Sensible Haircut

> "It's like talking to the entire state of Texas thrown into a blender."
>
>

> ~ Ulysses, describing talking to Sensible Haircut.
>
>

**Sensible Haircut**, or simply **Sensible**, was a Generation 1 tagger on TF2Tags, well-known for being "The #1 Most Patriotic Tagger in TF2Tags History". Fueled by pure love of America, Sensible Haircut sought to advance his crusade of sharp looking hairstyles for all. He often tried to bring a sense of 20th century normality to what he saw as the chaotic and odd millennial culture consumed by younger taggers. Raised on a strict diet of John Wayne films, WWII documentaries, and history books, Sensible Haircut incorporated these things into his tags to contrast with the usual monotony of "site-meme singularity". His permanent banning by Dr. Dos is one of the most infamous events in tagging history.

His outspoken nature and unwillingness to back down from the American principles of free expression, as well as his natural disdain for autocratic authority often put him in conflict with the powers-that-be on the site, culminating in Sensible being banned by Herr Führer-Doktor Dos on September 8th, 2015, in what was surely the most divisive shitstorm the site has ever seen.

And then he came back at the end, a wary veteran who was rather confused and crotchety at all the various antics that occurred prior to the Tagpocalypse.

## History

### Some Folks Are Born, Made To Wave The Flag

Sensible Haircut first appeared on TF2Tags on October 17th, 2013, making a set about Mann Co's subliminally messaging mercenaries to smoke, which received thirty crits. He would make some more sets in October before disappearing from the site until December 11th. He would tag sparsely through the month and then January of 2014 before not tagging at all until late March, where he would tag until April 1st (making a few April Fools' Week tags) and then take another month-long hiatus, reappearing in May, only to make one tag during the month, not make any in June, and only one in July. It wouldn't have been until August 29th when his tagging career would really begin to pick up steam.

Sensible's first interaction with the budding community of Generation 1 taggers came when he jumped on the bandwagon that was Ulysses's hateboner for bucket jokes. He would then start to carve out his little piece of land, making a running joke of him criticizing TF2's comics for never coming out on time, as well as a much longer running joke about gnomes and slapping their shit. He would spend the rest of 2014 tagging regularly and growing his points to almost 2000 by year's end.

### The Loud American

2015 would start out strong for Sensible, making his best tag within the first week of the year, which would quickly be followed by many more tags that received upwards of 20, 30, even 50 crits, and this trend would continue into February, March, and April. This constant stream of successive successful tags would quickly garner higher and higher profile ranks, as well as an increasing popularity among the site's users, both new and old. On May 5th, in the midst of the Racist Anon Incident, Sensible announced his own contest without a theme. He would quickly be overwhelmed by the amount of submissions before choosing the winner on May 9th, a tagger named Mnemonic\_Horse.EXE. He won Sensible's Strange Mad Milk for his efforts.

Shortly after this contest, Sensible paid more attention to the drama surrounding the Racist Anon Incident, where a random Anonymous person circumvented the daily submission limits imposed upon anon taggers to post a load of racist garbage. Despite most people at the time, however, Sensible really wasn't all that bothered by him. He said he was used to far more offensive stuff than the Racist Anon was posting, which he called "middle school level". He instead criticized Blast and the other taggers for "making a big hub-bub about it and making others perceive this is tantamount to the holocaust. It isn't." They gave the Anon the attention he was so desperately craving. This position was shared by Danjin, who was so fed up with the others' reactions that he refused to discuss the matter outside of comments. Sensible did not appear to comment on Timberwoof's false banning.

In the midst of the Racist Anon Incident, the site experienced the handiwork of Teaquin, the one responsible for the weaponization of missbombs. Sensible is potentially partially responsible for Teaquin committing his crimes, because it was his insulting of Teaquin's tags that led to the monster missbombing Legownz. This did not waver the patriot, who decided to continue mocking him incessantly. A famous quote of his regarding Teaquin described him as being "Angry as fuck, doesn't speak english, and God know's what's going on in his head." He would later dare Teaquin to missbomb him, calling him a "Canadian Portugese Pussy".

