Age disparity in sexual relationships

In sexual relationships, concepts of **age disparity**, including what defines an age disparity, have developed over time and vary among societies. Differences in age preferences for mates can stem from partner availability, gender roles, and evolutionary mating strategies, and age preferences in sexual partners may vary cross-culturally. There are also social theories for age differences in relationships as well as suggested reasons for 'alternative' age-hypogamous relationships. Age-disparate relationships have been documented for most of recorded history and have been regarded with a wide range of attitudes dependent on sociocultural norms and legal systems.

## Statistics

Age difference in heterosexual married couples, 2017 US Current Population Survey
 Husband 15–19 years older than wife
 Husband 10–14 years older than wife
 Husband 6–9 years older than wife
 Husband 4–5 years older than wife
 Husband 2–3 years older than wife
 Husband and wife within 1–2 years
 Wife 2–3 years older than husband
 Wife 4–5 years older than husband
 Wife 6–9 years older than husband
 Wife 10–14 years older than husband
 Wife 15–19 years older than husband
 Wife 20+ years older than husband

Data in Australia and the United Kingdom show a similar pattern.

Heterosexual relationships with age disparities have been observed with both men and women as the older or younger partner. In various cultures, older men and younger women often seek one another for sexual or marital relationships. Older women sometimes date younger men as well, and in both cases wealth and apparent physical attractiveness are often relevant. Because most men are interested in women in their 30s, adolescent boys are generally sexually interested in women somewhat older than they are. Older men also display an interest in women of their own age. However, research suggests that relationship patterns are more influenced by women's preferences than men's.

Most heterosexual men marry women younger than they are; with the difference being between two and three years in Spain, the UK reporting the difference to be on average about three years, and the US, two and a half. The pattern was also confirmed for the rest of the world, with the gap being largest in Africa. However, the number of women marrying younger men is rising. A study released in 2003 by the UK's Office for National Statistics concluded that the proportion of women in England and Wales marrying younger men rose from 15% to 26% between 1963 and 1998. Another study also showed a higher divorce rate as the age difference rose for when either the woman was older or the man was older. A 2008 study, however, concluded that the difference is not significant.

In August 2010, Michael Dunn of the University of Wales Institute, Cardiff, completed and released the results of a study on age disparity in heterosexual dating. Dunn concluded that "Not once across all ages and countries ... did females show a preference for males significantly younger than male preferences for females" and that there was a "consistent cross-cultural preference by women for at least same-age or significantly older men". A 2003 AARP study reported that 20% of husbands 19-20 years older than wife.

A 2011 study suggested that marriage of younger men by women is positively correlated with decreased longevity, particularly for the woman, though married individuals generally still have longer lifespans than singles.

## Reasons for age disparity

There are complex and diverse reasons that people enter into age-disparate relationships, and a recent review in the *Journal of Family Theory and Review* showed vast differences across contexts. Explanations for age disparity usually focus on either the rational choice model or the analysis of demographic trends in a society. The rational choice model suggests that people look for partners who can provide for them in their life (bread-winners); as men earn more as they get older, their partners will therefore prefer older men. This factor is diminishing as more women enter the labor force. The demographic trends are concerned with the sex ratio in the society, the marriage squeeze, and migration patterns. Another explanation concerns cultural values: the higher the value placed in having children, the higher the age gap will be. Yet Canadian researchers have found that age-disparate couples are less likely to have children than similarly aged ones. As people have chosen to marry later and remarriage becomes more common, the age differences between couples have increased as well.

In a Brown University study, it has been noted that the social structure of a country determines the age difference between spouses more than any other factor. One of the concerns of relationships with age disparities in some cultures is a perceived difference between people of different age ranges. These differences may be sexual, financial or social. Gender roles may complicate this even further. Socially, a society with a difference in wealth distribution between older and younger people may affect the dynamics of the relationship.

Although the "cougar" trend, in which older women date much younger men, is often portrayed in the media as a widespread and established facet of modern Western culture, at least one academic study has found the concept to be a "myth". A British psychological study published in *Evolution and Human Behavior* in 2010 concluded that heterosexual men and women, in general, continued to follow traditional gender roles when searching for mates. The study found that, as supported by other academic studies, most men preferred younger, "attractive" women, while most women, of any age, preferred successful, established men their age or older. The study found very few instances of older women pursuing much younger men and vice versa. The study has been criticized, however, for limiting their results to online dating profiles, which are traditionally not used by those seeking older or younger partners, and for excluding the United States from the study.

## "Half-your-age-plus-seven" rule

One rule of thumb to determine whether an age difference is socially acceptable holds that a person should never date someone whose age is less than half their own plus seven years. According to this rule, a 28-year-old would date no one younger than 21 (half of 28, plus 7) and a 50-year-old would date no one younger than 32 (half of 50, plus 7).

Although the provenance of the rule is unclear, it is sometimes said to have originated in France. The rule appears in John Fox Jr.'s 1903 novel *The Little Shepherd of Kingdom Come*, in American newspapers in 1931 attributed to Maurice Chevalier, and in *The Autobiography of Malcolm X,* attributed to Elijah Muhammad.

In earlier sources, the rule sometimes had a different interpretation than in contemporary times. Not only was it gender-specific, it was presented as a formula to calculate the *ideal* age of a female partner at the beginning of a relationship, instead of a *lower limit*. Frederick Locker-Lampson's *Patchwork* from 1879 states the opinion "A wife should be half the age of her husband with seven years added." Max O'Rell's *Her Royal Highness Woman* from 1901 gives the rule in the format "A man should marry a woman half his age, plus seven." A similar interpretation is also present in the 1951 play *The Moon Is Blue* by F. Hugh Herbert: "Haven't you ever heard that the girl is supposed to be half the man's age, plus seven?"

A 2000 study found that the rule was fairly accurate at predicting the minimum age of a woman that a man would marry or date. However, the rule was not found to be predictive of the minimum age of a man that a woman would marry or date, nor (by reversing the formula) of the maximum age that either sex would marry or date.

This rule implies that both individuals should be at least 14 years older than their age difference.