TRP: Aziz, Hansel, and Larkin (Bare Bones)

[Setting Day 426, the healing pond cave]

 The hole was damp and the bones of small animals crunched under her feet as Larkin kicked them aside to betterc wedge herself into the far corner. She'd tried staying with the group, but Goro hadn't gotten his memories back yet and she... she still felt so angry. At nothing in particular, and not the same burning hunger for violence as before, but looking at her friends still had her imagining sticking a knife in their throats or tearing at their skin with her teeth. Only now it scared her. Better not to look at anyone in a while. Better not to be around Goro while he still couldn't remember how much she loved him, and that she'd never hurt him as long... as long as she had command over her own body.

Larkin shivered, and not from any cold. So much fury. So much... wanting to hurt and kill. She'd never enjoyed it but Diva had made her want it. Ache for it. The sensation and sound and exhilaration and-

She grunted and buried her face jb her hands, then dug nails into her arms and raked them over her skin, the pain not quite taking the edge off the memory. Calm, she told herself. Calm. It was over. All done. All purged. It'd pass.

IZZY

Hansel skulked around, for a bit. He kept repeating in his head that Goro would be fine, and would remember, and come back to him, because if he didn't repeat that on purpose, then his own thoughts would fucking badger him about how Goro was never going to touch him or look at him again. Had to drown them out. Couldn't do it with booze, so he was fuckin' improvising.

Morgan scooted up to him, all wincing and pitying him, and patted his shoulder. Hey, man, you know, it'll be okay. That little nerd's crazy about you. She was trying to help, but it just made him feel fuckin' shitty. He didn't want her to try to make him feel better. Goro remembered her, and it just made him feel bitter and angry, and that wasn't ... fair. None of it was.

Get your shit together, commander.

He shrugged her off, muttering, and did rounds. Making sure everyone was accounted for. Everyone was safe. Larkin slipped off -- she still wasn't doing so hot, and it made him twitchy, because she'd slipped off before, and what if she wasn't really better? And Goro wasn't either, and none of them would be, and there was no way of getting Diva out of them, this time?

He repeated soothing thoughts to try to drown it out. He really wanted a fucking drink.

After a couple minutes he couldn't stand it anymore, and crept off after Larkin. Rest of them were good, anyway. Didn't need him. Nothing for him to do. Maybe Larkin just wanted to be alone, and she'd tell him to fuck off, but he needed to be goddamn sure -- that she was safe, that she was ... her.

Found her wedged in a little corner, wrapped around herself. Scratched up. She'd gotten healed up after the fight, so -- he frowned. Didn't get too close. Called over softly. "Hey. Larkin."

JEN

"Mhm." Larkin didn't look up. She'd heard Hansel approaching, could tell by his footsteps. She didn't want any company right now but as she opened her mouth to say so, she faltered. "Hey."

IZZY

He eased closer. Hadn't used up any magic in the fight, just a bit before, and he eyed the scratches on her arms. He could fix that. "You a'right? Just ... checkin' in."

JEN

"Uh-huh." Larkin shoved her face deeper between her arms. "I'm good."

IZZY

Yeah, sure. He closed the rest of the distance so he could sit down next to her, crossing his legs. If she were Goro, he'd drag her into a hug, but the two of them weren't made the same way. He carefully rested his hand on her shoulder, instead, and murmured in a language he didn't quite know how he knew, soothing the scrapes. Didn't say anything, for now. Didn't always have to.

JEN

"Urgh." She groaned while the scrapes healed, and lifted her face only to drag her hands across it. It was letting up, thus madness, but not near fast enough. "I- I'm so sorry," she said. She knew it hadn't been her fault but it felt necessary to say, somehow.

IZZY

"Hey," he said firmly. "Nah. You don't fuckin' got anything you need t'be sorry for." This was something he could do. Larkin was having a bad fucking time, and he could help, maybe. He could try.

To test it out, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him. Carefully, though. They weren't exactly cuddly, normally. Couldn't hurt, though.

