Clarke Varill

> "I'm the real Yamma, baby!"
>
> —Clarke, about to tongue Memphis in Yamma's body in "We Might've Messed Up"
>

**Clarke Varill** is a tiefling rogue in Mega Campaign. An infamous writer and college expellee, Clarke joined forces with the party after they saved his life at the hands of drow cultists. After the defeat of Sionis, Clarke was named an official representative of the newly restored Imperium, and was unofficially dubbed its king by Memphis.

## Appearance

Clarke is a red-skinned tiefling with black, slicked back hair. He has two short horns, a pencil mustache, and a long forked tail akin to a devil's. His outfit consists of a brown coat, basic white shirt, and burgundy tie. He has brown pants and black dress shoes.

## Personality

Flippant, facetious, and insufferably arrogant, Clarke is considered a menace by many. His self-image is at odds with his infamous reputation; he thinks himself charming and suave, though his actions continuously prove otherwise. Clarke repeatedly shows self-aggrandizing behavior, and his vast popularity feeds his inflated ego and self-absorbed attitude.

Clarke completely lacks inhibition, courtesy, and any sense of privacy or personal space. He's regularly disrespectful, profane, and holds deep prejudice towards gnomes from when his gnomish professor expelled him from his college. Despite his older age, Clarke still manages to act very juvenile. He's not above name-calling and gloating, and acts childishly even in the face of danger.

Despite these negative characteristics, Clarke has been shown to put the needs of others above his own. He isn't entirely without redeeming qualities, and at times displays moments of genuine bravery - examples being when he'd gone out of his way to save Weesin from a spider-monster, and when he agreed to be lowered down into the vat that held the Elder Brain to cut a piece of it out.

## History

### Banana Campaign

Clarke's character originated in the Banana Campaign before he was reprised in Mega. Throughout all the misadventures had, he eventually died and came back to life as a warlock. However, despite these newfound powers, Clarke unfortunately met his end yet again at the hands of a giant beetle monster. He was given a chance to redeem himself in death, and spent the rest of his existence roaming the afterlife.

### Pre-Mega Campaign

Clarke was adopted by an affluent family. He eventually went to college, but was expelled by a gnome professor and afterwards harbored an intense hatred for the race. Clarke began publishing his written works, and from this garnered acclaim throughout Imperium as an esteemed author. His works include *"Rise of the Gnomish Empire"* and *"Three Men and a Turtle"*, the latter of which details the adventures of him and his late tortle companion Shelly. Said book was banned from Memphis' church.

At some point, Clarke married Penelope, a fellow tiefling rogue. They spent about 4 years together adventuring and thieving, but eventually separated when Penelope left forever through the open window of their bedroom. The painful departure led to Clarke turning to a *lot* sex and alcohol to fill the big ol' hole in his heart.

### Post-Mega Campaign

Following the campaign's conclusion, Clarke, along with Havai, Memphis, and Weesin, go sailing beyond the mainland in an attempt to repopulate the land. The mission proves successful, with the four acting as the official representatives of Imperium. Memphis dubs Clarke the *very* much official *"King of Imperium".* The next three years are spent organizing the effort of restoring life to Imperium, such as repairing ruins and relocating new inhabitants. Eventually, Clarke settles down and finds residence with Felix, who reluctantly houses the tiefling.

In "The Super Mega Campaign Revival Episode", Clarke is content hanging back while the party goes off to rescue Yamma. He now enjoys a life of perpetually wearing a bathrobe and screwing women every day.

## Abilities

### Additional Tools

* **Dust of Sneezing and Coughing**: Gifted to him by Havai. When used, the targeted creature begins to sneeze uncontrollably.

## Relationships

### Memphis Farora

> "Don't be a square."
>
> —Clarke to Memphis on numerous occasions
>

Within mere minutes of meeting her, Clarke readily dubbed Memphis *"the hot one"* of the party and would continue to incessantly flirt with her afterwards. Clarke was particularly fond of the elf, and while he thought her very smart, he still believed she'd never be as smart as him. He enjoyed getting a rise out of Memphis and bringing out aspects of her that have been repressed due to her cloistered lifestyle, such as when he goaded her into drinking alcohol for the first time, or when he had an extremely short-cut dress tailored for her to wear to the Crystal Palace. Memphis' highly reactionary and defensive personality was an endless source of delight for Clarke, who instigated her at any given opportunity.

When Clarke departed from the party to find a means of reversing the body-switch with Yamma, he shows legitimate affection and sympathy for Memphis. The two shared an emotional hug, and before leaving Clarke admits to Memphis that he "really did like her", and leaves her a personal letter. Afterwards, Clarke reaches Memphis via Sending, and both express that they long to see each other again.

Memphis revives Clarke after he'd been found and killed by Sionis' exactors and is able to reverse the body-switch. Her, Clarke, and Havai take off to the islands beyond Imperium to try and find other civilization. By the end of the campaign, the two are able to find true friends in each other.

### Havai

Clarke immediately grew a dislike towards Havai and his scathing nature. He took pleasure in provoking Havai's temper and poking fun at his appearance, showing the two were bitter teammates from the start. After having spent more time with the child, Clarke attempted to connect with Havai one night's watch and asked why he seemed to be perpetually upset. Havai only grew defensive at his questioning and refused to offer answers, but thanked Clarke the next day for at least trying. Clarke eventually became fond of Havai, and by the end the two shared a stronger relationship than ever.

### Yamma

Clarke enjoyed Yamma's idiocy and often enabled her recklessness, much to the annoyance of his fellow party members. He was entertained by her antics and was impressed by how much power she held, something that amazed him even further when he triggered her Super Saiyan transformation while piloting her body.

Clarke felt true regret and grief knowing he sent Yamma to her death at the hands of Alethra. He leaves the party to search for ways of reversing the body-swap and bringing the saiyan back to life.

### Weesin

Clarke was amused by Weesin's dense and dopey bumbling and encouraged his half-witted behavior. Clarke regarded Weesin as a protege of sorts.

### Duncan Varnash

Clarke and Duncan shared an antagonistic relationship. Since their first meeting, Clarke was entirely willing to kill Duncan, wanting to ensure he didn't inform his superiors of us having lied to enter Eraney Keep. Duncan often chastised Clarke for his immaturity, and Clarke would shoot back with petty insults and racist remarks. Regardless, as Clarke spent more days with Duncan, the tiefling grew to trust him.

### Felix Redthorn

> "...They missed *you?*"
>
> —Felix to Clarke
>

Felix very much detests Clarke as a person. He finds it hard to believe anyone could find any shred of a redeemable quality in the tiefling, but nevertheless just barely tolerates his existence - more or less for the party's sake.

## Trivia

* Clarke has died the most out of every character, having died twice in Banana Campaign and another two times in Mega Campaign.
* He was the first player character to have a last name.