Walexium

A brief summary of Walexium

By Owen W. Joseph Esq.

The way the universe works is that it is one of a number of universes, sometimes an infinite amount, contained in a multiverse. And multiverses are contained in other verses and those are contained in other verses.

And this all repeats for an ineffable amount of eternities that go on and on forever and forms every shape and colour simultaneously and infinitely. And within all of this is anything and everything that exists or doesn’t exist and has happened, no matter how unlikely or absurd. Our concept of time, space, motion, and literally everything else are infinitely variable.

And before I go on I should probably explain what the Walexium is. It is what I call the place where all existence, non-existence, and several other things that we don’t know or really actually care about are. Keep in mind that the Walexium is not a place, because if it was then things could exist outside of it. Walexium is just a word used to describe where it all is.

Also, if your wondering where the word Walexium comes from, the answer is simple: I made it up completely. People don’t do that enough anymore it’s always a word from Latin or another language nobody speaks anymore.

Now, consider that if the Walexium is beyond infinite there is inevitably a point where you no longer matter. But if your feeling depressed at this notion, just remember this: If it is truly beyond infinite, nothing really matters at all. So why be miserable instead of just celebrating the life we have.

Now, a lot of you must be thinking "I’ve already thought up so many reasons the Walexium contradicts itself that it could never possibly exist." For that I say buckle up because the Walexium is a naturally contradictory thing. And I’m about to explain some things.

The first and most blatant contradiction: What is up with the laws of physics. Obviously, they clearly must vary between different universes. In fact they do,

as their is infinite ways the laws of physics could present itself. There are universes where magic totally exists, universes with only science, universes with both, and an infinite amount of other variables. It’s essentially unknown how something will function in another universe with different physics, and it really depends on what part of the Walexium you come across. Our concept of time, space, motion, and literally everything else are, once again, infinitely variable.

On the subject of "inevitable contradictions", there is of course the "power scaling paradox": And the fact is that it is impossible to be the most powerful being in the Walexium because there will always be something or someone more powerful. God himself could create Omniverses, un-exist entire civilisations on a whim, and still be crushed into a majestic ranch dressing by a vaguely humanoid ball of light that sort of resembles Martin Van Buren if you look at it hard enough.

And on the subject of vaguely inconceivable logistics, the Walexium is constantly being destroyed several times every nanosecond. But the thing is, their is a perfectly equal number of things that can destroy the universe as their are things that can instantly recreate it. This is another one of those "inevitable contradictions", so don’t think about it for too long.

And some of you may be wondering how the Walexium was created. Perhaps it was created from spontaneousity, like our universe. Perhaps it was created by some powerful being, because their are certainly beings that claim to have created or existed before the creation of the Walexium. Or, most likely, the Walexium has always existed. Their is an infinite amount of evidence for all scenarios.

So all of the above considered, especially all the blatant and unexplained contradictions, why does the Walexium exist? The answer is that you can’t prove that it doesn’t. And that itself means it exists. That’s how religion works.

Anyway I’m sleep deprived and listening to Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy in bed while writing this so I’m not at all a reliable source, so come up with your own conclusion to whether the multiple worlds theory has any weight at all and how exactly it actually works.