Glad to Be Back?

**"Wow, spending so much time in this void has actually made me finish!" - Pen**
This story has officially been over. Go check out this episode's info page for information about music, characters, trivia and more! Also, please know that after **24 hours** of this on an episode page, you must only edit it if the placement of words has the same amount of letters in it.

**"Wot'n ale's fozz'r'ye doin'?" - Pencil**
This page contains profanity, like the sentence above. I have created two ways to censor those words, but I've also discovered that on mobile view, they lie uncensored. So please, show some cognoscience about what you may see.

If you *do* have a problem with profanity, please refer to this page § 3.

"**Glad to Be Back?**" is the 33rd episode of *Pencil 2.O*, having aired on 31 December 2006 in the second season. In this episode, Pencil readjusts to going back to school after a lengthy absence, which includes talking to her newly-sustained crush Pen.

## Sunday, December 31, 2006

### **Pencil's house**

**Scene**Morning. By now Pencil will have been out of school for three months and spent Halloween and Christmas without her friends for the first time. Now she is eating soup.
* **P****e****nci****l**: This soup is the best!

[*Enter* **Needle**, *hurriedly.*]

* **Need****le**: Pencil, come see this! [*she shows her phone*]
* **P****e****nci****l**: Y'want soup?
* **Need****le**: Look! It's from Ruby!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Omg, le' me read'e! [*reading*] "Needy…" [*slaps*] "If your sister is not dead, please ask her mother to let her come to the girls' New Year's Eve Lock-in tonight. She hasn't been answering our calls, questions or demands so if she doesn't come we will just assume she has died x"
* **Need****le**: See that? Your friends miss you!
* **P****e****nci****l**: I ain' goin'. Wait, maybe I should go. If'e be h'a girls'-only event, I can finally be with me girl-sisters an' I can enjoy tonight without … *him*. By the way, take me soup.
* **Need****le**: I'm only 13, but I know you're going to make a *big* mistake if you don't go.
* **P****e****nci****l**: O' wot? 'Umiliate meself in front of everyone?
* **Need****le**: It wasn't that bad … I heard you left a trail of graphite to our house.
* **P****e****nci****l**: 'O told?
* **Need****le**: Match. She's been having private text chats with her new bestie.
* **P****e****nci****l**: I bet she's 'atin'e. An' I've already asked'ee three times, d'ye want some soup? An aye er no'd be appropriate.
* **Need****le**: Well, if you keep ditching school—
* **P****e****nci****l**: A lock-in ain' a school day. It's extracurricular, so h'if I go they'll think I'm a-visitin' from 'omeschool er somethin'.
* **Need****le**: Penc, you've missed every party since October. With your missing doing, you'll surely be off the official popularity chart.
* **P****e****nci****l**: [*throws the soup out the window*] ***WOT?*** I'm goin' to school!
* **Need****le**: Oh, and by the way—
* **P****e****nci****l**: Aye?
* **Need****le**: Can I have your soup?

### **Match's house**

**Scene**Match and the rest of the alliance (Bubble and Ruby) talk about their plans for the night.
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Oh my bubble blower, Oi'm so happy for tonoight's lock-in!
* **R****u****b****y**: School on a Sunday *and* during break?
* **Ma****tch**: I'm just there to see all the cute guys there are … well it's, like, a sports exhibition so be prepared.
* **P****en**: [*overhearing*] Yeah, to see me on display at the track/field and baseball exhibits.
* **Ma****tch**: We're not actually going to *look* at the other sports. We're going to stand over the "cheerleading" sign, look pretty and scream every few minutes.
* **R****u****b****y**: Why?
* **Ma****tch**: To attract, like, attention! And besides, the only person who would support looking at other sports without fawning over their masculine beauty isn't here right now.
* **P****en**: And who are you referring to?
* **Ma****tch**: Pencil, you dumb-o!
* **P****en**: I knew, just wanted to trick her. Oh my gosh, I need to run to the washroom…

[*The rest of the girls look at him in silence.*]

* **R****u****b****y**: [*sigh*] I wish I did a sport! Bubble and you're doing cheerleading, and Vo-Mitzvah's a triple threat! Baseball, track and field!
* **Ma****tch**: Ruby, track and field are— Never mind.
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Don't worry, Ruby! When the ex-cheer captain, Twilghilda, got deported, troyouts ceased and now you're an officially unofficial member of the CIDCFIS Choier Team!
* **R****u****b****y**: Yay!

