Grand Theft Gamers/Transcript

(Episode starts with Shaduck and Limefong lazing out and sitting on the couch playing The Grand Theft)

Limefong: This game is amazing! Let’s play 1v1!

Shaduck: I’ll win this time, Lime, you’ll see!

Limefong: No, I will. I have experience in this game and you’re still a noob.

Shaduck: Yeah, yeah. You’ll see when I overtake you.

Limefong: Let’s just start the game.

(They click on the start button to play the game.)

Limefong: Haha! I am level 54 and you’re level 10.

Shaduck: Level doesn’t matter.

Limefong: Oh, it does.

(10 minutes later, Shaduck loses the first round)

Shaduck: WHAT THE-

Limefong: See, you noob? Told ya.

Shaduck: But the levels still don’t matter.

Limefong: It does matter, grow a brain.

Shaduck: This round was just by luck, but I WILL ACTUALLY win the next round.

(The next round starts)

Shaduck: Your health is pretty low…

(Shaduck slaps Limefong while playing)

Shaduck: YAYAYA!

Limefong: At least I don’t cheat.

(Candle Man and Mystic go downstairs to the room)

Mystic: Uh, you guys seem to be distracted by this game.

Shaduck: So what?

Candle Man: You guys are refusing to do other activities because of this!

Shaduck: Come on, we’ve only been doing this for a few minutes!

(Looks at a pile of dirty dishes)

Shaduck: Uh, you were supposed to do the dishes, Lime!

Limefong: Me? Look at the chart! (pulls out a chart that says who does the dishes and when)

Shaduck: But-but I’m winning the game!

Limefong: No you’re not!

Shaduck: I’ll do it after I win, okay?

Limefong: No, now!

Shaduck: Maybe Candle Man and Mystic can do it.

Limefong: It says you should do the dishes, shaking my head.

Candle Man, Mystic, Shaduck: What?

Limefong: Shaking my head, ya’know?

Mystic: I think you mean “smh”....

Limefong: Whatever.

(Limefong wins.)

Limefong: YAHOO!

Shaduck: I don’t like this game anymore.

(Limefong gets a notification on his phone)

Limefong: Hm? What’s this?

Candle Man: It looks like an email for TGT players above level 50.

Limefong: (Reads) To all TGT players, come down to the Wikia Arcade where we are hosting a competition FOR THE BEST TGT PLAYER!? I’M IN!

(Limefong runs outside)

Shaduck: I’m coming too, hehe.

(Shaduck follows him)

Candle Man: Alright, bye then! Wait a minute, AW COME ON! Guess we better get started Mystic. (pulls out a sponge and squeezes it)

Mystic: Yeah, no thanks…I’m good

(Mystic runs to her room)

Candle Man: Ugh. Well, guess I’m on my own, this’ll be tiring...

(Cue theme song and the scene then cuts to Candle Man, still doing the dishes)

Candle Man: Yep, it was tiring..

(Cuts to Limefong and Shaduck)

Limefong: I’M EXCITED FOR THIS COMPETITION!

Shaduck: Same ‘ere! Though I mainly just tagged along to avoid doing the dishes, I’m still certain you’re gonna win. Even if I always beat you…

Limefong: You never beat me!

(Shaduck whistles and they both notice the long line in front of the Wikia Arcade)

Shaduck: Yeesh, I guess a lot of people want to be the best TGT player…

Limefong: Makes sense, it’s a great game! This is definitely gonna be huge!

Shaduck: Yep.

(1 hour later)

Shaduck: OH, COME ON! WHAT AN ENDLESS LINE!

Limefong: I am keeping my patience. You should, too!

(Cuts to Candle Man)

Candle Man: It is all Shaduck’s fault. Ugh… I’M NOT DOING THE DISHES EVER AGAIN, AND NO ONE CAN EVER FORCE ME TO!

(Candle Man takes a rest by going to his bedroom)

Candle Man: Time to take a rest from that stupid work.

