They All Died On The Dead Mountain

They all died on the dead mountain.

What an odd way to start a journal entry, then again, it’s kind of badass… “they all died on a dead mountain.” that really comes off like the beginning of some western where the lead character is some grizzled old cowboy who talks about his kill count. Shit, that’s sick…

Fuck… I’m not writing this for the sake of my own gratification, obviously. Doc said that letting all of my negative crap and putting it on paper is a good way to cope. I don’t know, it kind of helps but still kind of doesn’t.

That’s why I rarely do it.

Ah well.

Anyway, back to why I’m even writing this whole thing down right now; they all died on the dead mountain. I would say we all did, but that would be a lie. I am alive, and Davit is alive too. I could say our souls died there but that would be a lie as well, these have died way before. I've met Davit back during my service, turns out this Georgian hard-man didn't live far away from me and we apparently share the same love for nature exploration. I suppose our military experience is what ensured our survival.

I digress, my story might sound like some crazy conspiracy theory or some bullshit tale to anyone who might read it; if ever, but it's not. I went to Dyatlov's Pass with nine other people, and eight of them died. Ironically, they died probably the same way the infamous expedition had died so many years before us. As far as I'm concerned, only one person died because of extraordinary circumstances and to be perfectly honest; I'm not sure about that either. Something killed Andrey Belkin, a creature, but I wouldn't call it a supernatural creature. It was probably some sort of bear species or something. I hope it was one of those... yeah…

Ugh, I do have to mention something that might make a conspiracy theorist or the supernatural enthusiast drool all over themselves however, once we left Vizhai, the last settlement before our destination, the atmosphere in the area felt kind of weird. It’s like the air was kind of heavy and cold. Not the type of cold you get in cold weather but as if everything was devoid of life. If I had to compare it to anything, it’s like the aftermath of a battle on a battlefield. Everything is so cold and dead and nothing feels exactly right. It’s like you’re on another plane of existence. Like ugh… I don’t even know how to put this.

Now, maybe it’s just the northern climate that made me feel this way but I don’t really know. There was this one moment when we reached the foot of the Holatchahl during which everyone just kind of froze for a moment. We had this collective lapse in thought and we just stopped, looked at each other with confused looks in our eyes.

I remember saying that we all just must be still half asleep since this was the early morning and just like that we just carried on with our trip.

I don’t recall experiencing that feeling ever again, maybe we were just being collectively tired or maybe not. I don’t really know. For all I know, maybe this thing is just part of my imagination, I tend to get that from time to time… Not very pleasant to hear bombs going off where there are none.

regardless, I went to Holatchahl for the sake of an alpine hike; I wasn't there to explore the deaths of Dyatlov's expedition. I couldn't care less about that I was there to explore the nature of the Komi Republic. Going out in the middle of the winter was probably the bad part of that idea.

Now that I think about it, our troop and Dyatlov's troop share a bunch of similarities. Both groups had climbed on top of the dead mountain and couldn't really go anywhere else due to worsening weather conditions. Both groups probably experienced the same rare weather phenomenon, and both groups ended up losing people to the dead mountain.

It's named so in the Mansi language due to the lack of animal life on the mountain. Later translations of the name came to be "Dead Men's Mountain" due to the incident with Dyatlov's expedition.

I'm definitely rambling way too much here.

Anyway, the trip was meant to be a three-week expedition around the Stone Belt range of the northern Komi republic. It involved ten people; Andrey Belkin, Maxim Petrenko, Viktor Vilikiy, Alexandr "Shura" Semyonov, Pavel "Pasha" Daronin, Vladimir "Vova" Karyakin, Albert Slesorenko, Aslan Khabibalov, Davit "Dado" Ivanashvili and me Simeon "Syoma" Voronin. So, the ten of us reached the top of the Holatchahl right before a bad snowstorm began, forcing us to camp on the slope of the mountain. We quickly set up the camp and as it was getting late opted to go to sleep knowing full well how hard it is going to be to make our way through all the excess snow.

We were all pretty tired, so sleep came easily but I was awoken by the sound of moaning winds outside some time later. My sleep is pretty awful, I'll admit to that. I'm the lightest sleeper ever, probably. The moaning winds outside were so loud and violent they sounded like exaggerated ghosts wailing from the cartoons. I tried going back to sleep but the violent shifting of air outside of my tent made it virtually impossible for me to fall asleep so I ended up tossing and turning in my sleeping bag. As time wore on, I felt myself getting visibly agitated by the weather and my inability to fall asleep. At one point I started visualizing these cartoonish animated bedsheets walking around my tent moaning and wailing while creepily elated smiles were smeared on the lower part of their faces. My own thoughts made me shudder in discomfort.

