Heralds E3

[lead-in to intro music]

[dramatic music]

PINK TIE INTRO RUSSELL: Greetings and salutations, one and all. Russell Eugene Welch III at your service. Welcome back to The Spawn of Chaos' first campaign, episode three of the Heralds of Wayinar. Before we jump into the chaos, just a little thing to touch on. You may notice that I'm not Regular Intro Russell, I am Pink Tie Intro Russell. Now, why is Pink Tie Intro Russell here? you might ask. Pink Tie Intro Russell is here to explain that Pink Tie Reshoot Russell is in today's episode. Now, you may be sitting there and be like, “Whaaat? I don't really understand what the hell you're talking about, Russell, you're spouting nonsense.” So, let me spout it out for you. Due to the other Russell's fault, not mine, I'm Pink Tie Intro Russell, not me, the regular Russell's fault, ten minutes of his video after we filmed just poofed into the nether, and vanished into the void, and is gone forever, and we can't find it. So, that dumbass fucked that shit up, and so my dumb ass has to come in here, (whispers) just to be clear, not as dumb as his dumb ass because he fucked this up, I'm fixing it (normal) but my dumb ass has to come in here, Pink Tie Intro Russell, and explain to you that Pink Tie Reshoot Russell, not me, different Pink Tie Russell, is going to pop up during the episode. So, essentially what we had to do is, and by we I mean him, uh, had to listen to the audio that we have, and then he just recreates the scene exactly. So, it'll…it'll be a weird, you'll have a little blip in the middle of the episode where "boop!" uh, Pink Tie Reshoot Russell will pop up, uh, he will say the lines, they're the same as before, uh, we just had to reshoot them. So, thank you so much for your understanding with our technical difficulties because that dumbass fucked something up, and I hope you enjoy today's episode. Without further ado, let's jump right into it. Chaos awaits. {winks}

REGULAR RUSSELL: Welcome back to episode three of the Heralds of Wayinar. [jungle noises] We have left our party after they just had to part with one of their fellow members in a very tragic way. They now stand outside the door, sun beats down upon them, soft breeze blows the ocean salt to their nostrils.

BRAD: As the party leaves in the door, framing them behind, Obi takes a knee. [somber, serene music] Scoops the dirt with his hand, kind of like runs it through his fingers, and licks it.

(IC, raspy) (disgusted) Ugh! Yeah I…I never really…Gorrkarraus doing that, yeah.

ARIEL (IC, British): A noble sacrifice, and he would want us to move on. Let's head towards the boat.

JOSHUA (IC, Scottish): May have been a filthy dirt eater, but, uh, but he did something. He sacrificed himself for us. Might as well make it count and get out of here.

BRAD (IC): Let's not let him down.

ZANE: As they're getting ready to leave, Amadeus just punches the wall, like, really hard, and just says,

[gentle guitar music]

(slightly British, IC) We're not gonna let his death be in vain. He was part of us. We make sure every person knows that he, that Gorrkarraus, was with us. That his fear that he brings is still with us.

BRAD: Obi pulls out his crossbow, turns to the party, heads down the hill.

ARIEL: As Rosara follows, she'll turn to Gritzern, and ask,

(IC) Your arm, how is it? How has it healed?

RUSSELL (Gritzern, authoritative): My arm… (sadly) They're all talking about him like he's already dead, but he's not. You know what comes next, or maybe you don't.

ARIEL (IC): Well, if you want to be so hopeful, perhaps the door will open for him.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): (scoffs)

ARIEL: Uh, heading…heading down to the beach, through this jungle.

RUSSELL: As you approach ship, emerging from the jungle, [ocean waves] on the shore, waves washing over it, in almost a relaxing way, calm. In the distance, you hear a bird chirp. You get ahold of the vessel. Sits in front of you, and it becomes immediately apparent that it's an absolute wreck.

BRAD (IC): (disappointed sigh)

RUSSELL: After scanning it, it's pretty obvious to Obi and Vano that it could be seaworthy, but it will take some work.

BRAD (IC): Vano, you and I, we live on these waters. What do you think? Can we…can we salvage it?

JOSHUA (IC): Been a few years since I've worked on a ship. I think I remember how to get it done.

ARIEL: Rosara looks over at Amadeus.

(IC) (doubtful) No spells of mending on you, Lord Amadeus?

ZANE: Amadeus just doesn't listen and walks into the boat.

BRAD: Can I roll an Investigation check to ascertain the key points that need to be fixed? Like…

JOSHUA: I want to help in that.

RUSSELL: I would say you don't need an Investigation check? Uh, you have experience with this, and you just know by looking at it, and that is that, uh…the main problem seems to be that, um, the mast is cracked and needs to be shorn up. Pretty much anything else is, like, there's, like, tackles that are out of place, some things that are like bent or broken, a lot of cosmetic damage, but it seems like the only, like, important thing that needs to be attended to is the mast; It needs to be reinforced.

JOSHUA: Okay, reinforce the mast, and it will be seaworthy.

RUSSELL: Which takes some lumber.

BRAD (IC): Vano?

JOSHUA (IC): Yup.

BRAD (IC): Let's fell a nearby tree, brace it, and we'll…we'll tie it up.

JOSHUA (IC): You get working on making sure that the lines are all straight. I'll go cut a tree.

BRAD (IC): I've always been good with knots. [metal sliding and clicking] Let's do this.

(OOC) Obi, um, makes his way up the gangplank and onto the top of the ship, [sharp metal scraping] and starts jerry-rigging everything, and everything that needs to be steadfast. Double time.

JOSHUA: Meantime, Vano pulls out his halberd, goes to the closest large-enough tree that he can actually get some solid lumber out of it.

ARIEL: Uh, Rosara will follow after Vano to help him with the tree, to, like, perhaps, help him lift it.

RUSSELL: As you inspect the tree, it becomes obvious that this tree is much too large. You need a younger sapling. Like, you're…you're not looking to add too much bulk to the mast, just something that can reinforce it, unless you want to make boards. You want to find something younger. You do remember that, on the slopes, a little further in, you did see some younger trees that were pretty healthy.

BRAD: Obi just looks over the side of the deck, uh, clocks that both Vano and Rosara are heading further into the tree line. That wasn't what he thought was gonna happen, but he makes a mental note of it, and tells Amadeus that they have gone further inland, and to be on guard.

RUSSELL: Vano and Rosara are swallowed by the jungle, and disappear from your view. [crunching footsteps] As the two of you make your way into the jungle, into the roots of the mountain, you quickly find a sapling that is accommodating, and begin to fell it. As you are felling the sapling, you hear a voice. The voice of Lord Amadeus.

(Amadeus) (concerned) Rosara! Rosara! Come quickly!

ARIEL (IC): (exasperated) What? Lord Amadeus, why aren't you back at the ship?

RUSSELL (Amadeus): (stammers) Obi's fallen off the mast! He's hurt himself! He needs you to heal him.

JOSHUA: What direction is this voice coming from?

RUSSELL: From the shore.

ARIEL: I look at Vano.

(IC) It seems like you're almost done with the sapling, I can go tend to, uh, tend to our little one.

JOSHUA (IC): (wryly) We wouldn't want the wee one to hurt himself, now would we?

ARIEL (IC): (scoffs) I'll see you over at the ship.

(OOC) And, uh, Rosara will, like, turn with her halberd that she was using to help with the tree and, like, head towards the shore.

RUSSELL: As you head towards the shore, you see no evidence of the others. [soft, slow music] Lord Amadeus and Obi see Rosara burst through the trees, standing on the shore.

BRAD: Obi stops knotting up, looks over, stands up, pulls his crossbow out.

(IC) (confused) Rosara? What's up?

ARIEL (IC): (annoyed) You look rather good for someone who just fell off a mast! Lord Amadeus, what was that about?

ZANE (IC): Sorry, what?

