I Kinda Feel Bad But Like...

*I Kinda Feel Bad But Like...* is the ninth episode of *Survivor: Alaska*.

* Gameplay
* Confessionals

## Challenges

**Immunity Challenge:** "Chess" Link: https://www.chess.com/
The castaways will each face off against someone remaining in the game. The person that wins the round will move on to battle another contestant and this goes on until there's two people left for one final chess battle. The last person remaining will win immunity.

Winner(s): Bartley (Immunity)

## Tribal Council

### Voting Confessionals

#### First Vote

oh also if u play an idol:
https://tenor.com/view/tina-belcher-awkward-smile-bobs-burgers-gif-8757169

i wonder where im voting tonight
this is crazy
unheard of
unbelievable
am voting adam
cant make a parchment because my phone has decided to end itself
fuck adam
i think somethings going to go wrong
but i would like to know ive voted him at least once in this game

## Day 25

RNG
Like I’m just
Playing an idol on Linus
I will never vote for Elizabeth to win
SKSKS
She lost all my respect
Acting scared
Playing pancakes
I’m glad I returned I won an immunity made too 8

I plan to go cold mode from here but I gotta recover my depression episode first then the moment I find a way to get someone out I am doing it. 🙂

I didn’t even care if my name came up or not but like me freaking out on call debating about whether to play it on linus or hoola is a mood
In hindsight i wasted it but i had no clue what was gonna happen this tribal so like rather be safe than sorry?
Adam is trying to justify not telling me about chloes name but like its coming off the wrong way imo
I get he’s hurt about beig blindsided like that but I genuinely thought kamen/malik/adam/bartley were a close group because of how they were all hesitant to bote bsrtley out at first.
Especially kamen because right when merge hit he told me about how the kam vote went down
Im just happy i finally have my footing in the game now considering i didnt know how much on the bottom I was premerge
I’m also at the point where Linus and Hoola are my 2 closest allies but i don’t know if i wanna go to the send with them
Especially linus
Bc he’s the perrfect meat shield for me but i don’t wanna be seen as his as his goat

when y’all were procting your 4

But there excuses suck
And it makes me mad
Elizabeth is truly buying groceries

Adam and i are kinda doing damage control atm like he was trying to justify chloe and i tried to explain my reasoning for the kamen vote and now we’re at the point everyone knows my cards 😭🙈
Catch me getting 8th again LMAO
But nah adam decided to tell me theres been convos about i’m not gettig jury votes at the end
And yes i’m aware I will have to fight for malik kamen and possibly adam’s votes
But like i genuinely thought they would vote hoola and wouldn’t do bartley and i may have forced linus to choose between me and them and he chose our side
And im hoping my bond with hoola is good enough where he won’t flip
I ended up telling him about the idol like within the 2 hours before to tribal to make sure he didn’t vote Linus because he admitted he was considering voting him if it meant saving himself
Right now I’ll say my ideal boot order is probably:
Malik
Bartley
Adam
Linus
Hoola
With a f3 of me chloe dani bc even though i never answered the one confessional question, i felt everyone was threatening except the girls left LOL

Now for that, I have a few thoughts in mind. It’s either a power, some kind of twist like a split or a group tribal council or something. But it has something to do with the game for sure.
I’m just mourning the loss of my baby 😔 I gotta make sure I don’t go into ponderosa after him and that some of these people go so he can have justice, but in a smart, strategical way.

LMAO
But I'm ecstatic 🤩 I have three close allies- I know where one idol is- I have all my cards close and I'm overjoyed

Cause I can’t win now
LOL
I say that because
Even if I did get momentum
I’m the underdog
So it’s just
Fighting to get as far as I can and hopefully that’s the end
I like get it
But it’s just frustrating
And I really don’t know where to go from here
They say it was all meh meh meh but it’s deep
Linus sucks
Like at this point
Even if he did win out
He’s kind of a tool
I just they did lots of things that bother me
I’m so confused
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/825133294667431976/831703792944021514/image0.png
I think I fully dislike Elizabeth

So now she's upset Lmaooo
I'm hoping this five sticks together tho since it's so great for my game 😎
I'd hate if they actually listened to Adam 😩 he's getting hella annoying

