Careers Cornered! (Summary)

Introduced by Guitarist and Replacement House Band Ryan Gabrinettie, Paula and Adam Interview Frank Buckley on the topic of Journalism, and Hector Garcia on the topic of High-Rise Windowcleaning. Adam Felber, (who is on every show), has a Cold.

## 'Careers Cornered'

### Air date

December 2018

* Paula makes a Balloon Sculpture of a botanist (and listener) ruining a sample while listening to 'Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone,' and Adam notes that over the course of their first few episodes, Paula has supposedly progressed to the point where she can tie a balloon into a knot.
* The Cast has also received a letter from Episcopal Priest Ordanjoe White, on the topic of a previous episode in which Paula suggested the reason Mary was not allowed in the Inn was due to her prolonged and violent labor. (At which point Paula noted that they've likely lost their clergy demographic.) On the contrary, White says that his reaction was to consider how he could incorporate the idea into a Christmas pageant. He adds that he has not spotted Thomas Coine in the bread aisle of a local convenience store.
* Listeners have continued to report various locations that Thomas Coine isn't, including:
	+ The Bureau of Motor Vehicles in Bowling Green Kentucky
	+ The entirety of Okinawa, Japan.
	+ The Royal Kuniah of a Hawaiian Walmart's Baby Food Aisle
	+ Magnetic Island, Australia
	+ The Film 'Mama Mia,' with a score by famous Swedish disco pop band 'ABBA'
* ...Once again, Adam baselessly points out the fact that not only is this method of searching unlikely to turn up Thomas Coine, but that none of their listeners, (nor Paula Poundstone), even know what Thomas Coine looks like.
* Adam also reveals that a Nobody has edited his article on Wikipedia to suggest that in 2018, he started co-hosting 'Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone,' in which he appears on every show. For some reason, Adam still finds this offensive. As of 2022, this has not been changed.
* Eventually, Paula and Adam interview Expert Guest Frank Buckley to determine whether Paula could become a Newscaster, in which Adam immediately attempts to infect Buckley with his raging cold. Paula summarizes his advice as follows:

> *"The key to being a good news anchor is to be in the moment, and authentic! When you switch topics, like from the South Pasadena high production of Annie to a bridge collapse, it's called a 'hard turn.' You can't start a news story and drift into another topic- now that's going to be hard for me, because I like to relate to stories! I was sick like Adam once. I had the swine flu. People ask me how I knew it was the swine flu, and I tell them it's because I woke up in a frying pan with two eggs beside me!*
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* Subsequently, Paula and Adam interview High-Rise Window washer Hector Garcia, who is afraid of heights, and summarizes his advice as follows:

> *"To be a high-rise window washer, you have to be calm, and efficent. I dunno how good I'd be at that- even when I wash my backdoor windows, I yell, 'God-damn it, there's streaks!' and I bounce around in the wind as I work slowly. On the other hand, while I've never worked on a swing-stage before, I've made a stage swing! And when you wash a tall building, you start at the top, and work your way towards the bottom- and my Career has had some experience with that!"*
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* The show concludes with a lengthy argument between Paula and Adam on whether their new shirts, (which contain a quote from a previous episode regarding refraining from dealing with orthodontists building decks or sending their children to college), in which Paula concludes that such arguments are, in fact, not merely able to cause relational strife between married couples, but the main source of said infidelities.