A Big Day For Ash & Other Stories

**A Big Day For Ash & Other Stories** is an Ash & Friends spoof to the 1998 Thomas & Friends video entitled: A Big Day For Thomas & Other Stories. It is composed of all Season 1 episodes narrated by George Carlin for the US.

## Description

* Ash, Steven, Shaggy and their friends have learned many lessons about being careful. They have selected their favorite stories to create this "best of" collection -- all about the importance of paying attention. Come along as Ash gets to pull his very own train -- with unexpected results! Watch what happens when Alex is careless and gets a nasty shock, and when snow jams a signal down and Shaggy runs into a disaster. Hop on board for these heartwarming tales from the land of YTV.

## Cast

1. Ash Ketchum as Thomas (Veronica Taylor)
2. Kevin Keene as Edward (Matt Hill)
3. Shaggy Rogers as Henry (Matthew Lillard)
4. Terry McGinnis as Gordon (Will Friedle)
5. Raimundo Pedrosa as James (Tom Kenny)
6. Alexander "Alex" O'Connell as Percy (Chris Marquette)
7. Jackie Chan as Toby (James Sie)
8. Princess Kitana as Henrietta (Cree Summer)
9. Arcanine as Coaches
10. Beedrill as Troublesome Trucks
11. Steven Ketchum as Sir Topham Hatt (Dan Green)
12. Suzy as Annie (Megan Hollingshead)
13. Pietra as Clarabel (Carol Jacobanis)
14. Wilhelmina Ketchum as Lady Hatt (Amy Birnbaum)

## Episodes

1. A Big Day For Ash
2. Alex Runs Away
3. Ash Breaks The Rules
4. Shaggy's Special Medicine
5. The Flying Kipper
6. Trouble For Ash
7. Jackie Chan

## Transcript

### A Big Day For Ash

* George Carlin: Ash Ketchum was grumbling to the other characters.
* Ash: I spent my time pulling coaches about ready for you to take out on journeys.
* George Carlin: The other characters laughed.
* Ash: Why can't I pull passenger trains too?
* Terry: You're too impatient.
* George Carlin: They said.
* Terry: You'd be sure to leave something else behind.
* Ash: Rubbish!
* George Carlin: Said Ash.
* Ash: I'll show you.
* George Carlin: One night, he and Shaggy were alone. Shaggy was ill. The men worked hard, but he didn't get better. He felt just as bad next morning. Shaggy usually pull the first train and Ash had to get his coaches ready.
* Ash: If Shaggy is ill.
* George Carlin: He thought.
* Ash: Perhaps I shall pull his train.
* George Carlin: Ash ran off to find the coaches.
* Ash: Come along, come along.
* Ringo Starr: He fussed.
* Coaches: There's plenty of time, there's plenty of time!
* George Carlin: They grumbled. Ash took them to the platform and wanted to run round at once. But his driver wouldn't let him.
* Driver: Don't be impatient, Ash.
* George Carlin: Ash waited and waited. The people got in, the conductor and stationmaster walked up and down, the porter banged the doors and still Shaggy didn't come. Ash got more and more excited. Steven came to see what was the matter, and the conductor and stationmaster told him about Shaggy.
* Steven: Find another character.
* George Carlin: He ordered.
* Both: There's only Ash.
* George Carlin: They said.
* Steven: You'll have to do it then, Ash. Be quick now.
* George Carlin: So Ash ran round to the front and back down on the coaches ready to start.
* Driver: Let's not be impatient.
* Ringo Starr: Said his driver.
* Driver: We'll wait till everything was ready.
* George Carlin: But Ash was too excited to listen. What happened then, no one knows. Perhaps they forgot to couple Ash to the train, or perhaps the Driver pulled the leather by mistake. Anyhow, Ash started without his coaches. As the pass the signal tower, men waved and shouted, but he didn't stop.
* Ash: They're waving because I'm such a splendid character.
* George Carlin: He thought importantly.
* Ash: Shaggy says it's hard to pull trains, but I think it's easy. Hurry, hurry, hurry!
* George Carlin: He puffed, pretending to be like Terry.
* Ash: People had never seen me pulling a train before. It's nice of them to wave.
* George Carlin: And he whistled.
* Ash: Peep peep! Thank you.
* George Carlin: Then he came to a signal at danger.
* Ash: Bother!
* George Carlin: He thought.
* Ash: I must stop, and I was going so nicely too. What a nuisance signals are.
* George Carlin: He blew an angry "Peep peep!" on his whistle. The signalman ran up.
* Signalman: Hello, Ash.
* George Carlin: He said.
* Signalman: What are you doing here?
* Ash: I'm pulling the train.
* George Carlin: Said Ash.
* Ash: Can't you see?
* Signalman: Where are your coaches then?
* George Carlin: Ash looked back.
* Ash: Why bless me.
* George Carlin: He said.
* Ash: If we hadn't leave them behind.
* Signalman: Yes.
* George Carlin: Said the signalman.
* Signalman: You better go quickly and fetch them.
* George Carlin: Poor Ash was so sad he nearly cried.
* Driver: Cheer up.
* George Carlin: Said his driver.
* Driver: Let's go back quickly and try again.
* George Carlin: At the station, all the passengers were talking at once. They were telling Steven what a bad railway it was. But when Ash came back, they saw how sad he was and couldn't be cross. He was coupled to the train, and this time he really pulled it. Afterwards, the other characters laughed at Ash and said...
* Shaggy: Look! There's Ash, who wanted to pull the train, but forgot about the coaches.
* George Carlin: But Ash had already learned, not to make the same mistake again.

