Dan Neser the Mechanic Man

REEEE, me kicks some shins!

**Dan Neser** is one of the workers at Krusty Burger. He works there as a mechanic.

## Lore

Dan's life started life off on the wrong side of the fucking universe, just a real nasty piece of shit. His papa and kid birther woman never paid attention to him. This led to hilarious times where he through shit on the walls, or entered a furry convention which made him a new man or the time he grabbed Mama's lighter and burned down their countryside home. His older sister was a complete throbbing veiny cock which is pretty much what he is too but shorter. Big and loud and above all a big major homosexual, nothing was ever put against her which frusattred Big Danny BOY THE PIPES- what? So ummmmm she was popular at skool but he wasn't, she failed every test, he did more than her and that's what counted. Each of these lead to anger issues and badly poopy anger face however, it was until he got one thing in his life, his high school diplopia, he was free from school and soon his parents and his sister and his deep lingering yearning for animals because dem furries fucked him up bad literally. And all he had to do was ask for his parents for money for college cuz he broke.

Dam walked away that day, he ranted on twitter about how terrible his parents are and how much he hates black people. He stormed off to his community college, all paid by him in cents and a few dollars he scourged up from the Fortnite store which was left in shambles after kids raided it. Dans was flying through college for his engineering major and tech minor. However, despite this stroke of luck, Ban is still a piss baby and he took out his anger on the slightest thing to someone walking wrong because they're a cripple or a baby crying which he tries to out cry it because he hates when babies cry. He also he threw a thanos diaper at one because it threw its diaper at him and he hates that. Fan is a fucking dunce but he knows life is unfair and when he wants to tell people about it, they don't wanna hear it because he smeeled like dah onions. He didn't like that so he tried to get a girlfriend but unfortualey they are lesbians for some reaosnn or not a woman at all, so that didn't work. Maybe a boyfriend?? But he isn't gay so he stayed away from that homo shit. Throughout dis he maintain a good grade, and passed with flying colors. So now what. He's homeless and on his own with a degree in engineering. He needed a job quick otherwise he will look like Mr. Burns with Alhemzier and dehyration and then die immiidately after.

Soon Dam is a hobo and during a bad storm, the 22 yr old midget with an old toolbox and some gay pair of pink overalls and a stained grey shirt and a picture of his grandfather who he reminded him of Barney the Dinosaur shooting up some heroine. As he was walking around the streets, almost hit by a bus and had found had found a huge robot, it was a large clown who he remembered him as the guy who drank too much on the largest bender almost the size of his mother's first bender and then puked on him (both of them did it.) It held a massive burger and Shan was starving like a bitch so he stared at it. He wondered if the clown was actually alive and whether it would be angry if he tried to eat the burger, like the rock head poop butt that he is, he went up to it and kicked it in its fredy fazballs if it had one. Next thing he knew, the clown's huge eyes looked down on him, and Ducn just fucking stared back at it in a staring contest but then he lost so fight and flight mood kicked in. First he was like "u hek, you look like a balding e-thot girl. SCREEEE!!!" and then, zoidberg walk his way into the restaurant. Inside from what he could see, it appeared to be a normal Krusty Burgers. Until' he saw four robobots on stage, a balding head ass kwyjibo looking dumb dumb who's cheeks kept him from sneaking up anyone, a little boy jester who looked like he's been ignored for too long, a "in the kicten and make me a sandwich" woman, and what could only be described as as a disturbed ballerina man has ever made. Her eyes? crossed. Face? Looking like a blobfish out of water. Hotel? Trivago. He walked away from them the plastic child molestors including the kids. He found a little sign on the window and read "Help needed, mechanic now!" Now Neser was like "man, me need achool or sumthing" so he walked down to an office, and inside he found a grey man with a fedora on like a little fucking dweeb 4channer. The grey man was like, "hey the fuck are you doing here!" Dna was like and he said "I need a job for achool, and student loans", he pulls out both of his dipolima from his tool box, The grey man was like "well my n-word you're hird".

