Everything feels like effort

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## Thread Transcript

**Spoildfairy**

04-12-2016, 07:53 AM

The processes are feeling like effort. When I try to meditate my thoughts go to situations that have me upset. I am always angry. I hate my job and am want to leave my husband. I accept I am creating this but I feel something has to change quickly.

I try to fall asleep with positive thoughts but once again crap thoughts come in. In the morning when I wake up when the alarm goes off at 330 my first thought is here we go with this shit again. I know this isn't the way to start the day I've been studying Abraham for a few years and see some results but I've come to a place where I feel very unhappy and unfulfilled. This attitude is really manifesting in my life with everything. Reaching for a better feeling thought is like reaching for a mist that dissolves as quickly as I think it

**ease123**

04-12-2016, 11:10 AM

If it feels like effort it's more than likely you are reaching for thoughts that are too far from where you are on the EGS.

As you've probably heard before, choose thoughts that feel slightly better rather than choosing thoughts that are positive when feeling like crap.

**JoshuaDM**

04-12-2016, 12:02 PM

"The processes are feeling like effort. "

I sometimes feel like doing a process, and other times I really don't. Does it feel better right now to do a process or just to go with the flow?

"When I try to meditate my thoughts go to situations that have me upset."

Sometimes I can't nap or even meditate, but I can still distract or go general.

"I am always angry."

Sometimes it seems like I am always angry. I have been feeling anger fairly often. There has been a moment, two, or three each day for the past few days when I've felt really angry. There have been other periods of frustration. I suppose there have been some moments when I've felt less bad too. I like the idea that I don't have to feel good, only a little bit better, to see different manifestational responses from the universe.

"I hate my job"

There are many unwanted aspects of my job. It could be worse, if I had someone stick a fork in my eye, in fact the fork in the eye thing would probably be quite a bit of a worse manifestation than the job, but the job in my vortex of creation is about equally better than this than the fork is worse. I have sometimes been doubting the universe, myself, or Abe's description of how the universe works. I am glad I can focus on things other than my job in some moments of my day.

"and am want to leave my husband."

There are many unwanted aspects of my \_\_ (husband). ditto the above.

"I accept I am creating this but I feel something has to change quickly."

I want things to change quickly, even if they only change a little bit I want the universe to be responding to my thoughts immediately, and there can be changes in how I feel in an instant since it only takes an instant to think a different thought from the one I was thinking a moment ago. The thoughts have momentum which is a real drag, but I at least know enough to be able to not augment the unwanted momentum. And it's nice knowing that eventually it will peter out and eventually I will get ot enjoy all the good things in my vortex, even if I have to croak to do it it's inevitable. I am already Source, always have been, always will be, and I can relax my resistance just a smidge at a time.

I try to fall asleep with positive thoughts but once again crap thoughts come in. In the morning when I wake up when the alarm goes off at 330 my first thought is here we go with this shit again. I know this isn't the way to start the day I've been studying Abraham for a few years and see some results but I've come to a place where I feel very unhappy and unfulfilled. This attitude is really manifesting in my life with everything. Reaching for a better feeling thought is like reaching for a mist that dissolves as quickly as I think it

Why on earth do you have your alarm set for 3:30?? Never mind, don't worry about the "morning process" in that case, it doesn't sound like low-hanging fruit.

"Every morning for a few my first thought has been 'here we go with this sh-t again' and that's my emotional guidance. Right now I'm not feeling quite THAT bad, but I'm not feeling good. I want to feel better. I look forward to feeling better. I have managed, in my waht-is, past experience, to have mornings when I woke up feeling not as bad as that, and I can do it again, and I also know that in my vortex is the essence of waking up in mornings feeling "here we go with this amazing life again!"

**Marc**

04-12-2016, 01:26 PM

The processes are feeling like effort.

Usually that's because you're trying to make too big of a jump. You talk about that a bit, where you mention that you try to reach for "positive" thoughts, but when you're angry you're nowhere near positive. Stop trying to make the jump to positive and reset your sights on feeling BETTER. Right now, BETTER looks like "less crappy." If you're used to feeling angry all the time, BETTER probably looks like blame, which is sort of a watered down version of anger. It's not a dramatic shift, but dramatic shifts usually aren't sustainable.

When I try to meditate my thoughts go to situations that have me upset.

