Neil Ludwig

Neil Ludwig is a main character of Escam, also known as Escam Escapism Anthology. Neil is shown in Escam through drawings, short animations, and text based slideshows. Neil is represented as yellow in text, slideshows about his childhood represent him in a brighter yellow. Neil Ludwig's first appearance was in a TikTok uploaded on July 15th 2022, with the caption "Neil!!! He is doing some self reflection!!!!!!!!!! My beloved" source

## General Information

Neil is described as chronically online, which refers to someone who spends so much time online that it skews their sense of reality due to lack of real-world experience. Neil’s reference page on TikTok describes him as a discord mod, porn addict, and transmedicalist. Neil is also a transgender man, and homosexual. Neil gets attached to anyone who gives him attention. He is known to start discourse on the internet, even if he doesn’t believe in anything. He does not shower often, though his partner Abraham Efron encourages him frequently. Though not confirmed, Neil shows traits for BPD based on his tendency to cling to and base his entire existence on a favorite person (FP), and threatens suicide when his partner tries to break up with him often.

## Relationships

Abraham Efron (significant other): Neil’s partner, the relationship is toxic and codependent. Neil often break down if Efron shows any negative emotions towards Neil, and has threatened to kill himself when Efron threatens or tries to break up. Efron takes advantage of Neil’s dependence at times, often emotionally abusing and gaslighting him.

Neil's Mother (Abusive parent) Neil and his mother are at the time of the story presumably no contact as it is mentioned that Neil was kicked out as an adult (source needed).

Neil's Sibling Name and general information unknown, Neil is petty because they came out as nonbinary and were accepted by Neil's Mother.

## Backstory

The exact timeline of Neil’s childhood is unknown as there are no set dates, and the slideshows are not always in chronological order. Slideshows about Neil’s childhood often depict him as a brighter yellow in order.

As a child his mother put him on a restrictive diet and would sneak food when he couldn’t sleep due to nausea. When his mother found out, she locked all the cabinets, and Neil subsisted off of food bars he had previously taken. In the present, Neil carries guilt from this situation, claiming that he should’ve just listened to his mother.

As a child Neil had a hard time making friends, and instead of trying to solve his social issues Neil embraced insults as compliments. This let him become closer to people, not because they liked him but because they saw him as entertaining. Neil saw his life as a performance, one his social stability depended on.

Likely as a young teenager, Neil came out as transgender and began to self harm. As he got further Neil did it for validation, as he saw people began to care about him when he was hurt. He was bullied for being transgender around this time as well. Neil went to a ‘teen camp’ at some point, likely around this time. There is not much known about the camp, but it is theorized this was a troubled teen wilderness program.

At some point in his childhood Neil attempted to kill himself via overdose, which in an episode describing his recovery in the hospital his mom centered the incident around her. A notable line from this episode is that she said trans people online had groomed him into attempting instead of accepting any responsibility for Neil's attempt.

Neil in general looks back on his childhood trauma with guilt, and has internalized a lot of what his mom told him

This page is not fully fleshed out, if you have more information please add it!

## Personality

Discourse enjoyer and transmed.

Extremely depressed.

Seeks attention a lot, usually from his partner Efron, and freaks out and becomes stressed when he does not get that attention.

## Appearance

He has blonde hair.

As mentioned before, he is plus-sized.

Has a little bit of facial hair.

Has eyebags, probably from lack of sleep and too much screentime.