F-ZERO RISING: REVENGX Part 4/Original Story

"Out on the circuit, every last racer has a story. More often than not, the fates of these pilots tangle together in exciting and unexpected ways. I can tell right now that there are secret battles going on between fierce enemies. Truly, battles between good an evil are waged out here on the circuit! I cannot feign ignorance on that front. Some F-ZERO pilots are fighting for a greater purpose, and others have all natures of vile plots.
  "I was aware of some of these schemes even before the US-MKJIO contacted me. I've been watching and commenting on these races for a long time, so there isn't much hidden to my eyes. Was I willing to help for that greater good?
  "It's not that I don't want to. But I am the face of this dying sport, which has been stagnant for a decade and a half. Billions of fans and their families look to me for a beacon of impartial, unambiguous neutrality. It is out of respect for the sport that I don't pick favorites. It's my job to simply observe and communicate whatever happens out there on the course, no matter what.
  "But, I'm not worried. Not about terrible evil plans, or diabolical evil villains. More than even my respect for the sport of F-ZERO is my respect and trust in the brave pilots who put their lives on the line to bring us the thrill and entertainment we crave. So it isn't my place to take part in these battles. The pilots, the real stars of the show out there. I know that they will makes sure that justice prevails.
  "Though, just between you and me, I did take one measure to help in my own way. I made adjustments to the location of the fifth sector of the race. I made sure the last area would not have complex turns, corkscrews, or loops. I picked the most plain, unbiased place imaginable. In fact, the entire last leg of the race will be mostly a straight shoot. This action neither benefits nor hinders any particular racer, so I can remain true to my values and my role. But what it does do is provide the right environment for a battle on equal footing. I've made sure to set an appropriate stage for these thrilling narratives of good and evil to reach their dramatic conclusions.
  "This final destination is just a short ways ahead, now. The racers are progressing through the courses like mad, and it won't be long before they reach the last stretch.
  "Having just crossed the perilous jump between Mushroom City and Outer Space, our valiant F-ZERO racers will face their greatest challenges yet as the most exciting Grand Prix in history nears its explosive conclusion...
  "... And as long as I'm off the record, here... aw, shucks! You can do it, Captain Falcon! And I'm rooting for you, too, Raiden! You two will definitely overcome the challenges ahead, and earn the happy ending that heroes deserve!"

  At our last intermission, the race blazed throughout outer space itself. However, there seemed to be growing discord amongst the hosts...

  Mr. Zero did some manipulating of the screens the audience were watching in order to pull up a holographic display of the Grand Prix racecourse, downsized and scaled to the point of looking like a 3D map. "Alright, folks, now that all of our pilots have crossed the perilous jump through the asteroid field, they've touched down back onto the track, and are about to begin the second segment of the Outer Space area! They've only got a little bit further to go to reach the fifth sector of this Grand Prix, and from there the victory line is practically within reach...!"

  ---Music: Dire Dire Docks---

  Shy Guy turned his head to see that his roommate Bill was no longer even watching the race, and seemed to be emotionally struggling. "Hey, uh... the race is getting pretty intense. I know you love the thrill of these races. Don't you have any commentary to make...?"
  "Who cares? Nobody wants to hear complaints from a pretentious baby."
  "Look, man. I didn't mean that. I'm sorry for hurting your pride, but can't you just let it go?"
  "Pride? Is that what this is about, to you? You don't even get how much this matters to me?" Bill quizzed back with aggression as if he had just been wounded, "Sure. I'll just let it go, then. I'll just, forget about F-ZERO forever. The rest of the world already has..."
  Shy Guy quieted and tried to analyze the situation. He had grown up with F-ZERO, too, so he didn't understand why Bill was clearly taking it a whole lot more seriously than he was.
  Bill filled the conversational void by continuing to talk. "Look, man. I didn't have things easy in life. When I was kid, they used to make fun of me for the way I sit in chairs. I always wore my interests on my sleeve and I've always been passionate about what I love, and while I was growing up people just constantly thought I was annoying for it. They always have. And when I was lonely and upset, my favorite games were still there for me. From the SNES days, Captain Falcon was out there being an awesome dude who always beat the bad guys and won first place. But he wasn't a hero to me because of that. He was a hero to me because racing is what he loved, and he didn't care what his rivals said about him because of it. He just did what he loved and wasn't ashamed about it. And when I was at my lowest points, that inspired me."
  Shy Guy wanted to say something, but he was at a loss for how to reply. He was so used to having trivial debates with his roommate on the most arbitrary things, and not ever taking any of it personally.
  "And I'll admit, I was hard on Mario Kart, but it's because I'm frustrated, alright? It's just, painful to see a more popular series still going strong decades later while a hidden gem like F-ZERO builds dust, never to return."
  This turn of events was was filling him with regret, enough to want to try and say something to cheer up his friend. "Well, I did recently hear rumors about Nintendo reviving a long canceled game or something like that. You never know... maybe that could be an F-ZERO game for the Switch..."
  "Fat chance," Bill scoffed. "In truth, I gave up hope a long time ago. I was trying to enjoy this one last Grand Prix for what it was. A final goodbye from the franchise I hold dearest to my heart."
  A few crafty racers stole the lead quite handily. "Looks like we have a whole new line up out there, folks!" Mr. Zero announced, "I can hardly believe my eyes, but right in front of the pack is the team that hit a banana peel and a mine right at the beginning of the race! And if you thought you saw a ghost... you'd be right! This team is composed of two undead individuals brought back from the grave: fan favorite F-ZERO racer, The Skull, driving his new car, Lightning McQueen!"
  "Hey, do you see that, Bill? Those two revived! And they were fucking dead!" Shy Guy asserted optimistically, "If they can come back, so can the F-ZERO franchise, right?"
  "I mean, I don't really think those two subjects are directly comparable, but still," Bill sniffled as he was, regardless, moved by his friend's attempts to cheer him up. "I really do appreciate the sentiment."
  Mr. Zero got both of their attention as his gestures invited the three of them to share a collective high-five. "That's right! We're all here today, joined by a common bond: our love for F-ZERO!!! So let's get right back to the action, folks!"

