Answers

**Answers** is the two-hundred eighty-second webisode in the KateModern video series. It is also the one-hundred twenty-seventh video of season two.

## Transcript

**Terrence:** Well, well, well! Been a lot of busy bees buzzing around, haven't there? See, I... did a little bit of housework, (*Shows two VHSC tapes to the camera*.) and I came across some very interesting home videos. (*Grins and puts the tapes down*.) See, I've been thinking: why is it, do you think, that people just can't help but stick their nose into my business? I've just got one of those magnetic personalities, I suppose. Well, without any further ado, I present, for your viewing pleasure, some long awaited answers.

(*Cut to Lauren standing on a rooftop*.)

**Lauren:** Oh, god, what are we doing?

**Jeffrey:** It's gonna be fine. Just do as we say, yeah? Someone's coming!

**Lauren:** Oh, shit. You sure this is gonna work?

**Jeffrey:** Yes. Now go on.

(*Jeffrey ducks behind a vent. Cut to Michelle Clore and her Shadow emerging from the stairwell*.)

**Lauren:** Hey.

**Michelle:** Lauren. So where is he?

**Lauren:** I dunno. He's coming.

**Michelle:** Well, if he wants his drugs, he better show his face pretty quickly. I don't have time for this.

**Lauren:** He'll be here!

**Raymond:** Mate, I'm shitting myself.

**Jeffrey:** Look, just keep your voice down, yeah?

(*Raymond films Michelle and her Shadow as they wait. The Shadow scratches his head and Michelle turns to Lauren*.)

**Michelle:** You know, I was wondering when I'd have another chance to see you. You're quite the little novelty now with your artificial trait positivity. Seems the other girls met with some kind of unfortunate accident. You're especially lucky to be alive after what you did to me last time. Not many people have touched me and lived to tell the tale, I can assure you. (*Plays with Lauren's hair*.)

(*Lauren glares at Michelle as she walks away. Michelle sighs and looks at her watch*.)

**Michelle:** This is ridiculous. If he can't be bothered to turn up, that's his problem. We're going. Get her.

(*The Shadow moves toward Lauren*.)

**Lauren:** Don't touch me!

(*The Shadow slaps Lauren and throws her over his shoulder. He heads toward the door*.)

**Lauren:** Get off! Ow! Get off me! Let me go!

**Michelle:** Take her to the car and come back for this.

**Lauren:** Put me down now!

(*Terrence appears at the door, wielding a golf club. The Shadow drops Lauren and Terrence hits him in the face with the club. He continues to beat the Shadow until he is unconscious and turns to Lauren*.)

**Terrence:** Evening, all.

**Michelle:** It didn't have to be this way. What are you doing?

**Terrence:** Well, you know what I'm like. You probably shouldn't have invited me.

**Michelle:**But you asked *me* to come here, Terrence.

**Terrence:** Uh, no. Well, you see, the funny thing is I didn't even take Lauren. It wasn't me.

**Michelle:**What?

(*Jeffrey steps out from behind the vent, wearing a hat and glasses, wielding a machine gun*.)

**Jeffrey:** We will bring down the Order!

(*Jeffrey shoots into the air and the camera swings wildly. When it focuses on the rooftop, Michelle, Terrence are lying on the ground. Raymond looks at Jeffrey, who looks stunned*.)

**Jeffrey:** We did it! (*Raymond pans back to the bodies*.) We really did it!

(*Raymond looks nervously at the bodies. He pans over the bodies and then to Lauren, who is standing nervously nearby*.)

**Lauren:** I can't handle this. (*Runs to the stairs*.)

(*A click is heard and footage of Jeffrey and Raymond begins to roll in sepia tone while Terrence voices over*.)

**Terrence:** No idea who they were? Well, neither did I, at first. But I made sure I found out. (*Cut to footage from Who Are The FTO?*.) They called themselves the FTO - I think that stood for "Fight The Order", and they're very creative, these lads. A pair of nerdy kids in a bedroom, who spent more time on the Internet than out trying to talk to girls.

(*Cut to footage from Enter The Order*.) Turns out that one of their uncles was that creepy old Dr. Griffin, (*Cut to footage from The Message*.) and his cousin was pancake Dudley. No idea who they were? Well, to be honest, I had to cast my mind back. (*Cut to footage from the rooftop*.) Anyway, these lot bit off a lot more than they can ever chew into.

(*Cut to Terrence*.)

**Terrence:** Would you believe it? Those cheeky little bastards! Well, I can't have that, now can I? (*Turns the camera to show Jeffrey and Raymond bound and gagged*.) I'm very disappointed in you two. You have to learn to finish people off!

(*Terrence grabs a plastic bag from the floor and shows it to his prisoners*.)

Here we are. It's a little goody bag, isn't it, eh? (*Jeffrey looks nervously at Raymond*.) Uh, unfortunately, it's not food, but it is fun. (*Laughs*.) Here we go.

(*Terrence walks to the other side of the room. He sets the camera down on a table as he opens the bag. Jeffrey and Raymond look on, scared, as Terrence rummages through the bag and takes out a blow torch. Terrence can be heard lighting the blow torch. Terrence picks up the camera and the blow torch slowly appears in the frame as Jeffrey and Raymond struggle and scream*.)

**Terrence:** I'll have a go at making my first art video. (*Turns the camera on himself*.) Oh, and, uh, Lauren, uh, you're next.

(*Terrence laughs as he shows the lit blow torch to the screaming Jeffrey and Raymond*.)