Nikki McAdams

* Currently (33)
* Rubatosis (19)
* Orenda (21)

34 (As of currently)

Noah McAdams - Son

Unborn Baby

Benjamin McAdams - Husband

Jessica Hausman - Sister

Jennifer Renée - Sister

Ellie Renée - Mother

Frank Renée - Father

Gregory Fallon - Former boyfriend

Bonnie Fallon (Past-fling)

"I might feel deeply but I also love deeply. I feel a strong sense of despair yet I also feel intense happiness. It's the price I pay but it's not a curse, It's a blessing "- Nikki

**Nicole Aki McAdams,** née **Renée** (Born March 7th, 1989) is one of the three central protagonists. She is a woman characterized by her self deprecation, either in humor or life. She is a devoted wife, and a mother to three children, whom she loves dearly.

## Early Life

Nikki was born on March 6th, 1989 at 2:09 am in Chang Gung Memorial Hospital, in Taiwan. She was born to Ella and Frankie Renee. Two years after Nikki was born, Ella became pregnant again with Nikki's little sister Jessica, and the family chose to move to the outskirts of Las Vegas.

Nikki had a difficult time adjusting to being around so many unfamiliar people. Because of this, she refused to speak till the age of four, even though she could. Her parents sent her to speech therapy and went to many specialists but to no avail, as they could barely speak any English and Nikki still refused to talk.

Until one day, Nikki walked up to Ella and simply said, "May I have a banana?" Ella hooped and celebrated, swinging her child in the air and kissed on her cheeks. They had had a break through.

When Nikki started public school, she had a difficult time making friends. Many children did not want her around and even made fun of her because she was different. So, most days she sat alone at lunch or stayed back in the classroom to read.

As the middle school era begun, Nikki began being bullied by the children in the higher grades. They said she was a nerd and made many racist comments. But she stuck to her books and push through...that is until....high school.

Upon entering high school, Nikki was excited. She was ready to ace every class. Until, the pressure from her parents to do good became too much. In an act of rebellion, Nikki threw all of her textbooks and notebooks into a fire pit and set them ablaze. Next, she started sneaking out of the house to go smoke weed with friends. It was all downhill from there. Her parents would yell at her about her grades but Nikki would just put her headphones on and ignore them. She spent hours away from home and often ditched school.

## Personality

Despite being a party animal as a teen, Nikki's become laid back and reserved. Although she is quiet, she doesn't enjoy being alone much. She is loving of all animals and is passionate about nearly everything she does. Nikki is a perfectionist and becomes hard on herself if something doesn't go as planned.

The only time that Nikki becomes outgoing is when she's drunk.

## Appearance

Nikki is a small statured, petite woman, standing at five feet, four inches and weighing around 135. Nikki currently has her natural dark hair with bangs that hang in her face. She typically wears it up in a bun or a ponytail with the bangs pinned back because she hates them being in her face. Nikki wears buddy holly like glasses and can usually be seen in a open flannel shirt and jeans or some type of band t-shirt and black leggings.

## Personal Life

Nikki works as a nurse practitioner at Family Doctors of Green Valley. She's worked this job for 4 years, for thirty dollars an hour. Her co-workers describe her as incredibly hardworking but generous and kind. She's often sad when a co-worker leaves for a new job and throws them a going away party. Nikki is still very much in contact with her best friends and sees them almost every weekend. She still gets sad often but tries not to show it because she's taken on a strong outlook.

### Motherhood

Nikki is absolutely devoted to her children. She always states that no one comes before them and whoever gets in the way of her and her kids are gonna lose. She's fiercely protective of them.

Nikki takes care of her children even if she's throwing up with a fever. She doesn't want anyone else to take care of them and gets extremely angry when her sisters try to tell her how to parent.

Nikki is extremely patient with her children and refuses to spank them because she thinks that words are just as good as physical discipline. She gets extremely discouraged when she has a parenting fail but she doesn't let them see that. Nikki doesn't force her to children to be the greatest but tells them that if they are trying their best, that's what matters. She promised herself she'd always do that because her parents were the opposite.

Nikki tries her hardest to not let them see her struggle but it can't be avoided all the time. Ben tells her that it'll make them aware and sympathetic to other people's emotions but she doesn't want them to worry about her and just focus on being kids.

## Struggle with Mental health

Ever since nearly dying at the hands of Gregory, Nikki has struggled immensely with major depression, anxiety and PTSD. She has an extremely hard time trusting people still after ten years and doesn't let many people in. She also can't drive past certain places without having terrible flashbacks and she still has nightmares often, which leave her shaken up and crying. She is very skiddish and scares easily, even if someone is just coming up behind her.

