American Life

> *Clip of 2003 CBS News report subtitled "America at War"*
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> **Announcer:** It was just over 90 minutes beyond President Bush's deadline for Saddam Hussein to leave Iraq that US warships and planes launched the opening salvo of Operation Iraqi Freedom
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**Todd:** The year is 2003. America prepares for war.

> *Montage clips of interviews, press conferences, and protests all from that time period*
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**Todd (VO):** President George W. Bush has declared that Iraq is building weapons of mass destruction with which to attack America and that the only possible response is a preemptive invasion. The administration's case is transparently flimsy and dishonest, both on the evidence and the ethical justification. And though the country is still reeling in shock from 9/11, the anti-war movement manages to organize massive protests.  Roughly 32 million people participate worldwide over the course of four months to no avail. America invades against all good judgment or reason. A tragic boondoggle that would eventually prove everyone's worst fears completely true and spark a new dark era of global politics. There is despair among the anti-war left, but they did have one silver lining. Not much of a silver lining in light of the historic crime unfolding, but a silver lining nonetheless.  A silver lining I heard many, many people clinging to in those awful days.

**Todd:** "At least we're gonna get a lot of great music out of this." *[exhales]* Mm-hmm.

> *Clip of protesters getting tear-gassed from the 1960s soundtracked to Jimi Hendrix - "All Along The Watchtower"*
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**Todd (VO):** "You know, like the 60s because the Vietnam War produced such great music.  Surely it'll happen again!"

**Todd:** Yeah, no, it did not.

> *Montage clips of live performance by a country artist, System of a Down - "B.Y.O.B", Green Day - "American Idiot", Dixie Chicks music video, and Eminem - "Mosh"*
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**Todd (VO):** Arguably the pro-war side's music was more emblematic of the times. The only anti-Bush music that got big was a couple System of a Down songs and *American Idiot*, which honestly, I don't think the political stuff is the strongest part of that album.  And there were several others who tried, but they mostly sucked and didn't catch on so no, we did not get great music out of this.

**Todd:** And we should have seen it coming based on the first person to throw her hat in the ring.

> *Clip of a Madonna concert*
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> **Madonna:** What are you looking at?
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**Todd (VO):** That would be Madonna. Pop superstar. Icon. Provocateur.

> *Clip of Madonna performing "Vogue"*
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> **Madonna:** Come on, vogue
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**Todd (VO):** No stranger to controversy, *[montage clips of Madonna news stories and music videos]* she had been shocking and challenging audiences all her career. Tackling sexuality, feminism, religion.

**Todd:** But never politics.

> *Clip zooming in on a poster for...*
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**Todd (VO):** That all changed with her 2003 album American Life. New ground for her but it felt like a natural progression to her career, *[clip of Madonna - "Frozen"]* which had steadily grown more thoughtful and mature. *[clips of Madonna signing albums and a live performance of "American Life"]* She always said she didn't want to be known as the "Material Girl", and this was going to be a bold step forward for her and a humungous statement for the world to witness. The biggest pop star on earth putting the full weight of her fame and celebrity against the W. administration.

**Todd:** Wait 'til that...

> *Clip of George W. Bush presidential address*
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**Todd (VO):** dimwitted, smirking warmonger in the White House hears this. "Bush, I'm Madonna!"

**Todd:** In case you don't know your history, Madonna did not stop the war.

> *Clip of Madonna - "American Life"*
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**Todd (VO):** In fact, that desperately off-brand folktronica....

**Todd:** ...protest album, question mark...

**Todd (VO):** ...did less to end the war than it did to end the Madonna era of pop music. That record was as damaging to Madonna's reputation as the war was for America's. *[clip of "American Life" performance]* So let's take a look back at the costly and poorly planned disaster that brought the Material Girl Empire into permanent decline.

**Todd:** Madonna, don't preach!  This is Trainwreckords.

> *Trainwreckords intro followed by the album cover for American Life*
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> *Clip of Madonna's 2003 VMA performance*
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**Todd (VO):** The year is 2003. Madonna is still the biggest name in music. She proves it that summer at the MTV VMAs.

