Leni Invents a New Game and Lucy Joins In

This is a parody of the Winnie-the-Pooh story "In Which Pooh Invents a New Game and Eeyore Joins In".

There was a stream on the outskirts of Royal Woods that was almost a river, and there was a broad track, almost as broad as a road, leading from Hazeltucky to Royal Woods, but before it could come to Royal Woods, it had to cross this river, so where it crossed, there was a wooden bridge with wooden railings on either side. Lucy and her older siblings could watch the river from looking over the top rail, and the twins could too if they wanted, but it was more fun for them to stand on the bottom rail so they could lean right over. Lisa could look over the bottom rail if she wanted too, but it was more fun for her to lie down and get her head under it, and this was the only way in which Lily could watch the river at all, because she was too small to reach the bottom rail, so she would lie down and watch it, as it slipped away very slowly.

One day, when Leni was walking towards this bridge, she was trying to make up a poem about fir cones, because there they were, lying about on each side of her, and she felt poetic. So she picked a fir cone up, and looked at it, and said to herself, "This is a very good fir cone and something ought to rhyme to it", but she couldn't think of anything. And then, this came into her head suddenly:

*Here is a myst'ry*

*About a little fir tree.*

*Walt says it's his tree,*

*And Mom says it's her tree.*

"Which doesn't make sense," said Leni, "Because Mom doesn't live in a tree."

She had just come to the bridge, and not looking where she was going, she tripped over something, and the fir cone jerked out of her hand and into the river.

"Dang it!", said Leni, as it floated slowly under the bridge, and she went back to get another fir cone which had a rhyme to it. But then she thought that she would just look at the river instead, because it was a peaceful sort of day, so she leaned over and looked at it, and it slipped slowly away beneath her... and suddenly, there was her fir cone slipping away too.

"That's funny," said Leni, "I dropped it on the other side and it came out on this side! I wonder if it would do it again?" and she went back for some more fir cones.

It did. It kept on doing it. Then she dropped two in at once, and leant over the bridge to see which of them would come out first, and one of them did, but as they were both the same size, she didn't know if it was the one which she wanted to win, or the other one. So the next time she dropped one big one and one little one, and the big one came out first, which is what she had said it would do, and the little one came out last, which was also what she had said it would do, so in her mind, she had won twice... and when she went home for dinner, she had won thirty-six and lost twenty-eight, which meant that her score was... and that's when she got stuck, since she couldn't subtract twenty-eight from thirty-six.

And that was the beginning of the game called Leni-Sticks, which Leni invented, and which she and her siblings play on the outskirts of Royal Woods. But they played with sticks instead of fir cones, because they were easier to mark.

Now one day, Leni, Lana, Lori, and Lola were all playing Leni-Sticks together. They had dropped their sticks in when Lori said, "Go!" and then they had hurried across to the other side of the bridge, and now they were all leaning over the edge, waiting to see whose stick would come out first. But it was a long time coming, because the river was very lazy that day.

"I can see mine!", cried Lola, "No, I can't; it's something else. Can you see yours, Lana? I thought I could see mine but I couldn't. There it is! No, it isn't. Can you see yours, Leni?"

"No," said Leni.

"I think my stick's stuck," said Lola, "Lori, my stick's stuck. Is your stick stuck, Lana?"

"They literally always take longer than you think," said Lori.

"How long do *you* think they'll take?", asked Lola.

"I can see yours, Lana!", said Leni suddenly.

"Mine's a sort of blackish one," said Lana, not daring to lean too far over in case she fell in.

"Yes, that's what I can see. It's coming over to my side."

Lori leaned over further than ever, looking for hers, and Lola wriggled up and down, calling out, "Come on, stick! Stick, stick, stick!" and Lana got very excited because hers was the only one which had been seen, and that meant she was winning. "It's coming!", said Leni.

"Are you sure it's mine?!", said Lana excitedly.

"Yes, because it's black. A big, black one. Here it comes! A very big, black... Oh! No, it isn't, it's Lucy."

And out floated Lucy.

"Lucy!", cried everybody.

Looking very calm, very dignified, with her arms crossed, came Lucy from beneath the bridge.

"It's Lucy!", cried Lola, terribly excited.

"Indeed," said Lucy, getting caught up in a little eddy and turning around three times.

"I didn't know you were playing," said Lola.

"I'm not," said Lucy.

"Lucy, what are you doing there?" said Lori.

"Waiting for somebody to help me out of the river," said Lucy.

"But, Lucy," said Leni, "What can we-- I mean, how shall we-- do you think if we--"

Lucy didn't reply.

"She's going round and round," said Lola, laughing.

"And why not?", said Lucy defensively, then added, "I didn't want to swim at all today."

There was a moment's silence while everybody thought.

"I've got a sort of idea," said Leni at last, "but I don't suppose it's a very good one."

"Me neither," said Lucy.

"Go on, Leni," said Lori, "Let's have at it."

"Well, if we threw stones and things into the river on one side of Lucy, the stones would make waves, and the waves would wash her to the other side."

"That's a very good idea," said Lori, and Leni looked happy again.

"What if you hit her by mistake?!" said Lana anxiously.

