The Onslaught

**The Onslaught** is the 7th episode of Kong Does It Again.

## Plot

*Hearty, Calligraphy, and R.I.C are all seen drawing on the same piece of paper with crayons on the kitchen table.*

**R.I.C.:** It's been awhile since our last elimination! Who do you think got voted out?

**Calligraphy:** Hmmm... Beisel Globuley has never been much of a team leader. Maybe it was him.

**R.I.C.:** No way! Even if that's true, I think it was Toxic Mushroom. That guy is just too rough.

**Hearty:** Whatever happens, I'm fine... as long as my Calligraphy isn't out!

*Hearty smooches Calligraphy again.*

**R.I.C.:** I don't mean to be mean, but every time I'm with you guys, I feel like I am the third wheel. Are you sure you aren't in love?

**Hearty:** Don't be silly. It's just that no one else likes it when I do it!

**Calligraphy:** Hah... yeah.

*Jimmy Kong walks into frame.*

**Jimmy Kong:** It's elimination time, everybody! Come to the backyard.

*The scene transitions to the Manatees waiting anxiously.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Hello, Manatees! My T-shirt cannon is out of ammo, so today's prizes will be cupcakes.

**Domino:** Wow! A good prize!

**Jimmy Kong:** Today, we got sixteen votes, which is less than last time. If it goes down again, I'll tear out my own gall bladder. As a result of this, a lot of you got no votes, including Alarm Clock, Poorly-Made Card, Beisel Globuley, Hearty, Four 2.0, Calligraphy, and Domino. Congrats!

*Jimmy Kong throws out cupcakes to the contestants with no votes, some being caught and others falling to the floor or in people's faces.*

**Jimmy Kong:** R.I.C., Ilobulus, and Poke Egg got a vote each. They're safe.

*Jimmy Kong throws three cupcakes. Poke Egg doesn't catch theirs, R.I.C.'s lands in their cup, and Ilobulus catches his successfully.*

**Ilobulus:** Boy, is it cool to have arms!

**Poke Egg:** Grrr!

**Ilobulus:** Haw haw.

**Jimmy Kong:** Toxic Mushroom, you got two votes.

*Jimmy Kong throws Toxic Mushroom a cupcake. He waits.*

**Jimmy Kong:** What, aren't you going to get angry or something?

*Toxic Mushroom has already began eating his cupcake, with frosting on his face.*

**Toxic Mushroom:** What? No.

**Jimmy Kong:** Bracelety and Tire! One of you is safe with three votes, and the other is eliminated with eight. Safe with three votes is...

**Jimmy Kong:** Bracelety!

*Tire looks down and sighs.*

**Tire:** It was inevitable.

**Jimmy Kong:** Goodbye, Tire. We hardly knew ye.

*Jimmy Kong presses a button on his remote and Tire explodes.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Now that we have that over with, who wants to see me take out the trash!

*Everybody cheers. The shot cuts to Jimmy walking out of the front door with a garbage bag while everybody else follows closely.*

**Contestants:** TRASH! TRASH! TRASH! TRASH!

*Jimmy Kong stops dead in his tracks to see the bent-up garbage can glowing green.*

**Jimmy Kong:** GREEN STARRY! WEASEL! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE??

*Green Starry hops out of the trash can, Wesley following closely behind him.*

**Green Starry:** We're BFCC veterans, Kong! Wesley's been hanging around before even Mister Snake has!

**Jimmy Kong:** That statement is profoundly wrong.

**Green Starry:** Come on, old friend. Can't you open up and let us in? We would love to compete.

**Wesley:** The trash can is awfully smelly.

*Jimmy Kong ponders for a moment.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Fine! Green Starry, Wesley, for hounding me on my property so frequently, you are official KDIA contestants!

*Green Starry and Wesley cheer, and then high-five.*

**Jimmy Kong:** And now you're officially disqualified!

**Wesley:** What?

*Jimmy Kong presses a button on his remote, blowing up Green Starry and Wesley.*

**Computery:** Which team were they on?

**Jimmy Kong:** Les Explosifs.

**Computery:** Oh no guys! We just lost two members!

**Cola:** We gained two members right before that happened, Computery.

**Red Velvet:** Wesley, my dear friend, you will be sorely missed. We didn't know you for long, and you spent most of your time in a garbage can, but I would never give up the moments we shared. You brought us food from Checkers, which was delicious, and your funny antics never failed to make us laugh. I'm impartial to Green Starry, because I never really talked to him, but he was a very cool guy too, and I'm sure the BFCC players liked him or something. But Wesley, you were a good man, and we will never for-

**Poke Egg:** Hey, what's that blue stuff rolling in over there?

*Everybody looks to the right to see a cloud of transparent blue gas rolling in. The sky is darkening.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Everybody in!