[*Match gets a text message. She reads it*]

* **Ma****tch**: Omg…
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: What is it?
* **Ma****tch**: I can't believe it, Pencil actually, like, texted me!

[*Pen sprints to Match.*]

* **P****en**: What did she text?
* **R****u****b****y**: Easy, McSparkerton!
* **Ma****tch**: She was, like, "Im going".
* **P****en**: [*raising his hands*] ***YES!*** My charms are working! [*silence*] I mean, my arms are working— I haven't made that Y position, bless my sweet genes.
* **Ma****tch**: So Pencil's going to be there?
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Oiesome!
* **Ma****tch**: [*texting*] "OMG PENC UR NOT DEAD MEAT .. ME ON THE BLEACHERS 6⃣🕡Pm FOR TH SPORTS XHIBITION WITH THE GIRLS LOL HAHAHA 💩"

[*They go to the door.*]

* **K****a****t****arzyna**: [*offscreen*] Where are you girls going?
* **Ma****tch**: Shopping!
* **K****a****t****arzyna**: Bring me food—
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Bye!

[*Exeunt* **Match**, **Bubble** *and* **Ruby**. *Enter* **Aristotelis** *from his room, calculating.*]

* **A****r****i****s****tote****l****i****s**: So if there is a 20,000 KSh refund from the dues I was supposed to send over as … oh, hey Pen, why are you sad?
* **P****en**: Can I talk to you about something?
* **A****r****i****s****tote****l****i****s**: Oh G-d, this is probably a conversation about the leaves and the fires. Sure!
* **P****en**: This girl, named … Felicia has been sick from school for three months.
* **A****r****i****s****tote****l****i****s**: Just give her money!
* **P****en**: But the thing is that I have a massive crush on her and she's going to be at school today.
* **A****r****i****s****tote****l****i****s**: Impress her. Just don't be a phony shpitz. Be an honest shpitz, do what comes naturally to you, and if that fails, knowing that it probably will not because you have the entire armada of shpitzity and naturalness that you did *not* get from your father. Why, I remember going on a date with Katarzyna and we were—
* **P****en**: *Dad…*
* **A****r****i****s****tote****l****i****s**: As I was saying, if all else fails … um … er … get her into a room, tell her how much you love her, share a passionate kiss and then say "Bye, Felicia!" as she imagines you as a cowboy riding his horse into the sunset, the cowboy surely being a metaphor for you and the sunset being a metaphor for that other girl you like, let's see, Pencil, because I know you don't like Felicia.
* **P****en**: Got it. [*leaving*] Bye, Felicia!
* **A****r****i****s****tote****l****i****s**: Pen, come back! While leaving I think you took the chutzpah instead of the common sense!

### **Pencil's house, 5:59 PM**

**Scene**Pencil stands by the door. Needle, Nelson and Estigua watch her take her first step.
* **Estigua**: *Sò?*
* **Nelson**: There's a world outside waiting for you!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Then tell'e to be patient acos I h'ain't goin' outside.
* **Estigua**: Por favor, vá lá fora! Estou cansado de comprar mantimentos para você!
* **Need****le**: And remember the *chart*—
* **P****e****nci****l**: Means I can't go outside with all you people lookin' a' me!
* **Nelson**: Fine, we'll turn around.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Thank'ee. [*she steps onto the pavement. It exaggeratedly makes a loud thump sound. Nelson, Needle and Estigua cheer*]
* **Need****le**: Yay!
* **Nelson**: No more antiprivacy!

### **Various places**

**Scene**

**Medley of songs to the melodies of "Three little maids from school" and "The sun whose rays are all ablaze" from *The Mikado***

**Vocalist(s)**: Pencil and the cheerleaders

**R****u****b****y**: [*setting up the cheer exhibition near the bleachers with Bubble and Match*] ♫ Cheerleading is a choice for me!

**Ma****tch**: More like it's ob-li-ga-to-*ry* …

**B****u****b****b****l****e**: This is a hard job—

**The Three**: Can't you see-*ee*, cheer is some serious sh—

[*Cut to a slow orchestral track.*]

**P****e****nci****l**: It's really I seein' the sky,

When's'e filled with such blueness,

To Bubble catch, an' Ruby'n Match

Make invalid sans trueness.

But if me You-know-'o shall tru-

-ly let me heart go burnin'.

Should I be glad, should I be sad,

Fer'e is wot I'm yearning!

O, h'if there'll be one sex

There'll be no ends,

An' wot if 'e rejects,

Will we be friends?

O, h'if there'll be one sex there'll be no ends,

An' wot if 'e rejects, we'll still be friends.

