Donkey, Please

Donkey, Please

www.fanfiction.net

(my original fanfic got
deleted but here is the reuploaded one so the wording in the first chapter is a
little different... I have risen. the original fanfic was uploaded during late
2013)(donkey, please a shrek fanfic. WARNING! There is smut!
;))))))))))))))))))))

It was a typical
afternoon at shrek's swamp, peaceful and smell like ONION! Fiona was out for
the day which left shrek kinda sad….and lonely. Because shrek was so lonely he
cut an onion in half and then put it on his nipples. Shrek let out a soft moan,
then there was an unexpected knock at the door! Shrek was surprise.

"Oh! There is a
visitor?" shrek said as he put his shirt back on.

Shrek got up from the
couch and walked over to the door and opened it. Donkey was at the door!

"D-Donkey!"
shrek said with surprise "No Donkey you have to get out of here! I am a
married man!111"

Donkey didn't really care
so he just ran past shrek and hopped on the couch.

"Donkey! NO! you
have to get out of me swamp RITE NOW," shrek said angrally.

Donkey slipped off his
silky sheer red dress.

"DONKEY! NO! I AM A
maRRYED MAN!" said shrek.

DOnkeey ran over to shrek
and pulled down shreks pants to reveal shreks MASSIVE BEAR COCK!

"D..donkey-chan…WAYT
I AM NOT HOMO!" said shrek.

Donket didn't really give
a heck so he just pushed shrek on the couch and started riding.

"OH! OH DOnKEY! ZOO
WEE MAMA!" said shrek.

Donkey continued to ride
shreks shibbity woop diggity dong talywacker(i will NOT say the d word!)

"Ohhhh YA
MMMMmmmmmMMMMMm ONion!" said shrek.

"oh! wOWZA
mmmmmmmmmmmmm OH OH SO BIG!" said donkey.

Srek push off the donkey
and say "I will go get onion!"

Donkey get up and suck
shreks onions from behind! ;))))

"Oooooooh! DONK
donk!" said shrek.

Everything is all dandy
and oniony until Fiona walked in.

Fiona GASPED!

"Shrek!? What the
frick frickity frack freak frack!?" said fioner

Shrek did not notice since
he was getting his onions sucked. Fiona left and went to the donkeys wife's
house(the dragon remember?)

Fiona open the door!

"DRAGON!" said
Fiona "our husbands are cheating on us!...with each other! We need to do
something!"

The dragon nods and go
gets some sexy undies on. Fiona takes off her dress and jiggles her lady lumps,
hte dragon also puts on a strap-on. ;) Fiona takes off her pantays and starts
riding the dragon!(Ooooh gettin revenge!)

"RAWRRRRRRRR!
ROAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!" said the dragon(the dragon can't talk right?)

"MMMMMMMMmmmmmMMMMMMMmmMmMmMmMmMmMm!...MMMmmm
YES!" Fiona moaned.

Fiona ride the dragon for
like 10 minutes until shrek and donket arrive…

"FIOna!1! YOU ONION
LOVING FRICK!" said shrek.

"I regrot
nothing!" said Fiona.

to be continue….

et a
little craZy and ride shrek, an Eat OnIOn. I will write moar.
;))))))))))))))))))

Rated: Fiction M -
English - Romance/Adventure - Shrek, Donkey, Lord Farquaad, Princess Fiona -
Chapters: 14 - Words: 11,964 - Reviews: 232 -
Favs: 27 - Follows: 18 - Updated: Mar 22, 2016 - Published: Sep 3, 2014 - id:
10668598

+  -

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>

shrek cry. Then shrek take a onion out of his lederhosen, take
bite, then throw at fionas onion luvin cheatin ugly face.

"OUCH MY PENIS!" fionna scream.

everyone gasp with amuse.

"ayyy man just kid." Said fionONIONLOVERa.

"ooooooooooooooh" say everyone.

"fIONNA WHY THE DING DONG WOULD YOU chat! on mE!"

FIONNA slap shrek.

"You cheat on me first."

Fionaa cry.

"Oh bae I didn't mean dat! It was donket! I swar!."

"IM GONNA dUCkING(f word is bad!) CUT OFF UR NIPPLES SHREK!"

"me and shrekipie r in love fionna, I rode his massive jimmy
john wiggity wager silly willy." Say donker!

"donkey!" say tha Scottish shrek.

Fiona cry more.

"fion I sorry." Say shrek

"I will shov dis strap on up ur ass, shrek." Say the
dragon?

Whoa say everyone.

"who a u can talk? Yeehaw?" said donket.

"I WILL SHOVE THIS strap ON UP SHREKS Ass AND RUPTURE HIS
ANUS!" roar the dragon.

Fion cry a lot.

bring me 2 life by evanescence u know the wake me up song? As
dramatic backround music.

"oh WAKE ME UP from dis nightmare." Say Fiona.

"im feeling very…***homosexual***…."
Confess the donkety as he put the strap of his silky sheer red dress back on
his shoulder.

"what?' say the dragon.

"me gay." Said donkey. "I like dildo in butt."

Dragon cry.

Shrek and fion gasp.

"I luv shrek….." confess d0nkey.

Shrek gasp more and put onion on nipple.

Wake me up(wke me up inside)

dragon cry.

Donkey wrap his arms around shrek.

"i love shrek" say donket.

Lord farquaad walk in wif his BIG ass head.

"no homo allowed11!" yell lord farquaad.

Every1 gasp!

to be continue…

Donkey, Please

www.fanfiction.net

(hello all my loyal fanz,
welcum 2 another chapter of 'donkey, please' this has lot of drama with lord
farquaad. enjoy. thank.)

Lord farquaad take off
shirt and shimmy to the gang.

"see this?" say
lord farquaad "this is homo. What u are."

"GET OU OF HERE
LOSER FARQUAAD!" say donket

"no! I have come
here to tell u that there is NO HOMO allowed in this citay"

"please accept my
onions and leave!" said shrek.

"hah no way bro im
not gay" say farquaad

"no not THOSE
onions" say shrek.

lord farquaad blushes.

"FARQUAAD GO SUCK A
BIG DONG AND LEAVE" say Fiona.

"maybe i will!"
say lord farquad.

Ever1 gasp

"farquaad r u
homo?" ask shrek.

"well I do love a
man in leather." Say farquaad.

shrek blush as his eyes
widen. donket get jealous.

"UM YA NO THIS IS MY
MAN MR BIG FAT HEAD SMALL DINGALONG." donkey yell

"ACTUALLY I AM
MARRIED TO SHREK YOU ONION FUCKER." fiona say

"remember when i had
a crush on u fiona? lol." say lord farquaad.

"Fuck you,
farquaad" said fiona.

Donkey slips off his
silky sheer red dress once again, along with his lacy floral panties.

everyone gasp.

"I had a tingle
tingle." say donker

"I will go get us
pickle juice martinis ;)" say shrek. as he turn to walk to the kitchen
it's now well known that he's wearing ***ass-less chaps***

"how tha fuk did we
have sex ur dinky doo is tiny as heck." say the dragon as she exits, and
go to the bar(remember? the one with the ladyman)

shrek cum back with the
martinis, and hand one to lord farquaad and donker. Shrek notice that donkety
is nekkid(naked is bad word) and blushes.

fiona cry and go to the
bar too. shrek sigh

"Lets get this party
started ;)" say donket

wat will happen next?
will shrek give in to the dong? to be continued...

Donkey, Please

www.fanfiction.net

(haha! after a loong wait
i hav another chap, lol thx enjoy. -~smut warning-)

"i need to get
ready" say shrek as he squats.

"were r the anal
beads and fruity loops" say donker

lord farquaad blush and
take off his shirt, now revealing a strange bandage wrapped around his chest.

"um i have a
confession..." said lord farquaad

"oh u can tell me
anythong" say donkety ;)

"..."

lord farquaad unwrap the
bandage...sumthing jiggle out

"i got...***breast***
implants***" say lord farquaad.***

shrek and donk donk gasp.

"I have a confession
too..." said shrek "i-i...i got my dong enlarged

donkeyt and lord farquaad
gasp!

shrek pulls down his
moist trousers and ass-less chaps.

"Its now a whopping
1 foot." say shrek.

"well that's alright
with me ;)" say donket

Lord farquaad cannot
handle this anymore, the arousal, the temptation, he starts rubbing his ROCk
HARD nipples and lets out a soft moan.

shrek and donkety look at
lord farquaad with a sensual look in their eyes..shrek starts jacking his foot
long dong.

"i wanna stick my
weiner in your mouth, such a strong jaw line," said Shrek.

