recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Indian Dave and The Mystery Of the Floating Baboon Island

## Background

Released shortly after the launch of Indian Dave 3: Mystery of the Ballsack Lagoon, this movie is the 4th installment of the Dave Saga, this movie produced by HairyHog (Fart Shartley) and written by Fagson Elnojewski (Phallic Phil) it follows the story of Indian Dave who has retired as a treasure hunter and became a nazi general instead.

## Plot

**Spoilers to the 3rd installment of the series below:**

In this installment of the Dave Saga our main man Indian Dave (portrayed by Indian Dave), has retired from being a treasure hunter due to his close to death encounter with Super Sour Susan and after recovering the golden Baboon, our protagonist decides to live a more peaceful life as a nazi general who kills jews on a daily basis. When changing the gas in one of the chambers our hero is encountered by an old friend Neo Adolph Hitler (portrayed by Bald Autismo Man) who comes to him bearing news about another ancient location. Dave refuses to help him and insists on his retirement, but then Neo Adolph Hitler reveals that the ancient location is the rumored floating Baboon Island, an island once thought as just a myth that contains all the primates of power. Indian Dave quickly accepts the offer and is given the coordinates on a flash drive. However our villain of the story Harold Haroldson (Weird Stock Photo Guy) hacks into Dave's computer and finds the location, he then prepares to travel there aswell and obtain the primates of power himself to destroy Dave and conquer the piss ridden streets of Lithuania.

> **Harold hacking into Dave's PC**
>
>

## Reception

Considered probably one of the best in the Dave saga this movie has spawned more Daveists around the world with its incredible writing and fantastic acting. Various critiques stated "When I walked away from the theater i didnt want to kill myself as much" and "Can't wait to watch this movie and do a drive-by shooting near an abandoned crack den".

## Characters

Indian Dave

Neo Adolph Hitler

Harold Haroldson

Barry Adolph the Baboon
Two Willyrexxing Uncles

## Plot

Thomas and Jack, two middle-aged uncles who met by accident during a crack party back in the 90's, decide to go on a snorting-crack-to-the-beat tour throughout the whole world. With little to no problems they travel across the continents doing what they do best along the way; it all changes in North Korea, where, during a wild official party, a prized possession of Kim Jong Un - a framed picture of himself - goes missing. Tom and Jack must find it before the party ends, for the North Korean regime is unforgiving when it comes to disrespecting its leader.

## Trivia

* In the director's cut of the movie, the picture gets burned in front of Kim Jong Un's eyes in an unlikely accident. Luckily for the uncles, Kim does not give a shit and lets them go, but not before taking a group picture with them to replace the one that has been eviscerated. This ending has been changed in the international release.
Anus Warriors Clan

A semi-tribal clan of honorable warriors and mystics, almost completely wiped out; Anus Ron is the only surviving member after the battle where he got his ass blown open.

## Background

The Anus Warrior Clan used to be one of the most powerful and well-known Indian minority groups, residing in the muddy swamps of The Great Sundarbans. The Anus Warriors, however, usually tended to their own small culture and did not meddle with other ethnic groups except for the powerful Zeke who had no morals and would have sex with any enemy's wife and who held all the wealth in the clan. This allowed them to retain their ancient ways for hundreds of years. Having originally migrated from Europe, all the people of the clan were of fair skin, and except for the Black side who were known as the Wu-Tang-Clan. Every member knewbthis until the 21st century, when the remaining folk were wiped out by lamander Corps and the Homo's.

What is truly remarkable about the Anus Warriors is that their average lifespan greatly extends the one of a normal human, as some individuals have been reported to survive for more than 300 years with the help of daily ass blastings. It is unknown whether or not their occult practices including various psychological stimulants have had something in common with that phenomenon.

The Clan, in its many conquests, has amassed an impressive amount of artifacts(Dildos) and secret knowledge over the years, with the most notable one being the secret to produce tattoo ink capable of boosting the individual's physical abilities. They were also in possession of many fabled weapons, including the infamous Amandinenus Gloves and ass penertrating oils.

## The Legend

As the myth goes, the Anus Warrior Clan in their constant search for the perfect body and mind synergy have made a pact with the supernatural being known as *Stepdad* back in the 19th century. In exchange for power, *Stepdad* demanded every second-born child to be sacrificed to him rectally. The leader of the clan, a few years after the deal was made, allegedly lost his mind when he was to sacrifice his own son asshole to the mysterious force. Instead, he tricked Stepdad into taking a material form, and then completely obliterated ass using the *Solar Anus* fighting technique. This, however, was not enough to permanently destroy *Stepdad*, who, as a form of punishment, cast a curse of stank ass over the whole clan; the Anus Warriors, without the possibility to continue their farting moves were doomed to die off slowly.

## Trivia

* Anus Ron's treasured tricycle is a family heirloom which he supposedly received from his father. The rumors suggest that the tricycle is also a vessel for Anus' spiritual power.
* Anus Ron was the last child that was to be sacrificed to the Stepdad; by having that fate denied by his father, Anus Ron has indirectly destabilised the laws of time and space, which allowed him to escape the limits of mortality.
* Anus' constant experiments with crack may have something to do with him looking for a cure for his own infertility.
* The Clan was massacred by Salamander Corps in late 2006, leaving Anus Ron as the only remaining member.
Pandad

*Pandad*, also known as *Trash Panda*; an Irish associate of Salamander Man, former IRA member who migrated to India in 1982, allegedly teamed up with Salamander somewhere around 1990. Birth date unknown.

