recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Grenade

Grenade is the co-host of Object Trouble. He is the second-highest authority, below Plug, and acts as an obstacle or judge in some contests.

## Personality

Grenade is an obedient and objective person to Plug. He appears to also to have, like Plug, a happiness for hurting the contestants in the form of contests, as seen in Episode 3. Grenade can't tolerate stupidity.

## Appearance

Despite being a grenade, Grenade's body consists of a green-colored bomb. He has the characteristic that all grenades have, which is a safety pin, located at the top.

## Trivia

* Grenade is explosive, however it is unknown if he can actually explode from rage.
* Grenade would actively avoid fire.
* Grenade has a semi-hateful, one-sided grudge against Coal for blowing him up in Episode 1.
* Grenade does a yearly sulfur bath to refresh himself. If he doesn't do this, his outer body dies.
Aion

### Friends

Vasil, Chaos, Despoina, Hades, Thanatos, Elysphorus (Tartarus (God), Elysium (God), Asphodel (God) )

## Physical Description

### Height

10ft

> 'TBA'
>
>

## Appearance

Gray skin. Long navy blue hair. Moss green eyes. Typically wears gold body jewelry with pearls. And gold arm bracelets. And a green bejeweled snake down his back

## Personality

Aion is very timid, shy, and antisocial though he enjoys watching others be happy and energetic. He doesn't express much emotion as he's seen the faults over and over of both humans and gods. He keeps to himself unless a friend of his drags him somewhere else, but is very independent

## Abilities

He can use the influence of each zodiac to manipulate a situation or his surroundings. His powers are influenced by his spherical astrolabe compass
Philomena

> 'TBA'
>
>

## Overview

Philomena is the goddess of Existential thought and Philosophy.

## Appearance

Philomena is a goddess of average height and build, long hair that moves on its own, tan skin and silver eyes.

## Personality

A woman of culture, Philomena is a soft spoken being who would rather spend their time alone in the woods all day than worrying about the Olympians and their usual antics. She enjoys spending time among humans and learning more about them, unbothered by being worshipped. She is a great conversationalist, and she will quickly show that they are well aware of the world’s needs.

## Abilities

She doesn’t have many powers besides immortality, however she has great intellect and capacity to learn from others.

## Notes

* She was born from the moment Prometheus gave the gift of knowledge to man
* She is a pacifist by nature
* She often wonders if humanity was created by the gods or if it’s the other way around.
* She is a nudist. Not necessarily because of a kink, but simply because she prefers showcasing her natural form
* She will let anyone who comes near her forest stay for as long as they need. She doesn’t mind the company.
Bowl (attribute)

Bowl Wassies are Wassies which are identifiable by their peculiar choice of headwear: bowls scavenged from kitchens. These curious creatures utilize the bowls for various purposes, often leading to comical and sometimes disastrous consequences for themselves and others.

Bowl Wassies have been known to employ their newfound headwear for a variety of purposes. Some may pretend to be a salad or a meal, using the bowl as camouflage to blend in with their surroundings, often unsuccessfully. Others use the bowls to cover their eyes, either to improve their sleep or to engage in games of hide and seek with fellow Wassies. Unfortunately, their attempts at hiding are often thwarted by the fact that their bowl-laden heads remain visible to others.

The choice of headwear can lead to a host of problems for Wassies who choose to sport bowls. The added weight and size of the bowl can cause them to lose their balance, leading to comical but often disastrous falls, spills, and collisions. In their attempts to blend in with their environment, Bowl Wassies have been known to topple off countertops, sending dishes crashing to the floor or accidentally becoming part of a human meal.
The Wiggles Spring 2005 Tour

The Wiggles Spring 2005 Tour toured around Canada in 2005.

## Songs

1. Overture
2. Toot Toot, Chugga Chugga, Big Red Car
3. Look Both Ways
4. Rock-A-Bye Your Bear
5. The Monkey Dance
6. Can You (Point Your Fingers and Do the Twist?)
7. Lights, Camera, Action, Wiggles!
8. Move Your Arms Like Henry
9. We're Dancing with Wags the Dog
10. C'est Wags, C'est Bon
11. Mop Mop
12. Sailing Around the World (Some shows)
13. Wiggle Bay
14. Dancing In The Sand
15. Swim Like A Fish
16. Fruit Salad
17. Anthony's Workshop
18. Hoop Dee Doo
19. Where's Jeff?
20. Play Your Guitar with Murray
21. Dorothy (Would You Like To Dance?)
22. Romp Bomp A Stomp
26. Dance A Cachuca
27. Caveland
28. Captain Feathersword Fell Asleep on His Pirate Ship (Quack Quack)
29. Eagle Rock
30. Hot Potato
31. The Wiggle Owl Medley

## Canadian Dates

* April 28, 2005 Vancouver, BC Canada PNE Coliseum
* April 30, 2005 Edmonton, AB Canada Rexall Place
* May 1, 2005 Calgary, AB Canada Pengrowth Saddledome
* May 3, 2005 Saskatoon, SK Canada Credit Union Center
* May 5, 2005 Winnipeg, MB Canada MTS Centre
Shingo Mitzurugi - Wassie 11878

Dong! The great brass bell high on the Temple of Holda Gigarekt tolled across the land. Dong! Again it rang, its clarion call seeming to bounce from the flagstones of the courtyard, to echo around and reverberate, filling the air with it’s sonorous chime, even in the silence between peals.

