Would a magical girl by any other name still spell as sweet?

July 29, 2022

Hal sits on their bed, looking seriously at the miniature velociraptor perched at the other end of their rumpled starry comforter.

“Okay, Tail, this is very important.” Hal holds up a length of twine in one hand and a charging cable in the other. “This one,” they say, shaking the twine, “is string. You’re allowed to bite this, because I specifically bought it for biting. But this one,” they gesture with the cable, “is my phone charger. You can’t keep biting these, because they’re expensive, and also because I’m pretty sure dinosaurs aren’t immune to electricity. Got that?”

Tail cocks his head to the side and gives a short trill.

Hal dangles the twine in front of Tail’s nose, and the velociraptor pounces, grabbing the string between sharp teeth. “Yeah, that’s right!”

“Now how about this one?” They bring the charger forward with their other hand, and Tail immediately lunges. Hal barely manages to pull the charger back in time. “No, Tail, what did I just say?”

The training session is interrupted when Hal’s phone buzzes, its screen lighting up with a text from Aeryn.

Hal texts back immediately, cramming their feet into their shoes. Tail hops onto their shoulder and they rush out the door.

The run to the base is long enough to falter into a jog, and eventually a walk, sprinkled with an absentminded cartwheel every so often as Hal wonders who Misty had asked to cut Aeryn’s hair. One of her cult friends, from that other dimension? Or maybe a Big Team member from before Hal and Aeryn had joined?

Finally, Hal arrives at the base, doing their customary front flip into the entryway. “Hey, Aer- uh, Mystic Radiance! I’m here!”

Aeryn freezes when Hal rushes in, stopping in her tracks where she was pacing laps around the room. Notably Aeryn, and not Mystic Radiance. Aeryn isn't sure that cutting her hair while transformed was possible, to be honest. It would probably just revert back to its original length the next time she transformed. After glancing nervously at Brenna - a very tall redhead who Misty had called for her, and who apparently used to be on the team - she lets out a nervous giggle. Brenna, for her part, gives Hal a confused smile and a wave, before continuing to set up a tarp and a chair.

"Sorry, uh just me. And Brenna. And GAIA. Probably. I don't actually know if they're always around..." Propelled forward by nearly visible nervous energy, Aeryn hurries to Hal and grabs their arm like she'd fall over without human contact. "Hi, Hal. Thanks for coming. Sorry it's so late."

“Uh, right, my friend Aeryn, don’t know how I’d confuse her for someone else.” They smile at Brenna, hoping that she won’t question the mistake. “Hey Brenna, I’m Hal – or Comet on the Big Team. And you’re Thor, right?”

Hal walks with Aeryn towards the chair. “So, what kind of haircut are you getting, anyway?” they ask.

Brenna nods at Hal and pats the backrest of the chair, "Yeah, that's me. Nice to meet you. I'm ready when you are." This last part is aimed at Aeryn.

Aeryn hesitates briefly when Hal starts walking, but nods firmly to herself, more like a general making a life and death decision than a teenager getting a haircut. "Short. Really short. Like, here," she makes a slicing motion at her ear.

Brenna nods, unsure of what exactly is going on but determined to be supportive. "Short hair is very cute, it'll look good on you."

Hal’s eyes widen slightly when Aeryn indicates the length that she wants. It’s shorter than they’d expected – but then again, Aeryn probably wouldn’t have asked for moral support if she was just getting a trim. “Hell yeah! You’re going to look great!”

They’re reminded of when they chopped off most of their hair, back when they were ten years old. Given the familiarity with which Brenna is holding the scissors, Aeryn is likely to get a much cleaner haircut than the one they’d given themself.

During her prep, Brenna had propped up a small mirror so Aeryn could see what was going on. She asks Aeryn some questions about what she wants, which Aeryn tentatively answers. Despite being firm that she's sure about this, Aeryn closes her eyes and reaches for Hal's hand when Brenna makes the first cut. Hal gives Aeryn’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

Brenna makes small talk as she works so it isn't quiet, talking about Bea's dogs, Freya's cats, and some exploits from her time on Big Team. Hal chimes in to talk about Tail, who is attempting to abscond with some of the cut strands of hair to make a nest. After what feels like an eternity to Aeryn, Brenna finally puts down the scissors and announces that she's done.

"Do you...wanna take a look?" Brenna asks gently.

Aeryn takes a deep breath, then opens her eyes. It's just a regular pixie cut, leaving her with some swooped bangs, but it's the best thing Aeryn has ever seen. She tilts her head to see it at more angles, and reaches up to touch it like she isn't sure it's real.

“Well? What do you think?” Hal prompts Aeryn. They think the new cut looks fantastic, but how Aeryn feels about it is more important.

