Episode 237 - Team Head Injury

## Intro

**Episode description:**
n/a

**Opening Quote:**
**Kyle**: No, Heidi Fleiss is huge into D&D. She plays in a private game with uh, Vin Diesel.

**Player introduction:**
**Lauren**: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Tabletop Champions! I'm Lauren and I am your dungeon master tonight, and with me I have Kyle who plays Irpaks...
**Kyle**: Totally ready.
**Lauren**: Sean who plays Abutton...
**Sean**: Ready.
**Lauren**: Matt who plays Fanel...
**Matt**: Why do trees hate riddles? Because it's too easy to get stumped.
**Lauren**: Boooo Stephanie who plays Raquel...
**Matt**: Oh fuck you.
**Stephanie** **(in Raquel's voice)**: Course I'm ready, and I have all of my characters leveled up. Not a problem, it's fine!
**Lauren**: And Ben who plays Throden.
**Ben**: Why is it so hard to get rid of your redneck Dragonborn coworker? They're fire resistant.
**Matt**: Awwwww.
**Lauren**: I hate that one even more. \*cackles\*
**Stephanie**: Ja-min. Friendship over.
**Kyle**: I would- you should - I would think as the one person who actually is 100% guaranteed to be ready, you should brag about that, but alright, you know.
**Lauren**: They missed the theme.
**Matt**: I was like - It's like - says the one who does puns all the time.
**Lauren**: I do do puns all the time. Um, it's different, I [inaudible] Sean now.
**Kyle**: You said doo doo.
**Lauren**: I did.
**Matt**: Doo doo.
**Lauren**: Oh boy, it's gonna be one of those nights, isn't it.
**Kyle**: Yup.
**Stephanie**: Yep.
**Matt**: It always is one of those nights.
**Lauren**: Alrighty, so -
**Stephanie**: Not always, sometimes we can behave.
**Lauren**: It's definitely not tonight.
**Kyle**: We can't behave, we can just be subdued. That's the only thing we can - that's the only other version. There's us lowkey, and then there's us, and there's- that's it.
**Stephanie**: Yup.

## Episode Summary

The party wakes up, heads throbbing, on a star-shaped stone platform in a black galaxy, with twelve stars above them. In the center of the platform they see Dawn crying, her whole being looking unnaturally pale. Fanel calls to her, and she turns, revealing bright red pupils. "You," she says accusingly, and spirits rise and fly into everyone. Raquel sees the spirit of Samuella, a halfling who died in her brothel. She blames Raquel for leaving as she died, and the scene of her death plays for Raquel, who denies leaving. Throden sees his home burning, and one of his children asks where he was. Irpaks sees Irpaks Jr asking where he was as he died alone, being tortured, waiting and calling for Irpaks. A scene of Irpaks Jr, in the form of Kallas, being arrested by New Doladon guards plays before him. Abutton sees an unfamiliar female dwarf twirling a dagger saying, "How is it that you have come to die and live a thousand times over the years? You were nothing. You're still nothing. They'll only kill you. Just like the last time you stuck your nose in someone else's business. Just like the time you tried to help the heroes to save the world. And just like the time I killed you for following me where you shouldn't have gone." He sees an underground dwarven city, and a small band of dwarves fighting to get out of a gate. Fanel hears Dawn say she never wanted this life, and he sees a young woman holding a young Dawn, making a deal with two hags, who take her into their hut. Fanel says it's never too late to change. He feels like she wants to say more, but she vanishes, and he sees that the room has changed. It now holds an altar, and an item in each corner.

Raquel continues to argue with Samuella. Throden's son says the lizardfolk were looking for an artifact, and asks if Throden will avenge them. Throden agrees. Irpaks sees Irpaks Jr being tortured, and Irpaks Jr says they thought he knew where Irpaks was, and that he was hiding something important. Irpaks apologizes for who they both were born as and raised to be. Irpaks Jr says he loves him, and Irpaks sees the same as Fanel. The object in one corner dissipates. Abutton's dwarf says she doesn't understand why the gods keep bringing him back, though this is different. He sees a stableboy in a dwarven city, young, brawny, and full of hope and pride. She says this new form is amusing. Abutton also breaks out of the spell.

Fanel inspects the altar. Inscribed in Common at the bottom is *"Though your emotions are attached to a bond, by the power of the gods, I release you to find your true peace."* There is also a bowl that looks like something has been burned in it. Fanel finds a spear in one of the corners.

Raquel is shown the brothel after she left, where everyone was sad and crying. Throden watches his tribe's bodies decapitated and their heads put on spikes. He says he will ensure it does not happen again. He watches his wife die fighting, then breaks out of the spell. As he does, the spear disappears. Irpaks finds a flask of alcohol in another corner, and throws it at the altar. It shatters, and Raquel is brought out of the spell. A blue circle appears beneath their feet and the altar disappears. Irpaks casts *True Seeing* and realizes they are on the Etheral plane. He sees a black and purple tendril crushing one of the twelve stars. Abutton finds a red piece of glass on the ground by the altar, which he doesn't care about. He reflects upon the visions he had, and for just a moment sees himself as human. He asks Raquel for a drink, and they both chug. Fanel and Irpaks speculate on how they got here, and Abutton walks into the circle and disappears, followed by Irpaks and Throden. Fanel picks up the piece of glass, which looks like it came from a mosaic, then goes in the circle, followed by Raquel.

The party finds themselves in a similar star-shaped room, with only eleven stars overhead. A giant table holds a diorama depicting a castle manned by humanoids under attack by a demon army. Irpaks goes to grab a catapult, but when he touches it he disappears. Raquel tries to stop Abutton touching something, but he manages to grab a random soldier. Raquel touches a random figure to follow the two of them. Fanel, exasperated, touches a soldier. Throden sees that each party member has appeared on the battlefield next to the figures they touched. A massive red figure is behind the demon army, wielding a whip and a sword. He touches the human commander and finds himself in the middle of the battle.

## Memorable Quotes

**Kyle**: I'm coming, I'm still coming, oh god, I can't stop coming.

**Lauren**: You see a stableboy in the dwarven city. Young, brawny -
**Sean**: Motherfucker.
**Stephanie**: I knew it!
**Ben**: \*laughs\*

**Fanel**: I think I might go - I might start drinking, like heavily after this.
**Throden**: I should probably remind you, you told me to punch you if you did that again.

## Trivia

New Abutton phrases:

* You are nothing. You're still nothing. — Dwarf woman
* Nose in someone's business. — Dwarf woman