Chapter 41

Akira spends the day and overnight at Nurse Okabe's house, while the hot water heater is being replaced at her house. Okabe-chan takes the time to redo Akira's hairstyle into a sexy ponytail. They also spend time talking about intimate girl-with-girl topics.

## Features of This Chapter

### Story Setting

At Akira's home, then at Okabe-chan's home

### Time Line

One 24 hour period, from early afternoon, to evening, to overnight, to morning, to afternoon.

### Transition Milestones

Akira asks Okabe-chan about a variety of topics affecting her personal life. Many were about private and intimate areas where Akira is still unaware of what to do.

### Relationship Evolution

Akira and Okabe-chan become closer together as girlfriends.

### Lessons Learned

Akira has learned to go to a mature adult for advice on intimate girl's topics, and to carefully consider the response for her own benefit.

ORE GA WATASHI NI NARU MADE (UNTIL I BECOME ME)

CHAPTER 41 OF THE MANGA (REVISED ENGLISH TRANSLATION)

## Previously

On Christmas Day, Akira attended a holiday party hosted by Kazuki at his house. There was delicious food, as well as fun and games to be had all around. Except for it being found out that Kazuki keeps a soft-core video of an anime girl who looks like Akira, and Akira together with Shouma fell down the stairs, the party was a blast, a tremendous success. At least that is something that speaks well for Kazuki. Afterwards, outside, all the girls had a friendly (more or less) snowball fight with the new fallen snow. When Akira got home, she went into the bathroom for a bath before bedtime. However, she ended up dousing herself with ice cold water; Akira did not know that the hot water heater had quit working during the day. So what is Akria going to do about having a bath ?

## This Chapter's Story

The next day, the day after Akria went to the holiday party at Kazuki's house, Mom and Akira are sitting in the front room. Mom tells Akira that the hot water heater had quit working, and she did not realize that the bathtub was filled with cold water. Anyway, it will take a 2 OR 3 days to remove the old water heater and install a new one. Mom suggests that Akira use the public bathhouses. However, Akira would have to use the women's section, and she is a bit apprehensive about her seeing, and herself being seen, naked by strangers in the bathhouse. Although she has an attractive anatomical female body, she still has leftover negative concerns from when she was a boy. Later that morning, Akira sends text messages to an adult friend of hers, Nurse Okabe. Their text message conversations were as follows---

Akira: Hi ! The water heater at our house quit working, but I don't want to have to use the public bathhouse.

Okabe: I'm off work today, as it is the beginning of my week long winter break. Is your water heater going to be repaired ?

Akira: It will take a couple or so days to replace it.

Okabe: Do you want to stay over at my house ?

That evening finds Akira having a good scrub and a long, hot soak in the bathtub at Okabe-chan's home. Akira wonders to herself if it might be possible for her to shave her underarms ? She then decides that this isn't her home, so she is not going to ask. Soon, Okabe's voice can be heard from the door to the bathroom, saying that she is going to leave a change of clothes for Akira to wear after she gets out of the tub. After a while, Akira comes into the bedroom, where Okabe-chan already is. Okabe-chan remarks on how amazingly cute Akira looks wearing the little girl style bunny pajamas that were set out for her. Akira asks if her pajamas, with the bunny ears and cotton tail, are a bit too childish for a teenager to wear ? Okabe-chan answers, not at all ! Akira inquires if Okabe-chan would wear such cute, juvenile styled clothing ? She remarks that she is probably past her 'cuteness phase' ! Akira profusely thanks Okabe-chan. Okabe-chan remarks that it was only a bath. Akria clarifies, saying that she is thankful to be able to wear cute, little girl clothes now, since she can't wear such attire at home. Mom wouldn't allow it. Okabe-chan says that she only wants to spend time with her 'cute little sister'. If you want to thank me, suggests Okabe-chan, then why not just call me "Onee-chan" (lit. Big Sister) ? Akira slowly repeats back, "Onee-chan", and Okabe-chan melts down and hugs Akira as a big sister would, indicating that she is proud of her **"Imouto"** (lit. *Little Sister*).

Okabe-chan has Akira sit on the edge of the bed. Since Akira had shampooed her hair, Okabe-chan wants to comb it out and reset her hairstyle. Akira is agreeable. Yet this is the perfect setup for an intimate, heart-to-heart, girl-with-girl, scathingly honest conversation and gossip. Okabe-chan begins by mentioning that she only knows Akira after she became a girl. But Akira's Mother still remembers when Akira used to be a boy, and always has those memories to compare with whom she sees now, her daughter, you, Akira. This dilemma can lead to misunderstanding on Mom's part, as she doesn't know what to do or which way to go. Okabe-chan is confident that Mom can come to understand if only Akira will talk to and explain things to her.

In the meantime, Okabe-chan tells Akira that she can wear whatever style of clothes she wants to while she is here, even little girl's clothing styles, and you can be as cute as you want to be, Akira. Okabe-chan then comments on how silky and manageable Akira's hair is. In fact, she is a little jealous of such soft, adorable hair. Okabe-chan excuses herself, saying that she is going to look for something to tie up Akira's hair. She also asks Akira if there is a particular hairstyle that she wants to try out ? Twin tails, maybe ? A sexy ponytail ? Akira goes 'all mushy', at being panmpered by Okabe-chan. She wants to intimately hug Okabe-chan, but discards that idea, as she tells herself she doesn't deserve to do so, because **I** (lit. *Ore*{masculine}) used to be a nasty boy who hated girls ! Feeling like this, whatever am I going to do ?

