10-20-40

Song by Rina Sawayama

"**10-20-40**" is the third track off of Rina Sawayama's debut extended play, *Rina*, released on 27 October 2017. Written by Sawayama and produced by Clarence Clarity, the lyrics offer an insight into Sawayama's experiences with depression and taking SSRIs, delivered through car-related metaphors.

## Background

According to Sawayama, the song is about "when I took citalopram for my depression and it made me really numb and weird and detached. I went up quickly in dose and I dont think that was good for me." In an interview with Hannah J Davies for *The Guardian* in January 2018, Sawayama explained:

> The metaphor is about teetering on the edge, but also the romance of driving, and the romance of taking Citalopram or being depressed in the media, when actually it's so mundane. It's a daily chore.
>
>

According to Sawayama, the song was originally called "Moody Christmas" in the fall of 2016, then eight months later renamed to "Cruise Control".

The title of the song "10-20-40" is most likely a reference to the UK dosages that Citalopram comes in: 10mg, 20mg and 40mg tablets.

## Composition

"10-20-40" is a "synth-led, part-spoken" track composed in the key of F Minor with a tempo of 98 beats per minute. In the song, Sawayama uses a moving car as a literal vehicle for her message. There’s also the question of mental health, race and the fact that the UK has never had a mainstream Japanese pop star.

## Lyrics

Driving with no brakes on

Waiting for your phone call

Talking to myself

Watching everybody else just

Roll on by

They think that I'm crazy

Not participating

Think I don't understand

What's another life out of seven billion?

Wanted to feel you but I'm numb

Don't even realize who I've become

Little white pill keeps breaking and entering

My body and mind

10, 20, 40, dumb

Happy, sad, crazy, numb

10, 20, 40, dumb

Happy, sad, crazy, numb

Trying for no reason

Giving up so easy

Talking to myself

Watching everybody else just

Roll on by

They think I'm amazing

Oh, so fascinating

See they don't understand

Don't know who I am

But do I?

The less you feel, the more you know

A reason to leave me in a cruise control

A little white pill will take me back

I hope you understand, it's my last resort

I've done it all

Wanted to feel you but I'm numb

Don't even realize who I've become

Little white pill keeps breaking and entering

My body and mind

(I wanted) Wanted to feel you but I'm numb

(Feel you) Don't even realize who I've become

(Don't even realize who I've become)

Little white pill keeps breaking and entering

My body and mind

10, 20, 40, none

Happy, sad, crazy, done

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 Davies, Hannah (16 January 2018). "Rina Sawayama: 'I go on social media, see how anxious I get, then write about it'". *The Guardian*. Retrieved on April 24, 2021.
2. ↑ "rinasawayama". CuriousCat (6 July 2018). Retrieved on April 24, 2021. “thank u ! its about when I took citalopram for my depression and it made me really numb and weird and detached. I went up quickly in dose and I dont think that was good for me”
3. ↑ "RINA SAWAYAMA on Twitter". Twitter (28 February 2019). Retrieved on April 24, 2021. “fun fact: 10 20 40 was originally called Moody Christmas in the fall of 2016 then 8 months later renamed Cruise Control before it finally formed into 10 20 40 for the album ~~~~ the process ! lol”
4. ↑ "How and when to take citalopram". NHS. Retrieved on June 3, 2022.
5. ↑ "Key & BPM for 10-20-40 by Rina Sawayama". Tunebat. Retrieved on April 24, 2021.