recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Club Chicago-Go

## Production

**Episode:** 56

**Date:** April 27, 1988

**Time:** 50:37

**Musical Director:** Ronnie Aldrich

**Vocals:** The Ladybirds

**Choreography:** Libby Roberts

**Producer:** Dennis Kirkland

**Director:** Dennis Kirkland

**Writer:** Benny Hill

## Episode

* Quickies - 5
	+ Sammy and Milton
* Monologue: Bronco Benny
* Quickies - 9
* Joggers
* Pigeon English
* The Butcher Shop
* Club Chicago-Go
* Quickies - 4
* Tag: Down with President Fartas

## Highlights

* Ballad of Bronco Benny
* Joggers
* Piegeon English
* The Butcher Shop
* Club Chica-Go-Go
* President Fartas

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Henry McGee
* Bob Todd
* Anna Dawson
* Derek Deadman
* Jon Jon Keefe
* Johnny Hutch
* Sue Upton
* Lorraine Doyle
* Christine Pilgrim
* Gary O'Bee
* Duncan Pettigrew
* Adam Johnstone - Hill's Little Angel (uncredited)
* Joanna Kirkland - Hill's Little Angel (uncredited)
* Jade Westbrook - Hill's Little Angel (uncredited)
* Louise Whatling - Hill's Little Angel (uncredited)
* Richard Whatling - Hill's Little Angel (uncredited)
* Helen Carpenter - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Lindsey Cole - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Liz Jobling - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Susie Waring - Hill's Angel (unconfirmed)
* Miki Harvey - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Debbie Scamp - Hill's Angel (unconfirmed)
* Jenny Drummond - Hill's Angel (unconfirmed)
* Mike Mulloy - (uncredited)
* Brendan Keaney - (uncredited)

## Quotes

* **Old Patient**  - "Well, doctor, You think I can start using the stairs again?"
**Doctor**  - "Yes, I think so."
**Old Patient**  - "Good, because its taking the wind out of me shimming up and down the drainpipe."

* **The Butcher**  - "Are you on a calorie control diet?"
**Old Man**  - "No, a salary control diet."

* **The Butcher**  - "Are you also on a diet?"
**Old Lady**  - "No, I'm on a pension."

* **Wall Graffiti** - "What's the difference between the President and a Coconut? - You can get a drink from the coconut."

* **Wall Graffiti** - "What do you call the president's adviser with half a brain? - Gifted."

* **Wall Graffiti** - "What's the difference between a pig laying dead in the street and the president laying dead in the street? - There are skid-marks in front of the pig."

## Trivia

* This episode appears on the "Golden Yucks" VHS.
* Benny and Derek try robbing a bank in a Quickie, and Anna Dawson sends them off with a sign, "This Is A Fish Shop." This is a recreation of a gag from Benny Kelly in Benny Hill: Down Under.
* The closing sketch "President Fartas" was filmed at Thorpe Park in Surrey, England.
* This episode features motorcycle stunt work by the Royal Artillery Motorcycle Display Team.

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** The Halitosis Kid
* **Next Episode:** The Crook Report
Coalpits (sketch)

## Bio

**Coalpits** is a British television series about the multiple failed attempts of German prisoners trying to escape a British castle used as a prisoner of war camp. Located somewhere in England, the castle is run by a British colonel (Nicholas Parsons) who holds their Senior officer, Captain Stuck (Benny Hill) responsible for all attempted escapes.

While delivering more prisoners, Captain Stuck ilicits another oath from the prisoners that they will not escape; their nodding and shaking of their heads not matching their responses. Stuck has to reprimand one of his men (Bob Todd) from insulting the colonel.

After the British colonel departs, Stuck shows the men how he is having a hole dug through the wall to steal the key to the front gate, but one man (Jerold Wells) challenges him over his tole in leading the escape. Stuck tells a brief story on his he escaped from a Russian prison near the Kremlin. He adds by adding he was in a commando squad, but another prisoner (Jackie Wright) reveales he was actually a cook at Cologne. Teaching the men English, he uses pastries to map their escape, catching one of the prisoners (Jim Tyson) eating the cake representing the gate. Instructing them the way to catch the buss, he instructs then to act casually in the most uncasual way possible.

At that point, his man breaks through the wall and lets him know. The prisoners gather round excitedly as Captain Stuck reaches through the hole, finds the handle and turns it, only to hear the water closet flushing on an unseen toilet. He pulls his hand out holding a roll of toilet paper. The British colonel's arm then reaches from the other side angrily and grabs Stuck by the front of his shirt.

## Trivia

* This sketch was a spoof of the British television series "Colditz" which aired between 1972 and 1974. Co-produced by the BBC and Universal Studios, it was possibly inspired by the success of the 1966-1972 American TV series "Hogan's Heroes." It starred later notable actors Robert Wagner, Michael Gough and David McCallum.
	+ Colditz Castle was the most notorious of the German POW Camps; it was used to hold prisoners known for repeated escape attempts from the regular camps.
* The prisoners are played by Benny, Bob Todd, Jerold Wells, Bella Emburg, Jim Tyson and Jackie Wight.
* The photos on the walls of the cell are Winston Churchill and possibly Captain Eric Wheeler Bush, DSO, DSC of the Royal Navy.
* Accidentally breaking into a bathroom is repeated in Nor Iron Bars A Cage in 1977.
* On the A&E Benny Hill Complete Serires box set, this sketch ends with an interstitial glimpse of the musical segment with Diana Darvey later in the episode. Only seen by advancing the DVD frame by frame, it maybe what's left of an advanced viewing of the segment later in the show when it was originally broadcast on British TV.

## Gallery

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Alton Harvey

**Alton Harvey** is an Australian actor, best known for "The Story of Johnny O'Keefe," "The Everlasting Secret Family" and "Homicide."