Dong!

Shingo Mitzurugi stood still. He was balanced, his breathing slow and even. His pulse regular within his incomprehensibly invertebrate body. His weight rested forward on the balls of his soft feet. Soft feet that were perfect for grip, balance and poise.

Dong!

He had been training his whole life for this, all seven and a half days. His eyes were covered, as he needed to reach out with all his senses. The katana seemed to rest awkwardly in his hand. They said he had ‘failed’ to grasp it. Ha! How little they knew. It was perfectly balanced, exactly the way he wanted it.

Dong!

They surged forward with the ringing of the bell, as he knew they would. They were silent, but he felt the air move against their bodies as they swept towards him. In an instant he was moving, the katana sliding backward in his hand to impale the attack from behind, just as he had planned, before blurring in an arc and into his outstretched flipper. He could not grip a katana, but he had not trained to grip a katana. He slapped the blade back and forth between his flippers in a dizzying whirl, a flashing darting pinwheel of death that never failed to find its mark. In seconds it was over.

Dong!

Someone in the crowd gave a shout of !slice and applause rent the silence asunder. Shingo lifted his wooly hat and smiled at the other Wassies picking themselves from the floor. They were bruised but alive, his katana merely a wooden practice sword. Some nodded to him in respect, others scowled.

An elderly Wassie, all of 12 days, shuffled forward, the sparkle shaman sigil bright on this chest. Shingo bowed.

“Arise, sparkle sage,” said the shaman, and touched Shingu on the chest. Shingo’s sparkle sigil shimmered to silver, and a new chapter in his smol life began.
The Wiggles Big Show! (2017 Tour)

The Wiggles Big Show! toured around Canada in 2017.

## Songs

1. Do the Skeleton Scat!
2. Michael Finnegan
3. ABC
4. Who Got Da Bones?
5. Pappadum
6. I'll Tell Me Ma
7. Joannie Works with One Hammer
8. Five Little Monkeys
9. Round and Round the Garden
10. Emma's Yellow Bow
11. Captain Feathersword Fell Asleep on His Pirate Ship (Quack Quack)
12. Solomon Grundy
13. Rock-A-Bye Your Bear
14. Fruit Salad
15. Toot Toot, Chugga Chugga, Big Red Car
16. Hot Potato
17. Romp Bomp A Stomp
18. Dorothy Pas De Deux
19. Open, Shut Them
20. Incy Wincy Spider
21. Henry's Dance
22. Baa-Baa Black Sheep
23. Five Fingered Family
24. If You're Happy and You Know It
25. The Highland Fling
26. Simon Says
27. Ready, Steady, Wiggle!
28. Can You (Point Your Fingers and Do the Twist?)
29. There Was A Princess
30. Ballerina, Ballerina
31. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
32. Do the Propeller!

## Canadian Dates

* September 27, 2017 Halifax, NS Scotiabank Centre
* September 28, 2017 Moncton, NB Théâtre Capitol Theatre
* September 29, 2017 Fredericton, NB Fredericton Playhouse
* October 1, 2017 Quebec City, QC Théâtre Capitole
* October 4, 2017 Montreal, QC Théâtre St-Denis
* October 5, 2017 Ottawa, ON Meridian Theatres @ Centrepointe
* October 7, 2017 Toronto, ON Sony Centre for the Performing Arts
* October 8, 2017 Hamilton, ON FirstOntario Concert Hall at Hamilton Place Theatre
* October 10, 2017 Brantford, ON Sanderson Centre
* October 11, 2017 London, ON Centennial Hall
* October 12, 2017 Kitchener, ON Centre in the Square
* October 13, 2017 Burlington, ON The Burlington Performing Arts Centre
* October 15, 2017 Cornwall, ON Aultsville Theatre
* October 16, 2017 Belleville, ON The Empire Theatre
* October 17, 2017 Brampton, ON Rose Theatre Brampton
* October 18, 2017 Guelph, ON River Run Centre
* October 20, 2017 Peterborough, ON Showplace Performance Centre
* October 21, 2017 Sudbury, ON Sudbury Community Arena
* October 23, 2017 Winnipeg, MB Burton Cummings Theatre
* October 24, 2017 Brandon, MB Western Manitoba Centennial Auditorium
* October 26, 2017 Saskatoon, SK TCU Place
* October 27, 2017 Lloydminster, AB Vic Juba Community Theatre
* October 28, 2017 Edmonton, AB Northlands Coliseum
* October 30, 2017 Red Deer, AB Red Deer Memorial Centre
* October 31, 2017 Calgary, AB Jack Singer Concert Hall
* November 2, 2017 Vernon, BC Vernon & District Performing Arts Centre
* November 4, 2017 Vancouver, BC The Centre For Performing Arts
Spikies

Spiky Wassies (colloquially known as Spikies) are a strain of Wassie identified by the porcupine-like texture of their fur.

