The Big Boys of Junkerton

Official art by Demi Lardner

## Episode Order

### Next

I've Got A Song As Well (4.03)

 Description

The Heart of Glass; Johnny’s parting gift and a vessel capable of piercing the border ethereal and delivering the Dragon Friends to the wild spaces beyond the Nine Known Worlds and maybe even home… if they can just work out how to pilot it. It’s a brand new season with new challenges and opportunities and a new special guest: Demi Lardner!

This episode features the unnecessarily highbrow contributions of cellist Ange Lavoipierre who is a very good sport indeed.

## Synopsis

The Dragon Friends' ship arrives from having "completed the jump", and they take the opportunity to question Logan. Logan reveals that he is actually LOGAN, the Logistics, Operations, Guidance And Navigation system, and is the AI that runs the ship. The ship, the *Heart of Glass*, was created by Johnny Playstation at the moment of his apotheosis to rescue the Dragon Friends from Freeside. They have apparently spent time exploring the Nine Known Worlds before obtaining the Lance - the orb - which can enable them to leave even that area and enter Wild Space, but their memories were erased (apparently at Freezo's suggestion) as part of the mission to obtain the Lance and they have not properly returned. Logan informs them that the ship must recharge after jumping, and that no living creatures can be on the ship while it recharges, and thus it will deposit them on a life supporting planet. The Friends are teleported out of the ship into a desert, a distance from a shanty town with a large castle floating in the sky, listing slightly, above the town. Travelling into the town, the Friends approach a saloon (with Baston unnecessarily kicking open the swing doors).

While the Friends order milkshakes, Freezo goes over to talk to Ostin Powerful, a goblin frantically writing on parchments in a corner, thinking that she might be a magic user; it turns out that she is working on a map. After Baston fails to intimidate Ostin into handing over the map, she tells Freezo that the town they are in is called Junkerton. The floating castle was previously owned by "big boys" (titans) but they have died out, so the town now fires catapults at the castle to cause parts of it to collapse and spill loot onto the ground for them to collect - although she isn't very successful at it. She has had an idea to gather loot from the castle more effectively, though: fire *herself* and others - namely, the Friends - out of a cannon into the castle to explore it in person. Ostin and the Friends climb into capsules which are fired out of the cannon into the castle. As they explore the castle, Ostin discovers a large titan-sized helmet and touches it; it shrinks to her size and then she disappears. As she does, LOGAN notifies the Friends that somehow the world they are on has been absorbed into the Cradle from Wild Space, and Calzone contacts them to warn them that they are to be hunted down for entering Wild Space. The Friends return to their ship and jump out.

## People

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Freezo
* Bobby Pancakes
* Baston

### Non-Player Characters (NPCs)

* LOGAN
* Ostin Powerful

#### Bestiary

* Goblin
* Titan

## Themes, tropes and running jokes

* Freezo/Baston
* Philge dubs Freezo "The Captain of Fucking Shit Up"
* Kung Fu Baston — Baston kicks a door down with a cry of "This is a job for my FOOT!"
* Canon — referenced when the Dragon Friends encounter a large cannon
* I make an Arcana check - probably more often in this episode than any other

## Quotes

* "It's art if there's a cello." — Edan Lacey
* "Yeah, we got a non-dairy option: *fuck off!*" — Junkerton bartender
* "Did you just kiss Baston? I know he very handsome. If you have crush on him, that okay because we all have crush at one stage. You get to know him, and then you like... 'Oh, I get it.'" - Philge
* "Saloon... map... how one... harness?" - Demi's notes / Ostin's offer
* "Fuck it! New year, new me, I'm gettin' in the cannon!" - Freezo
* "This is *not* what I signed up for." — Ange Lavoipierre, after Bobby suggests inserting an immovable rod into a metal bull's anus as a combat tactic
* "I'm gonna need another drink." — Ange Lavoipierre, after Bobby tries to remove an immovable rod from a metal bull's anus
* "I usually just do...whatever is available." — Freezo injures the fourth wall a bit

## Table Talk

* Alex counsels Demi to perhaps not do a character voice which will wreck her vocal chords, since she has a comedy special coming up. Mentions that this is why she abandoned Philge's raspy voice from the first few episodes of Season 1.
* God/Dave's reference to the Heart of Glass "piercing the *phlogiston* between words" confirms that the season is running in the *Spelljammer* setting where this term is standard for the content of space.
* A bit of side talk about LOGAN being a reincarnation of Logan Paul, embattled dipshit YouTube influencer