Relationships

An article detailing the relationships between The Nerds.
Still needs fleshing out. needs more on the dynamic, for example:

* patterns of behavior
* compare/contrast personality, philosophy, opinion
* third-party opinions on the relationship
* how the relationship evolves

## Carson & Lizzie

### Early Tension

Lizzie and Carson's dynamic is one that may be described as "opposites attract," though they find that they have more in common than at first glance.

Lizzie moves into the apartment after Carson puts out an ad for a roommate. There is mutual physical attraction between the two, especially on Carson's end. However, mutual misunderstanding hinders their relationship.

Carson's tall stature and athleticism intimidates Lizzie. As a lonesome nerd, she was bullied by jocks while she was in school. Lizzie assumes Carson would want nothing to do with her: "She's outgoing, fit, and has her own 'clique', she's a jock, why would she want to anything to do with me?" Lizzie has a habit of feeling like everyone is secretly mocking her, a trait picked up from being raised by a condescending aunt. She thinks Carson looks down on her for her meekness, and the lingering effects of bullying adds to her paranoia.

Carson, who often worries that she intimidates people, feels stiff and clumsy around the openly anxious Lizzie. She also reads Lizzie's reticent demeanor as apathy towards Carson personally. Lizzie's hesitancy, nervousness, and rebuff of any of Carson's attempts to get to know her make her turn away quickly enough. Thus, their early dynamic is marked by tension and awkwardness, and they tend to avoid one another (?).

### Intro to the Group & The Beginnings of Friendship

Carson is also the link between Lizzie and Carson's group. Lizzie catches them on the track by accident, intending to give Carson a textbook she needed for a test that day. She leaves quickly before talking to anyone else.

One night after a humiliating outing by Sadie's friends, Lizzie seeks refuge at the apartment. Carson is watching soap operas in her pajamas. Although she is not privy to the details, she notices that Lizzie is crying and and invites her to join her. This is the beginning of their friendship. Soon after this, Carson invites Lizzie to various gatherings with her friends. Though they all had varying opinions of Lizzie after their informal meeting, she eventually became a part of the group. They became Lizzie's first friends.

### Getting to know each other

Carson and Lizzie gradually become familiar with each other over time.  Each of them is hanging on to her personal losses before they met, and though they don't realize it, it is this commonality that eventually both brings them together and keeps them apart.

Lizzie's initial impression of Carson was that she was slow-witted and very one-track-minded. In time, Lizzie learns that Carson, while not the most intellectual, is resourceful, ingenious in her own way, very sweet and thoughtful, considerate, and very loyal. (Carson also "puts a lot of pressure on herself.")

As someone who is often stuck in her own head, Lizzie is not always aware of what is going on with Carson. Lizzie finds her mysterious and secretive in the early days of their cohabiting, which is not helped by the fact that Carson keeps quiet about her personal life. Carson goes out running early every morning, then disappears for a good chunk of the day, comes back around afternoon, disappears again, then returns home late often. This means that Lizzie just about never sees her roommate except for short appearances through the whole day. Later on, she notices that Carson sometimes takes an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom, then she stumbles upon Carson's medications in the bathroom cabinet.

This accidental discovery makes her awkward, and Lizzie beings walking on eggshells around Carson. Carson picks up on this behavior, which adds tension to their relationship.

### Confession

As they come to know each other better, their feelings turn towards the romantic. Carson begins, paradoxically, to put more distance between them. Carson falls for Lizzie first, but Lizzie realizes her feelings before Carson does.

Carson's disease relapses, which sends her to the hospital. When Lizzie visits her, Lizzie confesses her feelings. Carson reveals that she fears committing to the relationship due to the possibility that her condition may worsen, and that that would cause Lizzie even more grief. This is exacerbated by her understanding that Lizzie doesn't want to lose someone like she lost her father.

However, Lizzie realizes that she can't and shouldn't let it stop her from loving someone. She reassures Carson that they would make it through life's challenges together. They kiss for the first time and officially enter a relationship.

### Rom Ants

Once they are together, Lizzie becomes an affectionate and physically demonstrative girlfriend, initiating hand-holding, arm-linking, and cuddling. They sleep in her bed. She also buys Carson bunny-themed clothing and other objects. Carson takes some time to learn how to show physical affection.

