The Spiffed Skyrim

> "Many will say my version of Skyrim is broken, full of exploits, glitches, and complete and utter imbalances. **But no!** This is simply the version that Todd Howard wanted and dreamed of."
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## The Spiffed Skyrim

Spiff claims that his Skyrim is Todd's true vision.

### Inhabitants

Benny Big Boi, Howard Todds, Reanu Keeves, Sir Dave, Mr. Steve Human, Susan Smashmouth

The Spiffed Skyrim is a parallel universe which The Spiffing Brit created with the power of Yorkshire Tea Gold.  The Spiffed Skyrim is modeled off the Skyrim plane of the Tod-verse (though it is not in the Tod-verse), and Spiff claims that his Skyrim was in fact the plane which Todd Howard desired and intended to create as a containment system for Reanu Keeves, but in his rush to finish it he was unable to truly fulfill his vision. Todd, he claimed, had fantasized about The Spiffed Skyrim in The Chess Club rather than the Classic Skyrim which he eventually created. However, this is unlikely, as The Cheesy Exploits are even more powerful in Spiff's ream than they are in Todd's very Cheesy Skyrim.

There are three sub-dimensions in The Spiffed Skyrim, and which one a traveler will enter is left completely up to chance. This makes The Spiffed Skyrim very isolated from other Perfectly Balanced Realms. The three are Randomized Skyrim, Skyrim with Guns, and 100 Mod Skyrim.

## Randomized Skyrim

Randomized Skyrim is, of all three sub-dimensions, the least stable. It was Spiff's prototype Skyrim and his first shot at universe-building, and thus it is riddled with "features". The Cheesy Exploits which reside there have meshed deeper into the fabric of reality than in any other place except the Fallout 76 plane of the Tod-verse. In Randomized Skyrim, any bloke can stumble upon ridiculously overpowered items, which means that those in power are almost never in power for long. In addition, sometimes the enchantments on weapons and gear reset, meaning that power is even harder to retain than it already is in this unstable plane of reality. The very items, doors, and landscape are randomized, leading to a very chaotic world indeed. Only one person in Randomized Skyrim has ever gained the notice of The Spiffing Brit, and this person was known as Susan Smashmouth. She was so powerful that Spiff destroyed Randomized Skyrim just to slay her.

### Susan Smashmouth

> "Yes, Susan requires your monetization, Youtuber. *Please allow me to feast on it.*"
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Susan Smashmouth had fought in The Great Youtube Wars of the real world, and had become very powerful (even Immortal) by making a deal with the devil. So powerful was she that in an attempt to save humanity from her demonic powers and appease the Youtube Overlords, Spiff ported her into his Randomized Skyrim. She spawned in as the best friend of Erik the Slayer, and soon she discovered the absolute weirdness of Randomized Skyrim, for every guard was different (one was a shirtless Thalmor, another a Falmer)

but they were all hostile. She wandered for a time, slaying and being slain by various overpowered creatures, until she accidentally killed Erik. Devastated, she decided to head toward the nearest city, Markarth, to try and make more friends.

Markarth was not what Susan hoped it would be, as nearly everyone was hostile to her. In addition, her spectacular weapons had reset and become very weak indeed. After hiding in the Silver Blood Inn for a while, she killed a hostile guard and looted his sword, which absorbs the life force of its victims. Armed with this, Susan was much more confident about being outside, as attacking now healed her. However, her confidence was short-lived, and Spiff had to give her one drop of tea to drink so that she could become immortal for long enough to escape Markarth.

After the Markarth incident, Susan headed toward Whiterun, smashing like and subscribe into her victims' heads as she went. When she got there, she began (as one does) massacring the entire population, and uttered these famous words:

> "Hello there stable-man. I'm afraid' (dramatic pause) "you **no longer need to live**."
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Pleased, Spiff took pity on her plight and made her incredibly fast and invincible so that she could do her solemn duty better. Giddy with power, Susan created ten dragons for her personal fighting force, which would be called Youtube Admins. She used her Youtube Admins to terrorize Whiterun in an event somewhat like what occurred at Queen's Landing. After this, she visited the Jarl, and when he attacked her, she unleashed fire magic upon him and brought her Admins into Dragonsreach. In true Skyrim fashion, the sub-dimension couldn't handle this occurring, and so they fazed in and out of reality, dragging unfortunate souls with them.

At this point, Susan became too powerful to be contained in Randomized Skyrim, so Spiff was forced to destroy his first universe in order to kill her, for there was no other way she could be slain. He claims that she tried to go back to her own planet but died on the way, however this is untrue - she was actually encapsulated in a bubble of Yorkshire Tea to prevent her escape until the destruction of her host world. After this event, Spiff deleted Randomized Skyrim completely, scrapping the idea in favor of Skyrim with Guns and 100 Mod Skyrim.

## Skyrim with Guns

Skyrim with Guns was the first plane of The Spiffed Skyrim to see the creation of some powerful beings indeed. The guns in Skyrim with Guns are bequeathed to lowly mortals only by Spiff himself, so those without Spiff's favor stand almost no chance of pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps.

