Heavy is the Ed

**Heavy is the Ed** is episode 192 of Edward and Eric. It premiered on Cartoon Network on June 18, 2011.

## Synopsis

Edward takes The Lucky 6 on a trip to the Lakeside City Public Library so he can read one of his favorite books to them. However, they end up getting sucked into the book, where they find a medieval version of Lakeside that's being terrorized by an evil wizard, and it seems like they're the only ones who can stop him...

## Cast

* Andrew Rannells as Edward
* Robert Capron as Eric
* Wayne Grayson as Joey, Medieval Gilbert and Ogre #2
* Gary Sauls as Constantinos, Medieval Mr. Goodman, Medieval Ollie and Ogre #1
* Edward Felker as Stanley, Ogre Captain and Rat
* Dan Green as Dallas and Medieval Steven
* Dee Bradley Baker as Snodgrassamor and Troll
* Mike Pollock as Medieval Principal Walker and Bear #1
* Eric Stuart as Medieval Frankfurt and Skeleton
* Jason Griffith as Medieval Travis
* Veronica Taylor as Medieval Carver and Bear #3
* Rachael Lillis as Medieval Bernadette and Bear #2

## Trivia

* Although this episode premiered in 2011, it was produced in 2010 according to the copyright date at the end of the credits.
* The episode's title is based on the idiom, "Heavy is the head that wears the crown".
* The names of the medieval counterparts for the characters (obviously excluding Snodgrass) are only revealed in the credits.
* This episode is available on its namesake DVD, as well as The Complete Ninth Season DVD box set.
* **Credits:** The Lucky 6 leaves the library.

### Errors

* There is a "jump" between frames when Constantinos exclaims "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CITY?!?!".

## Transcript

(The episode opens with The Lucky 6 walking towards the Lakeside City Public Library)

**Joey:** What are we doing here, again?

**Edward:** I brought you all here so that I could read you one of my favorite books.

**Joey:** But reading is people without social lives! Can't we do something else?

**Stanley:** Come on, Joey. We already did what you wanted to do yesterday. And I don't think Constantinos is ready for another round.

(Constantinos winces in pain as he pulls cactus thorns out of his hand)

**Dallas:** Besides, Edward already told you that the book he has in mind is really worth a read. Just *try* to enjoy yourself, ok?

**Joey:** (groans) Fine.

(They enter the library, which is filled with people reading quietly. Edward leads them through the building)

**Stanley:** So, where's the book you're gonna be reading to us?

(Edward, without a word, continues leading them towards an unmarked door)

**Eric:** Edward, I'm no "Einstein", but I don't think there are any books in there.

**Edward:** (opening the door) Oh, they're not "in" there, they're "down" there.

(Edward opens the door fully, revealing a disused staircase, which the other members of The Lucky 6 look at in amazement)

**Edward:** Come on.

(They begin to walk down the staircase as Edward pulls out a candlestick. Constantinos' foot ends up breaking through one of the rotting wooden steps. Dallas ends up hitting his head on one of the support beams)

**Dallas:** (nonchalantly) Ouch.

(Eventually, they arrive in a dark, open room filled with stacks of boxes and covered furniture. In the corner of the room is a small reading nook with enough chairs for 6 people, and a single bookcase)

**Edward:** There's our spot.

(As they start to walk over to the nook, Constantinos looks around uneasily)

**Constantinos:** Edward, why can't we just take the book and read it upstairs where it's not so, creepy?

(Suddenly, a rat crawls onto Constantinos' left foot)

**Rat:** I prefer to think of it as "atmospheric".

(Constantinos screams as he kicks the rat away)

**Edward:** Well Constantinos, the way I see it, the books they've got down here are, shall we say, too good for everyone else.

**Eric:** But if these books are too good for everyone else, then why are you reading one of them to us?

**Edward:** Good question.

(As the other members of The Lucky 6 sit down in the chairs, Edward sets the candlestick on a nearby box and begins to scroll through the bookcase, which contains numerous books that reference previous episodes, such as a Lakeside City School Student Handbook)

**Edward:** Let's see, here... No... No... No... No...

(Eventually, he finds a book with an illustration of a medieval village and a castle on the cover)

**Edward:** Here we are! The Wizard of Lochside Loch!

**Joey:** "The Wizard of Lochside Loch"? What kind of name is *that*?

**Edward:** It's a book about an evil wizard who terrorizes a medieval village, and a group of warriors who try to stop him.