**The Three**: [*still placing things on the stand*] So throw these ornaments over here!

And bring honour to our cheer!

We're not that smart— like, what's an ear?

And this is how we scream! ♫

HASHTAGHASHTAGHASHTAGHASHTAG

[*The strange attention-grabbing scream goes on for the remainder of the song.*]

### **Track and Field Exhibit**

**Scene**Pen with the boys from the Gang of 8 set up shop, though with less diligence than the cheer girls
* **P****en**: Wow, the girls are really taking advantage of their stand, eh?
* **Blocky**: I don't care.
* **P****en**: Blocky? What the hockey sticks are you doing here; you're not in running.
* **Eraser**: Actually, I'm granting him sanc-tu-a-ry. I'm pretty sure in some language that means 420.
* **Blocky**: Besides, I am in running … from the police.
* **P****en**: What did you do this time?
* **Blocky**: Well, Flower—
* **P****en**: Never mind, I don't want to hear where this ends up. Anyways, you're all excited, eh?
* **Snowball**: Yea, I am!
* **Eraser**: Snowball, why are you here? I thought you weren't allowed within, like, 420 metres from a school!
* **Snowball**: Sost now thou seest wherefore that I am excited. Sost a-running from the police.
* **P****en**: Don't remind me—But Pencil's coming back to school today! [*everyone looks at him as they did in the first episode*]
* **Eraser**: Bro, bruh, bruh. Nobody cares about that hoע.
* **P****en**: Well *I* do, and frankly if you listened to me you would understand why, why the pearl of my sea must be for me.
* **Eraser**: *And frank*ly? What kind of Evraios are you?

[*Light orchestral music starts playing.*]

* **Blocky**: Don't start singing that type of music, Schreiber, that's totally bender.
* **P****en**: Y'know if you're going to say something completely non sequitur and homophobic, then make a football team.

**Medley of songs to the tune of "Would you know the kind of maid" from *Princess Ida* and "After sailing to this island" from *The Gondoliers***

**Vocalist(s)**: Pen

♫ Had you known my time of wait

F'r my potential love-a:

Three months and a look to fate,

Through she's not above-a

When she left good friends were we,

I the athlete, cheer did she.

But when "I love you" I said

She fled the scene, she fled the scene

So here's what she'll have said …

[*Segue into next song. Inset half between Pencil and Pen in different locations.*]

**P****e****nci****l**: "Oi, m8, three months 'ence I left'ee!"

**P****en**: "Those months each were so horrific."

**P****e****nci****l**: "Would I care to sit more clos'r t'ee?"

**P****en**: "Oh, you, that would be terrific."

**P****e****nci****l**: "So, I've got to tell'ee somethin'."

**P****en**: "Tell it to the big ‘D’, baby."

**P****e****nci****l**: "Is it possible fer a thing—"

**P****en**: "Y'know, can you sit closer maybe?"

**P****e****nci****l**: "Oi how strangely are we h'actin',"

**P****en**: "But it's worth it, t'ye 'tain't given,"

**P****e****nci****l**: "I quite like 'ow you're reactin'."

**P****en**: "I'm a force that must be driven."

**P****e****nci****l**: "I think thet may be the task, yea…"

**P****en**: "Something something in Segovia."

**P****e****nci****l**: "Wot in ale means thet I ask'ee?"

**P****en**: "Will you love me as I love ya?"

**P****en** **&** **P****e****nci****l**: That it's known we love each other,

Shan't we tell others about it,

I/You will be much a bad brother

And you'll/I'll lose my friends, no doubt it.

**Chorus**: That it's known they love each other,

They won't tell us all about it,

For he'll be much a bad brother

And she'll lose her friends, no doubt it.

And she'll lose them, ne~~~~~~ver doubt it! ♫

### **School**

**Scene**Fade out of scene. Pencil walks up to the school nervous. She sits on the benches by the exterior, texting Match.
* **P****e****nci****l**: [*texting*] "Match, where r u?"
* **Ma****tch**: "Omg! You're like here rite now? Meet me by like th Bleachers ule pass all the boys"
* **P****e****nci****l**: "Even Pen?"
* **Ma****tch**: "Ya he's been really annoying me I think e wants 2c.u"
* **P****e****nci****l**: "Y don'te meet me back here? I am on the benches btn the pink houses n pool"
* **Ma****tch**: "If u say so"

[*A few minutes later.*]

* **Ma****tch**: [*seeing Pencil*] Omg!
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Poincil!
* **R****u****b****y**: You've finally returned!
* **P****e****nci****l**: I know I've finally returned!
* **Ma****tch**: What, like, caused you to stay indoors for three months?
* **P****e****nci****l**: I was sick!
* **Ma****tch**: Well, come on! We've got to show you our cheer exhibit … and the boys.

