Ebrugh Report 7: Her Terrible Beauty

This Ebrugh Report is about a law student that falls in love with a beautiful girl.

## Ebrugh Report 7

Photo of the alley where the crime took place.

### Performers

Unknown law student;Caroline Torres;Unknown pupil;

## Summary

A law student meets a beautiful woman called Caroline during his first week of university. After some meetings, they start to date. The law student falls in love with her, but at the evening of their first time in bed Caroline rapes and degrades the law student out of pleasure, leading to the law student starting to hate her. The law student goes to her home, confused, and thinks about killing her, but is suddenly relieved of the hate towards Caroline. Not much later, Caroline is found mangled in an alley by the student, but from that moment on, a strange creature with Caroline's voice starts stalking them. In the end, the creature corners the student.

## Report 7

### Rumoured Origin

*Before giving you the main report, I want you to know about a little incident that I found on a horror reddit. I think it is linked to the report and implies that there are greater dangers than I was aware of in the beginning, dangers that are perhaps not limited to certain people, but everyone. It is from a teenage boy living in São Paulo.*

At my school, there is a rumor about an alley…

When I first stepped into that alley, there was nothing there that really worried me. Yes, I spotted some rats scurrying by and smelled the disgusting stench of the dumpsters, but nothing out of the ordinary. The story that was told about this alley at school had driven me here, had woken my interest. The story I had been told repeatedly by my schoolmates and the other kids from my neighborhood during the past few days.

The story of the whispers that were heard around there from time to time.

I had already listened to many tall tales before and had thus become quite skeptical over time. But a few weeks ago, people started talking about this particular alley. Allegedly, a gruesome murder had happened here, an atrocity that could not have been more terrible and brutal. A young woman had been found, a woman who had once been beautiful and graceful. It was even rumored that everyone who saw her immediately fell in love with her, so much so that they wanted to give and do everything for her... That she had been an angel…

Such talk seemed silly to me. I was convinced that none of it was true, that the other kids had just made something up again to have a new mysterious and interesting place to talk about. So, I went between the two houses that framed the alley. Bravely I trotted ahead, always thinking back to the rumors, but convinced that nothing would happen.

The first time I walked there, that is exactly how it turned out. I only encountered some rats, which I saw crawling around between the garbage. On one of the walls, I thought I could recognize faded blood and imagined smelling a slight odor of rot, but I must surely have been mistaken. Nothing else, nothing out of the ordinary. After I left the alley sometime later, I nonetheless felt as if an unpleasant burden had been lifted from me. Perhaps I had silently believed that something was there after all? That something of the woman had remained in that narrow alley?

Stupid me.

Of course, there was nothing there.

The next day, I bragged to my classmates. I had walked through the alley of sweet whispers, and nothing had happened! I had heard nothing!

The others were impressed, wanted to know everything. After all, not many dared to go to that place anymore. Not many took the risk of hearing the sweet woman's voice....

It was unusual that so many people listened to me, but everyone wanted to hear my tale. I enjoyed it to the fullest. Would you not have done the same?

Not two days later, I went back to the alley. I knew that a new story would impress the others even more. I knew that everyone would admire me for my courage. So, again, I stood at the entrance to that little gap between the concrete houses that had such a bad reputation.

It was cold and the air smelled musty. Maybe a rat had gotten lost there, had died between those walls?

Probably.

I stepped cautiously into the alley, pressing my jacket against me as it had become chilly. The sounds of the cars driving down the main street behind me had become distant and insignificant. I got the feeling that silence bled from the alley, deep into my heart, numbing me. The ground was full of trash, someone had carelessly thrown their garbage next to the dumpsters. I walked slowly while the cold made me shiver more and more.

I listened.

Wasn't there whispering? Wasn't there a voice… after all?

I must have been mistaken.

There was nothing, only the distant noise of traffic.

Stupid me.

After a short while during which my imagination tortured me, I finally got so deep into the alley that I saw that faded spot again. This time, I was sure.

It was real. There, on the floor and on the wall, I could see remnants of dried blood. What terrible deed had happened here?

Had there really been a young woman here, a young woman that...-

"Don't you love me?"

I heard those distant words in the wind. A woman's voice, sweet as sugar, whispering softly. It was as if the words were calling to me, but the faded blood in front of me made me hesitate.

What was happening here? Was I going crazy? Was I imagining all of this?

"Don't you love me?"

Again, those words reached my ears. This time they were more tangible, and I suddenly knew they were coming from the dumpsters.

Slowly, terrified, I turned around.

To my horror, the garbage bags began to move, as if something was struggling through the trash.

I couldn't believe it.

Was I dreaming? Was my mind playing more tricks on me? There surely was nothing there! I tried to calm down and for a moment it worked.

Then I saw her.

A woman's head slowly emerged from between the trash bags in the dumpster. She was as pretty as a picture, probably the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my entire life.

Frozen, I stood there, watching her wriggle out of the trash and toward me. Then, when her head had emerged fully, I noticed in horror that what I saw was not a real person. It looked more like the head of a beautiful porcelain doll. Searching, the eyeballs twitched around until they found me.

