Pack Your Bags

*Chickens come home to roost as our heroes juggle obligations old and new. Backs are stabbed. Deals are made. Loyalty is pledged. The long arm of the law doesn't bend, and destiny (or destruction?) tightens its grip. Meanwhile....the mountaintop awaits.*

Episode 12 of Rude Tales of Magic, where the party returns to Scrum Fabulous after solving his bandit problem.

## Summary

Parting ways with Stirfry's gang, the party rides back to The Soaking Valley on a loaned horse and carriage. Stirfry anxiously holds the head of Stripe to deliver on their end of a deal with Scrum Fabulous and get back Albee's parents. To put his mind at ease, the party coaxes Stirfry into cooking for them. He begins to oblige before noticing a hidden compartment in the carriage. Inside, the party finds magical items specific to their needs (except for Bellow). Cordelia and Bellow speak with their cart's horse and learn that it was left by one of the smaller members of The Bloody Bloody Gentlemen.

The party finishes their deal with Scrum back at his lair. He frees Albee's parents, only for him to reveal that he has made a deal with The Witch Hunters. Joshy, Spilled Milk and his mentor appear and accuse the party of involvement in the Lice King-related carnage in the Soaking Valley Jail, and assert that Cordelia qualifies as an aberration. They are to be taken into custody and tried for their crimes in Capitol City. The party concedes to come along with her to avoid further trouble and the witch hunter proves surprisingly reasonable in turn. Frederick brings up that they escaped from a missing university, and the witch hunter proves to be one of the few people to actually recognize the term. She takes the party to her own carriage, riding with them for several hours until they stop for a bathroom break. Frederick attempts to test the range of Spilled Milk's anti-magic aura and receives a panicked but distorted call from Cheddar via a woodpecker trying to warn them to escape.

As Bellow goes to pee, he finds his urine smelling strangely tropical. He is reminded of better days and good times, absentmindedly wishing that he and his friends could relax somewhere else. They are suddenly transported to a tropical realm full of alcohol, pools, and water slides as Danny Timeshare appears before them. The god of vacations praises Bellow for his outlandishly chill behavior and lifestyle. He offers to make Bellow one of his chosen clerics, granting him powers in exchange for spreading the good word of vacationism and always wearing his puka shell necklace. After some thought, Bellow proudly accepts.

Danny tells them that they must leave his realm, but that he can send them anywhere they wish. Cordelia considers asking to meet another sasquatch, but Albee asks to see Kreedis. The party agrees to her idea and are then teleported back to the physical plane in a wasteland where a high pillar of stone stands before them with dark clouds brewing.

## **Trivia**

* Both deBonesby and Danny Timeshare reference Jimmy Buffet's album "Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes." Producer Taylor Moore was tempted to make this the episode's title, before settling on the non-referential "Pack Your Bags."
* In a deleted scene cut for time, the gang briefly goes hat-shopping in the Soaking Valley.
* In a Rude Talks of Chatting, Branson revealed that, had the party decided to meet another sasquatch, Brennan Lee Mulligan would have played that character instead of Kreedis.

## Link

https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/pack-your-bags