Batman VS Scorpion

**Batman VS Scorpion** is the eighth episode of DEATH BATTLE! But it's DBX, featuring Batman from the *DC Comics* and Scorpion from the *Mortal Kombat* series in a battle between rivaling fighting game mascots.

## Description

The Caped Crusader goes up against the undead ninja. Only one can survive!

## Interlude

(\*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston\*)

Wiz: Two marquis warriors, arcade rivals since the 90's, now facing off for true superiority.

**Boomstick: Batman, The Dark Knight.**

Wiz: And Scorpion, the ninja from hell.

**Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

## Batman

(\*Cues: Batman Begins - Molossus\*)

Wiz: Throughout the underworld of Gotham City, one name strikes fear in the cold, black hearts of even the most hardened criminals: The Batman.

**Boomstick: But becoming a six-foot flying Rat of Vengeance comes at a cost, for 8 year old Bruce Wayne, it was helplessly watching as his parents were gunned down in front of him on the way back from the Theatre. That poor kid... that Opera really must have scarred him.**

Wiz: Bruce's genius level intellect and physical prowess allowed him to pick up a vast array of skills on his global journey to become The Dark Knight. He became an expert in the art of disguise and a master of every fighting style known to man. He's perfected escape artistry, sword fighting, detective skills, stealth, has a photographic memory, earned 12 Masters degrees, an expert marksman and is vastly knowledgeable in pressure points.

**Boomstick: And we're positive he's not superhuman?**

Wiz: Officially no he's not, but he has learned to appear so in the minds of his opponents.

(\*Cues: Main Title - Batman: The Animated Series\*)

Wiz: Having been trained by The League of Assassins, Batman's greatest weapon is Fear.

**Boomstick: All it takes is a glimpse of that pointy-eared shadow and criminals start shaking in their boots. He can disappear and reappear in an instant thanks to his mastery of stealth and the high-tech gadgets he keeps in his Utility Belt, like his batclaw grappling hook, smoke pellets, tons of different Batarangs, and... shock gloves.**

Wiz: Hey, Don't underestimate the shock gloves. they release a charge powerful enough to penetrate Kevlar, and even stop the heart of one of Batman's most powerful enemies, Bane.

**Boomstick: But then he restarted it because he's nice like that. Bane later said "Thank You" the only way he knew how.**

*(Bane breaks Batman's back.)*

(\*Cues: Attack of the Batwing - Batman (1989)\*)

**Boomstick: I'm surprised Batty didn't pull something out of the Utility Belt to stop that one, considering it seems to contain anything Batman could ever need. Even... shark repellent.**

Wiz: Actually, that's a common misconception, the Shark Repellent was stored in the helicopter that Robin was flying, NOT Batman's Utility Belt.

**Boomstick: Oh yeah, because that makes it SOOO much less ridiculous.**

Wiz: Batman also carries Explosive Gel. A cluster of this substance can be sprayed onto nearly any surface and remotely detonate, perfect for distractions.

**Boomstick: Or you know... BLOWING SHIT UP! Tip for Criminals: if you know Batman's after you, Avoid anything shaped like a Bat.**

*Man 1: Somebody in here?*

*Batman stares at the man, who then closes the door.*

*Man 2: Something Wrong?*

*Man 1: Nope.*

(\*Cues: The Dark Knight Triumphant/ End titles - Batman: The Dark Knight Returns\*)

Wiz: Bruce chose the guise of a Bat to project his own fear of the flying mammal onto his enemies. However, that is not the Batsuit's only purpose.

**Boomstick: Thanks to some Military-Grade Armor he stole from his own company with Morgan Freeman's permission, the batsuit is almost completely bulletproof, knifeproof, electricityproof, punchproof, dogproof and theftproof.**

Wiz: Inside Batman's Cowl is an array of High-Tech Gear commonly used for listening to Police Scanners and Communicating with Allies, but in combat, Batman finds more use in it's Night, Infrared and Ultraviolet Vision, also it's built in Triangulation Imaging System, which hacks into the world's cellphones and creates a Digital 3D Map.

**Boomstick: You mean he can see EVERYTHING I do, just because I have a phone?**

Wiz: More or Less.

