Episode 167 - Mystery Box

## Intro

**Episode description:**
What's in the box?!?!?!?!

**Opening Quote:**
Lauren: YESSSSS. \*cackling\* YEEEEEESSSSSSSS.

**Player introduction:**
Sean: Hello and welcome to another episode of the tabletop champions podcast, I'm Sean your dungeon master and with me tonight we have Lauren who plays Dagna...

Lauren: Oh, um, hi everyone!

Sean: Steph - didn't someone just send you a bunch of new puns, too?

Lauren: They did! They did and I - I - I didn't pull it up in time. Oh wait I have one I have one I have one I have one I have one. What do you use to open the lock to your bar? Shots-keys!

\*many groans\*

Lauren: Thanks Wolfmaster!

Sean: Stephanie who plays Boone...

Stephanie (in Boone's voice): Ahoy-hoy.

Sean: Ben who plays Kallas...

Ben (in Kallas' voice): Greetings.

Sean: Matt who plays Cyrus...

Matt (in Cyrus' voice): Look into my eye.

Sean: And Kyle who plays Cam.

Kyle (in Craig voice): What race likes to throw tea pots? Tea-flings!

Stephanie: I don't - I was like, I don't know?

Sean: Is Craig on this bandwagon now?

Lauren: Yayyyyy!

Kyle: I - It was only because Lauren didn't have a pun, so I was like "oh shit, I should do a pun in Craig's voice."

Lauren: That's good, that's good.

Kyle: So, thank you to oh -

Matt: Your Craig voice kind of reminds me of that bear from, uh, The Cleveland Show.

Kyle: I found that pun on reddit, and I would credit it, but both people who posted the question and answer portion of it have vaguely racist usernames.

Matt: Ooh.

Sean: Jesus.

Kyle: Gonna go ahead and just say, found that one on reddit.

Sean: Kay, fair enough.

Ben: Probably a repost anyway.

## Episode Summary

* The episode opens with the party in a room with a skeleton and piano on a plinth in the center of the room and a swarm of bats on the ceiling. Boone sees that one of the bats has a scroll attached to it, and Kallas reads "Play it right or pay the price" on the piano in Undercommon. In an attempt to get the bat with the scroll, Cam hurls a javelin into the swarm, making them fly around and be more confusing. Kallas manages to catch the bat, and sheet music appears on his hand. Dagna goes to play the tune on the piano, but can't reach the keys. When Kallas approaches the piano, the rest of the party is magically anchored to the walls of the room at the four compass points. The people following catch up, but can't enter the room. Dagna guides Kallas through playing the music, but when he attempts a performance, he plays badly. The floor below Dagna falls, taking her with it. Kallas attempts the song three more times, with Cam, Cyrus, and then Boone suffering the same fate as Dagna. On his fifth failed attempt, a disintegration ray shoots out of the skeleton, killing Kallas instantly.
* The rest of the party found themselves falling into water, with no sense of direction. They are rescued by the ogre they set free, who is in a rowboat. When Kallas doesn't appear, they figure maybe he succeeded with the challenge. The ogre spots a pirate ship in a cavern ahead of them and folds himself a paper tricorn hat. Cam befriends the ogre and learns his name is Hunk. Hunk's family falls into the water, and Hunk panics, rowing towards the ship. The party uses fog, illusory tentacles, and Lightning Lure to hamper the family's progress. Cam invites Hunk to claim the party as his new family, and Hunk enthusiastically agrees as they make their way onto the ship.
* Inside the ship they find thousands of gold pieces and tons of artifacts. While they search for the song and Cyrus stuffs gold into his pockets, Hunk kills his old family, who had reached the ship. Cam starts stuffing approximately 6000 gold into his bag of holding, and Dagna finds a music box containing Grifto's tune. When it plays, Grifto appears to thank them for their help and apologize for Kallas' death. Seeing their dismay, he offers them a choice: all the gold in the ship, a mystery box, or Kallas' reincarnation in a random skeleton in the room. Alternatively, Grifto would keep Kallas' soul in a glass ball he was holding and visit him occasionally. Cam resignedly starts dumping gold out of his bag, but Grifto says he can keep 1500 of it. He then offers a second choice: 1500 gold or the mystery box. The party chooses Kallas and the mystery box. Kallas is reincarnated into the skeleton, which regrows its flesh and is revealed to be... a kobold.
* They convince Grifto to let Hunk leave with them, and the gold and Grifto vanish. They find themselves sailing away with Hunk, approaching the Wavebreaker. Another message in a bottle appears on the deck. Cam throws it off the ship and it reappears, containing the note, "It's your way home, idiot." Boone wants to open it right away and sail through, leaving the Wavebreaker behind, but Dagna thinks they should bring the Wavebreaker too. They decide to bring Hunk onto the Wavebreaker and find him a new ship when they return to Naluri. When the approach the Wavebreaker, captain Mythail greets them unenthusiastically, and they perceive that if they didn't make it out, she was going to leave them behind, using the bottle that has now been transferred to the party. The party gets mad and Mythail looks for the bottle in her bag, intending to go without them. Dagna loses her temper and pulls the cork, and the party sails into the bottle and back to Naluri, leaving the Wavebreaker behind. The episode ends with Cam opening the mystery box in his cabin, revealing a deck of cards.

## Memorable Quotes

Stephanie: We may need to take away your javelins, Kyle.
Kyle: At least there weren't any kids around.

Kyle: Okay, I'm back. What'd I miss. Oh no. Oh god.

Stephanie: Really Sean this is not your fault, this is Ben's fault.
Kyle: I mean, this is - it's - maybe it's Roll20's fault, but I mean I am looking at -
Ben: I feel like it's Matt's fault?

Cam: Sometimes the family you're given? Not the best option.

## Trivia

* Cyrus's summoned goat166 was supposed to be with the party, but was apparently forgotten.
* Kyle briefly left the room after Kallas' first failed performance, and returned to find that he and Cyrus were both gone.
* The musical challenge required two performance checks; after succeeding on the first, Kallas was assumed to have the first part of the song down, and only needed to succeed on the second each attempt. The DC was 14, and his rolls were, in order: 12+1 from bardic inspiration, nat 1, nat 1, 4, 11. He then rolled a nat 1 to dodge the disintegration ray.
* The members of Hunk's family each had four hit points.
* Ben rolled a d100 to determine his new race according to a table, and rolled an 85 to get kobold.