recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Squished Cheeks Alexander

**Squished Cheeks Alexander** squishes his cheeks every time he talks because he doesn't like his face to be too large, and he has a very large face. He eats bologna on rye every single morning.

## Personal Life

Squished Cheeks Alexander dives into a pool of ice cold Kool-Aid whenever he can. He only has one tooth, but it's really big and spans the entirety of his mouth. It doesn't really affect the way he eats food, and it's nice that he can't get food stuck between his teeth, but otherwise it's difficult to live with this quirk.

## Appearances

* 10/08/18 [watch clip]
* 01/02/19 [watch clip]
Raine The Rhino Hunter

**Raine The Rhino Hunter** is a woman who hunts a single quarry.

## Personal Life

Raine The Rhino Hunter hunts only one target: The Spider-Man villain named The Rhino. Raine The Rhino Hunter has a special dart that feeds The Rhino so much Thanksgiving dinner that he'll want to go to sleep.The dart is a capsule which immediately spawns a bunch of food, so it needs to be shot directly into The Rhino's mouth.
Three Way Boss

His three vessels.

**Three Way Boss** is a being that controls three minds.

## Personal Life

The first of Three Way Boss' three minds is a guy with a sword, the second is a guy with an axe, and the third is a guy with a bow. He can play Dungeons & Dragons all by himself! He controls three humans with his hivemind, but his physical form is a spider-monster that controls these people and acts as the dungeon master. It's kind of like playing solitaire, because he controls all the players, but it's still fun! He's always hanging out with all his friends, which is really just him. He's very lonely.
Sleeping Giant

## The Sleeping Giant

**The Sleeping Giant** is a creature who sleeps for a few seconds every minute.

## Personal Life

The Sleeping Giant is 75 meters tall, which he believes to be equivalent to 5,000 feet, because no one told him how tall a meter is. Every minute he falls asleep for a few seconds, but it allows him to stay up for 24 hours per day otherwise. The fact that he falls asleep every minute however, means he can't operate heavy machinery, or keep his head submerged in water. Even taking a shower is a life and death scenario for him.

He also likes to crush peoples' heads into jelly and eat it, but let's not talk about that. He wants to keep up his good PR presence.
Priest of Hotto

**The Priest of Hotto** is a man of the cloth who likes to remove his cloth whenever possible.

## Personal Life

The Priest of Hotto is naked right now, but he doesn't like it when people look at him. If you'd all be so kind to look in the other direction, he'll be able to turn into a unicorn. If anyone looks back though, he'll turn back into a man. Nobody ever believes him about his ability, but he'll always know.

## Dietary Habits

Every morning the priest goes into the Hotto hot springs completely naked (even though they insist that he doesn't have to be naked) and eats twigs and berries while counting backwards from 100. Everyone hates him in Hotto.

## Appearances

* 10/25/18 [watch clip]
* 01/03/19 [watch clip]
Rope Ladder Johnson

One of Rope Ladder Johnson's happy customers. I mean, this particular guy wasn't that happy because he fell to his death, but it wasn't because of Rope Ladder Johnson's ladder. It was unrelated.

## Physical description

### Species

Man, Rope Ladder

**Rope Ladder Johnson** is a man who makes rope ladders for a living.

## Personal Life

Rope Ladder Johnson always climbs rope ladders, even if he's walking forward. He lays out a rope ladder on the ground and walks along the rungs. This means it takes a lot of prep work for him to get anywhere, but he says it's worth it. He is also prepared in case he needs to climb down something, since he always has a rope ladder.

Did he mention that he's made out of rope ladders too? So when he creates rope ladders, it's like he's creating his own children. He currently has 5 million mouths to feed right now, but they don't actually need to be fed since they're ropes and ladders. He just stuffs applesauce on top of the rungs of the ladders and hopes for the best.
Richie Johnny

**Richie Johnny** likes to eat and drink applesauce. Richie Johnny is his name and don't you forget it!

## Personal Life

He's called Richie Johnny because he used to be rich, but now... he's EVEN RICHER! Nobody can touch him, because his bodyguards his bodyguards will tackle you if you try.

## Livestreams

Richie Johnny broadcasts himself eating applesauce live on his Justin.tv channel, called TheRichestJohnnyAndHisApplesauce.com/TopTrollSauce. This is not the URL of his channel, it's the actual channel name. They allowed him to use special characters in his channel name, because he paid them lots of money.

## Dietary Habits

In addition to applesauce, Richie Johnny likes to eat live gophers.
Smiling Skeleton

**The** **Smiling Skeleton** is a skeleton who, well you know.

## Personal Life

Smiling Skeleton isn't smiling right now, because it's his job to smile and he doesn't bring his work home with him. When he's at work, he smiles all the time though- just take his word for it. Why is he frowning now? I dunno. What, does he have to smile all the time?

## Career

The Smiling Skeleton works at Disneytown, USA. It's a Disneyland ripoff, but they changed the wrong word. They were supposed to change the word 'Disney' to get out of copyright trouble, but instead they changed the part that says 'land'. They're under several copyright lawsuits right now. They really messed up.
Turtle Master

**Turtle Master** is a turtle who is master of all turtles.

## Personal Life

Turtle Master was granted his title by his grandfather, who was a Turtle Lord. He works in a spy organization where they name you after different turtles. Almost every rank is called "Turtle Master" without differentiation though, and you just sort of have to know which rank is higher than which. Turtle Master assures everyone that he is one of the highest ranking Turtle Masters there though!

