Dish Dash (episode)/Transcript

(The episode begins with the Candle Friends on the couch watching TV when Candle Man’s stomach growls)
Candle Man: I think it’s about lunch time. Dibs not getting the food! (Puts his hand on his candle holder)
Mystic: Woah! (puts her hand on her head)
Limefong: Ha! (puts his hand in his hair)
Shaduck: Dang it!
(Shaduck goes to the fridge)
Shaduck: Fish soup for me...Pizza for Lime...Grilled cheese for Mystic...hmm…
(A slice of pizza flies into Limefong’s face and a grilled cheese sandwich falls onto Mystic’s lap, she picks it up as Limefong sucks the pizza into his mouth without touching it, Mystic looks at Limefong)
Mystic: Eugh..can’t ya be a little more formal, Lime?
Candle Man: What about my eggplants?
Shaduck: Uh…(looks through the fridge again) Yep!
Candle Man: Yay!
Shaduck: Yep, I’m positive you’ve run out.
Candle Man: Aww.
(Shaduck walks back to the couch with a bowl of fish soup)
Shaduck: You can try fish soup for a change!
Candle Man: Nah, I’ll stick with eggplants.
Shaduck: But...you don’t have any…
Candle Man: I’d rather just eat my berries than fish soaked in broth.
Shaduck: Oh come on, you’re just making it sound bad! Give it a try. (muttering) But it will leave you in debt.
Candle Man: I’m good.
Shaduck: TRY IT!
Candle Man: NO, YOU CAN’T FORCE ME!
Shaduck: YOU SHOULD TRY IT BECAUSE...IT IS BETTER THAN EGGPLANTS!
(Candle Man slowly turns his head to face Shaduck)
Candle Man: What did you just say?
Shaduck: Fish soup is BETTER than eggplants!
Candle Man: NO! IT IS THE OTHER WAY AROUND AND IT IS A FACT!
Limefong: Pizza is better than both of your miserable meals!
(They both start laughing.)
Shaduck: Honestly, Lime. You’re not even in this!
Limefong: At least pizza being a favorite is sensible.
Candle Man: That’s enough outta you.
(He throws Limefong outside.)
Shaduck: There’s only one way to settle this.
Candle Man: That we can agree on.
(Theme song plays.)
Mystic: So, how exactly are you guys going to settle this argument? You were a little vague on that point.
Shaduck: None other than…
Candle Man and Shaduck: A DISH DASH!
Candle Man: The ultimate competition to settle the age old questions about food!
Mystic: (sighs) Why do I feel like this will cause nothing but more drama between the two of you?
Shaduck: Because it will.
Candle Man: DUH!
(Cue Mystic just facepalming as she is heard groaning)
Candle Man: That’s the spirit!
Mystic: Oh brother...So what is a Dish Dash, exactly?
Candle Man: Only the coolest competition in the universe!
Shaduck: Yeah!
Mystic: Yeah, but how does it go?
Shaduck: The two foods that are competing go through a set of courses. Whichever food that can get through the courses with their owner and with the least amount of faults wins!
Mystic: That sounds a bit...crazy.
Candle Man: That’s the point!
Shaduck: The crazier it is, the clearer it is to pick the winner!
Candle Man: It’s definitely gonna be me!
Shaduck: Yeah, in Bizarro land!
(Cuts to a course somewhere around Wikia. Kellie is there as a sideline reporter.)
Kellie: Here we are at the Dish Dash course! This might be the best Dish Dash we’ve ever seen!
(Up in an announcer box are TwoBrains and Pesron)
TwoBrains: It’s a beautiful day down there! Wouldn’t you agree, Pesron?
Pesron: Absolutely, TwoBrains! Here at the course (cuts down to Candle Man and Shaduck with their foods, where they are “training” them.) are our contestants, Candle Man and Shaduck Darkbird! Today on Dish Dash… EGGPLANT VS FISH SOUP! Kellie down there will walk us through the first course!
Kellie: (as she speaks, the camera shows the first part) The first part of the course will be the Nerk part! Each contestant and their meal must make it through a large obstacle course while a Nerk gun shoots at them. Whoever can get through with the least amount of faltering wins!
Pesron: Are our contestants ready?
Shaduck: Yes!
Candle Man: Yeah!
TwoBrains (over a speaker): Three...two...one...GO!
(The duo hold their meals as the obstacle course splits into two sections, one for each player. On an elevated plate-form, Moose and Baghead hold giant Nerk guns. Baghead laughs maniacally before they both start firing, Moose firing at Candle Man, and Baghead firing at Shaduck.)
Pesron: The game has begun!
TwoBrains: It seems like both contestants are making it through the first part of the course easily!
(However just as she says that, Candle Man and Shaduck start getting pummeled with Nerk darts. Short screams of pain come out of both of them.)
