recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
I've Got Issues With Your Tissues

I've Got Issues With Your Tissues is a Bryant Oden song, in which the singer has a problem with a flatmate, spouse or child who leaves their tissues on the floor for him to step on, and threatens to stick them on their door.

http://www.songdrops.com/funny-kids-songs-for-children/ive-got-issues-with-your-tissues.html
Wilhelm Lorenz

Wilhelm was a highly decorated and skilled Generalmajor in the Wehrmacht during World War II.

## Biography

### Before Episode 1

For his incredible combat and leadership skills, the Grand Master made him a Templar, and was also given the Knight's Cross of the Iron Cross.

### Episode 1

As he was for a time the Grand Master right hand, he was sent to Russia to right the Russian Army. The Templar scheme was simple, as long as the war will scar the world and spirits; the more the peace would be needed after the war was over. Wilhelm Lorenz headed to Demyansk, Russia in December 1942. He was confronted by the Mentor there, who tried to kill him, though he escaped, he was injured during the fight.
The Mentor searched for him during the last days of 1942, and finally found him hidden near Demyansk. The weakened and alone Templar still saw the Mentor coming to kill him, but was unable to defend himself. He was killed after a short fight in January 1943.

## Personality and characteristics

Wilhelm was a powerful Templar, a capable fighter and powerful leader. He knew a lot of things about the Assassins, including their rites. Vidic thought he would be the right soldier to control the battlefield in Russia, as he would see them coming.
Unfortunately, he was not skilled enough to kill the mentor.
Alberto's Trip 2

A sequel to Michael Mooson's *Alberto's Trip,* written and directed by Fagson Elnojewski, inspired by Digital Stephen King's 2015 book *The Mexican Shadow.*

## Plot

The movie takes place one year after the finale of *Alberto's Trip*, with the main character, Alberto the Hobo, getting a visit from Jerry the loan shark. The hero is given an ultimatum - either he delivers Jerry one hundred thousand US dollars he owes him, or his organs get harvested and sold on the black market.

With that unpleasant perspective in mind, Alberto steals an experimental batch of meth from his local police department, hops on his bike and along with his loyal stuffed owl makes his way to Mexico to sell the merchandise.

His journey gradually becomes more and more paranormal, with the ghost of David Bowie visiting Alberto in his sleep, God himself helping the hero out, and Alberto's clash with the hostile natives.

Little does he know he is being chased by the entirety of DEA and Mexican Border Police, for the meth he stole is more important that he could possibly think...
The Primates

## Background

Although the Primates are a violent 3-monkey gang dealing in hard drugs, its members have starred in a highly-rated movie directed by Fagson Elnojewski (*Monkey See, Monkey Do*).

Even though they operate in the open and rarely change location, they have not yet been caught in act, and so, the Daveian police are not authorized to arrest them.

## Barry Adolph the Baboon

Head of the gang, the infamous baboon who died from a crack overdose and broke out of Baboon Heaven.

Despite being a baboon, he has served in CSF (*Curry Strike Force*) thanks to his impressive bluffing skills. Gone rogue after CSF secured the Daveian border and the fighting came to an end, he now specializes in crack parties and dealing crack.

## Clyde the Orangutan the Meth Dealer

Second-in-command, the most knowledgeable member of the gang, specializes in dealing meth.

It is rumored Barry met Clyde in Vietnam, which might as well be true, since his age is unknown. Despite fighting in 'Nam, Clyde has little combat experience, as he served as field medic and local drug provider.

## Jimmy the Heroin-Addicted Mandrill

The 'Muscle' of the gang, Jimmy is an expert in hand-to-hand combat and turd flinging.

The youngest of the bunch, it is believed he was picked up from the street by Barry and Clyde in the beginning of their criminal career. His addiction to heroin is both a blessing and a curse, since Jimmy is known for going berserk and completely obliterating anyone standing in the way of his fix.
Anus Ron (Movie)

A Fagson Elnojewski/Zanzibar Pictures production starring Anus Ron himself, as himself.

## Plot

The plot begins with Anus Ron preparing a fresh batch of cracksphoric solution, which he intends to use in order to learn about market stocks for the next few months. The procedure, however, goes terribly wrong due to a flawed batch of crack, and creates a portal to another timeline, from which Anus Ron's mischievous alternate-reality-clone emerges.

The clone for reasons unknown wishes no physical harm to Anus, but wants to humiliate him. He does so by appearing in public places with a bunch of women (to imply that original Ron is not homosexual) and making ridiculous claims, which get attributed to our protagonist due to their uncanny physical similarity.

In response, Anus Ron challenges his clone to a battle of performance art, from which only the original Anus will emerge victorious.

Since Anus' clone knows the art of Solar Anus and other performance pieces just as well as Ron does, he has to come up with something no one has ever seen before...
Evil Gay Doppelganger

## Background

Indian Dave from an alternate dimension, brought into this world by a horrible accident involving bacalhau.

Evil Gay Doppelganger has allegedly been summoned during the annual Snorting Crack to The Beat night at Anus Ron's residence. The harmonious vibrations from the music, piles of crack left in the open and the Bacalhau Salesman's presence made for a terrible combination. All it took was a bit of bacalhau falling into a crack pile; the music and Anus Ron's powerful spiritual aura, combined with unusual ingredients, have opened a portal right where the crack pile was. EGD emerged through the inter-dimensional gate (which closed almost immediately) and then escaped the residence, knocking out a few trash cans on his way out.

