Suction Cup Man

*"I'm Suction Cup Man, look at me go!"*
―Suction Cup Man[src]
**Suction Cup Man** is the main protagonist of the *Suction Cup Man* series. He is a young man who frequently climbs the tower of Guy Business, now only doing it on weekends. Suction Cup Man first appeared in *Suction Cup Man! (South Park Inspired Animation)*, and later in its remastered version, being shown in a new artstyle.

## History

### First Climb

*"For a guy in a suit, you're pretty fucking stupid!"*
―Suction Cup Man to Guy Business[src]

When climbing on Guy Business' tower for the first time, he confronted Guy Business himself as well. Guy Business says he should stop climbing his tower with suction cups, but Suction Cup Man denies and states he will keep climbing. In rage, Guy Business asks why he is climbing, his tower to which Suction Cup Man with a simple "why not". Guy Business dislikes how Suction Cup Man how he is smudging his windows, which Suction Cup Man doesn't care about, and tries to tell him to climb someone else's tower. Suction states with sarcasm that that sounds suggestive. After yelling at Suction Cup Man multiple times, Suction Cup Man gets asked what his name is. He replies with 'Suction Cup Man'. After getting another order to get off the tower, Suction Cup Man says he cant, saying he can only go up. Confused, Guy asks if he can turn around, to which Suction Cup Man replies he can't. Convinced it can't be that hard, Guy tells Suction Cup Man to wait a minute as Guy brings some plungers.

Suction Cup Man sees Guy return with two plungers, as he is about to reach Suction Cup Man with them. He tries to convince Guy that he is going to kill himself, but Guy doesn't listen and jumps. As Guy falls, Suction Cup Man tells him that he is very stupid for a man in a suit. Instantly crashing into a police car, a Police Officer pulls out his megaphone, yelling that Suction Cup Man needs to come down. Suction Cup Man stays in denial of coming down and tells the officer that he wrote him a short, vulgar song, which he sang to him. He tells another cop to take Suction Cup Man down, which the cop did. After falling on the ground, Suction Cup Man uses his immortality and runs away, saying that you can't kill Suction Cup Man.

### Working for the U.S.

*"Fuck yeah! Let's start World War III!"*
―Suction Cup Man[src]
A week later, Suction Cup Man got kidnapped for an operation at a Secret U.S. Military Base. Suction Cup Man questions his kidnapping to the guards, telling them he will get out of the base. He sits back down on his chair as the former U.S. president Donald Trump enters the room. He tells Suction Cup Man that he has done a lot of bad with his suction cups, but thinks that these suction cups can be capable of good and informs Suction Cup Man that there is a missile in North Korea that he needs to stop from launching to America. Suction Cup Man excitedly agrees to help Trump.

Later, at a Secret North Korean Missile Base, Kim Jong-Un finds out that Suction Cup Man is climbing his missile. Kim Jong-un is angered that he is delaying his plans to bomb America, commanding Suction Cup Man to not disarm the missile. Like usual, Suction Cup Man doesn't care does what he must do. Kim warns him that he is the leader of his country and that he will have Suction Cup Man's head on a stick if he doesn't get off the missile, but Suction Cup Man simply interrupts him playing one of his songs he wrote. Being ordered to get off the missile again, Suction Cup Man tells him that he can't start another war again and that he is hired by the American government. Completely angered, Kim Jong-un goes to the control pad to launch the missile, which he does. Suction Cup Man rushes to complete his job as he crashes down back to North Korea. Presuming Suction Cup Man is dead, Kim has a monologue about how he and his country is going to go against America before looking up in the air and noticing Suction Cup Man returning with a parachute, signing how Kim's a bitch. Suction Cup Man then simply leaves, visiting Guy Business in the hospital later on.

