Beyond the bright horizon

*Hey there. I'm Jayfeather. And I have to admit something. This is my story.*

Jayfeather padded downhill slowly, gentle wafts of lake breeze ruffling his fur and blowing in his eyes. He slowed his pace the closer he got, before his paws sank into muddy sand, and he knew he had reached the water. It lapped at his toes as he picked his way deeper into the water, shivering at its touch.

*Great, just great. I'll be wet as a dog.* He thought grumpily, feeling the water soak his belly, and the sand below his pads slowly slipped away. Buried below all the hatred and annoyance and displeasure and pain and longing, Jayfeather felt a small spark of fear.

*No! I'm not afraid!* He thought fiercely.

But he was afraid. He was terrified. And the deeper he went into the lake, the more scared he got, the more his heart thundered against his chest, the more the breath seemed to be knocked from his lungs. But there was no turning back. There was something that kept him going. Not a need to prove himself. Not anger. No, it was something else, something he couldn't shake, something that stuck to his heart like a burr to his pelt.

Half Moon. It had been so long since Jayfeather saw her. And as the moon waxed and waned, the more his heart ached, and with every passing day, the more he longed to be with her again, to see her again- twine tails and laugh and play together like before, even if it was just for a short while before they were ripped apart again.

Taking multiple great gulps of air, Jayfeather dived under, churning the water with his back paws to propel himself to the floor of the lake, even though the oxygen in his body fought to drag him back to safety, to the surface.

Ah! Jayfeather dug his claws into the muddy ground, anchoring himself. He reached the bottom of the lake! But a pang of despair rippled through his fur. How in StarClan would he find it? Even a piece? He was *blind.* Even a stupid sighted cat like Thornclaw would have difficulty finding what he was looking for....so him?

He gave himself a mental shake, as he stepped forward, making the mud squelgh. If he didn't find it today, he'd come back again. And again. He'd keep searching for as long as it took. He wouldn't give up so easily. He wouldn't give up on Half Moon so fast.

He searched, tapping the sand with his paw while keeping himself anchored with the other, until he couldn't last longer and drifted to the surface, gasping for air. He fluffed his fur and picked kelp off his paws before returning home where he had to treat countless small injuries; the usual. Thistle thorns in paws and nicks in the ears from battle training. He went to sleep exhausted, but the thought of dear Half Moon gave him energy, and hope, and that's what drove him to dive in the lake again. And again. And again.

Till one day he dragged himself out, furious. Something had *stabbed* him in the paw, the sharp part sinking in so deep he thought it felt like the tip had even poked through the other end. Limping away from the lake, he plopped down in the shade and proceeded to pull the thing from his paw.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Fox-dung!" Jayfeather spat the shard out and gave his paw a fierce lick, tasting blood on his tongue as he did so. "Curse the lake." He grumbled, shaking his paw to rid of the blood. "Curse the kelp! Curse the sand! Curse the mud! Curse the water!" He yelled, as a fresh bubble of blood flooded his paw.

"Ummm...Jayfeather? Is this a bad time?"

Jayfeather nearly jumped out of his pelt. It was his brother, Lionblaze. He could tell by his scent of dirt and debris and squirrel blood.

"Oh, no. This is the absolute perfect time you could have picked to see me. Clearly." Jayfeather started cleaning his paw again, attempting to stem the flow of blood by lapping up any new drops.

"....O-kay. Cleary." Lionblaze agreed. "I just brought a squirrel and thought we might share it."

Something went off in Jayfeather. But before he could start screaming, Lionblaze hurriedly went on. "You don't seem like yourself lately! You're barely there and we haven't talked in so long and-" he froze. "Oh. My. StarClan."

"What?" Jayfeather snapped.

"That..that's...a *huge* shard of your stick! Jayfeather! You went back in the lake to get it!"

Jayfeather froze.

"Jay? Jay? Did I break you?" Lionblaze meowed.

"The stick! Oh, Lionblaze! Thank you!" Jayfeather gave his brother a warm nuzzle. He felt him tense with surprise. "I love you, Lion! Thank you!"

Jayfeather picked up the shard, and limping as fast as he could, he left the shade and thundered into the medicine cat den.

