Back To The Past/Transcript

The following is the transcript for the Dumb Teacher Season 3 episode, *Back To The Past.*

## The Time Machine

*(The episode opens at Greenhill Elementary. In the gymnasium, the 28th annual Greenhill Science Fair is happening today, and everyone is in a row with their science projects ready)*

* **Logan**: What's your science project gonna be, Tom?
* **Tom**: My science project? It's an AI software I programmed that can self-type any homework problems. There's just one problem.
* **Logan**: Hm?
* **Tom**: I haven't got it connected to the internet. *(Logan still looks confused)* I'll show you. *(pulls out World War II paper)* I'll put this WWII sheet into the scanner the AI's connected to.

*(Tom places the sheet into the scanner. After 5 seconds of scanning, the AI prints out the answers on the sheet. When it finishes printing Logan picks it up and looks at it. After looking at it, he appears shocked)*

* **Logan**: Oh my god! I've never seen so much AI-written anti-Semitism in my whole life! I wonder what would happen if you put an African history worksheet in th-
* **Tom**: *Don't*. *(Logan is puzzled)* I've tried it before. It was *all* white supremacist hell.
* **Logan**: "White supremacist hell" as in, "KKK-Approved" material?

*(Tom slowly nods his head. Gerald walks behind them)*

* **Gerald**: What's KKK?
* **Tom**: Uh...It's...the...abbreviation for the Kool Kids Klub! You gotta be real cool to join them! They visit the Greenhill Mall every Friday. If you wanna join the KKK, you gotta be Kool like Kool-Aid to join 'em.
* **Gerald**: Wow! The Kool Kids Klub must be real cool! I'll try to join the KKK for sure! Thanks, Tommy!

*(Gerald walks away)*

* **Tom**: Phew! That was a close one! If I had told him what KKK actually means, I would've been baked chocolate cake!
* **Logan**: Tom, I know I'm 10, but, is there really a Kool Kids Klub?
* **Tom**: Nah. Besides, when he found out there was now Kool Kids Klub, and he told his mother all about it, his ass would get spanked *real* hard!

*(Suddenly, Gerald rides in with green-lined rollerblades and a helmet)*

* **Gerald**: Hey dudes! You wanna know where I got these cool rollers? The Kool Kids Klub! Thanks for telling me about them, Tom-Man! *(Gerald rides to a group of kids wearing white hats with "KOOL KIDS KLUB" inscribed on them in neon red)* Woo-hoo!
* **Tom**: Hm, and I just made that abbreviation up. *(to Logan)* Anyways, what's your science project, Logan?
* **Logan**: You know about that whole, "Potato power" bullcrap nerds talk about? Well, I'm doin' apple power.

*(Logan and Tom walk to Logan's booth, where an apple is connected to two wires both connected to a USB charger cable charging an MP3 player)*

* **Logan**: From what I've seen, apples are a genius' favorite fruit to eat. So, by connecting two wires to an apple, I should be able to generate enough power to charge this MP3 player. Here. *(shows Tom the MP3 player's battery)* See that? It's says its charging, which means, it works!
* **Tom**: That's awesome! Have you seen Dan? He's supposed to be here with his project.

*(Dan walks through the gymnasium door moving a dolly that's carrying an object hiding under a white covering)*

* **Dan**: Greetings, everybody! What I am about to show you at this year's Greenhill Science Fair will blow your heads off! *(Dan goes to his booth where he puts the dolly down, then moves the covered object out of the dolly)* Feast your eyes on the one thing only my intelligence could build... *(Dan pulls the sheet off, where the covered object is revealed to be his time machine)* An actual functioning time machine!

*(The kids gasp in awe by its appearance)*

* **Logan**: What're you gonna use it for, Dan?
* **Dan**: I am gonna go back in time, 1681, and save the Dodo bird!
* **Ashley**: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up! Are you sure that's really a time machine? If it's like those knock-off x-ray specs, then you's a fraud!
* **Dan**: Don't believe me, Ashley? *(enters time machine)* Then I'll go 3 seconds into the future to show you.

*(Dan enters the time on a control panel in the time machine, then disappears in a blue flash. After 3 seconds, Dan returns in his time machine, much to the crowd's awe)*

* **Ashley**: So it *is* real! That's pretty awesome, Dan! I never realized you were *this* much of a genius until now.
* **McNeese**: *(off-screen)* Yeah, more like *that* much of a fuckin' idiot!
* **Tom**: Great, Hitler the Second is here.
* **Logan**: Fuck off, McNeese! This is none of your business!

*(McNeese approaches Dan, Logan, James and Tom)*

* **McNeese**: No, *you* fuck off, you motherfuckin' white pickaninny! You've got no fuckin' purpose in this world other than fuckin' supportin' anti-anti-Semitists and anti-white supremacists! Don't you know Anti-racist is a code for Anti-white? *(walks up to Dan)* And what about you? You think you can just fuck around with your fuckin' time machine-a-ma-jig, Vlok-lover?
* **Dan**: "Vlok-lover"? You take that back, you racist!
* **McNeese**: I don't fuckin' think so... I mean, do you even listen to your-fuckin'-self you white sambo? You're always like: *(sarcastically mocking Dan)* "Oh, look at me, I’m a fucking blue-haired Kadophile brat, and check this out, I built a time machine because I am so fucking smart. And I bet I could use lots of ways to use the time machine for my Kad-loving needs. I could make Sminstrel-Show the only restaurant in the world, I could save Michael Blah-Blah-Zu from his assassination, I could save the Union of the Vloks, I could make the Vickies keep their dumb monarchy and kingdom, *or*, I could make Technicality *highly* addictive, so that Coke and Pepsi sales would plummet! Yeah, that's what I'd do," *(in serious voice)* if I were a *FUCKING* HONKY PICKANINNY, THAT ONLY DOES *KAD*-STUFF ALL FUCKING DAY, 24/7! *(slaps Dan's face)* *HUH!*

*(Dan looks at him furiously. The kids gasp in shock)*

* **Dan**: I can handle the Vlokozuians being taken in vain and my intelligence being mocked, but INTENTIONALLY GETTING THE NAMES OF EL KADSREIAN PEOPLE AND BRANDS WRONG IS WHERE I DRAW THE GODDAMN LINE!

*(Dan punches McNeese's right shin)*

* **McNeese**: Augh!!! My fuckin’ leg! *(raises his fist up)* You goddamn. Motherfucking. SON OF A- *(Dan dodges his punch, and McNeese winds up hitting the control panel instead)* BITCH!!!

*(The control panel begins shooting out sparks of electricity)*

* **McNeese**: Uh-oh.

*(A purple portal opens up in place of the control panel. It begins sucking Dan in. Dan holds onto the floorboard tight)*

* **Dan**: Look what you've done now, you racist- *(Dan gets sucked into the portal and starts screaming)* *asshooooole!*
* **McNeese**: I'm coming for you, *(McNeese jumps into the portal, completely unaware that it appears very small)* *fuckfaaaaaaaace! (starts screaming in fear)*

*(Logan falls down and starts getting sucked into the portal. He tries grabbing onto the floor to no avail)*

* **Logan**: No-no-no-no-no-no, *(Logan gets fully sucked into the portal)* *NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!*
* **James & Tom**: Oh, no! Dan, Logan, hold on! We're- *(they both jump into the portal)* *comiiiiiiiiiiing!*

*(The portal short circuits and turns itself off. A blue leakage can be seen coming from the machine's pipes. Emma goes to investigate. It is revealed that the leak is coming from a fuel gauge strapped onto the machine. Above the meter is a text that says, "Bluel Fuel")*

* **Emma**: *(sighs)* *Classic* Dan and his Elkadsreophilia. *(grabs tape from her pocket)* I better fix this before they get home. If they do come home...

*(Emma tapes up the scar in the pipe. She then grabs a canned beverage that looks like Technic, opens it up, and pours it into the Technic Fuel container. After filling it up, she throws the can away)*

* **Emma**: There we go, good as new! Let's just hope that wherever and *when*ever they're going, they don't become dinosaur food.

