Ich Bin Ein Orb

## Episode Order

### Previous

My Mother Looks Nothing Like That Squirrel (T1.08)

## Description

I Am Orb. We Are All Orb. Welcome to Avernus.

(*This episode first appeared online at [1] as part of our official WOTC adventure!*)

## Synopsis

Bethanee and the Beef Babes have been betrayed and banished into Avernus the first of the nine circles of hell. They arrive in a garbage pit and fail to dodge more oncoming garbage. The party quickly discovers that the garbage food in Avernus tastes awful and everything is filled with a bit more dispair. They scan the horizon and see nothing. They see a floating ship above in the sky where Zariel rules over all of Avernus.

Bethanee gets up, dust herself up and walks west gaining directions from the wee sun. Freezo loots the garbage pile. Bushu attempts to keep the party together. Freezo talks to Bethanee giving her 10 words to explain how she’s feeling before she pushes her feeling back down inside.

Freezo is accosted by Ravens only he can hear who point out his flaws. He kills them but more return to remind him of his past failures. Bushu examines the tree and finds nothing magical and asks Freezo to snap out of it. Freezo hears the rumbling in the distance a Wagon drives up full of four imps with some In the wagon for more.

Bethanee attempts to intimidate the imp but he’s not impressed by her swinging a chain over her head. Phillimp the Imp who is a scavenger works searching for useful things in the garbage tip. They offer people servitude or  a ride for an exorbitant fee. Bushu asks for a quick ride to a teleportation circle to get out of hell. The Imps laugh at him at the preposterous proposition. Freezo trades the cursed potion of clairvoyance for a ride to see the boss.

Bethanee attempts to use command on Phillimp to gain more favourable terms however nothing happens. The holy symbol of Pelor was removed by King Priest Midus is Elysium so Bethanee has lost her divine magic.  Kit. They all jump on the bus. Dust whips up everywhere Bushu doesn’t need goggles as he has a nicotating membrane

Freezo shows off his sun sapphire to Phillimp and asks if he knows  how to remove his Bloodstrife curse. The imp cannot remove it. It he’ll introduce Freezo to someone who might. Bushu alters himself to his pseudo dragon form above the bus to act as a lookout. Bushu spots that they’re being followed by Shadow Demons (100ft away). Phillimp puts his foot down causing Freezo to fall off the side of the bus. Kit tries to turn the bus back causing the bus to turn on its side causing everyone to fall off except Big Ted.

Bushu and Kit head back to the bus and hide. Bethanee heads to the harpoon flinger but fails to hit any of the shadow demons. Phillimp tries to right the bus, Rocco helps Bethanee to reload the Harpoon gun. Kit shoots his crossbow at the Shadow Demons (40ft away) as they approach. They resist the bolts. Bushu uses acid splash which is not resisted. Freezo casts witch bolt at the Shadow Demons. Bethanee fires a bolt enthused with blue magic from Rocco and hits one of the Shadow Demons. Phillimp rights the bus as the Shadow Demons arrive attacking Freezo knocking him out.

Bushu casts chromatic orb damaging the Shadow Demon in front of him. Bethanee shoots a bolt at the Shadow Demon by Freezo’s corpse. Kit using his lightning javelin to attacks the Shadow Demon as Bushu blinks out of existence.

Bethanee picks up Freezo and bundles him onto the bus leaving Rocco who impales one of the Shadow Demons killing it. The final Shadow demon heads for Freezo, Kit uses his double ended Scimitar to destroy the Shadow Demon on top of Freezo.

Bushu searches Freezo’s bag, finds his potion of heroism and pockets it. He uses one of his own healing potion to revive Freezo. They all jump on the bus. Bethanee compliments Phillimp on fixing the bus. Phillimp let’s Bethanee drive the bus down the dunes.

## People

### Beef Babes

* Bethanee Smiles
* Kit Gingerson
* Freezo F Freezopherson
* Bushu

### Non-Player Characters (NPC's)

* Mocking Ravens
* Phillimp
* Big Ted
* Rocco
* Agro
* Humphrey P Bear

## Themes, tropes and running jokes

* Baffling Reference for our International Listeners: "Greg Tito's going to yank this like Doug molway on channel 9."
* *Dip in the Bag*: Freezo gets a *cursed* Potion of Clairvoyance from the garbage pile.
* Ben briefly DM's and makes it canon that the sun is made of wee and the cloud of ones.

## Quotes

* Hing: "Is there an office?" - Dave: “Yes, there’s an office. Why don’t you go to the office?” - Hing: “I go to the office!” - Dave: “It’s a mirage.”
* Ben: "Hang on, I can do this DM'ing... *There’s a sun, but it’s made of boiling wee. You look up at the clouds, but it’s a cloud made of bones, and there’s a tree with rude words on it*".
* "Bethanee’s 10 words: Pelor has abandoned there is no light left. Sad."
* "I know what it’s like to be abandoned by a god. Mystra abandoned me..." - "Didn't you try to kill Mystra?" - Ben, to Hing
* “Don’t just ask what the orb can do for you. Ask what *you* can do for the orb!”
* Dave: "Wait your therapist only lets you talk 10 words at a time?!" - Hing: "My therapist isn’t currently returning my calls right now"
* Ben: "For clarification, I hate to tread on your toes..." - Dave: "Oh no, go ahead." - Ben: "... it's not small like the school bus." - Dave: "... you don't do it often, but I thought that was an actual clarification."

## Table Talk

* If Gribbits had sinned irredeemably and died, he would have ended up on the banks of the river Styx.
* Ben states that 'Wee is Umami'. Whatever that is.