Enzo Virpiani

**Enzo Virpiani** (born 10 October 1981) was a salesman, pimp and the leader of The Furry Army. Enzo was known for his ownership of classic vehicle import dealership VPN's Garage from 2009 to 2014, and of Vintage Haven, a shop in Enzo's hometown of Gilmoure, Cohnar, that sold vintage goods. Additionally, he was an enforcer for Desmond and the Illuminati.

Enzo served as one of the two protagonists in VPN's Videopeek #53 and the main antagonist in To A Top Bloke's Top Bloke.

## Biography

### *VPN's Videopeek #53*

In December 2013, Enzo found himself in the middle of the Shelian desert, near the Swanthian border. After trekking hundreds of miles through the desert, Enzo discovered a mysterious hat blocking his path. He wore the hat and promptly recieved a call from a man who claimed to be 'Dover Engineering Stillhon Man', who ordered Enzo to climb steps through a hamlet and follow a breadcrumb trail of dildos.

Dover Engineering Stillhon Man (*Desmond*) expressed distaste in Enzo and his associate, Jon Silver, who had both previously named him 'The Automaton'. As a result, the man explained how he rebelled against their power and became independent. Revealing himself as a tentacled-monster with a highly technological lair, Enzo came across a corpse on a medical table similar to himself, who Desmond referred to as 'Enzo v1.0'.

Desmond describes that during Enzo's drunken fling with his friend Derek, Enzo's former girlfriend Joyce Barrett was watching, giving Desmond the opportunity to kill her given how devastated and distracted she was over the affair. Desmond explained that he had a new plan for Enzo, and knocked him unconscious before extracting him from Cohnar to Shellas, where he was programmed into a 'new Enzo'. To put Enzo's reincarnation to the test, Desmond revealed how it was him who deposited Enzo near the Swanthian border to make him trek through the desert. Furthermore, Desmond explained that Enzo, along with businessmen Ralph Enfield and Neil Litmann, were now aides to Desmond's world domination plans, which involved taking over the Crimson and Moonstone corporations.

Desmond then showed Enzo his 'Marsciterian Storage', a collection of glass-box-encapsulated girls and women of Marsciterian heritage, including the last-standing member of The Townies pop group, Neesa Alawar. Here Desmond granted Enzo the opportunity to take a Marsciterian for his keeping, Medaha Yoloswag, but Enzo must be sodomized by a camel in exchange, which Enzo agreed to.

Before bidding farewell to Enzo and Medaha, Desmond ordered both of them to ensure they attend Crimson and Moonstone-organised events, such as birthday parties or New Year's Eve celebrations, where they should place trackers on cars and phones of the members of such organisations to allow Desmond to ultimately enslave them. Enzo leaves Desmond's lair with Medaha as they both set about their new lives together.

### *To A Top Bloke's Top Bloke*

After the closure of VPN's Garage, Enzo left Alterra for Nakti - a technologically-underdeveloped planet in contrast to Alterra. Here, he began to develop a video game, something discovered by Alterrans and much to their distaste. However, most notably, he created a Furry Army whose aims were to convert every dimension into perverted and ravaging furries.

As a result, Enzo and Medaha Yoloswag's arrival at Luke Enfield's birthday party creates scepticism and division among guests. The two of them diverge from the rest of the group by watching a video from Mark Davison's video collection, Juhra Girl, a spoof in which Medaha is shot and brutally murdered by Mark. Initially, Enzo is outraged by the video, but eventually believed he enjoyed it, hailing the action scenes as something he liked a lot. Shortly after, Enzo recieves his mail-ordered Juhra girls, one of them being Beigebra Yoloswag while the other resembled Juwanatickle Engineering. However, the latter reveals herself to be Neesa Alawaar, who intended to bring back The Townies band alone. She partakes in an impromptu concert outside, where she is killed by Hector Vercoe, much to Enzo's sorrow.

Deeply angry, Enzo retaliates and kidnaps Caitlin Colijn and Karen Doyle and takes them to the attic where they are restrained by Medaha and Beigebra. Enzo demands that the gang agree to become inhabitants of Nakti, Enzo's other planetary home, or risk death at the hands of his army of furries. After witnessing Christine Hart's transformation into a furry and refusing to abide by Enzo's demand, the furry army attacks the gang, knocking unconcious both Luke and Mark.

Luke wakes up in a room with Enzo and Medaha Yoloswag. Explaining how the body of a Marsciterian was Enzo's base for the creation of Naktians, Enzo tells Luke that he shall experience the sexual company of Medaha while he tends to other matters. However, Luke expresses distaste in having sex with Medaha and says that he'd rather do the same to the corpse of Anmin Phúng. Luke is shocked upon witnessing the live corpse of Anmin entering the room, which Enzo has made possible from the work of his team of scientists from Nakti. Enzo and Medaha leave Luke, resulting in Luke having to experience the company of Anmin's corpse.

Luke and Mark (as *John Phoenix* and *Denver Kane*) find Enzo and his furry army again in the attic, where Enzo greets Luke with a birthday 'cake' in the form of Anthony Wright's severed head that he had found earlier following his death, considering it is Luke's birthday after all. Immediately, Luke jumps to the conclusion that Enzo killed Tony, however Enzo strongly denies this. Nevertheless, Luke demands the safe return of Caitlin and Karen, yet Enzo reveals that the school bus had whisked them off to their safety at school. To make up for his loss, Enzo captured Nicole Faulkner and Chrissie, the latter of which has evolved into a full furry. Angered, Luke and Mark attempt to shoot Enzo, however Luke misses and takes out a furry while Mark finds his gun unloaded following its usage in killing Medaha in an earlier escape. In the ensuing struggle, Enzo escapes. As Mark tends to a furrified Chrissie, Luke takes Nicole to set off in hot pursuit of Enzo.

Over the loss of Medaha, Enzo flirts and kisses Beigebra, and they are discovered by Luke alone. As Enzo runs away, Luke gets a clear shot of him, however, his aim is knocked by an everlasting chase between Michael and Anmin. Luckily for Luke, the chase is intercepted by Bernie Rickard in his Smord Ocean he had crashed previously, where he kills Beigebra yet only gives minor injuries to Michael, Anmin and Enzo. Enzo escapes by motorcycle, and Gregory King demands that Luke doesn't let Enzo get away. Mark suddenly comes to the aid of Luke under his other alter ego of *Frank Tarren*, where he is able to prevent Enzo from escaping through the use of a grenade launcher. However, much to Luke's vexation, the weapon actually fires Luke's stuffed dog Ronnie Rottweiler instead, who possesses Greg's voice. He bombs Enzo's motorycle, leaving him with extreme burns.

As Enzo emerges from the flames, Luke fires three rounds into Enzo's back, but before he can finish him off, he is obstructed by the presence of Alex and Bruno who stomp Enzo to death instead. Irritated yet again, Luke attempts to argue with them but they are interrupted by the emergence of Enzo's ghost. Enzo vows to have revenge once he finds the ability to build a portal from Nakti to Alterra again in future. Then, he walks away and disappears into the abyss.

## Appearances

* VPN's Videopeek #53
* To A Top Bloke's Top Bloke

## Trivia

* Enzo claimed to dislike public displays of affection.
* It was believed that Enzo suffered from multiple sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including, but not limited to: AIDS, gonorrhoea and syphilis.
* It stands to reason that Enzo is pansexual.