Zachary has an important discussion with Lady Lim

Characters in this scene: Zachary, Lady

Setting Location: Sanctuary

Swaygze07 — 03/25/2021

Zachary swings his staff furiously, pretending that the emotionless stone statue in front of him is an enemy. Each thrust and jab ends inches away from the statue, a distance that he's keeping to avoid damaging it. He's gone through so many combat drills at this point that they're starting to repeat on each other, but that's not important. It's just the staff, and him, and nothing else.

The night is cold outside of Sanctuary, and he's freezing in his t-shirt and shorts, but he embraces the sensation. Better to focus on his numb fingers and the scant warmth generated by movement than to think right now. Maybe if he freezes solid out here, he won't have to feel the hot press of tears in his eyes, or the lump in his throat. He's not crying. He's *not*.

He brings the staff around in a 360 degree spin and drives it into the side of the statue.

*Crack!*

The quarterstaff breaks.

It takes a moment for him to realize what has happened. The wood has broken, one end of it bent off in an odd angle. Jagged edges poke out on the sides. The crack runs several inches deeper into the wood.

Zachary just broke his own quarterstaff. The one that he's had with him for the past six years. The one that he carved for himself, that he has poured blood into by carving, and later sweat and tears through consistent daily practice. The one that has seen him through everything.

Until now, of course. Because *idiot* that he is, he's ruined that, too.

It's now that he starts crying.

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

The chill in the air dissipates, at a slow but steady rate over the next several minutes - likely unnoticed by the crying young man now crouched by the stone statue. A light amount of humidity seems to permeate the grounds closest to the hotel and the windows find themselves fogged up. Distant sounds dampen to Zachary's ears, but it's not him it's the world that surrounds him. The pocket dimension that is the Lady's demesne.

Quiet, gentle footsteps - in no particular hurry sound in the distance, just a little muted. This area seems to have much more privacy than it did before, despite it being on the open grounds.

Lady walks, two feet away from Zachary on the other side of the statue and sits down, her back against the stone. By now, the area has warmed up as if it was daytime.

"Long day, Master Zachary?" She asks, her voice calm.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

Zachary sniffles. "Who... who are you?"

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"Ah yes, we have not formerly met. I go by, 'The Lady of House Lim' but I think tonight I shall just be Christine. This is my home and I am the one who employs Justin, who kindly did your intake as I was kept busy with other matters. I apologize we have not met before this point, though I have rather enjoyed your posts on Oh-Em-Oh."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"You know, don't you? You should've seen the post by now. You know everything."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"Of course. I don't know everything, but I do know a lot. That's the price of age, I think." Lady says, there's something sad in her voice though.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

Zachary slumps down onto the other side of the statue. "Are you mocking me? Did you come here to do that?"

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"Not at all. I'm here to be by your side. You looked like you could use a friend."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"No I don't," Zachary says. "Don't need anyone now."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"I did not say, 'you look like you want a friend' I said it looked like you could use one. I am aware you are better at arguing with the Spirits more than most - elsewise you wouldn't be able to play that dreadful game I've heard from the lounge without losing all access to Practice in a week."

"But I still urge you to be careful, when any person gets emotional and is hurt we have a tendency to not watch what we say...and as Practitioners that is much too big a risk. Here in Sanctuary, where I am the Lady and it has been Established in this Demesne's foundations that this is a place where young people can make mistakes - you needn't be concerned as much. I just wish to let you know this for the future."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"I'm not --" Zachary reconsiders the statement, and falls silent. Nothing that Christine said was wrong, but there's something about it that he can't help but want to challenge. "Are you *sure?"* It's the best retort that he can think of at the moment.

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

Christine sighs, resting her back against the statue. "As your Host, I decline your challenge and will likely decline any other challenges - this is not to say you are right or wrong, but to simply say I myself am tired, invoking grace, and should you want that or any debate, we can defer it to tomorrow."

"I swear this oath. For the next two hours I will do my best to be your friend, ally, and co-conspirator. I am here of my own volition and have chosen to be as kind a person to you as I wish I myself had when my cousin..." Christine's voice stops, breaking just a little at the end, then continues, "When my cousin was *taken* from me and his family."

Her voice is stronger after another short pause, "This place of peace does not exist in a vacuum, it exists because young people - such as yourself - sometimes *need* other people to be beside them. You seem to be lacking in trusted confidantes, thus, I am here."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"Sounds like you have bigger problems to worry about. Your cousin's dead, my family's all alive, I'm doing much better than you on that count," Zachary says sharply.

