recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Jim Norton (Episode)

**Jim Norton** is the third episode of the rebooted fifth series/spinoff of The Osbournes, also known as The Osbournes Podcast. It originally aired on the 19th March 2018.

## Summary

In this episode, comedian, radio host and close family friend, Jim Norton takes over the Osbourne Podcast and does a deep dive into the family dynamic. Jim asks Jack and Kelly about their “altruistic” motives for doing the show, and as a result, learns some of the unforeseen consequences derived from the show’s massive success. The family also discusses the perils of mixing business with family, with the example of when Sharon threw Caviar at Jack on Christmas Day. Jim explores the Osbournes life-style post-TV show and how embracing their flaws didn’t just make for great TV, it also reminded us why we fell in love with them in the first place.

## Memorable Quotes

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## Trivia

* Burt McCracken is mentioned in this episode and it is revealed that Kelly (and Jack for that matter) has made a means with Burt, becoming good friends with him and his family, she's even met his children on some occasions.
* It is revealed the series ended because Kelly and Jack had enough of the cameras. Ozzy and Sharon were indifferent.
* Sharon reveals she hated what journalists said about Kelly during The Osbournes.
Bye Bye Babies

**Bye Bye Babies** is the eighteenth episode of the second series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on the August 5, 2003.

## Summery

Jack and Robert fly to England to spend time at the Osbournes' other home. Jack shows Robert the house and introduces him to the family's oldest dog, Sugar. Some of Jack's friends also come over to hang out with them and drink. Lola grows lonely and bored because she misses Jack so much. Sharon also laments the departures of both Jack and Kelly, who is away on tour.

Meanwhile, Ozzy uncovers an old keyboard from his Black Sabbath days and tries to get it working again. He also becomes fascinated with carrot cake, but Pete tries to stop him from overdoing it. Jack and Kelly return home and are reunited with their loved ones.

## Memorable Quotes

"*Fuck, Y'know I better get out of here.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Fuck, where do they get the energy from? Christ Almighty!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*This thing's fucking awesome when it gets going! It's got a Sabbath on the back from 1973. Smell it!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I've gotta drop fucking acid. You won't be seeing me for a fucking few days now. Lock myself away with some fucking music now.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I don't use condoms. I secretly have eleven children on the way.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Fucking crazy woman, you!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Dad, don't fucking start getting fruity in my room.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*I'm not having that shit in my fucking house. I'll get fucking busted every fucking day, man. I'll be fucking hung by the fucking balls on Friday.* "
— Ozzy on the Breathalyzer

"*Dude, we're going to England. There ain't no sun in England.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Stop trying to be this fucking perfect woman!*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*I am special! I've got you as a daughter, and I've got daddy as my husband.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*I'm being busted by my own kids, man.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*That's not Pete-Approves though.*"
— Pete

"*Fuck the little ones, this is where the real dogs are at!*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Go dog, fetch! You gotta go that way, fetch! Ether you're gonna breath it in through your ass or you're gonna throw it and run for the ball, y'know like normal dog.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Andy, you goddamn venereal disease.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*No riding bikes drunk, and no playing with guns!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Slow the fuck down, cunt!*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*I'll have to get Minnie pregnant so she can have babies so we can take care of.* "
— Sharon Osbourne

"*I'm like the nutty professor!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

## Trivia

* Many of the quotes from Robert criticizing the England home where added in my MTV, according to Jack Osbourne.
Michael

Mike as he appeared in The Osbournes

"*My name is Michael and I hired as the security for the Osbournes, hired to watch Ozzy Osbourne and Mrs Sharon Osbourne house, I walk around a perimeters, I walk outside I check the whole house, the doors, back rooms, kitchen. Make sure everything's okay.*"
— Michael

**Michael** is the security guard of the Osbourne residence and is responsible for protecting the Osbourne family.

## Role in the Osbournes

Michael is given a special role, being introduced in the first ever episode of The Osbournes where he greets Sharon Osbourne and discusses his role in the household. Michael is seen as a fan of Ozzy Osbourne by the fact that he owns a Ozzy T-shirt, he also a close friend of the Osbourne family as seen when he plays pool and talks to the children. Michael later joins Ozzy in watching *The Tonight Show* where he watches Ozzy's "live" performance on the show.

Michael makes odd appearances here and there through the first series but by the Christmas special he made another major role. As Ozzy was out doing his concert, Michael and his young son came onto the Osbourne presence despite it not being a day he works, later Michael and his son are caught supposedly stealing from the neighbors while wearing one of Ozzy's T-shirts. Michael is arrested, he returns to Sharon and claims that he wasn't stealing anything but was threatened by the neighbors. In the bonus section of the DVD it is revealed that Michael was collecting a check with his son, with the help of Melinda when police arrested him, though it turned out it was a case of mistaken identity as Michael was released soon after. Despite not being fired, Michael makes no appearances outside of Series 1 for unknown circumstances, this is confirmed in the commentary by Sharon and Jack Osbourne who claim he never came back.
Laura Gwiazdon

"*Laura is 25 and she put her money where her mouth is, actually borrowed and gone into dept to make this donation to these children in Uganda.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

**Laura Gwiazdon** is a mega fan of The Osbournes and Ozzy Osbourne who appeared in the fourth series of the original run. She infamous for her over-obsession of the Osbourne family.

