TRP: Anwyll and Raef (Children and Rings)

MinkLast Saturday at 11:03 AM

[Day: 430 Setting: Anwyll's cave]

Raef didn't remember the trip back.  It was a vague haze, asking someone to teleport them back to the island, begging Hansel to watch Az and Tikva...trying to carry Anwyll, failing, and trying again until he managed it.

Then back through the dying fungus, the caves...back to bed of furs to lay Anwyll down, brush back his hair, stroke his face with a shaking hand.  He hadn't woken up yet.

That was okay.

He was breathing.

He was breathing.

Raef swallowed thickly as he ran his fingers through pale locks again.  He made himself pull away so he could change Anwyll into a clean robe and tuck covers around him before he left to take care if the cave.

He couldn't think straight.  Everything was muddled and stretched, a dirty line stretching into nothing before springing back only to stretch again.

So he cleaned, he fixed what he could, then he sat down on the covers beside Anwyll and resumed gentle touches.  He could think a little better now that the remnants of that filthy bitch were gone from the cave.

He could focus better on his love, watch him, and wait for him to wake up.

CoyoteLast Saturday at 4:45 PM

Anwyll came to consciousness slowly. He moved a little, bit by bit— eyelashes flickering briefly when Raef touched his face, eyes cracking open enough to briefly fix on Raef as though alarmed and then relaxing and closing as though calmed again once he saw who it was. He stirred a little when Raef touched his limbs to rearrange him, murmuring brief complaints that almost sounded like protests.

MinkLast Saturday at 4:53 PM

"...you don't get to fuckin' complain after scaring the shit of me," Raef said with a faint smile, tucking the covers in before he leaned down to place a kiss to Anwyll's forehead, his nose, and finally his lips.  He stroked back Anwyll's hair. It didn't matter if Anwyll complained. He was awake again and the eyes that had looked out held the stars once more.

CoyoteLast Saturday at 5:00 PM

Anwyll seemed to relax at the sound of Raef’s voice, making a small, puzzled sound as if he didn’t understand what Raef was saying. Then when Raef kissed him, he seemed to awaken all at once, blinking drowsily at Raef.

“Oh no,” he mumbled, half-anxious. “Raef, you’ve... got to get away.”

MinkLast Saturday at 5:07 PM

Raef frowned, confused.  He traced the tips of his fingers down the sides of Anwyll's face before he cupped it, thumbs still stroking. "I don't have to go anywhere." He shifted to rest more on his hip, brushing lightly against the demon's. "Everything's fine."

CoyoteLast Saturday at 5:11 PM

“Daughter,” Anwyll mumbled. He weakly tried to pushed Raef away.

MinkLast Saturday at 5:13 PM

Raef captured the hand that pushed at him with his own.  He placed a tender kiss to the back of the knuckles, watching Anwyll with worry.  "...it's fine... she's gone," he whispered, squeezing Anwyll's hand gently, lovingly, soothingly. "...you're... you're back, it's fine."

CoyoteLast Saturday at 5:21 PM

Anwyll shook his head, weakly, still only half-conscious, it seemed— but he wrapped his arms around Raef and dragged Raef down to press him against his chest, tightly, as though afraid of losing Raef. His half-open eyes scanned the room.

MinkLast Saturday at 5:27 PM

Raef slipped his arms around Anwyll when he was pulled down, squeezing him tight.  Feeling Anwyll's arms around him, hearing the low thrum of his heart and the soft intake of his breath...he closed his eyes and nuzzled his face in against the crook of Anwyll's neck. "I promise it's okay," he whispered.

CoyoteLast Saturday at 5:54 PM

Bit by bit, Anwyll seemed to relax, breathing deeply against Raef’s shoulder. Then, finally, he mumbled, “Why am I— not covered in blood? I had— I had a nightmare. I couldn’t move. I tried to kill your friend.” His eyes focused. “The angry half-orc.”

