Grow Up

**Grow Up** is an episode of Angiosperm.

## Transcript

* (Continuing off of the last episode, a large blue cell approaches.)
* Blue Cell: It is I, Dimensional Cell!
* Angiosperm: Ah! What do we do? Are you going to teleport me to another dimension or something?
* Dimensional Cell: Nah, man, you cool.
* Angiosperm: Oh.
* Dimensional Cell: I came here from an asteroid near Vorton, the foundation of-
* Meco: WAIT IS THAT SEAWEED?
* Angiosperm: No, we're still too small to find seaweed, that's a large flake of algae-
* Meco: SEAWEED!
* Angiosperm: Okay, fine, it's "seaweed", if you want me to call it that.
* (Cruncher swims in.)
* Cruncher: Ruff, ruff!
* Tim: Everyone, hide!
* Dimensional Cell: I come from the foundation of the universe! There is no need for me to-
* (Cruncher charges through and the four of them hide behind a piece of rubble.)
* Angiosperm: Why are we hiding, again? I killed one of these guys without breaking a sweat once. And that was BEFORE my growth spurt!
* Tim: Oh, right, my bad.
* (Dimensional Cell sticks his proboscis into Cruncher.)
* Cruncher: Bow wow!
* Dimensional Cell: I vant to zuck your zlime out of you.
* (Cruncher's cytoplasm is drained by Dimensional Cell, causing him to deflate.)
* Dimensional Cell: All in a day's work!
* Meco: Hey wait, what about that green plant?
* (A gigantic Sluggy eats it whole.)
* Meco: Damn Sluggies.
* Angiosperm: Yum, he sure looks delicious!
* Meco: ...you have really weird taste, Ang, you know that, right?
* Angiosperm: I'm a carnivore in a pool of this primal soup or whatever this sh\*t is, show some respect.
* Tim: Wait, carni-vore! It has vore in it! Ha ha!
* Angiosperm: Yeah, really funny, Timbs. Let's try and get some food that won't get eaten the second we reach it.
* Dimensional Cell: It's really unlikely we'll find any, in that case.
* Unknown Cell: What the \*\*\*\* be up, biatches?
* Angiosperm: Hey, this is a PG-13 show show, so no cursing.
* Unknown Cell: Come on, I bleeped dat sh\*t!
* Meco: Who are you, anyway?
* Unknown Cell: Hughmongous. Jimbo Hughmongous.
* Tim: ...okay?
* Jimbo Hughmongous: So, we r' lookin' fo' food, huh?
* Angiosperm: Yes, Lil' Pump, we are looking for food.
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Sweet, I ludd food. Dat sh\*t keeps us alive, afta all.
* Dimensional Cell: Okay, let's try and find a plant or whatever.
* (Cut to the five of them reaching a green flake plant.
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Wow, dat be a big f\*\*kin' plant.
* Angiosperm: Hey! You weren't censored that time.
* Meco: On modern television, F-words and even S-words are censored all the time, so I think we're safe.
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Hey, wait, why tha \*\*\*\* dis show depict brutal murda but therez ain't no shizzle words allowed?
* Tim: 'Merican public TV laws or whatever.
* Dimensional Cell: It's not actually a law-
* Meco: Guys, let's just eat this frickin' plant.
* Tim: Sounds like a plan, Meconabo.
* (Meco eats a flake.)
* Meco: Mm, this is really good!
* (Tim shoves a bunch into his mouth.)
* Tim: Yeah, it tastes like heaven!
* Angiosperm: ...what do I eat?
* (Dimensional Cell swallows one and licks the stem of the plant for leftovers.)
* Dimensional Cell: Go kill a guy and eat him or something I dunno.
* (Jimbo Hughmongous slowly eats a shaving of it.)
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Yeah, biatches, dis be wack n' all, but i be really tryin' ta find some meat. Dat sh\*t be kickass.
* Angiosperm: Good, you can go on an adventure with me to kill someone and eat their flesh!
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Good enough.
* (Cut to the duo swimming to a school of cells.)
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Maybe I'm just high on dat plant sh\*t, but I think I realized why we can't sweabut we can show all dat killin' n' sh\*t.
