The Pink Panther Glamour Problem

## The Pink Panther Theme VS. Barbie Girl

That was a TERRIBLE Moment in Mattel's Life!

This is about Barbie, a Children's Doll, and The Pink Panther, A Title Character.

**Previous**

## Info

This is about "**Barbie Girl**", a song by the Danish dance-pop group Aqua. It was released in 1997 on the album *Aquarium*. The song was written by Søren Rasted, Claus Norreen, René Dif, and Lene Nystrøm, and it was produced by Johnny Jam, Delgado, Rasted, and Norreen. It was written after Rasted saw an exhibit on kitsch culture in Denmark which featured Barbie dolls.

The Plot was like This:

*While René Dif as Ken was driving, He meets Lene Nystrøm as Barbie. He asks her if she can go for a ride. She says she can and plans to party around town.*

## Intro

* **Title:** Mirisch Films Inc. Presents *[A Pink Flash of Light appears, revealing the Pink Panther]* Blake Edward's Pink Panther In The Glamour of Pink. Pink Panther Theme by Henry Mancini, Produced by David H. DePatie & Friz Freleng

## Music Video

* *[Shows Barbie Sailor Moon on a street when The Inspector arrives in his car. "Barbie Girl" By Aqua Plays]*
* **The Inspector:** Hi, Barbie.
* **Sailor Moon:** Hi, Ken!
* **The Inspector:** Do you wanna go for a ride?!
* **Sailor Moon:** Sure, Ken!
* **The Inspector:** Jump in...
* **Sailor Moon:** ♪I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation.♪
* **The Inspector:** ♪Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪
* **Sailor Moon:** ♪I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation. I'm a blond bimbo girl in a fantasy world, Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly.♪
* **The Inspector:** ♪You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink, Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky...♪
* **Sailor Moon:** ♪You can touch, you can play, if you say, "I'm always yours." (uu-oooh-u, uu-oooh-u) I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation.♪

* **The Inspector:** ♪Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪

* **Sailor Moon:** ♪Ah-ah-ah-yeah♪

* **The Inspector: ♪**Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪
* **Sailor Moon:** ♪Uu-oooh-u, uu-oooh-u♪
* **The Inspector:** ♪Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪
* **Sailor Moon:** ♪Ah-ah-ah-yeah♪
* **The Inspector:** ♪Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪
* **Sailor Moon:** ♪Uu-oooh-u, uu-oooh-u. Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please, I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees♪
* **The Inspector: ♪**Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again, Hit the town, fool around, let's go party♪
* **Sailor Moon: ♪**You can touch, you can play, if you say, "I'm always yours." You can touch, you can play, if you say, "I'm always yours."**♪**
* **The Inspector:** ♪Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪

* **Sailor Moon:** ♪Ah-ah-ah-yeah♪

* **The Inspector: ♪**Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪
* **Sailor Moon:** ♪Uu-oooh-u, uu-oooh-u♪
* **The Inspector:** ♪Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪
* **Sailor Moon:** ♪Ah-ah-ah-yeah♪
* **The Inspector:** ♪Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪
* **Sailor Moon:** ♪Uu-oooh-u, uu-oooh-u. I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation. I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation.♪
* **The Inspector:** ♪Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪

* **Sailor Moon:** ♪Ah-ah-ah-yeah♪

* **The Inspector: ♪**Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪
* **Sailor Moon:** ♪Uu-oooh-u, uu-oooh-u♪
* **The Inspector:** ♪Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪
* **Sailor Moon:** ♪Ah-ah-ah-yeah♪
* **The Inspector:** ♪Come on, Barbie, let's go party!♪
* **Sailor Moon:** ♪Uu-oooh-u, uu-oooh-u.♪ Oh, I'm having so much fun!
* **The Inspector:** Well, Barbie, we're just getting started.
* **Sailor Moon:** Oh, I love you, Ken!
* *[An Explosion is shown, followed by color bars, along with a beeping noise.]*

## Cookie Monster's Vault

* **Cookie Monster:** *[wakes up]* What? Oh... I have got to get my hands on a Cookie! And no one's gonna stop me! *[runs out of his house, to the Breadline Bakery, putting his face up against the door]* There it is! *[Zooms into the Dessert Vault through the window. Cut to scene where he walks up to the Dessert Vault, wide-eyed, and opens the door to reveal hundreds and hundreds of Candy, Cakes and Cookies.]* Holy cake! I don't know where to start. *[picks up a cookie]* All that matters is that it's just you... and me... and nobody...
* **Grover:** Cookie Monster? *[Cookie Monster's face drops]* Is that you?
* **Cookie Monster:** *[turns around]* Grover? Uh, uh, uh... what are you doing here? *[points at Grover. While pointing at him, he notices he's showing the cookie in his hand and puts it behind his back again]*
* **Grover:** I always come to work at 3 AM. This is when I count the chocolate chips. *[takes off his scarf]* What are you doing here?
* **Cookie Monster:** Uhh, I forgot my...
* **Grover:** And why is the dessert vault open?
* **Cookie Monster:** Oh, I thought that...
* **Grover:** And why are you holding a cookie behind your back?
* **Cookie Monster:** I... I... I... no, I didn't do...
* **Grover:** And why are you acting so nervous? And why are you sweating so much? And why do you look so hungry? And... *[grins]*
* **Cookie Monster:** No, no, wait... it's not what you think. Th-this is a big misunderstanding. You've got to believe me, I... Listen, I am telling you... *[jumps up and down]* You better listen to me, Grover!
* **Grover:** You like Cookies, don't you, Cookie Monster? *[Cookie Monster begins to sweat then slams the door on Grover]*
* **Cookie Monster:** Yes! Yes! I admit it, Grover! I *love* Cookies! *[eats two cookies]*
* **Grover:** I knew it all along, Cookie Monster. No one can resist a Sweet! *[Cookie Monster eats a bunch of Dessert in all sorts of ways, even a dozen at a time]* Cookie Monster! How many are you eating? Cookie Monster! *[Cookie Monster keeps eating all the Dessert in the vault, Pac-Man style]* Cookie Monster, you can't eat all those dessert at one time! Cookie Monster! *[As soon as he ate dozens of Dessert]*
* **Cookie Monster:** What's gonna happen? Am I gonna blow up?
* **Grover:** No, worse, it'll go right to your thighs!
* **Cookie Monster:** My thighs? *[pan down showing Cookie Monster's enlarged thighs, Cookie Monster looks at thighs]*
* **Grover:** ...and then you'll blow up! *[As the bakery explodes, Grover's* *alarm wakes him up from his dream]* Oh, good morning, Kids.
* **Off-Screen Kids:** Good Morning Grover.
* **Grover:** Say, Do you Know who is Sailor Moon?
* **Off-Screen Kids:** Oh we Know!
* **Grover:** Right! She's a Japanese super-heroine who is the protagonist and titular character of the *Sailor Moon* manga series. Seriously, Who can make a Music video of Barbie Girl about Sailor Moon?

