A Loud House Holiday

**A Loud House Holiday** is the 71st episode of The Loudest House!

Next episode: Zhan Tiri's Revenge!

## Synopsis:

The Loud family's Christmas traditions are interrupted when Lisa spends Christmas with David's family.

## Character appearances:

* Lisa Loud
* Lincoln Loud
* Lola Loud
* Lana Loud
* Lily Loud
* Lucy Loud
* Lynn Loud
* Luan Loud
* Luna Loud
* Lori Loud
* Leni Loud
* Rita Loud
* Lynn Loud Sr
* David Miller
* Greg Miller
* Henry Miller
* Lizzie Miller
* Emma Miller
* Robert Miller
* Brittany Miller
* Sarah Miller
* Todd Miller

## Transcript:

On Christmas Eve, the Louds were all preparing for Christmas.

Rita: Okay everyone! Are all the presents ready for Loud Secret Santa?

The siblings nodded.

Rita: Fantastic!

Lynn Sr: And I might need a few more hours on the dinner. Apparently the figgy pudding burned! How’d that happen?

Rita: It BURNED?!

Sure enough, the smoke detector in the kitchen began beeping.

Rita and Lynn Sr rushed to the kitchen with a fire extinguisher.

Lisa (to viewers): And this is what a typical Christmas is like in the Loud family. Chaos! Destruction! Madness!

Lincoln: You’re one to talk! You nearly burned down the house last Christmas with your volcano experiment!

Lola: The fire department had to be called!

Lisa rolled her eyes.

Lisa: Okay, okay. At least we sang a Christmas carol to Mr. Grouse! I call that a good Christmas.

Lola: Whatever…

Lana: And my reindeer traps are sure to work this year.

Lola: You didn’t…

Lana: Oh, you bet I did! I just have to stay up all night to see it work.

Lincoln: That’s crazy!

Lola: I’ll say. In the meantime, I need to get on Santa’s nice list. Clearly, last year didn’t work. I got COAL along with some cheap stuff Mom and Dad gave me!

Lisa: Being nice is a waste of time. Especially for some fat guy who doesn’t even exist.

Lola glared at Lisa.

Lisa: Besides, it’s best to have superior intellect. So that way, if you do...say, get to work for NASA, you’d be able to do so successfully. Complimenting people is not scientific.

Lincoln: That explains your personality!

Lucy: Sigh…

Lisa: Watch it, Lincoln. Or bad things will happen…

Lincoln: I’m not scared of you!

Lisa held up a shredded comic book.

Lisa: I was going to give this to you for Christmas, but you earned it now.

Lincoln: LISA! How could you shred my first limited edition Ace Savvy!

Lisa smirked.

Lisa: I’m ignoring this trivial conversation, on account of how inane it is. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll call David and ask him what Christmas present HE wants. Unlike you people, he’s not ungrateful.

Lisa headed upstairs.

Lincoln: Lisa is so not getting a new test tube this year… To be fair, I wasn’t really going to get her anything.

Lola: I thought you were her secret Santa!

Lincoln: Wait - how’d you know that?

Lola: Please. I could hear you talking to Clyde about it. Just scheming and plotting on what to get her!

Lincoln: Lola! Really?

Lola shrugged.

~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, Lisa was talking to David on the phone.

Lisa: So, David. This Christmas will rock! I’ve decided to spend it with you and your family.

David (on the other line): I don’t think that’s such a good idea…

Lisa: And why not?

David (on the other line): Because my grandma April is coming over...or I would think she is. She hasn’t shown up yet. And Greg and I were going to go to 1510 to give Cassandra and Varian a wedding gift. You know, part of the Christmas spirit is giving!

Lisa: But my family is driving me nuts! I can’t take another tedious Christmas in the Loud house! I feel like I’ve LOST 20 brain cells just from living with those twits!

David (on the other line): I see. Well, maybe you could come over tonight for a little bit.

Lisa smirked.

Lisa: I’ll be there!

Lisa hung up the phone.

Lisa: And possibly stay there till Groundhog’s day!

Lisa laughed evilly.

~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, at the Miller home, David was preparing his present for Cassandra and Varian in his, Greg, Robert, and Henry’s room.

Sarah came in and looked sad.

Sarah: David, grandma April isn’t coming over for Christmas.

David: What? Why? What happened?