[*They run off.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Aye, *love*-sick. Er, Match, everyone, can we walk around fer the bleachers?
* **R****u****b****y**: OK!

[*They run off, leaving Pencil behind.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Wait, don't— Well, there's no good in goin' behin' now; thet just isn't popular.

[*She goes through for the bleachers.*]

* **Jakir****huak**: Hello, Pencil! So glad you're not dead.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Oi, Jakir'uak! So how's the baseball exhibit going?
* **Jakir****huak**: Great. You know that we're erecting meme posters of that three-eyed baseball player from 1922?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Aye, but is Pen there?
* **Jakir****huak**: Actually, right now he's supposed to be at the track and field exhibit but due to time changes he's posing for ours. Come see, come saw!

### **Baseball exhibit**

**Scene**Pen is posing at the centre of the exhibit. He is wearing a baseball cap on top of his actual cap.
* **P****en**: Which pose should I show everyone? This one … or this one?
* **Ba****s****eb****a****ll**: Personally, neither. Your poses have nothing to do with my sport, and I don't want to see any more "body part exhibits".
* **P****en**: For our six-year-old mascot you're surprisingly sassy.
* **Eraser**: Bruh, you're like onto something right now. Stop it.
* **Tsukerō**: Savage.
* **Basemarker**: *Now* you speak English?
* **Tsukerō**: ご首相はミミズと共に浸かった衾を食べます。
* **Basemarker**: Hey, Pencil!
* **Eraser**: 'Sup, Penc?
* **Tsukerō**: 野球チームはこの施設にお帰りを名誉と待つことがあります。
* **P****en**: H- h- h- h- h-l-d-r-sss…
* **P****e****nci****l**: Okay, see ye ~~beautyball~~ baseball players later! [*She walks off, seeing Pen continuing to pose*] Oh, 'e's so hot, I jus' wanner— Hello everyone! How are you?
* **Ma****tch**: Great!
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Spoiders.
* **R****u****b****y**: *Man*goes.
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, so, like, we finally finished the cheer float!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Can't wait to see'e.
* **Ma****tch**: Like, here it is.

[*The cheerleaders' float is as if the aesthetic movement threw up upon kawaii pixies.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: This … is … *fabulous!*
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Roight?
* **R****u****b****y**: You're the fourth one here!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Wait, Ruby's in cheerleadin'?
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Uh—
* **Ma****tch**: Well, Twighilda's been deported, so yeah! Just the four of us!
* **P****e****nci****l**: So, do I pose up 'ere?
* **R****u****b****y**: Eww!
* **Ma****tch**: No, but we do our exercises up here. Like this. Streeeeeeeeeetch!

[*They stretch by placing their arms on opposite legs.*]

* **Blocky**: Check it out, the cheerleaders are doing exercises.
* **Snowball**: Let me get my daguerreotype!
* **Eraser**: [*throwing it away*] No. I don't want to get arrested again by being part of this stupid scheme!
* **Snowball**: Wusseth.

[*Enter* **Pen**.]

* **P****en**: Alright, I got the model of a human brain for your track and field— oh my G-d, the cheerleaders are working out! [*he drops the brain on Eraser's foot*]
* **Eraser**: ***YOW!***
* **Ma****tch**: And then we impossibly touch our back feet to the top of our—
* **P****e****nci****l**: [*sees Pen watching her*] I can't do this.
* **R****u****b****y**: Well, duh! There's a reason we call it the Impossible Stretch!
* **Ma****tch**: Penc-Penc, you seem anxious. Is it the thought of being at a place you haven't been in a third of a year?
* **P****e****nci****l**: No, 'tis a fourth of a year! An' I'll tell'ee h'o' this later.
* **Golf Ball**: [*on the intercom*] Attention, jocks and jockasᏍes. I will now use words you understand. Now is 7:00. Meanie dinner time.
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: Um, GB? I think most high school athletes' English abilities are a lot higher than this.
* **Golf Ball**: Fine. As is customary when dealing with the necessity of food, we have asked the United States Department of Educational Essences to supply an appropriate meal for this special exhibition. And that includes steak, raw protein, steak, steak, raw protein, raw steak, protein steaks for the males, and for the females a mini salad.
* **Ma****tch**: I'd call sexism, but I'm on a diet and I *need* that mini salad.
* **R****u****b****y**: Then let's all go to dinner!