Whimpering, full of strange hate, accompanied by muffled, gurgling sounds, she asked:

"Do you not love me? He no longer loved me... Do you love me? Do you love me?"

I rushed out of the alley and never returned there, even if it sometimes meant a detour for me on my way home. I stopped telling my classmates how brave I had been and how courageously I had ventured into that alley. In my dreams, I still hear her voice. What had happened to that beautiful young woman? Had she really returned from the other side - changed?

Please, be careful when you wander through lonely alleys at night and please, listen to the rumors that are told...

*Now, this strange little tale would not have been considered real by me, had I not sooner found a very disturbing confession on a self-help forum that seems to be in line with the post you just now heard. The confession I found seems to obviously be the writings of a mad person, so be aware of the heavy contents.*

### Report

I did not intend to follow her. I did not want to follow her; you have to believe me! But it had all been my fault... She was... after all... mine! My girlfriend, my lover! The situation… had just turned this bad on its own, I couldn't stop it! Somebody must help me; somebody has to save me – as I am not able to do so anymore. All resistance inside of me is fading...

Caroline had immediately conquered my heart when we spoke for the first time.

Back then, on a day like any other, insignificant.

There had been some time left before the start of my lecture, so I had decided to visit the little coffee shop close to the auditorium to get something to drink and look at some papers. I had not made any friends, as I had been both unlucky and clumsy – nothing too mind-boggling after one’s first week of university, but still a worry eating away at me.

Different city, different part of life, different people.

I must have looked lost sitting at that small table, staring to the ground, full of anxiety and wishing for somebody to notice me, to engage in a conversation with me.

I just could not fully explain my failures at finding new friends and acquaintances. Perhaps something was wrong with me? It had never been easy for me to warm up to people, let alone start to talk with them.

Repeatedly, a surging doubt had gotten hold of me on that day, making me wonder whether new friendships were possible at all: People seemed to be so different from me, seemed to have other concepts of values and goals in life.

Of course, I had had friends before going to university. During school, there was a small group that I had spent a lot of time with. Chance had gotten me to befriend them when I went to the movies one evening. They had watched the same film as me, two boys and a girl from my class. They wanted to know how I liked the movie. I was a bit shy when I gave my opinion, but soon found out that they had similar thoughts. That lead in turn to more conversations and finally the gates to a long friendship had been thrown wide open.

Those days are long gone.

The others live scattered across the country, and I am the only one that went to São Paulo for studying. Far away from home, only made possible by my parents' savings.

Here, I am only one in a thousand.

I had to stay home on the first day of the term as I had eaten something bad sometime before and thus spent my hours lying down on my bed in pain. Because of this on the one hand, and my difficulties in meeting new people in general on the other, I had missed my golden opportunity to find a group of students to talk to. On the second day, they all seemed to have found their new friends already and I gave up without trying – as I must admit with some shame.

It still hurts, but it was all my fault that I had to work through the difficult content of my courses on my own during the next days. The professors had decided to not go easy on us and that is why I found myself sitting in said coffee shop, buried deep in my papers.

The world was distant and insignificant, even though I had just read an incredibly interesting article. My shy gaze might have wandered around to the other people around me who sat at small tables as well, chattering about their lives, enjoying the morning, but they were so unimportant that I can't even guess anymore how many they were...

And their happiness did not make me look at them for long anyways, as I could not bear the twinkling rays of better lives whilst my own got lost in loneliness. All of that made me look at the plate on my table, which soon blurred away as well.

When she threw her bag down on the chair next to mine, ripping me out of the world inside my mind, I was intent on cursing at the person that had interrupted my trail of thoughts, but her beautiful face made me stop, her brown eyes looking directly into mine.

In that moment, she became my life. She was my essence, she... was my breath. Before meeting her, I would have never dreamt of someone being able to instantly turn my world upside down. But with her smile, her warm eyes, her tender skin and the body of an athlete, well-shaped... she managed to do just that. Like a goddess, she stepped into the bleakness of everything, driving away the loneliness that had controlled me during the past days.

She told me that she had taken notice of me on the day before, during the lecture. That she had spotted the name of her favorite band on my shirt. That I had looked lost between all those strangers and that she had missed the first day as well. Was it not fate that she now met me while she was just out to grab a cappuccino? Me, who she had remembered because of the question I had asked the professor, the question that had caught him off-guard? The person that had looked at the ground turning red afterwards, only being able to mutter a "Thanks"? How could she *not* have noticed me? And meeting me now, here... she had to take the opportunity! She had to get to know me!

I must have stuttered in the beginning, probably whilst asking her stupid questions. I remember the fear, the fear of putting her off, of appearing silly, of appearing reclusive. But Caroline just laughed kindly and clear as a bell, winked at me and asked countless things as well, partly as clumsily as me. Perhaps she felt as lost and stupid and small as I did? Even though I could not understand how a young goddess like her might think something like that about herself – she was incredibly breathtaking, after all.

