2023 Power Rankings-Week 12

## Introduction

Week 11 was one for the memory box. Two teams continued what could become miracle playoff pushes. One team lost their star QB and TE, and still beat the team with the 2nd-best record in the LOC. One team smacked down the defending champ. And the lone undefeated squad finally went down to none other than the league commissioner.

The closest game of the week was also the Matchup of the Week (nailed it!). RIPDab made the exciting decision to bench Josh Allen, who had broken 40 fantasy points in three of his last four games, in favor of Dab mainstay Kyler Murray. The homecoming sparked a lot of enthusiasm in the lockerroom, and Kyler delivered with 37.69 points. But Pain Train veteran, in the final year of his contract with the squad, threw down 31.60 points of his own. This lead to a MNF game in which Pain needed just three extra points from Jake Elliot to win the game. It took all night, but Pain finally put it away. They won by less than 2 points, and Josh Allen rode the pine for RIPDab with 44.73.

But there was another narrow win in week 11, and that was the insane victory by Sweet Dee. She lost Joe Cool and Mark Andrews Thursday night and looked dead in the water, but we all overestimated Idiots ability to perform well when facing someone other than me. LaPorta, Wilson, Kmet, and Diontae combined for 17.10 points. Aiyuk alone put up 40.60 for Sweet Dee. This came down to Big Booty Jeudy in primetime on Sunday night vs. Minnesota, and once again it came down to the second half. But he made a Big Booty play and got Dee over the top, sealing an upset that was only rivaled by...

A complete meltdown by Paddock 9. And not to say that Mattness blew the doors off of him. In a low-scoring week, Mattness was one of the only teams to break 200. But it was a performance full of faults. Faced with a flex decision between Cooks, Foreman, and Elijah, Mattness picked the worst of the three. Jake Ferguson is proving to be a liability at tight end. And Jakobi Meyers is basically Michael Meyers because he hasn't shown up since Halloween. But 50.63 from Herbert and 31.90 from Singletary was more than enough to bail out this team in the face of utterly disasterous performances on Paddock 9's side from AJ Brown (1.8), Cooper Kupp (2.10) and Stefon Diggs (6.70). The only player that you could say really balled out was Keenan Allen, and it just so happened to be the WR being thrown to by Justin Herbert.

So the perfect storm of suck ended the perfect season for Paddock 9. But don't cry for me, Argentina. Paddock 9 is 10-1 with the bye locked up and a chance this week to do something no team has ever done before: sweep their entire double-header slate. They are currently 9-0 in double-headers, having beaten four teams twice and Pain Train once. If they win this week, they will be a perfect 10-0 against the double-header slate. They also have a chance to be the first time with 13 wins, or the first team with fewer than 2 losses.

As far as Mattness? This was a huge win consdiring there are three 6-win teams breathing down their neck, and as much as this is a race for the bye it is also a race for the third seed. Any team that finishes 2nd or 3rd would not have to face Paddock 9 unless they happened to reach the Glory Bowl.

Double header win.

## Matchup Recap

* The Multiverse of Mattness pulls the upset of the season with a take down of the previously undefeated Paddock 9 (13-10). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* The Shotti Bunch continues his hot streak and gets a crucial win against a fellow bye-week contender ma ma momma said (11-12). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Sweet Dee shocks the entire league by pulling off a miracle victory to keep her season alive vs. The Stupid Idiots (4-6). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Papa's Posse, in one of the league's greatest rivalries, sweeps a double-header and eliminates the tragic Duck Punchers (12-11). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Pain Train kicks his way to a MNF win and keeps his season alive against a spiraling RIPDab (10-12). **Next Matchup: N/A**

## Stat Chat

* ma ma momma said becomes the 6th team to reach 80 regular season losses.
* The Shotti Bunch becomes the 3rd team to reach 90 regular season wins.
* The Shotti Bunch has tied Duck Punchers for the most seasons with 6 or more wins (11).
* Duck Punchers has reached nine regular season losses for the first time in LOC history.
* After never having a 4-game losing streak at any point in the first 12 seasons, Duck has had two different 4+ game losing streaks in 2023.
* Pain Train is on his first 3+ game win streak since 2020.
* Papa's Posse has now had a win streak of exactly three games at least once in four straight seasons. However, in none of those seasons did he win a fourth consecutive game.
* RIPDab is on his longest losing streak since 2019.
* The Dallas Shotti Cow Bunch Boys have been involved in the blowout of the week game 6 times in 11 weeks.

## Longest Win Streaks of All-Time (by Team) - Updated and Final

Last week we will need to post this one for a very, very long time.

Paddock 9 might have had their streak come to an end but they still set a record that will be incredibly hard to beat.

