Voice Crush Fever

Contains Squwad LoreThis article is an example of Squwad Lore and may not have been directly referenced by Alt Schwift X in his videos and livestreams.**Voice Crush Fever** is a serious but apparently quite enjoyable condition very commonly experienced by members of SchwiftySquwad. Victims are known to develop symptoms of falling in love after being exposed to to the soothing, alluring, and velvety quality of Alt Schwift X's voice. The condition was named by SchwiftySquwad founder and first known victim of the disease Cata Thielemann.

## Signs and Symptoms

Most cases of the virus cause only a mild infection with the most prominent sign being a marked enjoyment of listening to the voice of Schwift, often followed by physical symptoms including tingling of the extremities, full-body relaxation, and generally pleasant feelings.

Those who have fallen victim to the fever describe Schwift's voice as "deep as the ocean yet gentle as the falling rain, a reassuring hug in troubling times, a warmth blanketing the soul".

However, in some cases the victim enters a second, toxic phase of the disease, characterized by excessive repetitive video consumption. Victims in this phase have been known to express that they would be willing to "do bad things for some new Schwift". Outbreaks of Voice Crush fever is thought to have started wars and revolutions, and in at least one known case victims of the fever have spent excessive amounts of time compiling a wiki for a fictional online persona. Possibly this happened as a result of cross-infection with Brain Fungus.

## Cause

Voice Crush Fever is an auditory pathogen transmitted via soundwaves and wifi signals. But the primary source of the disease is Alt Schwift X's voice itself, and with a high infection rate, even a single exposure to the voice is likely to result in the condition. Certainly, most subjects will attest to the addicting quality of Schwift's voice, which more often than not results in increasingly repeated consumption of Schwift's content until nirvana has been reached.

Research with the goal of capturing the quality of his voice and explain the effect is ongoing. Attempts to describe it include "an Australian kiss," "the audio representation of an Alpha's manhood," "like honey poured over thunder" (a phrase borrowed from George R.R. Martin), and the lewd yet most accurate description available — "like being fucked by silk sheets."

Some fans conspire that Schwift adds an addictive agent to his voice in order to lure in more viewers. This has been dismissed as heresy, as evidence is weak. However other YouTube artists, notably the famous author Marten Cordial, have been known to use voice modulators in an apparent attempt to emulate the effect.

## Treatment and Cure

There is no specific medication available to treat Voice Crush Fever; however, maintaining fluid balance has proven critical. All Schwifty Squwad members are recommended to maintain proper levels of "hydration" by Squwad founder and unofficial caretaker Hairless Oyster, but this is especially pertinent to victims of Voice Crush Fever.

Serious research into a cure for Voice Crush Fever has not been initiated, as subjects are unwilling to participate in such experiments and would rather let the virus evolve into a chronic condition.

See also: Brain Fungus