Torture Tango

**Torture Tango** is the tenth song featured in the musical Spies Are Forever and the closing song of Act 1. It was written by Clark Baxtresser and Pierce Siebers and preformed by Joe Walker as The Deadliest Man Alive, Curt Mega as Agent Curt Mega, and Mary Kate Wiles as Tatiana Slozhno.

## Lyrics

(**Key:** *Only in live version*, (*Only in cast recording*))

**The Deadliest Man Alive, spoken:**

Well, you're not gonna just slip by with your cocky demeanor this time, I'll see to that.

*But...* (*Now, Mega...*)before I chop you up into my carry on luggage...

***(Deadliest Man sights)***

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

I'm gonna torture the living shite outta ya.

**The Deadliest Man Alive, sang:**

I’ve been waiting for this moment for such a long time

And wouldn’t ya know it?

You’re finally mine!

If you’re hurting, please show it

Don’t be ‘fraid to cry

And just for my enjoyment, you will suffer

**(*Click*, Curt gasps)**

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

Suffer

**(*Click*, Curt whimpers)**

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

Suffer

**(*Click*, Curt whimpers)**

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

Until you die!

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!

I’ve quite the evening planned.

I’ve cleared up your schedule, nowhere else to go!

Trust me, you’re in good haaaaaaaaaands!

**(Curt yells and struggles)**

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

I’m a master of torture, it gets me high

To show ya the horror of staying alive!

I’ll prod ya

And poke ya

And bleed you dry.

And just for my enjoyment

You will suffer

**(Shock, (*Curt yells* ))**

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

Suffer

**(Shock, (*Curt yells* ))**

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

Suffer

**(Shock, (*Curt yells* ))**

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

Until you die!

**Curt Mega, spoken:**

*Ugh. You sick bastard.* Why don't you just kill me already?

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

Can't you see?

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

How much I enjoy this

I’d never avoid this

‘Cause buddy, I’m a different breed!

*(Deadliest Man punches Curt in the face)*

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

This is my calling, and though it’s appalling

I love making people bleeeeeeeeeed!

**Curt Mega:**

I once was a spy, but I won’t be a spy again!

At least I tried, tried to fight til' the end!

But I can’t deny that I’m gonna die...

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

Suffer

Suffer

Suffer

Until you die!

**Tatiana Slozhno:**

Abandoned

Betrayed me

That bastard lied!

That Nazi, he played me

I trusted him, why?

Is Mega my enemy?

Do I let him die?

I’ve got to think about my family

‘Cause no one’s looking out for me.

No matter what, I guess we’ll see if

**Tatiana Slozhno (The Deadliest Man Alive) [Curt Mega]:**

Once a spy, always a spy

Forever (Suffer![Curt gasps] Suffer![Curt gasps])

The warmest hello to the coldest goodbye

Remember, (Surrender!) remember [Never!]

Spies never die! (It's time to die! [I once was a spy!])
Spies are forever!

**The Deadliest Man Alive (Curt Mega) [Tatiana Slozhno]:**

I've been waiting for this moment for such a long time (If a spy is a spy, and I once was a spy)

And wouldn’t ya know it? Your finally mine (I'm gonna be a spy again) [Forever!]

If you're hurtin' please show it don't be 'fraid to cry! (Thought I could say goodbye, but I can't lie) [Forever]

And just for my enjoyment you will suffer! Suffer (I wanna be a spy again!) [Oooooh!]

**The Deadliest Man Alive (Curt Mega):**

I'm a master of torture, it gets me high! (Spy again, it's who I am!)

To show you the horror of stayin' alive! (Doesn't even matter if I killed my best friend!)

I'll prod ya, and poke ya (Try again!)

It's time to die! (Try not to die!)

**The Deadliest Man Alive:**

I've been waiting so damn long for this!

**Curt Mega:**

It's not supposed to go like this!

**The Deadliest Man Alive and Curt Mega:**

So this is how the story ends!

**Tatiana Slozhno, spoken:**

TAKE THIS!

**(Pistol-whip, the Deadliest Man Alive groans and falls)**

***(Curt gasps)***

**Curt Mega:**

What're you doing?

**Tatiana Slozhno:**

Saving you!

***Curt Mega:***

*You expect me to trust you?*

*Again?*

***Tatiana Slozhno:***

*You don't understand! He blackmailed me!*
*My family! Let me help you!*

**Curt Mega:**

I don't need your help! I don't need anyone's help!

**Tatiana Slozhno:**

What's your damage, man?!?

**Tatiana Slozhno, sang:**

Come on, Curt, let's get going!

**Curt Mega, spoken:**

...Owen?

**Curt Mega, Owen Cravour and Tatiana Slozhno:**

Spies are forever, forever...

Spies are forever!

Forever!

***(Gun shot)***

***Curt Mega, spoken:***
*AUGH!*

## External Links

* "Torture Tango" on YouTube (live)
* "Torture Tango" on YouTube (cast recording)
* "Torture Tango" on iTunes
* "Torture Tango" on Spotify
* Spies Are Forever Soundtrack on the Tin Can Bros Store