BRAD: I look down, confused.

ZANE (IC): (slightly concerned) He's…he's been up there the whole time. What are you talking about?

ARIEL (IC): (annoyed) I heard your voice, Amadeus, saying that Obi fell off, that he needed…he…ugh. I'll head back to him.

ZANE (IC): (concerned) Was it my voice you heard, or was it someone else's? Was it the forest messing with you?

ARIEL (IC): (annoyed) Ugh, it was your voice!

BRAD (IC): (seriously) We've experienced this before.

ZANE (IC): (urgently) A voice that sounded like this?

ARIEL (IC): (annoyed) Yes! Yes, it was your voice that sounded like this, saying that Obi needed… (urgently) There's been a trick.

ZANE: Amadeus is gonna rush off of the ship, onto the beach, uh, books still in his holster, and, uh, just sprinting through the forest.

ARIEL: Yeah, Rosara, uh, trying to run back to where Vano is.

BRAD (IC): Do you need me to come with you, or shall I secure the ship?

ZANE (IC): Stay, secure the ship, shoot anything that comes out that is not me, Vano, or Rosara.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): Hey! What about me?

(OOC) Gritzern yells from the…leaning against the side of the ship.

ZANE (IC): (deadpan) Shoot him a few times, Rosara'll bring him back. Don't worry.

(OOC) Just keep sprinting.

BRAD (IC): Gritzern, just get below deck. You're no use to us right now with that…injury.

[tense music]

RUSSELL (Gritzern): I…I… (sighs) Fine.

BRAD: Obi is gonna set up sentry on top of the crow's nest, um, sniper style.

RUSSELL: Lord Amadeus and Rosara plunge into the forest, and I'm gonna jump to, uh, Joshua. So if you two wanna…so hit it. As Vano is chopping at this tree, you hear footsteps behind you.

JOSHUA: Uh, mid-swing, I turn around, ready to swing at whoever's making the footsteps.

RUSSELL: You see Gritzern standing there, uh, glaring at you, arms crossed.

JOSHUA: I swing at Gritzern.

RUSSELL: Roll initiative.

JOSHUA: I don't think this is Gritzern. Largely because you just said “arms crossed.”

[blade swinging, clang]

RUSSELL: Alright.

JOSHUA: Wow, that's some bullshit. 12.

RUSSELL: 12?

JOSHUA: (laughs) Yeah.

RUSSELL: 18. Gritzern dances, uh, back from your swing, cursing.

(Gritzern): Shit!

(high-pitched, cracked) I knew that wasn't a good call! [cracking, squelching] Oh well.

(OOC) Gritzern begins, uh, to, uh, face begins to morph, and twist, and contort.

(monster) Ah, well, I suppose the element of surprise isn't going to do it.

(OOC) And Gritzern begins to shrink and contort even more.

[whooshing]

(monster) (grunting) Alright, I suppose any time now.

(OOC) You suddenly feel an oppressive heat behind you.

JOSHUA: An oppressive heat behind me, I feel, is a bad thing, so I am going to…Vano follows the first swing up by a second, a charging second swing into Gritzern in an attempt to get past him, or knock him out of the way.

RUSSELL: Alright, so you're making the second attack at Gritzern?

JOSHUA: Yeah, in an attempt to get away from the big heat thing that's behind me. I'm trying to go through Gritzern.

RUSSELL: Fair enough. Roll attack.

JOSHUA: (laughs) I crit!

RUSSELL: Oh, you crit!

JOSHUA 26! (laughs)

RUSSELL: Damn…26. Alright, roll for damage.

JOSHUA: Uh, 14 damage.

RUSSELL:  As you, uh, swing your halberd towards the morphing, contorting, shrinking Gritzern, it, uh, it dances back, bit further, but not enough, [swinging, impact] and it throws its face up and hisses at you.

(monster) (hisses)

(OOC) And in defense, and your halberd narrowly misses its face, [wet crackling] leaving a light scoring above its eyes, and three fingers drop to the ground. Fingers, as they drop to the ground, bend, contort, and twist, and turn into some reptilian-looking scale thing. The creature, uh, turns on its heel and runs into the jungle. As you are moving forward, it triggers an attack of opportunity.

[blade swinging, impact]

JOSHUA: Nice.

RUSSELL: As you step forward, you feel searing heat on your shoulders, as two large, claw-like hands slam…cramp down… [tense, eerie music] clamp down on your shoulders, pinning your arms to your side. You are grappled.

JOSHUA: Can I run out of it, or am I…I'm stuck here. Yeah, that's why I thought. So, yeah, my…my choices are try to attack it while it's behind me, holding my arms in place, or try to break out. Only a 17.

RUSSELL: You're able to pull one arm loose and start to get free, you now have freedom to turn around and look at this creature, if you want, or try to push further forward.

JOSHUA: Can I use my halberd to hit it? The hand that's holding my other shoulder?

RUSSELL: Uh, sure.

JOSHUA: I still have the use of that hand, just not full use of the arm and stuff, but I can use the hand to hold the halberd and slice stuff up.

RUSSELL: Okay, make an attack roll.

JOSHUA: I'm just trying to get it to let go, basically. Okay, that's an 18 to hit.

RUSSELL: 18 to hit, an 18 does hit. Roll damage.

JOSHUA: Okay. And that's 14 damage [swinging, impact] to its arm. Slashing damage, if it makes a difference.

RUSSELL: Alright, your halberd buries into its arm, and you blink, not as far as you think, only a fraction of the blade seems to break the surface of…you're not sure what. You see a black, coalescing shape, framed by an orange, blinking shadow. And then, as your eyes follow up the arm to an empty face, you see another hand [loud whoosh, heavy impact] swing towards you. Make a Constitution check.

JOSHUA: Ooh. 6.

[music fades]

RUSSELL: A fist slams into your face like an anvil. The world swirls around you and goes black. You're unconscious. Lord Amadeus, Ariel, as you burst through the jungle, back to the clearing where Vano was before, you see dirt and dust cast all about, some plants, uh, broken as if people were thrashing about, swinging weapons. Some broken branches lie on the ground, as does two other things, you notice, at a glance. A small pool of black blood, and next to it lie three reptilian-looking fingers with claws on the end, and then next to them, on the ground, unconscious, Vano.

ARIEL (IC): (concerned) Vano!

(OOC) Um, Rosara will rush over to Vano, um, check to make sure he's breathing, just unconscious?

RUSSELL: He's breathing. He does not…also does not appear particularly badly hurt, just unconscious.

ARIEL: Lightly try to, kind of like, move his face a little bit, see if that wakes him up.

RUSSELL: Vano, uh, you blink, and then you realize, uh, Rosara is stooped over you, your face in her hands.

ARIEL (IC): Vano, can you hear me? Can you see me?

JOSHUA (IC): Is that actually you?

ARIEL (IC): Uh, What- Yes, yes, it's me, Rosara, what…? Here, let me sit you up.

(OOC) And I, uh, help sit him up.

JOSHUA: Uh, as she does so, I put my…I put my hand next to her face where my hidden blade is underneath, and I just place it there.

(IC) Then tell me something that only you would know.

ARIEL (IC): (urgently) We left Gorrkarraus to die inside that cave.

JOSHUA (IC): Alright, it's you.

ARIEL (IC): Another imposter?

JOSHUA (IC): Oh yeah. Gritzern, this time. He forgot the arm.

ARIEL (IC): We need to get that tree over to the ship as soon as possible and get out of here.

JOSHUA (IC): I agree, but where did the giant hulking thing of heat go? Did you see that?

ARIEL (IC): No, Amadeus and I ran from the ship, and haven't seen anything like that.

ZANE (IC): Also, I've been on the ship the whole time, so if I saw a giant ball of heat, I would have…I would have found it. Did not see one.