## Role in The Osbournes

Laura has always loved Ozzy since she was two years old and has been obsessed with meeting him. Laura had worked at a Pizza Restaurant and had gone to see Ozzy on stage multiple times in the past. Laura claims that she had started to work on her own musical career under the name *Laura Darkpraisestar*, she even learnt how to play drums. She had entered a bid of $20,100 to make an appearance on The Osbournes with the money going to charity, obviously this meant she went into debt as a result .

Sharon Osbourne announced on her talk show that Laura had done the deed to visit the Osbourne family. A very excited Laura stayed with the Osbourne family over the course of a few days, during which she consistently asked for autographs, attempted to show off her singing skills and exploring the home. However, not all were welcoming of Laura with Kelly Osbourne being highly critical of her and believing that strangers should not be in their home. Sharon eventually discovers that Laura spent almost all her fortune to be with the Osbournes and becomes guilty, feeling that she should get half her money back at the very least. Eventually, Laura leaves as happy as she was when she arrived.

## Trivia

* Many fans claimed that Laura was an actress sent in to mock overly obsessed fans, except it wasn't and many articles were released as well as social media accounts at the time proving Laura's behaviour was genuine.

## References

1. ↑  http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/ozzy-osbourne-fan-bids-20-000-to-get-on-an-episode-of-the-osbournes/
Lola

Lola as she appeared in the first series of The Osbournes

"*Lola is very big and boisterous and adorable but um...*"
— Sharon Osbourne

**Lola** is a dog that is owned by the Osbourne family, she alongside Minnie tend to get the most attention and Lola is often considered Jack's dog.

## Role in The Osbournes

Lola is introduced from the very first episode in Series 1. She is described by Sharon Osbourne as boisterous as well as very destructive. Lola at first is very destructive, destroying Ozzy Osbourne's chair and slippers. Lola is soon sent away to be trained after she defecated in multiple places in the house, this greatly upsets Jack and Ozzy who love her very much. Lola does return and Jack swims with her as well as parties with her, which gets her sick. Lola throughout the series is depicted as the "main" dog appearing in almost nearly every episode. Ozzy has a fake bulldog which he has used to annoy Lola with, this is used for the Series 1 opening.

Later in the series the Osbournes get two other bulldogs who end up bulling and attacking Lola.

## Trivia

* Lola appears in the most advertising and promotion out of all the other pets.
* Ozzy Osbourne uploaded a picture of Lola on his Instagram on the 4th of January 2017 to promote an episode of The Osbournes.
* Unfortunately, Lola died age 12 in 2012 shortly after the birth of Jack's child.
* Jack mentions that he still love Lola during the 2018 podcast, calling her "precious".

## References

1. ↑ https://www.instagram.com/p/BO2PK4qjNGy/?taken-by=ozzyosbourne&hl=en
2. ↑ http://people.com/pets/jack-osbournes-bulldog-lola-dies/
List of Known Events during The Osbournes

This is a dedicated list of all known major events that took place during the filming of The Osbournes TV Show, many of which have consequences throughout the series during and behind the scenes.

The list does not cover historical topics such as 9/11 and the War on Terrorism that did have major impacts on The Osbournes but are only relevant behind the scenes and do not fully relate to the show.
Kelly Interrupted

**Kelly Interrupted** is the forth episode of the fourth and final series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on February 7, 2005.

## Summery

Kelly irritates her mother by getting a lip ring. Ozzy and Jack are convinced that Kelly's erratic behavior and chronic illness are the result of drug use, but Sharon refuses to hear of it. Kelly eventually admits the truth to Sharon and enters rehab. Ozzy and Sharon don't believe she will stay at the facility for long.

## Memorable Quotes

"*Kelly, Please! Your mother will go fucking insane!*"
— Melinda Varga

"*Kelly's not one for making good decisions for herself.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*She's just a child, she's growing, learning, I hope she's learnt.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*She an accident waiting to happen.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*She's what?! No, you get that fucking thing out of her lip right now!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*She's gone with that skunking cunt Sarah!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Why is she trying to fuck her face up?*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I'm glad I'm not the problem child anymore.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Kelly, what the fuck is up with you? You trying to be Miss Nasty today?*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Why don't you do one thing. Get a baseball bat and smack yourself in the face. Get it over with.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Rad, Bad and fucking mad.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I know exactly what she's done, all fucked up with drugs and all that.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Just look at the variables in this equation. She's randomly wrote Brad a check for a thousand dollars, she's fucking going to Malibu, hanging out in Malibu even though she hates Malibu. No hanging about-wearing sunglasses inside. You even said you noticed her pupils have been restricted.* "
— Jack Osbourne

"*I love her but she's a fucking drug addict and mum keeps defending her.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Our Security Guard just came in with Sarah's clothes but I want you to know 100% that Sarah is not allowed anywhere near Kelly. No, Sandra! I don't want to hear your hubblty, bubblty bullshit! I'm just telling you; KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER, SHE NOT WELCOME IN MY HOME, NEITHER ARE YOU, YOUR A FUCKING FRUITLOOP, THAT TELLS FORTUNES! YOU'RE BOTH HUSTLERS! YOU'RE A FUCKING HUSTLER, TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER AND FUCK OFF, YOU FUCKING CUNT!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Sharon...What's up? It's not your fault.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne, shocked by the massive rant

