Palutena's Guidance

Palutena's Guidance originated from Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and is based on the Snake Codecs from Super Smash Bros. Brawl. In Smash Wii U, they were activated by Pit performing his Smash Taunt on the non-Omega version of Palutena's Temple. Then Palutena and Viridi would tell Pit about the opponent that he is about to battle.

In Super ARC Bros. Brawl, Palutena's Guidance is now a feature in the Vault with its own sub-plot. There the player can pick any character in the roster and listen as Palutena, Viridi and some surprise guest characters tell Pit about the fighters. After the conversation is over, the player returns to the character select screen.

SUPER ARC BROS. BRAWL MAIN PAGE!

## **Intro**

Pit, Palutena and Viridi was having a tea-party when a portal just showed up and pulled all three of them into the world of "Super ARC Bros. Brawl". The intro will play every time the player selects "Palutena's Guidance" in the vault. After the intro has played once from beginning to end, it can be skipped over by pressing the Start button.

**Pit**: Hey, what just happened?

**Viridi**: Well that was just perfect, just when I thought we have achieved peace!

**Palutena**: Please calm down; there is no need to be afraid. Look at the bright side, we are in "Super ARC Bros. Brawl". Isn't that just hmm, should I say, "Goodly".

**Pit**: I do not mean to question you, lady Palutena. But how could you figure that out so quickly?

**Palutena**: Ahh, Pit, you are just so adorable. Did you not see the huge welcome sign that says, "Welcome to the Altar of Robin Williams stage of Super ARC Bros Brawl". It is right behind you!

**Pit**: Hehehe… Yeah right. How could I miss that...?

**Viridi**: Whatever, let’s just get out of here before someone forces us to guide you through this games entire roster.

**Palutena**: You know what, Viridi, let’s do it. Pit, you can stay here and play Smash 3DS while Viridi and I use Google to learn about these wonderful people that we might encounter. If Skyworld gets attacked again, then Dark Pit can take care of it. After all, Masahiro Sakurai loves him as much as he loves my godlike body.

**Pit**: Ah no Viridi, you should not have given her the idea!

**Palutena**: LOL!

## **Guidance's**

The character guidance's are listed in the order that they were confirmed in.

### **Fluffle Puff**

**Pit**: Hey look! It's Fluffle Puff!

**?**: Yes it is...

**Pit**: Wait, Medusa! You are still alive?

**Queen Chrysalis**: You are mistaken, Pit. I am Queen Chrysalis, the queen of the changelings.

**Pit**: Oh, I am sorry. You sounded just like Medusa and I confused the two of you together. But how did you get here?

**Queen Chrysalis**: When Fluffle Puff found out that you and your friends were going to do guidance's for everyone around here. She became so excited and wanted me to tell you how much I love her and I love her... a lot... actually, even if she can get on my nerves once in a while. But how do you know who Fluffle Puff is?

**Pit**: Just between the two of us... I am subscribed to FluffyMixer.

**Queen Chrysalis**: I see... You have no reason to worry; I have heard that your recolor friend is also a fan of hers. Hehehehe...

**Pit**: Dark Pit? Why does that make so much sense? But I do wonder where Palutena and Viridi are?

**Queen Chrysalis**: They are probably getting hugged to pieces by Fluffle Puff in the Fun Cave.

**Pit**: The Fun Cave? And how can Flufle Puff hug them there, she is standing right here.

**Queen Chrysalis**: Perhaps you will get a better understanding of the Fun Cave if I tell you a brief synopsis of the episode: "2ponesipillow.mov". She and I shared a pillow; it was good for a while. But then she smashed the pillow into my face, I became upset and threw the pillow back at her. Which cut her body in half, then the halves became wholes and suddenly, there were two Fluffle Puff's staring at me. Then they threw me straight into the Fun Cave and I did not need to eat any love for a whole month after that.

**Pit**: So Fluffle Puff has the ability to clone herself? Okay, anything else?

**Queen Chrysalis**: You have not watched that video yet?

**Pit**: No, your highness I have not watched that video yet. I guess I was to busy fighting Hades.

**Queen Chrysalis**: Yeah there is a lot more, but if I have to tell you everything, not only would we be here for the rest of the year. But as soon as I think I understand her, she does something that is so random and chaotic that would even make Discord scratch his head. Let's just say that, when fighting Fluffle Puff. Expect the unexpected, Fluffle Puff and logic goes as well together as water and oil.

**Pit**: Okay, thank you very much for the information your highness.

**Queen Chrysalis**: You are so welcome, oh look. Seems like your friends are back, have a lovely day Pit!

**Palutena**: Oh my, I'm so glad we managed to get back in one piece.

**Viridi**: Yeah, I can barely walk straight after that merry-go-round.

**Pit**: Hello Lady Palutena and hello Viridi, did you have fun in that Fun Cave?

**Viridi**: Don't ask...

### **Button Mash**

**Palutena**: Okay Pit, I have a question for you.

**Pit**: Sure Lady Palutena, what is your question?

**Palutena**: Are you a hard-core gamer?

**Pit**: Excuse me?

**Palutena**: Are you enough of a hard-core gamer to take on Button Mash?

**Pit**: But Lady Palutena, what does that have to anything?

**Palutena**: Button Mash is one of the most hard-core gamers in Ponyville. If you are playing video games against him especially Minecraft, you are most likely going to lose unless you are a hard-core gamer yourself.

**Pit**: Okay Lady Palutena, now I somewhat understand what you mean.

**Viridi**: Alright, I guess it is my turn to be the "Goddess of Necessarily Information" for this one. Button Mash in an 8-year old, blank flank Earth Pony colt that loves video games, he lives in Ponyville with his parents and older brother. Also, spoiler alert: He has a huge crush on Sweetie Belle.

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, you said that he really likes Minecraft. Is there anything about this fact I need to take into consideration when I am fighting him?

**Palutena**: Most of his special moves have Minecraft references in them, like his Up B and his Final Smash. He can build a bridge that he and even the opponents can use to recover from a fall. He can also send out a train that can catch fire for no reason and use it as a trap on the stage.

**Viridi**: But he is also one little cry-baby, if the littlest negative thing happens to him. Like not winning a reward on a juice-box or failing to beat a videogame. I mean seriously, he is such a little...

**Palutena**: Come Viridi, give Button a chance, he is just a foal.

**Pit**: But I still believe that he is strong enough to fight back, even if he is a child/foal. I mean; Ness, Lucas and Villager are children and yet they have given me trouble in the past. But honestly, I think I will start to watch his show, the things you have told me about made me intrigued.

**Palutena**: Yes, you sure have to watch his show! It is really great...

**Pit**: What's wrong, Lady Palutena?

**Palutena**: We probably should not expect another episode of Buttons Adventures, because JanAnimations got shut down by Hasbro for copyright claims. It is so sad; the poor little guy had such a hard life. I really wanted to see his show to continue beyond the pilot.

**Viridi**: Yeah right, you and thousands of bronies only want to show to continue so you can have adult fantasies about Button's mother!

**Pit**: Well, it is not the first time the mortals have adult fantasies about a pony...

### **The Miz**

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, is that guy related to Captain Falcon?

**Palutena**: No Pit, he is not. That is Michael Gregory Mizanin, better known as "The Miz". He is an American Professional wrestler, reality television star, media personality and actor signed to WWE.

**Pit**: Okay, if he is a wrestler, then he must be really good at close-up battles... but not as good at distance fighting, right?

**Palutena**: Good call Pit, so try to take advantage of your aerial battle skills while fighting him!

**Pit**: Sure, but is there anything else I need to know about him?

**Viridi**: Well if you really want to get technical. The Miz is 1.88 meters tall, he weighs 100 kilograms, he is 34 years old, he was born in Parma - Ohio and he is going to star in an episode of the TV-show "Sirens" during 2015. Well, is that good enough for you Pit?

**Pit**: Well... Thank you very much for that information, Viridi. But hold on! Who is that guy that he can summon out of nowhere?

**Palutena**: That is probably his former protégé; Alex Riley. The Miz used to treat him like a brother, but after he was abused by Riley for months. The Miz really started to hate him. It all became worse when Alex won against the Miz during Raw 07/0411. The Miz became so humiliated by his loss so he attacked Alex Riley after the game was over.

**Viridi**: Are you siding with this buffoon? The situation can be looked from both angles and I think both sides were right and wrong at the same time.

**Pit**: But why would he summon an enemy of his to fight by his side?

**Palutena**: Because he thinks that Alex Riley is still going to do everything he tells him to do. But if they do end up getting close to each other, then Alex will start to fight The Miz instead.

**Pit**: Alright, I guess I am all set to go! But something tells me that he has even more tricks up his sleeve...

**Viridi**: Unless you count his humongous ego as a weapon, then there is not much else you need to worry about. Yes, he thinks that is so awesome when he really is not. Really, one of his legs should say "Chumpstain" and the other "Dorkzilla"!

**Pit**: Whatever you say, Viridi.

### **Arthur - King of the Britons**

**Palutena**: Seems like you are going up against the King of the Britons. Isn't that right Pit?

**Pit**: The King of the Britons? You mean King Arthur? AM I GOING TO FIGHT KING ARTHUR!?

**Palutena**: To be more specific, you are fighting the Monty Python incarnation of the famous king.

**Pit**: Monty Python, I have heard about something like that before. But what exactly is it? Is it like a British surreal comedy group who created their sketch comedy show Monty Python's Flying Circus, which first aired on the BBC on 5 October 1969?

**Viridi**: Hahahahaha! Oh Pit, You just answered your own question!

**Palutena**: Yes Pit, you certainly did! Well, seems like the writer of this Guidance really wanted you to look like a smart little angel this time.

**Pit**: Wait a minute! I am just reading the script that the game designer gave me!

**Viridi**: Yeah, a script? That is just silly! I mean, how can somebody already know what we are going to tell you about these characters?

**Pit**: But what if Hades has revived himself and is now working with Masahiro Sakurai to...

**The British Army**: GEEEEET OOOOON WIIIIITH IIIIIT!!!!!!!

**Pit**: Where did that come from?

**Palutena**: I don't know, but maybe we should go back on topic. Arthur - King of the Britons (Yes that is his name in this game), is a king obviously who went out on a quest to seek the Holy Grail.

**Pit**: Oh, that sounds familiar.

**Palutena**: And it should, because it is just like the legend. Although I am certain that the original legend did not contain killer rabbits, huge Trojan Rabbits, random musical numbers, stop-motion animations, a black knight who can live even after all of his limbs have been cut off or knights of NI.

**Viridi**: In other words: The Monty Python adaptation is nothing but a comedy-flick based on an old legend. So do not confuse this King Arthur with the actual one.

**Pit**: So I shall expect him to do some strange things that did not happen in the actual legend? Okay, I think I am all set! But one more question: did he actually find the Holy Grail?

**Palutena**: I cannot answer that question Pit. There are people out there who are reading this guidance that has not seen that movie yet, so I am not going to spoil the ending for them. Either way, good luck.

### **The Fonz**

**Palutena**: Wow, I… cannot believe it?

**Pit**: Lady Palutena? Are you talking about that guy over there?

**Palutena**: Yes Pit, he is just so... Oh! Did I start daydreaming? Oh, sorry Pit.

**Viridi**: Seriously Palutena! You do not even act like this when looking at Captain Falcon!

**Pit**: Well it is not like this dude is not charming...

**Viridi**: Excuse me?

**Pit**: Do not take this the wrong way! Either way, who is this guy?

**Palutena**: Okay, I am calm now. This man is Arthur Herbert Fonzarelli aka "Fonzie" or "The Fonz". He is an Italian/American man from the fictional town of East Meadow in the classic TV-Show "Happy Days". It is interesting that you made the connection to Captain Falcon, Viridi. Because they can be compared, when he talk about that they are both slightly full of themselves, they both gets all the ladies, they have both fought extraterrestrial beings, they both have a hard time admitting when they are wrong and they both are pretty good looking. At least if you ask me, hehehe!

**Pit**: This guy has been fighting extraterrestrial beings?

**Palutena**: Something wrong, Pit?

**Pit**: Well, I am just surprised that he has been fighting extraterrestrial beings. He looks pretty average to me. But is he hiding something?

**Palutena**: Well he was able to fight toe-to-toe against Tom Hanks and Mork who is the extraterrestrial being I was referring to earlier. He can make all the animals in a forest to stop making noises just by telling them and let’s not forget that he jumped over a shark. Thus inventing the phase: "Jumping the Shark".

**Viridi**: In other words: The Fonz is pretty much the Captain Falcon of the 1970's-1980's.

**Pit**: Okay, I'll do my best and hopefully come back in one piece. Wish me luck!

### **Harry Potter**

**Palutena**: Oh hello there Pit, I see that you are about to fight Harry Potter.

**Pit**: Sure, I guess...

**Palutena**: Why the concerned face, Pit?

**Pit**: The expression on your face gave me the impression that you were disappointed in me somehow.

**Palutena**: Disappointed in you? Of course not, if that was the message I accidentally gave you. Then I am sorry about that.

**Viridi**: Perhaps I should tell our winged friend about Harry Potter.

**Pit**: Sure go ahead, Goddess of Nature!

**Viridi**: Harry Potter is a student at Hogwarts, the school of witchcraft and wizardy. He is a member of the house of Gryffindor. Trust me when I say that he is a really talented young wizard.

**Pit**: Well, if you know me. I barley underestimate my opponents. Anything else I need to know?

**Palutena**: The reason why he is so talented now is because he studied hard and fought many battles to became as great as he is today. But he also had to face the sad sight of seeing people he loves die right in front of him. And he could do nothing to save them, most notably his parents that where killed by Lord Voldemort when he was just a baby.

**Pit**: Okay, now I really do not want to fight him.

**Viridi**: WHY NOT?!

**Pit**: Because, if I win, I would probably get as fired up as I usually do. This gives him the message that I wish the worst for him beyond his loss.

**Palutena**: Kind of like how you felt about me earlier. HEY! I know! If you ask politely, maybe we could instead of fighting him, play a game of Quidditch against him.

**Pit**: Quidditch?

**Viridi**: That is a sport that witches and wizards play regularly, I do not know the rules so maybe Harry could explain them to you if he accepts our offering.

**Pit**: Sure, I'll go and introduce myself to him and then ask for a Quidditch match.

**Palutena**: That sound good, I would defiantly like to see how you fair in that sport. Since you do not need a broomstick to fly around. Hehehe...

### **Derpy Hooves**

**Pit**: is that a real pegasus? Wow I have always wanted to ride on one!

**Viridi**: Really Pit? Why would you need a Pegasus, you already have wings!

**Pit**: But it is a pegasus pony...

**Palutena**: Indeed it is Pit, her name is Derpy Hooves. She is a pegasus pony that lives in Ponyville, Equestria. She is part of Ponyville’s Weather team and works as a mail-mare. Also, she really loves muffins especially lemon muffins.

**Pit**: Alright... did you have to mention muffins, now I am getting hungry.

**Viridi**: Oh Pit, why do you always get hungry, like all the time?

**Pit**: HEY! Fighting the forces of the Underworld is actually pretty tiresome! Whatever, I will talk to Derpy and see if has some of those lemon muffins to share. I can get one for each of us.

**Palutena**: Pit, you should properly not do that. Last time someone took one of those lemon muffins, she ended up so angry that she almost destroyed all of Ponyville with her laser beams that she can fire from her eyes.

**Pit**: She can fire lasers out of her eyes? Well, I have seen weirder things in the Smash Bros games. Is she okay?

**Palutena**: Why do you ask?

**Pit**: I mean she does not look right with the way her eyes are positioned.

**Palutena**: Well, that is probably another thing you should not mention out loud. Ever since she was born, she has problems with controlling her front pair of legs. More often than not, she will end up breaking things due to her clumsiness. It is a problem she has to live with. But she is still loved by a lot of bronies because she gives people with similar problems confidence in themselves.

**Pit**: Well it is really good to see that she can stand up as an inspiring figure in the dark and twisted world that we have today.

### **Eric Sykes**

**Viridi**: Hahahahahaha!

**Pit**: Excuse me, Viridi. But what's so funny?

**Viridi**: Oh, Pit. Have you not seen "The Plank"?

**Pit**: "The Plank"? I guess not...

**Viridi**: You see, that man over there is Eric Sykes. He is a British Comedian that might even be as famous as Rowan Atkinson.

**Palutena**: He and his friend Arthur Lowe were construction workers that were just working on a house. When they realize that a plank is missing and they, like, go on a little adventure to get a new plank.

**Pit**: Well I hope that Eric will get his plank back in one piece.

**Palutena**: Actually, the plank that they were searching was actually taken by two children that used it as a See-Saw.

**Pit**: So why did they not ask to get the plank back?

**Palutena**: I don't know! I guess they did not what to be rude to the children, if they only they knew what would happen while they were gone.

**Pit**: Okay, so what happened?

**Viridi**: Pit, you should know by now that spoilers are generally not appreciated when it comes to movies, even if they came out in the 70's.

**Pit**: But hold on... Didn't Eric Sykes die in 2012? So how is he able to fight in this game?

**Palutena**: And how many times have you died when you thought fighting Master Fortress was a good idea?

**Pit**: Yeah, I am sorry...

### **PSY**

**Pit**: Hey look everyone! It is PSY!

**Palutena**: Is that really him?

**Pit**: It looks just like him in my eyes. Or are you saying that this could be a mimic?

**Viridi**: Let's just assume that it is a mimic. I mean, he was going to be playable in Lawl ARL, but he was removed because of possible copy-right claims. If the real he could not get in there, then how could the real him possibly get into this game?

**Pit**: That seems to make sense.

**Palutena**: Listen Pit, PSY can use his dance moves as attacks while fighting you...

**Pit**: He fights by dancing?

**Palutena**: Exactly! He is also able to manipulate the opponents to things that either benefits PSY himself or just messes up the opponents. For example: he can shoot out a small laser at you, which will force you to walk backwards while he hops towards you. So Pit, you better watch out. Hey, Pit, have you fought against people in Smash that used attacks that changed your mobility for a while?

**Pit**: Not that I can remember. Why did you ask?

**Palutena**: I thought that you could use the same strategies on PSY as you did on these opponents. But maybe I was referring to a character in "Super Bash Sisters".

**Viridi**: So you are still thinking that "Super Bash Sisters" is a real game. Seriously, if that game did exist, then it would probably flop pretty hard.

**Palutena**: Well, since you said that Viridi. I am going to tell Sakurai to make that game a reality or maybe it could be a DLC-expansion for Smash 4? You never know... Either way, back on topic! Even if PSY is extremely famous, do not hesitate on not showing any mercy to him, Pit. He might take advantage of you when you do that and knock you of the stage.

**Pit**: I understand that you mean and I will take this into consideration. But I still have a hard time believing that I am actually going up against PSY, one of the most beloved modern-day music artists of all time.

**Viridi**: Well his "Gangnam Style" music video on Youtube currently has 2 236 711 915 views and that number sure is increasing. But I have a feeling that in ten years, he will probably be forgotten.

**Palutena**: Probably, but Pit before you fight him I have one more thing I need to tell you. And it is extremely important so listen carefully!

**Pit**: I am listening, Lady Palutena!

**Palutena**: OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE!!!

**Viridi**: Oh, that was soooo lame!

### **Kamikirimusi**

**Pit**: This woman over there looks really strong.

**Viridi**: Yes, that is Kamikirimusi. She was a bonus-character in Soul Calibur that uses the same fighting style as Nightmare.

**Pit**: I kind of get a "Magnus-vibe" when I look at her. It might be because of that really large sword of hers.

**Viridi**: Yeah, Magnus. But I am certain that Kamikirimusi would mop the floor with Magnus, since she also an oni.

**Pit**: Oni? What does that mean?

**Palutena**: An Oni is a demon from Japanese folklore that is all I know about them.

**Pit**: So she is basically a demon? Like the ones that works for Hades!?

**Palutena**: Of course she is not. Kamikirimusi is far more intelligent and way more trained combatant then these creatures that you destroy on a daily basis.

**Pit**: Hey, I was just wondering?

**Palutena**: Like what Viridi just told you; Kamikirimusi uses the exact same fighting-style as Nightmare. So just remember how you fought against him and you will probably do alright against her.

