The Last Camel Died at Noon

***The Last Camel Died at Noon*** [Excavation Season 1897-98]

"...The Emerson family heads to the Sudan for the season, following an ancient map they hope will lead them to a secret oasis. What they find is one of the most perilous adventures of their lives."

> Acknowledgments from *The Last Camel Died at Noon*: I owe the translations of Ramses’s Latin note to the kindness of Ms. Tootie Godlove-Ridenour, if there are any errors, they are due to my careless transcribing or (more probably) to the haste of Ramses himself.
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## Characters

*in alphabetical order*

* Amelia Peabody
* Amenit
* Nastasen
* Nefret Forth
* Pedley, Captain
* Radcliffe Emerson
* Reginald "Reggie" Forthright
* Tarek, Prince (aka Kemit)
* Viscount Blacktower
* Walter "Ramses" Emerson

## Notable Animals

### Camels

A sympathetic friend (if camels have such, which is doubtful) might have taken comfort in the fact that scarcely a ripple of agitated sand surrounded the place of its demise. Like the others in the caravan, of which it was the last, it had simply stopped, sunk to its knees, and passed on, peacefully and quietly. (Conditions, I might add, that are uncharacteristic of camels alive or moribund.)

### Temple Cat

A tawny form lay stretched upon the tiles when we entered; seeing us, it spat and growled and leapt like a streak of softest gold upon the wall and over.

“Ramses’s cat,” I said. “Is it angry with us because we have lost him, do you think?”

“Don’t be fanciful, Peabody,” said Emerson in the gruff voice he uses when he is trying to hide a softer emotion.

## Locations

London, England

Gebel Barkal, Sudan

The Lost Oasis, Sudan

### Amelia Describes

#### Egypt

The first stage, from Cairo to Assouan, was one we had made many times, and I anticipated no particular difficulty there. So it proved; but Assouan, which had been a sleepy little village, was now transformed into a vast depot for military supplies. - Amelia Peabody

Since travel by boat through the tumultuous, rocky rapids of the First Cataract is hazardous, we had to leave the steamer at Assouan and take the railroad to Shellal at the south end of the cataract. - Amelia Peabody

Four giant statues of Ramses II guard the entrance, greeting with inhuman dignity the daily advent of the god to whom the temple was dedicated, as they have done morning after morning for almost three thousand years. - Amelia Peabody

Halfa, as it is now commonly termed, was once a small cluster of mud huts, but it 1885, after the withdrawal of our forces from Khartoum, it was established as the southern frontier of Egypt. It had now become a bustling depot of supplies and arms for the forces farther south. - Amelia Peabody

#### Sudan

Four days later, after an uncomfortable but uneventful voyage, we saw a ruddy mountain loom over the tops of the palm trees. It was Gebel Barkal, the Holy Mountain of the Nubian Kingdom. We had reached our destination. - Amelia Peabody

The cool night breeze stirred the damp tendrils of my hair. The vault of heaven blazed with stars that cast a mystical glow along the sides of the pyramid. Feeling like a queen enthroned, surrounded by kneeling courtiers, I sipped by whiskey and opened my senses to the allure of the desert wastes. And when Emerson sighed deeply and remarked, “Ah, my dear Peabody; life cannot hold any greater charm than this,” I was forced to agree that he was right.

Darkness was complete. A shining net of stars spanned the deep vault of heaven, and in the west a silvery glow outlined the ragged crest of the hills. If flooded the landscape in pallid light as the half-grown moon lifted slowly into view.

Against the tapestry of living light the jagged contours of the pyramids stood out in dark outline, and as any thoughtful individual might do, I mused upon the vanity of human aspiration and the brevity of human passions. - Amelia Peabody

## Archaeological Fever

My heart sank with the sun. I had studied the work of Lepsius, and I ought to have been prepared for the dismal reality, but hope will ever triumph over fact in my imagination. Some of the pyramids still stood relatively intact, but they were pathetic substitutes for the great stone tombs of Giza and Dahshur.

