Unikitty, Puppycorn And Master Frown Are Pirates A Spongebob Parody

**Master Frown:** *[Looks around at the Happy Burger with a telescope]* Where could they be? They should've been here hours ago! Arrgh! Not a customer in sight. If I don't make any money today, I'll surely break out in a rash!

*[Unikitty, Puppycorn, and Master Frown are playing a board pirate game]*

**Unikitty:** Yippee! I'm rich! Look, Puppycorn, eight gold doubloons!

**Master Frown:** Wait, I saw it first! Ha! *[Jumps onto table and sweats]* Mine! Mine! Huh?!

**Unikitty:** Boy, Master Frown, you sure are sweaty!

**Master Frown:** What's this? Where are the doubloons?

**Unikitty:** There are no real doubloons, Master Frown! It's a game called "The Score Creeper's Treasure Hunt".

**Puppycorn:** Based on a real treasure map.

**Unikitty:** Take a break and play around with us.

**Puppycorn:** Yeah! C'mon, sweaty.

**Master Frown:** Have you finished cleaning the tables?

**Unikitty:** I cleaned the tables, Master Frown!

**Master Frown:** Ay, but did you scrape all the gum off the underside?

**Unikitty:** *[chewing gum]* I already took care of it.

**Master Frown:** Ha ha ha. All right, lads. Looks like you've shanghaied me.

**Puppycorn:** My turn. *[rolls dice]* Five. *[makes raspberry noise while moving piece. Reads card]* One of your shipmates has been a bad pirate! Send him to the brig! Hmmm. *[Unikitty turns her eyes toward Master Frown]* It's off to jail for you, Master Frown.

**Master Frown:** Puppycorn, you're fired!

**Puppycorn:** But I don't even work in here!

**Master Frown:** Well, Mr. Happy says to me you're hired, And you're welcome.

**Puppycorn:** Boy, would I?!

**Master Frown:** Nah. You're fired. *[Laughs]* No. I'm just kidding with you.

**Unikitty:** My turn. *[rolls dice]* One, two, three, four. *[picks up card and reads it]* Look for the Deacon's Goose thru the fork in the old tree and head that way. *[looks through the hole in the tree]* Well, I see Master Frown's zipper is undone.

**Master Frown:** Shiver me timbers!

**Unikitty:** *[laughs]* Just kidding, Frownie. I'm almost to the treasure. Your turn again, Master Frown.

**Master Frown:** *[rolls dice]* Ooh, gold eyes. One, two.

**Unikitty:** *[picks up card and reads it]* You are a real pirate. Go straight to the "X" that marks the spot. You get to dig for treasure, Master Frown!

**Master Frown:** Treasure. *[digs and mini plastic treasure chest appears]* There it is! It's the Score Creeper's Treasure! Gold, gold, gold. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. *[starts sweating profusely]*

**Unikitty:** Hey, Master Frown is getting all sweaty again.

**Crankybeard:** *[walks into The Happy Burger]* Rev up those fryers, ‘cause I am sure hungry for one-- *[Master Frown picks him up, holds him over his head, and heads for the door]* Help! Help!

**Master Frown:** Get out! Get out!

**Crankybeard:** But I want a Uniburger! *[He throws him out the door]* My leg!

**Master Frown:** WE ARE CLOSED! *[rushes back to the game table]* Ready for another round?! This is my kind of game!

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** Hooray!

**Master Frown:** Six! One, two... *[scenery changes from day to night. Unikitty and Puppycorn are tired; Puppycorn is even asleep on the table]* I win again! Oh, that's seventeen times in a row.

**Unikitty:** I think we ought to call it a night, Master Frown. I really got to get some sleep.

**Master Frown:** Oh, you can't walk out on me now.

**Unikitty:** I'm sorry, Master Frown. *[she yawns, slings Puppycorn over her shoulder, and the two go back to their castle]* See you tomorrow. *[Rattling noises are heard]* Huh? Who's there?

**Puppycorn:** Let me go see. [Turns on the light]

**Master Frown:** Come on you two. One more game. I can smell the treasure.

[Puppycorn and Unikitty angrily push Master Frown outside the castle]

**Unikitty:** Master Frown. I need to inform you that it's late.

**Puppycorn:** Go back to your apartment at Frown Town and go to bed. Good night, Master Frown. [angrily shuts the doors, only to find out that Master Frown is inside the castle again]

**Master Frown:** Wind is perfect and the tide is right. Let's hunt for treasure.

**Unikitty:** Master Frown! You have to go- *[opens the doors and Master Frown is now outside]*

**Master Frown:** That's awful, lads. If the Score Creeper hears you, we'll never get his treasure.

**Puppycorn:** Master Frown! You need-

**Master Frown:** I'll roll for you two.

**Unikitty:** But, Master-

**Master Frown:** *[rolls dice]* Eight paces, north. That's a good start, lads.

**Puppycorn:** [Getting ready to rage] Seriously! Go back home! We want to go to sleep!

**Master Frown:** [As Puppycorn's eyes are glowing purple] One, two, three...

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** *[turning into their rage forms, yelling in fury]* **MASTER FROWN!!!!! WE WANT TO *GO TO BED!!!!! GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!***

[This sends Master Frown into a total panic as he quickly puts the board game away and runs back home as fast as he can.]

