Kringleberg

Kringleberg (right) looking down upon the jazz haters.

### Roles

Honorary Mod AF2018, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Kansas, King Crimson, Mahavishnu Orchestra, Mike Oldfield, Pink Floyd, Rush, Soft Machine, Wobbler

### Known for

Kringlepastas, server memes, geniousity

Kringleberg is the bestest jazz fan on the Progressive Rock Server, activist, and world-encompassing power lord of Grapes. He is renowned on the prog server as being one of the Ultimate Geniouoses. He masterminded several server memes. All bow down to Kringle. Occasionally a Bog. He also lives in Norway, which is a pretty cool country. Achieved ultimate genioiusity when he realised that other genres are better than prog. Like Jazz 😎Free Jazz 😏

Kringleberg has himself released music under the Artisté Namé 'Kringler'. Featureng music not inspired by music he likes, but Genoious Music from the mind, creating the topmost of smartness in music like DRONES and NOISE. He has so far released two albums, 'Richmond Avenue' and 'Burning Songs for Dead People'. Both albums won 5 awards at the 2018 Greggs Crock Pot Progeressive and Expereminetal Musique Awardis Festival.

Kringle is also GOOD STORYTELLER here are some of his stories

* "Anyways twas a time of the great intrepid introubles in ssweooudiland on thay eve in which the sailermen decided to have a little fun. They went dow  to the fisherhouse and bought three tunae. They ate two of thos tuna. Howevrr, while they were sleep8ng the last tuma  woke up and devoured the fishremen. However he was too fucking fat to eat all of em so he left a leg from each fisherma  and used them as his own. Thus goes the story of the tuna with three legs."
* "I know a girl named Melone and she was really insecure because of her weird name. Dont seem to care about the green skin and severe rotundity thiugh."
* "Once upon a time during the reign of the King Udugurgos XVIII when Thad Chrunchy Cock was born. He died shortly after."

## Hog Theory

Kringleberg published his theory on the forced evolution of hogs to mammoths in 2018. It immediately won the Nobel Prize in Physics, Chemistry, and Medicine. It also won the Nobel Peace Prize as the world now had a common goal to work towards.

> "this is my theory of the future of the evolution of hogs to mammoths. this will be the first experiment ever into forcing evolution through natural selection. what we will do is we will put several hogs on a large plain. there is plenty of food, but water is only avaliable at wells. only the hogs with the longest snouts can get to the water. over time the water level in the wells will go down, forcing the hogs to evolve longer snouts. eventually they will develop muscles in their snout, and to support their long snout they will grow to mammoth sizes. the natural predator of the hogs on this plateau are the biggum, a species of very wide poisonous frogs that emit a constant low-pitched hum. the hogs with the biggest ears can hear this hum and thus will avoid getting killed by the biggum. eventually hog ears will grow large so that they can always hear the hum of the biggum. their legs will grow thick and mammoth-like because they need to stomp on the biggum. i have provided a picture of what this future hog-mammoth will look like. i call it: the high hogephant."
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## Quotes

* "Serouis Progresisver ROcker DISCUSSION in theis SERVER right now this server wAS Creatd thois year 2017 2017 2017 repeate 2017 times and it was made in order tyo discuss the genre we know of as ProgreSive Rock,,,,,,, featureing progressive rock bands Such as: Liunmip Buizjkot, WEEozer, Notourios B.I.G, and nlast bout nost least, motherfucking pogs. in order to create progressive rock we need to first create Phil Collins, who is the Ultimeate Lifeform. In fact, yes, phil collins also happens to be a God. Phil Collins created the universe in which we exist in, and without him, we weouuldt not have Progersive Cock. it is known that 100% of prog rcok lyrics are gibberish: example: "ewifh84fgurehpguhgioghgughhuhguhuhuhuh" -Yes, 1995 hahahahahahahahahahah hhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck oops"
* "I dont this is all a farce to give the real mods an excuse to take full control of prog server and plunge it into a authoritarian dictatorship 1984 style"
* "Dream Theater makes me Cream....theater."
* "if i see one more moptherfucking weebabo ass weaabus japanese nationalist omotherfucker you bet yoar ass im calling motherfucking whats his face the guy who directed american sniper hes famouse or something hes called uhh clint eastwood yes im calling clint eastwoood right now i f i see any more of one of yall anime loving motherfuckers fucking traitors to the US OH SAY CAN YOU SEE BY THE ROCKETS RED GLARE how dare you fucking pollute our glorious united states of AMERIC with your weebshit you piece of shit mongrel ass motherfucker i will stab you with my american coloured us flag if i see one of yall japenese chinese cartoon loving prick syou are cunts fucikings cunts how dare you destroy american heritage and culture by buying into this shitty fucking japanese carttoon animated series called anime fuck you weeaboos you are the disgrace you are degenerates you are th eerason western civilization is falling down you mothercfucker im gonan impale you on your block ass mother lookin ass bitch ho ass you stop speaking japenese and use american. AMERICA FOR AMERICANS"
* "did you know that the beatles murdered 30 women between 1967 and 1969? this is the basis for the song "the long and winding road"!"
* "because ur dumb and black sabbath sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😠😠 grrr fuckin ozzy osbourne cocaine crack head lookin ass"
* "Happy Family >= Cirkus > Lizard > Lady of the Dancing Water > Indoor Games > Genesis"
* "Phil Collins im your biggets fan oh my god i lvoe your work in geneis snad ouy rsolo ablum my faouvrit philc coghklsgisng sois just antoehrd ay in paradsi aAAAaaa i lvoe you phil colins have my babies!"
* "seasons is alright but one time he insulted me in such way, it was like my mother spit up my nose"
* "they call me buddhist duncan duncan"
* "someone make a Big Boobe Laips from Stephe Universe 😛 😩 I will pay you Large Sum"
* "i listen to one album a year and that album is the wall by pink floyd"
* "Abba my great granddad invented grapes."
* "the first time i listened to big generator i creamed my pants.
* this one goes out to all the mods; mooooooooderatioends, to james, to SAbahbt, to Cake, To fgfgfgfgfgfgdienbacker, to gwong, to pilar nad ha hahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaa y'alll DUMB! lol bet ya dont even know half as much about prog as me do i bet you cant name the chord PROGression (get it?? lol im so smart) for cheeky Girls "the cheeky song (touch me bum)"? no`? haha,.. knew it... you suposeewdly "porteciton of Prog" dont are so much prog alfater all!! its time weget soem REAL moderaiton, in here. you weenus(edited)
* wtf is that shit i dont wanna spend 50 hours tryna fix some tiny issue that makes my virtual dick vibrate sligthly to the right who the fuck do you think i am and who do oyu think you are fucking ubuntu ass microsoft ass bullshit i aint gonan fucking install a new ass, ass-ass fucking ubuntu ass stupid ios just so i can fucking waste my life on coding stupid shit into my fucking second life server god damn stupid ass bullshit i would rather bu y a mac actualy i woudlnt but i dont want to do that or get ubunut bcus ubuntu is for fat turds lickers and shit chickens children who are actually boobs godd damn what the fuck happened to our society whats wtrong with just trying to have a normal god damn computeri without fucking restart my ass every 10 minutes god damn stupid mocrisoft ass update
* computers are just porn boxes for people who don't listen to LYNYRD SKYNYRD sunglasses metal
* microsoft  bee like ugh ugh ooga booga banana me pantas
* "Post-tomorrow"