Rowley and the nails

219Rowley Jefferson, a spirited and mischievous 11-year-old boy, was celebrating his special day - his 5th 11th birthday. Among the pile of presents, he discovered two intriguing gifts that caught his attention.

The first gift was from the Lorax, an enigmatic creature known for his environmental activism. Inside the wrapping paper, he found a vial labeled "Tree Poison." Rowley's curiosity piqued as he wondered what mischief he could create with this unusual present.

The second gift was from none other than former President Obama, who had gifted Rowley a real hammer and a tube of nails. Rowley's eyes widened with excitement and anticipation. He couldn't wait to explore the endless possibilities that this gift held.

As Rowley continued to open presents, he noticed his grandfather, a man with a quirky sense of humor, had gotten him a game called "Starvation Hippos." Intrigued, Rowley quickly opened the box only to find real hippos inside. The objective of the game was to deprive the hippos of food, adding an unexpected twist to his birthday celebration.

But Rowley's attention was soon captured by the stack of wooden boards and the hammer. Unable to resist the urge, he decided to put the nails to use. With a mischievous grin, Rowley scribbled "I am an idiot" on one of the boards before meticulously nailing it into his grandfather's old wooden fence.

Feeling a surge of rebellion, Rowley took the hammer and nails around town, gleefully marking his presence wherever he went. He left a trail of willy-shaped drawings, much to the astonishment of the locals who stumbled upon his handiwork.

As he wandered through the town, Rowley couldn't help but notice a church selling crosses. Intrigued by their symbolic significance, he decided to purchase a few with his birthday money. With an impish smirk on his face, he placed them strategically in his backyard garden.

Little did Rowley know that his mischievous acts were about to reach a whole new level. His unsuspecting grandfather stepped outside for a moment, only to find his prized roses being urinated on by a stray cat. In a fit of anger, he mindlessly began relieving himself on the flowers.

Witnessing this outrageous act, Rowley saw an opportunity to teach his grandfather a lesson. Without a second thought, he swiftly grabbed his hammer and nails, nailing his grandfather's hands to one of the crosses he had purchased. Shocked and bewildered, his grandfather could only stare at Rowley in utter disbelief.

Before he knew it, Rowley's newfound obsession with nail-tying extended to his family members. One by one, he proceeded to nail his mother, father, and even his Aunt Bec's hands to individual crosses. The scene quickly turned chaotic as his pets, including badgers, rabbits, and even his pet wasp, fell victim to Rowley's peculiar fascination.

His family, now trapped and helpless, watched in horror as Rowley continued his macabre display. Blood trickled down their arms, but Rowley seemed to revel in the sensation, his mischievous grin growing wider with each passing moment.

Suddenly, the commotion attracted the attention of their neighbor, Jesus. With a bewildered expression, he approached the scene, unsure of what he had stumbled upon. Yet, instead of expressing shock or outrage, Jesus calmly walked up to Rowley, picked up the hammer, and nailed him to the final cross.

Silence filled the air as Rowley hung suspended, a peculiar blend of exhilaration and pain coursing through his veins. "We're all together now, an ideal party," he declared, a hint of madness in his voice. "Plus, I played with my toys for once and didn't destroy them!"

With a mixture of horror and disbelief, his family screamed out, their voices blending into a chorus of agony. But Rowley remained undeterred, losing himself in his mischievous creativity. He reveled in the chaos he had caused, blindly ignoring the consequences.

As the blood continued to flow, staining the crosses, Rowley's heart raced with a sense of exhilaration. His unique and twisted way of celebrating his 5th 11th birthday would forever be etched in the minds of those who witnessed it. Whether it was the height of creativity or the product of a disturbed mind, only time would tell.