Episode 1 – Breakfast Meal

> *The adventure begins! We meet the players and their characters, who are surely destined to become the best of friends! Introducing Lolani the city guide, Dweezil Zappa the effete dwarvish noble, fantasy-Batman Shira Snow, the orc with a white picket fence Ragna, and the Worlds Greatest Sculptor Crispin Ascalon.*
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## Quick Recap

### Players

Christian(DM), Brittney(Ragna), John(Shira), Raphael(Dweezil), Roxanne(Lolani), Vinny(Crispin)

### Quick Recap

Pilot Episode - Everyone wakes up and has their Breakfast Meals!

### Current Quest

None

"Episode 1 - Breakfast Meal" is the first episode of the Pretend Wizards Podcast.

Next Episode

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This article contains spoilers.

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## Episode Summary

Welcome to the city-state of Atla. A bustling megalopolis situated around the Atlan Bay. Its large unwieldy size gives way to problems that can’t be solved by the overwhelmed local government and therefore it’s up to mercenaries and troubleshooter groups, guns for hire, to provide the services the people need. The once legendary Hero Mortimer Crim has mysteriously reappeared on the scene and has made a call to action for ambitious adventurers to join his troubleshooting group. And it is here that we are introduced to our heroes.

Lolani Arbor awakens at the Benbow Inn and is greeted by the Innkeeper, Nora Benbow who greets the young wanderer with a warm bowl of porridge while simultaneously questioning her hygiene.

Shira Snow is a driven and vengeful young Wood Elf living in her family estate. It is here that we are introduced to her butler, the ultimate butler, Nettles. Due to the loss of her family wealth, there are only a few retainers on board including Nettles, a gardener, a maid, and a stablemaster. Shira takes a moment to investigate her family's finances, the first step in an ever complex web of mystery that will lead Shira to the heart of Atla. She discovers that Alexander Copperpot of the Coppershine Estate has exchanged large sums of money with her family and makes a mental note of this information as a possible lead. Yet with a need for funds and resources, Shira rides her mount, Aust Nailo to apply to be a troubleshooter.

Ragna the Red is a half-orc barbarian who maintains a thuggish exterior while secretly maintaining an immaculate household in a posh neighborhood. A consummate fan of the hero Mortimer Crim, Ragna eagerly prepares to meet his hero. Ragna plots and frets about how to seem "like [he] doesn't give a shit but he gives all the shits". Going through an overly complex plan to make himself seem rougher and dirtier and going out of his way to make it seem like he doesn't live in Mayfield.

Dweezil Zappa is currently 'slumming it by being wealthy instead of aristocratic'. The son of a military General who is currently renting out a spare mansion. Dweezil is a spoiled playboy living an opulent and resplendent lifestyle. His manservants pamper and dress him constantly as he moves about. Dweezil reveals that he makes unreasonable requests of his servants asking his head Butler, Rolf, to replace the local wildlife with prettier birds.

Crispin Ascalon is a poor artist living in the Guild Hall living a carefree life partying and drinking. He convinces himself that his life choices are necessary to find inspiration. He considers himself better at art (and partying) than his peers. Crispin realizes that he doesn't have any money to maintain this lifestyle and his art doesn't pay for itself so upon hearing of Crim's call he has decided to answer. Before heading out, Crispin briefly addresses his art, an unfinished sculpt of a head with one detailed eye that he adds slight details to.

Ragna is the first to arrive in Helm on his way to Crim's headquarters, but he is frustrated to encounter a large throng of adventurers who are all eager to join Crim's quest as well.

A full transcript of the episode can be found here.

### Breakfast Meals

 Gruel, Roasted Chicken and Grapefruit
 Raw Eggs
 Quail Eggs
 Swigs of Alcohol

## Notable NPCs Introduced

* Nora Benbow, Innkeeper and owner of Benbow Inn
* Nettles, Shira's Head Butler
* Aust Nailo (Mount), Shira's faithful horse
* Mrs. Norbit (mentioned), Ragna's nosy and racist neighbor
* Roban (Hair Stylist), Dweezil's personal stylist, a man devoted to the art of hair
* Roban (Palomino Mount), Dweezil's faithful fat pony, named after his capable stylist
* Rolf Tarot, Dweezil's head Butler

## Burroughs

* Helm
* Mayfield
* Mafic Road
* Tartan Quarter
* Loggerspoole

## Trivia

* This Episode aired on the 2nd March, 2014, marking the beginning of the Pretend Wizards Podcast
* At this point in time, Shira Snow is a 6'7 Wood Elf. This will eventually change.
* John's favorite meme is Fuck Yeah Seaking.
* Dwarves are established to have a culture similar to Spanish culture.
* Christian establishes that they prefer to make it difficult for player characters to die unless the players decide to let it happen. (Though dismemberment may be an option if players are eager enough)