recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Maurice Dribble

## Bio

**Maurice Dribble** is a former English military officer in Great Britain. He doesn't seem to have any notable events in his life.

Dibble seems to have been born somewhere in the Late 1890s or Early 1900s. His parents (Benny Hill and Eira Heath) spent their honeymoon at the Happy Hours Hotel with his father spending much of the time with his right shoe stuck to his foot because of a knot in it. His father doted heavily to his pregnant mother, often racing from the house to care for her on the grounds, later hiring a nanny (Connie Georges) for the birth.

After he was born, Dribble's father slowed down in his care, trying to leave his late night feedings to his mother. In grammar school, young Maurice (Richard Mottau) was often repimanded by his teacher (Michael Sharvell-Martin) for tomfoolery. After many whippings, he protects himself with a magazine down the seat of his pants.

Dribble later attended Oxford University, basically dating his teachers (Yvonne Paul, Valerie Stanton and Connie Georges in order to pass his classes. After graduating, he turns up at the Labor Exchange to claim unemployment wages, only to drink so much beer at the Prince Of Wales that he later stumbles into an Army Recruiting Office and joining the military.

Bumbling through boot camp, Dribble is an annoyance to his commanding officer (Nicolas Parsons). A minor injury leads to him becoming an officer, a position he uses to steal the lady friends (Valerie Stanton) from his former commanding officer (Nicolas Parsons), but he is completely ineffectual on the battlefield, running from the explosions and gunfire. Later in his military career, he awards medals to out-standing soldiers in uniform, including female officers (Valerie Stanton).
Unfortunately, health woes take over his life and he retires home to the house of his parents (Wally Goodman and Lillian Padmore). A surgery helps extend his life until his health woes return and he retires to the Old Peoples Home in Pollop Borough where he spends his time playing cards with the staff. One day after playing strip poker with a very lovely nurse (Yvonne Paul), he gets four aces and has a heart attack. He is buried at the Haven of Peace Cemetery.

## Trivia

* This sketch was possibly made over into the story of Gavin Blod. Both sketches cover the character from "cradle to the grave" with a side trek though the Army with glimpses into the afterlife.
* The "Teecher is a twit" chalkboard graffiti later turns up on a school chalkboard in the Girls Girls Girls Nightclub on March 23, 1977.
* The church in this sketch looks like it could be the same one in The Gold Digger sketch.

## Gallery

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Newer Faces

## Bio

**Newer Faces** is a British television talent show hosted by Derek Hobsen (Benny Hill) and judged by Ted Ray, Mickey Most, Clifford Davis and Tony Hatch (all played by Benny Hill). The acts in the show include regular people (and whole families) in acts consisting of Melanie Head, John Thomas, Happy Max, The Odd Balls and Versatile Bentwoods, a family of talented and optimistic performers, featuring Uncle Jackie (Jackie Wright) as a tap dancer, Vera (Diana Darvey), who loses her underwear while dancing and Uncle Joe (Benny Hill) who tap-dances and plays his teeth, knocking out his front teeth. Mother Bentwood (Stella Moray) stumbles through a song before Uncle Joe attempts a ventriloquist act aided by a two family members (Samantha Stevens) and (Henry McGee), who is briefly hidden behind the falling backdrop. The second relative, identified as Uncle Henry, tries a bicycle act before crashing. Uncle Ben next starts a magic act, nearly fatally impaling Uncle Jackie when he is handed the wrong prop. His last two acts are a balloon act with Mother Bentwood and Uncle Benny as a strong man with two unnamed female family members (Samantha Stevens and Lee Gibson) performing cartwheels. The other family members join in the act with Uncle Jackie wearing a bandage on his head.

After the act, the relative acts stand by on camera and watch as the judges grade them by presentation, content and star quality, making several off the cuff comments about the family on the way. Mickey calls Mother Bentwood an "old bird" and makes a pass to the little blonde (Samantha Stevens). At most, they rate the Versatile Bentwoods at 101 points, not nearly enough to defeat the previous winner Happy Max (Bob Todd) at 107 points.

## Trivia

* "Newer Faces" is a parody of the pre-"American Idol" talent series "New Faces" which aired on ITV from 1973 to 1978 and from 1986 to 1988.
* Samantha Stevens looks surprised when Benny lifts her off her feet.
* Bob Todd and Anne Bruzac play unnamed members of the Brentwoods.
* Yvonne Dearman plays an unnamed contestant, possibly Melanie Head. She seems to have a dog act.

## Gallery

* Derek Hobsen
* Ted Ray
* Mickey Most
* Tony Hatch
* Clifford Davis
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Mandy Perryment

**Mandy Perryment** is an English actress and casting director, known for the movies "Harry and Harriet," "The Music Machine" and "Claudia." She was born on July 9, 1960 in London, England and started her acting career as a child actor playing lead roles in many British TV Dramas including "Storybook International" and "Crown Court." She left stage school at 16 and spent five years working as a dancer, briefly appearing as a pre-"Hill's Angels" dancer on "The Benny Hill Show" in 1978 before returning to acting in 1981. She appeared in several plays in London's West End, including "Noise's Off" at the Savoy Theater, "Singin’ In the Rain" at The London Palladium and "Some Like It Hot" at the Prince Edward Theater. Mandy also appeared several times on British and American TV during the Eighties, appearing on "Crown Court," "The Kenny Everett Show," "Let There Be Love," "The Love Boat," "Fresh Fields" and "Boon."

