STORIES/FALLEN SAVIORS

《**FALLEN SAVIORS**》是羊圈Yan-Gyan创作的短篇小说。

小說及封面由CC BY-NC-SA CN 3.0協議共享，不受羊圈所在中國大陸之《中華人民共和國著作權法》保護。

正文
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* 中文（中國大陸）
* 英文（Americanized）

透过叶缝照出的阳光与蝉鸣在宣告着夏天。我坐在学校楼顶的长椅上，望向那沐浴阳光的城市，高楼、平房、公路，还有那条用极高的栅栏围起来的绿道。

我最讨厌的就是夏天，燥热感与不美好的回忆化开，糊在一起，烂在一块。

我打开手中盒饭的盒子，正开始准备大快朵颐。但当我一抬头，眼前的景象令我不自觉地令我“诶”了一声。

在这平常几乎没人来的楼顶，一名身穿水手服的女孩站在栏杆旁——准确来说，是栏杆外。

更要命的是，她是脱了鞋后翻出去的。

“喂，什么鬼——”

我冲上前去，迅速把她拉了回来。我可不想看到少女摔死在我面前。

于是我韩秋和云夜芽的相遇，就被记载在了我生命的一页。

“真的牙白，他们说我哪里哪里有问题……”

云夜芽在QQ上一直跟我抱怨着自己的家庭，我则是在那里一字一句细心回复。

她的学业一团乱，导致家庭矛盾频发……这说不定就是她想自杀的理由？也许需要仔细问问。

“星期六出来跟我说吧。”我突然这么请求到，打了她个措手不及。

“诶？什么？我们两个？”

好吧，我承认自己这下确实很突然啦，但我确实有点事想问她。

“对。你同意吗？”

“也不是说不行啦……是要去哪里？”

“你来定吧？在哪里待着舒服就去哪里。”

她思考良久，我静静地等着。其实问不问没有什么关系，把她带出来转转，对她也挺好的吧。

“就去山上那条绿道怎么样？”

——怎……

“你感觉怎么样呢？”

“那边离市区比较远吧……”

“啊，会比较麻烦吗，对不起……”

“啊不，你想去也是可以的。”

虽然在那个地方发生的事情……

……许多年过去了，听人说，那些陈年往事可以被埋葬在坟墓里。然而我究竟是明白了，它们还会自己爬上来。

回过头来，我意识到在过去的两年中，自己始终在那悬崖之上，俯瞰底端。

“啊，你好。”

和平常在网络上的说话形象不同，夜芽看上去有点拘谨。

“边走边说。”我看着她，尽可能温柔地露出微笑。再看向前方，无止境长的绿道一侧是绿荫，另一侧是极高的围栏。围栏把生机与悬崖阻隔开来。

嗯，没有出现任何生理不适，很好。

“那个……韩秋同学。”她突然开口了，“你是要……问我什么？”

“你为什么会想自杀呢？”我直截了当地问到。

“……我……”

“是因为家庭吗？还是学业？”

“……不是……”

夜芽的神情意外得慌张。我突然觉得，自己是不是有一点咄咄逼人了？

“没关系，不想说也可以。就当出来走走了。”

沉默良久。像是为了抹去沉默的尴尬，夜芽开口到：

“那，我能问你一个问题吗？”

“诶？什么？”

“那天你昏倒了对吧？”

“额……”

没有错。

当天，我刚救下她时，我便倒在了地上，大概一两分钟才活过来。等我睁开眼时，就看见夜芽在我身边忧心忡忡地看着。

“那个啊，就是太紧张了而已啦。”

“是这样啊……”

“嗯……”

我的耳边传来一种刺耳的蜂鸣声。

在我们继续走着绿道的时候，我的注意力被两个骑着自行车经过的高中生吸引了过去。两人嬉戏打闹着，我尝试着不要去注意……

“看那两人，挺有意思的，你会骑自行车吗？”夜芽问到，她的眼神也转向了两人。

“哦，确实。不过我不太会骑自行车……”我小声回答。

脑中一片片场景闪过。

池海……

突然，我的头开始晕眩，周围的景色开始扭曲，我感到一阵头晕目眩。

夜芽立刻注意到我的状况，紧张地问道：“韩秋同学，怎么回事？”

我摇摇头，尽量保持冷静，但头痛变得越来越剧烈，视线模糊不清。最后，我无法忍受，晕倒在绿道上。

“没事啊，真的没事。你先回去吧，夜芽同学。”

韩秋这么跟我说着，我却放不下心来。倒不如说，怎么可能放下心来。

“你已经晕倒过两次了诶？这不是巧合吧？”

“我真的没事，谢谢你。”

最后那个“谢谢你”他说的一字一顿，像是动漫里的人一样。他这样莫名有点可爱。

真是的，本来要问我东西居然自顾自地昏倒了——我脑海中闪过这样一句有点好笑的台词。

“对了，夜芽同学。下次去那家‘心八客咖啡馆’怎么样？”

“诶？”

“我看你应该是不喜欢市区吧？那里离市区比较远哦。”

——他注意到了这点。他注意到了，我不愿意在市区内会见的这点。

“都八点半了，快回家吧，不然你爸妈要担心……”他说到一半，咽了回去，“真的不早了，一个人在外面要小心。”

“哦，好吧……”

我……

在从医院到家的路上，我一边走着，一边想。

我其实挺喜欢市区的。我喜欢市区那种人们在白日摆摊，在夜晚闲逛的感觉。

这个夜没有一丝风，我走在街上，与路人摩肩擦踵。路灯照耀着灰色的地面，万家灯火渲染着橙色的光芒。我害怕身边会有什么人窜出来，抓住我的头发，把我摔到小巷里。

我打开手机，看到了一条微信：

“云夜芽，周一下午放学到旧校舍后面来。”

这个夜没有一丝风，却足以让我颤抖。

这里是旧校舍的后方，我已经来过这里不知道几次了。

曾因为火灾被焚烧的校舍呈现出红色调。

那个“大个子女”在那，“弱不禁风”和副班长站在她身旁。我开口到：

“今天也……啊！”

我猝不及防挨了一记耳光。

“别说话！”耳光是大个子女打的。

“那个小东西还没来吗？”

“她不敢不来的。除非她想让全世界都看到那些照片。”

“嘻！真是倒霉孩子！”

她们这下属实是“三个女人一台戏”，在这里叽叽喳喳，仿佛只是在进行一件茶余饭后的娱乐活动。

或许对她们来说就是这样的。

“哦，来了。”

“来那么慢？”

方诗真从远处缓缓走来，眼中不带有一点光芒。大个子女一把把她揪过来丢在地上。

“小贱东西，你怎么敢来这么晚的？”

“我……我值日……”

“值日，”大个子女拿起旁边的木棍，狠狠地打在她的腿上，“我他妈让你值……”

