Ransoming Dad

"**Ransoming Dad**" (French: "Cherchez Pa") is the first episode of season one of *The Crumpets*.

## Synopsis

Granny doesn't have enough money to go on a poker cruise, so she persuades Lil' One to join her scheme to kidnap and hide Pa so they can force their family to pay a ransom to "save" Pa.

## Plot

At 3 AM in the morning, Granny wins a poker cruise trip at her laptop. She packs her suitcase but realizes that she lacks cash. She calls her driving rich son Uncle Hurry for an arrangement to give her cash, but he refuses due to his financial difficulties; not even can she give him five percent of her winnings. She brainstorms easy ways to make money at the options of being a babysitter, escort girl, hitman, weapons dealer or drug dealer.

Granny eventually discovers an idea that calls for her motorcycle mask from Lil One's wardrobe. As she opens it, a huge amount of clutter crashes her but it doesn't wake Lil One. She finds and uses a nappy instead as a mask. She accidentally steps on a skateboard, slips to the air, and falls and hold on to Lil One's crib. Trying to get out, she unintentionally farts and wakes Lil One, who accuses her of sleepwalking and spying. Granny claims she was getting exercise until saying she didn't really do it. She pulls out from her breast the poker cruise pass to Lil One and considers having him and Ma on this trip. Lil One becomes skeptical due to Ma's disinterest in money, but Granny's argument that this ship is a "love boat" makes him reconsider other than the fact Pa may object this plan. Granny proposes to get rid of her son and also obtain the money. Lil One finds this "shady" and thinks he is dreaming, but as Granny pinches him as requested, Lil One is now into the scheme as Granny picks up sellotape, the skateboard, and a book. The nappy-faced duo sneak to the Do Not Disturb room to substitute Pa with T-Bone in the bed, the dog licking at an unknowing Ma, and the duo push Pa strapped on the skateboard down the flight of stairs before he bumps at a pillar and faints. Granny inserts the forged ransom letter to the dropbox on the pillar, then she and Lil One push Pa who gets to wake up, immediately before they cover him with a rug.

At breakfast time, Caprice holds the forged ransom letter and alerts the family of Pa's kidnapping. Everyone except Pfff instantly leave the table once Caprice displays the letter's contents, and she can be seen standing on the rug-covered Pa. Granny comes up to Caprice as if she's worried of Pa's disappearance, her windup key hitting Pa below that he grunts (but not noticed by Caprice). Lil One also "finds" Pa's absence "totally crazy" and kicks Pa.

Ma reads the ransom letter on her bed prior to Caprice rapping on its poetic message. The teary-eyed Ma wants to proceed to pay the ransom to have Pa return while Lil One tells her and he wants to be with her to the cruise trip, and Ma's crying persists. Caprice tells her baby brother that he wants their mother all for himself, insists that Pa has to be found, and calls for a family meeting.

In the hall, Caprice speaks in front of the family to call authorities like Scotland Yard or the cops, or 999. Granny jumps forward and objects having the cops in the house, and Lil One agrees with her. Granny wields her chainsaw to "search" for any kidnapper, cutting Pa's hatstand and then the Crumpet house. Back at the family meeting, Lil One plucks the flower petals from Pa's father, then Granny asks them to hand over money. As Lil One offers to pass the hat, Caprice vows to go after the kidnappers, and she and the other family members depart to search the house. Pfff stays behind from the family and exits the stand, and lifts the edge of the rug, but he doesn't pull it.

At the next meeting, the only clue discovered is a piece of dirty underwear. Caprice and the family have not found progress in their search, and Granny repeats her opposition of bringing in the police, demanding the children their money for the ransom. Granny and Lil One come up with very little money and want Ma to help. Granny calls Hurry again for the money, who refuses this time due to having to fund for his brother. Ma lays on Pa and remains sad over his "disappearance", with Granny and Lil One playing violins beside her.

Ma is seen with a walker and Granny complains that she didn't counterfeit money despite having the means to. This infuriates Ma, who finds this solution a "sacrilege". Once Ma cries away, Granny continues to see this idea and holds the windup key to shield from the walker Ma threw. Ultimately at her reluctance, Ma creates and operates a counterfeit money machine besides Granny and Lil One. The kids led by Caprice catches them, and Capice warns that everything said can and will be held against them. Lil One responds that Caprice can't arrest them, although Granny forces him to remain silent. Granny asks Caprice on any charges, and the latter presents the fairytale book whose alphabetical characters were cut and pasted to the ransom letter, and assumes that it belongs to Lil One. Despite Ma criticizing Caprice for a lack of evidence, the latter blames Lil One, who cries loud that he's not the suspect. Flooding the room with his tears, Ma forces Lil One to her tummy hatch. The flood waters rise to a source of visible electricity, zapping everyone until Ma turns a lever. Pulling out Lil One, Ma decides to have the other family members "fess up".

Ma forces the family to be tested with her lie detecting machine, many of her children excited to be its subjects, although Pfff is worried of pain (and later on gives no signal to the machine). Lil One, Granny, and Caprice become the last ones yet to be tested by the lie detector. As the three go to a heated argument, Ma desires them to settle with the lie detector, and Caprice gets tested and passes the lie detector. Lil One refuses his own test, leading to Ma forcing her baby son to do it. Lil One tries to get off from the machine, and suspiciously, Granny attempts to unplug the machine's power cord. The lie detector alarms at Lil One failing his test, and Ma catches Granny for messing the power cord. Ma pulls and forces Granny to the lie detector, the latter becoming more restrained and shouting slang in order to get excused from Ma. While Ma lays on the rug-covered Pa in frustration, Caprice discovers that Granny is a liar, and Ma removes the upside-down, self "knocked-out" Granny from the machine, thinking she killed her. The poker cruise pass drops from Granny, and Lil One snatches it. Upon Caprice catching and holding his nappy, Lil One's feet drags the rug and uncovers the strangled Pa.

After reuniting with Pa, Ma produces more counterfeit money for the poker cruise with her husband. She looks forward for Pa to heal from his kidnapping and Granny and Lil One to be "serving time and scrubbing the floors" in the house. All the other Crumpet kids bid farewell to their parents and do their house routines. Lil One and Granny stand outside disappointed.