Episode 32: World Wide Comedy

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

What is a joke and who owns it? What if anyone could write a joke and a professional standup comedian would read it on stage? Would you play devil or just let it fly? Would you do insult comedy or observational? Which hybrid is best?

## Idea Details

* Idea: World Wide Comedy, animal hybrids
* Creator of idea: Drew
* Purpose of idea: It struck me, all these people who got mad at you. They all - well, not all of them, but a lot of them wanna be comics. (Josiah: "Like *X-Men*.") Not like *X-Men*, and not like *Garfield*, either. But comic stand-up comic. Stand-up comedy. (Josiah: "Comic stand-up.") Right. They wanna do stand-up comically. The issue is, with their jokes, or their tweets, they're - they're not good. (Josiah: "They're extremely unfunny. Poorly written.") They're not gonna be famous comedians. (Josiah: "Cause they're bad at comedy.") And they're never gonna get that outlet. But they need it. What if there were a way for them to submit their jokes and have them guaranteed to be performed by a comic on stage? (Josiah: "Are you talking about that website we found on here? I think it was maybe on a Patreon episode, which I wanna remind everyone to go to our Patreon and uh if we get to a certain number then Drew's gonna uh do something nasty, I think.") No I'm not. If we get to a certain number, we're gonna stop doing Cameos. (Josiah: "Well that's also true. That might be true. No, but there was one time we found a website where you can get people from *Daily Show*, *Bee Show*, *Bee Samantha*, *Amber Rufflin Ruffin*, and uh *Jimmy Show*, all those people you can get them to write you a speech or something. Do you remember that website? Is that what you're talking about kind of thing? Comedy writers they will punch up your script, they'll fix it, they'll add jokes about Trump or whatever's gonna be the new joke. I mean it's kind of exciting to be living in between jokes right now and wondering what will be the next joke to do.") Right. Who will be the next laugh? (Josiah: "And so are you talking about hiring professional comedians to write jokes for common people?") No no no no no. No no no no no. This is exactly the opposite. This is going to be a way for - I mean, we have to admit that the people writing these jokes will never get on stage to perform them at any level. Um at a professional level at least, right? (Josiah: "Okay so you're talking about a way for regular people to write - they get to write the jokes.") Yeah. They write the jokes, a professional comedian performs them on stage. (Josiah: "Oh my God. Okay so, so the jok- so it's kind of like - I mean, what these people are doing now, these people who wish death upon me and my family for stealing their jokes, they're writing jokes and posting them on Twitter and then DMing their friends and asking them to retweet them and they've created this sort of false pyramid scheme of retweets, and it kind of ends there. But what you're saying is there could be a global comedy sta- Globe Hell comedy stage where people - the jokes actually get read out.") Yeah. They will actually be performed on stage by a professional comedian. I'm not sure how many we're gonna need. I imagine if we created ten comedians to perform the shows and have ten different stages around the world - (Josiah: "Sorry, wh- what are y- what are - sorry, can I - I'm not trying to play devil, I'm ju- I'm just really - well I'm just -") Well can I finish my - can I - well let me just finish my thought. If we - if we had ten different stages around the world, and we created ten comedians - (Josiah: "No but that's exact- let me just stop you right there because I'm not trying to play devil yet, you're just - once again you're skipping sort of important steps. What are you talking about? Why are you saying cr-") Well can I finish my thought? We have ten - (Josiah: "Go ahead! I'm just trying to understand -") I'm just saying - I'm saying imagine if we get ten million tweets a day - (Josiah: "Okay. Wait, so it's still Twitter.") Right. (Josiah: "What -") Well suppose we were creating a new website. (Josiah: "Well wait, but how - we were talking about how many tw- but oh the s- okay.") The equivalent of - (Josiah: "But ins- ther- wer- so many - tw- Go ahead.") Let's say ten million jokes. (Josiah: "Go ah- g- b-") Let's say ten million jokes, right? (Josiah: "Te- m- t- t- o- k- every day.") Let me finish my - ten million jokes every day. (Josiah: "S- k- On Twitter.") We have ten - it doesn't matter. We can create a new platform for them to submit their jokes. (Josiah: "Twi - the Twitter users.") Right. We have ten different stages