The Walking Contradiction (Reedboot)

* Written by Reedman211 and -Price-

*we hear a phone ringing*

Gashon: -groans-

*phone rings louder*

*Gashon groans harder*

*phone rings even louder*

*Gashon groans even **HARDER***

*phone stops*

Gashon: THANK YOU

*phone rings again*

Gashon: WHAT DOES A HARD WORKING CITIZEN HAVE TO DO TO GET REST AROUND HERE!

*Gashon answers his phone and*

It's revealed to be Gashmom (Betty White).

Gashmom: Hi sweetie; we're in Mexico!

Gashon: Why are you in Mexico?

Gashdad (Bill Murray): Because this is where you were born!

Gashmom: Yes, right on this table me and your father are eating on.

Gashdad: You were made here too!

Gashon: Why do you people call me?

Gashmom: Gashon Ariel Cansaker you need to see us more!

Gashdad: Yes, we miss you son.

Gashon: What? I see you guys enough..

*Kahar Zamet (Rainn Wilson) appears outside Gashon's window.*

Gashon walks over to his fridge and pulls out two eggs, milk and chocolate syrup and

then he mixes all the ingredients in his blender.

Gashmom: Promise us you'll visit my little cariña

Gashon: It's cariño mom! The o is masculine!

Gashdad: Oh ho son but we thought you'd be a girl before you popped out

Gashmom: Yes, remember his room was pink at first!

Gashdad: Yeah, the doctors didn't realize you were a boy on the scan

Gashmom: They couldn't see that you were clearly a boy

Gashdad: Perhaps it was too small to see and they misjudged you for a girl. We nev-

Gashon: SHUT UP I'LL VISIT OKAY?

*A knock is heard on Gashon's door.*

Gashon: Ugh what now.

*Gashon sees Kahar at his door.*

Kahar: HI GASHY

Gashon: Oh no...

Gashmom: Is that your male friend I hear Gashon?

Gashdad: You should bring him along!

Gashmom: You two really seem like a great coup-

*Gashon hangs up the phone.*

Gashon: What the f\*\*\* are you doing here?

Kahar: Gashon, it's not polite to swear.

Gashon: Who the f\*\*\* told you that?

Kahar: My mom.

Gashon: And do you still live with your mo- wait don't answer that.

Kahar: Who was on the phone, Gashon?

Gashon: No one. Go away.

Kahar: Please tell me. I'm being nice. :)

*Kahar leans up against the screen door, squishing his face on it.*

Gashon: LEAVE !

Kahar: F\*\*\* you you mexican c\*\*\* I'll gibbs slap you HOW DO YOU LIKE IT HUH

Gashon: O\_O

Kahar: Sorry, sometimes I lose myself.

Gashon: Kahar, what do you want from me? Last time we were together you ruined my life.

*Kahar opens the screen door to face Gashon.*

Kahar: Your life is perfectly fine. Look at me, I live in my home playing WoW and go to work just to play WoW there. You just sit at home drinking beer and watching MTV; it's no different.

Gashon: UGH, THAT'S THE POINT!

Kahar: Well Gashon, you really should take care of yourself.

Gashon: I do. I'm on a diet.

*Gashon takes the slop from the blender and chugs it. Then he throws up all over Kahar.*

Kahar: EW, IT'S JUST LIKE 'NAM!

Gashon: 'Nam? You mean Vietnam?

Kahar: NO NAM FROM WoW!

Gashon: You make no sense!

*Gashon slams the door on Kahar and goes to sit on his couch. Gashon rethinks his life and his voice is heard by the audience.*

Gashon's voice: For some reason I am tormented by El Diablo for reasons unknown. All my life I was the center of humiliation and now what am I? The same exact thing. Maybe I should start my life all over. Give up what I have.

*Gashon turns to his half drank beer can. He then turns to the MTV channel featuring the Notorious B.I.G.*

Gashon's voice: But I like what I have.

*Another knock is heard on his door.*

Gashon: KAHAR, GO AWAY!

