Mlp Eqg Parody Rock A Bye Birdie

**Bon Bon:** *[runs outside to retrieve the newspaper]* Candy, the paper's here!

*[Candy comes out on a motorized skateboard. Bon Bon gives her the paper but keeps the rubber band.]*

**Bon Bon:** You can have this, buddy. 'Cause all I need is the entertainment section!

*[Bon Bon shakes the rubber band around for emphasis. Hums while she stretches the rubber band around the middle of her body and snaps it together, turning her into a bowtie-like shape]*

**Bon Bon:** I am a happy girl! *[runs around, laughing, while Candy is reading the paper]*

**Candy:** *[looking slightly annoyed by Bon Bon by rolling her eyes]* Meow. *[Bon Bon runs into Lyra, who also has a rubber band stretched around her]*

**Lyra:** I see you got the paper. *[her rubber band snaps off]*

**Bon Bon:** Oh, hey, Lyra. *[then her rubber band snaps off as well. Lyra clears her throat]* Well, I'd better get going.

**Lyra:** Yep, see you later. *[both walk off but then hear a chirping sound and they both quickly run back, with their hands over their ears]*

**Bon Bon and Lyra:** What did you say?

**Lyra:** Well, I didn't say anything.

**Bon Bon:** I didn't say anything, either.

**Bon Bon and Lyra:** See you later then. *[both walk off again and the squeaking noise is heard again, so they both run back. This time, they are angry]*

**Bon Bon:** *[Pointing at Lyra]* Alright, quit messing with me, I know you said something.

**Lyra:** Ah, but it is you *[points]* that is messing with me. *[both look down to see the squeaking noise is coming from a shaking branch. Lyra points downward.]* That's what's messing with us.

**Bon Bon:** It's a baby bird.

**Lyra:** *[lifts up her foot with a threatening look on her face, looking as though she is about to smash the bird]* I'll take care of this!

**Bon Bon:** No, Lyra! It's totally helpless. *[takes the baby bird in her hands]* It looks like he can't even fly yet.

**Lyra:** What's the matter, is he stupid?

**Bon Bon:** No, Lyra, he's just a baby. *[close-up of the chirping bird in Bon Bon's hands]* He's all alone with no one to take care of him.

**Lyra:** Well, we can't just leave him out here.

**Bon Bon:** You're right. Come on, let's take him into my house. *[both run in and set the baby bird on the ground]* Hmmm, let's see, we need a box for him to sleep in. *[Bon Bon brings a box and sets it in front of the bird]* There you go. It's the best seat *[points to her rear]* in the house. *[scene cuts to Candy, who does a rimshot]*

**Lyra:** Let me see! *[Lyra sticks her whole head inside the box]* Hey, he's kinda cute. Uh-oh! *[takes her head out, which is now eaten on the side]* I think somebody's hungry!

**Bon Bon:** *[takes out Junior and speaks in baby-talk to it]* Is it true? Are you hungry?

**Junior:** *[chirping happily]* Cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep!

**Bon Bon:** I've got just the thing. *[puts Junior on a barrel and takes out a burger]* How would you like a burger? *[Junior yelps]*

**Lyra:** Bon Bon are you crazy? That's not the right food for a little fella like him!

**Bon Bon:** Of course not. I don't know what I was thinking. What he needs is a tiny burger. *[shows Junior a minuscule burger]*

**Junior:** *[sniffs the burger, then sticks his tongue out in disgust]* Blech!

**Bon Bon:** Huh? No one's ever turned down one of these before. *[gobbles it and gulps it down]*

**Lyra:** *[holds up a donut]* Let's try a donut. *[Junior hisses]*

**Bon Bon:** *[holds up a tray of French fries]* French fries?

**Junior:** *[shaking his head]* Unh-unh.

**Lyra:** *[eating the donut]* A donut? *[Junior blows a raspberry]*

**Bon Bon:** *[holds up an apple]* All we have left is this apple. *[a worm pokes its head out of the apple]*

**Worm:** Hello, humans! I bring you greetings from Apple World! *[Junior chirps in excitement]*

**Bon Bon:** Of course, birds love worms. *[picks up the worm]*

**Worm:** Huh, wait! We will bury you! *[Bon Bon drops it in Junior's mouth]*

**Bon Bon:** Well, you should be good for the rest of the... *[Junior cries]*

**Lyra:** What now?

**Bon Bon:** I don't know! Aww, don't cry. *[Junior is still crying]*

**Lyra:** Do something, Bon Bon!

**Bon Bon:** Uhh...uhh...uhh... Blah-blah-blah, look at the funny face! Doo, doo-doo, doo-doo! Look at the funny face! *[shows Bon Bon has a puppet that looks like her on her hand]* Look at the funny face!

**Lyra:** Wait. I think I might know the problem. *[picks up Junior and looks at him]* Yep, that's it, alright. *[hides it behind her back]* Hold on just one second. There he is, good as new. *[Junior has a diaper on]*

**Bon Bon:** How did you know?

**Lyra:** How do you think? *[shows a picture of herself as a baby wearing a diaper]* And I've been doing it all by myself for almost a year when i was a baby.