### Late~~game~~book

Carson vehemently confronts Sadie's group for bullying Lizzie. This uncharacteristic intensity reveals to Sasha the true depth of Carson's feelings for Lizzie.

### Even later

Lizzie is a lot more comfortable in the relationship by the time book 2 begins (?).

"i like the idea of Lizzie growing more and more confident in herself when she starts dating Carson. Lizzie's quite shy, often never feeling comfortable around people to express even her positive emotions. but the longer she and Carson together, the easier she finds it is to laugh, to be giddy, to tease and humor her beau, and to be playful. she finds herself finally allowed to simply relish the joy of being in love, and to exist" <2017/08/16>

Lizzie has the same affect on Carson as Carson does on Lizzie. Lizzie is calming and patient and steady, and it helps quell the noise in Carson's head, the constant traffic in her head from her body talking over and over. It makes the hypervigilance less overwhelming, deafens the noise of everything.

### General meta

Carson buys a pet turtle for Lizzie's birthday.

"Carson likes the quiet ones, like Lizzie. Shy girls, girls who seem soft and sweet... shy, warm, fuzzy, fluffy hair that she likes to bury her nose in, nuzzle in, cuddle with. smol. Part of it is to help embrace her genderweird feelings. She has always wanted someone to embrace all the non-girly parts, to feel accepted for not being as feminine as other girls, to feel like not only is it ok for her to be that way, but to be explicitly desired for it. She's attracted to more feminine women who are attracted to gender-nonconforming women."

"Lizzie isn't that type of person initially, but she does find out that when she does begin experiencing attraction to Carson, part of that is to her gender-nonconforming attributes. It's meant to be a shocker and a contrast to her previous crushes, and it's also part of her character arc in beginning to feel more adventurous and independent. Previously, she only let herself recognize her attraction to women who were more "conventionally attractive" and "safe" to have crushes on. Feeling attraction to a woman more boyish/masculine/gnc made her scared, because that type of woman wasn't "the right type of woman" according to how she grew up (re: her extended family's negative influence on her)."

## Mia & Ethan

Ethan and Mia are close siblings.  Ethan is the only one who she allows to see how distressed she is during exam season. They are protective of each other. Mia was protective of him in middle school, when she guarded him from bullies.
They sometimes have major arguments, which are about school and family.

Ethan is protective of Mia because he knows that many people who seek to associate themselves with her don't really care about her.

He is a Protective Big Brother. In fact, the twins orbit protectiveness around each other. Most people define Mia through her studiousness, ambitions, and successes. Many try to attach themselves to her like a token, rather than a friend. Ethan is always watching, and he knows that they don't really care about her.

Ethan's birthday gift to Mia is tickets to ballet shows, usually Swan Lake, her favorite. (The others don't know about her love of ballet until later on.)

Mia would agonize forever about the perfect gift for Ethan. She would probably get him things he’d be too shy or insecure to let anyone knows he likes, like a new teddy bear or a trip to Build-A-Bear Workshop that he’s always wanted to visit.

## Carson & Luke

Sasha introduces Carson to Luke in their first year of college. They instantly like each other. Carson finds Luke’s jovial personality endearing. Luke is grateful and adores her right off the bat for taking care of Sasha. He told her, "you’re like, her hero, dude!" which flusters both Carson and Sasha but Luke raves about it on their first meeting.
They love hanging out with each other. Luke is carefree in a way Sasha isn’t. It’s freeing for her and lets her feel like she can act a little childish and have fun like she hasn’t had in years. It’s similar with Sasha, but there isn’t the tension of unspoken feelings.

## Blair & Mia

*"another one for the broody grumpy brunette goth/bubbly sunny blonde prep f/f trope"* --Ellis, 2019​​​​
(Their ship name should be "Deny, Deny, Deny")

"Mia and Blair have known each other for a long time, so they're familiar. when they start realizing they have feelings for each other, they worry about shaking the status quo between them" <2018/10/13>

### First Meeting & History

Of the group, Blair and Mia's friendship has the longest history, dating back to their early high school years.