MinkLast Saturday at 6:03 PM

Raef soothingly rubbed Anwyll's side. "It wasn't you...it was - it was Diva." The black-eyed bitch.  She just couldn't leave his family alone...but she was gone now. She wasn't going to fuck with anyone again.  Anger bubbled up briefly before dissipating. He sighed softly and placed a kiss to Anwyll's temple. "... she's gone now...she can't have you again."

CoyoteLast Saturday at 6:06 PM

“Gone?” Anwyll said, puzzled by this.

MinkLast Saturday at 6:19 PM

Raef hesitated a moment; Diva was Anwyll's daughter...he knew that feeling, having a child that wasn't...quite okay.

"...we killed her," he said slowly. Or whatever it was they did.

CoyoteLast Saturday at 6:21 PM

Anwyll didn’t seem angry or upset. Instead he looked— oddly exhausted. “Are you certain?”

MinkLast Saturday at 6:22 PM

"Yes." Raef nodded and squeezed Anwyll again. "She's gone."

CoyoteLast Saturday at 6:26 PM

Anwyll seemed relieved at first, and then grief-stricken, and then relieved again. He clutched at Raef and was totally silent. And then Anwyll began to shake, tears rolling down his face, but he did not sob. He tried several times to say something, but nothing came out.

MinkLast Saturday at 6:46 PM

Raef shifted his position to better hold Anywll, rubbing Anwyll's back and sides as he rocked him soothingly, feeling the tears. "I'm sorry," he whispered.  Not for killing Diva - she had to die - but for what Anwyll felt. Knowing your child wasn't good didn't help the pain. He knew, he remembered.

CoyoteLast Saturday at 6:47 PM

Anwyll didn’t say anything at all, just wept, clinging to Raef. He stayed like that for a long time. Minutes. Shaking with the horror of the possession and the grief of losing his daughter.

MinkLast Saturday at 6:50 PM

Raef kissed the top of Anywll's head before resting his cheek there and he did the only thing he could do: hold him.  He held him a little tighter, a little closer, but he didn't speak; 'sorry' only did so much and it wouldn't help. He could only try to be there for Anwyll.

CoyoteLast Saturday at 6:54 PM

“I knew she was bad,” he whispered against Raef’s hair. “I knew she was bad. But she loved me so much. She loved me so much. She was so perfect, I thought. She was so ambitious.”

MinkLast Saturday at 6:59 PM

"...sometimes we love bad people...and sometimes we fuck up..." Raef said, tone soft and quiet. "...it doesn't - it doesn't make it hurt less..." It didn't.  He felt too hot, but he swallowed it down.

CoyoteLast Saturday at 7:27 PM

Anwyll rested his face against Raef. He kept his voice gentle. “Are you talking about me? Am I the bad person you love? The time you fucked up?”

MinkLast Saturday at 7:33 PM

Raef stiffened in surprise, drawing back a little before he pulled Anwyll close again. "No." He shook his head. "No." He repeated the word.  He hadn't fucked up with Anwyll, he knew that to the very depths of his soul. He kissed the top of Anwyll's head. "No..." Softer, gentler. "...I fucked up with...with my kid..." And now he was rotting in the ground because of him.

CoyoteLast Saturday at 7:34 PM

“Tikva?” Anwyll said, sounding puzzled.

MinkLast Saturday at 7:36 PM

Raef snorted quiet amused laughter. "Oh, I hope not..." He smiled a little, but it faded. "I had another kid - Gwydion.  He wasn't good."

CoyoteLast Saturday at 7:38 PM

“How?” Anwyll asked quietly.

MinkLast Saturday at 7:43 PM

"...he did things he shouldn't've...made deals with worse people..." Raef ran his fingers down Anwyll's side. "...he'd do anything to get what he wanted."

CoyoteLast Saturday at 7:51 PM

Anwyll shifted upright to hold Raef. “How old was he?”

MinkLast Saturday at 8:05 PM

"When he died?" Raef asked for clarification. "....mm...150...he wasn't a child..." But he was his child.  He always would be. "...someone killed him..."

