Hang Ten - Part One

Poster from the Original Live Show

> "*I just put my lips on and I'm not even mad about it because it's S'Mores.*"
> ― Fraya Love
>
>

**Hang Ten - Part One** is the fifteenth episode of Queens of Adventure: Legends. It was originally recorded at Kremwork in Seattle on June 21st, 2018. In it, Bootie and the Hofish are hired to perform at a beach party, and are dragged into a treasure hunt.

## Summary

The four queens of Booty and the Hofish have been hired to perform at the Surf Queens Memorial Weenie Roast. As they finish their headlining performance, a bugbear in a floral bathing suit joins them center stage. He asks them to introduce themselves.

Harlotte tells of her past and twirls her three foot ponytail. Butylene demonstrates her dance moves. As Fraya discusses her goddess, Cher, music begins playing around her and she conjures light. Arson secrets into the universe her desire for a spit roast at the fair, and demos her pact weapon vibrator.

The Bugbear reminds everyone of the legend of the surf queens. Centuries ago the Great Surf Queens searched the world for a place to call home. They found it here, and partied for years until the Yacht Club drove the party away. The Surf Queens resisted and the Yacht Club was defeated, relinquishing a driftwood sculpture of a poodle on a surfboard, their mascot. This concert and weenie roast happens annually to remember them.

The queens head to a booth where they have volunteered to make s'mores for the attendees. As they work, the bugbear sighs that he wanted to book the queens for a month, but the beach was just sold to Humphrey Silvercheeks. As the name is said, a oily man in a pair of white trousers and a blue polo arrives, flanked by five musclemen bodyguards. Humphrey insults everyone and announces his plan to build a new yacht club. He steals a s'more from a kid as he leaves. Harlotte uses her *mage hand* to give the kid a new one while Fraya reads Humprhrey. Arson casts *prestidigitation* to soil his pants.

The bugbear worries they made a powerful enemy before explaining they tried to make the beach a historical landmark, but couldn't find evidence of the surf queen legend. The only clue is a bikini passed down in his family through the generations he shows them. Fraya traces chocolate to connect the polka-dots on it, revealing a phrase in draglish, telling worthy queens to seek their treasure with the magic phrase: Wiped Out, Waxed, and Ready to Party. There is also a map to the shrubs of cruising.

It is just before noon, and they know there will be a final party at midnight before the sale is finalized. The bugbear will distract Humphrey so the queens can search.

The group locates the shrubs, pruned back since their hey day. They feel a tingle in the air and as soon as Harlotte says the magic phrase, a portal appears in a shrub and pulls the queens inside.

They land in a stone room with a sandy floor. There are three frescoes, two dark, one lit with torches. It depicts a muscular drag queen, covered in fur and a gold bikini doing a handstand on a surfboard. A shroud of darkness covers the other two, impenetrable by Butylene's dark vision and Fraya's lit up breast.

### Test of the Mind

A Magic Mouth spell activates on the first panel, describing the bugbear Spikefang standing up for everyone's right to party at the beach. It's written beneath the fresco except the word bugbear, which Butylene writes in. Below the fresco, a healing potion emerges from a slot. The shroud dispels over the second panel of the fresco. An avian queen flies over a longboard. The Magic Mouth describes Wormswallow, whose songs rallied people. Harlotte calls upon the spirits in order to write 'aarakocra' in the missing legend. Another slot reveals a ring of protection. The last panel shows a hunched queen on a mechanical surfboard, and the lore explains how the prize was hidden after the battle thanks to the crafty Clinkbanger, and the queens must write in the word 'svirfneblin'. Fraya writes it, also getting help from the spirits, and receives a bottle. She opens it and a geyser of water sprays out. It's a *decanter of endless water.*

The lips appear in another piece of the wall, commending the queens, and a door opens. As they pass through it, the door slams shut.

### Test of Bravery

The new room is filled with sarcophagi shaped like figures holding surfboards. At the end of the room is another door. A triangular shape moves through the sand covered floor. Arson touches the shape, and it drops below the sand before a clockwork shark leaps into the air.

Fraya decanters fifteen gallons of water into the shark's mouth and freezes them, before running behind the automaton. Butylene hurls a bomb, which bounces around the room, before exploding against the shark. The fire melts the ice but doesn't do much damage. It reacts, emitting an oily black liquid in front of it, hitting everyone but Fraya. The floor is slippery, but all keep their feet. The shark cuts through the oily sand and flails and bites at Butylene, barely missing.

Harlotte warns them to not light the oil on fire, she flanks the beast and sneak attacks, she slips in the oil and lands on her tailbone after striking. Arson performs *poison spray,* from between her legs. The shark coughs and sinks below the sand. Another magic mouth congrats them on their bravery.

