Bill Murphy's Day Off

**Bill Murphy's Day Off** is the fifth episode of season 1.

## Opening Scene

At school, Bill gets revenge on Jimmy by sucker punching him, breaking the birdhouse he just made in shop class. Jimmy challenges him to a fight, which Maureen jumps in on causing Bill to be dubbed a pussy by the entire student body and Jimmy's father who is the school janitor. Bill gets taken to the principal's office and is subsequently suspended from school.

## Plot

When Bill brings his suspension form home, Kevin forges Frank's signature on it so their parents won't find out. Maureen witnesses this and uses it to blackmail Bill into doing her bidding. The next day, Bill hides in the bushes, waiting for Frank and Sue to leave the house. He spends the day watching TV. When he is in his parents room as they both arrive home, hides under the bed to avoid being caught home from school. He witnesses his parents have an intense argument, where Frank refers to Bill as a pussy, hurting Bill's feelings. As they calm down and make up, Bill remains trapped under the bed as they have sex. At dinner that night, a traumatized Bill vomits all over the table when Frank mentions he "had one hell of a workout before supper."

Meanwhile, Kevin gets a C in history. To reward him for his effort in improving his grades, Sue promises him that she and Frank will take him to see Shire of Frodo in concert. She pressures Frank to ask his union friends to help get him tickets during the negotiation meeting he is headed to.

While Bill takes the day off school and Sue is overworked by her boss, Frank's union negotiations fall apart. Unable to get the tickets, he instead asks Vic. Bill, being in his parents room as they both arrive home, hides under their bed to avoid being caught home from school. He witnesses his parents have an intense fight where Frank refers to Bill as a pussy. As they begin to calm down and make up, Bill remains trapped under the bed as they have sex. At dinner, a traumatized Bill vomits all over the table after Frank states that he “had one hell of a workout before supper.”

At the concert that night it is revealed that Shire of Frodo is merely the opening act of Lifted Riffs and are quickly booed off the stage in favor of the latter band. At home, Bill stands up to Maureen's blackmail by pushing her down and shouts that he hates their family before runs off to find Jimmy so he can prove he isn't a pussy. Concerned, Maureen follows him to stop him but Bill is determined to get even. He winds up accidentally lighting up Jimmy's hidden fireworks stash in the woods, starting a massive forest fire.

When the family come home, they spot the fire and Bill asks his father to sign something, while the latter is horrified.

## Quotes

*(Bill enters the room, falls face down onto his bed)*
**Kevin:** What's his problem?
**Maureen:** He got in a fight with Jimmy Fitzsimmons.
**Bill:** *(angry)* And I would've won if you hadn't jumped in!
**Kevin:** You got saved by a girl? Ha! You pussy!
**Bill:** I am sick of everybody calling me a pussy! *(hold up his suspension form, worried)* Now, I gotta tell dad I'm suspended and get him to sign this. He's gonna kill me.
**Kevin:** Wait, you're gonna narc on yourself? Have I taught you nothing? They never check those things. Just forge dad's name and take the day off.
**Bill:** Easy for you to say. You've never been suspended.
**Kevin:** *(smiles)* I've been suspended 37 times. The system is a joke. They suspend me because I'm a piece of shit. Then, they give me a paper, saying I'm said "piece of shit," and I'm supposed to get my parents to sign it? Why the fuck would I do that? I'm a piece of shit! For the life of me, I don't know why they don't just call the house. But, until then...*(grabs the suspension form, signs Frank's signature on it, and returns it to Bill)* here, enjoy your day.

*(Scene: outside the elementary school, Bill and Jimmy are about to fight)*
**Jimmy:** Fucking coward with your sucker punches.
**Mr. Fitzsimmons:** What are you waiting for? Kick his ass, Jimmy!
**Jimmy:** Shut up, dad!
**Phillip:** Get him, Bill. *(Mr. Fitzsimmons sprays Phillip, causing him to gasp)* My... asthma... *(coughs)*

