The Postal Hog

Postalhog is a Sonic.exe created by Baronvonghost on May 4th, 2022, and revealed to the public in a Twitter post the same day.

### Relations

Exe Slayer - Comrade
Duke Knuckem - Comrade
Shaleb - Rival/Comrade
Eggquad - Comrade
Sonic.RAW - Rival (Non-Canon)
Muttski The Dog - Companion/Pet
Miles Tailson - Best Friend
Shadow Dude - Father (Deceased)
Uncle Chuckle - "Uncle" (Deceased)

### Affiliation

The Boomer ExecutorsThe Freedom Fighters (Previously)

### Arsenal

COINSTOOPPER
JARATE
SMITH & PISSON 500
BEE LAUNCHER

## OVERVIEW

Postalhog is a Sonic.exe created by Baronvonghost on May 4th, 2022, and revealed to the public in a Twitter post the same day.

The Postalhog is an Exe Slayer, part of the Executors alongside Exe Slayer, Duke Knuckem, and more. He appears calm and easy-going but can be sociopathic and cynical when pushed to the edge. He often states he doesn't like video games, and especially hates EXEs, however, he is seen supporting video games on rare occasions since at one point he sets up a petition to "Make Whiney Eggmen Play Violent Video Games." He wears his trademark leather trench coat and sunglasses at all times

## BIOGRAPHY:

### The Past

very little is known of the Postalhog, only that he's been evicted from his home (there's a moving van parked in front of his home) and has been driven insane as a result. the Dude believes his town to be under some sort of madness outbreak and that it's up to him to stop it, he rants about it in his diary. He has a breakdown, collapses, and is contained in a mental asylum by the end. He crashes out of the asylum with the help of his friend Miles and flees to the town of Green Hill after accepting a job at the local video game developer. He lives in a shabby trailer in a small neighborhood with his pet Muttski the dog and Amy Rose, who continuously gives him orders while forcing the Dude to do various annoying errands.

### Monday

When the Postalhog goes to the SEGA headquarters on Monday, he is informed by Yuji, Naka that he's fired. This and a video game protest mob by the “Karens for Decency” began his second reign of terror. After getting his paycheck, the Exe Dude then proceeds to go to cash the check in the Fee of Federation bank. Just as the Postalhog is cashing his check, a group of bank robbers arrives to commit a stick-up. Postalhog kills them, then breaks into the money bin to get the money from there, an alarm sounds and he has his first clash against the Police. After cashing his check, the Postalhog goes to Lucky Rings to get some milk. Once he returns home, the Dude informs his wife Amy that he's "on some kind of vacation", so she decides to get him to do more things for her for the rest of the week.

### Tuesday

On Tuesday, the Postalhog decides it's time to confess his sins, so he goes to the Church to be forgiven by a priest. Meanwhile, a group of Black Arms terrorists arrives and commit their attack, breaking into the Church, killing Nun Rouge in the process. Slightly saddened by the death of his Bat-Friend, the Postalhog faces a large group of The Black Arms to escape. After that, the Postalhog must get eight signatures for a petition to "make whiny eggmen play violent video games", which makes him deal with lots of rude civilians and proceeds to threaten them if they refuse to sign. The Postalhog then goes to the Library to return a book his wife has been reading. However, once he has returned it, a group of badniks break into the library, burn the building down, and attack everyone within it, including the Postalhog. He must find himself a way out of the library and fight many Badniks. Finally, he goes to the Paradise Mall, where The President has arrived to give away autographed copies of his book. Once there, the Postalhog gets his copy. Suddenly, the Badniks arrive to capture The President, initiating a fight against him and his crew.

