Episode 68: World Wide Chain

**Video:**
1:00:14

**Video:**
*unknown*

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

Because of one link of chain theory our global supply chain has broken down. We will not be able to get our kids gifts this Christmas. But what if we could streamline the chain into something more powerful? An arrow flies through the air at such great speed it can go straight through a human beings body. So why not something like that instead of chain? Okay

## Idea Details

* Idea: World Wide Chain, World Wide Arrow
* Creator of idea: Drew
* Purpose of idea: Well, Josiah, I wanted to talk to you about something. It's gonna be comin' up pretty soon. And I know you're gonna say it's early, cause it's October. (Josiah: "Halloween.") But there's a War on Christmas. (Josiah: "Halloween.") And we need to talk about the War on Christmas earlier this year because there is a supply chain crisis. (Josiah: "I've heard of this before, 'the War on Christmas.' What does that mean?") Well, usually, when we talk about the War on Christmas, we usually mean, like, oh, you have to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, nowadays. Or Merry Xmas instead of Merry Christmas. But in this context, we're talking about the fact that, because of a global supply chain crisis, we will not be able to get the different kinds of gifts that we wanna buy for our loved ones for Christmas. So it's a different kind of War on Christmas, but it's a War on Christmas nonethesame. And I wanted to talk about the chain, which is why we're listening to Evanescence *The Chain* right now. (Josiah: "So what do you mean, 'the chain' is Christm--? What do you -- what does any of this mean? What are you talking about? Pretend -- I know it's hard, but pretend I'm really dumb and that I don't understand.") OK, well, let's look at the supply chain. This is a little video on the supply chain crisis that's going on right now. This is from the news. And this is only gonna get worse. Part of the labor crisis. (Josiah: "Well, was there a sale? Is that why the shelves are empty? The items were --") No, it's because these ships -- because these cargo ships are stranded out in the middle of the ocean, Josiah. (Josiah: "B-- oh, Boaty McBoatface.") Boaty McBoatface. (Josiah: "So it's too expensive to send the goods to the shelves because they're using the method of skyrocket to ship it? And the -- uh.") Well, no, they're just using supply chain, Josiah. (Josiah: "Skyrocket in flight?") Yeah, but when you talk about skyrockets, when you talk about boats, when you talk about train, World Wide Train -- (Josiah: "Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight! I love lamp.") When you talk about all this stuff, it's in the context of -- (Josiah: [Doing a Ron Burgundy impression] "I'm Ron Burgundy.") Why? Goddammit, Josiah. What is the supply chain, though? And what is supply chain management? It's not just about Christmas, it's about the supply chain in itself. And is there a better way to -- (Josiah: "The thing about capitalism that I wanna just quickly say, and all the Alex Presses of the world probably fuckin' get the --") Well, quickly say it! Quickly say it! Yeah, quickly say it. (Josiah: "I just wanna say that the thing about capitalism is that every time you buy anything, it's a -- feels like Christmas. And so it's always gonna be a War on Christmas with -- as long as these people are here.") Well, that's not true. That's not true. OK? But I want to talk about, not just Christmas, I wanna talk about 'Why is this so important to you?'. Well, Josiah, we're always -- (Josiah: "Well, cause I wanna get -- I wanna go to Walmart, and my wife said that I could go and get a new Bionicle. And if I get there and they're sold out, I'm gonna start having a fuckin' meltdown in the aisles. Because I want my Bionicles! Because my wife said that I could get a Bionicle and it's my turn to spend money on myself and I wanna get a new Bionicle and I need to build it! And a boy got the la-- the boy got the last one! And that boy won't give me his Bionicle!") And I know that's upsetting to you. And that's why we need to have a better type of supply chain. We need to have, instead of a -- (Josiah: "Why is it a chain, though?? Why is it a chain?") Well that's what I'm gonna say! We're gonna move away from -- (Josiah: "You mean