Pilar

> "*Then it's like, gay, gay, gay, gay! Rainbow underwear!*"
> —Pilar, *The Funeral*
>
>

**Pilar** is a minor character on the Netflix Original Series *One Day at a Time*. She is portrayed by Stephanie Beatriz.

## Personality

**Pilar** has a very laidback yet mature personality. She likes motorcycles and cats. She is a role model for Elena telling her that it's empowering not to define yourself by who you makeout with or your sexual orientation.

## Physical Appearance

**Pilar** has short brown hair that is curly and braided on the right side.

She wore a black button-up shirt to the funeral. Based on what she wore to the funeral it appears that her style similar to Elena's and is more androgynous and casual.

However, Pilar dresses more grown-up then Elena's teenage style of attire.

## Bio

During the funeral for Ophelia, Elena sees **Pilar** and wonders if she is gay, however, she learns from Penelope that she is definitely gay but most of the family denies or ignores it, which Elena finds offensive. She wants to let Pilar know that she accepts her as gay even if the family doesn't.

She approaches Elena and Elena mentioned that she is gay several times and that she opened a GSA at her school, but this makes Pilar uncomfortable and she leaves. Later, at the recession. Elena finds Pilar and asks her Pilar and her relationship with Susan and if she has any secrets. Pilar says she does have a secret, and it's that she is Jewish.

Elena is confused, and Pilar clarifies that she converted to Judaism for her wife, Susan. She explains to Elena that she is out to the family but it never sticks and that her mother tells people that she's gay because she was attacked by a man in college, however, it was actually a female squirrel who attacked her. She gives Elena advice that it's empowering to not be defined by your sexual orientation.

Later, when Estrellita and Penelope are fighting over the mantilla, Pilar says that she had it because she stitched her name and Susan's name after her wedding. Everyone looks confused because they didn't remember her wedding even though Pilar points out that they were all there. Lydia said she thought it was a "very affectionate barbecue."

## Storyline

### Season 3

In "The Funeral," the family is entering the funeral for Ophelia. Lydia and Alex are hug Tía Bitchy and another woman, while Penelope and Elena are greeted by Tía Bitchy. Tia Bitchy asks if Elena still has the one eyebrow. They walk away and Elena asks if that was Tía Bitchy. Penelope says yes, and Alex comes rushing over with a red kiss mark on his cheek.

He says that he needs to hide from all the Tías, and Lydia comes over. Elena points out Tía Pilar who is with Susan, and that she's always wondered if she's gay. Lydia says that Elena thinks everyone is gay and that Pilar is just eccentric and gives examples of this, saying she lives with her roommate Susan.

Elena then questions Penelope about Pilar. Penelope explains to Elena that Pilar is definitely gay but nobody talks about it they usually just make a gesture throwing their hands back implying it. Elena then tells her that is so offensive and someone needs to in the family needs to accept Pilar and shepherd her out into the light. Alex walks up to them and asks "like a lesbian Jesus?"

Elena then approaches Pilar and gives her a hug. Pilar then asks Elena how she's doing to which Elena tells her that she's gay and came out at her quinces. Pilar then responds that she knows and she was there and she jump-started Penelope's car from her truck.

Pilar then asks Elena how school is going. Elena then tells her that she started a GSA (Gay-Straight Alliance) because no one should ever be ashamed of who they are, which is gay. Elena then questions how Pilar is doing. Pilar responds that her aunt just died. Elena looks at the casket and says "Oh, right." An annoyed Pilar then walks off saying "Oh, look anyone else."

Lydia is about to sneak the mantilla into the casket when she is approached by Pilar. In order not to get caught, Lydia puts the cloth back in her purse and starts fake crying and is comforted by Pilar. Pilar then compliments Ophelia on her rhinestone eye patch calling it a nice touch before knocking on the coffin and walking away.

At the reception, after the funeral, Schneider tries to overhear a conversation between Pilar and Susan. He tells Elena that it sounded like Pilar was moving to Tampa and Elena believes it's because the family doesn't accept her. Elena then says they have to do something to prevent Pilar from moving because she's the only other gay person in the family. Elena's cousin Flavio comes up to her and asks to borrow chapstick from her and she tells him not now.

In the kitchen, Pilar is drinking tea and Elena approaches her. Pilar then says that Elena doesn't really pick up on social cues, hinting that she wants to be left alone. Elena then questions her about her relationship with Susan and asks if they are having a "friendship ceremony" soon. Pilar then questions what Elena is getting at.

Elena finally says she wants Pilar to feel accepted in the family and asks if she's been hiding something from the family and feels like she can't live life as who she really is. Pilar then says she has been hiding the fact that she converted to Judaism for her wife Susan. Elena then excitedly says Pilar has lesbian jokes and she's sorry Pilar has had to keep being gay a secret from the family.

Pilar then clarifies that it's not a secret and the family knows but the knowledge does not stick with them. She then says her mom says she was afraid of men because she was attacked by a man in college. Pilar then tells her it wasn't a man, it was a squirrel and it was female. Elena then says Pilar should come out to the entire family and Pilar explains that the family are not going to change and she doesn't care because she knows they love her.