*The knock is heard again.*

Gashon opens the door to find a tall man (Matthew Gray Gubler) standing there.

Gashon: Who are you?

Kane: Hi, my name's Kane! I'll be your driver today!

Gashon: Driver? What? To where?

Kane: To Mexico!

Gashon: Dude, I didn't pack yet... and who sent you anyway?

Kane: A mysterious hooded figure!

*Gashon stops for a moment and stares at Kane.*

Gashon: Really?

Kane: No! It was your parents!

Gashon: Of course it was...

*Gashon packs his toothbrush, ipod, 2 pairs of pants, 4 pairs of socks, and 5 shirts. He runs back down to Kane and gets in the taxi with him.*

Kane: Your parents have paid for your room!

Gashon: I get to stay in a hotel?

Kane: The finest one in San Troll!

Gashon: Wait... San Troll doesn't have any hotels...

Kane: Hop in the back, I'll drive fast!

*Kahar hides in Gashon's bushes, watching everything happen.*

Gashon: This was kind of fast and all; I'm not sure if I'm ready to go back to my hometown.

Kane: Don't worry, it'll be a blast!

Gashon: Please don't use that word.

Kane: Blast?

Gashon: PLEASE.

Kane: Okay...

### Scene 2

*46 hours later they arrive in San Troll, Mexico. Kane pulls into the sandy front of a shitty town.*

Kane: We're here!

Gashon: Why couldn't we just take a plane?

Kane: Oh, your parents spent all their cash to drive you down here! I gave them a discount so they could afford it!

Gashon: SO I CAN'T GET BACK?

Kane: Guess not.

*Kane drives off with Gashon standing in the dirt path with his bags. Gashon looks around and sees a cantina.*

Gashon: I've got $50 bucks, why not blow it on booze...

*Gashon walks into the cantina and takes a seat at the bar.*

Gashon: I'll take a beer!

Nina (Halle Berry): Coming right up!

*Nina passes the mug of beer to Gashon. Gashon glances at her face and suddenly he feels an emotion he hasn't felt since... since...*

Casey (Adam Baldwin): HEY GASMAN!

Gashon: Oh s\*\*\*...

Casey: How's my favorite mexican?

Gashon: Casey...

*Gashon's voice then begins to talk over as Casey rambles on.*

Gashon's voice: The one thing I hate most about my hometown. The things I can't leave behind... All because of this moron. Casey. The one who's bullied me since pre school. If I never left Mexico, I don't think I could have lived longer. If anyone was worse than Kahar, Axrik or any other sucker I've ran into who's ruined my life, it'd have to be Casey.

Casey: So Gashcrack, got any advice?

Gashon: Advice? Sorry, talk to the brick wall.

Casey: Brick wall? The wall's made of clay.

Gashon: You know what I mean, Casey.

Casey: Not really Gastart. But hey, I'll have to torment you later, I've got some business to attend to.

*Casey ruffles Gashon's hair and leaves.*

Nina: You shouldn't let him push you around.

Gashon: Uh... I only let him push me around because I don't want to hurt him...

Nina: How does that work?

Gashon: Well...

*Suddenly, busting through the cantina doors comes Kahar, dressed in a sombrero, fake moustache, and poncho.*

Kahar: ADIOS MIS AMIGOS!

Nina: That means goodbye.

Gashon: KAHAR??!?!

Kahar: SURPRISED TO SEE ME? And who is your lady friend? Not a relative I hope...

Gashon: Kahar!

Kahar: Or maybe... I don't know, I've never met Gashon's family, I'm sure it's VERY big.

Gashon: Is that supposed to be racist?

Kahar: What?

Gashon: KAHAR, WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Kahar: I followed you.

Gashon: WHY?

Kahar: Well I got fired today and I figured I could hang out with you, but I realized when I was hiding in the bushes that you left and I had to find you, so I tracked you down here to Peru.

Nina: This is Mexico.

Gashon: KAHAR, YOU FREAK!

Gashdad: GASHON?

Gashmom: My baby!

Gashon: Oh no...