like Walmart is a 'chain' store?") Well, no! It's not exactly l-- that. But I was thinking about that, and I was thinking about supply chains, and then I thought about *this*, Josiah. And this is gonna seem a little off-topic, but I want you to think about this, OK? The FedEx arrow. I don't know if you've ever seen this before, but the FedEx arrow is very cool. And, of course, FedEx is part of the supply chain! (Josiah: "They named it FedEx -- uh, you know, I mean, this is not im-- I'm a happily married man, but I could imagine *a lot* of people would wanna name a company Fed*Up*Ex um cause of their -- cause they're f-- uh, fed up with their ex. And I was just curious, what kind of -- tell us a bit about your relationship history and your exes and what are they up to.") Well, we're not gonna talk about that, Josiah. What we're gonna talk about is the fact that the FedEx *arrow* -- listen to this, Josiah. The FedEx arrow -- what is an arrow? (Josiah: "Nate's dog.") It's a weapon. It's a weapon. (Josiah: "Oh! Uh huh.") And what is a chain? (Josiah: "I don't know.") A chain is also a weapon. It's *all* related, Josiah. When you talk about supply chain, you talk about FedEx, you talk about the arrow. You go from talking about a arrow, talking about a weapon. Chain, going back to a supply chain, is also a weapon. So then how do we make a supply chain better? Well, we start to move away from chains, and we look at *different* types of weapons. And the first thing that I thought of was an arrow, because of course was the FedEx arrow. (Josiah: "So, how is this gonna help us get uh Bionicles at Walm--") Well, just think -- well, think about that, think about this. Think about this. This is the rope dart. So, Josiah, just like the chain, the rope dart is on a tether. It's attached. It can only go so far. But there are weapons, and again, moving away from the chain, back to the FedEx arrow, that could perhaps be a sort of template for our new supply chain, which will be more of a World Wide Chain, but will be more of an arrow.
* Timetable: No timetable was given for World Wide Chain. However, since it would only involve everyone going a bit faster to unchain the supply chain and turn it into an arrow, it will likely be implemented very soon, perhaps once Drew presents the idea to Congress and gets their approval.
* Idea details:
	+ World Wide Chain will be a new supply chain, and it will be more of an arrow.
	+ There is an arrow in the FedEx logo, and FedEx is part of the supply chain.
	+ The archer Lars Andersen will be the Steve Jobs of World Wide Chain. The first thing he's going to say is, "Can we call it World Wide Arrow instead?", and the answer is yes.
	+ World Wide Chain will take the supply chain to the next level with faster planes, faster ships, faster cars. This will turn the chain into an arrow.
	+ Instead of workers driving slow, they will drive faster so we can get our stuff on time. Currently, trucks are capped at a certain speed. However, as part of World Wide Chain global supply chain arrow, which is no longer a chain because we will remove that tether, that truck driver will instead be allowed to move at 200 mph. A plane is currently capped at 750 mph, for example, but instead of going that fast, it will now go 1500 mph. This will turn the chain into an arrow.
	+ Drew will go to Congress and present the idea for World Wide Chain.
	+ In addition to vehicles moving faster, people will also need to move faster and walk with pep in their step. They will also need to work harder and longer. They will be paid but we will have to see about them being paid overtime because it might not be in the budget.
	+ There will still be some rules like don't drive into people or smash your car around.
	+ You can drive faster and work longer but you still have to be safe. So instead of working a 20-hour day, now you're working a 16-hour day or a 12-hour day, depending on people being able to remain emotionally regulated and mentally well since those are also part of safety. So if they need to get some sleep, then a 12-hour day would be better than a 16-hour day.
	+ There will be pods that people can work in.
	+ There will be pods that zip around the cityscape, zooming around the sky.
	+ To remedy any listeners' confusion regarding this idea, this meme was created to explain World Wide Chain clearly.

