Slug's Men

Slug's men were a crew of ~~wierd, utterly useless freaks who are entirely, 100% utterly useless and serve no purpose other than being scenery for 90% of the movie~~, *Elite Warriors*, who joined their leader, Slug in flying around space and conquering stuff.

Aside from four soldiers, they can entirely dismissed as weirdly decorated trees.

## The Big Four!

The big four are Lord Slug's most trusted and least pathetic men, though still pathetic they are not *as* pathetic as the others. They are all anaemic. There's no way around that.

#### **The orange guy with horns**

* He was known for his French accent, possibly one he put on, considering his nationality as a Space Monster. He wore nothing but a pair of trunks, possibly having some sort of weird nudist thing going on. He spent his time complaining about things, bullying nerds and talking about how lousy the missions were. His disdain for both was shown in his mocking statements. He made the fatal mistake of insulting Slug's age, dying from what was surely reported as a workplace incident. But we know what really happened...

### **The fat Sean Connery impersonator**

* He had a Shcotish Acshent and shpoke fairly shlurred when ushing wordsh with esh'sh. He was known mainly for his fight with Big Green where he stated, and I quote "Buuuuwaah! I may not look it, but I'm fashter than a bolt of lightneeeeeeaaaaaugh." to which our hero cleverly retorted that all the moves produced by the fat Sean Connery impersonator up to this point had far more resemblance to thunder than lightning. Hilarious! He then proclaimed that Big Green would now see lightning strike before having his hand crushed, screaming, running away and begging for his life. He also claimed to be the same type as Big Green. What he meant by this, who knows? Perhaps the fact he was an alien, or an inhabitant of the same miserable planet as their emperor or lord, who knows? He was killed by Big Green in humiliating circumstances. It is unknown if he has any relation to the real life actor, Sean Connery, though it is highly likely.

### **Chubby green Elmo**

* Yet another impersonation from this group, Chubby green Elmo, of no relation to Big Green or Little Green, was possibly the most annoying of the four. No one knows how this green space monster found out about Elmo, or how he came to master his impersonation to the point where the two are indistinguishable. To tell the truth, like most side villains no one really cares about him. He can separate himself into separate beings which are separate and jump off separately and absorb people's energy. He calls this '*impressive*' attack the ***DOUBLE WHAMY!*** But when facing a Super Warrior like Goku all it does it get his weird little offspring exploded. He later died a pathetic death, unsurprising, as this appears to be a common trend with Slug's men.

### **This guy**

* I think he summed it up himself when he said "as usual I do nothing at all." One is led to assume from his mannerisms and camp voice that he is of the \*ahem\* *same persuasion.* What is he? Who is he? No one knows, and no one cares. His only moments include a cheap shot on the heroic Big Green as he attempts to stop him from murdering a child. Good job. He later dies when Goku uses a Kamaya-maya or something like that to blast his mouth attack back into his head and kill him in what I can only imagine was an excruciatingly horrible way to die. Because Goku is the hero.

## Efficiency

This list displays the numerous effeciencies of Slug's men.

• Being allergic to sunlight

• Getting beat up by a human who compared to pretty much every other major character in the series, specifically those from outer space, is pretty weak

• Needing a very convoluted mechanism in order to have nearly any operational success whatsoever

• Poor inter staff dialogues, usually involving berating and verbal abuse

• Lord Slug being a bit of an asshole