**Joey:** Well, I can certainly see why you like it so much.

(Dallas immediately punches Joey's arm)

**Joey:** OW!

**Stanley:** Well, Edward, I think we're ready to hear the story.

**Edward:** Alright then, Stanley. Let's begin, shall we?

(Edward opens up the book and begins to read, while Eric, Stanley, Dallas and Constantinos look on with interest)

**Edward:** "Once upon a time, there was a village known as Lochside, which, true to its name, was situated near a loch known as Lochside Loch. Life was peaceful in the village, but everything would soon change when a wizard took up residence on the other side of the loch."

(He turns the page, revealing an illustration of the wizard in question)

**Edward:** "The wizard wanted to show all of the villagers how skilled he was with his magic, but every time he was turned down, likely due to none of the villagers knowing what exactly magic was."

(He turns the page again, revealing an illustration of the wizard firing a blast of magic at some villagers)

**Edward:** "Outraged, the wizard decided that instead of using his powers to help the villagers, he would use his powers to wipe out everyone in the village, and claim it for himself."

(Suddenly, he stops reading. After a moment, he removes his glasses, or, his eyes, and wipes them off on his shirt before putting them back on, and he doesn't seem concerned about the fact that his eyes are now bloodshot)

**Dallas:** Problem, Edward?

**Edward:** Umm, yeah. The illustration on this page looks, different.

**Stanley:** What do you mean?

**Edward:** Well, normally, the wizard looks at the villagers he's blasting, but now he seems to be looking, directly at me...

**Eric:** Lemme see.

(Eric takes the book from Edward, and he sees that, not only is the wizard indeed looking straight at them, but there also seems to be a few dust specks on the page)

**Eric:** Oh, looks like I dropped some of my brain cells on the page. I'll get them off.

(Eric rubs his hand on the page, which begins to shine)

**Edward:** Well, it's certainly never done *that* before...

(The shine slowly becomes brighter, until the entire room becomes engulfed in light, resulting in every member of The Lucky 6 screaming bloody murder)

(Eventually, the light fades away, revealing that the 6 of them are now completely gone, after which the book closes on its own)

(The camera cuts to the sky, where another flash of light occurs. Once this light fades, the 6 is revealed to have been transported here. After a moment, they begin to plummet down to Earth as they scream for their lives, before they land in an open field)

**Joey:** (rubbing his head) Oh, my head. What happened last night?

**Eric:** Uhh, guys? Where did the library go?

**Constantinos:** I think we have bigger problems than the library being gone, Eric. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CITY?!?!

(Constantinos begins frantically running around, looking for a sign of anything besides trees and other plant life)

**Constantinos:** Where's the school?! Where's our apartment?! WHERE'S ANYTHING?!?! WHERE?!?! WHERE?!?!

**Dallas:** (gently restrains Constantinos) Calm down, Constantinos. Let's go and look for some other people, surely they'll know where we are.

(Edward points over at something)

**Edward:** Guys, look! There's civilization over there!

(The camera focuses on a village, which the 6 begins to run towards, unknowingly passing by a sign that says "Now Entering Lochside")

(As they enter the village, they look around at some of the inhabitants, such as a medieval version of Tony eating a turkey leg in one bite, a medieval version of Grayson preparing to shoot arrows at apples placed on Jason, Mason and Hasten's heads, and a medieval version of Mr. Washer cleaning a store's front window)

**Stanley:** Is it just me, or do some of those people look like people we know?

**Edward:** I don't know, Stanley.

(He points at a medieval version of Frankfurt)

**Edward:** That pig character over there doesn't look all that familiar to me.

**Eric:** Hey, it's Frankfurt! Frankfurt, over here!

(Frankfurt turns to them)

**Frankfurt:** Umm, are you talking to me?

**Eric:** Yeah. That is your name, right?

**Frankfurt:** (uncomfortable) Yeah, it is, but why are you talking to me? I don't know any of you.

**Dallas:** Frankfurt, it's us. The Lucky 6.

**Joey:** Yeah, Pork Chops. Don't you recognize us?

**Frankfurt:** No, I don't. I-

(Suddenly, he stops talking and looks closely at Joey)

**Frankfurt:** Wait a minute. You look an awful lot like an ogre.

**Joey:** Excuse me?!

**Frankfurt:** Every ogre I've ever met has been working for Snodgrassamor. So that means you must be more of his minions!!!

(He begins running frantically around in circles)

**Frankfurt:** *RED ALERT!!! RED ALERT!!! MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS!!! SNODGRASSAMOR'S SENT HIS MINIONS TO ATTACK US!!!*

(In an instant, every single citizen surrounds The Lucky 6, with weapons drawn)

**Edward:** Ok, *now* this is starting to feel a lot more familiar.

(Later, The Lucky 6, having been put into chains, are being marched through the village towards a familiar-looking castle by a trio of guards, who are medieval versions of Travis, Steven and Gilbert)

**Stanley:** (whispering) Edward, isn't that the same castle that was on the book's cover?

**Edward:** I think so, Stanley, but it can't be. There aren't any castles like that anywhere in the world.

(Travis yanks the chain, causing Edward to yelp in pain)

**Travis:** Shut up, you bespectacled freak! You'll soon remember King Walker's castle as your final resting place!

**Constantinos:** (whispering) Did he just say, *King* Walker?!

(Before anyone can reply, the procession arrives at the front gates of the castle, where a medieval version of Ollie is standing guard)

**Travis:** Permission to enter. We've captured some of Snodgrassamor's minions.

**Ollie:** Granted. King Walker's gonna enjoy this.

(Ollie looks up at a medieval version of Everson, who's standing on an overlook above the gates, and gives him a thumbs-up, after which Everson pulls a switch, which opens the gates)

**Ollie:** Right this way.

(The guards lead The Lucky 6 through the gates, and into the castle)

(Inside the castle are various tapestries and statues depicting a medieval version of Principal Walker, who is indeed a king, much to the surprise of The Lucky 6)

**Eric:** Principal Walker is the king?

**Dallas:** Surely that can't be our Principal Walker. It's probably just somebody who looks like him.

**Joey:** I don't know, Tiny. Nobody else is that fat.

(Edward, Eric, Stanley and Constantinos laugh at this, only for the guards to stop moving and glare angrily at them)

(The camera immediately cuts to The Lucky 6 being thrown into the castle's dungeon, after which Steven opens a slot on the door to allow him to see them)

**Steven:** You should know that making jokes about King Walker's weight is against the law. I'm sure he'll be *very* interested in seeing you, once he returns from his private chambers.

(He slams the slot shut)

**Edward:** Well, isn't this just great? We've no idea where we are, everybody thinks we're working for this "Snodgrassamor" guy, and now we're about face the wrath of Walker!

**Eric:** I'm sure he won't be too hard on us, Edward. The other students make fun of his weight all the time, and they usually get off easy. Here, we'll ask this guy over here.

(He directs their attention to a skeleton that's chained up beside them)

**Eric:** Excuse me, can you tell us how harsh Walker's punishments are?

(Beat)

**Eric:** That's ok, take your time.

**Stanley:** What I still don't understand is how we ended up here. I mean, we were reading that book, there was a flash, and now, here we are!

**Constantinos:** Wait a minute, Stanley. You don't think that, we were pulled *into* the book, do you?!

**Joey:** Get real, Noodle Arms! That only happens in cartoons.

**Dallas:** Well, it would make sense, considering how everybody's been treating this medieval environment like it's a completely normal thing.

**Edward:** And it would explain why I haven't been getting any readouts of our location, but it wouldn't explain how such a thing happened in the first place. But that's besides the point.

**Joey:** See? I told you guys nothing good would come from reading books!

(Dallas punches Joey's arm)

**Joey:** OW!

**Stanley:** Well, we've gotta figure out how to get out of this book, otherwise-

(The guards suddenly burst in, and immediately put The Lucky 6 back into chains)

**Gilbert:** Get a move on, creeps. It's time for you to face King Walker.

**Stanley:** -this won't end well.

(The guards begin to lead the 6 out of the dungeon)

**Eric:** Don't worry, Stanley. Maybe he'll go easy on us if we explain ourselves. (to the skeleton) Right, buddy?

**Skeleton:** No, you're pretty much doomed. I'd wish you good luck, but it won't help you.

**Eric:** Oh. Well, thank you anyways.

(Gilbert slams the door shut, as the camera cuts to Walker's throne room. There, we see Walker sitting on his throne, as his chancellor, a medieval version of Mr. Goodman, stands close by)

**Principal Walker:** Those guards had better have a *very* good reason for waking me up from my nap early, Goodman.

**Mr. Goodman:** Like I told you before, sir, this could be a very important day for Lochside. They said that they've captured some of Snodgrassamor's minions, from whom we'll be able to get information on how to stop Snodgrassamor from attacking us again.

**Principal Walker:** Oh yeah, that guy. He's caused enough damage to my kingdom as it is. If he keeps at it for even a second longer, the time we spend fixing things might interfere with my sleep schedule!

**Mr. Goodman:** Well, if we can get his minions to talk, you won't have to worry about that possibility.

(At that moment, the guards enter the throne room, bringing The Lucky 6 with them)

**Travis:** (bows down to Walker) Your majesty. We bring you these six prisoners, who are working for the wizard, Snodgrassamor.

