recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Aren't All Bags Bags of Holding

Official art by Simon Greiner

## Description

Our adventurers go shopping, are reunited with an old friend and meet a long lost relative.

## Synopsis

The Dragon Friends (Bobby and Freezo) have encountered two Hobgoblin guards, who take them to meet the Hobgoblin Mother. They are lead to a fancy house, where they meet the ostentatiously dressed Philge, happy to see them.

Philge tells her friends about all her Goblin servants, including Fuckgoblins, which Freezo asks to meet. He goes off with them for a deep conversation. Bobby meets Geroff, Philge's accountant, who reveals that Philge moved the hobgoblins to the city and expenses are running low, but "the mother has a plan" so it will all be okay. Philge reveals that her plan is to chop up their gold pieces so that they have more gold pieces. Bobby and Philge take the rest of the gold and leave, after giving a stirring speech.

Before going back to the sewers to meet Janos Meer, they decide to go shopping. Freezo goes to General Pantaloons to buy a baker's outfit. Bobby goes to the Magic Shop, and meets Dilge. Philge enters, covered in mud, and recognizes him. Freezo enters, dressed as a baker, and buys a Robe of Useful Items and a Bag of Holding. Bobby buys an Immovable Rod and gets his Dust of Disappearance identified. The shop disappears and Freezo tells Dilge that he was fired.

Bob finds them and tells them that they need to go back to Janos Meer. Freezo goes back to the Temple of Mystra because he is germophobic. The rest of the Dragon Friends go to the sewers.

## People

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Freezo
* Bobby Pancakes

### Non-player Characters (NPCs)

* Dilge
* Bran-Bran and Trillop (hobgoblin guards)
* Sally and Patricia (fuckgoblins)
* Geroff Jr. (goblin accountant)
* Geroff Sr.
* Illegible Magic Shop Owner
* Bob (Janos Meer's henchman)

### Bestiary

* Fuckgoblins
* Hobgoblins

## Places

* General Pantaloons
* Magic Shop

## Themes, tropes and running jokes

* Woke Freezo - Freezo takes pains to specify that he is interested in the human stories of sex workers
* Bakers and Baking - Freezo convinces Sally to follow her passions and become a baker
* Philge in Charge Now
* Freezo's Wank Screams

## Quotes

* "Remember, my hobchildren! Days ago when you were motherless and I birthed you all, in that beautiful ceremony that made everybody scream, now me your mother and me must fly coop to bring back worms, because it is my understanding that you all like worms." - Philge's stirring speech to the goblins
* "If one more person becomes a baker, it's heart attacks for everyone!" — Dave, after the party appear to be starting to convince Dilge to take up baking

## Table Talk

* Due to technical issues, the first 15 minutes of this episode were not recorded and there was no music
* All NPCs are played by The Bear Pack
* Tote bags labeled "Technically, all bags are bags of holding" are available from the Dragon Friends merch website.
Brasley

Brasely is a young cleric of Pelor who serves a small town in Barovia under the tutelage of Father O'Donovich. When Father O'Donovich is driven insane by the machinations of Strahd von Zarovich, Brasley is forced into the spotlight to try and lead the town against an onslaught of wolf minions.

Later, Brasley witnesses Philge murdering the maddened Father O'Donovich by pummeling him against a tree. Their protestations of the father's betrayal fall on deaf ears and he begins to summon an angry mob.
Acererak

**Acererak** is the architect of the *Tomb of Annihilation* and a notorious character in thecanonical *Dungeons & Dragons* universe. He was first written as the main villain in the infamous *Tomb Of Horrors* adventure for the original edition of D&D and has returned several times in standard products.

Acererak is an arch-lich (or in previous editions, a demi-lich) - an undead spellcaster - of exceptional power, able to travel between worlds. His usual goal is to collect powerful souls to fuel his plans to have the undead take over the world, which he usually does by building ridiculously lethal dungeon complexes, filling them with treasure, and waiting for adventurers to enter them to die.

In *Dragon Friends*, because of the setting of the Tomb of Annihilation inside Season 3, Acererak is instead the developer of the *Tomb Of Annihilation* arcade machine in the Skyway Lounge who invites and encourages the friends to help beta test the game. At the end of the Tomb, he's baffled to learn that the Friend's broke an important part of his Tomb. He then leaves Freezo to complete the Tomb and win the game.
Dragon Friends of Stormwreck Isle

***Dragon Friends of Stormwreck Isle*** is a campaign by The Dragon Friends set within the same world as The Dragon Friends, but otherwise unconnected.

## Episodes

* Part One (December 5th, 2022)
* Part Two (December 11th, 2022)
* Part Three (December 25th, 2022)
* Part Four (January 8th, 2023)
* Part Five (January 15th, 2023)
* Part Six (January 22nd, 2023)
Margrave Rinselbottom

**Margrave Rinselbottom** was the librarian working the reception at the central Internet node in Freeside.

Philge and Freezo entered the node to deploy the Haywire Cube, and distracted Margrave by locking her in the employee lounge. After the Haywire Cube was activated and Philge learned it would result in the destruction of Freeside, Philge offered to try and rescue her but she refused in favor of going to the toilet to pass the 20 muffins she ate while locked in the lounge.
Affuckgobbo (Cocktail)

**Affuckgobbo**

* 2 shots hot espresso
* Fill a shot glass with 1/2 rye whiskey, 1/4 Drambuie, and 1/4 peach schnapps, and add it to the espresso
* Pour the mixture over a generous scoop of vanilla gelato or ice cream in a martini glass
* Blast some nutmeg all over the top [not pictured, you sickos], along with a pinch of kosher salt
* Pursue your dreams, unconventional though they may be.
Hachibachi (Cocktail)