JEN

Larkin went slack against Hansel's side, not really hugging back but also not fighting it. She didn't have the energy.

"It's fucking... ugh. God. Fuck." She wiped at her face again, fingernails digging in. "She made me mad. So fucking mad. I'm still... fuck. Fuck!"

IZZY

Hansel frowned. He wondered if it was like when Gruumsh got him -- when he could feel the rage pulsing through his body, the bloodlust, even though he didn't feel it in his head. Hadn't burned Larkin out, though.

"Hey. Here." He shifted his leg and pulled on her. "C'mon. Get up."

JEN

"What?" Larkin gave him the briefest glance from between her fingers.

IZZY

"C'mon," he repeated firmly. "Fuckin' fight me. Let's burn it off, if you're still feelin' it." He nudged her a little. "What, you think I can't take you?"

JEN

She grimaced. "I don't want to fight you. Just don't wanna fucking... god." She snarled wordlessly. "I hate her. Hate her so fucking much. And she made me hate you and it's not... it's not going away."

IZZY

"Aye, so c'mon," he coaxed. "You can't be fuckin' pissed if you're worn the fuck out, can you?"

JEN

"Don't know, man. What if I... y'know, what if it gets worse. I feel like... like fucking tearing someone apart."

IZZY

"Well, I'm fuckin' bigger than you," he pointed out. "You can try. You ain't gonna hurt me."

JEN

"Hansel." Larkin sighed. "I ain't gonna use you for a punching bag."

IZZY

He frowned at her for a moment, then sighed, too, and settled back in. "A'right," he said quietly. "Just ... I wanna help. Y'know?"

JEN

"Yeah. Thanks." She curled back up around herself, wishing she had indeed something to take out the rage on. Something that wasn't her friend.

IZZY

He gave her a tentative squeeze, not sure if that kinda thing worked on her. Maybe that was all the Voronin blood, and not any of the Basha.

JEN

She leaned into it, just a bit. Still felt fucking awful, though not being alone with it was... kinda better. Not good, but better.

She kept making frustrated noises, snarls and growls, and since Hansel wouldn't approve of her tearing up her arms, she snatched up some bones from underfoot and started snapping them as an outlet. Felt good. Too good.

IZZY

Hansel watched quietly, for a bit. Wished he could do that magic mending thing and fix the bones so she could snap them again. Give her some way to burn it out, keep going. Goro could do that.

"Goro remembered me," he said, without really meaning to. "Not the good shit, though. Doesn't want me around."

Ah, that wasn't Larkin's fucking problem. Shouldn't've said it.

JEN

Larkin snapped a last bone, then paused. She turned to look at him, confused. "Doesn't... what?"

IZZY

Reluctantly, he said, "Yeah. Didn't ... want me to touch him, or anything. Didn't wanna talk to me." He shrugged, and mumbled, "Sure he'll get better. Y'both will."

JEN

"That doesn't sound right. What the... what the fuck?"

IZZY

"Ain't like me an' him got along, when we first met." He felt weirdly defensive. "S'probably all he remembers."

Goro probably shouldn't want anything to do with him -- that was the thought that drifted through his head. Goro was good at reading people, and his first read of Hansel had been -- yeah, flinching away. Was reasonable. He was right. Just coming to his senses.

Except Hansel wasn't supposed to be fucking thinking that. He hung his head and ran a hand through his hair, growling, frustrated. "Sorry. You got your own shit to ... Sorry."

JEN

"No," Larkin said quickly, latching onto the distraction. "Shit, man. I'm sorry. That's... fucking-" She didn't know how to end, so she took another bone, tried to snap it, then hurled it against the wall when it held.

IZZY

"Aye. It's fucked," he admitted miserably. The whole snapping bones thing was starting to look pretty appealing. He picked up a rib and tested it in his hands. "He fuckin' ... he remembers Morgan Wyn. They were all cuddlin' an' shit. I ain't, y'know, a jealous person, or nothin', just ... s'fucked."