"*Once you fucking take drugs, it steals your soul!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

## Trivia

* Clips of this episode is used in the *God Bless Ozzy Osbourne* Documentary
* This episode is considered a fan favourite, in fact Sharon Osbourne's phone call has lived in infamy.
* For very obvious reasons this is the only episode Sarah appears in during Series 4 (and 3 for that matter and is her last appearance.
Carnie Wilson (Episode)

**Carnie Wilson** is the ninth episode of the rebooted fifth series/spinoff of The Osbournes, also known as The Osbournes Podcast. It originally aired on the 7th May 2018.

## Summary

Carnie Wilson is a singer, songwriter, and television personality, but for the last two years she’s turned a baking hobby into a successful business. She’s also a close family friend of the Osbournes, and sits down to share personal stories about her lovable cousin, Jonah, what it’s like to scale the music world in the shadow of her legendary father, The Beach Boys’ Brian Wilson, and being part of the hit comedy Bridesmaids!

## Memorable Quotes

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## Trivia

* Kelly reveals she is a vegan in this episode.
* This is, currently, Ozzy's last appearance on the show.
The Osbournes

**The Osbournes** was a Reality TV show program featuring the domestic life of heavy metal singer Ozzy Osbourne and his family. The series premiered on MTV on March 5, 2002, and, in its first season, was cited as the most-viewed series ever on MTV. The final episode aired on March 21, 2005. A attempted revival was released in 2009 called Osbournes Reloaded, it failed to impress after one episode.

In 2018, The Osbournes returned with a spinoff Podcast series. The first episode airing on March 5th 2018.

## Overview

In addition to metal musician Ozzy, the show features his wife and manager Sharon , and their children Jack and Kelly. The Osbournes other daughter, Aimee, who refused to participate in the show and publicly criticized her parents for their antics on the show. In most family photos shown on the show, she is either absent or blurred, however, she is mentioned throughout the series mainly by Kelly. The series also followed the family as they dealt with major events such as Sharon's battle with cancer, and the aftermath of an ATV accident that nearly killed Ozzy.

Concurrent with the success of the series, Kelly Osbourne launched a brief career as a singer, while Sharon Osbourne hosted The Sharon Osbourne Show. The family also parodied their TV series during cameo appearances at awards shows, and in the film Austin Powers in Goldmember. Throughout the series there are cameo appearances of many other celebrities such as Marilyn Manson, Courtney Love and Natalie Portman.

Regular appearances consist of nanny Melinda and Robert, whom Sharon took him in during the second season after his mother died of cancer. While a constant presence in front of the camera, few plots revolved around Robert and he had few lines.

## Rewards

As well as achieving the highest ratings in MTV history, The Osbournes won a 2002 Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Reality Program.

## Releases

Only seasons one and two (released in two sets as season two and two 1/2 or 2.5) have been released on DVD.

The Osbourne Family Album, a various artists compilation based on the show, was released in June 2002.

The Osbournes podcast was available to watch on the official Osbournes Podcast on iTunes for free.
Kavarl

**Ark Kavarl** was one of the major Dito Arks constructed by the Azken empire.

## Overview

A majority of the Kavarl is comprised of chambers containing millions of stasis pods with millions of colonists belonging to the Dito class.

## History

The Kavarl was constructed in the Anlon system alongside the Dakara.

During the Arrival, the Kavarl landed near Kiev in Russia. After the crashes of the Kavarl and the Dakara, Czar Alexander II ordered the ships to be searched and all the aliens inside to be rounded up. All colonists were placed in Tabir, a camp on the outskirts of Kiev.
Jack Black

Jack Black as her appeared in the advertisements for The Osbournes

**Jack Black** is an American actor, comedian, writer, producer, and singer. His acting career has been extensive, starring primarily in comedy films. He is the lead vocalist of the comedic rock group Tenacious D which he formed in 1994 with friend Kyle Gass.

## Role in The Osbournes

Jack only appeared in the advertisements for the show and never in the actual show. Here he dresses up as a younger Ozzy Osbourne and sings about the adventures that the family go through and why the audience shouldn't miss the latest series.
Sheryl Underwood (Episode)

**Sheryl Underwood** is the fourth episode of the rebooted fifth series/spinoff of The Osbournes, also known as The Osbournes Podcast. It originally aired on the 26th March 2018.

## Summary

Sheryl Underwood is a host, writer, producer and actress that has overcome all odds to become one of the most sought after and hardest working comediennes in the biz’. Starting with her humble beginnings on Chicago’s notorious South Side, Sheryl lays out the incredibly hilarious and heartfelt journey of how she went from military woman to owner of a multi-media empire. Underwood has starred in legendary daytime dramas like THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS, serves alongside BFF Sharon Osbourne on CBS’s Emmy Award Winning talk, and also hosts and produces “Sheryl Underwood Radio - THE APP,” which is an all-access pass to entertaining and enlightening conversations covering relationships, entertainment, sports and hot topics.