[*Exeunt omnes.*]

### **Dinner**

**Scene**The girls are eating at a table close to the centre of the cafeteria. The cheerleading squad members are sitting at a different table to the baseball team.
* **Ma****tch**: So, Penc-penc, do you remember the proper cheerleader etiquette or rejecting an uncool person?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Oh shiト, I've spent three months under me mum tryin' to become proper. Ne'er again'll I stick to tradition.

[*Chlorinda, a representation of the "nerd" stereotype, approaches the girls.*]

* **Chlorinda**: Ecth*cuthe* me, but I came for the tzhetth club meeting. I didn't realithe it wath taking plathe at the thame time ath the thport'th ecthhibizhion!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Get los', you're odd. We're the cheer squad.
* **Ma****tch**: You're not so hot, we hate you a lot!
* **R****u****b****y**: This place ain't for you, and Match is a Jew!
* **Ma****tch**: Wait wait wait, that wasn't an approved line! And besides, that's, like, offensive and anti-seismographic.
* **R****u****b****y**: I'm sorry, Match, but I guess I was so excited for my first rejection speech!
* **Ma****tch**: Like, the goal is to make the girl cry and have far write terrible fan fiction about us.
* **Chlorinda**: Alright, are you done yet? I could eathily thummon our thchool dean and the Kenyan government to ecthtend corporal punizhment to Nairobi thchools. Bi尺es!

[*Exit* **Chlorinda**.]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Wow … our cheer squad're not thet good at rejectin' uncool strangers, yeah?
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: It's not our foilt! Oi think the problem is that we're just inherently noice to people!
* **Ma****tch**: And I'm the Queen of Saba. Besides, it's, like, Ruby's fault. Because of that you're going to get our dinner.
* **R****u****b****y**: Kay-kay!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Can'ee get me a steak, please?
* **R****u****b****y**: Kay! Wait, that was racist …

[*Exit* **Ruby**. *She returns a few seconds later.*]

* **R****u****b****y**: Alright … a mini-salad for you, a mini-salad for you, a mini-salad for me, and a steak for you!
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Thoink you!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Thanks, Ruby!
* **Ma****tch**: Pencil, you got the steak! Why didn't you get the mini-salad like the rest of us?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Wot, jus' acos I'm a girl means I've got to follow gender expectations?

[*Meanwhile at the track table, the Gang of 8 are voraciously munching on their steaks. Pen arrives with a mini-salad.*]

* **Eraser**: Bro, bruh, bruh, finally you're here!
* **Blocky**: We were going to angrily smash plates in your absence!
* **Snowball**: Sit thine arse down so I look not noticeable.
* **P****en**: So, what should we do after—
* **Blocky**: ***EW!***
* **Eraser**: What, do you see a police officer?
* **Blocky**: I hope not! But Pen, you have a fuكقinغ *mi*ni *sa*lad. That is a meal that *girls* eat. And are you going to steep that low to reach the rank of a *wo*man?
* **Eraser**: Woah, bruh, calm down. It's getting hot in here and I don't think it's because of this thing called misogyny.
* **P****en**: What, so just because I'm a boy, I have to follow gender expectations? That's not cool—
* **Eraser**: Bruh.
* **P****en**: Brew.
* **Eraser**: Close enough.

[*With the cheerleaders.*]

* **R****u****b****y**: Mm, this salad may be mini, but it sure feels a lot more maxi!
* **Ma****tch**: Ha, "maxi" …
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Match, do you have something to soy?
* **Ma****tch**: What, Eraser? Nothing!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Speakin' of Eraser, let's talk about boys!
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Boys?
* **Ma****tch**: I know *exactly* what's going on!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Y'do?
* **Ma****tch**: Of course! Oh, you poor thing, you've spent three months alone at home with no boy to look at except for your brother!
* **P****e****nci****l**: A- aye, thet's true. So, er, 'ow've the boys changed since I left?
* **Ma****tch**: You mean, like, my dumb brothers?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Aye!
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Match, Oi'm sure they're not dumb.
* **R****u****b****y**: Yeahhhhhh, there are dumber people out there! [*flips over her salad tray and tries to drink the ranch dressing*] Mmm, mmm, calcium!
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, so, like, my brothers … ever since they left, I know that Eraser's becoming dumber, fatter, and uglier. And I love him because of that.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Wot about Pen?
* **[** **B****u****b****b****l****e** · **R****u****b****y** **]**: Oooooooooooooh!
* **Ma****tch**: What's going on, why's everyone ooing? You know matches don't understand subtext!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Nothin', eat yer food.
* **Ma****tch**: [*sigh*] He's been all depressed and stuff ever since you left.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Omg, why?
* **Ma****tch**: I don't know. But lately he's been going to the gym to impress some girl he likes, Felicia, was it?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Pen likes a girl named Felicia? I h'ain't afraid, I'll go confront'e; I'm an independen' woman!