Following a hectic May, things would progress on the site as normal until July 12th, when Team Legownz occurred. Like Legownz, Sensible didn't care about the death of Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata (in fact, he saw it as a good thing, believing his death would bring in more original games instead of just another Mario title), so he naturally sided with Legz over Player 1 + Player 2, who he called a dick, a prick, and a coward. Sensible is one of two taggers confirmed to have changed their username to a hybrid of their own and Legownz, and was Legownz's most vocal defender during this feud with P1P2.

When the Mobile-Friendly Update arrived in August, Sensible was one of the three founders of the Bring Back Misses Movement in protest of the Miss Button's removal by Dr. Dos, alongside Ulysses and Legownz. While others complained and argued points against Dos, Sensible decided to illustrate their points directly, teaming with CP to go on a rampant shitposting spree to show just how easy it was to make a bunch of terrible posts that could only be critted, showcasing the lack of any quality control that a TF2Tags without misses would bring. The two of them were temporarily banned for this action, but were eventually restored after Dos conceded and put the miss button back and restoring all the downvotes.

Sensible would later turn on his former BBM shitposting partner after he was reponsible for the Banning of AFI. When beloved shitposter A Fucking Idiot was banned from TF2Tags on August 21st, 2015, Sensible confirmed the ban in the comments of Le Tryhard Hunter's tag announcing it, pasting a comment from AFI's steam profile where AFI said that he was indeed banned. Sensible was quite the fan of AFI and was an ardent supporter of him during Bring Back Misses, so he made a tag memorializing him shortly thereafter. In the comments of this tag, CP would reveal that he was the one who reported AFI to Dos, thus getting him banned. Sensible, like many others, turned on CP, with him specifically calling him a piece of shit. He would go on to make a few comments on anti-CP posts, but other than that largely did not instigate much drama during the shitstorm, focussing instead on a raffle he hosted to celebrate reaching 5000 points on his profile (which Ulysses would go on to win). He would forgive CP after he gave his formal apology to the community.

### Ain't Marching Anymore

*Main article: The Banning of Sensible Haircut*

By September of 2015, Sensible was at his peak on TF2Tags. Having tagged for nearly two years and participating in all the site's major events up until this point, with 5000 crits on his profile, the future looked nothing if not bright. The other taggers saw him as an inspiration and a pillar of the community, and a man well on his way to becoming the fifth person to reach the rank of Hale's Own. Had things not played out as they did, he very well would have.

Alas, on September 8th, 2015, tragedy struck. Sensible had been tagging like normal that day, when he decided to post something a little spicy, as he tended to do from time to time. He made a tag of the Flying Guillotine Scout secondary weapon, which he titled "The Bruce Jenner Experience", joking about Bruce Jenner's gender transition into Caitlyn Jenner. What was seen by most everyone else as a tongue in cheek, if not a bit distasteful, joke, some random piece of garbage named Yuurg, a minor tagger who was active mostly in 2014 and only came back recently, got into a hissy fit over the tag and argued nonstop with Sensible over the joke, reporting him to Dr. Dos. Though transphobic tags were banned according to the rules, Dr. Dos's subsequent action was seen as needlessly cruel. Dos banned Sensible for an undisclosed, but known to be excessive, amount of time.

