All My Life, My Heart Has Yearned for a Thing I Cannot Name

## *Euphoria*

"**All My Life, My Heart Has Yearned for a Thing I Cannot Name**" is the eighth and final episode of the second season of *Euphoria*, and the eighteenth episode of the series overall. It was released on February 27, 2022 on HBO and HBO Max.

## Premise

As the show goes on, fragments of memories collide with the present and future.

## Plot

The story starts with Fezco in his home, he is about to head out to Lexi's play, but then Custer tells him that Mouse's body has been found. Faye drops her glass and grabs Fezco's attention, telling him not to talk. Fez stops and stays there while she cleans up her mess, and asks Custer if he told her that Laurie killed Mouse and that he shouldn't be covering for them. While Ashtray is getting more and more suspicious, he carefully walks over to Custer while his back is turned and stabs him in the neck. When Fez realizes that the phone is recording he tells Ash to be quiet before suffocating Custer.

Lexi's play is halftime and going pretty well, until Cassie comes on the stage and gets mad because they show "embarrassing" scenes of everyone, because everyone knows the play is about real people. Cassie harasses Lexi and screams at her until Suze comes and attempts to bring Cassie back to her spot. Cassie refuses and has a shouting match with Maddy. After Cassie knocks Hallie off of the carousel horse, Maddy gets upset and runs toward the stage, with Kat and BB in toe. Maddy takes off her shoes while running up the stage stairs and when she catches up to Cassie, she slaps her. After Cassie runs off stage, Maddy chases her out of the auditorium, smashing her head against a brick wall.

Rue finally decided to meet Elliot again and apologize. They renewed their friendship. Lexi cries and hides because Cassie ruined her play, with Bobbi comforting her telling her that the audience liked it. While backstage, Lexi hears the chants of her name, which unbeknownst to her, Rue had started to support her best friend. After Fez hits him, he tries to convince Ashtray to hide and pretend that Fez killed Custer, so Fez goes to jail instead of Ashtray. Ashtray refuses and locks himself in the bathroom. When the police arrives, Ashtray shoots at the police. It is a shooting match, until Ashtray fakes dead, and shoots one of the SWAT member, the last SWAT member shoots Ashtray in the forehead, killing him.

Nate goes to his dad and sees him having intercourse with some other people. Nate exposes Cal and calls the police to inform him about everything he has done. Rue talks about memories of her dad at his funeral. Suze calls Lexi and Cassie, because their father got into an accident. They cry because their father could have died, while Lexi remembers how Rue had been in the hospital too. Rue and Lexi then talk about how losing their fathers have affected them in different ways and how they'll always be there for each other. Once the play is finished, Jules shuffles through the audience to talk to Rue. Once there, she apologizes and tells Rue that she still loves her. After a while, Rue calmly kisses Jules on her forehead, symbolizing that she forgives her but she'd rather focus on herself so that she can stay clean for the rest of the school year.

## Credits

### Cast

* Zendaya as Rue Bennett
* Hunter Schafer as Jules Vaughn
* Nika King as Leslie Bennett
* Eric Dane as Cal Jacobs
* Angus Cloud as Fezco
* Jacob Elordi as Nate Jacobs
* Sydney Sweeney as Cassie Howard
* Alexa Demie as Maddy Perez
* Barbie Ferreira as Kat Hernandez
* Maude Apatow as Lexi Howard
* Storm Reid as Gia Bennett
* Austin Abrams as Ethan Daley
* Javon "Wanna" Walton as Ashtray
* Dominic Fike as Elliot