### Sir Dave

> "Is it child abuse to put a 20 kilogram kettle on someone's head? Potentially, but Sir Dave doesn't ask those questions."
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Sir Dave was the first being ever to gain power in The Spiffed Skyrim. After buying knighthood from Sealand, Spiff was so impressed that he showed Sir Dave the mysterious CYBERDYNE RUINS, the Dwemer arsenal which cannot be found without the intervention of The Spiffing Brit. There, Sir Dave became armed to the teeth with guns, and got "pimped out" a very Spiffing getup.

With his newfound guns, Sir Dave joined the Dark Brotherhood, the legendary assassin guild, and murdered numerous innocent people, including his loyal companion Lydia (though he claims that was an accident). Eventually he decided that he, while still at level 1, was fully capable of defeating the final boss, "Alduin the deadly dragon", so, after Spiff spawned the dragon outside of Whiterun, he did.

### Mr. Steve Human

> "There's enough for all of us if you aren't greedy? But hang on a second, don't you know I'm a **politician**? There's not enough for anyone other than me!"
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Mr. Steve Human is definitely not an alien lizard person disguising as a human being. He aspires to become the first ever democratically elected leader of Skyrim, but nobody believes that he is a human, so they will not vote for him. Therefore, he will murder everyone else in Skyrim so that the only vote left - his - will make him the leader. For this, though, he needs guns. Fortunately, Spiff took notice of Steve's plans and decided to give him guns without the tedious trip to CYBERDYNE RUINS. With them he began his massacre of the people of Skyrim.

He began in Riverwood with the aptly named Kamikaze Chicken Launcher, and after he eradicated the Companions with a cow catapult, he massacred the population of Whiterun with an M14 Assault Rifle. While doing this, he found his one and only friend, Jenassa, who alone showed no reaction to Steve's war crimes and was in fact hired by him for 500 gold. After this, to demonstrate his power to the rest of Skyrim he slayed an Ancient Dragon with his guns. He attempted to do the same with the Ebony Warrior, but he proved too flimsy, while Jenassa could take him out easily.

> "I mean, technically we have committed war crimes which will go down in the history of Skyrim forever, but, you know, it's the friends you make along the way which count."
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## 100 Mod Skyrim

100 Mod Skyrim is the plane of The Spiffed Skyrim which sees the most Immortal action, as it is the most broken. Of the three, a mortal is most likely to achieve Immortality in this sub-dimension. The most notable inhabitants of 100 Mod Skyrim are:

### Benny Big Boi

The first of these was known as Benny Big Boi, who bore massive cheeks and a neck that could stab an enemy ten yards away. Sadly, Benny Big Boi fell victim to the headsman instead of being rescued by Alduin like most players are. Disgusted, Spiff caused Benny to have a heart attack and die.

### Howard Todds

The next being to grace The Spiffed Skyrim was not created by Spiff or by his Skyrim at all, but was the embodiment of Todd Howard himself, who entered Spiff's realm to search for evidence of Reanu Keeves expanding his sphere of influence as well as to explore the spinoff of his greatest creation. This avatar was known as Howard Todds (a name which he chose so that he would not arouse suspicion of his true identity), and his form was that of a luminescent pink Dogmer. After leaving Fort Dawnguard, where he spawned, Howard encountered many things which Spiff had changed from the original Skyrim to match Todd's vision, including numerous Nazeems, chicken guards, and a Minecraft house.

When Howard found proof that Reanu Keeves had entered The Spiffed Skyrim (he saw Reanu from a distance at Solitude), he knew that Reanu's power was so great that he could soon travel to another plane in the Todd-verse. He then left Spiff's realm by taking a mysterious potion which gave him great power for a while, and then a heart attack. Howard's discovery led ultimately to The Battle of the Todd-shaped Hole.

### Reanu Keeves

Reanu Keeves, since Classic Skyrim and The Spiffed Skyrim are closely related, was able to travel to Spiff's realm before any other besides his intended prison of Classic Skyrim. However, he attempted to make this crossing before his power level was quite enough, causing his Spiffed form to appear much more aged than his Classic one. His overpowered gear changed appearance too; they appeared to be nobleman's clothes.

The Spiffed Skyrim granted Reanu Keeves numerous new powers such as physical magnetism (everyone magnetized to Reanu) as well as a host of new weapons such as blaster pistols. However, he forgot to don his powerful gear and so he was temporarily disembodied in a scuffle with the guards. When he came back into his aged form, he quickly put on his equipment and dispatched the guards.

Reanu Keeves went on many adventures in The Spiffing Skyrim and gained many new Perfectly Balanced powers and weapons. However, Todd Howard beseeched The Spiffing Brit to help him push Reanu back into Classic Skyrim, for if Reanu were to stay in The Spiffed Skyrim for too long then he would surely escape into the real world in a matter of days. So, with the power of Yorkshire Tea, the two forced Reanu back into Classic Skyrim and took all his Spiffing improvements. The Spiffed Skyrim was then permanently shut off from Classic Skyrim by a bubble of Yorkshire Tea which surrounded the entirety of Spiff's realm.