Episode 244 - A Little Rusty

## Intro

**Episode description:**
n/a

**Opening Quote:**
Kyle: We just - have I been talking to myself this whole time?

**Player introduction:**
**Sean**: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Tabletop Champions podcast, I'm Sean your dungeon master and with me tonight I have Ben who plays Balinor...
**Ben**: Hello!
**Sean**: Matt who plays Wrath...
**Matt**: I still don't have a pun yet.
**Sean**: Lauren who plays Ophelia...
**Lauren**: What do you call a royal centaur? A noble steed!
**Matt**: Boo.
**Sean**: Stephanie who plays Kuviana...
**Stephanie** (in Kuviana's voice): Ahoy-hoy, sugar!
**Sean**: And Kyle who plays Barry Dingle.
**Kyle**: \*seltzer can opening\* Grip it and rip it.
**Sean**: I did not do that tonight, I didn't step on your... step on your stuff.
**Kyle**: That's okay, I edited out the last time you did, so.
**Sean**: Did you really?
**Kyle**: I haven't edited that episode yet, I'm kidding.
**Stephanie**: Just finish the finale, dork!
**Kyle**: I haven't touched this season at all yet, I've been working on the finale.
**Stephanie**: Just - please, edit it out.
**Kyle**: It's funnier to me to say that I edited it out and maybe I will, now that I've said it.
**Stephanie**: I think you should, yeah, I think 100% should.

## Episode Summary

As they approach the cemetery, Wrath senses undead. They continue to the ruins, and Wrath spots something glinting in a building attached to the main ruin. Balinor, casting Detect Magic, puts his left hand over his eyes and the design on his hand glows, and his eyes continue to glow bluish when he takes his hand away. Barry spots what appears to be an Elvish footprint, pointing towards some stairs. Wrath and Balinor go into the building with the shiny object to find two crumbled mausoleums, one of which has a skeleton arm poking out of it. It's holding a set of horseshoes with winglike treads unweathered by time, which are magical. Balinor takes them, and senses something magical in the next building. Barry goes up the stairs. He briefly sees something pass through the wall, and Balinor and Wrath find themselves facing a white undead with its eyes pried open and its jaw extended, wailing: a banshee. Wrath faints from the sound. The banshee goes back through the wall and attacks Barry, and is attacked by Kuviana and Ophelia in turn. The scars on Ophelia's arms emit a blue-purple energy as she attacks. The wall to the north of Balinor and Wrath crumbles as a large undead bursts through with a club. Balinor heals Wrath, and a hammer springs out of Barry's backpack to bonk the banshee. Wrath, with a cry of "For glory!", cleaves the banshee in two, and it dissipates, leaving a small metal tube. Barry beats the large zombie to death, leaving two platinum coins that were covering its eyes. Wrath fetches the tube, which is silver and five-sided with a ring and a chain at the top. Balinor Identifies it as a Chime of Opening with 10 uses. Jingle and Barry find a trapdoor. Barry picks the lock, despite still being unable to open the safe back at the Bureau, and the episode ends as they open the door.

## Memorable Quotes

**Sean**: White goo?!
**Stephanie**: Goo, mold, [inaudible] man, I don't fuckin know, I remember- you know what, you should be proud of me that I remember fucking anything.
**Sean**: It was like a lichen! I'm not proud of you because the word "goo" was not said even once last episode, Stephanie. You lose, Charlie!
**Stephanie**: "You lose!" Um, you know what, fuck you.
**Kyle**: The triumphant return of Jizzy Ribbits.

**Kyle**: Is it too late to rebrand our group "The Goo Gang"?
**Lauren**: Nooooooo!
**Sean**: I will turn this D&D around.
**Stephanie**: Okay no no no, I'll be good, I'll be good! I wanna play!
**Kyle**: I will kill every dwarf.

**Stephanie**: Alright, so, I followed goo into a cemetery.
**Sean**: Jesus, alright.
**Stephanie**: And I went to the Tankard Tinkers and the Leaky Tavern...

**Kyle**: Hold on I have to now fuckin read the rules of this thing, hold on. Goddammit.
**Stephanie**: Rules? What rules?

**Stephanie**: Season 7, new year's resolution, I'm taking notes.
**Kyle**: You know it's August, right?
**Stephanie**: It's fuckin 2020 Kyle, every day is a new year.

## Trivia

(DM)
(Balinor)
(Wrath)
(Ophelia)
(Kuviana)
 **Nat 20s** | 0
 **Nat 1s** | 0