MinionJoe

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(This is an excerpt from the Book of Joe, one of the sacred writings of the Sporum)

"I have spoken openly to the world," MinionJoe stated. "I always taught at GD or at the feedback, where all the sporumers come together. I said nothing in secret. Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said about EA"

When MinionJoe said this, one of the SM's nearby struck him in the face. "Is this the way you answer EA?" he demanded.

"If I said something wrong," MinionJoe replied, "testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?" Then the SM's sent him to Cactus, the community manager.

Cactus came to them and asked, "What charges are you bringing against this man?"

"If he were not a criminal," they replied, "we would not have handed him over to you."

Cactus said, "Take him yourselves and judge him by your own law."

"But we have no right to Permaban anyone," the SMs objected. This happened so that the words MinionJoe had spoken indicating the kind of ban he was going to get would be fulfilled.

Cactus then went back inside the palace, summoned MinionJoe and asked him, "Are you the troll of the sporum?"

"Is that your own idea," MinionJoe asked, "or did others talk to you about me?"

"Am I a regular poster?" Cactus replied. "It was your people and your SM's who handed you over to me. What is it you have done?"

MinionJoe said, "My posts are not of this forum. If they were, my friends would fight to prevent my ban by the SM's. But now my posts are in another place."

"You are a troll, then!" said Cactus.
MinionJoe answered, "You are right in saying I am a troll. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."

"What is truth?" Cactus asked. With this he went out again to the SM's and said, "I find no basis for a charge against him. But it is your custom for me to release to you one troll. Do you want me to release 'the troll of the sporum'?"

They shouted back, "No, not him! Give us Coupon12!" Coupon12 had taken part in spam.

Then Cactus took MinionJoe and had him warned. The SM's twisted together a crown of sporn and put it on his head. They went up to him again and again, saying, "Hail, king of the trolls!"

Once more Cactus came out and said to the SM's, "Look, I am bringing him out to you to let you know that I find no basis for a charge against him." When MinionJoe came out wearing the crown of sporn, Cactus said to them, "Here is the man!"

As soon as the SM's and sporumers saw him, they shouted, "Ban! Ban!"
But Cactus answered, "You take him and ban him. As for me, I find no basis for a charge against him."

The SM's insisted, "We have a law, and according to that law he must be banned, because he is trolling"

When Cactus heard this, she was even more afraid, and she went back inside the stickies. "Where do you come from?" she asked MinionJoe, but MinionJoe gave him no answer. "Do you refuse to speak to me?" Cactus said. "Don't you realize I have power either to free you or to ban you?"

MinionJoe answered, "You would have no power over me outside of this forum. The one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin."

From then on, Cactus tried to set MinionJoe free, but the SM's kept shouting, "If you let this man go, you are no friend of Will Wright. Anyone who claims to be a troll opposes Will Wright."

When Cactus heard this, she brought MinionJoe out and sat down on the judge's seat at a place known as the GD . It was the day of Preparation of spore day.
"Here is your troll," Cactus said to the SM's.

But they shouted, "Take him away! Take him away! Ban him!"
"Shall I ban your troll?" Cactus asked.
"Troll!" the SM's answered.

Finally Cactus handed him over to them to be banned.

So the SM's took charge of MinionJoe. Carrying his own banhammer, he went out to the place of the permaban. Here they permabanned him, and with him two others.

SMCopper had a notice prepared to explain his permaban. It read "MINIONJOE PERMABANNED BECAUSE OF SIX STRIKES." Many of the sporumers read this statement, for the place where MinionJoe was banned was in the forum, and the sign was written in english. Some sporumers protested to Copper, "Do not permaban him after six strikes, some of us have been banned more then that."

Copper answered, "What I have written, I have written."

Near the permaban of MinionJoe stood his supporters, including some sporumers, and the emoticones. When MinionJoe saw his supporters there, and the emoticones whom he liked standing nearby, he said to his supporters, "Dear friends, here is your troll," and to the Emoticones replied, "Here is your fellow trolls." From that time on, the emoticones took care of the trolling.

Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the prophecy would be fulfilled, MinionJoe said, "I am thirsty." An emoticone was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a cone, and lifted it to MinionJoe's lips. When he had received the drink, MinionJoe said, "It is finished." With that, he was banned and lost his account. Now it was the day before sporeday, and the next day was to be a special sporeday. Because the sporumers did not want the banned left on the sporum during the spore day, they asked Cactus to have the threads deleted and posts taken down. The SM's therefore came and deleted the spam threads. But when they came to MinionJoe's thread and found that it was already dead, they did not delete it. Instead, one of the SMs deleted MinionJoe's posts. The poster who saw it has given testimony, and his testimony is true. He knows that he tells the truth, and he testifies so that you also may believe. These things happened so that the prophecy would be fulfilled: "Not one of threads will be deleted," and, as another prophecy says, "They will look on the one they have banned."

Later, Davo asked Cactus for the unbanning of MinionJoe. Now Davo was a disciple of the Emoticones, but secretly because he feared the SMs. With the emoticones support, he came and protested the banning. They was accompanied by Shadesofmoose, a friend of MinionJoe. Davo brought a mixture of signatures and catchphrase. Protesting Joe's banning, the mixed their arguments with the logic, in strips of truth. This was in accordance with S&S argument customs. At the place where MinionJoe was banned, there was a signature, and in the signature a new banner, in which no one had ever seen before. Because it was the sporeday and since MinionJoe's posts were burried, it remained hidden until the protesters bumped it up, bringing it to light. The Protest was locked.

Then the sporumers went back to their business, but the supporters stood outside the locked post crying. As they wept,they looked over the posts and saw the Emoticones.

The Emoticones asked them, "Good sporumers, why are you crying?"

"They have taken our MinionJoe away," they said, "and we don't know where he went." At this, they read the emoticone posts and saw MinionJoe being mentioned there, but they did not realize they were still talking to him.

"Sporumers," the Emoticones said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"
Thinking they were normal sporumers, the other sporumers said, "Friends, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him."

The Emoticones said to them, "Our forum."
They turned toward them and cried out in English, "Sweet Jesus!!" (which means Sweet Jesus).

The emoticones said, "Do not hold on to him here, for you have not yet entered the Emoticone Forum. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am a disciple of MinionJoe and the Emoticones "

These Sporumers went to the rest with the news: "I have seen where Joe is!" And they told them that they had said these things to them.

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