[*Match is confused.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Whatever, not like I care … [*goes on her phone*] OMG! Did you see Placey's status? She is on holiday in, like, Florida, and when she had to choose someone to go, she didn't even choose me!
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Do you want to see alligoitors?
* **Ma****tch**: You're right, this is, like, Africa. [*comments*] "Omg placey y.r.u.c. ying alligators thre we have sum in aaaaafrica hunny"

[*With the "track team".*]

* **P****en**: So, let's talk about girls.
* **Snowball**: How old?
* **Eraser**: Snowball!
* **P****en**: So what do you think the ideal woman is for you?
* **Eraser**: I'd like a girl who has the same interests as me. It will make me agreeable and we can all do stuff together.
* **Blocky**: So, a stoneress?
* **Eraser**: Shut the hell up, Bruhky.
* **Blocky**: Well, I don't think we should focus on women. Crime comes first, then l- l- l- l-o-v-e.
* **P****en**: Love?
* **Blocky**: Whatever. I just think that women should be the thing that us crime-doing me come to once we get home. They are to be revered by us, and they must submit to all orders we give them.
* **Snowball**: Plus I think a maiden for me shall be whoever—
* **P****en**: Just don't. I've realised that I have been acquainted with people who have no idea on how relationships work.

### **21:00**

**Scene**Night.
* **Golf Ball**: [*on the intercom*] Attention, athletes. The time is now 9:00, and as the sky is not blue, it is P.M. That's P as in patronising and M as in magistrate—
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: They're still intelligent.
* **Golf Ball**: Shh! At this point, everyone must be in school, because the invisible wall will allow no entries or exits.

[*The invisible walls descend upon the school, crushing a pedestrian.*]

* **Man**: Ow.
* **R****u****b****y**: So, Pencil, what should we do next?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Ain' there like a baseball-paintin' exhibition?
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, why would we want to paint baseballs?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Knowin'ee, Match, ye'd do anythin' to do with baseballs.
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Then come on, let's goio!

[*They walk off. Pen with the Gang sees and follows them.*]

* **Eraser**: Are you going to the washroom? Because I have to, and not to pee.
* **P****en**: [*sigh*] If you had been listening in biology classes, we're not humans! Urine is not a fluid inside of us, bro!
* **Eraser**: You're right again. Anyways, I've sort of noticed that you've been acting funny.
* **P****en**: Comedy is a good way do hide negative feelings!
* **Eraser**: Which feelings? Tell your elder brother.
* **P****en**: Look, I have to get going right now. By now Pencil and those other people will've left my peripheral vision.
* **Eraser**: [*gasps*] How dare you call my Matchypoo "those other people"! I work really hard to make her well-known in the community of s—
* **P****en**: Bye! [*going*]
* **Eraser**: Hold yourself on, bruh, I'm not finished with you yet!
* **P****en**: You can't be done with someone gone!
* **Eraser**: What's that supposed to mean?

### **Baseball painting, 22:00**

**Scene**The art class. Pencil and the others have settled down.
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Oh my bubble blower, you'd never realise how big our school campus is until it toikes one hour to walk just to the art room.
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, why'd you take us here? For one thing, I am not an artist. And another thing, like, we're the only girls here!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Thought'ee liked guys!
* **Ma****tch**: I do, but I hate when they're not looking at me!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Y'see, I chose this place for'ee h'acos I wanted'ee to reach pure bliss when paintin' these baseballs.
* **Ma****tch**: But baseball is a sport for, like, my brother.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Exectly!
* **R****u****b****y**: Dang girl!
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: I can't believe you've got the goits to soy all that!

