Sheev Palpatine

### Affiliations

The Dark Side, Jar Jar High Space Invaders, Coruscant Planetary Jar Jar Court, Chaos at the Cant!na,  I <3 MILFs University

## Game Appearances

### PC

 Mice and Madness,  Jar Jar Pizzeria,  Jar Jar High,  Jar Jar High: Scooby Doo,  Jar Jar High: Band Camp, The Verdict

### NPC

 Defamation and Dismemberment,  Exes and Executions,  Troopers and Tribulations

## Biographical Information

### Cause/Place of Death

Stabbed in his home by Defense Attorney with his own lightsaber

### Partners

Jar Jar Binks-Palpatine (Husband), Sunny Daise (Ex-Wife), CUC-K07D (Ex-Boyfriend), Syla Stayr (Ex-Girlfriend), Jane Finnel (Ex-Girlfriend), Ewan McGregor (Ex-Husband)

### Relatives

Maree Zepal (Mother), Cosinga Palpatine (Father), Eliisa Palpatine (Son), Lorn Killian (Adopted Daughter), Darth Vader (Son)

### Occupation

Senator (Former), Chancellor (Former), Judge (Former), Emperor of the Galaxy

## Evolutions

### Band Kid Sheev

#### Personality

A simp who ends up with crushes on basically all of his friends. He's trying his best, but he's *a bit much* and he doesn't know when to quit.

#### Appearance

He has brown hair that he keeps pulled back in a stupid little ponytail. He wears glasses up until he is cast in Spheathers, and begins learning to use to Force to give himself LASIK. He always wears his letterman jacket. Is not attractive.

### Hot College Palpatine

#### Personality

Overconfident and charming motherfucker (literally). Gained confidence and the ability to flirt in college. He is very narcissistic and rarely prioritizes anyone but himself.

#### Appearance

Infinitely hotter than high school. Shoulder length curly brown and blonde hair, facial hair, always wears a red button up that is definitely too unbuttoned.

### Judge Palpatine

#### Personality

Follower of the Dark Side and highly focused on maintaining power. He has no ability to express his emotions and puts on sunglasses almost every time he cries.

## History

### High School

Sheev Palpatine, or "Band Kid Sheev" as everyone called him, attended Jar Jar High School for four years. He was first trumpet in the JJH wind ensemble and section leader of the trumpet section of the marching band. He briefly dates Syla Stayr for two weeks after she asks him out.

The third JJC one shot, Jar Jar High, Band Kid Sheev ends up in detention after he submits the imperial march as a suggested fight song for the school. His lyrics were deemed to be "too violent and upsetting," and so in protest, he marched through the halls and played it at full volume. During the one shot, he helped save the school dance and was then Syla immediately broke up with him over text while sitting right next to him to ask out Dash Cardin instead. Sheev also had a crush on Dash Cardin, but hopelessly pined after him and Dash was oblivious.

In late Sophomore year, Band Kid Sheev was cast in Spheathers as Ram/Ram's Dad with Dash Cardin as Kurt/Kurt's dad. He was way too enthusiastic about getting to do a stage kiss with Dash. It also reminded him, unfortunately, of the dream he had in Freshman year of himself and Alyla performing Dead Girl Walking. It haunted him for weeks.

In Junior Year, he solves a mystery with the other Jar Jar High teens in Jar Jar High: Scooby Doo

### College

In the summer before high school, he attempted to reinvent himself by bleaching his hair and erasing all traces of the name "Band Kid Sheev," but this didn't actually do much for him.

When he attends his first college party at I <3 MILFs University, he meets Cuckbot. He hooks up with cuckbot and due to the fact that he fucked one (1) time, he miraculously becomes hotter and more charismatic, essentially a reboot on his personality and appearance.

He starts the band Chaos at the Cant!na as their lead trumpet player along with Gem Sexton, Shreds jr., Derrick Darte, Defense Attorney, and Mira Pavan.

He was also adopted Lorn Killian with Defense Attorney while in college.

He majored in political science and minored in film.

### The 33 years

After graduating college in the 33 years before becoming Emperor, Palpatine began his career in politics and hopped around between relationships and marriages. Whenever he remarried, he cheated on that person with Cuckbot (see relationships).

He rises to power in the senate and eventually manipulates his way into the position of Emperor.

### As Emperor

Palpatine claims the throne and, following the destruction of New Centrif, enters into a relationship with Jar Jar Binks. After a year, Eliisa is born without Palpatine's knowledge.

