Houses

**Houses** was the fifth campaign held by the members of Flafa. It started on September 2nd, 2022 and ended on November 29th, 2022. It was the third campaign DM'ed by FennekinGalaxy. It featured Kaiju as Anna Sigewulf III, Chris-tian Mothman as Elkos, Lexbomb6464 as Kirie, Grey as Grey Everwyn, Inkunn as Inolia, Sonicario as Zulnut, and Raccoon as Raccoon. Houses is notable for being the first campaign with a player limit and the first campaign with hidden treasures to find in its vignette illustrations.

## Storyline

### Session 1: Rocks, Glocks and Shocks (9/2/2022)

Starting Characters: Anna Sigewulf III, Elkos, Kirie, Grey Everwyn, Inolia

The various kingdoms in the realm of Ikarion all receive a distress call centered in Nox, warning of dangerously hyperactive, almost sentient crystals that have been killing those that try to farm them. The party gathers in their caravan and travels to Nox.

Once in Nox, the party finds someone by the name of MacGregor, and Anna asks him if he knows of Among Us. He says yes. The party inquires about the afflicted stones, and he says he does not know for sure, but assumes that it was some kind of wrathful vengeance from Astona, Nox’s goddess of the moon. Anna asks Lyra, another civilian, why her hair looks the way it does, to which she gets offended. Elkos apologizes for Anna’s rudeness, and the party asks if Lyra knows anything about the stones. She says she doesn’t know anything, but would be willing to help the party fight whatever comes their way. Elkos uses a magic hand to steal a candle from one of the buildings, and the party enters the building to find a lockbox, which they then promptly open.

Descending deeper, Elkos spots a lockbox above one of the stores, in which the party finds a scimitar +1, which gets fed to Elkos’ magic sword. Everwyn disappears for the time being. Anna questions Igor about his moustache and compliments him for it. She asks Mr. Mushroom from Hollow Knight what his thoughts were on the situation, only to be met with a gibberish response.

Descending into the mines proper, the party picks up a few pickaxes and goes on their way. They find a minecart with a few things inside, and eventually rope their way down to the bottom chamber. Inside is the major infected crystal, which, upon being exploded, formed into a large Crystal Guardian to attack the party. After a short while, the ceiling collapses, alongside the rest of Nox’s southeastern quadrant, and the party is saved by a priest who thanks the stars for their safety. Kirie’s curse comes once again and the party gets attacked by demons, them all being finished by Barry’s critical hit.

Anna sends her squadron to investigate Nox’s wreckage, and they find a few crystals from the infection, but they’ve all been stabilized.

Entering Yrven, Grey returns and inspects an oddly familiar helmet in the Yrvenian marketplace. After this, Anna blows out the wax salesman’s candles. Elkos pets an oddly familiar dog that seems to remember him. Inolia relights the candles, and Anna pets the dog as well, with it also remembering her.

Anna asks the metalworker to tell her where the king of Yrven is, and upon being allowed entry into the castle, the king asks for the party’s help in clearing the corruption. Midway through the voyage into the forest, the party’s caravan breaks down, and after a brief stint trying to repair it, they press on further, after loading their junk into the lockbox.

The party ventures into a slaughter scene where a gaggle of whitefolk felled a firbolg. After clearing the whitefolk, the party takes a long rest, before finding a ritualistic structure out in the wilderness. This structure was coated in the symbols Vahl (for body), Nol (for mind), and Fe (for spirit). The party sends Grog into the structure, only for him to be snatched through the portal by the corrupted firbolg on the other side. The firbolg comes through and Anna turns into her titan form to tear off its jaw. Elkos finishes the firbolg with his eldritch blast, turning it to ashes. A shadowy figure enters from the portal to collect the crystals, dropping a black box on her way out, and closing the portal.

### Session 2: Garth's World Tour (9/9/2022)

Starting Characters: Anna Sigewulf III, Elkos, Grey Everwyn, Inolia, Barry, Lyra, Grog

Kirie seems to have disappeared for now.

On a quest to save Grog, the party starts to interact with the fixture in various ways. Anna enters the structure and gets a strange feeling, before punching a brick out, in which it weakens. Grey reslots the brick, and the feeling restores. Grey and Elkos try to fill in the magic of the structure, one of the spells being used being a Minor Illusion of a walking banana.