方诗真没有流下一滴眼泪，没有一声哭泣，仿佛她生来就该被这样对待一样。

……

而旁边两人在笑，在拍摄全过程。

最开始，她们逼着我看完这一过程，并告诉我我必须按照她们说的做，否则她们可以让我也被这样。

我没有办法。只能她们叫我来我就来。

而方诗真的处境更加可怕。

她被拍下了不能被公开的照片和视频，如果不来的话就会传遍学校，更不知道会遭遇什么身体折磨。

而我要做的是……

“拿着。”

大个子女把木棍递给了我。

我没有办法。我不想，不是我错。没有办法。我不想，不是我错。我没有办法。我不想，不是我错……

“还是像平常一样就好，别打死，往死里打。”

我没有办法，对不起。不是我错，我不想，不是。对不起。我没有办法，对不起。不是我错，我不想，不是。对不起。我没有办法，对不起。不是我错，我不想，不是。对不起。我没有办法，对不起。不是我错，我不想，不是。对不起。

我缓缓举起木棍。

……

我是自私的罪人，对吗？

“欢迎光临。”我走进了咖啡店。

“喂——”韩秋在那向我招手，我快步走过去，坐在他旁边。

韩秋望着我，很自然地露出微笑，我感到有点害羞。

我喜欢他那张稚气未脱的脸的笑容。

说起来，我今天的样子奇怪吗？应该不会吧，我特地选了我觉得最可爱的发型，不过成熟的发型会不会更适合我……呜哇啊。

不过，至少，他好像也脸红了。

“你喝什么？”他问到。

“嗯……我看看……”我拿过桌子上的菜单，“这个名字听起来很奇怪的……破“恒”咖啡？”

他笑了起来：“这个念(垣yuán)啦。”

“呜，这个字好难。”

不同于上次，这次我们相互打着趣，谁也没再提严肃的事情。

其实，我对他还挺……

有意思的。

我的人生，从小时候到初中毕业，一直是空空如也的情况，没有什么特别的事，只是在努力读书考试，而到了高中……

耳边传来一种刺耳的蜂鸣声。

别再想了，别再去思考那些人了。

……

我只希望我能依偎在他人身上，起码给我一丝温暖和爱。

今天和夜芽出来，比上次要更紧张。可能是因为今天是真·约会的关系。

她扎的那个丸子头格外的可爱，和她成熟的脸有种反差感。

“秋，你有什么兴趣爱好吗？”

“特别感兴趣的事情没有……平常在家也就看看轻小说、玩玩游戏。”

其实感兴趣的事情是有的，那就是骑自行车，但是两年前，我当时喜欢的人去世后，我就没碰自行车了。

当时都是我的错，池海才会死。

耳边传来一种刺耳的蜂鸣声。

回到现在，夜芽进入了我失去一切的人生，我又该怎么面对这种控制不住的情感呢？

我对她是什么感情？

我真的能……

时间不早了，我们走出咖啡馆，爱好的话题一个接一个，轻小说的台词一句接一句。

“夜芽。”

“怎么了？”

“你为什么不想在市区待着呢？”

她低下头，沉默了一会，宝石般的眼睛闪过一种难以理解的眼神。

“嗯……怕遇到一些讨厌的人吧。”

沉默一会，我该追问下去吗？这件事会不会很重要？

三思之下，我还是问了：

“什么人？”

“……我……”

“到底是……怎么回事？”

我走到她前方，然后转身看着她。

夜芽低着头，眼里泛出泪花，这时我终于看清了她的眼神：悲伤、愤怒与愧疚。

“我可以……相信你吗？”

她和我内心深处的感情一定很相近。

我不自觉地用双臂环绕住她，她则是在感受到后慢慢靠近我，最后她闭上眼睛，继续抽泣着，依偎在我身上。

她啜泣着，下定决心告诉了我全部。

三年前，韩秋。

他照常在绿道上骑着自行车。说真的，绿道的围栏这么矮，感觉似乎很危险。为了安全起见，他骑的比较缓慢。不过，在多年以后，在他看着轻小说中男女主梦幻的初见时，他会想起今天的。

转过弯时，他突然看到了什么，停下了。面前倒着一个人。

倒在那里的是一个女生，他走到她面前，将她扶了起来。

“没事吧？”

“啊……我没事的……”

韩秋看到女孩的膝盖上有一片伤口，就明白她在逞强。

“你都破皮了……来，我先带你去清洗一下。”

“那谢谢你了。”

“对了，你叫什么名字？”

“啊，我叫池海，初次见面。”

“我会帮助你的。”

话虽如此，可我不知道怎么才能帮夜芽。

她颤抖着在我怀里吐露一切时，每一个字都像一把刀一样刺在我的胸口。

这就是她试图自杀的原因，我不能不管。

可是情况要复杂的多，“大个子女”是校内的“反霸凌大使”（现在看来是何等讽刺），而她父亲和校长“交情”深厚。“弱不禁风”是学校有名的优等生，为学校赢了很多荣誉。剩下一个是她们班的副班长。

这种事，我们赢不了。

我唯一能帮的，就是起码让她有个不用压抑的地方。

我不想再失去任何人了。

周一在学校，我和夜芽坐在学校的屋顶上准备吃午饭。

“秋，你有喜欢的人吗？”

“……以前有。”

“是什么样的？”

“一位如海洋一样澎湃的女孩。”

“这样啊……”

我打开手中盒饭的盒子，准备大快朵颐。当我一抬头，看到的是夜芽曾越过的栏杆。

而现在，夜芽就在我旁边，这是我最庆幸的。

我往她手里塞了张字条。

“这是什么？”

“我的地址。有什么情况你可以逃到这来。”

“……真的吗？”

“只能这样了，不是吗？”

“……那也是。”

夜芽看着我，笑了笑，又开始低头吃饭。

“谢谢你。”她低声说道。只有我们听得到的低语。

两年半前。

坐在屋内，看着中国风浓溢的庭院，韩秋能猜测到池海家应该是蛮注重传统的。

池海的弟弟池程实端上一杯茶：“铁观音，请用。”

“谢谢。你姐呢？”

“姐姐听闻你来，颇为重视，沐浴更衣去了。”

韩秋品了一口茶，不禁感慨此茶甚好。

这时，程实在韩秋身旁坐下。

“你是不是喜欢我姐？”

听到这句话，韩秋好悬没把茶喷出来。

“你你你你在说什么？”韩秋说到。

“今天七夕诶，你特地挑的日子，要和她出去玩吧？”

“这个嘛……”

“别害臊啊，敢追敢当嘛。”

“好吧，是的啦……”

“嘿，还真让我猜中！”

“你会帮忙吗？”

“那得看你是不是个好人。”

程实看向庭院中的塘中荷叶：“不管怎么样，我要提醒你，她可不是什么静如止水的‘海’，她是汹涌澎湃的‘海’。她的性格飘忽不定，如果遇到更好的男人，说不定会被一个月带走。”