I’m not giving up
This is my last attempt to make a play!!!
I can do it! I can do it!!

with elizabeth that i dont give a flying fadoodle about
that was if i get her through 8 she will get me through6 NOTHING IN IT FOR ME
hoola was ill give him nitro if i get to 6 which fuck it
and like whats funny
is were selling this lie that we werent with Bentley wchich we technically never made a chat with
all because linus wants dalton out
LIKE
they want him to win

Wait it's loading
Ugh why is it taking so long to load
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/825131808332578857/831745315240411146/image0.png
There

Has
Has
HADP
Fuck it
Okay so
If you had a choice
Hot chocolate
Or a refreshing smoothing
What would you choose
Despite the weather
You are in neutral weather
Me
Not a smoothing
Smoothie
I like those

Also I’m happy kamen left, bc even tho we talked a lot I still didn’t trust him, and I don’t think he trusted me either from like the Denali post swap tribe
But I think it’s funny that the other side left me out of their chloe plan, and now are coming to me asking for my vote. Adams like “plsss you’ll have my loyalty for the rest of the game. I’ve been waiting sooo long dont vite me out 🥺🥺🥺” and I’m like 😐
And he said “I know you’re really close to Hoola, but you should vote for him”
Like, wow that’s so convincing 😐😐

Either way imma try to speak to people today. It’ll be awkward, mainly for me but I’ll do it.
Oh I still have that alliance with Linus and Elizabeth. Maybe after I check og Denali and if it isn’t too bad, maybe I can use it to my advantage..?

## Day 26

This is too funny
At this point I’m seriously considering be that juror who just doesn’t vote
I’m a human
It’s just
It’s annoying
It really is
I hope also y’all are seeing why Chloe shouldn’t be getting casted
What she doing?
Nothing as always
Like I don’t mean that in a mean way I realy really don’t
But IM GIVING SO MUCH I do in every game
And she does the same shit every game
which is next to nothing
Like I get she’s popular and all but seriously it’s disheartening to people like me who give there everything and constantly get looked over for people who are here for pancakes??
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/825133294667431976/831922093230391336/image0.png
No foo foo funny Buisness tofay lady

He’s apparently yelling at Elizabeth so

IM@ANOUT TO FICKING COMMUNICATION ERROR THESE BITCHES
god the anger inside me rn
I think I’m way more valid in being upset they voted me. I’m still@in the game
They got fucking blindsided, it’s survivor, it happens
What do they fucking expect
Adam sitting there acting all fucking emotional like he didn’t yell at me before for the same shit
And I’m SICK of Malik pulling the oh but Kamen was my friend, ya and I thought I was your friend too Malik
I do want to fight
But I’m drinking rn
So I’ll say something I regret
But oh god I wanna fight
God I’m angry

How conversations once were versus how nobody wants to talk
I don’t think it would be so annoying if it wasn’t some petty bullshit
And some tool bag
Linus is scum on this earth
Wilhelm ass mother cuter
Maybe he should make another fake account
Stupid douche
Ban Linus for using a sock and getting away with it cause the hosts agreed PERIOD
jkjkjk
Wilhelm ass motherfucker
And they honest to god think we are stupid which is the most annoying part of it all
They want us to believe they made the move cause we didn’t talk to them
When Elizabeth has already given that away has bullshit
Like cmon now
Just admit your with hoola cause pregame
And be done with it
Elizabeth wanted the cake and wanted nobody else to even taste the frosting
Honest to god I hope we do rocks
And I hope we win the rocks
Cause I’ll say straight up￼, so I’m going to give y’all the same treatment you gave to us, we’re a tight four, cry about it
If Linus loses and Elizabeth protects him again she’s a complete meme to me
They just continue to play bots and ignore convos
But will say we didn’t try
Scumbads
Absolute scumbags
Linus gonna get his wig snatched by me tbh
And it hurts my head cause I suck

They think it's someone on the other side but I know it's dani hehe

At this point it’s honestly just hope I live to see another day *sad panda emoji*
I don’t even feel Malik and Bartley are looking out for me
So it’s just hope for the best
I made some old mistakes but tbh I don’t care about this cause fuck theses people

If it lose - it could be at my own peril.