  ---Music: For True Story---

  "The racers are already starting to naturally sort out their positions, ladies and gentleman! " Mr. Zero proclaimed, "Let's name them from the top: in first place, we have our undead, unkillable duo, The Skull and Lightning--wait, I stand corrected. Wariod and Don Genie just killed both of them and the Fat Shark took first place."
  Sure enough, Wariod had leapt from his car, grappled Lightning McQueen, and used Zangief's Ultimate Atomic Buster, piledriving the car straight into the track with an impressive explosion. The cars following closely behind had to swerve drastically to avoid the burst of flames and the ensuing wreckage.
  Raiden shook his head disapprovingly. "This is getting too hectic for my tastes. Our targets are causing a lot of damage. How should make our approach, Captain?"
  "I agree. This problem is getting out of hand," Tito spoke to them over their communicators, "I'm weighing our options now, bruddahs. We may have to take a more direct approach. I have a few industry contacts I could try and reach, to call them in for backup."
  Wariod teleported back into the Fat Shark using psychic powers, and the dastardly team began to build a larger and larger lead in front of all those pursuing it. "The poor fools don't even comprehend that they don't stand a chance against our combined might," Don Genie gloated, "I have all sorts of plans for what to do with my share of the prize money!"
  "We're cutting it 90 for me, 10 for you," Wariod asserted. The smile on his face hadn't ceased for even a single moment since the race began. His face was likely permanently stuck that way. What was changing, however, was his power level. Wariod was growing stronger. He was growing less stable. He was growing more dangerous.
  Genie's face reacted with a look of distrust and slight disgust. "What? Come now, I'm the one providing the means to enter this race in the first place. I won't settle for anything less than half and half."
  "You're annoying. I've changed my mind. I'll take all of the money," Wariod spoke with threatening undertones, "You would be nothing without my power to aid you."
  "Calm down, friend. We'll work out a way to split the earnings in a mutually agreeable way, I'm certain. Just give it some thought for now while we finish this race."
  "I'm going to work out a way to split your skull with a sledgehammer in a mutually agreeable way if you keep making me angry," Wariod replied monotone, still smiling, and his beady eyes unblinking, "Just give that some thought for now while you finish this race."
  Don Genie's eyes narrowed in annoyance. This partnership clearly wasn't working out, but they needed to remain a pair in order to win the Grand Prix. While driving, he would secretly come up with a way to deal with the growing problem Wariod was becoming to his plans. He would have to put those thoughts on hold, however, as he had to take evasive maneuvers in response to a volley of lasers from above.
  Bullet Bill took over narrating, finally having regained some measure of composure. "Coming up close behind are Fox and Falco, and they are opening fire with their Arwings! Laser bolts are raining down on the track, but the Fat Shark is expertly dodging the attacks with unpredictable, serpentine motions!"
  Fox addressed the issue that was the drivers of the Fat Shark. "Those guys have been nothing but trouble all race! We need to take him down before he causes more harm!"
  "A mutual Hawaiian friend of ours called us and told us the situation," Falco explained to Captain Falcon and Raiden, "So naturally, we're here to help!"
  A few stray bees had followed the two Arwings to try and stop them, but they were able to expertly spin fast enough to knock all of the tiny attackers off. They were relentless in their pursuit of the Fat Shark, and even managed to score a few hits with their lasers. The Fat Shark was looking to be in danger.
  "If we can just disable his vehicle, that'll make your job a lot easier, right, Captain Falcon?" Fox questioned.
  The captain smiled and gave a salute to his old friends. "Good luck!"
  Fox launched a smart bomb that followed the Fat Shark, threatening to bring it down then and there. "Duck and cover!" he cautioned.
  "Nuisances," Don Genie brushed aside casually.
  "Just keep driving," Wariod commanded. He telported outside of the Fat Shark, hovering in the air above the car and facing backwards. As the smart bomb came closer and closer, he simply caught it and squeezed it, completely containing the massive explosion within his fist.
  Shy Guy gasped in awe. "Wariod just displayed a massive show of sheer strength and power! We better watch out to not get on his bad side, for he's looking to be one of the most dangerous figures out there on the tracks!"
  Bullet Bill leaned over to whisper to Shy Guy. "I hope the Toad half of him isn't mad at us because we haven't hung out together in awhile."
  "I feel like there's a reason we stopped doing that," Shy Guy admitted guiltily. "I can't even keep up with their antics these days."
  "Let's keep the pressure up, Fox!" Falco encouraged, "We've got to at least keep them occupied until Captain Falcon and Raiden catch up!"
  They continued firing lasers rapidly, but Wariod simply pulled out a tennis racket and knocked them right back, forcing the Arwings to sharply maneuver to dodge their own attacks.
  Mr. Zero jumped to the very edge of his seat upon witnessing what happened next. "Don Genie is not taking this aggression sitting down! He looks to be throwing some kind of small object...!! Holy moley! It's a black hole bomb!"
  Don Genie had indeed opened his cockpit in order to toss a small, orb-shaped projectile, which sailed through the air towards the two Arwings and expanded into what could only be described as a purple-black whirlpool of gravity and despair.
  "Shoot!!" Fox snapped his finger. "We're going to be stuck in this black hole until the effect wears off. Sorry, Captain..."
  "Let's leave 'em a little parting gift from us at least, eh Fox?" Falco suggested, drawing his laser pistol and encouraging Fox to do the same.
  "Yeah... sounds like a plan!" Fox agreed.
  The two of them held their guns together, forming an almost T shape, pointing at the Fat Shark together as if one weapon. "Jackpot!" they both shouted in unison, firing two massive bursts of laser energy which spiraled together like double helix strands. they mixed to form a single beam, which was fast enough to catch Wariod off guard. It hit him in the side of the face and pierced right through his head while making a Dragoon noise, hitting one of the thrusters on the Fat Shark, slowing it down a bit. The attack would have left a gruesome mark on Wariod, considering it shaved off the skin around the area. However, instead of musculature or blood underneath, Wariod seemed to have active, pulsating, kaleidoscopic patterns of colorful energy, kind of like a battle background from a Mother game. It was clear that Wariod's insides had become nothing but pure, uninhibited energy, so strong and dangerous that Wariod's body was struggling to contain the power.
  "The rest is up to you guys!" Falco entrusted with a thumbs up.
  "This is our chance!" Raiden shouted excitedly, prepared to speed up his sprint towards their target.
  Captain Falcon held out his arm as if to figuratively hold back Raiden. "Look again. He's already running over one of the healing pads on the track and fully repairing his vehicle. And Wariod is more cautious than ever, after taking a hit like that."
  "How do you propose we approach the situation, then?"
  The pilot of the Neo Blue Falcon held his chin as he weighed their options. "Instead of rushing right into the chaos, I'm thinking the opposite. Perhaps we could hold a steady position somewhere in the middle and wait for a while. We can let the others fight it out and thin the heard, making it easier for us to push forwards near the end of the race. If we do that, I can conserve my boost meter, too, and go all out during the final stretch."
  "Do you think we'll be able to catch Genie by playing so passively...?" Raiden questioned.
  Captain Falcon gritted his teeth before tightening his clench on the wheel. "I'm planning on going all out. The question is just when to really floor it."
  The duo held strong to their courage and prepared themselves for the dramatic final challenge to their journey.

  ---Music: Selector---

  "So, gentleman," Bullet Bill spoke aloud to his co-hosts, "We're getting very close to seeing the exciting conclusion of this Grand Prix, there's one subject that we've yet to bring to the table, that I'd be dying to hear your opinions on: do either of you have any predictions on how this Grand Prix is going to end?"
  "Now there's a saucy discussion to be had!" Mr. Zero smirked, "However, impartiality is a duty of mine. My role here is to facilitate the great sport of F-ZERO to billions of fans across the cosmos. But you two, as our esteemed guests, are free to express whatever opinions or predictions you'd like!" he explained before talking incredibly rapidly and quietly, "HowevertheseopinionsinnowayreflectthoseoftheFZEROGrandPrixstaff."
  Shy Guy nodded, "Well, I'll go ahead and pitch my predictions really quick. I definitely see Don Genie and Wariod somewhere in the winner's circle tonight. Despite their questionable tactics, like it or not, they've been putting forth a spectacular performance today, and have consistently maintained strong positioning near the lead."
  "They've had an undeniable presence on the progression of this Grand Prix. I anticipate a rather high placement from them, as well," Bill began, before shifting, "But, I really have a feeling in my gut that they may not make it that far, if I'm frank."
  "I thought I was Frank," Shy Guy scratched his head.
  "Well, yes, probably," Bill confirmed, "But, what I'm sayin' is this: those two have made a lot of enemies out there today. This is a very dangerous sport, and I can easily see an angry rival attempting to put the Fat Shark out of commission before the end of this race."
  "I see, I see! Interesting how you can read the atmosphere so astutely. How about your own predictions?"
  "I'll be the first to accept the cliche'd assertion today: Captain Falcon and Raiden are very strong contenders to stand on the victory pedestal," Bill spoke with a warm, uplifting nostalgia to his tone, before leveling back to reality. "However, this is fifteen years later: Captain Falcon might not be guaranteed first place this time around. Many skilled pilots have been practicing for over a decade to try and take that spot from him. So there's no telling who could come out on top this time around. With that being said, I cannot deny that Captain Falcon has skill for this sport that no one out there has quite matched yet. "
  Shy Guy acknowledged, "Fifteen minutes ago I may have been frustrated enough to call you a fake fan for picking the obvious choice when someone as invested in the series as you should have easily had a different favorite among the forty-some pilots from GX and AX out there. But I realize now that you appreciate what Captain Falcon means for F-ZERO, and how important it is that someone like him carries on the spirit of this race."
  "Especially if Nintendo isn't going to carry on that spirit anymore themselves!" Bill raised his voice, both in frustration towards what they were discussing, as well as excitement that someone was agreeing with him.
  "That being said," Shy Guy pressed on, "I'm psyched to see this exciting event reach its conclusion today. There's no way to know if there will be another Grand Prix after this one, and this may very well be a swan song for F-ZERO... but I think that makes it all the more important that we enjoy it for what it is: a race that you won't see anywhere else. A high-octane, futuristic blitz on the tracks that, regardless of whether you like it better or worse than competitors, offers an undeniable, one-of-a-kind mark on the racing genre that no other game will ever match."
  He was almost ready to shed a tear. "You finally understand me on a video game opinion..." he sniffled, and put his arms around Shy Guy. "You're the best, bro."
  The audience collectively "Awwwwww!"'d in response to the camaraderie shared between the two. "Wow! Fantastic!" Mr. Zero cheered, "I'm glad to see that, no matter what happens out there on the circuit today, we'll all go home with smiles on our faces! Now, let's get back to the race, as things are really heating up as we near the end!"