around the world. Okay? You understand? (Josiah: "Okay. So there's ten stages. There's ten s- make ten stages. You're making me reme- you're making me think about grief and all of the stages of -") That's funny. You could submit that joke. (Josiah: "Well not really, I don't think I could because well that's maybe an issue we'll talk about later but I don't see how one person could really do that jo- that - you need two people in order for that sort of banter to work.") Okay. (Josiah: "So what are you saying, there's ten -") Ten stages. Ten stages around the world. Ten million jokes. We create ten comedians - (Josiah: "No but what - i- g- but let me just - before you finish your thought, w- I'm trying to understand what's -") Well can I finish? Can I finish my thought? (Josiah: "Sorry, go ahead.") Ten million jokes. Ten stages. (Josiah: "There's ten s- yeah.") Ten - (Josiah: "I know - I heard all that stuff.") We create ten comedians. That should be enough to read one million jokes a day. (Josiah: "But Dr- can I interrupt?") Each one is - the jokes. (Josiah: "Can I interrupt?") Yeah, I'm done. (Josiah: "Why are you saying we create comedians? Why are you saying we creating come- there's already - I mean, a comedian is statistically probably a comedian is born every minute on this - on this damn Earth of a that we call home. And so why would we cre- why are we creating comedians when comedians are - there's already so many people struggling for - I mean, that's the problem here is all there's - there's more jokers than there are joke jobs and so that's the pro- so why would we create a comedian and how do you even cre- can a comedian be created? I mean, you gotta just take their lunch money, so to speak? Or uh give em a w- one too many wedgies when they're a little kid or how do you create a comedian? Kick some sand in their - don't have them go to the prom or make them feel left out or have them be picked last at school? Or how do you create a comedian, do you just kind of tell them insults all the time and then they have this sort of chip - I mean, how do you create a comedian, Drew?") Well, Josiah, before I get into creating a comedian and what our comedians are and what they will be, let me explain my reasoning to you. Do you remember those comedians that we watched earlier in the episode? (Josiah: "The little children that you showed me? Yes.") Yeah um - (Josiah: "There's a 14 year old boy named Dylan and then an 8 year old boy named Ned.") Two very different - (Josiah: "They left an impression on me so I remembered their stats.") Two very different kids. (Josiah: "Different styles of comedy.") Different styles. From different backgrounds. (Josiah: "Observational. And roast - kind of a roa- a classic Dean Martin roast.") From different backgrounds, right. (Josiah: "Amy Schumer roast.") So how do we get - (Josiah: "And ageism is a problem too, I think.") Well exactly. (Josiah: "Cause some people might say, 'Oh I like that 8 year old because his -") Josiah's too old. (Josiah: "No. That's not what I'm getting at. No one would ever say that.") Some people would. (Josiah: "What's your point? What's - what are you trying to say about these boys? It's always about the boys!") I'm trying to s- No! I'm trying to say that they're very different. So how do we get a comic - (Josiah: "Why do you say that they're different? They're almost exactly the same. It's two white boys.") Well no. We both said that they're very - that they have very different comedy styles, uh very different backgrounds, one's 14, one's 8. So very different. (Josiah: "Maybe that's the problem though, it's two white boy- I mean, we're drawn to the comedy of white prepubescent boys. That's just our styling, but maybe that means that, you know, post-pubescent boys or men don't get as much work, because of our biases. Is that what you're getting at here, kind of? Like we're drawn to - safe to say, despite how progressive I think I might be, I prefer the comedy of 8 year old boys.") Right. And I prefer Dylan's, who's 14. So how do we find, you know, the middle ground, and how do we find the perfect sort of avatar for these jokes? (Josiah: "Cause the other problem is, most of the people on Twitter, who some of them I do consider friends now, some of them I consider maybe enemies for life, but most of them are probably nearing 50, and mostly women. So which kind of boy do they like more? For their comedy?") Well exactly, that's the problem. So what I'm suggesting is instead of having a traditional comedian, we'll have something quite different. So first of all, we'll have a screen at the front of the stage instead of the usual chair and bottle of water - like an LCD screen. A