**Boomstick: Ask him where I left my keys...**

(\*Cues: Dark Knight - The Dark Knight\*)

Wiz: Aside from Mass Invasion of Privacy, Batman's resume includes such accomplishments as dodging Darkseid's virtually unavoidable Omega Beams, withstanding the vacuum of space for 24 seconds and breaking free from a coffin, buried 6 feet underground, in a straitjacket after being deprived of sleep for days all while having a cocktail of unknown drugs in his system along with The Joker's latest Venom Toxin.

**Boomstick: WHAT THE FUCK?! Are we positive that we're positive he's not superhuman?!**

Wiz: Given his line of work, I wouldn't be surprised if he stumbled into a room filled with Gamma Rays or something like that. But underneath the Batsuit, he is affected by knives and bullets the same as any other mortal man. Even though he usually comes out victorious, his self confidence occasionally put him in life threatening situations he can't escape without help.

**Boomstick: Like Bane's "Thank You Spine Durability Test".**

Wiz: But the Caped Crusader has consistently found a way to survive even the most life threatening situations.

**Boomstick: And Bats has no problem continuously going toe-to-toe with evil in the name of Justice... Vengeance.**

*Batman: From this moment on, none of you are safe...*

## Scorpion

(\*Cues: Unknown Theme\*)

Wiz: From Earthrealm to Outworld there were few who didn´t fear the ruthless clan known as the Lin Kuei.

**Boomstick: Except the Shirai Ryu; a clan with some *serious* balls. Not only do they defect from the Lin Kuei, they mock them on a daily basis by wearing obvious palette-swaps of their clothes. They also like to pull classic pranks like annoying phone calls, TP-ing Lin Kuei homes and constantly slaughtering their loved ones. Haha, got ´em!**

Wiz: From the Shirai Ryu came Hanzo Hasashi, the hellish ninja of vengeance.

(\*Cues: Unknown Theme\*)

Wiz: But before he became the stuff of nightmares, he was once an ordinary young child...whose father just happened to be a deadly assassin. In hopes of sparing him from a violent life of regret and murder, Hanzo´s father forbade him from ever joining the clan.

**Boomstick: Sorry son, you´re not allowed to be awesome.**

(\*Cues: Lower Mines/The Pit - Mortal Kombat Deception\*)

Wiz: However, as time went on, Hanzo became desperate. He needed a way to support not only himself but also his wife and son. Faced with few other options, he reluctantly disobeyed his father and began the life on a ninja assassin.

**Boomstick: As a ninja, Hanzo is exceptionally skilled in Ninjutsu, Pi Gua, Hapkido and numerous secret Chinese martial arts. But it´s his weapon of choice that earned him the nickname Scorpion.**

(\*Cues: Scorpion's Theme - Mortal Kombat 9\*)

*Scorpion: GET OVER HERE!*

\*Fires his kunai spear into Sub-Zero´s head and then tears it right off, letting it fly past him\*

**Boomstick: While his kunai-in-a-rope is iconic and deadly, I´m more partial to whatever the hell that snake creature is that lives in his hand. Well, in whatever form, it impales the opponent and pulls them in close, usually for a *sweet* uppercut to the jaw.**

Wiz: This is similar to an ancient assassination weapon used in the Tang dynasty called the Rope Dart. It´s extremely difficult to master, making Scorpion´s finesse all the more impressive.

**Boomstick: He´s also professioned with several weapons like long swords, twin katanas and axes.**

\*Scorpion knocks Sub-Zero down\*

**Dan Forden: Toasty!**

Wiz: Scorpion´s weaponry and kombat prowess were put to the ultimate test by the legendary Lin Kuei warrior Bi-Han, a.k.a. Sub-Zero.

(\*Cues: Soul Chamber Theme - Mortal Kombat Trilogy\*)

Wiz: And things didn´t go so well for our yellow-clad ninja. Next thing he knew, Scorpion was waking up in the Netherrealm.

