Maizey

> *"I don't give a shit, Pam."*
>
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Maizey is depicted as a yellow ear of corn with bright green leaves/husks as hair. She also has blue eyes. As a hologram, her colors are dimmed down, and she has a mild horizontal striped effect.

## Biography

Maizey is a dedicated, headstrong corncob who will stop at nothing to travel back in time and get her wife Gebra back. She is not afraid to shame others for what they have done, nor is she afraid to express her emotions, especially if she doesn't like or trust someone.

Despite her strong spirit, she expresses matter-of-factly that she would be fine going back to not existing (dying), except that she loves Gebra and is determined to save her.

### Young Adulthood

Maizey invited the Wedding Guests to her and Gebra's wedding in Hawaii. Gebra contacted her brother, Gene, to ask him and the rest of the Risky Fixin's to play at the wedding. Pam, then crashing the wedding, then revealed that most of the Wedding Guests, except Rebecca, Dan, Gene, Mike Soup, the Sausage Priest, and Future Brandon, were her own witch holograms. Pam also revealed that the wedding venue was also a hologram, and that they were actually on a rickety bridge suspended above a volcano. While Pam explained the prophecy, Maizey interrupted her, stating that she didn't care about Pam's stupid plans, and had the Sausage Priest marry herself and Gebra, even though they were both aware they were holograms. Maizey also had the Risky Fixin's play a song, "Relish Life". However, Pam still ordered Baby Brandon to pull the lever off of the bridge. The other Wedding Guests, including Gebra, perished in the lava. Maizey managed to escape the Hawaiian volcano along with Gene and Mike Soup.

Maizey awoke on the island with Gene and Mike Soup. As Gene was having a hard time recovering, Maizey urged him to "get [his] head in the game" and get ready to get revenge on Pam, with Mike Soup's proposed plan that the two accompany him on the *Starship Minestrone.* With Gene, she boarded the *Starship Minestrone* and headed into space for the Graxilon quadrant, to obtain the Bernoulli Converter and go through a wormhole in order to travel through time.

Later, when the *Starship Minestrone*was shot down over planet Tomat-0 by Chili Pirates, Maizey was thrown from the ship and crash-landed a distance away from Mike Soup and Gene. She attempted to contact the *Minestrone* with her frazzled walkie-talkie, but it was unsuccessful. She then met Garce, who seemed surprised by the sight of her, and although she did not trust him entirely, allowed him to guide her to where he said the crash landing of the *Minestrone* was, "three clicks southeast of the Plateau". To get Maizey to trust him, Garce called over another Plupple, Farch, and asked him to demonstrate the Plupple Fatality. When Farch exploded, Maizey, although horrified, resolved herself and doubtfully trusted him. As Garce led Maizey (supposedly) to the crash site, he told his story to her. He then informed Maizey of the troubles occuring back on Earth, say that "some, uh, big evil guy... ate the Moon as an appetizer," and then proceeded to tell her about Doctor Goondis. As he did so, he interrupted himself to warn Maizey of an upcoming pit trap, but was too late. Maizey fell into the pit trap, and into the subterranean Plupple chambers.

Maizey was unable to communicate with the inferior Plupples in the Plupple chambers, and, as a result, was taken to Joblet and Doctor Goondis. Joblet, an elderly Plupple, introduced Doctor Goondis, who had declared himself "both the mayor and the sheriff", and charged her with "various crimes, including allegedly harassing [his] dearest Plupples". When asked what trial Maizey should be given, the Doctor sent her to be tried with a battle with a Beast-Plupple. However, as Doctor Goondis had informed Joblet he wanted to wait and become a bit more "sane" before judging Maizey, Maizey was locked in her Plupple cell, which was guarded by a perpetually-asleep Plupple guard. As night fell, the radio next to the Plupple guard informed Maizey that the Dark Master had destroyed most of Earth. Despite previously expressing that saving Earth was not particularly important to her, she felt horror at the news and regretted that she was seemingly powerless to help. As a "last hurrah", the radio DJ played a ballad from the Risky Fixin's, "Plupple Honeymoon", which encouraged Maizey to keep trying and carry on.

