Gipsy Danger vs Shogun Executioner

Pacific Rim vs Red Alert 3! Which metallic titan will take this grind of clashing steel?

## Gipsy Danger

(Cue MOKU- Pacific Rim Uprising Trailer Theme Recreation)

EP: Alien invasions. One of humanity's deepest fears. The thought of everything that we've built becoming a playground for otherworldly monsters dropping from outer space is terrifying, but, that's exactly what happened.

Fushidara: Just not in the way you thought it would. One day, a giant godzilla monster-thing went and annihilated San Francisco. This thing.... did not come from outer space, but rose from the pacific ocean like Godzilla.

EP: Six days it took to bring the beast down, as it destroyed three cities. And then another one came, and another. One disaster after another. Then, humanity knew, something had to change.

Fushidara: Nations all around the globe pooled it's resources together, conflicts stopped. They knew, that if they had to repel the Kaiju threat, they would have to band together. Nations that pointed guns at each other only days before were now working side by side.

EP: And what was earth's solution to this? Giant fucking robots!

(Cue Pacific Rim OST - Main theme)

Fushidara: By some extreme stroke of luck with a dash of pure bullshit, this....worked! Jaegers pushed back kaijus left and right, the kaiju "threat" practically became a joke, and the pilots were regarded as national heroes.

EP: One of said pilots was a young Raleigh Becket, who piloted the american-built Mark 3 Jaeger, Gipsy Danger. A sexy 80 meter tall, 1980 ton, nuclear powered war machine..... Ahhhhh..... Waifu material....right there.....

Fushidara: Stop drooling!

EP: Ah! Wha!?

Fushidara: Ugh....gunfucker.... Anyhoo, as EP just said, Gipsy runs on it's own Nuclear Reactor. This allows it to stay in combat for an extended period of time without having to refuel, as well as being able to function following a blast form an EMP.

EP: Gipsy's movements are completely controlled by it's operators' motions and brain waves. While in the beginning, a single human mind proved incapable of drifting, this problem was soon remedied by placing 2 pilots into the comm pod. Gipsy was originally piloted by Raleigh and his older brother Yancy.... buuuut....

*Knifehead rips Yancy out of Gipsy's comm pod, killing him*

EP: .....Yeah...

Fushidara: Thankfully, after spending a few years in retirement/depression, he was brought to the Hong Kong shatterdome, where he met his new partner/future girlfriend, Mako Mori. Along with an repaired and upgraded Gipsy Danger.

EP: Gipsy comes with an assortment of deadly weapons. Including a heavy rapid-fire plasma cannon, liquid nitrogen coolant, which can be used to freeze shit in a tight pinch, rocket boosters, elbow rockets to enhance her punches, an Iron-man style reactor unibeam, and even a giant chainsword that comes out of her arm.... Ahh...

Fushidara: Ummm......anyways.... Gipsy has successfully taken down 9 kaiju in her career. She's survived falling from outer space, and atmospheric re-entry, Tanked a tsunami caused by a nuke, and managed to kill the largest kaiju that was ever sent to earth while missing an arm and on the brink of nuclear meltdown.

EP: Alas, the fair maiden was forced to make the ultimate sacrifice, detonating her nuclear reactor to collapse the breach, once and for all..... So sad..... *sniff*

Raleigh: I think this guy's dead, but let's check for a pulse.

Mako: Okay

*Gipsy unloads the entire plasma cannon clip into Leatherback's corpse.*

Raleigh: ....No pulse.

## Shogun Executioner

(Cue Red Alert 3 OST- Time Machine)

EP: The year is 1972. After a massive war and an uneasy peace treaty. The Soviet union and the allied forces broke out into war once again. This time, the USSR, thanks to the allies' superior technology, was at it's knees and it's downfall was imminent.

Fushidara: However, the head of the Russian military, Senior officer Anatoly Cherdenko developped a secret project to be unleashed in an absolute last-resort scenario. He had the top soviet scientists create a time machine and turn the tide of the war by removing the one man responsible for the Allies' technological superiority, Albert Einstein. One day during a conference in Brussels, 1929, Einstein disappeared from the world. They returned to the present where everything seemed in place. The plan seemingly went all according to plan. Cherdenko was head of state, the allies were on the run, and Soviet superiority seemed infallible. However, little did they know, this plan had unforseen consequences.

