recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Gharr

Quite handy with tools and technology, Gharr works as the resident repairman for the Honoriam Hospice. A bit of a genius when it comes to machinery, Gharr is tasked with fixing any sort of broken down appliances or machinery. When everything is running smoothly, and given the load on the generators that's a very rare occasion, Revain asks his assistance in engineering funky designs and machines for the doctor's business. Given Gharr's size, his appetite is a deep one, and he can stuff himself with a heavy supply of food. However, he has taken it upon himself to avoid eating live prey wherever he can.

## Prey

*Gharr cannot become prey to any character*

## Predator

Gharr can devour the player, if the player happens to annoy the crocodile through little things such as pointless talk and wanton predation. Though Gharr is against the concept of willing prey, his carnivorous instincts can win over his inhibitions. In addition, if the player winds up getting between Gharr and his meal, they just might be a side helping without Gharr even noticing. Lastly, as a reptilian, Gharr is susceptible to the hallucinatory hunger effects of Ironwood fruit.

Gharr can double as a convenient means of disposing of Thomas, ridding the hospice of his shenanigans.
(Don't) Do Cocaine About It

"Another big cult is the topic of discussion this week and boy is there a lot to cover so strap in. Ever wonder who the Moonies are or the multiple names for the Unification Church? How did one man create not only such a large religious force but also claim so much political influence in America? The story starts around 30 minute."

## Unification Movement

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Cult

The Unification Movement, called the Moonies after it's founder Sun Myung Moon, is a cult native to South Korea. Moon was captive in a prison camp run by the communist faction of the country. Around the time of his escape he claimed to be visited by Jesus who explained that Adam had failed in God's plan by sleeping with Eve after she had slept with the Devil. Jesus was the second Adam, but failed to father children before he was crucified. Moon was to be the third Adam.

The Unification Movement was very concerned with marriage and sex within the confines of such. They arranged mass weddings on the grounds that being part of the true family was the only way to get to Heaven.

Moon was politically conservative and staunchly anti-Communist, not entirely surprising giving his life experience. He used this find allies in the United States. He moved there and founded the Washington Times.

After the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991, Moon lost a lot of his influence. After his death, his wife stopped her activities in the US and returned her focus to Korea.
Synagogue of Satan in Scenic Bisley

"Welcome to episode 57 where you can learn about the questionable gender of one of England's former monarchs and how Jews are trying to get you high (but like maliciously somehow)."

## Queen Elizabeth was a Man

### Presented by: Cristina

Category: Historical Mystery

There have only been two Queens Elizabeths of England. This is the story of the first one.

Queen Elizabeth I was the daughter of Henry VIII and she had the misfortune of living in England during the bubonic plague. Fearing for her safety, she was set to the country to live with her governess and her guardian.

She didn't die of the plague, but if you believe in conspiracy theories, she did die of something else. Given that Henry VIII was pretty beheading-happy, her guardians decided to keep this a secret until they decided what to do. When Henry VIII sent word that he was coming for a visit, they ran out of time.

Rather than admit that they let his daughter die, they picked a boy named Neville who sort of looked like her and who had been her friend to dress up like her and pretend to be the princess.

The theory came about to explain some perceived-weirdness of her life. She wore high necklines and, called the Virgin Queen, she never married and never had kids. She also said, just before her death, forbid an autopsy.

Takeaway: Some women don't want to marry.

## The Pot Plot

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Conspiracy

The Pot Plot, according to Wesley Muhammad, is an off-shoot conspiracy related to MKULTRA perpetrated by the CIA and funded but Jewish elite against African-Americans. He also blames them for the slave trade, the KKK and 9/11.
Take Your Meds!

"Cristina talks about a mysterious disappearance in Florida and then Chelsea tells us about the Hopkinsville Goblins (and then some!)"

## The Disappearance of Diane Augat

### Presented by: Cristina

Category: Disappearance

In 1998, Diane Augat left her family home in Florida and was never seen by her family again. A few days later, she was seen walking down the highway. The day after that, a severed finger tip was found near where she’d been last seen that was identified as hers. There was some discrepancy between the nail polish she was known to be wearing and the color reported on the finger, though that could be down to reporting.

Her mother received a call from her daughter, in which she heard Dianna screaming and the sounds of a struggle.

Shortly after, a bag with items-included neatly folded clothes-believed to be hers was found in an icebox of a nearby store. This connects the case to the disappearance of a truck driver whose things were also found neatly folded in a location not far from his disappearance.

Sometime later, after the case went cold, Dianna’s sister-in-law found a similar bag in a public location. This was either planted by someone who knew the family’s movements or by the family themselves to renew interest in the case.

Takeaway: Don’t go to Florida.

## The Hopskinville Goblins

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Conspiracy, Extraterrestrial

The Hopskinville Goblins is legendary in UFO circles, where a family in rural Kentucky in the 1950s saw a UFO streak across the sky and go into a shootout with strange silver aliens, later determined to be owls. However, as unlikely as it seems, that’s only half the story.

