recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Heathcliff

Mr Heathcliff is the chief investor for Walkers Industries. Heathcliff is affiliated with the Scarpa Crime Family having served them as an enforcer back in the 1980's.

"It's hair tonic if you must know."-Heathcliff whenever someone asks him what he's drinking.

## Heathcliff

### Affiliation

Scarpa FamilyWalkers International

Henry Tomasino

Eddie Scarpa

Mel Brooks deceased

## Background

Heathcliff was born in Nottingham, and attended private schools growing up. When he was an adult, Heathcliff moved around a lot during the 1970's. He resided in Empire Bay for a few years in the 1980's. While in Empire Bay, Heathcliff found work as an enforcer for the Scarpa Family. Due to his British heritage, Heathcliff was unable to become a Made Man but still served as one of the family's most trusted enforcers. In 1991, Heathcliff returned home to Nottingham where he won the lottery. He used his winnings to buy into Walkers Enterprises, and effectively became Henry Tomasino's boss. Though everyone at the company hated Heathcliff, Tomasino didn't and was always trying his best to gain favour with Heathcliff which rarely works out for him. At some point, Heathcliff began drinking spoiled milk, and quickly developed an addiction to it. Whenever people questioned him about it, Heathcliff would lie and say it was hair tonic that he was drinking.

## Trivia

* Heathcliff is described as being a horrid man with an even horrider temper. He is also described as being massive skulled and incredibly strong able to handle himself in a fight.
* Heathcliff moved around a lot during the 70's; he spent long periods of time in Alaska, Lost Heaven, Oakton City, New Bordeaux, Russia, Colombia, India, and even Vietnam. He also spent a year in Chicago where he met Gus Polinski poker king of the Midwest.
* Heathcliff is one of several characters to not have their first name revealed.
Gwyn Claude

Gwyn Claude was the Baron of Oakton City, and the father of the Claude brothers and their sister Joan. Gwyn controls his own private army known by the townsfolk as the secret police.

"Yum!"-Gwyn Claude after putting butter on a sandwich.

## Gwyn Claude

### Aliases

The Fat Baron Of Oakton CityThe Fat Fuck

Mr Claude

### Relatives

Unnamed Wife deceasedJehan Claude (Son)

John Claude (Son)

Steve Claude (Son) deceased

Handsomodo (Son)

Joan Claude (Daughter)

## Overview

The Baron of Oakton City, Gwyn Claude controls his own private army which specialises in extortion and intimidation. Gwyn is incredibly corrupt as he often increases the amount of tax payers money he extorts from the townsfolk. His son John Claude serves as the captain of the army, because as a child he had been the Baron's favourite son. John Claude was known to make terrible rules for the people of Oakton City such as not being able to sing after dark and making dancing in the street illegal in order to keep up with the current sociological mandates. The Baron did nothing to stop him for he had grown very fat and greedy. He also highly approved of John Claude locking away Gwyn's youngest son Handsomodo into the bellower for they both believed that he was far too handsome.

## Trivia

* According to Pierre Gringoire, Gwyn used to be a stone cold killer back in the 1970's. He used to work as a hitman for the Scarlet Alliance a criminal enterprise allegedly based in Lost Heaven.
* He dyes his hair brown due to his fear of looking old.
* Over the years, Gwyn's sadistic side mellowed as he became increasingly overweight in order to deal with his wife getting killed in a car bomb intended for himself. It is believed she was killed due to his involvement with the Alliance.
* He is known as the Fat Baron Of Oakton City by the residents of Oakton City.
* He owns a mansion on Burbank Avenue in Oakton City, and also his own private yacht.
* Faustin Family debt collector Steve Claude uses his father's status as Baron to his advantage in order to scare people to paying up their debt so he doesn't get Gwyn to send the army after them.
* He doesn't like riding cars, and prefers riding on horses like something out of the old west something which infuriates John Claude.
Mickey Hamfists

Mickey Hamfists was a high-ranking member of The Maranzalla Crime Syndicate serving as capo Tony Ciparini's right-hand man and trusted lieutenant. He later sold out and framed Tony so that he could take his place. He began working as a mole for the Federal Bureau of Investigation in order to help get rid of his competition.

## Background

Hamfists was born in Lost Heaven to an Italian father who was a made man in Don Peppone's mob. He often accompanied his father out to small time jobs like smuggling cigars and collecting protection money from shops on Central Island. As a young man, Hamfists had attended Crawdad University gaining a degree in english.
James Turnatable

James Turnatable was the captain of The Mighty Beak, and Colonel Dodo's first boss. He served as Dodo's inspiration for wanting to become the most powerful pirate to sail the seven seas.

"People who are loyal to me are awarded greatly, and there aren't that many left who betrayed me."-Turnatable's favourite quote.

## James Turnatable

### Affiliation

Captain Flint formerlyCaptain Hawkeye deceased

## Background

Born in 1873, James came from a long family history of pirates with his great grandfather having served under Blackbeard. In the 1890's, James joined the ranks of Captain Flint's crew. He rose to become Flint's first mate, and several stories exist about his time in Flint's crew. One story involved Turnatable killing an onion farmer just for putting onions in his hotdog. Another story involved Turnatable and Flint setting fire to six ships which were carrying precious stones stolen from Bongo Hills. After discovering Treasure Island, Turnatable attempted to take the goods for himself which resulted in him getting nearly killed in a gun duel with Flint. Turnatable managed to survive, and went on to establish his own crew. He bought his own ship naming it The Mighty Beak, and became one of the most feared pirates to sail the seven seas. He also at some point took control of the Southport Docks making him perhaps the wealthiest pirate in the world.

