recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Vits Ventania

"É tipo os desenvolvimento de My Hero Academia é tudo Rushado"

-Vits Ventania

**Vits Ventania**, produtor geral da *Kk ala studios* e um dos fundadores da empresa.

Vits Ventania é um famoso produtor de cinema que se envolve em muitas confusões quase toda semana e na maioria das vezes envolve roubo de carros, ninguém sabe como ele comete esses crimes e se safa deles tão rapidamente.

## Biografia

Encontrado no rio Amazonas, Vits foi levado para Manaus onde cresceu e continua morando. Desde cedo, Vits sempre teve interesse em cinema, assistia diversas séries e filmes, fazia anotações e roteiros para possíveis continuações de filmes que ele gostava. Viveu uma infância difícil pois não tinha tanto amigos e passava maior parte de seus dias dentro de casa sozinho, mas apesar disso Vits ainda era feliz pois assim tinha tempo pra ver mais séries e desenhos em casa. Quando mais velho começou a trabalhar em uma oficina chamada "Motores do careca". Vitis vivia bem apesar de não ser o seu empego dos sonhos até que um dia um cara deixou seu corsa na oficina e quando Vits viu o rosto do cliente ele não aguentou a risada e na mesma hora roubou o carro e tentou fugir com ele. Sem saber pra onde correr com o carro, por coincidência um velho amigo seu ligou e perguntou se ele gostaria de trabalhar em sua lanchonete, sem pensar duas vezes Vits foi direto para a localização da lanchonete, assim sendo contrato eventualmente e continua fugindo do cliente até os dias de hoje.

AFILIAÇÃO

- Trupe

- Kk Ala (anteriormente)

- Amino (anteriormente)

- Neto Não Sabe Dar (anteriormente)

- Server da Ju (anteriormente)

- Bebes (anteriormente)

## Filmologia

* Klaus: um filme natalino pqp
* Klaus 2: o inimigo agora é outro
* Karate kid
* Klaus 3: Em busca do Celta Cromado
The Grand Coronation Hotel - Part 2

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Blind Faith

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

You can slip into your local theater that has been closed for the past seven months, and use white paint to paint Hapless Heroes on the screen so that when they go to turn the lights down and the movie comes up all they see is Hapless Heroes on the darkened screen with the light in the back.

(Reminder: The Hapless Heroes do not condone of this behavior. Please do not do illegal things on our behalf.)

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Berronar's Bereavement - Part 1

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Kill a bunch of pigeons, and chop all their little feet off, and attach them to little cherry tomatoes and send them marching on little roller skates down a hill and to Oprah's house.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Lying for the Greater Good

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Dark City Tarantis - Part 2

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Make five pounds of mac and cheese and put it in a two pound bag and throw it out the window of a moving Volkswagen Beetle, yellow of course, and scream that everyone watching should listen, or watch, Hapless Heroes Podcast

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
The Recapless Heroes - Recap No. 4

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Lots of people want to try to tell the future, right? There's all sorts of different ways, runes, dice, all that sort of stuff, but we're gonna go a little further, we're gonna go a little stranger, we're going to take this concept of reading tea leaves and we're going to take it to the next level. So if you really, really like us: In a box of black tea from the store with a 100 tea bags in it. Rip every single one of those little bags open and just dump that powdered tea crap on the table and start chopping it in lines and snorting it and see what kind of visions come with it. (Note from me: This will probably be painful)

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
A Fin in Time - Part 4

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Send an invitation to William F. Podcastington, that's right the inventor of podcasts, it was not Conan O'Brian, and invite Sir Lord William F. Podcastington to a Madam Tussauds Wax Museum and before they get there, dress up as David Bowie and also bring a portable pocket hair dryer and go to the Bowie wax sculpture and melt it down with that bad boy, and stand in its place very still. Just throw the hair dryer wherever. You don't want to get that anywhere near any of the other wax sculputres and when William F. Podcastington enters the David Bowie room sing Hapless Heroes related David Bowie parody songs to him.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Delaying the Inevitable

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Portent Portable

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
FOR SCIENCE!