In 2015, a defunct ghost hunter group got an email dscribign similar creatures by a man who lived in the area. Having been harassed by them, he had gotten know help from the police and had reached out to the group after tracking the creatures to an abandonned mine shaft. He offered the chance to get proof of aliens in exchange for help destroying the mines. The group intially ignored the email, but got a followd up and eventually decided to visit. Chelsea, at the time of recording, had no details of the trip.

Takeaway: Don’t blow up mine shafts.
It's ART, Mom, You Wouldn't Understand

“Chelsea busts out another mysterious internet code in the form of a creepy viral video, and Cristina talks about the most ridiculous secret club of all time.”

11b-x-1371

Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Conspiracy

11b-x-1371 is a video that surfaced in 2015 when ift was mailed to a tech magazine in Sweden. Black and white and two minutes long, it features disturbing imagery, such as a man in a plague doctor mask, stills from a horror movie and images of one of the victims of the Boston strangler.

Investigation began into the video, leading to several clues, real or imagined, littered throughout the video. Graffiti visible in the shot located the filming location as an abandoned mental facility in Poland. Code in the binary was translated to “you have one year or less” and Morse code was found that read, “RED LIPS LIKE TENTH” which some took to be an anagram of “KILL THE PRESIDENT”.

Some believed that the video was meant as a threat against then-president Barack Obama, while others took it to be a marketing ploy. However, later that same year, a man using the alias Parker Warner Wright took credit for the video and granted an interview to prove it. He said that video was nothing more than art. He created more videos, though it’s been some time since a new installment has been released.

Takeaway: Sometimes, it’s not a conspiracy.

The Hellfire Club

Presented by: Cristina

Category: Cult, Ghost

While the Hellfire Club is a name given to many secret societies, the most famous club to hold that title was founded by Sir Francis Dashwood in 1752.

Sir Francis had been a known prankster in his youth until he heard two cats fighting outside one night and became convinced it was a demon coming to get him for his sins. He became born again and devoted himself to the Church until he learned his tutor had been telling people the truth and laughing behind his back.

He began the club as a mockery of Christianity. Every meeting from the second on was held in an abbey. In it, guests would dress like priests and nuns, hold mock services and participate in orgies. They had a mascot in the form of a baboon that they dressed like a member of the clergy.

The club ended in the 1760s when Dashwood became prime minister and was forced to resign for taxing booze, John Wilkes (another member) was exiled when his erotica poetry was read in parliment. The grounds of the old abbey, which at the time of the recording was on the market for $13,000,000, is said to be haunted by the ghost of a third member.

Trivia

* Chelsea did not watch the video because she thought it was creepy. If you’re harder than Chelsea, you can watch it here.
Two Plagues And A Haunting

"This week Chelsea tells us of the island of Poveglia off the coast of Italy. You could say the wine is to die for. For sure on our list of haunted places to visit. Cristina Brings us info on the Oakville Jelly incident. Whatever the true case may be we are for sure in for a Jamming good time."

## Povelgia

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Ghost

Povelgia is an island off the coast of Italy. Over the years, it's had a varied group of inhabitants in it's long history, including an order of monks, supported by a noble called a doge, as well as military forts and later a customs station for imports.

In the late 1700s, it became a quarantine island for people suffering from the bubonic plague. In many cases, the people who were sent there didn't have the plague, but that's ok, because they always contracted the disease shortly after arrival. In served in this capacity until 1814.

In 1922, it was converted into a mental facility and would remain that way until 1968. In the 1930s, a doctor was rumored to perform lobotomies on patient and conduct "experiments" on them. He eventually fell from the old bell tower built by the monks. In some stories this was suicide, in others he was pushed by patients.

The island stands abandoned today and it's illegal to go there unless you go through channels. Fisherman avoid fishing too close to Povelgia for fear of ghosts, although the fact that they sometimes fish up human remains probably has more to do with it. Locals say they can hear the bell ringing at night and believe that it's the ghost of the doctor.

Takeaway: Don't torture people on me.

## Oakville Jelly Incident

### Presented by: Cristina

Category: Conspiracy

Oakville is a city in Washington. One night in August in 1994, it started raining. This is not a terribly unusual occurrence in Washington, except it was raining a clear, jellylike substance. It was linked to several illness over the following days, including the deaths of several pets. It was claimed they everyone in town came down with a flu that lasted for months.

Samples were taken and sent for testing. One test concluded that it was human white blood cells. Another concluded that it contained bacteria found in human digestive tracts. The "official" study reported that it was eukaryotic cells.

Several theories exist as to it's origin:

* Jelly fish
* Algae
* Waste from a plane (such waste is required to be died blue)

The most popular theory is that it was some sort of biological weapon. Citizens of Oaksville reported seeing military craft in the area near-constantly at the time of the rain. There were bomb tests in the area at that time, but the military denies knowledge of the jelly. People who support this theory are undecided whether it was a deliberate test on U.S. citizens or if was a covered up accident.

Takeaway: Take more samples.
Who Put Bella In Cowboy Times?

