Episode 91

it's a self-proclaimed big thursday with dylan covering the famous video game The Sims and broti talking about a famous monkey from 10 years ago

recapped by Kevin on 1/20/2023

## Episode Summary

### Introduction

* "Every week we record this thing, and um yeah"
* Dylan has a cold but is hiding it well, Broti suspects she is just a negative person
* Dylan imagines a COVID test that assigns you Friends characters
* Dylan discusses an overheard conversation about an imaginary Friends episode
	+ Dylan starts the story by saying she overheard it "at work" which almost makes it sound like she was sitting at her cubicle looking at spreadsheets
	+ Broti praises the imaginary episode for its originality
* "What else is going on?"
	+ GMA Drama Hall
		- Dylan is sorry the secret part is over
		- Broti is sad that the public is now going through the steps they've already gone through, proving she is truly the sensitive one of the pair
		- Broti has never seen GMA, but Dylan recalls a mysterious television playing it in her childhood
	+ Dylan's Zen Moment (reminder that she probably has COVID)
		- Thought about improv, a disgusting use of your time
		- The point of improv is that you have a crush on someone else in the group
		- Being the one girl is very powerful
		- Broti reveals she is a proud alum of UCB 101, and was a real "queen of the castle" or "yes and slut" if you will
		- There's something there: "yes you are gay and..."
			* Dylan: You're still my dad
			* Dylan: Let's have a seat on the roller coaster
			* Broti: Yes
			* Dylan misremembers what she said just 30 seconds before and I'll remind you one more time she probably has COVID
* Dylan wants to end here since no one is listening
* Broti reveals she is still going through it with her accountant
	+ Never says when she is doing the RIGHT thing
	+ Always needs things
	+ Dylan suggests Broti should find someone who is better
	+ Dylan would rather die than sign something
	+ Dylan is baffled by setting up her gas payments
	+ Broti admits she does not understand how credit works
	+ Hanging out and trying on blazers > credit cards (?)
	+ Dylan then says she'd rather kill herself than trying on a blazer
	+ Broti is very fixated on shapes, much like a small bird
	+ Broti prefers a tennis ball to a wave on the beach, since its a hard concept
* Dylan was insulted by her Pilates instructor
	+ For the record she has great shoulders and a great face
	+ Dylan laments all the terrible things they've said about themselves
* Broti would not last as a detective

### Mailbag

* Colleen has a great question about mice steering little boats, a great start to mailbag
	+ Broti thinks the mouse should be called Little Stuart
	+ Broti is confused how names work and really wrecks Dylan's brain
	+ "Stuart Little : This Shit's Sad"
	+ Broti goes ahead and just starts reading the Stuart Little plot summary
	+ Broti reveals that Geena Davis = Stuart Little's mom in her mind
	+ Dylan remembers there was a question here, just in time
		- Dylan goes for Human captain, boat-themed
		- Dylan is then distracted by thoughts of Richard Kind's cameo, a pod favorite
* Alex the parrot revelations from Patti, another amazing mailbag
	+ Dylan recaps the amazing depressed parrot pretty succinctly
	+ Dylan encourages Patti to find Griffin and post pictures to da reddit
* Andreas talks about linguistics
	+ Broti thinks this mailbag was perfect, like a musical
	+ D&B like fun facts
	+ Broti describes a motif without saying "motif", a real Broti-esque feat
* Cardigan gift questions sent from Ben's iPhone
	+ There's a real "cardigan - card again" thing going on with my brain during this segment and it drives me nuts that no one goes there
	+ What Women Want Hall
		- One fucking moment of peace
		- a Lancombe Juicy Tube
		- engineering a way for her to feel pity for her ex-boyfriends
* Dylan reveals that her landlord has asked if they can film an episode of "The Other Two" in her apartment
	+ D&B do not recommend doing this
	+ I guess that was the final mailbag of the week
* Broti is excited to hear Dylan's topic, The Sims

