Wrestlers' Court

### Cast

Tom Burgess • Laurie Blake • Rosie Nicholls • Oli Davis • Luke Owen • Lolo Brow • Sullivan Beau Brown

### Roster

Mable Syrup • Jurgen Flopp • Fred the Postman • Golden Joe • Silver Bro • The Prosecutioner • Quotidian Pain • The Denimatrix

### Other people

QC • QC's bodyguard • Referee • Bitch Doctor • Fight Nurse • Platinum Pete • Sargeant Beaver Bark • Stable Stirrup • Tony the Milkman • Doris • Kid Flippz

### Series

City British Wrestling series 2

**Wrestlers' Court** is the fourth episode of the second series of City British Wrestling.

## Official synopsis

*Time to go big or go home! The Colossal Tussle is looming, but before that the building feuds come to a head as the Precious Metals plead their innocence in wrestlers' court, the Milkman and Jurgen Flopp come face to face, and a shocking revelation about Mable Syrup puts her and the Denimatrix at odds.*

## Plot

### Mable speaks with QC

Backstage, Mable Syrup sat, in a vest and trousers, her jacket and hat on a hook. She took off her brown wig, shook out a blond cut, took out her teeth, washed off her makeup to reveal her tattoos, and generally got the Canadian out. She knocked on the door to QC's room. QC's bodyguard was in the shadows. After offering her a seat, he said he was impressed by her Regal Wrangle performance, and said that the Colossal Tussle was one week away. He asked her for the name of her opponent for the Tussle. She wanted a real challenger to take down; The Denimatrix. QC was pleased, and "Mable" said she'd do whatever he told her to do. He spoke with his bodyguard before telling her that her match against Denim would be a belt unification match. She asked him "what are you doing later?" and he replied "all things in time". She strutted out the door.

### Jurgen Flopp vs Fred the Postman

Jurgen Flopp entered to boos and hisses, but blew back kisses. He began to chant "Kid Flippz!" with the gullible audience, and took his seat in the middle of the ring. Fred the Postman strolled in, tossing letters and packges to various audience members, waved, set his post bag down, and got into the ring. His smile faded and he told Jurgen that he was a bad man. Jurgen said he didn't care, but Fred said he'd make him care. Fred said "you know what they say about us postmen, right? We like to fuck shit up".

On the bell, Jurgen went straight away to rake Fred's eyes, then grabbed him by the legs to get him into a sharp shooter, pressing it in as deep as he could and tearing a muscle. Jurgen dug his nails in to rip Fred's joints apart, but with a last burst of strength the postman broke out of the hold. Fred went for a Letterbox speed punch, bashing Jurgen despite the German no-selling it. Fred got him into a headlock for a Mailstorm Stunner, so Jurgen tried to choke him instead, bit into the back of his head and crushed his voicebox before trying to press his thumbs into Fred's eyes. However, Fred escaped and, after trying to talk sense into Jurgen, tried to hit him with an uppercut. Jurgen avoided this and tried to put the postman into a German suplex; a second wind came to Fred and he escaped before going once more for a Mailstorm Stunner. As he leapt into the air, Jurgen snapped his neck. The postman was declared winner by disqualification as the referee ran in.

Bitch Doctor and Fight Nurse came with a stretcher; Fight Nurse declared him alive, at least, and they carried him out. Jurgen picked up the postman's mailbag and said "time for one last delivery," before leaving.

### The Trial of Golden Joe

After several approved ads were shown on the Wrestletron, the lights faded up on a judge's bench, a witness' stand, and two tables for the trial of Golden Joe. The Right Honorable QC, QC made his way down the ramp, here for business. Joe was accused of the most heinous crime; assaulting a City British Wrestling legend. Joe entered to lazers everywhere; the Wrestletron showed his week spent in jail working out, helping in the kitchen, and making a shank because he was scared. He came down the ramp clutching his belt and 8x10s to chants of "No! No! No!" and a few more fireworks went off. Bro entered with no celebration, as usual. The Prosecutioner entered to the sound of bells as conselor for the prosecution. Joe made his way to the stand, while offering QC and The Prosecutioner both a tag team title which they refused. He pleaded not guilty and Bro upheld this. Platinum Pete limped down the ramp to the witness stand. Given that the incident was recorded on camera, Bro did not defend his brother, saying "we know he did it". QC tried to get him to ask Pete a question, but Bro said he didn't have a match at the Tussle yet and that QC should "watch your tongue". He did, however, ask Pete how he felt about the family; Pete said he had never been more proud of his family, particularly Bro. Bro also asked why Pete waited so long to press charges, and called him a coward. Pete said that Joe was a coward for running away to Hollywood, and that "when cowards come back, then cowards face consequences". Bro questioned Pete whether he himself was also a coward for walking away from the Regal Wrangle, but Pete said Bro was not on trial, and would not comment. Bro criticised Pete's methods of bringing up Joe. Pete told him that a champion needed a family, and to do it for Titanium Tina. As Pete left, Joe called him a "wanker".

Bro called another surprise witness; Golden Joe. He asked Joe why he assaulted Pete; Joe said "because he's a wanker". QC said there was only one other way to settle the issue; with a judge match in one hour's time.