Spikies live a somewhat unfortunate existence (even for Wassies). When Spikies were first observed by Wassie researchers, it was hypothesized that they were 'alpha Wassies' given their propensity to venture further out into the wilderness often away from other Wassie strains, with their spikes acting as a defense mechanism from predators as long as a mating signal. This theory fell apart upon further discovery that Wassies do not breed and Spikies are actually outcasts (not Outcasts) from their communities.

Spikies are generally shunned by Wassie social groups due to the texture of their fur (in contrast to Fuzzies) which can cause fatal injuries to other Wassies given the general clumsiness of the species. They are thus often forced to become lone wolves roaming outside of Wassie communities even though they are neither more courageous than other Wassies or possess a more adventurous spirit. The only reason for their solitary behavior is that they are exiles. Spikies are still naturally social creatures and groups of Spikies have been identified in the wild (though with a higher than normal prevalence of injury and blindness).

The spikes on Spikies however accord them with a longer than average lifespan in the wilderness as predators are less likely to target them. Non-Wassie predators that attempt to do so however tend to find Spikies to be quite easy prey given the fact that the spikes actually soften when Spikies are scared.
Crown (attribute)

At first glance, the regal-looking crown may dazzle onlookers and lead to the crowned Wassie developing feelings of authority, dominance, and superiority. However, behind all the glamor of the crown belies a curse upon the Wassie. The crown impairs the Wassie's vision by covering its eyes, making it almost impossible for it to move about. Its heavy weight significantly impacts mobility and its downward pointing extensions which poke into the Wassies beak and skin inflicts continuous and ongoing physical pain on the Wassie.

Thankfully, the curse is often short-lived. The shiny crown functions like a beacon for other covetous Wassies, who look to claim the crown for their own. As crowned Wassies are often not in position to resist, crowns are easily stolen off their heads, lifting their burden as the new owner gleefully dons the crown on its own head.
Король Людвиг I Статный

Король **Людвиг I**, по прозвищу **Статный** *(6729, неизвестно - 6763, Старый дворец) -* Западный король (6730-6763) из династии Аргонингов. Сын Осуальда II Коротконого. Соправитель Зигмунда I Ваудского (до 6749 года). Выиграв битву при Вауде, в ходе которой был убит его двоюродный брат Зигмунд, одержал победу в Четвёртых братских борениях (6745-6749).

Сыновей не имел.
Knives (attribute)

If you give a Wassie a knife - there can only be one outcome.

Although Wassies enjoy playing with sharp objects, their terrible dexterity and complete lack of common sense means that any knives a Wassie has access to will eventually end up lodged in a Wassie. Although a grotesque sight, Wassies have thick skin and a pea-sized brain which means that even a knife stuck directly through a Wassie's skull does not actually negatively impact a Wassie.

Although not a widespread practice, certain sadistic humans and Outcasts are known to have used Wassies as knife blocks. An embedded knife also functions as a nifty handle with which to lift a Wassie as it actually takes significant force to pull a knife out of a Wassie.
Sailor hat (attribute)

The Sailor Hat is a hat sported by certain Wassies. Sailor Wassies seem to have an innate longing for the sea, despite having zero seafaring experience (beyond being washed out in the Great Flood). Donning their sailor hats, they fancy themselves adventurous little mariners, embracing a lifestyle reminiscent of the seafarers of old.

Sailor Wassies are known for their spirited attempts to mimic the salty language of sailors, but their efforts often result in a playful, nonsensical gibberish that is as adorable as it is puzzling. When multiple Sailor Wassies come together, they form a comical crew of makeshift mariners, crafting rudimentary boats from cardboard and makeshift sails from any material they can find. While their vessels are far from seaworthy, their enthusiasm and determination are unshakable.

Most of these Wassies do not live anywhere near the sea but they are drawn to anything even resembling water, even bowls of hummus left out in the open. They'll eagerly board their fragile ships and pretend to sail across the creamy surface, often getting themselves stuck in the process. Sailor Wassies also have a peculiar fondness for pickle juice, which they consume with gusto, leading to animated scuffles and the singing of incomprehensible sea shanties in their own unique language.

In true seafaring spirit, Sailor Wassies are also regrettably prone to bouts of mutiny. Unfortunately, their limited intelligence often leads to hilarious failures as they attempt to overthrow inanimate objects they perceive as oppressive "captains."

One particularly amusing incident involved a Sailor Wassie crew staging a revolt against a stuffed parrot, which they deemed too authoritarian in its imaginary squawks. As they tried to hoist the stuffed bird up the mast of their makeshift ship, they tangled themselves in dental floss, ultimately suspending themselves alongside the parrot until the Wassies eventually died, tormented by the ongoing (imaginary) squawks of the stuffed parrot.
ByWassies Wiki

**Welcome to the ByWassies Wiki!**
Wassies by Wassies

We're a collaborative community website about ByWassies that anyone, including you, can build and expand. Wikis like this one depend on readers getting involved and adding content. Click the "ADD NEW PAGE" or "EDIT" button at the top of any page to get started!

## Important articles

WassiesWassietopia

*Need help building out this community?*

* Rules of this wiki
* Getting Started
* How to Contribute
* Managing your new community
* Guides
* All Help articles

You can also be part of the larger Fandom family of communities. Visit Fandom's Community Central!

