199: Will, You So Rarely Lie To Me

## Summary

The party stop at Crumplemeyer's Fine Food and discuss how to meet Ricardo Ulysses on their own turf. Batthwack attempts to clear the air with Will, and fails. He challenges Will on his request to Curtis to gain information on *"Yarjerit"*, which Batthwack reveals is the name of his clan, from which he is currently excommunicado.

## Synopsis

The party are attempting to solve the final puzzle and are making their way to a spot between the paper mills, when they arrive at Crumplemeyer's Fine Food restaurant. Will is there too, still in his disguise as Leonard. They recognise him from the post office the day before. When Will introduces himself as Leonard, Batthwack stifles a snort. At the sight of a proper restaurant Will can't hide his excitement, so Gwen offers him one of her sticky bricks, to which he is visibly disgusted. Raphina senses something fishy and Will realising the game is up, reveals it's him.

They all go in, leaving Steed outside. The maitre d' counts them up: "Party of seven. Alright. Hm..." He offers them a room in the back and leads them through. Dew, thinking about the last puzzle is taking note of the ceilings. He asks them if they would like still or sparkling water and everyone except Will is slightly non-plussed. He's also very excited by the sight of cloth napkins. A waiter bring a large tray of glasses, serves everyone and leaves in a very efficient manner.

Will is still anxious about being spied on, so starts to casually check the room for interlopers but finds nothing. They discuss how to make sure Ricardo Ulysses doesn't slip through their fingers if they meet him in the cave. Mo asks what Batthwack thinks, as he's the "king" according to him. Gwen is shocked and Will disputes this. Gwen describes the cave to the rest of the party, explaining that they'd need a reason to be there as they'd be questioned by the paper mill workers there. Batthwack suggests solving the puzzles so they can meet with Crumplemeyer and find out more about the paper making process.

Gwen explains to the group that she is determined to catch Ricardo Ulysses because he stole from her, which is fundamentally wrong. She says *"He is evil and must be punished."* Will obviously finds this offensive. Raphina asks if it's still wrong if it's the only thing you're good at. Gwen isn't convinced and thinks you could be good at something else. Raphina says that Ricardo Ulysses entertains people with his stealing.

The group change the subject and discuss the sparkling water. Will gets up and starts to circle the room again. He pick-pockets a piece of candy from Gwen and idly starts to unwrap it and eat it in front of her. Will asks if anyone noticed that and everyone was oblivious. Gwen realises what's happened but doesn't seem angry, she's mainly just pleased he's eaten something. The group go back to their discussion about Ricardo and Will attempts to steal another candy. However Batthwack slips the pen he bought for Will at the stationary store into Will's hand. He gives it back to Gwen who is confused. Batthwack explains it's actually a gift for Will and he gives him the special paper too. Will is really confused why Batthwack is suddenly being nice to him and is convinced he has some ulterior motive. Gwen starts giving out candy to everyone.

The waiter comes in and asks if they're ready to order. Raphina orders pain perdu and a side of sour cream. Dew asks what the waiter would have and he recommends a plate of eggs, a side of bacon and toast. Gwen orders a very rare (i.e. raw) steak. Mo orders rare fish, also uncooked. Batthwack asks how much the salmon is (it's 1 gold) and orders it. Will orders bacon, sausage, poached eggs, hash browns, coffee, orange juice, heavy cream and lots of sugar. Hilula orders scrambled eggs and bacon.

The party discuss whether Ricardo would seek them out if they didn't show up at the Lichen Caves. They wonder about waiting at Celestial Confections so they could be ready for him. They discuss what magic they could use to control Ricardo and when Gwen hears that Ricardo casts magic she says she has the ability to *Detect Magic* and *Counterspell*. Raphina offers her *Tiny Hut* spell.

Batthwack wants to clear the air regarding his outburst at Will earlier, about the things he'd read in Will's letter to Curtis. There was another coded reference that he didn't understand, where Will writes that he's going to *"fence Yarjerit"*. Batthwack reveals that Yarjerit is his clan name, a name which unusually for a dragonborn, he doesn't go by. He bluntly says he doesn't want to talk about that name any more. Batthwack asks *"What are you going to do in Gully's End, Will?"* Will says he's not going there and tells them that "fence" just means to find out more about something. Batthwack asks if Will is sending someone else to Gully's End and Will avoids the question, saying that he shouldn't be reading private letters. Batthwack is visibly losing his composure. His fists are clenched and his teeth are bared. He repeats the question. "What are you doing in Gully's End?" Gwen asks about Batthwack's clan name, and he says "Never repeat it again." He asks Will again if he's sending someone to Gully's End and Will lies, saying no. Gwen tries to reassure Batthwack, saying that she doesn't use her clan name either. Batthwack warns Will to tread carefully if he is sending some to his home, that his actions might have consequences that he can't control. Will tries to push it back on Batthwack, saying he's is being very secretive about his *kingly complex*. Gwen very pointedly addresses Will, stating that if a dragonborn leaves their clan on bad terms it's not something anyone should meddle with.

In an attempt to diffuse the situation Raphina casts *Fog Cloud* and the rooms fills with fog. Before his vision is obscured the last thing Will sees is two glowering dragon eyes staring at him.

Will repeats again that he's not sending anyone to Gully's End (which we know is a lie, listeners), but Batthwack still isn't wholly convinced. Dew asks Will what was in the letter and he says it contained instructions on *"how to take care of my town, because when you are someone in the position that I'm in and you leave, suddenly everything could fall apart"*. Will admits that he asked for information about Batthwack, but tries to justify that by saying that Batthwack's introduction to the group was highly suspicious, *"He shows up, he says the good among us have nothing to fear. What kind of fucking shit is that?"* He points out that Batthwack is just as suspicious of him, having cast *Zone of Truth* on him multiple times. He says it's fair to want to know a little more about someone who is supposed to be escorting him across the whole of Six Rivers. Gwen says that some people are just nice, but Will makes the distinction between "nice" and "good" and says *"Who is he to judge who I am? Because that's what I've been fighting this whole fucking time."* Batthwack assures Will he's not going to harm him, to which Will responds *"I know you're not going to harm me, because we have a contract in place that if you do, you have to give me that necklace."* Batthwack says that what they're talking about is bigger than any of that and if he can't trust Will, that's why he needs to know what's going on. He suggests Will write another letter calling off whatever actions he's requested and he slides the card stock he bought in the stationary store across the table to Will. He remains resolutely in self-defense mode though, saying he thinks it's fair to want to know more about each other and that maybe they'd be doing a background check on him if they didn't just assume the best of him. Gwen would like everyone to respect each other in terms of those things in their background that they'd rather not share, but Will says he does not work like that.

At that moment, the doors swing open and the waiter comes into the fog cloud, which Raphina hurriedly disperses.

## Quotes

* *"Who is he to judge who I am? Because that's what I've been fighting this whole fucking time."* - Will (referring to Batthwack's infamous greeting *"The good among you have nothing to fear."*)

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Batthwack, who was speaking to Will following two failed attempts to beat his deception rolls (and many more in the preceding episodes).

## References

1. ↑ Listener, the last unsolved puzzle was: *"Look high and low, but mostly high. Add A + B with your eye to the green and purple sky."*
2. ↑ Eric describes the ceilings as having a "popcorn stucco" finish