Cassidy

This is about @Shirrotokurro’s Au.

# Incorrect quotes of my rewrite because yes

Meme

Chris: Ow! Elizabeth: What’s wrong? Chris: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow. Elizabeth: It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

Elizabeth: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do? Charlie: Please don’t get arrested. Elizabeth: No promises! Michael: Why not both? Get creative! Elizabeth: Wonderful suggestion, thank you. Charlie: Please don’t encourage her, Michael.

Chris, cowering in fear: What do you want from me?! Elizabeth, standing in front of Chris: *bites into the whole KitKat bar like a heathen* Chris, crying: Please...stop...

Charlie: Am I right, Elizabeth? Elizabeth: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

Charlie: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch. Elizabeth: What changed your mind? Charlie: Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

Elizabeth: Who the fuck- Charlie: Language! Elizabeth: Whom the fuck- Charlie: No!

Charlie: Did you buy eggs like I asked? Chris: Even better! Charlie: What the fuck did you- Chris: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy!

Charlie: If I see a bug, I simply leave the room elegantly and require someone else do something about it. Charlie: If no one fulfills my wish, I simply never go back in there.

Terrence: Michael, gather the others. We need to have another Elizabeth-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-her-before-she-hurts-someone convention.

Vincent: If bread in french is pain, then I OWN A FUCKING BAKERY!

Danella: Why do you hang out with me? Lucy: You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me! Daniella: … Daniella: I feel a bit sorry for you.

Daniella: I got an idea! Lucy: Does it involve breaking the law? Daniella: By now don’t you think that’s a given? Lucy: I was just trying to be optimistic. Daniella: Don’t bother.

Daniella: Can I ask you for a favor? Lucy: I would literally die for you, but continue. Daniella: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

Daniella: I wish I had more enemies. Lucy: I’m sure you will someday, honey.

Alex: How did none of you hear what I just said?! Noah: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. August: I got distracted halfway through. Lucas: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Alex: I haven't slept in seventy-three hours. August: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia. Lucas: Bitch, it's been ninety for me. I'm going for an even one hundred. Noah: You guys are fucking terrifying.

Noah: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. August: No, that's not how you make cookies. Alex: FLOOR IT!! Noah: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? August: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Noah: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Lucas: DO IT! August: NO-

Alex: What do we think of Noah? *pause* August: *sighs*Nice pal. Lucas: I think they're gay.

Alex: On the count of three, what’s your favorite cake? Alex & Noah: One, two, three- Alex & Noah: Chocolate cake, peanutbutter frosting, and chocolate chunks! Lucas: Our turn, August! One, two, three- Lucas: Vanilla! August: I’ve never had cake before. What is cake?

Noah, pointing to Lucas and August: Distract them! I'll be right back! *leaves* Alex: Okay! *five minutes later*Noah: *returns and sees Lucas and August unconscious on the ground* What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out! Alex: There's just no pleasing you sometimes.

Alex: Lucas, we're hungry! August: Lucas! What's for dinner? Noah: We're hungry, Lucas! Lucas, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

Lucas: You’re such a dumbass (affectionate). August: Aww, you’re such a whore (complimentary). Alex: How are you talking like that in real life? August: Witchcraft (derogatory).

August: I'm bored. Lucas: Wanna commit first degree murder? August: Sure! Noah, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Alex down!

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