The Mujahideen

In Bigppian Islam, the Mujahideen are the group of warriors that follow The 4 Fingered Lord. They are completely devoted to fighting on his behalf, and are prepared to give up their lives for him. The Mujahideen are governed by the Mujahideen Council, who give advice directly to the Lord. No account of the Lord actually following the given advice exists. The Mujahideen are mainly involved in conflict against the Mujadeen, although they have had conflicts with other groups, such as the LA Crips, and the ASU Administration. The main objective of the Mujahideen is to behead Sreehman Rahimchint, which would put an end to the Islamic Civil War.

Since their conception, the Mujahideen have been responsible for over 1 Septillion deaths, most of which were in the Middle East, although victims have been reported in North Korea, the United States, Pakistan, India, and Mars. The Mujahideen are responsible for finding extraterrestrial life, which allowed them to conduct Jihad on other planets. The Mujahideen have never been to space.

Over time, the Mujahideen have come to become the group that a majority of Muslims consider to be Allah's favorite group, although Allah himself has never accepted such claims. This view was widely accepted by the Mujahideen around 1 Billion years ago.

## Beginnings

### Early Age (5 - 4 Billion Years Ago)

The Mujahideen were founded around 5 billion years ago, around the time when Allah named The Lord as his successor to the Islamic Throne. Around this time, followers of Prophet Sreehman Rahimchint formed the Mujadeen. They began to attack the Lord. Followers of the Lord armed themselves and began to retaliate, killing members of the Mujahideen by the billions. The Mujadeen then declared the Islamic Civil War against the Mujahideen.

The 4 Fingered Lord declared that his mission was to eliminate the Mujadeen, and anyone who stood against him. He accused his brother, Prophet Sreehman Rahimchint, of being an Enemy of Islam, and ordered for his execution when captured. However, Sreehman Rahimchint is yet to be captured, and therefore, is not dead yet.

### Modern Age (4 - 3 Billion Years Ago)

Starting around 4 billion years ago, the Mujahideen started to become more organized, carefully planning out each of their attacks before executing them. This led to far greater efficiency in terms of resources wasted on each mission. However, it led to a decline in the number of kills, leading them to kill only tens of millions of Mujadeens every day. They attacked and dropped a nuclear bomb over the continent of Africa, doing damage worth almost $1. The Africans were thankful to the Mujahideen for putting them out of their misery.

During the middle age, the 4 Fingered Lord formed the Mujahideen Council, which was responsible for tactical and political planning amongst the Mujahideen. The Council is presided by Agent Vincent Khan Muhammed, a top-ranked General amongst the Mujahideen. Under his leadership, the Mujahideen have been more efficient than ever, killing nearly 1 billion people every week. The Mujahideen became the favorites to win the Islamic Civil War around this time.

### Current Age (3 Billion Years Ago to Present)

Over the last 3 Billion Year, the Mujahideen have grown to become the larger of the two groups between themselves and the Mujadeen. They have a membership of nearly 6 trillion soldiers, and possess 1 nuclear warhead, which they have, time and again, threatened to drop over Antarctica. The Mujahideen have become involved in many major events, such as the World Wars, the American Civil War, and the conflict between Fajr-ull Shahbabi Dahiri (FUSD) and Syed Hrishi al-Ghamdi. They are credited with resolving some of the most famous conflicts in history, such as the SCU Debate Forum, and the GGSA Debate Forum. The Mujahideen continue to make their presence felt around the world.

## Major Conflicts

The following are accounts of the Mujahideen's major conflicts, apart from the Islamic Civil War:

### The Kurukshetra War

The Kurukshetra War was fought in ancient India during times immemorable. Not much is known about the Mujahideen's involvement in this war, apart from the fact that they were involved. This is proven in the *Mahabarat,* a 450,000 page poem written by Indian poet Valmiki, where he says:

> *हमें Mujahideen की मदद लेनी चाहिए* *|*
>
>

The above quote translates to "Please help us, dear Mujahideen."

### American Civil War

The American Civil War is considered by many to be the greatest of all the Mujahideen's accomplishments. In the year 1864, when it seemed the Union had their back to the wall, US President Abraham Lincoln approached the 4 Fingered Lord, and appealed for assistance. Although the Lord was then fighting in the Islamic Civil War, he agreed to assist the Union in return for an unlimited supply of Potato Chips and Pepsi Cans. President Lincoln was taken aback, and after getting over his laughter, agreed to the set condition.

The Mujahideen sent 5 billion troops to the American Civil War. They were led by General Neelsingh Jaggod Dawood Ibrahim. All of the Mujahideen soldiers were killed within hours, therefore offering little to no practical assistance to the Union. The Union still managed to stage a comeback, however, and the Union was able to win the American Civil War. When President Lincoln revealed to the public that the Mujahideen was unable to provide any true assistance, The 4 Fingered Lord had him assassinated. The Lord then declared himself the winner of the American Civil War.

### World War II

The Mujahideen's role in World War II was far greater than their role in World War I. The Mujahideen were hired by US President Franklin Delano Roosevelt to aid in the development of a nuclear weapon against the Axis Powers. The Mujahideen sent Dr. Di'Jhae Fort to the US, where he trained a young man named Albert Einstein, in the theory of nuclear physics. Together, they crafted the world's first atomic bomb, and dropped it over Japan, killing over 100,000 Japanese soldiers, who were really just Mujadeens in disguise.

In the end, the Allied Powers emerged victors of World War II, with each nation giving ample credit to the Lord and his assistance.

## Culture

The Mujahideen are known for being devout Muslims, following every single one of the 5 Pillars of Islam. They are known for moving in groups, as they believe in the power of numbers.

### Governance

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Main Article: The Mujahideen Council

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The Mujahideen are governed by the Mujahideen Council. The Council consists of 5 members, each representing 1 Pillar and 1 Prayer of Islam. The Council has the final decision on what is considered Halal, and what is Haram. They are also responsible for advising the Lord, but the Lord does not pay heed to them. The Council are given free access to whatever they desire, so long as the cost is under $2.50.

### Legal Procedures

There is no existing legal system amongst the Mujahideen.