Dance of a Thousand Eyes

***Dance of a Thousand Eyes*** is the eleventh chapter of *Winter's Tales*.

## Synopsis

When Winter encounters two strangers in her cabin in an apparent misunderstanding, she becomes shocked to discover they don't want to be her foes, but her friends. She takes a major risk in befriending the two, a choice she ends up never regretting, and with them by her side, she dances under the eyes of what seems like thousands upon her.

## Warnings

### Content Warning

*This chapter alludes to blood, violence, abuse, and other mature subjects not meant for young audiences.*

### Disclaimer

*Some scenes and events from Season 1 are condensed due to time purposes.*

## Transcript

*"I can only wish that one day we'll find the one to keep..."*

*Friends.*

*Friends are, simply put, something real to behold and then some. They are always more than what meets the eye and are known to defy your expectations, flying high over your heads to the very top of the rainbow.*

*To have friends, and to speak to friends, is yet another one of earth's finest, well-crafted blessings. Friends lift us up when the world pitches down. Without them, we'd be caught in the dark, stranded in the fall, abandoned in the barren wastelands of the earth.*

*Friends light the way forward when all have the torches have burned out. They carry the Olympic flame from one end to the other, willing to sacrifice all they got just for you - to show they care.*

*Allies stay close to your heart, wherever you may go. Even if you're so far away, miles apart, separated by a continent, a river deep, or a mountain high, there will be friends that will follow you to the very end.*

*Am I suggesting that the trope of "best friends forever" is the only right answer? Absolutely not. Some people move on and find new friends with better overall interests. Or friends that fit their gist. Remember chapter three?*

*And some friends are toxic. We've also covered those bases before in my story so far.*

*But not all friends will stab you in the back, treat you like rubbish, and smash your skull in with the gavel. When you find the will-o'-wisps on the foggiest night, when there's no light and the only thing you can hear is the fast-paced beating of your heart, you know you are never truly by yourself and flanked by the shadows.*

*A true, true friend helps a friend in need, and a friend will be there to help them see.*

*Friendships are a beautiful thing when they flourish, open like a Pacific bleeding heart come springtime. Being in a friendship doesn't leave much to be desired, and you don't have to long for anything much when you've already got what you need.*

*From a safety net to even a (platonic) soulmate, friends are everything. I assume most of you wouldn't want to die alone and would rather die risking your life with your friends by your side, yeah?*

*It's up to the person at hand who seeks friends that decides which friends are keepers, devout, ready to roll, and are considerate of other opinions. Thoughtful, and with a hint of wit - not to mention bewaring the foes, the liars, fools, and jackasses seeking to use you for cheap thrills and to stir up drama, see if they can pull off becoming Regina George (and then immediately failing at it).*

*After I was traumatized and forced to run away from the only home I had ever known, I had resolved to take no friends, absolutely no allies, even from people who were my age. Why should I have ever trusted again? The people I loved all betrayed me, made me trample eggshells and walk a tightrope above a multi-ring circus just to keep me from a fate worse than death.*

*This dam was make of bricks and concrete, and it wouldn't crack. I loved my solitude, pride outweighing the cons of forever living by myself.*

*Being reclusive was my speciality, and I appreciated having a place to call my home, and my home only. I saw what no one else saw. I was the one that knew me best, and therefore, I thought having friends would never be necessary.*

*However, fate changes. It's like the tides that pull and draw with the cycle of the moon. As much as I was confident that I could bolster a life of eternal retreat in the woods, I was thwarted by a startling chance encounter.*

*Two girls, almost unreal and spirit-like, showed up in my room. It was all supposedly a misunderstanding...*

*What was a misunderstanding was more than that, and in conclusion, I faced a tantalizing choice: let my walls fall and be vulnerable around the dance of a thousand eyes, or shore myself up and go tooth and nail to defend my territory.*

*I chose the decision that would end up changing my life permanently, out of spare options and believing I had no choice but to crack.*

*Something ugly became something real. And I have never regretted the fleeting choice since.*

From the starry sparkles in your eyes, I can already see the glittering anticipation and suspense and how you're leaning forward to hear this part of my story. We're *almost* at the end. Can you believe it?

We have one more chapter left, and then our time together is over. It's felt like I've been telling my story to you for months... *whew*. How many hours has it been? I'm surprised you've sat still as a statue for this long listening to me ramble!

Yet, your energy's changed, adjusted slightly for this story, and by staring at your eyes, I can safely interpret that you *know* what I'm about to tell and *where* we're at. You just *know* who the two girls are.

Do you happen to know them?

From that nod, okay. You *definitely* do... and this makes my life easier, since I won't have to hardcore narrate everything I've been through with them. And, if you know those two... then do I even *need* to keep monologuing?

You're very eager, and I see you tapping your hands against your knees. Alright, I can't restrain you from this chapter any longer. Let's begin!

I remember this January day *very* flagrantly... it had only been mere days after I first gripped the raw power of my memories, learned to weld their potential into armor, into *comfort*, and had started to habitually take a photo out per day to think back upon, reflect on the pillars of my youth.

It was also mere days after the *unwelcome intruder* had trampled up a fuss in the woods, and my attempts to uncover the mystery, for now, had been all for naught. The footprints had vanished, no traces of intrusion left behind, and I was left more confused than anything. As to *what* someone would gain nosing in my territory, I can't say for certain.

It was the middle of the month now, and the sunrise brought some much-needed warmth to Pineshadow, temporarily melting any last snows and returning the land to an empty winter scene, with disappointed children poking at the wet ground with sticks and birds ripping up earthworms from the ground, flying off with a slimy snack in tow. The snow would be back later, however, because winter in Washington is not complete without several varying snowfalls. Gotta love it here.

The afternoon had brought minimal winds, raking the bare tree branches and operating the pine needles with thin puppet strings, picking them up in one place and dropping them elsewhere. The sun was out, not a cloud to be spotted by even a bird eye, and I was rummaging through my box, shuffling around for today's photo to reflect upon.

I had shut my eyes, messing with the positioning of each photo to jumble up my odds. Then, I plucked the edge of one, curiously staring at a girl glued to her imprisoned father, gazing out across a red-and-blue tinted lake.

*Pieces of me*. Melancholy settled at my heart, but I was familiar to it by now, and the ache was not nearly as severe from before. Tears were not to be shed, but memories were to be thought.

One more additional thing was on my agenda for the day.

I stretched, loosening up my body for my trek outside, and the satisfying *crick* of my neck and shoulders communicated to be that it was time to get going. I shut the lid of the box and placed it back on the shelf, where it belonged, and where it would stay out of the potential prying hands of others.

With one final enumeration to check that everything was in its rightful place, I set out the door and closed it behind me. This was the first error I made that day, and it wouldn't be the last of them.

First, before I reminisced on the past and traversed the brain fog that when whisked away, would lead me to salvation and secluded happiness, I went back to the area near to the clearing to check, to listen, for any signs of a *threat*. After what happened days ago, I wasn't gonna risk just sitting in my makeshift bed being lazy about an infraction like *this*. For *what reason* would someone stumble into the woods, in my neck of things?

*A stalker would do that,* the voice in the back of my head muttered, and I stood stiff-legged. A *stalker*.

*Stalkers*. Lars. The clique. *Daniela*. No, the clique was ruled out - it had been *one* person and *one* set of footprints. None of the clique was involved, and out of all people at PMS that could have had *true* intent, it would be either Lars or Daniela.

They'd achieve *nothing* by stalking me. I had a fortress in my memories, and my temper was experiencing a resurgence, going from blackened gravel to gradual, slow-burning flames. It was back, and I was feeling more *resolute*. At *last*.

My examinations of the area were a brief lacuna away from the photo held in my hand. The ground was strewn with pine needles and leaves, mud coating the tree roots from the thaw of winter's delight, and there were no indents, no footprints in the ground. No stranger had come in the days following.

I sat idly, crouched behind a tree or a bush, stealth skills set to fox mode, but there were no obscene noises, no sudden twigs snapping, no sort of calamity. There was just *calm* in the coolness of the afternoon, in the way the sun poked its rays through the tree branches. Birds chirped, and a squirrel picked at a nut before dashing up the thick trunk of a spruce tree.

Ah, serenity. Welcome back.

Clearly there was no kerfuffle on this day... *yet*. Time for the next task of the day.

Staring down at the photo, I felt my mind slowly slip from reality to the past, and my heart took the baton from my brain, its thrum guiding me through the woods, around trees, rocks, and logs, and around bushes with thorns that could give you a decent scrape.

The Piney Woods remained at an everlasting calm, and I heard repeated birdsong, soft *chirps* and *clatters* of juncos, siskins, hummingbirds, and finches, echo throughout. I heard the crunch of pine needles under my boots, certain with every step, and the wind rattled the tree branches, bobbing them in agreement to their tune.

The trees broke away from behind me, and out I was into the open grounds of Pinelake Park, not bearing the fruit of a single visitor. Odd, since the weather was the nicest weather in Pineshadow for quite some time, but I didn't think much of it. Error number two.

Taking my seat on the warm playground step, my eyes met the photo, and I felt my facial features weigh down with the somber context kicking right in. My mind was off, slipping into the forlorn territory of the past.

In a crumble, Pinelake Park fell away from me, and I was back at Rye Lake, still the same as it was when I was nine. The sun was setting, a beautiful array of pink, purple, orange, and red, eaten whole by the thick, dense pine trees surrounding the lake.

The water lapped against the shores, tickling against the feet of a nine-year-old girl and her father, who smiled, arm-in-arm. Watching the sun go down. Watching the water, waiting for a fish to ripple the top. Waiting for night to fall, just enjoying each other's company.

They couldn't see who I was now, but I saw them, and it brought the memories straight back.

Father was once a different man. He held standards, pushed them to extremes, and tried to apply them to me to keep me within how a McCormick should typically act. Every break from religion, every pivot from what was natural, every deviation from the bloodline, was worthy of *punishment*.

But when Mom died... oh, poor Mom - Father had realized his wrongdoings and how he'd worn me down to the point of tainting and ruining what jubilee I found in being religious. I'd changed in my own volition, cutting my hair, expressing my queerness in private, showcasing a love of women he'd never understand (and come to hate). We had conflict with each other, and I *greatly feared* he'd just reject me for being so outspoken.

Instead, the darkest event in our lives pushed us closer together, made us bridge the gap between us, and we became the most dynamic father-daughter duo, where instead of dismay, there'd be a declaration of *light*.

I thought of all the nights where we'd hang out at the mall with desserts, getting ice cream, running through the fields. Watching those movies, traveling all around Pineshadow...

My heart yearned to visit Rye Lake again, but it was too far away. I sat on the wispy grass, facing out at the lake and letting the sunset bathe me in its striking colors. Viscerally, I sensed Father's hand around me, the feel of the dirt, the grasses that tickled my skin. The warmth, and coming mellowness, of the sunset, and how my ears tickled from the sound of the lakewater rubbing up against the shore.

The vision was quickly over, not staying long as a reminder that Rye Lake was in the *then* and not the *now*. I still never averted my eyes from that photo, taking my time to analyze the markings in the lake, the closeness of me and Father, every pine tree, every cloud the sunset *brought*. The detail of a life that had been loved and lived.

That was the final strike.

My ears faintly detected something that sounded like grass crunching, but my mind was immersed in the world of Rye Lake, its beauty, its significance... nothing else mattered but *that*. I imagined I was *there* with it, following its rhy-

"Hello!"

And with the sound of a *human voice speaking directly to me*, my dream and my trance had been effectively *snapped*.

On instinct, I whipped around and felt my muscles clench with *dread* the moment my eyes rested on two girls, each appearing to be my age, staring at me with *intrigue*. *Intrigue*.

*Intrigue was a red flag*. They wanted to *snatch my personal information out of my hands*. Bad faith assumption, I know what you're thinking. Nevertheless, a *hefty* violation of personal space.

Such a *severe* violation was going to be met with *blazing resistance*.

"**What** the **hell** do you **want**?"

I came off *menacing*, and my mouth had formed a nasty scowl, but I did not care; my personal space had just been *violated* by ditsy clowns for *strangers*, and after *everything* recently, all of the ugly Snowblind bullying and tarnishing of my fine-china reputation, I wasn't going to be a gooey, pathetic softie around these two girls.

With their shocked frowns into silence, I used the moment to scan them veraciously. One of the girls had taken over the lead of the other, having pale skin, freckled cheeks, and a pretty muscular body that showed even through her gray sweater. She wore glasses, had shoulder-length hair black as the night, and holly-green eyes that were, I admit, pretty captivating.

The girl's companion, the one that had spoken to me, being the ignorant loon she was, had pale skin as well, but had shoulder-length auburn hair and brighter, leaf-green eyes, shirt shielded by a fuzzy blue North Face jacket.

The silence was broken by Black Hair, who straightened her form up and gave me a small smile, shoulders low and relaxed. Mine were up, and my hackles were bristling. I wasn't going to play Dances With Nitwits today, and I had been pushed to edge of my wits, a crumbling cliff, by a single spoken sentence alone. Varien, *help me*.

"Uh, hey. I'm her friend, and I'm really sorry if she disrupted anything important you had going on," Black Hair stated calmly, appearing to dip her head in apology. Her friend facepalmed, stating, "Evie! Why did you say that?"

I didn't pick up on the line, because my ears were ringing with more irritation than Auburn Hair's whiny voice, and I was mulling over screaming at the girls like a banshee and scaring them off or just pelting away and leaving them to question whether I was just a mirage in the breeze and uncovered sun.

I needed to handle this with *caution* - if I let these two get off the hook casually, they could very much flip and cut the rest of my body open, finishing the job Lars and Daniela both started. A growl *almost* escaped my throat just thinking of that *disgusting* fate itself.

Black Hair prodded Auburn Hair. "You see, we just saw you sitting here by yourself, and my friend observed that you seemed rather downhearted, so we just wanted to know if you were okay?"

*Know if I'm okay?*

Excuse me? Do you have *any clue* who I am, you freaking idiot? I was *fine*. Have you not heard of *reflecting* before?

I was stark-raving *mad*, and from how the girls looked frightened just *staring at me*, I realized that I had been gaining my intimidation back. My stare was poisonous, I'm sure of it.

Whatever was going through their heads and mine in that moment, I stopped giving fricks and stashed the photo loosely in my pocket. These two weren't a *threat* and hadn't crossed that line, but they were *pests*, and one wrong idea could have very much convinced them to loot through my history and spool me in circles, reducing me to a heap of battered yarn.

They needed to *stay the hell away from me*.

"I'm **FINE**, thank you very much for even *asking*. But I don't need some strangers feeling *pity* for me." I grabbed the baseball bat, pining to hit the home run and drive my point right through their know-it-all complexes.

I stepped forward, planting my left boot with hard *authority* into the grass.

"In case you're wondering, I do **NOT** talk to *strangers*. The only person I need in my life is *myself*. Me, myself, and *I*."

Black Hair appeared to get my point, her eyes wide, but Auburn Hair's lips were loose with discomposure, and she gave me those criminally offensive puppy-dog eyes. Ick...

"But... you just seemed so sad, I thought-" she protested, her voice on the verge of a crack, but at this point I had no pity left in my body. Everyone sucked it out of me and spat it out on the floor.

Neither of these two were to be trusted with confidential information, *especially* with Auburn Hair's nosiness. I squared myself up and hissed, just managing to avoid springing at the girl and flattening her in the dirt acordion-style.

"**"STAY OUT OF MY BUSINESS**!" I roared, causing the girl to shiver and hide behind her arms, shaking. *Now* she understood the point.

I felt myself glow a *little*. While I didn't like being so... *mean* to people who hadn't entirely proved to be threatening, it had to be done for my own sake. My business *wasn't* theirs, and they had come to learn it the *hard way*.

"What *are* you, some kind of *creep*? I don't care. You and your **dumb friend** need to **get away** from me."

Auburn Hair gasped, having not expected my words to be a double-edged sword, and Black Hair leapt in front of her, seemingly trained to fight a battle against someone running on iron-hot anger like I was.

However, I wasn't looking for a *fight* or an *altercation*; I was driven to the *point* of one, but knew blood was not necessary for a conflict like this.

Fear can be used to your advantage. The girls' frightened looks were satisfying enough - they would *never* dare interact with me again, I thought.

Spoiler: I was *obviously* wrong.

Turning my back to the girls and showing not an ounce of remorse for being cynical, I ran into the Piney Woods, back into my home, and let the trees enclose me in their buffer. Relief swamped me, and I proceeded in the general direction of the clearing, needing the fresh air to think about the encounter.

How had I let my guard down *that severely*? Was I seriously *that* deep in my past? Or did earth just have a grudge against me?

I hadn't yet realized that a *crucial* piece of me had gone *missing* - and my window to get it back had *closed*.

The air punctured my lungs, and my breaths were short and puffy. I sped into the clearing, into the open skies, and sat back on a log, head in my hands, panting.

I rose back up, and with a harsh *slap*, I connected my hand to my cheek.

"You freaking **IDIOT**!" I snarled, jumping off the log and stomping furiously through the grass, itching with invisible fire ant bites. "*Why* did you blow your cover like that? Why didn't you **THINK**? Sitting out vulnerable and not checking your surroundings. Consumed by imagination. I almost just **gave out my secrets**! God **damn it**!"

I wasn't just angry at myself for my epic trilogy of failures and shortcomings. I was also *baffled*, fully *stumped*, as to how *two girls* had the *guts* to approach a loner *they didn't even know in the first place*.

What did they *want* out of me? My secrets? My history? Using me as a bargaining chip for their own benefit?

*Whatever,* I inwardly scoffed. They were *freaks*, no-brained *simpletons* to put it bluntly. I scared them away with my defiance, my *hot* temper, and vividly recalling the alarm in their eyes, I guessed that they wouldn't bother coming back for a second round.

One knockout punch was enough to end the match.

I also hoped I hadn't just drawn more unwanted attention onto myself, given the velocity of my screeches. The girls could tell their parents... but would their parents even believe that a thirteen-year-old lived by herself and prowled the Piney Woods?

*They don't even know that about me. They just think I'm someone's kid sitting all by myself in the park, unsupervised...*

*Though... the girls didn't seem like those gossipmongers at PMS? They don't seem to adore scandals or trouble... but they give me trouble...*

Ugh! Trying to comprehend and unpack these two was giving me heatstroke and a migraine at the same time. They didn't *act* like scandalmongers, and didn't *follow* me back here... but I'd seen *deceit* behind diminutive *wiles*. Those girls were *not* to be trusted.

I stood, breathing, taking in the mountain air and eying the trees, the sky, and the mushrooms sprouting near the tree roots. Rinse and repeat this process for a couple minutes.

My heart calmed. The rage subsided. Time to go home.

Sighing, I faced the ring of trees in the clearing, preparing myself for the short trip back to the cabin. I put my hands in my pockets.

One hand felt my pocket knife, and the other felt... *fabric*.

*Shrimp*.

*SHRIMP*!

"*What*???" I gasped, fumbling in my pocket for *it*, grasping at the fabric for *it*, but I didn't *feel it*.

In the other pocket, I felt wood, wood that sealed the silver blade of my knife.

I patted myself down. Fabric.

*The sacred photo I had was gone*.

"Oh you *blasted* son of a ***MOTHER***!"

I was a fool. A *bastard*. What the *hell* was *wrong* with me today?

I knew what I'd done, and regret, as well as innermost hatred, sizzled in the center of my heart.

The photo wasn't properly stored in my pocket, and when I took off running, it had fallen out.

*Fallen into the hands of those girls*.

I'd just willfully handed *personal information* to the potential, two-faced *nemesis*.

One thing was for sure now.

*I had to get the hell back to Pinelake Park*.

With a growl loud enough to make a grown wolf cry, I pelted back through the woods, through the trees, strides long and ugly tearing through the pine needles. Sorry to all of the flowers I stomped on and killed, and sorry to every insect and small creature I startled or worse, killed under the weight of my boots.

I kept running, even though my lungs were pleading with me to stop as flames circled them, even though my heart was enlarged and knocked against my fragile ribcage, even though my trachea was a burnt incense stick that scratched my flesh.

If the girls had that photo, I was *screwed*. I'd lose *everything*.

*They couldn't find out about me*.

I saw the cabin in my sightlines, knowing that if I kept this up, I'd be back at the park in three minutes flat.

But when the cabin came in full view, *another* sight and *another* realization slammed the door square on my nose. Painfully literally.

*The door was unhinged*.

Left *wide* open, so wide a *bear* could likely squeeze through the gap and loot through my things, eating at my belongings as if they were an unsealed jar of honey.

*Temptation*.

I gasped, but swiftly fueled myself with *brutal* fury and self-loathing.

*This* was a result of my *carelessness*. Something, *someone*, broke into *my cabin*, and the purpetrator was *me*. This was *comeuppance* for bullheaded recklessness.

*And* for my failure to guard my boundaries. Those footsteps? Those noises I saw days ago? *Was it those goddamn girls*?