CoyoteLast Saturday at 8:09 PM

Anwyll looked conflicted. He stroked Raef’s hair. “When did you lose him? Was it long ago?”

MinkLast Saturday at 8:15 PM

"...no...couple o' months..." Not long at all when you lived centuries. Raef sighed softly.  He leaned against Anwyll; the stroking felt good. "...I miss him..." Every day. Every single fucking day. "...even if he wasn't good."

CoyoteLast Saturday at 8:17 PM

“God. Yes. It’s hard, isn’t it.” Anwyll blinked, tears still spilling. “It’s best she’s dead. But— I miss how doting she was to me. I miss how powerful she was.”

MinkLast Saturday at 8:20 PM

Raef brushed away the tears, kissing Anwyll on the forehead. "...yeah..." Gwydion had been good to him and Aesar...even after Aesar had died, until he left. "...I'm sorry..."

CoyoteLast Saturday at 8:39 PM

“What of yours?” Anwyll whispered. “Who killed him? Another friend of yours? Someone the child hurt?”

MinkLast Saturday at 8:43 PM

Raef shrugged. "...I don't know. I-I found him on a - on a pile of fucking corpses." Cold, covered in slime and filth...alone...his throat tightened and he rubbed at his face.  He didn't know who fucking did it or who left him like that...alone...in the dark...

CoyoteLast Saturday at 8:44 PM

Anwyll held Raef tight. “I’m sorry, my beloved. I’m so sorry.”

MinkLast Saturday at 8:48 PM

Raef wiped his eyes again, stopping any tears before they could fall. "...he wasn't good, but he didn't deserve that..."

CoyoteLast Saturday at 8:54 PM

Anwyll settled deeper into the plush bed at the center of the room. “Tell me something about him.”

MinkLast Saturday at 8:55 PM

Raef followed suit, settling down comfortably.  He had missed this.

"Mmm...he liked mice," he said with a small sort of some. "Used to raise them in Alabaster."

CoyoteLast Saturday at 8:57 PM

“In cages, like humans do? Or free?” Keeping things as pets was such an odd concept to Anwyll. He liked taming beasts, of course— like Raef— but he had no desire to domesticate them and keep them pampered and locked inside.

MinkLast Saturday at 8:59 PM

"Free." He'd find the animals wandering where they weren't supposed to. "Found one in the fuckin' tub once."

CoyoteLast Saturday at 9:00 PM

Anwyll laughed.

MinkLast Saturday at 9:04 PM

The laugh was like a light in the darkness and Raef smiled.  It warmed him to hear it again. "It's funny until you're the one with something fuzzy touching your knee in the water." He chuckled softly.  He tilted his head to look up at Anwyll and reached up to place a hand on the side of his face. "I missed you."

CoyoteLast Sunday at 6:01 PM

"I missed you too." He cupped his hand over the hand on his face. "I didn't think I'd get to see you again, and-- right after I learned who you were, and..."

MinkLast Sunday at 6:03 PM

Raef stroked his thumb over Anwyll's cheek. "...and what?"

CoyoteLast Sunday at 6:03 PM

"It felt so unfair. You were gone for-- hundreds of years. And then-- I got you back, so briefly, and then we were separated again. By my own stupid fucking mistake."

MinkLast Sunday at 6:08 PM

Raef slid his hand further up to run his fingers through Anwyll's hair, drawing him closer. "I told you I was coming for you," he said with a flicker of a smile.  He sighed and turned more onto his side so he could press a kiss to his love's forehead. "...I'm not going to leave you..."

CoyoteLast Sunday at 6:10 PM

"You should have left me."

MinkLast Sunday at 6:14 PM

Raef pulled back a little, giving Anwyll a stern look. "The fuck I should've." The look faded, growing softer. "...when I said I couldn't live without you...I can't.  I need you here, with me." He resumed lightly stroking Anwyll's hair. His heart tightened in his chest; he was tired of losing the people he loved. "...I need you..."

CoyoteLast Sunday at 6:16 PM

Anwyll clasped Raef's hands. "And what of your husband? Your daughter? Wouldn't they miss you?"

