Nergal's Eupnea

Do you suffer from a crippling Insomnia? By that I mean; are you completely unable to have satisfactory sleep for seemingly impossible periods of time? Are you plagued by a stream of never-ending and seemingly random thoughts whenever you attempt to get some shuteye or maybe you suffer from completely unexpected bouts of anxiety whenever you’re trying to hit the hay? Well, if you are, let me tell you something - I was just like you at one point.

In all honesty, my insomnia was so bad that I would go on with no real sleep for days on end, it’s like I was a demented person barely making my way through the days. I found myself being lost and confused due to the lack of sleep. It had gotten so bad I was feeling my sanity slip away, seriously. I was stuck, self-torturing with anxious thoughts plaguing me almost on a daily basis whenever I tried to fall asleep; no matter how tired I had been - sleep wouldn’t come. My brain wouldn’t stop racing.

I’ve gotten sleeping pills; these were failing me. I’ve tried therapy, turns out I was only anxious because I was sleep-deprived. I’ve tried drugs; I’ve tried weed, I’ve tried exotic mushrooms.

Nothing… Lack of sleep prevailed over all.

I was so desperate I approached some faith healer sort of person who recommended what I could only call potions, these obviously did nothing. Some were just fancy teas! He suggested various yoga-styled practices that also didn’t do much to help my affliction. It just made me more sore and tired.

During my tenure with this guy, I’ve discovered the solution to all of my problems. I discovered the Near Delirium Ritual as I’d like to call it. He didn’t teach me that one; I found it on my own when I was trying a relaxation technique he had mentioned to me. Don’t be alarmed by the name, delirium isn’t really psychosis or a fit of madness. in medical terms, delirium is a state of awareness, a reduced one but nonetheless a state of awareness.

Anyhow, let us get to the ritual itself; it’s incredibly simple, and the only resources you need are a comfortable bed to lie in and patience. Lots of patience, Iron nerves even, I’d say.

In order to perform the ritual, you have to lie down, preferably alone and in a dark room with no running electric devices. Avoid devices that emit sounds or lights as these tend to interfere with your sleep.

Close your eyes and start clearing your head, I know it can be incredibly difficult to do but just stop thinking about things. Concentrate on

sleeping, but not hard enough for it to actually become the subject of your pondering. Feel yourself getting rid of everything, slowly, don’t rush. That’s important. It doesn’t matter how long this takes, take your time. Eventually, you should feel kind of heavy and probably exhausted.

At this point, you should begin relaxing your body actively, start with your toes; let your body become limp at your own command. Once you’ve relaxed your toes, work your way up along your body until you feel like a dead weight. I know, I know that sounds somewhat concerning, but that’s how a relaxed body is like - a heavy smudge on the surface it rests upon.

If your condition is as bad as you claim it to be even this wouldn’t help you fall asleep. A person without insomnia who performs this relaxation technique is bound to fall asleep by this point. You, however, cannot. Sleep evades your shattered corpse.

At this point, if you’ve followed my instructions, you’re basically nearing that almost delirious stage that comes shortly before we fall asleep. Here you have to focus on the darkness that should’ve taken up residence in your mental space.

Remember, don’t focus too hard.

You can’t start thinking about it too much, or you’ll regain full consciousness again.

Just kind of linger in that dark and empty space that has become of your mental imagery. Keep lingering until you feel the darkness shifting around you. At one point or another, the dead space all around your mental-scape-self should become very much alive. You will experience something similar to floating in a sea of darkness. You could also describe it like something akin to you walking in a dark hall. Do not confuse this for lucid dreaming. You are awake, albeit not fully, you are still not asleep enough to dream, lucid dreams or otherwise.

While I’m not entirely sure about the internal mechanics of the whole process, I’m inclined to believe that in our less than conscious states we’re capable of reaching somewhere… Else… I know that sounds made up, but I’ve recommended others to try to perform the Near Delirium Ritual and they’ve experienced the same results as I have, some even outdid me. I find it harder to believe we’ve all had the same dream scenario or anything of the sort. A different plain of existence or dimension seems far more plausible to me.

