Ed

"*Thanks, Sid! No cheeky wanks for me tonight!*"
— Ed, Plunk 'n Bang

* **Class**: LMS Fowler Class 4F
* **Designer**: Henry Fowler
* **Build date**: 1927
* **Configuration**: 0-6-0
* **Arrived on the DR**: 1968

**Ed** is a small Fowler 4F tender engine, who used to work on the Somerset & Dorset Joint Railway, before coming to the Dark Railway in 1968.

## Bio

Ed was built on November 30th, 1927 by the London, Midland and Scottish Railway at Derby Works for use on the Somerset & Dorset Joint Railway, where he was painted, unusually for his class, in Prussian Blue, with the number 30. At a young age, Ed got hooked onto drugs, which warped his mind for a while.

It was whilst stationed at Templecombe that he befriended Sid, an LMS 2P 4-4-0, who happened to know where to score drugs for the two engines. The two engines were very lazy, and always sat around at Templecombe shed getting high and drunk, and discussing seemingly random topics.

During the 1930's, management had had enough, and got Ed and Sid working again, The two engines managed well, often being used as pilot engines over the S&D to Bath. In 1932, both engines were repainted from SDJR Blue to LMS Black, something Ed didn't like, as he preferred his blue paint.

During these years, Ed came into contact with two other engines who were "outsiders" to the other S&D engines. These being Mac, a small Fowler 3F tank engine, and Liz, a Stanier Jubilee. Ed had a massive crush on Liz for many years, despite the fact that Liz didn't really like him that much. She tried many things to get him to leave her alone, including pretending to be a lesbian, but nothing worked.

Ed and Mac had a strained relationship, as Mac would constantly berate Ed for his antics, but often needed his help, especially when it came to handling trains. Ed and Mac would often play tricks on eachother, such as hiding the others trains, or shunting one another inbetween rakes of trucks, making them unable to move, sometimes causing accidents.

By 1948, Ed had passed into British Railways ownership, but his life remained mostly the same, with freight work coming his way in the 1950's. During this time, he interacted with an LMS Black Five called Dave, whom he and Sid got on very well with. Ed didn't get on well with some of his brothers, and least of all, another black five stationed at Templecombe called 44826, whose stuttering and cowardliness annoyed him greatly, particularly after an incident involving a snowplough while piloting him following a snowstorm.

During 1960, an engine called Bob the Invisible Pink Sailor came to the line and half destroyed his home, angering Ed greatly. Along with Sid, the two engines forcibly ejected Bob from the line. Days later, the two engines were called in to clear up a mass derailment of diesel engines, who had been chasing some steam engines off the line.

In 1964, Ed, Sid, and two other engines, Mac and Liz, fled the railway as they were all scheduled for withdrawal (despite Sid's recent rebuild). They travelled far and wide over the British Isles, trying to find somewhere to live, Unfortunately, the four friends didn't have much success, and eventually, in 1968, Mac made the decision to hide in Scotland, wanting to be in his home country. Liz left Ed and Sid shortly after, leaving the plucky duo to continue south on their own to the last place they could think of where they would be safe: The Dark Railway.

The pair reached Merecombe Industrial Estate where they were hidden with the help of Abomination. They remained here for a period of time giving unseen assistance with arranging trains until being spotted by Hannah, who mistook them for ghosts. Abomination revealed the pair to Hannah and Dave, who promised not to reveal their location to Mr. Dark. Unfortunately, their secret was blown rather quickly, but to their surprise, Mr. Dark was happy to see them and agreed to keep them on. Ed was assigned to work with Hannah and Abomination, where he quickly got the trucks in order with threats.

Several months later, Ed was working in the yard at Merecombe when he was suddenly called over by 257 Squadron and ordered to move him to the carriage shed. When he was there, 257 revealed that recent arrival Repulse was, in fact, Dave's ex-girlfriend Leanne, who had come back to enact her revenge and killed him and 257 in an alternative timeline. The pair were able to save Dave and Hannah from Leanne's plan, and the following chase resulted in the collapse of Gasworks Tunnel and Leanne's own death. In the months that followed, Ed became worried about anyone finding out about his expired boiler ticket, and he lied to Caracus Smash about being overhauled in 1962. After Eddie returned to the Dark Railway, Ed immediately took a disliking to him, believing he was there to take his job. Their hostility continued until they were forced to double heading a train, during which Ed's boiler failed on Upway Bank, after which they apologised to one another. With the truth about Ed now exposed, Mr. Dark and Mr. Smash told him that he would be on the back of the overhaul queue, meaning that he would be out of service for a long time, though his tender would be used behind Repulse in the meantime. He left for Mr Smash's yard, along with Eustace and 257 Squadron, during the summer of 1969.

