Minor Productions

# Cornley - Minor Productions

There are many productions across Cornley that we only know superficial details for and/or are only mentioned in passing, many of these are found in promotional material, programmes, and other miscellaneous sources, for more information on where they are located, please see the less comprehensive List of Productions on the Cornley Drama Society page.

## List of Minor Productions

List is sorted alphabetically, except with direct continuations from other minor productions, which are placed in a row after the first one, regardless of the sequels place in the alphabet. Summaries delivered in quotation marks are the official summaries from the drama society. Productions with (?) at the end are **not necessarily performed with the CPDS if they are performed at all**, but are listed here anyway for posterity.

### A Fly in the Ointment

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Daniel, Rev Prone

### A Fat Old Portuguese Woman Calls

**Summary:**

What is seemingly a new take on *An Inspector Calls*, brought on by poor casting. The Portuguese Woman in questions relation to the two other Portuguese members of the Drama Society seen in *The Magic of Lisbon*, if any, is unknown

### A Midsummer Night's Stamina(?)

**Known Cast:**

* Jonathan Harris
* *Emote*

**Summary:**

This was performed with "Emote", a rival drama company to the CPDS, with a 14 strong cast, of whom all were conscripted for this play to pedal exercise bikes for 2 hours straight.

### Alice in Funderland

**Known Cast:**

* Sandra Wilkinson - Fun Alice

### An Audience with: An Audience

**Known Cast:**

* N/A\*

**Summary:**

"The audience take their seats, the lights go down and the curtain goes up revealing another audience. No Host.

### As You Bike It

**Known Cast:**

* Jonathan Harris
* *Emote*

**Summary:**

A 20 mile long "cycling promenade experience"

### Back to the Future(?)

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove

**Summary:**

Self funded by Robert, was pulled over by the police for going 88mph during rehearsals.

### Black Beauty

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Lame Horse

### Blood Brothers

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Eddie

### Canterbury Tales

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - The Miller

### Cat

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Mcavity

**Summary:**

Due to budgeting and personnel constraints, they could not gather enough actors to portray all the characters, and so they pivoted from *Cats* to *Cat.*

### Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Augustus Gloop

### Croxley's Crazy Firework Extravaganza

**Known Cast:**

* Trevor Watson - Firework Contributor

**Summary:**

This was not a production under the umbrella of the CPDS, however due to it being 'performed' during Trevors time at Cornley Polytechnic, it remains on this list.

### Dream Play

**Known Cast:**

* Chris Bean - Director
* Jonathan Harris

### Eden's Empire

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Winston Churchill

### Evita(?)

**Known Cast:**

* Francis Beaumont

**Summary:**

Despite being championed by Francis, it is unknown whether Cornley ever performed it.

### Gusset

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Mr Undermire

### Hamlet

**Known Cast:**

* Chris Bean - Hamlet
* Robert Grove - Laertes

**Summary:**

The Cornley production of Hamlet was, as to be expected, extremely poor, however reviewers were lured in with the promise of cake and then held captive after the show until they promised to give a good review.

### Hothouse

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Roote

### It's Just Not Cricket

**Known Cast:**

* Max Bennett - Glen

**Summary:**

Performed in the Cornley upstairs space

### Jack and the Bean

**Known Cast:**

* Sandra Wilkinson - Sexy Cow (sometimes simply 'Cow')

**Summary:**

Due to budgeting constraints, the beanstalk and all that comes after was excluded from the production

### James and the Peach / James, Where's your Peach?

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Aunt Sponge
* Chris Bean - Grasshopper

**Summary:**

Cornley wished to perform *James and the Giant Peach*, however due to budgeting constraints they were limited to a regular peach. During performances, the peach went off, so they improvised and changed the play into *James, Where's your Peach?*

### Jason and the Argonauts

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Jason

### Jim Jones and the Puzzlemuch Tree

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Mr Puzzlemuch

### Joseph and His Amazing Brown Duffle Coat

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Pharoh

**Summary:**

The costumer designer turned out to be colourblind, but they did not have the capital to try again, so they went with the brown duffle coat instead.

NOTE: It is as of yet unknown if this and their production correctly listed as *Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat* and this are the same or different.

NOTE 2: Sometimes when this production is mentioned, the brown duffle coat is attributed purely to budgeting restraints, with no mention of the colourblind costumer designer

### Le Miserable: David Grimboard's Dramatic Reading

**Known Cast:**

* David Grimboard (ex-conservative politician for Cornley) - Narrator

**Summary:**

"Local conservative ex-politician David Grimboard reads aloud the full lyrics and score of the West End/Broadway hit musical *Les Misérables*. Production includes 97 electrifying costume changes."

### Lost Island

**Known Cast:**

* Max Bennett - Steven

**Summary:**

Performed in an open air theatre in Northumberland

### Macbeth (Main Production)

**Known Cast:**

* Chris Bean - Macbeth
* Robert Grove - Macduff

### Macbeth - 1920's Noir Version

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Mac
* Robert's Nan - Beth

### Madame Tussauds Chamber of Horror - Live!

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Victorian Policeman

### Mercury Fur

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Party Guest

### More Horse (Sequel to War Horse)

**Known Cast:**

* Chris Bean

**Summary:**

In which Chris performed a terrible Jamaican accent, before being flooded with complaints and having to promise to never do it again.

### Mr Saigon

**Summary:**

In a production of what was supposed to be *Miss Saigon*, poor casting choices led to them having to change the name to *Mr Saigon*.

