A Sit Down with the Devil: The Everything Pirates

**Date Started:** January 7th, 2022
**Date Completed:** Ongoing
**Users Involved:** User:ThePirateKingmaker, User:Black Dwarf Star
**Setting:** On Board *The Devil's Own Luck*
**Characters Involved**:
* **Pirates**: Mon Reji, Henry Avery, Arukana, Lussac Shiloh

### GOOOOOOOD MORNING GRAND LINE!

"Gooooooood morning, Grand Line and all the little ships at sea, this is your FAVORITE Radio Host, The King of Pirate Radio, Mon Reji, bringing you the finest of music from your favorite pirate crews (*sick guitar riff)*, the truest uncut news that the WORLD GOVERNMENT (*boos and hisses)* doesn't want you to hear about, and the rawest interviews by the only true rockstars of our age, the most wanted and the most feared, the most powerful, the Greatest Pirates on the Seas!"

A cacaphony of radio sound effects can be heard, including pistol shots, the clashing of swords, the screams of battle, and the singing of pirate shanties.

"Today, the King of Radio Swing sits down with greediest pirates on the ocean, a true force to keep your eyes on, and the hosts of a collective bounty that will soon topple two B-B-B-Billion Berries, it's... THE EVERYTHING PIRATES!" *\*alarms and sirens blare\** "Led by a brother in royalty, the 'Ship King' Henry Avery, the beautiful and brilliant Arukana, the sticky-fingered property filcher Seizawa, and the sonic-heartstealing-swordswoman Brooke Shephard, the Everything Pirates are here to steal your wife, steal your ship, steal your home, and steal... OUR HEARTS! So please join us, or don't because [[WE DON'T FUCKING CARE]], as we sit down and learn about this up and coming crew that has big plans for the future!"

"You all know me, the King of Swing and the Avatar of the Airwaves. Everyone loves me, it's hard to disprove, I know, I know. But we're not here to talk about the Great Me. Instead, we're here to talk to YOU. So first of all

### Sitting Down With: Henry Avery

"You all know me, the King of Swing and the Avatar of the Airwaves. Everyone loves me, it's hard to disprove, I know, I know. But we're not here to talk about the Great Me. Instead, we're here to talk to YOU. So first of all, Captain Avery, can I call you Captain Avery? Captain Avery, Captain of the Everything Pirates and man worth a whopping $$277 million buckos, welcome to the show."

Cheering and clapping could be heard.

"Gihihihi! Thanks for having me on. I'm a big fan of the show. And you. Would you perhaps be interested in a lucritive career as a member of the Everything Pirates?"

A sad womp-womp on a trombone could be heard.

"Kekekekeke! Boy, pirates all over are wanting the Great Me to join their crew! I don't blame you, Captain Avery! Getting the King of Radio Swing would net you a massive following of my listeners; THE GREATEST LISTENERS ON THE GOD. DAMN. OCEANS!"

A tide of uproariously loud cheers was played.

"But I gotta say, I'm sorry Captain, but this Pirate Radio belongs to all pirates everywhere! I can't show preference to any one crew, even one as great as yours! But Henry, Captain Avery, as much as I love having you just gush about how amazing my show is, let's loop back around to you. Since the start of your career, you've been... kind of chasing the coattails of your old captain, Bruce Ramshackle, right? He was the first pirate you served under, but your first meeting with him was kind of... unqiue, right? Can you share with my listeners your memories on that?"

"Eh, it was worth a short..."

"Ah yes... Ramshackle... He was a great man. Not a particularly powerful one, but he was smart. Got us out of a lot of scrapes with stronger crews and even stronger marines. I wouldn't be nearly as crafty as I am because of him. Ya know, the first time I ever met him, I was trying to kill him. He visited my home island when I was a kid and ransacked the place. But that Ramshackle has a silver tongue. Convinced me to join his crew in just a few minutes."

A cheer of oooh's and aaahhh's could be heard in the background.

"Inspiring. Inspiring. So you could definitely say that, like most great pirates, that you found a call. Ramshackle convinced you to join up with his pirates. Did you start as an Apprentice Pirate, like yours truly, or did you have the power and self awareness to just dive into the deep end and pull your weight as a full crew member right off? Any stories you'd like to share of your first few months at sea?"

"I don't think I was ever technically a full-fledged member, but I was widely considered the strongest member of the crew. It helped that my skin was as strong as iron and I was physically stronger than most grown men by the time I was twelve. Although, brawn wasn't how you got promoted in that crew. It was intelligence. And I must admit, I was never really on par intellectually with my peers. Fortunately, I've done a lot of growing since I was kid."

### Sitting Down With: Arukana

"I'm Patrick Magna, and I approve this message."

"Do you have a runaway crew member? Thief stole your map? Asshole Marine hounding your every step? Send a message to Patrick Magna, and for a reasonable fee, you can have your problems disappeared. Don't take the law into your own hands, let Maggie take it into her hands for you. If you have a problem, throw it in the Magna and watch it burn away. Patrick Magna: Always a Good Decision."

"And we're back with our Sit Down with the Devil! Today, I, the wonderful, brilliant, handsome, and humble Radio Rocketeer, Reji, am sitting down with the ever present and artistically absconding scientist from that land far in the future, the First Mate of the Everything Pirates, and really just one of my very favorite people in the whole of the Grand Line, my boi, my mancrush, Arukana. Arukana, welcome to the show, glad to have you here."

Polite and reserved clapping.

"Hey, it's nice of you to have me on here. Didn't think I would be in such high praises of someone like yourself but it is great to hear some praise once in a while."

### Sitting Down With: Lussac Shiloh

"The Kingdom... of Umi. Come see our vivid nightlife, our mild climate, our beautiful royalty, and our rich and vibrant arts district. Umi: Where the adventure finds you."

"Bien vienu, power bottoms, to a Sit Down with the Devil! King Mon Reji here, and all you peasants open your ears, because today, we're interviewing the one... the only... the cowboy on the ocean who could even rival my own personal beauty. A man of many skills, styles, and fans, and number three on my 'Five Pirates I'd Declare War on the Government if they Offered to show me themselves Topless' List. Lussac Shiloh, first mate of MY ship, the S.S. Lovesunk, and Adventurer of the Everything Pirates. Welcome to the show, bae."

“Thank you, you’re too kind. You’ve really made me feel at home, I could almost take my shirt off. Though I’ll refrain, wouldn’t want you going into war in the middle of my interview.”

A cheering crowd could be heard roaring in the background, whooping and hollering.

"Alright, alright, calm down people, only I get to see it if he does, and those of you subscribed to my OnlyFlags Pirate Pornography channel, link at the end of the conversation. But speaking of war, it wouldn't be the first time that someone would go to war on behalf of a crewmate. As a crew member of the Everything Pirates, what would you say is your biggest contribution to the crew?"

"Hmmmmmm... I'd say my archaeological pursuits have been the most beneficial. It also helped me learn to also gather information for the crew as a whole. My efforts as a member have been well-rewarded. Avery made the captain of the crew's third ship, the Pleasure Crown."