They went to East River High School together. Mia already knew who Blair was, but they weren't formally introduced until Mia plucked up the courage to defend Blair from bullies.

Although Mia was shy, she worked hard to befriend the eccentric goth who others treated as a pariah. Blair did not take to Mia's concern very well but begrudgingly allowed her company. She was very skeptical about why Mia wanted to befriend her, until she realized that Mia's extremely full and demanding schedule did not allow her to make real friends. Mia continued to seek her out from then on, and the two became an odd pair.

"Blair's never had a friend before, but Mia is so nice and sweet and has such a soft and gentle voice. it's mellow and soothing and makes her heart race for some reason... and when Mia holds her hand or brushes her fingers over Blair's wrist, there's thunder in her ears." <2018>

Mia had a small crush on Blair, which only seemed to intensify at the same time as she repressed it. These feelings never went away no matter how much she told herself to get over it. Mia dates [Mia's Ex's name] in an attempt to get over it.

### Present Day

In the eight years that followed, their friendship grew deeper and warmer. Mia brings a lot of light into Blair's lonely world; Blair feels that Mia is her only real friend, and she is the sole exception to Blair's abrasive attitude. Mia also keeps Blair's sarcasm in check, berating her when she goes too far. Mia is the one who best understands Blair, particularly when she is bluffing. She knows that her coldness is naturally a part of her personality as well as a defense mechanism. The only reason Blair goes to the track meets is to support Mia.

Blair feels like a tagalong among the group, who is only there because of Mia. Because of an offhand comment from Blair, Lizzie wonders if Blair feels out of place.

She feels a longing towards Mia that she cannot name, but also that she is being unfair to Mia and Ethan for envying their close relationship. These feelings frustrate and suffocate her, and she doesn't feel like she has a space to unfold them, so they just fester and grow. This becomes a point of bonding for Blair with Sasha, who also feels this envy to a lesser extent. By Book 2, she comes to terms that this previously unnamed cesspool of longing and loneliness that has Mia at its center is because she wants to be closer to her. She tells Mia this, that she wants to stop feeling like she's so far away from her.

Blair has kept her romantic feelings for Mia under wraps until her confession via poetry in their college years.

Blair confesses her feelings through a reading of her original poetry at the Mulberry Cafe. Mia is shocked and does not respond verbally to the confession, which causes Blair to become tense and even more acerbic than usual. Through this period of uncertainty and tension, Sasha gives the relationship her enthusiastic and unsubtle support.

After a time, Mia tearfully confesses her own feelings and fears about the relationship. They agree tentatively to begin to date. Sasha lends more of her support to them.

Blair and Mia both have difficulties expressing their emotions. They make marked improvements, though it takes some time, especially for Mia.

Eventually, Mia admits to Blair that part of the reason she hasn't gone to an Ivy League already is that she wanted to stay close to Blair for at least a little while longer. Blair becomes flustered and very flattered and a little heartbroken for Mia.

### Gift-giving

For Blair, she would give something from the heart, something she’d agonize over. She would probably settle on a customized fountain pen. "Blair loves poetry and the macabre and literature and Mia isn’t good at any of that,and doubts she understands when Blair talks to her about it, but she always listens. Blair’s poetry is like feeling the ink being written on her skin."

Blair is very emotional and expressive for all she pretends not to be.

## Blair/Mia/Sasha

### Dynamic

Mia/Sasha and Blair/Mia are really shy about expressing their affection. They've been friends for so long and have worried, especially in Blair and Mia's case, about falling over that "invisible line" where something might mean something other than friendship that they've always held back... But knowing that the other feels the same is thrilling yet scary, so of course they're bumbling dorks about it.

Blair/Sasha is different. There's more tension, a crackling energy that they don't know what to do with... Each of them finds the other intimidating, in different ways. Sasha and Blair didn't start off on the right foot. Blair thinks Sasha is something of an airhead and while Sasha initially takes a shine to her, Blair's standoffish nature comes across as a little snobby and it rubs her the wrong way.

