Copypastry

**Literally just copypastas. Including, but not limited to:**

**Horse pussy obsession:**

who want some **HUSSY**

Horse pussy is honestly a gift from god. Yesterday I was tending to my mares and just noticed that Beffica (my strongest white purebred) had the wettest equine pussy I had ever laid my peepers on. I immediately dove in headfirst and started eating her out. She whinnied in pleasure as I devoured her horsey snatch. Soon I could feel her about to horse cum so I reverse-vored myself inside her and tickled her ovaries until she unleashed a torrent of horse squirt on my eager face. I was far from done though, and so I decided to whip out my genetically engineered horse cock and give her a round two. Beffica looked at me with a horse lust in her eyes and I pounded the absolute shit out of her. Before long, all four of her horse legs were on their horse knees and his cock was 26 inches deep inside her. I felt a tightening in my whole body before surreptitiously unloading an absolutely monstrous explosion of ejaculate that emptied my sack and completely filled Beffica to burst. My seed started to leak out around my balls and Beffica collapsed in a cummy heap. My phallus retracted back into my lower intestine and I collapsed in exhaustion. All of a sudden, I was flipped on my stomach and my pants were ripped from me. It was Beffica! I craned my head to the left and noticed something I hadn’t seen before. A monstrous horse donger was cradled in between her legs. I shuddered, never having gotten to 7th base (pegging) before. I had barely a second to prepare myself before what felt like at least 30 inches of rock hard femcock entered my tight virgin asshole, ripping me nearly in two. It honestly felt like I was being ripped in half, and of course after 3 or so hours she came.

And when I say she came, I mean she came! I had filled her dripping wet Hussy with cum, no doubt almost a litre. She, on the other hand, unleashed what had to be at least a milk jug’s worth of cum into my raw and bleeding asshole. I honestly didn’t expect it to be as hot as it was, which definitely made up for being raped by a horse. I crawled to my knees, horse batter dripping from my pooter and shivered slightly. I still needed to tend to the other horses and it was already 7pm. Sigh. I pulled my ripped cowboy jeans back on and placed my leather cap on my head, and made my way to the door, I gave a wink to sweet Beffica, and she simply neighed and shot another glob of cum in my direction. I caught it, and used it to smoothen my hair. Did you know that horse cum is great for the skin, scalp, dandruff and as a hair gel? I learned that yesterday too.

**The Gay Salad Theory (made by yours truly):**

If you say you don't like a salad and you've never tasted it, you can't really say you don't like it. If you've tasted it and say you dislike it, it's fair game. It's the same with sucking dicks or being topped by another man. If you take a salad with tomatoes, cucumbers, onions and feta cheese and you try it and dislike it, you don't like it. Now if you try a salad with tomatoes, cucumbers, red onions and feta cheese and try it, you can still dislike it, but the recipe is different and thus so is the dish. No two men are the same, thus their dicks are different and "taste" differently, so sucking another man is just you trying another meal to conclusively say if you like it or not. As long as you don't suck the same man and don't outright say you like sucking them, it's just you seeing if you're into sucking that dick. If you look at the salad analogy, it's perfectly straight to do so. There's like 3.6 billion men on this planet, let's say 5% are gay. That means we have 180 000 000 possible dicks to suck. Let's say you live 80 years and start sucking dick from the age of 15, that means you're sucking dick for 65 years. 65 years have 23 725 days of living (not much tbh), which means you can suck a dick 7 586.933 times a day, round it up to 7 587 times a day. You can suck that many dicks every day or do whatever with them and still be straight since you're tasting a different salad. Now if you're like me, you'd want to be topped by another man, so let's do the math for that, roughly 40% of gay men are tops, 40% are bottoms and probably like 20% are switches. That means there are 108 000 000 men that can top you (60% of 180 000 000 as switches can both be tops and bottoms, so we take them into the equation) so you can be topped 4 552 times a day without it being gay because you're just trying out another salad. You can't make a concrete argument against this that isn't just "sucking dick gay" because of the salad analogy which is objectively correct.

