Appendix H

## Date

Monday, 9/14/2020, 3:00 pm

**Length:** 1:46:21

## Title

**The Day Josh And Mary Debated Degrees Of Perfection And Went Longer Than They Planned Because There Were Two Birthday Songs, Some Showtunes And Dessert-Eating Viewers In Italy, Among Other Things**

## Link

Facebook Video: https://facebook.com/789289618575467

## Noteworthy Details

Regular Episode

**Location:** Living Room

**Secret Surprise Special Guest:** TBA

## Quotes and Taglines:

* “That’s what I do if I don’t know the request — I toss it to the wind. Jay Em keeps requesting the same song that I keep refusing to play. It’s like a staring contest; it’s like a game of chicken. It’s like a chicken staring contest. What if two chickens were staring at each other?” (on repeated request for Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 in C-Sharp Minor by Franz Liszt)
* “It’s kind of nice having the beat in the background as I read the chat and make dumb comments.”
* “I’m gonna fake it. Ready?” (on Hernando’s Hideaway)
* “I want to throw a hat in the ring for Hocus Pocus by Focus (as the new birthday song). The way to do it…it’s grass roots, guys. You just have to start doing it at birthday parties, or when it’s somebody’s birthday. Or like you’re on a Zoom call at work and they’re like, ‘Oh hey, it’s Stan from accounting and today’s his birthday.’ And then everybody’s gonna start (singing), “Happy birthday…” Nope, you just cut right in: ‘Happy birthday, Stan. Happy birthday, Stan. Happy birthday…Stan from accounting.’ Trust me on this. It’s gonna work, and it’s gonna be glorious.”
* “Neko’s never gonna come on this show, you guys. She’s way too big time for us. I mean, she’s lovely and she’s awesome and she’s down to earth and she’s a superstar. I love her so much, I love her music, I love her whole thing, but...like, we’re gonna get Mahatma Gandhi on the show before we get Neko Case. You know what I’m sayin’?”
* “Kristine KMR Fake Last Name Traffic Light Hot Dog is gonna have a caprese sandwich for dinner based on my suggestion. And think of baseball when you eat it, and think of me — if you want to. You don’t have to. Sometimes you can’t control what you think of. I certainly can’t…oof!”
* “Somebody asked for this song earlier; I don’t remember who. I don’t remember how it goes, either. I have played it before; I think I played on the show even.” (on Moondance)
* “I don’t love show tunes, but I love you guys, so I’m doing this for you.” (on Till There Was You)
* “Eh, I’ll take it. Good enough.” (on Summer Wind)
* “If I can nail this, I’ll be so overly and undeservedly pleased with myself…” [Then, after nailing it] “That’s all I remember, but that’s exciting. I’m a little pleased with myself — I’m not overly pleased — (but) I’m a little pleased.” (on Breakfast Machine from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure)
* “This song deserves to be played correctly, right? Wouldn’t you say? The other songs that I play for you guys, they’re all crap. But this song…” (on Yesterday)
* “There may not be degrees of perfection or degrees of mediocrity, but there are degrees of humiliation — and I know. If anyone knows, it’s me.” (on being afraid he might mess up Take Me Out To The Ballgame because he hadn’t played it in a while)

## Baseball Cards of the Week

* Ken Griffey Sr. and Ken Griffey Jr.: [placeholder]

## Album of the Week

* Stevie Wonder – Fulfillingness’ First Finale

## Hatter or No-Hatter?

* Hatter

**Previous: Appendix G | Next: Appendix I.1**