"This week Chelsea tells us a tale of possible espionage. Who put Bella in the witch elm is a serious question we ask today. Meanwhile Cristina takes us back into Cowboy Times! The tales of the Superstition Mountains and the Lost Dutchmen's Mine have a lot of history

## Who Put Bella in the Witch Elm

### Presented By: Chelsea

Category: Unsolved Murder

In 1943, four boys in Worcestershire were trespassing on a neighbor's estate in Hagley Wood when they found a human body stuffed in a tree, specifically Witch Hazel. They made a vow to never speak of it for fear of getting in trouble. That night, the youngest of them broke and told his parents.

The investigation determined that body was that of a young woman who had been in the tree from anywhere from 18 and 26 months. From the rigor mortis, she must have been put in the tree when her body was still warm. She was found with a shoe some torn fabric and a taffeta in her mouth. Her hand was found in the area. However, despite a skull with hair and teeth, there were too many missing women at the time to identify her.

The following year, graffiti reading *Who put Bella down the Wych Elm – Hagley Wood* appeared in Birmingham. This has since been modified to "Who put Bella in the Witch Elm?"

The most popular theory is that Bella was a German spy, given that it was during World War II. At one point, Bella was identified as Clara Bauerle, a German singer. However, she was a full foot taller than Bella and was determined to have died in Germany a year earlier than Bella. She is still believed by most to have been a spy, though her identity remains unknown.

Takeaway: Know your trees.

## The Lost Dutchman

### Presented by: Cristina

Category: Historical Mystery

The Lost Dutchman is mine alleged to be somewhere in the superstition mountains somewhere in the Superstition Mountains in Arizona. The legends around it are varied, but it's thought to have belonged to the Peralta family after being gifted it by the King of Spain. The story was told by the fictional Dr. Thorne, who claimed to have been led to it, blindfolded, by an Apache man he healed.

The story rose to legendary status when a man called Adolph Ruth went looking for it in 1931 and was found dead the following year. Despite the fact that his skulls had two bullet holes in it and his gun fully loaded, the police ruled it to be due to natural causes. His notebook was found, in which he claimed to have found the mine.

Since then, more people have searched for the mine, with many of them reporting mysterious gun men tracing them. These stories have not discourage everyone from looking.

Takeaway: Don't go treasure hunting alone.
Mothman, There's No Need To Be Down

"In which Chelsea talks about the conspiracy that Avril Lavigne is dead and Cristina talks about a cryptid in the Chicago area that may or may not be Mothman."

## Avril Lavigne is Dead

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Conspiracy

**Content warning: Mentions of suicide.**

Much like Paul McCartney, both before and after her, there is a subset of fans who believe Avril Lavigne is dead. The story goes that, shortly after her releasing her first album in 2002, her grandfather, whom she'd been very close to passed away. She is said to have fallen into a deep depression and killed herself as she was beginning work on her second album.

Either her family or her records producers or both decided they still wanted to make money of her success and groomed a lookalike, possibly her publicity double, named Melissa to take on the roll and carry on her career. They point the fact that she used to wear pants and now likes dresses, pimples on her face, the alleged idea that "Girlfriend" is radically different from "Sk8r Boi" and lyrics as proof.

The theory was eventually revealed to be a deliberate hoax that got out of hand, as always happens, and Lavigne has had to deal with fans asking about it ever since.

Takeaway: Don't question celebrities about conspiracies. Don't assume you know anything about anyone's mental health.

## Mothman in Chicago

### Presented By: Cristina

Category: Cryptid

While the stacked and caked cryptid known as Mothman is associated with West Virginia in the 1960s, the creature continues to be sighted throughout the world today. More recently, in Chicago, IL.

There were over 50 sightings in the city in 2017 alone, but sightings had been going on for sometime. The creature is described the same as always. Mothman stands 6 feet tall with dark fur, glowing red eyes and a 10-foot wingspan. The big variation is that some of the sightings in this spree described the creature as having red wings.

Notable sightings include two roommates who saw the creature in 2011 in peeping in through their window of their fifth floor apartment. The witnesses felt like they were prey. In 2017 a woman walking her dog in the park also saw the creature, who characterized it as being like bird person from *Rick and Morty* with bat-like wings. She was too scared to take a picture. Three couples that same year saw it over Lake Michigan. Another group saw it shortly there after.

The usual explanations of birds are put forward, failing to take into account that no living bird gets that tall and few have a 10-foot wingspan.

Takeaway: Mothman only wants to be your friend.
Harness The Screams

"This week Chelsea finishes her five part series on QAnon! Now after the election and with Joe Biden being nominated President Elect lets discuss the sudden silence of Q and the full ramifications that have been brought upon this country. Stay safe out there friends and wear a mask."

## QAnon: Part 2

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Conspiracy

A follow up to Q Clearance.

The first half of the episode explores the similarities between QAnon and other Alternate Reality Games. Q followers are encouraged to ignore reality in favor of the mystery. Q drops posts with vague warnings and instructions that mimic puzzles in ARGs. Communities form with people trying to solve them. There are enough similarities that it's believed Q, the current, worked on an ARG before.

