recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
43: The Patriarchy Tree

## Summary

Strahd demands to know where Ireena is, but the party profess their ignorance, so the dread lord makes a show of strength by taking control of Lank and having him attack his comrades. Angered by their lack of cooperation, Strahd leaves, and as a parting gift sends a huge fireball crashing down on them, killing Adrian. The group find the stolen gem in the statue and destroy the nearby Gulthias tree, in which they find a magical battle-axe, before returning to the winery.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Eric (after Greg rolled a 19 to critical hit Batthwack while enthralled to Strahd): *"What is the damage? It's D-whatever plus whatever"* Greg: *"2d6 + 5."* Eric: *"So it's 12 + 5, so 17. And then you roll your 2d6 again."* Greg: *"Did I say '19'? What I meant was... 'I had a heart attack and died.'"*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Eric. The group are discussing how to kill the Gulthias tree. Raphina: *"Hey, let's burn it!"* Batthwack: *"I don't think that's gonna work."* Raphina: *"No?"* Batthwack: *"I mean, you're welcome to try."* Eric tells the group that the tree isn't known to be immune to fire. Batthwack: *"I think we should chop it down and burn the rest."* Raphina points out that this was her idea. *"I feel like it's a very sexist thing where you take what I was saying and take it as your own idea."* KT: *"Wow, this tree looks like a huge wiener all of a sudden. And it's defeating Raphina very easily. Oh man. You should have chosen a male character Abby!"* Eric: *"Raphina remembers that the Gulthias tree is also known as the Patriarchy tree."*

## Episode Sponsor

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This episode was brought to you by **Cardio** and ***Sweating with the Druids***. Keep your heart humming while you summon.

## Gallery

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108: I Take Out My Spoons

## Summary

Ezmerelda is trying to convince the party to confront Strahd without further delay, when the Baron's son Victor hikes past on his way to study the mysteries of the Amber Temple. The temple is supposed to be a great source of power, and Raphina thinks it might even be the true source of this land's curse, so it's decided they should probably accompany Victor there. Even though Victor knows a shortcut, it's still a long hike up into the mountains via the Tsolenka Pass, so they decide to rest up before going anywhere today.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Raphina: *"How many positive Yelp reviews does this pass have? I've got a bad feeling about this."* Lank: *"You have a bad feeling about everything."* Raphina: *"And I'm always right!"* Lank: *"That's hardly relevant."*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Abby/Raphina. When the party spy Victor walking down the road, Will changes his appearance into Victor's father, the Baron. To really sell the disguise, Lank wonders if they'll have to pretend to be his "secret guard" again. Will wants Raphina to play a fanfare or something, suggesting she can use her new magical pipes. *"I'm a baron. I don't have pipes accompanying me everywhere I go?"* he says. Raphina's not sure if the new pipes are safe. Lank: *"You have so many other instruments, you could probably..."* Raphina: *"Alright, I'm gonna take out my ocarina. I take out my spoons."*
* At one point, Lank says (about Victor), *"We go way back. At least a week."* The party met Victor on BV7. It's now BV13, so that's not a bad guess! They introduce him to Ezmerelda, and Alex says they've known her for, *"the better part of two and a half days."* The group met her on the latter part of BV10, so that's also pretty accurate!

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*
72: Bananishment

## Summary

Will is investigating the Abbey's front door, blissfully unaware of the flesh golem furiously attacking his comrades in the east wing. Raphina *Bananishes* the beast (that's *Banishment* with a banana FYI) giving Lank and Batthwack time to explore and find busy little communities of wild mongrelfolk in unlocked cells. Meanwhile Will breezes in through the main door, finding another mongrelfolk chained up in the courtyard and is told by the two mongrelfolk guard from earlier that the Abbot can be found in the west wing.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Add your favourite quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title refers to Raphina's extra special casting of the *Banishment* spell. For the material component of the spell she pulls a banana out of her tinder box, to which Alex says, *"You're going to Bananish it?"* Abby: *"Oh, I totally planned that. No I did not."*
* *"Hey Abbott!"* (from *Robin Hood: Men in Tights*): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVW6cvrRVOk

## Gallery

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Ratracer

Zgadza się, ale możesz nam pomóc i go rozbudować.
Z góry dziękujemy!

**Ratracer** to szczur w kostiumie robota lub ciele z jednym kołem zamiast stóp. Jest jednym z członków Borowych Bandytów. Pomimo swojego imienia bardzo przypomina pancernika.

## Historia

W "Koniec przyjaźni" Ratracer i jej koledzy z drużyny Tiny Toad, Bullmozer i Borsukowaty zaatakowali pozornie bezbronnego podróżnika. Jednak ich zamierzona ofiara okazała się dla nich czymś więcej niż przeciwnikiem, a Ratracer uciekła wraz z Tiny Toad i Bullmozerem, pozostawiając Borsukowatego w tyle.
49: Do You Guys Just Wanna Play Monopoly Instead?