  ---Music: Final Destination (Melee)---

  "This is it, folks," Mr. Zero hyped up, "We're almost done with the Outer Space sector... and the next phase of the race is right in front of our eyes! Lakitu, can you give us a shot of what's to come?"
  The cameraman gave a thumbs up, and the scope of his camera was pointed and focused in the far distance.
  The racers were coming up on one of the most iconic fixtures ever created. A floating, purple platform. Perfectly flat. Perfectly balanced. It stood, aligned with space and time itself. The only ever-present terrain in the whole galaxy. It was none other than Final Destination, from the Super Smash Bros. series. It had been a timeless battleground for glory and honor, and the location where champions were born among the raging fires of trials and tribulations.
  Bullet Bill began the usual commentary. "Fat Shark has a solid lead on the other racers right now. Coming up in second, though quite a distance behind, are a cloud of various pilots and machines, dueling amongst themselves to leave the pack and push forward."
  Some sort of vehicle which looked like three cars stacked on top of each other did indeed make its way out of the chaotic mosh pit of cars, and Shy Guy took notice. "Here comes the F-ZERO piloted by Silver the Hedgehog, Blaze the Cat, and Vector the Crocodile. Yes, Vector the Crocodile, without the other Chaotix."
  Vector found himself the focus of a close up, courtesy of Lakitu's camera. "Where the h\*ck are Espio and Charmy? How in the material fuck did I end up here?" he asked, at a genuine loss for an explanation.
  Coming up at a fast speed were the Black Bull and Blood Hawk once again, having caught up. Black Shadow laughed menacingly. "Come out and face us, Falcon! You can't get rid of us that easily!" he shouted as he leveled his speed with the unfitting trio, and with a mighty side swipe, send the car flying off of the Twinkle Circuit.
  "OOF," Bill called out as if he himself had been hit, "The trio of misfits took a hard hit and went off the track completely. However, they are safe, at least. As you may remember, F-ZERO GX was developed by SEGA as well, which you see by the group of tiny Chao piloting the UFO that picks up racers after they've fallen. It was a very cute cameo that I enjoyed greatly. And it was a clever and funny use of character properties in fitting ways! Unlike teaming up Vector with Silver and Blaze in the new Sonic racing game, a decision which confuses and angers me."
  Captain Falcon made a tight judgment call on the spot. "Raiden! Everyone's distracted. Let's go, now!"
  "Affirmative," Raiden nodded, prepared to run as fast as his legs would take him.
  The Neo Blue Falcon fired off a tremendous boost, easily breaking free from the conglomerate of racers. The speed of the vehicle took Black Shadow and Blood Falcon completely off guard, getting between the two of them. "Not so fast, bitch!" Blood Falcon cackled, ready to attack the Neo Blue Falcon. However, Raiden dashed right in front of the Blood Hawk and cut it off. This distracted the pilot just enough to open him up to Captain Falcon's imminent attack.
  Captain Falcon swerved back and forth to both sides and began smashing the cars of his two rivals. His unfortunate targets were hit by side swipes, bounced against the guard railing, and sent right back to the center of the track where Captain Falcon hit them with another swipe once again. It was like watching a ping pong pro smashing them back and forth against the walls, and he continued this action until both Black Shadow and Blood Falcon's vehicles were wrecked beyond repair. The two flaming husks of metal skidded against the track, sending sparks everywhere until the weight of the metal slowed them down to a halt. Black Shadow hopped out of the remains of his car and began kicking it angrily. Both he and Blood Falcon heard the very slight sound of Ghost Rider's theme coming in from the far distance as their vengeful pursuer caught up, and they both sighed with reluctant acceptance.
  "Just a little bit more, Captain...!!" Raiden encouraged, for indeed the Fat Shark was within both of their sights.
  "Almost there!" Mr. Zero shouted, getting more and more pumped up, "This is going to be it!"
  They got closer, and closer, and closer, and soon, the Final Destination was right in front of them.

  ---(Music End)---

  They crossed right over it and left it in the dust. It was the same size as it always was in Smash, so it took a fraction of a second for the 2000 km/h machines to pass over it. It wasn't actually the final area, just a transition point. The pilots simply pushed through, going into the fifth, and last, sector of the Grand Prix.