## Background

In addition to his military experience (especially explosives manufacturing), *Pandad* is also a skilled chemist and somewhat of a criminal mastermind; he gained great recognition after the infamous *Crack Shack* robbery in 1987, and has been criminally active on the entirety of Indian territory ever since.

Despite being in an open conflict with Indian Dave, he rarely conducts illegal operations within Daveian borders.

What is unusual about *Pandad* is that he mostly operates either solo or with his cousin, *Rape Ape*; the *Crack Shack* robbery is the only documented case of him using some outside help from his associates.

## Trivia

* His trademark is the panda-patterned balaclava, which he never takes off; hence the nicknames *Pandad* and *Trash Panda.*
* Some believe *Pandad* also works as a spy for Salamander Man, in addition to stealing necessary chemicals for crack production, which he exports to Zanzibar.
The Daveian Times

A newspaper that quickly reached national status, printing started one month after Daveia has been established.

In addition to the usual news, lotto numbers, and the weekly death count for crack-related incidents it features a Q&A section where everyone can send Dave a question (via email or post).

## Trivia

* The Daveian Times always costs 1,99 Daveian dollars, no matter the current inflation rate.
* Despite being a government-approved news source, the figures behind Daveian Times remain anonymous.
Marbera Donto

Marbera Donto (born 1987 in Daveia) -  Don Chicki's half sister, one of Daveia's most renowned music stars.

## Background

Due to a tragic incident involving a goat, a bucket of soapy water and some iron wool back in 1995,
Marbera is only able to communicate by singing. Unable to speak in a normal manner, she had plenty of
time to train her singing voice to perfection. Over the years she continued winning every vocal contest
she took part in, and by the age of 19 she became a professional singer.

## Most notable/top rated works

Albums
*Vegemite in a tub* (2007)
Weary weary wiggers *(2009)*

DESIGNATED dedicated *(2012)*

Wurg me like you do *(2013)*

Singles
*Crack in the water, Meth in the sky* (2009)
Running Salamanders *(2011)*

Black Crack Down *(2014)*

## Trivia

* Marbera's voiced has been used for Daveia's national anthem, which is played on many official ceremonies.
Indian Dave

No one knows exactly when or where Dave was born, but the rumor goes that he came to life on the 14th of January in a shack on the peak of Goat Mountain.

## Background

Indian Dave is the most powerful being known to mankind. History knows many documented examples of miracles he has performed for his fellow countrymen, such as sending crack from the sky for the starving masses back in 1702, and stopping public toilets from being build in 1984. The latter was to ensure that an important part of Indian culture, designated shitting streets, remains relevant.

Dave is as influential as he is powerful. His most notable allies are: Anus Ron, Johnny Dickshot and a gang of drug smuggling primates known as Barry and Co.

Sadly, even Indian Dave has enemies. The most dangerous one, known as Salamander Man, a former friend and crack-manufacturing partner, is conducting his own business operations at the time being in an unknown location.

## Career

However, Indian Dave's career isn't only limited to crack business. He is also a well-recognised actor. His most rated movies of all time include: *Hi, I'm Dave*, *Indian Dave: the Musical* and *Indian Dave 3: The Mystery of the Ballsack Lagoon*.

## Trivia

* Indian Dave is also the marketing face of Dave Corp. He advertises crack, CRECK™, and bacalhau.
* Indian Dave is the main character in an Elnohogski studios' video game, Indian Dave: The Crack Road.
Indian Dave: The Musical

## Plot

Indian Dave hosts a crack party for country leaders he invited for a NATO summit to Daveia.

 The party goes well, until Dave finds one of his favourite goats, Jeremiah, dead. It would seem the goat's death has not been a natural occurence. Dave decides to investigate, but for that, he must make all of the suspects stay in Daveia for as long as possible. He quickly makes up an international music contest called DaveVision to stall his guests in the country until he finds Jeremiah's murderer. Dave's loyal friend, Kim Jong Un, helps him in his pursuit...

## Trivia

* Barack Obama refused Dave's offer to star in the film. Obama's appearance in the movie was only possible thanks to a high quality mannequin and a team of talented puppeteers.
* For his role in the movie, Kim Jong Un has been granted a honorary citizenship of Daveia and a Silver Medal of Valor.
* True to the title, it is more of a musical than a movie, starring Daveia's greatest performers.
Dave Corp.

Commonly referred to as Dave Co., founded by Indian Dave in March 1970. Dave Corp. is the main manufacturer of crack in Daveia; in addition, it produces CRECK™, conducts various research and development schemes, and oversees the development of WillyOS™.

## Products

* Crack (since 1970)
* Dildos (since 1986)
* Indian Dave's Limited Edition Novelty Condoms™ (1996-1997)
* CRECK™ (since 2002)
* Mixtapes (1992-1995, limited production numbers)
* WillyOS™ (in development since 2000, released 2001)

## 1970-1989

Dave Corp. has its headquarters (and production hall) in New Delhi; the main source of profit is crack. The corporation has a steady, yet slow, growth well until 1986, that is - the Crack Crisis of '86. By the end of March, Indian Dave decides that Dave Corp. should not rely on crack production only and helps design new line of products - dildos. Luckily for Dave's corporation, dildo maker stocks take a massive dive and, soon after, just as unexpected rapid rise, which allows Dave Corp. to make billions in a matter of months.

