Wizard 47

**Chapter 47**

Zedd angsts about his inability to do anything useful, and we get a replay of the scene where Richard tried to prove his identity, only from Zedd's point of view. Zedd was sad to see “Rahl” holding the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo, and horrified when “Rahl” made the sword turn white. There is reference to Ye Prophecies again, and...

*“The veil, the prophecies called it, the veil between the world of life and the underworld. If the veil was torn by the magic of Orden, through an agent, the prophecies foretold, only the one who had turned the Sword of Truth white could restore it. Unless he was able to do so, the underworld would be loosed on the world of the living.”*

Apparently the word “agent” is very Significant, and means that Rahl is working for someone else. It also means that, *“even if Rahl failed, and was killed, the magic of Orden would still tear the veil.”* I'm not sure how that works, but hey, the book's almost over so I'm not going to question it.

About this time Our Heroes sense danger. Three-quarters of a quad appears, lead by Denim Nascar, and with Chase tied up and bloodied. Why they kept him alive I don't know, given that he *“killed five of [Denim's] best men,”* but there you go.

Zedd tries to paralyze them, but his magic is reflected by an underworld spell and he ends up paralyzed. Kahlan tries to mindrape Denim, but her power fails. Denim breaks her arm and his boys toss her around for a bit while Denim practices his Evil Laugh. The quad (trio?) strips Kahlan and starts sexually molesting her, \~/ so tied-up Chase rams into a guy and knocks him down, then breaks his neck with his thighs. So, now Chase is Bruce Lee, I guess. Denim kicks him unconscious. Again, why doesn't he just kill him? \~/ This man killed five of his eight men, then killed another while beaten, bloodied, and tied up! Stick a knife in him, you moron!

Brophy the wolf leaps out of nowhere and starts mauling Denim, but Denim stabs him to death with a knife. Well, that was pointless. Seriously, what was the purpose of Brophy's existence? In what way did he advance the plot?

The quad – now down to a duo – is ready to get back to the rapin', but Kahlan taunts Denim, saying he's not man enough to rape her himself, calling him a bitch and so forth. Amazingly, this works, and he says he *will* rape her himself. Good one there, Kahlan; you really showed him. Kahlan taunts Denim about Richard, saying he's not important enough for Rahl to tell him anything, so he explains what he knows about Richard. He says that Richard was taken by a Dominatrix, and indicates that he's probably dead by now.

Kahlan *“let[s] out an unearthly scream,”* and Zedd is terrified by what she's doing. Kahlan continues to scream and neither Denim nor the Duo thinks to do anything like whack her on the head or tie her up, despite the fact that her screams are making pebbles bounce around and *darkening the very sky!* \~/ According to Zedd, Kahlan *“should not be able to do this.”* What she's doing is *“joining the Confessor's magic, the additive, the love, with its counterpart from the underworld, the subtractive, the hate.”* Which, yeah, makes no sense, but we're just going to go with it. \~/

There's lightning, and darkness, and Kahlan is glowing, and there's shafts of violet light from the ground, and it's generally all SFX-y. Kahlan shoots a bolt of blue light at Zedd, breaking the paralysis spell. Zedd frees Chase, who is inexplicably conscious. Zedd takes a moment to infodump to Chase about what Kahlan is doing. It's called the Con Dar, which apparently means Blood Rage, and Kahlan shouldn't be able to do it.

Yes, it's another the-heroine-shouldn't-be-able-to-do-this-but-she-just-does-because-she's-speshul. Kahlan is now officially a Sue, or at least a Half-Sue. \~/\~/

Infodump. The Con Dar can only be taught by *“her real mother,”* but Kahlan was adopted, remember? Only the strongest Confessors have ever been able to use it. It can only be invoked on behalf of another; in this case, Kahlan invokes in on behalf of Richard, to take vengeance for his murder. Kahlan is going to hunt down Rahl and use her power on him, which shouldn't work because of Plot Armor. However, the Con Dar (like most Sue powers) doesn't always obey the normal restrictions, so who knows? In any event, Kahlan doesn't care and will die in the attempt if necessary, and will kill anyone who tries to stop her, including Zedd and Chase.

Anyway. The duo got blown away during Kahlan's CGI extravaganza, and only one is visible. Kahlan mindrapes him from a dozen feet away, orders him to die, and he does. Denim, having been studying up on Evil Arrogance 101, informs Kahlan that she has just used up her power, and besides, he is protected by Rahl's magic. Kahlan mindrapes him as well.

Chase, apparently deciding to be the voice of logic, points out that Mindrapists can't use their power at a distance, and also can't use it in rapid sequence like that. Zedd's explanation is *“She's turning into a Sue!”*...er, no. That would be my explanation. Zedd's explanation is *“She is in the Con Dar.”* \~/

Kahlan orders Zedd to fix her broken arm, which he does. She then interrogates Denim Nascar, and we learn the lovely fact that he has molested between 80 and 120 children. \~/ Kahlan sadistically cuts off his testicles and makes him eat them, because she's the heroine, and mercy equals weakness, and never a clean death when you can cause pain, I guess. \~/\~/

Denim confirms what he told her about Richard, adding that he was the mate of a Dominatrix. Zedd is sad. He decides he knows why “Rahl” (really Richard) didn't kill him when he had the chance: *“he wanted to see Zedd suffer first. That was the way of a Rahl.”*

Take note of that; it will be ironic later.

Kahlan crushes Denim's skull with his own mace. Exit one pederast. She then demands a bowl of *“poison berries from a bloodthroat bush,”* smashes them up, and paints lightning bolts on her forehead and cheeks with the resulting goo. She then marches down the road, informing Zedd and Chase that they may follow her as long as they don't hold her up.

Zedd asks what a Dominatrix is, so Zedd explains, adding thatthey are not a danger to Chase because he has no magic. I'm pretty sure Denna used her +5 Riding Crop of Pain to murder Queen Milena, which makes Zedd either wrong or a liar. \~/ Judging by past experience, I'm going with “liar.”

Zedd also mentions that *“A Confessor's magic is different from any other. The touch of a Confessor is death to a [Dominatrix],”* although I'm not sure why that should be the case. It's already been established that Dominatrices can feel a twisted kind of affection, and the ability to capture another's magic (how-the-hell-ever they acquire that particular talent) shouldn't necessarily conflict with mindraping. So this makes no sense. \~/

So Zedd and Chase chase after (ha!) Kahlan, and encounter the fourth member of the quad/trio/duo, who has just run himself through with his sword. This loose end tied up, they catch up and Zedd thinks about the Teflon wedding dress, which *“flowed and*  *flapped behind [Kahlan] like a flame in the wind. Zedd had always thought Confessors looked beautiful in their dresses, especially the white of the Mother Confessor.*

*“But now he saw it for what it really was. Battle armor.”*

As opposed to...peace armor? \~/ And in what way is a wedding dress – one that accents all of Khalna's sexy curves, no less – any kind of armor?

And on that rather odd note, the chapter ends.

Drinks: 13

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