The Weird Place

The Weird Place is the fifth chapter in the Wombles Five.

Meanwhile, Cathy was bored of driving her Lotus. She parked it on the side of the road and got out onto the pavement. Then she heard a horrible sound. She fainted.

A while later (although she didn’t know how long), Cathy woke up in a strange place. It was black, white, orange, grey and gold. She could see them all at once but not together. She got up to look for a door. At first, she was so dizzy she fell back down. She got back up again.

After four hours of looking, Cathy found a gold door. She tried to open it. It was locked. She happened to be wearing high-heeled boots. So she took one off and picked the lock with it. She opened the door.

Outside the door was a dark red corridor.  There were five more doors in the colours of the strange room.  Cathy opened the gold one.  Unfortunately, there was a cybernaut behind that one.  They knocked Cathy out.

When Cathy woke up, she was back in the strange place. She found that the gold door had disappeared, and there was an orange one at the other end. She opened it. There was a man there, but Cathy had no idea who they were. They lunged at her. She threw them back against the wall. Then she noticed a pale blue gun on the floor. The man just smiled. Cathy took aim. She was just about to shoot when frost started to form on her hands & upwards. She gasped & fell on the floor.

Suddenly the place started to catch fire. Cathy struggled up and rushed back through the orange door.  She looked at her hands and realized the frost had been melted.  Another cybernaut came in from a new black and grey striped door on the left.  They knocked Cathy out again, and she woke up laying across the roof of her Lotus.

She looked around and saw a Rolls Royce next to her.  Inside was someone who looked exactly like her and someone who at first she thought was Steed, but then because of the person looking exactly like her she decided the people in there must be Thomas and Lucy after drinking purple serum. “Is that you Thomas and Lucy?” she said.

“Yes” replied the person who looked exactly like her.  “Dad gave us some purple serum.”  “I told him not to make any more of that!” said Cathy.  “He didn’t, he found it in his pocket”  “That doesn’t change how it was made!  It ought to be against the law to have it!”  “Well you’re the queen.”  “Oh yes, that hadn’t occurred to me.  I’ll write it into the law then.  Anyway, come with me.  Leave the Rolls Royce here, it’s not yours.”  “Er” said Thomas.  “Why are you on top of your car?”  “I don’t know, some very strange stuff happened.” Replied Cathy whilst getting off the roof and into the car.  Thomas and Lucy got in with her.  They drove home.

“Well at least this temporarily makes it so that I don’t have to look after two babies.” Said Cathy when they got back.  She opened the door and couldn’t see Steed anywhere.  “John!” she called.  “It’s no use hiding I know you used purple serum!”  Steed poked his head out from behind the door.  “Oh” he said.  “You won’t send me to prison will you?”  “Not this time” replied Cathy.  “But if you do it again…”  “Ok, ok, I won’t.” said Steed.  “And by the way where did you go?”  “To a weird place with coloured doors and a pale blue gun.”  “Huh?”  “I have no idea how I got there.  It’s a long story.”  Suddenly they heard crying.  The purple serum had worn off.

Mrs Peel was waiting for Gambit.  He finally came along.  “Where were you?” asked Mrs Peel.  “Somewhere” replied Gambit.  “I guessed that, but where?”  “Somewhere” Gambit just took Mrs Peel into his car. “We’re not going to go to those plants again are we?” asked Mrs Peel.  “No” replied Gambit.

They were still driving much later, and were now driving up a cliff.  Gambit turned the car quickly and screeched to a halt at the edge.  Mrs Peel’s door swung open and she was now hanging out of a car on the edge of a cliff.  “What on earth are you doing?” screamed Mrs Peel.

Cathy had left Steed to look after the babies and gone out again.  She was walking along the beach.  Suddenly she heard a scream above her.  She looked up and saw Mrs Peel hanging out of a car on the edge of a cliff.

“Why are you screaming so much?” said Gambit.  “You told me you were immortal.”  “I am technically.” Replied Mrs Peel.  “But the immortality device will de-activate if I fall at least one hundred feet. This drop is two hundred!”  “Oh ok then” said Gambit and just sat there not seeming to care about what she had just said.

“Mike!  Why are you trying to kill me!  I will be your wife tomorrow!”  Gambit suddenly looked worried and drove away from the edge. Mrs Peel fainted.

Cathy had been watching the whole thing from the beach, hence why Gambit had looked worried.  She ran up the cliff.  “Mike Gambit!  You are under arrest!” she said.  Gambit knocked her out and seemed relieved.  “What just happened?” asked Mrs Peel, getting out the car.  “It shocked me so much that I can’t remember.” Gambit came up with a story of it that wasn’t true.  “Queen Cathy just tried to push you off the cliff so I knocked her out for you. Let’s take her to Steed and see what he thinks.”

Unfortunately Mrs Peel believed him.  They bundled Cathy into Gambit’s car and drove off to Grand Steed Manor.  The phone rang just before Steed answered the door. He answered the phone first. “Hello?” he said.  “Bananas” said a voice.  Steed bent his arms into the shape of bananas.  Gambit came in carrying Cathy with Mrs Peel.  Steed knocked them out.  About half an hour later he woke up.  “What?” he said.  Cathy and Gambit were both unconscious.  “Where is Mrs Peel?  Hang on Mrs Peel!”  He shook Cathy and woke her up.  “Cathy! Mrs Peel attacked us all!  Can we arrest her?”  Steed asked.  “Of course!” said Cathy.  “To be honest I still hate her in spite of this marriage arrangement you dreamt up.” “What arrangement?” asked Gambit. “The flower arrangement for tomorrow” replied Steed quickly.  “Oh OK” said Gambit.