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## Trivia

* It is revealed that the first time Sheryl met Sharon, Sharon vomited on her and had diarrhoea in Sheryl's car.
* This episode contains the most expletives than any other episode in the 2018 Series.
* At 1hr 40min 53sec this episode is the longest in the entire history of The Osbournes.
Ozzy's Ten Commandments

**Ozzy's Ten Commandments** was a special feature on the The Osbournes/ The First series DVD. It features Ozzy Osbourne discussing what his ten commandments for the best family life.

## The Ten Commandments

1. Thou awaketh before noon (Don't get up before twelve)
2. Thou shall calleth mother a shriveled aged vagina (Call your mother a cunt)
3. Chastise father for snorting Columbia off the map (Criticize father for being a junkie)
4. Thou shall cling tight to the moneybelt of thy father (Don't work)
5. Continue to cling tight to the moneybelt of thy father (Get what ever you want)
6. Peal thy father's moneybelt from his loin (Get the appropriate items)
7. Pawn thy father's moneybelt for hip clothes and pizza (use Ozzy's credit card to buy items)
8. Thou shall keep thy mother talking to thy dogs for sanity (Keep Sharon from talking to her pets)
9. Thou shall keep thy father wet (Keep Ozzy outside in the rain)
10. Popcorn! Popcorn! (Ozzy's tenth and eleventh commandment)
Return of the Ring

**Return of the Ring** is the fourth episode of the third series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on February 17, 2004.

## Summery

Ozzy loses a diamond pinkie ring that is worth over $100,000. He becomes obsessed with trying to find it, and pleads with Sharon not to buy any more jewelry. She doesn't pay attention to his decree, and also buys his and her Bentleys. Ozzy eventually finds the ring, but is upset to learn that Sharon plans to buy Kelly a ring for her birthday. Meanwhile, one of the dogs, Colin, has to be fixed because he continuously humps everything in sight.

## Memorable Quotes

"*I make it and she spends all the fucking money!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Where's my fucking pinkie ring?!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Colin, please be nice, don't do that.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Do not buy me anymore fucking jewelry.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*You sound like me when I was five.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Jesus could come down and touch you and you'd still find a way to...um... make it dark.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Haven't you got enough of your own?*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Shhh! They're down stairs!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Here, Sharon, wear this fucking chandelier!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*When I lose something, I get really pissed off and edgy, y'know?*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*If I'm honest you shouldn't buy anymore jewelry.*"
— Tony Dennis

"*Women are all the same, they love spending doe!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I never ask for the fucking ring! I've gotta go back on the road and make some more doe! Enough fucking doe for our old age, y'know! A $100,000 ring! A Pinkie Ring! What do we think we are?! My finger ain't worth that much!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*We've lost so many things, Ozzy, I'm not gonna let this be lost.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Colin's gone to get his balls chopped off.*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*You'd do that if you had your balls ripped off.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne, after Colin urinates on the floor

"*Ozzy, why couldn't you put the ring back in the box?!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*It's Kelly's Birthday, what am I gonna do get her clothes? That's ridiculous!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Shit! Are you fucking nuts?!*"
— Ozzy upon hear Sharon buying a new diamond ring
Nyan

## Description

Nyan is a member of staff at the 'Clothing Emporium'. She's quite shy, but is nevertheless very helpful in showing customers around the store. Her mother, Leotie, used to own it under the name, "Golden Threads".

When going on your first date with Nyan, you will encounter her mother in Nyan's mother who will question you on how well you know Nyan. Answering any of these questions incorrectly will end the event immediately. Answering them all correctly will allow you to have sex with Nyan, as well having Leotie gain affection towards you.

Answers to Leotie's Quesitons:

1. Favorite food: Tsipoura (+1 Affection)
2. What did Nyan do for her mother in the morning: Bake Pastries (+2 Affection)
3. What was Leotie's store called: Golden Threads (+3 Affection)
4. Favorite flower: Daisies (+4 Affection)
5. Favorite book: One Day in June (+5 Affection)
Lisa Osbourne (Episode)

**Lisa Osbourne** is the eighth episode of the rebooted fifth series/spinoff of The Osbournes, also known as The Osbournes Podcast. It originally aired on the 1st May 2018.

## Summary

Becoming an Osbourne isn't easy. Some would even liken it to being jumped into a gang. But who would know better than Lisa Stelly, Jack's wife? She's a Southern belle from Louisiana who's confidently overcome the hardships of LA, made a name as a model for video and print, and is now a thriving entrepreneur and the mother of three beautiful girls. In this episode, Lisa opens up about moving to Los Angeles against her parent's will, how Jack courted her in a wild nightclub and what it was like meeting the Sharon and Ozzy for the first time!

## Memorable Quotes

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## Trivia

* This marks the first appearance of Lisa Osbourne on The Osbournes, she did however appear in Jack and Ozzy's World Detour before hand.
* This episode was released 17 days before Jack and Lisa would separate.
* Interestingly, this episode has no title card. This could be because of the divorce.
* Despite appearing, Ozzy has little to no dialogue. This is due to being "tired" and preparing for his tour.
The Ozz Man and the Sea

**The Ozz Man and the Sea** is the third episode of the second series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on the December 17, 2002.