Daum leaves the office and decides to look around and stumbles into the child's play area, and fucking there on the wall is a huge ass fucking a forsaken cross on the wall. On it was honest to God, was the thing of nightmares, and it was looking straight at him, the thing just looked him up and down, and then stopped staring. Dnn just slowly backed up, fearing for his life, and left to go the stage, he found himself going straight to the large fatty, he stared at it alot before, the thing talked "hey little kid, may I help you" and Dany was like "yah nah yah nah yah nah yah nah nah, fuck you im an adult" so, he then, tried to talk to the ballerina but it just stood there, before falling over, crushing Duan's foot and he just went fucking "REE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". The little piece of orange and purple shit just tried to trick him into spending his last three dollars into trading for some kkk shit which confused Daumnna so he moved to the woman and she screech like banshee asking if he wanted to krump with her, so he just left with blood and possibly cum in his ear. Daahahen then, realized that he hadn't talk to the manager what he has to do, so he headed to the office, he said "look my grey africian friend, I need to know what my job is" and the manager tells him "its just be the plumber and make sure the plastic crackers don't go and try to kill others as in press the black button on them, and if they break, just pull out the old engineer is engihere and wrench them back up to being fixed if they do. Frink did some stupid shit to them or whatever and now they get all like "screee, coffee time or something like that" and Daniheruia was like duuhhhh okay.................... :///////.

About a week in, dhagdhagdhadann had already wanted to commit death because he hated how boring it was and leave bu,t his contract forced him to stay cause he not big read-y boi and forget to read that fine print. (He's probably ilteriate or somehting idk). Worse still he had to deal with the screaming of poo poo costumers, with their bitchy ass children and their attitides on how the rat bit them and their kids and how they can work for such a terrible coporation and their kids screamed "fTAh 3 WhEn". He didn't care to hit a customer unless his boss was there. Daean only came out when one of the New Bots broke down because they're flimsy plastic pieces of shit and break easy or to plunge the toliet. The only bits of rest he has is in the lone backroon in the very back of the restuant at the very back of something at the very back of something else, at the very back of something else else, and even further back or something which in there with 4 broken test dummys and they are for sure dummys, fucking fat retards. He sat on the smotach of the one yhe manager called "Old Romer Botson" and he would vent out his edgy emo boy problems to the Botsons, sometimes through swearing like your mother (i should know, i am your step father). Other times through he would repetively screaming "fTAh 5 wHEnn" or just tossing them around out of pure unfiltered rage. The Botsons kinda didn't react to him since they aren't smart or whatever you wanna call it, but they learned something one day, not to fuck with Damama Motherfucking Neser. So a day later, Dannadmda pulls something out of his mammAAAAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOOO DIDN"T TO MAKE YOU CRY- huh? um it was a night of drunken rampage! YESS! He drank so much and hit so many woman and gay peoiple because his father died and his father was like, duhh me give it to dah women and he left duajdbadbdnbdad with only these words "Better Luck Next TIME!, Sonny HAHAHA AHDGHAgdADNDGAG". The next day, Drunk came into work with a hangover and the crowd watching the gang looked over to the entrance. He exploded! HE JUST STARETD to SHIT ON EVERYONE (not literally maybe). Man, women and children, workers or non workers with words of what the Irish do after St. Patrick's Day on a blue moon.

Soon an angry twitter mob decided to form becuase they hate dan now and dan was like I HATE YOU MOB, I HATE YOU MOB! And then he did a flip over the crowd and landed on New Homer's bald head and then he was like I HATE SHINS, I HATE SHINS!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He then fucking deletes homer's shins by fucking kicking it with his steel toed boot until his foot startee to hurt so he ran across the stage the fucking stupid ballerina, he picked her up and she was like duhhhh i like vegans is tdis a new dance routine and he just yeeted her to the other side of the building like dumb dumb she is. Dan Nukuem decides to leave but before he does, he gives everyone the middle finger and scream EAT MY FAT PINGAS! He steps out like an abusive ilititan fader. He came back the next morning, he was still fairly drunk and possibly high (fucking got hooked up on crack ya know), stumbled in without a word and everyone staring at him. He just went over the News and they all stepped back. Danman is like duhhh come here and said "I like ya cut G and slapped New Homer's bald head. He pulled out some New Homer shins which he has for some reason, He went over to New Lisa and shook her hand and said, next time try to dodge troll :))))))))). He then left to grab a cola, lit up a cigar he stole from a hobo and walked to the back of yo mama- i mean the backroom and he was like yo my homies dah fuck is up, and the olds were like duhh we're retarded and he was like i know you are and went onto romer's stupid fucking fatass smoatch and said "if you move ill fucking remove your legs" and fell alseep. Dah End for Dan cause Grey fuck is gonna make him lick the toliet for yelling at the customers.