224: Pork Fried Dice: A Pay-To-Play Game

## Summary

Batthwack tries to *Command* Selenia to stop running, but instead fires an unexpected *Eldritch Blast*, killing her. They learn that Selenia was on the run after stealing money to skip town and escape from Will. Meanwhile, Will successfully absconds from the Treasury at the *Tomorrow, Today!* office with as much loot as he can carry, before regrouping with the party.

## Synopsis

Batthwack shouts *"Halt"*, instinctively holding his hand palm outwards at Selenia. He attempts to cast *Command*, but instead 3 bolts of *Eldritch Blast* shoot out from his hand, hitting her squarely in the back and sending her sprawling to the ground. Raphina and Gwen witness this from a short way down the street and there's a crowd of townsfolk around. Batthwack runs up to Selenia, who is face down on the ground, preparing to make a medical check, but he can tell immediately that she's dead. He attempts to cast *Revivify*, but it doesn't work. Someone in the crowd shrieks as Batthwack calls out to Raphina *"Heal her! I can't bring her back to life. She's dead. I can't... I can't believe she's dead."* Raphina can't cast the spell either as she had already snorted her powdered diamonds when reviving Captain Clockface.

Batthwack calls Gwen over, who's shocked at what she's just seen. Batthwack says he doesn't know what happened. Hilula runs up, panting. The crowd are giving them all a wide berth. Hilula says *"She took someone's money and just ran! I don't know what she was doing!"* Gwen says she can't bring Selenia back, but can cast a spell so they can talk to her. Hilula asks who killed her and they explain what happened. Gwen asks Batthwack how he could mix up spells like that. Batthwack explains *"I don't even know how I can cast Eldritch Blast. It takes me no effort at all. I just do it."* He turns around and starts pacing. Raphina says she can cast *Raise Dead*, but they'd need to find a diamond worth at least 500 gp in the next 10 days. Batthwack is really relieved to hear this and says he'll get the money no matter what it takes.

The crowd are murmuring to each other and eyeing the group very suspiciously. Batthwack shouts angrily *"Clear out everyone! Clear out! There's nothing to see here!"* The townsfolk draw their children behind them, some people run, other people just back away, but one way or another everyone clears off. Batthwack picks up the body. He's now carrying the incapacitated Captain Clockface, the Ricardo automaton, and Selenia. Gwen asks what they're going to do with the body. Batthwack looks a little confused, and says they're going to heal her.

Batthwack asks Hilula what happened with Selenia in the tavern. She explains *"We were having a drink. I wasn't really paying attention. She just jumped up, grabbed someone's money pouch and bolted. She ran right out the front door. I chased after her like everybody else did. I saw you running after her and now... here we are."* The drawstring money pouch is lying on the ground nearby. Noticing Batthwack eyeing it, Gwen grabs the pouch. Batthwack and Raphina suggest having a look inside to check there's nothing unusual inside, but Gwen says they ought to just return it to its owner. In the end, Gwen agrees and passes the pouch to Batthwack who opens it up. There's around 20 or 30 silver and copper coins and 2 gold pieces sparkling within. Stirring his finger around to have a better look, he notes that the coins are marked with a monkey symbol, but doesn't find anything else. Hilula points out that Selenia was in jail when they met her. *"Maybe she was just a common cutpurse."* she says. Gwen says *"Do we want to ask her?"* and everyone agrees that they should.

Meanwhile, Will, still disguised as Crumplemeyer, is in the *Tomorrow, Today!* office treasury, hurriedly scooping money into a couple of bags he had in his pack. He places his immoveable rod against the door and activates it, hoping to ensure he isn't disturbed, or at least get some warning if someone is trying to come in. He's not entirely convinced that all Crumplemeyer's magic is gone, though he can't see any actual evidence of any. He also finds the bag of marbles that Batthwack gave him, looks at it for a moment, then whips the marbles onto the floor and begins filling that bag with money too. He manages to find a total of 20 platinum pieces among the money bins. The rest is mostly gold coins.

Listening carefully, Will doesn't hear any noises from anyone outside the room. He changes his appearance into that of "Mr Brownman", the plain-suited man, takes the immoveable rod and casts *Dimension Door* back into the alleyway where he had first hidden to disguise himself as Crumplemeyer before going in. As Will's about to head towards the back of the office, he freezes as a squad of militiamen burst out of the front door of the office and run off with purpose in the direction of the docks. Will scans the area to see if Batthwack's around, but can't see him. He peers into the office, but he's not there either. He casually starts following the squad of militia, wondering if he might run into the rest of the group.