Not much is known about his life or career. Born in Australia on December 3, 1925, his first known role was the TV series "Homicide" for Australian TV. This was followed by roles in the TV shows "Tandarra," "Skyways," "Home Special Squad" and various roles on "Prisoner: Cell Block H." In 1977, he played the pastor in Benny Kelly on Benny Hill: Down Under. He also had parts in the movies, "Every Move She Makes" and "The Everlasting Secret Family," followed by TV parts in "The Fast Lane," "The Story of Johnny O'Keefe," "Sons and Daughters," "The Girl from Tomorrow," "G.P." "Home and Away" and "Cybergirl." His last role was in the TV Mini-Series, "Through My Eyes" in 2014.

He passed away on March 28, 2017.
Camilla Blair

**Camilla Blair** is an English actress and dancer who starred as one of the Hill's Angels on "The Benny Hill Show." She appears in the opening of the "Keep Young and Beautiful" number on the February 11, 1981 episode. She also appears in a quickie on the March 25, 1981 episode. After leaving the show, she appeared as a dealer on "Play Your Cards Right." Her credits also includes "The Val Doonican Music Show." She now works behind the scenes in clothes and costuming.

## Episode(s)

* Big Poppa
* A Tribute to the Lower Tidmarsh Volunteer Fire Brigade
Emma Bryant

**Emma Bryant** is an English actress and dancer who starred as one of the Hill's Angels on "The Benny Hill Show," appearing in the opening "Maria, Maria" number on April 25, 1979. Despite this first appearance, she worked as a dancer in "Lipstick," the dance troop created by Libby Roberts on the "3-2-1" TV series. When Roberts started working as a choregrapher on "The Benny Hill Show," she might have brought Bryant back to the show. Emma also appeared in the "Benito's Night Club" routine on January 2, 1985 with Louise English and the "Costa Coco" opening number on May 27, 1985. She also starred as an actress in sketches, such as the "O'Jack" and "Yield to the Dawn: Lean on My Crutch" sketches. After "The Benny Hill Show," Emma starred in the movie, "Whoops Apocalypse" with fellow Angels, Lorraine Doyle and Tracy Smith, and
co-star Ken Sedd. Today, she is married to Mark Wynter, and has two children.

She might be the sister of dancer Zoe Bryant, but this is unconfirmed.

## Episode(s)

* The Police Raid in Waterloo Station
* The B-Team
* Forever Love
* Carmen (uncredited)
* R. Dibble: Handyman (uncredited)
* The Herd (uncredited)
* Cagney and Lacey (uncredited)

## Gallery

* Emma with Helen Horton and Roger FinchGo to The Fudpuckers
* Emma with Benny and HenryGo to The Herd (sketch)
* Emma and BennyGo to The Herd (sketch)
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Claire Fairgood

**Claire Fairgood** is an English actress and dancer who starred on "The Benny Hill Show" in the late 1980s. Not much has been found on her life or career, but she was one of the 1986 Hill's Angels, appearing as one of the Angels in the "Love Ship" opener, as the girl in the polka dot dress in the "Testament TV" sketch and as a dancer accompanying Alison Thomas in the "Last Tango" number in "Chez When" from the March 12, 1986 episode. Her current whereabouts are unknown, but it is likely she is no longer working in entertainment.

## Gallery

* with Alison Thomas
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Bijou Burlesque

## Bio

**Bijou Burlesque** is the opening act from April 16, 1986. Done in the style of the old burlesque acts of the 20s, 30s and 40s. it features two routines (the song Adam and Eve and a comedy beauty contest) separate from each other, starting with a series of advertisements and going to six female singers (two blondes, two redheads and two brunettes) who introduce the comedian (Benny Hill), who comes out singing about women before going into a bawdy tune about wives and being married and a chorus about Adam and Eve. He goes on to introduce the Beauties of the World, whose singing is so bad he cringes even though he's wearing ear plugs.

Of the girls, he introduces Bubbles (Sue Upton), the American girl, known as "Dimples" to her boyfriend, the French Girl (Anna Dawson) with a strong New York Accent (with Benny badly translating her French), the English Girl (Lorraine Doyle), who he calls stupid, and the Latin American girl (Emma Bryant?), who only speaks Spanish. He then goes on to finish his song about women.

## Trivia

* According to the IMDB, the Angels in this short are Samantha Spencer-Lane, Alison Thomas, Tracy Smith, Katie Randall, Vanessa Biddulph and Emma Bryant, but it is difficult to identify them in the wings without close-ups. The tall girl might be Faye Mertens from the previous episode, but it is hard to confirm it. (Better views of the six girls occur in the Funny Old World bit.) In the "Beauties of the World," they're joined by Sue Upton, Lorraine Doyle, Anna Dawson and (possibly} Emma Bryant as the Latin American Girl.
* The countries/regions featured are Africa (?), Holland, Polynesia (?), Latin America, France, England, the United States, Australia (?), Middle East and China.
* The host mentions the American Girl was also Miss Unwed Mothers, Miss Foam Rubber and Miss Ballcock.
* Miss Latin America has a brother named Senor Willie.

## Gallery

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Bianca Malone

## Bio

**Bianca Malone** was the opening act of the January 26, 1977 by Benny Hill and the cast. It was set with a Caribbean-style beat with support from Diana Darvey, Jenny Lee-Wright, Edgar Buchanan and the members of Reflections. During the routine, the men and women separate on backstage and end up with each other's voices.

The American version of this song changes the British references with American references; for example, "John Conteh" gets replaced with "Mike Tyson."

## Lyrics

Oh Bianca, lovely Bianca

Now, Bianca Malone weighs thirty-eight stones,

She's got eyes like rissoles in the snow.

She comes from St. Kitts, got a big pair of mitts,

She could lay John Conteh with one blow.

When she lays in the sand, the tide goes out and...

Refuses to come back until she's gone.

One day she bent down to pick up half a crown,

And we had an eclipse of the sun.

Oh Bianca, lovely Bianca

We went for a stroll, she said, "Look at, that's a bull,

"And that's a cow, and that's a sow, and that's a boar.