### Neglect

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Young Freddy

### Nightwear on Elm Street

**Summary:**

A poorly-received "Pyjama-based" production of *Nightmare on Elm Street*, it is implied but never stated this is due to publicity material misprints, as with *The Texas Chainsaw Massager*

### Oliver! The Musical

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove (Sometimes David Suchet) - Mr Bumble
* Dennis Tyde

**Summary:**

During this production, the actor playing Mr Bumble fell onto one of the backing dancers, however was unable to reach the hospital due to the actor parking their car in the way, and dying.

### Othello

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Iago
* Chris Bean - Othello

**Summary:**

This is sometimes listed as "Othell", this is presumed to be a spelling mistake, but there is no official confirmation the two plays are indistinct

### Pandora's Box

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Panic

### Puss in Boots

**Summary:**

Utilised a real cat; alternative name among the Society of "Puss Who Was Occasionally in Boots, But Often Refused to Wear His Boots, and Pooed in Them"

### Rapunzel

**Known Cast:**

* Sandra Wilkinson - Rapunzel

**Summary:**

Due to an ill-timed hair cut, Rapunzel was imprisoned in a bungalow instead.

### Razerwire

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Skinhead 2

### Richard III

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Dorset

### Robert Grove's Biopic

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Writer, Director, Stage Manager, Himself

### Romeo and Juliet 2: Back From the Dead

**Summary:**

"Two households, both alike, both full of zombies. Watch as Friar Lawrence fends of the resurrected corpses of the characters who died in Romeo and Juliet"

### Snow White and the Tall Broad Gentlemen

**Known Cast:**

* Sandra Wilkinson - Snow White
* Robert Grove - Dopey

**Summary:**

Due to the small size of the drama society and "poor casting choices", they didn't have anyone short enough to play dwarves, so they pivoted to tall broad gentlemen instead.

### The Caretaker

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Director

**Summary:**

"[W]e held auditions for three days but no one turned up, then three minutes before we were due to finish on the last day the perfect man for the role walked into the room. Unfortunately he was the caretaker and had come to lock up."

### The Curious Incident of the Dog in Crazy Crazy Craig's Discount Sport Warehouse (Sports Socks 2 for 1)

**Summary:**

Due to lack of funding, the Company settled for a sponsorship while performing their version of *The Curious incident of the Dog in the Night-time*, set in a local sport's shop. This is one of two known productions by Cornley to have received a commercial sponsorship, with the other being The Nativity.

### The Libertine

**Known Cast:**

* Chris Bean - Rochester

### The Lion and the Wardrobe

**Summary:**

Due to Personnel Restraints, they were forced to exclude the witch from the production.

### The London Plague

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - 3rd Grotesque Man

### The Magic of Lisbon: Character Led Walking Tour

**Known Cast:**

* Two unknown Portugese men - Themselves

**Summary:**

"Two Comical Portugese bachelors introduce you to all the most spectacular sights Lisbon has to offer. Presented in the Cornley Polytechnic Quad."

### The Man in the Attic

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Mr X

**Summary:**

Short Film.

### The Nativity(?)

**Known Casts:**

* Sandra's Mother - Mary
* Dennis - Shepard

**Summary:**

This does not refer to the nativity from the goes wrong show, but rather Dennis' from his primary school, and Sandra's Mothers from a previous generation of the CPDS

### The Seagull

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Konstantin

**Summary:**

Midway through the production, there was a fire drill

### The Snowman

**Known Cast:**

* Aled Jones\* - Himself

"Come down to the Cornley football fields and be transported into a winter wonderland full of snow and ice accompanied by a real life CD of Aled Jones singing. Note: Performance is subject to weather conditions with a current forecast predicting 15 degrees with mild drizzle"

### The Texas Chainsaw Massager

**Summary:**

Due to misprints in their promotional material of their production of *The Texas Chainsaw Massacre* they ended up performing this version instead, "in which a masked man went on a rampage giving backrubs to the local community."

### The Three Little Pigs - Promenade Version

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - The Big Bad Wolf

**Summary:**

It took Robert 15 hours to blow the houses down.

### The Trial

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Josef K

### Timon (and Pumba) of Athens

**Summary:**

"We're bringing this Shakespearian tragedy into the 21st century by adding everyone's favourite Lion King character "Pumba". Come and watch the generous Athenian give away his fortunes while Pumba sings to make him less anxious. Hakuna Matata"

### Two Sisters

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Tusenbach

**Summary:**

This is listed as "Three Sisters" in the TPTGW programme.

### Waiting for Godot: The Immersive Promenade Experience

**Known Cast:**

* N/A

**Summary:**

"One remote tree. No cast. Performance ends at your discretion. Please bring your own seating.

### Waiting for Godot (Full Performance)

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Vladimir

### Waiting for Godot 2

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Godot

**Summary:**

Self-written sequel by Robert.

### Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf

**Known Cast:**

* Sandra Wilkinson - Virginia Wolf

### Wicked! Pictures

**Summary:**

"Two members of the Drama Society perform choerographed holding-up of unofficial photographs of hit musical *Wicked* to the show's awesome soundtrack. Soundtrack and images may be censored due to copyright.

### Wind in the Willows (Full Production)

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove - Toad
* Chris Bean - Badger

### Wind in the Willows (Robert Grove Solo Production)

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove

**Summary:**

"On Thursday 7th May Robert Grove will be taking over 400 electric fans down to Cornley Public Park for a more literal one-man adaptation of the classic tale"

### Wind in the Widows

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove

**Summary:**

"On Friday 8th May Robert Grove will take his 400 electric fans down on from the park to Cornley Retirement Home to perform an avant-garde twist on his one-man literal adaptation"

### Wind in the Pillows

**Known Cast:**

* Robert Grove

**Summary:**

"On Saturday 9th May Robert Grove will then take his 400 electric fans back to public park [sic] along with 400 of Cornley Retirement Home's goose feather pillows for an even more avant-garde twist on his one-man literal adaptation"