  ---Music: Escape---

  "So ends the fourth sector of this track!" Mr. Zero spoke in a congratulatory tone, "Now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you have all been waiting for... the dramatic fifth sector!"
  The setting of space slowly gave way to what became a dimly lit, concrete tunnel of extreme width and size.
  "The final stretch of this race will be none other than the Supply Route Tunnel underneath Shadow Moses Island, from Metal Gear Solid!"
  "Alright, Raiden," Captain Falcon announced, "Looking at the course map, it looks like this final road is one long, straight path from here to the finish line. Catching up to the Fat Shark is going to be a true test our limits."
  Don Genie unexpectedly opened up a communication channel between the two of them. "I'm impressed you have gone this far in your pursuit of me. I'm not blind, you know; I've seen you tailing me this entire race. So, who is it you're working for? The police? Or did I get another bounty placed on my head that I'm not aware of, perhaps? Ah. It's of no concern to me. Whatever your intentions, you aren't going to catch me, or win this race. Not with those pathetic top speeds, at least. I've paid good money to make sure the Fat Shark is uncontested in feats of pure velocity. Heh heh heh..."
  Raiden was by this point moving his legs so rapidly that it was hard to see them, and he was pushing off from the ground so hard that each step left a small crater. "Then we'll just have to move a little faster!" he taunted with cocky confidence.
  Captain Falcon gave thumbs up, and he began acutely drifting a little to one side, and then the other. He did this rapidly, making a very subtle serpentine style of movement. He began abusing the acceleration physics to take advantage of GX style snaking, one of his most advanced--yet difficult--techniques. They reached game-breaking speeds, and gained on the Fat Shark as fast as they could.
  Their bursts of acceleration were so unexpected that it got through Don Genie's composure, and he began to sweat nervously. "Er... uh... damn...! Wariod, do something about this, will you?"
  Wariod said nothing and simply tapped Genie on the shoulder and pointed.
  "Wait, look!" Bullet Bill narrated, "The third place car is coming up fast! It's... the Fire Stingray!!"

  ---Music: The Hot Wind Blowing (Instrumental)---

  Samurai Goroh's car sped just a little past the Neo Blue Falcon, and immediately maneuvered in front of the machine to block its path. While the Stingray was on auto-pilot, Samurai Goroh and Karate Joe both stood atop it with crossed arms, staring backwards and looking right at Captain Falcon. "There's no way I'd let you forget about me that easily, Falcon. We settle this, here and now!"
  Captain Falcon stared down his eternal rival as he put on his vehicles auto-pilot, and slowly he opened the cockpit of his own F-ZERO to stand atop it. Raiden looked at him with surprise and concern. "Captain, what are you...?"
  "This is one battle I'm not going to run from. I think I owe Goroh a proper duel, after all."
  Goroh smiled, pulled his katana, and took a mighty leap from one car to the other, attempting to attack Falcon on his own car. The captain in blue performed a fancy dodge and rolled away from where Goroh landed, and he began pulled off incredible foot work to dodge the oncoming assault of blade slashes. "I'm so sick of your cocky attitude! You're always trying to be better than everyone else! Bounty hunting, racing, popularity... you're always kicking everyone else down and taking all of the glory!" Goroh shouting, sounding like he was taking things more and more personally.
  As Falcon continued his graceful dancing to avoid more attacks, he noticed his partner leaping through the air to his aid. Raiden jumped as fast as he could and managed to parry one of the many slashes, once again clashing blades with the samurai. "You again, eh? Guess I could use a warm up," Goroh pushed off.
  "There's not enough room on top of this car for three people," Captain Falcon commented, and he leapt to the Fire Stringray. Before he could even turn around and react, he found himself socked in the face, the stomach, the face again, and uppercut in the jaw. Karate Joe went to town on Captain Falcon, beating his ass with attacks timed to the percussive movements in the song playing in the background. When Karate Joe got in rhythm, he was nearly unstoppable. Captain Falcon wiped blood from his lips and tried to regain a proper fighting stance. "Guess I can't exactly ignore you, either."
  Raiden and Goroh were, surprisingly, evenly matched. The cyborg had run almost the entire race while only refueling once, so his systems were already overheating and he was no longer running at 100%. "You're not bad. But let's see you handle my drunken master style!" Goroh threatened.
  Goroh spent about ten seconds downing an entire bottle of vodka, bottoms up, and then began attacking Raiden with movements and slashes which were legitimately unpredictable. He wasn't using any actual style, he was just drunk to the point of near death and swinging his blade angrily. Either way, the cyborg had trouble keeping up.
  A new robotic voice called to Raiden. He turned to see his faithful robotic canine companion, Blade Wolf. The normally quadrupedal dog was this time sprinting bipedally on a pair of beefy human legs, which is how he could keep up. "RAIDEN. IT SEEMS YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE. HERE, TAKE THIS ASSIST TROPHY."
  Blade Wolf tossed the helpful item to his master. "Thanks! I owe you one!" Raiden cheered as he held the trophy over his head. It cracked dramatically, summoning... Guile, from Street Fighter!
  Guile just kind of... crouched down in place and didn't really move or actually doing anything. Goroh and Raiden stared at him for quite some time, and he didn't look like he was going anywhere.
  "Heh. Looks like your trump card was a dud," Goroh laughed arrogantly, before resuming his attacks. The two swordsman continued dueling dramatically, and Goroh began to force Raiden to his knees under the pressure of the assault.
  "Raiden!" Captain Falcon shouted, though he couldn't afford to take his eyes off of Joe, or the fight would end instantly. On top of the Fire Stingray, Falcon fought to the best of his ability, but he just couldn't adapt to the flawless cadence that Karate Joe put into his fighting style. Any attempted retaliation was either blocked or countered instantly by the kung fu expert. Captain Falcon barely held his footing enough to keep himself from being knocked off of the car completely.
  Back on the Neo Blue Falcon, Raiden looked like he was at his limit. He panted deeply as blood trickled from the sides of his mouth and his robotic limbs smoked as if they had ignited, but he never stopped parrying strikes, and would fight until the very end. Finally, Raiden found himself hit by a strong kick which caught him off guard, sending him sliding across the top of the machine, almost bumping into Guile, who was still crouching and doing nothing. Goroh chuckled with confidence as he slowly took his walk towards Raiden's sprawled out on the floor like a corpse, ready to finish him off. It looked like the fight was all over, until Goroh accidentally stepped just a little too close to where Guile was standing, setting off the assist trophy like a land mine.

