Episode 37: We Can Be Heroes

**Episode 37: We Can Be Heroes** (1x37) - The Nearlies missed their first shot at being heroes. Destiny has come around again and here’s another chance. Unfortunately this second chance comes with a suicide mission attached. A swarm of fey knights, Carver the Cruel, General Hacket Bloody Branches, a cabal of blood drinking fairies casting a wicked curse and the terrifying black Iron Fomorian, stand between them and rescue of the survivors of Thistleberry and the thwarting of whatever evil spell the fairies seek to cast. The rescue mission involves unreliable pirates, a ton of pixie dust, a ship in a bottle, and conjuring blood rain… it’s going to be a wild ride to the finish! Nobody said second chances were easy!

## Cast

### Nearlies

Josh | Xenator Brisbane
Kathy | Lavaleen Crest
Andy | Martin Sirque
Amanda | Gwendylyn Cloot
 Robbie | The Speaker
 Aaron |  Production & Sound

### NPCs

APPEARING
 Dodderfell
 Von Dark
 Nighgod

## Synopsis

### Prologue

Otax has just been informed that Thistleberry Hollow is not the only town under attack by the Fairies. All along the edge of the Grimmwood, hamlets and towns burn.  He is realizing that the timing of the attack may mean that the Heroes truly are gone.

He had been shadowing the Nearlies on their trip back to Thistleberry, ensuring their safety by picking off those who would attack them.  He was far too large to follow them through the well entrance, however, so he looped to the North Gate, observing the carnage that had already happened.  He was still trying to find a way in when he heard a Black Iron Fomorian.  He is shocked that they not only let him out, but also that they sent him to Thistleberry. He’s confused that, when they have attacks going the length of the border that they’ve sent so many of their Legends to a single small town.

Otax was still puzzling out their reasoning when he encountered the swamp of Kell Underthewater.  Kell is injured from her fight with Gamoletahgg.  She is bitter at how much the fight with the insane wizard took out of her.  Those that have no plans to walk away are so much harder to kill.  She also took a perverse pleasure in what she perceived to be the downfall of Lavaleen Crest.  No longer the Princess of the Feyfolk, but the Queen over mortal lands and the “whore” of King Demm.  She acknowledges that Lavaleen could have been a hero once, but now she carried the shadow of a curse.

She is still contemplating her next steps as the Stitchers are healing her up when the entire healing tent collapses around her. An entire tree is swinging at her. She manages to avoid the tree but an axe is already swinging at her.  The Kelpie tackles into the attacker, changing the axes’ trajectory. The axe bites into her side instead of cleaving her cleanly in half.  The Kelpie and the attacker are tearing into each other as Kell embraces the violence around her.

### Episode

Martin is plummeting towards the deck of the ship in a bottle, having shrunk himself down to get sucked into the bottle.  With Valeriana’s assistance, who is holding the bottle, Martin manages to land without breaking the float stone and goes to find a place to install it.

With Martin doing that the rest of the Nearlies follow John Phlegm through the town until they get to a place with a vantage point of the Town Square.  Phlegm, a pirate, immediately suggests that they leave the townsfolk to their fate and escape while they have the chance.  This is just as immediately rejected by the Nearlies.  As they are watching they see Commander Hacket given the message to meet at the pickle stand.  Hacket leaves, putting Lt. Carver the Cruel in charge.

As the last of the villagers are being marked with blood sigils, Gwendylyn prepares to cast the Sky Brew Spell that she acquired from Molly Marrow.  The sky darkens and then the clouds start to rain blood.  The deluge of blood is able to heal the allied villagers while still harming the fey knights.  The braver of the villagers realize that the blood has completely obstructed the blood sigils that had been placed on them and quickly rub them sigil away.  What also happens is that this blood drinking Fey goes berserk at the rain and begins to overindulge in the blood.

The attack begins and Lavaleen dive bombs at their leader, Lt. Carver.  The Black Iron Fomorian can be heard approaching, and Gwendylyn immediately attempts to taunt him away from the village square.  Martin, still trapped in the bottle begins to prep the cannons that are on the ship.

