Questions

## Current Generation

* (River)
* (Seb)
* (Inari)
* (Chris)
* (Jasso)
* (Alyssa)
* (Leena)
* (Laurent)
* (Alexa)
* (Sanna)
* (Groups)
* (Cousins)
* (Multiverse)
* (Parents/Others)
* (London Crew)

R: Oh, where do I even start? He's got the most wicked sense of humour that a lot of people don't even see because he's so much of an introvert. I have so many memories of him making me laugh so much that I can't even stand up. \*laughs\* Oh, and he's super smart as well! He likes to pretend that he's too cool for any of that, but he's got this brain in there that could be so dangerous in the wrong hands.
That's not to say he's perfect by any means. Seb drives me mad when he goes into a silent spiral, and won't let anyone in. Not to mention, when he does the whole martyr thing and puts literally everyone else before him even when he's dying? Frustrating as fuck.
But I suppose I wouldn't have him any other way.
**River: as someone's who's been on the other side of the issue, any idea how you would respond to Adrien being upset about his Finnish/white heritage/looks?**
R: I would definitely say that I understand how he feels. I may have grown up in a family who looked like me - well, my father did mostly, my mama's got pretty light skin in comparison to either of us- but when we moved to LA, I found myself in a neighbourhood and a school where nearly everyone else was white. I was the odd one out, and that made me feel awful. I mean, when I got older, I took great pleasure in being the odd one out - \*laughs\* - but as a little kid, I hated it.
That's why I would have to say to Adrien....it's perfectly normal that you have these feelings. It hurts me that you're ever upset about anything, but I know there's nothing I can do to ease this, other than showing you how proud you should be of your Finnish heritage, and telling you that your genetics don't make you any less Latino. Your pale skin doesn't make you any less Latino. You're just as much a part of this culture as I am, even if you don't look like me, and you're so amazing as you are. Te amo, mijo.

**River, if you need a chance to talk, wanna share a favorite story from the bedroom? Maybe something that tells us about the benefits of having a switch as a lover.**
R: Ooh, what should I tell you? It's actually pretty great having a switch for a partner, because things never get boring. Also he's like just as kinky as I am, which makes it even more interesting to explore new things with him. That said, there's been some pretty funny moments between the two of us. This one time, we were fucking, just basic sex with Seb riding me - ugh, he's so good at that - and I wanted to switch it up a little, so I went to flip us over so I could give him the boning he deserved.....only for him to fall off the bed completely and nearly flatten the cat in the process. \*smiles fondly\* Thankfully we've gotten to the stage where moments like that don't actually seem embarrassing. They're just funny. Well, mostly. I still tell people I sprained my tailbone from falling downstairs, when actually I just fell off of Seb's dick while he was a little drunk, and hit the edge of the bathtub wrong. \*winces\*
**River, what’s your favorite mood to have your boyfriend in?**
R: Ooh, that's a difficult one.....probably when he gets all cute and flirty. It's really hard to resist when he bats those lashes at me, and flirts shamelessly. Either that, or his experimental moods where he wants to try all the things. That's how we ended up with paint in places it probably shouldn't.....
**College!River, just hypothetically how do you think you would handle accidentally getting someone pregnant? Emotionally speaking.**
R: Oh my god, I would absolutely love the chance to be a parent, even by accident. I've always wanted to have kids, to have that little person to hold and love unconditionally. That said, it wouldn't ultimately be my choice. It would be up to whoever I accidentally got pregnant, because as much as I would love to have kids, I couldn't push something like that onto someone who didn't want it. I would never push someone to keep a baby they didn't want, because that's just shitty. All things considered, I'd rather the person be happy and healthy than bringing a new life into the world that isn't wanted.
**Roommate AU!River, are there ever moments where you're more aware of the age difference between you and Seb? Or times when that makes your relationship awkward?**
R: Probably the moments when we're out together, and someone finds out we're a couple, and they balk. It's always a little uncomfortable for both me and Seb in those moments. People often jump to the conclusion that I'm taking advantage of him, which couldn't be further from the truth.
Between the two of us though, the age thing is so not an issue. Seb's a lot more mature than he gets credit for, even if he gets his stroppy teenager moments sometimes, and we work well as a couple. Not that we have much option, since our place is so tiny. If we didn't work well together, we'd end up killing each other. \*snickers\*
**Pirate!River, were you ever attracted to Sebastian before Havana happened? And if so was it like passing glance or unspoken place in alone time level of attraction?**
R: Oh, absolutely, but I always thought that was one-sided, and it was mostly in fleeting moments when I wasn't reminded of how much of a cabrón he is. Actually, there's been... \*coughs\* a few occasions where certain fantasies got me through a dry spell. You know, the what-ifs, what could have happened if we hadn't butted heads that night in Boston. Not that those are strictly fantasies any more. \*smirks\* Now I'm ridiculously attracted to him, and he knows it. What's even better is that he's equally as attracted to me, and it turns out those feelings run much deeper, which is...nice.
**River in a timeline where the twins are older and out. Be honest, is there any bias with how you've handled explaining sexuality to the twins vs. how you handled Kaisa?**
R: I don't...think so? Seb and I have always had the same approach to explaining sexuality to our kids, in that we show it more than say it. They've all grown up seeing Seb and I together, and seeing that as totally normal, as well as seeing all the other queer people in our lives. I'm sure seeing Oriel all these years is what helped Raph to come out himself, after all. Normalising sexuality and gender is what I've always aimed for, long before I even thought about having kids.
Did I always hope at least one of my kids would turn out queer? Sure I did. It's normal to want that sort of connection with your kids, to have that thing to bond over. That doesn't mean I favour the twins over Kaisa though, and Bas would probably agree. It doesn't matter who they want to sleep with, as long as they're being safe, and being honest about what they want.
**River, do you ever need some space to vent about your boyfriend’s mental health struggles?**
R: Oh, absolutely. I love Seb to death, don't get me wrong, but it gets frustrating at times to get through to him, since I can't exactly blow up at him for something out of his control. Trying to help him is always the priority, but sometimes that feels like the most difficult thing when I'm not in the right headspace for dealing with that.
That said, after all this time, I've developed some coping strategies for that. If I need to vent, or get out my frustrations, I'll go to one of those places where you can pay to throw plates at a wall for an hour or two. It's super cool, and gets me through the worst of the feelings, so I can go back to Seb and talk the rest out with him, once he's feeling better. It's really not a good idea to push those thoughts and feelings onto him when he's feeling shitty, because that just makes him retreat more and push down his feelings without dealing with them. \*shakes head fondly\* Even when he's in a bad place, he still has this stupid urge to help someone else.
**Question for River: Favourite memory with each of the kids?**
R: I have so many memories with the kids that I treasure - the majority of which I have Polaroids of. Seb calls me a sap for keeping all of them, but it's just nice to have something physical to hold onto for those times when I want to remember. Let's see....
Kaisa and I haven't had the easiest time of it while she was growing up, but one of my absolute favourite memories is when she won her first wrestling competition. She must have only been nine at the time, but when she won, she just looked so happy, my heart felt like it could burst. When she came down and hugged Seb and I, beaming from ear to ear, I was the proudest Papi in the world, and I wouldn't trade that feeling for anything.
On the other hand though, Adrien and I have always been close. We've made so many memories together in the kitchen, as well as in life. One particular memory that comes to mind though, is one late night when he was maybe thirteen or fourteen? Anyway, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, and I found Adri out on the back porch, sitting in the swing on his own. Now that boy's way too much like his father - all it took was a little cuddling and coaxing, and he ended up telling me about this guy in his class he had a crush on. \*smiles\* It wasn't his coming out, but the quiet intimacy of that moment makes it one of my favourite memories I have with my son.
And Izzy....oh, mi dulce Isabela. I can't pretend it's been easy to raise a deaf child as a hearing person, but I also don't understand how everyone doesn't just love her within minutes of meeting her. It's impossible not to catch that infectious joy that she brings with her everywhere, even when she doesn't say a word.
And as Bas likes to say, she's very much my daughter, which is probably why this memory is one of my favourites. I mentioned offhandedly over breakfast one day that I was going to Cupid's Closet - our local sex shop - to pick up some supplies later, if he wanted me to get anything in particular. What I wasn't expecting was for my seventeen year old to ask if she could come with me. Obviously I have no issues with my kids asking sex questions, and learning safe stuff - actually having sex is another thing, and not something I want to think about my kids doing, but that's my issue as a parent. Anyway, after much persuading Bas, I took Izzy with me, and we spent like two hours in the shop, as she asked me about certain vibrators, and other toys. It was the most adult conversation we'd ever had, and I really felt for the first time like she was my grown up girl now.
**Werewolf!River, how did you meet that group of crazies in London?**
R: Oh, now that takes me back. Well, I lived in various parts of the UK for a good while in the mid to late 2000s, and that's where I met the three of them. Seems so long ago now, but I still remember.
I met Charlie first when I was living in Fife - God, I miss Scotland - and it was definitely memorable. I had went out for a run, since it was late at night and I figured nobody else would be about. After a while, I decided to call it a night, so I went back to where I had stashed my clothes, and shifted back to human. I turned around, and there was this idiot girl standing there with her mouth wide open and a camera in her hands. The nudity didn't seem to bother her, and neither did the whole werewolf thing; she just wanted to get a good photo. \*laughs\* I took her for a drink, and we've been friends ever since.
Fast forward a few months, and Charlie and I were living together in the most darling little apartment in London. I started getting into the supernatural scene down there, meeting people and making connections through speed dating events. One of those connections was a super hot witch who also happened to be super gay. \*shakes head fondly\* I mean, it didn't stop us hooking up that night - Georgie loves a femme gal - but it was never going to be more than that. Either way, now she's one of my best friends in the whole world, and I love her, even when she's pranking Chris by sending him hex bags that make the whole house stink of Axe body spray for weeks. \*wrinkles nose\*
Jared was a surprise addition to our group, but I love him anyway. I was in this gay bar, and having a great time, when I suddenly saw this awkward little bean trying to flirt with someone who just wasn't interested. Well, my heart went out to him, so I walked over to ask for a dance. I tapped him on the shoulder, and scared him so much his skin flickered green for a second. \*laughs\* We danced, we dated, but ultimately we work better as friends. There's only one guy I'm interested in being with, and that's the clean-freak, irritable vampire in the bed beside me.
**River which two incarnations of Seb do you want a threeway with?**
R: I get to sleep with more than one Seb? \*squeals of excitement\* Oh, this is going to be fun. Let's see.... I guess I'd have to go with a vampire Seb - which, let's be real, is basically any version of Sebastian, only with different tastes in food and slightly longer canines - because just think about how good the night would be? The stamina you could build up over immortality has to be mind-blowing.
And then there's also this omega version of him that's just so adorable. I would have that Sebastian squirming underneath me with the slightest of touches. \*smirks\* Now that's a sandwich I wouldn't mind being the filling of.
**Modern!River, let's say there's a few other universes in which you could live, which one would you pick if you had the option?**
R: Well, I'm fabulous in any universe, so that's obviously a non-issue. \*grins\* But it would be pretty sweet if I could be in an alternate universe where I'm basically Wesley except gayer. I'd be a sexy pirate, brandishing a sword and protecting my Buttercup....or maybe my Inigo. \*sighs dreamily\* Ugh, the ship that should have sailed.
Seb would make an awesome pirate as well though, so I'd probably have to say one where we're pirates. Actually, pirates were super queer in general, so it would work out. We'll get married on a boat, and be awesome pirate husbands. \*beams\* Hey, Seb, want to take a cruise this summer?

**River, what’s the number one trait you look for in a partner? Could be physical or personality, whatever works.**
R: Oh, that's a thinker. Well, obviously it has to be someone who's open minded. I'm nowhere near the norm - not that I would ever want to be - and anyone I date has to be okay with all the different facets that make me who I am. I'm a pansexual, non-binary, queer person of colour, and I want to be with someone who understands that or is willing to learn.
Less deep though, I'm a total sucker for an artsy type. Creativity is hot, and so is expressing that creativity. That's a no-brainer though, since I'm currently dating a tattoo artist, and like two of my exes were artistic as well. Jared's a tattoo artist as well, and one of my ex-girlfriends had a thing for pottery. \*grins\* You bet we did the whole thing from the movie Ghost. Ooh, I wonder if Bas would be into doing that.....

**River (in a theoretical place of knowing all timelines), which stage of life do you prefer dealing with Seb in? Young and fragile or experienced and jaded?**
R: Hmm, that's a difficult one, because every aspect of Sebastian is wonderful, across the entire multiverse. I may be a little biased, since I'm dating him in all of those timelines \*smirks\* but he's still got that spark that I fell in love with, no matter what age he is.
That said, I think I might have to go with teenager Seb, only because I get him before he goes through the worst of the shit, and before he develops those defensive mechanisms that drive me up the wall. Inari would totally agree with me though, since she prefers Chris before he gets the chance to develop the bad dating habits he gets later in life.
Also, like, have you seen how freaking adorable he is when he's that young? Like, how can you not just squish those little cheeks?
I: Preach. About the pre-corruption part, not the squishing cheeks part. I just can't see Seb that way regardless of how old or young he is. Though Chris is cuter as a kid and he doesn't get on my nerves by doing too much. Even once I've known Chris for a while, he still gets on my nerves when he decides to get all weird about dating again. Teaching that man to calm down is a full time job, I swear.
**River, does it piss you off when your husband encourages your daughter’s fighting tendencies?**
R: Not a fan. As parents, our job is to teach our kids that throwing punches isn't the way to deal with conflicts.....and it's kind of difficult when your husband keeps encouraging your daughter to get into fights. I don't want her to one day get into a fight that she won't walk away from. I've seen too many people go that way, and it doesn't end well.
**Roommate!River, do you ever make Seb jealous intentionally with stories about your past exploits? Like to get things going in the bedroom?**
R: Oh my goodness, I would never! I know that my more...extensive list of past sexual experiences is daunting for Seb, and I would never want to make him uncomfortable or insecure about anything like that. I mean, the most I would do is casually mention something I've never tried before, and suggesting that we can do it together. That works a hell of a lot though, since I guess he likes the new stuff we can share together, as opposed to him feeling like he has to compare to Nicolas or any of my past relationships.
Not that he even compares to any of them. Seb's so much better than anyone I've ever been with, in so many ways and not just in the bedroom. He matches with me on so many different levels, and I love that. Where I can be a little bitchy, he rises and can more than out-bitch me, and when it comes to exploring new things we can do together, he's just as up for anything as I am.
I'm so fucking in love with him that it hurts, in the best way.
**Pirate!River, do you think your crew would be all that upset if they found out about your relationship? They seem to all be accepting enough of you and the relationship you had with Nicolas.**
R: The fact that it's with a man would shock.....well, absolutely no-one. I don't make a secret of the fact that I like men and women in equal measures, and nobody's ever really made much of a thing about it. Actually, outside of a few who have joined since then, most of the crew was around to witness my relationship with Nicolas, and that was totally chill.
That I'm together with Sebastian, though? Now that would cause a bit of fuss. \*grimaces\* There's bad blood between the two crews, no thanks to me, and if it came out that I'm with Sebastian, I fear that some of the crew would feel betrayed and feel that I'm fraternising. It would be difficult, to say the least.
**Demon!River, did you ever think you'd find yourself so attached to a human? Were there any others before him?**
R: Oh absolutely not! I mean, I’ve certainly had flirtations over the centuries - I am the demon of lust after all. I was the one who caused the Trojan war, because all those dudes got a hard on for Helen. \*grins\* But nobody’s ever gotten a hold on my heart like Sebastian has.
He’s special though. He’s not as interested in the sex....okay, that’s a bald-faced lie, he loves the sex - but there’s much more to it than just fucking. He’s sweet, and emotional, and he wants to lie together and cuddle, which is so amazing. We actually have a relationship that isn’t centred around sex, for once in my long life, and...I love him.

**Modern River: It’s established that there’s a timeline out there where Seb is trans, do you ever wish you could be with that Seb? Or maybe just meet him?**
R: I would love to meet all the Sebastians across all timelines and worlds - it would be like Christmas come early! \*laughs\* If my Seb is any indication, more would be a wild ride, which I would be more than happy to get on. That said, I probably wouldn’t sleep with any, because isn’t that cheating? Or is it cheating if they’re all versions of the same person? Huh. Now there’s the existential question of the day.
C: You going to actually answer the question?
R: Oh, yeah. It would be real nice to meet a Sebastian who truly understood what it’s like to be trans, but...that would also be difficult to see, because I know how hard it is, and I would never wish that on anyone, let alone someone with existing mental health problems like Seb. My Seb is perfect just the way he is. That said....wait, that Sebastian is pregnant?! With my baby?! \*squealing loud enough to break the sound barrier\*
**College!River.....if you had the option to push a magical button and become a cis woman, would you?**
R: No. Not in any way, shape or form, would I take that deal. I'm not a woman any more than I'm a man, despite how I present or what's between my legs. It would feel equally as dysphoric to wake up one morning with a vagina, as it already is to wake up with a penis, so I'm flat out saying no. I'm very much the middle of the spectrum when it comes to gender, if a little leaning towards the feminine side.
Besides all that, it would probably be the end of my relationship if I was a cis woman. Sebastian's sexuality's a little more fluid than flat-out gay, but he's still gay. If I was a cis woman....we wouldn't last very long, and I would choose that man over anything else in this world, so that's just not an option.
Not to mention, I really fucking love being non-binary, and as shit as it gets some days, I wouldn't change that for the world.

**Modern!River, what's it like learning to be a brat tamer? Fun? Intimidating?**
R: You know I love a new project, and that's just what this is. It's learning a new skill, and learning about a whole new subculture. I'm so excited to get to try out some of the stuff I've learned from other brat tamers, so I can rock Seb's world. There's these phrases I want to try out, to toy with him, and get him to let that submissive side out.
That's slightly more intimidating, but only because I realise it won't be easy to get him to let his walls down for playing with this. It's too bad I like a challenge then, right? He's an adorable little brat, and I can't wait to get him under my thumb. There's this list of creative punishments that I found on an online forum....
**River: Any differences you've noticed between raising Kaisa, and the twins?**
R: The biggest difference for me, I've found, is that we have a better idea of what to do when it comes to the twins because we've already raised Kaisa. She pushed us to our limits at times, but it gave us a better understand of our role as parents, which we could then improve on as the twins were growing up.
Obviously there was a leap from raising one abled child, to raising a differently abled daughter - for Izzy, she's not disabled, she doesn't consider her deafness to be a disability - but I would never have it any other way. For her to be born deaf, just gave us a better opportunity to learn how to connect with her from the start, rather than her losing her hearing in life.
Adrien's actually been the easiest, from what I've experienced. He's so much like Bas is, that it was easy for me to know how to get through to him and what worked and didn't work. Yelling doesn't work, but being the one to listen? That works. I mean, it's not a totally smooth ride all the time, but I like having that connection with my son.

Seb: Getting them not to leave their clothes lying everything is one. Or their dishes. Just cleaning in general. I swear to fuck, I spend half the fucking morning cleaning their shit up. And they have a god awful habit of sticking their nose where it doesn't belong. That's always fun to deal with when we're trying to have a chill night and they keep trying to play matchmaker or some shit. \*sighs\*
But...it's hard to stay mad at them when they work so hard to make other people smile. Like anyone, even strangers, who look down or upset will get a pep talk from them, and it's fucking ridiculous but cute. And I don't think I've ever seen them enter a room and not immediately go to hug the nearest person or plop down on top of them. It never matters what you're doing, once they see you, it's too late. Just their laugh is so cute. It's more of a giggle and a little mischievous, like they're always trying to play a trick on you. And how they get when they're in the mood and they ambush you with that long, sexy kind of kiss that makes it damn near impossible to say no, but if you do \*laughs\* you don't say it for long.
**Seb - can you rank all your friends in order from most toppy to most bottomy?**
Seb: ..........\*long sigh\* Why? Why the fuck would I ever think about that? Who the fuck thinks about that kind of shit?!
Inari: I can help.
Seb: Don't! Fine, here's your weird list, but I'm not giving details...just don't tell anyone...

* Inari
* Jasso
* Oriel (meaning he'll tell you hell no without hesitating)
* Alyssa
* River
* Alexa
* Chris
* Laurent

Inari: What about Leena?
Seb: Leena's too little to on this list.
Inari: She has a child.
Seb: She's. Too. Little. To. Be. On. This. List.
Inari: ...Probably just under me--
Seb: We're done!
**Modern!Seb, which version of River would you most want to bang? Other than your own River, that is.**
S: Um...huh. That's a good question. Riv and I have a good thing going between us, but if I had to pick a different them...maybe one of their incarnation that has more...teeth? Like either werewolf!River or alpha!River. My River is a good top and all, but there's something kind of hot imagining a version of them that's willing to get a little more wild than usual. Just dominating completely without holding anything back. Maybe getting a little rough. Just one night where we could both completely lose control...

* blushes\* Anyway, yeah, kind of a toss up between those two. I need to go do...something.

**Seb, what are some of your favourite pieces from River's closet?'**
S: \*muttering\* Why are all these questions so fucking weird...\*sighs\* There’s this one skirt they have that’s layered. It’s fluffy enough that it can obscure...a lot. I remember testing that one day when they decided to sit on me at the beach when it was so fucking hot out. Didn’t take long for my hand to convince them it was tome to go. \*smirks\*
Not that I rank their outfits in terms of sexual availability. They’ve got a really cute shirt too that falls off one of their shoulders and a giant sweater that only ever comes out when we go visiting colder places. When they pair those shirts with one of their miniskirts...fuck, I never thought the sweet and sexy look was for me, but they proved me wrong.
But they could walk around in a potato sack and still be attractive to me, so I don’t have too many strong attachments to their clothes.
**Poly!Seb: What’s your favourite parts of Chris? We know about how you feel about Inari and River, but what about your sweet beta?**
S: Chris is the calm one, and that’s not a backhanded way to say boring. Having that one mate who I can always go to and know that I’ll get some peace and quiet is so huge. A quick hi and we can just exist in the same space without having to clarify what we want or feel uncomfortable. It’s comfortable.
That’s a lot of what I like about him. He’s really comfortable to be around. Yeah, his scent plays into it since that’s a beta’s thing, but it’s also how much we have in common. More than half the time I walk in on him doing something, I can immediately jump into a conversation. Like art, we talk about that quite a bit.
That and it’s pretty fun topping him. I don’t go as intense with him as I do with River since I know they’ve got different boundaries, but it can be fun to start kissing him and exploring when he’s not paying attention and see how long it for him to melt. He’s cute when he’s desperate.
**Elemental!Seb of the future, any cute/funny anecdotes about the twins coming into their powers?**
S: More than a few, but I'll pick some of the better ones. For all the struggles we had with those two, I'd never trade either of them for the world. I can remember when their powers first came in, Izzy was a little disappointed she couldn't make ice sculptures like I could. She's loved art since the moment she could scribble with a crayon. Since Inari, River and I basically trained the twins together, I started taking some time helping Izzy learn how to put on a safe light show with her abilities. I mostly helped her to brainstorm ideas and put out the inevitable fires, but we lost track of time so easily playing out in the training field late at night. Which was just as since Adrien was happy to be in the kitchen with River learning how to use his powers to make ice cream. \*laughs\* A total waste of time and energy, and those kids get to do it as often as they want. Seeing their smiles is worth so much more than some hollow sense of prestige.
Then there are the days when their abilities give them away. You never have to ask if the twins are upset with each other. Just look for an indoor storm cloud from their hot and cold air clashing and you'll have your answer. With those two it's usually small things like someone not cleaning up their mess or taking a toy, so it's easier to laugh when they end up signing furiously to each other in the middle of whirlwind.
Oh. \*snickers\* Adrien doesn't have the same issues with being cold that I have, but occasionally when he gets excited, he can get a little chilly. When he had his first boyfriend over \*chuckles\* he must have spent the whole night being worked up because when that poor boy went for a good night kiss, their lips stuck together. \*snorts\* It was so hard not to laugh in that moment when Adrien came stumbling into the living room attached to the other boy like that. It was easy enough to separate the with some warm water, so no harm was done. River and I still spent the rest of the night chuckling about it while Adrien sulked in his room. He was fine the next day and he'll even joke about it now if he's in a good enough mood. Or if he wants to pester Jae. Fuck, that boy is so much like River, it worries me some days

**Pirate!Seb, what do you think about the community in the modern day as opposed to your era?**
S: They stopped hanging people, so that's progress.
It's a better world for the people who live in it. Their struggles continue and now they have the option to come together to fight rather than having to hide to survive. It's good.
If you were expecting a bigger reaction, I would suggest asking River. I don't spend my time focusing on what-ifs when I can avoid them. I have to live in my world, my time. Letting my crew know about preference is difficult enough without considering what could be done to make society at large more accepting. I would encourage the people living in that future to enjoy what they have and hold on to it tightly. Life has a habit of taking good things away from you when you least expect it.
**Trans!Seb, you always get the gloomy questions, so here's a chance to happily gush - what's some of the things River's done to help you through the pregnancy? What are some of the high points, the ones you laugh at remembering?**
S: Yeah, there were a few. One of the first that comes to mind happened after one of my...many freak outs. Specifically when I accused River of only being with me because of the baby. Shitty in hindsight, but at the time it felt like all we ever talked about. That gave River the idea to start having date nights again where it was just us without any talk about babies or school or anything. We still had to plan around there being a baby in me, but other than dietary restrictions and shit, we picked up where we left off. Those nights kept us both sane. Having a specific evening once every week or so to forget about the world and pick back up on those feelings without the future looming over us gave us a chance to just be in love again.
Shit, that's so fucking sappy. What else? I don't have much about the year that makes me laugh. So many of the symptoms I experienced are so deeply rooted in being feminine that I actively fought a lot of it. But River did a lot to help me get through it. Some days that meant listening when I needed to get the dark thoughts out of my head. Other days that meant getting me a canvas to make one of those crazy, unhinged art pieces that has no meaning and scares the neighbors when they see it hanging in the living room.
River read so many fucking bonkers articles about how to get ready for a baby. I do laugh about some of those conversations. Like when they wanted me to eat fucking kale for like two weeks or when they were going to get the feng shui of our house perfect and pissed off everyone in the house by moving their shit around. Those moments when I got to feel like the comparatively sane one helped in a way that River probably never intended to help. Oh, convincing them to make the most of our accident was a bonus. Like I couldn't get more pregnant so protection and timing and all that shit became meaningless. Until near the end when tiredness and all that other shit that comes with getting ready to push a human out of you, we made good use out of being free to do whatever the fuck we wanted together consequence-free. Call me a basic bastard, but more sex will never not be a good thing to me. That might have been one of our earliest conversations after the dust settled. I was sure as shit not going to be celibate for damn near a whole year with a child happening at the end and I needed to be sure they knew that immediately. Which, in hindsight, is kind of funny.
That's the best I got. Don't know how gushy this is, but... \*shrugs\*
**Trans!Seb.....if you had the option to push a magical button and become a cis dude, would you?**
S: I...I don't know. I feel like i want to say because...unlike River, I have the luxury of being a binary trans person so it would actually take away the dysphoria I feel. Or I think it would.
See...I don't hate all of my body. The thought of waking up to completely different body tomorrow is kind of terrifying. Maybe if I could chose to be born that way, I would feel different. Honestly, this is a lot of why surgery scares me. Like I want and I need it so I can stop feeling sick when I look at my own chest, but waking up to that new reality is going to be hard. Good once I get used to it, but hard. Handling that bit by bit with some therapy to guide me seems doable. Hitting a button that makes me a different person? Fuck.
Maybe it would take away my dysphoria, but maybe it would give me a different kind. And what would it do to my relationship with River? Would I lose that bond that we have? We've helped each other through a lot of shit. I would hate to lose any of that.
Would I wish this upon myself in another life? No. But this is the life I have and I'm learning to make the most of it. And just thinking about this is...fuck. I don't know. I really don't know.

**Seb: How did you adjust to parenting Izzy? What sort of challenges did you face, and do you think you go easy on her at all?**
S: It was a new level of challenge. Early on we had to pick up another language to communicate with her--which for me was about language number...I don't even know anymore--and continue researching after that to understand the community that she would be apart of. That alone took up a good chunk of our free time when the twins were young. It got easier once we got connected to resources. Thankfully, Izzy was a much calmer child than Adrien and Kaisa which made learning how to help her easier than it might have been if we'd had as much trouble getting her sit still as we used to have with Adrien.
The challenges, in my opinion, came when Izzy got older. I've never gone easier on her than the other two, but Izzy inherited River's carefree attitude about...everything. Honestly, her being deaf was easy to tackle compared to her when she started dating. Having the talk with Adrien about boundaries seemed to work, but Izzy doesn't give a shit. At all. The girl hasn't understood shame one goddamn day in her life. Quite frankly I'm at a loss for how to control her. You'd have better luck trying to convince a fucking rock to learn about modesty. If she wasn't into dressing masculine, she'd probably dress as shamelessly as she acts. As is we have more issues with Adrien showing too much skin in the summer.
I know Kaisa thinks the twins have it easier than her because they're younger, but I can honestly say it has more to do with the unnerving amount of calm that Izzy has in the face talks with us. Riv and I have never been the kind of parents to punish any of our kids excessively--hell, River's so sex positive all of the kids would call us out if punished them for dating. I just wish she'd stop having sex when everyone's home and very much aware of all the sounds coming from her room.
**Modern!Seb, what do you think about people who first assume you and River are a heterosexual couple?**
S: It’s weird. I get why—River looks really femme most of the time—but growing up thinking I’d be with a guy if I was with anyone hasn’t really prepared me for being assumed hetero. It’s kind of funny. It only really bothers me if we run into gatekeepers now. Like other gay people who don’t want to let me claim the word because they think River is a woman when we meet them. Discussions about labels are just frustrating to me.

* shrugs\* I can cope with it. It’s just annoying to me. I let River take the lead in those situations since it’s their identity being erased. I know going stealth can feel safer for them depending on the circumstances.

**Vamp!Seb, any funny sides to dating a werewolf?**
S: You mean other than all the ways I can fuck with them when I'm bored?
I: Yeah, you only fuck with the wolf you're dating.
S: Be grateful I stopped setting up my anti-wolf traps a century back or one of you would've been sick for a week. \*snickers\* It's always fun throwing random shit and watching their eyes follow whatever it was or even chasing the fucking thing if it's close enough to the full moon. Fuck, they whine so much when I do that, but it's too cute to be aggravating. Then there's my personal favourite of strolling around with them and watching other people who've known me for centuries sneer. Most of them go out of their way to keep up that hate for appearance. Most of the ones still living never had to face down an actual wolf in the streets. Back when I was first turned, you only lived past your human lifespan if you know how to fight or had the money to buy yourself protection. We only started to mix in the recent years when those old bastards decided they wanted to start reliving their glory days in a modern world that stopped caring about them when supernaturals became a known quantity. \*smirks\*
But this about dating a werewolf, not the outdated habits of my kind. I'm obligated to include the times when the full moon is getting closer and River gets very enthusiastic in bed. It'd be dangerous if I were human, but thankfully, I'm durable enough to enjoy the ride and live to tell about it. Not funny per say, but I enjoy those perks immensely. Speaking of the full moon, helping River recover the next day can lead to a few amusing moments. I've seen them tear into raw steak and get so frustrated when their human jaw couldn't handle actually tearing the meat. I learned to cut their food up after that to help their human brain get back control from their wolf brain. Oh, they'll occasionally lap at what their drink as well. It usually takes them a moment to realise they're doing it and it's so hard not to laugh when you see a giant like them trying to lap up water from a glass while they're texting on their phone. \*snorts\*
I: You're just amused by dog behaviors?
S: The unfounded animosity between my kind and yours has kept me from interacting with wolf before this. I'm allowed to enjoy a novelty. Fuck knows they're rare enough when you've lived as long as I have. You'd understand if you ever got so bored that reading up on quantum physics sounded like an engaging past time.
I: Some people out there like physics.
S: You're missing the point. Before I get distracted again, it's also pretty cute when River licks my cheek or something when they're only half-awake. It always catches me off guard, but I love it.

**Modern!Seb, how would you feel about River using the word “Papi” during sex? Would it have the same effect as if they were to use Daddy, or would it be a turn on?**
S (current): Um, I don't know. It feels less weird, maybe because I didn't grow up experiencing that weird dissonance of the word being sexual and innocent at the same time. Like Daddy just...I can't. It kind of makes my skin crawl. But I guess Papi can get mixed in with River's other Spanish when they're really worked up, so all of that is kind of hot. I think we both know how good it feels to get each other worked up so much that we forget English. You feel like a fucking sex machine when that happens.
If you're talking about in like a title way like BDSM people do it, I think I'd have an easier time with Sir. It's less charged and more...chill like our dynamic is. If it helps River get what they need out of our scene, I don't mind it at all.
S (post-kids): \*laughs\* Yeah, no. That ship sailed the minute we both started hearing Kaisa call River that. I just can't stop myself from laughing now when it comes up.

**Ice!Seb of the future, what’s it like parenting two elementals? Both with mixed powers instead of just one?**
S: Like the universe punishing me for what I did as a teenager?
Okay, it's not that bad. Some days it can feel that way, but only when Adrien's throwing a fit. Izzy is so calm we've almost never had issues with her and it's a blessing. The most difficult with her has been coordinating with Inari to be sure Izzy learns how to use both aspects of her abilities. But for all the calm that we get with Izzy, her brother can a completely different story. Adrien is already prone to dramatics and teaching him not to let his abilities get away from him has taken quite a bit more time and patience. The occasional times when the twins argue is probably the worst it can get, but once we learned the warning signs, we started pulling them into the training room to talk things out.
They're both sweet and I love them to pieces. There are just days when I desperately feel like I need a vacation. I suppose we're lucky Aleski only ended up with one ability or we'd have three child making life difficult.
**Seb, tell us a secret about River that we probably don’t know - something weird they do, or something like that.**
S: They do plenty of weird things, but there's not much that they won't talk about themself. \*smirks\* Though there was this one night they got it into their head to try making their own edible lube. I told them not to, but they went on about how they knew how to modify recipes and it couldn't be that hard. Three hours later, they tried some and spent the rest of the night in the bathroom throwing up everything they had eaten in the past week. I don't make a habit of laughing at them when they're miserable, but that moment felt justified. They've stuck to melting chocolate whenever they want to get creative since then. \*frowns\* Though there was also the time they got too into the chocolate and bit my dick...
**Seb, if you had never met any of your friends or River, who do you think you'd have a thing with? Hypothetically speaking, of course.**
S: Who would I? Um...I guess you mean my immediate friend group, not everyone I've ever known. It's hard to think of anyone would...um...fit as well. I mean I had people I liked in the past, but there was never the kind of click that me and River have. I guess that wouldn't matter if I had never experienced it. Shep comes to mind, but he broke things off with me and never showed any sign of wanting to pick things up again.
If I dug down far...like far far because this is a total what-if, assuming I never left Finland and assuming he ever felt this way, which he probably didn't...uh...I always kind of thought Eevert and I would...work. It's a big what-if because he was honestly always out of my league, but...like...we used to hangout a lot and it was...fun. And he's attractive. I don't know, it was a childhood crush, so it's probably not exactly how I remember anyway. No, I'm not blushing, it's the goddamn lights in here. \*walks off grumbling\*
**Pirate!Seb, what do you think might have happened differently if you and River had hit it off that night you met instead of getting on each other’s nerves? What would your present day relationship look like under those circumstances?**

S: That...I don't know. We might not be in the position that we are today if never into it with each other. This rivalry started between us, but it moved down into our crews for whatever reason which is why neither of us know how to approach this relationship in an open way. I've never asked them what got them so pissy that first day. I was staring, but for someone who claims to enjoy being the center of attention that should've fed their inflated ego. Maybe I reacted more defensively than I needed to. I wasn't the picture of confidence myself.
I suppose we would have had learned to enjoy each other's company sooner. We lost seven years on that feud. Would we have gotten together sooner? Maybe. Would we have gotten together at all? I have no idea. I felt a spark that first day, but we were both different people. I don't know if River would have wanted to put up with someone as inexperienced and easily spooked as I was. They've gotten a relatively better deal waiting these years out. \*laughs\* Nothing spectacular, but that's their choice. I don't know if I would be the man I am today if we had known each other sooner. A friendship between us might have made us incompatible for one reason or another.
Fuck, this is why I don't dwell on what if's. Anything could have happened, but it didn't. We bitched at each other for seven years until I got drunk and things changed. Anything that could have happened never did. We can't change that. We can only move forward.

**Seb - did you ever think you’d fall for a demon? And is there any pleasantly surprising aspects to the relationship?**
S: I didn't think demons existed until this year, so no, I never thought I'd be in a relationship with one. Everything about this year has been crazy, but in a good way. River and the others came along when I needed someone, and I'll always be grateful for that.
What we have has obvious perks; sex with the demon lord of lust is incredible and probably better than I'll ever get with any human that will ever exist. But the special thing that me fall for them came way before we ever slept together. They barely knew me that night when I...when everything almost ended. They could have walked away or gotten my soul or whatever stereotypical thing demons would do, but they got me help instead. And then they stayed with me. They would check in on me constantly and hold me just because they knew it helped, but they never asked for anything in return. None of them did. It felt like someone saw me for the first time in a fucking long time.
River's only gotten more ridiculous since then. They're dramatic and absurd and a real bitch when they don't get what they want, but also kind to like every creature they come across and passionate to a fault and really fucking funny. They make every moment worth living. Fuck, it they wanted my soul, I'd give it to them without hesitating. It's already theirs.
**Childhood!Seb, what’s it like to be crushing on the hot cheerleader with the queer fan club of freshmen?**
S: It sucks. What do you think it feels like?
I: Please don't give him more of a reason to bitch.
S: That's right, laugh it up. My life's a complete joke. I'm gay and I've got depression despite having an ass for a father who doesn't belief that either of those are actually real. My best friend is hot as hell, sweeter than should be fucking possible for one human being, and completely uninterested in me but I'm incapable of taking a hint so my stupid ass still has a crush of them after years of knowing that nothing will ever happen. Add in my dreams about art as a career being stupid and unrealistic, and my shitty attempts to date otherwise that got me outed by a douchebag and into an on-again, off-again thing with another one of our friends and I became the biggest jackass on the planet. It's so fucking funny I don't know how I'm not dying of fucking laughter every hour of the fucking day. \*walks off\*
I: Where are you going?
S: To see if Lola's holding "art club" right now. Fuck off.
I: \*sighs\* I swear this boy is gonna have some kind of substance abuse on his record before he gets out of high school.

