Sexy and I Know It

*Todd...just sits at the piano with his arms folded.*

***LMFAO - SEXY AND I KNOW IT*** *(video displays **SEXY AS I KNOW IT**)*

*Play the song, Todd.*

**Todd**: No!

*Seriously? Play the damn song, Todd.*

No, I'm not going to.

*Oh, for the love of Christ, do it.*

No, no, nuh-uh, no.

I cannot believe I'm reviewing another LMFAO song!

*Video for "Sexy and I Know It"*
**RedFoo**: When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly
**Todd (VO)**: Oh, yeah, let's show it to everyone. Why should I suffer alone?

**Todd**: Yeah, you see, LMFAO are *[single cover]* sexy...and they know it...and they want you to know it. And that can only mean one thing.

*Clip from* The Simpsons
**Troy McClure**: Hardcore nudity!
**LMFAO**: I'm sexy and I know it
*RedFoo rips off his pants, prominently displaying his bulge in a blue Speedo, and begins thrusting towards the camera.* *Todd's jaw drops*
I'm sexy and I know it
*As everyone in the video, including Ron Jeremy, looks on... a clip from* The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy *is shown, in which the world explodes*
**Todd (VO)**: And then the world exploded. Yes, the entire planet detonated in a fiery ball of doom, instantly rendering the entirety of the human race permanently extinct...

**Todd**: ...meaning that I was unable to continue reviewing this song any longer. *[Beat]* \*sigh\* God, I wish.

**LMFAO**: I'm sexy and I know it
**Todd (VO)**: Oh, yes, they're dancing in Speedos. This is what you wanted, America...

**Todd**: ...and you got it. No, no, let's....

**Todd (VO)**: ...let's all enjoy it a little more.

*[Singing] If you're sexy and you know it, flop your dick*

Flop, flop, flop, the jiggling is almost hypnotic.

**Todd**: Oh, God, all the *Simpsons* references in the world aren't gonna get me through this.

**Todd (VO)**: Okay, let's back this up. Remember *[clip of...]* "Party Rock Anthem," LMFAO's first big hit? Remember how I told you how I thought it was
totally played out and tired, admittedly clever video notwithstanding?

**Todd**: Well, it became *abundantly* clear to me that LMFAO were never...

*Clip of...*
**Todd (VO)**: ...going to release a song that good again when I heard their next single, "Champagne Showers," a disastrously bad thing that gave us a virtual carbon copy of the "Party Rock Anthem" video and a seriously annoying hook.

**LMFAO**: Pop it in the club
We light it up 80 hour
**Todd (VO)**: And when that single went nowhere, I was more than happy to assume that that meant the end of their careers.

**Todd**: But, as I've proven, I have a remarkably bad track record at predicting who's gonna have a second hit, and that is why...

**Todd (VO)**: ...sitting atop of the charts right now is another LMFAO song, and it is much, *much* worse than I could have ever feared.

**Todd**: It could only be what it is, folks. Keep it going.

**RedFoo**: We headed to the bar, baby don't be nervous
No shoes, no shirt, and I still get service
**Todd (VO)**: Hi-larious. Bet you get service by the cops, you talentless hacks.

**LMFAO**: Girl look at that body
Girl look at that body
**RedFoo**: I work out
**Todd**: How do I describe this? Okay, well, I said in the "Party Rock Anthem" review that LMFAO remind me of a less-inspired version *[clip from "The Time (Dirty Bit)]* of the Black Eyed Peas, but "Sexy and I Know It" makes them seem more like *[clips of "Jack Sparrow" by...]* a Lonely Island that's not funny, or perhaps a *[...and "Earache My Eye" by...]* Cheech & Chong with worse taste in music. Actually, no, the best description that I can find for this song is that it's basically a musical version of this:

*Clip from* Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
**Fat Bastard**: Look at that now. I'm dead sexy. Look at my sexy body.
**Todd**: Okay, now imagine that Mike Myers wrote a tie-in song for *Austin Powers 2* where Fat Bastard sang, and that's what we've got here.