(Cuts back to Limefong and Shaduck)

Shaduck: Will this line EVER end?

Limefong: Just be patient. We are not the only The Grand Theft fans.

Shaduck: I have waited for two hours already! I could have cleaned the dishes!

Limefong: Jeah, but you were too lazy.

Shaduck: To be honest, I came here just so I wouldn’t clean the dishes…

(The duo come close to the entrance of the Wikia Arcade. A man named Agen Chupaka stands beside the entrance.)

Limefong: Finally, it is our time to enter!

Agen: Not so fast!

(A young teen named Agen blocks their way.)

Shaduck: Hey!

Agen: What are your qualifications, duck dog?

Shaduck: Duck dog?

Agen: Never mind. Anyway, let me look you two up on this TGT leaderboard.

(Agen looks at a device that the leaderboard is on. He sees Limefong is at level 54)

Agen: Who is Limefong?

Limefong: Me.

Agen: Alright, then, but who is this?

(He again looks at the device, this time seeing Shaduck’s humiliating level. Agen laughs.)

Agen: You?! A tenner?! Trying this tournament?! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Shaduck: Looks like I won’t be able to get in-

(Limefong steps in front of Shaduck, looking Agen straight in the eyes.)

Limefong: He is my plus one.

Shaduck: Yeah! Wait what?

Agen: I suppose I can let this tenner in, but let me talk you through how it works: you two will go into a room where you must prove yourself against the regular game, not 1v1 or 2v2. If you do well enough, you move on to the tournament. Got it?

Shaduck: Yup!

Agen: Good luck, tenner. You’ll need it.

(Limefong and Shaduck enter the wiki arcade)

Shaduck: We won’t have to wait more….(looks at a ton of people who came before Limefong and Shaduck)... AAHHHHHH, NEVERMIND!

(Cuts back to Candle Man and Mystic)

Candle Man: Hey, Mystic!

(Mystic comes from her bedroom)

Mystic: What?

Candle Man: I swear I will never clean the dishes ever again.

Mystic: Who will do it, then?

Candle Man: Why don’t you do it for a change?

Mystic: Sorry, but… I… am.. a bit busy, you know?

Candle Man: No, you’re not. Don’t lie to me, because you were not doing anything.

Mystic: I am not gonna do it. I rather keep my regal status clean and not get it messy.

Candle Man: Maybe they both will, when they come back. What do you think they’re doing right now?

(Cuts to Shaduck and Limefong)

Shaduck: Gosh, this is crowded!

Limefong: What do you expect? This is a bestselling game!

Shaduck: True. (One beat of silence.) When do we get to play?

Limefong: The wait time is…

(He spots a sign that says…)

Shaduck and Limefong: AN HOUR?!

(Scene cuts back to Candle Man and Mystic)

Mystic: Nah, beat your laziness. Do it yourself!

Candle Man: No! I’d rather not! This is tiring! Besides, “laziness”? YOU AREN’T EVEN DOING ANYTHING EITHER!

Mystic: It doesn’t matter if you’d rather not! I can’t get dirty!

Candle Man: Why? Will you die if you get dirty?

Mystic: No, but a planet will explode in a fiery ball of flames before melting off the face of the universe!

(This surprises Candle Man, shown by his wide eyes.)

Candle Man: I don’t know whether to believe you.

Mystic: WELL I’M NOT DOING IT!

Candle Man: ME NEITHER!

(They both growl at each other. Back to Shaduck and Limefong, who are finally in the room with the game. The room is in the back of the arcade. There is no decoration on the wall entering the room; only a door next to a large window that is as wide as the rest of the wall. Inside there are four bean bag chairs, two orange and two lime green, an XCube console, and a large flatscreen TV monitor hanging on the wall.)

Shaduck: Finally!

Limefong: Wait, why are there four bean bag chairs?

Shaduck: I suppose when we’re going against two people.

Limefong: Very well. Let’s get back to the game.

(The monitor turns on. Shaduck and Limefong take their controllers as the game starts.)

