Book Learning

**Book Learning** is the 8th episode of Kong Does It Again.

## Plot

*The contestants sit around in the road, bored.*

**Computery:** Oh no, everybody! An INFECTED WEASEL!

*An infected weasel slinks towards the cast. A bunch of contestants start screaming.*

**Long-Name:** I'll handle it.

*Long-Name takes a baseball bat and smashes the weasel to death.*

**Calligraphy:** Phew! What a relief.

**Cola:** I am SO sick of this apocalypse. I'm tired of wearing this gas mask.

**Bracelety:** I wish this “Jackal” guy who Mister Snake keeps insisting did this would reveal himself so we could get rid of him. Spending Christmas through an apocalypse is sad.

*The scene cuts to a flashback of Hearty and Domino sitting next to each other.*

**Domino:** Hearty, because I think you're so great, I got you this wooden plank with a bunch of nails in it.

**Hearty:** Wow, thanks! That was really thoughtful!

*The scene cuts back to present time.*

**Poke Egg:** Say, why don't we just leave this place instead of trying to get rid of the gas?

*Jimmy Kong walks onto the screen.*

**Jimmy Kong:** It’s because the Mayor Weasel owes me ten dollars and I'm not going to let him get away with not paying me. It's elimination time!

*Les Explosifs stand in a parking lot across from Jimmy Kong.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Hello. We got fifteen votes, but unfortunately for me, said votes were divided amongst three people. I have eleven weasel corpses.

**Isotope:** But Kong, those corpses are DISGUSTING! They’re infected with all sorts of diseases! Don't you kn-

**Jimmy Kong:** Mister Snake is the only one of you guys who has a real immune system, I think you'll be fine. Anyways, it's time I name the people who got no votes. Bubble Chat, Cola, Computery, Eraser Cap, Isotope, Knot, Mister Snake, Night Cap, and Red Velvet, you all got no votes.

*Jimmy Kong half- heartedly throws out a number of weasel corpses.*

**Fish Bowly:** OH NO! I'm one of three voted contestants!?

**Jimmy Kong:** You only got one vote, which barely counts.

*Jimmy Kong hands Fish Bowly a weasel corpse.*

**Fish Bowly:** Oh good.

**Jimmy Kong:** USB and Long-Name! Now it's just down to you two. One of you is safe with six votes, while the other is eliminated with eight.

**USB:** Dang! I can't be eliminated this early!

**Jimmy Kong:** I'm pleased to say you won't be! You got six votes.

*Jimmy Kong gives the last weasel to USB.*

**USB:** Gross…

**Long-Name:** But a-ha! Your remote is broken, therefore you can't blow me up. I won't be eliminated today!

**Jimmy Kong:** I thought of something. Follow me.

*The scene changes to the contestants walking into the Weaselton Jail. There's a desk and only one cell inside, with a bench.*

**Toxic Mushroom:** Weaselton’s crime rate must be pretty low…

*Everyone approaches the one cell, containing a weasel who’s evidently clawed himself to death. He is wearing a tracksuit and four tennis shoes.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Alas, poor Micycle. He has seen better days.

*Jimmy Kong opens the cell.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Alright, Long-Name. Get in.

*Long-Name walks into the cell and sits on the bench. Jimmy Kong shuts the cell door and locks it with a key from his pocket.*

**Jimmy Kong:** You'll be staying here until the gas is gone, okay?

**Long-Name:** Okay! See you then!

**Jimmy Kong:** Alright, bye.

*The contestants walk out of the jailhouse.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Alright, what's our first order of business?

**Toxic Mushroom:** How about we get rid of this STUPID JACKAL!

**Hearty:** I don't want to hurt your feelings, Kong, but we either need to get rid of this gas or get out!

**Jimmy Kong:** I famously have no feelings about anything. But you're right, this Jackal dude is bad news. If it is him.

**Mister Snake:** I swear it was! That laugh sounded just like him!

**Jimmy Kong:** Well, you did write down a list of traits on that napkin. Let me see it.

*Mister Snake takes the napkin out from under his hat and gives it to Jimmy Kong. He unfolds it and reads it.*

**Jimmy Kong:** “Mysterious… teleporting… hairy”. Hey, those are the three traits of somebody who can’t die!

**R.I.C.:** So what’s that mean?

**Jimmy Kong:** We should go to the library! Somebody’s probably written about the Jackal, right? Let's go check it out!

**Poorly-Made Card:** You're making a lot of assumptions there.

**Jimmy Kong:** There is only one way that I'm gonna be getting that ten dollars, and that's if we eradicate this blue gas. Let's go.