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"Again, please watch your words...all of my cousins are dead besides the one, who was technically *Subsumed* by an Other. But your sentence could be construed to any of my cousins thankfully, unbeknownst to you. In fact, all of my family but me are dead." She says, there is no sadness in her voice this time, just understanding.

"I admit this all to you, baring my family history as a way to hopefully show you I am on your side. I wish you health, wellness, wholeness - happiness, peace, and joy. It is not in my interest to deceive, trick, or make fun of you." Lady continues, trying to project her earnestness into her voice.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

Zachary starts tapping his foot agitatedly against the ground. "What else could you be here for? You know -- you probably know what Jess said about me. Anyone on OMO can see it. The post is still up there."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"I believe it's deleted, though you and me know in this day and age that means only a little."

"Take a moment and please, I ask you to contemplate the words I said. The clarity in which I said them and the oath I took. You should know as well as any Practitioner the power of an oath. It is not lightly taken."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"Hnnng."

Fine, he'll think about it, but Zachary doesn't want to give Christine the last word here. He glowers out across the garden.

He's had plenty of people tell him that all they wanted was for him to be happy, and then go back on those words. None of them have been Practitioners, though. Zachary isn't sure whether that makes a difference. He knows as well as anything that there are ways to weasel out of strictly truth-telling, without directly lying. Any Practitioner or Other that survives long enough might as well be assumed to have the capacity to lie, for everything that they are able to do with implications and omissions and half-statements and metaphor.

He pulls his staff in closer to himself. For a split second, he wonders why the weight of it feels off, and then remembers what got him into this conversation with Lady in the first place. Breaking the damn thing.

And then he can't help himself, and he's crying again.

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"May I fix that for you? If I had a conventional technique, I would show you how and have you do it yourself, but what I would do requires both *power* and a very specific set of skills." Lady says, her voice soothing.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"What do you want to do to it?"

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"I would use my specialty, Chronomancy to metaphoricaly 'turn back time.'" She says. Her voice suddenly sounds very serious.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"And?"

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"It should be as whole as it was before you broke it."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

Zachary hugs the staff closer to himself. He wipes his nose with his hand, and then his hand on the ground below. "Will there be any other effects?"

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"A minor perturbance of Fate that should clear up in a day or two."

She looks thoughtful for a moment, "There is another option, where you could be more part of the process?"

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"What is *that* supposed to mean?"

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"Have you heard of the Japanese concept of *Kintsugi*?"

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

A noncommittal grunt.

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"Would you mind if I explained what *Kintsugi* means to me, acknowledging that I am an outsider to that culture as Chinese and Filipino?"

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"Not if it's *Japanese*," Zachary mutters. "Do you even know what Japan has *done* to Taiwan?"

He's sure that they've done something, even if he can't think of exactly what it is right now. Dad's spent enough time talking about it that there has to be something objectionable there.

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"I do. They did something very similar to the Philippines. And yet that does not mean we cannot enjoy the peaceful fruits of their culture."

"Not to argue - but to offer, I am sure you've enjoyed video games made by Japanese companies?" Lady asks, honestly inquisitive.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"FromSoftware, Square Enix," Zachary recites. "FromSoftware did the Souls series. Square Enix does FFXIV. Then there's Capcom, and Sony and Nintendo too, those are the really well known ones."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"Ooh." Lady says, interested, "I don't play many video games, but Final Fantasy 7 helped get me through a very dark time."

Lady waves vaguely at Sanctuary, "We didn't always have internet here. Can you imagine?" she laughs a little.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

Zachary blinks in surprise. "No internet...? How old are you, even?"

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"36, technically - although my body hasn't aged much since nearly a decade ago due to the Practice."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"The internet isn't *that* new, is it?"

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"Like many things, the internet has a history. Modern internet, accessible to many and not just a few? Relatively new."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"Oh," Zachary says.

He knows, of course, that there was a time before the internet. His family started off with a single massive, chunky desktop computer when he was 10, and the devices have only accumulated since then. His parents loved to talk about the time before widely available internet, mostly to compare what they did as children to what they saw as him wasting the precious hours of his childhood to gaming. And yet it still surprises him when people talk about times before laptops, before smartphones, before even regular internet access at home.

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"I admit I am telling you a little bit all of this for a few reasons:

One, to let you know you are not the only enjoyer of video games here and show that we have some common ground - even if it is tangential.

