Everything Old is New Again/Transcript

This is the full verbal transcript for the episode *Everything Old is New Again.*

## Script

*(Episode begins with Sabrina at her desk, looking at a book.)*

**Sabrina:** Ah, my seventh and eighth grade yearbooks! Those were the days...some good, some bad, all magical!

*(Salem suddenly bounds in and jumps near the book on her desk.)*

**Salem:** Well, you know what they say...you can't live in the past, but you CAN learn from it.

**Sabrina:** That's what my Uncle Quigley says. Y'know, my mom's big brother and a non-magic?

**Salem:** Oh, how can I forget that bossy old Quigster? I remember the time he left you girls in the care of that Fraud Schnitzel lady...

**Sabrina:** That's Frau STRUDEL, Salem. And besides, she's Rainbow now ever since Zelda, Hilda and I cast three spells too many on her prune juice.

*(Meanwhile, in the depths of the Netherworld, we can see Sabrina and Salem reminisce about the past through a crystal ball. This is revealed to belong to Spella, who is still sore after the previous episode.)*

**Spella:** You're not the only one who remembers, Sabrina Circe Spellman! You used to go to school with my daughter Cassandra...oh, let's not go there, especially not referencing bad shows. Anyway, you humiliated me last week, so now it will be I who humiliates YOU!

**Sabrina:** *(via crystal ball)* And hey, remember the time I made a locket for your birthday, Salem?

**Salem:** *(via crystal ball)* As clear as day, Breenie! I still wear it sometimes, because you and your aunts are the best owners a cat like me could ask for!

**Spella:** Well, since you seem to like living in the past, I have just the spell for you! *(She starts to cast the spell, which creates a green-and-purple blast of magic that teleportation Sabrina and Salem into a strange dimension.)*

*With crystal ball and jealousy, I use this rhyme*

*To turn back the great Sands of Time*

*You shall return to your past, your younger years*

*Through all of the joys and all the tears*

*And you shall relive your previous life at last*

*A walk down Memory Lane, return to the past!*

*(Sabrina's body suddenly transforms as Spella says these words: her hair becomes longer and golden, her clothes change from a pink T-shirt and white shorts to a sleeveless white midriff with a pink stripe and a pink miniskirt, and she gains an orange star and green crescent moon earring. Finally, her body shrinks in size as she and Salem land in a strange area.)*

**Sabrina:** Wha...what's going on? Salem? Aunties?

**Salem:** Over here! *(she runs towards his voice, and finds him near a strange panel on the wall)* Sabrina, this is one weird place...

**Sabrina:** What is that thing on the wall, anyway? *(She looks at it and sees that her body has changed, and she feels it as well.)* Holy hemlock, Salem! I must be 12 years old again!

**Salem:** I wish I could look younger, too...but I'm not a human anymore, so this cat body is gonna stay the same forever.

**Sabrina:** Who could have done this? Doesn't matter...let's see where this place leads! *(Suddenly, the panel on the wall lights up and plays a familiar song: Sabrina (She'll Bewitch Ya!) by B\*Witched.)* Whoa! Is that my old theme song?

**Salem:** I think I know where we are now...Sabrina Spellman, welcome to a walk down Memory Lane!

**Sabrina:** Memory Lane??? Oh, this'll be so much fun seeing all of my old memories!

*(A few steps later, the duo see a panel playing a clip from the show's very first episode. Everyone is laughing at Sabrina and Chloe at lunchtime; this is revealed to be because their Waif Moth jeans fell down. The girls scream.)*

**Past Chloe:** What's happening??? Why are our pants so big???

**Past Sabrina:** I don't think it's our *pants;* I think it's *us!* We haven't just lost a couple of *pounds;* we've lost a couple of *inches!*

*(The girls realize what this means and are now scared.)*

**Past Sabrina and Past Chloe:** WE'RE SHRINKING!!!!!!!

**Sabrina:** Who can forget my very first episode back then? I know I can't!

**Salem:** Whatever you do, do NOT bring up my flea bath! The episode was probably fun for you, but torture for me!