Sarah: She got in a big car crash in Third Street, just by Royal Woods…

David: Is she okay? I hope she’s not hurt!

Sarah: She isn’t. But her car was totaled!

David: That stinks! I wanted to show her my new chemistry experiment! I intended to make her proud this time!

Sarah: I know… I bet she’ll still be thinking of you and all of us.

Sarah kissed David on the head and left.

David: At least Greg and I can still give Cassandra and Varian this sweet computer!

Greg came rushing into the room.

Greg: Bad news, David!

David: What?

Greg: The space time continuum! It’s all messed up! Apparently because we’ve been going to 1500 every day these past few months!

David: What? It can’t be!

Greg: Yep. And the wormholes are not opening either!

David: Impossible! Just yesterday I went to the future to tell your future self NOT to marry Darcy.

Greg glared at David.

David: What? You just saved yourself 30 years of total mind numbing stupidity.

Greg: Whatever. At least Robert and Riley will bake a sweet Christmas cake…

Just then, Robert entered and flopped on his bed.

Robert: I’m depressed…

David: What happened?

Robert: It’s Riley. He won’t be able to come over this year.

Greg: But why?

Robert: He and his moms are baking cookies for the needy. And...I was supposed to do that with him!

David: Well, I support such a noble cause...but he should’ve invited you. You’re his boyfriend!

Robert: I know! But he said it was just a family thing. Apparently, he doesn’t spend so much time with his moms.

David: Yeah. Cause you are always together. Every. Single. Day.

Robert: Right? I think we’re practicing for when we get married!

Greg: Whatever...will you still cook something for us?

Robert: About that. I decided to take a break. You know, for the holidays.

David: But why? We need Christmas cookies!

Robert: Dad is already on that. And Christmas dinner!

David: Oooo, what is it?

Robert: Go down and see!

David: I will!

~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, Lisa went down to the living room where the rest of the Louds were watching a Christmas movie.

Rita: Come join us, Lisa. We’re watching Elf!

Lisa: As tempting as a movie about some inane elf is, I’m going over to David’s. He texted me and told me his Christmas plans are falling apart.

Lori: Oh come on! I’ll be going away to college next year, and now YOU’RE leaving us!

Leni: That’s totes cray!

Luna: And I wanted us to sing some Christmas carols! Maybe Mr. Grouse will be up for an encore from last year!

Lisa: I wouldn’t push your luck.

Luan: But surely you want me to finish those 12 puns of Christmas! I’ve already done 6!

Lisa: Those jokes are as funny as paint drying.

Luan looked shocked.

Lynn: Well, you didn’t tell me where all the Christmas presents are, Lis!

Lynn Sr and Rita glared at Lynn.

Lynn shrugged.

Lynn: What?

Lucy: What about my mock funeral? Or the search for the ghost of Christmas future?

Lisa: One, that’s creepy. And 2, that’s a book. There’s no real ghost of Christmas future.

Lucy: Sigh…

Lincoln: But what about my Ace Savvy! It’s totaled thanks to you!

Lisa: Get over it!

Lynn Sr: Lisa!

Lola: And you promised me to help me impress Santa. I cannot have less presents than Lindsey again this year!

Lisa: I thought you’d share with that vapid beauty queen. I mean, you two are friends now…

Lola: Why, you little…

Lana: And Hops is missing. I looked for him everywhere!

Lisa: Hops is dissected. Moving on…

Lana: Lisa! Why? Also, my reindeer traps aren’t working. I put one all the way in Third Street, by that elementary school, but all I caught was some old lady.

Lisa looked shocked.

Lisa: That was David’s grandma! You should take down all those horrible traps right now!

Rita: Lisa’s right, Lana. Somebody could’ve gotten hurt.

Lana: Fine...I’ll take em down…

Lily: And where’s my Christmas story, Lisa? You love reading to me!

Lisa rolled her eyes.

Lisa: You want a Christmas story? Well, a 6 year old scientist just wants to spend Christmas away from her 10 noisy siblings. Her friend, Foop has plans with his beloved Goldie. Her beloved Hugh has midterms. Her best friend in the whole world, David had family plans, but they all went wrong, so she wants to go over to his house to give him the best Christmas yet. The end.

Lily blinked at Lisa.

Lisa: What? It’s the best I got. Can I go now?

Lynn Sr: Wait, Lisa. You were supposed to help me with Christmas dinner. I remember you saying you’ve been getting lessons from Robert and Riley. Isn’t that right?

