2021 Power Rankings-Week 3

## Introduction

Ah, finally back to the normal league. Sorry for the late post, was dealing with some bad migraines that kept me from staring at a computer screen beyond the 12 hours a day I already stare at a computer screen at work.

It feels so good to be back doing a writeup for a plain old boring fantasy football league after the shit storm I created/dealt with over the last few days in H\*\*dH\*\*ters. Glorio doing his thing as usual, but we move on. It's just a game (but it's a game that matters more than life itself and everyone knows it).

Six teams are 1-1 heading in to week three.

Six of us know the high and the low. The pain and the joy. Is your fantasy team a contender? Certainly felt like one in that win. You see the vision. You get that your team can show up, work together, look like the real deal. You also know that it can shit the bed, and you fear that maybe it will happen at the worst possible time. For those who opened with a win, only to lose week two, was week one a fluke? Shit, week three better be a win or the thoughts creep back in: this team blows. For those who opened with a loss, only to win week two, *THATS what I'm talking about! That's exactly what I envisioned when I assembled the team. Week one was a mirage. Now we go.* The Fantasy Gods know how to toy with your emotions.

Then there are the two 2-0 teams. Nate and Shotti, oh the more things change the more they stay the same. Are these two destined to meet in a playoff battle?

The two 0-2 teams, Pat and Papa. When I saw them talking at my wedding I figured it was about life, the universe, and everything, but maybe they are colluding in some way, tanking in order to combine forces and win the whole thing as one. Wait, is that this league? And was it my dad or me? I can't keep it straight (gay Matt, AMIRIGHT?).

Welcome to week three, suckers.

## Stat Chat

* RIPDab becomes the fourth team to reach 70 regular season wins.
* RIPDab becomes the third team to break 300 in at least four games.
* RIPDab wins his 17th blowout of the week, behind only Duck Punchers (18) for the most all-time.
* Momma has the longest active streak of games above 200 with 5.
* Paddock 9 (0-2) did not have a two-game losing streak at all last season.
* Shotti now has 10 or more wins against five of the other nine teams in the LOC.
* Duck Punchers logs the 23rd highest score of a losing team in regular season history.
* Papa's Posse is 0-2 with 388 points this year after starting 0-2 with 392 points last year.

## Matchup Recaps

* The Shotti Bunch defeats Commish for the first time since 2019 and secures a tie for first (10-6). Next **Matchup: N/A**
* RIPDab avenges his 2020 semifinals loss against Duck Punchers with his best ever performance (8-7). **Next Matchup: Week 13**
* Ma ma momma said narrowly escapes an 0-2 start with a MNF victory over Papa's Posse (13-6). **Next Matchup: Week 9**
* Pain Train dominates Paddock 9 after the defending champ puts up his worst score against PT since November 2011 (11-6). **Next Matchup: Week 10**
* The Stupid Idiots gets a W in a less-than-convincing performance vs. Sweet Dee (4-3). **Next Matchup: N/A**

## Elimination

Interesting strategy by Jared to not make a pick in elimination last week, giving him his first strike. Papa got screwed by Baltimore week one so he also has a strike. Everyone else is alive with two strikes. Three of us picked Carolina this week so are already on to week four with their full health. More next week.

## The Trade from Hell

We have one of the absolute craziest trade fallouts in history taking place between RIPDab and Paddock 9. First off, let me apologize to RIPDab for assessing Aiyuk last week in the power rankings as if Dab had drafted him. Aiyuk came over from Paddock 9 in a trade, and it's only part of the insanity.

### Paddock's Haul

* Player #1: Melvin Gordon - The man, the myth, the Shotti Bunch legend. Number will someday be lifted to the rafters of Shotti Stadium. Many believe Javonte Williams will supplant Melvin as the bell cow back in Denver by season's end, but for now he is running like he did during the championship years. So it's only fitting that RIPDab would finally grab his rival's most cherished player, only to trade him away and watch him ball out for another team.

* Player #2: Will Fuller V - One game suspension? No problem. Michael Thomas is sitting for half a season. It's a long year. Well, not so fast. Per Palm Beach Post journalist Joe Schad, Brian Flores last week refused to comment on whether Will Fuller would be back at all THIS SEASON. That's more than one game, fellas. Now he's expected to play vs. Las Vegas and he has Jacoby Brissett as his QB. Who knows what will happen.

### RIPDab's Haul

* Player #1: Brandon Aiyuk - Perhaps the greatest lockerroom cancer swap in history, Dab accepted Aiyuk as a comp for Fuller. Aiyuk is barely seeing the field because Kyle Shanahan doesn't like what he has seen from him. How fucking insulting. So Aiyuk rides the pine just like Fuller.

* Player #2: Henry Ruggs - RIPDab has *already fucking dropped* this guy! With three players not even playing, this trade essentially boils down to RIPDab gave Pat Melvin Gordon....and that's it! Absolutely fucking hilarious series of events to take place within a single week.

## Don't Be 0-3

While we didn't have an 0-3 team in 2020, we could have a couple in 2021. So what exactly is at stack for these winless squads? While 0-2 isn't a death sentence, 0-3 just might be.

Pain Train overcame adversity in 2011 when he ripped off an impressive nine game win streak from week 4 to week 12. Unfortunately, he ended the season with a week 13 loss to RIPDab, a quarterfinals loss to the inaugural champion Papa, and then a Cinco De lose-O loss to Commish.

