Air Tinkler

## Plot

Stevie thinks Lucas is ready for potty-training.

## Characters

* Stevie
* Lucas
* Julie
* Antonio
* Dylan
* Kayla
* Adonis
* Finn

## Script

INT. STEVIE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

[Julie is laying on the couch, humming while knitting something. Stevie soon comes into the room, almost out of breathe, holding Lucas. Julie looks a bit concerned.]

Stevie: "Julie, you will not believe what Lucas just said."

Julie: "What is it? What'd he say?"

Stevie: "Poo-poo."

Julie: [Deadpan.] "Thanks for sharing that with me, Stevie." [Goes back to knitting]

Stevie: "Julie, listen. This kid is not all talk." [Puts down Lucas] "First he said it, then he did it! I called Kenny, and he said it's sure a sign that Lucas is ready for potty training. High five, Lucas!"

Lucas: "Yeah!"

Julie: "Stevie, maybe it's too early. Are you sure he's just not speaking regular toddler?"

Stevie: "I know an upcoming potty trained kid when I see one, and he's right in front of me!" [Pauses; Looks at Julie, then at Lucas.] "Well, beside me."

Julie: "That's nice." [Puts knitting stuff down] "Well, I'm going shopping. Need anything?"

Stevie: "How about a special treat for my little genius here! Totally radical!"

Lucas: [Giggles; babbles] "Totally radical!"

Julie: [Sighs and rolls eyes] "Don't ever say that again." [Bumps into the front door] "Oof!"

INT. ANTONIO'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - DAY

Stevie: "I'm telling you, Tony. He said it first, and then he did it! Such a genius!"

Antonio: [Laughs] "Well, I must say, he does sound like a smart little guy."

Stevie: "Oh, he is. Say, anyways, i think we should go to the mountains one day."

Antonio: "That'd be a great idea."

[Stevie and Antonio keep talking as Lucas is playing with a building block, as Dylan crawls up to him, as they switch to baby dialogue.]

Dylan: "Don't get too excited."

Lucas: "Huh?"

Dylan: "Just because you're learning the ways of the loo, doesn't mean you're smart."

Lucas: "Uh? Yes it does! Stevie says I'm a genius!"

Dylan: "Oh, pssh. He's just saying that to humble you."

Lucas: "I don't see YOU trying to learn the ways of the loo!"

Dylan: "Oh, trust me. He *tried* to teach me. And that was the last time. See, when you learn to use the toilet, all of your free-time goes away, and you don't get as much attention as you want. Learned it from Danny. He remembers everything. And let's not forget about the toilet monster."

Lucas: ".. What??"

Dylan: [Puts pacifier in mouth and crawls away] "Your choice, kid. I say try to find your way out of it before it's too late."

[Lucas' eye twitches and she sucks on his thumb out of pure anxiety.]

INT. STEVIE'S HOUSE - ADONIS' ROOM

[Finn and Kayla are playing pretend at Adonis' desk.]

Kayla: "Master of the universe, your tea is ready!"

Finn: "I'm not master of the universe anymore! I'm G.I JOE, and G.I Joe doesn't drink tea!"

Kayla: [Angrily] "When he plays house with me he does."

Finn: ".. Got it, chief."

Kayla: [Smiles] "Sweet low, Joe!"

[They both drink the imaginary tea, as Finn stops.]

Finn: "Wait, this tea is poisoned!"

Kayla: "Oh no!"

[They both start fake choking, as Adonis comes in.]

Adonis: "Freeze, nerd bombers! OFF, OFF, OFF, OFF!" [He shoos them away from his desk.] "Better stop touching my stuff! I just got back from football and I'm feeling pumped!"

Kayla: "You're just jealous 'cause I have a boyfriend, and you don't even have a girlfriend!"

Adonis: ".. You're dreaming. You don't have a boyfriend, you're too young."

Kayla: "Oh, it so happens that I do!"

Adonis: "Who?"

Kayla: [Points at Finn] "Him."

Finn: "Me??"

Kayla: "Your a boy and my friend. That makes you my boyfriend."

Finn: "Got it, chief."

[They both go back to Adonis' desk.]

Kayla: "More tea soldier??"

[They both drink the imaginary tea, and then start fake choking.]

Adonis: "I'm never having kids."

INT. STEVIE'S HOUSE - THE LIVING ROOM

Stevie: "Julie, Julie!"

Julie: "Yes, what is it, Stevie??"

Stevie: "Where's Lucas?? Where's my little genius??"

Julie: "Last time I saw him he was licking squash off his highchair. He's napping."

Stevie: "Look at this invention Kenny made! The high tech potty! It sings, and it cheers! It's totally radical!"

Julie: "Stop saying that!"

Stevie: [Laughs] "I'm gonna try and encourage Lucas now!"

[Stevie leaves and Julie rolls her eyes.]

Julie: "He has issues." [Sees a spider] "AAAHH SPIDER!!"