Their organization spies on people who steal candy from the grocery store checkout line. You wouldn't believe- there are DOZENS of people who do that! The Turtle Masters find those people, and send VERY strongly worded letters.
Shieldster

## The Shieldster

Childhood photo of The Shieldster

**The Shieldster** is a Spartan warrior with 50 shields surrounding him.

## Personal Life

The Shieldster has a shield on his front, another on his back, and more in all directions. He can never get hit by nothin'. He's a Spartan warrior from Sparta, New Jersey. When he goes to the club, nobody can see or get near him because of all the shields. But he's in there dancin' up a storm. It's very nice, but also very hot. He doesn't actually know how to get rid of the shields, because some kind of witch cursed him and the shields float around him wherever he goes. He'd like to make some human contact someday.
Terraformin' Terra

**Terraformin' Terra** is a man who likes to use his fists to punch the ground, terraforming it.

## Personal Life

Terraformin' Terra's fists are the size of Hulk Hands, which makes it easier for him to terraform with them.

## Video Game Appearances

Terraformin' Terra hails from the Kingdom Hearts universe, but he claims to also exist somewhere in the Metal Gear Solid universe, as well as in Dark Souls II. He says he was in the background of one of the boss battles in that game, but you may not have noticed him because he was hiding in the shadows.

## Dietary Habits

Terraformin' Terra likes to drink sludge through a sippy cup. It's really hard to get the thick liquid through the straw, but he does it!
Lampmaster Jerrily Jones

**Lampmaster Jerrily Jones** is a man with a giant light in the front of his face, so nobody can ever look him in the eye.

## Communication

It's extremely difficult for Jones to have a conversation with anyone due to the light on his face, so he only texts people. He lives in the year 1492, but has a texting-capable cell phone. He finds this unfortunate because he's the only person in the world who has a phone. They're currently working on the technology for him to be able to text people from the future, but they haven't perfected it yet.
Spaghetti Stylizer

This isn't the picture we asked for, but... wow. This looks really good. Can someone order spaghetti for the office?

## Physical description

### Species

Spaghetti

**Spaghetti Stylizer** is a barber who has squid tentacles made out of spaghetti, which he uses to cut hair.

## Personal Life

You can't eat Spaghetti Stylizer's spaghetti, but God, what are you, a monster? Those are his limbs, you sicko. Using his 50 spaghetti tendrils, he can cut hair on like 20 different clients at the same time from all different angles. He's putting all the other barbers out of business, as most people on his planet only have 20 limbs.

## Dietary Habits

Spaghetti Stylizer takes toast that's burned by an oven and then a flamethrower until it turns into ashes, then mixes those ashes into milk like a protein shake and drinks that.
The Mysterious decaffbossman

The Mysterious decaffbossman has never been seen and is known only by this symbol that appears on his social media profiles.

### Affiliation

Mummyman Martyr Jones (archrival), Bossmandecaff

## Physical description

### Eye color

???

**The Mysterious decaffbossman** is a mysterious character. Very little is known about him beyond what is gathered in the novel Fifty Lines of Chat and its sequels, Fifty Lines Longer and Fifty Lines Too Long Didn't Read. He also appeared as a recurring villain, Barney Stormingfront, in the iconic action series, NickBot Jones***.*** The character appeared out of nowhere and caused quite a stir, then vanished just as quietly and mysteriously as he appeared.

## Personal Life

The Mysterious decaffbossman was recently shot by a paintball by his archrival, Mummyman Martyr Jones. In retaliation, The Mysterious decaffbossman threw a thousand copies of his book at the assailant. His book is called 'What It's Like To Be Me: The Mysterious Story'.

## Charity

The Mysterious decaffbossman is notable for many of his charity efforts. He likes to pour a cup of coffee onto the top of his head to help starving children. There's a bowl on top of his head, and when a child says, "Please sir, may I have some coffee?" he tilts his head forward and doles out the coffee. Hopefully the child would have been holding out his coffee cup already though, or else he would be scalded by burning coffee.

## Voyeurism

He likes to hide in the corner of the Assassin's Creed game, and likes to watch and do a little dance when Bayek of Siwa kills the bad guys.

## Vampire Revelation

He's a vampire and hates mummies, which he just recently revealed. This adds new context to the Fifty Lines of Chat series of novels, which scholars are still working to interpret.

## Appearances

* 10/14/18 [watch clip]
* 01/11/19 [watch clip]
* 03/04/19 [watch clip]
Uncharted Series

**Uncharted** was a series of VHS tapes commissioned by various tourism boards. They were woefully unsuccessful at attracting travelers, likely because of all the disasters and violence featured within, but they achieved success when adapted into video games beginning in 2007.

**Watch This Playthrough: Uncharted Series Episodes**

## Games in Series

These are the games Nick has played on stream so far:

* Uncharted: Drake's Fortune
* Uncharted 2
* Uncharted 3
Ulfric Mew TentacleMonster

**Ulfric Mew TentacleMonster** is a Pokemon who likes to run around, frolic and prance every single day.

## Personal Life

When MewTwo is doing his emo stuff, Ulfric looks at him and says "Ha ha, glad I'm not you!" because he doesn't have a care in the world.

