Mysshell Kwan/Transcript

(The episode starts with Mystic watching a detective film on the TV, when her stomach growls)

Mystic: Oh gee, well…(snapping her fingers as Candle Man walks into the kitchen) Oh dearest Candle Man! Will you get the queen the finest grilled cheese you can make for the dearest?

Candle Man: (Groans.) Yes, your majesty.

(As he starts making it, he continues hearing the snap noises, Mystic wanting him to hurry up, each snap driving him more crazy, until Candle Man gets fed up with the snaps)

Candle Man: MYSTIC, CAN YOU PLEASE STOP?!

Mystic: Oh, how dare you speak to your queen like that!

Candle Man: ME, LIME AND SHADUCK AREN’T YOUR SUBJECTS TO BOSS AROUND! THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR WAY TOO LONG!

Mystic: Who’s to say? Now, make me my grilled cheese.

Candle Man: Alright, you’ll get one in about twenty minutes.

Mystic: Twenty?! The grilled cheese maker can make one in five!

Shaduck: Well, you don’t have it anymore, so deal with it.

Person on TV: We interrupt this bossy girl with a surprising bulletin! Are you hungry?

Mystic: Yes.

Person on TV: Do you like grilled cheese sandwiches?

Mystic: Yes!

Person on TV: Are you tired of taking twenty minutes to make the grilled cheese sandwiches?

Candle Man, Shaduck, and Limefong: YES!

Person on TV: If you said yes to all three of those questions, then come on down to the Wikia Skating Rink! We are holding a skating competition where the winner gets a brand new grilled cheese maker!

Mystic: Now that sounds like heaven...well, aside from the skating part.

Person on TV: See you at the skating rink! (Quietly and reading the fine print at the bottom of the screen like in medical and car commercials.) Shaducks not welcome.

Shaduck: Eh.

Mystic: This is my big break! But I’m gonna need a dress. I’ll have to make o-

Person on TV: And now, back to your regularly scheduled program.

(Comes back on.)

Mystic: Eh, you guys do it for me.

Candle Man, Shaduck, and Limefong: ARGH!

(She starts eating a bag of chips while watching the TV. Theme song plays.)

Shaduck: Wow, she can be just as lazy as you, Candle Man.

Candle Man: Well, that’s my Mystical for you. Sweet on one half, bitter on the other.

Shaduck: I think it’s more like 100% bitter.

Limefong: If you don’t like her, then why are you helping us make the dress?

(Zooms out on them in Candle Man’s room, where Candle Man sits at a sewing machine, and Limefong is dying old fabric.)

Shaduck: I DON’T KNOW!

Candle Man: Now what will fit the perfect Mysti- (A ball of yarn is thrown at him by Shaduck.) OW!

Shaduck: It’s obvious that she needs to look like a mess because she is one.

Candle Man: NO! We need someone to help, someone who really knows Mystic.

Limefong: All we need is a dress that fits her and some skates. I don’t think we need help of any sort.

Candle Man: Is something wrong with making the dress fit her style?

Limefong: Not that I know of. You’re the one making it.

(Suddenly, the sewing machine goes nuts, and it completely ruins the dress.)

Limefong: How ‘bout we switch jobs? Shaduck, do you mind going out and getting her ice skates?

Shaduck: Yes.

Limefong: Good. Bye now.

(He pushes Shaduck out the door.)

Shaduck: Hmph.

(He walks past Mystic, who has completely made a mess of the couch.)

Shaduck: Mystic, we just got that couch!

Mystic: We did?

Shaduck: Yes. After we got home from vacation, remember?

Mystic: Oh, yeah!

Shaduck: Anyway, what’s your shoe size?

Mystic: I only wear flip flops and slippers, and one size fits all.

Shaduck: You know those things are bad for your feet, right?

Mystic: What do you care?

Shaduck: I’m going to get your skates for you, you ungrateful flip!

Mystic: JUST GET ME SOME SIZE EIGHTS, OKAY?!

Shaduck: FINE!

(Meanwhile, Limefong stitches the dress. Candle Man dyes fabric next to him.

Candle Man: So you just assumed Mystic would like a purple dress?

