Stardust Stealers/Transcript

(The episode starts with Candle Man cooking Mystic’s breakfast as he whistles a cheerful tune, as he flips a pancake with the frying pan he used in CMWS and “Robotuczy”.)

Candle Man: Cooking for my dearest Mystical, because she’s as sweet as sugar. (Singing.) Oh, my precious Mystical, having your breakfast served by the world’s best cooker!

Shaduck: STOP SINGING ABOUT YOUR SO-CALLED “MYSTICAL”! SHE’S NOT EVEN THAT GREAT!

Candle Man: Yes, she is, and that’s a scientific fact! (Singing.) OOOOH, MY MYSTI-

(Shaduck throws an eggplant at Candle Man.)

Shaduck: SHUT UP!

Candle Man: Is there something wrong with me singing about my baby?

Shaduck: Yes, it's annoying! You know that I hate Mystic and yet you continue to sing about her!

Mystic: What’s zombie Shaduck moaning about this time?

Candle Man: Oh, just about you… the typical sorta-rivalry between you both. Yet none of you two even acknowledge the POSSIBILITY of either of you being wrong.

Mystic: Well, I’ll most likely be dead before he ever stops saying such things about me…like how my parents hated and insulted me so much that my sister was basically controlled so that my parents could use her to kill me.

Candle Man: What do you mean “use”?

Mystic: Oh, you know, corrupting her mind to make her seem like I wasn’t her sister and rather someone who should be dead...you know, simple brain washing.

Candle Man: Geez, that must have been rough to get through.

(Limefong also walks in.)

Limefong: Hey, guys, how’s it goin’?

Candle Man: We’re just talking about Mystic’s sister having been some sort of a… uh, slave of her parents who wanted to kill Mystic…

Shaduck: Sometimes I wish she was dead!

(Candle Man, Mystic, and Limefong give Shaduck a death glare due to this comment, as this comment makes Mystic’s demon half show with CM’s having the angriest face.)

Mystic: Well, not like I never wish you were dead…(demon side showing) SO WHY DO YOU THINK THAT’S A NICE COMMENT TO MAKE TOWARDS SOMEONE WHO COULD MURDER YOU?!

Candle Man: Can we just cut it out with the dead talk?! ‘Cause it's a known fact that Mystic is too precious to die!

Limefong: What about the time Mystic turned to stardust during the fight against UCP?

(Flashback to when Mystic was killed by UCP, her stardust falling onto the floor, Candle Man falls onto his knees.)

Limefong: (Voice-over.) Or the time she died during the Spammers’ dystopia?

(Flashback to Mystic using her supernova ability.)

Shaduck: (Voice-over.) Yeah, I’d have preferred if she stayed that way…

Candle Man: (Voice-over.) Ugh, stop! Also, Mystic turning into dust was probably the thing that made me absolutely lose it on UCP and turn him to dust when she got revived!

Mystic: (Voice-over.) You mean you went ballistic over me?

Candle Man: (Voice-over.) Yeah. UCP would probably be dust anyway by now…

(Flashback ends.)

Candle Man: ...I’d probably just have gone to that breaking point another way.

(Cue theme song. After that, the scene cuts to the Spammers’ lair.)

Whickey: (looking at UCP’s dust) Oh come on, UCP… are you seriously that much of a weakling to stay like this? And that was caused by the laziest candle alive?

(Scene shows UCP’s dust but no response. Maps then comes on screen, holding onto documents.)

Maps: Well, Whick, I just found out something about his girlfriend’s kind that could help us revive the UCP!

Whickey: UCP had a girlfriend?

Maps: No, you silly goose. It’s Candle Man’s girlfriend.

Whickey: Oh. So whatcha discovered?

Maps: At some point, Mystic died during her and her dim-witted friends’ fight against UCP, but she got revived. However, while dead, Mystic was a pile of some magic dust, which has an effect that can possibly help with reviving UCP.

Whickey: So you’re saying if we kill her again, we can use that stardust of hers in order for a new power source for UCP?

Maps: Yes, that’s exactly right.

Gyux: wetrzuizte4jikire4jkut6r5tkiu (Subtitles: “How about kidnapping her and THEN doing it? So the other Candle Flips won’t suspect anything and won’t be there to foil our plans this time!”)

Kitchen: GENIUS!