*Community Founders*: Write a good and paragraph-length description for your welcome section about your topic. Let your readers know what your topic is about and add some general information about it. Then you should visit the admin dashboard for more tips.
Snail Wassies

Likely the result of some radioactive mollusk DNA being spliced in when first spawned, Snail Wassies ('Snails' for short) are incredibly similar in morphology to the average garden snail. Featuring a coiled shell which they carry on their back and moving about via a slimy snail-like 'foot' instead of feet, Snails are extremely slow both physically and mentally.

The coiled shells of Snails are not functional. They are not large enough for the Wassie to retract into it for protection and even if it were, it would not provide much protection because the shells are heavy (by Wassie standards) but incredibly brittle and there are recorded occasions of a Snail's shell simply imploding in the presence of poor singers with high pitched voices. Strangely enough, Snails tend to find a place in Wassie communities (particularly nomadic Wassie communities) because Wassies seem willing to carry Snails to compensate for their incredibly limited mobility.

Snails provide benefits to a nomadic Wassie group because the disgusting mucus trail which it leaves behind when it does move about is able to repel certain predators (and other Wassies). Wassies have thus been seen using Snails to create no-entry zones around resting areas and territories. When predators are detected, Snails are often put down to either repel the predator or as an alternative slow-moving sacrifice to the predator.

The whirly pattern of the shell is also known to have a somewhat hypnotizing effect on other Wassies, particularly 'young' Wassies in the first few days of their life cycles. As part of a microculture among Wassies, Wassies sometimes beat on Snails' shells as if they were drums or painting on them with food leftovers as if they were canvases. Both activities are often fatal to a Snail.
Horns (attribute)

Driven by a desire to appear more fearsome and intimidating, some Wassies took it upon themselves to fashion makeshift horns from materials they could find in human kitchens. Their inventive solution involves using ripe strawberries and a dollop of cream (often scavenged from cakes) to affix the fruit to their heads, forming what they believe to be convincing and menacing horns. Unfortunately, the result was more comical than intimidating, as the luscious red fruits perched atop their heads only serves to make them look more idiotic.

Despite their best efforts to appear fearsome, these 'Horned' Wassies quickly discover that their fruity headgear has an unforeseen drawback: the strawberries are simply too tempting for their fellow Wassies to resist. Drawn to the sweet scent of strawberries and cream, other Wassies cannot help but nibble on the makeshift horns, much to the dismay of their creators.

In a desperate bid to protect their precious adornments, these Wassies tend to find themselves constantly on the run from their berry-loving brethren. Ironically, their quest to create an intimidating visage for themselves have the opposite effect of making them amusing (and delicious) targets for their fellow Wassies, forcing them to flee their fellow Wassies to keep their fruity horns intact.

On one occasion, a group of 'Horned' Wassies from a fridge community decided that they had enough of constantly being on the run to protect their fruity headgear. Driven by a newfound sense of determination, they banded together to take a stand against the other Wassies, proudly parading through the kitchen, their strawberry-adorned heads held high in defiance.

Seeing this display, the other Wassies couldn't help but be drawn to the tantalizing scent of strawberries and cream wafting through the air. At first, they watched the procession carefully, confused by the group's confidence but their hunger quickly made them throw caution to the wind. In a frenzy, they descended upon the group from all directions, eager to taste the delicious fruits perched atop their heads.

Despite their best efforts to appear formidable, the 'Horned' Wassies quickly realized that they were no match for the sheer number of Wassies converging upon them. As the mob closed in, they found themselves surrounded and hopelessly outnumbered by Wassies trying to get a bite of their delectable horns and the situation quickly devolved into a stampede leading to numerous Wassie deaths.
Unicorn Wassies

Unicorn Wassies (known as Unicorns) are a mythical and elusive strain of Wassies which are extremely rare, with a prevalence rate of about 0.72%.

Unicorns are identifiable by a horn growing out of the center of their head and are known to be incredibly shy around humans and other Wassies. Their shyness combined with their rarity results in a limited understanding of Unicorns since Unicorns are very rarely observed in the field. Unicorns are known to be social but incredibly skittish and tend to dart out of view whenever they observe Wassies, humans or any other creature which they are not familiar with. Once bonded with a social group, Unicorns appear to stick closely with the group, leading Unicorn enthusiasts and Unicorn hunters to track the location of Unicorns by tracking other members of their known social group.

Unicorns are hunted due to a belief amongst certain esoteric spiritual leaders and disgraced academics that their horns might provide magical powers, health benefits or longevity. Certain alternative medicine practitioners also prescribe Unicorn horns as an expensive cure to erectile dysfunction. A Unicorn which loses its horn instantly dies and there is thus no way to store a horn as it disintegrates along with the dead Wassie within 2 hours. This has not stopped certain less-than-legitimate groups (such as the notorious Federal Wassies Capital) from selling powdered penises of various fauna as pulverized Unicorn horns.