Lavaleen’s and Carver’s battle begins, and Carver gets in several stinging blows, demonstrating his namesake.  Both Xenator and Valeriana rush in to aid Lavaleen with this battle. While the Chemerites are attempting to find a good spot to release the ship, Vomit and Phlegm drop a smoke bomb and attempt to escape with the ship (and Martin) in the bottle.  Refusing to be kidnapped Martin grows another arm and simultaneously sets off three cannons.   The cannonballs breakthrough the glass, resorting everything to normal size. In a lucky coincidence the cannons were also aimed at the Fomorian’s midsection.

The Galleon ship was larger than anticipated, taking up much of the town square, but it is successfully floating and the townsfolk are desperately climbing aboard.  As the battle continues, there is a pulse in the sky.  Commander Hacket has returned and dispersed the blood rain clouds with a gesture, but the town square is already in chaos.  With the visibility back, Gwendylyn casts Ghostly Mists and makes copies of all the allies to aid in the chaos and confusion. 100 people turned into 200 and the Fey are now uncertain about who to attack.

Without individuals to attack, Hacket attempts to take over the Galleon ship instead.  The wood of the ship groans and he struggles to take control.  Before he can do so, the ground erupts and Izarizal’s Wizard Tree rises up, with Captain Von Dark at the window with a gun.  He fires a single round into Hacket’s head.  The shot was well aimed and although injured, Hacket removes the bullet from his eye and continues his command.  Dodderfell leaps into the fray and attacks the Fomorian in a titanic clash as the villagers continue to climb aboard the ship.  Hacket mistakenly thinks that Wolves who have just shown up are also attacking the villagers, but it is the She-wolf and pack, who consider Valeriana to be her daughter.

Xenator is determined to disrupt the Blood Curse that has been placed upon the villagers and sends a fireball to the Blood Crystal that is powering it.  It strikes true and every one of the villagers that had been connected to the curse have been set on fire. Bizarrely, this white hot flame does not seem to be injuring anyone and there are no cries of pain.  Until, that is, a villager touches one of the Fey Knights with the fire.  The Fey Knight immolates in flames.

The tide of the fight seems to finally be turning. Gwendylyn, remembering a fact about long haired trolls, sends lighting to Dodderfell’s horns, allowing him to channel that power through his horns and into the Fomorian.  The flash of light clears and both the Fomorian and the Blood Drinking Fairy are nowhere to be seen.

Hacket and Izarizal are in the midst of a final Wizard duel.  Spells fly fast and thick between the master spell casters.  Knowing they’re out of their depths, the Nearlies follow the townsfolk onto the boat in preparation of escape.  Outmatched, Hacket calls for a retreat.  The  Nearlies, now aboard, are trying to think of happy enough memories to allow the large and laden down ship to fly high enough to clear the tree line of the Grimmwood. They are feeling generally happy enough when a voice says in Martin’s head, “you know what would be really funny?” With herculean effort and a dash of self-preservation, Martin is able to prevent himself from causing the ship to crash in a fiery, spectacular fashion.

For the first time in a while, there appears to finally be a respite, allowing the Nearlies to discuss their next move.  A villager mentioned that he overheard that the Queen of Spite has been holding a damsel, She With Long Hair, in an area surrounded by briars. They are intending to trade the Damsel for the Glorious. With this new knowledge the Nearlies determine that they need to head to the heart of the Grimmwood and rescue the Damsal.  As they start to turn there is a thump, and Otax comes into view.  He opens his cloak and reveals the villagers’ children that the Nearlies had corralled in the forest.  He admits that he wasn’t able to Kell, but was able to kill her Kelpie. He then volunteers his summer home as a base of operations and safe place for the villagers.

While Martin captains the ship Xenator goes down into the hold to check on the floatstone.  He is greeted by a horrific sight.  There is blood all over the walls, and carved into the wall, is the phrase, “You know what would be really funny?”  Even as he reads these words the ship begins to plummet towards the earth.  “Brace yourselves!”

## Notables

Episode 28

 Objects Acquired

 Spells Used

Spiked Mutagen
Super-hot Mutagen
Verdant lightning
Green Thunder
Sorrowling
Ghostly Mists
Blood Curse of Fear
Low Fireball
 Metamorph Attempts

## External Links

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Website - Episode 36