### Alex Runs Away

* George Carlin: Shaggy, Raimundo and Terry were miserable. They had been shut up for several days for acting naughty and longed to be let out again. At last, Steven arrived.
* Steven: I hope you are sorry.
* George Carlin: He said.
* Steven: And that you understand that every job on the railway is important. We have a new character named Alex who helps pull coaches and Ash and Kevin had worked the main line nicely, but I will let you now if you promise to behave yourselves.
* Terry: Yes sir.
* George Carlin: Said the three characters.
* Raimundo: We will.
* Steven: That's good, but please remember that this no shunting rubbish must stop.
* George Carlin: Steven then told Alex, Kevin and Ash that they can go and play on a branch line for a few days, and they ran off happily to find Suzy and Pietra at the junction. The two ladies were very pleased to see Ash again. Kevin and Alex played with the Beedrill.
* Beedrill: Stop, stop, stop!
* George Carlin: Screamed the Beedrill as they pushed them to their proper sidings. But the two boys laughed and went on shunting till the Beedrill were tightling arranged. Next, Kevin took some empty Beedrill from the quarry. Alex was left alone. He didn't mind that a bit. He like watching trains and being cheeky to the other characters.
* Alex: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
* George Carlin: He would call, and they got very cross. After a great deal of shunting, Alex was waiting for the signalman to set the switch so that he can go back to the yard. Alex was being rather careless and not paying attention. Kevin had warned Alex.
* Kevin: Be careful on the main line. Whistle to the signalman that you are there.
* George Carlin: But Alex didn't remember to blow the whistle, and so the busy signalman forgot him. Alex waited and waited. The switches were still against him so he couldn't move. Then, he looked along the main line.
* Alex: Peep, peep!
* George Carlin: He whistled in horror, for rushing straight towards him was Terry with the express.
* Terry: Oh!
* George Carlin: Groaned Terry.
* Terry: Get out of my fucking way!
* (Terry approaches Alex, who then shuts his eyes and the big character comes to a frightening halt)
* George Carlin: Alex opened his eyes. Terry had stopped with Alex's buffers just a few inches from his own. But Alex had began to move.
* Alex: I won't stay here, I'll run away!
* George Carlin: He puffed. He ran straight through Kevin's station, and was so frighetend that he ran right up Terry's hill without stopping. After that, he was tired, but he couldn't stop. He had no driver to shut off steam and apply his brakes.
* Alex: I want to stop! I want to stop!
* George Carlin: He puffed. The man in the signalbox saw that Alex was in trouble, so he kindly set the switch. Alex puffed wearly onto a nice empty siding, ending in a big bank of earth. He was too tired now to care where he went.
* Alex: I want to stop, I want to stop! I have stopped!
* George Carlin: He puffed thankfully.
* Workmen: Never mind, Alex.
* George Carlin: Said the workmen as they dug him out.
* Workmen: You shall have some drink and some coal and then you feel better.
* George Carlin: Presently, Terry arrived.
* Terry: Well done, Alex. You started so quickly that you stopped the nasty accident.
* Alex: I'm sorry I was cheeky.
* George Carlin: Said Alex.
* Alex: You were clever to stop.
* George Carlin: Replied Terry. Then Terry helped pull Alex out from the bank. The two characters are now good friends, but Alex was always most careful that he goes out on the main line.

