The Chronicles Of The Idiot Specimens

Here you can see a collection of untold stories about our buffoons (AKA the Ruby Bearers and other characters) in their natural habitat...

## Two and a half idiots

**\*X weeks before war happened\***

Mel: Ayre

Ayre: ...

Mel: Ayre

Ayre: ...

Mel: AYRE

Ayre: **\*annoyed silence doing something important for state security\***

Mel: guy with two horns and two wings

Ayre: ...

Mel: **\*inhales\*** LOVE

Ayre: what

Conah: what

Mel: what

## The cookie recipe

**\*Zen in one of the elf bakeries\***

'This, sir, is not a proper cookie recipe'

'Forgive me for my brashness, but dear customer, **\*bows before the bird lord\*** everything is prepared from the best available ingredients in the land and baked by chefs with at least a thousand years experience'

'My cookie knowledge is more than vast, it's absolute. Look at this, **\*breaks a cookie in half\*** the crumbs show that it does not have an equal mixture of white and brown sugar, and thus it is too coarse'

'Sir, it is equally mea-'

'No, no, it is not, look **\*pulls out a recipe ledger from which brilliant holy light shines forth, blinding the staff and points to an impossibly hard recipe with the secret ingredient love\*** here'

## Zophiel's present

**\*One evening in elf palace after Zophiel drags herself to her room to maybe sleep\***

'Finally some peace'

**\*sees a package on her desk, not bed as she considers sleep below her, but instantly recognizes it's from Kairos\***

'Not this brat again **\*remembers he's king now, but shrugs either way\*** I said if he litters my room again I will burn it'

**\*a few hours later\***

**\*Zophiel wearing the comfy scarf he gave her with pretty blue and silver patterns while cooped up in her work again\***

## Chrono, the fashion expert

**\*Chrono one day after training to create the new spell set\***

'When will I ever get the chance to find my family and not fail because of my lacking abilities'

**\*somewhere in the background Lu Zhi Ying overseeing intelligence gathering to help Chrono genuinely caring in some way\***

**\*Chrono putting away a precious dagger for himself\*** 'I just wish I'd have the chance to live my life'

**\*the group making sure he eats with them, goes out with them or annoy him intentionally to distract him from his stoicism\***

'When will people appreciate my fashion sense **\*after he upgraded to cool level\***'

**\*Someone knocking on the door, it was Conah\***

'Mister Chrono, pardon my intrusion, but where do you get your garments from by any chance?'

**\*Chrono's eyes sparkling\***

## The art of words

**\*Eden is getting along well with locals in the elf capital and found a journalism establishment\***

'You must be joking' **\*Eden shaking a manuscript and employees onlooking in embarassment and awe yet still\***

**\*Someone whispers\*** 'hey, isn't she the one from mug-dark-the-diamond-lost-castle-ladies-trickster-phantom scandal-' **\*gets slapped on the mouth\*** 'shut it, she's a genius!'

'Where is the truth, the flamboyancy, there is no mastery of the art of words in this souless paper' **\*she dramatically lets down the manuscript and gathers her spiritual energy before preparing to impart the truth\*** 'you need the help of a professional,'

**\*manages to increase the public rating of the X establishment above its competition more than anyone did in centuries\***

**\*Meanwhile on the other side\***

Maveth: do you think she misses me

Tynan: **\*side eyeing\*** certainly not you **\*keeps on carving a whole set of trinkets to attach to Eden's musical instruments he was working on\***

## What are sweets?

**\*Conah one day soon after rescuing him, being given greenlight to leave the elf palace on his own, going around from shop to shop and getting varied reactions to his appeareance and constant lightbulb effect on his surroundings, quietly leaves a small pouch with a bow at a room's entrance before scuttling off\***

**\*few hours later\***

**\*A figure wrapped in a certain grandma's blanket opens the door, but since she was looking down, sad, she saw the pouch and her eyes lit up at its contents\***

"That's my favourite candy..."

**\*On the other side of the palace, few hours earlier\***

**\*Ayre squinting at what Conah brought\*** "She still likes those things? After ALL this time?" **\*pointing to the disgustingly sweet bunch of some dubious fruit that shouldn't be eaten as candy\***

"Hey, at least it's not that... iced tea thing **\*confused angel processing\*** or you'd need to use your magic for your drink cooler calling again"

"...Mortals are weird, who eats pure sugar and cold drinks when it's freezing outside for them..." **\*still is the one who paid for the candy\***

## Kairos, the new king

**\*First day after Kairos' Coronation Cermony and Banquett\***

**\*Kairos angry, serious, but putting his charming face, secretly nervous inside\***

**\*Zophiel pops up and hugs him back\***

**\*Kairos the happiest king in the history of the elf kingdom solving 40 problems of the realm in the first day as ruler\***