> *Clip of Madonna kissing Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera*
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**Todd (VO):** This was a huge deal at the time. I remember watching it live. I also remembered that it began with Britney and Christina singing "Like a Virgin".

> **Christina Aguilera:** Like a virgin
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**Todd (VO):** I did not remember...

**Todd:** ...that Madonna also performed a song from her newest album.

> **Madonna:** Everybody comes to Hollywood
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**Todd (VO):** Yeah, that turned out to be not so memorable. That girl-on-girl kiss grabbed a lot of attention, but it turned out to be a kiss goodbye. The last truly iconic Madonna moment.

**Todd:** The concept of Trainwreckords is to highlight albums that ended careers. Now obviously Madonna kept going after this.

> *Montage clips of Madonna - "Hung Up", "4 Minutes" feat. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, Madonna's Superbowl performance, and Madonna, Maluma - "Medellín"*
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**Todd (VO):** You might have heard "Hung Up" a few times in '05, that Justin Timberlake duet was a big hit in '08, she did the Super Bowl in 2012 and she's still releasing records now, at least some of which have been pretty good.

**Todd:** And yet, American Life still represents a serious demarcation line in her discography.

> *Clip of "American Life"*
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**Todd (VO):** That record made Madonna the one thing she had avoided being her entire career:

**Todd:** Ignoreable.

> *Clip of "American Life" MTV performance*
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**Todd (VO):** After American Life, for the first time in 20 years, you did not have to have an opinion about Madonna. She persists now in the same way *[clips of "Harlem Shuffle by..."]* the Rolling Stones existed in the 80s. *[...and Madonna - "Like A Virgin"]* entirely off the momentum from great songs she made decades earlier.

**Todd:** So how did we get here?

> *Clip of Madonna - "Music"*
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**Todd (VO):** Well, the album before this one was 2000's "Music".

> **Madonna:** Music makes the people come together
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On that record, she continued down the Techno direction she'd been going in, *[clip of Madonna playing guitar]* and she also learned to play guitar and began incorporating that into her music. *[clip of Madonna - "Don't Tell Me"]* It was a decently successful hit, but I do remember some critics saying that for the first time, she seemed like she was playing catch-up with the zeitgeist instead of leading it.  It is a very year 2000 record.

**Todd:** The next couple years would be very different.

> *Clip of an anti-war protest*
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> **Protesters:** We don't want your racist war!
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**Todd (VO):** By late 2002 the idea of "music making the people come together" and "get the rebel with the bourgeoisie", it seemed like a sad, naïve joke.

**Todd:** Clearly, an adjustment was necessary.

> *Clip of Madonna getting interviewed*
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**Todd (VO):** So she made a big shift with American Life and she made her intentions very clear. *[image of American life cover]* An album cover that evokes some revolutionary iconography, *[zooms in on the title]* a title that promises a sharp-edged critique of modern culture.

**Todd:** And most importantly

> *Clip of Madonna - "American Life" Director's Cut*
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**Todd (VO):** A trademark over-the-top Madonna video to kick it off.  Yes, a glossy high budget spectacle, but this time aimed at the military-industrial complex.

> **Madonna:** Ahh- Fuck it!
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> Ahh- Fuck it!
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It is a video with really charged imagery of vapid superficiality contrasted with the horrible reality of American war.

> *A car crashes through the screen onto the stage*
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It is a video designed to shock you, to jar you out of complacency. It is the video...

**Todd:** ...that you never saw.

> *Clip of Madonna talking about American Life on MTV*
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> **Madonna:** They didn't think people wanted to be inundated with, you know, war footage that we'd used.
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**Todd:** Yeah, she cancelled the video.

> *Clip of "American Life" Director's Cut*
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**Todd (VO):** The official line is, you know, the point was to try and prevent the war.  But by then the war had already started, so now it just seemed pointless.

