The Toot Alert Button

This is a light-up yellow button with the black and red words, "TOOT ALERT" on it; when it's pushed, it lights up in a neon yellow hue as it farts and then says a very, very silly line from Carrot Top himself.

## The Jape Routines

* Button Buffoonery-Try not to smile and laugh at The Toot Alert Button with this daring solo challenge!
* Light Up Lunacy-When there's a blackout, light the way with The Toot Alert Button!
* Bedtime Belly Laughs-Use The Toot Alert Button as a nightlight; it'll turn bedtime from blah to TADA!
* Birthday Giggles-When people are singing "The Happy Birthday Song," complete the celebratory tune with The Toot Alert Button!
* Entertaining Elevation-When elevator doors open and shut, hit The Toot Alert Button!
* Tickled Pink by Traffic-Stuck in rush hour or even at a red light? Make the road rage disappear courtesy of The Toot Alert Button!
* Naturally Orchestral-In the great outdoors, look up at the wild blue yonder and let one rip courtesy of The Toot Alert Button!
* Fitness Funtime-Keep your workouts colourfully lighthearted by incorporating The Toot Alert Button when you feel like putting yourself down; let the toots and banter serve as a hilarious reminder to never, ever take yourself too seriously while getting fit!
* The Merriment of Music-Add hilarity while listening to a silly CD by pushing The Toot Alert Button when the CD starts, in between tracks and when the CD's over.
* Beachside Banter-Enjoy a day at the beach with friends and family; add some giggle fits with The Toot Alert Button...it's the perfect way to create precious moments!
* Grocery Shop Giggles-Bring some amusement to the grocery shop by using The Toot Alert Button as you wait in the checkout line; watch as fellow shoppers try to figure out where the unexpected toots and banter are coming from!
* Gaming Guffaws-Shock your fellow players by activating The Toot Alert Button during gameplay; it's sure to be delightfully hilarious!
* Cartoon Chuckles-Enhance your cartoon viewing experience by incorporating The Toot Alert Button into the funniest scenes; it's wholesome fun!
* Telephone Teehees-Use The Toot Alert Button while talking to others on the phone, but do not make crank calls or else you'll be in jail!
* Chitchat Chortles-While having a video chat, use The Toot Alert Button while conversing with somebody.
* Happy Holiday Hahas-During your favourite holidays, add merry mirthmaking with The Toot Alert Button!
* Photo Fun-During your next photo op, use The Toot Alert Button to add fun farts and hilarious banter.
* Sleepover Smiles-At a sleepover, activate The Toot Alert Button to wake everybody and alert them that the party's over in a fun and silly way!
* Ticklishly Travelling-When you're travelling from here to there or even there to here, just activate The Toot Alert Button to unleash some joyous japery!
* Shopping Spree Sillies-When you're out shopping, use The Toot Alert Button as you wait to exit the store; it'll add amusement to your spree!
* Bonfire Humor-Make bonfires the most fun ever by using The Toot Alert Button.
* Fairground Funnies-Next time you're at a fun park or fair, use The Toot Alert Button to add some humourous whimsy.
* Good Morning Mirth-Greet the day in a wacky way with The Toot Alert Button! Hit it first thing in the morning after getting out of bed.
* Kooky Crafting-While getting creative and crafty as you make art, just hit The Toot Alert Button during your little sessions to add comedy!
* Cheery Cleanup-Turn cleaning from a chore into a comedy sketch just by hitting The Toot Alert Button as you tidy up!
* Rainstorm Smiles-When the weather keeps you inside, use The Toot Alert Button to create some rainy day fun; activate The Toot Alert Button during audiobooks and other hobbies to keep yourself amused!
* Storytime Silliness-While enjoying a great audiobook or making one of your own audiobooks, use The Toot Alert Button to add some quality comic relief!

