Twinkle

(Scene: Monopoly Stadium. The camera pans across the arena before stopping at the commentator booth)

Kyle: Hello folks and welcome to this year's annual Monopoly Tournament! Sponsored by the Illuminati. What do you think about the matter, Regan?

Regan: This year's tournament is gonna be the biggest yet with Monopolis' very own newcomer soon-to-be-champ SpongeBob SquarePants! He is sure to win, Kyle. Who's your favourite?

Kyle: I'm not really the one for favourites but Brittany Ships wins every year so I'll be on her side.

Regan: Before the first match, SpongeBob V. Prof. Plum, a special speech from Mr. Monopoly! (crowd cheers as the camera turns to Mr. Monopoly's special seat next to Patrick and Squidward)

Mr. Monopoly: Enjoy the match! (more cheers)

Patrick: Wow Polly, what a speech!

Squidward: It was literally three words!

Mr. Monopoly: Well, I'm not one for speeches.

Squidward: Well I for one sure am.

Colonel Mustard: Hey Jeff! Want some snacks?

Mr. Monopoly: No thanks. Say, I can't believe you dropped out of the competition at last minute.

Colonel Mustard: Well Plummy thinks he can do better so I signed him up. Go Plum!

Prof. Plum: (from arena) Shut up you imbecile! (Geoff rushes up to the four dressed up as someone else selling hot dogs)

Geoff: Hot Dogs! Hot Dogs! Come get your Hot Dogs!

Squidward: 20 pounds for a hot dog?

Geoff: You're also paying for this stand I'm hiring.

Patrick: Oh, I'll have fo- Wait a second! I know who you are!

Geoff: Gulp.

Patrick: You're Donald Trump!

Mr. Monopoly: No, he is. (points to Donald Trump who is sitting in the front row)

Geoff: So, do you want one or not?

Patrick: Yes please!

Geoff: So you want one?

Patrick: YES!

Geoff: You sure?

Patrick: HELL YEAH!

Geoff: I know, I'll make a deal. A jumbo hot dog for the price of a regular one. Sound good?

Patrick: OH SWEET MAMA!

Geoff: Follow me then! (he leads Patrick outside of the stadium then scene cuts to Geoff's lab) OK, Patricia. If you would strap yourself in here. (he puts Patrick in a cannon)

Patrick: Why do I have to be in here?

Geoff: So we can fire the (CENSORED) straight at your mouth.

Patrick: I thought I was having a hot dog.

Geoff: You are. This one's just female.

Patrick: I LOVE WOMEN!

Geoff: Oh, you will. (rips off his mask and costume)

Patrick: I knew it! It was you all along, Donald Trump!

Geoff: (facepalm) No, I'm Geoff. From the barbie at the park last episode, remember?

Patrick: (pointing at Geoff) Illuminati confirmed!

Geoff: Good thing morons like you don't speak my language.

Patrick: Am I still going to get a hot dog.

Geoff: Oh of course not. Since you're a star I thought I should put you back where I belong.

Patrick: Not at my parent's house! They despised me greatly that they despised me.

Geoff: You mean disposed.

Patrick: No, despised.

Geoff: Let's just put it this way. (to the tune of ABBA's Dancing Queen)

*You're a star.*

*You should shine.*

*Brightly way up in the sky...*

*And you're friends.*

*Soon you will join.*

*The twinkling star. Ooo-ooh.*

So, yeah. Thank you, come again! (he presses a button which launches Patrick up into space)

Patrick: (offscreen) (Wilhelm scream)

Geoff: Now to get the rest. (evil laugh as the scene cuts to a planet far away. Patrick laying
face first on the floor struggling for breath. Two people in space suits approach him)

Person #1: I told you stars are pink. (the other one hands over twenty pounds and he touches Patrick)

Person #2: And I told you stars aren't hot. (#1 gives the twenty pounds back and they laugh)

Patrick: (faintly) Finland...

Person #1: Oh, he's not a star: he can talk! (he is giving the note back)

Patrick: (faintly) Wumbo save Patrick, the noble and victorious Patrick. Everyone loves Patrick. Wumbo save thee.

Person #1: (whilst Patrick is faintly speaking) I just can't make out the accent. It seems so familliar but I can't put my finger on it.

Person #2: Yeah, nor can I! He looks like an alien but- a human! He's a human! Get a air helmet, Comet!

Comet: (runs into a wardrobe and brings out a air helmet and puts it over Patrick's head) There, that's better.

Patrick: Guys, I need to get back to Monopolis! Donald Trump put me in a cannon and fired me up here! We need a cannon to get me down, and a bucket of water! (the spacemen laugh)  I'm serious! I need to get home!

Comet: This is home! You fell from the sky and was born in this planet we call (motorbike engine sfx).

Patrick: No, I want to go- Woah. (a shadow covers Patrick's face and Joe enters)

Joe: Greetings, I am Joe King. Do not laugh at the starfish 'cos he is truthful. I see all and know all.

Patrick: Then what's nine plus- (Joe interupts)

Joe: Let's make a deal, Patrick. If you can beat me at a monster battle in an hour, I will send you home. But if I win, you'll be stuck here until you can beat me. OK? Good!