### Wednesday

On Wednesday, the Postalhog decides to go to the Cemetery and piss on Shadow T. Dude Sr.'s tombstone. When he does so, the Postalhog is knocked unconscious by a group of Black Arms who take him to the Brewery. When the Postalhog wakes up in the Brewery, he realizes the Black Arms have removed his clothes and made him wear a Dollar Store Pikachu Onesie, so the Postalhog adds one more errand that is going to Money Shot Laundromat to pick up his laundry. After fighting a large group of Black Arms and getting out of the Brewery, people everywhere make fun of him until he gets his clothes back. Wednesday is also Election Day, and Eggman is hosting the elections. Also on Wednesday, the Postalhog goes to the Forest to get a Xmas Tree. Given that it's July, the trees are much cheaper. After looking at several trees, the Postalhog finally chooses the right one but summons Black Arms to attack him once more. He kills all of them brutally this time.

### Thursday

On Thursday, the Postalhog notes that the weeds in his garden are getting too tall, so he needs something extra strong and decides to buy a Stinger Launcher at the Bee Factory. Once he manages to get the launcher, a factory worker vomits on a power box presumably operating the machinery at the factory, causing a major disruption in the production process, resulting in a major explosion that destroys part of the factory. The Postalhog finds a way to get out of the factory via alternative ways. Also on Thursday, Sanic has arrived at Paradise Mall, so the Postalhog must get a Sanic Doll. When he arrives at Toyz 'n the Hill, Sanic tells him that all of the available Sanic dolls are sold out, but the Postalhog breaks into the store's backroom anyway and manages to get a doll from the storage. This calls the Police into the store in an attempt to arrest him. After defeating the police and getting out of the backroom, the Postalhog confronts Sanic himself in a fistfight, knocking the mascot down and then shooting him. During that same day, the Postalhog wants to get some steaks for the Freedom Fighters Network Barbeque he's planning to attend, so he goes to Meat World. However, no one is attending in the butchery, so he goes to the back room, where he discovers some Butchers triturating people alive in a grinder. The butchers attack the Postalhog for discovering them and entering into the back room. Once the Postalhog gets the steaks, the police enter the place and try to arrest the Postalhog again for breaking into Meat World and stealing steaks. Finally, the Postalhog goes to the Police Station to pay a Traffic Citation but then proceeds to murder the entire station instead. Eventually, the Postalhog returns to his Trailer and fires the Bee Launcher at the carpet, with Amy getting stung 16 times.

### Friday

On Friday, the Postalhog goes to the Junkyard to get an alternator to fix his broken car. Once he gets the alternator, a tower crushes over a fence containing some dogs, blocking the exit and letting the dogs out which attack him until he exits the junkyard. On the same day, he gets a note that says there is a package for him, so he goes to the Parcel Center. However, when a carrier gets it for the Postalhog, it explodes, making the carriers attack the Postalhog in retaliation. Friday is also Knuckles' birthday, and the Postalhog wants to give him a Birthday Gift, so he proceeds to go to the Compound, where Knuckles' "party" is taking place. The "party" is revealed to be the siege of the compound by the Eggman Empire. The Postalhog manages to enter the compound and give Knuckles his gift, and at that very same moment, the Badniks finally manage to break into the compound, starting a massive gun battle against the Dude and Knuckles’ religious tribe. Since the beginning of Friday, the Postalhog wants to desperately piss, and when he does so, it hurts, so he decides to go to the Clinic. Once there, the nurses tell him he has gonorrhea, and tell him to go and see Piss-appear, a machine that after receiving a piss sample from the Postalhog, gives him some Gonorrhea Medicine to cure him.

### Apocalypse Weekend

After completing all the errands of Friday, the Eggman Times releases a special edition that announces the beginning of Apocalypse as POSTAL BOMBS are dropped on Green Hill, making everyone go Postal... During the Apocalypse, all people in Green Hill are armed, fighting each other, and immediately attack the Postalhog. He kills almost the entire town. After the Postalhog manages to go back to his trailer, Amy asks him if he remembered her Rocky Road, an item she requested him to get for her since Monday, but that was never included as an errand. The Postalhog then proceeds to shoot Amy in the head so he can stop hearing her nagging, he misses and Amy proceeds to bash him in the head with her hammer.

