The Epic Niko Rescue Mission

The Epic Niko Rescue Mission is the second installment in whatever the hell this series is called. This part has notable changes to Policeman's character and is also the first appearance of Satan.

Everything has been epic for awhile, and Niko is just relaxing at home while Smaeko is out. Suddenly, an unepic gamer enters the fine household! Niko kindly asks them to leave but they insist on staying and it gets heated! This unepic gamer was so unepic that they kicked Niko into space.

Smaeko returns home to see the intruder and threatens to call the police! For whatever reason, Pablo was also with Smaeko. When Smaeko says they should rescue Niko, Pablo denies it is possible. Luckily, Smaeko had the idea of calling up "a friend", the Policeman, of course.

Almost instantly, Policeman smashes through the wall with his car. Smaeko and Pablo get in, and Policeman prepares to activate the rocket boosters. With his large brian, he accidentally presses the self-destruct button. Morgana appears in the cop car out of nowhere and questions the Lancer-Sized hole on the roof of the car. Lancer appears through the hole and then offers to help. He then realizes he has no idea how to help.

As everyone panicks, Policeman informs them there is a way to disable the self-destruct, a sacrifice to the almighty cop car god, aka Satan. Quickly, Morgana offers Valerie as a sacrifice, who was also apparently in the car. Policeman shoves Valerie into the sacrifice pit, which is inside the cop car, and the self-destruct is successfully deactivated.

As Pablo was not paying attention from panic, Policeman tells him they sacrificed Valerie. Pablo is very sad but does have much time to mourn, as the cop car launches into space.
Once they are in space, Morgana says he has been to space before, but literally nobody cares. The group locates Niko fairly quickly, rescues him and skedaddles. On their way back to Earth, Policeman assures Morgana that it is safe to go through the atmosphere, because the cop car is indestructible, and "thats why it wouldnt matter if he accidentally pressed the self destruct button". This pisses Pablo off, knowing Valerie's sacrifice was unneeded. To calm down Pablo, Policeman suggests they go rescue Valerie.

When they open up the cover to the pit and climb down, they find themselves above a giant pit to the underworld. Smaeko suggests that he and Niko stay behind to keep Niko safe. They immediately hear the loud complaints of Valerie, that it's too hot and they need to turn the AC on. Policeman jumps down the pit and pulls Pablo, Morgana, and Lancer (who was asleep) down with him. They basically instantly found Valerie, but they had no way of getting back up the pit.

Luckily, Policeman has a hell teleportation device (HTPD) that he uses to teleport the group to Satan. Once they are there, they ask for a way out. Before they are teleported back, Satan has a pokemon card trade with Valerie, trading a Shiny Charizard for a Weedle, and then teleports everyone back to the cop car.

Ending off this part, Policeman brings the group back home. Lancer comments that it seemed short, but then again, he was sleeping the whole time. Before Policeman leaves, he makes sure to blast the unepic home invader into space. He then drives away into the sky, not to be seen again for awhile.