## Summary

Raphina and Nick keep watch, and Will concocts a plan to unmask the killer (and promote himself) by assuming the Baron's identity. While he hides the bodies in the bathroom and cleans away any evidence, Lank and Batthwack explore the rest of the house, finding not only a room conspicuously full of dolls, but also a locked cupboard in which Henrik the coffin maker has been chained up and violently interrogated. With Henrik safely barricaded in the doll room, the party (minus Will) climb up to the attic where white sheets cover everything, looking uncannily like still ghosts.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Raphina: *"You're being unreasonable, young man. I want you to sit down and be quiet."* Will: *"No way!"* Abby: *"Raphina sticks the cloth in his mouth."* Will: *"How'd you get up here so fast?"*
* Batthwack: *"Did Strazni take your eyes?"* Henrik: *"Yes."* Raphina: *"Are you sure? You probably couldn't see."* Henrik: *"I saw him take one..."*
* KT: *"When the servants come up tomorrow, they're gonna be like, 'What the hell is the desk doing in front of this door?'"* Abby: *"My guess is we will be encountering the servants well before then."* Alex: *"My guess is that this entire building will be burned to the ground..."*

## Trivia

* The episode title is a quote from Abby. The party discover a horribly mutilated man chained up in the closet of the burgomaster's mansion. Characters and players alike are disturbed by this turn of events as they try to help him. KT: *"I don't like this game. I'm really sad!"* Abby: *"You guys want to just play Monopoly instead?"* Eric: *"That's the one game that's worse than coming across a man beaten within an inch of his life, and his eyes gouged out."*

## Episode Sponsor

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This episode was brought to you by **Pungent Master** antiperspirant. Keeping those pits dry, while you make your players cry.

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48: I've Been Known To Stealth About

## Summary

Will disguises himself as a servant and ventures into the mansion with Bernard, eventually stumbling across a nasty surprise: both of the baron's pet mastiffs lie dead outside his room. Will smells a rat, and when Raphina and Lank investigate further, they find that both the baron and the baroness have also been murdered. Realising that this may be their only chance, they continue to explore the house looking for the symbol of good, foretold by Madam Eva.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Will (explaining his idea of revealing the killer by assuming the identity of the murdered baron): *"That would have to reveal... Like somebody's gonna be..."* Raphina: *"Oh and they're surprised."* Will: *"Right!"* Abby: *"Ooooh! Light dawns on Marblehead... says Raphina."* Will: *"I don't know who that is. Who is that, Raphina? "* Raphina: *"Light. Dawns. On. Marblehead."* KT: *"Oh, I thought you were saying someone was Don Zon Marblehead!"* Greg: *"Yeah, that's exactly what I thought too."* KT: *"Strahd von Zarovich. Don Zon Marblehead. Can you please have a character named Don Zon Marblehead?"* Greg: *"Now you I've heard of."* Eric: *"Legendary Marblehead!"*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Abby. Will finds two dead dogs in the mansion and rushes back outside to get the others. They then discuss which of them should go back inside to check it out. Lank puts himself forward. Raphina: *"Do you want us to come with you?"* Lank: *"Are you stealthy?"* Raphina: *"I feel like a just had this conversation!"* Lank: *"And I forget the answer. I was busy setting up the croquet."* Abby then remembers that her character sheet has an actual number for Raphina's stealth skill. Abby: *"I have a plus three!"* Eric: *"Says Raphina."* Abby: *"Raphina says, I've been known to stealth about."* Lank: *"Alright, well we'll go in and hopefully if anyone hears us, they won't think to look down."*

## Episode Sponsor

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This episode was brought to you by **yummypancake**, maker of amazing, gloriously nerdy dice pouches, crocheted ornaments, plushies and way more! A real-life small business, run by Denise, who some years later actually joined the PFD crew to play the small-business-owning dragonborn Gwen!

## Gallery

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Alchemy Jug

The ***Alchemy Jug*** (a.k.a ***Jar of Many Things***) was a magical jug that had a variety of spouts, each of which produced a different substance when poured from.

## Description

* 51: Thanks, and Ew.: "You [Lank] find something that looks very odd. It is also ceramic. It's a jug, but it's odd because it actually holds something in it. But rather than have a cork in the top, it has 10 different spouts, all stoppered up with a big fat, flat cork, evenly spaced all around it. It's circular. And each cork has, etched in it, a different symbol. [...] It weighs a little over 10 pounds. You're looking at some of the symbols. One of them has a bee on it. A honeybee. One of them has a classic water drop, teardrop symbol. One of them has the symbol of waves. One of them has a clump of grapes, so on and so forth, but each one is different. [...] They're evenly spaced so that if you set it down on one of the corks, one is at the top, so they're across from each other."
* 67: You Can Smell As Many Holes As You Want: "They're simple line drawings carved lightly into these large flat corks. There is a bee which you know. There is an egg. There is a skull. There is a what looks like a puddle with wavy lines coming up from it. There is an olive, an apple, a teardrop, waves, a bunch of grapes, and [...] a bunch of hops."