## A new fluffy friend

**\*After the chaos of fleeing with the angel burrito from the scary cult in the middle of the forest of thorns and Zophiel's shenanigans of casually breaking a dimension's borders to take the demon bean out on a stroll, now as people became accustomed - at least believed - that Ayre became a part of their group and the dumbfounded Kairos didn't even bother with the matter of another demon being inside the castle, people vecame concerned about why Conah refused to answer the door-even when they tried to lure him with little puppies\***

**\*Lacking mental stability but still on duty nonetheless, Melithea dragged herself with Ayre to the room Conah was given after he was rescued. She knocked on the door, but nobody answered. She opened it - suspiciously it was unlocked- and there, on a wardrobe, perched like a pigeon more than an angel, stood Conah craddling his knees to his chest looking traumatised\***

"Conah? Why don't you get down from there, it must be uncomfortable?" **\*she asked, unsure of what to do as she was terribly confused of what her past life and him were like... and now she felt even more terribly awkward\***

"I... I can't" **\*Conah said, sounding a little shaky. His wings wrapped tightly around his body and he looked like a cocoon\***

"Why not?" **\*Melithea asked, surely he wasn't afraid or 2 meters of height. Or maybe there was a bug on the floor...? She couldn't be the only one afraid of them\***

"I'm just... scared." **\*Conah said quietly\*** "I just feel so alone."

"Alone?" **\*Melithea said, frowning\*** "I'm here, aren't I? Ayre's here. You're best friends."

"That's not what I meant" **\*Conah said\***

"I know you're here, but... you're not the same." **\*He frowned, but the others in the room couldn't see that. His best friend who was the only one he could call brother suffered for who knows how long... and this lookalike didn't remember anything. Only Ayre felt how everything was muddied, twisted, uncertain in his little heart, he felt like that as well\***

"Lisaena you mean?" **\*Melithea said, looking confused. She didn't want to push - he was a stranger for her - but at the same time this matter was growing guilt inside the deepest corners of her heart\***

"Yes, I know... you don't remember anything," **\*the disheartened angel could barely bring himself to talk\*** "But I do. And everything is... "

**\*He trailed off and only a quiet hiccup betrayed that he was weeping. His wings flapped slightly, as though he was struggling with his emotions\***

**\*At that, Ayre left aside the idea of giving the poor angel space and somehow amidst all those feathers he still found his hand and held it tightly. Then suddenly, that pitiful ball of white feathers hopped off and held on to his reunited friend as if otherwise he'd disappear just as when he lost them both millenia ago. He cried and cried, and she could swear upon her heart that each tear he shed turned to sparkles before they could fall\***

**\*She felt like she did not belong there, so she quietly stepped away, as silently as her clumsy big frame allowed her to, but she was stopped in her tracks\***

"Can you... hold me?"

**\*Conah's eyes looked up at her from where he'd clung on to Ayre, and it seemed almost too innocent for such an ancient being - but at the same time, they burned right through her to the very core of the hapzardly put back together thing called her soul\***

**\*Her hairs stood on end - did all of his kind have that presence - of not belonging to the mortal plane? Or it was only her mind sowing fear when there should be none? Sometimes she wished she stayed back on her mountain and settled for picking herbs...\***

M: "Um... me?" **\*She pointed a finger at herself\***

A: "Who else?" **\*He would have covered his eyes in second hand embarassment if he could - his hands occupied with the as clingy as remembered friend\***

M: "But I can't"

A: "Come on, he's fluffy."

C: "I am fluffy - wait, hey!"

M: "Ehhh... I will go away... I just wanted to give this back" **\*she took a white feather out of her pocket and put it on a small desk\***

C: **\*GASP\*** "You kept it!"

M: "I what?"

A: **\*snickering\***

M: "It stuck to me by accident-"

C: "You kept it!"

M: "I mean, yes, for a day?"

A: **\*laughing out loud by now\***

## Cuddle ratings

Cuddle rating for the lovely story our dm gods created and we are part of

**Aya** - we don't speak about aYyyaaa -oo/10

**Ayre** -  keeps his side of the bed but can't say no to hugs and ends up with his arms and legs around you, very warm and perfect for cold lomian weather, probably pushes you out of the bed with his 12 m wingspan and you end up with the neighbours 7/10

**Conah** - traumatised boy has his own space but in theory, cuddles close and hugs tight, wake up in the same position if fallen asleep because he's sweet and doesn't dare move even if you cut off his circulation in a limb, a bit cramped from wings 8/10

**Chrono** - if he is not contemplating his goals and life like a shakespear drams then there may be chances to hug him, once a month, probably without a shirt as usual but lu zhi ying for sure isn't bothered by that, "cold doesn't bother him" and seems to hold hands in sleep 6/10

**Eden** - you don't even know you are hugging her except the constant presence of her comforting confidence even when cuddling, protect at all costs from outside world, might lose her between pillows in the backrooms 8/10

