2005 Homestead 350

The **2005 Homestead 350** at Homestead Miami Speedway is the most historic race in the entire history of Piston Cup Racing for Johnny Blamer's epic win (which was the only victory of his Piston Cup career since his very few finishes and most of his crashes). This race was called "Johnny's Epic Win".

Johnny had started 7th on the grid, a record high for him. He took the lead on lap 136. However on lap 138 and is also the main reason why Chick Hicks crashed, he was in 2nd place trying to crash him. However, it failed and Chick Hicks crashed into Davey Apex sending them both out. Blamer survived but lost the lead to The King.

Johnny retook the lead on lap 191. With only 9 laps left it was almost sure to be a win. However, on lap 195, he was overtaken by Todd Marcus. On Lap 197, Johnny retook the lead but lost it to Todd again. However, Johnny pushed Todd into the wall retaking the lead and keeping it until his historic victory.

This was Johnny's only win. Johnny, who never had dated, married, or had any girlfriends would win the heart of an 18-year-old girl named Abigail after his win. They would marry just over a year later.

It was reported Johnny was so overcome with emotion that he had to be comforted by his crew chief and pitties. He also cried with joy on the podium and during an interview with Turbowitz when Todd Marcus said a REALLY mean comment to him (but it was not broadcast to the public).

Johnny runs a green and white paint scheme in this race and diecasts of the paint scheme are only "Collector's Edition" paint schemes.

After the race, the racers one bye one, congratulated him, all but two, Todd Marcus and Chick Hicks, Chick was getting repaired after his crash so he could not attend the winner circle even, if he would have attended the winners circle, he would have bullied blamer.

Back to Todd, Todd called Blamer many rude stuff including swear words and brainless, which caused him to cry so hard, the racers stood up for Blamer and defended him by not agreeing with Todd, Murray Said something about Todd's behavior and Todd then insulted Murray Clutchburn for his comment about his behavior and bulling towards Blamer, however, Murray did not get upset. After Todd Insulted Blamer and Murray, Todd was booed, Todd Received a 2 race ban and Todd's wife divorced him.

## Transcript

### Chick Hicks and Davey Apex Crash

Chick: TAKE THIS, JOHNNY!

Johnny: See ya, loser! (makes contact with Chick causing Chick to spin)

Chick: ARGH!

Bob: OH NO! CHICK HICKS AND DAVEY APEX CRASHING!

Darrell: OH NO!

### Chick Hicks turns Jeff Gorvette

Chick: SCREW YOU, JERK GORVETTE! (turns Jeff Gorvette)

Bob: Trouble turn 3! Jeff Gorvette collects Aiken Axler sending him across the field!

Darrell Cartrip: And he takes out Matt Carseth, Mark Cartin, Kevin Shiftright and Billy Oilchanger! And even Floyd Mulvihill!

Bob: Darn, 7 cars involved there. Let's see the replay. Chick Hicks turns Jeff Gorvette, causing him to send him across the field taking out Aiken, Matt, Mark, Kevin, Floyd, and Billy. That's some good damage. Let's see the result.

(Aiken Axler is being towed away)

Aiken Axler: No I am still able to race! I can be fixed you know!

(Jeff Gorvette is also being towed away)

Jeff Gorvette: Really? I thought I did not take much damage!

### Laps before Johnny's win and Johnny's win

Bob: It's lap 193 and Johnny Blamer has taken the lead again! Here comes Rusty Wallace! He passes Kurt Buschtire! Rusty's now in the top 10.

Darrell: He has been flawless through this race, but can he actually do this?

Bob: I don't know Darrell. It's possible that someone that may crash into him any second, that's what it's been like for him since his Piston Cup career started in 1995. Johnny Blamer has started more times then I could count and only finished probably about 25 times. He only got higher than the seventh finishing spot once in 2002. He finished fifth that time and has his only top 5. It's lap 195 now and Johnny Blamer is still leading.

Darrell: OH NO! Marcus is making a move! It is looking like a win looks unlikely now but hey at least he is in the lead.

Bob: Lap 196 and Todd Marcus's STILL in the lead.