## Devil Play

* Josiah first declined to play devil because he did not understand World Wide Chain. However, when pressed, he supposed his idea of playing devil would just be to take Drew's metaphor and turn it into something more tangible: create weapons of mass delivery and create weapons that are, for example, a nuke that is full of toothbrushes or a tank that shoots bottled water into a home, or landmines that have Tickle Me Elmo's in them. In so doing, the War on Christmas would become an actual war, and so that could be the episode this week instead of Drew's idea for World Wide Chain.
	+ Drew denied Josiah's devil.

## Notable Events

* Josiah and Drew discussed the Globe Hell Patreon and the brand new Globe Hell Warning Teespring. Josiah revealed that the *Why Do I Have Blue Eyes* throw pillow was designed to be cummed on.
* Josiah revealed that he and Drew are in a lot of debt due to the high expenses and astronomical legal fees associated with putting out the show, since pretty much every week they say something that gets them an affidavit. Drew revealed that they have their lawyer on retainer.
* Drew revealed that three of his other sources of income include a laundrymat, he does Uber driver, and stand-up comedy.
* Josiah and Drew practiced their crowd work as it relates to stand-up comedy by watching the following videos:
	+ "How to Work the Crowd: Stand-Up Comedy Tips" about how working the crowd as a stand-up comic is a great way to kill time between jokes, and it helps to ask questions to the crowd on prepared topics.
	+ "How to Perform Effective Crowd Work" about victorious secrets.
	+ "HUGE Speech Practice Audience with Applause (5 minute presentation) - Impromtu Speaking". This was Drew's crowd to practice his crowd work in a live stand-up set. Drew revealed in his crowd work that he is circumcized but not Jewish. The crowd applauded Drew at the end of his set. They also applauded both Josiah and Drew as part of Globe Hell Warning.
		- Note: This is Drew's second stand-up set on Globe Hell Warning, after Episode 33: Back to Basics.
* Josiah and Drew watched the music video for the song *The Chain (from Gears 5)* by Evanescence.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Supply chain crisis causing empty store shelves" about how more shoppers across the country are finding store shelves empty, the result of major problems within the supply chain.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "What is Supply Chain Management?" about the supply chain and supply chain management.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The Fedex Arrow" about the history of the FedEx logo and its hidden arrow!
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Chain Whip - Amazing" about techniques, moves, spins, and shoot of the Traditional 9 Section Steel Supreme Chain Whip from Chinese Kung Fu.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Xtreme Martial Arts - Rope Dart | FIGHT SPORTS" about how Xtreme Martial Arts uses technology to show what it takes to perform in various martial arts.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Lars Andersen: A new level of archery" about the ultimate archery trick.
* World Wide Arrow (chain)
* World Wide Chain Mail
* Drew revealed he has probably seen the movie *Robin Hood: Men in Tights* 50 times.
* Josiah and Drew briefly watched a video called "Medieval Instrumental Music - Medieval Life" about how medieval music will take you back to the times of kings and queens, knights and blacksmiths, minstrels and inns.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Lars Andersen: Turning Arrows" about how arrows fly directions can be changed in the air.
* Josiah and Drew continued watching "Medieval Instrumental Music - Medieval Life".
* Drew revealed he doesn't have a dog.
* Josiah and Drew rewatched "HUGE Speech Practice Audience with Applause (5 minute presentation) - Impromtu Speaking" as an example of Drew going in front of Congress to present them with the answer to the supply chain issue: World Wide Chain.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Lars Andersen: Impossible Archery, Vol. 1" about archery precision trick shooting, never done before.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Lars Andersen reveals the TRUTH about the most viewed archery video ever made" about the rather funny story behind the viral video "A new level of Archery".