The second half looks at Q post election. At the time of the recording, Q had gone silent. This has led to a split in Q. Some have become disillusioned and left the movement. Most, however, now belong to two camps. One believe that this all part of the plan. The other believes that this is the "deep state" fighting back.

The victory of Joe Biden does not mean that Q had no victories. At least one QAnon follower has been elected to congress.

While classified as a conspiracy, Q has morphed into a cult and like cults, it has real world consequences. People have been killed and parents have kidnapped their children following the beliefs of the movement.

Takeaway: If you know Q followers, cut them out.
Teabagging For Freedom

"Lets spill some hot tea! Let's discuss how the Tea Party really have set the stage for the last decade of Right wing politics in this country. Another episode in the line leading up to Chelsea's part two of QAnon. Remember get out there and vote!"

## The Tea Party

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Cult

The Tea Party, officially launched in 2009, pretended to be a grassroots movement towards conservatism. And while some did come to the group that way, in reality they were created and funded by the Koch brothers as a way of pulling the Republican party to the right.

Ostensibly, they started protesting high taxes and grew do to dissatisfaction over Obama's policies after at best a few months. The promoted racism, both in their rhetoric against the president and their fear of Mexicans. One of their major platforms was to build a wall on the southern border, a cause taken up by the president form Florida. His failure to do so was a major factor in the 2018 midterms.

The Tea Party movement played an important part to getting current politicians such as Mitch McConnell elected and into power. Mitch McConnell famously blocked much of what the Democrats supported and failed to prevent Republican abuses.

Takeaway: Midterms are important.
Trait Positive Goth

"Lets learn about one of the original Web series on YouTube. LonelyGirl15 had a huge following at its time and had many worried that a cult group was at play. But there is a twist so listen in during these tough times."

## Fake Cults

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Cult

In this episode, Chelsea does a round up of two fake cults that fooled the FBI.

The first is the Church of the Hammer, which first appeared on the FBI's radar in 2005. The Church of the Hammer was a website that posted many articles in the vein of right-wing religious extremists. The file was closed in 2007, more than two years later, when somebody checked the website and realized it was satire.

The second is the story of lonelygirl15. These days, most people know the lonelygirl15 as a fictional webseries involve a girl caught up in an unnamed cult. However, launched a little over a year after YouTube, it was the first of it's kind and many people believed it was real until it was revealed to be scripted.

Takeaway: Make sure the cult you're worried about is real.
Q Clearance

"Chelsea this week starts us off with Pizzagate and the grand implications. This leads into Cristina's upcoming knowledge. Did someone say Jeffrey Epstein?"

## Pizzagate

### Presented By: Chelsea

Category: Conspiracy

This is the story of the worst typo in history. In 2016, Hillary Clinton's campaign manager had his email account hacked after receiving a phishing email. He forwarded it to a colleague who replied, "It's legitimate" instead of, "It's not legitimate."

The emails were posted to Wikileaks where they garnered the attention of 4Chan who created conspiracies about a secret child trafficking ring inside the basement of a pizzeria in Washington, D.C. Long known as the worst place on the internet (at least without venturing on to the Deep Web), the rumors escaped to the internet at large where people took them at face value to terrible consequences.

On December 4th of that year, a man entered the pizzeria and held it up while he investigated. Shots were fired, though thankfully no one was injured. The man discovered there was no basement and, realizing he'd been duped, surrendered to the police.

Pizzagate is considered instrumental in the election of the 45th president and spawned the QAnon movement, which has overtaken public discourse.

Takeaway: Proofread your emails.
Schrödinger's Child At Your Local Cult Deli

"Chelsea talks about a child who either was or wasn't found and Cristina hops on the train to Bummersville to tell you about the 12 Tribes and how they could be IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD!"

## Bobby Dunbar

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Disappearance

In 1912, the Dunbar family went on a lake trip to Louisiana. While on the trip, their son Bobby disappeared. An 8 month search for the boy began.

In 1913, a repair recognized the son of a woman we was doing work for as matching the description of Bobby Dunbar. The authorities were called and took Bruce Anderson, son of Julia Anderson, to the Dunbars. The Lessie Dunbar identified the boy as her son and the police looked no further. The Dunbars were rich and Anderson was not.

Julia fought in court and lost, but was able to restart her life, get married and have more kids.

In 2004, it was proven by DNA testing that Bruce was not the real Bobby, who is now believed to have been eating by alligators.

## 12 Tribes

### Presented by: Cristina

Category: Cult

The 12 Tribes is yet another cult that grew up in America in the 1970s. They are, as could be expected, based on Christianity (for the purposes of cults like this, this means the Old Testament and the Book of Revelation). They believe that all over sects are actively trying to prevent the second of coming of Jesus (whom they call Yashua). The 12 Tribes is trying to bring him back by reconstructing the 12 Tribes of Israel (hence the name).