## Meeting Colonel Dodo

In 1937, James hired Colonel Dodo to work as a janitor on the docks. Dodo was constantly tormented by Turnatable. Dodo began conspiring with some rogue members of Turnatable's crew to stage a munity to kill Turnatable and take control of his ship.

## Death

On a very warm day, Turnatable ended up pushing Dodo too far which resulted in a large scale fight between his crew and Dodo's crew. He was killed in a sword battle with the inexperienced Dodo. With Turnatable dead, Dodo took control of The Mighty Beak but ended up crashing into a nearby ice berg destroying it in the process.

## Aftermath

Turnatable was buried on Blood Island in an unmarked grave next to Flint's. With Turnatable gone, his first mate Hawkeye who had survived Dodo's mutiny took control of his crew and also took control of the Docks. Dodo later went on to kill Hawkeye, and took control of the seven seas making himself the most powerful pirate to sail the seven seas.

## Trivia

* Though Dodo greatly disliked Turnatable, he still admired the old pirate's legend and fame. He served as Dodo's inspiration for becoming a respected pirate.
* Colonel Dodo is even said to still respect Turnatable now.
* He is intended to serve as the darker version of Colonel Dodo, and represents how Dodo could have turned out.
* Despite his brutality, Turnatable did have a soft side as he had a wife and kids back in London who he was providing for.
* He was one of the richest characters in funnypasta history prior to his death.
* Turnatable's name is a pun on the term turn the table.
Father Smelly Hound

Father Smelly Hound was an associate of The Rabe Maniels Crime Syndicate. He worked as a bodyguard for Bishop Len Brennan,

"Can we hurry it up your grace? Harry Hill's TV Burp's back on tonight."-Father Smelly Hound to Bishop Brennan.

## Overview

Father Smelly Hound worked as a bodyguard for Bishop Brennan. He and Father Desmand accompanied Brennan to the Bristol Compound for a peace summit with The Lost Episode Resistance. Hound ordered Brennan to hurry up with the summit for he wanted to be home in time for the premiere of Harry Hill's TV Burp. While Brennan was escorted through to The Shadow Reader's office, Smelly Hound and Desmand were subdued by Sam and Max. They were thrown into Richard Fatchurd's laundry basket. Following Bishop Brennan's exile, the pair's fates remains ambiguous. They were likely set free and given a lesser punishment.
Domingo

Domingo was a high-ranking member of The Niko Cartel, and was one of Niko's personal bodyguards a position he shared with Carlo. He became Niko's right-hand man following his falling out with Dorian Tyrell.

"Niko's doing just what he said he'd do. He's cleaning house."-Domingo to Dorian.

## Overview

Domingo was Niko's personal bodyguard, and was handpicked by the man to replace Dorian Tyrell as his right-hand man. On his boss' orders, Domingo and fellow bodyguard Carlo brought Dorian to the Birkland Steelworks for an audience with the aging mob boss. The meeting quickly turned sour. Dorian tried to act cool only to get pinned to the ground by Domingo and Carlo. Domingo then proceeded to place a golf ball and tee into Dorian's mouth. Dorian spat it out in anger, but Carlo put it back in before holding his gun against Dorian's skull. Niko then proceeded to hit the ball out from Dorian's mouth before threatening that if he does not leave in a week he will be given a fate worse than death. Domingo later attended Niko's charity gala at The Monkey's Paw, and patrolled the perimeter possibly on the lookout for one of Dorian's moles. Deciding that Dorian had clearly heeded Niko's warning and had already left Birkland, Domingo went to celebrate with Niko with the two amicably chiming their glasses together. Unfortunately, Dorian did crash the party now holding the power of Bootleg Hulk, he and his men got into a shootout with Niko's crew. Domingo was one of the first to die in the shootout, and his boss was also killed not long after.

## Trivia

* Wore a bulletproof vest wherever he went, except for the charity gala as he felt no one would ever dare to shoot up a charity gala. Ironically, this resulted in his death.
* His fellow bodyguard Carlo was not present at the gala which saved his life. It appears that Carlo was not as devoted to Niko as Domingo had been, as he quickly jumped ship and began working for Dorian following Niko's murder.
Dominic Brasi

Dominic Brasi was the stepbrother of Luca Brasi, and the second son of Signora Brasi. He worked for the Corleone Family as Aldo Trapani's trusted lieutenant and right-hand man. Following Aldo's murder, Dominic took his place in the family, and after Michael Corleone Jr and Albert Neri were killed, Dominic became the new Don, and moved the family's operations over to Vice City.

"It took a man like Hyman Roth to get us all to the table."-Dominic Brasi.

