Six Feet Under Par: A Chip Driver Mystery

❝ *It's half spy novel, half murder mystery. It's also half submarine adventure, half erotic memoir, and half political thriller. It's also half golf tutorial, and half commentary on society.* ❞
—Brent to Chidi and Simone
***Six Feet Under Par: A Chip Driver Mystery*** is a fiction book posthumously written by Brent Norwalk, circa. 2019. It encompasses several subgenres of fiction, including spy novel, murder mystery, and political thriller. Its characters are loosely based on the residents of the Good Place in Season 4.

The novel and its author received heavy criticism for its recurring discriminatory themes against minority groups.

At the time of its writing, its only known content was that which was discussed by the characters; however, NBC media releases for World Book Day provide new insight into Norwalk's racist masterpiece.

## Etymology

The name's title is a blend of the phrases "six feet under" and "under par." "Six feet under" refers to a grave, and is often used as a synonym for 'dead' or 'deceased.' On the other hand, par is a golf term, referring to a predetermined number of strokes (varying per hole) which players usually try to stay at or under. Scores are denoted as the difference from par, such as "two under par." The two phrases reflect on the murder of Scarlett Pakistan and Chip's passion for golf.

## Plot

### Pages 1-10

Detective Chip Driver falls in love with the beautiful Scarlett Pakistan; however, she is promptly murdered by Luis, Chip's valet driver, despite his innate admiration for Chip. Chip manages to uncover the murderer's identity by page 10.

## Chapters

* "Depth Charged and Loaded"
* "Pants-Tent in the Past Tense"

## Characters

* **Chip Driver:** the protagonist, loosely based on Brent. A detective, golf player, quarterback for the Chicago Bears, and the "world's strongest president." Romantically interested in Scarlett. Drives a 1968 Cadillac.
* **Scarlett Pakistan:** Chip's love interest, based on Tahani. The "type of girl you couldn't take in all at once or you'd die. You had to take her in bit by bit, like a great work of art, like the Louvre. Her brown eyes were as brown as the brownest crayon. She had legs like Jessica Rabbit from that movie. Her long, flowing locks smelled like the moon at twilight on a par four." She is also said to have "huge ones" and an accent like the Queen of England's. Presumably murdered by Luis.
* "**Four-Eyed" Igby:** a cowardly character based on Chidi; "a woman about [Chip's] age... with dark hair, glasses, and a sweater vest." Four-Eyed Igby "never does anything spontaneous or cool." Norwalk describes him as muscular but slender, and of a standard height. Also "probably dry-humps books."
* **Luis:** the valet and Scarlett's murderer. Admires Chip more than his own father. His reasoning for murdering Scarlett is unclear.
* **The surgeon-general:** a minor character, noted for using the term "pants-tent."

## Publication and release

A book signing was organized by the author, with Simone Garnett and Tahani Al-Jamil scheduled to compliment the book onstage. However, the event was canceled last-minute due to negative feedback to the novel and an outbreak of violence between Norwalk and his ethics professor, Chidi Anagonye.

With the planned book signing, the novel also became available for purchase in the Good Place at US$65.00 / CA$87. However, the lack of both positive reviews and currency in the Afterlife implies that Eleanor and Michael terminated sales of the novel.

## Response

While the book's cover states that it "would've been a #1 *New York Times* bestseller," it received very negative feedback in the Good Place community for its inherent racism, sexism, misogyny, and offensive portrayals of neighborhood residents. Simone Garnett described the character descriptions as "not exactly flattering," among other things.

### Critical acclaim

* "I didn't think it was possible to write a book as awful as [this]... I literally didn't think humans were capable of such racist, sexist poppycock." -Tahani Al-Jamil, bestselling author of *Get Out of the Spotlight*

## Quotes

* "Chip gazed at the sexy outline of the murder victim on the floor. 'What a waste of curves,' he growled. 'She's sitting on the lap of angels now.' He checked his Rolex watch, which was real. It was almost golf o'clock, so the case would have to wait. Good thing he'd already solved it." (page 10)
* "[Four-Eyed] Igby came out on the broad stone top step and looked down at me with good-humored curiosity. He was a woman of about my age, thirty, with dark hair, glasses, and a sweater vest. He had on a lavender-flowered white hat."

## Trivia

* Norwalk is dressed like a pilot in his author photo because he likes *Top Gun*.
* This is the fourth fictional book written by a character in the series (the first three being Janet's manual, Tahani's published diary, and *Get Out of the Spotlight*).

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 https://twitter.com/nbcthegoodplace
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 https://www.instagram.com/p/B\_VUQ-Anjm1/?utm\_source=ig\_web\_copy\_link