(Cars revving, goes to Todd's onboard camera and then to Lightning McQueen's)

Bob Cutlass: Lap 197 and Johnny TAKES BACK THE LEAD!

Darrell: YES!

(Lap 199)

Bob: HERE COMES RUSTY WALLACE PASSING MCQUEEN FOR 3RD!

Darrell: It's nearly the finish and TODD MARCUS IS ALMOST THERE, ONE LAP MORE! ONE LAP MORE! HE IS CLOSE! INCREDIBLY CLOSE!

Bob: NOW JOHNNY BLAMER FIGHTS HIM ON THE INSIDE!

Darrell: WHO'S GONNA WIN THIS RACE!

Bob: THEY CONTINUE TO FIGHT! THEY'RE COMMING TO THE FLAG!

Johnny: This is a payback for crashing me so many times! Victory is mine now, sucker! (pushes Todd Marcus)

Bob: **BLAMER PUSHES MARCUS!!!!! OH NO, MARCUS IS GONNA SAVE IT BUT WE DON'T CARE!** IT IS 6:23 PM EASTERN TIME AT HOMESTEAD MIAMI SPEEDWAY, JOHNNY BLAMER CROSSES THE FINISH LINE IN THE FIRST PLACE TO GET AN ABSOLUTELY EPIC WIN! IT'S JOHNNY BLAMER FOR THE WIN! IT'S JOHNNY BLAMER FOR THE SO SO MOTHER FREAKING WIN! WHAT A WAY TO FINISH THIS RACE! WHAT A WAY TO FINISH THIS FREAKING RACE! OH MY GOD! IT'S SO HISTORIC! SO SO HISTORIC!

(The three jets, Terry, Larry, and Henry, fly over the Homestead Miami Speedway as everyone celebrates the win of Johnny Blamer)

Darrell: Are you kidding me? (faints)

Bob: SO EXCITING that my co-worker literally fainted. Wow.

(Bob throws water on him and he comes back)

(Bob switches the soundtrack to We Are The Champions by Queen)

Johnny (earrape and bawling with massive tears of joy): ***YES! (Dolphin Censor) (Popeye toot) YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING! OR WHAT! DID I JUST (Yee) WON? OH YEAH, I DID! I WON! I WON! I WON! I (Popeye toot) WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELL YEAH!!!! THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY IN MY WHOLE GOD (Serbia Strong) LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSS! THIS IS ACTUALLY REAL! AND I WON AGAINST THE STUPID BEN'S HOT SAUCE NATION!!!!!!!!!!! I DID IT!!! YES!!! NOW I CAN HAVE SOMETHING AT BURGER KING!!!! THE BIGGEST WHOPPER IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!! THAT IS RIGHT!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!! HISTORIC!!!!!!!!! BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY BOOGITY!!!!!! LET'S GO RACING BOYS AND GIRLS AND THE EARTH AND GREENEY CAUSE I JUST WON THIS RACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON!!!! I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!! GUYS!!! AFTER ALL MY LIFE AS A MAGNET FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WON!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! (Seal Bark) (Popeye toot) (Yee) YEAH!!!!! HOLY (3x Dolphin Censor)!!!!!!! LOOK AT THE DOLPHINS!!!!! THEY MUST BE ATTENDING THIS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC RACE TOO!!!!!!! POPEYE, YEE DINOSAUR AS WELL AS THAT T REX FROM JURASSIC PARK, SEALS, EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE EPIC WIN FOR THE FREAKING PLANET MARS!!!! OH AND ALSO THE NATION OF FINLAND!!!!! AND ROGER WHEELER AND THE DOLPHINS AND WHALES TOO!!!!! DINOCO AND EASY IDLE ARE GODLY!!!!!!!! AND THE KING!!!!! OH AND FINLAND AS WELL!!!!!!!! I (Popeye toot) WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***

Faux Wheel Drive Pitty: Oh (Popeye toot)! The radio broke!

Faux Wheel Drive Crew Chief: Who cares. Let Johnny celebrate I mean HE JUST WON A (Yee) RACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darrell: There's gonna be celebrations until MIDNIGHT!