**Seb, have you ever had to protect your cousin from anything? Or is she more inclined to protect you?**
S: We never lived all that close to each, so I haven’t had many opportunities to be close enough to. But I can think of a few times it came up.
Sanna can take care of herself, so the way I approach helping her is the same as when I’m helping Inari. If I can intimidate the scumbag trying to give either of them trouble, that’s one less argument they’re forced to have. Either of them would be fine on their own. I do my best to give them a break when I’m around.
I think the worst incident that I can think of when she was visiting two years ago. We were actually at a gay bar which usually means that there’s less to worry about, but some guy picked that night to stalk people at that bar. No one noticed him at first, but he noticed Sanna. About halfway through the night, she came back to me looking pissed as all hell and said that a guy was following her around and had almost gone so far as to follow her into the bathroom. Being that Sanna knew more than me about trans stuff, I trusted her to know that he wasn’t just some transwomen who wasn’t passing that night. And he wasn’t. She had specifically gone in when two other women did, washed her hands, and then gone back out which is when she almost ran into him. He never when into the bathroom, only wandered off back into the crowd to continue following her. That was more shit than I was going to deal with.
I suggested we leave and see if he followed. If he didn’t, we could go to a different place. We got outside and started the short hike back to the car. About halfway down the street, she told me he was there. Now I might’ve been tipsy and pissed at that point, so I suggested we go around a corner and wait for him. He came jogging and I grabbed him and slammed him into a wall. We had a good chat about what happens to bastards who try to stalk people before I sent him off.
There have been a few times where it’s been the other way around though you’d have to ask her for specifics.

**Pirate!Seb, did you figure out you were gay before or after leaving to become a pirate? And what was that experience/revelation like?**
S: After. Mostly. There...might've been a few hints before that.
I left Finland for a number of reasons. One of them was my mother asking after the hand of a family friend's daughter. She meant nothing bad by it...I never told her that I was against it. It happened as I was already considering leaving to find a more profitable profession, so I...left before it became an issue. I wasn't aware of why I didn't want to marry. I just knew I didn't want it.
Nothing came up again until a few months had passed on the ship. The other men liked to make jokes about me and Inari, but I ignored them for the most part. I was more concerned with doing my best on the ship and earning good enough wages to send home. It wasn't until we landed in Nassu for the first time in my service that I became aware of my differentness. The men all headed off in search of the taverns and the whorehouses, and several offered to take me along thinking they were doing me a favour. I refused and said I wanted to save my coin, and they all laughed saying I wouldn't be saying that in a year or two.
That was what made me start to wonder. I had begun puberty and I knew others expected boys my age to be taking an interest in women, but I...just felt nothing when I saw them. I had seen naked women in ports before and I never paused to look or think about it. What I also realised was that I had begun to stare at men. I tried to tell myself that I was only envisioning what I might look like someday after a few years working on a ship, but not even I could believe that. Looking at their chests and arms would be one thing, but focusing on someone's ass? I panicked after bit of self-reflection.
I wanted to prove myself wrong so I rushed off to the nearest brothel. It was...an unpleasant experience and, honestly, I tipped the poor girl after to apologize. Rather than take that as a hint, I immediately went to a different brothel and found a different woman hoping it had been a matter of preference. I forced myself to stop after that, otherwise I might've blown all of my money on uncomfortable sex. I didn't know if that would have been better or worse. I spent the remainder of that trip in a tavern; not drinking only because I couldn't afford that much rum. I was terrified that I was broken. I wanted some miracle woman to appear from the sky and break the curse I was under.
Inari almost fulfilled that wish. She got a confession out of me about the brothels and my issues and how terrified I was. Being Inari, she laughed. It all seemed so simple to her, so she told me that I liked men and there was nothing wrong with that. She made the valid point that many pirate crew out there had men who married in the pirate way. Which I shouldn't have needed to be told, but I was being willfully ignorant. I think we spent a month debating that before she got fed up and challenged me to kiss her if I was so straight. I did...and we both almost puked.
With that experiment failed, I was on shakier ground but still too stubborn to admit she was right, so Inari came up with one final test. The very next port we docked in, she took me to a brothel. A male brothel. To say I was terrified when I walked inside would be a gross understatement. I was sixteen and completely unaccustomed to being in a room full of scantily clad people I actually found enticing. And I didn't want to admit that I thought that. Inari told me she would pay for a night with one of the men and if I hated it, she would leave me be to figure out my women issue. Despite my own intention to avoid situations like this, I agreed. I don't know if it was some attempt to prove her wrong or just part of me that wanted to finally experience the kind of pleasure that all the men talked about. She was kind enough to find one of the more down to earth men and explain the situation before she left.
I'll always be grateful to that man. He had so much patience. We went up to that room and he had to spend the first half an hour coaxing me into a kiss. It quickly tumbled out of control from there. Unsurprisingly, I enjoyed it. I loved every minute of it. We kept it simple as it was my first time with a man, but I walked out of that brothel the next morning with a new outlook on life.
Since then I've kept it quiet because...well, I don't know. Rodriguez made it clear that he had no tolerance for deviant behavior, so I was too afraid to let him know about it. When I became captain...I had gone so many years without letting the crew know I didn't know how they would react. I made clear those ideas died with Rodriguez, but I kept my own business quiet. It felt safer. So far as my crew is aware, I disappear on "business" in port. If that business happens to take me to those carefully hidden molly houses or the like, no one has to know.
Though now it's gotten complicated again. \*sighs\* That's a problem for another day.

**Seb, which of the twins' girlfriends/boyfriends have you liked and not liked, and for what reasons?**
S: I have to like some of them?
Adrien's only had the one shitty one. The others are tolerable. I remember the little bastard when he came to dinner one night after the two had been dating for a few weeks. He had that front of "good kid" and said all his pleases and thank yous, but then I noticed he refused to talk to River. I took it for shyness at first when he ignored them asking how he was, but when he ignored them asking about his family and focused on talking to me and only me at dinner, it took some self-control to keep from smacking the brat. I wasn't sure if it was because of their identity or something else until I talked with Izzy later that night and heard from her about him calling her racial slurs behind Adrien's back. I was going to have a talk with Adrien the next day, but apparently that night was enough to make the bastard break things off with Adrien. Good thing too because I was prepared to tell Adrien his boyfriend had to make apologies if he ever wanted to come into our home again.
Izzy has had worse luck, though I don't think any of her girlfriends were as malicious. There was the one who used her to try and get to Adrien. That bitch can also never enter my house. She hurt Izzy and left Adrien reeling for days after that while he tried to come to terms with himself. She deserves someone who wants to make her happy. On a personally level, there was another one who was a complete slob. I hated having to clean up after that kid every time she came over. I'm glad that relationship was short.
Good ones? I remember one of Izzy's girlfriends--third or fourth I want to say--who was an absolute sweetheart. She used to take Izzy out for surprise dates and I could see how happy those moments made her. The girl had a bit of a punk rock style too. Had to give her some points for style.
And I have to admit, Jae is the best boyfriend Adrien's ever had. It's spooky how much the two of them remind me of River and myself. Ungodly spooky some days when they're arguing about something. But Adrien's happier than I've seen him with anyone else and they're out of the house, so I never have to worry about walking in on them. That alone makes me feel so much better.

**Modern!Seb, what do you think of your ice-wielding teenage counterpart? Especially how his relationship with his River is.**
S: How my what...\*peeks through the universe curtain\*...oh dear fuck. Jesus, I thought I had enough problems as a kid.
...Can't say I ever wanted special powers. Or more reasons to hate my isa. Or a more pathetic existence than I already like seriously, I think that kid needs to get a life.
It's kind of cute see River in this world though. Them being them. They would be the one to try and save an idiot like that. \*smiles\* They've got a heart big enough to love the whole world. I know I can be a selfish dick about that some days, but I'd never change them for the world. I'd take any amount of terrible luck if it meant they could come out the other side of the deal happier. I'd do anything to know that they could be smiling and laughing and doing all that they love to do every day.
Fuck, now I'm starting to sound like a sap.

**Seb, we know your relationship with Kaisa is close, but how would you describe your relationship with Izzy? Are you close? Have you had any unique bonding moments?**
S: I would like to think we're close. I've never had any major issues with any of the kids. Adrien gravitates toward River more, but he doesn't dislike me. Izzy...I don't know if I could say she favors one of us over the other. I know that we've had some good moments working on art together. Seeing her get excited about art reminded me of growing up with aiti and that got me excited in turn, so I used to do everything I could to encourage her. Something about doing art together, not just the usual arts and crafts but practicing a medium together, was so special.I know I can think of so many afternoons when she came home from school where we would sit together playing with different kinds of paints. She quickly became the master out of the two of us, and having her teach me a few techniques only made those moments sweeter. She was so good at explaining the concepts, I used to tell her all the time she could a fantastic teacher when she grew up if she ever wanted to be one.
She might have River's penchant for trouble--and getting laid--but there are so many more sides that sweet kid. It makes me happy to see whenever a new one comes up.

**Trans!Seb, what’s the best parts about dating someone who’s also trans?**
S: River gets a lot that other people have to have explained to them. Like just dating seemed fucking impossible before them. I lucked into meeting Chris, but after we broke up, I felt paralyzed. I wanted to date River, yeah, but it also felt like I needed to. Like presenting myself as a gay man to other gay men who are expecting me to have a penis can end badly, but going after straight guys just felt wrong. River never needed explanations or any of that. They accepted me from the moment we met. And they’re hot as fuck, so who even cares about dating anyone else?
Not to mention, they get having a bad day. Going through periods and that shit still makes me feel awful. River is so good on those days. They were even before we got together. I try to be good in return on their bad days because they fucking deserve the best.
**Seb, spill the tea on your favourite cousin. What are some secrets/embarrassing moments you can tell us?**
S: \*smirks\* We used to get into all kinds of shit when we were younger, but our preteens probably has some of the best/worst stories in it. Like dying Sanna's hair pink which turned out to be a really ugly orange because neither of use knew anything about dying hair. We stained täti's sink and one of her good towels; I doubt she's forgiven either of us for the towel.
Oh, Sanna used write edgy poetry too. Not the good kind. \*laughs\* One vacation she convinced me to run a poem over to one of her friends she was crushing on, but the girl thought I had wrote it. That turned into the weirdest week of me trying to dodge the girl and hangout with Sanna, while she tried to talk to clear up the misunderstanding, and the girl tried to get my number or convince me to invite her to California so she could meet Brad Pitt or whoever. It was probably an easier fix than we all made it out to be, but it did keep my setä amused for the week.
But I can't complain about be dragged into the occasional scheme of hers. She's been there for me through some of the worst parts of my life; her and Inari. I don't know if I'd still be around without them.
**Roommate!Seb; are there ever moments where you're more aware of the age difference between you and River? Or times when that makes your relationship awkward?**
S: Don't listen to them. River acts more like a teenage than I ever could and they know it. But, yeah, those assholes can go fuck themselves for trying to make River feel like some pervert just because I've a few years younger. As if they have any manipulative bones in their body.
But, yeah, there's not a lot of issues between us. They can be overbearing some days and getting them to keep the apartment clean took a few weeks of arguing, but we're good together. Or more accurately they're good for me. I mean...\*looks around\*...I've never said so to them, but I know they could have had a better life with Nicolas. Just from a financial perspective, an accountant makes more than I'll ever make unless I somehow get my name out there as a tattoo artist. And he's old enough to have a savings, good credit, all of that shit that makes life so much easier. Hell, just bringing them random presents takes a week of planning to be sure it won't affect the next rent payment. And Nicolas is reliable. I try to be there for River as much as I can, but, fuck, I can't even cook and there are days when my mental health makes getting out of bed a struggle. They've been on me to take care of that, and I try not to let it affect them, but you can't control everything. I just wish I could do more for them.
So...I guess I do struggle with that age difference some days, but only because River deserves better. I want to give them the life they deserve, and it's just annoying how long it seems like it's going to take.
**Pirate!Seb, what was your first impression of River - before and after speaking to them for the first time - and how does that compare to how you see them now?**
S: That they were an asshole.
Fine. That wasn’t my immediate thought. When I first saw them...I don't know. It was confusing. They're a confusing person under any circumstances. I happened to be looking around the room when they walked into the tavern. I...I didn't know what to make of them. They were...attractive, but not how I was used to being attracted to people if that makes sense. I had only just accepted that I was attracted to men and not women, so meeting someone so good looking yet...difficult to pin down left me more than a little confused.
When they came over and started running their mouth, I decided they were an asshole. Which, to be fair to them, they probably had a reason to. I had been staring for longer than anyone ought to and...I've been told I have a shitty case of resting bitch face, so they might have gotten the wrong idea about me watching them.
Now...I think the biggest difference is that we actually have spoken and gotten to know each other. We spent years trading insults and the like, but until that night in Havana--no, probably not until Alicante did we actually speak to each other without looking to piss each other off. They still piss me off from time to time, but...what I used to think was annoying is also what makes me attracted to them as odd as that sounds. And they have so many more traits that make them...special. They're a special person.
I don't know. None of it makes sense, but so long as they're fine with that, then I suppose I am as well.
**Seb in a timeline where the twins are older and out. Be honest, is there any bias with how you've handled explaining sexuality to the twins vs. how you handled Kaisa?**
S: Yeah, I don’t think we treated them too differently. They got a talk about things after they came to us about who they liked whereas we kind of just handled stuff with Kaisa as it came up. It doesn’t mean we cared any less.
Have we been as strict with the twins? Probably not, but that’s what happens with your younger kids. It’s always the first one who has the strictest rules. Not to mention, I don’t have to worry about the twins giving me unplanned grandkids. \*sighs\*
**Seb (of the married variety), how has it been for you in learning how to deal with River's dysphoria and the different ways that affects both of you in your daily life?**
S: It was a learning curve for both of us. It's natural to want to avoid heavy topics like mental health when your relationship is new, but we both learned pretty early on that we had to have those hard conversations if we wanted to make anything work. Communication is key.
Communicating when those shitty days come up was one of our earlier challenges. River tends to get overwhelmed when the bad bouts happen without any warning. I always tell them to come find me or call me whenever they feel it coming on, but they don't always have control of that. It's hard waking up and having to hunt down them down by sound alone. I always end up wondering how long they sat there alone like that waiting for someone to come help. But those aren't thoughts I share. They have enough to worry about on those days.
Once I learned more about how River and how they feel on those days, I figured out a few strategies that seem to help them get through the worst of it. Getting them into something comfortable for the day away from reflective surfaces is priority number one. Once they've settled in, I get them to pick a movie or TV show that won't be too triggering and find something sweet for them in the cupboard or order in. It depends on how bad they're feeling. Then we chill for the day. I sit with them, keep up with what they need, hold them when they want it which is most of the time, and combat those negative thoughts that come out.
One of the more important things that I've learned is to be calm and levelhead when helping them. Pandering to them or freaking out only makes them feel guilty and retreat. I treat it like a normal day as much as I can and I won't pull punches if I can see them giving into their negative thoughts too much. I never yell, but reminding them not to be a dramatic bitch can do wonders when they're heading for another spiral.
The worst are the days I can't be there. If I have something at work I can't get out of, I usually wait until Chris or someone can come to be with them while I'm out. But once or twice they've had a bad episode while they were traveling and those I can count among the most stressful experiences in my life. Talking them down over the phone and trying to get them to do what I do for them isn't easy. I usually threaten to jump on a plane to wherever they are and, honestly, I keep the site up and open to get on the very next flight if I need to until I know for sure they're heading for a better place. Then I stay on the call with them for as long as they'll let me. I can still remember that first time when I stay up all night watching them sleep and getting yelled at the next morning. It was good though. If they had the energy to yell at me, I knew they were on the road to recovery.
**Childhood!AU five year old Seb: What are your best friends all like? Why do you like them all so much?**
S (in Finnish because his English is almost nonexistent): My cousin, Sanna, and my new friend, River, are my bestest friends in the whole world. Sanna is really funny and we went on lots of adventures together before I moved away. She would come over all the time and we would play with blocks and stuffed animals and puzzles and sometimes her dolls, but dad didn't like me playing with them, and games and sometimes outside when mum had time to watch us before my little brother was born. I miss her all the time. I wish we hadn't moved away. Now we only get to talk sometimes when mum lets me have the phone when she calls Uncle Samuli, but she does that all by herself a lot.
But River is funny too. He was quiet when he first met, but the more we play, the more fun it is. He lives next door so he comes over all the time after school and we play all kinds of games. Neither of us have a lot of toys yet since we both moved, so we like going outside and to the park where we have to space to make up our own games. River likes to pretend to cook like his mum and I decorate his cakes with painting like mum does. We didn't talk much at first because we don't know English or each other's languages but we've been teaching each other the important words and now I almost understand when they say whole sentences to me! I think they already know how to understand me. They're so smart it makes me feel dumb sometimes. But if I say that or look sad they always try to make me happy again. It's nice having a friend like them around to make this new country feel less scary. I almost think I might like starting school with them next year...

**Seb, tell us all the awesome things about your cousin that you wish other people knew more about.**
S: \*smiles\* If I tried to tell you everything, I'd spend about three years talking non-stop, and if you hadn't noticed, River gets pissy if you ignore them for more than an hour.
But I can hit the highlights. Sanna is a giver. She has been since we were kids whether that meant giving you her juicebox, her pencil, or her time. It wasn't at all that surprising when she told me she wanted to go to school to be a counselor. Helping people comes naturally to her. I don't know where that patience comes from. Fuck knows I can barely stand myself some days, but Sanna always manages to sit on the phone with my dumbass for hours and never complains about it. She knows how to knock some sense back into you without making it feel like an attack or that she patronizing you.
But she could just as easily kick your ass...in the intelectual sense. I've seen a few sorry bastards try to pull shit around her and I've never had to lift a finger to help her. She can talk circles around their misogynist bullshit, expose insecurities they never knew existed, and leave them shaking as she struts off. If she ever invites you in on one of her schemes, I recommend going along for one of the wildest rides that you've ever experienced. We always have fun whenever she's in town or when I go to visit her no matter where we wander off to. And she has a wicked sense of humor. I can't count the number of times she's put me on the floor laughing with her.
Obviously, she's sweet and a romantic. She knows how to treat a woman like a princess. All she's ever wanted was that happily ever after with a beautiful woman she could cherish for the rest of her life. She deserves that and so much more. If anyone ever fucked with her, I'd make their life a living hell.
**Vampire!Seb, who have been some of your best sexual conquests through history?**
S: There were a few names in there. One or two writers who managed to immortalize their names. A few fellow painters in the various cities where I stayed. Let me think...I think Byron was in there. I never got that guy’s name or the man with us, but I do have a preserved draft of Don Juan that he left behind the next morning. That was a wild II.
I never kept a human lover for long. It was too risky for me to stay more than a decade or two. Questions came up when they started getting older and I stayed the same, so I left. It got easier when other creatures came into the light as an accepted part of society. Now there’s prejudice, but I don’t have to worry so much about.
Ironically I don’t have to worry now that it would be more accepted. The joys of dating a vampire.
**Childhood!AU Seb: How did your various coming outs go? To River, your family, Sanna, Inari/Chris?**

```
S: River probably knew before I did. They waited for me to say it myself and they were happy for me the day I managed to admit it, but they kept themself under control for once. I think they knew how hard it was to say anything, so rather than trying to throw a mini-Pride parade in their bedroom, they talked to me about how I wanted to proceed from there.

```

Sanna was the next person I told and that went really well since she confessed to being gay herself in that same conversation. It really helped knowing I wasn't the only one in our family, and that at least my sedät wouldn't hate me.
Inari showed up not long after I got to that point, so she got to know as soon as she showed that she was chill about it all. Chris found out in that same conversation. It was easier to tackle the two of them at once...with River's help. I know I was there for them when they decided to come out, but...vittu, they're so much better at the support thing than I am.
Coming out to my family...that was hard. I knew Isa would be pissed, but it had to happen eventually, if not from me than from their father who I knew had some suspicions. I didn't want to wait for that to happen so I picked a night, set it up so that I could meet with River after, and told everyone at dinner. As soon as I finished, I chickened out and ditched, but that only delayed the inevitable backlash. Isa waited for me to come home that night and we spend most of it yelling back and forth. I don't know why he didn't kick me out that night. Maybe he didn't care enough. My siblings were cool about it though. Taika found me after things quieted down and gave me a hug. Not perfect but is coming out ever perfect?
**Seb, what are your feelings on River’s casual use of the word gay for themself even though they identify as pan?**
S: I don’t care. Words are words.
I: Bullshit.
S: Fuck off. ...Fine. Gay doesn’t bother me because...I guess I don’t care about winning a word? Like I get that other people get picky about labels and shit, but I just use what I want. Some people get pissy about me using gay because of River being femme and non-binary. I don’t give a fuck. It’s a word that works. I don’t need a whole sentence worth of labels and shit to say that I’m attracted to the person I’m dating. I just say it.
And it helps that gay is a word I managed to take back. It’s comfortable. Unlike other words which don’t need saying.
**Trans!Seb, what are some of the best and worst parts of being pregnant? Assuming you're well versed in pregnancy in your third trimester now. Also would you ever want to do this again in future?**
S: Do you know how much shit happens during a pregnancy? If being sick and exhausted doesn't turn you off it, then you're also expected to gain a shit ton of weight and eat weird shit because the hormones are apparently telling you what nutrients you need, but what the fuck kind of nutrients are in cookie dough?! And I'm not a vain person, but I worked fucking hard on maintaining my physique and now I'm gonna need months to bulk back up again because you can't even exercise how you want to, let alone follow a diet.

* Sighs\* But those are the easy complaints. I...it's not news. Dysphoria can get bad some days which doesn't help my depression any. It's not that I don't want my child. It's just hard not hating my body some days when so many...feminine aspects of it are being brought out. And I can't do much about it outside of wearing baggy clothes that hardly hide anything. Binders don't work well when you're breasts keep getting bigger and are sore as fuck. Emotional moods swings don't make it any easier. I just try to avoid mirrors when I can...and apologize to everyone after the really bad days. Being a burden isn't something I like being.

But it's not all bad. I can have as much sex as I want now since the worst consequences of that has already happened, so no use holding back. And River has been great throughout this whole thing. They put up with so much more than they have to. Mood swings, cravings, dysphoria; they're there for all of it. I wish I could be less of a burden to them, but they would probably see though any ruse I tried within minutes. I could never do any of this without them. And there's something special about knowing there's a life growing in you. Yeah, some days I hate everything that's happening, but knowing that I'm going to be a dad once this is over and that I'll have a family...that makes it all worth it.
**Question for Seb: Favourite memory with each of the kids?**
S: God, there’s so many. Kaisa...it might sound borrowed, but the first moment I held her was amazing. River took her first and I got to see her then, but when they handed her over and she looked up at me for that first time... I don’t know if I’d ever felt such a quick connection. \*laughs\* Not even with River. It was...beyond words honestly.
I was happy when the twins were born too, but it wouldn’t be interesting to tell you the same thing for all three. So let me think.
I think I would have to say the first time Izzy showed me one of her drawings is another memory. It wasn’t anything special, one of our cats I think, but I always want to encourage the kids so I made sure to compliment her and when I did her eyes got so wide like she couldn’t believe it was happening. Then she grinned and went scampering off to make another one. I think that was the day she decided she wanted to make art. I know I’ve still got all those pictures saved, even the ones she tried to throw away.
Adrien has always been the one to follow River around like a puppy. I don't think either of us expected that given how femme they like to dress. I'm glad for their bond though after all the struggles River had with Kaisa. And Adrien has never had any issues with me, he just doesn't connect with me the way he connects with River.
But I remember this one trip that River took when the twins were like eight. Their plane got delayed due to weather so they were gone another extra day. It's not hard to tell that I don't get as much sleep or time to relax when they're gone for so long, so I was a little snappy when the kids got crazy after dinner. I felt bad after I put them to bed, but I figured I would make it up to them in the morning rather than wake them up. That was when the door opened up and Adrien came in asking if I was feeling bad because Papi was gone. For such a crazy kid, he's very sensitive to other people's feelings. He ended up sleeping with me that night and I did sleep a little better. These kids can be crazy, but I love each of them to death.

**Future Seb - what is your opinion on all River’s cats? And do you have a favourite out of them?**
S: You mean the zoo? \*rolls his eyes\* They don't bother me much anymore. Once we first got past three, I sat River down for a talk, but everyone can see how effective that talk was. The biggest fuss with them is when River is away for a weekend and I have to feed the horde. I've managed to convince River to start getting the newer ones they bring home adopted so that we don't end up overrun which helps keep the cat food budget manageable and our house less overrun.
Favourite? There is a Siamese mix River picked up not long after we moved in together. She's quiet, always has been, and she tends to sit on my lap when I work at home. It's...nice. We never had pets growing up, so living in a house full of them is a new experience.
**Hey, Seb? We know that Inari thinks the world of Leena (and Selene) but what about you? Favourite and least favourite parts of her?**
S: She’s a good kid even if she tries to hard to be like Inari some days. She’s got backbone and determination, not to mention optimism. It takes a special kind of person to face down the kind of life she has and come out the other side wanting for more. I admire her for it.
But she tries too hard to do things alone some days. If she doesn’t want your help, it’s twelve different fights to get her to accept it. And she’s got a big mouth, which might sound hypocritical coming from me, but that kid likes getting into it with people. She’ll probably grow out of it like I did. I just hopes it happens soon so I can stop worrying about it.
**Future!Seb: What differences have you noticed with raising Kaisa versus raising the twins?**
S: When they were younger, the only difference was there were two toddlers instead of one to make a mess. Unlike River, I never bothered covering up all the grey hairs I got from those days. \*sighs\*
Izzy probably provided us with the biggest difference. I mean going from raising abled children to having a deaf child was hard. We all had to learn new ways to communicate with her so that she could be apart of the family, and let me tell you, learning what was basically a fifth language after how many years of living was fucking hard. It was worth it though to see Izzy go from being so quiet to non-stop signing as all those words she had kept inside came pouring out. That girl has River's nose for trouble, but she's worth the trouble.
As the twins got older, I think we noticed more changes. Adrien was practically glued to River from the day he was born and, damn, in those early days it felt like he was their clone. Personality wise, not physically. It made it difficult to know what to do when he started withdrawing from all of us. I think we were both worried we had done something wrong until that day when he opened up to River. Hearing those same fears from him almost felt spooky. It was one of those moments when I had to wonder much of kids was nature and how much was nurture. Because we never raised them to be afraid and still...
As much as Kaisa like to butt heads with River as kid, I don't think we really had any issues with her until the topic of birth parents came up. That was...hard. I knew it was natural and something that she deserved to know, but...that feeling that your own child is rejecting you is hard. I know River struggled with it for a long time, so maybe it was selfish of me not to notice for so many years. It got better. She's still our baby. Maybe she has more than two parents now, but we know now that she cares for all of us. And that has to be enough.
**Seb, what are your opinions on Leena and Blaise being together? Any good thoughts?**
S: I was...hesitant about it at first. Blaise is a good person. A strong, hard working, capable man and handsome. If the circumstances were different, and we had met somewhere other than my ship, I might have offered him drink though I doubt he'd have taken it. He's only ever shown interest in women which is fairly common among the men of my crew. Unfortunately.
Beside the point, I worried more that the two would struggle due to their age difference and...I hadn't known Blaise long enough to be assured that he meant Leena no harm. It's too common for older men to take advantage of young women. For as mature as she acts, Leena's young and her body speaks louder than her brain some days.
I: \*snickers\* And the hypocritic award goes to...
S: \*ignores her\* But now that I've seen them together I can say that I'm happy with how they support each other. Leena keeps him at a healthy distance while they decide how serious they want their commitment to be, and Blaise shows her nothing but respect and affection. If he did otherwise, I would have already skinned him alive. What the future holds for them is something I can't say, but so long as they continue to help each other, I see no reason to interfere with it.
**Demon roommates!Seb: What's some of the best and worst parts about dating a literal prince of Hell? Not to mention your six other roommates?**
S: The concept of privacy doesn't exist, especially not when everyone is together in one house. Pissing alone is a luxury during those weeks. And for a bunch of immortal demons, they eat more than a whole horde of teenagers. I swear I go grocery shopping every other day. It's be impossible to maintain if they hadn't agreed to start supplementing our food budget. I don't know where the money comes from, but I don't ask those questions. And you've got to remind them every few days or so that human operate on different rules for functioning so I can't stay awake for days on end without feeling it. They used to worry about all that more when I was in a bad place, but now they treat me more like a functional human being than a pet project.
River specifically can be a little demanding some days. It's only annoying when they insist on interrupting my work because they want attention. Even then it's hard to stay mad at them. I can't stay mad at any of them.
The pluses are obvious. I have seven demons who can do so much shit that I never have to worry about getting into trouble again. And all of them are caring in their own way. Oriel is going to make me an underground millionaire through possibly criminal means. Alyssa forced me to get out and finally make an adult wardrobe so I looked less like an overgrown teenager. Jasso has fun knocking me out at random which, while annoying, does have me more well rested than I've ever been. Leena is a load of fun to take to a gym for sparing even if you have be careful about letting her get too close to the other boxers. Chris has actually talked me into not hating myself whenever I look in the mirror. Inari helps with the food and household management, keeping the whole lot under control so I don't have to worry about it.
And River...is incredible. Obviously they're amazing in bed; they're a fucking lust demon. If they wanted, they could keep me locked up in their bedroom high off aphrodisiacs until the end of time. But it's more than that. They're sweet and they were there for me before those night together got heated. Just sitting together having that contact with someone helped me so much, and they never stopped encouraging me. They saved my actual life. If they hadn't shown up when they did and jumped into action, I'd be dead.

You mean from my old life or in general? Screw it, I’ll just answer both.
There was no one in my old life I would ever want to return to. My aiti maybe, but no one who meant anything to me romantically. I left and I never looked back.
If you mean in general...I don’t know, there’s a lot of people in the world. I can’t think of too many pirates outside of my crew who would be worth the hassle. A lot of them are misogynistic dicks. There was that older smuggler I knew back home, like fifteen or so years older than me, which is older than I normally go for, but he seemed like the kind of guy who would treat me right. Funny too.
**Inari, what are your favourite things/quirks about each of your friends?**
I: Huh, well they all have their own thing that’s makes them a little goofy. Seb tends to be an idiot when it comes to his own health, but he’ll move mountains to take care of other people. And then there’s River who’s surprisingly oblivious for someone who’s so in love with people and socializing. Honestly, it’s hilarious to watch them put puzzle pieces together. Thank god they both come off as endearing.
I love Leena to death and she has this tendency to posture when someone’s getting up in her face. It’s so cute and honestly shows that she’s been around men her while life. Then there’s Alexa with that unwavering confidence despite her being the size of a pea. Watching that girl in action is awe inspiring. Which makes her the perfect compliment to Laurent. I’ll never get over how he fidgets with food on his plate to arrange it into a more pleasing shape. Even when he’s not the cook, his brain his stuck in his kitchen.
Oriel is someone you always find in a corner and he’ll be able to dish up gossip despite not caring about any of it. Jasso, while he’s an idiot, will go at any fool who tries to disrespect a woman in front of him. There are still times when he has to remember to respect women, but it’s good to know that he tries. Alyssa’s ability to put up with Jasso and his idiocy is a complete mystery to me, but I appreciate her for it.
S: You skipped Chris.
I: What?
S: Talk about Chris or you’ll get complaints.
I: Fine. \*eye roll\* He’s a dork who uses bad pick up lines and awkwardness to get out of everything. I’d tell him it’s cute, but too much ego boast is dangerous for that boy.
**Inari - what's the biggest impact your friendship with Seb has had on you?**
I: My ability to tolerate bullshit. Nah, just kidding. I learned a lot about giving. Yeah, Seb likes to come off as a hard ass, but he’s always going to stuff for his family or dropping everything last minute to come help me or one of the guys. He pushes himself hard, too hard sometimes as with everything he does, but it makes a big difference. Since getting to know him, I’ve tried to be a little more generous as well. I still struggle some days with super last minute plans, but I like to think I’ve learned a thing or two about helping people out.
**Inari? Is there any kinky stuff you’ve ever wanted to try? Or do you prefer to leave that sort of thing to others?**
I: Eh, kinky isn't really my style. Not like there's anything wrong with--I only shame if the kink is harmful to someone--I just know what I like and that happens to be more vanilla. I don't mind experimenting with some positions everything now and then, but that's the extent of my interest. If my partner wants to try something on the tamer side, I'm all ears, but it has to be tame. I'm not breaking out a whip anytime in the near future.
**Childhood Au!Inari, what’s it like seeing your best friends pine for each other, as well as you falling for your other best friend?**
I: Painful. I mean the watching part. Like have you ever sat through one of those will-they-won't-they plots on a TV show? It's like that, but twenty million times worse because you can tell the idiots to talk to each other and they'll still ignore you. I love both of them to death, but fuck, Seb spent years whining to me and constantly being wishy washy, while River was the most oblivious idiot in the world up until the last year of high school when they finally noticed that there might be something there. Even then it took a summer apart and a few miracles (semi-proved by myself and Shep) to finally get a confession out of those two! Like damn how hard is it to say you like each other?!
Me and Chris had our ups and downs, but we figured it out. The off and on thing worked for us figuring our lives out without hurting each other, you know? We stayed friends even when we needed a break from the dating and in the end we came back together. I don't think I would have handled our relationship any other way. We're solid now and nothing's going to break us apart.
**Future!Inari - has Aleski ever found any of your sex toys? And if so, whose fault was it?**
I: Never any of mine, someone \*glares at Chris\* left their vibrater wand out so he had the pleasure of dealing with that. I try to take the sex talk so Chris doesn’t have to feel weird but that was too much.
**Inari, any tricks you've picked up in raising Aleski? Any specific things that work for handling him?**
I: Handling Aleski day to day is much easier than asking him to get his school work done. When it comes to chores and social behavior, I always had the option to be more flexible when teaching him and that's really want it took. Responding to his struggles with kindness, always showering him with praise when he gets something right, and encouraging him to get a heaping helping of exercise. Since sports and basically all physically activities are his favourite thing, we got to kill two birds with one stone by rewarding him with time outside or new equipment which in turn meant he used more of his energy up while he was having fun. Letting Leski move and think out loud does so much good for him.
Not knowing when to stop talking is probably his biggest challenge, but I don't hold any of it against him. When he accidently talks over someone or when he starts to get off track, you really only need to give him a gentle reminder and just accept that he communicates in a passionate way. As long as the reminders are done in a respect way, there's no trouble. I also made sure that he knew he's entitled to say something back if someone tries to use that against him. Actually, we got him a little notebook for moments when it's not polite to speak, but he has thoughts that he really wants to share. Instead of interrupting, we encouraged him to write them down in the book and now you'll see him scribbling in it all day long. He's on his...god, it has to be his fifty-somethingth volume by now. Both Chris and I have sat through what could be college lectures on different topics when Aleski wanted to talk after going to an event or something like it.
Oh, and if you do need to have a serious talk with him, try to go for a walk or a run with him while having it. He takes criticism hard and if you don't deliver it in a delicate way, you can easily upset him. Chris and I have been called into his schools more than once and found him in tears after teachers or the principle did that. It's not that he should never be criticized, only that people need to work with him on solutions actively, not passively. He's such a sweetheart, there's really no situation that he needs to be forcibly removed from. It's best to give him suggestions in the moment and then reminders if he continues doing the bad thing.
**Future!Inari, what were some of your memories of being pregnant with the twins? Any plus points? Any major downsides? Did you ever, even for a second, regret your decision?**
I: I don't know. I'm pretty neutral when it comes to pregnancy. I don't love it, but I don't hate it. You roll with your symptoms and do what you can to get comfortable, so I guess no regrets there. That doesn't mean I want to do it again, but I don't sit around crying about the pains of labor or the stretchmarks. It happened and now there are two new people in the world. Pretty good trade off in my opinion.
Plus sides? I suppose I just highlighted one. End result is a pretty big plus. I had three people bending over backwards to make me comfortable the whole time, which was pretty sweet. Aleski actually did pretty good when we explained that the babies I was carrying where going to be his cousins instead of siblings. We always spent time over at River and Seb's place, so I don't think he minded that the babies wouldn't be living with us. Honestly, getting to send them off to those two after they were born and skipping those sleepless nights was great too. All I had to do was pump milk for a few weeks so they both had plenty to drink. I occasionally breastfeed them when I was over, but mostly I just gave River and and Seb the milk.
Downside was pretty how fucking huge I got. If I thought Aleski was a lot to handle at the end, I never anticipated how much it would be to carry two of him at once. Everything was a chore and it took Chris helping me with basically everything before the twins came. There were also some maternal instincts that made the first week or two post-birth difficult. I knew it would happen. It's not like either baby was leaving my life forever, but you feel a tug after you carry them for months. You want to keep them close, but I knew they needed to go with their parents. I was Auntie and I never intended to be more than that. I went over a lot during those first few months, but I never stayed over. That was my personal line and it helped me to feel comfortable being there with them as that different role. Since then, Chris and I have baby-sat them loads along with Kaisa, and it's always been fine. I'm with our relationship and to see how much it makes my friends happy to be parents of three. Honestly, knowing those kids as they are now, I'm happy to be able to send that drama home to their parents. It would be a trip and half to live with them 24/7.

