RQG 97 - Vaults, Villains and Virtue

## Content Warnings

paralysis, darkness, arrest, motion sickness, vomiting. Mention: drugs (methadone)

## Summary

The party continue their quest for the Heart of Aphrodite. Sasha has her mettle tested by Howard Carter. Grizzop doesn't care about him. Meanwhile, Hamid looks after Azu, who has trouble communicating.

## Synopsis

Hamid, Grizzop, and Azu are all waiting in a board room, while Sasha is in a corridor outside in the tomb, trying to help Howard Carter out of a pit. Azu is still dealing with the effects of the poison. Carter is currently trying to bribe Sasha to get him out of the pit and not fetch the two paladins. Sasha is really struggling to not say yes, because he’s offering her a lot of money. Carter says that if she helps to pull him up, even if she just gets him off the spike, he can hook her up. Sasha, remembering that Apophis is the one thing that allowed her to get the heart of Aphrodite, doesn’t accept the offer, saying that she’ll need to turn Carter in. He still tries to convince her to get him out, but Sasha just says that she’s going to go get her friends.

Azu is gesturing frantically, and just wants to run off again. Grizzop is still trying to get her to calm down. She wants to help Sasha, and shakes Hamid to try and convince him to help. They’re both trying to keep Azu laying down as she deals with the poison. She’s starting to drag herself over to the wall, and Grizzop offers to go check as long as that means that Azu will stop trying to get back into the corridor. Azu nods, and Grizzop heads off into the corridor.

His eyes adjust to darkvision, and he heads off after Sasha down the right tunnel. He hears Sasha at the end of the corridor and walks on, avoiding the trigger that Azu stepped on, and finds Sasha standing at the end of the pit. Sasha greets him, pointing out Carter, and saying that he wants her to kill him and take his money - which she’s okay with. Grizzop recognizes him and is very annoyed to see Carter; Sasha says that they should probably get him out, and Grizzop agrees. Carter is the only person down in the pit - no skeletons or anything. He’s got two big bags with him, one of which has been torn apart (showing gold and jewels), and Grizzop asks what he’s got. Carter grabs the backpack that hasn’t been torn open and rifles through it, pointing out common archaeological tools.

Grizzop says that he’s amazed that Carter is this ignorant and conniving, and asks what’s wrong with him. Sasha says that she’s been trying to get him out, but that he keeps complicating things. Carter disagrees. Grizzop says that Carter got himself into this situation, and that he deserves to die if he did this to himself. Sasha isn’t as convinced, saying that that’s a bit much, and says that they should get him out. Grizzop reminds her that someone was killed while he was trying to break into the tomb for the first time. Sasha still wants to get him out, but Grizzop points at Carter and tells him that he doesn’t care what Sasha does, but that Carter deserves to die. Sasha is a bit taken aback by how harsh this is, and Carter says that Grizzop is being hurtful. Grizzop says that Carter is a drain and worthless, and Carter closes his eyes, casting a spell. As Sasha and Grizzop are debating this, sad violin music starts playing in the background and Carter begins lamenting his situation. Sasha says that him being this annoying isn’t helping. She explains that Grizzop’s morals about who deserve to die might need to be a little bit more grey than he lets them be, and he says that he only came in here to check on Sasha anyway, turning to leave.

Sasha asks if he would feel the same about her if he knew that she’d nicked things, and Grizzop says that she’s actually someone with redeeming qualities, who is helpful. Carter keeps interjecting with how great he is. Sasha tells Carter to take anything heavy off and that they’ll try one more time; Grizzop has walked off. The violin music cuts off, and Carter gets ready to be pulled up again. It’s successful this time, and Carter yelps again as he’s pulled off the spike. He says that he’s fine and that he’s got this; he reaches into the pack, pulls out a potion and necks it before thanking Sasha. He tosses a coin up to Sasha, and says that she can go on. If she leaves him an address, he’ll forward some of the treasure to her. She says that she still needs to turn him in and bring him to prison.

Grizzop has just made it back to the VIP room. He says that she’s fine, but that Carter is down a spike pit. Azu slurs something again, and Grizzop said that he left the decision to pull him up or not up to Sasha. Hamid says that he thought Carter was in prison, and Grizzop says that he doesn’t know how he got out, but that he doesn’t care about what happens to him now, and that he deserves everything he gets. Azu staggers to her feet, and says that they need to get that man. She starts to stumble back to the corridor, because she has manacles in her pack.

