Weegee The God

**Cadence "Cade" "Weegee The God" "Weegee" Johnson McKown** **Lorence**, better known as **Squid Fucker**, aka **Teddie** **(Persona 4) Kinnie,** aka **Mecha Hitler**, aka **Bill Brick**, born May 22, 1998, and most commonly referred to as "Weegee The God", "Cade," "Weegee The Fraud (only ProtoMario calls him this)," **Hitler**, or just "Weegee" plays the role "Weegee The God" or simply "Weegee" on the hit YouTube channel Friends Without Benefits. He plans to rebrand as "Weegee the Good at Speedrunners" and create a speedrunners channel. He is an American YouTuber who enjoys doing Let's Plays, reviews, and tutorials, mostly about video games and TV shows including *Super Smash Bros Ultimate for the Nintendo Switch*, worshiping those who shall not be mentioned, committing plagiarism, etc. He is also a devout Christian. Cadence is considered the funniest member of FWOB. Fishes are okay, furry birds are gay though. Has fantasies of cumming in the mouth of a lady salmon and fertilizing their eggs. When playing Mario Party, Cadence likes to play as Donkey Kong in Mario Parties 1 through 4, Koopa Kid in 5 and 6, Toad in Mario Party DS, and Birdo in 7 through 10, and formerly Dry Bones in 7 and 8, and Spike in Mario Party 10. Like Dillon, his offensive humor has caused certain fans to hate him, though not quite to the same extent, He’s a bad boy tryna become a good boy

**Benefits-Meter**
 Sex
 Height
 Voice
 Commentary
 Favorite Color
 Gamer-Skill
 Balls
 Giraffe Fighting Ability
 Mic-Peaking Ability
 Special Item
 Special Attack

## **Before FWOB**   ha ha young Cadence looked like a fucking idiot

Before joining FWOB, Cadence started his own YouTube channel, "*Weegee Plays" on October 18th, 2014. **He also has a second, lesser known channel called "Super Cringe Comp"***which he started on May 11th, 2016. The only reason there is any evidence of correlation between "Weegee Plays" and "Super Cringe Comp" is because Alpharad made a cryptic reference to this channel during the "Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle"series.Fans would find the channel approximately five minutes after that information was made public. Since this was revealed, the "Super Cringe Comp" channel was later updated to include the "Friends Without Benefits", "Alpharad" and "Weegee Plays" pages as recommended channels, respectively.

Weegee Plays currently has over 247,438 subscribers and 28,368,663 views, while Super Cringe Comp has 309 subscribers and 69,822 total views.

## **Joining FWOB**

Weegee officially debuted on FWOB on March 14th, 2017, in episode 1 of the Jackbox Games series(Which marked the beginning of the new FWOB), along with Deezus and Major, bringing the total number of FWOB members up to five.

## **Drama**

Weegee is by far the most controversial member of Friends Without Benefits, having angered many a man-child Reddit users over the course of his time on YouTube because said man-child Reddit users don't understand what satire is and cannot take a joke(was this written be weegee). He has received all manner of negative feedback for his content, stretching back as far as his *How to Smash* series; however, his online reputation would quickly take a path of infamy, with the brunt of the controversy beginning in early 2016, and the more serious and controversial events taking place in the last quarter of 2016.

On April 1, 2016, the Weegee Plays channel uploaded a satirical piece called *THE MOST [adjective] [noun] IN/ON THE ENTIRE [place],* in which he makes a jest towards the former YouTube star "LeafyIsHere". Bringing in a total of 209,509 views, it wasn't quite the most popular work on the channel, but it did mark the beginning of his controversial reputation on the platform. Weegee received an email from YouTube on July 6 of the same year, with a message informing him that a community strike was applied to his channel and the video in question was removed. While he never found out exactly why this occurred, he theorized it to be the work of crazed fans of "LeafyIsHere", who supposedly thought that Weegee's video was an attack on Leafy and mass flagged the video. After reaching out to several higher-up YouTube contacts about this strike, to no avail, and a request for appeal was denied, Weegee accepted that this video was simply going to be deleted and the strike to be made permanent.