  ---Music: Guile Stage (Ultimate)---

  "FLASH KICK!!!" the street fighter in army camo shouted, doing a back flip kick and sending Samurai Goroh so high into the air that it distracted even Captain Falcon and Karate Joe. Guile combed his sick ass hair style on his head and disappeared in a bright flash as the assist trophy ran out. Seeing an opportunity to change dance partners, Captain Falcon smirked and did a fast and powerful running jump in the direction of his own car. He jumped high enough that he met Goroh at the peak height the samurai was kicked up to. With a mighty show of force, Captain Falcon unleashed one of his strongest attacks, the knee of justice. The brutal strike was so powerful that it sent electrical shockwaves into the air as it sent the samurai flying away. Goroh just narrowly caught onto one of the back fins of the Neo Blue Falcon and held on with one arm for dear life as he attempted to recover from the pure daze the strong attack put him into.
  Captain Falcon held out his hand to Raiden and helped him to his feet. "You don't look so great," he commented, "Here, take this," he offered, handing Raiden a brisk and refreshing can of Georgia Tea, which the cyborg drank a few sips of and instantly healed.
  Captain Falcon turned around, as Karate Joe had now leapt from the Stingray to follow Captain Falcon. "Now, if you'll excuse me... I've got one other problem to attend to."
  This time, however, it was a new fight. The music had changed and everything. The tempo of Guile's theme threw off Karate Joe's rhythm completely, and as the two of them traded blows, Captain Falcon gained a decisive upper hand. It turns out the one thing that Guile's Theme didn't go with was Karate Joe's fighting style. Captain Falcon slowly overpowered the karate master and finally grappled him in a powerful hold, only to spin around and throw him off the back of the F-ZERO, where he grabbed on to Samurai Goroh's leg, with Goroh struggling with all his might to keep grip with the added weight pulling him down.
  The Fire Stingray reacted accordingly and slowed down to go around behind the Neo Blue Falcon where it was able to catch its two pilots once they let go of the blue car. They laid sprawled out on top of the vehicle, breathing deeply, having been soundly defeated in their duels. Goroh struggled to talk. "Fine... you win... as usual... go grab the victory... jerk..."

  ---(Music End)---

  Captain Falcon thought deeply to himself. He thought about Goroh's earlier words of spite and sadness, and how his constant years of winning had deeply wounded his rival. He thought about his core values, and what the race meant to him. He thought about his mission, and weighted the importance of what he was there to accomplish. He compared the glory-driven Captain Falcon he felt he had to be, and the heroic Captain Falcon he truly wanted to be. Finally, he spoke. "I'm sorry to say, but I've got more important things to do today than win first place."
  Goroh was so shocked by the comment that he instantly sobered up and his head shot up, regardless of the pain he was in. "HUHWAAAAA??!"
  The Falcon pair heard their communicators go off, and began to listen to Uncle Tito who evidently had something imperative to tell them.

