Episode 153

"*Meatball sub! Meatball sub! Meatlball sub!*"
—All the hosts chanting in unison at Patrick Coleman.
**Episode 153** is an episode of Drunken Peasants. It features the second appearance of Patrick Coleman.

## Highlights

* The return of Patrick Coleman.
* Dick Coughlan vs. Jenny McDoormat.
* Scotty completely dominates Daniel Dalton.
* The return of Vagina Power.
* Bernie Sanders debates Bill O'Reilly.

## Videos Played

1. How to Do a Coffee Enema (Step by Step) for The Gerson Therapy
2. Was I Sexually Harassed?
3. Everything Wrong with Bernie Sanders
4. IT'S JUST A JOKE.
5. Christian Fellowship and Friendship Sucks on You Tube
6. Sanders vs. O'Reilly

## Start of the Show

The show began with them talking about Patreon. They then discussed Bill Maher being an anti-vaxxer. The mystery guest was revealed to be Patrick Coleman and Ben called him up on a phone since shamans can't use Skype. Coleman talks about how his boyfriend's mom hired hitmen to kill him.

Coleman then tries to discuss the war on shamanism and how mental illness is a government conspiracy. Ben later asks Patrick about the origin of his shamanism and he responds that he received a new soul. TJ claimed if Patrick could manifest a meatball sub in his hands he would become a believer.

Patrick then tries to shift the conversation to atheism and how he himself was formerly an atheist. TJ asks if he too can become a shaman and Coleman reveals that he needs to have his ~~ass~~ life ripped apart first. Patrick later reveals that TJ and everyone else in the world is God. Coleman later tries to deny his schizophrenia as described on the DP Wiki. Shortly after, Patrick is released from the call.

They then went into a Troll or Not a Troll video about some chick with titties name Rain Florence who describes how healthy a coffee enema is. The nozzle then calibrates in her anus and she shoots two cups worth of coffee in her anal cavity. They peasants agree she was not a troll.

 File:JennyDerp.png
Next up was the crazy people segment. The first being about Jenny McDermott who claims Dick Coughlan tried to sexually harass her. She tries to drag out the already debunked Armoured Skeptic situation again as an example of YouTubers abusing their power. She claims that he tried to "poke" her on Facebook multiple times and later sent her lewd pictures. The peasants almost have to defend Coughlan but TJ agrees he's totally a rapist.

Next up was a video by Daniel Dalton describing everything wrong with Bernie Sanders. He first compares Sander's ability to handle protesters to terrorists in the Middle East and Vladimir Putin. Daniel later discusses how letting women have an abortion is extremism but the peasants point out that the opposite is the truth because he's trying to tell people what to do. Dalton resorts to cutting up videos to try and make Sanders look bad. Daniel later talks about Sander's desire for free healthcare and clearly doesn't understand the meaning of the term. Dalton asks why Sanders wants banks broken up but not the government and the peasants clear up that the government already IS broken up. They later encountered more technical problems and so they took a break.

## Middle of the Show

Eventually they were able to return after some internet issues, Scotty presuming it was a Jesuit conspiracy. They next went into an ***UGH*** Laci Green video, this one being on the appropriateness of jokes. She completely misses the difference between a joke in a comedy club and some guy going to a rape survivor club and making jokes about it. The peasants explain that jokes are supposed to make light of suffering. She then tries to pretend freedom of speech in America doesn't exist.

 File:TJSmiles.png
Next up was a Brett Keane video about a sun-burnt Brett Keane who talks about the good old YouTube when everything was about cats. He then talks about how he "built" the atheist community on YouTube by shouting out many now-popular atheists on the site. Keane claims they severed ties with him for being a "gawd-believer" but TJ clarifies that it began long before that due to Keane's dirty tactics.

Unable to survive the whole Keane video, Ben and Scotty then berate TJ for his inability to quit smoking cigarettes and TJ has the biggest grin on his face the whole time.

## End of the Show

Next up was a video by Alexis Taylor of Vagina Power fame. She talks about how dick can make a girl start hyperventilating. She talks about how she unfortunately has already met her dick quota. Scotty briefly brings up the incident in Atlantic City.

Next up were CrazyCraigList Ads. The first was trading Xbox One controllers for sex. Second was a guy asking to turned into a sissy slut by a transgender person. Third was an ad by a guy who doesn't know what cap locks are. Fourth was a perverted fat guy trying to give a chick a message. Fifth was a guy with an acronym fetish looking for a big package. Sixth was yet another talented cocksucker trying to swap BJs.

Next up was a video about a guy with a dirty sanchez who loves the word "sodomite." He argues about how gay people are trying to convert good Christians en masse to fulfill the homosexual agenda. Next was a story about a ninth grader as told on the *700 Club*.

 File:BernBill.png
Next up was Bernie Sanders vs. Bill O'Reilly on Faux News. O'Reilly asks what Bernie's definition of a socialist was because he failed his 11th grade History course. Sanders later comments he would obviously raise taxes on the wealthy, including Bill. Bill then asks what Sanders would do if he was in charge when Putin invaded Crimea. Sanders says he would no go to war but instead isolate Russia economically and politically.

Bernie Sanders talks about his stance on drugs and how America is losing the war. The two later discuss the collapse of the middle class of America and rise of poverty. Sanders explains how rebuilding infrastructure is the most important way to create jerbs. The peasants ranted about Canada but then ended the show to impart to technical bullshit

## Quotes

* *"Get me some platypussy! Oh yeah!"* - TJ desires to fuck a platypus.
* *"How long does it take him to jerk off?"* - Patrick's question to TJ.
* *“So where does one go to get this ‘the god experience’? Is that like at Universal Studios?”* - TJ asking Patrick Coleman on how to acquire “the god experience”
* *“I have manifested so much shit in my life.”* - Patrick
	+ *“Yeah, me too, but I mean I have to go like 3 or 4 times a day so...”* - TJ
* *"Wow guys. Mucho drama lately, am I right?"* - Jenny McDermott trying to be cool.
* *"Dick Coughlan raped me."* - TJ shares part of his dark past with the world.
* *"You're making my penis squeak"* - Ben's response to Jenny's video.
* *"We three whores were talking our shit."* - TJ's song about Jenny.
* *"Your skin colour is not white enough to be an American, so we're going to have to do something about it. We've got some bleach right here."* - Scotty mocks Daniel Dalton's flawed logic.
* *"Let me stimulate you with my package, baby"* - Ben
* *"Should change his name to FRENCHIE Sanders."* - TJ's impression of Sanders' detractors.
* *"We're all idiot humans!"* - Laci Green projecting.
* *"My babies! MY BABIES!"* - TJ after Scotty crushed his cigarettes.
* *"Average cock here. I have an average cock. Coooock"* - Ben whispering during the CraigsList ads.
* *"You'll know a Scotsman by his red pubes"* - Paul as the one true Scotsman.

## Trivia

* Prior to becoming a shaman, Patrick Coleman's name was Eric.
* Patrick Coleman has a girlfriend despite identifying as a MGTOW.
* Patrick Coleman also believes in Cthulhu.
* Ben speculates gTime Johnny and Patrick Coleman would be good friends.
* Daniel Dalton isn't white enough to be an American, so he has to be bleached.
* Laci Green desperately needs to watch the Nostalgia Critic's editorial on humor.
* TJ claims that Brett Keane's channel was fucked the minute he started showing his fat jowls on camera.
* TJ met the banana in Copacabana.