Lord Farquaad bends over
and smacks his own double d butt. Shrek goes over and gayly pulls down lord
Farquaads pants. Revealing his flamingo pink thong, he softly touches it, as
soft as silk, and pulls the sexy thong down. Shrek puts both hands on Lord
Farquaads pale ass, having some regret. He thinks of the time he saved the
beautiful princess Fiona from the castle, the first time he set his eyes on her
eyes as blue as crystal clear waters. Her auburn hair, and determined attitude.
When she gave herself to him, turning into an ogre, giving up the royal
lifestyle, all for him. Shrek thinks to himself...

"HAHA LOL. FOR
SCOTLAND!" SHREK JABS HIS FOOT LONG DONG INTO LORD FARQUAADS ANAL REGION.
NO LUBE.

"OH MY ANUS! THAT IS
ONE GIANT DIBBLY DOO DONGITY" say lord farquaad.

shrekk thrust lots. Fiona
still on his mind.

"STOP" say
donkety

shrek releases his donger
and say "WAT"

Donkeyt get behind shrek.

"Train," say
donkeyy. Donkey shoves his memeber in shreks bum bum.

"uhuHUHUHUHuhuHuHuhUhUhUhUHuHuHuHuhuhhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
say shrek as he re-enters Lord farquaad

they all continue this
train for like 20 minutes...until it becomes a *trainwreck*. shrek falls
to the ground from exhaustion.

"zoo wee mama"
say shrek.

"omg im not
homo." say lord farquaad. he cry.

"u r now. \*eddie
murphy laugh\*" say donk donk.

-i miss u/slipped away by
avril lavigne play as dramatic music. play it lol.-

Shrek cry.

Donkey cuddles shrek.

"wats wrong, hunny
boo." say donket

" I cant just let
fiona ***slip away***" say shrek

to continue...

(welcum back to donkey, plz. here a good
chap its gonna be sexy fun)

www.fanfiction.net

~~~~~~~~back at the
bar~~~~~

At the bar is dragon and
fiona, they both cry. The bar is calm and quiet except for prince charming
playing his sax omg why.

"why would that HO
HO donkey steal me man?" said fiona as cried.

"uh wow fiona you
are too good for him, right? roars the dragon.

"ya ur right"
say fiona as she nods. im gonna get so turnt up!"

"ya lets do it u
sexy beast!" says prince charming he cum out of nowhere.

"oh my god prince
charming go away, you have aids!" said fiona angrally!

The big bad wolf gives
prince charming a smug look and does that hamo gay pssssh thing.

"Fiona my love!
"

Prince charming saxes it
out.

"Man I can't resist
a man with a sax!" fiona bites her lip! "wait...no prince charming go
away you're gay"

"but fiona im head
over heels for you!" said prince charming.!

"ew nobody can be
that flexible get a life omg!"

The Big bad wolf GAYLY
walks over to fiona and prince charming.

"Prince charming you
better back the fuck off before I lactate the hell outta those nips" sayy
the wolf as he snaps.

"NO FURRIES
ALLOWED!" says the man lady bar person.

"Oh honey," say
the wolf as he bends over(dong wiggling) "furries get the party
started" the wolf shakes it(you kno!)

Neon lights flash and
'Get out of my swamp by Tom m.c. and Shrek ft. Skrill'(look it up on youtube
omg) plays and people dance.

Dragon, Prince charming,
and Fiona gasp! the man lady bar tender is surprise!

"Fiona lets get buck
wild," said the Dragon.

"Oh this is my jelly
jam. Shrek is so stern," say fiona as she chug some sexy vodka, "this
is...***SHREKTACULAR***"

"Get ogre here sexy
boy!" says the hamo wolf.

Prince Charming hops over
to the wolf with moist...SOGGY pants. prince charming and the wolf grind!

"Oh my!" say
prince charming. " I feel alive and free and moist!"

The wolf twerks on prince
charming's dong area.

"oh my i am aroused!
said prince charming.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY
SWAMP

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY
SWAMP

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY
SWAMP

Prince charming stops
grinding and scoops the furry wolfs butt. The wolf stops grinding and turns to
charming.

"Your nips r
shrektastic. Let's do it...***anal style***" say the wolf.

Charming blush...it
appears that hes already naked.

"right here right
now.***anal style***, yes." says charming.

Charming bends over.

"***no lube***"
say Charming.

The wolf gasp! Then stick
his ERECTING shibbity do wop wop dogitty cuckity doo shabba labba ding dong in
charming ***anal style***.

"Whoa that is
interesting anal! SO DRY" say Charming

And boy was he right it
was as dry as overcooked chicken. this last like 1 minute.

"Wow that was
steaming" say charming

"ya i love ***anal***
style***" say the wolf***

"Wow prince charming
u hit on me then be hamo?" fiona cry " why is everyone gey!"

"Fion a nOOOOOOO! I
like u!" say charming

Fiona slap charming!

Prince charmings mother
comes into the bar!

"WAT IS ALL OF
THIS!" she say!

The music is turned off
and everyone gasps! Charmings mother flys over to fiona(like a lil bich lol).

"WHY WONT U LOVE MY
SON YOU FOOL!"

"because...I still
love shrek..."

wow that is intense! to
be continue...

Donkey, Please

www.fanfiction.net

(here a nother chapter
already! there will be drama!)

~~~~~~back with shrek,
donkey, and fukquaad~~~~~~

"forget about fiona,
shrek." says donkery as he grabs ahold of shreks soft penis.

But Shrek couldn't get
Fiona out of his head. She was his wife, donkey sang that whole song at his
wedding. They were bros...until donker came to his swamp with his silky...sheer
red dress. Shrek never thought Donkeyy would ever have intentions like that!
This room is just full of regret...a trainwreck

"I can't be
homo!," said Farquaad as he cries.

"Oh girl, by the
look of your trimmed eyebrows and frilly suit and think everyone knows that you
like dong," said Donkety.

"is it because im a
4 incher," said Farquaad

~~~~~~~~~back at the
bar~~~~~~~~~~

"I love shrek! i
wont be with your son! hes gey!" said fiona.

"My son? Gay!?
Pffft! No homo is allowed around here," said Charming's mother.

"well your son just
had anal style with that wolf!"

Charming's mother gasped
with disbelief. Charming was so turned on just hearing about anal style that he
grabbed the head of his dong and started jacking(just the tip)

"Gasp! Charming!
This is so inappropriate and homo! hamo is sin!" says charmings mother as
she flies the heck outta there. Fiona also leaves to see the cheating ogre
shrek with some...intentions.

~~~~~back with
shrek~~~~~~~~~~

Fiona storms into the
place . With her sharp grown pinky nail out. Everyone gasp!

"When in doubt,
pinky out"say fiona.

"I'm not homo! Just
a little bit of a train ride I swear! And-"

Before Farquaad can say
anymore Fiona cuts his dong in half! From a 4 incher to a 2 incher.

Everyone gasp!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
MY MASSIVE DONG!" Farquaad screeches.

Mmmmm whatcha say? Mmm
that you only meant well? Well of course you did. Mmm whatcha say? (Whatcha say
whatcha say) Mmm that it's all for the best? Of course it is.

Farquaad slowly falls to
the floor. Farquaad takes a breath and looks directly looks at Fiona.

"When in doubt jack
it out," says Farquaad as he whips his hand out.

Fiona gasps and stares at
his hand in shock.

"No!" Fiona
screams.

Lord Farquaad lands his
hand on his blood erecting member and jacks off like there's no tomorrow! Goes
so hard that the friction smokes up his dong. And little did Fiona know
Farquaad was blessed with a healing hand! Lord Farquaads dong may not be as
long but it fits in his thong, it magically got restored.

Mmm whatcha say? Mmm that
you only meant well? Well of course you did. Mmm whatcha say? (Whatcha say?
Whatcha say?) Wh-wh-wh-what did she say?

"Oh my, it's
microscopic!" said Fiona.

"That won't fit in
my mouth," said donkr.

"Its smaller than a
strip of onion layer!" say the scottish yodel shrek.

How could I live with
myself. Knowing that I let our love go? And ooh, what I'd do for one chance. I
just gotta let you know.

"FiON!" shout
shrek! " I love u!"

"Oh honey u got the
wrong idea shrek is mine, we do anal together!" donkey say

"I have a sudden
urge too...too...listen to my chemical romance," say farquaad.

everyone gasp!

to be continue...

Donkey, Please

www.fanfiction.net

(rolf lmao welcum back 2
donkr, please... this will be good chap. enjoy and jack(off)

"mcr?" say
shrek, "that is a gay emo band for fgts"

"im not okay,
sork..." say lord fukwruaad.

