The Avenger Hunt

The Avenger Hunt is the fourth chapter in the Wombles One.

Mrs Peel looked around. She saw someone who seemed to be calling, “Steed!  Steed?” Mrs Peel felt like she had seen them somewhere before.  They started running up to her.  “Have you seen my friend John Steed?” they asked.  “Uh, not lately…” said Mrs Peel.  “You see, my husband re-appeared and…”  “Oh, you’re Mrs Peel!” said the other person.  “Um, yes.  And you must be…?”  “Oh, of course.  You wouldn’t remember me, would you?  After all, our meeting only lasted about three seconds.  I’m miss Tara King, the one who replaced you.”  “Oh, you!” said Mrs Peel.  “I knew I had seen you somewhere.  Now, have you seen my husband?”  “What does he look like?”  “He’s quite distinctive.  He has a collection of bowler hats, umbrellas, and suits.”  “You’re married to Steed?!?!”  “No!  I’m married to Peter Peel.  Otherwise I would be Emma Steed, not Emma Peel.”  “WHO is Peter Peel?”  “Oh, nevermind.  Goodbye.” And Mrs Peel walked away, only to bump into someone else.  “Hello.” They said.  “I’m Mrs Catherine Gale.  Do you think you could help me?”  “What now?” asked Mrs Peel, frustrated.  “I need to stop the world from ending.  The theory about the white dwarf has returned.”  Mrs Peel didn’t believe her, so she rolled her eyes, and walked away, only to bump into Peter Peel!  “Peter!” said Mrs Peel.  “Emma?” asked Peter.  “How did you know I was…”  “I want you to stop this hunting business.” Continued Mrs Peel.  Peter didn’t have his dart gun with him, so there was nothing he could do apart from listen.  When Mrs Peel had finished the lecture, Peter said, “No.  If I stop this, I am giving up thousands of pounds.”  And he walked away.  Mrs Peel started to feel annoyed, angry, and sad, all at the same time. She stared after him, and noticed that he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring!  Mrs Peel sadly looked at hers, and slowly took it off, then miserably headed off back to tell the wombles what had happened.

“Ho hum” said Great Uncle Bulgaria as Mrs Peel told him the whole story.  “It’s no good saying ho hum about everything!  You’re going to be hunted you silly womble!” Mrs Peel said calmly but  with patronising authority.  Great Uncle Bulgaria hated being wrong so he just said “Tobermory!”

However Tobermory was in his Wombat costume chasing a classy white van.  Another womble came instead.  “Ach cannay be of arny help to ye wee lassie!”.   Mrs Peel looked at Cairngorm then at Bulgaria and sighed. Luckily Catherine appeared at that moment.  “I’ve found the orange dwarves!  Now where is the white one?”  Madame Cholet had spilled a load of dandelion flower over herself just before this. She came in and Catherine tried to catch her!  “The white dwarf!  I must save the world!”  They both ran out with Madame Cholet trying to escape.

Meanwhile, at Yellowstone park…  “Who?!?!” “Venus smith.” “Never heard of her!” “Yes you have.” “No I haven’t!” “You must have.” “Howcome?” “You are Venus Smith.” “I am not!  I’m… I’m… oh alright, maybe I am.”  “Of course you are!” “It’s just that I thought I was a famous singer called something like… er… Peanuts Sniff?” “You are a famous singer, but you’re Venus Smith, not Peanuts Sniff!”  “Oh, ok… who are you though?” “Who do you think, do you think I’m Mr Snoodle?” “Snoodle?” “I’m Steed!  John Steed! How can you not remember me?”  “I don’t remember anything, apart from how to speak, read, walk, listen, eat, and all the essential things.  But I don’t remember how to sing!”  “Oh no!  We must get your singing knowledge back!  Finding Tara is second priority!”  “Tara?” “It doesn’t matter.  Singing comes first!”  They turned to head out on their adventure, but were stopped, because suddenly hundreds and thousands of bowler hats fell on them!  A bit later, they emerged from the pile, and Venus said, “Do you know of a doctor?”  “Yes, two.” Replied Steed.  “Dr Keel and Dr King.  But it’s probably best to call doctor king.”  “Why?” “Because Dr Keel smokes all the time.” “Oh.”

