Ranger Match

Have you ever wanted to find true love, right here at Logan High? Well have I got news for you! Ranger Match is a new Wiki Page dedicated to one thing: finding YOUR ranger soul mate. Just add your personal info to this page and our highly sophisticated computer program will "match" you with another person.

## General Guidelines

Firstly it is important to note that if you play Fortnite you might not be matched with someone. Actually, I am sorry to say that any association with Fortnite is an immediate turn-off to any possible partner. Yeah sorry about that, its just the way the cookie crumbles. Hey, maybe you'll lose your virginity some day.

Please be kind to one another. And remember that this is a family friendly website so please don't use any sexual jargon. An example of this is "bro nice dick".

In addition, do not get mad if you do not like the person we pair you with, hell, this is just a page on a Fandom Wiki run by high schoolers. I'm just sayin', don't get your hopes up--but, you *should* get your hopes up cause this is the best damn dating site ever made. Period.

## Reviews

"I just want to say that this website helped me find my true love. My wife and kids left me because of my nightly drunken outbursts. I thought I could never find love (or a parole) until one day I stumbled across this Wiki after being blocked on yet another dating site. I immediately found a nice high schooler who was just as desperate as I and the next thing I know, a couple months later we are happily married! Seriously 10/10. I plan on using this Wiki again to find my third wife." -Anonymous User

"After getting rejected several times by girls I thought that there was nobody out there for me. Until I met the girl of my dreams. We had plans of eloping as soon as we graduated, but, *sniff sniff,* her life tragically came to an end, *sniff sniff,* because of The Incident." -Anonymous User

## Single Person of the Week

### Hugh Jass

A lovely Sophomore who needs to find a Homecoming date. He is single (duh), enjoys competitive basket weaving after school, and has a solid .69 GPA. If you are reading this then you could most definitely be his match. (seriously this kid is willing to take anyone, and I mean anyone). There you have it!

### Chad

To all the babes out there:

Howdy Ladies! Are you looking for a man who can make farting noises in both armpits while making flirtatious, shy eye contact across the room? Well then maybe I’m the guy for you. I’m a fun-loving guy with a major in paper aeronautics, a minor in saliva-based projectile physics, and a firm background in flatulation sonics.

Even though I’m still in eight grade, you’ll find I’m really quite mature for my age. In fact, I like to think I’m quite the champ when it comes to social interactions. Even the principal knows me on a first name basis.

As far as looks go, I’ve got ‘em all. I work out every Thursday at the local jungle gym, and I even beat Timmy last Tuesday in an arm wrestling contest to decide who’s breath smelled worse. Of course, I settled that argument pretty good with my impressive quadrilateraceps, so it’s obviously not mine.

I’ve got brains, too. I was the one who told Jacob that he should see how far up his nose the straw would go two and a half months ago when all those ambulances showed up. That was my genius at work. Hard to believe, I know, but true. I have a B+ in art class too, so you know I can joke around and draw a Bob Ross for you in the same afternoon.

I’m lookin for a gal who can get on my level when it comes to Fortnite, and isn’t afraid to take chances in our relationship. I’m talking taking pictures together to show people, getting ice cream at Ranisons and letting me pay for it, and maybe even sitting at the same table during lunch. Cooties vaccinations are a must.

Well if you’re thinking you’re the gal for me, you better hurry. I’m practically fighting the girls off with my XCS-27 Special Edition Glow-in-the-Dark Yoda’s Lightsaber. My number is 808-420-6969, so give me a jingle if you’re ready to mingle.

--Sincerely, Chad

## Other Desperate Dirtbags:

### Anonymous

Hi, I'm a sixteen-year-old male looking for a partner (not choosy. would even take a guy if it came to that). You see, ever since I left my girlfriend for her hot freshman sister, things have been kinda down in the dumps for me. Said freshman sister got fed up with me because of my carrot fetish, so now I'm lonely and single as a pringle. My old girlfriend won't take me back either because she feels like she can't handle her true feelings for me and hides them out of fear that she isn't good enough for me and will hurt my feelings. That or it's the restraining order. Either way, I'm looking for somebody who will take me as I am, regardless of the way I scream in my sleep. I mean, not that I do. Anyway, my talents include being able to play *Believer* obnoxiously loud on my trumpet, boldfaced lying expertise, a failure to amount to anything athletically, and a 7th grade science teacher dad. I like to think I don't have any weaknesses.

Please call me at [*deleted for the good of the human gene pool*]. I'd love if there were somebody out there like me who I could go waffle stomping with.