Return of the Calzoniverse Part 2

## Overview

Double Heads Variety Hour presents “Return of the Calzoniverse Part 2," where DJ Matt Fox presents a playlist combining Auld Lang Syne and music from a hamster. He loses Dillon to a cult, talks to multiple cops and trusts no one. Listen to the episode.

## Episode Summary

Matt Fox has been stuck in the Calzoniverse for the past week and lost Dillon Minacci moments after the conclusion of "Return of the Calzoniverse Part 1." Dillon then calls into the episode with a southern accent and claims that he's method acting for a play. He is at the One Steeple Church and has been working on the play for the past week.

Before Matt can start the show, a talking hamster shows up. The hamster claims to be visiting from the Hamtarotron Universe and is in the Calzoniverse for vacation, but she won't say what her name. Matt plays the songs she suggests and accuses of her of being cagey.

Jonny Calzone shows up to the studio, and Matt is so excited to see a familiar face. Similar to Jonny Stromboli, Jonny Calzone is not doing well and has recently gone through a divorce. His ex-wife recently kicked him out of their home, and he quickly scrapped the windows – which in the Calzoniverse is just plastic wrap – to pay alimony. He scraps windows from other unsuspecting people and considers it a job as a Stripper with a capital "S," but Matt worries that he's just a criminal. He also explains that hamsters hold all public offices in the Calzoniverse, and the nameless hamster suggests that she may be related to important hamsters in this realm. The hamster then admits her name is Squeak.

A woman named Patsy shows up to the studio simply to check everyone's pepperoni credentials, which both Jonny Calzone and Squeak both quickly show their pepperonis. Matt is confused by the interaction and accepts another caller to hide the fact he has no pepperonis.

Officer Lumbar Support calls the show in an attempt to arrest Jonny Calzone, and NAME claims to be an undercover cop and says she has detained Jonny. After further inquiry, it's unclear whether Officer LS is an actual cop or a stripper with a lowercase "s," as he seems to identify both as a cop and a hot cop. Squeak grills him on his access to velcro pants, which has lots of.

Dan calls to talk about his continued crimes.

Jason Paintbrush then calls to talk to Matt about a handful of details that he needs to firm up for the show's Fandom wiki. Matt and Jonny work together to confirm the Calzoniverse's reach and the number of cops on the show.

A final call comes in from Callie Calzone, an heiress to the Calzone fortune and alleged relative of Jonny Calzone. While Jonny acts as if Callie doesn't exist, she is quick to say that Jonny comes from the other side of the family and that they are in fact related. She lives a luxurious life as an heiress and spends most of her time drinking wine at 4pm.

They can't come to a consensus on whether the genres complement or contradict.

## Featured Characters

Matt Fox

Dillon Minacci

Dan

Jonny Calzone

Patsy

Squeak

Jason Paintbrush

Officer Lumbar Support

Callie Calzone

## Featured Music

Cody Wright - "Rapmaster Rocket Racket"

The Age of Rockets - "Pictures of Space"

Enge Buren - "Pizza Calzone"

CocoRosie - "The Moon Asked the Crow"

The Aquabats! - "Pizza Day"

Ian Hu, Mark Lambert - "Red Dwarf"

Matt Berry - "Beam Me Up"