### Going to Hell

*"Go to hell!"
"Trust me, I'm way ahead of you."*
―Guy Business and Suction Cup Man[src]
Climbing Guy Business' tower once again, Suction Cup Man laughs at Guy Business' new product that will supposedly get rid of Suction Cup Man forever. He shoots Suction Cup Man with his product, causing him to slip. He opens his parachute, unknowing that he is headed towards the highway. He crashes between two cars and 'dies' in a fire.

In Hell, Suction Cup Man enters through a portal, landing on a flat surface. He awakens and looks around Hell before meeting Satan. Satan welcomes Suction Cup Man to Hell as Suction Cup Man is in shock (calling out names like God and Jesus). Satan becomes annoyed by this, but continues his monologue. Suction Cup Man interrupts it, questioning the portal he came through. Satan explains it is the gateway to Hell. Another man then falls through it and sees Satan before running away in fear. Suction Cup Man asks what would happen if he would go back through it, Satan laughs, stating that no one can return back to the world of the living and that he is not supposed to do so. Suction Cup Man later says that Satan looks like a ketchup bottle, which heavily insults him. Satan and Suction Cup Man then start an argument over who is the most fucked. Suction Cup Man eventually wins the argument. After Satan says they should call it even between them, Suction Cup Man thinks they are teaming up, writing a friendship song. Satan blasts away his guitar with his laser bolts, but Suction Cup Man takes another and sings his song as he escapes Hell.

Back in the 'world of the living', Suction Cup Man revives himself as a team of the Vertiburg Police Department investigates the scene. As the officers are struck with fear, Guy Business (who is also being interviewed by Paul Ease) swears as he sees the now alive Suction Cup Man. Suction Cup Man approaches Officer Paul Ease and Guy Business, trying to tell the cop that Guy should be arrested of attempted murder. As the policeman knows Suction Cup Man well, he states that the department will not do what Suction Cup Man asks, which he finds fair. After he asks if he should come back on the same day next week, Guy Business tells him to go to Hell. Suction Cup Man jokingly says he is way ahead of him. Guy Business then uses the same water gun as before to spray the product in his face, causing Suction Cup Man to call Guy a dick as a result.

### Getting Sued by Guy Business

*"I got sued by a guy that sells plungers!"
"Okay?"
"The judge said I was banned from owning any climbing grade suction cups, and that's bullshit!"*
―Suction Cup Man and Gina[src]
In a court case, Suction Cup Man is finally being sued by Guy Business for climbing his tower every day. As a result of being very annoying in the court, Suction Cup Man is banned from any climbing grade suction cups, getting his suction cups taken away, including the dozens of cups stored in his house. Trying to convince a Repo guy he is Climb Magazine's climber of the year, Suction Cup Man hands the magazine over to the Repo guy, which just has printed middle fingers on its pages. The man angrily leaves with the suction cups.

Later, after searching how to climb without suction cups on Booble, Suction Cup Man tries out various alternatives to climbing Guy Business' tower: a grappling hook (which cannot attach to anything), a ladder (which works but is not tall enough to scale the whole tower), a vacuum cleaner (which works for a bit, but ultimately fails when the wire disconnects from the power box), duct tape (which just smudges the windows), glue (which works, but gets him stuck to the tower, forcing him to rip off his palms to get off), and pickaxes (which just break the windows). He later sits on a bench, facing the sunset. A man sits next to him, telling him how some people do not achieve their purpose in life, and how Suction Cup Man has, before noting that Suction Cup Man has lost that purpose. He leaves as Suction Cup Man is now depressed.

In a sex store, Suction Cup Man wants to buy a rope to turn it into a noose, planning suicide. Gina, the clerk at the store, asks if he is okay. Suction Cup Man then breaks into sadness, explaining how the law has taken everything away from him. Gina pats him and tells him she has a catalog specialized for Suction Cup Man.