digital screen. (Josiah: "So it's just a movie.") Well, not quite. It's still gonna be in a comedy club, there'll be, you know, you'll be able to order a meal, a good meal. (Josiah: "What kind?") I don't know, what do you usually get at a comedy - (Josiah: "Well this is true, I went to the Comedy Cave in Calgary once for my wife's work party and I remember they served kind of - it seemed like different kinds of - this is true - it was kind of a buffet style meal with different kinds of grocery store lasagna and casseroles, and I think it was about $12 per person to get that.") Okay. So you'd be able to get that kind of food, there would be a drink minimum, three drinks, just like a regular comedy club. And then here's where we get to creating our comic. (Josiah: "And what do you mean 'creating our comic' cause again, kind of there's a lot of people trying to fit into the a very small, you know, there's very few people, there are verrry few people who make a career out of comedy, let me tell ya, and there's a lot of people who want to and they just, you know, they're writing a sp- tapping, you go to a Starbucks anytime of day, they're tappin up a spec script about a sor- about uhh s- their - their li- their life and experience sorta Apatow-style. They're tappin away Apatow style. So why don't we pull one of them up to the big leagues? So but you're saying we don't - none of those people get - you're taking away the possibility of becoming the next Kevin Hart.") No, because again - imagine you write a joke and you're one of these women who hate you, and it's a very specific joke about - (Josiah: "Okay, I imagined being one of them, and I'm starting to see they have a bit of a point about that I shouldn't have stole their tweets.") Yeah. And now imagine Josiah Hughes comes out on stage and tells your joke. (Josiah: "You're saying we need to find a neutral party - someone that can represent everyone at once, because representation is so key and you're saying rather than - because you are a white man, a white straight cis man, you would prefer, rather than give up any space and allow someone who's different from you to have any kind of success, you would rather just nuke the entire playing field and instead create something new.") Well, I - no, I think this is a way to find something that we all love and we all find compelling, and that's why I want to create animal hybrids - new animal hybrids using an algorithm to combine these animals together and create an avatar that these jokes can be read by.
* Timetable: No timetable was given, although it should be ready as soon as the joke submission website is finished, and the ten animal hybrid comedians are created, and all preexisting comedy clubs are gotten rid of.
* Idea details:
	+ Ten animal hybrid comedians will be created by an algorithm to be avatars for telling jokes that are submitted through a website.
		- Note: This idea seems to contradict the elimination of the internet in Episode 8: World Wide Web and the elimination of all other forms of media in Episode 31: Mandatory Warhol. Presumably, as with World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service, this joke submission website would somehow be worked into the World Wide Web can-and-strings.
	+ There will be ten stages around the world where these ten animal hybrid comedians will tell the submitted jokes.
	+ There will be an LCD screen at the front of the cumedy club instead of the usual chair and bottle of water. There will also be a projector. These will allow for the creation of the 3D impression of the animal hybrid animals.
	+ You will be able to eat buffet style food like grocery store lasagna and casseroles at the cumedy club. There will also be a three drink minimum.
		- Note: Eating food at the cumedy clubs seems to contradict the intermittent fasting rule put in place in Episode 4: World Wide Potluck. It is also unknown how there can be a three drink minimum if all other forms of alcohol will have been made illegal after implementation of World Wide Beer.
	+ The animal hybrid comedians will read the submitted jokes in their own hybrid animal language, which will then be translated to a neutral mid-Atlantic English accent through the use of headphones. It will not be translated into any other languages because Canadian English will the standard worldwide.
	+ The animal hybrid comedians will be creations by the algorithm based on what are the cutest animals and the best fruits.
	+ Submitted jokes should mention cum for better odds of being read by the animal hybrid comedians. The 'comedy clubs' will be cumedy clubs.
	+ All preexisting comedy clubs will be gotten rid of because they will not be needed anymore.
