Timeline

**The Timeline of the Shatterzone Universe** is not complicated.

## Timeline of the Shatterzone Universe

### Pre-FTL Age

* 65 000 000 BC (237 964,48 °CBC) - The grandfather of Martta Palpatine, Paasi Palpatine, arrives to Earth, causing a minor extinction event.
* 10 000 BC (36,60 °CBC) - Prometheus is chained to the mother of Martta Palpatine.
* 6592 BC (24,13 °CBC) - Martta Palpatine is born.
* 3000 BC (10,98 °CBC) - The graveyard of the relatives of Martta Palpatine is found. The locals name the assortment "Stonehenge".
* 1020 BC (3,73 °CBC) - David defeats Goliath using a shard of Martta Palpatine.
* 4 BC (0,01 °CBC) - Jesus Christ is born.

* 33 (0,12 °C) - Martta Palpatine is set to block the tomb of Jesus Christ. She is removed after the third day.
* 487 (1,78 °C) - King Arthur pulls the Excalibur out of Martta Palpatine.
* 934 (3,42 °C) - The first ruler of the Burgerus Dynasty, Sultan Satuq Bughra Khan, later deemed "The Burger Khan", converts to Islam.
* 955 (3,49 °C) - The first Burger Khan dies and is buried in Artush.
* 1250 (4,57 °C) - The Rapa Nui People start the experiment of creating a cloned army of Kivijättis. The failed project is later named "The Moai".
* 1410 (5,16 °C) - Famed alchemist Nicolas Flamel creates the Philosopher's stone, using the wisdom tooth of Martta Palpatine.
* 1818 (6,65 °C) - Baron Karl Darx is born.
* 1844 (6,75 °C) - Minna Canth is born.
* 1897 (6,94 °C) - The Duke is born.
* 1914 (7,00 °C) - World War One begins.
* 1917 (7,01 °C) - Finland declares independence.
* 1939 (7,09 °C) - World War Two begins.
* 1946 (7,12 °C) - Paavo Väyrynen is born.
* 1948 (7,13 °C) - McDonalds is founded.
* 1954 (7,15 °C) - The Burger Kingdom moves its capital to Florida, United States, and invests in the fast food industry.
* 1958 (7,16 °C) - Apsi Ape program. Dimitri Kiakov is born.
* 1961 (7,17 °C) - Juha Sipilä is born.
* 1978 - Grigori Rasputin's secret followers in Germany test out an early form of Musicmancery for the glory of their warlock master, with terrifying results.
* 1986 (7,27 °C) - Invention of Duplex Filter.
* 1990 (7,28 °C) - Eastern Bloc falls. McDonald's spreads to Eastern Europe. Dimitri is sent to space.
* 1991 (7,28 °C) - Duke Nukem is born.
* 1999 (7,31 °C) - The first season of Hui Hai Hiisi is broadcasted. Berenike becomes the first faerie to reach lvl 2.
* 2011 (7,36 °C) - New Mene has been bornes.
* 2012 (7,36 °C) - Events of Henkirikos.
* 2013 - The Burger Kingdom takes a financial foothold in Finland, ensuring a place in the coming Nordic cosmic order.
* 2014 (7,37 °C) - The battle of Mannerheim: Mega Party between Grigori Rasputin and Marshall Mannerheim.
* 2016 - Snellman sells its prototype Meat Puppet technology to Disney, which the company uses to duplicate sentient meat copies of Peter Cushing and Carrie Fisher. The meat decays and starts to rot after a few days of filming.
* 2017 (7,38 °C) - Ylekala is programmed.
* 2018 (7,38 °C) - A purple man from space gathers the remnants of the six ancestors of Martta Palpatine. The following conflict causes a brief disturbance in exactly half of the population of the universe. The purple man is later defeated by The Avengers.

### Era of Nordic Expansion

* 2045 (7,48 °C) - Juha Sipilä invents way to manipulate flogiston to enable faster-than-light-speed. Finland becomes the first spacefaring nation. Other Nordic countries quickly follow, as they are only countries which still have national budget.
* 2046 (7,49 °C) - Rap becomes the dominant form of music in Finland after Frederik dies.
* 2048 (7,49 °C) - The first contact. Biker Mice are found from Mars.
* 2050 (7,50 °C) - *Vain Elämää - Space Season* is broadcasted. It hails the beginning of Space Reality Television. Beginning of the Musicmancery.
* 2051 (7,50 °C) - In a terrifying accident New Big Brother House collides with three different moons of Saturn.
* 2066 (7,56 °C) - The first human colony, Space Helsinki Prime, is founded outside Sol System. McDonalds opens a restaurant there.
* 2081 (7,61 °C) - The Star of Sol System is found to be a Rap Star.
* 2089 (7,64 °C) - The Green League starts uplifting various earth species. The first wave consisted of Ticks, Kangaroos and Indonesian Fiddler Crabs. Frogs followed soon after.

