Episode 17: World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

Welcome to our new website to sign up for registry on the following email topics. Select your topic for email:

[  ]Politics

[  ] Business Advice

[x] Nasty Porno

## Idea Details

* Idea: World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service
* Creator of idea: Drew
* Purpose of idea: I have a totally innocent, sweet, and exciting idea. It's very simple, OK? It's the World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service, OK? And what this is gonna be a service where, basically, we're gonna have - we'll have a website, right? You go on there and basically have all the different types of email forwards that you could get. Stuff about pizza if you want it, stuff about um, you know, uh there would be adult stuff, obviously. You can order spaghetti, there'll be spaghetti information. For ordering spaghetti. The Italian pasta. It's called the World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service. And what it is, it's gonna be a website, you can go on there, you enter your email, you select all the different topics you wanna have emails forwarded to you about, and you can have all those emails forwarded to you. That's basically - basically you just sign up with your email and then you click the topics that you wanna get emails about and then they'll be sent to you.
* Timetable: Drew will start saving up emails until he gets to 1000 emails and then he will start the service. However, it will require staffing ideally from the old people working at World Wide Train (verb), so it may be delayed while that is being implemented.
* Idea details:
	+ Once World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service is implemented, you can no longer use any other email forwarding registration services. You can still forward emails yourself but if you want emails forwarded to you about socialism or Marxism or leftist podcasts, for instance, you select those options and then you'll receive a bunch of emails about those.
	+ World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service will be staffed by people forwarding specific emails all day to people who requested them. Some of the people hired for this position will be the old people counterfeiting money with the Printerns at World Wide Train (verb). They will work at the World Wide Call Center around the clock forwarding emails based on people's requests.
	+ World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service will be free and will not have ads. It will make money by selling the personal information (e.g., name, age, sex, gender, credit card number, will they marry Drew, etc.) of everyone who signs up for the email forwards to third and fourth-party groups.
	+ If someone has signed up to receive a certain kind of email forwards but there are none saved up, new emails can be created to meet those demands by people working at the World Wide Call Center.
	+ All the computers forwarding emails at the World Wide Call Center will have the free version of Norton Antivirus 2020 on them to prevent the spread of viruses. It is estimated that there will be 5 or 6 computers at the World Wide Call Center forwarding all the emails, though it depends how many people sign up for the World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service.
	+ Some options for email forwarding topics include Pizzagate, movies, *The Batman*, politics, music, art, painting, sculpture.
	+ It is the user's responsibility to ensure their email forwards are not sent to their spam folder.
	+ Signing up for the World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service will automatically opt users in to marrying Drew. There will be an option to change this setting to No, but the default will be Yes as a means to trick someone into marrying Drew.
	+ All emails sent by the World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service will be no-reply.

## Devil Play

* Josiah asked what World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service even is, what the problem is that is being solved, and how this plugs into the utopian future that Globe Hell Warning is working towards. He pointed out that email forwards sound outdated.
	+ Drew countered that World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service is bringing back the email forward as a way to communicate with people again and have a personal touch.
	+ Josiah asked who is sending the emails, though, describing World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service as something more like a backend publishing tool.
	+ Drew stated that no one knows where the original emails being forwarded come from, but that we can hire new people to do the forwarding. This could be a position for the old people at World Wide Train (verb), for instance, who are otherwise spending their time counterfeiting money.
	+ Josiah pointed out that the Internet would be abolished with the implementation of World Wide Web, being replaced by a system of can-and-strings. He asked how email forwards could even play a part in a system like that.
	+ Drew suggested World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service could be implemented into World Wide Web, but offered no information on what that would entail.
	+ Josiah asked what would happen with emails that haven't been forwarded yet, first offering an example where someone is waiting around for an email from their aunty.
	+ Drew suggested they would need to set up a 6-month project to collect forwarded emails before implementing World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service. This will ensure they are not inundated with a wave of requests but no emails to send. To do this, they will simply have to start getting emails.
	+ Josiah, baffled, asked how they will do this and if Drew even knows how email works.
	+ Drew revealed that he has already signed everybody up for different emailing lists and that emails are already being collected. So they will keep doing this and get some capacity to save up even more and then eventually send them out.
	+ Josiah reiterated his earlier question of what the point of World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service is and what problem is being solved.
	+ Drew revealed that the point of World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service is to share and collect everything in one little spot.
	+ Josiah pointed out that it's not really one spot, though, since there are so many different options that all get sent out differently.
	+ Drew countered that there is one spot to sign up for all the email forwards, but distribution is being handled to meet that request. People will work around the clock and World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service will have no ads and will be free. However, it will not be a non-profit.
* Josiah asked what the business model for World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service will be and how it will make money if there are no ads and it is free to use.
	+ Drew responded that when people sign up with their email address, World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service will also collect some other information like name, age, gender, sex, etc. This information will be sold for a lot of money.
* Josiah asked what they will do if someone requests a certain kind of email forwards but there are none saved up.
	+ Drew countered that they can easily create new emails to meet those demands.
	+ Josiah responded that this really makes them more like a magazine since they have original content, and suggested that they could eventually become a streaming service like Hulu. He asked if they could just forward MKV files to send full episodes of *The Office*, for instance, instead of sending emails.
	+ Drew said the file sizes would be too large for their capacity and they would need to sign up for Microsoft Outlook Premium or something.
* Josiah asked what the antiviral situation will be to prevent the mass spread of viruses through email forwards.
	+ Drew responded that they will use the free version of Norton Antivirus 2020 on all the computers sending emails at the World Wide Call Center. He estimated that there would be like 5 or 6 computers, but it depends on how many people sign up for the voluntary World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service.

