Enter the Wigsnatch - Part One

Screenshot from the Live Stream

**Enter the Wigsnatch - Part One** is the first full episode of Queens of Adventure Legends. It is a rerelease of the first part of former bonus episode eight, and was original a Live Stream on Twitch. In it, the story of how the four original members of the main podcast met is begun.

## Synopsis

A banner stretches high: "Welcome to the Wigsnatch Commemorative Faire".

For the first time in centuries, the Wigsnatch festival is being held. It commemorates when the Great Queens drove away ogres who would eat the wigs of the town of Weavington Hollow. No one has seen an ogre in centuries, or a Great Queen.

Strewn about the festival grounds as field hands set up tents and booths are fragments of old statues: Stiletto heels, parts of ears with earrings, manicured marble fingertips.

Novice drag queens in
hastily assembled costumes hurry through the festival to a tent marked 'Contest Registration'. Four such queens, each having found a flyer for the drag contest in their travels, sit in front of a halfling with a clipboard, who is registering them as a team as they came without one. The halfling, Bunberry Shagfoot, farmer by day, volunteer by night, asks them who they are and where they are from.

The first is Fraya Love, from Oceanica, who made her outfit from seaweed she dragged from the sea behind her. She
worships Cher.

Next is Arson Nicki, a warlock from the Underdark. A former urchin, who bound herself to a powerful patron to
escape from fighting for her life. She is covered in sunblock and zinc based makeup.

The other two came
together. Harlotte O'Scara
grew up in the courts of nearby Sknorf. Bunberry notices her necklace. Harlotte after minimal prompting reveals she
stole it from a duchess. Her companion is Butylene O'Kipple, who claims to have met Harlotte while working as a backup dancer for Lady Gaga, who the halfling recalls is the most famous baby in the realm. Butylene brought her alchemy tools with her.

The queens want to know if the gig is paid, and if there are drink tickets. The halfling explains there will be fabulous prizes as this is the first time the fair has been held in centuries. There is a cash prize, drag items including make up, made a troll named Anastasiya who lives up in the hills with her wife Beverly. Bunberry announces the seven events for them to chose from. Butylene chooses for them to start with Tinglomany.

####  Tinglomancy

Bunberry leads the team to a sunken area of grass covered by a shimmering blue dome of a Sound Barrier spell that masks the sounds of the fair. Behind a table sits an elf, Amos Amar. He explains the Amar elves have hightened hearing, and certain sounds elicit tingling in them. He will judge them based on how well they can trigger his ability. The team's efforts, particularly Harlotte's, earn them a point. They leave the elf heaving and hyperventilating with pleasure.

#### Purse First

Fraya chooses Purse First next. They are taken to an area where a wooden plank is laid across two barrels like a desk. A man behind it is dressed in a rag made suit. He introduces the challenge: negotiate a high booking fee. Fraya tries to demonstrate her impersonation skills with medium success. Arson describes her unique style of performance, and she insists on payment in gold, all up front, no expectation for tips. Harlotte expresses her wig and costume skills, but a need for a costume stipend which ensures the best dressed show in town. Butylene intimidates him, insisting exposure is deadly to drag queens. Arson silently drops into the splits. The judge offers 2 gold pieces, eight copper, and some silver shells, then claims he would up the offer but gives the same offer. Butylene takes advantage of this by saying, 'yes, 4 gold pieces, eight copper', and cons him into it. For this they earn a point, and a single healing potion.

#### Platform

Across a muddy stream there is a wooden plank across two boulders, a rickety trapeze hanging from trees, and a wooden stage with a crate on it. A woman in a ringmaster costume steps out shouting "Welcome to the Gauntlet!" She explains three queens must traverse one challenge each while the fourth offers moral or magical support (which Arson chooses), and all in heels. As the queens take their positions, the ringmaster warns of the terrible beast at the deathdrop box - a lounging tabbycat with a fake lion mane. Fraya starts sneezing.

Arson supports with a fireworks illusion as Harlotte sings and tumbles over the balance beam. Butylene does interpretive dance on her swing, twirling until she hangs by her knee pits and shatters a vial of lavender scent and glitter as she descends. Fraya tries to distract the cat with a lit up bracelet, but instead the cat climbs up her. So she deathdrops from the box with the cat on her through a ring of *dancing lights* Arson casts around her. Fraya sneezes again.

Townspeople, drawn by fireworks and sneezing, have gathered and applaud and praise them. The Ringmaster declares it the best performance yet and awards a point.

#### Intermission

Bunberry offers to take the queens to a refreshment tent to freshen up. As they head there, birds fly out of a nearby forest, startled by something.

#### Oral Interpretation

Down a gentle slope, in heels, they reach Harlotte's choice, a semi-circular amphitheater with an oval stage. In the front row are two humans, one smiling, one frowning. They must cold read song lyrics. Their performances draw the attention of more of the townsfolk. The song seems to summon cats (and more sneezing from Fraya), and earns them a point. They also are given a scroll of magic missile, granting one use of the spell.

#### I'm Feeling Very Attacked

Making their way to the next challenge, a minstrel is pulled on a platform as he plays a song on harpsichord. They arrive at a clearing with a fence with spikes forming a circle. In the center is a man wearing black and white stripes next to a cloth covered object. Spectators have followed the group and peer over the fence as the queens enter. The judge declares that the Great Queens of the past were adept at physical and magical combat to defend the downtrodden. He leaves the ring and the cloth drops off a battered suit of armor, empty but with an unsettling red glow within.