## Who's Hot, Who's Not?

It's that time again. We are heading full steam ahead towards the Festival of Champions. Who are the hottest teams in the league coming down the stretch?

Just as a reminder: charts are color-coded on the website but only if you read on your computer. Nothing has color on mobile.

Scoring Over Last Three Weeks
 The Shotti Bunch
 Sweet Dee
 The Multiverse of Mattness
 Pain Train
 Papa's Posse
 RIPDab
 The Stupid Idiots
 Duck Punchers
 ma ma momma said

Look at Sweet Dee sitting up in the top three. Imagine if they had not lost their TE and QB in the first half last Thursday? They'd easily be in 2nd here, if not first. At the bottom, shocking to see fourth place momma struggling, and it is bad news for her as she is facing the hottness this week in Sweet Dee.

## Playoffs??

With only three weeks left, there is just one team that could catch Paddock 9 for the Commissioner's Cup. And that team happens to be 492.92 points behind him in total score. It would take Mattness going 3-0, Paddock going 0-3, and Mattness outscoring Paddock by an average of 164 points a week, for P9 to somehow finish in 2nd place.

Therefore, we are here to declare that ***Paddock 9 has locked up the 1-seed for the Tournament of Champions.***

The only other thing we know for sure is that Duck Punchers will not be joining us in the 2023 Festival of Champions. Even though it appears that he could reach 5 wins and theoretically tie for the 6th seed, the reality is that the 5-6 Dee plays 5-6 Papa to finish the season. Therefore, the team in the sixth spot will finish at least 6-8. This is a record that Duck cannot reach.

Therefore, we are also here to declare that ***Duck Punchers has been eliminated from playoff contention.*** He is the only team guaranteed to not win Glory Bowl XIII.

Thanks to the Papa vs. Dee week 14 showdown, this also means that 8 wins = playoff lock. That's because the loser of that game can finish no better than 7-7. Since 8th place Dab is 4-7, that maens the bottom four teams cannot reach 8 wins.

### Magic Number

A Winning Magic Number is the number of consecutive upcoming games a team must **win** to guarantee winning a given playoff spot. These take into account scoring differentials deemed to be significant.

^ - Means Team will Finish Better Than this Playoff Spot

X - Means Team Cannot Win This Playoff Spot

Number - Indicates the total number of upcoming games the team must win in order to guarantee this spot.

DNCD - Means team Does Not Control Its Destiny, and thus even after winning all remaining games they need help from other teams, be it with scoring or victories

(B) - Indicates First Round Bye

### Elimination Number

An Elimination Number is the number of consecutive upcoming games a team must **lose** to guarantee losing a given playoff spot.

^ - Means Team will Finish Better Than this Playoff Spot

X - Means Team Cannot Win This Playoff Spot

Number - Indicates the total number of upcoming games the team must lose in order to guarentee losing this spot.

MW - Means team Might Win this spot even if they lose the rest of their games.

* - Indicates first round bye

## This Time Last Year... (2022 Week 11 Standings)

Last season Sweet Dee was sitting at 4 wins and that would be her final win total for 2022. She has already surpassed that with three weeks remaining.

Duck Punchers...poor, poor Duck Punchers.

And the bubble battle is even tighter than last year, with 6th place sitting at just 5 wins through 11 weeks.

## Above and Below

A chart to track how many games above/below projections for each team.

Take a look at Papa and Dab, each performing above their potential in 73% of games. Yet the trajectories of their seasons are vastly different.

## Absolute Standings

Absolute Standings tracks the standings if the top five scoring teams won every week regardless of matchup.

### 2023

A bad sign for momma, who has performed in the top-5 just three times in 11 weeks so far this year. That is not championship caliber scoring, but they are still in the hunt for the bye.

## Trade Tracker

### Nacua for Kupp

Starts (Paddock 9):

* 6

Starts (RIPDab)

* 7

Cooper started off hot, but the loss of Stafford, plus the bye, and now the injury, as turned Kupp into a JAG since week 6. Kupp has a chance to play this weekend, but with health becoming a concern again it is a question about whether he can be trusted in a starting lineup.

### Monty for Howell/Mostert

Starts (Paddock 9):

* David Montgomery - 2

Starts (Papa's Posse):

* Sam Howell - 1
* Raheem Mostert - 2

So far so good for both parties, except Papa decided to bench Howell and it could prove costly in week 12.

## Power Rankings - Week 10

### 1(1). Paddock 9

Still the hottest team, and this week has a chance to get right against his biggest rival. Seeing that they can bleed is scary if I'm P9 and you have to wonder...are they TOO good? A lot of his guys draw double coverage, and there is also a lot of volume which could wear guys down as we get into December. Makes you think.