JOSHUA (IC): Alright. Well then, let's go before it comes back. [rustling] Knocked me flat with a single punch.

ZANE (IC): I'm pretty sure that was probably the forest.

JOSHUA: Yeah, I grab the tree, and I hoist it onto my shoulders.

ARIEL: Rosara will try to take some of the weight, um, so that we can, like, just run with this tree between us.

RUSSELL: It's not particularly heavy, it's only probably…

ARIEL: A sapling? So…Okay.

RUSSELL: Yeah. Eight or nine inches around.

ARIEL (IC): Run through, be on the lookout for voices. If we hear Obi, double check that it's Obi.

ZANE (IC): Obi's on the ship, don't worry. If you hear Obi, and it sounds like he's near, that's not him.

JOSHUA (IC): (jokingly) That's what we think!

RUSSELL: Obi, from your position on the ship, looking out at the jungle, you hear a commotion, foliage being thrashed and smashed about, and then, running from the jungle, uh, you see a tree with Vano on the front, holding the front end, and Rosara flailing behind him [crossbow loading] and Lord Amadeus tailing on. Burst out onto the beach.

BRAD: I take aim with my crossbow.

ZANE (IC): Woah, it's us! It's us!

ARIEL (IC): We're not imposters!

BRAD (IC): You three stay right there.

RUSSELL: Gritzern's head pops up, uh, from below…below deck.

(Gritzern) (mockingly) "It's us, it's us," That's…that's the best you can do? And you call yourself a scholar. Like, really? Like…like…As a matter of fact, I'm convinced it is you, because anybody else who is trying to fool us would be smart enough…smart enough to not be so stupid as just say "it's us." Literally anyone could say "it's us."

ZANE (IC): Gritzern, you shut your-

JOSHUA (IC): Gritzern, you just…you just proved her point, A, and B, shut the fuck up.

ZANE: Swear to god, Gritzern, you open your mouth one more time, I will cut the other arm off, make you eat it, and I'll punch you in the fucking face again.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): (laughing) Well, Obi, are you convinced it's them?

BRAD (IC): I've got this, I have a solution.

(OOC) And you watch as Obi acrobatically flings out of the crow's nest, and almost spirals down, lands on the floor, um, makes his way down to the ground, where Gritzern and the…the other people are. Um, roughly how far away are all the…the three that're approaching the boat?

RUSSELL: They're on the edge of the jungle, they just burst out of it onto the beach.

BRAD: Obi stands next to Gritzern and looks at him.

RUSSELL: Gritzern looks up at him, head peeking just up from below deck, over the edge, peering.

BRAD (IC): I have a question that, uh, only they would know. And I know that you can be trusted because we were part of it. You three, how many coins did Gritzern pay me to pull the lever?

ZANE (IC): (smiling) Three silver and a copper.

(Joshua and Ariel laugh)

BRAD (IC): It's them.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): Nobody paid me for this.

(OOC) Gritzern says, raising his stump.

(Gritzern) I think you all owe me at least a drink.

ZANE (IC): Then shut your fucking mouth.

JOSHUA (IC): The two of you, shut up! You too, Lord Amadeus. You, shush. Let's go.

ZANE (IC): (exasperated) I'm already going to the boat! I got stopped by a guy with a crossbow!

ARIEL: Trudge on up with that tree.

JOSHUA: Just run straight up to the boat, pole vault style stick the front in and push it up, and then run up it and pull it up onto the ship.

[jaunty music]

RUSSELL: Rosara, as you two are dashing forward towards the ship, a strike of brilliance dawns upon Vano, which they fail to communicate to you, and so you see him just lunge forward, planting the end of the trunk of the tree…

ARIEL (IC): Ah, Vano, wait!

RUSSELL: …into the ground, which proceeds to launch you into the air.

BRAD: Obi tries to catch her.

(Ariel laughs)

ZANE: Amadeus just gets out of the way, just like…like leans up against the wall. {leans back and crosses arms}

ARIEL: (laughing) Where do I fall? Do I fall up in the nest?

JOSHUA: I really want you to just fall beautifully on your…on your butt on the ship. It'd be so good!

BRAD: I…I'm getting ready to catch her, so.

RUSSELL: Rosara, make a Strength check to either hang on to the trunk of the tree while you are launched into the air, or an Athletics check to let go and land gracefully, or not.

ARIEL: You know what, it's even. Um, yeah, I think Rosara is taken so off guard that she only knows to, like, hold on, and she's just saying,

(IC) Vano, wait!

(OOC) And she rolls…a natural 20.

(Brad, Ariel, and Joshua laugh)

RUSSELL: Alright, natural 20. As Vano plants the end of the tree into the ground, plowing up earth, it strikes a rock, swinging Rosara up into the air. {Brad mimes trying to catch Rosara} As you clasp onto it, it reaches its apex, stands up on end for a moment, and then begins to tip forward, and then falls, and Rosara, dangling from it, then lands, boots planted firmly, you are now standing on the deck.

ARIEL (IC): (pants with relief) (angrily) Vano!

BRAD (IC): Don't act like you...

JOSHUA (IC): What? It worked, didn't it?

BRAD: Don't act like you meant to do that. That was fucking impressive, though.

ARIEL (IC): (concerned noises)

JOSHUA (IC): Of course I did, Obi. Of course I did.

ZANE (IC): Oh, come on, we saw you trip over your own feet.

JOSHUA: No, I meant to stick it in the ground.

ARIEL (IC): (catching her breath) Lash that darn tree to the mast, now!

BRAD (IC): On it.

ZANE (IC): (deadpan) You're at the top, so you should probably do the same thing.

ARIEL: Uh, yeah.

JOSHUA (IC): (exasperated) Alright, let's go, let's go.

ARIEL: Yeah, Rosara will try to just like reach out to grab the tree, like, shaking her head.

BRAD: Obi gestures towards the floor, where he's already prepared, um, some of the…the iron hooks that you normally use to, um, fasten the ship when it ports, and, like, you connect the lines to the thing. He's, like, made those, like almost like climbers' rubber bands to, like, act as a bracer for when this tree eventually showed up. He'd already, like, jerry-rigged some stuff in his tinkering ways, ready to go, so.

JOSHUA: Vano climbs up onto the ship as well, helps hoist the tree into place.

RUSSELL: You are able to successfully lash it to the mast, uneventfully, [soft, jaunty music] other than the spicy conversation and banter that arises due to recent events that transpired, and how people are still feeling about them. Once it is fully lashed to the mast, everything is shipshape, you are now ready to set out to sea.

BRAD (IC): Vano. It's just, uh, us and Gritzern, right?

JOSHUA (IC): Well, that's a thought.

BRAD (IC): We should probably sweep the ship.

JOSHUA (IC): That's a good idea, that.

BRAD (IC): Rosara, take point with Vano, I'm gonna go back up high.

ARIEL (IC): (sighs) Alright, as long as he doesn't try to toss me up in the air again.

BRAD (IC): Amadeus, you good to take lower deck with Gritzern?

ZANE (IC): No. Not going anywhere with that fucking idiot.

BRAD (IC): (annoyed) God damn it! Can you just, for once in your life, can you be useful, please?

JOSHUA (IC): Get over your petty squabbles and go.

ZANE (IC): Oh, fuck off.

(OOC) And Amadeus is just gonna make his way down.

BRAD (IC): See? At least he did it.

(OOC) Obi goes back up into the crow's nest.

[wood creaking]

JOSHUA: Vano and Rosara, I presume, head down to check the decks.

ARIEL (IC): I'm waiting for an apology.

JOSHUA (IC): It worked, you're fine.

ARIEL (IC): But what if I wasn't! I'm in armor. What if I fell in the water?

JOSHUA (IC): (dismissively) I could swim, I'd've got you, you're fine. Let's go!

ARIEL (IC): Hm, fine.

