Google Translate

Google translate can make life interesting.

Technology, you love it and hate it. But what happens when you have to use it to communicate with someone you love? Watch as Jason tries to win the woman of his dreams using the internet.

## Transcript

JASON'S BEDROOM:

Matt: Hey, you look happy. What's up?
Jason: I have a girlfriend.
Matt: Really? Congratulations. Where did you two meet?
Jason: Well, we haven't met in person, but we've been chatting online.
Matt: Congratulations less.
Jason: Oh, pish posh.
Matt: Ever since you got a girlfriend, you talk a lot more like a sixty-year-old British woman.
Jason: Matt, this girl is amazing. She's from this small town in Estonia, so whatever I write, I have to put into Google Translator, but we're so in love.
Matt: Google Translator? That thing can mess stuff up pretty badly sometimes… What on earth is that language?!
Jason: It's Nordic backwards Latvian schlang.
Matt: That sounds made up.
Jason: 27 people speak it Matt, it's actually quite common.

Jason: She's a beautiful girl, and it's a beautiful language. There she is. Hel Gegatha.
Matt: Oh, she looks very… agricultural.
Jason: That's what I like about her most. And today I tell her I want to meet in person.
Matt: It's a big day.
Jason: Yes.

Jason: "I love you so much, my darling. You are beautiful like the sea and amazing as the stars. I'm so glad I found you."
Matt: Eugh. My brain just vomited.
Jason: Shut up, Matt. You don't understand love, it's complicated.

AGRICULTURAL BEDROOM:

Mallory: Oh!

*I have so many love for you, darling. You are amazing and pretty as fireballs. I am happy I looked you.*

Mallory: Ooh! (speaks in a 'foreign' language)

JASON'S BEDROOM:

*I love you, Jason. So many, so many. I would want you to marry.*

Jason: Oh my goodness, she wants to marry me!
Matt: Yeah, it might not be the greatest idea.
Jason: Oh, tea and crumpets!
Matt: Ah, there's that old British woman again. Listen, you need to meet this girl in person, before you get involved in something crazy with someone you met online. I mean, she could be a total psychopath, or a 900-year-old man… She could be taller than you!
Jason: No! Don't you even say that! But you're right, we should meet before we make plans.
Matt: Thank you.
Jason: "I'm ecstatic at your offer, but I think we should meet face-to-face before we make any plans. What's your address? I will book a flight and come find you as soon as I can."

AGRICULTURAL BEDROOM:

*My love, I am happy at you, but I thought our face and face should meet before we make plans. What your address? I will Bible a flight and come look at you as soon as I can.*

Mallory: Ooh! Ooh! Mammy! Mammy!
Whitney: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Mallory: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Whitney: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Adam: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Whitney: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Mallory: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)

JASON'S BEDROOM:

*I live in only cottage on Hoghill Mountain in Peske, Estonia. Is two-day climb, and our heels are infested with werewolf monkeys.*

Jason: I can't believe I'm doing this!
Matt: What? You're gonna do this?! What about the werewolf monkeys?

*Rabid monkeys.*

Matt: I guess that's better.
Jason: "I'm so happy. I hope to impress your family when I come to your house, so that I can marry you, Hel Gegatha."

AGRICULTURAL BEDROOM:

Mallory: Oh!

*I am so happy. I hope to come to your home and murder your family, so that I can marriage you, Hel Gegatha.*

Whitney: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Adam: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Mallory: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Whitney: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)

JASON'S BEDROOM:

*Please, don't hurt me.*

Jason: Aw, she's afraid of getting hurt! It's so sweet and tender!
Matt: I guess that is pretty sweet. Okay, she's growing on me.
Jason: "I'm scared too, but I promise I won't hurt you. I stick to my guns."

AGRICULTURAL BEDROOM:

*Fear also, it will not hurt. I stick with guns.*

Whitney: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Adam: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Mallory: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)

Mallory: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Stacey: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
James: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Stephen: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Adam: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
James: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)
Adam: (speaks in a 'foreign' language)

JASON'S BEDROOM:

Jason: Hm, she hasn't responded back yet. Maybe she had to do some farmwork. I'll just sign off really quick: "My heart bleeds, bleeds, bleeds without you."

AGRICULTURAL BEDROOM:

*Blood, blood, blood, your organs.*

Cast: (screams)

JASON'S BEDROOM:

Matt: You know, you should bring her family something nice when you come.
Jason: Yeah, how about a nice set of goats?
Matt: Oh, that's nice.
Jason: Yeah.

## Trivia

* This sketch is based on a true story, after Mallory Everton had trouble communicating with another tourist when she was on holiday in London.
* This sketch is also known as "Google Translator".
* This sketch was uploaded on the same day as the episode aired on BYUtv.
* Natalie Madsen is the only Cast member who does not appear in this sketch.
* Stacey Harkey is not credited, but he does appear in this sketch.
* This is the 25th sketch to be directed by Julian Riley.
* This is the twentieth sketch to feature Jason Gray and the tenth sketch to feature Stacey Harkey, despite him not being credited for two of those.
* This is the second sketch in a row to be written by Mallory Everton.
* This is the longest sketch of Season 1 Episode 5, based on duration.
* This sketch was also featured in the special Season 1 Favorites.
* This is the second sketch in a row to use multiple locations, after Everything Sounds Nicer.