Home Again (Kairi version)

Eris chuckled evilly and rubbed her hands together as the preverbal ball was back in her court. "And, uh...what were you saying, my dear?" she asked Kairi in a silky voice.

Ben Ali appeared on Eris' head with one last trick. "Well, she simply said that you're a fat, pompous, bad-tempered, old tyrant!" he laughed.

As Ben Ali laughed away into thin air, Eris became very angry. "OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!!!" she shouted.

The pink elephants erupted with applause as they dove and swarmed to arrest Kairi, who rushed out of the courtroom, knocking away any pink elephants that got in her way.

"You heard what her majesty said!" Jiminy announced through his hat before getting trampled by the pink elephants, "Off with her head!"

Piglet blew on his trumpet to call out more pink elephants as Kairi ran out of the castle with about 52 decks worth of pink elephants hot on her tail.

Kairi raced into the maze as the pink elephants followed suit. The chase continued for about 15 minutes as even Eris and Jiminy took part in the chase. The chase ended when Kairi ran (quite literally) into a deck of pink elephants, knocking them over in the process. Eris ran over the pink elephants on her side, causing an incline that stopped Kairi in her tracks.

As she slid down the pink elephant slide, she noticed the hedge maze vanishing and suddenly wind up in another caucus race, led by the Cat in the Hat, of course. The racers included Eris, Jiminy, Jose, Donald, Sulley, Mike, Randall, Fungus, some Oysters, and a deck's worth of the pink elephants.

Everyone (except Kairi): *Forward, backward, inward, outward, here we go again*
*No one ever loses and no one can ever win*
*Backward, forward, outward, inward, bottom to the top*
*Never a beginning...*

Kairi pulled herself out of the caucus and started running across a beach, with Eris and the pink elephants chasing after her.

"Off with her head!" Eris shouted, "Off with her head!"

Kairi kept on running as the rocks she jumped over turned into teapots; she suddenly found herself back at Jose and Donald's tea party. Just then, Jose and Donald appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Kairi.

"Just a moment," Jose said. "You can't leave a tea party without having a cup of tea, you know!"

Kairi panted, "But-but I can't stop now!"

"Ah, but we insist," said Donald. "You must join us in a cup of tea!"

The parrot and the duck pushed Kairi into a giant cup of tea, which seemed to be more spacious than it looked. She came out, seeing that the tea turned into water...an ocean at that. As she swam, Eris was riding at her, using the same method the travel the Cat in the Hat did earlier on.

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!" Eris shouted.

Kairi immediately noticed Br'er Rabbit, smoking on top of his mushroom.

"Mr. Br'er Rabbit, what will I do?" Kairi asked.

He turned to her, not seeming to enjoy her company and blew smoke at her. "Who are you?" Br'er Rabbit asked.

As Kairi coughed from the smoke, she suddenly felt solid ground on her feet. The ocean around her disappeared as Br'er Rabbit's smoke swirls into a tunnel that stretched for miles. Kairi wasted no time running as Eris and the pink elephants were right behind her.

"There she goes!" Eris called, "Don't let her get away! Off with her head!"

The tunnel went on for a while until Kairi came upon the Grand Duke of Owls. She reached out, desperately trying to grab him. She finally managed to grab it and tried to open the door. However, the Grand Duke of Owls groaned in pain as Kairi grabbed him. "Still locked, you know." he said.

"But Eris!" Kairi explained, "I simply must get out."

The Grand Duke of Owls chuckled. "But you *are* outside." he said.

Kairi was confused. "What?"

"See for yourself!" said the Grand Duke of Owls, as he opened his mouth wide to show what he was talking about. Kairi looked inside and saw herself out in the riverbank, asleep under the tree, with Thumper in her lap.

"Why, why that's me!" Kairi exclaimed, "I'm asleep!"

"Don't let her get away!" Eris ordered, "Off with her head!"

The Intergalactic girl turned around to see Eris and her mob rushing at her, and this time she was cornered with nowhere else to run.

"Kairi! Kairi, wake up!" Kairi begged herself, "Please wake up, Kairi!"

She attempted to wake the other Kairi on the other side up. But she was too late! The attacks finally reached her, mere inches away from hitting her.

At that moment, everything went bright white. The last thing Kairi could hear was a distant voice calling her name, "Kairi! Kairi!"

The voice revealed to be Anastasia in the real world, who was calling to her daughter to wake up. "Kairi! Kairi!" Anastasia called out, "Will you please pay attention and recite your lesson?"

Finally, Kairi woke up from her slumber. Her mind was still fresh from her "adventure." She asked, "Hmmm? Oh. Oh! Uh..." She heard to the word "recite," and she suddenly shot up to recite.

Kairi: *How doth the little crocodile*
*Improve his shining tail*
*And pour the waters of the...*

"Kairi, what are you talking about?" Anastasia cut her off.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mom." Kairi apologized to her mother, "But you see, Gaston said..."

"Gaston?" Anastasia was confused. "Oh, for goodness' sake! Kairi, I...Oh, well." she said, "Come along, your father and brothers are waiting for you. It’s time for dinner, anyway."

Anastasia led Kairi home from the park for dinner as Kairi picked up Thumper. Kairi was glad to be home after the long adventure she had. Even if it was just a crazy dream...Or was it? One thing was for sure, Kairi knew that she would remember this dream for a long, long time...and the new yet, strange friends she met along the way.

Chorus: *Kairi in Wonderland*
*Over the hill or here or there*
*I wonder where*

*The End*

*A Ratiganrules Production*