**Wind!Inari, what’s your opinion on Chris’ submissive streak? Is that something you’ve ever sought in a partner? Or does this work better for you?**
I: I never had thought to find a guy like Chris before. Like I knew there were guys who liked to be topped in the bedroom, but the bigger issue was finding someone who wouldn't try to overcompensate in day to day life because I have no patience for man babies who need their egos catered to.
Honestly, I'm still figuring out how to handle him, but I'm liking it so far. Calling the shots seemed kind of intimidating at first, but now that I know that works for Chris, it's a lot easier to do and I like the freedom it gives me. The hardest part of all of this is probably getting Chris to express himself and his preferences, but I know that's more lack of experience than anything. It's a lot of responsibility handling someone learning about their own sexuality. I'll be happy when I can get him to take a little initiative to do more exploring on his own. None of that's on Chris though, I'm just bad at being patient for extended periods of time. \*laughs\*
To answer the original question, it's hot. We both just need some time to adjust. Once we're both practiced and knowledgeable, I think we'll be very happy. It'll be nice to just do stuff without having to go into an in depth explanation every time we decide to get freaky.
**Hey, childhood!Inari? Since we heard about your worst dates, what about some good ones with Chris?**
I: Ah, I don’t get to complain about Chris being an idiot?
S: Play nice and you get a cookie.
I: Don’t make me throw you.
Fine. I can be nice. Chris occasionally gets stuff right. \*thinks\* If I had to pick some highlights, one that comes to mind is our...second time getting back together. Or was it third? Anyway, Chris was being his usual over the top self, probably overcompensating for our recent getting back together. He made himself broke in a single night getting me flowers and dinner and a movie. No matter how many times I told him it wasn’t necessary, he kept going. It was sweet but I knew that boy couldn’t keep that up. I think when he suggested like the third food run of the night, I pulled him into a bench and told him how I got back together with him because I loved him, not to make his bank account bleed. And that might have been the first l-bomb either of us used. God, I’ll never forget that wide eyed confusion as he tried to process what I had said. It was adorable and it got even worse when he finally caught up with me. That smile...I’ll never forget it. \*grins\* He’s a dork, but a cute one.
S: Come on. You know you’ve got more than that.
I: One more. The final time Chris won me back It wasn’t even a proper break—I was just pissed at him for getting all stupid around a freshman because she gave him a rose. It was stupid in hindsight but it felt like a big deal then. I got back to my locker like two days after and I saw one of Chris’s pictures tapped to it. And my backpack missing. Oh, I was pissed at first. I shouted around the halls for a bit before realising the picture was a clue. I followed it to the place where he first asked me out and found another picture. That one took me to our first date at a little cafe across town. There a woman handed me another for our first kiss by a fountain in the park. It went on like that through the good and the bad until I got to his house. There he stood waiting with flowers and candy, saying how he might’ve reacted to the freshman, but he hadn’t built anything with her. Going through all of it like that made me realize how true that was. It showed me how much we had built together. And maybe it made me never want to let this idiot go ever again.
S: Look at you being all openly sappy.
I: Screw off. You can’t look at River without that dopey grin on your face.
**Modern!Inari, what’s it like to be constantly walking in on the idiots getting their freak on? Amusing or annoying?**
I: I mean sex doesn't bother me. I don't like jumping into bed with other people because that's out of my personal comfort zone, but if other people want to bump uglies every hour of the day that's their choice. Do I like that happening in the living room when I want to watch a movie? Not always. That's why I'd say 50% of my cockblocking is to shoo those two off the good furniture, while the other 50% is just to fuck with them because it's fun.
So both. But I handle it better than Chris, so I suppose better at our apartment than theirs. God knows I don't get nearly as bitchy if I happen to walk in on them.
**Inari, have you ever done anything as a parent that you regret? And would you go back in time and change it if you could?**
I: Yeah. Who hasn't fucked up at least once at anything in life? Early on with Aleski when he first started acting out because of his ADHD, I had to take Aleski with me to work one day when he was off from school and Chris had to work. It was already a tough morning before we got there, but Aleski just wouldn't stop running and screaming. I should have known better and just taken the day off to avoid the issue entirely. I was so sure I could get Aleski to sit still while I worked, but I ended up snapping at him and calling Alexa to ask if he could stay with them while I was at work. He was crying when they left and he ran away from me when we got him home later that night. I don't think I ever felt like as much of a failure as I did that night.
It took a few weeks after that before Aleski and I really made up for me pushing him away that day, and I always wondered if we would've done better if I had just stayed home with him. I can't say if he harbors any resentment, though he hides it well if he does. That moment taught me to work harder at understanding Aleski rather than try to wish he was someone he isn't. I shouldn't have had to learn that at his expense, but I've done what I can since then to make sure I never repeat that mistake.
**Modern Inari - do you prefer it when River stays over with Seb at your place, or when Seb stays with them? Is there any benefits to when they’re over at your place?**
I: Eh...I mean River and Seb both try to bribe me all the time. The amount of snacks I'm getting is easily worth getting out of the apartment more often. And it's an excuse to go visit my friends. Not that I need an excuse. I shouldn't at least, but some days I think Seb's work obsession has rubbed off on me. So I guess it's nice when they're over at our place because benefits. That and I don't care as much as Chris does about the occasional glimpse of hanky panky. It's not something I seek out, but it doesn't bother me.
If they get loud when I'm trying to sleep though? Then one of them is going to die.
**Teenage!Inari, did you ever have a crush on either of your other friends or was it always Chris you liked?**
I: Not really. River is hot and all, but they’re more like that bestie I can go do stuff like shopping and movie nights with. My femme friend. It might be different if I was into girls, but as is I like being their friend more than their fuck buddy. I’d hate to ruin that with messy feelings. Not to mention River needs someone who likes cuddling as much as they do. We already have our days when we get on each other’s nerves. If we threw dating in the mix, we’d kill each other.

Please. If I wasn't here, who would stop Riv from running their mouth off and getting stabbed? They're a danger unto themself, and I consider it my personal responsibility to keep them in mostly one piece and breathing.
Other than River though.....I haven't met a girl I'd like to settle down and have a family with. I suppose if I ever met someone in a port that I could see a future with, I'd stay then, but until then I'm happy enough with travelling on the ship.
**Chris, what do you think is the biggest impact your friendship with River has had on you?**
C: My empathy, definitely. Like, I wouldn't be a soulless sociopath without them, but they make it easier to like, see where people are coming from, and to see the best in the world and everyone in it. Have you ever had a conversation with them? River's literally a ball of sunshine, and it's hard not to be as optimistic around them.
**Chris from any canon other than our college AU. If you had to pick, which of the guys or non-cis people in your friend group would you be willing to experiment with?**
C: Oh, that's a hard one. Like, I know I could potentially fall for a guy-
R: Or nonbinary person.
C: OR a non-binary person, thank you River, in future, but right now I don't even know what I might fall for in a guy. I guess, maybe Sebastian? He's arty like me, and we get along well enough, so I'd like to think he'd make a pretty good boyfriend. \*catches look from River\* I mean, if he wasn't totally besotted with my best friend, of course.
**Modern!Chris, why are you so extra when you try to woo women?**
C: I’m not extra-
L: Yeah, you are, Rosa.
C: Hey! Look, I just try to impress girls because otherwise why are they going to look at me? All my friends are super hot, and funny, and awesome, so I need a quirky thing to get me noticed. Besides, don’t women like a guy who puts effort into something?
**Chris, what's one of your favourite memories with Aleski?**
C: God, I have so many amazing memories with him.... But if I can only choose one, we're going to go with the time Aleski tagged along with River and I for a trip to London. This was just after he had went back to school again - after the home-school year we did - so I figured it'd be a cool way to spend his Halloween break and to reward him for doing so well in school.
Anyway, while River was busy with the girls, Leks and I did a whole tour of the city together, and it was the most fun I've ever had abroad, just because I was with him and spending that time together. We did all the tourist things, and even went to some gay spaces that Riv had recommended. Like, this was before Aleski had actually come out - a good few years before - but it was adorable as fuck to see how excited he got about seeing this gay bookshop that he proclaimed was just like tío River's cafe. \*laughs\* I've got a whole album of photos from that trip, and every few months I'll do through them and just remember the good times.

**Poly!Chris, how would you describe the physical side of your relationship with your different pack mates? Do you go to different ones for different things?**
C: Oh gosh, that's a lot of different things. I have a slightly different dynamic with all my mates, so it's hard to categorise anything. Like, with Sebastian...we cuddle a lot, especially when we're both awake late at night, but he's also real good in bed. That said, we don't fuck? When we sleep together, it's a lot more emotional and heartfelt, and slower than what I might do with Inari or River. The best days are when we can spend the whole afternoon naked in bed together and watch old movies and fool around.
River's a slutty switch though, and they're also a dramatic bitch, so they'll act out these scenes with me, and it's fun. Maybe they're an assassin who decides to seduce me instead of kill me, or maybe I'm their boss and they're a sexy secretary and I get to tell them what to wear. \*laughs\* It's fun, and quirky, and they're hella sexy, so it's all good. I love going down on them, or like, fucking them, but....River's a tad bigger than I'm entirely comfortable with, so I don't actually bottom for them. \*blushing\* Anything else is cool, but not that. Besides, why do I need anyone else to top me when I have another sexy as fuck alpha?

J: \*shrugs\* Depends on what kind of night you're talking about. A night out will be us getting ready around nine and meeting up with the others for an hour or so. If we want to share, we'll make a plan, otherwise it's just the courtesy of getting out individual hookups back to the apartment spaced apart enough to keep from running into each other.
Non-going out night varies. Alyssa works most of them and I occasionally stream late. If she had a shitty client, she might ask me to help her get the bad taste out of her mouth. Or we might just make effort to order food for each other. Or we might not speak at all. We're roommates, not a couple, so we don't always stick our noses in each other's business anymore than I would stick my nose in Oriel's business.
**Jasso - with full honesty, what do you think of all the women in your crew and Perez' crew?**
Jasso: \*looks to the left\* \*looks to the right\* Well...as long as we’re alone. Pollari is a pain, but a competent one who will forever be the fruit just out of my reach. And such supple, supple fruit it is. Alexa is adorable and unfortunately too preoccupied with the nervous Frenchman to be coerced into a night of entertainment. She would be so cute in bed, all blushes and giggles, I know it. Alyssa is gorgeous and she knows it and one of the few amiable women in the crew. I can only hope she stays with us for a long time to come.
As for the others, Ellen is a darling and more than Wilford deserves. Margaretta seems nice enough. And Leena is an annoying brat at the best of times, but I would willing challenge a naval armada to keep her safe. Just don’t tell her I said so.
**Jass, what are some things you like about Alyssa? Or even some things you enjoy doing together other than the obvious?**
J: So you don’t want me to talk about her fantastic tits or that ass sculpted by the gods? Fine. She has a good understanding of boundaries which I know most people don’t expect to hear is a big deal to me, but it is. Women trying to change me is tiresome. I don’t want fixing and I have never led anyone to believe otherwise. Alyssa will have me whenever and never complains about a relationship or having a claim when I chose to be with other partners. Not many people are like that and that understanding or trust, whatever you call it, is what makes our thing work.
**Jasso of the future, what are some of your favourite memories with Alyssa?**
J: We've had a fun ride. Nights where we roamed the bars until 4AM only to go home together and crash on the couch. Spending the holidays with our friends as the cool aunt and uncle. The occasional late night gaming session when I was streaming for charity and she came by to give me a little endurance test...if you know what I mean. That women can tie cherry stems with her tongue.
A lot of my favorite moments are quieter than other people think. I love our threeways and other crazy sex experiments, but it's also nice just being together in the quiet moments when we're just having fun together. It doesn't always have to be about sex with us.
Though sex does improve most situations...
**Future!Jasso, what was your wedding like? Did you ever think you’d be officially tying the knot with someone?**
J: Not in this or the next lifetime. It happened without either of us thinking about. We had been together for so long, and Alyssa has romantic streak she always denies having, so I figured we might as well.
The wedding was a quiet day. Neither of us needed all that fuss or attention. We just wanted to celebrate what we had with our friends. Keeping madre under control was probably the hardest part.
**Modern!Jasso; have you ever experimented with men or people who aren't women? If not, would you ever try something like that?**
J: Umm...I don't think so. I don't ask the women I sleep with for a background check or anything, but I've never done anything with anyone who had a dick.
I: \*snickers\* You asking for a background check.
J: I was...the big word thing when you're using an extreme example! Shut up! Anyway, I've never felt the urge to. Like I've never done the "No Homo" routine before, but--
S: \*coughs\* Lies. \*coughs\*
J: That was one time and only because we were both hella uncomfortable! Would you two fuck off?! I guess I wouldn't be totally opposed to it depending on what the other person wanted. Like me giving the anal is fine. Receiving...less fine. I'm not into being in pain whenever I sit down for two days just for some sex. Also not sure I'd want to suck a dick. It's just not as appealing. Can't say I've ever been attracted to a guy though. That would be the biggest hurdle to get over.
I: And if it were a woman with a dick?
J: ...I could make that work.
**Jasso, how do you feel when people refer to Alyssa as your girlfriend? Is it the label you object to, or the fact that people think she's your girlfriend out of all other women in the world?**
J: I...\*frowns\* That wording makes me strongly suspect you're trying to get me trouble. I don't need any help don't need any help sticking my foot in my mouth, thank you very much.
It has nothing to do with Alyssa personally. I don't do labels or attachments with the possible exception of friends with benefits. Girlfriend has too many implications behind it about feelings and can make talking to new people about four times more complicated than they need to be. I just don't use it. I tell people we're friends or roommates, we fuck when we want, and she might be interested in joining if the woman is interested in a threeway. I don't want more than sex or the sex to be confined to one person, ergo I don't use girlfriend or partner or any of those labels.
I: Did you just use the word 'ergo'?

A: I don't get jealous. I know that sounds weird, but I really don't. At the most, I get irritated sometimes but that's more because I just like being the centre of attention. It's usually fairly easy to get Jasso's attention in bed though, so it's fine. Besides, if I got jealous about the girls he sleeps with, it'd make me a hypocrite since I don't want him being all weird and jealous about the people I bang.
I guess I'm a little judgey about some of the girls he brings back though. He could absolutely do so much better than some of them. \*scoffs\* Immature college girls aren't really worth mine or his time, in my opinion.
**Alyssa, do you ever miss anything about home?**
A: Absolutely not. Well.... \*hesitates\* Maybe my sisters? Felicité was just a kid when I left, and Ella was already engaged at that point. I haven't seen them since I left, and mostly I don't think about that part of my life, but sometimes I wonder what they're up to, or how they are.
**Alyssa, in light of certain discussions, tell me how you typically handle angry/frustrated friends and/or significant others of the people you sleep with. I don't mean to imply you encourage others to cheat, but I would assume you've been led astray once or twice before. Or are the situations that happen with River your first experiences in that area?**

L: Bold of you to assume I want to marry Blaise.
B: Hey!
L: I'm joking! Love you. Anyway, back to the question. Who else would I consider being with? Hmm...well, I suppose.... \*looks around to check that nobody else is around\* The captain's pretty okay, I guess. If I had just met him normally, I probably would have had a crush on him. Like, I know he's not into women, but he's pretty good-looking-
R: Aww, how cute!
L: Fuck off, Perez.
**Leena, what's it like dealing with your daughter crushing on your best frenemy?**
L: Ugh, don't even. I suppose taste in men isn't hereditary, so I can't expect my daughter to have my impeccable taste-
R: Didn't you have a little crush on my husband back in the day?
L: He fucking told you about that? Fucking hell, I'm going to kill him. \*stalks out while River cackles behind her\*
**Leena, we haven't seen you in a while. What an interest you have that people might not guess when they first meet you?**
L: Well, a lot of people wouldn't automatically think I'm a mama whenever they first see me. I don't look like the typical teen mom you see in tv shows and everyone's shocked when they find out I have a kid at seventeen. Doesn't matter what other people think though. I'm a fucking awesome mother, and anyone who disagrees can suck my metaphorical dick.
C: Leena!

L: I am so proud of both of them. Oui, they are very different people, but both of them are so very sweet and talented. Such good children. Raphael makes wonderful clothing, and Xiomena is already taking after her mother learning how to take care of people. My most precious memories of them are whenever they would come and spend the day with me in the kitchen around the holidays. They loved to help me make cookies and cakes. Even now we still spend the holidays together whenever we can. I could never have asked for better children.
**Laurent, we never really hear from you - do you have any specific recipes that you make for particular members of the family? Like one dish that you only ever make for Alexa for instance? Or something for the kids?**
L: The children have always loved butter cookies. They are very simple so I do not make them for other very often, but I try to keep some in the house whenever I can. Whenever they have a hard day, I will give them these and a cup of chocolat chaud. It always makes them smile again and then we can talk about their days together.
Alexa loves all chocolate desserts, but there is one I made for her first when she was pregnant with Raphael that I can only make for her. She always eats it before I can serve it to anyone else. \*laughs\* It is a chocolate panna cotta with a spiced pepita brittle. I still make it for her for her birthdays and our anniversary and other important holidays. Or when she is feeling sad and needs something to make her days brighter.

A: He makes all sorts of wonderful foods, it’s so hard to choose. Well, perhaps my favourite might be the miguelitos he makes me when I’m not feeling well or I’m too tired - they’re so creamy and chocolatey and delicious - or perhaps his hot chocolate that he whips up from scratch. It’s so good it could probably be used to cure cancer! Anything he makes is so good because he puts all his heart and soul into it and that’s all that matters.
**Alexa, who would you label as your closest friend/friends among the main group?**
A: Ooh, that's really hard. \*brow furrows in thought\*. I get along so well with everyone, and we all have different things in common. I never had a sister, so Inari is really cool to talk to about female things, even if those things are sometimes really hard to talk about. River's super sweet, and I always feel like I can be comfortable around them, but then again, so's Sebastian. He likes to pretend he's all hard and badass, but we've had some really neat conversations in the past.
But I guess my best friend would have to be...Laurent. I know we're dating and everything, but right from the beginning, we've just clicked, and it's always so amazing when we get to be together. He knows my deepest, darkest secrets, and he's confided in me in turn, and we just trust each other more than anyone else in our lives.
**Alexa, have you always wanted to be a doctor?**
A: Well, not exactly. When I was little, I wanted to be a singer, more than anything else. I sang in the church choir every Sunday, and it was wonderful. The attention was a little overwhelming at times, but I still loved it.

And I doubt Seb would appreciate me saying this, but I did send him some fan fiction of this weird anime he was into as a teen - fanfics he requested, might I add - and he seemed to like them. Not that he ever mentioned them aloud. Kind of hilarious though that he ended up with someone who wrote fanfiction themself. Oh yeah, those stories were really terrible, from what River let me read.
**Sanna, have you ever had to protect your cousin from anything?**
S: Oh, my cousin's always in need of protection. Mostly from himself though. I'm there to talk sense into him whenever he goes all airhead and spirals into his own mind. \*giggles\* But him being a macho idiot helps sometimes when I need it. We look after each other.
Like, when we were both living in Taivalkoski - before he moved away and before either of us came out - we went to the same school, and it was nice. Except, Seb was that sort of kid that accidentally attracted the wrong sort of attention, and liked to solve those with his fists. That's all well and good until someone else decides to use theirs. One asshole tried to punch back, and I hit him first. \*smirks\* And because he's a good Christian boy, he can't hit a girl.

River: Light roast, no sugar, no milk, blacker than a lump of coal. Give me a challenge next time.
Alexa: Oh, oh, I know this...… \*face scrunched up in concentration\* He prefers to drink tea, with a little milk, and a spoonful of sugar, even if he forgets about it until it goes cold. Every single time.
Alyssa: Fuck if I know. I don't think I've ever seen him drinking coffee outside of being hungover. \*shrugs\* I know Oriel goes for that weird brand of Irish coffee though.
Chris: Caramel mocha frappuccino. It's totally not weird that I know that.... shut up, River!
Seb: Which one? \*sighs\* If they’re not feeling fucking extra, a caramel frappuccino will make them happy, but the hot chocolate thing they get is like extra hot made with fancy cream or something with fucking vanilla and caramel with extra whipped cream and caramel drizzle and absolutely no lid or they get so pissy.
Inari: Oh, that boy is basic. Iced coffee with vanilla. Everyone knows his usual.
Laurent: Oh, Alexa likes her cafe sweet with milk and a few spoonfuls if sugar. Whenever I have the time, I like to make her a latte to take to work with her favorite biscuits so that she has a snack before her shift starts.
Jasso: I don’t know. Whenever she asks for coffee, I just grab one of those cold Starbucks drinks from the store in the glass bottles. The vanilla one? Vanilla is a girly flavor...oh fuck, Inari, that was a joke! Stop!
Oriel: What the dead man means is that Alyssa likes vanilla lattes and he’s too lazy to go into one of the actual stores to get her a hot one.
**Werewolf!Inari, River and Chris: How did you meet each other? And Inari, when did you realise your feelings for Chris ran deeper than you thought?**
I: \*shrugs\* We met back when I decided I wanted to move out on my own. I tried living on my own for a few months, but rent out in California is punishing. Since I didn't want to end up on the streets, I broke down and started looking for roommates. Thing is that things were pretty segregated in the supernatural community back then so I had few choices outside of other wolves. Wolves can be weird when it comes to pack bonding and living together, so I had a hella time finding someone who wasn't going to insist on making me a part of the "pack" just to live with them. It wasn't an exclusively male thing, even other women were always talking about how we could get something going. I just wanted a place to live without worrying about dating or packs or any of that shit. Ugh, just listening to all of it made me so happy that I didn't have to deal with that shit growing up.
I found River about two months into my search and we clicked right away. Not the touching thing--hell, I think I actually growled at them the first time they went in for an unasked for hug--but they got that I wanted a living place and not a lifelong commitment. The fact that they had a human sorcerer as their pre-established roommate made it easier to trust them, so I jumped as soon as we could work it out with their landlord. And, no, the irony is not lost on me that we basically became family anyway. The important thing is that it wasn't forced on me.
Chris and I got along once I laid the ground rules. He's a dork and a moron when it comes to his magic experimentation, but he grows on you after a while. I don't know, maybe it was the fourth time he nearly blew up the apartment that I found myself feeling more fondness than anger about the whole thing. I started to blur our boundaries after that until I finally got around to asking him out. Since I had been the one to make the rules, I knew I had to take the responsibility for evolving our relationship. Come to think of it, I think that was around the time that we met everyone in the mansion. It wasn't a big thing, but that's just the way it is when you're demi like me. One day you're friends and the next you realise that friendship means more to you than you ever thought it could. Thankfully Chris is a good enough guy to get why I needed the time. It's one of things about him that I really appreciate.
C: Well, River and I met because I was looking to make a little money doing photography after school, and they're a vain bitch who loves being photographed.
R: Hey!
C: You know you are, Riv, don't deny it. Anyway, I was coming up on my junior year of high school, and River was a bit older - like, I know werewolves have a different aging than humans or other supers like me, so River's actually a lot older even if they look the same age as me, but it's just easier to go with they're a little older - but we instantly clicked and we started hanging out proper. Once I left high school, we moved in together, and I started properly exploring my magic. I actually found this online course which has been a lot of help-
R: Is that why I keep having to replace my food stocks?
C: If it's in the kitchen, it's free game.
R: Not when it's my carambolas! \*shakes head\* Meeting Inari was a blessing, if only because I wasn't the only one dealing with this nutcase's magic messes. That said, she's an awesome roommate - keeps her stuff to herself, listens when there's a problem, and doesn't shed all over the place - and it's nice to share with another werewolf who isn't looking to mate right away. That got even better a little later when Leena came along with a cub in tow. Obviously it's better now we're all living in the house, with more room, but it was real nice before as well. I love kids, and when Leena isn't being a little brat, she can be cool.
C: Leena's just misunderstood. You try raising a baby all on your own and not get a little bit of a thicker skin.
R: I'm just thanking God you don't have any kids of your own. Mayhem would reign.
**Childhood!Seb and Inari, care to share some of your weird/worst first dates with guys?**
I: Sure. I can already think of like three off the top of my head. Like the guy I tried dating during my first break with Chris, Matt, who insisted on sneaking us into to see like Transformers or some shit. We got caught and he got banned from the theater, so he just went home crying about it.
S: Oh yeah, didn’t he transfer schools after?
I: He did indeed. Next cringest after him was Joey. That boy had no life outside of games—one of Jasso’s friends—but I gave him a shot because I was mad at Chris for going out one of the girls I was pissed at back then. Needless to say Joey thought romance was a night of dating sims and so I had to sit through like three different ones. Explicit dating sims. I left at like nine and I think even Jasso cut ties with him after that.
S: \*laughs\* And the number one?
I: Not so fast. First your runners up.
S: I haven’t dated that many people.
I: You whored it up good before River finally got their shit together. Now runners up.
S: \*sighs\* I’ll exclude the actual worst one because we’re trying to have fun. First one that comes to mind is Chase. He was on the track team and kind of bi-curious. Enough that he asked to hangout for basically an informal date. We watched some chick flick...apparently he thought I was into that because gay. \*rolls eyes\* We both just suffered through it and never really talked again after.
I: And did you give him that full bi-curious experience?
S: Yes, we slept together. Shut up.
I: Just keeping you honest.
S: After him I would probably say Rayshaun. He was a sweet guy, one of the few out gays at school, but we never clicked. It didn’t help that he suggested the gym for our first date which...generally you don’t get turned on at the gym. It got awkward after about twenty minutes so we left.
I: And...
S: And slept together! You want put the hammer down, judge?
I: There’s a distinct difference between the two of us that needs to be illustrated for the audience to claim full satisfaction. Anyway, my number one was Brad. Yes, I dated a Brad. To be fair, he was a sweet one—the manager of the football team. Our first date was at one of those football games which seemed cheesy but cute. It was going fine until some fifteen year old showed up and started crying about me stealing her boyfriend, and then Brad actually responded saying that he was moving on to someone who could make him happy. Now I don’t mean to judge, but that boy was a senior and it was clear they had been dating for much longer than a year. If that weren’t enough to freak me out, Brad starts going on about how I’m the package deal of looks and virtue which is about the point where I punched him and walked off. I never spoke to Brad again and I hope that poor kid avoided him after too. That dude was fucked up.
S: I forgot about him. I think that was your final break before you and Chris got back together for good.
I: Yeah, I swore off other guys after that. Chris can be annoying at times, but he’s got a good heart.
S: Well, this isn’t the worst person I’ve dated, but it was the worst...and kind of best...first date. It was during one of River’s more serious relationships. I was pissed and depressed and I had no one to talk to.
I: Hi, I’m no one.
S: You and Chris were busy being happy, so no, you don’t count. It was actually Jacob from the art club who noticed. He was one of the closeted students on campus. He saw I was having a shitty week and invited me to his place for the weekend. I figured why the hell not and went for it.
I don’t remember that weekend. We got to his house, he took out some shots and it goes black like ten minutes after that. Wait—that sounds bad. It was intentional. He asked me if I wanted to get real fucked up when I came over. I said yes ahead of time. We actually laid quite a few ground rules ahead of time. I didn’t realise at the time that I might lose that much of my memory of the weekend, but it happened. I woke up Sunday afternoon on his couch sore in more places than I had words for with the worst hangover and so many goddamn texts.
I: That’s because you went MIA without a word for a whole freaking weekend!
S: Yeah, I felt a little guilty about that one after. It was nice to actually left go for a few days, but the recovery period was hell. Turns out both of Jacob’s parents were hippies and are totally chill with him getting into whatever mild substances he wants. He’s really good at mixing cocktails from those now. He always kept the door open after that weekend but I never had the courage to go for round two. I think my brain would‘ve melted.
I: And this is why I don’t trust any of you chuckle heads alone for extended periods of time.
**Mikael and Seb, opinions from both of you - what was the sex like when you were together? What was the other person like in bed?**
M: It was fantastic. Do you honestly think I would waste an entire year with someone who was subpar in bed? I'm a busy man.
Honestly, his skill in bed was the only reason I was sad to cut him loose. Needy and clingy isn't ideal for how I prefer to operate. Getting him to shut up about meeting friends or family could take so long some days, but it was worth it. Not only will he deepthroat, but he'll let you control the pace. I know plenty of men and women unwilling to do more than lick. I used to have seeing how much I could get off without letting him. That frustration really brings out those pretty eyes of his. He's a fun person to fuck with.
And he's got a nice dick whatever you want to do with it. He's got the muscle to fuck you so good and hard, and he's so good at following directions. I fucked him once or twice to get him to stop pouting about it, but usually I rode that dick. If I wanted to be doing the fucking, I'd be with a woman. Men take too long to get ready and they're just not soft enough. Though I might as well have been with one for how long he always wanted to cuddle after. I'm willing to spend a few minutes on it to keep my partners from getting pissy, but we'd be half an hour out and he'd still get moody when I left.
If I could, I'd still be fucking him, but the best ones are always the pickiest.
--
S: It...was complicated. When we first got together, it was good. I'm happy with a one night stand as long as they're decent in bed, and Mikael is more than descent.
He likes to bottom, but he's not submissive. I figured that out the first night when he yelled at me for not going fast enough. It was always a challenge when we got into bed. I had to figure out how to make him happy, and if I was lucky, I could get off at some point. It was fun for me since I'm always up for a challenge. He's god awful at topping. He'll go in too early, which can be alright if you talk about it but he doesn't, and he almost never bothers to check if you're getting into it until after he's nutted. It wasn't impossible to get off with him, but it was on me to make sure I finished. I thought it was endearing back then, but honestly, he's as spoiled in bed like he is in his day to day life.
It got harder when we--I started feeling something for him. Just getting together and fucking wasn't enough. I told him and...he listened. For those first three months we went from just fucking to really forming a connection. I thought. Then he got impatient and always demanded sex and he'd only stick around for the action before taking off. I stopped thinking about it when the shit with my depression started to hit, but it never got better. And trust me, the second you can't give him the sex he wants, you'll never hear anything but how selfish you are. He doesn't like hearing 'no'.
I've had better. If not for...everything that happened alongside the sex, I might never have stayed with him as long as I did. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get a drink.
**Childhood!River and Chris, care to share some of your weird/worst first dates?**
R: Where do you want me to start? I have had a number of bad dates, and I will more than happily tell you every single detail.
C: Can I go first? I guarantee I've had worse stories-
R: True, you go first.
C: Bitch. Anyway, one of the worst dates I've ever had was the first time Inari and I got back together after a break. It was so awkward, and weird, and I said everything wrong, and then I elbowed her in the tit when I tried to kiss her goodnight. \*winces\* If it hadn't been for her reaching out the day after, we'd never have gone anywhere. Riv, you want to do one so I don't die of embarrassment?
R: \*snickers\* Fine. I was fifteen, and I was head over heels for this girl in my biology class. She was dorky, and sweet, and I had it bad for her. What I didn't know...was that she had a thing for voodoo and had dolls made of like half our class. Yikes. I got over that crush real quick, and got out of that house even quicker.
C: Wait, was that Agnes Walsh?
R: Oh yeah. It's like Jass says - don't stick your dick in crazy.
C: You're dating Seb now. \*smirks\*
R: Seb isn't crazy! He's just a little quirky. And creative. And amazing.... \*happy sigh\* I mean, not like when I dated Victor. God, that boy was dull as watching paint dry. Doesn't matter that he looked like a fucking runway model, or that his abs could literally grate cheese - that all means shit when you have a crap personality. He took me to the cemetery for our first date! That should have been a clue to run. Ugh, anyway what about another of yours?
C: Went on a date with one of Jasso's exes - if you can call them his exes at all - and halfway through, she gets up to go to the bathroom and I get a text that must have meant to be sent to her friend, about how shitty the date was and how weird I was. I was mortified, but I felt like I had to sit through the rest of the date anyway, just so I didn't embarrass her.
R: Oh, I would have so embarrassed her. I would have walked out and left that ungrateful bitch to pay for the meal herself.
C: That's mean! Anyway, my all time worst date would be the time I went out with Lucy Bell. I was pissed at Inari for something, and I knew she had fallen out with Inari as well, so I figured I'd go out with her. Nope. She just wanted to spend the entire dinner complaining about Inari - which I was supremely uncomfortable with and not taking any part in, for the record - and then she jumped on me in the taxi back to her house. It was all I could do to push her out the door when we got there, and get the fuck out of there.
R: Oh, baby! Well, at least we know you got your happy ending with your girl, who got to be your first.
C: Oh shut up. \*blushing\* Unlike you, I haven't slept with half of California. One girl is enough for me, and nothing will live up to that.
R: Sap. But like, same. I'm dating the hottest guy in the world, and he's got an amazing personality to boot.
**Couples, what's a typical night for you and your significant other?**
I: On normal nights, Chris and I are pretty chill. We'll probably cook dinner together, talk about our days while we eat, and then settle on the couch to watch TV for a bit. We might cuddle if we feel like it; occasionally I convince Chris to give me a foot massage. Once we get tired, or horny, we'll head to bed and either pass out or pick something sexy to do together. Nothing special. What about you two? All night sex binge.
S: Way to be juvenile about this.
I: I'm asking the same questions as the readers.
S: \*rolls eyes\* We usually eat not long after I get home.
I: River cooks.
S: Did I interrupt you when you were talking?
I: Fine.
S: River makes dinner most nights, though I try to bring home food with me now and then to give them a break. We go back and forth between eating at the table or on the couch. Some night when we're both tried, it's better to just watch something mindless while we eat. Once dishes and all of that happens, we'll watch something either on the couch or in bed or I might work on sketches while they read or we'll do some combination of all that. And yes, sex happens nine times out of ten before we go to sleep for the night. Happy?
I: Only for the honesty. Laurent, do you want to talk about your nights?
L: I can do that! Whether or not Alexa is home is not always certain, but we do the same thing most nights. I make dinner for us so that it is ready as Alexa arrives home. After that we will watch a few episodes of our favourite shows, usually one picked out by each of us so that we can both watch something that we like. Other nights we will watch movies together. We both go to bed early because of work for me and school for her, so we are both in bed around nine. Um...sometimes Alexa wants to do...more before we go to sleep. So then we do...more. \*blushes\*
I: Aw, it's okay. You don't need to tell us about it if it makes you nervous.
R: Okay, so nights with the two of us depend on whether or not I'm working the bar. If I am, then I'm making dinner for when Bas gets home from work. After that, we either chill out in our room, or the living room for a few hours until I have to get ready to go out to work again. Sometimes that involves me bending him over the kitchen table to screw him silly, and sometimes that's just the two of us watching some stupid sitcom and eating. Some of those nights, he'll even come to work with me to keep me company in between customers. \*beams\*
C: You two are sickeningly cute sometimes, you know that?
R: Oh, I know. Anyway, nights off are either the two of us going out to dinner or something fun - living in Los Angeles is always fun - or just lying around the house in our underwear and having fun together. Either way, spending time with my Bas is always a good time. Chris, you want to go?
C: Yeah, sure. Erm, nights with Inari are usually pretty chill. We both get home, make dinner, and usually turn on a Disney movie or a romcom while we do our own things. Sometimes I'll switch things up, and I'll do a whole romantic thing for her as a surprise, but we're probably the most vanilla out of the whole friend group-
R: Please, you let Inari peg you. That's not vanilla.
A: What's peggi-
C: \*blushing\* Never mind! Alexa, you want to go?
A: Sure! Laurent and I do different classes together - it's kind of dorky, but it's a fun couple thing we like to do - so those classes are two nights a week. Right now, it's pastry class on Monday nights, and art class on Thursdays, but we've done different language courses in the past. I know I'm really busy with med school, but having those things to look forward to make it all worth it. Other nights I'm just too tired to do much, so it's dinner and cuddling, before we get an early night.
R: And those two aren't nauseatingly cute?
C: No, they're sweet, you're just a cheeseball with a libido.

**Polypack peeps, what would you say and has been the most challenging part of integrating into the pack?**
C: Riv, you want to go first? After all, you're the newest member of the pack, so it's different for you.
R: Yeah, but you had to integrate with the inseparable Finns.
C: Just take your turn before I smack you silly.
R: \*smirks\* You gonna spank me?
C: \*blushing\* Stop that! Just go.
R: Ha, alright. Well, for me it was fine to connect with each of them individually - Bas and I had that instant connection, Chris and I bonded over a bunch of stuff, and I was able to connect with Inari because we're such similar people - but it was different forming that group connection, and finding where I fit with them all. At times, it almost felt like I was a jigsaw piece trying to fit into an already finished puzzle.
C: Riv...
R: It's fine now! It just took a while to figure out what my role in the group was. Inari and I have butted heads a little over being the two alphas, but once we worked out where each of our power worked best, it was fine. I just had to recognise that she has seniority in a lot of scenarios, and she recognises the scenarios when I'm the one in charge. It's a messy grey-area, but we work. Chris and Bas are our adorable bottoms-
C: Not always!
R: \*rolls eyes\* Fine, Sebastian's a switch, and Chris is a brat, and Inari and I are the mamas of the group.
C: Rude. For me, it was easier, I guess? Nari and I had already formed a connection of sorts, and then she introduced me to her mate, and everything sort of clicked into place once I started falling for him. I know Sebastian felt something missing, and to an extent, Inari did, but I would have honestly been fine continuing as we were. That's not to say that River doesn't bring a sense of fulfilment to the pack, but that empty space only really registered with me after we'd met them and clicked with them. Until that point, I didn't recognise the empty space as what it was.
I: That's the million dollar question.
S: Yeah.
I: Those two really think we're the inseparable ones?
S: We've known each other the longest.
I: Yeah, but--okay, me and Seb have always been a complicated thing. It took years to register for us that we weren't just friends. Most of that came from the classic media representation of a relationship. You know, boy meets girl and neither of them can keep their hands off each other type thing? We never wanted to jump into bed together. Hell, it took us living together for like two months before we actually kissed. Once that happened neither of us knew what to make of each other.
S: That was a weird day. Weird enough to get us to sign up for therapy the next day.
I: We were both confused as hell and it gave me an excuse to get that idiot in to work on his other issues. \*laughs\* By the end of those sessions, we had come to the conclusion that I was asexual which...helped? It made us feel less broken as a couple, but as individuals...
S: It freaked us out. We went through making everything official thinking that might fix things, but that hole never got any smaller.
I: Just day to day it was obvious to both of us that we had to have at least one other mate. I mean have you met Seb? How's a thirsty bitch like him supposed to be soulmates with someone who won't sleep with him?
S: Thanks for making me sound shallow.
I: You know what I mean. I knew I couldn't do everything for you that you needed and it absolutely drove the alpha in me up a wall. My alpha isn't as much of a bitch as it can be for other people, but she doesn't like any of us being upset. I think I actively started looking for our other mates after those revelations. Finding Chris first threw me for a loop. Not only did I figure out that I was demisexual with some grey ace tendencies, but he clicked into place with us so well it seemed to me that we were all done. All of a sudden we were both getting physical affection and, for me, it was the perfect balance.
S: It was good for a year or so, but that feeling never left for me. And it made me feel awful.
I: Ugh, you got so dodgy for like a month before we met River.
S: Because I felt like bastard. I never wanted to tell either of you that you somehow weren't enough. I love you both and you two were so happy I thought it had to just be me being selfish. You could handle spending time alone and so could Chris, but somehow those nights when both of you wanted space or you wanted the chance to just be together I started to feel miserable. Fuck, I went through so much scent blocker just trying to give you two that space without letting my emotions affect you. \*grumbles\* It doesn't help that omega physiology is designed to be the most attention grabbing bullshit nature ever designed.
I: And then we met River and you proceeded to be normal for a bit before getting weird again.
S: Because...I felt like click. All of a sudden everything felt right and I got why you and Chris were content so quickly. When we started to integrate River into the pack, I finally felt like I had everything I ever wanted. But...then I started thinking I was trying to spend too much time with River and I worried that you two were feeling unappreciated again or that River felt overwhelmed by me. They needed to get to know all of us, not just me, but fuck, it was so hard to shut off those feelings.
I: Which is why I had to set up that night to talk so that you didn't think yourself back into a slump. At least it gave River a good taste of what they were in for and it got everyone's feelings out in the open so we could tell you to stop feeling guilty for being happy. God, how did I survive living with a dork like you all on my own for all those years? \*laughs\*
S: Bitch.

**To our werewolves in the supernatural cast, did any of y’all have an issue with vampires before meeting Seb and Laurent?**
I: Aiti had a falling out with her family, so we never really lived in the traditional grouping. The building where we grew up had people from all kinds of backgrounds. Before I met them, I just kind of thought vampires were either ordinary people or the weird old guys who were into weird shit. Seb proved me wrong on the last, though he and Perez get into some weird shit...
L: I grew up around a lot of very protective males - my pabbi and my brothers - so I was always told that vampires were arrogant assholes who deserved to get put down. Lovely parenting, I know. That, and growing up in a predominantly werewolf area, I assumed they were all right. Then I left home, and I met some vampires, and while still dicks, they're not nearly as bad as what everyone makes them out to me. Not that my vampires are dicks. Sebastian's awesome, and Laurent's so far from the stereotypes that it's crazy.
R: Honestly, same. I got to my teenage years and started to question then whether or not vampires were as horrible as people say. I hooked up with a vampire or two back then, but nothing significant either way. They were just kind of boring. Seb's absolutely not boring though. \*grins\* The stories he has....they'd make your toes curl.
**Cousins, what do you all think of Seb’s new boo?**
Shep: OMG! LOOK AT THE CUTIE SEB IS DATING!
Nari: Wait, what the fucki? Since when does he tell you about life changing events?
Shep: :P Everyone should. But he didn't, I ran into them at the park. River is an absolute darling with impeccable taste.
Lexi: Woah, that's a tall one.
Shep: Tall 'they,' Lex.
Lexi: Cool. Pretty, though that's a little too much leg for me.
Nari: Says the man dating the five foot nothing yoga instructor... -.-
Lexi: Little is cute!
Ames: Very good fashion sense. Maybe there's hope for that boy yet.
Jay: Shep tried already, so probably not. ;P
Linds: Pretty! Never knew Seb was into femme.
Nari: xD Neither did he
Shep: But consensus?
Lexi: Cute
Linds: Cutie
Ames: 9/10 would consider stealing
Nari: Amy, don't make me ban your apartment privileges again...
Jay: Eh...cute, but not butch enough to steal
Nari: STOP TALKING ABOUT STEALING!
**Chosen fam, what's your opinion on River's new bae?**
C: Oh, I love him! Super cute, really sweet, and he seems besotted with River, which I love.
G: I dunno, I think he's bad news. Like, River's such a sweetheart, but they're also kind of naïve, and too trusting when it comes to manipulation.
C: Georgie!
G: What?! I look out for my friends and protect them from arseholes like this Sebastian.
C: Jared, back me up here please.
J: Hey, I've never met the dude, so I'm not gonna say anything. Although, he has got some pretty sick artwork on his social media, so maybe he's not that bad. Also I can totally see where River's coming from. Sebastian's kind of....hot. \*blushes\*
G: Ugh, puke-o-rama. He's not that hot, and he gives off weird vibes. I'm going to do more investigation into him before I go out to visit River.
C: Come on, Georgie-pie, lighten up. River's found someone really nice, and we should be happy for them. Jared, you'd so like Sebastian if you met him. He's kind of like you, quiet and kind of shy, but like, not as innocent as you. He's got a little bit of a naughty vibe, that River's totally into. You should have seen them with Sebastian the other night, being all cute and flirty. Totes adorable.
**Finnish crew, thoughts on Seb and his new cutie?**
E: Guys! Check it out! Looks like Seb is in a pretty serious relationship.
J: Eevert, why are you Facebook-stalking Sebastian?
E: I happened to be thinking of him yesterday. Why?
J: Kinda weird is all... Damn, he found a hot one. I mean look at those legs. They all dress like that in California?
R: Oh my fucking god, did he stop growing in grade school or is he dating a basketball player?!
E: I don't think Seb is short, so they're probably tall?
J: Wait, they?
E: Yeah, they're non-binary. Says so pretty much all over their profiles.
J: So...is Seb...
E: Gay, I think. That's what his Facebook says anyway.
J: ...Oh. Well. That clears up a few insecurities.
R: Hot whatever they are.
J: Rami!
R: I meant that in a good way! I'm straight as an arrow, but I can still appreciate that they're very pretty regardless of what's in their packing. Way too tall for me, but so are most women. I can't date girls taller than me. Don't give me that look. Eevert's the same way with guys!
E: Nothing wrong with having preferences. But I think it's a good match. They post a lot of positive stuff and have like a million about how happy they are together. It seems like the kind of person Seb needs in his life.
J: Hmm, seems like the type to be a freak in the sheets if you ask me.
R: Now who's being offensive?
J: Just saying. Didn't think Seb was much into sex.
R: How would you know?
J: ...You know, we should all message him to say hi. It's been too long.
R: You're avoiding the question and not very subtly.
J: Oh, did you know that River does vlogs?
R: ...What the hell, Mina?
**Question for the modern counterparts of pretty much everyone - how would you label your personal style?**
J: I have two fashions. A) Date Night which is a carefully designed look that says careless heartthrob. You know, that look that gets a girl to glance twice, but dressed down enough to be approachable and let the sweet thing know I live in this decade. I accentuate all the critical areas without over-showing and scaring off potential dates. B) Every Day which is my more comfortable daily wear. Usually some nice Nike and—
O: He means lazy.
S: \*snickers\*
J: It’s fashion forward! Not all of us want to walk around in jeans and a all day.
O: The Every Man as I call it.
S: Like either of you think that hard about what you wear during a normal day.
J: At least I wear more than two colors.
S: Haista vittu.
I: We call that the Goth. Metal bands and black sweats or jeans for days. With some skater punk thrown in when he feels like trying.
J: Unless he wants a guy, then he breaks out the tight shirt and jeans. We call that the Fuck Me look.
S: Haista. Vittu.
I: I prefer pastels and summery fashions. I live in California so I never have to worry about it getting cold. If I’m wearing something on my legs, it’s because my boss decided to be a bitch and demand a dress code. Bold colors can be fun too, so overall I just like the color extremes. Never neutral.
J: Never on the legs or the chest...
I: Jasso, I will hurt you, I swear to fuck.
L: Um...nice?
I: Very nice, sweetie. You’re always in polo shirts and pressed trousers or jeans when I see you.
L: Mama always said it was important to look your best.
R: The best way I describe my style in general is femme - adorable little miniskirts, crop tops, designer heels - but I suppose if you wanted to go into more detail, glam punk. Think Joan Jett meets Freddie Mercury. All that fabulousness.
C: I dunno, I guess I just go for the band t-shirts and ripped jeans. Nothing too impressive for just going to work or hanging out with friends.
R: But you dress so nicely when you go on dates! Whyyyyyy can't you dress like that all the time?!
A: I think he looks real cute.
R: Don't encourage him.
A: Well..... Anyway, for me, I'm totally into the cute vintage fashions. Ooh, there's these adorable little floofy dresses that I love wearing on a day to day basis. Obviously in the hospital, I have to wear scrubs and sneakers, but if I'm not in work, I either pair the dresses with some ballet flats, or some heels. It's hard being short.
L: Jesus fuck, you're precious. I'm literally the opposite of that. Give me all the black clothes, preferably with some cool graphic design on the t-shirt. Black works with everything, and it's easy to clean baby puke out of black, rather than a cream shirt that cost like forty bucks.
**All future married couples - what’s your favourite memory of your wedding day?**
J: The food was nice.
I: You're terrible.
J: What?! We were happy before that day and just as happy after. It was one day. I would have done it at courthouse if mama would have let us. Alyssa looked very pretty, but she always looks pretty. I don't see why everyone thinks a wedding has to be some ultimate day that you never forget.
I: \*sighs\* Ignoring that stick in the mud, I'll always cherish the memory of Chris actually being in a tux. God knows that's never happening again. \*softer smile\* And walking down the aisle with my mum was pretty special. It's always been just us together, so...I'm just glad she got to be there for that.
L: That is so sweet. Your mama sounds like a good person.
I: You've met her, Laurent, remember?
L: Oh. Right. \*blushes\* Well, my favourite moment was when I saw Alexa in her dress for the first time. She looked so beautiful like an angel and I knew in that moment that I was about to marry the most beautiful woman in the world. I think we both had tears in our eyes before she reached the altar.
I: That leaves you, Seb.
S: ...
J: If I had to go, you have to go.
S: If I hear one goddamn word out of any of you... Saying our vows. I thought I was going to freeze up and skip like half of it, but I got so lost in their eyes and, fuck, the look on their face as I kept going. I made like half of it up on the spot, but it was worth all the trouble to see them smile like that.

R: Oh, I have so many different memories from that day that I hold close to my heart. Seeing Sebastian so handsome in his tux, getting to dance with my mami for the first time in years... \*wistful sigh\* But I have to say that the best part of the whole day was those moments just after the ceremony when we just sat in that little side room together, alone together, and soaking in each other's presence. I got to hold my husband as his officially married spouse, and that's the best feeling ever.
L: Christ, you're a sap.
C: Leena, be nice. Now come on, your turn.
L: Ugh, fine. It was a pretty small affair - neither Blaise nor I wanted to make a big deal out of it - but it was pretty amazing getting Seb and Inari to walk me down the aisle together. I know it's usually the dad who does that, but those two have been better family to me than my blood relatives, so anyone who has an issue can suck my dick.
C: \*sighs\* Ever the lady, Leena, ever the lady. Anyway, nothing will ever top seeing Inari in her wedding dress, coming down the aisle with her mom. She is and always will be the most beautiful person in the room, but in that moment, she was an absolute angel, and had everyone speechless.
AM: Aww! One of the best memories I have of our wedding day is our first dance. Laurent was so awkward during our practices, but on the actual day, he went through it so well, and made me feel like the princess I always wanted to be. \*beams\*
R: See, how am I a sap, when she says something like that?
AM: Did I say something wrong?
R: Not you, bomboncita, don't worry. \*side-eyes Leena\* Alyssa, what about you?
AP: Hm....probably Jasso taking my garter off with his teeth-
C: AND we're going to end it there.
AP: What?
J: Wait--we were allowed to pick sex as a memory?
I & S: No!

**What is everyone's Netflix obsession?**
S: American Horror Story.
I: I fucking hate it when he watches it on the TV instead of his laptop.
S: \*smirks\* She walked in during one of the freakier parts and spent the next two nights jumping whenever she walked by some shadows at night.
I: Keep laughing and I tell them about the episode with the creepy little kid that made you almost throw your laptop.
S: \*glowers\*
I: That's better. Now us sane people are all about the show Love is Blind. It's so fucking cute! I have literally watched it through multiple times already. It's the absolute cutest thing ever.
J: Gross. Now The Witcher is a good show because it's based on some amazing video games. Geralt is the kind of hero I aspire to be.
S: Someone who sleeps around and drinks all day with no consequences?
J: Exactly!
O: I recently found a show called I Am A Killer which was pretty good. Not often you get to hear from people on death row.
S: That does sound kind of good.
I: I literally can't take you two anywhere.
J: Yeah, that sounds morbid.
O: You're just mad there's no boobs.
L: I like the Great British Bake Off. It is very funny and there are wonderful bakers on it. The Chef's Line is good as well and Nailed It can be funny if you are not looking for good cooking. They are all terrible cooks on that show.
I: I'm going to go watch the wholesome shows with Laurent so I don't end up with nightmares.
J: If they're so wholesome, why was he cursing at the TV last night?
L: \*blushes\* I...get a little caught up in the moment.

R: Oh, I'm super into Black Lightning at the moment! Superheroes being black and queer, I'm so into that. Also Nafessa Williams could literally thunder clap me and I'd absolutely thank her for it. Fuck, she's so gorgeous, I can't even.
C: Thirsty bitch. Me, personally, I'm not afraid to admit that I'm into Love Island. Leena's got me watching it, and it's so addictive.
R: \*disapproving look\* Chris....
C: Yeah, yeah, I'm aware of your feelings about Love Island. Hey, I'm allowed to have a trashy reality tv show to be into.
A: River, be nice. As for me, I'm loving all the costume dramas on Netflix at the moment. The Crown, Reign - Reign is so good! Not to mention, one of the actors looks so much like Laurent, but that's totally not the reason I like watching it. \*blushes\*
L: God, you're precious. See, I like something with a little more grit. I just watched this documentary called Don't Fuck With Cats, about this guy who filmed himself killing cats and kittens-
R/A: \*squeak of upset\*
Al: You're dark, kid, and you're upsetting the marshmallows. What I'm absolutely here for on Netflix though, is right up your alley though, Alexa. It's called iZombie? A zombie medical examiner, who gets to solve crimes.
A: Ooh, I might have to have a look at that one. I don't think I'll watch the cat one.....
S: Nah, give me the Witcher any day. I like me some old fashioned high fantasy, as well as a show I can binge watch in like one sitting.
L: Do you and Seb just not sleep?!

**For our future parents - how do you think being a parent has changed you and your partner‘s relationship or even your own personality?**
S: \*rolls eyes\* I raised my siblings so they didn't get fucked up by our piece of shit father. Parenting is my personality.
I: You and River have gotten more careful about where and when you fuck since Kaisa came along. I haven't walked in on you two in years. That used to be a weekly occurrence.
S: ...haista vittu.
I: Just saying.
S: We're not fucking animals.
I: History would suggest otherwise.
S: Changing the subject. We've gotten better at sitting down to work through problems together without one of us having to drag the other into it. Not only our own issues, but issues that come up with the kids. It's helps us to approach any issues that come up together so the kids don't get conflicting messages. And, yes, we're more careful about where we get intimate, but we still kiss and cuddle in front of the kids to let them know what a healthy relationship looks like.
I: Healthy is you know what he--
S: Just take your fucking turn.
I: I'm just messing with you, chill. I think I've become a more patient person since having Aleski. It wasn't easy at first, especially not when Ski started acting up in school. I couldn't think of what we had done wrong and there were a few hard weeks when I let my frustrations get the better of me. \*smiles\* But then Chris jumped in as SuperDad and offered to take Aleski out of the school for the year to see if he couldn't work with him. He figured out ways to help before we ever got him diagnosed. I'd come home and they'd be sitting there together reading or doing math or whatever subject for that day in some wacky new way. I had never seen him so excited about learning before that. Since then I've learned to trust Chris's instincts when it comes to Ski. I swear those two understand each other on an instinctual level.
L: I never feel like I am doing enough for our children. Alexa has done so much with them at every step of the way. I try to keep up with them, I do, but every year they know more and more than I will ever know. I am so proud of both of them, but I wish I could help them more with their problems. Some days I feel more like a decoration in their home rather than their father.
I: Laurent...
L: It is okay. I know I am...limited in ways. I do what I can to make up for my faults by supporting Alexa and our children in what little ways I can. Perhaps I am not so good at discipline or knowing how to handle the changing situations, but I do what I can.
R: Seb always likes to say I'm a lot more toned down since Kaisa came along, which....surprisingly I'm okay with. Like, I'm not in my teens or early twenties any more, so I'm actually glad I'm not so crazy as I used to be. But it definitely helps when it comes to parenting, even if Kaisa doesn't think I'm that cool anymore. \*pouts\*
C: She adores you, Riv, you know that. You just have to loosen up a little on the whole trying too hard thing.
R: Hmph. Easy for you to say, you've got a kid that fucking idolises you.
C: \*beams\* Aleski's such an angel. I know Nari and I had our disagreements when he was younger, about how to deal with Ski's acting out, but once she was willing to give me a chance to sort things out, everything else fell into place. Since he was born, I mean, I've definitely learnt where and when my place is, when it comes to parenting shit, but Inari's also eased back on letting me do my thing.
A: You both have it so easy. Laurent's autism is....a struggle we both experience when it comes to our kids. He struggles with the emotional sides of things, and struggles with understanding when they're upset, which can be hard to deal with on some occasions because then that is left to me - which is difficult in of itself when you're trying to parent the spitting image of your husband, and an emo teenager who doesn't want to talk about her feelings with her mom. I love them all dearly, but it's hard.
L: Try being a mom at seventeen, and then get back to me. \*rolls eyes\*
A: I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Leena....
L: Don't worry, you didn't. I mean, I'm so grateful to have Blaise in my life to help me with Sel. He's got a bond with her that I'm envious about-
R: That's like Seb and Kaisa!
L: \*glares at River\* Shut up, you got your turn. Anyway, like I was saying before I got rudely interrupted, it's nice to have someone else there to be there for my daughter in ways I can't be. There are some things I can't share with her, and that's okay. I've accepted that, as much as it saddens me.

**Question for everyone - when you do watch porn, what type of video do you gravitate towards? Like, what genre or kink?**
J: Oh, I used to watch it for hours as a teenager. You can only get laid so much in high school when you've got classes and a mother trying to drag you to confession on the weekends. \*laughs\* Mama means well, but she has some old fashioned ideas. I'll still watch videos when the mood strikes me. It's always nice to find a beautiful woman to sleep with, but I can't be bothered to go out every single night to find someone. Alyssa and I watch them together too when we're looking for some inspiration. I prefer videos that get right down to business so I'll search by the acts that I want to see like cunnilingous or deep throating. Threesomes are good too, the more women involved the better. There are a few camgirls that I support on those nights when I'm looking for something interactive to get off to. As an online creator in a different sector, I feel it's important that we all have each other's backs.
Really, the hardest part of finding videos is finding the good ones by people who want to be there. While I fully support the sex industry, I'm not blind to the people who are trapped there and forced to do shit that they don't want to. They deserve support just as much as those people who want to be in that industry who are vilified or criminalized for it. It's easier to navigate that landscape now that I know someone who's on the inside, but it's often in the back of the mind when I'm searching. Everyone in the video needs to be giving the right kind of consent and be enjoying themselves or I'm clicking out of that window.
And you can quote that last part to Pollari because I know she's gonna expect me to answer some shit like I watch everything indiscriminately. I can be a thoughtful person when it counts.
L: Uh...well, I... \*blushes\* I do not think it will surprise anyone if I say that I have not watched many of these videos. It is...I have looked once or twice. To research. I do not know much about...intimacy and those videos were very exciting, but they were not my Alexa. I suppose I looked for ones that were about...I think Alyssa called it vanilla. Not the flavour--she made that very clear--but it means only the basics. Which was what I wanted. To understand so that I could do better.
I: I'm actually glad I don't have to be around Jasso for this one. Fucking christ, his list must be three pages long.
I'm not a big porn watcher. If I'm going to get off alone, I've got my toys which are more than enough to make me happy. If a night comes around when I'm bored and wanting something a little different, I might look for something just to spice things up. The problem for me is that I don't get off to other people's naked bodies. Like a hot man can walk up to me totally nude and I'll appreciate the craftsmanship on display, but it won't do anything for me if there's no spark there.
And when I say it like that, I realise how crazy it is that I took as long as it did to figure out I was demisexual. \*laughs\*
If I want something, I'll go for erotica in whatever form I can find it in. It gives me all the cheesy love story stuff that I love along with the steamy bits so that I can have the full experience that I like. No kinks because that's just not my thing. What can I say? I'm basic as fuck. \*laughs\*
Seb: Ugh, alright, hold on. \*downs half a bottle of vodka\*
So I think it's pretty obvious that I watched a good amount of porn in high school. I was stuck in the closet and horny as hell. It was either cut my dick off or find some other method of relief because dates weren't fucking happening. Now I don't need any of it because I'm dating one of hottest fucking people to ever walk the earth. What the fuck is porn going to give me that they can't?
But if River disappears for a weekend and I find the time to be alone, I might look up a video or two. I've got access to their toy collection, but that doesn't do it for me like being with a person does. Fuck, I'd still rather do phone sex or something, but if that isn't on the table I'll go to some old favouties. I won't lie, I used to get into the bondage stuff--strictly gay bondage--and maybe the occasional threesome videos. I never want to be in a threesome, but the idea of having two cocks to play with at once is kind of exciting. Like spit-roasting they call it? Or fucking someone and getting fucked at the same time? Fuck, that would be good. Maybe if I could clone River...
O: \*hysterical laughing\* No.
R: Eh, I tend to move towards smutty fanfiction when I want something to get myself off, but I guess I go for the exhibitionist videos? You know, Couple Fuck Against Eiffel Tower, that sort of thing. It's hot to imagine yourself doing that with a partner, where anyone could see you. If Sebastian wasn't so private, I'd totally be up for doing something like that. As it is, I have to settle for the occasional car sex, or fooling around in an alleyway. Those things are great, don't get me wrong. They're really fucking good.
C: Eh, I'm not overly into porn? I guess it's just not my thing. The moaning, and dirty talk all just seems so fake, and it's not sexy in the slightest. Also it all sort of feels the same thing over and over again. Boring, y'know? Although if I was going to go for something to get off, I tend to gravitate more towards POV videos of like a blowjob or something. I can disconnect myself and let loose for a little while.
Although, I mean, Inari occasionally sends me little videos when she's in the mood for it, and those can be great fodder when I....y'know....I'll show myself out. Don't tell Inari I got weird.
AM: Oh! No, no, I've never watched anything like that....except maybe that one time I went to take Jasso some chicken soup when he was sick, and he had a video playing on the tv when I walked in. My goodness, I've never been more mortified in my life. He was totally cool with it, but I just...ugh. Other that that, I'm not really into that sort of thing. Not shaming anyone who is - I know Alyssa's a big fan - but I don't do it. Laurent and I, we just do the thing. We don't need or want to watch anyone else doing that.
AP: God, I'd love to do porn one day. There's just something about it that's so fascinating and fun. That said, I'd never want to work for one of those big companies. I'd rather make my own content, where I'm not being taken advantage of, than get roped into some fucking stupid contract where I have to do gross scenes with gross men and get paid next to nothing for it.
Wait, the question was what I watch? Oh, bondage, shibari, and femdom mostly, but I have dipped into the occasional hentai and public sex video when I've been in the mood for it. There's just something sexy about someone being tied in the most intricate of ropes, don't you think?
L: Ew. No, I don't want porn. It's over dramatic moaning, disgusting body noises, and just overall grossness. If I want to fuck myself with a dildo, I'll use my own imagination, or I'll Skype my boyfriend.

**Question for all couples - what’s your sex life like? Do you think it’s satisfying or underwhelming, or somewhere in the middle? What’s your favourite things to do?**
J: My sex life is great, though I still don't know if I agree to being included in these "couple" questions.
I: Couples and fuck buddies. Better?
J: Eh, lacking nuance.
I: You know what nuance means?
J: Fuck off. We're answering questions, remember? So my sex life is very satisfying. I get to sleep with whoever I want and that includes my roommate, so I've got no reason to complain. My favourite thing...I'm an uncomplicated kind of guy, so I would say threeways. The only thing better than sleeping with one beautiful woman is sleeping with two. It's always exciting balancing my attention between the two or watching them get it on. \*sighs happily\* The possibilities are endless.
I: Predictable but okay. Chris and I do alright. There are days when he gets a little needy, but thankfully he's also a toy guy so it's easy to break out one of his favourites on those days when I'm not feeling it keep him happy. Toys are probably my favourite thing that we do. Fucking is fine, but playing with vibrations is so good. I can get so many orgasms out of playing with a bullet.
J: I'll bet you can...
I: Jasso, this is your only warning. Say something like that again and i will kill you.
J: Understood.
I: What about our quiet two hiding in the corner?
L: Oh, I am happy with...\*blushes\* my sex life. We...um...we are happy together. We do...um...I do not know how many different options there are. I enjoy being with Alexa and seeing her happy, so as long as she is enjoying what we are doing than I am enjoying it as well. Is that...good?
I: You did great. \*pats shoulder\* That leaves only one of us...
S: No.
I: Come on. Laurent even gave us a little something.
S: No.
I: Why so shy all of a sudden?
J: Yeah, why so shy?
S: I'm not giving you two ammunition.
I: You don't have a choice. We've locked the doors.
S: In a disembodied space?
J: Just answer the question for fuck's sake.
S: We have a fucking great sex life and everyone knows what we enjoy.
I: Say it.
S: Haista vittu.
J: Let me think...what's the kinkiest shit I've heard River talking about?
I: Ropes? There were ropes.
J: I know those two have gotten off doing it in public together. Like at the sex parties Alyssa finds.
S: I like being with River! We do a lot of shit and I don't really care what it is so long as they're the one there. Happy?!
J: ...Oh, he's totally into giving oral. Fuck, I knew that before those two became a thing.
S: That's it. I'm out! \*door slam\*
I: Damn, I thought we locked that.
AP: First of all, does this just cover personal sex lives? Because I do this for a living, but does that count?
L: Let’s just stick to personal lives, since the rest of us can’t get paid for sex.
AP: Please, you’d make an awesome escort, kid. You just have to sort out that resting bitch face situation you got going on there.
L: Bite me, Perrin. I’m going to go first here, since I know you and Perez are going to go into overshare mode about what happens in your bedrooms. I have a sex life. It’s great, and everyone comes away satisfied. That’s all any of you need to know. Alexa?
A: \*blushing\* Me? Oh, we don’t really do anything of note. I don’t think…. What I mean to say, I think, is that we’re not too….adventurous? We don’t even really do it that often. \*blushing intensifies\*
C: Aww, that’s cute though. Unlike what some people would have you think- \*side-eye at River\*- it’s perfectly normal to not want sex every second of every day.
R: My sex life is fucking fantastic, I’ll have you know.
C: I think everyone knows a little too much about your sex life, Riv. You’re not exactly a closed book about…anything. Not to mention, the sounds that come from your bedroom aren’t quiet in the slightest.
R: Okay, but like, Sebastian is the best lay I’ve ever had in my life, and I get to sleep with that ass for the rest of eternity. \*grins\* He’s creative, and cheeky, and we’ve only rarely come across anything that one of us wants to do that the other doesn’t. Other than that, we’re so compatible, and it works, and we have fun with it. The next thing I want to do is maybe one of those Clone-A-Willy kits….
L: Ew.
C: Don’t you own like a million and one dildos already?
R: Yeah, but imagine one molded specifically like Sebastian’s cock?
A: \*blushing scarlet\* River!
R: What? I’m not the one who likes getting pegged by his girlfriend.
A: What even is that? I asked before, but nobody told me.
AP: Oh, pegging is where the guy lets his girlfr-
C: NOPE! Nu-uh, we’re not going there. Alexa, trust me, you don’t need that information.
AP: Aww, is someone going red? Nothing wrong with pegging, Chris. I do it a little with some guys I’ve slept with. Those guys are the best guys though, because they’re not under some weird masculine delusion that it’s a weak thing to enjoy that. All in all, my sex life is pretty fucking amazing. I get to sleep with whoever I want, and then even if those are below par, I can go home and screw the shit out of Jasso. I swear though, where has that man been the last few years? He’s basically me with a cock, and it’s amazing. If only he didn’t mouth off quite as much as he does…
C: Pot calling the kettle black?
R: Oh yeah. Now, Chris, your turn.
C: Wait, did I not go?
L: Nice try. Can't get out of this. Let's hear it.
C: Ugh, fine. We have a pretty good sex life. Our dynamic works because I like it when she's dominant, and she likes having the control. Sometimes I'm in the mood when she's not, but that's where some solo toys come into play.
R: Oh, do you use that vibrating cock ring I got you for Christmas?
C: I'm not answering that.
R: You totally do. \*smirks\*
**PolyPack!Seb and Inari, what do you both think of all your mates? First impressions and what you think of them now.**

I: If you want to go way back, I suppose Seb and I hit it off right away, but as friends. Like neither of us ever thought we would want to date, never mind end up as mates.
S: Yeah. We figured it out one weekend after Inari went away and we both needed to see each other as soon as she got back.
I: But it never became physical, not even after we figured out how much we relied on each other.
S: It was more like we found each other as family. Not siblings or anything, but not mates. Not in the traditional sense.
I: We make it work now. Some people think it’s weird how we operate, but it works for us and that’s all that matters. Now Chris was when things got complicated. We both knew there had to be more than just the two of us. I mean neither of us are ace, so it would never work for us to continue on in a sexless relationship forever. We’d drive each other crazy.
S: Yeah. I was more anxious about that than she was. Probably because I like physical affection more than she does.
I: I was the first one to meet Chris. It was one of his temp jobs, I think. Maybe something at my college in like the cafe. Either way, I watched him spending weeks getting the courage up to flirt with me and I have to admit it was adorable to watch. I knew he was worth a shot, but I was worried how he would react to hearing that dating me meant dating someone else as well. And I couldn’t leave Seb out to dry. He was already struggling not having someone around to love on him how he needed.
S: Thanks for making me sound needy.
I: Like it’s not obvious that you’re the second biggest cuddled in our house. But yeah, I accepted his invitation to coffee and sat him down to explain the whole situation. Surprisingly enough, he was willing to give it a go. Hardly needed any convincing. Which left Seb to stress about that first date.
S: Shut up. I just...wanted to make a good impression. I knew he was into Inari, so I figured coming off tough would be alright but people have weird ideas about omegas. If you go against those ideas some people, whether they’re attracted to you or not, get offended like they can’t believe you’re not behaving yourself. I didn’t want to fuck this up for Inari, but I only had one shot at it. Chris turned out to be pretty cool actually. He was hot, so I could see us dating, maybe becoming something more. It was kind of awkward at first. Neither of us knew what to make of each other, but then we talked a out jobs and that got us onto art which kind of got me to start actually falling for him.
I: \*smirks\* The fact that Chris got nice and close while you were showing off all those pictures of your work had nothing to do with it.
S: Like you can talk. He pulled out your chair for you to sit down and I practically saw you swooning.
I: So we both have our weaknesses. Mine is old fashioned romance and yours is any amount of skin on skin contact.
S: \*scowls\* Anyway, Chris is still cool. I don’t think we’re as close as he and Inari are, but we have an intimate relationship and we chill together when we need a break from the other two.
I: Yeah, Chris and I are pretty close. What can I say? He’s like an alpha who’s not afraid to show him who’s boss and I like all his sappy shit. Which takes us to River. You wanna start, Grumpy?
S: \*rolls his eyes\* Yeah, I thought they were hot and I might’ve gotten a little carried away when we first met. I just...they were cute and, fuck, they smelled so good. I needed them to click with the rest of the group because...well fuck, the thought of them not being a part of my life after that was the worst fucking thing.
I: Which is how we figured out he had a bad imprint from that first meeting. Like he was gone in less than a minute. I liked River when we first got to talking. They’ve got an infectious good vibe and it’s almost impossible not to love that about them. I think we got on as friends first, but we got some physical chemistry as well. It not the same as for me and Chris, but it’s good on those days that we both want to play around in different ways. I’m happier just knowing we have that balance as a unit now. None of us ever have to feel alone.
S: Yeah. River was that one missing piece of our puzzle. They only needed like a day before it felt like we had never had a life without them. And they made it okay for me to explore some of my other traits without feeling like I’d be judged for it. Which Inari and Chris never did, but we just have different dynamics.
I: He’s trying to avoid saying he’s happy he found someone to be kinky with.
S: Why do you always have to be like that?
**Question for all our couples - what's your partner's tv show of choice?**
R: Oh, Seb loves the gruesome shit. That's part of why we work so well together. \*beams\* Lately he's been into American Horror Story, but in the past, I've seen him watching The Purge, and even stuff like Buffy. I like Buffy because of the gay shit and because of the witches, but he loves all of it.
L: Why am I not surprised you like the show with the lesbians? Such a stereotype.
R: Excuse me, Tara and Willow were the first openly lesbian couple on a mainstream show, and I will never forgive the writers for how they killed Tara off.
L: Dramatic bitch. Now, my man.... he loves some action. Right now, he's been binging The Sopranos, which I'm not that into, but it's chill. He can watch that while I go for my run.
A.M: Laurent adores all those cute baking shows on Netflix. It's so super cute how he gets excited about the nicely decorated cakes. There's this adorable British show he's started recently, with a funny name - Choccywoccydoodah? I'm pretty sure that's the name, but he loves it. I mean, I sometimes tune out a little when they get a little samey, but he doesn't notice so it's okay. Ooh, and he's also started watching Queer Eye, after River recommended it. Those boys are so adorable, and it's such a wholesome show.
C: Try watching it with River in the room and you won't like it so much after hearing them gush about Jonathan Van-fucking-Ness.
R: Fuck off.
A.M: Language!
R/C: \*in unison\* Sorry, Alexa.
A.P: \*snickers\* Mama Alexa strikes again. Now, Jass and I are so not a couple, but he's started watching Game of Thrones, which is a pretty good show. Not that he really pays attention to it, other than when the prostitutes get their tits out-
S: Literally the only good reason to watch it past season six, I swear. \*rolls eyes\* Georgie's rewatching Glee at the minute and forcing me to watch it with her. Isn't the whole point of a long-distance relationship so you don't have to watch shit tv together? I didn't mind it so much when we were watching Supergirl together on Skype dates, but now she has us watching a shitty teen drama with awful teenagers in it, who aren't even teenagers!
C: Inari has good tv tastes-
R: \*whip noise\*
C: Bitch. She totally does though. When we're watching tv in the same room, and she's chosen what to watch, I don't actually feel like yanking my eyeballs out of my sockets. Like, that Love Is Blind thing? Pretty decent.
J: Hey, Shep's watching that too! He loves all that romantic reality tv stuff. It's...not really my thing. There's not a lot of diversity on those sorts of shows, and there's like never any autistic rep.
R: Oh, baby.... \*squeeze-hugs Jared\*
J: Alyssa's not my--
I: Your anything. We know, Jass, but she answered for you so you're gonna answer for her.
J: ...Fine. Uh...she watches...uh...that one show with the guy...I think it was in French...
I: Really, Jass?
J: What? We don't watch TV together! Maybe a movie now and then, but otherwise, we're independent people with different tastes. Fuck, we're more likely to watch porn together than TV.
L: \*goes beet red\*
I: Hey, stop infecting the innocent with your trashy views.
O: She's watching The Good Place. Idiota.
I: See, Jass. It's called paying attention.
J: If it's so easy, then what's Chris watching?
I: He usually asks me to pick when we're watching stuff, but he recently suggested we watch the revived Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and it's actually not bad. I wrote it off as a nerd show, but something about watching B movies with people cracking jokes in the background is oddly entertaining. We might even go back for some of the classic episodes.
J: Oh. Well...Laurent! What kind of TV does Alexa like to watch?
L: Oh, Alexa enjoys the shows based on older times. We have watched many of them together. I do not enjoy them as much--the shows can be...\*blushes\* torride--but it is good to see Alexa get to relax. There is one about the Russian rulers that we started the other day which has been interesting.
J: Fuck.
I: \*smirks\* Admit, Jasso. You're observant as a bag of hammers.
J: It's not just me! Uh...Seb!
S.K: What?
J: What does River watch for TV?
Se: A lot of shit?
J: Ha! See he doesn't know specifics.
Se: That was a joke, paskanaama. Sort of. They're go-to's are reality shows and anything with any amount of queer representation. I can't get into most of the gossip show shit they get into, but they started one called The Kindness Diaries the other day that was actually alright. And they find the better movies out there with actual representation, so I can't complain about those...you know, unless I want to annoy them.
J: ...Shep?
Sh: Omg, Jared finds the cutest shows! He's always on the hunt for stuff that has both queer and autistic representation and we watch absolutely all of those together, but he's also gotten into k-dramas recently and I'm actually kind of into them too even with all subtitle reading. There's a cute one called Rookie Historian...something that we started last weekend and it's just great. His stuff might not be what I always watch, but he has excellent tastes.
J: I'm not gonna win this, am I?
I: Nope.
Sh: Oh and I got a text from Georgie. \*reading\* She said to say that Sanna gets into anything with a hot female lead or is psychological or has a romantic, feel-good vibes. Example is...Umbrella Academy. Oh and to say that Jasso's a dumbass.
J: \*sighs\*

