Talking of the Axes

***Talking of the Axes*** is the eighth chapter of *Winter's Tales*.

## Synopsis

Winter has finally found her groove in her solitary world, but everything is upturned when the very person who ruined her life comes back into the picture. This time, she has a vindictive vendetta that Winter can't shake, leaving her scared for her safety and her fragile autonomy.

## Content Warning

*This chapter contains mentions and visuals of blood, violence, and trauma which can be unsettling to some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.*

## Transcript

*"They delight in the fragile, the fallen ones ride..."*

*"The rumors spread, were demonized..."*

*Rivalry and revenge. Two scarlet phoenixes that burn wing-and-wing, pulsating with malice and sinister intentions.*

*Rivalry arises when a foe takes their aim at someone, the lesser kind, the innocent. The one who never did anything - or did they instigate the brawl? Who was responsible?*

*Either way, rivalries burn like the fires of Centralia. They don't die, and there's no such thing as to live and let die. One wants the other to lose. One wants to win. There's only one outcome.*

*It's a fight to the finish. A violent one that can end in bloodshed. No matter if it's over who wishes to be the best at school, the best at looks, the best at winning crowds over, and the best at everything, rivalries burn until there's nothing left to burn. The fire dies out. The rivalry becomes old and stale, and no one casts an eye to the bickering.*

*But with certain rivalries that, as I noted, end with bloodshed and violence, there also comes a partner of rivalry: revenge.*

*People claim to want revenge for many reasons. A person hurt them personally, or hurt their family, or someone else they loved. They stole something from them. They ruined their life.*

*Revenge can drive people to do some very screwed up things, all thanks to skewed ideologies and dangerous machinations. If not stopped or mediated out, revenge can get someone killed.*

*There's no telling what would happen if a rivalry turned so sour. Someone would go for the kill. Someone could die, or lose a part of themselves for life.*

*And sometimes, there is no turning back from a toxic rivalry and vengeance. Some people like it sweet. Some people like it hot.*

*As for me, I got a rivalry I never even asked for. I can't even classify it as a rivalry; it was a foe versus a foe, and a dangerous, high-stakes battle of fated enemies.*

*I once told somebody that death would do us part. We met again, alive and well, and things were different. So different that my head would spin, and my heart would pound, and my body would melt into the concrete of the sidewalk.*

*One action had turned her so toxic. Poisonous, lethal, and a loaded gun ready to shoot the fatal bullet through the center of my heart.*

*At first, it was all childish, petty wars with words. Just revenge bullying.*

*But the girl was a gun, and before I knew it, she was done. She found the gasoline to her fire.*

*You won't see the full extent until later... but to her, revenge was the sweetest nectar of all.*

*She'd do anything to have me vulnerable and at my weakest. She might have not been flat-out cynical yet... but take this chapter as a warning:*

*Even the brightest stars will lose their spark.*

Spring traveled on at a sluggish pace, and my journey alone through the cavernous depths of school continued. The end was not yet in sight, but in weeks, less than fifteen of them, to be precise, I'd cross the finish line and escape.

Oh, the *horror* would *finally* be over, and I'd be free to be a recluse all I wanted from society.

But not yet. Time would not be bent to my will, and it'd tick out on its own.

In the meantime, the warmer spring air enabled for the dominion of photosynthesis, and the trees regrew their leaves, bright green and perky. The afternoon sun was refreshing from the cold, bitter frost from before, and going outside was more of a dreamier experience.

Flowers were in bloom *everywhere*. Birds chirped, squirrels and chipmunks left acorns and assorted nuts behind, and at times, I heard the distant bark of a fox, elusive, but never too far away.

The Piney Woods was *home*... and I was *loving it*.

*This* was *home* and would *always* be my home... I had to show my gratitude for it being so accepting toward a vagrant little human with a ginormous imagination and a grudge against the world.

I gave back what it gave *me*: *life*.

*Hope*.

I planted seeds in sunny areas, some of these being Pacific bleeding hearts - Mom's blessing, I've said this more than a million times by now. If given the water and sunlight necessary, more flowers would bloom, and with more flowers came more dispersing of seeds.

The cycle would go on, and the Piney Woods would be a flourishing ecosystem for years to come.

Other plants weren't so lucky, growing in the shade, the shadows stunting their growth. I gave them hope with some bottles of Dejà Blue (because Haggen was seemingly running out of Fiji every few weeks).

*Don't worry, my little flowery friends. I was hopeless, just like you... but even in the shadows you can learn to have hope and grow...* I thought to myself, sitting under a shady tree with my copy of *One of Us Is Lying*.

Wow, that book sure has been stuck to me like Elmers, hasn't it? My teacher hadn't gotten enough of it and wanted to do a *second* project on it in the *second* semester. More to come on that.

Going around the Piney Woods, spreading seeds, saving flowers, and freeing buds trapped in the undergrowth and pine needles, gave me so much *joy*. *Abundant* hope, stockpiling onto the raw hope Rufie had handed me.

It hadn't been many weeks, but I had already begun to miss Rufie and hoped he'd stop by again. That little hummingbird was always pecking away at my heart... he'd have it forever.

I was doing the *duty* I had *sworn* to do when I was younger, happier, and naive...

I would *make* my own *sacred* woods. *Protect* these woods. *View* it as my home and come to find it as my greatest ally of all.

The innocence of my childhood, the days of having a soulmate... were *gone*.

*Destroyed*.

A somber look crossed my face.

Someone should have been beside me right now, and I should have been in a house. An *actual* home, with the love of my life, carefree and young again.

She chose to betray me instead, and I was left to sweep up my memories, carry them on my back, and bury them here, in the neck of the woods, where they and I wouldn't be discovered.

Those sacred woods me and her promised to build were built, but just with me. I didn't need *her* when she clearly prioritized herself over her girlfriend.

Gloomy and somber memories aside, at school I was doing surprisingly well. I had gotten a bit better (but was *still incredibly terrible*) at Spanish and math, and had come around in my other classes, warming up to boring lectures and videos with alarmingly annoying voiceovers.

History was *never* a bore, though, and I relished in just how fluid and laid-back Mr. Naecher's lessons were. Thank the *heavens* history exists.

A bright spot in a school cloaked in blackness, which I had utilized to my own advantage.

In English, as aforementioned, we were working on another *One of Us Is Lying* project - describing how the overarching theme of the book has consequences on real life. We had to pick a certain theme or topic found in the book and had to write an essay expanding on that theme and connecting it to the real world.

Originally, the project was a deadbeat to me, and when served, had the appearance of a flattened McDonald's patty without the flavoring.

I mean, *seriously*? Ending off the year with an *essay*? Woe is me, I can't write essays even if my life *depended* on it. I was already *awful* at explaining things that weren't related to nature or Varien, and I couldn't see *how*, of all *things*, *time* and *place*, *One of Us Is Lying* linked to the real world.

Lying is bad? Lying harms others? Lying causes you to lose friends? Those were boring and elementary, and Mrs. On would stick a jade pin into my throat if I picked something commonly viewed as *childish*.

I flipped through the book, dog-earing pages and reading through mundane content, hardly batting an eye to it until...

*Janae and Maeve*.

I was *blown away*.

So, I don't exactly remember the storyline, but to the best of my knowledge, there was this homecoming dance and a ton of paranoia. Janae and her pal Maeve had sorted through phone records, but it was for naught. Cue this flashback and a ukelele, and a guy saying that he wants to cut things off with Maeve.

The memories deeply upset Janae, and they ran off with Maeve running after them. They want to push her away, but can't, and this attachment wells... an attachment I've seen *before*.

I saw the signs, and my eyes would widen when I kept on reading, observing that Janae hated everyone in the world *but* Maeve. Maeve had caught their *eye*, had made them feel a *spark*.

A spark that when lit, would make a *flame*.

Maeve was fascinating. She made them smile. They didn't even find Maeve annoying when she pursued them.

The two were a *perfect match*. Two halves of a heart healing to make a locket of gold. And through tears, Janae made everything official.

All it took was an *emotional* profession, a gasp escaping from my lips, and a gift delivered with an electric touch of a hand in a dimly-lit hallway.

The very *second* I read the scene where Maeve and Janae kissed, I felt something in my heart. A *spike* piercing through the outer edges.

*This project isn't so much of a disaster now...*

Janae and Maeve being beautifully queer like I was... finding love when I found love before... my heart was *aching* with pain, bitter and acrid from my trauma... which was making my eyes burn and my body shake, but *sweet*.

I could write about how their relationship was important and vital for representation in the world.

I *would*.

From then on, I was a fan of *One of Us Is Lying*, and in my spare time walking around school, I'd read it, wandering into the land of rainbows, serenity, and Janae and Maeve running a thousand miles and navigating hell to be with each other.

I'd work on my essay, writing furiously and hard and then revising. My hand was covered in pencil graphite and pink from writing, writing, and writing *again*.

Who cared? I was gonna pass this class and sit my ass down and be proud of it.

May was approaching. May would mean the end of the school year and *victory royale*, but not before the bane of *every* middle schooler's existence.

The *dreaded* final test.

The *behemoth*. The *monolith*.

*Final exams*.

We had a *lot* of work under our sleeves to do, and a ton of studying and practice. In every subject of the semester, in every way, shape, size, and form.

If we didn't pass, we'd have to do the year over again. This was *fifteen percent* of our grade.

There was no time for fun, games, and venturing to the jungle. There was no time to pick our poisons and beef with the seventh and eighth graders.

We were *going* to war, and the draft was in session.

Like the others, I worked *hard*, until my body was sore and achy and desired nothing but rest under the stars. Sharpening my skills in Spanish, forcing myself into using Babbel to *learn*, *learn*, and *learn*.

I beamed with pride when the app told me I had spoken something correctly. Worthy of a stream of *Ancient & Arcane* or *MPHBG*.

I cracked down on a packet of math problems, struggling but refusing to use the internet for answers, and obeying all instructions in class.

Exams were the most grueling way to end the school year, especially after the classroom parties to celebrate our achievements. God, I did not want to take part in paper hell.

But I *had* to. I had to get out of the school year - a *hectic*, *traitorous*, *it-doesn't-come-as-it's-advertised* school year - *alive*.

The ruse had to be kept in place, and the show *had* to go on. This magician was going to keep pulling cards out of her ass to get out of school and to *summer*. The gateway to *heaven*.

School was also going swell because, from time to time, I'd stop by Rex's office to speak with her about the state of affairs, and she'd often share tidbits of news to me, keeping me well versed on the happenings at PMS.

One meeting dropped some *surprising* news on me... news I didn't expect to learn so *swiftly*.

It was a breezy, cloudy afternoon when the end-of-day bell rung, and I slunk into the main hallways of the school and into Rex's office. I found her room and gave three light raps on the door.