"And just look at that, Joe!" I said, "Bianca I know,"

She said, "Well what do you want to tread in it for?"

By the barn door, we knelt down in the straw

And she said, as she gave my hand a squeeze,

"Would you like a roll in the hay?" and I said, "Okay,"

She said, "Do you want fish paste or cheese?"

Oh, lovely Bianca, big fat Bianca,
Like a peach on an apricot tree,

I would charter a tanker and sail to Sri Lanka,

To thank her for her company.

Now, this big fat girl has got a map of the world...

Tattooed all over her skin.

One day she showed me Japan, the Gulf of Siam,

I even had to peek at Peking.

On her left knee was West Germany,

Russia was on her right thigh,

But when I looked and saw my wife at the door

I let the rest of the world go by.

(Oh Bianca, lovely Bianca)

So, I divorced my wife, and I began a new life,

With Bianca on the honeymoon cruise,

Our wedding night, it was great, I even let her stay up late

To listen to the six o'clock news.

Now, I am never blue with my queen of tattoo,

A happier man could not be found,

I've got heat in the winter, I've got shade in the summer,

And moving pictures all the year round.

Oh, lovely Bianca, big fat Bianca,

Like a peach on an apricot tree,

I would charter a tanker and sail to Sri Lanka,

To thank her for marrying me.

(To thank her for marrying me)

To thank her for marrying me.
Crime Does Not Pay

## Bio=

**Crime Does Not Pay** is a crime prevention video hosted by Patricia Hayes discussing just how effective the police department is in practicing the law and stopping crime. It begins with a police officer (Nicholas Parsons) checking on the welfare of a local inebriate (George Roderick) as a radical pedestrian (Benny Hill) shouts offensives slurs. Unfortunately, the drunk thinks he's the one being insulted and threatens the pedestrian who then starts yelling for the police officer to come back.

In her host segment, Hayes asks if the public has the police force it wants or the police force deserves. In the public commentary, Tex Cymbal's brother calls the police force useless before complaining about his stolen bicycle pump, a housewife (Benny Hill) complains about the police harassing her son who has known psychopathic tendencies (he and his father both have cells in prison) and a hippie (Benny Hill) claims the police only protects the police. He also says possessions aren't important up until he realizes his motorbike was stolen.

Nicholas Parsons interviews Detective Inspector Fred Scuttle to defend the accusations about the Police Force. He defends the British Law Court and debunks the accusations of police brutality. He also tells the story of Officer Arnold Potts who had his nose broken while stopping an ex-con from beating his wife, but Parsons is more interested in a graph showing a spike in arrests. Scuttle reveals it was caused by Police Officer Goosend, who had backed up into Scuttle causing the high spike. He also tells the story of two melons stolen by a young lady from a vendor and how the officer struggled to do his investigation.
Scuttle also shows Parsons photos of twelve suspects wanted by Scotland Yard, adding that eleven of them are now in custody. However, Parsons shows they're all photos of one man.

## Trivia

* It's kind of curious that Fred Scuttle is a policeman in this sketch and again in the Villain of the Year sketch on February 23, 1977 while in many of his appearances he's an entrepreneur with numerous entertainment-related projects.
* "Stolen bicycle pump" was also mentioned in Tex Cymbal on March 26, 1975.
* Benny's hippie girlfriend is played by Jenny Lee Wright.
* George Roderick also starred with Benny in Eddie In August.
* There is a poster of Raquel Welch from "One Million Years B.C." on the wall of the police station.

## Gallery

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Jim Clifford

**Jim Clifford** is an Australian actor and singer, probably best known for his appearances in "Benny Hill: Down Under," "Joey" and "Lost in the Wild." Not much is known about his career, but it is known he has worked on both stage and screen and alongside Val Doonican, Acker Bilk, Max Bygraves, Lucy Grills and Buster Noble, the father of Benny Hill alum, Trisha Noble.

His work includes the Australian TV shows "The Link Men," "Dynasty" and "Spyforce" before playing one of Benny Kelly's outlaws among other roles in Benny Hill: Down Under. His other TV work includes "A Country Practice" and "Sons and Daughters." His film work includes "Lost in the Wild" and "Pirates Island."
Fait, Ope and Carity

## Bio

**Fait, Ope and Carity** is a comedy monologue performed by Benny Hill on March 14, 1979. The premise of the bit is that pupils at the Thames Drama School (and apparently the graduating entertainers) are not permitted to paraphrase and must perform scripts exactly as they have been written. When presented with a poem by Walter Winchell written twenty years earlier on a typewriter missing the letter "H," he is required to recite the poem exactly as it has been written. Hence, "Faith, Hope and Charity" must become "Fait, Ope and Carity."

## Lyrics

Next door to a sop tat sells fis and cips,

In Arrow on te Illl,

Lived Pillip, a pysioterapist,

Is cums all called im Pil,

E was very muc in love wit a girl called June

E poned er wenever e could.

E sent er a cocolate box, cock a block wit cocolates

But it didn't do any good.

E picked er favourite flowers,

Ten gave 'em to er in a bunc,

E tried to sin up er drainpipe,

So se invited im in for lunc.

Se offered im cicken sandwices,

And a carcoaled grilled lambcop,

E just kept smoking and cewing is cewing gum,

Se tougt e'd never stop.

Se said, "I can't enjoy our little cat,

Wit your as all over te floor,

Wy don't you put your as in te astray,

Tat's wat te damned ting's for."

E said, "Marry me or live wit me,

I really don't care wic."

Se said, "I'll give you my boot, you uncout yout,

Get out! Don't come back till you're ric."

Ten along came Poebe, wearing a cincilla fur coat,

Tat almost reaced to te ground.

Te couple met in a laundorette,

Wile e was watcing is wasing go round.

Se said, "I'm no Sopia Loren,

I know tat my sape's not so ot,

I may be old in te toot, my teet may be false,

But I could give you suc a lot.

"You dine on roast peasant, you drink cilled campaign,

As you lay on some sundrenced beac,

I may be sixty-tree, I've te skin of a peac,"

E said, "Yea, sixty-tree, you're on peak!"

Se said, "Sow me a little carity, you sall ave my last farting,

Of tat I give you my word,

Tey were married next day, up Arrogate way,

Tursday, Marc te tird.

Wen I banged on te door of is fine ome in Cicister,

I got suc a nasty sock,

I eard im mutter, "O sit,"

To is dog wo was running amock.

E said e'd a appy life, full of good ceer,

And a lady tat e could adore,

E said, "A May-December marriage worked fine for im,

But ten June ad te ouse next door."
Clare Smalley

**Clare Smalley** is an English actress, dancer and producer, known mostly for "The Benny Hill Show."

Not much is known about Clare's life and career. Sometimes credited as "Claire Smalley," she appeared on the show from 1980 to 1981 as one of the show's regular dancers, Hill's Angels, appearing in the numbers "New York, New York" in Name That Tune and the "Keep Young and Beautiful" routine in A Tribute to the Lower Tidmarsh Volunteer Fire Brigade among other numbers. She also starred as a recurring performer in sketches, such as country girl in Big Poppa and an angry neighbor lady in the Lower Tidmarsh Volunteer Fire Brigade sketch, but she is possibly most recognized for playing the young ingenue that transforms into a She-Hulk, played by Alison Bell in the same episode. (A role confused with Louise English and even Jane Leeves by fans not familiar with the identities of the Hill's Angels.)

After leaving the series, she became part of the "Auto Angels" dance troop and made an appearance on "Not the Nine O'Clock News." She was also one of several former Hill's Angels playing dancers in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" in 1984. She also worked as a producer on the video short, "The War on Drugs: Under the Pressure." Her current whereabouts are unknown.

## Episode(s)

* Big Poppa
as a country girl and a Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* A Tribute to the Lower Tidmarsh Volunteer Fire Brigade
as a bus stop ingenue and a Hill's Angel
* WonderGran Meets Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde
as a Hill's Angel (as Claire Smalley)
* Name That Tune
as a Hill's Angel
* Butch Cafferty and the Fundance Kid
as a Hill's Angel
* Women's Lib Television
as a Hill's Angel

## Gallery

* with Bob Todd and Benny Hill
* with Jack Wright and Benny Hill
* with Jack Wright
* with Louise English and Samantha Spencer-Lane
* with Benny Hill and Louise English
* with Penny Kendall and Beverly Kaye
* Clare and Benny
* Ken Sedd, Clare Smalley, Bob Todd, Benny HillGo to Big Poppa (sketch)
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Anne Marie

## Bio

**Anna Marie** was a song Benny Hill performed on November 19, 1969 while accompanied by The Ladybirds. He performed the song again as Senor Benny on April 5, 1989 with the Hill's Angels on back-up.

## Lyrics

Anna Marie, the girl I adore,

Anna Marie the one I live for.

I'd travel the world, o'er land and sea,

I'd never find one like you, Anna Marie.

We went to the open air theatre,

One summers night in the park.

Soon I had to excuse myself,

And I wandered off in the dark.

I got back to my seat next to her,

I'd not been gone more than a minute.

I said, "How was the show?"

She said, "You ought to know,

"You silly great fool, you were in it.

Oh, but Anna Marie, the girl I adore,

Anna Marie the one I live for.

I'd travel the world, o'er land and sea,

I'd never find one like you, Anna Marie.

She invited me round for my birthday,

To show me just how she could cook.

She made some flaky pastry,

It tasted like a wet book.

But she had to admit that the cake that I bought,

Really wasn't too bad.

She said she'd light the twenty-eight candles,

That were on the slice that she had.

Oh, but Anna Marie, the girl I adore,

Anna Marie the one I live for.

I'd travel the world, o'er land and sea,

I'd never find one like you, Anna Marie.

She said, "Now we're alone lets get cozy,

"I'll put something more comfortable on."

And I sat there biting my fingernails,

For the full half an hour she was gone.

The door burst open she stood there,

With all of me mates from the docks,

And they all sang "Happy Birthday to You,"

And all I had on were my socks.

Oh, but Anna Marie, the girl I adore,

Anna Marie the one I live for.

I'd travel the world, o'er land and sea,

I'd never find one like you, Anna Marie...

## Episode(s)

* The European Song Contest
* Holding Out For A Hero
Customs and Immigration

## Bio

**Customs and Immigration** is the receiving department for arriving passengers at an unidentified English airport (likely Heathrow Airport). Its responsibility is screening the passengers and tourists coming in for contraband and illegal objects. Chow Mein passes by the department and gets stopped by the superintendent (Henry McGee). Checking his luggage, the superintendant asks where he is coming from and what his destination is, but along the way, Mein's accent frustrates the agent as well as by Mein's misunderstanding of certain English words of which he's unfamiar.

Passed on to the clerk, Mamood Ramsun, Mein's accent and Ramsoon's Hindu accent further excerbrate the situation as Mein befuddles through the name of Ipswich town and Ramsoon repeating him in trying to follow the conversation. Mein also goes into a fairly elaborate description of his job as a "cow bleeder" (cow breeder). Ramsun gets even more frustrated with Mein than his supervisor as the situation worsens. As things nearly come to blows, Mein takes a hundred-year-old egg out he carries around, drops it in Ramsun's shirt pocket and then crushing it on his chest.

At this point, the superintendent comes out having been drinking to alleviate his stress. As more Chinese tourists pass through, both men start throwing things at them to leave the airport.

## Trivia

* This sketch ranks as possibly one of the most remembered sketches in the series.
* This sketch breaks from the routine of Henry McGee interviewing Chow Mein in a talk format. In 1989, another sketch more similar to the style of the American "Carol Burnett Show" of the 70s depicts Chow Mein as a caterer.
* Bettine Le Beau and Jenny Lee Wright play the passengers entering before Chow Mein.
* The actors playing the disembarking Chinese tourists are unidentified.