Pam then appeared in Maizey's cell as a ghost, and Maizey angrily demanded an apology from Pam's previous behavior. Maizey shamed Pam for creating her as a hologram without knowing it, letting Maizey "know love", putting fake memories into her brain, and killing her holographic wife Gebra. Maizey ended her rant by asking why Pam was little. Before Pam could explain, the two heard Joblet approaching the cell, interrupting the conversation, and Pam remarked that the environment suddenly smelled like magic. Pam then fled from Joblet, who had not known of her presence, by Apparating out of the cell. Joblet entered the cell and falsely told Maizey that Mike Soup and Gene had died from a feral Plupple attack. After hearing the news, Maizey seemed shell-shocked, and seemed disbelieving of the news at all.

Maizey, upon being brought into the Plupple Stadium to fight the giant Plupple (Moofus), tried to reason with Doctor Goondis, and offered to make a peace treaty. However, she was then shot down, and retaliated by insulting Goondis, telling him that he could "barely string a sentence together". At this, Doctor Goondis and the Plupples countered by dropping some sick beats: "Doctor Goondis' Rap". Afterwards, Doctor Goondis wished her luck, but warned that if Maizey killed Moofus, he would "skin [her] alive". Moofus was then released, and, upon trying to converse with him, Maizey learned that Moofus repeated everything he was directly told. She used this to her advantage by tricking him into the Plupple Fatality, which made him explode.

Moofus' explosion, causing chaos and making the Plupple Stadium crumble, severely injured Joblet. Joblet’s makeup had then streaked, showing his true colors as a peach. Maizey, shocked, offered to save Joblet from falling stalactites, who was nearing unconsciousness, if he would tell her where Garce was headed with Gene and Mike Soup on the *Persica*. Although Joblet refused to, and passed out shortly after, Maizey still decided to save him for her benefit when calling for the *Starship Minestrone* to rescue her. However, before the *Starship* could save her, Maizey was approached by a fully insane and giggling Doctor Goondis, who threatened to kill her. Goondis was later broken in half by a falling stalactite, and, with Maizey standing over his body, was reborn as a chicken. Goondis then serenaded her and the Plupples by singing "Outta My Shell". While the Plupples provided an instrumental break, Maizey and Doctor Goondis came to an agreement that he could come along with Maizey on the *Starship*, under the condition he could help Maizey keep Joblet, "the treacherous peach", in line, when he woke up. Maizey and Doctor Goondis then boarded the *Starship Minestrone* with Joblet’s unconscious body and Smeech.

Upon lugging Joblet into the Minestrone, the crew allowed him to sleep three hours before waking him up from his dream, notifying him that that was a sign they wouldn't hurt him. Maizey explained that although the entire crew, "except maybe Smeech," wanted him dead, they would refrain on the condition that Joblet would tell them where Garce's ship was heading. Doctor Goondis expressed a desire to take revenge on Joblet, notably by pecking him to death, in retaliation to Joblet "[ruining] a large portion of his life", but remained true to a mentioned promise to Maizey that he wouldn't hurt Joblet as long as he helped the crew find Mike Soup and Gene. Joblet confessed that the *Persica* was headed to the O-Nion Station Space Buffet, and upon Joblet pleading that he didn't know any more, Maizey and the Starship set a course for the Space Buffet.

Maizey, Doctor Goondis, Joblet, and Smeech originally planned to sneak in through the O-Nion Station's cargo delivery bay, but once discovered, they lied that they were an average nuclear family that had gotten lost and lost their reservation passes in a wormhole. The sliders Alice and Christopher brought them to the interrogation room and questioned them, to which Maizey claimed that her name was Teresa Matterhorn, that Doctor Goondis was Cecil Ramon, her husband, and that Joblet and Smeech were their children. She also claimed to be a "high-powered attorney," insinuating that she could cause legal trouble for the Station if their reservation was not accepted. Alice and Christopher briefly left to discuss the missing reservation. When they returned, Christopher set the group up with a room and some free "toaster tan" vouchers, and they left to go find Gene, Mike, and Garce. However, before finding them, they were put through the orientation process. The process left them under some type of spell that prohibited them from thinking any kind of negative thought.

