Carnival of Souls (OSI Version)

"*And now, back to the world's least successful organist transplant, Herk Harvey's 1962 classic, Carnival of Souls.*"
—Mr. Lobo

## The Episode

#### Wraps

**Wrap 1**

The broadcast begins as an episode of *Francois' Fly-By-Nite Theatre*, wherein rival horror host, Francois Fly, plots to sabotage Mr. Lobo's *Cinema Insomnia*, airing opposite in the same time slot, by showing the same movie, *Carnival of Souls*! And sell you a waterbed! The fiend!

**Wrap 2**

We're back with *Fly-By-Nite Theatre*, and Francois is still sleazing the slime. He expresses annoyance that he's getting phone calls telling him to stop doing Mr. Lobo dirty, and remarks that Mr. Lobo's doing a live feed from "some cow town." That elitist snob! *(\*I say this not yet knowing what the town is, and whether it has cows.)*

**Wrap 3**

Finally we've switched channels over to *Cinema Insomnia*, and he's broadcasting remotely from the Festival of Cinema at the Crest Theatre in Sacramento, California. (For the record they have LOTS of cows there.) Mr. Lobo delivers some brief words of wisdom(?) and then introduces us to reel one of tonight's feature, *Carnival of Souls!*

**Wrap 4**

Mr. Lobo delivers more brief words of wisdom citation needed and then segues to an ad break.

**Wrap 5**

Mr. Lobo is in his car, demonstrating how driving scenes can be used to lengthen a feature film. "Maybe if we're lucky, in our next reel our starlet will pick her nose at a stoplight." (Don't get excited, perverts! She doesn't.)

**Wrap 6**

Mr. Lobo is sitting on a bench and making regional landmark jokes for people out in Carmichael. Country Club Plaza! Floren Mall! Those dumps! Then he's menaced by possible bats.

**Wrap 7**

Mr. Lobo calls Utah freaky and then throws right back to the movie. That's how a pro does it. Get in, get out.

**Wrap 8**

Mr. Lobo quickly knocks carnies down a peg and throws to commercial. Ruthlessly efficient.

**Wrap 9**

It's your turn, Macy's. BOOM. This man is the SEAL Team 6 of horror hosts. Back to the movie.

**Wrap 10**

"*Destiny is the Fine Young Cannibal who sings* She Drives Me Crazy *at the top of her lungs, changes all our station presets when we're not looking, and, I don't know where I was going with that, I'm sorry.*"
—Mr. Lobo

Rod Serling, eat your heart out!

**Wrap 11**

Mr. Lobo plugs the Pizza and Pipes on Arden Way. #NotASponsor.

**Wrap 12**

Mr. Lobo drops a couple of grade-A dad jokes and gets us right back to the picture.

**Wrap 13**

Mr. Lobo gets his script pages mixed up and has to throw to commercial. This is a temporary setback, so Utah, carnies, and Macy's, don't get too comfortable.

**Wrap 14**

Insomniac Mail Sac, like from The Crest Theatre! Man, Corby Willoughby of El Dorado Hills is a downer. Lighten up, Corby.

**Wrap 15**

More viewer mail! Man, what a bunch of wimps. Can't take a little bad movie, ya wimps? They also seem to be under the impression that Mr. Lobo is showing the Wes Craven remake of *Carnival of Souls*, but he's not. He wouldn't do that to us.

**Wrap 16**

We switch back over to *Fly-By-Nite Theatre*, and Francois Fly is still pandering to the lowest common denominator, by screaming "boobs." I'm disgusted. I hope we stick around to see how much more disgusting it gets.

**Wrap 17**

Mr. Lobo is distracted by the low gas prices in 1962, and reflexively spoils the movie. But I mean, 25 cents a gallon? *Darth Vader is Luke's dad*, that's value!

**Wrap 18**

We're channel surfing again, this time ending up on *Horror House of Lady Skank'nstein.*

> "Me gooder horror host than Lobo and Fly. Lady Skank'nstein can show that movie too. You watch me 'cause me have boobies."
>
>

It's only fair to give her a chance, right? She makes a lot of good points.