Voice on Monitor: Ready?

Shaduck and Limefong: Yes!

Voice on Monitor: Set?

Limefong: Yes!

Shaduck: Wait, no!

Voice on Monitor: GO!

Shaduck: WAAAAAAAAAGH! I’M NOT READY FOR THIS!

(The characters Lime and Shaduck play as they run towards their first objective as the timer starts. Lime breaks into a pet store and steals the ultra dog, which helps in the crimes. Shaduck goes to the gun store, then proceeds to enter the bank. They continue doing bad things, stealing cars and robbing museums and stuff, until five minutes pass and the characters return to the starting point. Shaduck’s score is 78,781, and Lime’s is 99,317.)

Voice on Monitor: Well done! You may now leave.

(They leave the room as two more people enter. They now sit outside, ice cream in hand.)

Limefong: I wonder how long it’ll take before the list of participants is out.

Agen (over loudspeaker): ATTENTION, GRAND THEFT GAMERS! THE LIST OF PARTICIPANTS IS OUT!

Shaduck: That was quick. Especially for a competition that had a line longer than two blocks!

(They walk over and peer at the list of 64 duos.)

Limefong: I made it!

Shaduck: Me too!

Limefong and Shaduck: Yay!

Person offscreen: Hey, wimps.

(They look over and see a girl with short brown hair and a guy with spiky hair. The girl is chewing gum, shown when she blows a bubble that pops.)

Limefong: And who are you two supposed to be?

Girl: The name’s Zoe, and that’s Zim. We’re competing in this little contest.

Shaduck: Zoe and Zim. Great to meet you two!

Zim: It’s not supposed to be.

Zoe: We’re the best TGT gamers in the whole town!

Limefong: Pfft, I find it hard to believe that!

Zim: We’re defending our title. Haven’t you recognized our faces on the TGT box?

Shaduck: I got my game before two uglies were pasted on the box!

Limefong: Me too! (To Shaduck) What are you doing?!

Shaduck (To Limefong): It’s called trash talk. It’s to show we ain’t weaklings. We’re not gonna take their bullsh-

Zoe: Hey, mumblers! We’re gonna win, and we’re gonna make you cry your eyes out in the process!

Zim: That is, if they don’t lose to another weakling before that.

(They both laugh smugly as they walk away.)

Limefong: Shaduck, make sure we don’t lose.

Shaduck: How do I do that? I mean, I know I always win against you, (Limefong frowns) but not against a whole bunch of smug suckers.

Limefong: First of all, I always win.

Shaduck: Pfft.

Limefong: Secondly, I don’t know how we can ensure we’ll win, but we have to make sure we’ll beat those jerks.

(Scene changes to Shaduck and Limefong’s first match. Agen and other competitors spectate through the large glass window. Next to Limefong and Shaduck is a duo by the names of Jaiku and Thaigee.)

Limefong: Okay, Shaduck. Let’s do this.

(Montage begins. The game starts, but only a second or two go by before the scene cuts to the game being over, with Lime and Shaduck out on top. A classic tournament chart is now on screen. 64 duos shrink to 32 duos. The duck-dog duo are now up against a duo by the names of Intendi and Chorse. The game starts, and then cuts to the end, with Lime and Shaduck again out on top. The classic tournament chart is back on the screen, and the 32 duos shrink to 16. The duck-dog duo are now up against a duo by the names of Sogma and Villykay. The game starts, and then cuts to the end, with Lime and Shaduck again out on top. The classic tournament chart is back on the screen, and the 16 duos shrink to 8. Cuts to Shaduck and Limefong outside during break time.)

Shaduck: You know, Zoe and Zim are playing right now.

Limefong: So?

Shaduck: So, we can see what we’re up against!

Limefong: Good point. Let’s go see.

(They are now spectating through the large window. Zoe and Zim are going up against a duo of gazelles. The game seems to be going okay, and it even seems like the gazelles are winning.)