Perryment had her own TV series, "The Deadly Ernest Horror Show," which achieved cult status across Europe. Her success was also followed by the series, "Dog Boy" and "Rhondi." She also appeared in a record number of commercials and was one of the most-in demand photographic models of her generation, being one of Select Models original 8 Girls. In 1998, she started "Mandy Perryment Casting," celebrating ten successful years in business in September 2008.
Lillian Padmore

**Lilian Padmore** is an English television actress, known for "Rupert of Hentzau" and "King's Rhapsody." Not much is known about her life or career. She was billed as both "Lillian" Padmore and "Lilian" Padmore through her career, her first break-throughs in the television movies, "King's Rhapsody" and "Rupert of Hentzau." She also appeared in episodes of the "Z Cars," "Play for Today," "The Morecambe & Wise Show" and "Upstairs, Downstairs" before appearing on four episodes of "The Benny Hill Show." She also starred as the cook in the TV mini-series "Pollyanna."

## Episode(s)

* Is This Your Life
* Fun in the Kitchen
* Woodstick
* The Common Market Square Dance
Guitar Fey Ballet Company

## Bio

The **Guitar Fey Ballet Company** is a British ballet troupe who produces a televised ballet performance for television. The performance features two performers (Benny Hill and Charmaine Seal) performing a pantomime of a man haunted by an old love.

The performance, however, is completely lost on three eccentric viewers (Benny Hill, Rita Webb and Nicole Shelby) who fail to understand its symbolism. Criticizing and critiquing it, they call the male performer a "Nancy" and comparing him to a milkman named Cyril, even questioning his running away from the girl.

## Trivia

* The spelling of "Guitar Fey" is a bit in doubt. It comes from the opening narration from David Hamilton.
* This sketch was later remade as The Statue in 1981.
* The music played in the sketch has been identified as an excerpt of the second movement of "Concierto de Aranjuez" by Joaquin Rodrigo.

## Gallery

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Lorna Lesley

**Lorna Lesley** is an English-Australian actress probably best known for the movies "Chain Reaction," "Aftershocks," "Resistance" and "Rabbit-Proof Fence."

Born Lorna Leslie in 1959 in Yorkshire, England, she became an actress. Her first TV appearances included roles in "Number 96" with Christina Danielle, Nat Nixon and Ron Shand, "King's Men," "Alvin Purple" and "The Outsiders." In 1977, she starred in Benny Hill: Down Under playing Lucy Jardine to Benny Hill. Credited as "Lorna Lesley" through much of her career, her film work includes the movies "Caddie," "Newsfront," "Little Boy Lost," "The Chain Reaction" and "Stanley: Every Home Should Have One."
Gaylord Whitney

## Bio

**Gaylord Whitney** is an American Confederate soldier from the American Civil War played by Merwyn Cruddy in "Home Is The Hero." Featured on The Movie-Shakers, the film depicts Gaylord returning home to the South seven years after the war. His memories of home aren't exact. While reminiscing on the old plantation, his old black retainer, Rufus (Bob Todd), comes up behind him, and he thinks he's Miss Abigail, his true love. When Miss Abigail (Jenny Lee Wright) shows up, he thinks she's his father.
Miss Abigail reveals that she thought Gaylord had been killed at Fort Dix, and she has promised to marry a Yankee named John Abraham Louis Montmorency Leroy Whitney Lincoln III (Henry McGee). Haunted by the war, Gaylord starts describing the battlefield and the number of soldiers lost there, proclaiming "They wouldn't get up!"

## Trivia

* Gaylord was played by Benny Hill.
* Bob Todd also played a black servant in The Long Dry Summer.
* Benny and Bob can be seen giggling amongst themselves in the sketch.
* The stuck gate gag has been done several times before in the series, notably in the Home for the Summer sketch which shares the same plot.
* "N.B.G." is a British euphemism for "no bloody good," and a possible play on the American television network NBC (National Broadcasting Company). It would be reused again in Hollywood Greats: Chubby Dodds in Women's Lib TV episode and in the 1994 sketch from Name That Tune.

## Gallery

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Girls of the Souza Bar

## Bio

**Girls of the Souza Bar** is a song written and performed by Benny Hill on February 4, 1970. Sang on stage, he is joined by The Ladybirds as his background singers. The song shares the same line "to be let alone" line with Pepy's Diary.

## Lyrics

Now, it was just ten years ago, when I was just seventeen...

I came to the city searching for a dream.

Why I wandered down into Soho.

They said it was always done...

At three o'clock in the morning in search of innocent fun.

But I wish I heeded the warning I got from my Ma and Pa.

Cause they said, "Son, keep away from the Girls at the Souza Bar!"

"Now the ladies inside, they play all kinds of games,"

Said the girl at the door with pride.

I thought she meant games like tiddly-winks,

So I ventured inside.

She said, "Some of them are naughty girls!"

And, Oh, that started me thinking

I might catch one of them having a tiddle...

When she ought to be winking.

But I wish I heeded the warning I got from my Ma and Pa.

They said, "Son, keep away from the Girls at the Souza Bar!"

Now, Suzie she came and sat next to me,

Her complexion was just like a rose.

But I couldn't help noticing a little mark across the bridge of her nose.

She said, "That mark that you're staring at was caused through glasses, my dear!"

I said, "Why don't you use contact lenses?"

She said, "They don't hold enough beer!!"

Oh, I wish I heeded the warning I got from my Ma and Pa.

They said, "Son, keep away from the Girls at the Souza Bar!"

Suzie took me upstairs to her room, and she handed me the key.

She said, "This room's to be let as it stands with all that you can see."

"And are you to be let with the room?" said I in a most ambiguous tone.

She said, "I am not to be let with the room; I am to be let alone!"

Oh, I wish I heeded the warning I got from my Ma and Pa,

They said, "Son, keep away from the Girls at the Souza Bar!"