*(The scene cuts to black for three seconds)*

## November 22, 1963

*(The scene cuts to the portal, where McNeese, Dan, Logan, James & Tom are seen flying down in a distorted way. Dramatic music plays throughout the scene as the kids and McNeese are seen screaming in fear)*

* **McNeese**: WE'RE *ALL* GONNA *FUCKING* *DIE*!
* **Dan**: *(screams in fear/anger)* SHUT UP, YOU CLAUSTROPHOBIC!

*(The scene then cuts to a grassy field, where the time portal opens up. McNeese, Dan and his friends are seen falling through the portal. They fall down on the ground, and then get off the ground. McNeese stands up with his right eye twitching as he breaths heavily for 3 seconds, then he screams in fear for 2 seconds)*

* **Dan**: Ugh, my head... Where are we? *(looks around)* As a matter of fact, *when* are we?
* **Logan**: I don't know... But going through that portal was *not* like a trip in the TARDIS. *(spots city in the distance)* Hey! I see a city in the distance, that means we're either still in the 21st century, or we're in the mid-20th century!
* **McNeese**: *WHAT??* MID-20TH CENTURY?! *OHH!* *(to Dan)* GOOD *JOB*, YOU FUCKING WHITE PORCH MONKEY! NOW WE'RE *STUCK* IN THE FUCKING PAST, ALL BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID-ASS TIME MACHINE!
* **Dan**: Hey, don't blame all of this on my time machine, Aryan teacher! Y*ou* were the one that punched the panel on accident.
* **McNeese**: You missed my punch!
* **Dan**: You were stupidly mocking Vlokozuian, El Kadsreian, and even though a one-liner, Vicnoran culture, asshole! You know better than to mispronounce Mikey's full name and mock the Vlokozu Union. They have done nothing wrong to deserve such hate, even if they are *long* gone, *and* if the UEKN shunned them! Also, you DO NOT call Vicnorans 'Vickies'!
* **Tom**: Guys, now is not the time to be fighting over how we got here. We have to look around and find out where and *when* we are!
* **McNeese**: Macaca pickaninny's got a fuckin' point. We'll fight over this, later, white yarpie.
* **Dan**: Shut up, you racist dumbass! You call me a white/honky, "insert black person slur here" all the time.
* **Logan**: Okay, let's just look around, see where we are. Maybe there's some cool stuff around here.

*(The five begin walking towards the city)*

* **Tom**: So, Dan. I've been wondering, why is your hair blue? Is it because you support those overly-nostalgic campaigners who want to bring Pepsi Blue back?
* **Dan**: No! I'm not even into that old drink. Well, technically I am because I enjoy the still-active El Kadsreian version. My hair's blue because Technic is blue!
* **Tom**: Hm?
* **Dan**: Technic is a blue-colored beverage. It was also made in El Kadsre, and I'm a sucker for everything El Kadsre.
* **Tom**: Oh, I see! Speaking of that, I may not be an Elkadsreophile like you, but I also enjoy that stuff. My momma was all the rave on that drink when it was introduced to the US. Guess good taste *does* come from genetics!
* **Dan**: That explains why your hair's also dyed blue.
* **Tom**: Seems like we have one more thing in common other than watchin' Saturday night anime.
* **Logan**: Hey guys, I think I see a sign.

*(The camera pans up to the sign, which is revealed to be a "Welcome to Dallas, Texas" sign)*

* **James**: Dallas? Guess we're in Texas now.
* **McNeese**: Oh, just fuckin' great! First that claustrophobic time portal, and now were in a fuckin' city on a country close to the assy Tacoheads.
* **Dan**: Watch the racism, McNeese, we don't know if this was pre-MLK Jr.'s I Have A Dream speech, or if it was after it.
* **McNeese**: Oh, yeah. Good fuckin' point, you white Sambo axle grease.

*("Green Onions" by Booker T. & The M.G.'s starts to play as the five walk into the city. The five pass by a cinema with a marquee saying, "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World", and movie posters of 1963 films are seen in the poster frames. The five then go through a crosswalk, where a red scooter drives right by them. They see an old gas station, where someone pulls in for some gas in a dark green car The five then pass by a record store marketing Marvin Gaye, Ray Charles, The Beatles, and Etta James records. The two end up in Jackson St.)*

* **Logan**: Well, that was interesting, and hearing how Green Onions is playing in the background and seeing that there's a lot of 60s stuff here, I'd say we're in the mid-60s.

*(A paperboy throws a newspaper at the five, which hits McNeese in the testicles)*

* **McNeese**: OW!
* **James**: Huh, nice. Dick shot.

*(McNeese slaps James' face)*

* **McNeese**: SHUT UP, YOU FAT WHITE MICKEY'S MAN FRIDAY!
* **Tom**: *(takes the newspaper, looks at it, and gasps)* It says here that it's November 22, 1963! *(gasps again)* That's the exact date Lee Oswald kills JFK!
* **Logan**: Oh my god, our former president's gonna be assassinated! We've gotta do something!
* **Dan**: Uh, *former* president? *(quietly)* Remember Loge, it's 1963, we gotta blend in.
* **Logan**: I mean, our president's gonna be assassinated! We gotta do something about it!
* **McNeese**: You 3 white pickaninnies and 1 pickaninny want to fuckin' stop Lee from killin' JFK? I hated that asshole, always supportin' negroes, pickaninnies and Jews.
* **Logan**: Be *careful*, McNeese, this is after MLK Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech. Racism isn't legal in America anymore.
* **McNeese**: Of fuckin' course.
* **Dan**: Okay, let's split up. McNeese, you'll head north to that multipurpose building. Logan and James, you two will head south to that restaurant. Tom, you'll head west to that park full of African-Americans. As for me, I'll head east to that diner over there. *(hands them walkie talkies, James doesn't get one, as he is going with Logan, who has one)* I'm going to give you these walkie talkies, that way we can let each other know what we find. If any of us finds anything wrong, walk-talk each other. Got it?
* **McNeese, Logan, James, Tom**: Got it!

*(The five then split up and leave to their exact locations.* *Dan walks into the diner, where he sees a jukebox playing "Tutti Frutti" by Little Richard. A diner clerk notices him)*

* **Bobby**: Hey, kid. Were you with Andy Warhol posing for one of his weird paintings?
* **Dan**: Huh?
* **Bobby**: What's with the blue hairdo?
* **Dan**: Oh. Uh...It's a strange hobby I do. I dye my hair the color of anything.

*(Dan walks up to a barstool and sits down on it)*

* **Bobby**: Oh. That *is* a strange hobby. What'll it be, kiddo?
* **Dan**: Uh, yeah. Give me a Technic.
* **Bobby**: "Technic"? What the hell's a Technic?
* **Dan**: Uh, right, give me a Red Bull.
* **Bobby**: A red bull? You want a bull the color of red like the Soviets, right here, in a coffee bar at a diner? *(laughs hysterically)* Do you hear this kid? He wants a red-colored bull! *(laughs for 3 seconds)* Listen here kid, you want a red bull, you gotta go to a bull ranch, buy some red paint, and then paint *any* bull red. *That's* how you get a red bull.
* **Dan**: Look, I'm not here to play hysterics. Just give me something with caffeine in it, okay?
* **Bobby**: *(goes under bar and looks around)* Somethin' with caffeine in it... *(Pulls out a bottle of Coca-Cola and a coffee pitcher full of coffee)* Coke, or coffee?
* **Dan**: Coffee.

*(Bobby pours coffee into a coffee cup on a plate, then gives it to Dan)*

* **Bobby**: When you're done, pay up. Got it?
* **Dan**: Yeah.

*(Bobby leaves as Dan takes a sip of his coffee. A man then sits next to him, who turns out to be Lee Harvey Oswald)*

* **Lee**: *(starts breathing angrily)*
* **Dan**: *(turns to Lee)* Hey sir, can you ple- *(a pause is seen for 2 seconds)* Wait a minute... A-a-aren't you Lee Harvey Oswald?!
* **Lee**: Yeah, that's me. Your father was probably a fuckin' pig cop if you've heard of me and my truancy in youth. You wanna know why I'm so fuckin' angry?
* **Dan**: Uh...