Soon after, we went to the lecture together and returned to our table in the small coffee shop afterwards, which seemed to bring back our first moments more vividly than I would have expected. We discussed and debated, talked about the facts and ideas we had just learned, about new areas of knowledge. It got quite late, and we finally managed to part ways, returning to our respective flats after a long hug.

That is how you do it, isn't it? You don't put all your eggs in one basket. Or should I have invited her over? Or told her how magnificent I thought she was, how pretty, how intelligent, and funny? How pleasant? But I think that would have been too fast. I had never before seen a woman the way I saw Caroline. That meant that she was the most important one of all, didn't it?

But what if all would be over on the next day? If my feelings faded – or worse, if hers did? I could not get to sleep for a long time that night, all because of the fear of losing her. The fear of being separated from her forever. Were those thoughts healthy, sane? After having spent just one day with her? But I could not fight those thoughts, Caroline had suddenly become the center of my existence. My elixir of life.

The next morning came faster than I had hoped. The lecture Caroline and I had visited did not take place every day and so we normally would not see each other, but I sent her a text message to meet up anyway.

So, I sat there, in that coffee shop, waiting for her. I must have come off as a nervous creep, looking at the front door like a lynx.

Caroline was not on time, but I did not worry about that. My nervousness came from the fact that I had not seen her for so long. All the wonderful things she had said about me. To me.

How she had taken notice of me...

Time passed.

Slowly, irritatingly slowly.

Where was she? Did something happen to her? To my sweet, beautiful Caroline? Did someone hit her with their car, in one of the side streets, where dumb idiots drove around in their half-broken cars?

That could not be, she was probably late for a good reason. Perhaps her father had fallen ill? Perhaps her mother had called? Well, she would tell me herself in just a few moments...

And there she was, entering the room as gracefully as she had been the other day. She was wearing a skirt that was shorter than what would have been normal.

I instantly noticed that.

But I did not care that much about it - looks are not everything in the end. And Caroline's other qualities were without a doubt even more perfect and wonderful than her appearance.

She greeted me with a long hug, pressed my body against hers. I almost fainted because of the bliss I experienced, feeling her curves. I had not misinterpreted her feelings on the day before, the hints she had sent me! Her flowery perfume and her perfectly done makeup made her look even more divine, more divine than I would ever have expected.

In those moments I realized: I loved her.

I loved her, this beautiful, graceful, fantastic, godly being that had saved me from my hell of loneliness and brought me back to the light. A voice inside my head warned me to be careful, naturally – the same voice that had tried to make me doubt her interest in me, but this time it was quieter, more faint... more ridiculous.

Her legs crossed, she was sitting in front of me, sweet as sugar, smiled at me with her deeply red lips.

With her soft voice she asked whether I liked her like that? She had been uncertain, had looked for fitting things to wear for a long time. She did not want to look like a slut - but sexy, nonetheless. She wanted to make sure that I liked her, as I was her dream.

Such lovely words coming from her lips? That couldn't be true! I was so happy that I had not been mistaken, that she thought of me as attractive! For the first time in my life someone liked me, paid a special attention to me, cared about my feelings!

We talked for the whole morning. I just wanted to lose myself in her eyes. I memorized as much information as possible that she gave me - she was most important after all! I had to know everything, everything she thought, everything she liked, everything she held in high regards. I just had to know it all, what food she liked, what goals she had in life...

I had to get to know her better, this young woman I loved.

We spent all day together.

Learning should have been our sole activity, but it seemed distant and unimportant after a while. Walking through the city streets in the evening and in the night made my heart float away, whilst we strolled past all those people who were not as lucky as us.

Reaching an old oak tree in a park, we finally stopped. The light of the sun had long been gone and streetlights illuminated the trees and the lawn all around us.

I wanted to kiss her, wanted to show her my deep affection, my feelings, my love for her. But was it not a bit early for that? I was unsure. Caroline was just too good for me, too flawless. Though, when I looked her in the eyes that reflected the distant lights back at me, I nonetheless gently grabbed her head with both of my hands and pressed her soft lips against mine.

She hugged me and inside my head everything was blasted away in a shockwave of bliss. She was the one, the one you wait for all your life, the one many never ever find.

But I had done it. I had conquered her. The woman of my dreams, my goddess, my Beauty.

She was mine, mine alone.

And I was hers.

The moment felt like eternity, although it could not have lasted longer than ten heartbeats.

When Caroline stepped back a little, smiling, I only saw the light in her eyes.

"I love you!"

The words just slipped out of my mouth, although I had not planned on muttering them.

She gifted me another smile with the corner of her mouth and pulled me towards her again, whispering into my ear:

"I love you too!"

We spent a long time on a bench, kissing passionately. No words got spoken until the moment we said our goodbye for the night. I had escorted her to her little flat which she had rented with the money from her scholarship.

Of course, I had accompanied her. I did not want her to be attacked by someone. I could not lose her, the love of my life. Who knows what thugs ran around in these parts of the city, who would prey on her and her dream of a body!

One has to watch over one's future wife!

Yes, that much I loved her, I wanted to marry her! She was my future! So, I had to look after Caroline, make sure that she did not get damaged.