But that was so many years ago,

Now, Suzie is my wife...

And I've often said that the day that we wed was the happiest day of my life.

Well, I gave the preacher a five pound note,

He looked at me kinda strange.

And then he saw my Suzie and he gave me four pounds ten in change!

But I'm glad I ignored the warning I got from my Ma and Pa

Cause now I live a life of ease...

I ride in a big fast car...

I smoke a big cigar...

I live just like a Tsar...

On champagne and caviar...

And those beautiful wonderful Girls of the Souza Bar...
Peter Vernon

**Peter Vernon** was an English actor best known for the movies "Slash," "Terror at London Bridge" and "Naughty Wives." Born Peter Vernon Thomas on November 8, 1921 in London, England, he shortened his name as an actor, appearing on television for the first time in the BBC incarnation of "The Benny Hill Show" and in its short-lived anthology series. Not much is known about his later career. He later retired in the United States in Glendale, Arizona. He passed away in 2017 at the age of 94 in nearby Prescott, Arizona.

## Episode(s)

* February 1, 1958
* March 1, 1958
* March 29, 1958
* April 26, 1958
* February 4, 1961
* Soap Box Jury
* The Mystery of Black Bog Manor
* Mervyn's Christmas Pudding
Name That Tune

## Production

**Episode:** 39

**Date:** April 16, 1980

**Time:** 51:33

**Musical Director:** Ronnie Aldrich

**Vocals:** The Ladybirds

**Choreography:** Linda Finch

**Producer:** Dennis Kirkland

**Director:** Dennis Kirkland

**Writer:** Benny Hill

## Episode

* Song: Love
* Fred Scuttle: Happy Holidays
* Benny's International Television
	+ TV Romania: The Rose
	+ 1994: The Machines Rise Up
* Women's Lib Television
	+ Name That Tune
* Hill's Angels
	+ New York, New York
	+ Discotheque
* Quickies - 4
* Tag: The Three Musketeers

## Highlights

* 1994: The Machines Rise Up
* Name That Tune
* Hill's Angels: New York, New York

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Henry McGee
* Bob Todd
* Jack Wright
* Louise English
* Helen Horton
* Pat Ashton
* Sue Upton
* Roger Finch
* Ken Sedd
* Cyril Cross
* Anne Easton - Hill's Angel
* Nola Haynes - Hill's Angel
* Sharon Haywoode - Hill's Angel
* Leigh Miles - Hill's Angel
* Clare Smalley - Hill's Angel
* Samantha Spencer Lane - Hill's Angel
* Susan Daly - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Ted Taylor (uncredited)

## Trivia

* Scenes from this show appear in the "One Night Video Stand" VHS.
* "The Three Musketeers" sketch is based on the French novel, "The French Musketeers" by writer Louis Du Maurier which has been turned into several plays and films.

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** Butch Cafferty and the Fundance Kid
* **Next Episode:** WonderGran Meets Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde
Happy Together

## Bio

**Happy Together** is a 1967 hit song written by Garry Bonner and Alan Gordon, arranged by Chip Douglas and produced by Joe Wissert. It was a big hit for The Turtles in the 60s. It was recreated as a duet by Jon Jon Keefe and Lee Gibson on March 23, 1973.

## Lyrics

Imagine me and you, I do...

I think about you day and night, it's only right

To think about the girl you love and hold her tight

So happy together...

If I should call you up, invest a dime

And you say you belong to me and ease my mind

Imagine how the world could be... so very fine

So happy together...

I can't see me loving nobody but you for all my life

When you're with me, baby, the skies will be blue

For all my life...

Me and you, and you and me

No matter how we toss the dice, it had to be...

The only one for me is you, and you for me

So happy together

So happy together

So happy together

I can't see me loving nobody but you for all my life

When you're with me, baby, the skies will be blue

For all my life...

Me and you, and you and me...

No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be...

The only one for me is you, and you for me.

So happy together...

So happy together

So happy together

So happy together

Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba

Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba
Showtime

## Production

**Episode:** 30

**Date:** November 20, 1968

**Time:** 45 minutes

**Musical Director:** Burt Rhodes

**Producer:** Kenneth Carter

**Director:**

**Writer:** Benny Hill

## Episode

* Guests include:
	+ The Rita Williams Dancers
	+ The Kaye Singers

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* June Whitfield
* Henry McGee
* Donna Reading
* Jim Tyson
* Verne Morgan (as Jenne Morgan)
* Ronald Rich (as Rik Rich)
* Beverly Wright
* Jack Wright (as John Wright)

## Trivia

* This episode features the first collaboration between Benny Hill, Henry McGee and Jackie Wright.
* Benny impersonated English personality Cliff Michelmore once again, having done so many times during his run with the BBC.
* This episode featured a "24 Hours" parody.
* The "24 Hours" parody is included in the Benny and the Jets VHS and DVD.

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** Knickers World
* **Next Episode:** December 11, 1968
Rita Fripp

## Bio

**Rita Fripp** is the most loyal ITV Network viewer, having not missed a program since its inception in 1955. She is interviewed by Henry McGee who is surprised by her glazed over look at first. She loves all the TV shows, especially the educational, adventure and drama shows, but she's not a fan of the commercials, having over-analyzed the plots. Without naming any shows, she describes the plots of her favorite shows with excessive emotional devotion to the characters, going on to confess she doesn't like the characters keeping secrets from her. She also likes "that little chubby comedian." McGee soon gets involved singing a commercial ditty with her, but he cuts the interview short as her show is starting.

## Trivia

* Rita Fripp was played by {[Benny Hill]].