*t pain dance emoji*
I only went off on Elizabeth butt she was all high and mighty so
*dancing shark emoji*

Even after my fat fingers dragged my queen to the wrong square
Omg I can’t breathe
I cannot wait for this Tribal hehehe

## Day 27

First dani’s idol
Now linus’ advantage
I feel so bad for Linus’ tho
I think he’s paranoid Adam and Malik are gonna try and flip on him after last round which is valid
Because I was the one who threw malik’s name out last round on call at one point as a last resort/least likely to have an idol played on him
And linus shut that down pretty quickly
Only for him to betray them by voting kamen

Hopefullllly they think I’m worried and do Malik
Idk
I love how when I get emotional it’s “manipulation”
Like fuck odd
Off

I now have a moral dilemma
I tend to try and play loyal in games (hence why i was not voting him out sooner for his challenge performances n stuff) but like
There is a chance he could give it to me if he gets voted out (and doesn’t think i voted him out)

After Nemo’s chaotic Tribal, our challenge was to take shots at opposing tribe members. Very early, I started receiving shots from anonymous players. I made sure to use my opportunity to target Linus.
I will say... after I was eliminated - I purposely took Dani out and tried to point a finger at Chloe. I wanted to make Dani think she might be a target so she would potentially create chaos and be a bigger target than myself. Well - that never happened.
The round was exhausting to say the least. Originally the hope was to take out Linus and I thought I might have Dani/Hoola/Adam/Kamen to pull it off.
Cue Adam being paranoid.
Suddenly Adam/Kamen/Malik are hoping I’ll vote out Chloe with Linus. Adam wanted Chloe out - because he felt Linus might have an idol and Elizabeth would have a better shot beating Linus in a future challenge.
Linus says no.
Okay cool - so I try to pivot the original 5 (possibly with Malik) to vote Linus.
Right before the vote I get a message from Kamen suggesting the guys want to do a 3-3-3 vote on Linus/Chloe/whoever Elizabeth/Chloe/Linus choose
Immediately I know we are fucked and message Chloe
She says “don’t worry, I didn’t vote you”
Instantly - I know what’s going to happen. Dani and Hoola hate Kamen. Kamen was so quickly ready to Linus. Kamen is going to go home.
Im pretty pissed Dani and Hoola kept this a secret from me tbh. But I can’t say I’m surprised.
There are positives to the outcome.
1. I never had to lie to anyone about who I was voting.
2. Dani/Hoola just put a bigger target on their back IMO
3. I’m more of a free agent to be communicated with.
The negatives are:
1. I look like I’m on the bottom this round.
So how do I move forward?
Well - cue the next challenge.
Chess. Fucking chess.
I’m honestly triggered. My ex was a competitive chess player and made me play against him although I lost every single time. He did teach me some opening moves - which prove incredibly useful in this challenge.
Elizabeth goes down fairly quickly because im able@to free my queen and she’s placed valuable players in my path
Adam goes down in 3 MOVES
The poor guy, he doesn’t know how to play and immediately leaves his king vulnerable
Final match with Linus. Ugh well Linus is a bitch about it. Gaslights me while he presumably practices. Prior to Chloe forfeiting he’s asking me to practice with him. HELL FUCKING NO
What have you EVER done for me Linus? Why would I help you?
We get to our match and early on I foolishly misdrag my queen to a vulnerable position. I didn’t mean to! I was just nervous playing on my phone
I immediately assume I’ve lost, but I’m not giving up
Somehow...I just keep playing defense until finally my opening arrives and I win
Holy shit, I won immunity!
Thank you to my shitbag ex boyfriend for teaching me something... I guess
I want this round to open up who speaks to me
It’s not really happening yet - but I think this group likes to wait until the last minute to make decisions
I get it - less chance to flip - but JFC
Im a free agent right now. Make me an offer!
The way I see it, adam and Malik have been paired together, Dani/Hoola are the same person, Elizabeth and Linus are obviously close after the idol play, and Chloe is just here for random checkins and to vote.
If I were Dani and Hoola, I would seriously want to work with me this round. If we keep original Denali split, we can run this game
The problem is - im not convinced they are willing to do that - and that’s frustrating
Linus NEEDS to go. After that - we don’t need to worry about Adam/Malik/Elizabeth/Chloe teaming up. It hasn’t worked for them.
Maybe the latter 3 could link up - but Adam overthinks everything and has become a loose cannon.