**Domino:** Huh?

**Jimmy Kong:** Everybody in, quick!

*The contestants rush in, closing the door behind them as the gas gets closer to the house. Jimmy Kong rushes over to the closet.*

**Jimmy Kong:** I knew this would happen again, I knew this would happen again!

**Beisel Globuley:** What?

**Jimmy Kong:** The amnestic gas, damnit! Everybody put one of these on!

*Jimmy Kong drags a box out of the closet full of gas masks. Everybody starts putting them on, including him.*

**Knot:** These fit surprisingly well.

**Jimmy Kong:** I'm not letting us forget everything again. It just can't happen.

**Eraser Cap:** Jimmy? Why are we wearing the masks if we're inside?

**Jimmy Kong:** The gas is already seeping through that cracked window.

*The contestants all look over to a window by the front door, which the blue gas is slowly rolling into. It starts filling up the whole house.*

**Long-Name:** We shouldn't have invited Wesley in to play checkers.

**Jimmy Kong:** Whatever the case is, we're going to have to find a way out of here. I don't know how long this gas is going to persist, but I won't let us succumb to this a second time.

*Poorly-Made Card is seen looking through the window. They turn around to face Jimmy Kong.*

**Poorly-Made Card:** Jimmy? I don't think this is the amnestic gas.

**Jimmy Kong:** What makes you say that?

*Jimmy Kong opens the front door, only to see the weasel from the house across the street. It's body is contorting in strange ways as it moves towards the house, and it has no visible pupils.*

**Bracelety:** It's like he's a zombie!

**Jimmy Kong:** ...I'll take care of it.

*Jimmy Kong takes his remote and points it at the weasel. It does nothing. He clicks it a couple more times.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Damnit! My remote doesn't work in this fog! I'll have to get closer to it.

*Jimmy Kong edges closer to the contorting weasel.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Come here... you're cool... I don't want to hu-

*The weasel hisses and bites Jimmy Kong's leg.*

**Jimmy Kong:** OW! AGH! JESUS!

*Jimmy Kong grabs the weasel and breaks its neck, dropping it at the floor.*

**Mister Snake:** You probably should've used one of those guns you have in that box.

**Jimmy Kong:** ...yeah. Probably. Let's hope I don't turn into a weasel or something. Hey, I have an idea for today's challenge!

**Alarm Clock:** Seriously? Still? We're in the middle of an apocalypse.

**Jimmy Kong:** I have priorities. Anyways, since we're in an apocalypse, I'd say having some weapons is in order. But I have a limited number of handguns, so today's challenge will determine who gets to have one. I have a bunch of gun targets lying around for some reason, so we will be shooting those.

*The shot cuts to the contestants in the middle of the street, with Bubble Chat holding a gun with his mouth. A shooting target is stationed a little further down the road.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Shoot the target correctly and you'll be eligible. Whichever team has the most eligible people, wins. Go!

**Bubble Chat:** How do I shoot with no limbs? :(

**Jimmy Kong:** Oh yeah. Limbless and armless people, make do.

*Bubble Chat tries to fire the gun, but drops it.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Sorry, but no. Cola is next.

*Cola shoots the gun and hits the target, although misses the figure on it.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Eligible enough! Computery is next.

*The gun is shown stationed on Computery's keyboard.*

**Computery:** I don't know what you want from me.

*Eraser Cap is shown aiming the gun carefully at the target. They fire, and miss entirely.*

**Eraser Cap:** Darnit!

**Jimmy Kong:** You were supposed to hit it. Fish Bowly, I know you have no arms, but maybe Floppy could give it a try?

**Fish Bowly:** Floppy didn't get a gas mask, and now he's dead.

**Jimmy Kong:** I would've had one custom-made for him if I knew he needed one. I'm very sorry. Isotope, you go!

**Isotope:** Alright. Calculating distance... wind spee-

**Jimmy Kong:** Everybody knows you're smart already. Get on with it!

**Isotope:** Whatever.

*Isotope fires the gun, hitting the target perfectly.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Damn! Alright, you're eligible. Knot, could you do it?

*Knot takes the gun from Isotope, and another gun from the box.*

**Knot:** Not only can I do it, I can dual wield!

*Knot aims both guns at the target. Only one fires.*

**Jimmy Kong:** I don't know how you didn't realize that only one of those was loaded, but I'll mark you as eligible. Alright, Long-Name, prove to me you're good at something.

