What is a Ghoul?

"*Nobody can agree on what a ghoul is, looks like, or does.*"
―Erik
What is a Ghoul? is the 137th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on October 22, 2021.

## Summary

Erik doesn't know what a ghoul is, so he asks a hot tub streamer and ASMR streamers on Twitch. They don't know so he decides to figure it out for himself. He sees two goblins in the Etiquesette, but he's not sure if they're ghouls or not.

Erik looks up the dictionary definition of a ghoul. It doesn't help, so he looks for some footage of a ghoul. The footage doesn't help, so he learns more about where the idea of a ghoul came from. The video gives a detailed description of what ghouls are like. The information contradicts itself and one of the comments says its all false, so Erik throws aside the drawing he was working on instead of taking notes. Erik is frustrated by how complex the idea of a ghoul is, wishing it was simpler like Shakma the killer baboon, so he plays an ad segment for Shudder.

The goblin on the Commenticouch didn't like the ad, so Erik gets frustrated and plays a Dietz & Watson hoagie ad that doesn't know what a ghoul is. It instead had a Gabaghoul. Erik goes to Twitter to see if his students know what a ghoul is, but all of their answers are useless. Erik decides to just play Pavlov instead. He asks his teammates what a ghoul is, and one is about to tell him, but another teammate teamkills. Then Erik teamkills. In another server the teammates give a clear description so Erik teamkills some more.

Erik concludes that no one really knows anything about ghouls, so he resorts to a cursed spellbook that he bought off the dark web to summon a ghoul. He's disappointed in the ghoul because it looks weird and it's a pervert. Then a goblin steals Erik's loose change.

## Comments

*Can anyone describe what a ghoul is?**wouldn't a slimy ghost just be a ghost*
- curiousbetsytwitch

*I also heard that ghouls like to hand out blowjobs like they're candy, and that's where that tradition comes from on Halloween night. But then we had to switch to actual candy once it became a holiday for children. Unless that thing propositioned you for a quick little blowguy, I don't think you're dealing with a ghoul there. I think you just ran into a homeless person. I mean I always thought a ghoul was like a magical flying skeleton corpse with a little bit of clothing
still on it and it can cast spells and shit. This is just a video of a wild man who lives in the forest, and if he's a ghoul then that means the movie Nell is about a ghoul too. Which by the way makes that movie like a thousand times hotter, and that's saying A LOT.*
- Erik

*So what you're saying is a ghoul looks like a hairy person with hooves, but also looks like a dog, and can shapeshift into a normal person or a normal dog, or hyena, and that it does not eat corpses because it eats living things unless it doesn't have a choice and then it will eat corpses. It steals coins for some reason and walks around on all fours except for when it stands upright and walks around like a person. Or sometimes it just straight up shapeshifts INTO a person who walks like a normal person and looks like a person. Classic Halloween monster, the ghoul. Yeah I can see why everybody talks about ghouls every Halloween with how recognizable they are. This is gonna be the easiest Halloween costume ever thanks man.*
- Erik

*Hey thanks I've been sitting in my kitchen for hours now staring at a full sized hoagie thinking “how the hell do I turn this into smaller bites” until of course this video showed up. Also, this ad was way too short. You gotta make them 4 minutes long like mine so people complain about it in the comment section and drive up engagement while at the same time getting people who skipped the ad curious enough to go back and watch it so they don't feel left out of the conversation about how long the ads are. Now you're thinking like a ghoul, I think. I have no idea what a ghoul is but it's probably not an Italian guy in vampire makeup. Where's the dog face? Where's the shapeshifting? Was the hoagie the ghoul the entire time? Why are police turning in their badges over a vaccine when the only other job opportunities for them are in Amazon warehouses? These are questions I expect answers to, Dietz & Watson. You know depending on the amount of hooves that make it into your deli meat, they might actually be ghouls.*
- Erik

## Context

1. ↑ At the time this lesson was produced, police officers had recently been required to take a vaccine for COVID-19. Those that refused were put on unpaid leave or resigned.

## Video

```

```