MinkLast Sunday at 6:20 PM

Raef squeezed Anwyll's hands.  His gaze dropped. Az and Tikva...losing them, too...but they'd've been safe, looked after...but...but...

Why did it have to be a choice?  Why was it always a choice?

"... that's not fair," he said quietly.

CoyoteLast Sunday at 6:21 PM

Anwyll kissed Raef's hand. "I'm sorry."

MinkLast Sunday at 6:23 PM

Raef bit the inside of his lip.  He have Anwyll's hand another squeeze. "...I just want you...and them..." He dropped his head to Anwyll's shoulder.

CoyoteLast Sunday at 6:26 PM

Anwyll squeezed him tight. "I have, um, a request." For the first time since Raef had known him, he sounded embarrassed.

MinkLast Sunday at 6:27 PM

Raef glanced up, more startled by the tone than the words. "What?"

CoyoteLast Sunday at 6:28 PM

"Can I... meet Tikva?"

MinkLast Sunday at 6:31 PM

He stared and his lips parted a little in surprise.  He quickly recovered. "Yeah, you can." He smiled. "Anytime." He hadn't expected Anwyll to want to meet her...it was....it was nice.

CoyoteLast Sunday at 6:34 PM

Anwyll snuggled Raef.

MinkLast Sunday at 6:37 PM

Raef held Anwyll tight, enjoying the warmth and soft touches.  He had missed this; missed holding Anwyll, touching him, feeling him, just being with him.  He sighed happily as he nuzzled his face in against the demon's neck. "I love you," he murmured, placing a tender kiss on the skin he could reach.  He gave another squeeze and settled in further.

"Mmm...we found your cave," he said after several quiet, happy moments had passed.

CoyoteLast Sunday at 6:38 PM

"You did? Find anything familiar?"

MinkLast Sunday at 6:40 PM

Raef snorted. "You could say that...found the tomb...and the ring."

CoyoteLast Sunday at 6:45 PM

"The-- ring?"

MinkLast Sunday at 6:49 PM

"Mmm...yeah..." Raef squeezed Anwyll. "No one disturbed the body." It had been strange to see.  It wasn't his, but it was...he didn't know. It had made his stomach twist.

CoyoteLast Sunday at 6:50 PM

"Did it frighten you?" Anwyll said.

MinkLast Sunday at 7:03 PM

Raef shook his head. "No." He'd seen enough bodies in his lifetime. "...it was odd...just...weird to see..." He shrugged. "...I took the ring..."

CoyoteYesterday at 2:36 PM

Anwyll rubbed his thumb across it. “I’m glad you have it. I meant to give it to you, if I ever had the chance.”

MinkYesterday at 2:47 PM

Raef hooked their fingers together.  "...mmm...we can go back..." They'd have a lifetime or more together to go wherever they wanted, and he had a few things he had to finish.

CoyoteYesterday at 7:04 PM

“You could come with me, now,” Anwyll said. “Stay with me in my den, here. Pride is no longer a threat to me. We could relax a while. Take a vacation.”

MinkYesterday at 7:11 PM

Raef traced the tip of a finger of his free hand over the back of Anwyll's, thinking.  A break, a vacation...a moment when maybe he didn't have to worry, didn't have to fret...just for a little bit...

...Az would worry, but he could tell him.  Az would understand...had to understand...and he lived with him, saw him everyday and every second he could...and he'd see him again, love him until he couldn't remember him anymore and keep on loving him even after that...maybe take him on a vacation later, too, away from the castle...

...Az would understand...

"Yeah," he agreed with a smile. "...I'd like that..." Then another vacation with Az and Tikva.  He could finally have everyone.

CoyoteYesterday at 8:06 PM

[end]

MinkToday at 5:23 AM

Title: Children and Rings  Summary: Raef comforts Anwyll after getting him safely back to the cave.  They talk about their children and the tomb in the Underdark. Anwyll asked Raef to stay with him for a bit and Raef agreed.