Lisa: I have. But please. How hard is it to preheat the oven to 450, then put the beef in the oven in 30 minutes?

Rita: Lisa, we always spend Christmas as a family! I don’t want that to ever change!

Lisa: I HATE this family! And I HATE Christmas! I’m blowing this place!

Lisa got her coat and David’s present, then headed out the door.

Lola: Well! Somebody’s on the naughty list!

~ ~ ~

Lisa reached David’s house and knocked on the door.

Brittany answered it.

Brittany: Lisa? What are you doing here?

Lisa: I’m crashing here for the next few weeks. I can’t take my family anymore!

Brittany: ...Okay. Come on in.

Lisa headed into the Miller home. The rest of the Millers were all in the living room watching a Christmas movie.

Lisa: Hey look, it’s Elf! How cute.

David: You like this movie?

Lisa: Why sure!

Lisa sat down in between Greg and Henry.

Greg: Merry Christmas, Lisa.

Henry: Likewise. I’m glad you came to join us.

David whispered to Lisa.

David: What happened?

Lisa: I’ll tell you later…

Emma: Well, I’d like to read to you the awesome tale of the Christmas Carol…

David: Not that. We do that every year.

Lizzie: I say we should all bring Varian and Cassandra over here and give them the best Christmas. I heard they never had much of a Christmas. And everyone knows Christmas is about giving to the less fortunate!

David: That sounds like SO much fun, but no. Remember the space continuum is all out of whack now?

Lizzie frowned.

Lizzie: Oh. I’m certain Landon could use a good present. That may explain his anger issues and aggressive tendencies…

Lisa: I wouldn’t do that, Lizzie. According to Lincoln, Landon hates everything. Even Christmas.

Lizzie: Oh, I’m sure that’s not true…

Lisa: Oh, but it is.

Robert: Well. I decided one thing. I’m not going to sit around moping about Riley! I’m going to make the best figgy pudding AND yule log this world has ever seen!

Robert left excitedly.

Lisa: What was that about?

David: Don’t ask…

Todd: Ya know, that’s a good thing he wanted to cook. I was running out of ideas for Christmas dessert… Creme brulee? No! I don’t even know what that is! Swedish meatballs? Not on Christmas! And certainly not for dessert! Ice cream sundaes? No. We have that every Sunday!

David: We get it! Come on, Lisa. We need to have a little talk…

Lisa: Okay! I just love your family so much!

Lisa and David left.

Sarah: So, who’s up for setting the table?

The Miller siblings raised their hands.

~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, at the Loud home, the rest of the Louds were still shocked about Lisa’s outburst.

Lynn Sr: I don’t know what happened.

Rita: Tell me about it! I thought she loved Elf - ever since she was a little baby!

Lola: Once a Grinch, always a Grinch.

Leni: What does that mean?

Lola face-palmed.

Lola: Leni! Don’t you see what’s going on? She hates Christmas so much that she wants to ruin it for...everybody.

Lincoln: She seemed happier about going over to David’s house for Christmas.

Lola: Oh, that’s where it begins! She ruins David’s Christmas, then ours, then the whole world’s! Just like that mean green Grinch!

Lana: Give me a break, Lols. David’s her best friend. Surely she’s happier now that she’s with him.

Lola sighed.

Lola: I guess so…

~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, at the Miller home, David and Lisa were still talking in David, Greg, Robert, and Henry’s room.

Lisa: And that’s what happened. You know, I can’t take my family anymore! I love them a lot - but they’re just so infuriating all the time! UGH! I just HATE them sometimes!

David: Well my Christmas isn’t looking so hot either. The space time continuum is all messed up because Greg and I time traveled to 1500 every single day for the past few months - and the wormhole’s busted! I don’t get it, too, because I went to the future to successfully ruin Greg’s relationship with Darcy. Now I can’t even visit my great, great, great, great, great grandparents for the holidays - and their wedding! And Robert WAS in a funk about Riley not being with him for Christmas, but I think he’s gotten over it. And finally, my grandma April got in a serious accident. You already told me what caused it. Lana’s stupid reindeer traps! I swear, she’ll pay for almost injuring my grandma!

Lisa: I had no idea. Well, I have somewhat of an idea. You see, I know you have a lot of siblings like me. But yours are so...put together, I could hardly have guessed there’d be chaos in your home. Much unlike mine. My house is practically a ZOO!!