## Powers

* 51: Thanks, and Ew.: "You pull out bee cork. Comes out, just a little effort. It's well fitted so it sticks in there. [...] Out of the jug starts to pour honey. [...] It does pour out quite a lot, but if you just keep pouring it, eventually after a little while... looks like there's maybe about [...] a gallon or so... it stops pouring out."
* 67: You Can Smell As Many Holes As You Want: Lank: "I will uncork the egg." [...] Eric: "Out comes this rather thick, viscous substance. It is an off white. Starts oozing out of the jug onto the ground. [...] Batthwack and Lank, upon close inspection, you are able to identify this as mayonnaise." / "You uncork skull. A clear liquid pours out very briefly. And stops. About a half an ounce. There's no more of it. [...] There's no smell to it. It looks to be, upon all inspection, your best guess is water." / Lank: "Let's try the puddle with wavy lines next." Eric: "You start pouring that. It is a fluid with the same viscosity as water. Pours out. It is bright green and it is steaming. [...] It smells very, very, very astringent. Like smelling ammonia." / "Smell the grapes, smells like wine." / Eric (Batthwack smells the hops cork): "It smells like beer." / "You said the olive? It does smell like olive oil." / Greg: "Apple. I'm thinking maybe a cider." Eric: "Smells like vinegar." KT/Greg: "Apple cider vinegar!" / Greg: "What does the waves smell like?" Eric: "Smells like saltwater." / Greg: "What does the tear smell like?" Eric: "Nothing. [...] Pours out, looks like water."

## *Alchemy Jug* Facts!

To be compiled into the article at some point...

...

* 279: Miracle Whip It Good: Rosco and Raphina throw their beloved possessions: Rosco the dog and the *Alchemy Jug* which, following Raphina's cry of *"Mayonnaise!"*, is now brimming with mayonnaise.
46: Dent Biscuits

## Summary

The party tolerate a sumptuous feast of cold beet soup, salad with beet dressing, and wolf steaks while the baron explains that he wants them to join his force of town guard. Will becomes suspicious that Izek hasn't been telling the baron everything he knows and suggests they help out as independents, but the baron insists they would be under Izek's command. Just as the baron's signature dessert of "dent biscuits" is being served, the baron's wife surreptitiously hands a note to Lank, which says that this is a "house of corruption" and that she fears for her life.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* The baron: *"But also to, perhaps, extend to you an offer, if you will. Some sort of... offer, because that's the only word I can think of right now!"* Greg: *"In Vallaki we are known for our terribly thin thesauri."* Eric: *"We call those 'Other Word Books'"*
* Eric: *"The servant comes out of the room. He's carrying this huge bowl, and he plonks it down in front of you Batthwack, and it's full of salad."* Alex: *"I'm gonna just start wolfing it down."* Abby: *"Wocka wocka!"* *"Oh! Whoops, sorry."* Eric: *"While everyone else is pecan-ing their steaks down."* Alex: *"No, they're beet-ing their steaks."*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes the name given to the baron's special dessert served to the party at dinner. Eric describes them: *"They're some sort of baked good. They're round biscuits but they have dents throughout them. They're kind of dimpled."* The players are super intrigued by this. The baron explains, *"They're served piping hot, and there on the side you can see a nice little carafe of sugared tree syrup for you to pour over the top."* KT: *"Oh, WAFFLES!!"*

## Episode Sponsor

*Main article: The Adverts of Pork Fried Dice*
This episode was brought to you by the **Barovian Centre for Disease and Hex Prevention** and the **Davian's Avian and Wereravian Flu Vaccine**. Let us shoot you with a crossbow for the sake of your health.

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60: ...And We're All Tied To The Bear

## Summary

Forgotten memories flood Ireena's brain and she recounts how Izek and her were separated as children following a wolf attack that cost Izek his arm. The party are still highly distrustful of Izek, so before he comes round they tie him up (and sit a bear on him), but Ireena insists they set him free. The pair embrace, and for a moment it's a heart-warming reunion of long-lost siblings, but when Izek begins passionately kissing Ireena, it becomes clear that his love for her is far from platonic.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Add your favourite quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title is a quote from Alex. The group were trying to tie up Izek before Nick's *Sleep* spell wore off. Lank rolled badly on his dexterity check. Nick tried to help and rolled badly. Then Batthwack also jumped in to help and rolled badly too. Thinking on his feet, Will turned Bernard into a bear and got him to sit on Izek to buy them some more time, but then they realised that it's going to be impossible to tie up Izek now. Lank: *"We'll just tie the bear to him."* Alex: *"Three more dexterity rolls later and we're all tied to the bear."*

## Episode Sponsor

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This episode was dedicated to the memory of **Jerry Jenkins**, public relations manager for Goodyear's airship operations at the Pompano Beach Air Park.

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113: We Only Heard Lard

## Summary

A very quick and broad summary of events in this episode will go here. Eventually.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Add your favourite quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title refers to something Abby said. After Nick takes out the creature shooting fireballs at them from the statue, Lank and Batthwack are discussing next steps. Batthwack feels inclined to explore the temple, and casts *Detect Magic* to allay Lank's fears. Eric finishes describing the results. *"The head of the statue is pulsating with magical energy. You suspect that maybe there's a field of magical darkness that obscures what's up there, which is why you couldn't see Nick before, and why you couldn't really see much up there. And I think that's about it within 30 feet."* There's a long pause... Abby: *"He's talking again."* Alex: *"... lard."* Abby: *"All we heard was 'lard'."*

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74: Stitching a Rabbit to a Turnip