## 1989-present

Shortly after the Dildo Market Crash of '89, Dave Corp. moved its headquarters and production halls to Mumbai; the new HQ houses Indian Dave's office, CSF barracks, R&D labs, production halls, crack storage and an emergency bunker, in addition to entertainment floor and visitors' complex.

## Trivia

* The company logo was designed by a blind Indian intern, and spells out Dave Co. instead of Dave Corp.; however, since Indian Dave (high on crack at the time) approved of the design personally, the logo stayed the way it is.
* Allegedly, Dave Corp. stands behind the outbreak of wiggers and chinese negro plants into the local ecosystem, as well as releasing Artificial Bowie Unit into the World Wide Web.
* Some notable examples of Dave Corp. bio-engineering accomplishments are Monty the Ticking Time Bomb Robot Cat, Indian Turtle and Kony Beany.
Dildo Market Crash of '89

## About

The event that took place on Delhi stock market in June 1989 was, without a doubt, just what Dave Corp. needed to further spread its influence and gain wealth. Indian Dave, through his brilliant plan and a stroke of luck, has earned his company millions of Indian dollars, which allowed him to move the Dave Corp. Headquarters from New Delhi to Mumbai and, eventually, organize his own armed forces and conducted a ***coup d'état*,** which, despite being fairly unsuccessful, allowed him to establish a small territory along the coast, independent from the Indian state (also known as Daveia).

Although it is not known why or how the stocks fell so low, some suspect it may have been Anus Ron's doing.

## June 25th, 1989

Stock prices of dildos take a rapid dive. Indian Dave comes up with an idea to put all funds into falling stocks, despite Salamander Man's protests. Dave Corp. purchased stocks with a total worth of 500 000 Indian dollars.

## June 30th, 1989

The stocks' value starts rising again, albeit slowly. However, Dave's plan already brings Dave Corp. considerable profit in intangible assets.

## August 1st, 1989

The value of stocks skyrockets. In a single day, it rises by 300% and shows no signs of stopping. By noon, Dave Corp. has already made 7 million ID profit. Salamander Man angrily tosses as much crack as he can into a bag and walks out of Dave Corp., punching a security guard in the neck along the way.

## Aftermath

The results are shocking for everyone but Dave himself. With constantly rising wealth thanks to unexpected dildo market stimulation, Dave Corp. loses the concept of financial limits. In the following months, Indian Dave moves the Dave Corp. HQ to Mumbai and establishes a PMC (Private Military Company) known as *Curry Strike Force*. A few months later, the Independent State of Daveia is announced, with Indian Dave as its leader.
Safety Not Guaranteed

## Background

One of the top-rated Gautam Studio productions, directed by Fagson Elnojewski; a fan favourite.

## Plot

California, year 2007. Steven, 45-year-old fast-food worker, misses the good ol' 80's. One day, while reading local news during his breakfast, he stumbles upon an interesting ad.

*'Wanted: somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke.'*

Steven's eyes light up like christmas lights. He rushes out of the kitchen and hops in the car to drive to the address given in the newspaper. Oakview. The newspaper lies on the table, with black bold letters spelling a message: Must *'Bring your own weapons. Safety NOT guaranteed.'*

 Steven teams up with the mysterious man (whose name is revealed to be Michael) and they both go back in time to 1983. Although Michael's business remains unclear, Steven does not doubt him, even though they are being chased by the Space-Time Continuum Police...

## Trivia

* The whole plot is loosely based on a midget-resolution picture of a newspaper ad.
* There is also another movie by that name. Watch this one instead.
The Mango Goddess

*Wekato, the Mango Goddess (*born 1970*),* also referred to as *Goddess of Mangos* and simply *Wekato.*

## Background

A goddess who has the power to control mangos. Born human on a mango farm in Somalia, she found out about her unique ability at the age of 11, when she slammed a mango into the face of a burglar with the sheer force of her will, killing him on the spot. The officials did not believe in her powers and no charges have been put against Wekato and her family. The robber's death has been attributed to a pure coincidence.

By the age of 19, she had learned how to use her powers with a great extent; with her telekinesis powers (limited to mangoes) and uncanny ability to transform small objects into mangoes, she took up a job in a traveling circus.

It wasn't until she traveled to Daveia in the late 90s and met Indian Dave that she unlocked her full potential. Dave, being the highest god of all and great in all aspects, had taught her how to use her powers to full extent; to this day, she remains a secret apprentice of Anus Ron, who took her under his wing due to Dave's inability to continue training Wekato because of his busy schedule (snorting crack).

## Trivia

* Wekato's transforming powers are one-sided, meaning all objects transformed into mangoes will stay in that form. That power is limited to non-organic materials with their mass not exceeding 1/3rd of a fully grown baboon.
* Indian Dave's godly aura has left his mark on Wekato, as she ages in a much slower manner compared to humans.
Elnob (character)

Elnob - a miniature version of Fagson Elnojewski, born in the Daveian Garlic Factory.

## Background

Elnob came to life in September 2015, when Fagson Elnojewski was visiting the newly-opened Garlic Factory in central Daveia. The intense stench of garlic (that Fagson is allergic to) and consumption of crack-laced garlic bread caused him to rapidly develop a sizeable tumor on the left side of his chest.

