The Lawsons' Ancestor

The 3rd episode of Life of a Hugh.

Next episode: First Day of School

## Synopsis

For his college application essay, Hugh has to write an essay about an ancestor of his choice. He chooses his great, great, great, great, great, great grandmother, Zhan Tiri after reading about her in her diary he kept as a child. Trouble comes when Zhan Tiri comes to 2015 to pay a little visit to the Lawsons.

## Character Appearances

* Hugh Lawson
* Alana Lawson
* Amanda Lawson
* Angela Lawson
* Abby Lawson
* Anna Lawson
* Alison Lawson
* Ashley Lawson
* Audrey Lawson
* Amber Lawson
* Alicia Lawson
* Aaron Lawson
* Hannah Lawson
* Zhan Tiri
* Howie Parsons
* Tomas Hillridge
* Jimmy Bassett
* Eric Brown
* Alan Nelson
* Brett Edwards

## Transcript

1 month later, Hugh was in the school library thinking about what to write for his college application essay about his ancestors.

Tomas, Jimmy, Eric, Alan, and Brett entered.

Tomas: Hugh! We have some exciting news!

Hugh: Can’t it wait? I can’t think of any ancestor for this college application essay!

Tomas: I know. But Stefanie McClair, THE most popular girl in school asked ME to the prom!

Hugh: And that’s supposed to excite me how, exactly?

Alan: Well, my science partner, Lindsay and I have really been hitting it off! So we’re going to the prom too!

Eric: And I met this southern babe from Texas at the park yesterday. I gotta get her number so I can invite her to prom.

Brett: And my new boyfriend, Stephen. Yeah, you know Stephen, right? He’s taking me on a merry go round before prom!

Hugh: One thing you should know about Stephen, Brett-

Jimmy: And the head cheerleader, Kimmy texted me and asked me to prom. But wait… I thought she already had a boyfriend…

Tomas: So, are you taking anyone, Hugh?

Hugh: Uhhh… the new girl. Lisa.

Tomas: Really?

Brett: I don’t remember that.

Hugh: Ugh. Just forget it. I don’t have anyone to take me!

Brett: I could set you up with Stephen’s older sister, Katie.

Hugh: Well, she’s not really my type. And besides, I’m really busy with this college essay about my ancestors. I don’t know any of my ancestors!

Tomas: What about that diary I always see you reading during English class?

Hugh looked at the book on the table by him that said “My greatest adventures! A tale by Zhan Tiri!” on the cover.

Hugh: I think I see where you’re going with this, Tomas! Mom DID say Zhan Tiri was “close to us” many times! You’re a genius!

Tomas: Well, I am that! We’ll catch you later, Hugh!

Brett: Good luck with the essay!

His friends left.

Hugh: Oh, I am TOTALLY writing about her! I bet if Zhan Tiri were alive today, she’d LOVE this essay!

~ ~ ~

After school, Hugh rushed inside excitedly.

His sisters and parents noticed this.

Hannah: Well, what happened today?!

Aaron: We haven’t seen you this excited since the time when Boy Meets World got a spin-off!

Hugh: I found motivation for my essay! It’s about Zhan Tiri, our ancestor...remember!?

Audrey: Ugh, Zhan Tiri?! You couldn’t have written about someone cool like the Queen of England?

Hugh: But the queen is only 68 years old...and not related to us.

Alicia: But are you sure the information in the little diary of hers you have is legit?

Hugh: It is! It was written by Zhan Tiri herself back in 1500 when she was trapped in the Lost Realm and later on, when a fearless girl named Cassandra rescued our poorly treated ancestor from that place.

Alana: Bored already. Meanwhile, Howie and I have been discussing where we’re going out to eat for prom…

Howie: I already had it planned. An international buffet with everything in it! English, American, Chinese, Japanese, French, Italian, Thai, Indian, and Mexican!

Alana: Yeah! It opened up a month ago!

Hugh: Meanwhile, the only person in this house who wants to go to college must get started on this essay about our ancestor who’s done more than go to silly proms!

Hugh left.

Alana: He’s just jealous!

~ ~ ~

After a while, Hugh finished his essay and rushed to the living room with Zhan Tiri’s diary, where his sisters were watching TV.

Hugh: I finished the essay! It’s absolutely perfect!

Amber rolled her eyes and paused the TV.

Amber: I finally got our other sisters to watch Hannah Montana. What is SO important?

Hugh: Hello! My essay’s done! I just used her diary for inspiration!

Suddenly, lightning could be heard outside.

Hugh: That’s strange…

Alicia: I know. Did you all hear that?

Zhan Tiri flashed into the Lawson home.

Alana: Oh my god, who are you?!

Hugh looked up from his book.

Hugh: Alana... It's our ancestor. From this book.