*Gashmom squeezes her son tight until his eyes turn red.*

Kahar: Gashon, your eyes are red. Did you sneak drugs over the border?

Gashon: SHUT UP, KAHAR!

Gashdad: Son, that's no way to talk to your friend.

Gashmom: Honey, I think this young Gentleman is Gashy's “special” friend...

Gashdad: Special? OHHHHH.

Gashon: Well now you guys see me. Happy?

*Kahar walks away and gets on stage, we can see him in the background as Gashon talks.*

Gashdad: We have a perfect trip planned for you Gash. It's going to be great! Father son bonding. Mother partner bonding and then we flip, so I get time with your mother if you know what I mean.

Gashmom: Ohhhhh stop it teeheehee.

Gashon: You guys are weird. And what partner?

*Kahar leans in to speak into a microphone on stage.*

Kahar: Hey guys, what do you call a building full of mexicans? A jail. HAHA

*No one laughs in the cantina.*

Gashon: Kahar, get down from there.

Gashmom: Kahar. What a lovely name.

Kahar: Thanks :)

Gashdad: Hey, we're having dinner tonight, join us Gash!

*Gashon grits his teeth.*

Gashon: I really shouldn't.

Gashmom: It'd be great. Bring whoever you'd like, especially Kahar!

Gashon: Ugh...

*Gashon walks out of the cantina to sit down on a crusty old bench. Suddenly a shadow appears over Gashon and he looks up in horror.*

Mirta: Gashon?

Gashon: YOU?

Mirta: How's it going, Gashon?

Gashon: How's it going? HOW'S IT GOING? I HAD TO DRIVE HOME WITH ONE F\*\*\*ING HAND THAT NIGHT I LAST SAW YOU!

Mirta: Don't be a wimp, Gashon.

Gashon: Why are you even HERE?

Mirta: I'm on a vacation with Ashkrik.

Gashon: Who the heck is Ashkrik?

Mirta: Don't ask. Anyway, what are you doing here.

Gashon: Don't ask...

*Nina comes along and hands Gashon his credit card.*

Nina: You left this at the bar.

*Gashon takes the card back and changes his pissed off attitude to a slightly less pissed off attitude.*

Gashon: Thanks! I'm Gashon by the way!

*The girl smiles and waves to him.*

Nina: Hi, I'm Nina!

Mirta: Oh please...

*Mirta grumbles to herself.*

Gashon: Oh, this is Mirta.

Nina: Hi.

Mirta: I'm his girlfriend.

Nina: Oh.

Gashon: No, she's kidding.

Mirta: Yeah, I'm actually a lesbian. Who broke his hand by the way.

Gashon: It's all better now, though.

Mirta: Yep it's back to doing what Gashon does with his hand.

*Gashon clenches his teeth tighter, making an angry smile at her.*

Gashon: You can leave now Mirta!

*Mirta walks away and Gashon smiles at Nina.*

Gashon: Hey, so my parents are having a dinner party.. uhm, if you could come it would be really … uh... cool.

Nina: Okay!

Gashon: Oh, great. That was easy...

*Gashon gives her a slip of paper.*

Gashon: That's the address. They have this honeymoon place they stay at every year. I'll see you then...

Nina: Cool.

*Gashon walks off in slow motion feeling cool as Fight Test by The Flaming Lips plays.*

### Scene 3

*Later that night Gashon and Kahar appear at the doorstep of a house. Gashon rings the doorbell 3 times.*

Gashon: Why do I always get stuck with you?

Kahar: Because we're inseparable. Are we having tacos?

Gashon: No, my family isn't hispanic.

Kahar: How were you made? Are you adopted?

Gashon: That's what I always thought. And hoped... but they always told me I was their son.

Kahar: Ok.

*Gashdad opens the door and smiles.*

Gashdad: Oh Gashson, your friends beat you to it! They're already here!

Gashon: Nina's here already?

Gashmom: Yes, and so are your other friends!

Gashon: ***Other*** friends?

*Gashon peaks his head through the doorway to see Mirta, Ashkrik (Cameron Diaz), Nina, Kane and Casey at the table.*

Gashon: WHAT THE HELL? WHO INVITED THEM?