### The Union Of Space Squid Era

* 2117 (7,75 °C) - The human colonies of Nordic Countries in space are organized to form The Union Of Space Squid, led by The Old Eduskunta as the first interstellar government.
* 2122 (7,76 °C) - YleX-Men is disbanded after the catastrophic mission to The Zone.
* 2145 (7,85 °C) - The Rappers start organizing as an order after death pop extremists murder Eminem the Executor. Other genres quickly follow the militarization.
* 2187 (8,00 °C) - Trial and execution of DJ City Rabbit in the hands of the Rap Inquisition.
* 2188 (8,01 °C) - The Progressive Manifesto, which will later be known as the "Black Book of Rap", is published. It speaks against the hegemony of rap.
* 2189 (8,01 °C) - The Music War.
* 2202 (8,06 °C) - Trial and execution of DJ Jötler.
* 2203 (8,06 °C) - Events of Rölli: Ragnarok. Last of the Ylex-Men disappears from the public.
* 2204 (8,06 °C) - The formation of Rap Order and the Catechism of the Rapper. Suppression of other genres of Musicmancy begin.
* 2211 (8,09 °C) - Terraframe mining station in Sector B4 disappears. Mapping of Desertio Spaedum.
* 2218 (8,12 °C) - Bootleg Palpatine explores Star of Vihti.
* 2239 (8,19 °C) - Olkiluoto 3 is finished.
* 2240 (8,20 °C) - The Hologram Rebellion. Afterwards the Hologram people were enslaved and forced to work as messengers.
* 2241 (8,20 °C) - McDonald's starts enhancing their workers with biochemical upgrades.
* 2267 (8,29 °C) - First contact to the Skrall. The Second Great Northern War is fought between the humans and the Skrall, which ends in terrible defeat of Swedish space fleet.
* 2273 (8,32 °C) - Forssa is nuked from the orbit by the Skrall forces. This lead to landslide victory of Muutos 2011.
* 2278 (8,33 °C) - The Second Continuation War. The Skrall Empire is pushed back to their space, beginning a period of hostility between two powers.
* 2280 - Special police squads, Blade Burrower units, are assigned to shoot to kill, upon detection, any trespassing Hirou. This is not called execution. It is called retirement.
* 2282 (8,35 °C) - The capital is officially moved from Earth to Space Helsinki Prime. The Second Constitution of Finland abolishes Union Of Space Squid. The colonies of Sweden, Denmark and Norway are annexed and Iceland is exiled. Age of Finnish Supremacy begins.

### The Eduskunta Era

* 2288 (8,37 °C) - The Ikea Rebellion is crushed swiftly.
* 2298 (8,41 °C) - The Big Macronomicon is finished by unknown author.
* 2300 (8,42 °C) - The expansion to Wild West and Outer Skrall Sectors begin.
* 2305 (8,43 °C) - Jääräpäinen is born.
* 2308 (8,44 °C) - Markka War is fought. Vesa Keskinen is forced to cede the copyrights of Markka back to Supreme Chancellor Väyrynen. Markka is once again made the official currency of Finland.
* 2313 (8,48 °C) - Skrall Wars begin.
* 2317 (8,48 °C) - Amazon Prime is destroyed as Imperium of Itella mopolizes trading in space.
* 2328 (8,52 °C) - The last Skrall strongholds surrender. Skrall Empire is annexed to Finland.
* 2339 (8,56 °C) - Baltasar Herbamare Plötz is born.
* 2351 (8,60 °C) - Ferdinand Groink is born.
* 2362 (8,64 °C) - Theseus Theophilus Burgerus and Urho Ulamog Tiainen are born.
* 2363 (8,65 °C) - KEKKONE is first found from the outer rim of the galaxy. It is quickly declared deity.
* 2364 (8,65 °C) - Pasi Palpatine is born.
* 2373 (8,68 °C) - Fall of Burger Kingdom.
* 2380 (8,71 °C) - Spherus Magna joins to Eduskunta. Unto Ulamog Tiainen and other key ticks of the planet form the Tick Liberation Front.
* 2381 (8,71 °C) - Tiimari is destroyed in a corporate war.
* 2384 (8,72 °C) - Adolphus Kaskelotti is born.
* 2386 (8,73 °C) - Elias Lötkö is born.
* 2390 (8,74 °C) - Jenny Källström is born.
* 2409 (8,81 °C) - **Events of Episode I: The Fellowship Of The Swag.** Vesa-Matti Loiri dies in Core Battle.
* 2412 (8,83 °C) - **Events of Episode II: Attack of the Clowns.**  The Duke is elected as Juha Sipilä. Rap Wars begin as the Earworm is activated galaxy-wide.
* 2416 (8,84 °C) - Taavi Frankston is born.
* 2418 (8,85 °C) - Jake McKorhonen is born.
* 2421 (8,86 °C) - The last battle of Rap Wars. Almost every rapper is eradicated. Rap is declared criminal. Every McDonalds restaurant in the universe disappears.
* 2422 (8,86 °C) - Leopold Seldon is born.
* 2425 (8,87 °C) - Skeletal People's Party for Cultural Skeletalism is founded and quickly disbanded. The Skeleton War begins.

### The Government Era

* 2451 (8,97 °C) - Figara Rosehead is born.
* 2452 (8,97 °C) - **Events of Episode IV: The Last Of Space Rappers**. First Galactic Empire is founded by Pasi Palpatine. The first Rap Star since the war is born.
* 2453 (8,98 °C) - Pasi Quest begins. Emperor Pasi Palpatine starts the search for the Rap Artifacts.
* 2454 (8,98 °C) - Baron Karl Darx defeats Prince Lightstar in a duel, ending the Skeleton War.
* 2455 (8,98 °C) - **Events of Episode V: McDonalds Strikes Back**. The McDonalds battle fleet attack and New Chicago is destroyed. World War Three begins.