King Dedede vs. King K. Rool

## Description

*When two fat, greedy, villainous, anthropomorphic kings that are capable of dealing with powerful Nintendo heroes duke it out, which tyrant will be overthrown?*

## Interlude

Hiro: The king, a title given to a male monarch in a variety of contexts. Some are noble and honorable figures who rules over their land with great courage and dignity, while others use their position of power as an excuse to oppress their subjects in a despotic reign.

**MBStarscream: With these two greedy overweight antagonists, the latter part definitely rings true with them.**

Hiro: King Dedede, the self-proclaimed king of Dream Land and archenemy of Kirby.

**MBStarscream: And King K. Rool, the leader of the Kremling Crew and nemesis of Donkey Kong.**

Hiro: I'm Hiro Hamada.

**MBStarscream: I'm MBStarscream.**

Hiro: And it's our job to examine both warriors' strength, abilities, weapons, and weaknesses to see who would win in a fight.

## King Dedede

Hiro: Long after the Galaxy Soldier War, many looked for a place to call home. The war had reached most of the universe and destroyed entire galaxies, and there were only a few that survived the carnage. One such survivor was the greatest Star Warrior to ever live: Meta Knight.

**MBStarscream: Knowing that the demon Nightmare still lived and sought revenge specially against him, Meta Knight fled to Popstar, the brightest star in the galaxy, a place naturally filled with so much good energy that there was no way Nightmare would want to venture there. And that was where Meta Knight meet King Dedede, of the Dedede Clan, and that's when Dedede's life became absolutely nuts.**

Hiro: Little is known about this monarch's origins from before his ascension to the throne of Dream Land, but afterwards, he flaunted his position with a hedonistic vigor. The subjects of Dream Land held little respect for him, as well they should for a king whose excessive appetite once caused a food shortage. Still, Dedede's rule over the population of Dream Land stems from a place of benevolence, as most of his actions, famine-inducement aside, originate from seeking to protect his subjects from threats far greater than any within his borders.

**MBStarscream: It would not be until the arrival of the pink spherical creature known as Kirby that Dedede's life would be impacted so drastically. The citizens of Dream Land, and the planet of Pop Star as a whole, became enamored by Kirby's kindness and more straightforward approach to heroism, compared to the dubious morality and selfishness of the ruler that they had become accustomed to. In fact, it would be the notorious famine of Dream Land that heralded the arrival of Kirby.**

Hiro: The first encounter between him and Dedede ended with the king being triumphed over and the people's food returned; since then, the two have squared off multiple times, even with the gradual improvement of their rapport with one another. Though he has since developed something of an appreciation for Kirby, Dedede still insists on adhering to the traits which he has demonstrated during his lengthy rule, even the ones that bring him to odds with his pink rival.

**MBStarscream: Kirby has shaped ol' Pingu over the years since they first met, mostly in how he conducts himself in a fight. Dedede, resentful of Kirby's popularity with his own subjects, aspired to knock the puffball off his pedestal and underwent rigorous training to match his powers.** E**ver since the first game King Dedede has had the ability to inhale, and has improved to the point where he can inhale anything up to 10 feet in front of him, and he can inhale anything from Fire Kirby to Plasma Kirby with no trouble. He can also spit out damaging puffs of air powerful enough to destroy stone blocks, just like Kirby.**

Hiro: After inhaling an object, he can spit it out at high speeds in any direction (sometimes breaking the fourth wall and shooting at the screen) and after being beaten by Kirby in Nightmare in Dreamland, shot Kirby out of Popstar’s atmosphere within seconds from his mouth. Since the first game, Dedede also has the ability to shoot things out as Star Spit, turning anything he spits out into a star temporarily.

**MBStarscream: It’s not really clear how per se, but Dedede can somehow transmutate enemies into stars when he inhales and spits them up. He’s done this before in Kirby’s Adventure and in the Smash series. Now if only he could keep them swallowed forever.**

Hiro: After his first defeat as mentioned before, Dedede went through intense training to puff himself up giving him the ability to fly according to his melee trophy. He does this by inhaling air, and he can fly at high speeds. With the Super Dedede Jump, Dedede can jump at over 12 feet in the air and cause a small shockwave in the shape of stars around him upon landing.

