325: I Can Always Hear Raphina

## Summary

Batthwack does his best to lead the daddy scarecrow away while Rosco inadvertantly *Misty Steps* right onto the creature's body and has a ride on its head. The plan works just in time; the monster belches a fireball which narrowly misses the inn. Everyone else continues to smash mini scarecrows and Sin charges into the burning stable to rescue his horse.

## Synopsis

Raphina's *Sacred Flame* incinerates another scarecrow and she calls out from the inn's doorway, *"Batthwack! What did you say?!"* He yells back, *"Behind the inn! There's something huge approaching us!"* She relays this to the others with an immense shout. Will twins his *Eldritch Blasts* and explodes five more scarecrows that were closing in on Rosco. It's now the old man's fault if he gets swarmed again, so with his conscience now clear, Will *Flies* over the roof of the inn to where Batthwack is and finally gets a view of the giant scarecrow for himself.

Looking up into the stormy, rainy night, Rosco suddenly recalls a spell he'd been working on and rushes up near the inn to cast *Thunderwave* and obliterate three scarecrows. Also taking heed of Raphina's warning, and still locked into full battle mode, he continues around to the back of the inn where the flames engulfing the barn are casting the huge lumbering scarecrow in a ghastly light. Rosco doesn't even realise he's doing it when he casts *Misty Step* and reflexively teleports himself directly onto the giant scarecrow's arm. *"Ah shit! What da fuck!"* he growls in angry bafflement.

Batthwack was not expecting Rosco to be there as he casts *Compelled Duel* to draw the massive creature's attention towards him. The scarecrow and Batthwack lock eyes. *"Don't attack it! Let it follow me,"* he yells, but the wind and rain sweep his words away from the group. Will is the only one who hears him; ever since his pep talk with Batthwack earlier he's been watching the dragonborn's growing kingly behaviour very closely.

The scarecrows slash at Raphina and Sin as the huge creature stomps towards Batthwack and belches an enormous fireball at him, badly scalding him with fire and exploding three scarecrows that had congregated underneath him. It seems that Batthwack's plan is working though, because the inn is undamaged by the blast. Sin cries *"Lachrymose!"* and charges through a crowd of scarecrow that swipe at him as he goes, before throwing open the doors of the flaming stable and disappearing inside. Raphina calls down another bolt of lightning, evaporating five more scarecrows. *"Oh, good job, Raphina!"* cries Mo as he stabs another two scarecrows, which both collapse dead. The two of them edge around the inn towards the back, just as Will *Messages* Rosco to pass on Batthwack's instruction about not attacking the monster. Having received that loud and clear, Rosco climbs up onto the scarecrow's head.

Batthwack casts *Shield of Faith* and moves around the giant scarecrow to direct him away from the inn, casting *Divine Smite* as he spins the flail and unleashes two devastating attacks on its arm (taking care to avoid hitting the somewhat inconveniently positioned Rosco). As scarecrows slash at Mo down on the ground, the daddy scarecrow swings its two huge clawed arms at Batthwack, only narrowly missing him thanks to Rosco, who's yanking its head back at an awkward angle.

From somewhere within the stable, all that can be heard is Sin's incomprehensible shouting and the sound of another pitiful whinny.

## Trivia

* The episode title is a quote from Alex! In the previous episode Batthwack had tried to alert the rest of the party to the presence of a giant scarecrow, but his shout had been lost to the storm. At the start of this episode, Raphina calls out *"Batthwack! What did you say?!"* and Alex responds, *"I can always hear Raphina, right?"* Eric: *"You do get advantage on perception."* KT: *"That's our group's motto. We can always hear Raphina."* Eric: *"How about this! How about this! You have to make a Perception role to* not *hear, BUT you have disadvantage."* Abby: *"Yeah that's fair."* Alex: *"Alright, here we go... <rolls die>... Did I not hear?"* Eric: *"Nope, you failed. It's a DC15 at least, so you hear Raphina."*
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: wise.

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*

## References

1. ↑ See episode 324: Hippopollinators
2. ↑ Batthwack dealt a whopping total of 51 damage in those two attacks!