In 2016, both Paddock and Duck started 0-3 and made the playoffs. This was that weird year where Sweet Dee and Papa both started 3-0 and missed playoffs, while P9 and DP started 0-3 and made playoffs. It skews the statistics a little bit when assessing how well undefeated and winless teams do. When you remove this season you're only left with one team in eleven years that made playoffs after starting 0-3.

## The 300-Point Club

Congratulations to RIPDab for another 300-point performance, his fourth. Only Duck Punchers and Commish have enjoyed as many 300-point games in their franchise history.

This also marks the single best performance RIPDab has ever had in LOC history.

RIPDab keeps the streak alive. There has now been a 300-point game in every season.

## Week Three Power Rankings

I've been doing this for a long time, but I don't remember any week in LOC history where I looked at my ranking from a week earlier and thought 'yup, that's exactly where they should have been.' Only two teams shifted around this week as everyone else kept the status quo.

### 1(1). RIPDab

#NatesYear continues with a beatdown of title contender and all-time wins leader Duck Punchers. He may not have needed ALL of those points, but he faced off against the second highest scoring performance of the week and still had a margin of victory over 80 points. That's dominance.

### 2(2). The Shotti Bunch

Shit, I hate to say this but maybe Shotti knew something we didn't when he kept Chase Edmonds. The guy has looked fantastic, and so has Gronk, and so has Thielen, and so has Deebo. I mean, it's all clicking right now for the once and future king. Shotti doesn't meet RIPDab until week 14. I'm already excited for that epic matchup.

### 3(4). Duck Punchers

Top five shitty feelings: you are the second best team and lose to the best team. That's what happened to our friend Duck this week, but he can rest assured that few tears are being shed as his team shapes up to be a true force to be reckoned with and already caught a HUGE break in week three. Don't look now but Duke Johnson has been going to tryouts for some teams. If he gets brought in, there's no telling how high this team could fly. Lockerroom guy, Duck Puncher captain, the heart and soul of the duck. Man, I'm getting chills just thinking about the Return of the Duke.

### 4(3). The Multiverse of Mattness

What would you call it when there is trouble in paradise but it's not really paradise to begin with, it's like a cheap beach? Trouble in discount paradise? I don't even know what to say at this point. Mattness was projected to go 14-0, which was laughable, but it's getting funnier by the week. This team has the vibes of another 3-win season way more than it does a playoff season. We'll see if Mattness can SOMEHOW will his squad to victory after CMC put up 7 points and left with a hammy.

### 5(5). Ma ma momma said

You don't want to ever fault a guy for winning because a single player nearly broke 100 points. It was by the grace of Alvin Kamara's 6 TDs in the Million Dollar Game that gave Mattness a win over Momma to end last season. But let's just say this: a 77.30 burger from one player goes a long way to hide shortcomings on a manager's roster. No one is talking about Dak's 16, Kittle's 5.90, or James Robinson's combined 21.71 in two games.

### 6(6). Sweet Dee

I finally came up with a name for the phenomenon that we experience every year with Sweet Dee. The Sweet Deelusion. Facing a struggling Papa this week, 2-1 is there for the taking. But how soon before the Deelusion vanishes and reveals the truth we have come to know? After this week, Dee faces RIP, Shotti, and Duck back-to-back-to-back. All truths come to light.

### 7(7). Pain Train

A lot hinges on the LA Rams today. Pain Train is rolling out Sony Michel and Tyler Higbee against RIPDab's Kupp and Gay. No one is going to sit here and say kickers matter, but fuck it they do. If Matt Gay keeps kicking field goals against Pain Train's TB defense, it could swing the game big time.

### 8(8). The Stupid Idiots

Death, taxes, and Stupid Idiots starting 1-1. Doesn't matter that it wasn't pretty, just win baby. With Paddock 9 up this week, they could just win baby yet again.

### 9(9). Paddock 9

P9 had this really weird thing happen on Sunday where all of a sudden his players just stopped scoring. I don't know if anyone else noticed this, and I'm not trying to be funny. I had live score updates and it was like his guys were chugging along (doing okay, not great) and then at around 3pm they just stopped scoring and didn't score again. I don't know what to make of this team that *did* score a respectable 223.70 in week one. I don't think they are done just yet, but they may be finished. Hard to say.

### 10(10). Papa's Posse

Brutal way to lose game 2, especially considering that despite Henry's onslaught they still pulled within a single point on Green Bay's last defensive possession. Swift caught dump off after dump off in the final minute to seal it for momma, and the win was left on the bench in the form of J.D. McKissic the point stealer. These are the losses that haunt, the ones you know you had to win and could have won. I feel for Papa. He now loses Dalvin Cook for week three against a beatable Sweet Dee. Paddock may be finished, but Papa truly seems done if he can't win now.

## Matchup of the Week - Old Rivalries Burn Bright

It's been a long time since we last had a game between Shotti and Momma that meant something. Maybe people forget, but Momma started his career 6-0 against Shotti before a fateful 2015 season in which he lost Glory Bowl V by five points to The Shotti Bunch. Shotti went on to win another two Glory Bowls, while momma has been considered a bubble team ever since. For the last three seasons, neither team has been seen as a threat to the league. But now both are jockying for position early in 2021 and seem to be looking legitimate. Can Momma return to form and be the kryptonite the league needs him to be to slow the reemergence of Shotti as a deadly force? Or will Shotti continue to roll with his cast of seasoned vets and newcomers alike?

Updated through 12/31/20

## Conclusion

That's all for now. Have a great week and catch you on the flip-flop.