RQG 73 - Phantom Funtimes

## Content Warnings

Compulsion, combat, undead (wraith, Western-fantasy zombies), discussion of STDs, weakening/fatigue. SFX: Screeching, squelching

## Summary

The LOLOMG takes on a challenge in the scariest part of Prague (according to Bertie). The party splits up to look for clues.

## Synopsis

Immediately upon hearing a loud scream echoing from the manor they’re stood in front of, Bertie attempts to kick in the gate but fails, hurting his foot. Sasha looks at the lock, but it’s so rusted that it wouldn’t be worth picking, and climbs over the gate. Bertie slashes at the lock and swings it in.

They all run up the path, lined by weeping willows. The mansion in front of them has pillars out front supporting the balcony on the upper floor; it doesn’t look run-down, but it’s clear that it hasn’t been lived in in a while. Some of the windows are broken and some are boarded up, and as they get closer they hear the scream/wail again, most likely coming from the second floor or an attic. Grizzop nocks an arrow and says that it’s above them. Sasha begins climbing and makes it up to the second floor balcony, so that she’s right above the front door. She continues climbing up to the third story, and looks in through the window to see a bunch of furniture covered with sheets - most likely a bedroom once upon a time. It’s all quite old, and nothing in there looks valuable. She sneaks inside and has a look around.

Hamid casts *acid splash* on the lock on the door and it melts; Bertie, meanwhile, flies up to the second floor and peers in through the window, seeing a drawing room covered in dust. Hamid and Grizzop head in through the front door and head up the stairs to meet with Bertie, and then they all hear a loud scream again (not human). Sasha knows it’s come from above them, but Grizzop isn’t certain and decides to head into the basement and check it out, since the house is over a plague pit. Hamid says that they should all stick together, but Grizzop says that they’ll cover more ground if they split up.

Sasha heads out into the corridor to find a way up into the floor above her and investigate the scream. She sees Grizzop and Hamid talking as she looks over the railing, but she cannot find a staircase leading up to the next floor. She doesn’t want to yell, since there’s something above them, so she throws a playing card down at them to get their attention. It hits Hamid in the back of the head and Grizzop draws an arrow as they both turn. She’s trying to gesture at them to come up, because she heard a scream, but Grizzop still wants to check downstairs.

Bertie, who’s still outside the second floor window, smashes the window so that he can get in. The rest of them hear a crash, and realize it’s Bertie. Bertie puts on the ring of attract undead, and Sasha feels the need to be close to Bertie again. She heads down a floor to get near Bertie, who is bashing the furniture with his sword and singing, and then heads out to the corridor and starts banging his sword against his shield to get their attention. Grizzop, meanwhile, says he’s going to go check out the basement. Hamid heads up the stairs and meets up with Bertie, while Sasha comes downstairs and meets up with them as well. She says he should take the ring off, since it’s not strategic, and he eventually gives the ring to Sasha.

Sasha notices something moving near the ceiling, and both her and Bertie ask if it’s Mr. Ceiling. Nothing responds, so Sasha calls for Hamid to come up and look. Hamid casts *detect magic*, but doesn’t see anything; he asks where Sasha saw it, and she says above them. They try to figure out how to get into the attic. Bertie jabs his sword at the ceiling, and a chunk of plaster falls onto his armor.  Hamid is still looking around for a ladder but cannot find any way to get upstairs. Bertie suggests that they check other rooms, and Sasha points out that there’s a single attic window, but it might be too narrow for her to fit through. She decides to try anyway, and will climb up the outside to see if there’s a way for her to fit in. Hamid starts pulling at things on walls to see if a secret passage opens, and as he pulls on a candelabra, a passage does indeed open. Sasha crawls back in and Bertie leads the party upward into the attic.

Grizzop, split off from the party, is heading toward the basement with his bow readied. He goes down the stairs and notices a mound of disturbed earth in the middle of the basement. He hears the faint sound of loads of zombies buried deep underneath the earth.

Back to the main party: Bertie has made it to the top of the stairs, and as he pokes his head into the attic, sees a full spectral figure with overlong arms, no eyes, and is fading in and out of visibility. It screams again, and swipes a hand at Bertie’s head. It passes through his skull, and Bertie takes negative damage (metagame: he’s lost 5 con points, which affects a number of his stats). He doesn’t fall backwards down the stairs, and the party enters combat.