**Fat Bastard**: *[over song; repeated]* I'm dead sexy...sexy
**Todd**: I honestly kinda prefer this.

**RedFoo**: When I'm at the beach, I'm in a Speedo trying to tan my cheeks (what)
(BUTTS LOLOLOLOL)
**Todd (VO)**: These guys have the wit of fifth-graders, and not bright ones, either.

**LMFAO**: I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it
**Todd**: You got passion in your pants? What, like this?

*Clip of Lonely Island - "Jizz in My Pants"*
**Andy Samberg**: Now I jizz in my pants
Don't tell your friends...
**Todd (VO)**: Oh, there I go with the Lonely Island comparisons again. I really need to stop comparing LMFAO to a group that actually knows how to write decent jokes and...

**Todd**: ...for that matter, decent music.

*Clip of "Dick in a Box"*
**Todd (VO)**: You don't even have to be a fan of Samberg and company to acknowledge that they at least know how to write a decent hook. *[Clip from "Like a Boss"]* Even their version of "Like a Boss" wasn't as horribly repetitive as "Sexy and I Know It."

**Lonely Island**: Like a boss
**Andy**: Remember birthdays
**Lonely Island**: Like a boss
*Back to "Sexy and I Know It," as Todd plays the hook*
**Todd**: Repeat til the end of time.

**RedFoo**: When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly
**Todd (VO)**: And, as is their usual MO, the lyrics are so unimportant, they're hardly worth even looking at. Just about the only place they do something that actually surprises me is by making a reference to *[picture of...]* Bruce Leroy, the main character of *[poster of...] The Last Dragon*.

**RedFoo**: And like Bruce Leroy, I got the glow, yo
**Todd (VO)**: And all *that* proves is that LMFAO are the only people alive who actually still care about *The Last Dragon*, *[poster with name circled]* probably because the film was produced by their dad Berry Gordy, who is...

**Todd**: ...need I remind you, the only reason they have careers in the first place. Sho'nuff.

**LMFAO**: Girl look at that body
Girl look at that body
**Todd (VO)**: I mean, yeah, this is stupid, but there's a place for stupidity. It's the smugness I can't stand. I mean, that's the thing. They're not sexy, and they know it. They're also not listenable and they know it.

**Todd**: I mean, that's their worst quality, that they have this noxious level of self-awareness about how bad they are. So much so, that their second album, *[cover of...] Sorry for Party Rocking* could probably have been more accurately named *Sorry for Sucking*. They don't use this self-awareness to say anything new or take them in a different direction. They're just trying to do the same thing as everyone else, but worse.

**LMFAO**: Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah
*[Todd just puts his face in his hands]*
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah
**Todd**: Wiggle, wiggle...wiggle...I...I don't even know what to say about this. I mean, how could this...how could this song be any worse than...I'm sorry. I can't sit this one anymore. I'm done. I'm done. *[kisses hand]* Good night, everybody. *[Shuts off piano and gets ready to leave when...]*

**Oancitizen**: *[putting down book]* Todd!

**Todd**: What?

**Oancitizen**: I am ashamed of you.

**Todd**: What...what did I do?

**Oancitizen**: I sat through a whole film where people had sex with garbage, and you can't get through a simple little song just because it has two men dancing with their underwear *on*?

**Todd**: I...well...it's...it's just really bad, like...

**Oancitizen**: And?! You're a critic! This is what you do!

**Todd**: I...

**Oancitizen**: If you walk away now, you will be neglecting your responsibility as a reviewer, Todd. Doesn't everything, no matter what it is, deserve its day in court? Isn't it your *duty* as a critic to analyze everything that crosses your eye with as much intellectual rigor as you can muster?! Get back in there and do your job!