####  Party

* Arson Nicki - drow warlock
* Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist
* Fraya Love - water genasi cleric
* Harlotte O'Scara - human rogue

#### NPcs

* Bugbear Host (debut)
* Humphrey Silvercheeks (debut)
* Humphrey's bodyguards (debut)
* Magic Mouth
* Surf Queens (illustrated)
	+ Spikefang
	+ Wormswallow
	+ Clinkbanger (renamed Queensimodo)

#### Live Show Roles

* DM Matt
* Dice Boy Bolt
* DJ Robosex Homosex

## Episode Notes

###  Lore

* Centuries ago, the legendary Surf Queens came to this beach to make it their homes. After years of partying, the Yacht Club tried to take it away. The queens triumphed and took the enchanted poodle sculpture the Yacht Club used against them. They left clues to where their vault was hidden in the hopes of worthy queens finding it in the future.

### Inspiration Earned

* Harlotte - twirling her ponytail.
* Butylene - for knowing she's carrying
* Fraya - using *light* to dazzle the audience
* Fraya - using *light* on her breast to create a flashlight
* Arson - using her pact weapon.
* Arson - for soiling Humprey's clothes

### Memorable Quotes

* "If I had a higher strength I might lift off the ground." - Harlotte O'Scara
* "I like to throw acid in the face of my enemies, but I'm really nice." - Butylene O'Kipple
* "I come from a far off place that I can't necessarily remember the name of because I drink a lot of... water." - Fraya Love
* "A few things about me: I like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain, and escaping the underdark where I am from." - Arson Nicki
* "I'm not chaotic evil anymore, I promise." - Harlotte O'Scara
* "Listen here, dipping sauce man. I don't go over to your corner and slap the dicks out of your mouth. What the hell's wrong with you?" - Fraya Love
* "She's got one really big bulgy eye and she's squinting out of the other one like she's judging you. She's wearing a beautiful fur cap on her hump, just the hump, and then a sequined tasstly bikini." - Fraya Love (describing her redubbed 'Quensimodo')
* "How fast does it eject?" - "Standard Geyser Speed?" - Fraya and DM Matt
* "I'm sick of going home with bombs in my pocket, so I'm just gonna throw a bomb at this thing. Ya know, it's like come on. It's like a drink ticket at the end of the night. It doesn't do me no good." - Butylene O'Kipple
* "Oh my damage is psychological." - Butylene O'Kipple
* "I'm gonna make a passive aggressive facebook status about all of this. 'If you're a mechanical shark do not come for me today because I have already had it." - Arson Nicki
* "Hashtag: Waiting for him to get the towel but then you hear his car." - Fraya Love

### References

* Cher
* Monique Hart's "Brown Cow Stunning"
* Shady Rattlesnake noise from Drag Race (which DJ Robosex Homosex begins to use throughout)
* Ursula from Little Mermaid's "Body Language" line
* Helvetica -a drag queen
* Rocky Horror Picture Show and audience interactive props
* Tim Curry
* Monster Rancher
* Nuva ring
* Quasimodo (Hunchback of Notre Dame)
* Regis and Kelly
* Final Fantasy VIII - Procession of Witches
* Fallout
* "All Your Base Are Belong to Us"

### Name That Tune

* (Opening Lip Synch)
* "Whip My Hair" - Willow Smith
* "If I Could Turn Back Time" - Cher
* "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" - Rupert Holmes
* "Love Shack" - B-52s (Tin Roof reference)
* "Bug A Boo" - Destiny's Child

## Behind the Queens

* This live show was the first one recorded after the official launch of the podcast. It was originally released at the second bonus episode of the show in July 2018.
* Currently this episode is considered to be in alternate continuity, although in its original release, DM Matt indicated it could possibly be slid into continuity between Shades of the Great Houses chapters six and seven.
* In the mid-show break, DM Matt promotes the two recent live streams, available to view on youtube: The Black Lives Matter fundraiser, DM'd by Isabella Price, and the Pride fundraiser, organized by EA.
* This episode takes inspiration from the Surf Movies of the 1960s.

**Enter the Wigsnatch** - Part One -- Part Two
**Day of the Lepus** - Part One -- Part Two
**Live Panels** -- RuPaul's DragCon 2018 -- Minneapolis LIVE: Gaylaxicon 2019 -- PAX West 2019
**The Pernicious Poisoning of Peachblossom** Part One -- Part Two
**QoA x NeoScum**: Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part Two
**Hang Ten**: **Part One** -- Part Two
**Geekhaus Live**: Part One - Part Two
**Emerald Forest Adventure Con**: Part One - Part Two
**Children of the Cornball**: Part One - Part Two
**Seattle in Chicago**: Part One - Part Two