Despite focusing mostly on the Old Testament, they believe the Jewish people are evil for their part of in the death of Jesus. They have been investigated for breaking child labor laws and their homeschooling practices. They have also attracted the attention of cult-deprograming groups.

The 12 Tribes still exists today. They run the Yellow Deli chain. If you've eaten there, you've had a Cult Happy Meal.
All Wolves Go to Heaven

"Hey did you know you can fit so many werewolves in France? Lets meet Old Thiess of Kaltenbrun. An 87 year old man who needed to testify in court who well just maybe was a werewolf. But how did he become one you ask? Tune in to find out."

## Thiess of Katelbrun

### Presented by: Cristina

Category: Historical Mystery

Thiess of Katelbrun was an old man living in modern day Estonia when he was called as witness in 1691. As an aside in the trial, the judge asked him about his time as a werewolf. Thiess explained that he and his werewolf friends would travel down to Hell once a year in the their wolf form to fight the devil and his army of witches to take back the grain they had stolen and to ensure a good harvest. He cited a previous trial were he accused a farm of breaking his nose as wound from one such fight. The judges confirmed that his nose had been broken but didn't take the claim seriously, in part because Thiess kept changing his story. He claimed to have been retired but that he had fought the year before. He also at first claimed there was a pelt that allowed him to change before he'd given it away, but said there was no pelt when asked who he gave it too.

A year later he was put on trial for heresy. He still wasn't believed to be a werewolf, but was convicted and flogged for not mentioning God in a prayer he used.

This story was localized until an academic at a conference spoke of it as example of the, he believed, widespread belief that the region was full of were wolves. However, in trying to disprove it, he guaranteed the audience, who'd never heard such a tale, would think of nothing else.

Takeaway: Get your story straight. Don't go too hard in your defence.

## Trivia

* Patreon skit: The tiers as the 10 Commandments.
Florida Man From Self Isolation

"Finally we discuss the most feared and influential american cryptid known to humans. Listen to the tale of how this creature was born and its influence. Also never use a gator as a weapon."

## Florida Man

### Presented by: Cristina

Category: Cryptid

Florida Man is a cryptid native to the allegedly real United States state. He is best known for appearing in national and even international news in sensational headlines describing his adventures.

The first widespread account was, "Florida Man Arrested For Pocket Dialing 911", posted to Twitter. This was just the beginning on his infamy. Another seminal story in the saga was a Zombie attack by a Florida Man, presumed to be high on bath salts.

The question becomes, why Florida? It is the subject of a chicken and the egg scenario. Is, as Cristina puts, only Florida capable of producing an entity like Florida Man or is Florida Man the reason we think of Florida as being barely real?

One theory is that Florida has specific Freedom of Information acts that makes police activity in the opening. However, Nebraska, Ohio and Vermont all have similar laws, at least partially debunking this theory.

Intoxication, crimes, mental illness and especially poor decision making are all common features to the legend. However, Florida is not on the top of the list on any of these metrics. It does have one of the worst ranks on wealth, which may go some way to explaining it, but none of these are problems unique to Florida.

Things that are uniquely Floridan:

* The southern most state in the continental U.S.
* The only place on earth where both alligators and crocodiles in the wild
* The flatest state on average

Cristina concludes, in the end, that it's a combination of factors., but admits that their may be no why. Florida man may just be eternal.

Takeaway: Florida Man is a better anti-drug tactic than D.A.R.E.

## Trivia

* Patreon skit: A siren tempts a sailor with the tiers.
* The first social distancing episode.
* The first episode where Cristina swears for the $100 tier. "Fucking gators".
Graveyard Spiral

"This week Cristina brings us more UFO related history. What happened to one enthusiastic flyer over the coast of Australia? Tune in for some great history and perspective."

## The Disappearance of Fredrick Valentich

### Presented by: Cristina

Category: Extraterrestrial

Fredrick Valentich was 20 years old at the time of his disappearance. He was studying to be a commercial pilot, having failed twice to join the Australian air force and having failed his licensing exams several times.

On the night of October 21, 1978, he went up in his plane. Ostensibly, his goal had been to go to King's Island, though he told people conflicting reasons for his flight, which all turned out to be untrue. Just after 7 PM, he radioed air traffic control about an aircraft that was "orbiting" him. He was told that there was no known airplanes in the area, although both crafts would have been too low to be picked up by the radar.

He asked several times if there were any military planes in the area, apparently believing it was an experimental craft. In the recording, he described the craft as metallic with a green light, capable of great speeds and being stationary mid-air. His last known words were, "It's hovering and it's not an aircraft." 17 Seconds of an unidentified scraping noise, while Valentich would have to had manually maintain the raido contact, can be heard.

Many theories abound as to his disappearance. Beyond aliens, some people believe that he flew upside down and crashed into the ocean. Debris that might have been his was found several years later, but remains inconclusive. This would be impossible for his type of plane, though an angled "graveyard spiral" might have the same effect. Others believe that it was an elaborate suicide, with the alien bit to cover things up and because he was a known believer in UFOs. However, he's evaluations make this unlikely. Still other believe he may have gotten into some trouble, possibly with another aircraft that he somehow couldn't identify.