## Dominic Brasi

### Relatives

Signora Brasi (Mother) deceasedRichie Constanza (Father) incarcerated

Luca Brasi (Stepbrother) deceased

### Affiliation

Corleone Crime FamilyThe Lost Episode Resistance

The Hyman Roth Pie Syndicate

Aldo Trapani deceased

Michael Corleone deceased

Michael Corleone Jr deceased

Michael Corleone Jr Part II

Albert Neri deceased

Peter Clemenza possibly

Tony Rosato

Carmine Rosato

Hyman Roth

## Overview

After Luca Brasi left home, his mother ended up having an affair with Richie Constanza a made member of the Falcone Crime Family. She became pregnant with Dominic, and since he had been born nearly two decades after Luca, the pair never met each other. Dominic unlike Brasi was well behaved and excelled in school. In 2016, Dominic moved to London and fell in with the Corleone Family through unknown means, and became Aldo Trapani's trusted lieutenant and right-hand man. After The Great Gang War, Trapani is executed by Richard Mason, and this results in Dominic taking his position as the Corleone Family's top caporegime. He tries his best to persuade Michael Corleone Jr to move the family's operations out to Vice City, but Michael refuses due to him believing that the city is riddled with drugs and rival gangs. During the baptism, Michael and his underboss Albert Neri are killed in a drive by shooting performed by The Lost Episode Resistance but Dominic managed to duck out of the way just in time. With Michael, Neri, and Trapani dead, Dominic became the new Don of the Corleone Family, and split the family into two factions with one operating in Vice City while the other remained in London. He placed the Rosato Brother in charge of the London branch, while Dominic and his right-hand man Michael Corleone Jr Part II moved to Vice City. He also sued for peace with the Resistance in order to ensure his safety.

## Trivia

* According to Al Neri, Dominic is incredibly boring and very blunt. He also allegedly had terrible judgement when it came to picking soldiers for his regime, and didn't even bother asking if they were qualified or not.
* Due to them being born decades apart, Dominic and Luca never met.
* Despite never meeting, Dominic knows about Luca and his reputation as a savage killer despite his mother's best attempts to hide them from each other. It was because of Luca's reputation, that inspired Dominic to join the Corleone Family in the first place.
* In Vice City, Dominic was said to have aligned his family with Hyman Roth who controlled the city's rackets.
* He joined the Corleone's in 2016 a year after Vito's death and Michael taking over the family.
Unnamed Enforcer 1

Unnamed Enforcer 1 was an enforcer for The Faustin Family and acted as a henchman for Derek Pippen.

"They as good as dead anyway Derek."-The enforcer to Derek.

## Overview

This unnamed enforcer along with a fellow unnamed enforcer accompanied Derek Pippen to Mikhail Faustin's car dealership in order to settle an issue with Matthew Williams and Lazarus Marmite. Pippen then ordered the two enforcers to kill the pair but they ended up getting killed themselves.
Emergency Protocols

The Emergency Protocols detailed among other things, the actions the British Government was to take in an event of a lost media incursion. They listed people who could help in a crisis involving lost media. Most notabl

y Richard Fatchurd and Harold Saxon.

When the Emergency Protocols had been invoked, military officials could authorise immediate executions. Computer software would search all communications for key words.

When Rabe Maniels took over as Prime Minister in June 2019, the emergency protocols were handed over to him.

While hiding in the Cabinet Room, Sam and Max browsed the emergency protocols for any information that could help with the Resistance's fight against Rabe Maniels but most of the people listed had already been taken out by Maniels.

## Trivia

* The emergency protocols were created by Harold Saxon, and he was considered by the government to be the go to guy for lost media occursions prior to his death.
* The CLPD has it's own version of the emergency protocols though they have nothing to do with lost media.
KGBSpetsnaz

**KGBSpetsnaz** (who used to go by **Bennyben1998**) is a Wikia user. He is an admin on the Real Life Villains Wiki, Real Life Heroes Wiki, Madeup Characters Wiki, and here on Scotch-prewar.net Wiki! His allies include Lord Redwood and Bruno Tattaglia. He has an avatar of Niko Bellic because that’s his favourite *GTA* character. He is also not Russian in any way, shape, or form as you may think by his username. He is actually of Norwegian, German, British, Northern Irish, and Scottish descent. However, he loves himself some southern and Eastern European women! He’s also an American who lives in Georgia (as in the state, NOT the country).
Margret Blaine

Margret Blaine was a senior member of MI5 who was killed and made into a skin suit by Blon Fel-Fotch Passameer Day Slitheen.

"There's no more information Sir; I personally escorted the Prime Minister from the Cabinet room to his car."-Blaine to General Asquith about Rabe Maniels' sudden disappearance from Downing Street.

## Overview

Blaine was a senior member of MI5 who was close friends with General R. Asquith. At some point prior to September 2019, Asquith dispatched Blaine to question Rabe Maniels over the lost media projects appearing over town. During the meeting, Blaine was taken by surprise and killed by Blon Fel-Fotch Passameer Day Slitheen. According to Blon, Blaine died screaming for PG Tips and Custard Creams. Blon was later killed along with the rest of her Slitheen brethren minus Jocrassa when a vat of vinegar was dropped onto them avenging Blaine's death in the process. Prior to her death; Blaine had began courting Matthew Williams with the pair being spotted at a café in Cardiff City.

## Trivia

* Reportedly had very bad breath which came out as nasty green gas.
* Like General Asquith; Blaine is still alive outside of The Rabe Maniels Arc and is shown to still be working for MI5.
* Owned a Vauxhall Corsa.
* When asked if there was a Mr Blaine; Blon Fel-Fotch Passameer Day Slitheen responded; "not anymore;" it's unclear if she was referring to the husband of Margret Blaine or perhaps a husband of her own back on Raxacoricofallapatorius.
* Resided in Cardiff for several years where she lived in an apartment house near a lighthouse.
* Was a big fan of the opera, and her favourite play was Deflate A Mouse.
* She was a dear friend of General Asquith. According to the guide; Blaine was also a personal friend of Ennio Salieri and Frank Coletti having befriended the pair when they were operating in Cardiff for a period in 2006. Salieri was reportedly devastated when he heard from The Shadow Reader than Blaine had been replaced with a Slitheen. He wanted to wage war against Rabe Maniels, but was prevented by Shadow who like some kind of Caronite felt that it was far too soon.
Thedore Rossi

Thedore Rossi was a senior CLPD Homicide Detective affiliated with The Rabe Maniels Crime Syndicate.

