Assassinations of King John

This Article compiles all the assassinations which have been enacted upon holders of the title "King John" in Johnwyrld.

##### Kyng Kong's Assassination of human King John:

Rumors circulated that King John was to be performing a speech in front of the destroyed Drama Alert HQ. This was the perfect time for Kong to strike. Drama Alert kept subjects under perpetual Drama for so long that King John never thought to protect his own self. Kong easily snuck behind the podium and punched King John in the face, along with every government official, all of which were present. With the entire government dead, the Johnish military seized control, starting a civil war with the supporters of Kong and the military. This war ended when Stahn rallied the celebrating Kekys and defeated the military. Kong ascended to the throne as he was promised and became Kyng Kong.

##### Kyng Kong's Assassination of gorilla King John:

While hiding in Bygsad, Kyng Kong hadn't forgotten about John. The Kekys pooled together 101001010101010 moneys to pay Kong if he assassinated the other King John. They accepted, and sent every person in active duty to Bygsad and killed the other King John.

##### Kekys Assassination of King John via Hole:

There were a lot of Anti-John groups in the Kingdom, but none of them had a lot of power. The Kekys spies stacked onto each other and wore a trenchcoat to disguise as a human. After adopting a secret identity, they called an underground meeting of anti-johners. They pitched the idea of a catapult, to which everyone agreed. They began building it and waited until King John's next annual shower day. The crows snuck in through the Vents, and bound King John up. The Chimpanzees then burst through the door and carried him to the catapult, aimed towards Deth. King John took 5 days to travel into the hole.

##### Sussy Assassination of King John (Wei Wars):

The greatest Elephant general, general Olive, (her original name is Bahruuahha Haubruahuh, anglicized to Olive) was pushing back against the Wei armies easily. During the attack, she managed to kill a thousand Wei soldiers and eat 50 Wei babies. In the city of London, Southern KOJ she encountered a troop of Wei "glitter throwers". They wielded canons that spewed orange glitter on their enemies. Olive killed them easily and didn't care for the orange glitter on her back. Little did she know, the glitter was actually Amogium. She became progressively more paranoid of the people around her. She started killing her soldiers in their sleep. Journal entries show her describing them as merely "sus". Eventually, she becomes "sus" of the current King John as well. While King John was on his way to a skirmish in the Northern regions of the Kingdom, he was intercepted by Olive, who trampled him.

##### Ningis Assassination of King John:

The Ningis, having failed last time, set their eyes on exploration once again. The Ningis queen, Mthththhthth Gwgrgqgag, recreated the 30 balloon ship of before. She sailed around Johnwyrld as usual. When she came to Vykarijohn, she had the chance to meet with King John. In the years since Aellyllylyllylll's founding, Welsh nobles intermarried with the Johnish families often. The newest King John spoke fluent Welsh and came from a Welsh mother. King John challenged  Queen Gwgrgqgag to a friendly game of gêmamserhwyliogllerydychchi'nymladdffraethinebymennyddmawridrechugwrthwynebydd, a traditional Welsh board game analogous to chess. The game went back and forth for a while, until the Queen moved her King. "I'll move my King one space" she announced casually. King John looked up angrily "that's not what it's called!" he shouted "That peice is called the Hayyahwuhsyylylyllallswlllalllylyllsllyly!". The Queen was confused, so she just repeated the word he had said. "You pronounced it incorrectly!" screamed the King "You come here to mock me and my language!". The King pulled out a sword, to which the Queen pulled hers. They dueled, and eventually the Queen overcame him and killed him. She was tried and executed for assasination.

##### Kyvqokor Assassination of King John (Great Heresy Wars):

When Elon Musk floated over to the capital castle, Kyvqokor tested his power and battled him. He wrestled him in the sky and eventually snapped his neck, assassinating him. Meanwhile, King John had arrived at the main castle while Kyvqokor was distracted and the army was scared. As King John came up the stairs, Kyvqokor did the same to him.

##### The Naruto Surgery of King John (World War Phour cum Dethtyme):

Kyvqokor naruto ran all the way over to the castle of King John. He was taking his minutely shower, he then died after Kyvqokor took his Pancreas and replaced it with his heart and then replaced his heart with his Kidney and replaced his Kidney with his Brain which he replaced with his Pancreas. King John then died.