Batman gets Doxed on Twitter

## Overview

"Batman gets Doxed on Twitter" is the 18th episode of the Hippo Saga.

Batman returns alongside Robin and his new cat girl maid. This time the dark knight is patrolling twitter, but things get complicated when the Riddler suddenly hacks into Batman's computer, threatening to dox Batman (and even get him cancelled) if he doesn't give into his demands of the Joker.

## Original Video Description:

After losing mod on discord, Batman moved to twitter to spread justice.

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pantsahat

Astolfo VA: https://twitter.com/CrySpy27

Joker VA:    / theboldone

## Characters:

#### Main characters:

* Batman
* Astolfo
* Jiko
* Hippo (Non-Speaking background cameo)

#### Other characters:

* Joker
* The Riddler

## Transcript:

Batman: Oh no! Somebody just posted the wrong opinion online! I better act fast!

Jiko: Yo, Batman. I made you your third breakfast. This is the last one. No more talks about bulking.

Batman: What is this?!

Jiko: It's toast.

Batman: This is *bread!* You skipped the one step in making *toast!*

Jiko: Tastes great to me!

Batman: DON'T EAT MY FOOD!

Astolfo: Hello, Master Batman! I made you friendship chocolates filled with my love!

Batman: Robin! Don't sneak up on me! I've been trained in the ways of the blade by the top Redditors!

Jiko: They must have also trained you how to bathe.

Batman: That's rich coming from a cat! Get it? Cause cats don't like water?

Astolfo: Batman, did you replace Alfred with a  cat maid?

Batman: Robin, you know I have a thing for women who are also cats.

Astolfo: Oh, what? Are you some kind of... *furry?*

Jiko: You're asking the guy in the full latex bat suit?

Astolfo: Batman! You can't just replace your family with your cat girl girlfriend!

Batman: YOU WANNA BET?

Jiko: We are *not* dating. We have an on-again off-again relationship. Mainly because if he was on me too long, my bones would shatter.

Batman: Robin, this jealousy is unlike you. Just do what I do and suppress your emotions with work.

Astofo: You haven’t left the cave in weeks. The office declared you legally dead!

Batman: You know, my parents went outside once... *They didn't come back.*

Jiko: Cool. So what have you even been doing on that computer?

Batman: I'm learning a new form of combat from an elite group of justice fighters called the Keyboard Warriors.

Astolfo: Um, Batman? It looks like you're just harassing people on twitter.

Batman: I'm doing God's work!

Jiko: Wait, what's happening to the screen?

Riddler: Salutations, Batman! I, the Riddler, have just bypassed your MacAfee premium firewall!

Batman: Oh no, it's this idiot.

Riddler: idiot? Do you have any idea how high my IQ is? I ghost wrote Rick and Morty! I bet you don't even understand the significance of the pickle!

Batman: Aw man, he means business. What do you want, Riddler?

Riddler: You must answer my riddles, Batman! Or I will-

Batman: Nah, I don't feel like it.

Riddler: What? Batman, that's not how this works.

Batman: Why not?

Riddler: Because if you don't answer my riddles, Batman, then I'll dox you on twitter!

Batman: Nice try, Riddler. But I already know where I live!

Riddler: That's not it! I scrolled through the last 5 years of your Tweet history, and found something Twitter would disagree with. You'll be trending for weeks! Ratio'd to oblivion.

Batman: Riddler! My viewpoints have changed! I'll agree with whatever the popular consensus is! No man can win a fight against twitter!

Riddler: Not good enough, Batman!

Astolfo: Don't worry, Batman. I was trending once, for a *monster reason.* People will forget! ...Hopefully.

Jiko: I'm going to have to distance myself from you publicly. You understand.

Batman: You bested me, Riddler. Just tell me why…

Riddler: Oh, besides to prove a better person than you? It's quite simple really!

Joker: Hi Batman.

Batman: JOKER! Why on earth would you team up with Riddler? He's lame.

Joker: I needed help hacking your computer… You know, all it takes is one bad tweet to ruin a life. You see, my father got canceled on twitter, and in his gamer rage he went into the bathroom and grabbed his Gillette razor (hashtag not sponsored by the way) and then he-

Batman: JOKER! Why would your backstory have a sponsor? Get to the point!

Joker: Point, Point, Point… You see, you see, I don't need a point, Batman. But what I do need... is those Robin's thigh pics! COME TO JOKER...

Astolfo: You'll never get those pics, Joker!

Batman: Riddler! How are you okay a part of this?

Riddler: Batman, is it gaaaaaay, if I'm getting paid? Now time for the riddle! What do you call-

Jiko: There we go.

Batman: Woah! Jiko! You just stopped the Riddler! Nice work.

Astolfo: Batman, I think she’s just stealing the computer.

Batman: What?

Astolfo: Batman, should we go after her?

Batman: Let her go, Robin. She saved us from our worst foe yet... *TWITTER!* Now I can go outside and... touch grass or punch a poor person.

## Post Credits/Out Take

Astolfo: Na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na, Subscribe!

## Trivia

* This is the only video in the Hippo Saga where Hippo doesn't get a single line. While Hippo doesn't speak through out this whole episode, he is in the background on the couch the entire time.
* When Astolfo says he was "trending once for a monster reason", he is referring to the "Astolfo Monster C---" meme. which originated from an Astolfo cosplayer on Twitter posting photos of themselves holding a can of Monster Energy near their privates for scale.
* Batman's IP address is shown in this episode as "20.48.63.469"
* The tune Astolfo sings in post credits scene is based on the 1966 Batman theme song.

## References

1. ↑ https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/astolfo-monster-cock
2. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ9ymE2Rcxo