*"THEY'RE ATTACKING!!! THERE ARE TOO MANY!!! WE HAVE TO EVACUATE!!!"*

- Commander Nikolai Moskvin

*"The Imperial war machine has been unleashed. Do not struggle against what is inevitable. All who stand in the way of our divine destiny will be swept away by the march of history."*

-Emporer Yoshiro

EP: See, without Einstein, there would be no nukes deployed on Japan and their Imperial regime would have stood unchallenged. Although the historical inaccuracy of this is downright offensive, the Japanese began invading Soviet and allies alike with their highly advanced nanotechnology and the belief that they were destined for global conquest.

Fushidara: And their magnum opus during the attack on Soviet Russia, was a 3-headed, 3 legged monstrosity known as the Shogun Executioner.

(Red Alert 3 OST- Enter the Shogun Executioner)

EP: With it's 3 giant beam katanas, the beast was instrumental in the bringing down of the USSR. Designed by Japan's own crown prince, the Shogun was able to contend with Russia's deadliest superweapons. including the v4, a missile launcher that can level entire city locks with a single launch, and the Vacuum Imploder, which is capable of wiping out an entire miliray base in one sweep.

Fushidara: It managed to wipe out the entirety of Odessa and Moskow in mere minutes, leaving nothing but death and destruction in it's wake.

EP: Also, any electrical energy directed at it will repair it. and it will charge up it's most devastating attack, the Omega Shockwave, an electric current strong enough to level everything around it for hundreds of meters around.

Fushidara: Unfortunately, the Shogun is not unstoppable, it has no real counter to air power, and enough firepower could burst it down.

EP: But still, do not underestimate the mechanical monstrosity of the empire, Cherdenko learned that the hard way.

*The Shogun Executioner rises out of the warehouse in Odessa, as hundreds of civilians run for their lives.*

## A Titanic Titanium struggle! - FIGHT!

*San Francisco, California*

It was just another day... the Kaiju threat had seemed to be quelled inexplicably. Business as usual, not like anything *else* was going to invade the US coming out of the sea.....

(Cue Red Alert 3 OST- Might of the Empire)

However, suddenly, a rumbling could be heard coming out of a nearby warehouse. People looked in curiosity, before scattering in fear. Small yellow hovercraft dashed out of the warehouse into the sea, as the warehouse was then destroyed, and out came a yellow mechanical monstrosity: The Shogun Executioner.

The Shogun roared, as it began to march inwards towards the city, however, the Pan Pacific Defence Corps got word of this.

*12:00, a mere 5 minutes after the Shogun's arrival.*

(Cue Pacific Rim OST- Main Theme)

Gipsy Danger arrived, carried by transport helicopters, dropping into the sea off the coast of San Francisco. It rapidly went inwards towards the city, before it met it's target.

Inside the comm pod, Gipsy's pilots, Raleigh and Mako, stared down the might saint of swords, stunned.

Raleigh: Well, you ready? Mako?

Mako nods, Gipsy assumed a fighting stance.

### An old score of iron and blood! Engage!

Gipsy made the first move, running towards the Shogun and punching on of it's heads in the face. Shogun swung one of it's blades in retaliation, but Gipsy caught it in it's hand, then headbutted the Shogun, causing it to stumble backwards, it's 2 rear legs digging into the concrete as it's body rotated for another body it strike Gipsy. It swung it's sword to the side, however, Gipsy managed to grab a hold it it's arm before the swing could connect, before then grabbing the Shogun by the face and slamming it into a skyscraper, shattering windows and sending debris flying onto the streets below. Shogun, however, tore through the building like it was nothing, planting a foot in the building, it swung one of it's beam katanas at Gipsy, the blade clashing against her hull and sending sparks flying like wildfire. Gipsy responded, tackling the Shogun through the building before sending it reeling back with a hard elbow.

Raleigh: Plasma Cannon!

Gipsy's arm then turned into a 3-pronged plasma cannon which glowed blue and radiated electricity. It briefly charged up a shot, before madly firing shot after shot at the Shogun. The plasma shots slamming into the metal behemoth's face, scraping off paint and denting it's mask. It gave off a metallic grunt, before gripping it's swords and spinning around beyblade-style as a sort of taunt. Gypsy ran forward at full speed, as the Shogun waited in anticipation. It swung it's massive beam katana when Gipsy came in range. But Gipsy ducked under it like a pro boxer, before delivering a hard right uppercut to the Shogun's chest, followed by a left jab, smashing into Shogun with a loud bang. Finishing the combo with a massive uppercut that dented the Shogun's armour.

