Saria

art by Thiri & Eve

## Description

Saria is a small she-cat with fluffy white fur, and a brown and black smudge. Big round amber eyes. She used to wear a golden collar when she was a kittypet, but got rid of it once Matthew said he didn't like it. She used to go by the name Doll.

## Personality

After her emotional abusive past with her former mate, Matthew, Saria became extremely unstable. She often has anger outbursts and barely sleeps. She finds it really hard to trust others, resulting in her not having many friends (Matthew used to tell her everyone around her tried to control her).

Saria sometimes randomly lashes out at her kits, and anger bursts out because they look like their father. Often she snaps out of it, and guilt starts to haunt her wherever she goes. Deep down, she's still the loving she-cat before she met Matthew.

She's terrified of the gangs, even though she used to be apart of them.

## History

Back when she was a kittypet, she used to always listen to her sister Ava, being told to act like a decent she-cat. Saria, back then going by the name Doll, was extremely bubbly and out-going, but easily influenced.

Once she got older, she started to go out more alone, exploring the area around the Twolegplace. This lead her into meeting Matthew, one of the members of The Glaring Eyes. She quickly took a liking into the tom, not realizing how dangerous he could be. It ended up in multiple meetings, not taking long before she ended growing attached to Matthew.

He made her believe that her sister and her friends had a bad influence on her, telling Doll that they were trying to control her and that she should stop hanging out with them. She first thought those words were nonsense, but started to believe him after a fight with her sister, who told her to stop meeting with Matthew. After the fight with her sister, she started to spend even more time with the tom, her feelings towards him turning into more than just friendly. She became desperate for him to return those feelings, ending up doing whatever the tom told her to, even when he asked her to leave everything behind and join him in the gang. The negative sides of joining him never even crossed her mind, too obsessed with the thought of Matthew loving her back.

During her time in the gang, she almost never left Matthew's side. She got anxious whenever the tom wasn't around. Many cats noticed her behavior, and commented on how he wasn't good for her. However she didn't believe anyone, convinced that they're just trying to make her leave Matthew and keep him for themselves.

After some time, she had finally gotten used to her new life. Doll saw Matthew as her everything, and felt like he did the same. Matthew's behavior started to change with time, becoming more distant and simply not caring much for Doll. Of course, the she-cat just pretended like she did not notice those changes. Once Doll realized she was expecting Matthew's kits, she told him immediately. To her surprise, Matthew asked her how she could think that he wanted her, or her kits. Doll thought he was joking, he was the one who took her into the gang after all. Matthew continued to tell her he didn't want anything to do with those kits, or her. Doll felt choked up, Matthew was all she ever cared about and now he suddenly shut her out like it was nothing.

She left the gangs shortly after, not feeling like she belonged there anymore. She couldn't handle seeing the tom walking around and ignoring her. Going back to the Twolegplace didn't feel like a option anymore, as she left her friends with family without a goodbye. It felt lonely, not knowing where she belonged. She went on her way, just wanting to find a place alone. The thought of those kits growing up close by the gangs made her anxious, scared that they would try to find out who their dad was.

## Life Events

She ended up meeting Rose, a loner who took her in once she noticed how roughed up Doll looked. Doll felt extremely uneasy, because she still believed everyone was after her since Matthew kept telling her that before it all went down. At the same time, Doll didn't really care if she could be dangerous. The two she-cats ended up talking a bit, and Doll brought up that she was expecting kits. Rose proposed that she could help her raise the kits, to which Doll reacted a bit snappily. She didn't understand why someone would want to raise these kits. In her eyes they were the reason why Matthew left her, they were cursed kits. The loner told her they weren't, even if they have a bad family history. Doll stayed with the loner for a little well, untill she found a place for her self, not that far away from Rose's territory.

She gave birth to three kits there, and named them Von, Vera and Vangelis. The kits reminded her of Matthew, which caused her to try and drown one of them. Von helped her snap off of her, and she quickly got the kit back on shore. She felt full of regret, and saw herself a monster.

Later that day, she met Logan. The tom comforted her, but Doll still could not forgive herself. Logan offered for her to change her name, to let go of her past. Doll thought about the toms words for a while, and decided to change her name to Saria. Regardless of her name change, her behavior and mental state stayed the same for obvious reasons.

## Relationships

#### **Matthew**

She met the tom back when she still was a kittypet, and they quickly fell inlove. Matthew managed to convince her that everyone around her tried to control her, so she started not trusting anyone but Matthew. Saria decided to join Matthew into the gangs, as all she wanted was to be with him. A few moons into her new life, Matthew started to randomly become distant. Saria pretended she didn't notice, and continued to act like they were still the loving couple from before. Once she told Matthew she was expecting his kits, the tom got extremely cold and shut her out. He said horrible things, and left. Saria couldn't handle the pain and left the gangs as fast as she could. The tom left her extremely damaged.

#### **Logan**

Logan is one of the few loners she met after the birth of her kits. He was extremely comforting and careful around Saria. To this day, she doesn't trust him but the comforting words he left her with still hang around in her head.

#### **Von**

Von is one of her three kits, she often feels extremely guilty and wish that she could have been a better mom. Her son often has to take care of her instead. She loves him a lot, and is extremely grateful for his actions. Von manages to calm her down during her attacks quite often.

#### **Vangelis**

Saria became a bit distant, since she tried to drown her when she was little. She feels extremely guilty towards her, and has no idea how to fix it. She hops their relationship will improve, and that she will end up forgiving her mother.

## Quotes

* *"You're joking right? You wouldn't shut me out like that- right?"* (To Matthew)