Kermit the Frog

Kermit the Frog, one of the founding members of The Crew, has become a staple in our lives since the 2000's began.

## History

Kermit the Frog's legacy started in the late 90's with us. He was dug out of a closet and put through a rigorous testing via The Laundry Basket game and skits. It was clear to us, through his many wins and physically defying landings, and superior acting abilities, that he was to be the leader of The Crew.

## Romantic Life

Kermit the Frog, according to modern lore, is married to Miss Piggy. This isn't actually true however. That is a sham marriage for show.

Kermit's real wife is Kermoine. However, due to her grotesque appearance, Kermit decided she would hold back his career in acting and may jeopardize his role as the leader of The Crew. Kermit wisely chose to "marry" Miss Piggy to avoid these issues. While it did work for a while, the secret is now out in the inner circles. Kermit blames Kermoine and Miss Piggy both, and beats them unmercifully.

## Physical Description

Kermit the Frog, despite his injuries, is immortal. This is because he created everything, including himself. Therefore, nothing can actually kill him, but only set him back momentarily.

Kermit the Frog started as a lovely shade of green. However, over the years his vibrant green faded to a murky green/brown combination. His bib did not see much discoloration.

Kermit's eyes are made of a hard plastic. However, Kermit suffered some serious physical abuse resulting in the loss of his eyes. Surgery attempts were made to re-affix his eyes, but it was always short lived. Today, you can see the characteristic scars of hot glue from these attempts.

Kermit once had a proud and strong beak. After many peckings, his beak is now a former shell of itself. Kermit's beak is now crumpled and broken, with many tears and scars.

Kermit's main mode of transportation is bubbing, which was achieved through the use of his propellor (or tag in layman's terms). Like most things with Kermit, it has suffered some trauma. While still attached, it is weak and he can no longer bub as vigorously as he once could.

Kermit's mittens and flippers have held up surprisingly well over the course of his life. Only minor surgeries were needed to fix some of his injuries, which is quite impressive considering the physical abuse he was dealt, and the abuse he dealt to others (namely Kermoine).

Finally, and perhaps one of the more important aspects, are Kermit's lanky limbs. These limbs were used to strike his foes. Once again, minor surgeries were needed in order to repair some injuries, but overall they have held up. Kermit is immortal.

## Bubbing

Kermit's main mode of transportation is bubbing. Bubbing, in Kermit the Frog's case, is characterized by extreme effort to move incredibly slow. This is achieved through the use of his propellor.

Bubbing first was discovered by holding Kermit out of the window of a moving car. The wind caused his propellor to flap, very loudly. When outside of Wind-Aided Bubbing Propulsion™, bubbing was achieved by holding onto Kermit's body with one hand, and his propellor in the other. Then you simply shake the propellor back and forth to bub.

## Physics

Kermit the Frog defied the laws of physics on numerous occassions. It happened so often that it almost became expected. The most notable occurance that happened on more than one occasion was the headstand.

The headstand itself did not defy physics, but the circumstances in which it occured make it questionable. Kermit was launched, with excessive force, across the room. He landed on top of a pillow, which was not an even surface. Amazingly, he landed in a position almost identical to the one pictured. This happened on more than one occassion on varying surfaces.

When asked how this could happen, Kermit had the following to say:

"*Well, did you know I made the laws of physics? I can change them at any time to my will. I mean, I did create the world after all.*"
These statements could not be verified.

## Weaknesses

Kermit the Frog, while technically immortal, does have a few weaknesses:

> • Tripping
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> • Pikman saying "Pikman"
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> • Kid McChugs
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## Catchphrases

         • "Hey did you know I made that?"

• "Hurry! Hurry! There's not much time!"
• "Hey bub!"
• "Did you just, erm, call me Kramit?"
• "I HATE YOU! AYEEAANNNA"