A Christmas Inheritance 04: A Sort of… Dog

### Players

Joseph Chance as Edward Caister, Dominic Allen as Sidney Wagner, Dan Wheeler as Rev. Peregrine McCutcheon

### Podcast Link

https://www.apocalypseplayers.com/e/a-christmas-inheritance-04-a-sort-of-dog/

## Synopsis (Spoiler Warning)

The episode opens with Sidney seeing a horrifying distended face in the dark with a hanging jaw, yellow eyes and looming teeth. He screams.

The players are introduced. We go straight back into the scene, hearing Purdue approaching and calling for Ben. Sidney, after having screamed and thrown a book at this horrifying, realises it was actually Ben- an Irish wolfhound who is now looking rather sheepish. He passes his sanity roll, reassuring himself that he is simply a ‘silly goose’. The men are introduced to Thomas’s dog Ben who Purdue believes is still missing his former master. Edward inquires about how Thomas Caldwell lived- he spent most of his time in his study or out by the folly (which the players learn is the Greco-Roman temple they’d seen earlier). Purdue remarks that ‘in the light of day, you’ll see what treats this place has in store for you’- talking of the folly, the ruins, the temple and the maze Edward asks for lanterns and Sidney inquires about bears in the local area. Purdue says if a bear had escaped then the local children would "eat it" (which solicits nervous laughter and confusion from the players, who all attempt psychology rolls on Purdue). Sidney gets an extreme success and finds Purdue has a sense of excitement and surprise at the mention of bears (perhaps because he has never seen one, or perhaps something much, much worse). It is nearly 1am, and the men think about turning in but decide against it, dismissing Purdue for the night. Edward proclaims that they are going to look at the temple because of the missing boy (Samuel Martins who got ‘folded up in the maze’) and because he doesn’t trust Purdue and Caldwell. He then remembers the ledgers and decides to check those first. The men examine the ledgers in various ways (spot hidden and library use are used, locksmith, mechanical repair and ‘summon elemental’ are unsuccessfully pitched for). No secret compartments or engines are found, but they see the deeds to the house, the Caldwell family tree, and Joseph rolls an extreme success in his search for a map of the maze. On this success he doesn’t find what he was looking for, but he does find a map with a shaded circleand the note ‘Ask Lawrence’. The men agree to look at the temple, and if necessary, ‘burn that fucker to the ground’. Sidney reports the when mentioning bears to Purdue, he seemed to have an unnatural passion, ‘like a man obsessed’. Edward whispers into Sidney’s ear and they laugh, and Dan fails his psychology roll, further cementing Pip’s idea that the men are conspiring against him. Sidney passes his psychology roll to see if Pip was doing a psychology roll and learns that he was. Joseph nearly spends the three luck but ultimately, Edward fails his psychology roll as well, thinking that actually Sidney and Pip are conspiring against *him*. The players all pass their constitution rolls and are feeling sprightly despite the fact it is past 1am. They compare their dex scores and prepare to head out into the night, with Sidney banging his knee and being tailed by Ben. Edward grabs his nine iron and lantern on the way, leaving Pip traipsing slowly behind them.

They discuss who Lawrence is, theorizing that it could be a sofa or the gardener. Sidney uses his psychic skills to check the ledgers for a roster of staff as Peregrine heads across the corridor to get his field glasses. Sidney passes his luck roll, finding a staff roster but with no names and gleaning that they were using mostly itinerant workers as staff tend to disappear quickly. Dan rolls a good success on his animal handling and tames Ben the dog who forms an instant attachment to Pip, who gives him some of his pocket cheese. Ben is jokingly revealed to be a giant mouse.

They leave the house into the pouring rain and head towards the temple. Sidney has changed into a fez. Edward is compared to David Tennant and Sidney to Michael Winner, Sylvester McCoy and Tommy Cooper. Actually, Sidney is wearing a Nón Lá rice hat to account for the rain. As they approach the temple, they stumble over a pit, realizing there is a series of ruins- trenches and walls. These are easily avoidable by waking around them, however, and soon enough they reach the brazier and the temple; it looks very new, historically inaccurate and apparently only suitable for LARPing, but as they walk towards the back of it the characters also notice a pond and some statues depicting Saturn/Kronos. While they’ve stopped, Peregrine listens out and hears the song of a robin, but the sound suddenly stops as if “the air had been violently snatched from its body”. Sidney suggests it might be injured and therefore could be nursed back to health, but ultimately they all move on and approach the maze.