Then you're best looking for meditation that requires a little more focus. The point of meditation is that you give your mind something other that what you're used to focusing on that allows you to take a break. I like picking a meaningless subject that I don't have any resistance to, like pinwheels or hula hoops or something silly, and just bringing my attention to that subject. When my mind wanders (and it always does at first), I just bring my attention back to my subject. After a few minutes, I can feel my resistance subside. It just takes a bit of focus, but without trying TOO hard.

I am always angry. I hate my job and am want to leave my husband. I accept I am creating this but I feel something has to change quickly.

I try to fall asleep with positive thoughts but once again crap thoughts come in. In the morning when I wake up when the alarm goes off at 330 my first thought is here we go with this shit again. I know this isn't the way to start the day I've been studying Abraham for a few years and see some results but I've come to a place where I feel very unhappy and unfulfilled. This attitude is really manifesting in my life with everything. Reaching for a better feeling thought is like reaching for a mist that dissolves as quickly as I think it

That really illustrates my point. A thought that truly feels BETTER isn't hard to reach for. It's also not hard to sustain. Again, it doesn't take a lot of effort to soften the way you feel a bit. The task isn't to convince yourself to feel positive about your job or your husband, but it's not too difficult to find a place where you feel like things are a little less shitty. That's all it is, just progressively easing up.

**Maitri**

04-12-2016, 04:07 PM

I've experienced that dissonant feeling...wanting to soothe something really terrible, trying to meditate, and realizing that I'm completely unable to focus. In meditating, I'm seeking a feeling of peace. But sometimes that peace is nowhere near where I am, so I don't resonate with it and it doesn't take me in.

As others have mentioned, this is a sign that you need to meet yourself closer to where you are. Are you doing any of this work in writing? Write down where you are on the Emotional Guidance Scale. If you don't know, just dump your thoughts and feelings on the page, read them again, and find the closest match. Then write out a rampage on the next level up. If you find yourself at Despair, this means you'll be rampaging on Insecurity or Unworthiness. If you're at Hatred, you'll rampage on Revenge. This is all wonderful and good. You can continue moving up day after day, or you can fall down and start over again. It's all perfectly fine. Instead of trying to squash your bad-feeling thoughts in the morning, try starting your day with this practice and just sit with your feelings as they are.

Having a crappy day instead of a horrible day is just grand...then you can have a ridiculous day instead of a crappy day, and a boring day instead of a ridiculous day, and on and on. And all of this will feel a hundred times better than where you are right now.

**crystalgarden**

04-12-2016, 11:12 PM

Hi Spoildfairy,

I want to reach out and give you a hug :s13:

If it feels like relief to you, perhaps take a break from the processes or any other conscious spiritual work. Don't even worry about reaching for a better feeling thought. Let yourself cry, feel sad and upset, sleep (lots of naps and lie ins!!), journal or whatever else feels soothing. If it appeals to you, you could also just find better feeling things to distract yourself with. Simple and easy things, like looking at cute animal pictures, watching good films, reading books and magazines, petting your cat or dog, etc. :petcat: Anything you enjoy that feels relieving. And of course there is often relief in the simplest of things, like a warm shower or eating a delicious comforting meal!

On your phone, you could upload photos of people, things, and places you love. Anything that makes you smile! While you are at work, or anywhere throughout the day, take a few minutes to look at them when you're stressed or feeling down. This has really helped me, and maybe it would for you too. Just a quick glance at something you love can make you feel a little better and more hopeful.

I've also felt very depressed, in complete despair and hopelessness, hating everything in my life. It is an awful place to be, but it is possible to move up from the emotional scale from wherever you are. All you need to do is follow your inner guidance, reach for relief and embrace your emotions, even if they don't feel pretty. Sometimes an intense anger (or fear, jealousy, or anxiety) release clears a lot of sadness and stuck energy. Give your permission to feel how you feel, without judgment, and don't worry about being at your brightest and most energetic right now.

Be gentle and easy on yourself. :hearts: Your cork will rise in time :icon\_stairstoheaven

So many wonderful things in your vortex are awaiting you!

**Spoildfairy**

04-13-2016, 07:33 AM

Thank you every one for your replies and advice. Going to start using that good advice right now.

**Spoildfairy**

04-13-2016, 07:36 AM

Thank you Crystalgarden you are very kind. Hugs back.

**crystalgarden**

04-13-2016, 01:15 PM

:s13::godownstream::)