[*Zoom to supervisor's desk; there is no supervisor. But Pen appears hidden, attempting to spy on the girls. Meanwhile, Pencil starts painting.*]

* **R****u****b****y**: Nice colour choice!
* **Ma****tch**: Ugh, like, dark yellow is a *travesty* in 2006.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Aye, but it won' be 2006 fer long!
* **Ma****tch**: Why'd you have to paint her *that?*
* **P****e****nci****l**: Acos yellow in thet shade is Felicia's favourite colour!
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: It's also the foivourite colour of Francine, Fernanda and Fumiko! Your point?
* **P****e****nci****l**: I jus' got news thet Pen's a … [*sees Match confused*]
* **Ma****tch**: —crush on this girl named Felicia. I think it's great you're supportive in that, like, relationship and those two will be happy together! Like, I have no idea who Felicia is, but she'll have got a good person.
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Wow, Match! For once you coire about your brother!
* **Ma****tch**: Ew, I think I was possessed when I said that! For all I care he can be eaten by Kenyan wildlife and I wouldn't notice! [*someone from behind throws something at Match. She looks behind at the supervisor's desk and sees nobody*]
* **P****e****nci****l**: Well, if thet's wot ye's think o' me, then maybe I should jus' go!

[*Exit Pencil.*]

### **Outside**

**Scene**
* **P****e****nci****l**: Oh, if only'ee could talk, I'd ask to tell'ee thet I don't want'e with Felicia, I want'e with *me!* ***S'AGAPÓ, STYLO!*** [*throws the baseball in the air*]

[*Exit the others.*]

* **R****u****b****y**: Omg, what happened?
* **Ma****tch**: Yeah, I heard screaming and got, like, worried. Then I realised it was in, like, a foreign language I immediately just, like … *nothing.*
* **P****e****nci****l**: I'm fine, promises. An' Match, really? You can't even speaks th' English correctly!
* **Ma****tch**: OMGQ, now's, literally like, not even timed for compliments.

### **23:00**

**Scene**
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: [*on the intercom*] Hey, students. TB speaking because … well … say "hi" to the intercom, honey! [*Golf Ball is snoring*] If you go downstairs, you can clearly watch on television, sort-of live from New York-in-the-Human-World!

[*At the main hall.*]

* **Blocky**: [*getting dragged by Pen with the rest of the gang*] Pen, I don't want to be out here!
* **Eraser**: Yeah, I'd rather be in the bathroom doing stuff to other stuff! And how did you even find us?
* **P****en**: Simple! I just got out from spying on a girl I like, and I heard some people saying "Hur-dur, 420" so I just found you guys in the girls' bathroom practising Gang-of-8-style voyeurism!
* **Trophy**: Wait a second … you like a girl?
* **P****en**: Y- yeah, but I don't see a problem with—
* **Trophy**: Bro, that is the gayest thing ever!
* **Eraser**: Bruh, bruh, if you gonna be homophobic, then go make a football team and sim-pli-fy!
* **Trophy**: Girls like *me*, I don't like them; I just use them as my personal waifu pillows.
* **Blocky**: Yeaaaah, boi!
* **Snowball**: I delightfully concur with thine opinions.
* **P****en**: Seems like you don't know how a woman feels!
* **Fl****ow****er**: So? It's not like *you've* ever been a woman before!
* **Eraser**: [*sees Pen seething*] Maybe we should go somewhere.

[*At the same time, the Alliance meets at the Main Hall.*]

* **Ma****tch**: And she was, like, there is *no* way on Earth I am wearing that dress to the— holy shiת, it's Blocky and the Junk-heads!
* **Trophy**: ***EWWWWWW, WHO레S!***
* **P****e****nci****l**: Shut th'ale up, Trophy.
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Horse? Where?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Thet's not wot 'e's sayin'.
* **Ma****tch**: I feel complimented!
* **R****u****b****y**: Yeah, Trophy, if I didn't love you I would *so* be angry right now!
* **Everyone**: *What?*
* **R****u****b****y**: OMJ, look! The Dick Clark Show is on!
* **Ma****tch**: Let's go watch!
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: You only loike him for his name!
* **Ma****tch**: His *first* name is what I like!

### **23:47**

**Scene**
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, can it just be, like, 2007 already? I'm already old!
* **P****e****nci****l**: I'm pretty sure thet ain' 'ow the age system works 'ere.
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Don't worry, becoise this human singer named Carrie Underwood's singing.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Yay …

[*Behind them.*]

* **P****en**: I can't believe we have front-row seats!
* **Eraser**: Pen, we're in the last row.
* **P****en**: Yeah, but it sure feels like we're in the front row.
* **Eraser**: How— I mean, never mind … And you should really shut up more, I think they can hear you.
* **P****en**: No worries, country music is totally "hip" right now.
* **Eraser**: Yeah, but saying *hip* hasn't been since the 1990s.