*(Lee moves his face up closer to him)*

* **Lee**: I *SAID* DO YOU *WANNA* KNOW *WHY* I AM ANGRY?! *(Dan fearfully nods his head)* Because I hate that bastard, Kennedy. I wish he was dead like the Naps*.* He thinks he can just be president with his, "Peace Corps" and the way he supports those fuckin' n\*ggers! He's visiting Dallas today. But, today's the day I'm gonna do it, today's the day I'm gonna shoot him... *(pulls out his rifle)* with this bad boy! I hope you're coming and you've got your eyes peeled, you will *not* wanna miss any moment of his death, caused by the hero, Lee Harvey Oswald!

*(Lee laughs maniacally as Dan fearfully runs out of the diner without finishing and paying for his coffee. Bobby notices him while he cleans the bar counter)*

* **Bobby**: Hey kid, you haven't payed for your coffee! Come back here!

*(Dan runs outside of the diner and into an alley, where he uses his walkie talkie to contact Logan)*

* **Dan**: Logan! I just saw Lee Harvey Oswald in that diner I went to! We need to meet up in front of the multipurpose building McNeese is at, let him know about what I saw!

*(Scene cuts to Logan holding his walkie talkie standing in the parking lot of Roy's Grill next to James)*

* **Logan**: Oh crap! *(turns off his walkie talkie and turns to James)* James, Dan told me that he just saw Lee Harvey Oswald at the diner! We've gotta meet up with McNeese!
* **James**: Let's go, man!

*(The two run off. Dan then transmutes his walkie talkie to Tom's)*

* **Dan**: Tom, Tom, can you hear me?

*(Scene cuts to Tom, who is at the park with other African-Americans)*

* **Tom**: Yep, hear you loud and clear like the sky.
* **Dan**: Good! I've got shocking news. I just saw Lee at the diner I was at! We need to meet up with McNeese in front of the multipurpose building!
* **Tom**: Okay. *(turns off his walkie talkie and runs off)* Oh. damn!

*(Tom runs out of the park. The scene then cuts to the multipurpose building, where a Neo-Nazi group presentation is being held)*

* **Neo-Nazi Member #1**: So, in order to kill those fucking jews and coons, we have devised a plan. We will send some of our KKK troops into every American spearchucker's home, and kill them with poisonous gas! Now, before we move on to our next topic, does anybody have anything to say?
* **McNeese**: I do. This idea... is GENIUS! ABSOLUTE GENIUS! This is one *hell* of an idea for a couple of Neo-Nazists like you, and, since you come from my favorite tow- *(McNeese's walkie-talkie turns on)*

*(The scene cuts to Dan, who is standing outside of the building with Logan, James and Tom)*

* **Dan**: McNeese, this is Dan. Can you hear me?

*(The scene cuts back to McNeese)*

* **McNeese**: *(to the first member)* Hold on a sec, a white coon's on my walkie talkie. *(to Dan on the walkie talkie)* Yes, I hear you, you white blue-haired golliwog. What the fuck is it?

*(The scene cuts back to Dan)*

* **Dan**: McNeese, we're outside the multipurpose building. I have some news. I saw Oswald at the diner. Please meet us outside, and whatever you're doing in there, make it quick, me and my buds gotta figure out a plan to stop him.

*(The scene finally cuts back to McNeese)*

* **McNeese**: Well, whatever it fucking is, I'm *not* interested in participating with you three fucking white Kallus and one pickaninny. Go fuck yourselves and don't stop that hero from killing that bastard. I'm out! *(McNeese turns off his walkie talkie as he talks quietly)* Fucking white Smoked Irishman.
* **Neo-Nazi Member #1**: Hey, if you were talking with some white kid, why'd you call him fuckin' Negro slurs with 'white' at the start of them.
* **McNeese**: Oh, that? It's just some *sweet* fucking thing I do to mock white people who act like they're black. Here's an example: "White Rastuses". Pretty interesting, huh?
* **Neo-Nazi Member #2**: Hmm...Calling a white person that acts like a Sambo a white Sambo slur...We *love* that concept!
* **Neo-Nazi Member #1**: Say, how about you join our group, that way we can torture darkies and Yids with your skills.
* **McNeese**: Well, I'm only visiting Dallas for some time, but, I'll teach you what I know about torturing Chinks, Japs, Naps, Kads, Negroes, Pickaninnies, Oven Dodgers, and Gyppos.
* **Neo-Nazi Member #3**: Sounds like an idea. Now, everybody perform the group heil.

*(Everyone in the room performs the Nazi salute as everyone shouts, "Heil Hitler!". The scene cuts to a phone booth, where Dan is inside while Logan, James and Tom are outside next to him)*

* **Logan**: So, why are we at a phone booth?
* **Dan**: Let's just say, if there's one thing mental hospitals disapprove of, it's crazy death threats against presidents like JFK. So, for this plan, I'm going to call the mental hospital, tell them that Lee has been insanely yelling death threats on JFK, and that he should be committed at once. Oh, and if they ask what his address is, I’ll simply tell them where he’s at.
* **Tom**: Now, *that* is some plan! But wait, how are you gonna know where Oswald lives?
* **Dan**: You ever heard of the LHO Rooming House?
* **Tom**: Yeah. Why you askin’?
* **Dan**: That’s the *exact* same place where LHO lives!
* **Tom**: Oh *yeah!* Why didn’t you say so?
* **Dan**: Duh. Ever wonder why it’s called that?
* **Logan**: Well, the name is completely obvious. Anyways, once we do that, how are we gonna get back to 2007?
* **Dan**: Well, I kinda forgot to tell you this, but, I have this digital watch on my right wrist I reprogrammed to act as a portable version of my time machine. You simply know how it works, but there’s one problem though. Whenever the regular time machine is used and I take this with me, it won’t activate its time travel feature until 3 hours have passed since our last exit out of a time portal from the original time machine... It’s kind of a bug I forgot to fix. So, after Harvey Oswald’s committed to the hospital, we’re just gonna have to blend in with the 1963 crowd until 3 hours have passed. Got it?
* **Logan, James & Tom**: Got it.
* **Dan**: *(dialing numbers)* Good. And while I’m dialing the numbers, why don’t you let McNeese know about how we’re going back home?
* **James**: I’ll let him know.
* **Dan**: *(the phone is heard dialing)* Alright. The hospital’s dialing right now, so, don’t interrupt me on the phone or else this whole mission will be blown.
* **Logan**: We got it.
* **Doctor**: Hello, this is the Dallas Mental Hospital. What’s happening today?
* **Dan**: Hi, I would like to commit a man to the hospital today. His name is Lee Harvey Oswald, and he’s been quite shouty today.
* **Doctor**: What’s Mr. Oswald been doing?
* **Dan**: Well, he’s been insanely shouting death threats against president John F. Kennedy around town, and, we would like to commit him to the hospital.
* **Doctor**: Alright, where does he live?
* **Dan**: He lives at 1026 North Beckely Street. He’s renting a room with a woman named Gladys Johnson.
* **Doctor**: Thank you sir, we’ll send our doctors there to commit him right away.
* **Dan**: You’re welcome, bye.
* **James**: Okay, I’ve let McNeese know about how we’re coming home. If this works, looks like we’ll be seeing a PBS documentary series episode featuring him.
* **Tom**: Let’s just hope it works in the next scene.

*(The scene cuts to the LHO Rooming House, on the bottom is a text saying, “LHO Rooming House, 1026 N. Beckely Street”. The camera then cuts to Lee’s room, where he is seen holding and looking at his rifle)*

* **Lee**: Oh, man! This is gonna be the day. I’m gonna show those fuckin’ JFK-lovers what it’s like when they lose their only, “hero”. JFK, get ready...

*(A knock is heard on the door, Lee puts his rifle under his bed. Gladys Johnson opens the door)*

* **Gladys**: Uh, Mr, Oswald, there’s some people visiting the house. I think they want to talk to you.
* **Lee**: Alright, I’ll be right there, Gladys.

*(Lee walks into the living room, where two mental hospital doctors are seen at the door)*

* **Doctor #1**: Excuse me, but, is your name Lee Harvey Oswald?
* **Lee**: Yeah. Why you askin’?
* **Doctor #2**: That’s him.

*(The doctors immediately pin Lee down to the table, he struggles to break free from their grasp)*

* **Lee**: Hey, what the fuck are you two dumb ladies doing?
* **Doctor #2**: We got a call from a kid saying you were angrily shouting death threats against president Kennedy.
* **Lee**: What? That coon-supportin’ bastard president?! How’d whoever called you know about that?
* **Doctor #2**: Guess the kid was right. *(puts straitjacket on Lee)* That rude and racist comment of yours just landed you 6 years committed to the maximum security mental hospital. Hopefully, it’ll teach you not to be hateful against our president.