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "Somebody bought a *Why Do I Have Blue Eyes* uh throw pillow. And that was actually designed to be cummed on, too. So I hope that is a person who does blast ropes of cum from their body."
* [In response to Drew saying, 'I do Uber driver'] "An Uber driver pays you to fuck him?"
* "Yeah, that's, I mean, that Gig Economy's out of control; now these Uber drivers are paying Drew to fuck them."
* "And I think that you're gonna be great at crowd work, working the crowd, I mean, you're already good at um fucking an Uber driver, it sounds like."
* "What do you -- what does any of this mean? What are you talking about? Pretend -- I know it's hard, but pretend I'm really dumb and that I don't understand."
* "B-- oh, Boaty McBoatface."
* "[On the topic of skyrocketing costs] "Well don't send it by skyrocket! And then it won't be so expensive!"
* "So it's too expensive to send the goods to the shelves because they're using the method of skyrocket to ship it?"
* "Skyrocket in flight? Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight! I love lamp. \*Doing a Ron Burgundy impression\* 'I'm Ron Burgundy.' "
* "Oh, the Vietnam War on Christmas. So then you probably need, like, a Christmas Vietcong if you wanna solve the Vietnam War on Christmas."
* "The thing about capitalism that I wanna just quickly say, and all the Alex Presses of the world probably fuckin' get the -- I just wanna say that the thing about capitalism is that every time you buy anything, it's a -- feels like Christmas. And so it's always gonna be a War on Christmas with -- as long as these people are here."
* [On the topic of why the supply chain is important to him] "Well, cause I wanna get -- I wanna go to Walmart, and my wife said that I could go and get a new Bionicle. And if I get there and they're sold out, I'm gonna start having a fuckin' meltdown in the aisles. Because I want my Bionicles! Because my wife said that I could get a Bionicle and it's my turn to spend money on myself and I wanna get a new Bionicle and I need to build it! And a boy got the la-- the boy got the last one! And that boy won't give me his Bionicle!"
* "They named it FedEx -- uh, you know, I mean, this is not im-- I'm a happily married man, but I could imagine *a lot* of people would wanna name a company Fed*Up*Ex um cause of their -- cause they're f-- uh, fed up with their ex. And I was just curious, what kind of -- tell us a bit about your relationship history and your exes and what are they up to."
* [On the topic of a chain whip] "So this is somehow related to Walmart, is what you're saying."
* "I don't wanna jump ahead, but what if delivery drivers had to wear motion capture balls? Cause you can track a package now, but you can't tell, like, what if the driver is jacking o-- what if the -- what if it's the Uber driver getting sucked off by Drew? Uh or, you know, the motion capture balls would show all of that. Well, you could see the ba-- the ba-- the balls would show the dip -- the head dipping."
* "So, Drew, make it make sense. You know? Like, I think it's time for you to really make it all make sense."
* "So y- are you just trying to say that you're using the archery as kind of a metaphor, but you -- your solution is actually just everyone just goes a bit faster?"
* "Why did you show me all these videos that were cool weapons if your solution is just to go faster?"
* "I guess we have to rewind a little bit and say, 'What do you think is a metaphor?' What does a metaphor mean to you? I know you don't know what's a dick for, but what's a metaphor?"
* "I don't understand what you're talking about. Every time you speak, it gets more confusing this episode."
* "Can something that doesn't exist have attributes like color?"
* [On the topic of shooting a drop of water with a tube arrow] "Well that could solve the water shortage."
* "So the arrow is a World Wide Chain?"
* "So it *is* an arrow, though. Literally."
* "So what *is* it? So what are we talking about this week? We've got 10 minutes to do an episode now, so let's do the episode and explain to me what you're talking about this week and how we're gonna fix the supply chain so that Christmas can be saved and no one can be sad."
* "The thing is, I don't mind not knowing -- like, I don't mind letting you and the politicians work it out. That's fine! But if your -- if your student -- if the student doesn't understand the teacher, then the teacher has failed. And every second week, I'm your student, and it's pretty brutal, to be honest."
* "I don't think that a brick wall could be quantified as being stupid or intelligent."
* "So your idea is that everyone -- so you spent an hour of all of our time explaining an idea that is just everyone should just be a little bit faster and work a little bit harder and longer."
* "I mean, I would honestly love to know, from all of our listeners: does this make sense to you? I think it is time to really be honest with ourselves about what are any of us doing with our time, is this -- does this make sense? Does this work? The supply -- you told me the episode's called World Wide Chain but you're saying it's an arrow now!"
* [In response to Drew asking if he wanted to play devil] "I think that I -- I think that I can't! Because I don't understand. I don't think -- I don't understa-- I truly feel completely, exactly -- it's like an arrow has gone *over* my head, I *absolutely* do not understand this. I guess my idea of playing devil would just be let's actually take your stupid metaphor and turn it into something more tangible: create weapons of mass delivery and create weapons that are, like I said, a nuke that is full of toothbrushes or a tank that shoots bottled water into a home, uh mi-- maybe landmines that are um -- have T-- uh, Tickle Me Elmo's in them, and then there -- then the War on Christmas becomes an *actual* war, and so maybe that could be the episode this week."
* "So you're gonna deny my devil? That's what you're doing? Just cause your ego can't take it?"

