Quotes

* **Sinister Man:** Bow thy knees if you wish to even speak in my presence.
**Barmaid:** Oh, piss off!
* **Dr. Lukas Mandeville:** What the devil is that?
**Dr. Barbara Coyle:** Sounds like a lot of monks exploding.
* **Elliot Broome:** (Hearing the phone ringing)That's strange, I thought the phones where dead.
**Stephen Wilson:** Why do you think that?
**Elliot Broome:** They usually are in situations like this.
* **Dr. Lukas Mandeville:** I find this case enthralling. Have you read all the reports?
**Dr. Barbara Coyle:** No.
**Dr. Lukas Mandeville:** Well if you had, you'd know about the strange things that have taken place in that house years ago. Do you realize that eighteen people were murdered there one night?
**Dr. Barbara Coyle:** Coincidence. Anyway, Lightning never strikes twice.
**Dr. Lukas Mandeville:** Well it did then. Two people were struck by lightning. Two who's throats were slit. One was hung. Two were axed, four people were skewered in the same bed. And a man watching, simply blew up!
**Dr. Barbara Coyle:** What happened to the other six?
**Dr. Lukas Mandeville:** What?
**Dr. Barbara Coyle:** You said there were eighteen.
**Dr. Lukas Mandeville:** Oh, yes, yes, the other six. They were found frozen to death in the deep freeze. All wrapped in cling film. They'd been shot.
* **Elliot Broome:** That's the trouble with life today. Too many people assume things and then form opinions, wrongly based on false assumptions.
**Stephen Wilson:** You mean?
**Elliot Broome:** Precisely. People always assume that because I'm not interested in football or swilling beer in the local pub every night, and would rather stay at home and lull up a pair of curtains, I must therefore in some way be... less than a man.
**Stephen Wilson:** My experience... exactly.
* **Henry Noland:** Eighteen in one night? God, that must have put you off sex for life.
**Deborah Kedding:** Not really, life goes on.
**Henry Noland:** You're one brave lady. I suppose you had a psychiatrist?
**Deborah Kedding:** Yes, one of them was a psychiatrist.
**Henry Noland:** You're kidding me?
**Deborah Kedding:** No, he was the last one and he made me tell about the other seventeen.
**Henry Noland:** Oh God, some people are disgusting.
* **Policewoman:** Hello, police, can I help you?
**Dr. Lukas Mandeville:** Yes, I'd like to report a dead body.
**Policewoman:** Yes sir, what type of a dead body?
**Dr. Lukas Mandeville:** Type? Ehm... Upside down with big chests, what's that got to do with it?
* **Deborah Kedding:** Pass me a knife, would you?
**Henry Noland:** I suppose a fork is out of the question?
**Deborah Kedding:** Not necessarily. But let's have dinner first.
* **Sinister Man:** He says we must gather up all the faggots and burn them.
**Brother Theresa:** I'm not sure I like the sound of this!
**Cult member:** Don't worry, Brother Theresa, he means wood.
* **Sinister Man:** I don't believe it! Seven hundred years undead, and now this!
* **Dr. Lukas Mandeville:** Now look here. I think we ought to search the house immediately. We'll divide up into pairs. Stephen, Elliot, you stay here and watch the machinery. Okay, the rest of you, follow me.
* **Elliot Broome:** (While being strangled by his doppelganger) It's me!... does this count as suicide?
* **Dr. Barbara Coyle:** Look out, a bat!
(A cricket bat falls on Mandeville)
**Dr. Lukas Mandeville:** A cricket bat?