Pilar then tells Elena she knows how being gay goes in the stages of first realizing you are gay, and then being excited about it, and then eventually realizing your just a person. Pilar then gives Elen some good advice: that it's really empowering not to be defined by who you makeout with. Elena then says she might be a lesbian Jesus but Pilar is a lesbian god. Pilar then says she might have been called that before and the two laugh and bond over it.

Elena then tells Pilar she doesn't want to lose touch with her when she moves to Tampa. Pilar then clarifies she's not moving to Tampa, she and Susan are just going to Busch Gardens for vacation. Elena then says "yeah you are" and tries to high-five Pilar who just rolls her eyes and puts Elena's arm down.

Later, Lydia and Mirtha hold hands and finish their song and everyone applauds. Penelope then tells Estrellita she is glad the stupid mantilla crap is behind them, Estrellita agrees and asks where the mantilla is, saying she wants to get her and her husband Juan's names stitched into as they didn't have it at their wedding. Penelope takes it out of Lydia's purse and asks if she will give it back after.

Estrellita then asks if she's getting remarried. Penelope says she might but she wants to save it for her kids as they are the next oldest in the family, so it makes sense. Estrellita asks "does it?" Penelope then questions what she means. Esterellta elaborates saying that doesn't make sense because Elena is gay and Penelope retorts saying her son Flavio is super gay, a comment that clearly does not sit well with Estrellita. Flavio then makes a comment on the apartment walls in the apartment being yellow. This then leads to the two women fighting over the mantilla and Estrellita says Penelope and Victor's names should be removed as they are divorced.

She retorts that Penelope couldn't keep Victor tied down so neither should the mantilla. This comment causes Penelope to look away in shock. Schneider then says that was nasty and says Monica is no longer Tía Bitchy, Estrellita is. Monica then questions who calls her Tía Bitchy.

Mirtha then tells Lydia to tell Penelope to let go of the mantilla. Lydia then yells out that she had a stroke. This temporarily distracts Estrellita who lets go of the mantilla. Penelope and Lydia look at the piece of lace and realize there are no names stitched in it.

Mirtha then reveals she knew Lydia stuffed a worthless piece of cloth in with Ophelia instead of the real mantilla, saying they are Cubans, not ancient Egyptians. Estrellita then questions who has the real mantilla and Lydia says it's obviously with Mirtha. Mirtha then calls Lydia a liar in Spanish and Lydia retorts that Mirtha walks around like her hair color is natural.

Mirtha then counters she can salsa without breaking a hip and demonstrates this. Lydia admits Mirtha is light on her hooves and says she would like to demonstrate what the step would look like when one does not have feet like a chupacabra and then proceeds to demonstrate the dance move while vocalizing merengue music. Mirtha then asks her to admit she has the mantilla.

Pilar comes up and says she and Susan used it at their wedding and she has it. She then pointedly tells the family they were all at the wedding which confuses them because they had not realized the event was a wedding. Lydia even goes so far as to say she thought it was an affectionate barbeque. Penelope then says they should at be ashamed at themselves for fighting over nothing. Lydia finally admits she had a stroke and she and Mirtha makeup and apologize to each other.

Penelope then says just because they have their differences doesn't mean they will stop being family. Estrellita then proposes a toast to Ophelia and says at least she was alive to see the president make America great again. Everyone else looks uncomfortable and the episode ends with Penelope saying "I'm, sorry. What?"

## Trivia

* Pilar is one of the LGBT characters on the show "One Day at a Time," along with Elena, Syd, Dani, Margaux, Ramona, and Cynthia, and Susan.
* She rides a motorcycle.
* Pilar's place on the family tree is uncertain. She refers to Ophelia as her aunt, saying "Well, my aunt just died." meaning that her mother is one of Lydia's sisters and she is Elena's first cousin once removed. Elena refers to Pilar as "Tía Pilar" *(which means aunt, although it's possible the family uses "tía" in a more loose manner, such as to mean any close adult female family member)* and in a deleted scene, Pilar refers to Elena as her niece. However, it's likely they refer to each other as such for the sake of simplicity, as "first cousin once removed" is a long term to say.
	+ Pilar's mother is unknown, but it has to be one of Ophelia's sisters. It's most likely not Lydia or Mirtha as she doesn't refer to Penelope or Estrellita as her sister, it can't be Blanca because she died in Cuba, so it is likely Mimi, Marucci, or Monica.
* She is the second Jewish character on the show, after Doctor Berkowitz. Although she grew up Catholic, she converted to Judaism for her wife Susan.
* Pilar said she attended Elena's quinceañera along with the rest of the family, although she didn't actually appear in the episode "Quinces."
* In "The Funeral," Pilar gives Elena the advice that it's really empowering not to be defined by who you makeout with and eventually you realize your just a person.
* It is unknown why Elena never knew about her and Susan’s marriage, as she and Susan most likely were been married before Elena’s birth since Mirtha and Lydia had been fighting over the missing mantilla (which had been in Pilar’s possession the whole time) during this time period.