Total Fucking Dungeons & Total Fucking Dragons

> *"Hey, Wigs? When did you start writing cosmic horror?"*
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**Total Fucking Dungeons & Total Fucking Dragons,** more simply known as **TFD&TFD** or simpler still **TFD&D,** is The Server's first *Dungeons and Dragons* "campaign". Hosted by Dungeon Master Wiggly, the campaign follows a band of lost adventurers as they advance through a world of strife and nonsense. The game uses the *D&D 5e* system, and is heavily homebrewed. To date there have been ten proper sessions, not counting Seven Second Sessions or Session Zero, broken down into four Chapters.

## The Crew

The party consists of six members, from various walks of life across the known world. Two members are considered MIA.

**Scraps:** A straightforward gnome rogue, brought back from the dead as a skeleton. Prays to the goddess Leira, and seeks to discover why she resurrected him.

**Eira:** A quirky moon elf witch who is a known con artist. Specializes in ice magic, but has sought to diversify.

**Makilia ("Maki"):** A charming half-elf bard from a far-off land. Bold and fashionable, with an affinity for crossbows.

**Naomi:**A peppy catfolk bard once associated with a somewhat famous Eurobeat/Bananarama cover band, who was kicked out of the group following a spat.

**Ant:**An aloof dragonborn ranger who protects national parks alongside his trusty alpaca steed Mogli. Not particularly conversational.

**Ari:**A stalwart human druid and farmer from a grassland druidry circle. Tough and reliable, and scary with a mace.

**Missing in Action**

**Chibt:**An apathetic raccoon rogue awakened by unknown means. Kleptomanic and snarky.

**Bishop:**A reserved tiefling warlock who carries an old revolver as his arcane focus.

## Chapter Listing

**Chapter Zero** - A gang of misfits meets a literal minor celebrity.

* **Session Zero** - The Shadow of the Boss Baby

**Chapter One** - A gang of misfits stumbles about in the woods for two days.

* **Session One** - Awakening
* **Session Two** - Mourning Wood

**Chapter Two** - A gang of misfits becomes a gang of nomads.

* **Session Three** - Exodus
* **Session Four** - Unhappy Holidays
* **Session Five** - Flowers and Leaves

**Chapter Three** - A gang of nomads finds a big-ass city.

* **Session Six** - Loverosia

* **Session Seven** - Hellfire
* **Session Eight** - Trial by Fire
* **Session Nine** - Smoked Out

**Chapter Four** - A band of travelers heads to the beach.

* **SSS #1** - Gremlins!
* **SSS #2** - Astrology!
* **SSS #3** - Christianity!
* **SSS #4** - Footloose!
* **Session Ten** - The Phantom's Zone

## Seven Second Sessions

**Seven Second Sessions** are held whenever we wanna goof off, but don't wanna spend a few hours doing it. Throwing rules to the wind, we have a nonsense adventure for 30-60 minutes. Rolls are made based on the situation, stats are irrelevant, and you can add modifiers if you can remember you have them. In the future, you'll probably get bonuses for choosing to make rolls yourself and for rolls befitting your characters.

Seven Second Sessions are complete and utter nonsense, but are still mostly canon. Their events take place between the events of major sessions.

* **SSS 1 -** Ant fights a gremlin.
	+ **Result:** One dead gremlin.
	+ **Loot:** 1x broken Uzi, 10lbs. gremlin carrion
* **SSS 2 -** Ant and Maki fight the Sun.
	+ **Result:** The renegade Sun is destroyed, and replaced with a new Sun.
	+ **Loot:** 25gp, the favour of the god of crabkind and therefore all of crabkind
* **SSS 3 -** Maki, Eira, and Scraps fight The Chad Mary to save a very odd baby.
	+ **Result:** The Chad Mary is defeated and the baby is saved.
	+ **Loot:** One cool baby
* **SSS 4 -** Ant, Maki, and Eira, fight some big feetsies.
	+ **Result:** Maki is killed and resurrected, the foot hydra flees the scene.
	+ **Loot:** 3x hagfish slime vial, 1x giant toe, one book binding's worth of human skin