## Gallery

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Hidden Signals

## Production

**Episode:** 9

**Date:** February 24, 1972

**Producer:** Peter Whitmore

**Director:**

**Writer:** Chris Boucher

## Episode

Dave plays a clueless police officer, Michael is a repairman and then both of them are cowboys in opening sketches. In the opening, Dave reminds the audience that smoking and drinking is not allowed although he freely does so on stage. He then explains his hidden signals and covert gestures to the producer off-stage. Following sketches involve men in a duel of honor, Rodriguez asks for proof of God, two assassins catch each other in each others cross hairs and another sketch has another duel of honor. Dave then talks about inventions and implants before a series of sketches about inventions.
Dave recalls the importance of a good book to introduce sketches around literary characters such as Long John Silver, Sherlock Holmes, Tarzan, Rapunzel and the Count of Monte Cristo. Another story involves an entertainer behind bars while following sketches involves a judge and his perpetrator, a men's club, a distracted guards and Michael and Ronnie as bungling thieves.
Dave starts a chat about women followed by a man in love with his suddenly female doctor and King Richard back from the Holy Land. A few comments about God are followed by sketches at the expense of the Catholics and the cremation of an actor. Closing the show, Dave ends with the stories of the Sand Man and Scissor Men and a closing sketch with a woman terrified by her husband during Hand and Seek.

## Highlights

* Robin Hood and his arrow around corners
* Dave gets a backstage voice he thinks is God
* The wall comes down on Monte Cristo
* King Richard leaves his key in Jerusalem
* Dave's Hide and Seek sketch

## Cast

* Dave Allen
* Michael Sharvell-Martin
* Jacqueline Clarke
* Peter Hawkins
* Simon Barnes

## Quotes

* **Dave Allen** - "Booze - what it gives to you one week it takes away the next!"

## Trivia

* In another episode, Dave named the off-beat priest he frequently plays as Father William O'Flaherty. His other recurring characters include Rodriguez the Great Escape Artist, James the Trusty Butler, Robin Hood, King Arthur, Sherlock Holmes, and Tarzan with Jacqueline Clarke as Jane and Michael Sharvell Martin as Little John or Dr. Watson to his Robin and Holmes.
* Robin Hood is a semi-historical figure (1160-1247) whose exploits were the basis of several tales beginning with "A Lytell Geste of Robyn Hode" in 1510 and reaching to modern literature and motion pictures. It's believed the original story was based on the tale of Robert Fitztooth, 12th Century Earl of Huntingdon who had escaped his debts by retiring into a solitary existence in the woods. Other scholars believe there was not just one Robin Hood, but several whose stories merged to one.
* One of Dave's favorite recurring characters is Tarzan from the Edgar Rice Burroughs novel, "Tarzan the Ape-Man."

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** Superstitions
* **Next Episode:** The Secret of Life
Cross-Country Race

## Bio

The **Cross-Country Race** is a public sports marathon in an identified city in England, possibly Teddington, Little Dimpton or Lower Tidmarsh. In addition to the race, local athletes show off their skills in high jumps and other possible feats.

In attendance at the race, Fred Scuttle is present to start the race, but as he tears part of the starting flag off, a runner (Sue Upton) getting into position hears the tearing and thinks her shorts have burst open, backing herself off the field. When Fred fires the starting pistol, he takes out a plane. Down the road, one of the racers, Ted Tingley gets distracted by a female bicyclist (Stephanie Lawrence?} and chases after her off the raceway. A few minutes later, two police officers (Cyril Cross and unidentified) find them making out on a bench and chase them off to make out on the bench themselves.

Back at the field, another athlete (Ken Sedd) jumps and clears the high bars. When Ginger Thompkins attempts the same jump, a confused lorry driver drives on to the field, blocks him and he crashes straight into it.

At the end of the games, three winners are chosen (Johnny Vyvyan, Lee Gibson? and Nola Haynes?). As the old timer gets the first place trophy, the weight of it causes him to crash through the bottom of the podium. Meanwhile, Thompkins is still trying to cover the high bar, but as he clears it, his shorts catch on it, and he rips clear through them, forcing him to pull down his shirt to cover himself as he runs off field.

## Trivia

* Like several sketches in the series, the sketch is played without lines to the tune of Yakety Sax.
* This sketch has a rare instance of having three of Benny's characters from past sketches in one episode, namely Fred Scuttle, Ginger Thompkins and Ted Tingley.
* Henry McGee plays the judge. Sue Upton is the presenter with the trophy.
* This sketch was filmed at an unidentified exterior location outside the studio, possibly the same location as Sports Day on December 17, 1975.
* This sketch seems to have a huge cast of unknowns and uncredited extras. It was possibly leftover material from an earlier episode, possibly the episode from December 26, 1978.

## Gallery

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Fatricia and Feter

### Bio

**Fatricia and Feter: The Pinal Foem of Faul Pinch** is a manuscript created by poet Paul Finch and narrated by Benny Hill. Benny starts out by explaining that Finch was near-sighted, and that the repairman who had fixed his typewriter was equally nearsighted, accidentally switching the "p" and "f" keys in it. This error creates a speech pattern much like Fan and Fufan by Solomon St. Paul in Benny's All-Star Finale and Fad-Eyed Fal in Woodstick).

## Lyrics

Fatricia waf juft pipteen...

When she fell in love with Fete.

He was pishing in the river with galoshes on his peet.

He sfeaks pirst. “Is the water deef here?”

“Pour inches." she reflied.

He fut his poot in pront op him,

And sank uf to his aff.

As he struggled to the surface covered prom hand to poot in mulch,

She said, “That's punny. It only goes halpway up my duck.”

She noticed he was peeling paint...

So, she grabbed him by the arms.

He said, “Are you rich?”

She said, “No, I peed myself with pood grown on my parm.”

Years went by, and Fete left town.

And so did Fretty Fad.

She joined the Metrofolitan Folice Porce.

Her pather was froud op that.