He curled in his nest, fluffing up the moss and rearranging the feathers so he could be as comfortable as he could be while visiting....and maybe staying? at the ancients.

He brushed his paws gently over the shard. Sure enough, the claw marks were there, scratched deeply into the bark of the stick. Love and excitement bubbled in his chest. Half Moon! He'd be able to see her soon! But, would it work with just a shard? Jayfeather was 100% sure it would.

His joy faltered. He had left Half Moon....saying he'd never return. Would she even be happy to see him? What...what if she wasn't? And if Jayfeather had to leave again....what would she think? Jayfeather felt terrible. He shoved the stick away from him, and curled into a tight ball in his nest. He couldn't go back. He couldn't see her, he couldn't raise her hopes only to break them again.

*She'd hate me so much. And I couldn't bear that.*

Jayfeather fell into a light, miserable sleep.

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

*Rocks tumbled from the walls. Dust and debris and fear and pain and blood everywhere. Screams. Cries of help and loss, searing into Jayfeather's heart, so he wanted to yowl and run and never, ever turn back or stop. Half Moon. Rising Moon. Chasing Clouds. Shy Fawn and her nearly grown kits, all lifeless, littered over the floor of the cave in puddles of blood. Half Moon raised her head. Her green eyes sparkled as she saw Jayfeather. She pressed her nose to his fur, then fell limp. Jayfeather yowled.*

\_\_\_\_\_\_

Jayfeather woke up, heart pounding, paws shaking. This was the future. He knew it. He knew this feeling better than he knew anything.

Part of the cavern was going to cave in, kill them all. Jayfeather drew the stick close to him. His eyes clouded as he clutched it, pressing his nose to the marks in the bark.

*Please. Rock, please, please hear me. Take me back. Please!*

A swirl of color and calm engulfed Jayfeather. He felt a gentle brush against his closed eyes, and when he opened it, he could see.

He was in the mountains. It was new-leaf, here. Early new-leaf. Patches of snow dappled the earth and the rocks, but sprouts of grass and flowers and life peeked out everywhere- between the rocks, near the pool, at the mouth of the cavern where Half Moon and her friends lived.

Jayfeather took a deep breath, and padded into the cave, belly squirming with a mix of fear, excitement, and anxiety.

The main cave was empty; Jayfeather guessed the cats were outside, hunting, or enjoying the sun, or maybe both. He'd wait for them here, in the mouth of the cave. But before he could settle down, a ghostly white shape rushed out of one of the other caves, a smile on her lips.

Jayfeather's heart leapt to his throat. He felt his legs wobble, and nearly toppled over. Half Moon froze as she saw him, standing against the mountains.

Jayfeather tried a shy smile.

Half Moon's face suddenly broke, like the surface of a frozen puddle. "JAY'S WING!" She yelped, launching herself at him.

Jayfeather fell against the grass, laughing as Half Moon covered his face and ears and chest with licks.

"Oh my stars! Jay's Wing! Oh my stars! Jay's Wing!" She meowed happily, between licks.

"Okay, okay, get off!" Jayfeather laughed, half-jokingly. "I can't breathe!"

Half Moon stepped back, but when Jayfeather got to his paws, she gave him a fierce, strong bat, smacking his ear and head with sheathed paws. Jayfeather winced, stepping backwards.

"You mouse-brain! You told me you'd never come back! Did you know how I felt? Did *you?*"

"Half Moon! I'm sorry! I really am. More sorry than you could ever know." Jayfeather said, bowing his head and shrinking in his pelt. Oof, if his Clanmates could have seen him like this...so small, so weak, so soft, like a lump of soggy feathers.

"Well, I'll try," Half Moon purred, nuzzling Jayfeather's chin so he had to lift his head.

"I missed you so much." Jayfeather said, mew choked with emotion and love and gratitude.

"I've missed you more, you sappy hawk-heart." Half Moon replied warmly. "Now come on, tell me everything you've been up to."

