Palpatine VS Xehanort

*Two power hungry avatars of ancient avarice clash, because there can only be one evil old man at the top! It's Dark Side vs Dark Seeker! Lightsaber vs Keyblade!! Force vs Heart!!!*
—Tagline
**Palpatine VS Xehanort** is the 95th episode of DBX, featuring Darth Sidious from the *Star Wars* series and Master Xehanort from the *Kingdom Hearts* series in a battle between dark villainous rulers.

## Interlude

**Ringmaster**: Welcome one and all to MY arena where you decide the outcome! No rules, only bloodshed! I am Ringmaster and this is the exhibitiooon!

**Ringmaster**: And despite my *Dark Night of the Soul* last week, we've got another amazing show today! Introducing my co-host: Perfect C-

*Perfect Cell teleports behind Ringmaster, startling him.*

**Perfect Cell**: It's me!

**Ringmaster**: *(scared)* Ahahahahahaha!

**Perfect Cell**: Perfect Cell. Well, well, not a bad arena you got here! Kinda skimpy on the ring though. Hate to break it to ya', but mine is bigger.

**Ringmaster**: *(sigh)* Of course, you can fly too.

**Perfect Cell**: I just think calling yourself Ringmaster might be overselling it. Just a bit.

**Ringmaster**: Hehehe.. You're baiting me right now, but I'm not falling for it! The only thing I'm falling for is our fighters!

**Perfect Cell**: Heh. Wimp.

## Emperor Palpatine

**Ringmaster**: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, the Galactic Republic got its ass handed to it by the hammiest, Saturday-morning cartoon villain of all time: Emperor Palpatiiine!

**Perfect Cell**: Real name: Sheev! Yeah, really rolls off the tongue. But I guess with names like "Elan Sleazebaggano" and "Therm Scissorpunch" it is on brand. But you may also know him as "Daddy Palps"! Or my personal favorite: "The Senate".

**Ringmaster**: Eh, you know what else is on-brand for old Sheevy: Zappin' you with Sith lightning while cackling like a lunatic, ahahahaha!

*A chibi Ringmaster wearing a black cloak shoots lightning out of his hands while laughing.*

**Ringmaster**: Eh-, er, excuse me. Uh, because Palps is the most powerful Sith of all time, and has all the crazy Force powers you know and love!

**Perfect Cell**: Moving stuff with telekinesis, mind-controlling fools, sucking the life out of planets. I mean, I doubt he could fire a Kamehameha out of hands and blow up a solar system, BUT.. he's still pretty cool.

**Ringmaster**: And with his duel lightsabers, he's mastered the deadly martial art of crazy, twirling, monkey-man-fu.

*A chibi Ringmaster swings around two red lightsabers rapidly. When he stops, one of his hands fall off and he appears suprised.*

**Ringmaster**: Truly the most graceful of all lightsaber forms.

**Perfect Cell**: So is the Force just a polite way of saying crystal meth? Because otherwise, I have no idea how he can do ANY OF THIS without throwing out his back.

**Ringmaster**: *(thinking while Perfect Cell is talking)* There's somethin' up with this guy. Huh.. Wait a minute. Or is it just me?

## Master Xehanort

**Ringmaster**: An excellent question! How do these old guys get around to conquering the universe? And who better to answer it than Master Xehanort!

**Perfect Cell**: Oh cool, a name stupider than "Sheev".

**Ringmaster**: It seems like it comes with the territory in *Kingdom Hearts*. Xehanort's a man, or.. several, on a mission to do something.. evil? Doesn't really matter what it is, but we know it's bad because they use the word "darkness" a lot!

**Perfect Cell**: But he wouldn't get anywhere quick without his Keyblade. Which somehow cuts despite being.. not sharp. Wait, like, at all?

*A chibi Ringmaster spins around a Keyblade but accidentally hits himself in the head with it, splitting him into two.*

**Ringmaster**: And it lets him cast crazy spells. Fire, ice, lightning! He can do basically anything and even stop time to fight Mickey Mouse.

