Mr Teddy Bear (W6V)

Mr Teddy Bear is the sixteenth chapter in the Wombles Six. For the Wombles Five chapter of the same name, see Mr Teddy Bear.

Batgirl rode to Gotham State Penitentiary to check whether Catwoman was there. She wasn’t. But there were 2 people dressed as her, one who looked rather like her & one that was small with dark skin & her hair tied up. “Who are you?” asked Batgirl. “Catwoman.” They both replied. “Catwoman?” said Batgirl. “Yes.” Said one. “In the adorable fur.” Said the other. Batgirl used a device to check who they really were: Lee Meriwether & Eartha Kitt.

Suddenly Batgirl noticed another stranger, this time dressed as The Riddler. She checked who he was: The Diddler.

Eartha got out of her cell and captured Batgirl. She gave her to a free criminal called Dora Aniston. The criminal injected Batgirl’s side with something strange. This caused Batgirl to go down on all fours & talk & act like a dog without knowing it. She also would see & taste dog food as human food. She would think fetch with dog treats was catch with chocolates.

Dora put a mysterious spray all over Batgirl. This would cause anyone except Dora & her real friends to see Batgirl as a yellow Labrador. Dora then cut Batgirl’s wig all off.

Meanwhile the snoopy man had turned the rubble of SCAR HQ and the huge weight of cheese that crushed it into jelly.  All the robot Roy Walkers were now gummy bears.  Mr Teddy Bear got annoyed with the snoopy man when he found out that nobody in SCAR was captured.  He knocked him out and sprayed him with his own gummy spray.  Now there was a snoopy gummy bear.

Mr Teddy Bear flew towards London but something was chasing his womblet.  “He’s in site Wolverine!” shouted Beast flying the Blackbird. “Fire heatseekers on 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, X!” commanded Wolverine.  Mystique fired the heatseekers.  Cyclops rammed up the volume on the stereo because Heatseeker by ACDC was playing.

“What is that noise? It sounds like bang, bang, bang, bang!” said Mr Teddy Bear to his gummy bears.  “I don’t know” replied Bat Gummy.  Mr Teddy Bear had more than rock music to worry about after that.  The missiles struck the flying womblet and it nose-dived alarmingly.  “Now can we please get about clearing the name of Steed!” said Gambit to Wolverine. “OK, OK, tell again who is responsible for making them wanted?” asked Wolverine.  “Mr Teddy Bear” replied Gambit.  “Well he is crashing right now so we can get him for you to deal with. If you like?” replied Wolverine. “OK” said Gambit.

Princess Charlie woke up in Catwoman’s New York Catlair.  “Where am I?” she asked but nobody else was there.  Suddenly there was.  It was Robin with weird yellow tights and a shiny wrapped up present.  “Where am I?” asked Princess Charlie again.  “Catwoman’s latest Cat Lair but please Princess can you help me?” he asked.  “With what?” asked Princess Charlie.  “I have this birthday present for Batgirl and I was kind of hoping to ask her out when I give it to her.” Replied a blushing Robin.  “I see” said Princess Charlie “first let’s get out of here before Catwoman returns then we can talk romance, OK?”  “Holy good luck!  Yes Ma’am!” said Robin excitedly.

They went out into New York and found a note on the door.  It said “If you want Batgirl bring me Batman!  No Batman (helpless please), no Batgirl!  All my evil- Dora (not the explorer) Aniston (not Jennifer’s sister)”.

Cathy had decided to re-open the Cafeeee but it was rather difficult as she didn’t have a building to use and she was wanted as a criminal.  She decided she would have to nick a building because she really wanted to re-open it.

She started walking around Canada trying to find a suitable building.  She saw one marked, “Hello This Building Is Definitely Not A Trap For The Steeds.”  Cathy walked in.  It was a shop.  She bought some food then the person at the till cackled.  Their skin turned green and they were suddenly wearing a pointy black hat.  They were a witch!