*(The doctors drag Lee out of the house to their van)*

* **Lee**: Hey! You can’t do this to me! I’m trying to make this country great again, and you fucking N\*gra-supporters are against that.
* **Doctor #1**: That’s an extra year to your commitment, Mr. Oswald.

(The two doctors throw Lee into the van as they close the backdoor and lock it)

* **Lee**: NO!! YOU *CANNOT* DO THIS TO ME! I WAS *SO* CLOSE TO KILLING FUCKING KENNEDY! *(The van drives off into the road)* YOU *FUCKING* WHITE N\*GGERS!!!

*(The scene cuts back to the phone booth, where Dan, who is holding a video camera that’s recording,, Logan, James and Tom notice the same van about to pass by them)*

* **Dan**: *(to the screen*) Ooh! A mental hospital van! Let’s see who got committed, shall we? *(The van passes by the four. Then the camera cuts to Lee looking out the cell window of the van’s back doors. Dan shouts at him)* Oh, *Oswald!* Guess who got you *committed?*
* **Lee**: WHAT?! *YOU* GOT ME INTO THIS, YOU BLUE-HAIRED BASTARD?
* **Dan**: That’s right! I hope you enjoy life in a mental hospital, because I’ve got this on film!
* **Lee**: *YOU GOT* MY COMMITMENT ON FILM?! (The van drives into the city road) *NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*

*(The four laugh hysterically for 5 seconds)*

* **Logan**: Serves that bastard right for nearly killing Kennedy.
* **James**: Well deserved, too.
* **Tom**: Motherfucker won’t remember a thing about killing JFK once he’s outta that hospital.
* **Dan**: Glad we got to change history for the greater good of JFK. Instead of the Zapruder film, we got the Danruder film! *(Dan turns off video camera and puts it away)* Now that we’re done with our little side-quest, we’re gonna have to blend in with the 1963 crowd of kids until my watch’s time travel option is available.
* **Logan**: What about McNeese?
* **Dan**: Eh, let’s just leave him with whatever he’s doing in that multipurpose building until it’s time to go.

*(The scene cuts back to the multipurpose building, where McNeese and the Neo-Nazi members can be seen watching a clip from the 1940 Nazi documentary film, The Eternal Jew on a projection screen, the film is being projected onto the screen through a film projector)*

* **McNeese**: Oh, man, I love this movie!
* **Neo-Nazi Member #3**: Yeah, same here.

*(The scene then cuts to a 15-second panorama of 1963 Dallas. "How Bizarre" by OMC plays in the background. After the panorama ends, the camera cuts to the restaurant Logan and James were at earlier. Inside, they are seen eating burgers, Logan has one, while James has two burgers)*

* **James**: Aw, man! Burgers in the 60s were pretty big!
* **Logan**: Yeah! No wonder you like to have two of them.

*(The two continue eating as they stay on the screen for 2 seconds before the scene cuts to a neighborhood, where the residents are Jewish and black people. On a road, there is a Red van with the Imperial German Flag on it. McNeese and the Neo-Nazi members are seen inside the van. McNeese can be seen holding a megaphone in his left arm while sitting on the right and sticking his head out of the window. He turns on his megaphone and starts shouting at the neighbourhood's residents while one of the Neo-Nazi members starts to drive)*

* **McNeese**: Alright, Yids and Pickaninnies, we're gonna give you 5 seconds to flee the neighborhood!

*(TBA)*

*(Dan's time-travelling watch beeps a couple of times, reminding him th stat the three hours have finally passed and they are ready to go home)*

* **Dan**: Finally! It's time to go home. *(grabs his walkie-talkie and turns it on, transmitting it to Logan)* Logan, are you there? My watch says the three hours are up. We can go home! Meet me in the alley by Joe's Diner whenever you can, and let the others know.
* **Logan**: *(on transmission)* Got it.

*(Dan turns his walkie talkie off, then hurries towards the alley between a market and Joe's Diner. Bobby sees Dan briefly while washing some cups and rushes out the door)*

* **Bobby**: Hey! Where are you, you blue-haired dasher? You didn't pay for your coffee!

*(Scene cuts to Dan hiding behind a trash can in an alley)*

* **Bobby**: You know better than to dine-and-dash, you little bastard! Or in this case, drink-and-dash. Where are you? *(a 2-second pause is heard)* Y'know what, just forget it, I don't wanna do this all night. You win! Just go home and don't dine-and-dash again. *(walks away)* Lousy dashers, always leavin' without payin' for their food!
* **Dan**: Phew...

*(The scene cuts to the multi-purpose building, where McNeese and the Neo-Nazi members are around the front door)*

* **McNeese**: Well, guys, it was fuckin' cool hangin' out with some Neo-Nazi members like you, but sadly, I got a transmission on my walkie talkie by that white crow saying that my train back to Arkansas will arrive in 15 minutes, and, I don't wanna be late. Otherwise, my boss would kill me. I have a job as an accountant, and, it pretty much fuckin' sucks, but...Gotta have that money!
* **Neo-Nazi Member #1**: Whatever you say, McNeese. You've really taught us a lot.
* **Neo-Nazi Member #2**: Your skills in hunting Sheenys, Uncle Toms, and Sheboons have taught us a lot. We will remember you in memory for what you have taught us.
* **Neo-Nazi Member #3**: And your face will be immortalized in our group through a great portrait, which will be put in our hall of fame! Farewell, McNeese, let thy spirit of Mein Fuhrer be with you.
* **McNeese**: Adieu, my fellow Neo-Nazists.

*(McNeese exits through the door. The camera then cuts to the alley, where Logan, James and Tom are seen having met up with Dan. McNeese is seen approaching the boys)*

* **McNeese**: Well, guess it's fuckin' time to go home, you white Pocho. Use that goddamn wristwatch of fuckin' yours, and we're outta here!
* **Dan**: Whatever, racist bastard. *(to everyone)* Everyone hold each other's hands.

*(The five hold each other's hands, McNeese looks irritated by holding Logan and Tom's hands. Dan then sets the settings on his watch. Afterwards, the same purple vortex from before appears on the floor, and the five are sucked into the portal. The scene then cuts to the Greenhill Science Fair in the present day, right after Emma had fixed the time machine's fuel pipe)*

* **Emma**: Let's just hope that wherever and whenever they're going, they don't become dinosaur food. *(Suddenly, the portal from before opens in the time machine, and Dan, Logan, James, Tom, and McNeese all come out of it respectively)* Oh, good, you're back home. Were you guys alright where and *when*ever you went?
* **Dan**: Oh, we went to the day of JFK's assassination, or should I say, what would've been the day of his assassination.
* **Emma**: Huh?
* **Dan**: We went back in time to November 22, 1963, called a mental hospital to commit Lee Harvey Oswald, filmed him in the mental hospital van driving by, and then spent 3 hours hanging out in 1963 before my time travelling watch could fully recharge for us to go home.
* **Emma**: That's good to hear, Dan.
* **Dan**: Thanks, Emma, Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna head back in time to save the dodo. *(to McNeese)* Oh, and McNeese...
* **McNeese**: Yeah, you white negro?
* **Dan**: If you ever touch my time machine again, I will kick your ass *real* hard! I mean it!
* **McNeese**: Okay, okay, fuck off already, Kad-lover.

*(Dan goes back in his time machine and sets his settings. A flash appears and takes Dan into his destination. After a couple seconds,* *Dan arrives* *back* *in his time machine)*

* **Dan**: Alright! I'm back! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the Greenhill Zoo's dodo exhibit.
* **McNeese**: Eh, so what if you saved a dumb flightless bird, his life ain't fuckin' worth it. *(Dan punches his cheek)* OW! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, WHITE PICKANINNY?
* **Dan**: Leave us alone, McNeese! The time machine isn't any of your business, you never built it, and you'll never build your own!
* **Logan**: Yeah, get out of here, racist! We don't need you mocking other countries and races here!
* **McNeese**: Why I oughta... Y'know what? Screw it! If you fuckers want to be alone, I'll leave you all alone, okay? I'm fuckin' done for today!