On Saturday, the Postalhog wakes up in the hospital, where he receives a note from Amy telling him she has decided to leave him. He also receives notes saying that his trailer has been taken away and that Muttski is in the Dog Pound to be "put asleep" on Sunday. Without any money, the Postalhog proceeds to sell a sample of his quills, but as he does that, an experiment with cats goes out of control, with the scientists creating dervish cats. The dervish cats kill the scientists and escape from their laboratory. The head bash also gave the Postalhog hallucinations, in which he sees distorted versions of the locations he is in, and Eggman-Esque creatures attacking him, some of them having diseased Hedgehog heads instead of their own. These hallucinations appear for the rest of the weekend from time to time.

The Postalhog eventually leaves the hospital and feels hungry, so he proceeds to go to the Greasy Hog restaurant in Lower Green Hill. Once there, a group of zombots appears and begin to attack everyone including the Postalhog, who has to destroy twenty of them. After doing so, a police officer arrives and tells him he likes his style, before hiring him to kill twenty-one cows infected with metal virus disease. Halfway through his mission, however, he is attacked by a group of badniks. After killing the cows and defeating the badniks, the policeman reappears and assigns the Postalhog a Super-fun Pigeon Hunter Mission, but Postalhog shoots him in the stomach 7 times. The Postalhog then appears in Lower Green Hill again, where he is contacted by Yuji Naka, who rehires him. Yuji asks the Postalhog to enter the headquarters of Marioware, a rival company of SEGA, and retrieve a Gold Master CD of Super Mario Bros... The Postalhog enters the publisher's office complex and battles the Marioware security staff until he arrives at CEO Mario's office. Mario refuses to give him the gold master, so the Postalhog fights him... After defeating Mario, the Postalhog is invited by Yuji to go to his house for a party with the Exe Babes, however, his hatred towards Exes prevails and he leaves without a word.

On Sunday, the Postalhog wakes up after hearing some gunshots and discovers a horde of zombots attacking Yuji's house. The Postalhog must destroy them, in which he accesses an armory full of weaponry downstairs, and after leaving Yuji's house, he is addressed by Vector, a Chaotix running a crocodile-themed business. Vector tells the Postalhog that if he helps him to kill twenty-one crocodiles at the Crocodile Preserve and get their teeth to make Crocodile Teeth wastebaskets for children. Tired of killing a set number of animals each time he meets someone and accusing Vector of purging his kind, he shoots Vector up and blows up the place. However, after killing Vector, the Postalhog receives a new phone call from Yuji, who needs some help with the marketing and asks him to do something that can make the media say the "competition's toasted". The Postalhog decides to enter a Terrorist Training Camp to get something to create a nice explosion, and after fighting a whole army of terrorists, he discovers that the terrorists have no massive weapons at all. At that very same time, the Badniks arrive, attack the camp, and kill everyone in there, they also capture the Postalhog. He is taken to the Military Base, where he is forced to battle a large group of soldiers until he finds a thermo-nuclear warhead and escapes the place.

The Postalhog returns to Lower Green Hill, where a terrorist is leading a meeting attended by other terrorists,badniks, zombots, and even The President himself. The terrorist claims they are being oppressed, so they start a fight against civilians, theBlack Arms, and the Postalhog. The Postalhog enters Marioware's publisher office complex, only to discover zombots are invading it. The Exe Dude places the warhead in Mario's office. The wall behind Mario's desk has been destroyed and reveals the Dog Pound. The Postalhog goes to the pound to rescue Muttski but discovers that the place has been taken over by black Arms, who are using trained cats and dogs in Pikachu suits to kill people. The Postalhog confronts a large group of black arms, dogs, and dervish cats, only to discover Muttski is missing. A final group of dogs has cornered the Postalhog, but suddenly Muttski breaks into the room from a glass ceiling and single-handedly kills all the dogs.