Out of desperation, Anna chants “Oogidy boogidy oogidy boogidy boogidy oogidy”, after which the portal opens once again. Entering the “lean dimension” as the party called it, Anna calls out to Grog, saying “GROG GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OVER HERE” so loudly that he gets instantly teleported to their location, though unconscious and incapacitated.

The party wakes Grog up with a series of slaps, but only long enough for him to utter two words: “the…demons…”. The party digs a shelter for Grog while they try and patch him up. Anna tries to call out for the demons, saying “DEMONS GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OVER HERE YOU FUCKING CUNT”, to no avail. The party looks around and finds a large island similar to the one they ended up on, but this time with trees. To bridge the gap, Anna transforms into her titan form, grabs Elkos and Grey, and attempts the jump across, only to fall through the void and end up in the sky once again with a Minecraft Nether Portal sound effect. Elkos and Grey use Eldritch Blast to slow their falls after being thrown by Anna, before she repositions and has her angle slowed by Elkos and Grey blasting her upwards. Only then did they realize they left Inolia behind, as well as realizing that Lyra and Barry never entered the “lean dimension” with them.

Anna works to uproot trees and throw them to the island Inolia and Grog are on, only for them to get stuck in the ground in spire formations. Grey finds a small pool of a thick, sludgy purple liquid. Elkos takes a drink before spitting it out, finding it to be blood, blood that burned the roof of his mouth. Grey uses the blood as ink, trying to write the symbols from the structure from before onto the ground, before Anna chants “Oogidie Boogidie” again, opening yet another portal. Grey pokes his head through, finding a thick wooded area.

He exits, and finds a small group of gnomes. He approaches one, speaks to it, asking who he is, only to be met with a response of “OOGDBOOGDABR”. He asks the gnome where he is, only to be met with the response of “ANGOLEHD”. He draws a picture for the gnome trying to communicate, and is given a picture back of some kind of cabin. Elkos and Anna enter through the portal as well, and start speaking to the gnomes. The second gnome of the three speaks to Grey, apologizing for his “retarded cousin”, to be met with Grey shouting “YOU CAN FUCKING SPEAK?!”. The gnomes take the party to the cabin, and realize that Garth, the “retarded cousin” gnome, has a floppy hat. Grey shows the smart gnome, Engelbert, some of the purple mushrooms he’s found, to which Engelbert explains that they are harmless, other than making people glow, and they are a favorite treat of Garth’s.

Anna goes into the kitchen and says hi to Garth, being replied to with “AGADABOOGY”. Grey discusses with the cook various things, including food. After Anna asks Garth for marijuana, he gives her some miscellaneous leaves, none of which being cannabis. After a match of repeating “AAA”s from the two of them, Garth wishes to play a game. He holds out two pills, one red, one blue, and asks Anna and Elkos to pick one each. Anna picks the red one and immediately falls asleep, while Elkos picks the blue one, which is just a sugar pill. Elkos won Garth’s infamous “Pill Game”. While he wasn’t looking, Garth gave Elkos’ sword Viagra, making it straighten out.

After awakening, Anna picks up Garth and hugs him, giving him a Yankee with no brim. She adopts him, despite Garth being a year older than her. The party enjoys their spaghetti and their Wendy’s. Grey uses a bottle of the blood to attempt another portal, before Anna calls another portal by saying “Boogidy googidy goo”. Grog is retrieved from the lean dimension, and Grey collects some of the lean dimension’s sand. The party travels to Yrven to reclaim Lyra, Barry and the caravan. A similar jet of purple light emanates from Pteven. The party returns to Angolad and fights some of the local creatures, with two redcaps being deleted by Grey. Grey successfully tames the owlbear that is there, and Elkos satisfies his craving for wax cubes by stealing one from the pouch in the caravan’s lockbox.

The party takes a long rest.

The party claims a battleaxe +2 from the woods and gives it to Grog, also finding a pouch of a druggie’s mushrooms and pixie dust. Entering Pteven proper, the party finds the market, wherein Anna buys Garth an ALF plushie, to which he cheerfully replies with “BABAGOOBY”. Elkos buys a yurkey sandwich and eats it. Anna instructs Garth to claim the Tech Deck from the roof of the market, which he does successfully after climbing the wall like a spider. Upon being asked how much he likes the Tech Deck, he cheerfully replies with “GOBADOOGIBIDYBA”.

### Session 3: crab (9/23/2022)

Starting Characters: Anna Sigewulf III, Elkos, Barry, Lyra, Grog, Garth, Zulnut, Raccoon

Grey Everwyn and Inolia seem to have left Pteven for the time being.

