7.8.0 Patch Notes

* Patch Notes

 –

**Originally posted by Ornyx on the Official Forums as a 2017 April Fools**.

  **Ornyx**

**\*\*ALPHA DRAFT\*\* WoW 7.8.0 Patch Notes (DO NOT PUBLISH)**

[[Note to community team: when you write the intro paragraph for this, include some flavor text about Mecha-Arthas, and maybe do some foreshadowing about an upcoming conflict with Vol'jin Prime.]]

**This is an April Fools article.**
This article is a Blizzard April Fools joke. Its content is not part of official *Warcraft* lore, but represents one of Blizzard's jokes.

## New & Updated Features

### New Zone: The Underneath

* Very strange things are happening in Duskwood, and it's up to you to investigate the disappearance of a local boy.
* Team up with an all-star cast of heroes, including a mysterious girl, several of the boy's friends, and the boy's mother (as portrayed by the wonderfully talented Onona Windrider).
* The story plays out in eight chapters, which you can experience at your own pace, but we know you're just going to binge them all weekend anyway.

### Story and World

* Corrected an issue causing Dadgar's name to incorrectly be presented as "Khadgar."
* The Armies of Legionfall have been successful in their mission to defeat the Burning Legion. Azeroth is finally safe, from all enemies, forever. Now's a good time to brush up on your general chat skills.
* To better express the core story of the Legion expansion, all World Quests will now include harpies shouting at you about whatever it is you're doing.
* Increased the damage dealt by lava and similar environmental hazards to be juuuuust enough to kill you before you can jump out.

### Raids

* Players must now have the achievement " [Ahead of the Curve: Kil'jaeden]" in order to zone into the Tomb of Sargeras raid.

* *Developers' notes: We've heard extensive feedback from players about the inconvenience of manually screening group applicants based on their achievements. We hope that by automating and enforcing these requirements on our end, we can streamline the process, so that players can more quickly organize raid groups and begin working towards their ultimate goal of defeating Kil'jaeden.*

* Additionally, players will not be able to enter any raid instance without having first completed the Maw of Souls dungeon at least 500 times on Mythic Keystone difficulty.
* Mythic difficulty raids have been retuned around a new group size of 21.2 players. We feel that the extra 1.2 players will allow an extra layer of depth that we could not have achieved with round integer values.
* We're pleased to announce that the award for Best Opera Performance goes to... Westfall Story!
* Portals to Dalaran have been added to each room in the Tomb of Sargeras raid. This should make changing talents much more convenient for those of you who are still too cheap to buy Tomes of the Tranquil Mind.
* *[[Hey, encounter designers: have we adjusted Onyxia's Deep Breath ability lately? Can someone check?]]*
* We've introduced the rest of Withered J'im's family to the World Boss rotation, including Withered J'ane, Withered J'ethro, and Withered J'steve.
* I'm sorry, no... there's a mistake. Wikket, you guys won Best Opera Performance.
* Added a series of achievements unique to Raid Finder difficulty:

* *Developers' notes: Not all players are motivated by powerful set bonuses and striking armor sets. Some want the lasting prestige of achievements, and while we offer countless achievements that are specific to other difficulties, there have never been achievements that are only available through Raid Finder. That ends here.*
* Raid Finder: Darkbough - Defeat Il'gynoth without ever accidentally damaging his Eye with a Nightmare Ichor's explosion.
* Raid Finder: Tormented Guardians – Defeat Cenarius without engaging any of the hostile creatures in the corrupted Moonglade.
* Raid Finder: Rift of Aln – During the Xavius encounter, loot at least two Legendary items from the Overflowing Loot Chests hidden in the mists of the Rift.
* Raid Finder: Arcing Aqueducts – Defeat at least 1000 Crystalline Scorpids before defeating Skorpyron.
* Raid Finder: Royal Athenaeum – Stun 24 other players with one explosion from Arcanic Release.
* Raid Finder: Nightspire – Defeat Tichondrius after having dealt more total damage to Tainted Bloods than to Tichondrius himself.
* Raid Finder: Betrayer's Rise – Successfully avoid being caught in any of those scary-looking pink bubbles that pop up.

* After careful consideration, Odyn has admitted that beating his champions nearly to death immediately before sending them to battle in Helheim was perhaps not the wisest course of action. As such, the Odyn encounter in Trial of Valor has been replaced with a written exam.

### Dungeons

* We're thrilled at the positive response we've seen regarding the Mythic+ system in Legion. We're expanding on that general concept with the following game modes:

* Mythic -
* Mythic ×
* Mythic ÷
* (Mythic - x) = (22 + y) ÷ 7. Solve for Mythic.

* Added several new Mythic Keystone affixes:

* Flocking: Your party will be periodically attacked by Seagulls, which will immediately stun the tank and kill the healer.
* Organic: Has no noticeable effect on the dungeon itself, but it's probably a lot healthier.
* Squeamish: Every time an enemy dies, all players will be totally grossed out and have to look away for a minute to catch their breath.
* Forgetful: We don't actually remember what this one does, sorry.

* Corrected an issue that would cause the Grand Challenger's Bounty cache to occasionally give you an item for a slot where you weren't already wearing a Legendary.
* It's the Eye of Azshara. It's the thrill of the fight.
* The Ready Check feature has been updated to be more consistent with the overall theme of Legion.

* When prompted, players will now be asked if they are prepared.
* They may then choose to respond with either "I am prepared" or "I am not prepared."

### Holidays

* To help further express the overall vision for Micro-Holidays as fun, low-impact events, we've added some new categories, including Mini-Holidays, Nano-Holidays, Smallidays, and Un-Holidays.
* Winter Veil has been cancelled this year. You know what you did.
* A new Micro-Holiday has been added: Create Your Own Holiday Day.

* This new Micro-Holiday allows you the freedom to celebrate anything you can imagine!
* As soon as you log in, you'll notice a clean slate available to you – no holiday NPCs, no decorations, nothing to stand in the way of you and your imagination.
* Gather your friends, and celebrate! Or don't! Use this non-Holiday Holiday to do whatever you like.

### Artifact Weapons

* New interface option: Use scientific notation for displaying Artifact Power costs for Artifact Traits.

* *Developer's note: You're going to need this.*

* Artifact Knowledge can now be researched to 9000. We're not sure what will happen to Artifact Power levels if that gets any higher.
* Someone pointed out that the words "Artifact" and "Relic" mean basically the same thing, so we've simplified these two systems. You can now put Artifacts in your Artifacts.
* New mechanic: Artifact Talents

* In addition to your Talents, Honor Talents and Artifact Traits, you can now choose among several Artifact Talents.
* *[[What do these actually do?]]*

* We've been seeing a lot of feedback from some players who are concerned that they won't be able to earn every Artifact Appearance available to them, particularly on their alternate characters. To correct this issue, you can now earn infinite Artifact Appearances.

## Changes

### Legendary Items

* Your base chance to receive a Legendary has been increased by 30%, but your luck now increases at a 50% slower rate. We're pretty sure this is better but we're honestly just guessing at this point.
* We've made several other improvements to the Bad Luck Protection system. As such, it has been renamed "Mediocre Luck Protection."
* We've added a chance for Legendaries to drop when performing the following activities:

* Fishing
* Taking flight paths
* Dancing on a mailbox while AFK
* Asking Dadgar about the future
* Nomi

* As part of our continued efforts to balance Legendary items, they can no longer be repaired. This way, we're pretty sure it'll just work itself out eventually.
* Many commonly-used addons have been reclassified as Legendary. You may only use two of these addons at any time.
* We've thoroughly interrogated Sephuz, but he just won't break. We remain confident that we can one day learn his Secret.
* [Cord of Infinity] has been redesigned again. It now grants  [Mage Armor] a new, unique icon.
* [Anger of the Half-Giants] is very sorry and didn't mean what it said about you. Anger of the Half-Giants is just going through some tough times right now and is having trouble controlling its temper.
* In addition to its current effects,  [Prydaz, Xavaric's Magnum Opus] will now invite you over for dinner more regularly and send you polite text messages every few hours asking how you're doing. Please, it just wants you to like it.
* *[[Note to designers: How have we not made a Legendary S.E.L.F.I.E. Cam yet? Or did we do that already? We may have done that already.]]*

### Professions

* Some players reported that Nomi's research was occasionally granting recipes. We were unable to reproduce this behavior internally, but believe we've fixed the issue causing it to happen. Please continue to report this clearly unintended behavior if it should continue.
* As part of our ongoing efforts to reduce unnecessary complexity, Herbalists have been given an ability that just creates gold.
* The recipe for  [Frost Oil] no longer requires Dadgar's Whiskers.
* The recipe for Azsuna Frittata has been removed from the game.

* *Developer's Note: While we still believe in the core philosophy behind Azsuna Frittata, it wasn't exactly problem-free, and as the initial craze has now passed, we feel removing it is the right choice.*

* Posting auctions of tradeskill materials in stack sizes of 1 now has a chance to delete a Legendary item. If you have no Legendary items, it will delete your character instead.
* No changes have been made to Prairie Dogs.

### PvP

* With the release of Patch 7.8.0, Legion Season 1 titles will be redistributed once again for the last time we totally swear.
* By popular request, PvP vendors have been added. Head to your nearest capital city if you would like to purchase some PvP.
* Several new PvP Brawls have been added:

* Arathi Bluster: It's your favorite point-capture map, but with the Violent Winds effect from Eye of Azshara active. Don't get blown away!
* Eye of the Volcano: We've taken the gameplay you know and love from Eye of the Storm and placed it in the center of an active volcano. Hope your lava jumping skills are up to scratch!
* Warsong Belch: Available only during Brewfest, you'll rise to the challenge of capturing the flag while all players are forcibly inebriated!
* Strand of the Really Ancients: Travel back in time to an era before engineered weapons and break through those huge doors with just your bare fists. Hey, you wanted longer battlegrounds!

* Implemented a new feature that automatically adjusts PvP stat templates for a given spec whenever a popular streamer complains about it on Twitter.

## Classes

*[[Community team: remember to go through this list and randomly remove a few changes before you post this.]]*

### Death Knight

* We've heard some concerns from the Death Knight community about the location of their Order Hall, and a general desire for a change of scenery. As such, Acherus has been relocated to Silithus.
* Several Death Knight talents have been retuned:

* [Will of the Necropolis] now has a 35% chance to activate. It been renamed to Might of the Necropolis.
* [Abomination's Might] now has a 50% reduced chance to activate. It has been renamed to Abomination's Maybe.
* [All Will Serve] now only has a 30% chance to summon an additional minion, and has an additional 20% chance to summon no minions at all. It has been renamed to Some Could Possibly Serve, If They Feel Like It.

* [Wraith Walk]'s tooltip has been updated:

* It now reads, "Causes the Death Knight to immediately become inextricably lodged within the nearest crack or crevice between them and their target."
* Functionality unchanged.

* [Death Grip] can now be recast within 10 seconds to put that thing back where it came from, or so help me...
* [Rime] has been removed, for reasons.
* [Glacial Advance] has been updated to advance even faster than scientists previously predicted.
* [Breath of Sindragosa] now makes you suffer as your pathetic magic betrays you.

### Demon Hunter

* We've automated the character naming process to get players interested in trying the Demon Hunter in-game quicker. You'll automatically be given a traditional Demon Hunter name, such as "Skillidan" "Chillidan" or "Ìllïdåñ"
* We've expanded the Demon Hunter ability set to include several other iconic Demon Hunter abilities, including:

* [Drain Soul]
* [Chaos Bolt]
* [Soulstone]
* [Ritual of Summoning]
* [Unending Breath]

* We're happy to announce an expanded version of  [Fel Rush]! We hope you enjoy Fel Rush The Rock: Arcatraz Edition.
* New Talent: The Floor Is Lava:

* You may now jump continually in the air. In fact, you have to. Touching the ground will result in immediate, painful death.

* [Last Resort] will no longer incorrectly cut the Demon Hunter's life into pieces.
* The inventor of Demon Hunters' Sigils has declared, long after the fact, that they're actually supposed to be called "siggils". Please stop saying "sijil" with the soft "g". Seriously -- this drives some people crazy and they're going to correct you for the rest of your life.
* All character customization features, such as Transmogrification and the Barber Shop, have been disabled for Demon Hunters. It's not like you can actually see what you look like through those ridiculous blindfolds, anyway.
* The Honor Talent " [Awaken the Demon Within]" has been removed. The Demon Within is already pretty woke.

### Druid

* Guardian Druids are now immune to damage.
* Balance Druids have had their primary resource redesigned once again, with a different take on the Balance Bar system used in Mists of Pandaria and Warlords of Draenor:

* This new and improved version of the Balance Bar is instead called the Balance Beam.
* The Balance Beam uses motion controls, along with a specially-designed peripheral, to determine the Druid's efficiency based on their gymnastic performance.
* As you spin and twirl around the Balance Beam, a team of judges will grade your performance. The higher your score, the more damage you deal.
* Balance Druids looking for an additional challenge may choose the "Uneven Bars" talent.

* Worgen Balance Druids can no longer cast  [Full Moon], because of what happened last time.
* As  [Infected Wounds] no longer reduce the enemy's healing taken, we've also removed the effect that caused them to crawl within the enemy's skin.
* All Druids can once again cast  [Cyclone], but only on other Druids.
* [Moment of Clarity] now causes Feral Druids to be mentally taken out of the fight. It's like everything just totally made sense, man.
* [Savage Roar] is now 15% more savage.

### Hunter

* To avoid confusion with Demon Hunters, the Hunter class has been renamed to "Shooty Stabby Outdoorsy Types."
* Hati had puppies! You can attempt to control them like other pets, but there's a good chance they'll just chew on your furniture instead.
* New glyph added for  [A Murder of Crows]: A Whole Lot of Pepes
* Ducks may now be tamed as pets.
* New Ability: Aspect of the Chupacabra:

* Causes you to transform into some kind of dog-lizard and attack nearby livestock.
* Cannot be used while the Hunter has a goat pet active, to prevent mishaps.
* Gives you... a bonus to... cacti? Or something?
* *[[To be honest, I'm not even sure what a chupa-thingy is, I just like the name. It's got a ring to it.]]*

* [Arcane Shot],  [Multi-Shot], and  [Sidewinders] now generate so much Focus that Marksmanship Hunters can't even see their whole world crumbling around them.
* Vulnerable replaced by new effect: Triggered

* Your target is offended that you'd even point that thing at them.
* How dare you?

### Mage

* [Aluneth] can now be added to your ignore list.
* The Artifact Traits " [The Storm Rages]" and " [Let It Go]" have been removed from the game, along with the  [Frozen Orb] ability, because seriously that movie came out like 4 years ago and we're tired of hearing about it EVERY SINGLE DAY.
* [Cone of Cold] never bothered me, anyway.
* [Conflagration] has been removed from Fire Mages and given to Destruction Warlocks instead. We're not entirely sure how it got there in the first place.
* [Arcane Missiles] and  [Arcane Explosion] have been given a visual update! They're now slightly more purple.
* Mages now have +10% bonus to Class Fantasy.
* Mages who open a portal to Northrend Dalaran after finishing a Legion dungeon run will be immediately and permanently banned from the Internet. Yes, the whole thing.

### Monk

* Brewmasters who attempt to use  [Ironskin Brew],  [Purifying Brew], and  [Fortifying Brew] too regularly will now be cut off and asked to call a taxi.
* [Crackling Jade Lightning] damage reduced by 30%.

* *[[Note to class designers: this is a preventative measure to prevent Windwalkers from being too strong once they figure out our secret DPS rotation]]*

* [Keg Smash] has been removed. Seriously, that's just wasteful.
* [Storm, Earth, and Fire] renamed Earth, Wind, and Fire. This spell now chases the clouds away throughout the month of September.
* As part of an effort to present a more fun and lighthearted image to younger audiences, Mistweavers have replaced  [Essence Font] with Comic Sans.

* After using  [Thunder Focus Tea], Comic Sans will be replaced with Papyrus instead.

* [Teachings of the Monastery] has received some new curriculum, and will now be focusing on Common Core.
* [Resuscitate] no longer requires mouth-to-mouth contact on Undead players.
* [Dark Side of the Moon] has been reworked so that it now lines up better with that old movie you're watching.

### Paladin

* Choosing the  [Unbreakable Spirit] talent will now cause the Paladin to never stop chasing their dreams, Titus.
* After casting  [Tyr's Deliverance], any offline or out of range party members will be left a note indicating that they may collect their healing from the Paladin Order Hall between 8 and 10 PM.
* We made some changes to the  [Cavalier] talent, but we won't bother explaining them to you. They're probably too complicated for you to understand.
* [Lay on Hands] will now properly respect the target's personal space.
* We've accidentally scrambled the names of various abilities using the words "Divine," "Protection," "Hammer," "Holy," or "Blessing."

* We're not entirely sure what Hammer of Protection or Blessing of Divine Holy are, but they're probably pretty good.

* The errant letter 'e' has been removed from the names of the talents Bacon of Faith, Bacon of the Lightbringer, and Bacon of Virtue.
* [Luminescence] renamed to something that's an actual word.

### Priest

* Discipline Priests have returned from an extensive off-site training session at Nar'thalas Academy. They are now 100% more Disciplined.
* [Divine Hymn] now summons a panel of celebrity judges who might, if you cast it really well, ask you to be on their team. This is what you've been dreaming of your whole life!
* [Shadow Word: Death] has been given a name more befitting its effect. It's now called Shadow Word: One More Step On The Unwavering Road To Oblivion.
* Holy Priests who choose the  [Apotheosis] talent and then never activate it even once through the entire boss fight will now be disconnected from the game for a week. I mean, really. Ugh.
* That tentacle that Priests can summon now also spawns the other nine, making for a total of ten tickles, as intended.
* We've outsourced the rest of this section to the Shadow specialization.

* Hope is an illusion.
* Embrace the void.
* Your heart WILL EXPLODE.
* NYARL'FGWTH!
* AIGN RYOGL THO'GOTHAYL U'THRGAL!
* rez pls

### Rogue

* Rogues will now shoot arrows more slowly.
* New Ability: Spectral Sight Cloak

* When activated, makes the Rogue invisible to  [Spectral Sight].
* *[[Reminder for the class team: Don't forget to give Demon Hunters a "Spectral Sight Cloak Sight" ability 2 days before releasing the patch. Otherwise we won't be able to add "Spectral Sight Cloak Sight Cloak" in 7.8.5.]]*

* [Dirty Tricks] is now a TV show that looks behind the scenes at what magicians really do for a living, starring Mike Rowe.
* Outlaw Rogues may now also shoot the deputy.
* Corrected 73 more "rouge" misspellings in chat. Someday, we'll get them all.
* The Assassination ability  [Vendetta] now causes the Rogue to go on a decade-long quest of revenge.
* Several Outlaw Rogues have been arrested. Turns out renaming the spec was a pretty big tip for local law enforcement.
* [Shroud of Concealment] now posts a zone-wide yell when a member of your party moves outside the clearly-marked boundary, is spotted by an enemy, and then tries to tell you that they weren't even close. Stop lying, Todd.

### Shaman

* *[[shower thought: do we really need this section? Let's talk Monday. I vote we cut it entirely.]]*
* Shaman who pronounce the name of their class incorrectly will no longer be allowed entry to their Order Hall.

* Also, people who say "Shamans" are just the worst.

* [Overcharge] now has a 100% chance of occurring when you take your car in to the shop.
* [Sentry Totem] has been returned to the game.
* Just kidding. We're actually removing some other totems.
* [Spirit Walk] has been re-routed around that construction zone that seems like it's never going to be finished.
* [Ancestral Vision] is now 10% less creepy when you're doing things in the bathroom.
* [Hailstorm] now seems to happen a lot more frequently than you recall in this part of the world.
* Shaman in  [Ghost Wolf] form will now be regularly assured by nearby NPCs that they're good dogs, Brent.

### Warlock

* Felguards have stopped playing their records backwards.
* [Rain of Fire] will now correctly create a downpour of both rain and fire. In some cases, this will result in a beautiful rainbow. Other times, the rain will extinguish the fire and nothing will happen. That's just, like, the cycle of life and stuff.
* [Unstable Affliction] has had its functionality extended to more accurately suit its unstable nature. You can no longer predict exactly what Unstable Affliction is going to do. Sometimes it heals the target. Sometimes it takes 9 seconds to cast. Sometimes you'll just explode. Good luck!
* All talents named "Grimoire" have been renamed "Book", with the exception of the Shepherd Grimoire. We couldn't find a good place for it in the Warcraft movie, so we just killed it off in the first 20 minutes.
* [Cataclysm] now deals damage equal to 1200% of spell power (was 1000%), and is remembered 20% more fondly than it was about four years ago.
* [Shadowfury] has been replaced by Nightfury, which must be trained extensively, and is kind of toothless.
* [Power Trip] now causes Warlocks to automatically kick guildmates who disagree with their thoughts on loot distribution.

### Warrior

* Weapons and shields equipped by Warriors will now lose durability every time they hit a target, and will break entirely once their durability reaches 0.

* *Developer's Note: This change will better emphasize the core Warrior fantasy as the appointed knights of Azeroth. Note that you'll probably want to bring several weapons to each boss encounter. Of course, if you run out, you could always just grab a random skeleton's arm or something.*

* The talent " [Double Time]" has had its name simplified to "Charges." Warriors who take Charges still gain another charge of  [Charge], andCharges' charges of Charge will charge faster.
* [Whirlwind] now has an additiona [Opportunity Strikes] when you least expect it!
* MORTAL COMBO! Dana-nana-nana-nana-nah-nah.
* [Bladestorm] is now 15% scarier when you didn't think to bring an umbrella when you left this morning.
* [Morale Killer] now sometimes fails to reduce the cooldown of  [Demoralizing Shout]. Why do you have to be so negative all the time, anyway?
* [Carnage] now covers the Warrior with venom, causing them to deal increased damage to those weird spider-men in Suramar.
* [Bloodbath] now covers the Warrior with blood, causing a strong sense of déjà vu.
* [Warpaint] now covers the Warrior with paint, causing them to continue beating this dead horse.
* Blizzard is now hiring! We're looking for someone with fresh, new ideas.