**Guest Starring**
* Alanna Ubach as Suze
* Tyler Chase as Custer
* Nick Blood as Gus
* Aja Bair as Jade
* Eden Rose as Hallie
* Izabella Alvarez as Marta
* Isabella Amara as Luna
* Chloe Cherry as Faye
* Sophia Rose Wilson as BB
* Veronica Taylor as Bobbi
* Harvey J. Alperin as Robert's Father
* Audrey Linden as Robert's Mother
* Bernardo Hiller as Rabbi
* Gwen Mukes as Leslie's Mom
* Lamar Lyas as Preacher
* Ethan J Runburg as Mick
* Rosie Rodriguez as Assistant Stage Manager
* Jacob Clarke as Guy Next to Suze
* Ansel Pierce as Caleb
* Kathy Dorn as Invested Audience Girl
* Brynda Mattox as Fezco's Grandma
* Clara York as Neighbor
* Aaron Holliday as Skye
* Ricky Guzman as Ricki
* Ashley Lane as Bambi
* Liam Manfredonia as Hard Harry
* Adam Popp, Joe Robinson, and Jeffrey G. Barnett as Cops
* Derek Graf, David Castillo, Joe Dominguez, Wilson Wong, and Nickolas Epper as SWAT Team

### Crew

* Sam Levinson

**Executive Producers**
* Sam Levinson
* Kevin Turen
* Ravi Nandan
* Drake
* Adel "Future" Nur
* Zendaya
* Will Greenfield
* Ashley Levinson
* Ron Leshem
* Daphna Levin
* Hadas Mozes Lichtenstein
* Gary Lennon
* Mirit Toovi
* Tmira Yardeni
* Yoram Mokady

**Producers**
* Kenneth Yu
* Harrison Kreiss

**Co-Producers**
* Michael Carroll
* Julio C. Perez IV
* Jeremy O. Harris

**Director of Photography**
* Marcell Rév

**Production Designer**
* Jason Baldwin-Stewart

**Edited By**
* Julio C. Perez IV
* Darrin Navarro
* Aaron I. Butler

**Music Composed By**
* Labrinth
* Jessica Kelly
* Mary Vernieu
* Bret Howe

**NY Casting By**
* Jennifer Venditti

**Unit Production Manager**
* Will Greenfield

**First Assistant Directors**
* Sally Brunski
* Valerie Johnson

**Second Assistant Directors**
* Colin Duffy
* Cindy King

**Costume Designers**
* Heidi Bivens
* Angelina Vitto

**Associate Producer**
* Alli Reich

**Music Supervisor**
* Jen Malone

**Sound Designer**
* Wylie Stateman

**Consultants**
* Scott Turner Schofield
* Kevin Abstract

## Trivia

* The title of this episode is a reference to the quote from André Breton's book *Mad Love*.
* As of February 24, 2022, this episode is trending as a top search on Google.
* Javon Walton, the actor who portrays Ashtray, described this episode as intense, devastating and extremely shocking.
* According to PopBase, Javon Walton revealed that Fezco was the one that was supposed to die in this episode, but the script was rewritten a day before the last day of filming began.
* HBO Max crashed for many viewers while trying to watch the episode, just like the premiere episode, "Trying to Get to Heaven Before They Close the Door".
* The episode delivered 6.6 million viewers across all platforms, per HBO. That’s more than five times the audience for the season one closer back in August 2019 and the best night one tune-in Euphoria has ever drawn.
* This episode marks the final appearance for Barbie Ferreira as Kat, Javon Walton as Ash and Angus Cloud as Fez.

## Gallery

*See also: Category:Images from All My Life, My Heart Has Yearned for a Thing I Cannot Name*
* Videos
* Images
* Behind the scenes

Euphoria - season 2 episode 8 promo - hboEuphoria - enter euphoria – season 2 finale - hbo

## References

1. ↑ Euphoria Ep. 8: All My Life, My Heart Has Yearned for a Thing I Cannot Name | Official Website for the HBO Series | HBO.com
2. ↑ Javon Walton, who plays Ashtray in Euphoria, reveals that Fez was the one that was supposed to die in the Season 2 finale but the script was changed a day before filming.
3. ↑ HBO Max Crashes Ahead of ‘Euphoria’ Season 2 Finale
4. ↑ ‘Euphoria’ Hits Series High Ratings for Season 2 Finale