Doomed to Ed

**Doomed to Ed** is episode 146b of Edward and Eric. It premiered on Kids' WB on June 3, 2006.

## Synopsis

Superintendent Strict assigns Mrs. Sour to help the male students pass their annual fitness test, but she has a scheme that's a shoe-in to make them fail: take them to Francis Fairbrace's to exhaust them.

## Cast (WIP)

* Andrew Rannells as Edward
* Robert Capron as Eric
* Tress MacNeille as Mrs. Sour
* Wayne Grayson as Joey
* Gary Sauls as Constantinos and Mr. Goodman
* Edward Felker as Stanley
* Dan Green as Dallas
* Mike Pollock as Principal Walker
* Eric Stuart as Superintendent Strict

## Trivia

* This is the second episode to focus on Mrs. Sour, behind The Pink Panthedward.
* The episode title is based on "doomed to fail".
* Although this episode premiered in 2006, it was produced in 2005 according to the copyright date at the end of the credits.
* This episode is available to watch on the Back in Action DVD and The Complete Seventh Season box set.
* Principal Walker's scream from the end of the Season 2 episode, Snake Zone, is reused when the alarm clock smashes through the window of his office.

## Transcript

(It is nighttime at Lakeside City School, and each student is asleep. The camera pans over to the girls' dorm. Mrs. Sour slams her office door open, and she marches out. She takes out a trumpet that's ten times her size and she inhales before playing *Reveille* on it)

(This causes the sun to rise, and all of the girls exit their rooms, saluting)

**Mrs. Sour:** (takes out a megaphone) ALRIGHT, LADIES! LET'S HIT THE SHOWERS! (they march to the restrooms) LEFT! LEFT! LEFT RIGHT LEFT!

(We see the girls brushing their teeth)

**Mrs. Sour:** GARGLE, GARGLE! SWISH SWISH SPIT!

(Then, it cuts to Mandy training for cheerleading)

**Mrs. Sour:** LEFT! LEFT! LEFT RIGHT LEFT!

(As the girls prepare for school, Mrs. Sour sits down on a recliner and sighs, content with her handiwork)

**Mrs. Sour:** Just like a well-oiled machine.

(Suddenly, her eyes widen once she hears someone poorly playing the trumpet outside)

**Mrs. Sour:** (takes out a pair of binoculars and looks through the window) What in tarnation?

(The sound is shown to be coming from Mr. Goodman. He is trying to wake up the male students, but this only causes Joey to stumble outside and toss his alarm clock at him. Mr. Goodman dodges this by ducking his head into his suit, and then he pulls it back out)

(The alarm smashes through the window of Walker's office, and Walker screams bloody murder)

**Principal Walker:** (the school building shakes) OH, I'M UP! I'M UP ALREADY!

(He grumbles in anger incoherently as he walks out, carrying the alarm. He tosses it, and it heads for the girls' dorm. It lightly taps the building, and it starts shaking)

**Mrs. Sour:** Uh oh.

(The entire building collapses, and Mrs. Sour rises from the debris. She crushes the alarm with her sheer grip)

**Mrs. Sour:** Time's up, Lakeside City School! (growls)

(Later that day, she makes a phone call)

**Mrs. Sour:** (pinches her nose to sound nasally) Yes, Superintendent Strict, this is an anonymous caller with- (Strict speaks gibberish on the other end of the line; normal voice) Yes, *that* caller! I'm demanding for Lakeside City School to be closed! (Strict speaks more gibberish) Because they are the most unfit, un-coordinated slack of reject students who have ever donned a uniform! And if you don't shut down Lakeside City School, I will report their ineptitude to the highest authority in the land: THE ANIMATOR IN THE SKY HIMSELF!!!!

(Superintendent Strict hangs up. At his apartment, he angrily gibberish despite not being on the phone anymore, and he marches all the way to the school, where Walker is sunbathing in his boxers)

**Principal Walker:** Whoever you are, you're blocking my sunlight. Beat it.

(He opens one eye and sees Superintendent Strict staring at him in anger)

**Principal Walker:** (yelps and stands up straight to salute) ATTEN-SHUN! COMMANDER ON DECK!

**Superintendent Strict:** At ease, Principal Walker. This will only take a minute. ***FRONT AND CENTER, BOYS!!!! PRONTO, PRONTO!!!!*** (the male students and Mr. Goodman arrive at the scene) I've come to make an announcement.

