Setting the Gender Mood

When we have genders that shift or change, we do things to accommodate those changes. For some people, that means dressing to present as their current gender or taking on pronouns that reflect it. But let’s look at some more  unconventional ways to “set” the gender mood for ourselves.

## HOW TO SET THE MOOD

♥ Separate genders into theme songs:

* Make a playlist on your phone or even several playlists.
* Choose a song to be your Gender Song for the day.
* Play your Gender Song while you try out the other things on this list.
* You can choose your Gender Song to be your alarm tone the night before, and then it can really help you start your day in a certain gender mindset.

♥ Change decor to reflect gender:

* String up some colored lights using colors that match your gender.
* Organize your desktop with things that create euphoria.
* Paint something that expresses your gender and then hang it up.
* Rearrange your belongings by color, with colors that match your gender being more prominent.
* Decorate with less obvious things like plants or figurines that have a sort of gender feel to them.

♥ Incorporate gender with spirituality:

* Make a gender altar dedicated to your gender.
* Find spells or prayers that fit how you feel or what you want for your gender.
* Ask a tarot deck some gender-related questions and pull a single card to keep in your mind for the day.
* Use astral projection to view your ideal body.

♥ Make a gender to-do list:

* Write up some goals that are tied to your gender.
* Incorporate clothes, makeup, hairstyles, vocal changes, etc.
* Try coming up with ways to be more masculine, feminine, or neutral even if it’s just in how you walk or what hobbies you engage in.

♥ Engage in sensory input:

* Play with sights, sounds, tastes, etc.
* Have a soft gender? Try keeping soft things nearby, like blankets.
* Have an animalistic gender? Try roleplay (Yes, really.)

♥ Practice your own pronouns:

* Write down some practice sentences using your name and different pronouns.
* Say your pronouns out loud as if you’re someone else talking about you.
* Use the Pronoun Dressing Room website to try out new pronouns.

♥ Genderize your social media\*:

* Set your status to something that reflects how you feel.
* Change the pronouns in your bio.
* Change your profile picture or icon.
* Change your profile header or banner.
* Live-post about your gendered feelings.

♥ Color coordinate:\*

* Paint your nails different colors to match your gender.
* Wear clothes with a certain color palette.
* Try changing something subtle like your shoelaces.

♥ Watch media that resonates with you:

* Imagine yourself as a specific character and engage in their media.
* Watch or rewatch moments that feel like you were there.
* Change your social media profile pics to this character or post about the character (You can easily pass this off as just fandom posting.)

♥ Play dress-up with yourself\*:

* Try out new clothes and check yourself out in the mirror.
* Take selfies and see what looks best.
* Put on several types of outfits and remember which ones you really liked.
* Organize your clothes by gender if you have more than one.

♥ Roleplay with friends:

* Start a DM with a friend or two and have them call you by a certain name or pronouns.
* Go back to your chosen piece of media and pretend to be a character who has your gender, name, or pronouns.
* Roleplay as an animal if you’d like.

\*Don’t do anything that might out you to people who don’t accept your identity. Keep things subtle and keep yourself safe. You can try out some of the less conspicuous ideas listed above, such as making yourself a playlist or watching certain types of media. You can even try to make yourself a private Twitter or Tumblr account if you know you won’t be discovered. The other things can be done away from home and with friends if you know you can do it safely.

♥ Having trouble figuring out what colors to use? Try out the color palettes listed below to tie them to different feelings of gender. A good go-to is to use colors from a specific pride flag to represent a gender. These are just based on vibes that I feel about these genders, but you can do anything you’d like with them!

* Nonbinary - yellow, white, purples, black, gray, orange
* Genderless - dark colors, gray, black, greens
* Multigender - one color for each gender, a rainbow, or “blended” colors (such as teal or magenta)
* Demigender - light grays, pastels, white, desaturated colors
* Pangender - soft pastels, yellows, white, soft purple, soft orange or red, occasionally black
* Genderfluid - smooth color gradients, purple, magenta, teal, white
* Neutral - greens, yellows, white, soft purples, grays
* Androgynous - purples, or gradients between blue and pink, colors that combine blue and pink such as indigo or lavender, white
* Genderqueer - purples, lavender, soft greens, yellow, white
* Maverique - yellow, red, orange, white, earthy tones
* Aphorian (abinary) - yellow, orange, white, pale green, red
* Outherine - warm tones, especially orange and brown, yellow, reds, soft greens, dark gray
* Xenogender - colors that represent an aesthetic you relate to, soft blues, purples, or reds, colors that remind you of space
* Man - blue, indigo, red, brown, dark green, a number of cool colors (Note that yes, these are a bit conformant.)
* Woman - pink, lavender, orange, yellow, pale green, a number of warm colors (These are also a bit conformant.)