Crusarion Jaabrayil

"Hark the Lash of Justice!" -Catchphrase of Chip Dallas

Fourth child of the Crusarion family, whom are vassals of the greater Mozenrech families and deal mostly in communications and its support infrastructure. There are various prominent family members scattered throughout the Department of the Judiciary. Jaabrayil was always an unconcerned promiseborn, so removed was he from any position of import. His parents doted on him as he flitted through one occupation or pursuit after another. During his latter schooling, he served as an alternate for both the amateur psiball and mag-skating teams at the planetary level. He passed his C.O.A.T. on his second attempt with ‘promising aptitude’ in many aspects of his exam, but did not excel in any single field.

After a dare, Crusarion Jaabrayil struck it big when drunkenly stumbling onto the set of a holonet-cast about asteroid traffic-officers and their supposedly rousing patrols. His family was mortified when he was arrested for civil indecency and trying to incite a riot; reportedly having shouted “Are you ready to rock?” repeatedly at an asteroid hauler’s inventory under hallucinated applause. ‘CJ’ was noted as having an *unfortunate common magnetism* with large swaths of younger promised-born and serfs alike. Much to the embarrassment of his family, Jaabrayil was from then-on known as what one might politely term a ‘gentleman of leisure’ or ‘reality holograph socialite’ instead of just an abject waste of outer space.

Jaabrayil would graduate from his frequent misadventures on reality holonet-casts to recurring guest rolls on various Ellis regional soap-ractives. At the height of his popularity, one publication ranked him number 43 on the sector’s most affable interactive-holo personalities for the 40-140 demographic. This popularity rating landed CJ an audition for one of the empire’s longest running and most beloved children’s television shows on non-standard holonet-casting: Imperiors! Sailor-Rangers Sentai SHINE. After the previous actor portraying Imperior Crux was killed in a hyperboat accident, the character was under an *invisibility curse* for about half a season. Lacking a better alternative for the part, Imperior Crux *rejuvenated* for the 7th time in the show’s extensive history, now wearing the face of Jaabrayil.

Occupying the role for about thirty years, Jaabrayil held the record for the shortest duration as a cast-member until the untimely retirement of Imperior Cygnus some two decades ago. The young Crusarion was dismissed after an unpleasant, inebriated incident involving a talking animated tengilin and a Fizzy Cheese advertising executive. This garnered Jaabrayil a reputation for a renegade disposition, which allowed CJ to basically fall into his next starring role: ‘Chip Dallas, Gravcycle Detective.’ A mix of surf-board-and-sorcery meets gritty mystery procedural, the show received uniformly poor reviews. Despite this, it was cheap enough to produce and maintained a consistent enough moderately-sized audience to stay on the holonet far longer than it rightly should have.

Following far too many seasons, Chip Dallas was cancelled. Jaabrayil, supposedly aging out of popular appeal despite repeated LET supplementation, did what any self-respecting washed-up Meistersinger would do: poorly thought-out comedy bits, off-topic personal audiocasts, and infrequent late-late-late night talk-show guest appearances. He would still be living off his syndication royalties from CD:GD if not for the War against the Artificials. CJ probably would even have been on some synthetic investigatory lists were he not so overtly incompetent a suspect. Instead he was drafted into the entertainment division of sector armed forces, reduced to gibing morale-boosting speeches and hosting banal quiz-panels for those on furlough. His appearances tended to air on the general-feeds of barracks and long-distance troop carriers too as filler. By this point CJ was considered so immemorably innocuous, he received a ceremonial promotion to Kriegsherr for being one of the most ‘tolerably neutral presenters’ during the war. Today, Jaabrayil mostly does stints for local South-Sector infomercials and what he calls *estranged media consultation* targeting other should-have-been-but-never-quite-was performers.