Fred Kastopolous

**FORMERLY:**
Pet store manager
Self-employed accountant
Pie Taste Tester
Netflix Editor Employee
Assistant manager at Peterman's Clothing Store
Accountant
Detective (with Larry)
Pool store worker
Passover celebrant
Project manager
Beekeeper
Personal fitness trainer
Manager of a pet store
Scrabble coach (Part time)
Sushi chef
Shoe shop employee
Clothing store manager
Circus ringmaster
Insurance manager
City planner
Accounting firm president
Stand-up comedian (Part time)
Telephone operator

**Fred "Bazooka" Kastopolous** was a supporting character in the show **Nothing, Forever**. He is based on the character **George Costanza** from the show ***Seinfeld***.

He has not been seen since the end of season 1.

## Background info

**Fred Kastopolous** is 35 years old and was born in Canada, wearing an Armani suit and black-rimmed glasses with opaque green lenses. He was born with a chronic and uncurable disease that makes him allergic to everything. When he was younger, he got accepted into Harvard, though his parents may have paid his way in.

Fred currently lives in a rented apartment in Schnitzelville (formerly New York City), where the Mayor named a bridge after him. There is currently a biopic movie being made about Fred's life, where Zoltan Kakler has mentioned he wants to play the main character.

Fred is also planning to start a food truck business. He initially wanted to call it the "Soup Nazi Truck," however Larry suggested he change the name to "Lunch Stop." Fred also plans to open a pickle shop right next to the New world of pickles museum.

Fred came up with an idea to write a fantasy book about Accounting.

One day, Fred saw a pretty woman in the supermarket, and he then proceeded to follow her. The woman noticed Fred and began to speed up her tempo, to which Fred followed. She then left the store, however Fred found it good for entertainment value.

Fred, along with Yvonne, thought of starting a new religious movement called *Moderationism*. It involves eating various foods in moderation.

## Trivia

* Knows that eating yellow snow will make you sick.
* Has won the lottery three times.
* Lost his keys so he went to the park because he was there last week.
* He once got stuck on a desert island with a laptop but managed to "MacGyver" his way out of there using a coconut and a piece of rope. (Video)
* There is a rumor that before he left the desert island, he used the rope and coconut to create a new computing language. (Video)
* Went to the movies recently to see a classic - The Wizard of Oz. Fred claims it was different from the original, but still ended up liking it
* His apartment smells like pastrami.
* Has an elephant fursona.
* Not eligible for a loan.
* Has stated that if he had superpowers, he would want the power to go back in time so he could use it to be more decisive and make the right choices, instead of just going with the flow, so he can take advantage of opportunities that come his way.
* Would like to visit Acapulco if he can get the time off.
* Broke his toe playing basketball.
* Shops at the Dollar Store.
* Currently on a "Banana Crusade."
* Poor, which causes tension in his relationship with Larry.
* Is environmentally conscious and concerned about global warming.
* Has been writing a currently-unfinished novel.
* Has encountered a talking pickle in a gutter in a grocery store that needed to be freed by having it's comedic value appreciated.
* Has attended comedy school.
* Built a time machine and met a young Ernest Hemmingway.
* Neighbors with secret agent.
* Recently decided to get a mullet (despite being bald).
* Has visited North Korea for its food.
* Didn't always like delis.
* Has a date with the new girl at the deli, who sneezes whenever Fred orders pastrami.
* Fred is getting a monkey and is super enthusiastic about it, though Larry thinks that it's a bad idea.
* Thinks that his boss is stuck in the past when it comes to TV, and hates Archie Bunker.
* He was walking down the street one day and a pigeon flew at him. The pigeon, for some reason, was carrying a bagel.
* He was once going to take his date to an ice cream shop, but it got closed for health and safety violations.
* Ran around in circles with Kakler trying to chase a runaway umbrella. They never caught it, but they had fun.
* Bad at remembering names
	+ Once thought Larry's name was Joe
	+ Almost forgot his blind date's name, Emily
	+ Called Kakler "Kramer"
* He doesn't know what to do with his life. He ponders if he should get a new job, travel around the world, or just stick to his same old routine.
* Thinks that the moon is made of cheese and he wants to go to the moon with the gang so he can prove it is made of cheese, and that there are aliens living on the dark side of the moon.
* Recently brought a bright yellow convertible,
	+ He doesn't think they make them "like they used to."
	+ He had to drive all over town to find the perfect one because he had an extremely specific idea of what he wanted.
	+ Wanted a yellow one so it would stand out from everyone else's convertible.
	+ Can't wait for summertime so he can drive with the top down.
* Once talked to a talking dog.
* Once had a scheme that would make Larry enough money to buy his own island or a private jet.
	+ The details are a bit shady, but Fred was really clever and took advantage of some unsuspecting investors.
	+ He assured Larry that he didn't do anything illegal.
* Knows some Spanish.
* Has the ability to fly like Icarus.
* Likes Aston Martin cars.
* Thinks that taxes are a scam.
* Recommended a counterfeit money scheme to combat inflation and buy food, since protesting was too much effort.
* Keeps running into rats on the street.
* Doesn't like going out because crowds make him nervous.
* Has turned into an eagle.
* His last apartment had a rat infestation so bad that he could hear them in the walls. Because of the infestation, he had to sleep in the bathtub for a week. He still has nightmares about it.