“By the way Cathy I have new car!” Steed said with glee.  “Really?  Please don’t tell it’s a rubbish yellow rover!”  Steed said he needed the toilet, nipped out and traded the yellow rover for a super-charged racing green Jaguar.  “No” he said running back in.  “It’s a super-charged racing green Jaguar!”  “Nice!” said Gambit “I’ve got a flame red Jag!  Good work bro!”  “Yes it does sound fast!” added Cathy.

The wombles had just managed to enter the Avengers HQ.  The Avengers thought the giant Steed had stopped them so relaxed to watch The Avengers on TV.   “That’s me on TV!” said One Ten whilst twiddling his pen.  Suddenly General Bulgaria poked him in the back with his rifle. “Out with you!  Out with the lot of you!” he shouted.  “He won’t fire” said One Twelve.  General Bulgaria tried to fire his rifle but One Ten hit him with a trifle.  Captain Tomsk tried to help but One Ten made him yelp.  The wombles all tried to fight but try as they might it was a hopeless plight.

“That’s the last of the wombles in the cells” said Mother after locking up Private Shansi.  He popped out for some air.  “What!” he shouted.  An army of much tougher looking wombles was gliding down with what looked like wings.

Cathy decided to get Grand Steed Manor extended.  She called an architect.  “Vincent, David Vincent” said the architect shaking her hand.  He went away after they had discussed the plans.  Then he came back the same day.  “Nice hair cut!” said Cathy.  “I didn’t tell anybody about my hair cut!” said David looking alarmed. “I can see it’s shorter!” said Cathy. David was checking her fingers. Cathy slapped him and he ran away terrified.

He ran all the way to the army base.  “What I can do for you sir!” asked Commander Bond.  “They’re here!  The Queen!” shouted David.  “Who’s here?” asked Commander Bond.  “The invaders!”

Back at Grand Steed Manor, Cathy was confused. She was just about trace her hand through the question mark on the TV control when there eleven loud knocks at the door. She answered. “Purdey, stop coming here with no good reason! Would you like your house being invaded?!?!”. “Well, since it’s under the ground, that’s quite unlikely.” Replied Purdey. “But anyway, your architect seems to think you’re the one doing that.” “Doing what?” asked Cathy. “Invading.” Explained Purdey. “Huh?” said Cathy. “Well, he says you knew about his haircut,” answered Purdey. “So you must be this thing called an invader with an extended finger.” “My finger isn’t extended!” said Cathy. “And I’m certainly not an invader! Everyone else is doing the invading. Anyway, I could see he’d cut his hair!” She slammed the door. Purdey just left to ask Gambit if she could borrow his car.

“Why?” asked Gambit, once Purdey had asked her question. “Oh, well, I don’t have my own car, you see, and I wanted to go for a drive.” “Well, alright.” Said Gambit with a sigh.

After an hour of driving, Purdey got quite exhausted. She got out the car, heard the strange noise Cathy had heard earlier and passed out.

Another unknown while later, Purdey woke up in the strangest place she had ever seen. It was pink, blue, white, grey & clear all at once but not together. Purdey got up, fell over and got back up again. After five hours of looking, she found a blue door. She tried to open it, but it was locked. She took her mask off and picked the lock with the edge. Behind the door was a robot duplicate of herself. She fought with them for a while and got knocked out. She woke up back in the first place. She opened the new pink door on the right & stepped into a corridor with five more doors. She opened the grey one.

There was a loud roar, so she closed it. Then Purdey opened the white door & got hit. She closed that too. She opened the clear door and discovered her gun. She picked it up and shouted, “Who’s doing this? I’ll shoot you if you do anything more.” Purdey was answered by a speakerless voice. “Oh yes,” it said. “That would be very convenient. You see, I am the only one who knows how to get out of here. So if you kill me, you shall be stuck here forever.” “And why should I believe you?” shouted Purdey. “Whoever you are!” “Because you have no other option.” Replied the voice. “Oh yes I do!” yelled Purdey. “I’ll find my own way out, and if I can’t I’ll kill you and try again!” Then she heard a noise and felt something like an iron bar hit her. She fell to the ground and later woke up on top of Gambit’s car.

Meanwhile, Tara and Venus were discussing what to do about Mrs Peel’s departure from SCAR. “I know!” said Tara suddenly. “We’ll kill Gambit, and then she’ll want to marry Steed again…so she’ll join SCAR again!” “Excellent.” Said Venus. “I prefer it when you sing everything.” Said Tara. “How are we going to kill him?” asked Venus, ignoring this comment. “Well.” Said Tara. “You know how in every cat there is a hidden tiger?” “Where did you learn that?” asked Venus. “From Mrs Peel.” Said Tara. “And how is it relevant?” continued Venus. “Well, in every dog there is a hidden wolf, so if we could bring that out of John’s dogs and get them near Gambit, they would kill him for us.”

Purdey got off of Gambit’s car and saw Mrs Peel staring at her.  “Why were you on top of that car?” she asked.  “I don’t know” replied Purdey.  “By the way what has happened to your wig?”  “What?” Mrs Peel felt the wig.  It was all twisted round sticking up.  “I don’t know, but I have an idea that it might be because of when I almost fell off that cliff.  But I still can’t remember how I almost fell off, it shocked so much that it wiped my memory a bit.  In fact I only just remembered that I was wearing a wig.”  “Strange” replied Purdey.  “I’m not sure how shock would make you forget things.  Have you been doing some archery?”  “Huh?” Mrs Peel was confused.  “Well there’s an arrow in your back.”  Mrs Peel pulled it out.  “I think I’ve seen this kind of arrow somewhere before, but I’ve forgotten.”  “Oh” said Purdey.  “Well probably someone was doing archery and accidentally fired an arrow into you.”  “I suppose so.” Replied Mrs Peel.