Sludge Lord

The Sludge Lord, also referred to as "The Sludge Kid," "The Sludge Guy," and "Alex," is the host and main character of Sludge Lord Sundays. He appears in every episode and introduces every guest and topic.

#### Life and Career

##### Early Life

The Sludge Lord's mother is unknown, but he claims that singer Andy Williams is his father. He claims to have attended high school with Madonna in 1975 and has a yearbook to prove it. However, there are no records of his attendance at Rochester Adams High School in Michigan; some speculate that his information may have been expunged in order to distance the school from being associated with him and his many crimes.

##### Sludge Lord Sundays

The official start date of Sludge Lord Sundays is unknown, but taped copies have been found with airdates as early as 1979 and as late as 2015. Shendo Jentlin, The Mike Bibby, and Grabby McFeeler are credited as Senior Producers of the show in 1999; other than that, the majority of the show's funding is presumably provided by sponsors. At one point, the Sludge Lord mentions investing the show's entire budget into Enron Corporation stocks. In 2002, Christina Aguilera became a majority shareholder in the show as part of a settlement agreement.

Behind the scenes footage was revealed alongside an episode of the show released in July of 2015 where the Sludge Lord claims to have worked on "9 years, 6 seasons" of the show with "500 guests." However, this doesn't account for the 40-year runtime of the show, so the legitimacy of this statement is questionable.

##### Personal Life

The Sludge Lord has been to rehabilitation clinics multiple times, and has struggled with addictions to alcohol, crack cocaine, and several other stimulants and amphetamines. He has fathered at least three children: two boys from his ex-wife Cheryl, and a daughter who he hasn't seen since 1994. Although he is close friends with Jesus Christ, he does not appear to have any religious affiliation.

#### Trivia

* Frosted Cheerios played for the Sludge Lord's home team during his rookie season.
* The Sludge Lord has been accused of multiple felonies, including manufacturing crack cocaine, assaulting multiple women, and murdering his second son.
* He has been married and divorced three times.
* He is an amateur painter with a cubist/abstract art style.
* He doesn't like white rappers.
* One of his sons was born in 1975.
* The Sludge Lord claims to have killed his wife and JFK.
* In a recording from 1999, he claimed to have "something big planned" for September 11, 2001.
* After a heart attack in 1986, the Sludge Lord switched to a grain-only diet.
* The Sludge Lord can bench press 120 pounds and do 15 jumping jacks. He also knows several skateboard tricks, including Operation Paperclip.

##### Quotes

* "Honestly, if I had a gun too I would probably shoot my son." SLS Live 10-10-1999
* "You know, I'm a man and I can walk and I don't cost $200, right? Just to listen to music alone? What am I, gay?" Sludge Lord Sundays 12-2-1979
* "It sounds to me like the post office needs some reorganization. I'm not getting my packages on time, these people have enough time to shoot up their office. I don't think they have enough hours." Sludge Lord Sundays 9-21-1986
* "Adults are the cause of all our problems... The adults tell us when to go to bed, the adults make us do chores, the adults make us eat gross food... Who do you think owns the banks, Dolly?" Sludge Lord Juniors
* "Blossom, how about your new sex tape that just leaked? Yeah, audiences were shocked. You know, you were a child actor, little kid started up... you get into all that big kid stuff." Sludge Lord Sundays 8-24-2014