or don't idrc
but yay i'm hoping that this tribal goes well
because like
adam or malik needs to go
but i don't feel like upsetting bartley again 😫
and adam NEVER EVER EVER SHUTS UP
but like
i would do the same if i were him
so i don't blame him
oh
and
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/825131808332578857/832093237812264980/Tina\_Belcher\_Hoola\_Avatar.jpg
you all get a taste of tina
have a good day
or night
or wherever u are
https://tenor.com/view/tina-belcher-awkward-smile-bobs-burgers-gif-8757169

When I talked to Malik earlier to clear things up about the Kamen vote, he told me he had to argue with Adam a bit to get the target off Linus last round (probably why they voted Chloe) so I’m aware just how close the 2 of them are and I worry if we boot Adam and Bartley, Linus may try to find a way to save Malik
Like yeah he was willing to vote Kamen and not vote with Malik, but at the end of the day Malik was still safe
And if I were to boot Linus before 5 to get the advantage, I definitely don’t want Malik still in the game because he could give it to him over me

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/825133294667431976/832109631139479602/image0.png
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/825133294667431976/832109631421284372/image1.png
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/825133294667431976/832109631660228618/image2.png
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/825133294667431976/832109631928270848/image3.png
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/825133294667431976/832109632201555978/image4.png
I just put in work I hope it pays off!!
I literally gah this is probably not gonna work
But hey!
I tried my best always and forever
*Shub emoji*
So last night was a mistake I shouldn’t have messaged anybody but idk
Your whole life you’re taught to talk things out
And then in survivor it’s the opposite
But I forget
*sad panda emoji*
Linus will probably idol or have a groupie idol him
But whatever
Yolo

See I was about to just call it and then I see this-Adam did you really save us wth

I’m tryna get Dani to take aNemo vote
So she’s safe in rocks
I think it’s basically agaisnt the rules
But Nemo did it so we’re thinking maybe hmmm
COULD TOU IMAGNE
the fact she’s even seriously considering this is insane to me
It’s a great play
But super risky
All on of them has to do is so..oop vote Dani
But I’m not saying the negatives
She would look like an inactive
Like oh well
I’m gonna just play fish tomororow
And be like woo
LOL THEY WOULD BE VOTING FOR ROCKS
Essentially my plan that won’t work but if it did holy shit
Malik Votes/that might flip to me if Dani tell them we know
Elizabeth
Chloe
Hoola
Linus
Dani Votes
Me
Bartley
Malik
Dani (self)
Malik and Dani are safe because they had voted
Bartley is safe cause of immunity
So me vs those four in rocks
I think? They flip on her in a revote which hey idek if that’s bad at that point
Wait fuck

Either me or Malik gonna be out
Same day different day

who thought id be in this position?
I have two options: 1, vote with the alliance of 5, get out somebody i dont trust (adam), and be safe, or 2, flip and go to rocks 😳
Its becoming clearer and clearer that im on the bottom of the alliance of 5, and i really dont wanna be with linus bc hes such a massive threat
im considiting flipping more and more which is honestly scary
but if i do flip, itd be a good move, and id still have the idol
so i have a lot to think about 😌
but btw adam is like the worst pitchmaker ever, like 😐
if i flip then i need to manage my threat level, so imma start now

Linus also tried saying he thinks Adam could have the idol and he might be worried about that but it was taking everything in me to not say ‘dw dani has it’ but rn I don’t plan on telling him about her idol and I don’t plan on telling Hoola about Linus’ mystery box unless I’m like backed into a corner somehow

The only thing is he obviously knows i know he has it bc he told me and he straight up said “please don’t use this against me even tho i don’t think you will” but i just really am worried he won’t wanna vote Malik out

The five of us vote for Adam
Maybe an idol gets played
Hopefully it's on Malik lmaoooo
Then
At the F7
It may split into two factions
Dani/Elizabeth/myself and Chloe/Linus/Malik
And Bartley will be the swing
So I'm hoping to tell Bartley that we're voting for Adam so that he trusts us 😎

https://tenor.com/view/tina-belcher-awkward-smile-bobs-burgers-gif-8757169
help i've watched this gif like fifty times now