"Come in, please!" she called warmly from the inside, and I opened the door, closing it behind me without a scrap of hesitation.

"Ah, Winter!" Rex greeted, getting up from her desk and pulling a chair out from a corner. "You look *so much healthier* now!"

"Yeah," I agreed. "Your friend's been supplying me well."

"She definitely has. You're so much more animated than you were when I first saw you... to think that you nearly *died*..."

"I tried to deny it, but you were honestly right. Without you, I'd be dead and alone, holding onto a veil of my imagination..."

Rex nodded, solemn fog flashing across her blue eyes. "Mmm... how are you doing?"

"Tired. Exam preparations," I muttered, rolling my eyes and sitting back in my chair.

"Oooh, that's a common mood I see at PMS. Children mope about not passing exams, then they pass just fine. They just need some nudges in the correct direction- *oh*! That's right! Winter, I have some news to inform you of..."

I cocked my head and an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Rex invited me over to where her computer was, keeping me close by her side, and she had focused on the screen. "I had meant to share the details with you earlier, but Winter... this is about your father."

I tensed, feeling my neck hairs bristle. *Father*.

That *vile*, *sinister* man corrupted by obsession with religion. The guy who vowed to *love me*, *protect me*, and mend my wounds, to stay with me when we lost Mom, revealed to be a *filthy* liar willing to disown the very thing he loved for being *unique* and *queer*.

Father was a *bastard*. An illegitimate parent. Someone so *cruel* and full of *dirt*, one I didn't *deserve*.

Now what had he done? Was he a cheap sack of pus crawling back to apologize at my feet, begging for his long lost daughter to come home?

"What about Father?" I demanded gruffly.

"You're never going to see him *again*," Rex responded. "They arrested him days after I filed a report with the evidence of what he did to you, alongside a few other private details I caught. Authorities were startled by his violent behavior, so they went for a speedy trial and convicted Edwin of child abuse and attempted murder. He got *thirty years* in prison, Winter! *Thirty*!"

I gasped, facing Rex with jaw-dropping *astonishment*.

For *once*, justice had prevailed in my life, and the court of law had found Father guilty of trying to kill me. He'd be *rotting* for thirty years in prison, and I'd be *away* from him.

The nightmares of him coming back for me in my nightmares, *hunting* me down, would *cease*.

A *chain* that had been hidden and wrapped around my thigh, *broken*.

"Oh my god," I whispered. "He's... he's *gone*."

"He's gone," Rex affirmed, smiling.

"May he spend the rest of his life rotting in hell, where his corpse will only be consumed by the fires of his own hatred."

"Amen to that."

Father going to prison also meant that my backup plan of using a relative's name on my report card was in the clear for use. Steph had *not a clue* that I was using her name to pass my report cards through the sleazy attendance lady and through staff, but she was in her early twenties and more than capable of fictionally taking care of her runaway cousin.

A page ripped right out of a storybook, then flushed back down the toilet.

Rex, as a safety measure, made sure that Steph wasn't connected to school emails. She never found out about her cousin's wicked forging skills and marks for effort.

Bada bing. Bada boom.

To this day, I'm still shocked as to how much Rex was willing to shatter and bend the rules to protect me. She was the *principal* of PMS. THE PRINCIPAL. She *prided* herself on rule-following and was so adamant on that she had, for years, donned the nickname of the "T-Rex."

When encountering a child destroyed, frightened, and weary of the world, she ignored those rules to keep her safe, to help her start the healing process, giving her a lifeline for survival.

I was so *grateful* that Rex had done what she did. I had no regrets trodding on this fine line between the law and following my heart.

My dreams were becoming livelier and persistent. The cloud of my dreams were expanding, and not a single forboding axe hung over my head.

Why should I worry? I was having *everything*, and this waking dream was getting bigger and *better*.

My hopes were through the *roof*.

However, even in the vast expanse of a waking dream, there's still a *nightmare* under the radar, avoiding detection akin to me. It was out of sight and out of mind, journeying in its own quest alone, and creating another dream where there wouldn't be enough repellent to drive it back.

Just like that, in the blink of an eye, in the thud of a heartbeat, I was *snared* in the trap of *my enemy*.

It was a cloudy afternoon when school dismissed, and I stepped outside, peering up at the gray sky. Minimal rays of sun poked through the blobby clouds, but that wasn't to last for long, as soon, it would start raining.

With rain, life came, and the Piney Woods would receive another round of Mother Nature's nourishment. I, meanwhile, would be curled up inside, because I hated the rain and *still* (*still*) thought it made me sticky and gross.

I had to hurry back to the cabin, punctuality in check - but today, I was going at a leisurely pace, nose stuck in *One of Us Is Lying*. I let my heart guide me on the path that led to home.

I was rereading the part where Maeve ran after Janae to comfort them, eagerly anticipating their electric love to glow and shine.

*Odd how it was advertised that they had different love interests...* I noted, feet scuffling on the concrete. The wind picked up, and a stray pine needle clattered to the ground nearby.

A rainstorm was coming in. Hurry up, Winter! Go! Run! You loathe the rain!

The leisure prevailed - it was a *terrible* mistake.

My heart fluttered as I read the part where Maeve held Janae's cheek, and a blush crept across my cheeks, tinting them a rosy pink. I squealed.

*Kiss kiss kiss PLEASE kiss,* I begged.

How I'd dream of having a girl to kiss, someone I could love again...

Suddenly, I bumped into something fleshy and warm - *another student* - and my copy of the book landed on the ground with a hard *thump*. Instinctively, I dived for it and picked it up, tucking it back into my backpack and sneaking a glance at the person I collided with.

"Sorry, I-" Once my mouth opened and my eyes locked on her, *I fell deathly silent*.

She stared back at me with widened, shocked amber eyes, glinting with familiarity, her black bun ever refined, combed, and tightly tied back.

My cheeks stung.

I *gasped*.

*I was staring at Daniela Burton Vunquist.*

Daniela was *startlingly* different from the last time we had crossed paths, sworn that death would do us part. She was bulkier and muscular, showcased through the sleeves of a light blue sweater, and her legs had gotten muscular too. Her colorful apparel had shifted to the blue sweater and black jeans and boots.

Daniela stared at me, and her stunned disbelief eased into a slick grin. "Oh, what have we *here*?" she asked, rhetoric effortlessly sliding off her tongue.

My heartbeat picked up its pace. Something was amiss. Something wasn't *right*.

*I shouldn't be here right now.*

I was wasting *valuable* seconds standing here like a dumb pigeon walking across the street. I was risking confronting Daniela, the person who *ruined my life*.

Stood there as Father nearly murdered me.

Watched me suffer, plead for her in agony.

Lied to me. Ripped me to pieces.

Tainted all of my happy, purest, *special* memories with despair, darkness, and isolation.

*Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump*.

*Get OUT of here!* I hissed at myself, turning away and beginning to hastily walk into the Piney Woods.

"And **where** do you think *you're going*, *McCormick*?"

An icy knife struck *right through* my heart.

I gasped, freezing and clutching my book to my chest.

That did *not* sound like Dani.

That sounded like a *threat*.

*No, that can't be accurate... Dani NEVER spoke like that.*

My heart was crawling into my throat. *Don't turn around. Don't face her. Just walk away.*

But my feet were broken and immovable, and I was *paralyzed*.

I was giving Daniela what she *wanted*.

"Don't play *pretend* and believe you can *ignore* me, Winter. **Turn around**."

I gulped, sweat dripping down the back of my neck. I *still* couldn't move.

What was Daniela *doing*? We broke up. We should have nothing to do with each other.

She had enough, and I heard her stomp her boot onto the concrete, startling me out of my flesh.

"Turn. The. Hell. ***AROUND***, you blasted snake-eyed **coward**!"

Her tone was so *loud* and so lined with *malice* that I shrieked and *finally* faced her.

Her amber eyes were on *fire*. They were *burning* with a fire that was only rising *higher* and *higher*.

"*There* we go. That wasn't too painful, *was it*?" Daniela questioned, her smirk expanding, and I squeaked, closing my legs together and quivering.

My heart was making a *ruckus*. My chest was hurting. I had to *flee*. I had to *run*. Emotions swirled and rose in me, but couldn't escape from within me.

I should have been defiant and held my ground. Nothing came out.

I was *useless*.

"You told us that *death would do us part*," Daniela reminded me, moving so close to me that her nose nearly grazed mine, and I winced. She pushed her face *closer*, testing her limits with my fragile body before I'd snap. She was looking for the *borderlines*.

"But it appears that you were *wrong*. *Laughably* wrong. I've been *searching* for you for *months*, *McCormick*. To have a *chat*, catch up on what we've *both* been missing... and I've quite *apparently* been out of the loop on *you*. I thought trapping you would be a *piece of cake*, but oh, you were *sophisticated*..."

"W-What d-do y-you want???" I demanded in a stutter, putting one hand in my back pocket and desperately gripping the knife. I was still on school grounds, and I couldn't risk pulling it out against Daniela.

I didn't *want* to harm her... but *everything* in my brain was telling me that this was *not* the girl I once viewed as my immortal flame.

Daniela ignored my question, sauntering around me in a circle, and my ice-blue eyes tracked her movements.

"Sophistication is only so *pretty* for a limited time. Your shine began to *rust*... and then you became *foolhardy*. Having the *gall* to approach me? You must have gotten some *guts* deep down from where you *deposited them in front of me*. You're *clever*, *Winterlyn*. I got to give you credit... but you can't **cheat me now**!"

All of a sudden, she grabbed me by the shirt collar, and before I could scream for help or kick her off, she *slammed* me into an adjacent tree.

*Violently*.

Pain *seared* the back of my head, causing me to yelp and groan, and the world *spun* in circles. The clouds got darker and darker, and I saw stars, multiple colored flecks bouncing as if they were disjointed pinballs.

My bearings regrouped, and the vertigo stopped. When I blinked open my eyes, they met *flaming amber ones*.

For a *third* time, I gasped, sucking in air and sputtering. Daniela was pressing down on my throat, and from the way her fingernails were scraping my skin, she was desiring to *squeeze* it and push her limits even further.

She wished to *cross every line*.

"Not going to squabble and defend yourself? *Perfect*. I *always* like my prey when they're overdosing on their own *fear*... bonus points if they've broken into a *feverish sweat*."

"D-Dani... let *go*!" I retorted, straining to get her hand off my shirt collar, but she didn't budge.

Her eyebrows furrowed, and she growled. My eyes dilated in *trepidation*.

"If you **call me** by that ***revolting***, ***treasonous name*** again, I'm going to **bury your bony body head first** in the *very dirt* we **stand upon**," she warned, maliciously tightening her grip and slamming me against the tree again.