Zhan Tiri: Yes, yes! I'm Zhan Tiri. I know exactly who you all are.

Alicia: I highly doubt that. Besides, where did you come from?

Zhan Tiri: I've been observing you for months. Hugh, is it true you're the only one of your friends who didn't get a date to the prom?

Hugh looked shocked.

Hugh: How did you know that?! Yeah, I'm not going! Tomas is taking the most popular girl in school. Alan's bringing his science partner. Eric is bringing some girl he met at the park. Brett is bringing his boyfriend, who I don't trust at all! And Jimmy is taking the head cheerleader. I honestly can't stand being single!

Audrey: I told you you need a haircut! No girl will fall for someone with such long, hideous hair.

Hugh: There's nothing wrong with my hair! Besides, Zhan Tiri, who are you REALLY? And why are you here?

Zhan Tiri: I came to give you a warning. Hugh, your sisters will hate you forever. Alana, you and Howie will break up because Howie isn't taking your relationship seriously. Amanda, you'll never become a famous artist - instead you'll be spending all your twenties drawing on Microsoft Paint making no money at all. Angela, you'll break your leg next year during your football tournament and give up sports. Abby, you'll die a grim death caused by suicide. Anna, you'll get grounded for playing video games forever after you refused to attend the Queen's conference with your parents. Alison, your audience will turn on you and no longer think you're funny. Ashley, you'll meet 4 girls who pick on you and pretend to be your friend so they can turn you girly. Audrey, your friends will all turn on you because you're such a bully. Amber, Katy Perry will invite you to sing with her on stage...

Amber looked excited.

Zhan Tiri: But then you'll get serious stage fright and Katy Perry writes a diss song about you. And finally, Alicia, you and Ben won't end up a couple. In fact. He'd rather be friends. Not to mention, you don't go to Harvard. You go to some community college in Royal Woods, where your brother will also attend.

Hugh: I am NOT going to college with my sister! Get real. And HOW do you know all of this?

Zhan Tiri: Simple. I'm a powerful entity who can see your futures and your pasts.

Abby: But...but...why would I kill myself?

Zhan Tiri: You fall into a deep, deep, deep depression when your pet bat dies.

Abby: But... I don't have a pet bat!

Anna: And no offense, Zhan Tiri... But you don't know our parents. I once stayed up ALL night to watch the Kick-Ass movies, and ditched school the next day and they only took away my cell phone!

Amanda: And I'm a skilled artist! How can you just say I'll be at home drawing... Crap!

Audrey: And I am NOT a bully! Zhan Tiri, you are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO going to suffer!

Audrey's siblings stared at her.

Audrey (grumbling): Ugh, fine. I see your point.

Amber: And I WILL be in one of Katy Perry's music videos to finally cement my career as top teen pop star! I'll be the next Hannah Montana!

Alicia: And how do you possibly know I'll get rejected from Harvard? And HOW do you possibly know about Ben?!

Alana: Howie and I will stay together forever. Period. Nothing will tear us apart!

Hugh: And my sisters will never hate me! Sure I may pick on you guys sometimes, but you still love me...

Hugh's sisters glared at him.

Hugh: Fine! But when I move out and become a college professor and you all are at home mooching off Mom and Dad for money, don't call me!

Ashley: And I'm never going to become a girly girl! Nobody can change me!! NOBODY!

Alison: And I'm hilarious! I got a bunch of likes already on my new YouTube channel!

Angela: And one broken leg will NEVER make me give up sports! I'm invincible!

Hugh: So please, if you think you can lie to us and pretend we'll have a grim future, Zhan Tiri, you're surely messing with the wrong family.

Zhan Tiri: Believe me. It's true. Would your great, great, great, great, great grandmother lie to you?

Hugh: And another thing! HOW do you know US if you died centuries ago, or so you were supposed to...

Zhan Tiri: That book you were reading summoned me here. I just wanted to see you bright kids and tell you all you'll have bright futures. I must be going, but I'll be sure to catch up with you 11 very soon.

Zhan Tiri left the Lawson home and grinned evilly.

Zhan Tiri: I can't believe those fools fell for it. I am NO psychic and I could care less about them all!

She ran off quickly, unknowingly dropping missing pages of her diary in the Lawsons’ front yard.

~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, the Lawsons were still shaken up by the visit from Zhan Tiri.

Hugh: I still don’t get WHAT just happened. HOW is our around a million year old ancestor STILL alive? She was born in the actual dark ages!

Alana: And HOW did she know Howie and I won’t be together?! I can’t live without my Howie-bae!

Hugh: She probably can tell where things will go… You and Howie just...don’t seem like a good fit.

Alana looked mad.