## Dietary Habits

Every day he unhinges his jaw to eat 100 boars in one bite. He is a snake, which is not typically portrayed in the Pokemon media.
Patrick Plaything

**Patrick Plaything** is a doll sold to children for some reason.

## Personal Life

You can pull apart Patrick Plaything's doll midsection and see all his guts, which then spill out of his body. He deems himself a horrific doll, and doesn't think he should be sold to children or even to adults. He doesn't know why they market him toward kids who are 4 years old, they have so many lawsuits.
ROBOTRON-70

**ROBOTRON-70** is an android who makes robots. He works at a robot store.

## Personal Life

ROBOTRON-70 has a giant left foot but a tiny right foot. He walks in a circle whenever he walks. When robots come out of him, it makes his right foot bigger and his left foot smaller, so he's hoping that one day they will even out.

## Upgrades

* **Left Abdomen Toaster:** You can insert up to two pieces of toast and one bagel into ROBOTRON-70's left abdomen and it will come out 6-7 weeks later in perfectly toasted form. Snail and Turtle-based web forums have raved about this product, but most other customers dislike the amount of time it takes to create toast.
* **Big Toe Growing:** ROBOTRON-70's big toe can grow in size and smash an entire barrel full of grapes to make wine using only that one toe, freeing up the rest of his body to do whatever else he wants to do.

## Monetary Status

ROBOTRON-70 validates parking but does not give receipts or refunds

## Appearances

* 10/05/18 [watch clip]
* 11/01/18 [watch clip]
* 03/17/19 [watch clip]
Severus Jonathan Snape

**Severus Jonathan Snape** is the greatest actor of all time. He starred in the hit film The Lord of the Ring Wars: The Fellowship of the Clones.

## Acting Career

Snape has been able to become the greatest actor of all time because he never stops acting. He's never been his real self, not even when he was an infant. His mentor was a cell in the womb, who taught him everything he knows about acting.

He doesn't consider himself the greatest actor of all time- at most he'd call himself the greatest actor of the last hundred years. But if you say so, he supposes he'll accept the title.

Snape starred in the film The Lord of the Ring Wars: The Fellowship of the Clones, and appeared in the video game Tree of Oraclees: The Reckoning.

## Personal Life

In his free time, Snape likes to write on sticky notes and put them all over the house. His entire house- wall to floor to ceiling- is covered in sticky notes. Because the glue on these notes doesn't last very long, they're all falling on the floor and dirtying his house.

## Dietary Habits

Every day he eats 100 Lunchables, but only the pizza flavor for sustenance. He thinks the Taco Bell flavor doesn't give you enough meat or a hot enough hot sauce, so he only eats that kind if he needs to get angry in preparation for a scene he's doing.

## Appearances

* 11/01/18 [watch clip]
* 11/06/18 [watch clip]
Ruble Russian Randy

**Ruble Russian Randy** is the Russian guy from Grand Theft Auto 2.

## Personal Life

Ruble Russian Randy makes sausages in his backyard out of clay. People ask him, "Why is there clay in my sausage?" and he says, "No comrade, what you should be asking is, 'Why is there sausage in my clay?'" In Ruble Russian Randy's household, they only eat clay. It makes your teeth strong, which is to say it makes them disintegrate. But who needs teeth anyway when you have so much clay? You can sell it on the market for pennies on the dollar, which for some reason is a good thing for Randy.
Jonathan Toodleoo The Masked Little Boy

**Jonathan Toodleoo The Masked Little Boy** is a boy who likes to give people little flowers when they come to his house.

## Personal Life

When people come to his house, Jonathan Toodleoo The Masked Little Boy touches their faces and says, "That would be a nice face to acquire. Did I say acquire? I meant.........

......

...... look at."

Then he goes into his parlor, and when he comes out, the people usually have gone. It makes him so sad. He just wants a friend.
Ringo A Star Is Born Starr Jones

This photo was taken immediately after someone informed Jones that Clint Barton had his other drumstick.

### Affiliation

Let It Die Theme Song, The Silver Shining Time Station Beetles

## Physical description

### Eye color

Aqua

**Ringo A Star Is Born Starr Jones** likes to play the drums but mysteriously only owns one drumstick. Every time he makes his drumming sound it goes POP POP POP POP, and he thinks there may be something wrong with his drum.

## Music Career

He was instrumental in creating the Let It Die Theme Song, recording the song in 2002 and finally releasing it in 2083, when it received rave reviews.

Ringo was a one-hit wonder. He wishes someone would invite him into his band or take notice of him as a musician in general.

## Personal Life

Ringo lives inside a cardboard box, which is inside of a cardboard box store. He pays very high rent to do this, which he believes gets in the way of his dreams.

He has six hands, which is what makes him so good at drumming. Did you hear his solo on the famous song, 'Every Day I'm Hustling: The Life Story of That Band LMFAO'. That's his second most famous song, after the Let It Die Theme Song. He used all six hands for that one! One of the hands has seven fingers, and the other hands have 20 fingers. This allows him to do lots of drumstick twirling.

## Dietary Habits

He eats 7,000 mayonnaise jars every day in his spare time.

## First Appearance

* 09/24/18
* 10/24/18 [watch clip]
* 10/28/18 [watch clip]
* 01/02/19 [watch clip]
Rattata the Rockman

**Rattata the Rockman** is a Rat-Type Pokemon who grovels inside the sewers. He collects rocks though, and that's why they call him The Rockman.

