AMBiTiON/Story/Ch. 11

## Stormy-Not-Stormy

 *The band is still a bit tense, but they return to the studio regardless. It seems Mai has choice words for Sorae.*

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Nothing had changed since their last Friday rehearsal. Chihiro still felt completely lost, Aki and Izumi still tried to mediate, and Sorae still inched just a little from Moriuchi-san when she saw her today. Nothing Chihiro or Aki said could sate Sorae's paranoia. And Moriuchi-san still hadn't said a word to any of them, possibly only to Izumi when the two were at Haneoka... Not like Chihiro would know.

And yet, they all decided to return to rehearsal this time. In Chihiro's case, it was for a slim glimpse of hope that it wouldn't worsen any more. Yes, it was a fluke, Chihiro had convinced herself stiffly. Surely, not even a lone-wolf-type like Moriuchi-san could possibly be so uncooperative.

She had to continue. She had to reach her goal.

And so, Chihiro tried to count their blessings: Sorae didn't seem particularly on-edge in any capacity when she chatted at school today, and...

"Hey hey, guys!" Izumi grinned as she recalled something. "I forgot to say, Kiyomi finally agreed to teach me drums~!"

"Oh, seriously? Nice!" Aki responded cheerfully.

Things progressed as normal. Chihiro, Izumi, and Sorae set up their respective instruments. Apparently, Aki found an unused keyboard case in her home the other day, and since it was practically good as new, she'd bring her own keyboard from home now. Chihiro thought Moriuchi-san would have wanted a guitar to play around with, but quoting verbatim: "I would prefer to simply watch this time. I can do more research on my own for now." Wouldn't kill that dictionary to contract her words a little, would it? Whatever. Fine by Chihiro that they could save up.

As per before, the four played Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, which had become their 'default practice song"... As if they could even play anything else. She supposed they did mess with random stuff like Aki's keyboard settings, or Izumi's drum pattern. At some point, Aki instructed them on how to play it in 'relative minor', whatever that meant in music-ology, but all that was more like taping feathers to a human and expecting them to fly.

Meanwhile, the stoic Moriuchi-san stood by the bench, wearing an emotionless expression as always. But unlike last time, she seemed to be looking over a school assignment, as if she wasn't even aware that she was standing in a rehearsal studio. Chihiro could only wonder why Moriuchi-san was even there if she was just going to study or whatever... Credits where it was due, it was a good call on her part that she didn't rent a guitar.

"... How I wonder what you are." Chihiro sighed as the song ended. She wondered how long it would take for her to get used to singing in front of people.

Since they didn't know how to play anything - and of course, it was extraordinarily strange playing the same basic song back to back - they took to spending a few minutes talking before Aki was scheduled to start teaching them about various bits of music. Sorae switched off the amp and, as to avoid tripping over a cable, unplugged her bass before stumbling in Izumi's direction.

"H-Hey, Izumi-chan..."

"'Sup?"

"Would you say... you get a lot of homework? L-Like, since you're in second-year like me?"

"Sure, I guess. Hmm~," Izumi held her chin in thought. "But when I do, I just do it!"

"E-Eh? I don't get it... I got an essay to hand in after the weekend, and I-I still have math and English to do, and history..."

"What the?" Chihiro joined in. "Y-You're not making this sound appealing. Maybe I'll just stay a first-year," she let out a laugh.

"I-It isn't appealing!" Sorae gripped her bass tighter. "It's all homework, homework... and college, and jobs, and homework..."

"I guess you gotta work hard so you can get a good job when you graduate." Aki chimed in. How unexpected that Little Miss Genius could say it like it was as simple as sleeping.

"B-But I don't wanna~!" Sorae whined. "I don't get why everything has to be all stress and respond-- responsibility. I-I just... wanna do whatever I want and be happy."

'That's one way to starve and die,' Chihiro thought, but she admitted she could see the sentiment. "Well, if you had to, what *do* you want to be when you grow up?"

Everyone collectively went quiet for a moment, thinking about the age-old question.

"I... I've never known how to answer that." Sorae murmured. "P-People say I should be an artist, since I like to draw, but if I turn my hobby into my job, I-I'll end up hating it! I wanna draw because I like it, not because I was f-forced to..." Chihiro thought the bags under her eyes looked a little darker than usual. "Hey, d-don't people say happiness is the most important thing? If only I could just... live the way I want to..."

The three beside Sorae nodded contemplatively. "I get it, Raa-kun~. Even though I'm a year away from graduating, I have no idea too!" Izumi tilted her head in thought. "So I'll... go with the flow and follow wherever life gets me~!"

"Same," Chihiro agreed.

Aki didn't speak, only holding a distant, almost regretful expression.

"O-Oh, um, anyways..." Sorae tried to wrap up, about to head back to where she left her cable on the floor like a dead snake. "Sorry, I-I didn't mean to go off topic there... Mrm, I'm tired--"

"Please stop there, Ishizawa-senpai."

Suddenly frozen, the four turned to look at the dead-eyed Moriuchi-san as she slowly, menacingly, approached Sorae with heavy steps. Sorae flashed Aki a scared look as Moriuchi-san began to speak.

"It is not my intention to interrupt, but I became curious of your conversation a moment ago. What was it that you expressed about yourself?"

"W-Wha? Um, I don't like... homework? A-And stressful stuff? Or did you mean--"

"And... why would you say that is?" Moriuchi-san gazed upon Sorae with an unrelenting stare.

"'Cause, well..."

