Lesson one: do not hide

> *for the life of me i cannot remember
> what made us think that we were wise
> and we'd never compromise*
>
>

***lesson one: do not hide*** is the first of two mixtapes created for Sadie Hawthorne. It was released on March 27, 2017 on 8track. This playlist tells of her relationship with Lizzie and the beginning of her journey to becoming a better person after the events of *The Apartment on 3rd Street*.

The second mixtape for Sadie is ***starlight***, released on August 2, 2017.

## Track listing

1. "Clean Breaks" - Dashboard Confessional - *The Shade of Poison Trees* (2007) - 2:58
2. The Freshmen - Boyce Avenue - *Acoustic Sessions, Vol. 4* (2009) - 4:05
3. "Wicked Blood" - Sea Wolf - *White Water, White Bloom* (2009) - 4:25
4. "Where Is the Line" - The Majority Says - *The Majority Says* (2014) - 4:04
5. "Talk" - Kodaline - *In a Perfect World* (2013) - 4:28
6. "Boys (Lesson One)" - Jars of Clay - *The Long Fall Back to Earth* (2009) - 4:00
7. "Swans" - Unkle Bob - *Sugar and Spite* (2006) - 2:30
8. "The Wind" - Cat Stevens - *Teaser and the Firecat* (1971) - 1:42

## Lyrics & Meta

```
I believe in clean breaks
I keep the old troubles away
But you're making sure
I was lying when I said

I can't leave this behind
I need you to ruin me
For this finally
'Cause it's bearing me

Now I'm in these old knots
Each move keeps me locked away
With each new embrace
I've tied myself up more tightly into you

Oh, but the more I fight
And the deeper I'm trapped
And I can't break free
Of this hold that you have

And I crave you more
Under the heat of your touch
And I need your skin to ruin me

For this wicked town
Where your ghosts are bound to me
One last sacrifice for this ritual

Stay
(I believe)
In this ritual
(In clean breaks)
I was lying when I said

(I believe)
In this ritual
(In clean breaks)
I was lying when I said

(I believe in)
In this ritual
(In clean breaks)
I was lying when I said
I believe in clean breaks

```

```
When I was young I knew everything
She a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt stricken, sobbing with my head on the floor
Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these
Sins
We were merely freshmen

My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her
His girl took a week's worth of valium and slept
Now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really wept he says

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these
Sins
We were merely freshmen

We've tried to wash our hands of all of this
We never talk of our lacking relationships
And how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our heads on the
Floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say

I can't be held responsible
'Cause she was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these
Sins
We were merely freshmen

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these
Sins
We were merely freshmen
We were merely freshmen
We were only freshmen

```
 "Wicked Blood" - Sea Wolf

```
We met in the east
Poured in like a flood
You're the whispering kind
Dark sapphire blood
You're a vision of veils
All shimmery white
Like a backdrop of sails
All aglow from the light
Of the wonder behind
At a starry night

In the mountain's song
In the blue jay's call
My heartbeat flows
In crystal water falls
You were so beautiful
In your elegant bed
You'd have my blues
For your Nantucket reds
I'd wait in the dark
Balanced on a thread
So I'd wait in the dark
Balanced on this thread

And under the church-light
You stand there
With your wicked blood and your curls
Yeah, under the church-light
You stand there
In your fur and your pearls
These lines were here
Long before we came around
Yeah, these lines were here
And there's an ember in the rafters
And it's going to bring this whole thing down

In the neon mist
I heard you breathe
An exquisite sound
Some secret symphony
Your silken skin
My fingers rough
In the midnight dim
We went home and touched
Beneath the chandeliers
And your Persian's dust
Beneath your chandeliers
And your Persian's dust

And under the church-light
You stand there
With your wicked blood and your curls
Yeah, under the church-light
You stand there
In your fur and your pearls
These lines were here
Long before we came around
Yeah, these lines were here
And there's an ember in the rafters
And it's going to bring this whole thing down

