Ascetic's Memory

### Introduction

**Aponia:** Codename "Discipline". She is the third of The Thirteen Flame-Chasers.

A savior to some. A monster to others. She sees the strings of fate but can only be wound in them. There is no way to resist destiny—or so she thought.

Here are Aponia's Recollections.

### 1 - Return to Dust

"...I don't get it."

"The MOTHs entrusted it with you; they must have their reasons. No matter what happens, Hua, you are the only one who has the 8th Divine Key. Take it. Vill-V has to finish everything sooner or later. Until then, it won't lose any power—unless, I guess, it's completely used up—thanks to my reprimand."

"Reprimand? But it's not..."

"Mhm... it's just wishful thinking."

"You'll understand everything when the time comes."

"..."

"Aponia, forgive me for speaking out, but... why? Today's the first time we've ever talked like this."

"Really... what if I told you that I knew about this encounter ages ago? I've been waiting for this... waiting this whole time."

"You... you want to change my destiny—just like everyone else."

"Yes."

"MY fate." Surprisingly, her tone shifted and became harsh, as though she had remembered something.

"I know that you hate this way of talking about it... so I'll give you a chance to change."

"This was never in Vill-V's plan, but... I still awakened this Herrscher's true power, and changed it from a tool to a weapon in your hands. There's a name that I hate... 'First-Rate Power'."

"...Huh?"

"It's just... using it comes at such a high cost. I'll give you a small demonstration before you go."

"Don't worry about me. I never wanted to remember everything we discussed today."

"Please forgive my selfishness here, but I don't care to remember trying to save people again..."

"...how useless..."

### 2 - The Ordained

The masked man was dropping corpse after corpse right at her feet.

53... 54... that was it.

"They were all present when RIN died."

"—They all have the same discipline. Tell me, what actually happened?"

"What if... you get no answer?"

He pointed to the ground. "You'll be next."

"You should know... I've never feared death. And anyway... who says you could? But if you insist on me paying a price for this, I won't refuse. The discipline I gave them was simple... 'Never give up hope against Honkai'. I don't know why this would make them hate Herrschers... they're unhinged."

He laughed coldly.

"It's just like everything you do."

"..."

"Kalpas, just because I know about everything doesn't mean I can control it. I... make mistakes, too. Same for the discipline I gave you. 'Never harm innocents'... you've never let that get in the way of your indiscriminate murder."

"Fool... Just look at yourself. Look at this world... nobody can say they are 'innocent', Aponia."

"But at least you got one thing right... even if it was unintentional, you'll pay the price for SAKURA's death."

"I'm going to kill you. Right here, right now."

"But I'll make it 'fair'. I'll accept the discipline again for 'never harming innocents'..."

"And then you can answer me... with your life."

### 3 - Within the Cataract

"... Griseo, right? That's a nice name! What are you doing staying around here?"

"..."

"It must be terrifying being abandoned in a place like this, right...? Don't be afraid. Come here."

"..."

"Ah, what a shy kid... you must be hungry. Want a snack?"

"..."

"That's it. Good kid, take your time, nice and easy... here, give me your hand..."

The soft, gentle voice of a woman floated through the air, calming everyone down as if by some kind of magic. There would be no need for a candle with her around, as she illuminates the space between herself and the little girl.

Beyond that, there is only darkness and the abyss.

Countless shadowy figures danced around the edges of the inky darkness, exuding a terrifying aura of despair—perhaps the original archetypes of despair itself. But just then, they looked on at these encircled two with trepidation, as though they weren't merely the single glimmer of light in the deepest darkness but rather something more terrifying than darkness, death, and fear itself.

She gently wiped the cream off the girl's face and hands.

"It's definitely... crowded here. Let's go someplace quieter." She stepped out as she spoke, and the crowd retreated in silence like the tide.

Just then, an even smaller hand held onto her. The girl looked up and gazed upon her with pure innocence, her tender lips quivering as she uttered the first word since her exile.

"M-ma... mama."

### 4 - Survey Report: Discipline

A crumpled-up, old research report filled with notes scribbled in various handwriting.