Gwen casts *Speak with Dead* and the smell of black liquorice fills the air as the spell takes effect and wafts of black smoke go into Selenia's nostrils. Her eyes open. They're blank and white. Her mouth opens. Mo says *"Oh, creepy! What is this?"* Gwen explains that spell has the power to allow them to ask Selenia 5 questions. Batthwack stays very quiet and nobody else seems to want to take charge so Gwen asks *"Selenia, why did you steal that money?"* Selenia's ghostly voice replies *"Because I had no money."* *"What did what did you need money for?"* asks Gwen. *"To escape."* replies Selenia. Gwen asks *"Who are you escaping from?"* and Selenia replies *"Will."* Gwen pauses for thought, then asks *"Why do you need to escape from Will?"* *"He knows me."* she replies. Raphina reminds Gwen that the next question will be their last one. *"Is Will somebody I should be afraid of?"* asks Gwen. Selenia replies *"Everyone should fear everyone"* and then her eyes close. Gwen is confused and Raphina says she thinks Tivoli has some crazy things going on.

Just then, the *Tomorrow, Today!* militiamen come running up the street and rush right by them. Strolling casually behind them they recognise Will's Mr. Brownman guise. Will casts his eye on the scene, noting immediately that Batthwack is holding Captain Clockface on one shoulder and Selenia's lifeless body is draped over the other. Will calls out *"Whoa, what happened while I was gone?"* The group are awkwardly silent for a moment before Mo says *"Batthwack killed Selenia!"* They explain what happened, and that it was an accident. Batthwack says there's something wrong with him. Will laughs. *"I was asking you questions about, you know, whether you made a deal with any entities, but you don't want to answer those questions."* Batthwack just says they need to bring Selenia back. Raphina tells Will about Selenia stealing money because she was trying to escape from him. Will deflects, saying Selenia was scared because they're from the same town and he knew too much about her. Raphina is suspicious, but Will doesn't seem to be lying. He says she must have been in trouble with the law there. Will's cross that they're grilling him, when Batthwack was the one who killed her.

The group discuss their next steps. Should they head out of town to resume their journey up river to Beartoggle? Batthwack asks if they can pool their funds to buy the components for Raphina's spell, but Will wants nothing to do with it. Raphina reminds the group that she stashed her heavy money at a spot in the river, marked by a toothpick, so they could always go and get it. Gwen wants to regroup at Aleister's place, but Will's not sure if he trusts him. Anyway, he's not up for being stuck in a room being grilled.

Will says he'll meet them later and Mo asks if he should stay with him again and maybe get more money. Raphina's interested in what he means by that, but Will changes the topic, telling them to head off to Aleister's. Gwen says they promise not to attack him. Will's not sure if Batthwack can promise that. He wonders out loud how many people Batthwack has to kill before everyone else thinks something weird is going on. He says that he and Mo are going to go somewhere else for a while, to shop or whatever. Raphina asks if he can get her a diamond; she's been working on some new spells. Will asks if Batthwack wants anything, saying he's practicing at being a magical butler for when he breaks the contract. Batthwack doesn't really respond. He's lost in his thoughts.

Will continues to needle Batthwack. *"I used to think that you guys were on the wrong team, including me in your group, but you really need to take a look at that situation."* says Will, referring to Batthwack. *"The king who has now decided to murder his subjects."* Batthwack says *"I'm not the only one with a crown."* Will asks *"Is the crown related to your Eldritch Blast?"* Batthwack says *"I hope you never have the same surprise I had today."* Will says he doesn't begrudge Batthwack for killing Selenia; he doesn't know her. He tells everyone she was a drug dealer, so she was probably just a thief. He says the thing he minds is that it was *Batthwack* who killed her. Gwen defends him, reminding Will that Batthwack didn't mean to do it. Will's not swayed by this. He says Batthwack isn't being truthful about things and that's sketchy. Gwen says there's been an unusual amount of sketchy stuff in town lately. She says she'd like to go somewhere quiet and receive some guidance.

Will tells Gwen to go ahead; he and Mo can go to a restaurant. Raphina wants to go too, but Will isn't sure about all going together, especially if Batthwack is bringing a dead body. As they're all standing in the centre of the street, they hear a commotion in the direction of the docks. In the distance they see the *Tomorrow, Today!* soldiers coming back in their direction, apparently struggling with some people. They hear the sound of muffled shouts and curses.

## Trivia

* The episode title refers to something Eric said. Earlier in the episode the group had a discussion about how to handle the rules around the material component aspect to spell casting. Later, Raphina is trying to figure out if Will's lying and is making an insight roll. Eric says *"You also need four gold pieces worth of diamonds to cast this! Pork Fried Dice turns into like a Pay-To-Play game or whatever. Every two minutes I have an ad for 25 seconds."*

## References

1. ↑ See episode 221: These People Deserve to Be Roasted in Their Beds!
2. ↑ See episode 208: Poetic Lichen
3. ↑ KT clarifies that Will has a leather bag and a silk bag that he picked up from various places in Barovia.
4. ↑ See episode 34: Differently Vague
5. ↑ See episode 202: I Bet You Think This Pneumatic Tube Is About You
6. ↑ Will isn't outright lying. Selenia didn't know who he was, but he did cast *Detect Thoughts* on her, which Will chose not to reveal. See episode 220: Turtles Are Highly Flammable
7. ↑ See episode 190: Apothecary Dictionary