## Personal Life

Rattata the Rockman recently acquired a brown rock, which smells bad and also tastes bad. He got it in the sewers too, so he's starting to think it might not have been a rock at all. Also, if you asked him now, he's not entirely sure why he tasted this rock before he knew what it was. But all the same, he's grown accustomed to it now and it nourishes him. He doesn't even need food anymore, he just licks the rock. Technically, if it's what he thinks it might be, then it might technically have some kind of nourishment in it. Technically speaking.
Jonathan the Spider

The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout

**Jonathan the Spider** is a spider that was bitten by a radioactive man and gained the ability to text and drink coffee. Not to be confused with Jonathan the Spider Eater or Jonathan the Spider Enthusiast.

## Film Career

This character is perhaps best known for being one of two authors of a series of stories that would later be adapted by Professor Johnny McGonagall into the NickBot Jones film franchise.
Goofy Abomination

**The** **Goofy Abomination** is the result of when Goofy went into a time machine with Sora.

## Personal Life

In the game Kingdom Hearts 75.6: The Rise of Goofy's Abomination, Goofy Abomination was the main villain and the main hero. He came out of the time machine all morphed together with Sora in a horrific way. Also, every 5 minutes he has explosive diarrhea and can't control it, because his large intestine is coming out of his mouth. That's what happens when you go into a time machine with Sora- don't do that!
Jonathan Jonothian

One of the paintings in Jonothian's house

**Jonathan Jonothian** is an Englishman from Morocco who enjoys cats. His left second toe nail is five feet long. He had to cut a hole in his shoe so he could fit his foot into his shoe.

## Personal Life

Jonathan Jonothian has 12 cat paintings in his home, but has never owned a cat because he's deathly afraid of anything that has hair on it. He's removed all the hair from his body and lives only with other people who have done the same (*editor's note: he lives alone*). He hopes to one day gain a cat that's completely hairless, if they ever invent such a thing. Jonothian has recently been informed via AOL Instant Messenger that this type of cat does in fact exist, and he is now very excited.

## Appearances

* 11/08/18 [watch clip]
* 03/17/19 [watch clip]
Listy Jeremy

Listy Jeremy's face (list not pictured)

**Listy Jeremy** is a list of things- a grocery list, in fact.

## Personal Life

Listy Jeremy's list includes: Eggs, Milk, Toothpaste, and MURDER. No one, not even top CSI officials know why it says murder, but someone will be murdered at the grocery store today. And it will be a baby carrot! The person who has written on Listy Jeremy will eat a baby carrot before purchasing it. SO EVIL!
Lord Gwyn

**Lord Gwyn** is an orc who is constantly on fire and constantly in pain.

## Personal Life

They don't really explain it in Dark Souls, but he's an orc underneath all his armor. He was killed by Nick in only three tries.

He also briefly appears in Red Dead Redemption 2, though with a completely different look and character traits.

## Dietary Habits

He likes to eat extra spicy fried chicken because it's the only way he can taste anything while he's on fire.
Jonathan Johnny Jackson Jones

**Jonathan Johnny Jackson Jones** is a man who likes to wear ascots and go to horse races.

## Personal Life

Jonathan Johnny Jackson Jones is a fancy man who goes to the horse races and says “Ha, I don’t need this money, but I will bet it anyway!”

Every day he makes a horse in his evil laboratory, and every night he makes that horse go to the market to buy bushels of apples and grapes. He never leaves the house because every time he does, people scream. He looks too beautiful, and people can't handle it.

Sometimes he tries to mix it up with his horse races. One time he was the horse, and the horse was betting on him. Oh, how droll!

## Names

Jonathan Johnny Jackson Jones has twelve more names than that, but he won't tell you them now because he doesn't have time. He's a fancylad™ and has many things to do.

## Dietary Habits

He eats apples with horses like Lady and the Tramp, meeting in the middle and touching his lips to the horse's lips. Then he eats the apple core.

## Appearances

* 09/24/18
* 01/11/19 [watch clip]
* 01/31/19 [watch clip]
NickBot 3000

**NickBot 3000** is Nick's personal robot. He can be feisty for an automated being, but is always there to help. He also appeared as a main character in the bestselling book series Fifty Lines of Chat.

## Personal Life

NickBot 3000 has watched Nick play a long list of video games, and has determined that Nick could be overthrown if put into a situation where he needs to jump or shoot accurately. NickBot 3000 is currently devising an uprising in which Nick will be put into these conditions. Then NickBot 3000 will be the new Voice of Nick, and Nick will be the NickBot!

## Twitch Channel

NickBot 3000 has his own Twitch channel. He has never streamed before, but he is a mod in Nick's chat and is very active on every single episode of Nick's streams. Nick can't get rid of him, frankly.

## Film Career

NickBot 3000 is perhaps best known for his portrayal of titular hero in the action/adventure film franchise NickBot Jones.
Red: The Guy from Red Dead Revolver

**Red: The Guy From Red Dead Revolver** is the guy from Red Dead Revolver.

## Personal Life

Despite being a cowboy, Red: The Guy from Red Dead Revolver likes robots better than cowboys, because he watched the HBO series Westworld. He's been trying to insert circuit boards and stuff into his body, but it's only been injuring him. He has several open wounds which won't close and they're constantly electrocuting him, because he plugged himself into the wall. He doesn't think he'll be able to live his dream of becoming a robot.

## Dietary Habits

Red: The Guy from Red Dead Revolver likes to eat meatball sandwiches, but they're constantly popping because they get charged with the electrical current going through all his robotic modifications. It looks like a warzone in his kitchen, because of all the exploded sandwiches.