The Postalhog and Muttski then proceed to leave Green Hill before the warhead explodes, but they must cross a Bridge and find their trailer first. The bridge is also invaded by zombots, and the Badniks also arrive to confront the Postalhog, with some jets even bombing the bridge. After crossing the bridge, the Postalhog sees his trailer in the distance, but Metal Dude appears and has a final boss battle with the Postalhog. After defeating Metal Dude, the Postalhog and Muttski get into his car and are seen driving away from Green Hill just as the warhead explodes, detonating the entire Zone in the process. The Postalhog is last heard saying "I regret nothing" as he drives away from Green Hill together with Muttski in his trailer.

However, during the Postalhog's escape,  Muttski sees a stray cat and gives chase. Thus, the Postalhog turns his car around, heading back toward Green Hill despite the Nuclear Fallout. Unfortunately, his head wound starts acting up causing him to crash his car and fall into a radiation-induced coma where he dreams of a "future gone wrong".

### Angel İsland

Following the destruction of Green Hill,  the Postalhog finds himself in Paradise's sister zone, Angel İsland.

Being unemployed and broke, he gets a job at the local game shop, working as a cleaner. After getting attacked by angry Karens, the Postalhog tries a different job collecting cats for a crazy homeless guy. While collecting the cats, he gets attacked by angry Metallix trying to use the cats for fuel. As soon as that didn't work out for him, he got a job protecting playboy star Dr. Starline and for a second time gets attacked by Karens. He fails at the job and does not earn money for it. The Postalhog then goes to get a cash loan at which point the office gets taken over by Badniks. The Postalhog joins the Freedom Fighters force and defeats the Badniks. As a returning member of The Freedom Fighters, Miles sends him on various missions where has to protect Eggman from civilians, take down crazy Karens in an arcade, prevent The Deadly  Six from sneaking over the UF border (and kill them, torturing Zavok while doing so.), stop crazed lab animals at a cosmetic lab, ending with Miles sending him to kill Dr. Starline, however when he arrives there he is forced to fight Black Doom, Dr. Starline, and Knuckles at the same time, killing them all. After doing so, his fight is abruptly stopped as Eggman invades Angel İsland with his Badnik & Metallix Army. Postalhog calls in The Freedom Fighters and a huge all-out battle occurs on the island. Eventually, Postalhog finds Eggman next to Master Emerald and fights him. After killing Eggman, the Postalhog becomes a national hero, and eventually, the President of the United Federation, with Amy as his First Lady, and Miles as his Vice President. During his inauguration conference, he sees a doomsday button and grins evilly, slamming the button and activating Eggman’s Death Egg, ready to bomb Angel İsland. However, the moment he pressed the button he realize he would die too, as he tries to find a way to make sense of the situation, a warp portal opens next to him, with a strange figure walking in and staring at him. The figure points at him and tells him to get into the portal, to which Postalhog immediately agrees, he runs into the portal with Muttski & Miles, leaving Amy to die alongside the İsland. After the portal closes the island is bombed by The Death Egg…..

## ABILITIES

Postalhog is just Sonic but extra, so he possesses most of the abilities normal Sonic possesses.

#### SUPER SPEED

He can instantly accelerate to the speed of sound and run at speeds far greater than Mach 1, which is at the blistering speed of about 768 mph and can run backward just as well as he can forwards. Due to such speed, he can scale vertical surfaces and ceilings, run over water, outspeed lasers, and even cause the ground to explode in his wake. Even then, Postalhog can take his speed even further. By revving up in one place, he can take off at turbo speeds in an instant. He can also envelope himself in a blue energy field that lets him accelerate beyond the sound barrier on both the ground and in midair for a short time, allowing him to not only smash straight through enemies and obstacles like a living projectile but also fly immense distances through midair.

His speed also allows him to perform several impressive feats; he can heal at rapid speeds, launch shockwaves by spinning rapidly, leap in midair, launching stunning waves with fast kicks, increase the force of his blows by striking with increased momentum, and create barriers of super speed. He can also spin in circles or rotate his extremities at super-speed to create winds strong enough to attack or blow away opponents, similar to aerokinesis.