Back in London the police were pursuing a high-speed chase with a classy white window cleaning van and a weird black car with odd looking people in it.  “Woo woo woo woo woo woo” came loudly out of the police car.  “Oh grow up!” shouted a fat old policemen to the small policemen beside him.  “OK” the small one reluctantly agreed and stopped making police car noises then switched on the siren.

They raced after the two speeding vehicles round a corner then blinked looking confused.  The white van just disappeared leaving them chasing the Wombatmobile alone.  Tobermory pulled the emergency turn lever and a parachute shot out as they screeched around at high speed.  The police car was only just driven out of the wombles way when a van appeared out nowhere.  The van had “Emergency Wombatmobile Pickup Service” written on the side.  It grabbed the parachute and disappeared again.

Tobermory stepped on it and raced back to the burrow in double quick time.  Whilst Bungo was taken to the Classy Window Cleaning Company. He stepped out of the van to see lots of window cleaners dressed in white with matching bowler hats like the one who drove the van earlier.  They all doffed their hats and Bungo did the same.  “Now Bungo here is your uniform” said another window cleaner.  He was given a white bowler, window cleaning overalls, wellies, gas mask and locker key.  He was shown to the lockers and put his brown hat and umbrella in there.  He got changed and finally was issued with hypnotic gas spray, beretta and five spare cartridges.

Some drums started playing over the PA and then the first man he met, the classiest window cleaner announced “The mission gentlemen is to find our targets.  Here they are.”  A big window suddenly became a screen.  A man appeared on it wearing a grey suit with matching bowler hat and umbrella.  “This is John Steed.  We want him and his colleagues under our control.”  The screen showed a lady in a fancy trouser suit with short brown hair and holding a blonde wig.  “Tara King current partner of Steed.”  The screen changed to show a lady with long hair and a shiny purple dress. “Mrs Peel former partner of Steed along with these ladies.”  The screen went on to Mrs Gale and Venus Smith.  “Now men, womble, to your vehicles!  Bungo your with me!”

They all trooped out to the vans and trucks then headed out through London towards Wimbledon Common. The vans stormed to the common but nobody noticed.  They all parked between Queen’s Mere and the burrow.  Bungo stepped out with the Classiest Window Cleaner and was shocked. “The van!  It’s gone!”  The Classiest Window Cleaner replied calmly “Don’t worry Bungo the vans are there. It’s all done with mirrors!” Bungo tapped the space where van had been and sure enough it was there.  He looked into a mirror that was in his overall pocket and could see the van in it!  Plus all the other vans.

Mrs Peel was heading to the fence of her garden when somebody bumped into her.  It was a womble.  A white womble.  “Madame Cholet!  Do mind out!” she said sternly.  “She is after me!” screamed Madame Cholet.  Catherine Gale bumped into Mrs Peel.  Now she was annoyed.  “Please mind out!  You are the second one to bump into me today!”  Catherine just shouted “The White Dwarf!”  They all just stood there.  In fact they couldn’t help it because the Classy Window Cleaning Company had sprayed them with hypnotic gas!

The window cleaners carried them away to the vans.  Bungo took Madame Cholet.  They headed back to their base.  Tara King walked up to the mere after that.  “Funny” she thought “I swear I heard voices?”.

Dr King wasn’t the best of doctors, but he was alright.  Venus wondered why he kept saying something about losing some dragons, but she just accepted that he was probably just making it up.  Steed, however, knew exactly what he was talking about.  He was talking about losing his dressing gown with pictures of dragons on!  Suddenly, Emma came into the surgery.  “Mrs Peel! I haven’t seen you for a while, why are you upset?”  “Well, it’s partly because I was sprayed with some kind of gas, and taken to a farm where they were cooking onions earlier, but it’s mostly because I’m not Mrs Peel anymore.” Replied Emma.  “What do you mean?” asked Steed.  “I’m Miss Peel now.”  “What? Whatever happened?”