Blark Darson

**Blark Darson** is a Farm Games media personality, former Recruiter, coach and renowned magician. He was born in Brooklyn, New York in 1972 to a Jewish man from somewhere in Europe named Lebstein Darson, and an unknown mother. Lebstein loved Farm Games, and would watch it and hoot all night long, teaching Blark the ropes of Farm Games. As a boy, Blark loved the Farm Games and magic more than anything, as he would practice magic tricks like biting other kids and killing snails, and would play retard hockey with the kids in the neighborhood. He ended up pursuing a career in magic, performing tricks like pickpocketing and punching strangers, but his bit ultimately failed when he was 25 after he threw bull testicles and horse blood on a nine year old boy at his birthday party.

After his magic career went to the shitter, he decided to do the only other thing he knew; Farm Games. He was never a good player due to his stumpy legs and attitude, but he knew the Farm Games inside and out and was very sexist, so he ended up scoring himself a job as the nut cleaner for the Albany Rattlers in 1999, wherein he would clean the spunk and nut off the locker room and box suite floors at the Snake Pit once the boys were done with it. Everyone loved Blark because he loved cleaning jizz so much, he loved the smell, so everybody started calling him "Big Cum" around the place. Blark's notoriety grew in the organization due to his hard work and quick thinking, and one day after cleaning up stinky loads, he finished drawing up plays on the chalk board in the locker room that had been left there by the coaching staff, like in Good Will Hunting. The coaching staff discovered this and were like "Is this Big Cum? Did the spum boy do this?". They wanted to know the truth, so Blark was asked and he revealed he knew everything about Farm Games in a scene where he like said all the stats really fast like Mark Zuckerberg revealing himself to be a Farm Games genius. He was swiftly hired as a Recruiter for the Rattlers in 2001.

Darson served as a recruiter from 2001 until 2009, and was the most successful door-to-door recruiter, as he would get suburban parents to enroll their teenage sons into the Junior Farm Games at rates previously unseen, raking in millions of dollars for the Farm Games organization. He became one of the most important Recruiters, being known at Reapings as "The Hawk", as he could always spot the best prey. Players knew to always try and impress Blark at Reapings, be it through hot steamy iceplay or sexual favours such as rim job and blow job. As such, he got many rimmers and blowers, and claims to have busted a nut at least 450 times in direct relation to his work. He left the Rattlers organization in 2007, after receiving a better offer for more cold hard cashola from the St. John's Mariners. His recruiting talents scored them hard boiled studs like Jackson Stallion, Lupin Doughry and Ivan Chinaski.

Blark briefly coached the Brandon Jacks for 7 months in 2010, but was fired because he would constantly zone out during games and forget to coach. He was later hired by the Baltimore Butchers in 2011, and managed to keep his job until 2013. After losing the job due to his attitude, he decided to perform the greatest magic trick he has ever done, when he assaulted a prostitute in Baltimore and made the charges disappear thanks to a trick called "networking" with the right people at the Farm Games Network. He was then given a job as a Farm Games Analyst, and in 2015 he replaced Pete Larsgaard as one of the hosts of The Beef Stove, alongside Bonbon Cherrise until 2018, and Gerrard Spartan currently. Currently, Darson is the longest sitting host of the show, as he has been on for six years. In his time he has become very well known and is considered one of the best hosts the show has ever had thanks to his riveting takes, liberal use of slurs and constant screeds about unconfirmed rumors regarding players and organizations. Darson has accused several players of having done gay, with a particularly harsh campaign against Brick Bronson of the Albany Rattlers, whom Darson says scorned him by not inviting him to an unspecified Gala event in 2016 and instead taking his wife and teammates. Darson has coordinated harassment campaigns against several people throughout his career, has doxxed numerous fans and team staff, and has even released revenge porn of Jon Loeppky twice. He is considered a master troll.