The metal saint of swords stumbled back, reeling from the impact, but using the momentum, it came back down with a hard swing of it's sword. Gipsy raised her arms to block the strike, but the blade began to dent, bend, and even cut through the plating. Gipsy, however, then pushed backwards, lifting the blade off of her before grabbing Shogun and charging forward, slamming it into buildings and bridges, before throwing it over her shoulder, smashing it into the ground. Gipsy began to walk off, seeming victorious, but.....

A metallic roar was heard from the Shogun, it lifted it's legs off of the ground, and raised all three of it's blades. Raleigh turned to face it in surprise.

Raleigh: So.... it still isn't dead...huh?

The Shogun Executioners blades were all lifted high into the air, Raleigh looked in confusion, as the Shogun suddenly stabbed them all into the ground, creating a massive electrical shockwave that ran along the ground. Slamming into Gipsy as she raised her arms to block the impact with the electric blast.

The Omega Shockwave caused sparks to fly in Gipsy's comm pod, as her power briefly went out. The Shogun Executioner began to menacingly march it's way towards the downed Gipsy, each step growing louder and shaking the earth.

(Cue Red Alert 3 OST- Mecha Storm)

Raleigh: Dammit! Power's out! Rebooting the nuclear reactor!

As Raleigh scrambled to reboot the reactor, the Shogun marched closer by the second, 150 meters....

S*tomp*

100 meters.....

**Stomp**

50 meters.....

***Stomp!***

That's when the lights suddenly lit up inside Gipsy's comm pod. Her chest reactor flared up with a bright orange glow. She arose, delivering a swift uppercut to the Shogun, before lifting her other arm, suspending it in the air.

Raleigh: Elbow Rocket!

Gipsy's elbow suddenly burst into flame as it propelled itself forward, smashing into the Shogun's already-damaged torso, knocking off the armour plating beneath. The Shogun's arms gave way, as Gipsy suddenly fired up the rocket boosters on her back, flying her way towards the Shogun at blazing speeds. Slamming into the Shogun and carrying it towards the sea, Gipsy then let go, as the Shogun went flying into the sea like an oversized frisbee, causing a massive splash that pelted even Gipsy on shore. Despite the impact, the Japanese war machine still got up, and if machines had emotions, it would be *very* unhappy. Shogun pointed a katana at Gipsy in a low stance, before gesturing at it to come into the water.

Raleigh: I think this thing wants a sword duel.

Mako: Then we give him one!

Gipsy began to slowly walk into the water, a bladed chain popped out of her left arm, before the links popped into place, forming the chain sword. The Shogun readied it's blade, as Gipsy ran right in. The Shogun swung, but the blade was stopped by Gipsy's chain sword. Gypsy came in with another punch to the Shogun's face, then an elbow. The Mark 3 Jaeger slammed over and over into the Shogun's body, sendling sparks and damaged metal flying all over the sea. But the Shogun would not budge, pushing back with a hard shove that threw Gipsy into the water. The Shogun raised one of it's beam katanas, ready to stab at Gipsy and end her once and of all, but Gipsy moved with haste, getting up, and slashing at the Shogun's chest with a swing from it's chain sword, leaving behind a huge gash. After a brief stumbled backwards, the Shogun then suddenly changed it's grip, and stabbed itself into Gipsy's side.

Gipsy was pinned, immobile, helpless, Raleigh and Mako scrambled, unable to decide what to do, when Raleigh remembered something.

Raleigh: Mako! Release the coolant!

Mako: Understood!

Suddenly, a torrent of cold gas erupted from Gipsy's shoulder, and the Shogun's arm movement began to slow. Before long, the Shogun's arm was frozen solid. And it ceased moving altogether. With a hard push, the entire thing snapped right off like a cheeto. The massive blade crashed into the waves below as the Shogun backed off, turning to another one of it's bodies. Gipsy wasted no time, grabbing the katana out of the water and pointing it at the Shogun in a kendo stance.