The witch’s nose grew longer and longer and now seemed rather sharp.  It nearly stabbed Cathy but she dodged.  The nose curled round her neck tightly and knocked her out.

Later she woke up in a cauldron full of green liquid.  She gasped for breath.

Suddenly she heard the witch cackling.  Then the cackle seemed less and less and less like it originally had and eventually turned into a scream.  Cathy heard Mrs Peel’s voice saying,  “I told you to stay out of my house!  You are going to pay!”

Mrs Peel attacked the witch constantly until they were unconscious and very nearly dead but not quite. She was about to leave when she heard a gasp from the cauldron.  She tip-toed up to it and pushed it over.  Cathy rolled out hardly able to breathe.

Had this been someone other than Mrs Peel probably what would have happened next would be that them and Cathy would happily walk out and everything would be ok.

But unfortunately this was Mrs Peel so she tried to stab Cathy with her machete.  Cathy ran away all the way back to Rider Ranch.

She saw no one there except for Thomas and Lucy.  “John?” she called.  “John, where are you?”

Just then Murdock ran up to her with Carmy and Claire in the Guineamobile.  “Steed has disappeared” he said.  “I noticed that” replied Cathy.  “No you didn’t”  “What? Yes I did!”  “Didn’t”  “Did” “Didn’t!”  “Did!”  “Didn’t!” “Did!”

Murdock walked away. Well, actually, he danced away. He got in his helicopter and flew back to England.  As soon as he got out the helicopter he came across David Morbi.  “Who are you-“ Murdock began.  “Shut up and fly to America.” Interrupted David, getting in. Two more people and a small puppy climbed in after him.

“I’m sorry guys but the rest of the A-Team are expecting me to stay parked here until they come along. If they find I’m not here they’ll think I’ve betrayed them.” Murdock tried to explain but that just caused the woman to point a gun at his head and say, “If you won’t obey David Morbi, you’ll have to obey Nicole Roberts!”

“And both of those people have to obey Puppy the puppy” said Puppy to himself.  Then they flew off.

Carmy and Claire turned into the guineacycle then ate random pineapples and apples just before it was time for a disco.  They turned back into themselves and went to disco and destroyed the dance floor but everyone thought it was perfectly normal.  They were all weird people on the dance floor.

Jesy had gone for a walk. She heard a cry. Gradually it turned into words. “Help me! Help me!” Jesy followed the cries. She found a wounded dark woman. “Can I help?” she asked, crouching down on the floor. “Oh…please!” gasped the woman. “Please help me up.” Jesy reached out to do this. She managed to lightly grab the woman’s hand. But then there was a thunder clap & an appearance of surrounding thunder round Jesy.

Later Jesy woke up in a dark, derelict & completely unlit building. She woke up saying desperately, “Little Mix, I…need…to find…Perrie, Leigh & Jade!” “Tell me about these women.” Said the strange woman. She touched Jesy’s shoulder. “Tell me precisely who they are.” Jesy tried to resist. Then she spoke in the same breathlessly desperate voice.” “They’re my friends. I’m in a band with them. It’s called Little Mix, used to be Rhythmix. They look like this.” By the strange woman’s power, an image was sent into her brain. Jesy continued. “They’re in NAMI, which stands for New Avengers Military Intelligence, along with John Steed, The A Team, Colonel Decker, Commander Bond & Taylor Swift.” “Good girl.” Said the strange woman, letting Jesy out of her power. “My power can do many things, and you will experience the ones that are meant, perhaps even all of them.” Then she did her evil laugh which just sounded horribly sweet.

Mr Teddy Bear was desperately trying to control his crashing womblet.  Finally he gave it up and started manically firing at people below with the gummy cannon.  Thousands of people were turning into gummy bears.  Half of London had become gummy bears.  Half the buildings were made of jelly!

Eventually the womblet crashed onto Wimbledon common.  The Blackbird landed next to it.  Beast, Cyclops, Mystique, Wolverine and Gambit got out to find Mr Teddy Bear.  It didn’t take long as crawled out of the wreckage laughing evilly.  “Give up Bruin!” shouted Gambit and swung a punch at him.  It hit Mr Teddy Bear but didn’t hurt because Gambit was now a gummy bear.

