Learning to Fight Part Three

"*But seeing how I would have acted if I had won, I'm really glad I lost now.*"
―Erik
Learning to Fight Part Three (also titled Learning to Fight Part 3: Why We Fight) is the 149th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette and the third video in the Learning to Fight series. It was released on May 28, 2022.

## Summary

Doctor Frank gives a recap of Erik's fight against DJ Welch in the Creator Clash. Erik is eating cat food because he lost, but he celebrates all of the good things that came out of the event. The Fight Genie appears and offers Erik three wishes. Erik wishes that he won the fight, and Doctor Frank gives a recap of how Erik won. Erik lets the victory get to his head and says he's ready to fight Binging with Babish.

Erik says that he'll fight anyone, including Linus Tech Tips. He tries to challenge Linus to a fight, but he accidentally leaves an embarrassing comment because the boxing gloves got in his way. He goes to a Binging with Babish video and challenges him to a fight. He hires DJ Crib Def to write a diss track, but in the song DJ Crib Def goes off on a tangent about his dick. Erik wishes that the video is sponsored by Manscaped and plays the ad segment.

Erik keeps eating the cat food because he has a taste for it, and he watches a Sargon of Akkad stream to see if he accepted a challenge to the Creator Clash, but Sargon of Akkad thought it was a challenge to a verbal debate. Erik hires DJ Crib Def to do a diss track on Sargon of Akkad, but DJ Crib Def sings about Binging with Babish again. Erik decides that his greatest opponent is Hank Green and challenges him to a verbal debate.

Erik gets a Skype call from DJ Welch, who wrote Erik a poem and reads it to him. Erik then reads a poem of his own, which is just lyrics from a DJ Crib Def song. Erik is touched, so he wishes that he had lost after all. Then DJ Welch points out that Erik probably has a concussion and Erik is hallucinating. DJ Welch hits Erik with an Empty Force chi ball through the screen and calls out Binging with Babish.

## Comments

*~~Linus, you have never heard of me, but would you consider boxing me for charity? This is a completely serious offer. Not sure if you've ever boxed before, but just thought I'd check. Big fan by the way, would be my honor to have you tee up a nice little combo on my face.~~**Linus, I have to take my pants completely off to use the bathroom, even when I'm at a urinal. Not sure if you wanna see see my ding dong for free but I can also write you a check. Big fan by the way, would be my honor to have you tee up a nice little combo on my face.*
- Erik

*Hey fuck you Benjamin, I wanna see you whip up a nice little combo on my face god dammit still sound weird. You know what, maybe I'm just no good with the trash talk. That's why I hired highly prolific hip hop artist DJ Crib Def to write a diss track about you. You're definitely gonna want to fight me after you hear this shit, Binging with Babiiiiiiiiiiiitch*
- Erik

*Here's a very large number for you Hank Green you son of a bitch: 5 rounds, 2 minutes per round. How much is that? I don't know because I've never made it past two. The largest number in boxing happens to be six, as in there's six punches and thousands of combinations to throw them in that'll knock you so far into the past you gotta rewrite your debut novel all over again. You can punch out all the critically acclaimed stories you want, but can you punch out another human being? We can pop endless combos on eachothers chins, faces, maybe the belly a little bit and I don't even care if that sounds weird. I know you want to, so find out in the ring when we go toe to toe, slug for slug, no holds barred we can headbutt each other and bite ears. And just in case it isn't obvious, this is me challenging you to a verbal debate about the new Lord of the Rings series.*
- Erik

## Video

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