**MBStarscream: Despite his actions, he’s actually been shown to be a genius, since on more than one occasion he has built mechanisms like The Dedede Hammer, Jet hammer, the Dedede Brooch in Super Smash Bros. Brawl which changed any character turned into a trophy back to normal, etc. In Kirby’s Pinball Land, Dedede has the ability to generate bolts of electricity from his hands. Yep. Now onto what this can do: the electricity is powerful enough to stop metal flippers in a giant pinball machine-esque arena.**

Hiro: Confirmed by an old Miiverse post, Dedede can teleport himself in Dedede’s Drum Dash to get back on the move. One time, Kirby ended up sucking Dedede into his stomach dimension, but in the next episode Dedede got out. Whether Kirby simply ejected him from stomach or whether Dedede managed to escape on his own remains unclear.

**MBStarscream: By using his TV Network, Channel DDD, along with a black and white wheel, Dedede can hypnotize anyone watching his TV Channel into following his commands. And by preforming a summoning dance, Dedede can call forth an armed squadron of Waddle Dees, Waddle Doos, and the occasional Gordo to attack foes. He's also got plenty of tricks he can do with that hammer of his: the Giant Dedede Swing, the Ultra Giant Swing, the Hammer Twirl, the Dedede Hammer Throw and the Hammer Flip.**

Hiro: Speaking of hammers, Dedede has an assortment of oversized hammers to call his weapon of choice, some provided through additional sources of power. These mallets possess numerous secondary abilities and the collection of attacks between them include elemental energy, built-in jet engines that amplify the momentum of Dedede's swings, self-duplication, and homing spheres of magic; that said, none of these hammers stands out more than the electric hammer of his Masked Dedede persona.

**MBStarscream: As Masked Dedede, the king's cudgel has a multi-barreled rocket launcher and multiple projectile attack, as well as an overall increase in force. While he has a myriad amount of hammers for a more personal touch in a fight, he also has no shortage of Waddle Dee and Gordo henchmen to call upon for assistance; the latter is notably more formidable, as Gordos are a species covered entirely in spikes and are impervious to any forms of damage.**

Hiro: Upon defeat in Kirby’s Blowout Blast, Dedede turns into a penguin kaiju whose attacks hit much harder. His hammer also naturally releases shockwaves when attacking. It also has its own masked form equipped with a missile launching hammer. The mask itself also finally serves a defensive purpose, as only stronger attacks are capable of breaking through it.

**MBStarscream: Dedede has no lack of accomplishments to draw from when gauging his potential in battle, thanks in part to the threats that plague Dream Land and the hero sworn to fight against them. The king has fought Kirby and though he may not have won in these matches, he has at least escaped without facing total obliteration at the pink puffball's nubby hands.**

Hiro: As Kirby can throw punches that fracture the entirety of Pop Star, tantamount in size to a frozen Earth, Dedede regularly pits himself against a foe who packs nearly two octillion tons of force into his strikes; meanwhile, the force that Dedede can inhale and spit objects out with can break the speed of sound 33 times over. Together, the pair have also stood their own against Meta Knight, who can fly so fast as to cross an entire galaxy in seconds, and both even withstood falling into the event horizon and subsequent collapse of a black hole.

**MBStarscream: Regularly being thrust into scenarios of a cosmic level gives the king an edge which puts him above most other characters, but he, too, has his own crippling weaknesses. Like his opponent, Dedede is lacking in heightened intelligence, and while he regularly pits himself against the hero of Dream Land, there is no objective proof that Dedede has survived the full brunt Kirby can bring to bear in a fight.**

 Hiro: What there is proof of, however, is that the feats and firepower Dedede surrounds himself with is ultimately put to good and proves that, arrogant and envious he may be, his position of king over Dream Land is well and truly earned.

*King Dedede: Get ready Dream Land! 'Cause it's magic time!*

## King K. Rool

Hiro: Donkey Kong Island has been home to the Kong Family since Cranky Kong and Donkey Kong Jr. migrated there after the former battled his abusive owner on top of a construction site. Cranky retired, and eventually the Kong Family branched out. Donkey Kong III is the current island protector and has taken various journeys across the island with Diddy Kong.

