Monster Cereal Mascots

The Monster Cereal mascots were mentioned during episodes #64 through #67 of *House of Snax*, where Diet Coke and Lilith reviewed Frute Brute, Frenken Berry, Count Chocula, and Boo Berry. Some of the cereal boxes contain very descriptive and sexually explicit biographies of the characters, but they have only been present on boxes bought by Lilith, leading her to believe that these biographies are exclusive to Texas.

## Biographies

### Frute Brute

Born to Esmerelda, wife of raspberry magnate Landon Mayweather in 1834, Thaddeus Mayweather spent much of his youth in exclusive private boarding schools, gaining the knowledge he would need to take over his father’s considerable fruit empire. When not at school, he lived in the lap of luxury in the reclusive Mayweather estate, his every need catered to by the family manservant Brentdtly, his life unmarred by the proletarian ravages of the nearby harbor town of South Weathersby.

On a misty October night Thaddeus, 22 of age and fatigued with the plush confines of his home, wandered into the Weathersby Woods on a midnight stroll, lit only by the full moon. Thaddeus claims not to recall what happened after he left for the woods that night but the morning after he was found by the loyal Brendtly on the front steps of the Mayweather estate with his clothes ripped to shreds and a distinct, bloody bite mark on his neck. Brendtly tended to his wounds and nursed the young man back to health, but it seemed the scars left by that night ran deeper than the flesh.

After that night, Thaddeus only retreated further into his seclusion at Mayweather estate, speaking to no one but his trusted Brendtly. He spurned advances from the daughters of neighboring nobles who attempted to court his favor, either to consolidate their considerable familial wealth or simply due to the young man’s lithe and striking figure.

In the years that followed, an urban legend began to spread amongst the local dockworkers of a great beast prowling the harbor under moonlit nights. Dozens of dockworkers traded stories of being pursued by a hulking hairy figure, stalked and carnally ravaged by the mysterious creature who smelled strangely of sweet fruit. Word spread, and the Weathersby harbor became a popular destination among sailing folk on full moon nights, each of them looking to have their wanting holes filled with thick creamy loads by the legendary Fruit Brute.

### Franken Berry

Doctor Oswald Klempsinger was a surgeon living in northern germany with his lover, an italian pool cleaner named Bernardo in a reclusive castle. During a particularly brutal winter Bernardo was out gathering firewood he became lost, only being found after succumbing to frostbite in his arms and legs and ultimately passing.

Klempsinger found his cherished lover in the snow the next morning and brought his body back to his castle’s surgery room. His attempts at resuscitation proved ineffective at first, until Klempsinger chanced upon an idea while reading over experimental medical texts from a swiss doctor.

Under the cover of night, Klempsinger robbed graves and morgues, gathering the intact body parts to replace the ones destroyed by Bernardo’s frostbite. Through his days locked away deep in his castle, Klempsinger grafted body parts to his lover’s body, replacing almost all but his heart and, the one irreplaceable part of Bernardo. The one that drove Klempsinger near the point of madness to preserve. His luscious, meaty member.

through a combination of medical malpractice and something that bordered on the supernatural, Klempsinger returned a pulse to the body of his lost lover. The beast he awakened had none of Bernardo’s memories, nor much cognitive function at all, beyond a need to pound hole. And pound hole he did, finally sating Klempsinger’s lust. After his 18th consecutive prostate orgasm, Klempsinger gathered his thoughts long enough to name his creation, a combination of the swiss scientist whose work made his possible, and his cherished lovers name. FRANKEN BERRY

### Count Chocula

The only known record of Count Chocula comes from the journals of Jonathan Harkness, a chocolatier from Newcastle who in 1897 traveled to eastern europe in search of new flavors for his chocolates. He was given a mysterious warning from a villager in Transylvania to beware the Castle Chocula and the chocolatier within. Driven by his curiosity, he made a trek to the Castle and was greeted by the curious Count and his manservant Heathfield.

Both the count and Heathfield were hospitable, and treated the young Harkness to a bevy of chocolates, the flavors of which bewildered his senses to the point where he found himself unable to concentrate or indeed hold his consciousness. Harkness retired to a lush room in the Count's massive estate, escorted by Heathfield.

In his diaries he wrote of dreams of sucking and fucking, of gallons of sweet milky cum and of the count's luscious tongue rimming his hole. He awakened with a start, drenched in sweat, to news of the arrival of a doctor Van Halsey, a vampire hunter and singer. Harkness describes a tense scene in the foyer of the castle, the doctor stating Count Chocula is vampyr and that she is there to slay him in the name of the Lord. Harkness stepped in to defend the Count, saying that he is simply an eccentric chocolatier.

Heathfield, seeking to diffuse the situation, provided a dish of sweets of the count's creation. Halsey, Heathfield, Harkness and the count each partook and found themselves overtaken with lust the moment the chocolate touched their lips. They proceeded to have a bisexual orgy right there in the foyer, with no hole going unfulfilled. Von Halsey was armed with her standard vampire gear, of course, but was also hard packing and rammed her strap in Heathfield's ass. It went on for hours, loads were slurped down by all. Harkness even recounted drinking Count Chocula's piss and noting that it tasted faintly of sweet hazelnut.

That was the final entry of Jonathan Harkness' journal. His fate, along with the fate of the count and his manservant remains unknown.  Van Halsey went on to become a singer, with chart topping hits such as Without Me and Him & I.

### Boo Berry

Timothy Malmet was born in 1883 to a life of privilege at his father's palacial estate. His father was a wealthy owner of a blueberry farm, his mother a socialite. He was educated at the finest all-boys boarding schools in Massachussets. On his 21st birthday his parents threw him an extravagant soiree at the estate, attended to by his friends from boarding school and flowing with the Malmot family's famous blueberry wine.

He was given many extravagant gifts, but it seemed his favorite was a little yellow porkpie hat with a red band and a matching red bowtie, given to him by his best friend Jeremiah. After imbibing too many glasses and playing a few rounds of rugby with the boys, Timothy found himself pondering his future at the lip of a well when an errant rugby ball flew in his direction. He was hit on his head and fell into the well, dying instantly. He was a virgin and now he's a ghost or whatever.