Julia & Rupert

**Julia & Rupert** is the two-hundred sixty-third webisode in the KateModern video series. It is also the one-hundred eighth video of season two.

## Transcript

(*Sophie excitedly shows a wedding program to the camera as she enters the Hymn of One Centre's main room. Cut to Sophie greeting Hymn of One members*.)

**Sophie:** Hi, I'm Sophie.

**Kevin:** (*Shakes Sophie's hand*.) Hi, I'm Kevin. Pleased to meet you.

**Sophie:** Kevin. Hi.

**Sofina:** I'm Sofina. Nice to meet you.

**Sophie:** Sofina, nice to meet you.

(*Cut to Sophie approaching a group of fans*.)

**Sophie:** Hi!

**Tom:** Hello, how are you?

**Sophie:** Tom!

**Tom:** Nice to see you. (*Hugs Sophie*.)

**Sophie:** Nice to see you.

(*Cut to Sophie greeting another fan*.)

**Sophie:** I'm Sophie.

**Fan:** Nice to meet you, Sophie. (*Shakes Sophie's hand*.)

**Sophie:** Hello.

(*Cut to the Hymn of One members greeting people at the door. Cut to Donovan talking to the members*.)

**Donovan:** So are you guys, um... I take it you're with the Hymn of One? (*The members nod*.) The way things are expanding right now, I'd say by 2010, Hymn of One will be very popular in China.

(*Cut to Sophie looking at the decorations*.)

**Sophie:** Hymn of One... It feels a little bit odd being here.

(*Sophie motions for the cameraman to follow her. Cut to Sophie running toward Charlie, Lauren, and Lee. She hugs Charlie and Lauren*.)

**Charlie:** How are you?

**Lauren:** Soph- How are you doing, Sophie?

**Sophie:** Good, how are you doing?

**Charlie:** So good to see you.

**Sophie:** Hi, Lee... (*Lee smiles nervously at Sophie*.) Hi.

**Lee:** You look really pretty today, Sophie.

(*Cut to Lauren and Charlie looking through their programs*.)

**Donovan:** Excuse me. Welcome, brothers and sisters and all that are here to witness this very special occassion. Firstly, we shall form the Circle of Eternal Unity. So please, everybody, have a seat around me. (*Motions for everyone to sit in a circle*.) Have a seat on the floor. Form a circle, a nice U-shaped circle around here. Well done. I want to feel you radiate around me.

(*Sophie mouths "The floor? at the camera*.)

My name is Donovan, Donovan Langely, and my heart is swollen by the sight of all these new people in our humble building. It's very important that we devote a moment for reflection; a pause for stillness. Please pray in silence with me.

(*Donovan puts his fists together and everyone attempts to mimic him*.)

We pray in silence so that we may hear the very sound of our soul.

(*The door is heard opening and Gavin enters noisily, carrying a plastic bag filled with alcoholic beverages*.)

**Gavin:** Sorry. Sorry. I, uh...

**Donovan:** Please, join us!

**Gavin:** Sorry, it's just- uh, there seem to be four weddings... just happen to be filmed this. (*Starts to sit next to Charlie*.) Uh, sorry.

**Donovan:** Have a seat. Oh, and please, feel free to leave your gifts at the gift table, if you would. If you'd be so kind.

**Gavin:** Oh, gift- Yeah. A wedding present. (*Points at his bag*.) That's- That's definitely what that is. Uh... (*Puts the bag on the gift table*.) Sorry.

(*Gavin pulls a beer out as Donovan talks, but hides it*.)

**Donovan:** Rupert and Julia have received many messages of support and kindness as they embark on their journey--

(*Gavin looks around for a seat*.)

**Lee:** (*Whispering*.) Sit here, Gav!

(*Gavin sits in between Lee and Charlie*.)

**Donovan:** --in the bond of eternal unity. (*Lee waves at Gavin. Gavin attempts to kiss Charlie on the cheek, but she pulls away*.) To begin, we must all bond as one with The Chord of Unity.

(*Donovan puts his fists together and begins singing a single note. A few people begin singing along*.)

**Donovan:** Come on, join with me.

(*Donovan travels around the circle, encouraging people to sing along*.)

**Donovan:** Louder, please. Just a little bit louder. (*Lee begins to sing in a high-pitched screech*.) But don't scream; don't scream. Good start. There we go. The Chord of Unity! The Chord of U-Major! We have attained unity! (*Bows*.) Thank you, thank you.

(*Donovan gestures to a nearby door and Julia enters with her father and Meryl*.)

**Donovan:** Welcome, Julia. And welcome her father, Bill.

(*They walk to the front of the room as people whisper*.)

**Bill:** You from the states?

**Julia:** Dad!

**Bill:** Just saying, they're sitting on the bloody floor.

**Julia:** It's an alternative ceremony.

**Bill:** No, it's an alternative to a ceremony.

**Donovan:** We now admit Rupert, the integral half of our bond.

(*A few clap as three shrouded figures enter the room and walk to the front*.)

**Donovan:** You, Rupert, complete our circle. Please, once again, pray total and divine silence. The unity cup! (*Kelly brings the unity cup to Donovan and bows. Donovan kisses the cup and raises it*.) It is now the moment that our bondees shall sip The Elixir of the Eternal Bond. In the Hymn of One, we believe that the shared imbibing of this everlasting elixir is the very first moment of their perpetual journey together.

Everyone, please repeat after me these words. There is no turning back.

**Everyone:** There is no turning back.

**Donovan:** When we drink the elixir...

**Everyone:** When we drink the elixir...

**Donovan:** The bond is forever more.

**Everyone:** The bond is forever more.

**Donovan:** Do you, Julia Amanda Cowan, accept nourishment from the life force of the Hymn of One?

(*Julia drinks from the cup and hands it back to Donovan*.)

**Julia:** I do.

**Donovan:** Louder, please.

**Julia:** I do.

(*Donovan nods. Cut to Sophie and Lee talking. Cut to Donovan addressing the shrouded figure*.)

**Donovan:** And do you, Rupert Van Helden, accept nourishment from the life force of the Hymn of One?

**Steve:** (*Pulling back his hood*.) You must be joking!

**Julia:** Steve...

**Steve:** This is ridiculous! Look at you all! This is just ridiculous, sat her like this. (*Laughs*.) Oh, what you gonna do?

(*Julia slaps Steve*.)

**Donovan:** Don't listen to this.

**Julia:** Well, where's Rupert? I'm not listening until Rupert's here!

**Steve:** Julia, I-I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ruining your big day!

**Julia:** You're a child, you freak!

**Steve:** Julia, look at this! This is ridiculous! Can you not see all this? Come on, this is just messing around now, all these people here like this. It's just stupid! Ridiculous and evil, a-and I don't want you to be married into this lot.

**Donovan:** Evil, be gone! (*Steve spills the elixir on him*.) The elixir!

**Julia:** Oh, god...

**Steve:** Julia, please! Yeah, I know you all want to kick me out, and that's fair enough, but look at this! Look at yourself, wearing purple on your wedding day, drinking piss from a goblet while your dad sat on the floor! And all your friends 'round here like this, it's just ridiculous, Julia.

(*Julia cries to her father*.)

**Bill:** He's got a point.

**Donovan:** No. No, my friend. Look around. We are not evil. The Hymn of One is fun and divine.

**Steve:** Oh, shutup, you sniveling pea dome. I mean, look at you! I'm here to tell you, all of you, that The Celestial Network is there for you! Game over, boys. We ex-Hymn of One-ers have left and we have started our own group. A group of love and unity, and it's there for everyone. So whoever wants to join, love and unity--

(*Rupert enters, clapping*.)

**Rupert:** Bravo. Sorry I'm late, everyone; traffic's really bad when your tires have been slashed and your front door's been super glued shut. (*Gavin laughs*.) Excuse me.

(*Rupert enters the circle and hugs Julia*.)

**Rupert:** You know, paper thin, isn't it? Your flawed, selfish little gang? You know, today is supposed to be the most important day of Julia's life. And what, you want to ruin it with some stunt? On our Unity Bond day! (*Hugs Julia*.)

**Gavin:** That langered tool...

(*Charlie gets up and walks to Steve*.)

**Charlie:** I think we should go. Steve? Come on.

(*Charlie grabs Steve's hand and heads to the door*.)

