Roll To Acquiesce

## Description

*Editor's Note - While this episode is very funny, Guy and Tom play two adventurers trying their very best to comedically end their lives. If that's something you're not going to enjoy, maybe give this episode a miss.*

With the season's minor boss shouldering in the room behind them, the Dragon Friends are stuck in the middle of the Old Hill Sanatorium with alarm bells ringing. Their only chance for escape lies with an unlikely pair of twin brothers whose assistance might prove invaluable, despite their best intentions.

## Synopsis

Lionshield Banknote has just thrown multiple beads from his Necklace of Fireballs at Minister Scarrow, immolating him; Bobby Pancakes narrowly manages to escape from the burning audience chamber. Outside the chamber he is met by Table - a Goliath - and Chair, a 5' tall pigeon. Chair explains that he and his brother are seeking to die in battle, which will allow them to ascend to paradise. Bobby explains that since they frequently fight there will be plenty of opportunities if they come with them, just as Baston and Philge arrive. They only have a brief chance for introduction before Blensley arrives, having recovered from being knocked out by Philge.

Baston mentions that they are seeking to overthrow the evil cult, and Blensley regretfully points out that this means he will have to apprehend them, before Bobby announces that they have also killed Minister Scarrow. Blensley pulls out his alarm whistle but, before he can sound it, Baston bonks him on the head and knocks him out again. Searching his body, Chair finds a set of prayer beads devoted to Ilmartyr, a key, and the whistle; Chair blows the whistle anyway, causing alarm whistles to sound all around the sanitorium. Baston sees that one of the gargoyles decorating the corridor has its eyes covered, as referred to by Father Brackenvald; he uncovers the eyes, causing a secret staircase upwards upwards to appear. The Friends, Table and Chair all rush through as Bobby hurriedly re-covers the gargoyle's eyes and darts into the closing secret door.

At the top of the stairs is a spacious but empty office containing regular furniture, a desk covered in letters from Scarrow to the "Archopontiff of the Silent Court" and a book; but also a steel table on which lies a corpse. As Bobby realizes that the book is a guide to making flesh golems, the corpse on the table rises. Baston wraps the sheet that was covering the golem around its head, blinding it, while Philge hits it in the kneecaps with her warhammer. Chair deliberately attempts to allow the golem to slam him in the head, which it does, and Bobby throws the book at the golem. Table rushes up to the golem and attempts to give it his sword; the golem fails to strike Table with the sword. Baston slices the golem's legs and the pain drives it berserk; Philge pulls the sheet off the Golem's head and fails to strangle him with it.

Chair decides to cast a random spell on a random target and ends up casting *Invisibility* on the Flesh Golem. Seeing the Golem disappear, the Friends and Table believe for a moment that Chair has disintegrated the golem, before the desk is mysteriously flipped across the room. Bobby picks up the inkwell from the desk and starts to throw ink around the room, staining the golem's arm; the invisible golem attacks Table and Chair, wounding them both. Baston also attempts to help reveal the golem by throwing soot from the fireplace around the room, successfully catching it in a cloud of soot and rendering it visible. Philge frantically waves her flail and maul around the room, striking the golem.

Chair decides to cast at random again and casts *Magic Mouth* on Bobby Pancakes, implanting him with a message to be magically delivered; and Bobby shoots the golem with his crossbow, killing it. As the sounds of approaching alarm whistles get louder, Baston identifies a teleportation circle scribed on the floor. Table rests his legs in the circle as Chair activates, tearing off both of his legs but also cauterising the wounds, but Philge points out that this may mean he will not have his legs when he goes to heaven. Philge and the others jump into the teleportation circle and Bobby remotely activates it using a Mage Hand; as he does, Chair puts his head out of the circle, beheading himself as the rest of his body and the rest of the group are teleported away.

## Cast

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Bobby Pancakes
* Baston
* Lionshield Banknote

### NPCs

* Table, suicidal Goliath
* Chair, suicidal Aaracokra with his arms surgically melded into his wings

## Themes, Tropes and Running Jokes

* Snippy Snippy, Hugh: During the combat sequence, Ben asks for an edit to hide the fact The Dragon Friends briefly forgot how to count. It is ignored. A post-credits snippet also reveals some cut skittles related shenanigans

## Trivia

* Only the *second* Episode in which the Dragon Friends actually roll initiative.

## Quotes

* "How many experience points does a minor boss give?" "You level up, you motherfucker."
* "Death follows us like a puppy that knows we have sausages in our pants, always. Which we do, for some reason."