### Mable Syrup vs Quotidian Pain

Mable Syrup entered on a sled pulled by twelve pure white huskeys down an avalanche of snow with pine trees and beavers. She landed with a pliet and threw off the fur she was wearing. Quotidian Pain came down the ramp with his hamper of baked goods, took out a pastry and offered it to Mable. She threw it over her shoulder. The Denimatrix appeared as the special guest referee on a sled pulled by mock huskeys made of denim. Mable held out a hand to shake hands with Quotidian, but he tried to crush it instead. She slapped him across the face with one of her gloves and shoved it in his mouth as he was making too many bakery puns, but missed. He retorted with the Kneading Frenzy. Mable grabbed Denim's head and smashed it into the head of Quotidian, then while they were in a pile attempted the Pancake Stack. Mable thanked Denim for her help, took a breadstick out of Quotidian's bag and hit him over the head with it, but it was too weak to do any damage. This upset Quotidian, who began talking to himself in French. Meanwhile, Denim tried to encourage Mable to not be a pansy. Quotidian recovered and performed his Glaze of Glory coup de grâce, but Mable put her legs in the air to make him fly like an angel. She launched him into the turnbuckle as he continued to make puns. Mable said he was annoying and expressed dissapointment that they used to be married. She gave him the Loonies and Toonies, but no Boonies. Denim tried to encourage him while Mable gave him an uppercut. Denim brought a chair into the ring and asked Mable to "be the champion you're supposed to be" and asked where she was really from, sensing something within her. Mable said, in a British accent, "I think you'll find out". She walked up to Quotidian with the chair, singing her song. However, unbeknownst to Mable Stable Stirrup and Sargeant Beaver Bark had heard Mable speak in her real accent. They looked at her as if they did not recognise her and walked away from the ring. She put the chair down, gestured for Denim to sit in it and held her hand while pinning Quotidian. Denim counted Quotidian out and Mable won.

QC entered and told Mable to tell Denim what she had decided; that she would go up against Denim at the Colossal Tussle and that it would be a belt unification match with only one champion. Denim said that in order to feel threatened, she'd have to be threatened by a real person. Mable said "oh yeah no for sure" in a British accent. QC added that the match would be a Rage in the Cage.

### Jurgen Flopp's promo

After more management-approved ad, Jurgen sat on the black side of a chess table, surrounded by a dozen members of expensive private security. He called Tony the Milkman a coward, and beckoned him to play a game with him.

### After the Calcium Chompionship match

Tony's mind was cast back to the end of the Calcium Chompionship match 18 years ago, having beaten Jurgen and kept the British milk distribution rights for 18 more years. An attractive blonde woman, Doris, waited in the stands, and showed him a baby boy; Kid Flippz. Tony assumed the boy was his.

### Tony the Milkman comes for a chat

From the top of the ramp, Tony marched straight down and positioned himself on the other side of the table. He spoke about how Jurgen gave up and that he would never do the same. The told the German that he had created a man who had nothing to lose; the most dangerous person he'd ever meet. Jurgen said he was right; he said that when he went back to Germany, he spoke to his mother who ran the MooCoo Corporation at the time. She said (in German) "I have no son". He said it was funny because Tony didn't have a son either. Tony mocked him for being a coward because of his lackeys in suits. He said he was a swiss army knife and a munster. He offered a fight at the Colossal Tussle, which Jurgen accepted because he wasn't chicken, he was cow.

### The Precious Metals vs The Prosecutioner

The Precious Metals came down the ramp together as the Wrestletron recapped the court face but only with closeups of Joe's face. Joe walked out with his two belts, seeing shapes in the fog, and stopped halfway to wait for Bro. The Tron turned off as Bro appeared. QC explained that it would be a handicap match against the Prosecutioner; if he lost, he'd be pronounced guilty.

Joe began by Joelining but American Pie 2 bell-and-bandcamped himself on the Prosecutioner and got himself stepped on. He decided against reaching out for Bro and tried to bring the Prosecutioner into a JoeLock, which failed, and then tried a Joe Blow to the groin, which damaged his hand instead. As the wall of justice pressed down, Joe asked Bro to distract the giant, but Bro stepped off the apron and started walking to the back. The Prosecutioner took the noose off his own neck as Joe tried to distract him with a Dick Power Chewy offer of "at least up to 30% off!" He offered some of the chewies to the judge to try; the shiny wrapper glinted off the light and distracted the judge enough that Joe was able to slip free. Joe jumped off the bottom rope to put on a Full Golden, but his big new arms were not flexible enough to get around the big man's body. The Prosecutioner grabbed the back of his head and brought him round but Joe leapt off the man's leg and went into an RKJoe, dropping him down to one knee. Joe, in the belief that he did nothing wrong, defended his innocence with a Golden Shower and his Rock Solid finisher, but the Prosecutioner's hands caught him and put him in a noose for the Final Prosecution finisher.

Bro stepped in and gave the Prosecutioner a big boot to the back of the head. He dropped the still-conscious Joe. Bro went for his Silver Spooner finisher but was brushed to the side like a fly and he collided with the turnbuckle. Joe was in the noose for the Final Prosecution once more. Joe saw Bro in the corner and all faded black

The Prosecutioner dropped Joe and left the ring. QC addressed the brothers' failure and pronounce Joe guilty of assaulting a CBW legend almost fired him from City British Wrestling forever. However, as a personal favour to Platinum Pete and his bloodline, QC gave the sentence of a match at the Colossal Tussle in which the loser would leave town forever.