A Monster Cock

I enjoy taking nightly hikes through the concrete jungle of my city. There’s a certain magic to this setting of black and gray cold stone architecture. It might not be the sightliest thing around, but it’s charming in its way if you’ve lived in it long enough. In any case, I tend to just aimlessly wander around town at night through the streets and the alleys, just digesting the day or something.

My mindlessness had gotten me into trouble more than once, to be entirely honest. I accidentally crushed a few drug deals and nearly paid the price. Luckily, I have my way with words, so these occasions worked out fine for me. Sometimes a homeless person or some drug addict will follow me around for a bit until I lose them.

"Welcome to the jungle. We’ve got fun and games. We got everything you want, honey; we know the names. We are the people that can find whatever you may need. If you got the money, honey, we got your disease," rings true in this city.

Usually, I just get a rush of adrenaline from these encounters. Yesterday, I nearly had a heart attack. It all started when I felt something following me. I’ve developed this sort of sense of telling when I’m being followed. Maybe it’s some paranoid thing. I don’t know. Either way, it’s useful. So, I was walking around in the dark, strutting down Main Street Avenue when I felt something behind me. I looked back, but there was nothing there. I kept on walking, but the feeling persisted. Every time I looked over my shoulder there was nobody behind me or anywhere near me.

I heard something that sounded like teeth chattering, but louder. The strange sound made the hairs on my neck stand up; I had never heard anything like this before. Immediately turning around, I saw nothing but a long lanky too legged shadow slipping into the darkness.

My body tensed; this was a large, large person following me. Probably seven feet tall. Whoever this was, their body was rock solid with a titled maniacal posture. Then I heard that awful sound again and my fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. First time I’ve had such a reaction to a fading shadow, but it was too late to think. The animal part of my brain already commanded my legs to run for my life.

I sprinted out of there, but no matter how far or how fast I ran, every time I looked back. The shaft-shaped shadow was right there, right behind me. A few moments after the initial encounter, I was having a full-blown anxiety attack running like a gazelle in strange patterns across the concrete jungle in a pitiful attempt to outrun the extravagantly swollen two-legged shadow that was always there. Right behind me, ready to pounce and take me down to the ground.

Yet no matter how fast or how far I ran, I couldn’t escape its growing presence. No matter where I went or what I did, it was right there; still stalking, always stalking.

I was so focused on running from that thing that I nearly got run over by a passing car. The flashing headlights burned my retinas, momentarily blinding me. I heard the sound of an engine roaring and tires squalling as the driver swerved his car into the night.

Blinded, scared, and on the verge of a heart attack, I moved on autopilot and ended up stumbling all over my feet. Landing face-first on the cold concrete of a dark alley, my body nearly flipped over because of the sudden impact.

Sharp pain assaulted my head and neck as I squirmed on the ground, hoping nothing was broken. I nearly forgot about the maniac following me around. Until I heard that God-awful chatter again. My heartbeat skyrocketed as I turned over and saw that massive thing… that massive bipedal cock. Fully erect on its two legs, standing over me. Towering over me quite literally.

And trust me when I say it was a monstrous cock, I’ve seen my fair share of giant cocks. I grew up on a farm.

I crawled backward slightly, but the phallic form of the massive monstrosity simply drew nearer. The pain was momentarily gone, but blood-freezing fear took its place. The cock made these disgusting gurgling sounds as its entire form shook and pulsated above me. A million thoughts raced through my mind. I closed my eyes, fearing for the worst as the gargantuan cock opened its beak and its throat shook and rocked right above my face. I’ll never forget how its black feathers danced and its wattle flailed around like a set of testicles swaying during a jog.

I heard something fall next to me with a soft thumping sound and then dead silence. It took me a few moments to muster the courage to open my eyes, but when I did, I was finally alone. My wallet lay beside me, covered in mutant avian phlegm. The giant monster of a cock followed me all around town, nearly scaring me to death - to return my wallet to me!