Let yourself walk in the darkness and do not open your eyes - if you do, you’ll be awake again.

Keep on walking in this mental darkness until you hear a voice, and even after you do, don’t stop yourself. The voice might sound like it’s crying like it’s in pain, it might even produce terrifying sounds. One thing you must remember; do not open your eyes.

At no point, you are to open your eyes, or you will fail the ritual.

This is the part where I mention some risks and drawbacks of the ritual. If you open your eyes at this point, you won’t be able to perform the ritual again. There are also severe health risks involved with the later stages of the ritual, so see yourselves warned.

Anyway, no matter what the voice, or voices, in the dark tell you, you are not to open your eyes for reasons mentioned above. Your name will be eventually called, but you are to keep on traversing the darkness, unresponsive I might add. Do not open your eyes or utter a sound even if you hear your mother your name. Not even if you hear the agonized screams of a loved one calling your name begging for help.

I repeat, again, do not open your eyes! Nor do you allow yourself to stop moving or to utter a sound!

You do that, and you’ve failed the ritual - and we each get one shot with this gift. Something or someone is there; in the darkness, to help you with your problem. Someone very powerful - do not waste their time, am I clear?

Once the voice in the dark has had enough fun with you or determined you are worthy of its services, it will introduce itself to you. That is when you are to allow yourself to stop moving through the darkness. You should also open your eyes and introduce yourself politely to the owner of the voice.

Fear not, it’s just an old man, well at least in appearance it is. You can trust me on this one, there are no monsters other than the ones that dwell deep within our souls. There is nothing too odd about the being in terms of appearance, perhaps other than its deathly pale skin and almost rabid bloodshot eyes. That shouldn’t be too alarming, now, should it? I’m sure your affliction had made you witness worse in the form of a broken perception.

No matter how you feel about the being, make sure to never disrespect it or it will cease the ritual abruptly and the repercussions of that are way too severe to bear. Don’t comment on its ragged cloak or pallor, nor you are to mock the amusing sounds the being emits as it strolls around you.

After you’ve done introducing yourself, the being will ask you the reason for which you had sought it. You are to describe your problem, make sure you tell just how bad the condition affects you.

The being will look at you for a moment before making its decision on whether or not to help you. Don’t you dare to mistake its lax demeanor for lack of action. It is merely putting up a front, so you won’t freak out while it is scanning the damage to your systems. If you even dare as much as to form a glimmer of a negative thought about the being, it will feel disrespected and jolt you awake on the spot. Trust me, this part will be far harder than it might seem, considering that by all accounts; the being tends to strike a ridiculous pose as it is scanning the neural mazes of your brain.

I can’t stress this enough, Do. Not. Laugh.

Once the being is done scanning you it will act how it sees fit; if your insomnia isn’t as bad as you thought it is, the being will tell you to see more conventional help and bid you fair well.

Do not argue, this will result in a lethal outcome. Perhaps one even far worse than death.

If your insomnia is as bad as you thought it is, the being will offer you its help.

Kindly accept.

The being will then approach you and ask you to get on your knees.

Don’t argue, just do it.

If you argue and protest, the being will part ways with you and you will be back in full consciousness, unable to contract it again.

If you comply; once on your knees the being will warn you that the next part might hurt a little and that you can stop the procedure at any point. Thank it for the warning and allow it to proceed. Know however that the being is lying. The next part of the ritual will be far worse than anything you’ve ever experienced before. You will be dragged through hell and back and once more through hell once the next part begins.

Unfortunately, for you, you cannot decline the being’s services at this point, for if you do it will become agitated and the price will be on the scope of the biblical plagues for you. I suggest you bite your lips, clench your fists and brace yourself for the ride.

You may ask for an early conclusion mid-process, but there’s no guarantee for a happy ending. If the way you request an early conclusion is deemed rude, you’ll never be the same.