Hamid follows, and they both make it past the first trap, coming up next to Sasha, looking down at Carter. Sasha says that Carter doesn’t seem that concerned, and that they should probably turn him in. Hamid says that he still broke out of prison, and Carter says that they let him out, blaming the sandstorm. None of them believe him, and still want to turn him in. He says that Grizzop was right and that they should leave him at the bottom of the pit, let him die alone in the tomb. Azu isn’t going to let that happen, saying that she will chain him up - she’s still slurring, but less. Carter starts to offer a different option, but Hamid attempts to cast *sleep*; it doesn’t affect Carter.

Hamid says that they aren’t interested in what he has to say, and Carter starts to speak again, but Sasha jumps down into the pit and kicks him in the head. She misses the face, but does screw up his spellcasting. She lands next to him, and Azu tosses her down the manacles; she clamps them around his wrist, and pats him down to make sure he isn’t holding anything. He seems clean, which Sasha is immediately suspicious of, but she can’t find anything. She asks if Azu can pull him up, and Hamid suggests that they tie the rope around the manacles and pull him up by that. Sasha says that that’s grim, and that she likes it. She mentions that she was going to make a harness to pull him up, but that they could dislocate his shoulders instead, and Hamid quickly says that they shouldn’t do that.

Azu ends up successfully pulling him out of the pit; Sasha is still in the pit with the two backpacks, and takes the one full of gold and climbs out of the pit. Hamid mentions that if they take up the contract to explore the pit, they’ll legally be able to keep any of the items they find. Sasha, very stiltedly, says that they will probably have to give this bag back to the bank. She asks if she should just leave it there and pick it up later, and Carter says that that’s a good idea. Hamid says that they shouldn’t leave it anywhere Carter knows about. Azu asks who’s it was, and Hamid explains that if they take on the contract, they’ll be able to keep what they find. Carter tries to claim it using that excuse, but Hamid says that he hasn’t entered into a contract to explore the tomb. Carter keeps interrupting, and Hamid reminds him that he doesn’t care what he has to say. He threatens to gag Carter again, and Carter mimes zips his lips. Hamid thanks him and Carter responds, and Sasha says that that isn’t how zips work. She says that Hamid and Azu should bring Carter ahead, and Sasha will put the bag somewhere he can’t find. Hamid thinks that they should declare it instead.

Back in the room where Grizzop is, one of the guards who was supposed to lead them into the vaults comes in, with Oscar Wilde in tow. Wilde greets him, not sounding happy, and asks where the rest of them are. Grizzop explains that they’re currently retrieving Carter from behind the illusory wall leading into the tomb. Wilde seems almost like he expected as much, but the guard starts panicking; Grizzop tells him not to run in because there are traps, and the guards instead leaves the room, leaving them alone. Wilde tries to make conversation, and Grizzop ignores him as they sit there in silence. Wilde walks around a bit, steals a fancy pen from a cabinet, and then starts speaking again, saying that he hasn’t really had a chance to get to know Grizzop. Grizzop says that he has only referred to Grizzop as “this” or “it”, and Grizzop says that he has nothing to say to Wilde, and that they’ll sit there in silence. Wilde says that Grizzop is so much better than Zolf ever was, and Grizzop tells him to shut up.

(Meta note: this was discussed in a metacast. Ben misheard Wilde referring to Grizzop as ‘it’ - it didn’t happen in canon - but treated all of Grizzop’s interactions with Wilde hereafter incredibly coldly. For most, if not all, of the campaign so far, Grizzop has interacted with Wilde under the assumption that Wilde was dismissive and bigoted toward goblins, and Wilde has done nothing to dissuade the fact. Most (nearly all) of their interactions are very negative or incredibly impersonal due to this point alone.)

The rest of the party come out through the illusory door, and they greet Wilde. Wilde asks how Sasha is, and she responds that she isn’t great. He asks if this is Carter; Carter mimes very dramatically about not being able to speak because his lips are zipped shut. Wilde asks what’s wrong with him, and Hamid said that he’s very annoying. Wilde smiles a bit, and Azu tells Wilde to take him. He very clearly looks Carter up and down, saying alright, and Hamid clarifies that he needs to take Carter to prison so that he can’t escape it again.

