Chapter 24: And We'd Be Gone Without A Trace

Image Description: A woman (presumably Carpenter) is submerged in a river. Only the top half of her face is visible, her eyes staring unhappily forwards. Beneath, her reflection has distorted into something strange and inhuman. A quote reads: "You're an organ in the working body of this world, Mallory Glass. So you will participate." - Nana Glass

## Credits

### Featured Voices

* Méabh de Brún as Carpenter
* Daphne Nitsuga as Eliza
* Caleb Del Rio as Brother Wharfing
* Sarah Golding as Acantha
* Liz Ryan as Nana Glass
* Carmella Brown as Helen Hayes
* B. Narr as Faulkner
* Harlan Guthrie as Reverend Toes

## Meta Data

### Content Warnings

This episode contains scenes of intense family trauma, sacrifice, body horror and bloody violence.

## Episode Guide

Carpenter returns home - and revisits the unhappiest night of her life.

## Description

### The Sorrow-And-Shame

A wooden cabin creaks around Carpenter, and the Homesick Corpse moans. It appears Carpenter is in Nana Glass’ old house. Carpenter returns to sleeping. Suddenly, we hear Eliza yelling and hear Carpenter getting to her feet. She walks through the house, and it creaks as she moves through it. We hear Brother Wharfing and Acantha, leading to Carpenter’s increased confusion. Finally, Nana Glass responds to Carpenter. She tells Carpenter to tell Em dinner’s almost done, and to take the boy in the cellar out before it gets dark. Carpenter muses on how this is impossible. The door creaks open and Carpenter enters and sees her Nana setting the table. Carpenter is unconvinced, reminding her Nana that she’s dead. This night has already happened. It is the worst night of Carpenter’s life. Nana Glass continues as though Carpenter hasn’t spoken. That night, Carpenter is told to do the work that Em usually carries out. To sacrifice the boy in the cellar to their god, the Trawler-man. Carpenter told her that she wouldn’t do it. Carpenter hated hearing the boy cry, she felt pity for him. Carpenter makes excuses. They don’t work. Nana Glass asks if Carpenter thinks she’s above this. Although Carpenter told her she didn’t think she was above it, in reality she did. Nana Glass lectures her, growing increasingly angry. Carpenter grew to hate her. She hated her, and was afraid of her, and loved her all at the same time. Four months after this night Nana Glass would be killed.

Carpenter reveals that she fell asleep under the stars, in the hills. It should be dawn. She cannot be back at this cabin. Carpenter knows it's a trick, she’s stumbled upon a stray god. She says that whatever it is has failed to fool her, and that she is leaving. She fumbles with the door and as she does so the night begins again. Carpenter is surprised, but searches for a logical escape. She’s angry at the god that is messing with her. Carpenter yells at it to speak to her. Nana Glass falls silent for a moment, and when she resumes speaking her voice is distorted. The Sorrow-And-Shame continues, she tells Carpenter that she can’t really be certain about what happened that night. Perhaps the most shameful night was the night after, when Em returned stoned or hungover. As he was punished, Carpenter boasted to him about what she’d done while he was away. The look that he gave her wasn’t pride, it was something different. The Sorrow-And-Shame asks her how many terrible nights there have been, that are shameful to remember. Carpenter asks if she’ll be let go if plays along, before agreeing to do so. The Sorrow-And-Shame narrates in Helen’s voice. She describes the cellar. The fishing nets, the copy of The Silt Verses, the candles, the three cages. It scared Carpenter as a child. The boy sits in the darkness, a sack-cloth tied over his head. Carpenter understood that the grace shown to her should be shown to this boy, too. She never saw his face while he was alive. His face in death haunts her. It’s not the only one to do so. The Sorrow-And-Shame speaks of a young couple Carpenter had led to their deaths. She’ll be haunted by Helen’s face, too. That last night, as she tried to sleep, Carpenter had wondered if Nana Glass’ face had looked the same as Helen’s did. The Sorrow-And-Shame continues recounting Carpenter’s actions. Carpenter asks if she’s talking to a god. She realises that it's not a god, that it’s something created. Carpenter asks if it was human once. The Sorrow-And-Shame returns her question. Carpenter passes the kitchen and she knows Nana Glass can hear her doing as she’d been told. She half-hoped that Nana Glass would put a stop to it. Her lies were having no effect on soothing the boy.