As grim as the situation appeared, Weegee released a follow-up for this situation titled *My Community Strike - Update* on July 10, 2016, where he shares the news that the strike on Weegee's channel was removed, and the parody video he made was re-uploaded. He goes on to thank a large number of relatively large YouTube channels for their support in having this manner resolved, and takes care to note that YouTube, in no way, shape, or form, informed or notified him that the strike was removed; he simply logged into his channel and noticed that the video was back up, and he was in good standing with the platform. The video is mostly about the fact that YouTube has an objectively terrible PR record and poor consumer interaction.

On October 9, 2016, Weegee uploaded a video titled *Overwatch for Poor People,* in which he expresses particular interest and distaste in the remotely popular video game *Paladins: Champions of the Realm,* a free to play, MOBA-style first person shooter that bears slight similarity to the video game *Overwatch*. At the time, *Paladins* expressed an obvious lack of polish and skilled playerbase as opposed to *Overwatch,* a point Weegee refers to regularly throughout this video. By the end of the video, he admits to the thought that *Paladins* is a decently fun game, but urges any viewer with money to purchase *Overwatch* instead. It is very clear to long-time Weegee fans that the video was a dramatized satire of more serious "This game sucks" videos that exist on YouTube.

Subsequently, the sub-Reddit *r/Paladins* caught wind of this video, promptly became extremely angry about it, and launched a dislike/flag campaign against the video and Weegee's channel (at the time of this entry, the post no longer exists, likely due to moderator intervention). To nobody's surprise, nobody who was a part of this campaign understood what a "satire" even was.

On December 7, 2016, Weegee released a follow-up video to *Overwatch for Poor People,* under the title *Paladins: Revenge of the Poor People,* which was met with fairly similar criticism from a lot of the same users who reacted poorly to the first video. In this video, Weegee gives the game another chance, primarily to prove to the audience that his account for the game has gone beyond the level requirement to play against other players in the matchmaking queue, having been accused of playing against bots for the entire video and never realizing it. Of course, his god-tier skill at video games meant that he won a lot of the matches shown in the video, and performed exceedingly well. He then goes on to make jokes at the expense of the "poor people" who still played *Paladins* instead of *Overwatch*.

On January 20, 2017, Weegee uploaded yet another massively controversial video regarding the popular video game *Team Fortress 2,* appropriately titled *Overwatch for Stupid People*. In this video, he talks about the video game and its playerbase, likening them to children, poor people, stupid people, or some culmination of all three. The video mostly consists of his own gameplay, showcasing particularly poor experiences such as irritating in-game sounds, a feigned lack of understanding of the game's physics regarding fall damage, *LMAOBox -* a notorious, and now defunct, aim-assist script that is most notable for the term "Get Good, Get LMAOBox" - users who flooded the in-game chat system with *LMAOBox* advertisements, the lunacy of asking to voluntarily switch to the opposing team in exchange for greater EXP rewards, should that team win, among other complaints about the game and the people who play it.

To nobody's surprise, Reddit became angry about Weegee's video, and crusaded against his channel once more. It remains as the lowest like/dislike ratio on his channel, with ~10,000 likes and ~19,000 dislikes. The reaction to this video prompted a response, which he uploaded as *READING SALTY COMMENTS* on February 24, 2017. As the title implies, the video consists entirely of Weegee on camera, reading and reacting to the comments on the previous video. This video, while performing remarkably better from a public standpoint, still managed to rake in quite a bit of negative feedback. There were no extravagant Reddit raids for this video, but the users who subscribed to Weegee to dislike his videos from there on out made themselves readily apparent, by leaving a like/dislike ratio of ~12,000 to ~5,700.

On March 10, 2017, Weegee released *Breath of the Wild: The Quest for Cummies,* where he sets out for adventure in the vast, vibrant, overly copyrighted and frame-drop inducing land of Hyrule. The video is most notably known for the stuttering and inconsistent framerate of the game as he plays, which he claims is 100% genuine and not staged.

