No Tales

**No Tales** is the Simplicitrix/Stabilized Simplicitrix DNA Sample of a Charon from the planet Earth.

## Appearance

No Tales is an emaciated humanoid with a corpse-like appearance, featuring rotten dried purplish flesh, heavily yellowed and stained teeth covered in plaque, some having fallen out and some replaced with golden fillings, bloodshot eyes with glowing irises, and perpetually wet and filthy dark green clumped together into what are essentially tendrils. His bulky appearance derives from his heavy outfit, a dark brown jacket with tan lapels and meander lines across its bottom edge worn over a dark gray turtleneck patterned in red meander lines, golden buttons on his cuffs and below his lapels, and black and gold shoulder boards. He wears brown trousers, a tucked-in black belt, dark gray shoes, and a dark gray and red breton cap with meander lines patterned across its top and a red and black brim. Small portions of his body and clothes, including the left side of his abdomen, right forearm, right thigh, and most of his left hand are rotted to the point of exposd flesh, constantly shimmering with purple energy.

No Tales wears nine Simplicitrix symbols, one on his hat, one under his hat over a bald spot, one on each arm in the form of matching tattoos, one on his left buttock as another tattoo, one as a belt buckle, one inside his jacket, and two inside him, one on his heart and the other in his stomach.

## Personality

No Tales has a grim and irascible personality because of the role which he shares with the rest of his species, guiding the dead towards their eternal place of rest, although despite his irritable nature, he can be quite wise and understanding at times, although acts of kindness can only be bought out of him with enough payment. He speaks in heavy pirate speak with a thick Greek accent.

## Powers

* No Tales has absolute access and knowledge towards any and all afterlives, including their various laws and layouts, capable of taking and navigating the souls of the deceased towards wherever they are designated to end up in, as long as they pay him first, although should anyone try and cheat him one way or another, he can deny entry inside and leave them stuck in limbo. However, his innate comprehension of laws within realms normally unfamiliar to him, as well as his navigational instincts, also applies towards the land of the living.
* No Tales has instinctual knowledge towards any living organism that he meets, so long as they have their own soul, from anything him when they were first born, to how they had died and were buried, and virtually every experience and thought between.
	+ No Tales can sense any alive and unalive soul around him, and thus can detect ones on the verge of death and immediately teleport him towards them for the sake of guiding them towards their proper afterlife. Should they be unconscious or asleep, he can instead enter inside their dreams and lucidly communicate with them.
	+ No Tales can shapeshift and disguise himself as any living creature, typically for the sake of easing individiuals through appearing as loved ones or long-lost friends. Through assuming a spectral form capable of invisibility, intangibility, and smog transformation, he can escape any confrontation should the illusion be broken.
	+ No Tales can summon forms of transport in preparation to help souls pass on, whether something orthodox like a black taxi or a shallow rowboat, to even body modifications like skeletal wings.
* No Tales can exorcise ghosts, demons, and those capable of spiritual possession, forcefully removing them from any mortal bodies that do not belong to them, and thereby forcing them into returning to whatever kind of hellish realm or purgatory that they respectively originate from.
* No Tales can influence and attract any animals associated with death and decay towards him, usually that of crows, vultures, flies, rats, and undead creatures of lesser sapience.
* No Tales can manipulate dark elements to a limited extent, capable of generating hallucinogenic smoke, life-draining water, creeping permafrost, to even encroaching waves of darkness itself.
* No Tales is practically undying in nature, technically being undead himself.

## Weaknesses

* No Tales' offputting personality and appearance means he usually has a hard time getting reluctant souls to follow him towards their afterlife, having no influence over them outside exorcisms, and losing any knowledge over them once they are no longer in his presence, only retaining what he had experienced with them.
* No Tales' affinity for the afterlife can be overpowered and overruled through beings of greater power, usually those who themselves command any undead realm which he may enter, having no influence himself over immortal beings and not even being aware of their presence unless told.
	+ No Tales must absolutely obey the laws of whatever realm he is in, regardless whether he agrees or disagress with them, though this can be bypassed through interpretation, or if the soul he guides hasn't paid him enough.
	+ No Tales' navigational instincts are limited towards simply knowing the direction which he currently moves in, similar to the Earth's poles, and the movement of the sun and moon.
* No Tales cannot harm the living unless they either harm him first, or find their way into an afterlife while still retaining their mortal soul, something which he deems unjust as they do not belong there, nor can he kill someone either, unless it is their fate to die as such. Even then, his physical form is only about as strong as a peak human and lacks much offensive capabilities, although can quickly remanifest should it be destroyed or harmed enough.

## Etymology

* No Tales' name is a play on the phrase "dead men tell no tales," an idiom referring to how someone who has been killed cannot reveal secret information.

## Trivia

* No Tales was drawn by Shark, with his design being made using Ragnarok, which further ties into his inspiration of death and Norse mythology.
* No Tales' species name derives from the character Charon of Greco-Roman mythology, who ferries the deceased souls across the Rivers Styx and Acheron in exchange for the payment of the coin inserted into the mouth of the individual.
* No Tales' nine Simplicitrix symbols reference the nine circles of hell from Dante's Inferno.