Warden

Warden, being an angry fuck

### Relatives

Sir Princeton Humphrey III (Father) Madam Eliza (Mother) Lawby (Brother) PK (Daughter) Conq (Son)

### Affiliation

Daubeny's Legion (former) The Blackstone Legion (former) The Iron Legion (former) The Resistance

# **Warden**

"*How have I fallen so far?"*

--Warden

### Appearance

Warden has really crusty armor, if you could even call it that. It's more like cobbled together gambeson, chainmail and tinfoil. His helmet has weird plus signs on his cheeks and his brow is almost always furrowed. He appears to be one of the only characters with any body hair at all, as we know from Day 5 (Feinting and Cancelling).

### Personality

Toward the beginning of the series, Warden was heavily prejudiced and bigoted toward the other factions, especially with his history in the Faction War. He would often lash out in anger or say things that are definitely not appropriate, even after the Unofficial Truce. In more recent times, he has shown lots of affection toward people from other factions, calling Yumi smart and even hugging Musha. He still is easily frustrated and sometimes very jaded, but he has become a more likable person overall. Warden has always wanted greatness for his children and wishes to be remembered.

### Early Life

Clarke Scott Warden was born in Ashfeld some time during the Faction War. Little is known about his childhood, other than his close bond with his brother Lawrence and the fact that his father, Sir Princeton Humphrey III, a knight commander, and his mother, Madam Eliza, a Warmonger were constantly fighting in the house. In order to escape this, Clarke and Lawrence set out at young ages to become agents of the Blackstone Legion.

### Faction War

Unfortunately, they weren't permitted into the legion due to a height chart. That's when Hervis Daubeny appeared and recruited the two children into his legion. After spending some time in Daubeny's Legion, Holden Cross and the Blackstones came knocking at Daubeny's gate. When challenged to a duel by Cross, Daubeny proceeded to choose Warden as his second, and Cross chose some guy. The two duked it out and Warden was victorious. Cross then took Daubeny's weapon and knighted Warden as a member of the Blackstone Legion. Warden was a knight yes, but he had a secret friendship with a Samurai named Kenshi Kensei, who he met at a yoga class one time and bonded over not liking yoga.

Some time later, after a falling out with Apollyon, Warden made a big dumb speech to Mercy, a Peacekeeper he was crushing on about how he took an oath. He then tried to throw his car keys really far to show her what a chad he is, but it only went like 10 feet. Warden and the other Blackstones joined the Iron Legion and did some stuff before Warden met Linda Thancred.

Warden and Linda dated for a while, which was quite uneventful, due to Warden's incredibly wack religious beliefs and refusal to hold hands before marriage. Even through his marriage, Warden stayed loyal to the Iron Legion. Eventually, Warden got an honorable discharge when his first child, Connor was born.

The greatest relief in Warden's life was definitely when his Grunt child Connor (a disappointment) evolved into a Conqueror at age 3. Warden has always wanted greatness for his kids and being a Grunt was a one-way ticket to being shit. About a year after Connor's birth, Linda gave birth to her next child, Pearl Kacey, or PK.

Warden loved both of his children a lot, but he still pushed them to be great. However, as his children matured, PK becoming very promiscuous and sarcastic, and Connor's mental function not maturing beyond 6 years old, Warden feared that his kids would be smited by God.

### Unofficial Truce

Once the war ended and the Unofficial Truce began, Warden was very confused. More Vikings and Samurai moved into Ashfeld and began living in harmony. This didn't sit well with Warden, as he lost many friends and soldiers to these men during the war. It didn't help that the one Samurai he trusted still lived far away in The Myre. Warden's distrust of the other factions made him very disliked in his neighborhood, which contrasted greatly with his wife Linda, who was accommodating and kind to the other factions. This discrepancy led to their first divorce. There would be 4 more before they split up finally.

### Beginnings Arc

**The Uchiha Wedding-** Warden is shown crying his eyes out, due to his recent divorce with Linda.

**Beach Day-** Warden is shown driving his family to the beach, screaming at Conq for bothering him.

**Warden's First Drink-** Warden is peer pressured by everyone in the bar (which he was reluctant to go to in the first place) to take a sip of alcohol. He has a single drop and ends up sleeping with a Shaman.

