A Professional Pirate

"**A Professional Pirate**" is a song sung by Long John Silver and his pirate henchmen in the film, *Muppet Treasure Island*. It is sung when they try to convince Jim Hawkins to join their crew but fail.

## Lyrics

### Muppet Treasure Island

**Long John Silver:** When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation

My father said "Now, son, this choice deserves deliberation

Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier

My boy, why not consider a more challenging career?"

**Pirates:** Hey, ho, ho

You'll cruise to foreign shores *(**Long John Silver:** Ha ha ha! Sing it, lads!)*

And you'll keep your mind and body sound *(**Long John Silver:** Show him you've been practicing!)*

By working out of doors

**Long John Silver:** True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without

**All:** And when you're a professional pirate

**Bad Polly:** That's what the job's about

**Long John Silver:** Upstage, lads, this is my only number!

Now, take Sir Francis Drake; the Spanish all despise him

But to the British he's a hero and they idolize him

It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good

And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood!

**Pirates:** Hey, ho, ho *(**Long John Silver:** Oh, I love it!)*

We're honorable men *(**Long John Silver:** 'Tis poetry in motion!)*

And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten!

**Long John Silver:** On occasion there may be someone you have to execute

**All:** But when you're a professional pirate

**Clueless Morgan:** You don't have to wear a suit

...What?

**Mad Monty:** I could have been a surgeon

I like taking things apart!

**Bad Polly:** I could have been a lawyer

But I just had too much heart

**Clueless Morgan:** I could have been in politics

'Cause I've always been a big spender

**Black-Eyed Pete:** And me... I could have been a contender

**Long John Silver:** Some say that pirates steal and should be feared and hated

I say we're victims of bad press; it's all exaggerated

We'd never stab you in the back, we'd never lie or cheat

We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet!

(Long John's speech)

**All:** Hey, ho, ho

It's one for all for one

And we'll share-and-share-alike with you and love you like a son

We're gentlemen of fortune and that's what we're proud to be

And when you're a professional pirate

**Long John Silver:** You'll be honest, brave, and free

The soul of decency

You'll be loyal and fair and on the square

And most importantly

**All:** When you're a professional pirate

You're always in the best of company!

### Pirate Pups on Treasure Island

**Captain Hook:** When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation

My father said "Now, son, this choice deserves deliberation

Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier

My boy, why not consider a more challenging career?"

**Hook's Pirate Crew:** Hey, ho, ho

You'll cruise to foreign shores *(**Captain Hook:** Ha ha ha! Sing it, lads!)*

And you'll keep your mind and body sound *(**Captain Hook:** Show him you've been practicing!)*

By working out of doors

**Captain Hook:** True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without

**All:** And when you're a professional pirate

**Mr. Smee:** That's what the job's about

**Captain Hook:** Upstage, lads, this is my only number!

Now, take Sir Francis Drake; the Spanish all despise him

But to the British he's a hero and they idolize him

It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good

And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood!

**Hook's Pirate Crew:** Hey, ho, ho *(**Captain Hook:** Oh, I love it!)*

We're honorable men *(**Captain Hook:** 'Tis poetry in motion!)*

And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten!

**Captain Hook:** On occasion there may be someone you have to execute

**All:** But when you're a professional pirate

**Mullins:** You don't have to wear a suit

...What?

**Bill Jukes:** I could have been a surgeon

I like taking things apart!

**Mr. Smee:** I could have been a lawyer

But I just had too much heart

 **Mullins:** I could have been in politics

Cause I've always been a big spender

 **Wibbles:** And me... I could have been a contender

**Captain Hook:** Some say that pirates steal and should be feared and hated

I say we're victims of bad press; it's all exaggerated

We'd never stab you in the back, we'd never lie or cheat

We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet!

(Captain Hook's speech)

**All:** Hey, ho, ho

It's one for all for one

And we'll share-and-share-alike with you and love you like daughters and sons

We're gentlemen of fortune and that's what we're proud to be

And when you're a professional pirate

**Captain Hook:** You'll be honest, brave, and free

The soul of decency

You'll be loyal and fair and on the square

And most importantly

**All:** When you're a professional pirate

You're always in the best of company!

## Songs

Muppet Treasure Island OST,T6 "A Professional Pirate"