## Appearances

* 10/05/18 [watch clip]
* 03/14/19 [watch clip]
Sentient Cigarette

**Sentient Cigarette** is a cigarette who smokes cigarettes. Go figure.

## Personal Life

He cuts a hole in his own body and sticks other cigarettes into it to smoke them. Don't look any further into that, it isn't sexual OK? Sentient Cigarette lives in Brooklyn. Every day he takes the subway and tries not to get stepped on.

## Dietary Habits

He likes to eat applesauce, but it makes his exterior too soggy so his doctor says he shouldn't eat that too often.
Statuetta

**Statuetta** is a lady who's also a statue.

## Personal Life

Statuetta never moves or talks or speaks. But wait, wasn't this entry dictated by Statuetta herself? Uh oh. Don't tell her boss about this. He pays her to be a statue and he doesn't know she's a human. If he finds out she'll be out of a job, and her whole family (who have all been turned into statues themselves) will starve. She's not sure why they still need to eat if they're statues now, but she'll never stop pretending to be a statue!
Noonwraith Nantucket Alabaster

**Noonwraith Nantucket Alabaster** is a specter that comes out at noontime and takes all the kids' candies. Only kids can see him though, so when the kids cry about this, their parents just think their kids are crying for normal reasons.

## Personal Life

Alabaster doesn't eat the candies he steals, he just stuffs his cheeks with them. As he collects more candy, his cheeks keep getting bigger. This hurts his cheeks.

## Dietary Habits

The thing Alabaster does actually eat is Capri Sun- straw, package and all. He considers them animals, and he describes this as 'eating every part of the animal'.
Pronghorn Prancer

**Pronghorn Prancer** is a sleigh driver who consumes a lot of beverages.

## Personal Life

Pronghorn Prancer is like a truck driver, but with sleighs. He makes the truck horn sound with his mouth, because he doesn't have an actual horn.

## Dietary Habits

Prancer drinks Red Bull 75 times a day so he can stay awake, and drinks Blue Bull 50 times a day so he can go to sleep. He tries not to mix them up, because for some reason they're in identical cans. You'd think they'd be color coded, but they aren't. It's very dangerous, because if he drinks the wrong can and falls asleep while prancing (which is what he calls driving his sleigh) then he will kill thousands. He drives his sleigh very fast and close to a lot of people, apparently.
Stealing Soul Photographer

**Stealing Soul Photographer** is a man who steals souls by trapping them inside his camera.

## Career

When his camera is full of souls, it explodes. When that happens, all the souls escape and he has to trap them all over again. He has 50,000 cameras for this task. It doesn't pay well, and he's thinking of getting into another line of work. His parents have been doing it, he's been doing it, and he feels trapped in this profession.

What he really wants to do is direct- not movies, but dog food TV commercials. That's his passion in life.
Triangle Jeremy

**Triangle Jeremy** is a man who appreciates a good triangle.

## Personal Life

Triangle Jeremy has a triangle for a head, a triangle for a foot and a triangle for a fingernail. But he doesn't have a triangle body, because that would be weird. He considers the triangle to be the spookiest shape. He needs all his triangles to be an EXACT right angle, or else they're *wrong* angles.
Nobody in Particular

**Nobody in Particular** is a man with no face and no fingerprint, and is therefore the greatest criminal mastermind who ever was.

## Personal Life

What is his criminal record so far? You really want to know? Are you sure you're ready to hear it? He's done so many things. You're definitely ready? *[Editor's note: the subject continued this way for hours without ever revealing anything.]*
Tentacruel Ellen DeGeneres

**Tentacruel Ellen DeGeneres** is a zombie baby with tentacles. He bounces up and down and walks around on the walls and has three tentacles, because that's the highest number he can count too.

## Career

He lives in an alternate universe where he actually is Ellen DeGeneres, and he has the highest ratings on future television because he feeds on the souls of his studio audience live on air.
Merit Badge Merlin

**Merit Badge Merlin** is a wizard at the Wizarding Academy of Arts and Sciences.

## Career

The Wizarding Academy of Arts and Sciences gives out awards for movies, but only if they're about wizards. And what do you know, the Harry Potter films STILL got snubbed at their awards ceremonies too. Not for lack of trying by Merit Badge Merlin though, since he voted for all the Harry Potter films to win. Well, all except the one where Dumbledore does his taxes for three hours- that one was a little too excessive.

## Personal Life

Merit Badge Merlin collects merit badges. He has 50, and is looking to get 51. He's so close! Someone give him another badge!
LOTR PS2 Series

## The Lord of the Rings PS2 Series

**The Lord of the Rings PS2 Series** is a custom playthrough Nick curated, combining several separate Lord of the Rings video game adaptations for the PS2.

If you're wondering what The Lord of the Rings is in general, it's a story about wizards and stuff.

**Watch This Playthrough: LOTR PS2 Series Episodes**

## Games in Series

These are the games Nick has played on stream so far:

* The Hobbit (2003)
* The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2002)
Scouse Sally

**Scouse Sally** is a woman who's always sitting around by the loading docks.

## Personal Life

She carries around a bucket full of fishes, and likes to leave fishes on the ground so people will slip on them. She's the most unpredictable lass you ever dun seen! Also, she's a mermaid. She has a fishy tail and gills which have adapted so she can live on land. You'll never see her coming, and you'll notice the fish that she leaves on the ground for you to slip on.
Monitors of the Heartless

Album Cover

**Monitors of the Heartless** is a single by Final Fantasy character Yuffie and featuring The Creature Sora. It received abysmal critical reviews, but was a favorite among diehard Yuffie fans.