Jayfeather's gaze swept over Half Moon. She was the same, strong, independent she-cat, rippling fluffy white fur, a moon-shaped silver spot on her shoulder- but she had a thin silver star-shape on her forehead, something she didn't have before. She also had a scar, a neat slash over her right eye. Her face was beaming, kit-like, playful, but also serious and wise, much more than she was the last time he had seen her. She was also older, bigger, stronger...Jayfeather wondered how Half Moon was seeing him. Was her gaze sweeping over the scar on his side? Was she wondering where and how he had gotten so old and thin? Was she watching his eyes....so *deep,* like fathomless pools of alabaster-cerulean swirls? Or was she thinking about the same thing he was...wondering what was going on in his head, as they stood together, beaming like a pair of lovesick doves.

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

Jayfeather stayed with the cats for many days. He told them about the cave collapsing. No one died or got injured when it happened; everyone was safe. Jayfeather and Half Moon did everything together. They barely left each other's sides.

Jayfeather observed Half Moon was a wonderful leader and healer, capable and independent, like a Clan leader should be, wise, and swift on her paws like a medicine cat should be. She often faltered in confidence...sometimes she was quite clumsy, but Jayfeather still loved her, loved her for everything, flaws-and-all.

Half Moon observed Jayfeather was *such a good healer.* He had so much to show her. He helped her when she made mistakes. He supported her choices and guided her actions, giving her helpful tips when she needed it. He was so sweet, and though often grumpy and rude, Half Moon knew that was just on the outside, just a show to put on to hide his inside, which was soft and gentle like a mouse. She loved him so *so* much, flaws-and-all.

Jayfeather treasured the days he was together with Half Moon more than he had treasured anything before. He didn't know when Rock would whisk him away, but that would happen in the future, and this was the present, a beautiful, wonderful present. And so, one day, when Half Moon walked up to him, beaming and bouncing on her paws like a cricket, Jayfeather was forever grateful to Rock that he let him stay as long as to see Half Moon so happy.

"What's up?" He asked her, nuzzling her and shoving the hawk he was munching to her.

"Jay's Wing...I have something to teeeeell you!" Half Moon meowed.

"I can tell," Jayfeather mewed warmly. "So...what is it?"

Half Moon sank to her paws beside Jayfeather, and flopped to her side, so her belly was facing the top of the cave. Jayfeather knew immediately what was happening.

"Kits," he mumbled, shocked.

"Yup! Your kits, Jay's Wing! *Our* kits!"

"Oh, Half Moon. That's amazing!! Thank you!" Jayfeather gave her a nuzzle. "May I listen?"

"You better!" Half Moon meowed. "And listen, don't worry. I'm telling you before you chase me up the walls with your anxiety. I can still be leader. And you can take my place as healer till then."

Jayfeather nodded, thinking he should be offended, but he gave himself a mental shake and pressed his ear to her belly.

"Ouch!" He yelped, feeling a strong paw kick his cheek.

Half Moon and Jayfeather burst out in laughter.

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

"Jay's Wing!"

A paw poked Jayfeather. "Hmmmmph." he answered.

"Jay's Wing! Kits! The kits are coming."

Jayfeather instantly sat up. "Coming, Half Moon. Let's go to the nursery."

"No." Half Moon choked. "I don't want them to see me like this."

"Alright. Let's go outside then. At least it's pretty warm tonight." He rested his tail on her back and guided her outside, where she flopped down on a patch of grass. Jayfeather could see how much the contractions pained her, and was impressed by how Half Moon held a strong face, and didn't lose her head like other queens had back in ThunderClan.

Jayfeather blinked to adjust his eyes to the fading moonlight. He pressed his paw to her belly, feeling their strong kit struggle, fighting and impatient to get into the world.

"How long?" he asked.

"I've been feeling it since midnight, but it's coming now," Half Moon winced.

"Don't worry. It's almost over then," Jayfeather purred optimistically.

Him! Optimistic! Ha! But it was true. Jayfeather felt so warmed and happy and a bunch of other sunshine and rainbows that he thought he might burst.

"Go Half Moon! You're doing so wonderfully! Think about how amazing our kits will be. They'll be able to kick me from the outside now."

Half Moon laughed, then yelped, and sank her claws into Jayfeather's leg. He pressed his nose to her chest as she spasmed under him.