* *105ml (3.5oz) Prosecco Frizzante or other semi-sweet semi-sparkling white wine*
* *1/2 tsp egg replacer powder, or 3/4 tbsp egg white, or equivalent aquafaba/Fee Foam*
* *1/8 tsp edible gold shimmer powder*

*Combine ingredients in a shaker with solid ice. Shake and strain through a hawthorn into a chilled coupe. Leave to allow foam to settle and any ice chips to melt.*

*Garnish with finely crushed honeycomb and a peeled white grape.*

This is a pretty sweet drink and like all Prosecco drinks it will sneak up on you. If you find the elderflower too dominant you can drop the St Germain a little or up the Prosecco. Too sweet? Switch to a Brut Prosecco.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CAMwBNLHd7t/
Hello Bees

"Hello, bees?" is a running gag proliferated by Bobby Pancakes when he hears buzzing noises. This began as his response to answering a phone/earpiece where there is a buzzing sound. Bobby also seems to have a thing about bees in general, including dreams about them.

This phrase has become known for its use in Critical Role, beginning in C2E45 spoken by Laura Bailey. It appeared in Dragon Friends over a year prior DF 3.04.

### Appearances

* I've Never Seen a Gooch That Couldn't Be Improved
* You're Going To Die In This Cave
* Inadvisable Space Combat
* The King of Feathers (TOA 2.03) - Alex Lee proclaims "Hello beads!" when Freezo examines a beaded pendant

### See Also

* Hello Bees (Cocktail)
* "Hello Bees?" t-shirts are available from the Dragon Friends merch website.
Frisko's Camp

Frisko's Camp is the base of operations for Frisko the Goblin King. It is located in the lands between Daggerford and Waterdeep and home to goblins, hobgoblins and bugbears. Since Frisko is obsessed with the law and legalese, the main chamber is fashioned into a roughshod courtroom, and Frisko presides in judgment from a central throne/toilet.

The camp is disbanded after Frisko's murder and the subsequent coronation of Philge as the Mother of Goblins. She prefers a lavish lifestyle in Waterdeep's Uptown.
James

James was an 18-year-old hobgoblin living in Frisko's Camp. He and his best friend Clive were encountered by Freezo, Kithercy and Bobby Pancakes as they attempted to escape hobgoblin captivity.

Drunk from Philge's coronation party, James blurted that he had always wanted to be a doctor, which the group immediately tried to exploit. Kithercy attempted to cast "cure light wounds" to prove she was a doctor herself, but this backfired when James interpreted her sudden lunge as an attack. Kithercy then panicked and cast "holy smite," which fatally exploded his face.
Entirely Justified Comeuppance (Cocktail)

**Entirely Justified Comeuppance**

* 2 oz mezcal
* 1/2 oz peach schnapps or peach brandy
* Several dashes herbal bitters (here: rosemary-grapefruit-peppercorn)
* Muddle some plum slices in the shaker, shake on ice, strain
* Garnish with a sprig of charred rosemary
* Rue and/or celebrate the inevitable consequences
Hobgoblin Mother (Cocktail)

### The Hobgoblin Mother

Exposed briefly to a life of royalty, Philge had her minions craft a unique beverage for her coronation. The resulting drink was partly responsible for the founding of the fuckgoblin industry. Drink them carefully is what I'm trying to say.

In a mixing glass with ice, stir:

* 15ml (1/2 oz) lime juice
* 15ml (1/2 oz) Midori
* 15ml (1/2 oz) Licor 43
* 15ml (1/2 oz) Blue Gin (or regular gin, but blue gin is really nice)
* 10ml (1/3 oz) Absinthe

Strain into a chilled Nick & Nora glass and top with sparkling mineral water.

Garnish with dry, salty rat jerky (or beef jerky if you can't find rat).

Enjoy, but... very carefully.

#### Tasting Notes

This is quite a sweet and easy little drinker, and I imagine Philge was quite taken with its dainty yet meaty presentation.

The nose is heavy on melon and vanilla, with a brief sharp citrus and anise hit followed by a luxurious and lingering fruity finish. If you're not a meat eater you can omit the rat, but do replace it with salty protein (maybe beer nuts?) both for thematic reasons and to balance the powerful hen's night style *joie de vivre* that lies in wait for the reckless or unwary.
Hofferman Family

A rich family located in Daggerford. When the patriarch died under questionable circumstances, they all returned for the reading of the will by family lawyer Elsabet Trusket. All played by Carlo Ritchie, they seem to have many secrets.

### Also see...

Jovian Hofferman

Diametra Flossian née Hofferman

Margaritte Hofferman
Archivist

The planeswalker known only as "The Archivist" is a seemingly immortal magic users of prodigious skill. He watches over The House Eternal and seems to spend most of his time reading books. His accent varies and his magics seem to range from more mundane normal spells to the depths of what can only be called sex magic.

The Archivist is also able to record and recall memories of others. He uses this in the trial of the Dragon Friends to access then memories of Philge that she herself could not recall when they were saved by Johnny Playstation and given the Heart of Glass

The Archivist is enraged when he discovers that is was Freezo who escaped many months before. Freezo was in disguise when he visited the house eternal previously however his "very normal chongus" identified himself as one and the same.

