Whose Side Are You On Mrs Peel?

Whose Side Are You On Mrs Peel? is the eleventh chapter in the Wombles Four.

Mrs Peel finally managed to get the giant womblet off of her.  She got the train back to Scotland.  She went in SCAR HQ.  As soon as she did she saw Venus speaking through a microphone.  At this she worked out that someone was trying to pass the tests. “Who’s in there?” she asked. Venus spun around surprised. “Who’s in there?” repeated Mrs Peel, louder this time.  “Well…Steed.” Said Venus.  “Then take him out!”  “But, well, he’s good.”  “I don’t care!  Take him out?”  “By the way, what’s been happening back in London?”  Venus changed the subject quickly.  “Cathy made me feel a bit light-headed.” Replied Mrs Peel, referring to her hair being cut off.  “But take John out of there!”

Steed could hear the conversation.  “Mrs Peel! What’s going on?” he said.

Mrs Peel took the microphone from Venus.  “I’m back with SCAR, that’s what!” she said.

“Why ever would you do that?” said Steed.

“Because,” replied Mrs Peel. “All that happens when I’m good is that I get kicked, and squashed by womblets, and knocked out, and thanks to that wife of yours, I no longer have any hair!”

Steed was surprised. “You’re snapping a lot at me!”

“Sorry John, I didn’t mean to, but I’m rather annoyed right now.  Anyway, I command you to, um, I mean, please will you join SCAR?”

“Never!  Go back good again!”

“Um, um, that’s the only thing I won’t do for you!”

Cathy suddenly received a text on her phone.  It was from Steed, and it said,

*Venus is making me pass deadly tests and Mrs Peel’s gone back to the other side.  You need to come to SCAR HQ quickly!*

Venus handed Mrs Peel a wig. Mrs Peel rejected the clown wig. Venus tried a Viking helment with pretend hair.  Mrs Peel threw it back.  Venus tried lots of other wigs.  A hippy wig, curly wig, big wig, womble wig, wig wam, Frankenstein wig, pink wig, green wig, blue, purple wig all were rejected.  Finally Venus found Tara’s long wig.  Mrs Peel put it on.  “You like even more like Mrs Peel, Mrs Peel!” said Venus.  “Really!  I can be really evil again then!” replied Mrs Peel then knocked out Venus.

Mrs Peel pulled a big red lever and Steed came shooting down a slide and into the control room.  “Mrs Peel!  Thank you!” said Steed.  Mrs Peel just stood before him with an RPG launcher.  Steed was alarmed but tried to stay calm.  “We both know that pulling the trigger will destroy SCAR HQ and everyone here except you and Venus.  Hang on.” Steed had just realised Mrs Peel’s plan. He edged towards door.  Mrs Peel kept the RPG launcher trained on him the whole time.

Slowly he reached the door then there was loud clang from above.  A purple tentacle ripped through the wall.  He quickly ran out the building.  Mrs Peel followed him.  As soon as they went out she dropped the RPG.  Steed was confused.  “It was an act.” Said Mrs Peel.  “I have decided to go back to SCAR, but I’ll never be able to bring myself to kill you.” “Um…oh.  Well please be good again.”  “Oh alright but can I at least kill Cathy?”  “Definitely not!”

“Here here!” shouted Cathy who had just arrived.  Cathy grabbed the purple tentacle and tied it round Mrs Peel.  Rover roared his loudest roar and the giant octopus lumbered off with Mrs Peel.  “Well done Cathy!” said Steed.  “Not so fast!” said Venus whilst pointing the RPG launcher at Cathy.

The Mr Chips on the screen (who was the new Mr Chips) Opened a door (on the screen).  Outside it was really dark.  The place he was in was white.  “Say what you see!” he said.  The other Mr Chips (the one Cathy had met) buzzed and guessed, “Blackout!”  “That’s right!” replied the one on the screen.  Everything went black.

Mr Chips opened his eyes. He was in a big wire basket.  He looked around.  Below him was sizzling oil.  A woman in an apron walked up to the giant frier.  “One portion of Mr Chips coming up!” she said evilly.  “I do have a name!” shouted Mr Chips.  “What is it?” asked the evil woman.  “Fishand” he replied.  “OK then one portion of Fishand Chips coming up?  Any last requests?”

Steed was thinking how terrible it would be if he lost Cathy.  He had to do something.  Venus had the RPG launcher but what did he have.  He started to think it through.  *I’ve got my clothes, shoes, hat but no weapons. Hang on what about my, my umbrella!* Steed started to dance while twirling his umbrella around.  The others all formed a dance troupe behind him.  They might die but at least they would have fun first!

“Um yes I have one last request” said Mr Chips.  “In fact two actually.”  “And those are?” asked the evil woman.  “First you don’t kill me, second you tell me who you are”  “Your second wish is granted!  Not your first!”  “Go on then, who are you?”  “Someone who everyone thinks is dead.  But I was brought back to life by SCAR.”  “Ok, but who?”  “Patience, Mr Chips, patience.  I am one of the many avengers that turned evil.  But the only one who didn’t turn back good.  I am someone who has worked in Russia with Lord Omsk.  Worked it out yet?”  “No!  I’ve never heard of the avengers!  What are you talking about?”

“My name is Tara Keel. I used to be Tara King.”  “Oh ok then.”  Mr Chips suddenly realised he was almost in the sizzling oil.  “In fact I have a third request” he said.  “Yes?” Tara was getting annoyed now.  Mr Chips replied, “My last request is…Say what you see!” He went weird again.  He suddenly had a packet of cupcakes, which he threw into the oil.  Then he held up a sign that said, “SOLD!”  “Selling like hot cakes” said Tara.  “But this is no time to play Catchphrase!”  “That’s right!” shouted Mr Chips, and went so high that he went up through the chimney and landed on the roof!

“Why are you dancing around?” asked Cathy.  “Did you realise that we are all about to be killed?”  “Yes I did realise that” said Steed.  “Then aren’t you going to do anything about it?”  “Dancing around was supposed to help.”  Cathy didn’t reply.  She was looking a bit surprised.  “Look!” she said to Steed after a bit.  Steed looked to see Venus dancing the same dance.  She was twirling her RPG launcher like an umbrella.  The Avengers, Freckles, Rover and Bungo hurried away.  The window cleaners suddenly appeared from thin air.  Everyone got into a van.  The vans suddenly disappeared and they headed back towards HQ.  “Hang on Cathy!” said Steed as they approached London.  “What?” asked Cathy.  “Well you’re the Queen!  Buckingham Palace can become the greatest Steed Manor there has ever been!”  They headed straight for the empty palace.

When they got there, Cathy said, “Can I have my own bit to re-open the Cafeeee?”  “Well you’re the queen” replied Steed.  “You’re allowed to do whatever you want with this building.” “Oh ok then” said Cathy.