  ---Music: Forbidden Depths---

  "I've got big news, bruddahs. Big, and really bad, news," he spoke with urgency in his voice. "We found out what Don Genie's main goal is. He wants to get his hands on the last remaining Chaos Emerald from the Sonic animated canon, the Chaos Emerald Ring. Not only that, but the remains of VHSs of 90s Sonic cartoons which we thought were destroyed, actually make up part of the consistency of the Grand Prix Championship Belt due to a mixup. If he wins this race, he'll be able to revive the remains of the shows and be able to discover the locations of the remaining Chaos Emeralds! The very galaxy hangs in the balance of this fight, bruddahs!"
  Captain Falcon turned to face forward, and he realized the Fat Shark was still a good distance away. Raiden put his hand on Falcon's shoulder as the two of them looked forward at the Fat Shark, and they both steeled themselves with determination. "Well, Tito," Falcon spoke back, "I guess this is the big finale, huh?"
  Tito laughed a bit in face of the danger. "I suppose so, bruddah. But I know you two. I know you two can do this. Just remember... we're ohana. All of us. Got it?"
  They heard another voice which sounded similar to Raiden's whisper in the background. "No, almost. You missed the most important word of the catchphrase."
  "Hmm. I thought I got it right that time," Tito whispered back.
  "Here, I'll show you," the voice offered, before suddenly gaining clarity and volume as if the second person were closer to the microphone than before. "Listen, you have to say it like this. 'Just remember... we're ohaha. All of us. Got it memorized?'"
  "Ohhh. I see, bruddah. I'll get it memorized right for next time," Tito promised, before giving his agents an explanation. "I almost forgot to tell you. Axel from Organization XIII is somehow inexplicably alive again, and he's gonna work part time at the agency with me. Also, he has a keyblade now."
  Falcon and Raiden both smirked. Falcon hopped right back into his car to resume driving, and Raiden took a fighting stance on top of the cockpit in preparation for their final battle, with his tuxedo jacket (which he has still been wearing over his shoulders this entire time; it hasn't fallen off yet, somehow) flapping wildly in the wind. Raiden lifted his sword to the side of his head, pointing it horizontally and pointed forward while lowering his stance in preparation for combat.
  The pair zoomed forward, leaving Goroh behind as the samurai tried to process what he had just heard. "Falcon... you're trying to save the world, is that it...?"
  "I'M ABSOLUTELY SPEECHLESS!!" Bullet Bill screeched at the top of his lungs, fanboying his heart out, "HE DID THE KNEE OF JUSTICE!!! HE DID THE KNEE OF JUSTICE!!!!"
  "Whoa... wow! Holy...... WOW!!" Shy Guy expressed himself. "I never thought I'd see the dramatic conflict between Falcon and Goroh come to such an exciting conclusion! It looks like the Neo Blue Falcon is back on track, and speeding up as fast as it can to catch the Fat Shark!"
  "Captain Falcon and Raiden better look alive!" Mr. Zero warned, "Wariod is floating outside of the Fat Shark, facing them and waiting! This isn't going to be an easy fight!"
  Sure enough, the farcical fusion floated in the air, now so powerful he was emitting radiation which changed the color of the air around him to a hazy, threatening mishmash of colors. The fusion's voice had leveled out to the point where it was extremely calm and almost emotionless in its tone. "I don't see what it is you are trying to accomplish, today," Wariod said to them casually, just like a regular discussion, "We're going to win, and then we're going to be rich. You don't have a chance."
  Wariod still held the same, ever present, unblinking smile on his face, despite the fact that the entire area around one of his eyes was gone in favor of more and more of the disgustingly colorful energy within his body. Parts of his skin around the rest of his body had begun to chip off like pieces of paint to reveal more and more colors, and it was clear that the unfathomably powerful energy within him wouldn't be contained much longer.

  ---(Music End)---

  "Hey, bruddahs," Tito called out from the open radio channel, "Especially you, Wariod. I've got someone on the line who would like to have a word with you."
  All who were listening could tell it was the voice of Waluigi. "H-Hey, guys. I just wanted to have a quick word."

  ---Music: The Fading Light---

  "Wario, Toad... why are you guys doing this?" Waluigi questioned with emotional pressure emphasizing his words.
  Wariod slowly, and finally, closed his eyes, as he entered a state of deep contemplation. "You wouldn't understand, buddy."
  "Understand what?" Agent W asked his two former friends, "You're fighting for the wrong side, and all I want to know is why."
  Wariod shook his head. "You've always been on the straight and narrow. Doing the right thing and fighting for the right causes. It's never been that easy for us. No matter how hard we try, we can never find a place to fit in. A place where we are accepted for who we are, rather than judged and contempted for our faults."
  "Wariod... you don't have to do this! Come back to the US-MKJIO!" Waluigi pleaded, "We're all here waiting for you!"
  Wariod shed a single tear which was just as vibrant as the energy within him, leaving a moist streak of rainbow trickling down his face. "Wake up and smell the Amazy Dayzees. There's no where left for us, Waluigi. We both know that. No where will ever accept the problems we cause or the greed we can't control. We're going to win this race and use the money to get the hell out of all of your lives forever. You won't be bothered by us anymore."
  Waluigi was silent for a time. "Look, let's just-"
  "No," Wariod's voice echoed loudly through the tunnel, "Stop making this harder than it needs to be. And have Tito call off his agents. They don't don't need to get involved with this. They don't have to die."