**Pit**: But I have not fought any "Nightmare's", let alone the one from her universe.

**Palutena**: Oops, I forgot. Sorry about that... Maybe a better comparison is Ike since both of them fights with two-handed swords that they use with one hand.

**Pit**: Perhaps, but Ike is not a demon.

**Viridi**: Come on Pit. Can you at least see the connection Palutena is trying to make?

**Pit**: Of course I see it, and I think I sort-off understand how she would fight.

**Palutena**: Then I wish you the best of lucks while fighting her. And remember, even if you lose, then I will still be very proud of you.

### **Vinyl Scratch**

**Pit**: I think I have seen this pony before, but I cannot set my finger exactly where.

**Palutena**: Well, there was the time when you entered that techno-club in am attempt to forget that you lost your old Side B.

**Pit**: Oh yes, I remember now. Sorry about doing that...

**Palutena**: Nah, it is okay. Just be kind and do not do it again, please.

**Pit**: Absolutely, Lady Palutena! It will not happen again. But who is she anyways?

**?**: Well, to start things of: She is my roommate.

**Pit**: Is she your roommate? Well that is some useful information, miss... excuse me but who are you?

**Octavia Melody**: I am Octavia, a violin player from Canterlot. That unicorn mare over there is DJ Pon-3 or "Vinyl Scratch" as everypony likes to call her. She is a DJ that really loves to stay up late at the nights and play her so called: "music".

**Pit**: I find it unusual that you two can live together, despite having such drastic taste in music. I mean classical music and techno is just like apples and oranges. Both are music, but completely different types of music, if you know what I mean?

**Octavia Melody**: Yes, our musical tastes do contrast quite a lot. But she is still great; I would not trade her away from anything. Even if losing her means that my musical talent could be expanded to other worlds beyond Equestria, like yours for instance.

**Viridi**: Well, I can say that classical music is way more popular in Skyworld than it is in my world. Over there we prefer well... non-classical music.

**Palutena**: Either way, could we get back on topic?

**Octavia Melody**: I agree! Since Vinyl is a unicorn, she obviously has access to magic and she uses it quite a lot while working. Though sometimes she forgets that she can use magic and that usually results in quite problematic situations between the two of us. But I still like her as much as she likes me, I especially appreciate that she does the dishes every morning. But...

**Pit**: What is wrong, Octavia?

**Octavia Melody**: Well there is only one problem: She cleans the dishes with... wubbs. Urgh! And do not get me started on that "Base-Cannon" or hers. But oh well, I guess those differences does not really matter that much.

**Viridi**: Well, if you could stand each other up to this point. Then I am certain that it could last for at least another hour or two.

**Palutena**: You never change do you, Viridi.

**Viridi**: Why, if it is not broken then why fix it. Hehehe!

### **Harmonica**

**?**: Hello there Pit, I see that you are fighting my daughter.

**Pit**: That brown unicorn over there is your daughter?

**?**: Exactly, I am Smash Gamer and she is Harmonica.

**Viridi**: Hold on a moment there! According to the information that Palutena and I have gathered about this game. You are supposed to be working for Feral Chaos!

**Smash Gamer**: Oh, I... I guess this is a whole alternate universe then. Where I go corrupted and...

**Viridi**: Alternate universes huh, give me a break!

**Smash Gamer**: Hehe, alternate universes is the last thing that you need to worry about in "Super ARC Bros Brawl"! Alright where was I... Oh yes! I was going to tell you about my daughter. All I am going to say is that... she makes me so proud of her!

**Palutena**: Really, is that all information you are going tell Pit?

**Smash Gamer**: Oh course not! She may not be as talented with magic as Twilight Sparkle or Trixie, but she is certainly way better than me! Hehehe!

**Pit**: But you are an earth pony!

**Smash Gamer**: Exactly, that is why she is leagues above me when it comes to magic! Though to be exact, I am a half Pegasus/half earth pony, but whatever. She is also a pretty skilled Pokémon Trainer and has a pretty sarcastic sense of humour. But she is still a strong, brave and loving mother who fights to protect her foals and her friends from all types of threats! The most recent one seems to be this games' incarnation of myself after taking some magic steroids given to me by Chaos!

**Viridi**: Are you done now?! You talk more than Hewdraw, and he is three guys in one!

**Smash Gamer**: What's wrong you adorable little goddess of nature? Are you in love with my voice or something?

**Viridi**: EXCUSE ME!

**Smash Gamer**: Sorry, I was just kidding! But believe me; I also had to listen to my wife's speeches about humans. Which I actually enjoyed, since she is a really good talker... and one beautiful mare! Oh Baby!

**Palutena**: Pit, I would probably recommend you to not fight Harmonica and join her to defeat Night Terror and Feral Chaos!

**Pit**: You got it, Lady Palutena! Hopefully she accepts my offer!

**Smash Gamer**: Just be careful with your words, Pit. If you are not, then she might think that you are flirting with her.

**Pit**: I understand, thank you very much mister!

**Smash Gamer**: You are welcome!

### **Pen**

**Pit**: Guys did one of you just drop your pen?

**Palutena**: Oh, no Pit we did not. That is just Pen.

**Pit**: Yes I see that it is a pen, but whose is it?

**Palutena**: I think that is actually your opponent, Pit.

**Pit**: So I am about to fight… a pen? Man, this place is awkward.

**Palutena**: Totally, but listen carefully. You can take advantage of Pen’s light weight and use it against him to make sure that he won’t be able to recover.

**Viridi**: Pen is actually the lightest character in the entire roster. Pretty obvious though, since he is a Pen.

**Pit**: So I am fighting a pen named “Pen”… what else do I need to know?

**Palutena**: That he participated in a competition called “Battle of Dream Island”, where he and other inanimate objects go their strength, stamina, speed and friendship tested by a jerky talking speaker. Is far as I know, Pen got pretty far.

**Pit**: So he is like an athlete or something?

**Palutena**: Not really, but do not underestimate him Pit. If he wins, he will probably write down his victory on your forehead. So do not lose in this upcoming battle.

**Viridi**: After you are done fighting him, you can use him to write his own final words, or perhaps a poem of some kind…

**Pit**: Good idea, Viridi. I am thinking of writing a letter to Dark Pit to see what he is doing.

**Palutena**: Good idea, but first you have to defeat Pen before you can write with him.

### **Dr. Facilier**

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, I have a feeling that this man has some connection to dark magic.

**Palutena**: You are right when you make the connection to dark magic. Dr. Facilier is an evil bokor or a witch doctor, whose goal is to take over New Orleans.

**Pit**: Well, he does make me feel a little scared out just by him looking at me.

**Palutena**: Actually, he makes me a little uncomfortable as well. But that is mostly because of his powers and "friends" other than his kind of... should I say... Disney-like-appearance.

**Pit**: You said that he has "friends", should I worry about them?

**Palutena**: Yes Pit, you should. His "friends on the other side" are in fact the source of his dark powers. They are Loa's, multitudes of dark spirits which appears in the forms of voodoo masks in his Voodoo Emporium. But while he usually calls upon them for help, Dr. Facilier is in actuality deeply indebted to them already and he secretly fears them.

**Viridi**: Oh enough of this Voodoo-nonsense already! Pit, just kick him between his legs and call it a day.

**Palutena**: I am afraid it is not that easy Viridi. Most of these "friends" also manifest Dr. Facilier's shadow, which can make its own movements despite the direction of light or his own body and it can even affect solid people by their shadows. For example, if his shadow kicks Pit's shadow, then Pit will react as if he was kicked.

**Viridi**: Ah, Pit will find a way around it. Like he always does, right?

**Pit**: Well, yes I will do my best.

**Palutena**: Wait; there is also one more thing you need to worry about!

**Pit**: What is it, Lady Palutena?

**Palutena**: Dr. Facilier is a massive trickster. He can create illusion that reflects your deepest desire, in order to make you do anything he wants in order for you to stay in your illusion forever.

**Pit**: Then I can safely say that he has already trapped me there, because my deepest desire is to serve you and your army for the rest of my days. I could never dream of wanting anything else.

**Palutena**: Oh, that's so sweet of you Pit!

**Viridi**: Oh, too much sugar for my taste! I'm leaving!

### **Dr. Manhattan**

**Palutena**: Oh... dear... is he playable in this game too?

**Pit**: Lady Palutena? Are you all right?

**Palutena**: It is just that... well Pit... That person over there is quite possibly the most powerful opponent that you will ever face... ever!

**Pit**: Are you sure, because I have faced plenty of powerful opponents. Including Hades, Medusa and you when you when the Chaos Kin had you under mind-control.

**Palutena**: Pit, these guys looks like shrimps compared to this guy. This man is Jonathan Osterman aka Dr. Manhattan, he used to be nuclear physicist. But then shortly after his 30th birthday, he was transformed into his current form when he got himself locked inside an intrinsic field experiment test chamber.

**Pit**: I admit that I know nothing about nuclear physics, but something tells me that he must have been exposed to A LOT of energy during that accident.

**Palutena**: Yes, it certainly was a lot of energy. The energy was so strong that Jonathan was instantly vaporized and officially declared dead.

**Pit**: But if he was declared "dead" because of the accident, then how come he is alive right now?

**Palutena**: During the following month he has been progressively reforming himself, until he fully reappeared as he looks now.

**Viridi**: Now because of the transformation, he is pretty much as close to a god as a mortal could come. He thinks that he is so "above humans" that he cannot even comprehend the need to wear cloths. Thankfully he is forced to wear a pair of shorts while he is in this game.

**Palutena**: Yes that is good. We cannot have a naked blue guy running around during the matches and beating up the other characters. And it is true that his new "status" as a "god" has made him lose his humanity and empathy over time.

**Pit**: I am starting to get a little scared of this guy. What kind of powers does he have?

**Palutena**: Well let's see, he has: super intelligence, super-human strength, telekinesis, teleportation, control of matter at sub-atomic level, near-omniscience and personal precognition, force-field creation, projection of destructive energy, full perception of time (perceiving past, present, future simultaneously), physiological manipulation (size, density, color etc.), near physical immortality (able to walk on surface of the Sun), ability to reverse entropy, ability to create life, ability to allow objects to pass through him, ability to reconstruct himself on the atomic scale, ability to create fully independent copies of himself and has no need for air, food or water to survive.

**Pit**: ...

**Viridi**: And you Pit, you are just an angel. The world's smartest angel poses no more threat to him than the world's smartest termite.

### **Cookie Monster**

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, who is this huge, blue, hairy thing right there?

**Palutena**: That is the Cookie Monster. He is of the most famous citizens of Sesame Street and a hero among children.

**Pit**: The Cookie Monster?

**Palutena**: Do not worry Pit. He is very kind and friendly, despite his name saying otherwise...

**Viridi**: But I would recommend you to stay away from his cookie jar! If he finds out that you have eaten his cookies, then he will not be so happy anymore.

**Pit**: Alright, but why is he called the Cookie Monster? Does he like cookies or something?

**Palutena**: He sure does. Some say that he eats his own weight in cookies every week. Yet he still hasn't gained weight since he became an adult.

**Viridi**: It seems like he is a really greedy fur ball. Does he not know that greed is a sin? Oh well, hopefully he understands that all these cookies will bite him back some day!

**Palutena**: Actually if you are friendly and polite then he might actually share his cookies with you. That is why he is so beloved. He eats tons of cookies but he shares even more cookies with his friends. So let’s not be mean to the guy, he already had a rough time when he was almost close to be brainwashed by Michelle Obama.

**Pit**: Huh? What happened?

**Viridi**: Long story short! Michelle Obama thought that the Cookie Monster manipulates children to eat unhealthy food. So she brainwashed him into becoming the "Veggy Monster", so that children would start eating vegetables. Actually, this reminds of the time Palutena tried to cook. Hahahahaha! That was comedy gold.

**Palutena**: Can we please get back on topic.

**Pit**: That sounds really sad that he was changed, just because one woman thought he manipulated children. I am sure that it was a misunderstanding.

**Palutena**: But now he is back to normal, well at least in the universe of this game. So anyways, I wish you good luck in battle. Try to use your speed to take advantage of his slow mobility. Or you can use your Guardian Orbitars, because they always work don't they.

**Pit**: Actually, I do not want to fight him. Maybe we can invite him to a dinner party instead.

**Viridi**: And risk him eating up all of our cookies, no thank you!

**Palutena**: It’s alright, Viridi. We can put the bill on Thanatos.

### **Rémi Gaillard**

**Palutena**: All right Pit, I hope you are prepared for endless pranks. Because that is exactly what is going to happen to you!

**Pit**: Pranks?

**Palutena**: After he lost his job at a shoe store, Rémi began to use his free time to have fun and run pranks on the public. He gained attention in the French media after performing a series of well-documented pranks, including an appearance disguised as a Lorient soccer player in the 2002 Coupe de France final match, during which he took part in the winners' celebrations and was greeted by the then president of the French Republic, Jacques Chirac. He plays football and has posted videos showing his skills, including one with Brazilian legend Ronaldo.

**Pit**: He seems to be pretty good at his "job".

**Palutena**: Indeed. There was one prank he made, when he dressed himself up as a snail and crawled really slowly in the middle of a highway. Which in turn slowed down the traffic and made the drivers really mad. Though his Youtube viewers probably got themselves a good laugh out of it.

**Pit**: Yeah, I had a feeling that this guy would be popular on Youtube.

**Viridi**: You don't say? As of March 2012, he is the seventeenth most subscribed comedian on YouTube! And that number has either increased or decreased since then.

**Palutena**: Rémi Gaillard has also appeared in several sport events, TV game shows and political rallies as well as the 2011 Banksy-produced documentary The Antics Roadshow.

**Pit**: Seems like people can become famous for anything nowadays and I am fully aware that comedy is subjective. But I am still not sure if Rémi Gaillard's comedy can continue doing this for a much longer time.

**Palutena**: Okay Pit, let me tell you why Rémi is so popular. Like if I have not told you why already, but it is okay. I really like to tell you random stuff about your opponents. Very well: Rémi Gaillard became famous for his videos where he displays an "outrageous" style of humour and challenging public norms. Recurring themes include dressing up as and interpreting the behaviour of various animals in public, racing unsuspecting car-drivers whilst dressed up as Mario à la Mario Kart, and numerous provocative interactions with parking enforcement officers and the police.

**Pit**: Ah, just like the snail-on-the-road prank you mentioned earlier.

**Palutena**: Exactly! And you will surely see him dress up as a bat and the snail in his moveset while you are fighting him.

**Viridi**: Can I talk now?

**Pit**: Yes, of course Viridi!

**Viridi**: Thank you! Rémi Gaillard's satirical motto is C'est en faisant n'importe quoi qu'on devient n'importe qui. The exact meaning is, "It is by doing anything that we become anyone". The understood meaning is, "It is in doing whatever that we can become whatever" satirical because "doing whatever" implies goofing off but becoming whatever implies greatness. It plays on a classic French proverb C'est en forgeant qu'on devient forgeron. Literally translated the proverb reads, "It's by forging that one becomes a blacksmith."

**Pit**: That makes sense, since by flying around in NES "Kid Icarus", I eventually became a playable character in Super Smash. Bros Brawl and then managed to revive our entire franchise with "Kid Icarus: Uprising".

**Palutena**: And that was very sweet of you to "fly around" back in the 80's. It makes me so proud of you. You know what, get over here and give this beloved and smoking goddess a big warm hug!

**Pit**: Absolutley, Lady Palutena! Who could possibly resist your hugs?

**Palutena**: Vous êtes tout simplement la meilleure chose jamais, fosse! Je t'aime comme une mère!

### **Myotismon**

**Pit**: Is that a vampire? If so, then how is he able to walk in broad day-light?

**Palutena**: Pit, Myotismon may look like a vampire. But he is actually a Digimon.

**Pit**: A Digimon? Is it like a Pokémon?

**?**: Perhaps it would be better if I tell you about Myotismon. After all, I am a Digimon myself.

**Viridi**: Aw, look at the little kitty! It is so adorable!

**?**: Well thank you! Anyways, my name is Gatomon and if it is fine with Lady Palutena, I can take over the guidance and tell Pit about Myotismon.

**Palutena**: Of course you can, Gatomon. I am certain that you have more information about this guy then Google anyways.

**Gatomon**: Thank you, so where to begin? Myotismon is an Ultimate Level Digimon with a really high level of darkness-related abilities at his disposal. He is in fact so strong that he was able to create a portal between the Digital World and the Real World and bring several Digimon into that world with him, so he could find the Eighth Child and kill her... poor Kari. And even there he was strong enough to vaporize the attacks of other Ultimate-level Digimon without even breaking a sweat. If that does not spell "EVIL" to you, then I have no idea what does! If only I was strong enough so I could have defeated him before he entered the Real World... but I was too weak and easily manipulated to do so...

**Pit**: The way you describe Myotismon, makes it sound like you have met in person before. Why is that?

**Gatomon**: That is because I... I... used to work for him.

**Pit**: You used to work for him?

**Gatomon**: Yes. When I was just a Salamon, he conditioned me into a loyal minion by torturing me for even the slightest signs of disloyalty or rebellion. It was not until I found out my connection with Kari Kamiya, that I was able to finally break free of Myotismon's control and defeat him, with the help of the other DigiDestined. But I can still even today feel guilty about the things I did while I was working for him. I really was a monster back then... I really was.

**Pit**: I understand what you mean. I can still feel guilty for attacking Lady Palutena, even if the Chaos Kin had her under mind-control.

**Gatomon**: There are some memories that we just cannot run away from, regardless of how much we would like to.

**Pit**: Exactly. But at least you were able to defeat him, right?

**Gatomon**: Not really... Myotismon still found a way to get back to life. First there was a prophecy that came into fruition through his resurrection into VenomMyotismon. And even if he was defeated again, because the DigiDestined used their Crests to hold the monster at bay so WarGreymon and MetalGarurumon can land the final blow. His data ghost survived and entered the body of a man named "Yukio Oikawa". While he was inside Oikawa's body, he set up a whole arsenal of events that would eventually lead to his rebirth as MaloMyotismon. Thankfully he lost his physical body once more when the formerly Dark Spore children embrace their dreams while dealing with the nations' DigiDestined, Myotismon is finally destroyed by Imperialdramon Fighter Mode. But I still have a feeling that he might still find a way to get back!

**Pit**: But I think you should not worry so much about it. You and your friends have defeated him at least three times before. So what is topping you from defeating him again?

**Gatomon**: You are right Pit. I should not worry so much... By the way, what happened to Viridi and Palutena?

**Pit**: I don't know, ever since you started to tell me about Myotismon, they just disappeared out of nowhere. But I am certain that they will show up sooner or later... after they have watched through all of Digimon Adventure 01 and 02, which is probably exactly what they are doing right now... yeez! Thank you very much for all this information Gatomon, I greatly appreciate it all.

**Gatomon**: Thank you, Pit. But I have to go now, I wish you the best of lucks while fighting him! Goodbye!

**Pit**: I hope we will meet again, Gatomon.

### **Fiolina Germi**

**Viridi**: Seriously, how did this mortal woman get up here?

**Pit**: I think the better question to ask is: "Who is this woman?" Is she from a video-game franchise that is not as mainstream or something?

**Palutena**: That could be true depending on your definition of "Mainstream".

**Pit**: Maybe if we compare her franchise to ours.

**Palutena**: Then I am not sure which is more "Mainstream". However, I just found out who she is.

**Pit**: Alright! The please tell me about her, Lady Palutena.

**Palutena**: Her name is Fiolina Germi or Fio for short. She is the only daughter of a wealthy Italian family. The Germi family was historically a military family, so of course her father wished for the first child to be a strong son. However, following a difficult birth, her mother became unable to bear additional children. This was the first time in Germi history that the family had a female heir. Due to family tradition, she was required to become a soldier, so she was made to join the Government Forces. She studied chiropractic's and acupuncture in university and is thinking of becoming a sports doctor in the future.

**Pit**: I am not sure how she was able to become a soldier with such a high rank. It just seem odd that a woman is allowed such a position. Since the mortal world seems to be so against women getting too much power.

**Viridi**: Oh, just not like Samus Aran...

**Pit**: Alright I am sorry, I guess I have studied way too much human-history. But Lady Palutena, how skilled is she with her weapons?

**Palutena**: Fio is actually really skilled with the special weapons. She already starts every mission equipped with a Heavy Machine Gun, she gets more ammo for weapons and her weapons cause more damage. Other weapons she can use include: flamethrowers, shot-guns, enemy chasers, laser-guns and other things. But that also means that she is not as strong with close-up combat...

**Viridi**: Hey Palutena, she actually is able to kill plenty of soldiers with the knife that she carries around when they get to close to her.

**Palutena**: But it is not exactly as efficient as her using weaponry. After all, she is able to blow up tanks, helicopters, sub-marines and other giant war-machines with just a couple machine-gun bullets. She has also fought against aliens, zombies, mummies, cyborgs, soldiers from the future, giant insects and snails and even mythological things like demons.

**Pit**: Wow, she must have been through a lot. So maybe I am at a disadvantage in this fight, since my weapons are somewhat "outdated" compared to hers. I have a bow and she has all these weapons.

**Viridi**: Oh don't feel bad, Pit. You will probably win, after like 50 tries or so.

### **Scrooge McDuck**

**Pit**: Hey look, it is the world’s richest duck!

**Viridi**: Ah great, this is probably the last person I would expect to meet here. That greedy little birdie! Hey, Pit! If you defeat him, we don't need to buy a new turkey for Thanks-Giving! Turkeys and ducks are pretty much interchangeable anyways!

**Palutena**: Wow, slow it down Viridi! If he gets killed, then a huge part of humanity's childhood dies with him. Pit, do you know anything about Scrooge?

**Pit**: I do know that he is a treasure hunter, the world’s richest duck and one of Disney's most famous icons. As for his combat-abilities... no, I don't Lady Palutena.

**Palutena**: Thought so. Alright, Scrooge's "weapon-of-choice" is his cane. He can use it as a pogo-stick and bounce around on the stage and if he lands on your head it become like a footstool-jump that does damage.

**Viridi**: I think that he needs to stop searching for treasures all the time. With his wealth, he could pretty much buy enough food, clean water and chance to get education to the population of a whole third-world-continent.

**Palutena**: Well that is true; he is really stingy with his money.

**Pit**: Excuse me for interrupting, but is there anything else I need to know?

**Palutena**: Oh sorry Pit, there is. Scrooge can also use his cane as a golf-club and whack away any items that's on the stage at the opponents (or you rather). He can also swim through the air like if it was water and take out a torch out of nowhere.

**Pit**: Okay! But I still find it odd that Scrooge McDuck is here in the first place. There are no treasures around here, unless a battle of Smash Bros counts as a "treasure".

**Palutena**: Well, according to Hewey, Dewey and Louie. Scrooge McDuck convinced this games director to be playable in this game by paying him 2000 dollars. After receiving the money, the director had no choice but to include Scrooge McDuck in the roster.

**Viridi**: But I guess all the battles he has been in were worth the money he paid.

### **Q**

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, could you tell me about this man.

**Palutena**: That is Q, an omnipotent being from...

**?**: Perhaps it would be better if I explain who Q is.

**Pit**: Wait! Who are you?!

**Viridi**: Yeah seriously, you must be some kind of chimera! A really dumb one if you ask me!

**Discord**: Dumb? Looks who is talking. Whatever, I am Discord, the master of chaos and the best friend of My Little Ponies, just like Celestia just said. Q is an omnipotent being that put Captain Picard and his crew on trial because he thinks humanity is a dangerous race and should be destroyed. He can travel through time and space and he is also a pretty talented trumpet player.

**Pit**: Wow, he sounds pretty dangerous. I probably should get the Great Sacred Treasures again.

**Palutena**: I think you are overreacting Pit, Q does not seem that much of a threat. Just try to look for his weakness and you will be fine.

**Discord**: Weak Spot? Hahahaha! Q has no weakness, trust me on this one.

**Palutena**: How do you know that Q does not have any weakness?

**Discord**: Is it not obvious, Celestia? Q and I are one and the same. After the writers of Star Trek became too lazy to write Q properly they banished me into a void of nothing. I was stuck there for almost a decade until I got over-bored and transformed into myself. Then I decided to go and mess up Equestria and now I am here.

**Palutena**: YOU ARE BOTH OF YOU, that doesn't make any sense!

**Discord**: Makes sense, what's the fun in making sense. Ah, Celestia you are so adorable.

**Palutena**: Why do you call me "Celestia"?

**Discord**: Because you lady Palutena, remind me a lot of that beautiful mare.

**Viridi**: Actually, you are starting to remind me of Hades!

**Discord**: You mean Hades from your universe. Well someone has to teach him everything about trolling. I simply am perfection!

**Pit**: Okay that's it I will find a way to defeat both you and Q! I will not let you throw our world into chaos!

**Discord**: First of, you are not even in your world and second of all. I would never dream of taking over your world anyways. Ask John de Lancie!

### **Rorschach**

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, are you there? Hello!

**Viridi**: Hello Pit. I am sorry to tell you, but Palutena is a little busy with "divine duties".

**Pit**: Of course, silly me. How could I forget that?

**Viridi**: Its fine, you were not rude or anything. Either way, I probably tell you about Walter Joseph Kovacs aka Rorschach. He is considered to be by many "The Main Protagonist" of the Watchman franchise as he drives most of the plot forward. In the beginning of the story, he is introduced as the only remaining active masked vigilante not employed by the government. He is a ruthless crime-fighter, his beliefs in moral absolutism — good and evil with no shades of grey — have driven him to seek to punish evil at all costs.

**Pit**: So he is some sort of an Anti-Hero, okay then. But what is up with his mask?

**Viridi**: His mask displays a constantly morphing inkblot based on the ambiguous designs used in Rorschach inkblot tests, with the mask's black and white coloring consistent with Rorschach's sense and view of morality.

**Palutena**: Hello everybody, sorry I am late!

**Pit**: It is fine, your divine duties are very important, so I understand why you chose to do them before telling me about Rorschach.

**Palutena**: "Divine duties"? Well I suppose that arguing with Masahiro Sakurai about buffing me in the next patch can be considered "divine duties". Now, let me tell you about what I know about Rorschach. First of: he comes from the same franchise as Dr. Manhattan.

**Pit**: Thank you, Lady Palutena. Viridi has already told me that he is an Anti-hero that is not employed by the government.

**Palutena**: You are welcome! Now, Rorschach does not possess any "superpowers". But he is able to take normal everyday objects and turn them into weapons. He is also well versed in street combat, gymnastics and boxing. He even tolerated Antarctic temperatures while wearing only a trench coat over street clothes, without complaining or even commenting on the severe cold.

**Pit**: I see, it seems like Rorschach is almost the opposite of Dr. Manhattan... I mean Dr. Manhattan is pretty much a god and Rorschach is just a well-trained human.

**Palutena**: Well, Rorschach is way more liked and well-received by critics and reviewers than Dr. Manhattan. That is probably because he is not a godlike being that can just solve problems without having to struggle.

**Viridi**: Yeah, it is the same reason why Batman is more popular than Superman.

**Palutena**: So Pit, just be careful. Rorschach can become really violent and personal when he gets aggravated.

**Pit**: I understand, wish me luck!

### **Shrek**

**Palutena**: Hello Pit, I see that you have met Shrek.

**Pit**: Yes indeed, he is standing right there.

**Palutena**: He is the face of the movie company DreamWorks-studios and a beloved icon in the modern film-industry. He is also voiced by Mike Myers in case you did not know.

**Viridi**: Could someone please explain to me what this whole "Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life" thing to me? I never understood it.

**Pit**: Neither do I, actually.

**Palutena**: I think that is a little inappropriate for this discussion at hand. Pit, I hope that you have done your homework about ogres because you are going to need it right now. Shrek has the ability to create powerful gases that can cause an explosion around nuclear levels, combine that with his super-human strength and stamina. And you have a pretty formidable opponent.

**Pit**: Attacking by farting... why does that sound familiar?

**Viridi**: His name starts with a "W" and ends with an "ario"!

**Pit**: Of course, how could I forget about Wario! After all, he and I joined Super Smash Bros Brawl around the same time.

**Palutena**: I am afraid to tell you this, but even Wario would have a hard time if they met in a “Body-Fluid-Contest”, seriously what else do you expect me to call it. Because to quote Shrek himself: "If that was me, you would be dead!"

**Pit**: Can I ask you a question, Lady Palutena? If I somehow manage to defeat Shrek, would the entire film-industry burn down?

**Palutena**: Oh, Pit! The film-industry already burned down several years ago, when those Chipmunks became popular icons... again.

### **Catbug**

**Viridi**: Hey, Pit! Are you fighting Catbug?

**Pit**: If this little cat-looking guy that is standing over there, then yes. What is wrong with that?

**Viridi**: Well yeah! He is pretty much in-de-struc-tible. He has the ability to fly, he can carry masses that are up to ten times heavier than he is and he can travel between dimensions. Seriously he lives in two different dimensions.

**Pit**: Well, I have fought against Kirby, Pikachu and Olimar. So I suppose I have a slight chance of winning.

**Palutena**: Actually, let me tell you a little story. Legends have told that one day, long ago. Chuck Norris went into a Build-a-Bear-factory and thus Catbug was born.

**Pit**: ... Chuck... Norris... Chuck Norris created this guy?!

**Palutena**: No, not really. But he is still a force to be reckoned with. So watch out for his sugar peas, it is a meteor smash in this game.

**Pit**: Well that's a relief; you got me a little bit scared there. Although, I am certain that I will probably be able to stand toe-to-toe with Catbug. Unless Lady Palutena is right and he is a creation of Chuck Norris.

**Palutena**: You really thought the head-cannon story that I told you was true, right? Anyways, he does have some "badass animal-instincts" where he killed Jelly Kid for no real reason and then showed no remorse. Now for some trivial information that has nothing to do with your possible upcoming fight. Catbug is ten years old, which is around two years older than his voice actor.

**Pit**: Actually, that was some pretty interesting trivia. Thank you very much to both of you, wish me luck!

**Viridi**: Whatever Pit...

### **Mai Minakami**

**Pit**: What is this schoolgirl doing here?

**Palutena**: That is no ordinary school-girl. That is Mai Minakami, she is a quiet and intelligent student of Tokisadame High School. She is also really multitalented, she excels at using projectiles, fishing, woodcarving, arm wrestling and of course... pranking.

**Pit**: Pranking? So she is like...

**Palutena**: No she is not; do not even try to compare her to anybody that you are familiar with. Her love for playing pranks are sometimes even beyond all-mighty and gorgeous goddesses like myself.

**Pit**: Wow! That means she could...

**Palutena**: Yes Pit, she can do that and much more. But she mostly focuses her pranks on her best friend Yuuko Aioi, just to annoy her. Examples of these include deliberately putting her glasses on top of a card tower that Yuuko and Mio made, staring at her friends for a very long time during a game of "Red light, green light", and even tricking Yukko into thinking she loves her more than a friend, just to embarrass her and see her reaction. She will even play pranks on her dogs. For example by shooting a Frisbee she threw at them just before they catch it and will go as far as to play pranks on herself when she is bored and no one is around.

**Viridi**: You got to be kidding, no mere mortal can possible that be that skilled at trolling others!

**Palutena**: Actually Viridi, there are some people out there who claim that Mai has managed to reach "Troll-Nirvana" because of her constant pranking.

**Pit**: "Troll-Nirvana"? Then I suppose that... unless that doesn't work either.

**Palutena**: Yeah that obviously will not work on her. Actually there is only one person that could even come close to match Main's level of trolling.

**Viridi**: And who is that? Hades?

**Palutena**: No, but Yoshino Naganohara who is the older sister of one of Mai's best friends. Although Pit, I would recommend you to use your... what was it called? Oh that's right… that will not work either!!

**Pit**: So, does that mean that I am destined to lose against this school-girl?

**Palutena**: Yes!

### **Spider-Man**

**Pit**: Hey look everybody, it is Spider-Man!

**Viridi**: AAWW, he is just as adorable as in the comics! I want to hug him so badly!

**Palutena**: HEY! Save some for me!

**Viridi**: Either way, he will get one heck of a story to write. Think about it: "Daily Bugle news: Spider-Man gets hugged by two goddesses! Spidey is having trouble breathing but is otherwise alright!"

**Pit**: Yeah, that would be a nice story indeed!

**?**: NO IT WOULD NOT! THAT WALL-CRAWLING MENACE NEEDS TO GO WAY AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE!

**Palutena**: Excuse me mister, but who are you?

**J. Jonah Jameson**: I am John Jonah Jameson, the publisher of the Daily Bugle. Although the story idea you came up with would still be a good one, if I was hugged instead of Spider-Man.

**Viridi**: Then I rather hug the Eggplant Wizard, if given the choice.

**J. Jonah Jameson**: Watch your mouth, girl! As the major of New York City, I can sue you for life!

**Viridi**: Yeah and I am a goddess, so I can turn you into a platypus at any moment!

**Pit**: Can we please get back on track and talk about the Spider-Man that is standing over there?

**J. Jonah Jameson**: I agree... If only Parker could do this instead. But oh well, if your job is to kick Spider-Man's sorry butt, then I am happy to help! So... hold on... is that... Hahahahahahahahaha!

**Pit**: Mr. Jameson, are you alright?

**J. Jonah Jameson**: Hahahahahahaha! You're serious? Are you going to fight THIS Spider-Man?

**Pit**: Uhm, yeah.

**J. Jonah Jameson**: Alright, let me tell you something. The only thing you need to know about "Ultimate" Spider-Man is how much of an Ultimate woos he is!

**Pit**: Okay and why Ultimate Spider-Man is such an ultimate woos?

**J. Jonah Jameson**: It is not just Ultimate Spider-Man, it is actually his entire cartoon! It talks down to the audience especially the older members of the audience. The animation was unimpressive and Spider-Man’s ability to break the fourth wall more of a familiar trait of Deadpool than Spider-Man. In other words, the show is: “A missed opportunity for something that truly hits home with Spider-Man fans of all ages”.

**Palutena**: But what about Ultimate Spider-Man himself?

**J. Jonah Jameson**: Well, first of he is able to… Hello? Oh right, I am coming! Sorry, but I have to go on an important meeting. So I have to leave you with the little information that I provided you, either way good bye!

**Viridi**: Well I am sure that Ultimate Spider-Man can still shoot web out of his hands and have super-human reflexes.

**Palutena**: Yeah I think you are right, Viridi. Well good luck Pit!

### **Cheese Sandwich**

**Palutena**: Pit, have you ever heard of Weird Al Yankovic?

**Pit**: Let's see... Weird Al Yankovic? Do you mean that musician that makes all these music parodies, like "Eat It" and "I'm Fat"?

**Palutena**: Exactly and he also made several polka-songs where he mixes together several songs that was released in a single year.

**Viridi**: The reason why Palutena brings up Weird Al is because that pony over there is voiced by Weird Al. Just wanted to say that so we could get back to the main topic.

**Pit**: Is that true! Oh man, did Hasbro really get Weird Al to voice one of their characters?

**Palutena**: Well, since they already got John De Lancie to voice Discord and Lena Hall to voice a random character in Season 5. Getting Weird Al was not that much of a hassle, really? Alright Pit, now I need you to listen carefully.

**Pit**: My attention is on you, Lady Palutena!

**Palutena**: Excellent! Your opponent is named "Cheese Sandwich". He is a party-pony that travelled all across Equestria and creates parties. One day he arrived in Ponyville just when Pinkie Pie was preparing for Rainbow Dash's "Birthaversary". Her birthday and the anniversary of her moving to Ponyville happened on the same day, so that is why it is called a "Birthaversary". However, Cheese got so much attention from the citizens in Ponyville that they completely forgot about Pinkie Pie. Which led her to believe that Cheese Sandwich was going to replace her as Ponyville's local party-pony.

**Viridi**: So Pinkie Pie challenged Cheese to a "Goof-off!" where the winner would get to host Rainbow Dash's party. But she lost and yet still managed to win!

**Pit**: What do you mean, Viridi? How could Pinkie lose yet win at the same time?

**Palutena**: What Viridi meant to say is that: When Pinkie Pie realized that she had become so obsessed with the party for her own needs that Rainbow Dash, who the party was meant for, ended up having a bad time. So she forfeited the "Goof-off" and was ready to move away. But it then turned out that all Cheese Sandwich really wanted was to show Pinkie how much of a positive influence she had been when he was just a colt.

**Pit**: But if Cheese only wanted to show Pinkie Pie how great of a party-pony he had become. Then why did he not just tell Pinkie that a "Goof-off" was not needed?

**Palutena**: I do not know, maybe his own pride blinded him when he was directly challenged. Just like how Pinkie's pride blinded her when she challenged him.

**Viridi**: In other words: Pinkie Pie lost the "Goof-off", but won because she still got to host Rainbow Dash's "Birthaversary". Though I would have preferred if she did not get away in the end. After all; what is her Party-Cannon compared to Cheese's Party-Howitzer?

**Pit**: Either way, I guess I should just get out there and win this fight!

**Palutena**: Good! But make sure that you use your Guardian Orbitars, in this fight! You will really need them in this fight!

**Pit**: Of course.... just... one... problem.... I forget to bring them with me...

**Viridi**: OH, Pit... You are hopeless!

### **Achmed Frollo**

**Pit**: Hey look everybody, it's Frollo!

**Palutena**: Indeed it is, but why is he wearing a keffiyeh? Has he become a Muslim?

**Pit**: It would be odd for someone who is as obsessed in one faith, to just change sides like this. There must be an explanation.

**?**: (In Arabian) Yes, there is an explanation for this... hold on! Why does it matter that my bro is wearing proper clothing?

**Pit**: Oh I am sorry, that was not my or Lady Palutena's intention. We just wondered...

**Viridi**: Wait a minute! How are we able to understand what you are saying? You are speaking Arabian!

**Yusuf Gaston**: Nobody speaks Arabian and understands English like Yusuf!

**Palutena**: Hey, you look like just like Gaston! Are you his cousin or something?

**Yusuf Gaston**: Precisely! The French Gaston is my cousin, just like how my bro Achmed Frollo over there is Claude Frollo's Arabian cousin!

**Pit**: So, Frollo and Gaston have Arabian cousins now? Then I suppose that Achmed Frollo has the same abilities as Claude Frollo, right?

**Yusuf Gaston**: Well just like the rest of the Frollo Family, Achmed can teleport and, presumably, use powerful pyro kinesis. Instead of a claymore, he wields a scimitar for head-on combat. He also has access to nukes, hijacked planes, and other weapons of mass destruction.

**Palutena**: THIS GUY HAS ACCESS TO NUCLEAR WEAPONS!?

**Yusuf Gaston**: Of course! What else are we supposed to use to blow up those foolish Americans! But not before he, I, Gwonam and Jafar has played some Mario Kart 64, where I always win! Because nobody plays Mario Kart like Yusuf!

**Pit**: It seems like he does not have his priorities fully in check.

**Yusuf Gaston**: His priorities are ALWAYS in the right! He is after all my bro and the criminal mastermind of the Arabian Bros.! And to top it off, here he will actually do the fighting himself and not force me and Jafar to do all the work! But that does not mean that I will not show up and help him when he needs it, after all... what are bros for, right?

**Viridi**: Pit... just defeat this weirdo! So that we don't have to bother with him again, please!

### **George of the Jungle**

**Viridi**: Excuse me, but what is Tarzan doing here?

**Palutena**: Actually, that is not Tarzan. That is George of the Jungle!

**Pit**: George of the Jungle? As in the main protagonist of that old Disney movie that is based on an old cartoon, that stars all these all-stars actors, including Brendan Fraser?

**Palutena**: That's right! You know what, let's sing his theme song together! Just for fun, of course!

**Viridi**: Sure why not...

**Palutena**: George, George, George of the Jungle! Strong as he can be!

**Pit**: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Palutena**: Watch out for that tree!

**Viridi**: George, George, George of the Jungle! Lives a life that's free!

**Pit**: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Viridi**: Ah, watch out for that tree!

**Palutena**: Alright, funs over! Let me now tell you everything you need to know about George!

**Pit**: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Already? Alright fine, whatever you say Lady Palutena.

**Palutena**: George can summon various animals that can help him during the fight. Including some gorillas that can save him from falling of the stage and an elephant that can shoot coconuts towards the stage. He can almost control the entire stage while he has his animal friends helping him during the fight.