**Todd:** And insensitive, too, 'cause...

**Todd (VO):** ..it ends with an extremely upsetting sequence of troops getting limbs blown off, and I guess it seemed tasteless to show that on TV when it was actually about to start happening to people.

**Todd:** But this is Madonna! Madonna *scared* to shock people?

> *Clip of old video about Madonna's book "Sex"*
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**Todd (VO):** The woman who took pictures of herself getting banged by Vanilla Ice and sold copies of it for 80 bucks?

**Todd:** Are we talking about the same woman here?

> *Clip of Madonna - "Justify My Love"*
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**Todd (VO):** Shock people is what she does! She didn't even need a good reason most of the time, and this time she had one! *[clips of "American Life" Director's Cut...]* This might be upsetting, but it's for the right reasons. *[...a pro-war gathering...]* I remember how amped people were to invade. Everyone needed a reminder that war is not fun. *[...and "American Life" Director's Cut]* We're not sending men and women over there to be tickled.

**Todd:** Honestly, it seems like cowardice on Madonna's part.

**Todd (VO):** I doubt she suddenly learned good taste. More likely she was afraid of getting *[clip of Dixie Chicks performance subtitled "...we're ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas"]* Dixie Chicks-d, 'cause that had just happened.

> *Clip of "American Life"*
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Either way, she blinked. She chickened out. She cobbled together a makeshift video with anything anyone could object to removed.  Even the American flag is mixed in with a bunch of other flags. No one's offended now because it doesn't say...

**Todd:** ...or even imply a single thing.

**Todd (VO):** "Take that Estonia, Norway, Pakistan and Monaco! Micronesia had it coming!"

**Todd:** It was a bad move artistically *and* commercially. Some songs need videos.

> *Clip of "American Life" Director's Cut*
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**Todd (VO):** Image *is* substance.  For Madonna it always has been.  So removing all the imagery just crippled the album's release,

**Todd:** 'Cause man, this is not a song you want to let stand on its own.

> *Clip of "American Life"*
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> **Madonna:** Do I have to change my name?
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> Will it get me far?
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> Should I lose some weight?
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> Am I gonna be a star?
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**Todd:** What are we talking about, now?

> **Madonna:** I tried to be a boy
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> I tried to be a girl
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**Todd (VO):** Let there be no mistake about this. "American Life" is Madonna's worst single. *[clips of Madonna - "American Pie" and "Hanky Panky" live performance]* Worse than the "American Pie" cover, or the one about spanking.

**Todd:** *The* worst.

> *Clip of "American Life"*
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**Todd (VO):** If there's anything insensitive about the video, it's that it was tied to this piece-of-shit song! It has nothing to do with the war or even about American life.

**Todd:** I mean, I guess it is about *an* American life. Her own.

> **Madonna:** I tried to stay ahead
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> I tried to stay on top
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**Todd (VO):** The idea behind the song and the album is that the American Dream is ultimately meaningless. And Madonna would know because she attained it and feels empty. That Madonna's famous "Blonde Ambition" has led her nowhere.

**Todd:** Okay, fine.

> *Images of posters for "The Great Gatsby" and "Citizen Kane"*
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**Todd (VO):** Lots of great art has been made out of that.

**Todd:** But boy does it sound vapid coming out of Madonna's mouth.

> **Madonna:** I live the American Dream
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**Todd (VO):** Like, Madonna deciding that she *is* America, and if she feels bad then *America* must be bad. Jesus Christ, is she fucking serious!?

**Todd:** She's not exactly Bruce Springsteen. She's represented a lot of things in her life, but America is not one of them.

**Todd (VO):** Maybe she could have pulled it off if she were speaking more generally, but this is all specifically about her life in showbiz.

> **Madonna:** Should I lose some weight?
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> Am I gonna be a star?
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**Todd (VO):** The American Dream is not about becoming famous. Those are different things.

**Todd:** And arguably you can find a connection there, but the thread is real weak. Most Americans don't worry about picking a stage name!

> **Madonna:** Do I have to change my name?
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**Todd (VO):**  She's just writing observations about her tiny bubble and slapping the word "American" on it to try and make it sound deep.