After they defeat the wraith, Bertie feels terrible, and looks exhausted. Hamid asks what’s going on, before saying that they’ll need to get him sorted in time for the opera. Bertie searches around the attic room and finds a skeleton hugging a chest wearing a lot of expensive jewelry. Sasha pushes him aside and checks the chest for traps; Hamid is still trying to get them to move downstairs in case Grizzop needs help. Sasha breaks the lock, and there’s a number of gowns and jewelry and a bag of money.

Grizzop is still digging in the basement and finds a mouldy finger, before uncovering a head and a shoulder. He shoots it in the head until it dies, and continues digging past it. Suddenly, the earth begins to move more, and arms and hands are pushing through the dirt as Grizzop hops back and makes it safely to the stairs.

Hamid says they need to go down and help Grizzop, saying that they need to make sure he’s alright, and Sasha asks how much the dress she’s found is worth.

## Quotes

**Bryn**: "Anyone worried about climate change will tell you that the scariest tree is no tree at all."
**Lydia**: "Or the scariest tree is mass plantations of pines which don't actually really add anything to the..."
―The party comes across an abandoned manor house.

"My greatest nemesis ... slightly sloping elderly roofs!"
―**Lydia**

**Alex**: "You are looking into a room, it's covered in sheets—"
**James**: " Ghosts! Ghosts!"
**Alex**: "They are spooky sheets!"
**Lydia**: "Aaah!"
**Bryn**: "They are ghosts of furniture. And remember guys, Bertie hates furniture."
**Ben:**: "Is this all the furniture he's killed over the years, back to haunt him?!"
―The party investigates the abandoned manor house.

**Alex**: "I swear if you split yourselves among 4 floors simultaneously—"
**Ben**: "Yeah I'm gonna—I'll go to the basement you cover the ground."
**Lydia**: "Amazing, yes!"
**James**: "Yeah! Let's do it!"
**Ben**: "I'm not joking."
**Lydia**: "I'm not either."
**Bryn**: "I'm not taking a floor to myself, do you know how squishy I am?! And I used up all my spells hiding from my... past..."
**James**: "The rules of genre horror dictate that upon encountering a spooky house you have to split up to cover more ground faster!"
―The party investigates the abandoned manor house.

**Bertie *(singing)***: "Zombies, zombies, give me your answer do~"
**Alex *(singing)***: "Rolling a perception check to see if they hear you~"
―Bertie goes off on his own to search.

"I'm not undead, I'm just, y'know ... vitally challenged."
―**Sasha**

**Bryn**: "I will now proceed to cast *detect magic* on myself."
**Alex**: "On yourself? You do not appear to be more than normally magical. I'm being, I'm being, I'm being glib."
**Bryn *(absolutely flat)***: "That was hilarious, do it more."
―[add context]

"Basements—the Las Vegas of houses."
―**Ben**

**Alex**: "And welcome back, so Grizzop's now dead, so cut to—"
**Bryn**: "Shouldn't have wandered off alone, that'll teach ya. I hope your next character doesn't do it."
**Ben**: "It's me, Lonesome Laura."
―Grizzop finds a horde of zombies buried underground in the basement.

"So, you fire your scorching way—way? It's way off. Your *scorching ray* is way off."
―**Alex**

"Gonna try uselessly and hopelessly to stab it again. And since I'm flanking, if I were to hit it, and it were to take any kind of mundane damage, I might do quite some. *[she rolls dice]* This is pointless."
―**Lydia**

**Alex**: "You're starting to feel... quite bad. Like, beyond hangover—"
**Bryn**: "No, no, you feel like a normal person, rather than an awesome person."
**Alex**: "That's what I said, you feel *terrible*. How could anyone live like this?!"
**James *(as Bertie)***: "This is what it must be like to be *common*!"
―Bertie is attacked by a wraith.

