Delirious Movie Quotes

* **Operator** - "Are you still holding?"
**Jack Gable** - "I've got somethin' for you to hold, lady..."
**Operator** - "Sir, if this is an obscene phone call, we have ways of tracing it."
**Jack Gable** - "I want you to trace it. I demand that you trace it! My address is…" (*Cut off - Screaming*)

* **Cable Man** - "Geez, what a body!"
**Jack Gable** - "Laura is more than a body."
**Cable Man** - "Laura?"
**Jack Gable** - "Laura Claybourne, she plays Rachel."
**Cable Man** - "Sorry, you must really follow this shit."
**Jack Gable** - "No, I write this shit."

* **Louise Fletcher** - "Yes, mom I got the brownies... And the mace... Mom, will you please stop worrying? Everyone gets mugged here at least once a week."

* **Mickey Schwartz** - "Jack, when are you gonna stop kidding yourself?"
**Jack Gable** - "What are you talkin' about? There's nothin' goin' on between me and Laura."
**Mickey Schwartz** - "I know that. But do you?

* **Narrator** - "Billionaire patriarch, Carter Hedison, having recently recovered from a brain tumor, battles death once again as his ambitious daughter Rachel plots her next move."

* **Jack Gable** - "Jesus! When did we build this? We're gonna go way over budget!"
**Helen Caldwell** - "I don't understand. His tests were normal."

* **Jack Gable** - "I am dead! I'm in Hell! And my punishment... is to spend eternity on my own show!"

* **Jack Gable** - "He's operating on people? He's an actor! He's not even a good one!"

* **Dr. Paul Kirkwood** - "I'm sorry, Helen. I've got to see Carter Hedison."
**Helen Caldwell** - "Carter? Or Rachel Hedison?

* **Ty Hedison** - "Daddy! I found out who Janet Dubois is selling her father's formula to! It's Jack Gates!"
**Carter Hedison** - "The Wolf of Wall Street?

* **Ty Hedison** - "I suppose that's why she committed suicide... If it was suicide."
**Carter Hedison** - "For the very last time... I did not hire Dash Andrews to kill your mother."
**Ty Hedison** - "If she was my mother!

* **Jack Gable** - "I'm a writer! Do you hear me? All I wanna do is get outta this stinkin' little town!"
**Janet DuBois** - "Well, then, do it! I mean, you say you're a writer then... write your way out!"

* **Jack Gable** - "Ohh! Why didn't I write myself back to the stable?!"

* **Blake Hedison** - "When are you going to stop this madness with Rachel?"
**Ty Hedison** - "Nothing happened at the Mardi Gras."
**Blake Hedison** - "She's your sister!"

* **Ty Hedison** - "Watch it, Blake, or I'll give you a headache you won't forget."
**Carter Hedison** - "You lay one finger on him, Ty..."
**Ty Hedison** - "Always protecting Blake, Daddy! Sometimes I wish I wasn't your son." (*pausing*) "If I am your son."

* **Jack Gable** - "Of course. It's Fetterman again!"

* **Lou Riley** - "When did you start carrying a knife?"

* **Carter Hedison** - "Rachel, I'm not buying any more of this crap."

* **Rachel Hedison** - "So, the mysterious stranger rides to the rescue again."
**Jack Gable** - "Madam, this stranger knows no danger. I am much stranger than you think."

* **Rachel Hedison** - "What is it, Daddy? Is something wrong?"
**Carter Hedison** - "The cable TV man is coming."
**Blake Hedison** - "But don't you have to go the stockholders' meeting."
**Carter Hedison** - "You know how hard it is getting those guys to come out. I've got black bars on two and seven."

* **Ty Hedison** - "I've got terrible news."
**Carter Hedison** - "The cable man's not coming, is he?"

* **Ty Hedison** - "No, there's more. Gates has all these crazy notes. He knows everything about us. He knows about our phony drug tests, your brain tumour, and even my... my..."
**Dr. Paul Kirkwood** - "Amnesia!"

* **Carter Hedison** - "What does that man want? Is he out to break us or to see us in jail?"
**Dr. Paul Kirkwood** - "If I can't have Rachel, I don't care about jail! And I hope your cable man never shows up!"

* **Carter Hedison** - "You can't even do that right, can you, son?"

* **Jack Gates** - "This nebbish has been masquerading as me, and you believed him?"

* **Jack Gates** - "I have to go to... Cleveland? Jesus, I hate Cleveland."

* **Deborah Nordoff** - "Almost killed with the engaging thoracic surgeon was his philanthropist socialite fiance, Rachel Hedison, daughter of industrialist and well-known socialist... socialite, Carter Hedison. From Ashford Falls Falls, this is your Ashford Falls reporter, Debbie Nordoff."