Nikki is often on edge, which is something she's actively working on as much as she can. She goes to therapy every two weeks even now and is on two different medicines; Lunesta (sleeping pills), Prozac (mood stablizers).

When she's at her worst, she ices people out, and isolates. She becomes distant and unreachable until the episode is over. It can make it very hard for her family and friends to help her.

## Creation

Nikki started as a character named Angel with no discernible resemblance to current day. She was a Caucasian woman with hair dyed into streaks. Angel later turned into Nikki and her backstory was developed.

## Stories

### Rubatosis

"Rubatosis": The unsettling awareness of one's own heartbeat

When Nikki meets Gregory, everything seems to be going perfectly. Their new found friendship involves incredible chemistry and trust. Until they start to fall for each other. Greg becomes controlling and possessive, but Nikki chooses to ignore it. Her heart tells her to stay, blinding her with love. This is the worst decision she could've ever made.

### Orenda

"Orenda": An internal summoning of personal strength to change fate; The courage to love someone against the obstacles life has set before you.

Following the previous story, Nikki struggles to cope with her past and trust people again. Until a man comes along who changes everything for the better. Someone better than she could've ever imagined and hoped for.

## Relationships

### Samantha Scott

"Stop Samantha! Im gonna pee!!"- Nikki in the middle of Walmart after Sam pretended to stab someone with a lawn chair behind their back.

Nikki and Sam go way back to the seventh grade. They met through their mutual friend Amy, and became closer when they were all put in the AP classes together for being extremely intelligent. Through the years, they became like sisters, always relying on each other for emotional support or just a good laugh. They've spent many nights, either comforting each other or laughing till they pee. They are as close as they can be and have many coffee dates and nights full of wine.

### Amy Mason

"Are you even listening to me??" -Nikki to Amy on multiple occasions

Nikki met Amy in the seventh grade in the international students club. They instantly clicked and begun their long lasting friendship. Amy's house quickly became Nikki's home away from home. They played outside together till dark and it was time for Nikki to go back home. Almost every weekend, the three girls were together playing wrestle mania xix on the Game Cube till 3 in the morning. They grew up and continued to goof off with each other every time they saw each other. They were absolutely inseparable. The three were sisters.

Due to Nikki having a considerable care and pressure from her parents to do good in school, she became part of a group of friends who focused mainly on keeping their grades up. Amy was part of this class, as was Sam, and Sam introduced Nikki to Amy. They mainly bonded by talking about their mutual interests, but Nikki never wanted to let her know what was really happening as she was actually failing the class. After finding out, Amy became deeper friends with her as she felt for the struggling girl. This continued even further as Nikki fell deeper into disconnecting from her parents and school and started to rebel. Despite her trying to push everyone away, Amy kept pushing to still be friends with Nikki as she never wanted to give up on a close friend. Nikki then reached a boiling point and pretty much fell apart in front of Amy while expressing regret for all her rampant behavior. Amy reassured that Nikki did try to push her away but that friends don't give up. The two continued on from there.

When showing Gregory's abuse to her friends years later, Nikki expected them to be mad at her for keeping it a secret. Like before, however, Amy was reassuring rather than angry, but felt the effects of it deeper than before as it hearkened back to their school days.

### Benjamin McAdams

"You're my home, my heart and everything i've ever wanted. With this ring, i promise to protect you, and love you indefinitely. No matter what."- Ben to Nikki in his vows.

Nikki met Benjamin when she was working in a bar called, "Elixir." He came in quite frequently with a couple of friends and she served them drinks. He always seemed to be the respectful one out of his group, never flirting or hitting on Nikki. One night while working, she was closing up and he came in by himself. The two struck up a conversation and found they had a few things in common. Ben began to come in more often by himself after that and they'd talk until it was time for the bar to close. But he was still respectful and just an overall friendly guy, reserved but friendly. After nearly a year of spending many nights talking to each other and hanging out a couple of times outside of work, Ben finally asked her out on a date. At first, she was hesitant and turned him down, because of her previous abuse. But texted him later that night and agreed. They went out on their first date to a restaurant called, "Hugo's cellar." They laughed and had a couple of drinks, and enjoyed each other's company. After that, Nikki realized she couldn't stop thinking about him and couldn't stay away from him, so they went on multiple other dates before making it official a month later on March 25th, 2011. Nikki and Zach moved in with him three months later. Ben soon learned about her past and what had happened to her the previous year. He was nothing short of sympathetic and caring to her feelings. He encouraged her to feel what she needed to feel and do what made her happy, while also taking her time to heal.