*(The scene cuts to a view of Greenhill Elementary at night, with a banner reading "XXVIII GREENHILL SCIENCE FAIR" in a marker-like font hanging above the school's sign under the roof. In the gymnasium, everyone has their projects ready while McNeese can be seen standing near the door. He then turns around and starts plotting to himself)*

* **McNeese**: Damn. That Kadvlok Union-lover won't stop *me* from touching his time machine. I wonder... *(Thinks to himself, and then clicks his fingers in realization)* A-ha! If that blue-haired asshole could save that flightless bird, then *I* could save the Confederacy! But how could I do that? *(Thinks to himself again)* That's it, I could break into that blue-haired queer's bedroom at night and steal his time machine! You're a fuckin' genius, Fred.

*(The scene then fade transitions to the front of Dan's house at night, where all the lights but the one in Dan's room are off)*

* **Cheryl**: *(off-screen)* Good night, Danny-kins.
* **Dan**: *(off-screen)* Good night, Mom. I'll see you in the morning.

*(The lights in Dan's room are then turned off. 2 seconds later, a ladder comes out of the ground up to Dan's room window. McNeese, wearing ashface, climbs it up. When he gets up there, he breaks the window open. The sound is loud, but nobody seems to notice. He then enters the room, suddenly, he notices Dan slowly waking up. To avoid being caught, he grabs out a bat and hits him with it, knocking him out. McNeese then pulls out a flashlight and shines it on his closet, where his time machine is inside. He also notices Dan's time watch and cloning gun, which he also takes. Afterwards, he enters the time machine, enters his destination, and then leaves as a blue flash of light appears in the machine)*

## Confederate States of America/April 12, 1861

*(The scene cuts to the front of Dan's house, where the sun is seen rising. Edward Grieg's "Peer Gynt - Morning Mood" plays in the background. After a 4-second view of the house, we cut to the inside of Dan's room, where the sun slowly shines in his room all the way to his bed. His alarm clock turns to 6:00 and goes off. Dan wakes up from the alarm yawning, turns his alarm off, and looks at his poster of Michael Vlokozu by his bed)*

* **Dan**: *(in an El Kadsreian-accent)* Good morning, Sir Mikey. Today's gonna be a beautiful day, today. *(Dan gets out of his bed and walks to his window)* The sky is blue like the Union, the sun is shining, the grass is green, the flowers are blooming, the park is filled with playing children, the Confederate flag in the park is waving, our neighbors ar- *(The music abruptly stops on a record scratch as Dan returns to his normal accent)* WAIT, *WHAT?!* CONFEDERATE FLAG?!

*(The scene cuts to a 2-second shot of the park's Confederate flag while a dramatic chord plays. The scene then cuts back to Dan's room)*

* **Dan**: Oh, god! Was the park vandalized by racist skinheads last night? That's not supposed to be there! I better tell mom.

*(Dan leaves his room and rushes downstairs)*

* **Dan**: Mom, there's something wrong at the park. *(Dan walks into the kitchen)* A Confederate flag is in place of the usual Amer-

*(Cheryl can be seen whipping a black woman with a whip, later revealed to be Tom's mother. Dan is shocked)*

* **Jenna**: OW! Please, Mrs. Evans, stop!
* **Cheryl**: I *said*, you are gonna make our breakfast, *right now*, Jenna! Don't be a bratty coon! It breaks the eggs on the pan, or else it gets the whip again!

*(Dan snatches the whip from Cheryl's hand and throws it on the floor)*

* **Dan**: Mom, are you living in the 1850s? You *can't* just whip Mrs. Coleman like that, that's slavery and racism.
* **Cheryl**: Silly, Dan, you know we own Jenna and her family as our slaves.
* **Dan**: What?

*(A beaten Tom walks into the room)*

* **Tom**: D-D-Dan, your ma owns me, my father, and my mother as slaves. Y-You're basically...O-O-Our masters.
* **Dan**: What?! M-Mom, is this a joke?
* **Cheryl**: What are you talking about, Danny-kins? This is the way things in America have always been.
* **Dan**: No, that was the old way! W-What are you even saying?
* **Cheryl**: You seem pretty frustrated right now, how about a glass of Uncle Toad's Slave-made Apple Juice? *(she whips Jenna)* Jenna, pour my son a glass of Uncle Toad's *now!*
* **Jenna**: Y-Yes, Mrs. Evans.
* **Cheryl**: With your Uncle Toad's, how about I have Jenna make you some Mammy's Famous Pancakes with Aunt Jemima syrup? They're your favorite!
* **Dan**: Uh.. I'm actually not hungry right now, mom, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going out.
* **Cheryl**: Alright. Oh, and if you see some slaves trying to escape, just call the ADFA, Anti-Drapetomanic Force of America, they'll know what to do.
* **Dan**: Got it. *(Dan leaves the house and closes the door shocked)* Anti-Drapetomanic Force of America? Uncle Toad's Slave-made Apple Juice? Mammy's Famous Pancakes? I don't know what any of those brands are, and they're probably controversial. Pray to god that was just a cruel, sick joke.

*(The scene then cuts to a montage of Dan walking around Greenhill, which, according to a police building, is now called Coonhill. He sees apartment complexes filled with white people owning black people as slaves and making them to tasks like, farming, gardening, painting, and cooking. He also sees an ADFA van driven by Drew Sanderson capturing an escaped slave)*

* **Drew**: Seems like somebody's a bit Drapetomanic. We're taking you to the Mental Institution for Escaped Slaves, where you'll learn to accept your place in society, you n\*gger!
* **Dan**: *(to himself)* Oh, god...Drew may be from the South, but he's not from *that* part of the South!

*(Dan then turns around to see slaves working in an urban homestead. He then turns around and looks at something in shock. The camera then cuts to what he's looking at, a billboard promoting a minstrel show movie called, "Coonskinnies")*

* **Dan**: Oh, my god! Where am I?

*(Dan rushes back to his house as fast-paced jazz music begins to play. As Dan arrives back at his house and opens the door, he sees his dad wearing a red bowtie and a black top hat dressed in blackface. He is walking away and looking from the left)*

* **Johnny**: Alright, honey, I'm off to perform at my show! *(in a stereotypical black accent)* Man, theys gonna be lovin' Jonesy tonight!

*(Johnny notices Dan as his jaw cartoonishly drops to the ground in shock over what he's seeing. After a second, Dan notices his jaw and then uses his hand to lift it back into place)*

* **Dan**: Dad?! A-Are you wearing blackface?
* **Johnny**: *(in normal accent)* What are you talking about, son? *(in stereotypical black accent)* I'm Jonesy, the best darn coon there is!

*(Johnny hands him a flyer, which has Johnny and seven other performers wearing blackface and dressed in costumes. On the top is a text that says, "Jonesy AND THE 7 DARKYS" On the bottom left is a redhaired man wearing a fedora, above him is a text saying, "Featuring music composed by John McCruley". Dan puts the flyer away as Johnny puts a VHS tape into the TV)*

* **Dan**: What the fu- Dad, I have *no* idea what you're talkin' about!
* **Johnny**: Then maybe this'll ring a bell.

*(The scene cuts to the RDA TV, where Johnny, under his "Jonesy" persona and another minstrel performer are on stage with a farm as a background)*

* **Jonesy**: Goddamn, Hannon! Farmer Williams' gonna be back from his auntie's any minute! We oughta get outta here, 'cause we know he don't like darkys snoopin' in his shed.

*(The audience laughs)*

* **Hannon**: But Jonesy, what we gon' do? Williams' got a pair of rabbit's feet! Which means, he'll have a high chance of screwin' us up and turnin' us into coonskin hats!

*(The audience laughs as a car engine is heard. Jonesy hears it)*

* **Jonesy**: Aw, shit! He's back! We betta hide right now!

*(Jonesy and Hannon hide behind a big toolbox. Afterwards, a white actor dressed as a farmer comes onto the stage with a prop gun full of blanks)*

* **Williams**: Alright, where the hell are you, you damn nigras? Y'all know better than to snoop 'round in my shed! When I find ya, I'm gonna shoot yer legs down into oblivi- *(Williams notices the two behind the toolbox)* A-HA! YOU FUCKIN' RASCALOUS PORCH MONKEYS ARE DEAD TO ME!

