The Regal Wrangle (episode)

### Roster

The Denimatrix • QC • Tony the Milkman • Valhalla Kadabra • Kid Flippz • Girder • Silver Bro • Pylon • Golden Joe • King John

### Series

City British Wrestling series 1

***The Regal Wrangle***, also known as ***Ready To Wrangle!*** on The Official Podcast Feed, is the third episode of the first series of City British Wrestling.

## Official description

Let's get READY TO WRANGLLLLLLLLLLLLE. 10 Wrestlers. A shot at the CBW Championship on the line. No friends. No allies. No second chances.

## Plot

This episode focused on the annual Regal Wrangle.

### The Denimatrix vs QC

The Denimatrix entered first, crawling out from a zip like a zombie with her denim backup dancers. QC strode to the ring, and after some adjustment, he clotheslined her and kicked her in the ribs, but his foot got stuck in her denim pocket and she twisted his leg to throw him onto the mat. He clapped her on either side of the ears, but impaled one of his hands on her head stilettos in the process. He twisted her into a submissive move, which she seemed to get off on. She put him in the same position with his throat pressed against the top rope. He became weak from this, and she threw him out of the ring. He passed out with a smile on his face.

### The Milkman enters

Tony the Milkman entered with an army of middle-aged women in their nightgowns who quick-changed him into perfect white trunks. He shook The Denimatrix's hand but she slapped him in the face twice, knocked him to the mat and put her foot on his throat. She slipped on his milkiness and he was able to twist her into a reverse DDT. She faked being hurt and tried to break his nose over her knee, but he tripped her and she fell onto the mat.

### The Denimatrix's flashback

The Denimatrix's mind was cast back to another match on the indie circuit for a different promotion. She had lost the match, but the promoter said nobody would buy her as champion. He gave her a cheque, which she used to buy her stilettos.

### Valhalla Kadabra enters

Valhalla Kadabra entered through viscous fog alongside hordes of viking warriors, which seemingly dissapeared. He went straight for Tony, but Tony held up against him. Tony tried to knee him in the loins, but this instead damaged Tony's knee. Valhalla nutted him in the head, splitting his nose, but Denimatrix landed on Valhalla's shoulder and pushed him to the mat. When she tried to flip again, he slammed her against the mat and punched her in the jaw. Tony tried to put Valhalla in a half nelson, but he gripped Tony's arms and dislocated both his shoulders, then went even further until he began to pass out. He suffered three broken ribs.

### Kid Flippz enters

Kid Flippz entered the ring, skating down the ramp from the Titantron and landed on Valhalla Kadabra's head, knocking his helmet off. He cracked his stepfather's shoulders back into place using a medical flip and he and Tony ran at Valhalla for a double clothesline, but Valhalla caught them and hit them several times in the chest. The Denimatrix took out one of her teeth and threw it into Valhalla's mouth, choking him. Kid, Tony, and Denimatrix worked together to try to bring him down, with Kid coming in with his Live and Superkicking move. Valhalla stumbled back and passed out, falling back over the top rope. While Kid was celebrating, Denimatrix tried to push him out of the ring, but he landed on the top rope.

### Tony's flashback

Many years in the past, Tony was on his rounds, and stopped at Doris' house to ring the bell. Doris answered the door, Kid tugging on her skirt. Kid asked what Tony's real job was, and Tony said he was from City British Wrestling but also a milkman. Kid said he wanted to be in CBW when he grew up, and Tony said he would teach him if he learnt another craft. Kid chose skateboarding, and did an impressive flip on a kitchen tray. Tony taught him the other half of the Full Churn on Doris. Kid gave Tony a tiny wooden skateboard he made. Tony then continued his milk round.

### Girder enters

Girder entered, made the sound of a pneumatic drill from her mouth. She tried to punch Denimatrix who caught it, but she punched her a second time. Meanwhile, Tony and Kid were having their flashback in real time. Denimatrix was punched so hard by Girder that she was sent colliding into Kid, who was knocked out of the ring. However, Tony caught him before he hit the floor and launched him back to hit Denimatrix, empowered by the fatherly love he felt for his son. Denimatrix's head cracked against the turnbuckle and she fell unconscious.

### Silver Bro enters

Silver Bro came in, and charged straight for Girder with a shoulder block, but his shoulder snapped upon hitting her and left him able to do another shoulder block. Girder punched him in the face and stamped on his chest. Meanwhile, Doris cheered on her boys after their amazing feat. At the same time, Bro rolled Girder off him and charged at her with a big boot, connecting with her face. He attempted the Datson Double Axe (named after a young boy he went to see in hospital named Andy Datson). Golden Joe was annoyed by the good press Bro got from this. Unfortunately, Girder caught his hands, lifted him up and began punching him. The Denimatrix's eyes snapped open and smashed the heads of Kid and Tony together, and they responded with a Full Curdle, trying to crush her between them, but she pushed Kid out of the way and performed a Split Stunner on Tony. Bro tried to hit Girder in an attempt to get his shoulder back into place but this bounced off, and Girder began punching him repeatedly.