Were those two *stalking me*? Did they go as far as to *break in* as demented stalkers and excavate the roots I had loosely woven to the ground?

With my cabin being broken into, *my livelihood and possessions were in danger*.

Steathily, I slunk up against the wall of the cabin, pressing my ear to the brick and listening.

"That's a bridge way too far. This box could be containing things the girl could *only* want to keep herself. Secrets. Memories. It's not our place to sift through this... not our place to *know*."

*Black Hair*. The *two girls from earlier* had entered my cabin.

Broke in. Had my box. *Almost* sifted through it.

*Almost* was a *threat*.

"Alright. We should probably get outta here now. We pretty much learned what we needed to know, and so, there's no point. The girl could be coming back soon."

*Auburn Hair*.

They had *intent*. *Motive*. They wanted to pick me apart for scraps. They wanted to *expose* me. They were *stalkers*.

*Filthy*, *filthy* stalkers. They *were* the ones in the woods! I was being *pursued*! This wasn't gonna *stand*. They wouldn't live to tell the tale. Oh hell *no*.

I was going to *make them pay*.

Without thinking, acting on blind, *overwhelming*, screaming impulse, I drew the knife, clicked the button, and charged into the cabin. They didn't even have a chance to turn around and confront me before I demanded, with a sole, *powerful*, and now iconic line:

"***WHAT ARE YOU DOING***?"

The entire cabin was *shaken* by the thunderclap, and the girls jumped around to face me, startled that I had appeared out of nowhere. Yeah, you think this *didn't* belong to me, twats?

They saw the knife. My hard, etched-in look of *rage*. Looking like I was a *murderer*. Both screeched, herded into each other like sheep, and Black Hair, the tougher sheep in the flock, protected Auburn Hair.

The rabid dog in me growled and stepped closer to them. These *freaks* had to get off my turf *now*. They'd crossed many a bridge too far, and I'd *never* forgive them for it. Black Hair, rising to her peak form to be more of intimidation, tore the lightweight twig of silence between us.

"Put your knife down. We aren't looking for a fight with you, I promise. This is a misunderstanding!"

*Misunderstanding?!* How the *hell* was this a *misunderstanding* when these two had obviously *traipsed right in* to sift though my personal belongings? *My box*?

Why should I have a reason to *drop my weapon of defense* when these two were *mongering* for a fight? They were going to *get one*.

"Why *should* I? You two are **filthy stalkers**. First, you *don't leave me alone*, and second, you *find* my hideout and *scrounge* through my things??? You two want to **DESTROY ME**!"

The acid in the room bubbled through the floor. Auburn Hair tasted it on her tongue, and she cowered behind Black Hair, who faltered, but opened her mouth. "We never wanted to do that!" she insisted in desperation.

*Oh, really? When you verified your intent to look in my box?*

I growled again, louder and doggish, and I effaced the gap between me and the girls, knife blade closer to their skin. God, I didn't want to have to use *violence* against these two, but the more they pushed my buttons and did this screwing around, the more they were *asking* for a slice across their cheekbones.

*They're asking for this. I'm not a violent person, and I don't want to harm schoolgirls my age... but these two aren't doing themselves favors with their blatant failure to justify stalking me.* Thinking about it made more outrage boil in me, a volcano prone to erupting at any given moment.

"Please don't do this! We made a mistake! We're human! Just let us go!" Black Hair begged, shaking her head, her glasses sliding down her nosebridge a little from the movement. She was shaking, and her friend was a hot mess behind her. I didn't feel sympathy for Auburn Hair or her companion at all.

Sympathy was useless when you were dealing with *stalkers*.

"I have my **reasons** to **TEAR YOU APART**!"

Truth be told, I *wasn't* going to tear them apart, not physically, not with fisticuffs, and not with the knife. As I noted above and previously, I am absolutely no pacifist, nor am I a softie with a pure gold heart. I'm rugged. I'm wild. I can come off as insane.

Violence is a precaution I would *only* ever use if my life was in *imminent danger*. Black Hair and Auburn Hair weren't *putting* me in danger, but had desired to root through my things for their own personal gain. They needed to *go*, *skedaddle*, and *run*, and apparently, I was going to have to teach them a few more times that I wasn't a person they should be tempering with.

By all means, I'm not Daniela, but I did have to steal a page of her playbook by using bluffs to scare. What else did I have?

Auburn Hair had dug her fingernails so deep into her friend's sweater that I thought she'd be giving her a score of puncture wounds; her lip trembled, and for a moment, she became a giant baby slumped on Black Hair's back.

My heart cringed a little. I held firm.

But then Auburn Hair's resolve and demeanor *flickered*. It *changed*. The baby face and trepid, lifeless body became one of *light*. Of *salvation*.

I clutched the knife, hard, knuckles turning white from the force. She was planning *something*.

She wiped the tears from her eyes, and in a gutsy display of *valor* that made me *blink*, she charged out in front of Black Hair and *shielded her*.

She was *challenging me*. In response, I hissed and dragged a boot on the floor, rallying a charge of my own. *Try and fight me, you slimy bit-*

"**IT'S MY FAULT**!"

Her bright idea was to... *take accountability*? What kind of battle strategy was *that*? She only ended up *befuddling me* and adding on to my endless supply of *fury*.

"*What the hell*?!" I cursed in disgust while Black Hair was possessed by the bone-chilling ghost, staring at her friend the same way anyone would stare at the body of a *murder victim*.

She thought her friend had a *death wish*. I thought these two's motives were *ludicrous*.

*What* did they have in store for me? *Why* did they want my information? *Why* was Auburn Hair taking the blame *now* instead of *earlier*?

*I don't care about their motives. It's too late for them to justify this half-assed attempt of masking their tracks.*

Auburn Hair, obviously being unable to read my thoughts, had another weapon she fired clumsily at me.

"It's because of *me* that you want to kill *us*!"

*Juxtaposition?* Auburn Hair cried.

"*I* was the one who saw your saddened face. You were *alone* up there! Staring at that photo... I just thought... you wanted *someone* to talk to. I took my friend to look for you! That's why we're in your cabin! But I understand that it was dumb of me, and I'm *sorry*!"

*You can't apologize for looking through someone's private belongings. STALKING! I am NOT going to let you and your bozo partner in crime put me through hell AGAIN!*

I opened my mouth, an icy retort resting on the tongue, but Auburn Hair cut straight to the chase - by *freezing me dead in the wilderness*.

She picked up a square, papery thing, held it up to my eyes, which met it in *recognition*. I was *aghast*.

It was me and Father at Rye Lake.

*Pieces of me*.

"When we were about to search for you, this blew up to my shoes. It belongs to you. It was the photo you were staring at so somberly..."

The cabin fell so silent, so still, that you could hear a *feather* land on the tip of my boots.

*The stupid auburn-haired girl had my photo*.

In her *hand*.

Showing it to me without *hesitating*. Without missing a *wink*. My worst prediction was a *reality*.

The girls had my photo, and they'd seen it. They'd seen *enough* to guess who I was and use it to *dismantle me*. A game I wasn't going to play and lose everything to *ever again*.

They were *monsters*.

"Did you *look at it*? Did you look at *something* that **BELONGS TO ME**, you **freak**? I demanded, baring my teeth and advancing toward Auburn Hair, who flinched and gasped, her leaf-green eyes mousy and scrambling, moving to me and then back to the photo.

"*No*!"

The air was tense. A vulture cried. I smelled the smoke - and a *lie*.

She *had* that photo, and the conversation from earlier was *concrete proof* she saw the front *and* the back. My mind was *clouded* by the heat of raw *rage*.

"You're **LYING**! Some nosy fool like you **LOOKED AT IT**!"

"No I didn't! I only saw the backside of it!"

"**PROVE IT**!" I countered. This was Auburn Hair's *only* chance to defy my abysmally low expectations and confirm that she'd only *just* seen the backside and not the front. I couldn't trust her. I never would.

She was anxious, fear bubbling up from the goosebumps on her skin. With fear came blunders, and I heavily expected for her to just confess to seeing the front.

If she kept the lie, she'd be going home with a knife pressed against her throat. I am no killer, and then, I was *still* no killer, but the girls were asking to be herded out and sent home *at knifepoint*. I wasn't in the mood for playing give and take.

"Uhh... the photo is a baby picture of you?" Auburn Hair's first guess was incorrect - that was the first photo, which she either saw or didn't before she and Black Hair stopped messing with the box. Hmmph.

"What the hell are you playing at? That's not a baby picture!"

"You at school?" *Definitely* incorrect, and bile snarled in my stomach. Why would I have happy memories at school when all I was there was a blinded dweeb named *Snowblind*?

"Dumbass! I didn't like having pictures taken at school!"

Wincing, Auburn Hair narrowed her eyes and hurtled her final, sloppy guess at my feet.

"You traveling out of the state to somewhere like California???"

*Does she know about Heartbeat Point???* I prepared to grill her for guessing, but then stopped. *No. I have no photo of Heartbeat Point or memorabilia she could have seen. Plus, she could be alluding to ANYWHERE in Cali...*

Auburn Hair was incorrect all three times. Color me *astonished*. I eyed her suspiciously, watching her, and she held her fingers and uneasily shifted. Waiting for me to prompt her again. She smoothed her hair.

The body language and incorrect guesses were enough, and reluctantly, I realized that she *did* see the backside, no more than that. She *did* have *some* merit. *Some* decency.

*She's not lying. Good.*

Running on an anger-bent autopilot, I snatched the photo out of her surprised hand, stating, "Ugh, okay. You're not lying," and stashing the vital memory, this time *properly*, in my pocket, where it was safe. Home with me, away from the unholy shadows, whom I wouldn't be letting slide away for praying on me and my secrets.

It was time for *consequences*. I was *done* with this standoff - it was *go big* or *get stuck with denial*.

Composing my battle stance, I pointed the knife at both girls and *scowled*. This war was going to *die*. Right here, right now.

"Give me one *goddamn reason* why you've *stalked me* and trespassed into **MY CABIN**! Or I'm going to slit your throats and ***END YOU WHERE YOU STAND***!"

"P-Please don't d-do t-that!" Auburn Hair begged feebly, returning to the sad baby and looking more like a lost puppy sent floating down the river.

"You d-don't have t-to g-go that f-ar," added Black Hair, also a lost puppy floating down the river.

*Will you stop freaking stalling? I don't got all day to horseplay with you mush-brained imbeciles!*

Good *lord*, these two were *aggrivating*. *Why* couldn't they just leave? Auburn Hair already fessed up and took accountability, and yet *why* were they staying, trying to break me? They *wouldn't*. I had nothing to give them, and they'd trespassed deep into my personal boundaries.

I wasn't going to kill them, but choke them with the memory of this confrontation if they didn't. I would make them *live* to see how much the daylight *burned*.

Auburn Hair felt the daylight, as she blinked, her face more stoic, *serious*. Great, *here we go again*. I tensed.

"Tell us. *Why* do you live here? The amount of food, clothing, and your makeshift bed behind us proves that this is your grounds. You're on your *own*."

*No shrimp, Sherlock!* I wanted to roll my eyes at the idiocracy this girl was running. She sure would have *liked* to be as intelligent as Black Hair, but just had to figure out the *obvious* and *then* state it. Yeah. Speak it to *the homeowner*.

My *life* and my *cabin* combined *were none of her business*.

"***THAT DOESN'T CONCERN YOU***!"

I moved toward her, knife blade mere *inches* from touching her skin. If they were going to keep sabotaging their explanations and beating 'round the bush with me, I would stop bluffing and *harm for real*. I didn't want to. I didn't want this to come to violence.

I was *pissed*, however. I was running out of chances to give before this day would end in *bloodshed*.

"Try meddling again, and I'll ***FRICKING KILL YOU***!"

Black Hair was not fazed by this unsettling settlement, and she buffed herself up. Oh, goody, *another* challenge? This was getting tiring.

"My friend is right! The interior in here is far too suspicious... from the way I found albums from this Varien person on your shelf, the bed, the box, the food... you've made quite a living in this cabin."

*Will you just LET GO?* I hissed, face-to-face with her, still inches apart from slashing her throat open and making her and her friend live and die regretting *ever* meeting me.

They didn't deserve to be *here*. They didn't deserve to fool with *me*. They didn't deserve to know *anything* about me.

I *hated* them.

Time slowed to a minimum. Movements were lacking. Air raid sirens were going off in my ears, forewarning of a bigger war. Of a new threat.

I had to *act*. These girls were going to unleash the *devil*. They were going to summon the unburied, and that unburied truth would *consume me*.

My anger rose, amounting into *cover*. *Weaponry*. *Fire*. This was the next Talking of the Axes. I was ready to strike.

There was only one door in the way of preventing the axes from *falling*.

But underneath my feet, the surface of the ice was *breaking*. And Auburn Hair saw the opportunity to *strike* me when it was the *weakest*.

What she said next would *turn my heart and blood to stone*.

"Do you... do you even *have parents*?"

*Parents*.

My own knife had pierced my chest.

I gasped, backing up, and my arm withered to pudding, dropping to my side and with it, the knife. My strength, my anger, seeped out of the chest wound, leaving me *vulnerable*. *Exposed*.

Falling to *pieces* in front of their eyes.

They couldn't see what I could see, but the clouds in my head had drifted apart, and I didn't see the girls in front of me. I saw *outlines*. Outlines of *people*.

A woman with curly, dyed honey-brown hair, eyes pure cerulean. A strict father with chestnut eyes and neatly-combed dark brown hair.

*Mom! Dad!*

I reached out to them. They faded, and I was left in a *void*.

I was *alone*. *Orphaned*.

*I didn't have parents*.

"My... my parents?" I asked in a whisper, in a haze, unable to see the girls anymore. I couldn't *see* anything, but felt the metal of *chains*, the fog of *loneliness*. My voice, *echoing* back to me.

I shivered, the temperature falling into sub-zeros. I was blanketed in an uncomfortable snowfall. I couldn't *breathe*.

What was even in front of me? Something I could touch and hold? Or something that would take my life and steal my essence?

Someone started speaking. It was Black Hair, but I could barely see her in this darkness. I was backing up into more blackness, clawing at my shoulders, my cheeks, my legs. I felt myself *free falling*.

"Everyone was born with parents," she assured, but my ears were ringing so loud that her voice was almos entirely muffled. "You appear to be our age - a young teen. Someone like you should *not* be living on your own unless you have a guardian that's taking care of you. Don't you at least have a mother?"

All of that was a blur. Static. Yet I heard one word she spoke, just *one word*, that made my eyes widen, *fix* open, in shrill *horror*.

*Mother*.

*Mom...*

The black void crumbled, and I saw a million images of Mom, from when I was a baby to when I was nine, at her side in the hospital, sobbing into her gaunt, dead body. Knowing I'd *never* have her back.

Hating the world for taking her away from me when I was hardly able to comprehend dying. Losing loved ones.

The only *truly* loving parent I ever *had*. *Gone*.

I couldn't *hold* her. Be told I was okay. Be told I was *loved*. I was *drowning* in the ghosts of my *past*.

*Mom... I need you! Please!*

Dumb wish. It would never come to fruition.

The scars on my body re-opened. The blood gushed out of me, floating up. The ground became a sea.

I gagged on my trauma, looking for words. Looking for something to bring me back. I couldn't.

I kept seeing Mom, seeing her *everywhere*, knowing I could *never* have her back. *Never*.

Cracks formed all over my body. Tears freed themselves from their cage, slipping down my face.

The girls *broke* into me.

Finally, I *shattered* and gave in to the current attempting to drown me.

"My mother is ***DEAD***!"

The last thing I heard then and there were two gasps.

I didn't want to fight. I slumped to my knees, dropping my knife, landing beside me with a hollow *thud*. My heart splintered, the fragments sharp and brittle. The girls must have stepped on them, and I saw them paralyzed with terror and guilt.

*Everything* hurt. They dug so deep, enough to scar my bones, tear my tissue from the seams, *poison* everything. The world was *suffocating me*. I couldn't see *clear*. I couldn't *breathe*, *think*, or *respond*.

I was *broken*.

Those girls, my fated *enemies*, had *broken me*.

"My mother is **dead**, don't you get it?! She has been for **YEARS**! My father doesn't give a **damn about me**, he doesn't even ***LOVE ME***! I don't ***HAVE PARENTS***. I only have *myself*!"

I was fully *isolated* from humanity. A girl that time forgot. What weren't the girls choosing to *understand* that this *was* my life? My reality? *My waking dream*?

I had shed my exoskeleton - they were seeing the me I *didn't* want them to see.

I was giving the enemy the victory. I had essentially *surrendered*.

Auburn Hair shared a knowing, but worried glance with Black Hair, whispering, "Oh...oh my god..." Black Hair faced me, a reassuring smile etched on her face, and delicately, she let her thoughts be free.

"Hey, ssh. You're alright. We understand now. Losing a parent, especially both, is never *easy* to deal with or get over. You're still grieving. But we're good people, and if you wanna reach out to us, you can do that! It won't do you any harm to let some negativity off your shoulders."

I began to understand Auburn Hair's sudden flares of confidence and resolve, and backed by her friend's words, she tacked on the advice to a confused, distressed me. "You can tell us! It's fine!"

Black Hair held out her hand toward me, nodding.

A *hand*. Given to *me*.

The last time I ever held somebody's hand, *that person would end up betraying me and staging my attempted murder*.

I knew this memory. I *knew* what they wanted. Give myself up, then *kill me*. It would only just keep happening the more I allowed bullies and imbeciles beat me up and leave my corpse out to dry in the sun.

What was in front of me flickered, and I saw the outstretched hand of *Father*, turning red, morphing from raw flesh and bone to make *Dani's hand*.

*NO!*

Impulse took control, and swallowed by a chain-reaction of roaring *fires*, I rose to my feet, abandoning my choice weapon and swatting away Black Hair's hand with a violent *slap*. You want to play the hand game with me, and *you'll live to regret ever trying to deceive me*.

"***I DON'T WANT YOUR GODDAMN SYMPATHY***!" Both girls, pale as apparitions, jumped into the shelf and *now* realized that they were in peril. I *was* going to give them *hell*.

Sympathy was *meritless* for me. I was *fine* on my own. They needed to *get out* and quit standing around like a bunch of cattle witnessing their friends getting executed.

"You **ONLY ATTEMPTED TO RUIN MY LIFE**! That's who you *are*! Meddling in my business, looking through *my things*, acting like this is *your house*. You **do not belong here**. You're just putrid **scum**!"

Would you be shocked if I told you that they were *immune* to every threat I gave?

"We never wanted to ruin your life!" retorted Black Hair, shaking her head in sincerity. "We only wanted to *know* you better! I was hesitant about this too, but as I stand here, my friend proved to be right! You're in *need* of someone... you've been putting a burden on yourself. It pains you. Let us in, and we can help you with the *pain*!"

*Burden...? Is she... is she glimpsing it?*

Was Black Hair getting to my level? That could be, and I almost let my shoulders fall, but then I remembered that these two were *still strangers* who had done absolutely nothing but *argue* with *bizarre tactics* and had *broken in*. *Wielded* my *belongings*.

Letting them in *would be the end of the book*. This war was still *live*.

Befuddlement became *outrage*, and I was honed in on the targets.

"You **don't understand it**, you freaks! I *don't* want to be ever be found. Being lost is *my thing*. In fact, I *love* it when I'm lost. I don't need you bozos following me around like puppies. You're only here because you want to **RUIN** *my way* of life!"

How could they ever understand me? They never would. It should have been over a long time ago.

I should've seen that this had entered a stalemate when I had my breakdown in front of them.

They *weren't* going to leave.

"I want you to know something, stranger," said Auburn Hair, her tone soft, and gentle, like the feathers of a hummingbird. A softness that, as of late, was rarely reciprocated to me...

"I'm still the one who wanted to pursue you. Ever since I laid my eyes on you, there was something about you that *fascinated* me! When I noticed you sitting so gloomy, looking at that photo, I never felt such a drive to help anyone than on the day I first met my best friend. I don't like to see people so downcast and upset. All I wanted to do for you was *help you* - that's what me and my friend strived to *do*!"

I blinked, and the picture became clear. So this was Auburn Hair, a befriender with a happy-go-lucky and (*very*) naive personality. She had wanted to help me, as she claimed, and her friend was with her. The two had been friends for a *long* time.

My heart tightened, and stunned, I realized I was feeling *jealousy*. I *envied* the girls.

*They're best friends, and I have nothing...*

*These two... they're too docile. Too sympathetic... they aren't my foes.*

"I agree with my friend. You may not see it in me, but I cannot possibly *imagine* what you went through, losing your mother so young and having a father turn you away... I feel your pain and can understand it. Grief is powerful, it drives us to do things, for better or for worse," Black Hair surmised with just as much consideration and gentleness, her words a puff of cloud colliding with my nose.