(OOC) And, uh, sweeping around, Rosara takes a look around for any crates people could be hiding in, or, like…

JOSHUA: Barrels.

ARIEL: Listening for things.

BRAD: Doppelgangers.

JOSHUA: Yeah, doppelgangers, barrels, etc.

ARIEL: Another Rosara?

JOSHUA: (laughs) If Obi or Gritzern or…anyone other than Rosara and I show their faces down here, probably gonna swing at 'em.

RUSSELL: Your sweep of the ship is largely uneventful, however, two things of note do transpire. The first is that when Rosara pries open a particularly large crate, a rat, a small lizard scurry out of it across the deck. And the second is that Vano finds nestled in a large spool of tackle, a family of bunnies.

JOSHUA: Vano grabs two bunnies.

ARIEL (IC): (exasperated) Are you gonna kill them in front of me?

JOSHUA (IC): (disgusted) Well…I…I was, but, uh, I could wait!

ARIEL (IC): Okay, okay, just, um…

JOSHUA: As you're…

ARIEL: Rosara will, like, turn her head away and close her eyes.

JOSHUA: As he's just like, okay, Vano just smashes their heads together and breaks their skulls.

(Brad laughs)

ZANE: Can we say Amadeus turns…rounds the corner as this happens?

RUSSELL: I wanted us to have a collective, wholesome little happy family bunny moment, and instead, Vano is just smashing their skulls together, like some kind of barbarian savage.

ARIEL: We're…we're hungry!

JOSHUA: Free rations, and…

BRAD: It has been a while since we've had a decent meal, to be fair.

JOSHUA: Yeah, yeah, rabbit stew is amazing!

RUSSELL: I'm never giving you bunnies again.

ZANE: Lord Amadeus rounds the corner as this happens, and he just sees…mid-freaking, swinging, right mid-smash, (Brad squeaks) just goes,

(IC) (shocked) What the hell, Vano?

JOSHUA: I just turn around with a smile.

(IC) Dinner!

ZANE (IC): Alright.

ARIEL (IC): (disgusted) Oh, put them away, put them away!

ZANE (IC): Alright, uh, you need a fire? I can make a fire.

JOSHUA (IC): Well, let's get off the land first, but then, yes!

RUSSELL (Gritzern): Off the land?

(OOC) Gritzern says, coming up behind you.

(Gritzern) I definitely don't trust you to start a fire!

JOSHUA (IC): Well, better that than stick around till dark on this particular spot.

ZANE (IC): You want to go back out there and meet the skeletons that are on the ship…on the boat…on the beach? At night, by yourself?

ARIEL (IC): (wryly) I'm sure they would love some rabbit!

JOSHUA: Vano, very confused why everyone is upset about this, just kind of sticks the…sticks the…the rabbit ears in his belt, and, as a way to hold it, and then just kind of walks through everybody to get back up on top, and push off.

ARIEL (IC): Luckily, did a sweep of the ship, didn't need to find anything…or haven't found anything, um, dangerous, other than those ferocious bunnies.

JOSHUA: Very dangerous bunnies.

ARIEL: Uh, walking up to Amadeus, Rosara will just kind of like, offhandedly say, like,

(IC) I never thought I would miss whole foods so much.

ZANE (IC): I never thought I would miss food. Look where we are. Starving, thirsty, and one of us is dead, so…

ARIEL (IC): My father will have a stroke once he finds out I'm eating raw rabbit.

ZANE (IC): That's debating if your father's even still alive, depending on what we're tasked to do. We have a title on our heads. Makes our families and our loved ones a target.

ARIEL (IC): (softly) He'll be fine.

(OOC) And, like, Rosara will, like, kind of brush away, and, uh, I guess like walk over to the side of the ship, try to see what other things she could do to, like, get this up and running.

JOSHUA: Vano just is raising [chain clinking] the anchor when you come up from the ship, or under the deck.

BRAD: Obi shouts down, seeing them emerge.

(IC) We're good then, yeah?

JOSHUA (IC): As far as we could see, yeah.

ZANE (IC): Ready when you are, Captain.

BRAD: Obi looks down from the crow's nest and sees the rest of the party coming back up to the…the ship, uh, top of the ship.

(IC) Vano, uh, Rosara, we're good, yeah? We're clear?

JOSHUA (IC): Yep.

ARIEL (IC): It's clean!

JOSHUA (IC): We didn't find anything but this delicious dinner.

ARIEL (IC): (disgusted) Oh god.

BRAD (IC): What have you got there?

ARIEL (IC): (exasperated) It's rabbits.

JOSHUA (IC): (excited) It's rabbit!

BRAD (IC): (excited) No way.

JOSHUA (IC): Yeah!

BRAD (IC): Are you…You absolute legend!

JOSHUA (IC): I know, right?

BRAD (IC): Nice! You much of a chef?

JOSHUA (IC): I mean, not really, but then again, it's rabbit!

BRAD (IC): It's rabbit! It's rabbit! That's nice! Okay, so um…anyone here got any experience in sailing? I know, Vano, you do, but Rosara, Amadeus, can you help?

ZANE (IC): (snarkily) I spent most of my time being served my food. You really think I'm going to be able to sail a ship?

BRAD (IC): Okay, let me rephrase: Are you going to help, or are you going to be utterly useless?

ARIEL (IC): What do you need from us, Obi?

ZANE (IC): I'm going to go cook the food, you intolerant little…

BRAD (IC): You're going to be the…the ship chef.

ZANE (IC): Sure. I can create fire, so…

RUSSELL (Gritzern): Even with one arm,

(OOC) Says Gritzern,

(Gritzern) I'm not letting that fop touch my food. You know how bad he'll butcher it? Give it to me. I'll fix it.

ZANE (IC): Then you'll starve, Gritzern, if you do not eat the food. It's food. I'm not gonna poison it, I'm not gonna do anything bad.

JOSHUA: I throw the rabbits at Gritzern.

RUSSELL: Uh, he catches them with one arm.

ZANE: (disbelief) Both of them?

RUSSELL: Deftly. And then…

JOSHUA: (laughing) Both of them?

RUSSELL: Yes.

JOSHUA: With one arm? Impressive.

RUSSELL: Catches both of them, and then waves them at Lord Amadeus.

(Gritzern) I bet you probably haven't cooked a food…a meal for yourself in your life. I wouldn't trust you to boil my own boots.

ZANE (IC): You underestimate the man that I became. Just because I'm a lord doesn't mean I know how to not…doesn't mean I don't know how to cook my own damn food.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): (amused) Doesn't mean you know how to construct a sentence! What do they teach you lordlings where you come from?

JOSHUA: Vano walks in between the two of you as you're having this discussion, and whispers, as he passes over, to Gritzern.

(IC) I'm not the biggest fan of you, but that's why I gave you the rabbit.

(OOC) (laughs)

ZANE (IC): I heard that!

JOSHUA: And then just carries over to the anchor to start raising it.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): You'll appreciate that.

(OOC) He says to you. And then he shoots to Lord Amadeus,

(IC) You're doing the dishes!

BRAD (IC): (conciliatory) There's not a lot of us, and this is a big ship. We're gonna have to work together. First, we need a heading. Gritzern, where are we going?

RUSSELL: Gritzern says nothing, because he is now below deck.

ZANE (IC): Um, I believe we go northwest.

ARIEL (IC): Why?

JOSHAU (IC): Faltus is where my journey started. I think heading back that direction makes sense.

ZANE (IC): (quickly) We're not going to go to Faltus.

JOSHUA: Well, I'm not going south with Oaknesh to the south. Those pirates are ruthless.

ZANE (IC): Yes, but I would recommend we not go to Faltus.

JOSHUA (IC): I just said north in that direction.

BRAD (IC): Am I under the understanding that we have no joint destination, right?

JOSHUA (IC): As far as I'm aware, yeah.

