A Very Big Mouth Christmas

**A Very Big Mouth Christmas** is the eighth episode of Season 5 of *Big Mouth* as well as the Christmas special. It is the forty-ninth episode, overall.

## Plot

### Framing Device

Puppets of Maury and Connie set up for a Christmas party in a small cabin. However, the party seemingly fails as all the guests fail to show up. However, after Rick almost dies falling down the chimney, the three realize that being together is all they really needed.

### Jessi's First Christmas

Jessi is mad at his father and Caitlin for making her celebrate Christmas instead of Hanukkah since Caitilin is a Christian, as well as the fact that she still cannot accept "Cheese Baby". Connie then tells her about the birth of Jesus with Jessi as Virgin Mary, "Cheese Baby" as baby Jesus and all her peers as characters from the story. Once finished the tale, Jessi spots a present for her from Caitlin under the tree and finds matching "#1 Big Sister" and "1# Little Sister" shirt and onesie for Jessi and her unborn half-sister to wear.

### The 400-Year-Old Virgins

Two elves catch Santa and Mrs. Claus in the middle of sexual intercourse. Confused by what they just witnessed as Santa never told the elves about sex, they try to demonstrate it to the other elves and start an "elf-orgy". Santa enters the room and says it's going to be a very strange Christmas. Nick Birch receives a cum-covered IOU for an iPhone, Missy receives candy-cane panties, and Coach Steve gets two elves having sex.

### Mira-Kill on 34th Street

Luda remembers his first owner, a man named Anthony who was killed by the mob. He then recounts how he took revenge on the mob for killing his best friend.

### The Little Cummer Boy

After seeing Nick's awesome Christmas in comparison to his lame Chanukah, Andrew wishes he was a Christian. He awakens the next morning to a seemingly better life (he no longer needs glasses, his family has nicer things, and his parents are much nicer) and two stockings full of expensive presents plus a Range Rover. However, when he tries to masturbate that night, Jesus condemns him to Hell. In the end, he says he'll settle for a Ford Fusion over a Range Rover and embraces his judaism.

### Snowmom

When her mom is a no-show for yet another Christmas, Lola sees a mother and daughter having fun and builds herself a "snowmom". The snowmom is brought to life by magic, and the two have a fun-filled day complete with a snowball fight with the other mother/daughter pair., However, when they return to Lola's apartment, the snowmom melts and Lola is alone again. That is, until Rodney shows up with food from Lola's favorite restaurant.

### Vader Johan

Mila and Lotte tell the gang about Vader Johan, a spirit who takes the place of Santa in their country. Vader Johan is said to indiscriminately eat children who do not go to bed on time and say their prayers. However, even doing those two things doesn't work 100% of the time.

### The Unbearable Lightness of Being Santa

Matthew tells his sister Brittany that Santa isn't real, unaware that Santa is in their living room at that very moment. Santa has an existential crisis and questions how anything about Santa can be true. However, when his intervention in the "Mira-Kill on 34th Street" brings Jay and Luda together, his faith in himself is restored.

### Ending Scene

After nearly losing Rick, Maury and Connie realize that even if no one else came to their Christmas party, the fact that the three hormone monsters are all together is all they really needed to have a merry Christmas.

## Characters

### Major Roles

* Maury
* Connie
* Rick
* Shame Wizard
* Jessi Glaser
* Cheese Baby
* Santa Claus
* Jingle
* Twinkle
* Jay Bilzerian
* Featuring Ludacris
* Anthony
* The Mafia
* Andrew Glouberman
* Marty Glouberman
* Barbara Glouberman
* Lola Skumpy
* Snowmom
* Mila Jansen
* Lotte Jansen
* Vader Johan

### Minor Roles

* Greg Glaser
* Kaitlyn
* Sonya
* Matthew MacDell
* Coach Steve
* Dr. Hooves
* Nick Birch
* Mrs. Claus
* Rudolph
* Diane Birch
* Elliot Birch
* Judd Birch
* Duke Ellington
* Jesus Christ
* Satan
* Knights of St. Joseph
* Rodney
* Missy Foreman-Greenwald
* Brittany MacDell
* Maury's Dicks (Cameo)
* Alana Beth (Cameo)
* Tyler Perry (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Monica Foreman-Greenwald (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Cyrus Foreman-Greenwald (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Val Bilzerian (Pictured)
* Jenna Bilzerian (Pictured)
* God (Mentioned)
* Simon Sex (Mentioned)
* Mrs. Skumpy (Mentioned)
* Kimberly MacDell (Mentioned)
* Edward MacDell (Mentioned)

## Trivia

* This is the Christmas special of *Big Mouth*.
* This episode has no cold opening.
* Connie's favorite drink is "Jangle Juice", which is two drops of bitters, a shot of campari, and a squirt of her own feminine juices.
* Kaitlyn is a Unitarian.
* Connie used to be the hormone monstress of The Virgin Mary back in year 0 [sic].
* Casting for The Nativity Scene:
	+ Jessi Glaser as The Virgin Mary
	+ Connie as Herself
	+ Sonya as Gabriel
	+ Matthew MacDell as Joseph
	+ Marty Glouberman as The Innkeeper
	+ Coach Steve as Stable Owner
	+ Jay Bilzerian as Balthazar
	+ Nick Birch as Melchior
	+ Andrew Glouberman as Gaspar
	+ Cheese Baby as Jesus Christ
* Jessi gets a "#1 Big Sister" shirt for Christmas along with a "#1 Little Sister" onesie for the upcoming Cheese Baby as a present from Kaitlyn.
* Connie gives Jessi a wet dream about Dr. Hooves as her Christmas present.
* Featuring Ludacris' backstory is told, revealing that he used to be a dog named "Pretzel", who belonged to a charitable little boy named Anthony, who gave presents to underprivileged children before he was killed by The Mafia on Christmas Eve of 2017. He was given to Jay the following day by Santa Claus himself as a Christmas present.
* Mila and Lotte believe in their own Dutch version of Santa Claus called Vader Johan, who is a completely twisted version of Santa who kills kids.
* In hormone monster culture, when a monster dies, it is tradition to cut off their head and fuck their skull.

### Cultural References

* The backstory of Featuring Ludacris seems to mostly be a parody of John Wick, except in reverse, with the owner being killed and the dog seeking revenge. Also, the mob and their leader bear strong similarities to the Wick villains.
* When Pretzel/Featuring Ludacris says "I want my friend back, you son of a bitch", this is a reference to The Princess Bride, when Inigo Montoya said "I want my father back you son of a bitch". Both say their lines before killing a villain who begs for their life.
* Vader Johan bears similarities to Krampus.