Pie Noon: Live Chompionship with Nicole Byer & Jessica McKenna

"Munch Madness: Pie Noon: Live Chompionship with Nicole Byer & Jessica McKenna" is Episode 293 of *Doughboys*, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Munch Madness: Pie Noon: Live Chompionship with Nicole Byer & Jessica McKenna" was released on March 25, 2021.

## Synopsis

Nicole Byer & Jessica McKenna join the 'boys for the exciting **Munch Madness: Pie Noon** finale and crown a winner of the Tournament of Chompions!

[*To note, this episode was recorded as a live Zoom event two days prior on March 23. - ed.*]

## Nick's intro

1892: Lord Stanley of Preston commissions a trophy to be awarded to the best hockey team in Canada - The Stanley Cup!

1930: The recently-formed International Federation of Association Football (or FIFA) holds its first tournament in Uruguay - The World Cup!

2016: Two portly, feuding podcast hosts designate an award named for the late founder of Wendy's and presented to the best of the best quick-service eateries - The Dave Thomas Cup!

And today, six long long years after its inception, the DTC has finally shifted from the savory to the sweet side, as for the first time, this biggie-sized trophy will be awarded to the top dessert purveyor in all of fast food.

Eleven initial entrants and one Commissioner-decreed interloper have been melted down into a trio of elite treat agents, each hailing from different regions of this bittersweet nation we call home!

The hot and trendy cupcakery from Beverly Hills, California, famed for its bountiful dollops of frosting and outlandish cupcake ATM.

The fast-food dessert institution from the Midwest, known for its Blizzards as chilly as the realm's harsh winters.

And the mix-in heavy ice-cream churner from Vermont, whose hippie founders' Socialist politics match that of the Green Mountain State's U.S. Senator.

Whose sweets are the one to beat?!

Whose toppings will come out on top?!

Which two chains will be stashed back in the walk-in while the victor walks away with that trophy as coveted as a cold treat on a hot day, the Dave Thomas Cup!?

This week on *Doughboys*, the Chompionship Match of **Munch Madness 2021: The Tournament of Chompions: Pie Noon:** Sponsored by Manscaped.

Ben & Jerry's *vs.* Dairy Queen *vs.* Sprinkle's Cupcakes!

*Let's a-go!*

## Pie Noon: Tournament of Chompions Rules 📜

The rules for Pie Noon:

1. Just desserts! - meals may not appeal (if you're an entree or main, you cannot join the game)
2. No sweet drinks; it has to be more like a shake to be included - If your drink is not slushy, Wiger will get fussy (the juice is not loose).
3. Donuts 'do nut' count - no breakfast pastries or sweets!
4. If it's in a mall, you can't play ball! - restaurants like Cinnabon or Auntie Ann's aren't seen as desserts, and they also do not want to go into a mall during the pandemic.
5. If it's national, it's noshinal - only full national chains included this year.

## Pie Noon Finale 🥧

The Finale begins with an instant elimination of one of the contestants.

Because of Mitch's failure to vote in a prior episode, his vote is not counted in this elimination. However, if Nick, Jessica, and Nicole all vote for a different choice, Mitch would indeed break the tie.

Nicole initially eliminates Ben & Jerry's, but because Nick and McKenna chose Sprinkles, it was eliminated. After some discussion, Nicole flipped her vote to make it unanimous. Mitch also would have voted for Sprinkles.

* Vanilla Milk Chocolate
* Triple Cinnamon
 Mike Mitchell
	+ Dark Chocolate
	+ Vanilla
	+ Sprinkle
 Jessica McKenna
 Nicole Byer
* Sprinkle
* Vanilla
* Red Velvet

With Sprinkles eliminated, the Finale becomes a battle between Ben & Jerry's and Dairy Queen!

They rate each trip on four categories on a scale of 0-10.

They then decide which dessert goes to the Cenobites to convert them to Catholicism.

* Hot Fudge Sundae
	+ Hot Fudge
	+ Hot Caramel
	+ Chocolate Fudge Brownie
	+ Chunky Monkey
* taste: 9
* travel: 8
* tummy troubles: 1
* the one that got away: no
* Vanilla MooLatte
* taste: 9
* travel: 8
* tummy troubles: 1
* the one that got away: Dairy Queen
 Mike Mitchell
	+ Cherry Garcia
	+ Phish Food
	+ Chocolate Therapy
	+ Salted Caramel Blondie
	+ Whipped Cream
	+ Brownies
	+ Cookies
* taste: 9
* travel: 5.5
* tummy troubles: 1
* the one that got away: no
* Royal Rocky Road Trip DQ Blizzard Treat
* taste: 9
* travel: 5
* tummy troubles: 4
* the one that got away: Dairy Queen
 Jessica McKenna
* Cinnamon Buns
* taste: 8.9
* travel: 6.314
* tummy troubles: 3
* the one that got away: Ben & Jerry's
* Caramel Sundae
* taste: 9.15
* travel: 7
* tummy troubles: 3
* the one that got away: no
 Nicole Byer
* P.B. & Cookies
* taste: 8.5
* travel: 8.8
* tummy troubles: 1.8
* the one that got away: no
* taste: 9.7
* travel: 7.962
* tummy troubles: 1.8
* the one that got away: Dairy Queen

In a (banana) split decision, Dairy Queen takes the match-up, 3-1.

**Dairy Queen** wins this year's **Munch Madness: Tournament of Chompions: Pie Noon**!!

(Emma was prepared to break any possible tie, and also would have voted for Dairy Queen.)

## The Heart of a Chompion Award 💝

Every tournament, the Doughboys award The Heart of a Chompion to something they deem worthy.

Some of the nominees of this year's Tournament for The Heart of a Chompion Award were Armen Weitzman, toilets, Sprinkles Cupcakes, Mrs. Mitchell, Mitch's neighbor Kathy Wood, and the Burger King Whopper.

The winner this year of the Heart of a Chompion award goes to BJ's Pizookie!

Commissioner Susser accepts the award on behalf of BJ's.

(They later almost rescind this and give it to Oreo, but don't.)

## "Here Comes The Sun-Dae" 🍨

Here comes the sun-dae
It tastes nice!

Little Wigey, I want a treat that's cold yet melty
Little Wigey, an ice-cream dish that brings me cheer
Here comes the sun-dae
Here comes the sun-dae
It tastes nice!

Little Wigey, why do you wait till your ice cream is melted?
Little Wigey, then pour it down your throat and face
It looks like cum (cum a cum a)
It looks like cum (and I say)
That's alright!

Cum cum cum gonna nut
Cum cum cum gonna bust*

## "Restaurant" by PUP

To close out the Tournament of Chompions, the band PUP performed their song "Restaurant."

Here is a photo of their lyrics:

## Quotes

**Mitch**: This is what they came here for, Wiges. This is what they wanted.

**Nicole**: He's licking his lips and I can't see anything but that! There is a horny woman watching this who's like 'a dream come true!'
**Jessica**: Mitch, you have nice teeth.

## Photos

Hot Fudge SundaeBoom Chocolatta! Cookie Core and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice CreamChocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice CreamBoom Chocolatta! Cookie Core Ice CreamVanilla MooLatteOreo Cookie Blizzard TreatBanana Split, Triple Cinnamon, Lemon Coconut, Vanilla Milk Chocolate CupcakesRed Velvet CupcakePeanut Buster Parfait Royal TreatRoyal Rocky Road Trip Blizzard TreatThe Little Vermonster