Luis: (Confused.) Pretty sure random gibberish is not a genius idea. It still isn’t either.

Kitchen: SHUT THE FLIP UP, PLEASE! Anyway, what Gyux said was, “How’bout kidnapping her” - which referred to Mystic of course - “and THEN killing her?” Personally, I believe this is a great idea.

Dyaboy: I agree, but Mystic will notice that she is being kidnapped… and she has superpowers, since ya’know, she’s a former goddess. So how will we get her without risking getting blasted?

Luis: We’ll just knock her out! We still will too. Woo hoo.

Whickey: GENIUS IDEA! LET’S GO!

(Cuts back to the Candle House where Candle Man is cooking breakfast, however the other Candle Friends are not there this time.)

Candle Man: Didn’t know this cooking utensil would play a big part in defeating my arch-nemesis when I first got it! I know that I got it like destiny, but really. Wow! Never would’ve thought! (Flips a pancake as it then lands on his face.) Well, this pancake is more like a panface. Ahahaha.

(Scene cuts to the Spammers who are spying on Mystic who’s stretching out, Dyaboy holding onto a dart gun.)

Dyaboy: Maps, you got the tranquilizer dart?

(Maps hands him the tranquilizer dart.)

Dyaboy: Yep! Finally we can put this bad boy into use. Now all we have to do is wait for the perfect moment!

(Dyaboy waits for a few seconds, then he shoots the tranquilizer dart, stabbing Mystic in between the wings. She faceplants into the ground.)

Dyaboy: Bingo.

(Cuts back to Candle Man.)

Candle Man: (Turns around.) What was that?! Hmmm... (Puts the pancake down on a plate and follows the sound while holding the frying pan.) Breakfast can wait. I’m gonna find out what that sound was!

(Cuts back to the Spammers and Mystic. Whickey runs up to Mystic and picks her body up.)

Whickey: Nice shot, Dyaboy! Now, let’s get her back to the lair before anyone sees us with the goddess!

(They run off just in time for Candle Man to look outside to see where the noise came from, but sees nothing suspicious.)

Candle Man: Huh?

(Scene cuts back to the lair, where Whickey places Mystic’s unconscious body on a table.)

Whickey: So, how should we go about with killing her?

(Maps pulls out a knife she had on her.)

Maps: How about we stab her in the heart?

Whickey: Since when did you have a knife?

Maps: We’re villains. We’re bound to have weapons on us.

Whickey: Whatever. Just kill her now before that lame candle goes looking for her. Though, he’s probably too lazy and stupid to even notice things anyway, so that isn’t a problem. Just do it!

(Scene cuts to the Candle House, where Shaduck and Limefong are seen trying to calm down Candle Man who is in a complete panic from Mystic’s sudden disappearance.)

Candle Man: WHERE’S MY MYSTICAL?! I’M TELLING YOU GUYS, WE NEED TO FIND HER!

Shaduck: Geez, why are you going cuckoo for someone who’s not even that special and never will be?!

Candle Man: Shut up, you heartless monster! You don't know how I feel to have my Mystical girlfriend suddenly disappear without a trace!

(Candle Man transforms into an alternative look, Lava Man, and then proceeds to place a pool of lava right below Shaduck before going back.)

Shaduck: WHAT IS WITH YOU?! YOU ARE GOING INSANE! YOU’RE ALL RED AND HOT! JUST CALM DOWN!

Lava Man: I’M NOT INSANE, YOU ARE, FOR SAYING RUDE THINGS ABOUT MYSTICAL!

Limefong: Look, we know you’re upset and I’m also worried for Mystic, but you need to take it easy! She could’ve just walked off to get milk or something!

Lava Man: HOW CAN I TAKE IT EASY?! What if that slave sister of hers kidnapped and killed her just like what Mystic’s parents wanted?! (He breaks down crying as he falls to his knees on the floor, turning back into Candle Man.) OH, THE THOUGHT OF IT IS JUST HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE!

Limefong: Dude, don’t cry about it. Be a man and find your “Mystical” yourself!

Shaduck: I’m just hoping that by the time he does find her, she’s already long gone so I don’t have to deal with her anymore.

(Limefong, fed up with Shaduck’s comments, sighs and then electrocutes Shaduck.)

Shaduck: I…deserved that.