## Summary

Over rabbit and turnip soup, the Abbot explains how many years earlier, his attempts in good faith to help a family of deformed lepers were corrupted by Strahd and resulted in the mongrelfolk. Perceiving that Strahd's affliction, and by extension Barovia's curse, was caused by his lost love so many years before, the Abbot became convinced that the curse could be lifted by constructing Strahd a new bride: Vasilka. When the Abbot learns that Strahd is trying to wed Ireena, he becomes very insistent that despite her objection, she must do the right thing and join Strahd.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Lank (as the group ponder whether to reveal that they killed the Abbot's flesh golem): *"Are you aware of any large creatures living in your building?"* Raphina: *"And are you emotionally attached to them?"*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Alex/Batthwack! The Abbot serves up rabbit and turnip stew, something he says he's been "developing", which is an odd turn of phrase. Remembering the Abbot's penchant for creating human animal hybrids, the mongrelfolk, Alex/Batthwack asks *"Do you make it first by stitching a rabbit to a turnip?"*
* Double-stitched pants from *The Hudsucker Proxy* (1994): https://youtu.be/pbmU2wMnuI4

## Gallery

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Beartoggle Zoo

**Beartoggle Zoo** was located in Beartoggle city.

## Episode Appearances

* 245: Meesa Mo: The dock worker says he'll happily look after the party's lizards as long as they need. Raphina thanks him for doing this even though it's not his job. Will jokes "You're the official Beartoggle zookeeper" but the worker points out that the zookeepers will be at the zoo.
* 246: A Pompion's Guide to Six Rivers: From the top of the dam, overlooking Beartoggle, the group can see residential districts, what look like marketplaces, temples, edifices of various sizes, a memorial garden, a complex that could be a university, and even what appears to be a zoo.

## Quotes

Any memorable quotes about this location.

## Gallery

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68: Peaked Moops

## Summary

The burgomaster of Krezk is summoned and the party blag their way inside the village, pretending to be blessed by the Morninglord. Once safely inside the walls, they learn a little about the Abbey and it's mysterious Abbot, and then decide they should rest up before venturing inside. At the burgomaster's cottage they meet his wife Anna and hear that all their children have sadly died.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Add your favourite quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title is a quote from Eric. *"As you go up the road, the air grows colder as you approach the walled settlement. Two square towers with peaked roop... roofs! Roops! Sorry the card says 'roops'."* This is followed with *"Two square towers with peaked pouffes... peaked moops flank a stone... with peaked top parts flank a stone archway..."*
* https://lemonzesty.com/
* Seinfeld: *"I'm sorry, the card says 'Moops'!"*: https://youtu.be/f0uYJjDHeDU

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73: It's Either a Spell or an Auction House

## Summary

The flesh golem returns from it's *Bananishment* and is eventually undone (literally) by Raphina's *Sacred Flame*. While Will goes into the main hall and meets the Abbot, the others investigate the madhouse cells a little further, in particular a strange cracked mirror where Lank had earlier seen a malicious eye peering at him, but now thankfully/frustratingly all is back to normal. They regroup with Will and discover yet another mongrelfolk down at the bottom of the well, and then the Abbot invites them all to join him for soup.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Add your favourite quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title is a quote from Greg. Having destroyed the freaky flesh monster, Lank tells the others about the odd groups of mongrelfolk he discovered earlier, including one where they were apparently incanting a spell of some sort. Greg: *"Lank opens the door again."* Eric starts up the nonsensical gibberish that the mongrelfolk are spouting. Lank: *"Yep. They're still at it. It's either a spell or it's an auction house!"*
* Capri-Sun commercial from the 90s! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zcr6TMOGe0
* Helping Hands (from *Labyrinth*): https://youtu.be/o3aW-MsIc1I?si=XFYmb39pDVUzSJoE
* Greg/Lank says *"Is Raphina still saying she doesn't believe me?! We have known each other now for, what? A whole week? Time for the barriers to come down, you know. Seriously, what's it been? 72 hours?"* He's actually spot on with his first guess. The party met Raphina on BV3 and it's now BV10, so they have known each other for precisely 7 days (even though in real-world episode release time it's been over a year)!

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16: How's the Sentence Happening?

## Summary

While they wait for Kolyan's burial, which is to take place at dawn, the group decide to check in on the parents who tried to exchange their son for dream pastries. On the way, a stranger accuses Lank of running around the village naked the previous night, which he denies, but is troubled by a sense that he remembers it happening, even though he doesn't. At the dream pastry boy's house, the party discover evidence that his parents are cultists. Afterwards, Will attempts to devalue the old lady's dream pastries by giving them away, but things get out of control and a villager is killed.

## Synopsis

A more detailed description of events in this episode.

## Quotes

* Greg/Lank tries to recall Donavich's prayer to the Morninglord from the previous episode: *"Oh bright, shiny saviour person, wash my kid with the light of the sun so that he stops being a dick."*

## Trivia

* The episode title is a quote from KT. During the game they were generally suffering from a case of brain fog, and when Will jokingly suggested they *"go collect all the children in Barovia and start our own children army,"* Jose cracked a joke about this being the *"Will Youth"* (a reference to the Hitler Youth). Unfortunately KT completely missed it, saying, *"I'm not following anything tonight. So don't expect me... just rely on other people... I'm like 'What? How's the sentence happening?"* Eric: *"That's like a prison greeting. How's the sentence happening?!"*
* This episode featured the first use of the "sad trombone" sound effect played by Eric to celebrate the roll of a natural 1, AND the "happy harp" sound effect for a natural 20.

