Umgah

The **Umgah** are a race of pranksters whose warped sense of humor knows no bounds. They are purple blobbish creatures with multiple eyes, mouths and tentacles. They foster an interest in bio-science, and amuse themselves by affixing extra appendages to their blob-like bodies.

## Biology

As their nickname implies, the Umgah seem to be little more than bags of ooze, lacking any sort of rigid support structure or even body divisions. Mouths and tentacles erupt randomly from their dumpy form, and enough eyes to stare down a potato(e) dot the Umgah. Their ships, interior lined with some sort of living tissue system, are known to be warm, moist places, fitting for such amorphous lumps.

## Culture

The Umgah have a warped sense of humor, and while humans find their attitudes somewhat amusing, many other races, notably the Pkunk and Spathi, do not take such light views. Where they got this from is anybody's guess. Perhaps it came from the Umgah's claimed expertise at genetic modification, stemming from controlled practical jokes such as sneaking in genes for an extra bulbous protrusion in another's food, perhaps it has been a lurking trait in all Umgah since day one. In any event, the Umgah take great delight in bringing mischievous misery to their hapless neighbors.

The Umgah act to all as clever yet horribly devious children, presumably every bit as annoying to their would-be overlords the Ur-Quan Kzer-Za as they are to other races. They do tend to fall in line when threatened, oh, with annihilation, but anything short of a Dreadnought task force will not do the trick. This attitude may have brought open warfare to the Umgah's door if it weren't for their guile; choosing pranks in manners which cannot, without some (minor) deductive work, be traced back to the Umgah. Perhaps they silently fear retribution for their pranks, or perhaps they just don't want to get caught. In any circumstances, the Umgah, somewhat like the Orz, put their own pleasure light years ahead of the well being of others. Although not necessarily evil, the Umgah are base, and delight in tormenting other sentients with well planned practical jokes with unforeseen and catastrophic long-term effects. The near annihilation of the Pkunk is a fine example of such a joke gone awry. As such, their efforts inevitably spell disaster and should be hampered by other races.

## History

Umgah evolved on a mountainous world with many small seas. They live underground, in moist and closed dwellings. This is because all Umgah fear open areas and spaces. The most apparent feature in the Umgah culture is humor — Umgah hate boredom above all else, and are always looking for more ways to have fun. Sometimes they even play cruel and harmful jokes on other races, just to laugh their bellies off, seeming to favor the Spathi as victims due to their extreme, natural cowardice (and close location).

An Umgah is believed to be responsible for condemning the Spathi to be bound into service as Hierarchy Battle Thralls. They are also guilty of impersonating the Ilwrath gods Dogar and Kazon and responsible for the war the Ilwrath wage against the Pkunk.

Despite their antics in teasing or bullying other neighbouring species the Umgah have maintained friendly relationships with the Arilou Lalee'lay, even during wartime when they were on the opposing sides. The Arilou frequently visit the Umgah stars of Orionis, because one of their naturally occurring QuasiSpace Portals happens to be nearby.

Historically, it is said that the Umgah were the first race in our region of space to be defeated by the Ur-Quan Kzer-Za and the first race to become Battle Thralls. However, the Thraddash also claim this "honor," and it most probably belongs to them as the Kzer-Za, given the direction of their arrival, would have encountered the Thraddash before the Umgah.

They also played a role in the events during the second Doctrinal Conflict and the defeat of both Ur-Quan factions, as they received an injured Talking Pet, rescued by the Arilou from an Ur-Quan shipwreck. The Umgah turn this benign Talking Pet into the malicious neo-Dnyarri, which quickly takes control of the entire Umgah race and put them to work on a plan to exact some kind of revenge on the Ur-Quan. The Captain is able to free the Umgah from the neo-Dnyarri's psychic compulsion, and the Umgah reward him in true Umgah fashion, by first revealing their findings that the Mycon are actually created by someone, then giving 500 biological data, then... (after changing The Captain's title from "Great Hero" to "Great Enemy") attacking them with their Drones en masse, not before transferring four of their ships to The Captain's fleet.

## Pranks

The Umgah are known for their distorted, sadistic sense of humor. They used to play various pranks on other races, especially the cowardly Spathi; the known Umgah pranks are listed below.

**HyperWave Caster tricks**

Using a powerful HyperWave Caster, the Umgah played some "minor" pranks on the Spathi (with disastrous consequences), as well as a routine prank on the Ilwrath, which ended only when the Spathi stole the Caster, hiding it on their temporary homeworld, Epsilon Gruis I-A.

**Ilwrath**

The Umgah, around 2147, used their Caster to impersonate the twin Ilwrath gods, Dogar and Kazon, giving their commandments to their faithful on Channel 44. This caused a revolution of the Ilwrath believers against their priest caste, whose reputation had already greatly decreased. The Umgah commanded Dogar and Kazon's followers to attack the 'Bird Beings' (interpreted as the Pkunk by the Ilwrath).

**Spathi**

The Umgah also used their Caster to impersonate several fictitious malevolent beings — the Grand Master Planet Eaters, Jud the Ineffable Vug (a prank which the Spathi claim not to have fallen for) and Killmaster 18.

**Other pranks**

When the Spathi were conquered by the Ur-Quan Kzer-Za, they were asked to decide whether they wanted to be Fallow Slaves or Battle Thralls. They sent a white rod to the Ur-Quan (representing the choice of being a Fallow Slave), but the Umgah courier assigned to perform the transport swapped the rod for a black one, which stood for the choice of being a Battle Thrall. The Spathi thus became Battle Thralls, against their will.

In addition, the Umgah are believed to have unleashed the Evil Ones' menace on the Spathi, accelerating the latter's transition to the space age.

Some minor pranks are also known:

* Capturing and dissecting a Mycon (they clonked it on the head to study its capability of causing genetic modification by just thinking it; they keep the incident secret, unwilling to suffer a Mycon or Ur-Quan retaliation, unless The Captain asks them for their secrets after becoming Great Hero).
* Clogging the life support systems of an entire Spathi Eluder fleet with foul-smelling goo (which resulted in some unwanted hostilities).
* Changing The Captain's status from Great Hero to Great Enemy and attacking him.
* Apologizing for declaring the captain as Great Enemy and making him "Honorary King", only to sound the "king-killing horn" and attack him.

Two pranks that fortunately did not come to pass were using the neo-Dnyarri to compel the Spathi to attack the VUX, thwarted by the creature's rise to power, and dropping a planetoid on the ocean of the "stupid nosers from Draconis" (the Thraddash), prevented by both species' status as Battle Thralls.