No explanation completely answers the questions and this is considered to be one of the best cases for alien abduction.

Takeaway: The most boring explanation is usually the right one. Avoid flying alone at night.
Chelsea's Color-paloza

"Welcome to Bummersville! Where Cristina is going to tell you about the Anthill Kids. Now, seeing as this gets Extremely Depressing and Disturbing (even for Bummersville), we want to let you know that Chelsea's section, where she talks about a creature that started from a creation myth and became a cryptid, starts at 58 minutes into the Podcast."

## The Anthill Kids

### Presented by: Cristina

Category: Cult

**Content Warnings: Abuse (Physical, Sexual, Psychological), Child Abuse, Murder, Surgery**

Roch Thériault was a cult leader living in Canada in the 70s and 80s. After dropping out of school in 7th grade to study the Bible (specifically the Old Testament), he lived a relatively normal life until his 20s.

In the late 70s, he began gathering followers and set up a commune. Called the Anthill Kids due to their business, his beliefs were similar to that of the Millerites in that he believed that theend of the world was imminent, setting the time at February 1979. He encouraged his followers to live free of sin while manipulate the women to sleep with him and have his children.

He abused his followers in horrific ways. People who attempted or spoke of leaving, he would beat their knee caps. Others we would hang from their limbs, pluck their hairs individually or defecate on. Followers who disobeyed him were made to break their own legs or sit on hot stoves. Children, his own, might find themselves nailed to trees.

Throughout this, he managed to convince authorities of his innocence, even after the death of one boy who was left outside at night in the winter and froze to death earned him time in prison. One social worker even argued in court that he should have his children returned to him.

He was finally arrested for the last in 1989 after one of his Mengele-esque surgeries killed one of his followers. He was sentenced to 12 years in prison and would have been due for release in 2015 had he not been killed by his cellmate.

Takeaway: Don't let your kid drop out of school to study religion.

## Grootslang

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Cryptid

The Grootslang (literally "big snake") is a cryptid native to South Africa. With the body of a snake and the head of an elephant (with some depictions showing it's trunk below it's mouth), it was said to have been created by the gods who realized too late that it was too powerful They tried to destroy the Grootslangs, but some number of them escaped to reproduce and torment the locals to this day.

Notable sightings include an account from a Dutch doctor who claimed to have seen one in late 1867 as a boy. His father attempted shoot it, but it escaped. Periodic sightings persisted to the modern day, with a heyday in the early 1960s.

The Grootslang is said to dwell in a cave called the "Wonder Hole" or the "Bottomless Pit". The cave is also said to be filled with diamonds, a bold claim given that no one has ever actually been there. One prospector attempted to explore it, nearly drowned and never tried again.

A relatively obscure cryptid, it can still be found in cartoons and tabletop games.

Takeaway: Sometimes the gods mess up.
DIY Mystical Energy Smuggling

"You didn't exactly ask for it but Chelsea's talking about it anyway: It's HOBBY LOBBY!!! In less weird 2017 news stories and more mystical weird stuff, Cristina talks about lay lines and how they're definitely caused by wizard aliens."

## Ley Lines

### Presented by: Cristina

Category:

In 1922, Alfred Watkins published a book charting straight lines across Britain that connect important monuments and religious/historic sites. Called ley because so many places on his map had that syllable in, it was originally hypothesized by Watkins that it was deliberate, but mundane, planning. However, if it stopped there, it wouldn't be in the purview of this podcast.

Ley lines, as they are popularly known, are lines of mystical power, thought the source of the power depends on your beliefs. The sites mark where the power is greatest and where rituals can be done. However, dark magic will ruin it for everybody.

It should be noted that this doesn't just apply to such sites. You can do the same thing to pizza places.

## Hobby Lobby

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Conspiracy

Hobby Lobby is an American craft store, run by a far-right CEO. So far-right that he started up a biblical history museum in Washington, D.C.

To give it something to display-other than statues of humans frolicking with dinosaurs, they smuggled in clay tablets from Iraq and shipped to the US labeled "tiles". 55,000 tablets were bought, but only 38.000 arrived. Mostly the tablets (the ones that Hobby Lobby admitted to having) were paperwork and incantations, but it's possible some of the ones that weren't found had biblical significance. Many of the tablets came from Irisagrig, a lost city that may never be found due to black marketeers, many who have ties to ISIS, looted it.

Hobby Lobby was caught in 2009 and was forced to begin the process of returning the items as well as pay double the amount they paid.
House Painters Wanted

"So what really happened to a man with ties to both organized crime and human rights? Is he sleeping with the fishes or is he underneath the giants stadium? Listen in and you'll learn the truth."

## Jimmy Hoffa

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Disappearance

Jimmy Hoff was a teamster and a union leader in Detroit in the 1970s. He disappeared from a restaurant in 1975 and was never seen, alive or dead, again.