He shows them a recording of the event when Freezo stabbed himself with a knife to escape (due to his immortality allowing him to glitch out of the room)

The archivist is stunned into inaction when in a very quick succession Freezo escapes again. Bobby Pancakes murders himself. Freezo opens the door allowing Philge to carry the corpse of Bobby onto the Flying Dutchman

## Spells

* Block The Seed - The caster is unable to impregnate or become impregnated (the caster is still susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases)
* Cursed Orgasm
* Liar's Curse - The caster can choose either the Penis or the nose of a target. When the target of Liar's Curse lies the chosen area becomes engorged.
Me So Mad I Want To Punch Me Own Balls

A classic hit from half-orc band The Grumpy Boyz, Philge heard an acoustic version of this song at a show in Waterdeep once.

In Jahaka Anchorage, Pt. 2, Philge and Elok Jahakan sing the chorus of the song, which goes like this:

```
Me so mad me want to punch me own balls

Me so mad me want to punch me own balls

I already done punching all of yours

Me so mad me gotta punch me own balls

```

The verses, if indeed there are any, are unknown, but almost certainly horrifying.
Cloacas

A Cloaca is a bodily orifice present on birds, reptiles and amphibians which acts as a single orifice combining urinary, digestive, and reproductive functions (and, in some turtles, even *breathing*).

The Dragon Friends talk about cloacas more than a normal group of people might. The root (of the tendency, not the cloacas) may be in Simon Greiner, who often is the one to bring them up.

#### Appearances

* 6,000 Uncontrollable Buttholes (2.16)
* Fane of the Night Serpent, Pt 1 (TOA 2.04) — Ben Jenkins proclaims that he would just once like to get through a D&D campaign without hearing the phrase "cloaca discharge"
Bassbass Wihouveberry

**Bassbass Wihouveberry** is a half-elf wandering bard encountered by the Dragon Friends in Season 4. She performed a song for faerie queen Titania as a gift from her husband Oberon, but he was almost immediately sucked into a shadow portal, which led to the arrest of the Dragon Friends and Wihouveberry.

Wihouveberry plays the bass guitar in a band called Just Me, which is just her. She is very proud of her mother, a human vegan chef named Guitarguitar Wihouveberry; her father, however, is distant and shows little interest in her.

Once, after a particularly lackluster gig, a creepy child that she sees only at night gifted her with a powerful magical necklace that improves her singing abilities (and beauty) but forces her to tell the truth while wearing it. It also has the ability to absorb magical energy from other sources touched by the wearer, but must then store the absorbed energy within itself, potentially overloading and creating unpredictable effects.

Her bass guitar can transform into a deadly crossbow at a moment's notice.

Ensorcelled revealed that Bassbass is in fact the goddess Mystra trapped in a human form by a ritual performed by Freezo, and her mortal memories are false. Mystra, the second deity of magic in the classic D&D universe, is responsible for the creation of the rules for mortal spellcasting (*Mystra's Ban* is the in-character reason for the existence of spell slots, limited levels, and casting specific times). Her canonical background also mentions that she became extremely jaded in her later life as a result of being the target of the plans of **every** random being who wanted more power.

*A Very D&D Stream* revealed that Bassbass' identity as Mystra was a late change to the campaign, in part because of its appropriateness to the lyrics of Tiny Bud. Originally, Hyperion Max was going to be Mystra's incarnation.
Freezo's Wank Screams

The gang can always tell when Freezo is wanking due to distinctive blood-curdling screams.

This joke originated in The Less Theatrical Hobgoblin (1.03) when Freezo tried to convince Mistress Lorna to not enter his chambers because he was wanking. He failed his deception check, leading the cast to wonder how that was possible - how would she know that he wasn't?

This is how.

### Appearances

* The Less Theatrical Hobgoblin (1.03)

* Aren't All Bags Bags of Holding (1.07) (with the fuckgoblins)
* Worst Rescuers Ever (2.14)
Frightened Turtle

A Frightened Turtle is a cocktail in Freeside consisting of equal parts absinthe and green chartreuse, shaken with a turtle.

A more drinkable real-world equivalent might be The Biter:

* *1 1/2 oz gin*
* *3/4 oz lemon juice*
* *3/4 oz Chartreuse*
* *1/4 oz simple syrup*
* *dash Absinthe*

*Stir or shake with ice [and a turtle]*

*Strain into a cocktail glass.*
I'm the best

```
I'm the best, I'm the best,
On a flying ship, no less,
As I knew you would be missing me,
I'm back without request.

I was gone, I've returned
With my first mate, John Starburn,
Though my enemies were vicious,
Now they're sleeping with the fishes.

Woke up on the bluffs of chance
Bright red coat, tight new pants,
Hyperion Max, the one for whom we quest;
Hop on the Flying Dutchman,
Yes, I am the captain,
I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best.

Foe by foe, one by one,
I fly-kicked most everyone,
Don't lie to me that you're not unimpressed;
You thought that I'd forget you,
Baston to the rescue,
I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best,
I am the best.

```
Forget about Yonder

## Episode Order

### Next

An Embarrasing Lack of Yes And-ing (8.10)

## Description

*It seems that the Dragon Friends have made their escape, with one exception. Now their quest turns into a race against time, with surely no distractions, big or little.*

## Synopsis

This episode entry is in need of a synopsis. Please consider taking a few minutes to add one.

## Cast

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Bobby Pancakes
* Freezo
* Baston (through an audio recording made by Edan Lacey)
Hanna-Barbera Voice Reel

Ben Jenkins frequently uses voices from Hanna-Barbera cartoons to torment Dave.