"I like it," Aeryn says, choking up a little. "I really like it. Thanks Brenna."

Aeryn almost looks like she's gonna say something else, but tears start to leak out of her eyes, and she covers her face. "Sorry, I don't know why I'm doing this. I really do like it."

The appearance of tears catches Hal somewhat by surprise. Well, time to bring in the moral support. “Hey, it’s okay,” they say, giving Aeryn what they hope is a reassuring pat on the back. “Do you want to talk about it? Or should we give you some space?” they ask, looking awkwardly over at Brenna.

"No, I'm fine," Aeryn says, you know, like a liar.

Brenna looks like she is entirely unequipped for this turn of events, and gives Hal a thumbs up. "Ummmm. There are probably cupcakes in the kitchen. I can clean up."

Aeryn jumps up. "Great idea," and she rushes off.

"I uh, meant maybe the two of you should go…" Brenna says, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm sure she won't say what she needs to in front of me."

“Ah, right. Thanks for the help, see you Brenna!” Hal scoops up Tail on his way out, so that he won’t try and defend the scraps of hair he had gathered from Brenna’s cleaning.

“Hey, Aeryn,” Hal says once they reach the kitchen. “I know like, a haircut doesn’t necessarily have to be a big deal, but this seems like a pretty big deal to you? And like, I’ve done a big deal haircut before, although trust me, yours looks a lot better than mine turned out, but I’m just saying, if you did want to talk about it, maybe I’d get it?” Hal realizes that they’re rambling and stops themself so Aeryn can get a word in.

Aeryn is standing in front of the fridge, one hand on the handle. But instead of opening it, she's just staring at her blurry reflection in the stainless steel. Aside from jumping a little when Hal comes in, she doesn't acknowledge them. After a moment, she sighs and leans back against the fridge, sliding down it until she thumps onto the floor.

"Sami said that Mystic Radiance made her realize she was a girl. And that made me start to wonder what that even means. And I think I should be flattered, but it just felt wrong, you know? And then today, during the mission, I couldn’t transform because there was a crowd. But I did really well, and it felt great. And I thought, well what if I do something else crazy that I’ve wanted to do. But part of me was hoping I’d hate it, and then I’d know I definitely am a girl. Because if I’m not a girl, will my magic even work?" Aeryn’s voice breaks, and she pulls up her knees and rests her forehead on them.

Hal frowns sympathetically and crosses the kitchen to sit down next to Aeryn, setting Tail down on the other side of them. “It’s been a while, but I do remember back when people used to think I was a girl, and I knew I wasn’t, and that was frustrating.” Hence the dramatic haircut. “And then more recently… there was stuff that I wanted to do, and I felt like I couldn’t unless I was a boy. But then I talked with some people, like Misty and Randi, and they helped me figure out that I could just do what I wanted, even if I wasn’t a boy, or a girl, or whatever. And it makes sense because, like, the way that Misty does being a girl is really different from the way that Nat does being a girl, but they’re both still girls, you know? So just because Sami feels like something Mystic Radiance does makes Sami feel like a girl, doesn’t mean that you doing it has to make you feel like a girl. Or maybe you want to start doing things differently, and that’s okay too.”

“And yeah, it would really suck if your magic didn’t work just because you weren’t a girl, so hopefully that doesn’t happen, but if it does, we’ll figure it out! It sounds like you didn’t use your magic in the mission today and still did great. And I don’t ever have magic or powers or anything and I’m still making the whole superhero thing work.” Hal gives an encouraging smile.

Aeryn leans against Hal, smiling a little despite herself at the memory of the mission today. “I did use my magic. I wasn’t transformed, but I enchanted some candies to help get rid of the Dire’s influence on another derby team, and then on the crowd. I’ve never done magic without the transformation before.” The smile falters. “But that’s because the show of it all, the transformation, the frills, the poses, the sayings, those are all part of using the magic. And obviously I don’t have to do all of it all the time, but…if I stop altogether, I don’t know if it’ll work. The magic picked me to be a magical girl in a magical girl legacy. So what if it just leaves? Mystic Radiance is a hero, but Aeryn? I don’t think I could do what we do without my powers.”

“I didn’t even know you could do magic without the transformation! That’s a good sign, that you don’t have to be in full Mystic Radiance mode to do your magic. As for the other stuff…” Hal shrugs. “Maybe you can just give it a try? Like, I tried out he/him pronouns for a while, and they didn’t really work for me, but trying it out helped me figure that out. Might as well see how the magic responds, and then you’ll actually know, instead of guessing. What if you tried doing some magic now, just as Aeryn? Not how Mystic Radiance would do it, just your own way.” They scoot away slightly to give Aeryn some space, watching intently.