“谢谢提醒了。”

“何言谢字。不过啊……”程实像是想起了什么，“我们家倒是不管谈恋爱，你们家呢？”

听到这个问题，我笑了笑“我两年没见过父母了，倒不如说从小都没见过几面。我一个人生活已经不知道多久了，他们也就定期寄点钱，履行法定抚养义务了。”

“这样啊……”

“阿秋！”外面的走廊传来池海的声音。

韩秋看向外面，看到池海穿着一身精美的汉服，见韩秋被深深吸引住，她明媚地笑了。

程实推了把韩秋的后背，说了句“去吧！”也笑了出来。

那天的约会是韩秋人生中最绚丽的一事。

门铃响了。

不管怎么猜测，能来按我韩秋门铃的只有一个人。

手搭在门把手上。我感受到一种命运周折的感觉。

我居然成了救人的一方吗……

我打开门的那一刻，夜芽扑到我怀里痛哭流涕。

这时我究竟应该悲怆，还是应该欣喜呢？

“好了——”我把蛋包饭端到夜芽面前的桌上。

“谢谢。”夜芽低声道。她似乎失去了一切的精神。

“你还好吗？怎么失魂落魄的？”

“……我不想说。”

我坐在她旁边，伸手环抱住她，脑袋紧贴她的脑袋。

“没事，不说就不说吧。”我耳语道。

我松开她，待她吃完蛋包饭，她又说了句“谢谢”。

“不用谢啦。我今天在沙发上睡就好了，你去我房间。”

“嗯。”

我带着她来到我房间。她看到我房间桌子上有一张照片，是我和池海。

“这个穿汉服的女生是……？”

“啊，就是之前提到的那个。”

“……是嘛。”

“嗯……当时我和她出去玩。”

这似乎激起了夜芽的兴趣：“哦？能跟我说一下吗？”

“我……让我想想吧。”

那年的七夕，是我和池海度过的最后一个七夕。

可爱的汉服、甜蜜的声音，我永远都无法忘记。

那天看完烟花，我们就去一家西餐厅吃晚餐。

我坐在她的对面，烛光给她的姿色添了几分动人。

“真好啊——”池海说道。

“你很喜欢在这吃晚餐？”

“我喜欢的是和你在这……”

“你说什么？”

“没什么！”

摇晃杯子，绮丽的微笑又显现在她的脸上。

“这大概就是我人生中最完美的一天了吧。”她说。

“这就完美了吗？”

“嘿嘿，你还不满意吗？”她俏皮地吐了吐舌头，“我感觉完美到死了都值了。”

“什么啊喂。”

“我预感我会很浪漫地死去。”

“比如？”

“比如……被爱人亲手杀死。”

“呜哇，听起来好可怕。”

“你呢？你觉得自己会怎么死？”

“你确定我们要在七夕节聊死的事？”

“说说嘛！说说嘛！”

“老死？”

“没——意思。”

“活到老嘛，大家不都是这样想的吗？”

“我还真受不了变成老太婆，那样感觉什么也做不了。如果九十的时候还能有三十岁的身躯就好了。我可是不想闲下来的。我好xi想知道，我究竟该怎么永远有梦想。”

“你就有那么多事想做？”

“当然！我有很多梦想了很久没做的事情，只是环境不允许而已。”

“你有什么梦想没实现的？”

“比如考CATTI啊、做个视觉小说啊、学个画画啊……”

“好杂诶。”

“我可是全才呢。我最大的成就是我成功学会了骑自行车。”

“……然后摔在绿道上了？”我调侃到。

“喂！”她笑着轻轻地打了我一拳。

接着她看向落地窗外，说道：“我真的很庆幸能和……朋友这样相处。”

“友情对你来说代表什么？”

她仔细遐想了一会：“代表可以不孤独吧。”

“那……爱情呢？”我试探性地问。

“大概是，”这次她想得更久，“让我的人生绚丽之物。你呢？”

“我啊……大概也一样吧。”

“我呢……家庭条件很好，所以感觉上是很幸福的。不过家里的温度就比较冷了，你也知道，我们父母经常在外工作，幸好有个和我朝夕相处的弟弟。所以有朋友我很开心。”

“嗯。和我很像，不过我连个兄弟姐妹都没有。”

“不过现在你不孤独了。”

“诶？”

“因为我们都在这里，我们在共进晚餐，我们陪伴着对方呀！”她看向我。

我盯着她的眼睛，心中的感情跳动，几乎无法抑制。

她摇晃装满果汁的酒杯，烛光随之摇曳，樱色唇被照得诱人。

“喂，阿秋。”

“怎……怎么了？”

“你说过，要活到老吗？”

“……嗯。”

“那你是以什么信念而活的呢？”

“……我不知道。”

她犹豫了一会，说：“那能不能请你暂时……”

停顿一秒，似乎是下定了决心。

“……以我为信念而活呢？”

“那张照片是我们临别时拍的。今天整理房间才拿出来，平常都是丢在抽屉里。”

“诶？最后BE了？”夜芽问道。

“大概……就，没什么。人总有悲欢离合嘛。”

“哦……”

我没有告诉她的是，池海与我还有一段回忆。不堪的回忆。

那正是致使绿道围栏加高的原因。

“我说你可不可以不要多管闲事啊？”

池海说出这句话的时候，我的心第一次被割开了。

大约两年前。

在东窗事发之前，我大概有两个月没有频繁联系池海。

原因是我们学校的期中考试难度极高，惩罚也极高，而池海的学校就比较轻松。池海没有我陪伴，一定会找个平替。

所以说，有新的男人出现在她身边我也不奇怪。

倘若那样就算了，即使我多么爱她，她也有自己爱的权利。

但事情没那么简单。

某日放学后，有个在校内的男生在操场上和一个女孩谈情说爱。我顿感自己在哪里见过他。

我出了校门，打开朋友圈，我瞬间明白了这种既视感来源何处。

“今天和fgf出去玩啦（wink）”

我顿感不妙。但也安慰自己，不过是普通朋友呢。

但我越翻看，越毛骨悚然。

暧昧的言语和态度。

刻意的讨好与殷勤。

我心头一冷，赶忙给池海发消息。

“你朋友圈那个男人是？”

“怎么了？”

“我今天看到那个男人在和另一个女生卿卿我我。”

“你看错了吧。”

“请相信我。”

她愣了一会。

“请不要这样。”

“我说的都是真的！你得远离那个男人！”

“不要一直把‘那个男人’挂在嘴边，好吗？”

……

我又发消息给池程实，他比较相信我。他说“我会跟我姐沟通的”。

结果几分钟后，我收到来自池海的消息。

“我说你可不可以不要多管闲事啊？”