**Todd:** Ow! There's a- a little piece of glass on the floor here. This piece of glass is America! *[text "AMERICAN FOOT PAIN" appears and trumpet fanfare plays]* Damn you, America!  How many more lies must we swallow?

**Todd (VO):** Of course, that's not the real problem. The problem is that it sounds like garbage.

> **Madonna:** This type of modern life
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**Todd (VO):** Introducing the album to the world with this song reminds me a lot of Taylor Swift's "Reputation" *[clip of Taylor Swift - "Look What You Made Me Do"]* which also kicked off with a big giant grand spectacle that was so focused on sounding big that it forgot to sound good.

> *Clip of "American Life"*
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> **Madonna:** American life
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**Todd (VO):** It's such a miserable, dour slog. And it does not have the depth to justify it, especially not towards the end.

**Todd:** And if you know anything about this album, this is the moment you've all been waiting for. So let's get to it. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you. The American Life rap!

> **Madonna:** I'm drinking a soy latte
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> I get a double shot-ay
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> It goes right through my body
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> [Todd is dancing to it] And you know I'm satisfied
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> I drive my Mini cooper and I'm feeling super-duper
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> *Clip from "Young Frankenstein"*
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> **The Monster (Pete Boyle):** Super-duper!
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> **Madonna:** They tell me I'm a trooper and you know I'm satisfied
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> I do yoga and pilates and the room is full of hotties
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> So I'm checking out the bodies
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**Todd:** Oh snap!!

> **Madonna:** I'm just living out the American dream
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> And I just realized that nothing is what it seems
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**Todd (VO):**  *[sarcastically]* Oh my God. Straight fire.

**Todd:** Eat that, Nicki and Cardi. There is a new queen of Hip-Hop.

**Todd (VO):** *[back to normal]* Okay so that was awful.

**Todd:** But if it was just bad rhymes, that'd be one thing.

> *Clips of Lady Gaga - "LoveGame" and Ke$ha - "Tik Tok"*
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**Todd (VO):** By the end of the decade, Gaga and Ke$ha would be doing similar piss-take raps, and it was somehow more endearing the worse it got. 'Cause they were being fun.

**Todd:** But Madonna is deadly serious.

> *Clip of "American Life"*
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> **Madonna:** Got a lawyer and a manager, an agent and a chef
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> Three nannies, an assistant, and a driver, and a jet
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**Todd (VO):** The thesis of the song is that her world is shallow and meaningless.

**Todd:** In that she surrounds herself with shallow luxuries like *[image of...]* soy lattes with double shot-ay's...

**Todd (VO):** ...that do not, in fact, make her satisfied.

> **Madonna:** Do you think I'm satisfied?
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Well you know what?

**Todd:** That's a pretty *shallow* critique of shallowness.

**Todd (VO):** It may as well be bragging.  If she really wants to be critical of her world of privilege,

**Todd:**  ...she could say *[image of someone pushing a stack of money under an island]* "I use several shady tax shelters" or *[image of a cartoon drawing about college payoffs]* "I bribe my kids' way into college." Not "I have a chef."  Fuck this noise.

**Todd (VO):** Okay, so "American Life" was roundly rejected. It barely cracked the Top 40.

**Todd:** Turns out, no one wants to hear a 1%er complain about having a personal staff.

> *Clip of Madonna - "Hollywood"*
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**Todd (VO):** So the next single, "Hollywood," would be on the same theme, but more digestible.

**Todd:** Better lyrics, better hook, less personal focus.

> **Madonna:** Everybody comes to Hollywood
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> They wanna make it in the neighborhood
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**Todd (VO):** Madonna really, *really* wanted this to be a hit.

> *Clip of 2003 GAP commercial featuring "Hollywood"*
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> **Madonna:** Everybody comes to Hollywood
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> *Clip of VMA performance from earlier*
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> **Madonna:** You're in Hollywood
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> You're in Hollywood
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**Todd:** And it is the most pop-friendly song on the album.