The fallout of this ban was swift and *intense*. Ulysses reported the ban to the rest of the site, with Sqwid quickly coming to the correct conclusion that it was over the guillotine tag. Sensible would change his name to "Resting in Patriotism". Most people initially thought that the ban would be undone within a matter of days, similarly to the previous bans of people like AFI, but the outcome was far from what people had expected. Dos refused to ever lift the ban, privated all his accounts, and left the community stunned and *pissed the fuck off*. In short, the following things of note came from the fallout of Sensible's Ban:

1. Yuurg was essentially lynched for getting a beloved member of the community banned within a day of returning, and following this event he deleted all but one of his 72 tags, and was never seen or heard from again.
2. Taggers began to leave the site in droves in protest of Dos's behavior, pulling the largest mass Leave And Never Come Back in the site's history. While some had stuck to their word, many would eventually return to the site at some point later on. Those who stayed gone can be considered the Lost Generation of Taggers, for if they had stayed they likely would have become significant community figures.
3. Ulysses and Relk's infamous and bloody feud would begin over Relk being in favor of Sensible's ban.
4. The banning was the hard end of the first Generation of taggers. Everyone who became a major tagger after (including many who had already began to have a presence on the site around that time) is identified as Generation 2, up until vulture\_prime hitting major status.
5. Sensible was seen as a martyr for freedom of speech, and many taggers would go on to rip Dos apart for his censorious nature. This is largely the event where the vast majority of the community turned against Dr. Dos as the sole site administrator.

The on-site rioting would go on for several days before things eventually calmed down. Broken but not deterred, the community would learn to heal and move on from Sensible's ban, keeping the fallen soldier in their hearts for years to come.

### When Johnny Comes Marching Home

Sensible would make a return to TF2Tags on September 3rd of 2017 under an alt account named "Sensibly Sensible". People were skeptical at first, but indeed this did turn out to be the real Sensible Haircut, revived and just as patriotic as ever, and the people rejoiced. The few remaining Gen 1 taggers saw a return of an old friend. The Gen 2 taggers saw the resurrection of a martyr. The Gen 3 and Gen 4 taggers bore witness to a tagging legend for the first time.

Sensible's return to tagging would only last for the duration of September 2017, but he was, at that point, back in the community. He joined Makin' Bacon and Llux's Discord servers, where he would finally be able to talk to taggers new and old in an environment that didn't require a picture of a shotgun with an overlord holding a grudge against him.

...This lasted less than 2 months, however. Though the records are spotty (Llux's server has been deleted), Sensible's recognized edgy humor with a right-wing bent rubbed the people on Makin's server the wrong way very quickly, particularly the moderation team of Makin, Marmot, Twelve Hour Respawn, and Ulysses. According to what records could be found, Sensible often made purposely inflammatory statements that bordered on (and sometimes appeared to be legitimate) outright bigotry. His reputation very quickly fell among the regular users of this server. On October 18th, 2017, Twelve's roommate Lana would take control of his account for the night and talk the people, and when she revealed she was of Latino descent, Sensible apparently went on a racial tirade. The moderators seemingly muted him for this, and, feeling unwanted, he subsequently left the community once more.

Following this, the majority of TF2Tags seemingly exiled Sensible and painted him as a racist, anti-semitic, transphobic Nazi. It is important to note that he has his defenders. Expand (Specifically Sherri) *heavily* criticized Makin' and his mod team for likening Sensible to "genocidal maniacal zealots". Walumancer, despite being told repeatedly of Sensible's antics, remains skeptical of the claims as he wasn't there himself to witness them, and does not trust the server's administration due to their own political biases (though *is* willing to believe them with sufficient evidence). Other than that, however, Sensible has been almost universally shunned.

Sensible would appear to tag one last time during the final days before the Tagpocalypse under his alt. He made a few tags of a specifically controversial nature (including reviving the tag that got him banned in the first place and a tag anticipating the death of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg) and mostly was there to watch the tagging world burn. He saw The Final Week and found it to be ridiculously dumb and stupid, grouchily stating that this site was meant for jokes not stories. People largely refused to interact with him on principle, and by the end he was not a welcomed presence on the site. He has not been seen or heard from since, and most people are perfectly okay with that.