In the original court case, Palpatine presided as Judge over the Coruscant Planetary Jar Jar Court for the case of whether or not Jar Jar fucks. The verdict was yes, he does, as Jar Jar and Palpatine's relationship was revealed while Jar Jar was on the stand. The prosecutor, Ratticus Finch, questioned whether the relationship was healthy, which prompted Palpatine to kill him with Force Lightning.

In the first one shot, Mice and Madness, Palpatine assembles a crew to help him find Jar Jar when he disappears. He discovers Jar Jar has been soulless when they find his soul in the Jar Jar jar, and are eventually able to reunite it with his body. He is struck with the realization that Jar Jar never truly loved him over the 19 years they were together due to being soulless, and that he was never told about their son. They resolve to go to Jar Jar's Pizzeria and talk about it. He and Jar Jar also get married on the spot. After the rest of the party leaves for the pizzeria, Palpatine stays behind and force chokes Real Life Will Campos to death.

On his way to the Pizzeria, Palpatine's ship breaks down and he makes a pit stop at a combination SpDenny's and Flying J to get repairs. He wanders the store, contemplating what to do about Eliisa and Lorn. He resolves to place Eliisa next in line for the throne and plans to inform Lorn of the change in person. He takes a small glass munyip figurine from the shop, intending to give it to her as a gift. He also steals a shirt that reads "DILF: Dedicated Involved Loving Father"

In the second one shot, Jar Jar's Pizzeria, Palpatine arrives late wearing the DILF shirt and joins everyone waiting for Pizza. He asks Eliisa to become his apprentice and he accepts. He later comes to find that Eliisa had been planning to kill him in the Pizzeria because he thought that Palpatine had intentionally abandoned him. They escape the animatronics, but not before Nova Solana can snap a photo of him and the others.

In the fourth one shot, Defamation and Dismemberment, Palpatine tracks down Nova and the other Journalists of That's So Stayr-Wauires Magazine. He serves them a subpoena and gives them an offer to turn themselves in and potentially not face death, and they refuse. He confronts them in the Theed Central Communications tower and kills them one by one, but not before they could upload the article exposing his secret marriage and estranged son.

In Exes and Executions, Palpatine briefly meets at Daymont's with Defense a day after the incident at the Communications Tower before his confrontation with the party a week later. When Syla and Defense's crew shows up at Palpatine's house, they eventually kill him after a long fought battle. With his final action, he hands his lightsaber to Defense to deal the final blow. The saber, his pact weapon, is transferred to his son Eliisa upon his death.

Palpatine's connection to the force allows him to continue to speak to Eliisa in his mind after his death. However, during this period, he exists only as a soul separate from his memories. Unaware of who he is or who he is speaking to and only what he must do, he assists Eliisa as he attempts to bring Palpatine back from the dead.

## Relationships

### CUC-K07D/Cuckbot

Palpatine met Cuckbot by tripping over him at his first college party. They hooked up and Cuckbot gave him one of his business cards and says to call when he's married. It is due to this that Palpatine becomes hot.

Palpatine kept the business card and called it for the first time on the day he married Sunny Daise. He continued this pattern of getting back together with Cuckbot to cheat on his other partners whenever he got divorced and remarried again for 33 years. After that point, he met Jar Jar and broke up with Cuckbot for good, though he still cares about him. Cuckbot was Palpatine's longest lasting relationship.

Cuckbot is one of three people on Palpatine's list of people that he would never kill.

Cuckbot was part of the party that killed Palpatine.

### Darth Vader

Darth Vader is Palpatine's son with Shmi Skywalker. He is not the favored son, and this causes tension in their relationship.

### Defense Attorney

Defense Attorney was Palpatine's best friend. They were roommates in college and he often roped Defense into whatever he was doing such as joining his band or appearing on his podcast.

One night they got drunk and Defense thought it would be funny if they adopted a kid together and Palpatine agreed, which leads to the adoption of Lorn Killian. Lorn becomes the subject of many arguments between the two, as Defense believes they should not have adopted her in the first place, and Palpatine cares about her and wants them to be her parents, but is consistently irresponsible.

Defense Attorney and Palpatine remained friends after college and Palpatine employed him as his lawyer. He did not pay him.

Their relationship broke after Palpatine killed Lorn in Defamation and Dismemberment and the two of them get into a fight. Defense can't believe that Palpatine would kill their daughter and insists there had to have been another choice, and Palpatine calls out Defense for leaving and for never showing any care towards Lorn up until this point.

Defense killed Palpatine in Exes and Executions with Palpatine's own lightsaber, which Palpatine gave to him as his final action.

### Eliisa Binks-Palpatine

Eliisa Binks-Palpatine is the Force son of Jar Jar and Palpatine who was born a year after their relationship began without Palpatine's knowledge. Once he learned of Eliisa's existence, he became determined to try to repair the father/son relationship they never had and, sensing his strength with the Dark side, takes him on as a Sith apprentice. Eliisa becomes next in the line of succession.