## Overview

Rossi was a detective in the CLPD's Homicide Department partnered with Michael McAlister. He was corrupt and was on Rabe Maniels and Scooter's payrolls. He influenced his partner to take bribes, and both men found themselves a place on Rabe's payroll. Following the death of Rabe Maniels and exposure of his Syndicate, Rossi was arrested and given the electric chair for his crimes. McAlister meanwhile was spared due to his younger brother Ewan being Mayor of Cardiff City.

## Quote

"Ah screw off Sam. The CLPD was better when Asquith was around, and before you two went and fucked everything up."-Rossi to Sam.

"Skipper is the new lost episode genuine?"-Rossi to Captain Donnelly.

## Trivia

* Rossi is one of several officers to say that the CLPD was better under Richard Asquith's control.
Stinky

Stinky was a burger van owner from Somerset who had ties to organised crime. He was arrested in 2007 for his involvement in the Walkers Crisp trade.

"You two oughta be burnt at the stake!"-Stinky to Mr Krabs and Plankton.

## Stinky

### Affiliation

Mr Badger formerlyEddie Scarpa

Scarpa Crime Family

Billy's Gang

Sam and Max

## Overview

Known for being a vicious cynic, Stinky was an incredibly wealthy burger van owner stationed in Somerset, and he made loads of money due to the fact that he was the only burger van owner in the county. Though rich and powerful, Stinky was corrupt and was involved in several criminal organizations. He was supplied with green doors by Mr Badger which he would then sell on the streets in order to make a killing. He was eventually caught by Sam and Max, and told them about Mr Badger. Later, Stinky got involved in the Walkers Extra Crunchy Crisps trade, and because he was not allied with the mob this made his van vulnerable to attack. He was captured by the Scarpa Family, but managed to pay them off with a small fine of £9000. Stinky was arrested not long after this incident, and is currently serving life at Hartman Penitentiary.

## Trivia

* Though he made a lot of money from burgers, Stinky made much more money from selling green doors and crisps. He earned £500 per door.
* He owned a mansion made entirely of Frankincense.
* Stinky was racist towards crabs, and he often called Mr Krabs, Rag Boy, and also often referred to Plankton as Smellyton.
* Stinky is currently serving life at Hartman Penitentiary.
* He smells really bad as the name implies.
* Stinky was a gambling addict, and had a lot of bad debts which was one of the main reasons for his getting involved in criminal businesses.
* Whenever people complained about Stinky and his motives, he would make up a sob story about how his mother used to have to wash Stinky's clothes in the oven.
* He appears in The Rabe Maniels Arc where he works as a chef at Hartley Dale High School.
Slimy Sausage

Slimy Sausage was the illegitimate son of Mr Walrus and his wife. His biological father was Krinkles who is a clown and it is the reason Slimy is a seal and not a walrus. Slimy was an associate of The Lost Episode Resistance.

"No pops I wanna play!"-Slimy's catchphrase.

## Overview

Slimy is a fat seal who is the illegitimate son of Mr Walrus. His real father is Krinkles who had an affair with Slimy's mother. Despite being nearly 46 years old, Slimy refuses to leave home even though he does own an apartment in Empire Bay. Slimy is very dumb and loves to be really silly which often infuriates his father and other people who come into contact with him. Though very dumb, Slimy does have a darker side to his personality and sometimes shows that he is not as dumb as he looks as shown when he lost his cool with his father when he let Johnny Buggerton go.

## Joining The Resistance

At some point prior to December 2019, Slimy made contact with
Victor Kennedy

Victor Kennedy was a high profile businessman and socialite who was also part of The Rabe Maniels Crime Syndicate. He served Rabe Maniels as hired help and a lost media courier. He was believed by some including Richard Mason and R. Asquith to be the man behind the lost media crisis. He was in reality just a lackey for Rabe Maniels.

"You stupid man!"-Kennedy to Matthew Williams.

## Overview

One of the richest and most powerful business people in London, Kennedy affiliated himself with Rabe Maniels and Johnny Buggerton. He worked for Maniels as hired help and as a lost media courier. He supplied a Peppa Pig lost episode to Richard Mason, and later attended a meeting with Rabe and some other members of the Syndicate at The Purple Otter. He also attended the conference at 10 Downing Street. Kennedy was notable for being one of the few people to walk away free from the scandal, and sued for peace with The Lost Episode Resistance after they killed Rabe Maniels and wiped out the entire Syndicate.

## Appears In

The Death Of Mr Potato (Peppa Pig Lost Episode)

The Fall Of Rabe Maniels Part Three: Per Aspera Ad Astra (Mentioned)

## Trivia

* Had a much larger role in the first two scripts, especially in The Moss Draft where he owned an entire multi billion pound company which becomes an investor in The Lost Episode Resistance via their rat John Claude. Kennedy steals money from their account, and frames them for the death of an important city senator Mr Skinner which is the reason the Resistance have to relocate in that version. In the actual Arc, his role is very minor with him being thought of to be a big threat, when in reality he was just one of Maniels' couriers.
* His small role in the Syndicate is presumably the reason he was able to walk away a free man from the scandal.
* Cares a great deal about his walking stick which he has named Filomena and if anyone comes close to breaking it he gets the angriest any man has ever been.
* According to the guide; he is 46 years old and is currently married to a woman named Bliss. He also allegedly has a brother who runs a nightclub though Kennedy strongly denies having a brother.
* Resides in Kensington; the royal borough up top and was said to be well educated having come from a family of means.
* Had a secretary named Mrs Tee whom he killed when she realised his connection to lost media.
* Owned an entire office block named Kennedy Town.
Walter Big

Walter Big was a loan shark in Oakton City who later returned to his home in Scotland to leach off from his younger brother Winston.