### 2(2). The Shotti Bunch

The only two games this team has lost since week 4 have been to the two teams above them in the standings. Their remaining schedule is against three teams currently sitting in the consolation bracket and they already have a 20 point projected lead through four NFL games in week 12.

### 3(3). Multiverse of Mattness

Mattness knew as soon as his put his contact lenses in correctly on Saturday morning that anything was possible, and he proved it this week. Despite some poor decisions at flex and DEF, this team has managed to think far enough ahead to seal victories weeks in advance. This week 11 win is almost all thanks to beating Paddock 9 (owner of Dameon Pierce) to the waiver wire for Devin Singletary on November 2nd. Mattness also rode the Foreman train all the way into the station.

### 4(6). Papa's Posse

Papa magic continues as they have won four of five, but they'll need another big game from keeper Josh Jacobs and mainstay Adam Thielen to counteract a poor performance by Brock Ugly and a narrow sub-projection week from the Sun God Amon-Ra. Schedule Gremlin might bite their ass as they face three playoff teams to close the year.

### 5(10). Sweet Dee

RE2PECT. I mean holy shit, what a comeback. Is Sweet Dee a team of destiny? They survived a really bad situation last week, and they have swapped Burrow/Andrews for Russ Wilson/Njoku. And honestly, yes it is a downgrade. But for fantasy purposes, it's not as bad a hit as it could have been. Both players have been serviceable this year. They are already way ahead of momma after 39 points from Miami and another 44 point masterclass from CMC, proving that SD is the Pittsburgh Steelers of the league. No right being in a wild card spot but they continue to perform above expectations.

### 6(8). Pain Train

Is this the week the train comes to a stop and the playoff run hits a brick wall? The reality is that Papa, Dee and Pain Train are all looking to write a new chapter to the Festival of Champions Bubble Race saga. But not all of them are going to make the playoff. And Pain Train has the disadvantage of facing Paddock 9 coming off a weak performance. Even though they got a great game from Tony Pollard, Detroit Defense was a huge letdown. This one will likely come down to CJ Stroud and Tank Dell stack yet again.

### 7(4). Ma ma momma said

If you think that it smells like an old person's home in this team's lockerroom, it's because it is one. Guys are just gassed. Derek Henry and Tyler Lockett are exhausted from having to carry their weak ass fucking QBs for eleven weeks. Hollywood Brown has a heel injury. Hunt and Mattison, I mean they're fine? But really this is about the Patrick Mahomes problem. A guy who is so good you simply cannot bench him, right? And yet we have a large enough sample size to indicate that this is a down year for him (for fantasy). And Dak Prescott is having the season of his life on the bench.

### 8(5). Duck Punchers

Benches Kenneth Walker, he goes off. Starts him, he goes off...the field with an injury. What a gut punch to end the season for Duck Punchers. Every year it has to be someone, and for 12 years it was someone other than Duck. But in 2023 his number got called, and he had to go to the torture chamber to get put on the rack and stretched to the point of snapping in half.

### 9(7). The Stupid Idiots

Idiots had a week similar to Paddock 9. Everyone just had an off week together. It's been a regression towards the mean for Idiots after winning some early games with the odds against them. The good news is, they stacked 6 wins and have three chances left to get to 7, which could actually be enough to lock the playoffs depending on how the bubble teams fare this week. There is some hope to be had in Rashid Shaheed being less volatile now that this loser bitch ass Michael Thomas is out of the picture.

## Matchup of the Week: Viva La Revolution

I saw "Napoleon" last night, which was boring and on the verge of bad. One thing that struck me, other than how hot Vanessa Kirby is, was that it seemed like every ten minutes there was a new revolution in Europe. We talk about Western Civiliation like it has earned the right to be called anything with the word "CIVIL" in it. But my God are these fuckers always fighting or what?

Anyway...focus. Almost kickoff.

My point being, there is no such thing as stability in the world. One power is on top, and then an upstart comes from the gutters and overthrows.

That's where we stand this week. Momma, tied for third, will be overthrown in positioning by Sweet Dee if she can pull off yet another upset victory. At 5-6 and in 6th place, Dee is trailing Momma in scoring by less than 1 point. This is a massive game for both of these teams. Momma cannot afford to slip much further or they will find themselves out of playoff position. Sweet Dee, on the other hand, needs to capitalize on these matchups where they are projected for huge victories, because the going does not get easier over the final two weeks.

Momma is on a four-game win streak vs. Dee, including a September win earlier this year. However, they have already misstepped by benching Dak and his 50 points, while Dee is way overprojection thanks to a Black Friday deal where Miami was able to start one game/win one game for free.

While there is not a ton of primetime action, Austin Ekeler will take the field Sunday night for what seems like the 5th time, and Momma will roll out Mattison to cap off the week on Monday night.