Greysexual

**Greysexual**, sometimes spelled **Graysexual** and also known as grey Asexuality, grey-a, grey-ace, or grey-ace, is a term to describe people who identify as asexual but don’t fit into the main types of Asexuality. The three major types are:

* Sex-repulsed: Someone who is repulsed by or completely disinterested in the idea of sex.
* Sex-neutral: Someone who isn’t repulsed by sex but also doesn’t actively seek it out. These people may still have sex if, for example, they’re in a relationship and want to please their partner.
* Sex-positive: Someone who identifies as asexual, meaning they don’t feel sexual attraction to others, but will still have sex for pleasure.

As the name implies, Greysexuality is somewhat hard to define, a sexual grey area. The term is intentionally vague to accommodate the people who fall somewhere between asexual and sexual. They might experience sexual attraction once in a while but largely don’t. This might mean they have certain circumstances where they might feel attraction, which they might be able to easily define, but are non-negotiable.

A Greysexual person may have a history of sexual experience that doesn’t reflect their current sexual identity or sense of self. Others might identify with Greysexuality because they experience infrequent sexual attraction that’s not strong enough to act on or pursue.

Sexuality, including Greysexuality, is unique to each individual. However, some common Greysexual characteristics include:

* Not prioritizing sexual attraction when choosing a romantic partner
* Not viewing sex as important
* Feeling sexual attraction occasionally, but not often
* Showing love and affection for their partner in non-sexual ways, like cuddling or talking

## What Is the Difference Between Greysexual and Demisexual?

People who identify as Demisexual only experience sexual attraction after they’ve formed a close emotional bond with someone. This is different from only feeling sexual attraction rarely.

There are two levels of attraction people can commonly experience: primary and secondary. Primary attraction has to do with physical traits, such as how a person looks or smells. Secondary attraction develops over time and has to do with an emotional investment in another person. Demisexuals only experience secondary attraction.

Greysexual only experience sexual attraction some of the time, and sometimes not at all. Their level of sexual attraction could fall anywhere from “not normally, but sometimes,” to “enjoys sex only under very specific circumstances”.

And sometimes, the same person will move between these two places, and others, on the sexuality spectrum during their lifetime.

## Myths and Misconceptions about Greysexuality

Many of the misconceptions around Greysexuality are the same as those around asexuality. People may think asexual and Greysexual people “just haven’t found the right person” or that they’re going through a phase. However, asexuality and Greysexuality are sexual orientations.

Another myth is that people who are asexual or Greysexual can’t enjoy sex. They actually can, and sometimes seek it out. Asexual and Greysexual people may enjoy sex itself without experiencing sexual attraction.

## How Greysexuality Works in Relationships

Greysexual and asexual people may enjoy sex with their partner for the bonding and physical stimulation. However, they may not feel an intrinsic need for sex, because it may not interest them. Even if they aren’t interested in sex for themselves, however, Greysexual may take part in sex if it pleases their partner and makes them feel loved.

Greysexual people may also decide to have sex because they want to have children. The choice of how much, or how little, sex they have is up to the individual.

Greysexual people can also be attracted to others romantically, but not sexually. They may pursue romantic relationships that are minimally sexual or not sexual at all.

This had led to the separation of romantic and sexual orientations, as someone can be asexual but still seek out romantic affection. It is still completely possible for Greysexual people to have relationships with one another, or with someone who is sexual.

## History & Coining

The concept of grey-asexuality developed in the early 2000s on the AVEN forums. In 2003, an AVEN member proposed the concept of "semisexuality," naming a half-way point between being asexual and not. Later, in 2006, AVEN member KSpaz proposed the term "gray-a" to describe the "fuzzy" space in the asexual spectrum.

## Flag

The Greysexual flag was designed by Milith Rusignuolo and was via upload to Wikipedia on June 21, 2013. It was supposed to be symbolic of someone starting out with no sexual attraction, represented by purple representing asexuality, then entering a single episode of it attraction (grey to white) with white representing Allosexuality from the asexual flag, and then going back to being Asexual.

On December 3rd, 2020 a second Greysexual flag was coined by a user going by Angel. The darker shades represent occasional sexual attraction, the mid-way shades represent being on the ace spectrum, the lightest shades represent feeling no sexual attraction, and the white represents community. [6]

The second alternate Greysexual flag was designed by Reddit user U/AkidIguess on November 22, 2020.

The third alternate Greysexual flag was designed by Reddit user u/adeltae on April 19, 2021. The black represents no sexual attraction, the dark grey represents very little sexual attraction, the purple represents conditional sexual attraction, the light grey represents some sexual attraction, but not as much as allosexual people, and the white represents community.

## Resources

* https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-graysexuality
* https://www.reddit.com/r/QueerVexillology/comments/o7mrlm/grayace\_flag\_redesigns\_babeyy/
* http://web.archive.org/web/20180210192310/https://avia-viridis.neocities.org/flags.html