**Question for all our parents: who’s your favourite kid? Doesn’t have to be your own, just in general.**
L: What? I love both of my children. I...you are not supposed to pick one over the other...
I: It's okay, Laurent. You're excused from this question. Um...well, damn, Aleski is easily one of the best kids. Draining some days, but still my baby and such a good boy. At the same time, Archie has basically become my secondary son--like give it a few more years and that's totally gonna be a thing---and he's kept Aleski in one piece for years, so I might have to say him. 10 out 10; would recommend.
S: Depends on the day and who's being the biggest demon that day.
I: \*smirks\* Elaborate.
S: On a good day when everyone is behaving themself--which is about one day a year--all of them. Days when Kaisa and River are going back and forth, Adrien for trying to calm them down. Days when Adrien starts reminding me a little too much of River, Izzy for talking some sense into her brother. Days when the twins are putting their little devious minds together, Kaisa. And on the hellish days when all three of them are acting up, probably Pietro. I swear, I never have to tell that boy to do anything. If he's in the house, he behaves like an actual adult.
**To all our resident cishets - had you ever met a queer person before your current friend group/partner, and how do you show your allyship?**
I: Like so many, but I think everyone knows that by now. I support all of friends in whatever they do, so I’ve punched homophobes for getting in their faces, debated transphobia teachers who insisted on using legal names, and helped others through coming out to themselves and the public. No t-shirts or other clothes required. My actions are my support.
J: A few years before. And by a few I mean about thirteen years when my brother was born. And I show my support by making sure that no one messes with him. Also taking him to the occasional Pride thing. Unlike Seb, Oriel is more into that kind of thing in his own quiet way.
L: Um, maybe? I never had any friends who were queer before, though my brother used to have many friends over that I remember him and our parents fighting about. They never told me why though it might have been because of all the noise they would make. \*blushes\* I try to be a good friend and I go with all of them to the Pride festivals when they invite me. Does that count?
C: I've known River since forever, so that's never been an issue. It felt a little weird when they came out, sure, but that was more just me not really knowing how I could help them or what it were all about. Other than that, I've known a few other queer people in school, and around the neighbourhoods I've lived in over the years. There was this super cute trans girl I dated in college for a while, and I really liked her....until she moved to Scotland and broke up with me.
L: Well, there's my brother, Oliver? He came out when he was sixteen, but I was only like five at the time, so it didn't really matter either way. It was just as normal for me to see his boyfriend come over, as it was for Kristjan's or Johann's girlfriends to be around. I never knew any trans people until I got to high school, but like, if I hear anyone talking shit about someone for being queer, I'm going to punch the shit out of them. No questions asked. Your intolerance will earn you getting your ass kicked.
A: Leena! \*shakes head\* I have had an....odd relationship with reconciling my faith with members of the LGBT community. I've known some absolutely darling people who are gay, or transgender, but according to the Bible, they're sinners? I can't bring myself to believe that. I mean, have you ever met River? They're the sweetest person ever, and they're absolutely not going to hell for anything. All I can do to trust that God sees how good these people are, and how love is just simply that. Love, in all of its forms.
**Childhood!AU Seb and Inari - how did you both react when River came out as trans to you? And what did you do afterwards to show support?**
I: About the same way I acted when Lexi came out to all of us; I pretended to be surprised and then congratulated them on the discovery. I mean have you met River? It's not just that they like feminine styles and pastimes--Shep likes all that stuff too--but they almost avoid masculine styles. It was easy for me to see that they weren't comfortable with any aspect of maleness. After...I started using their pronouns and invited them to all the girly shit I was already inviting them to. Oh and I smacked any bitches trying to get in their face about it. No one's got time for that kind of stupidity.
S: They had been talking to me for a while about their research into the LGBTQ community beforehand, so I guess I wasn't surprised surprised. It was strange to hear them say it out loud. I had known them for long as a boy. Not a nor--traditional boy, but someone with a dick who went by he/him. But I wasn't a dick about that. I made sure they knew I was happy for them and behind them, whatever that meant. I didn't really know what all of it meant so there were a few more lessons. By the end of that night, I made them promise to call or text or shout if they ever had a bad bout of dysphoria so I could come and help. I only kind of know what that is, but I know the important parts about how shitty it makes them feel and I don't like knowing they're feeling shitty all alone.
I a threw...not a giant party, but once they had come out to our closer friends, I kind of convinced everyone to do a little thing for them. Might've gone on a hunt around town to find them some cute jewelry with the nonbinary flag on it. The Pride stuff was harder for me to get into because of my own...issues at the time, but that only lasted like one batting of their eyelashes because they're a manipulative bitch when they want something bad enough. A really pretty, manipulative bitch...
**Question for everyone - if you could date a Disney character, who would it be and why? (And for Oriel, who would you want to be friends with?)**
I: Hm...that's a great question. You know, it's a recent movie, but I'd have to say Kristoff from Frozen. He's absolutely adorkable, good with animals, and so sweet. Like that's a packaged deal right there.
J: Of course she picked an awkward one.
I: What was that?
J: Nothing! Now let me think... Oh, that's a hard one...Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I mean have you seen her?
I: Jasso are you about to make me disappointed in you?
J: If I only have one chance to bang an anatomically impossible woman, I'm aiming for the most anatomically incorrect of them all.
I: Ugh.
S: Okay, this isn't a fair question. Almost every male Disney lead is dull or nerdy. Or an animal.
I: \*snickers\* Can't be attracted to your own kind?
S: Were you calling me dull, nerdy, or an animal?
I: Keep looking, we'll come back to you. Oriel?
O: Mad Madam Mim.
J: If I didn't know you were saying friend, I'd have to question your sanity.
O: I appreciate the non-conformers. She doesn't have enough fans in my opinion.
I: Fair enough. Laurent?
L: Oh, um...I think I would like Anita from 101 Dalmations.
I: Really? Why her specifically?
L: \*blushes\* I loved that movie as a child and there was always something about how she and Roger were together that made me happy. She seems like such a sweet lady, I suppose I wanted to get to know her better.
I: That's adorable. I love. Seb, you pick anyone yet?
S: \*sighs\* The dude from Lilo and Stitch, I guess.
I: Wait, David?
S: Sure, if that's his name. Riv and I watched it not long ago and the guy seemed genuine. And the movie says he's got a good butt, so if he existed that would probably be true.
I: You and Jasso, I swear.
S: I said he was genuine!
J: Eh, just accept the shallowness, Seb. It's a fun pool to be in.
I: You're both hopeless and banned from Disney things.
C: Okay, everyone else can go first, and River, you're last, because I know you're going to have a whole list of people and if you go first, nobody else will get a look in.
R:....ugh, fine.
C: Good. Now, starting off, I'm gonna say I used to be super into Belle as a kid. I mean, she's educated, and gorgeous, and while her taste in men is a little debatable, I totally would go there.
L: I dunno what it says about you that you're going for the bestiality girl, but alright, Rosa-
C: It's not bestiality!
L: Sure it's not. Anyway, give me Tadashi Hamada any day. We could fuck over his work desk any day. \*smirks\*
B: Ahem.
L: This is all hypothetically, obviously.
B: Uh-huh. Well, if I'm getting a chance to speak this time, I'm saying that Elsa's pretty awesome, and if I wasn't loving my girlfriend, I'd be all over that.
A: And if she wasn't fictional?
B: That too.
A: \*giggles\* Elsa's super pretty! I guess if I was going to date anyone from the Disney universe....Flynn Rider? \*blushes\* He's really handsome, and he would be such a gentleman if we were together.
A.P: You're precious, kid. I would definitely fuck Flynn if we had the opportunity, but I definitely wouldn't say no to fucking Hades from Hercules.
R: Oh come on! He's so flaming gay, how could you even miss that?!
C: Riv, wait your turn. Sanna, what about you? Which Disney girl catches your fancy?
S: Oh, definitely Meg from Hercules. She's super sexy, an independent woman, exactly my type.
C: Which is why you've had a crush on Inari since forever? \*grins\*
S: Absolutely. \*grins back\* Okay, now River-
R: Let's see...Flynn Rider, Tadashi, Naveen, Shang - the literal bi icon we all need in our lives - Moana, Scar...
C: THE LION?!
R: \*shrugs\* He'd make a hot human, and he was absolutely queer-coded, so we'd make a good pair. Anyway; Kida, Elastigirl, Jim Hawkins, Jessica Rabbit....
C: \*sighs in disappointment\*
**Cousins, what queer media representation spoke to you the most when you saw it? Whether that be a tv character, an actor, anything like that.**
A: Let me go first before Shep steals the spotlight.
Sh: But--!
A: I personally love all the representation in The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, but I also have a dark sense of humor and enjoy shows that are willing to dip into what others prefer to avoid. I would have to say that Ambrose is the cutest in the cast and totally the one who I would bang.
Sh: True! I don't like the show, but Chance Perdomo is so cute. \*squeals\* I was totally going to say Shadowhunter Chronicles too - Alec and Magnus are so fucking hot and their relationship is adorable! I mean there are so many amazing couples in that show, but those two are easily my favourites.
Le: I think you were supposed to be talking about what touched you. Not what turned you on.
Sh: Hey, if I see a cute gay guy on TV, how am I not supposed to fall in love with him? \*gasps\* I could totally rewatch it this weekend! I just made my plans for this weekend.
Le: Hopeless. \*laughs\* Well, for me, I would have to say Tangerine. It's a movie that not only has a trans character, but it features two transwomen of color and shows what life can be like on the streets in Los Angeles. It was so amazing to see someone willing to make a movie like that, I was just blown away the first time I heard about it. I might not be mainstream, but it's progress.
J: Oh, that movie was good. I had a moment like that when I saw Pariah for the first time. That movie felt so real and I've know other lesbians with stories not so different from it. Seeing a film where lesbians aren't being treated like eye candy for a man is too rare, and seeing black lesbians is even rarer. I only had to see that movie once for it to hit my top ten charts.
Li: Oh, I remember you showing me that. That one was great. For me I think I'd have to say a movie that I like just saw called Portrait of a Lady on Fire. I'm a total sucker stories like that even though it has such a bittersweet ending.
J: You and your angsty shit. You need to come to romcom night some time.
Sh: Oh! There's was a new Netflix movie I want us to watch!

**Question for the supernatural Core Four - what are some of your housemates‘ quirks and habits that get on your nerves?**
S: Considering how many people live in this house, that's a long list.
I: \*snickers\* Especially when you're asking the grumpy, old man in the house.
S: \*glares\* You want me to start with you?
I: I dare you to.
S: You think you're so clever.
I: I am clever. Not a quirk. Failure.
S: If we keep this up, we're going to be at this all day.
I: Fine. You grumbling about someone daring to open the curtains. Me being a clever werewolf. Next.
S: \*sighs\* Fine. Jasso constantly dragging women into the house and not waiting until he gets back to his room to fuck them. Some of us have very sensitive hearing.
I: Pot meet kettle.
S: Kettle owns the house. Do you enjoy him fucking women against every surface in the house?
I: That's fair. Alyssa isn't much better.
S: Her inability to put away her sex toys annoys me more. I swear I've bought her a dozen different tubs for the goddamn things.
I: I mean I appreciate getting to use those toys when she forgets about them. I haven't had to go to a sex shop in months. But Oriel? I'd say the Spanish soap operas he always watches at noon on big screen TV.
S: Daily.
I: Daily.
S: And Laurent is always cooking sweet things, and offering them to me.
I: You would complain about that.
S: I don't like sweet things.
I: So say no.
S: ...
I: Softie. What about his workaholic girlfriend? That girl worries me to death with the thousands of post-it notes she goes through a day. She either going to give herself chronic papercuts or she's going to single handedly deforest all fo North America.
S: That's why I encourage Laurent to put lavender in her tea at night. Studying isn't as important as living. And Leena? Do you know how often I've walked in on her video chatting with Blaise? They're never just chatting.
I: So dramatic. I thought you'd seen it all already.
S: She's too young to be doing that sort of thing with anyone.
I: She's a grown woman who's more than capable of making her own choices. And Blaise is a grown man who know if he ever hurts her in any way, he's a grown deadman. \*grins\* Guess that only leaves the big ones.
S: You first.
I: Please, we both know what Chris does that's annoying. Constantly experimenting without telling anyone.
S: Fucking hell. I wish I could take away his damned magic some days.
I: You've only had to experience that over the last year. I've been living with that idiot for almost a decade now, dealing with shower randomly spraying strawberry juice or my favourite shirt growing legs. You haven't earned the right to bitch about him yet.
S: \*rolls his eyes\* I'm the dramatic one?
I: Okay, what about River?
S: You're asking? They can't clean up after themself to save their life. I've yelled at them about it a thousand times in the last year alone.
I: \*snickers\* Would you believe that's them trying to be clean? They were worse when the four of us lived on our own.
S: \*walks off muttering in archaic Finnish\*
R: Where do I even begin?! There is so many things I could list off here that you just wouldn't even believe-
C: Need I remind you that we have to live with these people, and you should be very careful with what you say so you don't wake up in a devil's trap tomorrow morning.
R: \*eyes narrowing\* I swear to God, Rosa, if I get so much as a hint of salt in my room, you're sleeping in the outhouse. And with that, I'm starting with you - your annoying habit of leaving your magic stuff around the place. If it's got a spell on it, keep it in the fucking basement!
C: Says the bitch who leaves the rest of their stuff around the house! I don't need to be finding your panties tucked down the back of the sofa, or hanging off the chandelier in the foyer. \*rolls eyes\* But another little quirk of you that annoys the fuck out of me is you and Seb yelling across the house at each other. Like, I don't even have enhanced hearing and it goes right through me, so God only knows what it sounds like to Laurent or the girls.
R: \*sticks tongue out\* Yeah, but those arguments end in mind-blowing sex, so it's all good. What about Inari?
C: She's perfect in every way!
R: Uh-huh. Try again.
C: Ugh...fine. It's annoying how she always sides with Leena on everything, even when Leena's in the wrong. Sexism, as far as I'm concerned.
R: See, for me, it's super annoying when she gets possessive over you and practically drags you back to her nest like some kind of dragon. I thought I get jealous easy, but then I met Inari. \*snickers\* And then there's my hopeless mess of a boyfriend who can't cook for the life of him. Honestly, how do you make it to be that old without being able to cook? He burns water, for God's sake! Ugh. What about Jasso and Alyssa?
C: \*shudders\* They don't keep their sex to the bedroom. Or the house for that matter. I caught them in the vegetable patch last night
R: My vegetable patch?! Bastards! I really don't like Alyssa's habit of dodging grocery shopping...or really any chore. Oh, she's more than happy to hog Netflix for hours on end, but she is never around when we need groceries.
C: Or Jasso's habit of stealing everyone else's condoms?
R: Not like Seb and I use them anymore, but yeah, that's annoying as fuck. Hey, what about Laurent and Alexa?
C:....does Alexa even have anything wrong with her?
R: Maybe her insistence on making sure everyone gets breakfast? Sometimes I just want to skip breakfast and spend a few more hours in bed, y'know?
C: Laurent and Alexa are just too sugary sweet.
R: Right?! It's like talking to two newborn kittens who can't comprehend anything negative in the world. Adorable but totally exhausting.
C: What's exhausting is Leena's insistence on spending hours in the bathroom every morning. Some of us have work to get to. Actually, come to think of it, you and Inari and Alyssa do the same thing! If I want the bathroom before half eight in the morning, I have to get up at the crack of dawn. \*huffs\*
R: \*smugly\* It takes time to reach perfection.

**Everyone, time to be thirsty AF - who’s your celebrity crush at the moment? And Oriel, who do you most respect celebrity-wise right now?**
Sh: I HAVE TO PICK ONE?!?!
Se: Didn't you already answer this question once?
Sh: Kinda...But I listed like six people, not the one. Okay, okay, I'll go quick...I'm gonna say Mike Johnson. I know the last season of The Bachelorette finished months ago, but I rewatched it all like a month ago and I was so freaking mad the night that Mike got eliminated. Like, girl, have you seen that man?! Hot as hell and sweet to boot. I know Jared always complains about everyone being fake on these shows, but I refuse to believe any part of that man is fake.
I: You are way too obsessed with that show. It's unhealthy, Shep. Now me, I know quality. I've been crushing on Adam Demos since I watched Falling Inn Love last week, and I don't care what anyone says, that movie is adorable.
Se: You both of shit have shit taste in movies.
I: Oh? And who's your pick, Mr. High and Mighty?
Se: Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman--and it has nothing to do with your garbage movie. \*glares\* I saw him first in American Horror Story and then in the LGBTQ romance movie that River made me watch a few weeks ago. He's hot, theoretically available if I weren't in a relationship, and a good actor. Win on three fronts.
J: Not the worst choice if I'm being honest. I mean if I had to pick a guy. Personally, I just watched through The Witcher and I would happily ask Anya Chalotra out for a night. That woman is gorgeous on so many levels.
L: Oh, I have seen pictures of her. She does look pretty. \*blushes\* I think I would have to say that I admire the actress who plays Queen Elizabeth II in the TV series that Alexa likes. She is a very pretty woman and so talented.
O: Yeah, none of that shit for me, but I respect the hell out of Hossein Ensan. He's the 2019 World Series Poker Champion and he plays a wicked good game. He killed it last year and become the oldest champion since Noel Furlong, and his earnings this year alone are more $13,000,000. The man's unstoppable and proof you don't have to be a young man to excel in professional poker.
J: Not an ounce of interest unless fat stacks of cash are on the screen. I worry about some days, hermano.
R: Oh wow, where do I start? I'm absolutely obsessed with Tyler Oakley at the moment. I loved him when he was doing fandom content a few years ago, but have you seen him now?! He's so buff, and muscley, and he's so mature. Ugh, he's so cute!
C: He's also like a foot and a half shorter than you. You dating him would be the equivalent to you dating Alexa. \*snickers\* The pixie and the sasquatch. Ow, River!
R: \*lowers pillow with a smirk\* Don't disrespect me and answer the damn question.
C: Fine. I've been really interested in this Youtuber I found online a few weeks ago. Her name's Kristina Maione, and she's super cute; not to mention, really passionate about the things she makes videos about. Oh, and actually educated on the issues, which I love.
L: You've got a type, Rosa, and it's hilarious.
R: I wouldn't poke, little one - you fit the bill of Chris' type as well.
L: Ew, don't be gross, Perez. \*sticks tongue out\* Meanwhile, I'm all here for the guy who plays Behrad on Legends. I know he's probably not going to be a main star, but he's dorky and adorable.
J: He's so hot! \*blushes\* But I'm kind of a nerd about those shows, so that's no surprise. Actually, in regards to that, I've totally been into Brandon Routh lately. He got to play Superman, and now he's the adora-bubble Ray Palmer. I do love a science-y guy with a heart of gold...
G: And yet you're dating the fashion major. \*laughs\* Brandon Routh is okay, but how could you discount the literal lesbian Jesus, Hayley Kiyoko? That girl would leave me in a puddle if I ever met her- \*catches look from Sanna\* But like, I would never give up my beautiful girlfriend for her. Of course not.
S: Good girl. And since we're talking celebrity cuties, can we just talk about Gigi Hadid? Those legs are to die for.
R: Is it the legs you're interested in, or a little bit above that? \*smirks\*
A: What do you mean-oh. \*blushes wildly\*
R: ...never mind. You take your turn, Alexa.
A: Oh, okay. I don't know anyone more handsome than mi amor, but I suppose I would choose James Morton. He was on the most recent season of Great British Bake Off that Laurent and I binge watched together - we're a little behind, ssh! - and he's very handsome. Not to mention he has the cutest sweaters all the time.

**PolyPack!River and Chris, what do you both think of all your mates? First impressions and what you think of them now.**
R: Well, Chris, you gonna go first? After all, you met our wonderful mates before I did.
C: Yeah, sure. Okay, so I met Inari way back when I was working as a temp barista at this café in the city centre. Cute little place, good coffee - well, except maybe when I was working the coffee machines. \*laughs\* But the coffee was nowhere near as hot as this one girl that kept coming in. Right from the get go, I was totally gone for her. I mean, have you ever heard her laugh? It's the best fricking sound in the world, and when she does that little motion where she tucks her hair behind her ear? Call me a puddle.
R: You're a puddle.
C: Shut up. I swear, you're more dad jokes than anything else.
R: I'm just awesome like that.
C: Sure you are. Anyway....it took me weeks to even pluck up the courage to talk to her, let alone anything else, which is why it was so surprising when she initiated conversation, and like, actually flirted with me? I've been told pretty much since puberty that I should set my sights on a nice omega girl, and not an alpha, because that's just not realistic, because alpha women are out of my league. \*rolls eyes\*
R: And yet you ended up dating two alphas and an omega dude.
C: Yeah, funny how that worked out, isn't it? The whole Seb thing was totally out of the blue, more than just Inari actually wanting to date me. When Inari told me about her mate, and that she wanted to introduce us both, I was a little apprehensive, but more along the lines that I've never dated a guy before. I was raised on dating girls, if that makes any sense, so the concept of romantically seeing a guy was something totally alien. I mean, how do you even flirt with a guy? Fuck, I barely know how to flirt with women.
R: Ain't that the truth. In my experience, men secretly just want all the physical affection, even if they're being macho idiots about it.
C: Riv, that's because you've been the luckiest son-of-a-bitch and gotten to date all nice people. Anyway, when I first met Sebastian....it was weird to start off with, because we were both so obviously nervous and uncomfortable, but then he mentioned he was into art, and I was sold. Not to mention, he's probably the hottest omega I've ever seen in my life, and he's talented as fuck. The first time we slept together was....something else.
R: Yeah, but like, look at him! One look and people are dropping their panties for him. \*dreamy sigh\*
C: Just you, whore. \*shakes head fondly\* Meeting River at the Ren fair was special though. All day I'd been feeling like there was something pulling at my heart, almost like whenever Seb or Nari go out of town for something. I thought it was nothing, but then I go and fall on my face....only to be caught by this angel, who then went on to invite me for a drink without even skipping a beat. Naturally, me being the total weirdo that I am, I stammered out an apology and made a beeline out of there.
R: Oh, I thought you were so sweet! You were just the most adorable little bean, and I didn't know what to do with myself except ask you out. For all you who don't know, I was on my break from all my Renaissance princess duties, and getting something to eat, when suddenly I feel this cutie trip over the train of my dress. I had to drop my food to catch him, of course, but it was so much like one of those romantic comedy moments that I can't even be mad that I lost my steak skewer. I got something so much better out of that encounter.
C: \*blushing\* You're so sappy....
R: Oh, you love it. Anyway, after he ran off, I went back to work over by the jousting area, and somehow ended up flirting with the sexiest knight in the world. Inari in a knight costume had me weak at the knees, and by the time our conversation came to an end - aka me being called over to a different area - I was one hundred percent ready to give her my number. \*sighs\* Too many cuties in one day.
C: And then came Sebastian.
R: That was probably the most intense encounter I had that day - outside of you three saving me from the assholes later on. I'd been feeling this weird feeling in my chest all day, and I definitely felt it with both Chris and Inari, but as the day went on, that feeling got way more intense, and I found myself drawn to the area underneath the jousting stands. By the evening it was much quieter around there, which in hindsight is very Seb. Anyway, I ended up there, and I found him. Now I know that the feeling was the soulmate bond trying to click in, but at the time I was really fascinated by this ridiculously shy, ridiculously hot guy who kept tripping over his own tongue. He was super adorable, and I really fucking liked him.
C: It was clear as day when he came to talk to us that he was already falling for the cute enby we'd all met that day. Heck, I was really into them as well, so it was mostly just persuading Nari to go for it and to potentially add a fourth to our little pack. The bond kicking in full force when we saved River was just extra validation for our feelings.
R: And I don't know what I'd do without them all. Seb's kinky as fuck which I really love, but he's also a cuddler and we spend at least half our time together in each other's laps. Chris is the sweetest, most understanding mate I could ever ask for, and he's always surprising me. Then there's Inari - my only female mate, and the only woman I ever want. Smart, sexy, and powerful to boot. We clash a lot, because we're both such strong personalities, but I love her with all my heart.
C: River's the one who gets freaky with Seb, which I'm thankful for. I mean, no shame to them, whatever floats your boat, but I'm so vanilla. The kinkiest thing I'm into is probably the rare time Inari wants to top - one of the benefits to having a female alpha. \*laughs\* That's probably part of why I connect so much more with Inari. We get each other in the same way that River and Sebastian connect. We all love each other intensely, but there's different dynamics within the relationship.
**Question for our non monogamous peeps - what are some of your favourite things in a potential partner? Male or female.**
J: Big tits. Other features are less important to me be it body type, hair color, eye color, or demeanor. Willing to have sex without whining about commitment would probably be the only trait I absolutely need.
A: I like people who know how to have fun. My day to day can get dull between photo shoots and prepping for law school, so I need partners who can help me get my mind off work. In terms of appearances, I love women with darker skin tones like Jayla, but I like my men from Korea. I can't tell you why; it's just how I've always been.
X: I'm kind of partial to guys, especially boys with curly hair and dimples. Something about corrupting the innocent looking ones gets me going. Women...I usually go for the wild girls whenever I can. They're amazing in bed.
Alyssa: At work, I never go for guys more than ten years my senior, or four years my junior, but in my personal life, I tend to gravitate towards men with a naughty streak to them. If I can imagine spending a whole weekend fucking you, it's a good match. Girls, I like defiling the innocent ones, but I've gotten to play with some more adventurous girls before, which is always fun. Looks wise....I like perky tits and curves on women, and on guys, just the right amount of muscle. Bulgy guys do absolutely nothing for me.
**Demon Roommates, want to share your thoughts on your human housemate?**
J: Well, I wanted to get a dog.
I: Do you have to be an idiot every hour of the day?
J: It was a joke! I'm sorry for having a sense of humor.
I: Are you going to answer seriously, or do I need to take away your turn?
J: He's fine. Fun once you can get him to crack a smile or two. And before you jump on me \*holds a hand up\* I know he had issues when he got here. That's why I said I was okay with helping fix them. I don't feel bad more mortals much anymore, but the ones that far gone are hard to ignore. It's hard to think how their own race can just let people get that bad. And that's coming from someone who's supposed to embody a fucking a sin of theirs!
O: He's got a good head on his shoulders. More of a feeler than the types of humans I typically work with, but I suppose none of us were really trying to corrupt him. Wasn't much left to corrupt when he showed up.
J: It was a lot like finding a scraggly cat on your porch, except ours could talk and needed more than a bath. Did kind of need a bath though.
I: Alright, you two are making this weird. He's a good guy and he deserves more than what life had given him. I am all for going out and wreaking a little havoc, but damn it, I refuse to be a heartless asshole. Humans think demons are bad? They need to look in a mirror. Anyone who can hurt another person so badly that they want to die deserves a fate worse than death. All Seb needed was a little TLC and it was like a whole other person was living with us. He can still be aggravating some days, but now he does it on purpose and, I have to say, I like that sass. He's never judged any of us for being demons, not even when we're in his face about it. And I know I speak for all of us when I say he's part of the family and we would break any bastard who tried to mess with him.
R: Oh, he's the cutest little human. Like, I've always loved the concept of humans - they're like adorable puppies, falling over their own feet- but Sebastian is the sweetest. It was a struggle getting him out of his own personal hell, but so worth it in the end.
The only shit thing would be whenever we have to go back for whatever reason, and I have to leave Seb for ages. For me, it only seems like a day away, but because of the epic fuckery that is time, it's like three weeks on Earth, which really sucks, you know? I hate having to leave him at all, especially after what happened. He's better now - so much better - but still, it hurts to leave.
L: It really fucking does. Like, don't tell anyone this, but I actually really miss Seb and the house whenever we have to take a trip down south. I miss the bitching that happens over breakfast, and spooking him when he comes out of the shower, and teasing him about being so sappy with River. Those two are really sappy and disgusting together.
A: And you've no idea how much of a struggle it's been to get that boy out of the teenage emo wardrobe. Thank god River's got low standards, because his clothes beforehand was doing him absolutely no favours.
R: Hey!
A: Please, even you have to admit, it wasn't good.
C: I think he looked okay.
R: You're literally the most heterosexual demon ever, what are you even saying?

Shep: Oh my gawd, James Avery is fucking gorgeous like I can’t even! And Robert Pattinson—my Twilight phase was strong, don’t judge—that man could literally rip my clothes off whenever he so chose to. The dreams I had about him and Zac Efron growing up...mmmh! Oh and more recently Jensen Ackles. He’s absolutely adorable! The Supernatural hype train hit me way late.
**Shep, what are your special things you do with each of your friend group? I.e stuff you do with each of them individually that you might not do with others?**
S: Yeah, we all tend to get into different groups to do stuff together unless we're doing a reunion or something. I spent the most time with Nari and Lexi, while Nari is always getting dragged into something with Lindsey and Amy, then Jayla and Lexi like going off to do muscle head stuff together.
But you asked for specifics, so lemme give you the dets. Nari and I share a taste in movies, so we're always binging or going out to the club to get turnt. While I'd rather watch something with a pretty man or pretty dresses, I'm Lexi's go-to for Disney nights since the others aren't as into that and I'm his cheerleader for all of his sports stuff--have been since high school--even better than his girlfriend. Facts. Lindsey drags me to all her obscure indie band concerts. Lies about the how hot the guys are half the time, but she's only ever looking at the girls on stage or in the crowd. Jayla is also into rom-coms, so she joins me and Inari some movies nights or I'll go see her latest paper presentations so we can get drinks after. Ugh, I always need a drink after those things, but it's worth it for the afterparty and seeing her get so excited over some flower petal. Amy, well, Amy is my wing woman. We go out and we're both getting laid that night. She finds me the prettiest guy in the room and then goes after whoever caught her eye that night. It's a good system.
Come to think of it, it's been a while since we hung out last...
**Lindsey, what’s the number one trait you look for in a partner? Could be physical or personality, whatever works.**
L: Oh, I don't know if what I can think of is that deep. I mean totes second to that, though I don't know if I would call it my number one. Trying to think of one rather than giving the whole description like I usually do is hard.
I guess I would say I want someone romantic. Like the bring me flowers on random days, bring home desserts on those days when everything is a little grey, and dance with me in the kitchen at midnight. But also like kiss in the middle of a department store so the entire world can see how much you love. Just all of that shit. I wouldn't want a relationship to last without those kinds of feelings. How a girl looks or choses to present herself is so much less important to me than that.
**Future!Shep - do Jared’s autistic quirks ever get in the way of things? Has there ever been a time when you’ve been unable to do something because of his neurodivergency?**
S: Oh, Jared's a sweetheart and his quirks have never been an issue. That's the wrong way to think about it. I had a learning curve when we first started dating, but I don't like framing it like I'm the victim who has to bring myself down to be with my partner. Everybody has quirks and differences. Neurodivergent people just have quirks that other people don't have.
My biggest challenge was learning to control my spontaneity. I grew up doing stuff whenever I felt like it and it just so happened that I got used to living life on edge. It's fun, but it's not the only way to live. I learned that Jared is happier and more comfortable when we plan things out in advance. Giving him advanced warning just gives him the opportunity to prepare and it doesn't hurt me at all. There are times when I mess up and forget, but I've been getting better and I think it leads to some very nice dates when we've got time to put a plan together and then spend a few days looking forward to it.
Other than that, it's about being attentive. If Jared wants to leave a place for whatever reason, we do. If he needs a break, we take one. If there's a thing he doesn't feel comfortable doing, we don't do it. Every relationship is like that. There are things we do specifically for me too. Like I don't particularly like getting messy, so we don't really do outdoor stuff all that often. I love holiday markets, so we go to so many of those when December rolls around.
And it's not like Jared isn't daddy material because he can't do everything. He's the perfect guy for me, no matter what we're doing.

**Lexi - have you ever considered parenting as an option for your future? Have you and your girlfriend ever talked about future children, and the various ways of obtaining those theoretical kids? I.e, would you rather adopt, or get a sperm donor, or other pathways?**
L: We haven't talked about specifics, but we do know that we both want kids.
Sh: I already volunteered! You guys can have as much of my sperm as you need. Just say the word.
L: Thanks, Shep, but we've actually talked about fostering and adopting. Tia has a little brother who grew up in the system before coming to her family, and she's always felt strongly about trying to help other teens who are in it. We both know that will take a tremendous amount of care and effort, but that's why we're waiting until we're both ready for the kinds of challenges we might face. And Tia's getting her masters in child psychology, so I'm hoping that will help us. It'll be a few years yet, but we're both excited about the possibilities.
Sh: Wait...does that mean you've proposed already?!
L: Not officially, but we talked through all of that. We've decided my surgery will come first and then we'll save up for a modest wedding. Once all of that's taken care of, we can start preparing to become foster parents. I know we sound boring, but we're just trying to be practical. \*laughs\*
Sh: \*hugs\* You're the sweetest guy I've ever met. Don't ever let anyone tell you you're boring.

**AU Lindsey, have you ever met any of the other elementals before Inari brought Chris around? If so, what do you think of them?**
L: Auntie Fiona, obviously. I’ve known her forever. Oh and I met the Fire heir once! It was only for like a few minutes once when Inari was FaceTiming with them, but they seemed super sweet. I’ve kind of hoped we’d get to hangout someday, but you can’t really demand that a world leader come hangout with you, you know. I almost met the Ice heir once, but he ended up having to cancel. Inari seemed pretty pissed about that one, but she didn’t want to talk about it.
**Shep (post-meeting Jared), do you ever want kids in future? What's your vision for that sort of future?**
S: Gawd, I dunno. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love kids and getting to hangout with all of my friends' kids is like the highlight of my life, but I'm awful with planning and shit. Like I literally find out about stuff and I do it which drives some of the people in my life crazy. I do it when it feels right. I guess I haven't really talked with Jared about having a family or what he would want. He's got a pretty big say in that obviously.
I think I could be good dad. Maybe I would need a little learning about discipline and shit, but I would give any kid of mine my heart and soul. I think Jared could be a good dad. He's got the know how for it and is like ninety percent more responsible than me, so he'd keep us all feed and clothed probably. If it felt right, I'd go get us some papers tomorrow and have us on the path as soon as possible.
You know maybe we should have this talk. Hey, bae!?

**Amy, has there ever been any partners who have come close to being the people you settle down with?**
A: One or two of my partners have had that longevity quality, though, unfortunately, life came between us before any real conversations could be had. Many people see my lifestyle as either temporary or abnormal. Those who I meet who agree to multiple dates typically only want to see me on a casual level or decide that they only way for a relationship to proceed is to force him into a monogamous commitment with themself. I have met other people in the poly community, some long term couples even, but those people I've only befriended, never clicked with on that deeper level. However, I am nothing if not persistent and I have intention of giving up.
**Shep, I'm assuming you've basically stalked River's socials now - which of their friends/coworkers/acquaintances do you think are the most attractive?**
S: They know sooo many pretty people, it's hard to pick which are the best. I've seen many of their co-workers before since I frequent Faultline, so in addition to the one I mentioned there's another guy who goes by Geco--who has the prettiest green eyes like I want to stare into them for hours every day--and another guy called Alec with piercings in all the right places. I've heard rumor of a few below that belt that make me very curious.
In terms of the new people I saw, there's this guy who shows up in a lot of their pictures who looks adorable and his photography skills are so on point. Unfortunately it looks like he's strictly a ladies' man, so no luck there. I saw one or two other people posing with them at what looked like a shelter of some sort as well, one of whom was a dark-skinned beauty with gorgeous dreads and what had to be a cute dad bod in the making. A lot of the other people they know looked fantastic as well from a fashion sense, but I'm strictly a dick guy so I usually only go for masculine people.
Oh and a little farther back there was a cute Asian guy who showed up in a lot of their group pictures. He looked so sweet and quiet, not unlike another person who recently came into their life. \*laughs\* I don't know if I could ever pick the best one, I just hope one or two of them are actually single.
**Question for all the cousins: how did your individual queer-realisations and coming outs go?**
S: Great! I mean I was one those kids everyone used to whisper to mom about saying how I was peculiar for a boy or how I needed a male influence in my life or how all that pink was gonna make me gay. Psyche! You could dress me in camouflage and the blood of your enemies and I’d still be gay! Mom was great about when I got to the part about wanting to kiss boys. She defended my self expression as a kid and my sexuality as an adult. Good thing too since most of my early boyfriends needed to come to my place for booty calls.
L: Yeah, we always kinda knew about Shep. It was alright for me. I never did much dating in high school but I figured out pretty quick that I liked girls. It wasn’t a big deal to me. Mom and dad always encouraged me to do what makes me happy. One day I figured out that one of my besties was more than a bestie, so I asked her out. I never even came out; I just brought her home and then never looked back.
Al: It was kinda awkward for me. Not at home. Uncle Ken was supportive from the start and Abby was supportive in her own way. It happened in the year after mom died. I just felt wrong. I thought it was grief but before long I figured out it was more than just mom being gone. I hated looking at myself. I hated being myself. Uncle Ken signed me up for therapy after I talked about the feeling with him. He had no idea what was going on so he sent me to someone he hoped would help. And they did. I came out a month or two after, and it lifted such a big weight off my shoulders.
It was hard in school though. Lots of other people knew me from before I came out and some decided to be dicks when I asked to go by different pronouns. More than them though were the teachers who got it wrong and never tried to fix their mistakes. Like other kids I expected because kids can be dicks, but constantly having someone in authority misgender me because it was too much of a bother to try harder? That fucking sucked.
J: Yeah, my moms lead by example so I came out ready to fight if needed. I refused to let anyone shame me or tell me who I could be with. one or two debates later and people learned not to mess with me.
I guess I figured it out after a high school party. I had gone out with a few guys, but nothing ever clicked. At that party, one of the girls had slipped me her number. Seeing as my dating life wasn’t going anywhere in particular, I gave her a call and like that I had a girlfriend. We still keep in touch now though we haven’t gone steady in a long time.