* **Rachel Hedison** - "When I'm with him, it's as if... I don't have a mind of my own. He has this... strange power over me."
**Blake Hedison** - "Maybe he's a Scientologist?"

* **Ty Hedison** - "Golly, I've missed you. Remember the time I was gonna ask you to the prom?"
**Janet DuBois** - "And your father wouldn't let you."
**Ty Hedison** - "Uh, no. No, th-that's not true. That was the time that I got... I got, um..."
**Edward Ashworth** - "Amnesia, sir."
**Ty Hedison** - "Remember?"

* **Dr. Paul Kirkwood** - "I thought you were announcing our engagement. Why did you ask him to play the piano?"
**Carter Hedison** - "I didn't. I also didn't ask him to sing "Send In The Clowns" either."

* **Ty Hedison** - "So, Janet, while you're here, maybe we could go horseback riding."
**Janet DuBois** - "I don't think so."

* **Ty Hedison** - "You can have my room, Janet."
**Janet DuBois** - "You're not gonna be in it, are you?"

* **Dr. Albert Waverly** - "I just want you to know how much I enjoyed your playing."
**Jack Gable** - "Oh, thank you."
**Dr. Albert Waverly** - (*confused*) "The elderly man exits."
**Jack Gable** - "Great! Now I got 'em talking stage directions!"

* **Rachel Hedison** - "What is going on around here?"
**Wendell Vaughn** - "The bartender needs more cold deer."
**Jack Gable** - "Not deer! Beer! It's a typo! Use your head, for Christ's sake!"

* **Voice** - "Paul doesn't know the Heimlich?!"
**Dr. Paul Kirkwood** - "Well, of course I know the Heimlich. I know the Heimlich. I know the Heimlich! Jim, you know I know the Heimlich. Look, I love the Heimlich! I'm always doing the Heimlich. It's one of my favourite maneuvers! I'm a medical doctor!"

* **Helen Caldwell** - "Mr. Hedison... Blake... I see you're still under Dr Kirkwood's care."

* **Rachel Hedison** - "Janet! How are your cockroaches?"
**Jack Gable** - "Ants! It's ants!"

* **Ty Hedison** - "Dad, you're not gonna stop me this time. I realized tonight that I'm still in love with Janet, and that I always will be!"
**Carter Hedison** - "Of course you're in love with her! She's your sister!"

* **Dr. Paul Kirkwood** - "It was Rachel! Rachel made me do it!"
**Blake Hedison** - "Rachel... That slut did this?"

* **Rachel Hedison** - "Oh, no!"
**Jack Gable** - "What is it now?"
**Rachel Hedison** - "I forgot my shoulder pads."
**Jack Gable** - "Who gives a shit?!"

* **Jack Gable** - "Janet, what are they doing to you?"
**Janet DuBois** - "By the way, our deal's off, Gates. The formula stays in the family and I get... fifty percent."
**Carter Hedison** - "She's a Hedison all right!"

* **Jack Gable** - "Can you stop the bleeding?"
**Rachel Hedison** - "Yes, Paul, stop the bleeding. She's ruining the parquet floor!"

* **Ty Hedison** - "But don't you see? If Janet is my sister then I still have a chance with Rachel!"
**Orderly** - "I'll make sure he's well taken care of!"
**Carter Hedison** - "Don't bother."

* **Carter Hedison** - "Where the hell have you been?"
**Ashford Falls Cable Guy** - "How ya doin'?!"
**Carter Hedison** - "I'll tell you how I'm doing. I've got a black bar on two and seven. It's in the study."

* **Maury Gifford** - "This is delicate work, you moron!"
**Jack Gable** - "Stop yellin'! You're makin' me nervous!"

* **Jack Gable** - "What are you doing here? I sent you to Cleveland."
**Jack Gates** - "I should kill you for that alone. I want that formula."
**Jack Gable** - "Oh... go do a mini-series or something!"

* **Jack Gates** - "Nobody... crosses Jack Gates."
**Jack Gable** - "Fine! "Nobody crosses Jack Gates." Great line."

* **Mickey Schwartz** - "Jack? You okay? Somebody said you got hit by a truck."
**Dennis Graham** - "Trunk!"
**Mickey Schwartz** - "He got hit by luggage?"

* **Lou Sherwood** - "All right, I agree. You wanna die on a sandwich you shouldn't even be eating?"

* **Jack Gable** - "Look, the part of the lesbian maid is taken, but I'm gonna get you Janet."