Mr. Swindle

An ominous image of the mysterious Mr. Swindle and his circus

Mr. Swindle is a snake oil salesman who travels the country in search of suckers. He peddles various elixirs and has a traveling circus, setting up in small towns in order to make a quick buck. His show includes various carnival acts including trapeze walkers, contortionists, strongmen, magicians, and beast tamers. By the time a town realizes that they have been scammed, Mr. Swindle's circus is already packed up and headed to its next destination. His entire circus tent and stalls all somehow fold up to fit in the bed of his Toyota Tacoma, which operates on clown car physics and is somehow able to fit all the carnies inside.

## Relationship to the Ringmaster

Mr. Swindle is believed to be a similar type of entity to the Ringmaster, as he appears to have been around for at least the entire history of the United States. His circus has been reported as early as 1839, and he appears to operate on similar principles. While the Ringmaster operates on a quest for partychlorians, Mr. Swindle apparently has no such motives. He is a mysterious figure who seems to be interested in earning money and swindling his customers rather than any sort of party energy. He is the opposite side of the coin to the Ringmaster, as he throws scam circuses that are viewed as successful with the intention of scamming, whereas the Ringmaster throws scam carnivals that are often viewed as Krabby Lands.

## Elixers

Mr. Swindle offers various elixirs for sale at his circus, many of which contain high levels of alcohol. His go-to tactic seems to be to inebriate his customers, thus making them easier to scam. Some of his more potent elixirs have titles such as "LIFE EXTENDER" or "VITALITY INCREASER," however it is unknown if these actually work. Suspiciously, there are several people who claim that Mr. Swindle has provided them with true elixirs, but they seem to always come at a terrible cost, akin to a Monkey's Paw situation. Some people even claim that certain deals with Mr. Swindle and his elixirs have cost them their souls, forcing them to serve as a performer in his circus.

## 2023 China balloon incident

In February 2023, an alleged Chinese surveillance balloon entered Canadian and American airspace. The Chinese government said the balloon was a civilian airship used for meteorological research that had deviated from its course. It is now understood, based on a combined effort by the Miguel's Emporium LLC Research and defense departments, that Mr. Swindle either created and piloted, or simply piloted the surveillance balloon, his intention being to lead The people of the United States of America to believe that the balloon was an autonomous weather surveillance aircraft. His greatest scam yet.

At 2:39 PM EST, the balloon was downed by two F-22 fighter jets, with the United States announcing that it will recover and analyze the remnants in the Atlantic. Mr. Swindle was presumed dead in the crash, as no escape craft was seen launching off the balloon before or after the missiles connected. However as of February 17th, 2023 Mr. Swindle's newest swindle was a success, and he was spotted alive in Florida, confirming he survived the Chinese spy balloon incident.

This does not explain the vast majority of UAP incidents in the Bering strait after his maiden voyage to the skies.