*(Jonesy and Hannon begin running away from Williams)*

* **Hannon**: Run, Jonesy, run! Farmer Williams got his lucky Nigra-killin' gun, he's gon' make us into N\*gger apple-

*(William shoots his leg with a blank, causing Hannon to fall down and scream in pain)*

* **Hannon**: OW! MAH LEG, MAH FUCKIN' DARKY LEG! AUNTIE, AUNTIE, *(The audience laughs hard as they applause)* *AUUUUNNNNTIIIEEEEEE!!!*

*(Dan turns off the TV)*

* **Dan**; *(sheepishly)* Oh, yeah, I remember now, Dad...G-Good luck at your show.

*(Johnny walks out of the house.* *Dan* *then* *rushes upstairs to his room, closes his door and then sits at his desk)*

* **Dan**: This isn't right! My mom owning Tom and his parents as slaves, slavery and racism being legal, modern mentioning of Drapetomania, Drew Sanderson kidnapping slaves, my Dad, a minstrel show performer?! I gotta log on to the net! *(Dan turns on his computer and types down on his keyboard)* "Who won the American Civil War"?

*(Dan looks at the results and is shocked. The results say, "The Confederacy had won the Civil War in 1852 thanks to a mysterious redhaired person." Dan hyperventilates for 5 seconds before fainting in shock. Afterwards, a black screen is shown for 2-seconds before fading to Dan's room's floor, where Dan gets up after 3 seconds. He looks at his clock and sees that it is now midnight)*

* **Dan**: Oh, god. Seeing results for the Confederacy winning the civil war is even worse than that deleted scene from Sha-Ba-La-Ka-Zoo!. I gotta free Tom from his shackles.

*(The scene cuts to the backyard of Dan's house, where a shed can be seen in front of the patio door. Dan walks up to it)*

* **Dan**: This must be where Tom and his family are forced to stay in.

TBA

* **McNeese**: Ugh, my fuckin' head...At least things can't get any motherfucking worse than this bullshit.

*(Dan's flashlight turns on, facing him. Dan is seen sitting on his bed shocked while holding the flashlight. After a quick gasp, he quietly screeches for 2.5 seconds before spraying his eyes with a pepper spray bottle. McNeese groans and screams in pain as he covers his eyes. After 3 seconds, the camera cuts to Johnny and Cheryl's bedroom, where Cheryl wakes up gasping in shock as she hears McNeese's scream. The camera then cuts back to Dan's bedroom, where McNeese is seen lying on the floor rolling sideways)*

* **McNeese**: *(screams in agony)* YOU FUCKING KAD-LOVING HONKY PICKANINNY!! YOU SPRAYED MY EYES WITH FUCKING PEPPER SPRAY! WHAT IS YOUR MOTHERFUCKING PROBLEM, YOU WHITE NEGRO?!

*(Cheryl opens Dan's door afraid)*

* **Cheryl**: Danny-kins, are you o- *(turns on light switch, then gasps; her expression turns angry)* Mr. McNeese! By the power of Neptune, what do you think you're doing in my Danny-kins' bedroom?
* **McNeese**: "Danny-kins"? Your fucking mother calls you fuckin' Danny-kins? *(McNeese laughs hysterically)* You're a fuckin' retard to let your momma call you that.
* **Cheryl**: Get out of my house, now!
* **McNeese**: Mrs. Evans, your son just pepper spra-
* **Cheryl**: I don't care what my son did, you deserved it! Get out before I call the cops!
* **McNeese**: Alright, al-fucking-right, I'm leavin', I'm leavin'. Don't fuck with it, you skank.
* **Cheryl**: *(yelling at McNeese)* AND DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME A "SKANK" AGAIN! *(talks to herself)* God, we've been trying to get him banned from the school ever since he was instated. Goddamn racist and sexist. *(to Dan)* Did he hurt you, Danny-kins?
* **Dan**: No, it looks like he just broke into my room. *(looks at open closet)* Looks like he was heading for my time machine and was gonna use it to change the past. I gotta put a security system on that thing in the morning.
* **Cheryl**: Well, I'm just glad you're alright, Danny-kins. Go back to sleep.

*(Cheryl turns off the light switch and closes Dan's door. Dan heads back to sleep)*

## Kayos-Free Sentanese Empire/October 16, 1939

*(The scene then cuts to a 2-second shot of Dan's house in the morning before cutting inside Dan's room, where he is seen programming and installing a security system on his time machine)*

* **Time Machine A.I.**: Security system successfully installed.
* **Dan**: There we go! Now to test it...

(Dan puts a dummy resembling McNeese in front of the time machine. The machine detects it)

* **A.I.**: Alert! McNeese detected! *(A laser begins to charge up)* Activating anti-McNeese defense system.

*(The time machine launches a blue beam, which restrains the dummy as the beam turns into a rope like circle. An alarm then goes off on the machine. Dan turns it off, his father walks into the room)*

* **Johnny**: You okay, son?
* **Dan**: Oh, I’m fine, I’m just testing out my time machine’s new security system.
* **Johnny**: Oh, alright.

*(Johnny leaves the room)*

* **Dan**: There we go! Now I won't have to worry about McNeese screwing up the past. *(sighs)* I think I'll go out to the mall with Emma.

*(Dan leaves his room and goes downstairs)*

* **Dan**: Mom, I'm going out to the mall!

*(The scene cuts to a 3-second shot of the Greenhill Mall outside before cutting to the inside of the mall and the Parliament Cinema 10, the mall's cinema. On the marquee, the text on the top says, "VLOKOZU SYNDROME" and has a PG-13 rating symbol next to it. The center text says, "EVAN ALMIGHTY" and features a PG rating symbol next to it. And the bottom text says, "HARRY POTTER 5" and features a PG-13 rating symbol next to it. Dan and Emma are seen walking out of the cinema)*

* **Dan**: Man! That movie was so awesome. If that actually happened to Vlokozu, I would help him reunite the Union.
* **Emma**: I liked that movie, too, Dan. And to be honest, it would actually be crazy if someone never aged physically while they were in a coma.
* **Dan**: Yeah. Let's get some sundaes at Aaron's, my treat.
* **Emma**: Alright.

*(The scene then cuts to the inside of Aaron's Ice Creamery. Where a clerk, Larry is seen carrying a tray of two sundaes, one chocolate and the other strawberry, and a chocolate bar)*

* **Larry**: Here's your two sundaes, Mr. Evans, and, per usual, would you like me to mudslide your sundae with crumbled Vicnoran chocolate?
* **Dan**: You know I love it.

*(Larry opens up the chocolate bar, takes a piece off of it and crumbles the piece into the ice cream)*

* **Dan**: Thanks, Larry.
* **Larry**: *(leaves table)* Anytime, Dan.
* **Dan**: *(talks to Emma while stirring the pieces of chocolate into the ice cream)* Emma, it's no doubt that Vicnoran-imported chocolate's one of the best things to put on ice cream out there. I mean, every time I visit El Kadsreian supermarkets, Vicnoran chocolate is literally the first thing I would get. *(takes a bite of his sundae)* Mmm. Off-topic, do you wanna know something about the Eight-Day War?
* **Emma**: Hmm?
* **Dan**: The Eight-Day War originated from Hiroshi Kayos' plans to turn the Sentanese Empire into a republic ten years ago. His plans and thoughts resulted in him being exiled from Sentan due to the army rejecting his Republican views. As a result, he formed his own country, the Kadsreius Sentanese Republic, which would later become El Kadsre. The war didn't begin from there, though, otherwise they'd call it the Ten-Year War. The war actually began when Kayos and some Mahrian troops launched a surprise attack on the northern island of the former Empire ten years after his expulsion. I mean, can you not believe that Kayos managed to claim an entire empire bigger than the KSR and turn it into El Kadsre over eight days? That is crazy!
* **Emma**: Well, that's an interesting story, Dan, but... What *is* El Kadsre, and who *is* Hiroshi Kayos?
* **Dan**: What? How could you not know what Kayos and El Kadsre are? We learned about Kayos in school before McNeese took over, and El Kadsre's been around, right by North America since Arito broke up! Also, we saw an El Kadsreian movie. Well, it was El Kadsreian-American, but you know what I mean.
* **Emma**: Dan, I don't think such a person and a country would even exist. I mean, with a name like, "El Academy", that sounds like a failing college in Latin America. Also, we never saw a movie from that fake country you keep talking about, we saw Evan Almighty. What are you, living in the Sentanese Islands?
* **Dan**: Emma, are you messing with me? You *know* what El Kadsre is, I'm obsessed with the country! Also, the Sentanese Islands today, is called the El Kadsreian Islands, Emma.
* **Emma**: Look, Dan, I'm gonna give you my world atlas, *(hands Dan the atlas),* you're gonna try to find a map of that country, and you'll find evidence that the country you're talking about doesn't exist.
* **Dan**: Okay.

