LOL Seattle Mariners History

The **Seattle Mariners** are one of the current MLB Legacies of Failure and the only team not to make a world series. Their dick punches can be felt for miles.

This article only covers the Mariners, the Pilots will be covered under the Milwaukee Brewers.

## Decade of Failure

#### **Screw Milwaukee!**

* Following the whole disaster with the Pilots, the state of Washington was given another team called the Mariners who started playing in 1977.
* Their first winning season wouldn't come until **1991.**
* They had a couple ownership changes in the interim. The team was purchased in 1992 by Nintendo Chairman Hiroshi Yamauchi. While frowned upon this may have been how Ichiro got there.

#### **Now with Vagabonding**

* The 1994 season was pretty much the cultivation of how the franchise was up to this point.
	+ This is where the franchise started turning it around, with Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey Jr., and Edgar Martinez among the Mariners roster.
	+ But in July, thanks to the city not giving a fuck about the team for so long, part of their stadium's roof collapsed, resulting in the Mariners going on an extended road trip, but they still played well.
	+ Then the players strike happened and the season ended.
* Going into 1995, the franchise was on the brink of leaving the city since the Kings county voters saw nothing good out of the team the past decade to approve a new stadium. Then... something happened.
	+ The Mariners made it into the playoffs and advanced to the ALC game until losing to the Indians, this would give a ton of voters a change of heart and approve the new stadium.
* But since there wasn't much of a stable budget for the roster, the team would go back to losing from 96-99. At least Seattle got the votes before that happened?
	+ Randy Johnson requested to be traded in 1998, the Yankees offered Mariano Rivera (who was still a starting pitcher at this time) as a trade but Seattle refused, he was instead traded to Houston.
	+ Girffin Jr. then requested to be traded to Cincinnati so he can be closer with his family.
	+ The Mariners also traded prospect David Ortiz to Minnesota for Dave Hollins, who only played for the team for a year. For those not familiar with baseball, David Ortiz also goes by the nickname Big Papi.
	+ One bright spot: this is where Alex Rodriguez started developing.

## New Millenia, same crotch shots

#### **Becoming property of the Evil Empire**

* The 2000 season brought the Mariners back to the playoffs, which is where they were introduced to the New York Yankees in the ALCs losing in six
* A-Rod become a free agent that off season, but the Mariners weren't willing to lock him into a long term high salary contract. The Rangers however were dumb enough to do it, and as a result he was later traded to the Yankees. It was pretty much the only outcome.
* It didn't matter to the Mariners, because that off season they got Japanese baseball sensation Ichiro Suzuki
* The good fortune of Ichiro was what the franchise needed for the 2001 season.
	+ A-Rod would also get booed in his return to Safeco, with fans throwing Monopoly game money at him, lol.
	+ The Mariners dominated the league with an iron fist, **116 wins,** which of course at the time tied the highest record of wins in a season set by the Cubs in 1906. Eight players would also be sent to the All Star game that year, which coincidentally, was in Seattle, the stars were aligning.
	+ **The Yankees would beat them in the ALCS in 5.**
* The Athletics and Angels would outshine them in the 2002 season and knock the Mariners out of playoff contention, Lou Pinella got pissed off at management for not finding any contributors before the trade deadline (hence leading to the season coming up short) and left the team for Tampa Bay.
* Pinella wasn't kidding when he said management was the ones fucking up, the following season (2003) they would again balk on any major moves as the Athletics made it to the playoffs.
	+ Pitcher Jeff Nelson, the former Yankee pitcher who won four World Series with hem, was also publicly criticizing the front office during the season, the Mariners responded by trading him back to the Yankees.
* The Mariners then decided to make some organizational moves since what they were doing wasn't working, Pat Gillick moved from GM to consultant and Bill Bavasi became the GM, most of you know what happens here.