Limefong: Well, yeah! That is her favorite color, right?

Candle Man: Well yeah, but I see it with sparkles.

Limefong: Why do you think I got out the glitter?

(He holds up a giant container with glitter filling it to the brim.)

Candle Man: Huh, you must be psychic.

Limefong: No, I just know what your criticisms sound like.

Candle Man: Hmph.

Limefong: But anyway, this dress is coming along fine. Check it out!

(He holds up the front of the dress, which has just been stitched. The dress is lavender, with glitter around the bottom and top. The dress is poofy, like ones in a princess movie.)

Candle Man: Do you think she’d like it?

Limefong: Maybe the final dress should be less on the poofy side.

Candle Man: Good idea.

(Now over to Shaduck, who is in Lace Up Your Sleeve. He looks in the ice skates aisle, but can find no size eight skates. Pesron walks up wearing a uniform.)

Pesron: Do you need any help, Shaduck?

Shaduck: Pesron? You work here?

Pesron: I’ve gotta make a living. Anyway, why are you here looking at skates of all things?

Shaduck: That dumb Mystic is attending a skating competition and Candle Man and Limefong made me get the skates.

Pesron: What size is she?

Shaduck: Eight.

Pesron: Hmm, let me see… (He taps something on an oPad, then looks back up.) Unfortunately, we are all out.

Shaduck: Quackerjack! I’ll just have to make them myself!

Pesron: How?

Shaduck: All I need is some leather and two sharp blades.

Pesron: Yes, that’s how everyone thinks of it, right?

Shaduck: (Oblivious to the sarcasm.) Right! See you later!

(Scene cuts back to the Candle house. Shaduck comes back with a pair of boots and walks into Candle Man’s room. The latter stares at the boots then at Shaduck like he’s crazy.)

Candle Man: Uh, Shaduck… those aren’t skates. Those are...old boots.

Shaduck: Well excuse me for not finding any skates in that dumb Mystical’s size. Are you done with the dress?

Candle Man: Yep! Take a look!

(Limefong holds up the slightly-poofed dress, which is purple with glitter around the hem and collar, with a bit sprinkled across the torso. A green ribbon wraps around the midsection of the dress. However, a big splotch of light blue is splattered on the right-hand side of the dress.)

Shaduck: Um… what’s with the blue?

Limefong: Candle Man accidentally knocked over the blue dye and it hit the dress.

Candle Man: Well, you can’t blame me for how boring doing all of the dying work is!

(Shaduck then claps in Candle Man’s face.)

Shaduck: Bravo, Candle Man, bravo, you messed up Mystic’s dress and now she’ll think that you're a flipping joke.

Candle Man: Um, no, she won’t.

Shaduck: How can you be so sure?

Candle Man: …WE’RE DATING!

Shaduck: We’ve been talking about that lame deathaholic for too long. Limefong, where’s the knife rack?

Limefong: It’s in the cupboard to the left of the oven, why?

(Shaduck runs out of the room, down the hall, and into the kitchen. He opens the cupboard and takes out the knife rack, looking at every knife and noticing they are all different sizes.)

Shaduck: ARGHHHHHH! I NEED THE KNIFE SHARPENER!

(He searches through all of the cupboards, searching for it, but doesn’t find it. He throws things out and does not put them back, eventually making the kitchen a mess.)

Shaduck: WHERE IS THE GOD DANG-

(He stands up and notices it’s been on the counter the entire time.)

Mystic: HA YOU FOOL! THAT’S WHERE IT’S BEEN EVER SINCE WE GOT IT, SUCKER!

Shaduck: I’m sorry, do you want mismatched skates? No? Okay.

(He grinds two knives to the same length.)

Shaduck: These skates will be so good, I should be using them!

(Scene suddenly cuts to the skating competition auditions. Mystic is in the ruined dress Limefong and Candle Man made and skating. A loud screeching is heard as the knives scratch the ice. Zooms on the skates, which are the equally sharpened knives duct taped to the boots. Zooms out, and it shows Mystic trying to do tricks, but failing at every one. Finally, she does a leap in her skates, but she fails, slipping and falling onto the ice, and skidding to halt in front of the judges: Jackie, Mr. Deen, and C0F-3, the staff for the rink.)