**Principal Walker:** Alright, you lowlifes. Hurry up and tell us how to stop Snodgrassamor so I can get back to sleep.

**Edward:** My apologies, your highness, but my friends and I aren't supposed to be here.

**Principal Walker:** Darn right you're not! Snodgrassamor and his goons aren't welcome in my kingdom.

**Dallas:** But that's just it. We aren't working for Snodgrassamor.

**Principal Walker:** And how do you expect me to believe *that?*

**Eric:** Because we've only just arrived in this place a little while ago. We fell out of the sky, and when we went into the village, people just assumed we were working with Snodgrassamor, and now, here we are, inside your castle.

(Beat)

**Principal Walker:** Well, that's a fair explanation you've got there.

(The Lucky 6 look at one another with relieved expressions)

**Principal Walker:** Too bad I didn't believe any of it.

(The 6's faces fall as Walker says this)

**Gilbert:** Oh, and one more thing, your majesty. (points at Joey) This little runt made a joke about your weight earlier. He said something about how "nobody else is that fat", and if I recall, the other prisoners found it quite amusing.

(Walker's face turns red as smoke steams out of his ears, while a stock sound effect of a train's whistle plays in the background)

**Principal Walker:** HE WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!

**Dallas:** Oh no.

**Principal Walker:** **GUARDS!!!** Take these prisoners to the chopping block!

**Constantinos:** (nervously) Chop?

(The camera pans over to a chopping block, which a pumpkin has been placed on. Suddenly, an axe chops the pumpkin clean in half, and the camera pans out to reveal an executioner, who is a medieval version of Carver, holding the axe. Carver laughs menacingly as he looks directly at the 6, who scream bloody murder as the guards begin to drag them towards him)

**Edward:** (in the background) NO!!! PLEASE!!! GIVE US A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN!!!

**Stanley:** (in the background) WE AREN'T WORKING FOR SNODGRASSAMOR!!!

**Eric:** (in the background) BUT I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO TRY HANG-GLIDING!!!

**Joey:** (in the background) MOMMY!!!

(While Walker is still fuming, Mr. Goodman is concerned about the 6)

**Mr. Goodman:** Sir, I think they might actually be telling the truth! We have to stop those guards!

**Principal Walker:** Quiet, Goodman! Those maggots are gonna pay the price for making fun of *my* weight!

**Mr. Goodman:** But sir-

(Walker is eating some popcorn while watching the ongoing event, not paying Mr. Goodman any mind)

**Mr. Goodman:** (facepalms) Oh, for pete's sake!

(Mr. Goodman begins to run towards the chopping block, as Steven forces Joey's head down onto it)

**Steven:** You're up first, shorty.

**Joey:** Is it, too late to apologize for calling the king fat?

**Steven:** Yes. (to Carver) Have at it.

(The camera cuts to Mr. Goodman unsheathing his sword as he approaches the chopping block)

**Mr. Goodman:** **STOP!!!!!**

(Joey braces himself as Carver swings his axe, but just before it hits, Mr. Goodman stops Carver by using his sword to block the axe, much to everyone's shock)

(Carver, enraged, pushes the axe down harder, leading to an intense stalemate between him and Mr. Goodman, during which Joey hastily squirms away from the chopping block)

(Eventually, Mr. Goodman manages to overpower Carver, causing him to lose his balance and fall backward onto the floor, followed by his axe, which lands dangerously close to his head. He slowly sits up and worriedly looks at Mr. Goodman)

**Mr. Goodman:** (sheathing his sword) I see you listened.

**Principal Walker:** GOODMAN!!! Why did you stop the execution?!

**Mr. Goodman:** Because they aren't working for Snodgrassamor, sir. (to the guards) Leave the prisoners with us. I'll deal with them.

**Travis:** Uhh, yes, sir.

(As the guards leave the room, Mr. Goodman removes The Lucky 6 from the chains)

**Mr. Goodman:** You'll have to excuse our guards' treatment of you. Our kingdom hasn't been in a good place ever since Snodgrassamor moved into the castle on the other side of the loch. He's been attacking us relentlessly for months, now. That's why everyone's been cautious about letting newcomers into the village.

**Stanley:** Wait a minute, sir. Could I have a moment with my friends, please?

**Mr. Goodman:** Certainly.

(Stanley leads the other members of The Lucky 6 a few steps away from Walker and Mr. Goodman before bringing them into a huddle)

**Edward:** What's this about, Stanley?

**Stanley:** Don't you remember? In the book, a wizard began terrorizing a village, leading to a group of warriors being sent out to stop him.

**Joey:** So, you're trying to say that we should be that group of warriors?

**Stanley:** Exactly.

**Constantinos:** I don't know, Stanley. It sounds pretty dangerous.

**Dallas:** Well, maybe if we can stop the wizard, the king would let us go free.

**Eric:** Which would give us time to figure out how to get out of this book! I think.

(They exit the huddle and walk back towards Walker and Mr. Goodman)

**Edward:** Your majesty, we have a proposition for you. If we go and stop Snodgrassamor, would you be willing to let us go free?