Sasha starts learning and seeing that Blair's snarky and sarcastic personality is something of a coping mechanism, and Mia can see their tension and goes to them one-on-one and pleas for them to give the other a chance. Sasha knows a hurting person when she sees one, and she starts being more gentle around Blair, subdues some of her vibrant personality in the beginning. It flusters Blair because her impression of Sasha was that of a carefree and careless airhead, but Sasha's emotionally intelligent. Sasha's tenderness frustrates Blair but also endears her to her. Because Blair's not used to kindness, she somewhat resents it but also really craves it. Overall, her feelings for Sasha are really mixed. She comes to love Sasha, eventually (inevitably).

After Blair and Mia get together, Sasha grows increasingly agitated, drawing the attention of both girls and their other friends. The pair surmise that Sasha has feelings for both of them, and that the feelings are mutual on all sides. It causes some confusion and strife between all three of them over the initial feelings of emotional unfaithfulness and guilt over having feelings for more than one person at a time.

Because she didn't take a chance with Carson, Sasha doesn't want to let this one slip through her fingers either. So, she takes a leap of faith and joins the pair to make it a triad.

Blair and Mia try their best to show their appreciation and adoration of Sasha, and in doing so, it helps them be more comfortable expressing their softer and more vulnerable emotions. In turn, they help Sasha learn that she doesn't have to be afraid of showing her thorns, the parts where she's more brused and wilted. As time goes on, they respond affectionately to Sasha and to each other, and their love is soft and tender and warm.

### Fluff

Sasha loves wrapping Mia or Blair in her arms when they sleep. Blair gets too embarrassed at being the little spoon initially, but she later on realizes she quite likes it.

Sasha likes to play with Blair and Mia's hair after they get together. Mia never mentions it, but she likes it a lot, as she finds the feeling of Sasha running her fingers through her hair soothing. Blair makes snarky comments about it at first, while secretly enjoying it.

Mia puts on private performances for them with her harp: no Mozart, Wolfgang, or Beethoven--she likes to play old lullabies or cheesy love songs or her own personal favorites. During the performance, Blair sometimes writes poetry. Sasha is always too engrossed to do anything else. Mia sometimes gets shy about their intensity, but she secretly loves the ardor.

After much encouragement, Mia and Sasha get Blair to perform her poetry to them. Blair eventually publishes a book of poems, of which more than a few are dedicated to Mia and Sasha.

For Mia, Sasha and Blair learn how to do various dances, so they can slowdance it out with her after she's had a long and stressful day.

Mia can always convince Sasha into a slowdance, her arms linked around Sasha's neck, and it's all sorts of sweet and soothing. She slowdances at home alone with Blair often, when Blair is more comfortable in the relationship. She lays her head down on Blair's shoulder while they slow dance.

Sasha and Blair freak out every time Mia's birthday comes around.

## Luke & Sasha

### First Meeting

Sasha met Luke in their junior year of high school as a transfer student. Although she was withdrawn and hostile towards other students, Luke was intrigued by the mysterious newcomer. He was the first to reach out to her and tried doggedly to get her to open up to him.

Their conversations were mostly one-sided at first, with him chatting and her responding once or twice. Sasha was not interested in making friends so early in her recovery period.

Their friendship didn't go anywhere until some of their classmates confronted Sasha about some of the rumors they heard about her. Their jeers got nasty. Luke, proverbially shaking in his boots, told them to knock it off. When Sasha asked him why he stood up for her ("Didn't you hear the rumors?"), Luke replied, "Yeah, I did... So?" In that moment, Sasha realized that she may have a new friend.

### Present Day

In the present day, they are each other's best friends. Their friendship is characterized by constant friendly bickering and insults.

Sasha and Luke are quite similar in behavior, both being boisterous and enthusiastic.

The main difference is that Luke's gung-ho attitude is a facade that he puts on to hide his anxiety. In reality, he is always the first one to back down from an outrageous idea that he suggested.

Luke doesn't feel as much pressure to perform for her because he knows that she's a messy person and doesn't judge him for his shortcomings. She sees him most clearly for who is, usually calling him on his bluffs, and is the one who can get him to calm down the fastest from his anxious episodes. She reassures him that he doesn't need to take drastic measures to prove himself or be someone he's not, and that the person he is right now is just fine.

He considers her better family than his own. In general, Sasha acts like his older sister and keeps an eye on him.

