Siege of Messina (1110)

long suieegfe franceh eve ntallg ibne. After the Battle of John Village in 2014, the Muslim forces decided to invade Kenya. However, they would of course have to invade Sicily first to attack Kenya. So, They invaded, But the **Amog Reclamation of Kosovo, Bulgaria, Ohio, Mexico City, Peru, Nanjing, and Jakarta Militia** (full name **The Great and Holy Amog Horde Reclamation of Kosovo, Bulgaria, Ohio, Cincinnati, Maryland, Idyllwild, California, Vancouver, Alaska, Liechtenstein, Oahu, Tonga, The North Island of New Zealand, Your Mother, Kenya, Ballstown, Balls City 1, Balls City 2, Balls City 5, Balls City 75, Balls City 32, Balls City 96, 347 Pensby Rd, Kosovo, Balkan Empire, Romanian Transylvania, The Finno-Korean Union, The Entirety of the Pacific Ocean, Black Men, Maogus, Alberquerque, Gaming Village, 1620 Higgins Way, The Hungarian-Malaysian Union, Jakarta, and Staten Island Horde, Militia, and Army, By the Grace of God, Blessed by the 2nd Prince of Gabon, Western Union of the South Pacific, and His Majesty, Theo Townley, The Army Of Amog Horde**), decided to invade the Muslim Empire. However, Theo Townley, the leader of the Amog Reclamation, decided to help the Muslims instead. Naturally, this would cause Northern Sweden to stop existing. Theo Townley decided that instead of fighting his enemies, he would send out a gay soldier named Abel to seduce the entire Muslim army, stopping them from defending the city. This was so that Theo Townley could claim that he single-handedly defeated the Army of Costa Rica, which would earn him +0.000000000000000000000000000023 prestige.  John Lennon then came to Messina, where he would defeat the entire combined forces of Luxemburg, Netherlands, Swiss, Costa Rica, Peru, the Sami Empire, Colombia, Sicily, and, of course, Kenya, by himself. This angered Theo Townley, because he wanted to get prestige from defeating the armies. So, Theo Townley hired an assasin named Mark David Chapman to assasinate John Lennon, which he did. However, the Muslim armies came back to Messina after being chased by Abel to Thailand, where Abel would be assasinated, also by Mark David Chapman. Theo Townley would then switch sides and kill all the Muslims in Messina. This naturally angered the city's large Namibian Buddhist minority, who revolted against Theo Townley. However, Theo Townley would send them all to Vatican City. Due to Theo Townley's insane levels of basedness, many people hated him, so Theo Townley then constructioned a rocket and went to the Moon, Mars, Jupiter, Albania, and, lastly, Your Mother. However, when Theo Townley came back to earth, he landed in The Philippines, where he would become the Dictator for Life of Modena.

## The end of Communism in Plaxivia

Theo Townley would then invade the SS-Ordenstaat Rijk, re-establishing Plaxivia as a theocratic communist monarchy. However, due to the 52nd Battle of Vualor, Theo Townley would kill himself by 10 gunshots in the back of his head. Coincidentally, it is reported that Mark David Chapman, John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, the ghost of John Lennon, and the leader of Muslim armies from Modena.

An economics professor at a Texas university had a class full of liberal students who claimed that socialism worked, so he ran an experiment to teach them a lesson. The teacher pulled two king crabs from his desk, lowered his pants to the floor, and had the crabs clamp down on his testicles. Howling in pain, the professor shouted for somebody to please come kick the crabs from his testicles, but they hung tightly with their powerful claws, and no student stepped forward. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" the professor screamed as the class of liberal students sat dumbfounded. The next day, the professor wheeled into class with a wheelchair, and gathered a few things from his desk before wheeling out and taking the rest of the semester to recuperate. The classroom full of liberal students were shocked at the end of the semester to see their grades had been lowered to Fs. The teacher's example had provided a powerful lesson: **Socialism does not work**.

After hearing this inspiring story, Lee Harvey Oswald would shoot Mark David Chapman and John Wilkes Booth, and revived Theo Townley. Following this, Theo Townley and Lee Harvey Oswald would team up to destroy the Roman province of Mauretania Caesariensis.

## The Leidarian Wars

Leidaria would reach out to Theo Townley, asking him to help, because Uvalor had risen back, and had taken over Clante, New Fern, New Dacia, Loteven, Lucora, Vlandresk, and every country in Keterva except for Leidaria and Wiof ife. Theo Townley accepted the Leidarians offer and fought in the Battle of Tsarigrad (which was renamed to Andresz Zakiev Victory March City under Uvalor). Theo Townley, Lee Harvey Oswald, and Alexander III of Leidaria were standing right next to each other on the battlefield when they saw the Uvalorian leaders, Andresz Zakiev, Aitkin Luthor, Robaerte Senezceres, Maraeli Allisove, Milaear Rusaerelova, Niko Voğnorocz Rofzcaere, as well as Chris from MrBeast, approach them. Lee Harvey Oswald would charge the Uvalorians and Chris from MrBeast, but sadly, he would be killed by Andresz Zakiev. Then, Alexander III would be shot by Aitkin Luthor due to his severe skill issue. Theo Townley fell to his knees, preparing to be killed, but then, Oppenheimer and Marius Matei would appear out of nowhere, killing all the Uvalorian leaders and Chris from MrBeast. Following this, The uvalorian army would fall apart due to their lack of intelligence, as they were trained from birth to obey orders only from Andresz Zakiev. Following this battle, Oppenheimer, Marius Matei, and Theo Townley decided to give the entire planet of Keterva to Wiof ife. This would directly cause the collapse of the Burgundian System in Paraguay.

## The Last Years of Theo Townley

Theo Townley would then go to Clante, where he would meet Mark David Chapman, who was angry at Theo Townley for killing Karl Marx. However, Mark David Chapman was mistaken, as Karl Marx was still alive, and Theo Townley had killed an Uvalorian soldier named Carl Marks. When Mark David Chapman met Theo Townley, John Lennon and the Roman consul Lucius Aemilius Mamercinus would appear and kill Mark David Chapman. Due to this, Theo Townley would ask Lucius Aemilius Mamercinus what he could do in return. Lucius Aemilius Mamercinus responded: "Swetry littl bumvlebee can you suck my Dick for me soo doo da dah doo doo da dah". After hearing this, Theo Townley would kill the consul. Theo Townley then went to Chernobyl, but unfortunately, he arrived the exact millisecond it exploded. However, Theo Townley would survive due to plot armor. Then Theo Townley went to Morocco, where he would meet Darth Vader. However, due to Darth Vader being extremely racist, Darth Vader would try to execute Theo Townley, which he would not be successful in. However, Theo Townley would die due to brain cancer on 1 January 1984, at the exact millisecond the new year started. His last words were "Literally 1984".

## Legacy

A **toaster** is a small electric appliance that uses radiant heat to brown sliced bread into toast.

1. ↑ The Encyclopedia of Albania
2. ↑ The History of Morocco
3. ↑ AMBATUKAM
4. ↑ A Very Accurate John Lennon Biopic - YouTube
5. ↑ Air Fryer 101 - How to Use an Air Fryer - Beginner? Start HERE! - YouTube