那一刻我明白了。

一整年构建的美好回忆不如一个精心设计的场景。

一整年的倾心陪伴不如两个月的蛇蝎心肠。

骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。骗局，伤害，不信。

“对不起……”我说。

“……不，抱歉，我不应该这么说话。”

“……明天。请你明天和我去绿道骑自行车吧。”

“诶？你不是还要期中考……”

“我有把握的。”

“那……好吧。”

此时我分裂的心中，玫瑰般的感情绮丽地生长，随之而来的是黑暗的刺。

我已经精心设计好了。

斜阳撒下金光。

我的自行车前的篮内放着链条钳。

“抱歉，我来晚了！”池海由远处而来。

“没事。”

我跨上车。

“昨天真的很对不起，我不应该那样说话 ”她又说到。

“没有，是我的问题。”

像是为了拉开话题，她说：“一起骑行啊，像以前一样呢。”

“嗯。”

越是向前，就越是沉默。

到一处，我停下来。

“你能去买水吗？”我说。

这附近有一台自动售货机。如果来骑行都是我去买水，所以她听到第一时间愣了一下，然后又说“好”。

她走过拐角，我趁机拿出链条钳。

只要能营造初见时的帮助。

只要精心设计一个更好的帮助。

只要一切按部就班。

那么她会诉诸热情的就是我，而不是他。

松动链条。

“我买好了。”

她把饮料递给我，我说了一句谢谢，精神高度紧张。

只要能让她远离他。

继续骑行。

此时的天已经黑了，我们开着手电筒继续向前。

灰暗的空中，突然炸出几片绚丽的烟花，而我却无心观赏。

“好美的烟花，就像当时……”

这时她的车开始有些失控。

“怎么……”

她的自行车不受控制的向右驶去，我应该做的是马上停车然后——

在我停下来之前，她的车就撞上了栏杆。她不受控制地向外倒去。我再怎么冲上去，也已经来不及了。

死亡。

俯瞰悬崖底部，我的思维骤停。

我的耳边传来一种刺耳的蜂鸣声，比我后来感受到的每一次都要刺耳。

烟花继续绽放着，却不是为我们绽放。

昏暗的杂物间内，看到被丢在角落两年落灰的自行车，我静静看着，然后转身走出杂物间。

现在的我是以什么信条而活的？

“还没睡吗？”

夜芽从房间里走出来。

我捏了捏夜芽的脸，“你呢？你不睡啊？”

“我……睡不着嘛。”

像是决定了什么，她又说：“来陪我聊聊天吧。”然后走进房间

她坐在床上，仰头看向天花板。

“我真的很庆幸有你在。”她说

“没什么。”

“……怎么会呢。”

“嗯？”

“你救了我啊。从这个残忍的世界里。”

“夜芽……”

“我已经认为没有人会愿意帮我的时候……”

“我当然会帮你啊……”

因为什么呢？我自己也在思考。

“看啊，你总是这样。温柔……细腻……”她看向我，继续说道。

温柔细腻……吗？

我只是怕再伤到任何人而已。

“见到你的第一刻起……”

啊，见到你的第一刻起。

“……我就在想你会不会是我的救赎。”

我就在想你会不会是我的救赎。

她往后躺下。

救赎。

SAVIORS.

“我想再体会一次你的拥抱。”她伸出双手。

“我……”

“温柔地抱紧我吧。”

“……”

“一同坠落吧。”

不堪的想法。肮脏的想法。耳鸣的想法。说不出口的想法。不堪的想法。肮脏的想法。耳鸣的想法。说不出口的想法。不堪的想法。肮脏的想法。耳鸣的想法。说不出口的想法。不堪的想法。肮脏的想法。耳鸣的想法。说不出口的想法。

温柔地相拥。

“爱我吧。”

昏暗。交织。温度。呼吸。

呼唤着对方的名字。

只有我们二人听见的低语。

“夜芽……”

“嗯？”伴随着喘息，她说。

“就算我是杀人犯……你也会爱我吗？”

“……哈。”

“嗯？”

她突然大笑了起来，原来我们是一样的人啊。我心想——

她果然就是我堕落的救赎。

MY FALLEN SAVIOR.

约一天前。

又是那样一个下午。

这里是旧校舍的后方，我已经来过这里不知道几次了。

曾因为火灾被焚烧的校舍呈现出红色调。

那个“大个子女”在那，“弱不禁风”和副班长站在她身旁。

又来了。

倒在地上的方诗真。

自私的罪人，我。

“你知道是个什么流程吧。”

对不起，原谅我。

我的罪行不可原谅。

挥下。

三个人在旁边看着，笑着，如同游戏里的玩家。

什么时候才能解脱？

挥下。挥下。挥下。

…

“杀……”耳边传来声音。

是趴在地上的方诗真跪坐了起来。

“杀……了……我……吧。”

这是她一生中跟我说的第一句话，也是最后一句。

……

我犹豫一会，但是看向她祈愿的眼睛后，我明白了我该做的。

挥下。脑浆、血液、脑组织。

方诗真解脱的笑颜。

她停止了动弹。

三人震惊之余，而我则狂奔而出。

终点似乎有些遥远，我泪流满面。但心中却放下了一切。

我明明犯下了杀人的罪，却感到解脱。

奔向救赎。

TO MY SAVIOR.

听到夜芽告诉我这一切之后，我笑了。

我明白了，夜芽。

这个污浊世界中仅有你是如此的澄澈。

你是唯一会宽慰我的人。

你是唯一能理解我的人。

我爱你。

只要你在。

夜芽，我的爱人。

这个房间，三年没拉开窗帘了。

现在夜芽还在陪着我，她就躺在那呢。

我早就不去学校了，现在在打工。

“我出门了哦，夜芽。”

后日谈·尾声

    方诗真死亡一事和云夜芽失踪一事被势力压着。方诗真和云夜芽的家庭都陷入了崩溃状态。

    但三年后，校长偷税的事情走漏风声，两年前的事情终究是纸包不住火。刑警开始重新调查过去的案子，发现与云夜芽相关的韩秋十分可疑。

    首先是韩秋在四年前牵扯的池海“意外”死亡一事。由于池海死亡后，池家全家离开本省，无法询问。于是警方决定亲自会面韩秋。

    警方来到家时，韩秋并没有开门，但根据调查，这个时间他应该在家。此时警方手握搜查令，于是选择破门而入。进门的一瞬间，一阵腐臭味扑鼻而来，警方进入到韩秋的房间，发现一个保鲜膜层层包裹的物体，从保鲜膜的缝里还流出猩红的液体，似乎是个人。

    这时，癫狂状态的韩秋拿着一把菜刀站出来，嘴里喊着“别动云夜芽！”警方这才明白保鲜膜里包裹的很有可能是云夜芽的尸体。警方快速制服了韩秋，并将他列作杀人嫌疑犯。

    不过法医证明了韩秋并未杀害云夜芽，云夜芽的死因是因为子宫癌，初步推测是因为长期无法使用干净的卫生巾导致的，可能是出于韩秋的疏忽大意。

    在警方与心理医生的沟通询问之下，精神完全偏执、崩溃的韩秋勉勉强强地说出了一切的真相，方诗真死亡一事的真相才彻底浮出水面。

    因为池海死亡一事在这起调查中并没有起到重视，故没有翻案。人民检察院对韩秋作不起诉处理。

    当时是个夏天，燥热感与不美好的回忆化开，糊在一起，烂在一块。韩秋登上了他曾就读的学校的楼顶，跳楼自杀了。

*Komorebi* and cicadas. They're announcing the presence of summer. I'm sitting on the chair at the top of our school, watching the city receive the sunlight: sunlit tall buildings, cottages, highways, and the greenway enclosed by a very, very high fence.

