Jr.

**Jr.** *(or* **skeelz***)* is the shortest member of Cancer Caw.

Unedited photo of Jr. and Jr. Baby

## Bodily Anomaly

Jr.s physicality is a unique blend of very funny characteristics. The most immediately identifiable feature is his height, where on average is not really short, but is made to appear so for the fact that it is offset by being abnormally wide. This is not simply fatness, but true proportional width. By Max's account, Jr. was stated to look like "Someone brought him into photoshop and used the transform tool on him"

In addition to his hilarious width, this property also gives Jr. a huge, black woman's ass. It appears to protrude far beyond his bodily frame, and seems to take up most of his back. This excess of cake has been a talking point by several members, in which they request him to produce a picture of him "bussin it down", to which he has still not rendered.

## Normal

In comparison to most members of the Caw, Jr.'s average day is the most normal and even-keeled out of any member. His workaday lifestyle and his blow-by-blow recounts of any event that has happened is a simple, yet enthralling experience when it happens. Jr. picking up a pack of Truly/Whitelaw can be extended into a 15 minute long story which somehow results in him becoming nostalgic for something that happened 15 years ago, every time.

Jr. has obtained a rather complete life. He has maintained a position in a decent paying job, is a owner of a smoke-stained home, wife and child. This leads Jr. to be a generally unbothered type, standing in stark contrast of other members who are markedly bitter and angry. This allows him the freedom to feel nostalgic.

Jr. becoming nostalgic is a hilarious happenstance where he will incorrectly remember a period of time or a game, where he will wax on about how good and fun it used to be, where in reality, sucked and was the worse time ever. Diving into this false memory will take him 15-20 minutes, because he has most often had 3-4 Whiteclaws before recounting how playing Gears 2 with Shane was the best days of his life.

## Counter-Strike and Other Games

Jr. has had an affinity for the game "Counter-Strike" and has somehow been immune to becoming sick of it during his entire time of playing. In CS:GO, he has maintained high matchmaking ranks, and has even reached "Global Elite". Arguably, it is said that other members of the Caw deserve it more. Jr. has been playing Counter-Strike without his friends for over two decades.

Jr.s gets off to the fact that his friends want to play games with him. He can often be observed engaging in a conversation with someone, but the moment someone asks him to play a game with him, he will go completely silent, and basically leaves. It is assumed that this is a kind of "Cum Denial" that he derives extreme pleasure from, and essentially wants you to beg him to play a game. The begging is what makes him cum, and even if you are to do so, it is not guaranteed that you will be able to play a game with him.

## Mean

When Jr. is not remembering the past wrong, he is most often blindly insulting members of the Caw. It is caused by the excess consumption of Truly or the other varieties of gross seltzers that he choses to buy. These assaults are typically unprovoked, and take many different forms raging from "Cum Denial" to simple and sustained teardowns of the superficial aspects of a Caw member. He does not mean any of the things that he says, it is merely reflexive at this point.

It is thought that this is a projection of his regret from selling tens of thousands of dollars worth of CS:GO inventory for mere dollars, cheating him out of an early retirement. He now holds Kato 2015 stickers in a delusional hope that they will raise in price.