Real Rockers Wear G-Strings

**"Real Rockers Wear G-Strings"** is a single by Negative Øhio. It contains 4 versions of the track: the "Full Mix" which is the main version of the song, an instrumental version of it, the cleaner jazz-like "Bebop Mix" and the Techno-esque "Club Mix".

The track is an intense, horrifically noisy mix of distorted drums, digital saxophone improvisation and satirical spoken word vocals. It is labeled as genres such as Cybergrind, Free Jazz, Experimental and Industrial Metal.

It was released on November 20th, 2019 digitally. It was later also released on the album *Never Mind The Gap*.

The song is also the introduction of many characters in the band's lore, including Jazzhole, Bubba Billy-Bob, satans\_hestkuk69 and A tiny fox.

## Composition

### Full Mix - 4:20

The main version of the song, and what would have been the A-side on a physical release of the single.

The track is built around two entirely different drum tracks, one composed at 210BPM and the other 169BPM, with each panned hard to the left and the right. Each take is also duplicated, with one being clean and the other distorted into what sounds like a wall of noise. The middle channel has two different distorted kick drums, on top of everything else.

The lead instrument of the song is an electronic saxophone, improvised live on a keyboard in a chaotic, free-tempo flurry of notes. This track also has a distorted duplicate, which makes it sound like a guitar is playing along.

The lead vocals are performed by Gigakoops, and consists primarily of spoken word vocals. The lines in the song are told from the point of view of different characters, and as thus Gigakoops puts on several silly voices throughout. Nightmare Lyre also does background growling on the track, just repeating "this is satire" in different languages over and over again for the sake of texture and comedy.

### Instrumental - 4:20

Simply an instrumental version of the Full Mix, without either vocal track.

### Bebop Mix - 4:20

Another instrumental version of the song. It removes most of the distortion and special effects from the track, leaving it sounding more like a messed up Jazz track.

### Club Mix - 4:20

A different instrumental version of the song, where the entire drum track is replaced by a thumping Hardcore Techno beat.

## Lyrics & Themes

The song is a massive joke about music elitism, mocking the mindset of elitists and gatekeepers by saying things the band have actually heard expressed in silly voices. The lines by the tiny fox foregoes this somewhat by instead expressing extremely bizarre musical opinions that nobody in real life probably have, as to put a spotlight on the silliness of the elitist mindset.

For a more in-depth analysis of the lyrics, see the song's Genius page.

```
[Jazzhole]

```

```
No, no, no, you're doing it all wrong!

You're playing so fast and playing so many notes
It's about the notes you *don't* play, mmmmm!

```

```
[A tiny fox]

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```
Miles Davis is Nu-Metal!

```

```
[Jazzhole]

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```
I believe Buddy Rich would have been a better drummer if he played LESS notes, mmmmm!

The only *real* band in the world is Toto
Have you not heard 'Africa'?
It's the best song, because its literally the only song I know

Mmmmm, you have distortion on your guitar?
What are you, a neanderthal?
Mmmmm!

As a drum instructor, I mainly listen to the music for the vocals

I prefer Phil Collins solo, 'cause its the only thing that calms me down after I murder someone...

The Oscars failed us by not saving Jazz, mmmmm!

Ryan Gosling is my waifu ^^

```

```
[A tiny fox]

```

```
I just wanna bang on teh drums
All day and all night
Just like my hero, Willie Nelson
Who is Nu-Metal
Yes.

```

```
[Bubba Billy-Bob]

```

```
I preferred Johnny Cash when he was *true* Country
Not this God damn hippie, dippie, Rock 'n Roll bullshit!

```

```
[satans_hestkuk69]

```

```
Anything with a breakdown ain't *real* Metal, damn it!
Looking at you, Black Sabbath!

```

```
[Jazzhole, but wearing thick rimmed glasses and a fedora]

```

```
The lo-fi production really makes the song's message
Of "boy wants to fuck girl" sound so much more mature
So sophisticated

I feel Trap production reached its peak with Ariana Grande, mmmmm!

```

```
[Jazzhole vanilla]

```

```
Jazz Fusion? More like jazz losin', am I right?
(Disgustingly smug laughter)

Bebop is the actual bop, it slaps!

```

```
[A tiny fox]

```

```
(Scatting)
RAAAAWRG!
*Cough* excuse me...

```

```
[Jazzhole pretending to be older than actual age]

```

```
Chicago only gets better with age

The less notes you play, the better you are
Unless you're a *Rock* musician, yuck!

Millennials ruined *real* music
Like Starland Vocal Band

```

```
[Bubba Billy-Bob]

```

```
Lil' Nas X *ruined* Country!
We need to bring back *real* Country, like Georgia Florida Line!

```

```
[satans_hestkuk69]

```

```
Everything I don't like is Nu-Metal, therefor bad!

```

```
[A tiny fox]

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```
Everything I like is Nu-Metal, therefor good!

```

```
[Jazzhole]

```

```
Genres are so important, so I can avoid music like:
Scenecore, and
Posercore, and
Millennialcore

```

```
[satans_hestkuk69]

```

```
I used to listen to Mayhem
But then I saw they had a shirt at Hot Topic
Now I can't listen to them anymore...

```

```
[Jazzhole wearing a Morrissey shirt]

```

```
It's not that I'm racist!
It's that I prefer Blue-Eyed Soul over the *regular* Soul

```

```
[satans_hestkuk69 ironically also wearing a Morrissey shirt]

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It's not *real* Metal if *girls* and *gays* like it!

```

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[satans_hestkuk69's dad, Bubba Billy-Bob wearing a Ted Nugent shirt]

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A relatable macho image is more important than the music!

```

```
[A tiny concerned fox]

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```
'The fuck are you guys on about!?

```

## Trivia

* The songs length is 4:20, which is a joke on how a lot of Jazz hipsters are also stoners.
* The song's title is meant both as a tongue-in-cheek parody of the elitist mindset, and as a silly pun on guitar strings and naughty underwear.
* The album cover is a parody of the famous surrealist painting *La Trahison des images* byRené Magritte.

## References

1. ↑ https://negativeohio.bandcamp.com/album/real-rockers-wear-g-strings
2. ↑ https://genius.com/Negative-hio-real-rockers-wear-g-strings-lyrics