**[Sample 1] ■■■■**
■■-years old. Member of Cocoon.

Symptoms: Severe bruising of varying degrees all over body.

Impact of Disciple: Vast improvement to all cell activity; complete recovery of all wounds within 3 months.

**[Sample 2] ■■■■**
■■-years old. Logistics staff**.**

Symptoms: Broken leg.

Impact of Disciple: Fast healing at break site over 1 week.

Note: Sample refused all surgery prior to disciple. Improved healing may be connected to this.

(Note:
In a cuter handwriting: "How cryptic. How badly was he treated at Mobius?"

In a more serious handwriting: "Unfortunately, he broke his other leg a day after recovering.")

**[Sample 3] ■■■■**
■■-years-old. Former Deep End convict.

Symptoms: Severe claustrophobia and nyctophobia.

Impact of Discipline: Gained night-vision abilities; can perform tasks in pitch darkness using hearing and touch.

**[Sample 4] ■■■■**
...

**Summary:** ~~Discipline can stimulate biological potential in subjects.~~

(This summary has been crossed out and someone writing with a more dignified hand has made a note below.)

The real power of discipline lies in impacts and catalysts that yield to the subconscious desires of the subject. Based on the Honkai Midoro's lack of similar results, the unforeseen exception found in Aponia requires further study; until then, Aponia's account of her own talents is unreliable.

"...Therefore, I'll go to the Deep End for discipline myself to verify my hypothesis."

This report was clutched in the hands of a young man, trembling with excitement.

"Why am I the only one not to get this report?"

"Silence, kid."

"Dr. MEI's always been like that. She knows what she wants—and how to get it."

"..."

"She's already gone off to the Deep End. All we can do now is wait. Wait and believe."

### 5 - The First Discipline

She still remembered that moment—back when she wasn't aware of her gift. As though a sudden revelation, an invisible hand pushed her forward, bringing her to feel the mark left by fate for all living things. Veins made of light, like silken thread. They leave completely different marks on different people's heads. Sometimes they intersect or weave together, dispersing and stretching out unto various ends; sometimes they stop abruptly at some point imperceptible.

Under this indescribable sense of restraint, she reached out her hand to touch these surrounding threads—

...

"Is this what you saw when you first used your discipline? Oh, how I would love to see the world from your eyes. It must be unforgettable, magnificent scene."

"I've never been shy about sharing things with you, Elysia, but it's not a pretty sight. I can't use my discipline on you, just like... I can't make your dreams come true. After that, I bestowed my discipline to many others, but nobody ever gained the ability to see the threads."

"Because you are truly special. I may not be able to see what you do, but I understand the feeling of being different from others. You don't have to feel alone."

"But what do these threads mean?"

"... I don't know."

"These threads hanging off everyone... I can see them, but I can't touch them—and I can't change their trajectory, not even an inch."

"Then... have you tried investigating where these threads ultimately lead to?"

"They break off."

"... Break off?"

"All threads break off at the edges of my vision... maybe that's the limit of my ability?"

"I see..." The girl tilted her head, and winked at her jokingly. "Then... do I have a thread coming out of my head? What does it look like, and where does it lead?"

But before she could answer, a slender index finger was gently placed on her lips.

"Forget about it. Don't you enjoy the suspense? I'll tell you next time we meet."

"Perhaps, then, I can tell you what these threads really are."

### 6 - From the Bitter Cold

"That's OK. Let me talk to him, alright?"

Without even waiting for an answer, she pushed open the door and walked in. Not even she understood when things became like this; where the absolute persuasiveness of her words came from. But when she gained consciousness, nobody has ever rejected her.

The man who never took his mask off say beside a fire he had built, as though he didn't know how to use modern technology. When the shelter staff first found him, his frostbite was bad enough to be lethal. But now, he'd almost recovered completely without any treatment.

"Did... you come here from someplace very cold?" She walked over to his side without any hesitation and reached her hand into the flames.

"I just met someone who's very, very cold." He spoke for the first time—and even she was surprised.