## Episode Sponsor

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This episode was brought to you by **Mist-Town**, the podcast from Pork Fried Dice and This Barovian Life. And do check out *Shittown* at https://stownpodcast.org/ ... As KT said, *"Give it a listen. It's freaking awesome."*

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39: John Quincy Brown

## Summary

The party defeat the druids in a ferocious battle, and make quite a mess of the wine cellar, before turning their attentions to one unnaturally cold wall. Bernard locates a secret door and a dark corridor filled with a dangerous brown mold, and then they continue on to explore the glassblower's workshop. Inside a barrel of sand, the group find the *Tome of Strahd*, which reveals not only Strahd's tragic backstory, but also that there exists a sword that he fears "as much as the sun".

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Alex: *"For all our listeners out there, you can drink dry ice no problem."* KT (sings): *"Scientific facts from a guy named Batthwack!"* Abby (also sings): *"Pork Fried Dice gets sued!"* Alex: *"Do not drink dry ice. Don't even pour it on your hand. But you can."*
* Eric: *"And your minds turn to different ways you might use this information. You feel within you something grow stronger, as you feel your level increase by one."* Greg: *"Read it again!"*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Abby. Much to Eric's surprise, the party become immediately interested in trying to collect some of the highly dangerous brown mold that they discover in the cellar. While Greg and Alex scour their character sheets for items fit to store mold in, Abby says, *"I will tell you some facts about brown mold. It's not just that it's the color brown. It's named after John Quincy Brown..."* Alex: *"John Wilkes Brown!"* Abby: *"...who died while smoking a cigar near someone and petting it lovingly. And that is how we know."*

## Episode Sponsor

*Main article: The Adverts of Pork Fried Dice*
This episode was brought to you by the **Hurl Scouts of Barovia.** Keep an eye out for all of our cheerless, sallow-skinned, empty-eyed kiddos as they make their way to your front door!

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53: You've Gotta Snort It!

* 52: A Holy-Holly-Jolly Pork Fried Dice Special (Christmas Special)

## Summary

Will develops his theory that Lady Fiona Wachter may be behind the murders, as he and Batthwack spend the night at the mansion. That night, Lank suddenly finds himself walking through Vallaki with no control over his body, before unwillingly attacking Izek and then suddenly waking up back at the inn. This was no dream however, as he discovers upon returning to the site of the encounter the following morning, where he also meets some less than friendly town guards.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Add your favourite quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title is quote from Raphina. She, Lank and Nick are investigating Ireena's strange new black arm. Raphina is strangely insistent that Nick lick it, but he, ever the gentleman, declines to do so, saying, *"I don't think it's right to to place one's tongue upon a woman without first getting her consent."* Greg: *"And there's the only reason."* Raphina then suggests he sniff it instead. Eric: *"He swaggers over to the arm. And he slowly, hesitantly bends down and he gives just the briefest of sniffs, and then he backs away."* Raphina: *"You've gotta snort it!"* Eric: *"He pulls out a $1 bill, rolls it up."*

## Episode Sponsor

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This episode was brought to you by the **Barovian Construction Company**. Turn your nightmares into reality.

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Kevin

**Kevin** jest jeżozwierzem, mieszkańcem Doliny Czystego Serca.

## Wygląd zewnętrzny

Kevin to młody jeżozwierz o krępym ciele i krótkich rękach i nogach. Ma czarne okrągłe oczy i jest uzębiony. Nosi niebieskie pulowerowe spodnie z jasnopomarańczowymi guzikami i kieszenią. Nie ma też palców.

## Osobowość

Kevin jest nieśmiałym małym chłopcem, który wydaje się być bardzo wrażliwy, ponieważ często widzi się go płaczącego. Zwykle jest przedstawiany jako ofiara okoliczności, na przykład kiedy został aresztowany w "Przykry zapach prawdy", ponieważ nie wiedział, że zbieranie kwiatów w parku jest nielegalne, lub gdy Borsukowaty obraził jego matkę w "Dzień zamiany".

## Ukazany w odcinkach

* **"Kocham cię, Mao Mao" (debiut)**
* "Ultra-Borsukowaty"
* "Koniec przyjaźni"
* "Chytry jak lis"
* "Zemsta Bao Bao"
* "Mao Mao jest chory"
* "Pojedynek kciuków"
* "Królewski szeryf"
* "Bobo"
* "Legenda o Torbaklonie"
* "Poznajcie Tanyę Keys"
* "Przykry zapach prawdy"
* "Dzień zamiany"
* "Odlot"
* "Postaraj się"
* "Idealna para"
* "Królowa docinków"

## Ciekawostki

* Kevin nie toleruje laktozy, jak ujawniono w "Legenda o Torbaklonie".
	+ Mimo to widziano go pijącego mleko czekoladowe w "Dzień zamiany".
* Również w "Legenda o Torbaklonie" Kevin stwierdza, że ​​ma 5 lat, co czyni go w tym samym wieku co Nietoperka.
* Co ciekawe, Różek, Penny i Benny byli również widziani podczas zbierania kwiatów w "Przykry zapach prawdy", ale tylko Kevin został aresztowany.
	+ Jest pierwszym dzieckiem w dolinie, które zostało zarejestrowane w rejestrze karnym z wyżej wymienionego powodu.
* Parker Simmons ujawnił, że Kevin jest bratem Chestera Nutza.

