1290/Just Not Fair...

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock was sitting in her room with the door partially opened as she waited for First Aid to come in, now that their shift at the repair bay was over and Blurr was safely tended to... Starlock was looking at old sheet music for a piano like instrument on her datapad, and started humming absentmindedly as she tried to envision the tune.

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid cleans up the medbay once hes sure Blurr is stable. He heads over to see Starlock working "What are you working on?" He asks.

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock's finials twitch up and she looks over to Aid and smiles. "Oh.. erm nothing really, was looking at sheet music... I've always wanted to play a keyboard." She'd chuckle weakly. "Singing wasn't actually my first choice, but it was what I could learn without needing to hunt down the hulking instrument... Everything in the medbay taken care of?"

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid pauses. "Maybe we can hunt one down for you. Yeah the medbay's all taken care of." he says. "You did a good job with Blurr today."

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock pats her berth for him to come sit with her and nodded. "You did as well, feeling a bit better now that a lot of the stress has been taken off you?" She'd smile softly. "And I don't know, they where pretty large room stationary instruments."

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid moves to sit by her without hesitation, pulling Starlock into a hug. "I do. I kinda feel like I failed, but its allright. It honestly is. You are more suited for the joba nd it would do everyone a adisservice if I didnt let you step up." he says. "So how are you liking it?"

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock hugs him back tightly. "Naw, didn't fail, but it was definitely more than what you were ready for, just something you need more time to work up too." She'd smile softly, leaning against him. "It's.. Honestly not to much a change from the stuff I was already doing without others asking." She'd chuckle "So that's probably the good bit, get called in more by Jazz though.. Oh! Also you need to talk to him later." She'd nod.

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid looks down "Im not that young. I could have handled it its just. You're better at it so..." he rubs hte back of his neck. "Yeah. Is he disappointed in me?" he asks.

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock chuckles. "Nothing to do with being /young/ it just is, you have your own pace, and that was just to big a jump, you did fine though." She'd smile. "Like trying to run before you can walk." She'd nod again.

      "Naw, he's not mad at you."

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid pauses. "If I didn't accept it, I'd have failed Ratchet. He put so much faith in me and I could have done more to live up to it. I don't know why he did but Im kinda happy assisting for now."

**Starlock has posed:**
     "You tried, that's what matters, and, you learned some things from it." She'd smile, putting her finger up to his face plate. "Probably got a full nights recharge day after we were swapped around too, huh?" She'd chuckle. "Probably now know your stress limit too.."

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid pauses. "I bet you didnt though. I only sleep a few hours at a time. Its something I've always done. I always want to be ready for emergencies." he nods "I did. I know my stress limits now, you're right. I hope I didnt mess things up too badly."

**Starlock has posed:**
     "Wasn't that bad, had people like HP, Hoist, Me, and he nursing staff helping you, it really wasn't that bad." She'd smile. "I mostly didn't recharge cause all the paperwork and making sure patients were tended to and getting settled." She'd chuckle, and yawn, as she leaned against him and murmur.

      "...I'm Proud of you though, took a chance, and learned some things, especially about yourself."

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid nods "I did. Like I said. I dont feel the least bit angry about it. Sometimes you have to know when its time to step back.'

**Over the Radio:**
     -<RADIO: FA074>- Starlock says, "...Heey uhh, I think i made a mistake."
      -<RADIO: FA074>- Starlock says, "Aid, maybe we should be /careful/ about who we let find out about us being together.."
      -<RADIO: FA074>- First Aid says, "is there a problem with it?"
      -<RADIO: FA074>- Starlock says, "I wasn't thinking about it before, and just doing my job, but, someone would... think i would be favoring you over others if they found out...specially this early."
      -<RADIO: FA074>- First Aid says, "yeah I get it dating my superior might be a bad thing. Do you think we should..you know. break it off?"
      -<RADIO: FA074>- Starlock says, "....I don't want to...specially considering we just.. \*She'd sigh\*...If we hide it, we risk getting in worse trouble."
      -<RADIO: FA074>- First Aid says, "I agree. Starlock? I.. we gotta think about what's best for the Autobots."

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock nods with a smile, though gives pause on something, starting to look a bit worried... she'd click on her radio, and after a few private whispers, Starlock looks down sadly at the floor, her optics welling.

      "...I know.." She says weakly, sniffling.. This wasn't fair! It really wasn't fair! She hasn't thought about it before, but now... "I.. Don't know the answer to this.."

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid Stays very quiet for a while. "Starlock in our position, I.. we both know its best." He winces visibly. "No no please dont cry. Its okay." he moves to hug her tightly. "Primus this is hard. I love you but..

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock sniffles, and she can't hold it back, and starts letting out strained sobs. "I-I know.. I.. I'm not.. upset with /you/ I'm more-I'm more /angry/ at myself for not realizing sooner.." She'd cough before just burying her face in his platting.