The first time he wandered off while hanging out with Sasha, he had gotten distracted by a funnel cake stand and bought her a rose hairpin, because "hey you have all those tattoos so you like roses right? here i saw this and i thought it'd be handy to pin your hair back, it's a hot day today right?" Sasha fumed and scolded him for disappearing on her, then promptly snatched the hairpin from him: "don't think this means i forgive you that easily, don't do that to me again." She wore it for the rest of the day. Then he kept doing it... over and over and over.... It drives Sasha to buy them matching shirts, one for him saying, "If lost, please return to Sasha," and one for herself saying, "I'm Sasha." They coordinate when they want to wear these shirts.

Luke is mostly oblivious, but he's good at reading Sasha. Some of Sasha's vibrancy is a cover for her negative feelings, which is something he knows well, though he does it more than Sasha. Still, he can tell when she's trying to be cheerful because she doesn't want to start crying. Sometimes, the intensity with which Sasha feels scares him, and he worries that it could swallow her whole.

Luke doesn't quite figure it out that she loved Carson until she tells him, but he knows something happened. He didn't know the extent of her feelings, just that she felt deeply.

Luke is currently the only one who was aware of Sasha's feelings for Carson, and he became upset for her when she realized her chance for a relationship with Carson had passed. When she went to a party for the first time in a long time, he became anxious at her careless behavior, fearing a relapse. They got into an argument, with Luke asking is Sasha was simply going to give up on her relationship with Carson, and Sasha denying that it was ever a possibility.

## Mia & Sasha

### Present Dynamic

Initially, Sasha was intimidated by Mia's seemingly superhuman ability to excel in all areas. She holds admiration and respect for both Mia and Carson for being able to juggle sports with good grades. At one point, she expresses her feelings of not being as impressive as the women who surround her, to which Mia replies that Sasha is the most loyal friend she has ever known, and that all her friends love her very much.

In turn, Sasha is the one Mia usually confides in about having to balance it all. Mia is attracted to but also secretly envies Sasha for her freedom of emotional expression. Sasha’s carefree and positive attitude helps Mia to feel grounded and to not get so caught up in her own head.

Sasha supports Mia's decision to renege on her parents' plan for her life. ("If you wanted to, I dunno, drop the Ivy League thing, cut your hair, dye it neon green, and join a circus, you know I'd have your back?") Sasha shows concern for Mia when she fails to take care of herself. Mia typically dismisses the concern, however Sasha is nothing if not determined, devoted, and doting. She doesn’t get frustrated over it; instead, it just makes her push harder to coax Mia into taking care of herself. Where Blair is cool and sarcastic about her concern, Sasha is more open and honest. She also worries constantly about the influence she has on Mia, who can be fragile at times.

After Carson and Lizzie get together, Mia supports a heartbroken Sasha, though she unaware of her feelings for Carson.

Sasha joins Mia and Blair's relationship after a period of confusion. Though Mia love ballet and Sasha enjoys faster paced music, the two enjoy slow-dancing together. They also bond over being women of color.

## Blair & Sasha

### First Meeting & Early Dynamic

Initially, Blair and Sasha's relationship is one of love-hate due to their personality clash. The main thing they had in common was their friendship with Mia.

Sasha was initially taken by Blair's cool persona and beauty. She was intrigued by Blair's air of mystique, then by her poetry when she found out about it (though Blair was unwilling to show her). Soon, however, she found Blair's scathing wit to be a poor match for her own short fuse.

Blair is mildly jealous of Sasha's ability to be open, her vibrancy and freedom to express her excitement and glee.

Sasha wants to impress Blair, but Blair doesn't seem to be easily impressed. It makes Sasha "squirmy." Blair worries Sasha thinks she's a snob; Sasha worries Blair thinks she's an airhead.

In actuality, they both think highly of the other but won't admit it because they don't think the other thinks all that much of them to begin with.

Yet, Sasha finds Blair mysterious... Blair doesn't open herself much at all, but when Sasha gets to see her perform her poetry at night, it's electrifying.

### Friendship

After Blair's public confession to Mia, Sasha encourages her and Mia to communicate about their feelings towards each other. Sasha and Blair grow closer and become good friends.