* Crocodile - Snagglepuss
* Albrecht Rumsfield (and the Dragon Friends impersonating him) - Snagglepuss
* Keeeith (and all deep gnomes) - Droopy
* LOGAN - Droopy, when the Dragon Friends decide to "fire" him by selecting an alternate voice/personality
* Ras Nsi - Ben attempts to make the undead paladin's voice sound like Sylvester, after promising Dave he would not do this kind of thing anymore
Death in Space (Cocktail)

* 2 oz gin
* 1/2 oz Jägermeister (more or less to adjust for bitterness)
* 1/2 oz limoncello (more or less to adjust for sweetness)
* Splash lemon juice
* A few dashes of herbal bitters (here: rosemary-grapefruit-peppercorn)
* Fresh lavender in the shaker (and floated on top as a garnish)

(Note: it's probably easier to find lavender bitters and fresh rosemary, and the overall flavor effect will be similar. Not that we'd expect to find anyone geeky enough to be interested in this on a wiki dedicated to a D&D improv show, but the rosemary-lavender combo is derived from Victorian flower language, in which rosemary represents Remembrance and lavender represents Mistrust -- in other words, don't sleep on post-spacedeath Bobby...)
Gribbits

Official Art by Simon Greiner

**Gribbits** (originally named **Gribbons**, but no one cared) is the lawyer appointed the Dragon Friends when they were on trial at Frisko's Camp. He is tricked by Freezo to serve as their Champion during the Trial of Cunning. Despite his protestations, when they escaped, they took him with them. He escaped from them at the outskirts of Waterdeep, but they met him again working for Janos Meer, when they again forced him to go with them, this time by Philge strapping him to her chest.

Gribbits hates the Dragon Friends, and simply does not want to be with them.

They meet him again in the first season of Tomb of Annihilation. He becomes more comfortable and friendly with the Dragon Friends after Philge attaches a chain to him and hurls him at an enemy, using him as a makeshift flail. This earns him the nickname "Gribbits The Weapon". During this adventure, Philge also noted that Gribbits has a bad dong.

When the Dragon Friends are being tried for the murder of Hyperion Max on Primus, they are given the chance to summon legal representation from anywhere in the multiverse. Freezo immediately requests Gribbits be summoned, and he is plucked from the middle of his wedding. After doing his best to secure a plea bargain for the Friends, Gribbits is dismissed, sent back to "approximately" the same time and space from where he was taken, but it is implied his bride may have already left him for an old boyfriend, assuming he had jilted her at the altar.

Gribbits appears prominently in the adventure module The Gribbits Detective Agency, in which he hires the player characters to investigate Janos Meer's disappearance.

Gribbits reappears in Season 9 as the lawyer for Bethanee Smiles. He is revealed to have been rescued from Hell by Bethanee, so that he may advise on the lawful discharge of the contract she made with Lysteria Obsterix to save Bushu. Gribbits advised Bethanee that the best way to lure the Dragon Friends would be to "just give them a horse or some shit" which did indeed work. Gribbits broke his leg and the Dragon Friends neglected to heal him. Freezo, after ingesting an exploding spellbook, attempted to "help him" by casting Chill Touch (*not* a healing spell). In the process of this spell Freezo also lost control of the Wild Magic imbued in him by the devoured spellbook, and cast fireball centered on himself, further injuring Gribbits. Gribbits was thus transformed to ash. In the hopes of one day saving him, Gribbits was preserved with a spare the dying spell by Bethanee, and scooped into a branded Midori Illusions cocktail shaker.

Gribbits had organised a revenge funeral which the Dragon Friends attended in Ep 9.07. Michael Hing used *this very* Fan-Made-Dragon-Friends-Wiki during the live show to research facts for Freezo's 'heartfelt' eulogy.
Dice of Inspiration

A mechanic added in 5th Edition D&D. When a player does something really special, Dave Harmon grants them a "dice of inspiration" (called just "inspiration" in the rules), which they can hold onto and can use as a re-roll at some time in the future.

#### Dice Awarded

* Hey, I'm Worgin' Here! (1.04) (to Bobby)
* Shut Up, I Look Great (1.09) (to Bobby)
* The Bravest Man in Wickshire (2.06) (to Edvard)
* This Is Who I Am (2.09) (to Bobby)
* I'm Going To Shoot Your Friends (3.12) (to Philge)

#### Dice Used

* Hey, I'm Worgin' Here! (1.04)
* Shut Up, I Look Great (1.09)
* But I'm Riding a She-Orc (2.11)

#### Dice Revoked

* A Dog With Human Eyes (3.17), from Bobby, for a bad pun

#### Dice Denied

* Fane of the Night Serpent, Pt 3 (TOA 2.06) in which Alex demands one for making fun of Dave's pronunciation of the word "pestle", to which Dave's only reply is "fuck you"
Dragon Huddle

A "Dragon Huddle" is when the Dragon Friends ignore everyone else in the room, huddle together and try to regroup and formulate a plan. This may or may not include their current allies and/or enemies. In almost all cases, others present in the room respect this request for a 'moment of privacy' and keep their distance to not eavesdrop on the conversation, even when the situation *really* should not allow for this to happen.

It recurs frequently across all seasons and timelines, including spin-offs like Twitch streams where these huddles have different names but are functionally the same. The Beef Babes, for example, have the *Beef Break* (later renamed to the *Security Break*).

#### Notable appearances

* It Like She Me (1.02, the first ever Dragon Huddle)
* The Less Theatrical Hobgoblin (1.03)
* Non-Lethal Witchbolt (1.06)
* I Step Into The Moonlight (1.12)
* This Plan Seems Solid (2.10)
* Stream of Annihilation (TOA.00)
* This Boy Fresno (3.18)
* I Stabbed That Man Incredibly Well (5.06)

## Facebook Group

During the Twitch Q&A stream in June 2019 an official Facebook group was created under the title "Dragon Huddle"
Janos Meer

No Picture Provided.

