Beiinors Campaign/Session 10

## [ Session 10 — 05/14/2023 ]

*Sing for me, O muse, that tale of wonder and woe,*

*‘Neath the light of three moons, our heroes slept.*

*The morning passed, they ventured forth,*

*And —*

“What the fuck is that?”

“What?”

“Is that like the intro to the *Iliad*?”

“Well yeah, it’s to introduce the story, you need to invoke the—”

“No, that’s dumb. Pick a different opening.”

*The waters darkened as the boat shifted back and forth. The bay of Qendra turned from a glittering green, to a dark black beneath us, and the gloomy night mingled with the last of the day’s orange glow, disappearing into a yawning blankness that calmed the air.*
*As we sank into that sanguine, nearly melancholy atmosphere, Marlow shifted -*

*“And this also, has been one of the dark places of the earth.”*

*The story he launched into would beset the best of us with the very darkness ourselves, as if it had transcended his spoken word into a cloud of morbid, fierce blankness within our minds.*

“...”

“Wait, is this *Heart of Darkness*?”

“Yeah, why?”

“That’s incredibly unoriginal but go on. What do they do in this episode?”

“Well, really they need to gather information about these traffickers and maybe go shopping along the way...”

“Go on”

“Uh, well...”

*The morning is sunlit and beautiful. Birds chirp vigorously from the expensively maintained trees littering the grounds outside Sempso Manor, while the sounds of laborers and merchants waking up to make their wage start to appear out of the morning silence.*

*A motley crew of characters rise from their sleep, finding their way one by one into the large dining hall of the stately building.*

“—This shouldn’t take this long, just give me the major points.”

“Ok so, you’d think that over breakfast they would do a rough planning session to suss out where they need to go to push the plot forward”

“Uh-huh...”

“But that isn’t going to happen. Instead, Ozymandias calls them to attention immediately, and announces a plan to draw the groups’ enemies into a trap - a fashionable party at Sempso manor!”

“...”

“They begin to ask questions of course. Ozy directs them to a flier he made, advertising some custom merch he designed for the crew. *(And of course, we can merchandise this)*”

*\*nods approvingly\**

“Before they can say anything else - he ushers them downstairs and out the door. Ozymandias is so excited - he set up magical posters all around the city that are basically huge advertisements for the party! Only - the gang stop by one, to find out that Ozy has only shot a dubious looking video advertising some questionable political views and put it on public display.”

“Questionable political views?”

“Don’t worry it’s cool... Anyways, the gang is bewildered, but they needed to be here anyway. It turns out, right behind them is the entrance to the a network of seedy enclaves at the lower layer of the city — we’ll call them the underhouses for now — and there they meet a character named Turk, a suspicious kind of fellow, with a penchant for speaking in a... southern accent, and an abiding love for all he meets as if they were his own children. One by one, the group plies him for information.”

“Get this though - at a certain point, Getheron slips out, and he goes to ***defile*** the video poster outside!”

“Hahaha, I love that Getheron, what a goofball!”

“Well get this, he goes up to one of the magical movie screens showing the Video, and spray paints *Sempso* on it”

“Ooooh, like all dark and mysterious-like?”

“Exactly like that... Ok, so also, Katamira sees him and like, goes out there to tell him not to do it, but Getheron does it anyway, but she doesn’t stop him or anything, she just sort of stares disapprovingly.”

“Ooooh, you know there’s going to be some drama there!”

“Right? So anyways, the gang is getting good information from this guy *(he’s total spin off series/origin story material by the way)*, but finally it comes time for them to go. Bolt sticks around - he needs some items and information. He’s always looking for work, you know. But anyways, the rest of the crew is going shopping. Bolt first - he gets a nice new set of armor, oh wait no, no budget for that - he gets some new boots, and, this is for our older viewers - a poison kit.”

“Oh wow, you think he’s going to poison people with it?”

“Wink wink, nudge nudge hahaha. Anyway, Paavo goes to Phil and Lil’s shop, and gets a Flail of Terror *(it might be that? I can’t really read my handwriting here. We can think of a cool name)*. Now, we’re getting around to Charlesgorth and Maria. Pernan isn’t there when they get to the shop, so they start looking around and investigating. Suddenly, Pernan appears out of nowhere! Anyway, the giddy old wizard is thrilled to talk about their adventures but can only offer scant advice about the Fey wild things that they saw earlier. On the urging of Charlesgorth and Maria respectively, the pair learn Identify first, and then listen to a riveting story of Charlesgorth’s youth.”

“Is that it?”

“No no no, now we’re with Katamira and Ozy at the *Carlsino*. Both of them are in pretty seriously, trying all sorts of tricks to find information about the traffickers. Ozy sticks to what he knows - Roulette - on which he has over 300 confirmed wins, while Katamira chats up some sailors. Both of them score some vital details. And then we cut back to Getheron, going on a relaxing stroll to get some groceries. What does he get? Well, you know, just the basics - eggs, milk, bread; but also, you’re gonna love this - deli meats and cheeses! The whole time, he’s just trying to make himself a Dagwood. Finally, this is where we cut the episode. Pernan is finishing up a story about the young Gorth, when Paavo walks into the shop, toting his new flail. Pernan cannot help himself - he’s intrigued. He promises Paavo that the next day, they can really do some heavy duty tinkering with it. And **bam**, fade out!”

“...”

“...”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, did you like it?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“What?”

“What do you mean what? Two fucking episodes ago, they had a shopping montage. We literally did ***this exact same thing*** already.”

“I didn’t think, I didn’t know—”

“—Of course you didn’t know, but you know what you do know? Pack up your shit, because you’re motherfucking fired.”