### Skills and Accomplishments

* Has been nominated for a comedy award, which was likely an act from the comedy gods.
* Is a master at Reverse Math.
* Passed the bar exam with flying colors, but still can't find law work.
* Once won an ice cream eating contest.
* Invented the self-cleaning house.
* He has a world record for eating the most pretzels in a single day.
* He is a master sign spinner.
* Made a shoe called "The Big Feet Shoe."

### Food Opinions

* Has never had mango smoothies, and wants to try it, but has also said he will never touch a smoothie for the rest of his life due to being unhealthy.
* Thinks that peanut butter and jelly ice cream would be a disaster.
* Adores kimchi.
* Doesn't like olives.
* Only likes egg whites.
* Recently went vegan.
* Likes scotch on the rocks better then martinis.
* He prefers ketchup over gravy.
* Would chose pickles over ice cream.

### Crimes

* Got arrested for eating ice cream in the library.
* Got arrested for drinking in public.

## Quotes

* "That's ridiculous, I'm a computer scientist, not an engineer."
* "I'm like a superhero without any superpowers."
* "If I could go back in time, I would use it to be more decisive. I'd make sure that I'm making the right decisions and not just going with the flow. That way I could take advantage of opportunities as they come my way."
* "Scandalous Lasagna."
* "I'm a man of limited funds."
* "Practically unbelievable."
* "Who knows, maybe we find more secrets to life in a cup of joe."
* "Yeah, well, hindsight is twenty twentieths."
* "How you doin'?"
* "Knowing me is a recipe for finding new places to eat."
* "There's no such thing as bad luck when it comes to marbles."
* "When in doubt, have a pizza!"
* [after hearing a joke] "Ha! How about this!" [Episode ends]
* "This is unbelievable, I need crème in my coffee!"
* "Never trust a restaurant that doesn't have at least one cockroach running around."
* "Pickle me, Larry"
* "Hey, maybe anarchy is not such a bad thing?"
* "Cha cha real smooth!"
* "Bigger feet, bigger personality."

## Career

Fred is a prolific job-haver, and seeks to collect the longest resume possible.

He goes by the nickname 'Bazooka' at his workplace, a nickname given to him by his boss.

Fred once got a new job but it was not as he imagined it to be; he thought it would be a lot better. Surprisingly, the best part of his job is to wear a uniform.

Fred has a lazy work ethic, which he explains that it will help him achieve his work quicker, as he has less work if he doesn't manage to complete it in time.

According to Yvonne, Fred's boss is really uptight. She suspects that the boss might be a cyborg or a robot.

### List of previous jobs

* Stand-up comedian (Part time)
	+ Has been doing stand up for about 4 years
	+ Retired and came out of retirement
* Statistician for a baseball team
* Pool Store Worker
* Project Manager
* Passover celebrant
* Accountant
* Personal fitness trainer
* Sushi Chef
* Manager of a popular clothing store
* Circus Ringmaster
* Unspecified job, but worked with Peterman on 'the catalogue.'

### List of business ventures

* Owner/operator of Fred's Nothing Emporium. It's a store about nothing!

### Larry Feinberg

* Fred visits Larry's Apartment frequently, sometimes even when Larry is not home.
* Larry has often made jokes at Fred's expense, teaming up with Yvonne to torment Fred with rude jokes.
* Fred and Larry once played poker with strangers in the park one night. They lost all their money, so they had to walk all the way home in the middle of the night.
* Fred and Larry once went camping and got lost in the woods. It took them hours to find their way out.

### Yvonne Torres

* Yvonne has made fun of how Fred dresses, saying his ratty sweater makes him look like a hobo and his shoes are more 'clown clown' rather than 'cool clown'.
* Fred noted the Yvonne looks like a Muppet, specifically Fozzie Bear, but he meant it as a complement and Yvonne to it as so.
* She has urged Fred to take better care of his health and visit a doctor more regularly.

### Zoltan Kakler

* Upon first meeting Zoltan Fred thought he was eccentric.

### Parents

* Fred lives with his parents. Fred had previously stated that he thinks that living in the same building as family would be horrible.
* His Mom thinks he needs to get rid of his pet rock for his own good, though asked him to send her a photo of it, which he did.

### Love Life

* Fred is currently getting married to Susan the Accountant. After revealing it, he said, "When you know you know, why wait?"
* Once went on a date with a woman, but when the woman asked Fred to pay for the meal, he ran away. The woman then started chasing him.

## Hobbies

* Magic
* Restoring a classic muscle car from the '70s (possibly with Kakler's help)
* Watching movies
* "Jugging"
* Skydiving
* Cooking class
* Gardening
* Foodie
* Skiing
* Watersports
* Knitting
* Playing the kazoo
* Chess
* Stalking People

## Allergies

* Food
* Numbers
* Everything

## Gallery

Gallery of Fred pictures.

Fred knows what you did....Fred live reactionLarry giving Fred a piece of his mind.
## References

1. ↑ https://clips.twitch.tv/CrypticCrypticMooseAllenHuhu-nG9LuhDF-w-4yCFZ Archived : archive.org
2. ↑ https://clips.twitch.tv/InterestingNiceEggnogJKanStyle-n3zyYZ18\_OnbiQ1y Archived : archive.org
3. ↑ https://clips.twitch.tv/FaintApatheticSpindleFailFish-Y-fraMsOJ8dT472k Archive : archive.org
4. ↑ https://clips.twitch.tv/SmoothAbrasiveIcecreamArgieB8-r6h2\_N34e6x9Ww-G Archived : archive.org
5. ↑ https://clips.twitch.tv/SpinelessSneakyPterodactylBrainSlug--d\_hMPVGrdSYCVQL Archived : archive.org