ARIEL (IC): Our employer is going to be upset at what's transpired here on this island, uh, let's just head to the safest shore, the nearest here?

BRAD (IC): Somebody go get Gritzern, please.

ARIEL (IC): (sighs with annoyance) Fine.

(OOC) And Rosara will head down to Gritzern.

(IC) Well, our employer isn't going to be happy about what's transpired here, and we need to get as far away from here before it hits nightfall. So, I say we sail this ship along the coast, and maybe try to find a safe harbor, wherever that could be.

BRAD (IC): Resupply, restock, yeah? That's actually not a bad idea.

JOSHUA (IC): Absolutely.

BRAD (IC): This is a big ship, right? It's not a lot of us. This is gonna go really bad, unless we play to our strengths, right? Now, Vano you take the helm, Rosara, you're on the lines for the sails. I'll navigate from the up top. Amadeus, please be useful.

ZANE (IC): Will do.

BRAD (IC): Now, let's address the elephant in the room. We need to check our provisions, food, water, basic supplies. We don't know how long we're gonna be at sea for, right? What are…Let's take inventory. When you were looking downstairs, what was the situation? What have we got?

JOSHUA (IC): Uh, there's a rat, a lizard, and a couple of baby rabbits I haven't killed yet.

ARIEL (IC): It's raining right now, so perhaps we could collect some rainwater.

JOSHUA (IC): It won't take us more than a few days to get to a port, though.

BRAD: DM, when they were searching below ship, were they able to ascertain in the time that they were looking that there were sufficient provisions for an extended trip at sea?

RUSSELL: Well, I was going to help them out and tell if they asked, but since they played that so beautifully, I'm gonna say they have no fucking idea because they weren't paying attention.

BRAD (IC): I sent you down, below deck, to scout the ship…

ARIEL (IC): You sent us down below deck to make sure there was no one here trying to kill us, and we did that!

BRAD (IC): It was implied to do a sweep. That's what a sweep is. Have you never been at sea before?

ARIEL (IC): (ridiculing) I…I…What? No!

BRAD (IC): Oh, god help us. Right.

ARIEL (IC): I…I went…I was on a ship to get to here! From Nov Romara!

BRAD (IC): You mean, daddy put you on a ship for a little holiday.

ARIEL (IC): My father did nothing for me. I'm gonna make that very clear.

ZANE (IC): Why don't we sail to the nearest city or town or whatever we find on this shoreline, and stop there for some supplies. Let's say, we don't find something in three days, we get off the ship, and we walk.

BRAD: Obi looks down at his, like, little…little belly.

(IC) Three days? There's not much of me as it is! (laughing) I'll die in three days!

ARIEL (IC): Well, we'll be on the ocean, so can't…can't we fish? That's a thing that sailors do?

BRAD (IC): I mean, that's not a terrible idea.

JOSHUA (IC): Aye, if we've got the supplies for it.

ZANE (IC): Well, all we need really is…all we really need is a stick and a string, and…

JOSHUA (IC): In the meantime, we know for a fact we're all gonna die if we stay here.

BRAD (IC): Oh yeah, we can't stay here another night.

ZANE (IC): Figure out the destination as we go?

BRAD (IC): Alright.

JOSHUA (IC): Let's just head north. That's for now.

BRAD (IC): Vano, you…you have the helm. Rosara, you're on sails. I'll plot a course, best I can. I'll look out for rocks, hazards, that kind of thing.

[sail flapping]

[soft, jaunty music]

RUSSELL: As you all scramble into position and navigate the ship out to sea, uh, the shore begins to slowly fade from your view, falling behind you, now that long last you left this cursed beach in infamy. Gritzern's head pops up from below deck.

(Gritzern) I'm not carrying the pot up! Someone else will have to. I… {holds up arm, and then an elbow, mimicking an amputated arm} Well, I think you can deduce why.

ARIEL: I'll…I'll go ahead and let go of like, uh, the lines, or like, I don't know, Rosara's gonna like try to tie the lines to something to keep them where they are, and then head down to go help with the, uh, the rabbit pot.

BRAD (IC): Our heading's true as long as the sails are tied at 30 degrees northeast. Yeah, we should be fine. Vano, keep the helm straight.

ZANE (IC): 30 degrees northeast, got it.

(IC) (grunts with exertion)

(OOC) Amadeus is going to help with the sails.

ARIEL: Alright, so I guess with Gritzern in toe, Rosara comes up with the pot of rabbit stew.

RUSSELL: Yup.

ARIEL: Where is the sun in the sky right now?

RUSSELL: It is approaching its apex.

BRAD: Midday.

ARIEL (IC): Alright, everyone, dig in our first good meal in a few days, now.

BRAD: You hear a thud from…as Obi launches from the crow's nest in his trademark style.

ARIEL (IC): (exasperated) My gods.

ZANE: Superhero three-point landing?

BRAD: Pretty much, yeah, superhero landing, um, way more stylish than it actually needed to be. He's all about that flair. Um, like, walks up…trots up, you hear his armor clanking, and, like, the crossbow over his shoulder, just jangling from side to side. Puts it down, like, sits there cross-legged all joyful and childish, starts rocking back and forth, like,

(IC) Alright. Let's…do what we're doing.

ARIEL: Rosara gives him a bowl of the food, obviously 'cause he's so excited for it, and just starts serving everyone.

RUSSELL: The smell wafts over your nostrils, it has a thick pungent smell, heavy with spices.

BRAD (IC): I…I must say, uh, you knocked this one out the park, Gritzern, this is, uh, it's not bad.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): Taste it.

JOSHUA (IC): Maybe a bit of a prick, but that's a decent rabbit.

ARIEL (IC): Let's not give him too much credit, our standards are low right now.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): Well, taste it, then give me your opinion.

ARIEL: Okay, that's fair.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): I think even the lordling will find that it is…Well, perhaps he doesn't deserve to taste my dish.

BRAD: You look at Obi, and this is probably the first time since you guys have really had a chance to look him over, and he's…he seems in his element at sea. He has a calmness to him you've not seen. His brashness and his kind of like foolhardiness subsides, on the waves. But there's an element of tenseness to him, he…he's very hesitant to taste the stew straight away. He sniffs it and looks it over, gingerly tries some before his demeanor changes and immediately just goes to town on it. Just completely goes in, head-first, almost like disturbingly, sloppily goes into it. Has no table manners whatsoever.

RUSSELL: As you shovel the first bite into your face, roll a d4.

BRAD: 2!

RUSSELL: The spices hit you, making you become more alert, you hear…feel rejuvenation run through your body. Temporarily, for the next 24 hours, your passive perception is raised by 2.

ARIEL: (surprised) Oh shit!

BRAD: Okay, I'm a bit of a perceptive beast now. I already had a passive of 15, so, nice! I'll take it. Cheers, DM.

ZANE: Amadeus is going to take a little spoonful.

ARIEL: Same with Rosara.

JOSHUA: And Vano just uses the bowl, to, like straight up eat out of the bowl.

RUSSELL: Alright everybody else roll with d4.

ZANE: 4.

ARIEL: 3.

JOSHUA: 3.

BRAD: (amused) Oh, come on. (laughs)

RUSSELL: Alright, add that to your passive perception temporarily for 24 hours. Since your passive perception is now 17, Obi, you notice, uh, Gritzern just slip under his tunic a small, purple vial.

BRAD: Alright. Um, I don't mention it, but I clock it.

ZANE: Mine's a 17 now. Do I see this?

RUSSELL: Uh, yes.

JOSHUA: And I have a 15.

RUSSELL: Nah, he's pretty sneaky. You don’t clock it.

JOSHUA: (giggles)

ARIEL: Have you cooked like this for adventurers before, Gritzern?

