Shmorby and the Beast

## Summary

The crew returns to a hostile planet, hoping for a warmer welcome. C-53 and Dar dig into some YA. Pleck finds a dance partner. Nermut takes a personal day.

## Plot

C-53 and Dar talk about how much they enjoyed the YA novel 'It's the Stars Fault', which they have read for their onboard book club, or BC. Pleck hasn't found time to read it yet. Bargie is listening to the audiobook version which she narrated. Pleck has been meditating on his place in The Space. C-53 pokes him in the eye to prove that the meditation is doing nothing. They push him to finish reading the book and he promises to do so on the way to their next mission. They receive a call from Nermut. Pleck asks him if he's read the book yet. The others become uncomfortable and inform him that the bookclub is only for people on Bargie. Nermut is disappointed he won't be able to join the Bargarean Jade Book Club, which he calls the BJBC. Their mission is to go to Flurp, a planet they have previously visited while working for the Federated Alliance. They are to establish relations between the planet and the Rebellion. The crew are nervous that they will remember that they killed the leaders daughter. Pleck is confident that the Space will protect them. Beano has Pleck's wood saber and doesn't want to give it back.

They are greeted by the Grand Kula and are seized by his guards. He is going to feed them all to a beast, The Zellnaaz. They are thrown to the beast. They are met by the Zellnaaz keeper, he has a degree in Zellnaaz keeping. C-53 asks if they can just leave peacefully, the Zellnaaz keeper doubts it. He sings to the beast to soothe it, he gives an example it causes Dar to fall asleep. No one has ever asked for his name before, its Shmorby. Pleck asks if the Zellnaaz is his friend or his pet. Shmorby thinks they're nice and feels awkward about them dying. Shmorby feels insecure about his big feet. C-53 ask about who normally gets sent to the pit. Its mainly criminals. The Zellnaaz eats things with its anus and excretes out its mouth. Shmorby's job is mainly cleaning. A Tiny Criminal is then thrown in with them, Dar finds them adorable as they stab Dar with their tiny knife. The criminal wants to fight the Zellnaaz, the Zellnaaz eats them. Pleck thanks Shmorby for doing his jobs. On the weekends he does a lot of reading. They ask if he's read 'It's the stars fault.' He has. Pleck tries to convince Shmorby to become a rebel emissary. He doesn't want to leave because he is convinced that he smells and would die if he saw the sun. He took his jacket off a dead man, he had to sew the pants into it to make it fit. The Zellnaaz then does the dance of acceptance, Shmorby hasn't seen him do it with anyone else before having only seen it a handful of times himself. Pleck tries talking to the Zellnaaz while Shmorby warns him not to. Pleck waves his woodsaber at the Zellnaaz and it dies. They think that he killed it before the criminal it just ate emerges from the Zellnaaz's corpse. Shmorby is distraught. He tells them that they aren't allowed to call him Shmorby anymore. They feel guilty. Pleck tries to relate to Shmorby but fails to come up with a story in time. Dar saves it by relating the experience to 'It's the Stars Fault'. Shmorby agrees to come with them but he needs to take the dead body of the Zellnaaz with him. The crew are reluctant to help him carry it. Dar asks Shmorby what he really wants to do. He wants to be a shoes model. They encourage him to head to the nearest shoe store and start modelling shoes. Another criminal is thrown down into the pit. Shmorby models shoes for the new criminal and changes their opinion on crime.

The Grand Kula is impressed with Pleck, they have never seen someone defeat the Zellnaaz before. They bow to him in respect. The Grand Kula reveals that the Zellnaaz is allergic to wood. The Flurp swear their alliance to the Rebellion and gift the Federated Alliance koozie back to the crew. The Grand Kula tells them that he has been depressed since his daughter disappeared but joining the Rebellion gives him hope of finding his daughter. Bargie lands and tells them she feels guilty, the crew try to tell her that they don't know but she keeps talking. The Grand Kula realises what happened and commands his people to open fire.

Lieutenant Bordoff reads sponsor copy for SquareSpace and TheRebellion.space.

Pleck is almost finished reading 'It's the Star's Fault'. C-53 calls Nermut to let him know how the mission went. Rolphus Tiddle answers much to their confusion. Nermut is on person leave and has set up his calls to forward to Rolphus. They let him know that the mission was a success until the last minute, he isn't surprised. Pleck asks if he is ok and if he wants to join the BJBC. Rolphus hangs up. While the crew are wondering where Nermut is Bargie announces that he's here. A Ty Priter just landed with a package and Bargie can sense that Nermut is in it. He listened to the Bargie narrated audiobook version of the book on his way there. He shipped himself there so he could join bookclub. He's almost done with the book. Beano has read the book and, despite being warned not to, he spoils the ending for Pleck and Nermut.

## Quotes

"Beano love elegance. Beano love luxury." - Beano

## Trivia

* It takes 15 years and 450,000 kroon to become a Zellnaaz keeper.
* The main characters in 'It's the Stars Fault" are Hansel and Gretel. (Beano's spoiler: They both die at the end.)
* Shmorby built the cave around the Zellnaaz.
* Drink mentioned: Fluccarian Brandy

## Credits

### **Voice actors**

C-53 - Jeremy Bent

Pleck Decksetter - Alden Ford

Dar - Allie Kokesh

Nermut Bundaloy - Seth Lind

Bargarean Jade and the Criminals - Moujan Zolfaghari

Beano, The Grand Kula, The Zellnaaz, and Rolphus Tiddle - Winston Noel

Shmorby - Bobby Moynihan

### **Production**

Edited - Seth Lind

Recorded - Shane O'Connell

Sound Design and Mix - Shane O'Connell

Additional Recording - Forever Dog by Brett Boham

Music - Brendan Ryan

Opening Crawl Narration - Jeremy Crutchley

Ship Design - Eric Geusz