Vampire

A **vampire** is a creature from folklore that subsists by feeding on the vital essence (generally in the form of blood) of the living. There are several named vampire characters in *Carry On* and *Wayward Son*: Baz Pitch, Nicodemus Petty, and Lamb.

## Physiology

### Ageing and Immortality

It's strongly implied that vampires are immortal unless killed. Also, they either have very slow ageing or don't age.

Lamb implies repeatedly that he's around 300 years old (when vampire society was very different), asks Baz how old he is "really", and the NowNext vampires specifically want vampirism because it stops them ageing.

It's unclear whether vampirism stops ageing immediately. Common theories include an association with drinking human blood, rather than animal blood. However, since Lamb's brother killed his parents before he went for Lamb, it's possible he was much younger than the 34 he claims to appear to be when he was turned and has now aged to around 34.

Lamb also claims that you can't stop being a vampire, but presumably he has never tried.

In *Any Way the Wind Blows*, Nicodemus reveals that vampires will not be immortal if they don't drink human blood. By going "vegan" and only drinking the blood of animals, vampires will age and eventually die; just like a human.

### The Turn and Other Effects of Vampire Bites

It seems likely that not all bites result in someone becoming a vampire. Lamb says the same thing. However, it's worth noting here again that when he talks about his brother he states that his brother didn't want a "comrade"; he was "thirsty".

If, however, you do know what you're doing, you don't have to kill or Turn. Lamb strongly and repeatedly implies that people like being bitten.  You could argue that this is supported by the Normal girl Baz sees at the party, who seems to be enjoying herself.

Turn is always capitalised.

### Different Kinds of Blood

Shepard notes that Baz looks greyer than the rest of the vampires. Lamb implies that Baz's colour and the kind of blood he drinks are related.

### Simon's Scent

Last time on 'Baz doesn't want to eat his friends but he also does', he told Simon he smelt like "bacon and home-made cinnamon buns", though it might have been metaphorical. Later, at the leaver's ball, he says Simon's smell has changed - and now he smells like "something sweet and brown. No more green fire and brimstone."

This time we get a new description, although it tallies with the *Carry On* Epilogue. And another description when Simon is shot. Baz tries to block this out with Altoids.

## Vampire Abilities

* **Advanced hearing:** Lamb and Baz are both able to hear Simon's heartbeat.
* **All senses are enhanced at night**.
* **Vampires move in a particularly stealthy way that is very noticeable**.
* **General speed, strength, feeling like a brick wall if you punch them, faster healing**.
* **Putting Normals under a thrall**. In this particular case, Shepard appears to those around him to be napping. It doesn't feel good once it wears off.

## Vampire Weaknesses

### Known Methods of Killing Vampires

1. Fire
2. Beheading
3. Being possessed by a demon and then getting a vampire to bite you
4. Staking.

Methods that don't work include:

1. Guns and potentially most other weapons.

### Vampires are Repelled by Crosses

Vampires are repelled by crosses, even non-magic ones. Bonus points for silver. (Simon's is gold.) Vampires get sunburnt and turn black instead of red. Baz thinks his burn might not heal, but it does, just more slowly.

### Baz Can Get Drunk

Lamb implies that other vampires don't - is this because Baz is a weirdo vampire, or because he just isn't a big drinker? I assume the latter, but could be convinced of the former.

Could also be because Baz only drinks from animals and is considered to malnourished because of this. This means the alcohol may be able to affect him for the same reasons as why he ages; because of his diet.

## History and Society

In the 1950's, Lamb tells Baz how vampires were driven out from the United Kingdom.

You can apparently get a medal for slaying vampires.

## References

1. ↑ "You won't feel so close to them, the Normals, once you've outlived your ties to mortality [...] There's no unbecoming, Baz. There's no sidestepping your true identity. All the rabbits in the world won't change you back. They'll just leave you thirsty." (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 52)
2. ↑ "Oh, I doubt he Turned him," Shepard says, smothering his chips in ketchup. "Vampires *hate* to Turn people. They either take a sip and let you go—or drain you dry and leave you dead." (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 47)
3. ↑ "So you don't Turn people?"
"Rarely. Most of us don't want the chaos and competition. Almost no one wants the responsibility." (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 52)
4. ↑ "No need to leave a corpse when you can leave a satisfied customer, you know?" (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 44)
5. ↑ "Because I didn't enjoy being bitten."
"Then someone was doing it wrong." (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 52)
6. ↑ Not as drained and ghostly. If this is what a vampire is supposed to look like, then maybe Baz is a vampire with an iron deficiency. (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 53)
7. ↑ "No wonder you're so pale. You're malnourished." (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 50)
8. ↑ *Carry On*, Chapter 71
9. ↑ *Carry On*, Epilogue
10. ↑ Simon smells like the kitchen after you pop popcorn and melt butter. There's a singe to it, with a round, yellow, fatty feeling that sticks to the roof of your mouth. Bunce is sharper and sweeter—vinegar and treacle. (*Carry On*, Chapter 14)
11. ↑ [Simon's] blood [...] smells like brown butter. (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 60)
12. ↑ (They're very good for blocking out blood smells. Especially the spearmint flavour.) (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 55)
13. ↑ "There's something in the room," [Lamb] says [...] "Can you hear their heartbeat?" [...] I *can* hear it—and I recognize it. (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 52)
14. ↑ "[The NowNext Vampires] would have an advantage at night," Lamb says. "Enhanced senses." (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 54)
15. ↑ [Vampires] aren't especially beautiful. (Though some are.) That's a myth, I think—vampire beauty. What they are is especially rich. And especially ... liquid. They move like oil, like shadows. Like cats. (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 44)
16. ↑ I know that I heal faster than other people. (More proof that I'm not a person.) But I've never really tested my limits. No one's ever emptied a shotgun into my chest or kicked me in the gut with steel-toed cowboy boots... (*Wayward Son*)
17. ↑ The worst I've been injured before this was when the numpties took me. I think my leg healed right away even then—but it healed wrong because I was stuck in that coffin. (*Wayward Son*)
18. ↑ Before that, there were fights with Simon. A few black eyes over the years, a split lip. I healed fast from those injuries, but so did he. I think Simon's magic used to heal him, even when he couldn't cast the spells to heal himself. (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 37)
19. ↑ Lamb did something to me. Hypnotized me or something. (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 55)
20. ↑ I'm still a little hungover from my vampire thrall. (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 50)
21. ↑ The vampire impaled on my axe handle has already started to wither. Like it was the magic in his heart holding him together. I pull back the stake, and he falls—a man-shaped pile of blood and boots and ashes. (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 22)
22. ↑ [...] there are at least three people wearing crosses sitting near me. One of them must be silver; my nose won't stop running. (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 9)
23. ↑ [...] my nose is still charred by the sun. (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 16)
24. ↑ "I remember hearing, back in the fifties, that there wasn't a single one of us left in the UK—that Old Man Pitch had driven us out, like Saint Patrick driving the snakes from Ireland." (*Wayward Son*, Chapter 44)
25. ↑ *Wayward Son*, Chapter 23