House No. 1: Presentable

Art by Andrew Mercator

## Content Warnings

* Violence
* Physical assault
* Body horror
* Parental themes
* Cannibalism
* Gore sfx

> It can be tough living with your parents.
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## Episode Summary

### Intro

The Narrator introduces the listener to Little Street with it's lovely, little houses and lovely, little birds that seem to be patiently waiting for something to happen.

### House No. 1

#### Appearance

House No. 1 is the first house on Little Street. It is described as "broad and stout, enamel white on the outside - but fading to a respectable yellow with age". The lawn beside it hosts a small collection of garden gnomes. The door of house No. 1 is thick and has been painted a deep green, the house number is screwed in a silver, serif font to the centre. Beyond the front door, there is a short hallway leading to living room and kitchen. And, in the middle of it, there is a stain.

#### Story

House No. 1 is home to Dorothy, her husband Robert, and their teenage daughter Agatha. While the rest of the family heads to work and school, Dorothy makes a to do list for her day. Like every day, she makes sure there is not a speck of dust in the house, as it wouldn't do for her not to keep up appearances. Then, she heads to the butchers, where she buys meat from Sam. Unlike every day, she asks Sam to bring by "the rest of it" after dark. Back home, Dorothy proceeds to clean up Agatha's room a little, outfitted with pink rubber gloves and a matching respirator mask, "just as a precaution."

Her family soon returns home. Upon discovering her room, Agatha screams about it being messed up. Her parents prepare dinner. It is supposed to be a special one, and Dorothy made fruitcake for the occasion. The food they prepared is bland and tough, but this does not come as a surprise to Agatha, as it is that way every day. Also not surprising is that her parents do not eat - they never do, instead choosing to turn their food into mush. A deviation from their usual routine is the fruitcake, which Dorothy and Robert dissect similarly. They spare the royal icing, as they know Agatha enjoys it, and give it to her.

While they are having dessert, it knocks. Robert opens the door to reveal Sam and "a shuddering, blubbering mess of a person, with wide yellow eyes and a jaw full over with drool that didn’t fit shut". Birds have gathered on the house's fence. The person Sam brought sniffs the air and, when the gleam in their eyes changes, Agatha runs. She trips and the person grabs her leg but doesn't yet engage further, instead looking to Sam as if unsure how to proceed. That changes when Dorothy, after proclaiming that this is taking too long and "what will the neighbours think", steps closer and opens a little slice on Agatha's forehead. The person begins to drink Agatha's blood with no regard to her fighting back.

After a moment in which Agatha is sure she will die, she starts fighting back again. She is successful this time and goes so far as to bite open the person's carotid artery. This is what causes the stain between kitchen and living room. Her father opens a door under the stairs and Agatha tumbles in, dragging her prey with her. By the time she is let out, after months of picking the darkness clean of life, Agatha emerges reborn, changed. And hungry.

## References to this Episode

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

* Agatha is referenced in House No. 13: Triskaidekaphilia by Aaron, who regards her as a friend and is worried about her sudden disappearance
* The happenings in House No. 1 become relevant again in House No. 19: Date Night, which centers around Sam. Of the inhabitants, only Dorothy appears.
* Agatha appears again in House No. 20: Listener.
* Agatha is alluded to in House No. 21: The Wilbur Room, where it is said that she is leaning against the front wall. The inhabitants speculate it is to avoid her friend.

## After Credits Bit:

Today’s yard sign says “Vote for the unimaginable horror of telling someone the honest truth about the core of yourself and having them act as though you’d commented on the weather. And their running mate, the literal Christian rapture.”