Different

"**Different**" is a song by Maggie Lindemann, written and produced by herself Cody Tarpley & John Cunningham. The song is featured as the seventh track on Lindemann's debut extended play *PARANOIA*.

## Background & Composition

In an episode of Sleeve Notes, Lindemann explained the meaning behind the track:

"*Different*" is a song I wrote when I had gotten back from Malaysia, a really traumatic experience happened for me, and it was just really scary, and I really felt like I needed some therapy, and music is my therapy, so I went into the studio, a week after getting back and we wrote *Different* and it was just a really good way for me to get out that, like, pain and that anxiety and just all the things that came from that. So just about not wanting to be in my own skin and like, wanting to jump out and wanting to just be somebody else."
In February 2021, Lindemann shared a snippet of a demo for *Different* featuring a different production and a new verse from her boyfriend at the time Brandon Arreaga. The feature ended up being scrapped because Arreaga couldn't be featured in the track since he was part of a group, according to Lindemann.

## Malaysia incident

The events that inspired *Different* happened in 2019, when Lindemann was supposed to perform at The Bee in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, but was arrested mid-way through her set. At the time, she made a post on her social media explaining the situation to her fans, saying she spent "5 days in living hell" but without going in much detail.

Two years later, Lindemann did an interview with Rolling Stones, where she fully explained what happened. According to the singer, her and her team arrived in Asia a few days earlier and a team was expecting them at the airport and took them to their hotel and everything "seemed taken care of". On the day of the show, everything went accordingly and the singer did press meetings, warm-ups and soundcheck and when it came time for the show she was ready to perform and shortly after the set started, strangers appeared on the stage ushering her off. Her manager, Gerald Tennison asked for an explanation but the officers were mainly speaking to the show's promoters and venue organizers, and shortly after Lindemann, Tennison and the keyboard player, Nolan Frank, were handcuffed and taken away for perfoming illegally with a tourist visa, which doesn't allow employment of any kind to be undertaken.

The group was taken to an undisclosed facility where they sat for hours without communication. Lindemann mentioned after some time, some guards tried to help them and told they could use their phones, which the singer did to contact her then boyfriend, Brandon Arreaga and her friend, Rickey Thompson, until other guards came and took their phones away. They were later escorted to a larger room with other detainees sitting on the floor where they were officially booked into custody and told to remove all of their jewelry. Then, Lindemann was separated from her manager and keyboard player because of her gender, and then she was strip-searched and given a pair of sweatpants to wear, before being put into a cell with other women.

Lindemann then mentioned she thinks she was in that cell for 24 hours but since there was no clock she couldn't be sure. The singer mentioned feeling uncomfortable and sick until a guard gave her some medication, that she took without knowing what it was, but that helped her sleep. Some time after she was reunited with her team and they went back into the hotel since they weren't allowed to leave the country yet. She also mentioned being so paranoid, when the hotel gifted her a teddy bear she even worried there might've been a microphone hidden in it. They then returned to Los Angeles and after she got home she just "slept hard". After that she mentions she never asked what exactly was wrong with her documents since she was too traumatized to care about it.

A while after getting back, Lindemann mentioned that the situation was what pushed her to really lean in to the sound she always wanted to make:

"I want to be making music that I love and doing things that make me genuinely happy, so that it doesn't feel like everything was for nothing. At the time, I was still making music that I didn't necessarily love, and I felt kind of stuck in that. This was a tipping point for me. I was like, 'OK, that's it. I'm not doing this shit for anyone else anymore. I need to do stuff for myself."
## Official versions

* EP version — 2:37
* Demo featuring Brandon Arreaga — 1:00 (snippet)

## Lyrics

* PARANOIA version
* Demo

[Verse 1]

2 AM windows down, drivin' on the 405

Only got two hours left 'til I catch my flight

If I disappeared, would they call my name at my gate?

Why do my reckless decisions happen this late?

4 AM windows down, I'm not comin' home tonight

[Pre-Chorus]

Thinkin', "Don't be scared, don't you cry

Everything will be alright"

But if it's still not enough

Can somebody just

[Chorus]

Take me where the headlights go

I'm so fuckin' lost here

Just wanna be not here

Take me where the stars don't show

It can get a lot here

Shining all alone

[Post-Chorus]

I just wanna be someone different than me sometimes

I just, I just, I just

I just wanna be someone different than me sometimes

I just, I just, I just

[Verse 2]

Always feelin' guilty so I need somewhere to put the pain

Poison in my mouth 'cause it's better than the words I'd say

Am I just a burden, always uncertain, don't know

This isn't workin' but I keep diggin' this hole

If I try hard enough, maybe I'll forget my name

[Pre-Chorus]

Thinkin', "Don't be scared, don't you cry

Everything will be alright"

But if it's still not enough

Can somebody just

[Chorus]

Take me where the headlights go

I'm so fuckin' lost here

Just wanna be not here

Take me where the stars don't show

It can get a lot here

Shining all alone

[Post-Chorus]

I just wanna be someone different than me sometimes

I just, I just, I just

I just wanna be someone different than me sometimes

I just, I just, I just

[Outro]

Don't be scared, don't you cry

Everything will be alright

But if it's still not enough

Can somebody just

[Pre-Chorus: Maggie Lindemann]

Can somebody just

[Bridge: Brandon Arreaga]

Take me, take me, take me, oh (Take)

Take me, oh, take me, yeah (Take me, woah)

Take me, take me, take me, yeah

(I just wanna be someone different than me sometimes)

Take me, take me, we'll be alright

(I just wanna be someone different than me sometimes)

Take me, take me, yeah

[Verse: Brandon Arreaga]

Take me to your wasteland baby, yeah

Save me, baby, yes, you save me lately

Leave me in the dark, shady

I've been out of my mind, oh God, that's on daily

And the list go on, and on, and on, baby, oh, yeah

I can feel it, I'm down on my luck and I feel like I'm out of control

But fuck it, at least, I'm at home, at least I've got something to hold

Got the symphony waiting for me at the door but I ain't got the gold, yeah

[Chorus: Maggie Lindemann]

Take me where the headlights go

I'm so fuckin'

## Music video & Live performance

Maggie Lindemann - Different
Maggie Lindemann - Different (Live At The Roxy)