Plot

Furries & Scalies & Bears, OH MY! follows the journey of Oz and Dorothy, two friends who have been teleported to a strange new world full of dateable anthropomorphic animal characters. Of course, there's all sorts of other stuff that happens, but that one sentence is enough to determine who will and will not play the game.

## Introduction

Oz is a shy, anxious human of indeterminate physical appearance or gender. Dorothy is Oz's lifelong friend, and the only person Oz is really comfortable around. While they walk together through the forest, they stumble upon what appears to be a large, inactive portal. After fumbling around with the portal a bit, Oz and Dorothy somehow end up falling through it, and are teleported to an alternate dimension. They land in a science-y lookin' room, and exit quickly once they realize that they're in a significantly warmer climate than where they first entered.

There, they meet Magellan. An anthropomorphic, talking fox-dragon hybrid. After being unable to answer Dorothy's questions like the idiot toddler that he is, he leads the pair of them to his father, David. A regular human. David is found with the two scientists, Wren and Bixby, who operate in the lab they exited the portal from, and Zauer, the mayor of the town they now find themselves in. That town is Kale Bay, and it's full of anthropomorphic animal characters to meet.

Dorothy begins to break down, while Oz is understandably unfazed after his integration into the real-world furry fandom.

Once led back to the hotel that they will be staying in, David explains a bit of what has happened to the two of them. They were teleported to Kale Bay by a portal they found in the woods. Oz decides that it would be best to make friends with the residents of the town while they stay there, to keep the two of them occupied while they wait for the portal to open back up.

## Convolution

Wren and Bixby run MRI scans on both Dorothy and Oz, which reveals that Dorothy is a regular human, and Oz is a "homo sona", which is basically a person who exhibits the properties of the anthropomorphic animal characters, and has "compatible anatomy". I... uhh... Okay, so like... I wanna make a joke about this, but I've got nothing. The joke writes itself. They're called *"homo sonas"*. I can't believe this...

Unrelated, Magellan seems to be perceiving a character he refers to as "Bandersnack". While David dismisses this as childish fears of the dark, Oz later "hijacks" one of Wren's dreams to find that they also perceive Bandersnack. This dream hijacking isn't ever brought up again or explained, and this incident is ultimately forgotten by Oz as soon as they wake up. Either they have forgotten the dream, or they don't care.

ADDITIONALLY, a character named Bowie, a cow, has been hired by Zauer (the mayor, in case you've forgotten) to assassinate a feral animal that has been sighted by the townsfolk. These sightings have caused some alarm, but ultimately, the creature has caused no harm. Bowie ventures to the graveyard, where Tennison, a green dragon, and Aurence, an otter, live. He states that he has no feelings towards people, and generally tries to avoid them, but Tennison is insistent in her newfound personal quest to get him to open up and make new friends.

## Total Derailing of the Plot

Oz now has the opportunity to date and mate with the anthropomorphic animal characters. They find out, with Dorothy, that the portal may be able to open up in about a year, and that they have that much time to continue making friends. You, the player, gets to decide if Oz makes any friends, so you can do whatever you want, really. As long as you talk to a character. Problems begin to arise, however, when Oz finds out that their anatomy, as a homo sona, is unstable, and their limbs begin to shift into animal parts. Bixby seems to suggest that this could be a problem, but no actual issues with this unstable anatomy actually occurs during the events of the game. Ultimately, it's irrelevant.

Bowie finds a shrine to elder gods underneath the graveyard about half a mile. Tennison is intrigued, but feels worried, and Aurence runs away quickly. It's revealed that Aurence is a "wereotter" who shapeshifts into a werewolf-esque form at will. The uncovering of the shrine seems to have revoked Aurence's ability to change at will, and he's now stuck in werewolf form. Bowie freaks out, decides he wants to kill Aurence or something, and explains that he has some werewolf daddy issues. Oz explains that Aurence can be whoever he wants to be, comparing his situation to actual, real-world gender transition. Bowie makes up with Aurence with Tennison's help. Following this, Wren tries to use rocket fuel to blow up the shrine and remove it's influence on Aurence. This doesn't work, but somehow Aurence regains his ability to control it by the end of the game anyways.

Near the end of the game, Bandersnack makes his second appearance in the entire game. He tries to kidnap Oz to steal his body to escape the dimension he's trapped in. Turns out, Bandersnack is very real, and he's a god who has been trapped in Kale Bay due to the shrine. Andrew Clarkhammer, a character who has a bit more of a presence than I made seem here, runs in and tries to attack Bandersnack. Bandersnack backhands him to death. Literally God shows up, disguised as David's dead wife who died in a fire, and sends Bandersnack to hell instantly. After being told by God herself that magic exists, Wren the scientist falls into a depression at the realization that none of her life's work really matters all that much anymore. Bummer. Bixby is catholic and remains unaffected.

Andrew Clarkhammer's ghost appears. He's downtrodden, and doesn't respond to any stimulus. He's dead forever. Just kidding, he's brought back either with science, friendship, or *love~*. After a long credits cutscene with all of the characters that you probably didn't bother to talk to, the player is given the choice to return to Earth or stay in Kale Bay forever. If you decide to leave Kale Bay, you can take your significant other back with you.

## Epilogue

Imagine, though, you decide to stay in Kale Bay. Imagine how Dorothy would feel, returning through the portal alone, and having to explain to Oz's parents that they decided to stay in Kale Bay. Dorothy has to explain that Oz is now in Furry World forever with their daddy dragon boyfriend, and that they decided to completely abandon their life on Earth.

I can't freakin' get over it. Sorry, Dorothy.

God. I'm so tired of writing this. But now I'm done. SUAVE TWINK *OUT!!!*