Gashmom: It wouldn't be a party without your friends from the old days would it?

*Gashon, clearly angry, sits down in the middle next to Nina. Kahar sits down next to Gashon's right. Across from Gashon is Casey in the middle, Gashdad on Casey's left, Gashmom on the end of the table next to Gashdad and Kane on Casey's right. Gashon looks at the empty seat at the end of the table adjacent to Nina and Kane's places.*

Gashon: Who's that seat for?

Gashmom: A very special guest my little Gashy!

Casey: AHAHAHA LITTLE GASHY, AHAHHAAAAA!

Gashon: Shut up, Casey!

Casey: Make me butthead!

Gashon: Your comebacks suck!

Casey: And I bet your cumbacks suck too!

Gashon: UGH!

Gashdad: Boys will be boys.

*The doorbell is heard and Gashmom gets up from her seat.*

Gashmom: It must be him!

*Gashmom goes over to the door and laughs in happiness and surprise.*

Gashmom: Your friend recently got a week of temporary parole from prison just to see you Gashon!

*Gashon drops his fork and starts to mutter under his breath.*

Gashon: No... no no no no no.

Axrik (James Franco): HI GASHON! LONG TIME NO SEE HUH?

Gashon: NO!!!

*Axrik walks over and sits down in the empty seat.*

Axrik: Welcome home, Gashon.

Casey: HAHAHA IS THIS ONE OF YOUR EX LOVERS GASHON?

Gashon: NO!

Axrik: I'm one of Gashon's partners. Business partners I mean.

Gashdad: Well it's good to have the table full. We've prepared tacos for everyone.

Kahar: I knew it...

Gashdad: Say Kahar, what business are you in?

Kahar: Well I'm currently unemployed and living in with Gashon.

Gashon: WHAT?

Kahar: I moved all my stuff in your house. I lost my house by the way.

Gashdad: Moving in already? Wow this comes as a surprise!

Gashmom: Things are sure moving fast!

Gashon: What?

Mirta: I'll say. Whenever I pass Gashkon's house, I hear moaning.

Nina: What?

Gashon: YES, WHAT?

Gashdad: It's okay Gashon, we're all adults here.

Casey: HUEHUEHUE!

Gashon: Most of us...

Gashmom: Yes, we accept you even if you're gay and in a relationship with men.

Gashon: WHAT THE F\*\*\*?!?!

Gashmom: GASHON, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!

Gashdad: It's okay to come open with this Gashon, we figured this for a long time, it didn't seem much of a secret.

Gashon: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Gashdad: It's perfectly normal. Heck, even I had awkward phases growing up; did I ever tell you about the time I was in the men's shower room and never fully understood what happened in there?

Gashon: I'M NOT GAY!

Gashmom: You're not?

Gashon: NO, I never HAVE been, I NEVER WILL BE!

Gashdad: Well I guess you could have told us that before we sent male strippers to your house for your birthdays, Gashon.

Gashon: THAT WAS YOU? I THOUGHT THAT WAS KAHAR!

Kahar: So did I. o\_o

Gashmom: We're sorry for making you uncomfortable dear...

Mirta: If it helps clear any suspicion, I'm a lesbian.

Gashon: UNCOMFORTABLE? YOU THINK YOU'RE SORRY? LOOK WHAT YOU DID!

*Gashon stands up waving his hands furiously around at all the guests.*

Gashon: YOU INVITED EVERYONE WHO RUINED MY LIFE TO THIS DINNER!

Casey: I made you a man Gashcan.

Gashon: NO YOU DIDN'T! YOU HUMILIATED ME IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, WHY DO YOU THINK I LEFT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Gashdad: GASHON! SIT DOWN!

Gashon: Si, papa...

*Gashon sits down and everyone is quiet.*

Kahar: How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

*Everyone stares at Kahar, not amused.*

Kahar: Juan!

Casey: HAHAHAHHAAAA

Axrik: Actually his name is Gashon.

Casey: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHOOOOHHOHOHOHOHOHO!

*Gashon throws his plate on the floor, shattering it. He then gets up and leaves the house.*

Kane: Well, this was interesting...

### Scene 4

*Gashon sits during the night on a bench outside the house rethinking his life again. Nina walks over and sits next to him.*Nina: I didn't think you were gay...

Gashon: Yeah, well everyone else here seems to think so. No one knows who I am, not my neighbor, not my friends, not even my parents!

Nina: What about me?

Gashon: I don't know; What about you?

Nina: Gashon, we may have just met, but, I think you're a strong man in a difficult time. Forget about what everyone thinks and care about what you think.

Gashon: Nina?

Nina: Yeah?

Gashon: Are you a lesbian?

Nina: No?

Gashon: Good.

*Gashon moves in to kiss Nina but suddenly a hand on his shoulder stops him. He turns his head to see Axrik, with five other men wielding baseball bats and crowbars, one of them is Tiger (Crispen Glover).*

Axrik: Awww how sweet.

Gashon: Axrik...

Akrik: We have unfinished business Gashon...

Tiger: Xeno was killed because of you and your little friend. Now you'll pay...

Gashon: I don't think so!

*Gashon takes a swing at Akrik who grabs Gashon's arm and twists it. Gashon screams out in pain. Gashmom runs out of the house in panic.*

Gashmom: DON'T HURT MY GASHBABY!

*Tiger pushes Gashmom to the ground and smiles wickedly.*

Tiger: Do you want to know what I did to the last old lady I ran into?

*Suddenly Gashdad fires a shotgun at Tiger, killing him.*

Gashdad: You leave my family alone!

Axrik: You'll regret that old man...

*Then a car crashes through the garage door of the house and hits Axrik and the other men. Kahar is revealed to be inside.*

Gashon: Carma...

Akrik gets up and pulls out a pistol, threatening to shoot. He limps away into the darkness.

Gashon: I could've handled it myself!

Gashdad: No Gashon, you couldn't. Believe me.

Gashmom: We're sorry for thinking you were gay.

Gashdad: And sorry for never truly understanding you son. We just love you.

Gashon: Thanks... I guess...

*Gashdad and Gashmom move toward Gashon and hug him.*

Gashon: Uhm guys... I get it...

*Kahar also joins the group hug.*

Gashon: I get it guys, hug time is ovER OKAY WHAT IS THAT COLD HARD THING TOUCHING ME?

*Everyone stops hugging Gashon who backs away.*

Kahar pulls up his zipper.

Kahar: Now what do we do?

Gashon: We get out of here...

*Gashon, Kahar, and the Gashparents pack up their things to go.*

Nina: Gashon... you can't go...

Gashon: I have to Nina. I'm sorry.

*Nina puts her head down and tears go down her eyes.*

Gashon: Come with us.

Nina: Really?

Gashon: Yes. Come with us and let us escape from here.

Nina: I'll grab my things from my house!

Gashon: I'll meet you in the middle of town.

*Nina kisses Gashon on the cheek and runs off to her house.*

Gashon: Kane, get the taxi started! We're leaving tonight!

### Scene 5

*Gashon waits outside in the middle of town next to the taxi. Inside the taxi is Kane, in the driver's seat, and in the back is Gashon's parents and Kahar. They struggle to fit in the back. Gashon checks his watch, impatiently waiting for Nina.*

Gashon: She should be here by now...

*Gashon glances around in the dark night. Stores are closed and no one is lurking around.*

Gashon: Strange... something's not right...

Casey: Going somewhere Gashcan?

*Gashon turns around slowly to see Casey, who is holding Nina hostage with a gun pointed to her. Various men surround the area, trapping Gashon in a circle.*

Gashon: Let her go Casey...

Casey: You know fruitcake, I always did seem to think you were a little feminine or weird or something, but I didn't think you'd turn out a pathetic loser like I had always told you you would.

Gashon: I said LET HER GO!

Casey: Look at the Gasman. Thinking he's so cool now that he's got a girlfriend. You know she doesn't look so bad...

