Michael In The Bathroom

**Michael In The Bathroom** takes place in Jake Dillinger's Halloween party.
During Jake's party, Michael seeks in and hides in the bathroom waiting for Jeremy to possibly enter. when Jeremy enters the bathroom to hide from the others, Michael takes off his disguise and confronts Jeremy about his squip, leading to an argument between the two ending in Jeremy calling him a loser and walking out on him. This leads to Michael beginning to have a panic attack and locking himself in the bathroom.

## Lyrics

[MICHAEL]

I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall

I could stay right here or disappear, and nobody'd even notice at all

I'm a creeper in a bathroom 'cause my buddy kinda left me alone

But I'd rather fake pee than stand awkwardly, or pretend to check a text on my phone

Everything felt fine when I was half of a pair

Now through no fault of mine, there's no other half there

Now I'm just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom, at a party

Forget how long it's been

I'm just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party

No, you can't come in!

I'm waiting it out 'til it's time to leave

And picking at grout as I softly grieve

I'm just Michael who you don't know, Michael flyin' solo, Michael in the bathroom by himself

Oh, by himself

I am hiding, but he's out there, just ignoring all our history

Memories get erased, and I'll get replaced, with a newer, cooler version of me

And I hear a drunk girl sing along to Whitney through the door - I wanna dance with somebody!

And my feelings sink, 'cause it makes me think: now there's no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore!

Now it's just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party

I half regret the beers

Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party

As I choke back the tears

I'll wait as long as I need, until my face is dry

Or I'll just blame it on weed, or something in my eye!

I'm just Michael who you don't know, Michael flyin' solo

Michael in the bathroom by himself!

Knock, knock, knock, knock

They're gonna start to shout soon

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Oh hell yeah, I'll be out soon

[MICHAEL + ENSEMBLE]

Knock, knock, knock, knock

[MICHAEL]

It sucks you left me here alone-

[MICHAEL + ENSEMBLE]

Knock, knock, knock, knock

[MICHAEL]

Here in this teenage battle zone-

[MICHAEL + ENSEMBLE]

Clang, clang, clang, clang

[MICHAEL]

I feel the pressure blowing up-

[MICHAEL + ENSEMBLE]

Bang, bang, bang, bang

[MICHAEL]

My big mistake was showing up-

[MICHAEL + ENSEMBLE]

Splash, splash, splash, splash

[MICHAEL]

I throw some water in my face

And I am in a better place

I go to open up the door

But I can't hear knocking

Anymore

And I can't help but yearn

For a different time

And then I look in the mirror

And the present is clearer

And there's no denying, I'm just-

At a party

Is there a sadder sight than-

*\*hums\**

Michael in the bathroom at a party

This is a heinous night

I wish I stayed at home in bed watching cable porn

Or wish I offed myself instead

Wish I was never born!

I'm just Michael who's a loner

So he must be a stoner

Rides a PT Cruiser

God, he's such a loser

Michael flyin' solo

Who you think that you know

Michael in the bathroom by himself

All by himself

All by himself

All you know about me is my name

Awesome party

I'm so glad I came

## Previous events

Jeremy entered the bathroom to have Michael jump out of the bathtub and startle him. He's wearing an outfit that has been dubbed the "Tub Monster", which is a jumpsuit covered in aqua fabrics, solo cups, shampoo bottles, loofahs, and various other similar items. He then takes it off and begins talking to Jeremy, asking where Jeremy has been. He also warns him about the squip, saying he found out that his friend's brother ended up hospitalized attempting to remove his. Jeremy rejects his advice, calling him a loser, and then leaving.
Before singing, Jenna Rolan knocked on the bathroom door, to which Michael yelled, "I'm on my period". She responds, "take your time, honey".

"Tub monster" costume