Despite Anus Ron's best efforts to banish him, the Doppelganger still resides within our universe, although he usually prefers to cause mischief away from Dave. Despite that, Indian has had many run-ins with the imposter.

## Trivia

* The 'gay' in doppelganger's name refers to the negativity of this character, not his sexual preference. Doppelganger has been confirmed straight.
* Since EGD is physically indistinguishable from Dave, he can impersonate him easily.
Fagson Elnojewski

Fagson Elnojewski (born 1995) - film director, close friend of Indian Dave and Jeremy Hogson, vice cracksident of the Church of Indian Dave, First Ambassador of Daveia.

## Background

Despite being the First Ambassador, Fagson Elnojewski has been rumored to be related to a drug-smuggling organisation known as The Primates. He has been caught contacting individuals such as Barry Adolph the Baboon or Clyde the Orangutan the Meth Dealer on multiple occasions, but he denied all and any allegations.

Despite that, the Primates star in one of his best-rated movies, *Monkey See, Monkey Do*.

Fagson is widely known for his non-Australian-identity breakdowns (Mundy syndrome) and his weakness for Vegemite.

Fagson Elnojewski is also suspected to be the main man behind Dave Corp.'s most popular drug-infused drink, CRECK™.

## Films directed

* *A Beautiful Mind*
* *Alberto's Trip 2*
* *Anus Ron*
* *BORG*
* *Fear and Loathing in Florida*
* *Hairy Hog '77*
* *HE*
* *Hi, I'm Dave*
* *How Dave Stole Christmas*
* *Indian Dave: Homophobic Prejudices*
* *Indian Dave 2: The Super Long Taco Boner*
* *Indian Dave: The Beginning*
* *Indian Dave: The Musical*
* *Indian Dave and the Mystery of the Floating Baboon Island*
* *Monkey See, Monkey Do*
* *Safety Not Guaranteed*
* *Two Willyrexxing Uncles*
* *White Skies: The Baboon Who Lost It All*
* *WHO are the Patriots?*
Cakes

**Cakes** (full name unknown), also known as Keksimus Maximus, is currently one of the biggest criminals at large in Daveia. He is well known for causing the Kolkata Heisting Spree of 2011, as well as his fondness of cats.

## Background

Cakes is known to have a Polish descent, yet he has never spoken about his childhood or family back in Poland. It is speculated, however, that he despised all of his family members. He has commited quite a few minor crimes in his teenage years, such as petty theft, unarmed assault, trespassing and vandalism. Over time, he would have been convicted of grand theft after his first unsuccessful bank robbery.

The final sentence on his trial was to deport Cakes by train to the Socialist Republic of China. However, nearing the Daveian railroads, a mysterious force took over the train and caused it to derail, killing a thousand of Polish officers and prisoners except him. This spirit would later reveal itself to be Kittycables, and offer to Cakes a mysterious contract before vanishing; if he cleared out all banks associated to Salamander Corps, he'd be blessed by supernatural powers.

Now being led by this supernatural entity, Cakes has gone on various crime sprees that go from robbing banks to even invading foreign soil.

## Career

Cakes is very infamous for his role as the mastermind of the Kolkata Heisting Spree of 2011, in which he was assisted by Michael Mooson and Kowalski. The events consisted of a large number of robberies from companies speculated to be associated with Salamander Corps, taking from great ammounts of cash and gold to even nuclear weaponry.

Since then, Cakes has recieved a handful of contracts from members of the CSF in many of Daveia's rival countries (pretty much everywhere, really), as a sign of appreciation for his patriotism.

## Trivia

* Cakes' entire arsenal is equipped with Hoxhude technology, calibrated individually for maximum accuracy and range. His favourite weapon is the GEP gun, perfect for silent takedowns.
* He is well known for his special effects studio, Cakelix Explosion Studios, which offers high quality services for stunts and live-action films. Other countries speculate he uses it as a front for money laundering.
Don Chicki

Don Chicki (born 1967) - half-brother of Marbera Donto and retired Cracko (crack laced tacos) dealer who used to illegally sell crackos near the borders of Mexico. Mexican intellectual. Moved to Daveia somewhere in the 90's.

## Background

Not much is known of Chicki's past, other than him having a close encounter with a pissed-off wigger in 1995, which resulted in the wigger molesting and urinating upon his unconscious body; the story made it to the news and thus Chicki became a local legend as the first man in Daveia to survive a pissed-off wigger attack.

There are also claims that Don Chicki is a business associate of the Bacalhau Salesman, but the reports have never been investigated.

Don Chicki often changes names and appearances, as he is being hunted by many drug gangs which seek to obtain the secret to Cracko production. Because of this, it is almost impossible for the Daveian Police Forces to get a lead on him.

## Trivia

* Don Chicki has briefly starred in a kid's show dedicated to him, *Don Chicki's Sticky Icky Quickies* (aired by Daveian TV in 2004).
* It is believed that Don Chicki is the last man alive that knows the secret Cracko recipe. Allegedly, his last will states that upon his death the recipe should be handed over to Dave Corp.
Indian Dave: The Crack Road

A videogame developed and published by Elnohogski studios, with music by Cakelix Explosion Studios; available for Windows and Crackstation 3 and remastered for Crackstation 4 and Crackbox One. Released 2014.