Eventually, they learn to appreciate the other and be friends in their own right.

### Romance

Blair's romantic nature combined with Sasha's irrepressible nature make for a passionate dynamic.

After Blair and Mia get together, Sasha joins the relationship, making it a triad. Sasha would be more comfortable expressing the intensity of her emotions with Blair, who has a lot of inner turmoil herself but doesn't keep it locked up as tight as Mia.

There is a "tension" and "crackling energy" between Blair/Sasha that they don't know what to do with. They're intimidated by each other, but it also has to do with the desire to get to know each other as intimately as they know Mia.

Blair knows Mia doesn't mind her taciturn personality, but she doesn't quite know if it's the same with Sasha. She's worried that Sasha would be dissatisfied with her for her struggle to express affection, vulnerability, and warmth. This is something that Sasha helps Blair to overcome as their relationship progresses.

## Lizzie & Sasha

### First Meeting

Sasha first becomes aware of Lizzie when the latter rushes on to the track field in order to hand Carson her textbook. Sasha's first impression of Lizzie is that she is pretty, but shy.

Their formal introduction comes some time later. After coming home late one night, Lizzie is startled and frightened of the stranger sleeping on Carson's couch. In the morning, Lizzie finds Sasha awake and making quesadillas. She offers one to a very shy Lizzie, initiating their friendship.

### Early Dynamic

Sasha has a small crush on Lizzie when they first meet.

As they get to know each other, Sasha can't help but note that her parents wish she could be someone more like Lizzie: quiet, polite, and sweet. Meanwhile, Lizzie is intimdated by Sasha at first because in a way, Sasha is everything Lizzie wishes she could be: sociable, energetic, passionate, and brave.

Lizzie develops a slight crush on Sasha.

Sasha is one of the first of Carson's friends to befriend Lizzie and helps her to be more comfortable as part of the group by includingher in the friends' activities.

Sasha is also one of the most supportive of Lizzie and of her relationship with Carson. Even still, their interactions tend to center around Carson and are otherwise superficial. Also, while Sasha is friendly and she likes Lizzie, intentionally keeps her at arms length due to her complicated feelings on her relationship with Carson.

Together, Sasha and Luke help Lizzie become friends with Mia and Ethan.

### Present Dynamic

Lizzie bakes cookies that look like calico cats for Sasha's birthday. When Mia/Blair/Sasha happens, Blair and Mia get matching black and white kitty keychains, but the girls have no idea what sort of kitty fits Sasha. Lizzie thinks calico because black + white + color!

## Blair & Lizzie

*Lizzie is a cuddly kitten trying to befriend an aloof adult cat.*

*"the shy turtle with the stuffy cat... or poetic corvid" --Cas, 2019*

### First Meeting

Blair becomes aware of Lizzie's existence when Lizzie runs into the group while looking to return Carson's textbook to her. Blair's first impression of Lizzie is that she is rude.

Lizzie meets Blair another day when she spies her sitting at the bleachers, watching the jocks running. Blair pointedly ignores her, and Lizzie is too intimidated to sit next to her. she's already sitting a couple bleachers away, and it makes her self-conscious <2018. is this still canon?>

Upon her formal introduction to the group, Lizzie does not make much of an impression on Blair.

### Early Dynamic

Lizzie has a small crush on Blair when they first meet. Lizzie, a hopeless romantic, has her interest piqued by Blair's air of mystique, as well as her startling beauty. She is intimidated by Blair's sharp tongue but soon becomes enamored with the cool, interesting, pretty girl who is constantly writing in her notebook. Lizzie becomes intensely curious about Blair and gravitates towards her.

Meanwhile, Blair is confused as to why Lizzie tries repeatedly to befriend her, rather than give her a wide berth as others do.

On the beach, Lizzie creates necklaces using the seashells she collected with Luke. She presents one to Blair, a symbolic tentative hand in friendship.

### Friendship

Although almost opposites at first glance, they find that they have much in common. They form a sort of bond around the fact that they feel like outsiders to the group. Lizzie soothes Blair's barbed wire edges, and Blair helps Lizzie feel a bit steel-willed.