Mr. Deen: Let me just say: that stunk on ice.

C0F-3: But it’s supposed to be on ice, isn’t it?

Jackie: Not the point. Mystic, you did awful, but not many people auditioned, and the people who did barely knew how to stand up in skates!

Mystic: Well it doesn’t help that my friends made me look like a joke!

C0F-3: But they tried their best, didn’t they? I heard your rival tried to make you great skates!

Mr. Deen: If that’s so, then you’ve been too hard on your friends. It’s not their fault you can’t skate.

Mystic: But you said not everyone did well, right?

Mr. Deen: Yes.

Jackie: You probably did the best out of the few people who auditioned.

Mystic: So am I in?

C0F-3: Barely.

Mr. Deen: Now get out of here before I have to look at that dress another second.

(Mystic then rushes out of the room, while trying to keep her balance, as the scene cuts back to the Candle house, where Candle Man, Limefong, and Shaduck watch Mystic run in.)

Candle Man: Hey, Mystic. How was the audition?

Mystic: Well, I guess I owe you guys an apology.

Shaduck: FINALLY!

Limefong: Why?

Mystic: I may have insulted your work.

Candle Man: BUT WE DID VERY WELL!

Shaduck: I wasted a whole day trying to fulfill your demands!

Mystic: Yeah, I know you struggled a lot, and I also noticed how much of a snob I am. I should have been more supportive instead of a giant sleemo.

Shaduck: Is that even a word?

Mystic: It’s Huttese for slimeball.

(Knowing this fact, Candle Man imagines a vision where Mystic is a living slimeball, as his tongue hangs out.)

Candle Man: Eugh, I feel gross knowing that...Now I can’t unsee that...EUGH!

Mystic: Whatever, so do you forgive me for being a sleemo?

(Silence where Candle Man, Limefong and Shaduck look at each other.)

Candle Man: Yeah, we forgive you, right guys?

Limefong: At least you recognize where you went wrong.

(Candle Man and Limefong look over at Shaduck.)

Shaduck: Fine, I forgive you…

Mystic: Great, now if I’m going to be “La regina del pattinaggio”-

Candle Man/Limefong/Shaduck: Huh?!

Limefong: Care to translate that Italian, Mystic?

Mystic: Oh right, sorry. I mean, if I’m going to be “The queen of skating”, we are going to have to work together.

Candle Man: Yeah!

(A montage begins. Mystic throws a large bucket of water on the concrete outside. She then brings out a hair dryer and sets it on cold. The montage music stops as the screen shows Mystic taking a long time trying to freeze to water.)

Mystic: Any moment now.

(The screen continues to show her trying to freeze it and taking a long time. It then cuts to a while later. The water is frozen, and Mystic is on the ice. Limefong watches from off the ice as Mystic attempts to perform a trick, but slips and falls on her butt. Shaduck, from a little while away, chuckles.)

Mystic: (Sounding annoyed.) You would know the struggle of trying to ice skate if you were in my situation.

Shaduck: I’m a duck. I can skate.

(Back to the montage, Mystic and Candle Man arrive at a roller rink. Mystic puts on roller skates and walks onto the rink. Candle Man puts on his own and skates onto the rink. Mystic tries to walk to the center of the rink, but she falls. Candle Man helps her up and holds her hand as they start skating together. Soon, Mystic gets the hang of it, but when Candle Man lets her go, she immediately falls. Candle Man facepalms. As Candle Man helps her up again and they skate across the screen, the scene simultaneously sweeps back to the makeshift ice rink, where they do the same. Limefong and Shaduck, the latter looking unamused, watch as Candle Man and Mystic execute a perfect trick together. Zooms in on Mystic, who looks out while skating. She looks to her side where Candle Man is supposed to be, but he is not there, his hand instead switched out for Teddy Mouse. Mystic tenses, but she does not fall. Limefong and Candle Man watch Mystic’s skating with widened eyes. Mystic, finally, perfectly executes the trick she’s been trying since the tryouts. Montage ends as Candle Man and Limefong applaud. Cuts to inside the Candle House.)