### Drew

* "We have a lawyer on retainer and we have a lawyer on retaining."
* [In response to Josiah saying this show is their only source of income] "Well, that's not exactly true. I mean, I have other sources of income. I've diversified my profile. I don't know why you haven't at this point in your life; how old are you? 35?"
* "I do Uber driver."
* "No, my job is do Uber driver. Does that make sense?"
* [In response to the person flopping in the video they were watching] "You should listen to this flopping, Josiah. This is something you do a lot. Not only do your jokes flop, but you also flop your dick outta your pants."
* "Shut the fuck up!"
* "Hey, buddy, uh, hey, uh, um, Black guy in the front row. Are you circumcized? I am. I'm not Jewish but I'm circumcized anyways."
* [In response to Josiah criticizing him for going in on both Black people and Jewish people] "Can I even say anything anymore? Without being attacked? Well it's just -- it's the kind -- it's a diff-- maybe it's not your kind of comedy."
* "Are you gay, sir?"
* "I would love to do Carnegie Hall. Until then, I'll do Uber driver."
* "Well, Josiah, I wanted to talk to you about something. It's gonna be comin' up pretty soon. And I know you're gonna say it's early, cause it's October. But there's a War on Christmas."
* "So it's a different kind of War on Christmas, but it's a War on Christmas nonethesame. And I wanted to talk about the chain, which is why we're listening to Evanescence *The Chain* right now."
* "Boaty McBoatface."
* "Yeah, but when you talk about skyrockets, when you talk about boats, when you talk about train, World Wide Train --"
* "Goddammit, Josiah."
* "I don't know anything about the Mormons."
* "But I was thinking about that, and I was thinking about supply chains, and then I thought about *this*, Josiah. And this is gonna seem a little off-topic, but I want you to think about this, OK? The FedEx arrow. I don't know if you've ever seen this before, but the FedEx arrow is very cool."
* [In response to Josiah asking about his relationship history] "Well, we're not gonna talk about that, Josiah. What we're gonna talk about is the fact that the FedEx *arrow* -- listen to this, Josiah. The FedEx arrow -- what is an arrow? It's a weapon. It's a weapon. And what is a chain? A chain is also a weapon."
* "It's *all* related, Josiah. When you talk about supply chain, you talk about FedEx, you talk about the arrow. You go from talking about a arrow, talking about a weapon. Chain, going back to a supply chain, is also a weapon. So then how do we make a supply chain better? Well, we start to move away from chains, and we look at *different* types of weapons. And the first thing that I thought of was an arrow, because of course was the FedEx arrow."
* "So, Josiah, just like the chain, the rope dart is on a tether. It's attached. It can only go so far. But there are weapons, and again, moving away from the chain, back to the FedEx arrow, that could perhaps be a sort of template for our new supply chain, which will be more of a World Wide Chain, but will be more of an arrow."
* "This isn't accidentally leftist; this is on purpose leftist."
* "No, we're metaphorically winning the War on Christmas with weapons which are chains, but guess what, Josiah? Chains -- you have to get so close to whip somebody with a chain. With an arrow, you can stand far away. So we're going with arrows now! How does this not make sense?"
* [In response to Josiah saying he doesn't know what's a dick for] "Well, what's a dick for?"
* [On the topic of what a metaphor is] "It's when you say, for example, um, 'Gosh, my dog is hungry.' But it's not hungry."