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Lug Him to the Launchinator

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Legally change your name to Chorizo J Pregnart, and build a car in the shape of an avocado and drive through the streets with a giant megaphone attached to the top and declare yourself Chancellor of Guacamole and also tell people that they should listen to our podcast

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
The Hold of Holding

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
As Below, So Above

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Aye, Eye, Aieeee

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Find a small gender appropriate swimsuit put it on underneath whatever set of clothing you might be comfortable in prior to doing so you will want to write the name of our podcast on/about your body you're going to save your money for one calendar year. You are going to purchase a ticket for the Super Bowl when the Bills are in the Super Bowl next year. You're going to go down to the sideline and very nicely make friends with the security guard, get him to maybe take a picture of something the opposite direction, ditch your clothes, sprint onto the field. There will be children watching, hence the swimsuit, who don't want you full nude, and run around with Hapless Heroes at the Super Bowl that the Bills are playing at.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
A Fin in Time - Part 28 - How High Are We

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Invent a machine that uses synthetic saliva and a creepy set of fake teeth and it will chew food for you and demo it outside of various supermarkets and name it the Hapless Heroes Podcast Automatic Food Chewer and that will be a tantalizing way to advertise our podcast

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Acting Captain

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Pregnart and the Undulating Multicolor Ice Jacket

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Naked Brunch

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
A Fin in Time - Part 29 - Hedronezzzar

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Fill a baby pool with chili and then fill a backpack all filled with saltines and crush them all up in there and then dump them into the baby pool filled with chili and have yourself a nice little dip in that pool. Get into the pool and swim around. Do not let anyone see you do this

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
The Eye(s) of the Beholder - Part 1

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
The Hapless (Anti)Heroes - Part 1

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Piss and Rosemary

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Discover a new species of iguana, name it Phillip Armando Saskatchewan, give it a big old kiss on the mouth, and then play our podcast for it

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Double Dragon - Part 1

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
A Fin in Time - Part 7

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Design yourself a pocketable incendiary device and cover your body in fire-retardant gel, and clothing, except for the pants. Walk up to somebody with your pocketable incendiary device in your pants pocket and say, "The Hapless Heroes is not a good podcast." and then click your incendiary device, and your pants will go up in flames, but you will be safe from it because of the retardant gel, and you'll wink at them, "Get it?". You'll say "Wink, wink, because my pants are on fire, because I said the Hapless Heroes Podcast is not good. Wink, get it?." At this point, you'll probably be sustaining some burns, but it'll be worth it.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
De-Ritualizing - Part 3

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Spooktacular Special 2020 - Part 1

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Get yourself a burner phone, it can be any kind of burner phone, it can be a crappy flip phone for all we care, it doesn't matter it's a burner phone, and just start calling random numbers. Pull out the some old classics the 867-5309, shit with 555, it doesn't really matter. Call the emergency number from the IT crowd if you can remember it. Do any of those things, any time someone picks up recommend to them to watch the Hapless Heroes Podcast. This is where having a burner phone is super handy, because their probably gonna be super receptive to it. After you're done pitch the phone. Thanks.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Dead Man Walking

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Fashion a shoehorn into a real horn. Just like melt a couple of shoehorns down and pour them into a plastic bugle mold and go wake up an encampment of soldiers with the Hapless Heroes version of TAPs, and when they get up and ask what is going on, you just tell them "Listen to Hapless Heroes Podcast"

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Dopplepopolis

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Dark City Tarantis - Part 3

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Make a meatloaf and then slice very thin slices of it, ketchup or gravy, it's your choice. I don't want to dictate what type of meatloaf you're going to be making, but take a couple of those slices to your local print center, or office supply store. Whoever has a lamination service and laminate your slices of meatloaf and bring them to your local library and display as your special little art works and say that "Everybody should listen to the Hapless Heroes Podcast"

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Vecnational Treasure - Part 2

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Organize a foot race from the very bottom tip of Florida to 100 miles north of the bottom tip of Florida and make people race that distance and I guess the twist on that is that they have to be wearing a funny hat the whole time. If the hat comes off they are disqualified. Silly hats only race. I guess, it might take multiple days. Set up a couple camping sites along that distance, probably. Yeah, it's a 100 mile race, it's a super ultra marathon. Anyway, the winner of this fucking foot race which is going to take like a week, probably, is going to get a pizza pie, and we'll give it to them. We'll send it to them. The End

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Waterwalking Waterboarding

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Do You Even Lift, Bro?