"I just thought you would want a piece of the action."-Walter trying to engage his brother in his criminal activities.

## Overview

Born in Scotland only a year before his younger brother Winston; Walter was always more popular than his brother. Everyone in their local town loved Walter, with only Winston being able to see through Walter who was a self serving cruel man who always mooches money out from him. In 2016, Walter came to Oakton City where he established himself as a feared loan shark. He was notable for being an independent criminal without any other criminal organisation backing him up. He became pretty infamous throughout the city especially in the rough parts like Sternton Island where he targeted weak willed residents who happily accepted money from Walter, and when they refused to pay back Walter would have them beaten with his bare hands. His main competitor was Bill Sykes a Molinari Family backed loan shark and debt collector. His most notable client was Bucky McBadbat who owed Walter a substantial amount of money. Eventually, he and Bucky came to an understanding. He assisted Bucky with getting out from under Sykes' thumb, with the pair managing to kill Sykes. Following Sykes' death; Walter decided to call it quits on the loansharking business, but not before cutting a deal with the Molinari Family bribing them with precious stones in order to avoid them seeking retribution for Sykes' death. The Molinari's not bothered by the death of Sykes happily accepted the bribe, and Walter parted ways with Bucky as he then returned home to Scotland where he quicky went back to his con man ways conning his younger brother all the time.

## Trivia

* Walter Big seems to be a friend of Joe Barbaro as he owned a modified Colt 11 Handgun, and Joe mentioned that there were only five of them in the world with them being owned by Joe, Walter, Vito Scaletta, Niko, and Sam Trapani.
* Although an independent criminal and loan shark; Walter occasionally worked for other gangs including the Molinari Family as a hired thug.
* Known to make fun of his younger brother for having a wooden leg. Walter often boasted that both of his legs worked just fine.
* Wanted to be a lawyer when he was younger, but he couldn't be bothered to go through all of the hard work of law school.
* Walter was a widower; his wife was killed in the Tobassco Crash of 1997.
Tim Jeffery

Tim Jeffery was a newly hired IT teacher at Hartley Dale High School.

## Overview

Recently hired at Hartley Dale High School, Tim Jeffery was selected as the new head of the IT Department, and he had big plans for his class with a lesson plans list the size of a double decker bus. He was also a massive Marvel fan, and often used superhero characters as visual aids for his lessons. On his first day on the job, Tim was brought to an abandoned hallway by headteacher Greg Blakeman. Blakeman let one rip, which Jeffery laughed off showing him to be a very understanding man. Blakeman then removed Tim's glasses to his confusion, and from behind him appeared Glune Fel-Fotch Passameer Day Slitheen appeared and tapped Tim on the back. Tim turned around to see Glune, and screamed in horror as he was killed. Glune then took Tim's skin and used the IT labs to show lost media to his students. The Slitheen posing as Jeffery was eventually killed after a round of otter sauce was thrown at him by Notso Hott. This action is what leads The Shadow Reader to realise that otter sauce is the weakness of the Slitheen Family.
Thomas Blake

Major Thomas Blake was a senior military officer who served as General W.R Monger's second in command at the Tower of Chilly Charlie and Bappy Bob which oversaw any lost media projects that had appeared in London. Blake was in charge of securing any lost media projects for Monger.

"We most certainly did Commander. We need the ear of a man in the know."-Major Blake to R. Asquith.

## Thomas Blake

### Aliases

Major Thomas BlakeMajor

Blakey

### Affiliation

British Armed ForcesW.R Monger

R. Asquith

Grosvenor McCaffery

## Overview

Major Blake welcomed Grosvenor McCaffery and General R. Asquith into the Tower of Chilly Charlie and Bappy Bob. He led the pair upstairs to see General W.R Monger. Major Blake informed McCaffery about the Uncharted 3 bootleg copy, and helped General Monger with forcing McCaffery to play the game. While playing, McCaffery ended up vomiting all over Blake twice. When the soldiers were confronted by Bob a monster blob; Major Blake tried his best to reason with the creature reasoning that surly even Bob's species must have articles of war. Bob didn't understand and instead ate Blake who ended up dissolving and dying in Bob's blobby body.

## Quote

"You've already been subjected to a bootleg Uncharted game; and now we need to test this."-Blake before giving Grosvenor McCaffery the Uncharted 3 bootleg.

## Trivia

* Though General W.R Monger's second in command, Thomas Blake is shown to be close friends with R. Asquith with Asquith referring to the Major as; "Blakey." Blake meanwhile respectfully refers to Asquith as; "commander."
* He idolised The Shadow Reader; and once asked General Asquith is the stories about him were true.
Vinnie DeFont

Vinnie DeFont was a well established career criminal and hitman for hire.

"Look Sage; I was in the game for too long. Any morals I had they died a long time ago. You were just a simple little tumbleweed. So I robbed you and sold you out to King Courtney, that don't change a damn thing ya hear? Even if you get rid of me; you're still gonna have to deal with King Courtney and that annoying little fecker Zimos."-Vinnie attempting to justify his betrayal.