## Summery

Kelly travels to Europe for a series of interviews and appearances. She is upset when her bag is lost (apparently seized by security because of concerns over her gun-shaped pin), leaving her without any extra underwear. She first visits Germany, where she deals with several adoring fans and tries to fake her way through a radio interview conducted in German ("That's amazing. I always don't know what to say"). Kelly then goes to England to perform "Papa Don't Preach" on Top of the Pops. Jack heads to North Carolina to film a guest spot for Dawson's Creek.

Sharon is depressed about the fact that everyone is away at the same time. Ozzy tries to cheer her up by building a fire outside the beach house so that she can spend some time outside. The fire department gives him some advice on building a pit for the fire, but the ocean is not very cooperative ("Stop! Go to Alaska! No, no, no, no. You fucking asshole ocean! No!"). When the fire finally gets going, Ozzy gives Sharon a good laugh when he tries to catch a fish in the ocean—and ends up falling over.

## Memorable Quotes

"*Ocean? Not my place, man! I was born on land, I'm no fucking deep sea diver!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Everybody's gone this week, I hate this week!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*No drinking, no drugging!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Where do I live?*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Fuck me,man, I'm terrified of flying!*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*My fucking bag is lost! I want my fucking bag!*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*It came up on the screen and it was "that big" and I shit you not it looked like a fucking real gun.*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*Don't screw your face up, there's nothing wrong with my knickers.*"
— Melinda

"*This was the first attempt, failed miserably. Take two, where the fuck's the second one?*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Fuck off! Fuck off! Stop! Go to Alaska! No, no, no, no. You fucking asshole ocean! No! I feel like a fucking construction worker!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*It fucking will be in about ten minutes. I'm gonna put more logs on it.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I Am Log Man!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I did a pretty good job getting up this morning, you must admit.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Fish like cheese...Sometimes. Some fish like cheese.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*We're trying to catch Moby Dick.*"
— Sharon Osbourne
Episode 5

**This article is a disambiguation page for Episode 5**

The following is a list of links to pages that might share the same title.

Please follow one of the disambiguation links below or search to find the page you were looking for if it is not listed. If an internal link led you here, you may wish to change the link to point directly to the intended article.

This is a guide for each of the episode 5's from The Osbournes.

* Tour of Duty (Series 1)
* Smells Like Teen Spirits (Series 2)
* The Accidental Tourist (Series 3)
* 28 Days Later (Series 4)
* Family Health (Podcast)
Owen Paul

Owen Paul

"*Darling the wicked witch has nothing on me! You're already living next to the neighbors from Hell! C'mon big boy! Come here! C'mon cocky little Englishman! Come over here little rich boy! Living off mommy and daddy's money, do you?!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

**Owen Paul** is a Scottish singer, best known in the UK for his 1986 No. 3 hit single, "My Favourite Waste of Time", a cover version of a song that was originally written and recorded by American singer-songwriter Marshall Crenshaw. However he was only a one hit wonder and eventually fell out of the limelight soon enough. He now, unfortunately, famous for being the noisy neighbor that the Osbourne family declare war on.

## Role in The Osbournes

The noisy neighbor, Owen Paul, had been playing Euro dance (which was supposedly his new material, depite leaving the music business years before ) music loudly all night every night. Owen hadn't just annoyed the Osbournes but other neighbors around his house but the Osbournes were the first to react. Firstly, Melinda phoned the police on them but this didn't work, it was then up to Sharon and Jack Osbourne to fight back their way. Sharon went outside and told them to be quiet, but Owen and presumably relatives or friends laughed it off and the two started to argue. Sharon insulted them and they insulted her back, as a result Ozzy was angered by how personal they were being and declared war on them. The next night they played "The Whole World in my Hand" in the garden, this provoked Jack and Sharon to take action by playing death metal music loudly. Jack later went round to their home and complained but they mocked him. Jack starts throwing objects over into their garden, with assistance from Sharon. This provoked Owen to call the police and they questioned to Osbournes telling them to stop. Ozzy soon awoke and grabbed a wooden log, smashing a window causing the police to come again. The Osbournes paid for the damages and Owen with his friends and family moved out for a while.

Owen returned with his friends and family building a tennis court by the Osbourne garden. Owen attempted to make peace with Sharon by giving her "dog art" She was reluctant to forgive him. They started playing tennis constantly and were being loud, Ozzy complains about this but nothing is solved. Soon Sharon let the cats and dogs out to defecate on their tennis court, only to lose some of her cats mysteriously, she presumes that Owen had kidnapped or killed the cats out of revenge.

## Trivia

* Despite his identity being revealed in 2002, his identity is still censored in future releases and episodes.
* In 2005, Owen Paul sold his house next to the Osbournes.
* He is one of the few people that all of the Osbourne family absolutely hate.
* If he had murdered the cats he is perhaps the most dangerous individual in The Osbournes.