Alana: EXCUSE me, Hugh! I happen to think in the next three years, Howie and I will be engaged!

Hugh: Or broken up forever.

Alana glared at Hugh.

Amanda: But I will be a famous artist… Won’t I?

Amber: You definitely won’t. I’m sorry, but if you can’t even get Katy Perry’s outfit on the cover of 2010’s Seventeen magazine right, then you’re untalented! And don’t have a good eye for detail!

Amanda: Come on, Amber! I thought you liked my art!

Amber: Not anymore! I agree with Hugh. It’s horrendous!

Angela: And I don’t believe ANYONE who’d say I’d break my leg in a sports game. I don’t care if she’s our ancestor!

Alicia: Well, you are kind of uncoordinated in cheerleading. Ya couldn’t even be a flyer without knocking the other girls on the squad down!

Angela was furious.

Angela: HOW DARE YOU!?!

Alicia: Well, you can’t argue with science…

Abby: And am I really that depressed enough to kill myself over A BAT?! I don’t even have a bat! Where’d Zhan Tiri get that idea from?

Just then, Aaron came in with a little cage.

Aaron: Abby, I have something to make it up to you for accidentally shredding your poems. I thought it was junk mail!

Abby: DAD! You shredded my poems?!

Aaron: I’m sorry. Have this new pet bat to make you feel better.

Aaron handed the cage to Abby and left.

Abby opened up the cage and the bat came out flying.

Abby: Awww, isn’t he adorable?! I’m going to name you Drac!

Alana looked confused.

Abby: Short for Dracula.

Hugh: And what do you think would happen if Drac passed away?

Abby burst into tears.

Abby: I’d be devastated! Thanks a lot, Hugh!

Anna: And I don’t care if I get grounded! I’ll still play video games at Andy’s house! He has ALL the games!

Alison: OH, Andy, HUH?! He’s such a jerk!

Anna: And who asked you?

Alison: Yeah, that twit didn’t get my pun about fission. Ya go fishing!

Alicia: You are not smart enough for that pun.

Alison: Oh, really?! And my audience WON’T turn against me. I bet that Zhan Tiri hasn’t even cracked a joke in her life! Let alone have ANYONE tell her she’s funny!

Alicia: She lived a million years… She just might have more experience with comedy than YOU.

Alison: Why don’t we ask her?! That is. If she were still here!

Ashley: And I find it hard to believe I’d make friends who want to change me. And my friends have never picked on me, so WHERE did Zhan Tiri get that from?

Audrey: Puh-lease! Look at you! Your friends would be doing you a favor!

Ashley: Says the bully who doesn’t have any friends because you’re so mean to everyone!

Audrey: Oh, really?! Name one person I was ever mean to.

Ashley: Well. You’re mean to our whole family, you’re mean to Ms. Smith, you’re mean to all the kids in our class… You were even mean to Zhan Tiri when she told you you’re mean. Let’s face it. You’ll never get any true, long-lasting friends. I however, might because I actually care about others.

Audrey grumbled.

Amber: And let’s face it, I’ll be a pop sensation! Katy Perry will be PROUD of me. And I never get stage fright.

Hugh: Really, Amber? When you sang for Tomas’ sweet 16, you almost peed your pants!

Hugh snickered.

Hugh: Oh wait. You did.

Amber: You try singing for the US president, the Queen of England, an old guy who lives in Corona, Tomas’ parents, you, Jimmy, Eric, Alan, Brett, Jimmy’s dad, Eric’s parents, Alan’s grandmother, and Brett’s mom?! I mean, I stayed up all night the night before thinking of the perfect melody! I want to impress people.

Hugh: Oh, sure. You impressed people. You made them snort milk out their noses.

Amber began crying.

Alicia: And I do NOT have a crush on BEN!

Amber: I’ve seen all those equations with “<3 Alicia” signed on them all. You were going to give them to Ben!

Alicia blushed.

Alicia: Uh...uh...uh… No! I’m giving them to Mother for Mother’s day.

Amber: All a thousand of them?

Alicia: FINE! I admit it! But WHY do you care?

Amber: Cause I thought you should know that Ben hates math. He’s a history kind of guy.

Alicia looked discouraged.

Alicia: D’oh! I knew that! No wonder he’ll break my heart! And no wonder I’m not smart enough for Harvard!

Audrey: And you can’t even make a sandwich. Harvard won’t accept that!

Alicia: You try cutting the bread into perfect triangles! It just crumbles!

Audrey rolled her eyes.

Audrey: Mmmhmmm...

Alicia: You know what?! -

All the Lawsons began fighting, except Hugh.

Hugh: Guys! Guys! Guys! Cut it out! I smell a rat. And it isn’t Audrey this time.

Audrey looked confused, then realized exactly what Hugh said.

