Synthwave and the Henry hostel

The **Synthwave and the Henry hostel** events were a succession of events that took place on 30 September 2017 after Spears and McCauliffe attended the *Outland 2017 Synthwave* concert in Clapham. Though the show started that Friday 29th September 2017 and concluded a few minutes past 2:00am the following day, the series of events that followed continued way on until the early hours of the following morning.

This marked both the first and last time Spears and McCauliffe used a hostel.

## Arriving in London

When the pair arrived in London, they headed for the Tube. Spears wasn't sure if he had enough on his Oyster card, so McCauliffe advised that he top it up because she thought she had enough on hers. When they checked the machine, Spears had a good amount on his. McCauliffe checked hers as well. She had 70p.

### **Arrival at The Crown**

After travelling down by train, tube and taxi, the duo opted to stay a night at The Crown Pub and Hostel located in Battersea, due to the good price, quality of rooms from the images online, and its relatively short distance away from the venue. They checked in at about 20:30 on the 29th, where they were told that the check-out time was a whole two hours earlier than they first thought. After checking in, the duo went up to their room, which was located on the the second floor of the hostel, to put their luggage away in the rooms lockers. To their surprise, the room (though displayed clearly on the website) their room did not have any lockers, nor a shared bathroom. To their horror they also discovered that they would be sleeping in a three-tiered bunk bed, with Spears taking bunk 2, and McCauliffe taking bunk 3. Bunk 1, which was located at the top of the bed was thought to be used by the third guest in the room, who remained unknown, and a potential surprise for when Spears and McCauliffe returned from the concert later. Due to the lack of lockers, Spears and McCauliffe had to hide their items within the rolled up duvets on their beds.

## Outland 2017

Outland 2017 took place in The Clapham Grand Theatre. Nothing really negative to say, the concert was very good, but sadly not important in the chain of events. Spears and McCauliffe left the venue not long after 2am.

## Returning to The Crown

### **Getting back**

At around 2:40am Spears and McCauliffe arrived back at The Crown. A bit concerned about who might be staying with them in their room, (Room 3) they were a little reluctant to open the door. Luckily, to their amazement, the third guest was not in the room, so the duo were able to get changed and get into their bunks at about 3:00am.
Because of the placement on the bunker ladders, McCauliffe thought it better to sleep the opposite end of the bed to where the pillow was laid roughly out. This was so that when the Third Guest entered the room, and climbed into bed, his feet wouldn't have gone near her face. However in doing this, McCauliffe soon realised that this was clearly where years-worth of young peoples feet had been, and the odour was gut wrenching.

She also tried to ignore the pube which was stuck on the side of the bedsheet. Also due to the lack of lockers, McCauliffe was forced to sleep with her bumbag wrapped round her arm, next to her face. *"Well I've never had to sleep with my bum-bag before"*

### **The third guest**

Anticipation began to grow about who the third guest in the top bunk would be, and what they would be like. The duo were unsure how to even begin, considering either pretending to be asleep if they weren't already, or if they should just say hello and greet them when they walked through the door. The two began to worry if they would get any sleep that night, after every sound which could be heard outside the room was deemed as a potential third guest. At one stage the knock sounded so much like a knock on the door, McCauliffe actually got out of bed to answer it, but with nobody to be there. The possibility of ghosts was even discussed at this point.

*"I promise you with all my heart, this is the last time we do this"* **– McCauliffe**

*"Never again"* **– Spears**

*"What the Fuck..."* **– McCauliffe**

*"This can't actually be happening"* **– Spears**

*"You can't pretend to be asleep when he comes in, because when he does come in you won't say anything and I'll know you're pretending to be asleep and I'll laugh"* **– Spears**

### **A moment of calm**

This was a short lived period between the times of 3:10-3:30approx where all noises ceased and Spears even managed to fit in what felt about 15-20 minutes of snoozing.

## Henry

Not long after noises once again could be heard on the corridore outside Spears and McCauliffe' room, to be preceeded not long after by the infamous sound of sombody vomiting quite violently. In horror and hoping Spears was awake, McCauliffe called up to Spears 'Did you hear that!' whilst the person outside continued to throw up. It wasn't long after other voices, presumably friends of the sick person began to be heard, as they began trying to think about what they could do to help their friend, who was now slunched down on the floor, leaning on Spears and McCauliffe' door. After a few moments of them trying to figure out what to do, it was discovered that the ill person was Henry and that his friend had seen him in a simular state before, but not quite like this. They could be heard attempting to clean up his sick and beging to remove items of his clothing, as we can only imagine, that he had thrown up on himself. They alo proceeded on a number of times to move him from the door, only to be greated with Henry shouting 'No Please No!!', followed quickly after by a procession of 'Shushes'. The boys also tried to cover the smell with Linx deodorant. Lads.

### 03:44am

A loud motorbike went by the window whih genuinly made Spears and McCauliffe, (who were very much awake at this point), jump as it flew by on the road outide. It was at this moment that McCauliffe decided to snap a quote of 'I dunno what is louder, the motorbikes going by outside, or Henry throwing up in the corridor'. It was also at this point when the stench of sick began to creep under the door to be smelt by McCauliffe, who stated that she could *"... smell the vomit now".*

### 999

At about this time, due to Henry's condition and his friends' inabilty to lift him, one decides to dial 999 for furter assistance. Whilst on the phone he again discribes how he has *'never seen him like this before.* It is here when we find out Henrys birthday 22nd April 1994. Within seconds, and in almost disbelief that this was actually happening, a siren is heard in the distance, followed by blue lights illuminating the room. McCauliffe at this point actually got out of bed and explaimed *"Oh my fucking god, there is literally an ambulance outside"* followed by a shush from Spears.