Hoola is helping the cause so that’s cool
He’s not trying too
But Dani has solid reads and has caught some red flags
So that’s good...hopefulky
I just in my dream world
This works, we win rock draw
And they start doing what I did the other night
And I’m gonna honestly just be like nah
Especially to Elizabeth
I’ll say how’s the high horse now?
Or you know what they say about people who assume!?
https://tenor.com/view/thumbs-up-great-agree-awesome-cool-gif-15385195
and tbh like sure I’ll be OTTN
But god damn
Dont give this all and mighty we thought this bullshit
Also like did Elizabeth think Linus had the sole power of saving her
Like idiot
Premerge
Like he was apart of the aliance
She gets that part?
LOL
Hoola gave it away that he’s not with me
But I’m not tipping it off that he did that

im so glad we're no longer pretending to like each other
it's way more fun like this
i can finally openly be a bitch about someone
and ugh it feels so fucking good
i know im not getting adams vote in an ftc and i literally dont give a fuck because i dont want his vote anyway

But Bartley is being sketchy
Dani is being non sketchy but still not confident
It’s dumb
Linus and Elizabeth are just grosssss
I lowkey think there trying to split
But idk
We will see
I’ve waited for this, I’m trying my best
Linus wants to talk to Malik
Like fuck that
Linus is gonna be all wehhh

So that’s cool douchebag
I’m gonnnne
Gone

I feel like Dani is trying to make her move in the game. But it could be 1 of 2 moves.
Infiltrate Adam/Malik and my ass that’s been roped in to know where the vote is going....which doesn’t really make sense cause why play an idol if you are a solid 5?
Or is she about to play an idol on Adam and send Chloe home?
It makes sense honestly. It’s a bold fucking move, but Dani could be viewed as a goat and if you wanna get til the end...take out the other person who might be your goat competition.
Dani could also take it to rocks and play an idol on herself. It guarantees her another round and if she does have an idol thanks to Hoola and Elizabeth - she no longer has to play under their jurisdiction
Granted she’d have to play it upfront
I think someone will flip, and I really want to vote Adam to play out that chaos lol
But that’d be crazy
I can justify staying on Chloe without hurt feelings

do not like
at all
absolutely not
no way in HELL
i do not wanna work with Malik in this game now
this is grim
what a choice
he didnt even ask me about it
HE JUST MADE IT
and that always goes wrong
what a weird fucking alliance
who the fuck looks at this group of people and says yes i want to work with malik and chloe despite us all voting for a different person last round
im TRYING
it is taking everything in me to pretend to be fine rn
when someone asks you if you're fine but you're not fine
whatever bartley says is absolutely going to be shared
it just is

this is like a rlly shit group therapy session
ive done enough of those in my time i dont need no more

i'd rather DIE than place worse than adam

And it gives me a headache
Having to discuss all my strategy with Elizabeth
Then having to recap it to Linus
Then having to recap it to Dani
Then having to recap it here
But anyway
I'm hoping I can make it to the end as long as I don't get robbed with an idol or something 😤
Or imagine if I got 4th place again-
I would literally scream
https://tenor.com/view/kid-scream-no-cry-mad-gif-11222953
But in terms of the game
I really hope Adam goes this vote
Then we turn on Linus next time 😈
Then I go to the end with Dani, Elizabeth, and Bartley
Then we take out Bartley at F4
Then I win at the end 😎
Both Elizabeth and Dani say they want us three at the end
That would be PERFECTION

I’m pretty sure they got him to be a flip
When he promised he wouldn’t
And has dragged Shane for doing so
But hey

im the centre of attention as i should be
its like a proper showdown between me and adam almost

I CANNOT-
🖕DANI
LMAOO JKJK
I STILL LOVE U DANI
💜
KINDA
THAT'S WHY UR HEART ISN'T RED
IT AIN'T FULL

*Skeleton Dance emoji*
Both my seasons had tie at F8
Trivia fact dalton woo
If it goes rocks
Then both times I played had rocks at 8
*Sponge boogie emoji*
That rock draw was a lot less dramatic then any of this has been

### Trivia

* The episode title was said by Dani.