David: Oh, believe me. I know. That’s why I prefer to spend time at home...or spend the night at Foop’s than yours.

Lisa: So, please David. Keep me here for...ever! I can’t take my family anymore.

David: I would. But they’d probably miss you. Besides, I’m not sure there’s enough room at the dinner table. Well, I mean there wouldn’t be if I could snag Varian and Cassandra from the 1500s, and if grandma April was still going to our house. She is currently at the Third Street hospital resting and trying to get her car fixed.

Lisa: I had no idea! You know, maybe I should go home. My family will probably miss me, and Christmas at the Loud home just isn’t the same without me. I mean, who else will give Lola coal this year? Yeah, I should probably get going. Have a merry Christmas, David.

David: And you have a merry Christmas too, Lisa.

Lisa: Oh, and one more thing. I got a gift for you.

Lisa handed David a small yellow package.

David: It can’t be. How?

Inside was Varian and Cassandra’s wedding rings, saved good as new after they died.

Lisa: When Leni dragged me to the mall for her yearly Christmas shopping on Black Friday, I went to the antiques shop and found these two very...interesting rings. I thought of you, because you could pass them down to your wife when you grow up and get married.

David blushed.

David: That is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever given me. Thank you, Lisa.

David gave Lisa a kiss on the cheek.

David: Merry Christmas, Lisa. And happy New Year.

Lisa: Merry Christmas to you too, David.

Lisa left.

~ ~ ~

Lisa finally reached the Loud home, to her family at the door angry.

Lisa: Okay, okay, okay. I know what you’re thinking. Lisa, you ditched us on the most important day of the year! Lisa, you’re a selfish grinchy monster who only cares about yourself! Lisa, where’s my 100 dollars? Lisa, oh - you get the idea!

Rita: True, we were all thinking that. I mean HOW COULD YOU!

Lynn Sr began crying.

Lynn Sr: We were worried SICK!

Lori: Yeah! I was literally about to show up to David’s place to get you back! But then Bobby texted me…

Leni: And I made you a sweet Christmas sweater for you!

Rita looked at the rug in the living room, that was all torn to shreds.

Rita: Leni, you used my rug?

Leni looked embarrassed.

Leni: ...Ooops.

Luna: And you missed the most epic Christmas carol to Mr. Grouse! I was hoping you’d rap some parts to Deck the Halls…

Luan: And...even though Mr. Coconuts has been woodchipped, I got a new dummy.

Luan held up a female ventriloquist dummy.

Luan (in a funny voice): Hi guys, I’m Mrs. Coconuts! Pleased to meet you!

Lisa: But...how?

Luan: Lana found all the scraps from Mr. Coconuts and reassembled the whole thing.

Lana: It was not that hard.

Lola: And Lisa, I’m sorry if I’VE been rather selfish. Only concerned about being nice so Santa will give me presents. What they say is right. It IS good to give than receive. So I gave a few of my dresses to the homeless shelter. A little girl who lost her home would be lucky to wear one of my best pageant gowns!

Lisa: Wow, Lola. I didn’t think you had it in you. Well done.

Lola: And now I want 20 new dresses to replace the ones I gave away! NOOOOWWW!!!

Lisa rolled her eyes.

Lisa: Yep. Same old Lola. I have just the surprise for you tomorrow…

Lisa smirked.

Rita: Well, it’s good to have you back!

Lynn Sr: Yeah! Now who’s up for ribs, mashed potatoes, squash, figgy pudding, chocolate cream pie, and a huge salad all made by me?

The Loud siblings licked their lips.

Rita: Yep, your father’s been busy cooking all day. And it took a few tries, but I think he made a successful meal!

Lana: Okay! Let’s eat!!

~ ~ ~

The next morning, the Loud siblings all rushed to the tree to open their presents.

Rita and Lynn Sr came out.

Rita: This is the Christmas worth celebrating.

Lynn Sr: Yeah. It’s nice and peaceful.

Lola opened her last gift and found coal.

Lisa giggled.

Lola looked furious.

Lola: LISAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Lisa: Gotta go!

Lisa maniacally laughed and ran away, to Lola chasing her.

Lynn Sr: Well, it was ALMOST peaceful…

Lynn Sr and Rita hugged as the rest of the Louds were enjoying their presents.