2015 Power Rankings-Week 11

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## Introduction

A few weeks ago someone told me I care more about Fantasy than I do about things happening in real life. So I got the idea to do a themed rankings where the superlative is “which current events headline are you?” Could’ve been funny. For example, I read this headline yesterday: “Drunken NJ man accused of assaulting victim with a sandwich at Virginia pizza restaurant, driving away.” That describes Patrick’s team perfectly. But anyway, now that World War III has started that theme sounds depressing as fuck. Still, I will not let the terrorists win! The Power Rankings play on (albeit in average non-themed fashion).

## A Moment of Thanks

I pride myself in running one of the most diverse Fantasy leagues on the planet. We have men, woman, Christians, Jew (Jared), atheists, Scientologists (assuming), Fantasy Godologists, black hair, blonde hair, no hair, talented, talentless, tall, short, firemen, Fire Goodells, dads, sons, winners, losers, tan, pale, beige, white, off-white, floral white, cream white, vanilla white, ghost white, Dutch white, eggshell white, Roddy White, Rhode Islanders, Ocean Staters, East Coasters, New Englanders, the list goes on and on. It’s sort of like a United Nations. No Giants fans, though. We do not negotiate with Giants fans. So I’d just like to take a moment to be grateful that our melting pot of a league is so successful.

## New This Week

* All-Time Combined Franchise Point Totals - Combined points from all regular season and playoff games.
* All-Time Regular Season Franchise Points Against Totals - list of teams with all the points ever scored against them in the regular season. Surprise, GaroppoblowMe and Papa's Posse are on top. But actually surprising is when you look at the average per game points against. It's The Shotti Bunch getting screwed there.
* All-Time Post-Season Franchise Point Totals - Pretty straight forward.
* Highest Single-Season Point Totals - Who has had the best scoring seasons in LOC history?
* Lowest Point Totals by a Losing Team - This list is pretty much the lowest single-game totals ever put up in the LOC. There have been three games in which a team failed to break 100.

## Join the Club

Congrat to FOJ, who becomes the third member of the 13,000 point club.

Paddock 9 becomes the 6th member of the 12,000 point club.

The Shotti Bunch becomes the eighth member of the 11,000 point club.

Reign Maker, your day has come. You are the eighth member of the 20-loss club. They still have the highest winning percentage in league history, but The Shotti Bunch is creeping up behind them.

## The Rankings

### 1(2). ma ma momma said

Magic Number: 1

It’s Eli Manning’s show. After PeyPey pooed his pants this weekend the QB controversy was put to sleep once and for all, with Eli being momma’s starter for the duration. Cause for concern? Well the Giants happen to play two of the NFC’s top defenses in week 15 and 16, the semi-finals and championship weeks. Momma has sneakily become very G-Men heavy. But fear not, this team is still devoted to their balanced passing game and looks to be a lock for a playoff bye. They’ve been consistently great all year after their two week slump to open things up.

### 2(1). GaroppoblowMe

Magic Number: 1

Shoutout to Patrick for the jinx of the century during Sunday’s Giants game.

Happy birthday man! I hope you choke on your cake.

Well, thus ends the Patriots Trio for GaroppoblowMe. Let’s take a quick look at the stats:

What that basically says is 28% of the starting players were accounting for 39.34% of the team’s points. Pretty significant loss for GBM to have Edelman out for the next six weeks. By my math, there are only six weeks actually left. Despite having a playoff spot all but locked up, the byes are still fair game for six teams, so they’ll have to hope guys like Hurns and Barnidge continue to produce from the flex spots. To secure the one seed they may have to win out, which means taking down Goliath this weekend. At least they were able to knock off #FreeOJ, moving to 7-3 against them while improving to 7-3 on the season.

### 3(4). The Shotti Bunch

Magic Number: 1

How long can Langford last? His role in replacing Forte has been nothing short of extraordinary but Forte will slowly be making his return and be fully operational by playoff time. Can one of Denver’s RB’s step up with Brock at the helm for the Broncos or will the early season loss to Foster finally catch up to them? Their battle with top-seeded GBM looks to be the matchup of the season with TSB currently firing on all cylinders.

### 4(7). TEAM MANBEARPIG

Magic Number: 3

Sweep the leg! Wait don’t! Great, now it’s broken again. Did anyone think this team actually stood a chance at winning another game after their five game losing streak during which they looked like a reanimated corpse? They finally have a team that seems completely healthy, with three top ten QBs all ready to fill in that starting spot. Julio Jones and Antonio Brown are a nasty combo when they both get back on the field together in week 12. Could they actually pull this off?

