Mail-order Bride

## Meta

**Timing:** 28 July 2026, same day as "Twofer"

**Setting:** Darling-Jones residence at The Village

## Text

Holly pulls her car into a parking space in front of a picture-perfect terraced house. "We're here!" She twists to see over the back of the seat, says, "I'll let them know while you two get Button's things together."

"Thank you, Holly," says Blossom.

Holly smiles warmly and she sets out for the house.

Logan unfolds himself from the front seat, opens Blossom's door.

Button stretches his arms toward Logan. "Up!"

Blossom grins, works on the car seat harness. "You can get back to Logan in a moment, sweetie. Lemme get you unbuckled."

Button frowns, bounces in frustration. 「Up.」

"He gives orders in two languages?" snickers Logan.

Blossom releases the last clip. "His Cantonese vocabulary's bigger than his English—" Hoists Button from the seat. "—so he'll switch between them to say what he wants—" Twists around, settles Button in Logan's arms—

Button burbles happily, burrows into Logan's chest.

Logan smiles, straightens.

—grabs her baby bag, clambers out of the car, hip checks the door closed. "—or if he thinks you didn't understand him in the first one."

Logan snorts.

Button leans away, queries.

"You're a right handful, aren't you?"

Button beams.

Blossom rolls her eyes, strolls toward the house. "Don't encourage him /**too** much."

"I'm a bad influence, remember?"

"How could I forget?" drawls Blossom, opening the front gate. "He still picks pockets."

Logan blinks, stops. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. Visitors have to check all pointy things and candy at the door."

"Suk Fu Ji  like canny," announces Button.

"Uncle Ji also makes it easy to steal," sighs Blossom.

Button giggles. 「He's silly.」

「He is, but you shouldn't steal.」

"Uncle paying," pouts Button.

Blossom sighs long-sufferingly. "I know you and Uncle are playing, but that's not the point."

Logan ducks his head. "Uh, s—"

She nudges him. "It's not genetic."

"You, uh, should stop him, though. The longer he gets away with it, the more he'll try and the better he'll get at it."

"From experience?"

"Yea," sighs Logan.

"Before we go inside, what'd you tell your family about me and the peanut?"

Logan swallows. "Told Jack and Nanny the truth. Jack probably told Charlie."

"The rest?"

Shrugs.

"Ex-cellent," hums Blossom.

Logan raises an eyebrow.

"Cousin agreed I should have a cover story." Bats her eyelashes. "I was thinking I should be a Chinese mail-order bride—"

Logan blinks, says—

"—and you, my kindhearted husband-to-be agreed to take me after my first engagement fell through, even though I brought along a toddler who snores like—"

"His mum," mutters Logan.

Blossom kicks his foot. "He still does, you know."

"I's noisy." Preens. "Dad."

Logan winces, takes a deep breath, then grins. "Does your mum make noise—"

"Don't you—"

"—when she sleeps, Button?"

"Mama /**loud**!"

Logan smirks.

Blossom huffs. "So, what do you think of the story?"

Logan wrinkles his nose.

"C'mon, it'll be worth it for the look on their faces." She ribs him. "They'll /**never** believe /**you** ordered a mate."

Logan smiles weakly.

Blossom smiles reassuringly, steps through the gate. "Let's go, lǎogōng, before they come looking."

He sighs, climbs the stairs to the front door.

.

Blossom swings open the front door—

Jack's waiting inside, Jupiter snoozing against his shoulder. He smiles.

"Hey." Logan takes a deep breath. "Jack, this's Tang Lan Wei—" Nuzzles Button's hair. "—and Button. Tang Lan, this's my brother, Jack. The butterbean's Jupiter."

Button coos.

Jack bows carefully. "A pleasure."

Blossom replies in kind. "Same here." Grins. "Lǎogōng's told me /**so** much about you."

"What does—"

"How many people are waiting in there—" Logan jerks his head toward the family room. "—for us?"

Jack smirks. "The whole family."

Logan rolls his eyes.

"Macrossan's here, too."

Blossom snorts.

"Let's get this over with," sighs Logan.

Jack leads the way, announces, "I hereby present to you Ta—"

"Tang Lan!" Bubbles leaps from her chair, smothers Blossom in a hug. "Sooooo /**awesome** to see you again!"

"You two know each other?" asks Jack.

Still latched on, Bubbles says, "Yup! Tang Lan interviewed me last year." /**Finally** releases Blossom. "How do /**you** know her, Buttercup?"

Blossom bats her eyelashes at Logan.

He rubs the back of his neck. "It's a long story." Deep breath. "Short version: she got in trouble, I helped her out, and now we're sorta pa— partnered for life."

Jack makes a choking noise.

Bubbles blinks. "You're married."

On the couch, Derek, Andrea, and Jason's jaws drop in sync.

Blossom smiles smugly, threads her arm through Logan's, oozes against his side.

Charlie eases Jupiter from Jack.

"/**You're** married." Bubbles glares at Blossom.

Jack doubles over, wheezes.

Logan scrubs a hand over his face, mumbles, "More or less."

Derek and Andrea don't seem to be breathing.

"You're /**married**." Bubbles glares at Logan.

"Let's get those cookies from the kitchen, dear," says Nanny, herding Jack from the room.

"/**You're** sounding like a broken record," grumbles Logan.