Little did I know; I was beginning to panic.

Being used to this sort of feeling, I kept myself in check.

I can't say the same for the other guys, however, as I was trying to calm my sprinting thoughts, I heard someone screaming inside the tent; I shot up and saw Vova jumping out of his sleeping bag screaming for everyone to wake up. He was visibly shaken by something the rest of us couldn't see; his body was covered in a cold sweat and he was shaking nervously. He started shaking everyone awake and whispering about "something lurking outside."

Tears were welling up in his eyes, but it wasn't fear; he was having a full-blown panic attack.

When the guys were all awake enough to realize what was going on, they started showing signs of discomfort and anxiety as well.

"Go back to bed, you cunts, it's the wind", Dado shouted at the boys as he turned in his sleeping bags.

"The wind? Nah, something is out there fucking with us, Dado" Pasha retorted.

"What is fucking with us? The natives? There are no animals here… It's the fucking wind." Dado answered again.

"Bro, it can't be… can't be… the wind…" Viktor, who was usually overconfident, stuttered.

I began laughing; it hit me, my own anxiety and loopy thoughts were a result of the infrasound created by the winds outside. It was probably a Karman vortex street raging out there producing infrasound. "It's this sort of vortex thing, I forgot the name… It produces infrasound that causes you to hallucinate and shit."

"Yeah, listen to Syoma. He knows his shit," Dado blurted out in an agitated tone. "Just wear your goggles and plug your eyes to not feel the effects and go back to fucking sleep," he continued.

"What if it's not that?" Andrey sheepishly remarked.

Dado shot up, "Belkin, this isn't one of your videos, dude, there are no monsters in the real world… Cover your eyes and ears and go back to sleep."

We didn't like this side of Andrey; he was making YouTube videos considering various conspiracy theories, urban legends and the like. That was fine if he only kept it to himself but the guy began to believe in all that bullshit. Coupled with his whiney high-toned voice and the occasional smartass attitude, he wasn't the most well-liked guy in our group.

"Yeah, it's probably the ghosts of Dyatlov's troop trying to scare us into leaving their resting place…" Dado remarked sarcastically.

I burst out laughing.

No one else did, they were visibly terrified of something neither Davit nor I could see or comprehend for that matter. I could see in his demeanor that the wind was affecting him too, but he was used to hiding his internal storms just like me. He laid back down into his sleeping bag and remarked, "Don't tear the tent apart if you're going to run away from the menks outside, and try to find a heroic prince to save you princesses... okay?"

We all fell silent after that as Dado laid down again.

Nobody had spoken. We just sat there in silence as the winds outside moaned and groaned. All eyes were seemingly focused on me. They were widened with terror and bloodshot from the lack of sleep. I began feeling my skin crawl as everyone's eyes were seemingly focused on me. I felt as if they were staring straight into my soul, like a pack of hungry animals salivating at the prospect of pouncing on their helpless favorite prey animal.

I felt my heartbeat rising, even more than before, chills ran down my spine as my body simmered. A cold drop of sweat developed at the top of my head and slowly made its way down my forehead and then across my face but I did not dare to move. I was fixated on the malicious stares directed at me.

This awkward situation lasted about a second all in all, but in my panicked state, it felt like hours had passed.

The faces of my mates began contorting and twisting into impossibly wide smiles and vile expressions of what I can only describe as sadistic joy; sadistic joy at the expense of my fear.

I felt as if my heart was going to explode out of my ribcage and paint the whole tent with my blood.

The moment my ears were filled with some sort of unintelligible whispering I knew something was wrong. I blinked and my mates just set there in front of me staring into space; consumed by anxious thoughts, I blinked again and their heads turned to me producing a sickening crunching sound as their necks twisted and turned in my direction. Their faces were plastered with these disgusting clownish expressions of morbid delight as the whispering in my ears turned into muffled chanting.

I have blinked yet again, and they were back to their normal selves.

I clenched my eyes shut as I and began breathing deeply, trying to calm my rampaging nervous system. The infrasound was causing me to hallucinate. Four breaths in and I felt two frigid boney claws land on my shoulders sending shivers all over my back and arms.

"That's not real… it's just in your mind…" I told myself.

