Big Brother 6/Week 9

So we thought Ally was going to win HoH because she got it done really fast but to my surprise Marie ended up winning so I was freaked the fuck out!! i went and talked to her and she gave me some hypocritical response about how i nominated therefore i MUST be the target this week... which like is some bullshit because she’s already nominated me before and the only reason she was nominated was because she was Ain’s partner and Brian was with Aaron. So whatever I’m keeping my cool which for me means making vague sassy comments in the house chat without instigating anything.
Then the veto comp happens and I just don’t really have time to play so I was CONVINCED i would be evicted this week no matter what so I decide to be The Instigator™️ and start a fight with mainly Marie and sort of Ain since they’re closely aligned. Figured i might as well seal my fate once Ain wins the veto. This goes about as expected....
UNTIL!!!!
Marie actually messages me last night after everything fell out and after me basically hounding her for being a goat she wants us two goats to align together LMFAOOOOOO so basically ally is toast this week because the vote will either tie or already exist in my favor, and Ain is VERY pissed off at Marie for trying to save me. So basically my abrasive personality and my lack of ability to give a shit led to Marie having a paranoid breakdown and absolutely destroying her game lmao <3 like me or ally leaving is good for her game but me staying is SIGNIFICANTLY WORSE because i have several friends on the jury who I’ve made it clear I am playing for, I’ve at least attempted to be proactive, and I have my threeway with Aaron and Hailey intact, while Ally has basically nobody 😂😂😂😂 I have no clue how we were able to pull this off but somehow...... I’m gonna be in final 6 and I think I don’t have the worst shot ever of winning despite being nothing but controversial and opinionated the entire time. So we’ll see how this goes!"

it's final 6 right now and the people left are myself, aaron, ain, brian, hailey, marie. i'm loosely aligned with or have a deal with all of them, but my goal right now is to make it to f3 with aaron and hailey and ideally win final hoh and evict aaron.
my next target is either brian or marie, both are good at competitions and both are the biggest jury threats imo followed by ain.
the past two weeks i've been nominated and it's been super annoying to feel like i have a lack of control as to where the vote is going. week before last during the duos twist, brian told me he wasn't going to use pov (if he did it autonoms me/rhi) and then did anyway so that was annoying as shit esp bc he didn't give me a heads up on it, and i lost rhi again so that's really shitty considering she was one of my top allies. i'm relieved that she got evicted without me having a hand in it, because i know she needed to go at some point and i didn't want to be the one to do it, but it's just so soon and she rlly deserved better.
as for the last eviction, i fought really hard to get hoh and submitted a perfect score 4 hours after it was posted but marie was speedier than me and that really sucks because i feel like that was perfect timing-wise to target brian/marie/ain and instead i lost trent. it's not horrible bc out of hailey/aaron/him i definitely would've rather had hailey and aaron in the game, and trent did have to go eventually, but having another number to help take out that trio would've been nice. too little too late i suppose. the eviction definitely did help me see thru who's really loyal to me and where people's priorities are. it's unfortunate because i feel like brian is genuinely loyal to me, but i'm not stupid and i think it's bc he can beat me at the end. aaron is also loyal right now and i adore him, he's honestly my rock right now and i trust him with my life. marie is a snake bitch but we been knew, she tried to flip the vote on me and i'll forgive but i sure as fuck won't forget anytime soon.
right now i'm worried about how the jury will perceive my game if i make it to the end. i haven't won any competitions besides a single veto during the triple eviction, and i worry that my game won't be valued bc i didn't actually hold any power. i feel like i've done a decent amount towards swaying votes and getting people pitted against each other -- my fave moment thus far this season was getting tyler to call out ain for targetting him (bc i told rhi that she was the one behind it) when it was mostly me. i love tyler 2 death and i was sad to see him go bc i love playing with him but i rlly needed to weaken the ally/rhi/tyler trio and that was the best way to do it imo.
overall i am content with the way i've been playing, i feel like i've really been socially decent other than a bit of a rough period before jury when i was going thru some personal issues and i've been trying to see things from a game perspective but allowing myself to have a personality with people as well. my goal in this game was to get to know new people and work with strangers and honestly i've done that and i'm happy to have met people like brian and ain and hailey. it's getting to the final stretch now and i really need things to go my way, i'm nervous but i hope i can make it happen!! (with my luck i'm going to die in the live eviction tomorrow after writing this lol)"