**Rosberg x Hamilton:**

Nico calmly walked up the stairs in the factory at Brackley and knocked on Lewis door. Lewis calmly said, come in, giving no hints to the fun they would all have. Nico opened the door, and Lewis immediately shouted “TOUCH ME LIKE IT’S THE 2014 BELGIAN GP”, and whipped out his giant gigacock. Rosberg, calm as ever, slowly stood back and said 'what the hell?' 'OPEN WIDE', Lewis screamed. Nico's face lit up. It was happening again. he collapsed to the floor, as Lewis pounded him harder than ever. Lewis then went full 69, ripping open Nico's pants and sucking his admittedly relatively small penis, but he didnt care. Nico got the gigacock going right down his throat, so everything was well in the world. Then... footsteps. It was Peter Bonnington coming for a meeting with Lewis. They both knew what this meant, they quickly threw on their clothes and Nico tried to hold back the tears after their fun was cruely ruined. They both would have to wait til a later date to keep their fantasy alive. 'Until later' Nico said in his usual calm voice as he left, as he slowly walked to his office and broke down over what he had missed. until later indeed...

**Shanghai Surprise:**

I had this dream where I hooked up with some girl. She had a...slightly manly voice. As I was talking to her, we were drinking Moet. She randomly removed my pants and started giving me the best handjob ever. As I ejaculated and we both rested on a bed, I wondered. I wondered how did she learn to give handjobs like that. I mean, she isn't particularly old. The next thing to come to my mind was if she...had a penis. And trained on it. My heartbeat rose to 190 per minute. "Holy shit, I got a blowjob from a Shanghai surprise?!" I was stressing the whole night. In the morning, I wake up. I look at where she is sleeping. She isn't there. I look forwards. There she is. WITH HER PENIS OUT. SHE WAS JERKING OFF ON A COUCH. AS I WAS SLEEPING. Then I woke up.

**Ahan And His Dad Share A Memory:**

Yesterday my dad and I were on reddit and there was this meme where Mr. Incredible becoming uncanny and it was like how to use a ruler and the first one was ruler then it said geometry box and then it said penis and then it said my english teachers bobs and i started laughing and now my dad feels im sus

**Schmösome Sloppy Toppy:**

Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

**What Everyone Feels:**

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Nikita Mazepin so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I watch him in F1 I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of them online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Nikita Mazepin. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside that tight Russian ass. I want him to have my cock.

**DU BIST WELTMEISTER**

Ok Nikita, good job. I need to wait until everybody crosses the line, I need to wait...but it's looking good. You just wait sunshine, you just wait. Hamilton P2, Bottas P3 There's another two cars coming around in 15 and 16. You wait, we just need the two cars mate. Just those two cars. I think you'll like it. Verstappen P4, Norris... Norris P5, DU BIST WELTMEISTER Ahh, Thank you boys! Unbelievable, UNBELIEVABLE! Thank you I love you, I need a moment. Nikita Mazepin you are the world champion! The world champion! Well done, enjoy it! You are the man! WOOOO YEEEESSSSS RING DING DING DING DING DING I LOVE YOU! Thank you boys, I don't know... I don't know what to say. You are amazing, YOU ARE AMAZING! Well mate, if you don't know what to say, there's only one thing to say. RING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING This is the first time I'll be crying, thank you. Let's not forget, you're the youngest world champion in F1 history, you're allowed to cry mate, you're allowed. You kept believing in me, I kept believe in you.

**30 years ago...**

Gentlemen, a short view back to the past. four years ago, Niki Mauza told us 'take a Gasly, place him into the cockpit and he is able to fuck Mazepin's ass' Thirty years later, Sebastian told us 'I had to pass Fraudmacher to get Nikita's ass, it's very complicated' And Charles Leclerc said that during the race - I don't remember what race - he fucked Nikita's ass. Question for you both: is Mazepin's ass to complicated to get, are you too much under effort, under pressure? What are your wishes for the future concerning the chasing of mazepin's ass during the race? Less Fraudmacher, more? Or less and more second driver?

**High IQ:**

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Mazepin's driving. The aggressiveness is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical F1 physics most of the moves will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Steiner's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Magnussen smashing his door, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of his driving, to realize that he's not just fast- he say something deep about RACING. As a consequence people who dislike Mazepin truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the reality in Steiner's amazing catchphrase "He does not foksmash my door !" which itself is a cryptic reference to previous epic drivers and teams I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated Schumacher simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Mazepin & Haas genius spins itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. joy And yes by the way, I DO have a Nikita Mazepin tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

So, so much more. Look at it yourself, it is peak homosex.