Thud

Something crashed producing a loud thumping sound, one so loud it even drowned the moaning of the vortex outside. It was so loud all of us were startled.

The guys began getting up and talking about something; I didn't pay enough attention to notice what they were saying. I was focused on the storm raging inside of my mind, everything outside sounded so meek and muffled.

I could make out one of the guys saying, "It's just the snow" but I've no idea whom it was.

By the time I felt I was calm enough to notice what was going on, most of the guys left the tent.

I shook myself out of my self-imposed meditative trance to notice that the tent was mostly empty, with Dado laying in his sleeping bag his eyes and ears covered, he was already asleep and Andrey who was making his way out of the tent.

He was barely dressed.

"I got up from my sleeping bag as he was making his way out, "The fuck you're going like that, man?"

He didn't respond.

"Andrey!" I called out as I ran towards tent's entrance, "Belkin, where are you going? Hey! Dude wait a moment!".

Nothing.

He just ran outside without even turning back to me.

For a moment I thought I'm hallucinating all over again, so I went to Dado and shook him awake. He removed his ear flaps and mumbled, "Sup?"

"Dude, did they all just leave or am I losing my shit?" I croaked.

He set up, removing his goggles and wiping his eyes before looking around our shelter.

"Shit!" he mumbled to himself.

The realization sank in, they all ran out, most of them were poorly dressed.

"Gotta get to them before they freeze to death…" I said.

"Aha…" Davit was already ahead of me, putting on an extra layer of pants on top of his pajama trousers.

We dressed as quickly as we could and ran out of the tent, hoping to see any one of the guys before it was too late.

Looking around frantically, we screamed the names of our mates, but no answer came. We started looking for some sort of a clue. Something; some sort of sign, maybe even a human shadow.

It took us almost thirty minutes to find footprints.

We had followed the prints for a couple of hundred meters before they were completely covered by the heavy snowfall.

"Fucking hell!" I angry shouted out.

Dado was laughing his ass off at something.

"What? What's so funny now?"

"Fucking Dyatlov's Pass… What a wretched place… hahaha"

"Dado, you're sick, brother…"

"You and me both Syoma, you and me both…" he chuckled.

That's when he stopped and pointed his finger up in the air, "did you notice that?" he asked me.

"The shadow? Yeah…"

Something ran not far behind us, casting an oddly shaped shadow.

We slowly turned around and started walking to our east. After, a few minutes of walking we were startled by some sort of whooping laughter. Something similar to a hyena but not quite it.

"The fuck?" I blurted out.

Davit pressed his finger to his mouth, gesturing me to remain quiet and then he pointed to the left. Following his finger, I saw Andrey walking towards something. Something that looked like a four-legged statue.

I nodded, and we quietly made our way towards Andrey, he was quite the distance away from us but we knew we could at least reach him and get him back to the tent and tend to him before something goes wrong.

Fifteen seconds after we started sprinting towards him. I could finally make out that thing he was walking towards. It wasn't a statue. It was a thing, some sort of animal. It looked like this emaciated bear thing with a terribly long gray fur dangling from its skinny frame. It looked like it was part of the snowstorm.

I tapped on Davit's shoulder and gestured him with my hands an F-bomb referring to the sight in front of us. His eyes widened, and he began running towards Andrey and the beast. I picked up my pace too.

When we were a few yards behind Andrey, we both shouted at the top of our lungs while still maintaining a safe distance, "Run, Run Belkin, Run the fuck away!"

The beast stared at us before releasing a paralyzing screech that sounded like a mix between the calls, a red-tailed hawk and the sounds emitted by a tire violently scrapping against an asphalt. It was so loud we both stopped and fell to our knees because the thing wouldn't stop screeching.

I felt like my brain was about to explode at any moment if this thing wouldn't stop.

As I set there clutching at my ears, screaming in agony, I felt something hit me from behind. The force of the blow was so powerful I felt myself fly a few feet into the air before landing roughly on the frozen ground below me.

Everything was blurry for a few moments once I hit the ground and then I blacked out.

I doubt I'd be sound enough to even write this if it weren't for the landing's impact on my head. What I've seen during these few short moments was probably worse than seeing a person getting blown up to bits and I've seen that. Unfortunately, I did that to someone.

When you're blown apart by a grenade, you don't get the displeasure of feeling pain. It's just way too quick. A nanosecond passes and everything is over. You're dead. As much as I didn’t like Belkin it points, the poor guy didn’t have the pleasure of going out fast enough to not feel a single thing. While his death was fairly quick, he probably felt a moment of two of hellish pain.