## Episode(s)

* The European Song Contest
* Woodstick

## Gallery

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Julie Rogers

**Julie Rogers** is an English singer and entertainer, best known for her multi-million selling song, "The Wedding".

Born Julie Rolls on April 6, 1943 in Bermondsey, England, she is the youngest of five children. She grew up with piano lessons and attended Kingsbury County Grammar School, but not Kingsbury High School, which did not exist until 1967 when she was 24. She later worked as a dancer in Spain, a secretary in Britain and a stewardess on a Union-Castle Line ship before singing with the Teddy Foster Orchestra, with whom she toured the United Kingdom and America. She received a recording contract with Philips Records in 1964 and released her debut single, "It's Magic," originally a hit for Doris Day in 1948.

Rogers also had a hit with "The Wedding" in the United Kingdom and Australia, after becoming successful for Anita Bryant and Malcolm Vaughan in 1961, but Rogers' version outsold them both, selling over seven million copies by 1972. She had other hits with "Like A Child" and "Hawaiian Wedding Song," both in 1965. Through her career, she performed on "The Roy Orbison Show," "Val Parnell's Sunday Night at the London Palladium," "Top of the Pops," "The Jimmy Dean Show," The Benny Hill Show on the BBC, "The Ken Dodd Show," "Juke Box Jury" and "Thank Your Lucky Stars" among other musical shows.

In 1968, she married Teddy Foster, and they remained a couple until Foster's death in 1984 from renal failure. In 1987, she married show business agent, Michael Black, the brother of lyricist Don Black, who has since acted as her manager.

In 1992, she recorded a demo of "You Only Live Twice," which appeared on the 1992 limited edition version of the album, "The Best of Bond...James Bond." The song's composers, John Barry and Leslie Bricusse, later wrote a completely different version of the song which was recorded by Nancy Sinatra for the movie.

Rogers has been consistently touring since the 1960s. Her most recent release was the 2003 album, "Sing Another Song."

## Episode(s)

* November 6, 1964
* Opportunity Calls
* Police: Friend or Foe?
Leanne Robinson

**Leanne Robinson** is an English actress probably best known for "The Benny Hill Show" and the 1983 mini-series, "Number 10."

Not much is known about her life and career. The daughter of the late British comic actor Cardew Robinson, she starred in the My Darling, Lulu Belle musical number on December 17, 1975 and as the girlfriend of the Sheriff of Nottingham on March 24, 1976. Robinson had also been a member of the Grand Order of Lady Ratlings, the long-standing charitable and social organization for women in British show business, along with Claire Lutter and Bella Emberg. According to their website, she passed away in 1997.

## Episode(s)

* Jack and Jill
* Murder on the Oregon Express
* Carmen

## Gallery

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New England

## Bio=

**New England** was a British Colony in 1620 and lasting until 1776 when it became part of the American Colonies; it is now known as the state of Massachusetts in the United States of America.

In 1635, a colonist named Eli Todd (Bob Todd) was placed in the stocks for having immoral and wicked thoughts. One of the other colonists, Benny Pureheart (Benny Hill), eventually joined him to strike up a conversation and tried cajoling him to reveal what he had thought. After Eli complied, they were joined by Mistress Mary (Andree Melly) whose completely random conversation about getting a goose, the work in the area and the local savages incites sinful thoughts in Benny he blames on Eli for starting, knocking him around for causing them. When Mary gets up to leave, Benny has his foot on her skirts which pulls her clothing off down to her undergarments. Benny and the other colonists now start beating Eli and calling him a "lecher."

## Gallery

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The Dreamer

## Bio

**The Dreamer** is an unidentified hitch-hiker traveling across country solo across the country (possibly England). He eventually comes across a lone shanty with a bench on a country road and pitches his sleeping bag in it for the night. As he sleeps, he dreams about waking and going his way, meeting a beautiful brunette in a dark hood and bikini (Lesley Goldie) just down the lane and going around a huge tree to kiss her. When he wakes up the next morning, he heads along his way, passing the familiar tree from his dream sheltering a woman in a dark hood. As he gets closer, the person throws off the hood to reveal she's an old lady (Connie Georges), and she starts chasing him. Down the lane, they pass the beautiful brunette in the bikini.

## Trivia

* The Dreamer was played by Benny Hill. He also played a hitch-hiker in March 11, 1970.
* This sketch was linked to Benny's parody of Top of the Tops; in that sketch, Benny calls it "music from Ronnie Aldrich," who was the musical director on the show.

## Gallery

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Judy Gridley

**Judy Gridley** is an English actress and dancer best known for roles in "Punchlines," Coronation Street" and "Rude Health" in the 70s and 80s.

She was born in May 1946 in Scarborough, England. Not much of her life and career is known. Her earliest known credit was in the 1971 Frank Zappa film "200 Motels," followed by the movies "Up the Front" and the TV-movie "The Moon Shines Bright on Charlie Chaplin." She also starred as Bob Todd's dancing partner in The Great British Dancing Finals sketch on December 27, 1973. Through the 70s, she appeared in several episodes of "Play Away" with dances she had choreographed herself. She also contributed some stunning dancing to "Hit The Note" shortly after her role in the West End production of "Chorus Line" when she played the bandy-legged character.

Performing often in Italy, she had other TV roles and TV appearances in "Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em," "Rosie," "Punchlines!" "The Kelly Monteith Show" and "Luna," eventually getting a role on "Coronation Street" from 1984 to 1985. She also appeared in the movies "The Wildcats of St. Trinian's," "Moonlighting," "An Englishman Abroad," "Witch Hunt" and "A Month in the Country."

