Season 3 Episode 13: Making the Wokies REEEEE

Lets Hecking SKREEEONK and make the wokies REEEE. The #1 Carnivore Diet podcast is back to drink your salty SJW tears. Plus, Nate and Drew are starting their own Chapo Traphouse Affiliated Podcast ChapoNANDD

### Release date:

Friday February 10th, 2023, afternoon-ish

## Episode Summary

Surprise episode! A fragile Truce! Nate Home alone! ChapoNANDD! Balloon Boy! Earmuffs?

We all thought this week Nate was gonna be visiting family on the east coast, but then he pulled a classic Nate and stayed home in his dungeon talking to his online friends instead.

The lethal episode was incredibly stupid but in a watchable way. Tom mentions a scene from the end of season 1 where Gideon Lyon blows up a Motel room with his rocket launcher. He also explains some internet lore and it becomes clear why it's his job to remember everything.

Unfortunately he also talked about the Melonie Mac freaks with his "other podcast", so in retaliation Drew and Nate form a new Chapo Spinoff called *Chapo Nate and Drew* or ChapoNANDD, where they talk about whatever Tom and the other Chapos are talking about. Once again, ClayneCast is a trendsetter.

A large part of the show is about the Balloon boy incident, in which a homemade helium-filled gas balloon shaped to resemble a silver flying saucer was released into the atmosphere above Fort Collins, Colorado, by Richard and Mayumi Heene. They then claimed that their six-year-old son Falcon was trapped inside it.

Nants are once again discussed passionately.

As we've learned on this show, neither the Sheriff's nor the Border Patrol can be trusted. This episode reiterates this, by having the LAPD investigate a murder at the U.S.-Mexico border 140 miles away.

**Advice for Young Leftist Men:** Don't bully people. Unless its your friends or they deserve it, in that case you can bully them a little.

### Father-Son-Updates

DiDi's doing great, eating lots of cheese (protein). Cheddar is orange like a Carrot hence it is good for you.

T is AWOL, he’s yet again escaped Tom’s cage, likely thanks to his fluid form and hasn’t been seen since. Scattered reports about someone fitting his description seen riding an ATV at 2 mph and looping on the interstate.

BriFi didn't go to NY with Charlotte and the other kids but instead stayed home. We find out BriFi has to sit at the kids table at big events, and even then he gets piled on by the kids, as well as the adults, in some kind of doormat scapegoat type of situation.

### Watch-a-long

Click here for the link (Patreon Exclusive!)

### Episode Recap

This weeks crime involves a father-daughter-duo of Mexican asylum seekers who escape Coyotes (People who smuggle others across the U.S.-Mexico border) hence the title. Evading them is not hard however, as their aim is about as good as AR15's. Cole has several flashbacks to the past with his mother, eventually recalling her death and passion for telling stories through photography. Murtaugh doesn't wanna go to the desert so he stays indoors mostly, while Trish and the kids get vetted for the DA position she's running for - uncovering Trish's secret previous husband Barry Turtletaub! They escape the Coyotes chasing them and give the hard-drive to a very large journalist (played by Michael Wayne Foster, who is invited to come on the pod any time to talk about the show!). Avery announces that the Father and Daughter are granted political asylum and no-one faces any repercussions as per usual. Cole is badly wounded and apparently the only doctor on call is his ex wife wonder what will happen there.

- Ana

Starts with a nighttime border crossing, somewhere in the desert between Mexico and the USA. Something goes wrong and a man has to escape on foot, leaving behind his daughter who he tells to hide in some old truck. Middle of nowhere.
Cole talking to Maya has another flashback to his mom taking pictures of beautiful boys. Erica is now gone despite their playful condiment fight last episode.
MMM, Cynthia, Trish’s campaign manager in the kitchen tells them she’s spun much worse than RJ opening a pot shop. Roger insinuates everyone else is a time bomb, but not him, who has slain countless people in the last 3 years. The way time works in this show it’s probably barely been a year.
Cole and Nat in the hospital with the guy from the opening. He’s seeking political asylum and tells Cole about his daughter he left behind somewhere in the desert with his bag and begs him to go find her.
For some reason, these LAPD detectives are at a crime scene in said desert. The woman driver from before is now shot in the head, slumped over the wheel. It may seem strange at first, but as we have learned from previous episodes of the show, we can neither trust the border patrol nor the sheriff’s department.
Murtaugh complains about Cole calling in sick and Scorsese and Gute are there to offer one line.
Back at the station, Murtaugh bitches to Avery and is concerned the wife’s agent will find out they took some cheese illegally when they were working together. A border patrol agent is there to tell them about a man and woman who got smuggled across the border last night.
Just then, Cole has found the guys daughter Ana instantly in this literal desert. Suddenly, bad guys show up in a black escalade and without saying a word, start firing shooting into the truck the girl was just in.
They chase them in a car, but Cole tricks them by sliding down a little hill to safety. Despite being in a car and wielding fully automatic weapons, they only hit SWS once with a grazing bullet.
Trish has been married before roger in Vegas but only for 2 weeks and Roger doesn’t know. Riana overhears Cynthia mention the guys name, Barry Turtletaub.
Roger looks for Cole in the hospital.
Cole and Ana find an abandoned cabin and when he finds a magazine that is open on a page with a photograph his mom took and he falls over getting a flashback to his last time seeing her as a young cole storming off to westpoint.
Cole has  another flashback to seeing his dead mother in a morgue, shot in a warzone. The mortician gives him her bag with a roll of film and photos.
Baily is driving Roger through the desert, even though they have no clue where they are. They’re just driving around aimlessly but somehow, improbably, find Coles car. Someone is rummaging around inside it but it’s not Cole, it’s a bad guy who without warning whips out an Uzi and opens fire. Bailey speeds away while Murtaugh shouts at her and they go down the same hill as Cole and girl. It seems this hill has magical properties the bad guys don’t trust, because they get out of the car and fire a few shots in their direction then just leave.
Murtaugh finds a bloody LAPD badge and they start to track Cole.
Ana has to perform surgery on Cole and saves him.
Murtaugh and Bailey march through the desert bickering when eventually the bad guys show up on the horizon. Cole thinks he’s hallucinating when he sees Rog and Sonya running towards them, but they really are there! Just in time for the bad guys to arrive and start shooting within seconds of getting out.
Just when things are looking really grim, Avery and Gute show up in a helicopter! They blow away all the bad guys and rescue Cole. Kevin Rahm the GOAT.