Though Unicorns prefer flight to fight - it is theorized that a cornered Unicorn can use its horn to defend itself against predators and other Wassies. On one occasion, a Unicorn was seen with a group of Wassies using its horn as a sort of battering ram to pierce through cardboard packages in search of food. Usage (intentional or otherwise) of a Unicorn's horn comes with its risks. Since Unicorns are every bit as stupid as the average Wassie, the leading cause of Unicorn deaths are Unicorns accidentally running their horns through something and getting stuck, normally while attempting to flee after being frightened.
Mono (Wassie 10057)

Mono’s bark is much worse than his bite. And his bite is much worse that his stab. Which of course means that his bark is much much worse than his stab.

Unfortunately his bark is abso-bloody-lutely horrendous. Like 11 out of 10 horrendous. It has been recorded at more decibels than a jet engine at 5m range. And a jet engine at 5m range is very very loud. Briefly. Because at 5m range you are more or less instantly sucked into the jet engine. At which point it’s really really quiet I guess. For you at least.

Now, we should never judge a person or a Wassie by their appearance. From the look of Mono you might assume that he was a low IQ homicidal maniac with a thirst for death and a mind bent on revenge. This sort of prejudiced, knee-jerk reaction really proves the point that you must get to know someone. For example, if you take the time to get to know Mono (and you survive), you would learn that he is a low IQ homicidal maniac with a thirst for death and a mind bent on revenge. Who wears sandles because he has sensitive feet and his tail hurts in cold weather.

It’s the small details that often count the most.
Торландские войны

**Торландские войны** - серия военных конфликтов между Западным королевством и Амбруазией, имевших место в середине - второй половине 67 столетия. Причиной войны стал захват Западным королевством недолго просуществовавшего конунгства Торландьод в 6651 году. Последний конунг Торландьода, Гуннульв, не имел сыновей, и по закону наследования новым королем должен был стать двоюродный брат Гуннульва - король Амбруазии Эсташ. После падения Торландьода Гуннульв бежал в Амбруазию, которая, поддерживая его права на престол развязала войну с Западным королевством. После смерти Гуннульва конунгом Торландьода себя объявил сам Эсташ.

Вооруженное противостояние длилось с перерывами на протяжении около 30-35 лет, пока обеим сторонам не стала очевидна бесплодность попыток Амбруазии подчинить себе земли торландцев. Ко временам Людольфа Сребролицего, когда конфликт фактически утих, королям Людольфу и Эсташу II удалось завершить войны на переговорах, что было не характерно для того времени.

#### Омбекский мир

В 6682 году в городе Омбек между королями был заключен мир, по которому земли бывшего Торландьода оставались за Западным королевством, а король Амбруазии оставлял себе титул конунга и получал от южных соседей 2/3 податей от торландских крестьян на протяжении следующих 15 лет. Кроме того между королевствами заключалось перемирие на 20 лет.

Омбекский мир стал первым письменным межгосударственным договором со времен Империи Селора и Перемешания.
Pirate hat (attribute)

Pirate Wassies are Wassies who, upon discovering and donning pirate hats, develop aspirations of becoming pirates and pillagers. These swashbuckling Wassies are as inept as any other Wassie, and their ill-fated attempts at piracy often lead to disaster, for themselves and other Wassies.

Upon finding and donning pirate hats, these Wassies quickly embrace their new personas as pirates and pillagers. Despite their enthusiasm, the Pirate Wassies' lack of skill and understanding of piracy causes their efforts to be clumsy and ineffective. Their misguided attempts at pillaging usually result in more mess and chaos than treasure.

The Pirate Wassies, in their pursuit of piracy, often attempt to pillage other Wassies' 'treasures', much to the chagrin of their peers. Their ill-conceived raids typically involve rummaging through other Wassies' belongings, creating havoc and disorder in the process. As a result, Pirate Hat Wassies tend to be unwelcome among Wassie communities.

The Pirate Wassies' love for the open seas (read: any body of liquid) inevitably leads them to cross paths with the equally delusional Sailor Wassies. Pirate Wassies frequently try to commandeer the makeshift cardboard boats of the Sailor Wassies, resulting in humorous and often fatal consequences. The fragile nature of the boats and the ineptitude of both the Pirate Hat and Sailor Wassies often cause these encounters to end up with both groups drowning in a pot of soup.

Some Pirate Wassies, in their quest to fully embody the pirate persona, attempt to cut off their own limbs and replace them with makeshift hooks or peg legs. Unfortunately, this misguided self-mutilation often leads to severe infection and subsequent death of the Wassie.
Осния

**Осния** *(полное название **Королевство Осния**) -* государство, расположенное в восточной части Нелириума. Большую часть королевства занимает долины рек Иарно, Преты и Аметы.

Осния состоит из трёх регионов - Оснийского Севера, Оснийского Юга и Синубрии.

Здесь правит королевская династия Витрувио из столицы королевства - Тавриции.
Genies

The existence of the Genie strain remains an enigma. Some believe that a genius Outcast inspired by the Ghostbuster series invented little teapots with futuristic technology to capture Wassies. Others speculate that a human witch created these devices to contain Wassies for use in magical rituals. And those who subscribe to Occam's Razor simply posit that Genies must be the product of a Wassies' own stupidity somehow.