"well you better be
okay with doing anal style," say donket

"donky! this is
serious!" say shrok

Lord fukquaad cri a bit.

"why are cry?"
say shrek.

"YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND SHORK!" say lord farquaad.

every1 gasp!

"I AM NOT
HAMO!" say lord farquaad, " THAT IS VERY A SIN!"

The big bad wolf walks
in.

"Oh honey, you gots
it all wrong," say the big bad wolf "homo is not a sin, it is
in."

every1 gasp!

"Hey crazy kids,
meow," say wulf "fiona why did u leave the party?"

"i had to cut lord
fukquaads wanggy"

The BIG BAD wolf moans.

"Uhhhnnnggg. just
talking about wanggys makes me salami nopples hard and moist," say wulf

"thats gay" say
everyone

"whutever! i will
destroy all homos!," say lord farquaad " i will make an army of hamo
destroyers! bye nerds, im gonna go listen to fall out boy." say lord
fukquaad.

Lord farquaad leaves.

Donket cries salty tears.

"oh shek, i should
of got out of your swamp!," say donkr

Shrek was shocked.
Although this relationship with donkety wasn't supposed to happen he still felt
hurt when this words came out of donkrs mouth.

"donkr. I'm glab you
came into my swamp," say shrek.

Shrek cry.

"i will scratch your
dong in half too, shrk." say fiona!

Shrek looks away in
confusion. He doesn't kknow how to feel! He doesn't know if he wants to live
the homo life or not...becuz that is a siN!

"fiona!
i...i..." say sork

donket punches fiona
across her onion loving face!

everyone gasp!

"Oh honey! Yous be
acting liek a little bitch. Why don't you go suck a large onion! Oh wait that
probably wouldn't fit in your mouth cause u never give large blow j to shek
like i do!" say donket

everyone gasp again!

"Wow ur sassy let's
have saxx(the reel word is bad! a sin!)" say the big bad wolf

"Oh my lord
farquaad! you ARE ALL SUPER GAAY! THAT IS VERY SIN! AGAINST FARQUAADS RULES! HE
WILL CUM HERE AND SLAY YOU ALL!" say fion! "hah bye losers im going
to go join lord faukquaads hamo destroying army"

Fiona leaves.

Shrek cry.

"babe why do you
cry? forget fiona she blows hard dongger." say donky

"What is this
donkey...why...that day you came to my swamp wearing that dazzling ***silky...SHEER***
red dress ***and you rode my massive bear wangy and suck my onion. no***
lube. why? this is all a mess cause of that day." say shrek.

Donkey kisses shreks soft
pale forest green lips. Shrek gasps.

"Shrek." said
donkr as he grabbed shrek's large greasy hand. "I love you."

"D-donket-chan..."
said the aroused ogre as his massive 1 footer rised.

"s-sherk...i...i...i
im pregnont!" say the anxious donkey.

shrek gasp!

to be continue...

Donkey, Please

www.fanfiction.net

(hi! srry for tha long
wait my mom found my fanfic and took away my computer! so she starved me! and
only let me drink holy water becuz of all the sin i committed.
anyways...enjoy!)

"d-d-d-d—d-onker!"
say the worried ogre.

"you're gonna be a
father, shrek! \*eddie murphy laugh\*" say donket

The gingerbread man
enters the room and appears to be wearing something...interesting.

"SHREK!
DONKETA!" yell the dashing gingerbread man.

"g..g...GING!"
gasp shrek, "what are you doing here!?"

It is now revealed that
the gingerbread man is wearing a dazzling low-cut SPARKLING flowing periwinkle
dress.

"Oh...OH SORK! I
need...I need...A ***HERO***!" say gingerbread man.

"Wow okay you better
back the heck off of my man shek with ur tiny gumdrop dong," said the
jealous donket.

"d...donker-chan..nevermind!
gingerbread man what is the matter?" says the concerned shrek as he gets
on his knee and squeezes the gingerbread man's only exposed gumdrop.

The gingerbread man looks
slightly offended by donkets comment but let's it slide because he has
something more important to discuss.

"psh...wow...your voice
is so soothing, shrek.." says the slightly moist gingerbread man.

Shrek blush and donker
does the hamo gay(sorry so sinful) psh thing.

"But, shrek! Lord
Farquaad is set to destroy all hamos!"

shrek and donket gasp!

Shrek blush.

"B-but...ginger...how
did you know?" say shek.

"Shrek I think
everyone can tell that you're gay homo..." ginger blush "well
considering you wear those leathery ***ass-less chaps***."

"But...I...I can't
be hhamo! I am a married man!"

Unexpectedly pinocchio
hurries in the room wearing only a thong...silky lavender...

"pintocchio? what
are you doing here?" says shrek

"S-SHREK! Haha oh
boy(is that what pinochhio would say? lel.) lord farquaad! he is going after
all hamos!" says the terrified puppet as he sheds a tear.

Shrek looks worried...but
blushes...lavender is the ogres' favorite color. Srek is loosing hope...scared
that Lord farquaad will cum after him and his homo gay friends.

"sorry to interrupt
this moment y'all \*eddie murphy laugh\*" says donkr "but where's ur
dong?"

Pintocchio gasps.

"well...my nose IS
MY DONG!"

Every1 gasp!

"donket!
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!" says the angry ogre.

"whats the matter
sugar daddy?" says donkr.