JEN

She made a face. "Fucking Wyn. He should- man, he knows you, he's been spending time with you even after he forgot everything." Larkin shook her head, frown deepening. "I'm gonna talk to him." She made to stand up.

IZZY

"Nah, nah," Hansel said quickly, dropping the rib to grab her arm. "Hey, it ain't -- it ain't his fuckin' fault, I mean, he ain't doin' it on purpose."

Goro'd been spending time with Wyn, too, anyway, and she'd been treating him right. Made him laugh and told him stories and shit. Maybe she was doing something Hansel wasn't.

"Probably my fuckin' fault, if it's anyone's," he mumbled.

JEN

"No," she said firmly and tugged at his grip. "Stop. Fuckin' no. You're his husband, for fuck's sake." And fucking Morgan Wyn wasn't fucking helping. Larkin felt the rage boil up again, making her want to hit the bitch and yell at Goro. Fuck.

IZZY

He tugged her back. "Yeah, well, he don't fuckin' remember that, so it don't matter, does it?"

JEN

"Like hell!"

IZZY

Hansel scowled.

JEN

"What?" Larkin gestured with her free hand. "You're just gonna take it? Just fuckin' sit here and tell yourself it's your fault?"

IZZY

"Aye, well, the fuck else am I supposed to do?" Hansel demanded, exasperated. "Can't fuckin' make him goddamn remember. There ain't shit I can do for him, an' fuck-all I can do for you, either. All I can fuckin' do is sit here."

JEN

"Well-" she retorted, as if that meant anything in and of itself, but faltered, hand clenched to a fist. "Well, you can let me go fucking talk to go him. How's that? He knows you're married, he'll fucking have to see there's gotta be a reason that fucking happened!"

IZZY

"Larkin, if you go fuckin' yellin' at him it's just gonna freak him out," he snapped. "What if he don't remember you, either, huh? An' all he knows in his gut is that you're some crazy dangerous bitch that attacked him in his sleep, an' ambushed us, and now you're fuckin' yellin' at him about me. Just fuckin' siddown. We're both goddamn useless."

JEN

Larkin deflated. Fuck. Hansel was right. She inhaled as if to say more but didn't, just shook her head, ran a hand through her hair, then sat down hard. She grabbed a handful of bones and flung them against the wall, making splinters spray the two of them.

IZZY

Hansel grumbled at the bones. He let go of her, though, and just sat with her, scowling.

"Just fuckin' hate it," he said, after a beat. "It's all fuckin' bullshit. We didn't solve shit when we went an' killed Anwyll. Made things fucking worse, is all."

JEN

"We didn't know," Larkin said, face in her hands again.

IZZY

"Yeah, well," he said, fucking sullen.

JEN

Larkin just sat for a long moment, silent. Then she shuffled over to sit beside Hansel again, leaning against him. Fucking Diva. They'd killed her, fucking killed her. What if she came back again...

IZZY

He looped his arm back around her, sort of automatically, still sulking.

"Fucking Diva," he muttered.

JEN

"Yeah."

IZZY

"Fucking warlock patrons, an' shit."

JEN

"It's bad," she said, sounding beat. "Fucking bad. Pride-- he's gonna fuck us over. I just know it."

IZZY

Hansel nodded morosely. "Aye. Don't trust that shit. S'like -- y'know, sometimes, when you got a bad fuckin' feeling about something, you turn out to be wrong, but it's high fuckin' stakes, this time, y'know?"

JEN

"Yeah. God... we're gonna have to kill another fucking demon."

IZZY

He groaned, leaning his head back against the cave wall. "Fuckin' ... Valkur. Aye, probably, eh. Add it to the goddamn list," he grumbled. "Eldritch abomination. Hydra. Goddamn snake. Same fuckin' abomination again. Dragon. God. Fuckin' demon."

JEN

"We ain't gonna get away with this forever," Larkin said glumly. "Someday it's gonna be over. If we keep pushing it."