	+ The animal hybrids were originally conceived of as digital creations, but they will actually be real animal hybrids telling jokes instead. This will help eliminate bias in hiring and racism in hiring, because jobs will no longer be given to people, but to created animal hybrids instead.

## Devil Play

* Josiah played devil by asking about the technology being used in the World Wide Comedy clubs, which use both an LCD screen and a projector.
	+ Drew pointed out that this is how to create a 3D impression, through use of both the screen and the projection.
* Josiah asked if the ten animal hybrid comedians will be real animals, and whether that would be playing God too much.
	+ Drew responded that these animal hybrid comedians can simply be created digitally where an algorithm chooses the cutest animals and the best fruits.
* Josiah asked how the jokes will be selected to be read by the animal hybrid comedians, pointing out that joke submitters could simply retweet each other to boost their numbers artificially. He also asked if there is anyone determining whether the jokes are worthy enough to be selected.
	+ Drew said the jokes should mention cum.
* Josiah asked if Drew has ended up making a safe space for extremely racist rhetoric as well as jokes.
	+ Drew responded that maybe since they have to create ten digital animal hybrid comedians, they will also have to create ten digital joke screeners. This will involve another LCD screen and projector in the cumedy club.
* Josiah asked if there would be an audience and if people would actually want to go to this.
	+ Drew said it's a cumedy club, so there would be an audience. And he believed people would want to go to see the animal hybrid comedians if nothing else.
	+ Josiah responded that he wasn't really sure if watching an animal hybrid comedian read one million submitted jokes every day is enough of a draw.
* Josiah asked if the digital nature of the animal hybrids could be optional so you could still do two-person jokes by splitting the fish-lion hybrid into a fish and a lion doing the jokes together.
	+ Drew asked he you would want to see a fish and a lion doing jokes together.
	+ Josiah responded that some jokes need a straight man or woman.
	+ Drew asked why he would want to see animals performing jokes, saying Disney films are filled with animals telling jokes. Animal hybrids would be doing something different from the norm.
	+ Josiah asked what he's supposed to do if he needs a straight man for his acts.
	+ Drew responded that he's out of luck.
	+ Josiah asked if they're getting rid of improv altogether as well.
	+ Drew said that they are.
	+ Josiah agreed that the idea is perfect and solves all the problems of free speech and comedy.

## Notable Events

* Josiah and Drew watched a video about intellectual property geared towards kids because Josiah had been acting like a child.
* Drew addressed Josiah's recent controversy where he and the Globe Hell Warning Twitter account were accused of joke stealing and being nasty.
	+ Drew summarized the controversy as follows:
		- Josiah, yesterday you were accused of plagiarizing tweets, quite credibly. The tweets were word-for-word. Now we were having fun with a certain side of Twitter, a more adult side of Twitter, a more grown-up side of Twitter that we usually go on. And Josiah, instead of creating original content based around those accounts like I was doing, making good Tweets about filling toilets and making brown messes, Josiah began just copying and pasting their tweets into our Twitter and pasting them as our own - or as his own - well as our own, he was representing the entire brand. And we got called out - I had to apologize, I had to go to each tweet and apologize, I was DMing people back and forth, having to explain that Josiah Hughes is not just a host, he's a character on Twitter.
	+ Josiah responded to the controversy with the following prepared statement:
		- I didn't think this was gonna come up, but I'm willing to address this if you'll allow me the space. Let me just say, I've been thinking about it a lot, and I think it's just really time for me to come clean and so this message goes out to all the people I hurt, all the people who had their intellectual property stolen, this one's for you. I'm just gonna name names here so: @hornybutmommin, @mamasbigthoughts, @senior\_daddy, @seniorita\_mammy, @sensei\_danky, @johnsmith4791, @thebigstink, @karenbraskins, @thefartinfather, @whodidanastyone778, @thedadsdilemma, @rippingmyartout2, @imeatinguout4dinner, @whatdatmoufdomama, @lustfulpoetry47, @rebecca, @singledadswhofuck21. This message is for you. I crossed the line and I just wanna tell you something.