## Overview

An already well established career criminal and hitman for hire, Vinnie was Sage's best friend and the pair made a pact to use their stashed millions to buy a villa down on the Spanish coast and retire from their criminal lifestyle. Vinnie attempted to go straight by becoming a janitor at the same seedy bar that Sage worked at. Vinnie ends up betraying him by stealing his hard earned millions and putting him on King Courtney's death list. After attending a meeting with his realty agent Richard Beck; Vinnie gets ready to board a plane to Spain in order to buy a costal villa down there. Sage arrives at the airport in order to confront Vinnie for his betrayal, but Vinnie defends his actions by saying he was in the game for far to long and any morals he had they died a long time ago. Sage then kills Vinnie and steals back his stolen money.

## Trivia

* Vinnie DeFont serves as the main antagonist of Patrick To The Stars.
* Vinnie's criminal career began in 2000 when he was caught selling candy cigarettes outside the court centre in Los Angeles.
* He had done a few jobs for Zimos in the past, but eventually stopped working for him because Zimos kept sending him on suicide missions like driving a tiger in a truck.
* During the 1990's, Vinnie had a very brief stint of working as an intern at Nickelodeon but left the company in 1999 shortly after the first episode of SpongeBob SquarePants premiered. He attempted to work as a postman, but when that backfired he turned to a life of crime.
* His father was a slug named Brian Josiah.
* Vinnie was was immune to the effects of the Sun due to him being 2% sunlight which came as a result of his father having an affair with a sun maker from Kennedy Town.
Voward Camlin

Voward Camlin was headteacher of Hartley Dale High School from 2002 to 2006.

"What's this about?"-Voward just before he is fired by the school board.

## Overview

Though headteacher; Camlin was highly corrupt he accepted bribes from several known gangsters, and also intentionally caused serious issues in the pension fund so that more money could come his way. Maths teacher Greg Blakeman with help from journalist Ned Burner was able to expose Camlin for these actions and he also framed Camlin for a few other things such as Camlin being a chewits addict. Camlin was promptly fired, and he moved to New Hampshire where he became an actor with Widdecombe And Pump. As an actor, Voward is known to quite annoying as he really needs to know what his motivation for the scene is before it can be filmed.
The Rabe Maniels Intrigue

The Rabe Maniels Intrigue refers to a major conflict which took place between The Rabe Maniels Crime Syndicate and The Lost Episode Resistance. The Intrigue began with the death of General R. Asquith and ended with Johnny Buggerton's death which caused the events of The Great Gang War.

## Overview

The Rabe Maniels Intrigue started out as a small conflict with The Lost Episode Resistance and Rabe Maniels Crime Syndicate. Both gangs had been at each other's throats nearly all year until the Syndicate goes over the line by killing Luca Brasi and landing The Shadow Reader in the hospital. The Resistance strike back by killing Luca's assassin Salvatore Manetti, and destroying some of Maniels' business rackets. They then anger Maniels by killing his right-hand man Johnny Buggerton triggering the events of The Great Gang War. The war resulted in the death of Lazarus Marmite, and Shadow suing for peace with Maniels and Granny Dryden.
Wendy

Wendy was the secretary of Richard Asquith, and also the wife of Mr Walrus. She is incredibly unfaithful and cheats on Walrus regularly with several people including Krinkle and Lazarus Marmite.

## Overview

Wendy worked as Richard Asquith's secretary at the CLPD central police station. Wendy briefly appeared in Asquith's office, and informed Asquith that Rabe Maniels and his friends were there to see him. She winked at Lazarus Marmite before making her depature. After Asquith's death, Wendy's occupational status remains unknown. Wendy is later revealed to be wife of Mr Walrus and the mother of Slimy Sausage. Wendy has confided in Walrus that Slimy is not really his child and is the son of her lover Krinkle. Her affair with Krinkle is appranately the reason why Slimy is a seal not a walrus. While Slimy appears to have a one sided relationship with his father, it's unclear what kind of relationship he has with his mother as she has yet to appear in a story with him.

## Trivia

* It is currently unknown if Wendy still works at the CLPD or if she left after Asquith's death.
* Wendy is one of several characters to only have their first name revealed.
* Her attire is very innapproaite for the workplace.
* While Mr Walrus appears to be a very faithful and loving husband, Wendy is unfaithful and vain having several lovers including Krinkle and Lazarus Marmite.
* Her brief flirting with Lazarus is brought up in "The Fall of Rabe Maniels Part Two," when Walrus mentions that Marmite and Wendy have began seeing each other twice a week.
* Wendy's appearance and age is very confusing. She is the mother of Slimy Sausage who has been confirmed to be almost 46 years old, and she appears to look incredibly youthful and much younger than Mr Walrus who is well into his late 70's or early 80's.
* Her name has never been spoken in any funnypasta she has been referred to as "Asquith's Secretary," by Lazarus Marmite and as "my wife," by Mr Walrus.
* Wendy was working as a mechanic in Lost Heaven when she and Mr Walrus met for the first time.
* It also remains unknown what kind of relationship Wendy has with her son Slimy, as they never appear together and Slimy never mentions her. It is hinted that Slimy might get some of his negative/bad traits from her.
The Ramos Brothers

The Ramos Brothers were associates of Barry Scott who were imprisoned for life thanks to the actions of Scott's right-hand man Omar Suarez.