### Dylan's Topic

* Dylan feels like Broti's praise for her topic came too late
	+ Broti goes on a real journey here, re: her enthusiasm for Dylan's topic vs her own hype for her topic
* Dylan is going lighter with this topic
* Dylan is back to the Interior Design game, even though it was bad for her self-esteem
* Broti imagines herself imagining that texting was a phone game, a real brain teaser
* Dylan gets excited about the possibility of a Lecture Hall meetup in The Sims
* Dylan flubs the very first line of her lecture
* Dylan never paid for an expansion pack herself
* Dylan is riveted by the origin of The Sims
	+ Will Wright lost his home in a fire, which makes all the fire in the game even more disturbing
	+ Dylan teases more fire later and imagines the rest of his family dying in terrible ways
	+ Originally was just a home building sim, but when the Sims showed up everyone was more interested in them than the home building part
		- Broti and Dylan both do some fun voices here
* Dylan switches up her joke style by making a "my husband" joke instead of a "my wife" joke but maybe I need to keep a tally of both
* Broti sees parallels between The Sims and her accountant relationship
* Broti is reminded of the hit TV show The Simpsons, for some reason
	+ She is actually angry with a series of tweets that misunderstand how fiction works
	+ "You can draw whatever you want"
	+ D&B fear cartoon characters unionizing
* Dylan is delighted by the idea of a Sim dying from "natural causes"
* Dylan lists the 10 personality traits of Sims and just regular humans
	+ Sloppy
	+ Neat
	+ Shy
	+ Outgoing
	+ Lazy
	+ Active
	+ Serious
	+ Playful
	+ Grouchy
	+ Nice
* Dylan then lists the 6 aspirations:
	+ Grow Up
	+ Romance
	+ Family
	+ Knowledge (my guess for Broti)
	+ Popularity (my guess for Dylan)
	+ Fortune
	+ Dylan's is actually "Get through the damn day"
	+ Broti reminds us hers is "a minute's peace"
* Dylan compares Sims' nudity to Burlesque
* Dylan is so excited about the House Party expansion
	+ She clearly cannot wait to reveal that comedian Drew Carey is involved
* Dylan's lecture features lots of lists, which makes these recaps challenging
* Problematic: Older Male Sims can always "try for baby"
* Dylan is upset and amused by the details of Sim pregnancy
	+ The whole game is actually about denying the Sims a hospital birth
* Dylan dives deep
	+ A second fire? She's just asking questions, like a good journalist
	+ Broti's "Will Wrong" really falls flat, but I liked it Broti
* Dylan admits she doesn't known how many zeroes mean what
* Dylan ends her topic revealing she watched The Seagull in The Sims 4 during the pandemic
* D&B make a plan to facetime and play The Sims this saturday during the day
* Dylan transitions us to Broti's awful topic

### Broti's Topic

* Broti promises it is not just about Kanzi the Bonobo
* Broti introduces us to Sue and Teco
	+ Sue thinks monkeys are people too
	+ Sue was suspended after accusations of mistreating the bonobos
* Finally, the "drama drama drama"
	+ Sue was reinstated then kicked out again
	+ Sue was accused of being mentally unfit
		- Allowed monkey incest
		- Forgot where she left them sometimes, like her keys
		- Accidentally locked the apes out
		- Exposed Teco to illnesses
	+ Whistleblowers called themselves The Bonobo 12 - a very dramatic but embarrassing name
	+ Sue Ravage, Sue Savage, or Sue Savage-Rumbaugh? You decide
	+ Basically since Sue brings in so much money, some people believe there is no interest in her facing consequences. This is actually a really deep ethical topic, but I think since Dylan is sick there is virtually no riffing for this segment, which I'm also going to blame on Broti going last.
* Dylan sums it up by asking, "So she's leaving them outside?
* Broti then reveals this all happened like 10 years ago
	+ Party Rock is in The House - we love this man and his uncle
	+ Taio Cruz' Dynamite
* Broti promises posting a youtube video to da reddit of Sue's explanation, but she gives us a pretty good summary so I won't watch it
* Broti maybe realizes her topic is poorly named but we'll just leave it
* D&B agree it was wrong to take Teco on Oprah
	+ He wears a diaper
* Dylan asks the important question, "What primate lady is normal?"
	+ This episode's takeaway: Don't share a bed with Teco
* A tired Dylan closes out the episode

## Topics

### Broti's topic

* kanzi drama (ok really Sue Rumbaugh drama generally)