One day, she was facing uf and down…

And she heard a paint cry in the street.

Someone was flaying a piddle.

In the gutter, there stood Fete.

She could tell by the look on his pace…

He was peeling fretty broken.

He said, “I lept my wipe, you know.”

She said, “I heard you had gone.”

“Flease, flease, go away.” He begged.

She answered in smiles.

He said, “I've been in frison since I saw your smile.”

He said. “At least I had pood there.

“And over my head a roop.

“Ip I had stayed in there with all those men...

“I would have become a raging pool.”

She held his hand,

As they were wed at the Chafel of St Faul.

They honeymooned in Niagara,

And she had him by the pall.

They now have pour children,

And lipe por them is great.

You just can't foint out that pickle hand of pate.
Lorna Nathan

**Lorna Nathan** is an English actress and dancer known for the films, "The Great Waltz" and "The Dancing Princesses." She was born in 1944 in Guildford, Surrey, England, which was also the birthplace of Julie Dawn-Cole of "Willie Wonka" fame.

Not much is known about Lorna's life and career. Her first film appearance was in "The Great Waltz" in 1972, followed by the TV shows "Scott On...," "Sez Les," "Happy Ever After" and two episodes of "The Benny Hill Show." She played a tap dancer in the "Pearl & Plain Shopping Center" sketch and a Mexican seniorita in the Mexican Cabaret segment with Eddie Buchanan on December 17, 1975. She also appeared in the "Dance Floor" sketch with Benny Hill and the Olympics tag before returning on February 18, 1976 playing a waitress, a ladies underwear clerk and a back-up singer in the opening number.

She was married in 1982 but later divorced.

## Episode(s)

* The World of Sport (uncredited)
* Jack and Jill

## Gallery

* Lorna as a saleslady
* Benny, Henry and Lorna
1/8
Design

**Design** was a British folk music group of the early 1970s, consisting of singers Barry Alexander, Gabrielle Field, Kathy Manuell, Jeff Matthews, John Mulcahy-Morgan and Geoff Ramseyer. Described as folk rock with "intricate and appealing harmonies and an interesting psychedelic twist" and "sunshine harmony pop with a light hippy vibe," a form of music now known as Sunshine Pop, they released 13 singles and 5 albums in the UK and appeared on more than 50 television shows before they split up in 1976.

Formed by BBC singer and songwriter Tony Smith in December 1968, the group was formed as a six-piece vocal group, loosely based on Judy Durham and the Seekers. They later recieved a recording contract with Adrian Kerridge at Lansdowne Studios in 1969, recording their first album, Design, that same year. Followed by a two-album deal with Epic Records in the United States, the group changed its line-up in November 1970 when Tony Smith left the group and was replaced by guitarist Jeff Matthews. After this line-up, they appeared on a string of TV shows in England including "The Morecambe and Wise Show," "The Two Ronnies," The Benny Hill Show" "Val Doonican," "The Rolf Harris Show," "The Cilla Black Show," "The Tommy Cooper Show" and many others. They recorded the albums "Tomorrow Is So Far Away," "Day Of The Fox" and "In Flight" before Gabrielle Field and Geoff Ramseyer left the group in October 1974. The remaining members of the group finished their last album, "By Design," in October 1976 before disbanding.

## Gallery

* Kathy Manuel
* Gabrielle Field
* John Mulcahey-Morgan
* Barry Alexander
* Geoffrey Ramsmeyer
* Jeff Matthews
1/9
Marine Jolivet

**Marine Jolivet** is a French actress and singer, possibly best known for the films "Navarro," "Highlander" and "The Three Brothers."

Not much is known about her career. Often credited as Jacqueline Jolivet, her first credit was the film "Out Of Whack" in 1979, followed by appearances in the TV shows "Au théâtre ce soir" (At The Theater Tonight), "Julien Fontanes, magistrat" Julian Fontanes, Magistrate" and "La vie des autres" (The Lives Of Others) and a recurring role in the TV mini-series "Dickie-roi." In 1983, she was mentioned as a "new-comer" to "The Benny Hill Show," possibly playing one of the female soldiers in the Super-Teech sketch.

Well-known in French film and television, she has also done considerable voice-over work dubbing in French for American movies in France, providing voices for actresses Dana Delaney, Paula Marshall, Tracey Needham, Nicole de Boer, Megan Ward and Christina Hendricks.
Felicity Buirski

**Felicity Buirski** is an English model, actress and singer who started as a Page 3 Girl in "The Sun" and later developed a music career.

Born in Orpington, England, she was the daughter of a virtuoso pianist father and a mother, who was a concert hall singer. She initially worked as a reporter at 18 on the Beckenham Record before taking up acting and singing, starring in "The Stud" with Joan Collins and Walter Gotell in 1979, and singing "The Clock" on the December 26, 1978 episode of "The Benny Hill Show." She also started the arts magazine, "Avant Garde," but a chance meeting at the age of 21 with Leonard Cohen inspired her to take up music again, producing her first album at Run River Records, which was well received by the folk media. It also received the award for Best Folk Album in the Which CD Hi-Fi Music Awards for 1989. Buirski played support to Eric Andersen in 1990 in the USA. She still records as a renowned folk singer.
Chloe

"**Chloe**" is an unidentified member of the Hill's Angels who appeared in the "Boon" segment of the "TV Titles" routine on May 1, 1989. She's seems to be the dancer hugging the biker in the close-up as well as the girl in the photo with Benny Hill and Susie Waring. Her real name has yet to be identified, but she was also the red 50s dancer in the "Happy Days" number and likely the brunette Angel in red standing next to Benny Hill at the start of the "TV Titles" montage.

She might also be the girl in the yellow dress in the "Hill's Angels: Photo Call" on March 5, 1989.