* Angiosperm: Why is that?
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Well sh\*\*\*t, we're all cells right?
* Angiosperm: Yes, and?
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Since we're so small, they can show a bunch o' dirtnap n' blood n' sh\*t bcuz' o' da fact dat we're two inch amputated leeches.
* Angiosperm: That actually makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it.
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Look! I think I found a thug!
* Angiosperm: Where?
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Up yo' goddamn ass n' 'round tha corner, pimpo.
* Angiosperm: ...dang it.
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Therez plenty o' 'em in plain sight, Greeny Phatom, how tha fuck 'bout we kick their muthaf\*\*kin' asses?
* Angiosperm: Sounds like a plan.
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Than therez no time ta lose! Letz kick some butt n' smoke some meat chunks!
* Angiosperm: Yeah!
* (Jimbo Hughmongous swims in.)
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Prepare ta die, yo' hapless cells!
* (Everyone swims away.)
* Angiosperm: Yeah, good going, you lunatic.
* (A sole Shycoop is still left.)
* Shycoop: Fite me.
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Alright, than I gotta!
* (Jimbo Hughmongous bites Shycoop on the rear.)
* Shycoop: AHAHAHA!
* (Jimbo Hughmongous sinks his teeth in deeper.)
* Shycoop: AHHHHHHHH!
* (Shycoop explodes.)
* Jimbo Hughmongous: So, what the fuck else can I say except "Yo' goddamn welcome?".
* Angiosperm: You need to at least trick me into saying "Thank you".
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Damn, yo' salty, lil' pimp.
* (Jimbo Hughmongous eats a nugget of flesh.)
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Dis be tha shit!
* Angiosperm: Now, don't get mad at me or anything, but may I please have some?
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Hell nah, thug, I killed da lil' biatch so I git ta smoke her a\*\*hole. Yo' git murda a cell yourself, yo' greedy ass son o' a glock.
* Angiosperm: Ugh, fine.
* (Angiosperm wades away from Jimbo Hughmongous.)
* Angiosperm: Hey, come and get me, predators! I'm ready for all you opaque dick-weeds!
* (Nothing happens.)
* Angiosperm: Might as well give up.
* (A Spiky Shycoop swims in.)
* Spiky Shycoop: You... hurt... girlfriend!
* Angiosperm: Oh sh\*t... uh... well, technically it was Jimmy there, not me...
* Jimbo Hughmongous: I \*\*\*\*in' hate yo'.
* (Angiosperm swims away.)
* Spiky Shycoop: You... kill... Shycoop!
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Shycoop? Who the \*\*\*\* in all o' doggz names their mutha\*\*\*\*in' kid Shycoop? or did yo' name yo' goddamn biatch dat? I mean, yo' look pretty dumb, so....
* (Spiky Shycoop transfixes Jimbo Hughmongous with one of his spears.)
* Jimbo Hughmongous: ...Dis shit isn't actually as uncomfortable as it looks, by da way.
* (Jimbo Hughmongous explodes into a bloody eruption.)
* Spiky Shycoop: You... green one!
* Angiosperm: (Offscreen) He can still see me? What are you, Spider-Man?
* (Spiky Shycoop swims offscreen. Cut to Angiosperm splashing away.)
* Angiosperm: I haven't been more terrified since I tasted all the grease on Little Caesars' pizza!
* (Angiosperm outruns Spiky Shycoop, the latter looking around, unable to find him.)
* Angiosperm: Phew!
* (Angiosperm bumps into a large Booster.)
* Angiosperm: Ow! You bit me!
* Booster: I don't give a rat's ass.
* Angiosperm: What comes along goes along, then!
* (Angiosperm bites Booster from the back.)
* Booster: Ow! You feisty little bastard!
* (Angiosperm pokes Booster with one of his spikes, killing him.)
* Angiosperm: Ooh! A jet!
* (Angiosperm gets the jet and grows it on his back.)
* Angiosperm: Wow! Now I can shoot bubbles out of my ass!
* (Angiosperm squirts bubbles out, and is sent flying across the tide pool.)
* Angiosperm: WHOA!
* (Angiosperm returns to where he was, and feasts on the cubes of meat left of Booster.)