(Shaduck collapses. As soon as he hits the ground, the scene cuts back to the Spammers’ lair. Whickey has the knife in his hand, the rest of the Spammers behind him. Whickey is prepared to kill Mystic once and for all.)

The Spammers: Do it, do it, do it!

Whickey: Goodbye, Mystic! (Stabs Mystic but everyone is in silhouettes, so no graphical events are seen.)

(Cuts back to the Candle House, where Candle Man continues being stubborn about Mystic’s disappearance.)

Limefong: Come on, Candle Man! Get back up again and just find her! There’s no point in moping about it! Besides, as I said, she could just be running an errand or visiting a friend or something!

Candle Man: My Mystical…

Shaduck: Just leave it! She’s not worth you dehydrating with all these baby tears!

(Candle Man runs out of the house at the speed of light.)

Limefong: (Sarcastically.) Wow...wonder what got him so worked up..

Shaduck: (Oblivious to the sarcasm.) Are you seriously asking that question?

(Limefong pushes Shaduck over again. The scene cuts to Candle Man running to the Spammers’ lair, believing that the Spammers are involved with Mystic’s disappearance. During this run, he runs into Ribbon.)

Ribbon: Hey, CM!

Candle Man: Oh, hey, Ribbon. I’m looking for your sister. She just disappeared out of the blue!

Ribbon: Well, I’m sorry, but me and Judy haven’t seen her..

Candle Man: Well, if you can, please help me find her!

Ribbon: Well, me and Judy don’t have that much time off our break before we have to head back to Galaxia Omega, and Judy’s currently out for coffee, but I’m sure I can make time.

Candle Man: Great! Thank you, Ribbon!

(Scene cuts back to the Spammers’ lair. The group stares at what was once Mystic’s body. She’s now just her stardust.)

Maps: This looks so satisfying to see that “Mystical” now just sparkly dust.

Whickey: Agreed, Maps. And as for the dust… LET’S USE IT TO REVIVE UCP!

(A very loud banging at the door is heard. Whickey and Maps turn around, and Dyaboy looks away from his phone.)

Dyaboy: Who’s that? We never have visitors!

Kitchen: I’ll get it!

(When she opens the door, she is trampled by a very angry Candle Man and Ribbon, the former with the frying pan.)

Kitchen: AUGH! WHAT ARE YOU TWO LOSERS DOING HERE?!

Candle Man: WHERE IS SHE?!

Maps: Where is who? We don’t know who you're talking about!

Candle Man: DON'T YOU LIE TO ME! WHERE IS SHE?! (His flame grows larger in size, as well as turning into a red color.) TELL ME, RIGHT THIS SECOND!

Maps: ‘Bout who?

(Candle Man grabs Maps by her robe. She struggles to get out of Candle Man’s grip. He shakes her.)

Candle Man: YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHO I’M LOOKING FOR! SHOW ME THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE RIGHT THIS SECOND! (Screaming at the top of his lungs.) WHERE IS MY PRECIOUS MYSTICAL?!

Whickey: You're looking for your Mystical, are you? Well...

Candle Man: WELL?! WHERE IS SHE?!

Whickey: She’s here!

Candle Man: JUST SHOW ME HERE OR ELSE!

Whickey: Fine, just follow me.

(Whickey walks away, Candle Man at his heels.)

Whickey: Now, take a few steps to the right.

Candle Man: (He takes three steps to the right as Whickey says.) Mystic?! Where are you?!

Whickey: Ha ha! (Presses a button. A trap door opens underneath Candle Man’s feet and he falls into a pit.)

Candle Man: What? Mystic is in here?

Whickey: No, dummy. This is a trap!

Candle Man: WHAT?!

Whickey: Yes!

(Whickey presses another button and the pit is revealed to be a cage, lifting up and putting him back on the ground floor.)

Judy: What are you doing?! SHOW ME MY SISTER!

Whickey: So be it.

(Whickey moves to the right, revealing the stardust, the tranquilizer dart and the knife that had caused her to go unconscious and killed her in the end. Ribbon is left completely speechless.)

Candle Man: Y-y-you KILLED HER?!

Maps: Yep, and her stardust will help out in our plans!