Bob: Yeah. Now to Kori Turbowitz who is interviewing the other racers about this epic win.

### Racers on Johnny's win

(I'm Me by Dale Carrett plays by RSN)

Kori: So, Johnny Blamer, the racers one by one are coming to congratulate you for this amazing win! Other retired racers will come as well!

Johnny: Alright! Please come now!

The King: You did good kid.

Lightning: You did pretty well.

Tony: That was absolutely HISTORIC! Even better than my 2002 season when I won the Piston Cup!

Winford: Absolutely deserved, he is probably the most hard-working guy on the circuit. Truly well deserved.

Jeff Gorvette: Having debuted with him in after 10 years, it's great to see him win.

Murray: Out of all of us who raced today only Johnny didn't get a win. Slider won his 1st in 2004, Todd won his first in 2004 as well. But we are all happy that he, too, has got a win. Welcome to the winner's circle, Johnny. And I mean for the first time!

Dale Jr: For real, I thought this would never happen but today you proved me wrong! You freaking did it man!

Haul: I know you witnessed my terrible crash at Calladega in 2002 but what you go through is easily worse crashing in every race. I'm really happy to see you win Johnny.

Ralph: I can understand that feeling. Please enjoy the win with your friends and family and I hope you have a great time with your trophy.

Billy: Superb! Johnny, I would have never seen this coming. I have to agree with Dirkson though, you really proved me wrong.

Davey: Congratulations.

Darrell Draggered: Please celebrate your victory.

Matt: Nice one, Magnet Face!

Kurt: Well done! I will never forget this race now.

Ponchy: Congratulations.

Manny: You proved me wrong Johnny! Actually you proved everybody wrong!

Slider: Well done! As Kurt Buschtire said, I won't forget this!

Misti: Congratulations on the victory!

Aiken: Great stuff out there!

Darren: I agree with Aiken!

Floyd: Congratulations! That was a very crazy historic race!

Dale Carrett: Congratulations! I hope you spend time with your family and friends as they will be proud!

Claude: I agree with Aiken and Darren!

Kevin Shiftright: I loved seeing you winning today, I remember when I got my first win, and was epic, and I bet your feeling the same way as I did, please celebrate your victory and make this the best day ever

Kevin Carvick: Depsite you being a Magnet face, you are a Kind and caring person, your personality and your emotionless makes all 35 of us love you, we will care for you and support you, way to go Johnny on your first win

Greg Candyman: YOU'RE WELCOMED TO BUY CANDY FROM TACH-O-MINT AT ANY TIME!

Davey: Epic win Blamer!

Rowley Boltstrike: YOUR WIN IS REMEMBERABLE, I'LL GIVE IT 10 OUT OF 10!

Gerald Leadfoot: THAT'S MY MAGNET FACE WINNER, EPIC WIN TODAY BLAMER!

James: Johnny, This was a cool win.

Chuck: EPIC, EPIC, EPICCCCCCC!

Aiken: Johnny, you proved the whole racing world wrong, everyone thought you where unable to win and had the worst luck, but today, you proved the whole world wrong, that somewhere inside, you are a winner, SUCH AN EPIC WIN! I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS MOMMENT JOHNNY, YOU ROCK!

Sage: Good Job Today Johnny, impressive win!

### Todd Marcus Bullies Blamer

Todd: What the (Serbia Strong)? How can this guy win? The King is clearly SUPERIOR and FASTER than him. He SHOULD NOT have won by all means of logic! I, The Shockster, is better than that stupid (Dolphin Censor) heartless racer in all ways possible!

Johnny (in tears): Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! I am not heartless!

Todd: No?! Then you are (Yee) brainless!

(The racers and Kori gasped at that comment as a record scratch sound plays. The music changes to the Sad Violin song. Johnny started to cry and drives away.)

Todd: Ha! What a (Popeye Toot) crybaby!

Dale Jr.: Oh my God.

Jeff Gorvette: What the heck was that for?

Lightning: I thought you were nice!

Darren: Why did you seriously have to ruin his day like that, you bully?

The King: Todd, that was very disgraceful.

Chuck: Yeah! So disgraceful, man!

Gerald Leadfoot: And VERY disgusting!