*Casey begins to stroke Nina's hair. Gashon's right eye twitches.*

Gashon: I told you twice. I don't want to say it a third time...

*Casey points the gun at Gashon. But Gashon pulls out two machine guns.*

Gashon: Did you really think I'd return home without smuggling some firearms just in case?

Kahar: WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE?

Gashon: I've had enough of you Casey. It's time I blow you away.

*Gashon pulls the triggers but nothing happens. Gashon then pulls the triggers again, but still nothing fires.*

Casey: I guess that's what you get from buying in America.

Kahar: I thought the joke was the other way around? o\_o

*Kane steps on his gas pedal and runs over three of Casey's men.*

Kahar hops out of the taxi and grabs a gun, shooting at Casey. Casey drags Nina into the cantina. Kahar throws Gashon the gun who goes in the cantina after Casey.

Two of Casey's men fire at Kahar who hides behind the taxi. The two men walk over and point the gun at Kahar's face. Mirta and Ashkrik then slam the two men in the head with a fire extinguisher and a crowbar respectively.

Kahar: Thanks...

Mirta: No problem. You're fun to keep around, you annoy Gashon a lot.

*Gashon walks into the cantina. The lights are off and it is dark. Gashon hears a noise and points the gun in the direction it was. Casey then knocks Gashon from the back of the head, leaving him unconscious.*

### Scene 6

*Gashon wakes up in a rusty old clock tower. He notices his parents, Kane, Kahar, Mirta, Ashkrik and Nina tied up. Kahar is crying.*

Casey: I know this isn't how it was meant to turn out Gashtard...

*Gashon furiously tries to break free from the handcuffs that are wrapped around a metal pipe.*

Casey: ...But I've had my fun with you. And you just can't leave.

Gashon: What?

Casey: You can't leave Gashon, without you I can't bully anyone. It's not fair!

Gashon: …

Casey: Gashon, you complete me...

Mirta: This is an unexpected twist...

Casey: If it weren't for you, the most pathetic clown in the town, I would have never been able to be called a bully. And since you've been gone, I've wasted my life away drinking beer on my couch and watching MTV.

Gashon: I just realized how screwed up my life is...

Casey: YES. YOU SEE GASKUN? WITHOUT EACH OTHER WE CAN'T SURVIVE. WE NEED ONE ANOTHER.

Gashon: Actually, YOU need ME. It just took me this long to realize I can change my life around.

*Gashon slips out of the cuffs and punches Casey in the face.*

Gashon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Casey: How did you do that? o\_o

Gashon: I BROKE MY HANDS TO SLIP OUT. I'VE SEEN IT ON A SHOW BEFORE!

*Gashon then rams Casey into the old **crusty** wall. The wall breaks and there is a hole in the wall.*

Casey: No one ever really liked you anyway, Gashcan.

Gashon: I know that. And I'm okay with it.

Casey: Don't do this Gashon...

*Casey then rushes up to grab Gashon but Gashon kicks Casey in the stomach.*

Gashon: Talk to the brick wall, Casey.

Gashon then kicks Casey out the hole of the wall where Casey falls down to his death. Gashon rushes over to untie everyone but then realizes his hands are broken.

### Scene 7

*The group walk out of the clock tower and rest from the experience they just went through. It must have been very traumatic for them.*

Kahar: I can't believe you broke your hands to get out of those cuffs, Gashon.

Gashon: Neither can I...

*A helicopter appears and starts firing on Gashon and Kahar. They flop over behind some tombstones that are in a graveyard.*

Gashon: WHAT THE HECK?

*Axrik appears in the helicopter and pulls out an RPG. He fires it but misses Gashon and Kahar. Gashon and Kahar then get up and run as Axrik fires more rockets at them. They run into an electronics store where they think they are safe.*

Gashon: Do you hear something?

Kahar: It sounds like a phone ringing.

*Gashon notices his ringtone “American Idiot” by Green Day and answers his phone.*

Gashon: Hello?

Invisi (Michael Massi): Hello Gashon Ariel Cansaker.

