Buckwheat Warbleton

Buckwheat Warbleton is not like other farmers. Upon the toiling of his land, and the watering of his crops, with his own bare hands he built a multinational farming empire. Even though his farming techniques are not quite like his competitors, it hasn’t held back Buckwheat in the slightest, but rather, the techniques he inherited from the 17 generations of Warbleton Farmers that came before him, that he fully immersed himself to, proved to be the most powerful pedigree possible. In the blink of an eye, what would be a day’s worth for a normal farming endeavor, is “just in a minute's work” for the farming phenom, “get er’ done…” he says as he pats his dirty hands off on his baked bean stained overalls.

The Warbleton empire is even more of a mystery to the world, especially the competitors of the farming giant, because the company employs a total of 4 people, Buckwheat, his blood brother (Kambizlo Trippindale), their prodigy, Gump McGovern, and their “Crop Duster” Bussy McBuston. Somehow despite this, the farming clan manages to produce more than 25% of the Continents food crop, they claim they could produce far more than this too, they just wouldn’t want to compromise quality, as the quality of a crop is it’s soul. As such, singing, pep talks, punchin’ (because sometimes there are some crop vs. farmer disagreements, and a GOOD crop must be MADE the hard way), reading stories to the crop in order to explain their incredible lineage and role. All commonplace and some of the supplementary farming techniques used by the Warbeton staff to ensure the crop’s “soul” is of the highest quality.

The Warbleton Clan motto is called “rough n tumble farming” which Buckwheat coined after processing 3950 hectares of land in the span of 3 days with only his bare hands, turning it from untamed wild land, into land so fertile, even a farming ROOKIE could grow the harvest of a lifetime. To perform this impossible seeming feat, Buckwheat used his lucky rusty spoon to dig the holes, and 1700 years of precious and sacred Warbleton clan techniques for his cash crop. Buckwheat proudly calls these three storied days, “The days of Reckoning” because it sounds cool, there really was nothing to be reckoned. As a matter of fact, Buckwheat doesn’t really remember much about these days, other than dutifully performing the techniques of his predecessors, and the rest is history.

The Warbleton farm didn’t secure all of its customers from *just* cultivating and selling high quality crops; no, there was something special about these crops that their competitors simply could not match. One day the Warbleton bros craved more than simple vegetation; they thought to themselves, “This celery is damn juicy! But why on God's green earth is it so bland?!” This roadblock in their cultivation only added to their strength as farmers; it spurred a whole new roadmap of ingenuity regarding HOW these crops were produced, and why they were different from others in the market.

What Buckwheat and his team are too proud and dense to realize, is that they are actually the most incapable farmers ever, and the three idiots he proudly suggests are responsible for creating the world's largest farming empire are simply that-- idiots.

What buckwheat ALSO fails to realize, is these “farming techniques” he’s been exacting, aren’t a trade secret, they’re something much more sinister. This directly refers to the “1700 year old Warbleton techniques”, which allows this operation to exist.

The absolutely abhorrent “marriage” of crops with new “flavors” as Kambizlo deemed it, was actually the patron of the wilds humoring the efforts of the farming duo, creating what they desired to continue their own delusion that they are the world's most advanced and capable farming duo.

If Buckwheat was literate enough to realize through reading the tome of passed down family history, his ancestors, in the time of incredible strife brought on through famine and war, consorted with the Patron of the Wilds, an incredibly powerful and mystical eldritch force. The ancient Warbletons had their pleas and prayers answered, for the ability to produce enough food to feed their giant family and the local community met, when all of the local fields were razed to the ground and salted during the continent’s civil war. The disturbance of the natural state of the local fields and land, coincidentally, roused the attention of the eldritch force, who angrily looked for vessels to help it return the land to its former glory before the disturbances.

Consorting with such an entity though, comes with a price. As such, the Warbletons have been bound by a contract, performing “duties” which entails utilizing the powers of this force through rituals and ceremonies. The Warbletons have coincidentally been used to rebuild the destroyed land, but in turn, have been granted access to incredible occult powers to do so.

As a matter of fact, since Buckwheat has ignored the family history so much, he thinks that he has “seen and done all farming has to offer” as such, him and his sworn blood brother, Kambizlo Trippindale, are moving onto “greener pastures” by adventuring out into the world. What he doesn’t realize is that this sudden spur of desire was brought on by the same eldritch being that gives him his ability to farm. As a matter of fact, since the lands have been restored to their former glory, the patron of the wild wants to use his dutiful servants to affect the world in chaotic ways as it seems fit.