Janos Meer, also known as the Beggar King, was the leader of the Waterdeep Guild of Thieves, Tricksters and Beggars. He controlled a vast criminal network including operatives such as Clodric and Bobby Pancakes.

Before the events of the podcast, Bobby fled Waterdeep to escape a debt of 100 gold coins owed to Janos. While Bobby immediately repaid this debt upon his return, Janos was not satisfied and pressed him into service, demanding a series of dangerous tasks through the course of Non-Lethal Witchbolt (1.06) and Aren't All Bags Bags of Holding (1.07.)

He held a particular hatred for the Shipwrights' Guild and in particular their leader, Albrecht Rumsfield.

Janos was an avid art lover and collector of local works. Since he didn't have very good eye for art, his collection was mostly paintings of well-endowed dragons.

Janos has a strong dislike of traps, due to having walked into one once, resulting in the loss of both of his eyes. Fortunately, a magic spell brought them back, but Janos vowed never to walk into one again.
Horsey Two-Horse (Cocktail)

## The Horsey Two-Horse

Bittersweet cherry with the spice of dry ginger beer and a manly kick - a perfect beverage to honour the bittersweet memory of a good horse briefly owned by a spicy, manly and handsome man fond of kicking.

In a mixing glass with block ice, stir:

* 2 oz (60ml) bourbon
* 1oz (30ml) unsweetened cherry juice
* 4 oz (120ml) dry ginger beer
* 4 dashes Angostura bitters

Strain through a hawthorne into two rocks glasses and top up with cube ice. Garnish each with two cherries (Morello/Luxardo).

Drink both. This is not two drinks, it's one drink served for double fisting.

Now fly kick a door in a grief-fuelled rage.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CBU930Jh-e7/
Julian Fairbanks

Julian Fairbanks is a fabulously wealthy man and the designer and architect of Freeside, the Needle and the Haystack Casino. He was gambling incognito at the Haystack under the name "Ariell Billgates" when Philge interrupted him by attempting to seduce him and then accidentally eating 6 million credits worth of his gambling chips.

Julian had the Dragon Friends locked in a holding cell for the theft, but later went to visit them there. Unknown to him they were in the process of escaping and he was shot with an Uzi by Bobby Pancakes, revealing his form to be only a "peripheral" for an unknown intelligence elsewhere. He did, however, give the Friends a Haywire Cube and a credstick granting access to Freeside, instructing them to deploy the Cube in Freeside's control room.

After deploying the Cube, Philge was able to access a secret sub-network within the Freeside matrix where an AI imprint of Julian informed them that Julian bore a deep resentment that he was not permitted to live in Freeside after building it, and had therefore planned to destroy it using the Haywire Cube. He saw giving the Friends the cube as opportunity to both realize his plan and to kill them.

The character's alias was not intended to be Ariel Billgates; Megryan described him as "a real Bill Gates" when pointing him out. This was shortly followed by the question "Is that his name!?", and this became Canon.
It Has Bean (Cocktail)

Mocktail mayhem! I'm particularly pleased with this one, because it gave me the opportunity to try out a Secret Ingredient I've heard about for a while but never was motivated to mess around with. It's weird - but works better than expected, kind of earthy and fragrant, with a gorgeous foam on top of the drink.

**It Has Bean...**

* 1 oz ruby red grapefruit juice
* 1 oz lemon juice
* 1 oz aquafaba (the liquid from a can of chick peas)
* A spoonful of pistachio simple syrup
* Several (well-washed) parsley leaves in the shaker, and one saved for a garnish
* Shake the living daylights out of the cocktail to get the foam on top - just imagine you are throttling a co-DM who keeps interrupting your carefully crafted recap with inanities.
* (OPTIONAL: If you like the look of this but are in the mood for something a little stronger - adding 1 oz of Untitled Goose Vodka to the mix should do the trick.)
Betsy

The barmaid at the Blood on the Vine tavern in Barovia. Betsy came to the cursed land seeking fame and fortune, as she "had the map upside down". Philge and Freezo come to the tavern to meet up with Bobby, and after he tells the two of the curse Betsy helps to fill in the details, saying that her brother Johannes was killed by the curse when he tried to leave the kingdom. When the church bell starts ringing and everyone leaves the tavern, Betsy encourages the Dragon Friends to come along to the church where everyone is gathering for protection again the giant wolves that have been sent by Strahd to terrorize the village.
I'm The 9 In This Relationship

Official art by Simon Greiner

## Description

The Dragon Friends return to the library at Ireena’s behest, to try to find a way to overcome Strahd von Zarovich. They find an ancient tome that clues them in to their need for a heirloom sword, but they also fight a terrifying Mimic.

## Synopsis

Recovering from their first encounter with Strahd von Zarovich, the Dragon Friends demand answers from Ireena Kolyana. She reveals that she has found a key that she believes will unlock the library. Ireena insults Baston, as she is still magically in love with Bobby Pancakes. Baston becomes very excited with the library ladders on wheels.

Our heroes find a book held open with chains in the castle library, titled the “Terrible and Lamentable History of the Noble House of Strahd.” Freezo casts detect magic and deduces that the book is embroiled in an ancient curse.

From the book, they learn Strahd's history. He was in love with his brother Sergei von Zarovich's young bride Patrina, and poisoned them both at their wedding. Now he cannot be harmed by weapon or spell, except by the Name Sword of Sergei von Zarovich, which has been missing since the wedding.

