Episode 13: World Wide Watch

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Idea Details

* Idea: World Wide Watch
* Creator of idea: Drew
* Purpose of idea: Well one of the things that I've found when we've been doing this podcast, we've been creating these ideas, and we're trying to make these ideas into actual reality. We want to change the world. We want a real World Wide Train. Well one of the issues when trying to make all of these things into reality is you're dealing with different time zones, we're talking to people across the nation, across the world. We're trying to make things happen all over the world. All over this globe. All over this globe hell. It's not just North America-wide. It's worldwide. So we're dealing with different time zones, and it makes it difficult because you know, today - we're recording this on a Wednesday. Here's what I want: I know for a fact that it's Wednesday in Calgary, where I live. Well it's World Wide Watch. Because what I'm proposing is that we have one giant watch that's strapped to the moon as if the moon was World Wide Wrist. And it would display the time, it would be the same time for everybody on the planet. It's not gonna display the same time. It's gonna display one time for the entire planet.
* Timetable: No timetable was given. World Wide Watch will require World Wide Potluck, World Wide Web, and The World Wide Boy to already be implemented, and will allow for the involvement of World Wide Lottery, so it will presumably be enacted soon thereafter, as soon as a second moon is finished being built.
* Idea details:
	+ The tagline for World Wide Watch will be "Don't believe me, just watch."
	+ To account for the fact that the moon spins, World Wide Watch will be loose on the wrist that is the moon. This will ensure that the same time is displayed for the entire planet.
	+ For times of the day, such as the afternoon, where the moon cannot be seen from Earth, a second moon will be built in space that has a video feed of the World Wide Watch on the first moon via drone. This second moon will always be visible from Earth. There will thus be two World Wide Watches, one on each moon: Day Moon and Night Moon.
	+ World Wide Watches will both have different styles from each other, and will allow for the style and watchfaces to be switched out.
	+ One of the prizes for winning World Wide Lottery will be to put a picture of your wife on the watchface of one of World Wide Watches.
		- Note: This is likely in reference to World Wide Scratchers which give prizes like improved healthcare or to get a pothole fixed in your neighborhood, rather than the main World Wide Lottery, which gives a cash prize for winning.
	+ The unified global time zone will be set to Calgary time.
		- Note: This is similar to how World Wide Dollar will be equivalent to CAD.
	+ World Wide Watches will not have minute or second hands, but will keep the clicking that ticks off each second. If you want to know what minute or second it is, you will have to count.
	+ World Wide Watches will be a 24-hour analog clock, with 12 at the bottom where 6 would be. This will not involve making a bigger moon, you'll just put more numbers in the circle.
	+ To account for the fact that it will be different times of the day in different places under a unified global time zone, people will still wake up when they are accustomed to wake up, but the time will now be whatever the time is in Calgary.
		- Note: It is unknown how this will interact with the night school at World Wide Train (verb), which involves people taking World Wide Train (noun) to the World Wide Train Adult Education Center during the nighttime of their home time zone.
	+ One possible use of second moon will be to cause a day eclipse that blocks out the sun and then use some reflections to make it look like the sun is coming up everywhere on the globe. This would allow for everyone to have day and night at the same time around the globe, all of which would be in the same unified time zone. This would involve simple mirror tricks after building a second moon, and will require taking out a little bit more of a bank loan.
	+ It will be mandatory that everyone in the world will wake up at 6 am and have World Wide Lunch at World Wide Potluck, then will fend for themselves for dinner, then will have World Wide Bedtime which will be at 1 am. If someone does not stay awake to the required World Wide Bedtime, they are a pussy. Some possible ways to stay up later include eating a lot of candy.
	+ Implementing this will remove the need for doing math to figure out what time it is in different parts of the world. This will also require Australians to no longer speak.
	+ World Wide Wakeup Call will help wake up everyone in the world at the mandatory wakeup time of 6 am. This will involve having a fourth can in each household which will go to a real rooster. The rooster will be raised and taken care of by The World Wide Boy, Tavis, as part of his responsibilities on his dude ranch. He will say "This is my rooster". The rooster will be replaced regularly because they are dying frequently right now from a rooster disease going around, so they will not be named. There will be handlers to ensure that the rooster does not come close to anyone and risk spreading bird flu to them.
	+ It will also be mandatory for everyone in the world to turn their phones off at 11:30 pm, and then read a book or magazine, or spend time with your wife or husband. This will be the World Wide Winddown.
	+ There will also be an optional World Wide Brunch in mornings that you can line up for if you want.
	+ World Wide Watches will have batteries and will need to be wound up in order to function.
	+ Any form of timekeeping other than World Wide Watches will be considered highly illegal contraband. It will be required for everyone in the world to hand in their timekeeping devices to be melted down and made into guns for the World Wide Train (noun).
	+ World Wide Watches will have an outer circle on the watch to be used for the sole purpose of if you're swimming laps.

## Devil Play

* No one played devil in this episode, although Josiah was teste for the entire episode.

