it would already be sixteen pages in a Google Docs file.

So… because it was that late, maybe it was best if Tsumugi just went to the warehouse now. She stood, readjusting her glasses, and strode out of her dorm room.

### [ Hajime Hinata ]

Hajime officially had the worst luck. He admitted it. No, actually, he had *no* luck whatsoever. Which was depressingly ironic, considering that his roommate was the Ultimate Lucky Student.

Nagito hadn’t been *that* bad last year. Hajime could usually avoid him, even in their shared dorm room. But that was when they were freshmen. But they were sophomores now, which meant Hajime certainly had *some* sort of responsibility.

Which meant that it was a terrible time for Nagito to pester him about freaking *orange juice.* What gave him the idea that Hajime even *drank* orange juice? And then Nagito had the *nerve* to call him tsundere.

Yeah, *maybe* Hajime drank orange juice before. *MAYBE.* It wasn’t like he *liked* it or anything, though.

...Well, now he *did* sound like a tsundere. Crud.

“Hey, Hajime,” said Chiaki, “Where did you put that game console?”

“Huh? Game console?”

“The one I gave you last year.”

“Oh, right, that. Um… in one of those drawers.” Hajime motioned in the general direction of his bedside table.

Chiaki nodded and darted over, pulling open every drawer.

*She’s… pretty desperate to play some video games,* thought Hajime, watching Chiaki. *Does she really get bored of the physical world* that *fast?*

Of course, Hajime didn’t need anyone to answer that question. He’d known Chiaki for over a year now, so he was used to her antics… and her unhealthy obsession with video games.

“Don’t you have your own game console with you right now?” asked Hajime, attempting to start any sort of conversation.

Chiaki paused for a split second before continuing her search. “I need two consoles to test out this double battle,” she explained offhandedly. “I don’t have any other friends to play it with, so I figured that I would fight random people across the world using your console, too.”

Hajime blinked. Sometimes, it felt like Chiaki was speaking in a foreign language.

“Well, uh, Nagito’s coming back in an hour,” Hajime said.

“Huh? Why’s he gone for so long?”

*That isn’t the point,* Hajime thought. “He has a job, remember? Apparently, there’s someone new there, and Nagito has to help him.”

“Nagito… helping someone?” Chiaki yawned. “Well… does that mean he’ll smell like fast food again?”

*THAT isn’t the point, either,* Hajime thought. “Well, I don’t know, but he’ll be gone for an hour. So do you want to do something?”

“Like what…?”

“Anything.”

Chiaki stopped ripping apart Hajime’s closet, of which she’d begun searching through after she couldn’t find the console in his bedside table, underneath his bed, or his desk drawer. “Anything…?”

Hajime suddenly realized what he’d said. “I-I mean-! Not *anything* anything, just--”

Lifting up two game consoles (she clearly had found his in his *closet.* Hajime didn’t remember putting it there, but okay), Chiaki turned to face him. “Is this in the genre of ‘anything’?”

*Oh, she just wants me to play video games with her? That’s simple-- oh, crud, who am I kidding. If I learned anything last year, it was to* not play video games with Chiaki*. She always beats me… but…*

He looked back at Chiaki. She was still holding the consoles, giving him a gentle albeit somewhat forceful smile. Knowing Chiaki, she wouldn’t take “no” for an answer.

Hajime suppressed a regretful sigh and tried to reciprocate her smile (though he probably looked either dead inside or physically pained). “Sure, Chiaki. We can play some games.”

“They aren’t just *‘some games’,”* corrected Chiaki, crossing the room to sit on the floor beside his bed, passing his console to him. “This is a very popular racing game. It also has a multiplayer function, so here, hook up your console.”

“So we aren’t going to play the game you were talking about earlier?”

Chiaki shook her head. “You wouldn’t understand the controls.”

So this was one of the few times Chiaki actually considered what kind of game Hajime would want to play, he realized, as she turned on both consoles. She was explaining something about holding the “A” button, but Hajime wasn’t really paying attention. He knew how to play racing video games, after all.