Most historians agree that his was killed and hidden by the mob. However the details of the theories still get debated, though mostly centered around the location of the body, which has never been found. It seems clear that Hoffa was lured away from the restaurant, possibly by his stepson, believed to be a patsy. His body was rumored to be incinerated or under a building, possibly even a stadium. The FBI has followed up on leads but have yet to turn anything up.

Of course, for those who don't buy the Mafia theory, the FBI are the prime suspects. One theory has it that they dumped him out of a plan over the great lakes.

Takeaway:
Cubic River Monsters

"Cristina kicks things off talking about the Liberian river monster the gbahali, and then Chelsea confuses us all trying to explain Time Cube. Also #SocratesEinsteinFight."

## Ghabali

### Presented by: Cristina

Category: Cryptid

For a long time, people have believed that dinosaurs (being used to mean any non-mammalian creature from that error) still exist in parts of the world, usually Africa.

The Ghabali is a cryptid that has been sighted in Liberia. A 30-foot reptile with a tail and mid-length legs, Chelsea describes the picture she saw of it as, "looking like a jacked-up crocodile." That's because that's what it is. Witnesses who saw it were shown pictures of the Postosuchus, an extinct species resemble crocodiles, recognized it as a Ghabali. However, the Postosuchus was never known to live in modern-day Africa. Nevertheless, it the Ghabali exists, the Postosuchus remains the most likely explanation.

## Time Cube

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Scientific Theory

If you've never heard of the Time Cube, then you already understand it more than any of us.
In Your Arrogance

"Ever wonder what a real life treasure hunt in america would be like? Well it is not that great to be honest. Actually it can be kind of dangerous. Join us as we discuss the phenomenon of the Forrest Fenn Treasure. Remember stay safe out there because two million dollars isn't worth it. Story starts at 32 minutes."

## Forrest Fenn Treasure

### Presented By: Chelsea

Category: Buried Treasure

Forrest Fenn was a retired Air Force Major to become and art dealer. When he was 58 years old, he was diagnosed with cancer and was not expected to live. As a sort of legacy, he decided to bury a treasure chest filled with art and gold somewhere in the Rocky Mountains.

However, when Fenn pulled through, he honored the treasure hunt and kept the location hidden. At least 5 deaths were associated with the hunt and authorities pressured Fenn to call off the hunt. He refused each time on the grounds that he wanted people to enjoy the outdoors while looking and wanted to respect the people who were already hunting.

Shortly before his death in 2020, the chest was found, though rumors persist that some of the treasure is still out there.

Takeaway: Always take a hiking buddy.
The Bummersville Sometimes

"This week we talk about the great conspiracy surrounding pandemics and the effect they have on humanity. Many people need to find the patterns in world events so much that they even go so far as to create a conspiracy around a worldwide disease. Spoiler warning wash your hands. Story starts at 20 minutes."

## Pandemic Conspiracies

### Presented By: Chelsea

Category: Conspiracy

You may find it comforting, or maybe depressing, to learn that pandemic conspiracies are nothing new. Starting with the Russian Flu in 1889 which spread quickly in the new industrialized world, people feared the new. Noticing that most of the cases were concentrated around cities, fears spread that disease was caused by electrical lines, closely paralleling the rumors surrounding 5G towers.

Later, with the Spanish flu, their was the prevailing belief among the public that the disease was spread deliberately. The usual suspect was the Germans, who had just lost a world war. Desperate to protect themselves, people turned to falsely touted medicines such as castor oil to save them. Malaria drugs were also taken, leading to a shortage of the people who actually needed it. Some people died when they took poison by mistake.

Among the most common conspiracies, medical conspiracies serve as way to study conspiracies in general, as well as their origins. Paradoxically, conspiracies bring comfort to people who can't accept that the world is random. Humans are a species that are hardwired to see things in patterns, even when they don't exist. We always like to feel heroic and uncovering hidden knowledge allows a vehicle to be heroes. Finally, there's the age-old problem of confirmation bias. People who don't want to believe because the truth inconveniences them look for (and find) reasons to reject the truth.

Conspiracies, especially medical ones, are dangerous. Look no further than the anti-vaxxers who have helped the return of diseases like measles now that people are less likely to get vaccinated.

Takeaway: Arm yourself with knowledge.

## Trivia

* Patreon skit: Cristina does the Patreon as fast as she can.
Jacked Purple Lynx Fursona

"This week we discuss the BatSquatch in all its glory! Is it a man? Does it have a 15 foot wing span? Is it truly owls yet again? Also to all our listeners times are hard. Be safe out there and know were hoping for the best for you."

## Batsquatch

### Presented By: Cristina

Category: Cryptid

The Batsquatch is a North American cryptid native to Washington state. It's described as demon like, standing 9 feet tall, with a sasquatch body, covered with blue or purple fur the face of a wolf with glowing yellow eyes and the giant wings of a bat.

Batsquatch was first sited in the 1980s, following the eruption of Mt. St. Helens. One of the theories as to the origin of Batsquatch is that it was trapped inside of the volcano and was released with the eruption. That Harry S. Truman, last seen on Mt. St. Helens, was never seen with the Batsquatch has not gone unnoted by least one person writing this entry.