He was both hurt and impressed when he learned that Eliisa had been planning to kill him.

Eliisa takes Lorn's place as one of the three people on Palpatine's list of people he would never kill.

Following his death, Palpatine tranferred his pact weapon lightsaber to Eliisa and continues speaking to him in his mind as a disembodied soul.

### Gem Sexton

Palpatine recruited Gem Sexton to play keyboard for his band, Chaos at the Cant!na. Once Gem's mom, Sunny, began showing up to band practices, he focused all of his attention on her.

Palpatine hid his relationship with Sunny from Gem. Once he did find out, Palpatine made an insufferable amount of "doin ur mom" jokes about it. Palpatine was briefly Gem's step-dad for 2-3 years while he and Sunny were married, and this only made him more insufferable, especially as Palpatine is younger than Gem.

### Jar Jar Binks-Palpatine

Jar Jar Binks-Palpatine is Palpatine's husband. They began their relationship after Jar Jar was revived following the destruction of New Centrif. Jar Jar returned without his soul, though Palpatine was unaware of this until the first one shot, Mice and Madness. Palpatine was distressed to learn that he hadn't realized his partner was soulless and that Jar Jar hadn't really loved him over the 19 years they were together. They got married after he was reunited with his soul and they are working to repair their relationship.

Jar Jar and Palpatine have one child, Eliisa Binks-Palpatine, who was spawned by the Force a year into their relationship and Jar Jar forgot to tell Palpatine about for 18 years.

Jar Jar is at the top of Palpatine's list of the three people he would never kill.

### Lorn Killian

Lorn "The Intern" Killian is Palpatine and Defense Attorney's adopted daughter. They adopted her drunkenly in college, but Palpatine was the one who wanted to keep her. He nicknamed her "my little munyip" or just "munyip" after the toy that came with her SpHappy meal that she was playing with on the day she was adopted.

While she was growing up, Palpatine wanted to be a good father to her but was often too irresponsible and focused on himself. Once they graduated, Lorn stayed with Defense Attorney most of the time and with Palpatine on the weekends. There are many moments from her childhood that he dwells on, particularly when he promised to be at her first tattoo ceremony and forgot the date, instead going and getting drunk at a party. After that day, he became determined to never miss important dates/events for her. Once Lorn became an adult, Palpatine saw her sparingly. He did make it a point, though, to send her birthday cards every year. They were always wildly incorrect in age, but they always arrived on the correct date without fail.

Lorn was next in the line of succession until Palpatine found out Eliisa existed and decided he would be next in line instead. This also leads to him removing Lorn from his no-kill list and putting Eliisa in her place. He decided that he would tell her in person and got a small glass munyip figurine which he planned to give to her as a kind of parting gift and apology for not seeing her for 19 years.

On the same day, Palpatine hunts down the journalists of "That's so Stayr-Waiures!" magazine, unaware that Lorn was working there. He realizes it's her at the top of the Theed Central Communications Tower and very reluctantly kills her anyway, his final words to her being, "I'm sorry, Munyip...keep soaring."

He did not want to kill her and feels massive guilt over her death.

### Sunny Daise

Sunny Daise was Palpatine's first wife. They met while Palpatine was in college, she is the mom of his former bandmate Gem Sexton. She and Palpatine dated behind Gem's back for while, and eventually they got married once he graduated. He cheated on her with Cuckbot through their whole marriage, eventually leading to them getting divorced a few years later.

## Trivia

### Real Canon Star Wars Facts

* Mice and Madness: Very few people know Palpatine's actual height, as he wears Demonias under his cloak to appear taller
* Jar Jar's Pizzeria: After New Centrif's destruction and Jar Jar's return, Palpatine created a new special kind of hologram called Nabooian Force Tokens (or NFTs) which would be sold at auction and linked to the Force signature of the person who buys them. They were all holograms of Jar Jar and the intention was to increase his popularity again on Naboo. This was ineffective.
* Jar Jar High: Band Kid Sheev actively had crushes on nearly every single person with him in detention. He is also a fan of SpAnime.
* Jar Jar High: Scooby Doo: Band Kid Sheev started painting his nails black because Dash Cardin painted them for him one time when they were hanging out

### Additional Trivia

* He wears sunglasses to hide his eyes whenever he's crying
* Had a podcast in college
* Does not know what DILF stands for (but DOES know what MILF stands for
* A fan of Jar Jar's Pizzeria
* He used to get motion sick on ships, but no longer did once he gained more skill withe the force