Zuko VS Roy

*Oh snap! These fiery fighters are forming flames, exchanging blows, and bending the laws of thermodynamics!*
—Tagline
**Zuko VS Roy** is the 93rd episode of DBX, featuring Zuko from the *Avatar: The Last Airbender* series and Roy Mustang from the *Fullmetal Alchemist* series in a battle between pyrokinetic rebels.

## Interlude

**Ringmaster**: Welcome one and all to MY arena where you decide the outcome! No rules, only bloodshed! I am Ringmaster and this is the exhibitiooon!

**Ringmaster**: Since I've taxed and hospitalised every relationship I've ever had, my new mandatory co-host physically lacks the capacity to get hurt by anything I say! Get out here, uh, whatever your name is.

**DUMMI**: Correction, my assigned name is DUMMI, and I do not lack the capacity to be hurt. I am simply in constant pain.

**Ringmaster**: Ehh, good enough for me! Our two combatants today are fired up and ready to "torch" their competition, heh heh?

**DUMMI**: They have fire powers.

**Ringmaster**: Eh heh, that's *great* pal, but you're gonna have to give it a little more pizzazz, a little more OOMPH, y'know? Just get the crowd "fired up"?

**DUMMI**: My sensors indicate that I.. do not give a shit.

**Ringmaster**: *(clenching teeth)* Oh-hoh-kay, then.

## Zuko

**Ringmaster**: You heard the floating personality vacuum. Let's start off with FIRE LORD ZUKOOO!!! As heir to the Fire Nation throne, Zuko started off life as angst incarnate. After a fruitless hunt for his Avatar man-crush, a heaving helping of humble pie from the greatest uncle in fictional history, the Zuke-meister became one of the good guys!

**DUMMI**: The "Zuke-meister" is a master firebender, able to project and shape flames in anyway he sees fit. This fighting style is based off of Northern Shaolin kung-fu, the same style I would learn, if I had legs.

*A chibi Ringmaster lights a match, which then erupts into a flame which completely covers him.*

**Ringmaster**: *(excited)* Oh wow, really?

**DUMMI**: No.

**Ringmaster**: *(cough)* Well, you know who does have legs? Zuko! He's so badass he can even redirect lightning, woo! And even makes up for his crippling daddy issues. We sure know someone like that don't we DUMMI? Eh, eh, eh, eh?

*A chibi Ringmaster points his finger up in the sky, then gets struck by lightning. He is then left burnt and with static electricity on him.*

**DUMMI**: Who?

**Ringmaster**: I'm handing these to you on a silver platter d- (grumbling), never mind. Zuko stood up to his dad and his completely bonkers sister with the power of friendship.

**DUMMI**: It was *primarily* with the power of firebending.

**Ringmaster**: *(sigh)* DUMMI, I get it, you literally have no soul, but I'm not paying you to float up here and not emote.

**DUMMI**: You're not paying me at all.

**Ringmaster**: Ah ha! I'm paying you in *(waving his hand)* *exposure*!

**DUMMI**: Correct, you're not paying me at all.

## Roy Mustang

**Ringmaster**: DUMMI, art requires dedication, honor, sacrifice, just like the military! And speaking of the military..

**DUMMI**: I see what you did there.

**Ringmaster**: Women want him, men wanna be him, homunculi wanna be as far away from him as possible! If James Bond could blow you up with a finger snap, he'd be ROY MUSTAAANG!!!

**DUMMI**: Colonel Roy Mustang is the state-sanctioned Flame Alchemist, capable of combusting anything he sets his sights on.

*A chibi Ringmaster snaps his fingers, then combusts into flames which entirely cover him.*

**DUMMI**: His ultimate goal is to usurp the warmongering King Bradley and become the Fuhrer.

**Ringmaster**: That doesn't sound too great out of context! And neither does Roy literally igniting your eyeballs, which he can do over and over, with a snap of his fingers!

*A chibi Ringmaster looks left and right, before extending out one arm to snap his fingers while shielding his face with the other. He snaps, and nothing happens, so he looks glad. He then suddenly gets engulfed in flames.*

**DUMMI**: Perhaps if I had fingers to snap, and doing so caused those in my life to spontaneously combust, I might finally be able to experience joy.

**Ringmaster**: Hahaha! He thinks he's people! *(inhale)* Ah, it's that exact same existential conflict that Roy brushed up against when dealing Father and his dastardly homunculi. What is it that makes someone truly human? In Roy's case, if you make him mad, all that matters is if you're COMBUSTIBLE! Haha! Boom!