**Long-Name:** Easy!

*Long-Name takes the gun and fires it, missing dead-on.*

**Long-Name:** GODDAMNIT SON OF A-

**Jimmy Kong:** We already know that Mister Snake is a world renowned weapons expert, so let's move on.

**Domino:** What? How does he hold the gun?

*Mister Snake is shown holding the gun with his tail, which is sticking way up into the air.*

**Domino:** Got it.

**Jimmy Kong:** Night Cap, I'm excited that this apocalypse has you awake. But could you shoot this target?

**Night Cap:** I'll do my best!

*Night Cap carefully lines up the gun with the target. He fires it and hits, but falls backward doing so.*

**Jimmy Kong:** You hit it, but the recoil might be a little much for you. Not eligible.

**Night Cap:** Aw.

**Jimmy Kong:** Red Velvet, will you give it a shot?

**Red Velvet:** Do you see a pair of arms on me?

**Jimmy Kong:** Fair enough, I won't hold it against you. USB, you give it a shot.

*USB takes the handgun and shoots the target. It hits it dead-on.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Excellent aim! Manatees, you're next. You just need six eligible people, and you'll have beaten the Explosifs. Alarm Clock, you start.

*Jimmy places the gun on top of Alarm Clock. He stands idly.*

**Jimmy Kong:** I was stupid for thinking that would do anything. Beisel Globuley, you're next.

*Beisel Globuley takes the gun and shoots the target.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Wow! Since when are you good at anything?

**Beisel Globuley:** Shut up.

**Jimmy Kong:** Bracelety, you are next.

*Bracelety takes the gun and fires it. It shoots the figure on the gun target directly in the crotch.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Nice one!

**Bracelety:** You try being this short.

**Jimmy Kong:** Calligraphy, yo- where's Calligraphy?

*Calligraphy is shown hiding behind a trash can, breathing heavily in their gas mask.*

**Jimmy Kong:** Get over here!

**Calligraphy:** I'm too scared of guns.

**Jimmy Kong:** Fine! Domino's ne-

**Domino:** Jimmy I don't trust myself with one of those things.

**Jimmy Kong:** WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH SISSIES? Four 2.0! I know you'll come through for me.

*Four 2.0 fires a laser directly at the target, burning a hole through it.*

**Jimmy Kong:** You didn't use the gun, but I'll still mark you down as eligible. Hearty, I KNOW you won't make it, but you should do your best anyway.

*Hearty fires the gun, but rockets backwards upon doing so. They miss.*

**Jimmy Kong:** I knew the recoil would get you. Ilobulus I know you can't do it ei-

*Ilobulus takes the gun from Hearty and fires with no hesitation. It hits the target dead-on.*

**Jimmy Kong:** I'm very sorry sir.

**Ilobulus:** That's right.

**Jimmy Kong:** Poke Egg, you've got no legs... Poorly-Made Card is paper so I know the recoil is going to get them... R.I.C., you try!

*R.I.C. holds the gun in their mouth and pulls the trigger with their tongue. It hits the head of the target. They drop the gun.*

**R.I.C.:** Did I do it?

**Jimmy Kong:** You ACED it! That was impressive. Toxic Mushroom, give it a go.

*Toxic Mushroom picks up the gun and fires it. It hits the figure on the target directly in the heart.*

**Toxic Mushroom:** Of course I can do it.

**Jimmy Kong:** Alright, everybody! We have the eleven eligible contestants. Let me check to see how many boxes of ammo I have.

*Jimmy Kong looks in his box of weapons and ammo and gets nervous.*

**Jimmy Kong:** I... uh...

**Toxic Mushroom:** What's wrong?

**Jimmy Kong:** That was all the ammo we had.

*The contestants groan.*

**Bracelety:** All of that was for nothing!

**Jimmy Kong:** That being said, the Manatees beat the Explosifs just narrowly. Vote for any of these people in the comments:

* Bubble Chat
* Cola
* Computery
* Eraser Cap
* Fish Bowly
* Isotope
* Knot
* Long-Name
* Mister Snake
* Night Cap
* Red Velvet
* USB

**Jimmy Kong:** Voting ends December 21st! Goodbye. Guys, here's hoping this apocalypse ends soon.

*A laugh resonates throughout the area, and everybody looks around to find the source. Mister Snake realizes something.*

**Mister Snake:** Guys?