Josh

*This is about the cybernetic paladin from Pre-Scratch. For the highschooler with Stand, see Josh Raiden*

> "*I killed the secret Nazis with my secret bullets. Now fuck off and let me pee.*"
> ― Josh on his exploits
>
>

## Josh

### Aliases

Machine Paladin, J. O. S. H. (Justice Operative Sentient Harrier), J.O.S.H. (Jaguars Over South Hampton)-Jason

### Relatives

Trevor - Father,Anthony - Brother,Marissa - Daughter/Wife,Quill - Son

## Physical description

### Gender

Male

Josh is a technological marvel and war machine built by Trevor that defends humanity from his evil. He is a futuristic warrior designed to attack with high amounts of fire power and brute force to compensate for his weak armor. He is the Chaotic Good member of the Hivemind.

## Background

Josh was first constructed by Trevor as a means of protecting those Trevor cared about from death. This didn't work. Josh sensing Trevor's Shit Taste, fled and pursued his own life. While his base form was relatively weak due to his lack of understanding of his Cybertronian biology, Josh became hardened in the blood soaked streets of Detroit.

Josh stood up for the weak but also bullied them to harden them and prepare them for the real world. Over time Josh became a controversial but Heroic figure to mankind.

## History

### Romance

Early in his life, a chance encounter brought Josh face to face with John Cena, the only man he ever loved. Due to their mutual affinity for Kendomancy and desire to protect the weak, Josh was able to woo Cena and had a budding relationship. During this Time, Josh reformatted his body into being a woman. Josh became pregnant during this time and later gave birth to Marissa. Josh recognized the latent shit taste in this daughter, and realizing he could not escape the family curse, abandoned her on Trevor's doorstep. John Cena would also drift apart and Josh would attempt to regain his love.

### Hero Guild

Fearing the spreading influence of the Dark Lords in the DK universe, Josh formed an alliance with 7 Man and established the Hero Guild to oppose them. During this Time Josh's power would increase dramatically as he honed his robotic physiology.

### New Romance

Josh briefly returned to his home town while feeling the influence of the Dark Lord of Lust, Becky P. Sucrose there. At this time he once again met his daughter, Marissa, now an adult. The two formed a new romance (due to the Symbiote Bondage blocking his ability to sense her shit taste while also erasing Marissa's inhibitions). The two were married and had a son named Quill.

### Lich King Battles and Afterlife Journeys

Josh would stand in opposition to Trevor following Trevor's rise as the Lich King. The two fought for many years with several close calls on both sides. Eventually, Trevor was able to defeat Josh using his superior Kendomancy techniques. Following his death, Josh trained with Chris Benoit on his planet in The First God of Destruction's realm to master Kendomancy. Josh returned to life and battled once again with Trevor. Trevor in turn would devise newer more lethal tactics to kill Josh, but each time he would simply train under another dead wrestler, continuing on to learn from Eddie Guerrero, then Andre the Giant and finally Macho Man Randy Savage.

### Gayhalla

Following their last encounter, Trevor realized that eventually this process would result in Josh reaching The First God of Destruction, and Trevor knew he couldn't allow Josh access to the arsenal of the God of Destruction, thus in their last encounter, Trevor called in a favor from Becky P. Sucrose to throw Josh's soul into Gayhalla to prevent any chance of him gaining more Kendomancy power. When Josh arrived he was forced to ally with A racist Grandpa from South Carolina to follow the Underground Rainbow Railroad and escape. They nearly escaped but were stopped by Becky P. Sucrose who attempted to destroy them for not being Gay enough. During this battle, the Racist Grandpa sacrificed himself and merged with the Becky P. Sucrose, permanently tainting her main power source, the Gay Force. Sucrose was forced to flee, and in his last conscious moments, the Racist Grandpa gave Josh the ability to draw power from the Gay Force, insisting that he was a good kid and should stay away from Negro doctors. Josh escaped and returned to the mortal plain, even stronger.

