Shark Tank

## Overview

Double Heads Variety Hour presents "Shark Tank," where DJs Matt Fox & Dillon Minacci present a playlist combining electronic and Gurgle's favorite songs. They speak to entrepreneurs, watch two brothers fight, and buy a volcano. Listen to the episode.

## Episode Summary

Matt Fox and Dillon Minacci are about to start the show when they are interrupted by some noises underneath the soundboard. It turns out to be Gurgle, who the DJs allegedly abandoned in the studio after recording "100 Years of Double Heads." After they feed him some grain alcohol, he tells the DJs that he has a business proposal. Because of this, they decide to host an episode of *Shark Tank* and plan to invest in the best idea.

Gurgle's business plan is Gurgle's Wash Bucket, which is essentially just a hose underneath an underpass where he wants to wash cars, bikes, buckets, and kayaks. His plan is to employ fellow buckets, and he needs $25,000 to get started. Dillon is looking for work and starts to offer Gurgle $40,000 for a job, but Matt pulls Dillon to the side to let him know their Costco Hundos have been devalued, so they can't afford it.

They get a call from Carlos, who pitches an idea where drones pick up used doggie bags. He also has a plan to create a new type of dog food that will allow tracing in the poop so the drones know where to go. He only needs $10,000 for his business idea.

Their next call is from Billies McGee, an entrepreneur who pitches Volcano Chicken, a plan that involves buying property beside a volcano, raising chickens on said property, and then they are spicy to eat. He has experience doing this in Hawai'i but says that Indonesia could work too. Matt asks if the eggs are also spicy, but Billies hasn't thought about that before. He needs $420,000 and offers a 69% ownership in the company.

The next contestant shows up in-person. Her name is Anna-Marie Gates, and she is a Berkeley-based entrepreneur who claims that Bill Gates is her long-lost father – although he appears to have a restraining order against her. She grew up a "free range" orphan, meaning that she never had parents, and spent her early years in Colorado. Her business is Anna-Marie's Office Essentials, which is a package of 72 supplies that include a kapow machine, stingy clean, and carved charcoal, among others. The DJs realize that all her products are not new ideas, but she claims they are all unique ideas created by her team of 5-9 year old blind children in Kentucky (also all orphans).

Following Anna-Marie's pitch, the DJs are greeted by Luggy the Lugnut, who is a minor league baseball mascot from Lansing, MI. He is an actual lugnut and traveled for weeks to get to the show to pitch his idea. Luggy has created Eggsplosion Cleaner, which is a cleaner created solely for egg messes both physical and metaphorical. He created the cleaner with 21 proprietary ingredients and nutrients found in Lake Michigan. Dillon admits that he has been egged frequently both physically and metaphorically, so this product would be perfect for him. Luggy also admits to being egged a lot due to his baseball team not being very good. He wants $500,000.

They get a final phone call from Timmy McGee, the brother of Billies McGee, who claims that Billies stole his idea of Volcano Chicken, and that it would only work in Hawai'i. Timmy claims that his spicy chickens are eight heat notches above Nashville Hot Chicken and that the chickens are also all fireproof, which has proved helpful during the recent wildfires. Timmy is currently leasing a volcano but would like to purchase it outright with a $1 million investment. Billies then jumps on the mic and the two brothers get into a heated argument about who owns the rights to Volcano Chicken.

The DJs take a moment to determine the winner, and instead decide they are going to use their investment money to buy a volcano.

They decide the genres complement.

## Characters

Matt Fox

Dillon Minacci

Gurgle

Carlos

Billies McGee

Timmy McGee

Anna-Marie Gates

Luggy the Lugnut

## Featured Music

Carl Stone - "Bia Bia"

Four Tet - "Buchala"

WAR - "The World is a Ghetto"