RNG

> "*... breakthroughs in genomics may be able to prevent disease and retardation, but they can't find a cure for shit-ass luck.*"
> ― TomFulp[[source]]
>
>

   **RNG, RNJesus or Random Number Generator**is Hearthstone's trademark mechanic, as well as the true decider of most victories in the game. While at first seeming innocuous and fun, most outsiders are quickly able to notice a subliminal cult to this mysterious entity gaining shape as Hearthstone and its underlings move screaming and kicking towards the future.

## RNJesus and You

While you might subconsciously think you've never been shafted by RNG, it is far easier to spot than you'd think. RNJesus is to blame whenever your starting hand eats ass, whenever your draws eat ass, or whenever your opponent's deck is an unwinnable match-up, and thus everything you do eats ass. It can also manifest itself in random outcomes, from a tiny Knife Juggler snipe, to a massive Kel'thuzad popping out of a Sneed's Old Shredder.

Some would say that RNG is fair since it ends up being everyone's turn to get fucked over by it, but those people clearly sucked RNJesus's dick dry and thus are not aware of how hard they can get shafted otherwise.

### Its identity

Lengthy speculation puts RNJesus's identity all over the place. Numerous identities have been suggested, and no one can disprove any. Whoever it is, RNJesus is not a benevolent entity. It demands constant sacrifice, tribute and mindless devotion. Displeasing the god will most likely warrant ending the month at Rank 20, and losing against the most ridiculous odds imaginable.

### The controversy

Recent rumors hint that RNJesus is actually a false god. As is known, Blizzard strives to make sure everyone is as close to 50% win-rate as possible. As is also known, RNG is the greatest force when it comes to deciding winners in Hearthstone (a few faggots might disagree). Therefore, it is entirely possible that RNG is in reality a controlable variable that Blizzard employs to upkeep winrate balance at all costs. Conveniently, this theory is often considered crazy by the brilliant and hilariously snarky minds at Hearthpwn, which means the truth might be getting more exclusive by the second thanks to them.

### "Good" RNG (According to Hearthstone's most toxic lovers)

Some people, of the terribly competitive stock, will express shock that RNG, in its unadulterated form, is able to completely ruin and decide games by itself. To them, this is such a hideous insult to their amazing skill that they cannot help but shit themselves in public whenever it becomes possible for a player to win using whacky RNG. To them, however, it is completely fine for HS to:

* Decide who wins based on who doesn't have shitty draws
* Decide who wins based on starting hand alone
* Decide who wins thanks to Knife Juggler snipes
* Decide who wins thanks to which random secret is pulled from the deck
* Decide who wins thanks to a player being lucky enough to draw a tech card
* Have Mind Control Tech
* Have Adapt
* Let Arena runs be decided based on 30 random choices
* Let Arena runs be decided by who goes first
* Let players' collections be determined based on packs that range from godly to dogshit
* Decide who wins thanks to a single, undeserved top-deck
* Let Battlegrounds be all of this, but even worse

This RNG, as you can see, is perfectly fine and just, because it does not make it too apparent to them that their achievement could be emulated by a mongoloid gorilla at any given time. Being competitive in HS is more about not wanting the thin veil of delusion to be dispelled than actual victory.

### No-no RNG (Again, according to Blizzard's acolytes)

Conversely, specific cards that state **RANDOM** will be met with crazy hostility from these elitist pricks, in their vain hopes that anyone will recognize their pathetic achievements in a children's card game. This is where their clearly sane and not hubris-driven crusade draws the line:

* Yogg-Saron, Hope's End - a 10 mana card deciding the game?! Preposterous!
* Random Legendaries - Ewwwwwwwww
* Devolve and Evolve - there's too much variance! The only variance I want is whether I draw a 3-cost minion or a 2-cost minion
* Card generation/discover - Especially if it is broad and unreliable. Otherwise, it is just a meta pick and they'll shut up, as usual
* Cast random spells - Yuck! Next you will have players wanting games to be unpredictable! Can't have that. The only unpredictability I want is who goes first winning nearly all the matches.

## The Denial

Recently, there have been fierce defenders of the skill required to play HS. Their deranged claims are too many to count, but a few have already been debunked.

**Defense:** "If this game requires no skill, how come pros always make it to the top?"

**Truth:** The pros get to play HS all day and have much higher chances of highrolling their way to the top.

**Defense:** "If it is so easy, make it to Legend yourself!"

**Truth:** Just because it requires no skill doesn't mean it does not take an assload of time to climb.

**Defense:** "Most players are unable to reach Legend."

**Truth:** Many players get retarded bots to do the tediously simple climbing for them.