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
What's That Sound?

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
What the Captain Would Have Wanted

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

You are going to go teach yourself disc golf. You're going to get really good at it. Like, absolutely incredible at aiming these discs and you're going to find the biggest field you can find and get yourself a massive package of disc golf discs and you're going to spell out listen to the Hapless Heroes by throwing each individual disc (in the Sally Field).

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Wood Puns

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
John Coffey

John Coffey ist ein zwei Meter großer Gefangener, der unschuldig im Knast sitzt. John redet nicht besonders viel, und heult meistens in der Nacht. Er hat nämlich vor Dunkelheit Angst. Am Ende des Films und Buches stellt sich heraus, das John Coffey, unschuldig Exekutiert worden ist, und der wahre Mörder, der Kinder, William Wharton ist.

Paul Wundert sich am Ende des Buches und Filmes, warum John andere Menschen, Heilen und wieder zum Leben erwecken kann, sich selbst aber niemals Heilen, und auch Wiederbeleben kann.
Hypothetically F—ked

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Find a small gender appropriate swimsuit put it on underneath whatever set of clothing you might be comfortable in prior to doing so you will want to write the name of our podcast on/about your body you're going to save your money for one calendar year. You are going to purchase a ticket for the Super Bowl when the Bills are in the Super Bowl next year. You're going to go down to the sideline and very nicely make friends with the security guard, get him to maybe take a picture of something the opposite direction, ditch your clothes, sprint onto the field. There will be children watching, hence the swimsuit, who don't want you full nude, and run around with Hapless Heroes at the Super Bowl that the Bills are playing at.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
The Green Mile (Buch)

## The Green Mile

The Green Mile ist ein Buch, des Schriftstellers „Stephen King“.

>>The Green Mile<< - so nennt sich der Todestrakt des Staatsgefängnisses Cold Mountain. John Coffey wurde zum Tode verurteilt, weil er zwei kleine Mädchen missbraucht und ermordet haben soll. Dem Hünen wohnt aber auch eine übernatürliche Kraft inne… Kann ein Mörder zugleich ein begnadeter Heiler sein? Und wenn ja, darf oder sollte man ihn dann töten?

**Verfilmt mit dem Oscar-Preisträger Tom Hanks**

>>So betörend und berührend wie gleichzeitig verstörend.<< Entertainment Weekly

Eine ausführliche Zusammenfassung folgt bald
We Go Where the Sausage Guides

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Find a small gender appropriate swimsuit put it on underneath whatever set of clothing you might be comfortable in prior to doing so you will want to write the name of our podcast on/about your body you're going to save your money for one calendar year. You are going to purchase a ticket for the Super Bowl when the Bills are in the Super Bowl next year. You're going to go down to the sideline and very nicely make friends with the security guard, get him to maybe take a picture of something the opposite direction, ditch your clothes, sprint onto the field. There will be children watching, hence the swimsuit, who don't want you full nude, and run around with Hapless Heroes at the Super Bowl that the Bills are playing at.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
What Happened That One Time...

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Just make yourself a big pot of soup, just like, go to the grocery store and get some fine ingredients. Get yourself home and just go to it. Just make some homemade soup, and send us a picture, and then log onto our discord channel and show it to us pics of the soup.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Vecnational Treasure - Part 6

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

Fashion a wig out of moss and twigs and sticks, which are different from twigs because they are sized different in length and circumference, and go to a science museum and just prop yourself up in a corner and put a little label/placard on yourself that says, "The first Hapless Heroes listener." and then have a little description of yourself that says, "You were driven to insanity and made this wig, because there is something wrong with your little brain because you listened to our podcast too muuuuch."

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

As always, a BIG thanks to Tim @ https://tabletopaudio.com for providing the SFX and ambiences used in this episode and beyond!
Arlen Bitterbuck

Arlen Bitterbick ist ein Häftling, in „The Green Mile“, der wegen Mordes auf dem Elektronischen Stuhl, zu Tode verurteilt worden ist.