**DUMMI**: I am combustible. One of life's mercies.

**Ringmaster**: Ugh. Even I'm starting to get bummed out, and I have a *lot* of emotional walls in place to keep that from happening.

## Prelude

**DUMMI**: Would you like to read some of my poetry?

**Ringmaster**: Nope! As always, the results of this showdown are up to you! Without further ado, l-

**DUMMI**: Roses are flowers, violets are also flowers.

*Ringmaster looks towards the camera, disappointed.*

**Ringmaster**: Let the exhibition begiiin!!

## Exhibition

*The fight takes place in an empty urban city at night. Roy is chasing Zuko out an alley. The colonel snaps his fingers, sending a flame which hits Zuko in the back and then flying into a car. Zuko sends a large flame out of his hands towards Roy, who snaps a flame back at it, creating an explosion, which Roy shields himself from.*

*When the explosion clears, Zuko uses firebending to propel himself high, then propels himself again to land next to Roy. He delivers a series of blows on Roy, with Roy snapping back at him, but misses as Zuko propels himself away. Roy tries to snap at Zuko again, but Zuko blocks his arm with his own, sending the flame into some parked cars instead. Roy headbutts Zuko, leaving the Fire Lord briefly stunned as Roy snaps a flame right in front of him, sending the firebender flying into a car. Roy snaps at Zuko again, but Zuko propels himself out of the way yet again.*

*After landing, Zuko fires a large flame towards Roy, who blocks it by snapping multiple times at it. Zuko reacts by increasing the intensity of the flame, which Roy tries to snap at again but cannot, the flame causing an explosion and sending the colonel flying through an alley and landing on a moving truck in the street.*

*Zuko follows him by flying with his firebending and shoots two fireballs at him, with Roy snapping flames back at him which Zuko maneuvers by. He increases the intensity of his firebending to fly towards Roy faster, but Roy rapidly snaps flames at him, one of them hitting. This causes Zuko to stop flying and he lands on a truck which is driving right next to the one Roy is on.*

*The two exchange flames, all of them missing, when Zuko looks up at the clouds and notices the thunder, pointing his fingers up to lightningbend. Roy jumps up, snapping a flame at Zuko, while Zuko is defenseless. When the flame is about to hit Zuko, the firebender is struck by lightning, which protects him from the flame. Zuko redirects the lightning towards Roy, sending the alchemist flying, landing back onto his truck, lying down. Zuko shoots a flame at Roy, but Roy, although down, still manages to snap a flame, hitting the wheel of the truck Zuko is on, causing it to hit the truck Roy is on, sending the two truck crashing into the tunnel in front of them.*

*The two are now on the ground, amongst flaming debris and breathing heavily. Getting back up, Zuko firebends the nearby flames at Roy...*

* True Ending
* Alternate Ending

### True Ending

*...who dodges, then counters by snapping multiple times at Zuko. Zuko dodges these too, redirecting the last one back towards its sender. Roy tries to snap at Zuko again, but his gloves burn up, preventing him from performing alchemy. Zuko then draws his two broadswords, running towards Roy and cutting both his arms off. Roy falls over on his knees, and Zuko decapitates him with his sword, then flies away.*

### Alternate Ending

*...who jumps back and then dodges the flame, before snapping his fingers. Zuko looks around in confusion, but immediately afterwards, his eyes get burnt, Roy's attack igniting them.*

*Now that his opponent is blinded, Mustang snaps two more times, further stunning Zuko. As he slowly walks up, Roy snaps another four times, each taking off one of Zuko's limbs before performing another one to completely obliberate his body as he lets out one final scream.*

## Trivia

### Production

* The connections between Zuko and Roy Mustang are that they are both animated heroes with the ability to manipulate the environment through mystical disciplines dedicated to understanding the natural forces of their world known as elements (Bending and Alchemy, respectively), specifically fire (through Firebending and Flame Alchemy, respectively). Both were originally dedicated and renowned soldiers of their nation's military (the Fire Nation's Military and Amestris' State Military, respectively), before eventually realizing their nation's tyranny and rebelled against them, alongside the younger main protagonist whom they are friendly rivals with (Aang and Edward Elric, respectively). However, the two had opposite desires and outcomes when it came to replacing their nation's tyrannical leader (Fire Lord Ozai and Führer-President King Bradley, respectively), as Zuko wanted Iroh to become the new Fire Lord but had to take on the role himself, while Roy sought to become the new Führer but let Grumman take the role instead after he became blind.
* This is the first episode to have DUMMI as a co-host.
* Zuko's voice clips were reused from the Danny Phantom VS American Dragon Jake Long Death Battle.