Quack the Ripper

I admit. I never worked at a company called Ninny
Winnies. I really worked at PBS. This is the tragic tale of how I found a show
that would fuel all my nightmares from then on. It was called... Quack the
Ripper.

**Quack the Ripper:**

**How I found it**

It was another beautiful day heading
to PBS. What was my job? Watch shows to see if they were appropriate for kids
to watch. Mostly, it was boring. Sesame Street, Cailou, Thomas and Friends,
Cyberchase, I didn't care for. But there were a few I liked, such as Arthur,
Martha Speaks, Word Girl, and *Peep and the Big Wide World.* That day, I
sat down to watch another episode of Peep and the Big Wide World, not knowing
what was in store.

**The story**

I watched the theme song come
up...except there was something strange about it. It was black & white,
plus there was a strange popping noise in the background rather than the usual
theme song. The end of the theme song froze abruptly, which was strange. And
for 1 frame after the title, an angry face that looked as if it belonged to a
meme popped up. Then it disappeared. The title card was even stranger than the
theme song. It showed a picture of Quack eating something's guts, as well as
the title, which said Quack the Ripper (sounds like Jack the Ripper). Strange,
because the episode was labeled Ninny Winnies. (This is where I came up with
the name.) I realized that Quack was eating Peep's guts when I took a closer
look. The title card was in complete black and white. But the strangest things
of all were the names of the writer and the storyboard director. They weren't
any of the usual people, such as Kathy Waugh, Joe Fallon, or Arna Selznick.
Rather, the writer was Barney Johnson and the director of storyboards Elliot
Manhuno. I decided that it was inappropriate from that point on. But out of
curiosity, I watched on.

The show went to color, yet it was completely mute. It
featured Peep and Quack walking with each other, apparently talking. Quack then
looked behind him, only the screen stopped. The screen then zoomed in near Quack’s
face, then after two minutes, a picture of Earth appeared, and then disappeared
after a few seconds. Suddenly, Quack spun around. The screen zoomed in to
Quack’s face. After two minutes, a different frame popped up, and then quickly
disappeared. The frame was investigated, and it was identified as a young boy
who had been murdered. Immediately, I began to regret watching the show. The
screen went back to Quack, only now the show was in black and white, and there
were spots around Quack’s head. Also, Quack’s eyes became bloodshot. The screen
once again zoomed in. Quack’s eyes began to twitch, and according to my
colleague, the same tone at the title card appeared after one minute. Sure
enough, I heard it. After two minutes, the frame switched, and then switched
again. Another investigation was done, and it turned out the frame was a German
flag. I was getting disturbed. When it switched back to Quack, there was now an
uncanny murmuring in the background. Quack’s eyes were now twitching as if he
had been stung by a wasp near one, and the screen began twisting as it zoomed
in. Quack looked almost like a shadow, and then, as the color immediately came
back, he screamed “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!” He grabbed Peep, ripped him
apart, and ate him. Blood dripped from Quack’s mouth, and his eyes were wet.
The screen then ripped apart and everything was black for one minute. Then on
the screen came a picture of Peep’s can that night. I couldn’t bear to watch
anymore, so I asked the man who ran the projector to watch. He reported this:
“After the black, Peep’s can show up. Quack was sitting in it with his eyes
wide and his hat drooping. He shivered for one minute. The background was
normal. After one minute, however, things changed. Quack stopped shivering, and
for 30 seconds he was completely still. The background switched to black. Suddenly,
he began to softly weep. For 2 minutes he stayed like this. Then his eyes
turned green. His weeping changed into screaming. I was sure the movie would
end by now. I was wrong. Instead, it lasted much longer. I got my shotgun
ready. The screaming slowly got louder and more painful to listen to. The
colors changed into colors unimaginable. In fact, only the humongous HDTV in
our building was able to comprehend the colors…but my eyes couldn’t. I felt
like the colors were burning my eyes. This lasted for 5 horribly long minutes.
Then the movie finally got ready to come to an end. Quack turned green and
shouted ‘DEATH IS NOTHING BUT A DREAM!!!’ and using a peeling of the can,
slashed open his stomach, spilling out the remains of Peep in the process. The
movie ends with the remains of Quack and Peep all over the can. The background
is back to normal at this point.” After I knew it was safe, I came back into
the movie room. The projector man had put the movie back in the projector, and
the credits went on. But, just like the Theme Song, the credits were different.
They were mute, except the end, in which someone says “Death is nothing but a
dream…a nightmare.” The PBS Kids logo appears at the end as well. I was amazed.
A show like that and the PBS Kids logo show up. As for the murdered boy, no one
knows who it is, but he was certainly unlucky. I destroyed the film, sparing
only the meme’s angry face. And one more thing went on. A search for Barney
Johnson and Elliot Manhuno began, questioning everyone, including Scott
Beaudin, the former voice of Peep, and Jamie Watson, the voice of Quack. But
they didn’t have a clue. Then a search began to find the duo’s place in PBS.
But something scary happened…

…there were no records of Barney
Johnson or Elliot Manhuno working at PBS.

**The first nightmare**

My first nightmare was watching the
very episode which started all my nightmares from then on, except I was the
only one in the room. I looked behind me, and the rest of the seats seemed
infinite. Then I watched the show again. It went like before, except when Quack
was supposed to say “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!” he said “IF YOU ARE WATCHING,
YOU’RE DEAD!!!” When I turned around, sure enough, all I could see was black.
Then it became hard to breathe. I turned around, only I was actually in a
coffin. Just before I woke up, I heard someone say “Death is nothing but a
dream…a nightmare.”

**The second nightmare**

My second nightmare was based off
the second, only I was watching the show in 3-D, and my best friend Tony Guz was
sitting next to me. The show went like normal, until Quack was supposed to say
“I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!” Instead, he said “YOU CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!”
And he popped out of the screen for *real* and ate Tony. And then the same
voice from before said “Death is nothing but a dream…a nightmare.”

**The final nightmare**

This dream was different from the
other two. It actually started good. I had just become a multimillionaire after
winning the lottery *twice* and writing a successful novel. I decided to
go to the movies. Everything went like it should, except the popcorn was as
heavy as rocks (and tasted worse) and there was only one movie playing. It was
called Ninny Winnies. I went in, not remembering what the show was labeled in
real life. I sat down in a seat labeled “Reserved for $$$.” I watched the last
of an animated short warning against cell phones in the theater. “It’s like I
said, Quack the Ripper kills anyone with a cell phone in the movies.” I
suddenly remembered what Ninny Winnies was. But it was too late. The doors were
locked, so until the movie ended, I had to stay. The show began as normal, and
for once, nothing bad happened when Quack said “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!” But
near the end, the nightmare finally got fueled. When Quack would have said
“DEATH IS NOTHING BUT A DREAM!!!” he said “YOU’RE NEXT!!!” and ate me. Finally,
I found the dream source of the guy who said “Death is nothing but a dream…a
nightmare.” A man inside Quack’s stomach said what I always heard at the end of
my nightmares. He explained his name was Elliot Manhuno, and he and his friend
Barney Johnson had decided to pull a prank on PBS. They lived near PBS Studios,
so they made their own episode of Peep and the Big Wide World.