> “Curse it, Peabody,” Emerson went on, glaring at the blocked doorway of the tomb proper, “I would give ten years of my life to get a look inside. What the devil, haven’t these people enough gumption to rob tombs and leave them open for visitors?”
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> “Language, Emerson,” I said. “I share your sentiments but I don’t suppose tomb robbing is a very popular profession here. Where would a thief spend his ill-gotten gains? Oh, curse it, where is the cursed place? Here’s another confounded Cushite, and his wife and four of his children.”
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> “Language Peabody,” said Emerson.
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Archaeological fever! There is no passion like it, few that equal it in intensity. It gripped me even as it gripped my remarkable spouse. - Radcliffe Emerson

Well, my boy, I am proud of you, and I know your mama is too. That you should have pursued your archaeological research under those conditions is really splendid. - Radcliffe Emerson

## Historical Cameos

### Slatin Pasha (Rudolf Carl von Slatin, formerly Slatin Bey)

“However, Ramses perked up with Emerson announced his intention of calling on Slatin Pasha, who was assisting the Intelligence Department. I myself looked forward to meeting this astonishing man whose adventures had become the stuff of legend.” - Amelia Peabody

“I would very much like to hear of your adventures,” - Ramses Emerson

“In 1897, just two years following [Slatin’s] escape, Amelia, Emerson, and Ramses met him during their Sudan expedition. (A signed copy of his account of his life in Sudan, imprisonment, and escape is also to be found in the Peabody-Emerson Library. It has obviously been read several times, and, from pencil notes in the margins, the memoir was a favorite of Ramses Emerson.)”

## Inspirations

H. Rider Haggard (*King Solomons’ Mines*)

## Budge Trash Talk

“Where shall we excavate then, Emerson?”

“There is only one place, Peabody. Napata.”

“Napata?”

“Gebel Barkal, near Merawi. I am convinced it is the site of the first capital of Cush, which flourished for six hundred years before the Cushites moved upriver to Meroe. Budge is already there, curse him,” Emerson added, clenching his teeth so violently on the stem of his pipe that a cracking sound was heard. “What he is doing to the pyramids I dare not think.”

“That is what we must determine,” Emerson growled. “I am determined to stay as far away from Budge as I possibly can; I will not settle on a site until I find out where he is working. You know me, Peabody, I go to great lengths in order to avoid controversy and confrontations.”

## Cultural References

### Kitab al Kanuz

“It is a magical work, written in the fifteenth century, containing stories of buried treasure. One such location is in the white city of Zerzura, where the king and queen lie asleep on their thrones. The key to the city is in the beak of a bird carved on the great gate; but you must take care not to wake the king and queen of you want the treasure.” - Radcliffe Emerson

### Shakespeare

There was a brief silence. Then a voice murmured, “ ‘Yet who would have thought the old man had so much blood in him… .’ ”

Emerson nodded. “Well put, Ramses. Your mama will no doubt be happy to hear you quote a more literary source than your favorite thrillers. There was a great deal of blood.”

Wouldn’t it be ironic if she attempted to poison us while you are in the process of poisoning her? Bodies everywhere like the last act of Hamlet. - Radcliffe Emerson

### H. Rider Haggard

“First I find myself dropped into a plot that might have been concocted by your favorite author Rider Haggard,” Emerson went on in the same hoarse whisper. “Now I must content with another character out of fiction--or, what is worse, English fairy tales. Robin Hood!”

“Oh, good Gad,” growled Emerson. “Amelia, if you have finished corrupting the literary tastes of a royal house, I would like to ask a few sensible questions.”

### The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins

“Have you ever read *The Moonstone*, Emerson?”

“You know I don’t share your trashy taste in literature, Peabody.”

### Pirates of Penzance

Emerson grinned. “Nastasen’s soldiers reminded me of the pirates of Messieurs Gilbert and Sullivan. ‘With catlike tread—thud!—upon our prey we steal, In silent tread—crash!—our cautious way we feel …’ ”

Smiling, I joined my voice to his. There is nothing like a song, I always say, to lift the spirits. “ ‘No sound at all—’ “ We brought our fists down on the table and Ramses, joining in the spirit of the thing, shouted, “Bang!” at the top of his lungs.

We finished the verse in fine style, and burst into the chorus with Ramses’s piping voice providing an unharmonious treble. “Come friends, who plough the sea,” and so on to the end.

Emerson moped his brow and burst out laughing.

## First Line

Hands on hips, brows lowering, Emerson stood gazing fixedly at the recumbent ruminant.

## Quotes to Remember

To the readers who have encountered my distinguished husband, in the flesh or in the pages of my earlier works, it will come as no surprise to learn that he reacted to the camel’s death as if the animal had committed suicide for the sole purpose of inconveniencing him.

Don’t give me one of your lectures on veterinary medicine and kindness to animals,” Emerson bellowed. “I knew—I knew—your delusions about your medical knowledge would lead us into disaster one day. - Radcliffe Emerson

“Emerson calls me Amelia only when he is annoyed with me.” - Amelia Peabody

No, it was the probable fate of Ramses that brought the moisture to his keen blue eyes. So moved was I that I vowed not to remind Emerson that it was his fault that his son and heir had been condemned to a slow, lingering, painful death from dehydration. - Amelia Peabody

I am seldom wrong. On those rare occasions when I am wrong it is usually because I have underestimated the stubbornness of Emerson or the devious whiles of Ramses, or a combination of the two. - Amelia Peabody

"I shudder to think what unimaginable horror can have reduced him to such straits."

"No, you don’t," said Emerson. "You revel in unimaginable horrors."

The dark shadow of the Master Criminal, our old nemesis, would always haunt us --me, especially, since I had (much to my astonishment, for I am a modest woman) inspired an intense passion in that warped by brilliant brain. - Amelia Peabody

Though we received every courtesy from Captain Pedley, he was tactless enough to tell Emerson he ought not allow his wife to travel into such a desolate and dangerous region. “Allow!” Emerson repeated. “’Allow.’ did you say?”

“Ramses stood beside us at the rail, and his normally impassive countenance showed signs of suppressed emotion as he gazed upon the mightiest work of the monarch whose namesake he was." - Amelia Peabody

He claimed they had no room for another boarder. This may have been so. I had no means of proving it was not. I cannot conceive of any other reason why my son should not have been admitted to a school for young gentlemen. - Amelia Peabody

Most small boys are barbarians. It's a wonder any of them live to grow up. - Amelia Peabody

I put my hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Well, Ramses, I hope you appreciate the kindness of your parents in providing you with such an opportunity. Impressive, is it not?

Ramses prominent note quivered critically. “Ostentatious and grandiose. Compared with the temple of Deir el-Bahri—”

What a dreadful little snob you are,” I exclaimed.

“We had better go on and . . . Ramses! Where the devil has he got to? Peabody, you were supposed to keep an eye on him.” - Radcliffe Emerson

My husband—my other half—the man who had sworn his eternal devotion, and to whom I had given mine—Emerson had deceived me! - Amelia Peabody

“I suspect they may have been queens’ tombs--for even in Cush, where women enjoyed considerable power, the ladies were shortchanged in the matter of pyramids.” - Amelia Peabody

“It is obvious isn’t it? This bit of arrow was broken off during the struggle last night, it must have been carried by Reggie’s assailant, who was caught in the very act of luring Ramses out of his bed, for the second time since we arrived in Nubia. Why he wants Ramses I cannot imagine … that is to say, I do not know.” - Amelia Peabody

I brandished my teacup and raised my voice to a thrilling pitch. “Let us cut through the cobwebs of speculation with the sharp sword of common sense!” - Amelia Peabody

> With all respect, Mama, I would rather not be hypnotized again.  From my reading on the subject I feel it is a dangerous activity when practiced by one who is untrained in its techniques.“
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> "If you’re referring to me, Ramses,” I began.
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> “Weren’t you referring to yourself?"  Emerson inquired, his eyes twinkling.  He put a friendly hand on Ramses’s shoulder.  "Sit down, my son; I won’t let Mama hypnotize you.”
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> “Thank you, Papa."  Ramses sank down, keeping a wary eye on me.
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His eyes met mine. It was one of those thrilling moments of absolute communication that so often occurs when my dear Emerson and myself. “But you,” that silent message said, “you understand me, Peabody.” And of course, I did.

“Sit down, you young idiot,” Emerson growled. “What melodrama!”

**Emerson**: I won't let you come, Peabody.

**Amelia**: Your tone lacks conviction, my dear Emerson. You know you can't prevent me.

“Don’t tell me I am mistaken; I am never mistaken about such things.”

Years spent stumbling through the pitfalls of matrimony had taught me that it would be ill-advised to deny this ridiculous statement.”

I daresay most individuals would have been speechless with horror at this catastrophe; but that condition has never affected the Emerson-Peabodys. Adversity only strengthens us; disaster stimulates and inspires us. - Amelia Peabody

“Peabody, Peabody!” Emerson seized me tightly in his arms and muffled his laughter against my hair. “You are the light of my life and the joy of my existence and—and all that. Have I mentioned lately that I adore you?”

He had taken the hand I had offered him; he held it like some fragile flower, as if the slightest pressure would bruise it. Was I moved? Yes. Was I annoyed? Very. I was not accustomed to being handled like a delicate flower. - Amelia Peabody

Tarek’s bearing had the dignity of a true nobleman; the other man carried himself with the arrogance of a tyrant. (Emerson maintains that I am reinterpreting my reaction in the light of later experience. I stick to my statement.) - Amelia Peabody

Acting upon my impulses has always been one of my characteristics. - Amelia Peabody

I would not like to claim that I am often awakened in the middle of the night by burglars, murderers, and other intruders. “Often” would be an exaggeration. - Amelia Peabody

I am not one of your weak, swooning females. I even know a few tricks of wrestling, thanks to assiduous study of ancient Egyptian reliefs and the assistance of my parlormaid Rose, who amiably allows me to practice on her. - Amelia Peabody

He continues to cling to the forlorn hope that I will turn into one of those swooning females…and fling myself squealing at him whenever anything happens. Like all men, he clings to his illusions. - Amelia Peabody

“These people are very fond of children,” said Ramses, with a callous cynicism that chilled my blood. “The captain (his name is Harsetef) laughed and patted me on the head when I asked to hold his big iron spear. He said he hoped his son would grow up to be a brave boy like me.”

In addition to my useful parasol, I had my knife and a pair of scissors. Not a great armament with which to combat an entire city; but it was comforting to realise that express rifles or even Gatling guns would have been little more use, with only two of us to wield them. - Amelia Peabody

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> **Amelia**: Oh Emerson—I am not at all comfortable about this. I believe we are about to be sacrificed. Sun worshipers have a habit of sacrificing people, and Amon—
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> **Emerson**: Don’t be absurd, Peabody. Those trashy novels you read are weakening your brain.
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The lady had come to tell us Ramses had been found--or rather, had returned of his own accord.

> “Sarcasm does not become you, Emerson. I am quite serious. There must be some way we can increase our prestige, inspire awe and terror. . . . Emerson! Is there by chance an eclipse of the sun imminent?”
> Emerson took his pipe out of his mouth and stared at me. “How the devil should I know, Peabody?”
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“Why are we always getting into situations like this, Peabody? Why can’t I conduct a simple archaeological excavation?” - Radcliffe Emerson

Emerson’s fist came down on the table with a crash that made the crockery rattle. ‘Damnation! I knew it! Another pair of confounded young lovers!’

“I cannot imagine what you mean, Emerson,” I replied. “I always weigh the facts dispassionately before reaching a conclusion.” - Amelia Peabody

“Mrs. Emerson is quite capable of walking without your assistance, Forthright,” said Emerson, scowling. “Hands off my wife, if you please.”

“Don’t waste your breath arguing with her,” said Emerson, smoking placidly. “It never has the slightest effect. Continue, my dear Peabody.”

It was not my needle and thread. The dirty gray color of the latter (not its original shade) betrayed its real ownership. I was afraid to ask why Ramses had needle and thread. Too many hideous possibilities came to mind. - Amelia Peabody

“Talk quickly,” I ordered. “I can’t prolong this indefinitely. We look ridiculous.” For Emerson and Ramses were pretending to watch intently, as if the sewing on of a button were a rare and remarkable event. - Amelia Peabody

“That should do the trick,” I said aloud, as one of the attendants appeared in the doorway, bright-eyed with curiosity.

“Thank you,” said Reggie, staring at his shirtfront.

“I think you have sewn the button to his undervest, Mama,” said Ramses.

“I am afraid he took it for the simplest possible reason,” I said. “He wanted to read it. It is quite touching, Emerson, when you think about it. Having been introduced by his teacher to the joy of reading and the beauties of literature, this intelligence and sensitive young man . . .”

I will not reproduce Emerson’s remark. It did not do him justice.

“I am glad we were able to enjoy that refreshing little tussle this morning,” I remarked to Emerson as we strolled arm in arm around the lotus pond. “For it appears our opportunity for healthful exercise will be very limited hereafter.” - Amelia Peabody

Oh, I am not counting on anyone, Emerson. Except ourselves. If all else fails, we will simply have to drug our attendants, overpower the guards, raise the rekkit to arms, and take over the government. - Amelia Peabody

“Never fear,” I cried. “I will be with you to the end, my dear, and after. But I will not follow till I have avenged you!” - Amelia Peabody

Emerson pushed a pair of spears aside and hurried to me. “What an anticlimax,” he remarked. “Here, Peabody, don’t faint of anything of that sort. We must continue to keep up appearances.”

“I have no intention of doing anything so absurd,” I assured him.

“Then stop mumbling into my collarbone and let go my shirt.”

I wiped my eyes on the remains of that garment before I complied. “Another shirt ruined, Emerson! You are so hard on them.”

One may smile and be a villain, Emerson. - Amelia Peabody

“Really, Peabody, if it was dangerous you shouldn’t have left it lying about.”

This from a man who had just driven a spear through a living body. - Amelia Peabody

We would as soon have abandoned Ramses as the golden-haired maiden whose courage and beauty had won both our hearts. - Amelia Peabody

Nefret was the only individual I had ever met who could strike Ramses dumb. Amelia Peabody

## Amelia Words

“I’m sure I needn’t tell you I share your enthusiasm, my dear. Yet I have seen a few **ominous** signs--”

“You are always seeing ominous signs,” Emerson grumbled.

“…The power of my voice troubles the heavens and makes the ground shake!”

He went on for some time in this vein. By the time he reached his **peroration** he had attracted quite an audience…

“I have sometimes been accused of being **precipitate** and of acting upon impulse. Such was not the case now.” - Amelia Peabody

## Ramses Being Catastrophically Precocious

If he really wanted information, he got more than he bargained for. Emerson simply rolled his eyes and shrugged, in indication that he found Reggie’s state of ignorance too abysmal to be capable of improvement, but Ramses was always ready to lecture.

“I fail to see that we have any other course than the one Papa has evidently decided upon; and it would be as impossible for me to remain behind as for Mama to be parted from Papa. I am sure I need not trouble you with an expression of excessive emotion in order to convince you both that my feelings are as profound and as sincere as--”

I took it upon myself to stop him, since I knew he would go on talking until his breath gave out. “Pedantic little wretch,” I said, attempting to conceal my own emotion, “how dare you appeal to affection in order to have your own way.”

Nevertheless we made excellent progress, not only because of certain mental attributes modesty prevents me from naming, but because Ramses had already picked up a good deal from Tarek-alias-Kemit even before we arrived. Needless to say he took full advantage of his position of instructor to his elders, and on several occasions I was sorely tempted to send him to his room. - Amelia Peabody

“We have seen no indication that these people practice human sacrifice.”

“They do, though,” Reggie said, biting his lip. “Tarek described in grisly detail …”

He broke off, shuddering. Ramses said interestedly, “How is it done, Mr. Forthright? In the old Egyptian style, by smashing the victim’s head with a club, or—”

“Never mind, Ramses,” I said. “If Mr. Forthright is correct, we may have a firsthand opportunity to find out.”

“I endeavored to suggest that possibility, Mama,” said Ramses in an injured voice. “And you and Papa implied I was imagining things.”

“Certain of the expressions strongly suggest that Ramses not only wrote it but composed it,” I replied. “ ‘Astutissimo,’ indeed.” - Amelia Peabody

## Foreshadowing

### Whiskey and Soda

Emerson filled the glasses and passed them around, ignoring the hand Ramses had extended. Ramses never gave up hope that Emerson would absentmindedly include him in the evening ritual--not so much, I think, because he liked the taste of whiskey as because it represented maturity and equal status with his parents.

### Spycraft

“I would very much like to hear of your adventures,” Ramses said.

“One day, perhaps. At the moment I am fully occupied gathering reports from men who have returned from enemy territory. Intelligence,” he added, addressing Ramses, whose fixed stare he probably took for boyish admiration, “is the nerve network of an army. Before we begin the next stage of the campaign, we must find out all we can about the strength and disposition of the Khalifa’s forces.”

## References

1. ↑ “Amelia Peabody Books”. barbaramertz.org. May 1, 2023.
2. ↑ “A Commanding Perspective: The British in Egypt 1884-1917” by Jocelyn Gohary from *Amelia Peabody’s Egypt: A Compendium*, Edited by Elizabeth Peters and Kristen Whitbread, page 74.