The most notable, and possibly last genuine, sighting came in 1994, when teenager Brian Canfield saw it when his card stalled.

There have been other supposed sightings, but holes and contradictions in the stories make them far than less credible. Cristina brought up the IPA named after the Batsquatch and posited the theory that the stories are viral marketing for the beer.

The Batsquatch as been connected to other cryptids, such as Mothman. However, the descriptions don't match and only the fact that they fly is common between them.

Takeaway: Don't make up fake cryptid stories.
Conspiracy

Mysteries regarding plots to purposes unknowns. The following religious mysteries have been covered by Cults, Cryptids and Conspiracies:

* 9/11 Truthers, episode 174
* Abril Lavigne, episode 12
* Birther Movement, episode 178
* Climate change denial, episode 197
* Ed Edwards killed *everybody*, episode 27
* False Flags, episode 22
* Flat Earth, episode 43
* Glitter, episode 93
* Israeli Spy Sharks, episode 116
* Jeffrey Epstein, episode 118
* The Moon is Fake, episode 134
* New Coke, episode 23
* Ourang Medan, episode 39
* Pandemic Conspiracies, episode 157
* Paul is Dead, episode 112
* Pizzagate, episode 117
* Oaksville Jelly Incident, episode 115
* Project Monarch, episode 26
* Phantom Time Hypothesis, episode 26
* Resurrectionists, episode 93
* Russian Radio, episode 2
* The Satanic Panic, episode 24
* The Shakespeare Conspiracy, episode 135
* Stock Market Alchemy, episode 10
* Warlocks of Chiloe, episode 113
A Whole C.A.N. of Lawsuits

"This week's episode explores the Cult Awareness Network! It's a story that teaches us that kidnapping is wrong, and sometimes you really don't want to pick legal fights with cults."

## The Cult Awareness Network

### Presented by: Cristina

Category: Cult

The Cult Awareness Network, formerly the Citizen's Freedom Foundation, was founded in the 1970s by Theodore Roosevelt Patrick, Jr after the events in Jonestown. They were dedicated to freeing people from cults.

While they were trying to help people, and many survivors of cults have credited them with their escape, the group was not without it's controversy. Practicing what they called "deprograming", they rescued people from cults by kidnapping them and holding them until they accepted they were in a cult. These were people who were adults and had freedom of association.

They initially had the support of the law and won a case in Minnesota from a woman who sued them. However their methods were often extreme, including starvation, and it wasn't unheard of for them to kidnap the wrong person. They faced numerous lawsuits from people who had to escape them.

The Cult Awareness Network ended when they began criticizing Scientology. The Church was able to sue them into bankruptcy and buy up the rights to their name.

Takeaway: Just because you're trying to do good, doesn't mean you're not doing bad things.

## Trivia

* Patreon Skit: Awkward Thanksgiving dinner.
A Man Chooses (Poorly)

"For liberty how far would you separate yourself from the government? Lets hear some stories about how building a libertarian paradise actually goes and the lessons we learn along the way. All in all freedom has its own costs."

## The Phoenix Foundation

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Cult

Libertarianism is a right-wing political belief that focuses on low (or zero) taxes and minimal (or zero) government oversight, especially on the federal liberal. Most Libertarian beliefs are founded upon the works of author Ayn Rand and, in the United States, the politician and presidential candidate Ron Paul. While this does not work anymore than communism, there have been several attempts to create so-called "Libertarian paradises". The Phoenix Foundation has been behind several.

The Phoenix Foundation was founded in the 1970s by millionaires as a scheme to create a tax haven in the Pacific. There first attempt was the Republic of Minerva, founded in 1972. It's life was short. The area it belonged to Tonga who, backed by international support, scared the Minervans off.

Further attempts involved them backing revolutions or attempting to co-opt legitimate independence movements. These in included the Bahamas and Papua New Guinea.

These paradises fail because people require human services, which require money to run. When they realize they need these services, they begin to realize they actually need government and that the government needs taxes.

Takeaway: Humans are better together.
An Egg In These Trying Times

"New Jersey is quite a strange place in America. Especially in the Pine Flats area where a nuclear spill nearby a place known as Ong's Hat. This is probably the most egg heavy episode you will ever get. Prepare for intense science theory and a surprise ending with this episode."

## Ong's Hat

### Presented by: Chelsea

Category: Hoax

Ong's Hat is an ostensible ghost town in New Jersey (otherwise known as "North Florida"). Founded up against the infamous Pine Barrens, home of the Jersey Devil, it was the site of several secret scientific experiments.

The experiments were performed by Wali Fard, a former jazz musician, and Frank and Althea Dobbs, twins from Harvard. The were originally working on the technology to transport people to the base behind the moon hologram using a machine they called the Egg when they opened the Gate, an opening to the alternate dimension. This dimension was almost exactly like out, except humans never evolved.

When they military got wind of their experiments and tried to stop them, team fled to this dimension though they still come back from time to time to use the internet.