That was *clear*.

That was a *threat*.

In that moment, seeing the way she gave a devilish smile, something I'd see in the abyss of my nightmares, and seeing the the despotic glee that flickered in the fires of her orange-amber eyes, I *realized* it.

With horror, with dread, and with *ugly forboding*...

*This is NOT Dani.*

*This is a witch in sheep's clothing.*

Daniela had the same epiphany, and she laughed. She *was* a witch, and a *vile* one who was feeding off her sordid behavior.

"*Now* you're seeing how **I** feel. How does it feel to revel in *fear*, Winter? Feeling like you've been *banished* to hell and burned every time you **don't** lick Satan's boots? *You* were the one responsible for putting me there. **You** took advantage of me. You had me **dreaming** of everything we could achieve *together*, and you **RUINED IT**!"

*I ruined it*.

No! That was *blasphemous*! Daniela should've known as well as I did that *she* caused the breakup. *I* wasn't the one groveling for Father's attention and coming out brazenly - she *forced* me to *against* my will. Daniela was deflecting the blame *onto* me. The muscles in my face ached.

There's a curse, a barricade

Like an addiction that I can't break

I watch myself lose my autonomy (autonomy, autonomy)

"Daniela, why are you being *cruel*? *Aggressive*? I don't *understand*!" I pleaded. "I *didn't* want us to break up. I *loved you*! Deflecting the blame onto *me* isn't going to heal a broken heart. I'm *through* with you. *Move on*, and let me live my life!"

Daniela snorted. "Please, why *should* I move on? Let me draw the line in the *sand* here, *McCormick*." At once, she let go, and I scrambled to my feet, backing several steps away from her. I was pinning my arms half-defensively to my chest, and I was panting with fear, masking it with my own aggression. I had to be ready to fight her - my *ex* - if she pounced on me again, and the thought was making me *ill*.

It's so appealing when you get a taste

Overwhelmed, you've never been before

"Since you're clearly too *ignorant* to receive the facts, I'll be *blunt*. *You* abandoned me and *ran away*. You *let me suffer* at the hands of people who jeopardized *my safety*. You tore *everything* away from me and put enough salt in the wound to *keep it bleeding*. There's **poison** on my tongue. It's on yours, too. You're a *snake*. You carry *poison* with you and **inject** it into people you deem inferior.

"You ***poignant naive shill of a snake***! You've lost the **right** to love me the minute you decided to ***abandon me***. You're dumb enough to believe **running away** will kiss your troubles bye-bye. It *won't*. You may have outrun me for nearly all of the school year, but you *won't* now. Go on, Winter. Play cloak and dagger like you *always* do. I'll **outsmart** you. And that is a ***promise***."

I trembled, breathing coming out in rasps, and my heart was *exploding*. Things were spiraling out of control and *bad*.

But all your efforts go to waste

Left with my heart on the floor

I didn't have a way to counter Daniela. I *couldn't*. She was domineering and *fearless*, and I was a coward that sacrificed my ground to her. I was *weak*, and my ex *knew it*. She knew where to strike me, where to bite, and where to douse me in more *misery*. She *hated me*.

Why didn't she *remember* who she *used* to be? I fondly recalled someone who loved me, stood by me in my depressing hours, and snuggled with me, secretly letting me tidy and play with her fluffy black hair. The secret meetings, the discussions, the love we shared. Everything. What had *happened* to *that*? Where had *Dani* gone?

"Daniela, you were never like this. You were *never* callous or a *bully*. Don't you *remember* who you were? My soulmate? You *loved* me once. You loved adventures and nature. You *loved* bragging about how talented you were. What *happened* to that you-"

I was *immediately* struck down - and another dagger went through my heart.

'Cause when you fall all the way

You can't stop the storm

"***THAT ME IS DEAD***!" Daniela roared, erasing the gap between us and pointing at my chin, hauntingly close to scratching my throat and making her threat of burying me under real. "Death *won't* be doing us part. You aren't *slick*, and you *won't* be acting coy with me, *Winter*. The old me? Pah, she was *weak*. Weak as *hell*. But look at me now. I have *power*. I have *respect*. I have *everything*. And you? You. Have. **NOTHING**!"

She backed away, her stare lethal and intimidating, and I stumbled backward. Tears were at the rim of my eyes.

My ex was *despotic*. She was *evil*. And she wanted me to *remember* that I was *worthless*.

"Get *lost*," I snarled, my voice cracking at *lost*. "Mind your own business, Daniela. I hate you just as much as you hate me."

Watch my heart go to waste

I've loved and I've lost

Daniela rolled her eyes, then laughed sarcastically. "Okay. Fine. I'll go. This meeting is eating up my free time, anyway... but let this *encounter* serve as your only *warning*, **Winterlyn McCormick**. I *will* cross paths with you *again*. You are *lucky* I was *lenient* with you *today*... because I **will** take you down *someday*. And I'll do **anything** to have it happen."

"We aren't **RIVALS**! *Get the hell AWAY from me*!"

Daniela took a step, then gave me a side-eye, facing the street. A shiver crept up my spine and wrapped around my throat.

"You're correct. We *aren't* rivals... but you're *my enemy*. Consider it *done*."

Then, Daniela turned and headed back in the direction of PMS. Blood warmed the tips of my ears, and finally, my walls fell around my eyes. Tears streaked down my cheeks, hot and salty.

My heart was *throbbing*, mind whirling. Daniela was *my enemy*. My *worst* enemy. She'd stop at nothing to humiliate me and tear into me savagely. She had already achieved that on this afternoon.

A drop of rain fell, and I took off running, the drops masking my tears.

This was only the beginning of me losing my autonomy. One by one, and piece by piece, Daniela's promises and threats would become a twisted reality.

The days following were *grievous*.

Anxiously, I headed into school, my eyes scanning *everywhere* and *everything* frantically. Daniela would be *watching me*. She was *hunting me*. She could be *anywhere*.

She'd drag me to the floor in front of everyone to mock me. She'd grow more violent. She'd humiliate me and set the life I'd forged for myself through thick, thin, mud, and traumatic memories on *fire*. She'd douse the arson with countless vendettas. Our first meeting was my *only warning*.

If I wasn't even more *hypervigilant* than I already was, I'd be *hazed*.

The days spun by in a *blur*. I'd see black hair in the hall and turn, gasping, jumping, stumbling, only to see that it was just another *stranger*.

People who weren't familiar with *me*. *Not* Daniela.

'Cause when you- (when you, when you)

You can't- (you can't, you can't)

Brooms and janitor equipment, blurred and forming the shape of a blue-sweatered *demon*. Her voice, echoing around the halls, stalking me with every movement I made.

*Come out, come out, Winterlyn! I know this school like the back of my hand!*

*Turn around and meet me eye-to-eye. What, are you too meek to fight? Insolence is weakness!*

I couldn't *rid* Daniela. She was *in* my shadow.

*You're never escaping me, McCormick.*

*Coward! You always run. You always hide!*

*You won't get away with your shadow play...*

*Stop it!* I hissed, shaking my head, but the delusions only intensified.

I was seeing Daniela *everywhere*, and even in class, I was paranoid she'd strut in, trill a lie about me, and then have *everyone* laugh at me.

She wanted me *naked*. I could *never* give her such a deadly idea.

I had given her a *hint*, but not the full dosage.

But my paranoia was beginning to do my bidding, and soon, Daniela's path would intersect with mine - and this time, *within* the heart of the building.

If you invest so much of yourself

Sometimes it's hard to just let it be

On a passing period, I was making my way to the stairwell for history when I saw her and froze. Her shoulder *roughly* hit mine, and I went flying back, feeling my heart swelter and beat just as fast as a hummingbird's.

"Best advise yourself to *watch where you're going*," Daniela trilled, eying me over a muscular shoulder. "A little slip, and your *ornate reputation* will be the next thing I'll drop to the *floor*."

Some eyes turned to me, but I had pushed past them all and ran *far* from Daniela, panting by the time I collapsed in my chair.

Two weeks hadn't even passed, and she had found a way to embarrass me *to a whole entourage*. The more she kept at it, the more people would *harass me*. I'd be *barren* and *milked* of my information, my secrets up in the wind. Then, I'd be *imprisoned* in foster care.

I came so close to throwing up in history that day. I was *ill*. Beyond *sick*.

'Cause when the lines are blurry, our love gets greedy (our love gets greedy)

After school, my stress levels wouldn't plunge back down, and I paced, staring at my phone, locking my door on and off again, drawing the small curtains over my windows. I could not *breathe* or *blink* for a second without seeing *her*.

Staring at me.

Matches in her hands.

Setting fire to me.

Watching as I burnt to ashes at her feet.

And I look at the mess we made

You always needed more

I held my pocket knife in my hands, knowing of what damage the blade would produce if it came into contact with an enemy.

Daniela *was* my enemy. But could I bring myself to *ever* harm the person who had loved me for a *year*? Who promised to kiss me when we were thirteen? I *loved* Daniela once. We hated each other now. She wanted revenge. I wanted peace.

There was never peace in my life. I was foolish and selfish - I'd only know *cloak*, *dagger*, *out of sight*, and *out of mind*.

And now my heart weight's heavy

I lose my autonomy

I'd go to sleep across several nights, tossing and turning in bed, and when I'd finally fall asleep, I'd wake up in a white void. Shadows would approach me, laughing at me with exaggered smiley faces and depressed faces, laughing at me.

They'd stack upon each other, like blocks, and form a malignant creature with *beady* red eyes.

They flickered, flared, and *shimmered* when latched upon my puny body, bruised and in tatters.

It'd laugh at me, unintelligible at first, but then transitioning into a high-pitched, shrill, *villanous* laugh rooted in infamy. It'd go on until static would roar, making my ears *bleed*.

Autonomy

I'd wake up. Daniela wasn't there. No shadow demons were there.

Just a dream. Or was it?

Autonomy

*Because everywhere I went, Daniela would follow*.

I couldn't stop *seeing her*, *imagining* her. Behind me. In front of me. Beside me, her hands wrapped around my neck, pulling me down to *hell*. She had me wound in *chains*.

Autonomy

I'd see her in every passerby with black hair. Staring at me. Amber eyes peeking through the pitch-black shadows.

Someone staring at me in the halls. In class.

Autonomy

Objects that bore her face. Her *grace*.

Brooms. Posters. Humans. Stands. *Everything*.

Autonomy

Everything looked like *Daniela*.

This madness *wouldn't* stop. I kept descending down a stairwell - *pushed* by Daniela. She was walking me on a *leash*, proudly, her chest puffed out, and I was reduced to tears and humiliation.

And I couldn't decipher between her *real* appearances and her *fictional* appearances. She was *too terrifyingly omnipresent*.

