Amey Kamat Gets An Anal Probe

**"Amey Kamat Gets an Anal Probe"** is the first episode of Season One and the debut episode of Amey Kamat : The Series, excluding The Unaired Pilot, from which it spawned. It first aired on August 13, 1997.[1]

## Synopsis

While the boys are waiting for the school bus, Amey Kamat explains the odd nightmare he had the previous night involving alien visitors abducting him and probing him when he went to bed. Amey;s friends, Emily Wichmer and Steven Smith, try to convince him that his dream was a reality. Meanwhile, aliens abduct Peter Plummer.

## Plot

At the very beginning of the episode, Amey details his dream of him being abducted by aliens and receiving an anal probe. The others try to convince him it was real, but Amey assumes they are just trying to scare him. Chef then pulls up and asks the boys if they saw a visitor spaceship, inadvertently confirming the reality behind Amey's "dream". Chef is also wearing a T-shirt with a picture of an alien "visitor" on the back with the word "Believe", scaring Amey even more. As Chef leaves, the school bus arrives, introducing Ms. Sun, a scary-looking, loudmouthed, middle-aged school bus driver who constantly tells the children to "Sit down and shut up!" As the bus is driving away, Emily looks back and sees his brother Peter, being held by two visitors.

Meanwhile, Officer Carol Blazier investigates another cow mutilation on Farmer's farm. Several other visitors try to lure away cows by whistling and offering straw. The cows are not falling into the trap as several aliens have turned them inside out. Carol explains that a cow turning inside out is nothing unusual, clearly revealing that he is an incompetent law officer. Also, when helicopters fly by, and the farmer asks what they were, Carol says they were pigeons.

The boys are now at school. Worried about his brother and how his parents will react, Emily asks Ms. Hepburn if he can be excused from school to find his brother. Ms. Hepburn tells Kyle he has to ask his hand puppet, Mr. Hat, this is when Ms. Hepburn and Mr. Hat's shared catchphrase of, "You go to heck! You go to heck and you die!" is introduced. Amey laughs at Emily and ends up farting fire at one of the children, Oliver Brown.

After class, the four are standing in line for lunch. Amey is still farting fire. Audrey LeesHaines, who, as Amey explains, "Steven wants to kiss," walks up to Steven, and Steven vomits on her several times out of nervousness. She gives Steven a note asking him to meet her at Saint Louis Pond after school. When the boys reach the front of the line, Emily asks Chef what to do when someone does not believe you. Chef breaks out into a sultry, erotic, but an off-topic song about him "making love to a woman by the fire".

After being told visitors abducted Emily's brother, Chef freaks out and says, "What the heck do you think you are doing in school eating Salisbury steak? Go find him, dang it!" A cyclops-like robot then pops up from behind Amey and quickly retreats from whence it came, this ends up being the anal probe from Amey's "dream". To help the children find Emily's brother, Chef pulls down the fire alarm.

When the children get out of school, Amey still doesn't believe that he has gotten an anal probe from the visitors. While insisting that he not be under mind control, a beam from above hits him out of nowhere as he suddenly sings "*I Love to Singa*". The children use this as proof that visitors are controlling Cartman. Cartman, in all ignorance, still disagrees with their idea.

Just then, a spaceship appears. Emily demands that they return Ike. In response, the aliens blast Arika with a star-shaped object. Which causes Arika to fly into the street, and he appears to be dead. Steven and Emily respond by saying, "Oh my God! They killed Arika!" "You idiot!" for the first time. Arika, however, isn't dead yet. He stands up, only to have the herd of cattle that ran away from Jenkins' farm trample him. Kenny is still alive after this. Officer Carol Blazier finally kills him, in pursuit of the cattle, by running him over in his police car. Despite this, Amey still denies that the visitors are real and that Kenny is dead. He decides to go home.

Steven and Emily go to Saint Louis Pond to meet Audrey, although Emily wants to keep looking for Peter. Audrey shows up, and Steven vomits when she speaks to him. Emily tells Audrey what happened to his brother, and she suggests that they use Amey as bait to draw the aliens back.

To lure the visitors back, Steven, Emily, and Audrey tie Amey up to a tree. After Amey farts flames several times, an 80-feet wide satellite dish protrudes from his rectum. After the visitor spaceships show up, Ike is revealed when a door on the ship opens. Emily gets Peter to jump from the ship by telling him to do his impersonation of David Caruso's career. Before boarding their spaceship, the visitors talk to the cows. The visitors tell the cows that they are the most intelligent life form that they found on Planet Earth. The cows want to know why they turned some of their cow friends inside, tells him to do his impersonation of David Caruso's career. Before boarding their spaceship, the visitors talk to the cows. The visitors tell the cows that they are the most intelligent life form that they found on Planet Earth. The cows want to know why they turned some of their cow friends inside out; the visitors explain that it was "Carl's fault, he's new" and give them a device that makes people sing. Before leaving, the visitors abduct Amey again.

Meanwhile, Officer Carol Blazier find the cows and demands them to come back, but the cows use the device the visitors made on him and make him sing *I Love To Singa*.

The next morning, Amey falls from the sky and lands at the bus stop. One of his eyes is red. He immediately describes to Steven and Emily a "dream" he had about getting pinkeye from Scott Baio aboard the alien spacecraft.