Weird Headed Guy

## What the hell am I looking at???

So you might be wondering. What exactly is that thing in the picture on the right? Well, buckle up, because it sure is an interesting story.

The thing on the right has a name. His name is Randall. Randall worked very very hard to get to the position he is in right now. Countless hours of work at the office, boring meetings, and piles and piles of paper work. Randall grew up in a small town, and his first job was a wall wiper. He wiped various walls in multiple businesses in his town, ranging from the dentist's office, to the bus garage of his school. Randall took wiping walls very seriously. Every day after school, he would put on his work pants and his work shoes (no shirt because it was very hot outside) and he would get into that wall wiping mentality. Randall would wipe for hours straight, chasing the succulent scent of the dollar bill.

When Randall got his paychecks, he would not hesitate to spend them right away on matters of the upmost importance, such as his five porn subscriptions totaling to $85 a month. Randall found these subscriptions were very cost efficient and netted him a lot of popularity after he began giving out the password. Then, Randall had an idea. What if, he sold the content he was receiving from the porn subscriptions instead of wiping walls?

Randall became a porn seller. Randall walked up and down the street near his house with a sandwich board that read, "Cheap Porn!!!!! And it's pretty damn good porn too!!!" Until it got dark outside. Randall found this job to be three times as profitable as his last job as a wall wiper. Randall continued selling porn for the next 15 years of his life, making plenty of money and stashing some away into a savings account. When Randall turned 36, he decided to embark on a vacation, since he had never taken a single day off of work since his first day as a wall wiper. He wanted to travel to New York city.

While in New York, the temptation to work crawled on his skin. He could not shake the feeling that he could be working, making money, doing something instead of wasting his time relaxing. So Randall looked for a temporary job while he was on vacation. He found a job as a secretary at a stock trade. Randall loved this job. He made much more than he did selling porn, and he found that his skills transferred over nicely. So Randall worked, and worked, and worked so hard that he forgot he was on vacation at all! Randall began to sleep in the office where he worked, in the nice comfortable lobby they had there. Randall didn't mind. He showered only when it rained, and ate and drank only what his coworkers brought in. They never caught on that he was stealing, and he knew he was good at it.

Randall worked until he was 87. Then, tragically, Randall died in the office. He had a heart attack in his chair at his desk. Can you believe that? Killed doing the one thing he loved most. Working.

There was no funeral for Randall. After all, he had no family, and all of the friends and popularity he gained from selling porn in his hometown were left behind when he moved to New York. So some of Randall's co-workers, Max and Bob, dragged his corpse out back behind the dumpster to rest a little. This is where things get interesting.

A strange man in a long black cloak approached Randall's lifeless body in the dark of night. He injected him with a secret chemical, and spoke some inspirational words into his cold, dead ears. Those words must've been pretty inspirational, because all of a sudden, Randall came back to life! Except he wasn't really Randall. Randall's skin erupted into purple buboes, his body parts contorted and bent into ways they should never have been able to, and he screamed with the force of a thousand tortured men. Randall writhed like this for mere moments, before his body disappeared from view. Randall was not gone.

Randall was invisible. He didn't know how, the last thing he remembered was slumping down at his desk. He decided to give his new powers a test run. He broke the lock on the door to the office, then sat down and began to work where he left off. Randall worked like this until sunrise, when his co-workers started flooding back into the office. After the sun was fully up, a woman named Jennifer pointed to Randall's desk and screamed. While Randall was invisible, he still cast a shadow. The shadow, however, was not the shadow of a man, but of a disgusting misshapen creature.

Randall took no notice to the screaming. Bob, the same co-worker who had dragged Randall's body outside, approached his desk, and reached out to where he estimated the body casting the shadow might be.

Bob died in an unspeakable way.

After seeing what happened to Bob, everyone else in the building ran outside, screaming their dang heads off! They called the police, and the police investigated the scene. One of them donned gloves and attempted to touch where Randall might be, but they met the same fate as Bob. Randall continued to work, he didn't have time to entertain the police officer's silly games. The next day, a news paper ran a headline of the mysterious "Weird Headed Guy" who haunted the office building. Randall didn't care what people called him, he knew he was a very hard worker.