Shaduck: We might not even have to deal with them!

(But then, Zoe and Zim make eye contact, then click a weird combination on their controllers. Then, their screen lights up for a brief second, and then their score shoots up as they play.)

Limefong: What the…?

Shaduck: They made their score be times ten!

Limefong: How?! That’s not fair!

Zim: Haha!

Zoe: Take this, suckas!

(Then, the time is out. Zim and Zoe win by 60,000 points.)

Shaduck: They cheated! Why doesn’t anybody point that out?

Limefong: There are plenty of cheat codes. The contest holders might just think it’s a regular cheat.

Shaduck: True, but how are we going to beat them, then?

Limefong: ...We study like we’ve never studied before!

Shaduck: -Which I haven’t.

(Limefong looks at Shaduck, who laughs nervously. Back to Candle Man and Mystic, who have been arguing this whole time.)

Candle Man: CAN WE STOP ARGUING FOR A SECOND?!

Mystic: OKAY! Why?

Candle Man: I have an idea: we’ll buy the “ULTIMATE DISHWASHER”!

(He holds up an ad that came out of a magazine.)

Candle Man: It washes the dishes, and we don’t even have to lift a finger. Problem is, it takes a lot of power-

Mystic: Who cares?! Let’s go!

(They run out the door. Cuts back to the TGT tournament room, where Lime and Shaduck’s next competitors sit, their names being Tafoob and Maxu. Lime and Shaduck are absent, however.)

Maxu: Where are those losers?

Tafoob: We can’t stop winning for this long!

(The door opens, and the duck-dog duo walks in. They drop a lot of library books in the middle of the duos’ bean bag chairs.)

Shaduck: See, this is the part where you two lose.

Maxu: Ha, sure.

(Cuts directly to the end of the match, where the duck-dog duo have beaten Tafoob and Maxu by 30,000 points.)

Tafoob: Hey! You cheated!

Shaduck: Nope.

Limefong: Turns out learning about the game can pay off.

Maxu: Hmph.

(The classic tournament chart is back on the screen, and the 8 duos shrink to 4. Cuts to Shaduck and Limefong’s next game, where they are up against two people by the names of Snowel and Waterly.)

Shaduck: Oh, this is going to be easy.

Waterly: How can you tell?

(Cuts directly to the end of the game.)

Shaduck: Because it was.

(They have indeed won the game by 40,000 points.)

Limefong: Alright. (Shouting out the door as Snowel and Waterly leave) BRING ON OUR LAST COMPETITORS!

(Zim and Zoe walk through the door.)

Zoe: It seems like lame duck and dumb dog are better than we thought.

Zim: No matter. They will crash and burn horribly!

Limefong: We’ll see, Zopee and Zimnasium.

Shaduck: Yeah! Wait what?

Limefong: Let’s do this!

(They all sit in their beanbag chairs. Suddenly, Agen, from the other side of the glass, grabs a microphone.)

Agen (through a speaker on Limefong and Shaduck’s side of the glass): WHO’S READY FOR A CHAMPIONSHIP?!

Limefong: Oh, brother.

(Cuts to Candle Man and Mystic, who have bought the Ultra Dishwasher.)

Candle Man: Well, that was worth the money. Now, none of us have to lift a finger when it comes to do with the dishes.

Mystic: Let’s plug it in!

Candle Man: Alright! (Holds up the plug) But it takes a lot of power, so-

(Mystic takes the plug and plugs it into the nearest outlet. Back to the championship.)

Voice on Monitor: Ready?

Everyone: Yes!

Voice on Monitor: Set?

Everyone: Yes!

Voice on Monitor: Go!

Agen (who is saying everything that is happening as the camera shows it simultaneously.): And they’re off! Limefong and Shaduck go directly to the pet shop, and, what’s this? They’re robbing it with a dog bone! But wait, the cashier is leaving, but he’s back, and with him is 200,000 dollars! Limefong and Shaduck take an early lead, 10,000 points to 2,000!