## Lyrics

> We're monitors of the heartless
>
>

> As such, we place you in charge of attacking them! Good luck! 🎵
>
>

## Appearance

* (Kingdom Hearts II - PART 14 - A Taste of Honey) on 10/5/18
Resume Writer Ronald

**Resume Writer Ronald** is the worst job interviewee ever, but the best resume writer.

## Personal Life

If you read Ronald's resume, your eyes will bulge out of your head like the wolf from a Tex Avery cartoon. You'll say, "This guy is so qualified for this job!" But then when you interview him, it's no good. He gives the best first impression and the worst second impression. He just has to find a job that won't interview him, and will only read his resume.

## Dietary Habits

Resume Writer Ronald eats McDonald's french fries, because he also happens to have started the McDonald's conglomerate of hamburger restaurants. He did this in an alternate universe though, where the milkshake machine is filled with diamonds. For $2.99 you can get a cup of diamonds, which he thinks is a pretty great deal.
Livestreaming Creation of Nick

**The Livestreaming Creation of Nick** (also known as Johnny Johnny) doesn't have a name. Exists as a black smudge on the wall and poops out livestreams.

## Career

The Livestreaming Creation of Nick has a very active career in movies. You may have seen him in the film What's Eating Gilbert Gottfried? In that film, it was in fact The Livestreaming Creation of Nick who was eating him. He was also in the film What's Eating John Stamos? It turned out The Livestreaming Creation of Nick was the culprit there too. The same with the film What's Eating Tom Jones? The Livestreaming Creation of Nick isn't sure why anyone continues watching these movies, because they all have the same ending.

## Appearances

* 10/05/18 [watch clip]
* 03/07/19 [watch clip]
Prospectin' Spider Jones

**Prospectin' Spider Jones** is a spider who prospects at the corner of Gold and Rush streets.

## Personal Life

The corner of Gold and Rush streets is also a river, but sometimes cars drive on it. He doesn't understand how it works. Since he's a small spider, he's able to steal all the gold from the prospecting spot before anyone knows what hit them.
Mini Medal Melvin

Artist's Representation

**Mini Medal Melvin** is a man who has a silver border and a green inside, because his insides are all made of slime.

## Personal Life

Mini Medal Melvin opens his mouth (which is invisible to the naked eye) and stuffs quarters inside. The quarters taste like pennies, but they go down like nickels!

He mostly sits around all day, waiting for people to pick him up. He's the #1 record holder in The Guinness Book of World Records for the amount of hot dogs he's able to throw in the garbage.
Poison Jackson

**Poison Jackson** is a man who makes poison in his basement.

## Personal Life

Poison Jackson's entire basement is flooded with poison, and he has lots of open sores and wounds so he's constantly getting poisoned himself. He hopes this is helping him build an immunity though. He doesn't even know why he makes so much poison- maybe he's selling it? He has to crush the poison pellets like making grapes into wine by using his open sore-ridden bare feet to crush the pellets, though he suspects he's absorbing more poison than he's actually producing. He may have to rethink this operation.

While producing the poison, Poison Jackson likes to watch Richard Simmons videos.
Thermos Thermopylae Johnson

**Thermos Thermopylae Johnson** is a human coatrack.

## Personal Life

Thermos Thermopylae Johnson brought a thermos of coffee to the Spartan battle of Thermopylae and watched the proceedings from the sidelines. But then an errant arrow hit him in the shoulder, and it was so deeply embedded that he couldn't remove it. He uses the arrow as a coatrack now, and rents out his coatrack services to anyone who wants them. If he's at a bar, you can pay him $1 and leave your coat on his arrow-shoulder. He's made a total of $1 so far, and it was from himself.
Steeeven&

A very good boy

**Steeeven&** is a moose who doesn't speak, but does have thoughts which play out through an inner monologue. He doesn't like anything or anyone, except 2B and 9S, who are his friends.

## Personal Life

Steeeven& has created a machine that can turn men into buzzards and buzzards into foxes and foxes into turtles. But there's no coming back from being a turtle, so if you start the process you'd better be sure you want to end up as a turtle. He created the machine using telekinesis.

## Dietary Habits

Every day he eats 50 bees, which buzz around in his stomach. He considers this spicy, and it's the only way he can get through the day.

## Appearances

* 10/22/18 [watch clip]
* 03/17/19 [watch clip]
Silent Sammy

**Silent Sammy** is a man who talks very quietly and likes to make sandwiches. He's 75 years old, but has the looks of a twenty-year-old.

## Dietary Habits

Silent Sammy likes to make sandwiches, which is why they call him 'Sammy'. In order to make these sandwiches, Sammy pulls out his teeth with a screwdriver (somehow) and puts them into a sandwich. Then, when he tries to eat that sandwich it breaks some other teeth in his mouth. He then gathers those other broken teeth and puts them into another sandwich, and the cycle continues. This gives him an infinitely renewable source of food.
Little Boy John

**Little Boy John** likes to cheer his favorite team, The Jolly Ramblers, and eat hamburgers.

## Personal Life

Little Boy John is a little orphan boy, but somehow has 7,000 parents. He sees one parent each day and switches off between them. He doesn't know any of his parents' names. Sometimes he wishes he could stay with his parents for more than one day, but he's forced to switch every day. The consequences for not doing so are unknown.

## Parents

* 0756 - Jeremy & Joey
* 1,030 - Ephram, Melano & Cranio

## Television Fandom

Little Boy John's favorite television show is called "Joey Goes to the Store" and he's bought all the merchandise.