	+ Josiah proceeded to sing along to a remix of *Horny - Electro Swing Version* by PiSk with the following lyrics:
		- > I'm sorry
		>
		>
		- > Sorry, sorry, sorry
		>
		>
		- > So sorry
		>
		>
		- > Sorry, sorry, sorry
		>
		>
		- > I'm sorry
		>
		>
		- > Sorry, sorry, sorry
		>
		>
		- > I'm sorry
		>
		>
		- > Sorry for stealing your tweets
		>
		>
	+ Josiah continued his statement of regret as follows:
		- I'm sorry. Do you forgive me? Do you forgive me, Drew, and do you forgive me, world?
	+ Drew responded to Josiah's plea as follows:
		- Well I can't speak for the world.
	+ Josiah continued his statement of regret as follows:
		- Well you do - you literally can and do but okay. Fuckin idiot. Do you forgive me, you fuckin idiot?
	+ Drew responded to Josiah's repeated plea as follows:
		- I forgive you.
	+ Josiah continued his statement of regret as follows:
		- Does the world?
	+ Drew responded to Josiah's question as follows:
		- Lemme - the world is still unsure. They need you to prove it.
	+ Josiah continued his statement of regret as follows:
		- Well hopefully each of the accounts that I named will rec- I mean, it's not very often that you get a specific shout-out to your @ handle, so I hope that helps and we can just move on and leave this dark day behind us. Wednesd- this is Wednesday.
	+ Drew responded to Josiah's hope as follows:
		- Well I mean, I don't know if a shout-out would - look, @thebigstink was mad.
	+ Josiah continued his statement of regret as follows:
		- I'm sorry to him and to @sensei\_danky and all the others.
	+ Drew responded to Josiah's apology as follows:
		- Well I hope they do forgive you. I'm still in contact with most of them - they're still messaging me.
	+ Josiah continued his statement of regret as follows:
		- Yeah cause you're probably trying to do nasty sexting with them, I think.
	+ Drew responded to Josiah's accusation as follows:
		- No, I'm not! I'm not.
	+ Josiah continued his statement of regret as follows:
		- I saw the way you were getting when we were doing that thing on there. I saw the direction it was moving in.
	+ Drew responded to Josiah's repeated accusation as follows:
		- Look, we were both going in very strange directions.
* Josiah and Drew listened to royalty-free comedy music and sounds to show their respect for the artform of comedy.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video of 14 year old Dylan Roche performing stand-up comedy. Drew purchased the rights to the video from a digital card.
* Josiah revealed that he used to do 5 or 6 nights of stand-up comedy per week on the Stephen Ave circuit in Calgary.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video of 8 year old Ned performing comedy on *Britain's Got Talent*.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about what stand-up comedy is.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about the mid-Atlantic English accent.
* Josiah and Drew listened to a man gargling water.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "\*Fighting back tears\* I didn't think this was gonna come up. I didn't think we were gonna talk about this today."
* "\*Fighting back tears\* Drew, Drewwwww, I - Drewwwwww, I didn't think this was gonna come up todayyyyyy. I feel like I'm blacking out. Give me a second to compose myself."
* "[In response to Drew saying he can't speak for the world] Well you do - you literally can and do but okay. Fuckin idiot. Do you forgive me, you fuckin idiot?"
* "[In response to Drew's question about how his week has been other than his controversy] I mean I was having a great week until all that happened - until I really had this dark night of the soul to face myself and face what I've - what a - you know, in search of the cloud. Everyone's online - you know they said that computers would be all on the cl- on the internet would be all on the cloud now and now everyone does things for cloud. And I think that it's just - you know you shouldn't be so obsessed with cloud on the internet cause it makes you do crazy things for the cloud."
* "[In response to Drew's question about whether he would like to listen to some comedy] And I'm listening to comedy usually when you talk and sometimes I don't know if it's on purpose or not, the - cause I don't know if I'm laughing with you or at you. Or again- or at your expense. And sometimes I'm just not laughing, I'm feeling more of a morose sadness when I listen to you talk, but um sure, I would love to listen to some comedy."