Shaduck: I gotta admit, you’ve gotten better.

Mystic: …Is this a trick?

Shaduck: No. But, to be fair, I found it more entertaining when you were awful.

Mystic: Thanks, I guess.

Candle Man: So, are you ready to crush it in the tournament?

Mystic: You know I am!

(The group arrives at the Wikia Skating Rink. However, as they lay their eyes upon the competition: everyone has gotten much better, and more good people have joined.)

Candle Man: Did you… expect this?

Mystic: N-no!

(She runs over to Jackie.)

Mystic: I thought you said the competition was terrible!

Jackie: It was. All of the good competitors tried out after you left!

Mystic: Crackerjack! Guess I’m gonna have to do better than all of them.

(Scene cuts to Baghead on a stepladder, who is using bags to make paper snowflakes. The screen then moves over to the Candle Friends, who are talking nearby. Shaduck is missing.)

Limefong: This is gonna be harder than we thought.

Mystic: Don’t worry. You guys taught me well!

Candle Man: Uh, Shaduck didn’t do anything.

Limefong: Where is Shaduck anyway?

(Shaduck walks over with a soft pretzel.)

Shaduck: Yo.

Mystic: Where did you get that?

(Shaduck jerks a thumb over his shoulder, gesturing to a concessions stand run by a girl with black hair and a yellow sweater.

Shaduck: Over there.

Candle Man: I’m hungry.

Limefong: Me too!

(The other begin to depart to get snacks.)

Mystic: Are their stomachs all they think about? I’m about to compete in a big tournament, and they just want snacks!

Shaduck: Mystic, you wanted to do this yourself. We will be watching, but this was your quest. (Triumphant music plays.) And those who start their quests, must finish them!

(The music begins to play, Mystic uninspired, but stops abruptly at the next line.)

Mystic: You just said all this so you guys can continue to be lazy, huh?

Shaduck: Precisely.

Mystic: But you have a point. I will finish my quest!

(The loudspeaker comes on, a bit of feedback being heard. Candle Man returns with nachos, and Limefong has a slice of pizza.)

Jackie: (Over loudspeaker.) All participants of the ice-skating tournament must report to the rink!

Mystic: That’s my cue! Bye, guys!

(She runs off. Candle Man eats some nachos.)

Candle Man: I thought she was scared to do this.

Shaduck: I snapped her out of it.

(Candle Man sniffs.)

Candle Man: Do you guys smell something?

(Zooms out to reveal the bag snowflakes have caught on fire due to Candle Man’s flame. Baghead’s stepladder is shown vacant at the side of the screen. Baghead runs up with a fire extinguisher and sprays the snowflakes. Cuts to darkness, but a spotlight appears, with one of the gazelles from The Grand Theft tournament is underneath. The gazelle skates around and does a few tricks, but ends up on his back.)

The crowd: Ooh!

(Jackie, Mr. Deen, and C0F-3 give their ratings: 7, 7, and 6.)

Jackie: I thought we agreed with seven.

C0F-3: Tell that to my analyzer.

(The spotlight comes on again, and Moose is underneath.)

Mr. Deen: Alright, buck, let’s see what you can do.

(Moose skates, does a trick, and ends up executing it perfectly. The judges rate it 8, 8, and 8.)

Candle Man: Didn’t know Moose could skate.

Limefong: Me neither.

Shaduck: We’ve learned a lot this week.

(The spotlight comes on again, and underneath is Kitchen.)

Limefong: Kitchen?!

Shaduck: What’s she doing here?!

(Baghead shushes them. Kitchen does trick after trick and doing everything perfectly, but Candle Man melts a hole underneath Kitchen, and she falls into the water.)

The Judges: CANDLE MAN!

Candle Man: She’s a Spammer! What could I do?

(The spotlight then reveals R7-A1.)

Shaduck: Is that even legal?

Baghead: It is now.

(Baghead gestures to C0F-3, who plays music first heard at the end of “Duck Bops”. All R7-A1 does is roll around.)

Baghead: Do some tricks, darn it!

(R7-A1 turns on his jets to do a trick, but the ice melts and R7-A1 gets slightly electrocuted. The judges give him fours, but C0F-3 gives the droid an eight.)

Mr. Deen: Biased scum!

C0F-3: Can you blame me?

(Finally, Mystic appears. The Candle Friends cheer.)

Mystic: C0F-3, mind giving me some music?

C0F-3: You know I don’t!

(C0F-3 plays piano rock. Mystic skates and does several maneuvers on the ice. She does her trick and executes it perfectly. The judges give her 8, 9, and 9.)

Candle Man: Yes!

Limefong: She’s definitely moving on!

(Cuts to a while later, where everyone is taking a break.)

Jackie: The first round has ended. The skaters rolling on are Dewey Duck, Moose Elko, Bobert Bebop, Cubie Cubeson, Zim Zoder, Dora Chīzu, Mint Chip, and Mystic Star!

(The eight finalists stand in a group. Cubie is a giant ice cube with limbs and a chiseled face.)

Limefong: Of course the literal ice cube is moving on.

Shaduck: He’s some competition.

Candle Man: He nearly got a perfect ten last round!

Mystic: You guys aren’t helping.

Limefong: But you got to the next round, didn’t you?

Mystic: I guess.

Candle Man: Maybe a snack can cool your nerves.

(They walk up to the concessions stand. The girl with black hair and a yellow sweater greets them.)

Concessions stand girl: Hi, I’m Space! Whatcha need?

Mystic: I’ll have a-

(Mystic pauses as she watches Cubie walk up and push Shaduck out of the way.)

Cubie: Move it, duckling.

Candle Man: Rough one, aren’t you?

Cubie: Does it matter if I’m rough? (To Space.) I’ll have my usual.

Space: Alright!

Mystic: Watch who you’re pushing, cold cut!

Cubie: You better watch yourself. I’m the big guy around here. I’ve been to this place every day for the last three years, and I’m not letting you cramp my status.

(She gives him a soft pretzel with nacho cheese on it. As he departs, he pushes Limefong out of the way.)

Cubie: Move, weakling.

(Limefong growls.)

Candle Man: He didn’t even pay!

Shaduck: Mystic, looks like we finally have a common enemy. Destroy that guy before I do.

(Cuts back to the tournament. Dewey skates across the ice, but his left skate breaks and he falls over. Jackie makes a thumbs down. The spotlight then finds itself over Bobert, who skates around and does a few tricks. Mr. Deen makes a thumbs up. It is then over to Zim, who shows off, but karma gets to him: he falls over and loses a tooth. C0F-3 makes a thumbs down. Finally, Cubie comes onscreen. He does trick after trick and wows the judges. They all give him a thumbs up. Cuts to another break.)

Jackie: The second round has ended. The skaters rolling on are Moose Elko, Bobert Bebop, Cubie Cubeson, and Mystic Star!

Candle Man: Hooray!

Mystic: (To herself) Huh, I’m doing better than I thought I would. (She feels someone bumping into her.) What in Galaxia’s name?

(Cubie reveals himself from behind her.)

Cubie: You have some guts to go against me, pill girl. Good luck. (Walking away.) You're going to need it.

Limefong: How rude!

Mystic: I know, right? What a jerk! (To herself.) Don’t get paranoid. You can do this, Mystic.

(Over to the next round, Moose skates across the rink, does a twirl or two, and slides up to the judges. However, he drops into the hole Candle Man made. Bobert is next, and he does very well. After that is Mystic, who skates around and does trick after trick after trick and skates beautifully. Finally, Cubie skates, and he wows the judges. Cuts to the final break.)

Jackie: The skaters going to the final round are Mystic Star and Cubie Cubeson!

Cubie: Hmm. Maybe you’re better than I thought, pillhead. But you won’t survive the last round.

(He walks away.)

C0F-3: The final round, automatically accommodated with music, will have both skaters go head to head!

Mystic: Oh geez, this’ll be fun.

Cubie: Yes, it will… when I make you melt.

(Scene fades to Mystic in one of the dressing rooms, looking at herself in the mirror, and then at what she’s currently wearing. Mystic takes the hair tie that was holding her ponytail up and pulls it out, throwing it frustratingly at the back wall of the room. Luna meeps inquisitively.)