## Źródła

1. ↑ https://twitter.com/parkerrsimmons/status/1252621738896048128
24: What Is the Airspeed Velocity of a Barrel-Laden Raven?

## Summary

The party investigate the ancient stone circle, finding that the stones are different temperatures, and that Goran's barrel becomes oddly heavy if moved inside the circle. They don't want to leave their comrade behind, so Lank offers to carry the barrel and they set off for Vallaki, where the town guard at the gates are extremely frosty. Ireena tells them she's the daughter of Barovia Village's burgomaster and vouches for the rest of the party, and once inside they encounter a beggar called Galdar, who they employ as their town guide.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Eric: *"And you have entered the town of Vallaki."* KT: *"Finally!"* Alex: *"Burn it down!"* Greg: *"No offence folks, it's just sort of what we do."*

## Trivia

* The episode title is a quote from Eric. The party are discussing whether or not to bring Goran's barrel with them. Eric/Nick: *"I don't know how well they'll take to us carrying around this giant barrel filled with this creepy looking black liquid, that they might know what it is and we don't."* Will: *"Yeah let's not do that."* Lank: *"If they know what it is, they might know how to fix it."* Nick: *"Yeah or they might try to kill us on sight."* Lank: *"I'm willing to carry it."* Raphina: *"Or we could have the raven... we could attach to the raven and the raven could just go along..."* Eric: *"What is... the airspeed velocity of a barrel-laden raven?"*

## Episode Sponsor

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This episode was brought to you by the **Friends Cantrip**, because Oh. My. Morninglord.

## Gallery

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Kwatera Główna Szeryfa

**Kwatera Główna Szeryfa**, położona w Dolinie Czystego Serca, jest siedzibą Departamentu Szeryfa Królestwa Czystego Serca i służy jako miejsce zamieszkania dla jej członków.

## Opis

Ten konkretny dom znajduje się daleko poza Królestwem Czystego Serca, w pobliżu terenów górskich i leśnych. Posiada młyn wodny i pawilon/taras.

### Salon

W salonie znajduje się łososiowa sofa z kilkoma poduszkami, długi prostokątny stolik kawowy przed sofą oraz taboret z lampą i fotografią po lewej stronie sofy. Za nim znajduje się alarm potworowy obok rośliny ze światłami. Ten pokój ma również telewizor z przodu.

### Kuchnia

W kuchni znajduje się stół, kuchenka mikrofalowa i lodówka.

### Sypialnia

Główną cechą sypialni jest 3-poziomowe łóżko piętrowe. Mao Mao obecnie śpi na dolnej pryczy, Nietoperka śpi do góry nogami na środkowej pryczy, a Borsukowaty obecnie śpi na górnej pryczy. Przed wydarzeniami z "Ultra-Borsukowaty" Mao Mao spał na górnej pryczy, podczas gdy Borsukowaty spał na dolnej pryczy.

### Łazienka

W łazience wszędzie są świece, a także prysznic-wanna i kuweta.

## Ukazane w odcinku

* **"Żadnych dróg na skróty" (debiut)**
* "Ultra-Borsukowaty"
* "Zaginiony aerocykl"
* "Koniec przyjaźni"
* "Niebezpieczny przyjaciel"
* "Chytry jak lis"
* "Zemsta Bao Bao"
* "Mao Mao jest chory"
* "Pojedynek kciuków"
* "Bez niczyjej pomocy"
* "Królewski szeryf"
* "Bobo"
* "Mały"
* "Doborowa broń"
* "Przykry zapach prawdy"
* "Dzień zamiany"
* "Mistrz kucharzy"
* "Początki Kobrangutana"
* "Gorączka słodkiej jagody"
* "Uprowadzony Borsuk"
* "Odlot"
* "Peruka"
* "Sofa modułowa"
* "Szaty Mao Mao"
* "Kubek ze szczęśliwą kaczusią"
* "Samotny"
* "Lęk przed kukiełkami"
* "Idealna para"
* "Tata Nietoperki"
* "Borsuko-eksplozja"
80: Strahd Smokestack

