Breadism

## Summary

IAmTheBreadMan32 did not want a religion, but the gods said every god needs a religion, so IAmTheBreadMan32 slapped on the name breadism and slapped on some requirements and some daily stuff worships need to do. Surprisingly, one-billion people tried this religion, and only ten people actually made it in. Although he does let in people that are in his fam list, or friend list. This religion also has all of IAmTheBreadMan32's backstory, ascending from reality, to FC/OC VS Battles Wiki, to Joke Battles Wiki, to this wiki, his almighty form. So if you want to go in the religion, go for it. You will be rewarded if you make it in.

## Biography

**Stone Era - 2005, 25 Minutes.**

One time, a almighty baby was born, and when the mother of it took birth to it, the sound that came when the baby came out sounded like explosive diarrhea. The baby was very gorgeous indeed, as it glowed with a white aura and quickly everyone came to the mother's house and started praising it. Soon, they had a party, having cheers and drinking mango juice, and having video game contests for who was the best gamer, even the mother competed! But the mother used to be a hot woman you'd see in a MLG Video Game contest, so she won, but she noted she was rusty at gaming. Comedically, the baby started flying and tried to serve itself with milk, but it succeeded, making a big, milky mess on the floor. No one saw it, so the baby absorbed it quickly, then went back to it's carriage. All of them had fun, until suddenly, the baby dissapeared. Then everyone started crying like it was a graveyard where all their loved ones were. The almighty baby had been gone.

"DA BABY LIKEZ DE BREEED" The mom whimpered as she filled the floor with her tears.

"MAYBES DATS WHY DA BABE DISSAPERD" The dad cried.

Soon they flooded teh house and all of dem flew out of da house.

Surprisingly, that was the end of the Stone Era.

**Trees Era - 2008 - 2016**

**When the baby appeared, it was in heaven. But then it suddenly grew into a high intelligent eleven year old that was very fit so it could be capable of speech.**

"W-Where am I??" - The eleven-year old said.

"Oh, heya." Sans sitting down in his memelord attire, waved at the eleven-year old.

"Oh, EYYYY, SANS!" The eleven-year old waved, smiling.

The eleven-year old walked up to the chair that wasn't being taken by anyone, and sat there, staring at Sans.

"So, I heard that you're gonna have a PUN time in the future." Sans chuckled.

"Wait... what do you mean?" The eleven-year old asked.

"I'm just about to give up half my power to you." Sans explained. "As you can see, all the Omniverses are going to be in great danger, since I'm too stressed and lazy to travel to all of them, I'll take a person like you to protect them all."

"YAY!" The 11 year old said. "Can you do it right now?!??!?!?!!?!?!?!?!"

"Kid, hold your horses for a sec." Sans said. "It's not the time where the world is going to go KABOOM yet, so why not lay back for a while?"

"Aw, alright." The 11 year old said.

"Also, your parents was gonna name you, Johnny, so, just tell them that some fat person said it. Alright?" Sans replied.

"OK!" Johnny exclaimed.

"Do you want to get sent back now?" Sans asked, "Or do you want to know about more stuff?"

"Can you tell ALL of the future?" Johnny answered, very excited of what's going to happen.

"I can," Sans replied, "But kid, you would be here for one-billion mill-centuries, and I'm sure your parents would want you by now."

"Well, can you say what's going to happen when I go on my mission stuffs?" Johnny asked again,

"Alright." Sans answered.

"YAY!" Johnny exclaimed with excitement, "SEND MEH BACK NOW PLS!"

Sans nodded as he snapped his fingers, as Johnny appeared right back on his carriage, but the carriage could not hold the weight, so it broke and Johnny fell down. As Johnny rubbed his head, he sprinted upstairs and decided to look for lots of exercises, then wrote them all the workouts down on his notebook, then decided to train.

When his dad came down, he saw his son at already six foot, and he was already deadlifting a 350 pound weight. The floors were filled with sweat, almost reaching the couch. Johnny quickly put down the weight and decided to bike four miles again.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA!" Johnny's dad said, "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WORKIN OUT?"

"Ten hours." Johnny replied. "That's how long you've been working."

"And how do you know that I've been working that long?" Dad asked.

"Some fat person told me with telepathy." Johnny calmly answered.

"Now son, magic is not real." Dad replied. "So, tell me when you want to stop exercising."

Johnny nodded as he saw his dad go upstairs. Then he decided to start working out again, running ten billion miles and doing ten billion situps.

When he finally got upstairs, he already looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger, except he was six foot tall and his legs were like Lebron James. Even more surprising, he wasn't tired at all.

He ran upstairs, shaking the house in the process, then he started to study every math, every science, every martial arts, and every chemistry.