## References

1. ↑ http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/ozzy-osbourne-s-mystery-neighbor-revealed/
2. ↑ http://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/forum/topic/31122-ozzys-neighbors-getting-out/
The Osbournes/ The Second Series

**The second season** of the reality series The Osbournes premiered on MTV on December 3, 2002 and concluded on August 12, 2003, consisting a total of 20 episodes.

## DVD Releases

There were two DVD releases for the second series of The Osbournes released simply entitled, The Osbournes: The Second series and The Osbournes: 2/12.

## Trivia

* This series hold the most episodes n the Series history, it also began fan speculation of possible staging as a result of the last episode.
Kyle Gass

Kyle Gass as he appeared in the advertisements for The Osbournes

**Kyle Gass** is an American singer-songwriter and actor. He is a member of the comedy rock band Tenacious D, winner of a Grammy Award for Best Metal Performance, alongside longtime friend Jack Black. He also has his own supergroup called Kyle Gass Band which he formed after the break-up of his first side-project, Trainwreck in 2011. In Tenacious D, Gass plays lead guitar and sings backup vocals, and also plays the role of Black's comic foil in most of their comedy routines. He is the godfather of Black's son.

## Role in The Osbournes

Kyle only appeared in the advertisements for the show and never in the actual show. Here he dresses up as a younger Zakk Wylde and or Randy Rhoads and plays a guitar while Jack sings about the adventures that the family go through and why the audience shouldn't miss the latest series.
Duane Chapman

Dog around the time of The Osbournes

**Duane Lee "Dog" Chapman** is an American bounty hunter and a former bail bondsman. He starred in a weekly reality television program called Dog the Bounty Hunter, which ran for eight seasons from 2004 to 2012. He then starred in the reality television program Dog and Beth: On the Hunt which aired from April 21, 2013 to August 22, 2015.

## Role in The Osbournes

Dog only had a short appearance in the fourth Series of The Osbournes. He appeared, greeting the family as they entered Hawaii for their holiday. He spoke to the family, joking around and formally accepting Ozzy Osbourne to Hawaii.

## Trivia

* The main theme song for the TV Show *Dog the Bounty Hunter* was created and performed by Ozzy Osbourne.

## References

1. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYNPW51yJ5I
Ross Halfin (Episode)

**Ross Halfin** is the seventh episode of the rebooted fifth series/spinoff of The Osbournes, also known as The Osbournes Podcast. It originally aired on the 16th April 2018.

## Summary

Ross Halfin is a legend of rock and roll photography. He covered the punk bands of the '70s like THE CLASH, THE JAM and the SEX PISTOLS before making his way across the Atlantic to include rockers such as AC/DC, RUSH and BLACK SABBATH. His unique, forward approach to his subjects coupled with his ability to capture the most electrifying moments made him the go-to tour photographer for acts like METALLICA, MÖTLEY CRÜE and Ozzy Osbourne. Now a close personal friend of the Osbourne family, Ross links up with the family to discuss his big break, the highs, and lows of rock photography and the most pleasant and unpleasant people to work within the biz.

## Memorable Quotes

"'**"**
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## Trivia

* Ross previously appeared in the spinoff show Ozzy and Jack World Detour.
Dita Von Teese

Dita as she appeared around the time of The Osbournes

**Dita Von Teese** is an American burlesque dancer, vedette, model, costume designer, entrepreneur and occasional actress. She is thought to have helped repopularize burlesque performance, and was in a relationship with Marilyn Manson at the time of The Osbournes.

## Role in The Osbournes

Dita made an appearance at Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne's second wedding. She later appeared at the after party where she performed a strip tease for Ozzy (with assistance from Manson). A very drunk Ozzy ended up wearing Dita's knickers on his head the entire time while Manson tried to get Ozzy a special performance. She did her performance completely topless which entertained the drunk Ozzy, who was still trying to kiss Manson.

## Trivia

* Like Manson, she appeared on The Sharon Osbourne show she is also friends with The Osbourne family, in particular Sharon.
The Osbournes/ The First series DVD

The first season of the reality series The Osbournes premiered on MTV on March 5 and concluded on May 7, 2002 with a total of 10 episodes. The series follows the lives of Ozzy Osbourne and his family. This was one of three DVDs released for the series.

## Special Features

### Ozzy Translator

Due to Ozzy's mumbling and stutteriness, there was a "Ozzy translator" to help viewers differentiate what he was saying.

### Bonus Footage

Deleted and extended scenes from the show that didn't make the cut, all divided into different sections (i.e. the episodes). The first episode and A Very Ozzy Christmas have no bonus footage.

* Bark at the Moon/ Bonus Footage
* For the Record.../ Bonus Footage
* Won't you be my Neighbor/ Bonus Footage
* Tour of Duty/ Bonus Footage
* Trouble in Paradise/ Bonus Footage
* Get Stuffed/ Bonus Footage
* No Vagrancy/ Bonus Footage
* Dinner with Ozzy/ Bonus Footage

### Bloopers

A blooper section that featured mistakes or accidents throughout the series.

### Ozzy's Ten Commandments

Ozzy discusses the ten commandments that should be in everyday family life.

### Conversations with The Osbournes

More or less a behind the scenes look at the Osbournes family and how they dealt with camera crew everywhere.