Aeryn bites her lip, hesitating. She wished she shared Hal’s optimism. If she ever had, she couldn’t remember. A thousand reasons not to try rip through her mind, but she also knows Hal would have a counter to every one of them, even if it was just what they already said. What if it had only worked because she was in close proximity to the Dire? What if it didn’t work because before the girl questioning was only something buried in her head and not something she’d ever said out loud? She watches as Tail stares down a dust bunny with the intensity of a Western movie standoff, and wishes her life was so simple.

"Fine," she sighs.

Hal grins and gives a firm nod. They pick up Tail and hold him in their lap so that he won’t disturb Aeryn’s concentration.

Adjusting her position so she's sitting cross-legged, Aeryn holds her hands cupped together, level with her heart. During the mission, using magic had been a spur of the moment decision, so she isn't sure how she'd done it. When she's transformed, it seems like the magic comes from the movements and the words. But what about before that? Aeryn searches for the parts of her that are there when she's transformed and when she's not. Mystic Radiance is confident and flashy, where Aeryn is unsure and prefers not to draw attention. But she always loves Randi and Hal. She always wants to protect people. She always loves feeling part of something important. She always wants to make Ethereal Brilliance proud. She loves rabbits, gymnastics, dance, and skating.

And there, somewhere in that, Aeryn finds the magic she'd been gifted. Purple light glows in her palms, and when it fades, a little star made of her glittery and purple magic rests in her hands.

"Oh," Aeryn whispers, and tears fill her eyes once again. "It worked."

“Hell yeah! You did it!” Hal throws their arms in the air triumphantly. Tail, sensing the excitement of the moment, lets out a high-pitched trill and begins running in circles across the kitchen floor.

“This definitely calls for celebratory cupcakes,” Hal declares. “Celebrating both your awesome new haircut and your magic experiment.” From their sitting position, they bend backwards into a bridge, and then kick their legs up into a handstand. After holding the handstand for a moment, they sweep their legs around to swing themself up into a standing position.

Aeryn laughs at Hal’s antics and stands with much less fanfare, clutching the star tight enough to dig into her skin, irrationally afraid that it might vanish. A fragile euphoria has nested in her chest, making her usual anxieties quieter than they have been in years. She steps out of the way for Hal to get the cupcakes, and holds the star up to the light.

“My magic,” she whispers up to it, feeling an ownership of her magic she hadn’t before.

The star starts to glow. For a moment, Aeryn thinks the light is hitting it just right, but it quickly gets too bright to look at. She yelps and drops the star. Just before it hits the ground, it stops, hovering a foot or so off the ground. In a swirl of sparkles and purple light almost identical to Aeryn’s transformation into Mystic Radiance, a rabbit appears. It has dark purple fur that glitters in unfamiliar constellations as it catches the light, and the shape of the star Aeryn made is silver on its forehead. And then she notices…

“Oh my gosh it has horns. Jackalopes are real. Randi owes me a million dollars.”

The purple jackalope looks up at Aeryn expectantly, rubbing its nose with its front paws.

“Woah!” Hal hurries to Aeryn’s side, squatting down to get a better look at the jackalope. “Did your magic make this? That’s even cooler! Does this mean you have a pet now?” They move their head from side to side, watching the constellations on the fur sparkle.

Tail scrabbles his way over to the new creature, sniffing it curiously.

“Tail, be nice,” Hal warns, as if that phrase had ever prevented Tail from pestering dogs at the dog park (or, as Hal and Randi referred to it, the raptor park).

“Yeah,” Aeryn says, sounding shocked. “My magic made him. Ethereal Brilliance said something about how sometimes people in the legacy get magical familiars but…”

Aeryn trails off, not really sure what she’d been intending to say. She watches Tail, worried that he might — however unintentionally — hurt the jackalope. Raptors are predators, after all. He sniffs the jackalope, who tilts its head and sniffs back. After a moment of what seemed to Aeryn like friendly figuring each other out, the jackalope jumps back and swats at Tail with his horns, placing himself firmly between the raptor and Aeryn.

“Altair, no!” Aeryn yelps, and quickly picks up the rabbit. “I’m so sorry, Hal.”

The jackalope, for his part, does not look sorry at all and glares at both Tail and Hal.

Tail jumps back upon suddenly being swiped at. After a moment of shock, he fluffs up his feathers to look bigger and starts hissing at the jackalope. Hal hurriedly picks up Tail as well, attempting to distract him with a strip of dried meat. Tail tears into the meat, returning the jackalope’s glare.

“It’s alright, Tail’s fine. He’s not always the best around other pets,” Hal explains. They tip their head to the side. “Did you call it Altair? Came up with a name really fast there! It fits well, though.”

“This one wasn’t Tail’s fault,” Aeryn says, then frowns. “Altair? Oh, yeah. I didn’t come up with it, exactly? I just kinda, know it’s his name? I don’t know how.”