*She understands... they BOTH understand.*

I stared at them with saucer-eyes, and I lowered my finger, granting the two room to breathe - they'd *earned* that, and they earned some more stable ground to stand on. But we weren't through with each other, and there was still a great divide between us.

Their lives? Ideal. *Perfect*. They had everything. I was running on *hired help*, *intuition*, and a web of dreams I strung into one, all of which coinciding with the inner peace and thrill I had being alone.

Black Hair wasn't done with her speech, and I remained silent, my head tilt being the sole indicator that I was valuing her words for what they were worth.

"For someone like you, you have so much tenacity in you. You're bold, quick to leap into action and fight. And you're courageous. I take it you're not one to go down in a duel. Those traits are traits I seriously *respect*, man, even more so when I consider that you're living such a wild lifestyle."

Her words were tender. An olive branch she had offered me.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again: we *don't* want to be your *enemies*. I understand following you, approaching you, and stepping foot into your cabin was a terrible mistake... we violated your privacy. For that, we're sorry. From the bottom of our hearts. If we could have handled this better, we would."

*She apologized... for violating my privacy?*

Black Hair sounded *somber*. Still *tender*. And she was willing to admit this could have been handled *differently*?

I had *never* seen someone be so *brutally honest* with me. Be this *open*. Willing to admit *wrongdoing*. They were... *good*.

That still wouldn't change the fact our lifestyles clashed. I fought with fictional beings and nature on my side, and they didn't even have to fight, presumably spoiled and having *wondrous* parents while I had *none* of the sort.

And at the same time, Black Hair *commended* my traits? *Praised* me? I... I hadn't been praised by *anyone* in *forever*, sans Rex, but... someone *respected me*?

*This was a misunderstanding... I was too rash to condemn these girls. They're not contraband... but we aren't the same.*

"Funny you're being tender, idiot," I muttered under my breath, snorting. "You and your friend actually *have* a life. Perfect lives. I *don't*. I barely have enough food and water to sometimes *survive*."

Hear me out, I was a *bit* dramatic here... I was fine, but in a constant fight for survival. You know what I mean.

Auburn Hair saw my frame, pretty fed, but also thin, and she gazed up at me warmly, dipping her head in a show of respect. "You're wrong. Sometimes, we don't get what we want. You might believe that because you're pretty disconnected from the world. However... none of our lives are *perfect*. I... I get bullied occassionally, and it's been bad before, so it's a sore subject for me to talk about. I hate it when I'm bullied and treated like nothing, it's just hard to break free from the strain."

*She's been bullied like me???* Thinking about it, Auburn Hair *was* soft, which could have left her vulnerable. Obviously not a major negative trait, but... I began to *see*. My heart was beginning to *bloom*.

"Rotten people perceive my friend as weak, yes," Black Hair chimed in, wrapping an arm around Auburn Hair, who glanced at her approvingly, a spark shining in her green eyes. "But I'm not perfect either. I don't have the best relationship with my mom. She loves me in her own unique way, but sometimes, we clash over our differing ideals. But hey, we deal with stuff and remain standing. That's part of life."

*Both have conflicts. Their own struggles. They're wise... and compassionate...*

I was *confused*.

I was meant to believe these two were *enemies*. *Legit* threats to my namesake, my home, and *everything else*... and instead, they *atoned* for their mistake, *diffused* the ticking time bomb in me, and *apologized*. Got down and saw me eye-to-eye. Made *peace*, not *war*. Regretted what they started and just wanting me to be... *happy*.

Wanting me to *smile*. Showing *kindness*.

Kindness, rare as water in the desert oasis...

*These aren't people who want to hurt me. They... they like me.* Their smiles made this new clarity glimmer with a distinctive sheen, similar to the shine of morning dew on flower petals. *I haven't experienced such kindness in a long time.*

I wouldn't smile myself, however - I had come to *understand*. But these two weren't just going to be forced out. I'd *scared* them and convinced them that they were going to *perish* at the hands of a complicated, traumatized young teen, *the exact same age as them no less*. I couldn't be the average reclusive me and scream and torture them *more*. No. Neither of them *deserved that*.

They deserved *repayment* - no more stalling, no more bluffs, no more lies. If they had wanted to ease my suffering and let me blossom, let me cave and share every time the world had put me under siege, I owed them my story.

I grabbed my key, locking us all in under one roof. They burrowed together, assuming that I was about to surprise-flick an imaginary cape and reveal that it was all a handy-dandy trap.

Nah. That stuff is to enchant the kiddos. I don't deal with kiddos.

"Sit," I ordered tersely, and they obeyed with a single heartbeat, staring up at me and following me as I sat down near them, facing my lap.

Well, *this* was what it was going to come to. Opening up to *strangers* who had only known for me for... what, an *hour*? *Why* had it come to *this*?

I was telling *everything* to *strangers*. Was this self-sabotage or did the world desire for me to *socialize*, something I had despised *endlessly*?

"Why does life have to be like this..." I uttered, messing with my fingers, and I sensed the laid-back gaze of Black Hair.

"Because life is never fair," she responded, and I met her with dried eyes, itching from the sobfest of earlier. "Life is harsh. Life doesn't give us the opportunity to catch our breath. As humans, we find the strength to go on. Rise up. Be stronger. It's a cycle that has been going for years. We may not get what we always want, but hey... it'll work out in the end if we just give it a try."

*Is this girl a goddamn philosopher?* I tore away my unfeeling eyes, returning them to the *very* entertaining sight of my lap. Silence hung heavy. The words rose in my throat, and I chucked them out. No point in playing any more games. I had an audience, and they were listening.

"I planned on having a normal day before you two chose to interrupt that. Things are upside down. Yet... I see that you don't pose a threat to me. You're too soft to look like murderers."

That was true, and things were spinning, out of place, disorganized. My roots, off the ground. My memories, ghost lights in the air, hovering in the hands of the girls. My cabin, a shelter for the unexpected, for the upturn of the life I'd come to know.

Oh, *why was I here*?

"I have my... issues. With the two of you. You tried prying into my personal business. Put yourselves where neither of you belonged. Tried looking *at* my things. Above all, I hate that. But... you proved to me that I was wrong about you two. You aren't malicious and you don't want to hurt me. So... in return, I guess you deserve to know who I *really* am."

I was *doing this*. I was going to *tell them*.

A thousand risks could happen. A thousand *things* could happen. Everything could blow up in my face and kill me... or everything would align, and I'd actually have *something* I could fight for.

I was either sacrificing my dignity and solitude, or earning something I never even realized would be an *improvement*.

In order for these two girls to *learn* about me, though, they had to do *one more thing*.

Pivoting toward them as fast as a whip crack, I bore into them with an icy glare. "Do you two **PROMISE** to not tell another soul about what I'm going to tell you?"

They nodded with an additional thumbs-up. That was... surprisingly easy.

The oath was sealed.

"*Good*. Say one word, and I'll *kill you*. *Ugly* kill."

"Sheesh, can you cut it out with the violence?" Auburn Hair asked in protest. Leave it to Auburn Hair to ruin the moment and spike my irritation.

"Gah! You're so irritating..."

Black Hair, silencing her (what a *relief*), let her eyes rest on mine, all peaceful, and I felt my hairs standing down.

"Okay. Now that these waters are calm... would you like to tell us your name?"

*My name*. They were about to *know*.

About to *wield*.

Was I ready to give up and fully cave?

What if something went *wrong*? What if this backfired, and this meeting was all part of a ploy to *destroy me*?

*No. They've already given enough evidence to clear them as innocent. I gotta stop trying to demonize them.*

The cabin was quaint and locked up. We were alone together. No one was listening.

With that, I forced myself to let go, and there was no turning back.

"My name is Winterlyn. Winterlyn McCormick is my full name. But, I go by Winter, so I'd prefer if you would just call me that."

Nothing happened. The moment was pure.

"Your name is pretty!"

Thanks, Auburn Hair, for *once again* sticking into my side, the thorn you were.

"Don't hit on me." The idiot shut herself up, and that was that.

Now it was my turn to tell my story, through every detail, through the storm, through *whatever* these two wanted to hear.

Whatever lit their ears with awe.

*It's like I'm stuck in some hellish nightmare, but I have to keep doing this. If they want to see the real me, I have to tell them everything. Somehow.*

*Am I just dreaming? No. I'm not dreaming. This is reality, Winter.*

*And I need to tell them the truth. I can't hide it from them anymore.*

The truth is wholly what both received in the minutes following.

I had told the girls everything, from birth to where I was now, through the pain, the reminiscence on the good and the bad, and the absolutely ugly aspects that tore my life apart and then squeezed it back together again.

Or, rather, what the girls *needed* to know. The fact was, I had *omitted some information* from them.

I did not mention Daniela by name once, fearing the girls may have been familiar with her, and *that* would cause a crap ton of issues I wasn't even prepared to face. They only knew I had an *ex*, a *girl*, and that I was a lesbian.

They surprised me when they openly accepted my lesbianism and everything queer about me, mentioning a series that they liked that had queer characters. Wow, I *wasn't* alone here!

Not only that, but they fully understood my relationship with Daniela, even if they didn't receive her name.

I didn't tell them I once thought I was transgender, though. That can of worms was currently being microwaved.

I also did not mention I was a student at PMS and that the principal - a principal who actively *dissolved her own rules* to keep me afloat and protected from the world's danger - was my only ally.

They didn't learn of Daniela's vendetta against me, Lars being the purpetrator of the Snowblind bullying, that I followed religion in my youth, and any other thing that was too personal to disclose to them.

They *listened*. Fully, giving me undivided attention. The oohs at the good, the sadness and condolences with the depression. The occassional hiccup from both when they bothered my space or did an action I *greatly* disapproved of, but otherwise, being fully supportive, earnest, and positive.

What kind of jackass was I for assuming these two were *evil*? They *weren't* evil! They were *friendly*!

Buffoons, but *kind* ones. Ones with great intentions and outspoken minds.

When I'd reached the end and was able to suck in a breath, wipe away the tears, accept I wasn't fighting for my life, relax in this bubble... I felt *weight* just *lift* into the sky.

Someone cleared their throat. It was Black Hair, and jolted, I was compelled to meet her face.

"Okay, wow. This is quite a lot to take in for the two of us. What we've heard was disturbing, remarkable, astonishing, and a *lot* for us to handle - especially because you aren't like the average person we've met before. Despite what you may believe, we are **not** the people who've wronged you and scarred you."

*You definitely aren't.*

Pulling Auburn Hair into a side-hug, she spoke sweetly, hooking me on her words. "We don't despise you for any reason, *and* we don't think you're ugly in any way. Winter... you're actually quite the *unique* person! You have a rare, pretty name, a nice style, and you do things your own way. You're bold. You would leap into flames to save yourself and not care about the damage. That alone makes me respect a person exactly like you."

*Respect.*

*She thinks I'm unique?*

Black Hair *liked* me. She liked my traits. She liked my *appearance*.

*I've... never been so loved in my life...*

"You mean it?" I questioned hopefully, drumming my hands on my thighs. There was a glow inside me, and butterflies, and hummingbirds, and *life*. Praise was so hard to come by, and I had to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find it. To hear Black Hair tell me this wasn't just satisfying... it was *liberating*.

*She's so kind... so understanding... she and her friend are seriously not an enemy at all! They... care about me!*

Black Hair nodded, grinning fondly. "Nothing can describe how much bullying *infuriates* me. It's gross. Disgusted me since was I young. When I first met my friend, she was getting bullied. After that, I became more protective over those I care for the most, and you're now included in that mix."

Exuberantly, Auburn Hair joined in as well, adding, "You're a badass when it comes to your knife! Knowing how to handle one... now that's somethin' legendary! And I still like your hair... it's a pretty style. I'm not hitting on you, before you screech at me and attempt to kill me. Just a compliment." Small hand wave for emphasis.

Did she really even need it to sell me, though? Warmly, I smiled, a little lopsided, since I hadn't smiled at strangers in an *eerily* long time. "T-Thanks."

*I was wrong about you being annoying. You're just as great as your friend,* I thought. Auburn Hair had her ways and was, at most, *incredibly goofy*. She probably gave Black Hair a ton of trouble with her shenanigans.

"Question. If you're a lesbian, why are your tips dyed in bisexual flag colors?"

Oh, Auburn Hair, you idiot. Always asking impractical, random questions... that I was inclined to answer? Was there a hole in my heart *already*?

"I had a *feeling* you would ask that," I replied, not concealing the blush on my cheeks. "It wasn't related to anything bi or my ex-girlfriend. It's merely style preference. Wouldn't change a thing otherwise."

And that was that. I opened up a curtain, letting a dim light filter in from the outside. It had gotten darker. Was it going to rain later? Had *that* much time passed? I should have analyzed the forecast more carefully earlier, but oh well. Can't stop nature from naturing.

I loosened myself up and unlocked the door. The girls needed to head home in case it started raining (they wouldn't want to be stuck in a cabin with someone they'd only known for an hour), and I needed peace and mind to think about *this*.

Having *more people* in my life, *my age*, *know* me, be *heartwarming*... I had to *think*.

Black Hair and Auburn Hair got up, knowing it was time to depart. I turned to them over my shoulder.

"It's been... a time chatting with you. But I need to go back out, get some air, and think about where things stand between you and me. Also... I misjudged you two. You aren't my enemies, but really... I can view you as allies after today."

I felt my heart expand with the truth. It hurt to face the truth and spread it to the other two, but I felt *understood*. Strangely *validated*. To think this stemmed from a series of personal blunders too? Wild. Destiny worked in mysterious ways.

"It's an honor. Thanks, Winter," Black Hair stated.

"I can say the same!" Auburn Hair purred, her look becoming more thoughtful. "Although, I have another question... do you go to Pineshadow Middle School?"

*PMS*. I *froze*.

I had omitted PMS from my story for a *reason* - these two were students there, and they could potentially piece everything together and dig in deep - or worse, *abandon* me.

Yet Auburn Hair and Black Hair were just so *kind*, and so *different* from the rest, and my heart was clenching. They weren't *that* bad... and I could see them again.

*Do I want to see them again?* A *thump* against my ribcage. Surely it couldn't be *that* wrong to inform the girls?

I nodded hesitantly. "Yeah. I do. I'm thirteen."

"We're thirteen too!"

Black Hair was looking thoughtful too, tapping her finger against her chin and straightening her glasses.

"That's wonderful! Hmm... Winter, I thought of something for you. How about you walk with us to school on Monday? We'd protect you from harm and the Snowblind bullying. All of it, I promise."

*A promise to protect me...?*

Black Hair had made a *huge* offer - one that could *change the game*. One I couldn't *refuse*.

*The last time I walked with someone, it was my ex... the last time I truly was safe.*

Daniela was the *last* person I walked with, had stand by my side. She ended up betraying me, watching me abused and left on the killing floor to rot, be infested with flesh-eating maggots.

It was the *last time* I ever had *protection*.

*I barely know these two.*

*But if I could get a reprieve from the bullying with their help and devotion... then I'll take that chance to heart.*

"Deal. I'm getting used to you two already," I agreed, allowing myself to beam with the brightness of the sun, now hidden behind the clouds. I had *protection*.

*Meaningful* connections. Two people in my life who were *worthwhile*, even if we didn't have level perspectives.

Everything was resolved, and from a misunderstanding came *acquaintances*. Didn't realize that a scuffle over stalking would come to *this*, but I wasn't going to complain anymore. Tonight, I'd be sleeping contentfully under the stars, thinking about what life could be.

I put my hand on the doorknob, ready to let Black Hair and Auburn Hair leave, and then I realized with dread...

*I didn't let the girls introduce themselves to me! Christ...*

Who *were* they, exactly? If I remembered correctly, one was named Evie, but I couldn't decipher who was who.

"Hold on... I didn't give you two the opportunity to introduce yourselves to me. What are your names?"

Black Hair stepped forward, her dark green eyes ripe with determination. "I'm Evie Ly." Evie offered her hand to me, and I shook it tentatively, relieved to find it warm and sturdy, unlike the previous hands I held in a past life.

*That felt so... awesome.* Handshakes were so welcoming. Was I acting based on gumption at this point? Nada. For what it was worth... holding another human's hand after so long was *reinvigorating*.

"And *I'm* Evie's bestie, Mya Heartley!" Without warning, Mya yanked me into a *clumsy* hug, causing me to blush and become still as a statue. Her hands, *on me*. Being *touched*.

Being *hugged*. A delicacy not experienced since the *olden days*. Mixed signals pinged off me, and my limbs were *locked*. *Stiff*.

*Help... too awkward... not used to this... feeling.*

Luckily, Mya was keen just as much as she was exuberant, and she pulled back, awkwardly blushing with tomato splotches on her face. She let out a tiny chuckle. "Heh, sorry. I get a little too overexcited hugging sometimes."

Mya reminded me very much of the potato me in my youth, squealing at *everything* nature and *everything* fun... how could I keep putting up a stink with her when she was just being a joyful kid?

My heart wasn't as cloaked with stone as I thought. "Not a problem," I assured her, opening up the door and taking an excited *leap* off the steps. Trailing after me were the girls.

They waved me goodbye, each with watermelon-sugar smiles, and went through the Piney Woods to where they belonged. My gaze lingered after the mysterious two, and slowly, I came to terms with *today*. This *afternoon*.

Standing here, breathing in, breathing out, the turmoil became planted underneath the tilled soil. My heart, usually weighted so heavy, battered and cracked from onslaughts of bullying, smashed to pieces and rebuilt from glass only meant to shatter, was *light*.

*Featherweight*.

Having told trustworthy people about *me*, my *trauma*, letting that energy just *go*, brought me *liberty*. Liberty, I say! To think that having liberty was of a bygone era is outrageous to me now. Have I not preached about how peace can be found before?

I was a bird - maybe rather small, like a hummingbird - but in spirit, big as an owl, gliding under the nebula of stars and feeling their warmth tip the wings. I was *loose*. I had *autonomy*.

Freedom was finally finding the courage to open up to likeminded minds my age, letting go of biases and fears that everything would backfire and lead to my demise. Was I being possessed? Was this straight out of *The Exorcist*? Had the stars blinded me to the truth?

No.

Was I enjoying the thrill of an endless nightmare?

I always lived in one, but still, no.

Was this all just a dream, and was I about to wake up to another dark day of being told I was *Snowblind*, the fool so blind to reality that she was tumbling down a *mountain* of humiliation?

Three strikes. *No*.

Evie and Mya had taught me to *breathe* again. To be *honest*. To *confide*. They'd taught me that not *everyone*, no matter what I believed or was influenced by, was a *nemesis*.

There were truly lights in the dark, little fireflies, flares of a *fire*, that *liked me*.

I shut my eyes, inhaling the peaceful Piney Woods. The wind, and soon, the light rain shower, consumed me whole, and my veins were alight with a *rainbow* of *contrivance*.

It wasn't long before Monday came, and it was a day where I was actually somewhat *stoked*, dare I say *stoked* in this context, for *school*.

I got up, ate a fuller breakfast (Mya would rag on me if she kept seeing me so thin), brushed and prepared, got dressed, and then I was off.

The shadowy corner underneath the pillar awaited me, and I ducked under it. It was early. Was Daniela snooping? I didn't hesitate to glance left and then right, but there was no blue sweater and no shiny black bun. I suppose Daniela hadn't tried an early morning blitz since post-Talking of the Axes, but I couldn't rule it out.

Important rule of the Winterlyn McCormick lifestyle: *constant vigilance is better safe than sorry*.

Five minutes passed, and I heard the familiar tapdance of footsteps. Evie and Mya appeared, all smiles, and I smiled too, albeit awkwardly (speaking to company after total isolation is... something). Rubbing off on me, and it hadn't even been a full week. Evie and Mya were full of *something* good.

With them by my side, we walked in, and from here, I expected smooth sailing. A clear path to the gym, safeguarded from harm and the bullying. Lars and his clique were absent, their efforts to prowl sidetracked. None of the Snowblind bullies were around, and if they were, they didn't pay any mind.

Pineshadow Middle School was *safe*.

Safe until *she* blocked the way to the gym, smirking as she analyzed us with a familiar meticulousness, dressed in her self-iconic outfit.

And she didn't have *one* skimpy target, but a *triple threat* to pick on. Daniela had just won the *lottery*.

My heart, featherweight for less than a few days, was now *heavyweight*, crashing to the pit of my stomach and sinking in the *acid*.

I did *nothing*, just *froze*, begging for supernatural forces to teleport me elsewhere, *anywhere* but here, but this *school*, but *any* place that Daniela *dominated*.

She licked her lips, pleasurably antagonizing Evie first. Evie wasn't *shocked*, or even *alarmed*, by Daniela's jeer of a greeting, instead coming back at her with *seething* rage. She seemed *prepared* for this. *Conditioned* for this.

It hit me, fast and *lethal*.

*Evie knows Daniela. They have history...*

And the look in Mya's eyes communicated that she, too, had history with Daniela. The latter herself then emphasized this, and Mya's terrified, shrunken form was enough for me to start *panicking*.