**Bryn**: "You look really cool, while missing it completely."
**Alex**: "You're doing that thing you've done previously, you're getting too hung up on the style."
**James**: "It's the fighting equivalent of air guitar."
―[add context]

**Alex**: "Sasha, you're up. Bertie looks tired and pale, he looks wan."
**Lydia *(as Sasha)***: "Don't really care."
―The party (sans Grizzop fights a wraith.

**Hamid**: "Bertie, you seem pretty, uh—"
**Sasha**: "He's got syphilis."
**Bertie**: "I do, but that's irrelevant."
―Bertie is suffering from con drain due to the wraith.

**Alex**: "Honestly, I didn't expect you to go into a slugging match with the thing that every time it touches you makes you weaker."
**James**: "What, what else would ... what else would Bertie do?"
**Alex**: "Ah, I dunno, I dunno."
**James**: "Would he, would he run away?"
**Alex**: "At some point maybe."
**James**: "Because he wouldn't win a running *wraith* (race)"
―Bertie is suffering from con drain due to the wraith.

## Dice rolls and Mechanics

Bertie rolls a strength check: 6.

Grizzop makes a perception check: nat 20.

Sasha makes a climb check: 17.

Sasha makes a climb check: 18.

Sasha makes a perception check: 29.

Hamid casts *acid splash*: 17.

Bertie makes a perception check: nat 20.

Everyone makes a perception check: Hamid gets 13, Bertie gets 13, Sasha gets 18, Grizzop gets a nat 1.

Sasha makes a ranged attack to throw a playing card at Hamid and Grizzop: 22.

Sasha makes a will save: 9.

Everyone makes a perception check: Hamid gets 29, Bertie gets 9, Sasha gets 27, Grizzop gets a 16.

Bertie rolls an attack on the ceiling: 16.

Hamid makes a perception check to find a ladder to the ceiling: 14.

Bertie rolls a knowledge history to see what he knows about old houses: 7.

Grizzop makes a stealth check: 13.

Grizzop makes a perception check: 24.

Bertie rolls a perception check: 4.

Bertie makes a reflex save: 20.

Grizzop makes a perception check: 13.

Grizzop makes a perception check: 9.

Bertie makes a perception check to search the room: 16.

Sasha makes a perception check for traps: 25.

Grizzop makes a reflex save: 16.

## Combat Breakdown

**Surprise Round**

The wraith hits Bertie for 5 damage and 5 constitution drain. Bertie's con is now 11. He makes a reflex save not to fall back down the stairs and succeeds with a 20.

**Initiative:** Bertie (12), Wraith, Sasha (7), Hamid (3), Grizzop

**Round 1**

Bertie: Bertie’s sword warns him that the wraith is going to be rough and Bertie power attacks it. He rolls a 15, which misses.

Wraith: Goes straight for Bertie’s head, but rolls a natural 1 and misses.

Sasha: Makes an acrobatics roll of 25 and successfully gets past Bertie on the staircase. She flanks the wraith and sneak attacks it, but only rolls a 2 and misses.

Hamid: Casts *scorching ray*; rolls a 7 and misses.

Grizzop: Currently in the basement. Rolls 13 for perception and does not realise the others are in combat. Looks for something to dig with.

**Round 2**

Bertie: Attacks the wraith and rolls a 28 to hit. He deals 16 damage.

Wraith: Swings at Bertie again and misses. Bertie taunts it.

Sasha: Stabs the wraith again; rolls a 17 and misses.

Hamid: Casts *magic missile*; deals 12 damage to the wraith.

Grizzop: Continues digging.

**Round 3**

Bertie: Attacks again the wraith again; rolls a 17 and misses.

Wraith: Hits Bertie; dealing 4 negative damage and 1 con drain. Bertie's con is now 10.

Sasha: Stabs again; rolls a 15 and misses.

Hamid: Casts *magic missile* and deals 10 damage.

Grizzop: Continues digging.

**Round 4**

Bertie: Attacks again, rolls a 20 to hit. Deals 9 damage and carves off an arm.

Wraith: Attacks Bertie again and hits. Deals 2 negative damage and 2 con drain. Bertie is down to 8 con.

Sasha: Goes for a stab, gets an 18, and hits. It doesn’t do anything.

Hamid: Casts *magic missile* again and deals 12 damage. The wraith explodes into motes of light.