An Ode To My Cock

## Architect

Retro

**An Ode To My Cock**, also commonly called the **Spawn Dong**, was a phallic monument in Asgarth on Halfast during the Eighth Era.

It was located balls deep into the region's center on the south side of the Fish Bowl; as such it was often the first thing newcomers leered and lusted over as they arrived on Halfast.

Made fully erect by Retro in a single day, the 120-meter tall penis was said to be anatomically faithful to its creator at a 1:1 scale. Though at first the sculpture was quite literally rock-hard, he later replaced its stone superstructure when he was finally able to get wood—specifically, jungle and spruce wood.

Reception among the community was mixed; some some considered the Cock unparalleled artistic magnificence worthy of tears, while others found it distasteful and crude. Though it gained approval of the Hierach of Halfast HyperSilence, the Greywatch faction considered the structure profane enough to name Retro a public enemy, leading Lord Commander Lex to shaft him by placing a bounty on his head. Alec collected the bounty on behalf of Eternal Chaos by crossing swords with Retro in the shadow of the Cock and repeatedly thrusting into him.

    Retro later installed a redstone fireworks launcher activated from a button at the base and tip, allowing it to shoot great bursts of white in an explosive climax on demand.

An Ode to My Cock was the largest depiction of the dong in the known universe, which Retro had taken as his personal symbol and worn as a bannerhat in eras past.

The statue had a companion piece, the RetroVag, but unsurprisingly nobody on Halfast ever laid eyes on it, and Retro gave the whole world blue balls by leaving it incomplete.

# Quotes

Show/Hide Quotes

*ItzWahoo\_ joined the server for the first time!
Retro: welcome
Retro: you like mah cock?
Retro: haha
ItzWahoo\_ was too good for us and left the server
Alec: ope
Retro: he looked me right in the eyes
Retro: and dced*

*Jinx: im sorry whomst the fuck is making a massive dick at spawn
Alec: retro*

*Alec: god damn
Alec: these are some massive balls
Jinx: i would like them better if they were wood*

*Alec: we were praising ur masterpiece
Jinx: retro your dick should be wood
Alec: oak logs
Retro: Thanks :D
Alec: the ones with all 3 sides
Retro: also yes that would be ideal
Alec: omg
Alec: how
Alec: my farm hasnt produced nearly enough
Retro: a man can dream can't he*

*Jinx: and its a very nice dick
Retro: btw, it going to be titled, "An Ode To My Cock"
Alec: wonderful title
Retro: tyty*

*Retro: Lex is intimidated by your box btw
Jinx: you'd think she'd hate the giant dick more
Retro: I didn't say she didn't like it. But yes she is not fond of the penis
Alec: she wants the dick removed
Alec: she does hate it more than the box
Retro: wat
Retro: my dick is butiful
Retro: Lex has gotten pretty uppity now that she has an army :I*

*Alec: oh my
Lex: What
Alec: seeing the completed dick
Retro: :D
Lex: Work of Panda or Jinx?
Alec: retro
Retro: :)
Lex: Good god man
Alec: idk if any of the other 2 could create such a master piece
Alec: cost him quite a bit of stone tho
Lex: I can see that
Retro: just a drop in the bucket really
Alec: lol
Lex: Im not even sure if it is correct anatomy wise ngl
Alec: lol
Retro: oh it is
Retro: very well proportioned
Alec: indeed
Boiled Rice: does it have protection
Retro: ofc not
Alec: lil small as he said sleek's tower makes him feel a lil insecure
Retro: it stays unprotected
Lex: The protection is that its too big for anyone to take*

*Retro: I feel like the penis is getting a bad rap lately
Jinx: retro this is a predominantly male server and most of the females are lesbian
Jinx: i dont really think there are that many gay men here
Retro: welp
Retro: guess I don't know how to read a room*

*lineuzinhoo: note to myself: dont go south
Jinx: south is where the best things are
iAura: penis
lineuzinhoo: oh geez, iaura wasnt lying
lineuzinhoo: giant penis
Jinx: our very own DirkFunk built it
Retro: behold!*

*FlyingPokemon: that thing is huge
Tox: ayup
Tox: he's a grow-er not a show-er*

*splarbs: whoa
splarbs: im off for a week and theres a dick?
Retro: it only took a day to erect :D*

*Eustace: also i just noticed that theres a big stone phallic object in the distance
Eustace thats my next goal
Eustace anything is a dildo if you're brave enough*

*Retro: I can get back to my dong
Azureila: yes get back to the dong, it needs love*

*mickdm: so i just saw on discord that there's a spawn dong
HyperSilence: wot
FlyingPokemon: a spawn dong?
HyperSilence: LOL
HyperSilence: thats from old maps
HyperSilence: if you mean the giant penis
FlyingPokemon: oh Retro's ode to his co()ck
HyperSilence: @Retrontology made that 2 seaons ago
mickdm: oh that was 2 years ago i see
HyperSilence: it was beautiful*

*Retro: I can get back to my dong
Azureila: yes get back to the dong, it needs love*

# Gallery

Just the tip, with fireworks launcherBalls-eye view of the interiorUp the tube, showing launcher mechanicsA white geyser erupts from the tip

# Behind the Scenes

*The following is out-of-universe information about real-world Halfast.*

Retro completed An Ode To My Cock in just one day on May 20th, 2019. He downloaded a 3D model of an erect penis on the internet (as one does) and converted it into a schematic for the Minecraft mod Litematica so that he could recreate it in-game block-by-block.