*If they know her... I can't be here!*

I had to *run*. Evie and Mya knew Daniela, and that would bring *trouble*. I started to back up, believing Daniela was distracted with the two girls.

But Daniela was *painfully* clever, always more hypervigilant of her prey and surroundings than me, and she *saw me* attempting to *escape*. Her prey, fleeing to live another day, was enough for her to punch a *hole* through an entire *mountain*.

She gained the speed of a *peregrine falcon*, lunging toward me and gripping my throat before Evie and Mya could even *blink* and grasp the extent of the situation. We were *face-to-face*, and I met *blazing* hellfire, hot to the touch and ready to *blow*.

If this wasn't much of a toxic present, I saw Evie and Mya watching in horror, reading the conversation and sharing the same emotions, same fears, same process.

*They were catching on*.

*No! Evie and Mya can't figure out we dated each other! I have to get away from her and play this off!*

I squirmed desperately, but Daniela's grip was too tight, practically ironclad. She'd lose her plaything if she let me go prematurely, and by letting go so soon, she'd *lose* a *full course meal* of *sadism*.

"What was that little Houdini move there, *McCormick*? Or should I say, ***Snowblind***!?" she hissed, spitting cyanide at my face, and it *burned*. I had gone mute, and thereby gave Daniela what she *wanted*.

Evie and Mya thought I was an *unstoppable brute*, and now that was quite the opposite. I was proving to be a *notorious coward*.

A notorious coward named *Snowblind*, at that. And I didn't tell them Daniela was aware of *all of this*.

Circuits popped in my head. Ice was splintering. Fires were burning. It had been days, and I was *suffocated* by the fear that I was about to lose Evie and Mya *already*. I could *never* humiliate myself like this in front of them! I had to do *something*!

"Let me go!" I snarled, but the execution made me shrink. I sounded *weak*. *Miserable*. *Pleading*. The three combined was a cocktail Daniela could drink *twenty-four hours a week*.

She squeezed my throat *harder*, nails cutting into my flesh like knives, and I grunted. Evie and Mya were *striken* with panic flu, and it was only going to descend into a nightmare faster.

This was *not* how I wanted to introduce Evie and Mya to my world.

"Last I checked, you weren't friends with Miss Sunshine and Smartypants. Last I checked, I had *unfinished business* with you. Did the lonesome little *Snowblind* choose to gain *friends* just to *protect herself* from *me*?"

"Let me *go*, Daniela!" I repeated desperately, gasping for air and feeling compressed from the ground up, under the light of the dome, under the gaze of Evie and Mya, under the arsonist fire Daniela brought to the table.

Her words were *ringing*, *buzzing* in my ears. Was she going to pitch to Evie and Mya that I was *using them* for *protection*?

*I'm not using them! They can't possibly believe that!*

They wouldn't. They were horrified and were staring at me, but it wasn't the look of *we know you're a liar*. It was *concern*. They were *worried*.

We were in a *nightmare*. *My nightmare*, too early. This was *humiliating*. An *opera* of misfortune and agony. My heart was overinflated, making my chest swelter. I wasn't breathing enough air. I *needed* release.

Evie and Mya ripped their stares off and turned to the door to Rex's office. They had *something* in mind. Were they going to grovel to Rex?

Nevertheless, time was ticking until class started, and for Daniela, she had no foxes to give.

"Winterlyn, you *honestly* thought that gaining some *security* would stop all those *bullies* from mocking you with that name? Thinking it would stop **ME**? Then you really *are* blind, ***SNOWBLIND***!" With an effortless *flick*, she had raised me off the ground, made me *levitate*.

Her eyes *overpowered* mine. My strength, *stolen* from me, handed to her. A vulture that consumed the dead carrion in her hands, a gift from the *heavens*. Best of all, she came gift-wrapped with *rivals*.

This was only my second day with Evie and Mya, and I'd proved to be a *liar*. A liar with *messy*, *bloody* history, about to come undone at Daniela's fingers. She was ready to *pull the trigger* and light the *fire*.

I shut my eyes, preparing to say goodbye to friendship yet again...

Suddenly, Daniela dropped me, and I landed on the ground. Confused, I shook my head, gasping, and saw her barreling toward Mya, causing me to gasp; she seized Mya's arm *violently*.

"**YOU MEDDLING PRICK, HEARTLEY**!" she belted, morphing into a *vindictive* lioness with blood-stained teeth, and she screamed at her, shaking her, demanding a response the timid Mya wouldn't give.

Beside me, Evie was cracking her *knuckles*. Ready to *fight*. She and Mya were *used* to Daniela. They *knew her*. My head was *spinning*.

I was hardly thinking, my brain trapped in smog. Daniela's confrontation with me and the *knowledge* behind the two sets of green eyes told me *I was screwed*. When this was said and done, Evie and Mya would have *questions*.

They *couldn't* get the answers! They couldn't figure out I once *loved* someone who was a *monster*!

A monster that, right now, was telling Mya that she was going to bludgeon her and tear her body apart piece by piece, mutilate her and stain the tile floor with *blood*. A certain promise so revolting I felt a hand clutch my stomach, ears *singed*.

This had to stop. The world was blurring. Everything darkened. I needed to *run*. Just *run*. Get *away* from Evie and Mya and *quickly*.

"Cover your ears," I heard Evie instruct me through the noise, and I obeyed. She then screamed for Rex, and then a thousand eyes were dancing around us.

Dancing around *me*. These people *could know me*.

Rex, bellowing Daniela's full name, stormed out of the office, and caught my eye. She saw me, Evie, and Mya, and knew what had transpired.

For a moment, there was pity in her eyes, and shock, and dismay. A subtle, deft flick of her finger pointed me to the gym.

And without hesitation, I *bolted*, past Evie and Mya, past Daniela, who was now being berated just as violently as she'd bullied me and the girls, and past every student who *stared* at me, made the world bob and spin, and made the school feel like it was in *hell* and not on mortal land.

I sailed past the gym doors and ducked into the tangled marsh underneath the bleachers, hand on my heart, breathing frantically, hidden by shadow. No one could find me, not Evie and Mya. They wouldn't see me here.

I panted, head hot, pricked with guilt, a heart overwhelmed and in disrepair. Darkness, warning that it would choke me, take my life in the aftermath of this wildfire.

And with only two minutes to sit there, in shadow, close to sobbing and ripping cobwebs apart with bare, scarred hands, I was taken *aback* by guilt. *Regret*.

Way to go, Winter. You're so much of a coward you just *blindside* your new friends with *no explanation*. I didn't even bother asking if they were okay. I *failed*.

They were going to hate me. I couldn't communicate, couldn't defend, couldn't be the *hero* they *thought* I was.

So much for *actually* getting a new start to life.

I didn't know where things would stand in the next few days. Would Evie and Mya *hate* me for abandoning them and high-tailing it? For not standing my ground against Daniela, concealing her identity from them?

There was *trouble* afoot, and *not* the trouble I had qualms with.

Trouble had brought me far away

More than a soul ever could be

The rest of the day, I blended into the shadows and into my classes, ducking away from the open, where Evie and Mya couldn't spot me or seek me out. I didn't *want* to see them.

This wasn't rejection, no. I just... I wasn't *ready* to confront them and explain what happened.

Oh, yes, I was facing off with my *nefarious ex-girlfriend* who had helped to *slaughter* my reputation all around my school and also was *you guys' bully*? Sure, that would fly with them. I itched with the growing paranoia that they'd *loathe me*.

Tension was pulled under the floor

Under a love that was no more

What *were* Evie and Mya even thinking of me at the moment? That I was a frightened chicken that couldn't speak her own mind? That I'd lied to them? Proven to be a snake-oil salesman with nothing to give?

It made me shiver, hold myself, the last piece of me, in place. If I'd lost them, I'd have to draw back from *everything*. Repeat the same things. I'd get high, feel the clouds, and then be reminded of my sad, mournful reality, where I was nothing and just supposed to be forgotten in the fray.

My constant thinking, constant pacing, constant hugging, constant *fear* that my newfound friends would *hate me* bogged me down in my sleep. What was a flood of thoughts became a *legion of manifestations* in my nightmares.

Another world I have been thrown into

I'd see the outlines of Evie and Mya, with narrowed, whited eyes, staring at me, circling at me. Kicking dirt on the open wounds, inflicting bruises, tethering me to the ground.

Spitting that they wanted nothing to do with me. That I was a liar. Liars deserved the pain they bought, and deserved to reap what they sowed.

I'd blink awake, sweating, restless, to find it wasn't real, and I'd go back to biting off my fingernails, worrying that this was *indeed* real.

And I was cured, yet my heart still longed for you

The nightmares repeated. Bitterly pointing out that I was *only* in a dream, and *always* in a nightmare. A waking dream wasn't going to be lived without the *drama*. The *agony*.

And thinking about it, were they people I could call *friends*? So *quick*? Was I *too* accepting?

Were Evie and Mya going to be loyal to me and back their promises? Or since I had been embarrassed, had they taken Daniela's suggestion that I was using them? Was I just to be discarded and bullied, never to be trusted by *anyone*?

The trouble is, when I arose

I started towards a new place I could go

Eventually, the tension built to a point where all I was thinking about was Evie and Mya, pulling me away from class, laughing at me, thinking *lowly* of me, throwing the tomatoes and chairs at me for *cowardice*. For being a *liar*.

For *failing*, and being the *lynchpin* of all failures.

I couldn't stand it. I had to converse with the person at the scene of the crime the last time I met the eyes of Evie and Mya.

I had always seen the potential

And somehow I knew I would get there alone

After school not long after the brawl with Daniela, I headed into her office and knocked on her door.

"Yes?"

I came in, and she brightened, tapping her fingers on the desk. "Winter!"

Another life I was just starting to recognize

Grabbing a chair and settling down, backpack dropped to the side, I sat down and twiddled with my thumbs, not catching her blue eyes. "Hey."

"What's up? You seem downhearted," Rex observed, staring off to the left hand corner of the room.

"I'm fairly certain you know what this is about," I responded.

And then I dreamt I was looking into your eyes

"What happened a few days ago?" I nodded stiffly, explaining my wacky, out-of-this-world, and *enraged* encounter with Evie and Mya, and how they'd come to succeed in dismantling my walls and sympathizing with me, giving me solace and comfort I hadn't had since the start of my middle school years. Hearing this news had made Rex brim with *glee*, and she put a hand near mine, not touching. Her blue eyes were alight with *relief*, and importantly, *pride*.

"Oh, Winter... you don't realize how delightful hearing this is. You've grown up so much from the bedraggled young girl you were last year, and to see you've made friends, letting your heart open to the kindness of strangers... you've made *sensational* choices. Evie and Mya are among my *favorite pupils* at this school, and they're my Office Aides. In fact, I'm debating promoting them as we speak!"

*Bombshell*. Evie and Mya were *popular* and had Rex's *heart*. If they were this well-regarded... then my chances of keeping them were *solid*. "Really?"

And that's the trouble, I'm not in love

"Believe me, Winter, if I talked about the feats of those two, we'd be here all day! In shorthand, Evie's a *prodigy*. Her mother, hmm, she speaks *very* fondly of her. Evie always meets high expectations, and she never has any off day. She's a perfectionist. As for Mya, she's had her rough spots here and there, but she's the school's comedian. Whatever adversity she faces is challenged by comedy, wit, and flowery language. I don't think you've lost them at all from the confrontation with Daniela - I just think you should reach out to them again."

"Are you sure? I... I *blindsided* them, and they'd be undoubtably mad at me..."

"I'm sure, Winter. Evie and Mya aren't like my daughter. They don't hold grudges, they hold *faith*. Value. Patience. You name it. There is *no divide* between you and the girls if you have the bravery needed to clear the ravine and land on the other side. You'll live to never regret connecting to them, I promise."

"How do you know?"

And that's the trouble, I could not fall

"There is something you can do that'll help you bond with them, but you'll need to speak with your counselor about it, if you agree to do it..."

Which is why, just a day after our relieving heart-to-heart, I was led to the counselor's office on a clear day, the last day before the snow would fall and blanket Pineshadow in white. Mrs. Zannipus, wobbling with her cane, took a seat in her chair, half of her mouth an etch of a frown.

I was making a *sacrifice* - it would come with risks just as much as rewards.

"Yes, child? What do you want?" she demanded, irritably scratching her nose.

"Could I please have the following periods switched on my schedule?"

"Why?"

"Encouragement from Principal Rex, Mrs. Zannipus."

"Hmph, if Rex has given you top recommendation, I don't see why not. Just don't ask for another schedule change this year, hmmph."

After that talk, I mulled over such a *sweeping*, *impactful* move, one that could potentially change the entire *course* of the school year.

All for Evie and Mya - but was there a price I was going to pay for switching?

Another high, I had never felt before

Another lie, I had trouble living by

I had Rex's own personal testimony that Evie and Mya were *amazing*, *star* students. They weren't *ordinary*.

Evie was vastly intelligent, just as intelligent as Daniela. Mya was a comedian with the cards hidden underneath her jacket, but she fought the darkness with laughter, silly quips, and wit at her fingertips.

Could they reaffirm their dedication and commitment to me?

And that's the trouble, I'm not in love

I dwelled upon this, tugged by my heart, as I entered the gym the next day, a snowy, gray-cloud morning. Contrary to my routine, I passed my typical hiding spot in the bleachers. I wouldn't be returning to the night marsh, the stifling blackness, under there. My mind was thinking of the *possibilities*, made more *possible*. The probabilities were lining up.

Would my efforts to switch classes be a success? Or would it be an epic failure, and I'd just end up having a class with Daniela, who'd be glorious that I'd waltzed into her bear traps, ripe for the taking?

I walked past hollering boys, girls focusing on the Takis and looking glamorous, and ascended up the steps, walking to a desolate corner that nobody bothered sitting at.

And that's the trouble, I could not fall

Would Evie and Mya see me for who I was? Further validate me? Extend their loyalties?

My trouble wasn't like being in *love*. It wasn't dueling the shadows, killing the ghosts and demons and vultures.

The trouble was in *my heart* - was I willing to accept other people being in my life, people my age, and entrust them with my privacy and security?

And that's the trouble, I'm not in love

Had I just made a sacrifice that would only make me keep falling, keep losing, and keep impaling me in my heart?

As I'd learn that day, the answer was *no*, and a stark opposite. The second Evie and Mya snapped my trance, greeting me with the light of two suns and melting the icicles of the cold from my heart, I knew that I'd made the correct call.

My heart belonged with Evie and Mya - not strangers, but *friends*.

And that's the trouble, I could not fall

That same day *also* happened to propel my relationship with Evie and Mya into the stratosphere, beyond what I had *ever* known in friendship, through a series of unfortunate, unsettling, *spine-tingling* trials, errors, loving, losing, and *coping*.

To start off the day: I now had to share *not one*, but *two* periods in English with *Daniela*, in exchange for having Evie and Mya.

Long story short: Daniela cashed in. Mrs. Ikenna longed to hit her with a ruler, I swear, from the way she gripped it and pointed it at Daniela each time she had a threat or something sarcastic or bloody to say.

But being stuck with Daniela against my will and as a con for the sacrifice I'd made to be with my friends wasn't even the highlight of that day. It was through *someone else* that put my friendship with the girls into motion.

My friends listening to me now, are you familiar with the story of the boy named Aiden from Bellingham?

From the way you're nodding and about to topple on me, Evie and Mya appear to have beat me at my game. I don't need to tell you much here, since they've told you about how Aiden was the cause of the first major breakdown in communication I had with the girls, with the outside world. How he made me tread on unstable ground, filled with fear of the truth and facing a trial I wasn't poised to win.

Thanks to Evie and Mya, however, I *grew*. *Prospered*. Learn to adapt, open my heart more, and *understand*. Have another spine, and *connect* to people that weren't my friends. That if I confessed one thing, it wouldn't make the world cease to exist, and it wouldn't exile me to *any* of the grim places I still feared in the back of my mind.

Still, even if brief, this story is required for you to understand *me*.

Aiden came up to me, Evie, and Mya, and began socializing eagerly, going at a mile a minute, though I felt wary of him. He seemed... *nice*, like the average PMS student, like any other face in the hive, but he seemed lasered in on *me*. So I introduced myself to smooth things over and reduce the stifling amount of tension rising in my throat.

He said my name was pretty. Teeth became gritted. If this was said by the girls, then okay, fine, I trusted them. Problem was, I didn't know Aiden properly, and so for him to go for the compliments immediately was *off-putting*. Strange. A tactic I was deeming one for *winning me over*. Using my existence for a *scheme*. Wary level *high*.

Evie and Mya gravitated his attention on them, but *still*, his eyes were on *me*.

Why *me*? What was *special* about me? The fact I dreamed I was amongst stars?

The bell spared me from more social interaction torture, and I headed off to my English period with the girls (and Daniela, but we don't talk about that).

I thought it would be the last of Aiden, that he'd fade into the crowd and find new people to fixate on, that he'd just be someone I'd *forget* and treat as the norm, a bottomfeeder and nobody at PMS, blank-faced like everyone else, but I was wrong.

He showed up *again* when I left my second period for third, asking me personal questions and *pestering me* and making me want to *scream*.

*How'd you cut your hair? What's your friend group like? What's your house like? Are you popular?*

That, my friends, is how you ask for *death* on your *doorstep*. I ignored them, though, and drowned him out with Evie and Mya's less *rackety* company.

Aiden was *discerning*, on the other hand, and his rambunctious head was scrambling for a *flashy* idea. It must have been an all-day process, as he not only joined my math class (insert Mya smashing notebook into head.jpg here), but he also *pestered me* out of school until my friends dumped the bricks onto his head and he ran off. You'd think that be the end of it, but Pineshadow willing... it wasn't.

He *stalked me* back home to my cabin, later at *night*, waiting for me to answer *in the snow*, passing me a glitter card that *reeked* of a friendship too *overpowered*, gummy-sweet and one-sided. Too starched, *syrupy*. *Unhealthy*. And the fact that he *stalked me back to my cabin* was *alarming*.

A stalker, freezing to a block of ice, just to pass me a card? Uh, red flag here and red flag there? We'd only known each other for a day, *tops*? *What*?

Evie and Mya met with me in a jumbled emergency meeting, revealing that he was *in love with me*. In *love*. I wanted to wretch in the pine needles, tuck myself into a ball, and carry myself off to the misty starscapes.

I had a *lovesick stalker* on my case, and I was in a *pitfall*, a more troublesome one than my early follies with Evie and Mya.

As for them, they urged me, with genuine support, to come out to him. I flat-out refused, vehemently and bent on rage. Why would I give out *my secrets* to pacify a sick *loverboy*? They wanted me to *tear out my heart* and give it up *on a silver platter*? This game would *die* in the flames of unrequited love, and I couldn't *lose it all*, only in this dream and *always in a damn nightmare*.

I lost it and snapped, but then regretted it, seeing Evie's shock and Mya shielding herself in her best friend, needing the warmth I'd ripped from her. I had to learn to control my own strength and temper around people I could trust, but that wasn't indispensable yet.

The girls backed down and let me go about the subject matter in my masterly way: *deny*, *deflect*, *stand alone*. But the next day, things only shot to the *clouds* in terms of a rashy, inflamed, *worse* situation.

I started to get paranoid in class, fearful Aiden would just teleport in through the *ceiling*, through the *floor*, and demand my *love*. My heart, my time, my *home*. Thinking of what could *be*, unable to put a watergate in my head to stop the rain from breaking the dam.

Things I wouldn't give, but a sentiment he would never learn, as when class ended, he pulled me into the wall and professed *his love of me* in *public*.

Where so many eyes had *danced* around me. A dance of a thousand eyes, among them Evie and Mya's, watching with sheer horror and disgust. Blues, greens, ambers, yellows, browns, *flickering*, *swirling*. Making a monster, a spirit, grabbing me by the knees and dragging me to the *underworld*.

The air was *tainted*. The walls had snared me in a *box*. Teeth sunk into my flesh and bone.

I cracked, mercilessly split down the middle, face red, ears red, tears streaming down. I rejected him harshly, turning the tables on him, and running off. Embarrassed and humiliated, forgetting his reaction. I didn't think much, brain veiled by volcanic fumes, but only wished that he felt a *milimeter* of the pain I had felt in this entire experience.

A day spent hating the world, cursing the world, and asking why I deserved to be immediately tortured everywhere I turned. Why I only felt pain whenever I tried to open up and bloom. Why when I *tried* being *me*, tried doing something, it would end in disaster, my hopes ashy.

What ever happened to chasing ghost spores and putting together the fragments of a puzzle? Watching the clock turn and flowers bloom? Counting every star in the sky? Those days were behind me.

After school, Evie and Mya visited me again, proposing I come out, suggesting it. They feared me for me, I knew, and they cared for me, I knew also. It was just too risky, however, and I couldn't trust Aiden with the way he was so brazen and thought with his feelings instead of one reasonable brain cell.