## The 60 Farts and Fun Phrases

1. (really loud fart) Pardon, I used my butt foghorn!
2. (really high fart) Excuse me, I blew my butt whistle!
3. (really long fart) Pardon me, my butt yodeled!
4. (really quiet fart) Forgive my rudeness, but hey-who tooted?
5. (explosive fart) Sorry, my butt bomb exploded!
6. ("trumpet" fart) 'Cuse me, my bottom trumpet played a solo!
7. ("trombone" fart) 'Xcuse me, I slid around on my tushy trombone!
8. ("tuba" fart) I'm just playing my tushy tuba!
9. ("bass" fart) What a groovy butt bass-line!
10. ("train whistle" fart) All aboard the bottom train to Toot Town!
11. ("cruise ship" fart) Hop on board the Keister Cruise Line!
12. ("kitten mew" fart) Time for some new kitten kibble!
13. ("piglet oink" fart) That was my butt snorting like a swine!
14. ("elephant trumpet" fart) That was my butt making its best elephant call!
15. ("puppy bark" fart) Time for some new puppy chow!
16. (really wet fart) Whoops, I'm sorry for self-soiling!
17. (wet fart) I'll come right back when I'm done wiping my tudchus!
18. (squeaky fart) I'm so sorry, but my bum balloon deflated!
19. (really squeaky fart) Note to self: eat more fiber!
20. (dry fart) That's a desert breeze from my heiney!
21. (really dry fart) That'll wilt a desert rose!
22. (really explosive fart) That's a supernova from my seat!
23. (long fart) Beware of my howling butt's werewolf call!
24. (squelchy fart) Sorry for soiling myself; it's just an accident!
25. (really squelchy fart) Pardon the noise of blowing mud; that's just nature!
26. ("jackhammer" fart) What a groundbreaking toot!
27. (squidgy fart) So squeezy!
28. (really squidgy fart) Whoopsy, that one squeezed right outta my butt!
29. (squishy fart) Oopsie!
30. (really squishy fart) That's just me, but the blame's on you!
31. (deadly fart) Open a window, please!
32. (really deadly fart) Please clear the room!
33. ("rat squeak" fart) Oh, no-beware of biting rats!
34. ("baked beans" fart) Bravissimo, that's really symphonious!
35. ("refried beans" fart) Bravo, that was really symphonic!
36. ("mouse squeak" fart) That isn't my pet mouse, it's only my butt squeaking here!
37. ("black beans" fart) Flavourfully rhythmic!
38. ("red beans" fart) Zounds, that sizzle was spicy!
39. (hot fart) Whew, it's like a sauna in here!
40. (really hot fart) Just like a heatwave!
41. ("cabbage" fart) Leafy and luscious, just the way I like it!
42. ("cauliflower" fart) Wowee, what a fresh fart!
43. (raspy fart) My bottom needs more rehearsal time.
44. (really raspy fart) Sorry, my seat-sax needs tuning!
45. ("teapot whistle" fart) It's tea time, courtesy of my butt!
46. ("chili" fart) Hotly spicy!
47. ("boiled eggs" fart) I blame that powerful toot on my breakfast!
48. ("devilled eggs" fart) That's aromatically devilish to me!
49. ("hard-boiled eggs" fart) That's marvelously miraculous!
50. ("soft boiled eggs" fart) Symphonious and smelly!
51. ("hen cluck" fart) Whoopsie, I'm blaming my cheesy omelette!
52. ("chick cheep" fart) Adorably airy!
53. ("rooster crow" fart) Just gearing up to go!
54. ("flute" fart) That's my very own seat symphony!
55. ("piccolo" fart) That's my own melodious masterpiece!
56. ("fife" fart) Let's march around Fart Town, hup 2 3 4!
57. ("saxophone" fart) Such jazzy pizzazz, I love it so much!
58. ("piano" fart) Talk about whimsy on the keys!
59. ("accordion" fart) Just pumping out a huffy-guffy tune, let's boogie!
60. ("ocarina" fart) Wondrously windy, I like it a lot!