'Cause when you fall all the way

You can't stop the storm

I started to see her trotting through the halls, glaring at me, brushing up against me and leaving her mark behind. Reminding me of my place, that I was her *prey*, and forever *her enemy*.

She wished for me to beg on my *knees*. She wanted to see me in *pain*.

I couldn't give her that reward, but her every appearance, every glance, and every smirk and scowl, she cut deeper and pushed the needle deeper in my heart.

Watch my heart go to waste

I've loved and I've lost

She caught me by the shoulder on the way to gym once, sharply pushing me aside. "We *lost* for a *reason*," she snarled before hurrying off, and I'd bolt in the opposite direction on the verge of crying.

I couldn't *cry*. Crying was a siren song and would make everyone dogpile me, *demand* what was wrong with me. Oh, nothing's wrong, I'm dumb and delusional and *seeing my traitorous ex-girlfriend everywhere*.

None of this would even be remotely *shaken*. I was *haunted*.

'Cause when you- (when you, when you)

You can't- (you can't, you can't)

I was *tired*, purple lines under my eyes again, and my body was hollow, gutted clean by Daniela and her vengeance-caving hands.

I couldn't stop this raging storm. I couldn't stop this bloodthirsty quest for revenge.

I was *hopeless*.

Watch my- (watch my, watch my)

I've- (I've, I've)

Worst of all, there were emotions underlying in my skin, choking me around the throat. They were *lodged there*; I had sharp inability to spit it out and get it off my chest. I was being tugged, pinned, scratched, and *torn*.

I felt *trapped*. Walls grew closer, tighter, and *nightmarish*. The floor became *lava*.

Laughing filled my ears.

"It's ***ALL YOUR FAULT***, Winter! ***ALL OF IT IS YOUR FAULT***!"

'Cause when you- (when you, when you)

You can't- (you can't, you can't)

I'd wake up in my bed, drenched in cold sweat, panting, *screaming* at the top of my lungs.

I was at school, melting into my desk, desperate to *avoid* Daniela at all costs.

The world was spinning around. My bearings were *slipping*.

There was no telling what was part of the dream or what was from the nightmare.

Watch my- (watch my, watch my)

I've- (I've, I've)

What was real. What *was* a nightmare.

Only in a dream. Always in a nightmare.

Daniela's voice echoed, shouted, billowed, and growled.

"Watch your back, *mon amour*."

I was standing outside the door waiting to be let into Spanish.

"Smoke and mirrors *aren't your ally*."

I was sleeping in my cabin.

"You'll **NEVER** live this **down**!"

I was in art messily sketching with my pencil, and hearing her voice, it broke against the paper. I nearly punched the supply basket off the table.

I saw blue sweaters, black hair, and amber eyes in the hall. A sociopath was lurking, thristy for blood, and she craved another bite.

I was hardly breathing. I was being spun off a thread, visualizing darkness, hands grabbing at me, shoving me, choking me until I died, and Daniela was triumphantly on top.

I was her *prisoner*, and all I could see was blood dripping, all I could her was manic laughing, as things swirled and spun and went insane and feral until-

I woke with a start in my bed.

It was just a dream.

But was it just a dream when my hallucinations and encounters with a maniac, bully ex so keen on torture and feeding off pain were *real*?

My autonomy was *gone*. All of it belonged to Daniela.

And if I didn't find a way to conceal myself from her, she'd capitalize on my weakness, and all that I had worked to earn - my safety, my passion, and memories - would be served to her on a silver platter.

Late April came, and so did the rain showers of the season, soaking the Piney Woods. With the sound of the rain softly *pittering*, *pattering* off the roof of the cabin, gently bouncing off the leaves and petals, I should have been sound asleep and dreaming away in my paradise, mocktail in hand.

It was anything *but* that.

I was shaking, quivering, and unable to sleep *at all*. Thunderclaps made me scream and hug myself, and lighting flashing made me hide under my blankets.

The loud sounds. The flashes. The static in my ears. The nightmares.

I was locked in a *nightmare*. Black, dreary, and *wicked*.

Daniela's grip on me was eerily *strong*. I could feel her warm hands around my throat, pulling me, forcing my mouth open so that she'd drip acid into my throat. It *burned*.

She'd drip it into my eyes. They'd *sting*.

*Burn*.

I'd thrash and wake up from more nightmares. I was jumping at every noise and sound at school.

*I couldn't take this anymore*.

This was overwhelming. My head was hurting, and I felt so *weak* and *dead* inside. I'd gone for *days* and *weeks* without the sunlight, to do what I loved the most, without having to live in *fear* that *she'd come for me*.

Daniela didn't *want to kill me*, and that was a *relief*. A *massive* relief. She didn't want me *dead*. I wasn't going to *die*.

However, that wasn't much a relief - *she still wanted to harm me*. In what ways? Verbal torture was one, and some physical altercations were another. What was she *truly* capable of?

Something told me she had *extreme* cunning underneath those daunting blue sleeves. She wouldn't hesitate to use it.

I needed a place to *go*. These emotions were pressing around me and making the cabin and school close in on me. The walls were shrinking, biting at my ankles, and forcing me into a box.

I *hated* boxes. Boxes confined me. Boxes told me to *act* and *behave* like a fraidy little girl.

Except now, this wasn't just Father's bullcrap perception of life. *This* was Daniela tearing open fresh wounds in me and feasting on them. She was a vampire, and I didn't have the garlic to repel her.

No one could know that she was harassing me. I'd be laughed at, scorned, and shamed. Not a person could be trusted...

...sans the one person who knew Daniela best.

*Mother knows best... that's it! I need to see Rex.*

Could Rex help alleviate the nightmares and give me a lullaby? I *had* to learn.

The next time I set foot in school, I anxiously anticipated the clock hitting 3:35 for dismissal. It was pouring outside; great, I had no umbrella and would be *drenched* until getting under the trees in the Piney Woods. I hated rain, but that problem was *miniscule* in contrast to being bullied, stalked, and tormented by Daniela and her gang of shadowy seekers in my nightmares.

I was still seeing her out of the corners of my eyes. Sitting there, sharpening her inky black nails and smirking in triumph, confident she was *God*.

I'd shudder, paging for a distraction, paging for *Rex*. I needed *something*.

When that bell rang, *heaven* sounded, and I ran down the stairs, swearing I saw a million blue sweaters in a flock of darkness.

I was shoving through people, who yelled at me, "Hey!" or "Excuse you!" or some other things I won't be naming here.

My heart thrummed steadily, and I saw the office door. Opening it, I slammed it behind me and bolted for Rex's room.

It was closed, yet I heard her computer keys clacking away in there.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked three times like I usually did.

"Come in!"

I was quick to reveal myself, and she looked up, sensing the tension I had brought into the relaxed room. I sat down, backpack beside me.

"Winter, is... is something wrong?" Rex prompted worriedly, going back to furiously typing on that computer. She appeared to be just as tired as I was...

I fidgeted, the air stifling, and I looked *everywhere*.

No windows. No Daniela. Peace. No Daniela.

Was I *safe* in here? Could I *trust* Rex with this?

"Winter? Are you okay?" Rex prompted again, now getting up from her chair to approach me.

This was it. Now or never. I couldn't screw around with the quiet game forever.

My mouth forcibly pried itself open, and out came the words of dire *dread*.

"Daniela's bullying me."

Rex became a store mannequin on the spot, her body and facial features frozen and blue eyes dilating into black specks. *Lifeless*, vacant of *strength* and *energy*. My words had *stunned* her, and I gazed up at her, burying myself in the chair.

Her mouth unhinged.

"...*repeat that*?"

Rex's tone was *dry*. In *shock*. In *disbelief*.

She hadn't believed what I just told her, and I didn't blame her. I reluctantly repeated myself, preparing for a portal to hell to consume the entire room whole.

"Rex, Daniela is *bullying me*!"

The principal's eye twitched, then her hands balled into *tightly* clenched fists.

So tight that the blue veins had popped out, aggressively bulging, and it was remarkable how they didn't burst and start bleeding.

She screeched.

"***WHAT***?!"

Startled, I faced my boots and shivered. What I was about to tell her would come with *consequences* (we know how this went before, right?). I'd never seen Rex at her worst, but she was *plummeting* there. And I didn't want to know what *she*, of all people not named Daniela, was capable of.

"I wish this wasn't happening! But it is! And no matter where I run, where I go, she *haunts* me! She ran into me outside of school and *asssaulted me*. She warned me that she wanted revenge. She keeps wanting to *find me*. *Uncover* who I am. Drag me until she gets her vengeance. I'm *terrified*, Rex! I feel so confused and helpless and there's *emotions* in my *throat* I can't get *the hell out*! I want it to *stop*! I can't **DO THIS ANYMORE**!"

I wailed, the tips of my ears heating up, and I couldn't help myself. Sobbing, I hid my face in my hands, not desiring for Rex to see me break down. I had to show my *strength*. Anything that wasn't strength was a *weakness*. My walls could *never* come down.

Rex's blue gaze bore into me, concerned, yet lined with somberness and anger. She was feeling a whirlwind of emotions, like me, and I met her eyes.

They caught me off guard - they were *burning* in the same way as Daniela's.

"Ssh, it's okay, Winter..." she soothed, though her voice brimmed with hatred and came off gritty. I flinched, and she offered a hand to me; that caused me to growl and stand up, shoulders raised defensively.

"I d-don't want you to t-touch m-me," I reminded her in a stutter, and she retracted her hand.

"Okay. I won't touch you. Breathe, honey. You're okay... I need you to calm yourself. Tell me *everything* that *my daughter* has done to you, and include as many details as possible. That's all I'll ask of you, considering the pain and stress you're feeling at the moment."

I did as I was asked, breathing in, and out. In, then out, and in, then out. My head stopped its aching, and things in the world returned to their regular, uninterrupted balance.

For once in these past few weeks, there was *calm*.

I was *calm*.

"Better?" Rex asked. I nodded in response, and she sighed, her tone switching from soft to sharply serious.

"Alright... Winter, I need you to be *concise* with me. Tell me *everything* Daniela has been doing to you, start to finish. I sense just how uncomfortable and fraidy you've felt. I *know* she's done a number on you, *so help me Pineshadow*..."

Rex seemed despondent and furious at the same time, and the mix was making my feet tap on the floor, but I nonetheless pushed on and managed to explain everything, from Daniela's sudden, borderline manic-aggressive behavior, excessive usage of physical force, appearances in my delusions and in real life, and how she *always* invaded my nightmares to torture me.

Rex's face gradually curved from neutral to infuriated until every single one of her features was inflected with *rage*, and when I had mentioned that I was confident my ex wanted to smite me out of petty revenge, she *slammed* her fist down on the wood of the table.