But Leni had gotten the biggest stone she could carry, and was leaning over the bridge, holding it in her hands.

"I'm not throwing it, I'm dropping it, Lucy," she explained, "And then I can't hit you. Could you stop turning round for a moment, because it muddles me rather?"

"No," said Lucy.

Lori began to feel that it was time she took command.

"Now, Leni," she said, "when I say, 'Now!', you can drop it. Lucy, when I say, 'Now!', Leni will drop her stone."

"Thanks for the info."

"Are you ready, Leni? Give Lana a little more room. Get back a bit there, Lola. Are you ready?"

"No," said Lucy.

"Now!", said Lori.

Leni dropped her stone. There was a loud splash, and Lucy disappeared...

It was an anxious moment for the watchers on the bridge. They looked and looked... and even the sight of Lana's stick coming out a little in front of Lori's didn't cheer her up as much as you would have expected. And then, just when Leni was beginning to think that she must have chosen the wrong stone or the wrong river or the wrong day for her idea, something black showed for a moment by the river bank... and it got slowly bigger and bigger... and at last it was Lucy coming out.

With a shout they rushed off the bridge and pushed and pulled at her, and soon she was standing among them on dry land.

"Oh, Lucy, you're wet!", said Lana, feeling her.

Lucy shook herself and said, "That's what happens when you've been in a river."

"Well done, Leni," said Lori, "That was a good idea of ours."

"Washing you out like that."

"Actually," said Lucy, "I dove and swam to the bank so I wouldn't get hit by the stone."

"Well," said Lana, "At least you made her get out, so in a way, you did get her out, Leni."

"How did you fall in, Lucy?", asked Lori as she dried her with Lana's handkerchief.

"I didn't," said Lucy.

"But how--?"

"I was *jumped at*", said Lucy.

"Ooh!", said Lola excitedly, "did somebody push you?"

"Somebody *jumped at* me. I was just writing poetry by the side of the river, when someone jumped at me and shouted."

"Oh, Lucy!", said everybody.

"Are you sure you didn't slip?", asked Lori.

"Of course I slipped. If you're on the slippery bank of a river, and somebody *jumps at* you loudly from behind, you slip. What did you think I did?"

"But who did it?", asked Lola.

Lucy didn't answer.

"I expect it was Luan," said Lana.

"But, Lucy," said Leni, "Was it a joke or an accident? I mean--"

"I didn't stop to ask," said Lucy.

"And where was Luan, if that *is* who it was?", asked Lori.

But before Lucy could answer, there was a loud noise behind them, and through the hedge came Luan herself.

"Hello, everybody!", said Luan cheerfully.

"Hello, Luan!", said Lola.

Lori assumed her authoritative persona and said solemnly, "Luan, what happened just now?"

"Just when?" said Luan -- and she said it a little uncomfortably, but that wasn't evidence in itself, since everyone was a little uncomfortable when Lori addressed them in that manner.

"When you jumped at Lucy and she fell into the river."

"I didn't jump at her."

"You jumped at me," said Lucy.

"I didn't really. I had a fly in my throat, and I happened to be behind Luan, and I said, 'Grrrr-oppp-ptschschschz'."

"Why?", said Lori.

"I don't mind Luan jumping," said Lucy, "but I don't see why she should jump at *me*."

"I didn't jump at you; I coughed!", said Luan crossly.

"It's all the same at the bottom of the river," said Lucy.

"Well," said Lori, "All I can say is... Well, here's Lincoln, so he can say it."

Lincoln came down from Royal Woods to the bridge, feeling very happy, and he thought of watching the river, but then decided against it upon seeing the crowd of sisters.

"It's like this, Lincoln," began Lori, "Luan--"

"No, I didn't," said Luan.

"Well, anyway, there I was," said Lucy.

"But I don't think she meant to," said Leni.

"She just is jumpy," said Lana, "and she can't help it."

"Try jumping at me!", said Lola eagerly, "Lucy, Luan's going to try me. Lana, do you think--"

"Yes, yes," said Lori, "we don't all want to speak at once. The point is, what does Lincoln think about it?"

"All I did was coughed," said Luan.

"She jumped," said Lucy.

"Well, I sort of joffed," said Luan.

"Hush!", said Lori, holding up her hand, "What does Lincoln think of it all? That's the point."

"Well," said Lincoln, not quite sure what it was all about, "I think..."

"Yes?", said everybody.

"I think we all ought to play Leni-Sticks!"

So they did. And Lucy, who had never played it before, won more times than anybody else, and Lola fell in twice, the first time by accident and the second time on purpose, because she suddenly saw Rita coming from the town and she knew she'd have to go to the doctor's for a checkup anyhow. So then, Lori said she'd go with them, and Luan and Lucy went off together because Lucy wanted to tell Luan how to win at Leni-Sticks, which you do by "letting your stick drop in a twitchy sort of way", and Lincoln and Leni and Lana were left on the bridge by themselves.

For a long time, they looked at the river beneath them, saying nothing, and the river (obviously) said nothing either.

"Who knows if it was on purpose or by accident," said Lana.

"What was?"

"Her scaring Lucy into the river. You never can tell with Luan," said Leni.