*(Dan opens the book and flicks through the pages. He lands on a map of North America and the El Kadsreian Islands, and realizes that El Kadsre has completely vanished, with the Sentanese Empire in its place and the archipelago on the map being called the Sentanese Islands)*

* **Dan**: Hold on, something doesn't seem right here... This shouldn't say the 'Sentanese Islands'.

*(He flicks to the final page, looks through a list of countries, and lands on the 'E' section. He sees 'Egypt', and then realizes that 'El Kadsre' isn't there. A dramatic chord plays and Dan stares at the page for 2 seconds as a dramatic horn plays. He then puts the atlas back on the table)*

* **Emma**: *Now* do you see what I'm talking about?
* **Dan**: *(quickly)* I gotta go!

*(Dan leaves his and Emma's seat in a hurry, confusing Emma. The scene cuts to a nearby table, where Larry is seen carrying 2 vanilla ice cream cones on cone holders, which are planted on a tray. He notices Dan leaving)*

* **Larry**: Grr... Duncan must've swapped the Vicnoran bars with Laxatives again! I don't know why that racist kid works here.

*(The scene cuts to a road in downtown Greenhill, where some cars are driving by each other on the road while Dan rides his hoverboard above them. The scene then cuts to the front of Dan's house, where Dan stops riding his hoverboard. He then grabs it and hurries inside)*

* **Cheryl**: Danny-kins! You're back from the mall alread- *(Dan rushes past her in shock. Cheryl ignores his shocked expression)* Whoa! Looks like you're in a hurry! Is a new Technic Heroes series making its American premiere? I better check the local listings.

*(Dan enters his room, puts his hoverboard down, and goes on his computer)*

* **Dan**: Oh my god, this is *so* not right! El Kadsre's gone, but what about Kayos? *(Dan begins typing in a hurry)* H-I-R-O-S-H-I-space-K-A-Y-O-S... *(No results of Hiroshi Kayos showed up, but he instead gets results for an event called, "The 1939 Sentanese Army Bombing")* Sentanese army bombing? *(clicks on an article and reads it)* On October 16, 1939, a day that will live on in infamy towards the Sentanese Empire, a hijacked bomber plane from the United States army flew over a Sentanese army base near Fusa and killed several people, including soldiers, generals, sergeants, captains, and lieutenants. As a result, we fought against the United States in World War II for 6 months until a treaty was filed between both countries. Oh, God, this can't be happening! Without Hiroshi Kayos, there's no El Kadsre. A-And with no El Kadsre... *(Dan gasps in realization and shock)* No Michael Vlokozu! I wonder who bombed that base... *(he is seen thinking for 3 seconds until he turns to a picture of Logan on the wall)* Of course... Logan must've found out about the perpetrator's plan and went after them. I gotta help him stop that bomber.

*(Dan gets up from his chair, opens his closet, and goes back into his time machine. A blue flash appears as Dan goes back in time. The scene then cuts to a view of the sea, where a text below saying, "somewhere near Fusa; October 16, 1939" appears on screen for 2 seconds before fading out as the camera zooms in towards an American bomber plane flying to Sentan. The camera then pans to reveal Dan on his hoverboard chasing after the plane)*

* **Dan**: I've gotten El Kadsre out of sticky situations before, but this one's my most dangerous but still undoable one, yet.

*(Dan hovers closer to the plane as the camera zooms in to the plane's front window and cockpit, revealing the pilot to be none other than Logan wearing sunglasses as a dramatic chord plays)*

* **Logan**: *(In T-1000 accent)* Hasta la vista, Hiroshi.

*(Logan aims his finger at the button, but as he is about to press it, Dan breaks in through the side door of the plane with his hoverboard. He begins walking towards the pilot chair)*

* **Dan**: You know what they say, spare the base and spoil your fun!

*(Dan turns the chair and immediately recognizes Logan as a dramatic chord plays)*

* **Dan**: *HUH?!* LOGAN??
* **Logan**: *(quickly)* Uh-oh!

*(Logan quickly heads for the button, but Dan grabs his arm before he manages to press it. The scene then cuts to the two fighting over the controls)*

* **Logan**: I-I-It's not what you think I'm doing!
* **Dan**: *(struggling)* I don't know what you're doing, Logan, but I'm not letting you bomb *(Dan flicks Logan's shades off with his hand)* -that base!

*(The scene cuts to the outside of the plane, where it slowly begins falling towards the base. After 4 seconds, the scene cuts to the base, where a Sentanese soldier sees the plane falling through his binoculars)*

* **Soldier**: *(in Japanese; subtitled)* General Kayos! Look at this!
* **Kayos**: *(in Japanese; subtitled)* What is it?
* **Soldier**: *(in Japanese; subtitled)* An American bomber plane is heading right for us! *(points at plane)* It's gonna collide with either this base, Fusa, or both! We've got to do something, fast!

*(The scene cuts back to the plane's cockpit, where Dan and Logan are still fighting for the controls as an alarm goes off on the control panel. The two notice it for a second before screaming for 2 seconds, Dan pushes Logan out of the way and pilots the plane out of collision with the base and flies it back into the sky)*

* **Dan**: Phew! *(grabs megaphone, opens a side window, and speaks outside of the window with it. In Japanese; subtitled)* Attention, Sentanese army men, please heed my apology. This bomber plane was hijacked by a terrorist and was intending to bomb your base. Have a nice day!
* **Soldier**: *(in Japanese; subtitled)* Ah, thank god! The Empire is safe once more.

*(The scene cuts back to the cockpit, where Dan closes the window and puts the megaphone away)*

* **Dan**: Logan, you've got some explainin' to d-HUH?!

*(Dan turns around to see Logan and his hoverboard gone. He then turns around to see the door having been left open)*

* **Dan**: Crap! He’s escaped with my hoverboard! I've gotta stop him!

*(Dan puts on a wingsuit and jumps through the door and chases after Logan. After 9 seconds, Dan manages to keep up with Logan and takes his hoverboard off him, causing Logan to fall on a sandy beach terrain and injure himself. He groans in pain)*

* **Logan**: Oh, God...My back!

*(Dan, now on his hoverboard, hovers towards the ground before he gets off and pins Logan to the ground while confronting him)*

* **Dan**: What's the story, Logan? Why the flippin' hell were you planning to bomb that Sentanese base?!
* **Logan**: *(nervously)* Uh...Uh, I wasn't planning on boming that base at all!
* **Dan**: *(skeptical)* Oh, yeah?
* **Logan**: I was blackmailed by McNeese! H-H-He said that if I didn't bomb that army base, he would burn my house down and upload nude photos of my mom on the net!

*(Dan stares suspiciously at Logan for 4 seconds before the scene immediately cuts to McNeese's house, where he is seen reading a book. Suddenly, Dan bursts in through is door and runs up to him)*

* **McNeese**: Huh? *(Dan grabs his arm and twists the bone, rupturing it. McNeese screams in agony)* *OWW!!* FUCK!! YOU GODDAMN VLOK-WORSHIPER, YOU TWISTED MY FUCKING ARM!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?
* **Dan**: FOR MAKING MY BEST FRIEND TRY TO BOMB KAYOS IN THE PAST, DUMBASS! Oh, and in case you don't know who Kayos is, HE'S THE FOUNDER OF EL KADSRE, RACIST!

*(Dan leaves the room as McNeese groans in agony)*

## The Soviet-Nazis/December 29, 1940

*(Dan returns to his room in the present through his time machine, where he sighs in relief)*

* **Dan**: There! Now I won't have to worry about anyone else messing with the past anymore. Now, I can just relax, watch kadsresatsu movies, and-

*(Dan is suddenly interrupted by an explosion from outside his house, which causes his room to shake for 2 seconds)*

* **Dan**: What the fuck?!