**MBStarscream: And more often than not, those adventures involve beating up their most recurring foes: A bunch of crocodiles.**

Hiro: To be more specific, a powerful organization called the Kremling Krew, led by the barbarous King K. Rool.

**MBStarscream: But before all that, Karool originally was a pirate on Kremling galleon that got shipwrecked in Krem Quay, turning the main port into a salt marsh. He has repeatedly tried to steal Donkey and Diddy's Banana Hoard for reasons that aren't fully understood but involve starving the primates to death and occupying DK's Treehouse, effectively making him King of DK Island. To reach his goal, he has even gone as far as kidnapping Kong Family members such as DK and Diddy.**

Hiro: And he has plenty of abilities to aid him in his attempted conquest. In combat, K. Rool usually uses his size and strength, trying to tackle, crush, and even leap onto opponents. His strength is so great that he can generate shock waves by jumping, and actually surpasses Donkey Kong physically.

**MBStarscream: Additionally, despite his size, King K. Rool can actually be quite swift and speedy in battle, sometimes even moving faster than the Kongs can track.** **This is shown where he can leap from one end of the Gangplank Galleon to the other in one jump. K. Rool is also extremely durable. This is most prominently shown in Donkey Kong Country 2, when K. Rool survived tumbling down Crocodile Island before falling into shark-infested waters, and in Donkey Kong 64, when he was pummeled by K. Lumsy.**

Hiro: One of K. Rool's most defining characteristics is his stomach, which is covered in a sizable gold plate. Not only does this give K. Rool an added bit of defense and allow him to use it for a belly-flop attack, but it's possible he can attack with it at close-range. Though not a preferred option by any means, K. Rool can use his claws and teeth in an up-close scenario. His teeth are absolutely massive and his claws are somewhat sharp, the latter being able to casually slice apart barrels and other incoming objects.

**MBStarscream: K. Rool has shown on several occasions that he can either make himself less visible or downright invisible, giving the illusion of teleporting. Both in DKC2 and in DK64, K. Rool uses this before charging at the opponent. He's also qualified in magic, and capable of appealing to many powers.**

Hiro: K. Rool can seal away opponents behind a magical barrier if need be, as shown when this was used on the Banana Bird Queen. K. Rool has the ability to conjure magic and use it to make objects levitate/bring them to him, and has impressive range, lifting a banana tree from Kong Island all the way to his ship. In Donkey Kong Country, K. Rool boasts the ability to summon a barrage of large cannonballs to rain down on Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong.

**MBStarscream: In DK: Jungle Climber, K. Rool, after being damaged in battle, can turn temporarily invincible and the ability to assume a ball shape and bounce off surfaces rapidly. After being empowered by a Crystal Banana, K. Rool gains a multitude of different powers, such as manipulating the weather, summoning meteors, breathing a barrage of fireballs, and exploding mines.**

Hiro: K. Rool also has a large arsenal, like the crown sitting on his head. He can throw his crown at enemies like a boomerang that is incredibly sharp at the tips. The Blunderbuss is a giant gun fashioned into a sort of cannon. As such, it can fire two varieties of cannonball: normal, or spiked.

**MBStarscream: It also has the ability to suck in projectiles or people. If it sucks in a projectile, it will either serve as ammunition or will cause the Blunderbuss to backfire. He can also fire** v**arious bursts of smoke, which has different effects depending on the color: blue freezes you, red slows you down, and purple messes up your controls. It can emit a burst of fire that allows K. Rool to be propelled forwards and/or backwards, and can fire pineapples... somehow.**

Hiro: The Copter Pack allows K. Rool to fly and hover around, and he can throw out bombs and spiked mines to damage opponents with. As the name of the Magic Sealing Barrel suggests, K. Rool can seal people inside of it. The Klap Blaster or Klaptrap is usually by K. Rool's minions, though he himself has used it before. It can fire very small Klaptraps or explosive projectiles.

