Rhonda

Rhonda is the thirty fifth chapter in the Wombles Eight.

Batman woke up with a start. “Welcome back Batman!  My adorable vampire fly traps have finished feeding for now.  But I’m afraid you might feel a little weak though.”  It was Ivy’s voice floating somewhere in Bruce’s head.

“What do you want Isley?” Batman asked in a slurred voice.  The vampire fly traps had left him feeling like he was drunk.  “A deal darling” replied Ivy.  “What deal?” asked Bruce.  “It was setup by Catwoman really but I’ll tell you.  There really is nothing you can do about it!” Ivy sneered. “We need something from one of our rivals and *you* are the price!”

“Rival?  Who?  Who is this deal with?” Bruce asked.  “That would be telling!” Selina said.  Bruce was just going to reply when the fly traps crept down again.  Their teeth sank into his arm and everything went black and red.

James Bond was relaxing with a Vodka Martini and the first pretty lady he could find.  Reaping souls for the Devil was hard work and drinking with a random woman helped him wind down.  He finished his drink and headed to the bar for another.  As he reached the bar somebody hit him hard on the head. Bond fell unconscious at Superman’s feet.  “Sorry folks! You can carry on as you were now!” announced Superman as he flew away with Bond.

Bond’s eyes fluttered open. A beautiful woman was looking at him. He reached out to take the woman’s hands.  To his surprise she slapped him hard.  Hard enough to draw blood.

Bond felt himself being hauled up onto his feet as a gold coloured lasso was fixed around him. Immediately he felt strange.  The head stopped throbbing but he felt powerless. The woman asked him sternly “Did you kill Templeton Peck?”  MI6 training was to empty your mind and refill it with anything but the information your interrogator wants.  This time there was no chance of that.

“No!  The rider!  He took Peck’s soul for the Devil.” Bond said without knowing why.  He was compelled to talk and thought he must be drugged. “Who is the rider?” asked the woman. “I am” said Bond.  “Did you make a deal?  With the Devil?  Why?” she asked.  “Yes, to save myself from torture.  Trigon sent me to hell with the wombles!” Bond blurted out.

“Good!  Did you kill Sir Miles Messervy?” asked the woman. “You’re being rather hard on him Diana” said Superman in the Batcave.  “I have to Kal!  It’s for his own good.” Wonder Woman replied.  She repeated the question.  “Yes! Killed the imposter!  Killed the invader!” Bond shouted feeling desperate. “No” said Superman “You killed the real M.  The invader died at Grand Steed Manor!”.

Bond suddenly realised what he had done and felt heavily remorseful.  He hadn’t cared for many people in his life but M had his utmost respect.  Superman and Wonder Woman saw the reaction and understood what Bond was going through. “Diana I don’t think there’s any point in sending him to prison.  He’s been a hero so many times and if he learns to control his powers.  Well could he?” asked Superman.  “Join us?” replied Wonder Woman “Maybe with training.  Can I take him to the Fortess?”  “Of course.  Will you take the jet?” asked Superman.  Wonder Woman nodded and lead Bond out of the cave to fly out to the Fortress of Solitude.

Diana put a blindfold over Bond’s eyes.  Bond didn’t resist having experienced what she could do and appreciated the second chance. He was lead up some steps and steered into a comfortable seat.  A restraint was clicked into place across his chest.  He barely felt the swab on his arm followed by a needle sliding in.  All he felt for a while was deep sleep as the invisible jet smoothly took off.

Bungo opened his eyes. He was laying on Wimbledon Common looking up into Tomsk’s eyes.  “You’re awake!  Sorry Bungo she got away.” Tomsk said sadly.  “Who got away?” asked Bungo as the others started to wake up.  “Rhonda!” replied Tomsk.  “Rhonda?  Isn’t she dead?” asked Tobermory.  “Obviously not!” added Mother.  Wellington went into the MoT with Tobermory, Bungo and Alderney.  They emerged a few minutes later perplexed.

“Nothing” said Wellington. “Nothing left?” asked Idaho. “Nothing taken” said Bungo. “Rhonda broke in from nowhere and took nothing?” asked Yellowstone.  “Correct” replied Alderney.  “The question is why!  Bungo, Shansi, PMW, Wellington please find her and bring her back for questioning.” Alderney continued.

“Tomsk tell us what happened please” Bungo asked.  Tomsk felt like he did on the day of snow womble as he replied.  “I was on watch in the car park when a woman came running off the common screaming for help.  So I waved and she came running over.  As she came nearer I thought I recognised her face.  It was just coming to me, who she was, when she barged right past me into a big red bus.”

Wellington stood well clear of the others and his Iron Womble suit started to fly into him and assemble itself.

“My bus!  She took my bus!” shouted Mother.  “Yes she did but don’t worry I’ve reported it as stolen.” Tomsk calmly replied giving Bungo, Shansi, PMW and Wellington the registration number.  Shansi noted down the registration MOT43R while Bungo tapped it into his tracking GPS and Wellington downloaded it.

Bungo, Shansi and PMW roared away on their Bikes with Wellington flying above the MI12 agents.  Iron Womble locked onto the bus and led the charge through London.  After speeding through West London the bus was found abandoned.  Wellington downloaded CCTV footage from the area. “Found her!  Guildford station entering a train to Salisbury.

Bungo, Shansi and PMW wasted no time in roaring out to the M4.  Iron Womble took the direct route up high arriving at Salisbury a long way before the bikes.  Wellington waited for the train to arrive.  As it was pulling into the station at Salisbury Bungo appeared. “Made it!  Shansi and PMW are covering the exits.”  Bungo was a little out of breath from the fast, bendy ride.

“Shh  There she is!” whispered back Wellington as Rhonda got off of the train.  Rhonda walked away from both exits toward a wall which backed onto a big garden. Bungo and Wellington started to move in when a big green tendril snaked over the wall.  It wrapped around Rhonda’s waist and pulled her over. Wellington flew through the wall. Bungo sprinted after him to find his friend looking confused.

Both wombles searched the garden finding no sign of Rhonda.  Suddenly Wellington shouted “Look out Bungo!”  But it was too late!  A huge plant clubbed Bungo hard on the head with a spade.  Bungo crashed to the ground as Wellington flew off in pursuit of the plant.  The plant amazed Wellington by its size and bizarrely it was escaping with Rhonda using parkour.