Haul Inngas: AND SO EXTREMELY SUPER DUPER ULTRA MEGA DESPICABLE!

The King: You made him cry so hard that now he has left the winner's circle!

Tony: You toxic bully, why did you do that to Blamer?

Dale Carrett: in all of my years of racing, I have never seen a rant so toxic as this.

Chuck (sobs): I HATE YOU TODD! Johnny is a very nice person! UNLIKE YOU MEAN RED CAR! A TOXIC AND DISGRACEFUL JERK!

Todd: JOHNNY IS A LOSER! (Popeye toot) HIM!

### Murray Clutchburn Stands Up For Blamer

Murray: Todd, You need to stop this behavior right now, your acted like a toxic jerk. WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU BULLY BLAMER LIKE THAT!? YOU RUINED HIS DAY AND YOU MADE HIM CRY SO HARD, I THOUGHT YOUR WERE NICE! I REALLY DID! BUT-(gets interrupted by Todd)

Todd: SHUT UP, YOU MOTHER-(Popeye Toot)! I HATE YOU TOO! I HATE YOU ALL! JUNKY BLACKER SUCKS! AND SO DOES MURRAY FOR BEING A BAD RACER! I MEAN! HE ONLY HAS TWO PISTON CUPS! THE KING CLEARY HAS MORE THAN THIS OLD AND BROKEN DOWN RACER.

(Everyone gasps as Todd insulted Murray)

Murray: Todd, YOU ARE MAKING A SCENE! YOUR RUDENESS IS GETTING A LOT WORSE!

Jeff Gorvette: YOU STUPID MEAN RED CAR! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU JUST INSULTED? YOU JUST INSULTED A PISTON CUP CHAMPION! YOU TOXIC MEAN RED STUPID IDIOTIC BULLY! AND THE CROWD IS NOT HAPPY WITH YOU TODD!

### Todd Marcus Gets Booed and Banned for 2 Races

Fans: BOOOOOOOO! YOU'RE SUCH A TOXIC JERK! WE HATE YOU! MEAN RED CAR!

Todd's Fans: WE USED TO LOVE YOU AS A MEAN RED CAR, BUT NOW WE HATE YOU, AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO BLAMER, SO CONGRATS, YOU LOST YOUR FANS! GOODBYE, YOU MEANER AND REDDER TOXIC BULLY!

Todd: NO ONE GIVES A (Popeye Toot)!

Racing Officials: YOU MEAN RED IDIOT! FOR BULLYING AND MISCONDUCT, YOU ARE BANNED FOR 2 RACES, YOU ARE REALLY TOXIC AND BOSSY, YOU SON OF A MOTHER-(Charlie Brown Horn) (Dolphin Censor)!

Todd: I'M OUT OF HERE! BYE, STINKY RACING OFFICIALS!

(Todd goes into his hauler and leaves the stadium)

Todd: Why did I get suspended for 2 races because of insulting? BUT WHY DID MY FRIEND EUGENE CARBURESKI DID NOT GET SUSPENDED FOR MURDER IN 2001?!

Goomer (Todd´s Pitty): Maybe he was suspended but raced illegally.

Todd: (Popeye toot) YOU GOOMER!

Todd's Hauler: GET OUT OF THE HAULER TODD RIGHT NOW!

Todd: WHAT?

Todd's hauler: I SAID GET OUT RIGHT (Charlie Brown horn) NOW!

Todd: NO I WILL NOT GET OUT OF MY HAULER YOU MOTHER-(Dolphin Censor)!

Todd's Hauler: YOU KNOW WHAT! I QUIT! I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN YOU TOXIC BULLY! GO AND YOUR OWN WAY HOME!

Todd: NO! DON'T LEAVE YOUR MY BEST HAULER! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE! HOW CAN I FIND MY WAY HOME?

Todd's Hauler: I AM NOT YOUR BEST HAULER! TOXIC TODD MARCUS!

Todd: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE! (Bawling 10 times)

Todd's Crew chief: TODD MARCUS GET OUT NOW!!!! GET THE (Dolphin Censor) OUT OF HERE NOW I QUIT BEING YOUR CREW CHIEF YOU ARE A DISGRACE!