Anyway, in these few short moments, before I was out, though, I've seen what happened to Andrey Belkin; four of these animals ran up to him; and tore him apart like a paper doll, spilling his blood and viscera all over the snow. His death was a quick one, they had torn him apart completely, nobody survives that. Not to mention how one of these things grabbed him by the neck and tore his head off… He had been probably dead before he even got to feel most of the pain, and even the little that he did feel probably felt worse than anything I could handle.

Ugh… just thinking about it makes me feel sick to my stomach.

That's why I have never told anyone about that until now.

You know, when you kill for the first time, you're so nervous and shaken and disgusted and everything just kind spins around you and everything is so weird and confusing and ugh… I can't even put that feeling into words.

It's something like being thrown into super cold water or going on the craziest roller coaster ever but not in a good sense…

It's just like everything you knew just goes to shit… and it's not a feeling you are going to feel ever again, because eventually we humans, we get used to killing en masse if we need to. You feel like you're a changed person like you see things in a different light, but that's a fleeting feeling, eventually, everything becomes a routine.

Yeah things back home for people like me become different but eventually, it's all the same; you're the same piece of organic waste, and you're the same person, with more shit on your plate… That's all.

Ugh… fuck, I'm rambling… I guess that's a coping mechanism.

I guess remembering Belkin's death felt just like the first time I had to put a bullet into someone and I don't like feeling that.

Anyway, I was awoken by Davit sometime later, and we were all alone in the snow.

No Andrey Belkin, no monsters, no blood.

Nothing.

We didn't speak about what took him; we just avoided this conversation ever since.

I gather that Dado didn't try to fight these things away from Belkin; he knew he had no chance against them.

I don't blame him, really.

We looked around for the other guys for some time and when the sun began rising and we hadn't found anyone we made our way back to the camp and from there we got back to Vizhai.

A search party was organized once we've explained the incident to the locals. It included me and Dado. We ended up finding the bodies of everyone… took us a few weeks to get to Shura and Max because they somehow ended up on the other side of the mountain, covered in the aftermath of a minor landslide. Everyone was found, everyone but Andrey Belkin.

Turns out Slesorenko’s backpack was found a hundred meters from where his body rested. No clue why he took it with him when they all ran out... but then again, he had a flashlight and about a million batteries in there. His journal was there too… He liked writing stuff down.

It fucking shameful he had to go so early, the man was a brilliant mind… what a fucking waste! shit!

I hate this, I hate this so fucking much.

God!

We let one of the search party members keep his diary, lovely lady she was so why not. Said she’ll spread our story for us.

Ah Jesus, I’m digressing again, Dado and I know exactly what happened to him, to Belkin, that is.

My thoughts are all over the place, fucking hell.

On my last night at Vizhai, I took a hike in the town, I was just thinking about all that had happened and how this could've been prevented if only they listened, or rather if we tried to convince them a little harder to protect their sensory organs. Anyway, as I was walking around; snow began blowing again and a burst of familiar laughter rolled in the distance making me freeze in place.

I turned slowly to the source of the diabolical vocalizations and saw it; it was standing showered in the moonlight. This wretched beast stood in front of me and stare right into my core. I could finally make out its shape properly.

The beast had a thin frame coated by a heavy gray fur coat hanging from its emaciated body. Everything was pretty much covered up by the coat and if it weren't for the wind that blew apart the tense coating of the creature, I wouldn't be able to see its skeletal frame. After a few moments of staring at each other; a gust of wind finally blew the patch of fur covering the beast's head apart revealing its disgusting dolphin-like mug. Our eyes locked for but a second. Its white eyeballs stared at me unblinking, making me feel almost physically as it let out its laughing calls and then the beast turned around and walked away fading into the snow.

A wave of discomfort washed all over me, making me shudder… That made me realize that perhaps it wasn't the wind on top of Holatchahl that caused all of this, maybe it was the fault of these things that live in Dyatlov's Pass. Perhaps these are the Menks that the Mansi myths speak of, but I do hope this is just some sort of crazy undiscovered bear species, I can't know for sure but what I do know for certain is this was the reason at least one man died on the dead mountain.

Did writing this down help me? Absolutely not! I still think I have a part in their deaths and quite frankly the memories memories made me feel sick. I’m gonna stop now before I blow up again.

God damn this, God damn every single thing about this… I’m done with this sort of shit.