[soft music]

RUSSELL (Gritzern): I haven't…cooked like this for a very long time, I…In…When I was very young, I wanted to…well, never mind… (mumbles)

ARIEL (IC): No, no, what…When you were young, you wanted to cook?

RUSSELL (Gritzern): I actually was training to be a chef.

BRAD: Insight check.

JOSHUA: As he says that and you're doing the Insight check, from the sterncastle, as I just bowl a mouthful of stew into my face,

(IC) (yelling over) It's not bad!

BRAD: 24.

RUSSELL: This is the most sincere you've ever seen him written on his face.

BRAD (IC): You cook with, uh…purple spices, do you?

ARIEL (IC): Purple spices?

(OOC) Rosara's looking closer…closer at the rabbit.

BRAD (IC): (suspiciously) What kind of flavoring you got there, Gritzern?

RUSSELL: One of his eyebrows pops up when you mention that.

BRAD: Yeah.

RUSSELL: And his hand goes into his jacket.

BRAD (IC): What type of flavors you, uh, you got there?

RUSSELL (Gritzern): I wouldn't really call it a flavor,

(OOC) He says, pulling it out.

(Gritzern) But it is useful.

BRAD (IC): Indulge me.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): I just use it sometimes to give myself a little bit of a boost. But considering the circumstances and how useless I am right now, and that we're at sea, and I don't really know what I'm looking for, and that I really don't want to drown, I figured an occasion to, and don't fall off your stool here, but share.

BRAD (IC): Who's your supplier?

RUSSELL (Gritzern): (laughs lightly)

BRAD (IC): (near-threateningly) Oh, I'm being serious.

(OOC) And he puts the bowl down, and immediately becomes very serious.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): Maybe if we're ever in the area, I'll take you to purchase.

BRAD (IC): (unamused) Hm.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): I don't typically make introductions. I think you do know your way around that.

BRAD (IC): You could say that. Look, it's just us right now. Yeah, can't deny. I feel good after having this meal. So. I'll let this, uh, I'll let this one slide.

(OOC) And I turn and go back to my food.

ARIEL: Rosara is gonna like, uh, during that conversation, kind of like look over at the other two and mouth, like,

(IC) Were we just drugged?

JOSHUA: I'm on sterncastle, I didn't hear any of that.

ARIEL: Oh, then that's to, like, Amadeus.

(IC) Were we just drugged?

ZANE: Amadeus ain't listening, he's just shoveling the food into his face.

JOSHUA: (laughs)

ARIEL: And there'll be a little bit of hesitation before Rosara just like continues eating her food.

ZANE: Because the thing is he fully saw the purple vial. He doesn't give a shit, it's food!

ARIEL (IC): It's odd to sit down calmly and have a meal with all of you. I think this might be one of the first since we've all met.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): (uncomfortably) Don't tell me this is the part where we all talk about our feelings or something, 'cause that's not going to happen.

ARIEL (IC): Absolutely not. (amused) If Gorrkarraus were here, he would be on the other side of the ship, as far away from all of us as possible, wolfing down this stew. He would have brought some dirt from the land to make sure he had some on the ship while we sailed.

RUSSELL (Gritzern): You know, I did wonder, and I don't know if any of the rest of you noticed it, but I…I did always think that when it was his turn to cook, it had rather an earthy, grainy texture. You don't think he would've…

ARIEL (IC): (disgusted) Oh. Oh my god.

ZANE (IC): (amused) You all found…Y'all just found out you ate dirt from Gorrkarraus, the man that literally shovels dirt into his face? You just found out?

JOSHUA: Vano still doesn't know.

ARIEL: (laughs)

ZANE (IC): Hey Vano!

JOSHUA (IC): Aye!

ZANE (IC): You ate dirt once with Gorrkarraus!

ARIEL: (laughs)

JOSHUA (IC): That son of a bitch!

ARIEL (IC): (softly) At least his room has dirt in it.

RUSSELL: Zane, as you are looking over the shoulders of your companions, out at sea, you notice, in the distance, with your now very high perception, a…a shadow underneath the water, very large, lazily moving in the direction of the ship at some distance away, probably a few hundred yards.

[tense, ominous music]

ZANE (IC): Everyone, that's concerning.

(OOC) And I point immediately to where the dark shadow is in the water.

ARIEL: And Rosara will stand up and say,

(IC) Can we…can we steer away?

ZANE (IC): I don't think so, I think…

(OOC) Is it coming right at us?

RUSSELL: Yes.

JOSHUA (IC): Obi!

BRAD (IC): Yeah.

JOSHUA (IC): Can you crawl up and get a better view?

BRAD (IC): (laughs) Crawl? (laughs)

(OOC) And he just literally, like Spider-Mans up to the crow's nest. Like, it's…it's like walking on the street for him, he's just like so dexterous. Yeah, he's up there in a couple seconds. Um, I'm at the top, um, I've got a vantage point, what do I see with a passive perception of 17?

RUSSELL: You look down at the water, and you can…you can't really make out the shape, it's not a clear, concise shape, but it appears to be a large creature beneath the surface, and now that it's approaching and you're focusing on it with vantage, you can see there is a disturbance on the surface of the water where it seems to be moving very quickly,  bearing down on the ship.

BRAD: Does it feel aggressive in any in any way, or does it just look interested in the ship, like the way a dolphin would swim alongside a ship, like, is…does it look aggressive, or does it look interested?

RUSSELL: You cannot tell.

BRAD: Okay. Uh, crossbow comes out.

RUSSELL: It is just a large shadow moving towards the ship, quickly.

BRAD (IC): Vano! Take evasive action! (laughs nervously)

JOSHUA: Alright!

[tense music]

(OOC) Helm hard over.

BRAD (IC): Rosara, brace the sails.

ARIEL (IC): Um, alright!

(OOC) And, uh, she, like, go…runs over to the…the ropes and, like, starts tugging on them.

JOSHUA: Helm hard over to port. Catches a little extra wind in the sail, speed us up, and gets us a little bit closer to land, in case this thing tries to sink us.

BRAD: I, like, hold on.

(IC) (groans with exertion)

(OOC) The mast is like "woah!" {mimes mast leaning} (laughs)

RUSSELL: You hear the creak of the wood, you see the sapling you have tied, uh, to the mast start to bend, the crack starts to deepen under the increased pressure of the sails, and a few splinters fly loose and bounce off the deck.

[wood creaking]

BRAD (IC): Amadeus, now is the time to make yourself useful! You got any of that…

ZANE (IC): I've been useful!

BRAD (IC): Got any of that sparkles to help?

ZANE (IC): Nope.

BRAD (IC): Oh no. At least brace the mast! Do something!

ZANE: And Amadeus is gonna, like, hold the mast. {mimes hugging the mast}

ARIEL: (laughs)

RUSSELL: You clutch the mast at the bottom where it is very solid as the bending part is 20 feet above you in the air.

ZANE: Amadeus is gonna attempt to keep, like, shimmying up the mast. Like, completely Mr. Bean style, like, trying to shimmy up the mast.

RUSSELL: As you shimmy up the mast, Obi, you see the creature is nearly on top of the ship now, and the water is churning around it.

BRAD: Uh, I'm gonna ready a crossbow bolt [wind whistling] in case it does anything aggressive, but I don't want to actively attack this thing unless I absolutely have to, because there are lots of sea creatures, and not all of them are aggressive. But I am holding an action in case it is aggressive.

RUSSELL: As you raise your crossbow bolt, the surface of the water explodes, spraying droplets into the air that catch the light and fall around all of you. An immense creature bursts from the surface of the water [water splashing] and spreads mammoth wings above you that look almost like a pattern, colorful of a butterfly, but also ribbed like a dragon's. It has a large, mammoth, bulbous head, shaped almost like a potato, with large flat eyes on either side, and antenna on top of it, and a long sinuous tail trailing behind. The creature flaps its wings, spraying droplets all over all of you, and an immense amount of wind that just buffets you about and tips the ship to one side over the additional air pressure, and it lets out a tremendous screech that hangs on the wind, but it is not an aggressive or hateful one, but simply the cry of a creature taking flight and freedom in the skies. [whooshing exhale] It beats its wings, raising higher, and droplets continue to fall upon you, and then it fades up into the sky above. A glimmer of colorful rainbow light.