> *Clip of "Hollywood"*
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**Todd (VO):** If any song was going to be a hit, it was this.

**Todd:** And it wasn't.

**Todd (VO):** It became the first Madonna single in Madonna history to not chart at all.

**Todd:** I wasn't surprised.

> **Madonna:** How could it hurt you when it looks so good?
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**Todd (VO):** I mean, we've had *so* many songs about showbiz being a seductive lie.

**Todd:** And from Madonna it came across less as disillusionment and more an ex angry about being rejected.

> *Clip from "Swept Away"*
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**Todd (VO):** Because right before this album came out, Madonna starred in a movie so bad it ended her acting career permanently.  So Madonna's like "You know what?  Hollywood is bad anyway.

**Todd:** Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?  Not me!"

> *Clip of "Hollywood"*
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> **Madonna:** Push the button, don't push the button
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> Trip the station, change the channel
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**Todd:**  *[Todd is confused]* What am I supposed to do?

> **Madonna:** Push the button, don't push the button
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> Trip the station, change the channel
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**Todd (VO):** Yeah, Rage Against the Machine this is not.

**Todd:** "Flip the station" sounds like she's telling me to not listen to Madonna. And people didn't.

**Todd (VO):** Like, you get the idea now, right? Madonna's life in pop music has left her unfulfilled, *[clip of Madonna - "Vogue"]* but she has always made superficial music. It's her brand!

**Todd:** How do you keep making songs when you regard your *entire* back catalogue as vapid and corrupt?

> **Madonna:** Music stations always play the same song
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**Todd (VO):** Madonna decided the solution was to make her music critical of itself.

**Todd:** And what you get is pop music that makes you feel bad for listening to it.

> *Clip of Katy Perry "Chained To The Rhythm" ft. Skip Marley*
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**Todd (VO):** You may remember that Katy Perry tried to do the same thing for the same reasons and got the same results. No one wants this.

> *Clip of Madonna - "I'm So Stupid"*
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That brings us to the third song and the hardest rocker on the album, "I'm So Stupid".

> **Madonna:** IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
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> *[Todd looks shocked]* IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'm so stupid
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**Todd:** Speaking of sounding like Garbage.

> *Clip of Garbage - "Stupid Girl"*
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> **Shirley Manson:** Stupid girl
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**Todd (VO):** So yeah, I guess this is Madonna trying to be Shirley Manson.

> *Clip of "I'm So Stupid"*
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> **Madonna:** Now I know for sure
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> That I was stupid
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This is again more self-critique by Madonna. She's stupid because she clawed her way to the top and found nothing at the end.

**Todd:** She hammered this theme in the album's release.

> *Clip of Madonna getting interviewed*
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> **Interviewer:** Here's something you said. "I was a buffoon until the age of forty"
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> **Madonna:** Yes
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> *Clip of "I'm So Stupid"*
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> **Madonna:** But I used to live
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> In a fuzzy dream
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**Todd (VO):** This is so much harder to enjoy than Shirley Manson. It just doesn't pop.

**Todd:** Like, this is a problem with the entire record.

> *Clip of a Madonna live performance*
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**Todd (VO):** So much of Madonna's music from her early days to her more spiritual older self has been about joy and pleasure. Not here.

> *Clip of Madonna - "Nobody Knows Me"*
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> **Madonna:** It's no fun but the damage is done
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There are techno beats, but you wouldn't really dance to it. The entire album is very minor key and dark and dour. *[montage clips of Madonna's...]* There is no "Ray of Light" in it, it does not want you to get "Into the Groove" and you sure as shit aren't gonna "Vogue" to it!

> *Clip of Madonna - "Love Profusion"*
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> **Madonna:** There are too many questions
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**Todd (VO):** There were two other non-charting singles. "Nothing Fails" and "Love Profusion". They're not as harsh and ugly as the other tracks, but they are both minor-key tracks with acoustic guitar and techno beats.