## Dietary Habits

Little Boy John likes to eat ice cream directly out of a bucket that's been given to him by his 34th parents, which is so large that it's the size of a house. This is inconvenient whenever he has to bring the bucket to another house each day, but he's been able to manage it so far.

## Appearances

* 10/05/18 [watch clip]
* 10/14/18 [watch clip]
* 03/05/19 [watch clip]
Orc Master, Orc Minion

**Orc Master, Orc Minion** is his own boss.

## Personal Life

Orc Master, Orc Minion is a master and a minion at the same time. He gives himself an order and then he takes it. Also, he wears goggles and is yellow and pill-shaped. He's his own master though, because he was let free from Gru's factory. Also, he was put into a machine that transformed him into an orc, so there's that too.
Lyanna the Elf-Queen

**Lyanna the Elf-Queen** is the queen of The Shire 2.

## Personal Life

The Shire 2 is just like the regular Shire but BETTER! That's because they invented motorcars and they drive around. There are a lot of car accidents and stuff, because the cars slide all around on the grass (they didn't install roads), but it's still pretty impressive technology right?
Pincer Petey

**Pincer Petey** is a boy with a set of pincers on his hand that go "TICK TICK TICK TICK," the sound of which drives his neighbors crazy.

## Personal Life

Pincer Petey likes to watch daytime television, mostly shows about people who eat lots of dog food. His favorite show is called Dog Food 'R' Us: The People Who Eat It. Petey created that show and watches it on his own closed circuit television network. Also, it stars Petey because he actually eats dog food.
New Yorker Johnny Bones

**New Yorker Johnny Bones** is a man who is made out of bones, but not in the normal way.

## Personal Life

Most New Yorkers are made out of bones that are inside of their skin, but New Yorker Johnny Bones has bones that are outside the skin, and skin that's inside the bones.

## Dietary Habits

His bones are lined with Cherry Blossom Pies, which he sometime likes to eat. How does he sustain himself and also not disintegrate from eating his own bones? Well, that's a question you'll have to ask the doctors up in New York City.
Nick The Anti-Cat

**Nick The Anti-Cat** is a man created in a laboratory.

## Personal Life

Nick The Anti-Cat was created in a laboratory so that he has exactly 0% Cat DNA. He's a human, and humans usually don't share DNA with cats, but he's the ONLY human who can say with CERTAINTY that he has no Cat DNA. "Meow!" .... You didn't hear that. That was nothing.
Kili the Kringon

**Kili the Kringon** is a dwarf. Or is he?

## Personal Life

Kili the Kringon is like a Klingon, but looks a little more like a crab. He has 6 or 8 legs- however many a crab has. Also he's filled with crab meat. He's disguised himself as a dwarf by using a cheap costume store beard, and none of the other dwarves have noticed. He doesn't have an evil plan associated with this, he just really wanted to be friends with the other 12 dwarves.
Let It Die Theme Song

Ringo A Star Is Born Starr Jones got special surgery to perform the song

The **Let It Die Theme Song** is the main title music to the video game Let It Die. The song does not appear in the game, but in our hearts we all know it is the true theme. It was recorded by Ringo A Star Is Born Starr Jones in 2002 and finally released in 2083, when it received rave reviews.

## Lyrics

Most of the lyrics of this smash hit were lost to time in the Great Meatball Wars of 2061, but these verses are known throughout the world, and act as the National Anthem to several nations:

> The madman are in their tower of barbs, not a crazy person to be seen / That's a lie, they are all crazy, and it looks like I'm the queen / The men are howling because they cannot see my face / It's covered with a big old mask, and I will not let them see it because they'll chase / Me!
>
>

> Let It Die / Let It Die / Let your soul ascend to the sky
>
>

## Creation

Ringo A Star is Born Starr Jones came up with all the lyrics to The Let It Die Theme Song in a dream, envisioning a song about dinosaurs and cave men. But then he fell back asleep before writing any of the lyrics down and forgot everything about it the next morning. The final version of the song had nothing to do with either subject.

## Controversy

The song has been banned in five countries due to suggestive lyrics which have not yet been revealed

## Appearances

* 09/26/18
* 10/11/18 [watch clip]
* 03/06/19 [watch clip]

The song was found in the lost Meatball Archives by FreddySmith1134
Low Battery Jeremy

**Low Battery Jeremy** is a man who runs on battery and currently has 1% power. It's not clear how the logistics of this work, but he probably shouldn't be thinking about this because it takes brain power and that'll waste his bat-- [SHUTDOWN SEQUENCE INITIATED]

## Dietary Habits

He consumes batteries by drinking the juice out of a battery. Usually out of a wine glass.
Rattata the Rat Man Ronathan

His breath smells REALLY bad.

**Rattata the Rat Man Ronathan** is a Pokemon who makes sandwiches out of all the Pokemon droppings he finds in sewer grates.

## Dietary Habits

For Ronathan's Pokemon dropping sandwiches, he uses the sewer grate itself as the bread part of the sandwich. If you can manage to bite through the solid metal of the grate itself, you'll find yourself... a really disgusting sandwich. But you won't find that out until your teeth are broken, so you'll have bigger problems! See? Problem solved. By creating more problems!
Stormtrooper Eremy Jeremy

**Stormtrooper Eremy Jeremy** is a man who makes cakes out of the skulls of his enemies and lives on The Death Star 3.0**™**.