Another breakdown, falling to my knees, sobbing. Evie and Mya relented again, and I appreciated them for it. They knew how to not push me past my limit and let me live my life my way, even if they had a differing viewpoint. They could *mediate*. It had reduced the severity of the scars Aiden inflicted.

Evie and Mya were people I could *count on*. Suggesting work-arounds, solutions, while adhering to my policy and who I *was*. My faith rested in them, stored in their hearts as much as mine.

They hosted a snow day to lift my spirits, and I instantaneously agreed, finding the two to be... quite *cute*, playing in the snow? Cute? And *boisterous*, but in the good kind of way?

We romped in the snow, rolled around, threw snowballs, and began to spend a few minutes in *bliss*, on top of the snowiest heaven, enjoying each other's company. I *liked* my friends, more when they shared my natural love of the snow. Shared its *importance*.

I was ready to crank up the fun level to *one hundred*.

However, someone else wanted to crank the level to *negative zero*.

Evie and Mya were tossed aside like ragdolls in an escalated blur, streaks across my field of sight, and then someone in a seething green jacket started approaching, fists clenched, eyebrows creased, his once-loving forest-green eyes *cold*.

Aiden had come to the conclusion that if he couldn't *have me*, he'd make me love him by *force*.

*Nonconsensual* love. This was *atrociously unrequited*.

We fought and argued, but I was mislaying ground and backing into *dangerous* territory in the woods. Couldn't satisfy, couldn't heed. Words betraying me, me hiding in a meek shell Aiden was prying off with fingers looking all too like crowbars.

Defenseless, nowhere to run. He'd follow, and I was panicking. A shutdown, looming. Evie and Mya weren't going to intervene, observing, stunned and frought with hysteria, a quiet bout of it, and I realized that they were testing me.

This was a lesson I had to learn *on my own*, *without their help*. They'd still have my back, but this wasn't a lesson *they* could teach me. I had to teach myself, but *what*?

And when faced with falling to my death (or at least graphic injury) in a sewer hole, being pressured into a romance I'd *never* reciprocate, stumbling over my words in tears, *begging* for a reverie where I could float in the stars and swing from branch to branch in the night sky, I knew I had to make a difficult choice.

One that had, many times, *betrayed* me, and caused my body to become a prized trophy of battle scars.

Evie and Mya had encouraged me once, twice, and now thrice, to do this. I'd put it off, letting my fear suffocate me and control me. Letting fear that Aiden would be the next-in-line to become *Daniela* persuade me that I should throw my secrets in the Pacific Ocean with the lock and key. Acting in *denial*, convinced I could hold my world and control its power. My destiny, in my hands.

Yet sometimes, to learn people better, and to help them understand and flourish, you couldn't be guarded forever. At some point, walls must come down. I was in danger, embarrassed enough, and facing a raging, love-craved bull about to charge.

Aiden wasn't Daniela; he was not evil, just badly misaligned and letting heartbreak influence him for the worst. He had a *heart*, but I had to bring the *light*. I had to *clear* the darkness, and the only way I could was with a medicine that would hurt, then *heal*.

I told him the truth: who I was, proudly, clear, and tearfully. He wouldn't have me, and never would. I didn't hate him, but his advances had to come to an end.

I tried to move forward, but I slipped in the wet snow and fell into the uncovered sewer, a pit that would gobble me and catastrophically put me to rest, unceremoniously and without due dilligence... and was *pulled out* by Aiden.

He learned, and through a gritty, bitter, tear-stained, and *honest* apology, we made amends, no longer enemies, and coming to full terms with both of our lessons. He learned to not let rejection dictate his actions, and to respect personal boundaries. I learned to put more faith in others, myself in that mix, and to trust my allies with private information, all thanks to Evie and Mya.

Not everyone was a *monster*... I had *misjudged*, blamed others, compared them to the lowest rankings. I had to learn to value others in kinder regards.

We found Aiden better friends, and that was the end of that.

Alas, that wasn't the end of Aiden's saga, because as you might know... the day we found Aiden friends was also the day the floor all around me became *lava*.

The school day had ended, and everyone was dispersing, flocking in crowds to share the latest hot gossip, reveal to their peers that they found a way to pirate movies and sneak onto Twitter, or grab their skateboards and flick their caps behind their heads, blasting the pop music on the radio on repeat. I had just said goodbye to Evie and Mya and had started thinking on everything as a whole.

I wouldn't *fully* like Aiden, but he was *pleasant* enough to be considered an ally. And as for Evie and Mya? They had given me *strength*. The confidence to walk tall, *proud*, through crowds, without having to wear a veil over my web of secrets and lies keeping me above water.

This was something *real*, a drug I could taste on my tongue with *euphoric* flavoring. I skipped to a steady beat, matching the swing of *Tranmissions from Lemuria*, and let my heart guide me in the direction of *home* - where the transmissions of Lemuria would make it through the frigid, wet snow, and leave a flurry for me to track with childlike glee.

Suddenly, I smashed into *fuzziness*. Warmth, a hefty, *bulky* ton of it. I shook my head, closing my eyes and re-opening to see a flash of *blue*.

*Light blue*. A light blue *sweater*.

I had made a *tremendous mistake*.

Daniela's cross, tapered face had transitioned to one of a *cocky*, *devious* witch brewing a sanctimonious scheme in her cauldron, and she was scanning the most *delicious* piece of meat sold in the Haggen deli, her dimples curving seeing that said meat was finely *salted* and *peppered*.

I backed up, heart kicking into full reverse and expanding. I heard it beat, *thump thump thump*, but it was too late for me to run. I was glued to the concrete, put in my place, and Daniela had her demonic amber sights *on me*.

*Punishment* was due, and I winced, heavy footsteps clobbering the asphault and rattling the tips of my boots.

"Well, I'll be darned... little *Snowblind* seems to be enjoying her time outside, *prancing* to and fro in the snow! Maybe next time she should watch where she's **GOING** so she doesn't run into someone *like me*!" Daniela taunted, snorting with contempt and crossing her arms, giving me a pointed smirk. "Just *what* do you think you're doing out in the open? Exposing yourself? Finally tired of *living all those lies*?"

I wasn't *blind*! I was trying to enjoy a frame of mind, *peace*, thanks to Evie and Mya, and here Daniela thought she could slap it out of my hands and stomp it dead in the floor, squash my hopes and dreams.

She wasn't aware that Evie and Mya taught me to *believe* in my strengths, to trust fall and let myself be *saved*. Daniela wouldn't ruin today. My anger *howled*, fiery and vicious.

I bared my teeth, snapping strictly, "**None of your business**." Taking notes from Evie's silent, but apt accosting of Daniela from the Monday we walked to school together, I conducted a ballsy maneuver and *walked past her*.

Head high, chin up, *no regrets*.

*I'm not gonna listen to anything SHE says. Just a fake.*

Daniela growled, *pissed* that I had openly defied her. That was out of the norm. Her prey was supposed to *obey* and *accept* torture - and now that I had *deflected* torture, she was going to *riot*.

Pride was in short supply on that day, and with it, any hope I had of brushing Daniela off as a minor blemish to an otherwise sound afternoon.

Without warning, she yanked me by the faux fur of my hood, *violently*, and my coat dug into my throat. She flipped me around and *slammed* me against the metal of the fence. A harsh *ring* reverberated in my ears, and I groaned, limp from the pain.

A hand went for my throat, landing on the soft flesh, and she *squeezed*. She was no more than a *smudge* in my vision.

"Oh no you *don't*, McCormick. You are *never* going to **evade me** with your *dirty tricks*, not as long as there's *unfinished business* between us," she snarled, her grip tightening, and I squirmed. She wanted to laugh at me, and I *hated it*.

*Hated this*. Hated her taking advantage of the one time I was *without* her fated rivals. I had found something *real*. I had *something*. I wasn't *NOTHING*!

Although I was deprived of air, I kicked Daniela off and shoved her onto the snowy sidewalk, regaining oxygen in my body. I held a hand toward my coat pocket; I refused to draw my knife, and wouldn't for my safety, but I was *livid*.

A firestorm still burned within me, and if it took a controlled *burn* to get Daniela to repent, I was going to strike the match first.

"You are ***INSANE*** for thinking that we have *loose ends*! We are *not* affiliated with each other. We don't *like* each other. I don't know *what* you want with me, but I won't *listen* to a **DAMN THING YOU SAY**!"

"Do you really think that's so?" Daniela retorted, quizing me, circling me, hungry for my downfall. Every step was more condescending than the last.

"Then you *greatly underestimate me*. Mark my words, *Snowblind*. I *am* going to hunt you down *one day*. I'll find out *everything* I need to know about you, and when I do, the *whole school* will know that you are **a shameful fraud**. You've ran from the *law* and *deceived all of us*. And I'll **PROVE IT**!"

*A... fraud?*

The fire that was in me, burning *hot*, *defiant*, and *protestant* of the bully regime, spurted out. The cold winter had arrived, pushing what I had fragmented in me to the *floor*. Evaporating it. *Crushing* it. Bending to the will of Daniela.

Leeches sunk into my skin, cleaning me dry of what I had required to function so avidly, so *powerfully*. The power went straight to Daniela's head.

Daniela *knew I was lying*. She *knew*. She heard *somewhere*, *someway*, *somehow*. She wouldn't *stop* until she had *dismantled me*. How could she get away riding a high horse as tall as *that*? Without everyone *disbelieving*?

*No one's gonna listen to a demented kid like her!*

"You're **lying**! You won't-"

"Get away with it? *Seriously*? You're like this all the *goddamn time*. And you know what you're *doing now*? You're pissing me **OFF**!" Daniela, hissing and baring her venomous fangs, grabbed my arm and threw me on my *side*, *roughly*, into the snowy sidewalk. My head bobbed, everything *spinning*. *Levitating*.

My side was aching, stinging from the cold, numb from the frostbite. Groaning, I rubbed my temple and *gasped*.

There was not one, but two, but three, but four, but *five reflections of a sociopathic amber-eyed demon*, prancing around me, *standing* in front of me. *Staring*. *Admonishing* the lousy disgrace and a waste of air before them.

Every reflection was an army Daniela could control. She had *power*. She had *strength*. She had *intelligence*. She could be an assassin, if she had wanted to. A thug, if she wanted to. She had the power to be *dangerous*, above all *malicious*.

She took a single, *defining* step toward me, devilish grin intact, amber eyes *flaming*. When they flamed *this* intensely, it made me *freeze*. Not *move*. A single thing would move, and her eyes would follow, stop it into silence. Daniela controlled *everything*.

She couldn't be *stopped*. Daniela was *indestructable*, and I was *a prize possession*. Belonging to a pretty little psycho, and she was ready to tip the glass and *light it up*, even if I tried to crawl back in vain.

She pressed the glass to my lips - it was positioned to *kill*.

"Once, long ago, you *took away* someone's life, Winterlyn. Destroyed it. Because *you* stole what was hers, caused her to *fall*. Luckily, that made her *realize* that revenge was *magic*. *Sweet*. *Euphoric*. Whatever you do, wherever you go, *I'll* find you. And by then, **I'll kill you FOR ALL THE PAIN YOU GAVE ME**!"

*Kill*. *Kill*.

The word had *barely* just been weaned and fed to me, but I *gasped*, flooded by *horror*. *Shock*. *Denial*. *Confusion*. Too many emotions to remotely name and put together and *process*.

I scrambled to my feet, legs slipping on the sidewalk. My stomach was churning, acids *agitated*, flared on by the onset of stress, which had gripped my veins in a *deadlock*. The earth was *whirling*, spinning fast, and the only clear picture in front of me was *Daniela*, having won *everything*, her vendetta *complete*.

The earth was *shifting*, an earthquake underneath threatening to emerge and split my world into *pieces*.

Pieces time would eat. The word Daniela had said returned, and my mind began to *function*.

*Kill*. The reality dug in.

*Daniela wants to kill me???*

"You... you *want* to *murder me*??? But... but you *can't*! I *won't* let you... you're *bluffing*, Daniela!"

Children didn't *kill*. Children didn't *succeed* in homicide. Daniela had to be bluffing! She could *never* get away with something so heinous, so reprehensible, so *disturbing*.

But Daniela's smile went as wide as ever, almost as wide as her face, and she *guffawed* at me. *Laughing* at my stupidity. The dread set in, and then the panic, *all* of the panic, and the *madness*.

Daniela *wasn't* bluffing, and she traced my chin with her fingernail, *scraping* it. *Designating* her property... the property that she wanted *dead*.

A hand *touched my cheek*. Daniela was *holding my cheek*, and I was stuck in place. Gears stopped turning. I was no longer cognizant, mind sauntering to a love I knew...

The memories came back. The love. The passion. All of the cuddles and innocent, lighthearted, beautifully consented hangouts behind the backs of adults. Daniela made me *remember*.

*Remember* what she *took* from me. She made me *stay*. I was feeling *everything*. *Deprived* of touch, of love, of affection. I *needed* it back.

*Me and her were so... so... close. If only she-*

The vicious growl brought me back to the real world, and I saw Daniela's bared teeth, the intensity, the anger *gleaming* in her eyes. The *hate*. Full of hate, nothing else in between but *anger* and *hate*.

Half of my body was *deadened*, and I knew then that Daniela *wasn't* lying, knew then that *I wasn't safe*, and her next statement backed that claim through my heart. A *warning* for what was to come.

"I *never* play the victim. I'd much rather be a *stalker*. You **will never** be safe in Pineshadow, Winterlyn McCormick. Soon, you'll *fall*, and there will be nothing left of you other than your little secrets slipping away, one, by *one*, by **ONE**. *And* I'll be ***VICTORIOUS***!"

She struck my chin with a right hand, shocking my brain into cognition, making me *concentrate* on her. *Meet* her eyes.

She made me eat my words to her, eat the defiance, eat it like a cake.

She had accepted my terms and conditions of *imminent death* on my *behalf*.

Then she had enough of toying with my mangled, roadkill body, jettisoning me back, smiling, and showcasing her perfect teeth. *Murderous* eyes, eyes of *hellfire*.

Daniela was totally *merciless*. Wholly shameless. Hauntingly remorseless.

She. Wanted. Me. *Dead*.

Here, staring at her, seeing her mock me in silence and establish that one day, she *would* kill me, take my life in a fell swoop, and prove to everyone I *lied*. She had all of the motive in the world. This wasn't just *enemy versus enemy* anymore.

This was a *threat*. She was going to *hunt me*. If I didn't run now, she could go for the *kill*.

Blood would be shed. Secrets would fly. I'd die as Pineshadow's liability and charlatan, worthless to her name. An unfortunate orphan, born as *Snowblind*, a lesson to any kid who dared think like me.

*As it stood in that moment, I could have lost everything I had ever fought for - especially my life*.

I screamed, loud, but not like anyone could care, as Daniela made *everyone* scream. I *fled*. Across the street, ignoring the cars, everything. I ran until I was speeding through the Piney Woods, past trees, past every obstacle. I didn't *care*.

I had to *run*. This was *instinct*. A *brewing war*.

I pelted through the terrain until my body just *couldn't* go on, and I collapsed by the creek, vomiting into it before taking off again, arriving home, locking everything up and myself inside, throwing off the added weight from my clothing, and curling into bed to sleep after *minutes* of panic.

Where I was alone. Without anyone. Coping with a *death threat*, and one that was *serious*.

My life was in danger. My life was in danger. I would be put in police custody. I'd be stripped down. Ironed and flattened. Worthless. Mocked. Scorned. *Hated*.

This wasn't a dream. This wasn't a dream. *This wasn't a dream*.

Only in a dream. Always in a nightmare.

I forced myself to nap, but the memory of the confrontation and the tenseness of my body made sleeping a harder feat than necessary. My body gave in later, though, and I was knocked out.

Until I was *rudely* awakened in my dreams by an entity that, for time's sake, I'll call the Shadow Demon. You don't need to know about her, except that she was black, had *bloody* red eyes, and was *terrifying*.

She had power, a *gripping* touch, a *faint* one that would leave you speechless. She had only darkness in her, not a scrap of *heart*. No color, only *pain*. Her purpose? To remind me of my place.

She'd bother me before in the stead of *somebody else*. This time, she yearned for a bigger conundrum, and threw me to a *house*.

A house neatly decorated with three Stars of David on the fireplace, a furnished living room, two snuggling preteens, and an absentminded dad focusing quite intently on his marriage ring.

I was *absolutely helpless and frightened* as the memory of my coming out replayed, a film reel that was unaltered, later thrown in the river and lost to time, scrapped of its vitals. In the body of a younger me, I felt the sorrow, pain, alarm, fury, and betrayal. All of it, a repeat of what I told earlier. You know it, and I know it.

Everything happened all over again. Being cut. Disowned. Watched. Bandaging the wound, leaving a blood trail. Packing away my memories and everything I knew. Meeting her and demanding *why*.

There was a catch. Where was *it*?

"*Say it*! Say you didn't know that it was going to *escalate*!"

Shadow Demon was all mirth, grinning. This was all part of her *plan*. Her *great unveiling*.

She scolded me, a whiplash to add on to the day's events. An *extension* to the lashings. The laughter was stark, humiliating, and *gut-wrenching*. It clogged every corner of my head, repeated, and *diluted*.

And *then*, in her grand finale, Shadow Demon revealed herself, and her blackness faded away to reveal the psycho donning a blue sweater and *heartless* amber eyes, doused in fire.

Daniela was *always* going to singe the reminder of November into my heart. Choke me with it, *break* with it, bend my *blood* with it.

Until death would do us part, this would be *fate*.

Her. Every part of her. Evil to the *core*. Me, nothing. I was, to everyone, except few, *nothing*.

The next part of the story is one you *also* know with heavy familiarity, and like before, Evie and Mya have ranted about it to you. I'll go more in-depth here, as they probably didn't cover my full rationale of thought, but still keep it simple and savory so you don't side-eye me for ranting aimlessly.

The following day, I was sleep-deprived, exhausted, and lugging a *caravan* on my back, it seemed. I woke up late, for starters, ate only a portion of my breakfast, staring at it sadly with crusted eyes, and then it was off to school.

When I settled into English, I had *just* managed to avoid the bell and a Mrs. Ikenna scolding by a *whisker*.

What was worse than Ikenna's *scathing* chastises? Your ex telling you that you'd look *hot* on a silver platter.

Daniela had *ruined* the entire day and it hadn't even been *lunch* yet. She humiliated me in front of my friends, who had been dubious when I walked in with purple eyelining and a bird's nest of every component, and now, my ex was going to make a show out of my tired state to the class. Obligatory Ikenna scolding.

Lunch was a ship that sailed no farther before striking an iceberg and sinking. Evie and Mya were picking up on my behaviors, the way I was using denial, a Winterlyn special, to convey that I was *fine*.

Fine, needed no help, and *lots* of hours spent *napping*. My ex wasn't gonna murder me! Nope! Nothing to see here!

All throughout the day, I felt *guilty*. I was a *criminal* for lying and denying to Evie and Mya, who had *just taught me* to be an open book. It wasn't like I didn't have pride in honesty, confession, and humbling myself, not being the overlord of some waking dream... but *how could they know my ex was the school's psycho bully*?

Daniela was *feared* and *despised* by *everyone*. Evie and Mya would *hate me* if I told them I once had feelings for Daniela, who had bullied, belittled, and *sneered* at them for *the longest time*- they wouldn't *believe me*! Would they ever understand Daniela was *different*, and that *Dani* was the one I had loved?

They couldn't know the truth. My secrets were staying locked away.

Of course, having a facade as manageable as a sun-dried painting was ineffective. By day's end, Evie and Mya had wanted answers.

I ignored them. They poked again. Ignored.

Mya reached out toward me. I snapped, startling her, and then I retracted.

*No, stupid! These are your friends. They're just worried... ugh! Just act natural for damn once!*

They understood I didn't mean to lash out, and we parted on uneven terms, with me *asserting* that I was fine and would open up about it later. In actuality, *no that would not happen and you guys are insane for buying that*.

I guess I had retained my skill of being a proficient liar.

I stalked off into the Piney Woods, sitting on a less snowy bank of pine needles. Regret reigned, holding its superiority and taping me to the ground.

I lied, denied, and dodged *any* inquisition the girls had tried to engage in with me. Forcefully shutting them out, *neglecting* them. Ugh! I *hated* this, but instead of slapping myself... I just wanted to *sob*.

*That was way too close for comfort... I kept blowing my cover numerous times! Stop it, Winter! If Evie and Mya find out the truth, I'm gonna be on my own again!*

*They'll never accept Daniela was my ex-girlfriend, someone so violent and a monster who feeds off everyone's suffering... MY suffering.*

I was walking on *thin ice*, and a sole misstep would send me careening into the icy water. It'd just *end*, the book closing, and I wouldn't be here telling you this now.