Audrey: Hey!

Hugh: I’m serious! We should find out what’s going on. My essay turned out flawlessly! However, I can’t send it until I locate the Royal Woods Community College’s mailing address. And I noticed many of the pages of Zhan Tiri’s diary pages are MISSING. Mostly towards the end during 1501. Did she do anything else? And what about the years after? She was still alive.

He turned to Alicia.

Hugh: Cause your friend, Ben knows of a Zhan Tiri from 1521 who suddenly vanished.

Alicia gasped.

Alicia: He DID mention that once!

Hugh: So… Maybe Zhan Tiri’s whole story isn’t even IN her diary.

Alana: But where could it be?

Just then, Hannah entered with some torn papers.

Hannah: Angela, what did I tell you about trying to throw away your homework?!

Hannah tossed the papers to Angela.

Angela: But this isn’t mine!

Hannah already left.

Angela looked closely at the papers.

Angela: Gross! It's from an old-timey book! I deal with that crud every day during history class!

Hugh grabbed the papers from Angela.

Hugh: It’s not JUST from a book. It’s the missing pieces of Zhan Tiri’s diary!

Abby: Wait! Can I see?

Hugh turned away suddenly.

Hugh: No. I might need them for something.

Abby: Need them for what?

Hugh: None of your business!

Hugh ran off with the papers.

Audrey: How RUDE! And people say I’M a bully!

~ ~ ~

Hugh rushed to his room.

He could see Zhan Tiri on his bed.

Hugh: Zhan Tiri? What are you doing here?

Zhan Tiri: You seem to have something that BELONGS to me…

Hugh: And what would that be?

Zhan Tiri: My diary. And the pages that go in it. I’ve been looking for that for CENTURIES! And I wrote in that thing since I was a little girl!

Hugh: But you ARE a little girl!

Zhan Tiri: I am a 1 million year old shape-shifting enchantress! I’ve stayed young my entire life!

Hugh: Not according to the missing page on page 266! You were once a… grandmother!

Zhan Tiri: I was not! Well. At least I didn’t LOOK like one!

Hugh: Then explain all those wrinkles you drew on yourself on the same page!

Zhan Tiri: Again. I’m a shape-shifter. I can possess any form.

Hugh: Very well. But what explains why you manipulated some girl around my age to take something called… A moonstone?

Zhan Tiri pretended to look confused.

Zhan Tiri: That girl… That girl… I don’t know who you’re talking about.

Hugh: The name Cassandra ring a bell? Varian? You wrote pages and pages and pages about them suffering. Them paying for what they did to you. And how you wanted to destroy their children? And all of Corona?

Zhan Tiri: Well, well, well. Look who’s a smart little boy…

Hugh: Uh. I’m 17.

Zhan Tiri: And I’m a million. To me, you’re little.

Hugh: What are you REALLY, Zhan Tiri? I thought I knew everything about you. Looks like I don’t.

Zhan Tiri: Oh, I am so sorry we won’t be able to get to know each other…

Hugh: Say what?!

Zhan Tiri: I have to go feed hungry puppies in Alabama. And on your desk is a cookie to show you my love for you.

Hugh looked skeptical as Zhan Tiri flashed out.

Hugh (to himself): Hungry puppies in Alabama? Yeah right…

Hugh noticed the cookie.

Hugh: I see she made it all purple and into the shape of a heart. How sweet.

Hugh took a bite out of the cookie and then collapsed in his bed.

~ ~ ~

A while later, the other Lawsons were beside Hugh in his bed.

Aaron: Hugh, Hugh.

Hannah: Wake up, sweetie.

Audrey screamed into a bullhorn.

Hugh woke up terrified.

Hugh: AUDREY!? WHAT THE HECK?!

Audrey: Sorry…

Alicia: What happened to you?

Hugh: I had this strange dream. Our ancestor, Zhan Tiri came and told us terrible things about our futures.

Alana: Who?

Amanda: I don’t know a Zhan Tiri…

Abby: Well, I actually do. She was our greatest ancestor.

Alison: I think I’m familiar with her as well.

Aaron: Besides, Hugh, you got a letter from the Royal Woods Community College…

Aaron handed Hugh a letter as the rest of the Lawsons left.

Hugh opened it.

It said: Thank you for that amazing, creative essay about your ancestor, Zhan Tiri. We’ll be happy to see you thrive at Royal Woods Community College next year!

Hugh looked confused. He didn’t send the essay yet.

He looked on the back of the letter.

It said: PS. Hugh, I went to your dream college to give them your essay. You have a real gift in writing. Love, your ancestor - Zhan Tiri.

Hugh smiled. Zhan Tiri SAVED his life. If only he could thank her now.

Hugh (to himself): I KNEW they’d like the essay!