## Style

> "I swear, the stupider I think the joke is, the better it does."
>
>

> ~ Sensible, describing the style of his most successful tags.
>
>

Sensible Haircut's style was pretty unique all things considered. Though his best tags follow the typical reference style that everyone else did, he also had several running jokes. His first running joke would be him criticizing the "bi-annual" TF2 comic for never releasing when it should. He would then have a long-running joke about gnomes and how they would slap your shit, or how he was going to slap the gnome's shit (it is unknown where this hatred of gnomes came from). He would also make several different fruit-related jokes (usually with the Mr. Juice cosmetic) that, though he thought they were stupid, usually were quite successful. In addition to these running jokes, Sensible was known for never being afraid of making edgy or political tags. As a minority right-winger on TF2Tags, one would think such tags would be met with gross negative reception, but this was not the case, as they often garnered a number of crits. However, it would ultimately be this aspect of his style that would kill his tagging career.

## Relationships

Though Sensible has essentially been disowned by the taggers, this section will largely focus on his relationships with taggers up to his banning and not after.

### Ulysses

Sensible Haircut's first real ally and friend on the site was Ulysses. Sensible would make several jokes about Ulysses during his early days, when Ulysses Bucket jokes were the "in" thing to do. The two would eventually start to talk and would eventually bond, most likely over their edgy senses of humor. Having the (at the time) second most accomplished tagger on his side no doubt helped boost Sensible's popularity and support among the taggers. Sensible would often make several jokes at Ulysses's expense throughout his time on TF2Tags, but this was seemingly all in good fun. When Sensible was banned, Ulysses was the one Sensible went to chronicle his progress attempting to reach Dr. Dos, and the one who relayed the news of his permanent banning to the site. His friendship with Sensible is likely a reason he got into such a heated rivalry with Relk as well.

Sadly, their friendship would come to a bitter end when Sensible returned to the community through Discord. They would begin on the same terms as before when Sensible returned to the site in September of 2017, with Ulysses dutifully willing to serve his role as post-apocalyptic biker, but after Sensible's behavior in the Discord servers (he was a moderator on Makin's), he would be the one to confront Sensible on his attitudes and muted him in the server, causing him to leave. Their friendship promptly ended after that.

### A Fucking Idiot

Though they never seemed to have any form of close relations, Sensible was an ardent supporter of AFI through the entirety of their shared time on the site. Sensible would advocate heavily for the return of Misses through BBM and confirming his infamous ban that occurred not long after, as well as making memorial tags for him and being among the first to turn on CP for getting him banned. The two men have a lot in common through their unique brands of edgy humor, their infamous bannings and subsequent cults of personality.

### Legownz

Legownz practically idolized Sensible and would try to follow his example as a tagger. Legownz was particularly hurt by Sensible's banning, being one of the first to pull a Leave And Never Come Back following his ban, and when Legownz surpassed Sensible's score months later, Legz lamented that these crits are undeserved compared to his genius. Sadly (or perhaps fortunately), Legz had left the site when Sensible made his return.

### Everyone Else

In terms of everyone else, Sensible's reputation pre-Discord was almost universally positive. In a set he made after becoming established, he would show early support for up and coming Generation 2 taggers Fancytag (then Tagattack) and Makin' Bacon. He would defend Makin' against AFI's claims of him being a Nazi over a Nazi-related tag he made (how poetic, considering Makin's stance on him at the end).

Sensible was, like most others, greatly annoyed by L'Étranger, especially when he pulled the infamous George Incident, which apparently made Sensible very angry. He also greatly disliked Teaquin, but who didn't dislike Teaquin? Of course, Sensible would grow to despise "Reich Chancellor Dos" for his disliking a particular tag and passing unilateral judgement based on his personal ideology.

Sensible had a one-sided respect for Relk. He held Relk in high regard due to him being the top tagger for most of the site's history and for always making good jokes. He would would wish him happy birthday during The Banning Of AFI, and a paragraph of praise to this day resides on Relk's wiki page as an introduction. However, Relk seemingly did not return this respect. Though he was always cordial with Sensible, it was revealed after his banning that he had been getting on his nerves for some time, and was glad to see him banned.