Half Moon let out a breath. This happened again. Three times. Four times. Five times. Six times.

The seventh time, the kit was here. A little, perfect bundle of floof, mewing indignantly as Half Moon licked her pelt clean of blood and liquid. She nuzzled her to her belly, where the kit instantly started suckling, kneading her mother's belly with strong paws.

The little kit was a tortoiseshell, dapples, stripes, and spots on a clean, snowy white pelt. Jayfeather's body flooded with such warm, wonderful, blissful love that he never ever wanted it to end. He’d protected these cats with his life. He'd love them, and love them some more, because they deserved the best lives ever. And he would make sure that happened.

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

"Dad! Dad! Daaaaad!!" Jayfeather's little daughter came bounding up to him, with all of her mother's energy. She had Half Moon's bright green eyes too, sparkling and shimmering in the sunlight. She had an adorable stumpy tail, and such beautiful dapples...it reminded Jayfeather of his sister-in-law, Honeyfern, who had the same shade of brown spots over her tabby stripes...and the black spot looked just like Hollyleaf's pelt.

The little kit had his big ears and wide eyes.

They had named her Turtle Tail. And she was cuteness, energy, and kindness in every whisker.

"Yes little Turtle?" Jayfeather purred.

"I!" Turtle Tail paused for dramatic effect. "Caught a beetle! For you." Turtle Tail dropped her shiny green beetle at Jayfeather's paws, who purred.

"Thank you, Turtle. That's really kind." He touched his nose to Turtle Tail's tiny pink one.

"Of course dad! Now I have to catch a cricket for mom! And a butterfly for grandma and grandpa...and some for Shy Fawn and her kits! They're so friendly!!" Turtle Tail bushed her chest proudly. "They say I'm a great hunter!"

Jayfeather cuddled her close. "You are a great hunter. But remember to leave some butterflies for the sky too."

"Of course!!" Turtle Tail mewed indignantly; the thought of hurting so many butterflies was absurd to her.

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"You're a healer too, right? Like mom?"

"Yes I am. Sometimes it's hard. I once had to pull a thistle from someone's paws, who was mouse-brained enough to walk right into it."

Turtle Tail gasped. "That's a bad word!" She whispered.

Jayfeather laughed. "I'm sorry, dear. Dad shouldn't say words like that, should he?"

"No! Otherwise you have to wash your mouth with mint and water!" Turtle Tail said all-knowingly. "Anyways, I wanted to ask why you don't heal hawks and eagles and mice, too?

Jayfeather pondered on this for a really long time. "I honestly don't know. But if you want to help everyone then you can. Remember that. The skies the limit and if you want to help hawks or mice, you can."

"I promise to remember that, dad." Turtle Tail vowed. "I promise!"

"Now go to sleep. Tomorrow's a new day."

\_\_\_\_\_\_

*"Jayfeather."*

*Jayfeather's heart plummeted. It was Rock.*

*"You really know the worst times to show up!" Jayfeather growled. He peered back down to his body, curled around Turtle Tail and Half Moon, chest rising and falling peacefully.*

*Rock didn't move. Not even the twitch of a whisker to betray a twinge of guilt or sympathy.*

*"It's time to go, Jayfeather. It's time to say goodbye for good."*

*"I can't!" Jayfeather wailed, feeling his eyes cloud. "I can't leave them!"*

*"It's time to go." Rock repeated. "I've given you so much time already. But now you're needed home. The Dark Forest is coming. It can't be stopped without you."*

*Jayfeather gazed at his sleeping body, at Half Moon's, at Turtle Tail's. He remembered his family and friends at home. They were in danger. They needed help.*

*"Let me say goodbye." He whispered, tears spilling from his eyes.*

*Rock nodded. "Be done by sunrise."*

### **Part two: The Goodbye**

~Half Moon~

Half Moon woke up to see Jay's Wing already awake, crying beside her nest.

"Jay..." she whispered gently, brushing her paw against his flank. Jayfeather leaned against her, and she curled her tail around him, trying to warm him.

"Mom....dad?" Turtle Tail said sleepily. "What's happening? Why's dad crying?"