The tea kettle had *exploded*.

"That ***slimy TWAT***!" she hissed, and my skeleton went flying out of my skin. "I'm going to ***make her see daylight***. I'm going to **blind her with it**! She needs to *stay away* from you. I don't even ***understand*** why Daniela's become so **petty**! She thinks being petty is the answer to *everything*. She bullies everyone! And now she's so hung up on **you** and has gron even **more toxic**. If it takes me **tackling her** to the floor and putting her on **freaking house arrest**, I don't *care*! This has got to **end**!"

She faced me, her brown hair loosely falling around her shoulders, and she let out rough pants from her outraged rant.

"W-Why is Daniela behaving like this? She... she was *never* a bully!" I pointed out. *Why* had Daniela changed? Why wasn't she sweet and charismatic and *charming*? Why wasn't she... just *Dani*?

The girl who would let a butterfly land on her finger, smiling *adorably*? The girl who'd buy me flowers and twine them in my hair, even if they fell out afterward?

I hadn't understood.

"The shift in her behavior just came out of *nowhere*. She became more *demanding* and *calculated*. Then she started to strut around and order **me** around! As if I should be deferring to a literal *child* for judgment! Daniela's a smart girl. She always has been. Yet she's not an adult! She bosses **everyone** she deems inferior **around**, and when she doesn't get what she wants... she's **nasty**. Physical assault, idiosyncratic *threats*, craving *violence*... I... I don't **understand**, but she makes my **blood boil**. I *hate this*. Hate this with **every** bone in this body of mine," Rex explained, a fist still resting on her desk.

I gasped. Out of *nowhere*?

*Nowhere*... no. *No*. *It couldn't be*!

"Oh... *oh no*..." I had suddenly realized something *vile*. So sickening I could have vomited and collapsed, withered away with a touch. My head *throbbed*. My *heartbeat* picked up. I remembered something Daniela told me in our initial meeting, something about *searching*...

"I miss who Daniela used to be... she was a *sweetheart*. She cared so much, and was so generous, so *intelligent*, so adorable... we were mother-and-daughter, and she *threw that all away for*-"

"Did our breakup turn Daniela rotten?"

Rex stopped, putting a hand to her mouth, and her blue eyes had gone unbelievably wide for a second time. She stared at me, *incredulous*, and I stared back.

"W-Winter... what makes you say that?"

I gazed down at my feet, eyes burning with a stinging sensation, and tears trickled down once more.

"Daniela admitted to me that she'd wanted to seek me out for *months*. She was trying to *hunt for me* because she wanted *revenge*! This wasn't something she developed on the spot - *she was trying to find me the whole time*!"

Rex's face drooped. I grew queasy.

"She... she did try to request information about you. Several times. I lied to her," Rex confessed in turn, holding her arms to herself as if she were freezing and about to collapse from hypothermia. She looked *guilty*. Torn between different lands, each with a desirable outcome, and she could only chose one.

*She did omit that from me, but I can't really blame her. This is her relationship with her daughter, to be exact...*

"I *never* wanted to put your personal information and whereabouts in anyone's hands... not even my own daughter's. It was too dangerous. The breakup caused her to spiral, but I thought she'd heal... not aim to break her bond with everyone and result to feeding off suffering..."

A pin dropped in my heart.

I sunk to my knees.

*Daniela was this way because of me*.

*I* had the deciding move in the breakup. She blamed me for *everything*. I *caused this*. I abandoned Daniela. She *blamed me* for *abandoning her*. She wanted to get back at me for all of *that*.

All of the *trauma* was *gagging me*.

"It's my fault..." I whispered. "I did abandon her, and she b-blames me-"

The room had begun to whirl, and the colors whirred. Voices chanted in my head, and I heard that cackle of that witch. Hands slid around my throat, asphyxiating me, and tears rapidly fell.

*It's your fault! It's your fault! It's your fault!*

"I *caused* this... I *turned* Daniela against *everybody*... *what have I done*?"

My body gave out, and I stared at the floor, held up by my hands. Tears fell to the floor in a downpour, matching the rain outside. I heard the roar of the static, the laughing, the shame, the *misery*.

"I'm sorry, Rex... this is *my fault*-"

"**No**," Rex asserted firmly, walking up to me and kneeling down, getting on my level and seeing me eye-to-eye. My mouth parted in surprise.

"Winter, *under no circumstance* is this your fault. You did *what you had to* to survive, and how could *anyone* fault you for that? Daniela is **wrong** - *she* made the move that led to you choosing to break up. You had *every right* to call that shot. She shouldn't have outed you without your consent. You ran away because you were *traumatized*! If you stayed with your father, he would have ***murdered you***!"

I gazed up at her, rubbing the tears out of my bleary eyes. She made a valid point. Father would have definitely killed me and made word on his promise if I had stayed behind with Daniela. *She* was the one who betrayed me and made me despise her. *She* chose her own path full of destruction and vitriol, and I chose my own dark path, only to find the light inside the dark.

My thoughts were interrupted by Rex. "I **promise** that I will deal with Daniela, darling. I **will**. This behavior is *inexcusable* and **worthy** of a **million punishments**. Hell or high water, I *will* pull her out of school if her threats to you excede beyond violence... you are *safe* with me, Winter. Your feelings are **completely valid**, and you are *understood*."

With her words, I heaved a sigh of relief and relaxed, dropping my shoulders. She sat with me on the floor for another five minutes, not talking, not reaching out to me, but keeping me company. Her maternal pride and senses had kicked in, and all she wanted was to see me calm and collected. Normalcy was what I had craved since I walked in... and so for those five minutes, I sat in silence, breathing.

The five minutes elapsed. My heart was steady, and most of my face had regained its pale color, no longer tinted rosy from the hurt and mental breakdown. I picked up my backpack. It was late - the whole school had likely cleared out by now, and I had to get going and go back home before the rain outside got worse.

"I should go," I said, heading for the door.

"Wait!"

I halted, facing Rex, who snared me back in with an earnest stare.

"You mentioned feeling like you have emotions trapped in you. If I was in your boots... I'd blow off some steam."

*Blow off steam*? But how? I wasn't chronically *angry* all the time. I had *emotions*, but I couldn't *identify* them. I couldn't *free* them.

And if I didn't guard myself, I'd lower the floodgates to harassment, stalking, and being plucked of my petals, of my feathers, of my *hope*, and of my everything.

"H-How...?"

"You have to find that out yourself, Winter. I'm not a therapist, and I'm not a doctor. I can't *manage* your emotions, only provide moral support. Try screaming until your lungs are raw. Put yourself in a scenario you can *let everything go* in. Work it out of yourself... you'll feel much better once you find a method of doing so."

Nice Varien reference there, Rex. That earned a smile.

As I walked out of school that day, fading into the trees of the woods, I thought deep about her words. Rex had made another strong point - I had to get these emotions out of me, somehow. They were *hurting* and *slicing* into my throat, and I couldn't bear them staying in forever. It was preventing me from sleeping, combined with my woes regarding Daniela battering my already battered body enough.

Blowing off steam? I took the idea and ran with it. I just had to find a fuse, and then with an *explosion*, this scratching and biting would *cease*.

Axes were hung high over my head, ready to cleave me and torture me. Their blades gleamed.

Would I avoid them, or would I talk *back* and stand my ground?

When the weekend rolled in, sunnier yet the ground still wet and muddy underfoot, I decided to enact Rex's words out for real and ventured out into the Piney Woods. Sunlight filtered in and out of the branches, dappling the damp forest floor, and pine needles crunched under my feet.

Throughout the week, I'd dwelled heavily on Rex's advice to blow off some steam, cutting into my (limited) sleep time and school hours.

People blew off steam when they were *mad*. Hellish-type mad, so mad they could bend metal and chew it into pieces. I wish I had their guts, but when you're the sole occupant of the ghost town in your heart... you had to rely on your luck alone to scrape by.

*What* did I need to blow off? These *emotions*. I would've by now, but I *still didn't know how*.

How? I didn't know *what* this *was*, or what these emotions had in mind for me. They were pressuring me and making me feel small and insecure. The world was uneven, and I was trodding on eggshells.

The more the shells stuck in my foot, the more the emotions welled. It wouldn't *stop* unless I found a remedy.

Rex had pointed me in a direction... but how would I get rid of the axes hung over my head?

I continued walking, entering a tiny clearing with several thin trees and patches of open grass, and I sighed. Sun rays brushed the top of my head, enlightening me and welcoming me.

This area was secluded (I mean, all of the Piney Woods was, but you get the idea), and with the amount of trees, there'd be enough noise blocking for whatever I had to do.

Rex said I should try screaming my emotions out. The Varien method she alluded to specifically in *Firefly*.

*Worth a shot,* I noted. I opened my mouth.

Absolutely *nothing* came out.

I *tried* to speak, tried to *scream*, to *vocalize* anything, but inside, I was *dry*.

The things I had *wanted* to scream were stuck in my throat. Varien was not able to heal my issue.

I couldn't get these damn emotions *out*. They *itched* and *expanded*, shuttering my airway, but I shook myself. No. No going to the *bad place* right now.

Screaming wasn't going to cut it. There *had* to be an alternate way.

*Should I take this out on something?*

In a sharp contrast to my villainous ex, I *wasn't* violent. Yeah, sure, I'm armed with a pocket knife and could *easily* slit someone's throat.

Violence was *not* the solution to my situation, and by all means, I didn't want to have to *utilize* it against my will. I would only *ever* attack if my life was in danger and if there was someone actually intending to murder me - that someone was nonexistent at the time.

Rummaging in my pocket, I grabbed the pocket knife and held it in my hands, studying its wooden handle and the bottom initials, still proudly exclaiming *EM*, and I snarled in disgust.

"This will *never* belong in your bloody hands again, Father."

I had taken Father's prized weapon from him, *reclaimed* it. It was in the hands of its rightful owner now, and thankfully, I hadn't had to use it (*yet*) against enemies. I had yet to even *practice* with it.

*Practice* with a *blade*. A blade that could cut *deep* and *defend*.

And without warning, I got the *idea*.

Mom told me to dream a bigger dream. If a current dream of mine was fading and crumbling, I'd dream *bigger*, *repair* it, and build another *world*.

The world was *mine*. I was alone in my *waking dream*. *Anything* was possible.

Who said I couldn't use my imagination to figure out my baggage and strike it out?

Gripping the knife, I willed myself to *think*.

What *would* be a scenario where I'd have to *defend* myself? Rise up? Face something that wasn't *Daniela*, a *major* threat and an infected thorn in my side, but an *enemy*, one who was pesky and desired fights, but *could* be defeated?