As research on this peculiar strain continues, not much is known except that Genie Wassies are generally not immaterial but they spend all of their time either hiding in their containers or floating idly over them. When hiding in their containers, Genie Wassies are weightless and it has been speculated that a Genie withdrawing into its container either de-materializes into its base molecules or undergoes severe compression. If a lamp containing a Genie is forcibly opened, the Genie within almost inevitably springs out dead. Destruction of the lamp also leads to the death of the Genie which respawns in Genie form in another separate container.

Genies are completely bound to their containers and need to be carried around by other Wassies (they are thankfully compact and weightless). In fridges, Genies are apparently able to disconnect from their containers for brief periods to roam around the fridge in a phantom-like form but this is known to be an exhausting endeavor that requires a Genie to spend a great amount of time recovering in its container after.

Genies who retreat and emerge out of their containers tend to become stupider and stupider over time and it has been noted that Genies who repeatedly do so suffer from some form of severe mental handicap, eventually refusing to emerge out of their containers at all. A very small minority of Genies avoid this fate and in fact become sages to their Wassie communities who are consulted for advice on Wassie matters. Since Genies, whether brain-damaged or sage-like tend to answer incoherently and Wassies are incredibly stupid to begin with - Wassies are normally unable to decipher if their resident genie is a sage speaking in riddles or simply mentally handicapped.

A foolproof way to summon a Genie however is to rub the container three times, and a Genie, no matter how brain-damaged or unwilling, will emerge from the lamp. Asking it for three wishes however will only lead to disappointment.
Cap'n Deadeye - Wassie 859

Strange and mysterious are the ways of the ocean-going Wassie. Most prefer to remain on land, indeed many are terrified of open water. But there are some hardy Wassies, some say insane Wassies, who take to the sea.

Cap’n Deadeye is one of these unusual and courageous Wassie. Many Wassies take to the sea with nothing more than ill-fitting duck floaties, but Captain Deadeye has his very own boat!

For a long time he merely floated close to the shore. Then, one day, he declared that he needed to see more! Taking his trusty vessel (christened ‘The Carpathia’) he set out directly from the shore. “Stop!” they called. “There are terrifying monsters in the deep!” – they howled.

Did Cap’n Deadeye listen? No, he did not. He knew, with every fibre of his being, that his Shamanic Sparkle powers would protect him from all foes. No creature, big or small, would dare approach his boat.

Wait, what was that?
Wooly hats (attribute)

Upon putting on a wooly hat, a Wassie suddenly believes it is the ultimate embodiment of style and charisma. They perceive themselves as the "coolest Wassies in the fridge," radiating an aura of self-assurance and confidence. However, this illusion of "chadness" is far from reality, as the wooly hat covering their eyes causes them to be far more vulnerable and clumsy than their fellow Wassies.

The self-absorbed nature of these wooly hat-wearing Wassies appear to follow the hat. When one of these Wassies meets its end, another nearby Wassie will quickly snatch the wooly hat from its expiring corpse and take on the role of the arrogant, self-centered individual. This cycle continues, as the inability to see while wearing the wooly hat appears to make each new wearer excessively self-indulgent. Thankfully, Wassies wearing wooly hats have even shorter lifespans than the average Wassie as they have a limited ability to feed themselves and other Wassies obviously have no desire to feed an annoying and self-indulgent Wassie.

Wooly hats are not only sought after for their perceived status but are sometimes also used to navigate the colder areas of the Wassie environment. The thick, warm fabric makes these hats a popular choice for Wassies venturing into the depths of the freezer or braving a journey into icy parts of the world.
Apple (attribute)

The practice of Wassies balancing apples on their heads originates from a dastardly sport played by the Outcasts of Wassietopia.

Called 'apple-shot', participating Outcasts position the captive Wassies in a marked field, balance an apple on their heads and take turns trying to hit the apple from distance with a wide variety of weapons without hitting the Wassie itself. When the apple is successfully knocked off the Wassie, the distance the apple has moved is calculated. The Outcast then switches to a blunt force weapon and swings at the Wassie with the objective of propelling the Wassie as far as possible down the field. The apple distance and the Wassie distance is then tabulated to calculate a final score, and the Outcast with the final score is declared the winner.

Despite these dark origins, certain clueless Wassies who have left Wassietopia continue balancing apples on their heads as an aesthetic choice, often even using jelly as an adhesive to ensure that the apple stays on.
Werewolves

Werewolves are a rare strain of Wassies with a natural prevalence rate of about 2%.

During the day, Werewolves are not dissimilar from other Wassies and their only distinctive feature is their defining canine-like appearance. When the sun sets and the moon rises however, Werewolves benefit from improved reflexes, increased speeds, night vision and a heightened sense of smell and hearing. The magnitude of these physiological improvements correspond to the stages of the moon cycle with the Werewolves powers peaking during the full moon.

Despite these incredible abilities when the moon is out, Werewolves are unfortunately cursed with the same limited intellectual capabilities which plague the average Wassie. Since Werewolves do not fundamentally understand the day-night cycle, much less the moon cycle - their powers waning and waxing with the moon cycle is actually a double-edged sword. Werewolves have been observed starting fights with predators or other Wassies assuming that their powers have been activated simply because a light in a dark room went on or because they felt a wind in their back, only to quickly lose their lives in the ensuing fight.