When he went to school for the unit test, he quickly finished it and got a A+, then finished all his homework in time and passed all the tests with a A+ on it, he got many scholarships, and then he was invited to many places, but he only took Canada's Wonderland and Boxing Tournaments. For the Boxing Tournaments, he won them all, of course. And for Canada's Wonderland, he took the Vortex and the Leviathan. He passed University and his parents decided to let him do whatever he wanted. But one day, a terrorist decided to interrupt Johnny's boxing match by blowing up the ring, which Johnny was barely affected by the blast and one punched the Terroist. After that, no one put boxing match challenges with Johnny and no one let him in the rides, which he immediately said that having a overwhelming power is boring as hell. He decided to become a Youtuber for three years, only training for one hour each day. His power degraded by -2.5 after three years. He was still overwhelming to other humans, though. But suddenly, he popped out of existence again and the house got flooded by tears once again.

That was pretty much the end of the trees era.

**Diamondz Era - 2016 - 2029**

When Johnny popped back on his chair where he sat with Sans, he was quickly staring at Sans.

"Alright, it's time for your powerup." Sans said. "Also, where did you get all those..... GRAINS?" Sans chuckled again as Johnny gave a thumbs up and he flailed his arms.

"YAAAAY!" Johnny exclaimed. "And, I got all these gains from working out alot for my Memelord Powerup!"

"You've been thinking ahead of the box!" Sans replied. "Here, take my hand."

Johnny took his hand, and he immediately saw half of the future that was waiting ahead of him, and Johnny had his first Memelord Attire that looked like Sans's. It felt overwhelming, and it filled Johnny with such excitement.

"WHOA!" Johnny yelled, but when he looked at Sans, he was back at his normal blue sweater.

"Don't worry bud, I can still tell the future." Sans said.

"YAAAAY!!!!" Johnny screamed. "SO, WHEN IS THE OMNIVERSES ENDANGERED?!?!"

"Well, we have lot's of Omniverse eating bugs, but I'm sure you can handle them." Sans replied.

"ALRIGHT!" Johnny yelled. "SO, CAN YOU TRAIN ME?!??!"

"Nah, i'm too lazy." Sans said. "Train yourself."

"ALRIGHT!" Johnny said.

"Address yourself as IAmTheBreadMan32 in that form, alright?" Sans replied.

"OK!" IAmTheBreadMan32 said as he snapped his fingers, appearing in the source of the Omniverse eating bugs, which it immediately exploded, and IAmTheBreadMan32 got a energy net and scooped them all over the omniverse in seconds.

"Welp, that was easy." IAmTheBreadMan32 said as he made them dissapear.

IAmTheBreadMan32 quickly started to go back and time, and defeated every villain that made everything bad in the future. He assassinated the person who made swear words, he killed the person that was going to invent junk food, he killed the person who made harmful chemistry, he slowed down Terry Fox's cancer to his first stages to let him complete the run across Canada, he did all of the stuff to prevent the bad stuff from happening. Then when he went back to the future, all the good stuff happened and no one knew bad words.... Except IAmTheBreadMan32.

**The Final Stop: Joke Battles Wiki Era- 2100 - 2200**
IAmTheBreadMan32 looked inside the internet, taking a peek inside the meme lord coloured abyss that the internet portal had. Those who climbed up the portal would never return, and IAmTheBreadMan32 wanted to prove that wrong as he peeked then proceeded to walk away, when a animal accidentally ran into him, knocking him away from the reality dimension, and into the internet dimension.

After barely surviving a life-threatening fall to the green, coded ground, IAmTheBreadMan32 got up. He looked around, dizzy from the 1,000,000 km fall. All of the colours were meme lord like, and dank music was playing. He looked around for a few minutes wondering where he was, but then a lightbulb appeared on his head as he finally figured out where he was. The Internet! Well, only inside the Internet hyperverse. He was actually in Joke Battles Wiki, the wiki he loved way more than FC/OC VS Battles Wiki, because you can make your own characters with no restrictions at ALL. And that's what he absolutely loved about the wiki. He imagined really hard what would it be like to wear a Joke Battles Wiki Scouter Scaler, then the thing he was imagining suddenly appeared at his right eye. He pointed the scouter at himself, and it scaled him at "Super Memetic+++". It was an impressive tier in Joke Battles Wiki, but not the strongest. He then proceeded to imagine SANESS, and then SANESS appeared right in front of him. They both had sparring matches, IAmTheBreadMan32 always winning. IAmTheBreadMan32 trained with SANESS for centuries, until IAmTheBreadMan32 got so powerful, that he could solo half of the internet. He then created the ultimate verse that would be the hardest to solo, the Breadverse. IAmTheBreadMan32 decided to experiment first with some characters to celebrate the complete creation for the ultra hyperverse he made.

After staying in Breadverse Unlimited for a long time, he missed his family, so he decided to solo The Internet. The Internet and IAmTheBreadMan32 fought for a long time, until The Internet knocked out IAmTheBreadMan32. When the Internet started to leave, IAmTheBreadMan32 woke up and used The Shitpost File Apocalypse on it, deactivating it once and for all. Then he was sent back to his house.

