Headhunters 5: The Final Four

## Introduction

K.V.Are you kidding me? A Monday night meltdown propels the down-and-out Obi-Wan into the final four and send the bad boy of Headhunters home.

## In Memoriam: Bad Boys II - The Soundtrack

Tyreek Hill...cursed? Like the DJ Moore curse of yesteryear, Tyreek Hill seems to be the poison of choice for Glorio in 2023. Tyreek is now on his sixth team of the season. He lasted two games for Out of Luck, two games for Jethro's Glorious Team, a whopping five games for Extra Tight Ends, a single game for RIP Diggs, and four games for Bad Boys II. And now Monty's Python, who for much of the season has been favored to win it all, has the rotten apple in his bunch.

But that's not why we are here. Today we mourn the loss of Bad Boys II. Going into Monday night, it seemed pretty clear he was going to be safe. Obi-Wan, Monty, and Horsemen were all projected within 15 points of each other at the bottom, and then KVR was a notch above that. All he needed was Tyreek and Tua to combine for something around 40 points in any combo they wanted.

The week had been a bit of a failure to this point. Sam LaPorta was more like Sam LaPared because it was basically like starting a brick wall at TE this week. Jerome Ford F150 only ran For51 and Davante Adam's apple probably gave KVR a lump in his throat as he realized only one of his players had beaten projection.

But that was all fine. It was Monday night, and the Tua/Tyreek stack just needed to perform. And that's when an ankle injury knocked out Tyreek and opened la porta for an improbable comeback from Obi-Wan and the combined forces of Waddle and Saquon Barkley. Tua didn't throw a TD all night, but turnovers in the RZ led to two easy Mostert scores, which boosted Monty out of the danger zone and took points out of Tua's mouth. If those TDs had been a throw to a non-Waddle receiver, KVR survives. But instead, Monty and Obi-Wan, with his RB Christian something-or-other, live to fight another day.

Lost in all this was BadGuy Horsemen (trying to do like a BoJack thing, couldn't stick the landing) hanging about with GB defense and Achane. Neither beat projection, but both got pretty freaking close, and so the sacrilegious one survives but gets hit with another strike of lightning from Glorio with the loss of Justin Herbert for the rest of the season. Fucking test the Gods, man. Keep doin it!

Sorry, got distracted. Doing this writeup on a Wednesday just does not feel the same.

KVR wheeled and dealed, and came up short yet again. But one thing we can all agree on is that he keeps the league interesting. He is engaging, he is willing to work a trade at any time. He does auctions. Bidding wars. Builds empires only to dismantle them and try to build again, better, newer, stronger. He is a force. And I'm happy to call him an arch rival.

But now he is gone. And all that remains is Commish, New Guy, and two defending champs.

Bad Boy:

## Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021 v 2022 v 2023)

Best ever finish for Bad Boys but you cannot help but feel like he was meant for greater things before the big RB dump of 2023.

## Dead Money

Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.

Dead Money 2023

Bad Boys spent well over $1000 and still managed to finish with $16 in his pocket.

## Top New Releases

No need to do this section because we already had bidding for week 15.

## Week Fourteen Bidding Results

### Quick-Hit Thoughts

* Last Year's Most Expensive Player: Joe Burrow- $34 (RIP Diggs)
* I guess there was a reason Horsemen was able to pick up Herbert off the bargain bin.
* Houston Defense...NOT GREAT! Turns out Sacks Wilson can play, he just needs to be benched and then unbenched and then benched and then unbenched again.
* Henry VIII chose to load up on WR talent and while he did finish with the top score, neither pickup was to thank.

## Excessive Spend

Excessive spend is anything over a single dollar more than the next highest bid for the player you won, and does not take into account the talent level or value of the player.

## Money Spent Per Week

SMOKED the record of most money spent in week 14. I think we might smoke week 15 too. Let's gooo.

## Kings of the Castle

### 1. Henry VIII

Being this good in week 5 means something. But being this good in week 14 means nothing. It's a small consolation that this team would have been top dawg even without Deebo this week. Lamar "Sorry Ms." Jackson is for real, and Evan Engram is finally producing big number with the absence of Christian Kirk. The only low points were the high priced WRs this team brought in, Sun God and Chase.

### 2. Monty's Python

Monty really dodged some bullets this week. He finished second but with a performance that really doesn't warrent "king of the castle" status. Both QBs, Goff and Hurts, failed to hit 17 fantasy points. Justin Jefferson got hurt in the opening minutes, which was a huge buzz kill to basically the entire fantasy community. But somehow Raheem MustStart nearly broke 30, and Austin Ekeler came back from the grave, and even Derrick Henry got in on the fun. It was sad to see Monty's Monty on the bench, but the starters got the job done.

## On the Chopping Block

### 4. Obi-Wan Mahomie

Yet again Patrick Obi-Wahhh, Wahhh Mahomies failed to hit projection, and to this point has only done so twice all season. It's no wonder he is turning to the hot as hell Matthew Stafford for week 15. Considering the bum week that Mike Evans and Stefon Diggs had (combining for 8.6 points), and losing Josh Jacobs, you have to figure surviving this week was huge and the potential for a boom week in 15 is through the roof.

### 3. Headless Horsemen

Survived with one QB and Zack Moss somehow in there as a starter in a five team league. Benched huge days from Breece Hall (30.70), James Cooke (29.55), and Trevor Lawrence (33.01). But in all fairness, I totally missed the memo on Lawrence starting and I thought I was pretty dialed in to the regular season fantasy finale this weekend, so can't knock the guy for that. Aaron Jones and Jonathan Taylor are pretty frustrating teammates and it might be time to cut ties with every roster spot counting this late in the year.

## Narrow Defeats

Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:

Another nailbiter and it really could have been any of the bottom four teams. Crazy week.

## Unique Players Started

How many unique players (Defense included) were started by each team. The table can be sorted by players and also by week eliminated.

## Rulers of the Kingdom

2023 first place finishers:

Is Commish peaking too early?

## Dungeon Dwellers

2023 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:

## Single Season Scoring Records

As teams get eliminated, their single season performance will appear here. Bolded lines indicate performances from the current season.

Bad Boys logs a top-10 score of all-time this year (though at least three teams will ultimately pass him on this list on 2023). Still an incredible season.

## All-Time Combined Points Scored

Same as above: eliminated teams will have their 2023 season added to the total. Bolded lines indicate that the record has been updated through 2023.

KVR falls short of Billy Jeans' five-season mark but narrowly passes up Guilloteam to temporarily hold 4th all-time on the combined scoring list.