* "Congress, I have uh something to show you that I think will change your mind \*belch\* -- well, not change your mind, but will give you the type of perspective and outside-the-box thinking that will solve the supply chain crisis. Shut the fuck up."
* "We need to remove the chains and we need to shoot the arrow. The World Wide Chain."
* "It's a metaphorical chain. It's not an actual chain. It's not a literal chain."
* "No, it's not literally an arrow. The arrow is also a metaphor."
* "It seems like you don't learn at all. It seems like talking to you is really like -- talking to you -- I guess talking to you is a lot like - and by the way this is a metaphor - it's a lot like uh talking to a brick wall. Because a brick wall is also *so* stupid, uh and doesn't understand anything I'm saying."
* "Well you're a brick wall. You have no thought. You have no thought. You have no thought."
* "What don't you understand about the fact that, when we move to arrow, when we say to -- when we say, 'Get rid of the chains, move to arrow', what don't you understand? That's removing all the chains around the supply chain so that stuff can move faster. So we're talking about cars driving faster, people with more pep in their step, Josiah! We need the warehouse workers to be moving a little bit faster, working a little bit longer hours to get this taken care of. They are our arrows, they are our archers!"
* "But if you think about um, like, Walmart is almost like a metaphor for arrow. For Target."
* "So if they need to get some sleep, then I think, like, a 12-hour shift um would be better than a 16, of course. But I think also part of making our supply chain into an arrow could also -- maybe there's gonna be pods -- pods that people can work in. But also there's gonna be pods that can zip around the cityscape, also. They're gonna be able to zoom around the sky! So all kinds of stuff is -- they're gonna be possible with the new supply chain."
* [On the topic of how he would present an elevator pitch version of World Wide Chain to Jeff Bezos] "I'd say, 'Jeff, first of all, I'm a big fan of yours. Jeff, let me just take a minute of your time and show you this video. This is Lars Andersen, um he's an archer.' "
* [Continuing his elevator pitch version of World Wide Chain to Jeff Bezos] "I'll say, 'Jeff, do you have 90 minutes? I need to show you this -- this is Lard Andersen revealing the truth about the most viewed archery video ever made.' And Lars -- and then I tell him all about Lars Andersen, I tell him all about the FedEx arrow, and he'd say, 'Great, Drew, can I have --'. Wait, no, he's gonna give *me* money. He's gonna -- well -- That's why he's the best; he was gonna ask me for 60 million dollars. And I was gonna give it to him! That's how good he is!"
* [Continuing his elevator pitch version of World Wide Chain to Jeff Bezos] "But I'd have to turn it around on him and say, 'Jeff, Jeff, hold on, hold on, hold on.' And I'd put my hand on his head. Say, 'Hold on, Jeff.' Mhm. 'Hold on, Jeff. Uh I got uh three words for ya: World Wide Chain.' And then I'd explain even more to him. And he'd say, 'OK, well can I have *50* million dollars?' I'd say, 'No, Jeff. But I need 30 million dollars.' He'd say, 'Here you go.' "
* "I think the listeners will get it."

## Trivia

* This was the fourth World Wide Train idea discussed on Globe Hell Warning, after Episode 1: World Wide Train, Episode 10: World Wide Train, and Episode 55: World Wide T'rain.
* This was Drew's second World Wide Train idea, after Episode 1: World Wide Train.
* This is Drew's second idea about improved delivery services, after Episode 66: World Wide Mutual Aid DIY Delivery Service.
* When this episode was first released, the episode title of the video version was "world wide chain". It was later renamed "Episode 68: World Wide Chain".