Another Ed, Another Dollar

**Another Ed, Another Dollar** is episode 80a of Edward and Eric. It premiered on Kids' WB on January 19, 2002.

## Synopsis

Tony and Tamara spend a fortune trying to find their missing $1 bill, which they wanted to use for buying lunch. However, they end up destroying the school in the process.

## Cast (WIP)

* Andrew Rannells as Edward
* John DiMaggio as Tony
* Grey DeLisle as Tamara
* Josh Peck as Eric
* Wayne Grayson as Joey
* Gary Sauls as Constantinos
* Edward Felker as Stanley
* Dan Green as Dallas
* Eric Stuart as Gurney and Frankfurt

## Trivia

* Although this episode premiered in 2002, it was produced in 2001 according to the copyright date at the end of the credits.

## Transcript

(At the school's courtyard, Tony and Tamara are giggling as they eat massive amounts of MacDouglas' food together)

**Tony:** Would you mind passing the extra cheese, m'lady?

**Tamara:** My pleasure. (hands him cheese from her cheeseburger)

(Tony eats it, but since it's steaming hot, he spits it out)

(Tamara scoops it up and eats it, but then she bites on something odd. She sticks her tongue out)

**Tamara:** Hey!

(It turns out to be a dollar bill, which she licks the cheese off of)

**Tony:** (gasps) Ew, it's lettuce! Get that dreaded leaf away from us, Tamara!

**Tamara:** No, Tony, it's a $1 bill you ended up eating.

(A disturbing closeup of the dollar is shown. Drool drenches down)

**Tony:** (gasps again) We're RICH!

(They bounce around before inserting themselves into their school uniforms exactly like how a turtle would with its shell)

(They pop out wearing top hats, and they start tap dancing everywhere)

(This goes on for an entire 30 seconds until Joey interrupts them)

**Joey:** What the heck is going on here?

(The duo continues dancing)

**Joey:** Oh, great. I never knew pigs could dance on their hind legs.

(Frankfurt is seen in the background)

**Frankfurt:** I take offense to that, you know.

**Tony:** Hey, Joey! (laughs) You're funny.

**Tamara:** We found a $1 bill! So now we're wealthy and have economic powers!

**Tony:** We're going to buy many expensive things, such as stocks from greedy companies! Like Diz-knee! We shall assert dominance on the upper class!

**Joey:** (sarcastically) Are you really? Gee, I'm so scared. I ought to hire a lawyer.

**Tony:** No, silly. I meant we're gonna buy $60 worth of Chinese food.

**Joey:** With just $1? Lemme guess, you're gonna cut it into sixty little pieces, only to mistake it for a salad and run away in fear? Give me a break.

(Tony and Tamara have already left to buy Chinese food. They dash to a local Chinese restaurant and barge in, where Gurney is working at the front desk. They are galloping like horses)

**Gurney:** (crosses his arms) No running in the restaurant.

**Tony:** (he and Tamara stop) We would like $60 worth of your finest options, please. (lets out a toothy grin)

(Gurney sees that they aren't carrying anything)

**Gurney:** And exactly *how* do you plan on financing this?

**Tony:** With this! (shows his open palm, but there isn't anything)

(Gurney takes a look with a magnifying glass, and a disturbing closeup of his bloodshot eye is shown)

**Gurney:** (puts it down) Nothing buys nothing, losers.

**Tamara:** (looks down at Tony's palm in disappointment) Chinese food...?

**Tony:** The dollar bill is ***GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!***

(He and Tamara start hyperventilating)

**Both:** (drops down to their knees) ***WE LOST OUR DOLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!***

(They plant their faces on the ground and loudly sob, forming a puddle of tears. Gurney sets down a wet floor sign on it)

(The camera transitions to Tony and Skipper's room)

**Tony:** (takes out a magazine that has an image of a metal detector on the cover) Alright, this should help us find our $1 bill.

**Tamara:** (gasps) By holding a magazine?! That's amazing.

**Tony:** No, dumb-dumb. This here front cover shows a finding machine - a metal detector!

**Tamara:** Hmmm...that looks expensive.

(She instantly takes out a huge bag of money anyway, where there are tons of dollar bills and gold bars inside)

**Tamara:** But when it comes to getting our dollar back, (holds up a gold bar) money is no object!

**Tony:** OBJECT!!!!

(Beat)

**Tony:** Wait, what?

(The camera transitions to the exterior of the school's post office)

**Constantinos:** (inside) Your package says it's a special delivery.

(The duo kicks the door down, holding a gigantic cardboard box. They unwrap it, revealing two metal detectors. They grab one each)

**Tamara:** Now we'll find our dollar!

**Tony:** And live happily ever after!

(We see Christian, Buford and Chuck having a conversation)

**Chuck:** Aaron says he's been thinking a lot about snails recently.

**Christian:** Oh yeah. They're slimy.

(Tony leaps onto them and beats them up, stripping them down to their boxers)

**Tony:** (scans them with his metal detector) Nope, no $1 bills. (sadly walks away with Tamara)

**Buford:** (shivering and stumbling) High school sure does build character.

(They enter the cafeteria, where students are eating lunch. Tamara puts her metal detector in front of Eric's mouth)

**Tamara:** We found our $1 bill! Eric, say "ah"!

(Eric lets out an ungodly scream, leaving his mouth wide open. We see a disturbing closeup of his sore gums and rotting teeth)

**Tamara:** I don't see it, but it's gotta be there.

(Tamara puts a magnet in front of Eric's teeth, which brutally rips all of it off his gums. The only remnants of his teeth are nerve endings)

**Tamara:** Nope. Just teeth. It can't be in there.

(They scan the cafeteria's utensils)

**Tamara:** A-ha!

(She and Tony toss out all of the utensils. Everybody screams as they get pinned against the wall by the forks and knives as if they were dartboards)

**Tamara:** (sighs) No. No dollar here.