Alexander Conrad Simpson

### Relatives

Father: Father Simpson. Mother: Unknown Mother. Brothers: Charlie Simpson, Julianpod Simpson, Craig Ronald Simpson. Nephew: Charles J. Simpson. Cousins: Hemppa Simpson, Don Müsli, Wilhelm Simpsohn. Distant Relatives: Elder Simpson, Goofball Simpson, Gareth Bartholomy Simpson

## Physical description

### Species

Unknown

**Alexander Conrad Simpson** Is a core member of the Simpson family, being the head of the Simpson Family Council and co-founder alongside his brother. Born on the 14th of August 1962 to Father Simpson and an unknown mother, **Alexander Conrad Simpson** spent most of his young life befriending frogs at this local school. **Alexander** was born in the village of Ainsworth and active in the Ainsworth and Bury regions of Greater Manchester, though he is also known to have been spotted in Bolton. His species is up for speculation, his mother's species is entirely unknown, while his father's genealogy is only partially known and poorly understood. It is possible that **Alexander Conrad Simpson**, and all Simpsons for that matter, are all normal humans, however their actions, physical characteristics and other factors point to an esoteric origin for the Simpson family.

A known oil baron and steeplejack, his professions are a significant contrast to each other, though he simply works his trades which others have commented upon his mastery of. In 2020 he became a taste tester and chemical tester at the local cat shelter. Alexander can be seen in the town of bury partaking in freestyle rap as he takes large doses of zloppis. He has been known to intake copious amounts of zloppis for recreational use, whether this damages his health or actually adds to his growing esoteric powers is not known at this moment. Alexander Conrad Simpson is an expert on Cat Shows and will attend many of such shows. He has been seen contributing to the flying trapeze acts conducted by the local migratory tribe.

Alexander is the mastermind behind the concept of Simpson Cardio in which they strap their legs to concrete bricks and sink to crush depth.

Like all Simpsons, he has a firm rivalry with the Samiads and maintains his distrust and hatred for the creatures. He has, on several occasions, caused great agony for lone Samiads he has caught. Unlike other Simpsons he communes with the mole men who are generally neutral to the Simpson family and their dealings.

Alexander is charged with containing the weasel and the ferret which are anomalous by nature and frequently escape, this is a major task for the Simpson family as they function as living weapons and also pets. On top of this, Alexander's arsonal of offensive capability does not stop at the weasel and ferret, which on their own are quite powerful. Alexander is capable of using the one thousand year money curse, bloodline curse and other minor curses all learned from Baba Olowo. Alexander is an extremely powerful entity due to his combined offensive capabilities.

Alexander naps, like some other Simpsons, for extended periods of time, often for days, sometimes months, this restores his powers, however he has no need to nap for so long so some have suggested that he just enjoys it.

Known to hate white bread with a passion, Alexander will scream if he sees it, his distaste for the food item comes from the builders who leave it out in the rain when they've done their daily workload. The bread goes moist and his neighbor will throw it at his door, the bread slumps down Alexander's front door, which he hates.

Alexander Conrad Simpson has sudden and violent urges to bite into, and subsequently consume, raw meat. In theory this is potentially because of meat being integral to his esoteric power. Cooked meat is known to clear spiritual essence from meat. Alexander may demand more concentrated sources of suffering, he is suspected for several missing persons cases, however nothing can be proven.

Alexander Conrad Simpson often captures people and subjects them to a game he refers to as "The Shoes", in which he refers to himself as "The Shoes". The victim is given the designation of "meagre feet" and is told that they will be turned into "little shoes" or "meat pasty". The victim will fight for their life and status with fellow "meagre feet". He will chase the winner with a rifle while chanting "run little shoes run".

While he was a youth he caught frogs at his local pond, this is when he acquired the alias of '**Froggy Froggy**'. He began to enter his classes and shout "Froggy pants" as he had stuffed numerous frogs in his trousers. The teachers were not amused as they started having interventions with his parents, the other students, on the other hand, had began to follow his lead, he was named '**King Froggy Froggy**' as his disciples followed him with his frogs in hand. Alexander's parents begged him to stop bringing frogs into the house, this was ignored and he continued. Alexander made a frog palace in the back of the school grounds, which resulted in a territorial war due to the separatist nature of the frog based fortification. Educators started the assault early in the day, they started taking down the cardboard he had put up, however Alexander Conrad Simpson filled his hands with clumps of mud which he had forcefully thrown into their faces in retaliation, it came to a head when one frog screamed and a teacher who had a fear of frogs ran away and hit their head on the concrete. At that point it was all out total warfare and Alexander decided to run a provisional government of Froggy Town. For eight days and seven nights Froggy Town remained standing, however during the final assault, the staff had taken to extreme measures and hosed it down with water. The teachers, despite their previous failed assaults, negotiations and heavy casualties, pinned Alexander down and beat him within an inch of his life. Alexander Conrad Simpson, regardless of the fall of Froggy Town and his failed separatist movement, was forever known as 'King Froggy Froggy' by his faithful disciples.

Alexander Conrad Simpson is known to be close to the Tooth Collector.