Spoof. James Spoof.

Spoof. James Spoof. was a campaign. It was probably run by Looweeja, using the Wizards of Shapsar system.

## Background

It is the 1960s. A group of elite secret agent anarchists are on the loose in Europe, aided in their schemes by the malevolent Doctor Von Dokktor. Britain must send a group of its most elite secret agents to stop them - agents from MI7, the division so secret that no one in the British government even knows it exists.

A trio is dispatched to secure the miscreant agents and bring them in for trial - or, failing that, kill them quietly. The group is composed of Bjørn Strömquist, Arthur Pencilwyvern, and Barry Bold. All three are elite agents, trained in the deadly arts - sort of.

## Campaign

The group begins being dropped from a spyplane far above Berlin, plummeting downwards towards the busy city streets. Naturally, this is no ordinary car - it's about as full of gadgets as you can get, and a few thousand feet up, a parachute is deployed, allowing Bjørn to guide the vehicle down onto the freeway, retract the parachute, put on some sunglasses and speed off the moment the tires touch pavement.

Arthur, as pre-eminent knight of the realm and spoofite, climbs on top of the car in full armour with his lance and shield, sticking a magnetic police siren to the top as he does so. From this vantage point, he can clearly see evidence of wickedness - at a lemonade stand on the side of the freeway, a woman is refusing to pay the little girl running it!

Bjørn guns the engine, and the trio rush towards the lemonade stand to right this injustice - and run it over. The head of the miscreant woman pops off, gets stuck in the tires and falls into the passenger's seat, where Bjørn takes it to use as a hand puppet. After some dramatic sliding over the grass at the side of the freeway, the group slides back on - only to now be pursued by a police car.

Bjørn goes to hit the gas, but ends up hitting the brake instead, and the car screeches to a stop. The police pull up beside them, and one fellow gets out of the vehicle and orders them to get out. At that point, Bjørn brings out his hand puppet and his gun. The cop turns white with horror and tries to shoot him, only for Barry to catch the bullet, and when his partner tells him to get back in the cop car and leave for backup, he is only too happy to comply.

The group heads onwards, and winds up in the back parking lot of a chemical factory deemed suspicious by MI7. In a stroke of genius, they enter using the front door, for 'No one would ever suspect it!'. They find themselves in a series of dingy offices. The last one is occupied by a mousy little woman who resembles a perpetually harried secretary in her mannerisms, and Bjørn immediately uses his very large gun to relieve her of her head.

Entering the little office, they find a typewriter, a lot of file folders, and a blueprint of the building which seems to describe a hallway leading off this one that doesn't exist.

The group tries a few methods to open what is evidently a secret door, but as they are going about this, Arthur notices the hallway is slowly filling with poisonous gas! Arthur roots around in his satchel, and pulls out some knight-themed gas masks, and everyone thinks the crisis is handily averted until Bjørn fires up his laser-emitting ring - and it turns out the gas is also explosive. Bjørn and Barry are thrown down the tunnel, but Arthur simply stands there in full plate armour, until he realizes his friends are not made of such physics-defying stuff as he, and runs down the tunnel to help them. He pulls out a defibrillator from his bag and uses it on Bjørn, who does an excellent impression of Mace Windu being electrocuted by Palpatine in Revenge of the Sith, and has his bulletproof turtleneck burned through. Still, he gets up after and brushes the ash off of him, good as new.

A little reluctant to put Barry through the same process, they instead tie his shoelaces to his wrists and create a Barry-Backpack, which Bjørn puts on. Arthur stabs the wall with his lance, which hits part of the mechanism and opens the door, and after a little finagling, all of them are through, and facing a short hallway leading to a dark staircase.

Arthur heads down the stairs, steps on a rat, and immediately slides into the shadows, though he is able to get his shield under him to avoid being too badly bruised. Bjørn follows more cautiously, and emerges into a large warehouse-like room where six round vats of chemicals are bubbling, and a shadowy catwalk sits above. Bjørn, being a clever sort, pops on some night-vision goggles, confirms that yes, there is a creepy man in a suit who looks like Keanu Reeves up there, and then turns his attention to Arthur, who is sinking in a vat of orange goop. Barry notes that it appears to be some version of memotoxin.

Arthur's shield sinks under him, and he tries to pole-vault out with his lance, but it takes Bjørn's help for him to be free of the vat. Fortunately, a towel rack nearby allows them to wipe the gunk off of them. Arthur then undoes that by leaping into a vat of purple, stating that it will counter the wickedness of the orange. Bjørn, presumably shrugging by this point, pulls him out by his still-orange shoes, which are the only thing sticking above the purple goo. One out, Arthur dips his shoes in to become fully covered, and promptly begins to melt. Arthur tries to towel it off, but ends up wiping his arm away. Then he notices the fellow watching from the catwalk...

