Cards and Cretins

Written by
 Directed by

**Robot Peashooter: Cards and Cretins** is the 8th episode of Robot Peashooter. It aired on Feburary 13, 2017.

## Synopsis

Pokémon cards, Trains, and McDonalds. What's not to see in this episode?

## Plot

Ducktube appears and says to ask about "Mustache move." Fume Shroom appears and does so, and Ducktube says "mustache" and it suddenly appears on him. Dark Star then appears, saying he too wants a mustache. Ducktube says "mustache" and in a few minutes, one appears on his head like eyebrows, causing him to faint.

Peashooter & Kernel-pult are hanging out with Mac, and the former asks him what it's like to have arms. Mac replies "it's pretty *handy*" and accidentally knocks Peashooter over. Coney then shows up to admire the arms, with Mac knocking him aside, saying "talk to the hand."

Citron corners Norm and tells him there's nowhere to run. However, before he can do anything, an offscreen voice tells him "hands off my prey!" and takes Norm away.

Slim is grabbed by something.

Arnold grabs a toy train caboose, saying he will teach it how to say "choo choo." He then begins to ride it, until Sprinter collides with it, then says "I win."

Bolbi is hanging out with the other imp, saying he is his best friend, when the Imp is then squashed by an incoming Dolan.

Sprinter, Ra, Lobber, Arnold, Jedediah & Pete are around, and Sprinter claims to be the ugliest of them. Jed replies he thought Pete was, since he is green. Lobber then claims he is, but Head Zombie appears, asking if they've seen Dr. Zomboss without his makeup. Zomboss (represented by his official plush) then appears for the meeting, scaring the others.

Citron is seen in a widescreen shot, decrying the "stupid phone angles."

A nerdy guy approaches Peashooter about if they are hiring, and he admits they are, but starts talking in gibberish. The nerdy guy then asks if anyone speaks English and Citron reveals he can. The man asks about pistachios, and Citron asks if he works there, and, when finding out he doesn't, sends him away. The man then encounters Norm and asks about their hiring, but Norm simply attacks him and eats his brain.

Guitar Guy appears, saying "next stop the roof." After him, Mac notes that "fog levels are stupid" while Citron questions about the fog levels, since there have only been three of them. Peashooter replies that proves they are stupid, then Chomper suggests they just go. Behind him, Double can be seen and says "all data has been copied."

Dolan appears in a room saying "why we won't do *Plants vs. Zombies Heroes."* It then cuts to outside, where Coney, Hambone, Norm & Wilhelm are playing with Pokémon cards. The four play the game aggressively (with Hambone playing a Bowser Jr. card at one point, even though that's cheating, as Norm points out) and one of Coney's cards somehow actually takes out Wilhelm. Coney eventually plays several cards, including an original Charizard, that takes out Hambone's deck, and the cowboy himself. Lobber then shows up, having found his package that was lost in shipping, and asks what they are doing. Norm explains the game to him and Lobber says he can get into it and decides to play. Meanwhile, Spellslamzer is shown watching on from a bush, and approaches the zombies, scaring them, and revealing himself as the one who set up the slot machine. Lobber throws his package at him, but the wizard explains it has no effect on him and throws it back, sending Lobber flying. A scared Norm says he has their attention, and Spellslamzer reveals he only wishes to cause mischief, and uses his powers to bring the cards to life, sending the zombies running. Elsewhere, the Painter appears and reveals the zombies then fought the Pokémon, creating "*Pokémon Heroes*, if you will," and laughs.

Later, Coney finds a Slowpoke and finds it stupid, saying he loves it.

Head Zombie is out looking for Pokémon, while the Garchamp brothers are nearby, with one commenting on how they've had to "work on flipping gardens" since Old King Cole was sent into space. Seeing Head Zombie, the other declares him "the zombie we used to work for," and they attack him, but Head Zombie does a flip, causing them to both collide with a bush.

Ed claims he can't capture anything, as whatever he touches explodes into a pile of pudding. However, he notices Charizard nearby and begins to approach it, saying he thought he was in China saying "kaiete" and adding he doesn't know what that means, but it sounds important. Ed approaches the Pokémon and yells the word at him, and he believes he is one of his fans and wants an autograph. Ed explains he wants him for his team and asks if he'll come with him, with Charizard agreeing, since he likes his enthusiasm (and for quoting one of his lines when he was giant) and they leave together, with Ed declaring himself "the king of everything!"

Coney is hungry and wants food, and asks Zomboss for some brains, but he refuses, noting Coney is an idiot, and he will give him brains if he actually gets any of them. Coney leaves, grumbling and decides to go to McDonald's ("good thing I stole this car"). Coney gets into the driver's seat and sets the music (playing his "Battle Coney" theme and noting his appearance on the dashboard) then drives to McDonald's at night. He goes to the drive-thru and sings his order for Cory, the server, and is surprised he heard his entire order, noting that "usually they screw up, so this is impressive." After getting his food, Coney eats it in the car.

Yeti is seen yodeling.

Garlic Drone, Apple Bomb & Marigold wonder why they never appear on the show, and Bloomerang appears, saying it's because they are worthless, then knocks each of them aside, saying "die" for each one.

Peashooter freaks out or something.

Dr. Zomboss shows off his new attack- the wrench, and hits Gatling Pea with it. Gatling Pea retaliates with his new attack, "the bodyslam," and sends Zomboss into Head Zombie.

Peashooter calls for Potato Mine, and he crashes into Steven.

Kernel-pult talks with a Blover and asks if he can fly. Blover claims he can and attempts to demonstrate, but is unable to, with Kernel-pult then claiming he fooled him, since he knew he couldn't fly, and kicks him aside.

Someone tells a shark to get out of there. Zombotany 2 then is seen riding the shark, but Zombotany 1 explains they are not having a beach-themed episode, or the title would have to be changed and the YouTube commenters would be upset (represented by Squash) with Zombotany 2 insulting him.

Super Brainz is here to say no math book stands a chance against knowledge.

On a table, Zomboss is repeatedly poked with a fork, and says "stick a fork in me, I'm done."

## Characters

### Plants

* Peashooter
* Mac
* Citron
* Chomper
* Kernel-pult
* Squash
* Dolan
* Gatling Pea
* Bloomerang
* Blover
* Fume Shroom
* Potato Mine
* Garlic Drone
* Apple Bomb (no lines)
* Marigold (no lines)

### Zombies

* Dr. Zomboss
* Head Zombie
* Coney
* Ed
* Hambone
* Norm
* Ducktube
* Lobber
* Arnold
* Sprinter
* Jedediah
* Pete
* Slim
* Zombotany 1
* Zombotany 2
* Wilhelm
* Steven
* Guitar Guy
* Bolbi
* Super Brainz
* Yeti
* Ra (no lines)
* Imp #1 (no lines)

### Others

* Dark Star
* Spellslamzer
* Nerdy Guy
* Painter Boss
* Slowpoke
* Garchomp Brothers
* Charizard

## Trivia

* This is one of the few episodes to have a slightly ongoing plot, revolving around the zombies catching Pokémon from an earlier sketch.
* It was not revealed what the thing was that saw Norm as its' "prey."