BRAD: Obi looks at it as it passes by the sky, tracing it with the crossbow, and then puts it down, and calms everybody with his hands.

(IC) See? (laughs) It's a gamble, but it paid off. I want to applaud your, uh, responsiveness, guys. That's what we need. Good job, Vano, very cool. [tense music fades] (sighs in relief) Does anyone else has a…anything to say?

ARIEL (IC): I…I don't think I'm one for the sea.

ZANE (IC): Let's just keep going.

JOSHUA (IC): It was very pretty.

BRAD (IC): Yeah, um.

(OOC) Has Obi ever seen anything like this at sea before?

RUSSELL: You have not seen something at sea like this before, but you have heard of them. But you were under the impression they were extinct.

BRAD: Me personally?

RUSSELL: Yes.

BRAD: Okay.

RUSSELL: They are a sailor's legend.

JOSHUA: Vano would have heard of it too.

BRAD: Do we know it by name?

RUSSELL: It is called tickahrossy. And little to nothing is known about them, but a lot of mythology surrounds them.

BRAD (IC): (excitedly) Vano! The…the stories, yeah, of the…the winged rainbow?

JOSHUA (IC): Tiku…tick…tick…tick…

BRAD (IC): Tickahrossy.

JOSHUA (IC): A tick…tickasomething.

BRAD: Those, um, they're… (confused) they're extinct, yeah?

JOSHUA (IC): I didn't think those were real! I've never seen one. I don't know anyone who has!

BRAD: Where is it heading?

RUSSELL: It has flown up into the light of the sun, and you can no longer see it, 'cause if you look where it was, you'd be staring right at the sun.

BRAD (IC): I'm gonna take that as a good omen. I don't know about you guys, but we need a bit of luck.

ZANE (IC): What the hell was that, and why are you two somewhat…somewhat happy to see it?

BRAD (IC): We're still alive, aren't we?

ARIEL (IC): Uh, yes, I suppose that's lucky?

BRAD (IC): This…means something, surely.

ARIEL (IC): It means that we are exhausted beyond our ken! We should keep sailing.

BRAD (IC): (resigned) Sure.

(OOC) And Obi will just keep his childlike wonder to himself. And occasionally peer over his shoulders in case he can see it again.

ARIEL: Yeah, is the little rainbow…rainbow's still, like, above us, in the…

RUSSELL: It has begun to fade. It is gone.

JOSHUA: Vano does not steer the ship away from land. Keeps the helm a little bit closer that they've achieved now, the land, and follows the coast.

RUSSELL: As you follow the coast and the mountain that run…mountains that run alongside of it, and you approach closer, everyone all of a sudden feels a tug, and the ship rocks, slightly.

BRAD (IC): Woah. Vano, what was that? Rosara?

ARIEL (IC): I didn't see anything!

RUSSELL: Against the wind, the mast begins to tip toward the wind, and the bottom of the boat begins to pull inward towards the land.

ARIEL (IC): (nervously) Uh. Are we being sucked in? Is that what's happening?

JOSHUA: I am steering away from that.

BRAD (IC): Rosara. Unfurl the extra sails. We need more power.

ARIEL (IC): (uncertain) Uh, aye-aye!

(OOC) And, uh, she, uh,

BRAD (IC): It's the…it's the rope to the right!

ARIEL (IC): Okay, I…

(OOC) And she just tugs on it, to, like, get it loose.

BRAD (IC): Amadeus, look over the side, tell me what you see.

ZANE: Amadeus walks over to the other side and looks over. What do I see?

RUSSELL: As you peer out, you see in the distance, far away, a blot on the ocean. You blink, you can't quite clearly make it out at the great…at a distance, but it seems like you're looking at a patch of ocean, a very small one, or perhaps large, at the distance, you can't tell, that…where the water just isn't there.

ZANE (IC): Whatever's over there, I suggest we not go and find out. Let's leave. As much as we can, please.

[tense music]

JOSHUA (IC): Seems like a water sink.

BRAD (IC): (surprised) You think? Here?

ARIEL (IC): What…what is a water sink? Just…just a whirlpool?

JOSHUA (IC): I don't know what…I don't know what else could do that.

ARIEL (IC): A drain?

JOSHUA (IC): It's a sinkhole.

BRAD (IC): It's where there's a fissure in the ground, a subterranean lake, essentially.

ARIEL (IC): Alright. Away from that, then.

BRAD (IC): Sucks people in. It's not fun, it’s not fun. Definitely leave. Assuming that's what it is? Better safe than sorry. Vano? Starboard this time.

JOSHUA (IC): Yeah.

(OOC) I go hard…hard over away from the frickin whirlpool.

RUSSELL: As you turn hard away from it, the water grips the bottom of the boat more strongly, and begins to pull you faster towards the point on the horizon. In between you and the shore.

BRAD: Having seen that unfurling the additional sails is having no effect, counter steering against it is having no effect, and Obi has absolutely nothing on his persons to remotely…

RUSSELL: Well, the sails seem to be helping.

BRAD: Okay. (sighs) We need something else. Um…

JOSHUA: Are we making progress away from…from the sink? And it's just really slow, or…

RUSSELL: Your sharp right turn away from shore isn't making the most of the wind, because the wind is driving you forward along the shore, and so if you're trying to drive away from it, you're losing some of your momentum.

BRAD: Obi would convey to Vano that we need to go in the most optimal location with the wind at our backs, away from this thing.

RUSSELL: Also, if you look down at the water, you can see…So, the water isn't pulling directly towards the whirlpool, it's pulling forward in the direction you are going. So, before you were essentially, uh, sailing parallel to the direction of the water, and now you're sailing directly against it, and so it's pulling the underbelly of the ship.

BRAD: Let's head…head back towards the land, then.

ARIEL: Alright.

RUSSELL: So, you're gonna sail towards the whirlpool?

JOSHUA: Not towards the whirlpool itself, uh, but we will get more towards our previous course, to catch more winds and to realign ourselves with the…with the water.

RUSSELL: As you realign yourself with the water, and now you have drawn in closer, the current that pulls you forward jerks, and the ship lurches, pulling ahead even of the wind, and begins to just glide along the water.

ZANE: So, as, uh…I didn't read my spells, um, or actually forgot I had one of these spells, um, I actually have a spell that can help. Uh, they're trying to steer out of it, right?

JOSHUA: Ideally, yeah.

RUSSELL: Yes.

ZANE: Uh, I'm going to cast, uh, Shape Water, and it's just (blows), and I'm gonna pretty much…Amadeus is gonna walk to the front of the boat, and just, while everyone's doing it, just full-on, like, [magical whooshing, crackling] just magic in his hands, and he's just gonna cause, like just push the water, and he's gonna cause it to push out of the way of the whirlpool. Like he's gonna cause all the water to lead us out of the whirlpool.

RUSSELL: How much surface area of water can you push with that?

ZANE: Uh, it said…Oh fuck, uh…5 feet.

ARIEL: (laughs)

ZANE: 5 foot cube. But it's a cantrip, so I can continuously just keep go boom boom boom and just keep going as much as I can.

RUSSELL: Alright, as you try to pull the…the water to push the ship away from the whirlpool, you are not able to push enough water to move this large boat any further away, but you are able to slow its…slow its, um, increase, or I should say decrease its distance to the source. So you are maintaining your distance from the whirlpool now.