## Overview

The Ramos Brothers were associates of Barry Scott and Cillit Bang Incorporated. They resided in West Wallaby Street, and helped Scott with smuggling his Cillit Bang into the town of West Wallaby. They were also close associates with Barry's right-hand man Omar Suarez who acted as the necessary middleman between the Brothers and Scott. Unbeknownst to the Ramos Brothers and Barry Scott, Suarez was a police informant and was helping the police with taking down Barry Scott's operation. Suarez's information helped the police put the Ramos Brothers behind bars for life.

## Trivia

* According to Barry Scott, the Brothers were a pair of lunatics who acted as hired muscle for Cillit Bang Incorporated.
* The Brothers are currently serving life at Hartman Penitentiary.
* The Ramos Brothers were of Cuban decent.
Andrei Bradford

Andrei Bradford was an enforcer for The Faustin Crime Family.

"Who are you boys working for?"-Andrei to Father O'Brien.

## Overview

An enforcer of the Faustin Family, Andrei was relatively small time compared to Mikhail Faustin and Dimitri Rasaclov. Andrei was ordered by Dimitri Rasaclov to capture Father O'Brien and Monk Trunk for killing Faustin's lieutenant Steve Claude. Against Dimitri's wishes, Andrei brought the pair to Faustin's house, and attempted to find out who they were working for. Faustin then appeared on the scene very angry and shot Andrei in the head killing him instantly. Andrei's death was one of the reasons that led to Dimitri making deals behind Faustin's back as he could no longer trust Faustin or his judgement anymore.

## Trivia

* According to Faustin; he killed Andrei for having a face like a pickled onion and looking at Faustin like his head was a big old cheeseburger.
* Prior to joining the Faustin Family; Andrei had made his bones as an executioner for Amigo Loans.
* One of the few characters not to have an entry in the funnypasta guide.
* The AK47 appears to be his weapon of choice.
* According to Dimitri; Andrei was a friend of a friend back in Russia.
	+ The EBPD police database explains that Andrei was born in Russia in 1967, and came to Empire Bay in 2008 where he fell in with the Faustin Family after working for awhile as a hitman for Amigo Loans.
	+ He had a brother in Russia and they were both involved in criminal activities.
Young Farmer

A young farmer who was an acquittance of Greg Blakeman and his son Peter.

## Overview

A farmer of unknown name worked on Riker's Field for the Corleone Family. Her father was a good friend of Don Corleone who arranged this job for her. She is sexually involved with Greg Blakeman as well as his son Peter. She was unaware that almost a year Blakeman was impersonated by a Slitheen. It's unknown how she felt about his sudden disappearance.

## Trivia

* Quite evil since she didn't tell Peter that his father was alive, as Peter was under the assumption that Greg was dead after he faked his death to get out of being a father.
* The guide confirms that Jocrassa Fel-Fotch while disguised as Blakeman had a number of sexual encounters with the farmer, Blakeman's wife, and mistress.
* Harold Caldwell was a frequent visitor of hers which is odd since he resides in Los Angeles.
GMC Civilian Command

GMC Diplomatic Corps

GMC Colony Command

GMC Frontier Development

GMC Expeditionary Corps

The Civilian Command is the branch the overlooks all civilian matters inside the GMC.It is by far the largest Branch in the Corporation. It was created during the Great Reformation and has several subbranches, like the Transportation Command, the Resource Command and the Diplomatic Corps.
The Twelve Tribes of Israel

**The Twelve Tribes of Israel** were actually the ancestors of white Europeans, NOT modern Jews. All 12 tribes were named after the sons of the biblical patriarch named Jacob.

* Reuben: Greeks
* Simeon: Italians
* Levi: Spaniards and Portuguese
* Judah: Germans, Austrians, Swiss
* Issachar: English, Scottish, Welsh, Northern Irish, Irish
* Zebulon: French
* Dan: Norwegians, Swedes, Danes, Finns, Icelanders
* Naphtali: Dutch, Belgians
* Gad: Latvians, Lithuanians, Estonians
* Asher: Albanians, Armenians, Georgians
* Joseph: Poles, Czechs, Slovaks, Slovenes, Hungarians
* Benjamin: Russians, Ukrainians, Belarusians, Bulgarians, Romanians, Serbians, Macedonians, Croatians

## Trivia

* The first ten sons of Jacob were children of Jacob and Leah, while the last two were children of Jacob and Leah’s younger sister named Rachel.
* Dinah was the only daughter of Jacob and her mother was Leah. She was born after the first six but before the other six. Interestingly, she was never an Israelite tribe. It is also unknown if she had a husband and descendants or not.
Doctor Freeze

Doctor Freeze was the Second In Command of Dorian Tyrell's Gang. He was Dorian Tyrell's right-hand man, best friend, and possible lover.

"You're putting the chill on my thrill."-Dr Freeze to Dorian.

## Overview

Doctor Freeze was once a bishop, but he eventually left the church to become involved with The Niko Cartel. Initially, Freeze worked for Niko as a safecracker though he never liked the man much as he treated him with very little respect. Freeze joined up with Dorian Tyrell becoming his safecracker and right-hand man. Freeze was part of Dorian's plot to kill Niko. Freeze was wary of Niko, and told Dorian to keep his wits about him. In March 2021, Freeze and Dorian as well as their friend Caramel Joe viewed an episode of House Of Mouse which gave Dorian the powers of Bootleg Hulk. Dorian used the powers to kill Niko, but he was forced to go into hiding for a few months until the heat died down, and during that time Commissioner Green a close friend and corrupt ally of Niko's dealt out severe punishments to Freeze and Joe with Joe being boiled alive in a huge pot of caramel while Freeze was trapped inside a huge fridge, and when he was finally let out all that was left a massive block of ice. Freeze reportedly looked very shocked when he was finally unthawed so that he could be given a proper burial by Tyrell.