Though, you won't have to worry about that for very long, should you disrespect the being at this point.

See yourself warned, you have many chances to give up on the ritual and seek a more conventional form help, but at this junction, you’ve to suck it up and carry on. And trust me, it is going to hurt, far worse than should be possible.

Once the being is done warning you and you’ve thanked it, it will place its hand onto your face. The hand will feel incredibly cold and rough in texture. Don’t flinch, don’t gag, don’t anything. Stay completely put.

The being will close your eyes with its fingers and then it will press slightly on your cranium. I suggest taking a very deep breath at this point and biting your tongue or lip as hard as you can. Once your eyes have been closed, you feel begin feeling an increasing amount of pressure applied to your skull. The pressure will only seem to increase over time. The pain will only grow worse and worse. The trend will continue until you feel your skull cracking and your brain matter spilling out.

No matter how bad it hurts do not grab at the being or scream.

If you do, you will anger it and the price will be far more painful, believe me, this pain is only temporary, unlike the one you’ll experience if you irritate the being.

You could even feel something running down your scalp and onto your cheeks, but no matter the pain you shouldn’t be worried, that is in fact, not your brain matter. It’s nothing abnormal; just your sweat.

Once your skull begins feeling like it had been crushed to pieces, it gets even more excruciating. You will begin feeling as if burning nails are hammered into your cranium, repeatedly.

Your head will pound worse than any migraine you’ve heard of; your nerves will be in fact under attack by a thunderstorm. Even worse, your heartbeat will become so violent and so audible it will feel as if war drums are being beaten right in your face with inhuman ferocity.

Make sure to remember you are not to scream or grab. You can, however, find solace in the fact that you can hiss, grunt, or even moan loudly.

Once the heat of the hellfire raging inside your noggin reaches a boiling point, it will travel across your body but instead of making you experience the mother of all fevers you will experience chills. Spine shaking chills.

It is fear, the purest of all terrors.

Your breathing is bound to go shallow and quick. Your heart rate will increase even further, adding crushing chest pain to your already explosive headache. Wave after wave of Adrenaline will flood your veins as you slowly but surely succumb to what will feel like you are about to die.

Scream, or resist the ghastly grasp on your face and you will be surely begging for death to come.

You’ve to promise me this, though; you will not throw up at the being once the urge arises and it will. Your stomach will twist and turn into knots so condensed that the contents of your digestive system will try to claw their way out of their tube-shaped confines. You have to fight the urge! No matter how impossible it seems, you’ve to keep the gastric liquids inside!

If you make it through this, you’re safe, just for a moment.

You’ve made it through to the ending of the ritual, one last step before you can be cured of your ailment. Just a little bit more and you’ll be able to sleep soundly whenever you just wish!

One last push and you’re free from the sleepless curse!

If only it were that simple, you see, I’ve failed the ritual at this particular stage, most people I know of failed. Some fared better than I, yet still fail, others fared worse and ended up worse. This part is probably the most sinister part of this whole thing; worse than the neurological torture you’ve been put through, and worse than the baptism in adrenaline. You will feel exhausted and weak, but the being doesn’t care. You must continue. If you stop the ritual there, the being will condemn you to the ultimate punishment.

You wouldn’t want that. Do you believe there are things worse than capital punishment? Well, even if you don’t, there are, and it’s one of those things.

Oh yeah, before I forget; during the whole process, you aren’t to open your eyes. A blinding bright light will illuminate everything around you. It’s so bright, you might be able to tell the way the orbs are dancing in the otherwise dead space before you. If what I’ve just mentioned doesn’t make it clear enough, if you open your eyes during this point, your insides will simply liquefy and pour out through your facial orifices and you will feel every last bit of your insides boiling before you finally drop dead.

If you’re still following, allow me to tell you what the last part is like. You see after you’ve battled with your gut; you will slowly begin to feel everything fade away. The pain will begin to subside, and your mind will start easing up on you. Embrace it, hold on to that sense of security.