### Pylon enters

As Silver Bro attempted to kick Girder in the vagina, Pylon entered. Girder put Bro down for Pylon to pick him up and punch him instead. However, the punches calloused Bro's abs. He moved out of the way, causing Pylon to accidentally punch Girder across the jaw, and he double clotheslined both of them. The crowd becan to chant for Bro, who did Golden Joe's finishing move, the Rock Solid, as a tribute to him to get them chanting "Joe" again. This failed to affect the audience, who continued to chant for Bro.

### Golden Joe enters

Joe then entered, a little pissed off. He saw the ring was full, and decided to just shake the hands of the audience for a bit. The audience began to chant for Joe again. Meanwhile, Denimatrix tried to throw the Milkman out of the ring. Kid proposed to Tony that they do the Full Churn on Denim. However, Tony began to fall apart from the exertion.

### The Denimatrix's second flashback

The Denimatrix's mind was cast back again to her City British Wrestling tryouts, where she stood in a bland lineup of potential wrestling talent. To impress the rather angry wrestler interviewing people, she pulled out a denim whip with zips on it and tried to crack his pencil and paper out of his hand, but the man caught it. However, this cut his hand, enraging him.

### Back to the Wrangle

Golden Joe was still shaking hands and chatting with the audience. Silver Bro picked up Girder and Joe ran over to finally help him out. They almost tossed Girder out, but Pylon caught her. Bro judo chopped Pylon's arm, and Girder fell then went after Joe who was celebrating his elimination of her. Girder suplexed Joe and stamped on his chest. Bro went over the top rope to save him and was eliminated. He managed to pull Girder off a very disappointed Joe, and told her to leave. Joe ran into the ring and hit an RKJoe on Pylon, then celebrated wildly. Meanwhile, Tony the Milkman continued to churn The Denimatrix until he became pale and passed out, and Kid called for a medic. Fight Nurse came in and shielded Tony from the rest of the wrangle before Kid made the decision to get the nurse to carry him out of the ring. Tony recognised Kid was doing this, then passed out once more.

### King John enters

King John entered on a throne carried by his vassals and immediately went for a King's Landing frog splash on Golden Joe, who countered him with a Joekick. Joe saw Kid Flippz and asked him to help eliminate Pylon, but Kid was too concerned about his dad.

### Kid Flippz' flashback

While helping Joe, Kid's mind went back to a rainy day when he was grounded for grinding on the banisters. He saw Tony arrive on his milk float and give a parcel to his mum without coming to see him. Weeks later on Kid's birthday, he went down to the kitchen and opened the parcel from Tony which contained a tie-dye t-shirt that was too big for him with a note that said "you'll grow into it," with an invitation to try out for CBW on the back.

### Back to the Wrangle

With this memory, Kid was able to run up Joe's chest, grab Pylon by the head and hurl her over the top rope. Kid saw Doris and they nodded at each other. Joe took the mic to remind everyone that they were going to be at the Colossal Tussle.

### The Precious Metals' flashback

Golden Joe and Silver Bro were having a backyard wrestling match on a trampoline. Joe was impressed by Bro's knowledge of moves that he learnt from tapes they ordered from Mave Deltzer in a magazine. Bro tried to encourage Joe, who was feeling insecure about his ability. Platinum Pete watched this unfold.

### Back to the Wrangle

The Denimatrix kicked Kid Flippz out of the ring by the back of his head while he was distracted by his mum, and he landed on the floor before running straight up the ramp to find his dad. King John went for another King's Landing move on Golden Joe, but Denimatrix pushed him off the top rope, leaving only Joe and Denim.

### The Denimatrix's third flashback

One more time, The Denimatrix's mind was cast back to when she was alone in a gym, practicing cardio by herself. Various members of City British Wrestling development appeared from the shadows to say "this is no place for you," and advanced on her.

### Back to the Wrangle

While Silver Bro was giving Golden Joe a pep talk, The Denimatrix struck him across the chest. He tried to get her in a headlock but she used the zippers and stilettos on the side of her head to grate her way out and jab him in the ribs. He went for a Full Golden but she slipped away and did the Double Denim, which was a full nelson in return. She forced hs throat against the ropes while calling him a "little golden boy," then tried to toss him over the ropes, but Bro caught him. Joe used the Golden Shower, and she responded with the same move back.

### The Denimatrix's fourth flashback

The Denimatrix's mind was cast back to when she was given a chance and won a belt, when Cruel Hewel Hollywell gave her a chance in tryouts, and to when she had beaten up the dozen members of City British Wrestling development in the gym.

### Ending the Wrangle

The Golden Shower caused Joe to be hit out of the ring, humiliated, and Denimatrix won. Bro comiserated with Joe, who was angry he got silver and not gold.