## About

Indian Dave: The Crack Road is a classic shooter with platforming elements.

Dave comes to Africa to retrieve his stolen crack. He doesn't know the mastermind behind this action, but later in the game finds out that Salamander Man, his former ally, has managed the whole operation. Indian travels through several stages, such as India, Somalia, Kenya or Zanzibar and fights a number of enemies - native Africans, private forces, hostile wildlife and crack-hungry junkies.

The game features many weapons and accessories, such as a magic laser-shooting turban or boomerang mustache.

The game itself has won the hearts of millions, and every year Crack Road Speedruns parties are hosted throughout Daveia.

## Trivia

* Point-hogging and speedrunning this game are considered Daveia's national sports.
* The game is also on the *Daveia's Cultural Achievements* list.
Daveian Colony of Uganda

Established in October 1997, 2 years after CSF's military success in Somalia.

## Uganda's Plead

Uganda, unlike Somalia, has actually become a Daveian colony through negotiations and a formal agreement made by the president Yoveri Museveni.
Even a few years before the Daveian Uprising, Uganda was struggling to feed its people. The country suffered greatly from the lack of farmers, as most of the country folk were used to producing and consuming cheap drugs in excessive quantities on the daily basis, instead of tending to crops. In the beginning of 1997, the issue has reached its peak - something had to be done quickly, or the majority of population would die out.

Yoveri looked to Somalia, a Daveian colony, that has had similar struggles in the past, but overcame them with the aid of Daveian overlords. The key to Somalian success was a specific variation of crack, which, instead of sending the user on a nice, relaxing trip, induced a more energetic state - much like the stimulants used by college youth to prepare for exams in record time.

Uganda has pushed a proposal to Mumbai - they would pledge their lands and resources in exchange for crack and some supplies, so the population would not starve; Indian Dave, sensing great opportunity, has approved of the deal the same day - on the 12th of October 1997; and so, Uganda has officially (and legally) become a Daveian colony.

## Trade and resources

Unlike Somalia, Uganda doesn't have much natural resources save for two coal mines; however, Daveian scientists have found the Ugandan soil to be extremely fertile, and so the colony now houses the biggest plantation of cannabis in the world.

## Culture and law

Daveian authorities have agreed to let Uganda preserve their own culture and traditions; however, just like in Somalia, Daveian laws and holidays still apply in the colony.

## Trivia

* Starvation has not been a problem since Uganda's annexation, since all the farmers have been exposed to extremely stimulating crack and work overtime.
* The cannabis grown in Uganda is exported for both recreational and medicinal uses.
Rape Ape

Also known as *Urban Monkey*, *Rape Ape* is *Pandad's* cousin and a partner in crime.

## Background

The Irish value family above all else (except booze), and *Pandad* is no exception - even though they work in different fields, both *Rape Ape* and his cousin regularly team up for robberies, espionage and fraud.

Even though siding with *Pandad* and, indirectly, with Salamander Man, makes him Indian Dave's enemy, *Rape Ape* does not care about politics, money, or values - he is fixated on rape and only rape. Whether the victim is male, female, old, young, crippled or dead - does not matter to him.

## Trivia

* Rape Ape also wears a mask, and, similarly to *Pandad*, never takes it off.
* His parkour skills and a great sense of smell make him an excellent scout.
Indian Turtle

## Creation

Indian Dave ordered to build a secret underground lab to try and invent the perfect animal bodyguard.

The facility was complete by the beginning of 1987, a few months after Crack Crisis of '86, when Dave Corp. started making profit again.

After many failed experiments of injecting crack and meth into chimpanzees, the researchers of D.I.C.K (Daveian Institute of Crack Kidnapping) decided to move onto different animals, one of those being the Indian Turtle. The Indian Turtle escaped the lab shortly after getting enhanced, and it is the only turtle prototype alive. Mass production was impossible anyway, as Dave Corp. did not have sufficient funds to continue research at the time - in addition to the Crack Crisis of 1976, the lab had to be shut down.

## Background

Indian Turtle worked as Dave's personal bodyguard in the 1987-1990 period. When the Daveian Uprising began Turtle took a sniper shot for Dave. The bullet of an unknown assassin put him in a coma. When the uprising was over, Indian Turtle was revived by Anus Ron. With the help of a new science department in Mumbai it was made into half turtle, half cyborg. Indian Turtle works as Dave's bodyguard to this day.

## Abilities

Being a cyborg, the Indian Turtle was not only trained in the art of the Solar Anus by Anus Ron himself, it also possesses high defense due to its robotic nature, and has unnatural strength. When provoked, it makes for a considerably powerful foe.

## Trivia

The lab where the turtle was created is the same lab where Monty the Ticking Time Bomb Robot Cat and Kony Beany were created as well.
Jed Marshall

Jemima - Jed - Marshall wanted to get away from her old life and her path led her to the arms of Richard Roper. She does her best not to notice the shady deals her lover does and concentrates on looking her part.

