Headhunters: The Fine Nine

## Introduction

No intro necessary. Let's get this one over with.

## In Memorium: Henry VIII

The moment has finally arrived and anyone who believes in fantasy curses knew it was coming. Henry the Eighth is eliminated eighth. Next year I'll be sure to change my team name to Henry the Never.

I really thought I had the best strategy out of everyone, but the execution just wasn't there. Two of my key WRs, Hollywood and Gallup, were on the bye, and I had just lost Kerryon Johnson to IR the week before. Investments such as George Kittle and DJ Moore were paying off, and in total I had started SIX players who had been won in bidding wars. But trying to ride out the initial wave of big bidding only could take the team so far and they were overpowered in week eight.

The part that pains me the most is knowing that I didn't just suck outright. I had the win on my bench with Jared Goff, but started Kirky knowing full well that Cousins folds in primetime slots. I was set up really nice to be once again atop the hierarchy in terms of remaining budget, but I didn't survive long enough to see the strategy pay off. I needed one more week, and Headhunters doesn't give us what we want.

Personally, this was my favorite league this year because I didn't need to worry about excruciating head-to-head losses every week. I only need to go through this pain of defeat once. I'm sad it's over but I'm curious to see what happens next.

Me:

## New Releases

Damn my team was good:

1. Dalvin Cook (I'm going to really miss having Cook in a league. Pat stole him from me in my main league and he knows it. FOOKAYU PAT)
2. George Kittle
3. TY Hilton
4. DJ Moore (yup, here he is again. This is the fourth time he has been eliminated/put up for auction)
5. Michael Gallup

## Week Eight Bidding Results

Bid Bullets:

* Al Snow is here to behead and bid and he's all out of behead. He's got me so pretzeled that I spent a dumb amount of time trying to figure out how $175 fits into 69.
* Henry VIII being 2nd on the top three bids hurts a bit.
* DogTheKareemHunter absolutely shocked the world by dropping bank on Evan Engram, leaving them with just $50 for the remainder of the competition.
* Ty Johnson sucks.
* Fewer and fewer players have been bid on every week as teams a.) run low on cash and b.) actually have rosters with players that they don't want to drop. Eventually we will see a tipping points where teams are so loaded that they are dropping first round picks to bid on other first round picks.

## Your Financial Portfolio

* Best Investor: The Guilloteam
* Worst Investor: Al Snow's Fav Squad

## Week Eight Results

* Special note: this is the third week in a row that Chris P has finished 2nd.
* Biggest Climber: The Guilloteam (Up 7 Spots)

* Biggest Faller: Al Snow's Fav Squad (Down 7 Spots)

## Kings of the Castle

Eight weeks, seven different first place finishers.

## Dungeon Dwellers

A new week, a new chart. Here is a list of second-to-last place teams every week so far this season:

BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS, Watcha gunna do, watcha gunna do when they should have been eliminated five weeks ago instead of you. Bad Boys Bad boys...

## Draft Dodgers

Okay, for weeks now Mike, AKA Ron Saquonson, has been asking me to give him some credit for being the guy to draft 17th and still be alive in Headhunters 2019. I mean, sure it sounds like the most difficult spot to draft. But think about it this way, he is the only team to have two picks in the first 18. No one else has that advantage.

But okay, I guess it's an accomplishment. So it got me thinking: how has everyone done compared to where they drafted?

What can we make from this? I guess that the middle picks were the most difficult to recover from. Four of the top six picks are still alive, as are three of the bottom four picks.

## Quick Note on Trades

Now that I have been eliminated, along with seven other teams, the voting system does not function as a viable option for trade vetoes. Yahoo doesn't account for the half of the league that is no longer active, so no veto will ever reach a majority. As a non-competitor, I am going to operate as judge, jury, and executioner for all trades moving forward. I will process all trades on a 24-hour clock to give teams time to file grievances with the league offices (my text message inbox).

Trades that will be vetoed by me regardless of manager grievances:

* Trading your best players for 2020 picks on the eve of your inevitable elimination.
* Trading your leftover cash for 2020 picks on the eve of your inevitable elimination.
* Trading MNF players on Sunday to try and save another team.
* Other obviously collusive deals that we are used to in standard leagues.

That being said, I have processed the stupid trade between Al Snow and Bad Boys. Congrats on your 2020 Headhunters trophy, Zach.

## Power Rankings

### 1(1). Al Snow's Fav Squad

Al Snow traded three bench players for Julio Jones and still has funds to bring in more top-tier talent. If he lands Dalvin, it's effectively over.

### 2(2). Chris P's Neat Team

Should be getting Davante Adams back soon and has consistently scored well. He has a 150-point lead over Zach in the overall standings.

### 3(3). Cam Shaft

Might have lost Brandin Cooks this week, potentially for the season, and has a tough bye week in week 11. But for the next couple weeks they should be fine.

### 4(6). Ron Saquonson

No Kupp this week and Ty Johnson might be a dud (Detroit run game has been stagnant even before losing Johnson). They've also lost two other RBs to injury (Chase/Breida) but let's not forget that they get Kareem Hunt back soon. Potential is here if they can get their backs in order.

### 5(4). The Guilloteam

Mr. Inconsistency is at it again, threatening to roll out Jacoby Brissett this week. Be curious to see what they do without Austin Hooper this week, seeing as Zach Ertz is a shell of his former self.

### 6(7). Bobecue Chicken

If this David Johnson injury is more serious than the Cards are letting on it's a problem for the chicken. They essentially have no depth and they are still starting guys that I am surprised to see in a nine-team league. Yes, this is a copy and paste job. What more is there to say? This must be what covering the Cardinals is like.

### 7(5). Neck-Fix and Chill

I can't shake the feeling that a reckoning is upon us for Neck-Fix. They are projected for 155 this week and barely have enough players to roster a full team with five players either hurt or on the bye. It looks like she'll have to roll out Olsen, Witten, and OJ Howard just to field a complete unit.

### 8(9). Dog The Kareem Hunter

Consistently average might be just enough to keep them alive another week.

### 9(8). Bad Boys

Traded Julio Jones for three guys who couldn't hold Julio's jockstrap, but these are desperate times and there were major roster issues with the huge week 9 bye upon him. It was a matter of survival in the short term, but the chance of this team making a run for the trophy is now likely gone.

## Bye Weeks

I have a question: who the hell does the NFL think it is having all these three massive fantasy teams on the bye the same week? And also the Bengals.

* Atlanta Falcons
* Cincinnati Bengals
* LA Rams
* New Orleans Saints

Happy bidding and also be sure to check back for the Elite Eight writeup where I have a huge announcement for what the winner of this season will get as a prize and how it will affect the 2020 Headhunters season....(eyeballs emoji)