Reliable Third

A **Reliable Third** is a legend and a myth, a being that does not exist. In team based games, the success of a game often hinges on the cooperative interplay of all party members, but given history, members of a "team" often only consist of 1 or 2 caw members. Reasons for the evasive nature of a Reliable Third is varied, some citing that it requires another game you gotta' buy, not installing a 100GB game or something other fake shit. It is postulated that the addition of a third member to a team game would result in many wins, and having a good time with your bros. But the fact of the matter is that no matter how many people are simultaneously present to game, only two will want to play. It is deeply frustrating predicament, especially when a lot of the games that need a Reliable Third are free.

## Begging

Shane and Max have been forced to play team games by just themselves for nearly half a decade. As a result, their need for a Reliable Third has taken them through the stages of grief, ending at "Bargaining" and never reaching "Acceptance". They can typically be found getting battered in all matter of games, which leads to begging another present member to "just download/buy this game". Despite pleading on their hands and knees. the member being asked will outright make up lies about how they won't play that game. They are either too high, drunk, tired or poor to participate. It is a never ending cycle that could be ended by simply playing the game with your friends and have a good time, but never happens. Whereas it has been observed that it has never been effective, begging for a Reliable Third continues to be a delusional effort.

## Jr.

As competent candidate for FPS games, Jr. would be a first choice for anyone looking to add a Reliable Third to their party. Upon asking Jr. to play any game with you will result in him simply getting up and leaving. It is assumed that he is greasing himself down for a "Cum Denial" that will last for 5 minutes, and will result in him telling you that he has just taken Melatonin, had 4 White Claws while Jr.Baby is choking on a chicken wing. Beside this, he frequently allots time towards playing with his actual friends, being their 'Reliable Fifth', a sight unseen to the CancerCaw.

## Clab

This fat man will never play a game with you based around a variety of lies and fake opinions. Typically he will state that he "doesn't want to play that shit", citing that the game is old shit or boring. He will make up an arsenal of reasons for not playing a game for false reasons, and it is presumed that he has just dug in his heels just to be mean. He has less than 3 hours put into Left 4 Dead 2, and argues that it is not fun, disregarding how actually fun the game is. This fake ass sentiment is uttered *(more like uddered)* by Clab in regards to any game, no matter how objectively good.

## Dru

The reason why Dru is never a Reliable Third is that he is simply never present when games are being played. Keeping him in his chair and out of his garage is like trying to keep Uranium from decay. It is impossible. In the event that you can tie him to his computer he never uses, he will make up, in his mind, that we don't even want to play with him, even when we have been begging him to. Often times, the game in question is "another game he's gotta' buy", all while he spends hundreds of dollars on Last Cloudia and other fake games. Dru works a graveyard shift, kneecapping his availability to be present even further. It is not just that Dru isn't a Reliable Third, he is simply just an unreliable bro.