Sadly, she passed away after a long illness on October 1987 in London, England, survived by her husband, Howard Tibble.
Susie Waring

**Susie Waring** is an English actress who starred as one of the Hill's Angels in the 1989 season of "The Benny Hill Show." She appears in the "Sport" number on February 8, 1989 and the "Seven Foolish Virgins" on April 5, 1989. She might be one of the dancers in the The Ballad of Bronco Benny on August 27, 1988, but this has yet to be confirmed.

## Episode(s)

* Club Chicago-Go (unconfirmed)
* The Crook Report (uncredited)
* Holding Out for a Hero (uncredited)
* Pepy's Diary (uncredited)
* Benny Hill's World Tour: New York (uncredited) as a Hill's Angels

## Gallery

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Legends

## Production

**Episode:** 5

**Date:** March 18, 1971

**Producer:** Peter Whitmore

**Director:**

**Writer:** Dave Allen, Austin Steele and Peter Vincent

## Cast

* Dave Allen
* Ronnie Brody
* Jacqueline Clarke
* Ian Burford
* Michael Sharvell-Martin
* Chris Serle

## Quotes

* **Dave Allen** - "If you go to heaven, they'll give you wings and a harp which for me is hell because I can't stand heights or harp music."

* **Dave Allen** - "The good book says "as you sow, so shall you weed" and as you gather, I've a garden full of weeds."

* **Dave Allen** - (*chuckling under breath*) "There's something keen about explosions."

* **Dave Allen** - "Security to a dog is a good master. Security to a good master is a good mistress. Security to a mistress is a bank president in the cupboard."

* **Dave Allen** - "Security to an airline pilot is the second pilot. Security to the second pilot is the navigator, and security to a good navigator is being the only one with a parachute."

## Trivia

* **Blooper** - In the cowboy sketch where Peter Hawkins plays a sheriff, the word "sheriff" is misspelled S-H-E-R-R-I-F on the courthouse behind him.

* The stock footage of the house explosion seen in the second human cannonball sketch will be used a few times in the series. It was first seen in a house-hunting sketch in Episode 3.

* Dave admits in this episode to James the Butler being one of his favorite characters.

* Robin Hood is a semi-historical figure (1160-1247) whose exploits were the basis of several tales beginning with "A Lytell Geste of Robyn Hode" in 1510 and reaching to modern literature and motion pictures. It's believed the original story was based on the tale of Robert Fitztooth, 12th Century Earl of Huntingdon who had escaped his debts by retiring into a solitary existence in the woods. Some scholars believe there was not just one Robin Hood, but several whose stories merged to one.

* Sherlock Holmes was the literary creation of writer and novelist Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, beginning with the book, "A Study In Scarlet" (1887). Some literary experts believe the character was modeled after Dr. Joseph Bell, Doyle's professor at Edinburgh University.

* One of Dave's favorite recurring characters is Tarzan from the Edgar Rice Burroughs novel, "Tarzan the Ape-Man".

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** Seeing Is Believing
* **Next Episode:** The Unexpected
The Nursery Rhyme Song

## Bio

**The Nursery Rhyme Song** is a Vaudeville-style ditty sung by performers Luke and Tinker (Benny Hill and Jackie Wright) on a simple set with a painted blue sky. Luke wears a loose coat that hides his right hand which has Tinker searching for it. They identify themselves in the song.

## Lyrics

(Note: The accuracy of these lyrics has yet to be confirmed.)

Good evening, everybody,

How do-you-do-you-do?

We would like to introduce ourselves to you.

People call me Luke because I'm not so hot…

And people call me Tinker because I drink a lot

If you're interested, if you have the time…

we would like to sing you a little nursery rhymes

like Jack and Jill went up the hill

or hickory dickory dock

And Mary had a little lamb,

But the doctor died of shock

Baa baa black sheep have you any wool

what the heck you that is on my back, you silly fool

We’ll turn the black wool into garters for the women of whom we’re fond.

And then those in memory of those who have passed beyond.

Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

It grows very well because I got a brand new hoe.

I put manure in my rhubarb, and manure on my flowers.

You put manure on your rhubarb?

We have cream on ours.

Hi-diddle-diddle, the cat and the fiddle,..

So everybody thinks….

I wonder if it knows part of his brother was part of the strings,

And then the cow jumped over the moon.

At least that’s the part we have been told.

I guess it was because…

The Farmer's hands were cold.

So, was he broken-hearted cause he felt her teeth, so dear.

I guess he never had the thoughtfulness to say, “I love you. Dear.”

Mary had a wristwatch.

She swallowed it one day.

And now she eats some pills….

To pass the time away.

So, now you're on your own…

To go off and tell the truth.

What goes, “Tiddle-Tiddle?”

A piddler on the roof.

Now, the time has come for us to go, I fear….

So, now we’re into Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Stephanie Lawrence

**Stephanie Lawrence** was a English actress best known for her work in the British theater. She was born December 12, 1949 in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, England, the daughter of singer George Kent and dancer Gladys Kent. She was raised Hayling Island where she was close friends with wind-surfer Peter Chilver. She trained in theater at the Arts Educational School in Tring (now Tring Park School for the Performing Arts) and made her debut in The Nutcracker at the Royal Festival Hall in London in 1962. At the age of 12, she became a member of the corps de ballet at the Royal Festival Ballet at the age of 12 with plans of becoming a ballerina, but her plans were delayed after a bout of pneumonia.