### Breach Arc

**Honor High-** Warden appears as a guest speaker to the class, in his underwear. After rambling for a bit about the Blackstone Legion, PK pays off Nobushi to break his arm in front of the class.

### Warriors Den Arc

**Warrior's Damned-** Warden is once again getting angry at Conq for balling up his Bible pages. He then rakes his mind thinking about where he has seen Shmapollyon before. Later on, he is seen sitting on the couch in his underwear, depressed.

**I Had Questions-** Warden asks a Lawbringer about his vision.

**Dominion-** Warden competes in a Dominion match with Shinobi, Lawbringer and Nobushi. He is shown to be suicidal.

**Vortiger's Day Out-** Warden is the only character who shows Vortiger any compassion, being empathetic about him getting kicked out by Erzabet, and driving him home. He is shown to listen to Ameno by E.R.A. in his car. He then changes it to "Truth Hurts" by Lizzo when Vortiger asks for something more lively.

### Musha VS. Orochi Arc

**Day 5 (Feinting and Cancelling)-** Warden briefly teaches Musha how to feint before questioning his lineage. As it turns out, Warden was acquainted with Musha's late father, Erynith Vambrace. This is the first time Warden shows real affection for someone of another faction.

**Musha VS Orochi-** Warden is shown in the crowd beside Lawbringer and Centurion cheering on Musha.

### It Has Begun

**Red Wedding-** Warden is depicted wishing he drank, and in the crowd at Valkyrie and Shugoki's Wedding, mistaking Astrea for Apollyon.

**Drafted-** Warden convinces Conq to join the military since the entire family got drafted, and calls grunts oompa loompas.

### The Battle of Crow's Path

Warden is shown leading the charge and barking orders during The Battle of Crow's Path, and the first official battle between The Resistance and Horkos. Warden is shown to be an experienced fighter and battle strategist as he shoulder-bashes and decapitates a Viking with ease.

###

### Strengths/Abilities

* Shoulderbash: Warden is an exceptional shoulder basher and he won the shoulder bashing olympics when he was 22.
* Extreme Faith: Nothing can shake Warden's faith.
* Exceptional Leadership: Warden is a natural-born leader and strategist.
* Expert Gruel Cook: Not saying much.

### Relationships

**Lawby-** Warden is very close with his brother Larry. They often get along but still have conflicting personalities. Warden once attempted to shift persecution to himself in school by showing that he was wearing a g-string as well, like his brother. Rather than deflect criticism from their classmates, they were just both made fun of.

**PK-** Warden loves PK, but is highly critical of her behavior. He often refers to her as harlot or heretic, and raises his voice at her often. Sometimes he wishes she was a Warden (class). He once made her stand on one leg for no reason other than to command respect in front of Yumi.

**Conq-** Conq bothers Warden constantly, but they still love each other. Warden has been depicted bribing Conq often with pez so he will shut up or risk death.

**Centurion-** On the outside, Warden seems to believe Centurion is a pleasant guy who can get riled up sometimes. While this is mostly true, Warden still has a grudge because of Cent stealing his wife and making her relatively happy.

**Musha-** Warden thinks Musha is a good kid and has been seen calling him PK's boyfriend multiple times despite her protests.

**Kensei-** Kensei and Warden are old friends who don't see each other often, but when they do they have a lot of fun.

**Linda-** Warden and Linda have cooled down over the years, and make polite conversation every so often.

**Nobushi-** Warden secretly wants to tap that.

**Yumi-** Warden and Yumi have a good relationship, and Warden often teaches Yumi about how to deal with Conq.

**Apollyon-** Warden still gets PTSD-like flashbacks when he sees Apollyon, so there isn't a whole lot of room for friendship.

### Fun Facts and Trivia

* Warden is a terrible cook. He cooks on Mondays and occasionally Fridays and it is always either gruel, salted gruel, boiled potatoes or gristle.
* Warden was briefly in a christian rock band before realizing it was rock, which is the music of the devil.
* Warden often beats off to Nobushi porn and then cries himself to sleep.
* Since the 12 matches as a Vanguard hero is the most common thing ever, Warden is the breadwinner of the family.
* Warden and Linda have had 5 divorces.
* On Fridays, when Yung Cent stays over, Warden orders pizza. He likes boiled potatoes better.