This inability to understand the nature of their powers combined with their abilities' constantly varying means that Werewolves are incredibly prone to miscalculating their chances of survival. Outcasts hunting Werewolves often deploy a strategy whereby the Outcast simply sits in a dark room with a mirror or a lamp and waits for overconfident Werewolves to charge it.
The Great Flood

The Great Flood of 1972 was a catastrophic event in Wassland's history, caused by an extraordinarily heavy monsoon season that led to the massive flooding of the Long Wasser River. This devastating natural disaster resulted in an unprecedented number of Wassie deaths by drowning. However, the floodwaters also carried some of the wooden boat-building Wassies out of the river and into the Great Wass Sea, eventually leading them to human civilization.

### The Flood

Wassland, home to the Wassies and Outcasts had experienced monsoon seasons before. However, the monsoon of 1972 was unlike any other in recorded history. Unusually heavy rainfall and powerful winds battered the region, swelling the waters of the Long Wasser River to levels never seen before.

The torrential downpour caused the Long Wasser River to overflow its banks, quickly inundating the surrounding areas and causing widespread destruction. Thousands of Wassies perished in the floodwaters, either swept away or drowned in the merciless deluge. The disaster left a lasting scar on the Wassie population, with many of their makeshift homes destroyed and a significant loss of life.

### The Great Exodus

Amidst the devastation, however, the Wassies which were plotting to leave Wassland became beneficiaries of the catastrophe. Although their attempts at crafting seaworthy vessels capable of crossing the Great Wass Sea have only ended in abject failure, the violent currents from the floodwaters became a blessing in disguise. As disaster struck, the Wassies clung onto the wooden boats they had been experimenting with and the floodwaters carried them along the overflowing Long Wasser River and swept them into and across the Great Wass Sea. Although the rough currents and relentless waves led to many Wassies falling off their 'vessels', those who were fortunate enough to hang on (or be washed ashore) eventually reached the shores of human civilization. Exhausted, but alive, they were discovered by curious humans who took pity on the bedraggled creatures.
SuperStar - Wassie 10284

SuperStar is her name, her title and her station in life. Superstar boasts the healthiest and most well-balanced self-esteem of any Wassie that has ever lived.

SuperStar is awarded ‘Wassie of the Day’ at her local McWassie. After all – she comes equipped for the job with her own utensils across multiple Wassie lifetimes. One might have thought that this would have drawn the ire of her colleagues but so natural is her charm that nobody really minds.

Everyone loves her.
Birthday cone (attribute)

Birthday cones are often found on Wassies which have been 'adopted' by sympathetic humans although Wassies in the wild sometimes acquire these cones by scavenging.

Such apparel are often a gift from human owners to Wassies to mark special events. This could range from events in the family where the Wassie is kept as a pet or an event in the Wassie's life itself - often the 1st day of its life after respawning.

Wassies sporting birthday cones are incredibly proud of their headgear and enjoy prancing about as if they were a Unicorn Wassie. Of course, unless they actually are a Unicorn Wassie, the cone tends to fall off quite easily. Wassies donning these cones have also been known to stash food under the cones and use it as a sort of storage space.
Platypus Wassies

Platypus Wassies (known colloquially as 'Platipies') are a strain of Wassies that are identifiable by having the body of a Wassie but with an elongated and broad tail resembling that of a platypus.

Though unable to navigate large bodies of waters, the rudder-like qualities of Platipies' tails allow them to swim in small bodies of liquids in a kitchen environment such as in soups, juices and even higher viscosity liquids such as yogurts. The tail also allows Platipies to burrow into certain medium such as soft soil, mashed potatoes and lasagna resulting in Platipies having an above-average number of deaths by suffocation. Many Platipies are also accidentally cooked in a human environment due to their innate desire to burrow into often microwavable foods.

Platipies have a strange affinity with eggs, both in the wild and in human environments. Platipies have been observed spending successive lifetimes lying next to eggs, guarding eggs and sometimes sitting on the eggs in an attempt to incubate them. Platipies even have territorial disputes over control of eggs leaving other Wassies looking on in amusement. If the eggs are small enough, Platipies also attempt to move them into burrows, leading to mass confusion when this happens in human environments.

Clever Outcasts have been observed luring droves of Platypies to their deaths through 'egg traps'.
Toilet seat (attribute)

Toilet seats are the Wassie equivalent of the pompadour hairstyle.

Wassies who sport toilet seats on their heads are known to be vain and tough troublemakers (but are often very insecure deep down). These Wassies often band together to bully other Wassies and pride themselves on being the 'bad boys' that every Wassie avoids although it can also be argued that other Wassies tend to avoid these groups due to the stench of urine emanating from the toilet seat.

It is not easy to acquire these toilet seats with the Wassies' limited strength and size so these are often salvaged from the delipidated bathrooms of third world countries when the toilet seats come loose due to wear and tear and poor maintenance.

The stench from these toilet seats have the advantage of warding off or at least encouraging these would-be predators to hunt a less disgusting Wassie.
Egg (attribute)

Wassies have an incredibly strange affinity with eggs (perhaps because they can't lay any) and it is not an uncommon sight at all to see a Wassie with an egg cracked on it.

