Brown Magic

**Brown Magic** is the fifth episode of season three of *The Cleveland Show*. It is the fifty seventh episode, overall.

## Synopsis

Cleveland dresses Rallo as a ventriloquist dummy and tricks an entire audience into thinking he's fake.

## Plot

When Rallo sees a magic act on television, he begs Cleveland to take him to a magic show. Excited to spend quality father-stepson bonding time with Rallo, Cleveland takes Rallo to the show, and afterward backstage to meet the star of the show Magical Johnson. They are mistaken for a ventriloquist act and are given the chance where they to be the opening act the following day. Donna has reservations but finally agrees to let them do their act. Cleveland Jr. signs on to be their manager.

Cleveland starts to bomb but thanks to Rallo's sharp wit in the role of the puppet, Cleveland and Rallo's ventriloquist act becomes a hit. As their act gets rave reviews by fans and ventriloquist critic Graham Kensington, Rallo grows tired of Cleveland taking all the credit for their success. Not one to be taken for a dummy, Rallo claims he faked being interested in Cleveland as a father. When Jr. brings word of a new booking, Rallo balks until Donna intervenes but tells Cleveland backstage that he is leaving him to act on his own. Cleveland tries to fake the act as the crowd gets ugly and finally apologizes to Rallo who accepts the apology and saves the act. But when Rallo takes a bow, their fake is exposed and they are banned from ventriloquism.

## Characters

### Major Roles

* Cleveland Brown
* Rallo Tubbs
* Cleveland Junior
* Magical Johnson
* Graham Kensington

### Minor Roles

* Donna Tubbs-Brown
* Roberta Tubbs
* Ernie Krinklesac
* Federline Jones
* Allister Monkarsh
* Walt (Cameo)
* Julius (Cameo)
* Kool & the Gang (Cameo)
* Jesus Christ (Cameo)
* Judas Iscariot (Cameo)
* Mary Magdeline (Cameo)
* Robert Jones (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Pete the Janitor (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Lil' Wayne (Pictured)
* Lester Krinklesac (Mentioned)
* Kendra Krinklesac (Mentioned)
* Dee Dee Tubbs (Mentioned)

## Quotes

**Magician**: And now, for my next trick. I will cut a woman in half!
**Rallo**: You're just turning one problem into two.

**Cleveland**: Haha. Me and Lester are texting each other, Donna. Can you imagine him lying in bed next to Kendra? They'd look like the number 10.

**Rallo**: Hey guys! I got a magic trick for you!
**Cleveland**: Hey hey hey! Get out of here, Rallo! How do you know we weren't doing something private?
**Rallo**: Cuz I don't hear "Celebration" by Kool & the Gang.

**Rallo**: Now think of a number and then write it down and only use this pen and press really hard and then rip it off and don't let me see it.
*[Cleveland writes the number down and rips it off; Rallo does an impression on the notebook]*
**Rallo**: Okay, was your number, 10?
**Cleveland**: Yeah. Poor Lester.

*[Cleveland asks for sex with Donna]*
**Cleveland**: Hmmm-hmmm-hmmm-hmmm-hmmm.
**Donna**: Uh-uh!
**Cleveland**: Sorry Kool. Sorry gang. Hopefully, tomorrow night.
*[Kool & the Gang is shown in their room]*
**Kool & the Gang**: Awwww.
**Band Member #1**: Damn!
**Band Member #2**: Ain't that a bitch?
**Band Member #3**: Man, I was ready to play!

**Rallo**: Hey, Roberta. There's a magic club over in Chester county and mama can't drive me, so your dirtbag boyfriend's gotta take me.
**Roberta**: Sorry, we're going to visit Federline's grandmother in the hospital. *[to the audience]* Don't worry, you won't see it.

**Rallo**: I need you to take me to the magic club in Chester!
**Cleveland**: Sorry, but I have my, ... uh, fantasy ... women's ... billiard draft.
**Rallo**: Liar! That was last week! You got Ewa Mataya Laurence in the first round!
**Cleveland**: Mmm, The Striking Viking.

**Cleveland**: Donna, I don't have time for you to be right.

*[Rallo finds a rabbit in his hat]*
**Rallo**: Wow! Can I keep him?
**Cleveland**: Of course you can. Anything you find in your hat is yours. Ever since Stetson vs. Oklahoma.

**Cleveland**: David Copperfield doesn't actually levitate or turn canes into doves. Although, he did make the statue of liberty disappear. That was real. The one there now is fake. It's two inches shorter and way hotter. You can read about it on my blog. Http, equals sign but with dots instead of dashes, leaning to the right line, leaning to the right line, three "W"s, period, statue of duplicity, all one word, period, blog spot, period, C-O-M.