**Principal Walker:** Anything if it means I can get back to focusing on what's really important.

**Dallas:** The safety and wellbeing of your kingdom and its inhabitants?

**Principal Walker:** NO! My *own* safety and wellbeing! Now if you excuse me, I have some important business to attend to.

(He heads into his private chambers, and almost immediately after the door shuts, loud snoring is heard)

**Mr. Goodman:** I knew I made the right choice saving your lives. But I'll warn you now that this will be no small task.

**Edward:** Don't worry, sir. We know what we're getting into.

**Joey:** Yeah, that wizard won't be any match for us!

(The camera pans back to reveal that the events are being viewed on a crystal ball, which is seen from the perspective of Snodgrassamor)

**Snodgrassamor:** (offscreen) So, those big-headed fools think they can stop me? Well, with all the traps I'll be laying for them, they'll soon be brought down, six feet!

(He laughs maniacally as the camera fades to black)

(Commercial break)

(Afterwards, Mr. Goodman is seen leading The Lucky 6 through one of the castle's hallways)

**Mr. Goodman:** Now, if you're going to face Snodgrassamor, you'll need to be suited up with some armor.

(He opens a door leading to the castle's armory, and as the 6 enters, they marvel at all of the armor and weaponry on display)

**Mr. Goodman:** Take whatever you'd like.

(As the 6 begins to put some of the armor on, Eric walks over to a shield made of reflective material, and as he looks at it, the reflection of his face becomes distorted)

**Eric:** (laughs) Hey guys, this shield makes my face look funny.

(Stanley walks over to the shield and looks at it, but the reflection of his face seems normal)

**Stanley:** I don't see what you see, Eric.

(As Stanley turns and walks away, we see that his face is actually distorted for real)

(As Constantinos finishes putting his armor on, he picks up a sword. However, he quickly begins to be overwhelmed by the weight of it, resulting in him nearly dropping the sword onto himself, but Dallas grabs the sword in the nick of time, before taking it from him)

**Dallas:** Maybe you should just use a bow. (hands Constantinos a bow and a container of arrows)

**Constantinos:** Uhh, (chuckles) good idea.

(Eventually, the camera shows The Lucky 6 with their armor and weapons. Edward and Joey have swords, Eric has a flail, Stanley and Constantinos have bows, and Dallas has a cudgel)

**Edward:** I think we're ready, sir.

**Mr. Goodman:** Alright. Before you go, I have one more thing for you.

(He pulls out a map and hands it to Edward)

**Mr. Goodman:** It's a map of the kingdom. If there's a place you gotta get, it'll get you there, I bet. In this case, Snodgrassamor's castle.

**Dallas:** Thank you, sir. We won't let you down.

(The 6 begins to make their way out of the armory)

**Mr Goodman:** Remember, boys. Snodgrassamor is a very unpredictable sort. You'll need to stay alert and expect the unexpected. Good luck.

(The camera cuts to The Lucky 6 exiting the village)

**Edward:** (reading the map) Alright, to get to Snodgrassamor's castle, it looks like we'll just have to follow this path around the loch.

**Stanley:** Actually, it looks like there might be a few different paths we could take. (points at a bridge drawn on the map) There's a bridge that leads over the ravine.

**Eric:** (points at a forest drawn on the map) And a path through this big clump of trees, here.

**Joey:** So, which way are we going then, Four Eyes?

**Edward:** Well, it looks like both of these paths are about the same length, so we could split up if we want.

**Dallas:** Alright then. You, Eric and Stanley can go through the forest, and Joey, Constantinos and I can go over the bridge.

**Edward:** (points at a tree drawn on the map) And then we'll all meet up at this conveniently-located tree right here.

**Eric:** Convenient!

**Stanley:** Sounds good. Alright, let's move out, everyone!

(The 6 splits up into their groups as they proceed down their respective paths)

(The camera cuts to Edward, Eric and Stanley walking through the forest, when Eric stops suddenly)

**Edward:** Eric, why did you-

**Eric:** Hold on. (sniffs) I smell something.

**Stanley:** Really? I can't smell anything.

**Eric:** It's something close. Follow me!

(Eric gets down on all fours and begins smelling the ground as he tracks the smell not unlike a dog, and Edward and Stanley follow him)

(Suddenly, Eric rams headfirst into a table, and he stands up and rubs his head, he sees three bowls of porridge placed on the table)

**Eric:** Ah, I thought I recognized that scent!

**Stanley:** Porridge?

**Eric:** Yes, porridge! I could smell it calling to my stomach from a mile away!

(He extends his tongue over to one of the bowls, but Edward slaps it away from the bowl just before it reaches it)

**Edward:** ERIC, DON'T!!!

**Eric:** Don't? I can't "don't" right now, Edward. There's food to be eaten!

**Edward:** Can't you see? (he points at a few specks that are on the porridge) Those are the same specks that were on the book's page.

**Stanley:** Those must be from the wizard. I think he's expecting us.

**Eric:** If that's the case, it would be rude of us to keep him waiting. Let's go.

(They head off down the path. Shortly afterwards, a trio of bears walk up to the table)

**Bear #1:** Ah, glad to see nobody's touched our porridge this time.

**Bear #2:** I know. It feels like it's been forever since that's happened.

**Bear #3:** What are we waiting for? Let's eat!

(They each eat some of the porridge, but they stop suddenly before dropping dead on the spot)

(Meanwhile, Joey, Dallas and Constantinos are walking down another path, as the bridge comes into view)

**Constantinos:** There's the bridge. We must be getting close.

(As they approach the bridge, Dallas takes notice of the bridge's poor condition, and he stops Joey and Constantinos)

**Dallas:** I don't know if it'll be able to hold all three of us at once. Let's cross one at a time.

**Joey:** (looks at Constantinos) Ladies first.

**Dallas:** Alright then.

(He immediately shoves Joey towards the bridge)

**Joey:** HEY! You barbarian!

(Joey grumbles under his breath as he prepares to cross the bridge, when a troll suddenly jumps out from beneath it, causing Joey to stop in his tracks)

**Troll:** Hold it right there, you!

**Joey:** What's the big idea, bud?! I'm trying to cross this bridge, here!

**Troll:** (looks Joey up and down) You look a lot like one of those freaks Snodgrassamor told me to watch out for. He's paying me a pretty penny to keep you from getting any closer to his castle. Turn back now, or I'll eat you!

**Joey:** Well, uhh, you don't want to eat me. See, I haven't eaten anything healthy in weeks. If you ate me, you'll probably get some kind of disease or something.

**Troll:** (horrified) Uhh, you can go across. Sorry about that.

**Joey:** You made the right choice. Besides, I've got some friends behind me, and they're much more appetizing than me.

(He laughs under his breath as he crosses the bridge, before Constantinos walks up to it)

**Troll:** You there! You must be another one of those freaks. I suggest you turn back, unless you'd like your bones picked clean.

**Constantinos:** Are you sure that's worth your time, Mr. Troll? My bones don't really have much *to* pick off.

(The camera shows a painted closeup of Constantinos' bony arm)

**Troll:** Hmmm, you're right. Get outta my sight.

(Constantinos crosses the bridge, with Dallas walking up to the troll as he does)

**Troll:** Stop right there, big fella! If you know what's good for you, you'll turn back now, or I'll-

(Suddenly, Dallas punches the troll, knocking him unconscious)

**Dallas:** Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

(He nonchalantly crosses the bridge. Afterwards, the three of them walk up to a large tree, where Edward, Eric and Stanley are waiting for them)

**Edward:** Glad to see you guys made it.

**Dallas:** Likewise to you. I think Snodgrassamor knows we’re coming, he had a troll guarding the bridge back there.

**Stanley:** And he laid out a trap for us back in the forest.

**Eric:** Hey, look over there, guys!

(He points to something in the distance, and the camera pans over to reveal Snodgrassamor’s castle)

**Eric:** It’s Snodgrassamor’s castle!

**Joey:** Well, let’s get in there and take him down, then!

**Constantinos:** I don’t think it’ll be that easy, Joey. He may have more traps waiting for us.

**Joey:** Don’t be such a baby, Noodle Arms. There’s no more traps. Here, I’ll prove it to you.

(He advances towards the castle, only to step on a branch, resulting in a gang of ogres popping out from behind some bushes)

**Stanley:** (deadpan) You were saying?

**Ogre Captain:** Where do you think you’re going?

**Eric:** To the castle!

**Ogre Captain:** No you ain’t! I’m afraid your quest ends here. CHARGE!!!

(The ogres rush towards The Lucky 6 with their weapons drawn)

**Edward:** CHARGE!!!

(The 6 draw their weapons and rush towards the ogres)

(One of the ogres swings his club towards Edward, but Edward swiftly dodges the club and swings his sword towards the ogre’s arm, causing his entire body to deflate like a balloon)

(Another ogre picks up a boulder and chucks it towards Eric, who gleefully swings his flail at it, as if it were a baseball bat. This sends the boulder flying back towards the ogre, crushing him)