"Oh? So how is she now? Did she get frostbite like you?"

Seeming not to understand her words, he lowered his head, lost in thought.

"She's not alone anymore."

"Really... that's good." She obviously misunderstood something. "Then... do you have any other family?"

"I think so, but they're far away."

"Then... I hope they can find you soon."

He finally looked up at her. This woman was crazy!

"Just what are you trying to do?"

"I want to know if you need any help."

He nodded.

"Yes. Can you tell me... what people normally say when they want people they hate to go far away?"

"Um..."

"Perhaps... something like 'Please can you go away'."

"That's too long, I can't remember all that."

"I see... then... well, it's rude but people often say..."

"'Get lost'?"

It was the first time he'd ever heard this phrase.

He felt invigorated and rather... proud.

"OK... Get lost."

She laughed.

A gentle laugh, without a hint of malice.

### 7 - Rumors: Fright

"About Aponia? Just remember one thing: she's dangerous. Don't get mixed up with her. Otherwise... well, you saw how things ended up for those guys, right?"

"Ended up? How did things end up? They looked perfectly fine to me."

"Then you haven't realized the true horror of Aponia. Do you know what their mission was before they came here?"

"I remember they were looking after a meta-morphed kid, and I think she was called... Griseo?"

"More like 'guarding' than looking after. I dunno what they did to Griseo... but it sounds like big trouble if they had to seek Aponia's help. Trust me, it was a terrible decision."

"Why?"

"I don't know what exactly happened either, but the result... was chilling."

"I heard that every time they saw Griseo, they'd kneel down and beg for forgiveness—that's right, kneeling, begging, weeping... on and on, until Griseo motioned for them to get up."

"... How dramatic."

"It gets worse."

"Apparently, just after completing treatment for Griseo, she calmly asked them—softly, even—who it was that had done this to her."

"Of course they dared not say a word, but Aponia knew all along what was going on. Even so, she wasn't angry and would even smile—but her eyes gradually became bright red. Staring a them, she coldly said:" "'I'm afraid only the guilty guard the secrets like this.'"

"'Who knows if all these things you've done to her will give you nightmares... Can you even imagine what you'll do when vengeance is visited upon each of you?'"

"'O cowards, does revenge have to be exacted right before you... for you to tremble at your own hypocrisy?'"

"..."

"Isn't that shocking?"

"I am shocked by your interpretation. Are you sure she really said all that?"

"... Hang on. What's that you're holding? An Introduction to 1-Act Playwriting?"

### 8 - Before the Fall

"Is this what you meant by 'a little' side effect?"

An inky darkness diffused in the culture fluid, exuding a menacing air. This strange creature was not of this world, or perhaps... something demonic. For now, its eyes were tightly closed as though in hibernation. Which is why they were able to casually chat about the situation at hand.

"You know the answer to that, Aponia. You are the same as he is, you ought to know how this has happened."

That's right, the same.

Aponia still remembered what this average boy had looked before turning into a shadow. But then he was engulfed by the latent powers within him, causing him to become no different a monster than the Honkai he'd just slain. The only difference was that his body was still moving with each passing breath.

"He's still special, even by MANTIS standards... I'm grateful to him for that."

"Is he just a specimen to you?"

The green-haired girl did not answer and instead stared at the dial next to the transparent cabin as she silently jotted down notes.

"Don't look at me like that, Aponia. Our perception of him won't change his status quo. On the contrary, the only one who could possibly help him is me. So you don't need to discuss abstract things like good and evil with me... productivity is what matters most in this laboratory."

"... Can you reverse his mutations?"

"Of course, but there's an absolutely necessary precondition before I finish my work."

"Please... discipline him."

"... I see. But what if discipline can't save him?"

"Unfortunately were that to happen, I'd have no other solution, at least for now. The mutation will gradually eat away at his body and mind... making him less and less human. And he'll get worse with every Honkai devoured."

"What an incredibly bleak outcome."

"That's what I wanted to remind you of."

"Discipline can certainly help him take the first step. But, if he ultimately decides to return to the abyss, then discipline... will doom him forever."