**MBStarscream: But bar none, K. Rool's deadliest weapon is his Mobile Island Fortress. In sheer size alone, it towers over DK Isle and, unlike the latter, it can be piloted and controlled. The most intimidating and powerful aspect of this island, however, is the Blast-O-Matic, a doomsday device installed on the thorax that threatened to completely obliterate DK Isle. That being said, the Blast-O-Matic requires a lengthy charge time and, if it backfires, can blow up Crocodile Isle instead.**

Hiro: K. Rool has proven time and time again to be a worthy adversary for the Kongs. He's stolen Donkey Kong's banana horde on multiple occasions, withstood 3 of Chunky Kong's Giant Punches before he got knocked out, made everyone on the island hate Donkey Kong, and even killed the latter by tricking him into eating a poisoned cake.

**MBStarscream: This croc may be tough, but he has his weaknesses. Despite his fair amount of intelligence, should K. Rool let his grandstanding nature get the better of him, he will become blindsided more often than he really should be. More often than not, the same trick will fool him more than once, as very frequently seen in his boss fights from DKC and DK 64. In the latter game, he will frequently turn to cheer the crowd on, showing his superiority complex.**

Hiro: His toes are also extremely sensitive, and he is somewhat insane and demented. But that doesn't mean King K. Rool isn't a dangerous foe. There's a very good reason for his status as leader of the Kremlings and archrival to the most powerful primate in fiction... physically, anyway.

*King K. Rool: Fools, while I watch you cower, this is my finest hour! Bait you on my hook just like a worm! Before I crush you like a bug, come over here, and give me a hug! It gives me so much joy to watch you squirm!*

## Fatal Fiction

*Mario flips a coin.*

Hiro: Well, King K. Rool has his territory advantage, but this boxing ring isn't big enough for two gluttonous dictators. Who shall keep their crown?

**MBStarscream: To quote Charles Dance, "Long live the king."**

*Crocodile Isle*

 Within a stadium in the basement of the ominous, reptile-themed tower that made up the base of the Kremlings, a boxing ring was the focus of its kingdom's eager vassals. Sir Kibbles, Waddle Dees, Kremlings, and even creatures from distant lands fill the air with their passionate cheering, their eyes locked upon the combatants in the ring. At the northwest post stood a large, blue penguin dressed in royal, red finery, with the peace sign embossed on the back of his robe. This avian was the debatable monarch of Dream Land known as **King Dedede**.

In the southeast, a rotund crocodile donned in a golden crown and bright red cape lounged in the canvas behind him, taking in the cheers of the adoring crowd. This was the ruthless commander of the Kremling Crew, **King K. Rool**.

Pointing his wooden mallet in K. Rool's direction, Dedede declared, "Imma clobber you so hard, your grandkids'll feel it!" Laughing at what he perceived as idle words, K. Rool responded, "Go on and try, lil' penguin! But we all know who the *real* king is around here!"

"If you mean "King of Fools", that's definitely you if you think you stand a chance against King Dedede!" Angered by the insult, K. Rool got into a combat stance, ready for the impending battle. "You're gonna eat those words big time, chump!"

"Why don't you come over here and make me, alligator?"

"I'm a crocodile, you uncultured swine!"

A loud ding gave the gluttons clearance to charge to the center of the ring.

**FIGHT!**

 Dedede jumped at K. Rool and swung his mallet down. K. Rool punched up at him, his fist clashing against the mallet and sending out a shockwave. Dedede backed up before swinging and hitting K. Rool three times. He then pushed his palm forward, knocking the Kremling king back. Regaining his footing, K. Rool threw his crown before rushing at Dedede. The penguin inhaled the crown but got hit by K. Rool's belly, making him spit it out. K. Rool grabbed his crown and put it back on before smashing Dedede over the head multiple times, grabbing his robe and slamming him into the ground. He then cocked his fist back and slammed it into Dedede's face, sending him flying towards his corner. The crowd went wild as K. Rool began to laugh and showboat.

Three little Kirbies flew around a stunned Dedede's head in a circle until the penguin managed to shake off his dizziness. Glaring at the boasting K. Rool, Dedede got to his feet and began to charge his Jet Hammer. With a mighty blow, Dedede nailed K. Rool in the chest, the force of the strike sending the crocodile flying towards the canvas. He bounced off the ropes and flew towards Dedede, who swung his mallet upward, launching a screaming K. Rool into the air. The reptilian tyrant crashed onto the floor as Dedede raised his mallet to bring it down on his opponent's belly.