Evie and Mya deserved transparency. Kindness, which I was still struggling to exhibit; Mya was warming me up to hugs, though that ended with awkwardness and me being uncertain around *that* level of touch.

How could I confess my secrets when the one burdening me the most involved *their enemy*? That would open the door to *rejection*. Unwanted problems. And a fate *just as bad as death*.

No. It would *never* happen. Evie and Mya *weren't* going to be hurt, and with the limited autonomy I had, I had to use it wisely.

"I want to tell you, Evie and Mya. About *her*. But if you find out that *Dani* was the flame that made me whole... you'll *never* forgive me for loving a *demon*. I'm sorry... but this is for your sake."

*For your sake and for mine. Whatever I do, I won't let Daniela tear this friendship I have to shreds.*

When night fell, slowy taking over from the vast splotches of dark, sunset colors, and when I had vowed to take my secrets down to the underground with me, I let myself fall asleep.

My eyes blinked open later in another *reality*. A Piney Woods, a sky full of *vivid life*, of all colors. An unrealistic woods. No danger.

And meeting Mom again, healed, happy, and wanting me to go home with her. Too perfect to be true.

Too naive to see a trap.

Mom was stabbed and killed in front of me, and I, the foolish child, cried, not investigating who stabbed, not investigating the murder. Not realizing it was all a nightmare...

A nightmare Daniela manipulated and distorted, the sorceress she was. She saw through me, saw my weaknesses. My code. The heart that had kept me hanging off a vine.

She impaled it with the knife - *my own knife* - and the nightmare was over. The pain wasn't.

After minutes of frantically ensuring I was alone in the dark and that Daniela hadn't just magically broken in and killed me, minutes of sobbing to myself, holding myself, giving me no comfort aside from being alive, minutes of knowing why Evie and Mya had to be blind to the truth, knowing why I had to lie, I came down to earth by picking up my box, fishing for the one memory that would be my only half-light in the infinite shadow.

Me and Dani, smiling, in our last summer before middle school.

*The love of my life*.

Time passed slowly, and my eyes didn't leave that photo for at least an hour. In the timespan, a single tear landed on the photo, adjacent to the angel who had been set on fire and consumed by it.

Morning came faster than I recall, and I'd lost hours of sleep, again, but I was determined to prove that it was a *normal* day.

The snows were melting, and spring was coming, bringing back the flowers, the greenery, clear blue skies, and importantly, *fauna*.

Would I ever see Rufie again? My hopes were low, but here was to hoping I'd *glimpse* those beautiful rufous feathers of his.

I took a morning jog around the woods, without my coat, letting the temperatures sink in. I was going to take my mind off Daniela and *prove* that I could manage. To do that, I'd have to be with at least one of my friends, one who blended wise and supportive, and one less likely to accidentally bring out the *beast* in me.

No offense to Mya, by all means, but I felt Evie was more suitable given the hell of a night I went through.

She agreed to a hangout at an intersection near her street (we discussed housing information after school recently). But while she was on her way, I felt fear worm at my stomach, cutting holes in both ends and squeezing my heart dry of life.

Meeting with a friend was supposed to *cajole* me into *peace*, but the more I was around my friends, the more I could *slip*. The more they'd *pry* into the *cracks* and fish out what they *shouldn't*. Oh, why was I here? I couldn't back out now, or I'd be questioned. I couldn't act jumpy, or I'd be questioned.

A lose-lose scenario I was *not* equipped for.

Five minutes afterward, Evie showed up, but I was a mess, struggling to conceal the wounds and the lies being blocked behind *fear*. *Hearing* that *voice*, hearing *evil*, the *face* of it.

Evie seemed rather skeptical, quizzing me with her *something's amiss* expression, but she didn't pry. Thank *god*. We proceeded on, and I agreed that Mya could join - maybe it would help me feel better if Mya provided some getaway from hell with a "so dumb it's funny" joke?

That was quite ineffective, as even when she and Evie dragged Sears, the dying animal of a retailer, excessively hard, I wasn't in the mood to partake in their fun. A storm was atop my head, darkening with the more the secrets, lies, and horror built, stacked upon itself.

Evie and Mya saw it, and then came the questioning, the genuine concern, the softness I had known from them. However, *this* was something they *weren't* used to dealing with from me. Secret-keeping is great until it involves *the one person you've hated for a year*.

Paranoia coiled around my throat. The area was engulfed in smoke. What was left? Or right?

More questioning. More pressure. More panic. I cracked and caved to my thoughts, hoping they'd whisk me away and put me among stars, where I *needed* to be.

Nope, the stars were offline in the daylight, and instead I was faced with *imprisonment at Daniela's hands*.

A dream so disproportionate it was inaccurate to even *Daniela's own view of me*. The chains. The request to love hard, hate softer. A kiss I'd *die* to never think about again. What I saw in that vision makes me so sick I cannot even cover it in detail to you.

Evie and Mya broke the feverish nightmare, but by then, the damage was dealt. They knew flat-out I was in *crisis*. They knew I was *suffering*. They wanted the truth.

I exchanged that with *running for my motherhecking life*. Slipping and stumbling through the streets, throug houses-not-homes, through sidewalks, until I flew past Pinelake Park and into the woods. Running. Just running. Running out of Pineshadow.

Running out of Washington altogether. I promised to do it and forever be out of sight, out of mind.

But this is Evie and Mya we are talking about, and they don't surrender no matter *what* circumstance happens. They will clamp down on your leg and take you to the ground if it means giving you sensibility and brutal honesty.

They had latched on, and oh they did not even let go.

Evie had the most to say, telling me I was a survivor and that I never had to keep anything in. I didn't have to run from them - *because they would always listen and love me no matter what, and they promised to never let what happened to me ever repeat again*.

A *vow*. A *permanent vow*. A *love* that wasn't romantic, but *platonic*. *Appreciation*.

Evie and Mya were something *more* than just *friends*. They'd stayed true to all of their promises to me, cherished me, celebrated our differences, and helped me overcome my social challenges and reclusiveness. Who was I to think they'd turn me away for all of my secrets? What I had hidden?

It was time to let go of this pain and share, without blame, *the truth*. I had to repay them again for being my guiding lights, my *hope*. My *salvation*.

I *listened*, the sunlight *prevailing* over the shadow. I invited them into my hideaway and grabbed my box.

To learn me, they had to learn me through *my memories*. They had *earned this*, and I felt... *proud*.

No one was *ever* worthy of looking inside but those two.

And so, for the first nine photos, they had the joy of hearing me talk about my young life, from little to early teen, from early beginnings and harmonious happiness to melancholy sadness and later, the trenches of a depression.

They were *supportive*. Respectful, and inquistive, and *loving* my memories. Evie thought back to her young life, and Mya was just in *awe*, each photo making her bright green eyes glitter with expansive wonder, a questioning of every memory, how it worked, the background.

She found me cute. My heart was fluttering. The two were immensely respectful - but would this remain the same for my tenth photo?

I couldn't stall them, so they got their hands on it. I braced for *war*.

The war? An *acceptance* war.

Evie and Mya were understandably *astonished* that Daniela was my ex, reacting with trepidation, but they didn't *hate*. That wasn't on their mind. No rage, no resentment, no punishment for my truth.

They *accepted it*, fully understanding my reasons and line of thinking. Contrasting me from Daniela. Pointing out that they had no incentive to abandon me. Praising and calming me. Asserting their loyalties *to me*.

For the first time in a *while*, I *happy cried*. Told them about *Dani*, my family history, more stuff I hadn't yet covered. Evie and Mya doubled down, promising that Daniela would get her just desserts, *and* promising that I'd be free from the Snowblind bullying.

Two promises they were going to *never* break. Evie and Mya had proven me wrong on so many levels.

They *loved me*. They saw me as their *best friend*. They weren't just my friends, no! They were my *best friends*, and *even* more than that.

I loved the two, and to think that at first I thought I was going to traumatize them for snooping!

Life was *sweeter*. *Peaceful*. After confessing everything, the burdens came *loose*, and I wanted to fly. Which I did, in the form of finally reciprocating the girls' affection and hugging them. They could now come over whenever they wanted.

This was like *flying*. Growing. Evie and Mya were *godlike*, mortal beings who were going to be by me *forever*. They'd catch me, lift me up to the sky, and listen to me whenever I wished to speak. They *validated* me.

That night I thought more about our friendship, thought out loud, imagined grasping the stars in my palms. Evie? A wisecracking, quick-thinking, rational leader with a heart of gold and an inner softie at heart, best brought out by Mya. A lovable best friend, fiercely loyal and having no tolerance for bullcrap.

As for Mya... she was *sweet* and *dorky*. Naive and immature here and there, but all in good fun. She was the comedian that sought peace and love for the world, loved animals, and could be a bird of a thousand voices. Never down in the face of a calamity, sensitive, but reinforced by a loving friend - make that two.

Mya was the first to break into me, too. The first to see me for who she was. I felt so... *attached* to her. What *was* this *new* feeling? Mya was a best friend, but she was like something *deeper* than the surface... warm, but polished and shiny as a gemstone?

A *sister*. That thought I'd hold - it was too early to consider it that, and plus, would Mya even *see* that? Her brain was always going places, but that was for her to decide, not me.

The night was a *good* night, and the stars above were adding to the euphoria, twinkling back at me. Soon, in my dreams, I'd be among them.

Not after a late-night *stalker* decided to show up and *challenge* me on my *turf*.

By the most *Ancient & Arcane*-like luck, I hid in time from Daniela, who had put on an infallible facade of searching for her lost love. I ambushed her instead, and we fought, circling each other. I wasn't having it, and this was when Daniela learned that *I was armed with a weapon*.

It wouldn't faze her; Daniela was never fazed by anything, but I won the standoff. Her bickering, empty threats, and me acting tougher, like she hadn't threatened *murder* against me, wasn't gonna butter her bloody biscuits.

However, before her departure, she had one thing to say, and it *chilled my bones to ice*.

"Keep those *senses* of yours *heightened*. *Check* your surroundings over and over again. *Try* thinking twice, though it'll be of no *use* to you. I'll be back **again**. And the next time we meet, you'll be a ***rotting corpse*** at my ***feet***!"

The night ended *less* sweet and more of fear-sweat and panic, with me only falling asleep upon placing *my knife* beside my *head*.

Was I going to be safe from Daniela with Evie and Mya around, giving me healing, closure, and vigor, or was history doomed to repeat itself, ending in an unbroken cycle of *bloodshed* - and leading to a life cut short at a child's hands?

My next plan of action *wasn't* to keep standing still, dwelling on the most *nightmarish* things Daniela could execute on me.

Her after-hours threat, combined with *stalking me* and making good on her prior promises, had me up at night, hearing *noises*. Patrolling the cabin. Losing sleep, thoughts tumbling off the tracks and into the abyss.

Fearing *what could happen*. Fearing *death*.

This wasn't healthy, and a small, *small* part of me, a tiny small voice sitting in the crest of my heart, was yodeling that *she was still bluffing*. Daniela was a child, and I was a child. Children don't do homicide unless *something* is screwed in their personal life.

Now, I couldn't *falter*. I couldn't be weak, and I needed to fall back on *reassurance*. On the *stars*, on *gold*.

Three days after the confrontation, I told Evie and Mya that Daniela had... *crossed paths* with me, and they were, of course, disgusted.

"Daniela *really* is gonna start forgoing that *perfect little pupil* image just to give you the *shivers* late at night, isn't she?" Evie scoffed, rolling her eyes. I recalled that she and Daniela were often at each other's throats over who was the most intelligent prodigy at PMS.

"No shock, Ev! Dumbquist's brain is full of *bats*. For all I know, she has a bloodlust mania that would make *Dracula* paler than *white*. And white is the *palest shade*!" Mya exclaimed.

*Pfft*. Mya was *something*.

The two bucked me up, telling me that Daniela wouldn't achieve anything but being *systemically halted* from impeding my space. She had no weapons and not enough security to commit a crime - and Rex was on my side as well, and she'd act *hastily* should Daniela try something that would stain the floor scarlet.

At school, Evie and Mya were by my side constantly, and even without them, I was left to fulfill my hobbies and work in *peace*. The bullies who had chanted that I was *Snowblind* the most, even Lars and the clique, had *disappeared*. What was *this*?

Feeling *safe*. *Protected*. Evie and Mya were two guardians that didn't need to perch on my shoulder to make me walk around PMS in *big strides*.

The school was *brighter*, a million colors in a waltz under the glass dome. Colors, sharp, sweet, and tangy, like the Piney Woods in the holiest of mornings.

People got the memo - I had *friends* now, learned to socialize and stop being a tree-hugging hermit, and these friends were *known* for who they were at school. I was friends with two of the school's most popular, yet humbled, human beings, with intelligence that could very much serve as a blade to incoming foes.

These friends wouldn't *tolerate* insults. Some tried to whisper it, and Evie would be blunt, stern, and *intimidating*. Mya would grate uncanny jokes into people's ears until they walked off.

It worked. PMS was *safe*.

And to top it off with the sweetest of frostings, even Daniela's threat was *subsiding*. *Subsiding*! Evie and Mya were an effective way to *end* her charades, and when she tried to ignite a flame, it was snuffed out, and Rex would punish her in a screaming fit afterward.

Evie and Mya assured me that Daniela was *never* going to try anything *insane*. At the end of the day, we were middle schoolers, and the most we could do was walk toward our futures, murkier than ever, without turning back.

The future was looking *bright*. A new sun was rising, and a new person was dawning in me. I was *not* the girl of a year ago.

The girls and I hung out after school, sometimes eating sweets and chatting in the comfort of the cabin. We'd listen to Varien, and we'd swap tales of our past and now before heading out into the Piney Woods on a walk, marveling at the beauty and remarking silly things a middle schooler would remark in their thrills.

With the warmer weather and the exciting rush of spring came to me knowing each girl better individually.

Evie was the person I described earlier this chapter, independent, strong, zero-tolerant on misbehavior and nefariousness, though also observant, intelligent, close-minded, and inwardly, as fluffy as a marshmallow, which is what Mya told me about her.

Evie had an interesting life - she was Vietnamese-American, and her mother is a very strict person, while her father is a lovable family man. She also, to my surprise, has a lovely black cat named Holly.

She told me a fair amount of her life, her expectations, and how much of her path has been premade. It hasn't come without struggle, and Evie does happen to get into squabbles with those who oppose her, even from within. What she faces isn't my story to tell, but she's welcome to share to you if she trusts you enough.

For Mya, it wasn't as elementary as an afternoon chat to get to know her... as one afternoon, she perfectly *demonstrated* who she was to me in a *very* unique way.

The sky was clear, cloudless, and the sun was beating down on me. It was welcomed after all of the cold, snow, and sleet that had fallen in Pineshadow, and the rays were making the metal and wooden structures of Pinelake Park be *enlightened*. Spring was *almost* here, from the wet dewdrops on the grass stalks to the way the snows had cleared for *greenery*.

I sat alone at the step to Pinelake Park, sunning myself and gaining some more fresh air, feeling myself slipping off the ground and taking off into my thoughts.

Just before I could gravitate and hold on a certain topic:

"*Winteerrrrrrrr*! *Winterrrrrrr*!"

I knew that voice, and to hear it being shouted in so much exaggeration from a short distance away made me smile.

Sure enough, Mya was approaching in a bumbly skip, a cloth bag on her shoulders.

*Huh? What's that for?* I questioned, and I got up from my spot, greeting her warmly.

"Hey, Mya! Wasn't expecting you to show up today," I said.

She stuck her tongue out at me. "I show up whenever I want. In this case, I teleported!"

"Really?"

"Yes, from my house. I may have tried running here and gave up after five minutes."

"Why?"

"I'm not the Titanic. Not built for speed."

I chuckled, biting on my lip, and then I noticed Mya's partner-in-crime was absent.

"Where's Evie?" Mya rolled her eyes, and I got the bigger picture.

"Evie is... kinda imprisoned in her house today. Opal wants her on extra schoolwork and chores, and when you speak of her mother..."

"I figured as much." Bummer, but at least I had Mya.

I peered down at her bag, which, on the front, had a message scrawled on it in Sharpie: *Mya's Bag O' Fun Stuff*.

"What's the bag for?" I casually inquired, and for a split second, I saw Mya's eyes reflect *stars*.

She pointed at me, tapping my nose and jumping, causing my cheeks to flush pale pink. "*You*, my *friend*, are getting an *intervention*!"

"Intervention??? What for-"

"Winter, you need to have *fun*! You have lived *by yourself*, a *kid*, *lived by yourself*, in *that cabin*, for a *year*. You, from what I hear, *don't have much have entertainment in the woods*. Your life must have been *boring* until we showed up! Today, this changes. Pal, you're stepping into *my realm*. We're going to the *jungle*! And we've got *fun and games*!"

*Boring? Does she not realize what realm I LIVE in?*

I opened my mouth, prepared to correct her and issue the rebuttal that I *did* have fun in my own unique way, but the sun was being more welcoming, and Mya was smiling and shuffling and endlessly *stimming* at the thought of taking me on an adventure, and the wind rustled, and...

...it was a *clear*, *perfect* day to try *something else* for fun.

I'm gliding in the beautiful sky

It's such a clear day-o

Mya's face was *adorable*, and I couldn't *resist* a face *dying* to show me her definition of *fun*.

"Winter? Why are you staring at me? Do I have acne on my face again?" she questioned, waving a finger at me, and I shook myself out of admiring her.

*You're cute when you're indignant...* "No! Mya, your face looks *normal*. Don't worry about that. So, what's this fun you've been alluding to?"

Go riding in your sweet lullabies

Come fly away, a-yo

"*Fun*?" Mya asked herself, flicking her hand. "Oh, *this* is *fun*. This bag contains the *holy grail* of *fun*. *Everything* a wanderer like me could dream of! Evie never lives a month without picking one of these *bad boys* up and letting herself go. She... honestly needs it."

"So what's in there?" I looked down, but Mya forced my chin up and away, giggling.

"Winter! If you spoil it right now, that defeats the *purpose* of having fun! Fun comes with *surprise*. These things are things you have not experienced *since you were a preteen*. Handle them with *care*. Once you have their power... you're going to be *flying off* into the *sun*!"

I'm gliding in the beautiful sky

It's such a clear day-o

I gazed up at the sky again, taking in by how much of a striking, expansive blue it was today. Like the ocean, like so many memories proceding this day...

I heard the fun *calling*. I heard my call, my call to *fly*.

Fly away with my *best friend* to *her land*. I was *never* going to say no to *flying*!

Go riding in your sweet lullabies

Come fly away

I spread my wings, green, red, and white, and let them catch the sun, and the breeze, and the *pleasure* of spending a day with my best friend, one I was *viewing* as deeper than a friend *again*.

"Okay!" I shouted, tipping up on my tippy-toes, and Mya blushed at my change of expression. She wasn't used to seeing me *this* happy before.

"Right. Your first item is one *every child* must have interacted with and toyed with in their lives. Shut your eyes."

I obeyed. Mya opened my palm, placing something rugged and plastic-y upon it; part of it was hanging off.

"I'm holding it," I pointed out.

"Great! Now, on the count of three, open your eyes and *run*. Three... two... *one*!"

I opened my eyes and ran, following Mya's lead, and in my hand, I realized, was a *bubble wand*.

Bubble wands and I didn't go way back, but I was creating so many bubbles that were drifting up into the sky, capturing distorted, zany reflections of the Piney Woods, the park, and me and Mya's faces as we ran across the grasses, mowed recently but bound to grow back.

"Blowing bubbles! I haven't done this in a *long* time!"

"Well, now you are! You're gonna feel like a kid again!" Mya called out, weaving with her bigger wand and creating blobby shapes with the bubbles. I followed suit until we'd exhausted our supply of bubble soap (uh, what do you call it again?).

I'm gliding in the beautiful sky

It's such a clear day-o

"Whew. That *was* fun," I admitted.

"But wait! There's *more*!" Mya added, and hooking my arm with hers, she marched me over to her bag and reached in it, pulling out a set of binoculars.

"Are we going birdwatching?"

Go riding in your sweet lullabies

Come fly away, a-yo

"You bet!" Mya put them to her eyes, searching and shuffling, and she tapped my shoulder. "Look there! On those short white flowers!"

"Those are Saskatoon serviceberries, Mya."

"On the Saskatoon plants! That's a black-chinned hummingbird!"

I'm gliding in the beautiful sky

It's such a clear day-o

Without thinking, I yanked the binoculars out of her hands and looked for myself, spotting the dark feathers and purple throat of Pineshadow's *rarest*, most unique hummingbird species. Up close, so personal...

"It's beautiful... I've never seen one *this* detailed before."

"There's more to that besides the rarity, sister!" Together, we searched for other birds, finding juncos, siskins, finches, jays, and even a fluffy red-breasted nuthatch, not commonly seen in the Piney Woods.

Go riding in your sweet lullabies

Come fly away

All the time, we were laughing, gawking at nature's divine like we *hadn't* seen nature in our lives; the bag stayed with us, held close by Mya. She picked up a wooden object, shaped like a paddle, with a red ball hanging down on it from a string.