"Ha... that's not a decision I can make. Once he lets go, it's hard to get him back to normal. He'll realize how easy it is to break free... as easy as taking a step forward."

"Before him... is only a cliff."

"Even if he steps back, would he be any better?"

"Curb his thirst for Honkai energy and let his sanity wither away, or lose all sense of self as he's devoured by the Honkai energy within..."

"What will he do? Let's wait and see."

### 9 - Awakening

"... Aponia, do you admit your guilt?"

"Even if it's all for not, I can't just sit here waiting to die," she thought to herself.

Instead, she said aloud: "I plead guilty."

"Are you trying to steal the memories of those who know about the MOTHs, as Vill-V says, without then filling the void left by the missing memories?"

"We've only reached this point through gaining knowledge we shouldn't have," she thought to herself.

Instead, she said aloud: "I plead guilty."

"Have you used your abilities to fabricate the thinking of an ordinary girl into another Elysia?"

"It was her own request, and we all could use more hope," she thought to herself.

Instead, she said aloud: "I plead guilty."

"Did you try to force the thoughts of 600 staff at this site into one single body; and have you caused nearly 40 incidents of vicious malice?"

"They were all so close to death, I just... wanted them to live," she thought.

Instead, she said aloud: "I plead guilty."

"Did you copy the personality of the 8th Herrscher?"

"I don't know what to do anymore," she thought.

Instead, she said aloud: "I plead guilty."

"..."

"Are you willing to accept your punishment for the aforementioned 410 crimes, Aponia?"

"If I wasn't, who else could," she thought.

Instead, she said aloud: "I plead guilty."

The judges began to whisper, and finally reached a consenting verdict. They decided to drop the gavel and execute her.

It was at this time that an unspeakable terror enshrouded them all, leaving them feeling... peculiar. Why is that woman standing high up in the light, while I sit down here shackled in the darkness?

"Thank you everyone, for sorting out my... failures on my behalf." She spoke the same as before, except a little more tired.

But she looked ashen, despairing, and lifeless. She tried almost everything, but she could see the Strings of Fate had not budged. Humanity... is still going to be annihilated.

"You also helped me realize I haven't done enough. I... want to continue on. I don't know if my actions are right or wrong, nor whether I will fail or succeed. All I can be sure of is that there is no human..."

"... who can stop me."

"That's enough."

She stood up and left.

The judges began to tremble, trying to remember... was it before this trial or some other time...

... that they thought they could pass ruling while locked within this prison?

### 10 - Kaiju

"... Did the MOTHs forgive you for what you did to Su then?"

A vast number of dormant cabins spread out before them like a subterranean sea of silver, reminiscent of the planet's origins. Back then, life was born out of the ocean.

"Oh! After all... this is our final hope."

"But it's incredible to discuss all of this with you. You're OK, right? How does it feel, to be unable to see destiny now...?"

"..."

"Confusing."

"I still have no idea how Elysia did this, but somehow she managed."

"... Oh, that's not important. Overall, it's for the best, right?"

"But Vill-V, is it Elysia denied destiny, or that I've been blinded... nobody seems to know."

"I... don't want to lie to myself. That's why I've come here."

"Here? I'm afraid you've got the wrong person. Aponia... this isn't where the future is predicted, but where it's created."

"It's nothing to do with this place, Vill-V. Even though the Elysian Realm now belongs to Mobius... it's machinery was still built by your hand."

Standing at the guardrail, the girl turned slightly and made a simple gesture.

"The idea I raised before... is my final request. I know that anything you create has some slack built into it."

"..."

"Aponia, this is suicide."

"I must have an answer, compared to this... life is trivial. Since the world can't give me what I need, then I can only..."

"Become a world unto myself."

**Irrelevant Files**:
**Chapter 1 -** Mission Report Kv10297 • St. Fountain Tour Guide • Golden Fountain • Fountain of Blood • From Sint Fontein to St. Fountain • Unsent Letter • A Flyer • A Resident's Diary • A Scrap of Paper • Duino Elegies