I hate summer, the worst of four. The dryness, heat, and those unpleasant memories dissolve, mix, like paste.

I opened the lunch box and wanted to eat my lunch. But when I raised my head, a scary sense intruded my sight, "Eh?"

Usually, nobody would barely come to this rooftop, but now, a girl in a school uniform is standing near the fence - no, beyond the fence.

She took off her shoes and crossed the fence, which means she is ready to commit suicide.

"Hey, what the -"

I ran up to her and quickly pulled her back with the thought "I can't let a girl fall and die on my watch".

So that was how I wrote the meeting between me, Fall Colden and Stamatia Makris, on a page of my life.

"It's so... like, they say I have such problems and..."

Stamatia is complaining about her family with Discord DMs and I'm trying to reply, line by line.

She got a mess in her school, caused her family conflicts, and that made her will of suicide? I think I have to ask about it.

"Would you like to go out with me on Saturday and tell me about it?"

"Wait, you mean, just us?"

Okay, I know that's sudden, but I have to ask her.

"Yep. Cool with it?"

"Cool and... where're we going to?"

"Up to you. Somewhere you feel good."

She thought for a while and I was waiting for her. Doesn't matter if I have no chance to ask, taking her around is a good activity for her, too.

"How about the greenway on the hill?"

You must be kidding...

"How do you think about it?"

"Isn't there too far from the city center?"

"Oh, sorry, is that too troubling?"

"Oh no, just feel free to go there."

Though there was...

... That was a long time ago, but it’s wrong what they say about the past, I’ve learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out. Looking back now, I realize I have been looking down at the bottom of that cliff for the last two years.

"Oh, hi."

Different from the girl speaking on the Internet, Stamatia seems reserved.

"Let's go." I am staring at her and trying my best to smile kindly. I turn my eyes forward. I see the endless greenway with greenery on one side and cliffs on the other enclosed by the extremely high fence.

No physical discomfort. That seems good.

"Hey, Fall..." She suddenly spoke, "What do you want to... ask me?"

"Why were you trying to commit suicide?"I asked bluntly.

"...I..."

"Your family? School?"

"...No..."

Somehow, she seems extremely flustered. I suddenly felt that I was being a bit aggressive.

"It's okay if you don't wanna talk about it. Let's just walk around."

A long silence. To wipe out the awkward silence, Stamatia said:

"May I ask you something?"

"Huh? What is it?"

"Why did you faint that day?"

"Uh..."

Yes, I did.

I fell to the ground after I saved her and my mind came back about two minutes later. As I opened my eyes I saw Stamatia was looking at me with a worried face.

"Well, I was just too nervous."

"That is it..."

"Yeah..."

There's an ear-piercing beeping sound in my ears.

As we kept walking on the greenway, my attention was drawn to two young high-school students on bicycles, they were playing around. And I was trying to keep my attention away from them...

"Those two were quite interesting. Do you ride?"

"No, I don't..."I answered in a low voice.

The sense of memories is beating me violently.

Ocean Chi...

Suddenly, my head started to spin, and the scenery around me began to distort in my vision.

Stamatia noticed how I seemed, and she nervously said: "Is anything wrong, Fall?"

I shook my head and tried my best to calm down, but my head hurt even worse, my view became blurred. At last, it turned unbearable and I fainted.

*The translator of the part: User:HelloYu0910.*

"I'm fine, really. You can just go now, Stamatia."

Even though Fall said something like that, I still can't stop worrying about him. Let's just say, how can I stop worrying about him?

"You have already fainted twice. That surely can't be a coincidence, right?"

"I'm really fine, thanks."

The last word, "thanks", gets slurred, so like those anime characters, that I think he's actually kind of cute.

But, like, what am I doing? You were going to ask me something, but you just fainted... My brain somehow thinks that's a stupid question to ask.

"Ah right, Stamatia. How about we go to the 'StarPatricks' next time?"

"Eh?"

"I noticed you don't really like the urban area, do you? So I think that coffee that's far away from the city is okay." -- He seems to know this point. He has noticed that I don't like to go to those places which are close to the city center.

"It's already half past eight, let's just go home. Otherwise your parents will worry..." He swallowed the sentence, which he had already said halfway.

"It's getting late, you have to be careful when you're outside."

"Oh, all right..."

I...

On the way home from the hospital. As I was walking, I was thinking.

I really like cities. I like that there are people who work in the morning and just hang out at night.

I can't feel the wind tonight, I'm walking down the street, people are passing by. The street lamp lighting the color of the ground, thousands of lights filled with orange light. I'm afraid someone will jump out, grab my hair and throw me into an alley.

I opened my phone and saw one of the messages from IG.

"Come to the back of the old school building on Monday after school, Stamatia Makris."

I can't feel the wind tonight, but it's enough to make me shiver.

It's the back of the old school building which I have come to a bunch of times.

There used to be a fire in the building, it red-colored the building.

The "Big Sis" was standing there, and the "Weak Ass" and our assistant class monitor are standing beside her. I said:

"Today, also...Ah!"

A sudden slap hit on my face.

"Shut you fuck up!"That was by Big Sis.

"Where's that little trick?"

"She gotta be here if she doesn't wanna we public those pics."

"Tch! She's pretty pitied."

These three women are talking chilly, like talking about an afternoon tea.

Maybe they see it as an afternoon tea.

"Ooh. See her?"

"She's late."

Ellest Harceleh is walking slowly here with her lightless eyes. Big Sis grabbed her and threw her on the ground.

"Ya delay pissed me off, bitch!"

"I was doing cleaning..."

"Cleanin'?" Big Sis grabbed a stick and hit on her leg with it violently, "Fuck your cleanin'..."

Harceleh didn't even spill any drop of a tear, she didn't even cry in any voice, like this is how she deserves to be from the beginning.

...

The other two are just laughing at it and recording it with their phone.

The first time, they forced me to watch how they treated her and forced me to do as they said, or they could also do it to me.

I have no choice, just follow their command.

And Harceleh is facing worse.

Some dirty photo of her was taken, so she had to follow them, or her photo would be released, and she would have unimaginable physical torment.