P!S: They were being a jackass. ...There might have been some nonverbal miscommunication, but they didn’t have to be such a bitch about it. I was staring, accidentally, but I never said anything and they came up acting like I had insulted them. They’re hot! I can admit that now. How was I not supposed to stare or know what to do with all those weird feelings? It was bullshit...
Though I do wonder if they ever had that moment of attraction before shit blew up between us. I felt it even if I refused to admit it. If things had gone differently that day we might have ended up in bed instead of in an arm wrestling competition.
M!S: Embarrassing but...good? I mean I looked like a jackass standing there with my mouth hanging open for like two minutes and then I proved that I don’t understand how flirting works. And the gender confusion only added the cherry on top though thankfully River missed that part.
But good because a hot as hell person was flirting with me. I don’t think I’m ugly or anything, but River is a solid ten and I’m probably an eight...or seven if you take personality into account. Nothing to write home about. River is...just gorgeous inside and out.
T!S (Roommate AU): Yeah, embarrassment is the theme of my life. First I almost punch them and then I was..me all night. They were a saint buying me drinks and keeping me in sight at all times despite only having met me like an hour before. They even stepped in when a bigger guy started getting a little too close on the dance floor. He wasn’t trying to be creepy, I was just an awkward as hell teenager who didn’t know how to tell someone to back off nicely.
I felt safe from the moment I met them. Safe and then depressed when I found out they had a boyfriend. I guess that all worked out in the end though. \*smiles\*
T!S (Powers AU): I mean we first met as kids. I don’t remember much from those days other than playing with everyone. It was the only time I felt like I had friends. Then it all stopped when my powers manifested and isa kept me from seeing the others anymore.
Meeting River again, like actually and not the across the room wave like you do at formal events, was...relief. I had been waiting for the worst to happen, but then they showed up and offered their support despite not knowing jackshit about my issues. It had been a long time since someone did that for me.
And, I mean, I kinda thought they were hot for a few years so...
**Modern!Seb, if you could give a piece of advice (or an opinion) to your other-universe-counterparts, what would that be?**
M!S: Uh...don't ask me for advice?
P!S: Good one.
M!S: Oh? Because you're so much smarter than me?
P!S: You don't see me hesitating over stupid shit, do you?
M!S: You've never been in a fucking relationship before! And Isa died when you were a kid! You don't know half the shit I've had to deal with.
P!S: I'm not the one asking others to solve my problems. I do what I want to do and accept the consequences.
M!S: Says the man still living in the closet.
P!S: Has anyone ever threatened to hang you for admitted you sleep with men?
M!S: A few have threatened me with knives.
E!S: Um, do either of you have like...actual advice about relationships. Or not acting awkward around people?
P!S: ...
M!S: Just...don't?
V!S: \*laughs\* All of you barely have two decades on you and it shows.
M!S: Oh good. Grandpa is here to give out sage advice.
V!S: Don't be pissy because I took the time to figure myself and by extend all of you out. Kid, do the hard inner work and everything else will follow. You're floundering because you're trying to jump in the deep end without learning how to swim. Same goes for the idiot this question was given to.
M!S: \*blushes\* Shut up!
V!S: The pirate's hiding most of his shit under a veneer of control, and once reality sets in, he'll see how much work he has left to do.
P!S: Fuck off.
V!S: I'd keep going, but the others haven't had a chance to actually feature in anything yet.
M!S: Neither have you, and yet here you are.
V!S: I exist as the answer to all of your collective stupidity. Someone needed to make sure there was something worthwhile to read here.

**Question for all the versions of River - how would you describe your first meeting with Seb? Good and the bad.**
P!River: Kind of embarrassing in hindsight, but like, it's been so long that he probably doesn't remember that it was me that approached him first and confronted him like a cabron. \*blushes\* In my defence though, do you know how hard it is to be queer on the seas? You gotta protect your back, especially from weirdly intense men staring at you in bars.
That said, I think I totally would have fucked him back then, if things had gone differently. We might not have fallen for each other - I think certain stars had to line up for that to happen - but we could have at least become allies sooner, and not spent all that time hating each other's guts.
M!River: Not to be too cheesy, but....it was kind of perfect. I'd been so dizzy and out of sorts since the breakup, but then I saw Sebastian, and how adorably flustered he was, and the flirting just came so naturally. I didn't have to fake being into someone, because I actually was for once. I just hope he didn't think I was being too creepy.....
No regrets though. Despite all the shit that's happened since - fuck, has it only been a week?! - I want to be with this amazing guy with the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. \*sighs dreamily\*
Roommate!River: Oh my goodness, he was so adorable when we first met. The cutest little baby gay, so nervous about being in a gay bar for the first time. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he stuck out like a sore thumb as being a baby gay. He just seemed so determined to not stand out, and that's cute. I just had to introduce myself.
My initial thought was about how cute he was, but then I felt bad about thinking that because he was seventeen and I had a serious boyfriend. That's when I put those thoughts into a box and filed them away, because Sebastian needed a friend more than anything else. That's changed now - we're together as well as being the best of friends - but it wasn't always like this.
Fire!River: Well, if you count us knowing each other as little kids, I suppose I thought he was super fun. Actually, when I got back home from being up the mountain, I found some old photos from when we were all kids, and Sebastian was so fucking cute as a little kid! The big eyes, and the hair falling everywhere.....too cute! Ugh, our kids would be so pretty, just from his genetics.

E: I...I don't know. Everything in my life turned upside down there for a few months. Being on the road and traveling has always been such a big part of myself, imagining life in one place is difficult. Imagining a life with another person is even more difficult.
God, how I met Ava wasn't what anyone would call regular. I talked with Mira so many times about whether I was doing anything unseemly wanting to date the mother of my nephew's partner. I still don't know the answer to that and frankly, I'm afraid to ask more people. I suppose that's why I settled for talking with River before I said anything. Ava's a remarkable woman and beautiful and...in need of time to let this thing between us grow. She left a terrible situation and I would hate to push her before she had time to process. That's why I was happy to be her friend for a time. Someone to help her feel safe while she recovered.
But thinking of the future...I suppose I'll work on getting my citizenship to live in America. Ava only has River and I know she adores their little ones. Plenty of my own relatives live in Los Angeles now, so I don't mind the moving. The little ones have all taken to calling me grandpa already. \*laughs\* Not something I ever thought I'd experience. I won't stop writing. I'll need to find a few magazine to write for, or maybe a newspaper, but I'll provide. Whether Ava wants to work or not is a choice I'd like to give her. It's all complicated and messy, but meeting her was what made me think that my illness wasn't all for nothing. If it slowed me down long enough to meet her, it was worth the pain.
**Mama Fuentes, let's hear from you - did you ever think Jasso would ever settle down with anyone? Or were your hopes just always incredibly low when it came to him?**
MF: I stopped having hope for both those boys when they hit high school. Jasso never brought home girls more than once and Oriel decided he wanted nothing to do with any of them. I know that age can bring changes, but those boys are both stubborn like their Papa, God rest his soul. Once their minds are made up, you'll have an easier time telling the sun to stop shining.
Alyssa is a nice girl even if Jasso refuses to have a serious relationship with her. It's good to know someone is there to look after him once I'm gone, even if I won't get any grandchildren. Someone needs to see my boys through their old age. I worried for many years I'd have to ask one of their cousins to look after them. Who else would be sure they're both eating and dressing properly? I'm only happy neither of those boys took after their father and his preference for dangerous work. My poor heart couldn't take that.
**Mira of the future, care to share a cute memory with your child-in-law or their mother?**
M: Oh, I would say those are two different memories. Let me think. There was one afternoon that River came over with little Kaisa. She was only two or so at the time, and I decided to start a painting of her. Out came the hot chocolate and biscuits while River held Kaisa on their lap and I painted. It was a lovely chat and it warmed my heart to see how River fussed over their little one. She fell asleep once she had finished her snack which gave me more than enough time to block out the rough start of my painting which would later be a present on her third birthday. What I loved most was hearing River go on about how smart Kaisa and how she had already picked up so many words in both Spanish and Finnish in addition to her English. I knew that sense of pride well. I still feel it whenever I talk about any of my children. It was a simple afternoon, but those are the best in my opinion.
Ava and I have gotten into the habit of having tea together throughout the week. Since she and my brother chose to move in together, it's be a joy to visit them both. I can remember one visit when we decided take a walk to a nearby park. It was a beautiful day and we spent hours strolling about, getting some ice cream, and watching some ducks in a pond. We chatted about everything we could thing of and I enjoyed every minute of it. Having a close friend again after so many years of being alone makes every moment like that special.
**Fiona, how did your first kiss with Astrid come about?**

Fiona: As Astrid will happily tell you, it took her a few attempts get the message across to me that we were more than friends. \*laughs\* After she helped me come to terms with my sexuality not being so straight as I had thought it was, she continually invited me out to dinner and other events that any sane person would recognize as a date instantly. I was so used to seeing her as a friend that I never picked up on her hints until this one night out at a wonderful Korean restaurant, she asked me over dessert what I thought of our relationship. We sat there talking until the waiters had to kick us out to close, and finally on our walk home along the bridge we had crossed over so many times together, she stopped me for a kiss. It took us some time to do the rest, but that kiss felt like the start of something new, something very real. We still visit that same spot on the bridge every year for our anniversary.
**Leevi - what exactly is it about River that unnerves you so much?**
What?! I’m not...it’s not that I... They’re fine. I don’t have any problems with them. I...just...don’t want to say the wrong things like and...they’re really, really...upfront? L-like not in bad way, just, like, a lot.
But it’s fine! They should do them and all that. It’s just...better if I’m not close enough to run my big fat mouth. For everyone. So...I’m going to go now…
**Question for Mira - what’s your sweetest memory of Seb as a child?**
Mira: Oh, he's too little to remember this, but when Leevi had only just been born, but when I kept up with my painting, he used to sit in my lap and watch me pain for hours. He never made a fuss, just sat there entranced by the brush on the canvas. One day I had taken out a new canvas and before I could start, he reached for the brush. I wanted to encourage him to explore, so I let him have the brush and pick a color. He dragged it through the red and brown, making a few muddled strokes on the canvas before he handed it back to me. \*smiles\* It became our little game; he picked a color and I made a picture for him. When Taika came, I never had the time to paint, but I always made an effort to look over his artwork when he brought it home. I just knew he would grow up to be a great artist.
**Bianca - did the age gap between Chris and Calliope make it hard for them to get along growing up?**
B: There wasn’t much fighting other than the usual sibling rivalry. Calliope enjoys teasing her brother, and he gets very frustrated by it, which is usually what starts their bickering. \*rolls eyes\* It got more frequent when they both became teenagers, but thankfully now they’re on opposite sides of the country, which helps the arguments.
R: Until they start bickering again and drag us into it via text.
B: Ugh, I have no patience for either of them in those moments. I love them both dearly, but they have their moments of being a dolor en el culo.\*
**Nicolas, my dude, I feel like we never to hear from you when you're not having your life turned upside down. Tell us a fun fact about you.**
N: A question....for me? Oh, this is unexpected. Well, I don't think there's that much to say. I'm not a very interesting person - not like River, for instance. They're all kinds of fun, I'm just sort of boring, I guess. Erm....I do Pilates twice a week? Does that count as a fun thing?
R: He's being so modest. He's actually a pretty interesting guy. Did you know he got accepted into Brown, Dartmouth, and Harvard? Super smarty-pants, but he didn't want to go so far from home, so he just went to UCLA. \*beams\* Not only that, but he's also a really great writer, and actually got published in some fancy newspaper once upon a time. Like, we're not together any more, and I'm really happy with Seb, but I can still recognise how awesome Nicolas is. He's going to make some other guy very happy.
N: \*blushing furiously\*
**Modern!Nea, what are some things you know about your siblings that they don't know you know?**
N: More than anyone of them want to know. Leevi used to watch so much anime. Specifically magical girl shows. Seb shoplifted and still does on occasion. I don’t think he’s ever paid for gum. Taika has a weird obsession with sour candy and she’ll buys bags if it after Halloween. Not to mention she stalks all her exes on Facebook. Like religiously.
T: I hate you.
N: Not my fault your walls are so thin.
**Question for....all three Tuisku siblings: what do you think of River, and Seb's relationship with them? Has there ever been anything you've been concerned about? Or any other worries or issues?**
T: They're so cute together! Like I have never seen someone make Seb smile so much. He totally tries to hide it, but when he thinks no one's looking, he gets the dopiest look on his face. \*squeals\*
L: \*Covers ears\* Hei, Taika, use human noises.
T: Ass. \*sticks her tongue out\* What about you? You seemed freaked out at first.
L: I wasn't...not in that way. Seb had never brought anyone home before. I thought it would be a little much to expect the first one to stick, so I wasn't worried about getting comfortable at first.
T: Stupid. Seb's dated plenty of guys before he met River. He just never brought them home, and can you blame him? Isa isn't the most understanding person. If I ever had a girlfriend, I'd never want to bring her home. Besides, you were just saying that because you didn't know how to act around them.
L: They're really enthusiastic about like everything. You know how hard it is to figure out your brother's new...fuck, what's it called...datemate when it seems like they're flirting with you?!
N: I was worried at first.
T: Really? Miss All Seeing didn't figure it out when she met them?
N: It's like Leevi said, they're were being flirty with him. That first time we went out with them without Seb they got flirty with one of the waitresses. I looked on their socials and they were flirting with friends on there. I didn't want them fucking around with my brother.
T: Why didn't you say anything?
N: You learn more from watching. I kept an eye on them and their socials. If they ever stepped out of line Seb would know right away and he would have support when it happened. But they turned out to be pretty cool, so it worked out.
T: Was I the only one excited to meet them?
L: The rest of us were just normal levels of excited, not cracked out puppy with firecracker. Ouch! \*rans away with Taika following\*
N: They've got a good thing going, and so long as River doesn't ruin it, I'll never have to hide a body.
**Mikael, what in your opinion went wrong between you and Seb? (I mean, obviously you were the thing that went wrong but I want to know your biased opinion).**
M: And I’m the biased one? Please.
What went wrong was that he stopped caring. Every time we went somewhere, he’d mope in a corner or follow me around like a pissed off bitch all because I wanted to fun with my boyfriend. The audacity. And that was when he wasn’t blowing me off. So, yes, I started talking with other people and found someone who actually wanted to be with me. Someone who enjoyed my company. I would have broken it off with him, but I was worried something like that would make him hang himself or make him get violent with me. Until you’ve seen him in a mood, you have no right to judge me. He can be scary when he starts yelling, don’t let him fool you with whatever bullshit he says about not being that type of guy. Everyone says that until they feel they’ve been pushed too far. They’re always wrong.
**Mikael - what do you think of River?**
M: Not bad for a transvestite. They’ve got a lot of pretty qualities and the perfect pouty lips. I bet they would look so pretty tied up and teary-eyed, begging for release while I took them to that edge again and again. Just thinking about what they would do if I left them like that for a while night...
And controlling them outside of the bedroom would be a simple task. They’re easy to read, easy to please. Appealing to their need for attention would have them wrapped around my finger in very little time. It’s rather adorable how gullible they are. They would do whatever I wanted with a smile after a few compliments and well placed observations. If it weren’t for certain complications, I’d be tempted to keep them around as side distraction for those days with when I miss fucking someone with a dick.
**Taika, have you ever tried to matchmake your brother after he came out?**
T: ...A few times. My brother is so sweet, but also kind of shy and I knew he was a little freaked out about the gay thing so I kind of kept an eye out.
He was more receptive in high school. The older he got, the less he wanted to hear about the guys from my dance group or the classmates I knew who had just come out. Embarrassing as it is, I kinda forgot being gay doesn't becoming your defining characteristic. You still have preferences and different tastes. I was still pretty young and new to sexuality myself, so really anyone who told me they were gay got brought up to him. I'm guessing that's why he stopped listening to me. Since then I have tried harder to look for him and not just hear the word, though it doesn't seems like I'll need to worry now! I only talked to River for a little bit, but they seemed so nice and sweet, and they had Seb blushing. Like legit blushing! I can't tell you when I saw that last.
But yeah, I'm not a great matchmaker.
**Taika, if you had met River before, would you have thought to pair them with Seb?**
T: I think so. I've only seen them interact a little, so I don't know a lot about how things are going between them, but it seems like River makes him happy. They're a lot like Shep. I only met him once or twice--and only found out they were a thing after--but that energy and positivity are really good for Seb. Someone who can remind him to have fun and not be so glum all the time. He's too serious for his own good.
**Future!Mira - what do you think of your child-in-law, and have you had any special moments with them since they started dating your son?**
M: Oh, they're darling! It took time for me to understand everything about them, but they have been so patient with me and so very polite. I never thought my gruff boy would find someone so sweet. Honestly, if you had seen that boy in high school, you would have thought he would have sooner found a bank robber to be with. River ended many sleepless nights for me. \*laughs\*
We had have a few special moments together. I...many truths came to light after River entered our family. Truths that we had all known about for years and yet it took an outside perspective to show us all how bad it had gotten. The night after I left my husband and Sebastian, I remember sitting in the kitchen late that night. I was frightened. For the first time in so many long years, I was alone and the future seemed so uncertain. I did not know if I should go home to my brother or if I should find work and stay near my children or who I was outside of being my husband's wife. It had been my identity since I first met him as a student at the university. I think I had been sitting there staring down at my coffee until I noticed many minutes later that they had taken the chair next to me. We talked after that, but it was not the conversation that mattered. It was the companionship. A small moment that allowed me to remember what it felt like to be a person again.
And now they have a family of their own, and I can rest easy knowing they are both so very happy.
 **Future!Ava, we all know your son-in-law is a little rough around the edges, but have you two bonded at all since you reconnected with River?**
A: Oh, I don't think he's all that rough. He's been so sweet with me, despite all that my....ex-husband has done and said. Sebastian has never held that against me, and I appreciate that more than he knows. Not to mention, he makes my River so happy, and how can I not love someone who does that?

J: It's...difficult. I love Shepard with all my heart, and I know he loves me in spite of my failings, but that makes it all the worse when we can't do something because of how my brain is. He wants to go to a concert, and I have to say no because that's guaranteed to send me into sensory overload. Heck, even when he turns up for a surprise visit, it throws me for a loop because it wasn't planned and I don't know how to rearrange my thought processes and my plans around this new thing.
There's so much guilt there because I know Shep could do so much better. Not that I'm not so grateful for him, because I absolutely am, but there's always going to be this worry that I'm too much. I've always had that worry with everyone in my life. I wasn't an easy child to raise, I know that, and god bless my mum for dealing with all of it as well as my sisters.
I'm a neat freak, I info dump over people who likely have no interest in hearing what I have to say, I'm a stickler for being early for things and end up spiralling if I'm going to be late. I hate eye contact with people, I stim like crazy when I'm stressed out, and my sleeping schedule's all out of wack just constantly. These things can't make me the world's best boyfriend, but I try my best in the ways I can, and I can only hope Shep doesn't hold my bad parts against me.

**Georgie, how did you and Charlie meet?**
C: Oh, I want to tell this story!
G: Hey, she asked me! Anyway, Chaz and I met when we were in boarding school together. My dad sent me away to this fancy all-girls school to become a good girl. \*eyes rolling\* We weren't in the same dorm, but we had like most of our classes together, I think. Anyway, I got put into detention one day for getting caught sneaking out-
C: What did you expect? Your idea of sneaking is wearing your Doc Martens.
G: Shut it. So, I was in detention for that, and I'm bored out of my mind, but then in walks this nutcase, who had gotten detention for...something, I can't remember what. Literally nobody else was in the room with us, bar the teacher who fell asleep at her desk half an hour in. By the time we got out of that room, we were tight, and we've been friends ever since.
C: Even when she got kicked out of school for Frenching the headmistress' daughter.
G: Totally worth it.
**London crew, what queer media representation spoke to you the most when you saw it? Whether that be a tv character, an actor, anything like that.**
G: Okay, so this is going to sound super weird but the first time I ever saw a lesbian on tv was this super old show on MTV - I don't know if it was like a gay spin-off of a straight version, or what, but the show was called Next, and some episodes had gay people in it. It was really cheesy and cringe-worthy, but I took in those episodes like water. It was seeing myself on tv for the first time, even if that isn't what made me recognise my own gayness.
C: You mean you didn't realise from birth you were a raging dyke? \*snickers\*
G: Hey, fuck off. What's yours?
C: \*beams\* Raphael Santiago in the Shadowhunter Chronicles. He gets asked in one book what his sexuality is, and he responds with, "Not interested." I love that! Like, obviously it's not a direct parallel to me - I'm not a Hispanic vampire dude - but that made me laugh, because so true. Jared, what about you?
J: Most recently? Well...there's this really cute film on Netflix, and it's about a queer Asian girl who has to set a guy up with the girl she has a crush on, it's really adorable, and bittersweet. I was literally sobbing by the end of it. \*blushes\* It's just super rare to see anything with queer Asian characters as the leads, so I liked that.

**Supernatural!London crew, did you have any concerns about River dating someone several hundred years old than them?**

C: Eh, I wasn't too worried. If he's lived this long, he must have pretty good self-preservation skills, so he'll know not to piss off River or their friends. \*grins\*
G: Charlie! That's surprisingly dark of you...I approve. I had a few reservations, but that's mostly because he's a vampire, and those guys are mostly dicks. Ugh, men. Why anyone would date any man is beyond me-
J: Georgie...
G: Fine, I'm being nice. \*sticks tongue out\* What about you? You can't have been thrilled when Riv announced they were dating and living with a vamp.
J: Well, no. I haven't had good experiences with vampires in the past, so it freaked me out a lot that someone I care about was getting involved with one, but I got over that! River introduced me to Sebastian, and I've gotten to know him better, and I can tell he's a good person and that he cares about River just as much, if not more, than we do.
C: Exactly! And besides, Geo, if they hadn't met and got with Sebastian, you wouldn't have met his cute vampire cousin....
G: Why did I know you'd bring that one up?!

## Next Generation

* (Selene)
* (Raphael)
* (Pietro)
* (Kaisa)
* (Xio)
* (Wes)
* (Aleski)
* (Archie)
* (Jae)
* (Asha)
* (Adrien)
* (Izzy)
* (Groups)

S: I mean Raph and his dad aren't what you'd call the traditional kind of vamps. Like I love him to pieces and I'm all for his goals to live a non-human blood drinking life, but other than the blood and sort of having a weird sleep schedule, he's pretty chill.
Now his empath side can be lead to some cute stuff. Like he always knows what my mood is the second I walk in the door. Like he'd already been an attentive partner without that, but with that level of knowing, he's always ready to help me feel better and that helps us both because he can feed off my good feels when everything is good. Living on our own now means that it's a lot easier to foster that safe and happy environment that helps Raph to thrive. The house we grew up in, while wonderful in so many ways, is hard to predict as a bag of pissed off cats. You can't keep that energy stable for anything. With it just being the two of us, things just go smoother.
The food situation is better too. I can't count the number of times Raph almost drank something meant for his dad or Uncle Seb and almost passed out. He's just so sweet, you can't help but want to protect him from all that.
**Question for Selene (in her late teens or early adulthood): Have you ever delved into some sexy nerd roleplay in the bedroom? And if not, would you want to do it and which fictional characters would you play?**
Selene: Only like the one time. I met this guy at a convention who wasn't a total loss who had on a pretty convincing Garrus cosplay, so when we met up after, we had a little fun being Commander Shepard and Garrus on their first date. It was alright, but didn't last too long since costumes had to come off. When he said something about being Princess Leia and Jabba next times, I left without leaving my number.
**Selene, are any of your DnD characters based on real people in your life?**
S: Eh, not really. I'm not that into being creative, but when I make up DnD characters, I like to base them off movie characters or just like my ideal guy. You could probably connect a few of them to people I know. Like the dwarf barbarian I play kind of reminds me of Kaisa. If there's a throwdown about to happen, my dwarf is so there. I've also got a bard elf that probably resembles Pietro if he was more proactive in getting people to sleep with him. \*laughs\* It's probably better that he's not like that though. Tio River already seems like they're just waiting for an excuse to send him packing.
**Selene, what's your relationship with your parents been like growing up? I.e, with your mother, your step dad, half-brother, and even your bio dad?**
S: It's been...complicated. Complicated fun times for everyone.
It wasn't a big deal when I was a baby. I don't think I ever felt abandoned, not with all of Mamma's friends around. Every single one of them was there for as long as I can remember and they always made me feel special. And then there was Raphael and his parents who basically made me feel like an unofficial daughter as soon as Raphael started following me around.
I was still pretty young when Mamma and Blaise got together. It was alright. I'm sure I threw a few temper tantrums--setä Seb said I used to do that a lot--but Blaise seemed to know how important it was to win my approval, so he used to suck up to me whenever he had the chance. We...I guess things did got a little more parental between us the older I got. I...shit, this is weird to say out loud. I guess...he makes it feel less like I didn't have a dad. If that makes sense.
Wes was someone I had no desire to meet before he was born and even after it took awhile before I was okay with him. \*Laughs\* I guess I was pretty jealous of all the attention he got. That actually felt pretty shitty. It already felt like Blaise was part of a new life Mamma was building for herself, one that I didn't know how to fit into, but when Wes came along it felt like he was all Blaise and Mamma could think about. I suppose that's why I ran I tried to run away. Not far. I think I ended up at tio Chris and täti Inari's apartment which is pretty far by little kid standards, but only like down the street in reality. It was enough to get me in trouble for leaving without telling anyone. They both tried harder to include me after that and I eventually got the hang of that older sister thing. Wes can be annoying some days, but I think that's normal when it comes to little brothers. I do my best to keep an eye on him now the same way I keep an eye on Kaisa. I can't leave the poor tyke all on his lonesome, can I?
Mamma... It depends on the day with her. She had me when she was pretty young, so I get that she didn't make the best choices and she tried her best, but there's just stuff that went down and I guess I'm still processing it. It's not like we're not talking or I avoid her. She tried and she was there. Part of me knows I have to appreciate that, but it not the easiest thing to do some days. But, hey, name me one person who isn't going to therapy because of their parents' best intentions. \*gives finger guns\*
Stuff between me and pabbi is still pretty fresh so I guess I would describe that as civil. I can't really blame him for not being there when he had no idea I existed. Ha, funny considering how many times I cried when I was younger because I thought he didn't love me.
Um, wow, this is getting kind of deep. I'm just gonna go now.
**Selene, is there any benefits to having such a young mother? Especially one as punk as Leena is?**

S: Me and my mum don't really share a style, so her being punk isn't really a bonus. I do nerdy and girly, neither of which is really my mum.
I don't know about benefits from that specifically. I guess mum tries hard, maybe more than older parents. She's younger than most other people, but it's not like she treated me like a friend or a sister growing up. I'm her kid. We get on each other's nerves and we would regardless of when I came along. Honestly, her being young probably leads to more bothers than anything and I just try not to think about that stuff. Being the accident meant there was a lot of change growing up. I love my extended family, but it wasn't until I was in grade school that I had anything resembling a stable family structure. That was when Blaise came to California and married mum.

* sighs\* It's complicated, alright? I'm still working on a lot of it. I had a happy childhood with a few bumps, but I don't think my mum being older or younger would have changed my experience. It didn't seem like it did once Wes came along.

**Selene, what are some of your boyfriend's best and worst quirks?**
S: I subscribe to a bad news before good policy, so worst is probably how catty he can get about wardrobe. Like I appreciate his love for clothes, but, fuck, going clothes shopping with the man is impossible. Nothing I pick out is as good as what he picks out. Ugh, I have learned never to shop for myself when we’re out together.

R: Papa. If he's ever feeling sad, it just takes a cuddle to make him feel better. Oh, and Selene as well. Kaisa's good to cuddle with too, but she's a little rough with tackling hugs. Sel's just soft and perfect, and we cuddle so much. Even if we're just watching a movie together, or just sitting in the car, it feels good to snuggle up to her.
**Raphael, what was it like befriending Pietro when you got to college?**
R: Oh, it was such a welcome surprise. I....only really knew Selene my first year at uni, and she was away a lot of the time with her own classes and her other friends, so I felt ridiculously out of place. That's why meeting Pietro in second year was like a blessing.
We have our love of theatre in common, among other things, and he's real nice. Sort of quiet, which I like. Like, he's not shy or anything, but he's a lot more chill than either of my girl friends, and he's helped me make some other friends in the theatre group.
**Raph, what is your relationship with your sister like?**
R: Well, we were close when Xio was little. She used to take fencing classes - those stopped when she started middle school - and I would go and see all of her matches with Papa and Mami, cheering her on just like she would for anything I was a part of. Not that I got on stage or in front of a crowd very often. \*shudders\* But she was the first one I told I'm ace, even if she didn't really understand the term at the time.

P: Okay...none of them are listening, right?
Well, perhaps it is better to say that some of these things bother me more than annoy me. River is a good person, but it was difficult to get to know them. They can be very hostile if they think there's even a chance that you want to date one of their children. It makes me wish I had come as a friend before I came as a crush, though it wasn't my decision to appear as such the first time that we met. It was that jumping to conclusions that kept me from getting to know them in any real way until after Kaisa and I had broken up.
Yet when I did get to know them, I saw a very kind person who cared for me despite not being a member of their family. I no longer had to envy those other people I saw them helping through their coffeeshop. While I never stayed with them, they made sure to invite me to many of their family gatherings. It was such a nice feeling to have someone there on Christmas or Easter rather than spending it alone in my dorm room.
Sebastian was just as hostile and there was a time earlier in my relationship with Kaisa that he tried to talk her out of dating me. That was disheartening. I had only met him once or twice before then, but even I could see how happy his relationship made him feel. I wanted that feeling, that security, and yet he chose to see me as some kind of enemy.
That said, he was also the one who stood up for me when he learned more about me. In the blink of an eye, he stopped treating me like some threat and started asking how I was and if I had everything that I needed for school. It was a nice moment. I almost didn't know how to react. Since then the both of them have become like parents to me. It has been more than I ever hoped to ask for. Their generosity is almost too much to be real and yet it is a dream I have yet to wake up from.
The twins were more welcoming than their parents and both of them were so sweet. Izzy can be devious when she wishes to be. I always felt bad when she and Kaisa argued. Having no siblings of my own, I suppose I never knew how vicious siblings could be with each other. She and Kaisa always seemed to make up even after their worse fights, so I suppose it's not my place to judge. I do wish they would get along better though.
Even so, Izzy is a very brave and clever girl. It me until my freshman year to understand my sexuality and yet Izzy seemed to be comfortable in her own skin from the moment that puberty hit for her. That's an admirable quality and one that will get her far in life. Whatever she chooses to do for her career, I know she will excel at it.
Adrien is easily the most sensitive one among all the siblings. He takes everything said very personally which can make it difficult to navigate a conversation with him before you understand that. It doesn't help that he'll go running to River as soon as he feels upset which can lead to more complications. He's gotten better the older he's gotten, but believe those early days were like stepping around landmines.
However, he is also very passionate and lovable once he's come out of his shell. Kaisa tells me that he used to be a very outgoing child and I can see that returning with age. The more confidence he gains, the less he hides that side of himself and gets out there into the world. He still relies on Izzy a fair amount, but I know that he'll come into his own one of these days. And when he does he'll make quite the impact.
Which leaves the one that you've no doubt been waiting for. Yes, Kaisa and I have our issues. She shares her father's ability to get caught up in her own head though she's not so quiet about it. When Kaisa's upset, she lets everyone know. Learning how to talk out those moments rather than both of us getting upset with each other has been one of the bigger challenges of our relationship, but we've made some good progress. I think we are both learning to trust each other more and more. We've both had reasons to struggle with trust which is why it is so important for us to communicate with issues come up. I've had to do the brunt of that work, but Kaisa is getting better and so am I.
I don't know if I can pick her best part. I love all of her, flaws and good points. Perhaps...I would say her dedication to her friend, her family, her work, her life. All squabbles aside, I know Kaisa would do anything for her family and even more so for her friends. That love is deeper than words can cover. Even as she reached out to her birth parents, I knew her love remained for the family who raised her. And now she has two sets of parents who care for her deeply. When that love came back to me and we discovered that our bond had not broken, I was overjoyed. It felt like I had actually found that true love I saw in her parents. My life could be different with her at my side.
Well, I don't know if that was what you wanted to hear, but that was my best attempt to answer truthfully. But...you won't tell any of them what I said, right?

**Pietro, what’s it like dating Kaisa? Especially with the age gap and her...protective parents.**
P: Terrifying at first. Even when we had only become friends, her parents watched me like a jealous housewife. I don’t know if she had said to them she fancied me or if all the men in her life get the same treatment, but for many weeks I thought I would never have their trust. However, the more we hung out, the more her parents seemed to accept me. I think our break helped them to see I liked her for more than her body.
The age difference...it took some time to adjust. I have never said no to a date without good reason and I felt chemistry with Kaisa despite our ages. The most difficult part was leaving her room to continue to grow, I think. I wanted to commit and settle down, but she had life to experience. Knowing that line, when to let her have room and when to hold her accountable, was hard. But the older we get, the less our age matters. We love and support each other and that is what matters to me.
**Pietro, how would you describe your quest in winning over your girlfriend's protective parents? And which one of them warmed to you first?**
P: A struggle. I knew there would be some resistance with her being eighteen and me being two years into uni, but the death glares I got during that meeting made me want to go join the priesthood and forgo dating ever again.
It...was a weird road from there. Stuff happened in my personal life and then Kaisa decided she wanted to try seeing other people so life got pretty crappy for a week. I happened to run into her dad during that time; Sebastian. I don’t know how he knew, but he took one look at me and took me back to their house and just talked to me. Embarrassing as it was, I spill my guts like man about to walk into death row. He gives off an oddly comforting vibe for a man covered in tattoos who routinely glare at people.
After that day, we were chill, but it took longer with her Papi. I think we’re too similar, or that’s what Sebastian told me, so we had trouble really listening to each other. But I’m guessing he put in a good word for me because the next thing I knew, River would invite me over for dinner randomly and started talking all the musicals they loved. I went with it and we’ve been chill every since. When Kaisa and I got back together, I made sure to talk with both of them to ease any fears about it. I had no desire to repeat that first cold reception. Those two are absolutely terrifying if they don’t like you.
**Siren!Pietro, did you ever have any worries that you had accidentally seduced Kaisa with your siren voice, or did you know from the beginning that you were doing it intentionally and without powers?**
P: I'm always worried about that. I know theortically I have control over my abilities, but there's always that nagging doubt that people only like being around me because I attract people. Like if I was a human then people wouldn't want to be near me...
That...um...that's a whole topic for another time. I think it took Kaisa reassuring me about twelve dozen times on our first date that she was thinking straight and possibly a conversation with her uncle about magical immunity before I relaxed. I've never intentionally done any kind of seducing with my abilities. Shit like that is why it's hard for sirens to date because others have given us a bad name. I would never use my abilities that way, and I would never let someone else try to.

K: Oh, where do I even start? First of all, he's super romantic. Like, I'll come back from a long workout session, and find a beautiful single rose waiting for me that he's sent because he was thinking of me. \*beams\* Which is so much cuter than a whole bouquet of flowers, in my opinion. Then there's all the times he surprises me with a visit down, and we spend all weekend riding the Ferris Wheel at Santa Monica beach and making out in my room.
But then there's just how good in bed he is. Like, Papi would freak if they found out 'Tro and I have slept together, but he's so fucking good, I can't even. He made our first time proper romantic, with candles and stuff when I went to UCLA to visit Raph and Selene and I stayed in his dorm, but one of the best memories I have is when we hooked up in the back of the drama theatre. \*giggles\*
**Kaisa, what's your ideal way to spend a rainy day?**
K: That absolutely depends on how bad it's raining. If it's like a hurricane, I'll stay home and have a movie day with Isa - having a dad who can work from home if he wants is pretty cool - but if it's only like a light drizzle, I'll probably go out for a run. Aleski's weirdly into running in the rain, so we usually go for runs together, rain or shine. But, I mean, it's always really cool to get to have a movie day with Isa, especially when we get to sit on the sofa together, and I can rest against him as he draws.
**Kaisa, what are the best, and most annoying, parts of each member of your family?**
K: My family is all kinds of crazy - the good and the bad. I love them all to death.....sometimes literally. Papi and I have always had a weird relationship - I gravitate more towards Isa, and that annoys them, which then gets on my nerves. Ugh, it's an endless cycle of dramatics, and it annoys me so much. Isa says it's because we're so alike, and I guess now I'm older I can see some similarities but we're not that similar. Papi's such a fucking drama queen, and I can't deal with those dramatics most of the time. Still, they're one of the most reliable people I've ever known, and they've got a massive heart that everyone gets to share in, and I can't fault them for that. Everyone gets that love - I like that.
I'm so close to Isa though. The list of things I love about him is astronomical, so I'm going to have to narrow it down to....his unwavering acceptance. When I decided I wanted to do wrestling, he was the one who signed me up for classes. When the twins came out, both times, he was so good about it. He's so understanding, and it's amazing. Although, if I had to choose a no-no, he's also kind of a pushover. Papi or the twins just need to bat their eyes at him, and he's swayed. \*rolls eyes\* He could do with a little more of that so-called bite he's so proud of.
The twins....are little weirdos the both of them, but they're adorable weirdos, so it's okay. \*laughs\* Adrien's really overly self-conscious about...well, everything, which is irritating sometimes, but he's also got some sick makeup skills that even I'm jealous of, and he has an eye for beauty in all it's forms. He's like tío Chris in that aspect.
Now, Izzy is by far the most masculine out of all of us. When she was younger, I had some suspicions that maybe she was a trans guy, but she's just a little adorable butch who doesn't let her disability ruin anything about her life. Everything is up for grabs, as far as she's concerned, and that's awesome. That said, I really hate walking in on her and whatever girl she's fucking at the time. The girl does not know how to use a closed door! Like, I have absolutely no desire to walk in on her going down on her girlfriend, or to see her strap-ons lying around the house. \*wrinkles nose\*
**Kaisa, did you ever picture yourself falling for a romantic like your papi?**
K: I never thought I'd find the sort of relationship my parents have, let alone someone as sweet and romantic as Pietro is. It's obviously good to see that sort of relationship, but it's also sort of disheartening to see growing up, because how could anything compare to that? Meeting 'Tro was the start of something special though, and I can't see myself with anyone else. \*beams\* Besides, Isa's totally just as romantic as Papi, he just likes to try and hide it.
**College AU! Kaisa, what was it like growing up with two trans parents? Was there ever a time when you struggled to understand your parents or faced issues at school?**
K: Yeah, being the kid of two trans people isn't exactly going to make you popular in school. Try being six and proudly proclaiming to your class that you came out of your daddy's tummy? \*winces\* The bullying got so bad that eventually Papi and Isa just moved me to another school. After that I just kept it to myself. Sure, there was nothing I could do to hide Papi's...eccentricities, but as far as anyone outside of my immediate friend group knows, Isa's just my father, and there's nothing else there.