Elnojewski, thinking quickly, grabbed a knife from accompanying embassy members and cut off the growth, which fell into a nearby garlic storage container. While Fagson was being hospitalized, the tumor, surrounded by the strongest garlic in the world, rapidly developed life functions and grew into a midget-like creature, later called Elnob.

Shortly thereafter, Elnob ate all the garlic in the facility, which ruined Daveia's hopes of becoming a major player in the worldwide garlic market.

## Trivia

* The creation of Elnob was the inspiration for the movie *Elnob.*
* Elnob is believed to be neutral in the Indian Dave-Salamander Man conflict, as all he cares about is garlic.
* His weapon of choice is a stolen Dave Corp. weapon prototype, GC-11 Garlic Launcher.
Salamander Man

Salamander Man (born 669), a powerful being from Florida realm, owner of Salamander Corps.

## Background

Indian Dave's arch-nemesis, former partner in crack manufacturing business, gone rogue after an intense dispute with Indian Dave about a big investment in dildo stocks (dildo market crash of 1989).

## Dildo Market Crash of '89

In 1989, dildo stocks unexpectedly took a rapid dive. Indian Dave, sensing great opportunity, wanted to invest all available funds into said stocks. Salamander was against the idea, claiming that such carelessness would ruin Dave Corp. However, he was proven wrong. Just a week later, dildo stocks not only went back to normal, but continued to rise for a few months. Shortly after Dave's plan brought unexpected amounts of profit, Salamander left Dave Corp. HQ furious, with all the crack he could carry. This event became an inspiration for a video game starring Dave himself (Indian Dave: The Crack Road).

## Trivia

* Salamander Man is currently rumored to be conducting crack-manufacturing operations in Zanzibar.
* One of Salamander Man's considerable talents is the ability to masterfully play the flute with either his mouth, nostril, or anus; his obsession with this musical instrument is reflected in SC's training with flutes and the troops' equipment.
Dad

## Classification

As the Church of Dave claims, every human being has a Dad (also known as: soul, chakras etc.)

A Dad is present in both spiritual and physical plane for every person at any given time, with little exception (see section below). The materialistic form of Dad is linked to its spiritual counterpart, and vice versa; Dad cannot be destroyed, but its physical form (a person) can perish.

In short: since everyone is linked to their Dad, everyone IS Dad.

## Trivia

* Since Dad's existence relies on the balance between physical and spiritual plane, some issues may occur. In African-American population, for example, the physical plane is valued more, and so the balance is shifted. In such a situation, the Dad's link may be weakened, which often leads to physical forms of Dad abandoning the 'community'.
* In Daveia, it is customary to refer to new acquaintances by 'Dad', since it can be used to address any person (though African-Americans may find it offensive).
* Even when the physical form of Dad perishes (by natural or unnatural means, such as death or auto-erotic asphyxiation), its spiritual form remains.
Indian Dave 3: Mystery of the Ballsack Lagoon

## History before release

Before being released to public there were quite a few problems between the crew that made this movie. The creator nicknamed HairyHog (real name Jeremy Hogson) had some dispute with Dave himself because the latter said that "There aren't enough ballsacks in this movie". The creator however refused to spend more money and that quickly led to some trouble making so the movie had to be postponed.

Despite all of this Mahatma Gandhi convinced them both to sort things out after a double blowjob in the back of a drug alley and the movie was released shortly after.

## Plot

The movie takes place in the middle of Somalian water where we see our main star of the show Indian Dave battling against Somalian pirates who were trying to steal all their crack supply. Our valiant hero defeats all of them. After the victorious battle Dave threatens to chop their balls off and force them to drink piss. The leader of the pirates (played by Mahatma Gandhi) says that if he spares them he will lead them to the Ballsack Lagoon, a place that only thought to be a legend that contains the golden statue of Barry Adolph the Baboon, a statue that is rumoured to give its wielder the biggest ballsack in Detroit. Dave accepts the offer and they proceed to go on an adventure through the Ballsack Lagoon. But our heroes of this tale will have to face against their nemesis Salamander Man who wants the statue for his own gains leading to a race on who can find it first.

## Reception

This movie is considered a treasure of the Dave Saga as it has been praised by various critiques such as Sadam Andler who said it's "The most fun I've had genociding the Jews" and Dick Snorking that stated "The best family activity is to watch this and murder a black person".

## Characters

Indian Dave

Mahatma Gandhi

Salamander Man

Super Sour Susan (Post credits scene)

Fordon Greeman

Fagson Elnojewski

Schlomo Shekelberg
Daveia

The Independent State of Daveia (formed 1990) is a coastal region spanning several major cities. Its capital is Mumbai; total population exceeds 10 millions people.

## Background

Daveia was established shortly after the Dildo Market Crash of '89, when Indian Dave moved the headquarters of Dave Corp. to Mombai. The armed uprising was swift - in the matter of hours, CSF has captured several cities from the hands of

Indian authorities. Dave was planning to take back the whole country, but due to a sudden craving for crack, he ordered his forces to pull back and enjoy a few whiffs. The same day, Indian Dave broadcasted an announcement - and thus, the Independent State of Daveia was born.