Gashon: Do I KNOW you?

Invisi: No, but I know you, and just by you using that statement I now know your address, social security number, recent purchases on Amazon.com and what cereal you buy every week.

*Invisi then hacks the electronics store and he appears on all the TV screens. He is seen as a shadow figure in a fedora. The screens suddenly change to a timer reading 2:45 until detonation. Gashon and Kahar frantically try to get out but the doors are electronically sealed. Gashon looks up and notices a vent.*

Gashon: KAHAR GIVE ME A BOOST!

Kahar throws Gashon a 5 Hour Energy bottle.

Gashon: NOT THAT KIND OF BOOST YOU IDIOT!

*Kahar then gets on the floor on all fours and Gashon steps on his back. Gashon pulls out a hammer and starts breaking the vent open.*

Kahar: I KNEW MEXICANS COULD NEVER LEAVE THEIR HAMMERS BEHIND!

*Gashon and Kahar crawl through the vent and escape through the back of the building. The building then explodes. Axrik's helicopter chases after them and fires more rockets at them. Gashon then stumbles into an old church.*

Kahar: GASHON THIS IS A PLACE OF WORSHIP YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE.

*Gashon the grabs a glock from underneath one of the seats.*

Gashon: I've been saving this for a long time.

*Gashon then goes outside and waves at Axrik. Gashon then fires the glock at the helicopter in slow motion. One of the bullets hit the pilot and the helicopter spirals down and explodes. Axrik is seen floating away with a parachute.*

Axrik: THIS ISN'T OVER GASHON! I'LL BE BACK... once my prison sentence is over. I'd rather not break my parole and screw up the system - I have a good chance of only three years or so.

### Scene 8

*Gashon's hands are fully recovered after 2 weeks and he's packed to go.*

Gashon: Are you guys sure you're going to stay here?

Gashmom: Yes sweetie. Our memories are here. And we want to make more.

Gashdad: I'm proud of you son.

*Gashon and Nina get in the taxi. They finally share a kiss and Gashon is proud of himself. Kahar sits up front with Kane.*

Kane: Time to go home!

Gashdad: Wait!

Gashon gets out of the taxi to see his father.

Gashon: What's wrong?

Gashdad: Gashon, there's something I need to tell you.

Gashon: What?

Gashdad: Your mother... she's not your REAL mother...

Gashon: WHAT?

Gashdad: Don't worry I'm your real father.

Gashon: THEN WHO'S MY MOTHER?

Gashdad: I don't know son, I was drunk that night.

Gashon: Oh my god...

Gashdad: I do remember Nina's mother however.

Gashon: Nina's mother? What does she have anything to do with this?

Gashdad: Oh, didn't you know? Nina's your half sister.

Gashon: WHAT? AND YOU FORGOT TO TELL ME THIS THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WITH NINA? I JUST KISSED HER!

Gashdad: Oh... Sorry I thought you knew, son.

Gashon: KNEW I WAS DATING MY HALF SISTER?

Gashdad: Well, I thought you were into that kind of thing, Gashson...

Gashon: FIRST YOU THINK I'M GAY NOW YOU THINK I'M INTO INCEST?

*Gashon then gets back into the taxi, no longer able to look at Nina. His voice then begins to talk to the audience as Gashon facepalms.*

Gashon's voice: Yet again, the life I wanted is the life I friggin' don't get. Is there a chance I'll ever get one? Now I have to choose, am I gonna get incest with my own half sister or am I gonna start this all over again...

*The scene fades away as Gashon struggles to make a choice.*

21 Guns by Green Day begins to play again through the credits.

### Scene 0.2

*Axrik's cell is shown as Bane and Knight walk back and forth outside of it.*

Bane: Mr. Radum we

Knight: will allow your si

Bane: lly stunt in San Troll

Knight: this once, but if some

Bane: thing like this happens again, we will ha

Knight: ve ourselves a real prob

Bane: lem. Are we clear?

The camera focuses on Axrik as he smiles wickedly and answers.

Axrik: Crystal.

Scene cuts to black.