*(The scene cuts to the front door outside of Dan's house, where Dan opens up the door and looks outside. He gasps in shock over what he's seeing. The camera zooms out to reveal that everything, including his home, has become a desolate warfield filled with Soviet and Nazi tanks and planes, along with American soldiers being shot down as a dramatic fanfare plays)*

* **Dan**: Oh God, Oh GOD! Nazi and Soviet tanks, planes, weaponry, and soldiers?! Oh, no, I wouldn't have built that damn time machine if I knew this was gonna happen! I've gotta do something!

*(Dan is about to flee the warzone until a Soviet general with Soviet and Nazi soldiers catch him)*

* **Bobinsky**: *(in Russian; subtitled)* Hey! Who are you?
* **Dan**: *(in Russian; subtitled)* Oh, um, sorry sir... uh, I am...
* **Bobinsky**: *(in Russian; subtitled)* Wait a minute... *(gasps in shock)* YOU'RE AN AMERICAN KID!!
* **Dan**: Oh, crap!
* **Bobinsky**: *(to the soldiers, in Russian; subtitled)* THERE IS AN AMERICAN KID RIGHT THERE! GET HIM!

*(Dan hurriedly runs away as the soldiers begin firing their guns at him. The scene cuts to a war-ridden street with Soviet tanks, where Dan enters an alleyway and hides behind a dumpster. Afterwards, the soldiers rush past the alleyway, still chasing Dan. After 3 seconds, Dan comes out of hiding and sighs in relief)*

* **Dan**: Thank god.

*(Dan notices a hatch on the ground, where he walks up to it and knocks on it to Shave and a Haircut. Afterwards, the hatch opens slightly and a gun comes out of it and points at Dan, who immediately raises his hands)*

* **Soldier**: *(in vault)* Who goes there?
* **Dan**: Don't shoot! I'm American!
* **Soldier**: Oh, yeah? If you're *really* American, would you know the the answer to this question? Who was the President of the United States before 1940, when this war broke out?
* **Dan**: Easy. Franklin D. Roosevelt.

*(The soldier puts his gun away and fully opens the hatch, revealing his face)*

* **Soldier**: Well, I'm glad to know you're not a Soviet-Nazi, only *they* don't know American history. Get inside.

*(Dan and the soldier go inside the hatch as the camera cuts to the inside of it, revealing the place to be a bomb shelter. Dan and the Soldier sit down after they finish climbing down the ladder)*

* **Soldier**: What the hell were you doing out there without any protective gear, kid? It's a *huge* warzone out there!
* **Dan**: Now, to you, this may sound crazy, but what the fuck is going on? Why are there Soviet and Nazi armies in the present attacking Greenhill?
* **Soldier**: So you don't know, do you?
* **Dan**: I don't even know what's going on at all! Please explain to me what's going on.
* **Soldier**: Well, it's a long story, but I'll tell you. *(The scene fades to a missile control room in 1940 with a general who resembles Drew Sanderson struggling to decide on whether or not to bomb the Soviet Union. The soldier narrates)* It all began on December 29, 1940, when General Harold Sanderson was struggling to decide whether or not to bomb the communists.
* **Harold**: Now, let's see. Should I, or shouldn't I? Hmm... *(turns to other generals)* Hey, do you guys think I should bomb the Soviets?
* **General**: I'm not sure, Harold. We've already got enough trouble with the damn Nazis, but we're not sure about the communists. I'll try to think about it.
* **Harold**: Okay, *(gets quarter out from his invisible pocket)* let's take this decision to the coin.
* **Soldier**: *(narrating)* But as Harold was still deciding...

*(Harold's walkie-talkie statics for a brief moment)*

* **Flashback Soldier**: *(on walkie-talkie)* General Sanderson! We have an intruder, and it's a negro kid!
* **Harold**: What?! A negro? Invading white American territory?! *(Harold accidentally slams his hand on the launch button, firing the missile, which Harold immediately notices and stares in shock and guilt* *nervously)* Whoopsie...

*(The scene cuts to Moscow in the Soviet Union, where several residents are seen casually walking around the capital)*

* **Soldier**: *(narrating)* Harold accidentally fired the bomb at the former-Soviet capital, Moscow. *(The bomb collides with the ground in Moscow, creating a white explosion)* Many lives were lost on that fateful day, *(The flash disappears, where Moscow is now in shambles with fire burning several buildings and people with broken limbs)* and it was from that day forward, that the Soviets would swear revenge on us all.

*(The scene cuts to an animated map of the Eurasian continent, where a red field with a yellow center covers the Soviet Union, while a crimson red field with the black Nazi swastika covers Nazi Germany. The Soviet Union field begins taking out other countries besides Nazi Germany)*

* **Soldier**: *(narrating)* In time, the Soviets recuperated and began attacking nearby countries, except for one, Nazi Germany. After a little discussion, a deal between Hitler and Stalin was made to merge both countries together, *(the fields merge, making the countries one with each other)* forming the damned worldwide dictators we know today as the Soviet-Nazis. *(The scene cuts to a warzone, where American troops and Vicnoran troops are seen facing a far field, where Soviet-Nazi soldiers come in)* When they plotted an attack against us, we teamed up with other countries that were threatened by the Soviet-Nazis, such as the Vicnorans.

*(A US tank targets at the oncoming soldiers)*

* **Vicnoran General**: *(in Vicnoran; subtitled)* Fire at the Soviet-Nazis!

*(The tank fires at the soldiers, and the soldiers fire back. The scene cuts to the sky, where a Soviet-Nazi fighter-bomber jet can be seen flying through the clouds. The jet drops a bomb on the field, killing the American and Vicnoran troops as well as the Soviet-Nazi soldiers. The scene fades back to Dan and the Soldier)*

* **Soldier**: Ever since then, the world has been nothing but the Soviet-Nazis' oyster, basically their equivalent to Kino and the pearl, Kino being the Soviet-Nazis and the pearl being everywhere in the world, except for us Americans.
* **Dan**: Really? How long has America even survived all that catastrophe?
* **Soldier**: Well, it's thanks to advanced genetic technology that we Americans are the only country left the Soviet-Nazis haven't taken.
* **Dan**: Even after all that explaining, I've got no idea what's going on right now, but I need to do something about it! I have a plan to end this war, but I'm gonna have to do it alone.
* **Soldier**: If your plan works, god bless you and America for ending this life-long war. Be sure to take some equipment with you before you go back out there.

*(Dan turns right and runs out of the bomb shelter. The scene then cuts to the street, where Dan can be seen running. Behind him, a bomb hits the hatch containing the bomb shelter and explodes, creating a massive hole in the ground. The scene cuts back to the bomb shelter, where pieces of the ceiling start to fall because of the explosion. A huge piece of the ceiling falls on the soldier, crushing and killing him in the process. The scene then cuts to Dan's house, where he can be seen running upstairs to his room. When he enters his room, he gets in the time machine and tries pressing the buttons on his time machine, but they don't work, so he runs back down to the kitchen. He opens his fridge and tries looking for a can of Technic but realizes that he's out of Technic)*

* **Dan**: Shit, I'm out of Technic. How can I get some without being killed by those damn Soviet-Nazis? *(pauses and thinks for two seconds, then clicks his fingers in realization)* That's it! I'll go to Vicnora to get some! Surely, they've got Technic over there.

*(Dan runs to his room, grabs his hoverboard, and then flies off into the sky. The scene cuts to a street in Tugaganda. A text, reading: 'Tugaganda, S.N.S. Vicnora', fades in at the bottom and lasts for four seconds. Dan lands in the streets and gets off his hoverboard)*

* **Dan**: Okay, there should be a store around here. But first, *(Dan puts on a Soviet-Nazi ushanka and a Soviet-Nazi wristband as a disguise; in Russian; subtitled)* I have to blend in.

*(Dan walks through the streets before coming across a Soviet-Nazi couple standing next to a statue of Hitler and Stalin, they both salute towards it)*

* **Couple**: *(together; one in a Russian accent, one in a German accent)* Heil Hitler, Heil Stalin!

TBA