Once they get close, the characters begin shouting Samuel’s name, and for a moment they hear the sound of a child crying come from within the maze. Edward acknowledges the fact that if they are to stay out and search for this boy, they should attire themselves accordingly; Sidney wastes no time in telling the others how his various hats might be useful in fending off the rain. After a swift walk over to the house, the investigators grab what they need, and Peregrine takes the opportunity to stop Edward and inquire about his and Sidney’s relationship, since he’s recently been perceiving there might be some trouble between them. Edward simply denies this and reassures his friend, also suggesting that perhaps he subconsciously knew he’d need Peregrine and Sidney in particular to aid him in this endeavor. It’s emphasized that Sidney is needed specifically thanks to his ability to feel vibrations beyond the ken of the average man.

After this conversation Edward slips on his coat, Sidney switches to wearing a gargush, and the men reach the maze for a second time. Sidney suggests a ladder might be useful in case it becomes necessary to enter the maze, and while the others have no plans to do this, they allow him to look for one; before he leaves, Peregrine asks him to also retrieve the bronze bowl, thinking it might be some sort of map for the maze. Despite knowing this most likely isn’t the case, Sidney does acknowledge that the Norse compass might help guide them in a more spiritual sense, so he sets off to look for that as well. He enters the house and immediately heads towards the study to grab the bowl, finding no viable ladders along the way, and resolves to look for one by running his finger along the brim and making it vibrate so as to sense his vicinity to the nearest ladder. Thanks to a failed luck roll, Sidney hears a child crying in the darkness, to which he responds by calling out Samuel’s name; this causes the crying to stop. After placing the bowl on the ground, Sidney asks for any possibly present spirits to ring the bowl if they’re with him, and suddenly he hears the crying once more, this time behind him. It turns into a laugh, and a slight gust of wind suggests that something big might have moved; Sidney picks up the bowl and looks out of the nearest window.

Near the maze, Edward and Peregrine have managed to circumnavigate the bushes, but not without the brambles inconveniencing Edward so much that he felt the need to lash at them with his cane. This helps Peregrine realize that while the maze isn’t necessarily very big, it would certainly be hard to traverse without the key to its design; he also notices that various bushes of holly are planted around the perimeter.

Meanwhile, in the house, Sidney wishes to go outside, but as he moves back from the window, a scream echoes behind him and he rolls to dodge the movement of something “bigger, and perhaps clumsier than a man”, feeling its coarse hair against his face as it lumbers away…

## Important NPCs

* William Purdue
* Ben the dog

## Quotes

* “I think he’s been utterly charming and you’re all cunts.” (Danann, about William Purdue)
* “An unnatural passion, like a man obsessed, (I say, like a man obsessed)” (Dom as Sidney)
* “It’s not a night for maze burning, the temple it is!” (Dom as Sidney)
* “I couldn’t be more thankful that you’re both here.” (Joseph as Edward) “I wish I could say the feeling was mutual.” (Dan as Peregrine)
* “This is becoming A Warning to the Bowl-Curious.” (Joseph)

## Trivia

1. ↑ Structures such as this folly can be found in M. R. James' *Lost Hearts* and *Mr Humphreys and His Inheritance*.
2. ↑ A maze is also present in *Mr Humphreys and His Inheritance*.
3. ↑ This circle might be connected to the one in *Mr Humphreys and His Inheritance*: "Here was a feature which need not be repeated on the copy—an ugly black spot about the size of a shilling. Ink? No. It resembled a hole, but how should a hole be there? He stared at it with tired eyes: the work of tracing had been very laborious, and he was drowsy and oppressed.... But surely this was a very odd hole. It seemed to go not only through the paper, but through the table on which it lay."