Pseudo blog:Cheironyx/Bonus 4

Things have calmed down a little. There's still no knowing what's ahead, but I do have a bit of time to spare, so I suppose I'll write down my thoughts.

I don't really know what I should write yet, or where I should start. I don't know what this notebook is going to be. It might be a memoir.

Perhaps a letter. An accusation. Or a last will.

My name is Megumi Sakura. I ~~am~~ ~~was the Japanese teacher~~ am the Japanese teacher at Megurigaoka Gakuin Private High School. No, I'm still a teacher. Because I have those girls.

I think I should write about that day. I should, but--

When I remember it, I feel terrible. My body gets cold. I can hear the screams inside my ears.

I've had some tea. I'm going to write things little by little.

Students often visit the roof, since the horticulture club has a garden there. Strictly speaking, they're only allowed to enter at times decided by the horticulture club members, but this isn't held to very tightly. It's not important enough to crack down on, so it's overlooked. That's why it's like this.

The ones who were on the roof back then were Yuki, Yuuri, and another female student. The moment she saw me, she must have thought I was going to get cross at her.

She left the roof straight away. That was regrettable. Yuki was the first to notice - she pointed at the schoolyard.

I could tell that something like a riot was going on, but it didn't feel real. After that, Kurumi came running up, out of breath, and then there were countless students outside the door. The screaming.

Back then, I kept on pushing against the door.

We're living on, somehow or other. I'm grateful that we have water and electricity. The most important thing is that the solar batteries on the roof weren't damaged. We've even got hot water. The emergency countermeasures were well-prepared - in fact, they were too well-prepared. At some point I'll have to go to the staff room and check.

We're making progress with cleaning up the classrooms, and I've got a bit of free time. When I think "I've got free time now," I choke up and can't move. When I wonder what we'll do from now on, my legs stop working.

Yuki is particularly dejected. So am I. Even though I'm a teacher. Even though I need to lead everyone.

Yuuri Wakasa. She is calm. She's strong-minded. She has the power to be considerate of everyone.

Yuuri asked me if I'd hold classes. In order to think about tomorrow, and in order to make it through today. I thought it was a wonderful idea.

It's not true that teachers teach students. It's teachers who are taught by students. I thought I already knew that, but I've been made aware of it every day since all this happened. Although that doesn't make it any better. Classes. Classes are fine, but I feel like there's something else. I need to fix the garden on the roof.

Yuki Takeya has brightened up a lot too.

The School Living Club. Not a bad name, in my opinion. I'm the advisor and all the others are members.

We're not trapped in here. We're living here. If I think of it as a school event, little by little I begin to see things I want to do and things I'm able to do.

But even so, there are still nights when I'm in my sleeping bag and I feel like I'm going to be crushed. I wonder what it's like for those girls. Being away from their families.

For now, let's just spend our days doing club activities. I'm sure there's a meaning to that.

Kurumi Ebisuzawa is a strong girl. She's an athlete from the track and field club, and has been helping us all this time.

Even the fact that we've been able to extend our living area this far is thanks to her shovel. It probably would have been impossible if it was just us.

It pains me to put my students in danger. I would take her place if I could, but doing so would just mean more victims.

What I can do is support her and protect her heart. That's what I think.

Yuki Takeya ~~has~~ ~~.~~ ~~is~~ .

No, perhaps it's my imagination.

Perhaps it's my imagination, but I'll write it down.

She had her childish points before, but recently she's been getting even more childish. I don't understand. I don't understand.

Yuki has brightened up. She's cheered up. Her smile is truly empowering.

But I'm starting to worry whether this is okay.

~~The staff room~~

It was a cute dog. Maybe it was being looked after somewhere. Its fur was beautiful, too.

But--

It came back--

I feel like I've realised what this notebook is going to be.

This is probably my last will.

I have committed a sin.

I want whoever reads this someday to know.

About that girl.

It's my fault that Yuki Takeya's time has stopped.

I was the one who wished for Yuki's smile. I was the one who created the illusion of school life. When she regressed, there I was, thinking that was preferable. Even our circumstances are my fault. I finally went to the staff room earlier. The evacuation manual. It's my fault. It's the adults' fault. There are no more adults, so this is my fault.

The flow of time never stops. As long as those three can leave this school with smiling faces someday, I don't care what happens to me. Sending those girls off safely, that's what I'm living for.

My name is Megumi Sakura. I am the Japanese teacher at Megurigaoka Gakuin Private High School.

### **Translation notes:**

* On page 3, from "Kurumi came running up, out of breath" onwards, the handwriting gradually becomes shakier and shakier.

* A page appears to have been ripped out between pages 7 and 8.