> **Madonna:** And the love profusion
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They're both considered to be the strongest tracks on the album and you know, I guess that's true enough, but they both feel like album tracks, not singles. Like, that's the problem with this record: there's no hooks.

> *Clip of Madonna - "Nothing Fails" live performance*
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> **Madonna:** Nothing fails, no more fears
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**Todd (VO):** Now, there have been defenses of this album that have popped up in hindsight.  They call it "her most ambitious album", which you know, possibly true. And also, this is interesting, *[screenshot of a review with the text "Madonna couldn't possibly have intended to make a pop album" highlighted]* "not a pop album". Like, Pitchfork once called this album *[screenshot of Pitchfork article with the text "her wildly underrated* American Life *album" highlighted]* "wildly underrated", which should tell you who's going to enjoy it.

**Todd:** I guess what they're saying is that you have to listen to it like you're listening to...

> *Clips of videos from...*
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**Todd (VO):** ...Bjork or Imogen Heap or someone like that.

**Todd:** Well, you know, I guess I found my limits as a critic, 'cause I just cannot get myself to do that.

> *Clip of "Nothing Fails" live performance*
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**Todd (VO):** Madonna isn't Bjork and she's not Imogen Heap. She does not have the depth to pull that off. And that's not why I listen to Madonna!

**Todd:** The American Life album was...

> *Clips of Mirwais - "Naive Song" and "Music"*
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**Todd (VO):** ...produced by the French producer Mirwais.  He also did the "Music" album and I'll tell you, I'm just not vibing with this guy.

**Todd:** His stuff is all glitchy-synth and *[imitates synth bass pattern]*, and...

**Todd (VO):** ...robot vocal distortion and stuttering, stop-start beats.

> *Clip of "Love Profusion"*
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> **Madonna:** There are too-oo-oo-oo many options
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**Todd:** It-It-It-It's just way too much.

> *Clip of Madonna playing guitar*
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**Todd (VO):** He lets Madonna play guitar a little too much, also. A better producer would have stopped her from rapping a second time.

> *Clip of Madonna - "Mother & Father" live performance*
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> **Madonna:** They couldn't take my loneliness
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> I couldn't take their phoniness
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> My father had to go to work
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> I used to think he was a jerk
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**Todd:** A better producer would say "Hey, maybe don't address your daddy issues in a rap."

> *Clip of Madonna playing guitar*
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**Todd (VO):** And as the album goes on it just becomes a real slog. What is Madonna without her hits?

**Todd:** Well, there is, in fact, one hit single off this album.

> *Clip of Madonna - "Die Another Day" live performance*
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**Todd (VO):** Not a huge one, but it did crack the Top 10, and you might recognize it and remember it.

**Todd:** Yeah, let's play the big hit off this record.

> *Clip of Madonna - "Die Another Day"*
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> **Madonna:** I'm gonna wake up, yes and no
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**Todd (VO):** That's right.

**Todd:** The Bond theme!

> **Madonna:** I guess, die another day
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**Todd (VO):** You know, I remember this song being widely despised. I never really minded it. I thought it was okay.

**Todd:** If anything, I like it even more now,

**Todd (VO):** Because it is 100% the best song on the album. *The* highlight of American Life without question is "Die Another Day".

**Todd:** Sigmund Freud, analyze that!

**Todd (VO):** And it's especially funny, because it has no business being on this album. It does not fit with the rest of the record. It was probably tacked on right at the end...

**Todd:** ...just to prevent American Life from being the only Madonna record without a hit!

> *Clip of "Hollywood" live performance*
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**Todd (VO):** And can I say something? Yes, I have spent a lot of time talking about how unsympathetic it is for a fabulously successful woman to complain about being unfulfilled by fame and wealth.

**Todd:** But I have seen rich artists pull this off.

> *Clips of music videos from...*
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**Todd (VO):** Kanye, Drake and even Mike Posner have done it.

**Todd:** Part of it is that they're not reliant on beats...

> *Clips of "American Life"*
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**Todd (VO):** ...this stiff and robotic.

