Entering the Jungle

**Entering the Jungle** is a scene wherein the boat sets out for adventure!

[Text.]

On the starboard side, the boat passes the Boathouse's back room, where the Queue can be extended. As the boat turns left with the river, it's surrounded by foliage, and engulfed in mist.

## Location

### **Magic Kingdom**

The scene takes places on the Amazon, after loading into the boat, but before the Butterflies.

## Spiel

### **Disneyland**

Welcome, unwary traveler, aboard the [boat name]!  My name is [the skipper's name], and I'll be your skipper and guide down the rivers of adventure.

Would you folks please turn and take a last good look at the dock?  Wave goodbye!  [Pause.]  You may never see it again.

As we leave the last outpost of civilization, we enter the mouth of the Irrawadi River of Burma, where rare plants and lush vegetation grow in abundance.

The dragon's blood trees of the area actually bleed red when cut.

For you ladies, notice the ever-fresh orchids.  They need no soil!  They get their nourishment from the moisture in the air.

We're passing through a tropical rainforest, where it rains three hundred and sixty-five days a year!  The rest of the time, it's quite sunny, though.

Notice these huge butterflies?  They attain a wingspan of more than a foot!

On that old stump?  A colorful toucan bird!

### **Magic Kingdom**

#### **Waving Goodbye**

Everyone wave goodbye to the folks on the dock. C'mon, now; wave! They may never see you again! Why, you may never see anyone again!

Everyone wave goodbye to the folks on the dock. C'mon, folks; pretend you're having a good time.

Everyone wave goodbye to the beautiful people on the dock! Now wave to all the ugly ones, too!

Everyone wave goodbye to the dock! Now wave goodbye to the people on the dock!

#### **Safety**

Please remain seated.

Please keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the boat. They make great appetizers for the piranhas.

Please keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the boat. Last week, we had an English teacher onboard. She stuck her hand out, and now she teaches shorthand! The math teacher jumped in to help, and now he's history.

Please keep your hands, arms, feet, legs, cameras, hairpieces, and jewelry inside the boat. You can leave your wallets on the seat, though. I'll collect 'em later.

Please watch your children as closely as the crocodiles will...if not closer! Your choice.

Oh, here's a reminder from the Jungle Navigation Company! [The skipper "reads" from a notebook.] "...three days' provisions...man-eating piranha...anti-venom...bushman's poison...cannibals..." Here it is! "All passengers are required to remain seated, keeping their hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the boat, and please, watch your children." I guess that kills my plans for a dance party.

By following these rules, your hands, arms, feet, legs, and children have a fighting chance of returning to civilization! There's no guarantee for the other parts, though.

#### **The Skipper's Introduction**

I'd like to welcome all you fun devils aboard!

Welcome aboard the Leaki-Tiki, Adventure Lovers!

Welcome aboard the [boat name]! My name is [the skipper's name], and I'll be your skipper and guide for the next two weeks down these rivers of adventure.

My name is [the skipper's name], and I'll be your skipper for as far as we get! Based on my last trip, that may not be too far. But then, you did buy one-way tickets, didn't you?

My name is [the skipper's name], and I'll be your captain--unless we run into trouble--in which case, your new captain will be taking over. [The skipper indicates a specific guest.] What'd you say your name was, again?

My name is [the skipper's name], and I'll be your skipper for the next five exciting days and ten romantic nights!

My name is--[The skipper forgets their name, checks their name tag, then says their name.]--and I'll be your skipper, tour guide, social directors, dance instructor, alligator wrestler, and quite possibly, your swimming instructor.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask someone sitting next to you.

#### **The Ride's Introduction**

This is a cruise you could only take in a place like the Magic Kingdom. We'll travel across three continents and down four rivers of the world, and you won't even need your passport! All you'll need is some imagination. If you're a little short of it today, borrow some from the person next to you.