Safety. I had to give her safety and protect her, protect her from this threatening, dangerous world.

We kissed again and I left, even though I would have liked to accompany her a little more... Yes, I admit it, I wanted more. Who would not have...?

But I suppressed my lust with some efforts and went home. We would meet again on the next day, at least during the lecture. Probably earlier.

On the way home I scolded myself and decided to try and keep my desires in check a lot more. If I made too many leaps towards Caroline too quickly, she might get put off…

She might get putt off and with my kiss and my profession of love I might have gone a bit too far already.

And I just couldn't lose her. She had to stay a part of me and my life, no matter the cost. I had to have her with me. I had to... have her.

My future, my life I would gift to her. I would do everything for Caroline, make her happy. And when I really thought about it, my desires were not that important, because the only thing that mattered was her well-being. The way she had said "See you tomorrow, Sweetie!", with the wink and the kiss she blew towards me...

I knew exactly, what she wanted. And I would give it to her. She would enjoy it. She would love it.

As I loved her. Would love her. Forever.

In those moments I swore that I would give her everything I owned. I would make her happy, eternally glad to spend my life with her. I owed her that much, after she had led me out of the dark and the loneliness and the hell of bleakness. Those times of isolation seemed like a distant echo, long passed, and gone.

In ecstasy, I called my mother, told her about my love and the feelings that burned bright in my heart. She seemed to be glad, too, but also sounded a bit worried.

"Are you still able to concentrate on your studies? Law is not an easy subject. Uncle Pedro has gotten his head turned by a young lady as well, don't you remember? Don't you remember what happened?"

Her words made me a bit sad. Why could she not just let me be happy for once? Not just expect me to work? Yes, it is true that they had bent over backwards to get the money for my tuition, but why did they not have faith in me? I had never been irresponsible! They could at least trust in me to choose the person I wanted to marry carefully!

But it didn't really matter, I did not give a damn about what she thought. She didn't know Caroline yet; didn't know what perfect goddess she was. Without any flaw.

Again, I had problems to get to sleep, but finally it worked. I dreamt of Caroline. Of the woman I loved more than any other.

The next days were heaven on earth. We got even closer, spent all days together, turned life into a fantasy. As we only had each other, we grew together even more. My soul burned with love for Caroline and she felt the same. Soon, she wanted me to stay for the night.

My heart was beating like mad as we lay there on her bed, hugging, nervous. What would happen? Or better: How would it happen?

Caroline whispered to me:

"You are the star that will lead me into a bright future."

As always, she smiled with the corner of her mouth, gracefully, charmingly. My great love had found me, and I had found my purpose in a lonely life in this foreign city.

Caroline started to take off my clothes and touch my body, hesitant at first, but soon more determined. I followed her lead.

When we were finally naked, she asked for a little patience. She told me of some lingerie she had bought in the morning, just to make this the best evening of my life.

Following her godly shape with my eyes as she left the room, my brain exploded with hormones of elation. Caroline was everything one could ever wish for. Everything one could dream about. How could I have ever lived without her? All the days I had spent in my room with my books, or the hours spent with my group of friends... A group of friends I had never really felt a part of, if I was honest with myself...

All those memories were a dying noise being driven away by the symphony of Caroline's being. Her face appeared in front of my inner eyes, an image of perfection: her smiling red lips, her big eyes, her long, beautiful hair. Like in a trance, I just pictured her. I could not even imagine what she was just putting on to send me to heavens of bliss forever.

Only her face I saw. Those mesmerizing eyes.

Our future would be unfathomably great. Would we marry before the year was over? Did she love me that much? I at least was sure of everything, I loved her forever and would never feel anything else for her. Caroline was just flawless, there was nothing bad about her. How many children would we have? My grandmother would probably be glad about some grandchildren. Many grandchildren. That was her only chance, and I did not plan on disappointing her.

We would marry in a church, perhaps a cathedral, without a question. God was our Lord; we would join under his gaze. Promise each other eternity...

What would Caroline wear at our wedding? A red dress, like a bouquet of beautiful roses? Perhaps she would even put a rose in her hair? She loved flowers, I think. In front of the altar, I would say it to her, for all the world to hear!

*I love you.*

I whispered it, lying in her bed, again and again, looking at her flawless face in front of my inner eyes, her flawless face winking at me, while I could hear her faintly in the other room, hearing her getting ready, hearing her returning.

*I love you.*

Would she wear black? Sexy and seductive? Or an innocent white, reflecting the colour of her soul? I could not wait, knew, that she was about to enter the room, anticipating the best moment of my life.

*I love you.*

Rape?

How?

How could this have happened?

How?

How could she have done this to me?

How?

Why?

Why did she use me like this... just for fun?

What did I ever do to deserve this?

I had lost everything.

Absolutely everything.

My relationship shattered into a billion pieces. I felt like an eviscerated animal, slain like cattle, just to amuse this witch. The poison of love had driven me into her arms, into her slaughterhouse. Why had I been so shy? I might have been able to find real people and not ended up in this hell. This hell, become real, my future, my life. I was burning in pain, my thoughts torn to shreds.