Venturing beyond the market, the party happens upon a street rat being strangled by a corrupted Tiefling, with a gnome as a witness. Upon being asked for his opinion on the matter, the gnome replies with “Man, that’s crazy”. After a long-winded battle with the corrupted Tiefling, Grog deals the finishing blow to him. After this, Raccoon saves the street rat, and proceeds to fight Elkos due to him not having sustained any damage during the fight.

The party proceeds to Ridgewater due to the rivers running purple, and Anna fishes the spare Gnomecoin™ out of the water. Elkos retrieves Muhammad Ali, Jr., the Bop It out of the water as well, before he makes the same remark he’s known for and leaves. Anna speaks with a local crab, before insulting its mother and shooting it, turning it into a meal for Garth before he returns to his game of Fortnite: Battle Royale. Anna walks up to the man that kicked the Gnomecoin™ and Muhammad Ali, Jr., the Bop-It into the water, and talks to him. After making jokes about the man’s mother, Anna attempts to intimidate him into submission, but fails and he slaps the gun out of her hand. Anna pulls out her hunting rifle and kills the man, before throwing him into the ocean with her Titan form.

The party visits the Ridgewater shopkeepers before Zulnut compliments the potion saleswoman’s tits. Zulnut and Anna perform a stealth operation to steal a harpoon gun, and, with the help of Elkos, all of the money from the potion saleswoman with an illusion of Michael Jackson. Anna steals a familiar golden mask off of the wall and gives it to Elkos. Anna enters a nearby building and opens a lockbox to receive some extra items, including a new sword to feed to Elkos’ sword.

Soon, the fishing boat for Ridgewater finally comes in, but has been commandeered by the haul of corrupted fish, killing the captain. After defeating the fish, the party saves Elkos from death, and a much larger fish eats their fishing boat, also corrupted. Barry, being the quick thinker that he is, comes to the rescue with a fishing boat of his own, the S.S. Barry. He tells the party they will need bait to lure the fish in, and as such, go on a small spearfishing excursion to gather the fish they need. The bait works, and with the help of two Orc aids helping them, the party is successful at slaying the fish. After the fish is transported to the surface of Ridgewater, it has become de-corrupted and safe to eat. Elkos takes a bite of it and gets salmonella due to it not having been cooked yet, while the rest of the party sells the fish.

The party takes the crystal from the fish’s gullet and gives it to Andreas, a former resident of the southeastern quadrant of Nox, to study. In the meantime, flames erupt from the neighboring town of Xenoz, and screams can be heard.

### Session 4: Oh Lordy, That's a Big-Ass Thing! (10/18/2022)

Starting Characters: Elkos, Grey Everwyn, Inolia, Barry, Lyra, Grog, Garth, Zulnut

Upon hearing the screams at the Xenozian walls, the party moves in to investigate. They happen upon a scene of mass destruction and hysteria, wherein several constructs are chasing after an old soldier. They notice the party, and attack them. Eventually, Elkos and Everwyn end up cornered, and Everwyn’s use of Arms of Hadar causes collateral damage to Elkos that brings him to the brink of death. The party is successful in this battle however, and Elkos recovers, though flawed. The soldier thanks them for their service, and warns them that the Exiled One has returned, with her so-called “cursed boons”.

Upon Everwyn questioning why the Exiled One was exiled, the soldier states that she was a former Xenozian soldier named Morticia that went mad after the war, discovering dark, twisted magical “gifts” that she had started to weaponize and experiment with, to the detriment and detest of the Xenozian populace, before she left herself. Everwyn responds with a series of questions to break down his logic for both the exile and his excusal of the party using magic, before the soldier fakes going into a dementia episode. In response, Everwyn blasts a hole in the ground, throws him inside, coats it in black flames and masquerades it as more of the wreckage.

Just after doing this, the party notices a large platoon of soldiers marching towards what seemed like an ordinary house. The party follows, although at a distance, only to witness the soldiers seemingly vanish before reaching the house. Approaching the front of the house, the party sees a number of soldiers standing guard over it, training their guns on them. The party engages in combat with them, looking for answers. After lighting the house they were trying to get into at least twice, witnessing Elkos reach near-death yet again, and using one super-powered harpoon to clear a path, the party enters, finding a number of notes, including but not limited to references to gifts, rebirth, magic blood, some kind of skeleton, a construct blueprint, a notion of taking one’s form, something tied to demons, and a number of magical symbols, including a silhouette of a mythical Sonichu.