"What is *that*?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Paddleboard. I am a *champion* of paddleboarding."

(Day-o, day-o, day-o, day-o)

She exemplified her skill, bouncing the paddleball off the board, upside-down, sunny-side-up, and to the side, all around her head, body, and even with her eyes closed.

She was *vibing*.

"Could I try?"

"Knock yourself out with it! Afraid you won't surpass *thee wizard* standing before you."

She was right about that, as I couldn't nearly bounce the ball steadily, and it always tripped over its own string or sagged off to the side. This was *Mya's* talent, not mine.

Stowing the paddleboard away, she threw a sunhat onto my head and donned one herself. The straw was *scratchy*, and *itchy*, and made me glance up with doubt, shoulders high.

"How do you think we look?" Mya queried.

"Ugly." I expected her to disagree.

"Yeah, these are itchy, and they aren't colorful enough. Begone!" She threw hers and mine back into the bag, and I sat there in a mix of surprise that she'd even agreed with me and of confusion for how quickly she stashed them in her bag.

For the next few minutes, we did Mya's other exhibition in *fun*: playing *tag*, skidding around on the dewy grass, laughing as we tumbled and tagged and succeeded. *Whew*.

This was *fun*. A *different* fun, one that brought back the childhood thrill of what we saw *fun* as.

This fun was in the *archives*. Something I hadn't thought about until *today*. I had lived under a *rock* for so long.

Even childish games were things I had been *missing*... and Mya had made them seem so *beautiful*! I was going to thank her a *ton* for opening up my mind, as now, I was *flying away* in the sky with the world's *brainiest* Queen of Fun.

A *harbinger* of fun, jokes under her belt, fair-humored, and less of a stranger, but more of a lovable dunce. *Lovable*? Yeah, lovable.

But I wouldn't completely fly away after we'd stopped tagging.

I'm gliding in the beautiful sky

It's such a clear day-o

"Seems like we got this day in the bag," Mya panted, wiping her (not) sweaty forehead, but I butted her in the shoulder. She eyed me.

"Oh *no*, we *don't*. Mya, if you think I haven't been exposed to *fun* in a million years... then *you* haven't stepped a *foot* in my world."

"*Has stepped*!" Mya protested. I crossed my arms.

Go riding in your sweet lullabies

Come fly away, a-yo

"*Really*? Then you've been underground ever since you've met me. My ways aren't *yours*, and they're *odd*. Odd suits me, just as much as *childish* suits you. No offense, I like you like that."

Mya blew a raspberry at me. "You *dare* challenge I, the *maestra* of fun?! Alright... what is *your* entertainment? Enchant me, your highness."

"Come fly away with me... and you'll find out what I see," I teased, motioning for her to follow me into the woods.

I'm gliding in the beautiful sky

It's such a clear day-o

Mya's bag bobbled with her, the items cluttered inside bouncing and *clanking*. I made my way effortlessly through the underbrush and pine needles, heart pulling the weight, and I saw the speckled bushes ahead.

*Bingo*! "This way! You're about to get a culinary *refresh*!"

"Is it going to be like Opal's attempt at tomato soup and poison me?" she inquired with a playful batted eye.

Go riding in your sweet lullabies

Come fly away

I copied her hand-flick from earlier, eyes wide. "*No*! Mya, why would I attempt to poison you? Anyways... these are huckleberries, and they aren't toxic, trust me. The ones over here are sweet, but if you want to make your tastebuds sob, the tart ones are over here."

Plucking the sweet and sour, I popped them in my mouth and started chewing, staining my teeth reds and pinks. "See? It's not poison. Just berry bliss," I urged her to try for herself, licking my lips and then patting my belly.

"I trust ya," Mya uttered before stuffing her mouth full of the sweet berries. "Mmm! These are *tasty*!" She wiped the juice off her lips, sticking her tongue out in the corner. "What next?"

I knew what needed to come next. In order for Mya to understand the *universe*, the *paradox* that was sealed within here, she had to share that contact with *me*.

"Close your eyes," I instructed. "Listen to me *closely*..."

She was listening, and we pressed our foreheads together. She blushed. I blushed.

It was time to let Mya into my world.

"The Piney Woods is much more of an arcane place than you've *ever* known. Animals and magic live here, but you aren't the woods' full-fledged friend yet, so its secrets are off-limits to you. Today, that changes, as now, I'll let you in to a world where there are yellow and green lights that float in the sky at night. Where the stars are animal spirits guarding you from harm. Where you dance with the stars, consult the oracle, and befriend every animal... here, you can be a *god*. You can control *everything*. Mya Heartley... welcome to *my* waking dream."

I was in this dream, a bubble of stars, ghostly woods, and animals up top, composing the sky. And across from me was Mya, *seeing* what I *saw*.

She made the link *instantly*.

"It's... it's so *gorgeous*! It's everything you described..."

"Now you see," I told her. "We have to go back to reality now. But there's more fun and games in these woods then you'd initially suggest!"

In a flash, we were back in the Piney Woods, and I ran ahead, leading her to the patch of Pacific bleeding hearts, sunning themselves and perkier with the spring weather.

"Oh my god they're so *pretttyyyyyyy*!" Mya mooned, stroking their petals, and I laughed. Mya was super *cute* when she was head-over-heels for *anything*.

*This is the cute I want in my life.*

"When you've forged a lifelong connection with nature, you learn a signifance you'd never see until it's too late for afterthoughts. These are Mom's flowers. I used to put them on her grave every time I'd visit." My memories, forlorn, came to me. A hand touched my shoulder, then rubbed it soothingly.

"They're perfect," Mya whispered, her eyes beaming with softness and *love*. "I was wrong... your world is *extraordinary*. Please show me more!"

"The magic's in your hands, my friend." I led her in my strides, skipping to the clearing, with Mya matching my tempo, laughing and smiling and performing the mannerisms that *made* her Mya.

I'd made Mya *ascend*. She'd flown away *with me*. She *was* my best friend.

I'm gliding in the beautiful sky

It's such a clear day-o

"*Whoa*. This is a *huge* clearing... I thought the Piney Woods was just a *copse*!" exclaimed Mya.

"It's always been more than just that. Never judge a woods by its amount of trees." *Yikes, that sounded cringey.*

"I see what you did there..."

Go riding in your sweet lullabies

Come fly away, a-yo

"Sorry, my humor is... flat. I could *never* be you."

"You shouldn't feel obligated to be me! If we were all carbon-copies of each other, then the world would be *incredibly boring*. Winter, dead humor or not, you're *amazing* to be around. I mean it."

I smiled, full teeth, and let my eyes stay on the blue sky, clear, crisp, and *wonderful*.

I'm gliding in the beautiful sky

It's such a clear day-o

Mya *liked* me the way I was. She *loved* this me. She opened me up to her world, and in sync, I showed her my own. We were one side on the same coin, like twins, just not in appearance.

She *was* like a *sibling*. She *loved* my world, *loved* my persona, *and* taught me her own fun. *Fun*! She had chipped away my heart and sculpted a *bird* that took off in flight, catching the cool breeze and existing in perfect *harmony*.

Suddenly, my ears pricked, and I heard a *buzzing*. A *buzz*. A *tiny* buzz that any human would pass off as bug, but to me, was *familiar* - and my heart had skyrocketed to my throat.

Go riding in your sweet lullabies

Come fly away

There was a male rufous hummingbird, his brown, red, and white feathers *luscious* and *alluring*, calling me to him. He was pollenating a stray Pacific bleeding heart, one he always frequented, and wasn't aware I was here, neither was Mya.

It was time to *shock* my friend with one of my most *exceptional* surprises. Lighting with ecstasy, I *whistled*, and Mya turned to me.

"Why are you whistling?" She didn't need to say any more, as in five seconds, there was a hummingbird *perched on my finger*. She gasped, her eyes wide as *two silver moons*.

(Day-o, day-o, day-o, day-o)

"***YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH A HUMMINGBIRD***???"

"Sssh!" I quieted her, not wanting her to accidentally spook Rufie, though he seemed relatively unbothered and stared up at me. "Yeah, um... I didn't tell you and Evie about him, because it was absolutely *unbelievable*, and you guys would likely say it was impossible to be *bewitched by an animal*. But Rufie's stuck by me for a year... I'm surprised he hasn't flown off, let alone stopped recognizing me... I think he wants to get to know you, Mya."

Rufie chirped, and I held out my finger, beckoning him to greet Mya. He flew up to her face, zooming around her head, and she giggled, stepping over herself and tracking his movements. Her auburn hair tumbled over her shoulders messily, her eyes distractedly gauging my companion's speedy travels.

"He's so adorable! Oh my god! Aaaah! I wanna hold him! Winter, **you can speak to animals**!"

"Only Rufie," I pointed out, steadying my friend so she didn't smash her nose into the ground. Spinning around, she held my hands, her eyes glinting. Shimmering with love. Pride. A wonder to rival my own.

She let Rufie go, and we watched him soar into the sky, following the sun to his home. Mya gripped my hand, leaning on my shoulder, spaced out, but never far away from me.

"I believe you, Winter. You've always had your own fun... but your world is a place I'd want to *be*."

For all of the day's fun, *nothing* was as fun as her saying that she *believed* in my world. My viewpoints. *Everything* else that was a hidden secret.

We'd flown away, together, and I *ached* to have her stay, *ached* to have her do this again. *Aching* to have someone like that *stay* in my life, be the *constant*, make me *glide*.

I would glide in the sky if it meant having Mya stick around.

"Thanks for flying away with me, Mya. You've shown me a *lot*. There's so much color I'm glad you painted my home with... and I hope the colors here are a mainstay in your pallete. Here's to doing this... again?"

"Again," Mya promised, hooking her pinky to mine. Our eyes met, and all there was parting us was a clear, beautiful blue sky.

The days passed after my expedition into the varying shades of fun with Mya, calm, collected, and no threats in sight. Daniela had still screwed off, and Rex had the cork up her ass for sure. She was quiet, tongue held in class, and in the hallways, she wasn't a lurker, but just among the others, heading to class appropriately.

Daniela *conforming* to rules? PMS really *had* changed since I met Evie and Mya.

The girls were doing fine; Evie was already geared up for final exams, and her mother was making her study. She didn't break a sweat, showing me and Mya her folder of completed packets, and even a full essay she wrote in her second language. I could never write at that length in Spanish... Evie had *natural* expertise, more than anyone could dream.

Now Mya? Mya was on *another* type of fine... she was on *cloud nine*.

It was a calm night, the stars out, as I was tucked into my cabin, listening to *My Prayers Have Become Ghosts* (the song, not the full album) and ascending to the buildup before the second drop, bopping my head whilst, at the same time, recalling the *eventful* past few days.

Mya had texted me in the evening recently, having something to say to me. *Something* turned into *confessions*... and asking for my *advice*.

Me, a lowly stranger she had known for *weeks*, giving her *advice*. You're drumming your hands on your thighs again, and you're dying to hear what I have to say from my perspective. To be honest, my reaction is the same as yours.

Mya had gotten into a *serious* misadventure, one caused by her unfortunate amount of naivety, when she had coerced Evie (with *hard* persuasion) into taking a trip to this rundown manor in Airway Heights (I don't call it Geiger, it's boring).

Safe to say, it ended in *disaster*. Evie became uncomfortable and snapped - she did have the right to, Mya refused to listen to her warnings - and the two spent time alone, only to be trapped in their rooms.

Mya realized her longing for Evie and her desire to make things right. She didn't want to lose Evie, and lord, I'd be a wreck like she was if I lost Evie too - or *her*, for that matter.

Evie, being trained in a gajillion forms of martial arts (I see why she had restraint accosting me in our first meeting), busted down the door and then busted down Mya's. Mya was *overjoyed*... *way* too overjoyed.

She tripped, toppled onto Evie, and *kissed her*. When I read this, my jaw was on the freaking *floor*. My friends *kissed*. Evie brushed it off, but little did she know...

And that wasn't even the end of Mya's story! When they escaped, and after Evie had disarmed the bomb threat in her mother (Opal Ly is a *complicated* individual), Mya had stared after her... and just began *yearning* for things with Evie. Things that made my heart beat faster, my skin tingle, and my mind ring with something all too familiar.

I wasn't shocked when Mya then came out as queer to me. She sounded like me, at the grand age of eight, discovering that there was an entire galaxy of queer out there. She was nonstop *crushing* on Evie, gushing about her, but also feeling confused about her orientation, fearing things, expressing things. Her mind *does* go places, and the way she rants... sometimes, she makes me want to chuckle. She's a loon, and one I utterly adore.

Anyway, she asked me to help her, and so I gave her... advice. I didn't expect my own friends to turn to *me* for advice. I mean, what do I know about life? I'm not Alan Watts, not a philosopher, and not old and elderly with gained wisdom. I acted based on impulse, and relied on the internet when I was stumped.

The advice I gave Mya was structurally *sound*, coming from my heart, and what I knew and learned from my own experience. She took it well and had so much to say in return... she was worthy of several hearts.

Here I was tonight, just a few days after our talk. Mya had identified as bisexual and had come out to her parents, then later, Evie. Evie obviously had *no idea* that Mya's crush was her, and from the way Mya had described her reaction, she was as clueless and dorky as ever.

Mya was on top of the whole world, and reading through our texts again, I wished her nothing but rainbows, pride, and a universe she could tame to her liking. She was *precious*.

I had paused at my last message, sent by me - *<333333333*, when I heard a knock at the door.

"Hey! Can I come in?"

*Mya!* I paused *My Prayers Have Become Ghosts* and dashed for my key, sticking it through the knob and turning. Mya went flying through, grappling me in a hug, and we landed on the floor. *Thump*!

"Oof! You oaf, you're giving me back pain!" I joked, cheek in my mouth. Mya shifted, awkwardly sliding off of me.

"Do I need to run to Kroger and get you Icyhot?"

"Wouldn't get past the store's monitors without being questioned." I got up and shut the door, locking it up tight. "Sooo, you *bicon*, what brings you here tonight?"

Mya sheepishly focused on her shoes, holding her arms together and blushing. "I've just... felt so electric after telling Evie, and, uh... I wanted to celebrate with *you* - you *helped* me get to this point, and you've given me so much *clarity*. I just... I don't know how to *thank you*!"

My turn to blush and bite my lip. "I'm... I'm honored. You should credit yourself, too. It takes a ton of backbone to come out to people you love."

"Not without your help," Mya replied, putting a hand on my shoulder. She was *forever* grateful for me. Forever *loyal* to me. Cute and dorky and affectionate and *my best friend*. *More* than that. A moment so *sacrosanct* not even Evie would know about.

The birdie in my ear whispered to me that tonight was one for the *stars*.

"Do you want some snacks to eat?"

"Yeah!"

"I have Oreos, if you're interested."

"Yum! Gimme." I passed her the package, which she ripped open. I took one for myself, biting into it, and Mya stuffed multiple in her mouth, her cheeks bulging like a chipmunk's, and I nearly spat out my chewed Oreos in laughter.

"Pease dun't make mee cull anambulooance fer you," I said through mouthfuls before swallowing, as did Mya.

"You won't have to. I wouldn't want the demons and boogeymen out there putting a hand on you."

She was to me as there was constellations in the night sky.

Rubbing her lips, Mya excitably stared at me, her head tilted. I tilted mine.

Perfect sync.

"Now what?"

"It's not a party without a movie..." I wondered aloud. "Is there any particular movie you want to watch?"

"Let's watch *Tintin*! I've heard it's *brilliant*. Spielberg, too."

I remembered faintly how me and Dani would have loved *Tintin* a while ago, had it not come out after our breakup and... *that*. The pain lasted for a milisecond, and then I was happily searching up *Tintin* in clips for me and Mya.

We watched. Cheered. Laughed. Shuddered. And did the same things for the whole runtime.

"*Hooooo*. That was *fabulous*!" Mya cheered.

"Terrific," I added, winking at her. She winked back.

"Bad news. We got one bullet."

"Good news? *We got one bullet*!"

"Yeah!" Obligatory high-five and giggles.

We sat there for a moment, taking in the high, the drugs we held on our fingertips, inhaling down our tracheas. The night was *young*, black outside, and yet I saw the green and yellow lights of the woods, pocket-sized fireflies, lighting the way through the tangle of plants and trees.

*Hmm...* It wasn't *chilly*, just warm outside. Warm meant *perfect* nights under the stars, spending your blessings and messing with the starlight to your liking...

A lightbulb switched on in my head. You know what? My friend just *freaking came out to her best friend*. She *deserved* to be *spoiled*.

"Hey Mya... wanna go outside?"

Mya shot to her feet in an instant, landing on the ground and saluting me. "Your wish is my command!"

"Dork," I teased, unlocking the door, and she *soared* like an owl, landing with a thud outside. I stepped out, took a breath, and the door was locked.

I joined her side, checking to make sure that the steps were in correct order and perfectly unhindered...

"Are you in the mood for some *parkour*?" Mya had mentioned an illustrious love of parkour before, often bringing it up whenever she jumped from place to place like a cheeky monkey.

Mya's eyes sparkled, the green luminous as a firefly, and she crossed her fingers in anticipation. "*Actual* parkour?"

"Watch and learn!" I shouted to her, taking a running leap onto the broken tree and then jumping straight off the branch onto the roof, sticking the landing and *bowing*. I was *on top* of the *cabin*.

"You make it look so easy!" Mya whined below me, squinting and glancing dubiously at the broken tree, which, contrary to her belief, was sturdy. A Piney Woods tree couldn't be felled nor destroyed that easily - it was all apart of the magic.

I sat down, idly kicking my legs over the edge, and I waved at her. A tongue stuck out at me.

"Mya, you got this. The tree isn't gonna snap under your weight, and if you slip on the second jump, I'll catch you."

Mya sighed, rubbed down her hair, and shook her head. She wasn't going to be outfoxed and teased by her best friend, and yelling a "YOLO!" was enough battlecry to muster her *willpower*.

She leapt onto the tree, balance-beam-walked across the branch, and then made the (*rough*) landing on the roof.

"Jiminy Christmas..." she muttered, and I pulled her to my side, patting her on the shoulder.

"Now you've done legit parkour." I winked, and she smiled lightly, hands on her lap. I began to look up at the sky, nudging her, and she gasped, amazement flashing across her face.

Above us were *millions* of white and blue freckles, twinkling and all of varying size, dotting the face of a black, but blue-streaked sky. A nebula we could reach up and touch, pretend to feel, be among - and if our minds willed it, *run* amongst with misty wings.

"*Hot damn*!" Mya whispered, fidgeting and straining to get a closer look, almost falling flat onto her back. "It's like you can *hold* them... what are stars like to hold?"

That got me thinking. I'd ran *amongst* stars, but hadn't really *held* them, stow them in my hands.

"Warm, probably. They're balls of gas, after all... and they'd *also* probably give you third-degree burns. Best to think of them as little magic orbs that safeguard you from all of the world's evil when it's nighttime."

"Yeah... that sounds accurate to me." Mya leaned up against me, shoulder-to-shoulder, and we continued staring up at the sky, admiring the view in the gaps before us, becoming slightly obscured from some nightly cloud cover rolling through.

The night was *ours*. This moment was *ours*. *Sacred* to us. I was drowning in fuzziness, companionship, and immense *love*.

It wasn't even romantic love; I could *never* see Mya as a partner, not unlike my last one... but *platonic* love, which I had valued so damn much. Mya was a *sister*, my *soul* sister, and even though we were not related by blood... I was *glad* I could refer to her as my *sister*.

"Winter?"

"Yes?"

"Sorry if this is a personal question, but... would you ever choose to fall in love again?"

That made me pause, and my eyes were on my lap, no longer the fantastic specks of stars in the sky.

I didn't mind Mya asking me this question, especially since she'd just gotten her most powerful dosage of romance through falling for Evie, but I'd never really given much thought into *love*, or even taking another girlfriend.

What *was* that kind of love? Was I ready to *feel* that, *treat* myself to it? Who would love me? Was I *ever* going to feel the way I used to feel about girls?

Dani was my first love and always would be, but Dani was gone, replaced by Daniela, a monster teeming at the mouth with frothy resentment and militancy. What I had used to know - all of the highs, closeness, intimacy - was lost in the dust of my past. A past I'd *never* return to.

That didn't mean I *wasn't* capable of loving, and hearing Mya ask optimistically... gave me a different pulse in my heart.

"To be honest... I haven't thought about falling in love again. Maybe one day, since I don't trust *anyone* but you and Ev with my secrets and history. Having a new girlfriend and a fresher start though? It sounds... *pleasing*."

"You don't have to fall again right now. Love takes time. Me and Evie are *three years* in the making!" Mya's feet were kicking against the roof of the cabin again.

