Bagrat Zantarian

## STILL OPEN FOR BUSINESS SALE

7% off for seniors, 5% discount State University student, 6% discount City college student! Additional 1% off if you are a Zantarian or say you are a Zantarian! Neighborhood discount 15% (not combinable). Friends and family discount additional 10% off all merchandise! All rugs and carpets additional 30% discount after all other coupons applied! Look for flyer in mailbox and glossy ad in Fresno Bee every Sunday for new GOING OUT OF BUSINESS sales!

Cousen Armen put some take pictures of rugs here how can anybody buy rugs if they cannot browse our rugs, Armen, it is the beuauty of the internet that both man and Women may shop our fine wares from convenience but not if you are paying your wife's lazy cousins to sit an office and not take photo!

* VERY GOOD QUALITY RUG THAT I, COUSIN ARMEN, HAVE TAKEN PHOTO OF
* AS YOU CAN SEE WE ARE ALWAYS FULLY STOCKED OF RUG
* WOOOOW VERY QUALITY!!!
* ATTRIBUTION: COUSIN ARMEN (C) 2018 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED NOT FOR COMMON MEDIA USEAGE FREELY $10 USE MY PICTURE!!
* ALWAYS FANTASTIC RUG HERE AT [populate; "Table 2: Rug Store Front Names]
* MANY AMAZING CARPET RUG HERE!! WOW!!
* ALSO SELL WALL RUGS, PLEASE INQUIRE FOR PRICING
1/7
## PRICE GOUGING IS A CRIME (Trust Me, I Have Status 1: *Tolerated*)

Ventrue, Tremere, you pay cost plus 1%, please, my ungrateful and wicked sons must eat.

Zantarians now selling face mask! *Essential* face mask, illegal to price-gouge, £59.95 per box plus modest S+H+customs and tariffs & currency exchange+etc. *always sold out forever*. You can't buy.

What you *can* buy: *luxury* face mask. Woven by rug women in old country by love with hands. No one cut them up from old carpet, Cousen Armen not a rug woman and Dollar Tree is not old country. Quality designs, premium ingredients, N105 protection, $200 per mask. Re-use up to three times!

Now: trade in your old and broken smart phones for store credit!

## DO NOT BELIEVE ONLINE REVIEWS IT IS A BLACKMAIL SCHEME

* Homeboy has been going out of business since I was *alive*.
	+ Don't miss big RENOVATION SALE, limited time, 16% discount all existing stock!
		- *And* you put that renovation sign up in 2016.
			* Most politely, I did not, and Cousen Davit I paid *quite* generously to put up sign.
		- *Please*, Bagrat. Half your shop fronts never open, PriesMart never closes, and you've had that *same* carpet hanging up in front of *some* shop since 1972.
			* *Huge Back In Business Sale*, 7.3% off (limited time offer, closing out all stock!)
* I have no idea where the rugs come from, but it certainly isn't "persia". Nobody goes to him because they want to buy a rug though, comprende?
	+ Yes they do! My rug was a great value and has stood up to normal wear and tear as advertised! I couldn't be happier, A+ would buy again except my carpet is in so much good shape I don't need another one! Oh also just a tip, if you say you are a Zantarian, too, I give you an additional 1% off the price!
		- Service •••••• Quality •••••• Value ••••••
	+ Carpets in the front, stolen antiquities in the back. You just gotta know the right code words and he'll show you what he's got.
		- Bagrat. You think *Bagrat Zantarian* of all people runs *an illegal antiquities market* in the back of his shitty little shop? Who the hell do you think he's selling to?
			* hobby lobby. Duh.
		- Product Review For: *No Antiquities*, which Zantarian, honest vendor of carpet and rug, *does not carry*, but if he *did*, and I *did* buy, **all antiquities fully authenticated with certificate of provenance**.  *"Stolen"*.  *Ha*.  What kind of operation you think I am running around here eh?
			* Authetic ••••• *Not Stolen* ••••• Doesn't Exist •••••
			* PS: Password is *"I'm Not the Sheriff"*!
				+ Ha ha Zantarians, only funny joke! Password is *"One ugly fellow"*!
			* Product Review For: *Plasma, Thaumaturgical grade*
				+ Service •••• Purity ••••• Generation •••••
				+ Arrived un-sealed for some reason? -1 •
* Guy got my fam here, no questions, worth every penny.
	+ All of us are very gratifying you enjoy your carpets. ;)
	+ He's got a route from here to the docks at Stockton. Wish I knew how he does it, he's never lost a single delivery.
		- Amigo, the lupines need carpets too.
	+ Hoy Bagrat it is cousen Cousen Alex (the one of Gyumri which is not married to your Sister) I hopes it fine to ask on review website, you do not answer telefon and is small emergense, Grandfathere Alex detect his computer you generously put for him from when your own personal office is renovate now one day is Virus! and he has poured it full of purify salt. Which is best way to get it work Grandfathre Alex miss Hearts.
		- Service ••••• Quality ••••• Value •••••
		- Hoy Bagrat cousen Cousen Alex again (still the one of Gyumri, sorry to hear about your Sister) thanks you for refurbishe home P.C. Grandfathere Alex back to Hearts.
			* Service ••••• Quality ••••• Value •••••
* Let Bagrat tell you something, my friends, because you are all honorary Zantarians tonight, eh? Yelp!, it is run by the Mafia. You get few good review, it is great, people love, everyone is yelp! Then they want you to pay advertise on Yelp! and if you do not pay then bad reviews! But you see, I am honest businessman, I cannot give better prices or tomorrow I have to choose which one of incompetent sons or beautiful, strapping daughters will not eat. I have no money for mafia. So, the bad reviews. But we Zantarians, we know better than to trust internet. eh? You come here, Bagrat treat you like cousins, better than cousins. Extra 10% off for you, because you come despite mafia rumors. Good for you, Zantarians!