Alien Probing

**Alien Probing** is the pilot of the Starcop Log short-form series.

## Synopsis

Alien Probing begins with CBT (also known as Da BT) and how he defaces a wall but is caught by a Starcop constable. When the police officer tries to interrogate one of CBT's friends, One-Eyed Willy, the Starcop is has his head crushed by rubble, causing blood to gush out and seemingly killing him. CBT walks in as One-Eyed Willy breaks out of the precinct and Willy crushes the camera to destroy any evidence of him fleeing. The probing that the episode is named after only lasted for seven seconds.

## Transcript

* *[A scratched, dirtied Starcop badge appears as light flashes on it and a synthesizer plays. Title is typed out on screen: "Starcop Log 1: Alien Probing."]*
* Woman: Units are notified of an A69 in progress.
* *[A Starcop drives across an asteroid on a speeder bike, as meteors and broken rock fly across space in the background.]*
* Woman: Suspect last seen escaping on foot, ultimate goal; progress things to Sector 1.
* *[Cut to an alleyway in Universe City with an "Automaton Au Pair" billboard: "It does the work in the house so you can be lazy; available now!" we zoom in on CBT as he turns toward the camera and laughs, before turning around and walking towards a wall.]*
* Woman: Criminal identified as CBT, also known as Belemnite Bastard, otherwise aliased as Da BT.
* *[CBT gasps and pulls out a spray can, before shaking it. Cut to CBT spray painting graffiti on a wall.]*
* Woman: CBT is considered armed, dangerous, and slathered in goo.
* *[Sirens go off, CBT looks to the left of him and panics.]*
* Starcop: Put your hands up now!
* *[CBT runs offscreen.]*
* Starcop: I've defended this bit of the universe from constellation canailles for a tenner and a half now.
* *[We cut to CBT running away as the Starcop walks onscreen, before turning to the camera.]*
* Starcop: What the eff is this shit?
* *[Cut to the wall, which has blue graffiti reading "Da BT ludd tha les go, not tha les-bo!"]*
* Starcop: Sure, this looks like a benign prank, a bit of bullying...
* *[Fade to a worker spraying the graffiti with a fire hose, failing to get it off.]*
* Starcop: But crime is sinful, no matter what.
* *[Fade to a construction worker building a wall over the graffiti.]*
* Starcop: Someone has to clean up after those rat bastards, and it's almost never them.
* *[Cut to a wanted hologram: "Wanted! ...CBT, wanted for: armed robbery, vandalism, grave robbery, also known as Da BT.]*
* Starcop: As of recently, though...
* *[Cut to the Starcop on his speeder bike, flying to the Sector 1 Precinct; holograms of posters line the walls, one is a "most wanted" hologram that displays Green Phantom before fading to Arms. The other poster is a "crime doesn't pay"! one with a Starcop holding handcuffs, looking enraged.]*
* Starcop: ...it seems like something larger is upon us.
* *[Cut to the Starcop walking through a hallway.]*
* Starcop: Something a hell of a lot worse than some galactic graffiti.
* *[Cut to the Starcop walking into an interrogation room from behind.]*
* Starcop: It's up to Starcop to find out what the criminals are cooking in the aerolith underworld.
* *[Cut to One-Eyed Willy sitting on a table with a glass mug on it. Cut back to the Starcop.]*
* Starcop: This dude is gonna aid us by spilling the galaxy guts about his mob.
* *[One-Eyed Willy grunts. The Starcop pulls out a thick tablet reading "Missing! Starcop idol" and showing a cracked, dirty statue of an astronaut with a gun on a pedestal. A plaque on the pedestal says something in Latin. One-Eyed Willy grunts in a worried fashion.]*
* Starcop: That crap ain't wrong, is it, my homes?
* *[One-Eyed Willy grunts "mmm-mmm-mmm;" you're wrong. Furious, the Starcop slams the tablet on the desk, knocking over the mug. A beeping sound plays as the Starcop and Willy look at the camera. Pieces break off of the ceiling and the Starcop gets hit by one, screaming in agony as blood sprays from his helmet. Cut to greenish security footage of the scene; an overlay on the left reads "GUARD CAMERA FEED: CAM-Aaron-002: INT. ROOM," and a timer displays to the right of it. One-Eyed Willy gets up from his seat at the desk, which is now covered in blood and rubble, and walks away; CBT struts in and laughs maniacally. Willy rises up in front of the camera and punches it, breaking it and causing the feed to turn to a flash of light and shrink out. Text is typed on the screen, reading: "Starcop Log 01: End transmission/:go to iwfc.fandom.com/wiki/Starcop".]*