She does miss her son, whom she left with her judgemental mother and diverts the motherly love she has to Roper's son, Danny.
Garam

Ex-slave, an escapee from a Somalian diamond mine, born in 1988 to Malaysian father (absent) and a Somalian crack whore.

## Background

Garam Akingbola was forced to work in the mines since he was 7. Having spent a decade underground, he has made many loyal friends, with whom he managed to escape his fate; known as the *Trash Pickles,* they traveled to Uganda (which was a Daveian colony by then, just like Somalia) to start anew, performing along the way. Thanks to their African genes and natural feel of rhythm, they managed to survive on the road just by staging concerts in bigger cities (and, occasionally, stealing valuables).

To this day, they remain musical vagabonds/rollerskating vandalists who travel the Ugandan colony to provide entertainment to the people.

## Trivia

* The *Trash Pickles* carry their guns around even during performances. Thanks to this habit, they save a lot of funds on security.
* They are the only major band/gang in the Colonies that is not related in any way, shape or form to drugs.
Shrigguh Denigguh

Shrigguh Denigguh - born 1972 in Uganda, self-proclaimed leader of an Independent African State of Djibouti.

## Backgroud

An Ugandan bootblack who decided to join local politics at the age of 17, and quickly gained popularity. By the age of 20, he was the head of a major political party - the Freedom Party of Uganda, which, despite first successes, has completely lost the elections. Shrigguh, having given up on democracy, took the most loyal of his followers with him in search of a small African land to take over. Denigguh, raiding one small village after the other, managed to recruit squadrons of child soldiers. With his newly formed force, Shrigguh was easily able to establish full control in the State of Djibouti (east coast of Africa), where he is titled *President.*

## Trivia

* *HE* by Fagson Elnojewski and Jeremy Hogson, is the only document that depicts life in Djibouti. Shrigguh's regime denies entry to any foreigners after an unfortunate incident involving Jeremy Hogson in Shrigguh's Presidential Mansion.
Crack Crisis of '86

## 1970-1980

Since Dave Corp. started the crack production in 1970, a huge percent of population was addicted to it by the end of the next decade. However, due to its popularity more and more people started synthesizing their own crack, as the ingredients could be replaced with relative ease without losing much chemical potential. Not only did it decrease Dave Corp. profits by a considerable amount, the ingredients for the mixtures became much more harder to come by. Crack prices began rapidly rising, and since Dave Corp. could not sell the remaining substance it had, major budgets cuts had to be taken - Indian Dave himself was forced to let go of his personal favourite midget stripper by the end of 1980.

## March 1986

The crisis has reached its peak on 27th of March, 1986. Dave Corp. had very little crack left for Indian Dave's personal use - other than that, there wasn't a single whiff of crack in the whole country. The streets of every city were littered with spasming junkie bodies, begging for a sniff or two.

Although crack withdrawal causes no harm to the body, the mind suffers greatly. The whole country was paralyzed - there was no one to work in water plants, no one to supply electricity, no one to regulate traffic.

There was no hope left, since everything that could be used to make crack (including goat blood, toenail dust and even dried cabbage) was long gone.

Thankfully, Anus Ron with slightly hungover Indian Dave managed to find the solution. They needed a resource that India had plenty to make crack - and that resource was human waste. Anus took a plastic bag and went into the streets to gather the material needed. Before dusk, the first batch of new formula crack was made.

India was saved. By the end of March, most dealers have been supplied with new batches straight from Dave Corp. The only drawback was that the price had to stay low, to prevent such a situation from ever occurring again. As a result, Dave Corp. made less profit on average than before, but remained the last remaining manufacturer, as homemade crack stopped being profitable enough.

It is unclear whether or not human shit is still used in the recipe. Dave Corp. refused to comment on the subject.
Salamander Corps

A private army also acting as troops for hire, funded by Salamander Man in 2005.

## Background

Salamander Man, ever envious of Indian Dave's success, tried to replicate his achievements by taking similar steps as his former business partner. Having amassed enough funds from crack-related operations in Zanzibar, he started his own private force similar to CSF; while not even remotely close to Curry Strike Force in numbers, Salamander Corps (counting 12 000 agents) have an advantage when it comes to training and specialized gear. Another of SC's considerable strengths is the tactical genius of its first-in-command, Commander Phoneme.

Each member has to undergo a mandatory training in the Zanzibar wilds (which usually lasts up to 6 months), even if the subject has previous military experience.

Standard equipment includes patterned body armor, metal flute (doubling as a bashing weapon), 2 tear gas grenades, and state-of-the-art *AS-419* (nicknamed *Flutegun,* for its barrel resembles a flute).

Every agent is thoroughly trained in the use of flutes, which are often used for psychological warfare and for boosting morale of other SC troops.

In addition to ground forces, SC possesses its own fleet of 12 submarines and a battalion of 140 armored vehicles.

## Trivia

* *AS-419* is often ridiculed for its shape, even though it is a formidable weapon. Many experts speculate that it is a heavily modified AK rifle fitted with a masterfully designed flute barrel which greatly improves the velocity of the bullet, as well as maximum range.
Dick Pole

Born in 1964, **Dick Pole** is the most reputable warrior in the art of dual kukri wielding, and Johnny Dickshot's biggest rival.