### 5(6). Deez Sons of Bitchez

Magic Number: 2

Well look who is back in the playoff hunt!

Is Dee back to her winning ways? This was their first game over 200 points since October 19, a whole month ago. Since then they’ve gone 0-2 against playoff teams and 2-0 against non-playoff teams. With Edelman out, Amendola now appears to be their biggest asset. Dee sits right in the middle of having a bye spot and missing the playoffs, but we’ll know definitively which it will be after the next two weeks. They’ve beaten Fire Goodell this season by a total of 203.44 points.

### 6(3). FreeOJ

Magic Number: 3

This team has been wildly inconsistent. The difference between their week 10 score and their week 9 score was 134 points. The difference between their week 9 score and their week 8 score was 117. The difference between their week 8 score and their week 7 score was 75.41. I’m sensing a pattern here. If that’s the case look for them to roll against ma ma momma said and then get (once again) curb stomped by Shotti Bunch in week 12. The key to their success? They are 0-4 when scoring under 200 points and 5-1 when scoring over 200. So just score over 200 and you win. So simple a caveman could do it. But then this isn’t a caveman we’re talking about here.

### 7(5). Reign Maker

Elimination Number: 3

Speaking of choking.

Four wins just isn’t going to cut it in 2015. Still no clue as to whether 6 or 7 wins gets you a spot or if this could this be the first year that a 5 win team makes the big dance, but four is a definite out. Better to play it safe and sweep the remainder of your games if you’re Reign Maker. After breaking out in weeks 6-8, Stephanie Diggs has become a bit of a disappointment. Just the fact that her production isn’t tied into the success of the Vikings is cause for concern. However, the production out of McAteer in Luck’s absence has been a lifesaver. Could that pickup make the difference? One thing is for sure, this three game losing streak matches the longest of the franchise’s five year history. A lot is riding on this week’s game.

### 8.(9) Paddock 9

Elimination Number: 2

Shooot heeerrr. Shoooot herrrr. Far be it from me to question how a team that put up 279 in week 7 can put up 118 in week 9 and continue to suck in week 10, but that’s sorta where we’re at. Where did it all go wrong for Paddock 9? It’s hard to point at a single defining moment. The Diggs/Cooks trade actually ended up in their favor, and even the Ivory/Sproles trade really didn’t effect them that much (Ivory has had hip issues and underperformed most weeks). Maybe it starts from the top. Matty Ice has gone cold, and Bortles hasn’t been the savior for any team like he was for Reign Maker earlier this year. At this point there’s only one thing left to do...go full heel.

### 9.(8) Papa’s Posse

Elimination Number: 2

Zzzzz. No, no, don’t let me wake you. Papa’s Posse’s team is full of sleepers, and I don’t mean that in the sense of them being sneaky good. I mean they seem to have gone to sleep on the season. PP was flirting with the history books this weekend after saying early on that they had a good feeling about the matchup. They almost managed to post one of the lowest scores...ever. I think maybe what he was feeling was his season finishing up the digestive process and getting ready to head right into the toilet. They are one of the few teams that has no control over their destiny. They’ll have to win out and get some help.

### 10.(10) Fire Goodell

Elimination Number: 1

I don’t want to dump on FG anymore. It’s getting old. In week 10 they became the loser in ‘biggest blowout of the week’ for the fourth time. They’re giving it their best effort but the chemistry just isn’t there. Playing spoiler is the name of the game now and no better time to start than against TEAM MANBEARPIG, against whom they are projected to win by 17 points. At  least they struck a bit of fantasy gold in Jay Cutler, averaging 32.41 PPG since coming back from injury. They also hit on James Starks and Chris Johnson, two RBs who started the seasons as backups and have since been pushed to the forefront of their respective teams’ running games.

## Matchup of the Season

GaroppoblowMe vs. The Shotti Bunch has everything you want in a matchup of the week. The team currently on top feels like the underdog against TSB, a ground and pound offense that has been the most effective in the league since its inception in 2012. The winner clinches a playoff spot and slips into either first or second place (depending on the outcome of ma ma momma said vs. FreeOJ), the loser falls out of a three way tie for the coveted bye spots. While GBM is trending down with the loss of Edelman, The Shotti Bunch is at full strength for perhaps the first time all season. Will Arizona Defense stymy that Cincy O like Houston did on Monday Night? Can the Patriots Duo produce against a healthy Buffalo team? TJ Yeldon vs. Allen Hurns on Thursday Night will set the tone for a game that will come down to Brady vs. Gronk on Monday. Lifelong friends. Lifelong rivals. This one has the makings of a classic.