Children of the Cornball - Part One

Poster for this Live Show and Camp Crystal Light

> "*I'm just glad that earthquake didn't destroy my drink. I mean, Pollo.*"
> ― KaiKai Bee Michaels
>
>

**Children of the Cornball - Part One** is the twenty-first episode of Queens of Adventure Legends. It is the first part of the third live show recorded at Oasis in San Francisco featuring the San Francisco cast.

## Summary

At the annual summertime Cornball Competition, a friendly contest between drag houses, the team from House Aubergine perform a lip synch.

A bugbear in a tuxedo addresses the crowd as they finish, and explains Team Aubergine is one of the three houses in the final. He asks them to show off their signature moves.

Pollo del Mar explains the symbolism of the circles and wigs she is adorned with. Erika Klash discusses her skills at the bathhouse, while KaiKai Bee Michaels says she will demonstrate her skills at a sex party later. KaiKai then demonstrates her *mage hand* for the crowd. Kitty Powers explains her job is to inspire love, and then reads a poem about Erika. This inspires a judge to award a bonus point to Aubergine.

The bugbear explains the finals are between House Aubergine, House Bumblicious, and House Effluvia. Five challenges remain before the final lip synch. House Aubergine goes backstage.

Melba von Toast, who is acting as their dresser, approaches. The queens dip into draglish to express their feelings. Melba brings a mole out from her pocket, the one the group freed from a witch at Camp Crystal Light. The team named her D'Arcy.

The team from House Effluvia pushes past them. The two teams exchange reads and banter. House Bumblicious performs on stage and gains two points as the emcee hurries Team Aubergine on stage.

An aged gnome, holding a dog-eared book. He announces it is time for the reading challenge. Round one: Read each other. After the reads, they earned 4 points. For Round two, Team Effluvia comes out. Aubergine gets to read Effuvia. They earn 3 more points.

Round three gives Team Effluvia a chance to read the party. As they read, darkness flitters across each rival queen's eyes, and psychic damage gets dealt to Team Aubergine. Kitty tries to cast *vicious mockery* on them to retaliate, but the gnome, unaware of the interference, stops her. He awards 20 points to House Effluvia.

Score check: House Aubergine - 9 points. House Effluvia - 20 points. House Bumblicious - 2 points

Backstage, Pollo asks Kitty to play her instrument to cast *mantle of inspiration,* adding extra health to the party as Melba checks in on them. The judges applaud Kitty as Melba moves them to the next challenge.

It's time for the Catwalk Challenge. All four queens have one minute to create a look from a box of items before walking the catwalk, one at a time. KaiKai grabs an audience member to paddle, while Kitty leads the Dice Boy on a leash. The audience gains a point, and House Aubergine gains 10 points.

A spell of darkness spreads across the tent. Some mannequins and wigs around the tent spring to life. The crowd and judges are confused. The mannequeens rush House Aubergine. Kitty, ready for something sinister to happen, pulls out her pink flute and toots it, to inspire her teammates before hiding behind Pollo. Erika fires her longbow. A mannequeen fires a hairspray attack, sticking KaiKai and Kitty to the floor, and Kitty's arms are pinned to her sides. The wig follows up with an attack at Kitty.

Up in the stands, Team Effluvia are the only ones not fleeing. Instead they are cackling.

KaiKai, stuck to the floor, uses a *color spray* from between her legs, blinding a mannequeen. Pollo, nearby, goes into a barbarian rage and pile drivers the blightwig.

The crowd evacuated, the judges rush in to help and slash through the remaining monsters. They announce the show will continue, but only after a brief intermission.

