Jeffy The Teacher/Script

(Jeffy's House. Mario is asleep on the couch. The TV is showing a tennis game. Jeffy starts playing his cat piano. Mario wakes up.)

Mario: Huh? Jeffy!

Jeffy: Oh hi, Daddy.

Mario: What are you doing?

Jeffy: What does it look like, Daddy? I'm playin' my cat piano.

Mario: Well, stop it. I... I'm watching tenni...

(Jeffy changes the channel)

Jeffy: This show sucks.

Mario: JEFFY! I WAS WATCHING THAT!

Jeffy: BULLS\*\*T, DADDY! YOU WERE JUST ASLEEP!

Mario: Well, I... I accidentally fell asleep during the game. Change it back.

Jeffy: DADDY! YOU LOOK ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AND TELL ME YOU DIDN'T FALL ASLEEP AND THAT YOU WERE ACTUALLY WATCHING THAT F\*\*KIN' TENNIS GAME!

Mario: I didn't fall asleep and I was actually watching the tennis game.

(Jeffy throws the remote to the ground and it breaks)

Mario: What? JEFFY! WHY'D YOU DO THAT?!

Jeffy: F\*\*K YOU, DADDY!

Mario: Wait a minute. Jeffy? What time is it?

Jeffy: I'll tell you what time it is. # IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY, TI... #

Mario: JEFFY! YOU'RE LATE FOR SCHOOL!

Jeffy: Yaaay!

Mario: Jeffy! If you're late for school, that means you'll be behind and you'll fail!

Jeffy: Yaaay!

Mario: Jeffy! If you fail, I'll take away "Fortnite"!

Jeffy: WHAT?! OH THAT IS BULLS\*\*T! TOTAL F\*\*KIN' BULLS\*\*T! DADDY! IF YOU KNOW ONE THING ABOUT ME, THEN YOU KNOW NEVER TO F\*\*K WITH MY "FORTNITE"!

Mario: Jeffy! Go to school now!

Jeffy: No!

Mario: Jeffy. Go to school.

Jeffy: No!

Mario: Go to school.

Jeffy: No!

Mario: Go to school.

Jeffy: No!

Mario: Go to school.

Jeffy: No!

*EIGHT HOURS LATER...*

Mario: Go to school.

Jeffy: No!

Mario: Go to school.

Jeffy: No!

Mario: JEFFY! YOU'VE ALREADY MISSED A WHOLE ENTIRE DAY OF SCHOOL!

Jeffy: Yaaay!

Mario: That's not a good thing! You need to go to school because you need to learn!

Jeffy: That's bulls\*\*t, Daddy! If I was a teacher, I wouldn't make the kids do homework! I would let them eat ice cream and play videogames!

Mario: Well, good luck makin' that happen because there is no way you can be a teacher!

Jeffy: Or is there?

Mario: No there isn't.

Jeffy: F\*\*K YOU, DADDY!

(School.)

Junior: Aw man. I hate school.

Joseph: Yeah. I wish I could just play videogames and eat ice cream.

Jeffy: Guys. Guys. I know how to avoid learning stuff.

Junior: Really? How?

Jeffy: I'm gonna knock out Chu and become the new teacher.

Junior: Oh really? Cool!

Cody: But... But I like school! Learning is fun!

Jeffy: You know what else is fun?

Cody: What?

Jeffy: This, b\*tch!

(Jeffy flips over Cody's desk)

Cody: Ah dammit.

(Chu walks into the room)

Chu: Herro, crass. Wercome back to schoor. Today, we're going to be rearning abou...

(Jeffy runs over to Chu with a frying pan screaming and knocks him out with it)

Junior: Whoa, guys! Jeffy just knocked out Chu! We can do whatever we want! Yaaay!

Jeffy: Hello, class. I am your new teacher. Your assignment today is to eat ice cream and play "Fortnite".

Joseph: Alright! "Fortnite"!

Jeffy: Here's your ice cream!

(Jeffy throws a bunch of Fundae's ice cream at the class)

Junior: Oh yeah!

Cody: Uhh... Guys? This is a school. Shouldn't we be learning instead of just...?

Jeffy: Shut the f\*\*k up, nerd! Everybody throw ice cream at the nerd!

(Everyone throws their ice cream at Cody)

Bully Bill: Hehe. Wow. I can't believe a retard like Jeffy became our teacher.

(Jeffy angrily walks over to Bully Bill)

Jeffy: Listen up here, motherf\*\*ker! I am the f\*\*kin' teacher now! I make the Goddamn rules! If you so much as give me a dirty look again, I will f\*\*k your s\*\*t up and tear you a new asshole! I am not to be f\*\*ked with!

Bully Bill: Whatever, retard.

(Jeffy screams and jumps on top of Bully Bill and beats the crap out of him)

Jeffy: YOU LIKE THAT, MOTHERF\*\*KER?! YOU THINK THAT S\*\*T'S F\*\*KIN FUNNY?!

Junior: Yeah! Beat him up, Jeffy!

Joseph: Kill him, Jeffy!

Winnie The Pooh: Remove his head. Drink his blood.

Junior: What? Winnie The Pooh?! What are you doing here?!

Winnie The Pooh: Hey. This isn't "Goofy Wants His Money". I'm out.

(Winnie The Pooh leaves)