**Todd:** But part of it is also that they're all better writers.

**Todd (VO):** Madonna raps about a billion empty indulgences she has, and not one second of it has the devastating emptiness of...

> *Clip of Mike Poesner - "I Took A Pill in Ibiza"*
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...Posner spending his piles of cash on "girls and shoes".

> *Clip of Kanye West - "Diamonds From Sierra Lenoe"*
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And Kanye even directly linked his own materialism to atrocities happening half a world away.

> **Kanye:** I thought my Jesus piece was so harmless
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> 'Til I seen a picture of a shorty armless
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**Todd (VO):** Madonna's just too self-centered to think that broadly.

**Todd:** There is almost no one on earth...

**Todd (VO):** ...who could lose a "being down to earth" contest to *[images of...]* Kanye West but *[...and...]* Madonna is one of those elite few.

**Todd:** I mean, wasn't this supposed to be about the war!?

> *Clip of "Nobody Knows Me"*
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**Todd (VO):** Yeah, if it's not clear yet American Life is not a protest album in any way shape or form. It has nothing to say about Bush or Iraq, and after the first couple tracks we mostly just give up on social critique entirely!

> *Clip of "Nothing Fails" live performance*
>
>

> **Madonna:** I'm not religious
>
>

**Todd (VO):** Like, I guess it's about Madonna being isolated or spiritually struggling. Stuff about religion, that's maybe about Kabbalah. I don't know, I ended up tuning out most of it.

**Todd:** I don't even know if I would call this a bad album.

> *Clip of "Love Profusion"*
>
>

**Todd (VO):** Maybe a more patient listener can feel some of the religious angst and uplift that it's going for. If this was by someone I've never heard of and it didn't have the title track,

**Todd:** ...I'd just write it off as another boring Indie-Pop album that Pitchfork recommended that I didn't really feel.

> *Clip of Madonna live performance*
>
>

**Todd (VO):** But all the baggage surrounding it, all the hype about "Madonna being political now", the buildup in the marketing and her Patty Hearst beret and her *[image of "American Life" cover]* Che Guevara album color, this all turned me right the fuck off.

**Todd:** Horseshit, all of it 100% horseshit!

> *Clip of "American Life" Director's Cut*
>
>

**Todd (VO):** If the original video had been aired, you could see the soldiers on the fashion runway and at least try and connect the dots. But without it,

**Todd:** ..if I were in Iraq I'd be super insulted that this fabulously rich woman thinks her unhappiness has any connection to my situation at all!

> *Clip of news story about Madonna's Aretha Franklin tribute*
>
>

**Todd (VO):** Like, remember last year when she tried to give a tribute to Aretha Franklin, and she mostly ended up rambling about herself? That's this album! *[clip of Madonna interview]* Madonna has a reputation as a monstrous narcissist that she's been trying to shed since the mid-90s, but this album only reinforces it.

> *Clip of "American Life" live performance*
>
>

> **Madonna:** I went into a bar
>
>

> Looking for sympathy
>
>

Well, you're not getting it Madonna. *[screenshot of headline that reads "Why Celebrities Should Speak Out About the Stuff That Matters"]* There's this idea that the Glitterati have a responsibility to use their giant platforms for good.

**Todd:** And maybe they do, but so many of them are completely unequipped for that!

**Todd (VO):** Most of them didn't get there by being great people and many of them have no experience with what they're talking about. It's nice when they do, but don't be surprised when they don't. Madonna has always been able to use her image to make a statement, but she found its limits here.

**Todd:** You're not an activist and your music doesn't become deep

> *Image of a model wearing...*
>
>

**Todd (VO):** ...just 'cause you put on some camo pants. *[Clip of "Vogue"]* "Strike a pose" works for dance.

**Todd:** Not for activism.

*Gets up and leaves*

> **Madonna:** I'm gonna be a star
>
>

*Closing Tag Song: Todd plays "Hollywood" on the piano*

***THE END***

***"American Life" is owned by Maverick Records***

***This video is owned by me***

***THANK YOU TO THE LOYAL PATRONS***