**Master Frown**: *[When morning arrives]* Avast. Castle, ho. Heave two, and prepare to be boarded.

**Unikitty:** Aw! Go home already! I'm done playing that game, Master Frown!

**Master Frown:** That’s Captain Frown to you and this is no game. We're gonna be pirates.

**Unikitty:** Pirates?

**Master Frown:** Ay! How'd you like to go on a real treasure hunt, with a real treasure map?

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** *[Puppycorn appears from the side of Unikitty]* Treasure? *[dancing around as their pupils in their eyes have turned into treasure chests]* We're gonna be pirates, we're gonna be pirates!

**Master Frown:** Ay, ay, ay. Belay that skipping. Pirates don't skip. *[throws them a bag of pirate stuff]* Put on this pirate garb, so I won't be embarrassed to be seen with ya. Arrgh.

**Unikitty:** Oh, Puppycorn. Look! Peg legs and eye patches.

**Master Frown:** Now, don't you feel more like pirates?

**Unikitty:** *[Walks towards the plank using two peg legs]* Look, I'm Peggy the Pirate! *[falls on plank]*

**Puppycorn:** *[Walks towards the plank with two separate eyepatches covering his eyes]* I'm Blind Beard the Pirate! *[falls on Unikitty]*

**Unikitty:** Ow.

**Master Frown:** Arrgh! *[sailing overworld]* Keep a sharp lookout, Unikitty. According to the map, we're close to the first landmark.

**Unikitty:** Really? Can we see the map?

**Master Frown:** Uh... no! Only the captain can lay eyes on the map.

**Unikitty:** Okie dokie, then.

**Master Frown:** Arrgh, a pirate doesn't say, "okie dokie, then." A pirate says, "arrgh!"

**Unikitty:** Okie... oops. *[laughs while a butterfly flies by her]* I mean... *[standing up]* arrgh! Captain Frown. *[eyes widen]* Captain, we're about to hit... uhh... I mean... arrgh, Capt., arrgh, we're, arrgh, about, arrgh, to hit, arrgh...

**Master Frown:** Out with it man, arrgh!

**Puppycorn:** I, arrgh, think, arrgh, she's trying, arrgh, to say...! *[crash]* land.

**Master Frown:** ARRGH! From now on, only the captain says, arrgh! Status report, Mrs. Unikitty?

**Unikitty:** The whole ship is in the ground captain.

**Master Frown:** Arrgh, we're marooned then. Our treasure hunt will have to continue on foot. This is it, guys, from that plant with two leaves on it. 10,000 paces east.

**Unikitty:** But, Master Frown, that plant has... *[Master Frown pulls a leaf off]* Which way, captain

**Master Frown:** Ensign Puppycorn, which way is east?

**Puppycorn:** Uhh... let's see, uhh... *[points]* that way, captain!

**Master Frown:** 9,997... 9,998... 9,999... 10,000! Where's the "X"? Supposed to be right here! 10,000 paces east.

**Puppycorn:** Ooh! East? I thought you said "weast"!

**Master Frown:** Weast? What kind of compass you reading lad?

**Puppycorn:** This one, sir.

**Master Frown:** That's west, Puppycorn. You're fired again. *[cuts to the crew walking again]* 9,551... 9,552...

**Unikitty:** Master Frown, we're tired.

**Puppycorn:** And hungry.

**Master Frown:** Ooh. So this is my crew. You get a little tired, and a wee-bit hungry, and you want to shove off for home. Arrgh! That sickens me. A pirate is not judged by the notches in his compass, but by the sides of his booty. A pirate is judged by the loyalty and his crew. And without a loyal crew... *[Unikitty's eyes fill up with tears and turns into Sad Kitty]* What am I captain of?! Just... a bunch of sand! *[crying]*

**Puppycorn:** Don't cry, Captain Frown. [crying]

**Sad Kitty:** *[sniffles and cries]* Yeah, we'll be your loyal crew. *[both cry for a minute]*

**Master Frown:** You'll stay with me then? [Stops crying as well after a minute]

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** We'll be the most loyal pirate crew ever!