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid kisses her cheek softly. "I know." He says. "You take your duties seriously. I never thouught of it myself when I was in your position. I..I hope you can forgive me." He lowers his head and just lets her bury her facein his plating. He tries to remain stoic but his body starts to tremble as he tries to push down his feelings. "Im sorry."

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock coughs and cling tightly to him, letting out choked sobs for a few breems before she could calm herself. "I...love you too...I'm /so/ sorry I didn't.. I didn't realize this sooner.." she'd cough.

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid nods "I should have too, especially when I was your.. I love you. I always will bu we cant right now. We can still you know. be friends but we cant.." he cant hold back the trembling right now, the absolute shame in his voice. "Starlock Im sorry."

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock simply nods, clinging to him, hating herself, had she realized sooner, they wouldn't /be/ in this position and wouldn't be hurting like this! It wasn't fair, after everything she gives for everyone else... just.. wasn't fair... "I know.. I know.. I...." She'd cough. "...I'm not upset with you.." She'd murmur to him, apologizing as well. "...It's okay to cry, Aid.. heh.. Anyone deserves to be allowed that, it is you.."

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid bites his lip under his facemask so hard that he tastes energon. He gulps a bit and gives a numb nod. "I.. I know." he whispers. His optics start to glisten as he holds back tears. "Maybe later. I hate seeing you hurt like this I hate it. Im sorry I let it go this far." he whispers.

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock sniffles. "Shouldn't be left to... to handle this.. on your own.." She'd sniffle, just letting herself rest there not letting go of him. "...You didn't deserve this ether..."

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid holds Starlock close. "Shh. Me.. I..I'm fine." he says, his voice cracking a bit as he rocks her softly. "Just another thing I did wrong. Im okay but your not. Lemme take care of you."

**Starlock has posed:**
     "Aid.. you didn't do /anything/ wrong.." She'd look up at him, bringing her hands up to his face. "....Primus, we did everything right.." she'd laugh weakly, choking out some sobs. "...Wasn't even a mega-cycle long.. but we both didn't realize the full meaning of it.." She'd sigh.

      Starlock looked right up at him. "....Thank you.." she'd smile weakly. "..For teaching me, wats it's like to actually be loved.."

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid nods "Likewise." he says softly. "And thank you. I I... Im sorry it couldnt have been longer, Im sorry Im too young too..everything you dont need. I will always love you. You will always be close to me. I will always rember this." he says, retuning the smile invisibly.

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock smiles sadly at him though the tears. "Oh Aid.." She'd huff, hugging him tightly, she'd just stay there with him silently for what felt like cycles, but was really kilks.. before she started singing softly.

      "If I could begin to be half of what you think of me.
      I could do about anything...
      I could even learn how to love..
      When I see the way you act, Wondering when I'm coming back,
      I could do about anything
      I could even learn how to love like you
      Love like you..

      I always thought I might be bad now I'm sure that its true,
      'cus I think you're so good and Im nothing like you,
      Look at you go, I just adore you
      I wish that I knew, what makes you think I'm so special
      If I could begin to do something that does right by you,
      I would do about anything..
      I would even learn how to love...
      When I see the way you look, Shaken by how long it took,
      I could do about anything,
      I could even learn how to love like you...
      Love like you...

      Even though I can't compare and I'm sorry if I stare,
      I just want to do everything,
      Maybe I could learn how to love..
      People say this love is wrong but all I want is to belong..
      I can say without any doubt
      everyone should learn how to love like you..."

      Starlock's voice would dim to a soft, murmur. "Love like you...Love like you" She'd bring her helm up to place it against First Aids, resting there with her optics closed.

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid holds Starlock close, the words, the song tearing through him. He loves nothing more then to hear her sing, but knows it might be the last time that he hears her do it out of love. Tears of coolant flow freely from behind his opitce band, his hands trembling as he strokes her helm. Only when her voice dims to a soft murmur does he let himself cry. "I'll miss you. Whoever you end up with. You...will make them very happy." he whispers.

**Starlock has posed:**
     Starlock whimpers hearing that, but keeps her arms around him... Silently hoping to herself everything will be okay, but she knows that unfortunately, life isn't fair.... As a medic and doctor, she's well aware she could lose anyone of her friends on the field, no matter what side their on, she can't be with the person she loves.. She was finding it hard to find a reason to keep going.

      She'd make sure her door was shut and locked before just resting there with him in her arms. "....Sh-Should rest.. Got another day ahead of us.." She'd murmur softly.

**First Aid has posed:**
First Aid nods "Yes..tomorrow. We have a lot of work to do." his voice goes flat as he just sort of goes limp there, blocking out everything for the time being.