## Trivia

* A friend of Bill The Lizard.
* Doesn't have an entry in the guide.
* Doctor is an alias, his real first name is unknown. Also despite the nickname, Freeze had never worked as a doctor and actually worked as a bishop before joining up with Dorian.
Jotunheim Project

The Jorthunheim Project is the development of a modular Monitor, to protect a single system. They are supposed to be relatively small, but armed with extremely powerful weaponry, Ranging from regular cannons to Nova or Lance Cannons. They are modular, meaning the weapons can be switched to whatever is necessary to protect the Corporation. To accommodate for the higher energy requirement when using Lance Weaponry, additional Arc-Reactors can be equipped to the ships. Other modules would include more weapon attachments, more thrusters and gyroscopes, more cargo space, additional protective plating, additional shields, a nanite repair system and many more. Because of those modules they could be used for any defensive role, from long range lance artillery that could cut though enemy vessels in a few seconds to fighter screens that could annihilate entire squadrons in seconds.
Zirax Crusade

In the early days of the corporation, they only had one planet, Erila, under their control. They didn't really had the military force to take over the rest of the System. So they paid a local alien species to do the work for them. This species were known as "Zirax".

Not long after the system was conquert however, the Zirax turned against the Corporation. A bloody war was the result.

## Prelude to War

After the corporation got control over the Erila System, they begann to colonize other planets outside of the system. In the system the started to build many new facilitys and and build outposts and settlements on every single planet. They also begann to rapidly expand their military with new ships like the Helios Class Light Cruiser (now classified as a light corvette). The Zirax however did not like this and started to attack Corporation Outposts and shipments. As a result the Corporation declared war on them at the 5th of November 2152

## War

The warships of the Zirax were old and almost outdated. They had no chance against the Corporations new warships. The battles in space were always over quickly, with minimal Corporation casualtys.

The battles on the ground however turned out far more bloody. The Zirax turned out to be extremely skilled warriors and defended their world viciously. Though they stood no chance against the Corporation, they managed to inflict heavy casualties on corporation forces.

The war only lasted 2 weeks, after wich the Zirax surrenderd and were exterminated.

## Aftermath

After the war, in wich the Zirax were fully exterminated, the Corporation was able to take over many of their ships and installations, wich actually strengthen the corporation. Also, as a result of the war, the corporation did rapidly expand their military. In the months after the war 180 Helios class warships were constructed. Of course the corporation now had control over the entire Erila system, wich again strengthen them further
"Baron"

"Baron" is the Leader and founder of the Galactic Mining Corporation. Not much is commonly known about him. All we know is that he founded the Corporation in 2134, meaning that he his is over 300 Years old! How he achieved this age is not known. His real name, age or basically anything else about him is a big mystery
Admiral William "Husker" Adama

Admiral William "Husker" Adama is a highly decorated Admiral within the GMC. He currently oversees the design and construction of new ships.

## Early History

Adama was born on the GMC homeworld of Erila. He was a smart child and soon attracted the attention of his teachers.

He enlisted in the GMCN on his 20th birthday, where he once again drew the attention of his superior with his quick thinking and abstract strategies. He quickly rose through the ranks and became an Rear Admiral with only 30 years.

## Sigmar Campain

In 2592 he lead the GMC Expeditionary Corps in a campaign the gain the control over the Sigmar System. There he once again proved his superior tactical thinking, but also showed extraordinary talent in designing new ships. The Campaign ended with a full retread of GMC forces and the establishment of a neutral civilian government in this system

## Utopia Shipyards

After the campaign Adama was assigned to the Utopia Shipyards in the Erila system, where he currentlyoversees the design of new space ships. He was promoted to Admiral for his duties during the Sigmar Campain
Valair

Valair was a resident of London who was infamous for appearing in the infamous medical blunders episode of Boomerang. During a interview regarding medical failures such as Valair's failed tonsillectomy, the host Erik Hartman kept laughing at Valair's voice which culminated in Boomerang getting cancelled and Erik Hartman being forced to become a DJ with his own radio show DJ Boomerang.

## Overview

As a result of a failed tonsillectomy; Valair's vocal chords were horrifically damaged and his voice sounded like Mickey Mouse. Valair appeared on Boomerang during the infamous medical blunders episode which led to the show's cancellation. During the interview; the host Erik Hartman was unable to contain his laughter at Valair's voice. Valair showed no anger towards Hartman's laughter; and just remained impassive as he quite the impassive man all things considered. A man in the audience who suffered from the same vocal issue as Valair tried to speak up and offer his opinion, but his voice was incredibly deep and raspy which caused Hartman to completely lose it. That man turned out to be a high-ranking network executive who was going undercover in the audience, and it was through him that Boomerang was canned. It's worth noting that the man tried to console Valair, but he was rudely pushed away by a woman presumably his wife.

## Overview

* Resides in Greenfield, London.
* Rarely seen since the failed interview; neighbours only claim to see Valair when he collects the paper or trims the hedge.
* Erik Hartman typically rehearses his shows with his guests before the interview; but Valair was unable to attend the rehearsals due to traffic. Had he of done the rehearsals; Hartman would know what Valair sounded like before the show and would have time to better prepare to contain his laughter.
* Attended primary school with Handsomodo; where he often tried to nick Handso's LEGO minifigures.
* Has a keen interest in buses and bus driver. He works as a bus spotter in his spare time.