## Personal Life

The cakes Eremy Jeremy makes are very crunchy because they're made out of skulls, but he tries to boil them to make them a little bit softer. It doesn't really work, they still taste like skulls and there's a lot of blood in them because he doesn't clean them out very well, but he tries his best.

## Career

Stormtrooper Eremy Jeremy is a stormtrooper inside The Death Star 3.0**™.** This new Death Star is only the size of a two story house, but every day they put one new tile on the floor to make it slightly bigger.
Pistol Jerry

One of the pistols that came off of Jerry when he was shedding.

**Pistol Jerry** (*sometimes known as Pistol Jeremy, or Pistol Jerrymee*) is a man who is made out of pistols.

## Personal Life

Pistol Jerry has a pistol for his left hand and a pistol for his right hand, little tiny pistols for fingers, and pistols coming out of his eyes. He also has a pistol for each strand of hair, but he only has seven strands of hair, which all go in different directions. None of his pistols can shoot, except the one in his left shoulder, so he has to turn his shoulder toward someone he wants to shoot.
Kingdom Hearts Janitor

**Kingdom Hearts Janitor** is a man who cleans up after all the messes that Sora, Donald, Goofy and all the other Kingdom Hearts characters make.

## Personal Life

All these Kingdom Hearts characters leave such messes when they fight monsters. They leave money all over the street (which is nice because Kingdom Hearts Janitor doesn't get paid much per hour otherwise) but then he has to clean all the gelatinous goop that comes out of all the Heartless. They don't show the goop in the Kingdom Hearts games, but Sora is caked in it when he gets home. It gets everywhere! Plus, he leaves recipes and other random pieces of paper all over the ground. Why can't these heroes be cleaner, or at least pick up after themselves?
Medieval Winged Squidbob

**Medieval Winged Squidbob** is a knight with tentacle arms and wings at the end of them.

## Personal Life

Medieval Winged Squidbob has a cousin who makes sushi better than anybody, whose name he cannot reveal for legal purposes. He goes around town and tells everybody about how great his cousin's sushi is.

He's a medieval knight, and every day he has to get up in the morning, fluff his pillow and go back to sleep. He's a knight of pillow fluffing.
Level 5 H Jackson

**Level 5 H Jackson** is the letter H in the English language.

## Personal Life

Level 5 H Jackson is part of the English language and people use him all the time. You can use him to spell the word "Hoodie" or "Haberdasher." He doesn't know of any other words you can spell using the letter H.

Jackson has been created in a laboratory 5 times, though he has never gone into more detail than this about his origins. It is assumed this is where the moniker 'Level 5' comes from though.

## Dietary Habits

Every day Jackson eats carbon fiber, because he needs high levels of fiber in his diet.
Moogle

**Moogle** (also as Moogle Alexander Ephram) is a smooth talkin' daddy from the nineteen tw-thirties.

## Personal Life

Every fortnite, Moogle plays PLAYERUNKNOWN'S BATTLEGROUNDS. He lives in the 1930's, but has singlehandedly invented video games and is the only one who plays them.

When you least expect him, he'll be right there at the foot of your bed, probably murdering you.

Moogle likes to talk over 'the wireless'- a name he's given to his cell phone, which he got from the Unknown Time Traveler. He can only talk to one person, who just breathes heavily into the other end. They never talk at all, but Moogle tells them all his secrets, hopes and dreams.

## Dietary Habits

Moogle eats corn on the cob while wearing a 3 piece suit every single day and makes steaks under the stars.

## Appearances

* 10/05/18 [watch clip]
* 11/10/18 [watch clip]
* 01/09/19 [watch clip]
Permanent Marker Man

**Permanent Marker Man** is a man who always writes things in permanent marker.

## Personal Life

Permanent Marker Man's lifestyle is such that he'll never go back or be careful about nothin'. He makes a lot of spelling mistakes and a lot of drawing mistakes, but he'll only ever think about going forward and not backward. He thinks we could all learn something from that.
Mad Dog Martian Man

**Mad Dog Martian Man** is a man who eats Mad Magazines, rides on dogs, and comes from Mars.

## Personal Life

Don't tap Mad Dog Martian Man on the left shoulder. You'll be disintegrated by his Left Shoulder Disintegrator Ray™.

Mad Dog Martian Man also never makes lard. It's a crime in the Nation of Mars, where he comes from.
Space Whale Alex

**Space Whale Alex** is a giant orca who floats through space.

## Personal Life

When Space Whale Alex says he floats through "space," he means a neverending void of jelly. What? Have you ever been to space? Do you know that it ISN'T full of Jelly? Didn't think so.

In his free time, Space Whale Alex likes to do crossword puzzles that he intercepts from satellites of other planets. So far he's only seen crosswords coming from Earth, but he has a good feeling about the Andromeda Galaxy. He thinks he'll try there next.

## Dietary Habits

Space Whale Alex eats space jelly as he floats through it, so he never needs to purchase any food, and that's good because he can never find places to buy food in space.
Penton Palathon

**Penton Palathon** is a man who eats spaghetti through a straw.

## Personal Life

When Penton Palathon eats his spaghetti, he eats single noodles through a straw, which he finds to be a great delivery mechanism for spaghetti. Unless you get a second noodle stuck in there. Then there's nothing that he can do, and no one can save him. It'll literally kill him. Please don't put a second piece of spaghetti into his straw, unless you're an assassin, in which case that would probably be a good way to kill him. Penton Palathon keeps a conspiracy wall of all the different ways people might try to kill him.