John Bones

Johnny Skeleton

> *"Ought we not secure for ourselves those coveted rights of skeleton kind as equals of men, ere we, as all reason dictates, join the noble unicorn in the ashes of history?" **- John Bones. 1735.***
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**John Bones** was a radical skeleton abolitionist and former skeleton priest. In the early 1730s he left his position as a priest and engaged in political activism, protesting the use of skeletons in human medical schools. He was one of the foremost important skeletons in the skeleton rights movements of the early to mid 1700s.

He was executed on April the 7th, 1748 for storming Oxford university, killing 3 teachers and attempting to free captive skeletons being used as 'living' anatomical models.

He is remembered today as *"Saint John of Bonetown"* and revered in Skeleton faith as a saint of the downtrodden and the helpless.

## Appearance

John Bones stood at 5 ft 5 inches and had an unusually small skull which led to his nickname *"Smallskull".*

He was far whiter in colour compared to the average yellowish hues most Skeletons had at the time due to the amount he bathed.

## Early 'life'

John Bones was born via bone weaving in 1402, in Southwest England. His parents were named Magus and Skadi.

Born prior to the *'Laws of moral identification'* requiring all skeletons to be given human names instead of ones of traditional Skeleton origin, he was actually born with the name **Jonath Dekar Scodus**.

However as the laws came in to act on the 12th of December 1552, he was required to change it. He decided to take the name John Bones as J*ohn* was similar to *Jonath* and *Bones* was a common last name for skeletons to take.

Jonath was raised in East Anglia, in a small skeleton village built partially inside a cave.

### Priesthood

Jonath Scodus was ordained in the skeleton priesthood in 1544 and served a small Scall in *Bonetown* Bedfordshire. He served in the town for 187 years before leaving to form a radical skeleton slavery abolitionist group.

## Radicalisation

John began expressing radical ideas in the early 1710s giving sermons on the subject of Skeleton rights and preached against the use of live skeletons as anatomical models in human medical schools.

In 1730, John heard of *the cobblers revolt*, an event in which 4 skeleton cobblers were fired after demanding equal pay to that of their human co workers. After they were fired, they took to the streets to demand justice and were beaten down by the police, killing 3 of the 4 cobblers. After hearing the news of the incident, John Bones gave a fiery sermon in support of the action taken by the 4 and praying for the souls of the skeletons who died in the fighting.

Following a series of violent riots in 1731, Bones left his priesthood and journeyed to London to form the Association of Free Skeletons, a radical group of abolitionists and civil rights activists. In the coming years John Bones would grow in fame, in the skeleton world as a radical hero who preached a message of hope and justice for all, and in the human world as a violent thug who would bring about the end of civilised society through violent acts of rebellion. He was nicknamed *"johnny skeleton"* in the press and had soon became the most wanted criminal in all of the United Kingdom.

## Capture and execution

In March of 1748, John Bones single handedly charged the University of Oxford in an attempt to free living skeletons used as medical anatomical models for students to study. The attempt failed and 3 human teachers were killed in the ensuing violence. After police arrived to arrest him, they realised it was none other than the infamous John Bones and sent him to the tower of London.

After pleading guilty to the charges and showing little remorse for the dead teachers, John Bones was *somehow* executed by being hung drawn and quartered on April the 7th 1748.

## Sainthood

After the Skeleton rights movement was won with the Skeleton rights reformation act of 1756, just 8 years after his execution, John Bones was beatified as a saint in the holy skeleton faith. He is the patron saint of the downtrodden, helpless, and oppressed. His icon is a skeleton with a small skull riding a unicorn.