Chaos Café (Episode)/Transcript

Chaos Café
**Transcript**Credits**The transcript for Chaos Café.**

[*The title card plays, showing some credits.*]

**THE ISLAND**

[*After the title card, the episode shows footage from the clouds and the upper view of the island before panning into Shadow the Hedgehog who is reading a book.*]

**Sonic**: *Hey Shadow!* [*He says as he falls from the sky.*]

**Shadow**: *Aw, what the?!*

[*Shadow dodges out of the way for Sonic to land in a T-pose position.* *Fire appears behind the hedgehogs, by which Sonic solves this problem by slapping a fire hydrant, splashing water all over the place.*]

**SHADOW'S HOUSE**

[*Shadow dries and wraps Sonic around a towel. Shadow draws a picture.*]

**Sonic**: *So, what have you been up to, Shadow!*

**Shadow**: *If you must know, I've been planning on starting a café.*

[*Shadow shows Sonic a drawing of himself, with a baker toque and a mug.*]

**Sonic**: *Oh, cool! Can I help?*

**Shadow**: *As annoying as you are, you at least have somewhat of an understanding of how this world works. So, fine.*

***Transition***

[*Sonic and Shadow are now standing in the room.*]

**Sonic**: *First, we gonna need a "snazzy" name for the place! So what-cha got?*

[*Shadow thinks very deeply*.]

**Shadow**: *Chaos Café!!*

[*Sonic chuckles.*]

**Sonic**: *Alright, sweet! I'm gonna go get this approved, so I'll be right back!*

[*He speeds away.*]

**PRESIDENTIAL HOUSE**

[*He breaks into the window of the Mayor.*]

**Sonic**: Yes, hi! Please stamp here, and here, and here, and Knuckles. Kay sankue~!

[*He speeds away again.*]

**SHADOW'S HOUSE**

[*Shadow is watching a TV show.*]

**Garfield**: *Usagi, Desmond. It's time to tell you the truth.*

[*Garfield unveils himself to actually be none other than SANS UNDERTALE. Usagi gasps in despair.*]

**Desmond**: ***OOOOH MY, OOOOH MY GOD!!!!!?!!?!!!***

[*Fortnite's default dance can be heard.*]

**Shadow**: *12 seasons for this?!*

[*Sonic bursts in the door.*]

**Sonic**: *We're approved!*

**Shadow**: *Why do you have a key to my house?*

**Sonic**: *Never mind that; let's go check out the place!*

***Transition***

**OUTSIDE CHAOS CAFÉ**

[*The hedgehogs stand in front of the unfinished café, looking at it's uncompleted glory.*]

**Shadow**: *Sonic, this looks disgusting.*

**Sonic**: *It just needs a little love, Shadow.*

[*Energetic and uplifting music plays, whilst the duo complete the café.*]

**Shadow**: *This...is...ULTIMATE!*

[*Shadow dashes inside the building.*]

**CHAOS CAFÉ**

**Shadow**: *Customers! I summon thee!!*

[*A ringing noise occurs. It is Sonic who rung the bell.*]

**Shadow**: *I wanted to do the first "ding."*

**Sonic**: *Heck you!*

[*A customer enters the building.*]

**Sonic**: *Look, Shadow! It's our first customer!*

[*It is, in fact, Chunky Kong who entered the café. He is a critic who decides to take a look at said building. He sits at one of the tables and looks at the menu.*]

**Shadow**: *Welcome. What can I get you?*

**Chunky Kong**: *I'm noticing an extreme lack of bananas?*

[*The camera pans to the menu, showing that there are indeed no bananas to be found.*]

**Shadow**: *That's because we don't serve them.*

**Chunky Kong**: *How ABSURD! I'm leaving a 1-star review!* [*Is what he said before he gets slapped in the face by* *the waiter, Shadow.*]

[*Chunky starts from growling to screaming like an ape. Shadow does the same and shuts him up with a Kroger bag.*]

***Transition***

**Sonic**: *So, how'd it go??*

**Shadow**: *I stopped him from breathing AND stole his phone.*

**Sonic**: *Hey! I've heard of him! He's one of those restaurant critics. Can I see that really quick?*

[*Sonic fakes a message from Chunky Kong to manipulate viewers into coming to their café. This action works.*]

**Sonic**: *Aaand done!*

[*Several customers "teleport" into the café. Shadow is excitedly shocked and Sonic giggles. He starts taking various orders.*]

**Sonic**: *What can I get you, man!*

**Waluigi**: *Anything that can fill the void...*

**Sonic**: *Sure! One assist sundae coming up!*

**Sonic**: *Hey Shad! We've got a ton of orders, you ready to make them?*

**Shadow**: *I already did!*

**Sonic**: *Oh, cool! How did you do that?*

**Shadow**: *I stole the Time Stones.*

[*He makes the various Time Stones float.*]

**Sonic**: *Put those back!*

***Transition***

**Sonic**: *Welp, all the orders are filled! You seem happy.*

**Shadow**: *Heh, I poisoned them all!*

[*The customers start to evaporate thanks to Shadow's wrongdoing.*]

**Mr. Game and Watch**: *Uh oh...I don't feel so good...* [*He starts vanishing whilst screaming.*]

[*Waluigi also starts screaming in pain, the scream becomes bass boosted when he disappears into dust.*]

***Transition***

[*The transition reads "Several tedious to edit disintegrations later..." with a chibi version of Sonic pointing out that it is better than nothing.*]

[*After that, the camera shows an empty café.*]

**Sonic**: *WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??*

**Shadow**: *It's what Maria would've wanted.*

[*The entire area becomes black.*]

**Maria**: *No Shadow. What I want..is for you to join Smash.*

[*The camera pans out of Maria's face, showing a giant fireball replicating the Smash logo.*]

***Transition***

[*After the screen turns plain white, Shadow pops up out of a trophy.*]

**Sonic**: *Yo, Shadow! Could you get me some toilet paper!?*

**END**