The wind howled, and the trees *groaned* and *swayed*. I heard *roars*. *Whispers*. A threat was *looming*.

Then there were eyes. Reddish, gleaming, and *voracious* for blood. They surrounded me on all fronts, and I paced around.

I was surrounded by Daniela's *shadow seekers*. Her *minions*.

Not as durable and vigorous as her, but still a *threat*.

It was just a lone cabin girl and her knife against an *army*. I could play at that game.

I felt the emotions rising in me, swirling, and the pressure rose. The ground was uneven, and my sights were *blurry*.

Madness was settling in.

But I wouldn't let them win.

When they had closed in on me, shadows ready to devour me, I let the energy that had built and the emotions that had been choking mingle into *one*.

Just like that, I went on the *offense*.

I leaped out with a *piercingly loud* screech, landing on the first enemy, and I tore across its throat with a *merciless* slash. It disappeared, but another one came, gripping my other hand.

Growling, I slit across its eyes. *Slash*. Gone in the blink of an eye.

A shadow seeker flew above my head, and I punched it, causing it to evaporate in thin air. I dodged an attack from two shadow seekers, cutting their heads off and vaporizing them at the same time.

With the brief reverie, I flipped over another shadow seeker and stabbed it in the back of its neck, pulling out a knife blade dripping with black ooze.

Only a few had truly vanished - there was still an army encroaching on my *territory*.

"You descend on my woods and cause *terror*... I'll make you all **PAY**!" I roared defiantly, my heart bursting with a *freeing* feeling that was becoming *known* to me.

I ran forward, my path blocked with a shadow seeker that I stunned by kicking to the side; three more had attempted to hurtle themselves onto my back, but I impaled each one-by-one with the knife's blade. *Poof*, *poof*, *poof*!

"*Ha*! Take *that*, you shadowy *suckers*!" I sneered, feeling triumphant. Not for long.

I felt a shadow seeker's claws scratch my face, and I reeled, putting a hand to my cheek. It was stained with *blood*.

Red blood that was oozing blackness at the tips.

"You slimy son of a *gun*!" It *laughed* at me, and my heart *sizzled* and *crackled* with another welling feeling, one that was hot as *magma* and *locked and loaded*.

*Fury*.

Letting out a battlecry that *shook* the ground, I swung my armed fist around and tore into its flesh, ripping its body in half. It exploded, disappearing out of my sightlines. Its friends were *pissed*.

I was filled with *glee*.

"It served him right - or they, whatever. You guys probably aren't big on **PRONOUNS**!"

I ran without focus, slashing and swerving and watching with vindication as one by one, my enemies faded, died gruesomely, or fled to regroup with the others. I was gaining my ground back with *force*.

And I kept *going*. My energy was *boundless*, *infinite*. I didn't know where I was getting it, but my heart was *pounding*, and I breathed in not just *relief*, but *thrill*.

This was *fun*. I was feeling *confident*.

I was going to win this *war*.

I. Was. *Determined*.

Smirking, I kicked aside a shadow seeker, stabbed it in his head, ripped the knife blade back out, and impaled the eye of another. I wasn't gonna stop this. I was going to *defend my dignity*.

None of these shadowy seekers would infect or poison my woods. This was *my home*. And I was having a *blast* defending it.

I leaped over a cluster of shadow seekers, gaining ground they hadn't yet touched, and I ran, picking up speed before diving back into the fray, slashing at one's abdomen, kneeing a scrawny shadow seeker and snapping its neck, and tearing a pudgy one's throat wide open.

Yelling, I rose back up to my feet, and a shadow seeker hooked to my leg. I swung it forward and fell upon it with a *thump*, suffocating it with my weight alone. It faded, and I rolled off to my side, dodging a direct grab for my eyes.

"Seeing red? I'll have you seeing **SILVER**, *bloodspawn*!" He never saw anything but a knife through his right eye and his brain. Recharging, I stepped back into the emptying field, dodging attacks and finishing off the rest of the stray seekers who hadn't fled or chosen to regroup yet. A smashing of another's skull, a knife to the chest, a slice across the heart.

I was *unstoppable*.

The clearing was deserted now, stained with clawed trees, strewn pine needles, and drying blood of the spirits.

Was the war over? Had I defended the Piney Woods and blown off what had been choking me for so long?

I felt my throat - there were lumps there, and my hackles bristled.

This *wasn't* over, not yet. I squared my feet defensively.

Eyes emerged at the edges of the clearing. More eyes than I had seen today.

The shadow seekers were back with their last wave.

It was *enormous*. A *sea* of black, swarming, and the trees were *blackening* at their roots. The shadow seekers were *infecting* them.

"**No**! Don't you **THINK** about taking away ***MY WOODS***!" I bellowed.

The bones in my body *hardened*.

My throat and lungs *burned* with exhileration.

My heart was *racing*.

In my head, atoms clicked. The tips of my ears were *searing hot*.

Oh, this wasn't just a freaking war anymore. They chose to hurt *my woods*.

Hurt me, too. I wasn't forgetting the scratch markings on my cheek from that shadow seeker.

They'd come to torment me, torture me, and do Daniela's bidding. They wanted to destroy me and take my *home*. After *all* I had fought for, *all* I had to go through, I would *never* let that be all for naught.

They messed with *me*. Winterlyn Falin McCormick.

*Fire* raged in my body. Pure, untampered, *roaring* fire.

It was *white-hot*.

*Dangerous*.

*Molten*.

*And they wouldn't take my woods even over my cold, dead body*.

Conviction flared in my heart, and with it, the steam *finally* blew over.

"***I WILL MAKE ALL OF YOU VENOMOUS STAINS ROT IN HELL***!"

I *ran*, shocked by *lightning*, into the horde of shadow seekers. I was eaten and consumed and scratched and bitten, but my spirit wasn't going to die on me. My light was going to *blind* these guys.

And then I'd rip their freaking faces apart bit by bit.

I tore into flesh upon flesh upon flesh, stabbing hearts, decapitating shadow demons, cutting so fast and violently that blackened blood would come to splatter the trees and ground. Picasso would be proud of me.

I kicked, screamed, pinned down enemies, snapped necks, and went on, on, and on. They wanted a relentless vagrant, and they got *hell*.

I was *hell*. A *good* kind of hell. They wanted me to turn to violence, *and they got violence*.

They didn't *know* what *I* was capable of. Underestimating me was their undoing.

I surged up, having just twisted my knife into the mouth of a shadow seeker and pulling it out when all of a sudden, one gripped my leg and hard. I slammed into the ground, my knife flying out of my hand and landing two inches away from it.

"No you **DON'T**!" I snarled, grabbing the knife and flipping, struggling to crawl to my feet with the added weight, and I staggered up on one foot.

He *still* wasn't letting go. A shadow seeker tried to bite me from behind, but I knocked it back with my elbow. My leg was throbbing, growing weaker, draining of the strength I'd been using to lash back out at the shadows.

This one wanted me weak, where I was *vulnerable*. And *vulnerable* was a word in my vocabulary I *despised*.

"What part of *piss off* don't you **GET**?!" I screeched, raising my weak leg and slamming the shadow seeker down on a rock. It vaporized in a second, and I put my foot down, literally. I'd ignore the pain - there were still many shadow seekers, and still one girl to take them all down.

I scanned my surroundings, but before I could turn fully around, a heavy shadow seeker landed on my neck and pinned me down. It breathed on my hackles, and I caught a *foul* stench.

*Death*.

This one was going to slice into my spinal cord and *kill me*.

But who said that this was the part of the story where I died?

A few words for you, buddy.

"You seem to have forgotten who I am... ***I AM WINTERLYN FALIN MCCORMICK***!"

I effortlessly sprung into the air, wrenched the enemy free, and while still in mid-air, cut his throat. I landed on another shadow seeker, squishing him, and charged at two others, sending them flying back into a tree.

"***AND THESE ARE MY WOODS***! ***MINE ALONE***!"

Another five shadow seekers decapitated and evaporated. I skirted a corner, making a dust cloud blind a wave of enemies, and then, when they weren't working, I slit into each and every one of their spinal cords with my knife.

A taste of their own medicine for what one of their own kind just tried to execute with me.

"***BY COMING INTO MY WOODS, YOU'VE TRESPASSED*** - ***YOU WILL REPENT FOR IT***!"

I kept on *charging*, tearing into the shadow seekers. Daniela's own little minions were standing no chance against me. They didn't have her mind, or her prowess - and they didn't know my secret weapon of all.

I never realized what I was holding in was my *true* power. I had repressed it, and it had suffocated me.

However, as I blew off steam, slashing these demons and banishing them to hell, where they belonged... I realized that Rex *was* right.

*This* was what I had needed to do. What I felt in me, and *why* I had become so fraidy, was *insecurity*.

I wasn't *confident* in me. I wasn't confident I could face Daniela, confront her, defend myself. I was *scared* of the possibilities. *Frightened*. I had forgotten *what* I was built of. *What* I used to defend myself before.

It was my *temper*. My *anger*. My *willpower*.

A shadow demon crossed my path, and it was a quick wrench and slit that did them out.

I had *willpower*. Shockingly *strong* willpower. I had *defiance*. I wasn't gonna *die* that easily.

Nor was I going to give up, not without being torn apart in the bloodiest duel imaginable.

My *strength* was my *anger*. The fact I could *fight* by *myself*, with barely any *help*. I was *independent*.

I was *fierce*.

And by killing a million shadow seekers and more, I was *deadly*.

Two could play at Daniela's game, and I was feeling a bit cocky, too - *I could play it just as well as her*.

By the time the last shadow seeker fell, a stab in the abdomen and neck, the Piney Woods had returned to vivid, green and brown coloring, and the blood had faded from the pine needles. They were scattered *everywhere*, and my body ached. Several trees had knife scratches across them, criss-crossed and jagged.

The fight I had partook in *wasn't* real - it didn't physically occur, but played out fully in my mind.

I had an exhausted, scratched body, muddy boots, scarred trees, and a messy ground to prove it.

That fight had taught me some things, however.

Axes talk, and they loom over your head. You could very well call this battle the Talking of the Axes.

But even in a battle, you had to remember *who* you were and how you could *use* that part of you to bleed what you could to *protect* and *defend* what you loved.

I had been trapped in a nightmare for weeks, and in a way, I still was. Daniela wasn't going to live and let die, and she would never let her conquest for revenge go. She wanted to draw it out, and she wanted me to suffer. To her, payback was *magic*.

I'd grown fearful and weary, too tired, too frightened to realize that deep down, I had *nothing* to fear.

Daniela wasn't aware that I had *far more willpower* than she could ever dream. And when my fuse was ignited, I was *deadly*.