On June 19, 2017, Weegee uploaded a video titled *Why the Blue Yeti Sucks*. For this video, he discusses the use, presence, and praise of Blue's Yeti USB Microphone, as well as common mistakes of beginning voice actors, such as assuming that a USB microphone is truly studio-grade equipment, which, objectively speaking, is not true. He also provides some more helpful, if not common knowledge, information, such as acoustic treatment for small spaces, environmental sound control, and post-production audio enhancement.

Weegee received a lot of backlash for this video, having been accused of directly committing plagiarism from another video with a similar topic that he had taken inspiration from, without crediting the "original author". He later explained himself in a twitlonger titled 'Drama'. Weegee has since paid soulbrothanumbuh3, the creator of the video *How to be an Online Voice Actor* - the video he stole information from - an undisclosed amount of money to put the situation behind them. To this day, however, as of November 28, 2017, Weegee still receives hate and criticism from this event, from users writing comments such as "Gee, I bet this guy isn't a colossal plagiarizing faggot who isn't funny", to being subject to numerous dislike micro-raids performed by angry groups of Reddit users who just discover the video for the first time.

On November 12, 2017, Cadence streamed the video game *Sonic Forces* on his Twitch channel. After playing and completing the game in under three hours, he decided to refund it through Steam (some manchildren claim he lied; telling them than he had bought the wrong game), while he was still live, with his viewers watching. This caused a lot of backlash within the gaming community as a whole, including SEGA employee Aron Webber. This also inspired a Polygon """"""""""""""""""""""""*journalist*""""""""""""""""""""""""", Julia Alexander, to write an article about the situation. Weegee once again explained himself, in a YouTube video titled *Responding to Polygon's Hit Piece on Me*, calling out Polygon for spreading lies and false accusations with malicious intent, and, in an attempt to calm the angry children who were upset by his actions, he donated an amount of money equivalent to the donations he made streaming the game and one new copy of *Sonic Forces* to charity, and outright purchasing another copy of the game through Steam.

On January 2, 2018, MangaKamen, YouTuber and self-proclaimed fandom examiner, published a video about Weegee and his livestream refund of *Sonic Forces,* and complains about it for all of the same reasons that everyone who's ever complained about Weegee have already done, while also opting to go for low hanging fruit like Twitter screenshots and the Blue Yeti video, alongside pretending that SEGA employee Aaron Webber has any kind of leeway or valid opinion on anything, and partaking in general strawmannery. There are also many instances where he attempts to discredit Weegee's statement on a given topic by using a convoluted version of the phrase "That's wrong because I say it's wrong" and accompanies it with pitch shifted screaming and a playback reel with a parody doo-wop track in the background; the kind of doo-wop track that does a better job of portraying childlike mockery instead of professional criticism.

When asked by Cadence if the video was satirical, Kamen had this to say; "Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality." This video is only one of many made in a rush to point fingers and garner views - even if the attempt fails and the view count is woefully low - and for as long as Weegee actively manages his channel, they'll never stop being produced.

In order to succeed in life you must donate to [1]Weegee's Patreon.

## **Running Jokes Within FWOB**

Cadence is often a target for jokes from the other four FWOB members. This has created many running jokes that persist throughout multiple episodes. These include: being a closeted gay, torturing the editors (Dad and Deezus) with microphone peaks, having a lower intelligence due to being a high school dropout, hating Turvamania (he doesn’t), and being the group's resident edge-lord.

He is also the creator of the "Donkey Kong Surge" meme, invented during a video of Mario Party 4 in which he emerged from that game victorious. This meme later evolved into "Koopa Kid Surge" due to a lack of playable Donkey Kongs in subsequent Mario Party games, and Cadence having to choose Koopa Kid as a playable character in his place. "Donkey Kong Surge" would officially return to the channel on the first aired episode of the Mario Party 10 series.

He says "Leave a like if you hate Dillon" many times in series where he is paired with Dillon. These episodes often receive many likes.

