Food for Thought

“Hey, Eddie, dinner’s ready, mate”, a voice called out eagerly.

Edward snapped back into reality as a younger man stood before him placing meat and potatoes on his plate. “Oh, thank you, uhhh…”

“Nichtig, Lisander, Lisander Nichtig”

“I’m sorry… I just… uhh… it’s a unique name… uhh… and I’m sure I just had this… uhh… daydream?” Eddie apologized.

“That’s fine,” the man said as he set across from Eddie, “what was it about?”

“Oh, uhh, something about someone stabbing me with somethin’ and then dragging me somewhere… I was completely powerless… and it fucking sucked! Oh and, they took my snake. Did I mention I’ve got a snake?” Eddie recalled his daydream.

“Yes, yes you have, mate.” Nichtig cut off a piece of his steak and began eating it, Eddie followed suit and began eating his meal.

“So, why did Mr. Radu send you?” Eddie inquired.

“Well, that’s because your colleagues complained that you were overstepping your boundaries and being an overall tough fellow to work with,” Nichtig responded.

“Right… These idiots should learn how to do their job properly first, then, I won’t have to correct their mistakes.” Eddie remarked as he bit on a piece of a baked potato.

“Well, they are still employed so they’re doing something right, isn’t it so?” Nichtig asked.

“Uhh… That… Mmm… What’s his name? ugh Radu, aha… Yeah! That moron Radu keeps them around cause he’s a braindead waste of space too. He’s got the… uhh…” Eddie stumbled visibly on his words. Something was hindering his speech.

“Is everything alright, Eddie?” Nichtig remarked.

“I feel a little light-headed, man… but that meat’s great… also, my legs feel kinda weird - like they weight less, somehow, you know?” Eddie retorted.

“Didn’t you mention owning a pet snake?” Nichtig asked.

“Yep… I do. Wait, do I? Ugh… my head’s not feeling… so… good… uhhh…”

“Well, I can reassure you, your snake will be all right, mate, he’s got himself some nice, beefy shanks to feed on,” Nichtig exclaimed proudly.

“Oh! Good, Good…” Eddie rejoiced as he took a bit of his meat, “Mmm, that’s great stuff…”

“That is very good! Would you like some music, Eddie?”

“Depens wha-uht you goth…” Eddie slurred his words.

“Well, no jazz or anything of the sort.”

“Uhh, then nah. Don’t like that new age noise they call mus… uh… my head… why it feels so… wet… uhh…”

Eddie reached to the back of his head and touched it, feeling the liquid soaking his fingers as Nichtig stared at him with a wide smile creeping onto his face.

“Is this… Uhhh why is my head covered in red?” Eddie remarked in confusion, almost to himself as he stared at the red liquid on his fingers.

“I don’t know, Eddie.” Nichtig responded with a gleeful smile smeared on his face before taking another bite of his steak, “tell me about your customers, maybe they’re the source of your issues. Maybe we’re all missing something only you see…”

“Customers? What customers?” Eddie responded with a question of his own as he stuck his fork into another piece of what looked to him like liver.

“The ones you have to work with, Eddie”

“Ohhhhhh… yeah… uhh… I don’t know… I’m not working at the moment…” Eddie chuckled to himself.

“But when you are working, how do you feel about them?” Nichtig pressed on.

“I wanna say they’re idiots, complete idiots, but that would be rude… so I’m just gonna say I’m smarter than all of em’ hehe” Eddie proudly proclaimed as he nibbled on the meat at the edge of his fork.

“That’s alright, mate. That’s alright. So, you dislike them too… huh, quite the character you are, no wonder these people were willing to pay so much…” Nichtig remarked, holding back a small chuckle.

“Pay… uhh…” Eddie began speaking before he fell headfirst into his plate, the lightheadedness taking over his sense. “Mister… I-I-I don’t feel, ugh zo ghut…” he mumbled, with his face plunged deeply in his plate.

“Oh, that’s alright, Eddie, I was just about to finish this conversation by asking how does it feel to be eating your own brain?”