Mystic: I know I’m doing well, but I don’t think I can defeat that guy! What was it Shaduck said…

(A thought bubble pops up and Shaduck is in it.)

Thought Bubble Shaduck: And those who start their quests, must finish them!

Mystic: But how? How do I defeat Cubie?!

Thought Bubble Shaduck: This is just your memory. I cannot provide you any new information.

(The thought bubble goes away. Mystic sighs, but then confidently stiffens.)

Mystic: Even if I do down, I’m going to try! I hate to say it, but Shaduck’s right! I will finish this! One way, or ANOTHER!

(She and Luna cheer.)

Mystic: Now go get my hair tie.

(Luna grumbles and walks offscreen. Cuts to the rink, where the spotlight shines on both competitors. They both skate in similar formations before doing different tricks. Mystic, not allowing herself to give up, skates better and better. Cubie watches in anger. The duo crisscross to either side of the rink, but during the last cross, Cubie uses his skate and rams it into Mystic’s leg. She screams.)

Candle Man and Limefong: MYSTIC!

Baghead: (To the judges.) Cubie cheated! Disqualify him!

C0F-3: This is about skill, Baghead, not eligibility!

(Mystic, however, does not go down. Instead, she painfully continues, but Cubie pulls ahead. They execute their ending skate sequence perfectly, and the judges give them both perfect nines.)

Candle Man: A tie?!

Jackie: Time for the ultimate skate-off! You will each perform a very hard trick! Whoever does their trick the best wins!

(They go to the back of the rink as C0F-3 plays dramatic music. They skate a little bit, then start their trick. Cubie starts early, doing a trick that begins with his doing a quintuple twirl, then leaping through the air while dancing.)

Mystic: (To herself.) Let’s see if Shaduck’s skates work their magic.

(She sticks her skates’ knives into the ice, propelling ice bits through the air behind her. She does a twirl and somersaults, getting back on her skates immediately. However, Cubie’s trick is much flashier and makes him look like the winner.)

Cubie: Haha!

Mystic: (To herself.) Got one more trick up my sleeve!

(She does a flashy trick… literally. She uses a bit of magic to make the sun come out, then she twirls. The glitter on her dress catches the light, producing several rays of light to colorfully shine all over the place. The crowd marvels at this. Finally, the light blue spot on her dress shines a large ray… right into Cubie’s eyes.)

Cubie: AHH!

(He falls from midair and smashes into many pieces. Mystic skates up to the judges, who give her a perfect ten. Everyone cheers.)

C0F-3: MYSTIC STAR WINS!

(The pieces of Cubie sulk off the ice. Mr. Deen presents Mystic the grilled cheese maker. She blows kisses as she skates off the ice, Candle Man, Shaduck and Limefong following her until Candle Man gives her a hug.)

Candle Man: You did it!

Limefong: And all of that for a grilled cheese maker.

Mystic: You know it!

Shaduck: GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES FOR EVERYONE!

(They cheer. Cubie rebuilds himself and goes to the concessions stand.)

Cubie: Space, give me my consolation me-

(Space punches Cubie and he goes down, breaking apart yet again.)

Space: I’ve always wanted to do that.

(Jackie, Mr. Deen, and C0F-3 skate to the center of the rink and grab microphones.)

Jackie: Attention, everyone!

Mr. Deen: Our next competition is starting soon!

C0F-3: And the prize will be a grape soda maker!

(A dash of light goes across the screen, and when it is gone, Mystic is on the ground and her skates are missing. Baghead is seen on the ice with the skates on.)

Baghead: Catch you guys later!

(The Candle Friends walk through the doors of the rink.)

Shaduck: That was… fun.

Candle Man: And it seems like Mystic has learned something.

Mystic: I can’t wait for you guys to use the grilled cheese maker to make me some!

(Everyone sighs.)

Candle Man: I guess not.

(They walk into the horizon away from the camera. Luna scrambles towards the group from behind them.)

Luna: GUYS! MYSTIC! I HAVE YOUR HAIR TIE! WAIT FOR MEEEE!!!

(Episode ends.)