Danger Rangers! - Chapter One

> "*This is a wonderful land of accents. The trainer from the Bronx, the healer from Fargo, and then whatever the fuck you just did.*"
> ― Bosco
>
>

**Danger Rangers! - Chapter One: "Call in the Copse"** is the fifty ninth episode of Queens of Adventure. It is a flashback to the backstory of Irene Dubois. In the episode, two Glamazons celebrate their last night before beginning ranger training.

## Summary

Intro: *Richard Fitzwell begins a welcome address to tourists on Fire Island. He points out Slaggevue Temple, which will be converted to a new casino. He warns the tourists, eager to see a Glamazon, that they are only recently allowed to be guests on the western side of the island. No one is allowed to see them, and those that try are seen by the Glama Birds. Everything that happens there is a mystery.*

It is the night of the festival of the Twelve Great Houses in the city of Glamalala. The elite arrive at the Glamadrone. However, across the city, on top a gymnasium (adorned with a mural of a glamazon goliath in a feathery singlet), a small arena in a sandpit has been set up.

Two warriors wait to enter the arena. Irene Dubois, lizardfolk barbarian, enters first. She roller skates in, but stumbles into the jeering Junior Ranger Jort. On the other side comes Bosco, an elven fighter, who does a jump split to excite the crowd. The two exchange a secret handshake.

The gym leader announces this will be the final fight for both warriors before heading to Glamazon Ranger Training, and signals the fight to begin. Bosco draws her heirloom duct tape whip, and attacks Irene's wig, sending it flying. However, a long ponytail wig drops down from underneath. Irene swigs from a bottle of mouthwash before lunging to bite Bosco, but misses. Jort continues to mock. Bosco tries to do a backspring, but slips in the sand. Irene slams her arm down against Bosco's head.

Trying to win back the crowd, Bosco does a wig reveal, but it's not enough. She takes shame damage. Irene does her own reveal before attacking with her great axe. Bosco leaves the stage for a second for a quick costume change (as backup dancers step in for a moment) into a new, Cher-esque outfit. She whips out Irene's stiletto heel. As she drops, she throws a handful of sand at Bosco and attacks with her javelin, knocking Bosco out.

Irene gets up and does rollerskate twirls around as the crowd goes wild. A healer runs over and lays hands on Bosco, who flutters awake. After leaving the arena, the two head down to the steam room in the locker room. After relaxing, they change into their evening wear. The gym leader hands Irene's winnings. He tells them to be cautious enjoying it, before leaving to get home before curfew. After he leaves, the pair decide to go party.

They head out into the cliff side lower district, past the Glamworks Foundry and Glamweave Looms. The curfew bell rings. Bosco says they shouldn't go back yet. Convinced, Irene suggests stealing cloaks so they can hide from glamabirds (and have a sickening reveal). They enter the storefront of Glamweave Loom. As Irene distracts a clerk, Bosco snags a Dark Cloak and a glamaweave Cloak of Many Fashions.

They head to Snargle Farm, a moving club, tonight held in a stable. They're not quite stealthy enough, as the rude Junior Ranger Jort shows up. He begins to harangue them, believing they're unfit for the rangers. The friends fail several times to get away, and finally tries to bribe him. Two more Rangers show up: Richard and Jimenez. The queens plead to Richard to help them, claiming Jort is robbing them. The Junior Ranger claims they were breaking curfew. Richard offers to take them off Jort's hands. He happily accepts, and after he leaves, the Senior Rangers (who are carrying kegs), lead them to Snargle Farms.

Inside the stable, a tortle tends bar near a magical dance floor. From a booth Liz, a Butch Queen warrior of legend, calls them over upon hearing they're about to enter Ranger training. She sends the Rangers off to buy them a round, before asking the novices about themselves. Liz reminisces on when she joined the Butch Rangers, the Ravishers, three hundred years ago, before Lady Essence signed away part of the island to tourists. She offers the novices a hit of her supply of purple powder. Bosco feels a moment of euphoria which tapers off, but Irene's excitement level increases.

Deciding she wants to ride a Glama bird, Irene takes off. Bosco decides to follow and watch out for her. Irene stumbles, tearing up dance floor tiles. Bosco asks Richard for help, and he suggests slapping the focus into her. Bosco tries to grab Irene's tail, but she detaches it and takes off.

They find a copse of trees on the beach near the outer wall of the city. Irene tip toes towards one sleeping bird, and mounts it without waking it up. Bosco, feeling salty for having lost the fight, makes an airhorn noise. The bird awakens and looks at Irene. Its eyes change to prismatic, the sign its vision is shared by a Glamseer.