Love *did* take time. It was a flower, a rich one, that needed the right amount of cultivation in the hot sun, rain showers in the spring, and an array of beautiful landscaping, to *bloom*. My heart was open to that somebody... *Mya* had blown that door open... and I felt my mind drift off to what *could* be.

Another love? A promise, an *unbroken* one? A vow of eternal love? The nervous, shy butterflies were back, bouncing in my stomach, and my hand was shifting, shifting closer, until it touched *skin*.

A hand grasped mine strongly. I stared at Mya. We stared back.

We were holding hands, and there was no wall between us, only *love*. Mutual understanding. Fondness.

"I'm proud of you. You've grown so much," I admitted, meaning it with pride - Mya *had* grown, and now she was more mature since she learned to handle her feelings for Evie and tone down her wittiness so as to not make a scene.

"You've grown too... you're *far* more accepting. Your heart's open. You realized your strengths, valued friendship, all of the little things... I *always* knew there was more to you outside of being a *furious firecracker*."

True to that. I sighed, and Mya squeezed my palm, making me turn to her. What more could be adrift in her mind right now?

"Do you really think I've matured?" she asked gently, imploring leaf-green eyes melting me into her side. That look... oh, I was tripping over my heels for this girl. She was my platonic soulmate.

"You have. Any doubt about it?"

Leaf-green eyes darted to the ground. "No, I can't deny I've changed in the past few days, but... I don't wanna make the same gaffes I did. I don't wanna piss off Evie or humiliate myself... I want to stand my ground *and* retain my comedic side..."

Moral dilemma. I'd been here so many times... this girl definitely had self-esteem issues building up. Those were *tough* to overcome.

I nudged her shoulder in comfort.

"That's not much of a challenge to resolve, if you propose the question to me... be *you*, Mya," I encouraged, nodding at her with soft reassurance. She smiled, shyly, and a hint of blush appeared on her cheeks. *Aww.*

She raised up our interlocked hands. "Be me?"

"I'd be advised of your actions. Self-awareness is crucial in situations, and if you have a tight conscience, you're bound to act more rationally and be less naive. *Don't* just focus on becoming someone you're not. You can be mature and be a comedian at the same time... it shouldn't be hard for a *creative genius* like you."

Jesus christ, who wisened me up by several years? When I remember this conversation in the present day, it makes me wonder if my brain was secretly decoding an Alan Watts translation or if I had just morphed into Evie.

Mya lightly sighed, blinking, her feet returning to kicking against the roof. "I'll keep that in my noggin. Thanks, Win."

"Anytime." Our heads turned up to the stars. Mya nudged me, her brain off to La La Land.

"What do waking dreams become at night?"

"Guess the rooftop's gotten you thinking?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Could say the same about you. This view's pretty nice. A *very* ideal place for a waking dream."

*This view's pretty nice*. Mya didn't *know* of the *one place* which would be an upgrade. A *massive* upgrade.

A *star-studded* upgrade. A *haven* for a waking dream.

Come get me, come get me, come get me, come get me

Come get me, come get me, come get me, come get me

"You think *this* hits the spot? I can do you one better," I boldly stated, scrambling off the roof, back down the tree, and on the ground, waving at Mya. Beckoning her to follow the leader.

She hardly *knew* what I had *planned*.

Come get me, come get me, come get me, come get me

Come get me, come get me, comе get me, come gеt me

"Winter? Should I be concerned about the way you're smirking right now?" she called down from up top.

"Mya! Hurry up! We have to get to the place ASAP!"

Come get me, come get me, come get me, come get me

Come get me, come get me, come get me, come get me

I glanced up at the stars. Would they remain faithful to me and stay in place? This *was* Mya's night. *Our* night, and just for tonight, Mya could melt into the starry wonderland I lived among at *night*, when it was at its peak. When the dream felt *real*. When the dream was at its most *mystical*.

She had glimpsed this dream in *daylight*... but she had a secret language and a secret life to *decode* when the moon was at its highest and had the stars in *orbit*. *Night* was a whole kaleidoscope of *transcendental*.

"Kay!" A scrabble, a leap, and a *thump* was all it took for Mya to join my side, and I stared at the darkness mingled in the trees, presenting an ominous aura that I deflected with a flick of my arm.

Though you're not, though you're not, though you're not

Though you're not, though you're not, though you're not far away

"Where are we going? What's this *magnificent* place you're describing?" Mya asked, shuddering at the dark woods ahead of us.

"We're going through *there*," I pointed. "It's not as insidious as it looks. Trust me, I've ventured through the Piney Woods at night countless times. *Never* been mugged or ambushed."

You're still in outer space

Can't you come get me?

"That's... a *bit* more reassuring."

I gripped her hand, squeezing her palm and seeing *the starscapes* ahead. The swirling blues and teals and purples and *more* blues, the mists, Veela's *sweet*, *spacey* vocals that could sweep the most innocent souls into the depths of outer space...

I'm not that hard to save

Though you're not far away

I could *hear* it! Hear the *dream*! The *peace*! The *song* that had rescued me, and healed my will to *dream* and *thrive*!

Mya had been welcomed into my world, and there was no bridge or fence between us. We had the night, time, and Veela's everlasting patience on our side (this also served as my reckoning to actually get into Veela proper this time).

You're still in outer space

Can't you come get me?

My veins were *supercharged* with *energy*. A *rhythm* so intense it was shaking the ground, parting the darkness and the trees. There was a clear path and *stars* ahead. I had been the sole recipient of these stars, but it was time someone else stood in my limelight and reached *Valhalla*.

"Winter, are we going or-" Mya began, but I ran past her.

"Yes, we're going! But you're gonna have to catch me first, Mya!"

I'm not that hard to save

Shot out of a cannon, I bolted through the bushes, clearing rocks and logs, weaving and *dodging* around the trees. I was as agile as an mink, *dancing* to the way my rhythm desired, feeling *translucent*. *Invisible*, but perfectly seen.

The moon shone down on me, illuminating my form, and I heard Mya distantly calling for me. She wasn't built for speed, huh? That changed tonight.

I kept *zooming*, swerving around trees, which began to fog, become *transparent*. I could see *right through*.

The bleeding hearts were silver, a *starlit* silver. Yes, this *was* the way to the clearing! Me and Mya were on the right track.

In the back of me, Mya was huffing and puffing, but not in the mood to be blowing this house down. I was panting, too, but of *exhileration*. *Desire* to see the stars.

The trees were a blur, and I swear the stars were getting *closer*, and *closer*, and *closer*. They were coming down to *me*. *Whispering* to me.

*Home*.

The trees parted, the gap wide enough for me to squeeze through, and I had entered the clearing. The grasses were tinted a blue-silver from the moonlight, and some of the trees were still budding with white flowers from the spring bloom. Pollen was in the air, and so was *magic*. A magic that made my ears and heart *buzz*.

Valhalla was only a few steps away.

The bushes and pine needles rustled and *crunched* behind me, and Mya stumbled in, her breathing a *mess*, and she had a leaf in her auburn hair which she plucked out and dropped.

Hard to save

She stumbled up to my side, taking in ragged breaths and holding her chest. "I... I clearly do not practice running enough in PE..." she stuttered through breaths before she re-composed herself straight as a pine tree.

"We've made it," I informed her, twitching in *hope*. This was only the *beginning*.

"Made it? To the clearing? Why are we-"

"Ssh. Look up," I instructed gently, taking her hand and pointing her up to the most *vast*, *shining*, *pure*, *enthralling*, *enlivening* sight she had *ever* seen in her whole life.

Hard to save

Trees, in a circle around us, pointing up to a *web* of *stars* in the sky. A *sky* that only had *stars*, a gateway to *heaven* and *Valhalla* combined, *spirits* twined with the stars. *We* were twined with the stars, which gleamed and made the whole clearing bathe in alabaster light. Silvers, blues, purples, streaking the sky.

Something *true* and *real* that *we* could share with each other. A waking dream unfolding in real time. *Space*, its *wonder*, its enchantment, cast down upon us. An angel's *summoning*.

Though you're not far away

You're still in outer space

"*Oh my gosh*!" Mya bursted out suddenly, clutching my shoulder and shaking me eagerly. "I... I don't know *what to say*! This is just... just so *beautiful*... one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen *in my entire lifetime*!"

"I concur," I said, leaned up against her.

"T-Thank you, Winter... you wanted to show me the stars... I wasn't expecting being so *open* and *close* to them!"

Can't you come get me?

I'm not that hard to save

"My friend, I'm abundant with surprises. This is where I go to be close to the stars... dream myself to *be* with them. The first time I went here, I was lost, seeking salvation and counsel... and my dreams led me to recall Mom... what she *taught* me. The stars helped me *rediscover myself*, refine what I had. I think you'll find they hold some meaning to you, too."

Mya bounced up and down on her heels, still entranced by the stars and the colors and vividness of outer space. "I wish I had known that I could see the stars in HD here before! I... I want to take Evie here. Could she see as well? Sometime?"

"You guys are my friends. There's no harm in letting you guys mingle with the gods and spirits up there," I commented, keeping Mya close to me. We kept our eyes to the stars, bonded to them, *never* letting go of them.

I don't leave easily

And I can shock your brain

"Do you think we could ever see ourselves up there?" Mya inquired, and a *comet* blazed past my vision. I saw *stars*. *Space*. *Heaven*.

"We can, but we have to think in stride. Close your eyes, don't move. Only *think* about the stars..." I soothed, holding her hand, pressed up, body to body, warmth building an orb of light.

Take me or seize me

I won't come willingly

"Do you see the black field I see?"

"Yep."

"Change of scenery. Space is *huge*. *Infinite*. There are stars *everywhere*!" Stars dotted the blackness, a connect-the-dots never able to be solved in a day.

Hard to save

"Not just stars, but *dazzling* lights in all sorts of hues! Greens, blues, purples, pinks, *every* color under the rainbow!" Mya added.

"Yes! And there's the occasional comet, since Halle's comet is once in a blue moon."

"The stars are swirling... forming animal spirits!"

Come get me, come get me, come get me, come get me

Come get me, come get me, come get me, come get me

"The animal spirits come to us... and bless us with life, love, laughter, and *passion*!"

"This is *your* waking dream," Mya murmured, totally starstruck.

"No. It's *ours*. You've contributed to it, and you *deserve* to be apart of it."

Come get me, come get me, come get me, come get me

Come get me, come get me, come get me

I heard *sniffling*. Mya was *speechless*, and was *hugging me*. "Thank you so much for letting me into your world... but there's one last thing."

She wiped away her tears, gazing up at me with eyes to thaw me to goop on the ground. "What is it?"

She tapped me on my heart, and a crafty, devious, foxy smirk appeared on her face.

"Tag... you're it!"

Hard to save

With that, she took off in a sprint, laughing. "Get back here!" I yelped, taking off after her, but it seemed Mya's comments about PE were a red herring.

She was shockingly nimble, able to clear half of the clearing and circumference the edge, dodging mushrooms, feinting around trees, and leaping over logs, though this didn't stop me from tagging her back.

Hard to save

"Ha!" I declared, but triumph was short, and she jumped off a rock to tag me again. "Eat your words!"

"I will never! They don't taste appetizing!"

We kept *running*, and *running*, and *running*, and *running*. Endlessly charged by the light of the moon, the distant humming of Veela, as her vocals were taken in a new light I had yet to understand. Would I eventually? Maybe.

The starscapes were an infinite world that would take *years* to form and mend, branch off into independence. Until then, I had what I had in this clearing, a *magic* clearing, with a magic best friend.

A magic soul sister. A *sorceress*.

I tagged Mya again, but in the process, I stumbled over a gap in the ground. "Whoa!"

*Thud*.

I was on top of Mya, flattening her by the chest, and she was gasping for air, her leafy-green eyes deadlocked on my own.

She looked *winded* - but then, in Mya fashion, broke out *laughing*.

"Get off of me! You're a giant cat!"

"I don't want to. You're too cute."

"Now you sound like Evie!"

*Touché*. Defeated, I rolled off, and we sat together, the warmth and fuzz and awe and *starry* sights in our blood, in our veins, in our *hearts*, giving us *life*.

One light had become *two*.

Though you're not far away

You're still in outer space

"That was *spectacular*," Mya remarked, exhausted, her eyes half-closed, yet still hooked on the galaxies in the sky.

"It's always like that on the first experience. It gets better the more you do it."

"I understand why you love the stars now."

Can't you come get me?

I'm not that hard to save

The stars were forever going to be my silent, guiding light. They may have not spoken, and may have only gained minimal sentience in my dreams, but Mya had enriched the world. Made it larger, enough to accomodate *two*.

Two *souls*, *guardians* of the woods... Mya had filled a void I had given up trying to fill so long ago.

I didn't need *romance* or *love* to patch in the gaps... but a *different* kind of affection. A *strong*, *fleeting* affection that'd make me melt on a breezy morning.

I don't leave easily

And I can shock your brain

To think it would be derived from *having friends in my life again* would be a preposterous thought to the me of a few weeks ago. But now? I *loved* my friends.

And I loved my sister figure more than anything.

"I understand why having friends is essential now," I chimed in, and Mya, warmly sighing, took up my hand for the last time that night.

"This night just can't end."

Take me or seize me

I won't come willingly

While the night *did* come to an end, I slept *happy* that night, believing that *finally*, life was on a rebound. Life was *healing*. I was feeing braver, *taller*, and *determined*. I was going to *survive* seventh grade and let my heart *grow*. Trust in others, make *new* friends, and move on from a life so sheltered to a wild, *vibrant* life where I'd scream and shout and just, for once, genuinely *smile*.

However, there was *one* last battle to fight. A dangerous battle of fates was on the horizon, closer in the rearview mirror than it appeared.

*Reality* was calling, tired of my missed texts. It was *coming* right to my *doorstep*.

This time, I wouldn't be able to deny that the life I lived was *unstable*, and the magic was being *drained*.

Something *dark* was poisoning my very *bones*.

There would be no escape from *reality*. That night would be the *last* of my waking dreams.

After that waking dream, there would only be a *nightmare* - and a *real*, *blood-curdling* nightmare about to be unleashed from the very pits of my heart.

Friends are the most *beneficial* factors one could *ever* have in life. They're saccharine, preach jubilee, have fair ethics, and keep you company when the world chooses to be dreary and screws you in the pooch more times than you can count to ten.

Just a *sole* friendship can alter the course of your *life*. You may not value the gift of a friend at first, but when you open that gift and come to see the *light*, the *salvation*, the *hope*, and the *strength* you desperately quested for, you'll find you never regret.

One's heart must open in order to acquire friends. Not opening it is not living a life that has been fully loved and cherished.

Sometimes, friendship is *needed* to see life in a finer print. To enjoy everything, from mundane chores to trips in the real world you can *actually* be stoked for.

Having friends *doesn't* change your blood, your origins, or your history. It doesn't change your basic molecules, but it can make you *grow*. *Change* your stripes, reckon, and, as I'd learn in the days following this chapter's ending, *resonate*.

Friends make life sweeter. Worthwhile. Merry and joyous and full of color and life.

Even the flowers that blossom in shadow can welcome friends.

Evie and Mya had grabbed sledgehammers and *smashed* my expectations for them. What was a hostile meeting, me believing I had been stalked, doxxed, and about to *lose* it all to *power-hungry demons*, was a misunderstanding - but a misunderstanding that was *required*.

With them around, I felt *invincible*. The amount of threats diminished. Life became safer, and I found myself charmed by the prospect of a new way of fun, a new world I could share and invite my friends into. When where these two a threat? Never!

Evie and Mya had pledged their loyalty to me. They cared, and delivered, and showed me reverence and tenderness, what I had needed in my times of conflict and disparities. They had my heart and my eyes, carved their initials onto them, and I proudly showcased it.

I learned that honesty was a *virtue*. Transparency was *needed* to suture the scars and hold the hands, to provide assurance. To know you were loved. Whenever Evie and Mya were around, days were *longer*. *Better*. *Livelier*.

I was *fond* of them, and I loved them both for their individuality, their differences, and their chemistry. They *changed me* for the *better*.

I didn't *regret* a single second - especially since now, Mya was a sister figure to me. She might have never felt the same way, but I *loved* her, and I *loved* Evie.

I was on top of the world, and no one would bring me down.

Oh, but denial was a *major* negative trait of mine, a *habit* I could never lose. A *nasty* habit.

Being on top of the world lasted for mere hours. All too soon, I was *caught* without release, without *escape*. There were knives against my throat, a *bigger* threat than I had *ever* known, more powerful, and supercharged with *hate*.

A *strong*, *metallic* hate that had burst past its limit, unable to be calculated.

This was the *biggest* threat of my *entire life*. Bigger than Lars and the clique, the Snowblind bullying, being caught, and even Daniela - *combined*.

None of the aforementioned were my *real* threats, or my real enemies, but *one* entity in particular, one *notion*, that was my enemy the entire time.

When I was finally snared, gutted of everything, and made to be a fool, made to be *nothing*, I thought it was *over*. I thought this would be the *end*.

But I still had *one* last choice to make, and both options were a *suffocating* amount of *tantalizing*.

Either I could run away permanently, like always, and start anew and alone... or I'd *resonate* and face my true threat, defeat it once and for all.

The choice was mine. It was either *survive* or *fall*.

## Cast

* **Mae Whitman** as Winter
* **Dakota Fanning** as Mya
* **Peyton Elizabeth Lee** as Evie
* **Eden Riegel** as Daniela
* **Nora Dunn** as Rex
* **Donna Murphy** as Mrs. Zannipus
* **Jorge Diaz** as Aiden

## Songs

* Laura Brehm - *Trouble*
* Invermere & Veela - *Come Fly Away*
* Varien - *My Prayers Have Become Ghosts* (snippet)
* TwoThirds & Feint - *Starscapes* (ft. Veela) [Rameses B Remix]

## Trivia

* The chapter is named after a line from *You Hide* ("I've watched a hand across these skies / Slowly dancing past a thousand eyes").
* Winter quotes *Moonlight* for a second time in the chapter's monologue.
* The poster for the chapter is a recreation of a background from the official Monstercat Silk upload of *The Secret Language of Trees*, an album by BT.
* The chapter is primarily inspired by *Jumpsuit*.
* As Winter narrates her monologue on friendship, she alludes to the Ike and Tina Turner song *River Deep - Mountain High* and quotes a song from Season 3 of *My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic*, *A True, True Friend*.
* "Dances With Nitwits" is a reference to *Dances With Wolves*.
* It is revealed that:
	+ Winter ran off to the clearing after snapping at Evie and Mya. She also believed the two were stalking her (though it becomes evident that the stalker is actually Daniela later on).
	+ Winter spent her time between *Meeting Winter* and *Stalker* worrying that Evie and Mya would hate her for blindsiding them, which was why she hid from them. After getting persuasion from Rex, however, she switched some of her periods to be with them, enabling their friendship to grow.
	+ Winter bonded with the girls individually, correlating with events mentioned by Evie in *Dancing in the Dark*. She also became close to Mya, who spent a day hanging out with her out of the belief she needed an intervention to have fun. However, she relented upon realizing that Winter had her own ways and entered her world, even meeting Rufie.
	+ Like Mya mentioned in *She's Plotting Something*, she and Winter hung out not long after she came out to Evie and partied. Their conversation became personal to some degree, making Winter think about falling in love again. She then raced Mya to the clearing and showed her the brilliance of the stars and night, further enamoring her into her waking dream.
* Winter almost calls Mya a bitch internally in her thoughts upon confronting her.
* Briefly, Winter references *Secrets* when speaking about Evie and Mya. Like in *Meeting Winter*, she also references *Snowblind*.
* As Winter contemplates her relations with Evie and Mya, the Laura Brehm song *Trouble* plays in the background.
* When Winter dwells upon Aiden, she makes a nod to the Approaching Nirvana song *Watching the Clock*.
* During the retelling of Winter's fight with Daniela from *Stalker*, she references the Porcelain Black song *Pretty Little Psycho*.
* "I guess I had retained my skill of being a proficient liar," is a reference to the Kooma and Veela song *Kiss*.
* When Mya jokes that she's not like the Titanic, she references the tagline of the doomed ocean liner from the 2010 film *Titanic 2*, "built for speed."
* For the second time, *Welcome to the Jungle* gets referenced, this time by Mya instead of Daniela.
* While Winter and Mya learn each other's respective ways to have fun, the Invermere and Veela song *Come Fly Away* is played in the background. Originally, the song for the scene was going to be *Close to the Sun* by TheFatRat, but upon finding *Come Fly Away*, Av fell in love with it and dedicated to include it instead.
* The "wings" Winter spreads are the wings of a female rufous hummingbird.
* As Winter notes herself, she listens to a minor snippet of *My Prayers Have Become Ghosts* before she is distracted by Mya knocking on the door.
* The song that plays as Mya and Winter marvel at the stars is a reprise of *Starscapes*, this time being the Rameses B remix of it.
* As Winter plays tag, she tells Mya that eating her words isn't appetizing, which is another reference to *Monster* by Dodie.