Destined For Greatness (Part 3)

(warning: contains swearing)

* **Nate:** *text*
* **Francis:** *text*
* **Teddy:** *text*
* **Sharon:** *text*
* **Artur:** *text*
* **Randy:** *text*
* **Gina:** *text*
* **Mrs. Godfrey:** *text*

Previous part

**Theodore “Teddy” Ortiz:** *Hi, Nate, taking a nap? or are you doing the world’s slowest pushup?*

*That’s Theodore Squareroot Ortiz. Ignore his lame groaners that he calls “jokes”,*
like I always do.

*Teddy is my OTHER best friend. Francis is #1 (because I’ve known him longer), but Teddy is #1A, he’s fucking awesome.*

*I wasn’t so sure about that at first. That’s the way it’s is with new kids. You want to check them out from a distance to seem if they’e cool or not. You dont want to be all Joe Friendly to them right away, because what if they want to be total fucking losers? One example is Sharon Brooks, she moved here from Plainview, Massachusetts, and she turned out to be a absolute fucking loser, With Teddy, it was very hard to tell. In his first day in 3rd grade, The principal told me to show him around the school. Teddy was all quiet and deadass serious. I’ve told him plenty of times that he seemed like a total dork.*

**3rd Grade Nate**: (thinking) *Jesus christ, can this dumbass even talk?*

*Then he and I were paired up for a science project and we were supposed to dissect a squid. We were about 2 minutes into it when he picked our squid up and pretended it was a massive booger. It was hilarious, I started laughing and then Teddy started laugung as well (that was a first I heard him laugh), he sounded like some sort of crazed Llama.*

*Oh man, We were laughing so hard that we droppped the squid on the floor, and then Mary Ellen Popowski stepped on it, which made us laugh even harder. and that’s when the teacher got mad and screamed at us at the top of his lungs and gave us 2 whole fucking weeks of detention and threatened to kill us if we didn’t clean up the floor and apologized, (I’m sure that he got fired after he threatened to beat up a 5th grader)*

*You get in trouble that bad with somebody, and it completely changes the way you think about them, When I saw Teddy dangling the squid from his nostril, I figured he was okay for me, and after we got 2 weeks of detention, I knew we figured we’re going to be friends until the day we die.*

Teddy: (starts running) *Race you guys to the flagpole!*

(Francis and Nate starts running)

*But that doesnt mean I’m gonna let him beat me to the flagpole!*

(Nate starts speeding up and has overtaken both Francis and Teddy)

*HA! My superspeed is taking over! I’m gonna win this race by a mile!*

(Nate is so focused on racing to the flagpole he doesn’t notice Princpal Nichols, and ends up running into him)

***HOLY SHIT! PRINCIPAL NICHOLS!***

*This is gonna get really fucking ugly, why? he’s MR. DISPLINE. He doesn’t stand for ANY fucking around, And here I am, body slamming him on his way to the building, Stand back everybody, he’s about to go armagdeddon.*

**Principal Wesley Nichols**: *I’m sorry, Nate! I wasn’t looking where I was going!*

*Like I was saying: Principal Nichols— what a great guy!*

**Principal Nichols**: *Are you alright?*

**Nate:** *Yes, It barely even hurt. It was like running into an airbag*. (nervously) *An cushony one.*

(a few seconds pass)

**Principal Nichols**: *Move along, son.*

*He’s saying it like it’s the last thing he wants to call me.*

*Whew. Sure, I’ll be so happy to move along. I thought he was gonna hit my ass with 2 years of detention.*

(Nate and his friends walk to the building, and Nate encounters Sharon)

**Sharon Brooks**: *Hi, Nate.*

*See, now you know why I hate her so much, she’s just so obnoxious.*

(Nate just ignores her and walks into his locker and opens it, and 30 ft of trash shoot out of it)

*Okay, I’ll admit, I have sort of a organization problem. One of these days, I’m really need to clean my locker with a lit match or throwing all the trash away into a landfill. But there’s no time for that shit now, Lets’s see here, wait, **WHERES MY FUCKING LUNCH? I HAVE 10 MINUTES TO GET INTO CLASS!***

(Sharon notices Nate frantically searching for his lunch and walks towards him)

**Sharon:** *Nate, what's wrong?*

**Nate:** *I forgot my lunch! I ran out of my house so fast that I forgot to put my lunch in my backpack!*

Sharon: *Don't worry, Nate, I've got you covered.*

**Nate:** *Y-you do?*

**Sharon:** *Yup! We went out for Chinese food last night. I have a ton of leftovers*.

**Nate:** *Is there a fortune cookie in it? Because I want it.*

**Sharon:** *Are you sure you dont want anything else?*

**Nate:** *Nope*.

(Sharon hands Nate the fortune cookie and a couple of egg rolls)

*Hm, a fortune cookie. I like getting my fortune told. I’m into horoscopes and Magic 8 Balls and other shit like that (By the way, I’m a Scorpio. That means I’m dynamic, loyal and chock full of animal magnetism, in other words, I rock).*

*But sometimes the fortune cookies bother me. Fortune-telling means predicting the future right? But half of the time, they don't tell you jack shit about the future, it’s just lame sayings.*

*Plus the cookies taste like styrofoam that’s been coated with piss..*

*Sometimes they’re boring.*

(a fortune cookie says “A large life is a series of small events.”)

*Sometimes they’re pretty fucking stupid.*

(a fortune cookie that says “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”)

*And sometimes, when I went to some chinese restaurant a year ago, they’re so fucking bizzare that I wonder if the people making the fortunes were tripping on acid or LSD. One of them was so ridiculous, I once made a comic about it.*

*I guess you can say I have an love-hate relationship with fortune cookies, I almost always get lame sayings, but I cant resist cracking them open.*

(Nate opens the fortune cookie and jumps in amazement)

**Nate:** ***WOW!***

*Now THAT’S what I call a GREAT FORTUNE!!*

(a fortune cookie that says “You will suprass all others.)

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