(Zoe and Zim look at each other briefly, then do their secret cheat code.)

Agen: But hold on, here come the Z-duo! They have shot up in points, and are now leading, 30,000 points to 15,000! And they keep rocketing up, and up! They are leading Limefong and Shaduck by 60,000 points! I haven’t seen this since I played against my five year old brother, isn’t that right folks?

Spectators (through speaker): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Back to Candle Man and Mystic. The Ultra-Dishwasher has loaded itself with dirty dishes.)

Mystic: Let’s turn it on, now!

Candle Man: But doesn’t it take a lot of-

(She turns it on, but suddenly, the power goes out in the whole town, shown when the screen cuts to an overhead of the town and all of the power goes out there, too.)

Mystic: Well at least we know it works

(Because it is night, everything goes dark. Scene changes back to the arcade, on Agen’s side of the glass. Limefong and Shaduck look defeated and sad.)

Agen: The five minutes are almost up, and it looks like the Z-duo will-

(All the power goes out there, too.)

Agen: Drat!

Limefong (muffled, through glass.): What’s going on?

(Sounds are heard as Agen gets up in the dark, trips over something, gets up, and makes it to the panel that controls the power. None of this is seen, however. Then, all of the power turns back on.)

Agen: Okay, good. Well, it seems like the game has restarted!

(To Limefong and Shaduck’s side of the glass.)

Limefong: Yes!

Shaduck: That means we have another chance!

Zoe: No matter. We’ll just beat you again!

Voice on Monitor: Ready?

Everyone: Yes!

Voice on Monitor: Set?

Everyone: YES!

Voice on Monitor: Go!

Agen (who is saying everything that is happening as the camera shows it simultaneously.): And they’re off! Limefong and Shaduck go directly to the pet shop, and, again, they’re robbing it with a dog bone! The cashier is leaving, but he’s back, and with him is 200,000 dollars! Limefong and Shaduck take an early lead, 10,000 points to 2,000, again!

(Zoe and Zim look at each other briefly, then do their secret cheat code. But this time, it doesn’t work.)

Zim: What?

Zoe: No! The game must’ve erased the cheat when it was restarted!

Limefong: And now, we’re gonna show you why cheaters never prosper!

Agen: And it looks like the Duck-Dog duo have expanded their lead! What is going on with the Z-duo?

Limefong: Let’s finish this!

Shaduck: Agreed!

Agen: Limefong and Shaduck’s characters run to the gun shop, but instead of grabbing one, they’re cashing all of their points! What are they thinking?! Hold on! The cashier is giving them a golden gun! Now, the characters are running to the archery range, and now...OH MY GOD! THEY’RE SHOOTING THE TARGETS! Few use this skill, and they are among the few! Every shot gives them 100,000 points! Oh, and the time’s almost up…

Zoe: No!

Agen: THE GAME IS OVER! LIMEFONG AND SHADUCK HAVE WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP!

(Everyone goes through the doors and cheers, but Zoe and Zim aren’t done yet.)

Zim: Hey! They cheated!

Agen: I’m sorry, Zim, but that is a skill available to everyone. It’s even in the “List of Non-Cheating skills in TGT” book!

Shaduck: And besides, that cheat you did throughout the tournament was cheating!

Zoe: Yeah, but we got away with it!

Agen: Get these losers out of my sight.

(Everyone kicks Zoe and Zim out while celebrating Shaduck and Limefong’s win. Scene changes to the Candle House, where everyone is on the couch watching TV.)

Shaduck: So, because of that stupid dishwasher, we won!

Candle Man: Great!

Mystic: But now, I want to play TGT!

Candle Man: Me too!

Shaduck: Just a fair warning: You will lose.

Limefong: Buuuuuut Shaduck is still worse than me at this game.

Shaduck: We’ll see.

Voice on TV: Ready?

Everyone: Yes!

Voice on TV: Set?

Everyone: Yes!

Voice on TV: Go!

(They start playing. Episode ends.)