House No. 21: The Wilbur Room

## Content Warnings

* Disappearance
* Extortion
* Crying sfx

> Our neighbourhood pest.
>
>

## Episode Summary

### Intro

At the beginning of the episode, we meet the young couple buying House No. 21. They really do not want to have children, thank you very much, no little disruptions for them. The Narrator states that it is now the listener can be told about a pest plaguing Little Street.

### House No. 21

#### Appearance

House No. 21 is describes as pleasant little home, perfect to start a family. It has two stories and starts out with three bedrooms, two of which are used as offices. Niamh's office has yoga mats, while Connor has bonsai trees and zen gardens in his.

#### Story

Niamh and Connor rise early and make coffee/tea before heading to work on their computer in their respective office. While Connor's book on gaming the system for profit once again is rejected, which quickly leads to thoughts about starting his own podcast, Niamh invites over Brandon Stollen for dinner. Brandon, so she, was going to start his own cryptocurrency soon and would make for interesting conversation. They smirk at each other conspiratorily at that but do not speak their thoughts. Brandon arrives late, both home owners are unsure if it is on purpose or not. Nonetheless, they bring him wine, water, and vegan snacks. He introduces his cryptocurrency, Giltcoin, to them, which they could invest in in return to access to their network of influential people. The ice is broken as they all agree what is important is who you know, and they eat and especially drink together. Brandon, now clearly under the influence, excuses himself to go to the bathroom. At this, Niamh and Connor get up and use their chance to strike. Connor goes through his bag before locking it in the cupboard, Niamh whispers to his glass until it turns warm and begins to sing. With the bag hidden, Connor joins her in this. It is mentioned they have done this hex before, however this was the first time it went uninterrupted, as Brandon is gone for quite some time and no signs of his return can be heard. It stays quiet for an awfully long time before the silence is interrupted by the cry of a baby. They do not have children, but the proximity of the crying alarms them, even more so when they hear Brandon hushing it. Now running, they discover the source of the crying - a baby blue door with a cartoon elephant and "Wilbur" written on it, right outside their master bedroom. Every noise stops. The door is gone.

With Brandon now gone and more than a little perplexed, Niamh and Connor quickly decide that they cannot have the authorities investigate them. Whatever they have done to other people, the impossibility of it is what keeps them quiet, and having their victims possibly find out about each other and be brave enough to speak up with the knowledge they are not alone? It would ruin them. So they decide to lay low and pretend Brandon had never been there, getting rid of the car. Worrying about Brandon, after all, meant they did not need to worry about the door. Just as they had gotten back into their usual routine, the door appeared again. This time, it was plastered with stickers and hazard tape, snoring could be heard from behind it. Connor wants to go inside but he is quickly held back by Niamh, telling him he should know better after the things they had done. Later that day, as they want to go to bed, they discover the door is still there. When they hear heavy footsteps behind it, they quickly disappear instead. Wilbur grows louder the following nights, walking and listening to music, with Niamh and Connor laying in their beds, not making a sound, and hoping for sleep to come. When it barely does, Connor switches to coffee instead of his usual green tea in the mornings. All their cabinets are rifled through, empty food packaging left everywhere, the TV hot and mud all over the floor. Days pass until, sleep deprived, Niamh calls Wilbur down for lunch. There is no response other than angry stomping, and both adults breathe a relieved sigh. They slowly get used enough to Wilbur to want to go back to their side buissiness. Taking up Brandon's laptop with new interest, he won't defraud himself, after all, they notice parts of it have been hastily and clumsily been deleted. Opening the recently closed tabs reveals Brandons E-Mail account, from which one mail had been sent. It was addressed to a string of random letters and numbers and an email client familiar to neither of them, with the body reading only their address. Rushing to Wilbur's Room, they notice the door is gone once again, and the doorbell rings.

The next day, Connor goes to water the plants, one leg stiff, the other flailing about as if to make up for it. He sees his neigbour and greets her too exciteddly. She jumps at the sound and shoots him a bewildered glare. He chuckles and tells her he just wanted to ask about the local schools, it were time for them to start a family.

## Trivia

* The episode ends with: "Today’s dumpster fire signals the end of life as Susie Lee knows it. Who is Susie Lee? Has she seen that there’s fire? Does she know it's getting higher, and higher, and higher, and higher?"