## The Inspector's Punishment

* **The Inspector:** *[In a Room, He is tied in a chair]* Hey! What's the meaning of this?! Détache-moi cet instant!
* **Violet:** Shut up! *[slaps The Inspector]*
* **The Inspector:** Holy frijoles, what the heck is going on?!
* **Violet:** I said "shut up!," you blockhead! *[slaps him again]*
* **Lucy:** Oh, Violet, seeing you slap The Inspector like that is just too horrible to watch!
* **Violet:** No, that's not The Inspector. That's Ken. *[The Inspector is trying to get out of his chair]*
* **Lucy:** Oh, yeah.
* **Violet:** And the only way to deal with these barbie types is to find out what they know.
* **Lucy:** Right. *[runs up to The Inspector and then slaps him]*
* **Violet:** Lucy, you got to ask him a question first.
* **Lucy:** Oh, yeah. What color is my underwear? *[slaps him again]*
* **Violet:** Lucy, let me handle this. *[turns a light on The Inspector]* Where's The Inspector?
* **The Inspector:** *[confused]* What are you talking about? I'm The Inspector. *[Violet slaps him again]*
* **Violet:** We can do this all night if you want. Where's The Inspector?
* **The Inspector:** I'm The Inspector.
* **Lucy:** Where's The Inspector?
* **The Inspector:** I'm The Inspector.
* **Violet:** Where's The Inspector?
* **The Inspector:** I am The Inspector! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am!
* **Lucy:** This is one stubborn Ken.
* **The Inspector:** *[confused, then angrily yells]* What?! *[his yelling knocks over the light and Lucy]* You think I'm Ken?!
* **Violet:** We don't think; we know.
* **The Inspector:** That's the silliest thing I ever heard! I am The Inspector!
* **Violet:** *[walks over to Lucy]* He's not cracking. We'll never get it out of him this way.
* **Lucy:** I got an idea. *[pokes Violet's nose]* Keep an eye on him, Violet. Don't fall for any of his robot tricks. *[runs out and returns later]* If Ken won't tell us where The Inspector is, maybe one of his little friends will. *[holds up a pinata]*
* **Violet:** Lucy, uhh, that's a donkey.
* **Lucy:** Yeah, but I saw The Inspector talking with his girlfriend before. He called it his "little buddy."
* **Violet:** Oh, really? Put it on the table, Lucy.
* **The Inspector:** You're gonna interrogate my donkey? Tu es fou.
* **Violet:** We're just gonna see what your "little buddy" knows. *[Lucy sets the pinata donkey on The Inspector's desk. Violet holds up a spiked bat]*
* **The Inspector:** *[panicking]* No, wait! What are you going to do with my donkey?!
* **Violet:** Where's The Inspector? *[shot of the donkey]* Not talking, eh? *[breaks the donkey with the bat]*
* **The Inspector:** Nooo!
* **Lucy:** I guess it didn't know anything.
* **Violet:** Go get the bull. *[Lucy gets a bull-shaped pinata then puts it on The Inspector's desk]*
* **The Inspector:** No, not me bull. *[Violet breaks the bull and then Lucy sets a pig-shaped pinata on the desk]* No! *[Violet breaks it with the bat. Lucy picks up a peacock-shaped pinata and puts it on the desk]* Well, actually, that one was a for a Birthday. *[Violet breaks it]* Nooo!
* **Lucy:** *[while bringing the Pink Panther]* This is the last friend, Violet.
* **The Inspector:** No, not the Pink Panther! I raised it myself. I got it when it was just a little kitty. *[crying]* No! *[sobbing and then sobbing louder]*
* **Violet:** I thought you said panthers can't cry.
* **Lucy:** I also said they couldn't love.
* **The Inspector:** *[crying]* I loved it like it was me own.
* **Lucy:** Uh, at least he's not laughing.
* **The Inspector:** Oh, I remember the laughs we used to share! *[sobbing]*
* **Violet:** Lucy uhh, how did that movie of yours end?
* **Lucy:** The movie? Oh, yeah! The ending was great! Turns out there weren't any barbie girls after all. It was just their... *[slows down, as he realizes his mistake]* imagination. *[chuckles nervously, timpani noise, as if he anticipates Violet to be angry at him, then checks his watch]* Hey, it's time for dinner. *[runs out while Violet and the Pink Panther smiles nervously at The Inspector and then grabs a broom and sweeps the broken pieces on the floor. The Inspector becomes infuriated]*
* **The Inspector:** *[growling. The background shakes]* **Violet!**

* **Ending: "That's All Folks!"** AMirisch-Geoffrey-D-F Production, Released Through United Artists.

## Why Barbie Girl Sucks?

On December 5th 2000, Mattel sued MCA Records, the recording company of Aqua, saying the song violated the Barbie trademark and turned Barbie into a sex object, referring to her as a "Blonde Bimbo."

They alleged the song had violated their copyrights and trademarks of Barbie, and that its lyrics had tarnished the reputation of their trademark and impinged on their marketing plan. Mattel also claimed that the cover packaging of the single used "Barbie Pink", a trademarked color owned by Mattel.

MCA contested Mattel's claims and countersued for defamation after Mattel had likened MCA to a bank robber.

The lawsuit filed by Mattel was dismissed by the lower courts, and this dismissal was upheld. Mattel requested review by the Supreme Court of the United States, but its petition for certiorari was denied.

In 2002, Judge Alex Kozinski ruled the song was protected as a parody under the trademark doctrine of nominative use and the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. He also threw out the defamation lawsuit that Aqua's record company filed against Mattel. Kozinski concluded his ruling by saying, "The parties are advised to chill." The case was dismissed.

Despite being successful, the song is despised by many and appears to be the **most annoying** song of 1997.

*Yes, I Know. The Song Came out the same year South Park Premiered. It was used in "Cock Magic" (Season 18, Episode 8) during Randy's Magic Show. Better watch the episode "Death" (Season 1, Episode 6) Instead. (Yep. Death did kill Kenny)*

If You say Aqua's Barbie Girl sounds annoying, go listen to the Pink Panther theme instead or watch the very first Pink Panther Cartoon which heavily uses the theme. (*The Pink Phink*, 1964)