IZZY

"Hey. Hey. Fuck that. Y'hear me? Nah. We'll fuckin kill whatever we gotta kill," he swore.

JEN

She just grumbled.

IZZY

He grumbled, too. "It's the shit we can't solve by killin' it that gets me worried."

JEN

"How do... how do other people do it. Just not get into this kinda shit. The fuck are we doing wrong?"

IZZY

Hansel shook his head slowly. "Keepin' bad company. Must be."

JEN

She looked up at him, and gently elbowed him in the side.

IZZY

He looked at her sidelong, and snorted and grinned a little.

JEN

"Fuck," she said and rubbed her eyes. "I'm fucking beat." The anger was slowly dulling to a vague tightness in her chest. Not as burning as before. Maybe she could sleep it off.

IZZY

"Fuckin' good," he said. He brought his hand up to ruffle her hair a bit, and leaned down to kiss the top of her head -- well, the nearest horn, anyway, 'cause it was what he could reach. Then he wasn't sure if he should've done that, since he didn't think he ever had before, except maybe when he was drunk as all hells, but eh. Fuck it. He squished her against him for good measure. "Get some fuckin' sleep, if you can. Probably feel better."

JEN

Larkin gave him a puzzled look at the kiss but didn't say anything. It was okay. Probably had a deficiency from his husband not wanting to be touched. She squeezed back for a moment, then got up. Should probably get her blanket and shit, and not sleep on the literal bare bones.

IZZY

Hansel stretched a bit, but didn't get up yet. "You plannin' on coming back, or you sleepin' in camp?"

JEN

"I, uh... don't think I should. Sleep in camp. I'll just get my blanket."

IZZY

"A'right." He settled back in. "I'll hang out."

JEN

Larkin came back a moment later with her pack in hand. She shoved aside some more bones so she could get settled in on her blanket, next to Hansel, backpack under her head.

IZZY

He scooted over closer to her. He kinda still wanted to hug her, but she'd probably think it was weird. Wasn't the kinda thing they really did. And he wanted to say it was 'cause he wanted to comfort her, but fuck it, they both knew it was because he was a cuddly bastard and he was the one who needed it.

So he just kinda huffed a little bit and got comfortable next to her, slouching against the cave wall. "Fuckin' caves," he muttered. "Feel better once we're outta here, too. Get some goddamn daylight."

JEN

Larkin nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, fuck this." She shifted, touching her back against Hansel's side. He was warm and the touch kind of reassuring... it'd be fine. She'd sleep and then it would be fine.

IZZY

He grunted in agreement and rested his arm against her. Couldn't fucking agree more.

Larkin vaguely recognized the place she woke up in.

It was Skyport, for sure -- a wide back alley, somewhere not too far from the harbour, judging by the air and call of sea birds. The birds didn't sound quite right, though. It sounded like just two or three calls, repeated over and over at a tempo that was supposed to sound natural, and almost did, but just fell short.

The alley was the same. It looked nearly right, but the bricks of the building were less chipped and faded than they should have been, and the shutters weren't so splintered, their paint brighter. Everything looked just a little less run down. A little newer. The cobbles underneath her, though, were clearly old as the city, cracked and patched with gravel, stained with blood here and there. Larkin had the sense that she knew what it was like to smash her face into those cracks as she went down, and how it smelled, up close, after the rain.

Her knuckles ached. Cloth was wrapped tight around her wrists and fingers to brace them, but her hands still felt heavy and sore under her brass knuckles.

And she remembered dreaming of the pale blue skinned tiefling before.

The alley flickered, behind him, in and out into black nothing, and the sky did the same overhead, like a memory barely being held onto. She was sitting on a crate, and he was bent to hold her face with one hand, dabbing at her split lip with a handkerchief with the other. There was no sign that anyone else existed here -- not even the birds.

"Can you hear me?" he whispered, desperate, looking between her lips and her eyes.

JEN

It took Larkin some moments to work through the confusion. She didn't answer him at first, just stared. Then she managed, "Do I know you?"

