Roof Horse

Roof Horse**By:** Varkarrus

<start />

"Are you seeing this?" Sabrina asked.

"Yeah! Are you?" Britney replied. Sabrina took in a deep breath.

"I should hope so."

In the middle of a summer afternoon, Britney and Sabrina found themselves on a desolate suburban road, the only ambient noise the sound of cicadas and birds. The shade from many front-lawn trees did little to fend off the sun and the heat. Standing on the roof of a small, one-story house, was a horse.

"There's a horse on the roof!" Britney said, with disbelief.

"I gathered that," Sabrina replied with a flat tone.

"How do you think it got up there?" Britney asked.

Sabrina blinked, once, then twice. She adjusted her glasses. Britney sighed.

"I suppose this could be a supernatural phenomena," Sabrina finally answered, "horses don't simply wind up on rooftops."

"Well, it's not a large house, it could have jumped?" Britney said, unassuredly.

"Doubtful. Horses can't jump that high. Something supernatural must have put it there," Sabrina said.

"Are you sure about that?" Britney said, quizzically.

"Yes, I am sure," Sabrina said, "either way, the horse seems stuck up there."

As if in response to Sabrina's statement, the horse lowered its head, and let out a snort.

"Well, then we should get it unstuck!" Britney said, excitedly, walking towards the house.

"Hold it," Sabrina said, grabbing Britney's shoulder.

"What?" Britney asked, slightly miffed.

"What is your plan of action? Are you simply going to climb onto the rooftop and improvise from there?" Sabrina said, critically.

"No..." Britney said, before admitting "Yeah."

"Wait for a moment first," Sabrina said, whipping out her phone.

"What are you doing?" Britney asked.

"I'm messaging the Mutie Zone, letting them know there's a horse on a roof," Sabrina responded. Britney extended her eyestalk forwards a bit.

"No you're not! You're looking up 'how high a horse can jump!" Britney said, accusingly. She retracted her eyestalks, and squinted. "You weren't sure after all!"

Sabrina sighed. "Fine, yes, I admit it. I'm not an expert on horses," she said. Returning to her phone, she sent a quick discord message. "Alright, now what?" she asked.

"Why are you asking me?" Britney asked, raising her hands in front of her face, in spread palms.

Sabrina closed her eyes for a moment, "well, clearly I'm not the horse expert around here, so I'll leave you in charge."

Britney chuffed. "What, because you don't know how high a horse can jump?" She crossed her arms across her chest, and turned her head away. "God, you're so insecure," she muttered.

Sabrina squinted her eyes, her tail lifting into the air. "What was that?" she asked, with irritation

"Nothing," Britney said, turning her eyes back towards Sabrina. The horse's eyes followed.

"Well, clearly it was not nothing, or else I would have heard nothing. Instead, I distinctly recall hearing the word 'insecure.' Also, for the record, horses can't jump that high. I looked it up, the word record is about 8 feet. That's a one story house, nearly twice that height. I was right," Sabrina ranted, irritated.

The horse began staring at Britney, as she opened her mouth to respond, "Oh my god give it a rest already! You're such an insufferable know-it-all! I said the horse might have jumped up there, you could have admitted you weren't sure, looked it up, and we could have moved on to trying to get it down from there! Instead, you just always have to act smugly superior to everyone else, and I just know you're especially bad around me, because everyone thinks I'm just some ditzy --"

The horse, as if annoyed by these pointless shenanigans, took a running leap off the roof of the house, landed on the street with ease, and galloped away into the forest.

"Hah! It jumped down from there! I was right!" Britney said, excitedly.

"Hmm... I suppose you might have been," Sabrina muttered.

"What was that?" Britney asked.

"Nothing," Sabrina responded.

"Well, clearly it wasn't nothing, or else I would have--" Sabrina began.

"Okay, fine. I get it," Sabrina interrupted with a sigh. She turned and made close eye contact with Britney, and placed an arm on the side of her shoulder. "I'm sorry for being an insufferable know-it-all."

Britney blinked, her eyestalks lowering into a recoiled arch, "Oh. Um. Sorry for calling you insecure, I guess I am a bit, too, hehe..."

Sabrina smiled, and said "I don't think you're a ditz, by the way." She grabbed out her phone and began typing once more.

"Gee, thanks!" Britney responded with glee, "By the way, what are you doing now?"

Sabrina responded, "Reporting this horse to the Mutie Zone, clearly it's a mutant horse with supernatural jumping capabilities."

Britney groaned. "Oh come on!"