The Ballad of Guskin the Gophertaur

**The Ballad of Guskin the Gophertaur** is a song from "The Hootenanny". Musically, the instrumental makes references to Holes Matter, So Cold, What You Need, The Hero of My Story (Comfortable Doug), The Power of Privilege, and And We Do This Everyday.

## Lyrics

**[Gophertaur]**
**[moletaurs vocalizing backup]**
In the underground
There's no shortage of pretty things
And the wormtaurs
And the moletaurs got no eyes
So sit back
With a hot stein full of corn dogs
**[Moletaurs]**
Corn dogs
**[Gophertaur]**
And I'll tell you
Of the most beautiful guy
He's Guskin the Gophertaur
Look at him go
Watch him dig with his powerful thighs
**[Moletaurs]**
Thighs
**[Gophertaur]**
Oh, he's Guskin the Gophertaur
You'll fall in love
Everybody!
**[Gophertaur and moletaurs]**
With his beautiful gophertaur eyes
**[Group plus Albatrosstaurs, Horse, and Wammawink]**
He's Guskin the Gophertaur
Look at him go
[singing continues under dialogue]

**Ched:** Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. The holetaurs are, but, uh, you just watch. [chuckling] It gets better. | **[Gophertaur and moletaurs]**
Watch him dig with his powerful thighs
He's Guskin the Gophertaur

**[All holetaurs]**
...With his beautiful gophertaur eyes
His beautiful gophertaur...
**[Gophertaur]**
...ice.
**Gophertaur:** Wait a minute. Ice? What's this ice doin' in my hole?
**[Kwhass-ón and Laroub]**
What's this hole doin' around our ice?
**[Gophertaur]**
Move it over there
**[Moletaurs]**
You should follow his advice
**[Laroub]**
But we need it for the hootenanny
**[Kwhass-ón]**
You know, we
**[Kwhass-ón and Laroub]**
brought it all the way here
**[Kwhass-ón]**
We like to keep it nice
But if we put it over there
Then there'll be trashtaurs by our ice
**[Pigeontaur]**
You're always blamin' trashtaurs
We make the planets gross
But we're pickin' up your garbage
Let me tell ya somethin', folks
If you don't want
Trashtaurs coming round
Then throw your stuff away
Don't leave garbage on the ground!
If you don't want
Trashtaurs coming round
Then put your stuff into the bin
You ding-dongs
Don't leave garbage on the ground!
**[Treetaur shamans]**
Loud
You guys are loud and annoying
**[Pigeontaur]**
Thank you!
**[Treetaur shamans]**
It was so hard for us
Just to come and be a part of this
**[Big Tree]**
We pulled our roots up
Out of the ground
**[Treetaur shamans]**
And rode a whaletaur across the sea
Just so a bunch of birdtaurs
Could nest in us
And use our bodies as a restroom

Comfortable Doug
Comfortable, Comfortable Doug
Comfortable Doug, Comfortable Doug
Comfortable Doug! | **[Crandy]**
Comfortable D
Comfortable D
Dee, dee, Comfortable D, D, D

Malandrew! | ***[Message bird]***
[not heard on album] *Dee!* | **[Malandrew]**

**Malangella:** Malandrew!
**Malandrew:** Yes?
**[Malangella]**
Would you please bring Mommy her hat?
I'd like to go home
Guess what Mommy just learned?
It turns out, I like cats!
**[Malandrew]**
Oh, but Grandmama
**[Malangella]**
Who, me?
**[Malandrew]**
You're not my mom
**[Malangella]**
Ha ha, that's silly!
**[Malandrew]**
My mom went missing years ago
**[Zimples and cataurs]**
Fine! Everything is fine
Making biscuits with my feet
Or draped across the beach
**[Glitter Cats]**
A-diddly yes
**[Zimples and cataurs]**
And nothing bothers me
**Madame Jelly's keyboard:** [meow meow meow meow meow]

## Video

Centaurworld - Ballad of GuskinStoryboard animatic by Charlie Bryant, storyboarder