Hiding From Your Yandere Girlfriend

Yandere Girlfriend plays a game of hide-and-seek with her boyfriend.

## Transcript

Oh, you're awake. Look, all that stuff I said about taking acting lessons was so over-dramatic and like silly. I just never did that. I swear. So if you were worried about me lying to you, just don't even! Okay? I'd eaten some dark chocolate before we met up. Sure, before I entered your home. I mean, yeah I didn't have permission but I did have my undying love for you, okay?

And it's really good for you, the dark chocolate that is, but I'm sure my love for you is as well. I saw this thing online that said dark chocolate is like, really good for your circulation or something. I guess it has sugar in it? So by the time I got to your house I was just a bit hopped up on sugar and my great circulation, you know?

I mean, I can just tell that my blood was just going, you know what I mean? So I was a bit excited when I saw you so I totally made up this thing about taking acting classes instead of doing my community service, which, oh my God, would not have been anywhere near as good for my circulation! Hey. Stay still.

I'm trying to tell you something really heartfelt right now about how excited I was to see you, and my health. Do you not care? Good. So all of this to say I know I scared you before, but it was entirely down to me eating dark chocolate before I broke into your house, and not because of any other reason. All right?

So you understand? Well I'm so glad we're all on the same page! How did you find sleeping upside down last night? I don't know, I just thought it would be funny to swing you around like a sandbag or something, but I'm sure it was really good for your circulation actually.

You slept like a baby, definitely for that reason only and not because you ingested anything. I mean, who can truly say what you might have ingested from the home-cooked dinner I made you last night? Anyway you ate it so you must have liked my cooking. Right? Oh, I'm so glad! I was thinking tonight to make up for the, uh miscommunication, we could cuddle in bed, maybe watch some movies?

We have popcorn in the kitchen. Hmm? Oh yeah, you were asleep the entire day. You must have really liked what I made for dinner. Anyway, what do you think? Oh great. We're you going to have such a wonderful time. What shall we watch? Hmm... Black Swan? You read my mind! I'm so glad we agree!

Let's get you tucked in, and then I will go and grab us some snacks since you lost your arm privileges for the day... maybe even for the week. Okay, time to go upstairs. Say "bye-bye" basement. Why aren't you walking? I thought you liked popcorn. Good job baby. Wasn't so hard, was it? Up, up. {humming and singing}

There we are. Are you comfortable? Great. You just relax, I'll go get our snacks. Do you want anything to drink? How about hot chocolate? Okay, great! Give me a minute. You are very welcome, my love. Mm-hmm.

Oh, fuck. Oh for God's sake, baby! Baby, I wasn't in the mood for playing hide-and-seek today. If you come out now I won't be upset. I'll even let you sleep in a bed tonight. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. So it's going to be this way is it? Fucking fine.

There's no use trying to get out. I've locked all the doors. Be a good baby and come and watch Black Swan. I'm tired. I don't have the energy to discipline you tonight. Don't make tomorrow hard on yourself now. You know, the only reason I have any kind of patience for this nonsense is because you're the most special baby in the whole wide world.

We're soul mates, and sometimes that means having to enjoy the parts of each other we find challenging, but nothing will ever sway my love for you, darling. Never ever. You can't get rid of me, and you can't get out of the house. Call it a night and give up now.

I'll make a compromise. I won't scream all night and do anything to your bare flesh with a brick, and an exchange you can get back in bed and enjoy the Cinematic Masterpiece that Natalie Portman worked so hard on! Okay? Is that a deal?

Oh, wow. You were under there the whole time? Oh, should have been the first place I looked... oh well. The deal is a deal, get in bed. Just for that I'm going to drink your hot chocolate. Mmm... Shut up. I love the cake in this scene, I think it's so cute. Yeah, that's Natalie Portman. She's a great actress, don't interrupt her.

Oh my God. Do you want me to put some popcorn in your mouth? Okay. Okay. Oh yeah, she was crazy for that one. Oh wow. Oh my God. You can fall asleep if you want, but I will be quizzing you on the film in the morning. Good night, baby. Oh, wow.