In Mario Party 7,Cadence believes that he has the "Grace Of God", allowing him to hit specific numbers for rolls. This however, is never foolproof and fails him a few times.

## **Fun Facts and Trivia about him**

* His real name is "Cadence Lorence" as revealed in The Walking Dead: Don't Be Rama Rama - EPISODE 22
* Cadence has an aliase named "Bill Brick" - UNO FRIENDSHIP DESTROYER (RAGE!) - Friends Without Benefits
* Height confirmed during WARIOWARE PARTY GAMES - 2/28/2020 and MARIO PARTY 8 LIVE!!!! - 3/6/2020
* Favorite color is blue revealed during MARIO PARTY 8 LIVE!!!! - 3/6/2020
* Lives in the UK - Banjo Kazooie: Arby's Meat Carrot - EPISODE 9
* Cadence is Jontron and did, in fact, slap Susie - Pokemon Let's Go Pikachu: The Not Finale - EPISODE 18
* Cadence and Major sang the end credits song in Metal Gear Solid 3
* He is, infact, a gamer.
* He is just here to play Mario Party.
* Cadence got in a tragic boating accident and had to have his lower left leg removed Ratchet & Clank Rift Apart
* He plans to rebrand as "Weegee the Good at Speedrunners." SPEEDRUNNERS! ACTUALLY THIS TIME!
* He has a wonderful, strong, large, meaty, juicy voice.
* He is a proud high school dropout.
* Master of the world's best instrument: the slide whistle
* The most popular video on his personal channel is HOW TO KING K. ROOL,with over 1.7 million views to date.
* He claims to have a 15-inch penis, two feet rounded up. This is canon. He claims it hurts to be that long
* He betrayed Alpha by playing *Doki Doki Literature Club* on stream after already promising to play it on FWOB just a couple days prior.
* He believes that the "electronic jump rope thing" and Chuck E. Cheese is rigged - and he is right.
* He says the R word multiple times across different series and that is (possibly not) okay. He hasn’t done it in recent times, giving hope to his fans with brains instead of fragile masculinity
* He's allergic to nuts, and because of this, he cannot eat Reese's Pieces even though he wants to, as he hears they are "alright".
* He is not a furry. Though evidenced by his huge boner for the character "Blossom" in ''Battlerite this can be debated.
* He wishes he was MatPat.
* He is the proud owner of 12 Kirito pins and an emoji bucket hat.
* No longer holds the FWOB record for the Mario Party 8 mini-game Kartastrophe.
* He is the tilt and tit master.
* His favorite show is *Breaking Bad.*
* During the 50 turn Mario Party stream Cadence says he's gay, though it is assumed that this is in fact incorrect.
* Cadence is Christian, as evident in the first arc of Mario Party 7.
* Despite his lack of experience, he is significantly better at Custom Robo than Don.
* In episode 18 of Mario Party 7 he gives Dillon, Don, and Major permission to film and profit off of his dead body if he were to hang himself (Jacob was not present and is therefore not permitted to profit off of Cadence's body)
* He loves his friends, Mario Party, and Jesus.
* Does not like fun.
* Avid watcher of Russian car accident compilations.
* His dick is small, warm, and green, as stated in episode 11 of *Final Fantasy XIII*.
* His dick is also super big and is 18 feet long but compared to the size of this lad, it is nothing
* Claims to have 100%'d *Shadow the Hedgehog* when he was a kid.
* Known by many as "[redacted]’
* KEEP THIS ONE AWAY FROM THE GIRAFFES! (and kangaroos) Weegee's weakness is his ass.
* On February 18, 2018, Weegee uploaded "HOW TO MARTH", the official finale to the How To series for Super Smash Bros. for the Nintendo Wii U, explaining that the series wasn't fun to record and he felt chained down by the demands of his viewers in this respect. However, the description reads "I'll bring it back when Smash 5 comes out, though". This became pretty funny since a few weeks later smash 5 was confirmed.