## Background

Dick Pole had been trained in the art of dual wielding since he was 12 years old, due to his family being closely related to the Ghaziben tribe and its traditions, initially using kitchen knives. However, he was allowed to pick his own weapons as soon as he became 18. Those would be his now legendary pair of traditional Nepalese kukris.

There's no doubt that he's holding a grudge against Johnny Dickshot. Ever since his first encounter with him back in July 2007, both have had an intense rivalry with no intentions of reconciling. They would often insult each other in the middle of their duels about each other's fighting techniques (since he prefers melee attacks over firepower), as well as the size of their manhood. So far all their matches have ended in a draw.

Up to this day, Dick is still wielding his Nepalese kukris, and he's just as hellbent on taking down Johnny as ever.

## Trivia

* Dick Pole possesses unusual reflexes and is easily able to deflect or cut through a speeding bullet, which is his most valued defense against Johnny's dickshotters.
* Dick Pole can not only swing his kukris, but also throw them with deadly precision (which often leaves him vulnerable, since he cannot deflect incoming bullets without his weapon in hand).
Borg

Borg - born in 19XX in Kenya, allegedly a brother to Fagson Elnojewski.

## Background

According to urban legends, Borg was such a hideous child that he was abandoned by his parents at the age of three. It is unclear how he managed to survive in the wilds of Kenya - some claim he was a predator by nature, others speculate that it was his disgusting visage that drove any danger away. What's important, however, is that Borg survived. It has been reported that Borg can understand any spoken language, yet he never speaks for himself. A single exception has been noted so far - Jeremy Hogson once said that Borg spoke to him in his dreams, but he only repeated his nickname - Hog- over and over. Another unnerving attribute of this being (as many doubt Borg being human at all) is a mask he wears to hide his face. A smiley face on a light blue background is his trademark, a symbol of fear.

## Daveian Uprising

The information presented in this paragraph has never been confirmed. It is based on a series of leaked e-mails from the Daveian Embassy exchanged between high-ranking individuals.

Allegedly, Borg has been summoned on multiple occasions in the 1989-1990 period, namely - shortly before Dildo Market Crash of '89, and on the beginning of 1990, during the Daveian Uprising.

Indian Dave refused to comment on the subject.

First Ambassador, when asked about Borg, replied with an unclear comment about emus and nervously opened and started eating a jar of Vegemite.

Some isolated seeings of Borg by other individuals during that time period have been confirmed, and some made it into stories or legends.

The only weakness of his seems to be 80's music, which may explain Fagson's fondness for it.
Indian Dave: Homophobic Prejudices

The first installment of the Indian Dave saga.

## Plot

The movie describes in detail Dave's adjustment to life in India, from being an object of godly worship in the 17th century, to the founding act of Dave Corp. in 1970. All goes well, until 26th of April 1972. During a press conference, a portal to an alternate future dimension opens and an enchanted turban falls out of it, along with Indian Turtle.
Dave, clueless what to do with the bizarre creature and the turban, sets out on a journey to find knowledge necessary to open the portal again and return the items to their rightful owner.

## Trivia

* The original script included alternate future dimension Dave meeting with the original Dave to retrieve the Holy Turban of Power, but it was scrapped.
* Even though the movie estimates Dave's birth to happen around 17th century, the actual date has never been confirmed. Dave, when asked about the circumstances of the first decades of his life, replies that he cannot remember them and his memory only goes back to early 1700s.
* It is the only Fagson Elnojewski movie that has been remade.
Riley Ousley

Salamander Man's associate/adopted daughter, hell-bent on taking down Curry Strike Force and, by extension, Dave himself.

## Background

Riley Ousley, along with her sister Samantha and their parents, who, as of August 2007 were on family vacation in India and were staying in a hotel apartment near the Indian-Daveian border, have been unfortunate enough to remain in their rooms the day CSF stormed the building in search for Salamander Man's agents.

## The Hotel Shooting

Based on a "trusted source of information", a group of Salamander Man's armed associates were to be hiding in the same apartment the Ousley family was occupying. The Curry Strike Force team kicked down the door and instinctively gunned down everyone in sight, realizing their mistake too late; Samantha Ousley and her parents died on the spot, Riley was lucky enough to survive the shooting.

The incident went viral extremely quickly - international press was all over CSF's fatal mistake, and as a result Dave Corp. stocks took a hit as well. Because of the worldwide backlash, Indian Dave decided to reform CSF's methods of operations and enforced new rules, in addition to introducing non-lethal weapons to the assault squads' arsenal.

## Post-2007

Riley spent the rest of the year in a hospital getting (unprofessionally) treated, until a request to transfer her to a private clinic came through from an anonymous individual. Said unknown person later turned out to be Salamander Man himself, who spent a considerable amount of money to get Riley to his private hospital in a hidden location in Zanzibar, with hopes of recruiting her for his cause.

Thanks to Riley's burning hatred towards CSF, Salamander had no trouble convincing her to join Salamander Corps.

Being one of the most effective and ruthless agents of SC, Salamander Man has rewarded her efforts with the legendary weapon obtained from the Anus Warrior Clan, the Aminenus gloves, which remain her weapons of choice to this day.