## Notable Events

* Josiah and Drew debated renaming the future world to World Wide Calgary, as discussed in Episode 16: World Wide Walk. Drew stated that he still wished to discuss the matter with Josiah later offline.
* Drew revealed that he only listens to podcasts about ghosts or unsolved mysteries.
* Josiah and Drew listened to an episode of *Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast* while introducing Globe Hell Warning. They then noticed an episode of *Comedy Bang Bang* named *Popcorn World* (Episode 679) and accused them of stealing the idea from Globe Hell Warning.
* Josiah revealed there is a secret meaning behind the logo for Globe Hell Warning.
* This episode's Seg-Mind involved breathing in, then saying "Borat", then breathing out, then saying "Borat 2". This was repeated a few times but Josiah stopped doing the breathing portion of the Seg-Mind partway through the exercise and instead focused on playing videos while saying "Borat" and "Borat 2". They then got distracted and watched several videos while talking over them.
* Drew discussed this episode's idea over a video called "Music That Will Make You Piss".
* World Wide Call Center
* Josiah and Drew discussed *The Batman*.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "[In response to Drew saying he looks in the classified ads for a dog or cat he could buy when he's looking for something nasty] Well uh if you're confessing to that sort of behavior, that is reprehensible. If you're saying that when you get your nasty horny urges and you decide to pick up the daily newspaper and get that ink on your fingers and you decide that 'I'm feeling all nasty, I want someone to cruise on over and finish me off, so to speak' and you're telling me you go looking for lost pets? Cause you like them lost?"
* "[On the topic of Drew bringing up Pizzagate] You said you can sign up for pizza emails, and then I saw you wink."
* "Rappin4stupid."
* "Instead of 'Drew', I would say 'lose'."
* "I'm not toxic. What are you toxin' about? Hey what are you toxin' about? Hey you toxin' to me?"
* "Toxin' Heads. The band."

### Drew

* "Hey everyone, my name's Scott Popperman."
* "Welcome to Globe Hell Warm."
* "[In response to Josiah saying Drew uses the classified ads to find lost pets when he's horny] No, I'm saying there's much much better things that you can find in the classified. A cat, a kitten, a garage sale."
* "How does the word search make you feel?"
* "[On the topic of Elon Musk naming his company Tesla and making the logo a 'T'] So why didn't he call his name something that started with an 'M'? Like *Mario's Cars*."
* "I have nothing to say about fucking, Josiah."
* "For fuck's sake, Josiah. Josiah has loaded the 'Love Is A Bitch' sex playlist."
* "[On the topic of *Comedy Bang Bang* having jokers coming on the show every week] Well that's the point of their show. They come on to make jokes. Apparently the point of this show is to be interrupted."
* "Josiah Spews."
* "I have a feeling you don't know a thing about Batman."
* "Well you know what, Josiah? Maybe I don't want you to get a read on me. Maybe I know how toxic you are really and I don't want you really in my life."

## Trivia

* Josiah and Drew can be heard doing vocal warmups at the beginning of the episode.
* Drew can be heard farting several times at the beginning of the episode.