Christmas!

"*If there's one thing I know about Santa Claus, it's that he sees you when you sleep. And I definitely see this guy sleeping.*"
―Erik
Christmas! is the 79th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on December 30, 2017.

## Summary

Erik introduces a lesson on Christmas while dressed as Santa Claus. Then he watches a guy on YouNow while he's sleeping.

Erik decides to learn more about Santa Claus so he watches a video explaining that Santa Claus is actually a demon. He does more research on this and finds a smart person video, but the comments don't respect the hard work and research that it took to make the video. Erik concludes that Santa Claus is just a Coca-Cola ad.

His favorite Christmases are ones with snow, but then he finds out that snow isn't actually snow. But it turns out that that's so stupid that even Mark Dice can figure that out. Erik asks Mark to cease your investigations so his commenters will stop calling him Illuminati. Then he leaves Mark a comment to make him feel better.

Finally, Erik looks into the War on Christmas. He tries to watch an Alex Jones video but he just finds Paul Joseph Watson. Watson and Jones make some Islamophobic comments and complain about the secularization of Christmas. Erik leaves a British comment, and then he checks in on his sleepy little boy.

## Comments

*oh yeah sleep for me**give santa a little snore**sleepy little snoozebear**i wish my wife would sleep like this*
- Erik

*FOR TWO THOUSAND YEARS I, SANTA CLAUS, RULED OVER THE MINDS OF THE WEAK, TORMENTING THEM INTO BUYING GIFTS FOR EACH OTHER AS THEY WORSHIPPED MY IMAGE, THUS GRANTING ME POWER RIVALING THAT OF A GOD. TWO THOUSAND YEARS, ONLY TO HAVE SOME INTERNET YOUTUBE CHANNEL REVEAL MY SECRETS TO THE WORLD. YES, I AM THE DEMON IN THE NORTH AND I WILL HAVE MY DAY IN THE SUN BATHED IN THE BLOOD OF THE FALSE WORSHIPERS WHO HAVE SUCCUMBED TO
MY INFLUENCE. THIS CHRISTMAS, LEAVE NO COOKIES FOR YOUR FAVORITE CHIMNEY CRAWLING INTRUDER. INSTEAD, I SHALL FEAST UPON YOUR TARNISHED SOULS AND
WASH THEM DOWN WITH A GLASS OF THE BLOOD-RAIN THAT HERALDS MY ARRIVAL. SNAKES, AWAY!**Sincerely,
Santa*
- Erik

*Yo great vid man I popped eight nuts into a cigar box to this before wrapping it up like a present and hurling that whole mess down my neighbor's chimney. Definitely beats the gift I got him last year, which was just a picture of my dogs asshole stuffed inside a letter from the IRS so that he'd open it right away. But charity aside I really appreciate you taking the time to teach the world about Santa Claus so people can come in here and comment about all the shit you forgot to mention, like the fact that Mrs. Claus is just a beard and Santa pays her mad Tom Cruise money to not tell anyone about the revolving door of tiny elven twinks coming through his workshop at all hours of the night.**Hey no judgement though, “live and let live" is my motto. It's just too bad I adopted that motto AFTER I adopted all those kids from China or else I wouldn't have been givin my backyard the gift of eight tiny graves that one Christmas. Okay guys don't forget coca cola is for pussies Jill Stein 2020**Sincerely,
Bill Pepsi*
- Erik

*Heyo Mark don't listen to these pricks, I'm with you man. You're wrong like 99.9% of the time on just about everything, and your stupid fake laugh makes me want to buttchug bleach until my insides are whiter than the Klan hood in your closet, but hey you're totally right on this one. Though I sometimes pray for dementia so I can forget about all the dumb shit I've seen you post on this website, I gotta say this video is spot on brother! And by brother I mean weird uncle that's not invited to the family christmas party anymore because he keeps putting Ron Paul ornaments on the tree and complaining about liberal college snowflakes.**Speaking of snowflakes, my backyard is covered in like three feet of illuminati plastic heaven powder and I'm wondering what would happen if I shot a flare into the middle of it? I'm sure if you had to guess you'd say the resulting fake snow inferno would light into a pentagram as Baphomet emerges from the center in the form of a Beyonce concert. In conclusion, keep doing what you're doing and I hope you get the meds you need this
Kwanzaa.**Sincerely,
Bill Pepsi*
- Erik

*Oi mate big PJ Watson supporter here n I had no idea they was fookin with me christmas times! I love me some christmas and anyone who doesn't christmas can garble me bollocks! How dare they undermine christmas culture these bloody muslims and people with parentheses around their names and god save the queen and what have ya.**Wish I could share a pint with this fella he's got a right good head on his shoulder, speaking of right good head I was getting knackered by me ladybird the other day and she tried to tell me there's nothing wrong with wishing happy holidays! "Happpy HOOLIDAYS?!" I said. Well you can put your bottom dollar on a trolley track that I sorted her out I did, kicked that trollop right out me window and onto the kabob man below me flat.**Anyways this bloke's name should be Paul Joseph SHERLOCK because he's investigating all kinds of mangy shite that nobody else is gobbin about these days unless you count the thousands of cunts just like him spoutin the same waffle because angry xenophobic nationalists thought their way of thinking died in the last plague, but thankfully we've got guvna's like him to keep everyone mad at brown people and thinking that anyone actually
gives a fuck whether or not you say merry christmas, so chip chip cheerio and you can tiddlywink me plunge hole with a boof bag of Alex Jones cock pills that have so much lead in em that Lex Luthor wants to hide his secret supervillain plans in me colon so's Superman can't see what he's up to! That's a little Yankee joke I picked up from me trip to the states when I served as a character witness in Alex Jones' custody battle, for all the
good THAT did hahahaha*
- Erik

*do you do private shows?**WAIT**ill pay you**just gimme one lil snore**IM STILL WATCHING YOU*
- Erik

*go point that webcam at the bed and take a nap and we'll find out*
- Erik

## Context

1. ↑ Tiddlywinks is a British sport. Erik learned about it in Strange Sports
2. ↑ Superman's x-ray vision doesn't work on lead. Alex Jones' dick pills have put so much lead in Erik's system that anything Lex Luthor puts in his body is safe from Superman.

## Video

```

```