“Okay?” Chiaki finally asked.

Hajime blinked. “Uh, yeah. We’re starting now?”

“Yep,” said Chiaki. She pressed a button on her console, causing the screens of both consoles to go black for a moment before loading a basic overview of the racing course.

And thus, it began: one hour’s worth of Hajime being wrecked by Chiaki at a simple video game.

### [ Shuichi Saihara ]

*What goes around comes around.*

Strangely, that quote popped into Shuichi’s mind as he surveyed his dorm room. He was sitting on his bed, watching his roommate talk to another freshman. Shuichi wasn’t even sure whether Kokichi knew he was in the room, nor did he exactly mind. The less attention Shuichi got, the less likely it was for him to make a mistake.

However, the other freshman *did* seem to notice Shuichi. Several times, the avocado-haired boy shot him looks, though they weren’t exactly unfriendly. Then again, Shuichi wasn’t the best at reading expressions… maybe Kokichi’s friend hated him. Maybe *Kokichi* hated him, too.

Shuichi sighed, closing the novel that he’d been holding for a very long time. He’d only read a couple pages, as he’d been mostly watching the two students converse.

*Or… I’m eavesdropping. I shouldn’t do that. I should find something to do. Maybe the cafeteria’s still open--*

“...So then I just ran away! She didn’t even *notice* until she slipped on the banana peel!”

“Isn’t slipping on a banana peel sort of a… stereotypical prank?”

“Shut up, Rantaro-chan, I don’t care! So as I was *saying,* when she slipped on the banana peel, she landed so hard, she could've hit her head *again!* It wasn’t like I was gonna bring her to the nurse’s office *again,* ’cause that would’ve involved a *lot* of boring talking to idiots. So I just left her there!”

“You… didn’t check if she were okay?”

“Naahh! She’s fine.”

“But you don’t know for a fact.”

“Didn’t I tell you to shut up, Rantaro-chan?”

Shuichi glanced over slowly. He knew there was a weak spot somewhere in that statement… he paused, attempting to recall Kokichi’s words.

“Besides, it’s not like she could go to the nurse’s office *twice* in one day. Even if she *did* end up getting hurt somehow, it wouldn’t matter ’cause no one cares about her anywa--”

“No, that’s wrong!” Shuichi exclaimed, tossing his novel aside, standing, and pointing a finger toward the conversing boys.

Both Kokichi and the other student (Rantaro, as Kokichi called him) turned to stare at him.

“What’s wrong?” inquired Rantaro.

“Are you two talking about Kaede?” asked Shuichi.

“Answering a question with a question,” Rantaro muttered. “Smart.”

“Nope,” Kokichi replied cheerfully. “We’re talking about Kee-Boy--”

“NO, THAT’S WRONG!”

Kokichi fell off his bed from the volume of Shuichi’s voice. “Wh-Wha--?! *Again--?!”*

“Partner, calm down,” said Rantaro.

“First of all, there’s no way you could be talking about ‘Kee-*Boy’.* During your conversation, you were very clearly using feminine pronouns, like *‘she’* and *‘her’!”*

“Did I?” asked Kokichi, confused. “I don’t think so.”

But Shuichi saw right through his lie. “You said that nobody cares about her. That isn’t true! Kaede has friends, family, and she has m--” Shuichi bit his tongue harshly, but it was too late. He could taste the blood in his mouth as Rantaro gave him an inquisitive stare.

“And she has ‘m’...?”

Shuichi felt his face turn hot. “And she has… uh… m-macaroni!”

“Macaroni?” echoed Rantaro. “Isn’t macaroni… an inanimate object, though?”

“Um, ah, uh, th-that’s a good point there,” Shuichi managed with a nervous laugh.

A couple chokingly awkward moments of silence passed. Finally, Shuichi stood up, staggering across the room. He grabbed the doorknob to the dorm room’s bathroom and walked in, locking the door behind him.