"Donkeet! we have
more important matters to discuss!"

~~~~~\*\*\*~\*~\*~\*mad world
by gary jules plays\*\*~~~~\*~\*\*~\*~\*~\*~~\*

Everyone gets silent,
shrek, donket, ginger, pinto, wolf, sadness...

All around me are
familiar faces...worn out places, worn out faces. bright and early for their
daily races

going nowhere, going
nowhere.

The wolf gasps!

"I heard something
outside!" says the worried wolf. "Quick! every1 hide in my
anus!"

"I don't think we
can all fit in there ladeh," says shek.

"no let's hide in
pintoccios bum bum, it's probably large ;)" says donkr!

"well, as you can
tell, i am a puppet"

"NO TIME FOR DILLY
DALLYING YA WANKS WE GONNA GO HIDE!" says shrek.

The gang scurries around
the castle looking for a place 2 hide.

"Oh we can hide in
here!" says donkee.

Donk donk walks over to a
closet. He continues to open it and den his buttplug collection flows out of
the confined closet.

"oh haha u can just
ignore these," says donket.

"oh ya ok i'll
ignore THE OCEAN OF BUTTPLUGS THAT JUST CAME OUT OF THAT CLOSET YA TWAT,"
says sork.

"rnt they glorious,
there's 1,000...wait WERE IS MY LIMITED EDITION MICHAEL JACKSON
BUTPLUG!111111"

"well i hope you
don't mind tht i borrowed one ;;;;;;)))))" says the bad wolf as he pulls
out a 6 inch diamond incrusted buttplug."

"quick everyone in
the closet!11111" says the green shrek.

shek pushes everyone in
the closet and closes the door. a tight squeeze. ;))) (im srry mom)

"ok! every1
shush!" say shrek.

The gang keeps quiet as
they listen to farquaad and his hamo destroying army look around the place.

Farquaad walks around the
place with his heels clacking on the floor and his bobbers jiggling. It wasn't
long before he found everyone. Farquaad swings open the closet door.

"aha! I have found
you sinners!"

Shrek loses his balance
and falls over! and his dong falls out!

"WhhhoAh!" says
shrek.

Lord farquaad is
surprised and blush a bit.

"G-guards! take them
away!" say farquaad

One of the guards snaps
his gum then bites his lip and puts his hand on his hip.

"\*in hamo voice\*
alright boss" says the guard as he walks over to them lik he on a catwalk
lol. (the two guards are shirtless and wear lord farquaad hats and red panties
and white go go boots)

Farquaad and the guards
hand cuff every1.

"how did you find
us?!" say donkr.

"seriously? i mean
look at all these buttplugs...a glorious collection...\*coughs\* ahem! it wuz
pretty obvious!" say farquaad. "now it's time to go to HAMO
PRISON!"

Every1 gasp!

to be continu...

Donkey, Please

www.fanfiction.net

(they try to make me go
to church camp but i say no no no. hello everyone it's been way too long! so
sorry for long wait my mmom keep on tellin me that i am a sinner! i tell her NO
shrek is the purest. and she try to take away me onion but that will not
happen!)

lord farquaad leads the
gang to his hamo prison bus, it's red(like donkets dress) covered in fabulous
shimmering sparkles and says 'hamo prison bus!' in bright flamingo pink
lettering.

"Alright all you sinners!
hop on the bus." said lord farquaad.

Donket was brave, he
boarded the bus first, he hopped up the 3 shimmering stairs and looks to his
left...and there was rumplestiltskin! wearing a glittery gold thong and tassles
that flow oh so gracefully off his erecting nipples. there he was sitting in
the back row looking out the window...WITH REGRET! IN HIS EYE!11 Donkr paused.
and looked at rumplestilitskin, their eyes met. rumple gasped! and then looked
away with a shameful look as he was ashamed of all the sin he has committed...

"r-rumpy..."
say donket quietly.

Shrek was getting
impatient so he pushed donkr out of the way and get on the bus and gasp!

"RUmPLEFORESKIN is
THAT YOU?" say shrek with surprise.

rumple doesn't say
anything...he just twiddles his nipple tassle.

"sh...shrek..."
says a soft voice in the second row. a head peeks over the seat.

"arthur?!" say
shrek.

Oh boy was he right.
there was arthur pendragon wearing a very ***sheer*** and ***lacy***
pair of bikini panties they were a pale pink color, but arthur managed to keep
it classy. he was also wearing a royal cape, and black bondage all over his
body and one single gem on each of his nipples.

Shrek and donkr sigh...

"hey what's the hold
up here?" say lord farquuad as he pokes shrek in the butt with his golden
cane.

"oi laddeh go easy
on my behind it's still... sore. ;)" say shrek.

Lord fukquaad BLUSHES!

"just sit down you
slutty wang sucker!" say fukwaad.

"ya, hay boss we
gotta go soon it's almost chow time for them sinful inmates," says one of
the guards.

The gang doesn't
resist... shrek n donkr sit next to each other in a middle row, and ginger sits
on top of shrek's raging whale erection. wolf and pinocchio sit in the seat
next to shrek and donkey ***so they can feel the warmth of their bodies .*** two
of the guards sit behind shrek and the gang to make sure they don't commit any ***homosexual***
acts. Farquaad hops into the drivers seat.

"Alright boys"
says the last guard as he puts his hand on his hip, " it's time to go to
hamo prison! And if you didn't already know my name is Nicholas but you can
call me nicki. make sure that you're all sitting there tight, this is gonna be
a bumpy ride! ;))" said the guard as he sat in the first row.

After the guard sits down
farquaad starts up the engine and starts driving. this truly will be one heck
of a ***ride.*** ;)

to be continue...

**Donkey, Please**

(this is my 10th chapter wooo(xxtra smut for my 10th
chapter celebration) i hope u r all ok with oc's because i am very proud of
nicki the hamo destroying guard! and a little bit of a crossover ;) but wow I
am cheap i nede to make longer chapters! so y'all can jak moar if u know what i
mean. ;))(dis one will be dirty! so make sure to cleanse yourself with holy
water and onion after reading)

"oh boy yeehah all this sure glad this is a
bumpy ride, cause all this vibration really TURNS ME ON" said donkr.

"d...donkr..." said sherk as his dongerr
rises more, even though shreks massive wang is constantly in erection. it
grew.

"aha oh boy." said ginger, he was
sitting on shreks ding dong area so he was surprised when he rose a bit.
;))))))))

Sherk, donkety, and ginger laugh.

Lord farquaad hears the chuckles happening from
those seats in the middle row so he glances into his front view mirror. and oh,
what does he see? he sees shreks GORGEOUS smoky auburn eyes just staring into
his poor weak soul, making him WEAK and his nipples HARD.

"hey! no laughing you schlong sucking,
sausages!" yelled farquaad.

Farquaad gulped. he was feeling just a strong
attraction towards shrek. farquaad tears up. either he's in love with shrek, or
his nipple clamps are too tight...

"Oh boy i am getting very hungry, lads. i
crave some layers if you know what i mean." said shrek

"yeah me too...HUNGRY FOR A LITTLE BIT OF
MEAT! if you know WHAT I MEAN! ;)" said donkr.

"how repulsive! guards, spray em!"

the three guards rise from their seats and spray
everyone with a strange liquid! every1 coughs.

"laddeh! what is this that you've sprayed on
us?" said shrek.

"it's a homo toner! to tone down the homo!
made of pure things! like holy water, my jaw sweat, and nipple extract!"
said farquaad.

Shreks erect jimmy john lowered, along with
ginger.

"Ha! now you all can't be hamo! this is going
to be a quiet ride to HAMO PRISON!"

And boy was farquaad right, it was a quiet ride to
hamo prison. no gay sinful acts were committed on the way there.

Then finally they arrived. farquaad drove to the
entrance and stopped the hamo bus.

"alright you tity nipple pinching sinners! we
have arrived to the prison where you will be miserable!" said farquaad.

Farquaad opened the bus door and stood up but
unexpectedly his pants fell down and...his vibrator slipped out of his anal
hole!(i'm sorry this is really sinful)

Every1 gasp!

"um! that was there for medical reasons! am
not hamo!" said farquaad as his pulled his pants back up.

But was it REALLY?

"guards! escort the prisoners inside!"
said the now embarrassed farquaad.

The prisoners stood up and followed the guards
into the prison without any resistance.

"oh? are these the hamo sinners you we're
talking about, farquaad?" said a mystery man.

The prisoners gasp! this mystery man just happens
to be...

"juni CORTEZ?(spy kids. this is older juni
like from machete)" said shrek.

"haha yes it's me" juni replied.

Juni was wearing a police officer outfit that was
a little too tight for him. ;)))) and was super tight around his GROIN . with a
badge that said 'hamo prison officer'.

"enough with the chatting! it is time to lock
all of you hamo fools up! but first..." said farquaad as he glanced into
shrek's dashing golden eyes "we're gonna need to get rid of any gay
gadgetry you sick sinners carry on you. juni, guards, search them."

"line up everybody," said officer
juni.

And how could everyone resist such a man, a man
with curls, the prisoners lined up ready to get a pat down ;)))) the guards
took the handcuffs off of everyone.

"great. so, mr. pendragon we'll start with
you."

"OH i'll take care of this one ;)))"
said nicki(my oc)

arthur firmly lifts his arms.

"you can search me, guard. you'll find
nothing." arthur says confidently.

"hmm alright" said the guard as he
patted him down.

arthur let out a SOFT moan but there was nothing