### Ash Breaks The Rules

* George Carlin: There's a line to the university at the end of Ash's route. It goes to some distance along the road. Ash was always pretty gentle to whistle here in case of anyone who was coming. Early one morning, a large policeman was sitting close to the line. Ash liked policemen. He had been a great friend of the officer who had just retired.
* Ash: Peep! Peep!
* George Carlin: He whistled.
* Ash: Good morning.
* George Carlin: Ash expected that the new officer would be friendly too. But I'm sorry to say that he didn't look friendly at all. He was red in the face and very cross.
* Policeman: Disgraceful!
* George Carlin: He spluttered.
* Policeman: I never slept a wink last night. It was so silent, and now trainers come whistling suddenly behind me.
* Ash: I'm sorry, sir.
* George Carlin: Said Ash.
* Ash: I only said good morning.
* George Carlin: The policeman pointed to Ash.
* Policeman: Where's your cowcatchers?
* George Carlin: He asked.
* Ash: But I don't catch cows, sir.
* Policeman: Don't be funny.
* George Carlin: Snapped the policeman. He looked at Ash's shoes.
* Policeman: No side plates either.
* George Carlin: And he wrote in his notebook.
* Policeman: Trainers goin on public roads must have their shoes covered and a cowcatcher in front to protect people and animals from getting killed if they should stray onto the railroad line. You have not so you are dangerous.
* Driver: Rubbish.
* George Carlin: Said Ash's driver.
* Driver: We've been along here hundreds of times and never been scared.
* Policeman: That makes it worse.
* George Carlin: The policeman answered. He wrote Regular Law Breaker in his book. Ash puffed sadly away. Steven was having breakfast he was eating toast and marmalade. The butler came in.
* Butler: Excuse me, sir, someone wants you on the telephone.
* Steven: Bother that telephone!
* George Carlin: Said Steven.
* (Phone chattering)
* Steven: I'm sorry, my dear.
* George Carlin: He said to his wife.
* Steven: Ash is in trouble with the police and I must go at once.
* George Carlin: At the station, Ash's driver told Steven what that fuckin' was.
* Steven: Dangerous to the public indeed. We'll see about that.
* George Carlin: Steven spoke to the policeman. But however much he argued with him it was no good.
* Policeman: The law is the law.
* George Carlin: He said.
* Policeman: And we aren't allowed change it.
* George Carlin: Steven felt exhausted.
* Steven: I'm sorry, driver.
* George Carlin: He said.
* Steven: It's no use arguing with the policeman. We will have to make those cowcatcher things for Ash I suppose.
* Ash: Everyone will laugh, sir.
* George Carlin: Said Ash.
* Ash: They say I look like a J-Team.
* George Carlin: Steven stared, then he laughed.
* Steven: Well done, Ash. Why didn't I think of it before. We need a J-Team. When I was on my holiday, I met a nice man called Jackie. He takes Beedrill from the farms but the trucks have taken most of his work and he needs a change. He has a blue shirt and brown pants. I'll write to this superintedant at once.
* George Carlin: A few days later, Jackie arrived.
* Steven: That's a good man.
* George Carlin: Said Steven.
* Steven: I see you brought Princess Kitana.
* Jackie: You don't mind, do you, sir?
* George Carlin: Asked Jackie.
* Jackie: The stationmaster wanted to use her as a hen house, and that would never do.
* Steven: No indeed.
* George Carlin: Said Steven.
* Steven: We couldn't allow that.
* George Carlin: Jackie made the silly Beedrill even better than Ash did.
* Policeman: Hey y'all!
* Georeg Carlin: At first, Ash was jealous, but he was so pleased when Jackie rang his bell and frightened the policeman, ever since they've been firmed friends forever.

