Episode 170

"*This podcast is like being in a fucking crazy asylum!*"
—Paul's Ego

**Episode 170**is an episode of Drunken Peasants.

## Highlights

* TJ is rejected from every church known to man.
* Wild Bill turns into Mild Shill.
* The Faded Holy Soldier is served a shit milkshake.
* Paul's Ego vs. Jim Ass.
* Tits.
* DP: The Wrestling League.

## Videos Played

1. Hard....Case
2. Feminist Rap
3. Right Guard Sort review - FUNNY
4. RANT: High School Coach Suspended after Praying at Game!!!
5. Marilyn Manson BURNS A BIBLE ON STAGE! TVC Responds to this Satanist!
6. The Amazing Atheist Exposed!!!
7. AMERICAN PRIDE 2016
8. Mr advice October 16 2015 ( Sex with an 89 year old grandma)
9. Google Freaks Out After Alex Jones Storms Headquarters
10. Brony Rage (Reupload)
11. Dave Creator not Davecreator
12. Who Killed the Liberal Arts?
13. ernie wayne ter telgte tertelgte, The Montana Living Natural Man, on Oaths and Bonds
14. Wrestling Video Game with the DP

## Start Of The Show

The show began with Scotty being replaced by the Mysterious Question Mark Man. They shilled out their shirts. TJ commented he didn't like the cut of the mystery guests' jib. They brought Paul on the show, who called out the mystery guest for being an abusive piece of shit. TJ explained how he had to use the word scenario instead of situation because Paul ruined the word for life.

TJ told a story about Paul's ask.fm and how he was disappointed Paul didn't call the show crap, proving he's impossible to please. Paul sings a friend of his a special birthday song by the name of "Domestic Violence Situation" in his Butt King voice. It was so hilarious that TJ retired from DP.

They played an old Paul's Ego video talking about his highly developed YouTube sensibilities in a supervillain-esque voice. They talked about an old YouTuber who once did a dildo unboxing. Paul tried to find his baseball bat but failed horribly, disappointing millions.

They played a cringey feminist "rap" that almost brutally murdered the whole audience in cold blood. The teen girl's voice was already shrill and obnoxious enough, so the subject matter made it even more unbearable. People were actually sitting in an audience listening to this shit. Ben continued the video because he hates the average chat-goer (just like any other rational person feels about the chat.) The same eleven year old unable herself to consent to sex starts talking about the very concept of consent, it was clearly written by their parents.

The livelihood of thousands was saved by the Troll or Not a Troll. It was some guy comparing brands of deodorant, there was no twist worth mentioning and TJ concluded it was a horrible troll.

They moved into the Crazy People Segment. The first video by Josh Moronstein who was talking about a football coach in high school by the name of Coach Kennedy, who was suspended for forcing prayer on his athletes. Scotty blamed the homosexual agenda. Paul pointed out how mandatory prayer is fucking bullshit in a secular country like America. Moronstein himself couldn't even articulate a fucking point. They brought up the impending Christian Holocaust as predicted by Josh himself.

They moved into a TVC video about Marilyn Manson burning The Bible in an Instagram picture. Paul expressed disappointment in not being able to joke a join with Manson in Heaven because he's going straight to Hell. Paul comments how setting the infallible Bible aflame isn't a terrible thing, as many cultures think of fire as representing life. TJ tried to unmask the mystery guest, so Paul had to apologize on behalf of DP.

## Middle Of The Show

They played a video by some guy called Brother Wayne trying to succeed where all others have failed, exposing TJ for good. He speculates that TJ is an atheist because every single church known to man rejected him. The mystery guest moves to digress by saying Scotty Cena attempted suicide and was not murdered by Scotty. They returned to the video and Wayne offered to drill TJ live on DP.

 File:WildBongforAmerica.png
They moved into a Mild Jill for Canadia video talking about the decline of the US, supposedly because the country is losing their faith. It turned out to just be a fucking advertisement for an "American Pride" calendar-book that will apparently tell the exact stories which America's youth today need to read in order to stay prideful. Paul speculated if it featured a picture of Thomas Jefferson fucking his black slave bitch in the ass. Ben compared the calendar to Mormon magic underwear. TJ said he would buy the calendar and hang it up in the studio.

They played a video by The Faded Holy Soldier. He was answering some fan questions, the first being from a supposed female fan of his looking to sample some authentic Mexican cuisine. They next question was about a fan of his who found to a girl to make him a shit milkshake for five-hundred dollars and nine cents. The guy in question claimed the vagina should be comparable to the stock market. TJ said he should be forced to watch the feminist rap and offered the feminazis his eternal soul as a peace offering.

Paul takes time to digress into Paul's tweet at the FBI trying to get their help to destroy atheists who attacked his family. TJ talks about the idea of suing Brett Keane. They brought Jim Ass on the show and he engaged in combat with Paul. They took a break and showed off titties.

## End Of The Show

They returned to more animosity between Paul and Jim. Paul thinks Jim is a trust fund baby who used his money to get on DP, he then encourages Mr. Ass to die of alcohol poisoning. Jim talks about watching Fire Ball Z with TVC. TJ is revealed as the one who tried to murder Scotty Cena, he also murdered the mystery guest and replaced him with Scoopy. We got a brief glimpse of Jim Ass. They moved on from the video they left on.

 File:JimsonAss.png
They moved into an Alex Jones video about the evils of Google Fibre. Jim described a story in which he hit one of his cousins for being a pagan.