BRAD: Obi, at this point, he's doing the mental math in his head. He's experienced stuff like this before, and he knows the only other option that we have with our limited resources is to start hauling shit overboard to make us lighter. That is the only other thing he knows that we can do, 'cause we'd have no other, 'cause as far as he knows, we've got no other things. He's going to turn,

(IC) (commandingly) Amadeus, Rosara. Rosara, tie a line so that we head in the same direction, and the sails can keep us on course. Vano, we need all your strength to keep us away from this thing. Rosara, Amadeus, get below deck, and chuck everything we don't need off the side of the ship, now.

ZANE (IC): I'm kind of keeping the water at bay right now, so, you…

ARIEL (IC): I've got it!

ZANE (IC): Someone else needs to go do that.

ARIEL: And Rosara will, uh, lash the line to the most secure point that she can find, and then, uh, yeah, run down below deck, and just start trying to grab as much stuff into her arms as possible, and running up to the front, and tossing it overboard. Just like, crates, barrels, empty stuff.

RUSSELL: Gritzern runs below deck after Rosara, and begins to drag up whatever he can.

BRAD (IC): Rosara, did you find much?

JOSHUA (IC): Obi!

ARIEL (IC): I'm just finding barrels and crates, and I'm tossing out the dead lumber!

BRAD (IC): This is not gonna be enough. Vano?

JOSHUA (IC): Obi.

BRAD (IC): You got anything?

JOSHUA (IC): (warningly) You're not gonna like it.

BRAD (IC): When do I ever like it?

ZANE (IC): Whatever it is, do it.

JOSHUA: "Whooosh." {mimes steering sharply} Hard over to port, and steer kitty corner along with the current. Kitty corner…corner to cut across, just off to the side of…of the hole, and get that…and that speed going to cut past.

BRAD: (concerned) Oh no, no, no no, no, no please! No!

ARIEL: (laughing) Rosara falls the ground and says,

(IC) His plan is to kill us! He's killing us, that's the plan!

JOSHUA (IC): I said, you weren't going to like it!

RUSSELL: As he turns into the whirlpool, the ship lurches forward. It barrels, dragging more…further into the water, as the water grips it and pulls it, pulling it away from the direction of the sails, and slings forward with added momentum. As…as you move forward, the distance now in between you and the growing, uh, eye of the whirlpool begins to close, as you not only gain momentum, but lose distance.

JOSHUA (IC): Make sure to furl the sails. We don't want it slowing us down, if it's…if it's going against the wind. We need every bit of momentum.

BRAD (IC): Rosara. I know what he's trying to do. It's…eh.

ARIEL (IC): (scared) Ehh?

BRAD (IC): If Vano…If Vano gives the word, cut the main sail line.

ARIEL (IC): (pants, afraid) Oh my god, I'm gonna die here. Okay!

(OOC) And she, uh… {mimes pulling ropes}

BRAD (IC): Most likely! Most likely.

ARIEL: Goes ahead and like starts, like, doing all the shit.

BRAD (IC): Amadeus? What have you got?

ZANE: So, knowing that what Amadeus was doing with the water was keeping them just at the right angle, he's going to, right before they reach the pool that's going to suck them in,

RUSSELL: Well, you're still really far away from it.

ZANE: I know, but he's going to hold Shape Water the whole time, and do exactly what he's doing on the outside to keep them at the same area possible, he's going to do it on the edge of the…of pretty much the middle of the whirlpool to keep us at that side, to increase the momentum of our slingshot.

RUSSELL: Well, we're near the end, one way or another, this is about to shake out enough in a way.

JOSHUA: In a way! (laughs)

BRAD: There has been no…I will just say, there has been no rolling yet.

JOSHUA: (laughing) No, not yet. I'm really hoping the skill checks, you know, allow us to pull this shit off!

RUSSELL: Well, at this point, like, you've been creatively problem-solving in a way that I, uh, want to uh permit to succeed up to this point, so I haven't asked for any skill checks, because I…I like your problem solving, and I want to roll with it instead of giving you skill checks.

BRAD: Yeah, can we give props for our fucking shit rolls as well? Let's go.

JOSHUA: Right?

RUSSELL: I mean, you're doing pretty good. Vano's steering the ship along the edge of the whirlpool, the distance slowly creeping in, closing, as it grows larger and larger. Lord Amadeus, pushing water, trying to maintain that distance, Rosara, pulling hard on the sails, Obi, aloft, looking out to sea, uh, Gritzern tossing things over the ship's side, frantically. The ship sails forward, and then…you see a moment of opportunity. The shore is in front of you. You are now skirted along the side…have skirted far enough around the outside rim of the ship, that you now see you are rounding back around and starting to face towards shore. In the distance, you can see water tossed up onto the beach in huge waves, as it just rams and brushes against it. You see there was a…there…what used to be a large sandy beach is completely swept away, boulders are being tossed up onto the beach and torn off of the shore and ripped asunder, tumbling and…and churning in the water.

BRAD (IC): (pants, afraid) Is it over?

RUSSELL: On your left is the eye of the whirlpool, growing larger in front of you, the crash of the waves on the shore, and to your right, the open water.

ZANE: So, we're like…we're about to begin the slingshot to gain the momentum? That's where we are?

RUSSELL: Yeah.

BRAD (IC): (nervously) Vano? Do we keep the sails up? Do we cut them?

JOSHUA: Is the wind from behind us?

[music fades]

RUSSELL: The wind is pushing up along the coast, north, but you were running parallel to the coast north.

JOSHUA: Right. Yeah, the goal is when we get to the parallel to the…to the hole point, that once we hit that point, the sail…the sails come down to catch the wind, pulling us with extra momentum forward.

RUSSELL: Vano, I want you to make a check to see if you can ascertain the perfect moment to try to break away and use the momentum of the ship to sail outside…to pull outside of the pull of the whirlpool.

JOSHUA: Okay. By using Perception or…

RUSSELL: Intelligence.

BRAD: (nervously) Roll high. Please roll high!

JOSHUA: Right. Intelligence is not my strong suit. I wish it was Perception. (laughs) Okay. You did say Intelligence, right?

RUSSELL: Yes, I did say Intelligence.

BRAD: (nervously) Please roll high, please roll high.

JOSHUA: (laughs) {facepalms}

BRAD: No. What?

JOSHUA: (nervously amused) It's a 4 minus 1!

ZANE: Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?

BRAD: Are you…Right. We're dead.

JOSHUA: (amused) Okay!

ZANE: The one guy we trust with the ship is the one who screwed us over.

ARIEL: What the fuck!

JOSHUA: It was a great idea!

BRAD: Technically, I'm the only person proficient in it.

ARIEL: Obi's…Obi's definitely the captain now.

ZANE: Then why weren't you at the helm?

BRAD (IC): I'm the navigator!

RUSSELL: On a 3 for your judgment call on when to slingshot yourselves out of this whirlpool correctly, your judgment is that you…you're not quite sure the right moment, you hesitate, the water pulls you forward, you surge towards the beach, the whirlpool churning on your left, the rocks crashing and smashing, the waves smashing against them, and then in a grinding and smashing and clanging of boards and wood, planks break, the ship heaves, it smashes against the rocks, and bends at the center, and then snaps, [wood cracking] springing and splaying splinters and wood in the mast into the air, which then lurches to the side, and begins to crash forward towards the beach.

[wood clattering] {fade to black}

{fade back in to Russell} Alright. Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of Heralds of Wayinar, it's been quite a ride for our cast. As it always is, they tend to keep me on my toes, and I do like to keep them on theirs. Thank you so much for tuning in, you can catch us obviously again on next Friday 5pm PDT on Twitch, you can catch our previous episodes on YouTube and all of the oneshots with the characters' backgrounds, origin stories. Remember, like, share, subscribe, follow, blah blah, you know the things, you know the drill, you should be pretty internet savvy by now. So, thank you so much for all of your support, and don't forget: Chaos awaits you, in the dark.