The digital clock on the dresser reads 19:22 (7:22 PM). Surprisingly, Akira's heart begins to pound away with slightly disconcerting vibes. She silently, though starkly honest, tells herself, "Just now, **I** (lit. *Watashi* {feminine}) want to be spoiled by Okabe-chan *so badly*, as only a girl can spoil another girl !!!! I want her to hug me tightly, like she just did a little while ago ! But **I** (lit. *Ore* {masculine}) used to be a boy ! These intimate feelings....who do they belong to ? The boy part or the girl part ?" Okabe-chan asks Akira to stand in front of the full-length mirror. Akira does so, staring at herself in the mirror, trying to identify and sort out her 'boy' feelings from her girl feelings.

The digital clock now reads 23:49 (11:49 PM) on Fri. 12-26. Akira is in the bed, whereas Okabe-chan is in the futon on the floor next to the bed. Still, Akira is wide awake. So is Okabe-chan. Akira calls out to her, "Onee-chan" (lit. Big Sister) ! Akira then begins to pour her heart out---

"If **I** (lit. *Watashi* {feminine}) want to wear girl's clothes, and want to look cute, adorable, even sensual, but ..... some of me thinks that I'm still part boy ...... If I tell my Mom that I want to look cute and attractive ..... I'm afraid that the boy part will be squeezed out, and will silently go away and disappear, leaving part of myself broken off and incomplete. That is so scary !"

Akira immediately tells herself that maybe she has become too intimate with Okabe-chan, and that she should be sorry for saying that. However, being a true Onee-chan, Okabe-chan comforts Akira by saying that her good traits and attributes, whether they be boy's or girl's, are not going to disappear. Only the bad ones can, and should, be made to go away. She goes on to say that even she, Okabe, has a few masculine traits. Like during the winter months, she doesn't feel much like shaving, as a female should. Akira says that she can't see any masculinity in Okabe-chan at all ! Yet, Akira says that she can understand and feel the same way. " That's **Me** (lit. *Watashi* {feminine}), too, with regard to still having some masculine feelings !" The digital clock reads 23:52 (11:52 PM).

At 00:09 (12:09 AM) 12-27 on the clock, Akira asks, "If **I** (lit. *Watashi* {feminine}) keep going like this, do **I** (lit. *Watashi* {feminine}) have to like boys, too ...... ???" Okabe-chan, apparently still awake, answers that Akira is free to like whoever she wants to.

At 00:13 (12:13 AM), Akira asks, "Onee-chan, what kind of person do you like ?" Onee-chan answers, probably someone who earns more money than she does !

At 01:38 (1:38 AM), Akira asks about feeling uncertain and squeemish about sexual matters ? Onee-chan answers that is something that earlier in her life she used to be that way, too. Now she doesn't remember when or how she decided that fixation about sex is way overblown, therefore, she just gave up on any excessive concern about it. But boobs are something that even girls like to look at and touch. **"EH ? Really? Fer Real?",** exclaims Akira !

At 2:58 (2:58 AM), Akira asks if Onee-chan ever had a Love Confession offered to her? Onee-chan answers that she received one in High School. The whole experience with the boy was quite amusing~!

At 3:34 (3:34 AM), Akira asks, "Can a girl make a Love Confession to another girl?"(\*) ........ but by then, Onee-chan was fast asleep........!

The next morning, it was a wonder that Okabe-chan was able to arise at her usual wakeup time, let alone dress, fix breakfast, and not show a hint of grogginess or sleepiness. Okabe-chan also prepared a fine lunch, too ! At early afternoon, Okabe-chan was saying her 'goodbys' to Akira as Akira was walking out the front door. Okabe invited Akira to come back for a visit any time that she likes. Walking on the way home, Akira ponders to herself, "I will properly express to Mom how **I** (lit. *Watashi* {feminine}) feel once I get home. If that doesn't work, then **I** (lit. *Ore* {masculine}) will......."! Akira's thought process then trails off into nothingness.....!

"I'm home!" Mom looks at Akira but says nothing. Akira turns to show off the new hairstyle that she had asked Okabe-chan to give her---long, provocative bangs on the sides, and a sexy ponytail in back ! Akira says that she has been trying to grow her hair out for quite some time now, as befits a girl. Is it weird ? Mom, in a completely unexpected comment, says that she thinks that the ponytail looks good on Akira ! What about lunch ? Akira says that she has already eaten.

The rest of the day, Akira would silently think to herself about all that had gone on, and all that was talked about while she was with Okabe-chan. After the unanswered question about loving another girl, and being way past midnight, she still could not get to sleep. So, she quietly climed out of bed, and slipped into the futon with Okabe-chan. She fell asleep immediately. The two slep together, although the next morning, Okabe-chan did not mention anything about it. Also, Akira noticed how her hair smelled so pleasant and comforting. She sent a text to Okabe-chan, asking what kind of shampoo was it that she used on her ? Okabe-chan sent back a link to where one can buy it. It cost 14,000 yen for a bottle ! (~ $ 94.89 USD)

## Chapter Lookback, Commentary, and Opinion

**(\*) Can a girl make a Love Confession to another girl that she is in love with ?**

Actually, Akira has already done a Love Confession to Rumi, proposing a girl-with-girl intimate relationship. See Chapter 26.

The mangaka's thoughts and comments about this section of the story---

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