Ben proposed to Nikki exactly a year later at that exact spot and she didn't hesitate to say yes. She was truly and madly in love with him, to the deepest depths of her heart. Shortly after that, she went back to college for her nursing degree with his encouragement and support. The two married on March 25th, 2013 at the Bliss Wedding Chapel in Henderson, Nevada in front of all of their family and friends. Nikki became pregnant with their daughter Peyton a month later and they welcomed their baby girl on January 6th, 2014.

Ben and Nikki have an extremely special kind of love that not many people find. They are always together and always super loving towards each other, even in public. Ben loves Nikki for who she truly is and only wants her to be happy. He's the only one who knows how to handle her bad days with love and patience. He gives her space when she needs it and is always the first to apologize when they argue. It breaks his heart when she's not doing well and he always tries his best to help her, just with encouragement and love. The two of them bond over parenting and rarely argue.

They welcomed their third child (second biological) on March 2nd, 2021 and have been married for eight years now. They're now expecting another baby, unbeknownst to them.

* Their song to each other is these memories by hollow coves.

### Zachary McAdams

"Twelve years ago, at merely four pounds, six ounces, it was you that saved my life. You've been my savior, the greatest tester of my patience, and a reminder of my own strength as a person and as a mother. You came into my life, with the worst possible timing and you changed my life for the better. You were my reason to keep going; my tiny little hero. It's been such a pleasure watching you flourish into the man you're becoming and I couldn't be prouder of you. Keep your fiery attitude and always continue to be true to who you are. I love you a bazillion Zachary Michael, Happy birthday sweet, sweet boy." - Nikki in a post to Zach for his birthday.

Zach is Nikki's first born and because of this, they share something different. Zach, although unknowingly, helped Nikki through the hardest time of her life. He was the toothless smile at the end of the day that made all the hurt go away. Nikki gets emotional every year on his birthday and has to pinch herself, to keep from crying. Zach likes to act like he doesn't need his mother but any time he's scared (rarely) or just wants a hug, she's the first one he goes to. Even though he's eleven years old, he still occasionally likes to snuggle up to her at night and fall asleep. Sometimes, Nikki still carries him to bed.

But, lately, the two of them have had issues because of Zach's attitude. He acts like he doesn't need her when he actually does and he rejects any authority from her. They argue nearly every day because he pushes her to her limits somehow. But nonetheless, deep down the two of them adore each other and Zach hopes to be like her someday.

### Peyton McAdams

"Pey...Just pick one dress. The blue or the yellow?"- Nikki to Peyton

Peyton is the second born child of Nikki and her mirror image. Nikki sometimes still has to rock Peyton to sleep because if she doesn't, her daughter will end up in the bed with her at some point during the night. Nikki has a different bond with Peyton than the boys, simply because she's the only girl. She's like her mini best friend and Peyton goes with her everywhere. They're never apart for too long because both of them don't like it. Peyton is very clingy but Nikki doesn't mind it. But, even at only seven, she tends to worry about her more. Peyton gets her emotional side from Nikki and she loves that, but it also concerns her.

### Noah McAdams

"Hey pumpkin butt/squishy/baby boy!" Nikki to Noah every time she sees him.

Noah is very special to Nikki, since he's her last child. She loves all her children equally but she gets more emotional when it comes to Noah's growth. She is especially protective of him, since he's the smallest of the bunch. Nikki calls him her hip baby because she's always holding him and he's always attached to her. She still rocks/nurses him to sleep and picks him up every time he cries. She believes he's getting too big too fast and it makes her teary eyed.

## Trivia/Facts

* Nikki has to be on Prozac after an attempt at her life back in late 2017.
* She now has full custody of Zachary after Gregory was thrown in jail for assault.
* Nikki absolutely hates cheese, ketchup and many other things. Shes pretty picky.
* Nikki is a giant fan of all things Disney.
* The McAdams recently moved out of their old home, to which they had been in for six years.
* She makes a lot of self-deprecating jokes based on her previous suicide attempt (often concerning family and friends)
* Nikki would rather not have a label on her sexuality.
* As a child, Nikki was often bullied for being underweight. She reached normal weight in highschool but it took a slight toll on her mental health.
* She delivered Zach via c-section and Peyton naturally, which isn't typically recommended.
* Nikki has nightmares frequently which normally results in a panic attack and sobbing until Ben calms her down.
* Her parents fully paid for her ride to the College of Southern Nevada.
* Nikki can still speak fluent Mandarin from when she was a child, even though she doesn't have an accent anymore.
* Everyone says she has soft hands
* Nikki's favorite band is Halestorm.
* Nikki recently lost a ton of weight (in an unhealthy way) and she's extremely small now.
* Her favorite quote is by Rupi Kaur and it reads, "The World gives you so much pain and here you are making gold out of it." <3