At 16, she made her debut playing the part of a rollerskating tap dancer in "Forget-Me-Not Lane" later appearing in the musical, "Bubbling Brown Sugar." She was briefly a member of the dance troupe, Pan's People, which appeared on "Top of the Pops" between 1977 and 1980. This led to other TV appearances, such as a role in the opening "Shelaylee Brothers" segment of the December 26, 1978 episode of "The Benny Hill Show" opening, another roles in "The Vocal Touch," which was a showcase for her talents as a singer and actress, as well as "Night Music," "Six Fifty-Five," "Des O'Connor Tonight," Pete Sayers' "Electric Music Show," "The Two Ronnies," "Wogan," "It's Max Boyce," "Pebble Mill at One" and "The Les Dawson Show." In 1979, she recorded a duet with Johnny Mathis called "You Saved My Life."

She was cast as Eva Peron in the musical "Evita" in 1980, a role she left in 1981 to create the title role of Marilyn Monroe in "Marilyn! the Musical," which won her outstanding reviews and the Best Actress of the Year Award from the Variety Club of Great Britain as well as a nomination from the Society of West End Theater Awards (now the Laurence Olivier Awards). Becoming one of the leading female musical theater performers in London, she had the role of Pearl in the original London production of "Starlight Express" and appeared in a musical version of "The Blue Angel" at the Bristol Old Vic. In 1986, she had a dramatic role in "The Owl and the Pussycat" with Peter Davison, following up with a role in the film "Buster" with Phil Collins, Julie Walters and Larry Lamb. Her other film credits include "The Likely Lads" and the 1989 film version of "The Phantom of the Opera."

In 1987, Stephanie created the part of Louise in the musical, "Time," later taking a role in "Kiss Me Kate" at the Savoy Theater. Over Christmas of 1988 into early 1989, she played Cinderella, opposite Lionel Blair and toured with the musical, "Blues in the Night" in 1990, following with a three-year in the revival of Willy Russell's "Blood Brothers." She was nominated for a Tony Award and won the Theater World Award for Outstanding Broadway Debut.

Her last role in the West End was in "Cats" in 1998, but she was forced to leave the show after a fall down a staircase, receiving critical injuries. She married her long-time companion, Laurie Sautereau, in 2000 and passed away November 4, 2000 from liver disease, found by Sautereau at their London home.

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The Widow

## Bio

The **Widow** is a beautiful and wealthy brunette heiress named Maria who lives alone in a huge estate in or near London. Her only company is an elderly manservant named Gaston (Jackie Wright) and her pet greyhound. On walks around her estate, she gets the attention of an old German colonel (Benny Hill) and a starving organ player (Jackie Wright).
Maria has two suitors in town identified as Benito the Butcher (Benny Hill) and Henri the Tailor (Henry McGee), who are both competing for her hand in marriage. When they arrive at her mansion to court her, they both covertly destroy each others gifts. Once inside, Benito slams a door on Henri trying to enter a room and hands him a vase full of water as he tries to analyze it, splashing himself with water. At dinner as Benito is enjoying pudding, Henri tugs at the table covering so that Benito gets a spoonful of mustard. That evening, Benito fakes a heart attack while departing so Maria will have to take care of him, but it is *Henri* coming to his rescue.

Over the next few days, Benito tries serenading Maria, getting hit by a window pane and doused by water for his efforts. During Henri's visits, Maria gets tired and bored by his long rambling talks, but she perks up as Benito comes singing to her again, only to be attacked unseen by her dog. When Henri tries to gain her favor with violin music, Benito reveals the hidden violinist (Ken Sedd) in the bushes.

Realizing they can't keep ruining each other's chances, Benito and Henri decide to duel it out with a mediator (Charles Stapely), but the mediator as it turns out is the one getting most of the abuse. Finally, they decide to trick Maria into making a decision by pretending to kill each other; the one she rushes to is the winner. When she finds them both seemingly dead, she rushes to her choice... Her manservant, Gaston.

## Trivia

* The Widow is played by Dee Dee Darlington.
* The Hand through the German helmet gag is repeated in Gavin Blod.
* The actress playing the maid in the window is unidentified.
* The mansion and exteriors in this sketch is the Foxhills Mansion in Surrey, England. It has been used in numerous sketches through the 1970s episodes, including Bionic Boy, Grand Wheelchair Rally, the beach scenes of the Body Building tag from June 26, 1977 and the grounds visited by Digger Blue on May 30, 1978.

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Pan's People

**Pan's People** was a British TV dance troupe that starred on the BBC-TV music chart show, "Top of the Pops," a Seventies counterpart to the American TV series, "American Bandstand." When the original bands were unavailable to perform their own songs, Pan's People usually appeared to dance to the songs.

Formed as a sextet in December 1966, Pan's People were formed as a replacement to "The Go-Jos," who had appeared in the show's first four years. They officially joined the show in May 1968.
Beginning from their first appearance, the group comprised members Louise Clarke, Felicity "Flick" Colby, Barbara "Babs" Lord, Ruth Pearson, Andrea "Andi" Rutherford, Patricia "Dee Dee" Wilde, but Colby gradually stood down from dancing towards the end of 1971 to concentrate full-time on choreographing the group's routines. Rutherford also left to go on maternity leave, and was replaced by Cherry Gillespie in December 1972. Clarke also left Pan's People to start a family in 1974, replaced by Sue Menhenick in an open audition. In 1975, Lord and Wilde also departed, replaced by Mary Corpe from "The Young Generation" and Lee Ward. In April 1976, the line-up featured Mary Corpe, Cherry Gillespie, Sue Menhenick, Lee Ward and Ruth Pearson, the only remaining original member.

In addition to "Top of the Pops," Pan's People also appeared on the TV shows "Bobbie Gentry," "Lulu," "The Price of Fame," "The John Denver Show," "The Two Ronnies" and with Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise on their 1975 Christmas Day TV Show, one of the most popular TV shows in the UK. They also appeared in their own edition of the "In Concert" series for BBC television in 1974. In 1975, they were spoofed on "The Benny Hill Show" by Benny Hill, Henry McGee, Bob Todd, Jackie Wright and Earl Adair in the sketch "Pam's People."

