Summer Stupidity

Summer Stupidity is a series where Red and Blue reviewed various cities and movies. It was made during the summer of 2019.

## City Reviews

### NEW YORK

Reviewer: Red

Transit: *7/10; All the trains had these weird occult fliers on them, advertising a spiritual consultant, and I don't know what's up with that.*

Sightseeing: *9/10; Save a tourist attraction, climb a really big rock instead.*

Weather: *2/10; It's not New York's fault, but I'm still salty.*

Food: *10/10; Look at all these cheesecakes!*

People: *11/10; I wish every city worked like this.*

Final Score: *Pretty good. I know it's not for everyone, but I really like it and it's definitely not like anywhere else. Give it a visit if you like crowds, loud noises and spending money. Or if you don't. I usually don't like any of those things, but go figure.*

### LONDON

Reviewer: Blue

Transit: *8/10; The layout of the city is pretty cool, but I can't shake the feeling that it was all built on the systematic exploitations of colonialism.*

Sightseeing: *9/10; I wish that every city was this consistently bonkers with its architectural mood swings.*

Weather: *1/10; I'm worried that if I go back my weather karma will cash out by striking me with lightning.*

Food: *8/10; The food is so expensive, I ran out of money and literally starved to death for the second half of my visit, but I'm still gonna say worth it.*

People: *7/10; Londoners are great when they open up and all laugh at the abyss together, but their coziness with primordial fear makes me worry there's a Lovecraftian Elder God just chilling somewhere underneath the tube lines, so I'm glad I visited before Brexit releases Ialdogorth the Devourer upon the UK.*

Final Score: *EXCITING. Nothing the city does is half-assed, and I love it. Give it a visit if you like architecture, parks, and imperialism. Be sure to avoid it if you're water-soluble.*

### BOSTON

Reviewer: Red

Transit: *4/10; Why does Boston hate grids so much?*

Sightseeing: *9/10; Any city that can build buildings when the streets don't go straight is a city that's earned my respect.*

Weather: *Hell yeah, 10/10. (dogs!)*

Food: *8/10; I like all seafood, Dunkin', and tea shops!*

People: *9/10; Pretty sweet overall, but why does Harvard look like someone dropped colonial Williamsburg from orbit?*

Final Score: *Really nice, but I wish I can get around easier. It's not easy to navigate but if you don't have anywhere to be that's not actually a problem. Boston is a great city to just chill. Give it a visit if you like cozying up in a tea shop with a pastry assortment and never leaving.*

### CHICAGO

Reviewer: Red

Transit: *7/10; Might bump the score up if they done down the stabbing a little. Don't get stabbed.*

Sightseeing: *9/10; Don't call Sears Tower the Willis Tower. You're technically right but nobody cares and the Chicagoans get pretty condescending about it. Just stop.*

Weather: *3/10; Why does anyone live where the air hurts their face?*

Food: *10/10; Get high tea at the Drake Hotel. It's only like fifty bucks and you'll never feel fancier.*

People: *9/10; Television lied to you, Chicago's not even in the top 15 cities by crime rate, and if you'd feel safe visiting Baltimore, I've got some bad news.*

Final Score: *Surprisingly well-balanced. It's got plenty to do and sights to see without being overwhelmingly dense or crazy. Hit up Chicago if you like steak wearing three or more layers nine months of the year and seeing pays before they hit Broadway.*

### COPENHAGEN

Reviewer: Blue

Transit: *10/10; Guys, please cut it out, you're making the rest of the world look bad.*

Sightseeing: *0/10; Guys, cut it out. This isn't fair anymore.*

Weather: *8/10; I didn't see a single frost giant. What gives?*

Food: *6/10; Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on Nyavn.*

People: *7/10; What did you monsters do to those innocent consonants?*

Final Score: *Ideal. The city works so well and has so much cool stuff, it's honestly kind of insulting. Give it a visit if you like bicycles, architecture, and the 1700s. Steer clear if you're allergic to new languages or are Swedish.*

## Media Reviews

### GODS OF EGYPT

Reviewer: Red

*What if the Egyptian gods were real and also robots?*

Final Score: *3/10; It's a really bad movie but a beautiful screensaver. Watch it with the sound off and make up whatever plot you want.*

### GLADIATOR

Reviewer: Blue

*Gladiator is a movie about exactly what you expect. None of it is accurate, but all of it is awesome.*

Final Score: *8/10; Come for the patricide, stay for the sick-ass helmets.*

## List of Summer Stupidity Episodes

### Cities

* Boston
* New York
* London
* Chicago
* Copenhagen

### Movies

* Gladiator
* Hercules
* Gods of Egypt