Light Wave Shuriken Man

Gerg is climbing the Warrior's Peak using his Light Wave Shurikens. Suddenly, the Ring of Light manifests next to him and Ultraman Orb appears in it like a window.

**Orb:** Hey, stop climbing my mountain with Light Wave Shurikens!

**Gerg:** Fuck you, I'm climbing your mountain with Light Wave Shurikens!

**Orb:** Why my mountain!?

**Gerg:** Why not your mountain!?

**Orb:** You're cutting up my rocks, asshole!

**Gerg:** I'll cut your rocks all I want! LOOK AT ME GO!

**Orb:** Go Shuriken someone else's mountain!

**Gerg:** That sounds very suggestive!

**Orb:** Suck my dick, get off my mountain!

**Gerg:** What are ya, gay?

**Orb:** It's an expression! **GET THE FUCK OFF MY MOUNTAIN!**

**Gerg:** **NO! FUCK YOU!**

**Orb:** **FUCK YOU!** WHAT'S YOUR NAME!?

**Gerg:** **LIGHT WAVE SHURIKEN MAN!**

**Orb:** My ass! What's your name!?

**Gerg:** **DADADADADA, LIGHT WAVE SHURIKEN MAN, LOOK AT ME GO!**

**Orb:** Get off my goddamn mountain, this instant!

**Gerg:** I can't!

**Orb:** Why the hell not!?

**Gerg:** Can't go down, dumbass! I can only go up!

**Orb:** WHAT!?

**Gerg:** I gotta reach the top and ramp back down!

**Orb:** You can't just turn around?

**Gerg:** **OF COURSE I FUCKING CAN'T, WHAT ARE YA, STUPID!?**

**Orb:** It can't be that hard!

**Gerg:** I don't see you climbing a fucking mountain with Light Wave Shurikens!

**Orb:** Gimme a minute.

Orb disappears from the Ring of Light.

**Gerg:** WHAT'RE YOU DOING!?

Orb reappears, now dual-wielding Origium Saucers.

**Orb:** I HAVE ORIGIUM SAUCERS.

**Gerg:** Oh, this is getting real!

**Orb:** I'm coming for you bitch!

**Gerg:** You are going to kill yourself!

**Orb:** Fuck you, watch me!

Orb jumps out of the Ring of Light, sticks one Origium Saucer into the side of the mountain, loses his grip on it, and falls.

**Gerg:** FOR AN ULTRA, YOU'RE PRETTY FUCKING STUPID.

**Orb:** FUCK YOU, I DIDN'T BECOME A SOURCE OF ULTRA POWERS BY BEING AN IDIOT. I HAVE FOUR DEGREES FROM THE LAND OF LIGHT UNIVERSITY AND I -

The falling Orb hits an Interstellar Union spaceship, crashing it. The Interstellar Union officers outside the ship stop in shock as the Origium Saucer clatters to the ground. They look up the mountain and see Gerg. One of them pulls out a space megaphone.

**Officer:** Hey! Get the fuck down!

**Gerg:** SUCK MY DICK!

**Officer:** This is illegal!

**Gerg:** I know that, but fuck you anyway!

**Officer:** F-Fuck you!

**Gerg:** FUCK YOU!

**Officer:** **FUCK YOU!!**

**Gerg:** HEY, I WROTE YOU A SONG!

**Officer:** ... What?

**Gerg:** It goes a little something like this: *(takes out a harmonica and plays a few notes)* FUCK YOU!

**Officer:** ...**TAKE HIM DOWN.**

The other officer pulls out a blaster, fires it up the mountain, and Gerg falls off of it. He lands on the ground flat on his face, lies there for a few seconds, but gets up unharmed.

**Gerg:** FUCK YOU! You can't kill Light Wave Shuriken Man! LOOK AT ME GO!

Gerg runs off.

The first officer snaps his fingers.

**Officer:** Well Sonofabitch!

Meanwhile, Orb just lies there in the ruins of the wrecked Interstellar Union ship.

**Light Wave Shuriken Man is coming round. My slicing powers have no bounds!**

**Light Wave Shurikens, all yellow and shit! I'm pretty hot, you must admit.**

**Do not test my cutting power, I'll climb the Peak in just an hour!**

**You can't kill me, I'm way too cool.**

**I'M CUTTING YOUR ROCK FORMATIONS FOOL!**

***Shuriken Maaaaaaaaaaaan!***

**Hey, that's me!**

***He's Light Wave Shuriken Maaaaaaaaaaaan!***

**Fuck yeah I am!**

***Go, Light Wave Shuriken Maaaaaaaaaaaa-***

**I have my own theme song!**

***-aa-aaa-aaaaaaaaaaaan!***

**FUCK!**