**Wrap 19**

Ok, I think I understand the point they're making with this Lady Skank'nstein gag. They got me.

**Wrap 20**

We're back with Mr. Lobo and he's instructing us on movie watching safety. Nothing sexy about it. It's good to be home!

**Wrap 21**

We're finally back in the Void studio with a dozing Mr. Lobo. He wakes up to reveal that it had all been just a horrible nightmare! Or *WAS IT?* (Was it?)

### Ads

* "Rad" Abrams, Skate Board Attorney
* **Georgia Coffee**, "Twin Peaks"
* **Soaky the Fun Bath** bath bubbles, "the one where a young boy invites a mummy and the creature to take a bath with him"
* **Post**, "Sugar Rice Krinkles," starring Krinkles the Clown, trying really hard to make "krinkle" happen
* **Mattel**, "Thing Maker" with "Creepy Crawlers"
* **Hörsenmilken**, "Hörsenbutteren" (R.I.P. Doodlepuss Greasypants)
* Intermission/snack bar
* **Ricos** nachos
* Candles, Krankor and You
* **Sun Country** wine coolers, starring a polar bear who talks like Vincent Price
* **Good Year** "Double Eagle," "this tire needs a man!"
* **SOS** cleaning pads are loaded with soap, they CANNOT stress this enough

### Trailers

* *The Brain That Wouldn't Die* (1962)
* *Attack of the Killer Tomatoes* (1978)
* *Evil Dead 2* (1987)
* *Young Frankenstein* (1974)
* *Bride of the Monster* (1955)
* *Hellraiser* (1987)
* *Halloween* (1978)
* *The Keep* (1983)
* *Carnival of Souls* (1998)
* *Frankenhooker* (1990)

### Shorts

* "Queen of the House" (hands above the covers)

### Cast

* Mr. Lobo...Mister Lobo
* Miss Mittens...Self
* Francois Fly...Self
* Roxanne Chambers...Becca Costello
* Lady Skank'nstein...Danger Pussy

### Quotes

"*Tonight's feature comes standard with anti-lock brakes and rack and pinion screaming.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*On the road of life, destiny is that annoying backseat driver who constantly reminds us to change lanes.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*Destiny is the hitchhiker with the cardboard sign who reminds us that two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*Destiny is the Fine Young Cannibal who sings She Drives Me Crazy at the top of her lungs, changes all our station presets when we're not looking, and, I don't know where I was going with that, I'm sorry.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*I see dead people. All the time.* And they don't even know they're dead. *But that's not your problem.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*Artistic theft is part of the normal growth of any thriving culture.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*I'm not a psychiatrist, but I have a chair, and a pen, and big black glasses, and that makes me an authority on mental health.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*This 'Hollywood film' was actually made in Kansas, on a shoestring, which is actually a lot harder to load into a projector than standard film.*"
—Mr. Lobo
"*Me gooder horror host than Lobo and Fly. Lady Skank'nstein can show that movie too. You watch me 'cause me have boobies.*"
—Lady Skank'nstein
"*The label 'Wes Craven Presents' should be a universal warning placed on radioactive barrels and surgical waste.*"
—A viewer

### Trivia

* According to Francios Fly, you can buy the Wave Action 3 Waterbed exclusively at his store, Francios's Waterbed Outlet.
* Mr. Lobo has stated that Lady Skank'nstein was influenced by such real world horror hosts as Elvira and Misty Brews, but is rather a parody of those hosts' shallow imitators who mistook their sex appeal as the sole key to their success [paraphrasing].

### Gallery

*Fly-By-Nite Theatre's opening logo**Francois Fly and Roxanne Chambers**Horror House of Lady Skank'nstein opening logo**Lady Skank'nstein**Lady Skank'nstein**Lady Skank'nstein's castle?*

## *Carnival of Souls*

### Cast

Candace Hilligoss
Sidney Berger

### Runtime

80 minutes

She's dead.

1. ↑ https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/entrapment