Hermione & Harry: The New Adventures of the Chosen One

Hermione & Harry: The New Adventures of the Chosen One is the twelfth chapter in the Wombles Seven.

Please don't kill me

Over on the other side of the world …

The snow was wildly whipping into the lean figure in green.  The face was covered by a stripy scarf wound round and round.  The storm only stung the figure’s brown eyes which were visible under the broad rimmed green hat.  He struggled on through the wild mountainous terrain.  It was tough going in the storm but persistence finally paid off.

After the months in the Himalayas a massive white creature emerged through the swirling cloud of snow.  “I’ve done it!” whispered the figure in green after capturing the image of the yeti! Or so he thought.  A flare was fired and the sound of helicopter buzzed through the storm.  A ladder fell down and was grasped by the green hatted figure.

The Chinook turned to fly back to London but something was wrong!  A giant furry white paw held the dangling ladder. It was joined by more of the furry giants.  The womblets headed back to their burrow pulling the Chinook into a massive tidy bag.

The figure in green unwound his scarf to reveal his face.  “E-Explorer as I live and breathe!” said the pilot enthusiastically.  The pilot was Howling Mad Murdock.  “The legendary Murdock” replied the explorer then everything went white.

Back at John’s Tearooms, Constantine seemed surprised to see a man in a radiation suit show up.  So did everyone else in the café, maybe except for Harry (Potter).

“And who are you then?” asked Constantine.

“David Vincent.” Replied the man in the radiation suit, “Can I check your fingers?”

“Check my what?”

“Your fingers.  I need to be sure that you aren’t an invader.”

“Sorry Mr Vincent, but I’d prefer to keep my hands to myself.  I don’t know anything about this invasion nonsense, and me and my friend here would like to get back to work.”  Then Constantine pulled Harry over to the table where Seaboy and John Kingsley were sitting.

“Oh, you again.” Said John Kingsley, “Do you need something, John?”

“As a matter of fact I do, John.  Mr Bruce Wayne rejected me for his team, so I need to build my own one.  Do you have any special abilities?”

“SECRET SPYING IS MY TOP SPECIALITY!” shouted John Kingsley very loudly. Nobody in the café apart from Harry and Constantine seemed to notice.  Constantine was annoyed, and said, “Never mind.  We’ll look elsewhere.”

As they were walking out the building, Harry whispered to Constantine, “Are we assembling a team of wizards?”

“Of sorts.  They’ll need to be experienced, though, people who know the dark arts down to a T. Your friends probably aren’t good enough.  No offense intended.”

Harry looked blank, then said, “Okay, where are we going to find people like that?”

“I know a few.” Replied Constantine, “Firstly let’s go find the Trinity of Sin.  Pandora, The Question and the Phantom Stranger.  Then we can get help from my demon friend Etrigan, and a monster I know named Swamp Thing.”

“Those are strange names.”

“They’re only nicknames.  My one is ‘The Hellblazer’.”

“I see.  And who are all those people you listed?”

“Y’know Harry, for the greatest wizard of your time, you seem to know a bit less than a little about the occult and the history of great wizards.  You’re basing everything on what you learnt at Hogwarts, aren’t you?”

“Everything I know is what I learnt at Hogwarts.  What else would I base my knowledge on?”

“Oh, Harry.  There is so much more to be learnt than what you learn there.  You signed up for this mission knowing nothing about what it’s like. Why?  D’you have some kind of ulterior motive?”

“What?  No!  Of course not!  Why would I-“

“Ah, see, you’re panicking now, Harry.  Something’s going on behind my back.  I don’t like that.”  Then, Constantine apparated away.

Harry sighed to himself and said, “I’ll catch up with him later.”  Then he walked down a dark alley.

“Are you there?” he called to someone.

“Yes, Harry, I’m here.” Replied a female voice, then Hermione stepped out of the shadows.  “How’s it going with Constantine?” she asked.

“He’s onto me.” Replied Harry, “He knows I have an ulterior motive.  But he has no clue what it is yet, so we’re okay.”

“Good.” Replied Hermione.  She turned around, then asked, “Ron is locked up in Cadmus?”, trying to hold in a tear.

“Yes.” Answered Harry.  “If he doesn’t escape- and he probably won’t-, then they’ll kill him soon enough.”

Hermione sighed, turned back round, and asked, “Don’t you think it’s a bit… extreme to kill him?  After all, I did love him before all this.”

“Yes, I know.  And I was always fond of him.  But if we’re going to do this thing… He can’t be in our way.”

“Can’t we just let him live and keep it a secret?”

“There’s no way he wouldn’t find out!  Besides, I’m terrible at keeping secrets.”

“And Ginny?”

“We’ll just repeat our actions.  Lure her to Cadmus.  It’s a shame, but it’ll be worth it.”

“You’re saying it’s worth becoming murderers?”

“We won’t kill them, Cadmus will.  But yes.  Everything is worth it.  Without them, we’ll finally be free.  All is fair in love and war.”

Then Harry leaned in and they kissed.