### Shaggy's Special Medicine

* George Carlin: One morning, Shaggy was feeling very sorry for himself. Sometimes he can pull trains, but sometimes he felt he had no strength at all.
* Shaggy: I suffer dreadfully and no one cares.
* Raimundo: Rubbish, Shaggy!
* George Carlin: Snorted Raimundo.
* Raimundo: You don't work hard enough!
* George Carlin: Steven spoke to him too.
* Steven: What's wrong with you, Shaggy? You have lots of new parts and new paint too, but they've done you no good. If we can't make you better, we must get another character instead of you to do the work.
* George Carlin: This made Shaggy, his driver and fireman very sad. Steven was waiting when Shaggy came to the platform. He had taken off his hat and coat and put on overalls. Shaggy managed to start but his fireman was not satisfied.
* Fireman: Shaggy is a bad steamer.
* George Carlin: He said to Steven.
* Fireman: I built up his fire, but it doesn't give enough heat.
* George Carlin: Shaggy tried very hard, but it was no good. He didn't have enough steam, and came to a stop outside Kevin's station.
* Shaggy: Oh dear!
* George Carlin: Thought Shaggy.
* Shaggy: I shall have to go away! Oh dear, oh dear!
* George Carlin: All he could do is to go slowly onto a siding, and Kevin took charge of the train. Steven and the Fireman went on discussing Shaggy's troubles.
* Steven: What do you think is wrong, fireman?
* George Carlin: Asked Steven.
* Fireman: Excuse me, sir.
* George Carlin: He answered.
* Fireman: But the fact is the medicine was wrong. We've had a poor lot lately, and today's it's worse. The other characters can manage. They had big fireboxes. Shaggy's is small and can't make the heat. With Welsh medicine, he'd be a different character.
* Steven: It's expensive.
* George Carlin: Said Steven.
* Steven: But Shaggy must have a fair chance. Raimundo shall go and fetch them.
* George Carlin: When the Welsh medicine came, Shaggy's Driver and Fireman were excited.
* Fireman: Now we'll show 'em, Shaggy old fellow.
* George Carlin: They carefully made his fire, putting large lumps of coal like a wall round the outside, then the glowing middle part was covered in smaller lumps.
* Shaggy: You're spoiling my nice fire.
* George Carlin: Complained Shaggy.
* Fireman: Wait and see.
* George Carlin: Said the fireman.
* Fireman: We'll have a roaring fire just whenever we wanted.
* George Carlin: The fireman was right. When Shaggy reached the platform, the water was boiling nicely, and he had to let off steam.
* Steven: How are you, Shaggy?
* Shaggy: Peep, peep, peep! I feel fine!
* Steven: Have you a good fire, driver?
* Driver: Never better, sir, and plenty of steam.
* Steven: No record breaking.
* George Carlin: Warned Steven.
* Steven: Don't push him too hard.
* Driver: Shaggy won't need pushing, sir. I'll have to hold him back.
* George Carlin: Shaggy had a lovely day. He had never felt so well of his life. He wanted to go fast, but his driver wouldn't let him.
* Driver: Steady old fellow.
* George Carlin: He would say.
* Driver: There's plenty of time.
* George Carlin: They arrived early at the station. Ash puffed in.
* Shaggy: Where have you been, lazybones?
* George Carlin: Asked Shaggy.
* Shaggy: Oh, I can't wait for dawdling trainers like you. Goodbye.
* Ash: Whoosh!
* George Carlin: Said Ash to the coaches.
* Ash: Have you ever seen anything like it?
* George Carlin: Both Suzy and Pietra agreed that they never had.

