Season 4 Episode 4: Alien Life Forms

Miranda is approached to write an article on the recent cute alien murders. Meanwhile, a new alien ALF shows up and causes conflict within the group.

## Episode Summary

Cute Alien Killer revealed? A dangerous Duel to the death? Alf is in Omnivale and is hungry for some cats.

It's a new day in the OV. The hosts wake up in the puth, where Zorg tells them that Chief Brody was the arms dealer and got arrested and everything is a-ok again in Omnivale.

Miranda has a crazy article written about her that sort of pinpoints her as the most likely suspect in the recent continued cute alien slayings.

Miranda hadn't even had her morning leak yet when a Reporter for the Omnivale free press shows up and asks her to write an editorial for the Sunday paper to clear her name and if that doesn't work at least give the paper and edge over their rival publication, the Omnivale tribune.

She has til Friday to write it so she sends Paul and Zorg to Ruth's Chris to cover her shift.

There, Johnny Lawrence from Kobra Kai was blackout drunk and kept playing everybody was kung-fu fighting but a cover version while assaulting Victor Vacendak (Mick Jaggers character from Freejack).

Penny is off hunting with Dean Winchester, which Paul knows because he's using a stolen identity to stalk her. Since Penny isn't there, an Ewok seats himself at the big 8-seat table all by himself. This place is turning into a shithole real fast.

All of a sudden Alf shows up and asks to eat some cats. He also is in the OV to catch the Armin van Buren concert. His odd tastes cause some issues at first. He's been following AvB on a tour and asks them to join them for a trance festival with the trance god. After much back and forth, they finally serve him a cat to eat. He also recounts a tale of drug and sexual abuse he endured during the Alf TV-Show but there isn't any show all the characters are real.

On Sunday, Mirandas article "If I did it" was published that morning. It was grossly graphic and had a strange psychosexual element to it that, while utterly disturbing, was so disgusting that it conviced people she could actually not have done the murders. The RC is almost completely empty, except Dean Winchester is also there staring at Paul and pointing a crossbow at him. Alf is back again and is slow.

The Ewok leaves again without paying and ate only bread.

For some reason, Paul challenges Alf to a classic alien duel in the Alley behind the Chinese place. I think because Alf was trying to steal his place in the booth. Zorg will use this chance to hone his reffing skills.

It is decided that they will use lightsabers, Paul getting a brown one and Alf using a purple/violet one.

Right before the brutal duel, Miranda decides to interview Alf. She's also the judge and tells Paul if he doesn't kill Alf he will lose.

But in the second round, just as he was moving in for the kill, Paul slips on some old Chinese food and impales himself on his own lightsaber. Alf can't finish him off because his penis flopped out and is freaking him out.

Just then, the Ewok from the restaurant shows up behind Alf and RIPS OFF HIS FREAKIN HEAD!

Miranda grabs Paul's sword and starts executing the Ewok with it. Dean Winchester is there too and says not to kill it because otherwise they'll be just as bad as the thing they're claiming to fight.

With his dying breath, Paul confesses his love for Miranda - totally out of the blue! He also says he wishes for Zorg to start having sex with Miranda if he dies.

Dean is such a good guy that he moves in to save all these cute aliens.

But will they survive? We will see next week! (maybe)

## 20/20/20

Click here for another great installment of 20/20/20!

## Guest Starring

Big Dave................Alf aka Gordon, the furry alien. Big Dave (@exMalwa on twitter) was mentioned sometime early in season 1 or 2, when they said he would never listen to ClayneCast and only listens to sports or gambling shows or something like that. Also that one time Drew (†) went down to Australia to appear on a float at the Chastity cage/Belt contraption parade to show off all the ways you can lock up your dick, they mentioned how he would like to invite Big Dave (who may live in Australia) up on the float, however decided it would not be a good idea since he would hurt himself because he's so old. Nate also admired his ability to drive and film so many, many videos.

Guest Star 2................Kara Danvers aka Supergirl. Reporter at the Omnivale free press/Maybe Detective

### Supporting cast

Mitch............Dean Winchester

Ewok.............Uncredited

## Notable quotes

### Miranda (psycho fucking bitch)

* "I feel like we talk about this every week."
* "You know the old saying, Paul. All press is good press...something like that. No press is bad press."
* "Omnivale has become a real shithole lately. You basically gotta keep a Beretta with 6 clips in your fanny pack at all times. Paul says he thinks it's the Ewoks."
* "Why are we still friends with aliens, why do we make friends with aliens!?"

### Paul (cute)

* "Huh?"
* "I'm cute! I'm cute! I'm cute, look at me! Look at me! Look at my little flip flops, and my shorts. Smell me!"
* "What's that bitch say?"
* "I'm cracked and goated."
* "Everybody, eeeeverybody, everybody wants to be a cat!" (singing)
* "There's different experiments we can run on the dead bodies."

### Zorg

* "Are you cuddling me in my sleep?"
* "I'm not gonna look at his thing."
* "There's a camera in the women's bathroom, okay?"
* "I was highly disgusted by you earlier, but now that you've given me a lot of money...I find you to be an upstanding gentleman!"

### Alf

* "Whats Ligma, Miranda?"
* "You guys got room for another alien up here, eh?"
* "The Dad. He was a repressed gay man. And sometimes we would go into the garage with his toy trains, and he would crack open the meth...and we would explore each others bodies."
* "Who says girls aren't funny."

### Supergirl

* "...you give off super cunty vibes. Everyone thinks you're a conniving bitch. And, many restaurant goers have overheard you laughing, hysterically, every time someone brings up these murders."
* "My only interest is in the truth."

### Andy Cohen

* "Sunday night and we in the spot, don't believe me just watch. Come on."

## Trivia

As of this episode, the hosts had only been in Omnivale for 4 days.

A fedora is super passé and something incels wear.

Paul loves Van Halen.

This episode is the first since the last 3 episodes to not have an outro.