Season 1-Round 1, Battle 3

It's a battle of giants today as the biggest Goomba in history goes against one *deviled* egg! Will this match be *over easy*? Will Sunnycide get poached? Will Mega Goomba *shell* it out in the ring? Will I stop with the *eggxutiating* puns?

## Pre-Match

SLG: Are you sure we have enough room for this match?

Kyokox: Oh I'm one hundred percent sure! But if it does destroy your "set", then that's in violation of our contract, meaning your show will be taken off the air.

SLG: Why exactly?

Kyokox: The network can't be associated with property damage of any kind, but if we fire you, we aren't held liable for any destruction that happens.

SLG: Oh..... okay...

Kyokox: GREAT! Now can you point me to the exit of this crapshoot?

SLG: Oh yeah, just go down the hall and take a left when you see the 5 foot block of asbestos!

Kyokox: I see. \*leaves

SLG: Oh boy, I guess we're rolling then.

Gina: ALRIGHT! Ladies and homeless man in the corner, welcome to *ALL-STARS BATTLES* where today, a fight of epic proportion starts between a hard boiled egg and a gargantuan goomba! In the red corner, SUNNYCIDE, and in the blue corner, MEGA GOOMBA!

Waluigi: I'M NOT HOMELESS! I'M JUST....okay fine you got me...

Sexy Toadstar: Right, well seeing as how Mega Goomba can take most blows to anywhere but the top, Sunnycide's projectiles may be not as effective. Still, I'm giving them even chances due to that shell Sunnycide has.

Bell: DING!

## Match

The combatants start running towards each other, which takes 3 seconds because of how big they are compared to the arena.

MG: HEY EGGY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!

SC: &)@%$\_=-~ (YOU WATCH IT TUBBY!)

MG: Tubby.... ***TUBBY!?!?!?!*** \*Rams Sunnycide into the stands

SC: \*Screams and grabs Waluigi

Waluigi: I DIDN'T PAY FOR THIS!

SLG: You didn't pay at all...

Sunnycide throws Waluigi at the Mega Goomba

Waluigi: WAAAAAAAH!

Waluigi bounces off Mega Goomba and lands back in his seat

Waluigi: Ugh... BOOooo- WAH

Sunnycide grabs Waluigi again

MG: What are ya gonne do this time! **I'M INVINCI-**

Sunnycide chucks Waluigi into the Mega Goomba's maw

MG: \*choking noises

As Mega Goomba falls down, Sunnycide starts kicking him repeatedly in the face

Penny: STOP STOP! THAT'S UNNECESSARY ROUGHNESS!

Sunnycide: )@&%$#)$+\_= (Well DUH!)

Mega Goomba spits out the permanently scarred Waluigi and discovers a horrible truth

MG: Hey... ummm... I can't get up because of my lack of... arms...

Penny: I guess that settles it then...

***SUNNYCIDE WINS!***

## After Match

Crowd of 5 ladies and one drunken rodent: \*CHEERS

Waluigi: I... AM SUING!!!

SLG: With what lawyer, aren't you homeless?

Waluigi: I'LL FIND A WAY!!!

Penny: Should we get a forklift to lift the Mega Goomba or... and everone left...

MG: Please help me! I have a 99% complete save file of Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze! I need assistance!

### Reception

Waluigi: \*gumbles while still covered in saliva and half digested pieces of a BigMac

Kykox: HEY! BUM!

Waluigi: I'M NOT A BUM! I'M JUST TOO POOR FOR AN APARTMENT!

Kyokox: Whatever, listen, I heard you wanted to sue us?

Waluigi: ARE YOU WITH THOSE JERKS?!?

Kyokox: Hardly, I want to get rid of them and YOU, FINE STREET URCHIN, are the key!

Waluigi: I'm listening...