*WHYYYYYYYYYYY AM I SUCH AN ITIOOOOOOOOOT?!*

Shuichi gripped his hair in one hand, cursing himself non-stop as he banged his head against the bathroom door. *WHYYYYYYYY--*

“What’s with the silence, Kokichi? ...Hey, Kokichi? Are you actually awa--”

“HEY! I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine DON’T TOUCH ME--”

“I wasn’t--”

“Did you see how flustered Shuichi-chan got?!”

“Uhm--”

“Ibethelikesher! Doesn’thedoesn’thedoesn’the?!”

“Kokichi what--”

“What? AmItalkingtoofastforyourunknown-talentbraintokeepupwith?”

“I-It’s not that, it’s just--”

“Well guess what, I don’t actually care sooooo WHATEVS! Hey, whydon’twegofindKaedeand*CRUSHHERTOABLOODYMESS?!”*

“KOKICHI, WHAT THE HE--”

“Whaaaat? You don’t wanna?”

“Well- Of course I don’t, but *why* are you acting like this?”

“Huh? Acting like what? I’m not acting. This is 100% me, Kokichi Oma, the Supreme Leader of Evil!”

“...I got that.”

“Then why’d you make me say it again?!”

“Just… don’t murder Kaede….”

“No promises!”

“KOKICHI--!”

“Kidding, kidding. Maybe. Probably. Who knows? Anyway, shouldn’t you be going back to your own room now, Rantaro-chan?”

“...’Kay, then. See you tomorrow, Kokichi. Don’t kill someone while I’m gone.”

“Nishishi… we’ll see~!”

Silence followed. Shuichi reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone, quickly turning it on and opening a texting app.

*- Hey, Kaede, wru?*

A moment passed.

*- My room, why?*

*- Kokichi said you might’ve hit your head.*

*- Something about a banana peel.*

*- Oh. No no no, I’m totally fine.*

*Btw, do we have classes tmrw?*

*- I think so.*

*- K. It’s late now, ttyl.*

Shuichi checked the time -- only 11:21 PM. That was fine, Shuichi usually stayed up until midnight on school nights anyway.

He opened NicoNico. He only wanted to see what the new trends were, that was all.

...And the next thing Shuichi knew, he was looking at a clock that very clearly said it was 2:11 AM.

*Wh-What?! How am I supposed to wake up at 5 AM?!* Shuichi quickly slid his phone in his pocket and thrust open the door. He hadn’t bothered unlocking it, however, so it flew open with quite a loud *pop.*

Then Shuichi was greeted with the cold silence of past-midnight at Hope’s Peak Academy. He didn’t even hear owls hooting -- just silence. On one side of the room, Kokichi was practically buried under two separate blankets, fast asleep. On the other, Shuichi’s bed was empty and cold (more practically, it would have warmed up after a little bit).

Shuichi’s gaze flickered from one bed to the other. He was cold-- no, *freezing.* So… Surely it wouldn’t hurt if he--

*Wait, what am I thinking? Th-That’s insane… I should just try to sleep.*

Today had been a long day, after all. As Shuichi climbed into his equally frigid bed, he realized something. He couldn’t go to sleep with that cringey, protagonist-worthy line, something like: *“And he closed his eyes, ready to begin his first real day at Hope’s Peak Academy.”*

No… His first real day at Hope’s Peak Academy had already begun.

**- - -**

**A/N: And that is the end of chapter one!**

**...**

**...well this is awkward**

**I did NOT intend for this to be so freaking long. I threw the end together at, yes, 2:11 AM because *it had to end somehow.* And now it's cringey and I'm progressively liking Shuichi a lot less than I did when I first wrote this.**

**(He's a protagonist so. I love all protagonists but they can be seriously infurating sometimes-)**

**The second chapter is finished and right here!~ (if you're too lazy to go back to the main page lol)**

**Again, I read all comments, and constructive criticism is appreciated! However, please write comments on this fanfiction's main page (which is linked at the top of this page!) because I won't be notified when someone writes a comment, and if all comments are written on one page, it'll be easier for me to see them. Thanks! :)**

***(also, feel free to hate me for that "hydraulic press" comment. there are more where that came from.)***