Shortly after the Dragon Friends find the book, the charm spell that Bobby Pancakes put on Ireena wears off, much to her horror. Ireena and Baston have a reconciliation after her recent cold shoulder, but Baston is less interested. The Dragon Friends then discover a chest, complete with the von Zarovich symbol. As Freezo opens the chest, it turns out that its not a chest, but a Mimic. Combat begins. Bobby feeds the mimic a crowbar, and Baston is flying by on a library ladder as he tries to stab it with his dagger. Ireena tries to curse it using her resting bitch face. Philge gets grappled by the mimic, but Freezo casts Burning Hands regardless. Philge just manages to free herself from the mimic before getting hurt. He also misses the mimic with a Witch Bolt and hits Bobby instead. They eventually defeat the mimic.

After the battle, Philge and everyone else gang up on Freezo and demand his spellbook as recompense.

## People

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Freezo
* Bobby Pancakes
* Baston

## Places

* Castle Ravenloft
* Castle Ravenloft Library

## Table Talk

* Very long discussion about how chains can be used to hold open a book, resulting of a confusion of theater of the mind

## Quotes

* "You have successfully fed [the mimic] a crowbar. Congratulations." - Dave Harmon
Kareena

**Kareena** is a sorceress who lives in a small hut in the woods. Philge, Baston, and an injured Freezo come upon her hut while lost. Despite their intrusion into her home and Freezo's negging, she offers to escort them to the gypsy village to get help from Madame Eva. She guides them through the woods, but is eventually revealed to be a minion of Strahd.

She tells the Dragon friends that she is both paleo and vegan, and that she and Madame Eva went to university together.

Kareena is a normal human woman and definitely not afraid of sunlight, nor does she possess any other vampire qualities because she is a perfectly normal human and definitely not a vampire.
Lady Casilda

**Lady Casilda** is the captain of the passenger ship *The Saturnine,* and the planeswalker of Carcosa. She is the second most significant NPC planeswalker in Season 4 (with the first being Hyperion Max, of course) and occasional antagonist throughout the series.

The Carcosa Shard which allows Lady Casilda's ship to travel between planes requires the sacrifice of living individuals to operate; Casilda herself has therefore become cruel and detached in spite of her graceful demeanor. She is capable of sacrificing innocents, brainwashing her own crew, and using undead servants as weapons. She also has strong sexual desires, having had sex with both Bobby Pancakes and Bobson Dugnutt (the latter of whom she named her "chief consort").

Her ship, the Saturnine, is decorated in a distinctive Steampunk style and she enforces three ranks of crewmen on the ship: the **Favored** who are her personal servants, the **Bellows Men** who operate the Shard, and the **Gillmen** who are the low-ranked menial servants. The Friends were forced to intervene on the Saturnine to prevent Bonathon Kndd being sacrificed to the Carcosa Shard; they prevented this, resulting in the destruction of the Saturnine as the Shard failed, while Lady Casilda apparently escaped any punishment due to her position on the Planeswalker council.

Lady Casilda takes her revenge on the Friends by later coming aboard their ship, the Heart of Glass, while the Friends are in Freezo's tower. She has the crew brainwashed, the craft redecorated, and begins forming a hierarchy of Favored; she also intercepts the zombie of Bobby Pancakes who was created by Titania, to use as a weapon against the Friends. In a confrontation on the bridge of the Heart of Glass over the phylactery that controls Bobby, Casilda is thrown to the floor and Philge brutally stomps on her neck, killing her instantly.

## Origin

Lady Casilda appears to be based on the character Cassilda from the play *The King In Yellow* which is the most common fictional reference for Carcosa. The poem describing Carcosa which is used in multiple Cthulhu Mythos games and references is introduced as *Cassilda's Song:*

Where flap the tatters of the King,
Must die unheard in
Dim Carcosa.

Very little information about Cassilda is actually given in the book, other than that she appears to be a Queen.

## Trivia

* It's suggested in later talk sessions that Dave had not originally intended Lady Casilda to be killed at the end of Season 4.
Enya

Enya is a member of the Artificer's Guild and former possessor of an amulet with the power to control Glittermen. The Dragon Friends are sent to her workshop to steal this amulet, but she notices and attacks them, and is killed in the ensuing melee.

## Behind The Scenes

This character's name was actually supposed to be something more like "Ender", but a misunderstanding led to her being named after an Irish New Age singer and a lot of silly "sail away" jokes.
Bucky Bingo

This content falls outside Dragon Friends canon.

Bucky Bingo is a nine-year-old human orphan played by Nick Mason in the noir-themed, non-canon Melbourne Special. He dresses in rags with a filthy cap and a feather broken in two places.

Bucky is remarkably chipper despite extreme poverty. He dreams of joining the Dragon Friends, who for their part barely tolerate his presence. Baston forces Bucky to carry his parasol.

Bucky is sent into death saving throws on three separate occasions: first when he is thrown down some stairs by magical energy, then when Gooch Miselthwaite body-swapped into Philge's body and snapped his neck, and again when he tries to garrote Gooch misses and sets himself to fire. Philge extinguishes the fire but it's too late, and he dies.
Ireena Kolyana

Ireena is the betrothed of Baston Indrirovich and adopted daughter of Father O'Donovich. A resident of Barovia, she was kidnapped by Strahd Von Zarovich because she looks like Patrina, his brother's wife, with whom Strahd was in love and obsessed with.

Her signature scent is Lenach 5 Number. She is not a fighter, and called the Dragon Friends the "worst rescuers ever." She is not inclined to explore or do much for herself.

She has a very hot and cold relationship with Baston. He has referred to her as "a 6," but she has done the same to him. When the Dragon Friends first encountered her, Bobby Pancakes cast the Charm spell on her, thinking it would help Baston, but instead made her love him. When the spell ended, she was again interested in Baston, but through the rest of Season 2 her interest in him waxed and waned.