They couldn't take the stupidity and quickly moved on into a Brony video about a guy who was highly offended by a MLP coloring book failing to cater to the show's TRUE demographic. Paul outs Jim as a brony. There was some patron guest on who was a brony, but he barely spoke so it's irrelevant.

They played a video about a guy called Dave Creator who was confused and receiving shit for being confused with DaveCreator, the guy who made DP's intro and later had a falling out with them. TJ said this other Dave should make their intro and told the fans to stop hating on him.

They played a Prager University video about how it's a bad thing for people to take a diverse group of studies to earn a college degree. Look out *MacBeth*, there's a new definitive tragedy on our hands. They basically shit on the current curriculum without providing alternatives. A bunch of weasel words were used in the video. They go on a strange tangent about how scientific progress brings about these changes. Jim Ass apparently still shits in a chamber pot. He also wants Paul's dick in his ass. Paul tries to bust a nut in Jim's bellybutton

They moved into a video by The Living Man and his ongoing struggle with the court system. He compares himself to a living representation of the dirt, water and air. Paul suggested he and TJ go on a spiritual journey to go meet and interview the Living Man via Periscope. The peasants smoked too much pan and almost died.

They moved into a video of Drunken Peasants Wrestling, it was made by Ben in a video game. TJ said there was likely more videos like this to come. Paul called Jim as fucking gimp because the best he can do is a crayon drawing.

They then moved onto Storytime With Paul. He has a story appropriately enough about a friend of his getting drunk. He describes a young Paul being invited to drink with a friend, apparently one guy who had never gotten drunk ended up Jim Ass level drunk. Jim kept interrupting so he got the boot. Paul told his friend to stop drinking and settle down but he kept drinking and getting worse and worse. He eventually looked Paul right in the eye and said he would fuck him right in the ass, causing him to back off.

He pulled up a chair and came after Paul, causing him to run for the sake of his anal virginity. Paul brings up how he was wearing baggy as pants while trudging down a hill, but his pants began to fall down so he had to keep pulling them up. Paul ran as fast as he could but his pants finally fell and he flew his way down the hill, his "friend" caught him in mid air and pulled his ass to his crotch mid-air, dry humping him like crazy. The landing managed to take the wind out of Paul's lungs and he as unable to stop the doggy dry fucking. All Paul could manage is to scream out *"Noooooooo!"* which caused his friend to snap out of it and leave Paul alone of the field, claiming he was "just kidding!"

 File:KeaneVideoGame.png
They gave a preview of DP taking on the Masters of Stupidity in the wrestling game. The first match was TJ vs. Keane. TJ suplexed Keane several times over. Keane went for a low blow. TJ tagged in Ben to take over the situation at hand. Ben got rekt so he had to tag in Scotty. G Man was tagged in to show Scotty a starving child.

G Man manages to pull off his finisher, The No True Scotsman. TJ returns to the match to finish off G Man, TJ got o-o-o-o-owned. Ben tries his hand again to avenge DP. It goes into an all out brawl outside of the ring. The Masters of Stupidity all gang up on Ben. The peasants ended up getting rekt pretty hard. They brought the show to a close.

## Quotes

* *"I don't just shill my shit, I wear it myself!"* - TJ's take on DP's merch.
* *"TJ's having a french-vanilla situation."* - Paul brings up a bit of a situation.
* *"When Dorn makes mac-n-cheese, you eat it!"* - What could have very well been the last episode of the show.
* *"It's got its finger in you, mystery guest. You quer!"* - Paul to the mystery guest.
* *"These poor people, they're one step away from a fucking gas chamber."* - Paul predicts the Christian Holocaust.
* *"Jesus would not do meth."* - Ben
* "A lot of girls are uh... raped and stuff. Because of that you should buy a Drunken Peasants shirt." - TJ's killed ad campaign.
* *"Take it in the ass, you slave bitch!" -* Thomas Jefferson, 1389.
* *"I'm gonna get all up in that ass!"* - Paul to Jim.
* *"I have Skype issues that I don't like to discuss online."* - Paul as an SJW.
* *"I like the fact that even if im fucking your mouth, I'm fucking your ass."* - TJ to Jim.
* *"Lack of sanitation is great too."* - Scotty Kirk supporting death by diarrhea.
* *"I might fuck your belly button though, Jim."* - Paul's Ego.
* *"Shut up, Jim. You cunt."* - Paul to Jim after interrupting his story.
* *"What happened to the RV Trip around America? You piece of shit?!"* - Paul's impression of Keane.

## Trivia

* Boobs are scarce. The single goal in life (even for straight women) is finding the perfect pair of tits.
* Ben is Neb.
* Paul has an incredibly large and impressive manor.
* Cultural appropriation is okay if feminists do it.
* Paul's friend Jason will be visiting him for three weeks around the holiday season, he plans to have him make a cameo on DP.
* Half the chat attendees died, but it's okay because TJ raised them back from the dead as even bigger zombies than before.
* TJ hates the mystery guest.
* Paul acknowledges Scotty as the true Kaiser of DP.
* Marilyn Manson owns self-destructing bibles.
* TJ finds the Bible incredibly boring.
* TVC got a game over. Try again?
* Paul was triggered because a rogue pendulum raped him in his youth.
* Eating shit can give you Ebola.
* Mystery guest is a huge fan of Butt King.
* Scotty was trolling the whole episode.
* Bronies desire to fuck ponies.
* Brett Keane wrestles in tighty whities.
* G Man and Brett Keane are downright savage in the ring.
* Scotty loves cargo shorts.

## Gallery

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