(Joey is having a sword fight with one of the other ogres, when another ogre joins in, resulting in Joey being overpowered. Before they can finish him off, however, arrows are shot through both of the ogres’ stomachs, and they both collapse, revealing Stanley and Constantinos standing behind them, them having shot the arrows, as they high-five each other)

(Yet another ogre runs towards Dallas, who’s standing stoically in place, and punches him as hard as he can. However, this doesn’t even cause Dallas to flinch, instead it results in the ogre shattering to pieces)

(The 6 then surround the Ogre Captain, him being the only one remaining)

**Stanley:** It’s over. (aims an arrow at him) You’ve lost.

**Ogre Captain:** Hold on! You have to spare me!

**Joey:** After you just tried to kill us? Don’t make me laugh.

**Ogre Captain:** I never wanted to kill you! (drops his weapon) None of us did.

(The 6, taken aback, lower their weapons)

**Constantinos:** What?

**Ogre Captain:** My people were recruited by Snodgrassamor to fight for him. We’ve never wanted to fight anyone, but he threatened to kill us if we didn’t. On top of that, he doesn’t even give us any breaks or days off. But your performance has given me confidence that you’ll be able to stop Snodgrassamor, and then all of my people will be free again.

**Edward:** You really think so?

**Ogre Captain:** I know so. I’ll even help you get inside the castle.

**Dallas:** Much obliged.

(The Ogre Captain leads the 6 closer to the castle, where two ogres are guarding the door)

**Ogre Captain:** Stay back here until I give you my signal.

**Edward:** Right.

(The Ogre Captain approaches the two ogres)

**Ogre #1:** (salutes) Captain.

**Ogre Captain:** Listen, you two. Those guys that Snodgrassamor wanted us to kill might actually be able to stop him for good. So I’ll need you to, you know, act natural as they go in.

**Ogre #2:** Yes, Captain. We can do that.

(The Ogre Captain gives a thumbs-up to the 6, who proceed towards the castle)

**Ogre #1:** Gee, it sure is boring around here.

**Ogre #2:** Yeah, but at least that means less work for us today.

(As the ogres say the above lines, the Ogre Captain cracks the castle’s door open, and the 6 quickly enter. Inside, they find themselves in the castle’s foyer)

**Dallas:** Alright, now we’ve just gotta find Snodgrassamor.

**Snodgrassamor:** (offscreen) Well, you’ve just found him.

(A blast of magic is fired at the 6, and it knocks them down to the ground. Snodgrassamor comes into view after this, revealing himself to be, unsurprisingly, a medieval version of Snodgrass)

**Eric:** Oh, hi Snodgrass. Can you tell us where Snodgrassamor is?

**Snodgrassamor:** I am Snodgrassamor, you dunce! I don’t know who Snodgrass is, but he sounds like a loser.

**Joey:** You’re dead right about that, Snotty Boy.

**Edward:** Never mind that, we’re here to stop you!

**Snodgrassamor:** Oh yes, I’m well aware of that. After all, that’s always been how the story goes.

**Constantinos:** What do you mean?

**Snodgrassamor:** Are you braindead or something? You should already know how my story ends, it’s written in my book!

**Stanley:** (surprised) You, know that you’re in a book?

**Snodgrassamor:** OF COURSE I KNOW THAT I’M IN A BOOK!!! How could I not?! Every time things are looking up for me, I always get stopped by a bunch of warriors!

**Eric:** Aw, did you have to spoil the ending?

**Snodgrassamor:** (ignoring Eric) I knew I had to find a way to change things, so I decided to call in some, outside assistance.

**Edward:** So, you’re the reason we got sucked into the book?

**Snodgrassamor:** Didn’t take you long to figure that one out. And it was quite simple, really. All I had to do was cast a spell on the book to make it pull you in when you opened it, and then you would inevitably take the place of those warriors. And now that you’re here, all that’s left for me to do is take you down, and I will rule Lochside forever!

**Joey:** Not if we take you down first!

(He charges at Snodgrassamor with his sword drawn, but Snodgrassamor teleports behind him at the last second fires a blast of magic at him, knocking him off his feet)

(Stanley and Constantinos shoot some arrows at Snodgrassamor, but he uses his magic to deflect the arrows towards them, which Stanley and Constantinos manage to dodge in the nick of time, resulting in them striking a painting of Snodgrassamor instead)

(Snodgrassamor then fires a blast of magic at Eric, but as he attempts to deflect it with his flail, this only disintegrates it. He then dodges another blast as he takes cover behind a box, which Snodgrassamor blasts, disintegrating it. Eric then takes cover behind a flipped table, which Snodgrassamor also blasts)

(Before Snodgrassamor can try to blast Eric again, however, Dallas swings his cudgel at him, sending him flying across the room into the wall)