Dancer and TV hostess Lesley Judd became a temporary member of the group shortly before "Pan's People" made their last appearance on "Top of the Pops" in April 1976, replaced by the male and female quartet, "Ruby Flipper," who only lasted about six months until bowing to public pressure. Meanwhile, Dee Dee Wilde realized the name was still marketable and kept "Pan's People" alive as she continued to dance with and manage a new group of girls including Louise English, Abigail Higgins, Pauline Crawford, Francesca Whitburn, Sarah Woollett and Stephanie Lawrence. English and Lawrence, however, stayed on "The Benny Hill Show" after their April 25, 1979 appearance to join the Hill's Angels, later joined by more members of Pan's People. Two members for a short time, Sarah Brightman and Carol Fletcher, during this period joined the "Hot Gossip" dancers.
The New Vicar

## Bio

**The New Vicar** was a monologue performed by Benny Hill on December 17, 1975. It is remarkably similar to Birds and Bees from March 11, 1970 with the same impish character in front of a pastoral backdrop.

## Lyrics

(*Note: The accuracy of these lyrics are a bit in doubt.*)

That new vicar up St Paul has done talked a lot of rubbish.
He calls his skinny wife my lovely Helen.

She parades around in fancy clothes like she's got a nasty smell underneath her nose,

And half the time, he looks like what she's smelling.

He visits squire last Saturday, he says, "I'm starting a charity for the less fortunate brethren of our town.

"People who've had it cushy like you have got a duty to do so I hope you idle rich won't let me down."

He said, "Hang on a minute, chum!" He says, "My old dad and mum had to bring me up in a shack ten miles from Reading."

Says, "The day I was born I had calluses on my hands from trying to hang on till after the wedding.

He says, "We never had no fancy clothes,

Or smelling like a rose fawned on by some high-class nurse or nanny.

My dad worked down the pit, and he came home covered in soot and grit.

Till I was 12, I thought he was a Pakistani.

He'd come home at half past eight and he got a bath in front of the grate in the kitchen with his clothes on all over the place...

He'd stand there naked as can be,

And my mum would start crying 'cause she could see ruination staring her in the face.

I remember my mum one day saying Auntie Jean's just passed away.

So she won't be staying for the weekend after all.

So son, you'd better pop down to the corner shop and ask if they'll take back the toilet roll.

Then just a week ago, my half-sister Flo at the same time got lockjaw and whooping cough.

We got her Uncle <?> to rub her back with alcohol,

And she broke her neck trying to suck it off.

Here's my poor cousin Hugh trying to make a buck or two.

Scraping the barnacles off the bottoms of boats and barges.

And Arnie Moore and she's an old maid, got some seeing cords? on a hearing aid.

Some of the dirty swines reversed the charges!

There's my young nephew Ron and he's trying to get on.

I caught him with his boss's wife when they was kissing.

To me that little twit was like a snake hissing in a pit.

And I knew him when he didn't have a pit to hiss in.

There's my poor Cousin Harry's wife has started leading an immoral life.

The first night out was something really sordid.

She came home with a hundred quid and fifty P.

And Harry says quite naturally, "Well, who gave you the fifty P?"

She says, "They all did."

And my poor Auntie Vy still has to economize.

Right from the time she wakes up and switches her alarm off.

Three quid she had to pay for a giant deodorant spray.

One squirt it blew her bloody arm off!

And they all expects money from me.

Vicar says, "Ah, now I see. You support your relatives.

"What a generous thing to do."

He says, "That ain't the point, my friend."

He said, "I don't give nothing for them..."

"So I sure as hell ain't giving nothing to you!"
Roger Rogers

## Bio

**Roger Rogers** is a character in the movie, Passengers Of Love, played by Ray Hilland (Benny Hill). He is a passenger on an unidentified cruise line. Charming and winsome, he wins over the majority of the First Class passengers and a female passenger (Jenny Lee Wright) until it's discovered he's only a Second Class passenger. The captain (Bob Todd) soon discovers he's actually the owner of the ship and all is forgiven in time for Roger to catch the Phantom Prowler (Nicholas Parsons) harassing the female guests.

## Trivia

* Rogers was played by Benny Hill.
* This sketch was identified as "Passengers of Love," a parody of badly dubbed and overly-edited movies from the 40s.
* This sketch was partially remade as "Love Ship" in the R. Dibble: Handyman episode.
* The "Roger Rogers" name may well have been a reference to French film composer and bandleader Roger Roger (1911-1995), who composed countless stock music for the Chappell Recorded Music library which was used in countless films and TV shows (but ironically, none of his works were used in this sketch).
* The sketch was a remake of a sketch from one of his BBC shows, "Passengers of Passion," which aired on his November 27, 1965 special.
Ted Tingley

## Bio

**Ted Tingley** (AKA "The Reluctant Bridegroom") is a British groom (and potential gold-digger) who purposes to an unattractive heiress (Rita Webb) in order to get the money of her father (Jackie Wright). During the wedding, he starts having second thoughts about his scam, especially after realizing that he will have to go to bed with her on his wedding night. His reservations are briefly set aside after hearing her father coughing, but her appearance (which he compares to "an unmade bed") greatly distresses him. When the priest (Henry McGee) asks him to take his vow, he quickly bolts from the church, dives into his classic car and speeds away, briefly taking time for a beautiful sun bather (Sue Upton) down the road until he sees the giant boots sticking out from under her car.