## Episode(s)

* Holding Out For A Hero (possibly)
* Pepy's Diary

## Gallery

Chloe, Susie Waring, Jon Jon Keefe and BuffyHelen Carpenter, Nikki, Choe and Nicola BaconSusie Waring Benny and ChloeChloe and unknown extra
Debbie Greenhill

**Debbie Greenhill** is an English actress known only for two credits in 1975. She appeared in the studio scenes of the "Tex Cymbal: Golden Boy" sketch and as a girl in pig-tails in the "Dibbles Health Farm" sequence as well as a pedestrian in the Acacia Street tag on the September 24, 1975 episode of "The Benny Hill Show." She later appeared in the film, "Side by Side" in 1975. No much else is known about her life or career.
Fizz Waters

Not much is known about **Fiona "Fizz" Waters**. She worked as an assistant director and floor manager for several TV shows through the 70s and 80s, appearing once on the April 25, 1984 episode of "The Benny Hill Show" to tell Benny Hill the live version of the show was five minutes under. Her other work includes "Rumpole of the Bailey," "Chocky's Challenge," "The Bill," "Under the Hammer," "Boon," "A.J. Wentworth, B.A.," "Jemima Shore Investigates" and "British Men Behaving Badly" as well as the film "Stig of the Dump." Her current whereabouts are unrevealed, but she is possibly retired.

## Episode(s)

* The Police Raid in Waterloo Station
* Super-Teech
* Holiday
* Scuttle-Vision
* The Hot Shoe Show
* The B-Team
* Forever Love
* Carmen
* R. Dibble: Handyman
* The Herd
* Cagney and Lacey
* The Halitosis Kid
* Club Chicago-Go
* Benny Hill World Tour: New York
Miguel Lopez Cortezo

Not much is known about **Miguel Lopez Cortezo.** He was the guitarist for Benny Hill and The Ladybirds in "The Ballad of Anna Marie" and played the guitar for Benny and Eira Heath singing "Primavera" on November 19,1969. His only other credit is an episode of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" in 1969.
December 16, 1961

## Production

**Episode:** 18

**Date:** December 16, 1961

**Time:** 45 minutes

**Musical Director:** Burt Rhodes

**Producer:** Kenneth Carter

**Director:**

**Writer:** Benny Hill and Dave Freeman

## Episode

* Guest stars:
	+ The Barney Gilbraith Singers
	+ The Lionel Blair Dancers
	+ Percy Thrower
	+ Cyril Ornadel and his Orchestra

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Matt Monro
* Janie Marden
* Dorita Y Pepe
* Peter Vernon
* Jennifer Browne
* Patricia Hayes (credited as Pat Hayes)
* John Junkin
* June Whitfield

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** November 25, 1961
* **Next Episode:** Portrait of a Bridegroom
Gather In The Mushrooms

## Bio

**Gather in the Mushrooms** was a song performed by the Dalton Abbott Railway Choir on March 29, 1973.

## Lyrics

Now, Lucy came from London to work for Farmer Pew.

She said, "I'm very willing. What would you like me to do?"

He said, "Fetch some potatoes, I'll need a bit of stone."

"And will you get King Edwards?" She said.

"Let him get his own."

Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot...

Pop 'em in the oven, and serve them piping hot.

She climbed right up his pear tree in her mini-skirt,

And Farmer Bull stood underneath in case she should get hurt.

She said, "Up here, it's gorgeous. There's a lovely view, my dear,"

He said, "It ain't as lovely as the view I got down here."

Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot...

Pop 'em in the oven, and serve them piping hot.

She picked a nice Sweet William to nibble with her lunch,

And then her blouse got caught up on the overhanging branch.

Suddenly, it tore off as she slithered down the tree,

She said, "I've got a lovely pear," and he said, "You're telling me."

Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot...

Pop 'em in the oven, and serve them piping hot.

She fell and knocked the farmer down, sat there on his face,

She shouted out, "Where are you?" as she looked around the place.

She looked down and said, "Why didn't you say something, Farmer Bull?"

He said, "Because it's rude to speak when your mouth is full."

Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot...

Pop 'em in the oven, an serve them piping hot.

We're going to gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot...

Pop 'em in the oven, an serve them piping hot.
Jeremy Hawk

**Jeremy Hawk** is an English comedy actor whose career spanned the Forties, Fifties and Sixties. He is possibly best known for the movies "Elizabeth," "Dial for Music" and "Lucky Jim" and his affiliation with comedian Benny Hill.

Hawk was born Cedric Lange in Johannesburg, South Africa on May 20, 1918, but he changed it to Jeremy Hawk when he entered the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. His first marriage was to Tuli Hawk and they had a daughter, Berenice Hawk. He subsequently married actress Joan Heal with whom he had a daughter, actress Belinda Lang.

Starting out in music halls and in satirical revues, Hawk first starred in the movies "The Goose Steps Out," "The Peterville Diamond," "The Globe Revue," "The Black Glove" and "The Unholy Four," but he became best known on television as a straight man to comedians Benny Hill, Arthur Askey, Norman Wisdom and Sid Caesar. He also hosted the TV game show "Criss Cross Quiz" and the junior version for children's television from 1957 to 1962. He later presented the improvisation comedy show "Impromptu" and starred in such movies such as "The Trygon Factor," "The Adventures of Little Lord Fauntleroy" and "Stealing Heaven." He also appeared in the TV shows "Impromptu," "Spotlight," "Shirley's World," "Armchair Cinema," "The New Avengers," "The Professionals," "Escape" and "Sorry." Later in his career, he became known for his appearance in the long-running famous Cadbury's chocolate ads in the 1970s. His later movies include "Stealing Heaven," "Perry Mason: The Case of the Desperate Deception," "Agatha Christie: Poirot" and "Elizabeth." He passed away at the age of 83 on January 15, 2002 in Reading, England; he was survived by two children and his third wife, Lisa Hawk.

