Stone 66

**Chapter 66**

Only six chapters to go!

Richard is heading back to the Big Stone Witch House when he notices a commotion on the bridge. Pasha is there, distraught, and says she thought he was dead. Some random bystanders fish a body out of the river, which turns out to be Perry in Richard's red coat (I could make a “red shirt” joke here, but I'm too classy for that). There's a small hole in Perry's back, which Richard recognizes as being made by one of the Nuns' death dildos.

Pasha is semi-hysterical, and insists that Richard can't possibly mean what he said about leaving the Big Stone Witch House. Richard states that he meant every word, then heroically storms off, leaving the sobbing woman behind.

Richard goes back to his room and starts packing, and Verna arrives. She says that, having absorbed the power of Nuns #1 and 2, she no has more power than any other Nun at the Big Stone Witch House. She offers to try to get Richard's collar off, although she doubts it will work. She says there will be pain, which Richard finds suspicious until Verna explains that she means it will be painful for her. Long story short, she tries, it doesn't work.

Verna gives Richard a brief infodump on Bad Nuns. Richard says he killed Sue Nun after she tried to steal his magic. Verna says that it's impossible for a woman to take a man's gift, or vice versa. Verna and Richard share information, recapping the last few chapters, and Verna says she'll help Richard however she can. Through a series of deductions I don't feel like recounting, they deduce that either Ulicia or Finella or both must be Bad Nuns, and promptly rush off to save Ann.

Ann's office is a wreck, and they find the corpse of Finella. Ulicia pops up and starts throwing black lightning around, then bails. Richard and Verna decide to let her go, since Richard's a novice and Verna has no Minus Magic. They find Pope Ann, battered but alive, and Verna says she's badly injured. Richard decides that the only person who can save her is Nathan, based on . . . exactly what information, I'm not entirely sure. Verna, who just claimed to have *“more power than any Sister at the palace, any normal Sister,”* stated that she couldn't help Ann . . . oh, right. Male magic > female magic, always. Yay, misogyny. \~/

Richard grabs Ann and they head for Nathan's place. Nathan's guards don't bother trying to stop the guy who's made numerous threats to kill everyone in the place, **carrying the unconscious and bloody body of their leader in his arms, *GOING TO SEE THE MAN WHO IS HELD INCOMMUNICADO BECAUSE HIS WORDS ONCE TRIGGERED A CIVIL WAR.***

\~/\~/\~/

Worst.

Guards.

Ever.

Anyway, Nathan says he'll try to help Ann. Verna asks Richard why he cares so much whether Ann lives or dies, and he says it's because she had a chance to snatch him as an infant, and instead chose to let him grow up with people who loved him. Wow. I . . . I actually agree with that. Amazing.

Richard decides he has to do something, and the best thing to do is . . . talk to the guards. Because he needs to know where the rest of his teachers are, and the guards can find out. Okay, sure. Richard heads out to find some guards (aren't they supposed to be, like, right outside Nathan's chambers?) and suddenly, he's being beaten up. Yes! Get him! Harder!

It turns out to be Jed, pummeling Richard with magic. As Richard tries to regain his senses, Jed pulls out a death dildo; but before he can strike, Verna stabs him in the back with her own death dildo. Satan once again breaks the rules to claim Jed's soul, and I just realized why that keeps happening: if there's a ripple of darkness when you kill someone, that proves they were a Satanist, and killing them was totally justified. Wow, way to remove even the slightest hint of ambiguity or potential doubt. \~/

Verna says she was coming out to *“talk to some of the Sisters. I realized that the more people who know about the Sisters of the Dark, the better.”* Yes, unless the first person or two you speak with happens to be a Bad Nun. Then they kill you.

Richard somehow intuits that Jed was the one Verna loved before she left the Big Stone Witch House to find him, twenty years ago. Verna manages to have no emotional reaction whatsoever to straight-up murdering the man she once loved. \~/

Richard and Verna decide to go talk to the guards and Nuns, respectively, then crash at Nathan's place for a few hours.

We cut to Richard waking up in one of Nathan's rooms.. Nathan says it's too soon to tell if Ann will life, but he's done his best. Richard demands that Nathan tell him how to get through *“the barrier,”* which I presume to mean the mystical “leash” that keeps Richard from going too far from the Big Stone Witch House. After some blather, Nathan says it's a simple matter of shielding the collar, and Verna can do it easily. Richard wants to know how to get through the Valley of the Lost and Found, pointing out that Nathan – a very powerful wizard – made the journey three times: once from D'Hara to Europe, once from Europe to the Westland when Richard was a baby, and the return trip. Nathan says he only passed through the valley on the first trip; he and Ann sailed out to sea and got around the Valley that way.

I thought that wasn't possible. Way back in Chapter 28, Verna indicated that there was no way to go around the Valley at all, period. Huh.

Richard says he's going to save Kahlan no matter what, and the rest of the world be damned.

Now we flash to Richard back in his room, and he's packing . . . again. He dumps the bowl of gold coins into his pack, and we're treated to a mini-speech on the evils of welfare (well, it's about how the wizards at the Big Stone Witch House do not real work because the Nuns provide them with infinite cash, but still . . .).

Suddenly, Pasha bursts into the room. She attacks Richard with magic, flinging him across the room and out onto the balcony. Richard hits his head and starts bleeding, and Pasha screams at him, saying that he's Satan's spawn and that he *“[does] nothing but hurt good people!”* We learn that Ulicia told Pasha that Richard is a Satanist, who killed Sue Nun, Finella and Pope Ann with *“vile magic.*” Pasha then stabbed Perry with her death dildo, thinking he was Richard at the time.

Richard, still dazed, tries to talk sense to Pasha, saying that Ann isn't dead and he can take Pasha to her to prove it. Pasha retorts: *“You wish to kill me, too! That's all you ever talk of – killing!”* And you know, once again I have to agree with Pasha.

Gee, I wonder if, had Richard tried to befriend Pasha instead of his constant stream of RICHARD HAVE NO FRIENDS RICHARD KILL ALL PUNY PEOPLE . . . maybe then she'd be more receptive to him now? Instead, Richard himself has done half of Ulicia's job for her by convincing the one clearheaded person in the Big Stone Witch House that he's a heartless psychopath.

Good job, Richard. \~/

Pasha goes to dildo Richard to death, and Richard somehow drags the sword free to defend himself. Then, suddenly, Pasha goes sailing over the balcony railing and falls to her death, and Richard sees Moley standing at the open door. Exit Pasha.

We're now down to two sympathetic characters, folks: a pre-teen girl and a Designated Jerkass.

Richard, in a brief spurt of competent writing, shields Moley from Pasha's splattered corpse and angsts over Moley killing the woman he loved. He even thinks *“I could have done it, you didn't need to,”* but instead says *“Thank you, Warren. You saved my life.”*

If Richard was like this all the time, instead of all angry and sociopathic, this book would be roughly 1,000% better.

Verna shows up, and Moley heals Richard's head wound. He then asks Verna to take his collar off, and Verna says he'll have to pass a test of pain first. Richard asks *“What do you think he just did?”* Richard recalls how he killed Denna with forgiveness, and how awful that was, and speculates that the *“test of pain”* meant an apprentice wizard choosing the greater good over his own personal desires. I can't say I really see that in Richard killing his jailer and torturer, but okay; sure. Anyway, Richard, Verna and Moley all agree that this makes sense, and Verna takes Moley's collar off.

Richard, Verna and Moley decide to head back to America together. On the way out they encounter a few guards, who conveniently tell Richard that some Random Townsfolk saw six women board a ship, the Lady Sefa, just before it sailed. I guess that was Richard's other six teachers, who were no doubt ALL the Bad Nuns at the Big Stone Witch House.

And with that, our Motley Trio sets off.

Drinks: 7

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