ARMOR

**ARMOR** is a power-up in Does Not Commute. Sold by Crazy Bob's, it coats the car in protective material used as armor to make the car invincible. However, it will make the car very slow, and reduce the acceleration to almost nothing. (Robert "Crazy Bob" Foley, however, witnessed the armor fail and produced a disclaimer saying that insurance cannot be claimed.)

"Purchase of ARMOR avoids all collision and liability insurance."

## When to use?

After the eighth car [on the ninth car, Mr. Wilson] of The Beach, you unlock the third of three power-ups (Four, if "Practice Mode" counts), **ARMOR**. When you equip ARMOR, you gain complete invincibility from all crashes. Nothing can hurt you. The downside is that your car is significantly slower than usual and you accelerate much slower as well. And no, not the same speed decrease as TRACTION CONTROL, this one is much bigger. You car is slowed down to a crawl with ARMOR on. Use this only if you're sure you're going to crash otherwise. Or if you just want to mess around and fly off the map (yes, cars no longer crash. Instead, when hit, they might bounce off objects such as buildings and other cars. It will cause a lot of glitches...).

## Example Uses

Non-smoky cars are assumed to be using armor in the pictures.

Mr. Satelle bumping Mr. HallMr. Price wore the armor to prevent crashing. (Clark Jensen also. He is buried under several other crashed cars.)Dr. Brown, being very fast in a sports car, would break Ni-Ko Bim-Zawang's antique car unless it wore ARMOR.Surrounded by cars, Charles Schneider would most definitely break if not for the armor.The same here. (Ni-Ko Bim-Zawang would have been crashed around by the sedans and sports cars a lot, and would be emitting smoke right now, if it also weren't for the armor.)The cars wore the armor (except Ms. Donnahue with TRACTION CONTROL). (Mr. Sculley is drifting professionally with TURBO instead.)The golf carts wore the armor to prevent being crashed by Clark Jensen.Non-smoky cars obviously wore the armor, especially the Charles Schneiders, golf carts, and Clark Jensen.Dr. Brown can bump two (very shaky and smoky) Future Cars with the armor, without breaking.Bumping into the Future Cars is no problem - Dr. Brown can just push past them and reach 88, and time travel!Mrs. Stewart can also bump two (very shaky and smoky) Future Cars, with the armor.Ms. Donnahue wearing the armor to slow down and crash Julia and three Future Cars.Dr. Brown's pileup.jpgWith the armor, the sedans and sports cars can be protected from crashing into a damaged Mr. Sculley, Mr. Lee, Duncan or Mr. Ferssel.Mrs. Clemons pushing Lord Ridley.jspgBeing subject to so many bumps, the cars here would have to wear the armor to not crash and fill the air with smoke like Ms. Reid.With the armor on, Dr. Brown can bump into Mrs. Stewart and Mr. Ferssel without breaking (all the better for time travel!)For Mr. Kirby and Charles Schneider not to crash and break, they obviously wore the armor.On the way to the Metropolis/Future, a huge car pileup ensued after Ms. Donnahue ran a campaign to lead everyone into the future. (Luckily, most wore **ARMOR**.)The Charles Schneiders, Ben Womack, and police officer Johnsson are investgating why Mr. Shepard came here, before the laser road joined.Ms. Donnahue is chasing after Mrs. Smith for her apples, and Ben Womack and two Charles Schneiders are surrounding Mr. Shepard, crashing him to extract information from him about the Metropolis/Future. ([[Police officer Johnsson and retired Dentist Charles Schneider are watching from behind.)Mr. Ruiz is very confused about that voice, and is going with Ms. Donnahue to see the Lee twins.Mrs. Smith wants to give some apples to Ms. Donnahue! (Wearing the armor, Mrs. Smith can stop drifting as much, continuing on a straight path to avoid falling into the pit or crashing into the Checkpoint sign, or the buildings.)To avoid crashing into the kerb or the tunnels' walls of the City (Night), Mrs. Clemons used the armor to carefully bump into them instead, and slowly turn out to reverse from the tunnel, and continue to follow Mr. Clemons.Ni-Ko Bim-Zawang, wearing ARMOR, crashed Charles Schneider, and then Mrs. More.The cars, with ARMOR on, are crashing Mrs. More.Ni-Ko Bim-Zawang, wearing ARMOR, crashed Mrs. More into the huge pileup of Future Cars.
## Radio commercial

**"Ladies and gentlemen, what if you could do whatever you want and to do it without any consequences!"
What if that was the case!?
Well, guess what, now it is.
You could be the maniac you truly are inside of your heart!
I know, I know what you got going up on in there!
And that your heart of yours, YOUR DARN MANIA!!"
(Maniacal laughter)
So listen up, come on down to Crazy Bob's!
We got probiotic armor for your car that'll make you drive like a rock star!
That's my motto at Crazy Bob's, Downtown, come on down, QUIT SCREWING AROUND!
Purchase of Armor avoids all collision and liability insurance."**

As you can clearly see, "ARMOR" might fail on you. Maybe if you crashed really hard (like this accident: ), the "probiotic armor" will fail, unfortunately, "Crazy Bob" has foreseen such a situation as this and has made sure the product avoids insurance for the client's car. So if you buy "ARMOR" and you crash and it doesn't work, well, you just wasted your money on something that avoids your insurance claims. Tough luck for you then!

## Example laser road accidents

The armor somehow worked, as Ni-Ko Bim-Zawang and Charles Schneider only bumped into each other, and did not crash. (Other attempts were not so successful.)