Meanwhile, at his tower, Guy Business hears strange sounds and searches his office for said noise. He later stares out the window, seeing Suction Cup Man climbing the tower with a set of dildos as replacement of suction cups before proclaiming that he is Penis Man. Suction Cup Man annoys Guy Business as he classically does, writing a song and all. Penny, a colleague of Guy Business, comes to investigate what is happening. Guy Business tells her it's nothing, accidentally calling her name as "Penis" instead of Penny. Penny then sees Suction Cup Man on the window and immediately becomes confused. Officer Paul Ease and his partner come into the area after hearing all the screams. Guy Business tries to tell them that Suction Cup Man is not following the legal rules he has gotten; however, as dildos are not climbing grade, Paul Ease is confident that there is no problem, naming the situation as wacky. Regardless, Guy Business threatens to take Suction Cup Man back to court with the means to ban him from using any suction cups forever. Suction Cup Man finds him a fool and gives a speech that he will climb the tower in any way he can. Guy Business says he just wants him off his tower, so Suction Cup Man asks him if he wants him climbing with cups or cocks. Guy Business finally comes to the agreement to let Suction Cup Man climb his tower, but only on weekends. Suction Cup Man agrees and floats away with his parachute. Penny, still bewildered, asks what just has happened.

Back at his house, Suction Cup Man retrieves his suction cups from the repo company. As the house is already stacked full with dildos, Suction Cup Man tells them to leave it outside as he will get rid of the cocks. Guy Business enters his office and sees the pool of dildos in said office. He simply shuts the door.

### Non-canonical biography

*Main article: Non-canonical biographies*

#### Finding the Omega Suction Cups

*"Untold sucking power hides behind that glass, I'm taking them, you stupid ass!"*
―Suction Cup Man to Wizard[src]

After climbing an unknown Castle, Suction Cup Man has found the Omega Suction cups. He opens the window, and the window shatters, awaking the Wizard that guards the magical suction cups. After coming inside, Suction Cup Man gets frozen by a spell. The wizard unleashes another spell that, accidentally, turns him into a plushie. Suction Cup Man enters the real world as the wizard tries to figure out a cure. Michael Pitts presents the new Suction Cup Man plushie as a part of the series' merchandise. Suction Cup Man gets brutally tortured as he is the presentation of the plush. He returns to the fictional world after slipping out of Mike's hand, and is now cured. He demands the suction cups, but gets turned into a plush once again instead.

## Personality

Suction Cup Man is a very annoying person, as it is mind-blowing how many people he has irritated. He owes his life to suction cups and climbing, as if he wouldn't, he'd stumble himself into a depression. Suction Cup Man seems to enjoy being infuriating, being that multiple times in any situation.

## Powers and Abilities

### Powers

* **Immortality**: As he himself states, Suction Cup Man cannot die. It is shown in *Suction Cup Man! (South Park Inspired Animation)*, *Suction Cup Man (Remastered)* and *Suction Cup Man 3: One Hell of A Climb* that he is immune to death (as he even revives all by himself in the third installment).

### Abilities

* **Master Climber**: Suction Cup Man can practically climb any building, primarily with suction cups.
* **Master Composer**: Suction Cup Man is not only a good singer to his songs, but also writes said songs.

## Relationships

### Allies

* Donald Trump
* Gina

### Enemies

* Guy Business
* Vertiburg Police Department
	+ Paul Ease
* Satan
* North-Korea
	+ Kim Jong-Un
* Oops We Took Your Shit
	+ Repo Guy
* Vertiburg Court
	+ Judge Carter

## Trivia

* Suction Cup Man is heavily based on Stephen Rogata, as the incident of the climbing on the Trump Tower occurred, which the entire series is also based on.
* Suction Cup Man is mainly enemies with Guy Business.
* Suction Cup Man's voice changes excessively if he is depressed.
* Suction Cup Man's home is located next to a farm.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 *Suction Cup Man 4: Business or Pleasure*
2. ↑ *Suction Cup Man! (South Park Inspired Animation)*
3. ↑ *Suction Cup Man (Remastered)*
4. ↑ *Suction Cup Man 2: The Suck for America*
5. ↑ *Suction Cup Man 3: One Hell of a Climb*
6. ↑ *Suction Cup Man: The PLUSHIE*