They want me to...

"Here."

Big Sis passed the stick to me.

I've no choice. I don't want, not my fault. No choice. I don't want, not my fault. I've no choice. I don't want, not my fault...

"Old same. Don't terminate, but torment her totally."

I've no choice, forgive me. Not my fault, I don't want, it's not. Forgive me. I've no choice, forgive me. Not my fault, I don't want, it's not. Forgive me. I've no choice, forgive me. Not my fault, I don't want, it's not. Forgive me.

I raised the stick slowly.

...

My sins of selfishness shall go unforgiven, shall not it?

"Welcome." I walked into the coffee.

"Stamatia!" Fall was waving his hand to me, I walked quickly over to him and sat down.

Fall was staring at me and smiling naturally, and I felt a bit shy.

I love the smile on his childish face.

Wait, am I looking good now? Good, right? I picked the cutest hairstyle! At least I think it is! But what about a mature hairstyle? Oooooh man...

But at least I can see he blushed, too.

"Any drink?" He asked.

"Hm, I'll see..." I took the menu from the table, "This weird-named coffee, how can I pronounce it... 'Myu-jen Coffee'?"

He smiled: "It's 'Mugen' (moo-guen), it means 'infinite' or 'unlimited' in Japanese."

"God, it's hard to read."

Different from last time, we're just chatting randomly without talking about any serious topic.

Well, about him, I actually...

Have some feelings.

I felt empty and hollow in my life until my junior high school graduation, nothing was special for me. The only thing I did was just study as possible as I could, and do my best in the exams, and in high school, I met...

There's an ear-piercing beeping sound in my ears now.

You should really stop thinking about it, Stamatia.

...

I just want to be loved, lean on someone, and at least give me some warmth and love.

So I'm going out with Stamatia again, and I'm more nervous than the last time. Maybe it's because this time is more like a date.

I like her bun, it's extremely cute, and it's a contrast to her mature face. That's lovely.

"Hey, Fallie. You got any hobby?"

"I'm afraid there's no anything that's interesting to me, but I do read light novels and play games."

In fact, there is. I used to ride bikes, but two years ago, I had a crush and she was killed. After that, I never used my bike.

Ocean Chi died because of me.

There's an ear-piercing beeping sound in my ears now.

Now, Stamatiaclosed into my heart, which broke. How should I manage this uncontrollable feeling?

And what should I suppose to call this feeling?

And am I able to...

It's quite late. We got out of the coffee while we were talking about hobbies, what characters said in light novels...

"Stam."

"What?"

"Why don't wanna be in urban areas?"

She lowered her head, then lapsed into silence. A complicated light presented itself in her emerald eyes.

"Like, there's someone who I don't wanna see?"

Silence again. I didn't know if I should keep asking. I wonder if it's important.

I asked after I thought.

"Who is that?"

"...I..."

"What... happened?"

I walked in front of her and turned around to her.

She was looking down, some tears came out. And I finally saw that light clearly: Anger. Sorrow. And guilt.

"Can I... believe you?"

Her feelings deep inside, is it just like what I feel deep inside?

Somehow, I threw my arms at her, and she noticed it and then got closer and closer. At last, she closed her eyes and leaned on my chest.

She sobbed, made up her mind, and told me everything happened to her.

Three years ago, Fall Colden.

He was riding his bike on the Greenway as usual. Honestly, the fence was so short that it seemed dangerous. He rode slowly for safety. However, many years later as he read light novels that depicted a dreamy first meeting between the hero and heroine, he was to remember today's incident.

He turned the corner and saw someone on the ground, which made him stop.

A girl was there and he walked to her so he could help her up.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh... Yes, I am..."

Fall saw a scrape on her knee and knew she was acting tough.

"That's a scrape, dude... Let me help you to clean it first."

"Okay. Thank you."

"By the way, your name, please?"

"Oh, my name is Ocean Chi. Nice to meet you."

"I'll help you."

It's what I said, yet I don't know what to do for Stamatia.

As she told me everything in my arms, I couldn't shake the feeling of my chest being stabbed with the knife of words.

I know that's why she has will of suicide is thanks to it so I can't just let it go.

But the situation is not that easy to deal with when the "Big Sis" is the academic "Anti-Bullying Ambassador" (What an irony) and has a father who has a deep "friendship" with the headmaster. The "Weak Ass" is one of the top students who help the school honored. The last girl is the assistant class monitor of them.

We have no way to win.

The only help I can offer is to give her some chance to let out emotions.

I can't stand another person to leave me ever again.

Monday, Stamatia and I are sitting on the chair at the top of our school, and to have lunch.

"Fall, have you had a crush?"

"...I had before."

"What kind of person they were?"

"A girl like the surging ocean."

"Okay..."

I opened the lunch box and wanted to eat my lunch. When I raised my head, the fence that Stamatia used to beyond intruded my sight.

And for now, fortunately, Stamatia is next to me.

I put a note in her hand.

"What's this?"

"It's my address. If something happens, be here."

"...Are you serious?"

"It's the only choice, isn't it?"

Stamatia stared at me. She smiled and turned her head down to eat lunch.

"Thank you," She said in a low voice, which can be heard by just we two.

Two and a half years ago.

Fall was sitting in the room and gazing at the Chinese-inspired courtyard, he could understand how the Chi Family values the Chinese traditional culture.

Aiden Chi, Ocean's younger brother, offered a cup of tea: "It's a *tie-guanyin* for you, sir."

"Thanks. May I see Ocean?"

"As *Jiejie* (Sister) sees your coming as an important thing, she went bathe and dress."

Fall tasted the tea and praised it for its deliciousness.

At this time, Aiden sat next to Fall.

"Have you got a crush on *Jiejie*?"

That line almost made Fall spit out his tea, it's just too surprising.

"I- I- I- I haven't, I mean, no!"

"You know what Qixi Festival stands for, it's called Chinese Valentine's Day! I know you picked up this day that Chinatown gathers people, you're to ask her out!"

"Well..."

"Don't be shy! If you're a man who's trying to date her, just tell her brother: Me!"

"Okay... You're quite right."

"See? I got you right!"

"Are you gonna help me?"

"Am if you will take good care of her."

Aiden turned his head to the lotus leaves in the pond in the courtyard: "However I will warn you that she's not a quiet 'Ocean', she's a surging one, who has a fluctuating personality. As if some better man's here, she may be his one month later."

"Thanks for your warning."

"No thanks. What's more..." Something just hit Aiden, "We're not actually that traditional in Chinese families so the parents don't really care about the romances between the children, like don't you Americans. But I'm still curious what your parents would think."

I smiled when I heard his question: "It has been two years since the last time I saw my parents, to be honest, there were very few times since I was born. I don't know when I started to live alone. All they do is send me money so they can complete their legal obligations."

"Oh, okay..."