* Angiosperm: ...I don't feel so good.
* (Angiosperm distends.)
* Angiosperm: Ugh, growth spurts always make me even hungrier.
* Meco: Maybe there's a reason why?
* Angiosperm: Yo, long time no see, Meco!
* Meco: Nah, it's only been two thousand years, you good.
* (Squirt swims in.)
* Squirt: Talking!
* Angiosperm: Indeed, you are talking.
* (Squirt snaps his jaws, almost eating Meco.)
* Angiosperm: Stay back, you fiend!
* Squirt: Wee?
* Angiosperm: CHARGE!
* (Angiosperm lunges at Squirt.)
* Squirt: You stupid?
* (Squirt expels noxious clouds.)
* Angiosperm: (Coughs) Oh gosh.
* (Angiosperm swims away, where he finds Tim.)
* Tim: Soooo, how did the fight go?
* Angiosperm: Dye.
* Tim: What?
* Angiosperm: Dye, not die, you're too good of a teammate.
* Tim: Oh, phew.
* (Sluggy swims in.)
* Tim: Ooh, exotic!
* Angiosperm: I could look at him for ages on end.
* (A giant Impaler swims in.)
* Impaler: Beep beep! Outta the way, a\*\*holes!
* Angiosperm: Swim!
* (Angiosperm and Tim paddle away in different directions, with Angiosperm bumping into Dimensional Cell.)
* Dimensional Cell: Sup.
* Angiosperm: Dimensional! There's a big purple penis that can shoot poison out of his butt that is trying to kill me!
* Dimensional Cell: (Beat) You trippin', man.
* Angiosperm: No, seriously! I tried stabbing him, but he shot these fumes out that nearly poisoned me!
* Dimensional Cell: Leave it to me.
* Angiosperm: Thanks.
* (Squirt swims in.)
* Angiosperm: Well, Pecker, speak of the devil, and he shall appear!
* Squirt: It's Squirt.
* Angiosperm: Like that's any better, two fingers.
* Squirt: ...I don't have any fingers.
* Angiosperm: You know what, just sic 'em, Dimensions.
* (Dimensional Cell reveals a spike in his mouth.)
* Dimensional Cell: Stand back, or be harpooned!
* Squirt: Fight me, baby blue.
* (Dimensional Cell charges in, but simply ricochets off of Squirt.)
* Dimensional Cell: How's about I try that again?
* (Dimensional Cell swims at an angle, and runs his spike through Squirt.)
* Squirt: GREER!
* Dimensional Cell: Yeah, cry it up, dickhead.
* (Squirt flies apart, leaving a pool of purple cytoplasm.)
* Dimensional Cell: Not too hard, huh, Ang?
* Angiosperm: Guess it wasn't. Let's apply his acid squirting thingamajig to us and be done with it.
* Dimensional Cell: He only has one of them, though.
* Angiosperm: Whatever, I'm pretty sure it'll apply to both of us, this IS a really convenient show, after all.
* (The duo swims to the toxin squirter, applying it both of them.)
* Angiosperm: See? What'd I say.
* Dimensional Cell: Yeah, guess you're right. I can't eat flesh, though; my nose-mouth thing only allows me to drink blood. I'll try and find a guy to kill, you go eat him.
* Angiosperm: Catch ya later, I'll buy ya a beer.
* (Dimensional Cell swims away.)
* Angiosperm: Ah, some alone time.
* (A giant Snarf appears.)
* Snarf: Heh heh.
* Angiosperm: ...oh sh\*t.
* (The Snarf is spiked through by a spear.)
* Snarf: There sure is a lot of impaling in this episode, huh?
* (Snarf explodes into pink blood, with Jimbo Hughmongous, armed with a spear, swimming out.)
* Angiosperm: (Whispering) Oh sh\*t. (Normal) Jim!
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Hey, yo're Greeny, right?
* Angiosperm: Angiosperm.
* Jimbo Hughmongous: Wait, yo' aren't tha dude dat swam away when I was bein' mauled by dat \*\*\*\*in' spiky asshole, r' yo'?
* Angiosperm: Ah, f\*\*k.
* (Spiral transition to black.)