At War with Nintendo! (SML Fanfic)

(The video begins at the red couch, where Mario and Rosalina are sitting)

Jeffy: (arriving) Daddy, if I stick my pee pee in the garbage disposal unit and turned it on, what would happen?

Mario: Jeffy why would you ask that?

Jeffy: Because I just did, and now my pee pee is gone.

Rosalina: Jeffy!

Bowser: (arriving) Hey Mari-

Mario: BOWSER DON'T SAY THAT NAME!!!

Bowser: Why not?

Mario: Well, uh, a certain video game company copyrighted our names, so now I go by Melvin and she goes by Rose.

Bowser: What about me?

Mario: You're Bill.

Bowser: Bill?! I don't wanna be Bill!

Rosalina: Well we have no choice because Ninten-

Mario: Baby! Don't say their names!

Rosalina: But they're the ones who gave us the cease and desist letter and want to delete our channels!

Mario: Well you know what? This is stupid!

Jeffy: I agree! Why did they do that?!

Mario: Because for the past year, they have been going crazy with copyright! They forced a game tournament to shut down because they were using software that would've improved the game, and they went as far as the force the guys who made those Etika Joy-Cons to shut down, even though the money was going to charity!

Bowser: Oh I can't take this anymore! That's it! Get the camera!

(Mario gets the camera)

Bowser: Is it on?

Mario: Yes.

Bowser: Nintendo! How dare you send us a cease and desist letter and force Logan to use the puppets for the rest of his life! Not only that, but you are now trying to get them to shut down the other channels because the custom URLs have your names in them, even though he can't change it and words like Mario, Luigi, and Bowser aren't related to Nintendo! Your treatment to people for years has been poor, and this is the final straw! We are officially declaring **WAR** on you! Be prepared for an attack!

(Cut to the next day at Nintendo USA headquarters in Redmond, Washington, where a charter bus shows up)

Bowser: Okay, roll call! Mario!

Mario: Here!

Bowser: Jeffy!

Jeffy: Here!

Bowser: Thanos!

Thanos: Here!

Bowser: Rob Darken!

Rob: Here!

Mario: Wait, what is Rob Darken doing here?

Rob: I am the war expert!

Mario: You look ridiculous with those viking clothes and KISS makeup!

Rob: It's corpsepaint, not KISS makeup!

Bowser: Anyway, Gny. Sgt. Hartman!

Hartman: Here!

Bowser: Logan Thirtyacre and Lance Thirtyacre!

Logan and Lance: Here!

Bowser: Lovell!

Lovell: Here!

Bowser: And Loona, the one from Helluva Boss and not the K-pop group!

Loona: Here!

Bowser: Okay, we are going to give Nintendo a warning that we will attack, okay?

(Meanwhile at the headquarters...)

Doug Bowser: (on the phone) No I don't want to make another film with you, John Lasseter! I'm still mad at you for directing Cars 2!

(Suddenly, Doug starts to hear music playing loudly outside)

Doug Bowser: What the heck is that?

(Doug Bowser opens a window to find Rob Darken blasting black/viking metal music on large speakers)

Bowser: (on a megaphone) THIS IS A WARNING, NINTENDO!!! SURRENDER NOW OR WE WILL RAID THE HEADQUARTERS!!!

Doug Bowser: Oh it's those crazy psychos from SML! No I will not "surrender" because you used our characters to make inappropriate jokes directed at historically disadvantaged people and made money off of said characters! Now leave before I call the police!

Bowser: (on a megaphone) YOU ASKED FOR IT!!!

(The SML army starts the raid by shattering the windows and climbing in)

Hartman: You maggots are dead!

Loona: I will eat you like Arnold Schwarzenegger!

(Hartman and Loon destroy the offices and terrorize the employees)

Logan: Lance! I'm breaking into the loot!

Lance: I'll smash the computers!

(Logan uses a chainsaw to cut down doors while Lance destroys the computers)

Jeffy: I WILL USE GREEN BEANS TO WRECK THE WALLS!!!

Thanos: We're fighting, not breaking crap!

(Thanos fights the security)

Security: YOU ALL GET OUT NOW!!!

Mario: NO!!! THIS IS FOR EVERYTHING!!!

(Mario stomps on the security)

Rob: This is getting boring. I'm gonna go slice down the employees!

(Rob starts killing employees with his sword)

Bowser: ROB STOP!!! I DON'T WANT TO MAKE A BLOODY SCENE!!!

Hartman: I'll show you bloody scene!

(Hartman shoots down the employees)

Mario: HOLY CRAP!!!

Lovell: I got the safe!

Jeffy: BREAK IT!!!

(Logan breaks the safe, and they find $100,000,000)

Loona: Let's go!

Bowser: We're gonna be rich!

Doug Bowser: (arriving) STOP JERKS!!!

Mario: Then leave SML alone!

Logan: Yeah! I've already been through enough!

Doug Bowser: Well you know what? After this, I am forcing YouTube to delete **ALL** of your channels!

Lance: OH NO YOU'RE NOT!!!

(The SML army attacks Doug Bowser)

Doug Bowser: ***THAT IS SO IT!!!***

(Doug Bowser turns into Mega Thanos and throws the SML army away)

Doug Bowser: GET REKT!!!

(Back at Florida...)

Rosalina: So how did the raid go?

Mario: Horrible!

Bowser: I didn't even get $100,000,000!

Mario: Well I guess we gotta plan things out from now on.

Jeffy: Hey, daddy, wanna see my pee pee?

Mario: JEFFY NO!!!

**Moral: Don't raid headquarters!**

**SML Question: Would you steal $100,000,000 from Nintendo?**