Gipsy was the first to swing, but it ended up being blocked by the Shogun's own beam Katana. The Shogun then swung back. Only to have the swing deflected upwards by Gipsy's blade. The blades clashed again, with each swing, the water was lit by sparks, every clash was a scar. The two titanic mechs continues clashing blades, until the Shogun Executioner went in with a stab. Gipsy dodged to the side, avoiding the attack. As it then closed in, Impaling the Shogun Executioner with her katana and grabbing hold of it.

Raleigh: Heat Shaft Purge! Now!

(Music stop)

Gipsy's chest reactor then erupted with an intense pillar of flame that went directly into the Shogun's chest. Metal was melted, as the Shogun still struggled to strike back and resist. It was pushed back, again and again, before finally having an opportunity.

(Pacific Rim OST- The Breach)

With a desperate swing, the Shogun swing right at Gipsy's right shoulder, hitting it with enough force to cleanly sever it like a hot knife through butter. the massive metal limb crashed below the waves, as Shogun made a final advance, plunging the beam katana right into Gipsy's chest.

Gipsy, however, activated her left arm cannon, slamming into the Shogun with plasma shot after plasma shot, the Shogun gave another loud metallic roar, almost as if it were crying in agony, but it kept trying to pull the katana out in sort of a sawing motion, with each movement causing fire and metal to spill from Gipsy's torso.

Inside the cockpit, Raleigh and Mako knew what was going to happen.

Raleigh: Get into the escape pod! I'm triggering the meltdown!

Mako did so with haste, as Raleigh stayed behind, wildly scrambling to push at some buttons.

*Reactor meltdown initiated, T-minus 60 seconds.*

An escape pod was launched out of Gipsy's comm pod, then there was another, both were ejected far away to god-knows where, but far away from San Francisco. Gipsy's chest reactor began to spout fire, as the Shogun Executioner scrambled to get the unmanned Jaeger off of it, it swung it's katana in hopes of getting the metal titan off of it, to no avail. Gipsy's reactor was now glowing a bright blue, waves of energy pulsed out from her core. The Shogun Executioner took one last look at the Jaeger, giving a final defiant screech before....

***BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!***

A massive mushroom cloud erupted over San Francisco. the shockwave could be felt for miles around. Even where the escape pods landed, miles away in a desert in the middle of nowhere, the blast could be felt. Scattering sand over the still-closed pods.

San Francisco lay in ruins, the entire city was leveled and charred following the detonation. Nothing remained, except for two massive metal carcasses. The remnants of Gipsy's Comm pod was against a beach, the glass broken, and the metal framework broken and burnt black.

In the middle of the ocean stood what little remained of the pride of the Japanese army. It was reduced to no more than mere masks and scrap at the bottom of the ocean. The only things that stuck out of the waves were it's katanas, which were planted into the sea floor.

**CATASTROPHIC KO!**

## Results

EP: That was some episode of Battlebots!

Fushidara: This is was closest battle to date. The Shogun far outclasses Gipsy in attack strength, being able to level the entire city of Moskow in 15 minutes, but Gipsy held her fair share of advantages as well.

EP: Gipsy's tanked a nuke, then a tsunami barely unscathed, easily outclassing anything the Shogun had to face, as well as having a massive advantage in mobility and arsenal. However, it had one fatal flaw. gipsy is not designed for combat against other machines, which makes it severely hindered, as most of it's weaponry was designed to take on biological threats.

Fushidara: However, Gipsy is piloted by 2 *humans*, where as the Shogun is....presumably piloted by an AI. Therefore, Raleigh and Mako could come up with a multitude of strategies to take it down, but it wasn't enough to handle the sheer destructive force of Shogun.

EP: Stripped down to her last options, Gipsy had no choice but to use the Reactor Meltdown. A blast that the Shogun would not have been able to survive, especially with prior weakening. Either way, this fight was a *blast*. Speakin-a which

Fushi: This battle is a draw.

## Next Time!

(Opening riff of TF2 OST- Drunken Pipe-bomb)

What makes *me*, a good Demoman?

If I were a bad demoman, I wouldn't be sittin here, discussin it with ya now would I!

It's a perfect day for some meyhem!

(Cue TF2 OST- Main theme outro)

Demoman outruns his sticky trap, as Junkrat unleashes his Rip-Tire

Junkrat: I love it when that happens!

**Demoman vs Junkrat!**