It’s a false sense of security of course, but still, you should hold on to it.

Once you feel like you’re almost high, you are to open your eyes and you should savor that good feeling with every last fiber of your being because that’s when the real torture begins. According to what I know, each person will experience something different during the last part of the

Near Delirium Ritual. The best way I can sum it up is you being forced to confront your worst fear, the one you didn’t even know you had.

For me, it was dealing with scorched animated corpses.

Once I opened my eyes, I saw myself inside my bedroom but it wasn’t quite right, everything seemed to be old and neglected. Covered in dust and faded in color. As I looked around, I noticed the floor moving about; as if something was trying to break through from beneath. I was mesmerized by the dancing floorboards; I couldn’t tear my eyes off the spectacle before me. I wasn’t aware of the danger. The floorboards broke, and a scorched hand pushed its way through, followed by a badly burned body. It stared right at me, making me freeze as another wave of adrenaline overflowed my system. The corpse slowly made its way towards me, emitting a choked scream as it did; its cataracted eyes were locked with mine. I couldn’t look away, couldn’t move at all. The smell of burning flesh pierced my nostrils. Before I knew it; more and more burned corpses made their way to me. The sight of their exposed charred insides and the smell and the noise completely petrified me. I couldn’t do anything. I was at their mercy. One of them touched me; once I felt its leathery skin press itself against the back of my neck, I couldn’t handle it anymore. At that moment I managed to squeeze out a pathetic cry begging for the torment to stop.

I felt myself collapsing to the floor as everything faded to black for a moment before I came to.

I was still on my knees, drenched in sweat and the being stood in front of me; it’s hand slowly retracting from my face. I didn’t even have time to recollect myself before the being nodded and its skin began to crack and peel off emanating a disgusting crunching sound. In a moment’s notice, I heard a wet thump coming from the being.

I blinked.

A flash of blinding light swept all over me, knocking me out.

I woke up fifteen hours after I remember going to bed, I’ve completed the ritual.

Now I can sleep where ever I want, whenever I want, for as long as I want; well reasonably, that is.

Turns out you don’t have to make it through the final part, all you have to do is make sure your fear satisfies the sadistic hunger of the being. The right amount of suffering will ensure your survival and reward. I’ve recommended the ritual to a couple of dozen people in person; eleven didn’t pass the final part and were cured by the being. Two passed with success. Another three were scarred for life for their misdemeanor by endlessly enduring nightmares in the shape of their final trial, and if I’m honest, I don’t even pity them; I’ve warned them enough times.

In a sense, the ritual is pretty simple. All you’ve to do is to endure a visit to the deepest pits of hell without being rude, and you might be cured. Like I’ve said, this being does what it wants, so nothing is a hundred percent with this ritual.

If you still are interested in performing it, more power to you. Remember to be patient and polite, however. Also, remember that you can ask the being you want it to stop at about any point, but the way you ask is what truly matters.

One last warning, you know how I said I’ve recommended the ritual twenty people and listed the outcome of only sixteen. Four ended up succumbing to a fate worse than death; they’ve all developed Fatal Insomnia, a type of neurodegenerative disease characterized by worsening inability to sleep which leads to dementia.

The usual lifespan of a person diagnosed with Fatal Insomnia is about eighteen months. These meager eighteen months are marred at first by the aforementioned gradual inability to sleep which later turns into increasing distortion of the perception and ever-growing paranoia. These are followed by an overall cognitive decline. The lack of proper rest eventually leads the afflicted's brain to shut off periodically for some shallow shuteye which does not provide any real replenishment. This never ending cycle of sleepless wasting eventually leads to loss of all faculties and a borderline vegetative state; one which only ends in the sweet release of death.

All four outlived the average lifespan of a victim of the disease, they did so, in indescribable agony needless to say.

Remember that headache part I mentioned? Well yeah, the being, it appears to be messing with your actual brain to fix or break you.

Piss off this thing and it will make sure to misfold your brain proteins into prions.