Episode 7 - Electric Boogaloo

With the RX-39487 computer fried, Capac and Splitsie struggle to escape RX-394.

# Electric Boogaloo - Synopsis

## On board the RX-394

Capac is running down a nightmarish hallway.

He is being chased by a lovelorn forklift. He sings the "Sneaky sneaky sneak" song while hiding around the corner. The forklift drives past. Capac runs and opens yet another door, only to face the forklift again. Capac serpentines, runs up stairs, and hides behind shelves, until he can slip away unseen.

On the RX-394 bridge, the computer thunders back online. Splitsie instinctively blames Capac. The AI greets Splitsie by name. Splitsie is suprised the language protocols are comprehensible. The AI laughs creepily and suddenly lays down the law: Splitsie is accused of trespassing a restricted zone and will be removed from the premises.

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> RX-394: Since the security section is no longer replying to internal memos, I have formulated, based on available data, a new procedure for the removal of personnel from restricted sections. Explosive decompression in 3, 2, 1...
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Capac has gotten rid of the forklift and is looking for Steve and Splitsie when, to his joy, the explosive decompression tosses Splitsie against the interior wall next to him. Despite Capac's haphazard summary of events, they immediately agree that they need to get out of here. Capac grabs Steve and the sled. Having been unconscious on the way in, Splitsie relies on Capac to remember where he parked the ship. Capac babbles on about being irresistable to forklifts while they run through a maze of hallways.

A thundering noise makes them worry that the reactor is melting down. Capac insists that he initiated the reactor sequence "in safety mode". Splitsie is exasperated that they finally find something that could answer some questions, and of course Capac goes and blows it up. Capac defends himself that nothing blew up--over the noise of explosions of ship sections that were entirely unimportant and unrelated. Splitsie just wants to get out, but they are lost.

> Capac: How will our intrepid heroes escape the impenetrable belly of this colossal beast! Find out next episode of Capac Saves the Universe!
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> Splitsie: Saves the universe? You can barely save a text file on the computer!
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They can't go back because the hallway behind them is filled with fire. Stranded at an impassable wrecked section, the blown open outer hull gives Capac an idea. They sit in the mining sled and use it to fly out. On their way along the outer hull to their parked ship, Capac wonders whether forklifts eat noodles.

## On Board the RX-39487

After arriving back home in RX-39487, Splitsie notices it's awfully quiet in here--and it's not the lack of blaring emergency alarms. The computer seems dead. A manual start is necessary, which also requires rebooting MS Windows. Splitsie and Capac do a full pre-flight check with the dilligence reserved to reading terms&conditions.

Meanwhile, RX-394 calls all maintenance vehicles to the main hangar for repair and emergency refit. The forklift obeys.

After releasing the docking clamps pod-racing style, Splitsie and Capac move their ship out of the range of a potential blast radius. Capac worries less that RX-394 will blow up, but that it will chase them. RX-394 commands them to await further instructions. Hearing the AI voice, Capac thinks Splitsie has made a lady mad. RX-394 threatens with disciplinary action for multiple infractions, which Capac thinks is something kinky.

With thrusters set to full blast, Splitsie attempts to run and hide the ship in the interference of the star system. Capac imagines a complex backstory how Splitsie might have enraged a former girlfriend, but Splitsie wants to be left alone to think. Capac goes spend some time with Steve in the engine room, where he finds parts of their computer AI missing and others corrupted. Since the computer voice is sadly gone, Steve, a man of few words, is promoted to the ship's poet laureate.

Splitsie tries to reason with RX-394, but the AI is stuck in a loop of rules and operational procedures.

RX-39487 boosts away majestically.

## Epilog

Checking the sensors, Capac and Splitsie conclude they have gotten away. While speculating about all the ways how "she" could still get them, Splitsie notices he too is now calling the AI "she".

(Sound of a Jump Drive) RX-394 has caught up with them and the AI laughs, "Hello boys."

## Dedication

> Dedicated to the memory of Carl Nelson
> the best Viking biker uncle a guy could have
> 1949-2016
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> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMmyQFhYQ\_8
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## Related video

If you too think that Capac cannot save a text file, watch this: