1981 Richmond 400

The 1981 Richmond 400 is one of the most historic races of all time with two nicknames, "A Bad Day for Sammy Smelter" and "Sammy Smelter's Terrible Poop", because on lap 24 of the race Sammy Smelter suddenly had to leave the race to go to the bathroom and had a massive diarrhea and pooped all over the toilet and caused other cars to run away from the bathroom.

Sammy was there for about 25 minutes and by that time he was done he returned to the race but on lap 27 he had to go AGAIN and destroyed another of the five bathroom stalls in the Richmond Speedway men bathrooms. Sammy had to retire from the race due to having such a bad poop that he got weak. The reason he had the incident was because he ate a taco in the morning which was dirty.

It is considered the most historic Richmond 400. Meanwhile, rookie Alloy Wilson steals the win from Don Chapcar on the last lap. Kraig Shiftright does not finish after colliding on lap 67 with Ernie Gearson, Darren Gascan, Cole Speedland, Bill Sheilds and Dick Miller. This is the most historic Richmond 400 of all time and it is considered the most memorable for a lot of Piston Cup fans.

*Note: A car's poop comes out of it's exhaust pipes*

## Television Biography

Network: ESPN

Announcers: Ken Squier, Ned Carrett

## Transcript

### Sammy goes to the bathroom!

Ken: Darrell Cartrip still in the lead! Here comes Tom Landis, right on his tail!

(Suddenly, Sammy Smelter heads to the bathroom)

Ned: OH NO! WHAT'S THIS!? SAMMY SMELTER IS LEAVING THE TRACK! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON!?

Ken: I DON'T KNOW NED, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE HE IS HEADED TO THE BATHROOM!

(Team Radio)

Rust-Eze Crew Chief: SAMMY! Now is not the time to go to the bathroom UGH!

(back live)

Ned: Yup, Sammy has gone to the bathroom.

Ken: We shall find out soon enough as to why Sammy Smelter went to the bathroom in the middle of the race!

(meanwhile in the bathroom, Sammy Smelter starts pooping)

Ned: OH MY GOODNESS! SAMMY SMELTER IS POOPING, AND IT LOOKS VERY NASTY! ISN'T IT, KEN!

Ken: I don't know why that poop looks big and very discussing.

Sammy: Oh man. This is the most terrible poop I ever had! Now my rear end will be so sore and needs replacement! (continues pooping) Come on, come on!

(Shortly afterwards, Sammy stops pooping, and sighs)

Sammy Smelter: Ok! I'm done! I guess.

(Sammy drives out of the bathroom)

Sammy: I'M BACK GUYS SORRY! Let's continue this race I guess...

Rust-eze Crew Chief: Ok. You can continue.

Rust-eze Pitty 1: He smells pretty bad still!

Rust-eze Wide Pitty: Yeah he does!

Ken: Sammy Smelter really stinks because he pooped in the bathroom, and is now a lap down! Darrell Cartrip, still in the lead! Benny Pitstops up to 6th!

(later on lap 27)

Sammy: OH NO I HAVE TO GO AGAIN! (goes)

Ned: Don Chapcar right behind Landis BUT SAMMY SMELTER IS HEADING TO THE BATHROOM AGAIN!

Ken: This can't be, Carrett!

(again in the bathroom)

Sammy: (poops) OH MY GOODNESS! THIS IS EVEN WORSE THEN WHAT HAPPENED SOME TIME AGO! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! (bawls) THIS IS SO HORRIBLE IT JUST WON'T STOP! THIS IS THE MOST TERRIBLE POOP I HAVE EVER HAD! I SHOULDN'T HAVE ATE MY TACO! MY REAR END IS SURELY GONE BY NOW!

Ken: He's pooping worse than 2 laps ago, right Ned!

Ned: Yeah! He's just crying a lot about this!

Rust-Eze Crew Chief: WHY ARE YOU DOING TO THE BATHROOM SAMMY!? YOU ARE TURNING IT INTO SCRAP METAL!!!!!!

Sammy: Sorry, but I can't stop! (continues poops) There we go!

Rust-Eze Crew Chief: You're out for the rest of the season.

Sammy (poops some more): (gaps, and bawls even more) ***NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***

Ned: Poor Sammy Smelter. He's pooping a lot and he's out of the race!

Ken: According to his crew chief, he's out for the rest of the season.

Ned: That means he's out for the last 7 races. I hope he feels better next season.

### Lap 67 Crash

Chick Hicks: HA! TAKE THIS, KRAIG SHIFTWRONG! (does a PIT maaneuver on Kraig Shiftright)

Ken Squier: AND WE GOT TROUBLE! KRAIG SHIFTRIGHT COLLIDES WITH ERNIE GEARSON, DARREN GASCAN, COLE SPEEDLAND, BILL SHEILDS AND DICK MILLER!!! ALL OF THEM INVOLVED!!!

Ned Carrett: Has Sammy not come out of the bathroom as of this crash?

Ken Squire: No he has not! He is still there! We know he's out of the race.

Sammy: (talking to himself) I am too weak to race. I'm still in the bathroom but I'm NEARLY done. (then, his rear end became empty, and all the poop has gone through his exhaust pipes, then talks to his crew cheif) Ok. I'M FINALLY DONE! BUT I CAN'T RACE SORRY!

Rust-Eze crew chief: Alright. Alright.

(end of radio)

Rust-eze Crew Chief: I just got called by the team radio from Sammy that he is too weak to race due to what happened in the bathroom. So we should wait for him and then get packing!

Ned Carrett: I think this race is really infamous. Sammy pooping a lot is something I won't dare to look at.

Ken Squire: Yeah, let's forget that.

### Benny Pitstops wins

Ken: This is it! Final lap guys! Don Chapcar is in the lead! Benny Pitstops tries to ceatch up? Can he make it!

Ned: I don't think so!

Ken: Well, we'll find out as they go through turn 3.

Ned: Now Benny is getting faster and faster! HE GOES TO THE INSIDE! DON CHAPCAR FIGHTING ON THE OUTSIDE! THE'RE COMING TO THE FLAG! WHO'S GONNA WIN IT! IT'S BENNY PITSTOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BENNY PITSTOPS WINS AT RICHMOND!

Benny Pitstops: Phew! I'm glad that this race where Sammy pooped is over with.

Pinkie: Don Chapcar's in 2nd, Darrell Cartrip in 3rd, fallowed by Cale Yarblowgh, Bobby Carllison, Thomas Tireson, Chick Hicks, Terry Carbonte and Kraig Shiftright.

## Gallery

Sammy Smelter about to poopSammy Smelter pooping (the second time due to him eating a dirty taco)