Two, to show there are perhaps some good aspects of Japanese culture we can enjoy.

And three, eventually - whether tonight in this conversation or some other time down the road, I would like to tell you that there are things I may know about the way of life due to my age, not to lecture you, but to maybe give you some hope."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"I don't actually care about Japan that much," Zachary admits. "They haven't done anything to me personally."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

Lady simply nods, not challenging, "Do you think it would be okay if what I explain what Kintsugi means to me? I think you may enjoy the concept, even - and we could make your staff even stronger than it was today - stronger in a way you want it to be."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"Fine."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"If you can forgive the educator in me, I'll quickly talk about what it's not. It's not Chronomancy - while I could technically undo the damage you did to your staff, while it may externally be fixed - *you* would know it was broken once and why and that would have an effect on how you used it, even if it was physically the same as it was before."

"There's a dissonance, then perhaps, even if it only exists in your head. That's because we know that the concept of things - objects, people - 'breaking' is natural to the way of life."

"That is the beauty of *Kintsugi* - which translates roughly to 'golden joining' - instead of trying to cover up the fact that something has been broken, we honor the breaking as part of the object's history. We mend and repair the object - not with the missing material but traditionally, with gold or at least golden paint."

"In a way it's a celebration, in a way it's an honoring of that which is most important to us."

Lady produces a small, simple bowl from somewhere on her person.

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

She presents it to Zachary, to take a look.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

Zachary takes the bowl, running his fingers over the area where ceramics and gold meet. The bowl is broken; he can *see* that it is broken... and that's the point.

For a moment, he feels a wild urge to fling this across the grounds of Sanctuary. If nothing else can tear off the mask that Christine has undoubtedly been putting on for this, that should do it. Then she'll go back from whatever this conversation has been to calling him a failure. Predictable ground, if nothing else.

No, even he can see what a stupid idea that is. Zachary hastily hands the bowl back to Christine before he can do anything to it.

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"You could have thrown it, it would have been okay." Christine says, her voice a little small, "In my head I'm picturing you as my beloved cousin - 4 days older than me and never let me forget it. He could burn this whole place to the ground and I would still love him."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"What -- of course not," Zachary says. How does Christine know what he's been thinking? He barely even knows what he's thinking, sometimes. "It means something to you. Probably."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"It means the world to me." Christine says, "But I truly believe the young deserve their right to make their own mark on this world - to preserve it if they choose, yes, to destroy it if they need to, or even to create it anew should they desire."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"I don't -- *want* to do something like that."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

Lady pauses, quiet, "...then what do you want?" She asks. There's absolutely no judgement in her voice.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

Zachary shrugs. "You know. Stuff."

He pauses for a while. "House, job, car, isn't that the standard thing to want?"

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

Lady almosts finds herself asking, "Is It?" but stops herself. Questioning Zachary hasn't led to many positive results tonight. Instead, she decides to place herself at his mercy yet again.

"Please, search your heart a little bit and answer that question again."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

Zachary stops to think. The silence stretches on for a while, and he drums his fingers against his leg.

"I don't know," he admits. "I used to want to be a doctor like Jess. She's my sister, you know. Columbia, Stanford, did it all. And then I thought that I could do astrophysics, because that stuff's cool. But then Dad said that academia doesn't pay that well, and it's hard to be employed in that. And look at me now, high school diploma and nothing else. Forget about being employed in academia, I don't even know if I can learn that stuff now."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

The silence is a welcome one, Lady not putting any pressure on Zachary as he came to his own conclusions.

She just nodded at his response, again with no judgement.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"I just -- I'm supposed to have gotten somewhere, and I never did. Too stupid, not disciplined enough, I just can't stick to things. Practice is the only thing I've kept up and, I don't know, it's different. If I don't stick with it, I die, or worse."

Zachary takes the broken staff and rolls it against his legs. No fancy tricks now. Just something to occupy his hands as he speaks.

"Practice -- Ogre magic, whatever you call it -- is supposed to be my thing. At least if nothing else, I can beat up my enemies. And then Jess came in on OMO, I don't even know how she did it, and, just, I don't know. She said stuff."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

Lady nods, continuing to listen. "I want you to keep on following this train of thought because I think it is productive for you but on two conditions. The first is that you be as kind to yourself as you were to this bowl," Lady says, as if to emphasize she places the bowl in Zach's hands, offering to hold the staff for a moment if he'd like to, "If you can, imagine that as more fragile than it is - like a bird's egg you've been entrusted with, as you talk."