to be found on him.

The guard hummed quietly as he locked his eyes
onto arthur's chest. he flicked one of the gems off arthur to reveal HIS
MASSIVE SALAMI SIZED NIPPLE!

"well, the cat's outta the bag," said
arthur as he took the other gem off as well.

The guard is pretty speechless, he has never SEEN
such LARGE nipples!

"this isn't even the biggest they can get! if
you give them a few taps they reach maximum baloney ;)" said the now slightly
moist arthur.

The guard is tempted by arthur's offer. he bites
his lip as he tries to hide his now ERECTED shaft.

"i'm sorry arthur but i will not give in to
any of your hamo sinful things! farquaad is my lord and ruler!" said nicki
loudly and obviously as farquaad smirked.

Arthur lowers his arms and squeezes his nipple to
relieve some of his stress. Nicki goes to the next person...which is wolf.
;))))

"okay furry let's see here..."

Nicki did the pat down on wolf but there was
nothing to be found...

"alright. we'll just have to see if there's
anything in here!" said the guard as he pulled down wolf's thong by
surprise!

Everyone gasped!. but the big bad wolf seemed to
be alright with it. ;)

"okay we'll just check in here" he said
as he reached for the wolf's anus. "you know, for safety reasons"

Nicki pulled out a luxury buttplug with a charming
gemstone made from only the finest indian sapphire. but oh he didn't stop
there.

"well let's see if there's anything else in
here..."

This man clenched his hand into a fist AND SHOVED
IT STRAIGHT UP THIS BIG BAD WOLF'S TIGHT THROBBING PASSAGE WITH ABSOLUTELY NO
LUBE GOING IN COMEPLETELY DRY AS THE SAHARAH DESERT AND NOT A SINGLE SHREIK
CAME OUT OF THE WOLFS SNOUT AS HE HAD NO TIME BECAUSE BEFORE HE KNEW IT THIS
MANS FOREARM WAS ALREADY UP HIS RECTAL OPENING, NICKI TICKLED THIS WOLFS DARK
RECTUM AND OH BOY THIS ALSO TRIGGERED HIS PROSTATE, HIS LOVE SPOT WHICH CAME
WITH A NASTY ORGASM BUT NO THIS CAN'T HAPPEN HERE NO NO NO NOT NOW, THEY WERE
BEING MONITORED BY FARQUAAD! HE SIMPLY CANNOT KNOW THAT THIS HAMO DESTROYING
GUARD SHOVED HIS FOREARM UP THIS FURRY'S CLENCHED BUTTHOLE! NICKI QUICKLY
GRABBED THIS WOLFS SNOUT TO TRY AND CONTAIN HIS AROUSAL. THIS REGRETFUL GUARD
HAD TO QUICKLY REMOVE HIS ARM FROM THIS FOREIGN REGION LEAVING THE WOLF WITH A GAPING
HOLE THE SIZE OF ONE VERY LARGE ONION.

"oh ya he's clean ;))), well except for this
buttplug!"!1

"how sick...such a lovely plug though...BUT
SICK!" said farquaad as he took the plug from nicki's hand and put it into
a sin box that will be stored away.

Next in line is the voluptuous shrek who knew what
was cumming so he lifted those arms ready for the pat down. Nicki quickly
patted down sherk with nothing to be found but his hot ass ;)))))))))))))

"ya we're going to need to get you sum pants
because these ass-less chaps are unacceptable," said nicki.

"but laddeh these make my hot cakes look even
hotter ;)" shrek said seductively and scottish.

"all of these disgusting
silky...sheer...lacy...\*gulp\* thongs are unacceptable! so afterwards we're going
to give all of you inmates appropriate clothing," said fukwaad.

Next in line was donket and his silky sheer red
dress...

"no yuo can't search me i am pregnont!"
donkr exclaimed.

Every1 gasp!(but shrok cuz he already knew)

"that's a ridiculous statement! babies cannot
cum out anally!" farquaad argued.

Just saying anally made the inmates ver y
moisst!(very sin am srry) ;)))))

"so shut your weeny sucking mouth and let my
guard search you!"

Donkr couldn't refuse so he lifted his hooves and
let nicki search, he felt he had to search donkrs rectum so he lifted the dress
and pulled the thong down and! he pulled out a 2 gallon bottle of onion
flavored lube!

every1 gasp!

"hehehehe just in case if u know what i mean,
"say donket

"how obsurd!" said farquaad as he was
trying to conceal his 2 inch erection.

Nicki was still curious so he lifted his dress
even higher and there were nipple clamps!

"i can't feel my nippls haha" say
donkr

Farquaad ripped those nipple clamps of donker and
the aroused furry let out a LOUD moan!.

"oooOOOOOOOohhhHMMMMMMYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
donkr moaned.

Arthur got so arroused that his salami nippls went
full baloney and everyone's eyes widened.

"um...\*blush\* YEAH! i'll be taking
these!1111111" said the FULLY AROUSED farqwaad as he put the clamps and
lube in the sin box.

Farquaad went back to stand next to juni as nicki
continued his work. next in line was pintochio wearing his silky lavender
thong, nicki quickly searched pinto with nothing to be found...but his nose
grew ;)))) (which is his dong!)

"haha oh boy," said pinocchio.

Next in line was ginger wearing his dazzling
low-cut sparkly flowing periwinkle dress. nicki grabbed ginger and lifted his
dress only to reveal his tiny gumdrop dong ;))

"! wow how embarrassing! ;)" said
ginger.

Nicki put ginger down and went to the last
person...rumplestiltskin wearing a glittery gold thong and nipple tassles. out
of everyone rumple looked the most ashamed of his sinful actions. nicki had to
get on his knees ;) because rumple was so short!(like his dong lol) nicki
removed the tassles and handed then to farquaad. RUMPLE MOANED! but it was only
a quiet beg for a good jakin on his dong. nicki patted him down but there was
nothing to be found but an aroused man.

"alright we're all done with the pat downs
;)" said nicki.

"you sick sick fools! you see this box full
of all your sins? HUH? YEAH? we're going to burn it all!" farquaad
growled.

"wow i really wanna stick my dong in juni's
soft curls," wolf whispered to shrek.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?" farquaad screamed.(he was so
sick of the hamoness)

Juni blushed. farquaad handed the sin box to juni
then rushed over to wolf and grabbed him by his fur and pulled him CLOSE.

"I will NOT tolerate ANYYYYY hamo comments
about myself nor juni! WE ARE BOTH VERY STRAIGHT MEN STRAIGHTER THEN THE
ARTIFICIAL WANGS YOU SINNERS STICK UP YOUR ANAL HOLES! you got that?"

Wolf bit fukwaads colossal jaw as a response.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH! HE'S INFECTING ME WITH
HIS HOMOSEXUAL POISON GET HIM OFF!" farquaad screeched.

Farquaads three guards pulled off the wolf.

"put a muzzle on it!" farquaad
insisted.

"NO! how am i supposed to give lickings to
dong-"

But before the wolf could say anymore his snout
was constrained with a muzzle.

The inmates gasped!

"aha! good thing we were prepared for a
moment like this you sick hamo fool!" said farquaad.

Although his snout is constrained, wolf has never
been so ERECT. he was so erect that his little meat stick RIPPED his thong!1

every1 gasp! farquaad screeched!

"constrain it!" fukwaad exclaimed.

But they were not prepared for a situation like
this so juni acted quickly and RIPPED OFF HIS SEXY OFFICER SHIRT TO REVEAL HIS
SIX PACK ABS AS HARD AS STONE AND HIS SOFT POINTY NIPPLES

"i got this," juni said conifdently.

Juni RUSHED OVER TO THE SCENE AND MILKED HIS
LITTLE TITY NIPPLES ALL OVER THE ERECTED SHAFT, THE LIQUIDS WERE
EVERYWHERE(which by the way is 99.9% holy water because juni is god) EVERYONE
WAS IN SHOCK JUNI'S ABS WERE SO HARD AND MESMERIZING THEY BEDAZZLED EVERYONE'S
MIND. but it was no shock that juni's nipple milk was effective, the wolfs
erection was slowly falling. oh how pure juni is. everyone was surprised by
juni's amazing abilities. surprised and MOIST. since the risen dong was put to
rest juni's work was done so he sadly put his shirt back on and covered his
erected pecks...

"that was very uncalled for! now you are even
more hamo and naked!" say farquaad. "we have to make sure this
doesn't happen again."

Farquaad pulled out a red roll of duck tape from
his bra and tapped the wolf's pelvic region.

"this is red and red is a pure and holy
color! now that this is done it's time to give all of you your prison outfits.
guards."

One of the guards put a box in front of the gang
full of typical prison jumpsuits, but with a twist
;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) they are red and TIGHT SKIN TIGHT on the leg
and dong area so tight that you have to clench your butt cheeks just to squeeze
in it. but the top part is a flowing short sleeve and sheer all over so you can
kinda see THE NOPPLES! and on the back it says HAMO PRISON! in thick gold lettering.
and another guard put down a box of tighty whiteys because thong are
unacceptable.

"alright remove what clothing you have left
and put on these outfits designed by me!" said farquaad.

Everyone removed their clothes in normal way no
hamoness because everyone was scared of wat fukwwad would do them! there was a
size for everyone even little ginger, everyone put on their jumpsuit the same
way. left leg in, right leg in, CLENCH BUTT CHEEKS, put arms in, button up,
RELEASE BUTT CHEEKS.

"luv the way this squeezes me dong into a
small space ;)" say wolf.

Farquaad blush.

"w..wolf…! time to lock all of you up,"
said farquaad.

Farquaad, juni, and the guards led the group
through the door into the room with the cells.

"well! here we are, there will be nO room
sharing so you sinners won't commit any hamosexual crime." Said fukwaad.

There wwas already a couple of people in cells!
there is merlin, puss in boots and! THE MUFFIN MAN!

The gang gasps!

"puss in boots! Is that you?" shrek
say