**Todd**: No, you're right, Kyle. You're right. This *is* my job. And if I don't do it, no one else will. No, you're right, you're right. I can't walk away from this. *[Takes a breath]* Give me a second, guys; we're gonna have to go in deep for this one. *[Takes another breath and puts on glasses beginning...Deep Lyrical Analysis]* Let's do this.

**Todd (VO)**: Now, I've already made it clear that I reject the ideas and values espoused by LMFAO and their output, their most recent effort especially. Not because I think this is the work of witless morons with no discernible talents shoving their balls in your face.

**Todd**: *[laughing]* No, that would be a shallow and superficial reading indeed.

**Todd (VO)**: No, I am objecting on a much...deeper level, as I find "Sexy and I Know It" not only an unsatisfying piece of work, but also even morally dangerous. Let me explain.

**Todd**: Perhaps the best way to illustrate "Sexy and I Know It"'s failings is by comparing it to LMFAO's forbears and influences.

**Todd (VO)**: While musically, LMFAO does little to distinguish themselves beyond the idioms of the day, lyrically, "Sexy and I Know It" shows heavy influence from the works of Richard and Fred Fairbrass,...

**Todd**: ...better known collectively as Right Said Fred.

*Clip of Right Said Fred - "I'm Too Sexy," which pops up more times throughout*
**Right Said Fred**: I'm too sexy for my shirt...
**Todd (VO)**: Unfairly dismissed as one-hit wonders in this country, Right Said Fred captured a much more deserving level of success in their native England, where, after all...

**Todd**: ...they have far more sophisticated tastes than our own. (Four Top 10 hits. Seriously.)

**Right Said Fred**: I'm a model...
**Todd (VO)**: However, American audiences were right to identify "I'm Too Sexy" as their best and most significant work. Right Said Fred captured time in a bottle, perfectly encapsulating an era with their sharply sardonic takedown of male supermodel arrogance *[picture of...]* in the age of Fabio. LMFAO could not hope to reach as high as the Fairbrasses' accomplishments, simply because they lack the pure, almost method-actor conviction of the brilliant members of Rightly Said Frederick.

**LMFAO**: Girl look at that body
**RedFoo**: I work out
**Todd (VO)**: Lies!

**Todd**: Lies and balderdash. They clearly do *not* work out! They prove that they lack the Fairbrass brothers' pure commitment to their art through their shameful lack of buffness.

*Clip of "I'm Too Sexy"*
**Todd (VO)**: But what specifically attracts LMFAO to Right Said Fred? Looking deeper, LMFAO deriving inspiration from an early 90s hit makes perfect sense, *[clip of "Party Rock Anthem"]* as their colorful fashion sense has always evoked the aesthetics of the early 90s. *[Picture of the two]* And accordingly, their lyrics evoke a bygone era *[Ad for SoCal Surfwear]* through their allusions to antiquated fashions.

**RedFoo**: ...roll, animal print pants outta control...
**Todd (VO)**: But although the LMFAO oeuvre as a whole marks them as admirably resolute in their retro classicism, it, in turn, makes the satirical elements of "Sexy and I Know It" out of touch and archaic, *[clip of...]* where "I'm Too Sexy" was timely and purposeful. (It changed the world, man.)

**Todd**: But there's a deeper connection to be made here. LMFAO invokes the early 90s not only visually, but also in their attitude.

*Clip of MC Hammer - "You Can't Touch This"*
**Todd (VO)**: The pop music of the early 90s was actually quite innocent, *[clips of Motley Crue - "Girls Girls Girls"...]* compared to the misogynist, hedonistic debauchery of the hair metal era that came before, *[...Snoop Dogg - "Gin and Juice"...]* and the similarly amoral excesses of gangsta rap, which came after. *[...and...]* And while LMFAO have occasionally been guilty of similar crimes in the past, they seem to have evolved past that with "Party Rock Anthem." Indeed, that was one of the stronger aspects of both the song and the video, which gave us a party apocalypse which was quite progressive in its spirit of inclusivity. In contrast to most *[picture of Nazi zombies]* zombie cinema and literature, the zombies here represented not the horror of lost individuality, but instead the welcoming embrace of acceptance. All could be assimilated into the Party Rock, and race, age, gender, and physical attractiveness were not barriers to entry.