Eventually, they come to see their similaries, both being lonely people, being introverted, having absent fathers and negligent mothers, being the only unathletic members of the group, enjoying literary pursuits, being people who struggle with emotional expression, and having a "general sense of displacement.". These become points of understanding and bonding with each other.

Despite these similarities, they deal with these issues in different ways. Blair is more in tune with her fight response; she created a sarcastic persona, grew up believing that "the only one who can look out for you is yourself," and lacks a fear of abandonment. in contrast, Lizzie is more in tune with her flight response, harboring an intense fear of abandonment and grew into a shrinking violet.

Both also feel like they lack drive and don't know what they want in life, and that something in missing. They both feel lost and stuck in place, though they handle these feelings differently. Blair wields barbs around her, whereas Lizzie tries to make her presence as small as possible.

Blair strikes up a bond with Lizzie after confiding her confused feelings in her <what are these feelings?>. Their relationship is very awkward at first, but the more the group hangs out, the more Lizzie and Blair gravitate towards each other due to their similarities. Sometimes when the others become absorbed in conversation about athletics, Blair and Lizzie turn to each other and feel a little bit less like outsiders.

## Ethan & Sasha

### First Meeting & Early Dynamic

Sasha was initially intimidated by Ethan, because he is large, quiet, and gorgeous. Meanwhile, his first impression of her was "smol. loud. excitable. dog? puppy? golden retriever???"

In the early days of their relationship, Sasha was worried about Ethan's opinion of her constantly. As someone who was used to intuiting others' thoughts and feelings, she was thrown by Ethan's incredibly effective poker face. Ethan thought Sasha was very sweet but also very keen. He doesn’t like being read like a book, so he’s purposely evasive.

She had a lot of anxiety over crushing on Mia, because of how protective he is of her. Ethan had suspicions of her feelings for Mia, but he realized that Sasha was serious when he saw that she genuinely cared for Mia as a person, in the way Sasha voiced her concerns about Mia when she's not around.

### Present Dynamic

In the present, their relationship is much closer. She considers him more of a big brother to her than her actual brother, which causes friction between him and Julio. Sasha is a lot more at ease around Ethan, even though she still finds him the hardest to read. He likes to tease her about this. He also quietly teases her about her "not-so-subtle crush" on his sister. (Though Mia is oblivious to her feelings, Ethan is not, and he makes sure to tease her when Mia isn’t around, otherwise Sasha tends to clam up).

Sasha feels Ethan is similar to Mia, only less high-strung and more somber, more subdued. Like Mia, he’s quiet and gentle, but he treats people tenderly, like everything is fragile, like /he/ is fragile but that he’s also too big to hold things in his hands. (There are times when Mia is less gentle, more desperate and anxious, in the moments when she grabs Blair's wrist suddenly, pulls at Sasha's hand, digs her fingernails into Ethan's arm)

Ethan and Sasha are two people who don't yet realize that their darkest parts are similar, and who have gone through a type of pain that is parallel but also inverse; in terms of public opinion, Sasha fell from grace and Ethan rose to grace.

They're also both very keen about other people, and they use that to protect their own images. In a way, they're both chameleons. They project what other people want to hear from them rather than their true feelings and opinions.

Ethan locks away his negativity. His anger and bitterness feel out of his reach, he feels more numb to his feelings than Mia, who feels everything too much, the buzzing of anxiety under her skin, the tension coiling in her belly.

Sometimes after an ordeal, Mia checks in on Ethan because she knows certain topics are upsetting to him. Ethan doesn't like stressing her out, so he'll placate her while pushing down his own grief. Sasha is the same way. They also do it to avoid confrontation or win debates. "To be specific, let's just say Ethan and Sasha are very good at putting down Sadie and her groupies, without, say, Blair's blatant snarking. It's kind of in a 'I don't have to use blunt words to make you feel cruddy' type of way"

## Carson & Blair

Carson is a little intimidated by Blair's sharp tongue and atmosphere. Similar to how Blair views her, Carson feels that she is distant and unreachable. However, Carson knows that she is guarded because has a lot of trouble connecting with people, correctly surmising that it's because Blair is scared of reaching out only to be rejected. So, she puts in extra effort to always be gentle and friendly with Blair in the hopes that she would be willing to trust her. Sensing this gentleness, Blair feels a little more at ease and tends to be a little less abrasive around Carson.

