Ser Gabriel of Bedegraine

Efa

Coat of Arms

Gabriel is the precious only child of Ser Thomas and Lady Evelyn. The devout couple raised them to follow the teachings of God, and despite their rough exterior they do try to follow the path and guidance of their parents. They are an outspoken noble, quick to react and quick to raise arms. They have a sharp eye for recognizing nobles and commoners alike, and keep tabs on the goings on of both, even if they don't actually impact them.

### Appearance

Gabriel has perpetually dark circles under their eyes from lack of sleep. While they look quite average and don't particularly stand out among their peers, they do have clean, bright white teeth with notable canines, making their smiles, laughs, and jeers just a bit... unsettling. They've amber eyes and dark, dark brown hair with just a hint of curl at the edges that sits like a thick mop atop their skull.

### Personality

Care, kindness, gentleness, and patience are not traits that come easily to Gabriel. Gabriel is quick to snap, or fight, or insult, as well as quick to jump into heated situations. They escalate tensions, and act before they think. It's only later, when Gabriel is alone with their thoughts, that they can formulate any semblance of how they actually feel or thought about a situation. Pride often stops them from correcting situations, and they have a bit of a fatalistic streak. But, when they need to provide words to thought, they can compose careful, considered, precise statements and commentary, showing an intellect and care that would not otherwise be attributed to them.

### Nightmares

They've grown up with strange, and often unsettling dreams, leaving them perpetually bereft of restful sleep. They don't discuss their dreams, but when traveling no one wants to have a bedroll next to Gabriel, for fear of being woken by slaps, kicks, and the occasional shout, mixed with a constant stream of murmured nonsense. As a result, Gabriel has little patience, and is quick to find offense where none was intended. However, asking about these dreams is a quick way to start a fight, no matter the concern or intent.

### Ser Michael

Gabriel was too brash and abrasive to be well favored by the knights that could squire them. They didn't know Ser Michael from the training yards, but instead from church. Ser Michael is an older knight, soft-spoken and patient where Gabriel is loud and urgent, but Ser Michael is also kind, and forgiving, and was always more amused than annoyed by Gabriel's antics and outbursts growing up. Gabriel had consigned themselves to not being chosen by a knight when Ser Michael stepped in and took them on, and the knight continues to chuckle at the fire within his squire.

### Notes

#### Note to Barrow - 484

An unsigned note left with Barrow's belongings after a sparring match at Castle Grey

> *You fight good.*
>
>

### Letters

#### Shield - To Ser Michael - 484

*You gave me a shield, and your time and energy. You've taught me so much, and always been patient. I cannot remember ever saying, but I'm thankful. My prayers are a litany of thanks that you chose me as your squire. I know I am to be a knight, but the weight of it is heavy. I*

The words are blotted out thick with ink, half the page hidden in black, with only one line left visible.

*I will do my utmost to honor and exemplify the work you have done training me, and teaching me what it means to be a knight.*

And then, in a final, flourishing scrawl, *-Gabriel*

### Snippets

#### After Spring Court - 486

Barrow squirreling Gabriel into the grass somewhere in the starlight, and kissing her until she's panting, then pulling her in so their lips are pressed to the skin of the back of her neck. They can't see her blush when they say they liked her singing. That they want to hear more of it. That they want him to sing for them. And they keep him there, pressing kisses against the skin of his neck, watching the red slowly creep up the back of it, and then... quietly... wavering at first... He does sing, soft and quiet and lilting, a song he knows but doesn't, with words he doesn't understand.

#### After Cumbria - 486

Gabriel spends the evening and all of the night in the chapel, praying for the first time since Michael died. Head bowed in supplication, and words murmured low under he breath throughout the evening. "Oh lord, I know I've been lacking... In many things. I tried to be good, for both my parents' sake as well as Michael's... But you took Michael in a dishonorable way. The most loyal and spiritual man I've ever met, and you let him die in such a fashion? Trying to pray... I couldn't sit still long enough to form words. I'm still angry. I'm still unfathomably angry. At the Picts. At the Saxons. At you. At myself. And now I finally think you've given me a chance to get back for it. And instead... Instead I see an ogre? Something unbelievable. Something that should not exist, by your own will. And yet you put it there, and it nearly kills Heshtilda and I- *fuck*, what is the purpose in this? In any of this? I lack the power the save anyone from something beyond my comprehension and even when I want to be *good* or to do *right* I just- I *ran*. I've been told over and over to thank you for your blessings... But what blessings? Did you give me Michael just so I could forever feel guilt for his death? Did you give me Adeline and Heshtilda to show me how powerless I am? What *blessing* is that? I try and try and try to do better... I am told to seek my own betterment- and for what? What good does my thrashing do against a *fucking ogre*? What the fuck do you expect me to do against this? Do you just want to watch us suffer? Crawling across fire for your own enjoyment? I did not choose this path... But I strive to be good at it. If you truly are a benevolent God... Then *please* grant me the strength to keep striving. I *beg* you- give me the power to protect what I have. To... To make all of this shit worthy... Oh Lord... Please... Just..." And then a repeated litany of the prayers he would say together with Michael.