He only hit the mat as K. Rool rolled out of the way. Dedede swung his mallet at K. Rool's head, but the crocodile ducked and rained heavy blows on the penguin's body. Dedede eventually leaped backward onto the canvas and generated a bolt of electricity from his hand. The blast deflected off of K. Rool's belly plate and instead struck an unlucky Waddle Dee in the audience, covering him in soot and ash. "Sorry!" Dedede apologized. He was suddenly knocked off the canvas by a cannonball that struck him in the gut. Leaping back into the ring, Dedede readied his mallet as he faced off against K. Rool, who had his Blunderbuss at the ready.

K. Rool began to fire multiple cannonballs from his weapon. Dedede was able to deflect most of the projectiles, resulting in many members of the audience getting hit. Upon realizing this and feeling twice as bad, Dedede opted to inhale the next cannonball and spit it at K. Rool, who ducked under it. The reptile pointed at Dedede and laughed nastily, but didn't notice the cannonball bouncing off of the canvas and flying back towards him until it had already collided with the back of his head and knocked him to the floor.

Now it was Dedede's turn to laugh, pointing at the downed crocodilian and looking at the crowd. Shaking his head, K. Rool angrily got to his feet, picked up his Blunderbuss and fired a purple cloud of smoke that entered the still-laughing Dedede's open mouth, causing him to start coughing and gagging. He took a second to clear his lungs from the poison before channeling the magics of the Star Rod into his mallet; immediately after, two clones of the king emerged from the ether. K. Rool watched this development before turning invisible, prompting the three Dededes to adopt confused expressions.

The real Dedede then winced in pain as his invisible opponent punched him across the face several times, then kicked him towards a corner of the ring. Dedede huffed angrily before spinning around in circles with his mallet out until he found his target, causing the leader of the Kremlings to become visible again. Dedede then inhaled K. Rool and spat him out towards another corner. The two Dedede clones jumped forward and hit K. Rool on the head, before pinning him between their mallets as the real Dedede unleashed a flurry of energy projectiles. K. Rool spun around and knocked the Dedede clones away, then got out his Blunderbuss again and sucked up Dedede's mallet into it (Uh, don't read into it), much to the penguin's shock. "Wha-- hey! That's *my* hammer!" He said indignantly.

"Want it back?" K. Rool asked tauntingly before firing the mallet out of the Blunderbuss at Dedede, hitting him in the face. Dedede grabbed his mallet and scowled at his reptilian opponent, overcome with anger. He jumped at K. Rool and twirled his mallet as he hit the Kremling ruler on the head, stunning him as he landed behind the crocodilian. Charging his Jet Hammer again, Dedede struck K. Rool hard enough to send him flying towards the canvas. As K. Rool bounced off the ropes, Dedede hit him with his mallet again and again, then inhaled him, jumped up in the air and spat him towards the ground.

As K. Rool weakly got up, he felt spikes pierce his back, making him shout in pain. Removing the sharp object from his back, K. Rool saw that it was a small spiked creature. Glaring at Dedede, K. Rool threw the Gordo at the penguin, who hit it with his mallet, deflecting it back at K. Rool. However, the Gordo deflected off of K. Rool's belly plate, so Dedede kept hitting it. The poor little creature was constantly knocked back and forth until it eventually struck K. Rool right between his eyes, much to Dedede's amusement. Scowling in anger, K. Rool threw the Gordo to the ground and tried to stomp on it, but had forgotten what the creature was known for. He hopped on his good foot in pain as Dedede was having a field day.

"You won't be laughing for long, ya big bird!" K. Rool shouted as he took out a Crystal Banana. Opening his mouth wide, K. Rool tossed the Crystal Banana into his maw and swallowed it in one gulp. He growled and roared as he grew and grew in size until he was ten, perhaps twenty times his own size as Dedede stared up at him, his eyes as big as saucers and his jaw inches from the ground. Grabbing Dedede like a child would an action figure, K. Rool threw the penguin right out of his fortress.

Miles away, Dedede landed on the jungle floor and slid, forming a trail until he came to a stop. Spitting out dirt, Dedede stood up and once again utilized the Star Rod's energy to grow to a mammoth size. Turning around, he saw K. Rool charging at him, and held his mallet tightly as the colossi resumed their match.