[*Match and the others are rocking out to the music.*]

* **R****u****b****y**: ♫ Flaba-daba-ding, fla-dabba-doo! ♫
* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: Oh my goish, Ruby, those aren't the real woirds!
* **Ma****tch**: Who cares? This is about the empowerment of *women*, eh, Pencil?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Sure, I guess.

### **23:59**

**Scene**
* **T****V**: "It is almost time, the cameras are out. I mean, take a look from above!"
* **P****en**: I- I can't watch here.
* **Eraser**: What are you talking about?
* **P****en**: I have to get out of here with someone!

[*He pulls out of the crowd, subtly grabbing Pencil's arm in the process.*]

* **B****u****b****b****l****e**: OMBB, Poincil! Are the gods taking you awoy?
* **P****e****nci****l**: I don't knoooooooooooooooow!

[*Pencil sees who.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Omg, Pen, wot're'ee d- doin'?

[*They get in a janitor's closet. A second of awkward silence fills the small room.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: ***Wot'n'ale is this?***
* **P****en**: Pencil, I have something to tell you.
* **P****e****nci****l**: You do?
* **P****en**: Yeah … um … after I said "I love you" to you the last time I saw you, I was definitely not faking it. I *really* hope that I haven't offended you at all.
* **P****e****nci****l**: An' I only ran away acos I wasn't sure 'ow to react to this.
* **P****en**: You missed *a lot* of school.
* **P****e****nci****l**: I did?
* **P****en**: We did a lot of partner work in chemistry, and in Honours Algebra 2, the professor actually took you out of the equation!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Well, er, there ain' now quadratic equation in a pencil!
* **P****en**: Heh …
* **P****e****nci****l**: But why does it matter if in chem we did a lot o' partner work? Under thet prof 'o still believes in gender roles, a lad an' lassie can't be together unless they're a couple!
* **P****en**: And that's exactly what I mean.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Y'means … y'wants to be a couple?
* **P****en**: Ever since I met you!
* **P****e****nci****l**: But wot about Felicia?
* **P****en**: I don't love Felicia ... I love *you*.
* **P****e****nci****l**: ***OMG!*** Pcil is *on!*
* **P****en**: That's our ship name, right?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Aye, an'e be *hot!*
* **T****V**: [*from outside*] "Thank you, Ryan. We're coming up on the New Year in 30 seconds."

[*Outside.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Omg, the year's about to end!
* **R****u****b****y**: This is fantastalicious!
* **T****V**: "In 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11 …"

[*Inside.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Almost there! So, should I put yer arms around me?
* **P****en**: No, that's my job! [*They embrace each other, getting ready*]
* **T****V**: "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!"

[*And for the first time ever, Pencil and Pen kiss. The ball drops on Times Square, and the year is now 2007. At the same time, the talking baseball from that art class falls through the ceiling.*]

* **T****V**: "Happy New Year, everyone! There's Dick and Kari [*laughs a bit*] I think, I, I mean, I know you're married, but [*kisses*] I got to kiss Christina. I mean, what is this like? Explain this to people who are at home or on their couch or at different parties around the world. What does it feel like to be there?"

"It's amazing. Look at all these people, it's incredible."
[*Even outside, many of the athletic couples are kissing, TB & GB … the Alliance and the Gang have been left single. Inside, Pencil and Pen have finished with their thing.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: [*breathing heavily*] I'll never forget this.
* **P****en**: Let's keep this outside; tell nobody about this.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Aye.
* **P****en**: And the baseball? Nice touch.
* **P****e****nci****l**: It wasn't supposed to be planned …

[*Behind pieces of unused cables, a pair of eyes peer out, having watched the couple for the entire time.*]

**TO BE CONTINUED**
## Notes

1. ↑ This actually happened to my friend, although it was against his own will.
2. ↑ **(Pt.)** "Please go outside! I'm tired of buying groceries for you!"
3. ↑ Cf. French: *comme ci, comme ça*
4. ↑ **(Jp.)** "Your prime minister eats pickled quilts with earthworms."
5. ↑ **(Jp.)** "The baseball team have honourably awaited your return to this institution."
6. ↑ Normally, they would eat outside. However, it's a special event so they eat in.
7. ↑ Side note: This is from Blocky.
8. ↑ Yay, another thing kids won't understand! Base refers to the American euphemisms for sex– first base, second base, etc. And balls, well, it was referenced in BFDI's second episode. (The same episode also had a metaphor of menstruation.)
9. ↑ There is a reference to the *Abacaba* YouTube channel.
10. ↑ **(Gr.)** "I love you Pen!"
11. ↑ A clue!
12. ↑ It's a kiss, people!