Doctor Goondis, Maizey, Smeech, and Joblet found Gene, Mike, and Garce one by one on the Zero-Gravity Lazy River. Doctor Goondis, finding the crew first, made polite conversation with them until Mike Soup eventually recognized him by asking him if he had assassinated the Pope. The two, joyful at their reunion, welcomed Joblet and Smeech into the group, even though Joblet’s crimes had angered Goondis and Soup before the orientation. Maizey found the crew last, and although she had originally planned to tell them something, she admitted she could not remember, due to the orientation process numbing the negative parts of her memory, saying that "You know, after that orientation [they] just went through, [Maizey] just... phew! [She] just [wanted to] chill 'til [she was] dead!"

Weldon Birschrow, checking on the J.V.I.P.s (Garce, Gene, and Mike Soup), and their guests (Maizey, Smeech, Joblet, and Goondis), then alerted them that the Pasta Parade was due to be soon, and that he had reserved the highest float in honor of them all. After leaving, Joblet brought up that he'd never "totally got the download on why the Dark Master wanted [them] here". However, everyone immediately dismissed it and agreed on not worrying about it.

During the Pasta Parade, Maizey was on the J.V.I.P Feel-Good Float along with Garce, Smeech, Doctor Goondis, Gene, Mike Soup, and Joblet. Before the appearance of the Dark Master, Mike Soup mentioned that he smelled chili. While on the float, on request of Weldon Burgereaux, Doctor Goondis shot the Serenity Lights at the crowd, calming them. The Dark Master then interrupted the Parade by taking a bite out of the O-Nion Space Station, killing many of the guests, including Weldon Burgereaux. Before dying, Burgereaux warned the group to run. While the group panicked, Goondis shot the group with the Light, influencing their minds relax and think rationally. However, after being shot with the Light, Garce claimed he felt sick. Joblet suggested Goondis shoot him once more, to heal him, but Goondis refused, saying Garce "[looked] ripe". Garce, then realizing he was possessed by Pam, stated he believed he was going to die, and proceeded to "pop like a balloon." Pam, now free of her prison, proceeded to appear and then scold the group for "frying [their] brains on that pink junk," meaning the group's current addiction to the Serenity Light. Furious and horrified at the death of his son, Joblet swore revenge on Pam. Pam, however, killed Joblet as well. She then explained to the rest of the group that she had appeared to help, and that they needed to "get [their] heads in the game." Maizey agreed, and with that, the group vowed to defeat the Dark Master once and for all.

The group, having very little time, scrambled to make a plan, first wanting to strangle the Dark Master with the pasta they had from their float, but ultimately settled on using the Serenity Light to shrink the Dark Master's bad energy. Before they could fully charge up the Serenity Light in order to use it at its full potential, the Dark Master appeared and killed Smeech. Pam volunteered herself to deal with the Dark Master to buy the group more time, and attempted to kill the Dark Master with a witch blast. The Dark Master held the witch blast in midair, then deflected it at Gene, who was seriously injured and near death. Immediately after, the Serenity Light reached one hundred on its charging power, and Doctor Goondis shot it at the Dark Master, who was shrunk down to his normal size and temporarily incapacitated. After the gang checked in with Gene, the Dark Master called out for Mike Soup, who recognized his voice and identified him as Space-Pope Chili IX. Doctor Goondis urged the rest of the group to grab the Bernoulli Converter off of the *Persica* and run while they still had a chance, finishing his request with the assurance that he and Mike would stay behind to fight the Pope.

Gene, Maizey, and Pam boarded the *Minestrone* with the Converter and prepared to make the jump to hyperspace, coming to the conclusion that they had to leave Doctor Goondis and Mike Soup behind, despite Maizey expressing a desire to wait for them. As the ship prepared to jump, Gene indicated he was getting worse, saying he was "getting a little soggy over [there]". Maizey, scared, asked Pam to try and heal him with her witch magic. Pam complied, but ended up injuring Gene even more through her witch blasts. Gene tried to reassure Maizey, but concluded his own death was imminent. Before he passed away, he sung "Believe Me Maizey," in a final epic ballad encouraging she and Pam to continue on without him, where the O-Nion Station exploded in the background. Gene died seeing Smeech, and soon after, the ship jumped into hyperdrive and initiated the jump to the Graxilon Quadrant.