* "This skeleton is very attractive."
* "[In response to 8 year old Ned telling jokes on *Britain's Got Talent*] First of all, that - do you think that kid wrote those jokes? Cause I think he's steali - I think that child has stolen that material, and if I am canceled then I think he should be canceled, first of all."
* "[In response to Drew saying 'what if'] Well hey now don't - but don't - don't ask 'what if' because the other thing I wanna say is you forgot to ask the most important question. Our listeners are fuckin idiots, just like you, they're all - they're exactly the same kind of person as you, a fuckin dumb-as-a-doorknob piece of shit, and I'm just doing insult comedy like this boy that you love so much, so don't get offended, but you forgot to ask 'what is' and so I wanna just know what it is first."
* "I'm sick of your biases and you deciding what comedy is."
* "I'm looking at our watch history and it's - you've played me three videos featuring underage children so far today."
* "Oh my God. Okay so, so the jok- so it's kind of like - I mean, what these people are doing now, these people who wish death upon me and my family for stealing their jokes, they're writing jokes and posting them on Twitter and then DMing their friends and asking them to retweet them and they've created this sort of false pyramid scheme of retweets, and it kind of ends there. But what you're saying is there could be a global comedy sta- Globe Hell comedy stage where people - the jokes actually get read out."
* "Well wait, but how - we were talking about how many tw- but oh the s- okay."
* "But ins- ther- wer- so many - tw- Go ahead."
* "Go ah- g- b-"
* "Te- m- t- t- o- k- every day."
* "S- k- On Twitter."
* "What are you trying to say about these boys? It's always about the boys!"
* "Safe to say, despite how progressive I think I might be, I prefer the comedy of 8 year old boys."
* "Do banana birds speak differently than birds?"
* "And so you're saying that - let's take a look at some of the ones that we retweeted, as well. And you're saying that anyone could submit any joke and the animal hybrids would speak them out in sort of their native animal voice and translated into neutral English, and so what you're saying is, for example, and I'll make sure I give credit: so @puntmedaddy has written on February 8th, @puntmedaddy tweeted, 'I wanna peer into your dickhole'. And so you're saying- you're saying that - you're saying that that would be read out loud. Or when Rich, aka @SouthernRLM, his @, he tweeted on February 9th, this fella, he's kind of a middle aged man wrote, 'I need a grip that leaves a bruise, crazed passion, and real love. Deep conversations under the stars and kisses that last til sunrise.'"
* "Or when @RejectedRedhead tweeted 'My mind is far sexier than my body', that one would be read out loud? Or when Dick Tater @Starflower20201, that's 2-0-2-0-1, not 2021, he just tweeted 'Hug your kids dipshit.'"
* "Or maybe the lion that is a fish could read out @kimtopher22, uh I guess Christopher and Kim combined as a name is the username, they earlier this year tweeted, 'If you can eat greek yogurt, you can swallow.' Um so basically, we're getting rid of the gatekeepers of comedy and we're making it so that it's the people's comedy - it's what they deem funny."
* "Like, for example, this one @Playwfiret0day, the word today spelled with a zero, uh from his display name is 'worm', a couple years ago, it must have resurfaced more recently, but he tweeted, 'While getting head I like to randomly pop my glass eye out and put it near the woman's face,' so that one might be another one that could just be subm- just there's no - is there quality control, I guess is what I'm trying to ask?"
* "[On the topic of how submissions will not be made on Twitter, so will not be retweets] Well I guess if it's the bird doing it, they are literally retweeting it, because they're -"
* "So maybe later at night, @\_Egregious, this one might be for later at night: 'Pull those panties out of your crack slower babygirl, let me savour it.'"
* "Or what about 'I'm just looking for my Forever Nut,' [sic] was another one that I wrote."
* "Oh, have you been saying cumedy club this whole time?"
* "I guess my first question is, and lemme start by saying this - another reason why I love it: not only does it get all the pe- all the fuckin whiners about how 'Oh, you can't say anything in comedy clubs anymore, they can't - freedom of speech', you know, you're not allowed to d- do it, or you are too much allowed to do it, all the - both sides of the - just fuck right off, those fuckin people, shut the fuck up, both sides of every issue."

