Two

“*I don’t disagree with you on that. All love has conditions and anyone who believes otherwise has never experienced real love. I will agree with you on that. Love has conditions, always. But I loved her, Lazarus. I didn’t hate her for her mistakes, nor did I shun or belittle her for her faults or her failings as a person or as a parent. I loved her on the condition that she love me in return and she did, so I never held any of her flaws against her. That’s about as close to unconditional love as it gets, dear.*”

— Two to Six in Chapter 14: Sonrisa (Shock Values)

## Debuts

### Graphic novel debut

N/A

Two, otherwise known as Number Two, is a Haint in the Mausoleum.

## Biography

When he was a child, Two was constantly moving around living in different locations with his mother. He ultimately met One and Dave when he moved to a Southern town because a man his mother knew owed her a favor and set up a house for them.

Two moved to this town during summer vacation and befriended a boy named Dave. In four months, the two became “closer than the kids who’d known each other since before preschool,” and constantly played around.

## Appearance

Two is a handsome young man with long vivid red hair and brown eyes. At times, Two’s eyes can become red. Two is at least four inches taller than Roman and has a lean body. Two also has dark freckles over the bridge of his nose.

## Personality

Two is a charismatic, charming, humorous, and dark individual. He’s also prone to making sarcastic jokes, especially sexual jokes. He is also rude and blunt at times to the ones around him.

Two is known for being someone secretive and untrustworthy due to his unpredictable and strange nature. It is sometimes unclear to Branson and others when Two is being genuine and natural or if he’s only imitating a proper social response.

As shown with his past with One, Two was a selfless and devoted friend who sacrificed his freedom for One’s own.Two is also highly protective of One, and according to her, is someone who gets jealous easily.

Two is also someone who is sexual, and is one of the more sexually lax Revenants in the series. When Five wants to have sex, Two is usually enthusiastic and will have sex with her. According to Five, Two is as strong and ruthless as she is in the bedroom.

Two has a psychological dark side and an innate sadistic desire to destroy a person emotionally.

## Pulse

Two’s Pulse gives him the ability to read minds, manipulate memories, and have a conversation with people telepathically. Two describes his abilities as being able to “see into the minds of men, see their greatest fears, their subconscious desires, their lies, and their truths.”

 Two can project his pulse onto a field and cause multiple people to hallucinate. Two can also create false memories and implant them into someone’s mind to the point where they cannot tell if the memory is false or genuine. Two can transfer memories from one individual to another. Two can make people forget certain memories. Two claims that it is easier for him to make people forget their wedding anniversaries than it is to make them forget a violent murder.

 Two can force someone to experience hallucinations, flashbacks, dissociations and delusions.

 Two does not need to know the language one is thinking of to understand them. He can understand someone as long as he can read the sentiment, force and direction of their emotions. Two dislikes when his ability is called “mind-reading” because it marginalizes his “talent for shifting through the constant state of disarray that is mankind’s mind.”

## Death

When he was a child, during a confrontation with Branson, Two, with his pocket knife, slit his wrists downwards and then stabbed his own eyes. Two did this in an effort to become a Revenant, so One would not have to go to the Mausoleum.

## Trivia

* One is Two’s best friend.
* Two smokes.
* Two was born in the year 1976.
* Two’s room is personalized. He has a personal bathroom with a bathtub and shower. He has a desk that is stuffed with paper. Two also owns a VCR.
* Two was nicknamed “Handsome Man” in chapter 42 of Shock Values.
* According to Marco, Two thinks love is obsession.