While most cases involve eggs being thrown at Wassies by small children or Outcasts (for sport) or Wassies' heads being used to crack eggs, a surprisingly large amount of egg-on-face is inflicted by the Wassie itself or its friends.

Wassies love playing with egg yolk and one of the first things a group of Wassies do when they break into a fresh fridge is to grab all the available eggs and start cracking it on each other's heads.
Slime Wassies

Slime Wassies (known as Slimes) are thought to be the result of an extremely rare genetic mutation that replaces the lower half of their body with a weird semi-fluid substance that has the viscosity of melted cheese.

Slimes can modify the viscosity of their slimy portions, increasing it to move about as quickly as an average Wassie and increasing it to move more slowly but allow it to climb walls or even stick to ceilings. Unlike Snail Wassies, Slimes leave slime trails only when their slime is at high viscosity (such as when they are climbing or trying to stick to surfaces) and the trail attracts rather than repels predators. Many a predator has followed the sweet trail of slime to find a Slime conveniently stuck to a surface as easy prey.

The slimy portions of Slimes can be harvested without killing the Slime and given enough food, Slimes who have had parts of their slimy bits cut off them will start regenerating the lost bits like an expanding cheese fondue. Clever Outcasts have identified this utility of Slimes and have been known to keep Slimes as slaves to produce the adhesive material which the Outcasts use to trap other Wassies or simply torture Wassies by sticking them to surfaces or gluing their beaks shut.
Mushroom (attribute)

It is often said that Wassies with 'shit for brains' are the ones with mushrooms growing out of their heads. This is not exactly true. Wassies which are host to mushrooms (*fungus wassicus*) do have normal Wassie brains but like all Wassies, there is an enormous empty space in the Wassies skull given the fact that the average Wassie brain is the size of a pea. These Wassies simply have dirt, decaying matter and potentially fecal remains in that cavity which encourages the growth of the mushroom.

The mushroom has a symbiotic relationship with the Wassie once it has rooted itself in the Wassie's skull, and removal of the mushroom will lead to the death of the Wassie. The Wassie provides a safe medium for the mushroom to take root and the mushroom provides the Wassie with a not-so-nifty camouflage in forested environment. The mushroom releases spores when the Wassie dies and the spores often find their way to the respawning Wassie so that the relationship can carry across Wassie lifetimes.

The mushroom is said to have psychedelic properties and Wassies which are host to these fungi have been known to be targeted by poachers, particularly in East Asia, who believe the fungi contain healing properties.

It is unknown whether the presence of the mushroom affects the Wassie's brain, personality or actions in anyway (like certain strains of cordyceps) given the fact that Wassies are inherently stupid and prone to acting in death-inducing manners regardless of the presence of a mushroom.
Pasta strainer (trait)

The Strainer Knights are a delusional group of Wassies who have taken to wearing pasta strainers on their heads as makeshift helmets. Believing themselves to be knights or soldiers, these quirky creatures become deeply immersed in their new roles, often to the point of hallucinating traumatic battles and unintentionally giving themselves PTSD.

The phenomenon began when a group of curious Wassies discovered pasta strainers in human kitchens. Intrigued by the design and the possibility of repurposing the strainers as protective headgear, these Wassies quickly adopted the kitchen utensils as their new helmets. The strainers not only provided a sense of safety against potential predators but also inspired the Wassies to assume the personas of knights and soldiers.

Wearing their strainer helmets, these Wassies become completely engrossed in their new roles as warriors. They engage in mock battles, practice dramatic combat moves, and perform elaborate reenactments of imaginary sieges and skirmishes much to the amusement of their fellow Wassies. So deep is their commitment to their newfound identities that they often lose touch with reality, fully believing themselves to be valiant fighters in an ongoing war.

While the Strainer Knights' antics are undoubtedly endearing and entertaining, their vivid imaginations and intense role-playing can have unintended consequences. Some of these Wassies become so immersed in their make-believe world of warfare that they begin to hallucinate traumatic battles, leaving them emotionally scarred and struggling with PTSD.
Duck Wassies

The Duck Wassie (**Ducks** for short) do not at first glance appear to be much different from a regular Wassie.

Their distinguishing physical feature is subtle - despite having a body that is seemingly identical to the average Wassie, Ducks have a slightly longer arching duck-tail growing out of their abdomens.

The main distinguishing features of Ducks are behavioral. Ducks can tolerate the usual coldness of fridges and are, like all Wassies, instinctively drawn to seek them out but struggle with an overriding genetic directive to migrate to more temperate climates when exposed to the cold. This results in a perpetual behavioral tug-of-war within the Duck's (very small) brain and culminates in Ducks being seen consistently wandering back and forth between the fridge and a 'warmer climate'. Since fridges are often installed in kitchens - Ducks very unfortunately end up migrating into ovens or hot stoves and back.

Ducks also have peculiar attachment issues. On every respawn, Ducks become fascinated by the first objects that they perceive to show any sort of interest in them. They spend hours, and sometimes even days in the early parts of the lives following these objects around, whether these are Wassies, humans, animals or even non-living objects. Wassies are however incapable of focusing on tracking a target for extended periods and so Ducks tend to lose their quarry (even if it is a non-moving inanimate object) after some time and continue with their lives after a short mourning period.