Multiple guards burst into the room, heading over to the wall and setting up a temporary steel wall in front of it while they investigate it. Wilde says that he needs to give them permission for the key thing, and Azu produces the key. He continues, saying that they can head in, and that the guards can probably handle Carter. Sasha and Azu don’t feel that convinced, but there are two guards on either side of him and a spellcaster behind him. The spellcaster brings out a gag and a finger trap so that Carter can’t cast any spells.

Wilde gestures to the door, and they all head out, toward the guard entrance. They give them the same spiel and he gives them permission to enter the vault with the key and get what they need. Sasha watches how the door opens, learning more about the mechanism.

They step in and find themselves in a steel cube with four crystals in each corridor, with four torches on the wall, unlit, and a basin full of oil in the middle. The guards light the torches and step into another identical cube. They turn back toward the party and explain that as long as the party stays in the firelight, they’ll be safe. There are a number of monsters guarding the vaults. If one of them disappears, they will not come looking for them. The caster walks up and places their hand on the door, and it opens to what looks to be emptiness. At a sharp angle downward, there is a narrow stone pathway heading into darkness. One guard is at the front, and the other is at the back. To the paladins, it doesn’t look like a natural cavern. Sasha and Hamid hear sounds in the distance that are vaguely magical, and humming/buzzing. They don’t hear any creatures in the background.

Sasha asks the guard how one gets a job in vault guarding. He says that it’s a bit of a weird job, because to get the job you need to be the best of the best, but once you get the job, it’s pretty much just boring? All they do is ferry rich people around. The guard in the back is kind of snooty, and says that this is so fulfilling. The lead guard mentions that some people tried joining up to break into the vault, and Sasha awkwardly says that they must have been foolish. The guard agrees, and says that they’ll be passing them soon.

They end up on a stone travel, with two paths leading off into the distance, both heading downwards. The scale of the place is still off; Sasha tries opening a bag of holding to check if it’s a pocket plane, but it still opens, so they aren’t. They keep heading down, heading to another platform with three paths, and pick an arbitrary path. Sasha asks if the paths change, and the guard says that they do.

They march down to another stone platform, with five paths this time and three statutes. One seems to be a fighter, one seems to be a caster, and the last is a statue of a dead person, lying prone. Hamid asks if they have a medusa, and the guard motions him over to the side, explaining that they have a few Beholders on this level, and Hamid looks more nervous. Azu asks what they are, and the guards and Hamid basically say that she really won’t want to find out. They pick another path and head down; the path starts to level out more, into a completely stone base.

The guards ask if they want to go to the heart or the key first, and Sasha says that she would like to go to the heart first. All of them set off that path. It quickly becomes apparent that they’re approaching a wall, curving all the way left, right, and up (like a dome). The dome is covered with keyholes, and Hamid realizes that it can probably rotate. The workmanship is still incredible. The guards start muttering about what day it is, what phase the moon is in, etc., and find themselves at a completely standard block, put the key in, and then the stone parts. On the other side is a darkened room with a pedestal in the middle, with a pink glow coming from it as it sits in a pillar of light.

Azu smiles. The guards place themselves on either side and say that they aren’t allowed in. Hamid asks if Azu should be the one who takes it, and Azu really wants to, but turns to Sasha and asks if she wants to touch it. Hamid says that they should really only use it with someone who has experience, and Azu steps up to take it. On the pedestal, there is a rose gold open clam with a huge ruby in the middle. It almost looks perfectly smooth from how finely it’s been chipped. Hamid asks if there are any other security measures that they should be aware of, and Wilde shrugs, saying that he’s never been here before. Hamid apologizes for expecting Wilde to be useful.

Azu closes the clam over the ruby and takes the clam. She doesn’t want to touch the heart, out of reverence. Nothing happens as she closes the heart, and nothing happens as she picks it up. She puts it in her pack, and then they decide to head off to the other locker. The doors automatically close behind them, and the guards lock it again with the key, and then put it on a keyring tucked inside their clothes. They head back toward the middle platform, and then they stand there. They reach down and dust off the middle platform, and say that the party and Wilde are going to want to face inwards. Sasha and Hamid don’t listen.

