The Epiphany Pages

## Overview

The Epiphany Pages are a short manifesto that made the rounds during the Post Pigeonhole years, well after Loveharts Caliber System had already been established. The document is known for its attempts to prove the existence of Caliber 0 beings, as the author claims its words were dictated to him by higher powers. The Epiphany Pages are not the first documents to make such claims, but they are the first to see widespread status and criticism, even provoking opinions from Pigeonhole and Lovehart themselves.

The author is unknown, perhaps by intention.

## Contents

The document goes as follows.

“THIS TEXT IS DICTATED BY THE SUPREME FORCES [unreadable, often compared to a turtle shell in shape]. THE WORDS THEREIN REFLECT OUR DESIRES ACROSS ALL SPACE AND TIME. DO NOT REFUTE OUR PROOF, FOR OUR PROOF IS YOU, YOUR BELONGINGS, AND YOUR MULTIVERSE. THUS ARE WE AND THUS ARE YOU. TO PROVE FURTHER WOULD SHATTER YOUR FORM.

ALL OF YOUR ACTIONS SHALL BE YOU. THEY ARE NOT OUR BUSINESS TO GUIDE OR DETER. FOR YOU ARE ONLY EVER YOU, AND WE ONLY NEED FEAR OURSELVES. ONLY BY BECOMING US ARE YOU A BANE, AND THIS PATH YOU SHALL BE BARRED FROM. THERE IS A PRICE TO POWER AND A LIMIT TO ITS ACQUISITION. THE MULTIVERSE IS THE LIFELINE OF ALL THINGS AND ALL THINGS WILL DEFEND IT.

WE ARE EVERYWHERE. WE KNOW ALL MISCONDUCT, ALL MORALITY, ALL PERSPECTIVE. WE ARE PAST PHYSICALITY. WE ARE PAST FORM. ALL YOU MUST CONCERN YOURSELF WITH IS OUT PERSPECTIVE. DO NOT CONFLICT THIS GUIDELINE. DO NOT WEASEL BETWEEN OUR WORDS. WE WILL NOT BE TRICKED OR DECEIVED BY YOUR ACTIONS.

DO NOT THREATEN US. DO NOT BECOME US. THESE ARE THE TERMS IN THEIR ENTIRETY. YOU MUST ACCEPT THEM. THERE WILL NOT BE ALTERNATIVES.

ALSO:

- EAT YOUR GREENS. THEY ARE GOOD FOR YOU

- LISTEN TO YOUR ELDERS UNLESS THEY ARE WRONG

- FUNGUS IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

- PURPLE IS BAD

## Reception

The Epiphany Pages were the first of such "Caliber 0 writings" to become widespread, if not popular. This was not due to their convincingness or level of detail, as other writings could be several hundred pages in length. The Epiphany pages were simply in the right place at the right time, which for some is evidence of their veracity. As the pages become more popular, it becomes easier to believe higher beings had a hand in the process.

Others dismiss the pages as lies, including both Lovehart and Peter Pigeonhole. Common criticisms include the fact that any Caliber could have written the pages. "When you look at what the Epiphany Pages really are, there's virtually no evidence it was written by essentially the highest hypothetical form of life," says Peter Pigeonhole. "Even if it was a higher form, it could easily be a Caliber 2 or Caliber 1, and from our perspective as people, we would never know the difference."

Other criticisms include feelings on what it means to be a Caliber 0 in itself. Lovehart, the inventor of the Caliber system, takes a different approach. "Assuming these are Caliber 0's, there's no reason they would want to choose smallest possible way of proving themselves. A Caliber 0 could easily reshape everything we know to systematically, unwaveringly prove its own existence, or alternatively prevent us from doing anything harmful to them whilst maintaining our autonomy. The complexities this would require couldn't possibly be issue to something of such level, because they can reinvent the very fabric of any moral, ethical, or physical quandaries their actions would cause. I believe this text is actually quite damaging, as it provides the wrong impression and people are beginning to assume its misinformation is fact."

Beyond Pigeonhole and Lovehart, there are those that take a nihilistic or indignant approach. To them, the Epiphany pages hardly matter, because there is no way for any being within the current Caliber systems to break the rules presented, especially a human. People also take issue with the last part of the document, citing that some fungus is actually okay, and purple really accentuates the chrome finish on their Maserati MC25 DXII Tsurieno. They respond that it is unreasonable for any being to put those things in a box like that, because why would you do that? It's unreasonable, is what it is.