  ---Music: Takin' on the Shagohod---

  Anyone present could feel the sheer amount of power Wariod began to produce with his presence alone.
  "I have to ask you," Raiden spoke up, with confrontational tone, "Are you in on Genie's plans? Do you know he wants to conquer the universe with the Chaos Emeralds?"
  "Well, I didn't until just now, I suppose," Wariod shrugged. "Not like it matters, anyway. That plan sounds stupid. He's weak. He needs me to accomplish anything in the first place. And for that, I will be taking the prize money in return."
  "Is money all that matters to you?!" Raiden shouted back, with concerned distress.
  Wariod nodded his head rapidly like an excited animal. "Yes."
  Captain Falcon rolled his eyes. "Yeesh. That's almost an impressive amount of greed, even from you, Wario," he commented, more of an insult than a compliment. "But I'm not about to let some money grubbing psycho stop us from saving the world. How about you put your money where your mouth is? Just your team and mine, 2-on-2."
  "Ah," Wariod sighed peacefully. "The age old question of which will give in first. Me, an immovable object, and you two, skinny wet noodle men."
  "Tch," Raiden sneered, "Well, if it's an unstoppable force you want, then we've got that covered too. You ready to hit the booster, Captain?"
  "Been waiting the whole time for you to ask," the pilot below chuckled.
  "Try all you want, but I'm not going anywhere," Wariod spoke as if it were an undeniable fact.
  "If you're not going to get out of my way, then I'll just have to make a shortcut... right through you!"
  "If your feeble sword was even half as sharp as your tongue, I may be worried," Wariod brushed aside without any concern. He crossed his arms in front of his body in an X shape, and then swung them both out to his sides, expanding blades from his arms made out of a pure combination of raw energy, garlic funk, and intensely emoted nihilistic futility. He lifted one of his arms horizontally across his chest like a sentai pose, and then made a clean cut in a perfectly horizontal line. His slash cut through the dimension itself, cleanly cleaving through time in space and nearly decapitating Raiden, who managed to duck in time. The attack so so wide that it struck at the entire tunnel, carving marks into the sides of the concrete and leaving purple, space-like chaos in place of what used to be physical material. Wariod continued swinging his arms with careful precision, sending out trans-dimensional shockwaves as sharp as razors which could gouge anything they cut out of existence.
  Captain Falcon handily dodged the oncoming attacks one at a time with his quick thinking and his even quicker maneuvering. He was not only dodging the attacks effectively, but he was able to find openings to push forward. He boosted towards Wariod at every chance he got, bringing in Raiden close enough to attack counter attacks of his own. The high frequency blade, the blood red murasama Raiden inherited from an old enemy, was just strong enough and steady enough to match the energy weapons on even ground. This galaxy-ending confrontation was a seamless mixture of both a high-speed chase and an heart-stopping duel between master swordsmen.
  Don Genie watched carefully as the forces of nature clashed closely behind his vehicle, which he made sure to keep a fair distance away from the action. All he would need to do would be bide his time until the finish line was reached. As he kept a close eye on his rear view mirror to observe the events of the battle behind him, he also secretly waited for an opportunity to do away with the issue that Wariod had become to his plans. He reached underneath the dashboard of his vehicle to grasp at a tool which he had taped to a hidden location for just such an occasion. Within his grip he felt the cold steel of the handle of a gun.
  Each time Raiden took a swing at Wariod, he was able to slice away more and more of what remained of the original human's skin and features. A slight scrap against the lower leg left an indigo incision underneath what used to be flesh, while a deep cut to the side of Wariod's gut gave way to a queasy under layer of pale orange. With one particularly decisive strike, Raiden was able to remove Wariod's right arm, lopping it off cleanly. In a matter of moments, as if shapeshifting, the crimson energy within Wariod's body expanded from the stump left by the cut, reforming into a new arm of roughly the same size and proportion, but composed of pure energy. Each second Wariod grew more powerful, the energy within his body cycled through the entire color spectrum, as if a violent tempest ravaging a painter's easel.
  Wariod raised his new immaterial limb and it changed into alien shapes as he let loose a volley of energy projectiles, which came out rapidly like a stream of bullets from a machine gun, and just barely missing the Neo Blue Falcon as its driver took precise measures to avoid the oncoming attack. The energy pellets hit the ground with such speed, force, and quantity that they unearthed absurdly large clouds of dust. The speed of the racing vehicles was enough force to temporarily carry the dust along the air with them, so the Neo Blue Falcon disappeared into the murky haze as if it were a smokescreen.

  ---(Music Fade Out)---

  "Well, that's one less complication to deal with," Don Genie spoke to Wariod through their comm device.
  "Hmph," Wariod passively grunted as if he wasn't concerned at all. "Just hurry up and cross the finish line already so we can put an end to this pointless partnership."
  Wariod flew up to the side of the Fat Shark's cockpit. The glass opened up as Wariod assumed his partner was letting him back in the car, but was instead met with Don Genie pointing a pistol directly to his head. "Really, I couldn't agree more."
  By coincidence, this was the same moment the Neo Blue Falcon escaped from the dust clouds in time to see what was happening.
  Wariod wasn't sure what sound was louder, the click of the trigger or the bang of the shot.

  ---Music: (Spoilers) (Starting at 0:11)---

  The bullet pierced through Wariod's head, sending the man backwards in slow motion. He hit the wall of the tunnel with a loud crash, bouncing off of it to fall and begin rolling along the ground.
  Don Genie closed the window of his cockpit once again and lit a cigar. "And that makes two less complications," he chuckled.
  Wariod floated back into the air, pulsating uncomfortably and looking like his body was ready to burst.
  "Bruddahs, Wariod's power level is unstable! Get outta there before he blows!"
  Raiden looked ahead with determination on his face. "Agent W. Those two were your friends, right?"
  "Yes! They were my closest chums! I can't believe they're going to die!!!" Waluigi shouted, nearly in tears.
  Raiden gave his drink to his partner. "Captain, hold my Georgia Tea."
  As Wariod expanded and swelled with irregular lumps, glowing brightly and threatening to explode at any moment, Raiden jumped to meet Wariod in the air and he entered blade mode once again. Raiden's katana seemed to surpass the speed of light as he shredded Wariod into a million pieces. Preparing for one final strike, he held his sword above his head and brought his steel perfectly down the center of Wariod, bisecting him vertically.

  ---(Music End)---

  The fusion popped like a balloon, and the final cut separated Wario from Toad, with the two of them seemingly unharmed. The cyborg and the two formerly fused friends all landed on the top of the Neo blue Falcon. Wario landed on his stomach, out cold, Raiden on his feet gracefully, and Toad onto his back, staring at the sky. Moving only his arm, Toad lifted his nicotine pill bottle and prepared to guzzle it down. However, after a moment of hesitation, he simply tossed the bottle away and sighed.

  *To Be Continued...*