166: I No Longer Want You To Find My Gnome Family

## Summary

Batthwack tries (and fails) to impress Dew with a card trick using his special deck of picture cards, before randomly pulling out a card with an image of himself on it and making an illusory Batthwack appear! The party then start to get sinking feelings as they notice their Barovian money is gradually getting heavier and Will conducts a survey of the room, obtaining some Barovian coinage from the other passengers, noting that it's totally different to the Strahd-inscribed money they'd collected. Then, the old lady emerges from the bunk room, distraught, because her emerald brooch has gone missing!

## Synopsis

Will organises his possessions in one of the storage boxes in the bunk room. He keeps his platinum, half his gold, his gems and his billy club on his person, but stows everything else. He casts *Creation* to add some teeth and bones, and adding red ink and a list of names, partially crossed off, to make it look like they belong to a serial killer. He's hoping this will be sufficient to scare anyone off who want to might look in.

Batthwack settles down to look at his deck of cards for the first time in order to play a game. The deck is very well-made, but unlike any traditional kind of playing card deck. They're not suited or anything and each card is adorned with a different image, mostly animals or creatures.

It seems like a game isn't really possible with this deck, so Batthwack decides to try a magic trick for Dew, not worrying too much about the fact he doesn't actually know any. He shuffles the cards and then fans them out, holding them towards Dew, who picks a card. It's an image of a grizzled human soldier, who looks battle worn and like he means business. Batthwack cuts the deck and tries as subtly as possible to see what card is on the bottom of the top half. Then he indicates to Dew to put his card on the bottom half. Ricky is watching what's going on and so is Captain Clockface. Next Batthwack asks Dew to cut the deck, and then begins going through the deck, looking for the one he saw. However, it dawns on him that he can't remember whether he should pick the one above or below that, so just has to take a chance. He pulls out a goblin card and shows it to Dew with a flourish. Dew thinks the trick is still going. Batthwack pulls out the other card, Dew's card, the veteran. Dew is less than impressed when he realises that was the whole thing, but he does his best to hide it.

Unfazed by this total flop, Batthwack doubles down and goes for another trick. This time he shuffles the cards again and then riffles them in front of Dew, causing the magical effect where, as they flutter past, the edges of the cards look like there are different types of creatures walking along. Batthwack cracks his best smile, which is terrifying. Intrigued, Dew asks to see the deck. Batthwack picks another card at random and is stopped dead in his tracks. The card shows a picture of himself! He throws the card on the floor and instantly, another Batthwack appears in front of them. Now Dew's impressed! Batthwack realises he can control the illusory Batthwack and makes it disappear. Hank is shocked. Ricky is gawping, wide-eyed. The old lady is shocked. Batthwack hurriedly retrieves the card, which he notes is now blank.

Raphina wants to look at these cards, wondering if she could use them to summon a new terrarium. Batthwack suggests summoning a new cat. Raphina seems sad at the memory of Pippa and skeleton cat rubs against her legs. Batthwack cuts the deck and hands them around. Raphina draws a card, it's a gnoll. She puts it back.

Suddenly, Raphina becomes aware that her pack is noticeably heavier. Will, who is talking with Manet, the half-elf father, can also feel that his pockets are heavier. Will takes out a coin and weighs it in his had. It could be heavier. Will says *"Did you feel that?"* to whoever's listening and Raphina says she did. She gets her Lanky Pack out and empties the contents onto the table. The coins don't look different. Will looks around the cabin. No-one else seems troubled by this and none of Will's other items seem heavier. He gets Batthwack to check and he agrees that they do feel heavier.

Will speaks to the father again. Manet says he's never flown before and this is their first time leaving Barovia. When asked about the mists, he says doesn't remember them. Will asks him about Strahd, and he says *"My grandpa used to tell me stories about someone named Strahd, like, I don't know, long time ago."* He tells Will they're from Vallaki. Will is getting a real sinking feeling about people saying they don't remember the mists and such. He asks Manet who the burgomaster of Vallaki is, and Manet says it's Burgomaster Richards. When asked about his favourite wine, he says *"If I can get it, Champagne du le Stomp is a fine vintage, but I mean I'll settle for a Red Dragon Crush."* Will wonders if Manet isn't aware that Batthwack got made the new mayor of Vallaki, but even so, he recalls that when they arrived there, the burgomaster was Baron Vargas Vallakovich.