IZZY

"Nissa," he hissed. "It's me." He glanced around, like someone was watching. "You have to remember. You have to remember."

JEN

"That's not my name," she said and leaned back a bit. "The fuck?"

IZZY

"No, no no no," he said urgently, grabbing her shoulder to pull her back to where she'd been. "You have to stay still, stay still or he might see. He might notice. It's Aziz," he pleaded. "You have to remember, please."

JEN

"No. What?" She shook his hand off, almost out of reflex. "I'm not... you got the wrong person, man." She wondered if this was... more real than dreams were supposed to. Was she just having a conversation with herself or did someone actually get into her dreams? She couldn't tell.

IZZY

"Please." He looked around again anxiously. The fragmented alley around them flickered. The light -- which somehow seemed to emanate from the darkness beyond -- grew brighter. "Please just -- just be still, give me a chance."

JEN

Larkin scowled but sat still, wary.

IZZY

The light grew brighter, and he looked afraid. He went back to dabbing at her lip with his handkerchief.

"He has to think it's a memory," he whispered. "Just a normal memory. He can't know we're here."

JEN

"Who?"

IZZY

"Pride." His eyes widened. The light was brighter. "Oh, god, please, just ..."

JEN

"Just what? What do you want?"

IZZY

"I just want you back," he said, desperately, half broken. He leaned in to kiss her, but before their lips touched, the light became blinding.

Larkin woke on the cave floor next to Hansel.

JEN

She blinked at the cave ceiling, sure she'd just dreamt but also, it hadn't felt like a dream at all. Too real. The flickering of the alley still echoed in her vision and it took her a moment to orient herself.

Hansel was still there and Larkin grabbed his wrist to shake him awake.

IZZY

"Mm?" Hansel had been staring off into space, but not sleeping.

JEN

"Uh," Larkin said. "I just had a weird fucking dream."

IZZY

He narrowed his eyes and started sitting up straighter. "Diva dream?"

JEN

"No... no. Don't think it was." She rolled over to sit up as well. "There was..." She frowned. "Hey. Didn't Goro call Pride Aziz before? Did I make that up?"

IZZY

He settled a bit. "Uhh. S'what Sam calls him all the time, I think, yeah. That fucker dream at you?" he asked, puzzled.

JEN

"Ah. Uhm. Maybe." Larkin had to order her memories of the dream. It already got hazy. "There was a... person. He called himself Aziz and he called me... a name." She bit her lip in concentration. "Ah, fuck. Don't remember. Something with an s in it. He told me to not move or Pride would see, and... I don't know, man, it felt fucking real. Like, not dream-real."

IZZY

He mulled it over for a second, scowling, then muttered, "Fuckin' demons an' shit. Bet he's just fucking with you or somethin'."

JEN

"Yeah, what the fuck."

IZZY

"Bet Goro'd have somethin' smart t'say about it," he said, sullen.

JEN

"Yeah, uh. Maybe we shouldn't..." Larkin mulled it over. "Everyone else has fucking fallen for that asshole, though. Mishka? What about Mishka?"

IZZY

"Uhh." Hansel grimaced.

JEN

"What?"

IZZY

"Yeah, prob'ly not." He grumbled to himself. "Fuckin' Wyn don't like him."

JEN

Larkin groaned.

IZZY

He scowled a bit. "Dunno. Goro likes Sam, mostly. An' he's spent the most time talkin' with Pride. Raef don't like him, I think, s'just that he's helpin' with Anwyll, I guess."

JEN

"Maybe I'm gonna just ask Pride about it. What the fuck he thinks he's doing." Sounded like not such a good idea said out loud but damn if Larkin didn't want it.

IZZY

Hansel shrugged. "Yeah, why fuckin' not, aye?"

JEN

She snorted. "What can possibly go wrong."

IZZY

He snorted back.

JEN

"Motherfucker," she muttered, lying back down. "Fucking hate it."

IZZY

"Aye," he grumbled, settling in next to her. "Fuckin' sucks."

[END]