X: A lot of them have to do with safe sex, so I don’t know if that’ll be all that interesting. Unless you want a sex ed lecture. It’s also a lot common sense stuff like vetting partners before meeting with them in private, always be aware of physical limits, don’t get drunk around people you don’t know, consent at all times, the basics. Mama wasn’t going to teach me anything beyond don’t have sex, so I had to get it all from someone.
I’m grateful to them for it. Well, Alyssa and Jasso that is. I’ve never really met Amy more than once. But they did help me avoid a lot of bad situations which I probably would have gotten into if I went in blind. I have no desire for my life to follow the same trajectory as theirs—just any ounce of romance, gag me—but it’s good to know the safety stuff and see that other people have successfully lived their lives without succumbing to the social pressures of our monogamous culture. It gives me some hope that people will keep off my dick in the future when more people start living like I do.
**Xio, which of your guy friends is your favourite? Wes, Aleski, or Archie?**
X: I dunno. Favourite sounds like I'd undervalue two of 'em. Leski and I grew up together--
A: It sounds weird when you call me that.
X: --then get a shorter name. We've been through a lot. Wes was there too and he's really cool, but Archie is the kind of chill that we all need in our lives. I value all of them and I don't feel the need to pick one over the other. Besides, the whole best friend thing sounds like an extension of heteronormative culture to me.
A: ...it's Wes, isn't it? You like Wes better and you don't want to tell us.
**Xio, who are your biggest influences in your life? Style, lifestyle, anything.**
X: I'm a big fan of Brody Dalle and Meredith Graves as well as Pussy Riot. I keep up with a lot of groups similar to them. In my personal life, I think tati Inari and tio River are probably the biggest influences in my life. They all influenced some of my style, but more of my lifestyle. I prefer dressing horror punk which freaked mama and papa out the first time, but I think they're getting more used to it. They can both be really uptight about that stuff. I've tried Japanese lolita too, but the original intent behind the fashion movement gets kind of lost in the fetishizing of it, so I only did that like a few months.
**Xio; have you ever been caught banging someone by your parents/other family or anyone else?**
X: Ugh, I prefer not thinking about it. I’ve got no shame when it comes to sex, but I can’t say the same for the rest of my family. Thankfully, only Mama has walked in on me so the lecture was shorter. If it had been Papa or Raph I’d probably still be on her bad side.
I don’t even know why she freaked out so much. I was with another girl and we were being quiet, so there were basically no risks involved. It was just a for fun thing because...whatever her name was wanted to try sleeping with a girl. All Mama had to do was close the door and ignore us. \*rolls eyes\*
**Xio, is there any members of your extended family (non related people) that you'd want to sleep with? Like, would you go for Izzy if she was old enough?**
X: Eh...maybe. I mean I've slept with Leski and Wes--Wes and I still hook up on the regular--but beyond that...Kaisa and Selene are straight as arrows and a little too much like older siblings to consider. Pietro would be doable, but I don't think he would ever agree to it after all the shit he got for dating Kaisa. The twins are also kind of in that sibling category for me. They always kind of looked up to me growing up so it would feel weird getting into bed with either of them. It would be weird like I was taking advantage of their trust or something. Not that they aren't pretty in their own ways. Personally, I think our whole family inherited the best genetics.
**Xio, what's your favourite parts of your nonmonogamy and sex life? Is there any high points to living the way you do? Or even some of the shittier things that come with your lifestyle?**
X: I mean it gives me the freedom to do as I please. I don't get attached to people, so the idea of only sleeping with one person for the rest of my life is boring. Variety is and always will be the spice of life. I love getting to meet new people and experience new things without worrying about keeping up a relationship. I always insist on a first date/meeting before I go to bed with someone new to be sure that we're both on the same page when it comes to what we want out of the relationship. Those that hint at an eventually relationship I usually drop before sex. I'm not out to hurt anyone's feelings by banging them and then disappearing. Heck, I'm fine with some of us seeing each other regularly even so long as they understand what we have is purely physical. Even so there are a few people out there who get the speech and still somehow think they're the one who's going to "fix" me and make me settle down. They don't get that I'm aromantic in addition to being polysexual and it drives me crazy. Like listen when I'm talking, dipshit, and don't make assumptions based on your life experiences.
**Xio, what are some of your favourite rebelling moments? And do your parents actually know about any of them?**
X: Mama knows about most of it. It’s hard to get shit past her, even when she’s not home. I thought she puts cameras in my room at one point, but apparently she’s just Sherlock fucking Holmes level of good.
Anyway, I’ve had some great nights sneaking out. There was that one time when I met this guy for a motorcycle ride and then we fucked at this gorgeous scenic view under the stars. Or when a couple of girlfriends invited me over to spice up their love life for the night. Or the first time I came home with green hair, but I felt kind of bad about that one since Papa was sad that I dyed it. He loves telling me how much I look like Mama which is a compliment in his book. Not that Mama isn’t good looking, just not my style at all.
**Xio, what’s one of your favourite memories with your mum?**
X: Um...this will sound kind of stupid but...we went to the mall together when I was just getting into middle school. It was after one of our fights; she felt like we were growing apart so mandatory family bonding had to happen. \*eye roll\* I wasn't into it at first but...when we were in the food court, a guy started choking. That sounds bad, I mean it was, but I remember mum leaping into action in seconds. The guy's family were all panicking and she just went behind him and started the heimlich maneuver like it was no big deal. A few seconds later the guy was fine and the family were all thanking her. I dunno, I knew mum saved lives, I mean she's a doctor, but seeing it happen was cool. The rest of that afternoon went better. We started actually talking and it felt like we actually connected. She let me be me, like bought me a pair of ripped jeans and let me get my nails done black with red tips, and I actually listened when she talked. We've tried to have a day like that every now and then ever since. It's a sanity check for both of us; a moment to sort out any issues we might have. They're nice and I think it's helped us be a little closer even if we live very different lives.
**Xio, what's a funny memory you have with your tío River?**
X: Probably going to get my hair dyed for the first time. I'd been asking mama for ages, but she always said no and papa said to listen to her, but it was such bullshit. It's my hair and my choice. So I talked with tio River and convinced them to talk to mama about it which worked because tio River is just that good when it comes to convincing people. I had to promise not to do anything too extreme, but they took me in and treated me to style and dye. Since I was told to lay off the colors at first, I actually went with a look similar to Rogue from the X-Men comics.
**Xio - what are some of your favourite memories with your three boys? Any cute ones with Archie and Aleski? Some sexy ones with Wes? Spill the tea.**

X: They're very different people. Aleski and I have had plenty of good times together. I think my favourite might be the night that me and mama got into a bad fight. I ran out of the house and Leski found me as soon as he heard what happened. He got me to sit down and think about it all sensibly, showing probably the most patience I've ever seen from that boy. By 3 AM, he walked with me home so I could make up with mama before her shift started. My teen years were hard for both us.
Archie is an absolute sweetheart and has been since we first met. I really appreciate the quieter moments we share. Some days I need a break from Leski's energy or Wes's overprotectiveness, and those are the days the two of us head off just to chill. I can remember one afternoon when Leski ditched us because he had to clean for his mum, so Archie and I spent the day messing around in the mall together. It was fantastic and silly. I can't remember ever laughing so hard.
And sexy for Wes? I guess it took a little getting to sexy with him. I think we were both a little worried about our mothers freaking out especially after the drama that happened with Selene and Raphael a few years before. We weren't really looking to be emotionally involved, but that made it a harder sell. So we had some months of sneaking around. I think one of my favourite of those was the day Wes texted the address of a hotel and a room number. We spent the whole weekend there, both claiming we were out with other friends instead of just getting some good fucking in. Oh, yeah, that was a good weekend.
**Xio, what is your relationship with your brother like? Has there been any really bad patches or have you always been super close?**
X: I dunno. Fine for me. We're opposites, but that's never been an issue since we're far enough apart agewise that we've never really been expected to hang out together. We kind of exist as a fuck you to gender stereotypes since Raph is super sensitive and I make tio Oriel look emotional. Well, not really, but you get what I mean.

A: Um...I dunno. Guess it has to someone who can put up with me for more like an hour at a time and not many people can do that. Oh and someone who likes going out to explore because I could never deal with someone who wanted to just sit around all day or like watch Netflix for hours or plays video games. Games are cool but only for like an hour or two, unless it's one of those weeks where I have to beat a game on hardmode and I can't put it down until it's all completed. Aiti and Papa really don't like those weeks and I don't either because I'd rather be outside learning how to do a new trick or seeing how tall a building I can climb. One time, I actually got like halfway up those insurance building before someone called the cops and I had to run because Aiti would have been so pissed if she had come bail me out for something as lame as an insurance company--
X: Leski!
A: Huh?
X: The topic is what you like about guys.
A: Oh, yeah. Um...nice and handsome? I dunno. Lots of guys look nice. Some girls look nice too. Like guyish girls? Really cute . I guess slim-ish good. Quiet is good too. I'm loud enough for like a whole soccer team. Like one time when we went to this restaurant after school, this soccer team was there after a game and even though they were all chatting and laughing I was the one that got called out because I kept laughing, but it was totally unfair because Papa is really funny and how do you laugh quietly like that's not even possible?
**Question for Aleski - what’s your favourite memory with your dad?**
A: Favourite?! How can I have a favourite when all of them are like the best ever. Have you met my dad? He's awesome! Everything he does is awesome! Like how nice he is to everyone and how he always gets what I'm talking about even when everyone else is looking at me all funny and just gets so much and he's done so much like do you know how many different jobs he's head?
I: Lex, pick one memory. Just to make it easier for the listeners, okay?
A: Yes, aiti. \*thinks\* Okay, so there was this one time in freshman year of high school that I had a really shitty day, like I couldn't think straight and all the teachers hated how much I moved around even though my IEP warned them that I needed to and we had a really terrible lunch in the cafeteria--fish tacos made in a school which is inhumane by anyone's standards--and I messed up reading a really easy paragraph in class because I got all mixed up and--
I: The good part, kulta?
A: Oh yeah. I went home and started talking about how I wanted to change schools or go back to homeschooling or try online school, and Papi just grabbed his keys and said we were going to do something fun for the night. Next thing I knew, we were at a trampoline part and he paid for like five hours! He didn't stay with me the whole time, but I got bounce around for a while and then we played a game of lazer tag and went out for pizza and walked along one the beaches until it was like midnight. It was the greatest ever and dad just talked to me the whole time about how important it was to keep trying and how it was hard for everyone to learn about a new setting and they were just better at hiding it and that I could do anything if I set my mind to it and so I went back the next morning. It was still hard for the first two months, but I got the hang of it just like he said and things got better. I don't think I would have stuck with high school if he hadn't given me that night to vent and encourage me, and then I would have missed out on all the fun stuff that Xio and Archie and I got to do. Plus some of my teachers really like me now and even say they want to give me letters of recommendation so I can go on to college if I ever want to. I don't know if I will, but maybe if it would help with any of my goals. Say, mum, why do you have your phone out?
I: \*smiles\* I just thought your father might like to hear some of that.

**Aleski, what are some of your favourite and least favourite quirks about Archie?**
A: Least favourite? There's nothing about Archie that isn't my favorite! He's always so good at being level headed which Xio teases him about but I love because I'm like the worst at being level headed, like one time when we were all out at a skatepark for the afternoon and I wanted to try running and backflipping off the top of a half-pipe but Archie spent like five hours convincing me not to do it so I settled for cartwheeling off a pyramid and sprained my wrist. It would have been so much worse if I tried the backflip, but Archie is good at telling me when an idea could end really badly so that I know whenever he insists I really shouldn't do it. And he's like crazy smart, not just because he has good grades, but he's really good at getting me to focus on homework and that's like impossible but he does it all the time and I still don't know how he can do that, like not even papa is as good at Archie at getting me to actually stay focused on something. Oh and he's wicked funny; he doesn't think he is but he can always make laugh because he's got a really unique sense of humor that's just so funny when he makes comments and jokes, I don't even know how he does it! And he has an awesome sense of style that he's developed over the years. It wasn't always easy for him but he's adapted both masculine and feminine fashion trends and he pulls it off so good, like people are just jealous they don't look as good as Archie does when he goes all out on a look and I love seeing him confident in his looks.

A: Well, it was really overwhelming to begin with, I think - I was only little when I met Leks and he befriended me - just to meet all these people at once, and being the smallest in the room. But it's definitely better! Everyone's really nice....especially their tío River - am I saying that right?
Alexa: That was perfect, mijo.

J: It's actually hard sometimes to remember that hopeless boy is one day going to rule over a whole region. I mean, have you ever seen him choose what he's going to wear? That's a four hour decision, aided by at least one call to his sister. How the hell is that boy going to make important political decisions? \*laughs\*
That's a joke - I know he'll be fine with that, and he'll be able to do anything he sets his mind to, but it's so fun to tease him. Sometimes the only way to get him out of his head is to piss him off with something, and he'll forget about the shitty thing that's upsetting him, or he'll snap out of his spiral. We do that one a lot, and it's why it's so weird to think of him as a world leader. He's my boyfriend, the same guy I met at school who fusses about his clothes, and throws strops like a Broadway diva. If I had met him and gotten to know him in an official capacity, I might feel different, but we just met like a normal couple....just one of us lives in a fancy house and can make it literally rain inside.
As for his powers, I dunno. I knew about him and what he could do before we met - his family's the rulers of the four Regions, so everyone knows who they are - and I guess I was curious about what he could do when we met, but I never pushed anything. His abilities are so not the most interesting part of him.
**Jae, what are some of the reasons that you fell for Adrien?**
J: I fell for Adrien long before he even realises. I think he was probably my first proper guy crush, even? Middle school soccer, he joins the team, and suddenly this adorkable nerd is the hottest thing on the planet. \*laughs\* He's a hopeless mess, and it's adorable. Not that I was going to let him know that once he started running his mouth off as well. Couldn't let him have the satisfaction.
High school happened, and the crush sort of simmered in the background, but then college came and we started rooming together, and I was re-noticing all these really fucking sexy things - like how he sleeps like a starfish in bed, taking up the whole space, or how he snorts a little when he laughs, or even how he thinks he's being so suave about hiding that little hot plate in our room from the RAs. He's a dork, and irritating as fuck at the best of times, but he's a damn good cook, and sexy to boot.
**Jae, what are the best and most annoying parts of each member of the Perez-Kijek family?**
J: Oh,. there's plenty to say....most of it is positive, obviously, but they're so not perfect.
Let's start with...River and Sebastian. They're super awesome, both together and individually. I think River always knew I was queer, even when I didn't, but they'd have been equally as sweet and caring even if I was straight. Despite my rivalry with Adrien over our school years, I was always greeted with a smile, and invited to any event they were throwing. I may have gone to some of those to piss off my now-boyfriend, but the point stands. Not to mention that Sebastian's just really fucking epic. He's the punk dad I always wanted in my life, and I couldn't be happier that he'll - hopefully! - be my father in law one day.
Although there are some downsides. River's super over the top, like all the time, and it can be a little embarrassing to be around. \*winces\* Even Adrien complains about that one, so don't give me that look. It's like when they squeal so loud, and everyone starts to stare, or when they're wearing something really out there, and everyone starts muttering about it. It's just kinda embarrassing in public. God only knows how Adrien lives with it. That said, I know exactly where Adrien gets his moods from, and that would be his dad. Those two are like two peas in a pod sometimes, and it's irritating as fuck. It's like all the walls go up - fuck, a whole battalion goes up - and nothing's going in or out. I've seen Sebastian in some really bad moods, and it ain't pretty.
Now, Adrien's sisters....I may have had a teeny, tiny crush on Kaisa? When I was like thirteen, obviously. She was the hot high schooler, with the great tits, and I thought she was the hottest thing ever. I mean, to my little hormonal pre-teen brain, she was. That was the start of me being into athletic girls, but before I discovered the attractiveness of femboys, like Adri. \*grins\* Then I got to be proper friends with Izzy, and I was invited over to the house more often, and I got to see more of Kaisa. Yeah....she's not so ladylike behind closed doors. Instant turn off the first time I saw her wolfing down a whole bowl of spaghetti bolognese. Yikes. And I thought Adrien was a messy eater.
Izzy's totally chill though. She's like, the most zen one of the family. Maybe it's the fact that she doesn't actually speak, or what, but I love hanging out with her. Even if we're just hanging out on her bed playing Call of Duty, or cruising shops in the mall. Not to mention, she's got this epic sense of humour that always leaves me laughing like a lunatic. I mean, you also don't really want to be on her bad side? She can be really vicious when you piss her off, and it's never good. Maybe it hits harder because she's usually so chill....

A: We both spend our time worrying about each other. Whenever the big fires come around or Izzy's called out to the wildfires, I worry if she'll come home or if that last goodbye if the only one I'll ever get. And Izzy worries if I'm gonna get myself thrown in jail one of these days. We both live on the edge for what we believe in. It makes the moments we have together sweeter. I know it bothers her family how little we plan for the future, but it's more important to do with our lives what we want to do, not what others expect us to do.
Doesn't stop Adrien from lecturing me about what I do. I only go after the idiots who'll actually be hurt by having their secrets exposed. So much as I want to take down all the fattest cats out there, I know their lawyers would cover up any damage I could do before it made an impact.
As for the particulars of Izzy's identity, there's always more risk with her being out there without the ability to hear. Her hearing aids give her a limited boost so that she can hear an explosion or shouting, but a lot of her safety is dependent upon her crew. Luckily, she works with a great group of people who I know have her back. I get pictures of all of them hanging out at the fire house all the time. They were great about Izzy coming out to them too. It was a learning curve for the fire house, but Izzy's not afraid to stick up for herself and her closest friends made for damn sure that no one talked behind her back. If they hadn't, I'd have worked on ending a few careers. You don't belong in a community position if you can't handle people from different backgrounds.

**Asha, what are the best and most annoying parts of each member of the Perez-Kijek family?**
A: Y'all want the tea? Alright, I suppose I've been getting used to the bunch. I can offer the unique experience of having met all of 'em as an adult.
River and Sebastian? Grade A parents. Izzy's told me loads of stories about growing up in a hearing household as a deaf woman and it sounds like they really gave it their all to help her succeed. Would be nice if that were the rule for all deaf kids, but I know from personal experience how hard it can be. River's got some good style. I have no idea how they grow their hair as long as they do. I like putting in long ass extension when I'm feeling it, but I'd never be able to keep up with the hair they keep up with. Major respect. Exchanging styling tips with them is always fun. And Sebastian is actually pretty cool for an old man. \*snickers\* I know he's not that old, but it's fun to call him that. He gets the whole "be gay, do crimes" coda I live my life by. It's funny because I think he tried to not trust me when I showed up, but we spoke that same fuck the government language and he just couldn't help himself.
But both of them can be annoying. River has that need to poke their nose in everyone's business and that is one thing I can't fucking abide. My business is my own and I will tell you if it involves you. Sticking your nose where it isn't wanted will get you beat. Not that I ever had to go that far with them. They can take a hint. Sebastian can be nosy when it comes to Izzy. It's mildly less annoying because it's not my past he's digging for, but for the first like three months of our relationship, he was always checking in on us. Were we being safe? Was I being a bitch? Good God. It might not have been personal, but some days I wanted to fly over to his house and give him a piece of my mind.
The older sister is an interesting one. Kaisa's tough and I can appreciate that. Not hard on the eyes either, but a totally different looker than Izzy. She's femme with a masculine edge thanks her interest in sports, and while that flavour of lady can be fun, I'd never trade Izzy in. It's nice having another girl around that walks along the spectrum like me I would say. We don't get along perfectly or anything. That girl is straight as a flagpole and I doubt she cares about any technology beyond her phone. We don't have much in common outside of fashion. Her husband's alright, I guess. Pretty chill which is a blessing in that house, let me tell you.
And then there's Adrien. Oh, Adrien. Both Sebastian and River are chill human beings compared to how he was when I first started dating Izzy for real. He was determined to start stuff like the little bitch he is, but he'd go running at the first mention of fighting. I thought for sure I was going to fuck up have it out with him, and probably lose Izzy for it. But a funny thing happened. The more we saw each other, the less irritating his attempts became. Izzy told me more and more about her brother and I started to see through his transparent hissy fits. Once I saw that all his blustering was just a prolonged fit of jealousy, I stopped taking it personally. He'd always been the number one person in his sister's life and so naturally he's more than a little overly protective of her. I stopped acting hostile and teased him instead, and before I knew it, Adrien started to chill out. I'm sure he and Izzy had a few talks as well, but once that storm had ended, I found out that I really liked Adrien. I'd never really gotten on with gay boys before, but then Adrien and I went out dancing one night to try and bond some and we had so much fucking fun. Like he might be a dramatic bitch, but damn, he can use that body to do some amazing things. If he were a lady, I'd be tempted to find a way to having the matching set of twins. \*laughs\* But Jae would probably get pissy if I took his boytoy, so I'll leave that fantasy where it lays.
Jae's not a bad guy. Anyone who can put up with Adrien's shit and honestly say he loves him at the end of the day is on another level. It's nice having the option to hangout with him at the family gatherings when Izzy's family gets to be a little much.
Yeah, Izzy is fantastic. I mean girl caught my attention that first night we slept together and I had my mind blow wide fucking open, but it was her persistence that won me over. I swore I was never going to fall into the trap of monogamy. I'd seen how much it fucked up my family and my friends; I wanted nothing to do with it. But Izzy has patience and dedication that I swear is unmatched by any other human being. We went from fuckbuddies to friends to something sweeter. She stayed when I said I wanted to stop sleeping together. She stayed when I said I wanted to go on dates with other people. Ha, those dates never did happen. I talked up a few girls, but it all felt wrong. But the important thing was that Izzy gave me that space to figure myself out. And I gave her the one thing I never thought I would give anyone; my undivided attention. We stayed friends through all of it and by the time we decided to make things official, I was gone. Outside of her amazing body, Izzy is the kind of chill person that anyone would love to hangout with. She lets you relax and be you, and we never have to argue about music. \*laughs\* We actually like a lot of the same shows, and I've grown up watching everything with subtitles and descriptive audio, so I'm happy to use whatever makes the viewing experience better for Izzy.
Obviously, she's not perfect. That persistence might've gotten us into a relationship, but it also means she can be a stubborn bitch when she wants to be. Like when we disagree on where to go for dinner? It can take an hour to debate it and I usually end up caving because Izzy can literally go all night. And it always catches me off guard because she's normally so chill. She's also got this devil may care attitude that can be hot, but makes me worry so much when she's at work. Like bitch, you got me to love you, don't you dare go dying on me because you thought running into a burning house after a cat against your supervisor's orders was a good idea. God, it's so stressful some nights.
**Asha, what are some of the challenges that come with sleeping with a deaf girl? Do you find that things work fine, or were there any hiccups that you had to work on?**
A: It's really not that different from sex with an abled person. Izzy and I make a point to talk before sex about our wants and needs so that we both know what we want, and after that it's all body language. Sure some hearing people get into dirty talk and shit, but you don't need it. It's just as good enjoying the moment together without worrying about what's coming out of our mouths. And if there's an emergency like a toy is hitting wrong or something gets painful, I just give Izzy a pinch on her arm to get her attention. No different than people who play with gags really.
If there's any issues we have, it's probably Izzy being loud, but wanting to have sex in public places. I'm happy to indulge both her and her kinks, but getting that woman to understand how to use her inside voice when someone might be close by can be a pain. That's just a small thing for us to figure out though.
**Asha, what was it like falling for one of the future leaders of your world? Were Izzy’s abilities ever something that freaked you out?**
A: Yeah, irony might be the top of that list. Not that I've had as much reason to go after the recent governments--I've helped a few scandals get out, but nothing involving any of the current rulers. Still, dating one of the future heads of state? Not where I saw myself being...ever.
It helped meeting Izzy pretty normally. Like I was old enough to know who she was, but she contacted me through a dating app and we hooked up without any big deal being made. Oh, there were pictures in the shitty magazines that love the gossip, but I don't give a fuck. The world knows me as your dime a dozen computer programmer. No pictures are ruining my life. It got more interesting when Izzy started coming back. Even then she had to work to convince me about us being more than a hookup. I mean being the girlfriend of a political leader wasn't really in my cards, but I got to know her and...what can I say, she's convincing. All the politics and shit stopped meaning as much the more I got know her. She's just Izzy to me.

Ad: Izzy's not the only one werewolf in our family, you know! \*huffs\* I might have the worst DNA in our family, but I'm not so desperate that I'd ask the others to do stuff for me. I've got good senses and I'm fit, transforming and all that garbage is just...extra. The others can all keep their abilities. I'd rather be normal.
X: Someone's jealous~
Ad: Shut up!
Al: Xio, lay off him. Hey, Adrien, we're having some fun, yeah? Like thinking of silly stories when we helped each other out like that one time you wanted a really specific eye shadow colour and you asked me to look around for it in like 1950s and I came back with it but it got fucked up in the teleportation and turned like a neon green that we were ninety percent sure was actually radioactive and then we had to dump it into another portal before Aiti came into the room. That was pretty funny.
Ad: Y-yeah. \*tears up\* I'm just tired of everyone assuming I need Izzy for everything. I can do stuff on my own with own without her or anyone else. I don't need any pity-- \*sniffle\*
X: Fucking really?
Al: Xio, why don't you go hang with Wes? You're not helping right now.
**Adrian, what are some of your favourite and least favourite things about having two queer parents who are both biologically male?**
A: I kinda forget Papi is biological male most days. They don’t really do many masculine so they’re more like a mom. Kinda. Isa fusses more like a mom, so both of them kinda take in both roles. It never bothered me, but lots of people from school think it’s weird.
Good things are that they both get some of the struggles of being male and queer I guess. That only became an issue recently, but it got really hard. I didn’t want to come out at first but it felt like I had to because of how out and proud Papi is. Isa sat down with me after that and told me that I could take it all at my own pace and neither of them would be mad. Papi made a huge thing out never wanting to make me uncomfortable and I should do what’s best for me. It was silly, but I appreciated their support.
Bad things are they’re not really subtle or quiet in the bedroom. Like I just got used to it now, when my friends are over, all the PDA is kinda embarrassing.
**Adrien, here’s a question -what sort of guys are you into?**
A: I dunno. I haven’t really figured out my type yet. Like...not like Papi. I love them, but femme isn’t really appealing to me. And not tattoos and shit like Isa. He makes it okay I guess, but I just don’t see the appeal.
Um, some of the guys on the football are kind of cute. Just...different from me. \*blushes\*
**Adrien, what are some of your favourite memories with each of your parents?**
A: I've always liked being in the kitchen with Papi. Maybe because of how much they like it too. They're always telling me stories about how they used to spend all day with abuela in the kitchen when they were little. They always let me help, and when I was younger we used to do silly stuff like sing and dance. I even like seeing them and Isa being all mushy together. It's kinda gross and embarrassing in public, but I kinda used to dream about getting to have someone who loved me like that someday.
Isa and I don't always hang out alone as much, but I can remember times when we all went to the mall as a family when he made sure I wasn't feeling left out when Papi when with the girls to do all the shopping in the women's sections. I can remember a few adventures we had running around the mall together that still mean a lot to me.
**College-age!Adrien, what’s it like having a gay twin? Do you connect over a lot of common things, or do you clash over stuff that you differ on?**
A: I mean we're pretty different as people. I got kinda into sports--mostly watching after those like two years I tried playing--and Izzy was more of the art person at school. I love to spend all day cooking by myself or with Papi, but Izzy doesn't really like hanging around the kitchen. We both like socializing, but Izzy's more chill and kinda better at it.
Izzy being gay or liking certain things doesn't have a lot to do with why we're close. We just are. We get excited for each other or roll our eyes, whatever reaction comes naturally to us, but we never stop loving each other. She's my sister and I wouldn't place the fate of our relationship on mutual interests. It's the same with Kaisa. She used to pick on us when we were younger, but the older we all got, the more value we placed on that bond we had with her. It's that family bond that goes beyond causal friendship.
Not every blood family experiences it, but we're lucky enough to be close like that. It makes all the little things like what movie is good or what kind of style is best seem unimportant, you know? Us both being gay just kind of worked out so that we never have to worry about competing for the same people. I'd hate that. If I thought everyone I wanted to date secretly just wanted Izzy, I'd go crazy within a week. I've come a long way since high school, but Jae can tell you how often he still has to boost my self-esteem. Competing with Izzy would have destroyed me.

**Adrien (young adult age) - who have been some of your favourites and least favourite girls that Izzy's dated, and why?**
A: Saying it like that makes her sound like Xio. She's doesn't get around that much. \*snickers\*
X: What was that, shrimp?
A: \*glares\*
X: That's what I thought.
A: Izzy's dated a few cool people. I remember one she met at an art festival who was kind of fun to talk to. She did street art and it looked legit. Another girl was really into card games and taught us both how to play poker so that we had something to do during study halls.
But there were a few bitches too like the one girl who kept saying I looked more like a girl than she did. Never said that in front of Izzy so I had to say something which was fun. I think she was jealous of how much we hung out and wanted me gone. There was another one who kept saying she made the best burritos and kept telling her that her shitty Tex Mex had nothing on authentic, but she insisted on bringing over bean slop in tortillas every fucking day... Might've been more of a personal problem with the second one, but the other one was a legit bitch.
**Adrien, what has it been like to have a twin sister who’s not only gay but also deaf? Does that impact on you in day to day life at all?**
A: I dunno. I grew up with her so we always kinda knew how to talk to each other before we knew how to talk. Learning how to sign just happened from being around when she learned it and learning when to talk for her happened before I knew it. Different is never weird when it’s your normal.
Figuring out the gay thing was harder, but that was because of Izzy had a terrible first girlfriend who decided to use her and make things weird between us. I got so mad and frustrated when all that happened. It felt like I had lost my best friend for the longest time before Papi helped to sort it out.
Since then we’ve learned to trust each other before jumping to conclusions. But knowing we both like different genders helps too.
**Adrien, what was your first kiss with a guy like? Good, bad, weird?**
A: It was...uh...good. Those memories are kinda weird after everything that happened. My first boyfriend was...not great—I mean he was good or I thought he was. Yeah.
Our first kiss was...great. But not because of me. He kinda...just took control. We were walking down a street with shops and then he pushed me up against a wall and it...everything felt so good. It’s probably why I let him do everything else later that night. And that was...
I...um...need to go.
**Adrien: any upsides to sharing a dorm room with Jae?**
A: Prolonged exposure to his stupid face is building my tolerance?
Ugh, he's fine. I expected a jock like him to be incapable of maintaining a fresh smelling room, but he's actually cleaner than me which is both nice and frustrating. Nice because I never have to get on him to clean, but some days I swear it feels like I'm still living at home. Not to mention, his grandmother makes some of the tastiest food outside my Papi and Uncle Laurent, and she's always sending him snacks. It's actually really easy convincing Jae to share so long as I promise to share what gets sent to me. It means I have to keep up with my daily yoga religiously, but it's so worth it.
And...maybe there are some nice views too. Jae might be an idiot jock, but the universe blessed him with a gorgeous body and I get the occasional peek at it when he doesn't care to cover all the way up. Not that I would ever do anything about that or tell him. I just appreciate the fact...aesthetically.
**Adrien - do you have any particularly memorable anecdotes of you and Jae from high school?**
A: Like stories about him being a jerk? \*frowns\* Okay, so I know there was more to it. I still thought he was a total jerk in high school. Like, oh my gosh, he was always showing off. On the field, off the field, in the halls, in class; he never stopped. I used to think it was so weird because he grandparents are so nice. No way they raised anyone as rude as him. And no one else ever got that impression from him. \*pauses\* Yeah, I know that was probably because he was trying to flirt. Badly. He's a bad flirt and don't believe him when he says it's all me.
There was that one time I almost thought he was redeemable. Junior year I finally joined Izzy helping out in the LGBTQ+ club at school, and Jae was there, of course. We did a bake sale to help raise money for prom and I made some of the recipes that Papi had taught me growing up. I just knew Jae would try to be an ass about it, so I didn't mark any of the stuff that I made. Then he ended up trying some of the cookies I made, and he bought like three plates of them. \*laughs\* I was almost tempted to rub it in his face, but I decided to keep it a secret. He never figured it out until like three months later when Izzy offered some I had made while they were hanging out. I only wish she had gotten a picture of his face. Surprisingly, he was never a jerk about my cooking skills, though now he won't stop asking me to cook him stuff. He's so fucking needy. \*laughs\*
**Adrien, has there ever been situations when you’ve had to stick up for your sister because of either her being gay or deaf?**
A: Um, well, since we're both gay that can get complicated. I'm not as brave as Papi or Isa...or Kaisa...or...Izzy... I get panicky around assholes who get aggressive because of my orientation. I like to think I've gotten better about hiding it with sass like Papi can, but it's still hard. I try to help whenever guys try to be gross to Izzy. Like if they try to sexualize her or her date. It's scary but most of those jerks will leave if you hit on them. Just telling them to fuck off and making a scene can work too. People aren't as tolerate of those kinds of people as they used to be.
But if anyone messes with her because she's not ablebodied, I crack down on their ass so hard that they never recover. It's easier weird as it is to say that. Just...I know both kinds of people are wrong but it's easier to tell that to people messing with Izzy. The worst case of that came when we on a school trip. We had gone to the gift shop and Izzy got a little stuffed animal or something. She was heading back towards the group when a guy tried talking to her--a total creep being trashy. She didn't notice him and kept walking, so he yelled at her, called her nasty things, and then he grabbed her arm when she didn't respond. I don't think I've ever run as fast as I did in that moment. I yanked him off with that kind of not-normal strength you get when you're freaking out, and yelled at him for invading her space. I told him to fuck off and that no one needed to give him the time of day if they didn't want to. It...almost got bad after that. He was really big and angry. I think he was ready to jump me when...Jae actually showed up. He got the guy to leave and we found the group again.
I always back Izzy up as best as I can. I don't know if I do it well, but I try. Some days I wish I was braver like Papi and I try to be, but I know I've got limits.
**Adrien, what’s some of your favourite parts of your parents? Personality quirks, habits, hobbies, anything.**
A: Oh, that's easy! Papi is so funny and they're so good at listening. They can always see when something's bothering me, even before I do sometimes. I can remember lots of days when they sat me down just to sit and everyone that had been bothering me came bubbling to the surface just from chatting about nothing. They're like a good energy infuser. You can't stay mad or sad around them. And they give the best hugs. Some days I still wish they could lift me up on their shoulders like they used to. \*laughs\*
Isa makes me feel safe. If he's around whether we're out of the house or home together, it feels like nothing can go wrong. One of my earliest memories if of a bad thunderstorm when I was little. Izzy was asleep, but I was hiding under my covers thinking the whole house would collapse any minute. That was when Isa came in to check on us. He stayed with me all night, telling me over and over that it was going to be okay. I don't remember when I fell asleep, but when I woke up the next morning, he was still there. Maybe it's childish, but on the hardest days, he can make it better just by being around. Sometimes I wonder if he knows how to do everything except cook.
**Adrien, what are the best, and most annoying, parts of each member of your family?**
A: Oh, that's gonna be an easy one. \*cracks knuckles\*
I'll start with the good because I know I'm gonna get on a roll once I talk about the annoying bits. Now the best for Papi is easy and hard because I don't know how to narrow them down to just one good thing. They're just amazing. But if I had to pick just one thing I would say their affection for everyone. I never knew that was a special part of them until I started going over to other friends' houses and saw that their parents didn't do what Papi did. They always made sure we got hugs when we came home from anything. Isa does too, but it's not always in that really intentional way that Papi does. Hell, I remember in early high school when I tried to go without those hugs because some jackass made fun of me for not being manly enough all because Papi still hugged me. I think I made it a week before I got home and ran to get my hug from them. I missed it so much. I'll never understand how other people can live without that kind of love.
Isa isn't too hard to think of one for either. I would say his ability to support you quietly is something I really appreciate. Papi does everything in a loud and proud way, which I love, but in moments when I need to think and I just want someone there to think with, I go to Isa most of the time. You can talk to him for hours and he'll listen without reacting. You have to ask for a reaction most of the time. Some days I need that. I need to vent and cry and punch a pillow without hearing anything back. He'll push if he thinks you're holding back, but otherwise he'll listen. That got me through my first breakup when it felt like the whole world had ended. I'll never forget that night or how much Isa helped me.
Kaisa might be a lot older than me and Izzy, but she's a pretty good older sister. I think for her I would say I appreciate her protectiveness. Unlike Isa and Papi, she doesn't go over the top with it. If anything, she had a better understand of how much pressure to apply because she actually knows some of the people I have issues with. Like she won't go tell the school about someone making fun of me, she'll make their life a living hell until they get the message and leave me alone. Or she'll help me find ways to fight back myself without actually fighting. I don't like violence and I don't like any activity that could get me bruises...which is probably why my soccer career only lasted like three months. She just gets it and it helps to have that older person on my side when trouble comes around.
I don't even know where to start with Izzy. She's my twin, and while not all of the bullshit they say about twins are true, she is my best friend. We're different people, but we're connected on a deeper level. I don't know what I'd do without her. Maybe...that connection is what I like best about her? Obviously that's not something other people can enjoy, but that what it makes it so special. It's like having a built in person who gets those really shitty times when I can't find a good way to vocalise what I feel. With Izzy, I don't have to be able to put it into words. She just gets it and she can help other people get it when they don't. And even if we don't like all the same things, she still looks out for stuff like I like the same way that I look out for stuff that she likes. Hell, we did that as kids when we both started figuring out we liked different things. We'd trade toys when people gave her the girl toy and me the boy one; we'd trade clothes when she saw something of mine that she liked. It didn't take long for Papi and Isa to catch on, but we had each other's backs until they did.
God, I could do this for hours, but I'll restrict myself.
Papi always sticks their nose into everything. Like if you even let on just a little about liking a guy, they'll have done a background check on him by the time you talk next. And they just can't let anything go! I think I still remember Isa asking us to keep a secret about a surprise for their birthday and it took literally sitting in silence every time they entered the room to keep them from pestering us about it. You can imagine how bad that got when we made it to high school and they wanted to know everything about all our teachers and friends and crushes. Ugh, I still have nightmares about the after school interrogation sessions. Or worse, when friends came over and then you had to find ways to get Papi to leave before they started doing the question thing.
Not that Isa is much better. He notices everything! When you're having a bad day and don't want to talk about it, it's fine because he doesn't have to be told that, but when you're trying to just do you thing and he decides to sit you down for a talk, ugh, it's awful. Getting any with anything is so fucking hard. Like maybe I did spend the last of my allowance on a new makeup palette instead of saving it. So what? It's not like ask for extra money that often. Papi always gets to spend money on nice clothes and makeup, I don't get why I'm somehow irresponsible just because I do the same. And if he catches you sneaking back in? Like I'm sorry I'm not comfortable screwing my boyfriend in my bedroom when you or Papi is likely to hear us and make it super uncomfortable later! I don't know how Izzy can put up with all that shit.
And Kaisa can go from nice to unbearable when she feels like it. Just listening to her and Papi argue is enough to drive anyone crazy, but when she decides to make you the target of her boredom or anger, god, it's awful. I remember one day after I borrowed some of her eyeshadow that she took my Gigi stuffed animal and hid it (I was like eight at the time, so it was traumatic, okay?). I didn't get it back until I went and got Isa to make her give it back. And fuck, when she and Izzy team up it's the actual worst. They used to do that all the time when I wanted to watch anime as a kid. I was so happy the day I got a laptop so that I didn't have to share the TV with them anymore. She likes using her big sister status when it benefits her.
Izzy, meanwhile, is impossible to argue with! You know how hard it is to argue with someone who can literally just walk away from you if she wants to stop listening? It's worse than when a hearing person does it because at least you know they're still hearing you even if there's a door between you. If Izzy leaves and shuts the door, you're basically yelling at a door. You can't get anything across until she decides she wants to listen again. And before you suggest texting, I've done that. She blocked my number once to keep me from texting her. It's easily the most irritating thing about her. The only plus side is that I can do that same thing to her whenever I want to give her a taste of her own medicine. I've gone it occasionally when I was really mad at her...but I don't really like sitting alone in my room so I never last as long as she does.
**Adrien - you and Izzy are super close, so you must have some crazy adventure anecdotes to share. Care to share some of your most memorable?**
A: There was the one time we snuck away from home for three hours. Isa had asked up to play in the living room while he finished something. We got inspired from our favorite show and decided we wanted to go on an adventure outside. At the time, neither of us had told him or Papi that we knew how to open doors by stacking on top of each other, so he had no way of knowing what we were doing. We got out and headed down the sidewalk pretending the road was a big river and we had to follow it to buried treasure.
Honestly, our neighborhood is pretty safe, so it was more of a walk than an adventure. The most dangerous thing we tried to do was climb a fence to go pet one of the neighbor's dogs. That's actually why we went home. We wanted to find the bathroom step stool to use to get over it. You can guess how badly we had scared Isa. I don't think either of us had ever seen him close to crying before that. We got about five minutes of kisses and hugs before he scolded us for walking away from him like that. I think Papi had come home by then, but I don't remember much of what happened after. It was just weird seeing Isa of all people get upset. It taught us both to never wander off without telling someone again, that's for sure.