They see patrol members swooping towards them on gliders. The novices cover themselves with the Gloak of Many Fashions, making it look like a glama bird. The patrol looks at them, thinking the bird might be sickly, until Bosco rolls a glama egg out from under the cloak. Satisfied, the patrol leaves.

As the friends head back to the city, Irene vomits on herself. Passing by Snargle Farms, they find it had been raided, with party goers in bindings. They dont see anyone they known, but down a passage they see the tortle bartender escaping.

In the upper city, Jort arrives home to a penthouse apartment. His mother embraces him before forcing him into a high chair and feeding him 'nom-noms'.

Far below in the under city, Liz staggers in a gutter. A voice calls out from the sewer, feeling Liz didn't act properly with the recruits. Liz collapses, and by the morning, she has vanished.

To Be Continued...

### Characters

#### Party

* Bosco - shadar-kai ranger (debut)
* Irene Dubois - lizardfolk barbarian

#### NPCs

* Richard Fitzwell
* Honored Outside Guest tourists
* Junior Ranger Jort
* Gym Leader
* Audience Members
* Backup Dancers
* Gym Healer
* Sigourney Weaver
* Ranger Richard
* Ranger Jimenez
* Tortle Bartender
* Liz, Butch Queen Warrior
* Patrol Rangers
* Jort's mother
* Voice from the Sewers

## Episode Notes

### Lore

* In the lower districts of Glamalala, the populace use 'bottle caps', items found from the old culture that once lived on the island, to buy goods and services.
* Glamazon novices are expected to be home by curfew, signaled by the Vespertine Bells. Daily devotionals are also expected.
* Three Hundred Years ago, Glamala's front line defense against were the Ravishers, a group of Butch Queen warriors. They predated the current Ranger forces.

### Inspiration Earned

* Bosco - attacking Irene's wig
* Irene - having a wig reveal when her wig is knocked off in battle.

### Memorable Quotes

* "I'm definitely going to give them one of my proud turning stunts. It's a jump split. It's how I tell stories. It was past down generations through my family." - Bosco
* "I told you you'd end up taking my fist." - "Next time bring the Crisco" - Irene Dubois and Bosco
* "That is not going to win them over. They've seen a lot of skirt reveals in Glamalala" - DM James
* "They know the choreo. They showed up on Tuesday. They got their checks." - Bosco
* "My Chakra-Kahns are very balanced right now." - Bosco
* "I need an extra small." - "Are- Are you sure?" - Irene Dubois and Sigourney Weaver
* "All the Greatest Mounts" - "I've been called that too." - DM James and Bosco
* "I'll bite you both later." - Ranger Jort
* "The best results are always through bad ideas." - Irene Dubois
* "Mama Nom-Noms" - Jort's Mother

### References

* Wizard of Oz -"Nobody Gets in to see the Wizard. Not nobody, not no how."
* Parent Trap - Lindsey Lohan edition
* Kalina wigs
* Cher's 80s outfits by Bob Mackie
* Tasmanian Devil (Looney Toons)
* H.R. Geiger
* Sigourney Weaver
* SNL's Stefan's Club recommendations
* Shadowfax - Lord of the Rings
* Wilfred Brimley's Insulin commercials
* Mr. Ed
* Taco Bell Dog
* Baby Yoda
* Lizzo
* Skip-It
* Trader Joe's

### Name That Tune

* "Dancing Queen" - ABBA
* "Family Affair" - Mary J Blige
* "If I Could Turn Back Time" - Cher
* "Believe" - Cher
* "Tubthumping" - Chumbawumba
* "Coat of Many Colors" - Dolly Parton
* "Cotton-Eye Joe" - Rednex

## Behind the Queens

* This episode was recorded in January 2020 as the first of several planned backstory arc for the cast. It was not intended to be released this early, but with covid-19 shelter in place orders preventing in person recording, this arc was bumped up in the release order.
* This is the first time someone other than Matt has DM'd a game in the main feed.
* In the mid-episode break, James plugs the current Queens of Adventure: Legends episodes featuring the crossovers with NeoScum.
* This session was Bosco's first time ever playing D&D.

**Greetings From Fire Island**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Show Must Go On**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Operation Watersport**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - Ch7 - **Trials**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Ghosts of the Coast**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Devil's Due**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Special**: The Story So Far
**The Beautiful Place**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **A Dance in the Dark**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Drama in the Deep**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **Whispers From the Heart**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Danger Rangers!**: **Ch1** - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Mist Connections**: Ch1 - Ch2
**Unreleased**
Lost: Camp Crystal Light - Pax West 2018 --  vs the Lizard People
Live Shows: Seattle Style -- Minneapolis Style