Siren Song

The Acquaintances With Weapons stop in Batsbluff on the way to Thay and reunite with Dinah to appease Artus Cimber's spirit.

## Major Plot Points

* Voloth, Olivia, Dani, Bigsby, Stzu San, Braga, Wet Dick, and Clit continued their battle against Pansy and his mage. Voloth unleashed his poison dragon breath, damaging Pansy and the mage. Clit blighted the dragon monstrosity. Braga shot arrows at him. Stzu San threw her edged weapons. Bigsby launched a moon beam and destroyed the false hero of Faerun.
* Braga decorated herself with his blood, discovering four capsules of dragon’s blood. She gave these to Vulveeta, Voloth, Bigsby, and Olivia.
* The Acquaintances With Weapons and the Best Friends Caravan went to meet with Lady Silverhand, regent of Waterdeep, to discuss Pansy’s death. Bigsby and Stzu San played an instrumental song as their testimony. Braga simply said Pansy was dead and she was avenged. Wet Dick properly explained what happened. Sir Isteval arrived and corroborated their story, admitting he lied about Pansy’s alleged heroism. He stepped down as Lord of Daggerford and has committed to running Pansington’s Panties so that all children in need can have panties. He gifted the party with sour grape flavored edible panties and a leather thong to Vulveeta, which was garlic bread scented.
* Lady Silverhand professed that now and forevermore Braga will be known as the slayer of Tiamat and that the Best Friends Caravan are the true Heroes of Faerun
* Later that night, the pinky ring Braga stole from Isteval lit up with magic. It constricted around her pinky. The souls of all dead Pansingtons reside in the ring and Pansy’s soul is now bound to it. She awoke hearing them say, “Welcome to the family.” They then sang their ancestral fight song.
* Wet Dick and Salty Twat captained the Blowhole through a series of river systems to make it to central Faerun a month later, docking in Batsbluff.
* At the Bards and Noble’s, Bigsby bought Devil Dice and the Good Boy Collar. Due to a mislabeling, Olivia bought the Ring of Feet when she thought she purchased the Ring of Fate. After leaving, the party saw a cloaked figure pointing at them with a skeletal hand. When they went to approach, crows flew by and it disappeared.
* At Target Practice, Olivia bought the Chain of Command. The same cloaked figure awaited the party outside this establishment. It pointed its finger and then disappeared.
* As our heroes walked down the street, they heard a sonic scream and a tavern wall burst open. Dinah, formerly known as Black Siren, was interrogating a criminal grunt about the whereabouts of her friends, Helena and Barbara, and her boyfriend, Jaiden.
* Dinah explained to the group that she and Helena and Barbara established themselves in Batsbluff as the Dragons of Prey. They’ve dedicated their lives to fighting the city’s corruption. She assumed one of the nobles or crime lords they busted took her friends and boyfriend. Her only lead is a cloaked figure stalking her but no criminal knows anything about it.
* The party went back to the Dragon’s of Prey’s clocktower penthouse to investigate the crime scene. Bigsby found evidence the trio were dragged out and discovered a mysterious liquid. He suffered 10 necrotic damage after consuming it. Voloth IDed the substance as ectoplasm.
* Thanks to Barbara’s library, Voloth found a book about hauntings with rituals that can connect the living to their poltergeists. This ritual confirmed that Artus Cimber returned as a revenant to seek revenge against them for losing his hand, the Ring of Winter, and his life. He saw Artus torturing the Dragons of Prey.
* The group decided to try to find his Mezroan wife in the Astral Plane in hopes that reuniting them would end the haunting and return Dinah’s loved ones.
* Calypso used one of Barbara’s spellbooks to send Dinah, Voloth, Olivia, Dani, Bigsby, Stzu San, Braga, and Wet Dick into the Astral Plane. The sea sorceress warned them that they’ll be stuck there if the silver cord attached to their souls is severed.
