Bryan the Bodyguard

Bryan noticing a Taco-Speaker and prepares for cleansing

The Taco Dude

Beard-Man

Mr. T

Bran Bordello

"Bryan" Bran Bordello the Bodyguard was a National Defender to 45th President Myne Riller. He is also known for his Soap Opera he did back in the early 90's before becoming a Bodyguard. He has the highest score in Sans-Defender making him the worlds strongest Taco-Speaker

## History

Bran Bordello was born a Taco-Speaker in the rage of the "Big War" between The Taco-Speakers and the United ChecC's of Americano. He would lose his parents to the Taco-Speaker's Leader, The Kactcus causing him to hate Taco-Speakers. He would then smuggle into the main country and enlist to fight the Taco-Speakers.

### Military Services

Bran would serve 35 years in the 7th Korporal of checC's where he fought at the Battle of the Alamo. Bran would learn the different ways of fighting from his trainer, Sergeant Warren who taught him to beat Ness in 2 seconds. This would allow him to beat Sans in less than double that. He would train for the battlefield every night by beating Dark Souls and CupHead at the same time. Easy challenges compared to the battles ahead, Bran would slaughter 500 Taco-Speakers a night. Some nights Bran would get bored and use a giant hook to make day-night so he could kill some Taco Speakers. His major persistence throughout the battlefield has caused him to be loved by the public and seen as a national hero.

### The Battle of the Alamo

Bran Bordello would lead the charge against the Alamo, a heavily fortified Sam's Club. There the Taco-Speakers where manufacturing Lawn Mowers Bombs. Thinking like a Taco-Speaker, Bran had his troops ride in on Lawn Equipment catching the Taco-Speakers off guard allowing him and his troops to break into the abandoned Sam's Club. For days, Bran let his troops do all the fighting as he began to invest in his own nation in the computer section. There Bran would create Bran Bordello's NationState, a Nation as well as a State. He then decided to fight and used a Lawn Blower to beat up the Kactus. He then forced him to eat a shit-load of Chipolte causing the Kactus to shit through his eye's killing the villain once and for all. He would record this and would later post it on pornhub. With this, the war finally ended.

### Post-War

After destroying the Taco-Speakers Leader the war ended, and Bran Bordello became a war hero. He would collect his rewards which were an unlimited supply of Taco Meat and retire to his fictional country. He then forgot that NationState isn't physically real and bought a run-down apartment for 2 pesos because of he had got no money for his reward.

### Assassination Attempts

After killing The Kactus and posting his death on pornhub. Many of his allies sent assassins to do the same as a response to that. The first threat sent was Coconut Crab in the mail. Upon opening the letter Bran found the Coconut, because the bad guys forgot to put the Crab in the Coconut. Bran knew that he was being hunted based on the shell he found. He then sent a bomb to the president addressed from the bad guys causing the president to nuke Pakistan in response. Bran would change his name to Bryan to disguise himself from the public eye and would constantly traveling. Never stopping.

### Free Life and Soap Opera

Bryan would spend most of his wandering beating up Benchwarmers and stealing the cigarettes. He would also beat up any random Taco-Speaker veteran he says. He developed a skill that allowed him to sense the presence of Taco-Speakers causing his eyes to turn red and him to jump that said victim. He would wander for 2 years doing the same thing and getting strong until he was approached by a producer. The producer was on his way to enslave creepers, but decided to hire people who looked right for his new Soap Opera. Luckily, Bryan knew how to speak Spanish which allowed him to get the part. He only agreed to do the part if he got full citizenship and if could kill sans in real life. The producer agreed and he did three episodes before the writer died of heart-burn.

### Bodyguard to President Myne Riller

While kidnaping Paint from the local playground, he came across Myne Riller's Political Picnic. There he meets Myne Riller and he was sad after being bitten by a big ant. Bryan then killed the ant and ate it in front of all the children. He then showed a little boi how to properly gut a Taco. Seeing his great skill, Myne hired him t be his personal bodyguard. The two got along well due to their great love for Spider-Man 2, which convinces Bryan to take the Job. Bryan asked to only be paid in pizza and would follow Riller everywhere on his political campaign throughout the country. He would later be teamed up with Captain Etiquette to fight the forces of King Kaos Green Bean Pranks. He would bomb Bob Bernie, choke out The Shrimp, and forgot to pay his rent.

### Death

He got shot by King Kaos, because Riller owed him his Pizza Time, but he died instead.

### Ghost

Bryan's Ghost would haunt The Alamo where he is waiting to beat Toby Fox who he believes his the "Sans in Real Life." His ghost would give advice to those who passed the white test, if they don't he would change their skin color. He then would follow Toby to Hell where he beat him in a game of Teris 99, and then proceed to bash his head against a stone pillar of Uncle Yunkle.

## Trivia

* This article has grammatical errors to make Bryan made.