How could she have humiliated me like this? Destroyed everything that made me a person? She had planned it with her friends. Searched for a dumb lonely victim looking for company, readied like a lamb for a sacrificial ritual.

They had stormed into the room, four of them, wrestled me down and started to degrade me in every...

It had been Caroline's idea.

To find a lonely soul she could plunge into the abyss of hell.

To demonstrate her superiority and show me, what a pitiful creature I was.

During the time we were meeting up, she had given her co-conspirators – her fiancée she had hidden from me and another couple she was friends with – instructions to come up with the most degrading and creative methods of humiliation for me. For fun.

They…

I had passed out several times and so, when I watched the video of their deed they had put online – their faces blurred, mine fully visible - I did not remember some of the things they had done to and with me...

"It thought that someone like me could ever love such an utter worthless piece of shit..."

Her words echoed through my empty mind, again and again...

Becoming a lawyer, the thing I had always dreamt of, gone forever. My reputation destroyed.

They had put up posters with links to the video everywhere on campus, in the city... Had put it up on many websites, to protect it against deletion...

How had they not been caught? How had they managed that? How long had they planned something like this? Why?

"What should be done with filthy misfits", they had titled the video.

My name in the descriptions, my courses at university, intimate details I had told Caroline during our dates – but also made-up things.

I would never get a job that commanded any respect.

The police came by. They questioned me, tried to help me, but there was not proof that it was Caroline. My word against hers and her friends’.

It did not take long for the video to spread to even more websites. Like a cancer it grew in the depths of the web. They also posted it on social platforms and tagged me in the post, so that my family saw it, too. I had hoped for their comfort, but my father was mad with rage and cast me out of the family, not being able to cope with the shame I had brought to him. My mother had called me, her words burned forever into my soul.

"What were you thinking? Is nothing sacred to you? If you just had let go of this slut, but no, you had to fuck her before getting married! I thought that I raised you with God's teachings! How dare you! All the money we worked for, saved for you! For nothing! Gone! You will never work as a lawyer! And we are almost starving because of you! I don't want to ever see you again, the Lord may as well cast you down into the pit!"

But I already was there. I wanted to tell her that, but she had already hung up on me. I have not spoken a word with a member of my family since.

They were gone.

All I had experienced with them, was now gone and would not be again. And it was my own fault. I should have been more careful, should not have loved... So stupid of me, how could anyone have loved me? I had been so naïve. If I had seen it earlier, the personified wretchedness that was me... At least I would have had a future. A future that Caroline had taken from me, a future she had shattered after using me for her sick pleasures. I should have known; it was all my fault. Knowing that shred my mind even more apart.

This female poison of beauty. My life, my whole life... Gone, vanquished and faded, all hopes and dreams of mine. My carrier, my love, my poor family, all of that she had taken with joy.

Knowingly and with full intent.

Just for fun.

Not by accident, not by mistake, no. That monster had always had exactly this deed in mind. She had wanted and planned the worst and greatest destruction of me that she could imagine, to cast my being into a void I could never return from. That had been Caroline's greatest pleasure. Cunningly that serpent had sneaked into my life and done what she liked the most, driven by boredom and joy: Causing people pain.

Every time I thought of her, the images of her friendly mirage came up in my mind, where she started shining her beauty and perfection down on me.

"I love you", the last parts of my past self muttered, the parts that had somehow survived all the destruction. They threatened to drive me mad with their disgustingly vivid memories of the time we had been dating.

Moments later, I was thrown back into my private hell by reality, leaving me behind only with torment and despair as my companions. She had done it, it had been her plan, her idea alone.

I could not... I could not unify those two inner representations of her. Despite the horrible happenings I could not vilify her permanently, as a part of me... wanted her back.

As I realized this, I fell even deeper into dark madness. The poisonous thoughts of bliss that Caroline's presence had planted deep within me, were obviously still there.

But... how? I hated her, she was scum, the devil, evil itself. A destructive presence that did not stop for anything in its path. But my past me still loved her, conjured up perfect memories of her fun personality and her beautiful body and threw them at me like rotten eggs.

When those memories started to make me excited, I broke down, lying in my own vomit, crying and trying to drown my mind in sadness and pain. I was so confused and lost, how could Caroline have done something like this? That putrid cancer on the surface of our world. It could not stay this way anymore...

*Caroline had to die.*

That realization jolted through my thoughts only for a second. I was still shaken by spasms, but besides images of Caroline's divine perfection, more and more dark thoughts started to rise in my soul, coming from a darkness deep within.

I wanted to watch her die, wanted to make her life hell, exactly as she had done to mine. Every second of her future existence had to consist of pain and screams – if I let her keep her vocal cords. After infinite pain, she would beg for her death and I would be kind. That piece of trash had to disappear from this world. It did not seem possible to cripple Caroline's psychotic mind, but her body... her lovely body...

*I love you...*

Slowly, I got up.

I knew where she lived.

I knew when she would probably be home. I would claw out her perfect eyes and watch as she crawled over the floor, crying for mercy. This divine creature of disgust.