**Pirate!Adrien, how do you find your own independence when being on the same ship as your family in close quarters? Is it difficult to find that 'private time'?**
A: Um, yeah, you fucking think? If life on a ship weren't bad enough being all crammed together for months on end, add in the fact that your literal relatives are always fucking there and just guess how frustrating that can be. I spend literal hours looking for a quiet corner where I can just let off a little steam. Every time I think I'm safe, someone pops into the room and it's awful! Izzy can do that shit without blinking, but I can't look the person in the face for a week after! And then I'm embarrassed and horny and irritated and wishing we had one guy on board my age who I could fuck around with. Everyone else has someone. Kaisa has Pietro, Selene has Raphael (in a different way), Aleski has Archie, Xio has Wes (and I know Izzy's convinced Xio to sleep with her before); literally everyone has someone except me!
So when we get into port, I tell everyone to fuck off so I can go find the nearest hot guy to fuck me into a coma for the duration of our stay. And anyone complaining about me getting crabby can fuck off because none of them are forced to be celibate against their will! \*door slam\*
**Adrien, how do you think your Papi has influenced you in life? Has their interest in makeup and the like been part of your interest? What was it like learning that sort of thing from them?**
A: In all the best ways, that’s how. Papi is the coolest person ever! They’re confident and smart and funny and beautiful and basically everything I would be lucky if I could imitate. Izzy got all their good looks while I...Papi doesn’t like it when I say this, but I got stuck being the only one in the family who looks like Isa. My hair is thin and skin won’t tan past opaque white no matter how long I stay in the sun. If I didn’t have access to stuff like makeup, I’d probably never go out in public...
But that’s not what you were asking. I think I would have been interested in makeup regardless, but Papi loving it as much as they do probably let me get into using it sooner. They let me play with some of their palettes and took me to get a whole starter kit of my own when I turned eight. They used to sit with me and teach me lots of different techniques. It was nice having them there when I got frustrated. \*laughs\* I used to throw my eyeliner when I could get the wings as sharp as I wanted and they always reminded to settle down and just keep practicing. They’d tell me all the stories of how they learned how to do everything in secret and how hard it was for them, but that practice made them better.
As I got more skilled, those times became less about teaching and more about experimenting. The only decent thing about my complexion is that it works with over the top colours well, so I do a lot of striking looks. I haven’t really left the house in one yet, but they keep encouraging me to wear it to the shop. That wouldn’t be so bad. Some of my friends there really like my Instagram photos of those looks, so they would probably be cool about me wearing one.
I would never have wanted to do it without Papi. Half of the fun is spending time with them and I could never get bored of that.
**Adrien, feel like sharing some good memories with Izzy? Any involving the community?**
A: Well, there was this one time not long after Izzy came out when some of her girlfriends--or friends who are girls, not people she dated--wanted to have a makeover, spa kind of night. We had all hung out before, but only Izzy got invited. She wasn't all that interested in it, but rather than turn them down, she asked if I could go with her. Luckily, Kat's mom was really cool and okayed me tagging along without even making any dumb rules about me not being able to sleep over or needing to be in a different room. Maybe she just thought I was gay like Izzy...which I am, but I wasn't out back then.

I: Eh, I like to think I understand him more than most people do. He likes to think he's an edgy emo teen, but I've seen him listening to Broadway soundtracks at 1am and lip synching to every word, so I know better.
All things considered though, despite his emo attitude towards most things, I like that he still talks to me like he always has. He came out to me first, and he actually tells me about the guys he likes, just like I tell him about the girls I'm crushing on. Maybe it's because I'm less intense than Papi, and because Adri's too similar to Isa. We just get each other. Twins stick together no matter what.
**Izzy, what are the best, and most annoying, parts of each member of your family?**
I: Alright, I get to bitch about my family without any consequences. \*grins\* Good things first though. Can't not mention their good aspects.
Adrien's obviously amazing in so many different ways - he's basically my other half without any of that marriage shit. He gets me in ways that most people don't, like when I'm upset about something and he's the only one able to recognise what I'm upset about. Props to him for being able to sign just as quickly as I can. Also despite him being gay as a picnic basket, he's the best damn wingman I could ask for. I get laid more often when I'm out with him than when I go out on my own.
As for Kaisa, she can be annoying at the best of times, but she has her moments of being a decent big sister. If I need help with school stuff - be that work, or social things - she's there to help. If I need help with a new teacher who doesn't quite get how to deal with me- \*laughs\* Kai explains everything and makes sure I've got the resources I need, while also leaving me the room to forge my own path in life. She's never made me feel like lesser for being deaf, and never pandered to me in any sort of way. She'll be a pain in the ass to me just as much as she will to Adrien.
And then we have the parents. Papi's actually crazy organised, which you totally wouldn't think when you look at them, and they've just got this passion that spills over into literally everything. If you've ever heard them talk about their activism work, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I mean, listen to any conversation with them, and they'll be gushing about Isa at least five times. \*laughs\* Oh, and they're 100% my role model when it comes to giving zero fucks about being queer.
Isa....I love him with every fibre of my being. Obviously I love Papi just as much, but I have so many special memories with Isa, especially when it comes to art stuff. He's got this creative mind behind the logical exterior, and it's amazing when you tap into that side of him. Comes into handy for art class, but also for times when I need to get out of my own head. He sees that, and comes up with some activity for us to do where I don't have to think about whatever's bothering me.
And now into the fun bits.
Adrien's a total drama queen, which can be fun in some circumstances, but other times he's just annoying as fuck. You like a guy in your biology class? Grow some balls, ask him out for coffee, or get over yourself. \*eye roll\* I swear, I've got more balls than he does, and I'm a girl. I love him to bits, I do, but I'm so glad we're not sharing a room anymore, because I just can't deal with his dramatics and the mess he leaves behind him. Not even just emotional mess, but actual mess. Put your fucking clothes away!
He obviously gets that one from Papi, but they're more irritating when they decide I'm not meeting their expectations of fashion. I'm a masculine-of-centre lesbian, but they are continually trying to get me to be more feminine in these little poking ways, and it drives me up the wall. Just because they don't get along with their actually feminine daughter, doesn't mean I have to fill that hole. I'd rather throw myself off a bridge than wear a dress - \*wrinkles nose at the thought\* - and I prefer my Nike Air Max sneakers over a pair of girly heels. That's who I am, and they need to deal with that.
Isa's co-dependance on Papi drives me up the wall sometimes - like, Papi will go away for a weekend, and for that whole weekend, Isa's in a crappy mood, and snapping on the slightest things, not to mention glued to his phone. It almost feels like none of the rest of us really matter, and it sucks, even though I do know that he loves us all. \*sighs\* What about if I want some cuddles from my dad and he's too busy moping over Papi being gone to even notice?
Kaisa can just be a total bitch sometimes. Plain and simple. She'll throw tantrums and strops, and be a bitch about the stupidest of things. Hearing her argue - you know what I mean! - with Papi is exhausting sometimes, especially when she drags the rest of us down with her. Papi and Isa don't let her go to a party? She'll drag up stuff about me and Adrien that gets us in trouble so she seems like the good child. Ugh. I can't wait til she moves out.
**Izzy, what’s your take on having a gay twin? We know what Adrien said, but do you feel differently than him?**
I: It's cool being able to share that part of myself with someone. Like, back when I realised how gay I am, it was really comforting to have Adrien respond to my coming out with a, "Me too." He gets the struggles, and the cool parts, and just all of it. We're queer twins, and we're awesome. \*grins\*
We have different interests, obviously, and way different tastes in the people we date. Adri's into jocks and buff guys, whereas I gravitate towards the bad girls, the ones who ride motorbikes and get risque tattoos and skip class. \*laughs\* But despite our differences, we're closer to each other than probably anyone in the family. He's my Adri, and I'm his Iz.

**Izzy, what are your brother's best boyfriends and worst boyfriends?**
I: Well, Adrien hasn’t exactly dated a lot of people, but I know his type. He tends to go for the lowkey gay guys, rather the ones like Papi. It’s sad though, because there’s been so many adorable guys asking him out only to get maybe one date - if they’re lucky. I know that makes Papi a little upset as well, and I think it makes them think Adrien’s ashamed of them. \*sighs\* That said, Adri did date this one guy he met at Papi’s bar. Such a sweetheart, and he was so good at ice skating. Pity that one didn’t go anywhere. He was nice.

S: Since partnered activities are off the table for me, I've experimented a lot more with toys. I've got this one bendable vibrator that's perfect for keeping my day to day playtime varied. I've also got a suction cup dildo for the shower for days when I want the experience of a good fuck again. It's taken some experimenting and there are days when I miss regular sex, but you do what you have to for the people you love.
P: \*looks to the left\* \*looks to the right\* I enjoy going down on women. Men not so much. Women are so much softer and licking is much less of a risk for my throat, not to mention my gag reflex is strong... I just like softness.
A: Uuuuuuuuuh, I guess shirtless? Does shirtless count as wearing something? If I had say it a different way, I guess I would say shirtless after a workout because guys looks really attractive post workout, like glistening and kind of flushed, not that I'm into sweat or being dirty--I'd still want them to take a shower before, but getting to see someone workout like super hard can be a really big turn on which is why I avoid gyms actually because there was this one time in high school when we had to lift weights and some of the basketball players were going at them hard and I got too distracted and then I had to come up with an excuse to leave early--thank god for baggy shorts, seriously.
X: Dude, breathe, please. For me, I would say threeways are big for me. I love the chaos of having two partners on you at once, the variety of positions you can get into, how overwhelming it can be. Guys, girls, whoever. As long as they're down, I'm happy to have them in my bed.
**Izzy and Kaisa. How would you describe your relationship as sisters? And do you ever gang up on your brother?**
K: Please, as if. It's usually more like those two ganging up on me, and I can't even do anything about it because they're the babies of the family.
I: \*smirks\* You're just mad we didn't take your side when you wanted to go to that college party with Pietro, and Papi wouldn't let you.
K: Would it really have been so hard to side with me? To be a good sister who just wants her big sister to have a life? Ugh, you're such a pain.
I: Eh, it's more fun this way. Anyway, to answer the question, we do have a pretty good relationship most of the time. I think it would probably be a little easier if there was less of an age-gap between us? Like, Adri and I are probably closer to Aleski and Xio than we are with Kaisa or Sel, or Raph. We all get along most of the time, but there's that little disconnect, I think, that becomes more noticeable at certain times.
K: Not to mention it's hard to even compare to the sort of thing the twins have between them. It's almost like a secret, unspoken language between the two of them, that nobody else gets. Papi and Isa have the same thing between them - those little moments of silent communication - and it's frustrating to not be a part of that.
**Seb and Adrien - you both adore River and everything that makes them special, but has there ever been moments - however brief - that you’ve wished they were “normal”?**
A: Of course I love Papi and everything about them. What's not to love? They're amazing and no one else is like them! I only wish I were brave enough to be like them.
But...well...sometimes I wished they didn't try so much harder with the girls. I know they don't do it on purpose. They just get wrapped up in being femme sometimes and trying to get the girls into shopping with them. I like makeup and some of my outfits are kinda femme, but I know I'm not a replacement for the mother-daughter relationship they wish they had with Kaisa and Izzy. Like I...I really kinda hate how they got into having boys nights and girls nights when we were all younger. I never wanted to get stuck with Isa while the girls got to go shopping with them.
It got better the older we got and I understand them better now. It was just hard growing up and figuring out how to express those frustrations without hurting them.
S: I often wish I hadn't married a drama queen who insists overreacting as much as our teenager daughter does. Does that count? \*laughs\*
I think I've lived with River too long. The definition of normal doesn't make sense like it used to. Like which normal would they be? A cis woman? A cis man? Am I wishing away their skin colour too? Or their sexuality? To wish they were normal, I would have to choose what brand of normal I want them to be. It sounds too exhausting to form the concept; forget wasting time wishing on it. River is their own normal and I can't imagine them being any other way. If I wanted some other normal, I would have given up on dating them during that first year we were together.
The only normal I wish I could give to them would be taking away what remained of their dysphoria. It's gotten better through therapy and their transition, but there's still the odd day when I can see it bothering them. But I would never want any parts of their identity to disappear. I love every part of them; the good and the bad. Some days I have to put more effort into it than other days, but no marriage worth keeping ever survived without some effort. I'll trade every hour I have left if it means they can keep living their best life.
**River, Kaisa, and Izzy, while Seb is the comparatively calmer parent, he still comes with his own baggage. Do any of you ever wish that baggage weren’t there? What would you most want to change?**
R: I accepted his baggage a long time ago. It hasn't been easy working through it all - a lifetime of emotional and psychological abuse will do that to you - but he's in a better place now, which I'm thankful for. However, would he still be the same Seb I fell in love with, without all that baggage? I just don't know.
That said, one thing I would change if I had the power, would be removing Mikael and his influence. That's something that's truly caused the worst scars, and some of the things that he did, have stayed with Sebastian until this day. Knowing that my partner still experiences pain over something...I hate it. If there's a version of Seb out there that hasn't gone through that trauma and has never even met Mikael...he's a lucky cábron.
K: Isa is an amazing father, there's no doubt about that, but he's...not perfect. There's times when he snaps at things that seem out of the ordinary, and for a long time, I didn't understand why that happened, but then Isa talked to me one night when Papi was asleep - I think I was maybe fifteen or sixteen at the time - and he told me about a lot of his past and what his personal demons are. It's hard to hear that someone you love and admire has gone through so much in his life.
I don't know all of it though - Papi and Isa's therapist are the only two people who know literally all of it, I think - so I don't know if I could change anything without changing who he is today.
I: Everyone has baggage. For me, that's being unable to communicate with a lot of people, as well as some relationship traumas. For Isa, it's a whole subscription of issues. Would he be the father I know and love without that baggage? Maybe. Maybe not. I mean, if I could take any of that baggage and problems off of him, I would. I just want to make his life easier in any way I can, even if that's not very much.
**Question for the next gen: how would you describe your partner's personal style?**
P: Oh, I guess I can start. Kaisa is a lot more like her aunt than anyone else. She'll kick your ass in a dress without breaking a sweat and then continue on like nothing happened. It's not always easy to say what she'll do in any given situation, but I guess that's what makes her so exciting. She's got a rebelliousness about her as well which is pretty cute. Confidence and passion I think is how I would define her.
S: Not too bad, Petey.
P: How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?
S: Drama queen. \*sticks her tongue out\* Kaisa's not the only one who embodies those qualities and you'd better remember that. But unlike me and Kaisa, Raphael has always been soft. He's all pastels and sweets and smiles just like his dad. I swear that boy couldn't hurt a fly if he tried. He'd apologize to a bug if he stepped on one. \*smiles\* But that's what makes him special. We had some hard times figuring each other out at first, but once I got older and I realised what really mattered to me, I knew that Raphael was the only person I wanted in my life. That sweet, giving spirit that also happens to have an impeccable fashion sense. He makes us all better spiritually and physically. I mean have you see this skirt? \*does a twirl\*
Al: \*breaths in\*
X: Okay, I'm gonna interject myself into this group to this crazy train on track so Leski doesn't get onto tacos or some shit. I would just like it to be noted that I I don't consider myself a part of this particular question as I don't lay claim to anyone else who might be considered a partner. Go on, Lex.
Al: That seemed unnecessary, but okay. Archie is a pretty cool guy and I guess I don't know if we're talking about style like clothes or style like personality because the others seem to be doing a bit of both so I'm gonna try to do the same just to keep with the theming. Archie has a style that's very base masculine, but he's not afraid to throw in some feminine highlights like he'll get his nails done or grow his hair long sometimes though I totally agree that those things shouldn't be gendered and that it's total bullshit that any guy who decides to experiment with looks outside of short hair and neutral is immediately considered to be less of a guy for it. Like it really makes a difference if someone doesn't want to walk around wearing beige their whole life or looking like a scruffy caveman--not that that isn't a legitimate style because it is and it can be hot, but it shouldn't be the default for--
X: Focusing on Archie, Lex, not dismantling the fashion industry.
Al: Right. I'm super proud of how Archie expresses himself and how much more comfortable he's gotten in his own body the older that we've gotten. Like he's stupid good looking--like could wear a plastic shopping bag and pull it off good--and he deserves to express himself however he feels good doing so. Archie usually acts more like a grounding element to me and Xio, and that kind of dependableness is actually really nice because I know I get into shit all the time and I don't always know when I should be stopping and Xio like never helps with that and I mean never like one time when we were kids--
X: Okay, ending that run on sentence before you burst. Any last comments?
Al: Archie's amazing!
S: You know, squirt, I could have done that without you interfering.
X: I'm licensed to handle him. How about you, short stuff?
Ad: Who're you calling short?!
X: You. Now take your turn.
Ad: Bitch.
X: Bitch calling the kettle black.
S: Okay, now I am stepping in. Xio, leave Adrien alone. Adrien, answer the question and ignore Xio.
Ad: Fine. Jae's a typical jock, so that would be no on the fashion sense. He's live in his shorts if he could and he'd probably only do laundry like twice a year. Honestly, he's hopeless. \*sighs\* But he can clean up when he tries. I've only seen him in a tux at prom, but that was a good look. If I could find a way to get him to dress that way more often he might be salvageable. And he's pretty cool so his personality makes up for the sense of fashion most day. Just don't tell him I said that or he'll get even worse
K: Since Pietro started, I’ll kick it off here. Pietro’s fashion style goes so well with his personality – chill, go with the flow, occasionally a little crazy but it works for him. Sometimes he’ll wear the nicest designer gear, and look like he just stepped off the pages of Italian Vogue, but then other times it’s the oddest combination of clothes he found at the thrift shop. You just never know when it comes with Pietro.
R: Hey, there’s nothing wrong with thrift shop clothing! I’ve found many clothes there that I have improved with some alterations.
K: Yeah, but you’re a fashion expert, Raph. ‘Tro wouldn’t know what to do with a sewing machine if you paid him. Anyway, what about Selene? What’s her style like?
R: \*eyes lighting up\* She’s got such an amazing style – it’s sort of like her mama’s punk style, but with a geekier edge to it. It’s sleeveless shirts with video game characters on them, it’s the low-key cosplays that aren’t immediately obvious unless you know Selene and know the things she’s into, the headphones that are almost constantly around her neck. She’s got the same attitude as River, where it’s if you don’t like me and how I dress and how I act, there’s the door, and it’s amazing. She puts up with a lot from me despite that, and I love her for it.
Iz: Aww, you’re cute together.
K: What are you doing here, Iz? You don’t do girlfriends.
Iz: And you don’t mind your own business. \*sticks tongue out\*
K: Respect your elders, brat.
Iz: Or what? You’ll go crying to Isa? Just try that, and I’ll tell him that you were actually visiting Pietro last weekend instead of going to the wrestling convention you told him you were going to? \*smirks\*
K: You wouldn’t.
Iz: Try me. Anyway, I know Xio didn’t actually take part in this, but I’m just going to answer for her since we did make out that one time. It’s close enough.
R: Wait, hold up – you and my little sister hooked up?
Iz: I wish. All she wanted to do was make out, so that’s all we did. \*eye roll\* Anyway, Xio’s such a rebel, and she’s a hundred percent my idol when it comes to self-expression. She’s a little more femme than I’d like my own style to be, but it’s that level of badassery that I aspire to. Like, when she shaved the sides of her hair? So fucking hot.
R: Ew!
Iz: Raph, we never slept together, it’s fine. I fancied her for ages, and we made out, but that’s it. Get a grip.
K: Okay, let’s just move on from all this. Jae, Archie, what about you two?
A: Well...Aleski's whole wardrobe is designed to withstand his lifestyle. Every pair of jeans has a pad in the knees, and like a million holes from where he's caught his clothes on things. \*laughs\* My adorable, parkour boyfriend is a crazy one. It's not my style, but it works for him. The funny thing about Lex though is that he's absent-minded and always running at a million miles an hour, but as soon as he senses that something's wrong with you, he slows down to help you out and make sure you're okay. The most caring hurricane in the world.
J: See, you get that, whereas I get the biggest drama queen in the world. Adrien's super hot though, so I can mostly look past the dramatics and bitching. His style's actually kind of like yours, Arch, where he mixes the masculine and feminine into this style that's so him. I would never say this to him - because he would never let me hear the end of it - but his makeup is always fire, and it takes some serious talent to do what he does. I mean, he's basically his Papi in a shorter version.
**Everyone, describe your ideal date night.**
R: A night home alone, where I can cook dinner for the two of us, and then we watch movies and tv shows all night with a whole ton of snacks, until it's like dawn, and we just fall asleep together.
K: Wow, Raph. That was...oddly specific. Have you and Sel done that?
R: \*grins\* That weekend last summer when Papa and Mami went away to visit Uncle Hadrien, and I was left to look after Xio. She was more than happy to spend the weekend mostly out of the house, so Sel and I had the whole place to ourselves. It was incredible. Anyway, what about you?
K: Hm...I don't know. Maybe taking a motorbike out of the city and doing something totally unexpected. Papi always likes talking about days back when they first started dating Isa, where they would kidnap him from work, and they'd just drive down the highway and find somewhere new to explore, and I always liked hearing those stories. Sounds pretty cool.
W: Ha, and you always say you're nothing like your Papi.
K: Shut up!
W: \*snickers\* My ideal date would involve two boards, some sick ramps, followed by Chipotle and karaoke.
J: Wow, how romantic.
W: \*sticks out tongue\* It's chill, it's cute, and doesn't require a lot of money to have some good old fashioned fun. Can you beat that?
J: Since when did dating become a competition? Well, even if it was, I'd totally win. I'm dating the pickiest dude in the world, and even I manage to keep him happy. \*smirks\* For me though, the ideal date would be the classic dinner and a movie, but a drive-in movie where we could spend the second half of the film making out in the backseat.
W: Horny bastard. Arch, what about you?
A: Oh, me? Erm, I don't really know.... I've been on a lot of amazing dates. With Leks, that is. I don't think I could really define the perfect date, because they've all been perfect to me. Could I skip this question?
K: Sure, sweetie. Bless your heart.
X: \*breathes\*
S: I’d like to go before this gets uncomfortable. So I would say...going to a community theatre production before heading home for a late night dinner. Raph and I used to go to the on campus productions all the time and it was so much listening to talk about the costumes after.
P: Yeah? Why community productions and not professional?
S: Well those are cool too, but the performances put on at a lower level are so unique. It’s a lot of fun to see what kind of crazy stuff they’ll get up to. And the crowds are easier on Raph so I know we’re both enjoying ourselves.
X: Awwww!
S: Shut up, kid. Are you about to say dates are for gross people?
X: I’m non-monogamous, not five. My ideal date is an orgy, obviously.
P: Jesus.
As: Hey, I like this girl.
X: I have more fun with multiple partners, so why not? It can’t count as a date if dinner’s not in the mix?
P: Whatever gets you there, I guess. For me, I really like karaoke bars.
X: And then we all died of shock. The singing man likes to sing!
P: It’s not just about me singing. I like comradely of those nights. Most people need to be drunk before they go, but once everyone is excited and inhibitions are down, it’s like a spontaneous concert with everyone singing along and having a great time. You leaving feeling absolutely electrified. It’s the perfect experience for a date.
X: You know how to make good use of that energy after? \*smirks\*
P: ...I don’t think everyone here wants to hear about that.
Ad: No, they don’t.
X: Fine, you go next then, boujee. You go next.
Ad: Maybe I will, puta.
As: Easy, tiger. We’re having fun. No one needs to get up in each other’s face.
Ad: Whatever. I would love to go out to drag show or some other queer performance. Somewhere I could dress as cute and slutty as I wanted without anyone saying anything. Dancing is also a must. Once we’d both had our fill, we head home for grand finale.
X: Oh, do you can talk about sex, but poor Pietro can’t?
P: I didn’t really want—
Ad: He wasn’t trying to. You were being a perv about it.
As: Alright, ladies, hakun your tatas. No one wants to listen to your bitching. Well, as long as I’ve got the spotlight, I don’t need anything fancy. Dinner at home with both our phones turned off so no one can interrupt us is good enough for me. We can watch movies, fuck around with Izzy’s art supplies, or just fuck. Endless possibilities.
X: I guess that leaves you, Lex.
Al: Oh, me? Well, I’ve been trying to pick one but there’s so many amazing things that I could do with Archie like we really like going for runs together and we go to lots of different restaurants and, well, I’d like to take him to shows, but it’s hard for me to stay still for hours like that so theatre and even long movies aren’t usually something I can do without having the option to get up and walk somewhere. Festivals are fun and so are concerts—
X: Lex, pick one. Don’t think. First that comes to your mind when I say “good date.”
Al: Staying home together watching movies and trancing.
X: ...Damn. You went hard kink with that.
Al: No, not like that. I mean maybe like that, but trances are good for stuff not in the bedroom. They help me to relax, so sometimes I ask Archie to trigger one just so we can both enjoy being together. It’s not like I go catatonic like in the cartoons. It can be kind of like being high without touching anything that could fuck with my meds. It works with them. I mean I wouldn’t say no if Archie wanted to fool around, but it would be just as good hanging out and eating pizza while we watched movies and cuddled. I just...I like getting to be with Archie and actually focus on him instead of getting distracted all the time. It feels like I can give him the attention he deserves.
S: Aw, that’s actually really sweet.
X: Yeah, yeah. Have your cutesy answers. We all know you freaks want it just as much as I get it.

**Question for next gen - when you do watch porn, what type of video do you gravitate towards? Like, what genre or kink?**
Al: I kind of already answered this one last time without trying, so I can get my answer out of the way quickly. I think I've seen a few videos, but I don't really remember them very well. Sitting through any video is kind of hard for me unless there's like a compelling story or something like there to get into or it's just something fun that we can watch in shorter bursts, so I've only watched like a few clips with Xio and I don't think we really sat through them long enough to get that desire effect, but I mean if Archie ever wanted to watch something--like to get in the mood or learn a new thing--I would try harder to sit still for him. He's better at getting me to sit still than anyone else.
P: Yeah, I've watched a few videos. I stumble into most of my relationships, so I've gone through dry spells when none of that happens. Not as much since Kaisa came along, but she's not always there when I'm in the mood so I look for inspiration elsewhere.
Categories? I jump around depending on my mood, so I might watch some cute roleplaying--yes, good videos of it exist--or I might look over at videos with twinks. Best part of being bi is how big your selection gets, right? \*laughs\* I like the flufflier side of porn with harmless storylines. As long as it's hot and everyone's having a good time, it'll do me just fine.
Sel: Do I watch porn? Please. My boyfriend is asexual and I am very much not. Don't get me wrong. I've come to terms with that as a part of our relationship and I love that boy to bits, but it's also meant a personal journey for me finding a way to have that healthy sex life so that it doesn't become an issue. As such I've accumulated a large collection of toys as well as other media to keep things interesting for me.
Now I don't really do the traditional stuff as much. I actually prefer erotica and fanfiction in the written form because I get a good story out of it and it's less distressing if Raph happens to see any of it laying around. He gets so squeamish around sex, I just can't do that to him, unintentionally or not. I also mess around with dating sims and the occasional anime. Not really henti because that stuff tends to be more offensive than anything I would want to see, but there are some anime out there that toe the line between soapy romance and porn that I can get down with.
Give me any of those things and a good vibrator for an afternoon, and I'm a happy woman. Then I take a quick shower and go find Raph to cuddle and it's basically like getting the whole experience.
Ad: Oh god, yes. Getting a date in high school could be really hard and getting them into my room without Papi or Isa noticing was harder, so porn basically saved my fucking life. My usual categories...okay, I've never had to say these out loud...I watched a lot of big cock stuff and...some daddy stuff. \*blushes\* I just...I was curious and big dicks are really hot, okay? It's not like I'm looking to do all that stuff. While Jae is pretty big, so I guess I do do some of it.
Anyway. Now that I'm in a relationship I don't watch as much of it, but it's kind of fun to sometimes get myself hot right before Jae comes home. The look on his face when he comes in and finds me sitting on his bed in nothing but sweatshirt with a plug in...it's really fucking good.
Xio: Yeah, I watch porn. It's a nice, uncomplicated way to get off and it can be great to do with partners who are willing. Nothing that says we have to get all hot over just each other. I like bodies of all kinds, so having a little show before our main event can feel like a nice appetizer. I've gotta Wes to join me a few times so I can use the big TV. Sometimes it leads to stuff, sometimes it doesn't. We both have some fun and that's all that matters.
Personally, I jump around the categories all the time. Like roleplaying might be good today, but I might want something with just girls the next day or a dominatrix pegging the shit out of a guy. So I guess that's to say that I don't have like one thing I like. What can I say? The only choice I've ever made when it comes to sexuality was that I don't want a relationship.
**Twins and Kaisa, was it strange growing up with an ageless parent? Did it ever bother you that your Isa never changed while your Papi has gotten older bit by bit?**
I: Please. You know how many popularity points it gets you at school if your dad's a hot vampire stuck in his twenties? Nearly all my straight female friends are obsessed with him. I'm pretty sure Isa was my friends' collective first crush.
K: Huh, it must be a generational thing, because all my friends in school were super into Papi. I know Selene's always had a thing for them...
I: And yet she ended up with the palest half-vamp in existence. \*snickers\*
K: Anyway, back to the question; it definitely bothers me a little that Papi's aging and Isa isn't. Knowing that one day Papi will die...we have our problems but I would be devastated if they weren't in my life.
I: Yeah, but you know Isa's going whenever Papi does, right? They've got a whole plan for that. \*shrugs\*
K: ....what?
A: Uh, yeah, I don't know if weird is the right word. It's can be weird when people freak out over how old Isa is. Like one of my history teachers got all excited once during parent teacher conferences and they spent like half an hour talking about WWI. It almost got me out of talking about the D I had...
Aging is something I've thought about. Being a half-vamp, I won't live as long forever like Isa could, but I'll live longer than my sisters and most everyone else I know. The only other vampires I know are Raphael and Xio and their dad. I know what Izzy's talking about and so I know Isa won't be around forever. It's more scary than weid. Sometimes I don't know who'll I'll spend the last part of my life with. I try not to think about it too much.
**Aleski and Adrien, who has the best Papi and why?**
Al/Ad: Me obviously!
Ad: What're you talking about? My Papi is way better than Tio Chris!
Al: Says you. My Papi is super smart and really good at helping me figure out my problems and super nice to everyone--
Ad: Not as nice as my Papi! They help everyone they meet who needs help and they're so smart that they educate other people for fun and they're the prettiest person in the whole wide world--
Al: My Papi's handsome too. Aiti is always calling him the most handsome guy in the world and she has the best taste, so she ought to know--
Ad: She married him, stupid! Everyone calls my Papi beautiful and majority obviously rules--
Al: Lots of people call my Papi handsome! Besides, he's super talented at like everything that he does and that's why he's always getting different jobs--
Ad: No one is better than my Papi at helping other people! They make super yummy treats and run a fantastic cafe where anyone can go to be happy and they makes home for other people who lost their homes--
Al: My Papi does all that he does and he helps me every day! He helps me with my homework and my hobbies and learning lots of different stuff like how to cook--
Ad: My Papi is a better cook and teacher! I already know how to makes cookies and brownies and flan and pudding--
Al: Ha, can't make any real food? I help Papi cook for Aiti so that she can relax when she comes home from work--
Ad: Please, my Isa never cooks! Papi has to feed us or we'd all starve--
Al: And my Papi is artistic! He takes the best pictures and everyone knows it and asks him to take all of the important pictures--
Ad: My Papi is an artist with their food! All the food in their shop--
Al: That's Uncle Laurent, not Tio River!
Ad: They both work on it!
Al: Do not!
Ad: Do too!
Al: Do not!
Ad: Do too!
S: Okay, that's enough you two. Time to go to seperate rooms.
Ad: No, I'm not done! \*runs\*
S: Vittusaatana--Adrien, come back here!
Al: You just don't want to admit you're wrong!
I: Act you age, Lex.
Al: But Aiti--!
I: No but's. Papi and Tio River are good friends. They don't want you two arguing over silly things like this. Come on now. You good over there, Seb?
S: I got--\*crashes\* Vittu! Riv!
**Xio, and Aleski, do either of you consider yourselves to be a role model for the twins? Like a fairy gay-mother, so to speak?**
X: God no. I don't do the responsible, looking after kids thing. Except for Leski because he's always like five seconds away from jumping off a cliff to see if he can hang glide with his windbreaker or something stupid like that. But I outsource that duty to Archie as often as I can.
A: But you're good at looking after people, Xio.
X: You don't have to like something to be good at it. I'm good at making toast, but that's not something I actively seek out.
A: I like to try and help when I can. Having the twins around has helped me to learn when to slow down and how to better communicate with others which is a huge part helping to advocate for LGBTQ people like myself. I don't always get it right, but I think I'm getting better. More often than not, I remember to stay on topic when I'm talking which can be a struggle and half.
X: ...Damn, you actually are somewhat easier to understand. I half expected a story to follow that.
A: What? Were we still talking? Because I just remembered that I had those posters that I needed to go get printed for the ice cream social on Friday at school and I think I want to tweak them a bit since the ice cream that Cain drew looked so much better than the clip art Tisha found--
X: And we're back.
**Archie and Jae, seeing as you two were friends/frienemies with your respective partners before you started dating, was it difficult to develop the physical aspect of your relationships? Were there any aspects of intimacy that came easier than others?**
J: It's...complicated. Adri and I had next to no issues falling into bed together - it was all the sexual tension peaking, and fuck, it was incredible beyond words the first time we slept together. When he's really in the mood, it's like fireworks. \*grins\* But actually getting like, emotionally intimate took some time and patience on both our parts. It wasn't easy to shift from being at each other's throats to trusting each other like that.