Flava Crava (Video)

## Video

This video appears to be from an earlier time, before "Jreg" existed. When one checks Jreg's channel URL, one will see that the channel URL is user/flavacrava, suggesting that Jreg (or "flavacrava," as he was then known) created his YouTube channel for the sole purpose of this school project.

The plot shows hints of the modern Jreg, potentially showing that he was possessed by the Extremists even all that long ago.

Much like the video advertising for "Big DVD Case," this video takes the form of an infomercial, this time for the product "The Flava-Tron 3000 -The crazy candy machine that will drive your tastebuds wild!"

### Introduction

The video opens up with a spiel by the Flava Crava Salesman (an unnamed character, portrayed by Jreg with a clothespin on his chin), who claims that the Flava Crava machine offers candy in "thirty flavors and thirty shapes that you can choose from." He claims that "This is the best candy experience - In. Your. Life!"

The video then cuts to another Flava Crava spokesperson, who goes into detail about the technical specifications of the Flava-Tron, and the flavors it offers. They include "sweet, sweet banana, EXTREME strawberry, fruit explosion, and Tiger Tail Blast." While the first two are obviously references to AnCap and Tankie, it is unclear if the other two extremists are represented here. Perhaps Jreg had not yet been possessed by the other two extremists?

### Interviews

What follows are a rapid-fire succession of interviews with various satisfied customers, including Count Jambaloney (**"FLAVA CRAVA IS THE BEST THING THAT I'VE EVER TASTED!!!"**), Elizabeth (voiced by a feminine, young adult's voice over Jreg's body), and Elizabeth's great-grandma. Only notable among these is Elizabeth's great-grandma, who claims that Flava Crava "makes me feel lovely and young again!" before diving at the camera and demanding her medication. This is believed to be the first instance of Jreg making commentary on substance abuse and the ineffectiveness of conventional medication. Clearly, early versions of the themes of the Centricide saga are all present within this first video.

### Conclusion

To wrap up this masterpiece, we see a third spokesperson from Flava Crava, who tells us that "you too can receive an order of Flava Crava! Just call the number below!" pointing to a phone number which is displayed on screen, which reads as 555-6352-1754-4263. This number does not seem to represent anything politically or historically significant. The video ends with shortly afterwards.

## Reflection

This is the first video of the Jreg/Flava Crava Cinematic Universe, as far as most researchers can tell. It opens the door to many themes which are later fleshed out more thoroughly by future videos, and provides a good insight into Jregorovich Guevara's mind. It is largely capitalist in nature, being an infomercial, however one key detail is often overlooked by many viewers: in the opening frames, we are informed that this video is "*The Flava Crava,* made by the Flava-Tron 3000." What this seems to suggest is that this video, and potentially all future videos in the Centricide series, are all auto-generated by an artificial intelligence known as "The Flava-Tron 3000." It is unknown what happened to the other 2999 Flava-Trons, or the extent of the Flava-Tron's power over our own lives, but it is wise to be very wary of such a machine. Especially with the betrayal of Transhumanist in Centricide 8, we know that robots and AI are suspect of being "essentially just ... accelerated Centrist[s]."

In an interview conducted by Knowyourmeme, Jreg says this about the video.

Q: Your first video, “Flava Crava,” was a parody commercial for a fictional food product. What was the inspiration behind that and was this your first foray into making parodies?

A: Flava Crava was a school project I made in Grade 6 about a candy machine. The motive was to critique neoliberal consumerism. We all yearn to taste delicious candy that the Flava Crava creates. It’s bursting with enough flavour to drive a person mad. Clearly, everybody wants to try this Flava Crava. And, yet, at the end, when the number to call shows up -- 555-6352-1754-4263 -- it leads nowhere. A dead end. There is no Flava Crava. There is only the idea of the Flava Crava. I remember the whole class including the teacher laughing at the commercial, and my teacher saying, “You know, if writing doesn’t work out for Greg, he could always be an actor!” I think she was zinging my writing abilities more than she was complimenting my acting. The “Jreg” channel was actually called “Flava Crava” up until a couple of years ago and annoyingly will sometimes still default to that URL (youtube.com/flavacrava) when you search up my channel.