Todd: WELL JOHNNY BRAINLESS BLAMER DESERVES IT!

Todd's Crew Chief: NO HE DOSEN'T! I AM DONE WITH YOU I WILL NOT BE YOUR CREW CHIEF AGAIN! YOU ARE THE MOST HORRIBLE CAR I HAVE EVER SEEN!

(Todd's crew chief hits him in the bumper)

Todd: MAN I CAN'T BELIVE MY CREW CHIEF AND HAULER LEFT JUST BECAUSE I BULLIED JOHNNY BLAMER! AND FOR INSULTING MURRAY! WELL YES HE HAS WON A PISTON CUP BUT THE KING HAS MORE PISTON CUPS THEN HIM!

(back to Johnny Blamer, he can be seen crying next to a tree outside the track.)

Johnny: Who am I kidding? He is right. I really am brainless! (Sobbing hard)

(This comment gets the attention of a girl who was nearby. It was Abigail (or Abby), who Johnny saw earlier. Abby who is Johnny's girlfriend and future wife instantly arrived at the time of the comment.)

Abby: Johnny, are you okay?

Johnny: No Abby, the REALLY mean red car Todd Marcrap called me brainless. But he is right. I always crash into everybody. Or almost always...

Abby: No is he not. You are not brainless! You are very nice and you can't help it when you crash. You are great just the way you are!

Johnny: Really?

Abby: Yeah! Plus you are my favorite racer!

(Soon Johnny's close friend Dale Jr. arrives)

Dale Jr.: I heard what happened. I arrived as soon as I could.

Johnny: What happened to Todd?

Dale Jr.: Two race ban for misconduct and bullying.

Johnny: Well that's good to know.

Dale Jr.: And I know I already said this but congrats on the win! (Whispering) And for getting your first potential girlfriend and possibly future wife, so you two and I will watch the wedding of anyone on TV, and you two will get married.

Johnny: Haha! Thanks, Dale!

Kori: Okay, I think this is done now, we won't broadcast this to the public, so back to you Bob.

(After the RSN crew leaves, Murray arrives)

### Murray Becomes Best Friends With Johnny

Murray: Blamer, i took care of that toxic mean red bully Todd Marcrap. He is banned for 2 races, and I will be your new friend and protect you Blamer, you have new friend on your side.

Johnny: Thank you, Murray! You're the best!

Murray: Hey, anything for my new friend.

### Todd Gets Divorced

Lena: TODD MARC(English Yee)! WHAT THE (Popeye Toot) IS WRONG WITH YOU! YOU JUST BULLIED BLAMER JUST FOR HIM WINNING A RACE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS CAREER, THAT IS SO DIGRACEFULL OF YOU!

Todd Marcus: HE IS A MAGENT FACE, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

Lena: I THOUGHT YOU WHERE A NICE HUSBAND, I REALLY DID, BUT NOW, YOU NOTHING BUT A TOXIC JERK WHO AND YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOUR SELF. THATS IT I'M DIVORCEING, YOU, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!

Todd Marcus: PLEASE NO! I'M SORRY! I WILL NEVER BULLY BLAMER AGAIN! PLEASE DON'T DIVORCE ME!

Lena: YOUR APOLGIES ARE DENIED AND NEVER ACCEPTED, I CANNOT FORGIVE YOU. YOU SUCK BIG TIME! SO GOODBYE FOREVER TODD MARCUS, I WILL FORGET YOU, AND I WILL TEAR UP ALL OF THE PICTURES WE HAD TOGETHER! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE ABOUT YOU!

(Todd bashes in the rear of Lena and she lost her rear bumper)

Todd: Oh! Oh! (Oil comes out from his Grill)

Lena (gets angry): YOU MOTHER-(Popeye Toot) PIECE OF BULL-(Yee)! (beats up Todd)

Todd Marcus: OW!

Lena: (Popeye Toot) YOU! YOU'RE THE WORST CAR I'VE EVER MOTHER-(Seal Bark) MET IN MY (Seal Bark) LIFE! (Does a final punch before she drives away)

Todd: ***NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*** (faints)