**Master Frown:** I knew I could count on you boys. One for all!

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** And all for one! *[laying on ground at night outside tent]*

**Unikitty:** I'm so loyal, I don't even mind sleeping on the cold, hard ground while Captain Frown sleeps in his warm, dry tent.

**Puppycorn:** I'm so loyal, I haven't bathed in weeks.

**Unikitty:** But we've only been gone a few hours.

**Puppycorn:** I know. *[laughs. Unikitty moves away]*

**Unikitty:** I'm so loyal, I don't wanna sleep till we find the treasure. Let's go see if the captain will go now!

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** Captain Frown?

**Unikitty:** He's not here.

**Puppycorn:** Look! The treasure map.

**Unikitty:** Only the captain can look at the map, Puppycorn.

**Puppycorn:** Yeah...

**Unikitty:** Puppycorn, what are you doing?

**Puppycorn:** Nothing.

**Unikitty:** Puppycorn, you're not supposed to look at the map. *[Puppycorn touches the map]*

**Puppycorn:** I'm not looking, I'm touching. There's no rule against that, is there?

**Unikitty:** No, guess there isn't. *[Both poking map. Map opens]* Oops! Puppycorn, it opened by itself. *[Both laugh. Eyes enlarge and search the map]*

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** The map, the map, gotta see it, gotta look at it. *[Eyes freeze for a second and then pop back in their heads.]*

**Puppycorn:** Unikitty?

**Unikitty:** Yeah?

**Puppycorn:** Did you notice something familiar about this map?

**Unikitty:** You mean, like that it's our game board taped to a piece of paper?

**Master Frown:** *[appearing right behind them]* Do you think this is a problem?

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** *[scream]* Master Frown!

**Master Frown:** Sneaking peeks at me treasure map?

**Puppycorn:** We're sorry.

**Master Frown:** That's mutiny on my ship. So you think ol' Captain Frown has gone crazy, do ye?

**Unikitty:** Not at all, Captain Frown. We don't think that at all!

**Puppycorn:** I think that.

**Master Frown:** I'm gonna throw you overboard for saying that!

**Unikitty:** *[gasps]* Look! It's the "X".

**Master Frown:** *[eyes go into "X" like symbol]* "X" marks the spot!

**Unikitty:** Wow! That game really is based on a real treasure map.

**Master Frown:** Well, what are you waiting for, lads? Dig! Dig! Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig.

**Unikitty:** We got it, Captain Frown.

**Master Frown:** Ha, ha. Hand it up to me, lads. Heave! *[Brings treasure up]* We finally found it. *[opens up the treasure chest]*

**Female Singers:** The Score Creeper's Treasure.

**All:** Wow!

**Unikitty:** What are you going to do with your share, Little Bro?

**Puppycorn:** I don't know. How are you going to spend your share, Big Sis?

**Master Frown:** What shares? You're not getting any of my treasure!

**Unikitty:** We found it together. So we deserve a share!

**Master Frown:** Well, I'm the captain. And I say it's mine!

**Unikitty:** What about loyalty?

**Master Frown:** All for one.

**Unikitty:** And one for all.

**Master Frown:** All for one.

**Unikitty:** And one for all.

**Master Frown:** All for one.

**Unikitty:** And one for all.

**Score Creeper:** *[sleeping]* I'm the Score Creeper.

**Master Frown:** All for one.

**Unikitty:** And one for all.

**Score Creeper:** *[sleeping]* I'm the Score Creeper. *[wakes up]* Who dares wake the Score Creeper? Keep it down will ya? I'm trying to get some sleep.

**Master Frown:** All for one.

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** And one for all. *[Lightning]*

**Score Creeper:** Who dug up the Score Creeper's treasure?

**Master Frown:** *[shoves chest toward Unikitty and Puppycorn]* They did!

**Score Creeper:** Arrgh! So you two scallywags dug up me treasure?!

**Unikitty and Puppycorn:** [Sobbing in fear] Uh-huh!

**Score Creeper:** Well, you saved me a lot of diggin' you did. So here's an reward for the two of you!

**Unikitty:** Wow!

**Female Singers:** Two Gold Doubloons.

**Master Frown:** Wait! I'm captain of this crew! Where's my reward?

**Score Creeper:** Hmmm, I guess you're right. A little something for your trouble. *[Flicks something to Master Frown]*

**Master Frown:** Gold, gold, gold, gold, gold. Huh? Why, it's just a little plastic treasure chest.

**Female Singers:** Plastic!

**Score Creeper:** Aye, but it's based on a real treasure chest. *[laughs]*

**Puppycorn:** Gee, Master Frown, you're looking all sweaty again.

*[The Score Creeper turns into pink smoke and vanishes.]*