## Episode(s)

* January 15, 1955
* February 12, 1955
* March 12, 1955
* Saturday Comedy Hour
* Saturday Comedy Hour 2
* March 2, 1957
* March 30, 1957
* April 27, 1957
* June 1, 1957
January 15, 1955

## Production

**Episode:** 1

**Date:** January 15, 1955

**Time:** 45 minutes

**Musical Director:** Eric Robinson

**Producer:** Kenneth Carter

**Director:** Jack Billings

**Writer:** Benny Hill and Dave Freeman

## Episode

* Guest stars included:
	+ Jerry Allen and his Trio
	+ The Edorics
	+ Four in a Crowd
	+ The Jack Billings Dancers

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Beryl Reid
* Jeremy Hawk
* Alma Chord
* Jacqueline Chord
* Christina Lubicz
* Elizabeth Seal

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:**
* **Next Episode:** February 12, 1955
Miki Harvey

**Miki Harvey** is an English actress and dancer, possibly best known as one of the Hill's Angels of "The Benny Hill Show."

Not much is known about her life and career. Her first known credit was as a dancer in the 1987 London stage production of Stephen Sondheim's "Pacific Overtures." On "The Benny Hill Show," she appeared in the opening "Bronco Benny" number and the "Club Chic a Go-Go" segment on April 27, 1988. She was also among the Angels with Sue Upton, Zoe Bryant and Liz Jobling to appear in a TV Times photoshoot with Benny Hill in April 1988.

Her current whereabouts are unknown.
Golden Days

## Bio

**Golden Days** is a ballad melody set to music and performed by Dickey Dido and Miss Pearl (Benny Hill and Eira Heath). The lyrics are sung separately rather than in unison like a conversation set to music. Dido sets off the song with Miss Pearl singing the next lyric, alternating until the chorus, after which Miss Pearl starts and alternating until the chorus when Dido starts off again. Despite the strange comments to Miss Pearl, the song ends with the duo in pleasant camaraderie.

## Lyrics

**Dickey** - We passed each other in the street today and memories came back.

**Miss Pearl** - Like the time you came for lunch that day at my poor old mammy's shack.

**Dickey** - She said, "Now tell me, can you guess what's for lunch today my son?" Well, I knew it was roly-poly puddin' cause she only had one stocking on.

**Both** - But those golden days are over, they're in the long gone by,

Never more will they return no matter how we try.

**Miss Pearl** - I went swimming in my birthday suit in the pond down by the wier. I saw you there, I said, "Go away,"

**Dickey** - "But I pretended not to hear.

**Miss Pearl** - I said, "If you don't go I'll stay in the water till it gets dark."

**Dickey** - I said, "Don't worry about me, ma'am, I just came to feed the shark."

**Both** - But those golden days are over, they're in the long gone by,

Never more will they return no matter how we try.

**Dickey** - But it was just this morning that I again saw you,

**Miss Pearl** - But I was with my husband and several children too.

**Dickey** - As I passed you in the street, oh I smiled for I could see,

**Miss Pearl** - What a big, fat, ugly crow you turned out to be.

**Both** - But those golden days are over, they're in the long gone by.

Never more will they return; no matter how we try.
Lee Meredith

**Lee Meredith** is an American actress, best known for playing sexy dumb blonde roles in movies and sketch comedies, such the beautiful Swedish secretary Ulla in the original 1968 movie, "The Producers."

Meredith was born Judith Lee Sauls on October 22, 1947 in River Edge, New Jersey and grew up in Fair Lawn, New Jersey. Not much is known about her life. He TV debut was on "The Jack Benny Program" in 1958, followed by roles in "The Producers," "Funny Girl," "The Stoolie" and "The Sunshine Boys" with Walter Matthau and George Burns. She also performed with comedian Jackie Gleason in a TV special 1973. In the 1980s, Meredith appeared alongside writer Mickey Spillane in a series of humorous commercials for Miller Lite beer.

In 1994, Meredith starred in Benny Hill's World Tour: New York, appearing in sketches as a nurse and as a voluptuous woman. Mostly retired from acting, she started working as a Special Education aide in Bergen County, New Jersey in 2002, eventually becoming a teaching assistant in cosmetology at a Bergen County high school in 2007.

She has been married to film producer Bert Stratford since 1969; they have two children.
Duncan Wood

**Duncan Wood** is an English writer, director and producer possibly best-known for his collaborations with Tony Hancock for the BBC during the late 1950s and early 1960s, and the British sitcom "Steptoe and Son."

Born on March 24, 1925 in Bristol, England, his first work was on "Great Scott, It's Maynard," followed by "Hancock's Half Hour," "Comedy Playhouse" and "Oh Brother" before directing "Steptoe and Son." He also produced the first series of "The Bed-Sit Girl," and worked with Frankie Howerd, Ken Dodd and Benny Hill, producing Benny's first show and sit com for the BBC. His other work includes "Garrison Theater" and "Great Scott, It's Maynard."

From 1972 to 1973, he was the BBC's Head of Comedy, later departing in 1973 to become Head of Light Entertainment at Yorkshire. He was executive producer for "Life Begins At Forty" and 'The Galton & Simpson Playhouse."

Sadly, he passed away on January 11, 1997 in London, England.

## Episode(s)

* Saturday Comedy Hour
* Saturday Comedy Hour 2
* March 2, 1957
* March 30, 1957
* April 27, 1957
* June 1, 1957
* Portrait of a Bridegroom
* A Pair of Socks
* The Constant Viewer
* The Changeling
* The Before Man
* Aunt Mirabelle
* The Mystery of Black Bog Manor
* Cry of Innocence
* The Time Bicycle
* The Shooting of Willie the Kid
March 30, 1957

## Production

**Episode:** 7

**Date:** March 30, 1957

**Time:** 45 minutes

**Musical Director:** Bob Sharples

**Producer:** John Street

**Director:** Tommy Linden

**Writer:** Benny Hill and Dave Freeman

## Episode

* Guests include:
	+ The Tommy Linden Dancers

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Susan Denny
* Peter Haigh
* Jeremy Hawk
* Patricia Hayes
* Edmund Hockridge
* June Richmond

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** March 2, 1957
* **Next Episode:** April 27, 1957