"aloha me amigos yes it is i," said
puss.

puss is wearing with his boots of course u dumbass
lol.

"m….muffin man!" said ginger.

the muffin man is wearing a regular black thong
and a neon pink tutu and muffin shaped stickers on his nipples.

"ging!" said muffin man.

"merlin!" said arthur.

merlin is wearing a slutty wizard outfit.

"alright alright enough with the GAY!
conversation," farquaad interrupted.

"psh WOW! Why do they get to wear what they
want?" said wolf.

"oh um…well we had to quickly drop them off
and then pick up you FOOLS!" said farquaad.

"mmm alright boss we'll lock em up then give
the rest of the inmates jumpsuits," said nicki.

"ok I trust you nicholas. me and juni are
going to the break room now to have a little drink. Come on, juni." said
fukkwaad.

Nicki and the guards handle the inmates while
farquaad nd juni go into the break room ;))))))))))))))))

"you can sit down juni I'll get us drinks
;)" said fukerwad

Juni sat down and farquaad went to the mini fridge
and got two bottles of mike's hard lemonade and set them on the table, then he
popped those bottles open and joined juni. Juni and farquaad both took a sip.

"MMmMMMmMmMmM this lemonade sure is HARD! ;)"
said farquaad. "hmmmheyahahhahaha"

"haha yes it sure is strong," said juni
as he took a comb out of his pocket and brushed his luscious curls.

Farquaad is now VERY turned on. juni's curls in
action always churns farquaads butter. farquaad choked on his lemonade because
he didn't even think of swallowing.

"oh are you okay?" said juni.

"oh oh ya! HAHA!" said farquaad as he
bit his lip.

Farquaad's 2 inch meat stick has now risen.

"um I have to go to the bathroom I'll be
right back!" said farquaad.

Farquaad rushed over to the bathroom to…"take
care of business" ;))))))))))))

Juni took sip of his lemonade and as he set it
down an unknown man put his hand over juni's mouth!

"ay dawg imma just slip this in here, and you
better not say anything or else I will shave your curls off!" said the
man

Juni nodded and the man took his hand off of juni.
Juni got a good look at the man…

"s…SNOOP DOGG! the hamo assassin? w-what are
you doing here?" said juni.

"well I suspect that lord farquaad is indeed
hamo!" snoop replied.

"what? That can't be! farquaad is a HAMO
DESTROYER!"

Snoop took a little baggy out of his pocket.

"just a little hamo truth powder won't hurt
him," said snoop as he poured it in farquaads drink.

Juni gasp.

"now you better not say ANYTHING or else your
curls will be shaved : )"

Snoop went and hid behind a potted plant just as
farquaad came out of the bathroom.

"wow! I sure am thirsty! i was peeing for so
long HAHA!" said farquaad as he sat down.

Farquaad then took a sip of his hard lemonade.

"w…wow! my drink tastes a little funny!"
said farquaad.

to be continue….

Donkey, Please

www.fanfiction.net

(wow it has been a very
VERY long time! But I have a perfectly good excuse. I was sin fasting, I had to
relieve myself of the sin I was committing during my donkey, please writing
sessions. You might need to reread the last chapter to remember wats goin on! I
hope you forgive me ;) jak on.)

"I WANT YOUR COKK IN
MY MOUTH RIGHT NOW, JUNI!" farquaad boasted.

Juni gasped, all along he
thought that fukwaad was a hamo destroyer.

Snoop doggr revealed
himself and did a cool assassin somersault towards farquader.

"WHAT? Snoop dogg
the hamo assassin? I SWEAR I am NOT HAMO SIN! I do not want a big juicy erect
cocker in my mouth…."

Lord farquaads mouth
waters with sin….

SNOOP DOG G WHIPS OUT HIS
HIDDEN ASSASSIN KNIFE!

juni and farHOMOwad gasp!

Snoop dogg SNORTS A LINE
OF WEED OFF HIS KNIFE! Then looks up at juni and farquad with a blank
expression with a little zest of rage.

"you don't need to
smoke the drug to experience the fun, friends."

"Hamo assassin
snoop…" juni gulped "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Mr. dogg I swear
this is a completely hamo free prison." Said farquadd.

"that's actually not
how it works lord farHOMOSINquad i'm smarter than you I went to college and
majored in sin history. I slipped a little bit of hamo truth powder in your gay
lemonade." Snoop replied.

Farquaad scoffed.
"oh what you think that you can come into MY PRISON with your tight little
ass and disrespect me like that!?"

Juni gasped. "Tight?
Ass? Farquaad sir that is hamo vocabulary and those kind of sayings are
strictly forbidden."

"my delicious juni?
You too? I am nOT homosin! I don't trim my nipple hairs or bleach my
sinhole(asshole)."

"this is all sweet
and dandy ya'll but I gotta bud in here. Haha bud. Like weed.(snoop spaces out
for a full 30 seconds because he smokes so much herb)"

Farquaad and juni wait
patiently because they shall not disrespect a master.

"…WRONGO!"
snoop exclaimed "there are many sin violations here."

"oh suck my beef,
snoop dogget!" farquaad shouted.

Snoop and Juni GASPEDD.

"ayyy man" said
snoop as he took a hit of a fat blunt "i'm just gonna let that go. I
respect you lord fukwwad, you're an excellent hamo destroyer. But you yourself
are a hamo sinner so are you going to destroy yourself?"

"hamo assassin
snoop..that was deep…deep like my asshole…" fukwwad replied.

Snoop hands farquaader a
vile of hamo truth antidote.

"here, take this my
nuggr. I'm sick of hearing u say that gay ass shizzle." Said snoomp.

Farquuad takes the vile
but desperately wantss to succ it like an ogre c0kk, but he resists his sinful
temptations and drinks the liquid.

"ah, yes, now I'm
back to normal. I crave de puss puss."

"speaking of pu$$y.
I'd like to introduce you to hatsune miku(if you don't know who hatsune miku is
she's a singing program thing created by the japs look her up omfg) our new
hamo destroyer general." Said smoop degg.

miku enters hte room
wearing a cute general outfit because she's the baddest bitchh with a poppin
pusi.(if ur wondering, no pussy isn't a sin word cuz we all came out of one so
pussy iz pretty much life. Unless u were a c-section then you were just removed
frum ur mother you frokken abomination.)

"Hello hamo
destroyer farquaad and cortez. i'm general miku and as you can see I sent hamo
assassin snoop here because I suspected u of beeing hamo. So I instructed snoop
to slip some hamo truth serum into your faggy gay lemonade."

"it's not gay! It's
hard! and only for the manliest of mens!" farquuad interrupted.

"farquuad calm your
tits lmao like seriously." Said miku.

"well at least I
have a pair of tits ya skinny puta ! farquaad sassed.(farqaad has tiddy
implants remember)

Miku, snoop, and juni
gasped!

"you're really
churning my butter, farquaad. And butter should never be overchurned."
Said miku.

"well you're really
steeping my tea! And oversteeping tea makes it bitter!" farquaad replied.

"Farquaad sir you
probably shouldn't disrespect general miku like that or else she'll churn you."
Juni added.

"anyways. From what
I overheard the hamo truth powder was effective and you said something about
wanting junis cokk in your mouth? Said miku.

Juni blush…

"n..no I
never.."

"ayyyy 420 blaze
weed. I can confirm ma'am I was there IN THE FLESH when he said it." Snoop
added.

"this is hamosin
strike one, farquaad. But just because you said the sin doesn't mean you
committed it. so to be sure I'm going to have to give you an anal examination
just to make sure your anus hole is nice and tight." Said miku.

Every1 gasp!

Meanwhile at the prison
cells…

Shek clinks his martini
glass across the cell door

"nEEDE MARTINI AND
DONGR!" shrek exclaims.

To be continue…..

Donkey, Please

www.fanfiction.net

(2 new characters were
introduced in the last chap of donkety plz hamo assassin snoop dogg and general
hatsune miku, wHat sin will happn this time? Ooh ;)))))))))))))))))))))

shrek sighs.

"DONKEH DONKKK(no im
not racist)KKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH! Can you hear me donkeH!" shrek yell.

"yeah sherk I can
hear you! martini and dongr sounds nice right about now. ;)" say the
donkety seductively.

"HEY! Youre not
allowed to say things of that nature!" says one of the guards.

"why don't you pull
down those shorts and let me gobble your ding dong ;))" say donketr

The guards eyes widen
with surprise!11

"oh man hearing all
of thi s is mekking my nipples expand," Said arthur Pendragon.

"I don't even neede
a spell to mak e my cockr rise im just hanging dong naturally, ;)" said
merlin.

"I want a dong
muffin," Said the muffin man.

"I coold shove THIS
WHOLE PILLOW up my anal hole, " said wolf.

"myy Dong is
growing…" said pintochhio

"dunk me in some
milk and lick me clean. ;)))" Said ginger.

The guard sprays the
inmates with hamo toner(tones down the hamo. Made from holy water, farquaads
jaw sweat, and nipple extract)

The inmates cough.

Shrek cri.

"I WISH I KNEW HOW
TO QUIT YOU," shrek yelled.

"now settle down
every1!" the guard exclaimed.

"oh shreky…"
donket sighed.

"by the way wats
your name, sweet cheeks? ;) you look like you got a nice snug little ass."
Said wulf!

The guard sprayed wolf
with a little extra toner…

"my name is
shadow…" said the guard as he shook his head to get his bangs out of his
face.

Shadow has tan skin and
shaggy black hair with a streak of red, he also has red eyes. Hes wearing the
classic hamo guard outfit. Shirtless, red booty shorts, white go go boots, and
a lord farquaad style hat.

nicki enters the cell
