The Pilot (transcript)

**Season 0, Episode 1**

This article is a **transcript** of the Every Chewsday episode "The Pilot" from season 0, which aired on May 9, 2023

### Characters

* Carlbro the Chameleon
* Fug the Rat
* Steve
* Mexican Chicken
* Police officer
* Jakon the Owl
* Finley the Otter
* Lucan
* Girls
* Closet Gods

### Locations

* Steve's van
* High ropes field
* Wally's World
* Egg Town motel
* Closet dimension

## Transcript

(A van is seen driving over an open road in a desert to the right of the road a sign is shown with a sign displaying the words “EGG TOWN”)

(A close up of the sign is shown stating EGG TOWN is 100 miles away)

(Cut to inside the van Carlbro the Chameleon and Fug the Rat are clenching their noses)

Carlbro: Man did we really have to get stuck with going to egg town on our school camping trip?

Fug: Yeah I know bro-

(The camera cuts to the van driver, Steve spinning his head around in a 180)

Steve: Don’t worry boys Egg Town will be worth the wile. After all Egg Town has a Wally’s World.

Carlbro: A Wally’s World?

Fug: What the fuck is Wally's World?

Steve: Wally’s World is the best chicken restaurant in the world. Egg Town is the only place in all of New Zaa-Land that has one.

(Carlbro and Fug dream up a thought bubble and they start drooling at the thought of chicken.)

Fug: Yo Steve why is Egg Town the only place in New Zaa Land with a Wally’s World?

Steve: Well as a matter of fact our very own town Dale, used to have a Wally’s World.

Carlbro & Fug: Woah…

Carlbro: What happened to it?

(The scene cuts to outside a Wally’s World chicken restaurant. Police cars are surrounding the area.)

(The scene cuts to the back of a police man hiding behind his car aiming a loud speaker at the Wally’s World)

(It cuts to the front of him as he speaks into the speaker.)

Police Officer: Mexican Chicken get the kids to stop eating the coul slour and come on out with your hands up!

(The camera cuts to the inside of the Wally’s World a chicken man standing in the kitchen with a gun, while kids are sat at the diner tables eating th cool slour)

Mr Chicken Man: (In a mexican accent) Nah essay, you’re never taking me alive!

(The chicken man looks at the deep fryer and dives head first into it)

(The seven cuts back to Steve staring with drool hanging from his lip)

Fug: Steve?

Steve: (Steve shakes his head out of it) oh yeah our Wally’s shut down years ago because the chicken mascot kept jizzed in the cool slour.

Carlbro: Ohhhh, makes sense.

Steve: I’m not really supposed to since I’m a school chaperone but I’ll take you boys to Wally’s World myself. As long as you keep it a pinkie promise.

(Carlbro and Fug drool once again  and grip their pinkies around Steve’s)

Fug: Man, I’m glad we’re going to Egg Town for the Wally’s. I mean we could of had it worse like the other guys and gone to Paintball Camp with Chubby Ginger.

(Carlbro and Fug shudder to a flashback at Dale High school Fug, Carlbro and Pat are leaning against the library on their phones. Before Jack runs from the right holding a slip of paper)

Jack: Guys! The school revealed who’s going where for the mono-annually school camping trips!

Carlbro: Let me see that! (Carlbro snatches the slip from Jack)

(Carlbro and Fug skim over the price of paper)

Carlbro: Aw hell yeah! Fug we’re going to Egg Town. That place wrecks like shitty eggs

(Carlbro and Fug slap eachother’s hands. Fug takes the slip and skins over it himself)

Fug: Aw sick! Jack you and Pat are going to Paintball camp.

Jack: Yeah I know hopefully it won’t be-

Chubby Ginger: Hey Jack (He turns to Jack) Hey Pat (He turns to Pat)Did I hear someone say they’re going to paintball camp!?

(A chubby ginger with glasses rises up above Pat and Jack as they shrink below him dramatically)

Pat: Ah yeah we did.

Chubby Ginger: Well good news for you guys cause the paintball camp was my first choice so I can tell we’re gonna have heaps of fun. (He reaches his arms around Jack and Pat)

Jack: No, this can’t be possible! (Jack snatches the slip back from Fergus then seeing Chubby Ginger’s name at the top of the list)

Jack & Pat: Noooooooo!

Carlbro: (whispers to Fug) I think this is where we run and thank god.

(Carlbro and Fug run away from Chubby ginger his hands still wrapped around Pat and Jack as they cry, scream and shout)

(Flashback ends)

Carlbro: Ugh, yeah fuck chubby ginger and his penis warts.

(The camera cuts to a sunset in a field and kids are jumping from a huge tower in the field and landing on the mattress. The camera pans up from Carlbro and Fug as they stare at the tower)

Fug: Steve why didn’t you tell us the whole class has to jump from this fucking shit?

Steve: It's the annual tower leap everyone on the Egg Town Camp has to jump at least once.

Carlbro: Man shut your ass up Steve no one’s jumping that more than once.

(Carlbro and Fug stand atop the tower as the wind blows across them)

Carlbro: Nah fuck this bro, Fug you’re jumping first

(Fug’s toes overhang the plank as he looks down at the mat below)

Carlbro: What are you waiting for man? The girls are watching you wuss out.

Fug: Ah fuck bro I can’t do this.

(Fug turns around and runs into Carlbro sending them both falling towards the mat)

Carlbro & Fug: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Carlbro and Fug hit the mat and the girls are seen laughing from afar. Carlbro and Fug’s cheeks turn red and Carlbro’s changes into red, yellow and green the same colors as the mat)

Carlbro: God! Fuck being a chameleon man. (he slaps himself in the face turning back to green)

Fug: Fuck man those chicks were definitely laughing at us.

(The girls attention turns as they look up)

Girl 1: Oh my god it’s Lucan.

(A boy stands atop the tower and triple somersaults off the plank landed perfectly on his feet)

Girls: (scream)

(The girls swarm Lucan and carry him off the mat)

Carlbro: Damn I don’t know who that dude is but he seems like a mega virgin.

Jakon: Well actually he’s really popular-

Carlbro: Hey! No one was fucking talking to you cunt. (Turns to Fug) Jesus what a fucking no life loser.