I got dizzy. I probably screamed. I don't remember. Perhaps a neighbour had knocked on my door to complain? I don't remember. I just remember my feelings. Hate and love, woven together into an eternal chaos, consuming me, a whirlpool of hell.

How much time had passed until I could clear my thoughts and body enough to leave the room, intent on making Caroline pay the price for her deeds, I can only guess.

Soon, I stood pressed against a brick wall, protected against the gazes of the people living in Caroline's neighboring flats. In those moments, my heart was still gripped by infinite, suffocating chaos, making me unable to formulate a clear plan. Should I just kick the door in and face her? Should I act as if I wanted another chance, crawling at her feet?

But those ideas flickered through my mind only for moments and soon were extinguished by a sea of insanity. I can't tell how long I stood there, shaking, until they suddenly left the house.

Caroline and... him.

She was stunningly beautiful, graceful and flawless. She was all evil in the world. And him? He was her toy, like I had been. He just didn't know yet.

They seemed to part ways, kissed and I had to fight with dizziness again, my stomach hurting.

Finally, they left in opposite directions. In the light of the sun, Caroline looked even more transcendent than ever. Again, I was flooded with happy memories, memories of a Caroline that never had existed. And those were themselves flooded away by the truth, by her real shape: a disfigured, psychotic slut, emotionally dead and worthless.

She took the alleyway next to her house leading to the main street.

I had to follow her, chase her, show her hell.

*I love you.*

Oh god, I had wanted to marry her, start a family, get children to make the world a better place. Life could have been perfect, all could have been better, happy, divine. All that was left was a bleak desert of pain around me, until the end of my days. For that, the filthy whore had to pay.

*I hate you.*

Could I even do it? Murder her? What, if I crippled her first? Cut open her face, her intestines... I wanted to marry her, what, if I had married her? What, if I stabbed her to death? What, if I loved her too much? Her perfect, flawless face that was mine and mine alone, belonged to me... Would belong to me... No, I hated her, despised her, what if I would smash her kneecaps so she would never walk again, what if I...

Nothing.

Silence.

Emptiness.

No thoughts.

Every process in my conscious mind stopped.

They had all gone, all the pictures. As if they had not been able to take it anymore, had fled to somewhere else...

There I was, not far away from the entrance of that alleyway. I felt free, but also desperate. What had I almost done just now? What had I become? Where had my thoughts escaped to? Nothing mattered; nothing mattered at all. I don't know how long I stood there, like a broken computer.

Hours?

I did not intend to follow her. I did not want to follow her; you have to believe me! It just happened that way. I admit, I was not free of blame... but I had to follow her! The conflict inside had been too big.

But standing there, close by that alley, all of that was not important anymore. Additionally, Caroline was long gone. So, I entered the alley, why not? Everything was filthy, but the district is known for that. All the dirt, the dissolving walls, the ugly smell of the garbage containers on the right...

I hesitated.

It did not reek of garbage. This stench was different, biting, causing nausea. If my stomach had not been emptied already, I would have vomited. My eyes teared up while I slowly continued through the alley.

I got closer to the container, old, blue, rusty, filled up with bags full of trash.

Then, I spotted the foot lying behind the container.

Or... the remains of a foot, to be more precise, covered by cuts and dried up blood. Shaking, freezing inside and, despite my inner bleakness, starting to feel terror, I continued walking. When I had finally gotten past the container, I could see the thing lying next to it amidst a small sea of more dried up blood.

The body of a young woman, terribly mangled. The clothes had been almost completely ripped off. Large cuts covered the skin and parts of it had just been torn off. In the short moment I really looked at it, I could see that a hand, some toes, a breast and... the head... were missing.

After that view, I guess I just sat down on the ground, empty. What on earth had happened here? Was a human being able to do something like this? Such a depth of hate? But then I remembered my own thoughts of not long ago, when I had moved towards the alley in the first place, thinking of such a heinous crime myself, planning it, imagining every detail.

But I had not done such a thing. My thoughts – the only good ones I had had left – had stopped me, finally making my subconsciousness collapse, throwing away those positive and negative thoughts, without thinking them through to a definite end.

Still... what had happened here? Because, without a doubt, those were the remains of Caroline. The little clothing left was proof enough, almost completely gone but without a doubt hers.

How....

Who had done this? Who had nurtured such a hate for her? No, not me, my hands were clean. No blood on them, nothing! So, it must have been someone else! Someone who had been similarly destroyed by a mood of hers? This witch, this devil, this succubus! How many existences had she already demolished with her black soul? I am not ashamed to admit that her death pleased me. I even felt a bit of happiness coming back. There she lay, ripped apart because of her own actions, judged by the effects of her diabolical deeds. Had she felt everything? Everything that had been done to her? Or had she been torn to shreds after her death?

I... I hoped... hope, that she had felt everything.

Who deserved thanks? Whom could I thank for filling my void with satisfaction?

Whom...?

"Don't you love me?"

I froze.

What lovely, deadly whispering voice was that?

