Hang Ten - Part Two

Poster from the Live Show

> "*Can I offer up my virginity to the offering table? I don't know where it is, or where exactly I lost it, but I will offer it up*"
> ― Fraya Love
>
>

**Hang Ten - Part Two** is the sixteenth episode of Queens of Adventure Legends. It is the second half of the Kremwork live show from June 21st, 2018. In it, Booty and the Hofish continue their quest for the lost Surf Queen treasure.

## Summary

The queens of Booty and the Hofish have agreed to descend into the lost tomb of the legendary Surf Queens to find their lost treasure, to save the beach from developers.

###  Test of Glamour

Having defeated a mechanical shark, the queens step through the stone doorway and it slams behind them. There is a narrow wooden walkway over a pit. A rainbow colored vessel appears beside them. The magic mouth announces this will be the test of glamour. The vessel contains items beloved of the Surf Queens. The party adorn themselves with items before catwalking to the other side of the room and through the next door.

### Shrine

They enter another chamber, with a shrine covered in offerings in a pool of light. Fraya casts *light* on her nether regions and casts *find object* to try to locate her lost virginity to offer. The lips say how impressed they are, then admit they've been holding onto a secret. If they listen, the lips will open the inner sanctum.

The queens realize the lips are a jungle red. Arson suggests the lips try a new color. Fraya wipes off the lip with a makeup remover wipe and offers a nice mauve shade. After the makeover, the lips recite a long stream of gossip about Robert, Roger, and Richard in a tongue twister. The queens run with the story for a bit until the lips grow angry and ask them questions to confirm they were listening. Mostly satisfied, the shrine slides away, revealing the final chamber.

Three sarcophagi are in this small room. Their tops are carved in the shapes of a bugbear, aarakocra, and svirfneblin. A beam of light shines through the ceiling onto a pedestal holding a carved peace of driftwood in the shape of a poodle riding a surfboard. Fraya touches Clinkbanger's sarcophagus and asks if she can open it. No response comes, so she shoves it open. An acrid cloud deals poison damage to Fraya.

The queens vaguely recognize the sculpture of the poodle might be the mascot the queens won in the legend. Arson touches it and a wave of energy washes over them, depositing them back in the middle of the weenie roast with the statue.

The bugbear emcee stares at them wish shock. "I don't believe it! You found the legendary Sandy Pooch!" He says it is the proof the beach party people need to declare this place a historic landmark.

#### Sandy Pooch

"Bloody Mary on the Poopdeck!" Humphrey, in a fresh suit, shows up. He reveals he wanted them to find the sculpture, as his ancestors used its powers to try and get rid of the freaks. He summons 'Sandy', a golem made of sand, rock, and shells. The crowd flees, and Humphrey hides in the chaos.

"Let's Go Girls," Fraya says. She opens up her decanter and sprays the golem with water, pushing it back a few feet. Fraya runs behind the golem, followed by Harlotte who uses *mage hand* to pinch a bit of sand, a component of her sleep spell, but it fails to work on the golem. The monster mocks the party.

The people of the beach have all gone into the ocean to get away. The waves begin to churn.

The monster raises its fists to slam them against Fraya and Harlotte and tells them no one wants them here and they will be forgotten. They resist his attempts to scare them.

Arson, invoking her patron, attacks with pact weapon vibrator shaking loose a lot of sand. Butylene dashes forward and casts *arms of the void,* as she mocks the creature.

From out at the sea, the waves rise into columns that take on familiar forms of hundreds of surfing drag queens. Leading them are the shapes of a bugbear, aarakocra, and svirfneblin. The watery bug bear says "A new wave of queens have risen," and encourages the girls to ignore the hateful attitude of the monster and show it you don't care.

A song erupts, uniting party and party people in singing. The power overwhelms the sand creature who decides to ignore its purpose of scaring people off, and joins in the revelry.

From amidst the crowd, a halfling in a suit and tie approaches. He admires the gorgeous show, and explains he is a surveyor from the local Historical Society. He slaps a giant 'Historical' sticker to the beach. Fraya changes it to 'herstorical'. Humphrey rages impudently. Fraya dumps water on him.

The bugbear emcee brings a pail of treasure to hire them for a monthly gig.

### Characters

####  Party

* Arson Nicki - drow warlock
* Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist
* Fraya Love - water genasi cleric
* Harlotte O'Scara - human rogue

#### NPcs

* Magic Mouth
* Bugbear Host
* Humphrey Silvercheeks
* Humphrey's bodyguards
* Surf Queens (debut)
	+ Spikefang
	+ Wormswallow
	+ Clinkbanger (renamed Queensimodo)
* Surveyor from the Historical Society (debut)

#### Live Show Roles

* DM Matt
* Dice Boy Bolt
* DJ Robosex Homosex

## Episode Notes

###  Lore

* Centuries ago, the legendary Surf Queens came to this beach to make it their homes. After years of partying, the Yacht Club tried to take it away. The queens triumphed and took the enchanted poodle sculpture the Yacht Club used against them. They left clues to where their vault was hidden in the hopes of worthy queens finding it in the future.

### Inspiration Earned

* Harlotte - twirling her ponytail.
* Butylene - for knowing she's carrying
* Fraya - using *dancing lights* on her nether region
* Arson - using her pact weapon.
* Arson - for soiling Humprey's clothes
* Fraya - lighting up her breast with *light*

### Memorable Quotes

* "RUDE! You don't know me!" \*shady rattlesnake noise\* "Okay you do." - Fraya Love
* "Richard and Robert went to the low self-esteam-works." - Harlotte O'Scara
* "Ancient Alien Astronauts say yes!" - "Take a shot!" - Harlotte O'Scara and Fraya Love
* "I mean they're still dead but I'd still like to ask for consent." - Arson Nicki
* "Necromance isn't dead." - Butylene O'Kipple
* "I don't speak white people!" - Fraya Love
* "I have never recalled anyone! I've never recalled..." "You can't even recall the start of that sentence!" - Fraya Love and DM Matt
* "This is why vaguebooking pays off. Everyone's on your side and you don't even have to be edgy." - Butylene O'Kipple
* "This is no time to fall apart! We need strength. It's Pride time. I need to spend time with my sisters." - Butylene O'Kipple

### References

* Oprah Winfrey's "You Get a Car" moment and the "Bees!" meme
* Tomb Raider - Lara Croft's short shorts and triangular rendered breasts
* Jessica Tandy
* Chamber of Secrets
* Shaft
* Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
* Jem and the Holograms "Showtime Synergy"
* Dune
* Samantha Jones from Sex and the City
* Mrs Weasley's "Not My Daughter You Bitch!"
* Sailor Moon
* TLC
* Golden Girls
* You Can't Do That on Television

### Name That Tune

* "Bug A Boo" - Destiny's Child
* "Science Fiction Double Feature" and "Over at the Frankenstein Place" - Rocky Horror Picture Show
* "Touch It" - Monifah
* "This Is A Song for the Lonely" - Cher
* "Man, I Feel Like a Woman" - Shania Twain
* "Shake It Off" - Taylor Swift
* "Waterfalls" - TLC
* "I Love It" - Icona Pop (finale lip synch)

## Behind the Queens

* This episode was originally released as the second bonus episode.
* In the mid-episode break, Matt congrats Arson and Londyn for their achieving membership in the twitch Stream Queens community.
* Harlotte references her mage hand being called Jessica Tandy, which comes from a podcast episode not yet released when this live show was recorded, nor when the episode was released as a bonus episode.
* The Magic Mouth's gossip was originally planned for the Tea Room in the Halloween Show: "The Mystery of LaBouche Gardens". However, Harlotte stole the item that was going to be the prize for the challenge before the gossip could be given.
* The swimsuit Arson wore was given to her by Londyn Bradshaw.

**Enter the Wigsnatch** - Part One -- Part Two
**Day of the Lepus** - Part One -- Part Two
**Live Panels** -- RuPaul's DragCon 2018 -- Minneapolis LIVE: Gaylaxicon 2019 -- PAX West 2019
**The Pernicious Poisoning of Peachblossom** Part One -- Part Two
**QoA x NeoScum**: Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part Two
**Hang Ten**: Part One -- **Part Two**
**Geekhaus Live**: Part One - Part Two
**Emerald Forest Adventure Con**: Part One - Part Two
**Children of the Cornball**: Part One - Part Two
**Seattle in Chicago**: Part One - Part Two