Season 2, Episode 27: Ei8ht

*The following article contains spoilers for Season 2. Please listen to the season in its entirety or be warned!*

## Ei8ht

### Air date

14 February 2023

**Ei8ht** is the 27th episode of season 2 of *Dungeons and Daddies*. The episode title appears to be a reference to movie titles stylized to match the installment number.

## Introduction

A parody of *Shark Tank* with Glenn Close and Ron Stampler pitching the Sharks the elevator that goes faster the more the button is pressed. After Glenn fails to convince the Sharks, Ron asks the Sharks if they'd be willing to make the deal without Glenn involved.

## Rad Facts

Taylor Swift (Freddie Wong): Taylor imagined he would die how the end of each episode of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure ends, but instead of "To Be Continued," the arrow would read "It's over."

Lincoln Li-Wilson (Matt Arnold): His favorite animal is the caterpillar. It's the only animal he sees in his backyard. He doesn't want them to turn into butterflies because they'll fly away.

Normal Oak (Will Campos): Normal celebrates every marching band instrument except the bass clarinet because it's trying to be a saxophone but isn't. His favorite instrument would be the bassoon, but it would not be feasible to have a bassoon in a marching band because of how it's played, and how the weather can affect the instrument.

Scary Marlowe (Beth May): The time from Pepperoni Tony's death to now have been the best 48 hours of Scary's life since before Terry Jr. joined the family.

Dungeon Master (Anthony Burch): Every 3 months, Elite Patreon subscribers get to participate in the Vizier chat with Anthony where they have free reign to ask him questions about the campaign, Anthony's life in general, etc. One of the questions that stuck with him was, word for word, "It seems like you're really addicted to validation, but you can't accept praise. Why is that?"

## Plot Summary

### To Hell

Taylor's head falls from his shoulders, is still conscious and not spilling any blood.

Nevertheless, a portal from hell opens and Nick Foster jumps out to attack Willy. Link’s soccer instincts activate and he kicks Taylor’s head through the portal. The other teens, including Scary, dive in after it. The headless body remains standing in the Forgotten Realms.

In what they see of the ensuing battle Willy is cut across the face, then retaliates by cutting off Nick’s one remaining arm.

Scary and Link both grab for Taylor’s head. Link gains control of the head, but Scary tosses his pork pie hat into the fire. Link straps head Taylor onto his shoulder.

After some arguing, the five teens check in with Saintan Peter to gain entrance into the eight circles of hell. Since Scary confesses to lying and each of the boys take a turn saying the b-word, they get to enter. He explains that each of the layers will manifest relevant torture from their minds and they are on their way.

Scary reveals that Taylor’s head is alive because it was cut off using the I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Knife and that it can be easily reattached to the body once they get back to it.

### The Eight Circles

They cross through the lobby into the lust circle, where a projection of Hero Oak appears, manifested by Taylor. She evolves into anime girl form and they quickly move on.

The next level is gluttony, where delicious food is everywhere. Taylor and Link fall to the temptation and start devouring Hell Pocky, which are actually dangerous items (dynamite sticks, barbed wire and hot iron rods are mentioned, but there is no description to it). Scary and Normal cooperate to pull them into the next level.

In the pride circle, Teeny the Teen awaits them. Normal reveals some pretty intense self-absorbed thoughts covering for his even more intense insecurities. After he gets celebrated by fake Teeny and some fake students he jumps into a Grease car and gives fake Hermie a kiss on the cheek. Actual Hermie has been there all along and interprets this as cheating.

The five pass easily through the greed zone and into the circle of anger, where they are confronted with their own memories: the dinner party, Link and Normal's bad conversations with their missing fathers. For Scary, this hell is a hallway of mirrors. Taylor just talks about anime dubs.

In the circle of sloth they meet, aside from a lot of actual unbaptized sloths, Scary's image of her biological father: a deadbeat who only asks for money from her and her mother. She tries to play it off, but the others see through her lies.

In the circle of envy, Link’s mind manifests the Army of Two guys. Link steals the armor and masks from them and gives one of the skull masks to Taylor.

To Link's shock, most other Links or Lincolns he knows of seem to be in the circle of saying the b-word.

Having overcome the temptations of hell, they finally arrive at the throne room, where Jodie Foster awaits them.

## Trivia

* Pepperoni Tony went to Heaven.
* Link's baptism is invalid because they used Gatorade instead of water.
* People who canonically went to hell for saying bitch include: Abraham Lincoln, Link from The Legend of Zelda, Andrew Lincoln, Andrew Garfield, and Mr. Rogers.