### Name that Dookie

A game where you match the turd to each dog

### Edit the Scene

Where the viewer can edit scenes correctly or make up their own scene.

### Picture Gallery

The Osbournes/ The First Series Gallery

A range of official photos taken for the promotion and advertisement of the show.

## Trivia

* The commentary for this series was done during the filming of Series 2.
The Osbournes/ The Fourth Series

**The Fourth and final season** of the reality series The Osbournes premiered on MTV on January 17 and concluded on March 21, 2005 with a total of 10 episodes. The series follows the lives of Ozzy Osbourne and his family.

## Trivia

* The titlecard hasn't changed from Series 3
* This is the last official series of The Osbournes.
Pip

Pip as she appeared in the first series of The Osbournes

**Pip** (also known as **Pipi**) is a dog that is owned by the Osbourne family. Unlike some of the other pets, Pip isn't as well recognised and rarely has any major scenes.

## Role in The Osbournes

Pip appears from the very beginning of the series and sometimes in Sharon Osbourne's lap. Pip's only major event was in Bark at the Moon where she urinated on Ozzy's rug which sends Ozzy in a fit of rage sending the dog out of the door in anger. After this Pip makes the regular appearance here and there.

## Trivia

* Unlike the other pets, Pip is the only one not given a formal introduction, instead Sharon merely glosses over Pip by simply saying "Then there's Pip"
* The DVD game Name that Dookie uses the name Pipi despite that name never being used in the series.
Episode 4

**This article is a disambiguation page for Episode 4**

The following is a list of links to pages that might share the same title.

Please follow one of the disambiguation links below or search to find the page you were looking for if it is not listed. If an internal link led you here, you may wish to change the link to point directly to the intended article.

This is a guide for each of the episode 4's from The Osbournes.

* Won't you be my Neighbor (Series 1)
* Beauty and the Bert (Series 2)
* Return of the Ring (Series 3)
* Kelly Interrupted (Series 4)
* Sheryl Underwood (Episode) (Podcast)
Alec Baldwin

Baldwin in 2004

**Alec Baldwin** is an American actor, writer, producer, and comedian. A member of the Baldwin family, he is the oldest of the four Baldwin brothers, all actors. He only made a cameo appearance in The Osbournes.

## Role in The Osbournes

Alec only makes a brief cameo appearance in the show, ironically not on The Osbournes but rather *The Sharon Osbourne show* on a TV screen. In the cameo, Sharon, Kelly and Alec Baldwin are lying in a bed during some sort of sketch where Sharon in a mockingly tragic tone says she is upset that they have to say "goodbye".
The Accidental Tourist

**The Accidental Tourist** is the fifth episode of the third series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on Febuary 24, 2004.

## Summery

Kelly and Ozzy plan to travel to England, where they are to perform a duet of "Changes," the title track from Kelly's second album, on Top of the Pops. Ozzy upsets Kelly by saying that he doesn't want to come with her, but Sharon assures her that he will change his mind. Kelly's boyfriend, Rob, joins her on the trip. Everyone seems pleased with their duet, and Ozzy predicts that it could hit number one on the U.K. charts. Before a talk show appearance, Kelly gets into a fight with Rob. They apparently break up, and he returns to the U.S.

Ozzy annoys Kelly when he immediately complains of boredom and says that he wants to go back to Los Angeles. They later get along well while riding ATVs on the family's estate. Ozzy suffers an accident while riding one of the ATVs. His bodyguard finds him lying on the ground, unconscious.

## Memorable Quotes

"*If I found a bit of land, it'd be called "Prince of Darkness Land"*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*This TV show that Daddy's went to 32 year ago, now he's back 32 years later with his daughter, Kelly.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*He might get a fucking punch on the fucking nose if he walks around with that thing on his head. The thing is, it doesn't suit him because he's not a bad guy!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Just leave him, let him have his wobbler. He always does this before he has to go.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*It's so fucking cold! I use to wake up with icicles on my arse.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*You need a coat it's like below freezing.*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*You'll die! You don't know man. Eskimos die over there.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Kelly don't be such a bitch, Kel.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*It's a Honda? I thought it was a Harley.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Kelly, go and have children somewhere! Go and have babies or buy a fucking monkey.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*It's live and in front of 8 million people!*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*C'mon Kel, let's make a million dollars.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I'm just gonna go and lap round the field.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Ozz, Ozz! He's not breathing!*"
— Sam

## Trivia

* One of the unnamed chihuahua is named as Boris.
Arthur

"*Arthur, you are a horny toad! He's still got that big willy!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

**Arthur** was a dog that was owned by the Osbourne family.

## Role in The Osbournes

Arthur joined the Osbourne family sometime after the first series but only appeared in Series 2. Arthur was a more rough pet for the Osbournes as he often engaged in fights with Crazy Baby as well attempt to make with the other animals, such as Lola. Arthur held a prominent role during Series 2, appearing in almost all episodes of the series. Arthur's troublemaking made him infamous among not only the family but to guests and workers, such as Melinda Varga, as he was known to eat other pet's feces and vomit. Arthur was the main focus in Meow Means No! where he pinned down and raped Gus causing the cat to then have diarrhoea in the house. Arthur's antics caused one pet Chicken to be removed and temporarily adopted by Melinda. Arthur became such a problem that according to the commentary, Arthur had to be taken away and was in fact adopted by one of the cleaners.