**Todd**: And it is here where the willfully alienating "Sexy and I Know It" betrays the promise of "Party Rock Anthem," a reversal in direction that is both unwelcome and dispiriting. I believed that LMFAO could be a force for good in the world, and I was wrong. My disappointment knows no bounds.

*Clip of Juvenile - "Back That Azz Up"*
**Todd (VO)**: Now perhaps the first instinct is to read "Sexy and I Know It" as a reversal of the typical objectification of women so common in today's popular music. And that would indeed be a praiseworthy goal, but a deeper look reveals that LMFAO's goals are actually far different.

The overriding theme of "Sexy and I Know It" is not physical attractiveness of the male body, but the diametric opposite. The song's main thrust...

**Todd**: ...so to speak...

**Todd (VO)**: ...is not desirability, but, in fact, the horror of the male body, not just as part of the song's accompanying video, but woven into the text itself.

**LMFAO**: Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah
**Todd (VO)**: Yes, I was initially ready to dismiss "wiggle, wiggle, wiggle" as the...

**Todd**: ...asinine drivelings of two mental defectives. But now I see the genius behind it.

**Todd (VO)**: The truly brilliant way in which they communicate the sheer repulsive horror of their unappealing bodies without the use of visual imagery.

**LMFAO**: Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, yeah yeah
**Todd**: Brilliant.

**Todd (VO)**: But though I have nothing but admiration for their ingenuity, I have deep concerns about the goals in which they put their considerable gifts to use. LMFAO are using satire and sarcasm to mock the idea of men taking pride in their physical beauty.

**Todd**: But what does this actually accomplish? If this song had been presented straightforwardly, it could've been a worthwhile inversion of the male gaze, but...

**Todd (VO)**: ...through their careless use of satire, LMFAO actually reaffirm the status quo, meaning that they are actually *[clip of Katy Perry - "Firework"]* fighting the tide of more positive portrayals of people who don't fit the conventional mold. Ultimately, "Sexy and I Know It" reinforces the idea that the male body is something to be mocked and never held to the same standards as women.

**Todd**: *[pounds piano]* Truly, I am offended! Both as a person of great intelligence and of extreme physical attractiveness. (Ask around.) Have we not moved...

**Todd (VO)**: ...past this as a society? LMFAO ultimately represent themselves as corrupt pro-cultural icons, on par with the *[picture of...]* blackface minstrelsy of the 30s.

**Todd**: And as a progressive thinker, I do not believe that the most toxic of our societal double-standards deserves to be reinforced, and certainly not by *[building up]* two lazy, blithering idiots putting out subhuman drivel like this *contemptible, pointless piece of RRRRGGGGHHHH!!!*

*Clip from* Duck Amuck*, with Daffy Duck tearing up black screen*
**Todd (VO)**: Who the hell am I trying to kid?! I'm sick of trying to intellectualize my hatred of this festering turd! It sucks because it sucks! End of story. The beat sucks, the lyrics suck, the video *quite* sucks, it's insulting on every level, made by people who have nothing but arrogance and disdain towards making music with any kind of imagination or creativity!

**Todd**: "Oh, but it's fun." No, it's not. I'd be perfectly happy never to hear this song as long as I live. Finish this!

**LMFAO**: I'm sexy and I know it
**Todd**: Why did that end like the "Thriller" vid...never mind! *[Leaves]*

*Closing tag song: Benzaie - [1]*

***THE END
"Sexy and I Know It" is owned by Interscope
Okay, it's a LITTLE funny that he tears off his Speedo and there's a Speedo underneath***