Trouble in Paradise

**Trouble in Paradise** is the sixth episode of the first series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on the April 9, 2002.

## Summary

Ozzy has well gone into his tour, traveling across the USA. Sharon had returned home and says she'll reunite with Ozzy in Houston because she misses him so much. Kelly complains about her twisted ankle after falling into a hole exactly the same size as her foot.

When Sharon and Ozzy reunite in Houston, Ozzy says he had injured his leg during a concert. Back at the house, Jack and nanny Melinda are at each other's throats. Melinda blames Jack's moodiness on him being tired and sticking to a busy schedule, which is hardly true. Jack parties out late, orders pizza in early morning, sleeps in, and plays games. Melinda calls Ozzy and Sharon and says that Jack has left the house and hasn't returned for hours. She's worried that Jack might be dead out there and reveals he had taken drugs. Ozzy contacts Jack on his mobile. He tells Jack it's no such big deal to apologize to Melinda for being bratty. Jack refuses to apologize anyway, not wanting to appear sensitive and mushy.

Ozzy eventually returns home and despite a broken leg, he has to fetch the cat which walks around the dangerous unfinished pool. He wanders about trying to get the cat until Sharon finally assists him and gets the cat.

Both Sharon and Ozzy become fed up with Jack and Kelly constantly partying and bringing friends over at noon. They order a family meeting and give a stern talking to Kelly and Jack, despite concerns that Kelly would cause problems, it is Jack that becomes outraged and leaves the meeting failing to improve while Kelly decides to change.

## Memorable Quotes

"*We're on a whirl wind promotion tour, we started in six in the morning and it's now twelve at night. We have stopped for a piss all day we've been going all day!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Why do I always have to fall? I always trip and fall smack on my face!*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*Because you and your dad are accident prone, you're all doing it.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*It sucks when you're both gone because there's no one to mediate Jack.*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*He's fine, he's doing fine! He's complaining about his fucking leg!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*I'll get you a broken alarm clock so I don't have to get up in the morning.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Jack got home at Twenty pass four, so I was vomiting with fear. The thing is I was worried sick, Ozzy, was that he was fucking dead in the middle of Sunset Boulevard. Usually we get along really well and he's very good and respectful but it's just that he's got caught doing something wrong, and he's pissed off with me because I told Sharon.*"
— Melinda

"*He smokes a bone, you must tell me cause he'll have the fucking thing shoved up his butt!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Why don't you do the right thing son? It's a man that can apologize to women that can't.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*It's not all fun and no-no fun and no fun and no-no work, you've got to do a certain amount of work.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*That's the same fucking photographs I've been doing for 35 years!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I'll be honest with my wife, I can't do any jumps. But I can't go up there and stand like a fucking dork.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I mean I'm not one of these wimpy fucking guys who goes, "Oh Doctor, I've got a pain in my big toe, please don't amputate!"*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Kelly's turing into LA trash with all the fake IDs*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Oh for fuck sake! PUSS!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Puss...The cat's gonna fucking die, man.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Fucking Hell man! Where is she? Where's the cat? Did she run back? Where? Where? C'mon Puss! C'mon you fucking dumbshit mother fucker! NO you fucking landscape, fucking walking at this time. FUCKING ANIMALS MAN, I'm gonna batter the thing with a fucking-with my walking stick! SHARON!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I know this Sharon, but nobody else will get the fucking cat and-an I wanna-*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*(Scream) I saw his balls!*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*Turn it down a bit please! Jack the place is so loud! I'm gonna smack your bottom!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Big Daddy's just fed up with the bullshit.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*She's gonna go fucking apeshit tonight! There is gonna be World War III here.*"
— Ozzy referring to Kelly

"*How old are you?! How old are you?! Yes, ok, if you get busted, it's fucking over! Your ass won't even touch the fucking landing strip, man. You're gone! Outta here!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*What you and dad need to understand is that me and Jack have been brought up very differently from everyone else.*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*80% of the population smoke pot.*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*To me darling, that's no excuse. Because it's like 90% of the population has a tattoo, is that meant to say you've got to have one? 80% of the population pokes themselves in the eye every Wednesday, would you fucking want to do it?*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

## Trivia

* This episodes marks the first time someone is on drugs. It is also the first time Ozzy has injured himself in some way.
* Like some other episodes in Series 1 this episode is renamed "Break a Leg" on the DVD.