Concluding this is his evil doing, Arthur hurls his lance, impaling catwalk man, who tumbles into a vat of yellow. Arthur declares that yellow counters purple, and flings himself into the vat.

Below, the two tussle, and the Keanu lookalike spouts some gibberish while Arthur spouts a similarly nonsensical line about how the man shouldn't sacrifice himself for his cause, despite the fact Arthur was the one who impaled him.

The man suffocates in the goo, and Arthur dissolves entirely away.

Barry and Bjørn show up, Barry having since used the defibrillator to heal himself, and use Arthur's lance to root around in the goo and see if they can find him, but end up pulling the other fellow out instead. Once they confirm Arthur is gone, Bjørn dips the other fellow in the rest of the vats, removes the lance, and goes at it with the defibrillator. The other man wakes up, and lo and behold, it's Arthur's mind!

After a few questions to determine Arthur's bona fide, Arthur finds some opera tickets in the lining of his coat for *Pinocchio,* and it's off to the theater.

Upon their arrival, Bjørn hands out some bearer bonds, and before long, they've become owners of the entire theater, for they have grossly overpaid for it. They promptly bar everyone else from the opera, save some suspicious-looking suited people, and order the actors to go ahead with their play, but make it 'More Hitler-y'.

So while the story of Gestapo creating a wooden dictator was going on in the background, a tense meeting was had in the only occupied opera box. It quickly became clear that the group of suited folk wanted nuclear codes for something, and had come here intending to meet with someone who had access to them. Since whoever was originally intended to meet with them had evidently been barred from the theater with everyone else, Bjørn had to impersonate them.

The anarchists bought it, and after conversing for a while, Bjørn requested the services of Doctor Von Dokktor in exchange for the nuclear codes. One of the anarchists went to make a phone call, coming back with an address on the other side of town and a request that the codes be turned over to the doctor once they met him.

The anarchists left, Bjørn had the actors skip to the end, threw some bearer bonds at them and left.

The trio speed across town and run into a police checkpoint. Due to disguises and body-swapping, only Barry looks like he did earlier when they were running over lemonade stands, and upon spotting him, the cops ask him to get out of the car and begin questioning him away from the others. When his story displays some disparity from Arthur's, the cops try to arrest him, and Bjørn responds by stepping on the gas. They bowl Barry and the cops over, the former accidentally, then they pick him up, pop him back in the car, now rather broken, and drive off.

They arrive at a nice townhouse, and meet Doctor Von Dokktor sitting in a nice brocaded chair in a sunny sitting room. He appears to be a nice old fellow with frizzy white hair and a long nose, and talks happily about providing clean energy to the world and many significantly less-than-evil things.

Bjørn then pulls out a fortune cookie, and asks him what he could do with it. The doctor's eyes go wide, and he starts elaborating when Ryoma and Pip appear from Shapzar, and freeze time to begin collecting the fortune cookies and prevent their chaos from leaking out into the world.

As they finish collecting the cookies, green containment circles flare up around them, breaking the time freeze, and Doctor Von Dokktor pulls off his mask, revealing himself to be none other than Neb Aslo.

Neb takes out two animate mannequin arms on handles and has them harvest all the fortune cookies on Pip, including those he had just taken from Bjørn. He hands the group a fortune cookie each in the interests of keeping them quiet, and then continues to deal with the tricky business of getting all of the rest to lie safely in his pockets.

Barry then takes off *his* mask, revealing him to be none other than James Bond, and explaining why he barely said anything when laws were being broken all over the place. Neb Aslo vanishes into a metal slide leading downwards, and Bond pursues him as Arthur and Bjørn free Ryoma and Pip, and then follow.

The moment Ryoma is freed, the house goes crazy on him, unleashing various defenses Neb cooked up that triggered upon sensing the magic cocaine that infuses every Wizard of Shapzar's magic. Pip, however, escapes this fate due to being reliant primarily on fortune cookies for his magic, and so doesn't read strongly enough to set off Neb's traps.

The secret agents pursue Neb into the slide, having decided to fight on the side of the Wizards of Shapzar due to them showing official looking badges. The slide spits them out in an underground cavern with a river flowing through it, where Neb gets into a speedboat. Bond lands on the bow, gun at the ready, and Arthur puts a hole in the boat with his lance. Neb is undaunted, and beneath his lab coat, a cloak flutters like wings, propelling him into the air. Bond grabs onto Neb's tail, and Pip hurls a grog molotov at Neb, causing the cave ceiling to burst open and shower corpses down on him. Arthur hurls his lance and hits Neb, causing the fortune cookies to detonate, and Bond leaps to safety as Neb vanishes under the sudden tide of skeletons.

The whereabouts of Neb are unknown. It is likely all characters survived.

We do know that Neb got away with 33 Fortune cookies - and probably left some very disgruntled anarchists behind.