While Butylene scans for weak points, Harlotte dashes, sliding between its legs and slashing it. Butylene tries to toss acid at a joint, but it bounces off, smoking on the grass. The armor slams against Harlotte. Arson runs to the far side of the ring and uses *eldritch blast,* while inventing the lip wrist with an innocent smile. Fraya leaps and does a full twist over him. She uses *create water* to fill the suit of armor with ice. Harlotte attacks again with her dagger to his shoulder. Butylene fires an arrow, which only spins the armor's helmet, causing it to miss attacks on Harlotte and Fraya. Arson fires *eldritch blast* again, punching a hole in the armor which lets the water begin pouring out. The armor walks to the side of the ring and falls over.

The crowd now bears signs supporting the queens as they earn another point.

To Be Concluded...

### Characters

#### Party

* Arson Nicki - drow warlock
* Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist
* Fraya Love - water genasi cleric
* Harlotte O'Scara - human rogue

#### NPCs

* Bugberry Shagfoot
* Amos Amar
* Purse First Judge
* Ringmaster
* Old Bootsy the Cat
* Amphitheater Judges (Comedy and Drama)
* Referee

## Episode Notes

### Lore

* Great Queens from centuries ago, drove Ogres away from a town. Massive statues to them were erected and a commemorative festival. The statues have been worn down by time and the festival ended for centuries, until the original story was believed to be nothing but a legend.

### Inspiration Earned

* Fraya - for Famous Amos pun
* Audience Member Liam - for guessing the ASMR challenge before it was revealed
* Arson - for her firework support magic at the Platforms challenge

### Memorable Quotes

* "Just like any water creature I have the memory of a goldfish. The attention span of a goldfish too." - Fraya Love
* "I plucked it just yesterday from a low hanging treebranch. Named the Duchess. The Duchess Treebranch." - Harlotte O'Scara
* \*whispering\* "ASMR makes my skin crawl. It makes me want... to jump out of my skin... and scream at salads... and look children in the eye and say... 'Why didn't you do your homework?' " - Harlotte O'Scara
* "There's people on treadmills, Harlotte." - Butylene O'Kipple
* "I would like to give this person the elevator eyes, look them up and down and say... 'Fine.' " - Arson Nicki
* "I grew the hair on the top of my head *and* styled it." - Harlotte O'Scara
* "Looking this good is not cheap, and looking this cheap..." "is not good?" - Harlotte O'Scara and Judge
* "In nature, drag queens die of *exposure!"* Butylene O'Kipple
* "I don't do economical math. I came from a place where we bartered and gave each other sea shells." - Fraya Love
* "Also, I want to trademark Drag-Merican Gladiators right now." - Harlotte O'Scara
* "Well I am deathdrop gorgeous." - Fraya Love
* "This does not follow any regular meter, let me tell you." - Arson Nicki
* "This sounds like we're performing some dark summoning ritual" - Harlotte O'Scara
* "This is an origin story. You never forget your first alias." - Harlotte O'Scara
* "So since this is an origin story, I'm going to try to do this sharp movement with a snap at the end of it, but since I'm more, shall we say fairy type, I can't do a sharp snap, all I can do is a limp wrist. As I do it I go, 'hm, I might want to use this later.'" "Arson Nicki, inventing the limp wrist!" - Arson Nicki and DM Matt

### References

* RuPaul's Drag Race prizes, including Anastasia Beverly Hills makeup
* Smashing Pumpkins
* Laganja Estranja's "I'm Feeling Very Attacked Right Now" rant from Untucked
* ASMR
* Famous Amos cookies
* Thorgy Thor being assigned Stevie Nicks during RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars season 3.
* Madonna, Lady Gaga, Cher, and Backstreet Boys
* The Birdcage
* Sex and the City
* Pointer Sisters
* Kermit the Frog and Kismet the Toad (a Kermit impersonator - yes, he is real)
* Paris is Burning
* Interior Illusions
* The Night the Lights went out in Georgia
* Playstation menu screen idle music
* Simon Cowell
* Pro-bending from Legend of Korra
* Alias
* Cat in the Hat and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.
* Sean P. Hayes
* Rocky Horror Picture Show - "Antici... pation"
* Aja's rant about Valentina from Drag Race Untucked

### Name That Tune

* "Stick With You" - Pussycat Dolls
* "Free Fallin" - Tom Petty
* "Rhythm of the Night" - DeBarge
* "Anthem" - Krazy Kitty (from AirBud franchise)

## Behind the Queens

The original live stream of this adventure was one of three live streams unlocked by the original Kickstarter Campaign that funded the first year of the main podcast.

During the original stream, this was stated to be a canonical story. The introduction to the Legends episode version states this is one version of how the queens met, which means it may no longer be considered canon.

**Enter the Wigsnatch** - **Part One** -- Part Two
**Day of the Lepus** - Part One -- Part Two
**Live Panels** -- RuPaul's DragCon 2018 -- Minneapolis LIVE: Gaylaxicon 2019 -- PAX West 2019
**The Pernicious Poisoning of Peachblossom** Part One -- Part Two
**QoA x NeoScum**: Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part Two
**Hang Ten**: Part One -- Part Two
**Geekhaus Live**: Part One - Part Two
**Emerald Forest Adventure Con**: Part One - Part Two
**Children of the Cornball**: Part One - Part Two
**Seattle in Chicago**: Part One - Part Two