**Sue:** Hey, Frank! Up here.
**Frank:** I need to brush my teeth. I just had to eat a shit sandwich.
**Sue:** Ah, you got the tickets.
**Frank:** Yep! The concert's tonight, by the way. Did you know that?
**Sue:** I guess. What's the big deal?
**Frank:** It's Colt Luger night. This is the big one. It might be the end for Colt.
**Sue:** *(annoyed)* Oh, for God's sake, Frank. It's just a T.V. show.
**Frank:** It may just be a show, but it's the only thing in my life that doesn't disappoint...
**Sue:** Don't start in on me, Frank! I have had a hard enough day as it is.
**Frank:** *(now angry)* Oh, well welcome to the working world, *Miss* Murphy!
**Sue:** Oh, here it comes, here it comes everybody!
**Frank:** Here comes what? Here comes what? What, the truth?
**Sue:** Oh, I knew you wouldn't support me!
**Frank:** I'm getting a hernia supporting you! But this part-time job is out of control! You're not paying enough attention to your family!
**Sue:** Well, at least I'm not screaming at it!
**Frank:** Ah, it's called "having emotions", Susan, alright! Christ, you're ice cold, like those fucking TV dinners we've been eating every night! I haven't had a decent meal in weeks, okay! Today was probably the worst day of my life, we're probably gonna have a strike, which means the whole company goes down at Christmas! And, I had to kiss Vic's ass, that f\*\*king gigolo, to get tickets for our son, who I now have to treat like a f\*\*king dainty snowflake!
**Sue:** You know why we do that. *You* know why.
**Frank:** Oh, God! Are you really going to bring **that** up again? Kevin was only down there for **TWO** minutes!
**Sue:** Two minutes, Frank! At the bottom of a motel swimming pool!
**Frank:** Okay, agreed! Two minutes without oxygen is not ideal, but you gotta understand, toddlers are resilient! Christ, if they lose an arm in the womb, it grows right back!
**Sue:** What the hell are you talking about?
**Frank:** I'm talking about... look! Just because you drown a little bit, it doesn't give you any excuse to be an asshole for the rest of your fucking life!
**Sue:** He's trying! He's really trying! And you wouldn't notice 'cause you're too busy riding him! You never discipline Bill, do you? It's never Bill! It's always Kevin!
**Frank:** Ah, Bill can't... That's because Bill's a little pussy! Christ, he falls apart if you just look at him, alright! He's got no spine! You gotta rub his back during war movies! Gee, I wonder where he got **THAT** from, Susan!
**Sue:** What, you think he gets it from me?
**Frank:** Oh, you coddle him too much and you know it! **YOU KNOW IT!**
**Sue:** I work hard to keep this family happy! I keep everyone, **EVERYONE**, from killing each other!
**Frank:** **WELL TODAY, I WILL ACTUALLY WELCOME IT!**
## Trivia

* **Title Reference:** Bill taking the day off from school due to his recent suspension; the film *Ferris Bueller's Day Off.*
* The premise of the opening (which is based off Frank's life) is explained in this episode: Frank wanted to go to flight school after graduating from high school. This was delayed when he got the draft notice to fight in the Korean War. The plan was derailed completely when Frank met Sue and impregnated her, which led to their marriage and the kids being born.
* In this episode, it is revealed that Kevin nearly drowned at the bottom of a swimming pool for 2 minutes as a toddler, causing brain damage. Sue treats him delicately because of this and attributes this as to why he does so poorly in school, which Frank strongly believes causes Kevin's bad behavior.
* Kevin has been suspended from school 37 times and knows how to forge Frank's signature.
* Jimmy Fitzsimmons creating a wooden boy in his room is just like the concept of Geppetto creating Pinocchio.
* Lifted Riffs are a parody of the hit band Led Zeppelin. Many members and their instruments are similar in appearance. Their song "My Pickle" is a parody of the Led Zeppelin song "The Lemon Song."
* Kevin's favorite band "Shire of Frodo" is a parody of prog rock bands of the seventies, and is an obvious reference to *The Lord of the Rings*.
* Frank and Sue's Argument strongly implies the beginning of the strain in their marriage, which is actually focused on throughout Season 2.
* As of this episode, Bill’s self-esteem is utterly crushed when Frank calls him a coward.
* Vic makes a Jojo's Bizarre Adventure reference when he calls Sue "Suzie Q".

### Errors

* When Bill runs to the house after Susan leaves, his jacket is missing.