My summer vacation

by Abraham Øystein

 For my summer vacation I went and met my heroes. That's right chumps, I'm talking about the Barnacle Gang a.k.a. the Stormguard. Before you get your stockings in a knot, no, I did not join the wanted criminal organization. It all began when my friend, Borok told me something he heard from this guy who heard it from the cousin of the wife of the cleaner of Bluecoat uniforms. The Drunken Pheonix was raided and no longer. I left the Temple district and headed for an adventure with every I owned in my bag. Of course I never entered since I'm only 16 but, fortunately the Dawnfather smiled down on me one summer's day when I saw a some eccentric old man trotting through the streets of Old Town. I decided to stake out this old library in Old Town because I the old guy run and in and out of it in a hurry followed by some familiar blonde dude. I ran up to the dude and played it totally cool. Using my awesome charm, I was able to join a special trial-mission for membership to the Stormguard (I didn't join though so chill). Turns out the blonde dude was Newt, who is kinda my equal but a little less since I was candidate for member which is better than intern. We stopped by the a scientist lady place in the Warrens. Trent is the worst name I've every heard, by the by. The lady was kinda creepy and got all touchy and tried talk to me about a test IN THE SUMMER. The old dude took out his pet goldfish and gave it to the lady. I also left my bag of stuff and blood (weird lady was weird). I decided to leave my armor because it was so dorky and heavy.

So me and the B-GANG headed out and met up with this strange blue lady, with a kind of cool accent, Rohan was her name. The Doc's old friend from 1,000 years ago (not an exaggeration). Then I found out about A fatality (YOOO! OLI AND HOWELL ARE STONE STATUES!?!) and to rescue we went on our way to the Crimson Tower. Now, before you go on I need the reader to know that I am great and was able to rescue them so don't worry about these Stormguard members (bu that might be illegal idk).

On the way we saw weird stuff but I'm trying to block that out. After we arrived at the door and me and the bow-lady busted through with pure STRENGTH. Newt made light balls and we went downstairs. And what was downstairs? A smelly maze. A labyrinth was downstairs and we were lost for a while, not gonna lie. Eventually we found another odd gal (I've never met so many strange girls in my life) who was behind bars. She had been in the tower for the past month and was tired of living (so sad). Metra was her name I think. I, genius that I am, interrogated her and found that they kept the statues in the vault. We freed her despite the fiendish vibes she gave off. She was in the service of Lolth, the spider queen and wanted to rescue her petrified brother. The old doc warned her not to betray us. He warned her.... I WARNED HER :'( .

So we went down stairs, following Metra, fought some gobs gobs (goblins for the uncool) and made it to the basement or something. Then we heard the rumbling of something BIG, SLIMY and PINK. Using the the dirt of the ground we found the vault antechamber and escaped the monster..... I just remembered.. the doc promised me some awesome armor.. whatever. So in the room we solved the elemental mysteries and we opened the way to the vault!

So we went in got Howell and Oli and le––PSYCHE! Metra turned into a yellow spider monster and jumped us. So we killed her.... she could have been bae but she was bad so RIP. So after that we went in got Howell and Oli and le–– PSYCHE! We saw the light of Thaum come and Newt started drawing a teleportation circle (VERY SLOWLY I MIGHT ADD). Thaum was like >:D and we were like <:O and the tentacle warlock came out like 🤪. Tentacle wand made more tentacles and started shooting lasers. That's when the Doc made a GALAXY BRAIN play and grabbed a frick'n mirror and reflected a deadly laser. I tried to tackle the skull and I missed which was whack. But I dodged like 11 lasers at point-blank range so I was still super cool. Newt finished the circle, we grabbed Howell and Oli statues and dipped... Except Newt died :( . But Doc made another universe brain play and swung from the tentacles and dragged Newt through the circle.

We popped out inside the ARCANUM and made a big 'ol scene. A super magic lady was like: :o . And Newt started turning into a zombie. Magic lady saved him cause she was his teacher or something, idk but i protected the statues. She stopped the zombification and sent us home, like, MY HOME. Father revived Newt and it was so awkward because I had ran away from home earlier that day but I returned home before dinner so... yeah, super lame. We then went to the WILDGROVE where Mother Sable unpetrified the BARNACLE BOYS. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Howell then was like: "stay in school, kid"

And that's what *I* did over summer vacation.

Teacher's Mark: Next time, don't lie on your assignments Mr. Oystein. 0/100