Pesron and TwoBrains: OOOH!
TwoBrains: That’s gotta hurt!
(Cuts to Candle Man, who hides behind a floppy foam pillar that holds nothing up. He sets down his eggplant for a second and looks at Moose.)
Moose: DIE, CONTESTANTS! DIE!
Baghead: Uh, dude?
Moose: Yes?
Baghead: We’re not supposed to kill them.
Moose: Oh. GET HURT, CONTESTANTS! GET HURT!
(Candle Man sees an opening through the fire and runs away and forward from the cover he was using, eggplant in hand.)
Candle Man: AHHHHHHHH!
TwoBrains: It looks like Candle Man is running for it, but...what is Shaduck doing?
(Now over to Shaduck. He is caring not of openings, and is just running. Having an idea, he turns invisible.)
Baghead: What the…
Candle Man: NO FAIR!
Shaduck: Ha ha!
Candle Man: Then I can do this!
(He starts burning darts in midair.)
Moose: Hey! I bought those darts!
(Candle Man gets another idea; he runs at the speed of light)
Shaduck: Hey, that’s cheating!!!!
Candle Man: Ha!
(He makes it to the end of part one.)
Candle Man: YES!
(Shaduck comes out of invisibility and makes it to the end as well.)
Shaduck: Ducc!
(A horn is blown, signifying the end of part one.)
Pesron: Part one is over! Let’s go check with Kellie.
Kellie: It’s not over yet! We must see who really won!
(She joins Baghead and the contestantson the sidelines. Behind them is a turned off TV monitor.)
Candle Man: What happened to the guy that shot at me?
Kellie: He… stormed off because you burned his darts.
Shaduck: I wonder who that guy was… because he kind of looks familiar.
Kellie: Anywho, do you all know who won part one?
Candle Man: Me, obviously!
Shaduck: You used the “Speed Of Light” power. That’s cheating!
Candle Man: You used invisi-
Kellie: ENOUGH WITH THE FIGHTING YOU TWO! Anyway, that’s not how you win this contest.
Candle Man and Shaduck: It’s not?
Kellie: No! It’s how much you get hit by the darts! Let’s take a look at the charts!
(The monitor turns on. The light blue screen is divided into two by a white line. At the top of one section each is both their names in white. Underneath the names are a red line and the number 0.)
Kellie: Shaduck got hit...
(The number spins up and up until it reads…)
Kellie: ...56 times!
Shaduck: Darn!
Candle Man: Ha!
Kellie: Don’t laugh yet. Candle Man got hit...
(The number spins up and up until it reads…)
Kellie: 102 times!
Candle Man: What?! But I burned all of the darts that were gonna hit me!
Kellie: Yes, but the point was to not let your meal get hit! Shaduck defended his meal the most, while you were a bit more… reckless.
Shaduck: YES!
Candle Man (whispers to Baghead): How could you let him win! I’m your friend!
Baghead: I don’t take sides. Besides, fried chicken trumps all!
(Back to the announcing box…)
TwoBrains: And there you have it! Fried chicken-I mean fish soup, wins part one! Who will win part two? Kellie, tell us how it works.
Kellie: Part two is the hardest yet! (The camera pans over the second part of the course, which is just two tables. Baghead takes the food and sets one on each table.) Each contestant must try to resist their favorite food while looking at it. Our crew will try to make you want it more, but you must resist!
Candle Man: Done and done!
Shaduck: Yup!
TwoBrains (over a speaker): Three...two…(Candle Man and Shaduck stand in front of their table.)...one….GO!
(The two begin looking at their food. As they look, Baghead and Kellie go up to them, Baghead once again going for fish soup, and Kellie doing the eggplant. Baghead takes a spoon and stirs the soup. Kellie polishes the eggplant. Both contestants start sweating. Baghead then takes out his lightsaber and uses it to heat up the fish soup. Shaduck can now smell the fish soup clearly. Kellie dumps a cup of water on the eggplant and turns on a fan. Candle Man can now smell his favorite food too somehow. Baghead takes another spoon and sips from the spoon. He smacks his lips underneath his bag. Kellie takes out a fork and loudly stabs the eggplant, some of its juice spraying on Candle Man.)
Candle Man: ENOUGH! DON’T HURT IT!
(He runs over to his food and eats it. A horn sounds.)
Pesron: This part is over!
Shaduck: YES! That’s two points for me!
Kellie (offscreen): Oh, is it?
(She walks up to Candle Man, who sadly burps.)
Kellie: His meal was clearly more irresistible, yes?
Candle Man: Wait, do you mean…
Kellie, TwoBrains, and Pesron: CANDLE MAN WINS!
Shaduck: WHA?!
Candle Man: YES! HAHA!
Shaduck: BUT YOU LIED!
Kellie: I never said “who resists the longest wins”.
