William van Stalph (character)

## **William van Stalph III.**

**William van Stalph** is the main character played by Ludwig Lust in Defender's D&D sessions. He was originally son of a empirical noble family, but after his father was murdered in his sleep he fell into poverty and alcoholism. He is currently a member of [i dont think you have a group name] and is working on overthrowing the empire via creating a monopoly on soap.

## William van Stalph

### Aliases

Wilhelm von Stock;William Valentinez Accerole Akai-kuso-eigo Pierre Ivancovich Deutzel van Stalph;Jugemu Jugemu Go-Kō-no-Surikire Kaijari-suigyo no Suigyō-matsu Unrai-matsu Fūrai-matsu Kū-Neru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro Yaburakōji no Burakōji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shūringan Shūringan no Gūrindai Gūrindai no Ponpokopii no Ponpokonaa no Chōkyūmei no Chōsuke

### Affiliation

i dont think you have a group name;force grey;brotherhood of soap

### Occupation

adventurer; soap-entrepreneur; inventor; part-time-asshole

## Appearance

**William van Stalph** is introduced as a 42 year old (very young and handsome looking) half-elf sporting blond hair with elegant features. He is seen wearing a fancy black and gold suit-thing and pants with a chef hat on hishead, a chain of meat balls around his neck and a bottle of alcohol in his hand. Stalph has also been spottet waering a bathrobe or his iconic binocle.

## Personality

William van Stalph is an alcoholic asshole with weird complexes for soap, shiny foreheads and more, making him one of the most normal party-embers of i dont think you have a group name.

He also seems to have somewhat of a questionable moral code as he has been seen mourning over the death of an orc he just met, while celebrating the death of his racist party member. He has been seen showing immense care for the rare people, that he showed interest in, as well as some care for some of his party-members.

He is commonly seen lying about himself or his backstory

## Abilities / Powers / Equipment

### spells

Various types of cool magic stuff. Very impressive.

### weapons

* a rapier called "フタスレーア" (futasureea)
* a northern pike
* 2 daggers
* a hammer
* a shortsword
* a shovel
* a joke-crossbow with a "Bang"-flag
* "Wand of Pointing" (30cm stick)
* sword of answering

### other "powers"

* the ability to touch peoples bald heads without seeming weird

## Relationships

#### Soap

Due to the soap he was given as an orphan William van Stalph shows his fascination with and sentimental attachement to soap on a daily basis. He has shown interest in creating a monopoly on soap. The succes of this dream is highly questionable.

#### Harry the Ogre

The most care Stalph has shown towards any character so far was towards an ogre he just met as an enemy in a sewer and was forced to shoot because of Crowler. This may be seen as slightly weird.

#### Party-members

##### Tuber Pseudoexcavatum

The two of them appear to be in a friendly relationship. They have bonded over bath-scenes before. Both of them have touched peoples bald heads in the past, althou Tuber did not seem to enjoy the situation as his actions have creeped out touched bald people. Later Tuber also nearly killed Stalph. The exact nature of their complex relationship is unknown

#### Former Party-members

##### Crowler

Due to Crowlers actions towards Harry the ogre and Williams relation with him, William had a dislike towards Crowler. Crowlers racism and otherwise immoral actions and ideologies that could be described as "pure evil" might have contributed to this.

#### Family

It is assumed he somewhat cared about his dead father, althou little is known about their relationship.

#### Guard 4

Aside from Harry, Guard 4 is the character Stalph has shown the most effection towards. Without any good reason Stalph has shown great recognition for guard 4, believing in his abilities during a battle against a dragon. After Guard 4 got a power up the two characters bonded over the battle. It is to assume that they are still in good terms.

#### Bar-Ghost

On their first meeting Stalph and the Bar-Ghost appear to get along well. Due to lack of recent documented conversations between them it is unclear how close their relationship is. It could be assumed thst Stalph has possibly forgotten that he exists.

## Fanservice

WIlliam was featured in ore that one fanservice scene in a bathroom featuring Tuber Pseudoexcavatum in a non-sexual way. This is to be seen as completely normal and not weird or strange in any way whatsoever.

## hobbies

* alcoholism
* various activities involving soap
* expiriencing slight existential dread
* inventing creatively useless items
* not contributing to the story
* bathing with male party-members
* watching grass grow
* losing in games
* stroking beards of other people (not recent)
* stroking bald heads of other people (not recent)

## History

> Did you ever hear the tragedy of William van Stalph The Second? I thought not. It’s not a story the Lords Alliance would tell you. It’s a emperial legend. William van Stalph was a Lord of the Lords Alliance, so powerful and so wise he could use his money to influence the markets to create more money… He had such a knowledge of business and persuasion that he could even keep his entire land from running out of resources. Money is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he got all his money from the empire, then the empire killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save everyone from poverty, but he brought war on his lands. From a young age I grew up in poverty, after the royal families not agreeing with the emperor were killed. Only safed by the soap I was given. The only luxurary I was given. Then I discovered alcohol, which propably wasnt the best thing that ever happened to me, but oh well
>
>

quote: William van Stalph

## Trivia

* he is a member of force grey
* he is a member of the \*brotherhood of soap\*
* his rapier is called "フタスレーア" (futasureea)
* hes tends to use soap to express monetary value
* he has played chess against himself on one occation and lost
* he owns a demonbible of "RAKEFAF"
* he owns a bodypillow of himself

## Quotes

* "My name is William van Stalph. I'm 42 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Waterdeep, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an member some stupid adventurer group of idiots and assholes. I don't smoke, but I do drink a lot.I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of Jack Daniels before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Unlike a baby, I wake up with a hangover in the morning. I was told there were a lot of issues issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who does not wish to live a very quiet life. I take care to trouble myself with any enemies whenever I feel like it.That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I would propably lose."
* "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you I have graduated the top of FORCE GREY, and I've been involved in numerous wars, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in magical warfare and I'm the top mage in the entirety of the Lords Alliance. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me face to face? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting mytalking weapon friend and your home is being located right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal magical spells and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo."