Gordon Freeman vs Issac Clarke

**Gordon Freeman vs Issac Clarke**is the second installment of *Epic Rap Battles of Video Games* and the second episode of Season One. It features protagonist of the *Half-Life*series, Gordon Freeman, against the *Dead Space*series' protagonist, Issac Clarke. It was released March 9th, 2013.

## Lyrics

### **Isaac Clarke:**

Well, well, it ain't my fellow engineer

Fighting alien bastards until they all disappear.

It seems we have a lot in common, using basic tools

but a crowbar? Your weapon of choice is for fools.

That G-man called you the right man in the wrong time

Well it's time for you to pay for your crime.

You and Black Mesa started the resonance Cascade

Starting the Combines' Earth conquering Crusade.

### **Gordon Freeman:**

Looks like those Necromorphs fucked you up real bad

Dad-disappearing, Mom-praising Altman past? ain't that sad

It took me just 6 days to fuck up the whole Xen

But your Unitology friends just doesn't leave you alone, Amen

You make fun of my crowbar, while you are using a plasma cutter

I have a Gravity Gun, yours are no better than shit from a gutter

I will be your doom, so enjoy your last living seconds

Dead Space, filled with your scream, as death beckons.

*Gordon's crowbar and Isaac's Plasma Cutter meet as they run into each other.*

### **Isaac Clarke:**

You are simply fighting aliens gobbling up the Earth

The convergence of necromorphs leads to the Moon's Birth.

Hive Mind was just the beginning, the Universe is at stake

As the Marker reaches its goal, the Brother Moons are awake.

My rapping, fighting, fixing skills are just so boss

So why don't you go and play portal with that GLaDOS?

Oh, and Ask Valve and Gaben why you aren't a trilogy

'Cuz waiting for it increased your fan's irritabilty.

### **Gordon Freeman:**

You call that a rap? Well that was just plain crap

I rather go to Ravenholm that's full of head crab.

I'll crush you so fast it will be like a Seven Hour War

like your death scene, blood everywhre, so gore.

Maybe you should have turned it off, following Dementia

In the end you were just following the Marker's agenda

So give up now before you decay into bits of thousands

Since that's your half-life, mere nanoseconds.

### **Isaac Clarke:**

fighting all kind of necromorphs that seems like a witchcraft

At least you didn't face Zerg-seemed creature from Starcraft!

### **Gordon Freeman:**

With my HEV suit, those corpses would have been nothin'.

I wanna see you escaping Nova Prospekt if you're that cunnin'!

### **Isaac Clarke:**

Fighting Cyborgs and big larva calling themselves Shu'ulathoi

You have no clue how freaky and crazy aliens can get, boy.

### **Gordon Freeman:**

At least Alyx is still with me, sharing a booze

Nicole, Santos, and Eli- How many more are you going to lose?

### **Isaac Clarke:**

I've gone through hardcore shit, like a needle in my eye

most hardcore you've gone is eatin' pills and gettin' high.

### **Gordon Freeman:**

I am a theoretical physicist, we are on a different scale

I can recite the Quantum chromodynamic lagrangian to every detail!

### **Isaac Clarke:**

You indeed share the same last name as Morgan Freeman

But compared to him you are no more than a fuckin' tin can

### **Gordon Freeman:**

Oh Shut up, I'll show you how it's done in New Mexico

Blasting you from Ishimura all the way to Jericho

*Isaac and Gordon look at each other angrily, and are about to attack, but suddenly a spaceship flies over them and drops... MASTER CHIEF!*

### **Master Chief:**

Stop, Both of you, this rap battle is just pathetic

Thinking y'all were the master engineer, very empathetic

I'm here to finish this, in a way it is very relentless

My will for victory is somewhat similar to my skill, its endless

Combine? Necromorphs? They don't compare to covenants

But I'd beat all three of 'em without any discriminant

It's time to end this meaningless battle, be ready to be plustered

So now rest in pieces, you dirty-ass bastards.

## Trivia

* Although Jason thinks this battle is ass, he still likes the beat.