## Trivia

* Top officials at the Daveian Embassy speculate that the fake intel was planted by a Salamander Corps spy to divert CSF's attention from other regions of operations.
* As of 2009, Riley Ousley is officially and legally Salamander Man's adopted daughter; it is unknown whether this is the effect of Salamander's pity for the orphan, or his attempt to spite Indian Dave.
Salamander Mancave

Also known as The Reptile's Den, the Salamander Mancave is a popular tourist destination in Daveia.

## Background

The Mancave, discovered in 2010 by CSF patrol, lies in on the slope of Goat Mountain and served as Salamander Man's secret hideout. It was most likely abandoned by Salamander Man when he fled to Zanzibar sometime in the 90's.

Ever since its discovery, the cave has been kept in its original state - not a single item has been moved. In addition to naturally occurring crackaline crystals, the walls are decorated with valuable limited edition Indian Dave pinup posters.
The shrine in the center of the cave was left untouched, as well. Pink candles surrounding a heart-shaped locket with Indian Dave's picture along with a fistful of his hair is the key element of the exhibition.

The Den also houses Salamander's bed, some supplies and a couple of skeletal remains (presumably goats').

## Trivia

* *Salamander Mancave* attracts around 700 000 visitors every year.
* The entrance was originally covered by an enormous pile of emptied chinese take-out containers.
INDIAN DAVE

*INDIAN DAVE*, commonly referred to *INDIAN DAVE (2015)*, is a movie by Jeremy Hogson. It is an unsuccessful reboot of the Indian Dave series.

## Plot

Salamander Man, growing envious of Dave's commercial success in Daveia, manufactures an enhanced batch of crack and exports it to India. All who have consumed it in a few short days lose their minds and obey Salamander. While his influence spreads at an alarming rate, Indian Dave has to take matters into his own hands and administer the antidote to Salamander's crack junkies - preferably in the form of bullets. Armed with just two pistols, Dave sets out to find Salamander Man...

## Reception

The reviews were more than unfavourable; the Daveian Times called the movie a disaster, and the overall ratings went even lower than for *WHO are the patriots?.*

Most of the outrage was sparked due to the fact that due to Indian Dave being unavailable at the time, his role was played by a much thinner actor who, for the sake of his own safety, decided not to reveal his name.

In addition, the plot itself was not considered very good, or even consistent.

## Trivia

* INDIAN DAVE is considered the worst movie in Daviean history.
* Despite being the worst received entry critically, it has since amassed a cult following.
A Beautiful Mind

Movie directed by Fagson Elnojewski, released early 2015.

## Plot

*A beautiful Mind* answers the ever-puzzling question: what would happen if Albert Einstein experienced a nervous

breakdown and dedicated his life to crime?

The movie begins in 1940, with Albert walking down the street of Princeton in New Jersey, where he encounters a person of African-American descent. The dark-skin's hostility, in addition to Einstein's lack of familiarity and experiences regarding that particular race, lead him to a psychological breakdown in mere seconds. Albert beats the individual to death with his newfound strength and quickly flees the scene.

As the time goes, Albert encounters more and more of said creatures; it seems to him the United States are not the paradise he thought they were. He decides to rid the country of African-American cancer by any means necessary.

## Trivia

* It is the only Gautam Studio of India movie to feature full CGI model as the main character.
* The movie is as much an art form, as it is an experiment - only the first few minutes use classic camera shots, the rest of the action is experienced from the first-person perspective.
HE

A documentary by Fagson Elnojewski and Jeremy Hogson, released late 2014.

## Plot

In this documentary the main focus is put on the living conditions in the African state of Djibouti, ruled by self-proclaimed president Shrigguh DeNigguh.

Shrigguh's regime does not take kindly to outsiders. Fagson and Jeremy risk their lives and testicles to capture the daily life in the heavily militarized country.

## Trivia

* The document was banned from viewing in many western countries due to high amounts of violence and the portrayal of child soldiers.
* DVD edition also includes *Djiboutian Delights with Ainsley Harriott: Cook Like Your Life Depends On It!*
Goat Mountain

The mountain on which Indian Dave came to life.

## Indian Dave's birth

A popular folk legend tells that Indian Dave came to be in a small shack on the peak of this mountain, on the 25th of January of a year unknown. As the legend goes:

> (...) The day he (Indian Dave) came to life, it rained semen and goats sang a song of a great leader that was coming. Everyone in a close proximity to the mountain suddenly grew a mustache and got fat.
>
> And thus Indian Dave was born.
>
>

The semen rain has never been confirmed, but the goat song is believed to be completely true to have happened.

## Goat Worship Cult

In addition to many tourists wanting to visit Dave's birthplace, the Goat Mountain is also a shrine to the Goat Worship Cult, since the Mountain and surrounding areas have an unnaturally high goat population. The cultists leave little evidence of their presence, save for an occasional goat carcass and ashes of great bonfires.

## Trivia

* The Goat Mountain has been classified as a national park by the Daveian Wildlife Preservation Society, and thus falls under its protection.
* It is also the only place in Daveia where one may encounter albino wiggers.
Papa Luigi

## Overview

Papa Luigi (born circa 1930) is an immortal chef brought from the depths of Hell to please Indian Dave's appetite and to provide him with his finest food service.