Dew checks his small amount of money, which are all Barovian coinage that have Strahd's head in imprinted on them. He thinks they might be a little heavier and bites one to check it's still gold. Will is feeling a little unsettled, and looks around to see if there's anyone else to talk to. The old lady has gone to the bunk room. Hank is now sitting, checking some notes he made. Batthwack now notices that his bag is heavier than it used to be, and casts *Detect Magic* to see if that reveals anything. The spell indicates that their Barovian Strahd money is magical with transmutation magic! Will compares his non-Barovian money with his Strahd money and notices that the Strahd coins seem to have gotten a little heavier still, even in the short space of time they've been looking at them.

Ricky is jumping up and down agitatedly in front of his mother, the half-elf woman, and she takes him into the bunk room. Batthwack goes and sits down next to Hank and asks him about his inspection. He says his job is to *"make sure everything's in tip top shape, everything is mechanically sound, the safety precautions are being taken, the course is being kept true, guests are being treated well."* Batthwack asks him what's through the door at the back of the bunk room. Hank informs him that it's the latrine. Batthwack asks if there are any other rooms on the airship. *"There's the bunk room, the cabin and the captain's chair room."* He goes on to explain *"I'm not officially part of the crew"* and says that they should direct their general queries to the captain or the other crew mates. *"Not to say that I wouldn't wish to help you, just I'm here to observe to see that things are handled appropriately."*

Will asks Manet for some coins. He says doesn't have any, but his wife does, but she's just taken their boy to the latrine. When she gets back Manet introduces her as Jocelyn and explains that Will wants to see a coin. Will offers them his money to hold while he looks at theirs, to show that he's not trying to steal anything. Ricky takes a coin from Will's hand and runs away. Jocelyn hands over some copper pieces. These ones don't have Strahd's head on, instead there is a worn inscription of a crown. These coins appear to have been in circulation or some time. Will trades a regular non-Strahd gold coin for one of these copper pieces.

Next, Will goes and sits down next to the hooded figure. Batthwack also sits down nearby to listen in, which actually comforts Will briefly, before he catches himself and self-loathing washes over him. Will introduces himself and the hooded figure says they're just keeping themselves to themselves. Will asks where they're from and they say Gully's End. They were only in Barovia for a short time. Will asks them for a Barovian coin, saying he's starting a coin collection. The hooded figure hands over a silver piece without much question and Will hands over a regular non-Strahd gold piece in return. The silver piece also has a crown inscribed on it.

Will takes his coins over to the group to show them, swatting them down on the table. He's very perturbed by the fact the coins are totally different to theirs. Dew shows Manet one of his Strahd coins. Manet asks *"Are these from somewhere else? Is this from ... Where is it? Carnivar?"* Dew tells him it's from Vallaki, but Manet is skeptical. *"No! No. This is not Vallaki money."* He says he lived in Vallaki his whole life.

Suddenly the back door to the bunk room flings open and the old lady bustles in, her head down. She begins desperately looking under chairs, and all around. She looks up scanning the faces in the room. She hurries up to Raphina and says *"Please, can you help me? I seem to have lost my brooch. My emerald brooch. I can't find it. I need you to help me. It's very important to me, it's very dear. Please help me find it. It must be here somewhere!"*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Abby, who was imagining Dew's reaction to Batthwack's rubbish magic trick. Greg says *"Dew now looks a little less than impressed than when the process started. He was expecting, like you've seen magicians do before, where it's like 'Is this your card?' 'No' and then it catches fire!"* Abby: *"He says, 'I no longer want you to find my gnome family'"*

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*
*"The Australian With The Most Aliens"* (Art by Monty)
## References

1. ↑ Dear Listener, if, like me, you didn't know what a gnoll was... dndbeyond! If you did, good on you, you big 'ol nerd!