After an assumption that the Exiled One wishes to resurrect Sonichu, the party claims Morticia’s old shotgun and exits. They witness Morticia atop a building, cackling at her minions’ successes. She eventually spots the party and leaps down to them, reclaiming her black box before teleporting away in a puff of purple smoke. Said purple smoke brings a destroyed Xenozian tank to life, and it starts to attack the party.

Lyra leaps atop the tank to stab it through the turret, before Zulnut projectile diarrheas to fly up into its barrel, before being fired back out at Everwyn. In response, Everwyn blasts Zulnut away, saving himself but doing additional damage to Zulnut. After a few minutes of battle and non-stop intestinal evacuation, Zulnut’s feces becomes bloody. He lights it on fire, damaging the tank before it rams him and Everwyn. In a last-ditch effort, Garth repels the tank backwards with his arcane abilities, protecting the two of them and flipping the tank over, but not before getting incapacitated from exhaustion after the fact.

Inspired by this display, Everwyn uses his new shotgun as a magical catalyst to make a massive Eldritch Blast at the tank, bringing it to near-death. After another hyper-powered harpoon strike from Barry, Zulnut finishes off the tank with an ice knife that initially misses, but then shatters on the tank, dealing just enough damage to break it down completely.

Just after this occurs and the corruption exits, the party has a new magical node on their maps that marks a new location on them: The Titan’s Grave.

### Session 5: Mad Maze (11/8/2022)

Starting Characters: Anna Sigewulf III, Elkos, Grey Everwyn, Inolia, Barry, Lyra, Grog, Garth, Zulnut

Following the disturbance on their map, the party notes that the quickest path to the Titan’s Grave would be passing through the Lowlands. First, the party takes a stop in Prima’s primary marketplace, stopping in front of two salesmen, a harengon brewer, and a hobgoblin blacksmith that seemed too small for his booth. Anna quickly inquires about the harengon’s use of Facebook, before asking for a potion that makes her “develop”. The harengon, not having any such potion, instead directs her to Nidoea, wherein a potion saleswoman has all sort of cosmetic potions.

Anna goes to the seller and finds out she does have the potion, and takes it without paying, soon having larger breasts than when she entered. The witch, upset at her lack of payment, creates a wall of titties to cut off Anna’s path. Anna, in response, shoots her and steals her supply, the titty wall disappearing simultaneously. Elkos takes a de-balding potion, growing back a full head of hair. The party returns to the hobgoblin salesman, where he laments his plight. Anna gives him one of the breast growth potions, marketing it as a cure to his problem. He grows breasts that make him even more cramped in his stall.

Zulnut returns to the harengon salesman and buys some opium.

Going further out into the plains, the party witnesses a different harengon and a different hobgoblin pointing out an oncoming goblin invasion. Everwyn contemplates recruiting the goblins for their cause, but Anna turns into her Titan form and smashes all of the oncoming goblins into a green paste, getting stabbed by a handful of spears in the process.

After this happened, Zulnut and Anna went into Goblopolis and entered a bar. Inside, they saw a gobliness performing and tied her up, with Zulnut snapping off his cock and knocking her out with it, with all of the drunken goblins being convinced it’s all part of the show. After this, Zulnut tap-dances out of the bar.

Passing through the rest of the lowlands, the party comes across a streaker high on the mist version of the corruption, before he lifts the land beneath him and tries to slam it on the party. After the party attempts to flee, he entraps them in a labyrinth.

The party encounters a friendly reanimated skeleton named Michael, who Anna confused for both Sans and Papyrus. Upon being asked about his media tastes, Anna frees Mike, and he joins them on their escape of the labyrinth. Anna and Lyra go on their own path, fighting a handful of skeletons, before reuniting with the party and finding another squadron of skeletons to fight.

### Session 6: Deconstruction (11/29/2022)

Starting Party: Anna Sigewulf III, Elkos, Grey Everwyn, Barry, Lyra, Grog, Garth, Zulnut

Descending deeper into the catacombs, the party found a much larger skeleton king with a large crown. Seeing this, Anna decides to smack Mike, and attempt to steal his money, of which he has none. In a fit of anger, Anna kicked one of the evil skeletons, shattering its knee and the rest of its body. Anna threatens to steal the king’s crown, but does not act on this threat. Oddly enough, Lyra is the one to land the killing blow on the skeleton king.

