Panic Attacks in Paradise

"**Panic Attacks in Paradise**" is a song by Ashnikko. It was released on September 29th, 2021 as a double-single with another song titled "Maggots".

## Background

It was released as a single alongside “Maggots,” to parallel the “rage” track with a softer, more introspective track. Ash explains how the songs are “two flip sides of the same coin".

> "When we decided to release ‘Panic Attacks in Paradise’ I was a bit apprehensive, as it’s uncharted territory for me. It’s a little bit more emotional and a little bit more vulnerable. I’m a joker at the end of the day – if I put out an emotional song I have to counter it with something ridiculous and high energy, to be like: ‘Yeah I’m vulnerable, but also I’m not playing, I’m not fucking around. Here you go, here’s a song to mosh to".
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## Theme

The song is about Ashnikko’s mental struggles after newfound fame. In an interview with NME, Ash elaborates on the song’s contrast between the “paradise” of success with deprecating mental health.

> "My career is going great, but I just have really fucked up brain chemistry sometimes… I feel like it’s so annoying to have mental health problems when you can’t actually put a finger on why it is that you are having those problems. Or when language fails you and you find it really difficult to explain why."
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In the same interview, Ash revealed how she wrote the song during vacation, a time when she felt like she was supposed to relax, but instead felt guilty about having depressive episodes.

> "I was having really horrible mental health problems and I ruined my vacation for myself; so I quite literally had a panic attack in paradise."
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Alternatively, the song is about mental issues, mainly depression, and in the song's universe Ashnikko is a depressed girl who believes that she ruins everything, will not let her boyfriend kiss or touch her because she is scared he will be disapointed, and can't forget all the trauma she's seen. She goes on a vacation to clear her mind, but still finds herself feeling sad even though she is supposed to be having fun.

## Lyrics

[Verse 1]

Typical of me to go and ruin the party

Everybody says they love me but I'm still broken hearted

They call me Polly Pessimism, I'm a macabre Barbie

(I love you)

[Pre-Chorus]

My boyfriend wants to love me but I won't let him

I've been predisposed to trauma since I was eleven

So I wrote a couple albums to let out some aggression

I hate that I'm so

Self-deprecating

More comfortable in bad situations

Sucker for a little devastation

And this always happens

[Chorus]

Panic attacks in paradise

Piña coladas, I'm terrified

I swear I'm not crying, the sun's just bright

I'm having the best time of my life

Panic attacks in paradise

Hyperventilating under candy skies

Telling myself that this is fine

I'm having the best time of my life

[Verse 2]

It's a big joke

Ha ha, I love laughin'

It's a big hoax

You're self-help happy

'Cause I'm okay

I'm pure propane

On an open flame (Watch me blow up)

[Pre-Chorus]

My boyfriend wants to love me but I won't let him

I've been predisposed to trauma since I was eleven

So I wrote a couple albums to let out some aggression

I hate that I'm so

Self-deprecating

More comfortable in bad situations

Sucker for a little devastation

And this always happens

[Chorus]

Panic attacks in paradise

Piña coladas, I'm terrified

I swear I'm not crying, the sun's just bright

I'm having the best time of my life

Panic attacks in paradise

Hyperventilating under candy skies

Telling myself that this is fine

I'm having the best time of my life

## References

1. ↑ https://www.nme.com/news/music/ashnikko-interview-panic-attacks-in-paradise-maggots-lady-gaga-3060360