**Junior**: You know, dad. You two are gunna need a manager. We should talk.
**Cleveland**: You? A manager? What are your qualifications?
**Junior**: I can be very persuasive.
**Cleveland**: Can't argue with that.

**Junior**: If you see anyone in the audience you wanna "meet" *[winks]* after, let me know.
**Rallo**: Alright.
**Cleveland**: Whoever's in the front row. I wanna find out how to get front row tickets to things.

**Cleveland**: So, bean. Did you hear what happened to the bee who went to the doctor for sticky hair?
**Rallo**: No, Porque. What happened?
**Cleveland**: He told him to stop using his honeycomb.

**Cleveland**: Word on the street is that Bazooka Joe's grandma sewed him three socks.
**Rallo**: Why would she do that?
**Cleveland**: Because she heard that over the summer, he grew another foot.
**Heckler**: *[offscreen]* That's from gum!

**Rallo**: Aw, put me out of my misery. Anyone wanna toss a brother in a wood chipper?
*[Audience laughs]*
**Cleveland**: Stick to the act.
**Rallo**: Stick to your diet, ya fat tub of crap.
*[Audience laughs]*
**Old Lady**: *[to her husband]* Now that's clever.

**Cleveland**: Well, Bean. You got any other problems with our act?
**Rallo**: Let's see. You got me dressed up like black Chuckie. You're doing jokes so bad, even Carlos Mencia wouldn't steal them, and according to your breath, you just ate a tuna sandwich with extra fart sauce.

**Rallo**: HELP! AMBER ALERT!

**Rallo**: I'm telling you, we killed! Like Michael Vick did to all those poor, innocent, ... NFL defenses! Ha ha ha! He paid his dues, people, let it go.

**Graham**: To think that one man, *one man*, could do two such disparate voices!
**Cleveland**: It's a gift.

**Cleveland**: I am only as great as the people who notice how great I am.

**Rallo**: I feel so betrayed. This is worse than what Judas did to Jesus!
*[Cutaway gag to Jesus and Judas going to a party]*
**Jesus**: Man, I hope Mary Magdeline's here.
**Judas**: Hey, could I see that wine, real quick?
**Jesus**: Oh, sure.
*[Mary Magdeline answers the door]*
**Judas**: He-he-hey! Mary Magdeline! Hope you like red!
**Mary**: Ohhh, thank you. You are so thoughtful, Judas.
*[Judas goes into the party]*
**Mary**: *[to Jesus; disdain]* Hi, Jesus.
*[Mary slams the door on Jesus]*
**Jesus**: *[angry]* Strike two, Judas!

**Donna**: I'm sure Rallo didn't mean it.
**Roberta**: *[offscreen]* He meant it.

**Donna**: Rallo, please tell him that what you said was out of anger.
**Rallo**: *[to Cleveland]* You can see that I am clearly not angry anymore.
**Cleveland**: Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
**Rallo**: You are not my father and you never will be.

**Cleveland**: There's no Porque-ing way I'm performing with that has Bean!

**Donna**: That is it! I have had it up to here! You two are doing that show and not because Junior put so much effort into booking it and not because the family could use a few extra bucks this month but because I refuse to let ventriloquism tear this family apart! Not again ... Never again!

**Donna**: You two need to learn to work together as a team. Not as master and puppet but as father and son.
**Rallo**: Uh-uh! Push on, mama!
**Donna**: Do it or I'll tell everyone at school about your *Hello Kitty* cupcake oven!
**Rallo**: I just got that to impress Asian girls!

**Rallo**: Why do you care so much, anyway?
**Donna**: A mother's selflessness.
*[Cut to Donna on stage as the opening act for Porque and Bean]*
**Donna**: HOW MANY BLIND MICE DO YOU BITCHES WANNA SEE TONIGHT!?

**Junior**: Sorry, guys. I had to bundle her act along with yours or she threatened to stop making beef stroganoff.

**Cleveland**: Good evening, folks. Say hello, Bean. *[as Rallo]* Hello, Bean. *[normal]* Say, are you trying to do an impression of me? *[as Rallo]* Yes, sir. That's why I sound very similar to you. *[normal]* That's pretty good. You do any other impressions? *[as Rallo]* No. *[normal]* Oh ...

**Heckler**: *[offscreen]* I missed my wife's funeral for *this*!?

**Cleveland**: From the moment I became your dad, it's become the only thing that I want to be. *[as Rallo]* But I already have a dad. *[normal]* I know that but who says you can't have two?
**Heckler**: *[offscreen]* God.