room and walks over to shadow.

"hey ya slut
lol." Said nickii.

"where have you been
yuo been there was quite a lot of sinful talking in here and I needed some help
:(" said shadow.

"well I was
processing all the new inmates info its not liek I was jakkin off lel."

"whatever…it's time
to feed these hamo sinners tho."

"ITS DINNER TIME YOU
HAMO DINGY DONGER SUCKERS!" nickii yelled.

Nicki pressed a button
that opened all the cells.

"its chow time,
laddehs." Said sheky

Meanwhile back with lord
fuckerwaad….

"juni and snoop can
you please step out of the room while I examine fukrwaads anal hole?" said
miku.

Juni and snoompr nod and
exit the room.

"alright fukwaad im
gonna need you to turn around and pull your pants down"

Farquaads heart started
beating fast! he knew he waz gonna fail the anal holer exam cause his ass has
been pounded by a big OGRE cokkr be4. farquud turned around, pulled down his
pants, and bent over nice and pretty.

"alright,
good." Said miku.

Miku put a rubber glove
on her hand and began to enter two of her fingers into farquads dirty dirty
sinhole. BUT! Unexpectedly(not rly tho lmao) her fingers were being sucked in
LIKE A BLACK HOLE and she started to scream! as her hand was slowly sinking in
fukerwaads previously penetrated anus.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
UR ASS IS EATING MY HAND!" miku screamed.

farquuad bit his lip
hard! He was feeling such an eXtreme pleasure that he had to keep bottled up
inside.

Juni and snoop ran into
the room!

"ayyy dawg whats
wrong" said the chill snoop.

"general miku!"
juni exclaimed.

miku tries as hard as she
can to pull her hand out of fukerwaads black hole.

"his sinhole is
eating my hand! HELPP(no not pp like a dong)PPPPPPPPPP!"

"oh please get her
hand out of my gaping hole ;)" said fukkrwaad but he didn't rlly mean it.

Juni rushes over to miku,
keep e in mind that junii is wearing a tight uniform that sculpts his
asscheekrs rlly nicely ;))))))))), he grasps her arm and tries to pull it out
of fukrwaads hole…

"iTS gOING IN
DEEPER!" miku exclaimed.

Farquaad lets out a very
LOUD moan.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOH FIST
MY ASS(this is sooper sinful am srry please forgive me god)" ffarquad
moaned.

Every1 GASP! Smoop grabs
onto mikus arm too and they all pull.

Then FINALLY mikus hand
is pulled out and miku, juni, and snoop all fall back. Miku lands DIRECTLY on
junis dong area!miku blush!1 but luckily juni can choose when to get b0nerz
cause he is all holy god.

"ayyyyy. All yall
needed was a delicious chocolate man like me to help you out, ;)))" said
snep.

Snoop gets up along with
miku.

"well that was
completely bananERS VERY BUCK WILD." Said the very stressed miku as she
pulled off her glove and tossed it in the fokken garbage where that sin filled
glove belongs.

Miku puts out a hand and
helps juni up. Ooohhh getting flirtyy and moist ;))))))))

Fukerwaads pants are
still down btw

"yo dawg that is the
smallest dongr ever. It's the size of a peanut lmao." Said smoop

"but is it the size
of a peanut in its shell or a peeled one?" fukerwad replied.

"farquuad. I am very
disappointed in u, your anal holer almost devoured my hand."

"farquaad sir you
should pull up your pants…" said the slightly MOIST godly juni.

"ahhh…of
course." Said fukkwader as he pulled up his pants.

"this was 100
percent sinful and unacceptable, Im going to need to demote you from hamo
prison lieutenant to chief of the hamo prison guards," Said miku.

Every1 GASPP!

To be continu…..

\*(heres a little donkey,
please vocabulary 4 any1 whos confused by the terms)\*

Hamo/hamosexual –
homo/homosexual

Dong – penis(VERY SIN
WORD)

;))))))))))))) – very
long winky face

Hamo toner – a mixture of
farquaads jaw sweat, holy water, and nipple extract.

Donkey, Please

www.fanfiction.net

(its bean so many
months…I am srry to all my fans and to jesus of course cuz he didn't die on the
cross for me to not update my fanfiction. i had writers block and I was at
bible camp so I was occupied with that. ;))) I've been watching every single
shrek movie everyday for the past couple of days an then…my genitals strted to
tingle(srry jesus) and my writers block was gone..enjoy this SINFUL chap ;))))

"b…but miku I am
LORD fukywaad and this is MY prison!" farquaad wined.

"yeah right jackass
I am the hamo army general" miku replied.

Farquaad looks over to
juni for emotional support.

"juni? What do you
have to say to this?" farquaad asked.

Miku flashes juni the
sex(jesus forgive me)y death stare which filled juni with TERROR and also made
him slightly aroused…

"I'm sorry farquaad
we had some good times together but this is general mikus decision…" said
juni.

"JUNI YOU TRAITORUS
BITCH!" said farquaad as he SLAPPED juni!

every1 gasp!

Juni sheds a single tear.

"I didn't leave the
spy kids to be bullied…" juni murmured.

"FARQUAAD you need
to calm your testosterone sacks and stop smacking people around! Juni is poor
innocent and holy HOW DARE YOU!" miku exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, mistress…"
farquaap replied.

"I forgive you,
naughty boy. Let's just not slap people, okay?" said miku

"snoop…what do you
have to say about this?" farquaad sighed.

"ay man I'm just a
simple hamo assassin," said snoop as he flings a bong(plz don't do drugs) at
a window and breaks it.

Every1 gasp!

Snoop dogg quickly leaps
through the window and ninja assassin runs away into the shadows…

"wow he's so
cool…" said juni and farquaad.

"I love that
delicious chocolate man," miku purred.

"So, general miku,
who will be taking my place as hamo prison lieutenant?" farquaad sneered.

"Well isn't it
obvious? Cortez will be taking your place."

Juni blushes and runs his
hand through his lush curls.

"Do you really mean
that miku-chan?" said juni.

"That's general miku
to you, cortez."

"Enough of the
flirtatious exchanges you two," Farquaad interrupted.

"Oh please farquaad
I'm waiting until marriage to flirt I'm not a sinner," said miku.

"Ahem, anyways, so
who will be taking juni's place since he is replacing me?"

Miku takes a glance at
her watch.

"Well she should be
arriving right about-"

FIONA bursts through the
door.

Every1 gasp!

"Surprise, dong
suckers!" Fiona blurted.

"no….this can't
be!" farquad RAGED.

"I am aware that you
two have quite the history," miku added.

"it's a pleasure to
meet you, princess," said juni in a gentlemanly manner.

"Oh yes FUCKWAAD I'm
your boss now! KISS MY ASS YOU FAGGY MIDGET!" fiona roared.

Miku is astonished at how
outspoken Fiona is so she remains silent…

"fioNA PLEASE! I AM
NOT HOMO!"

"I saw you with MY
man enjoying pickle juice martinis, I saw that ding dang hamo donkey slip his
silky sheer red dress off…I think we all know what happened after that,"
Fiona lectured.

OooooOOoOOooooOh!
Spillin' the beans!

Miku and Juni are
stunned…juni can't believe that it's true that his mentor, lord farquaad, has
indeed participated in homosexual activities.

"It is true…I had a
hamosexual threesome with Shrek and the donkey…" said the ashamed lord
farqaap.

Miku and juni GASP.

"YOU SLUTTY EMO
FUCK!" said Fiona as she TACKLED farquaad!

Miku and juni gasp once
again.

"I became an ogre
for that man and you have ANAL STYLE WITH HIM?!" Fiona yelled.

"you cut my dong in
half with your sharp grown pinky nail! I think that's enough punishment!"
farquaad pleaded.

Fiona lets out 15
consecutive farts.

Farquaad SCREECHES. Fiona
has farquaad pinned down with all of her ass mass.

"General miku don't
you think we should do something?" juni proposed.

Farquaad is still
screeching as Fiona lets it rip…

"No no just let this
play out Fiona needs to release her demons," miku replied.

"LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT
ME FARQUAAD I BECAME LIME GREEN FOR THAT MAN!"

"actually you're
more of a yellow-green with an olive tint," farquaad interjected.

Fiona starts to choke
farquaad.

"ahhh…yess…nya…choke
me daddy…" said farquaad.

"Alright alright
pull her off," miku insisted.

"I'm sorry general
but I don't think I'm strong enough, Fiona seems like she could crush me with
her bare hands and suffocate me with her badonkadonk."

"but you're a total
beefcake, cortez!" miku blurted.

Juni blushed…

"just help me pull
her off, farquaad is enjoying being choked too much…this room is filling with
sin."

Miku and Juni grab onto
Fiona and forcefully pull her off farquaad.

Farquaad gasps for air.

Fiona seems to have
calmed down but still has that little zest of rage…

Juni rushes over to help
farquaad up.

"All I wanted was to
have a mikes hard lemonade with my bro…" farquaad whimpered.

"Is that an innuendo
for something sinful?" miku questioned.

"No…it's just some
hard manly lemonade," farquaad replied.

"All that lemonade
belongs to me now!" Fiona boasted.

"although your
actions were uncalled for I will let this slide just because I enjoyed seeing
you choke the sin out of farquaad," said miku.

"Miku you goddamn
war criminal!" farquaad snapped.

"Unlike you I get
shizzle done and I'm not a hamo sinner," said miku.

"wow, a lot has
happened in this break room but what will happen to farquaad now that its been
revealed that he has had hamo intercourse?" said juni.

"Farquaad I will
forgive you for this but some ***purification*** will need to be
done," said miku.

Every1 gasp!

to be continue….