### Hivemind War

Following his return, Trevor ascended and became the Dark Lord of Wrath. Josh while powerful knew he would need an ally against him. Josh formed an alliance of convenience with Bird Emperor Thomas against the Dark Lord. The Resulting war ravaged the entire world, causing untold pain and suffering. Needing to defeat the Dark Lord, he and Thomas made a concentrated psychic attack on the Lich King, causing their minds to meld together into the Hivemind. This brought an uneasy end to the war and a forced alliance.

### Hivemind

Josh became the Machine Paladin and continued to protect mankind, now using his position to keep close tabs on the Lich King. Josh removed himself from the affairs of his more megalomaniac allies and returned home to his family. Following Anthony's betrayal he remains as a prominent general against the Feminist Queen.

## Powers and Abilities

#### Machine Biology

Josh is a highly advanced experimental Cybertronian created by Trevor's science. As a result Josh has:

* **Superhuman Strength:** Josh is easily strong enough to lift several hundred tons over his head with little difficulty
* **Superhuman Speed:** Josh has a top Sprinting speed of 350 Miles per Hour
* **Supersonic Flight:** Josh can fly using rocket boosters and can reach an aerial speed faster than the speed of sound
* **Mechanical Regeneration:** any metal introduced to Josh's body can be used to repair his cybernetic body
* **Transformation:** Josh is capable of transforming various parts of his body to quickly change his approach to combat. This usually involves transforming his body into different guns
* **Size Changing:** Josh, as a Cybertronian can shift his mass into and out of a personal pocket dimension

Josh's primary form is his humanoid "Hunter" mode. In this form, Josh uses faster but slightly weaker armaments including but not limited to:

* **Photon Shotgun:** A double barreled variant, used in the right hand
* **Antimatter Revolver:** A six shooter variant, used in the right hand
* **Plasma Fire Ax:** Offhanded
* **Combat Shovel:** Vibranium bladed
* **Rail Guns:** Twin, shoulder mounted
* **Gatling Guns:** Twin, hip mounted
* **Grenade Launcher:** Cataclysm-Class, Rapid Fire
* **Laser Eye Cannons**
* **EMP**

Josh can assume a larger mode designed for Siege warfare and mass destruction. It resembles a metal gear. In this form, Josh is slower but has far greater destructive capacity. His armaments include but are not limited to:

* **Battleship Guns:** 3 sets
* **Missile:** 5 bays with a battery of over 100 anti-aircraft missiles each
* **Plasma Ray Cannon**
* **Blade Whip:** Apocalypse-Class
* **Rail Cannons:** Twin, Shoulder Mounted, Gustav-Class
* **Machine Gun Turrets:** Over 100 located across the bow
* **Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles:** Capacity for storage and launch of 3, each with Nuclear payload comparable to the Russian Tsar Bomba
* **Adamantium Sword:** Doesn't even need it.

#### Kendomancy

Josh is highly trained in the forbidden magical martial art known as Kendomancy. He has received extensive training from various deceased masters and is believed to be one of the strongest master of the art. Additionally, his attunement to the art unlocked his Stand

#### 「ＯＣＥＡＮ ＭＡＮ」

Josh's Stand Ocean Man resembles the World but with the A&W Logo on its head. Its body is also made entirely of liquid, having a Slime-like physiology. Ocean Man can produce and control any liquid. It can also produce an unlimited quantity of Root Beer floats.

#### Gayforce

While Josh has access to the power of the Gayforce, he lacks consent from Sucrose and therefore having it merely acts as a semi-permanent buff to his power.

## Trivia

* Josh during Anthony's short membership with the Hivemind formed the Rap group: Main Street Porno with him.
* Josh derives most of his joy from sheer acts of spite towards others, including his friends, loved ones and enemies.
* Josh's offhand Ax does not engender passivity. I mean, just look at the damn thing.
* Josh at some point passed the Bar exam. He is technically a defense attorney
* Gypceros drops Monster Bone L.
* Controls the rate at which Swords Butthole.