"Falla, hey!" Ocean's voice is from the outdoor corridor.

Fall saw that Ocean was in a beautiful *Hanfu*. As Ocean saw Fall was attracted, she let out a gorgeous smile.

Aiden pushed Fall and said, "Just go!" And let out his one.

That date was the most iridescent thing in Fall's life.

The bell rang.

I believe there's no one who would come here but her.

As I put my hand on the door handle, it charged me with a feeling of fate.

I, became, a savior?

The moment I opened the door, Stamatia rushed into my chest.

Then what should I feel now? Is it sadness or happiness?

"Here's your meal!" I brought the omelet to the table in front of Stamatia.

"Thanks." She said in a low voice, just like all her spirit is gone.

"Are you fine? What happened?"

"I don't wanna say..."

I sat next to her and threw my arms around her, then put my head against hers.

"It's okay. Everything's up to you." Close to her ear, whispered me.

After letting her go and she ate up the meal, she repeated that "Thanks".

"No more thanks. I'll sleep on the sofa today, you can go to my room."

"Okay."

I brought her into my room. She saw the photo on my desk. The photo shows Ocean and me.

"This girl in an East Asian traditional outfit..."

"Oh yeah, she's the one I motioned."

"...Okay."

"Yeah... I was going out with her."

It seems Stamatia's interest is sparked: "Well, would you like to talk about it?"

"I... Okay, let me recall..."

It was the final Qixi Festival that Ocean and I shared.

Her cute hanfu and sweet voice made the date that can't ever fade out in my mind.

After the fireworks in Chinatown, we went to an Italian restaurant.

I sat across from her, the candlelight adding to her poise.

"I love it!" Said Ocean.

"Love to have dinner here?"

"And with you..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

Shaking the glass, the ethereal smile appeared on her face again.

"The most perfect day for me." Said she.

"Today? Really?"

"Man, isn't it enough?"She playfully poked her tongue out, "I feel so perfect it's worth dying for."

"No dying please."

"I think I will die romantically."

"Example, please?"

"Example: My lover kills me."

"Ooh, sounds scary."

"And how about you? What do you think about your death?"

"Are you sure we should talk about death on a day like this?"

"C'mon! Just tell me, please~"

"Maybe I'll die of natural causes?"

"Boriiiiiiing, man!"

"Til the age goes, you know. Everyone goes that way."

"Well, I can't stand the high ages because when I'm that old, I can't do anything. Can I still own a 30-year-old body when I'm 90? I wanna be able to do anything I want at any time. I wonder if I can have dreams forever."

"So many things you're to do, huh?"

"Sure thing! I have been hoping for many things, though I'm not working on them, due to force majeure."

"What are you hoping?"

"To participate in the CATTI international exam, to make a visual novel, to learn to draw..."

"Well, there's so many kinds of things."

"I can do everything, you know! The greatest thing I've done was that I learned how to ride bikes!"

"And fell on the Greenway?" I pulled the legs.

"Hey, man!" Smiling, she fisted on me softly.

Then she looked out the floor-to-ceiling windows and said, "I'm really grateful to be able to spend time with a... friend."

"What can friends for you mean?"

She thought carefully for a moment in reverie, "They take me away from loneliness, I guess."

"How about... love?"I asked tentatively.

"I think," The thought process is longer than last time, "It can make my life ethereal and iridecent. What's your opinion?"

"My opinion... is just like yours, I guess."

"I'm in a rich family, I feel the life is easier for me. But the family is not that warm, as you know, our parents are always working on their own business. But, luckily, my brother's with me. And I'm also happy for friends."

"Like how mine goes. But I don't have any siblings."

"But don't you feel lonely?"

"What?"

"I believe there goes a 'No', right? You know, we're both here! We're having dinner together, and we're on each other's side!"

Into her eyes, I saw the reflection of my inner feeling beating.

She shook her juice-filled glass, the candlelight swaying with it, her cherry-colored lips illuminated seductively.

"Falla..."

"Ye- Yes?"

"You said, *til the age goes', huh?"*
"...I did."

"Then, what's the meaning of your life?"

"...I don't know."

She hesitated for a moment and said, "Then, for the time being, could you please..."

There was a second's pause as if she had made up her mind.

"See me as the meaning?"

"We took that photo when it was over. As usual, I put it in the draw, but I was tidying up my room. So, yeah."

"Wait, does that mean you failed it?"

"It's... Just, don't care 'bout it. You know, people come, people go, it's usual."

"Well..."

I didn't tell her that I'm still hiding another memory about Ocean. Rotten memory.

Which caused the fence on the Greenway to get higher.

"Could you please stop annoying anyone about him?"

Once it went out from Ocean, I felt my heart cut apart first time.

About two years ago.

Before that incident happened, there were two months that I didn't get in touch with Ocean so much.

It was because of our extremely difficult midterm exams that you would get extreme punishment if you failed, but Ocean was in an easier school.

Without me, I doubt she would take this loneliness herself.

So, I shouldn't complain that another man appeared at her side. We're just friends, so no matter how my crush on her is, I can't force her to be mine.

But the thing was more complicated than it seemed.

It was an afterschool time, and a boy in our school was talking with a girl he was dating. The boy's face rang the bell.

Outside of school, I opened IG and understood what on the earth this déjà vu came from.

going out with simon xd man im so cute

I thought Dammit, that's not right. No, maybe they're just friends? But I kept scrolling, I felt scarier.

Words and attitudes of affair.

Trying to please her intentionally.

As my heart got cold struggle, I sent a message to Ocean immediately.

"That guy in your IG 'stories'?"

"Pardon?"

"I saw that guy was doing bill and coo with another girl."

"There must be some misseeing."

"Trust me."

A second pause.

"Don't go this way, please."

"All I said is true! You have to keep away from that guy!"

"Could you please stop having 'that guy' ad nauseam?"

...

And then, I sent messages to Aiden and he decided to trust me. He said, "I will talk with Jiejie."

However, minutes later, I received a message from Ocean:

"Could you please stop annoying anyone about him?"

Damn for I suddenly got it.

You made a whole year with your heart, but it's not as worthy as the two months that someone designed intentionally.

You were her side for a whole year, but you lost to a cunning fox.

Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves. Tricks, victims, disbelieves.

"Sorry..." Said me.

"No, my bad. I shouldn't speak that way."

"...Tomorrow. Can you go riding with me on the Greenway tomorrow?"

"Huh? What about your exam, isn't it coming?"

"I can manage."

"Oh...okay."

Inside the apart heart of me, a gorgeous rose grew, and its thorn of dark showed up.

I was designing it all intentionally.

Sunset. Golden sunlight.

I kept a chain vice in the basket on the front of my bike.

"Sorry for the delay." Walked from far away Ocean.

"It's okay."

I got on my bike.

"I apologize for what I said last night I shouldn't speak like that." Said her again,

"No, it was my fault."