Her face lacked a characteristic of humanity. "I will answer for you this time. It is because of your naiveté, your foolishness. You know nothing but to waste time, going on about how you desire happiness, and to lead a simple life. You will never succeed this way." What was Moriuchi-san's intent? To mock? To lecture? "'Happiness'... such a fickle concept. It is hard to believe you're even a day older than me. At this rate, you may as well stay a child forever."

Why had she spoken with such a matter-of-fact tone? And why, pray tell... was her expression so utterly empty?

Izumi tried to speak. "Geez, Moriuchi, she didn't ask! Leave Raa-kun alone~!" But she was utterly ignored.

"Be realistic, Ishizawa-senpai. The world does not revolve around 'what you want'."

Chihiro had forgotten that Sorae still had the bass in her hands until the girl drew it closer to her body. She stood paralyzed, save for a miniscule tremble. She looked small.

Aki watched on, but there was yet no sign of anger from the girl with the bleeding heart. "... Moriuchi-san...?"

And Chihiro. The one that was supposed to be their leader. Witnessing the ordeal, she could only hear her ears buzz, could only feel useless words choking up in her throat. She couldn't even stop whatever this was from happening. Only watching from the sidelines, asking how the conversation swerved so suddenly this way.

"And... A-And what do you think I should be doing?

She thought she couldn't be more surprised, but she was proven wrong when the fearful Sorae suddenly retorted out of the blue.

"You?" Moriuchi-san, on the other hand, didn't seem shocked by the reply. Her voice was monotone. "I cannot speak for everyone, but personally, I do my work and live on. I do not have a need for worthless concepts such as 'trying to be happy' - It only serves to obstruct."

"So, d-do you mean... doing your homework and nothing else...?"

"'Work' is not limited to schoolwork. But yes, I do so to take responsibility for my own future, unlike you."

Another silence followed. After what felt like an eternity, Sorae murmured with a shaky voice.

"S-So are-- are you even taking care of yourself? You're doing nothing but... waking up, working, sleeping, and repeat? Just d-doing whatever work you get thrown like a m-machine... but, don't you ever question it? Or, um, don't you ever think about it?"

Moriuchi-san's silence was telling. Sorae's eyes then seemed to narrow in a mix of determination to prove herself, and determination not to burst into tears. "Y-You don't, do you...? So can you call that responsible? Aren't you... just as bad as me...?!"

As if something flashed by her chestnut-brown gaze, Moriuchi-san's eyes widened ever so slightly, finally giving a reaction. She never answered her question.

Gathering enough courage and taking the chance, Sorae hobbled away from Moriuchi-san and to Chihiro and Aki. Her voice came out as a whisper.

"S-Sorry, but, I'm n-not really in the mood for practicing anymore. C-Can I go early?" The corners of Sorae's mouth turned stiffly upward, but something in her yellow eyes made her look like she was on the verge of crumbling away. Still petrified numb, Chihiro could do nothing but nod.

The strap of the bass guitar slipped off of Sorae's shoulder before she packed up. Then, she got her bag from the bench. "Aki-chan, Chihiro-chan," The door scarcely opened, "s-see you on Monday, okay?" Chihiro blinked and the door was shut. She could just barely make out the sound of a jingling keychain, leading itself further and further away.

The next to move was Moriuchi-san. The expressionless girl picked up her phone from her bag, her thumbs moving swiftly as if typing something before she blandly announced, "Excuse the intrusion." And she calmly exited the room without another word.

Izumi sighed audibly. "Why! Why, why, why~?!"

"W-Why what?" Chihiro managed to utter.

"Why does Moriuchi have to be so difficult? Why'd she even ask to join in the first place if she's just gonna pull crap like this?!" Izumi yelled, with Chihiro thankful that the room was soundproof. "Huh! Y'know, I think maybe I should give some kind of sorry. I mean--!" She intercepted before Aki could say she shouldn't be. "I was the one that brought her, and now she's like, out here doing whatever she's doing," Izumi crossed her arms with a troubled look and grumbled.

Aki spoke next. "Come on now, I should be sorry. I know what kind of role people want me to play, but I couldn't even do it when it counted... How can anyone rely on me when I mess up something like this?"

Silently, Chihiro stared down at the loose cotton thread, riding the seam of her uniform. She touched it - The strands came undone. She knew, of course, that taking a piece of the blame as the others did would make her look quite noble, but in that moment, she couldn't even think the things she was so used to thinking - What she knew was that she was not at fault. But then, who was?

Everyone stood looking at each other for a second before Izumi let out a bitter chuckle. "Well, not that there's much time left but," she paced near the door, "wanna go early?"

Chihiro and Aki agreed. *Very* good call that Moriuchi-san didn't rent a guitar.

After bidding Aki a 'see you' as she left for the train station, Chihiro's walk home with Izumi was unusually quiet.

"You think we should do something about Moriuchi?" Izumi spoke out of nowhere.

"Boy, if that's not ominous..."

"Don't worry, I won't kick her out. I'll just hunt her down!" The short girl laughed. "Seriously though, don't you think we should do something? Poor Raa-kun's getting borderline bullied~!"

Chihiro looked up at the sky, covered by a canopy of leaves. White clouds in the distance teased oncoming rain, and the power lines across the street ran parallel from each other. "But what? Moriuchi-san doesn't listen to any of us."

"We'll... cross that bridge when we get to it!"

The pair soon stopped talking. Yet, Chihiro had so much left to say, and so little at the same time. When they reached that familiar split in the road, Izumi forced a smile and waved Chihiro goodbye. Chihiro thought that something more than their exchange came to an unsatisfying close.

It seemed the sky had betrayed her, just as the world did for so long.

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