**Perfect Cell**: Or just kill you. He has a spell that.. kills you. Yeah.

*A chibi Ringmaster swings around a Keyblade to cast a spell, when a puff of smoke covers him and then disappears to reveal his tombstone with his Keyblade stuck into the ground.*

**Perfect Cell**: He's like a cranky, trench coat-wearing, phlegm wizard that- ahhhh, actually I have no idea where I'm going with that one.

**Ringmaster**: Neither do I and I don't want to know. All I know is that Xehanort is a badass Spock grandpa and at the end of the day, isn't that what life is all about?

**Perfect Cell**: Not even slightly.

## Prelude

**Perfect Cell**: Woah, hold on. Why aren't you wearing the outfit?

**Ringmaster**: Uh, w-what outfit?

**Perfect Cell**: We talked about it over the phone. It's in my contract! You can't be my sidekick if you don't wear the outfit!

**Ringmaster**: I'm NOBODY's sidekick. This is MY ring and I'm its master, so-

*Perfect Cell points a Ki blast at Ringmaster.*

**Ringmaster**: *(scared)* Ihhhhh!

*Ringmaster quickly flies his flying platform to the center of the arena and begins descending into it to change his outfit.*

**Ringmaster**: *(mumbling)* S-stupid Cell and his *Dragon Ball Z*...

*Ringmaster bounces out of the center of the arena, now in a Kermit the Frog outfit.*

**Ringmaster**: So without further ado, it's time-

*Perfect Cell teleports next to Ringmaster.*

**Perfect Cell**: And the voice.

**Ringmaster**: *(in a Kermit voice)* It's time for an exhibition! Yaaaay!

## Exhibition

*The scene begins within the Death Star, as an Arwing and X-wing pass by an observation window in front of a large chair. An elevator door opens to reveal Master Xehanort as he stops between two guards before snapping their necks with telekinesis and tossing their bodies off the platform.*

**Palpatine**: I sense great power within you.

*The chair near the observation window rotates to reveal Emperor Palpatine.*

**Palpatine**: Join me and we shall rule the galaxy together.

**Xehanort**: An interesting proposal but...

*Xehanort summons the Gazing Eye Keyblade to his hand in preparation for battle.*

**Xehanort**: I don't think you'll be necessary for that.

*As the Keyblade Master of Darkness comes closer, the former Chancellor leaves his chair, using the Force to draw two lightsabers to his hands before activating them.*

**Palpatine**: So be it.

*Palpatine charges towards Xehanort with a swing of his lightsabers that is deflected before Xehanort fires a burst of flame that is similarly deflected by the Emperor as he continues his assault. Xehanort leaps back towards the elevator as Palpatine uses the Force to rip out two consoles to toss towards his opponent, only for Xehanort to blast the first console to pieces with magic.*

**Xehanort**: Foolish!

*Xehanort blasts himself forward as he slices the second console in half as he nears Palpatine.*

**Palpatine**: Unlimited Power!!

*Palpatine stops Xehanort where he is with a barrage of Force Lightning which the leader of Organization XIII blocks with a sinister chuckle.*

**Xehanort**: Guard!

*Xehanort creates a barrier around himself as Palpatine cackles maniacally, before his opponent snaps his fingers to cast another spell.*

**Xehanort**: Burn!

*A large explosion consumes Palpatine as Xehanort floats back to the ground. As the smoke clears, Palpatine uses the Force to retrieve one of his lightsabers as he and Xehanort clash blades before matching each others strikes. Xehanort steps back as he readies his magic before firing three bursts of dark magic which Palpatine deflects before retaliating with another burst of Force Lightning which is blocked again by Xehanort. As the mentor of Darth Vader chuckles he fails to notice the glowing circle beneath his feet until Xehanort finally casts the spell.*