K. Rool swung his fists at Dedede, who ducked and swung his mallet into the crocodilian king's side. K. Rool jumped backward and held his side in pain, then summoned a series of meteors that rained from the sky towards Dedede. The penguin knocked two of them away with his mallet and inhaled a third one to spit it right into K. Rool's face. After taking a couple steps back, K. Rool started to breathe fireballs at Dedede, who defended himself with his trusty mallet. He charged his Jet Hammer and swung it at K. Rool's face, but the reptile grabbed the mallet and forced it out of Dedede's grip. He punched Dedede in the stomach twice, then planted a powerful uppercut into the avian's chin. The Kremling king then captured Dedede in a head-lock, the Dream Land monarch struggling to escape his opponent's strong grip.

He eventually managed to flip K. Rool onto his back and started slamming him into the ground multiple times, then threw him away. Something then appeared above the two fighters. Something shiny, with a cross-like pattern across it. A shiny spherical object.

It was a Smash Ball.

His face painted with a giddy grin, Dedede was about to hit the Smash Ball with his mallet, only for K. Rool to charge at him and hit him head-first in the gut, making the rival of Kirby double over. K. Rool then lifted Dedede above his head and tossed him aside, then punched the Smash Ball as hard as he could. The power-up had been given to him instantly, giving him an aura. Laughing evilly, K. Rool hit a recovering Dedede again, sending him flying further back as he then went to his ultimate weapon while reverting to his normal size: The Blast-O-Matic. Inside his fortress, K. Rool madly pushed a button on his throne, and a huge blue laser shot out of the Blast-O-Matic.

DK Island was consumed in a ginormous explosion, destroying it instantly. K. Rool continued to laugh like mad on his throne in the fortress, too distracted in his mirth to realize that an unharmed and greatly irritated Dedede was marching towards the Blast-O-Matic, charging his Jet Hammer. Each step the giant penguin took caused one huge splash after another and shook the earth.

K. Rool was about to say some taunting words to rub in his seeming victory, but with one final swing of Dedede's mallet, the Blast-O-Matic's head - and the entire body of King K. Rool - were completely destroyed, the decapitated fortress falling onto its side in the water. K. Rool's bloodied remains and shattered belly plate floated on the surface as King Dedede patted his with a hearty laugh, then raised his mallet into the air in victory, a smug grin on his face.

"And that's that!"

**FATALITY!**

## Results

**MBStarscream: Welp, that's another croc on our board of death.**

Hiro: King K. Rool was a formidable opponent, and both combatants could counter each other in terms of skills and abilities almost beat by beat. However, several elements ultimately led to Dedede's victory over the Kremling king.

**MBStarscream: K. Rool's arsenal was impressive, but was overshadow by Dedede's crazy mallets. Even the Blast-O-Matic couldn't help K. Rool out in this battle. While it could destroy an entire island, it was child's play compared to what Dedede has endured.**

Hiro: While neither Kirby nor Donkey Kong are hitting with their full force in their battles with their respective archenemies, even taking fractions of their strength shows that Kirby is vastly stronger. It is reasonable to assume that Dedede is comparable to Kirby, and as such, can deliver blows of planet-shattering force well beyond anything K. Rool could withstand.

**MBStarscream: Dedede wasn't just stronger and tougher, he was faster too. He once defeated Dark Meta Knight, who is Meta Knight's equal in every way. As mentioned, Meta Knight once flew from one end of the galaxy to the other in a few seconds. Assuming the Kirby universe's galaxy is similar to the Milky Way - which it would have to be since Shiver Star looks like a post-apocalyptic Earth - Meta Knight must have traveled 100,000 lightyears, or 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 kilometers. In a few seconds!**

Hiro: The fact that Dedede constantly keeps pace with Meta Knight supports that he should be just as fast. Ultimately, King K. Rool was not without his advantages in the fight, but for every field Dedede matches him in, there was another where he was outclassed.

**MBStarscream: King K. Rool just got swamped.**

Hiro: King Dedede wins.

## Advantages

### King Dedede (Winner)

* Stronger
* Faster
* More durable
* Hammers outmatched K. Rool's arsenal
* Has a more impressive rival
* The Blast-O-Matic wasn't very useful here