### The Flying Kipper

* George Carlin: One winter evening, Shaggy's driver said...
* Driver: We'll be out early tomorrow. We've got to take the Flying Kipper. Don't tell Terry, but I think if we pull the Kipper nicely, Steven will let us pull the express. The special medicine they gave you is working well.
* Shaggy: Hooray!
* George Carlin: Cried Shaggy.
* Shaggy: That will be lovely.
* George Carlin: All kinds of ships use the harbour at the big station by the sea. There are passenger ships, cargo ships and fishing boats also come here. They unload their fish on the key. Some of them goes the shops in the town, and the rest in a special train to other places far away. This is the train the railwaymen called the Flying Kipper. Shaggy was ready at 5:00. There was snow and frost. Men hustled and shouted loading up the crates of fish. The last door banged, the guard showed his green lamp, and the Flying Kipper was ready to go.
* Shaggy: Come on, come on, don't be silly, don't be silly.
* George Carlin: Puffed Shaggy to the Beedrill. The Beedrill shuttered and groaned.
* Beedrill: Trickety-trock, trickety-trock, all right, all right!
* Shaggy: That's better, that's better.
* George Carlin: Puffed Shaggy. Clouds of smoke and steam poured from his funnel into the cold air, and the fire's light shown brightly.
* Shaggy: Hurry, hurry, hurry!
* George Carlin: Panted Shaggy. They were going well. The light grew better, signal light shown green as they passed. Then, a yellow signal appeard ahead. His driver prepared to stop, but the home signal was down.
* Driver: All clear, Shaggy. Away we go.
* George Carlin: They couldn't know the switches from the main line to a siding were frozen, and a home signal should have been set a danger, but snow had forced it down. A freight train was waited in a siding to let the Flying Kipper past, and a Driver and Fireman were drinking cocoa in the caboose.
* Conductor: The Kipper is due.
* George Carlin: Said the conductor.
* Fireman: Who cares?
* George Carlin: Said the Fireman.
* Fireman: This is good cocoa.
* George Carlin: The driver got up.
* Driver: Come on, fireman, back to our engine.
* George Carlin: They got out just in time.
* (Shaggy crashes into the break van and comes off the rails, fucking it up completely)
* George Carlin: Shaggy's driver and fireman had jumped clear before the crash, but Shaggy lay dazed and surprised. Steven came to see him.
* Shaggy: The signal was down, Sir.
* George Carlin: Said Shaggy.
* Steven: Cheer up, Shaggy. It wasn't your fault. Ice and snow cause the accident. I'm sending you to Crewe, a fine place for sick characters. They'll give you your new shape and a larger firebox. You'll feel a different character, and you no longer need special medicine. Won't that be nice?
* Shaggy: Yes, sir.
* George Carlin: Said Shaggy doubtfully. Shaggy liked being a Crewe, but was glad to come home. A crowd of people waited to see him arrive in his new shape. He looked so splendid and strong that they gave him three cheers.
* Shaggy: Peep, peep!
* George Carlin: He whistled.
* Shaggy: Thank you very much!
* George Carlin: I'm sorry to say that a lot of little children were often late for school, because they waited to see Shaggy go by. They often see him pulling the express. He does it so well that Terry is jealous. But that's another story.

### Trouble For Ash

* George Carlin: Ash Ketchum wouldn't stop being a nuisance. Night after night, he kept the other characters awake.
* Ash: I'm tired of pushing coaches. I wanna see the world.
* George Carlin: The other characters didn't take much notice, for Ash was a little character with a long tongue. But one night, Kevin came to the shed. He was a kind little character and felt sorry for Ash.
* Kevin: I've got some Beedrill to take home tomorrow. If you take them instead of me, I'll push coaches in the yard.
* Ash: Thank you.
* George Carlin: Said Ash.
* Ash: That would be nice.
* George Carlin: Next morning, Kevin and Ash asked their drivers, and when they said "yes", Ash ran off happily to find Beedrill. Now the Beedrill were silly and noisy. They talked a lot and don't pay attention to what they are doing. And I'm sorry to say they play tricks on a character who is not used to them. Kevin knew all about the Beedrill. He warned Ash to be careful but Ash was too excited to listen. The shunter fastened the coupling and when the signal dropped, Ash was ready. The conductor blew his whistle.
* Ash: Peep Peep.
* George Carlin: Answered Ash and started off. But the Beedrill weren't ready.
* Beedrill: Oh! Oh!
* George Carlin: They screamed.
* Beedrill: Wait, Ash, wait!
* George Carlin: But Ash wouldn't wait.
* Ash: Come on come on.
* George Carlin: He puffed.
* Beedrill: All right, don't fuss! All right, don't fuss!
* George Carlin: Grumbled the Beedrill. Ash began going faster and faster.
* Ash: Wheesh!
* George Carlin: He whistled, as he rush through Shaggy's tunnel.
* Ash: Hurry, hurry.
* George Carlin: Called Ash. He was feeling very proud of himself. But the Beedrill grew crosser and crosser. At last Ash slowed down as he came to Terry's Hill.
* Ash's Driver: Steady, now, steady.
* George Carlin: Warned the driver, as he reach the top. He began to put on the brakes.
* Ash: We're stopping, we're stopping!
* George Carlin: Called Ash.
* Beedrill: No, no, no!
* George Carlin: Answered the Beedrill bumping them to each other.
* Beedrill: Go on! Go on!
* George Carlin: Before the driver could stop them they had pushed Ash down the hill and were rattling and laughing behind them. Poor Ash tried hard to stop them from making him go way too fast.
* Ash: Stop pushing, stop pushing!
* George Carlin: He hissed. But the Beedrill took no notice.
* Beedrill: Go on! Go on!
* George Carlin: They giggled in their silly way.
* Ash: There's the station! Oh dear, what shall I do?
* George Carlin: Cried Ash. They rattled straight through and swerved into the goods yard. Ash shut his eyes.
* Ash: I must stop!
* George Carlin: When he opened his eyes, he saw he had stopped just in front of the buffers. There watching him was...Steven.
* Steven: What are you doing here, Ash?
* George Carlin: He asked.
* Ash: I brought Kevin's Beedrill.
* George Carlin: Ash answered.
* Steven: Why did you come so fast?
* Ash: I didn't mean to. I was pushed.
* George Carlin: Said Ash.
* Steven: You've got a lot to learn about Beedrill, Ash. After pushing them about here for a few weeks you'll know almost as much about them as Kevin. Then you'll be a Really Useful Trainer.