Shaduck: NO FAIR!
TwoBrains: It looks like part two of the course is over!
Pesron: Which means it’s time for part three!
(Mystic hands Candle Man and Shaduck each a bottle of water)
Candle Man: But part three is about to-
Mystic: For both of you to stay hydrated.
Candle Man: Thank you, then, my Mystical.
Shaduck: Yeah, thanks!
(Shaduck opens the water and splashes the water in Candle Man’s face)
Candle Man: What was that for?!
Shaduck: You looked like you were hot.
(Candle Man then opens his water bottle and then proceeds to splash his water at Shaduck’s face)
Shaduck: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
Candle Man: Why not?
(Cuts back to Kellie.)
Kellie: For part three, (pans over the third part of the course, which is an elongated table and a large abundance of each food.) contestants must participate in an eating competition. Whoever can eat the supply of their favorite food that we’ve provided first wins part three.
TwoBrains (over a speaker): Three...two…(Candle Man and Shaduck sit down in their seats.)...one...GO!
(The two begin gobbling their food.)
Pesron: And they’re off! Candle Man seems to be taking the lead, but Shaduck is hot on his heels!
Candle Man (mouth full, to Shaduck): You’re gonna lose.
Shaduck (mouth full, to Candle Man): Unlikely.
(They continue gobbling.)
TwoBrains: It seems like Shaduck has taken the lead!
Pesron: They seem to be nearing the end…
(They keep gobbling, but Shaduck finishes first. The horn sounds as they both burp loudly)
Shaduck: YEAH!
Kellie: AND SHADUCK WINS!!!
Candle Man: NOOOO-wait, isn’t there a twist? There’s always a twist!
Kellie: Nope! Shaduck indeed wins!
Candle Man: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Kellie: Don’t worry, Candle Man! There are still two more parts!
Candle Man: NOOOOOOO-oh, that means I can still win!
Pesron: Indeed. Let’s go on to part four!
(Kellie is now standing in the middle of a kitchen that has been divided in two, but the only difference is the food on each front table in the kitchen, one being eggplant, and the other being fish soup.)
Kellie: In part four, contestants must make a meal using their favorite food! Whoever can finish their meal first wins! Are you two ready?
Candle Man: Yeah!
Shaduck: Ya dang right!
TwoBrains (over a speaker): Three...two…(Candle Man and Shaduck stand behind their tables.)...one...GO!
(The two begin making their meals. They are heard huffing and puffing as they make their meals. Shaduck dumps all of his food in a large pot. Candle Man puts his food in a bowl and mixes it with other ingredients. They begin making their meals. After a montage of the both of them making meals, Candle Man grabs his nice-looking meal and runs up a staircase, where he rings a bell. The horn sounds.)
Pesron: AND CANDLE MAN WINS!
Shaduck: Darn it!
(Scene quickly changes to…)
TwoBrains: Part five! In this one, two taste testers taste test the two meals, one made by each contestant. Whichever they agree is superior wins!
(Both contestants and their meals are now at the top of the staircase. Underneath a small roofed shelter with no walls is a table, two of each meal [four total], and sitting at them are none other than Mystic and Limefong.)
Shaduck: Guys! You’ll vote for me, right?
Candle Man: No, me!
Mystic: Honestly, I hate both.
Limefong: Same.
Kellie: Time for you guys to taste test. First up is eggplant Parmesan!
Candle Man: Ahem. Eggplant Parmesan a la Candle Man.
(They taste.)
Mystic: Mm, this is good.
Limefong: Really good!
Kellie: And now the other meal, which is...uh…
Shaduck: Soup noodles and fish balls, boiled in the broth!
(They taste.)
Mystic: Mm, this is good.
Limefong: Really good!
Candle Man: Yes, but which one is better?
Mystic: I like both!
Limefong: Me too!
Shaduck: BUT WHICH ONE IS BETTER?!
Mystic and Limefong: Both!
Shaduck: ARRRGH! If you can’t decide...I will.
(He lunges at Candle Man and both begin fighting. Punches are thrown, and the brawl goes on for a few seconds.)
Mystic, Limefong, and Kellie: ENOUGH!
Limefong: Why can’t you just agree that both are equally good.
(Silence…)
Candle Man: I guess that would be okay.
TwoBrains (who finally joins them on the ground, with Pesron and Baghead.): Well, can you agree on a second favorite meal?
Candle Man: ...I have to say fried chicken.
Shaduck: Me too...although, don’t mention the irony.
Baghead: That means I win!
Candle Man and Shaduck: WHAT?!
Baghead: Just kidding!
TwoBrains: Well, that’s all for this episode! Tune in next week on…
Everyone: DISH DASH!
(Zooms out as Baghead serves fried chicken to everyone, as it is the only thing they can agree on. Episode ends.)