### 04:18

The Paramedics Arrived at this time, a male and a female paramedic who introduced themselves loudly in that voice people use when alking to old people, or this case, drunk people. They began speaking with him, and it becae clear that they were strapping equiptment to his arms, due to the ripping sound of velcro. Within seconds what can only be descrived as an ECG monitor, began bleeping checking Henry's heard beat. McCauliffe at this point was hoping that they would find something wrong with him so they could take him away. They too attempted to lift him and were, like Henry's friends, greeted with Grunts and yells.

### 04:20

As the paramedics realised that there time was being wasted on some drunken mess of a millennial, discussions soon started to take place about what would be happening to Henry. Either being taken to hospital, moved into a room, or left in the corridor. The paramedics told the group that Henry would not be going to hospital as there was nothing really wrong with him. They persuaded the lads that the best option for him was to get Henry into his room. It was at this stage that McCauliffe and Spears began to worry... was Henry meant to be their third roomate. Well he wasn't fucking gonna be. McCauliffe told Spears that if she heard the door start to go *"I'll be outta this bed faster than... Joe Pasquale".*

The paramedics again attempted to lift him, and once again Henry calls out to be left alone. Spears and McCauliffe are then refered to as 'The People' whilst the situation is being explained to Henry.

### 04:46

At this stage, one paramedic leaves, as it is clearly a waste of what is left of the NHS' time nd resources. It also transpires that two ambulances were actually brough to the scene, so the female paramedic took off in one. That left the male paramedic, and now that the calming tones of the female had gone, it was time to gake the situatoon up a notch. Thank god. The male paramedic showed no signs of sympathy with Henry, and even said, that it was his fault he was in this state, '*you put it down your neck'.* Again the roup could be heard lifting Henry up, with a few stumbled onto the door.

### 05:00

At this stage it is unclear if the paramedic aided the lift of Henry into the room next door, but at 5am, the boys had managed to get Henry into a bedroom, thankfully not Spears and McCauliffe'.

*"Remember when we joked about not getting any sleep tonight..."* **– McCauliffe**

## Waking up and breakfast

The mood was rather melancholy for Spears and McCauliffe when they awoke what, three hours later. both before the alarm that was set, eager to get out. They were told that final check-out was at 10am, and that if they missed it they would get a fine. I cant imagine anyone would have been in the hostel for that long to have got it to be honest, apart from maybe Henry, who looked to be going out in a body bag anyway. Breakfast was also said to be stopping at 9am, so Spears and McCauliffe wanted to get don before then. They got changed and made their way to the communal bathrooms to have a pathetic excuse of a wash and tooth brush before going downstairs for breakfast. Breakfast consisted of some old stale bread, orange water, and some crispy cereal. McCauliffe put the toast in the toaster, but it failed to toast.

McCauliffe, still hungry, turned round at exactly 9:01am to grab some last bits of bread before it was out away, but it had already been put away. It was then when Spears decided to start looking for a Maccy Dees. Amen fam. The two checked out and made thier way to MacDonalds. They stayed there until about 10am.

## Clapham Common Underground Station

The two decided, mainly McCauliffe, that they had had enough and wanted to leave the city earlier than

planned, but to get to Kings Cross they would need to get to the underground station, which was about half an hour away. During the mornibg the taxis are far less frequesnt, so the two were forced to walk through Clapham, and accross Clapham Common to get to the Clapham Common Tube station, on the Northern Line. The two were in quite good spirits for what they had witnessed the night before, and even spoke to a man whoes dog wanted to chase squirrels up a tree. This however was short-lived as when arriving at the station, it was apparent that half the northern line was closed on this day, and that a replacement bus service was in operation instead. Luckily Spears and McCauliffe didnt have to wait long for a bus to Sutton Station arrived.

A man stood on McCauliffe' shoe on the way down to the platform.

## King's Cross and London departure

Finally Spears and McCauliffe arrived at King's Cross, and after purchasing a new ticket, the two were happy to be going home. Spears grabbed a yoghurt from WHSmith, a flavour he hadn't tried yet, due to there being nowhere to actually eat comfortably in the room in the hostel.

The two boarded the train and Spears was able to begin to eat his yoghurt. Yzma appeared onboard and so the two began to take the piss. This again howwver was short lived, as people bound for Peterborough were told to get on a different train as the PA was down... how that effected the trains engine is beyond any of us, but this meant the passengers had to run, including Spears an his yoghurt to get on a new train which nobody knew much about.

### **Journey Home**

Finally, the train pulled off, sadly becuase it was great Northern it took about five fucking weeks. On the journey home a man was said to have refused to give infiormation, when he showed the train ticket collector an incorrect 16-25 rail card, little to his understanding. When the man asked why he needed to give away sensitive information, the conductor took this as point blank refusal, and when assisted by another conductor, called for a police officer at the next stop. However, when the conductor tried to use the PA system it was faulty and kept cutting him off. He usually started with saying 'Ladies and gentleman, if there is a police officer on board' before his voice cut out. His sentences then became shorter and shorter. "Can I have the Pol.. Pol..Po..P....P... '..."