Unfortunately, Ed's boiler was found to be beyond economical repair, so he was cosmetically restored and repainted into his old prussian blue livery before being placed on display in the Galen Junction Railway Museum alongside Sid whilst it was decided whether to build a new boiler or find another one. In the museum, Ed and Sid entertained visitors with their stories from the S&D. He was eventually moved into the works for overhaul in 1972. Following his overhaul's completion the following year, he and Sid were placed on loan to the startup Castleman's Railway in Hampshire by the railway's new manager Zeke Dark. They were familiar with the railway due to occasionally visiting the area in their S&D days, and they became the line's main motive power as they began running trains. They remained on the line for a few years, during which Ed started up a friendship with one of the line's engines, Lundy. However, another engine, Harry, took a disliking to both Ed and Sid and demanded they leave his railway, even getting physical with Ed in the process. Ed was uncharacteristically reluctant to react, possibly due to Lundy. Harry eventually took it too far resulting in Sid pushing him into the turntable well. This led to the pair being sent home to the DR, to Ed's disappointment. Ed laughed at Eddie upon seeing him paired with a mismatched tender for the first time following a turntable accident. He was quick to apologise later, admitting that the Harry incident had made him appreciate the severity of such incidents.

## Persona

Ed is generally a good natured engine, but can often come across as vulgar and insensitive at times. Ed seeks an easy life, believing that he shouldn't work too hard because he wasn't built to, being a lowly small goods engine.

He has a strong relationship with his best friend, Sid, whom he has admitted he would be lost without. Ed also has a good relationship with Dave, whom he befriended when the latter was stationed on the S&D in the 1950's.

## Livery

Ed is currently painted in British Railways plain black with no crest. He has previously worn S&DJR Prussian Blue, LMS Black and various iterations of BR Black.

## Basis

Ed is based on a LMS Fowler 4F class 0-6-0, similar to Pogo.

## Appearances

### Ed the Engine/Ed & Sid

Episodes:

* 2012 - Dating, Girls, Submarine, Americans, Santa Claus, Love, Ecstacy, Noise, Thief, Pets, Sacked, Murderer, Birthday, Intercourse, Drinking, and God
* 2016 - Protection, Da Funk, Around the World, I'm Red, Plunk 'n Clang, Politics, Ghosts 'n Stuff, Home, Working Overtime,  Australia, Panniers Are Dicks, and Faces
* 2018 - HD, War, Rations, Alone, and Not So Bad
* 2019 - The Snowman
* 2020 - Merch, Fans, and Budget Cuts
* 2021 - Impatience, WIDE ED AND SID, Narrator, For the Floorz, Ed and Liz, Mac and Sid (*mentioned*), Ship Happens, Chairman and Goose (*mentioned*), Le Knight Club, and Shed Party
* 2022 - Different, Work, and Ballst

### The Dark Railway Series

Episodes:

* Series 5 - Haunted Hannah, Ed and Sid, Claim to Fame, Time Waits for No One (*does not speak*), and Time Waits for No One, Part 2
* Series 6 - Ouverture, Trepid, Fustercluck, Ed, Ed and Eddie, Plunk 'n Bang, Asphalt Assault (*mentioned*), The Prime Time of your Life (*mentioned*), and Apply Overnight (*mentioned*)
* Series 7 - Smashing! (*mentioned*), Rollerskate Disco, What a Clarence! (*cameo*), and The Man in Overalls
* Series 8 - Revolution 909 (*mentioned*), Face to Face (*does not speak*), Colossus (*mentioned*), and Outro (*mentioned*)
* Series 9 - 9 (*mentioned*), Rock Shock (*mentioned*), and Meanwhile...
* Series 10 - 101 (*mentioned*)
* Series 11 - Feel It, Further, Sundowner, Chord Memory, and The Brickenkopf (*cameo*)
* Series 12 - Ventura, What To Do, Outrun (*cameo*), Outrage, Shuffle, High Fidelity and Eternal Feedback

Specials:

* 200 Subscribers
* Zombies!
* You Bang Snowploughs

## Trivia

* Whilst painted blue, Ed's crew changed his number from "30" to "ED", in honour of his name. He lost this interesting livery in 1932, when he was repainted LMS Black, becoming number 4430.
* Ed is unusual for having a Southern Railway Maunsell whistle. This is due to his own whistle being 'stolen' whilst he and Sid were on the run and heading for the Dark Railway. In turn, Ed 'stole' the Maunsell whistle from a recently withdrawn V Class.