* The party discovered the village of Nova inside the Astral Plane. This was a community of lost souls who had their silver cords severed by Githyanki pirates who serve their Mind Flayer overlords.
* It was then that a flying Githyanki pirate ship attacked. Wet Dick shocked the ground around them, making them collapse. Olivia restrained one with her hair whip. Dinah used her sonic scream to shout one down. Stzu San tore one from zipper to lipper. Bigsby put the Good Boy Collar on Malcolm to show him the light. Dani used her Arcane Lock spell to ensure it couldn’t be removed.
* Malcolm explained the Githyanki are interdimensional pirates. The Astral Plane connects all realms and dimensions in existence. His nomadic people raid and committ “sustainable murder” to gather treasures and artifacts. However, Mind Flayers have used their psychic abilities to takeover his tribe and force them to be their soldiers. He said that his people and the Mind Flayers took over New Mezro in the Shrouded Veil region.
* Malcolm taught Wet Dick and Salty Twat how to captain the Astral ships and they ventured off to the Shrouded Veils. He also hooked up with Bigsby.
* Along the way, they spotted the unconscious body of a 50-foot tall woman. Wet Dick’s examination confirmed she was dead. Dani telekinetically removed the large knife from her back, which allowed Olivia to heal her. Awakened, she introduced herself as Mystra, goddess of magic. She was murdered by her brother, the god of deception and strife. Many worship her as the mother of magic and the source of all magic in the realm. This is especially true for sorcerers.
* Mystra presented the heroes a boon for their assistance:
	+ Voloth took the Thoughts and Prayers brass knuckles
	+ Salty Twat took Mystra’s Monocle, giving her +1 to her intelligence score
	+ Bigsby accepted the Ring of Finger Guns
	+ Dani now wields the Wand of Dispel
	+ Wet Dick owns the Mispell Book
	+ Olivia was given the Blazing Longbow
	+ Stzu San has the Britney Spear
	+ The group saved the Grenade of Many Things for Vulveeta and the bottled lightning for Calypso
* As they continued their journey, the party spotted a ship identical to theirs but had the flag of the Associates in Arms. The crew of the other ship turned out to be AWW’s doppelgangers from a genderbent universe.
	+ Valeth (Female Voloth)
	+ Testicules (Male Vulveeta)
	+ Oliver Fignewton John (Male Olivia)
	+ Daniel Dorito (Male Dani Dorito)
	+ Muriel (Female Neuriel)
	+ Teensy Bigwoman (Female Bigsby)
	+ Atilla the Man Bun (Male Stzu San)
	+ Cocktapus Cockhart (Male Calypso)
	+ Francais/Wet Fanny (Female Wet Dick)
	+ Salty Balls (Male Salty Twat)
	+ Dino (Male Dinah)
	+ Marcial (Female Malcolm)
* Voloth beat Valeth in an armwrestling competition, Daniel and Dani Dorito fucked and got Dani pregnant, Wet Fanny bragged to Wet Dick that a god gave her a spellbook with powerful spells like Wish and Nuclear Bomb, Salty Balls and Salty Twat rubbed against each other like cats.
* As they were about to land on New Mezro, another Githyanki ship launched into the air and attacked. Salty Twat and Stzu San manned the ballistas. Olivia struck at the enemy ship with her sun sword. Wet Dick rammed their boat against the enemy’s. Bigsby used shatter on the opposing captain’s wheel. Dani disintegrated a great deal of the vessel. Voloth sniped with his Eldritch blasts. Dinah’s sonic scream sent it hurtling out of the sky.
* Wet Dick made a very uneasy landing into New Mezro’s town square. Luckily, the city appeared to be empty. The party then found citizens hiding in the city’s sewers. The lead pipes protected them from the Mind Flayers. They said they came and killed many of their people and enslaved the rest to build their squid-like temple. Vardina, Artus’ wife, was one of those conscripted to build the temple.