Bei seiner Hinrichtung, fängt Arlen Bitterbuck, an zu brennen. Weil Percy vergessen hat, einen feuchten Schwamm, unter die Metallkappe zu tuen (der gleiche Fehler passiert ihm, bei Eduard Delacroix).

Brutus Howell „Arlen Bitterbuck, Sie wurden von einem Geschworenengericht für Schuldig befunden und von einem Richter, dieses Staates zum Tode verurteilt“. „Haben Sie noch etwas, vor ihrer Hinrichtung zu sagen“? Arlen Bitterbuck: „Ja“! „Ich will ‘n Brathähnchen mit Kartoffeln und Soße… und dir die Mütze voll scheißen“! „Dann will ich dass sich Mae West auf mein Gesicht setzt, weil ich so‘n geiler Mösenlecker bin“! Die Wärter lachen alle, außer Paul, der die Sache ziemlich unlustig findet. Er sagt Brutus er solle den Strom anstellen was dieser dann auch tut.
The Lighthouse of Legrodex - Finale

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Frankie Wilde and the Wilde Bunch Minus Frankie Wilde With Special Guest Frankie Wilde, Featuring Pregnart - Part 2

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
William Wharton

William Wharton auch Wild Bill, oder Billy the Kit genannt, ist ein Häftling der wegen Vergewaltigung und Mordes im Gefängnis sitzt. William Wharton ist der wahre Mörder, der Detterik Zwillinge und nicht John Coffey.

William Wharton prügelt sich oft, mit den Wärtern.

William wird von Percy Wetmore, einem Wärter in Block E erschossen.
Melinda Moores

Melinda Moores ist die Frau, von Hall Moores.

Melinda Moores ist schwer krank, aber John Coffey, kann Sie heilen. Melinda Moores hat auch eine sehr vulgäre Ausdrucksweise. Als John Coffey, Paul, Dean, Harry und Paul zu ihr fahren, damit John Sie heilen kann, fragt Sie ihren Freund Hall, was die Hurensöhne (Paul Edgecomb, John Coffey, Dean Stanton, Harry Terwilliger, Brutus Howell) hier wollen würden. Paul erklärt ihr dass John Coffee Sie heilen könne. John Coffey geht zu der, im Bett liegenden Melinda Moores hin. Melinda Moores schreit Sie wolle nicht, von einem Zweimeter großen schwarzen, Vergewaltigt werden, worauf Paul ihr ein zweites Mal sagt, dass John Coffey sie wirklich heilen könne. Was er dann auch tut, er heilt Sie. Danach hustet John Coffey ein paar Insekten aus. Das tut er immer, wenn er Leute heilt. Melinda Moores ist nun wieder gesund.
Eduard Delacroix

Delacroix ist ein Häftling, der wegen mordes zu Tode auf dem Elektronischen Stuhl, verurteilte wurde.

John Coffey, nimmt nach Delacroix Exekution, Mr. Jingles auf.

Eduard fängt bei seiner Exekution, an zu brennen. (Weil Percy vergessen hat, einen feuchten Schwamm unter die Metallhaube zu tun) den gleichen Fehler macht Percy bei Arlen Bitterbuck.

Eduard Delacroix, wird von den anderen Wärtern und Häftlingen immer „Del“, genannt.
Your Quest is My Quest

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## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

### **The Field Vs. Fields Controversy**

Typically an IYRLU would begin with:

> "...and if you like us, right now, you love us Sally Field and the whole deal..."
>
>
>

For a period of time "Field" was used interchangeably with "Fields", and there is a minor on going jokey dispute between cast members as to the correct useage to this day.

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].
Whispers of Mad Scientists

* N/A

## **If You Really Love Us**

***Also known as:** "A Zach" affectionately refering to him as the originator of the popular end of show feature.*

Each week an off the wall suggestion about how to promote the podcast is made to the audience, with the explicit understanding that anything illegal, otherworldly or simply impossible is meant with tongue firmly placed in cheek. Some of them (the legal ones) have actually been possible.

This week's ***If You Really Love Us*** is lovingly transcribed by community member Reinhoc:

## **External Links**

Reddit

Discord

## **Credits**

Special thanks to [audio people] for use of their [services and FX].