## Summary

Strahd demands Ireena join him and a fight breaks out, but the party's attacks seem to do very little damage to the vampire and he counters everything. Their spells are ineffective too, but when Batthwack brandishes the holy symbol, Strahd's mood changes and he grabs Raphina and begins making off with her. Ireena offers to give herself up, saying that there's no use fighting the inevitable any longer, but when Strahd takes her hand, she erupts into a pillar of white hot fire and he is forced to transform into mist and escape, vowing to exact his revenge on the party for corrupting his one true love. Ireena explains her realisation that she is in fact Tatyana's reborn soul and that she and Sergei are now finally able to reunite. She makes her way into the water and vanishes beneath the waves.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Eric: *"He leans down and he punches his teeth into your neck, Raphina."* Raphina: *"Pippa! What do I do?!"* Pippa: *"I don't know?! Fuckin' run! Get the fuck away from him!"*
* KT (when Eric reveals that Ireena's clothes have burned away): *"How come Strahd's didn't? That's ridiculous."* Greg: *"He's a mist!"* KT: *"He said his clothes* and *his body turned into mist. His clothes should have been burned away too. That's sexist. 'Ooh the* lady *loses her clothes!'"* Eric: *"Nick pulls down his pants just to make things equal."* Greg: *"Lank does too, but equality has nothing to do with it."*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Greg. Strahd is floating away as a cloud of mist, shouting angrily at the party. Eric asks the group if they have anything they wish to do. KT wonders about one of Will's spells: *"I have* Magic Circle *that I can hold undead inside. But the other thing about* Magic Circle *is that it's a fucking cylinder. And I don't think it is has a top, it's not a dome..."* Greg <laughs>: *"It's a Strahd smokestack!"*

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*
54: Lay On Crotch

## Summary

Following Galdar's announcement of the Baron's death, the party rushes straight over to his home where a lady with white hair announces the Baron's murder to a crowd assembled outside. This seems to point the finger of blame firmly at her, so Will, disguised as the Baron, emerges to give her a surprise. The lady claims that Izek planned to murder the Baron, and on the spur of the moment Will explains that the rest of the group are his secret guard, and insists that she come inside for questioning.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Eric: *"There's a time and a place for the taste of shrimp. And it is not while licking someone's arm."*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Eric. Having just heard that Izek has been accused of planning to overthrow and kill the Baron, the party wonder if they should help him, as it would hurt the real murderer's plan. *"But what about the frickin arm?"* asks Abby, remembering Ireena's recent development. *"Is he trying to heal her? Is he actually a good guy?"* Everyone's minds are blown. KT goes further and suggests Izek may have actually humped Ireena's arm, causing her new mini black one to grow. Greg: *"Still it's possible that he was humping her as a Good Samaritan would hump."* Eric: *"He was casting* Lay on Crotch*."*

## Episode Sponsor

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This episode was brought to you by **Bows and Arrows**. Because swords might be cool, but enemies are gross.

## Gallery

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91: This is My Naturally Stealthy Hair

## Summary

Lank races towards Argynvostholt on Steedback, but the journey is cut short when Nick wakes up and kills Steed, before ultimately being subdued again. Meanwhile, back at the tower, Frederick accidentally sets off the door's runes and a loud screech heralds the arrival of a terrifying blue dragon. Ezmerelda runs for the safety of a wagon she has hidden in the bushes, followed swiftly by Will and Raphina, but before Batthwack follows them, he drags the dragon skull outside to present it to the beast.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* KT: *"Nobody can kill Batthwack. Batthwack is eternal."*
* Listeners from the future, this episode was the first mention of Batthwack's cloaca! Alex: *"Does the dragon see me?"* KT: *"Do a seductive dance. You're a dragon too... 'Hey, see me!'"* Eric: *"Reveal your cloaca to the dragon."*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Abby/Raphina. The party hear a terrifying screech outside the tower and the sound of flapping wings. They begin to make their way outside to find the source. Abby: *"When I go outside, I am looking for a place to hide because of the scream. I'm naturally stealthy, by the way. This is my naturally stealthy hair."*
* Soapy Smith and the Tivoli club: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soapy\_Smith
* Soupy Sales: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soupy\_Sales

## Recap

*Main article: The Music of Pork Fried Dice*
This episode featured Eric doing a recap in the form of a parody of the villanelle poem, *Do not go gentle into that good night* by Dylan Thomas.

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*
Arasek Stockyard

**Arasek Stockyard** was a location on the eastern side of Vallaki near the gates. It was the site of Rictavio's colorful wagon.

## Arasek Stockyard Facts!

To be compiled into the article at some point...

* 24: What Is the Airspeed Velocity of a Barrel-Laden Raven?: "Somewhat near the gate, a little ways off, up on the left, leading off of the road, there's a gate leading to what looks like a stock yard. And above it, it says 'Arasek Stockyard', off to the left." / Galdar: "People store stuff there. They sell some stuff, too. There was this fancy, colourful wagon in there, rolled into town a little while ago. The guy owns that, he's staying at the Blue Water. He's got pointy ears. Been keeping it there."

## Quotes

Any memorable quotes about this location.

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*
22: Aren't We a Little Old to Be Put in Child Pies?

## Summary

Batthwack makes a valiant last stand, but is also knocked unconscious and the group awaken to find themselves incarcerated on the 3rd floor. They manage to untie themselves, and Bernard, who escaped capture and turned into a raven, reveals that the old lady has left, leaving only one young hag behind. Somewhere below them, Ireena lets out a gut-wrenching scream, so Raphina leads the hag outside with a booming voice and Batthwack leaps down and kills her. They discover that Ireena's arm has been brutally cut off, but before exacting their revenge, the group search the windmill and in the attic find the holy symbol predicted by Madam Eva's fortune telling, a *Ring of Swimming* and an *Immovable Rod*.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Add your favourite quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Greg. When the party wake up and finds themselves tied up inside the windmill, Alex has a bad feeling about it. *"I just think we're about to become some kind of food,"* he says. Greg: *"Aren't we a little old to be put in child pies?"* Abby: *"It's a seasonal offering."* Greg: *"Old child pies!"*

## Episode Sponsor

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This episode was brought to you by the **Funeral Home of Vallaki**. Don't settle for less. And don't touch the wolfsbane.