Carson also knows that Blair is incredibly loyal. Despite keeping most people at bay, Blair keeps her confidants (such as Mia) very close to her heart and is a friend for life. ("she's the type of character that is emotionally very ride or die, mates for life, keeps a pinky promise forever, cradle to grave, etc")

Blair admires Carson secretly and from afar. Blair is impressed by her steadiness and straightforward nature, that not only is she a good athlete but also a fairly good student, seeming focused and unwavering in her life goals. In comparison, Blair feels inadequate, considering her own scattered thoughts and emotions and lack of motivation and drive.

She also admires Carson's resilience. Considering what she's gone through, Carson still retains a sweet and mellow personality. Blair often feels her own emotions are both muted and yet in constant turmoil, but Carson seems to have a tranquility that she's drawn to. Of course, Carson's zen personality is quite practiced, and when Blair finds out (Sasha clues her in?), she actually likes Carson even more, because it makes her feel like she could actually connect to her rather than just admire her from afar.

## Ethan & Blair

Blair envies Ethan's close relationship with Mia, a bond that she doesn't have. They're very close, and in Blair's eyes, they seem to know what the other is thinking through mere glances sometimes. She often feels like a third wheel when it's just her and the twins together.

## Ethan & Carson

Carson and Ethan actually grow to be comfortable around each other. The world made them feel like they needed to be small, to take up less space: Carson because she became a tall woman, and Ethan because he was a large boy. This connects them.

## Ethan & Luke

When they first met, Ethan reminded Luke of his brothers, and Luke felt a need to impress him and prove himself in his eyes.
He thinks Ethan is "absolutely dreamy."
"even Luke's straight brothers comment on how pretty his bf is"
"see, this is why you're perfect together. you can correct all his fashion mistakes" - sasha

Ethan tries to get Luke to be a little more fashionable when they start dating. He takes him on a shopping spree and gives a makeover. It doesn't really work, so he progressively tries harder because by god he will not have his future husband wear flip flops at their wedding. Ethan buys him some lovely slacks and then has to watch his boyfriend walk around in denim shorts all day... (Ellis has to suffer through drawing Luke wearing baggy, ugly clothing.)

## Luke & Blair

Blair finds Luke easy to read and even more fun to tease. She likes to lord over him with her superior height. They like to banter, though he fears that her barbs are more seriously intended than they actually are.

Luke is intimidated by Blair and though he plays off all her snark with his own sarcasm, he's always a little worried that her critical nature really does mean she thinks lowly of him (Blair does not, she's all bark and no bite but it doesn't come across well to him).

## Lizzie & Luke

Luke is one of the first of Carson's friends to befriend Lizzie, after Sasha.

She is initially put off by his loud personality and energy, thinking him popmous and nosy. Meanwhile, Luke can sense that Lizzie doesn't really like him at first, which agitates him and makes him act even more boastful and energetic (he is not good at calming down without Sasha). Lizzie grows to like him when she realizes that all his boasting is an act, and that he is just a sweet noodle boy on the inside.

Luke tried to help Lizzie grow more comfortable with the group by including her in their activities. At their beach day, Luke notices that Lizzie is lonely and feels left out, so he stays with Lizzie. They created sandcastles together, and he let her bury him in the sand.

He and Sasha eventually help Lizzie grow more comfortable with Ethan and Mia.

## Lizzie & Ethan

Lizzie is intimidated by Ethan and Mia at first, because they're "the prettiest and most serious." His size and quietness intimidated her at first.
Sasha helps Lizzie get closer to Ethan. Like Lizzie, Ethan is weighed down by his family's expectations of him. Lizzie sees him as the one who is most like her in some ways. Lizzie comes to regard him as a big brother.

## Lizzie & Mia

Lizzie is intimidated by Mia and Ethan at first, because they're "the prettiest and most serious," and by Mia's reputation. She also has a minor crush on Mia at first.

They become friends after some coaxing by Luke and Sasha.

Like Lizzie, Mia feels burdened by her family's expectations of her.

For Mia's birthday, Lizzie gives her a scarf and a cute, handmade white swan plushie.