2019 Power Rankings-Playoffs 2

## Important Poll on New Keeper Rule

Please vote.

I will reveal the full results at a later date, but general consensus was that the keeper rules need to be modified.

I am thus proposing what I call "The Saints Rule."

"The Saints Rule" would mandate that if you trade a pick in a round where you are keeping a player, instead of the player being worth your next available pick, it would be worth the higher pick.

Ex:

Alvin Kamara - 6th round keeper

I trade my 6th round pick.

Kamara thus becomes a 5th round keeper.

As it stands now, if you trade a round that your keeper is eligible for, the keeper then just becomes the next available pick:

Kamara is a 6th.

I trade my 6th.

Kamara becomes a 7th.

Many feel that this is excessive, citing Michael Thomas as the example. I have managed to keep Michael Thomas in the 16th round since he was drafted as a rookie by operating within the rules established by league vote.

The Saints Rule ensures that instead of allowing keepers to be kept indefinitely, every season your keeper will have a higher and higher pick value until it becomes valueless to keep him or he becomes ineligible.

The vote will pass with a majority vote and I will abstain. I am against the Saints Rule because it negatively effects my team, but as a show of selflessness as Commissioner I am willing to enact it beginning in 2020.

## Introduction

The quarterfinals lived up to the hype. Well, okay, the lack of hype. It was pretty much chalk, with Shotti annihalating the shouldn't-have-even-been-there ma ma momma said, and two significantely better teams battling for a chance to not get screwed in the quarterfinals when we all know they both deserve a seat at the table of the final four.

Now we move on to the semifinals, where Pain Train will play for the third consecutive season after back-to-back consolation years in 2015 and 2016. Shotti returns for a seventh time. Paddock returns for the second year in a row. And Duck makes his return for the first time since winning the Glory Bowl back in 2014.

## Quarterfinals Wrap Up

Nothing like having three consolation teams who didn't even set their lineups outscore four of the six playoff teams.

### Bottom of the Pack

Thanks, in part, to a dud by ma ma momma said (more on that in a bit), we had one of the lowest scoring quarterfinals to date, only barely outscoring 2018.

 2014
 2011
 2017
 2012
 2015
 2019
 2018
 2016

### All-Time Performances

Here is the updated list of quarterfinal performances. Below is a list of every performance in the quarterfinals ever, because what else is a man running out of chart ideas suppose to do with his time?

Updated Through 2019 season.

Amazingly, Jared had the 2nd worst performance ever in the quarterfinals this week. Shotti, meanwhile, became the first team to score in the 190's, which is an odd fact. Paddock 9 put up the 8th best score of all-time in the quarterfinals.

### The Stupid Idiots: In Memoriam

I assume some responsibility for this one because I really was convinced they would turn on the jets as the season progressed. Bad beat after bad beat befell them early in the year, but fantasy has a way to balance that power. Alas, it did not.

A powerhouse trio of RBs (Barkley, Connor, Chubb) along with a third round steal in Chris Godwin, laid the foundation for a breakout year. But nagging injuries were not kind to Bell. Barkley missed time, as did Hunter Henry. And while James Connor tried to tough it out, it has been a rocky month for the Pittsburgh star at a time when he was needed most.

The final straw was a week 13 upset against Papa. When they considered tanking the game for seeding, it clearly alarmed the Fantasy Gods. They struck down Stupid Idiots anyway for even considering it, pitting them against Paddock 9 and annihilating them in the quarterfinals. Still, it was a great improvement on their first two seasons in the league, and they outscored both other teams in the playoff hunt. That really means that their tank for the 6th seed would have actualy been a brilliant strategy had GBM made the playoffs at 7-6 instead of momma at 6-7. But alas, their loss kept them pinned to 4th.

The future is bright for this band of morons.

### ma ma momma said: In Memoriam

I am sad to see that momma couldn't make the most of her trip to the playoffs after many years of mediocirty and full-fledged suckiness. I was even more distraught to learn that they played the game from Milan. We all know that one of the stronger curses in the LOC is the Overseas Curse. Teams simply cannot win when they play anywhere but in America. It started when Momma lost the Glory Bowl while in Australia. He then had the worst season of his career while working in London. And now Milan. Sei una squadra brutta. Ciao, idiota.

## Stat Chat

* The Shotti Bunch is on a 9-game postseason win streak, the longest ever.
* ma ma momma said becomes the 3rd team to reach 70 combined losses.
* ma ma momma said becomes the 2nd team to play in all five LOC Bowl Games, joining GBM.
* Paddock 9 becomes the first team to win at least one postseason game in nine LOC seasons.

## The 2019 Cinco De Lose-O

The two teams who faced off in the 2018 Million Dollar Game face off in the Cinco De Lose-O, an improvement for sure but still not where either wanted to be this week.

### The Cinco De Lose-O (2011-Present)

This comes as a huge relief to Duck, who is guaranteed a higher finish in 2019 after three straight years in the 5th place game.

