Season 1

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## 1 - The Coach House: Apple-torch & Password-golems

Offering exotic goods, Merrick Taylor commisioned the group to investigate why a caravan had been held up at The Coach House at Cheddar Creak. The group were taken by carriage, driven by young merchant guild trial member Mildew Jones. Upon arrival, they were accosted by a group of tricky light-sprites who, after taking the illusory form of a wolf, were dispersed by Bernald's equally tricky arcane sprite illusions. After Josiah's brief run-in with two sentry golems and Bernalds apple-torch creak-toss, the group found a pile of four burning dwarven bodies. Eggs, in hawk form divebombed a pissing dwarf into unconsiousness at the cost of being drenched in powerful runic piss. Bernald, meanwhile, had backtracked to try and find a lost and invisible Mildew Jones as Josiah and Gordon chanced a look inside. Bernald stumbled blindly through some tall grass and was almost seen by a large stone Golem, only to be saved by another Eggs hawk-dive. Gordon, after seeing his father's accordian, goes back for a second peek through the window and is seen by the dwarves inside...

## 2 - The slaying of Kraggli dwarves

Chaos ensued. The golem located Eggs and Bernald and launched an attack. Eggs in tree-ent form, Bernald throwing fire and Josian running headfirst into the insulting mohawked dwarf 'Gustav'. Meanwhile, using commotion as a distraction, Gordon ran in behind, into the main tavern and was quickly confronted by three burly looking dwarves. Ripping a sick tune on his lute, he was able to confound one dwarf into slicing the throat of his mate. Eggs in wolf form, smashed through a window and came to his aid. Josiah and Bernald dealt the finishing blows to Gustav as his elder compatriate conjured a large stone and pulled him to safety. Josiah and Bernald finally join the fray in the tavern and close the fight out with a stab to the head and a charm spell on the dwarf Teegu.

Phew!

## 3 - R & R at The Coach House

In which our heroes cleaned up the mess in the coach house under instruction from Nancy. After a brief fruitless stumble through the woods as Bernald searched for Mildew, Teegu made for home but was chased and lost in the river after a drowning Eggs-as-Wolf was rescued by Josiah. The group ate, chatted to Jeremy and headed for some much needed R&R.

## 4 - Boots Floof and Mildew's tartan

In which our heroes met Boots Floof who had found Bernald's apple-torch and Mildew Jones' tartan poncho. After Eggs buries the dead Kraggli dwarves, the group eats Nancys' delightful blood pudding porridge with a cup of tea and Gordon sneaks upstairs to talk to Jeremy who he discovers is a vampire! The group then sets off for Greenskin Barrow, where Mildew is expected to be. Boots agrees to go with Josiah who makes a promise to help find Vanyar Leafkin.

Upon arrival, the group encounters and murders a group of orcs, but not before Gordon tears his hamstring and glutes trying to do the splits.

The episode ends with the last hulking orc on his knees with Bernald and Josiah hodling their weapons to his head.

## 5 - R.I.P Gordon: The Lady at Lake Stingley

In which Borash is intimidated by Josiah and charmed by Bernald. The group discover that Vanyar has been using these orcs to elicit offerings of young humans from forest creatures. Two such humans are suposedly being held as slaves by the orcs but only one can be found in the barrows stone atrium: a young girl called Britney. Josiah kills Borash, Bernald feeds Britney and Gordon solves the riddle to open the barrow's stone door.

Inside, the group are confronted by 8 risen again skeletons who proceed to beat the shit out of them, mostly focusing on Gordon who briefly dies. Josiah and Eggs-Wolf dispatch the last of the skeletons, sending their bones flying to all corners of the room. After the fight, Bernald peforms a magical ritual, harnassing the energy of the room they are in and the Vovana flower he is able to pull Gordon back from the shores of Lake Stingley where he was sitting peacefully next to Lady Death. Bernald paid the price as the right side of his body has become frail and painful.

## 6 - The time-loop lounge

In which our heroes encountered a time-looping room where they could enjoy food, drink and the guarantee that they would re-enter the room in 10 minutes time; picking up the point directly after their fight in the previous room. Here the team learned about the great warlord 'Farouqah', "The Bear Queen" as well as her wizard Crithins, Geema and his 'children' (the blue skinned humans).  After seven loops in the room, the group got naked (naturally), depositing their belongings in a wooden chest which ate them up, but opened the door in return.

In the crypt itself, the group found Mildew grovelling and crying in the lap of Farouqah's statue in which a sat a fine golden javelin, supposedly The Trueshot Javelin. In a melee that followed, two skeletal bears awoke to guard their mistresses tomb. Recovering their gear from a corresponding wooden chest, the team barely (bearly) succeeded in keeping Josiah alive and escaping the barrow. They recovered both Mildew and the Javelin before escaping chased by the Farouqah's statue which started to animate.

All signs of the orcs and Britney were gone.

## 7 - A bandit in the woods and Merrick Taylor's office

In which our heroes make camp in the forest and recover their strength, synthesising what they hard learned so far. Awoken by a would-be assassin, they learned that a contract had made its way into the office of Lord Flimsa Backenfor for consideration. The group let Jackson the toothless bandit on his way and made their way to The Coach House. Here they chatted to the Arnaud's (Jeremy and Nancy) and learned that Merrick Taylor had had his goods recovered and that a dwarf had come round asking for the group, and THAT SEVEN DAYS HAD PASSED! After sleeping over, they headed back to The Roblets.

The team arrive on Crudgyns derby day where all three Roblets teams play each other. They visit Merrick taylor who pays them their coin and gives them their requested treasures.

## 8 - Spot betting on Broad Street and joining The Rovers

In which our group are invited into Merrick's private box to watch the game. They proceeded up Broad Street where Samuel Root warned Eggs about his father and to find Victor Rugglesniff. Gordon entertained the crowd to a rendition of 'Three Rhinos on a Shirt' and the group laid bets on the game, heavily weighted toward the Roblets Mere Rovers.

On arriving at the stadium, Josiah and Bernald infiltrated the Rovers dressing room (charming Simon Cowell) and convinced the captain, Jasper to let them play. Eggs squeezed through the Rhinotaur trapdoor as a ladybug and shed an Elk corpse for the hungry beast to eat. Gordon, meanwhile, had been joined by Happy Backenfor in Merrick Taylor's private box where he ate figs, drank a fine peach zinfandel and (at Merrick's request) played a rendition of a tragic ballad from Reginald D Wight's book of lute songs. He then played a fan favourite Crudgyns anthem and the crowd quickly picked up the tune and a cacophony rang out around the stands.

## 9 - Crudgyns Commence

Bernald in the medic's tower sets about helping The Rovers score some points but is set upon by an assassin.

Josiah is boots on the ground and quickly sets himself apart as a key player in the new look lineup.

Eggs in Rhinotaur form managed to slip the gaze of the animal wranglers / importers and bursts onto the pitch far too early!

***To Season 2 →***