Teen Idols (Biebermania Edition)

## Episode blurb

The guys come down with a bad case of Biebermania, for which the only cure is more Bieber. Also... April Fools Day! The Legality of Taking a Cop's Gun as a Joke Parents of Teenagers Old Man Walmart Vigilantism NJ Woman Striving to Become World's Fattest Tim and Tom Solve Your Masturbating Roommate Problems Tom's [...]

## Running Gags

* Tim hates teenagers
* Tim hates the Baby Boomers
* We're So Old
* Tim quits (first time)

## Quotes

**Tim**: "[Justin Bieber] was going to play at the mall, like a New Kids On The Block performance. Or y'know, Tiffany."

\*\*\*
**Tom**: "He was born in 1994. Remember 1994, you old shit?"

\*\*\*
**Tim**: "Was he born after Kurt Cobain died?"

**Tom**: "March 1st."

**Tim**: "Ok, so they overlap for a month. So he's not Kurt Cobain reincarnated."

\*\*\*
**Tom**: "There's a lot of pressure for me to be 'on' ..."

**Tim**: "Your mom's sitting in the next room. She's a pretty hardcore stage mom ... you should see the way she talks to me before every show. [in Mom voice]- 'Now you don't talk when Tommy talks!' ... 'Cause when Tommy talks, that's what people tune in to hear!' ... I get it, Mrs R."

**Tom**: "She wants a lot for me, I'm her special boy."

**Tim**: "She wears a pink sweater with your face on it."

**Tom**: "Which I appreciate."

**Tim**: "With your name spelled out in glitter."

\*\*\*
**Tim**: "Tom, you know how I feel about teenagers, right?"

**Tom**: "Yes."

**Tim**: "They're a bunch of entitled little pieces of garbage."

\*\*\*
**Tim**: "They think the world owes them everything."

**Tom**: "Except the ones that listen to this show, of course."

**Tim**: "Nah, they're all dicks."

\*\*\*
**Tim**: "Hey teenagers, suck an egg."

**Tom**: "Hey. Come on. Keep it clean."

**Tim**: "Sorry."

\*\*\*
**Tim**: "This is what got my Bieber up."

**Tom**: "That's wildly inappropriate, Tim."

**Tim**: "That came out wrong, I think."

\*\*\*
**Tim**: "If people start complaining on the internet, I give it 6 months before people stop using the internet."

\*\*\*
**Tim**: "My advice to get out of any sticky situation - just kiss a girl on the mouth."

\*\*\*
**Tom**: "Our friend was in college and had bunk beds and he was on the bottom bunk ... and he heard his roommate going at it like [makes panting noise] [makes rhythmic noise]"

**Tim**: "Tom, we get it!"

**Tom**: "Tim, it's a radio show!"

**Tim**: "You're an expert foley artist."

**Tom**: "So he just says, in a firm voice, 'masturbating'."

\*\*\*
**Tom**: "Man, we just sound like fucking old men."

**Tim**: "I'm fine with that."

\*\*\*
**Tim**: "Don't bother following me on twitter because I'm no longer on the show. Dicks."

**Tom**: "You've sat back down, are you back?"

**Tim**: "I have nowhere to go, I live here."

**Tom**: "This is it for you, your last episode."

**Tim**: "Yup, I'm packing my bindle and hitting the road."

**Tom**: "Hobo style."

**Tim**: "I'm riding the rails for a while. Who knows what will become of me ... I can no longer deal with your overbearing Mom, Tom. Have a nice life, everyone."

**Tom**:"If you want to catch Tim's new show, he'll be down at the railyards-"

**Tim**: "By a bonfire."

\*\*\*
## References

1. ↑ https://soundcloud.com/completeguide/teen-idols-biebermania-edition