Ted eventually has to stop at a gas station run by a mechanic (Ken Sedd) where he tries to hit on the female attendant (Jenny Westbrook), but she doesn't have time for him. Distracted by two hitch-hikers (Jenny Lee Wright and Sue Upton?), he drives after them dragging the fuel pump still connected to his car!

Somewhere down the line, his car overheats and he goes looking for water. He ends up at the house of Elsie (Jenny Lee-Wright), who claims she is wearing black on behalf of her dear departed husband. When Ted enquires a bit further, he learns he merely "departed" for work and she lures Ted inside for drinks. After flirting a bit with each other, Ted learns she married Bill Bailey the wrestler (Eddie Buchanan), but he's so much into his career, he doesn't care if she fools around on him. Elsie soon offers herself to Ted, but as he screams out in glee, he finds himself back at the church getting married. Dejectedly departing, he passes Elsie on the way out.

## Trivia

* Ted Tingley was played by Benny Hill
* This sketch seems to be a re-working of "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" by Ambrose Bierce about a Civil War soldier who hallucinates his escape from his hanging.
* The wedding guests include Claire Lutter, Libby Roberts, Jane Eve, Teresa Lucas, Lorraine Doyle and Terry Dane who also appeared in "The Flash" in the same episode.
* The name of the church as Ted escapes is St. Peter's Church.
* Ted briefly calls Elsie by the name "Sonny Cronitt."
* Ted also appears (unnamed) randomly in other sketches in the series, such as a bartender in the "Runaway" number in WonderGran Meets Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde, as a runner in Cross\_Country Race and as a sidewalk womanizer in the She-Hulk sketch in A Tribute to the Lower Tidmarsh Volunteer Fire Brigade.
* According to the "Benny's Place" site, the "dearly departed" gag was remade from a "Unexpected Look" quickie on the Opportunity's Knocking episode.
* This sketch also features a reworking of the "'Night, George" quickie on the Undercover Sanitary Inspector episode.

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Passengers Of Love

## Bio

**Passengers of Love** is an ocean-board romantic comedy appearing on Cinema: The Vintage Years, a late night movie program featuring forgotten films, possibly from before the 1960s. It stars Ray Hilland (Benny Hill) and Loretta Bung (Jenny Lee-Wright) as Roger Rogers and Jenny, two passengers who meet each other. However, the film is marred by film damage, speed problems and sound errors among other snafus.

In the film, Jenny meets up with Roger and becomes charmed by him. Meanwhile, an unidentified figure known as the Phantom Prowler has been walking into rooms and annoying the female passengers uncaught. In the ship's lounge, Roger charms Jenny, the other passengers and crew by singing "Tiptoe Through The Tulips" together, but one haughty male passenger (Nicholas Parsons) gets Roger tossed from the lounge when it's revealed he's only a second class passenger. To join him, Jenny changes her ticket for a second class ticket, but she soon learns he's the ships's owner. When the male passenger follows her, he gets recognized as the prowler, and Roger beats him up to defend the honor of the ladies, turning him over to the captain. Jenny and Roger soon start making plans to get married.

## Trivia

* Ray Hilland and Loretta Bung are parodies of classic film stars Ray Milland and Loretta Young.
* Jackie Wright plays the ship's bartender, and Bob Todd plays the captain. Lesley Goldie plays an extra female passenger, but the redhead Parsons walks in on is unidentified.
* This sketch was partially remade as "Love Ship" in the R. Dibble: Handyman episode.

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Spencer Shires

**Spencer John Shires** is an English actor, singer and musician, possibly best known for his appearances in the TV musical group, "Young Generations." He was also a member of the singing group, Reflections, who appeared often on "The Mike Yarwood Show."

According to the IMDB, Shires was born on July 13, 1954 in Lambeth, London, England, but not much else is known about his life and career. His real name may be Spencer Shiroba. His first known appearance was the 1967 British film, "The Sky Bike," later becoming a member of the "Young Generation" BBC music group in 1973 which at separate times included "Benny Hill" alumni as Roger Finch, Walter Cartier and Kay Frazer. He also appeared on the TV series "Thirty-Minute Theatre" before appearing as himself in "Rock on with 45" in 1975.

Shires later formed the pop group Reflections with Linda Robertson, Dee Eldridge and Donny Hill around 1976, appearing regularly on "The Mike Yarwood Show," The group also appeared on the June 26, 1977 episode of the "The Benny Hill Show," performing background vocals in the Bianca Malone opening and as a sketch character in The Sum Awards. After Reflections broke up, he returned in the March 23, 1977 episode in a few bit parts in the Girls Girls Girls Nightclub sketch and as a member of the The Milk Market Board Choir.

As Spencer Shiroba, he did vocals, guitar and keyboard for the pop music group Shooter in 1978, later appearing on "The Goodies" TV show in 1980. In 1981, He helped produce "If Looks Could Kill" and "Don't You Look F-A-B" for the Incredible Kidda Band. Beyond that, he dropped into obscurity until 2001 when he helped produce "Lady of the Afternoon" for the group, Radio Shanghai, for Loft Records. His current activities are unrevealed.

## Episode(s)

* The Bionic Baby
* A Packed Program
March 29, 1958

## Production

**Episode:** 12

**Date:** March 29, 1958

**Time:** 45 minutes

**Musical Director:** Eric Robinson

**Producer:** John Street

**Director:**

**Writer:** Benny Hill and Dave Freeman

## Episode

* Guests include:
	+ Edna Savage
	+ The Two Rovitas
	+ The George Mitchell Singers

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Dave Freeman
* Peter Vernon

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** March 1, 1958
* **Next Episode:** April 26, 1958