A Tale of Christmas 2012

**"A Tale of Christmas 2012"** is a poem by Matthew S. Breslau. It was first published on November 25th, 2018.

## Text

> Once upon an eve intrepid
>
>
>
> As I sat and festered, tepid,
>
> Longing for a way outside of
>
> Sadness that she gave,
>
> I thought it fit to see another
>
> And said to myself, “O Brother,
>
> Here is yet a second way that
>
> Life says ‘don’t behave.’”
>
> Under influence I caved.
>
>
>
> Christmas was no inhibition.
>
> She instead made it her mission
>
> To throw all my trust away
>
> And slay a tongue with hers–
>
> As the movement came and went
>
> The door swung back; in came a gent
>
> Who informed me of the romp
>
> He’d had with she who wore my spurs.
>
> Both of them I labeled curs.
>
>
>
> That night I yelled with sickened tones
>
> To mock her for the pleasured moans
>
> She likely had elicited from
>
> He who felt the guilt.
>
> She cried and said apologies
>
> But this did not deliver ease;
>
> Instead I pointed toward the door.
>
> She left with sorrowed tilt.
>
> Her voice, it wore a plaintive lilt.
>
>
>
> I suffered to enter my brain
>
> To try and make sense of the pain–
>
> I wanted so badly to leave
>
> And cause her solitude.
>
> But anxiety rose up
>
> And amid a hoarse hiccup
>
> I realized I was too scared
>
> To depart from her imbued
>
> With any sense of attitude.
>
>
>
> Despite my feelings to the contrary,
>
> I stayed put, though I was wary
>
> Of the possibility
>
> Of being spurned again.
>
> I took my troubles with me one day
>
> On a bright and wintry Sunday
>
> As I entered work and saw you
>
> As the clock struck ten.
>
> I filled the time sheet with your pen.
>
>
>
> You asked me how I’d been of late.
>
> My frown gave off the searing hate
>
> I felt for she who plunged her hand
>
> Inside my chest and clawed–
>
> You asked me if I’d like to chat
>
> And said it would be nice, at that,
>
> As long as we could do it in a place
>
> With no eyes awed
>
> After eavesdropping abroad.
>
>
>
> Satisfied with trust for me
>
> You made suggestions to dilly
>
> And dally to my place of living
>
> After work was through.
>
> I nodded in earnest and smiled
>
> Not simply for a chance to while
>
> Away the time discussing things,
>
> But also due to you–
>
> Your lovely self, on me it grew.
>
>
>
> That night you questioned all my thoughts
>
> And soon enough, it came–I wrought
>
> A description of the blackened gash
>
> She left inside my soul.
>
> You cursed her with me, placing hands
>
> Upon mine with a gentle scan
>
> Of both my eyes with yours
>
> In such a way that I felt whole.
>
> Then you told me of your goal.
>
>
>
> You said intently that you felt
>
> For me a feeling that you dealt
>
> To me with gracious purpose
>
> At a time I felt destroyed.
>
> This destruction so entangled
>
> In me, I felt truly mangled,
>
> But in hearing your words
>
> I fell joyous, now your toy.
>
> This too was felt by this dumb boy.
>
>
>
> As silence grew around us large
>
> A gentle urge, it tossed and barged
>
> Against our hearts–yours empathetic,
>
> Mine truly in lust.
>
> The world around my eyelids vanished.
>
> Light for four seconds was banished
>
> As my lips and yours engaged
>
> And intertwined with trust.
>
> Knowing this, I fell to dust.
>
>
>
> On that day, you saved my heart.
>
> I’ve always kept you as a part
>
> Of my life, but now I admit
>
> I need to make this clear:
>
> At every turn that I’ve been able,
>
> You have been happy and stable
>
> And I wished not to intrude on
>
> You, but now you’re here.
>
>
>
>
> I want you as mine, my dear.
>
>