Stabbed MANY 1 Dude in the Eye (RPG)

"Stabbed MANY 1 Dude in the Eye (And 1 Guy in the Foot)" (or simply SM1D for short) details the events of one unlikely group of strangers, and their largely unsuccessful rise to power and fame in the HILT universe. The events in this game detail the events of the year 2,489 BC, or like, around that time. Its iconic name comes from what the character Logan 014, requested be written on his gravestone: "Stabbed MANY 1 Dude in the Eye (And 1 Guy in the Foot)".

## Background

In the years after "Teenage Wasteland" Humanity has once again risen from the ashes, this time from nuclear destruction, and stood tall. After the "Great Accident" (aka that one time PG Copper destroyed everything with monkeys and nukes) mankind developed advanced terraforming techniques, and once again transformed Old Earth into a lush and thriving ecosystem. Soon after people started doing the same to other planets in the solar system. Humanities first step was to turn the moon into a land of dense jungle, next Mars, then Venus etc. etc. All of this new arable land meant a time of rapid expansion for humans.

Governments took a break from killing each other, and formed a loose alliance to focus on colonization known as "The Union" known colloquially by some as "The Dude Union". Soon all the planets felt the heavy hand of The Union. In response, some, mainly criminals, gangs, and otherwise shady characters, moved to the Kuiper Belt to form various rogue colonies. As Interstellar travel was not feasible with the state of technology at the time, this was one of the last remaining hideouts for people who wanted to be free of the Union's long reaching arm. This mass migration gave rise to many small nations, and upstart warlords. In this no-mans-land the Union had a prison colony, which was shared by the 3 original unlikely heroes: Ben Dexmond, X Winters, and Sonora Rasa.

## Characters

### Part 1:

Ben Dexmond - Member of the Brewtan Royal Family, and attempted usurper of the Brewtanian Throne, held in a Union prison colony until his escape.

X Winters - Fleet Admiral of the URM, imprisoned in the Kuiper Belt Penal Colony for "accidental" genocide of sentient dandelions on Titan.

Sonora Rasa - One armed chick who was imprisoned for some unknown reason.

Logan 014 - Random presumably naked man found imprisoned in the home of Felix Untervelt.

Johnson (Fatty) McBurger - Extremely Obese Member of the very powerful McBurger family.

Jessica the Unchill - An EXTREMELY vocal member of the Social Justice Brigade, who asserted herself into the ship for "equality"

Felix Untervelt - Presumably innocent man who was knocked out and delivered to some random guy with some unknown reason for wanting him captured in a bar on Mining Colony 7

### Part 2:

Wyatt the Mountain - wannabe space cowboy who kills X Winters.

### Part 3:

Zandoss Subject 1325 - horrendously ugly 4 armed man ho was a human test subject at some point.

Tri - Ex earthling politician who has a penchant for lying to everyone.

Captain Tryhard - an ace pilot formerly in the Brewtan Royal Navy, now a pirate in the belt.

X Winters II - X winters brother who takes on his brothers role after his death.

Kyrene - An assasin hailing from The Penderross Kingdom.

## Story

### Part One

SM1D Part 1 starts with the 3 original characters escaping the Union Kuiper Belt Penal Colony by means of stealing a ship from some poor guards whom they had convinced of a fire that needed to be put out. After a quick look around the ship, the keys were located and the 3 merry felons were on their way to who knows where. The group then searches the Belt for a place to find work of some sort. The group eventually stumbles upon Mining Colony 7, and accepts a job kidnapping the likely innocent Felix Untervelt, who was living in a Shanduchan colony on Mars.

The three then fly to Mars, and on the way fight at least one ship successfully, then stumble upon a derelict ship which almost self destructed, but at the last minute was deactivated thanks to the genius of X Winters. The Group then lands on Mars, and ends up getting in a couple of fights with a few Brewtanians and Shanduchan guards, which they of course win. They eventually locate Felix's estate, and get there by means of scamming a train fare collector with a sob story, convincing him to give them "buy one get two free" tickets.

On arrival, the group greeted by a hostile gate guard, whom they beat up, and sneak into the property, posing as "Union Inspectors". The group then encounters another guard, who they fool into letting them inside Felix' house. Eventually they find a new character, Logan 014, from the Saturn Experimental Station 1003, who joins up with them, and is promptly killed along with Ben Dexmond when the group finds Felix and has to fight his bodyguards. After the encounter, Felix is dragged back to the ship, and many drinks are had by the crew. The group then meets up with one Johnson (Fatty) McBurger, and welcomes him into their crew.

Felix is then delivered to Mining Colony 7, where they encounter Jessica the Unchill, who uses brute force and nonsensical arguments to force her way into the crew. The group then travels throughout the Belt looking for more jobs, when they are bested in combat by space pirates, and forced into indentured servitude for 3 years. what happens next will be decided by the dice...

### Part Two

The crew was taken to the pirate ship where they served for like three months before they were attacked by the government and imprisoned on an asteroid somewhere. They attempted to escape from the asteroid by attacking guards and hiring new people. They stole a cargo ship or something and escaped but for some reason Wyatt mutinied and killed Admiral X Winters. It made him mad.

### Part Three

The gang traveled to a planet somewhere, and there were new characters. Somehow X Winters' brother rose up to avenge him. They landed and tried to pick up some jobs, whether legal or assassinations or baking, by doing what everyone does first. Going to a bar.

They may have gotten hired, no one is sure on this point. The ship needed some improvements so the group split off, some went to the shipyards where they bought ship-mounted machine guns and railguns, then also cannibalized some spaceships docked in the same yard. Then they all regrouped at a personal armory where everyone and Kyrene stocked up on weapons. Then they took off.

While on the ground they had made enough money to buy a second ship so they made a little fleet with Admiral X II in charge. Then Kyene mutinied on the ship that X II was on and killed everyone else on board. X II lost his courage for a moment and tried to get away on the escape ship but Kyrene shot his ship out of space. Legend has it the other ship remained loyal and destroyed hers in revenge, but this is another contested point. Either way, it is supposed they went on with their lives.