**Pit**: Okay, I can also assume that he will also swing on vines during the fight. In one form or another...

**Viridi**: Of course he can swing on his vines, silly boy. He also has super-human strength in that he can lift up a full-grown lion and swing it around on one arm. This is probably not that effective towards you per say, but I am certain that Palutena would get quite wet by seeing that.

**Palutena**: WHAT!?

**Viridi**: Oh come one, I am fully aware of what type of men you like! You like men that are strong, flexible, have a strong sense of justice, but are also humorous and a little ditsy. Do not try to hide it from me, Lady Palutena!

**Palutena**: Sometimes I wish that you were still in Skyworld along with Dark Pit.

**Pit**: Ladies, Ladies, there is no need to start bickering! Instead, how about you two wish me good luck when I am going to fight George of the Jungle.

**Palutena**: Right, good luck! And Pit before you go, remember to...

**Pit**: Watch out for that tree, got it!

### **Yuuko Aioi**

**Pit**: ......wow.

**Palutena**: Pit, are you alright?

**Pit**: Yes, lady Palutena. Everything is fine with me...

**Palutena**: Hello! Pit, are you there?

**Pit**: ...aw… she is beau...

**Palutena**: Skyworld to Pit! Skyworld to Pit!

**Viridi**: Hey Palutena, let me handle this... MASAHIRO SAKURAI ANNOUNCES UPRISING SEQUEL!!

**Pit**: What! Where? Oh hello lady Palutena and Viridi...

**Palutena**: Pit, what was going on?

**Pit**: I well, you see that girl over there...

**Viridi**: Wait; now I know what's going on! You fell in love with Yuuko Aioi, didn't you?

**Pit**: Alright I confess, that schoolgirl over there is beautiful. So her name is Yuuko Aioi?

**Palutena**: Yes, she is a close friend of Mai Minakami and Mio Naganohara. She loves to tell jokes and make people laugh, but it is rare that she succeeds. She tends to be clumsy and takes a simple-minded approach to life. She is also not academically inclined, not diligent with her homework and tends to fail tests.

**Viridi**: But I have heard that she is really good at writing poetry. But I am not sure if it accurate or not.

**Pit**: Okay, I suppose that she is also pretty energetic on the battle-field as well?

**Viridi**: Probably. But I feel that if you try to fight her you will just fall in love with her again. I can see it now: "Kid Nichijou Icarus: Uprising My Ordinary Life". A romance between little Pit and Yuuko Aioi! Maybe that is what Sakurai want to make instead of DLC for Smash?

**Palutena**: That is not a bad idea! I will send an email to Masahiro Sakurai right away!

**Pit**: Oh, what have I gotten myself into?

### **Sailor Mercury**

**Viridi**: Oh great, another Japanese school-girl. Are there not enough of those in the game?

**Pit**: Apparently not, but maybe she is different from the others we have encountered so far. Right, Lady Palutena?

**Palutena**: Well yes, this school-girl has access to some strong magical power of the Water Element.

**Viridi**: Seriously? How many more of these anime clichés do we need?

**Pit**: I have heard that there are people who bash several characters in Smash Wii U/3DS, including me, Palutena and Pittoo, for being "anime characters". Yeez, they certainly are a bunch of shallow fellows. But can we get back on topic, please?

**Palutena**: Yes absolutely! Your opponent is Ami Mizuno aka Sailor Mercury. She is one of the five original Inner Sailor Senshi of the Solar System, and was the third Sailor Senshi introduced in the manga. Which is pretty good in case you want to know...

**Pit**: You mentioned something about her having water-based powers, could you be more specific please?

**Palutena**: Sailor Mercury does not only have water-based powers, but also powers based on ice, intelligence and computers. The most common attacks that she can use is the "Bubble Spray" where she shoots out... well... a spray of bubbles that can damage the opponents and the "Mercury Aqua Mist" which is a very strong steam/fog/mist-related attack. So yeah, Pit be careful to not get your wings wet.

**Viridi**: I actually just read in this manga issue right here that Sailor Mercury not only the first member of the Sailor Team to be discovered by Usagi Tsukino. But also the third to be awakened by the Moon Cats and serves as the "brains" of the main group.

**Palutena**: Yes, that is correct and she also has a mini-computer that she can use to quickly analyze an opponent in battle. So while we are helping you analyze her, she is probably analyzing you right now.

**Pit**: Hehehe, well. I guess that is fair, since she has probably not fought an angel before. Is there anything else I need to know before jumping into battle?

**Viridi**: Yes there is. Most of Sailor Mercury's powers are strategic rather than offensive and she possesses various pieces of computerized equipment to help her study the enemy. She also has an IQ of 300.

**Pit**: 300!? That is even higher then Stephen Hawking and he got a score between 200 and 250!

**Viridi**: Yeah, but Stephen is no sailor!

**Palutena**: Wait a minute! That is my manga! How did you get it?

**Dark Pit**: Because I brought it to her!

**Palutena**: Dark Pit, what are you doing here?

**Dark Pit**: Just wanted to stop by and see you give Pit advice on how to lose as quickly as possible! Then while I was flying here, I thought it would be a good idea to take your entire Sailor Moon manga collection and give it to Lady Viridi. After all, I am a commanding officer in her army!

**Viridi**: Oh yes, you are! So go ahead and fight Pit, if that is what your heart desire!

**Dark Pit**: With pleasure!

**Pit**: But hey... I am just about to fight Sailor Mercury! Fighting you as well will give me way too much trouble!

**Viridi**: Then make it DOUBLE!

### **Peashooter**

**Pit**: Let me guess, this is a Pokémon?

**Viridi**: Actually, it is not. That is a Peashooter a basic unit of the "Garden Army". It can shoot peas out of its snout and run almost as fast as you!

**Pit**: Is this plant a... soldier?

**Viridi**: Hey! What did you except it to be? A decoration for your garden! Ha! Not when there are zombies running around with a desire to eat brains!

**Pit**: Plants that fight against zombies...

**Palutena**: Gr!

**Pit**: Everything okay, Lady Palutena?

**Palutena**: Nothing, just that it reminds of the day I was cooking and that enormous vegetable-monster tried to destroy Skyworld.

**Viridi**: Oh, now I remember... That was one of the most hilarious things to ever happen to you! You should have seen the look on your face that moment when the carrot ran away... Priceless Hahaha!

**Palutena**: Could we get back on subject, please!

**Pit**: Of course, Lady Palutena!

**Palutena**: Thank you, Pit! The Peashooter can also change the peas it is going to fire to get some extra attributes like poison, fire, ice and so on. But it can also bury itself into the ground to become like a machine-gun that can fire pretty much non-stop.

**Viridi**: And it needs to, in order to stop those zombies...

**Pit**: I see. I am pretty sure that it has pretty light weight, so it probably will not be able to come back after a hard hit. Alright, I am ready... but now I am also hungry...

**Viridi**: Really Pit, how can you get hungry now?

**Pit**: I don't know, I am just hungry for a salad right now!

### **Jar Jar Binks**

**Viridi**: Okay, I have to ask. What happened that day ARC thought making something like this playable would be a good idea?

**Pit**: I do not see what's so bad about this duck-looking person that's standing over there. He must have some hidden potential or else, why would he be here in the first place?

**Viridi**: That "hidden" potential is probably to be stupid or the games comic-relief!

**Pit**: But who is he?

**Viridi**: Oh there we have it!

**Pit**: Have what?

**Viridi**: All the information that you need about him, of course silly. His name is Jar Jar Binks and the name of his species is a Gungan. He does not exactly have a lot of fighting potential, but maybe that is the "hidden potential" that you just talked about.

**Pit**: I do not see any problem with that... After all Captain Falcon, Villager and Wii Fit Trainer just to name a few. Do not have any fighting potential either, but yet they have proven to be pretty formidable opponents.

**Viridi**: That is probably because you got nerfed pretty hard in the latest patch, right Pit?!

**Pit**: WHAT, THAT IS NOT TRUE AT ALL!

**Palutena**: Both of you… please calm down! And Viridi, please give me back my Samsung Galaxy s5! Now, where were we? Oh yes, Jar Jar Binks might not be the most fearsome opponent on the battle-field. He is actually pretty comical and his moves do not really look so frightening. Some of them can even hinder him a little.

**Viridi**: Like I said, a comic-relief!

**Palutena**: He actually did work for the senator "Boss Rugor Nass" in his early career. But due to Jar Jar's clumsy nature, he accidentally broke the gasser oven when he was working in the kitchen during Boss Nass' lavish party in his mansion. This caused the senator to banish Jar Jar from Otoh Gunga. However, he later helped Qui Gon-Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi in the quest and later managed ironically due to his clumsy nature, to help the Gungan to win an epic battle. This allowed him to redeem himself and later become the first Gungan to represent his people in the Galactic Senate.

**Viridi**: Hey, Palutena... I just noticed that Jar Jar's "life-story" is pretty similar to a certain angel-friend of ours...

**Palutena**: What do you mean Viridi... Oh... That's right... And they are probably both going to square of fair and square in just a moment.

**Pit**: Excuse me ladies... but are you talking about me?

**Viridi**: What, who did you think we were talking about? Masahiro Sakurai?

**Palutena**: But really, Pit. I am so proud of you and how far you have gotten since the original Kid Icarus was released all those many years ago. So good luck in the battle, we are counting on you.

**Pit**: I am not going to disappoint you, Lady Palutena and not you either Viridi.

### **Emmet Briskowski**

**Pit**: Okay, I know that LEGO's are popular, but...

**Palutena**: But what?

**Pit**: But I... would have ever imagined that I would actually meet a living LEGO-person.

**Palutena**: Actually that is no ordinary "LEGO-person". That is Emmet Brickowski; he is just your ordinary constructor worker in Bricksburg. He was sadly unnoticed for almost all his life. Until ended up in an epic journey along with Wyldstyle, Batman (The LEGO version that is), Benny and Princess Uni-Kitty among others to save the world from Lord Business.

**Pit**: So it is another tale of "the average guy who becomes a hero"?

**Palutena**: Pretty much, but just because I story archetype is a little overused, doesn't mean it is bad. The reason he became a hero was because the Master Builder's mistook him for "The Special". He said that he was not that special because he literally builds everything by the book which made everyone accuse him for being boring and uncreative.

**Viridi**: If I were him, I would probably open up and try some new ideas every once in a while. It does not hurt to be a little creative...

**Palutena**: Well, he did invent the double-decker couch and that is a pretty interesting invention. I would really like IKEA to start making those in the future. Trust me, I would take TWO!

**Pit**: I suppose that his moveset would revolve around building thing, right?

**Viridi**: He is able to make brick-walls fall from different angles and scream really loud upon getting hurt, which in turn will hurt others. So I would recommend you to be on your guard when you attack him.

**Pit**: Okay, I think my Guardian Orbitars would do the trick!

**Viridi**: you never get tired of those do you?

**Pit**: Why not, they are way cooler than that mirror shield I used to have!

### **Wallow**

**Pit**: Hello Lady Palutena, would you please tell me about Wallow.

**"Palutena with a slightly deeper pitch"**: Sure, but promise me that you do not do anything rude or harmful. Because Wallow is one of my best friends.

**Pit**: Do not worry, Lady Palutena. I will make sure that both of us can walk away from this fight without any severe injuries.

**"Palutena with a slightly deeper pitch"**: Alright, now. Wallow is just like me one of the members the Bravest Warriors. We travel around the universe and help people solve problems, big and small. He is physically the strongest of the group, but he is also a really skilled doctor and technician. He is one of my best friends and he is really friendly both to all of his animal-friends and the other members of Bravest Warriors.

**Pit**: Seems like the "Bravest Warriors" are... hold on. Lady Palutena, why is your voice so let's say... manly.

**Palutena**: Wow, it took you this far to notice that you were not talking to me. Looks like your idea actually worked. Congratulations Danny.

**Danny**: You are welcome, Lady Palutena. But actually, this idea was originally Catbug's so you better give him credit for this.

**Viridi**: Do not worry, I just sent him a letter telling him about this.

**Pit**: Hold on, this whole thing was a set-up? But I still appreciate all the information that you gave me. But does he have some tricks up his sleeve.

**Danny**: Well, no really. I do not want to reveal his secret and risk break our friendship. But what I can tell you is that Catbug is one of those animal-friends that Wallow has and he treats them like equals. So I guess am out of here, so have a nice day everybody.

**Palutena**: But Danny, don't you think it would be a good idea to tell Pit about Wallow's Blue Falcon, his Glove portal or his natural driving skills.

**Danny**: Nah, like I said, I do not want to ruin our friendship. See ya!

**Pit**: BUT I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT ALL THESE... Okay, I guess I have to use my Guardian Orbitars.

### **Wander**

**Pit**: Okay, so what do I need to know about this guy?

**Viridi**: That is Wander, he is a space traveller who well... travels around space and helps people solving problems.

**Pit**: Thank you very much Viridi, anything else I need to know about Wander?

**?**: Alright, this is really great! Finally I can have a vacation away from my army and away from that blasted Wander. I calculated so that he will be absolutely unable to find me here! This is just perfect.

**Pit**: Excuse, but who are you?

**Lord Hater**: Sigh... And here I thought I would get a vacation all by myself. Whatever, who are you?

**Palutena**: I am Palutena, the goddess of light. This is Viridi, the goddess of nature and this is Pit.

**Lord Hater**: Alright, I am Lord Hater. So since you are here, tell us where we are and what you are doing here!

**Palutena**: Wow, calm down there! The three of us are here to analyze everyone that is playable in this game and we were just about to analyse Wander before you two showed up.

**Lord Hater**: That does not sound that bad... Wait did she just say "Wander"? As in the Wander I know?

**Palutena**: Well he is standing over there.

**Lord Hater**: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, WWWWHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! WHY WON'T HE LEAVE ME ALONE??!! I THOUGHT I FOUND THE MOST REMOTE PART OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND YET HE STILL MANAGES TO FIND ME! WHY? WHY? WWWWWHHHHYYYYYYY??!! What a minute... are you going to fight him?

**Pit**: I... guess so?

**Lord Hater**: Could I ask you for a favour?

**Pit**: Of course, what is it?

**Lord Hater**: Could you please destroy that little abomination once an for all. I have tried countless times to destroy him, but I fail over and over and over. So can I trust you to defeat him?

**Palutena**: I think Lord Hater (seriously that is a funny name) sounds like he needs our help. So I say go ahead Pit. But is there anything else Pit needs to know about Wander?

**Lord Hater**: I can describe him to you using a couple of words. Wander is: Annoying, Overly-Friendly, Annoying, Always ruins my fun, Fast, Banjo-Obsessed, Annoying, Bubble-Blowing, Annoying, Easy-going, Annoying and completely fanatic to help others!

**Viridi**: You said "annoying" like five times.

**Lord Hater**: Yes! He is THAT annoying! Please…

**Pit**: Don’t worry, Lord Hater I will get out there and see what I can do.

**Lord Hater**: Thank you very much.

### **Tintin**

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, can you please tell me about this man over there?

**Palutena**: That is Tintin. A reporter and adventurer who travels around the world with his dog Snowy. Tintin is a young man between the ages of 14 and 19, kind of like you. He has a sharp intellect, can defend himself, and is honest, decent, compassionate, and kind. Through his investigative reporting, quick-thinking, and all-around good nature, Tintin is always able to solve the mystery and complete the adventure.

**Pit**: I see. Does he have any "special abilities"?

**Palutena**: Well, if we go by Hergé's (The creator of Tintin), then Tintin's abilities can be summarized like this: "a hero without fear or reproach". He is a quick thinker and an effective diplomat. He is simply an all-rounder, good at almost everything, which is what Hergé himself would have liked to be.

**Viridi**: Tintin is able to drive and fix any mechanical vehicle that he comes across, including: cars, motorcycles, airplanes and tanks. Given the opportunity, Tintin is at ease driving any automobile, has driven a moon tank, and is comfortable with every aspect of aviation.

**Pit**: So he is really skilled at engineering, interesting. But does he have any skills in combat?

**Palutena**: He does pack a solid punch to a villain's jaw when necessary, demonstrates impressive swimming skills, and is a crack shot. He is also an excellent athlete, in outstanding condition, able to walk, run, and swim long distances.

**Pit**: That is pretty impressive for a mortal... Wait a minute!

**Palutena**: Pardon?

**Pit**: A just realized that I have seen this guy before!

**Viridi**: And how have you two been able to meet before?

**Pit**: I did not meet Tintin directly, but I remember that I saw his movie from 2011.

**Viridi**: Oh, that movie. Well I suppose that it was recent enough to possibly get a sequel.

**Palutena**: Well, I am not that the sequel will happen anytime soon. Although if I were you Pit, I would think outside the box when fighting Tintin in this game.

**Pit**: But, why should I do that?

**Palutena**: Probably because of Tintin's Up B, when he summons a flying submarine and drives upwards with it.

**Pit**: A flying what-now!?

**Viridi**: After everything that we have reviewed so far, you now start to question the logic of this game?

### **Rainbow Dash**

**Pit**: That girl that is standing over there is Rainbow Dash, right?

**?**: Yes, it is. Why were you so uncertain?

**Pit**: I always thought that Rainbow Dash was a pony and not a human.

**?**: Well, there are several incarnations of Rainbow Dash. The one you are referring to is from Equestria, but this one is from a world that is similar to Equestria yet more like Earth in that it is inhabited by humans.

**Viridi**: You mean that Hasbro wanted Meghan McCarthy to create just so they could sell a new toy-line and compete with Monster High? Yeah, thought so!

**?**: Oh wait, where are my manners? My name is Sunset Shimmer, it is nice to meet the three of you.

**Pit**: My name is Pit and it is nice to meet you as well.

**Sunset Shimmer**: I suppose that I should tell you about Rainbow Dash EQG, now that I got through all the trouble to get here.

**Pit**: Yeah, sure. I think that Rainbow Dash... EQG? Is she a fast opponent, like her Equestrian counterpart?

**Sunset Shimmer**: Yes, Rainbow Dash is a student at Canterlot High. She is fast and very athletic. I mean, she did not become the captain of every sports team at Canterlot High for nothing. She is also the element of Loyalty and one of the best friends that anybody could ever ask for.

**Pit**: How can she be the captain of every sports team?

**Sunset Shimmer**: Beats me.. Either way, she is also an amazing guitar player and overall just awesome. Or at least according to herself.

**Palutena**: Sorry I am late everybody, have I missed anything?

**Pit**: No problem Lady Palutena. Miss Sunset Shimmer has told me plenty about Rainbow Dash... EQG? But do you have anything to add and where were you?

**Palutena**: Not really, I just came back from a session where I teased some males with my booty. Yes I just had to do it, deal with it. Now there is one thing that I do know about this incarnation of Rainbow Dash and that is not exactly specifically about Rainbow Dash. But it is about her motivations and the struggles that she and the students at Canterlot High had to go through.

**Pit**: Alright, please tell me.

**Palutena**: Long ago, Canterlot High was "attacked" by a force that sabotaged the friendship spirit and forced all the students to stick towards their own kind. Rockers by their own, Eco-Kids by their own and so forth. This force also (or at least it is implied) that it also ruined the friendship of the "Human Main 5" slightly afterwards. She pretty much became the ruler of the entire school and everything that she asked for.

**Viridi**: Uh! What kind of "force" would do something that petty? It was not like she would take over the world by destroying the "friendship spirit" of a pathetic high school.

**Sunset Shimmer**: ...Well you see, that force that destroyed the friendship spirit at Canterlot High... was... was me.

**Pit**: But why would you do something like that?

**Sunset Shimmer**: Because I did not really knew anything about friendship back then.

**Viridi**: Yeah, it is that clichéd story that a former villain has to go through. But that's fine, just let the heroes monologue for three minutes straight, then "Taste the Rainbow Motherlucker!!" Then bam, villain is automatically reformed!

**Palutena**: Though I have to ask you this, Sunset Shimmer? Do you think that your current friends, including Rainbow Dash over there. Treat you as a proper friend, or are they just exploiting you like their Equestrian Couterparts are doing with Discord?

**Sunset Shimmer**: Maybe. They did not exactly allow me to take part of any of their activities and they constantly reminded me of my failures, so I am not sure if they care about me as a friend.