After Ireena was (again) kidnapped by Strahd, she was put to sleep by the vampire's spell. At the end of 6,000 Uncontrollable Buttholes, when Castle Ravenloft was being torn asunder by the portal which pulled the Dragon Friends into another world, the sleeping Ireena was also taken away. It's possible she ended up in the same place, but her exact whereabouts are unknown.

Due to the Dragon Friends' screwing around with the timeline, there's a chance Ireena's fate has been undone, as well as her encounter(s) with Strahd never having taken place.

### Tomb of Annihilation

Despite their relationship most likely over, Baston still seems hung up about Ireena. Whilst in Dungrungrung, he vents about losing his girlfriend to the vortex spawned by throwing a bedpost at Strahd. Later, whilst questioned by Yuan-Ti in their temple, Baston lies that he's in Chult looking for his girlfriend, to which Philge replies: "*You're not going to be able to open your heart to new opportunity if you keep thinking of her as your shed!*"

### Appearances

Played by Zoe Norton-Lodge:

* But I'm Riding a She-Orc (2.11)
* I'm The 9 In This Relationship (2.12)
* The Vampire Named Strahd Too! (2.13)
* Worst Rescuers Ever (2.14)

Present, but asleep:

* I'm Just Gonna Punch Someone (2.15)
* 6,000 Uncontrollable Buttholes (2.16)
A Helmet Full of Goo

## Description

*The Beef Babes drive through an infernal sandstorm and live to make early 2000s-era Darude jokes about it. Freezo makes an inadvisable deal with a spooky face he meets in the sky.*

*(Fun fact this episode started with 16 minutes of total mic failure and impromptu charades so the energy at the top is weeeeeeeird.)*

## Key events

* Bethanee decides she wants to take an Oath of Vengeance to kill everybody in Elysium (in the name of Pelor).
* The party, together with the two kenku (Chacka and Klonk), make their way towards Fort Knucklebone on devilish motorbikes.
* Caught in an infernal sandstorm, the party are soon chased by wasps. The party is separated and they lose sight of the two kenku. One of the motorbikes suffers heavy damage.
* Bushu loses Freezo in the sandstorm. Meanwhile, Bethanee discovers that, due to breaking her previous oath, Steve the goat has transformed in a black steed. She decides to name in Firefloofs.
* Freezo wakes in a delirious but lucid state on the coast of a sea of ash. He signs a contract with an archdevil (*forgot the name, sorry*), hoping to solve his bloodstrife. Instead, it cures him from his poisoning.

## People

### Beef Babes

* Freezo
* Bethanee Smiles
* Kit Gingerson
* Bushu

### Non-Player Characters (NPC's)

* Chucka and Clonk, two Kenku's sounding like Australian magpies
* Steve / Firefloofs (Bethanee's summon)

## Themes, tropes and running jokes

* Dave retcons the wee sun, stating it was a sickly reflection of the river Styx. Now the party has another question: is the *river* made out of wee? (the answer: technically, it being the refuse of dead, fallen souls...)
* Hing is still convinced that elves don't need to eat, which is why Freezo hasn't taken a shit over the last twelve years.
* When the archdevil approaches Freezo, he catches him trying to shit into the sea of ash, just to prove that he can't shit.

## Trivia

* Due to the effects of breaking an oath, Bethanee's personal summon, Steve, is no longer a mountain goat but a black steed - a more appropriate fit to Avernus. It expected to be called something really cool, but Bethanee decides to name it Firefloofs, much to its chagrin. It decides to take on a strong man bravado to tick Bethanee off.

## Quotes

* "Nictitating membrane." - "Please stop saying that."

## Table Talk

* A lot of talk about nictitating membranes in lizards and birds and how Bushu has one or two.
Big Mistake, Huge Mistake

Official art by Simon Greiner

## Description

The Dragon Friends are sent to infiltrate the shadowy cult running Waterdeep, but first they are going to need a disguise.

## Synopsis

In the absence of Janos Meer's cleric, Clodric, Bobby and Philge bring Janos to the Temple of Mystra for healing and meet up with Freezo again. Before Janos is taken away he offers Bobby some information. He knows of a Grand Inquisitor who could help clear the Dragon Friends' name for the murder of the Duke of Daggerford. He tells them about a secret cult meeting, before passing out. Freezo loots his body, finding, among other things, a sentimental tin whistle, and the Dragon Friends leave.

They go to get more information from Janos' quartermaster, and there they find Gribbits again, who gives them a Whisperer. Gribbits, desperate not to have to go with the Dragon Friends, chains himself to a desk, which Philge picks up, and ties to her chest.

They return to General Pantaloons to try to purchase official robes of the House of the Artificers. The shopkeeper only has fake robes for sale, but he shows them his father's personal real robe, which Philge manages to logic him into giving her for free. The robe is a single robe of humanoid size, so they go back into the store to buy more fake robes for the rest of them. The shopkeeper's father has returned. Dilge casts Friends and tries to talk his way out of the situation, and fails. Freezo casts Witch Bolt on the shopkeeper's father, Clive Who, and kills him. They tie the shopkeeper up, knock him out, and rob the store.

