Chantal La Bouff

**Chantal La Bouff** is the daughter of SHARLIT from DA PRINCEZZ AND DA FROGGE, and she is *très cutée*!

## Info

Name: Chantal La Bouff

Age: 15

Parent's Story: The Princess and the Frog

Appearance: I am a petite Cajun girl with blonde hair, a pink dress, a red cloche hat, and a dead weasel around my neck.

Alignment: Rebel

Roommate: I live in an expensive mansion in New Orleans, Louisiana.

Secret Heart's Desire: To be a beautiful princess and a hooker.

My Magic Touch: I can speak faux-French.

Storybook Romance Status: I want to date a manly prince with muscles and a big you-know-what.

"Oh Curses!" Moment: Sometimes I try to speak jive and black people get insulted. It's because I'm a little rusty on my white girl gangsta.

Favorite Subject: Princessology. I dream of being a princess.

Least Favorite Subject: Cheesemaking. The French cheese is *très stinkée*.

Best Friends Forever After: My black best friend Tia'NayNay Maldonia.

## Biography

Oui oui, bijoux! I'm Chantal La Bouff. I'm the daughter of Tiana's friend Charlotte La Bouff. I claim to be French, but I'm actually Cajun, which is kind of like French mixed with redneck. I live in New Orleans, aka the Big Easy. Although it's been less easy to live there since Hurricane Katrina.

I'm super-rich and super-spoiled. My daddy buys me anything I want, including a painting of me coming out of the clam shell like Venus (the goddess of love and a blonde bimbo like me!). I've never grown out of my princess phase. I dream of being a beautiful princess like Cinderella, Snow White, Belle, and Tiana. I know all of the French fairy tales by *magnifique* writers such as Charles Perrault and Madame d'Aulnoy. I especially like the gratuitous violence and the fact that the princesses in them are all beautiful, blonde, and perfect. After all, there's nothing princessy about glasses, wheelchairs, unibrows, and facial hair.

I'm also faux-French and I love eating baguettes, frogs' legs, and snails. I claim to speak authentic French, like saying that *crème brulée* is French for "prove it". I pretend to hate Americans even though I'm actually American. And of course, I dress in *haute couture*. I have lots of products from Coco Chanel, Christian Dior, and other French fashion companies.

I dream of having a manly prince. All the French fairy tale princes are too gay with their long hair and tights and feathered hats. They all look like girls. The prince I want should be at least six feet tall and have muscles, manly short hair (as long as it isn't ginger), even manlier facial hair, pants (not tights), a manly crown with no jewels, a macho AK-47 (not a sword), a chin bigger than Bruce Campbell's, modeling pics, steroids, a big you-know-what, and a pimped-out ride. Those guys always go for the slutty blonde girls and then cheat on them.

I have a black best friend named Tia'NayNay, who is Tiana's daughter. She is ghetto fabulous and she's good at rap. I've tried rapping, but it never works. I can't be the next Iggy Azalea. I should stick to girly pop music like most blondes. Because I'm a Disney character, I get to listen to lots of catchy but lame singers like Twerky Cyrus.

And now I must go eat my macarons (or was it macaroons?).

## Trivia

* She is voiced by Tara Strong.
* She wants to be friends with Tara Christian, Budapest Hilton, and Kate Loxley, but they bully her instead.
* She is Catholic, even though she always eats meat on Fridays during Lent. Always.
* She plays Pokemon Clover and thinks it's a real Pokemon game.
* She plucks her nose hairs (which are black unlike the hair on her head).
* She wants to adopt a black baby when she grows up because "all the stars are doing it".
* She is a Trump supporter.
* She loves the song Lady Marmalade.