~~~~meanwhile back with shrek and the
crew~~~~

www.fanfiction.net

"alright everyone
make your way over to the cafeteria!" said nicki.

"what's for dinner?
\*eddie murphy laugh\*" said donket.

"sausage," Said
shadow.

"yes, sausage, a
meal for manly men," said nicki.

The prisoners all step
out of their cells and make their way to the cafeteria…except for wolf.

"PFFFT well I'm not
even hungry," said wolf.

"WELL THAT'S TOO
DAMN BAD! GO EAT SOME MEAT, BOI!," yelled Shadow as he fires a 9mm pistol
into the ceiling.

Every1 gasp.

"shadow! you emo
bitch put that away!" nicki scolded.

"nicki go with the
other inmates I need to speak with wolf… alone," said shadow.

"alright," said
nicki as he arms an AK-47 "I'll make sure things don't get too
crazy."

Nicki follows the inmates
into the cafeteria…shadow approaches wolf.

"I don't like your
attitude, furry." said shadow.

"uhhh don't you
know? Processed sausages are bad for you they are loaded with sodium, fat, and
calories! I'm a vegan anyways so the only kind of meat I eat is DICK!(srry for
sin word)" said wolf.

"but…you're a wolf
don't you need to eat meat to survive?"

"that is the power
of dick ;))))))))))))"

Shadow cringes and sprays
wolf with hamo toner. Wolf coughs.

"just go to the
cafeteria," shadow sighed.

Wolf winks ;) and walks
his tight little ass over to the cafeteria.

"yeah…go…***gotta***
go fast***..." shadow mumbled.***

The cafeteria has a few
cafeteria benches and a serving table. Shrek and donker are sitting at one
together of course donket x shek 4ever. Pinocchio, ginger, puss, the muffin man
and Arthur are at one. Merlin and Rumpelstiltskin are at one discussing magic
and wizard stuff. Everyone has sausages on their plate. Wolf walks over to the
serving table…doris(man-lady bartender) is the cafeteria lady!

"doris! What are you
doing here! Shouldn't you be at the bar serving up sexy vodka?" wolf
questioned.

"hey there sweet
cheeks," doris sighs "the bar…is gone."

Wolf gasps.

"what do you mean
it's gone?"

"drones." Said
doris.

"**drones?**"
said wolf in bold letters.

"Yes, drones. This
war…it's brutal. A drone flew into the bar one day, I heard 'allahu akbar' then
boom..i escaped out the back door.

"that's terrible…but
what does allahu akbar mean?"

"I was told that it
means…black is greater."(this is foreshadowing ok)

"Rip in pieces to
all the bar patrons that day…"

"Yes rip. So, do you
want some sausage?"

"Do you have any
vegan options?"

"Yes."

Doris hands wolf a hand
full of chia seeds and a head of iceberg lettuce.

"…got any dressing
for the lettuce?"

Doris hands wolf a
ketchup packet.

"sorry hot
cakes…that's all I got."

Wolf heads over to sit
with Pinocchio and the others.

"shrek." Said
donket.

"yes donkeh,"
said shrek as he gobbles down a sausage.

"i….love you. You
and your foot long dong. You're my sugar daddy ;)))))" said donkey
seductively

"WHAT! More like
splenda daddy! Donkeh I live in a swamp…I can't buy you the silky sheer red
dresses that you deserve."

"it's ok shrek..i
would of slipped them off anyway."

"i…..am a **married**
*man* **,** *donkey***…***please***…."**

🎵crawwwwling
in my skinnnnnn these wounds they will not heaaaaaal 🎵

"man I wish I had
some almond milk to enjoy with my iceberg lettuce…maybe we could smuggle some
in here…" said wolf.

"wolf you vegan
fuck(sorry god)" said Pinocchio.

"haha you are such a
wildcard, pino." Wolf laughed.

Pinocchio balances a
sausage on his nose.

"Pinocchio you are
the absolute madman," said ginger.

"jajajajaja you are
a crazy puppet me amigo," said puss.

"absolutely
insane," said the muffin man.

"you're such a
lunatic pino-" arthur coughed

"whoa are you ok
Arthur?" said wolf.

Arthur COUGHS UP **BLOOD**

Everyone at the table
gasps.

"doctor! We need a
doctor!" wolf yelled.

Nicki runs over to
Arthur, the whole room looks over in surprise.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH,"
yell Arthur. (to get the full effect of arthur's screams play this. go to
youtube and put this in the url watch?v=V4jH0WeV67I)

Arthur falls out of his
seat and coughs up more blood.

"whoa there salami
boy the doctor should be coming," said nicki.

A man walks into the
cafeteria wearing a doctors coat but with no shirt under ;))))))))) he walks
over to arthur.

"hi I'm goku. I'm
the doctor what is the problem," said the man.

It is goku from dragon
ball z!

"hello doctor
goku..pendragon seems to be dying so can you help," said nicki.

"yes of course I am
a doctor," said goku.

Goku lifts Arthur and
carries him in his beefy jacked arms ;))))))))))))) and takes him to the
infirmary.

"bless that boy and
his salami nipples," said wolf.

"I hope the little
laddie is alright," said shrek.

"can I eat the rest
of his sausage? \*eddie murphy laugh\*" said donket.

"oh donket"
said everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~back with
farquaad, miku, fiona and juni~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"W…what do you mean
by purification?" farquaad questioned.

"A ritual must be
done. You need to be ***pure*** again," miku replied.

"Can't he just use
some purell hand sanitizer? That always makes me feel pure, " said juni.

"a ritual?! Miku
this…is a crime! A war crime! Torture!" farquaad exclaimed.

Miku turns around and
lifts her shirt to reveal a small tattoo on her lower back that says 'war
criminal'

Everyone gasp!

"War criminal,
bitches!" miku exclaimed.

Miku lowers her shirt and
turns back around.

"Wow. You're the
kinda girl that I can kick back and enjoy a mike's hard lemonade with."
Said Fiona.

Miku blush.

"Thank you
Fiona-chan…" said miku.

"Anyways. I suppose
that this is unavoidable…let's get it over with," said farquaad.

"Cortez, Fiona,
you're both welcome to view farquaads purification," said miku.

"Yes I think
farquaad will need me as emotional support," said juni.

Farquaad blush.

"Gaaaaaaaaaaay,"
said Fiona.

"So, where will this
'purification' take place," farquaad questioned.

"In the purification
room of course," said miku.

Everyone gasp.

"This is no ordinary
break room, that bookcase is actually a secret door," said miku.

Miku walks over to the
bookcase, the others follow.

"You have to pull
this one book…" said miku as she searches for the right book.

"What book is
it?" asked juni.

"The communist
manifesto by humpty dumpty," Miku replied.

"Why didn't I know
about this secret room?" farquaad questioned.

"Ahh here it
is."

Miku pulls on the book
and opens the bookcase. The room is dim and has the interior of an orthodox
church, the windows depict black jack black(it's jack black but he's black)
wearing a Naruto headband and wielding a katana, in the middle of the room is a
large baptism pool. Miku steps into the room along with the others.

"The purification
room," said miku.

"It's amazing but
why is it hidden behind a bookcase?" asked juni.

"Oh, this
purification room is for employees only," miku replied.

"Uhhh who's that in
the pool?" Fiona questioned.

Everyone gasp.

To be continue…