## Trivia

* Despite multiple references, Arthur is never filmed/seen eating the other pet's muck.
The Osbournes/ The Second Series DVD

The second season of the reality series The Osbournes premiered on MTV on December 3, 2002 and concluded on August 12, 2003, consisting a total of 20 episodes. The series follows the lives of Ozzy Osbourne and his family. This was the second of the three DVDs released for the series and served as the first half of Series 2.

## Episodes

 My Big Fat Jewish Wedding | February 11, 2003

## Special Features

### Ozzy Translator

Due to Ozzy's mumbling and stutteriness, there was a "Ozzy translator" to help viewers differentiate what he was saying.

### Bonus Features

Deleted and extended scenes from the show that didn't make the cut.

### Dookie's Revenge

A game where you match the turd to each dog.

### What the \*@&%$ did he say?

A game where you have to translate what Ozzy says.

## Trivia

* The commentary for this DVD is unique for having Aimee Osbourne's first official appearance.
	+ It is also the only time Jack is not present during the commentary.
* The commentary for this DVD was done sometime during or after Series 3.
Sleepless in Beverly Hills

**Sleepless in Beverly Hills** is the first episode of the fourth and final series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on January 17, 2005.

## Summery

Ozzy begins suffering from insomnia. He eventually undergoes testing with a sleep disorder expert to determine the cause, as it turns out he is allergic to coffee, which he usually had every day before bed. Jack gets a tattoo of a cross on his chest, but Ozzy and Sharon do not like it.

## Memorable Quotes

"*It's not my band, I don't want to do any of the promotion! If you were fired from a band, would you want to do promotion?*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Where the fuck is that Darkness CD? What am I going to do?!*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*IT'S MY FUCKING HOUSE!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*She's (Sharon) asleep and then she starts snoring. Then Lola's on the bed and she starts snoring and I'm like "Aww fuck!"*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*It's because I'm sexy and you're jealous.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Alright are you ready? We're gonna go to the movies tonight, yeah action!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Be a dad and a husband and come out!*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Everyone frowns upon the sugarmommas or the sugardaddies but it's not a bad thing.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Oh stop! Jack behave! Oh Jack, why?!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*I don't dislike it but I'd prefer it on your back.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*At least it's not a Kelly monstrosity, at least give me that.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*I might as well go to sleep on the fucking sidewalk!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*You know what's sad about is, he doesn't have hairs on his chest and when he has hairs on his chest it'll look like a blue scab.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I'mma hard motherfucker!*"
— Jack Osbourne
Episode 6

**This article is a disambiguation page for Episode 6**

The following is a list of links to pages that might share the same title.

Please follow one of the disambiguation links below or search to find the page you were looking for if it is not listed. If an internal link led you here, you may wish to change the link to point directly to the intended article.

This is a guide for each of the episode 6's from The Osbournes.

* Trouble in Paradise (Series 1)
* Meow Means No! (Series 2)
* The English Patient (Series 3)
* Charity Case (Series 4)
* Melinda Varga (Episode) (Podcast)
Maggie

Maggie as she appeared in the first series of The Osbournes

"*Maggie whose next in line. Maggie I call "Heroin Sheek"*"
— Sharon Osbourne

**Maggie** is a dog that is owned by the Osbourne family. Maggie is considered the "next in line" in terms of the pet hierarchy,to the point only Minnie and Maggie ever go with Sharon during tours. Maggie, next to Lola is Ozzy's favourite dog.

## Role in the Osbournes

Maggie is introduced from the very first episode in Series 1. Maggie appears alongside Ozzy most of the time and is one of the only pets house trained. There is a running gag with Maggie this is when Maggie is on the sofa with Ozzy, she tends to "kiss" Ozzy on the lips who in turn kisses her on the lips/tongue. Maggie, along with Minnie appear with the Osbournes as they go on tours around the America or the world, Ozzy often sleeps on the tour bus' and planes with Maggie in the bed. Like most of the pets, Maggie appears mainly in the background and away from the the centre of attention from Series 1 onwards.
Rob Zombie

Rob Zombie, with Ozzy Osbourne, as he appeared in The Osbournes

**Rob Zombie** is an American musician, filmmaker, and screenwriter. Zombie rose to fame as a founding member of the heavy metal band White Zombie, releasing four studio albums with the band.

Zombie's first solo effort was a song titled "Hands of Death (Burn Baby Burn)" (1996) with Alice Cooper, which went on to receive a nomination for Best Metal Performance at the 39th Annual Grammy Awards. In 1997, he began working on his debut solo studio album, Hellbilly Deluxe, which was released in August 1998. A month later, Zombie officially disbanded White Zombie.

## Role in The Osbournes

Rob Zombie made two appearances in the first series. He first appeared alongside Ozzy in a photo shoot to promote the song *Iron Head*. Later Rob appeared in Ozzy's home helping the family out, though this was brief.

## References

1. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheri\_Moon\_Zombie
2. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider\_One