**Xehanort**: Freeze!

*Ice slowly consumes Palpatine before he is encased within a large block of ice of which he frees himself using the Force.*

* True Ending
* Alternate Ending

### True Ending

**Xehanort**: You're nothing!

*Xehanort teleports behind Palpatine as he attempts to attack him from behind only for the Sith Emperor to block it. While holding Xehanort in place, Palpatine uses the Force to pull his other lightsaber towards him and activate it before it pierces Xehanort's body from behind. Taking advantage of the vulnerability, Palpatine then uses his other lightsaber to bisect Xehanort at the waist before blasting him into the observation window with the Force, cracking it. Palpatine cackles in triumph before entering the elevator.*

**Palpatine**: A pity. It seems you didn't have the Heart.

*Palpatine cackles again as the elevator door closes while Xehanort attempts to fire one last burst of magic, only for the observation window to shatter, ejecting him into space as his body finally separates into two.*

### Alternate Ending

**Xehanort**: Pathetic! Your Heart is weak!

*Palpatine looks around in confusion as the mist from his icy prison surrounds him before revealing that he is no longer on the Death Star but rather he is now on his own Dive to The Heart platform, depicting himself and the Death Star. Lightning strikes as Palpatine turns around to see Xehanort above him in front of a gateway with the χ-Blade in hand.*

**Xehanort**: Come, Kingdom Hearts!

*Xehanort summons Kingdom Hearts as a beam from the χ-Blade strikes it in the center, causing it to charge up.*

**Xehanort**: Descend into darkness and begone, old fool!

*With those last words, Kingdom Hearts fires a beam that splits Palpatine's Dive to The Heart in two while Palpatine screams as he is vaporized to nothingness.*

## Trivia

### Production

* The connections between Palpatine and Xehanort are that they are both black-clad villains who are the leaders of their series' main antagonistic force (the Galactic Empire and Organization XIII, respectively) who fight on the dark side of an endless war between light and darkness and wield special blades (a lightsaber and a Keyblade, respectively). Both are master manipulators who seek to take over the world, having betrayed others to gain more power (Darth Sidious and Master Eraqus, respectively) and corrupted young heroes of the light (Anakin Skywalker and Terra, respectively).
* This is the first episode with Perfect Cell as a co-host.

### Easter Eggs

* The X-wing and Arwing that appears in the start of the fight is a reference to X-Wing VS Arwing, which also animated in SFM.
* In the normal ending, Palpatine can be heard monologuing during the credits, saying "I love democracy. And I love Death Battle. My favorite was that one with Ben 10. Time, huh? Thanks for the tip. HA HA HA. That Gray Fox absolutely destroys Snake Eyes. Total blitz. Like no diff."
	+ "I love democracy" is a famous quote and meme of Palpatine, used here to reference the fact that the winner was decided through a democratic vote.
	+ Palpatine references the infamous "Time, huh? Thanks for the tip." line from Ben 10 VS Green Lantern, which Palpatine says is his favorite Death Battle episode, likely because it was written by Liam Swan, who voices Palpatine in this episode.
	+ The end of the monologue makes reference to the 237th episode of DEATH BATTLE Cast, specifically its Community Death Battle, Snake Eyes VS Gray Fox, and the angry reactions of Liam Swan (Palpatine's voice actor in this episode and the one that repped Gray Fox in the aforementioned Cast) upon Snake Eyes winning all the votes from Chad James, Joshua Kazemi, and the polls both on Twitter and in the live chat despite his best efforts.
	+ This cannot be heard in the alternate ending, as Palpatine is dead.

### Errors

* The left side of Xehanort's render is cut off in the episode's thumbnail, resulting in a noticable gap in between it and the DBX logo.

### Other

* Prior to this episode, Brandon Yates made a track for the matchup called "This Hearless Empire" as part of his "What If?" commission tracks, with said track even being used in the fight itself.