The Irish Ballad

## Song Info:

"The Irish Ballad" Was Released In And Was Featured On "Tom Lehrer In Concert", "**Tom Lehrer Discovers Australia (And Vice Versa)**" And "**The Tom Lehrer Collection 1953 - 60**". It Was Also Featured On "Songs By Tom Lehrer".

## Lyrics:

SPOKEN LIVE INTRODUCTION:

Now I'd like to turn to the folk song, which has become in recent years the particularly fashionable form of idiocy among the self-styled intellectual. we find that people who deplore the level of current popular songs -- although I admit they do seem to be recording almost anything these days. Have you heard Sesue Hayakawa's record of "Remember Pearl Harbor"?

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Sesue Hayakawa, in spite of what modern listeners might think, is not a popular Japanese musician of the late 1950s and early 1960s.

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Sesue Hayakawa was a popular actor, who after moving to the United States from Japan as a young man, found success in the United States. A very masculine manly man who appeared in action films of the 1920s and 1930s, Sesue was one of the very first Asian actors to find critical and commercial acclaim in Hollywood. World War 2 sadly caused his career to peter out, as studios felt uncomfortable having a Japanese leading man during a war with Japan going on. However, after the war ended, Sesue reinvented himself as a character actor and continue to work in the US and in Europe and continued to star in films until his death.

These same people who deplore the level of current popular songs and yet will sit around enthralled singing "Jimmy Crack Corn and I Don't Care" or "Green Grow the Rushes, Oh!" -- whatever that means. At any rate, for this elite I have here an ancient Irish ballad, which was written a few years ago, and which is replete with all the accoutrements of this art form. In particular, it has a sort of idiotic refrain, in this case "Rickety-tickety-tin" you'll notice cropping up from time to time, running through, I might add, interminable verses. The large number of verses being a feature expressly designed to please the true devotees of the folk song who seem to find singing fifty verses of "On Top of Old Smokey" is twice as enjoyable as singing twenty-five

This type of song also has what is known technically in music as a modal tune, which means -- for the benefit of any layman who may have wandered in this evening -- that I play a wrong note every now and then

This song though does differ strikingly from the genuine folk ballad in that in this song the words which are supposed to rhyme - actually do

I, ah, I really should say that I do not direct these remarks against the vast army of folk song lovers, but merely against that peculiar hard core who seem to equate authenticity with artistic merit and illiteracy with charm

Oh, one more thing. One of the more important aspects of public folk singing is audience participation, and this happens to be a good song for group singing, so if any of you feel like joining in with me on this song, I'd appreciate it if you would leave right now

SUNG:

[Verse 1]

About a maid I'll sing a song

Sing rickety-tickety-tin

About a maid I'll sing a song

Who didn't have her family long

Not only did she do them wrong

She did ev'ryone of them in, them in

She did ev'ryone of them in

[Verse 2]

One morning in a fit of pique

Sing rickety-tickety-tin

One morning in a fit of pique

She drowned her father in the creek

The water tasted bad for a week

And we had to make do with gin, with gin

We had to make do with gin

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Alcohol was popular alternative to water, in the days before water sanitation was standardized throughout the world. If water was tainted or polluted, it was common and accepted to drink alcoholic drink instead due to it not having potential of being contaminated and made dangerous to drink.

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[Verse 3]

Her mother she could never stand

Sing rickety-tickety-tin

Her mother she could never stand

And so a cyanide soup she planned

The mother died with a spoon in her hand

And her face in a hideous grin, a grin

Her face in a hideous grin

[Verse 4]

She set her sister's hair on fire

Sing rickety-tickety-tin

She set her sister's hair on fire

And as the smoke and flame rose high'are

Danced around the funeral pyre

Playin' a violin, -olin

Playin' a violin

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Legend has it that the Emperor Nero played fiddle while Rome burned in 64 A.D.

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[Verse 5]

She weighted her brother down with stones

Rickety-tickety-tin

She weighted her brother down with stones

And sent him off to davy jones

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“Davy Jones' Locker” is an old euphemism for the bottom of the sea, where drowned sailors and shipwrecks go.

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All they ever found were some bones

And occasional pieces of skin, of skin

Occasional pieces of skin

[Verse 6]

One day when she had nothing to do

Sing rickety-tickety-tin

One day when she had nothing to do

She cut her baby brother in two

And served him up as an irish stew

And invited the neighbors in, -bors in

Invited the neighbors in

[Verse 7]

And when at last the police came by

Sing rickety-tickety-tin

And when at last the police came by

Her little pranks she did not deny

To do so she would have had to lie

And lying, she knew, was a sin, a sin

Lying, she knew, was a sin

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A classic example of skewered morality: murdering your entire family? OK. But lying? A mortal sin that you must never engage in.

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[Verse 8]

My tragic tale, I won't prolong

Rickety-tickety-tin

My tragic tale I won't prolong

And if you do not enjoy the song

You've yourselves to blame if it's too long

You should never have let me begin, begin

You should never have let me begin