Allon Writes Something

Mee learns an important message.

## Transcript

*(cut to Allon seated at "Allon's Box" writing a Valentines Day card)*

**ALLON:** *(reading out loud as he writes)* Dear PinkFrosting88, Happy Saint Valentines Day, and a Happy New Year. With love, from your secret admirerer...

*(extreme closeup of card as Allon adds an extra "er" to the word "Admirerer")*

**ALLON:** ... rer.

*(cut back to Allon)*

**ALLON:** Yeah.

*(Meelord enters)*

**MEE:** Hey dipshit, what are you writing there? Some kind of suicide note?

**ALLON:** Actually, it's a Valentine's Day card.

**MEE:** Valentine's Day? Pshhh!

*(Mee spits some blood onto Allon's face)*

**MEE:** Valentine's GAY! You'd never catch me involved with any of that bull crap. Not in a million, billion, thrillion, zillion years!

*(Meelord is handed a Valentine's Day card by Telegram Guy)*

**TELEGRAM GUY:** Valentine's Day card for Mee Marone!

*(canned laughter is heard)*

**MEE:** What the?! That was unexpected. Let me see that!

*(Words appear on a pink card as Tahoma's voice is heard)*

**TAHOMA:** To the loving love of my loving life, Meelord,

*(The word "Meelord" appears in brackets on the card)*

**TAHOMA:** Having a very loving Valentine's Day,

*("Valentine's" is replaced with "Lovingtine's" on the card)*

**TAHOMA:** Love from your loving lover, Tahoma. P.S. Love.

*(cut back to Allon)*

**ALLON:** Oh, that's pretty nice.

**MEE:** Yeah well, good thing she's away on some business trip right now, because if I actually heard Tahoma say that out loud, I probably would have thrown up all over her.

*(cut to Allon, Meelord and the ghost of the Kidnapper, who is listening in on the conversation)*

**MEE:** And I know from experience she's not into that kind of thing.

**KIDNAPPER:** Oooooooo!

*(Pause as Allon and Meelord stare at him)*

**KIDNAPPER:** Ooo, I'm a ghost!

**MEE:** Uh, OK.

**KIDNAPPER:** I am the ghost of Valentine's Day past! Ooo!

**ALLON:** No you're not, you're that kidnapping guy. And I'm pretty sure you didn't even die on Valentine's Day, so why are you-

**KIDNAPPER:** OK, you know what? Why don't you go fuck yourself? OK? Anyway, I am here to show you what life would be like if you opened that Valentine's card. Ooo!

**MEE:** Uh yeah, I already did that.

**KIDNAPPER:** Oh, really? Well, uh, did you read it?

**MEE:** Yeah.

**KIDNAPPER:** Well... well in that case, do you want to see what life would be like if you hadn't have read it?

**MEE:** No, but I'd like to see what life would be like if you shut the fuck up!

**KIDNAPPER:** Fine, be that way. Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, and it wasn't me, because ghosts don't have beds.

**ALLON:** Well then, where do you sleep?

**KIDNAPPER:** Uh, I sleep standing up. Beeeuu!

*(Kidnapper descends to the floor and disappears)*

**ALLON:** Well Meelord, it looks like you learned an important lesson about V.D.

**MEE:** That's right Alvin, I learned-

*(Kidnapper enters again)*

**KIDNAPPER:** Uh, hey guys, sorry to interrupt again, but, did I leave my wallet here? I can't find it anywhere back at my ghost apartment.

**ALLON:** No, I don't see it.

**MEE:** Nope, sorry dude, it's not here.

**KIDNAPPER:** Oh, OK. Well, thanks anyway. Beeeuu!

*(Kidnapper once again descends to the floor and disappears)*

*(Meelord holds up a wallet)*

**MEE:** I totally took his wallet.

*("pop" to "the end" screen)*

## Fun Facts

* The Desk Allon is writing on says "Allon's Box"

## References

* In the episode Serious Tingling, the Kidnapper puts a gun in his mouth and fires as an alternative to shooting Allon. This episode confirms that he is in fact dead, but has come back as a ghost.
* The Kidnapper claims to be the Ghost of Valentine's Day Past, an obvious reference to the Ghost of Christmas Past from the novel A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.