If I had to, I'd go for the kill. The difference between me and my ex? I wasn't driven by revenge. I wasn't driven by rage.

I was driven by my *will* to *survive*.

"Nice try with your shadow cronies, Daniela. But I'm afraid you haven't met the *real* me just yet..."

My first test with my made-of-steel personality came just mere days after the Talking of the Axes.

The morning was warm, spring air gusting through the branches, and the sun was rising, the sky tinted orange-and-pink. I had gotten to PMS fairly early; an elevated mood made me giddy, and with giddiness came a desire to start the day. Odd that I'd be infected with this mood on a school day.

As the doors weren't yet unlocked, I hid in wait under the shadow of a brick pillar. Unlike the demons that fought in the Talking of the Axes, this shadow was a friend and kept me veiled. Public attention was a no-no, and thanks to Daniela, I had enough of being unjustly chucked into the limelight.

The sun rose up higher. Any minute now, I'd hear Rex unlock the doors for the day.

I inhaled.

"**What** do you **remotely think** you're doing on my **turf**, you *self-righteous*, *tree-kissing*, *two-timing flea*?"

I jumped, having not had *Daniela charging at me like an angered bull* on my morning bingo card, but remembering the war I fought, I gave her an unwelcome surprise and stepped aside, prepared and ready for her stewing agenda.

"Is this honestly your turf?" I fired back, rolling my eyes and pretending not to care.

Daniela growled. "You must be a *Neanderthal*. I *dominate this entire school*, you blind bat. Above all, right now, I hate how you're *petty*. Where is that you I *relished*?"

"I don't know. What about the old you?"

"**Don't you dare bring that mouse up**, *McCormick*!"

She edged toward me, but I squared my shoulders and growled at her, teeth bared, stance firm.

"*Try me*, Daniela."

She clenched her fist and *hissed*.

"Tell me that **one more time** and I will **rip** your jugular and break it like a **twig**."

The me last week would have been scared shrimpless and have run off in tears, paranoid of what she could do. What she could do to *ruin me*. My mindset. *Everything*.

Today was a flip on that old tale, for I didn't feel any fear, just *hate*. Hate, and controlled *anger* that was getting closer to *not* being controlled. Daniela didn't know that I had the *big guns*. The *first light*. The *honor bright*.

"How about you *repeat that one more time*?" I snarled. "Go away, Queen D. This school isn't yours. You have issues. Focus on them, not on somebody who hardly cares about you anymore."

The look on her face was *livid*. She seemed like she could punch right through the brick pillar behind me and actually snap my neck.

But I was *stronger*. I could *dodge*. *Evade*. *Rise*. I had *hope*. I knew things she did *not*.

She didn't react, only staring at me with blazing amber eyes, which demonstrated to me that I wasn't just humiliating her, but matching her stride for stride.

Then, she swung out with an infuriated *screech*, but with a growl, I avoided it and roughly shouldered her into the brick pillar, pinning her. She shook her head, winded, yet her brows were still cocked with rage.

"***WHAT***?!"

"You're *very* lucky I'm showing you compassion only *pinning you*. You better **pipe down** on your **cruelty**, Daniela. You lost me. We're *done*. I want *nothing* to do with you, and I have *no bones* to pick with you. It's **time** you got a dose of your own medicine. So ***LEAVE***!" I warned curtly, my face stony and expressionless.

Trying to be firm with Daniela was impossible, however. I knew as she got up and hurtled a bunch of swears at me - which won't be documented here, because we all know that Daniela is one of the most vulgar sailors on the planet - that she would be coming back for more, eager to find a part of me soft enough to *crack*.

I would have liked to see her *try*. This heart was too cold and too *furious* to *break*.

Days came and went, rising with the morning sun and the pinkish-orange streaks at dawn, and sinking with the dark, vibrant orange hues at dusk before melting and merging into a blackish, blue-streaked sky full of stars.

Peace came in those days, where I'd sit calmly in the woods, idly reflecting on my strengths and discoveries, watching a leaf fall from a tree in the spring-approaching-summer breeze, listening to the calls of siskins and juncos, detecting the faintest buzz of the hummingbirds.

Life was as it should be in the Piney Woods. My home was protected, and so were my secrets.

It was May, now. The last month of the sixth grade year. Exams would be in a matter of weeks - the final tests before *freedom*.

Finally, *liberty*. I could run around in the woods all day and do as I wanted, as I pleased, without having to *fear* that anyone would stalk me. Hunt me like a sport. Scramble to unearth my secrets to weaponize them against me and drag me to the land of the dead.

A war I'd fought for nearly a *year* would be *over*. Done, dusted, and in the history books.

But not before spending this last month training for the final boss and facing enemies along the way.

*Everyone*, sans my two allies, was a *threat*. No one from the outside could be allowed to access my inside. *Especially* Daniela.

She was growing more spiteful and petty. Rebellious, so I'd hear from Rex. My warning to her that one morning had no effect, even when she was *momentarily*, *just momentarily*, fazed by my hot temper and swift combat.

Daniela was Daniela. She'd *never* change, *never* learn, and *never* give up, vying for *her way*. She was the Queen Bee of PMS, rotten as a burnt apple pie, living a lavish lifestyle of an addicting madness. Fully unwilling to listen to rules, dunking on the cowardice of a fool and slurping up their fear.

Daniela wasn't aware of what I had *in* me. She'd gotten a *teaspoon* of it, a *teaspoon*. Just a *hint* of my power. If she wanted *savagry*, if she wanted *destruction*, if she posed a threat to *my life*, *she would get anarchy*.

I was *ready*.

The final challenge had *begun*.

Staring up at the familiar awning to PMS, the side windows to the library and office that glistened like shimmering minerals in the sunrise, the flowers that were tugged by a subtle breeze, I was guided forward by familiarity and willpower.

Facing a buzzing hive of students, the clamor of footsteps and backpacks in the halls... oh, I'd gotten so *used* to this.

I had to get used to exam practice, too.

I stayed up for the blue moon

But I woke up in the dark

In each of my eight classes, exam work was heavy. Packets to solve, answer, evaluate, and study, engraining the knowledge we'd learned from that semester into the back of our heads. We were *in this* to *win it*.

We'd *fail*, otherwise. And failure would do me no favors (I had *enough* burdens, thank you very much for asking).

Then, when the school day was over, I'd be sharpening up on my skills, too. I spent half of my time studying my packets, working on more problems and checking my school email (not doxxing myself to you fools out there) to guarantee I hadn't missed any instrumental instructions.

There's a tear across the sky tonight

That's tackled in my heart

When night fell, my true nature kicked in. Instead of going to bed and sleeping, I'd *run*. Run through the woods, soaring over crevices, the stream, and bushes.

Why would I be running late at night, *on a school night no less*, and giving my lungs an aching feeling? Why would I run and push myself, breaking a sweat and running towards a seemingly-unnamed goal?

Why would I run hidden in the woods, when it was pitch-black and I couldn't be seen by anyone?

I see your truth

The strength that lays buried at your roots

Because *this was who I was*.

I was *training hard* for the end of the year. Exams were... something. I was training for that accordingly, out of school and in my classes.

However, I was also training for *confrontation*. *War*. *Rivalry*.

Daniela wouldn't back down from a challenge. She had fortitude, and she'd sneer at anyone making a facetious effort to outpace her. She longed for the salty taste of *bad*, *moldering* blood.

I know you're dutiful

Tattered by the path you had to choose

She lurked in wait for when we'd meet paths again. I wouldn't be *running scared*; I had my fire, my guts, and a thousand layers of lies to supplement myself. I needed to be strong as her. No, even more than that, *stronger*.

I had to *push myself hard*. Weakness was not an option in these times, and weakness made me a *target*. I was no target. I was *Winterlyn Falin McCormick*.

I was the girl that time forgot, the girl that eluded everybody as she trained in woods, climbed trees when the night was at its deadest, gaining a view of her home and the yellow city lights that broke the temporary blight of the darkness.

I was the girl that time forgot, the girl that ran endlessly, tirelessly, thicking her frame and enamored by the thrill and wonder of her mystical woods.

I was the girl that time forgot, peering out at the edge of forbidden territory, the park, and seeing children play. They didn't see me, for I was cloaked in the shadows of the woods, never knowing that the woods were my own, held in the palm of my hand, kept safe within my box.

Training would intensify with each day. Each time I boldly caught Daniela, walking by without catching me, and I'd walk past her. I chose to play hardball and didn't instigate a thing when she observed me, saw me, or shouted at me.

"Your *apathy* makes me more *belligerent*, *McCormick*, I swear to-"

She couldn't see through my disguise - I was busy relying on my heart to soothe the gaps in my training. Her fire starved.

I've watched a hand across the skies

Slowly dancing past a thousand eyes

I furiously grew better and better at math and Spanish, my weakest links in my curriculum, and I spoke *confidently*. *Fluently*. The flowers blooming in my heart had blessed me with their nectar, and I'd regained *vocalization*.

No longer as resigned as I was in my early days of disappearing and deluding the institution. *Defiant*. *Protestant*.

My training was paying off, and with it, came the results.

I spoke fluently in Spanish, earning *muy biens* and *muy perfectos*. Blush sneaked back onto my cheeks.

They can't see her disguise

Or break through her armor of lies

Each day ended with a small success. A correct answer in math. A correct answer and response in English and science. Multiple completed extra credit pages in history.

Small successes built up to *big* successes. Bonus points. Extra credit. Bumping up bad grades. Corrections.

In the daylight, I was Winter, an obedient student who never committed any wrongdoing and never strayed far from the tree. She obeyed all teachers and was kindhearted to them if they were kindhearted to her in return.

But I know your truth

The strength that lays buried at your roots

And at night, I was Winterlyn Falin McCormick, a wanderer, tree-hugger, and evasive vagabond who followed the starlight as she ran, built up power in her legs, and sprang up a tree, climbing onto sturdy branches and jumping from tree to tree, seeing the world that rested at her feet.

Pineshadow, from afar, a *beautiful* haven bristing with *life*.

In the darkness, there would be *light*. Neither force could coexist without each other, and for darkness to exist, there *had* to be light.

I know you're dutiful

Tattered by the path you had to choose

They didn't know one of their own had disregarded the law to save her hide. They didn't know she was orphaned and living under a tale of false pretenses.

Those fools. They'd never know my business, or see things the way I did. It was better for them to remain clueless while I blissfully remained under the shade of the lens.

I didn't have to speak words to make an impact. All I had to do was to live this life the way I *wanted* - and if anyone *dared* to challenge that, I'd grant them a one-way ticket to *hell*.

But you hide

Won't you step out into the light?

The dawn of a new day arose, and it was another day at school. Studying, deflecting external distractions, thinking about what my future could be.