"The second condition is that you watch what you say. Again I remind the Spirits that I am the Lady of this Hotel and it is Established that young practitioners are allowed to make mistakes here with little to no consequence as they are supposed to grow and learn while here."

Lady explains, "You are very much, not 'too stupid,' for any of those things you mentioned. Please do not argue with me on that point, but just go on."

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

Zachary takes the bowl again, and gingerly offers the broken quarterstaff to Christine. "But I am though! If I was smarter I'd be done with college already!"

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

Lady offers Zachary no argument, reminding him of her earlier proclamation of not accepting any Challenges. She instead simply holds his staff with reverence, as if it was worth as much to her as it meant to him. She sat and was silent, ready to listen.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"If I was smarter my parents might be proud of me," Zachary continues, much quieter than before. "I know Jess can have calls with them every week. Dad sometimes calls, but Mom never does. And Jess only calls me... I actually saw her text messages right when she sent them today. I was going to answer but I was doing something else and I forgot."

He cradles the bowl in his arms.

"Jess doesn't even know the full of what happened. I let her think I got catfished because it was easier to tell her that then to say that a Hangmaiden almost got me. Better to let her think I almost got together with a guy than..."

Zachary sighs. "I had to kill her, you know? Vivian. The Hangmaiden. She tried to eat me so I had to kill her and sometimes I still dream that I have her blood on my hands. And now people on OMO think I'm..." he trails off. "I don't know what they think. It can't be good."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

Lady simply nods, attentive and obviously taking Zachary's words in. She elects not to respond, though Zachary gets a clear sense she wouldn't talk unless he asked her to. She just sits in companionable silence, cradling the staff in her hands.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

"I'm not doing drugs and crime at least. Jess is wrong about that. Jess is wrong about a lot of things, actually," Zachary says. "She's a real busybody when she wants to be. No sense of privacy at all. I should have known that she remembered my password."

Zachary looks at Christine. "Did you see her post on OMO? That one where she said everything about me? You never actually said."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"I did," Christine admits. "It further informed me about who you are but it never changed my view point of you. Would it be alright if I told you what I see in you?"

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

Zachary cringes. "You know what -- fine. Go ahead."

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

"I see someone who is really kind, who has not yet learned how to show it."

"I see someone who is really courageous and forward thinking, who cares about their friends even as they're not sure how to even make them."

"I see someone who has all the essential traits to be a good, successful, and amazing human being, if a person who may also never fit the boxes that other people want them to fit in."

"I see this person as *essential* to this world as any other - no greater than, but certainly no less than any other human being I know."

Lady looks Zachary in the eyes as she says the above, her gaze or tone of voice never wavering. She entirely serious. If Zachary's first instinct might be to negate what she's saying with self-criticism, his earlier attempts of that - and how Lady responded - are fresh in his mind.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

Zachary freezes. He's not sure how to respond.

*Lies*, one part of him whispers. *She's lying to make you feel better.*

*She's a Practitioner, she can't lie at all,* another part thinks.

"I, um, thank you. I don't know how you see that, but whatever, I guess." He looks around. "Um, I don't want to be rude, but I should go. I have a thing tomorrow with Seafoam and it's going to suck if I stay up all night. For the staff, I can spend a few days working on other things. I really should brush up on my knifework. We can get to that some other time."

He holds his hand out in a wave. "Bye? I guess?"

The Lady of House Lim — 03/26/2021

Lady bows deeply, towards Zachary, offering him the staff if he wants it back for the interim.

"I promise to you and to the Spirits, on all my Power and Practice - that above and beyond the Oath of Solomon that tonight I have done my best to not just tell the truth, but to have been transparent with you and spoken only that which I believed deeply in my heart."

Lady smiles and it is brilliant as if the sun itself, "You will find your way with or without me, but I wold be honored if we were to talk again and soon. I would like to help you fix your staff using the base idea of Kintsugi but go further and solidify it as a tool you can use once again, with more effective. Perhaps not with gold, but if you take me up on this offer, you will find we have a variety of materials both symbolic and inherently magical."

"I wish you wellness Zacary...and should you have trouble with nightmares specifically, Sanctuary offers a number of relatively safe solutions. It is my opinion you've gone through enough stress for one day - if not a week, a month, or a year."

"Much love to you and yours." Lady concludes.

Swaygze07 — 03/26/2021

Zachary bows and takes the staff back.