Half Moon knew why he was. She knew what was going to happen. She tried to swallow back her sadness. She had been expecting this...ever since the sign from her ancestors showed her Jay's Wing....no, Jayfeather. She interrogated him about it. Jayfeather admitted everything.

She still couldn't call him Jayfeather. He was Jay's Wing, through and through, same personality, slightly grumpy, bit rude, but loving and gentle. She knew he had a different life, a different destiny, with no Turtle Tail or Half Moon in it.

"Oh, dear, dear Jay's Wing. I love you *so* much. I'll miss you forever and ever." Half Moon choked.

"Where's dad going?" Turtle Tail squeaked.

"He has to leave, Turtle. But we'll see him again sometime. I promise. Jayie? Hear that? We'll meet again, walking in the stars. We'll be a family again. And till then we'll love you forever, till the moon falls."

Jay's Wing's trembled. Half Moon pressed closer to him. Turtle Tail padded up to them, and burrowed between Jay's Wing's legs, giving his fur gentle licks. "Yeah, dad! I'll always love you! I promise!"

Jay's Wing seemed to choke on his tears. Turtle Tail bounded away, and returned a moment later with a feather- a beautiful, dappled feather- snowy white and silver, like Jay's Wing and Half Moon's fur had been swirled together.

"I found this for you and mom yesterday," she whispered. "Can I give it to you now?"

Jay's Wing nodded, though the flow of tears from his eyes thickened as he did so.

Half Moon nuzzled her daughter, picked up the feather, and slid it into Jay's Wing's thick fur.

"There. Now you'll remember us too."

"As if I'd ever forget," Jayfeather mewed thickly.

Half Moon's heart burst, and she started to cry too, and little Turtle Tail, still slightly unsure what was happening and what to do, joined in. The family pressed against each other, hearts beating in sync, till Jay's Wing touched his nose to their heads one last time- no. Not the last time. Just the last time for a long while.

"Remember, little Turtle? Sky's the limit." Jay's Wing mumbled into his daughter's ear.

He gave Half Moon a loving lick, then padded out of the den....and was gone. Half Moon collapsed onto her nest. Turtle Tail bounded over to her, giving her soothing lick. Half Moon cuddled her close and drowned in her sorrow.

By the next day, she knew she had to get up and eat. For Jay's Wing. So they could one day meet again, twine tails, and sync their heartbeat, in love, forever and ever. And she had to raise Turtle Tail...the little kit she loved more than life itself.

"Come on baby," she nuzzled her daughter. "let's make sure we remember and love dad forever. Let’s honor him by keeping his ancestors safe and strong."

Turtle Tail gave her mother a puzzled look.

“I’ll tell you all about it when you’re older, dear. Now come on. Shy Fawn could use a beetle to cheer her up.”

### **Part three: The choice**

~Turtle Tail~

Turtle Tail bounced with excitement as her mom announced the sign she had gotten from their ancestors. A new home! A new beginning! A new prospect of adventure! Oooh, it all seemed so exciting!

Her dad's last words echoing in her mind, after all those moons, she made the choice about whether to stay or to go right there, right that instant. *The skies the limit...*and now Turtle Tail had a whole new adventure ahead of her, a future she could choose to build and shape to her heart's content.

Her bubbly excitement only faltered when she saw Grey Wing placing his casting stone in the pile near the inner part of the cave. He had decided to stay. Turtle Tail swallowed back her disappointment. Maybe Grey Wing would change his mind? She loved him so much...she'd had a crush on him ever since the day they had gone hunting beetles and butterflies together and got into a play fight.

Her heart still warmed at the memory; how their pelts had brushed as they tousled on the earth in the warm mountain sun... they were still really close friends, but Turtle Tail wished Grey Wing thought of her as more, like she thought of him.

Could she leave the mountains though, if it meant leaving her mom and Grey Wing behind? Could she give up on her hopes and dreams this fast?

*No. I'm not giving up on my hopes and dreams.* She thought, picking up a pebble and striding confidently to the outer pile. *I'll never give up on them. I'll figure out something. I won't give up. Not until the moon falls...but maybe I'll still fight after that, too.*