## Quotes

* (To Ten) “*I could make you feel good. If you’d just let me in, let me scramble up your insides a little, hell I could make you someone completely different if you wanted, you could spend the rest of your days truly believing you’re loved, that you’re outside, that your existence is justified. Or if you really want--if you really want, I could scramble his brains, make him think you’re friends, make him care about you the way he used to. One final gift, from me to you.*”
* (To One) “*Not far. Doubt they’ll do anything. Why can’t the guy give me a break? I don’t wanna watch Seven and Ten mess around in the woods… ok, no, I’m lying, I’m totally into that, but I know that’s not what they’re doing, so…*”
* (To One) *“...I’ve shown you them before. Memories like that can’t just be… erased. It felt wrong, you know. Like you know how in a library, or like an art museum, there’s an aura about the place, like you can speak loudly, but you don’t want to, because it’s so quiet? It felt like that, or a better way to describe it is like…rippling a still lake. I didn’t want to destroy something so beautiful. Though apparently I had no problem whatsoever with tainting it. It felt like touching a wedding dress with bloody hands..*.”
* (To Marco) “*We’re not really friends, but I can tell you this similar to the manner of a friend. If you really want to save him… you’re going to have to break him. Do you really think something so fragile and whole can survive down here? The ones who survive are those who’ve been broken, smashed to pieces, and put back together, cracked and unstable, but stronger than before. Held together by a chain, a desperate, ironic desire to survive, but simultaneously free of the burdens of life, the burden of having something to lose. Those with nothing to lose will always have the upper-hand here, Marco. They breathe violence, cast aside allegiance, seek only retribution and not against any one person, but against the world for allowing them to exist. By allowing themselves to be destroyed, they become indestructible. By hurting, they learn to hurt. Maybe you have some fantasy of protecting his innocence, his kindness, his weakness, but I’m warning you now that such a thing is impossible. Impossible if you want him to live, anyway*.”
* “*You’re not supposed to. I’m not looking for your trust. All I can tell you is that as far as I’m aware, the Reapers are not an issue. You don’t have to believe me. If they were a concern, though, then what benefit would I get from lying to you? I would want to team up with at least one of you if the Reapers were really a threat. Yet here I am, being rude and blunt as usual. No ass-kissing whatsoever. I’ll prove it too. Four, I’m not even remotely attracted to you because though I am many horrible things, I am not a pedophile with a scat fetish. Uh, Three, you’re such a tight ass I feel compelled to tell that I’m free tonight, 9 p.m., or whenever, really, I’m flexible. Six, well where do I begin with you, your hair looks like something I would use to scrape out the inside of my shitter and I’m not referring to the porcelain kind*-”
* (To Six) “*True. I for example believe in living your life doing whatever you please as long as it makes you feel good. You on the other hand… well, you Jesus types believe in the exact opposite, don’t you? Be miserable, be frugal, be plain and unambitious and humble thyself to the Lord. Bow your head in supplication and never raise it, never look to the sky, keep looking down. Rather dull, isn’t it?*”
* (To Six) “*Does it bother you? That I loved my mother? Or do you not believe that it could be true, that one born of sin could love the sinner who brought him into this world and continue long after she left it? Does it burn you up inside that I remember love and you don’t, even though you claim you know it now? That’s what all this is, isn’t it, this religious zealotry?*”
* (To Six) “*I don’t disagree with you on that. All love has conditions and anyone who believes otherwise has never experienced real love. I will agree with you on that. Love has conditions, always. But I loved her, Lazarus. I didn’t hate her for her mistakes, nor did I shun or belittle her for her faults or her failings as a person or as a parent. I loved her on the condition that she love me in return and she did, so I never held any of her flaws against her. That’s about as close to unconditional love as it gets, dear. You cling to a powerful, perfect, omnipotent being because someone you cannot speak to, cannot see, cannot hear, they can’t abandon you. They can’t hurt you. You and all of those religious freaks out there convince themselves that you are the ones who fucked up, that you must’ve done something wrong, to anger Him, and that you must fix yourselves. But it’s not because you genuinely desire to be good people for Him. You’re afraid of his wrath, but not just that, you’re afraid that if you give in to your natural impulses and be who you truly are, then no one will love you, no one will value you. You’re cowards who can’t handle the thought of being alone, so you create a being who’s always watching you, who will always love you, despite your flaws, as long as you love Him. You think, don’t put your faith in people because they’ll rip it to shreds and step on the pieces without another glance back. But an invisible, intangible being who cares about everything you do, every tiny thing, whose love hinges on obedience? He is always watching. God is always watching. How self-important, how egotistical humans can be. Mommy doesn’t care if you sneak a swig of Cognac and Daddy’s never around, but God, at least, is watching. Even if he’s angry, at least he’s watching. He cares enough to be mad. I mean, negative attention is better than none. How very childish, that notion, but then, we are all children, regardless of age, aren’t we?*”
* (To One) “*Are you implying there’s a* problem *with my chaperoning skills? I’m great with kids.*”
* (To Roman) “*You got to play the martyr. Very sweet, very dramatic, I was in tears. But after I was finished laughing, I realized you were going to die and Branson would have my ass again, so I called up Hazy*.”
* (To Three) “*That’s a spoiler. I’m not going to spoil it for you. You’re the type who reads the last page of the book, aren’t you? Don’t do that, it really ruins the fun, the build-up, the spectacular climb right before the climax. You climb a mountain to savor victory at its summit, right? If all you wanted was the view, you’d have hired a helicopter to fly you up there, or gone online and found pictures of mountain summits. It’s not the end that matters, it’s the journey, the entertainment an adventure gives you*.”
* (To One) “*Of course, I hate you as much as I love you, my dear. For taking everything I have, so that all I have left…is you. That was clever. If I wanted to bind someone to me, heart, mind, and soul, that’s how I would do it too*.”

## References

1. ↑ *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Gallows Humor* Chapter 21
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Roman’s Numeral* Chapter 77
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Shock Values* Chapter 12
4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Shock Values* Chapter 27
5. ↑ *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Shock Values* Chapter 65
6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Shock Values* Chapter 33
7. ↑ 7.0 7.1 *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Gallows Humor* Chapter 49
8. ↑ *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Shock Values* Chapter 44
9. ↑ *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Gallows Humor* Chapter 73
10. ↑ 10.0 10.1 *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Shock Values* Chapter 54
11. ↑ 11.0 11.1 11.2 11.3 *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Shock Values* Chapter 14
12. ↑ *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Roman’s Numeral* Chapter 90
13. ↑ 13.0 13.1 13.2 *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Gallows Humor* Chapter 71
14. ↑ 14.0 14.1 *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Roman's Numeral* Chapter 52
15. ↑ *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Shock Values* Chapter 46
16. ↑ *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Gallows Humor* Chapter 51
17. ↑ *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Shock Values* Chapter 3
18. ↑ *Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Roman’s Numeral* Chapter 12