**Boomstick: More commonly known as Hell. Bet you wished you listened to Dad now, then maybe you could have ended up in a happier place, with your murdered wife and kid--oh yeah, they´re dead too.**

Wiz: Enraged at Sub-Zero for apparently killing all he´d sworn to protect, Scorpion scored a second chance striking a deal with the sorcerer Quan Chi. In exchange for his loyalty, Scorpion was resurrected as a phantom of the Netherrealm.

(\*Cues: Reptile's Theme (Skrillex) - Mortal Kombat 9\*)

\*Scorpion teleports out of the ground, lands and engulfs himself in flames\*

**Boomstick: And being reborn as a demon of vengeance has its perks. Scorpion can now teleport, summon fire at will and create portals in and out of the Netherrealm he was spawned from, *literally* dragging others to Hell! Whilst there, his +1s can enjoy such tourist locations as Lava Pit and witness the corpse-burning celebration called: The Festival of Torture. Fun times!**

Wiz: The Netherrealm is the source of Scorpion´s demonic power and his strength rises simply by his being there.

**Boomstick: Scorpion is so vicious he can perform no fewer than thirteen different Fatalities.**

Wiz: He can rip a person´s head from their body - *spine included*.

**Boomstick: That´s not something you just *do*, that´s *art* right there.**

Wiz: Rip of his mask to show his true face-

**Boomstick: AAAAAH, WHAT THE FUCK IS *THAT* THING?!?!**

Wiz: And score a kill by transforming into a, well, giant scorpion, of course. ...or a penguin.

**Boomstick: Wait, *WHAT?!***

(\*Cues:Lower Mines/The Pit - Mortal Kombat Deception again\*)

Wiz: And although Scorpion was far from the most powerful combatant in the Mortal Kombat tournament, he has defeated lethal warriors across multiple worlds. He´s conquered sorcerers, demons, cyborgs and eventually avenged his death by incinerating Bi-Han in the Netherrealm.

**Boomstick: But it turns out that that Sub-Zero guy was kind of innocent. The man actually responsible for the death of his family was Quan Chi. You know, that guy he swore himself to and has been working for this whole time? Man, Scorpion's kinda like the Charlie Brown of Mortal Kombat.**

(\*Cues: A Charlie Brown Christmas - Christmas Time is Here (Instrumental)\*)

*Quan Chi knocks Scorpion down a flight of stairs.*

(\*Cues:Sub Zero's Theme - Mortal Kombat Legacy\*)

Wiz: As penance for his mistake, Scorpion dedicated his life after death to protecting the late Sub-Zero's younger brother... Sub-Zero.

**Boomstick: Though he still found time for shooting three's, hitting homers, and hosting his own cooking show!**

*VO: This week on "Cooking with Scorpion", learn about chopping.... (Caption: Yes...this is real...)*

**Boomstick: Yeah, I'm not gonna trust anything that guy makes. Does he even eat anymore?**

Wiz: Aside from his weakness for the culinary arts, Scorpion's win-loss record is not as intimidating as you might think. But consider the outrageous scope of his competition.

**Boomstick: Any way you look at it, its tough to be much more of a badass then a fire-breathing skeleton ninja from Hell.**

*Scorpion: I am Scorpion, vengeance will be mine!*

## Death Battle

**FIGHT!**

**KO!**

## Results

(\*Cues: Mortal Kombat 9 - Shao Kahn's Throne Room\*)

**Boomstick: I'm no chef, but that looks a bit overcooked.**

Wiz: Batman's smoke pellets and shock gloves were incredibly powerful, but raw power alone is not enough to destroy Scorpion.

**Boomstick: Yet Scorpion's advantage of already being dead didn't make this a cakewalk. In fact, Batman had a perfect way to permanently end Scorpion: the soul-protect Batarang. But he could avoid the instant murder move, thanks to his awesome ninja skills and teleportation.**

Wiz: Not to mention Batman has very little experience actually using the Batarang anyway. But most importantly, Scorpion's strength increases the longer he remains in the Netherrealm, with no defining limit. Once trapped in hell with Scorpion, Batman stood little chance in the long run.

**Boomstick: Zero chance if Scorpion just upped and teleported him into a pool of lava, which he could totally do! Scorpion was just too hot to handle.**

Wiz: The Winner is Scorpion.

## Video

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