"A Few Suggestions"

Written by Slimebeast.

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**Suggestion:** Please move the hot dog cart away from the main water slide. Also please have water slide staff keep an eye out for children who just ate. When anyone gets sick in there, three or four people have to go through it before we know about it.

**Suggestion:** It would be nice if we had a way to give more detailed information anonymously. Maybe private meeting time with management?

**Suggestion:** Need more security at south gate.

**Suggestion:** Music in the reptile house keeps slowing down or reversing, it's VERY annoying.

**Suggestion:** Please tell the mascots not to try eating in their costumes. We keep getting one in with food all over its face and we think someone's trying to be funny. The mouth opening is mesh, so eating isn't even possible.

**Suggestion:** Please fix the music in the reptile house, it's still driving me up the wall.

**Suggestion:** Guests are complaining about the amount of towels in their rooms.

**Suggestion:** Need a better or newer coffee machine for the break room.

**Suggestion:** I wasn't going to say anything becuase I'm pretty tolerant, but please stop admitting children without faces. They won't stay in the guest areas.

**Suggestion:** The common area could use a bigger selection of DVDs and games. The collection is already getting stale.

**Suggestion:** Still need security at south gate. What's cheaper, having a staffer pass by once in a while, or painting over all the vandalism?

**Suggestion:** South gate needs more security.

**Suggestion:** What are we doing about the profanities at the employee exit? Send security there more times of the day, or whatever.

**Suggestion:** Don't feel safe leaving south gate at end of shift.

**Suggestion:** Frank is cheating at solitare when he thinks I'm not watching. Please do something about this immediately.

**Suggestion:** Tell the mascots to stay out of where they don't belong. One of them keeps turning off music in the reptile house. Can't tell who because of the suit. Have a meeting or something.

**Suggestion:** Please give the Mascots more break time or allow them to take short breathers during work hours. Sweat and body odor are one thing, but now we keep getting the same suit full of vomit.

**Suggestion:** Stop Frank, he's a menace. It has now spread to Sudoku. I am not making this up.

**Suggestion:** Sorry to write on a napkin, but we need more suggestion cards or else somebody is stealing them all.

**Suggestion:** Stop the fucking music.

**Suggestion:** I swear, all these blank kids are getting into everything. Every time I kill one of them the others just misbehave more. I keep finding them in piles at the bottom of stairways and they think its funny. It's not funny. I can't get through.

**Suggestion:** We need more suggestion cards.

**Suggestion:** We recieved a mascot suit with paint on its gloves. Someone took it to the south gate, and the color matches what the vandal is using. Might be worth looking into. Also, where are the cards?

**Suggestion:** costume sticking to the sores

**Suggestion:** It'

s tOo hard

to writ with

this gloves on

**Suggestion:** Thanks for the suggestion cards! Finally! What are we doing about staffing check-in at peak hours?

**Suggestion:** Once more, sorry for the napkin. We're out of cards again.

**Suggestion:** One of the mascots cornered me in the supply closet and grabbed my breasts. I've told Michael Sheehan about it but I don't think he's going to do anything because I don't know who was in the outfit. I'm going to file a lawsuit if management continues to avoid my calls. This is a final notice. Additionally, please restock the cards. I suspect they were removed so you could discourage my reports.

**Suggestion:** ha ha I'm a mouse

**Suggestion:** FUCK YOU.

**Suggestion:** Someone's taking out light bulbs. I mean, just everywhere. The guests are getting increasingly angry about flipping switches only to have nothing happen.

**Suggestion:** When are we getting some new DVDs in the common room? I'm not complaining because they're old movies, just that plenty are scratched and don't play all the way through.

**Suggestion:** What's the ETA on that coffee maker?

**Suggestion:** The vending machines on the third floor in the guest area are constantly unplugged and the money slots are often jammed with suggestion cards. I don't even know what these cards are talking about.

**Suggestion:** We need more cards again.

**Suggestion:** Try to find Frank.

**Suggestion:** I will give you clues about Frank, okay?

**Suggestion:** Clue #1, It's cold.

**Suggestion:** Clue #2, It's wet.

**Suggestion:** We need another coat of paint on the south gate. Are you doing anything about this clown?

**Suggestion:** Clue #3, Flush.

**Suggestion:** The hot dog cart is still next to the water slide and there have been two more incidents involving children getting sick halfway through the pipe. This is really reflecting poorly on the resort.

**Suggestion:** I don't think youre lookng for frank!!

**Suggestion:** Hey, I don't want to be dick, but seriously, where are the cards? This box is pointless.

**Suggestion:** I keep sinking into the floor or

**Suggestion:** maybe it's just that I feel like it.

**Suggestion:** I can't get any rest because there's too much to do. Every time I lie down guests keep asking if I'm okay.

**Suggestion:** i can't get my head off i can't get my head off i cant get my head off i cant get my hed off i can't get my head of

**Suggestion:** ignore last card it was my real head i forgot

**Suggestion:** the costume is sticking to my sores and there are more sores

**Suggestion:** all i am is sores

**Suggestion:** the costume is breathing and if i dont match its movements i can't get any air

**Suggestion:** F

**Suggestion:** UCK

**Suggestion:** i keep locking the gates but someone keeps opening them again please tell them to stop doing that because it lets everyone out again and i feel that's counter productive

**Suggestion:** they found frank and they're going to blame me please advise

**Suggestion:** HAHAHAHA franks face was like a bad looking plate of mashed potatoes when they pulled him out but when i laughed at it everyone looked at me even the people with faces which is odd

**Suggestion:** i have to think of what to do

**Suggestion:** oh

**Suggestion:** i know hang on

**Suggestion:** I'm not sure if the suggestion box is the right place for this, but security isn't doing much about my complaint. Over the last couple days I've been circling the resort and counting the number of staffers. As far as I can tell, there are more mascots on the grounds than we have on payroll. Security says it doesn't make sense, but I think we have one extra.

**Suggestion:** please help, costumes are heavy with people inside and there's no hook left for me

## Trivia

* A Few Suggestions was written as an exercise in creating a "prequel" that isn't stale and doesn't ruin following stories. The unique format and dark humor were used to prevent direct comparisons to the original story and offer a semi-disconnected experience.

## References

1. ↑ slimebeast.wikidot.com | *A Few Suggestions*