**Pit**: I think they do care about you, they just don't know how to show it. But either way I guess I should get my Gaurdian Orbitars and fight some Rainbow, wish me luck!

**Sunset Shimmer**: "Fight some Rainbow", he really is a funny guy... And pretty cute.

**Palutena**: I agree! Good luck Pit!

### **Mikasa Ackerman**

**Palutena**: Okay, I just want to tell you that you are lucky that you are not a titan.

**Pit**: Why should I be glad about not being a titan? Does this have to do with that woman over there?

**Palutena**: Because Mikasa Ackerman slays titans on a daily basis!

**Pit**: Okay, now it all makes much more sense. But why does she kill them?

**Palutena**: Mikasa Ackerman is a soldier of the Survey Corps. They are a group of humans who protect their city from the titans that come in and try to eat the humans. She is actually really physically strong and with her access to her military gear. She can move around on the battlefield as if she had wings, except better actually.

**Pit**: How can she move better in the air then me?

**Palutena**: Well she has access to some high-tech grappling hooks that she uses to get closer to the titans neck and then kill them by slicing them at the back of their neck.

**Viridi**: But I am not sure if she is used to fight opponents that are around her own size. Let along the people that are much smaller than her!

**Pit**: She is killing these titans to protect the ones that she loves. That sounds very noble and brave of her!

**Palutena**: Well she is not doing it alone; she does get help from her fellow soldiers. However, legends have told that Mikasa has slain more titans than anybody else in history.

**Pit**: I really hope that she does not have to lose anymore relatives on the battle field. But how is she able move around so freely in the air with that equipment she carries around her.

**Viridi**: Well, you also have a lot of weapons that you carry with you all the time.

**Pit**: So we are back to this argument again? Oh well, I will try my best to fight her.

### **Lord Voldemort**

**Viridi**: Pit, I hope that you are the most prepared right now! Because you are probably about to face the most evil character around here!

**Pit**: Yeah, I knew that this guy was evil somehow. But who is he?

**Palutena**: He is Tom Marvolo Riddle aka Lord Voldemort. He was the son of wealthy Muggle Tom Riddle Senior and witch Merope Gaunt; he was orphaned and raised in a Muggle orphanage, which remained his permanent residence through his 1938-1945 attendance at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

**Viridi**: He was a member of Slytherin house. His accomplishments included the opening of Salazar Slytherin's Chamber of Secrets and the use of its monster to attack Muggle-born students; several months' service as a purchasing agent for the Dark artefacts shop Borgin and Burkes; and the attainment of immortality between the years of 1944 and 1998, a process begun upon the creation of his first Horcrux at the age of 16.

**Pit**: Well now that he has accomplished this much, he must be a very, very powerful wizard by now.

**Palutena**: He is considered to be the most powerful dark wizard of all time. I believe that he is also strong enough and evil enough to even make Ganondorf fear him. After all, he was the one who killed Harry Potter's parents and tried to kill Harry Potter himself. But he ultimately failed because his killing curse rebounded and killed him instead and thus leaving him as a mere spirit for a long time.

**Pit**: And now he has found a way to get a physical form, with a desire to kill Harry Potter once again?

**Palutena**: Exactly! So please, put everything you got while fighting him and make sure that he does not use the Cruciatus Curse. Because then you will be inflected with horrible pain and suffering for a long time to come.

**Pit**: Thank you for that piece of information, Lady Palutena! Alright, I will fight Lord Voldemort and... hope that I will win... somehow.

### **The Flat Man**

**Pit**: Alright Lady Palutena, I feel all fired up today, like I am ready for any opponent! So could you please tell me who this guy is?

**Palutena**: Oh, you mean that average man over there? Well, he...

**Pit**: Everything okay, Lady Palutena?

**Palutena**: Well Pit, you see... this guy... does not have a name.

**Pit**: But he does not have a name?

**Viridi**: Come now on, Palutena! Mr. Game & Watch did not have an "name" before he became playable in Super Smash Bros Melee.

**Palutena**: That's true... Anyways, "The Flat Man" as he is called. Yes, I just checked out the information about this guy. Just like Mr. Game & Watch, The Flat Man comes from a world where everything is flat, or to be more specific, where everything is made of paper.

**Viridi**: He is in general an "average joe" that does his job, until he accidentally cut a television-cable with a scissor and got electrocuted when he tried to fix his mistake. Since them he became able to enter the "TV-world" by jumping into a pool of water.

**Pit**: Okay, so because he electrocuted he can travel between two different worlds? Something is also telling that he is able to electrocute others as well.

**Palutena**: Actually he can! If he touches anybody else, he will transfer the electricity to that other person so that they will also become able to enter the "TV-world". This also happened to his cat, his fish and a police-dog. Not only that; he can also grab you to make you take damage over time. You should also worry about when he takes out a TV-remote, if he points it at you and uses it. Except the unexpected, but still expect unexpected.

**Pit**: Well, I guess it is probably best if I will try to...

**Viridi**: Also, watch out when he uses the television-cable to remove you from the battle for a while. So, although something tells me that you would like it in there.

**Pit**: Okay, I will try my most recent battle maneuverer that I have practiced all week. Maybe that will work.

**Palutena**: Good luck, Pit!

### **Toph Beifong**

**Viridi**: So... now you are fighting the Blind Bandit herself?

**Palutena**: That seems to be the case.

**Pit**: Are you talking about the girl over there?

**Viridi**: Yes, she is Toph Beifong. The strongest Earth Bender is the world, well at least according to herself.

**Pit**: Earth Bender?

**Palutena**: That means that she has the ability to control the earth element in various ways, like creating shields, create sandstorms, throw rock projectiles at the opponents and so on.

**Pit**: Does that mean that she is not good at handle attacks from the air?

**Palutena**: That could be true, but I would recommend you to still be careful and not underestimate her knowledge in aerial combat.

**Viridi**: Exactly, even if she is blind. She can probably still launch a huge rock at you and defeat you in one hit! And we all know that rock is super effective against flying types!

**Palutena**: Yes, she can so please watch yourself, Pit. She has actually managed to beat several other Earth-Benders at the same time.

**Pit**: Wait a minute, are you telling me that Toph literally is blind? Then how on earth can she be this good at combat?

**Palutena**: She once explained it to Aang how it works. She uses Earth Bending to see, kind of like seeing with her feet. She feels the vibrations in the earth and can determine where everything is. The opponents she is fighting, all dropped items and of course the three of us.

**Pit**: That's amazing. Now I am convinced that she is one of the strongest fighters around here, if she can be this skilled at battle while not having direct access to the most important sense! I will not hold back!

**Viridi**: I hope you lose Pit, because I would love to see your reaction to getting hit by that rock!

**Pit**: Come on, Viridi! Why are you so mean?

### **Thirty/Thirty**

**Pit**: Wow, something tells me to not mess with this fellow!

**Viridi**: I think you should, just so we can see your reaction.

**Pit**: HEY! I know that I have some extra lives to spare, but that was just cruel. This guy is a anthropomorphic horse wielding a blunderbuss, so goodness' sake!

**?**: EARS OF THE WOLF!

**Viridi**: Chill, Pit! Must you take everything so seriously?

**?**: Ah there you are! I would recommend you not attack Thirty/Thirty, if you want to be left without any severe injuries.

**Palutena**: Excuse me, mister but who are you?

**Marshal BraveStarr**: I am Marshal BraveStarr and Thirty/Thirty's battle partner.

**Palutena**: It is an honor to meet you, sir. So could you please tell us about...Thirty/Thirty? Is that really his name?

**Marshal BraveStarr**: It sure is. Now, Thirty/Thirty can change between a bipedal form as you can see here and a quadrupled form just like a normal horse. He is also armed with "Sarah Jane" which is the Blunderbuss that he is carrying around, he can use it fire really powerful blasts that can cause ravines.

**Pit**: Your partner over there seems to be a pretty tough opponent, since I know from experience that horses are really strong animals.

**Viridi**: Of course he is strong; he is not some lame pony like Derpy Hooves or Vinyl Scratch. Maybe he is also intelligent enough to figure out your battle-style before you get the chance to move.

**Marhal BraveStarr**: Oh he is not going to like me after I say this...

**Palutena**: What is the matter, Marshal?

**Marhal BraveStarr**: Well, you see... This is going to sound really rude, but oh well. Thirty/Thirty is not the most intelligent individual. He mostly prefers to blow stuff up without consideration and mostly he will fight just for the sake of fighting, while I prefer finding a peaceful resolution to a conflict.

**Pit**: But even then, he could still be a dangerous opponent. I have heard that unpredictability is a strength that warriors use in the battle to mess up their opponents and defeat them much easier. Even I have fought opponents like this before, both in my own games and Smash Bros.

**Viridi**: Whatever, I just wanted to see you lose... even if it is just one time!

**Palutena**: But Pit, even if you lose. You will still be my little cupid.

**Pit**: Oh Lady Palutena, you make me blush. Either way I feel more confident in fighting Thirty/Thirty. Thank you very much for the information Marshal BraveStarr.

**Marhal BraveStarr**: It was a pleasure, but do not expect me to help you that much. You see when Thirty/Thirty gets the power of a Smash Ball. I will help him in defeating the opponents, including the three of you if we have to.

**Pit**: No worries, Marshal BraveStarr! I am looking forwards to our battle!

**Marhal BraveStarr**: And so am I, but now I have to go. SPEED OF THE PUMA!

### **Wheelchair Guy**

**Pit**: No! Just no! I am not going to fight this guy!

**Palutena**: This is the first time I have you be this against a fight. Is it because Wheelchair Guy is in a wheelchair?

**Pit**: Exactly! This is an old man with broken limbs, sitting in a wheelchair. Fighting this man would be like kicking a person that lays on the ground. I refuse to fight him! It goes directly against my moral code!

**Palutena**: I understand, Pit. This old man has such a hard life. Not only is he the very old and have broken limbs, he also has to risk getting killed countless times so he can clear a course in "Happy Wheels".

**Pit**: Has this guy has been killed multiple times and yet he comes back to life again? How does that even work?

**Viridi**: Pit, you would know better than anybody about "killed-multiple-times-and-then-coming-back-to-life".

**Pit**: Oh right, hehehe. But Lady Palutena, you mentioned something called "Happy Wheels". What exactly is that?

**Palutena**: "Happy Wheels" is a ragdoll-physics-adventure based Flash game created by Jim Bonacci and launched in June of 2010. In that game the player can control a selection of various, unique characters. These characters include Segway Guy, Irresponsible Dad, Effective Shopper, Pogostick Man, Explorer Guy and of course Wheelchair Guy, just to name a few. When I said that Wheelchair Guy risks getting killed multiple times, I was not joking. The only thing that he truly wants it to reach the finish line, but probably not without losing some if not all of his limbs or get a harpoon jammed into his head.

**Pit**: Are you serious? This man, who sits in a wheelchair, is participating in a game where he can get killed in such a violent way? Well, I guess he does have some secret that he is hiding.

**Viridi**: Wheelchair Guy's wheelchair does have some rockets inbuilt into it. That gives him the ability to hover for a short while and travel faster on the ground.

**Pit**: Huh, maybe Wheelchair Guy is not as broken as I thought he was. But after knowing these new details, I still do want to fight him.

### **Hawkeye**

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, could you please tell me about this purple archer I am about to fight?

**Palutena**: That is Clinton Francis Barton aka "Hawkeye", or rather "Earth's Mightiest Hawkeye". He used to be an agent for S.H.E.I.L.D. but he later joined the Avengers as the team’s expert marksman. He may not have any super-powers like The Hulk, The Vision or Miss Marvel, but he is an impressive archer and combatant. He can run at an above average speed and be able to maintain his stamina during long combative situations.

**Pit**: The way you describe him, reminds me of myself. I mean, both of us are very skilled at archery and we can both run pretty fast and...

**Viridi**: Well, but you are obviously cheating since you can fly without the need of a flying cycle or something! Besides, I am sure that you cannot hit a target that is five miles away.

**Pit**: Does it really matter which one of us is better? Why can't we co-exist?

**Viridi**: You where the one who brought up this comparison us in the first place.

**Palutena**: Either way, Hawkeye has also proven to be at an almost inhuman level of human agility, able to move, dodge, and react to dangers quickly. One time, he caught an arrow being shot at him, then immediately threw it back to accurately hit a target the size of an insect. Hawkeye also has above average strength while being proficient in basic acrobatics.

**Viridi**: Yeah, Pit, admit defeat, you are doomed!

**Palutena**: And Viridi, Hawkeye can also be compared to you by a little. Hawkeye is cocky and very confident in himself, evident when he admitted to a supervillain that he had punched several other supervillains in their faces. Hawkeye also has a jokey nature as well, evident mostly while in battle. Does that remind you of somebody, Viridi?

**Viridi**: Yes, Hades does do most of these things except replace "supervillain" with "superhero". Also, you also like to mess around with Pit on a daily basis. Like when you just "threw" him away in your introduction trailer for Smash Wii U/3DS.

**Pit**: Yeah, I still remember the pain from that fall. Especially considering that I landed in "Skyworld" where the impact from my fall destroyed the floor and I lost a stock due to falling beyond the blast-zones.

**Palutena**: Oh... yeah... Either way, I would like to wish you good luck fighting Hawkeye.

**Pit**: Actually, I would really like if I could challenge Earth's Mightiest Hawkeye to an archery contest. And hey, we can even invite Dark Pit if he wants to join.

**Palutena**: That is not a bad idea! You talk to Hawkeye about this idea, Viridi you tell Dark Pit and I will well... I will get go and troll the heavens out of Iron Man because why not!

**Pit**: I just hope you come back in one piece, Lady Palutena.

### **Puss in Boots**

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, who is that cat over there?

**Palutena**: That is the Puss in Boots.

**Pit**: The Puss in Boots, oh my! HE IS THE LEGEND!

**Viridi**: Exactly and he is adorable! Yes, I love cats DEAL WITH IT!

**Pit**: I never said that liking cats is a bad thing! Either way, do any of you have any valuable information about Puss in Boots?

**Palutena**: Yes we do, but for that you need to pay a lot of money!

**Pit**: Seriously Lady Palutena?

**Palutena**: Nah, I am only messing with you Pit! Either way, do not let his size fool you. Puss is a capable fighter even when outnumbered by larger opponents. He is skilled with a sword and often practically dances around his enemies who can't keep up with him.

**Pit**: Well cats are known for being really nimble and brave...

**Viridi**: But I would also watch out for his trademark move, if I where you!

**Pit**: Really? Then what is his "trademark move"?

**Palutena**: His trademark attack is using his cute nature by staring up at his foes with an innocent, wide-eyed, expression, which softens his foes' hearts, and then quickly attacking with his sword or his sharp claws.

**Viridi**: Yes Pit! That stare of his is able to melt the hearts of anybody, even the most ruthless fellows.

**Palutena**: Puss in Boots not only a proud and honorable fighter, he also really good at playing a guitar, dance, sing and tell stories. He might even start playing a song for you during the battle in order to make you dance just so he can them smack you across the face with that same guitar.

**Viridi**: I feel so bad for the guitar!

**Pit**: Well it does seem that Puss in Boots and Shrek are good friends, right? If I am allowed to change the subject, which I do way to often... sorry.

**Palutena**: It is quite alright, Pit! Puss in Boots was once hired by King Harold to kill Shrek, but he later became friends with the ogre and Donkey since it turned out that they were not bad people at heart. Even though Donkey suggested that they should give Puss the Bob Barker treatment. Anyways, I wish you good luck while fighting him. You will need it!

**Pit**: Thank you, Lady Palutena!

### **Sash Lilac**

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, do you have any knowledge about Sonic's family and friends? Because something tells me that this female hedgehog is connected to him in some way.

**Palutena**: I am sorry Pit, but I have no information about either of these things at the moment. Even if I did, that information would not have helped you regarding Sash Lilac. Because she is not connected to Sonic, at least not directly.

**Pit**: Really? I was certain that they were connected, somehow. Maybe it is because they are both hedgehogs.

**Palutena**: Actually, Sash Lilac is not a hedgehog. She is actually a dragon.

**Pit**: Wait, she is a DRAGON? But she looks nothing like one. I can understand people calling Charizard a dragon since he at least looks like one, even if he is a Fire/flying type Pokémon. But how can Sash Lilac possibly be a dragon?

**Palutena**: She was actually a hedgehog during very early stages of her game's development, but that was changed later on. Actually, Freedom Planet (the game she originates from) was supposed to be a Sonic fan-game, complete with rings, Dr. Eggman and all that jazz. But as development went on, the creator of the game felt like and I quote: "I felt more and more like it was becoming a waste of time because I was ultimately creating something in the shadow of an established franchise and that it would never truly be my own work." So he was allowed to use the design of Sash Lilac along with her Friends: Carol Tea and Milla Basset in the game.

**Viridi**: Alright, enough of the history-lesson! Let's talk about you might expect when you fight her!

**Pit**: Sounds good to me! Although learning about the background of my opponent is important as well, so I can understand their motivations and why they do certain things in the way they do them.

**Palutena**: Exactly, Pit. Though I preferred the way Dark Pit said it: "Dodge their attacks, attack them back, then humiliate them if they have a sappy past, drink the whine of my haters and call it a day! LOL!"

**Pit**: Okay, that sounded like... something... Dark Pit would say.

**Viridi**: You don't say, Pit? Okay, you do know how to fight Sonic, don't you?

**Pit**: Well, I do have some knowledge about his fighting-style. At least that is relies on speed and Homing attacks, that he can roll and chain together his dash-attacks into a meteor-smashing dive-kick.

**Palutena**: Good! Because Sash Lilac's fighting-style is also mainly focused on speed and dashes. But she can also create a shield around herself that allows her walk over traps without taking any damage from them and she can also call upon her friends who can either give her food so she can recover health or assist her during the battle.

**Pit**: The way you describe Sash's fighting-style still makes me worried that my knowledge about Sonic would be more problematic then helpful.

**Viridi**: Well if you fought her when she got her first moveset back in May 2014, then your Sonic-Knowledge would be more helpful. Because trust me, back then, she was almost a direct copy! Yeah, her old moveset was really unimpressive!

**Smash Gamer**: HEY! At least I was able to fix it this time... at least I hope so...

### **Syndrome**

**Palutena**: Lady Palutena, can you tell me about this spandex-wearing oddball, please?

**Pit**: Of course I can. That is Buddy Pine aka "Syndrome", he once aspired to become a superhero and this goal led him to beg Bob Parr aka "Mr. Incredible" to hire him as a sidekick. Sadly, after Bob categorically refused to grant Buddy's favor, the future Syndrome has developed much rancor for not being given a chance by his idol and by the people.

**Viridi**: Yeah, this just another case of "wanted-to-be-a-hero-but-became-a-villain-because-he-was-rejected!" Like we have not seen that before...

**Palutena**: 15 years later, he became a successful weapons designer. Operating through his agent, he sent for many superheroes to fight his battle robot: The Omnidroid 9000 because of his revenge to Mr. Incredible who refused to help.

**Pit**: So let's see if I understand this correctly? Syndrome is a mad scientist who builds weapons that he sells to other people?

**Palutena**: You got the mad scientist part correctly. The Omnidroid 9000 gets sent out to kill superheroes and those that manages to defeat the battle robots where killed by improved and modified versions. And I would not be surprised if he summons one of those robots while you are fighting him.

**Pit**: But why would he do all of this?

**Viridi**: So that he could become a hero in his own eyes. Then when he is old and had his fun, he will sell his inventions so that everyone can become and superheroes.

**Pit**: But is everybody is a superhero, then...

**Palutena**: Nobody will be. Exactly!

**Pit**: So, now that I have a better understanding about who this guy is. Can I ask this: Does he have any special abilities that I need to worry about?

**Palutena**: Syndrome does not have any super-powers, like super-human strength, laser-shooting eyes or non-technology based flight. But he has a genius intellect and is able to use his various inventions in a fight. Including his Aero Boots that allows him to fly really fast, it is quite impressive actually. That he built those boots when he was just a boy.

**Pit**: Alright, I will make sure that he does not kill any more superheroes!

**Viridi**: Yeah, good luck... whatever... I will just wait here until the sequel to "The Incredibles" comes out. Knowing how you fight, the fight will probably last THAT long.