### Drew

* "[On the topic of everyone doing things on the internet for cloud] Well that's the thing, I mean there's a lot of cloud sharks out there who are only looking for one thing: S-E-eh. Cloud."
* "[On the topic of how Dylan Roche knows lawn darts were banned in 1988] Probably looked it up on Wikipedia. He's a kid, he knows - he knows that shit. His parents are ask him, 'how do you use Wikipedia?'"
* "[On the topic of whether Dylan Roche wrote his own jokes] Well that's the thing, Josiah, because jokes - it's hard to write jokes. Have you ever tried writing like a good joke?"
* "Most of your jokes are usually about, you know, uhh politic."
* "[In response to Josiah saying Drew likes being insulted] No I don't. It hurts my feelings!"
* "And I prefer Dylan's, who's 14."
* "Instead of a comedian reading this joke, it'll be a uh - maybe a - maybe a uh a banana bird. A bird - a bird mixed with a banana. So imagine this joke being read by a banana bird."
* "\*Reading a joke as a banana bird\* Waak! Waak! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!"
* "How do you create a 3D impression if not using a LCD screen combined with a projector? Use your head for a minute, you fuckin idiot."
* "This tweet from @JamieSweaty will be read: 'The wife and I exchanged oral favors on our first date. That was over 28 years ago. Just sayin'.'"
* "This is another one from our friend @JamieSweaty. Um this one would probably be read by the giraffe-turtle. Giraffe-turtle would probably say 'Most women's first anal experience was bad because the guy was impatient. I spent many weeks showing the wife how her ass could cum with my finger or tongue. Then I waited until she asked for it. That way she didn't fear pain, she expected pleasure. #AnalAdvice'"
* "But um this one by M!SSY @hopper\_m, 'I just read that farts are the screams of trapped poop, and I will never look at anything the same again!' I think we'd wanna have stuff like that, I mean that's kind of like - that's - that's kind of like gross, but it's not dirty, so we'd wanna have something like that in the afternoon."
* "Right or this one from - from um Globe Hell Warning Leftistm Podcast, I think this was one from you: 'rubbing cbd oil on my you know what,' that could be more of a later one."
* "Um or what about this one from @uncledrunky, 'Barista: Want room for cream? Me: yeah,' but he's got a winking face there."
* "Well they're not a screener. They're a screener, they're not a screen."
* "Why would we hire a human being when we could create a new hybrid creature?"
* "Here's the thing: we talk about hiring, you know, bias in hiring, uh, you know, racism in hiring. What if all jobs were given to digital creations, digital hybrids, instead of, you know, going to the store and having a bunch of different people there, we'll have a bunch of different animal hybrids. And I don't know how we're gonna - maybe in that case, we're gonna actually have to create them, so let's just forget the screens, we'll create real animal hybrids and we'll teach them jokes. Play devil to that, stupid."
* "Why would you wanna see animals performing jokes?"

## Trivia

* This is the first episode with the words "World Wide" in the episode title since Episode 29: World Wide Health Care.
* This is the second episode to reference the Comedy Cave in Calgary, after Calgary Awareness Month Episode 2 Arts and Culture.
* This is the second idea proposed by Drew where he mentions animals and bananas, after his chimp butler introduced in Episode 3: World Wide Rainforest who he pays in bananas.
* This is the second idea proposed by Drew that involves creating a website, after Episode 17: World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service.
* The online joke submission is similar to World Wide Riff, an idea proposed in Episode 15: World Wide Beer with special guest Tom, whereby all Globe Hell Warning listeners can submit good or funny ideas for new projects to the Globe Hell Warning Twitter account, Josiah's Twitter account, and Drew's Twitter account. It was stated at the time that the best riff might just get discussed in an upcoming episode of the show, and would be rewarded with a $5 WWD Tim Horton's gift card. It is unclear if any winners were ever selected, or if the idea was simply rebranded into World Wide Comedy.