Leap (GAM046)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Leap*** (not to be confused with the 2018 film) is the story of some Slovak-French-Canadian-Russian-Dutch college students who teach an American kid about Jesus in exchange for lessons in Michael Scott-style parkour. So if you're hoping that Tommy Wiseau would remake *The Room*, except with jumping over handrails instead of navel porn, well congratulations, your wish came true. And you wish for really weird stuff—probably stop wishing for things.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because because we're pissed off at our eyes.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well if you ever thought to yourself "I love watching this video on YouTube my nephew made of him doing parkour, but I wish occasionally I would wake up in a boring ESL Bible study group", then *this* movie is for you.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: ….this was the best-worst at, uh, the best-worstitude across the board.
* Eli: …acting, costumes, fake gun noises, girl you can scream "Shut the fuck up, Tina!" at. Every moment of this movie is amazing.

### **Notes**

* I actually had to contact El Director directly to ask for a copy of the DVD cover art for the film so that I could add it to IMDb.
* Based on his production journal (inexplicably a .org address) for *Leap 2: Rise of the Beast*, the final render of *Leap* was begun on 8 December 2009, and the themes for the film were "the issues of premarital sex, the timing of the rapture, and speculation about the mark of the beast."
* Strangely, the Patreon opening exert is different from the standard opening exert (see the Jokes section).

### **Jokes**

* [Noah: I just wanna point out that there actually *are* impressive parkour vaults that can be done with a rail like that, I just want—so that you guys know that, uh—] [Eli: There are people who can do backflips and handstands and shit. It's not just slowly heaving one thigh over it, and then the other, the way I get on to the toilet. "Mooomuma! Okay, now I'm here. Anna, I'm in here! Get the winch."] [laughter] [Eli: "I'm all covered in sweat."] –Standard
* [Heath: This movie would be so much better if Flyboy would just hurt himself every time he shows up or tries to sprint away. By the end he's just like, bruised, no teeth, he's doing wall runs with elbow crutches, really bad just standing—] [Eli: Ooh, please give us crazy billionaire money so we can remake this movie with me as Flyboy, and I'll just throw myself at brick walls. It'll just be ninety minutes of me being like, "Urk! Oh! Oh, my ankle's real hurt. It's real hurt. No, don't touch it! Don't touch it. I don't wanna to take off my shoe.] -Patreon
* [Eli: I want this man's confidence. Imagine the confidence! This is someone who is—already knows that we're going to make fun of this movie. He is almost certainly listening to this. I would love the confidence of someone who can make a movie this bad and then be like "You know what that movie needs? ME! We need to watch more MEEE!" You must just jerk off in a mirror. That guy must never need pornography: he just sits there just reverse stroking it to himself, just like, "Who's that lucky man getting to touch *that* lucky man's penis?"]

### **Interstitials**

* El Director, Writer/Director/Cinematographer/Star/Parkour Trainer (4:48)
* You Know How We're Not Just Amazing at Parkour, We're Also Incredible Actors? (1:13:55)

### **Tropes**

* And Then the Apocalypse Happens
* Atheist Converts to Christianity
* Bad Christian Space Work
* Bible Reading Montage
* Boss in a Bit Part
* BRIAN! (Fuck You!)
* Computers/Technology is Evil
* Crazy Billionaire Money
* Flashback to Shit We Just Watched
* Looks LIke…
* SEXISM!
* Vaguely Heard of Jesus
* Who's That Girl?

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: Pastor Andrew Luck with cancer got cured, but then he died of liver failure after drinking some gay vodka.
* Noah: Tina was raped by the barbed penis of a fire demon for a million lifetimes for being afraid of getting shot in the head.
* Eli: Shane's farmer tan started its very own film career and successful country music business.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb