Eggless Travel

## ***"What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets."***

**Eggless Travel** (瞬歩) is an esoteric concept first discovered by early man before even the invention of fire. Despite this, the convoluted theory has been lost with time, which is ironic as it allows one to triumph over time itself if properly applied according to interpretations such as Ong's Hat. Speculation claims that man once performed Eggless Travel without magical instruments made for the task, but the only indications of such a feat have been recorded in passed down (traditionally verbally) distant tales of yore, the highroglyphs on the walls of the tomb of Will Smithotep, the Codex CV, presumedly the Emerald Tablet, and the hit anime and manga series Bleach.

*"Hear me, what came first? The chicken or the egg? Dost the primordial soup churn as a chicken broth or does the serpent devour that chaos and itself, encircling the world as we know it, protecting its egg as the chicken would have had it had the fangs to do so? And indeed, that chicken is no raptor in these times. And the snake no true leviathan, but too a creature that has diminished with countless ages past. What is perceived as mighty and cold-blooded fears loss. God dost will it. Such is the case of Eggless Travel."*

Dead men tell no tales, but tireless research on the phenomenon has clarified certain principles of Eggless Travel. These laws are expressed here.

***First Law, Rules of Nature:*** Eggless Travel is a form of locomotion that allows one to move through time and space completely unaided by a shelled vessel. Naturally a vehicle would be required to contain and stabilize a quantum field of quark transfiguration, trapping the high energy to devour itself and not allowing it to release in the form of an explosion and instead forcing it to fold in on itself. This would break the strings of the Parcae and disentangle the stability of reality itself, allowing those within the vehicle to fill in that empty space as they will it. Reality attempts to correct this error in the way of least resistance, and that way almost always is according to the implication of the nearest perceiver of that glitch in reality. This allows for miraculous acts of instantenous displacement referred to as teleportation and even through the currently understood concept of time itself. **As the name implies, Eggless Travel requires no shell to perform the action and is considered to be far more effortless than shelled travel.**

***Second Law, Yolk's Expiration Consideration:*** It has been purported that when one attempts Eggless Travel with an egg, be it a natural product from a farm or from some other egg-bearing mother creature or from the supermarket, the entire process becomes extremely laborious. The egg serves as a idol of the universe itself, solid yet fragile. During the quantum disentanglement, the egg cracks and shatters and the traveler's head along with it. It is believed this happens due to the strong psychic nature of shaping reality back into place during this high level of travel and the strong memetic idea of an egg breaking easily, along with a further leap of logic that the traveler itself is a fragile egg that must be taken care with, all on top of the inherent fear of the extremes of traveling in such a way and the imagined dangers of it. Thus, the egg serves as a catalyst and evoker of the fragility of life. **As the name implies, Eggless Travel must be accomplished without an egg to see survival and continued cognition of the desired destination in space-time.**

***Third Law, Order of Staying in the Kitchen:*** Females attempting eggless travel have had varying results of Eggless Travel. Some have suffered varying levels of nausea, fever, miscarriage, disembowelment, or zero-summing (theorized, no evidence), while others suffer nothing at all. Research has shown that quantum disentanglement occurs within gametes within the female body. While it is unexpected what the results of any female individual's travel attempt shall be at first, repeated attempts by the same indvidual yield the same results (confirmed via necromantic thaumaturgies, but naturally zero-summing cannot be explored in this same measure). This is believed to be due to the egg within the woman being viewed as the cradle of life itself, thus fragile, with the fragility extending to the entire concept of the woman being well and alive. Furthermore, psychological examinations have led to the conclusion that the woman's beliefs regarding fertility and the values of life itself and her own self-image influence the result. **As the name implies, Eggless Travel would ideally be accomplished without an egg to see survival and continued cognition of the desired destination in space-time.**