The boy fought her with every step, but was at every disadvantage. She tethered him, bound him in place. The Sorrow-And-Shame asks if she whispered one final apology to him, before saying that it wouldn’t have made a difference. As Carpenter is forced to watch the next part that she didn’t see, she pleads with the Sorrow-And-Shame saying that she has played her part and begging to be let go.

The night begins again. Carpenter asks for its name. It doesn’t respond to her this time. She recalls that Nana Glass died because she was too stubborn to change. That it led to the death of her brother, Em, as well. Carpenter asks if it’s the Cairn Maiden, apologising for yelling. Carpenter then begins to break the plates, furiously. The Sorrow-And-Shame tells her that this is how she’s always been. Her fury follows her shame, she tears apart everything she’s built to have a better chance to escape. She abandoned her god, her family, the young boy, Acantha, Eliza. The Sorrow-And-Shame tells her that Eliza is already dead, and Brother Wharfing and Acantha are dying. Carpenter attacks the Sorrow-And-Shame. The night begins again.

Carpenter is horrified and refuses to return. She hides under a boiler, sobbing. The Sorrow-And-Shame takes on Faulkner’s voice and continues its narration. It tells her that this was the first place she would leave people behind. Carpenter sobs at the sound of Faulkner’s voice. It tells her that she abandoned him, too. Faulkner returned for Carpenter in Bellwethers when it mattered, but Carpenter didn’t do the same for him. Carpenter tells it she would have if she knew where he was and how to find him. It tells her Faulkner is dead, drowned by the tide. Carpenter sounds broken as she apologises to him. Faulkner’s voice says the phrase that begins the night again.

Carpenter is exhausted, broken and anguished. She follows the role laid out to her. When asked if she’s alright, Carpenter responds that nothing’s alright. The Sorrow-And-Shame breaks character and sits down at the table. It asks Carpenter to tell it about what is bothering her. Carpenter sits and confesses. When she returned to the faith she decided to go by a different name. It was a controversial decision for someone with a powerful family member in the faith, but Mason pushed it through. She didn’t want to be Mallory Glass anymore. She believed that by becoming Carpenter she could remove what she’d done before from her. Now here she was, repeating the process again. It doesn’t help. She can’t move on from her past, no matter how hard she tries to. She wonders if she has lived too long. Fury drives her, shame halts her in her tracks. Once Carpenter has finished, she asks the Sorrow-And-Shame what it is. The Sorrow-And-Shame tells her about an old story about the Trawler-man and other ancient gods that claim to have been the very first. The beats of the story are the same: a hero desires or needs something, they are struck by a vision or hear a voice, they sacrifice someone, and they receive a reward or miracle and tell their people the good news. A few faiths claim that the hero sheds a tear in shame and regret in response to their action. This births a second god, which drags the hero and victim down together. It's why they must not flinch when giving offerings. An old traveller - both an executioner and priest - thought about this when he lay down in this place years ago. He felt shame and sorrow for what he had done. His tears turned him into a saint of tears and shame, to catch those who come to this place after him. Perhaps it's the truth, or it's her way of rationalising her own situation. She’s dying. She can’t leave, or escape. The Sorrow-And-Shame tells her to give in. Carpenter tells Nana Glass that she’s leaving and won’t return. She knows there’s nowhere to go. Carpenter invites them to come with her. She pushes open the door.

### Carpenter Buries The Travellers

Carpenter wakes up in the hills. She finds the prayer-marks left here. She’d missed them in the dark. Carpenter finds bodies of fellow travellers. She scratches the prayer-marks out, and begins to bury the bodies. She repeats the prayer to the Cairn Maiden, and keeps digging.

### Reverend Toes Finds Carpenter

Reverend Toes strikes Carpenter and she falls unconscious. He is confused as to how she managed to wake up, and brings her to the van. The episode ends.

## References

1. ↑ Episode Release Announcement on Tumblr
2. ↑ Official episode synopsis at https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/5fec690f8211cf453a1b89e2