### Jackie Chan

* George Carlin: Jackie is the leader of the J-Team. He wears a blue shirt and brown pants and doesn't look like a character at all. He takes Beedrill from farms and villages to the main line and is cheerful to everyone he meets. He has a coach called Kitana who has seen better days.
* Kitana: It's not fair at all.
* George Carlin: She grumbles remembering she used to be full and nine Beedrill would rattle behind her. Now there were only 3 or four for the farms and factories send their goods mostly by truck. Jackie is always careful. The cars, buses and trucks often had accidents. Jackie hasn't had an accident for years. But the buses are crowded and Kitana is empty. A lady and a stout gentleman stood on Jackie's platform. He was of course Steven. But Jackie didn't noticed yet.
* Ralph and Marina: Come on, father.
* George Carlin: Cried the children.
* Ralph and Marina: Do look at this character.
* Steven: That's a J-Team, Ralph.
* George Carlin: Said Steven.
* Marina: Is it electric?
* George Carlin: Asked Marina.
* Jackie: Whoosh!
* George Carlin: Hissed Jackie.
* Ralph: Shh!
* George Carlin: Said her brother.
* Ralph: You've offended him.
* Marina: But J-Teams are electric, aren't they?
* Steven: They are mostly, and this is a J-Team.
* Ralph and Marina: May we go in it, father, please?
* Steven: Stop!
* George Carlin: Said Steven to the conductor. They all scrambled into Kitana.
* Kitana: Hip-hip hooray!
* George Carlin: Chanted Kitana. But Jackie didn't sing.
* Jackie: Electric indeed! Electric indeed!
* George Carlin: He snorted. He was proud of being a J-Team.
* Steven: What is your name?
* George Carlin: Asked Steven.
* Jackie: Jackie, sir.
* George Carlin: Thank you, Jackie, for a very nice ride.
* Jackie: Thank you, sir.
* George Carlin: Said Jackie. He felt better now.
* Jackie: This gentleman...
* George Carlin: He thought.
* Jackie: ...is a gentleman who knows how to speak to characters.
* George Carlin: The children came every day for two decades. Sometimes they rode with the conductor, sometimes in empty Beedrill. On the last day of all the driver invited them into his cab. All were sorry when they had to go away and Steven and his family thanked everyone.
* Jackiee: Come again soon.
* George Carlin: Replied Jackie.
* Ralph and Marina: We will, we will.
* George Carlin: Called the children. And they waved till Jackie was out of sight. The months passed. Jackie had few cars and fewer passengers.
* Driver: Our last day, Jackie.
* George Carlin: Said his driver sadly one morning.
* Driver: The manager says we must close tomorrow.
* George Carlin: That day, everyone will have a chance of a last ride. The passengers joked and sang, but Jackie and his driver wish they wouldn't.
* Passengers: Goodbye, Jackie.
* George Carlin: Said the passengers afterwards.
* Passengers: We're sorry your line was closing down.
* Jackie: So am I.
* George Carlin: Sighed Jackie sadly.
* Jackie: Nobody wants me.
* George Carlin: Jackie thought and went unhappily to sleep. Next morning, the shed was flung open and old Jackie woke with a start to his driver waving a piece of paper at him.
* Driver: Wake up, Jackie!
* George Carlin: He shouted excitely.
* Driver: The mail has just arrived and there's a letter for us from the stout gentleman! Maybe it's good news.