Aeryn shrugs and holds up the rabbit in front of her face. “Are you grumpy because Tail scares you, or are you just mean?”

Altair boops his nose against Aeryn’s, the picture of friendliness, but ruins it by shooting a glare back at Hal and Tail.

“I guess you were just…born?” Aeryn sighs, deciding that figuring out if “born” or “made” or something else was the correct term wasn't worth the effort right now. “But listen, this is Hal and Tail. They’re friends.”

Altair appears unmoved.

“A magic name too, huh? That’s neat. And yeah, don’t worry Altair, we’re friends. I’d warn about Tail being bitey, but it seems like you can defend yourself from him fine.” Hal reaches for another of Tail’s treats, hoping to bribe their way onto Altair’s good side, but hesitates when they realize that a rabbit crossed with an antelope or deer or whatever would probably still be vegetarian. They fish through another couple of pockets and manage to find a few freeze-dried apple slices.

Hal holds one of the slices out towards Altair, making sure it’s out of range of Tail. “Do you want a snack?”

Altair doesn’t move at first. He gazes intently at Hal, then at the apple, then at Hal again.

“It’s okay,” Aeryn says gently. “Hal’s a friend.”

One purple ear twitches, showing he heard Aeryn. Altair stretches his head out and snaps up the apple, pulling back just as quickly and holding it between his paws as he takes a bite. Aeryn sighs in relief.

“Well, this was not how I was expecting today to go. Any of it,” she says, laughing a little as she leans back against the counter.

“Seems like it went better than you could have expected!” Hal says. They open up the fridge and pull out a pair of cupcakes, passing one to Aeryn.

Just as they take a huge bite of their cupcake, a thought seems to strike Hal, but they have to spend a few moments chewing before they’re able to speak. “Oh, since you were saying earlier that you aren’t really feeling like a girl, is there anything else you wanted to try out? Like names, or pronouns, or you’d probably fit in a bunch of my clothes.”

Aeryn picks a few sprinkles off of her cupcake and eats them as she considers. Altair jumps on the counter so he can butt in to lick the frosting from her fingers, but she holds the actual cupcake above his head so he can't get to it.

"I don't know. I definitely don't think I want a new name. Pronouns...are a lot to think about." Aeryn takes a swipe of frosting from the cupcake, almost eating it before giving in to Altair's pleading eyes and letting him eat it instead. "But I think...if you're okay with it...going through your clothes to see if anything feels right...would be nice."

“That’s fair, names are hard. Pronouns too.” Hal polishes off their cupcake in a few more large bites. “Oh right, I’ve been meaning to ask, but kept forgetting – Did you come up with the name Mystic Radiance? Or did Ethereal Brilliance? Or did it just come with the magic, like Altair’s name? Comet’s supposed to kinda be a pun — you know, Halley’s Comet? But most people don’t know that my whole first name is Halley, so I think that part gets a bit lost. Maybe I’ll change it if I think of something better.” They shrug.

“And yeah, you can definitely try on my clothes! Although probably another day would be better. I think Maddie might be upset if I staged a makeover montage in our bedroom this late at night.” Hal says.

Aeryn grins at the thought of making an even bigger mess of Hal and Maddie’s room. “I dunno, Maddie might be more forgiving if she knows it’s for me.” Aeryn yawns, calling her own bluff. “But yeah, it’s late. Thanks again, for coming here. I don’t think I would have had the courage to do this if I was alone, or if I waited until tomorrow.”

“As for my hero name…” Aeryn feeds Altair another dollop of frosting. Twenty minutes old and he already had her in his pocket. “It just came to me after the first time I was able to transform. I’m not sure if it was a result of all the brainstorming I’d done beforehand or if the magic picked it. But it felt right, so I guess I’ve never questioned it.”

“Well, Mystic Radiance is a pretty great superhero name, so either way it worked out. And I’m glad I was able to help with the haircut and all!” Hal deposits Tail onto the floor, and then wraps their arms around Aeryn in a huge hug. “I’m really glad you came back to Halcyon. Even if it was because of magical destiny reasons. I missed you.”

Aeryn hugs back tightly, leaving the rest of her cupcake on the counter for Altair. “I missed you, too. I didn’t know how much I missed this until I had all of you back.”

There was a lot more that Aeryn felt like she should say, but her emotions were running wild and if she tried, she’d start crying and ruin the moment. She was too tired to figure out how to say what she wanted, anyways. It had been a very long day. But she tried to shove those emotions into the hug, like all her love and gratitude for her friend could be absorbed via hug osmosis. She’d discovered a lot of things about herself since coming back to Halcyon, and a big one was that she didn’t like feeling alone. And now she didn’t have to be.