Daniel Martin Lensky

Hi guys, this is your humble narrator **Daniel Martin Lensky**!!! I am a *sexy* citizen of the Mars Republic & an enlisted Laconic military police (RC: "Polemyk Astynomia") sex officer as well. As of 2022 I am a sergeant first class of Mars National Navy, a junior field technician of the tactical infantry unit on the Mars NN Lorelai special ops light cruiser reporting directly to the 5th Office of Mars Intelligence Directorate, a subsidiary of the magnificent Comité Extraordinaire also known as ExCom.

The unit is led by chief engineer Jade Lensky still under Manuel's command. Since Jade had her medical license revoked when she got sentenced for performing hundreds of illegal experiments on human subjects without their consent, she got some fancy new engineering degree to indulge her desire for illegal experimentation on robots instead.

They call me DML or also the Surgeon because of my rank & my weird autistic precision or whatever. The actual surgeon is Lieutenant Crussy because his name is Krasivy Chelovek, which means Pretty Man in Russian, he's also in the tactical team. His birth name is Wolfgang Sunawashra & his parents are working class Martians, but he doesn't like them very much. He's a funny guy who enjoys being weird, just like me!

## Current Job

Apart from Jade's mindfuck drills, tactical work means mostly brawling with drunk assholes in zero G while boarding ships & stations for inspection, or hiding from them in zero G while secretly boarding those ships & stations for inspection, or both. Sometimes indeed you get stabbed or shot or thrown out into deep space, which is why we got Crussy on board.

I spend most of my nav shifts trying to bridge the language gap between English and Martian Creole on fleet radio, or trying to figure out Manuel's commands to assist the pilot Vadim "Star Man" Starzman (DE: "Shtarhtsmann") in his weird magic flip & burn maneuvers I am totally not qualified to assist in any way. But Manuel says the navigator Loretta Steinmetz, a psycho bitch who broke my nose on Lagrange National Station, cannot always be there because she might get sick or injured or killed or whatever, you know, shit happens!

And they are always like yeah man, you can do it!! Once I was pointlessly arguing with Loretta about a maneuver, so Vadim forgot to announce it on intercom & the whole ship went into a cacophony of breaking dishes & bones & all that shit. Needless to say, It didn't raise my profile. Yet everyone is still asking me to get their weed from a funky guy named Courtyard Ghazi (a joking reference to the name of Expanse character Cotyar Ghazi) on the 5th of every month at 6:30 behind a sewage treatment pump on Ganymede National Station.

Shops are not allowed to sell drugs to members of the National Navy because discipline, you know!! Mars Military Police can confiscate all our stuff & inform our superiors as well, but they don't do it unless you really piss them off.

If you got too much on you, however, they take some of it away as a means to discourage you from dealing. Once they took a third of my shipment to the crew, but then Jade reported the incident at the 5th office & they don't touch me ever since.

Sometimes they even salute in front of me very conspicuously, shouting "fry yte fümaas" - which means Freedom For Mars in Yiddish or something - just to let me know that they know. We smoke joints in the air lock on the Lorelai.

## Service Record

I was immediately drafted by Mars Defense Forces upon landing on the ground terminal of Olympus National Station on september 2016, registered as a Mars Hungarian with classified birth records named Daniel Martin Lensky. MID officers did not let me register myself as Daniel Marton as they said the name was already way too common on Mars.

They just didn't let it happen, end of story! I hanged out for a few nights in a National Navy mass hostel & then they put me on a ridiculously tiny Balaton class frigate attached to a huge Belter frigate all the way to Bruderschaft National Station in Earth orbit & then it landed in the middle of the Balaton lake, LOL.

### First few rotations

I served for a while maintaining these little Balaton frigates on the Tihany peninsula & then I went to serve under the nymphomaniac HR officer Rozalia Ramadan on the Mars NN Menkaure submarine patrolling the Mexican gulf.

I was teaching stuff to the kids at the Kindertransport boarding school on a thermo-nuclear submarine bigger than the Burj Khalifa on Earth 2. It's the flagship of Mars National Navy back on Ancient Earth. Since Earth vessels are also allowed to land on Mars, they preserve themselves the right to run their ships in Earth oceans too.

After spending my Earth time quota & wanting to go back to space anyway, I was assigned to work on the massive extensions on Lagrange. It was mostly extra-vehicular construction work & I loved it a lot & I got dozens of crazy space junkie friends to watch the Banya Steva together with. The "bányásztévé" is the audio-visual interface of surveillance & control systems on mining platforms, like literally it means "MineTube" in Hungarian.

It comes from junkie Martian cosmonauts assigning themselves to the control rooms of deep extraction rigs & mobile harvesters in order to avoid more demanding tasks!! One morning I wake up in a transit pod after a very long pub crawl involving fist fights & all that shit.

My phone is ringing & It's this hyper-assertive blonde mission control girl Siham, I fucked her on a few ManProm dates because she liked my retarded jokes on the radio: she was like hi honey, you know you got an appointment tomorrow at the 5th office of MID?? I was like OMG WTF did I just do last night? No, I didn't know, thanks for telling! And she says what I did is classified, bazmeg, but I have to go!

### Lorelai assignment

I spent the next few days on a smelly dirty big troop ship headed back to Mars. I like these ships because the bunk beds are very comfortable & you can always find a bunch of punk weirdos in smelly dirty flight suits telling you all their crazy shit & we can buy beer from the cabin crew & smoke joints in the air lock. Mars National Navy is the best, hell yeah!!!

Jade & Manuel were waiting for me at Olympus National as if they were my mom & dad. They took me to some big room full of Mars admirals who asked me weird personal questions in their gypsy Hungarian dialect I knew all too well. The questions were super funny for the 1st half hour, but then they started becoming so disturbing that I started physically assaulting them after 80 minutes of interrogation.

I woke up chained to a hospital bed without remembering a thing that happened after my tantrum, but mom & dad were there telling me that the admirals were pleased with my performance of Crimson Dawn half naked on the table & I was assigned to the Lorelai & I was like errr... Okay, cool!!!

## WoW 18

I have participated in the War of the Worlds 2018 military exercise, commanding a dummy asteroid attack against the British Commonwealth with a rock hopper retro-fitted for stealth operations we named Mars NN Marco Inaros.

The details of our mission were made open to the public in advance, which made Indian space admirals decide to debilitate their own planetary defense systems on purpose, effectively using millions of civilians as human shields.

Iran was forced to withdraw lots of air defense capabilities from politically contested regions only a few months earlier, resulting in almost fifty thousand fatalities as an asteroid managed to make an impact roughly fifty miles away from downtown Mumbai.