Episode 13

Dan Allegretto joins the girls to share all the knowledge a gay guy can share.

recapped by Kevin... eventually

previously

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## Episode Summary

### Introduction

* Dylan reveals her topic is “animals who can talk” and this gets Dan so excited he pours himself more wine
* Dylan starts with parrots, and talks about the bird named Lucky that maybe cat-called her
	+ First it’s Alex the Parrot, the one people know about
		- Dan wants to know if he knows anything about dinosaurs
		- Dylan says it’s clear Alex is miserable
	+ Second it’s N’kisi
		- When Dylan says he could conjugate verbs, Broti is pretty skeptical, but Dan and Dylan defend him for trying
		- “Verb is the do”
		- N’kisi called Aromatherapy oils “Pretty Smell Medicine” which Dan is real excited about
		- Pod Favorite Grifter Jane Goodall comes up and it’s clear Dan also has strong opinions about her (“She’s a zookeeper – no offense”)
		- Everyone agrees he flew too close to the sun
	+ • Dylan then talks about some talking dogs but never mentions the button-pressing dog from previous episodes
		- Dan mentions a husky that got so mad it said “I love you” once which leads to Niko time
		- Broti has a great series of Niko impressions
		- Dylan mentions Don the talking dog but fails to mention that he was once on the same bill as pod-favorite Harry Houdini
		- After Dan asks, Dylan just reveals her source is Wikipedia, but Broti says it is “the last surviving Geosites”
	+ The talking cat really gets a quick summary, especially considering it inspired Cartman from South Park
	+ Dylan is not impressed by talking apes
	+ Dan does not buy the idea of a talking elephant since they have that trumpet/horn mouth we are all familiar with
	+ A talking whale that confused Navy divers also confuses Dan
	+ The list is getting a bit boring by the time Dylan gets to the “Others” heading
	+ Dan does not think about mongeese(?) a lot but imagines that there is somehow evil magic involved
	+ Broti thinks a video of her saying, “what what what” would not be very popular
	+ Dylan clearly has been holding Hoover the Seal in her back pocket and is super excited to talk about him
		- Dylan follows up the mention of the name “George Swallow” with a quick “Be adults” and I have to admit this is my favorite Dylan moment in the episode
		- Dylan suggests leaving an abandoned baby seal alone
		- Dan suggests calling the baby seal “Sucklord” after one of his heroes
		- Dan refuses to believe the seal rode around in the car, and accuses of Dylan making a bunch of stuff up on Wikipedia (but then says it is from Jane Goodall breaking into Broti’s house and using Big Computer)
		- Dan then reveals that the three of them text about animals every single day
		- Dylan’s description of the seal being able to talk, then it being transferred to the aquarium is a great Dylan story-telling section, followed up by her reveal that there is a recording of it talking, I need to say that this is really fun Lecture Hall stuff, which is a giant relief after the absolute nightmare of the Jeremy/Rajat episode
		- The quality of the seal talking is quite bad, but its saved by Dan talking about John Candy
		- Dylan almost gets away with mentioning the seal’s children names without Broti and Dan both losing their minds about it
		- When Dylan tries to talk about Hoover’s grandson Chucky she laughs at herself which Dan calls out, again this is a great portion of the show and if you don’t like this I don’t know what to tell you. Dylan should have just done Hoover the Seal since it clearly tickles her a lot more than talking about parrots and mongeese
		- Dylan ends with the mention of an obituary but doesn’t read it, which Broti is quite upset to learn
	+ Dylan wraps up her lecture with a “thank you so much for listening” and Broti doesn’t believe any of it, and accuses Dylan of making the Hoover recording
	+ Dan is ready to go, but since his is brief he gives a nice recap of his possible topics
		- Tornados – “it’s like hot air and cold air” (D&B are not familiar)
		- General Tso’s Chicken – “why is it so goopy sometimes?” Broti guesses it is from San Francisco
		- Popcorn in a movie theater – “corn is very Native American and movies are very American”
		- Gia Carangi – “her life seemed fascinating” (D&B have no comment)
		- The Guinness Book of World Records – “probably [Dylan & Broti] in another lifetime” – this leads to an important reveal that they both have been to the Ripley’s Believe It or Not in Gatlinburg, Tennessee and Dan says Ripley’s is MADtv and Guinness is SNL
		- Abby Lee Miller – “that’s like a 3 parter epsiode” (Broti suggests everyone takes a different section)
		- Lobster or Maybe Octopus Because They’re Both Seemingly Intelligent Creates That We Eat
		- How The Fuck Do They Make Movies on the Computer (Avatar, Soul, etc) – “they have some Big Computers!”