Super Mario Odyssey is a Game (Blog 6)

February 25, 2017

Hello people and welcome! Since your queen (also known as the ruler of this wikia) is a fucking lazy bum, don't expect anything for at least a year. That being said, I decided to return and make a blog, also known as the official 6th blog since for some reason Peachalina decided to make this an *unofficial* blog.

So anyways, I will be reviewing Super Mario Odyssey and what I think before the game releases sometime in the far future since 10 months is basically an eternity. And NO! I won't be talking about that crappy game to the right of me since I want to show you how Nintendo are ripoff bastards and stole the idea of naming their game after something that already existed before.

As much as I'd like to review the upcoming Grand Theft Mario game, I won't since I have better plans for this blog.

HERE is the Super Mario Odyssey game that I grew up with. Okay, not grow up with it, but I knew before this game was announced like sometime around July 2009. THIS is the *real* Super Mario Odyssey. Also known as *Super Mario Odyssey: A Journey Through Time and Space*. And what the fuck is this shit? Original game? I never knew Nintendo created this game. It's a ROM hack duh! Oh wait, it also has the © symbol, never mind.

So yeah, the game was created in 2004 and apparently fast forward to 2017 it's still in its demo phase, according to this screen. So what the fuck? Lazy developers can you actually be arsed to finish your crappy ROM hacks? I wanna play a finished game, not an unfinished game and the 2017 Super Mario Odyssey game is turning out to be another Sonic '06 by the looks of it.

So looking at the game and wtf is this? It's literally Super Mario World 2! Look at the map layout and everything. I thought it was a 3D Mario "sandbox" open world place whatever, not some 2D platformer. Those knockoff bastards! Just when I thought that these developers were too advanced for our time and this is the shit they produce?

Oh, and this game has story. The story is that Mario and his friends want to get away from Bowser and his minions and then stuff happened. The ellipsis added doesn't add to any dramatic effects if you don't bother telling us what happened and then you throw us to a world map screen. Way to fail you stupid devs your story makes no sense and it's flawed and you can't even bother telling us if Peachy's kidnapped? No wonder it never got out of its demo phase.

Expect to be doing more of the same shit for a while until you get to the castle level where the next level is Under Construction. Also known as "We're sorry, but we never bothered continuing with our ROM hack. Hope you enjoy!" excuse. Actually, disregard that since that's really only for the castle's secret exit.

HERE's the real pathway that actually leads to progress. So what's the plot? Is Mario collecting Yoshi eggs again for dinner like in Super Mario World or wtf? I thought the original vague plot involved Mario and his friends trying to get away from Bowser? Not this egg hunting bullshit. Oh, and he fights Iggy in the first castle so Bowser's minions obviously already spotted Mario. Whoops! Plot flaw.

Oh what the hell, there's no need to beat a dead horse. After the first few crappy levels, the game starts to pick up a little bit and you can see some bit of effort in redesigning the Koopas and the backgroud. Mario's inside a secret base(?) in this level.

    Some levels also happen to have interesting concepts like the rain here, but it rips off Castlevania to some extent. Not-so-original after all then. After all, this is a SMW ROM hack and the plot itself is confused and inconsistent as me trying to decide what my favorite food is.

After playing like 18 levels later, this happens. OMG FUCK YOUUUUU! I was expecting gameplay stuff and then I get a message block telling me that the game's incomplete? So now that we got this done for no reason, there's basically nothing you can do in this game anymore, other than it's over before it was supposed to be over. Unless of course you want to redo a level for whatever reason and find more construction sites of lazy devs not bothering trying to add more levels. Come on, 2004, you had 13 years!

So now that we got such a bad taste experience that'll never get out of my mouth, even with dish soap, I hope you enjoyed it, cause I sure as hell didn't. Would'hve been great if it was a complete game, but it's not so it's a terrible game. I'm giving a 6.9/10.

Oh well, well I guess that's that for this abominable game. 2017 Super Mario Odyssey preorder cancelled, btw.