Cave O' Goblins

28th April 2023

## Adventurers Attending

* Creed
* Skamos
* Tas
* Grrder
* Aloissius Bellum; The Dragon Slayer

## Mission Notes

The adventures started in the guild hall where a very brusque clerk, he told them of the strange goblins raiding merchants and stealing a variety of odd things. Goats milk, coconut oil, bee hives. He told, rather than asked, them to sort it out. Aloisisus was so offended by the man he threw a piece of peperoni at the back of his head as he walked away.

The party got a lift on Haymer's cart to a forested area, with a small dear track leading into the woods. The group investigated and found multiple goblin tracks. Tas attempted to send her imp above to scout, but the canopy was too thick to see though, they did notice a clearing not too far in the distance.

As the party got closer to the clearing they were affronted by a rather guttural wailing noise of someone crying. Stealthy approaching the glade they saw an elderly goblin woman in floods of tears. "Woe! Woe is me!" as the rest of the group approached, Creed stayed back, knocking a blot into his crossbow, just incase.

Upon entering the clearing the goblin woman's head snapped to attention, wiping away tears and attempting to hold back her sobs. When questioned the crone revealed her name was Nin and her son had run off and joined a cult, brainwashed by a woman named Palthrow. In the goblin's words "Turning them into namby-pambys, getting rid of all their beautiful warts. Their hair far to shiny and thick for any self respecting goblin." The team agreed to extract the crones son and return him to her.

They went to follow the path the crone pointed down, turning back to ask her sons name. The woman who was surprisingly unprepared for this question answered Snotcrotch...

Further down the path the group came across a smaller clearing surrounding a cave, two goblin guards stood watch. The party first tried talking to them, but realised they were having none of it. Aloi realised that one of the guards was Snotcrotch. After a failed attempt to get him to return to his mother Aloi grabbed him and started trying to cart him off back into the forest. This obviously did not go over well. The second goblin was killed before he could even draw his weapon.

Creed and Aloi began arguing as usual, with Creed casting prestidigitation on Aloi to make him smell foul. Unfortunatly this had an unexpected effect on Snotcrotch who threw up all over Aloi. Taking offence Aloi stabbed him to death. Grrder, seeing this cast a spell to stop the goblin from dying. A bit too late however as the golbin crone Nin had followed them.

Running into the clearing screaming "My boy! You killed my boy!!" she vowed vengence on the group as she dragged her limp son back into the forest.

Entering the cave, they found it surprisingly well appointed. Posters lined the walls, each featuring a beautiful blone woman advising things like a 7 day goat milk cleanse. Another had a image of her holding coffee beans and a tube, "Enemas? Ask me how!" The party were sutibly distured by this.

While exploring the team found multiple other distressing rooms. A goblin hot yoga studio, the bee sting facial clinic as well as rooms that looked like they were used for more medical procedures.

After some shenanigans, the party unlocked a large door at the end of a hallway. They had time to scan the room, seeing a giant jade egg sat on a stage before hearing aproaching footsteps from the far end of the room. They dicided to hide behind some conveniently placed columns.

The party watched as Palthrow enetered the room with a group of goblins, one dressed in white. The group looked on as Palthrow perfomed a ritual of concious uncoupling on the white clad goblin. The goblin placed her hand on the egg, who after a blinding flash of light collapsed to the ground dead. THe other goblin's cheered. "She has accended!"

This was about all the expositiion the party could take and they lept into action. Striking down golbins left and right. From a bolt hole in the wall more goblins crawled, clad in skimpy workout clothes the adventures recogsined them as the hot yoga goblins.

The battle ended swiftly as Palthrow was struck down, her body crumpling to the floor and revealing her true form as a green hag. Her hold on the goblins broken they scarpered.

The group tried multiple ways to destroy the egg. Failing until Tas and Skamos hit it with shatter and a warhammer. The egg shattered, releasing specters of the souls trapped inside as well as a black, tar like gloop. It tasted like chocolate.

Exiting the room the party found a set of stairs leading down, emerging into what looked like a sweat shop. It appeared that the commotion upstairs had caused the inhabitants to quickly pack up and leave. In an office to the side they found mysterious boxes labeled "Moondust", a pack of stickers and some intimately scented green candles.

They also discovered a half finished draft of a magazine called Gloop.

## Loot

* Standard Gold and Experience
* A box of everful glitter. *The box and glitter have no material value. It is always full of glitter, the color of which can be changed on opening the box. The glitter does not reveal invisible people or objects. When tipped upside down the box releases glitter for 10 seconds, refilling completly 1 min after being righted. The glitter is too light to throw. It is biodegradable and edible (with no nutritional value)*
* A aura realigning sticker. This sticker has no effect, or value.
* An intimately scented hag candle. This item has no effect or value.

## Rumours

* What form will Nin's vengeance take?
* Who are Gloop? And why do they need souls?
* How far has a the cult spread?