## People

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Freezo
* Bobby Pancakes

### Non-Player Characters

* Dilge
* Hans
* Janos Meer
* Clive Who
* Shopkeeper (son of Clive Who)

### Organizations

* House of the Artificers
* Tailors', Glovers', and Mercers' Guild

## Places

* General Pantaloons
* Temple of Mystra

## Themes, tropes and running jokes

* Death By Witch Bolt - Clive Who
* Philge Straps It To Her Chest - Gribbits, already strapped to a table
* Janos Meer apologizes to Bobby for always calling him names, but then immediately coins a few more:
	+ Bobby Shit-Dicks
	+ Bobby Shit-Lies
	+ Bobby Handshakes

## Quotes

* "Me also believe that product for sale, is this right brother? must be at marked price of what is displayed (me brother work magic shop) and if there was zero price on box, it mean robe cost zero dollar." -Philge
Arcana Check (Cocktail)

The Arcana Check:

* 2 oz Old And Expensive Armagnac You Found In Your In-Laws Cupboard And Were Horrified To Learn Had Been Almost Entirely Used For Cooking (...but in a pinch, Cognac will do)
* A few dashes Hibiscus-Oak Bitters (or whatever bitters you have on hand and feel inspired to deploy)
* Dash Grand Marnier [UPDATE from a second take: using Aperol instead better balances the sweetness and tartness]
* Dash lemon juice
* Muddle a raspberry and a blackberry in the shaker
* Stir well with ice and strain
* Top with sparkling wine
* Consume while insisting it will let you accomplish more than it actually will
Kir Sabal (Cocktail)

For a funky take on the classic: you've heard of the Kir Royale, now try the Kir Sabal, a cocktail fit for fueling unnecessary fly-kicks and cultivating beauty without and within...

**The Kir Sabal**

* -5 oz dry rosé
* -3/4 oz crème de cassis
* -3/4 oz grand marnier
* -Top with seltzer and garnish with as flamboyant an orange slice as you can muster. This is the Way (of the Eleven).
A Very Thrummy World

## Description

The future of the Empire of High Netheril rests on The Dragon Friends, but their help comes with a price: A tour of the Free folk down beneath the floating city. How could The Dragon Friends possibly make such a routine flight eventful?

## Synopsis

This episode entry is in need of a synopsis. Please consider taking a few minutes to add one.

## Cast

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Bobby Pancakes
* Baston
* Freezo
* Lionshield Banknote (unconscious)

### NPCs

* Karsus the Kind
* Arcanist Merreline Vowell
* Skymaster Chiron

### Places

* The Spire of Netheril
* The sky ship *Rapture*
Beanie Davis

A gun Freezo was given by the New York Police sergeant in Am I Doing... Good?. Shoots non-lethal "bean bugs" which incapacitate the target and then call for backup. (It was supposed to shoot beanbags, but Dave mispronounced the word and was hit with Canon.)

Named by Alex Lee after Freezo's other gun, Benny Davis (Weapon).
Benny Davis

Benny Davis is a musician and comedian, best known as one third of comedy trio The Axis of Awesome. With them he has performed live all over the planet and also on the internet. He is a composer, music producer and musical improviser, and does those last ones there for this podcast here.

He is not to be confused with Beanie Davis, Freezo's bean bag gun from Season 3.

##### Could also be referring to

Benny Davis (Fictional Character)

Benny Davis (Weapon)
Freezo (Horse)

Philge's horse at the beginning of Season 2 is named Freezo. Philge rides Freezo into Barovia when she is summoned there by Bobby Pancakes and is their only pack animal to survive the onslaught of the wolves their first night there. Philge is forced to abandon (or forgets about) Freezo in their hasty escape from the village, escaping instead on Baston's beloved Horsey Two-Horse.
Goblin Sidekick (Cocktail)

**The Goblin Sidekick**

* 2 oz tequila
* 1 oz Midori
* 1 oz lime juice
* Several dashes of fruity bitters (orange/fig, here - and, think whatever you want about me and this stupid cocktail project, but don't you dare think that the selection of these "Sycophant" bitters wasn't completely intentional)
* Shake over ice, along with a few mint leaves in the shaker, and strain
* Top with ginger beer, garnish with a mint leaf, enjoy while scrupulously avoiding thinking about any visual resemblance of your cocktail to a jar of artisanal wee
Ben Jenkins

This article needs a bit more detail. If you're familiar with the topic, please consider expanding it.

## Ben Jenkins

### Seasons

1, 2, 3,4, 5 Specials, Tomb of Annihilation

### Twitter

Link

Ben Leroy Jenkins is a writer, comedian and TV presenter. He spends a lot of time on Twitter, created the Chuck Norris meme, Invented the Untitled Goose Game, pissed himself in The Parisian Catacombs and once annoyed Richard Dawkins.

He is also on the podcast Free To A Good Home with Michael Hing.

Ben assists Dave with DMing duties and (along with Edan Lacey) provides voices for many of the NPCs encountered by the Dragon Friends. Ben also contributes by editing the podcast and creating the Dragon Friends website.

Despite Ben's role as NPC voice artist being part of the original concept of the podcast, he is known as "The Man of Three Voices". This is not entirely accurate as he has slightly expanded his repertoire over the course of the podcast. His voices include:

* Obscene Ocker
* Posh English
* Problematic South African
* Problematic French
* Inconsistent Cockney
* Kenneth Branagh in Wild Wild West
* A Russian accent that offends his wife
* Extremely distressing noises
* Various Hanna Barbera characters (although there is some controversy about whether these count as separate voices)

It must be noted, however, that whenever a new voice appears, it is immediately dismissed as shit by the other Dragon Friends and the fans.

Ben sadly died in 2019 after pissing himself to death it was revealed during a twitch stream , but happily briefly he returned to life and learned an important lesson about the moon. He is the leading astrotheorist on the "Down Space" theory.

Ben Jenkins has a well reviewed Newsletter that everyone should subscribe to here.The latest issue contained a list of sheep ranked in order of Ben's displeasure.

Ben is a keen Wikipedia vandal and therefore strongly encourages vandalism of this page.

Ben has attempted to be an international footpath chalk vandal but always feels he is in the shadow of Banksy's wall art.