Progressing into the Titan’s Grave, the party finds a tall, cloaked figure who calls himself the Reaper. He tells them that he is attempting to clean up the mess that has been made by Morticia, and wants the party’s help. He controls the Titan’s Grave to sweep up magical disasters like this before they get out of control, but something, or perhaps someone, is keeping him there. He promises the party one free wish with no rules if they complete the task. Anna promptly pulls the hood off of the Reaper, revealing him as Clyde Cash. She tells him “Reap my ass”, to which he takes up the offer, removing her ass from her body before giving it back shortly after.

Anna tells one of her soldiers to take care of Garth and make him the new leader in case of her downfall. At the camp the Reaper has set up, Anna says what could be her last goodbye to Garth before giving him a hug. Suddenly, the party remembers the goblin woman Zulnut captured previously, and brings her out into the camp. Her fate is uncertain, and she may have died. She was successfully resuscitated, being unconscious due to starvation. Zulnut feeds her beans on toast to restore some of her vigor. The party tries several methods to bring her with them into battle, but she refuses all options. Everwyn tries to convince her using Suggestion, but misses and instead suggests Garth to join them, much to his dismay.

The party then spots a purple spark flying into the ear of the Titan’s corpse. Everwyn takes Zulnut through a dimensional door to investigate. They land in a ritual inside of the skull, with Morticia arriving just before them. She swarms the duo with a number of constructs before leaving. Zulnut stays behind to attack these constructs, with Everwyn pressing on to confront Morticia. He slams her into a wall before being trapped in some kind of magical prison. Morticia leaves, and Everwyn uses Blink Step to escape. She returns with her black box, using it to corrupt Everwyn, but not without some resistance. As Everwyn is fully under Morticia’s control, Anna and Elkos arrive onto the scene.

Anna tells Everwyn to wake up, and the two have to fight him. Suddenly, Garth arrives, absolutely brutalizing Everwyn before attempting to cast a Wish to save him, to which it fails. He fights Everwyn again, before being blasted by him, having to tap out from exhaustion. He climbs on Anna’s back, and the two of them, alongside Elkos and Zulnut, fight off the corrupted Everwyn. Lyra, Barry and Grog return just before Morticia’s return, after which she sucks the remaining life force from Everwyn’s body out, killing him instantly. She then teleports herself, her constructs, the party, and Everwyn’s body to the caldera of Mt. Poussi, dropping a number of crystals, constructs, and Everwyn’s body into the volcano to catalyze a ritual, before leaping in herself. The heat, energy and raw magic transform her into a corrupted colossus, that was neither man, machine nor crystal. Everwyn’s body floats to the surface, and Elkos reanimates it as an undead minion. Anna enters her titan form and fights the colossus with the aid of the party. Lyra pulled through again, doing heavy damage, before the fight was ended by Grog snapping off Zulnut’s cock and throwing it as a boomerang, being the killing blow. After Morticia has been defeated for good, the corruption fades and Morticia’s body returns to normal, alongside any other corrupted beings and items. Everwyn’s body returns to an inert state after the battle, after which Elkos puts him inside the communal Bag of Holding. Everwyn’s former patron, needing a new host, grants his powers to Garth, after which Anna gives him a pat on the head.

At last, the party uses their final wish to wish for infinite ravioli, which they enjoy.

## Notable Memes

* Lean
* Garth
* Barry getting an insane amount of critical hits
* Lyra being useless
* The titty potion
* The titty wall
* Morticia being a goth gf
* Ravioli

## Trivia

* Houses featured the debut of Raccoon.
* Houses was the first campaign to have a party member limit, with no more than 6 players at one time. This was done to prevent the disaster that was the argument in the first session of the Heist campaign from happening again.
* Houses was the longest campaign in terms of time to complete, taking a total of just over 12 weeks, due to a number of cancellations on the part of FennekinGalaxy for various reasons, as well as scheduling conflicts with the party.
* Houses is tied with Travescot and Gravity Star for the second-longest campaign in terms of session count, with 6 sessions.
	+ They are both beaten by New Nestor, which has 7.
* Houses is the first and only campaign to feature vignette illustrations to illustrate the story, which were mostly phased out by the end due to them creating too rigid of an interpretation of the events occurring.
* Houses' use of magical corruption of people was in part reused from a scrapped campaign made by FennekinGalaxy that instead used a red magic mist to make people aggressive.
	+ This campaign also featured Gnorbitt in a very different role from what he has now.
* Houses features plentiful references to all four of the previous campaigns and other media.