BSCMC 019: Kristy and the Missing Fortune

The episode for "Wa-BSCMC 019 - Kristy and the Missing Fortune" was originally released on 7/8/2019 and is BSCMC #19. **You can listen to it here.** This episode is 1:12:17 long.This week's ghostwriter: Ellen Miles.

*Previous:* BSCMC 018: Stacey and the Mystery at the Empty House | *Next:* BSCMC 020: Mary Anne and the Zoo Mystery | *Or,* see all episodes.

## Official Episode Description

It’s an Evil Episode this week, folks. Everything that should be right-side-up is upside down. Everything that should be clockwise is widdershins, and everything that should be “hoorah!” is just “Wa.” What does that mean for you? Well, for one thing the (Evil) boys talk about sports. A lot. And Bib Fortuna. And there’s an ancient evil lurking deep in Stoneybrook’s past that is reaching out its tendrils through the clocks to collapse time and space and swallow the BSC in the nameless void. So, not all that different from a non-evil episode, but please do be very careful with this one.

## Music Credits

* “Gothic Choir,” by Allen Grey
* “The Big Adventure,” by The Story Shop
* “Gothica,” by Allen Grey
* “You Gotta Have Theremin and Ukulele,” by Squidlord
* “Sports Drums,” by Stockwaves
* “Mystery in the Forest,” by Phil Larson
* “Chopstick Slapstick,” by OurMusicBox
* “Creepy and Mysterious Night,” by Luca Francini
* Original Intro by Scott Lamb
* Outro by Bye Bye Empire

## Book Description

Jack's description got a 40% on Rotten Tomatoes. Tanner does a good job describing the book and there's a cool sound effect over Jack's speech here.

## Segments

###  American Sports

Tanner's extended description in Guessing the Mystery is really an American Sports segment. There's an audio drop of the play Tanner's describing, which is quite impressive.

See also this week's Trackin' Jackie.

###  Guessing the Mystery

Tanner and Jack both guess the mystery and it's a lot of American Sports.

###  Jack and Tanner, Fashion Idiots

Kristy's insecurities include fashion.

Stacey is wearing many things: platform shoes with really high cork soles, black lacy legging "things", a blue dress that looked kind of like pajamas I used to have when I was seven, babydolls. Jack and Tanner agree that they know what pajamas are, otherwise are confused. "Pants for a monopod", Scrooge McDickens pajamas, tadpoles, and bulletin boards.

Then some discussion about thermal leggings and thermal detonators (Star Wars)(Boushh).

###  Strike Against the Patriarchy

To build a mausoleum all around.
This shriveled thing that's reached its natural end
And lower it at last into the ground.
So strike the match
And join me as we sing
A glad goodbye to all of history's men
Let's warm our hands upon this funeral pyre
And think on all the joys that life will bring
And all the light we'll share together when
We put the patriarchy to the fire.
Inspired by Keats' "Ode to Melancholy"

"I read banned books" on Mal's button.

###  Tanner Googles

"Silent Library" the early 2000s MTV game show

###  Trackin' Jackie

Into that good night
No age nor place nor time nor day
Shall contain his eternal light
though timeless as the ancient worrisome white
because time with the boy no longer stays
non che tempo katholou kronos Noe tiempo reine zeit
Good Jackie thy last wave by crying in fright
Thy frail life might have been in a doorway
Back we must go
Into the dying of the light

(Based on a poem by Dylan Thomas)

Disclaimer: "If you're not a fan of basketball and didn't watch the 2019 championship, this is gonna be a little lost on you."

The blip is a basketball game: Toronto Raptors vs the Golden state Warriors. Lots o' audio clips based around losing a tooth.

###  What is Your (Blank) Name

What's your evil name? Add "Wa-" to the beginning of your name.

What is your candy bar name? Tanner is Tangy Blinkens, Jack is Juicy Blinkens.

## Theories

###  Factions

Skeletons, puppets, vampires (maybe), "plant things"

## Review

*What’s in a name? 🥀 (👈 this rose is just a rose and not affiliated with any political party)
That which we call Baby-Sitters Club Mystery #19, Kristy and the Missing Fortune, by any other name would be as sweet. Much like the rose in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, this book is sweet. Much like Rose, from Titanic, this book is a feast for the senses – like one of Jack’s French girls (Jack from Titanic, not Jack Shepherd, nor Jack Dorsey from Twitter). And much like Rose Tyler, companion to David Tennant’s Doctor Who, this book is timeless, and would have been badly mishandled by Steven Moffat. Although this book is about a missing fortune, it is in no way a MIS-fortune to have read it. I would say that Ellen Miles and Ann M. Martin clearly ROSE to the occasion this time. Whatever you may think of Rian Johnson’s interpretation of the Skywalker saga featuring the character Rose Tico, I think we can all agree that The Last Jedi is at least better than the Star Wars prequels, and this book is better than The Last Jedi. No spoilers, but pay attention to the roses.*

*– Wajack Washepherd and Watanner Wagreenring (P.S. we really loved this one)*

## Jack's References

* Die Hard, including an audio drop
* Synecdoche
* Day of the Triffids
* Karl Lagerfeld

## Tanner's References

* Tanner is in a Silent Library, as referenced in Tanner Googles.
* Mallory is dressed like Wario.
* Randy Moss (an extended 90s Minnesota Vikings discussion that's really American Sports)
* Swamp Thing
* Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka
* Reminders from the Greenring House Alexa that Jamie set that Tanner Gets on His Phone: "take the sweet potatoes out"

## Notes

* Jack's ranked list in ascending order: Kristy, Mallory, Claudia. (Tanner: "what happened to you, man?") Tanner's list: Claudia, Dawn, Kristy.
* Jack forgot how time zones work.
* Is Wa-Bowser good?
* Jack and Tanner have Opinions on Star Wars.
* Devon and Simon Clock, the time masters, the clock masters.
* "Coco Blinkens"
* Is Stonybrook a cabin in the woods simulation?
* Jack brings up the mysterious smells in the library.
* Behind the Pod: Tanner and Jack used both the app Zoom and the physical devices Zoom to record. They make a Zune joke, very topical in 2019.

## References & Links

#### Literature

1. ↑ Keats' "Ode to Melancholy": https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44478/ode-on-melancholy
#### Culture

1. ↑ Boushh: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Boushh
#### Music

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