## Background

Being born in the depths of Hell due to a one night stand between an Italian hooker and Benito Mussolini, Papa Luigi became the best chef known to the universe due to his "Florida Trip Pizza". These pizzas have a mixture of crack, dough, tomato sauce, cheese, and meth in addition to secret spice developed in the Sixth Circle of Hell (commonly known as Russia).

## History

While Indian Dave was trying to summon his friend Lucifer (A.K.A. Shlomo Shekelberg) from Hell he accidentally dropped his pizza in the sacrifice bowl full of goat blood. The ritual summoned Papa Luigi instead, the best chef in all of the Nine Circles of Hell.

After a brief conversation with Indian Dave, Papa Luigi agreed to be his personal chef at his mansion in exchange for the finest Zimbabwean slaves he could find.

Papa Luigi, after getting enough slaves, became a mob boss - one of the most feared ones in Daveia. The Daveian police is always trying to arrest him, but his connections with Dave and other people are helping him keep his business afloat.

## Florida Trip Pizza

Named after the Florida Hobo Garden these pizzas are told to give its consumer superhuman powers alongside other 'side effects', such as assburgers or D.D.S (Deflated Dick Syndrome) among other symptoms.

   The high amount of drugs used in these pizzas made them a fan favourite in Daveia, due to more than half of the population consuming drugs on a regular basis.

Jeremy Hogson has been shown to become a complete madman shortly after consuming these pizzas, as well as taking pictures of every single one he orders, and occasionally going on hate filled mass murders against random people on the streets.
Daveian Colony of Somalia

Officially established in May 1995, a few days after Indian Dave had ordered CSF deployment.

## The Somalia Conquest

The conquest of Somalia was a result of a bet that Indian Dave made with Anus Ron during a poker night at Anus' residence. When Ron declared that he doubts Curry Strike Force's offensive capabilities, Dave called for a bet - either CSF takes over the entirety of Somalia in less than a week, or he will lay off crack for a moznth.

A direct order was delivered to Punished Dave, and the first CSF squad has been deployed to Somalia on the same night.

Needless to say, CSF has exceeded both Dave's and Anus' expectations. Complete takeover took only 5 days, and in addition to Dave winning his bet, Daveia has gained a steady source of natural resources.

## Trade and resources

Somalia's greatest natural treasures are the diamond mines operating on slave labor and a rare specimen of sea algae used for crack production. The colony is also Daveia's second biggest supply of fish for bacalhau.

## Culture

Despite Daveian influences, some somalian traditions are still allowed, such as slave ownership or beating each other to death with bare fists over every little thing. However, it is required by law for the people to celebrate National Crack Day on the same day as in Daveia, as well as Indian Dave's birthday.

The anthem has also been changed by Indian Dave himself:

## Trivia

* Somalia is Banus Bron's homeland. However, he does not mind Dave taking his country over, as he claims *'It's better when he's in charge of that shithole'*.
* Somalia is also home to the vicious butt pirates. However, since CSF now patrols the coast, their attacks have become significantly less common.
Punished 'Curry' Dave

Punished 'Curry' Dave (birth date unknown) is the leader of CSF bearing a strong resemblance to Dave.

## Background

According to the official statement published by First Ambassador of Daveia, Punished 'Curry' Dave is the result of the only successful attempt of cloning Indian Dave.

Despite that, he still suffers from accelerated aging (which may explain why he looks to be about the same age as Indian Dave) and 3 different kinds of cancer.

Ambassador Fagson refused to release Punished Dave's deployment history, but as far as the rumors go, he spent a few years in Chile and Australia.
Monkey See, Monkey Do

## Background

An international hit directed by Fagson Elnojewski, winner of 7 Oscars and 2 Golden Daves; also an acting debut of Barry Adolph the Baboon, Clyde the Orangutan the Meth Dealer and Jimmy the Heroin-Addicted Mandrill.

## Plot

Monkey See, Monkey Do tells the story of the Primates after the Vietnam War ended. Barry Adolph the Baboon, plagued not as much by war terrors as by boredom, decides he needs a little adrenaline in his life again, and convinces Clyde the Orangutan the Meth Dealer to start dealing meth in Los Angeles.

A few months later Barry finds Jimmy on the streets, nearly dying from heroin overdose. Barry decides to involve him in the operation, as he sees great potential in the mandrill.

All goes well, until the primates' business gets big and they get noticed by rival gangs. In an unfortunate series of events, Barry gets himself into the hands of the competition, and now Clyde and Jimmy have to bust him out.

## Trivia

* The movie has been greatly appreciated for special effects (although no special effects were used, as claims Fagson Elnojewski - *'All the blood and gore is real, we just killed a few junkies'*) and the primates' acting skills.
* Jimmy spent all his paycheck from the movie on heroin and was found in a drug-induced coma in his apartment a week after the premiere.
Monty the Ticking Time Bomb Robot Cat

A robot-cat that is also a bomb.

## Creation

Monty was created in the same lab as Indian Turtle, although at a much later date. Exactly 2 years after Turtle escaped from D.I.C.K. R&D laboratory, the chief researcher was sitting in his office snorting crack. The department was in trouble - no considerable progress has been made in the field of crack-enhanced animals since Indian Turtle. Shutdown was imminent, unless he could come up with one last brilliant idea.

