Josenpai

Josenpai being initiated into the Mexican Drug Cartel

Josey

Pepe

Josenpapi

Josenpai

Josenpai (pronounced Joe-Send-Pop-Eye) lives a quiet life in H-Town, popular drop zone in PUBG, where he works for a lucrative business. The business collapsed in 2020 due the Coronavirus Pandemic and Josenpai has been living between underpasses barely making ends meet since.

## Life and Work

### Early Life

As a child, Kayozz was in a car accident that left him with a scar on the left side on the head, and was almost murdered by his family for the threat he posed as the first heir to the family fortune. At age 5, his older sister and cousins pushed him off the stairs where he tumbled down, his head eventually landing on the door hinge of the front door. This busted his head open once again, leaving him to bleed to death. Luckily, he was at his Doctor Uncle's house, whom to the chagrin of his kids, sowed Kayozz's head back open while he sobbed and watched Toy Story 2. This emergency procedure was performed without anesthesia, leading many to believe that the blunt trauma to the head coupled with the lack of disinfectants led Pepe to develop Witzelsucht.

### Highschool Years

Jose was the last person to join the school during 9th grade, as he was waitlisted but the murder of a classmate led to his quick approval to the school. He lead a pretty uneventful two years of school, mostly known for Dating Alexa. During his 11th and 12th grade year, he took a different approach to school, becoming the Director (Dictator) of Colt (Cult) Camp, effectively learning to brainwash incoming students to follow the Thinks and Acts of the school. During his last two years of high school he dated Andrea. To this day, many say Jose wails her name at night during his nightmares.

### Modern Life

In 2018 Josenpai was admitted into intensive care for kidney stones. He passed them all with the same score that he got on his SAT and was declared able to drink soda again by the wise noeMD, disregarding the warnings from close friend: Panojhon, and certified bodybuilder: Musclestacio.

In 2019 Josenpai was admitted into his local hospital after his penis had not returned to normal size after using Viagra in a one night stand the previous night. His doctor diagnosed him with gay and prescribed him with the only known cure to homosexuality: circumcision. Josenpai lives a circumcised life now and is happy with his new penis after the excruciating surgery.

## Schemes

### Relationships

Kayozz takes relationship coaching from Musclestacio, who was last seen dating LilyPichu. Known to Simp super hard when in a relationship and say gay shit like in the picture to the right. This man has no shame and will simp to the extreme. He was last seen getting SIMP tattooed on his knuckles.

> "*I rate Mumgate a solid 8/10*"
> ― Jhon
>
>

### Locked out of Heaven

Josenpapi and Mike Smith were involved in a scheme to have Jhonadab lock himself out of his house. Mike took the keys, opened the car, and then returned the keys to their spot inside the house. He then proceeded to make a lot of car noises, alerting Jhonadab. Jhonadab had been distracted by threats from Kayozz of him throwing his pizza box into the roof, so he did not pay attention to the fact that the keys were hanging next to the door, and locked the door from the inside. This effectively locked him out of his own house, leading to the locked out of heaven fiasco of 2018. Jose later told him the pizza box was on the roof, but Jhonadab refused to believe him because he did not want to look like even more of a fool. The pizza box is still on his roof to this day.

## Controversies

### Relationships

#### Andrea

> "*\*Crying\**"
> ― Jose
>
>

#### Taco

> "*\*Crying\**"
> ― Jose
>
>

#### Stephy

> "*\*Crying\**"
> ― Jose
>
>

#### Brit

> "*\*Crying\**"
> ― Jose
>
>

#### Rosy

> "*\*Babysitting\**"
> ― Jose
>
>

### Ties to El Chapo

In 2017 Josenpai, known as Josenpapi at the time, had started an immensely successful career in Northern Latin America with the alias of Aatrox.

He became known as the best Aatrox in LAN and was given multiple awards for his performances in LCSLAN and the Diamond 5 Low Elo Invitational.

Unfortunately at the height of his career Josenpai was allegedly involved in deals with the Mexican Drug Cartels and was permanently banned from continuing his career in Latin America.

> "*I'll order your head cutoff by El Chapo b\*\*\*\*. I've got friends in high places.*"
> ― Josenpapi
>
>

### League of Legends

Josenpai has been routinely quoted as being the unquestioned carry of team Cinnamon Toes Crunch. However his team criticizes him for his lack to think things through, or to act without explanation. This, together with the claims and proof that if he had built IE the game was won, leaves the question up in the air of whether he is fit to continue his career or if he should retire to TFT.

> "*I just bought IE*"
> ― Jose (right after his team surrenders)
>
>

### The Great Cuck of 2017

On one of his many visits to Dallas, Jose and Jhon visited their friends. It was late and night and while hungry, they decided to hit a local IHOP (now IHOB) for dinner. While waiting for food, Jose fingered Ricky's girlfriend in front of everyone. Ricky was so shocked he didn't know how to react, and seeing the joy in his girlfriend's face he did not have the heart to end her pleasure and just continued to watch it happen. Some now say that this was the last straw that led to the great Ricky/Shayla Divorce Dispute.

### Headphanie

Jose was caught getting head at Ricky's multiple times by the way of candid camera. Although most videos are no longer in existence after a copyright strike, there is still a screenshot of Stephanie giving him sloppy toppy.

### Giving Up

After his last ~~three~~ five major relationships have failed Kayozz has resigned himself to Cheap but Pretty Hoes™ that amble around Valero.

## Trivia

* 3 inch long, 6 inch wide penis (He calls it the UFO)