In the Murtaugh mansion, Cynthia is going over what she found vetting the family. RJ has a public exposure charge, Riana still underage has been drinking again. Trish starts to scold her but under pressure, Riana brings up her first husband Barry Turtletaub and just then Roger comes in with the Mexican refugee Ana he found in the desert and now is hiding from the authorities.
Ana calls her father, and he tells her about a Wade Dykstra, the only person they can trust and to give him the hard drive in the bag she has. She steals Murtaughs car and drives off into the night.
Cole in the hospital barely alive sees Jose being taken away by some shady looking border patrol agents. He realizes something is up and limps after them despite the pain and his ex-wife shouting at him.
Somehow, he ends up in the parking lot and they try to run him over, but he hold on to the car and begins to ride the roof! He’s ridin’ the roof! Then he rips out one of the windshield wipers and stabs the driver in the throat causing them to crash. Cops show up and Nat sees Cole in his socks.
Eventually, Murtaugh tracks down Ana and she’s giving this Wade Dykstra guy the hard-drive but Murtaugh profiles him and thinks he’s a bad guy and punches him. Turns out he really *is* a journalist and has been helping Ana’s dad uncover corruption.
Avery announces the two of them have been granted political asylum and everyone is happy .
Murtaugh is a big whiny baby and pulled Barry Turtletaub’s file. But claims he didn’t look inside it and hugs Trish instead saying he doesn’t need to know. He throws the file in the fireplace and pretends not to care but then suddenly sees a picture of Barry and an Olympic medal.
Cole got prints of his mothers photos made and has them displayed in a gallery. His daughter Maya is there being snooty and he is sad. He has another flashback to hanging up pictures of young men in a dark room with his mom the end.

## Notable Quotes

### Nay-Nay (Bottom leader)

* "Are we cool?"
* "You broke the truce of earmuffs!"
* "I don't care, I'll be the bottom!"

### Pretending Tom

* "When have we ever catered to new listeners, or listeners in general?"
* "You're breakin' the truce!"
* "No...I haven't heard of them. I'm the new Nate of the show. No, I've never heard of that."
* "We're above the audience!"

### Drew (Top leader)

* "We're the role models!"
* "I'm allowed to talk about American stuff. Right Nay-Nay?"
* "Me and Nate. Chapo NANDD. Right?"

## The ClayneClandestine

The dialogue in this episode really raises the question: did the Lethal writers name Cole and then decide to name his ex Nat, as in Nat King Cole? Are we gonna meet a King before the series ends?

## The Leftist Angle

The three hosts (aka the holy trinity) are Role Models for young leftist men and you should follow at least one of them.

## CCEUpdates/AMPDates

### The Paver 2

Completely different from The Paver 1. The Paver 1 is Sicario 1 and this will be like Sicario 2.

## Get to know your host(s)

Tom would use his throwing knives to take down a spy balloon, Nate would fly past it in a plane and just grab the balloon out of the window. It sounds like Drew would do the same.

Tom absolutely loves his Dallas Mavericks. He doesn't like the Rodeo but he does like the BBQ.

When Drew visited Texas he ate Bacon & Cheese Kolaches every day, which is healthy aside from the dough. He also floated down a river in Texas once.

Nate spends literally all freakin' day with his kids.

## Trivia

To understand this show, simply listening to the episodes is not enough. You have to follow all the hosts on twitter, be able to read their minds and be in their Text chains.

The start of this episode is a little messed up on Spotify, as the intro plays over the actual show. Drew fixed the version on Soundcloud though, leading to discrepancies between the length across platforms. Depending on where you listen this episode is 59:40 or 1:00:03 long.

## Freaky Figures

The first 6 episodes of ClayneCast sound fantastic.

## Clayne ForeCasting

Nate is gonna get courtside seats to a Dallas Mavericks game, and bring along Levon, one of the T-Shers and if there's room, Drew. This may endanger Tom's life.