There’s a rumble, and it builds and shakes, getting louder and louder; the sides of the cavern are shrinking in closer and closer, until its about as wide as the platform. It starts to spin, spinning on multiple planes, faster and faster. It seems to be okay, at first, and then it really hits Sasha, and she throws up everywhere. It stops hard, and Hamid excitedly remarks on how cool it is as the guards tightly say that it isn’t over yet. There’s a moment of stillness, and then the cavern explodes outwards, expands to become huge again ridiculously quickly, and a second of breathlessness before the air normalizes again. Azu is very much so not happy about how small everything got, Sasha is throwing up and crying a bit, and Grizzop, Hamid, Wilde, and the two guards are absolutely fine.

## Quotes

**Grizzop**: "He’s behind a wall, and he’s got himself into this situation, and he’s a thief. I think we just leave him here. We have absolutely no reason to help him. He doesn’t deserve it. He absolutely deserves to die in this situation."
**Sasha**: "I…well…I just…that’s quite a thing."
**Grizzop**: "Look into his eyes, think about what he’s done. *[Carter closes his eyes.]* Look at what he’s just done… [...] *[Pointing at Carter.]* You deserve to die. You do not deserve to live."
**Sasha**: "What…wait, mate, like, that’s quite…uh, that’s quite…"
**Carter**: "Hurtful."
**Sasha**: "Yeah!"
**Carter**: "Like a spike through my heart."
**Sasha**: "He’d know."
**Carter**: "Yeah. Cause there’s a spike in my leg and no one helps."
―Grizzop doesn't want to help Carter.

**Carter**: "*[conjures sad violin noises at the bottom of the pit.]*"
**Sasha**: "I mean you…look, you’ve got your rules, and you obviously think some people deserve to live, and some to…die, and maybe I think it’s a bit more squishy and grey than that, but I’m not gonna leave him…"
**Grizzop**: "Well, you get him up, I’ll meet you back there, but time’s a wastin’."
**Sasha**: "Right…"
**Grizzop**: "I only came here to check that you were alright, I don’t give a darn about him."
**Sasha**: "I mean, uh, I…would you care if I was alive if you knew I’d nicked stuff?"
**Grizzop**: "Well, you actually have redeeming qualities and are helpful and bring something to society."
―Grizzop checks on Sasha.

**Wilde**: "It does get tiring, doesn’t it after a while."
**Ben**: "I just look at him."
**Alex**: "He wanders over to a cabinet, opens it, finds a fancy pen, puts it in his pocket."
**Wilde**: "So, Grizzop.  Realize, we’ve not really spent any real time together, have we? Now that I think about it."
**Grizzop**: "No. You’ve spent most of your time referring to me as *this*, or *it*."
**Wilde**: "Pretty certain I used he at some point. I mean, how’s things? You good?"
**Grizzop**: "I have absolutely nothing to say to you to you in a personal context. We will sit here in silence until you can continue to be our handler."
**Wilde**: "You are so much better than Zolf ever was."
**Grizzop**: "Shut up."
―Grizzop dislikes Wilde.

**Sasha**: "How do they have so much in common? It’s bizarre really. How are these two people that come from such different backgrounds and interests….well, I suppose they’re not, they’re both posh men. [...]"
**Hamid**: "He’s very irritating, Oscar."
**Wilde**: "I see."
**Azu**: "You take him."
**Wilde**: " *[looks Howard up, down, then back up again]* Yeah, alright."
**Hamid**: "No. Oscar!"
**Sasha**: "Imprison!"
**Hamid**: "Yes, he needs to go back to prison and this time it needs to be a more secure cell that he can’t just escape whenever he feels like it."
**Wilde**: "Talented as well! Quite the package."
**Azu**: "No!"
―Wilde checks out Carter.

## Dice rolls and Mechanics

* Grizzop rolls a Perception check: 16
* Sasha makes a Strength check: 16
* Azu makes a Perception check: 20
* Sasha makes an Acrobatics roll: 17
* Sasha makes an attack roll on Carter: 13
* Sasha rolls a Perception check: 16
* Azu makes a Strength check, Hamid assists: Azu gets 19, Hamid gets an 8
* Sasha makes a Climb check: 21
* Everyone makes a Perception check: Hamid gets a 22, Azu gets a 16, Sasha gets a 21, Grizzop gets a 17
* Hamid makes a Perception check: 17
* Hamid makes a Fortitude save: 23
* Sasha makes a Fortitude save: 11