**Donna**: You hear that, mama!? I'm gunna play Carnegie Hall! So screw you, mama! *[cries]* I miss you!

## Trivia

* The title is a play on the phrase "Black Magic".
* Cleveland and Donna often make love to the song "*Celebration*" by Kool & the Gang, which means the band themselves, actually, show up in their bedroom and play the song in person, while they have sex.
* Roberta breaks the fourth wall to assure the audience that they won't have to watch her visit Federline's grandmother in the hospital.
* Cleveland mentions having psoriasis and needing to use a special shampoo to treat it.
* Cleveland provides a link to a website about David Copperfield, by verbally explaining the weblink. The website actually exists and can be visited, here.
* Cleveland and Rallo's ventriloquist dummy stage names are "John J. Porque" and "Bean", respectively, better known as "Porque & Bean".
* Food-based acts on the magic show lineup:
	+ Porque & Bean
	+ Ham & Cheese
	+ Soup & Salad
	+ Bread & Butter
	+ Milk & Cookies
	+ Salt & Pepper
* Graham Kensington praises Cleveland for how talented he is for doing two different voices (of both himself and Rallo). This is a fourth wall lean, which references to how Mike Henry does the voices of both Cleveland and Rallo.
* Donna curses to the sky, as though she was talking to her mother and then cries, saying that she misses her, implying that her mother is dead. However, at the end of the episode, it's mentioned that Donna has failed to get in touch with her mother, implying that she's still alive, but has abandoned her.
* Tim and Holt are absent in this episode. Lester is mentioned but not seen.

### Cultural References

* Gay's Anatomy is a parody on *Grey's Anatomy*.
* Junior and Ernie play cosplay as *Holly Hunter* and *H.I. McDunnough*, respectively, from the movie *Raising Arizona*.
* Junior makes fun of *Jack Black* for being forgettable.
* Donna reads a magazine of *Lil' Wayne*.
	+ The magazine is titled "Entertainment Weezy", a pun on "*Entertainment Weekly*".
* Cleveland and Donna make love to the song "*Celebration*" by *Kool and the Gang*.
* Cleveland bet on *Ewa Mataya Laurence* in fantasy women's billiards and even addresses her by her nickname, "The Striking Viking".
* Robert takes Rallo to an *Insane Clown Posse* concert.
* Magical Johnson is a pun on *Magic Johnson*.
* Cleveland's lines in the magic club is a reference to the song "*Pure Imagination*" from *Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory*.
* Cleveland tells Rallo that everything inside of his hat legally belongs to him, ever since Stetson vs. Oklahoma. This is a reference to the *Stetson Hatters* and the *Oklahoma Sooners* playing football against each other.
* Cleveland sings "*Nights in White Satin*" by *The Moody Blues*.
* Rallo jokes that *Jackson Brown* beats *Daryl Hannah*.
* Cleveland believes that *David Copperfield* made *The Statue of Liberty* disappear.
* Cleveland rips off a joke from a *Bazooka Joe* bubblegum wrapper
	+ The joke he told actually comes from a real bubblegum wrapper.
* Rallo says that he looks like a black version of *Chuckie* from the eponymous horror movies.
* Rallo tells Cleveland that his jokes are so bad that not even *Carlos Mencia* would steal them.
* The song playing during the montage of Cleveland and Rallo's success is "*Magic Stick*" by *Lil' Kim* featuring *50 Cent*.
* Rallo does a bait-and-switch joke about *Michael Vick*, where he leads the audience onto thinking he's about to reference to his animal abuse and illegal dogfighting at the *Bad Newz Kennels* only to change the punchline to "*NFL* defenses" and then to tell the audience that he paid his dues and that it's time to let it go.
* Cleveland thinks that *Caroll Spinney* is more popular than *Oscar the Grouch*.
* A cutaway gag features *Judas Iscariot* betraying *Jesus Christ*.
* Rallo got a *Hello Kitty* oven to impress Asian girls.
* Donna plays "*Three Blind Mice*" on her recorder.
* The letters on Cleveland's card "TSRDFSPPRAJ" are the initials of the main pony characters that star in the *My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic* cartoon series, *Twilight Sparkle*, *Rainbow Dash*, *Fluttershy*, *Pinkie Pie*, *Rarity* and *Applejack*, respectively.

### Continuity

* Cleveland reminds Donna that she lied to Rallo, saying that Robert was a war hero and then Santa Claus, as seen in "A Cleveland Brown Christmas".

### Deleted Scenes

* Rallo watching "Gay's Anatomy".
* Cleveland says that he's going to need all 200 of the hankies and then cries.
* Cleveland waxing the lyrics of "*Pure Imagination*" and then farting.
* Cleveland pestering the guy next to him in the audience to smell Rallo's hair.
* Cleveland sniffing Rallo's hair.
* Magical Johnson accidentally gives himself boobs.
* Cleveland gets Donna's agreement to his magical act with Rallo all caught on tape.
* Guy in the audience saying that it's sexy how Porque and Bean's act is getting too real.
* Guy in the audience calling Porque and Bean's act a funeral.
* Cleveland sniffing Rallo's hair, while he hugs him.
* Allister saying that's the end of the article.