The chief researcher looked at his wall. It was plastered with diplomas and degrees. *How much use are they now*, he thought to himself. He spent 3 years getting an applied robotics degree, wasted 2 years on time bomb making courses, and why the hell did he even go for that PhD in cat studies?

Suddenly, it hit him, and it hit hard.

He once saw a documentary on suicide bombers. *Why not perform this idea on animals*, he thought to himself. *But make them robots - so even if they blow up, we can put them back together!*

He wasted no time. The very same day, the blueprints were ready and waiting on Dave's desk. Indian liked the idea so much, the plans were approved in record time (15 minutes and a sniff of crack).

## Abilities

Due to being a machine, Monty only needs an occasional sniff of crack to sustain itself. It is extremely resistant to physical trauma, can shoot lasers out of its eyes, has a great sense of smell (Dave uses him to find crack in the most unlikely of places) and sight.

Monty, in just the first year after his creation, managed to stop 6 would-be Indian assassins by biting their testicles off.

No attempt to take Dave's life has been taken ever since.

## Trivia

* Monty is the only exploding robo-cat ever made. He failed to detonate when expected. The chief researcher, upon realizing his greatest work is flawed, left Dave Corp. in shame, even though Dave urged him to stay. Dave claimed that he liked 'the non-exploding aspect greatly', since Monty was supposed to explode in Indian's hands to prove its offensive capabilities.
* It is not known when Monty will explode, or if he will explode at all. The timer is encrypted and due to design flaw not even the chief researcher was able to determine how much time it has left.
* It is rumored the chief researcher abandoned his scientific career to focus on his culinary skills.
* Although Monty looks a lot like a cheetah, it is indeed a cat.
Nüclear

Also known as 'Nüklear', a Fagson Elnojewski movie.

## Plot

A spinoff of the Indian Dave series, in which Dave reconstructs Adolf Hitler (although he forgets one of his legs) in the Dave Corp. labs. He then enlists Hitler's help in order to find and bring Salamander Man to justice. They both travel to Zanzibar where Salamander is supposedly hiding.
However, their chase after the elusive individual brings them all the way back to Hitler's homeland, Austria, where Salamander has been testing nuclear fusion using crack and bacalhau. Dave suspects Salamander Man may be looking for new ways to develop nuclear weapons en masse, using nothing but crack. At this point, stopping him becomes even more important...

## Trivia

* Hitler's role has won his actor, Arturo of Auschwitz, two Anuses (Daveia's equivalents of Oscars) at the Autistic Hog Movie Awards of 2015 for the most charming movie character of the year, taking the title from last year's favourite, Mads Mikkelsen.
* The iconic scene where Dave and Hitler visit a junkie den in Austria has actually been filmed in Fagson's apartment.
Banus Bron

Banus Bron (born 1920, not to be confused with Anus Ron) is a Somalian bartender who fought in Vietnam alongside Barry.

## Background

Banus Bron's life is well documented thanks to his autobiography, *Fucking Up Chinks In The Jungle - The Story Of My Life.*

Born in 1920 in a small Somalian village, he was still a child when his birthplace was raided by Ugandian soldiers. The invaders killed everyone and burned the village, although Banus has miraculously survived. He spent the next few years as a self-taught nomad, hunting for food, and, eventually, for people.

## Vietnam War

Banus abandoned his manhunting career in 1940, when he turned 20. By then, he has amassed enough funds to migrate to America.

In the United States, he took a bartending job, first in a small bar in Chicago, then in his own enterprise. Banus Bron finally had a calm, stable life - until 1969's Vietnam conflict.

Since Banus needed to apply to the US Army to migrate, he was among the first soldiers fighting in the *Battle of Hamburger Hill.* After receiving a grave injury, Banus swore to end the life of every Vietnamese he could find. Thanks to Clyde the Orangutan the Field Medic (later known as: Clyde the Orangutan the Meth Dealer), he recovered and was later moved to another squad, in which he served alongside both Clyde the Orangutan and Barry Adolph the Baboon.

Banus' specialty was the Molotov Cocktail. His former squadmates spoke of Bron as 'unnecessarily cruel' and 'a beast in human skin', due to his fighting techniques and use of outlawed weapons. The only ones who had no objection against Banus' methods were Barry and Clyde, who claimed they were 'too busy getting high on their own feces to ever give a shit about what Banus does'.

Banus Bron in his autobiography claims that he was almost certain the other squadmates were playing a joke on him whenever his mention of the presence of two primates in their ranks was met with disbelief and hearty laughs. This suggests that Banus was the only one able to see through Barry's and Clyde's bluffs.

Near the end of the war, Banus got separated from his team. Lost in the jungle, he continued to slaughter every native he encountered, long until after the war ended. Considered MIA, he resurfaced in India years later, where he opened another bar.

## Daveian Uprising

Banus also took part in the Daveian Uprising, which took place shortly after Dildo Market Crash of '89.

In February 1990, Banus was already an employee (through means unknown) of Indian Dave, and third-in-command of CSF. Only because of his excellent fighting skills and tactical prowess Curry Strike Force was able to secure the newly formed borders so quickly.

In the present day, Bron, despite being an active member of CSF, still tends to his bar in Mumbai.