## Notable Events

* Josiah and Drew discussed the first U.S. presidential debate between incumbent Donald Trump and challenger Joe Biden. Drew voiced his hope that U.S. citizens vote; Josiah remained silent on the issue both times it was brought up in the episode.
* This episode's breathing exercise was a blinking exercise led by Drew. This despite the fact that he had previously stated he does not like to blink due to a valid fear that he passes out when his eyes are closed, as revealed in Episode 11: The World Wide Boy. Interestingly, that was also the episode that introduced the breathing exercise as a start-of-show ritual. During this week's blinking exercise, you are not allowed to breathe. Josiah and Drew also stated their desire that all listeners follow along with the exercise each week, and that they also follow the Globe Hell Warning Patreon. The exercise involved blinking once, then blinking once again, then blinking twice rapidly, then blinking seven times rapidly, then blinking once and keeping eyes closed. It was then revealed that Drew made this blinking exercise up as he went along, whereas Josiah went on a spiritual journey to come up with his "last time". This despite the fact that Nate Ruess came up with the breathing exercise in Episode 12: World Wide Anthem Featuring Mr. Worldwide Nate Ruess.. It was at this point that Josiah stated his discomfort with the blinking exercise and told Drew they were instead doing a breathing exercise while blinking really fast while they did it. The breathing exercise was to blow out until fully out of breath, then say "I love you", then breathe in deep until fully breathed in, then say "I hate you". This was repeated multiple times over a 10-hour video of crying babies. Drew then stated his discomfort with the crying babies, but still persisted in finishing the breathing exercise. In the end, he agreed that the exercise did help.
	+ Note: The weekly breathing exercise would later be named Seg-Mind in Episode 14: World Wife.
* Josiah noted that Drew's original idea for this episode was "pure eugenics", but Josiah implored Drew to change it.
	+ Note: Drew has stated that this is not necessarily true.
* Josiah claimed that he could not tell the difference between a clip of a crying baby and the sound of Drew speaking.
* World Wide Globe
* World Wide Wednesday
* World Wide Wrist
* World Wide Bedtime
* World Wide Wakeup Call
* World Wide Winddown
* World Wide Brunch

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "Do we have elections in Canada?"
* "[On the topic of Drew edging] When do you let out the nasty load of rope? Where do you put that seed?"
* "And we're gonna learn about today is one of Drew's ideas. And it has gone through some touch-ups and edits, because it started off as just pure eugenics, but now I think it's a little bit less inherently racist. So Drew, please let us know about what your idea is and please do not talk about perfect human breeding please."
* "I told you that in confidence that you are my Playmate Of The Year for this year."
* "I'm not playing baby, I'm playing devil."
* "Read Reddit cool."
* "I'm sitting behind you like a ape picking little nits out of your hair and eating them for my dinner."
* "That's Mr. Terpretation, thank you very much."
* "Drew, you told me this idea earlier and I helped you make it a little bit less racist for our listeners. But there's one issue I'm having is that I actually meant to look this up, but I think the moon goes around Earth. Or spins? Or Sun spin? Something moves up there, and so how will you - if it's actually a - and I like the idea of it being a watch and we'll talk - I'd like to ask you about watch styles. But I'm trying to understand what about when moon move watch where go."
* "I'm asking you for real: does the moon move? [Drew: yes] So then how do we make sure Watch move - Watch no move?"
* "You're one of very few people of the billions living on Earth who don't have a wife."
* "So everything on the Earth will be in Calgary time. I'm trying to understand ... what were you thinking in terms of night and morning time in different country - in different country where dark is different. What about nighttime, morning time. Are we expecting people to adopt the same life? I mean it's lunch at the same time? Cause we - World Wide Lunch, I mean that's a thing. World Wide Potluck. Is everyone gonna be doing the same time?"
* "You're no better than a squished piece of gum on the bottom of my boot. I love gum though, is the thing. When I scrape that gum off, it takes a little bit of dirt and debris off of my boot with me and I briefly think as I'm throwing it into the trash, 'Eh that was kind of good', and then I throw it in the trash and go about my day."
* "[On the topic of whether Josiah has eaten Drew like a metaphorical piece of gum scraped off the bottom of his boot] Well let me just tell you: yes I have done that. And it just stays in my stomach undigested for seven years. And it sits there swishing around with the ooshy-gooshy gooey innards, and it says 'Ooh I wonder what will happen next, when will he let me out of here?', and he loves every little second of it."

### Drew

* "[On the topic of where he puts his seed after edging] Keep it in. I let it go back in. What comes out can come back in."
* "Do not play the baby."
* "It's not going to be my opinion if I get my way."
* "My opinion will be a fact. It won't be an opinion. You understand?"
* "[On the topic of Josiah sitting behind him like a ape picking little nits out of his hair and eating them for his dinner] That's actually a - that's a cute image. Maybe we should actually, as like a Globe Hell promo picture, we could go and get professional pictures taken of me covered in bugs."
* "You're trying to play devil, but you're trying to play mega devil."
* "[On the topic of jacking off on the toilet] I don't do that, Josiah. That's for you. That's for people like you. Masturbators. I'm clean. I stopped doing that long time ago. [Josiah: You said that you do it and then you put it back in] Oh yeah, I forgot about that."
* "I was just wondering if you ever ate gum off the bottom of your shoe."
* "[In response to Josiah's metaphor that Drew is a piece of gum on Josiah's boot] I'm just wondering if - I'm just wondering if you took that piece of gum - Josiah, will you let me finish? Will you let me finish?? I'm just wondering if you put that gum in your mouth and just swished it around in there, sucked on it for a little bit, and swallowed it."