**Principal Walker:** Goodman is a-

**Superintendent Strict:** (rips Walker's mouth off of him) Silence, Gaylord! I'm doing the announcing here.

**Mrs. Sour:** (viewing this with her binoculars) Ha ha! That's right, you have an announcement, Strict! (laughs and puts her binoculars back on) Go ahead and tell 'em your announcement.

(Strict begins talking, but Mrs. Sour talks over what he's saying with a poor impression of him)

**Mrs. Sour:** As you know, Lakeside City School is the most unfit, un-coordinated slack of reject students who have ever donned a uniform. (Strict holds up a paper reading "Lakeside City School: CLOSED!") So now I'm closing it down, Gaylord! And I only need you to sign this, because I enjoy watching you squirm and sweat!

(Strict hands Walker a sheet of paper. The latter scratches his head)

**Mrs. Sour:** I didn't see that coming, duh!

(The students begin celebrating)

**Mrs. Sour:** Close the school? Gee willikers! Boo-hoo-hoo! (sets the binoculars down; normal voice) Ha ha, suckers! It's over! (puts them back on as Walker begins signing his signature) That's it. Sign the paper.

(Suddenly, the pencil lead snaps apart)

**Mrs. Sour:** Huh?! Oh, great! Going to sharp a pencil! (that's exactly what Mr. Goodman goes to do) How long is *this* gonna take? Wait a minute, who's this? (Edward starts talking to Superintendent Strict) Come on, kid, let it go, it's over! What? Give me a break. (Edward and Strict laugh) What? No! Superintendent Strict, don't listen to him! (tightly clutches the binoculars) Where is that vice principal?!

(Mr. Goodman returns with the now-sharpened pencil)

**Mrs. Sour:** Finally. (Strict takes it away) NOOOOO!!!!

(She puts the binoculars away as she grunts, with steam coming out of her ears. She marches out of the girls' dorm and approaches everybody)

**Mrs. Sour:** What's going on here?!

**Principal Walker:** Oh, hi, Mrs. Sour. (takes out the sheet of paper) Superintendent Strict here was just about to close Lakeside City School.

**Mrs. Sour:** And you were gonna sign, Walker, right?!

**Superintendent Strict:** Wrong! We're gonna get these students into shape. They agreed to take the annual fitness test to prove they're school-worthy of the student world.

**Edward:** Yeah, because the only other school is in Manhattan, and nobody wants to go to Manhattan, where the rent for a closet-sized apartment is way too expensive.

(Everybody except Mrs. Sour agrees with him)

**Mrs. Sour:** (facepalms) You losers couldn't pass a fitness test if your life depended on it!

(The camera cuts to a group of students to prove her point. Terry is eating a chocolate bar, Barry is asleep, Igor and Abdul are drooling, Aaron is breathing into his inhaler, Skipper is scratching his armpit, and Eric is being distracted by a butterfly)

**Eric:** (in the background) Lovely butterfly!

(Strict isn't amused by the sight of this)

**Superintendent Strict:** Hmm...perhaps you're right. Maybe we should just close the school.

**Principal Walker:** (sadly) Ok.

**Superintendent Strict:** Unless... (turns to Mrs. Sour) *you* were to coach 'em. (Mrs. Sour's jaw drops to the ground) You always have the girls' dorm in tip-top shape, Mrs. Sour. Surely you could do the same for these young men. Does that sound fair, Principal Walker?

**Principal Walker:** I dunno. Ok. Could I put my pants on?

**Superintendent Strict:** Godman, lend 'er the keys to the bus so she can haul this load off for some real trainin'. I've got a golf game tomorrow afternoon, (marches away) so let's do this fitness thing first thing in the mornin', ladies. Fetch me my club, Godman.

**Mr. Goodman:** (follows him) Yes, sir. It's "*Good*man", si- nevermind.

(The camera transitions to Mrs. Sour angrily mumbling as she drives the bus)