* In Episode 3 of the FWOB series "The Walking Dead" he claims to have watched many videos of "escalators eating Chinese people and killing them" in order to convince himself not to visit China
* WeeGee is gay xd (and also is super straight)
* He is Richard
* He is scared of and weak to centaurs, he just doesn't like them.
* His brother is Dr. Robert Spaghetti
* Is the best one
* Likes to lick the faces of females
* Can draw really good straight furry porn (but he's totally not a furry i promise)
* He hates the company Glad after his father asphyxiated himself with their trash bags. From Mario Party 7: "Handicapped Major" - EPISODE 2
* Will name his future son Chad
* Possibly has lymphatic cancer (Edit: Doctor confirmed he has no cancer)
* Is a big George Lopez Fan
* Got a “B” in his engineering and design final by rapping the fast part of “Rap God”.
* Provides Kirby with the "Mean" copy ability when swallowed
* Into fish
* Wants to cum into (and on) Mipha
* Wants his peepee in or around Mipha's mouth
* Will kill himself if his SMA5H predictions are wrong in any way
* is 100% not a dunkey or alpharad ripoff
* Called God a fictional character, upsetting his family and local church.
* Is a Gamer
* WAS THAT A JOJO REFRENCE
* he loves jojo's (and hates anyone who dislikes it (sorry don))
* Spoiled all of Infinity War
* Played Thanos in Infinity War
* thinks breath of the wild was alright at best
* persona 5 should have gotten game of the year (and soundtrack of the year)
* Really seems to hate blue haired girls
* Has not seen Pokemon 2000
* Loves his God, because he is an awesome God, who reigns from Heaven above.
* weegee got castrated
* was scammed $2 by twitch user @BUNNY as confirmed by Alpharad’s clickbait videos
* Has the word "Weegee" printed on his shoes, car and the other fwob members
* He was casted as a voice actor in an English hentai dub
* Anime
* Is best friends with Mr. Vsauce
* Doesn't like redheads
* Is also known as The Little Girl Bandit, The Little Girl Strangler, The Loli Bandit, Little Girl Necromancer
* In Breaking Skyrim: Pro Hitman - EPISODE 20 - Friends Without Benefits weegee spoke are true god pewds in vain and he felt the consiquences.
* Was called SquirtBottle in highschool (dropout)
* His penis is called Slick Rick
* Loves Mahmud
* Was born by Cesarean Section
* He is a huge fan of boat
* Has a shelf of anime loli characters. He did go after shadman (hallowed be Thy name) and only double standared pedifiles do that.
* Doesn't understand DBZ fighting machinics, the Ki is what makes them survive planet level attack (thats why the big G can get hurt by bullets when he doesn't have it on)
* Once said he would fuck Bowser in his "little boy mouth" https://youtu.be/BR5rV1FJMPU?t=392
* Did he edit this

## **Cadence vs. The Wil d**

*All debate on whether Weegee can or cannot have been moved to here*

*-Confussed*

*Ps for states on Weegee to use here's Weegee joke battle page*

## **Quotes**

"He's like JoJo! I love JoJo! I love JoJo! I love JoJo!" - Final Fantasy XIII: Audio Broke - EPISODE 3

"SIEG HEIL GAMERS." - Game Dev Tycoon: SIEG HEIL GAMERS - EPISODE 3

"I don't want to got to icky sticky land. No thank you." - Dark Souls 2: You Might be a Democrat - EPISODE 15

"Fuckin' nice hit idiot. Where'd you learn to hit, Hit School?" - Dark Souls 2: Super Bowl Predictions - EPISODE 18

"Shut up butt-fucker." - Mario Party 4: "Wife Swap" - EPISODE 4

"I'm gay" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90eTyQ4QBDo
“yea, I met my wife on the Babylon forums” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o\_\_Yi-R1\_54

    “yea, I met my wife on the Babylon forums”  Super Mario Party: BOAT Mode - EPISODE 5

"Gamers rise up, I've had enough of this, it's time to bring down gamy and women as a whole!" Persona 5: Streaming Strategies - EPISODE 3 - Friends Without Benefits