#### FİGHTİNG SKİLLS

Postalhog's core offensive maneuver is the Spin Attack, a technique where he curls into a concussive ball or cutting disk and directs himself at his targets. With it, The Postalhog can shred or burrow through just about any substance given enough speed and hit with enough force to pierce colossal boulders. Highly adept in its usage, Sonic can utilize several variants of the Spin Attack for both grounded and aerial maneuvers, including the Spin Dash, Spin Jump, and Homing Attack.

Even without his Spin Attack, Postalhog is a skilled hand-to-hand combatant. He mostly relies on his fast footwork since the majority of his power lies in his legs, though he has been known to use his fists and arms from time to time, albeit in a rather straightforward manner. His fighting style is mostly derived from breakdancing moves which utilize Postalhog's legs to their fullest, allowing him to deliver swift, wide-ranged kicks. He has also been known to use flying forward kicks, split kicks, and scissor kicks.

İt appears that Postalhog can control the strength and durability of his otherwise soft quills at will. While he is in Spinball form, they appear to be extremely hard like buzzsaw blades; his quills (and body) are durable enough to slice through battleships without even moving at the speed of sound. In addition, Postalhog's quills can sense nearby dangers, which they warn him about by creating a tingling sensation. Postalhog also possesses Bio-electrokinesis, allowing him to charge his quills with electricity.

#### GUN PROFİCİENCY

Postalhog possesses great proficiency, capabilities, and knowledge in guns, allowing him to perform great feats and benefit in far ranged combat. He has an excellent bulls-eye aim, Postalhog can also operate all variations of guns. He has excellent intuition on trigger-initiated, hand-held, and hand-directed implements, especially with an extending bore, which thereby resembles the class of weapon in either form or concept

#### DARK DETERMINATION

Dark determination is a particular state of mind during which one's resolve and intent to kill rises to the surface. As the name suggests, this phenomenon occurs when a character with malicious intentions briefly supersedes their moral compass, during which they are prone to using deadly force to achieve their own personal goals. Anyone with dark intent in their eyes becomes noticeably more ruthless, cold-blooded, and will not hesitate to commit great acts of violence, if not outright murder. Dark determination is most often associated with a protagonist's moral ambiguity and will manifest itself as small flames burning in their irises.

The trigger for dark determination will depend on the individual and the situation at hand but is usually related to the act of protecting, avenging, or acquiring something important.

## WEAKNESSES

Noted to not be the strongest swimmer, Postalhog is incapable of swimming properly and sinks like a stone in water. This may be due to aquaphobia, though he does not demonstrate that fear very often. In some situations, he can bypass his weakness in water by running or sliding across its surface, leaping out of the water with successive jumps, and surviving extended periods underwater with Air Bubbles.

It has been stated that if Postalhog does not sleep for eight hours during the night, it will spoil his running. In addition, he has trouble keeping his balance when coming to a sudden halt when running at high speed, or if he's intoxicated

Due to the injury, he got from Amy bashing his head with her hammer, Postalhog regularly has hallucinations and scream-inducing headaches that cause him nausea.

## TRİVİA

* Postalhog’s favorite type of cheese is gruyère.
* Miles and Muttski are Postalhog’s true companions.
* Postalhog is a member of The Boomer Executors and a is Exe Slayer/Hunter.
* Postalhog and Exe Slayer are close friends. Shaleb & Postalhog are rivals.
* Postalhog loves barbeques and hotdog parties.
* İronically, Postalhog is a fan of the POSTAL series.
* Exe Slayer, Duke Knuckem, Shaleb, Miles P. Freeman & Eggquad are Postalhog’s Buddies

## GALLERY

Postalhog Pestering .Raw (non-Canon unless said otherwise)Postalhog's Prototype DesignPostal Hog & Exe Slayer Kissing (Non-Canon)