The Footyzilla Show: Episode 1 - Pilot

Pilot is the first episode of the Footyzilla Show.

## Story

27 billion years ago,

*Twenty seven billion years ago, the universe, as it would become, was not yet created and what would become the universe was simply just a white void. Nothing existed in this void, except for one thing. Yes, that's right, twenty seven billion years ago, one of the most needlessly overpowered characters would be created. That's right, Footyzilla! You may be wondering how Footyzilla was created. I...I honestly don't know. Listen, I don't get paid enough for stuff like this-* "Um, hey...hey, buddy, talkie! Sorry, what's your name?" asked Footyzilla, breaking the fourth wall to speak to the Narrator. *Um...this isn't in the script. How are you talking to me?* "Plot convenience, obviously." blandly responded Footyzilla. *Okaaaay...well, what are you then?* "Pardon?" *What are you? Like, are you an animal, or....?* "I'm whatever you want me to be." *Right....anyways, how did you get here? I mean, you're older than the universe, how did you arrive?* "Oh, I just willed myself into existence. Quite easy actually. Why'd you ask?" *...you know, at first I was interested in you but know I'm kinda...disinterested.* "Oh, well, sorry?" *Eh, don't apologise just...what now?* "How about we just chill for a bit?" *...okay, sure.*

Footyzilla and the Narrator simply floated around for a bit. Footyzilla tried to lay down but simply started floating. "So," awkwardly said Footyzilla. "The weather...how is it?" he asked. *Oh, I wouldn't know, I don't go outside.* "Right, okay. Ummmm....how are you?" Footyzilla asked. *I'd say I'm good. I'm not exactly fantastic but I'm better than usual. Being in the counsel of narrators, it is kind of hard to live.* "What do you mean by that?" asked Footyzilla. *Well, I live in a 4th dimensional plane of space, along with others of my kind. We narrate pieces of "fiction" from different universes.* "That isn't confusing at all," said Footyzilla sarcastically. "I mean, you've got all that slightly complex stuff while I'm only a stupid idiot-I mean, reptilian...thing." stuttered Footyzilla. *...right. Well anyways, are you okay?* "Yeah, why?" asked Footyzilla. *Well, no offense, but you seem like the kind of person who gets bored very easily.* "Oh, you would be right, I get very bored very quickly." nodded Footyzilla. *Yikes. How are you going to keep yourself entertained? It's going to be billions of billions of years before things are created.* "Oh don't worry, I can survive." said Footyzilla, before he started floating around in the vast void.

Footyzilla and the Narrator were silent. Footyzilla acted like he was fine for a bit, but he couldn't hide his incredible boredom. He decided to take a nap, but he couldn't sleep. "Okay, you know what," exclaimed Footyzilla to the Narrator. "I didn't really want to do this, but I'm bored, so yeah..." Footyzilla then pulled a remote from his non-existent pocket and pressed a button. Time then began to fast-forward. *What are you doing?* "Skipping the boring parts, of course. I mean, who would want to watch a reptile thing and a disembodied voice talking to each other in a white void?" Footyzilla responded. *That's fair I suppose, but can't we at least develop the characters.* This show is called The Footyzilla Show, do you really think the characters are going to be smart and well-written?" *...again, that's quite a fair point. Very hard to argue with that.* Footyzilla nodded. "Exactly, I've been studying how to debate." smugly said Footyzilla. *How can you study anything if nothing exists?* "Don't ask, okay." *Well, what time frame are we in?* "Well, according to my calendar," said Footyzilla, again pulling a calendar from his non-existent pocket. "It is around 13.7 billion years from whenever this is being read." *Wait, isn't that when the universe is meant to be created.* "Yep." nodded Footyzilla. *But how are you going to survive the big bang?* "Well, we have to show I'm overpowered somehow."

Footyzilla and the Narrator waited, and waited and waited. First for five minutes, then ten minutes, then twenty minutes, then an hour, then twenty four hours. Footyzilla and the Narrator were sleeping by this point. However, Footyzilla suddenly woke up. The Narrator felt a sudden disturbance. *Footyzilla, what's wrong?* "I think there's something in my nose, it might be dirt!" *Wait, what? How? Nothing exists other than you right now, how can there be dust?* "Good question, but that's not important, I need to sneeze!" *I don't think that's important right now-* "IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!" Footyzilla then prepared to sneeze. It was annoying and dragged out, but Footyzilla finally sneezed...and it was tiny. But that didn't matter, as this tiny sneeze caused a massive explosion, the big bang itself. Yeah, Footyzilla created the universe because why not? Footyzilla was half asleep originally, but now he was fully awake. He saw everything that was going on and was fascinated by it. "Hu, I have no idea what's going on." he said. Footyzilla started floating around. "Okay, now to move." Footyzilla decided to move in a swimming motion towards different planets. The Narrator watched. *What are you doing?* "Oh, just looking for a planet to live on." *Which one do you want to choose?* "This third one looks nice, I may hang around it for a bit. Heck, I think this one is the best place for life to...live on." Footyzilla then landed on Earth, smashing into the ground. "Gravity, not fun. Anyways, this place seems...uninhabitable...weird, but I can work with this-" *WAIT!* "What?!" asked Footyzilla. *You need to wait for the right year!* "And how long till this place can in inhabitable?" asked Footyzilla. *Nine point two billion years.* "WHAT?! THAT LONG?!" *Yeah. Wait, why can't you just use the remote again?!* Footyzilla thought for a moment. "Well...," Footyzilla thought for a bit. "uh....what remote?" he coyly said. He heard what sounded like the Narrator slapping his face.

Footyzilla decided to walk around for a bit, seeing if anything was going on. He noticed that Earth was basically a barren wasteland. Footyzilla walked for a bit but it seemed very clear that nothing was going on. Footyzilla decided to sleep on the planet. He slept for a very long time, specifically around nine point two billion years. *Footyzilla, Footyzilla!* "What, what?!" jumped a surprised Footyzilla. He then started to hear something from the sky. Footyzilla looked up and saw a large planet about to smash into Earth named Theia. Footyzilla was surprised, but then began to smile. "Yes, yes, YES! Finally! Took you long enough, you stupid rock!" he excitedly screamed. "Come down here and smash into this rock, baby! Hehehe." he finished, as Theia smashed into the Earth directly on top of Footyzilla. Footyzilla stopped smiling when he realized he couldn't see a damn thing. He decided to sleep, again! Footyzilla woke up the next day and saw something...different. There were now oceans and sand. Footyzilla could barely recognize a thing. He decided to check the oceans. He saw micro-organisms. "Hu, interesting, small thingies!" Footyzilla then decided to take a stroll, a calm stroll. Footyzilla then sat down in a sort of ravine. He then heard...something. "Hmmm, what's that?" Footyzilla asked himself. As he did, three green feathers came from the sky. While they didn't look strong, the feathers were able to pierce Footyzilla's skin. Footyzilla wasn't hurt, but noticed this. "Hu, damn!" He then saw another creature fall from the sky. An adversary. "Who are you?" it asked.