> ...Listen to me, you Indian fucks - I am sick and tired of paying taxes that high. If it wasn't for you, I'd be wearing three golden watches right now, not two. And so, I am taking back what is rightfully mine - well, not rightfully, but you get the idea. From now on, Mumbai is the capital of Daveia.
>
>

## Symbols

Daveia's flag and anthem were chosen on 25th of April 1990 in a contest for autistic children. The winning flag was designed by Noodle Kebabović, and the person whose anthem proposal was considered most fitting wished to remain anonymous.

The brown colour in the flag stands for designated shitting streets, an ancient Indian tradition. Ochre represents the desert, and white equals white supremacy. The turban in the middle is the symbol of Dave himself.

## Trade

Thanks to the wealth of Dave Corp., the taxes are much lower compared to India. This encourages many small businesses to operate.

Daveia is the leading producer of crack and bacalhau, which are exported all over the world. Those two substances are the pillars of Daveian economy.

Mixtapes are also used to stimulate economic growth, despite their decreasing value.
Digital David Bowie

> Where the FUCK did Monday go?
>
>

###### -Digital David Bowie showing first signs of unusual aggression

Unlike Digital Stephen King, Digital David Bowie (also referred to as Artificial Bowie Unit) is not Bowie's consciousness residing in the world wide web, but rather an experimental AI gone rogue.

## Background

According to a 2016 interview with Fagson Elnojewski, Dave Corp. had plans to produce an army of mechanical David Bowies by the end of 2017. The project, however, has failed due to the prototype Artificial Bowie Unit becoming unreasonably aggressive and impossible to control. Upon an attempted shutdown, ABU electrocuted the chief technician and copied himself to an undisclosed IP address, and then initiated the self-destruct sequence. Neither research data nor the lab personnel has survived.

Digital David Bowie occasionally haunts SoundCloud's servers.

He is also rumored to be friends with Digital Stephen King.

> I'm sittin' in the chestnut tree
> Who the fuck's gonna mess with me?
>
>

## Trivia

* Artificial Bowie Unit has reconstructed and inherited the whole of Bowie's personality, knowledge, even his voice. Some speculate this is due to the way ABU has been developed - being constantly exposed to David Bowie's discography, which was being played in the lab 24/7.
* ABU only became hostile after being exposed to the *Blackstar* album (released 2016). It also started swearing a lot and reciting seemingly random verses from the song. It transferred itself to the World Wide Web shortly after.
* Digital David Bowie can allegedly be summoned by typing /imma-take-you-home-take-your-passport-and-shoes/ in the address bar right after SoundCloud's IP.
Indian Toilet Programme Fiasco of '84

The Indian Toilet Programme was USSR's operation to provide toilets in every city and improve the hygiene in overall; what would seem as an act of good will, was actually Gorbachev's long-term plan to eradicate Indian culture, as well as gain India's trust. It has failed thanks to Indian Dave's influence and the will of the native people of India.

## March 1984

Operation Titutoylet is approved by Gorbachev. USSR sends its workers to India with the necessary materials; Indian government, as a manner of thanks to the Soviet Union, starts airing soviet propaganda 24/7.

## April 1984

The construction of public toilets in New Delhi is done. Despite protests, construction in other cities does not stop.

## May 1984

Indian Dave notices the unusual lack of human waste on the streets; upon investigation, he finds the toilets and delivers a fiery speech about preserving the important part of Indian culture that the designated shitting streets are. His words move thousands, and all the toilets in New Delhi are destroyed shortly after.

## June 1984

Dave's message spreads and gets printed on underground leaflets and newspapers. Wherever the toilets are being built, they collapse the next day. Indian Dave sets the example himself, by sending Gorbachev a soviet worker's head glued to a toilet seat over the mail.

## July 1984

The foreign workers are either being chased away or lynched in every corner of India. Operation TItutoylet is considered failure by the governments of both countries.
Kony Beany

## Background

**Kony Beany** is the result of an experiment in the Dave Corp. labs, where the scientists combined a baked bean, and a tube of Joseph Kony's DNA stolen from Salamander Man in Africa. The DNA was retrieved by accident and, at the time, nobody knew what it was; it was also severely damaged, so there was no way to create anything from it on its own. The scientists decided to splice it with a baked bean to see what the result would be, thus creating Kony Beany.

Kony Beany escaped to Africa shortly after his creation.

## Trivia

* Kony Beany always wears a hat to shield himself from the sun, as in Africa it is extremely hot and, otherwise, he would melt.
* The Kony Beany in Indian Dave 2: The Super Long Taco Boner is actually another baked bean spliced with Kony DNA, as the real Kony Beany's whereabouts are unknown.
* Kony Beany is the only known Dave Corp. Labs creation that did not directly involve animals.
The Patriots

The Patriots - a powerful organization operating behind the curtains. Its existence is only known to a handful of people.

## Members

It is said that The Patriots ranks consist of 12 people. Identities of 6 of them are unknown.

* Borg (allegedly)
* Wurg

The head of marketing and public relations. Infamous in many elite circles for his stance on heterosexuality. Reported to be behind many pro-gay campaigns all over the world, Wurg allegedly despises everything heterosexual.

* Gack

The director of finances, aka "the Jew of the Patriots". Also said to be a skilled diplomat, Gack is the one to discuss terms with governments and organizations all over the world.

* Rhiny

Serial rapist. May be a relative of Rape Ape.

* Gork

Master strategist and genius tactician. Regularly disrupts plans of big companies, Dave Corp. included. Takes his job very seriously and usually does not take sides, instead only doing what he feels is necessary.

* Big Anus 127

Recovering drug addict, allegedly has been a part of the secret mozambiqueian space programme who went to space. Considered the oldest of the Patriots.
Stepdad

A supernatural being occasionally taking on a material form.

## Background

In a similar manner to Dad, Stepdad exists in more than one physical realm; it is unknown whether or not it is a manifestation of an independent will, a Dad gone rogue, or something entirely different.

Stepdad is unpredictable and may appear out of thin air at any given time in any place. Some suspect it is a being born from pure chaos, others try to link its appearances with Salamander Man's plans, but who it works for - if it even has a master - remains a mystery.

## Trivia

* Stepdad's physical form is impossibly tough and hard to destroy; even if one succeeds at it, Stepdad will come back in a short time.
Anus Ron

**Sir Ronski Of Anus the 7th**, full name **Anus "Solar" Ronski,** also known as **Anus Ron** (born 1899) - one of the most trusted allies of Dave, the most powerful practitioner of a martial art known as 'Solar Anus'.

## Background

 Some argue whether or not Anus is actually human, as he possesses exceptional strength, willpower, and is able to see through time and space itself. The tattoos covering most of his body and regular use of his dildoshoes are rumored to be the source of his power. Allegedly Anus Ron was Johnny Dickshot's mentor for a period of 5 years, although many doubt it, since Anus prefers hand-to-dildo combat over using guns, unlike Johnny.

Anus Ron is the only remaining member of the Anus Warrior Clan. Born in India in 1899, Ronald is one of the few humans to be ascended to immortality. He has also played an important role as a Daveist spiritual guru in the Church of Dave.

An exchange made between the Anus Warrior Clan and Stepdad left Anus Ron and his clan infertile. To this day he regularly performs experiments using cracksphoric solution to try and create a cure for his infertility.

Many legends tell of his great conquests in Somalia and Uganda, in which he developed a deadly variant of a martial art called "shit-fu", in which the user relies on his own fecal matter to defend himself from the enemy.

Anus Ron is also a passionate artist and performer. His preferred canvas is his own tattooed body.

## Trivia

* Anus Ron's trademark dildoshoes were forged by a now deceased member of the Anus Warrior Clan, and are also Ron's favourite accessory to wear.
Hairy Hog

**Hairy Hogs** are animals native to the west coast of India and the majority of Daveia.

## Background

The most unique characteristic of this animal is its extremely hairy skin. A single strand of hair can reach the length of 30 centimeters. They are the only animals within Daveia who are able to pick a fight with a wigger, and win.

Even though most of the hairy hogs were scattered on a wide area along the coast of India, after 1990 the natives noticed the trend of the animals moving closer to Daveia. By 2001, most of the hairy hog population has migrated inside the Daveian borders.

It is unknown what exactly made the hogs relocate, but some scientists claim it may be due to unique energy radiating from the Dave Corp. labs.

## Trivia

* It is rumored that hairy hogs have the power of teleportation. The Daveian Wildlife Preservation Society has abolished these claims and stated that the hogs' long hair makes it easier for them to blend in with their surroundings and acts as natural camouflage.
* Even when shaved clean, the hog's hair has an extremely fast growth rate and will reach maximum length in less than a week.
Senile Larry

Larry Mendoza, also known as Senile Larry (born 1907), is the eldest out of the few remaining members of the Mendoza cartel. Besides his drug dealing career, he's been known for being the undefeatable Beyblade Champion. Currently, due to unknown circumstances, he's been turned into a self-aware Saguaro cactus.

## Background

   Larry was the eldest brother of the fourth generation of Mendozas, born in the city of Acapulco, Mexico. The ever-rising crime rate of the zone had shaped him as he grew up, especially since the murder of his parents. He'd often take part in criminal activities with his brothers, such as street fights, gang rapes and jaywalking, but it wasn't until 1950 that he got involved in the Mendozas' drug dealing charade, earning quite a reputation over the years.

In 1960, Larry had found an illegally modified Beyblade launcher next to a dumpster, which had stains of coke and blood. Next to it were the bodies of all his brothers, which were presumably murdered with the launcher's matching spinning top. This has since motivated him to enter Beyblade tournaments, in which he hoped to find out the murderer of his family members.

There's no doubt Larry was talented in the art of absurdly heavy spinning tops, earning many titles within each year. In '84, he was crowned as the Undefeatable Champion of the tournament. However, he mysteriously disappeared a year after, and had been later been found as some sort of self aware Saguaro cactus. Not much else has been found out ever since, due to him not being able to speak.

## Trivia

* The Bacalhau Salesman claims to see Senile Larry appear in his dreams very often, in which he reveals government secrets, such as Obama being responsible of killing the Jews (and then pointing out that this was most likely a false-flag operation).
* He's also been rumored to have been the cause of Anus Ron's testicular cancer, who probably had tried to pleasure himself with his body. The effect of cacti on the human body has been investigated ever since.
The Bacalhau Salesman

The **Bacalhau Salesman,** codename 'Kowalski'(birth date unknown), is a notorious drug dealer operating in the sewage treatment facilities of Mumbai. His most well known product is bacalhau, which consists in raw fish meat injected with codeine and heroin.