Concentrating in the hallways, avoiding Daniela.

You hide

Use my heart, take out your crime

Her glare had *incentive*, laced with vinegar. She was eager to mingle with the commoner again and open a gateway to *trouble*.

Sure enough, she got me *alone*.

You hide

In the deepest of the night

Upon being dismissed on a cloudy afternoon, she grabbed my shoulder and turned me around, her fiery eyes blistering my skin.

"*McCormick*. You're *asinine* to believe I'm going to cut you a year's worth of *slack*. I will have you *beg on your knees*, on this sidewalk, *right here*, *right* now*."*

You hide

Don't you know you burn so bright?

"**Screw off**!" I hissed, shoving her back.

"You are **NOT** triumphing over me!" She made another lunge, and I dug my heel into her foot, *hard*.

"***SCREW OFF***!" I was on my way, leaving her behind in the dust to fume, sulk, seethe, cope, and scheme again.

She had gotten another *hint* of who I was. I could burn brighter, sure.

This star hadn't lost her spark *yet*.

Topped off with credence, I'd tread water I hadn't treaded before, starting to sleep outside and climb onto thinner branches, daring myself to walk across as if the branches under me were a tightrope.

The view was *heavenly*.

You're all that I owned

You're all that I need

Here, I could reach up and fraternize with the clouds, imagining their fluffiness as I stroked their undersides. I could think clearly, unseen by a soul, and thinking about what would happen after school.

I'd be free. I wouldn't have to worry about *anything* for a few months. I would escape Daniela - *and* I could show her up. My veins fizzled, *burst* with life and *desire*.

"I'm gonna do this," I stated to myself. "I *can* do this."

You're all that I owned

You're all that I need

Quite amazing just how fast the night changes, doesn't it? I thought I couldn't *complete* school at first. That it'd be too hectic, away from Dani and figuring out a jungle all on my own, then losing Daniela to corruption, being bullied by her, and tormented by hallucinations and nightmares of my trauma, of everything happening all over again, all while I concealed my lies and my story from the school and fought a battle against *everyone* who hadn't forged a sturdy alliance with me.

*Whoa*. Just... *whoa*.

Everyone has their doubts and regrets. But with time, patience, and understanding, you go *around* them. You recover, and come to see that your original vision didn't come as it was advertised.

I'd... *grown*. That was a benchmark to be proud of.

But I know your truth

The strength that lays buried at your roots

Mid-May came, and posters decorated the walls at PMS, urging us to concentrate and slay the dragon in its lair.

*You got this, Pines!*

*Remain united! Run high!*

*We'll miss you guys <3 See you next year!*

Oh, schools *sure* were sentimental, were they?

I know you're dutiful

Tattered by the path you had to choose

Whatever. I chose my path, picked my flowers, and made my decisions. I'd refused to turn back long ago.

We were in the final stages.

The hardest preparations of all. An ex teeming with desperation and a lust for *pain*.

Both mixed with Chemical X. Had my training fortified me for this battle?

But you hide

Won't you step out into the light?

I completed my remaining packets and corrected all of my lowest grades. All of my class grades had reached nineties.

I could run for a mile in the Piney Woods, too high off adrenaline to collapse in exhaustion.

You hide

Use my heart, take out your crime

Daniela accosted me more vengeful times, inside the school and outside, her brows always furrowed with frozen anger, impatience, and an unquenched thirst for *blood*.

"You're a *coward*. Deep in your *bones*. Your *bomb facade* doesn't fool me."

"I *loved* you once. You *destroyed it all*. You **ditched me**! You'll *regret this*!"

I paid her no mind, shutting her up with well-placed aggression and counterstrikes of my own.

You hide

In the deepest of the night

At night, I came *alive*, running without even having to gaze at my surroundings. My head and heart were so well acquainted with the Piney Woods that I could aimlessly wander, marvelling at the stars, and not even smash into anything.

My heart was my guide, and I'd use what it stored to protect me. I trusted it more than anyone else. I was the only person I could rely on.

You hide

Don't you know you burn so bright?

At the age of *twelve*, I'd successfully managed to live on my own with barely any help outside of two external connections. I was healthy, didn't need no family, and didn't need no friends.

I didn't need friends. They'd just come to disappoint me, or at worst, betray me.

Why need anybody when these woods were only meant for *me*? My childish dreams, a picturesque reality?

I kept running at night, climbing trees, strolling through at the edges. People frolicked and lived their normal lives, pretending that they knew everything.

You hide

But they didn't see the fine print in everything, stopping to stare at what made Pineshadow *Pineshadow*. What composed the skies, the stars, nature, and *us*.

What made the chirp of every bird, the buzz of every insect and hummingbird, the bark of a fox, the gurgling of a creek, *special*. *Vivid*. *Memorable*.

They didn't see the meaning of the stars when every night, they'd come out to play, twine in my hair, and bless me with their warmth and light.

You hide

They ran about mindlessly. I hid. Night came, and they slept in, laziily drawling on their comfortable sofas. I slept in a makeshift bed and outside in the grass, counting the stars in the sky and dreaming of a world only I could know.

The world was *beautiful*. Everything had a *spirit*, a *name*. From animal to plant, there was *life*.

Even in hardship, there was *life*.

Even when facing a foe, there was *life*.

Vitality *always* prevailed.

You hide

As I sat on a branch on the edge of the Piney Woods, staring at Pineshadow Middle School from afar and sighing, I thought back to my original paranoia upon encountering Daniela, believing me to be in danger. Believing I was going to be delusional, thinking I'd be stalked and smeared and *ruined*. My premature beginnings of a new life I'd found solace in, decaying and rotting away...

...and instead, I'd found a missing piece of myself, another one, in fact, that matched up with my hope: my *strength*.

I had my weapons. I had resources. I had a *will* to *survive*, triumphing all evil Daniela wanted to inflict on me.

She wouldn't take this life away.

Finally, I was *home*. My cabin was *home*. The Piney Woods was *home*.

I'd defeated the axes that talked and hung over my head. Those shadowy foes were gone, and soon, Daniela would be too.

Perhaps I was too wistful. Perhaps I was too cocky.

But at that time, in that moment, outlined in the light of the stars, I thought that even the brightest stars, ones that had lost their spark, could *regain* their spark.

And with that spark in me, regained and burning with a red-hot glow... the finish line was only one step away.

Revenge and rivalry do go hand-in-hand. People try to take up wars because they want something. Usually revenge. It goes on forever, and ever, and ever, until the end of time, or until everyone forgets and moves on.

The enemy wants blood and won't stop until they get blood. The innocent, meanwhile, has to prepare. They're being hunted, and a single mistake could get them killed.

The innocent has to train. Learn what makes them unique, find their groove, and *retaliate*.

All could be lost, and everything gets overwhelming. It's full of breakdowns, fights, and fear. It's okay to have that fear, and it's okay to want to challenge that fear.

I once thought I'd never catch a break from Daniela and what she'd do in my waking dreams and nightmares. I once thought we'd be rivals, and she'd be scouting for every chance to *weaken* me. Luckily we didn't have any classes together - god, I can't imagine how worse that would have been for me.

I was *lucky*. *Barely* lucky.

She was my rival. My *enemy*. We'd get a break from each other soon, and I hoped that over the summer, she'd move on and finally let go.

Summer. A season I cherish fondly.

It came to be, gift-wrapped and joyous. Embraced it, I did, and for the first time in years, I ran with the currents of the ocean blue.

## Cast

* **Mae Whitman** as Winter
* **Nora Dunn** as Rex
* **Eden Riegel** as Daniela

## Songs

* Tut Tut Child - *Autonomy* (ft. Danyka Nadeau)
* Tut Tut Child - *Talking of Axes* (ft. Jim Davies)
* Tut Tut Child - *You Hide* (ft. Augustus Ghost)

## Trivia

* This chapter was named after the Tut Tut Child song *Talking of Axes*, which appears in the chapter itself during Winter's fictional battle with the shadow demons.
* The poster for the chapter was inspired by an Ace of Hearts card.
* The Varien song Winter quotes at the beginning is *Whispers in the Mist*.
* In ending her monologue, Winter quotes the Mark Sixma song *Million Miles*.
* It is revealed that:
	+ Winter is a fan of *One of Us Is Lying* and ships Janae and Maeve together. The copy of the book she is reading appears to be more loosely based off the television series and not the original book, which Winter pokes fun at herself.
	+ Winter's father was arrested not long after the events of *Only in a Waking Dream* and got a swift trial that sentenced him to thirty years in prison. Winter then proceeded to send in her forged report cards with Steph's name in place of her father's; Steph did not find out due to her lack of connection to school emails.
	+ Winter and Daniela accidentally bumped into each other on a cloudy afternoon. Daniela, now a full-blown villain, revealed her hatred of Winter and just how much she wanted revenge on her, leaving Winter in a state of elevated paranoia for the next few days. She kept seeing Daniela everywhere and got in minor, but frightening confrontations with her that made her anxiety spike through the roof. Eventually, she revealed this to Rex, who promised to put an end to her daughter's behavior and firmly absolved the blame over the breakup from Winter, who she stressed never did anything wrong in the first place.
		- Rex also urged Winter to blow off steam, and despite being unable to do so at first, Winter utilized her imagination and fought an imaginary, but hardcore battle with shadows that helped her regain her confidence and take pride in using her anger as a defensive mechanism.
	+ Following Winter's imaginary battle, she effortlessly started deflecting Daniela's bullying and focused on final exams, also pushing herself to new heights in and out of school.
* When Winter jokes that Mrs. On would stab her in the neck with a jade pin, she references the murder of Su-Li in the *Murder Most Unladylike* book *A Spoonful of Murder*, in which she is stabbed in an elevator with a jade pin planted beside her by the murderer.
* As Winter wonders what her father is getting up to, she alludes to a scene in *It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia* where Frank asks someone if they've come back over the phone, calling them a "cheap sack of s\*it."
* Daniela's claim that Winter can't cheat her now is a nod to the KUURO and Bianca song *Snakes & Ladders*.
* Twice, Daniela references the Malinda Kathleen Reese song *Don't Make Me* as she accosts Winter.
* During Winter and Daniela's fight, the Tut Tut Child song *Autonomy* is heard in the background and subsequently carries over to the next scenes where Winter is consumed by fear and nightmares of Daniela's onslaught.
* The scene where Winter fights imaginary shadows is done in near-perfect sync to *Talking of Axes*; Av had to pause the song every two seconds to achieve this effect and align Winter's movements with the rhythm.
* After Winter succeeds in driving off Daniela, she briefly references one of her character themes, *Me, Myself & I*.
* When Winter prepares for final exams and faces continued challenges from Daniela, the Tut Tut Child song *You Hide* plays in the background.