E10.

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Hey y'all, e10. here- are you about three large footsteps away from the grave? Need to kill time before you go kathunk in a casket? Might I suggest learning to talk about video games. What else would I do at my funeral? If it wasn't for talking about video games, I'd be happy. It takes a lot of no shame to do, so tell me- are you gonna learn how to talk about video games or are you gonna have integrity?

## Basics

Look at this, this is your life now.

The first step to talking about video games is not playing video games and I cannot stress that enough, why be a video game player when you can make silly comments about 'em? It's the same sentiment I have towards the working class, so put the controller down and repeat after me:

> *"This game is f\*cking bullsh\*t."*
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## Engagement Techniques

Video games are art and have been one of the leading ways for artists to express themselves in recent memory- discussing them is completely warranted! But if you're worried about losing the listener's attention during, make sure to spice things up by making funny random noises (gurgles).

While discussing said video game, don't be afraid to not talk about video games while talking about video games for roughly five to 10 minutes while you act out some kind of a skit, make sure it isn't funny! Some people call this a waste of time, I call it a fill-buster.

You got to have your arch-nemesis game, one you just can't escape from. Sure, you could just not play it- but then what would I have to do tomorrow?

Hey, it's been a while since that random noise (gargles), still there?

Stand in front of your game collection to announce your resignation from society.

It's a good thing to yell a lot, people won't take you seriously if you aren't screaming, I call this the Thanksgiving dinner approach.

Now it's really important to act like you're better than the game you're talking about, this can be achieved with a few "Who made this?" and "What is this game?"- but if you don't know what to say, you can always just start acting awkward and give yourself a double chin.

> *"So on to the next one, which is the one after the that one, the next one is the (stammers), it's the one."*
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## Swearing

Swearing. Yes. Swearing is the genetic staple of the video game player. You truly play video games if you can say "f\*ck" about them, and if you aren't willing to say "f\*ck" uncensored- get the "f\*ck" out of here.

## Correct Opinions

You have to have an opinion on every game, the *right* opinion. You have to play every game too, and like every game- *except for the bad ones!*

if you you mess up one of these- play it off as a joke, maybe make a funny quip about it and shake some yellow text around you to prove you're serious about being funny.

**FUNNY MOMENT!**

## Comedy

And you can't just talk about video games, you got to be funny- especially if you're not funny. That way you can deflect criticisms by stating you shouldn't be taken seriously.

If you need to be seen playing video games, hold the controller as close to your chin as possible and frown. Can you tell the controller's not even plugged in?

Are you better than the person listening- no, but you have more Wii U games than them, so always remind them of that.

React accordingly to anything happening on screen, i.e. scream (screams).

And when you start talking games with people, make sure to not see them there.

> *"Oh, hi, I didn't see you there."*
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## Reasearch

You have to do your research and get everything right about *"Mega Man 4"*. If you don't- well boy, you look like an idiot.

If someone pays you to talk about a video game, don't act like you already have integrity. Maybe you could gather various like minded people together and pose a threat, like, watch yourself or I'll start a podcast!

Feel free to really express some emotions here. You're talking about video games for God's sake, I'd cry too if I were talking about "Mario Party".

If you're having a hard time crafting your own things to say about these games, never count out plagiarism, it's a myth anyways, the alphabet's not copyrighted sh\*t. Of course, everybody has their own opinion and that's the way it should be, there's never going to be a right or wrong one to have on a video game- and when someone disagrees with you, you can always call them a b\*tch over email.

## Closing Words

And that just about covers what you need to know to talk about video games, you truly have what it takes to waste your time! Of course you need to know when to stop talking so might I suggest a poignant stinger to end things before you get all blue? So grab a dictionary and find a random string of words that you think would work well together: "I", "own", "more"... "Wii U games than you"- wow, it's like fate.

## External Links

* e10.'s YouTube channel.
* e10.'s Tumblr blog.