### Cinco De Lose-O Appearances by Team

Paddock 9 is numero uno in cinco de lose-o. He has put up three of the top four scores in this game over the years. Duck Punchers, on he other hand, has the lowest ever winning score in this game at 165.92. The best part about the 5th place game is when one of the teams scores enough to have beaten a few of the semifinals teams, and they have to live with the fact that if they'd gotten it done in week 14 they might have been a champion.

### The Stupid Idiots (7-7) vs. ma ma momma said (7-7)

Updated through 10/1/19

Well, it might be a bit of a letdown to see the teams with the two underdog stories already be turned back into pumpkins, but at least this is a good budding rivalry. After starting 3-0 against Bell, momma has lost three straight, including the last place game in 2018.

## Playoff Game Victory Droughts

"Playoff" refers to the main Festival of Champions bracket. It doesn't include the consolation tournament or the 3rd and 5th place games.

Updated through 12/12/19.

Sortable table, click on header arrows.

After winning three straight championships, Shotti swept the consolation tournament in 2018 and is now back with a win in the quarterfinals, making it seven Festival wins in a row and nine postseason wins overall.

Papa, meanwhile, will go another year without breaking their streak of seasons without a playoff win.

After failing to break their streak last year, Duck will once again be up against Paddock 9 with a chance to get out of their drought.

## Semifinals Appearances by Team

Last week, P9 had to overcome a tough matchup and Shotti just basically needed to start 11 guys, didn't matter who.

## (2) Pain Train (9-4) vs. (3) The Shotti Bunch (10-4)

Here is a showdown that has been brewing all season. Pain Train vs. Shotti, two teams that spent the second half of the year jockeying for the second bye spot. They traded wins in their double-header this season and have faced off once before in the playoff. That was in the league's third season, when Shotti put up over 300 in a Glory Bowl victory over Peyton Manning and the Pain Train's fearsome Johnson trio (Calvin Johnson, Andre Johnson, and Chris Johnson). Now, Chris is back in the semifinals with another stat monster MVP QB, this time Lamar Jackson. Jackson already has Pain Train with a 60 point lead heading into Sunday action.

There is one problem with this "rivalry" and that's the head-to-head history:

But all that matters is this season, and this game.

## (1) Duck Punchers (10-3) vs. (5) Paddock 9 (7-7)

This is the one you love to see. These two teams are meeting for a whopping fifth time in the postseason, tying the record set by RIPDab vs. Shotti. This is also the fifth season in a row that they are facing off in the postseason, which is a record. Paddock 9 is 4-0 against Duck so far. They have two Cinco De Lose-O victories, a Million Dollar Game victory, and a quarterfinals win against Duck. In each, they scored over 220 points.

Updated through 10/19/19

## Consolation Corner

And then there are these ingrates. It's a family affair for the bottom dwellers, as Papa and son face off against husband and wife.

### All-Time Franchise Consolation Tournament Records

Below is a list of all teams who have participated in the Post-Season Consolation Tournament and their performances in that tournament.

Updated through 1/1/19.

### (8th) RIPDab (5-8) vs. (9th) Papa's Posse (4-9)

1-1 against each other both in the postseason and in 2019, neither of these two teams wants to be playing for last place in week 16. RIPDab mustered a victory in the first round of the consolation tourney last season, giving them their first consolation victory. Papa, meanwhile, has five consolation wins and has never finished 10th place in the postseason. What theatrics await after their last matchup ended on the final play?

### (7th) Garoppoblow Me (6-7) vs. (10th) Sweet Dee (4-9)

Fantasy comes at you fast. A year ago it was the semifinals with a trip to Glory Bowl VIII on the line, and now it's the consolation tournament and hoping to just not be embarrassed. Still, these two teams always seem to be facing off with each other. They are tied 5-5 and considering we don't know what 2020 holds for either franchise, this could decide the final result of their epic and memorable rivalry.

## Conclusion & Glory Bowl Combinations

Next week, a new champion will be crowned in the League of Champions. I would like to meet up and toast the champion, but we will have to see what we can make work wtih everyone's schedules.

Of the four teams remaining, here are the possible matchups we will have in Glory Bowl IX:

* **Paddock 9 vs. Pain Train** - Unless you are Shotti or Duck, this has to be the matchup you are rooting for. No two teams talk more shit to each other and this would clearly be the most dramatic and watchable of the matchups. It would also guarantee that we have a new champion, making it six unique winners in nine seasons.
* **Duck Punchers vs. The Shotti Bunch** - On the opposite end of the spectrum, here are two teams who account for five of the eight current championship trophies. It is the Patriots vs. 49ers of Glory Bowls. Both teams are looking to reestablish themselves as the force to be reckoned with in the LOC and while I would be disappointed as commish to have to re-crown one of these two dynasties, it sure would make for appointment app-refreshing.
* **Duck Punchers vs. Pain Train** - The teams with the two best records squaring off in what would break a 6-6 series tie and crown the Glory Bowl IX champion.
* **Paddock 9 vs. The Shotti Bunch** - These two have never faced off in the postseaon and Shotti owns a huge 8-3 series edge, but Paddock 9 has been the superior team all season. It would be interesting to see if David can take down Goliath or if the mighty Bunch returns to Glory.