## Gallery

Sensible Haircut's first tag.Sensible's second best tag.An example of Sensible ranting about the "bi-annual" comic never coming out on time.The start of Sensible's running joke regarding gnomes and slapping their shit.Example of a successful fruit joke by Sensible.Another gnome-slapper.Sensible's best tag, scoring over 120 crits.A 100-item long set of "Bye-Bye, Miss American Pie" that Sensible made on his birthday. Though it didn't get many crits, the effort alone warrants its place here.Sensible wishes all Americans a happy Independence Day.Another gnome.Another successful fruit tag.Sensible expressing his hatred for weebs.Sensible's second to last tag before the infamous guillotine, with people paying their respects.Sensible makes a triumphant return almost two years after his ban.The gnome returns on Sensible's alt.
## Trivia

* Sensible's name is a reference to a running gag in TF2 about Soldier's obsession with military style grooming.
* It is a popular myth that Sensible was banned by Dr. Dos until the year 2050. It is unknown where this originated, but according to Ulysses, Sensible was banned for an undisclosed amount of time, and did not come back over ideological differences with Dr. Dos.
* In one of the more bizarre events in TF2Tags history, a replica of the infamous Bruce Jenner tag was posted on the site on January 27th, 2016, mere minutes prior to the first instance of the Colorless Times, by an account named #Freedomisntfree. This tag caused Ulysses to go ballistic, and immediately started trying to figure out who would have done something like this, immediately ruling out Sensible himself.
	+ The new account's Steam ID was "fuckyoudos", perhaps hinting that it was Sensible himself, despite Ulysses's protests.
	+ The account only ever made the one tag. It is unknown if the tag was meant to start some kind of shitstorm or merely act as some kind of memorial.
	+ Here is the tag in question:

* Sensible enjoys talking about American history and politics.
* According to prophecy, Sensible will return once again in the post apocalyptic year of 2050 with a horde of Australian bikers to set things right. His definition of "right", however, is of great concern to many people.
* In 2019, Sensible vandalized the wiki on more than one occasion.
	1. On March 21st, he would vandalize Dr. Dos's wiki page, renaming it "Dr. Hitler", replacing his profile picture with Adolf Hitler along with Hitler's tagger infobox information, and filled the page with exerts from *Mein Kampf*. This was largely seen as humorous to most taggers, to the point where it was archived.
	2. On May 4th, he would vandalize the pages of Proto Kirby, Llux, Bloo Kirby, and Ulysses, replacing them with insulting and random information with odd profile pics and page renames. He seemingly targeted these specific users on account of the former three all being transgender, and Ulysses out of spite for what was likely seen as him backstabbing him back in October 2017.
* Sensible is an ardent shipper of Soldier and Zhanna.
* Sensible really would like to live in the city of Columbia from *Bioshock Infinite*, claiming that "it's not that bad at first." Perhaps this was an omen of his true colors, as he stated this all the way back in June of 2015.
* Sensible prefers Terminator 1 to Terminator 2 because it is more suspenseful and scary, while the second is just an action movie.
* Sensible is a fan of RON FUCKING SWANSON, though he thinks *Parks and Recreation* is simply an okay show.
* Sensible dislikes it when people dye their hair unnatural colors.
* Sensible doesn't care for specific genres of music, he prefers to judge songs on a case-by-case basis.
* Sensible prefers seltzer water to soda.
* Sensible believes cats are evil satanic creatures.
* Sensible wants it to be legal for him to drive a tank in the streets. Lucky for him, it IS legal.
* Surprisingly, Sensible does not hate bronies as much as other taggers do, claiming that most are chill.
* He believes Texas is the greatest state in the Union, though he was originally from southern California and currently resides in Kansas.