**Now**

IAmTheBreadMan32 connected Real Life with Breadverse Unlimited, so he can maintain his verse while spending time with his family. He practically just lived a normal life after all that.

## Ranks

### War Ranks

Breadism God (Reserved for IAmTheBreadMan32)

Breadism Leader

Breadism General

Warhero Breadist

Breadist Corperal

Breadist Soldier

Breadist Freshman

Breadist Candidate

### Ranks

Breadism God (Allowed to do anything, people below him must praise him)

Breadsident

Vice Breadsident

Brice Minister

Donald Trump (Builds walls to keep the country safe)

Bread Hero (Allowed to do anything as long as they don't go too far)

Breadist (Has rights to do stuff, but they shouldn't break the law)

## The Law

Everything is normal, except

1. If you don't eat bread in 3 days, that equals 3 years in jail. If you don't eat bread in 10 years, you shall be sentenced to death. Eating bread gets you out of this though.

2. You must study Breadism everyday

3. Drink Mango Juice and serve it only if you own a resturant.

4. If you bully, you will be sentenced to death.

5. If you are a Common Mainstream Kid, you will spend your life in a Mental Hospital.

## Requirements

1. Praise IAmTheBreadMan32

2. Live on Bread and Mango Juice for 60 years

3. Spread butter on yourself

4. Do 180,000 situps and pushups

Congrats! You have joined the Breadism religion!

## Breadism Math

### Seconds

Breadsecond = 0.5 miliseconds

Breadisecond = 0.1 miliseconds

Breacisecond = 1 attomseconds

Battomsecond: 0.1 attomseconds

### Bread Numbers

So let's get down to the basics.

So 1+1 = 2, right?

So Crumb+Crumb= Crust, and that equals 1+1 = 2.

So let's get the numberwords down.

1 = Crumb

2 = Crust

3 = Microbread

4 = Minibread

5 = Littlebread

6= Bread

7= Sandwich

8= Butter Bread

9= Peanut Butter Bread

10= Peanut Butter Jelly Sandwich (PBJS)

And the one's that are higher are just like:

20= 2 Peanut Butter Jelly Sandwiches. (PBJS)

### Infinites

Crumbfinite- Crumbfinite is a website worth of infinite spam.

Crustfinite- Crustfinite is entire websites worth of Infinite Spam. It is so low quality, that it doesn't deserve to be bolded.

**Nigh-Breadfinite- Nigh-Breadfinite is so powerful, a infinite internets worth of Infinite Spam wouldn't even tap Nigh-Breadfinite on the back. It may not be Breadfinite, but it can hold on par with people on Breadfinite.**

**Breadfinite- Breadfinite reaches the higher tiers of Breadverse, and it all depends what tier you are before. Memetic? Reach High/Low-Mid Tier at Breadfinite. 8-A? Reach Mid Tier. It isn't the most powerful though, but this is one of the minimum requirements to fight the Absolute God Tiers, this is also known as True-Breadfinity. If applied to hax, though, then the hax is pretty much breadfinitely beyond impossible to cancel out.**

**Bagelfinite- Bagelfinite is worth 1.5 Breadfinites because the cheese is too small**

**Sandwichfinite- Sandwichfinite is worth 2 Breadfinites.**

**Hamburgerfinite- Hamburgerfinite is worth 4 Breadfinites.**

**Pornburger- Pornburger is worth 69 Breadfinites because it is a pornburger.**

**Tombstonefinite- Tombstonefinite is worth 100 Breadfinites.**

**Hordeburgerfinite- A complexly infinite amount of Tombstonefinites, added with a Breadfinite amount of French Fries into the mix.**

### Measurement

Breadmeter is like twenty-thousand kilometers in total, so if you go higher, multiply it by itself to get it. (Breadilometer is forty-thousand kilometers, and so on) Otherwise, bread people just use normal measurement.

### More stuff

So, we've taught you the addition, and subtraction/division in Bread standards should be easy to humans, so lets go with the multiplication. I like long Breadmatics so let's go with it.

Sandwich x Bread (Sandwich + Sandwich) - 1PBJ = Hamburger (To shorten it, HB. Which equals 46 in mathematics.)

Bread x Bread is 6 x 6, and 6 x 6 = 36, so Bread x Bread = 3.6 PBJS.

A large number is Tombstone, which equals 5 hamburgers and 100 potatos, which potatos equals 1 Bread.

In War Breadmatics, we use minimal Breadmatics and use a large amount of Nigh-Breadfinites. We use the minimal if there is only 2 PBJS of soldiers.

Telling time is still comparing it to Bread Numbers, so it isn't that complex.

For weight, the fattest people in the Breadverse weigh about 1 kilobreadpounds,.

A breadpound is 200 grams in total.

A kilobreadpound weighs in a amount of 10 kilograms.

That's pretty much it.

But if there's WEIGHT LIFTING,
A breadpound is 1 kg,

And a kilobreadpound is 1 t.

Everything else in Breadverse Math uses the same math as normal math, or I forgot to list
some.