### **Bruce Lee**

**Pit**: Is that him?

**Palutena**: Yes, I think it really is him.

**Pit**: I just... I just cannot believe that I am going to fight... The Legendary Bruce Lee!

**Viridi**: What, are you afraid of him?

**Pit**: I am afraid of how powerful he is, he even managed to beat Chuck Norris! What's wrong with that?

**Viridi**: Nah, you have every right to be afraid of Bruce Lee! There is a reason why so many fighting game franchises have at least one character that is based on him!

**Pit**: ...Lady Palutena?

**Palutena**: Yes, Pit?

**Pit**: Could you please give me some information about Bruce Lee?

**Palutena**: Certanly, my little cupid. Alright; Bruce Lee is a Hong Kong American martial artist, Hong Kong action film actor, martial arts instructor, philosopher, filmmaker and the founder of Jeet Kune Do. The main reason he became the legend he is, is because he was robed when he was a child and he could not defend himself. Since then he has trained really hard in order to be able to defend himself if he was ever robed again.

**Viridi**: But instead he was introduced to the film industry by his father and appeared in several films as a child actor. Lee moved to the United States at the age of 18 to receive his higher education, at the University of Washington, at Seattle and it was during this time that he began teaching martial arts.

**Pit**: I have heard rumors that he is as close to a super-human has an actual real-life human could get, is that true?

**Palutena**: Well those rumors are pretty accurate actually. Just to name one example, since I don't want to monologue for hours. He has his One Inch Punch, it is a punch that is just done from one inch away from the opponent’s chest-area. Yet it is able to create enough damage to be compared to taking a direct hit from a speeding vehicle.

**Pit**: From just ONE inch away?

**Viridi**: EEYUP! One inch away.

**Pit**: Holy Cow! That is even stronger then Little Mac's KO uppercut!

**Viridi**: Well yeah, because at least the KO uppercut does not leave the opponent with severe injuries to the opponents rib-cage and inner organs. After all, in Super Smash Bros. if you get knocked out, you just come back in one piece. If you still have stocks left that is...

**Palutena**: Bruce Lee's first film was "Golden Gate Girl" which was released in 1941. Since then he has starred in 31 more films, two of which premiered after his death "Way of the Dragon" and "Game of Death" and one that he actually did not star in, but Wikipedia still lists it under Bruce's filmography. For whatever reason...

**Pit**: You know something, ladies. I kind of do not want to fight him...

**Palutena**: Why?

**Pit**: Because I will get destroyed by him.

**Palutena**: But you have been fighting against: Medusa, Hades, Master Hand, Crazy Hand, Tabuu and Master Core.

**Pit**: But they are not Bruce Lee!

### **Xion**

**Pit**: Is that girl using a key as a weapon?

**Palutena**: Not exactly, it is a Keyblade. A weapon that plays an important role in the battle between Darkness and Light. In combat, Keyblades are wielded in the same way as swords, with the specific style varying with the wielder. Despite many Keyblades' apparent frailty or lack of a cutting edge, Keyblades are able to serve as both excellent blunt weapons and supernaturally precise cutting tools. Keyblades are especially effective against creatures connected to hearts of darkness, including the Heartless, Nobodies, Unversed and Dream Eaters.

**Pit**: Seems like she is a really strong warrior, if she is worthy wielding a weapon like that. But who is she?

**Palutena**: Her name is Xion and she is the Rank XIV member of the original Organization XIII. She is not a normal Nobody, and is only a nominal member of the Organization. Because of this, she does not have a throne in Where Nothing Gathers, nor does she have a title or a type of Nobody to control.

**Pit**: I am sorry for interrupting you Lady Palutena. But did you call Xion a "nobody"? What does that mean?

**Palutena**: That means that she is not a "somebody". Nah just kidding! Xion is an imperfect Replica of Roxas created from Sora's leaked memories as a fail-safe in case both Sora and Roxas proved to be useless to Organization XIII's plans. While this enables her to use the Keyblade, her existence also halts Sora's progression of regaining his memories to fully awaken while in his pod.

**Viridi**: She also likes ice cream. Just putting it out there.

**Pit**: So Xion is basically made up of memories? Huh, I have never really thought that I would face something like this in my life-time.

**Palutena**: Neither would I. She actually changes appearance depending on who is looking at her and who they have connections with. She initially Xion initially resembled Kairi, who was Sora's strongest memory at the time of her birth. While Roxas, Axel, Riku, the three of us and pretty much everyone else in this game sees her as this black-haired girl that is standing over there.

**Viridi**: She can also summon swords that will fly behind her during the fight, heal herself, soot out a projectile that can home in on you and she can chain together her normal into a move that ends with some thunder-bolts or whatever.

**Pit**: Wow, she seems to have something for everything. But... I wonder if I am worthy to wield a Keyblade?

**Palutena**: Let me tell you something Pit. If I had a second Keyblade laying around, then I would give it to you.

**Viridi**: But what about the first?

**Palutena**: The first would be for myself and because of how "god-like" I am, I would have the "Ultima Weapon"! Pit, you can have the "True Light's Flight", so that you can fly on your own without my help. If that is what that Keyblade does.

**Viridi**: Whatever...

**Pit**: But in any case I suppose that I am ready to fight Xion. Let's just hope that I am enough of a worthy warrior to fight her. I mean, without a Keyblade and all.

**Palutena**: Even if you lose this fight, I am certain that Xion will accept you as a worthy opponent. After all, she is made out of Sora's memories and he as far as I know, shows respect to any opponent that does not work for Organization XIII or the Darkness in general.

**Pit**: Alright then! Wish me luck!

### **Iroha**

**Palutena**: Seems like you have met Iroha from the Samurai Shodown series?

**Pit**: I'm not sure, since I do not now who Iroha is.

**Palutena**: Then allow me to tell you the stuff that I know about this gorgeous woman. First off, she is not actually a human...

**Pit**: Sorry for interrupting lady Palutena, but are you saying that she is one of those warriors that can transform into another form?

**Palutena**: Well yes, but in actuality. Iroha is a crane that transformed herself into a Japanese maid.

**Pit**: A crane?

**Viridi**: Yes, a crane! It is a large long-legged and long-necked bird. There are fifteen species of crane in four genera. Unlike the similar-looking but unrelated herons, cranes fly with necks outstretched, not pulled back. Cranes live on all continents except Antarctica and South America.

**Pit**: Alright, easy there Viridi... But thank you for the information, even if it will not help while fighting this woman, I mean: crane.

**Viridi**: Well, Iroha does use the Fujian White Crane Style of Martial-Arts, with two additional butterfly-swords.

**Palutena**: That is true. Most of her moves involve her flapping her arms like wings and throw feathers at you, with further proves that she is an actual crane. So do not let her well... figure seduce you into thinking that she will be an easy opponent. You will just leave yourself open to get counter-attacked.

**Pit**: Well it is not the first time I have fought against beautiful women. Let's see, I have fought against: Phosphora, Darkk Lord Gaul, Lady Palutena when she was mind-controlled by the Chaos Kin and dare I say it... Medusa. Please don't kill me...

**Palutena**: It is quite alright, her "casual" redesign in Kid Icarus: Uprising makes her really gorgeous, even I will admit it. Unlike her true form so to speak.

**Pit**: And that is just in Kid Icarus: Uprising. In Smash Bros. I have fought; Peach, Zelda, Zero Suit Samus, Wii Fit Trainer, Lady Palutena again, Rosalina, Lucina...

**Viridi**: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Get to the point!

**Pit**: What I am trying to say is that: I am sure that I will not fall for her looks and hold back because of it. But is there anything else I need to know, like anything about her personality and/or motives?

**Palutena**: Iroha serves her master and appears to think of him as the most important aspect of her life. Though the master’s identity is unknown, but it is pretty likely that it is the player as Iroha often bows and speaks to the player before and after her fights.

**Viridi**: Yeah, even the creators of Samurai Shodown has confirmed that Iroha is specifically talking to male players. Like her Final Smash where she beats up the opponent while barely wearing anything was "fan-servicy" enough. Soon they will make a game where the player has the option to receive a kiss from her... oh wait!

**Pit**: I do not see the problem with her making the male gamers feel warm on the inside. I mean, Zero Suit Samus, Lucina and even you Lady Palutena are able to do the same thing in Smash Bros and in your home-games. If I just have to name three examples. Or does Jigglypuff count, since she is able to make Kirby feel warm on the inside.

**Palutena**: Well, yes, it is just the human nature of reproduction and attraction towards the opposite gender. But you better go now Pit, you know that it is impolite to keep a woman waiting. Even if you are going to engage her in combat!

**Pit**: Understood, I will go right away!

### **Jason Voorhees**

**Pit**: Who? Who? Who is that?

**Palutena**: That is Jason Voorhees. He is the son of a camp cook-turned-murdered and the primarily antagonist of the Friday the 13th Franchise. Even if he was not meant to carry the franchise forwards with that role.

**Pit**: I don't know if I should, but something tells me that I should be afraid of this guy.

**Viridi**: Yeah you should. This "man" is known for having killed the countless people who sets foot at Camp Crystal Lake.

**Palutena**: He did not make any contemporary appearance onscreen in the first movie, he still propelled the plot of the first film. Where his mother seeks revenge for his death which she blames on the camp counselors.

**Pit**: So he was killed prior to the events of the first movie, but how is he still alive and standing right over there?

**Palutena**: Well it turned out that he was still alive in the sequel, where he as an adult exacts revenge on a person named Alice for decapitating his mother in the original film. He returned to Crystal Lake, living there as a hermit and guarding it from all intruders. Just like what Viridi said earlier. Five years later a group of teenagers arrived to set up a new camp, only to be murdered one by one by Jason, who wore a bag over his head to hide his face. You see, he did not get his iconic hockey mask until in the third film.

**Pit**: So all Jason really wants is to take revenge on the people that killed his mother? What is so evil about that?

**Palutena**: That could be up for an extensive debate later. Although Jason has been seem as a sympathetic character, whose motivation for killing has been cited as being driven by the immoral actions of his victims and his own rage over having drowned as a child. But maybe there is some crucial details that I am missing. Which would not surprise me since I am not into Western Horror flicks that much.

Pit: Oh... That sounds horrible. Now I really wonder who the real antagonist is here…

**Viridi**: Of course Lady Palutena don't like horror-stuff! Instead she prefers reading romantic ship-fictions about Pit and Phosphora, right?

**Palutena**: WHAT? That is not true at all!

**Pit**: Are people shipping me with Phosphora? Well that makes sense wince she and I are pretty close in age and she did call me cute before our battle, only to take it back when I defeated her. But can we get back on topic, please?

**Viridi**: Whatever... Ever since the fourth film, Jason has received superhuman strength, regenerative powers and near invulnerability. So do not get cocky in case you stab him in the chest with your blades, most likely he will just pull out the blades like it was nothing and continue fighting you.

**Pit**: But what if I use some special types of weapons that I have in my inventory or even the Three Sacred Treasures?

**Palutena**: I am not sure that will fully defeat him either. If Jason can still keep fighting even after Freddy Krueger stabbed him in the eyes with his clawed glove, then Jason can probably survive the Three Sacred Treasures if he is given enough time to recover.

**Pit**: WOW, he survived after getting stabbed in the eyes! What is this? MORTAL KOMBAT!

**Palutena**: Actually, he is going to be a playable DLC character in Mortal Kombat X so once again, you get a cookie for randomly guessing some random trivia about your opponent.

**Pit**: Oh tanks Lady Palutena, what kind of cookie is it?

**Palutena**: How about a... Chocolate and Peanut Cookie?

**Pit**: Oh boy! My favorite!

**Palutena**: And I will give you two more if you defeat Jason Voorhees in a Smash Bros. fight... Since fighting Jason in "mortal Kombat" would not be the best idea. So go ahead, my little cookie monster!

**Pit**: I am on it!

**Viridi**: Seriously! For guiding Pit for a battle against a horror-movie icon, that sure ended light heartily. Oh well, what's next?

### **Predator**

**?**: Carl to base can you hear me? Carl to base can you hear me!? Why won't they answer?

**Viridi**: Well, I guess we could all have seen this happen sooner or later...

**Pit**: Are you talking about my opponent?

**Viridi**: No, why would I talk about your opponent? Yes, I am talking about your opponent!

**Palutena**: Pit, I want you to be really on your guard while fighting Predator, okay!

**Pit**: Absolutely, Lady Palutena... But what is he called, you mentioned that he is a Predator and something tells me that it is as accurate as Masahiro Sakurai's love towards Kirby Superstar.

**Palutena**: Well yeah, you could say that Predator is a predator.

**?**: This is bad, I cannot contact the base and I have no idea how I got to this strange-looking place. Oh well, I guess I will try again later.

**Viridi**: Are you guys hearing something?

**Palutena**: Loud and clear, excuse me sir but who are you?

**?**: What, who are you? Wait... So that is why they sent me out on a "Predator-mission", be careful you three, it might strike at any given moment!

**Pit**: Well, I am just about to fight this guy, but perhaps we could fight together. If you...

**?**: Hold on? You are going to fight a Predator? Well good luck kid, you might as well write down your last words. Because if you are going to fight a Predator, then you won't live for that long.

**Pit**: I see, but who are you mister?

**Carl Weathers**: I am Carl Weathers! Well, I am playing a character named: "Dillon", but somehow everyone is referring me by my real name so whatever! But why is the Predator not attacking us?

**Palutena**: I guess it is waiting for you to attack it...

**Carl Weathers**: That's odd, but whatever! I might as well use the little time we have to tell you kid about what Predators are capable of!

**Pit**: That would really be appreciated, sir!

**Carl Weathers**: First thing first: Predators have the ability to perfectly camouflage themselves by becoming completely invisible. They have access to several types of daggers, spears and other sharp weapons as well as Plasma-Cannon on its shoulder which can fire some really powerful blasts that can pierce through anything. But even without all these weapons, they possess super-human strength like being able to shattering solid concrete with their bare hands. Their bodies are resilient to damage, capable of recovering from multiple gunshot wounds and radiation doses which would be fatal to humans.

**Pit**: Well, that confirms that this guy is going to be though to take down! But I will not surrender without trying my very best!

**Carl Weathers**: I like your attitude kid!

**Palutena**: I have also heard that the Predators do have a strict code of honor and will for example not attack an unarmed human. Is that right, Mr. Weathers?

**Carl Weathers**: Yeah, I guess that is true. But I have learned to not trust any Predator a bit. Because even if we manage to defeat it, it will probably activate a bomb in the hopes of taking us with it to hell!

**Viridi**: And there the three of you will meet Scorpion and be forced to fight in MORTAL KOMBAT!

**Pit**: Really, Viridi. Was that really necessary?

**Viridi**: Oh come on Pit! You know it is true! Both Jason and Predator are going to appear in Mortal Kombat X as guest fighters and you Carl Weathers will be a DLC costume for Jax! It is all confirmed, so deal with it!

**Carl Weathers**: Whatever, let's just go and kill this Very... Ugly... Mother... Fucker!

**Pit**: If only this game allowed you to be a playable character as well.

**Carl Weathers**: What do you mean?

**Palutena**: What I guess he meant is that, Pit has to go alone on this one. But with your knowledge about Predator combined with your encouragement! I am certain that Pit will win this one!

**Carl Weathers**: Thanks, it was honorable to help you! Good luck kid!

### **Elphelt Valentine**

**Pit**: Alright, this might sound like an odd question to ask, but. Is that woman wearing a Wedding-dress while fighting?

**Palutena**: Huh, anything wrong with that? Peach, Zelda and Rosalina fight in dresses...

**Pit**: Well, but those dresses are not wedding-dresses. Either way, who is this woman?

**Viridi**: Nothing interesting to see here Pit. She is just a combination of female anime character clichés. Kind-hearted personality, CHECK! Lover of nature and animals, CHECK! Somehow strong enough to take on formidable fighters that has trained years and years to master there fighting styles with little with any effort, CHECK! A pair of large breasts that are highly exposed, bounce around for every steps she takes and turns on any male virgin gamer that notices them, CHECK AND MATE! That's all folks, have a nice day! I will return when Pit needs help again! See ya!

**Pit**: ....Well have a nice day, Viridi.

**Palutena**: Perhaps I should go into more detail.

**Pit**: That would be a good idea, Lady Palutena.

**Palutena**: Your opponent is "Elphelt Valentine", one of the latest additions to the roster of Guilty Gear Xrd -SIGN-. Even though tries to exemplify the pinnacle of femininity, only to fail over and over again. Probably because of her fighting-style, which consists on several types of weaponry. Including shot-guns, rifles, bombs and all that jazz. She is also able to attack you up-close with that bouquet of roses that she has, so please keep that in mind while fighting her.

**Pit**: So she is like Solid Snake?

**Palutena**: Actually yeah, at least if we are talking about her fighting-style. But if I can jump back to her "storyline-information". Elphelt is actually an artificially-created... I am not sure if the term "robot" works for her, but whatever.

**Pit**: If that is true, then the people that "built" did a really good job to make her look and act as human as possible.

**Palutena**: Probably, either way. In the final Chapter of Story Mode, it is revealed that her true objective was concealed from her own mind and didn't activate until after Justice's awakening. Elphelt was purposefully created not knowing her objective so that she could get close to Sol, Ky, and other major threats to "Mother." Even though Sol had much distrust for her in the beginning, he felt the need to save her from her programming as she started to remind him of Aria. Before she succeeds in self-destructing, she is stopped by her sister Ramlethal as thanks for helping her awaken to the concept of emotions. She is then brought back to the Backyard where her fate is currently unknown.

**Pit**: Aww, it is so sweet to see how the bond between sisters can be so strong and heart-warming. Even if the sisters where not humans at all.

**Palutena**: It is probably a better family-love story then Frozen, just my humble opinion. Hey, you know Pit. I might not be your sister, but get over here so I can give you a hug.

**Pit**: Really! Oh my, this is the best thing ever!

**Palutena**: And you know what, how about you go over to Elphelt and ask her if you can give her a hug as well.

**Pit**: Seriously?

**Palutena**: Yes, then you will also get the chance-of-a-life-time to have your face pressed into that chest of hers. Unless you want to take mine instead- After all, mine are much more god-like then Elphelt's. Wait hold on... HEY ELPHELT, get over here and help me give Pit the moment of his existence!

**Pit**: Lady Palutena?

**Palutena**: Oh Pit, she is coming right now! And you will just stay quiet and let us ladies do the work! Trust me, this is going to be the one moment that you will never forget!

### **Rexxar**

**Pit**: Wow... I do not want to make this guy angry at me.

**Palutena**: That would be a very wise choice, to not do. Rexxar show little mercy when he is engaged in combat!

**Pit**: So his name is Rexxar, huh? I do not know and please correct me if I am wrong, Lady Palutena. But is he like a slow bruiser-like character that is very strong on the ground but not as strong in the air?

**Palutena**: No! He is as fast as Sonic and has the same attack-stats as Master Giant!

**Pit**: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

**Palutena**: Yes... Of course I am kidding.

**Viridi**: I have heard you saying a lot of strange things, Pit. But did you just really ask if Rexxar is a character that focuses on strength rather than speed?

**Pit**: I don't see a problem here? There are quite a lot of large characters here that are surprisingly fast for their size.

**Palutena**: Alright, I will give you that. Anyways... Rexxar is a half-ogre, half-orc beastmaster of the Mok'Nathal clan and the Champion of the Horde. During one of his journeys, he encountered an orc warrior named Mogrin who was attacked by a group of quilboars. He tried to help the orc, but the quilboars struck a fatal blow, and the warrior fell. In his last wish, Mogrin asked Rexxar to deliver a message to Thrall, the orc Warchief, in the city of Orgrimmar and to keep Mogrin's death an honorable one.

**Pit**: And from there he helped Thrall and his army to defeat the humans and save the world, right?

**Palutena**: Well if you really want to simplify things, then yes. The story went is a direction similar to that one.

**Viridi**: Nah, I would just recommend playing Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne to see the full story and learn more about Rexxar as a character! After all, that game is still a gem even by today's standards.

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, you said that Rexxar is a beastmaster. Does that mean that he can summon various animals to fight by his side?

**Palutena**: Exactly! For starters, there is his loyal bear companion Misha. Rexxar can summon her at any moment and let her run around the battlefield on her own will so she can attack the opponents. Or in this case, you.