**Edward:** (offscreen) Hey, Snodgrassamor!

(As Snodgrassamor recovers, he looks over to see Edward nonchalantly waving at him. Snodgrassamor cackles madly as he begins to summon some magic)

**Dallas:** Edward! What are you doing?!

**Edward:** Finishing this!

**Stanley:** But that’s insane!

**Edward:** I’ve got it all under control!

**Snodgrassamor:** YOU’RE DEAD!

(He fires a big blast of magic at Edward)

**Eric, Joey, Stanley, Dallas and Constantinos:** **NO!!!**

(Just before the blast hits him, Edward ducks down, revealing that he’s been standing in front of a mirror, which reflects the blast back towards Snodgrassamor, who screams when he realizes what’s happening)

(The blast hits Snodgrassamor, resulting in his entire body being burnt black. After a few seconds, his body disintegrates, with only his eyeballs remaining intact)

(After this, Edward walks towards the other members of the 6)

**Edward:** Told you I had it under control.

**Constantinos:** H-, how did you think to do that?!

**Edward:** Well, that’s how the story goes. In his blind rage to stop the warriors, the wizard blasts a mirror by mistake, and the blast reflects off the mirror and hits him, instead.

**Snodgrassamor:** Oh, come on! How do I always forget that part?!

**Dallas:** Well, I guess we should go and tell everyone the good news.

(Outside the castle, the ogres are waiting by door, which the 6 open up)

**Ogre #1:** Did you stop Snodgrassamor?

**Joey:** You tell us!

(He holds out a mason jar with Snodgrassamor’s remains in it)

**Ogre Captain:** You did! (hugs them) I knew you could do it!

**Ogre #2:** Come on Captain, let’s go spread the word to the others!

(The three of them happily run off, as the camera cuts to The Lucky 6 reentering Lochside. A medieval version of Bernadette spots the 6 from a cottage’s window)

**Bernadette:** EVERYONE! THEY’VE RETURNED!

(Everyone rushes to greet the 6)

**Mr. Goodman:** (offscreen) Make way for the king!

(The crowd parts to allow Walker and Mr. Goodman to the front of the crowd)

**Edward:** Sir, I’m happy to say, your kingdom won’t have to worry about Snodgrassamor anymore.

(He holds out Snodgrassamor’s jar, and every citizen cheers as Walker takes the jar)

**Principal Walker:** This’ll go great next to my toenail clipping collection!

(Snodgrassamor whimpers as Walker leaves with the jar)

**Mr. Goodman:** I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done. If there’s anything I can do to repay you, let me know.

**Eric:** You could get me a better spelling book. (he holds up a book titled “Spells”) This one I found in Snodgrassamor’s castle only talks about magic.

**Edward:** Hold on, let me see that.

(He takes the book and skims through it, finding a page listing the “Pull people into the book” spell)

**Edward:** This must be the spell he placed on the book. I’ll just make a few adjustments.

(He rips the page out of the book and begins to rewrite the spell)

**Stanley:** Stand back everyone.

(The crowd moves back as Edward finishes)

**Edward:** You ready go back to Lakeside, everyone?

**Dallas:** As we’ll ever be.

**Edward:** Alright. (reads the new spell) Alacazam, Alacazook. Remove the readers from the book!

(Another flash of light occurs, engulfing the entire village. Once it fades, The Lucky 6 is revealed to be gone once again)

(The camera cuts back to the library, where the book opens on its own as yet another flash of light occurs. The light fades to reveal the 6 has been removed from the book)

**Constantinos:** We’re home!

**Joey:** I never thought I’d be so happy be back in this dump.

**Edward:** (folds the spell up and sticks in in his pocket) So, are you all glad we came to the library today?

**Stanley:** I’d say so, Edward. That was an amazing adventure, even if we almost died a few times.

**Dallas:** I would have to agree with that assessment.

**Skeleton:** (offscreen) Indeed.

(The camera pans over to reveal that the skeleton from the dungeon has been removed from the book as well, much to the 6’s shock)

**Skeleton:** My apologies for doubting you guys before.

**Eric:** It’s alright. We had a lot of fun. Bye, now!

**Skeleton:** Bye, friend!

(He laughs cheerfully as he jumps into the book, which closes on its own once more)

(Iris out)

(“The End” screen)

(Episode ends)

(Credits scene begins with The Lucky 6 leaving the library)

**Eric:** So guys, what do you want to do tomorrow?

**Joey:** Ooh! Can we do what I want to do, again?

**Constantinos:** You know what, that sounds fun right about now.

**Joey:** Yes!

**Constantinos:** But only if you get to be “it” this time. Unless you’d like to do what I want to do.

(Joey stares at the camera in defeat)

(Closing logos)