Let's Play CHAMPION OF THE WILD

**Let's Play CHAMPION OF THE WILD** is a video in the Board Game Club series.

"*They'd remember the time another elephant was in a Royal Rumble, and cry.* "
―Laurie
## Notable moments

* The first rule of Board Game Club is "animals are friends, not food".
* Who will *prove themselves the ultimate ruler of the animal kingdom*?
* Well this is nice - we've gone from intense and complicated alien infections last week, to animal impressions and utterly stupid this week. I love that BGC allows both extremes.
* Harvey Holmes in the YouTube comments said they'd heard this game described as 'weird debate you'd have in the pub', which is absolutely spot-on. There's passionate defence based on completely spurious half-remembered facts, shouting, insults, scorn and nonsense. Perfection.
* Power events involve power, speed events involve speed... who'da thought?
* Blair is classically speedy. Or maybe just small.
* First event is a Royal Rumble, so half the group are happy.
* Sullivan is too hot to handle, Rosie is too cold to hold.
* Adam is a professional host, doncha know.
* Please stop with the accents, we beg you.
* Adam loves his bear, Chunk. Sullivan's rhino, Paul, is managed by its baby, which may be eaten by Blair's crocodile, Nile. Isa's ostrich, Ozzie, is known for being a vicious bastard (and dancing, according to Rosie). Laurie's taking a slightly different tack, choosing a shark, Grant, in an event with no water.
* Adam points out that all the other animals will just sit back and wait for Grant to die - although if he can tempt the other animals over, he will eat them.
* Rosie's very cross about the fact that sharks aren't mammals.
* Rosie's chosen an elephant, whose ears are going to be important for some reason. It's called Martin, oh no, actually Elmer. It's going to fuck Laurie's shark in the water, because for some reason it's Laurie's fault that Rosie got the mammal thing confused.
* Laurie's absolutely committed to this nonsense, you have to give him that. He's claiming his shark is versatile. Adam: "Oh yeah, real versatile - he could be either alive... or dead".
* Laurie on crocodiles: "They're really fast in a straight line Blair, but if you zig zag on a crocodile, it's like 'what the fuck man?'"
* There are very few grabbing animals in this Royal Rumble.
* Adam to Blair: "I've never seen you this way". She's really passionate about her crocodile's skills.
* Sullivan: "You can't toss a rhino over!" Rhinos have the lift factor. Elephants are too big - no turning circle.
* Event 2 - Grant has been revived.
* Adam: "Will [the elephant's] over confidence be its downfall?" Rosie: "Absolutely not." She's probably not wrong on this one.
* The ostrich is probably hanging out for Event 3, it's doing nothing in this one.
* Laurie:"[Grizzly bears] are fucking ungainly when they stand up!...bambi on fucking ice..." Adam: "How daaaaare you!"
* Laurie filled with righteous outrage is a wonderful sight to see - and if the righteous outrage is over something that *is absolute nonsense*, it's somehow even sweeter. "THERE'S WATER!" And we've gone.
* Jaws is so scientifically accurate, it's practically a documentary.
* Ostriches are in it for a participation award, not a winner's medal.
* Some of us don't appear to know anything at all about animals - any animals.
* Sullivan: "Have you never seen a rhino reverse?"
* Event 3 - musical chairs with damp chairs.
* Many of our animals have got it going on in the back. Most of them will struggle to interact with a regular chair, though.
* We've all seen a bear sitting on a chair, or rooting through a bin - something like that, in any case.
* Laurie is claiming that the theme from Jaws actually summons sharks. Everyone else decides that as sharks need to keep moving, he's going to be disqualified anyway. All over for Grant.
* We can safely heckle some animals, particularly the one that died in the ring. And we've gone.
* An elephant's biggest weakness is criticism, on account of the never forgetting.
* Game 2 includes a bulldog clip challenge - Laurie wants to put the clip on the penis every time.
* Sullivan lives in a stately home, apparently.
* Laurie's going for the bit in his animal choice. He's gone for a mammal, at least. But in a game with no water at all, he's chosen Keelan the Irish killer whale. And we've gone.
* Isa has a honey badger called Florence, she's trained via animal murder. Sullivan has Clive the cheetah. Blair has Bob the Basilisk Lizard. Adam has the gazelle, Giselle - crazy horns, crazy fast and crazy cool. Rosie has a teeny flying squirrel.
* The squirrel is so tiny that the clip will squish it. Sullivan wants to put the clip on its head nonetheless.
* The clip's not the problem for Laurie, it's the being out in the sun. The rules don't say that the animal has to stay alive while it's clipped.
* They're spending a lot of time planning to torment each other's animals with these clips.
* The gazelle is going to pretend to be a big game trophy. As is the cheetah. Keelan is going to be relying on shadows to hide.
* A honey badger is a confrontational little motherfucker.
* Is speed helpful in hide and seek? It's not quicker than light or sound, though.
* Laurie's navigating through echolocation, motherfucker.
* The gazelle will be snacking on the maze and is stupid prey but can turn on a dime. Honey badger would become enraged and bash the maze with its head. The squirrel is going to be buffeted by the wind.
* Rosie has roadkill - the rest of them are bloodthirsty bastards. She's getting pity points, which are better than no points.
* Bigblair.com!
* Kiss my grits! A rare non-Jon sighting.
* Adam and Laurie and their never-ending dance of grudges - Laurie died on the ground floor of the stately home and is still kicking the gazelle's arse. This pleases him more than winning would.
* We seem to have moved to tactical voting. Laurie is fuming, Adam is fuming, Rosie is fuming.

## Scores

* Game 1
	+ Laurie 45
	+ Isa 55
	+ Blair 57
	+ Sullivan 61
	+ Rosie 69
	+ Adam 73

* Game 2
	+ Rosie 50
	+ Adam 53
	+ Sullivan 55
	+ Laurie 63
	+ Blair 68
	+ Isa 68

## Talking Heads

Lots of talking heads are available this episode.

## Trivia

* Game introduction and rules are presented by Adam.
* An extended version of this episode is available on the No Rolls Barred Patreon.