As if to pull it off, she said, "Riding together, like in the old days."

"Yeah."

As we moved forward, the silence went deeper and deeper.

At one point, I stopped.

"Can you go for some drinks?"

There was a vending machine nearby. I was always the one who gets the water if we came on a ride, so she froze the first time she heard what I said and then let out a "Yes".

As she walked away, I took out the chain vice.

Just help her like what I did when we met up.

Just help her better like how you designed.

Just let it be how it should be.

Then she will be nice to me, not him.

Loosen the chain.

"Here we go."

She gave the drink to me. Thanked me, in a high level of mental stress.

If I can make her keep away from him.

Kept riding.

The night had already fallen, so we turned on the flashlight.

Suddenly some gorgeous fireworks rose into the lightless sky, yet I had no will to appreciate.

"It's so amazing, just like what we..."

She started to lose control of the bike now.

"What-"

Her bike went uncontrollably to the right, and what I should have done was stop right there and-

Before I could stop, her bike hit the fence. She fell outward uncontrollably, I had no time even if I rushed into her.

Death.

Looked down at the bottom and my mind stopped for a second.

There's an ear-piercing beeping sound in my ears. As I recall, I know it's harder than every time after that.

Fireworks kept blooming. For neither of us.

Inside the dimly lit utility room, I saw the bike that had been left in the corner for two years to gather dust, and I looked at it silently before turning around and walking out of the utility room.

What's the meaning of my life now?

"Staying up, are you?"

Stamatia walked out of the room.

I pinched her face, and pulled the leg "Hey, look who's talking."

"Well...I can't fall asleep."

Then it seemed like she made up her mind for something and said: "Come chat with me." And walked into the room.

She sat on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.

"I'm so lucky that you're by my side."

"I just did what I should do."

"...Further than that."

"Huh?"

"You saved me, you really did. From this cruelest world."

"Stam..."

"When I thought that no one can help me..."

"I did will help you..."

What for? That's also the question for me.

"See? That's you. Who's so gentle... and yielding..." She turned her gaze on me and kept saying.

Being yielding... huh?

It's just because I don't want to make anyone get hurt ever again.

"At the moment we met up and saw each other..."

Oh, at the moment we met up and saw each other.

"...I could vaguely redirect you to become my savior."

I could vaguely redirect you to become my savior.

She lied backward.

New Testament.

The Saviors.

"Let me feel your hug again."

"I..."

"Hug me as yielding as you can."

"..."

"Fall for all."

Rotten mind. Dirty mind. Ear-piercing mind. Unspeakable mind. Rotten mind. Dirty mind. Ear-piercing mind. Unspeakable mind. Rotten mind. Dirty mind. Ear-piercing mind. Unspeakable mind. Rotten mind. Dirty mind. Ear-piercing mind. Unspeakable mind. Rotten mind. Dirty mind. Ear-piercing mind. Unspeakable mind. Rotten mind. Dirty mind. Ear-piercing mind. Unspeakable mind.

Yielding hug.

"Love me."

Dim room. Became one. Your warmth. Your breath.

Call me by my name.

The voice can be heard by just us two.

"Stam..."

"Huh?" Her voice was a mixture of gasps.

"Will you keep your love for me even if I'm a murderer?"

"...Ha."

"What?"

She laughed out aloud. Oh, so we're the same. I thought-

So I'm right about who you are.

You're my Fallen Savior.

About one day ago.

An afternoon like usual.

It's the back of the old school building which I have come to a bunch of times.

There used to be a fire in the building, it red-colored the building.

The "Big Sis" was standing there, and the "Weak Ass" and our assistant class monitor are standing beside her.

Again.

Harceleh who's lying on the ground.

Me, who has the unforgivable sins of selfishness.

"Y'know how da do. "

Sorry, forgive me.

While my sins can't be forgiven.

Stick lowered, hit.

The trio was looking at us like video game players watching the NPCs.

When will we be relieved?

Stick lowered, hit. Stick lowered, hit. Stick lowered, hit.

...

"Ki..." A voice came to my ear.

It was Harceleh, she sat up on her knees.

"Kill... me... please."

In her life, it was her first three words to me, and the last three words.

...

A moment of pause, and I saw her gaze of hope. I understood what I should have done.

Stick lowered, hit. Cerebral plasma, blood, and brain tissue.

And Harceleh's smile of her relief.

Her "is" became "was".

At the moment that the trio was shocked, I speeded away as I could.

It seems there's a long, long way to go, while the tears don't mean sorrow. Everything awful became a "no".

I became a murderer, yet I became relieved.

Now run with my blessings from God.

Into my own Savior.

After Stamatia told me everything, I laughed out.

Yeah, I got it all, honey.

You're the only clean person in this dirty world.

My only forgiving grace.

My only understanding angel.

I love you.

All I need is you.

Stamatia. My lover.

I haven't opened the curtains in three years.

Stamatia is still by my side, she's lying there.

I stopped going to school a long time ago, working instead.

"I'm leaving, Stam."

Sequel - Epilogue

  The death of Harceleh and the disappearance of Stamatia are being held down by forces. Both Harceleh's and Stamatia's families are in a state of collapse.

  But three years later, the tax evasion of the headmaster leaks out and the tax bureau intervenes at the same time that the events of two years ago are exposed. The FBI begins to re-investigate the past cases and finds the Fall who related to Stamatia is very suspicious.

  The first thing is the "accident" of Ocean is related to Fall. However, the families of Ocean moved from the State. The questioning can't be going. It makes the investigators face Fall themselves.

  When they came to Fall's place and knocked on the door, no one opened the door. With a search warrant in hand, the investigators chose to break down the door. The moment they enter, a putrid odor hits their nostrils. The investigators enter Fall's room and find an object wrapped in layers of plastic wrap, with scarlet liquid oozing out from the seams of the plastic wrap, which appears to be a person.

  Suddenly, at this point, Fall in a state of madness with a kitchen knife out, shouting "Keep away from Stamatia Makris!" The investigator then realized that what was wrapped in the plastic wrap was most likely the body of Stamatia. They quickly subdued Fall and listed him as a murder suspect.

  However, the forensic pathologist proved that Fall did not kill Stamatia and that Stamatia's cause of death was due to uterine cancer, which was initially hypothesized to be caused by the long-term inability to use clean sanitary napkins, possibly due to Fall's carelessness.

Under the communication and questioning of the investigators and psychiatrists, Fall, who was completely paranoid and collapsed, reluctantly told the truth about everything, and finally, the truth about Harceleh's death was unearthed completely.

  Because the death of Ocean did not play an important role in this investigation, it did not be overturned. The Procuratorate dealt with Fall as a non-prosecution.

  That was a summer, the dryness, heat, and those unpleasant memories dissolve, mix, like paste. Fall climbed to the roof of the school he had attended and jumped off, for his suicide.