Wolverine saw the gummy spray and threw the others into woods but it was too late for him.  The spray hit him square in the face. Another gummy bear waddled up to Mr Teddy Bear.  Suddenly the silence was broken by a little song.  “Carmy and Claire!” went the song.  The Guinea Copter landed.  Mr Teddy tried spraying them but it turned that it only worked on people and things for grown-ups.  Not even the lego Guinea Copter was effected.

The silence was broken again.  This time by a fleet of bombers.  The bombers were dropping cheese.  Some landed gummy wolverine.  He changed back to himself!  Commander Bond, Steed, Johnny and Frankie just kept on bombing cheese over London then all around it.  Mr Teddy Bear was surrounded now.  He heard a voice “Want to escape with me brother?”.  He looked down to a see toy villain about the size of action man. “You’re just a toy!  How can you help me?” asked Mr Teddy Bear.

Dr Trouble answered him by giving him a bottle labelled Drink Me.  Mr Teddy Bear was desperate so he did drink it.  Immediately he shrank to the size of Dr Trouble and became a toy. “Now brother in evil we will escape! Mwa ha ha ha ha!” shouted Dr Trouble.

Mr Teddy Bear (who was now actually a teddy bear) and Dr Trouble were just going to fly away in a toy helicopter when Steed picked them and gave them Thomas and Lucy.

“Yea!” said Thomas. “Toys!” said Lucy.  The horrified Dr Trouble and Mr Teddy Bear were played with quite a lot.  It hurt but the children wouldn’t stop because Steed and Cathy told them it was Ok to play rough.

Gambit walked up to Steed and Cathy.  They all looked around to see a camera crew from LWT there.  “Steed and Cathy are pardoned for saving us all from the gummy threat!” shouted Gambit.  “I declare them King and Queen!” he continued.  Everybody cheered until they realised that Princess Charlie was missing.

The Batcopter landed. Out came Princess Charlie with Robin. They cheered again.  Now London was fine but Batgirl wasn’t and neither was Robin.  Batman was kicking him about for flying the Batcopter without permission.

Steed, Cathy, Thomas and Lucy were about to go back home when they heard a voice.

“Whatever I do!” it was saying.  “Whatever I do, whether I’m good or bad, whether I help you or try to kill you all that happens to me is punching and kicking and misery!”

Steed and Cathy turned around to see Mrs Peel.  Thomas and Lucy wandered off.

“Well I *tried* to be your friend!” shouted back Cathy. “But you… oh, I don’t know. There’s just something that seems to stop me from liking you!  But seriously, wouldn’t you find it hard to be someone’s friend after they constantly tried to kill you with a machete?  Wouldn’t you!”

Mrs Peel growled and walked up to Cathy.  “You think *I* hurt *you?*” she said.  “You took everything from me!  First Steed, then my life, then all my happiness!”

A few seconds after this Mrs Peel dropped her machete.  She looked all round her as Cathy began to cry.  Mrs Peel felt guilty.  Very guilty. She put the machete in Cathy’s hands and ran away.

“Are you ok?” asked Steed. “I think so” replied Cathy.  “Has Mrs Peel joined us again?” asked Steed. “I think so” replied Cathy.  “Are you going to say that about everything?” “I think so”  “Wait a minute-have we lost Thomas and Lucy again?”  “I think so”  “Ow! Did someone just hit me?”  “I think so”

Someone had hit him. But no one recognised this person. They were a dark-haired man wearing orange.  “Who are you?” asked Steed.  “Mustard” replied the man.

Two more men and three women came along.  One of them was Peacock!  “Before you ask, the one in purple is Plum, green is… well… Green, red is Scarlet, and white is… well… White.”

Next Katy floated down on some balloons singing a song about birthdays.  Everyone was surrounded by the villains!