*The cast walks into Weaselton’s library.*

**Night Cap:** It’s weird that we haven't seen one other survivor yet.

**Alarm Clock:** Hey, look over there!

*A weasel at the front desk hisses at the contestants, foaming at the mouth. It has no visible pupils.*

**Beisel Globuley:** I am so sick of this.

*Toxic Mushroom hurls a thick book at the weasel, killing them.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Alright, everybody! First person to find me some info on The Jackal wins the challenge for the team. Go!

*The teams scatter.*

**Isotope:** H… H… H.  Here's the history books!

*Isotope grabs a bunch of history books. He opens one called “History of New Mexico” as USB and Red Velvet come to listen to him.*

**Isotope:** “In the year of 1590, three alcoholics named Cactus, Spectacles and Fern founded New Mexico completely on a whim after getting lost there for a couple months. Unfortunately, they displaced thou-”

**USB:** Hey, bookworm! Ever think of reading the glossary?

**Isotope:** Sorry, sorry! I just got interested…

*Isotope flips to the back.*

**USB:** H… I… J… no Jackal!

*The three get up and start walking.*

**Isotope:** We’re gonna have to look for another book…

**Red Velvet:** Let's look under “N” for New Mexico.

*The three walk by Hearty and Calligraphy, sitting at a table with a bunch of books.*

**Calligraphy:** Hearty, since we’re in the middle of what feels like the end of the world, I just wanted to as-

**Hearty:** Here we go! “The War of Wars”, by The Jackal.

**Calligraphy:** Hearty, that says Jack Al.

**Hearty:** Wow, you're right! I'm not very good at reading. Anyways, I miss you and I smooching! I can't do it wearing a gas mask.

**Calligraphy:** I wanted to talk about tha-

**Hearty:** Hey look, I found him!

**Calligraphy:** That just says Jack Al again.

**Hearty:** Oh.

*Toxic Mushroom walks to Four 2.0.*

**Toxic Mushroom:** Four 2.0, you have a photographic knowledge of everything, right?

**Four 2.0:** NO.

**Toxic Mushroom:** Oh.

**Four 2.0:** THAT POSER FOUR 3.0 HAS ONE THOUGH.

**Toxic Mushroom:** Yeah? Where is he?

**Four 2.0:** THE FUTURE.

**Toxic Mushroom:** That is not at all helpful! Could you please help me find a relevant book about this loser!?

**Four 2.0:** OF COURSE.

*Four 2.0 grabs a book from a bookshelf and flips through it very quickly. You can hear beeping noise from his analyzation.*

**Four 2.0:** THERE IS NO INFORMATION ABOUT THE JACKAL IN THIS BOOK.

*Toxic Mushroom sighs.*

**Toxic Mushroom:** Maybe Bracelety knows something...

*Toxic Mushroom turns around and wanders over to Bracelety, reading from a book.*

**Bracelety:** “The jackal is a species of wild dog. They are well known for their physique and their tendency to hunt.”

**Toxic Mushroom:** I think that's A jackal, not THE Jackal.

**Bracelety:** Do you think jackals eat snakes?

*Ilobulus passes by.*

**Ilobulus:** Probably not!

**Bracelety:** What about monkeys?

**Toxic Mushroom:** I wouldn't try it.

*Cola and Bubble Chat sit side by side, reading books.*

**Cola:** Hey Bubble Chat, how high can you go?

**Bubble Chat:** This high! :)

*Bubble Chat goes straight up, until they bump into the ceiling. An archaic looking book falls out.*

**Bubble Chat:** Oof!

*Toxic Mushroom catches the book, reading the cover. It reads “The Code of the Jackal”.*

**Toxic Mushroom:** Yes!

*Toxic Mushroom runs over to Jimmy Kong.*

**Toxic Mushroom:** Kong! I've found your stupid book!

*Jimmy Kong takes the book.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Wow! I bet this is a goldmine of info. Toxic Mushroom, you've just won for your team.

*Bubble Chat swoops in.*

**Bubble Chat:** That’s no fair! I found the book :(

**Jimmy Kong:** Hmm… okay. Bubble Chat, you will get the Secondary Winner ribbon.

*Jimmy Kong places a blue ribbon with a 2 on it on Bubble Chat.*

**Bubble Chat:** Oh boy!! :)

**Jimmy Kong:** So vote for any of the losers in the comments below!

* Bubble Chat
* Cola
* Computery
* Eraser Cap
* Fish Bowly
* Isotope
* Knot
* Mister Snake
* Night Cap
* Red Velvet
* USB

**Jimmy Kong:**Voting ends December 29th. Good luck!

## Trivia

* This is the second episode with no stinger. First being Amnesia.