### Characters

####  Party

* Erika Klash - half-orc fighter
* KaiKai Bee Michaels - high elf wizard
* Kitty Powers - half-elf bard
* Pollo del Mar - goliath barbarian

#### NPcs

* Bugbear emcee (debut)
* Wizard Judge in a rainbow sash (debut)
* Melba von Toast
	+ Darcy the House Elf Mole
* Team House Effluvia (debut)
	+ Claire DeRunway - tiefling in ill-fitting red dress
	+ Jenna Sais-Quoi - elf in evening gown with Russian accent
	+ Holly Mackerel - Half-orc with peg leg and pirate hat
	+ Busty Stringcheese - Blonde Dwarf in cow costume
* Team House Bumblicious (debut)
* Reading Challenge Gnome (debut)
* Mysterious Voice

#### Monsters/Enemies

* Mannequeens
* Drag Golem

#### Live Show Roles

* DM Matt
* Dice Boy Andrew
* Portia Gaysa - Door Duty
* Audience volunteer - Scorekeeper
* Audience Member Madeline - LipSynch expert

## Episode Notes

### Lore

* The Queens of the Great Houses host an annual Cornball to compete and see who has the best house.

### Inspiration Earned

* Pollo - for her opening introduction
* Erika - for her opening and use of her prop bow
* Kitty - for her poem
* KaiKai - for pointing out a crooked lash on a rival
* KaiKai - self-confident cum-dumpster awareness
* Pollo - continued reference to Heklina and her show Mother
* Pollo - for shading Sister Roma

### Memorable Quotes

* "Each circle on my head represents a generation of my family that has been in House Aubergine. And each of my shoulder pads is a lace front snatched from an unfortunate queen in battle." - Pollo del Mar
* "I have night vision, which means I can feel my way through the bathhouse. I also have endless endurance, which means I can have fun... at the bathhouse." - Erika Klash
* "It arrived in two days! Yay!" - Erika Klash
* "I also have some other fun tricks, like I don't know, a fun rope trick. I can show you that one at the sex party I'm going to be at tonight. I also have mage hand, so I can also show you that at the sex party." - KaiKai Bee Michaels
* "I'm also a mistress of love, so I'm trying to set these girls up with people because they're all very lonely. You can tell, can't you." - Kitty Powers
* "Your lash is crooked girl." - KaiKai Bee Michaels
* "I just love them all so much. It's hard for me to be able to read any of them. They're my sisters... Kitty Powers!" - Pollo del Mar
* "I'll look at the cow costume and say: Heklina! I thought we banished you in our last adventure!" - Pollo del Mar
* "I look at the tiefling and say, 'Man, RuPaul, you really shouldn't have fired Mathu Andersen" - KaiKai
* "Not just public schools. New York City public schools." - Erika Klash
* "I'm feeling like a bootleg Sister Roma." - Pollo del Mar
* "A point of inspiration for figuring out how many sides a square has." - "It's a cube bitch! A square has four sides." - DM Matt and Pollo del Mar

### References

* Dragula
* Heklina and D'Arcy - owners of Oasis
* Jeff Sessions
* A Wrinkle in Time
* Oprah Winfrey
* Rupaul and Mathu Andersen
* Monique Hart's "Brown Cow, Stunning"

### Name That Tune

* "Get This Party Started" - Shirley Bassey version (opening lip synch)
* "I Put a Spell on You" -
* "Pinball Number Count" - Sesame Street, music by Walt Kraemer (Catwalk challenge prep)

## Behind the Queens

* This episode was originally released as Bonus Episode Six.
* The queens refer to events from the previous live show the night before, Camp Crystal Light, which could not be recorded due to stolen recorded equipment.
* DM Matt promotes the periodic live stream drag shows from the Pastel Gore group (including Erika, KaiKai, and Rock M Sakura) on the twitch channel of Cash Monet, and shows streamed online from Oasis (the venue for the show) at sfoasis.com

**Enter the Wigsnatch** - Part One -- Part Two
**Day of the Lepus** - Part One -- Part Two
**Live Panels** -- RuPaul's DragCon 2018 -- Minneapolis LIVE: Gaylaxicon 2019 -- PAX West 2019
**The Pernicious Poisoning of Peachblossom** Part One -- Part Two
**QoA x NeoScum**: Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part Two
**Hang Ten**: Part One -- Part Two
**Geekhaus Live**: Part One - Part Two
**Emerald Forest Adventure Con**: Part One - Part Two
**Children of the Cornball**: **Part One** - Part Two
**Seattle in Chicago**: Part One - Part Two