Purring, bewitching...

Desperate, sad...

Caroline's voice.

How was this possible?

Did I mishear? Was I hallucinating? She was dead, the remainders of her mortal body lay there on the ground, torn to shreds, to pieces, rotten, not six feet away. Where had this voice come from, had it come from inside my mind? No, impossible, that could not be! Would she haunt me, forever with me, her vengeful spirit restless even after death, still trying to drown my world in pain and sorrow?

And that question... Did I not love her? I had loved her once, hated her, both at the same time. Caroline had almost managed to destroy my mind as she had done with my heart.

Though, perhaps that was it, perhaps I had just heard the last vivid remains of a memory, calling to me from the dead one last time to taunt me, this horrible, disgustingly soft voice, echoing lovely for one last time.

"Don't you love me?"

Hearing those words again, I realized two terrible things: Firstly, it had not stopped taunting me, creeping up on me, that grisly sound of evil. Secondly, it had not come from within me.

"Don't you... love me?"

From the corners of my eyes, I saw the bags full of rubbish lying in the container slowly starting to move. At first, they only began twitching and shaking, but soon they rose, as if something was in there, forcing its way out. I just stared at those bags in terror, not able to form a clear thought. The hell I had left behind not long before rested inside that container... was waking up. The bags were pressed upwards higher and higher, towered up next to me, appeared to... multiply.

Suddenly, a hand emerged from within the container, bloody and mangled, slowly breaking free. It felt around in the air, finally found the wall of the container, and grabbed on to it. Its grip made the metal bend like tin foil.

"Don't... you love me? I thought... you loved me...?"

What was I supposed to do? The world came closer, as if everything got more real at once. The color of the wall, the stench, the cool air...

There was only one thing to do.

Run.

Despite all the chaos that had flooded into my world, despite the darkness surrounding my mind. In those moments I realized:

*I do not want to die.*

And death was near, a madness of pure extinction, steadily climbing out of that container.

I started running.

Just as I had left the alley, I felt a presence of doom, joy, pain and despair emerging behind me. A quiet whimpering echoed through the air, drowned my thoughts in nameless panic.

"Don't you... love me? Don't you love me... at all? Do you hate me?"

I struggled to get home and locked myself inside my room. Loneliness was not what I desired, I wanted someone with me, some company, but they were all gone.

No one was left, no one that loved me. Why did I get into this mess? I never had had evil intents! I just wanted to know what true love is, not this infinite darkness haunting me now.

It slowly turned night outside and I felt the unknown approaching, the creature I had encountered back in that alley. It had followed me; I felt its presence closing in on me. Was it already at my door? Waiting? Waiting to grab me with its horrible hand and to slit my throat? What might it look like? And why had it spoken using Caroline's voice? Why had... it killed her? It couldn't be human. Or was it something from before our time? Something we had all originated from, long ago, coming back? Why did I suddenly consider that strange possibility?

All sounds reaching my ears were so terribly clear. I could not distract myself from them, could not escape them. The room was empty, terribly empty, even though I still lived inside.

There was scratching at the door, faint but persistent. Claws that attacked the door to my room.

"Don't you... love me? I thought that you... loved me..."

This voice! Caroline's voice, drenched with sadness and love and hate...

It started banging at the door. Soon, the creature would be able to enter, soon it would have reached me.

I could not let that happen.

I jumped out of the window.

Luckily, I was living on the first floor, so I did not get too badly hurt. The people at the street looked at me in confusion and wrinkled their noses. Had they watched the video? Had they looked at my torment, perhaps enjoying it, with sick satisfaction? I could not think about that any longer, I had to leave.

From my room, the bursting of a door could be heard, loud and ominous.

"Don't you love me?"

Like a plague they sounded, those words of terror, a poison spreading through the air only carried by the winds. I had narrowly escaped, but what now? My room was gone, my only save haven! Everything was covered by a strange fog in my head, unknown and foreign. The people, the cars, the houses...

"Don't you looooove me? I know you loooooove me..."

Before fleeing, running away from the place I had once called home, I took a quick glance back towards the window, spotting two hands feeling around on the windowsill.

The city streets had become a labyrinth. I did not know where I was, randomly entered streets and alleys without understanding why. The houses got blurry, meaningless, only fear remaining, real fear, fear of the thing chasing me. And other thoughts pierced my mind as well from time to time: Had they called the police? Had they already found the corpse, even linked me to the crime scene? I had had a reason for killing her, would they chase me - like that unspeakable horror already did?

In some short moments of clarity, when I was not driven mad by panic, I started to realize that all was over. I did not have anything left. Nothing worth living for. Nothing that could bring me joy. So why was I running? Why was I running away from that entity lusting for me, motivated by deep strange love and hate?

*I want to live.*

In the end, I got to my campus. I do not know why I had gone there. The doors were not locked, some lectures were still held. There was knowledge being sown, to help other people make the world a better place.

But nobody would be able to help me now. All was lost. Where to now? Close by were the stairs leading down into the cellar.

Why did I go down there? I don't know. I just could not stay outside where all those strange people could see me, their gazes judging my every step.