## Gallery

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9: People Hang Out With Monsters?

## Summary

The party continue to explore the dungeon, following the sound of the chanting to a ritual chamber. A portcullis traps the party as ghosts appear demanding a sacrifice with chants of *"One must die!"* The group push over the alter in an act of defiance, prompting the ghosts to summon Lorghoth the shambling mound to attack!

## Synopsis

A more detailed description of events in this episode.

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes KT. While the party are discussing how to find the monster, Will is arguing that going away from the chanting death cultists would be a wise move. Nick says *"You don't think they're around the monster? Like, they're with the monster?"* Will: *"WHAT?!!"* KT: *"Obviously, everything here is out of Will's domain."* Eric: *"He's like, 'What? They could be with the monster?!'"* Will: *"People hang out with monsters??"*

## Episode Sponsor

*Main article: The Adverts of Pork Fried Dice*
This episode was brought to you by: **Knowledge** - a bold new set by Oghma. I smell like a temple: old stones and old men.

## Gallery

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Beartoggle Airship Tower

**Beartoggle Airship Tower** was the airfield and docking tower used by commercial airships on their flights to or from the city. It was burned down by the Sooty Gang.

## Description

The tower was apparently similar in design to the Barovia Valley Airship Tower, but this was not clarified.

The tower stood in the centre of a large grass airfield: a flat, open, featureless expanse. All that remained of the tower itself when the group arrived were burned ruins. The platform at the top of the tower was completely missing and there was scattered debris around the base.

Signs had been posted warning people that it was unsafe to climb the tower and the bottom of the stairs had been roped off to block access.

## Episode Appearances

* 246: A Pompion's Guide to Six Rivers: The group spot the airship tower from the top of the Toggle Dam as they overlook the city.
* 254: I'll Hug Them Until They Enroll: The party arrive at the tower, and look for signs of the Sooty Gang's involvement in its destruction.

## Quotes

Any memorable quotes about this location.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 254: I'll Hug Them Until They Enroll
37: You Could Bounce Keys Off That Ass

## Summary

Continuing their exploration, Lank finds a key and a chest, which Will covets but cannot steal, because the other party members are a little too suspicious and paying too much attention to him. They discover a druid in a winch room and kill him before breaking his staff, causing unholy screams to ring out all around them. In a large fermentation room they catch a druid in the act of contaminating the wine with an unknown substance, and kill them too.

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Add your favourite quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title is a quote from Eric. Will is trying to subtley deposit the key to the chest (that he stole) into Lank's pocket, and a discussion about whether Lank actually has any pockets ensues. Eric: *"Lank is only wearing a speedo so you can drop it right in the front."* KT: *"Can I drop it into his beard like he lost it in there?"* Greg: *"You can try to get it into the pocket of my cut-offs, but I'm warning you, they are a little tight around the ass."* Eric: *"You could bounce keys off that ass."* Greg: *"I'm actually kinda surprised that a key hasn't already made its way into my ass pockets because I got buns of steel and they are magnetic!"*

## Episode Sponsor

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This episode was brought to you by the **Chill Touch** spell. One touch and you're super chill, bra.

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86: I'll Permit Steed to Stink

## Summary

The party recall a branch off the main road they'd passed a few days earlier, where statues of dragon heads sat atop pillars, but before checking that out it's agreed they should take Nat back to Vallaki via the tower that Ezmerelda had told them about, a promising place to shelter from the rain and spend the night. Ezmerelda unlocks the magically sealed door and they ascend to the 4th floor via a platform on chains, where everyone settles down for a good night's rest. However, their peaceful slumber is interrupted when Lank suffers another bout of sleepwalking and grabs Batthwack's holy symbol, just as Nat leaps on top of Nick and bites his neck!

## Synopsis

This is where a more detailed description of events in this episode will go... when someone writes it.

## Quotes

* Add your favourite quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Alex. When the party arrive at the tower they're completely soaked through from the rain. Ezmerelda lets them in and Batthwack insists on bringing Steed inside too. Will's not impressed, *"Holy crap. It smells like wet horse in here."* KT and Eric joke about how Will uses *Prestidigitation* to make the smell worse for Batthwack only. Alex takes issue with the idea that Steed would have any kind of smell: *"But... he's a spirit horse!"* KT: *"He smells like wet horse! It was spirit rain!"* Alex: *"Alright fine. I'll permit Steed to stink."*
* The "How Many Licks" Tootsie Pop commercial from 1982: https://youtu.be/5ZtbCOpx8Sk
* The INCREDIBLE music video for *Upside Down & Inside Out* by OK Go (as referenced by Alex in the postscript): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWGJA9i18Co

## Gallery

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