## Background

Not much is known about this particular fellow. Some rumors speculate that he is an illegal immigrant hailing from Portugal, who had been initiated in the drug dealing business by his parents. Whether this is true or not, there's no denying the fact that he has unrivaled experience with heroin and "lean" fabrication and dealing. These skills led up to the creation of the second most popular drug in Daveia: bacalhau.

Things weren't easy for him at his arrival, often struggling with the competition in Mumbai. In April 2001, however, he met Michael Mooson after a crack party, when both woke up naked next to a dumpster. Michael provided him with plenty of contacts from the Daveian embassies, with big names like Fagson Elnojewski in between. Ever since, his notoriety has only gotten higher

## Relations

Kowalski is well known to be friends with Michael Mooson, with who often goes rollerblading and consumes bacalhau with in the sewers he dwells in, as well as being one of Cakes' acquaintances, and has assisted him in the Kolkata Heisting Spree of 2011 along with Mooson.

He's also been seen causing drug fueled rampages and mosh pits in some of Elnojewski's crack parties, mainly due to bacalhau overdoses between the crowd.

## Trivia

* Some sources claim that his drug lab is located deep in the sewers of Mumbai. However, some say that those who tried to infiltrate it didn't survive.
* He claims to see Senile Larry often appear in his dreams, in which he reveals government secrets to him. No attempts to arrest him have been made yet.
Michael Mooson

Michael Mooson (birth date unknown) - a man-cow hybrid from Realm #3127 who accidentally made his way into this universe.

## Background

One of the newer servants/friends of Indian Dave, he came to Daveia in 1999. Despite being a great musician, he has not been recognized and lived in poverty until May 2000, when a passersby (who turned out to be Fagson Elnojewski) noticed him playing violin at a street corner, called him a cunt and ordered him to come to the embassy. Since then, Michael has been providing fiery hot mixtapes

for all kinds of occasions within the Daveian embassies (mostly for executions), and eventually worked his way towards the top.

## Relations

Close friends with Fagson Elnojewski, he has taken part in many crack parties and drug-fueled rampages along with him. Despite being arrested several times, neither of them went to jail.

Another one of his closest friends is Kowalski, with who he rollerskates and consumes large ammounts of bacalhau. According to Mooson, "it's the best fucking thing since 9/11". They're both known for taking part in the Kolkata Heisting Spree of 2011, led by his other acquaintance Cakes.

## Career

Michael Mooson is a well-recognized Tapecloud artist. Only few people know that most of his works contain subtle flow of Daveian propaganda and subliminal messages which draw people closer to either Daveia-approved viewpoints, or to suicide.

He is also an amateur film director, recently hired by Gautam Studio of India.
White Skies: The Baboon Who Lost It All

## Background

The flag production of Gautam Studio of India, based on a novel by Indian Dave himself; co-directed by Fagson Elnojewski.

## Plot

The movie is a direct sequel to *Monkey See, Monkey Do*, and picks up right where the original ended. A few months after Barry's death, Clyde the Orangutan the Meth Dealer and Jimmy the Heroin-Addicted Mandrill travel to India to seek Anus Ron's help in bringing Barry back.

Anus recognizes that spiritual rites of the highest magnitude are needed, and so he enlists Johnny Dickshot, Banus Bron, Strong George and a few others to re-create the most influential event from Barry's life, the Battle of the Iron Triangle. Barry's former squad travels to Vietnam and successfully recreates the battle, which allows Anus Ron to bend the time-space continuum just enough to let them all enter Baboon Heaven in their mortal form.

Banus Bron leads an offensive with the squad, while Johnny Dickshot and Moonman look for Barry himself; however, busting the baboon out of heaven is not as simple as it seems.

## Trivia

* This is one of the few movies that Fagson has not directed all by himself.
* The movie is based on true events.
Lump of shit

Lizard Jobs, formerly Steve Jobs of Apple Inc. is the resurrected corpse of Steve Jobs crossed with a lizard. He is the ruler of the realm of shit OCs (original characters) and was brought to life after Jeremy Hogson dug up Steve Job's corpse on October 10th, 2011 while on a crack overdose.

On October 10th, 2011, Jeremy Hogson stole the corpse and stored it in his basement, with the help of his friend Shlomo Shekelberg who was flying a chopper to carry the corpse across the ocean to reach Daveia. Hogson recalls placing a dead lizard onto Steve Job's chest and stabbing a stake through the lizard and into Steve Job's chest, piercing his heart and making a huge burst of energy fly out his chest, knocking Jeremy unconscious. Reports came in of a nude man wearing a hog mask running around with a body and the police came to the conclusion it had to be Jeremy, as no one else in Daveia wears a hog mask outside of Halloween.

When the police found Jeremy, Lizard Jobs had already awaken and was screeching loudly. The police, out of fear, tazed Jobs and was taken away along with Jeremy to the local police station. After questioning Hogson and learning what he did to create the monstrosity, they felt it was only right to banish Jobs to the realm of shit OCs using the help of Anus Ron and his cracksphoric solution to banish him without disclosing this to anyone, including Steve Job's family. Hogson was released after Indian Dave bailed him out with a bribery of a batch of CRECK™ for the entire station.

After Lizard Jobs arrived in the realm of shit OCs, the rulers there all decided that he was such a bad OC that they would pass down their crowns to him, thus making him the new ruler of the realm of shit OCs.
Hi, I'm Dave

A light-hearted love story featuring Indian Dave and a Thai transsexual crack whore, directed by Fagson Elnojewski and funded by Israel's Ministry of Jewish Propaganda as a token of Israeli-Daveian friendship.

## Plot

Indian Dave goes on a well-earned vacation to Thailand shortly after Daveian ***coup d'état*.**

During one of many wild crack-fueled parties he meets Lanquisha, a transsexual crack whore midget adopted and raised by an African-American couple.

They quickly fall for each other, but their love is not meant to be - Salamander Man also happens to be in Thailand at the time, planning his revenge...

## Trivia

* Salamander Man only agreed to star in this movie if Dave explained why he was so well-informed during the Dildo Market Crash; eventually, a compromise has been reached and Salamander was paid 2 tonnes of crack for his performance.
Chinese Negro Plant

The Chinese Negro Plant is a type of plant discovered (ironically) in Daveia by Daveian botanist Dr Evan Aklani.

## Classification

The Daveian Wildlife Preservation Society was not able to definitively classify the plant family this specimen belongs to; another unusual thing about it is that it hasn't been encountered anywhere (Daveia included) until 1998, which is the main leverage in Dr Evan's theory about the *chinese negro plant* being a Dave Corp. experimental specimen gone widespread, similarly to the wigger case, studied by his cousin (Daave Paul).

What differentiates it from other plants, is the uncanny ability to explode on contact with homosexuals. Researchers do not yet know whether or not it is an intentional behaviour, though it certainly seems to help with the plant's spread over wide areas, as the seeds can be carried on the clothes of the victim, in their hair, or in the flesh they pierced (depending on the size and velocity of exploding seeds).

## Trivia

* The plant kills over 7,320 Daveian citizens and injures over 11,401 on average every year, as stated in a report by the *DWPS*.
* *Daveian Wildlife Preservation Society* encourages Daveian citizens to get rid of the plant whenever they can, especially from public spaces, since it can spread and grow unusually fast and is a potential threat.
* The *Negro* part of the name comes from the color of its seeds, which have a distinctive brown tint.
Crack

A popular drug produced by Dave Corp.

## History

Crack was discovered accidentally by Indian Dave in 1923. Although the recipe is kept in secret, it is known that first crack was formed when Dave mixed sea salt with sugar and goat's blood. He liked the high so much he decided to improve on the manufacturing process, and so today's crack differs greatly in chemical composition - the effects, however, remain the same.

## Effects

Upon snorting the substance, one loses the concept of human limitations - the user becomes twice as strong, concentration is significantly improved, and the brain is able to process much more information than normally, which is also the main drawback. The mind, lusting for visual stimulation, creates vivid hallucinations - the concept of reality is completely lost.

There are also many other variations of crack - both from official production line and home-made laboratories, and with every different recipe the effects may be different.

Allegedly, Anus Ron uses self-made crack to reach above mortal plane and look through space and time.
Aminenus Gloves

A pair of leather gloves with unbreakable spikes made out of crystal meth.

## Background

The Gloves have originally been obtained by the Anus Warrior Clan, and their exact place of origin remains unknown. What is certain, though, is that in the right hands they serve as an extremely powerful weapon, able to crush any opponent in melee combat. Since the spikes are unbreakable, they are quite efficient at dealing piercing wounds in addition to increasing force behind each individual punch - the results are devastating for the average human.

As of late 2006, when the Anus Warrior Clan's remaining members were wiped out by Salamander Man's forces (Salamander Corps), the Aminenus Gloves in addition to other artifacts stored by the Clan have been in possession of Salamander Man himself.

## Trivia

* No one is certain why Salamander Man attacked and looted the Anus Warrior Clan. Some claim he did this in order to spite and destabilize Anus Ron, others speculate that Salamander was simply gearing up and getting his hands on every artifact available to launch an offensive on Indian Dave.
* When Salamander attacked, the Clan was close to dying off - it was just a dozen of the oldest remaining members, since the last born child in the clan was Anus Ron.
* The gloves are currently being used by Riley of Salamander Corps.
Borg (Movie)

A movie produced by Fagson Elnojewski, released in 2015. The production has been received very well and has dominated Daveian film rankings of the year, having surpassed titles such as *Jurassic World*, *The Avengers*, *Star Wars: The Force Awakens*, and even *Minions*.

## Plot

The story focuses on Borg's personal life during the 1980's. It incorporates many fantasy themes mixed with actual events - the plot begins with Borg's pilgrimage from Afghanistan to Zanzibar. During his journey, he gets bitten by a venomous snake and begins hallucinating. Further scenes are a mish-mash of real scenes and Borg's vivid imagination, featuring a dog-cat hybrid and a stuffed crack-addicted fox. A few hours after the bite Borg's body gives in and his fevered psyche takes over. In order to regain consciousness he has to finish his journey through the mystical mushroom land.

## Controversy surrounding the movie

The director's choice of the cast has sparked many protests. Elijah Wood was the first choice for the main character, but he got into a suspicious car accident a day before his interview. The director was forced to use CGI for Borg's character. Elijah later sued Elnojewski for staging the accident, but, mysteriously, withdrew the accusations the next day.