I wanted to be alone.

So, there I was, in those bleak corridors of concrete, only metal pipes running along the walls, passing through the whole building like arteries.

I knew that it would come for me. I knew that it would find my there, under those neon lights.

"Don't you love me?"

It had come.

It was here.

It had found me.

I closed my eyes.

Accompanied by a loud rattle, the cover of one of the ventilation shafts fell to the ground. I could not look at it. Did not want to see the being closing in, but I felt it.

The hate, the love, the insane madness.

It was with me.

It had caught up, despite me running away.

"Don't you looooove me? Why don't you loooove me?"

Something deep within me wanted to look at it. Wanted to know what being had chased me, had killed Caroline, would probably kill me too. But could I allow myself to peek? Could I allow myself to look at that alien creature whilst retaining a clear mind?

To be fair, it did not really matter. My story would end there, in those corridors below the earth, amidst the stench of the heating systems. I would lose my head, get torn to shreds. My appearance would be shaped to look like my mind. A chopped-up corpse.

I opened my eyes, looking up at the ventilation shaft.

What exactly it was, I cannot say, but a scream left my lips, a scream summing up all the emotions raging inside me: pure terror and despair.

First, I saw only the blackness of the shaft, but soon, slowly, it emerged, made its way into the room and dropped to the floor. Then, it started to make its way toward me. It was a strange creature, shaped like a person but also looking like a wooden doll, like a perverted piece of art. Emitting clattering sounds, it walked on all fours, its head being a lifelike version of Caroline's perfect face, the way it had once been in my memories, but rigid and disgustingly artificial and made from a material reminding me of porcelain. It looked at me with glassy, twitching, dead eyes, but that was not all. Next to the four limbs made from wood, limbs that looked like they had been modelled after those of a human being, it had other outgrowths of disgust that twitched around. In addition to that, big chunks of human flesh had been nailed to the creature's body, so that the eternally bleeding, pale remains of a person were forever joined together with the nightmarish being.

A female breast, a hand... the missing parts of Caroline's corpse.

And fixated there, at the creature's back, was Caroline's cut off head. A huge wooden nail had been driven through her mouth, filling it up completely while also piercing the back of her skull.

Her head was still alive.

Tears of sorrow, sadness, hate and despair, tears of eternal torment ran down her pale cheeks in streams, whilst she seemed to try her best to articulate herself somehow, to call out for help or whimper, to scream or curse. But her mouth was shut, she was gagged forever, only able to produce a faint gurgling, pitiful and desperate.

The mouth made of porcelain, however, moved gracefully, whispered its sad, lovely, hateful question:

"Don't you love me? I want to be with you forever!"

The real head seemed to shake in disgust every time the question was posed, every time the creature made its desire for me known.

"No, No, I do not love you! I loved someone else, someone who never existed! I do not love you!"

That was all I could shout, filled with panic and disgust.

The being did not care. It slowly crawled towards me, one head purring, the other giving off dampened, animalistic noises of sorrow.

Then, I saw the bloody knife one of its hands was raising, to end my life and take my head and I spotted the other hand holding a wooden stake, one alike the one that silenced Caroline forever and bound her to the grotesque body.

In the end, I managed to get up and run away again.

I don't know how.

Just away.

I sprinted, faster than ever before, away from that hellish being. And during my flight, horrible thoughts entered my mind. Were Caroline's remains... her soul, her mind - somehow not being able to leave the corpse... damned to powerlessly be bound forever to that being of hell, with her mouth shut, hearing its whispers?

Now that I have shaken it off for the time being, now that I start to think about the encounter more clearly, I realize: exactly that is my deepest wish.

I hope... that her cruel fate is eternal, joined with that creature.

I hope... that she will be plunged into infinite madness, miserable and broken, never to escape. I want her to suffer until the end of days, until the stars disappear and time itself fades. I want her to suffer as I have suffered, back then, when she tortured me just for her amusement, just for her sick pleasure.

It also makes me happy that her fiancée and the couple that she ruined my life with have been found stabbed to death about an hour ago. It is all over the local news. Sitting in this hotel room, where they keep computers for their guests to use, paid for with the only money I have left, I feel a bit safe. This way, at least some will know of my torments. This way, you will know what really killed those people.

I am glad about Caroline's fate.

Are you not a bit glad as well, dear reader? Do you not feel that dark part of yourself right now, that tarnished piece of soul that lives within all of us?

I am aware: I will pay my price.

I am still hearing the whispering, outside in the winds.

"Don't you love me?"

It will get to me soon, I will become one with it, thrown into a final hell, helplessly bound to the conscious remains of my torturer, forever in her presence.

I have to go…

I think it is here…

## Characters

* Unknown law student
* Caroline Torres
* Caroline's fiancee
* Caroline's best friend

## Possible Connections to the Ebrugh

* The strange body of Caroline's Remnant shares commonalities with the Marquettes.

## Trivia

Smiling with only one corner of the mouth is body language for disgust. This further stresses that Caroline was just on the dates to reach her goal of destroying the student.