**Viridi**: He can also summon some really odd-looking boars called "quilbeasts" that can shoot arrows at you. Like Duck Hunt Duo's Down B, in case you need a comparison.

**Pit**: Interesting, though I think I will do alright.

**Viridi**: Really now, are you not getting a little too cocky?

**Pit**: No, I mean it! I have been fighting several powerful enemies at once several times. Both on the ground and in the air! And I have an idea about how Rexxar could fight, by looking at the two battle-axes that he has. It actually reminds me of Aeon Calcos a bit.

**Viridi**: You mean that lizardman, which is also in this game? Okay, but don't cry if you lose.

**Palutena**: You have been having plenty of sparring-matches against Magnus recently, so I guess you could use a similar strategy while fighting Rexxar.

**Pit**: Alright, I got it! But I am still a little intimidated by him, oh well.

### **Dödis**

**Pit**: Det är någonting med den här killen som inte stämmer, men jag kan inte sätta fingret på det.

**Palutena**: Inte jag heller. Men med tanke på att han har en döskalle som huvud så kan han vara... tja... död.

**Viridi**: Var han bara tvungen att dö innan han fick reda på hur idiotisk han ser ut med en badrock på sig?!

**Palutena**: Tydligen... Vänta lite nu? VARFÖR PRATAR VI SVENSKA?

**Pit**: Oh nej! Det betyder att majoriteten av alla spelare inte kommer förstå vad vi säger!

**Palutena**: Vi får diskutera skelettet senare! Först så måste vi hitta a solution to make us speak English again!

**Viridi**: Yes, we really... Hey, we speak English again!

**Palutena**: What, this is even more confusing than the fact that we spoke Swedish for a while.

**Pit**: Maybe this skeleton-guy has something to do with all this?

**Viridi**: That would not surprise me, he looks like the type of guy that likes to screw over people!

**Pit**: That makes sense. So Lady Palutena, have you found anything about him?

**Palutena**: There is no information about this guy anywhere I can find. It seems like he is a character that nobody except ARC knows who it is.

**Pit**: Then perhaps we should call him and ask for help.

**Palutena**: HOLD THE PHONE! A link just popped up on my Phone, let me open it... Oh, this could be useful!

**Pit**: What does it say?

**Palutena**: First of, thank goodness this document is in English so that I can read this. Anyhow, apparently this fellows name is "Dödis" and he was going to be the main character of a Swedish television show called: "En Dag i Livet!"

**Viridi**: "En Dag i Livet" I have never in all the universes heard of a TV-Show named like that!

**Palutena**: Either have I, but it looks like that show was one of the shows that was auditioned for SVT's main comedy show. But even when the pilot which was a 120 minute TV-movie was somewhat successful. The rest of the season never took of due to its controversial themes, the amination-studio's lack of money and resources to make some characters as accurate to the concept art as possible and lack over overall views. As such the show was forced to be cancelled after its first season. Really sad, because if it took off, then it could maybe make it to Japan and perhaps gain popularity over there.

**Pit**: Well it is shame that something that looked like the next big hit, never took off like the creator wanted it to. But who exactly is "Dödis"?

**Palutena**: Let's see, one of the plot-elements of the pilot was that the god of Death appeared on Earth in order to slaughter two thirds of the planets human population in order to save the Earth from being completely destroyed by them. But due to a misunderstanding, one of the protagonists named: "Karl-Erik Nilsson" thought that Death was released by his old friend "Cheval Caballo" so the later ended up losing his job because of that.

**Viridi**: Then let me guess... "Karl-Erik Nilsson" gathers some of his friends, goes on an epic journey to defeat Death and through some contrived rushed Deus Ex Machina, they actually manages to defeat Death and "save" the world. Right?

**Palutena**: Well it seems like the pilot even made fun of the whole "Deus Ex Machina-thing" by latterly having a character called: "Sir Deus Ex Machina" show up out of nowhere, just to be destroyed by Death before it could finish its "Heroic monologue". But like you said, Viridi. Death was eventually defeated and reduced to a much weaker state, which is... this guy right here.

**Pit**: Are you telling me that this guy in the red bathrobe is the God of Death!

**Palutena**: Yes, Pit. He may be in a much weaker form, but he is possibly still strong enough to give you a run for your money. Also, he might do some random stuff that you would never expect Pit. So can you please be extra careful while you are slåss mot honom?

**Pit**: Inga problem Fröken Palutena, jag skall göre mitt... Utmärkt, vi pratar Svenska igen!

**Viridi**: Jaha. Men om du lyckas besegra Dödis så kanske detta inte händer igen!

**Pit**: Inga problem! Detta fixar jag på momangen!

### **Tanya**

**Viridi**: Look Palutena, it is the traitorous one!

**Palutena**: Indeed it is.

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, is there something I need to know about this woman? What did she do?

**Palutena**: Her name is Tanya, she is a member of the Edenian race. But she betrayed them frequently and being an ally of the “Brotherhood of Shadow”.

**Pit**: The Brotherhood of Shadow?

**Palutena**: The “Brotherhood of Shadow” is an unholy and fanatic cult that is centered on the demon sorcerer “Quan Chi” and worship the fallen Elder God “Shinnok”. Its countless members are ever scheming and planning for Shinnok’s release from the Neatherrealm.

**Viridi**: In other words, they are evil and needs to get destroyed ASAP!

**Pit**: I see. Although, something tells me that she is just corrupted by this Shinnok-fellow and needs help to be freed.

**Viridi**: If that was the case, then she would have been saved by now. She is irredeemable! It does not matter who she is working for or with, sooner or later she is going to betray them. Her name is a synonym for “betrayal”.

**Pit**: But what about her fighting-skills, because she seems to be a tough cookie to crumple.

**Palutena**: She sure is. She has access to the Dragon Naginata that allows her to jump higher up and open up her opponents. She can also throw fireballs that various angles and them legs just likes kicking.

**Pit**: So she uses weapons in her fighting-style, okay. That means she is now the second Street Fighter character to use a weapon after Vega unless I am missing someone. Interesting...

**Palutena**: Actually Pit. Tanya is from Mortal Kombat.

**Pit**: Oh, sorry about that. How could I think she was from Street Fighter?

**Palutena**: Hehehe, silly boy. Either way, Tanya is a force to be reckon with, so be careful out there Pit. She is not going to hold back against anyone, probably including angels.

**Pit**: Don’t worry, lady Palutena. I will do my best!

**Palutena**: I know, you always do. May my blessings protect you!

**Viridi**: Yeah, considering that Tanya might be protected by Shinnok’s blessings. I am pretty sure Pit needs your blessings right about now.

**Palutena**: True, what would you expect from someone that is named after Ed Boon's sister.

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, what was that about?

**Palutena**: Oh nothing Pit, just keep fighting! You rock, wooho!

### **Master HiSing**

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, could you please tell me about this person over there.

**Palutena**: Certianly, that is Master HiSing.

**Pit**: Okay and who is he exactly?

**Palutena**: …

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, are you alright?

**Palutena**: I am alright, Pit. You do not need to worry about me.

**Pit**: Then why did you not answer my question?

**Palutena**: Because I am a little confused about the fact that he uses his original name from the Cantonese version of “Crazy Safari”. Yet, he speaks English here like he did in the English dub where he was just referred to as: “The Wise One”.

**Viridi**: And what does that have to do with anything?!

**Pit**: I am sorry Lady Palutena, but I actually agree with Viridi on this one.

**Palutena**: Alright fine… maybe I am just overplaying something extremely minor again.

**Viridi**: Yes you did, now tell Pit about the person who is going to kick his ass this time!

**Pit**: HEY!

**Palutena**: Very well, this is Master HiSing a Kung-Fu master and a master of ancient magic arts. His journey started when he agreed to help a young business man to get his undead ancestor back to China. But when they flew, the plane broke and they were forced to parachute themselves down to Africa… and killing the pilot in the process.

**Viridi**: That pilot was a jerk anyways, so I think it was a worthy sacrifice.

**Pit**: I still kind of feel bad for him. So what happened next?

**Palutena**: Well, the Ancestor ended up becoming a “prisoner” of an African tribe after he saved them from a bunch of greedy Caucasians. After that… well, it was a very funny experience and they finally managed to get back to China.

**Pit**: Good for them. Okay, you mentioned that he is a Kung-Fu master so I should fight like if I was fighting Ryu?

**Palutena**: Well, not really. Master HiSing has the power to mess up your mobility with a spell and even transfer a baboon-soul into you to make you act like you usually do when you are drunk. Hehehe. And that is just scratching the surface of what this man can do.

**Viridi**: He can also summon the Ancestor that Palutena was talking about and make him chase you around the stage for a really long time. Which would be a pretty funny thing to see, now that I mention it.

**Palutena**: Yeah, it would. But let’s not get too excited for something that may not even happen. Who knows, Pit might be too good and mop the floor with poor HiSing.

**Pit**: Excuse me, but are you not supposed to help me? Not make fun of me?

**Palutena**: Huh, do you want me to take care of him?

**Pit**: No, not at all! I can handle this myself! Thank you!

### **Probe Ike Newton**

**Pit**: This has to be the most oddly shaped opponent that I have ever faced.

**Palutena**: Yes, I am not sure if that thing even is built for fighting.

**?**: You are absolutely correct in that regard.

**Palutena**: Oh really. But what is it doing here then?

**Viridi**: I believe it is an Assist Trophy that got lost in translation.

**?**: Actually, Ike is not that either. But before I can tell you all that, allow me to introduce myself. I am James Kirkland, a State Paleontologist of the Utah Geological Survey and over there we have the Probe Isaac Newton or just “Ike”.

**Palutena**: It is an honor to meet you Mr. Kirkland.

**James Kirkland**: And I am equally honored to meet you three. Either way, Ike here is not build for fighting. But rather for scientific research for alien life on Darwin IV.

**Pit**: So that is why Ike is here, because he is researching… aliens.

**Palutena**: Well, to its credit, it probably could consider you an alien.

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, why would you…

**Palutena**: I mean humans do not really possess wings that are used for flight or anything of the sort. Nor do they have an identical clone of them or Guardian Orbitars that they can summon out of the blue.

**Pit**: Sigh…

**James Kirkland**: Hahahaha!

**Viridi**: You probably send Ike to the Metroid “Universe” if you were really that interested in aliens. But perhaps, Darwin IV (what a silly name) already had interesting life-forms to research.

**James Kirkland**: Darwin IV certainly had interesting life-forms and ecosystems. The perhaps most impressive one is an entire “sea” that is made of tiny organisms that trapped the remaining water that was left when the planets actual sea evaporated.

**Viridi**: So these organisms used to live in the sea, but the sea dies so they created their own sea?
James Kirkland: Pretty much. The sea-matrix is also the main habitat and food-source of the largest life-form that we have ever encountered... anywhere.

**Palutena**: I hope it was not so big that poor Ike would be threatened by it.

**James Kirkland**: I am sorry to tell you, but the Emperor Sea Strider could reach a height of 189 meters and crush an entire buss just by stepping on it with its gigantic feet. But even if it was just around 24,384 meters (as seen in the documentary), the mini-probes that Ike possess would be no match for it.
Palutena: No problem, Mr. Kirkland. We have “sean” worse.

**Pit**: You never fail to make a pun, Lady Palutena. But I guess we got a little of topic about how I should fight against Ike.

**Palutena**: Oh you are right, hmm, just use your legs or something. That always works.

**James Kirkland**: I am not so sure this would be a fair fight… Pit seems to be a pretty skilled aerial fighter, while Ike can only fly at a top speed of 30 mph and is not even built for fighting to begin with.

**Viridi**: If this strange mixed universe can turn the Cookie Monster, two school-girls, an army of ponies and freaking Jar Jar Binks into formidable opponents. Then I think Ike would at least be able to hold its own for like… 10 seconds.

**James Kirkland**: Well, eh… alright, I trust you. Pit might to be as frightening as the Eosapiens, so perhaps Ike will be alright.

**Pit**: The Eosapiens?

**James Kirkland**: Oh nothing! Just life-forms that Ike met that has a similar level of intelligence and life-style as Neanderthals. But I better take my leave, I got some researching to do.

**Palutena**: Thank you so much for your help, Mr. Kirkland.

**James Kirkland**: You are so welcome.

### **TyrantitarTube**

**Pit**: You know something Lady Palutena.

**Palutena**: Huh? What is it Pit?

**Pit**: It is a really nice breath of fresh air, to fight someone that does not have any visual superpowers or any sort of supernatural origins. Just someone who is just an average mortal that only goes forwards based on his courage and pure skill.

**Palutena**: I would not be so certain that this guy is just an “average mortal”. We thought the same thing about Rémi Gaillard and look where that brought the three of us.

**Viridi**: Hey don’t drag me into this! I was just doing my own thing while chewing bubblegum like a boss!
Pit: Alright fine, maybe I am getting ahead of myself… again.

**Palutena**: Don’t worry Pit. If this man has any powers then I will be more than happy to tell you all about them. After all, I have…

**Viridi**: Let’s just hope that some wacky mofo does not show up and ruin my advice or anything!

**?**: Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Do!

**Viridi**: Bite my ass!

**?**: No thanks, but you sure adorable. If I were to describe such beauty in terms of a stone, it would be a Sun Stone. No… It goes beyond that… Isn’t her brilliance like that of a… Geodude? She is as fantastic as a Steel-type Pokémon.

**Viridi**: Shut up! Does your rudeness know no bounds?

**?**: Nope! As the number-one servant of Peeko-sensei, I, Steven Stone, will…

**Palutena**: Do you know anything about this young man over there?

**Steven Stone**: Oh, right. That is TyrantitarTube. He is a guy that makes Pokémon related videos on Youtube. Including: speculation videos, news-updates, top five’s and other fun stuff.

**Pit**: I see… wait! Does this mean that he is a Pokémon Trainer, since he probably brought Pokémon into the fight to help him?

**Steven Stone**: …Yes. How could you make that connection so quickly?

**Pit**: Well I have fought against the Pokémon Trainer in Brawl and he brought Squirtle, Ivysaur and Charizard to do all the fighting for him.

**Steven Stone**: Okay. But do not expect him to use Pokémon that would make sense in normal circumstances. Like when he uses his Victreebel named “Shmurda”, it will use the moves “Dive” and “Transform” which it cannot learns normally.

**Palutena**: So TyrantitarTube has hacked his Pokémon to have illegal moves?

**Steven Stone**: No, you are mistaking. These Pokémon are 100 % legal and caught in the wild. Well, the wilderness of the alternate version of Hoenn that is guarded by the almighty Peeko-sensei! He is also able to spread out a sandstorm similar to his mascot Pokémon “Tyrantitar”, he can transform into a “Snorlax” and even summon Peeko-sensei himself to aid him recovering.

**Viridi**: So he has alternate versions of Pokémon, can summon a sandstorm, can travel quickly across the stage by a “Snorlax” and summon this “Peeko” thing to help him. Hmm, so much for just being an average mortal.

**Pit**: Hey! If you did not know any of this, you would have thought the same thing!

**Palutena**: Please calm down both of you! Now, since “Peeko” is as far as I understand a god. This might be one of the most equal battles that we ever had so far. Well except when Pit and Dark Pit squares off against each other.

**Steven Stone**: Yeah, because somehow. Despite that TyrantitarTube does not believe in the Peeko, the Peeko somehow believes in him! So much that he can even use me as a weapon. I just want him to believe in the Peeko. Hey, Pit! Do you believe in the Peeko?

**Pit**: I am sorry but I don’t, I believe in Lady Palutena!

**Steven Stone**: Whatever… I have to go now, my people need me! I hate you...

### **Freud Stream**

**Viridi**: What… What is that?

**Pit**: It looks like some kind of horse, but I really get creeped out by it. It must be the way it is staring into my soul or the fact it has three faces fused together.

**Palutena**: I will try to find all the information that I can about this creature, please wait.

**Pit**: Thanks lady Palutena… And here I thought that I have seen everything.

**Palutena**: Alright, I have found something here! Listen carefully now, Pit. That is Freud Stream, the younger of the “Stream-siblings” and a result of the Magical-Equine-Science-Project or “MESP” for short.

**Viridi**: Oh really, I just knew that this thing was created in a lab. When will humanity learn to not tinker with nature?

**Pit**: Well Viridi, they never seem to learn from their mistakes. Oh, sorry for interrupting you lady Palutena.

**Palutena**: No problem. Okay, it all started when a Danish scientist wanted to latterly create an Equestrian Pony or in Latin “Equus Equestrius” in real life. So by mixing together DNA from several breeds or horses, tapirs, rhinoceroses and even humans, narwhals and birds while also adding the energy of a meteorite that he had discovered to give the creation the ability to perform magic and become more “humane”. The experiment lasted for at least five horse-generations, each one becoming more and more should I say “disturbing” then the previous one.

**Viridi**: I hate science!

**Palutena**: Then one day, a mare gave birth to two foals that had the perfect DNA-structure that the scientist was looking for (even though they still looked like any other foals at the time). Unfortunately, one of these foals was “dead on arrival”, but was placed in a glass-container to keep for DNA-analysis to further improve the new species.

**Pit**: That is so sad, Freud Stream could have a sibling, but it just did not happen. He could probably be a little happier if he had someone to be with.

**Palutena**: Actually Freud Stream was the foal that was born dead, not his older sister.

**Viridi**: HOLD THE PHONE! If Freud Stream was the dead foal, then how on Earth is he alive right now?

**Palutena**: I will get to that in a minute. Alright, his older sister “Galaxy Stream” grew up to become a powerful and intelligent mare. Try to imagine an alicorn-pony that looks and acts like Rainbow Dash, but that has the mane and tail color, intellect and size of Twilight Sparkle, a tail-shape that looks like Scootaloo’s and a voice that sounds like Sugar Belle’s.

**Pit**: Wow… and I thought Twilight Sparkle was scary. Oh sorry…

**Palutena**: But one day, Galaxy Stream became too aware of herself and the power she possessed. So the scientist and his friends were forced to fight her and they managed to defeat her just by sheer luck. Upon their victory, the scientist demanded that half of the power that Galaxy Stream possessed had to be removed and placed in safe-keeping. So that she would not become as dangerous if she happened to rebel again. But one of the friends accidentally placed the removed power in the same container that Galaxy Stream's younger brother was kept and not only did the power revive the foal but in less than a month, it had caught up to his sister in terms of age and mutated into the creature that is standing over there.

**Pit**: So if I could make a wild guess here, because the power came from another source, it made Freud Stream look completely different from his sister.

**Palutena**: Yes, the power activated the same genes but they became something completely different. It is like how humans and chimps looks visually very little like each other, yet 95% of their DNA is the same. The similarities between these two siblings are almost obvious, for example: Freud Stream can still move his front-legs like if they are arms and change into a bipedal stance if needed. But he cannot perform magic like his sister, instead he can produce missiles and torrent-shots from his body and manipulate water.

**Viridi**: So not only is he the result of an experiment gone wrong, but he is also a living war-machine that can… uh… and the other gods wonder why I dislike science and human curiosity so much!

**Pit**: He seems to be more of a ground-based fighter then an aerial one, so perhaps I will be safe if I stay in the air where he cannot reach me. He probably won’t be able to change his battle strategy to deal with airborne opponents.

**Palutena**: Do not underestimate his intelligence, Pit. He may not be as smart as his sister, but he can still find solutions to most of his problems, including angels that like to fight him from the air.

**Pit**: Alright fine… I will be careful and use my Guardian Orbitars as often as I can.

**Viridi**: Well at least Freud Stream won’t be making some ridiculous puns and jokes in a language none of us can understand. Like a certain skeleton that comes from the same franchise as he does!

**Palutena**: Jag är säker på att han inte kommer prata svenska under den här striden. Var inte oroliga.

**Viridi**: Seriously Palutena, did you have to do that?!

**Palutena**: Why not, I have studied that language ever since the incident with Dödis. Hehehe…

### **Asuka**

**Palutena**: Pit, can I ask you something?

**Pit**: Sure, Lady Palutena.

**Palutena**: Why have you shielded your eyes with a scarf like that?

**Viridi**: Uhh, it is because he can’t stop watching Asuka’s breasts bouncing up and down all the time. It makes him lose his concentration and thus unable to listen to our guidance: Right?

**Pit**: Yes Viridi, you were pretty much spot on.

**Palutena**: Sometimes I wonder why I even bother sparring with you… and yet my chest is nowhere near the size of that mortal over there…

**Viridi**: What, are you jealous that a mortal has a bigger chest then a goddess? I mean I do not have these so called “boobies” and yet I am not bothered by it.

**Pit**: Ladies, could we please get back on track for once?

**Palutena**: Fine, it is not the first time you have been fighting a woman with such a “marvelous body”. Okay, now to my actual question: have you heard of the ninja master Hanzō?

**Pit**: I am sorry Lady Palutena, but does not ring a bell at all.

**Palutena**: You see, Asuka, your opponent, is Hanzō’s granddaughter and he was the main influence to make her train into becoming the ninja that she is today. She is a pretty fast fighter similar to Sheik and she can even summon rocks out of nowhere so be careful.

**Pit**: Yes, Lady Palutena. I will be careful… and…

**Viridi**: And keep my focus up, so that I don’t get seduced by her in the process of the fight. Admit it, that is what you were about to say.

**Pit**: Excuse me, but I have been fighting Zero Suit Samus quite often, her chest are around the same size as Asuka’s and yet I don’t “seduced” by fighting her.

**Palutena**: Maybe it is because Zero Suit Samus is not as friendly as Asuka, so that she would allow you to take a long enough look at them. But in your defense Pit, you are at least not going up against Asuka’s friend Katsuragi. Because then you would pretty much die due to blood loss.

**Pit**: Why are you so mean?

**Palutena**: Yeah sorry, let’s get serious. Try to use a similar strategy to when you are fighting Sheik, since I am certain that their fighting-styles will be similar. But with less grenades, needles, teleports and fish and more swords, rocks, aura and giggle physics.

**Pit**: I understand, the Upperdash Arm will probably be useful in fight for once… and so will these sunglasses.
Palutena: Sunglasses?

**Pit**: It is a good compromise, I will still be able to see her while we are fighting, but my sight will still be obscured enough so that I do not get too distracted by her… body.

**Palutena**: Ohh, I understand. You will have a hard climb up from that PIT in case you fall into it.

**Viridi**: Palutena, what is up with you and the jokes you make at the end of every one of these guidance's!?

**Palutena**: What’s the problem? Boobs are serious business!

### **Xemnas**

**Pit**: Wow… This guy seems like someone who you do not want to mess with.

**Palutena**: That is Xemnas, the Nobody of Terra-Xehanort, the former ruler of “The World That Never Was”, the leader of the original Organization XIII and a member of the True Organization XIII. He wields the power of nothingness and he channels this into his weapons, red blades of energy called Ethereal Blades.

**Viridi**: He has the ability to create a doppelganger of himself to help him in combat, like a “steroid-Luma” and he can create a barrier similar to the one Palutena can make.

**Pit**: Yeah, he might be one of the tougher opponents that I have to face in this strange realm.

**Viridi**: Well DUH! He is the most powerful member of the old Organization XIII. But he might have been surpassed in the new one by Master Xehanort. Then again, all members of that group are Xehanort anyways…

**Pit**: Are you saying that all the thirteen members of that organization are all and the same guy?

**Palutena**: Yes, but only in the true one. Not the one Xemnas was the leader of.

**Pit**: How is that even possible?

**Palutena**: To be perfectly honest, Pit. I have still not fully understood the whole thing about Nobodies and the likes. Not even after our encounter with Xion. But as far as I know, a “Nobody” is what remains of those who have lost their hearts to Darkness. Nobodies are made up of body and soul. Depending how strong their human hearts were, the body and soul will take a human or monster form.

**Pit**: Thank you Lady Palutena. But how exactly are…

**Viridi**: Let’s say that you stab yourself with a keyblade, then you pretty much create a person or a creature that looks somewhat like you and have your memories but does not have any heart on its own. Imagine Dark Pit, but more Disney-like!

**Pit**: Okay… but how are these guys living without a heart? Don’t they need a heart to allow their blood to flow through their blood-vessels?

**Viridi**: Pit, why can you never be serious for just one whole minute. Does this realm mess up your head that much? Either way… because in the Kingdom Hearts-universe, a person’s heart is pretty much the soul of that person.

**Palutena**: Exactly, Xemnas was created when Master Xehanort forced his heart into Terra and then…

**Viridi**: Can we please get back on track! If we have to explain this whole situation, we will be here all day! Just to recap, Xemnas is evil and he can fly on his own without any wings. Then again, so can almost every Kingdom Hearts character.

**Pit**: Well, I don’t care. If there is an evil presence, then I will fight it with all my HEART! I don’t care if I lose or have to struggle, he is not going to succeed in his mission to… what is his mission anyways?

**Palutena**: Well, I suppose he is helping Master Xehanort and the other Seekers of Darkness to recreate the Keyblade War. Or something… I am not certain I understand what is going on within the Kingdom Hearts universe. But in any case, good luck, Pit. I am counting on you!

**Pit**: I will not fail you, Lady Palutena!

### **Medaka Kurokami**

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, could you please tell me what you know about this woman?

**Palutena**: Oh certainly, that is Medaka Kurokami. She is a freshman of Class 13 and was the 98th and later 99th Student Council president of Hakoniwa Academy. She is an excellent academic student, placing first in the national test. In addition to her academic achievements, she has excelled in various other areas, such as calligraphy and sports, and obtained seemingly inhuman results. She is also a really powerful fighter so do not underestimate her.

**Pit**: Yeah, I had a feeling that she would be a tough opponent. So, what kind of techniques can she use in a battle?

**Palutena**: One of her trump-cards that she will use is preaching to “pitiful” people who need help.

**Pit**: You mean she can help her allies in a battle?

**Palutena**: No, Pit. Medaka will preach to people who have taken the wrong path in life. She does this by saying her views on these people out loud and that they can be saved from… themselves. By doing this, she has successfully reformed a whole bunch of "villains" without even trying. Does this clear up your confusion?

**Pit**: Well… yeah, a little. But I am not “pitiful”, am I?

**Palutena**: No, not at all. But I am certain that she does not know who you are so she would treat you as a “pitiful” person until you have proved her wrong.

**Pit**: Okay… is there anything else that I need to know?

**Palutena**: She also has a technique called “Kurokami Phantom”. First she will jump up and down a couple of times to drag out the noise so that the sound of her feet tapping on the floor isn't heard until after her feet have left the floor again. Once the sound lag is at its fullest, Medaka will blow forward, producing a sonic boom that destroys everything in her front of and behind her.

**Viridi**: Yeah, it is pretty much a “last-ditch” move that she once used in order to defeat Takachiho.

**Pit**: Viridi, there you are. I started to get worried about you.

**Viridi**: You were worried about me of all people?

**Pit**: Well yes, was I wrong to do that?

**Palutena**: No. But Pit, before you fight her. I probably need to tell you that when her friends are in deep danger… of when her older half-brother gropes her. She can turn into a state called. “War God Mode”. In that state, she loses her sense of humanity and goes berserk. Her presence becomes so ominous and evil that even Abnormals can be unnerved by it.

**Pit**: Okay, I will be on my guard. However, there is something that I am a little embarrassed to say, but I… I wonder if she will take me out on a date after were have fought. She is very, very beautiful…

**Viridi**: Sorry Pit, bit has made it pretty clear that she is in love with Zenkichi.

**Pit**: Oh well, at least I get to fight her. Thank you very much for the help!

**Palutena**: You are welcome!

### **Michael Bay**

**Pit**: Is that… Michael Bay himself?

**Palutena**: Yes, Pit. That is indeed, Michael Benjamin Bay.

**Viridi**: I knew that we would encounter him eventually. Considering all the other weirdos that we have met so far and possibly will meet.

**Palutena**: Alright Pit, are you ready to learn about battle strategies?

**Pit**: Of course Lady Palutena, you have my full attention!

**Palutena**: Okay, first of…

**?**: THAT SON OF A BITCH RUINED MY FRANCHISE AND REPLACED HE IN THE ROSTER!

**Viridi**: That voice sound familiar?

**80’s Shredder**: And it should, I am 80’s Shredder!

**Pit**: Hold on, were you not once a playable character?

**80’s Shredder**: Yes, I was! BUT THEN THIS MONSTER CAME AND TOOK MY PLACE! THEN ON TOP OF THAT, HE RUINED MY FRANCHISE!

**Palutena**: Please calm down and take a breather. You have made it perfectly clear that Mr. Bay “ruined your franchise”. But could you please explain how he did it?

**Viridi**: That would be if he even did it to begin with…

**80’s Shredder**: HOW DARE YOU QUESTION THE GLORY-WORDS OF THE TURTLE-FANDOM! HE DESSERVES TO BE HANGED FOR HIS CRIMES AND YOU WITH HIM FOR DEFENDING HIM!

**Pit**: Jeez, dude. Even if you don’t like Michael Bay’s TMNT-movie, at least accept that it that it is here to stay and move on!

**?**: Pit is right, you really need to take those Nostalgia-Goggles off! It is for the better of the people, especially yourself.

**80’s Shredder**: I WILL NEVER LEAVE THE PAST AND NOT EVEN A 50-FEET TALL ROBOT IS GOING TO STOP ME!

**Palutena**: Hold on! Are you Optimus Prime, for real?

**L. A. Optimus Prime**: Yes, Lady Palutena. I am Optimus Prime, the leader of the Autobots. And I will do everything in my power to protect this world from any threat. Including fanboys that are obsessed with Nostalgia, such the Nostalgia Critic, AVGN and this fool over here!

**80’s Shredder**: Remember the time when the Turtles were supposed to be funny! They were never aliens and… fuck this shit! Why am I explaining this to a brainless machine? My opinion is absolute fact and everyone who disagrees should be hanged!

**L. A. Optimus Prime**: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!!

**80’s Shredder**: Don’t say anything! Michael Bay ruined your franchise as well! And that was even before he ass-raped mine to hell and back!

**L. A. Optimus Prime**: Hmm... It might go against my character to speak in this harsh language. But here is the thing, Shredder. The 80’s cartoon that you are so obsessed with, “ass-raped” the original comic-books written by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman just as hard if not harder then you claim the Michael Bay-movie “ass-raped” the 80’s cartoon.

**80’s Shredder**: Lalalala, I can’t hear you! Lalalala!

**Pit**: Wow, this guy is even worse than Sakurai’s apologists.

**L. A. Optimus Prime**: And if Michael Bay “ruined” the Transformers franchise. I don’t really think he did, I think he did a pretty decent job with these movies. He even managed to get Peter Cullen to voice me. As for the reason why there are so many Transformers movies made by Mr. Bay, is because Hasbro loves to make money every chance that they get. Just like what they are doing with My Little Pony…

**80’s Shredder**: Oh no, don’t drag them into this!

**Pinkie Pie**: Hi, I am Pinkie Pie and I will throw you all a party! Oh is that Michael Bay, he is also invited! He is so good at creating explosions and even allow me to pose next to the American Flag! Hihihihi, I cannot wait for the Bronies to react to that! Oh and guys, have you heard, Hasbro has just confirmed that Equestria Girls 4!

**80’s Shredder**: Look like what you have done you retarded Tin-can! I hope that both of you and your fanboys die for questioning the oath of the TMNT-fandom!

**Pinkie Pie**: That was really rude of you! As a friend of Optimus “Primey” I will stand by his side into the very end!

**L. A. Optimus Prime**: Thank you very much Pinkie Pie, I really need your help to deal with this stubborn fellow. Who just cannot accept that Michael Bay tried his very best to make his movie as accurate to the original comics as possible.

**80’s Shredder**: OKAY THAT’S IT! MICHAEL BAY IS THE WORST HUMAN BEING TO EVEN COME OUT OF A WOMANS WOUNB AND HE DESSERVES TO HAVE HIS HEAD CUT OFF FOR EVEN TRYING TO INNOVATE THE PERFECT FRANCHISE THAT IS THE 80’S CARTOON!

**Pinkie Pie**: THINGS CHANGE, DEAL WITH IT YOU BIG MEANIE!

**80’s Shredder**: FUCK OFF YOU RETARDED HORSE! I HOPE THEY TURN YOU INTO LASSANGE!

**Pit**: I think we better get out of here, this looks to get really ugly.

**Palutena**: I agree. I have no clue this could get any worse…

**Chrom**: Hi guys, just wanted to stop by and see what you were doing. Wow, this is a hefty debate going on here… can I join in?

**Viridi**: I really need a vacation…

### **Brightwing**

**Pit**: Lady Palutena, what do you know about that dragon-looking creature over there?

**Palutena**: Oh, you have not heard about the fearie dragons?

**Pit**: Sorry Lady Palutena, but I have not.

**Viridi**: OH MY GOSH! Finally something worthwhile! Alright listen to me Pit!

**Pit**: Absolutely Viridi, you have my full attention.

**Viridi**: Fearie dragons, also known as sprites or blink dragons may not be actual dragons. But these mystical looking creatures police the Emerald Dream from magic and by doing so, they have developed an immunity to magic.
Pit: But aren’t most of my attacks influenced by magic?

**Viridi**: Yes… but you will probably find a way around it. Like you… unfortunately… do pretty often.

**Pit**: I beg your pardon?

**Viridi**: Either way, the fearie dragons (possibly including Brightwing over there) have long been used by the night elves in their endeavors. They have a powerful natural defense against magic and the unique ability to phase out of reality…

**Palutena**: I am sorry for interrupting you Viridi, but…

**Viridi**: This is ludicrous! I finally get to have a guidance dedicated to me because of my knowledge about the fearie dragons and you… screw this I am out!

**Pit**: I am sorry, lady Palutena. But that was pretty rude of you.

**Palutena**: I just wanted to remind Viridi to tell you about the particular fearie dragon over there and not get distracted by the species as a whole.

**Pit**: Well, I still think it was rude of you. So what is it about “Brightwing” that is so special? Because that is her name right?

**Palutena**: Yes, that is her name. Brightwing has the power to transform you into an animal and prevent you from using any of your abilities for a short period of time. But that is not all, she can even rapidly heal her allies in a team-fight.

**Pit**: So she is more of a support then an actual fighter? That is surprising, how she can hold herself in a one-on-one fight. Because at some point, she will end up in those.

**Palutena**: True, but her moves will actually get altered when she is in a one-on-one battle. I think it is her Up special move that goes from healing an ally to stunning an opponent when there are no allies around. However, deep down, she just wants to make new friends.

**Pit**: Well, I don’t see any problems with becoming friends with anyone.

**Palutena**: Well, she does like to eat her friends up after she is done playing with them. She is a dragon sub-species and like those, she likes eating meat… mostly human meat.

**Pit**: I may not be a human, but oh well… There goes that idea of a…

**Stitches**: STITCHES’S SPOT WAS STOLEN BY BRIGHTWING!

**Pit**: What the…

**Stitches**: STITCHES WANT REVENGE!

**Viridi**: Well, looks like someone is in trouble! Stitches came out of nowhere and asked where he could find Brightwing.

**Pit**: And you told him?

**Viridi**: Yepp, honesty is the best policy…

**Pit**: Well at least I can get some relaxation-time, because Brightwing actually started to creep me out. It was probably her voice and her… let’s get out of here!

**Stitches**: STICTHES WANT ARC TO ADD ME AS DLC!

## **Ending**

After the player has seen as the "Palutena's Guidance's", a special cut-scene will play.

**Pit**: Alright, now I really feeling it! Bring on the next opponent!

**Palutena**: I am sorry Pit, but we have just guided you through all the 60 characters in Super ARC Bros. Brawl. There is nobody left.

**Pit**: What, is it already over?

**Palutena**: I guess so. But the three of us certainly learned a lot about some characters that we would never imagine that we would meet in our wildest dreams.

**Pit**: Yeah. I would not mind meeting some of them again, but there we also some that were just too much for me to handle and that is saying a lot.

**Palutena**: Yes, even I got some weird feelings about certain warriors that we met.

**Viridi**: HEY LOOK EVERYONE! IT IS THE PORTAL THAT BROUGHT US HERE!

**Palutena**: Oh my gosh, it is! It is probably going to send us home to Skyworld!

**Pit**: THEN WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? LET'S GO!

**?**: Hold there Pit! I just want to say something before you all leave this place!

**Pit**: That voice sounds really familiar! Wait is that?

**?**: Kept you waiting huh?

**Pit**: NO WAY! Snake is that really you!?

**Solid Snake**: Yes, it is me. It's been a long time hasn't it?

**Pit**: Yeah sure. But what are you even doing here?

**Solid Snake**: Ever since the three of you got transported into this weird place, I have been trying to communicate with you. But I kept on failing, so I decided to talk to you personally. And talk about walking an extra mile, then again if I want to be in Smash 4, then I have to walk even longer...

**Pit**: And now that you finally found us, we are about to leave. This is just THE most unfortunate thing to ever happen!

**Solid Snake**: Now come to think of it... how exactly is it like to be in Smash Wii U/3DS compared to Brawl? Met any new faces?

**Viridi**: Well my brain is so full with the weirdness of all the fighters in this game so I completely forgot about the roster in Smash Wii U/3DS. Then again, it will feel like a rediscovery, just in time for Mewtwo to be released.

**Palutena**: I am sorry mister Snake, but all three of us really want to get back home to Skyworld. Our duty in this world has been fulfilled to its absolute completion!

**Solid Snake**: I understand, I just wanted to talk to you again Pit.

**Pit**: No problem! Hey! Maybe we could meet in Smash again someday!?

**Solid Snake**: I just hope that Nintendo and Konami work out some kind of deal to make me a DLC character for Super Smash Bros. for Wii U & 3DS. Then we can have our rematch, and I can also get to fight Lady Palutena and that recolor of yours.

**Pit**: YES, let’s hope so! See Ya, Snake!

**Solid Snake**: Farewell Pit! Farewell!

And so Pit, Palutena and Viridi went into the portal and got transported to the exact same place where they had their tea-party. The tea was still warm, even though they have been gone for so long. They all finished their tea and then went to bed, but are they going to sleep well tonight? After all the things they have been through? I have no idea, but what I do know is that either of these three will forget that they have been in a game called: "Super ARC Bros. Brawl!"

**THE END**

## **Characters**

### **Appears in every guidance**

**Pit**
(Kid Icarus)**Palutena**
(Kid Icarus)**Viridi**
(Kid Icarus: Uprising)
### **Character specific cameos**

**Queen Chrysalis**
(My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
**Appears in Fluffle Puff's Guidance****The British Army**
(Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
**Appears in Arthur - King of the Britons' Guidance****Octavia Melody**
(My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
**Appears in Vinyl Scratch's Guidance**Smash Gamer
(Super ARC Bros. Brawl)
**Appears in Harmonica's and Sash Lilac's Guidance****Gatomon**
(Digimon Adventure 01)
**Appears in Myotismon's Guidance**Discord
(My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
**Appears in Q's Guidance****J. Jonah Jameson**
(Spider-Man (2002))
**Appears in Ultimate Spider-Man's Guidance****Yusuf Gaston**
(The Frollo Show)
**Appears in Achmed Frollo's Guidance****Dark Pit**
(Kid Icarus: Uprising)
**Appears in Sailor Mercury's Guidance****Danny Vasquez**
(Bravest Warriors)
**Appears in Wallow's Guidance****Lord Hater**
(Wander Over Yonder)
**Appears in Wander's Guidance****Sunset Shimmer**
(My Little Pony: Equestria Girls)
**Appears in Rainbow Dash's Guidance****Marshal BraveStarr**
(BraveStarr)
**Appears in Thirty/Thirty's Guidance****Carl Weathers**
(Predator (1987))
**Appears in Predator's Guidance****James Kirkland**
(Alien Planet)
**Appears in Probe Ike Newton's Guidance****Steven Stone**
(Pokémon Ruby & Sapphire)
**Appears in TyrantitarTube's Guidance**80's Shredder
(Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987))
**Appears in Michael Bay's Guidance****L. A. Optimus Prime**
(Transformers (2007))
**Appears in Michael Bay's Guidance**Pinkie Pie
(My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
**Appears in Michael Bay's Guidance****Chrom**
(Fire Emblem: Awakening)
**Appears in Michael Bay's Guidance****Stitches**
(World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade)
**Appears in Brightwing's Guidance**
### **Appears in the Ending**

**Solid Snake**
(Metal Gear)