Episode 229

**Episode 229** is an episode of the Drunken Peasants Podcast

## Start of the Show

After the (definitely not fucked up) intro. The peasants begin to shill the meetup. The ghost of Christmas past makes the podcast experience technical difficulties.(according to TJ)

## Middle of show

**The information segment**

TJ loads the Wikipedia page of Iain McColl.

 Paul uses the opportunity to use his Scottish voice.

**Troll or Not a Troll**

A creepy shower guy explains his sexuality.

Paul confirms he knows that the guy is not a troll.

Verdict: Not a Troll

The ghost of Christmas present buds in on the technical difficulties action.(presumably)

TJ suggests that Paul be the one to "re-align the dilithium crystals 'cuz it's dangerous."

This might be a hint that their studio is located on the Church of Gail.

**Political Shit**

Donald Trump acts like Donald Trump: a fucking idiot. Meanwhile, the peasants laugh at him for praising Joe Paterno.

Alex Jones says that "the GOP's treatment of Trump makes Jim Crow look like a blessing."

TJ becomes confused at this statement.

TJ reads off a list of the $25 Patrons. Scotty calls them various names. "Faggot. Liar. Communist. He's okay...." -Scotty Kirk

Paul personally thanks MetalKing24 for his contribution of $25. "It was his $25 that really pushed it over" -Paulsego

A dipshit reporter talks about how earthquakes make things shake. How surprising! He continues to explain hoe 7.1 is a lower number than 9.2.

Bernie explains why he hasn't released his earlier tax returns.

Ben explains that Ted Cruz' face is scientifically very punchable.

Some fucker from a game show explains how he hates Trump.

Ben brings up an article explaining why Ted Cruz looks like a evil little rat demon from the lower levels of hell.

Glenn Beck says some shit that no one gives a fuck about.

Ryan Anderson claims that inviting homosexuals to dinner at thanksgiving will help their gayness. "I wasn't allowed in my boyfriend's hospital room as he died and withered away of cancer but god damn this green bean casserole sure is tasty!" -TJ Kirk (satirically)

Hillary Clinton is booed for not releasing a transcript of her speech to Goldman Sachs.

Some moron explains that Stonehenge was built by satanic giants.

**Crazy People**

TJ leaves to avoid the manatee. The manatee never appears.

Black Pigeon says "Him/Her/He/She." He claims that pimozide(an antiphycotic comparable to Haloperidol in strengh) would cure transgender people. This drug is very mentally-numbing, however. He/She has finally figured out that removing people's humanity fixes their identity issues. \*clap... \*clap... \*clap...

Some redneck/hillbilly religious theocrat explains why he's voting for Donald Trump because he's gonna put "da biebel back in da schoo."

**Feminist Slam Poetry**

A feminist
misrepresents the meaning of a resting bitch face in her super-edgy "ode
 to" work of "poetry." She continues on to explain the meaning of shame.
 She begins her "poem" about "mean girls" and "the mouth of a man who
wants to swallow you..."

**Untitled Segment**

The guy who stalks
women with camera's defends himself against signs claiming him to be a
stalker. He argues that he isn't a stalker because he isn't impeding his
 victim's progress.

The show is shut down until the likes go up.

Joseph Martelli makes fun of TJ's fatness.

Derek Savage promotes his gun self-defense for women product. He demonstrates how to use pepper spray against someone with a gun. Even though that would be essentially pointless considering guns are much more effective weapons than pepper spray.

## End of the Show

Ben begs for likes, shares, and attendees for the meet up. He tells everyone to go to soundcloud for the Post Show.

## Post Show

The intro music plays. Ben welcomes you all to the Post Show. They decide to incorporate Ted Cruz' Punchable Face, Black Pigeon's Trans BS, and Joseph Martelli "Owns" TJ into the title. Brett Keane talks about the drunken peasants... again. Scotty laughs. Brett talks about how much of a visionary he thinks himself to be. He continues on a shitty, hypocritical rant about the drunken peasants until the episode ends with Paul summarizing Brett's existence.

## Quotes

"That's not what I want stuffed mother fucker!" -TJ Kirk in a response to Ryan Anderson

"I just have one testicle" -Paulsego in the Post Show (might be satirical)

## Trivia

1. Old intro was used by mistake
2. Ben Cackle Counter: Ben laughed in his signature way 18 times during the show