**Gallaeron** - unable to unstick the individual from your (zophiel's) side even with a crowbar, hugs tight and usually big spoon, unlikely to sneak out if he falls asleep, chance to be pancaked 7/10

**Kairos** - he needs the cuddles, he lives from the cuddles, he is the cuddles, hug him back and you give him dose of happiness for a whole day (zophiel), makes a pillow fort, hugs as ifthe softest fluffies alpaca ended up in your bed and liked caressing (zophiel) your hair 9/10

**Lu zhi ying** - feels like coziness in the flesh and a goddess took you in her arms, you're the most pampered princess (prince chrono ahem) in the world, sleep like a baby and craddled to her chest 9/10

**Mel** - likes giving pats, stays close as heck and curls around like a koala, a bit too hard in places and if she leans her weight on you you turn pancake, high chance of ending up in a weird position or squeezed to death, but keeps you warm 5/10

**Theodore** - he doesn't want to wrinkle his perfect night robes and sleeps like a princess alone without even moving in sleep 1/10

**Tynan and Maveth** - you sleep with both, they come in a duo pack, maveth is clingy and tynan hugs more carefully, likely to end up cuddled from both sides or teaming up to push maveth off the bed 7/10 because maveth

**Zen** - absolute fluff, either cause you to sneeze or fall asleep like on a cloud, easy to hug and if snoring sounds like a humminbird and is too funny to wake up, watch out for murder talons if you desire to still have legs 7/10

**Zophiel** - she doesn't sit still for long enough to properly hug/cuddle or doesn't sleep, stiff with the group at start but now willing to hug, doesn't invade other's space and very soft hold 6.5/10

## How to not train productively

What happens when our idiots spar?

**Ayre** - menancingly walks to the opponent, attacks sharply and fast and even the wings are weapons; if mel's the opponent he just swings her away like a potato sack but it's only because she didn't dodge so to not hurt her; conah gets thrown around as well; zophiel and ayre fistbump after fight like bros

**Chrono** - someone needs to set him up a whole separate practice field, he's a nuclear bomb in a package; sometimes gets bullied by melee users and even pancaked by mel as payback; gets backhanded by Eden if he attepts to use the ruby copy spells

**Conah** - the moment when a cloud attacks you, you may want to lay down your arms but you still get kicked in the shins; graceful and floaty of course, but i don't know man he seems the type to turn scary; when against Zen it's like there's two pterodactyls

**Eden** - speedy gonzales, now you see her now you don't; incredibly good at disarming the opponent, but she's so squishy she flies away if hit too hard; zophiel brings her sugar doses after since she's schmol and needs sustenance; there was one time Eden grabbed Chrono by the ears and incapacitated him

**Gallaeron** - he's quite cheerful even when swinging a darn claymore at you, if you're melee rip; hands on and grabs or sweeps you off your feet if needed to keep you in range; way too upbeat when against Zophiel and Kairos and somehow Conah; mel and cookie leave the training grounds a bit crater filled with hitting like oonga boonga

**Kairos** - he likes to show off even if it already clear through his weapon handling that he knows what he's doing; very twirly and jumpy, compensates with agility in melee as he doesn't seem the kind to wield bows even if it'd be symbolistic - dude has a waist fit for ninja moves; if he's up against zophiel he may as well just fangirl and drop his weapon

**Lu Zhi Ying** - ye mortals doth cease thine wish to witness this, she possessed of a sword and she's not afraid to wield it; probably casts some eldritch magic

**Maveth** - lizard boi boasts A LOT, says something like 'you can't beat me' and while yes, he may be a god and the opponent gets k.o. , it does not mean that it stops the other from stomping his ego even a bit; he's one to use impressive looking spells and moves, not the most effective ones

**Melithea** - țin-te că vine acceleratul, big and falls hard, likes to laugh like a hyena after measely weapons get parried by her skin alone; sometimes panics when her echoes just stare and do nothing; refuses downright to spar with Zen

**Tynan** - pretty much the silent stalker sneaky, unreadable, and honourable opponent; if you win he commends your skill, if you lose he still acts respectfully; actually a good teacher for battle arts!

**Zenid** - target practice extreme mode, you ain't hitting him nyuuming around like he's on zoomies; very defensive in style, but honestly that's overkill with how fast he is; aoe s usually graze him; but when he's up against ayre he just casts invisible and ignores his existence/camps him aand shoot arrows when least expected to

**Zophiel** - very fast, very very very fast, rip if you're melee you'll get so dizzy it'll feel like you're at ballet; opponent won't get any real injuries but probably will be too tired to get their butt off the ground afterwards; when she uses magic it's dormeo, noapte bună, but fear not, there's healers for a reason; especially careful until opponent complains that she's pulling back punches, then may god spare you