Miracles from Heaven (GAM031)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Miracles from Heaven*** is a beautiful love story about the interracial same-sex relationship between Jennifer Garner and Queen Latifah; and a little girl had cancer, or something.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because we want to make sure that dying is better than something.

### **How Bad Was It?**

* I *hated* this movie. I fucking ha—this movie, because here's the thing, this movie—the stupid religious part? Meh. Meh to the religious part, but the main message of this movie is that doctors don't know anything, and you need to show up at their office and be like "Excuse me, my child's sick. I need you to cure 'em." And coming from a family *filled* to the brim with brilliant doctors, this is—I could not think of a meaner prank to pull on the medical practitioners in my family than to create this movie. There's no worse effect you could put out into the world, that directly relates to doctors and what they do, than *this"" film. Which is just like, "You say to him 'No sir!' I need a doctor. I need one now!" That's fine, I'm finishing my 75 hour shift—let me go back in and check on your asthmatic daughter again, ’cause you saw* Miracles from Heaven*.*

### **Best Worst**

* Noah: …script with a talented actor.
* Heath: …alternative to watching *Deadpool*.
* Eli: …Mexican family having a full volume conversation in theater.

### **Notes**

* Watched in theater the week of 16 March 2016 instead of *Deadpool*. Noah makes a lot of sacrifices for our entertainment.
* The first interstitial, a trailer for the imagined movie *What Did You Expect from Heaven*, features a bit by Eli ("Three Tongued Jesus Blowjob") that caused Heath to completely break, as featured in the post-credits outakes

### **Jokes**

* [Eli: And the little girl who is scared and dying of cancer says "Do you think Jesus is with me?" And she's like "Oh, I'm sure he's with you." That's why he watched you get sick, and lose your hair, and be in pain, and if he was *anyone* else we would have to use his own cruelty against him to properly punish him for his behavior, but we've given him

special moral exemption, so it's just totally fine! He's just sitting there watching this bald, scared, frightened, dying little girl but "Oh, I'm sure he's with you!"] [Increasingly high pitched]

### **Interstitials**

* *What Did You Expect from Heaven?* (6:20)
* This is a Doctor's Office, Everyone Here is Sick! (48:44)
* Outtakes - Heath Breaks (1:30:35) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Angry Yelling at God
* Behind on the Rent
* Cancer Wife/God Killed My Mom/Evil Stole My Faith
* Coincidence Treated like a Miracle
* Disappointing Christian Celebrity
* Flashback to Shit We Just Watched
* Indoctrination of Children
* Kitchen Table
* Looks Like…
* Minority Best Friend
* Problem of Evil
* Reprehensible Moral Message
* This is YOUR Movie!

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: Tom Brady went on to be found guilty of *way* more cheating than we thought, which pretty much invalidated the *entire* New England Patriots dynasty over the last decade and a half.
* Noah: God continued to murder fourteen children a minute, because he only has so many butterflies.
* Eli: Anna's sister later died when she tried to heal her broken ankle by jumping headfirst down a tree that was three stories tall.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Trailer on YouTube
* IMDb