Candle Man: YOU ARE SOOO GOING TO PAY FOR THIS! Killing the person I love the most to try to revive the person I hate the most? WELL THEN, YOU SIX NEED A PLAN TO KEEP YOURSELVES ALIVE, NOT UCP!

(Maps grabs the Mystix Wand, which is on the floor.)

Maps: Well, with Mystic dead, I guess I can just have this for myself!

Ribbon: No, you can’t! You can’t even control that kind of power!

Gyux: sdfghzu342wehjk43wsedhztrewaerthtewq (Subtitles: “Who cares if Maps can’t control it? If she can’t, THAT’S ONLY GONNA BENEFIT US!”)

Ribbon: (Confused.) Huh?

Candle Man: He only speaks gibberish.

Ribbon: Oh….

(The Mystix Wand starts glowing multiple colors. It sends out an Energy Whip that hits Maps, causing her to be scorched, turning into nothing but ash as she loses its grip and Ribbon grabs it for herself.)

Ribbon: I’ll take that, thank you!

(When Ribbon looks at the wand, she notices that it has a crack in it. It starts shooting out the Spark Dust, which completely blinds everyone)

Candle Man: Augh! I can’t see a thing! Ribbon, make it stop!

Ribbon: I can’t, and where are you?!

(During the period of blindness, Mystic’s stardust floats in the air. It drifts towards the Mystix Wand and her dust consumes the blinding light as its energy is used to shape Mystic back to normal and she returns to her goddess form. Mystic grabs the Mystix Wand out of Ribbon’s hand.)

Candle Man: I’m not blind anymore, but who stopped it?

Mystic: Your one and only Mystical did, my precious CM.

Candle Man: (Gasps.) YOU’RE ALIVE!

Mystic: Yeah, I am… wait, what happened to me?

Maps: We just knocked you unconscious with a tranquilizer dart, kidnapped you and then killed you with this knife I have, nothing big.

Mystic: And you guys did all of that just to drive my baby insane and in a complete panic. Geez, how mean of y’all to do that to CM.

Maps: But that’s the point, Spammers, get them!

Candle Man: They didn’t do it to drive me insane, they did it in an attempt to revive UCP with your stardust!

Mystic: Oh, tryna use my source of life to bring that jerk back?

(Mystic uses the Mystix Wand to blind the Spammers again.)

Candle Man: Mystical, get me outta this cage!

Mystic: Alright then! (Uses the Mystix Wand to blast the cage open, creating a hole for Candle Man to weasel out of.)

Mystic: And now, Candle Man, let’s kick their butts once and for all!

Candle Man: Well, I would normally but they’re blind! So I doubt there’s anything to do now. Let’s just go home while they’re blind!

(The two of them notice that Ribbon has left to head back to control Galaxia Omega. She has left a note for Candle Man. He picks it up.)

Candle Man: Ribbon left… let’s check the note she left for us

(It simply says “Kick Whickey’s butt for killing my sis for me, royal duties call” with a small doodle of a peace symbol as Candle Man reads it.)

Candle Man: Oh, fine.

(Cue Candle Man kicking Whickey’s butt and then he and Mystic leave very quickly.)

Whickey: HEY, WHO DID THAT?!

Kitchen: Who did what?

(Scene cuts back to the Candle House, where Shaduck and Limefong are playing The Grand Theft. Candle Man pulls the plug that connects the XCube to the TV out.)

Shaduck: WHAT THE HECK?! We were playing that!

Candle Man: I know, but I found out who killed my precious Mystical!

Limefong: Who, your parents?

Candle Man: What? No! It was the Spammers who killed her just so they could use her stardust in order to bring back UCP.

Shaduck: So, is she still dead?

(Shaduck gets electrocuted by Mystic’s energy whip from the Mystix Wand. He looks behind him to see her)

Mystic: Keep your ducking mouth shut if you don’t want me to cook you up in the oven. So Candle Man, did this duck say anything towards me while I was gone?

Candle Man: Oh, you know, calling you a mistake and how you're not precious when he is dead wrong about that and that is a fact!

Mystic: Well, I believe he only deserves one thing for his comments about me…CM, would you please?

Candle Man: (With a grinch smile as he looks at Shaduck.) Gladly, my Mystical.

(Candle Man and Mystic draw closer to Shaduck, both with grinch smiles on their faces. Zooms out on the house as Shaduck is heard screaming. Episode ends.)