Episode 081 - This Is Why You Have Rope

## Intro

**Episode Description:**
This episode is the very hottest of messes.

**Opening Quote:**
*"All sorts of freaky stuff!"* - Margane
*"And I get to watch!"* - Aramel
*"Ooh ..."* - D'Nias

**Player introduction:**
Sean, *"Hello and welcome to another adventure of The Tabletop Champions Podcast. I'm Sean your dungeon master and with me tonight we have, uhm, err, let's go with ... Scott, who plays Margane."*

Scott, *"The angels call me Estrafell."*

Sean, *"Matt, who plays Aramel ..."*

Matt, *"That's not a dagger in my pocket!"*

Sean, *"That was a lot less seductive."*

Kyle, *"Yeah. I mean, it depends on what'cha into."*

Sean, *"Ben, who plays Skrag. Ben? Ben who plays Skrag ..."*

Matt, *"Do what?"*

Sean, *"I'm just glossing over it."*

Matt, *"I was going with a lil' more push that time."*

Kyle, *"Just heard bush. I don't know what's happening."*

Sean, *"Yeah, me too. Ben, who plays Skrag."*

Ben, *"Everyone calls me Skrag."*

Sean, *"Stephanie, who plays D'nais."*

Stephanie, *"Ahoy-hoy!"*

Sean, *"And Kyle, who plays Eutax."*

Kyle, *" 'When things get bad, they'll do their worst.' "*

## Episode Summary

In episode 080, the group has made their way into **Hewold** and was briefed by **Arthur Dane** on the cities' three troubles: the tax collectors, the bandits, and the dragon. Now **Eutax** and **Margane** join the others at **The Mermaid** tavern, which doubles as an Order of the Raven safehouse.

Margane asks **Randall** the barkeep for his name and promptly renames him Banksy. After failing to obtain alcohol in a tavern, he instead steals a half empty drink that was left behind. He uses it to bribe **Aramel** into drawing him two maps which mark the locations outside the city where he buried two corpses080.

While this is happening, an impressive Tiefling woman with bright red hair named **Trissa Hewold** comes into the bar and joins the party at their table. Trissa reveals that she needs the group to sort out the troubles of the city so they are free to fight back the encroachments of the **King of Avisac**, who is also **D'Nias****'** father, so she presses the group to make a decision on how to help.

When D'Nias introduces herself, Trissa mentions that she knew **D'Nias mother**, also. She tells the bard that her mother was a kind, beautiful woman and a minor politician from down South in the realm. D'Nias family and Trissa's were also close friends. All of this came to an end, likely against the wishes of D'Nias' mother, after she met D'Nias' father. After they met, all contact was dropped for reasons unknown, and D'Nias was born. The bard then asks if Trissa knows where she can find her mother, to which Trissa admits that her mother has most likely passed.

The group can't seem to agree on which challenge to take on, and somehow impresses on Trissa that they want to go after the dragon who has been pressing tithings from the people of the region, which the Tiefling accepts. She intends to leave, but before she can, Margane offers her one of his maps as a treasure map, which she eventually buys for 150 gold pieces.

The group soon realizes that this spells havoc, as it does not only constitute fraud against an ally, but also makes Margane the prime suspect in the death of a person he did not kill. However, they are most likely missing, as they were murdered for not paying a waylayer's toll080. D'Nias then chases Trissa down in the streets, and tries implying that the map is a fake. Trissa then enigmatically explains that she paid the gold to hire the party to help.

Later that night, Margane has more maps drawn and hides them poorly and randomly around the tavern. Meanwhile, D'Nias tries hard to use the Oculous to gain insight about her parents, but to no avail.

### Chasing a dragon

The following morning, the party discovers their upgraded and outfitted carriage. A grand stallion has replaced **Egg the donkey**. Four Hewold guardspeople are also waiting, ordered to protect the party on their quest, but Aramel and Margane don't show them a lot of love. The group then leaves the city on their journey northward.

Traveling in peaceful farmland, the party comes across royal guardsmen from Avisac who are trying to collect coin from a merchant cart. They identify the party and attempt to alarm a larger contingent, leading to a wild cart chase. Margane brings it to an end with a well aimed fireball, leaving only one survivor, who gets knocked out by **Skrag** and taken prisoner. Aramel seizes all the documents and money he can find from the ruined cart.

The group wants to resume their journey, but when the prisoner wakes up, they decide to abandon him. He gets stripped naked, tied to a tree, and left with a note that insults the king of Avisac and blames Percy, the pirate king. In the next town they find, Skrag tells of the tied man, while Aramel denies having come across any tax money. The villagers want to set out to find it themselves, but flee in panic when Aramel claims to be the king of the pirates.

## Memorable Quotes

**Kyle**, *"Shitty, bad, dad jokes. That is what I'm on this podcast for."*

**Trissa**, *"My name is Trissa. Trissa Hewold."*
**Eutax**, *"Of the Hewold Hewolds?"*

**Margane**, *"Then, like I said, I don't understand why you crazy motherfuckers wanna fight a dragon."*

**Sean**, *"Are you guys trying to send a message, or are you just being dicks?"*