**Gavin:** Oh, come on. Babe. Baby, wait. What are you doing? He's a clown.

**Charlie:** Gav, I'm really sorry. I need to be with Steve.

**Gavin:** You don't need to be with- Look at him; he's ridiculous. Come on.

**Charlie:** No-no-no. No. Gav, I'm sorry.

**Gavin:** What d'you mean-?

**Charlie:** Steve needs me.

**Gavin:** Babe, don't do this to me again.

**Charlie:** No.

**Gavin:** What about the other night? What, did that not mean anything?

**Charlie:** Gav, I'm sorry.

**Gavin:** Did that not mean a single thing?

**Charlie:** Steve needs me. He needs me.

**Gavin:** You're embarrassing me in front of everybody. Please don't do this.

**Charlie:** No, Gav. (*Leaves with Steve*.)

**Gavin:** Don't do this! Ple--

(*Everyone stares at Gavin as he stands at the door. Gavin shrugs and walks to the gift table. He grabs a bottle of Smirnoff out of his bag*.)

**Gavin:** You really want to share my wedding present? Carry on.

(*The camera pans to Julia and Rupert. Donovan gestures and the two men there with Steve leave*.)

**Lee:** Bye, Jeremy.

**Julia:** I don't want mixed up any of this crazy stuff. Dad, I just wanted to be married to Rupert.

**Rupert:** We can still do all that, okay? If that's what you want. Whatever you want, I'll offer to provide. I mean, do you- do you still wanna...?

**Julia:** Yeah. Sorry.

(*Julia and Rupert join hands*.)

**Donovan:** Do you both accept energy and nourishment from the life force of the Hymn of One forever more?

**Julia and Rupert:** I do.

**Donovan:** I now proclaim you eternally bonded! You may unify.

(*Julia and Rupert kiss and everyone claps*.)

**Rupert:** Thank you, everyone.

(*Cut to Gavin chugging from his bottle of vodka as everyone greets one another. Julia tosses the bouquet and Lee catches it. Lauren hugs him. Cut to Meryl standing alone by the gift table. She covers the camera with her hand. Cut to Kelly taking pictures. Gavin drips vodka from his mouth as he sulks in the back of the room. Cut to Lauren, Sophie, and Lee talking. Gavin walks by and goes to Julia and Rupert*.)

**Donovan:** Can I help you?

(*Gavin grabs a glass of wine from a table and puts his arm around Rupert*.)

**Gavin:** Hi, Rupert. Rupo, eh?

**Donovan:** That's- that's my wine, sir.

**Rupert:** Hey.

**Gavin:** Yeah, how you doing, Rupert? Congratulations.

**Rupert:** Thank you.

**Gavin:** (*Shakes Rupert's hand*.) Rupo, Rupo, you dog. Uh... You may have your knockers...

**Rupert:** Yeah...

**Gavin:** But your wife's got nicer tits! (*Attempts to grope Julia*.)

**Rupert:** Alright, that's enough!

(*Everyone yells at Gavin*.)

**Rupert:** He needs help and he needs love. Get your present, alright? Get him out of here.

(*Lee tries to pull Gavin outside*.)

**Gavin:** Don't you- Don't you touch me. Don't even start. Oh, what you want?

**Rupert:** I want you out of this wedding before I have to resort to violence.

(*Gavin yells at Julia as Lee tries to pull him away*.)

**Rupert:** Get out. Get out!

**Gavin:** I'm not the one who- I'm not the one who- doesn't need help. I don't need help! If anything, anybody-- Why does everybody always do this to me, anyway? Everybody's just-just meets here and j-just betrays me. I'm sick of it! I'm sick all this! (*Throws a bowl of peanuts in the air and Julia screams*.) All this pathetic--

**Rupert:** Show some respect!

**Gavin:** I'll show you some respect. (*Tosses vodka on Rupert*.) How's that for you?

**Julia:** Gavin!

**Gavin:** I'm sorry, here. (*Tosses vodka on Bill. Lee attempts to calm Gavin*.) Get off me! I'm sick of all this bullshit!

(*Gavin overturns the gift table and Julia screams. Gavin pushes away Lee as he makes his way to the door*.)

**Gavin:** You're all shiteaters!

**Rupert:** You are not welcome here.

**Gavin:** Don't touch me.

(*Gavin pulls his arm away from Lee and storms out*.)

**Lee:** Gav...

(*Cut to Rupert looking angrily at the camera*.)

## Notes

* At 11 minutes and 36 seconds, this video is the longest original-content video in either the KateModern or lonelygirl15 series. The previous record holder was The Hen Night. The longest video ever title is still held by Kate Modern: Precious Blood.
* Steve is barefoot during the video.