All we'll need is some courage, and a little bit of luck. Don't worry; I've always been lucky, so the courage is up to you.

We'll be gone about three weeks, but trust me, you'll have so much fun, it won't seem nearly that long.

#### **The Amazon's Introduction**

Our first destination today is the river they call "the Jungle Sea;" the Amazon River of South America.

The Amazon is by far the mightiest river in the world, carrying four times as much water as any other.

As we leave civilization behind, we enter the mighty Amazon of South America, where rare plants and lush vegetation grow in abundance.

This is a tropical rain forest, where it rains three hundred and sixty-five days a year. Many of the plants you see require no soil to grow; they get their nourishment strictly from the moisture in the air.

Scattered through the trees are rare and beautiful bromeliads. These colorful plants have no roots, and get all the moisture they need directly from the air and rain.

#### **Rain**

We begin our adventure, deep in the Amazon rainforest, where it rains three hundred and sixty-five days a year. Y'know, that's almost every day!

Here in the rainforest, it rains three hundred and sixty-five days a year! Some years, it even rains every day!

[If it's not raining and the mist effect is off:] Here in the rainforest, it rains three hundred and sixty-five days a year. Fortunately, this is a leap-year!

[If it's raining:] Welcome to *the Jungle Cruise*, where today, the entire jungle is a rainforest!

#### **Mist**

We're now entering the Amazon rainforest. Actually, it's a mist-forest, so you might have mist it.

Feel that mist on your face? Kinda cool, kinda nice? It's interesting to note that this mist carries the world's largest array of rare tropical bacteria! It's just one of those extras we provide for you.

Here in the rainforest, we have mist three hundred a sixty-five days a year, but this is a leap year, so we mist a year! Aww, don't get all misty on me!

Wait, I forgot something! Ohh, what was it? It was important. Hmm. Oh, I remember! Don't let any of that mist get in your eyes or touch your skin! [Awkward pause.] Oops. Well, you'll find out why in twenty-four to forty-eight hours!

##### **Waving Goodbye**

Wave goodbye to all the nice people on the docks!  Now wave goodbye to the naughty ones!

##### **The Skipper's Introduction**

My name is [the skipper’s name], and I’ll be your skipper for as far as we get before New Year’s Day.

My name is [the skipper's name], and I'll be your skipper, youre tree trimmer, your stocking stuffer, your popcorn stringer, and your Secret Santa! Wait, I wasn't supposed to announce that one.

My name is [the skipper’s name], and I’ll be your happy holiday host until I bring you back on New Year’s Day so our boat can be a-float in the parade!  ...although that depends on whether our boat can stay afloat on the river.

##### **The Ride's Introduction**

I’d like to welcome you aboard the World Famous *Jingle Cruise*.

Welcome aboard *the Jingle Cruise*!  We’ve been good all year!  Can’t say the same for our jokes, though.

Welcome to the World Famous *Jing-e Cruise*! Oops, excuse me, *Jingle Cruise*! Sorry, that was my first no-L.

Here on *the Jingle Cruise*, we have a generous Return Policy!

* Just yesterday, over half of my crew returned!
* It’s our policy to return as many of you as possible.

Welcome to *the Jingle Cruise*:  a place where the only holiday crush comes from a boa constrictor, and you rarely wait in a lion.

##### **The Amazon's Introduction**

We're now entering the Amazon rainforest. Do you know why Santa loves this place? Because he loves rain, dear.

We begin this cruise on the Amazon, also known as the "Iwannagoseesanta River."

##### **The Plot's Introduction**

Anybody like our decorations on the dock?  We ordered more, but the cargo plane missed its target.  Gotta love the holidays.

I love everything about the holidays, except when you order something and it gets lost along the way.  Speaking of which, let’s go find my order that was lost along the way!

We’re just getting started on our decorating.  I’ve ordered more decorations, and they guaranteed overnight shipping!  Unfortunately, they didn’t say overnight to where, so...let’s go find my order!