```
 "Where Is the Line" - The Majority Says

```
Oh these nights, late nights of talking, talking about what we are
All these nights, late nights of crying, crying in your arms

Tell me where's the end
Tell me where's the end

Where is the line between live or just pretend
Wasting our time over and over again
Where is the line between love and simple friends

Ever since the summer I've been waiting for you to say
Love like this is meant to be broken, broken is not our way

Tell me where's the end
Tell me where's the end

Where is the line between live or just pretend
Wasting our time over and over again
Where is the line between love and simple friends
There's no need to fall apart oh my dear, oh my heart

Tell me where's the end
Tell me where's the end

Where is the line between live or pretend
Wasting our time over and over again
Where is the line between live or just pretend
Wasting our time over and over again
Where is the line between love and simple friends

```
 "Talk" - Kodaline

```
[Verse 1]
I can remember the good old days
Where you and me we used to hide away
Where the stars were shining or the sun was blinding our eyes
Yeah you filled up my glass
With promises that could never last
But I still find pieces of you in the back of my mind

And all of the things that we once said
They're not in my heart they're in my head
That was the time to say goodbye
Let's put it to rest, yeah, let it die…

[Chorus]
'Cuz we don't, we don't need to talk about this now
Yeah we've been down that road before
That was then and this is now
The crowds in my heart they've been calling out your name
Now it just don't feel the same
Guess it's over, yeah, we're done

[Verse 2]
I heard you made your way downtown
To the place I'd been hanging around
I was looking for your face in the crowd but trying to keep my head down
Over time our wires crossed
When you changed and the truth got lost
All the things I would change if we could only rewind

You were a moment in life that comes and goes
A riddle, a rhyme that no one knows
A change of the heart, a twist of faith
Couldn't fix it, it's too late

[Chorus]

[Outro]
Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh x6

We don't we don't need to talk about this now x4

```

```
Lesson one - do not hide
Lesson two - there are right ways to fight
And if you have questions
We can talk through the night

{**So you know who you are**
And you know what you want
I’ve been where you’re going
And it’s not that far
It’s too far to walk
But you don’t have to run
You’ll get there in time**}**

Lesson three - you’re not alone
Not since I saw you start breathing on your own
You can leave, you can run, this will still be your home

So you know who you are
And you know what you want
I’ve been where you’re going
And it’s not that far
It’s too far to walk
But you don’t have to run
You’ll get there in time
Get there in time

In time, to wonder where the days have gone
In time, to be old enough to wish that you were young
When good things are unraveling, bad things come undone
You weather love and lose your innocence

There will be liars, and thieves who take from you
Not to undermine the consequence
But you are not what you do
When you need it most
I have a hundred reasons why I love you

So you know who you are
And you know what you want
I’ve been where you’re going
And it’s not that far
It’s too far to walk
But you don’t have to run
You’ll get there in time

So you know who you are
And you know what you want
I’ve been where you’re going
And it’s not that far
It’s too far to walk
But you don’t have to run
You’ll get there in time
Get there in time

If you weather love and lose your innocence
Just remember - lesson one

```
which also applies to [the bolded] verse, but also the journey to becoming a person she can be proud of being
 "Swans" - Unkle Bob

```
​​​​​​​By my side you'll never be
By my side you'll never be
Cause I'm fake at the seams
Lost in my dreams
And I want you to know
That I can't let you go
And you're never comin' home again
And you're never comin' home again
By my side you'll never be
By my side you'll never be
You'll never be
**{I wanted to tell you I changed**
I wanted to tell you that things would be different this time
I see you, you see me differently}
I see you, you see me differently
You tell me that you love me but you never wanna see me again
You tell me that you love me but you never wanna see me again
You tell me that you love me but you never wanna see me again
You tell me that you love me but you never wanna see me again

```

```
​​​​​​​I listen to the wind
To the wind of my soul
Where I’ll end up well I think
Only God really knows
I’ve sat upon the setting sun
But never, never never never
I never wanted water once
No, never, never, never

I listen to my words but
They fall far below
I let my music take me where
My heart wants to go
I swam upon the devil’s lake
But never, never never never
I’ll never make the same mistake
No, never, never, never

```