Bonus Content: The Milkmaid

A song about lust, theft and dairy products.

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## Lyrics

Oh, when I was in Wainwall

A milkmaid there I found

With Wendish eyes so bright and blue

And wheels of cheese so round

She was pretty, She was willing

She got on her knees

And I reached over that milkmaid’s head

And stole away her cheese

Oh, the kisses may come, and the kisses may go

There always time for sleaze

But when the milkmaid turns her back

Be sure sure to steal the cheese

I knew a fine Meadmerish lad

Who wore a pretty frown

He had as well a fine fur cap

Perched on his furrowed brow

Now Meadmere is quite chilly

He swore to keep me warm

But when he woke, he got a shock

Both cap and I were gone

Oh, the kisses may come, and the kisses may go

There always time for sleaze

But when the milkmaid turns her back

Be sure sure to steal the cheese

A pretty Drynese scholar

Was always one to swallow

Fine words from leather bound books

Down in her library hollow

The beauty of her body

Was outshone by her smile

And by her thick red volumes

When I stole the bloody pile

Oh, the kisses may come, and the kisses may go

There always time for sleaze

But when the milkmaid turns her back

Be sure sure to steal the cheese

A Tryrion Archbishop

A handsome man of cloth

His voice was filled with passions

Both in loving and in wroth

I got down on my knees

I worked upon his lock

And I can hear his fervent cry

“Where’s the collection box?”

Oh, the kisses may come, and the kisses may go

There always time for sleaze

But when the milkmaid turns her back

Be sure sure to steal the cheese

I knew a Suulish lady

With beauty, grace and style

Who once taught me a special trick

That always made her smile

But courtly love is patient

And I can get quite bored

And in the chase, things heated up

I stole the family sword

Oh, the kisses may come, and the kisses may go

There always time for sleaze

But when the milkmaid turns her back

Be sure sure to steal the cheese

Now those who trade with merchants

Know nothing comes for free

And my Ferosan paramour

In price he shafted me

But I think I recouped the cost

I spent upon his loins

When I fingered his silken purse

And lifted all his coin

Oh, the kisses may come, and the kisses may go

There always time for sleaze

But when the milkmaid turns her back

Be sure sure to steal the cheese

My next romantic pleasure

From some may earn me scorn

For tired of continentals

I seduced a Dragonborn

Her scales were course and grinding

She left me rather sore

But I think it was worth the cost

I made off with her hoard

Oh, the kisses may come, and the kisses may go

There always time for sleaze

But when the milkmaid turns her back

Be sure sure to steal the cheese

I met a well-fed Halfling

Who owned a restaurant

He shared some family recipes

While I got what I want

I polished off his six course meal

And polished him off too

Then I cleared out the petty cash

And nicked the candles too

Oh, the kisses may come, and the kisses may go

There always time for sleaze

But when the milkmaid turns her back

Be sure sure to steal the cheese

I knew an Orcish pirate

With quite a pleasant musk

You haven’t lived until

You’ve felt what they can do with tusks

When cleaning out his musket

I lent a helping hand

I stole the gun, the ship as well

And left him on dry land

Oh, the kisses may come, and the kisses may go

There always time for sleaze

But when the milkmaid turns her back

Be sure sure to steal the cheese

Minstrels love our comforts

A drink, a song and wealth

But other bards can prove

To be a hazard to your health

She was pretty, she was skillful

She brought me to my knees

And when back was turned, of course

She made off with my cheese

Oh, the kisses may come, and the kisses may go

There always time for sleaze

But when the milkmaid turns her back

Be sure sure to steal the cheese