**Bon Bon:** Wow, I'm sure glad you're here.

**Lyra:** I know, good thing there's two of us.

**Bon Bon:** You know, Lyra, since this bird doesn't have parents, we should raise it ourselves.

**Lyra:** Yeah. At least until it's old enough to be on its own! Oh, I wanna be the mom.

**Bon Bon:** I don't think you can be the mom, because I want be the mom.

**Lyra:** *(sighs)* Alright I'll be the dad.

**Bon Bon:** Great! Now let's have fun!

**Lyra:** Yeah!!

*[Montage]*

**Lyra:** *[softly, from inside the house]* It sure is cute when it's asleep.

**Bon Bon:** *[softly, from inside the house]* Yeah. *[Bon Bon and Lyra watch Junior sleeping]* Shh! *[both tiptoe out of the room]*

**Lyra:** Hey, Bon Bon?

**Bon Bon:** *[gets into her bed]* Yes, Lyra?

**Lyra:** I never thought being a parent could be this much fun.

**Bon Bon:** Me neither.

*[Lyra is sleeping in a hammock]*

**Lyra:** Well, good night, Bon Bon.

**Bon Bon:** Good night, Lyra. *[Bon Bon turns off the lighs, scene cuts to morning]* Oh Lyra, breakfast is ready! *[Bon Bon is cooking something on the grill as Lyra walks in, noticing the bunch of food that is on the table]*

**Lyra:** Alright. All this parenting stuff makes me hungry. *[lifts the table up as all the food slides down into her mouth. She burps, then pats Junior]* Hey, Junior, how are you doing today? *[smells an odor from Junior]* Bon Bon? *[adjusts her tie]*

**Bon Bon:** Yes, Lyra?

**Lyra:** Kid's got a stinky.

**Bon Bon:** *[doing many chores at the same time]* Can you take care of him? My hands are kind of full.

*[Lyra guzzles down the coffee as Junior begins to cry]*

**Lyra:** *[drinking coffee]* Ahh. Wish I could, but I gotta get going.

**Bon Bon:** Going? Where are you going?

**Lyra:** *[puts on a suit and takes her briefcase]* I'm goin' to work. I'm the dad, remember?

**Bon Bon:** You mean I have to do all this baby stuff myself?

**Lyra:** I'll give you a break tonight when I get home. Don't you two stop being adorable. *[chuckles as she closes the door]*

**Bon Bon:** Okay. *[chuckles weakly. Day turns into night, and Lyra walks in and takes her jacket and hat off]*

**Lyra:** Phew, what a day.

**Bon Bon:** Oh, great, you're home. Now you can help me with the baby.

**Lyra:** Aw, gee, Bon Bon, I'd love to, but I'm totally beat from work.

**Bon Bon:** Huh? *[Lyra sits down and watches TV. A coconut "clonk" sound effect is heard.]*

**Lyra:** *[laughs]* That guy got hit in the head with a coconut!

**Bon Bon:** *[Bon Bon walks in still doing the chores]* Lyra, what about my break?

**Lyra:** Oh yeah, your break. Uh, tomorrow, I promise.

**Bon Bon:** Uhh, okay, tomorrow.

**Narrator:** Tomorrow... *[scene cuts to Lyra walking in at night and taking her stuff off]*

**Lyra:** Phew, another tough day. *[walks by Bon Bon, who is still doing the same chores from yesterday]*

**Bon Bon:** Oh, Lyra, I'm so glad you're home after working all day. I can't wait for my break.

**Lyra:** Work was a killer. I need my chair. *[sits down and watches TV again]*

**Bon Bon:** *[walks in still doing chores]* Lyra, I really need my...

**Lyra:** Tomorrow for sure.

**Narrator:** Tomorrow for sure...

**Bon Bon:** Lyra?

**Lyra:** I'll get to it eventually...

**Narrator:** Eventually... *[scene cuts to Bon Bon still doing the chores but even more tired]*

**Bon Bon:** Uhhh?

**Lyra:** Uhhh.

**Narrator:** Uhhh... *[scene cuts to Lyra watching TV as an angry Bon Bon walks in and turns on the lights]*

**Bon Bon:** Lyra Heartstrings, we need to talk.

**Lyra:** Just one more minute, I gotta...

**Bon Bon:** Don't 'one more minute' me, Mrs. Lady! *[turns off the TV]*

**Lyra:** Hey, I'm missin' the coconut! *[she gives Bon Bon an angry look]*

**Bon Bon:** You haven't been helping at all with Junior! *[pulls in baby stroller]* We made a commitment and you're not doing your share! You never do anything.

**Lyra:** I changed his diaper!

**Bon Bon:** Yeah, once.

**Lyra:** He's only this big. *[shows with her hands on how big Junior is]* How many diapers could he possibly use?

**Bon Bon:** *[opens up a trash can full of diapers]* Hmmm?

**Lyra:** Oh, that's not so much.

**Bon Bon:** *[points over to the corner of the room where there are two bags and a trash can full of diapers]* Hmmm?

**Lyra:** *[nervously]* So?

**Bon Bon:** *[opens up the refrigerator, full of diapers]* Hmmm? *[pulls the cover off the couch, revealing it to be diapers]* Hmmm? *[tears the wallpaper off the wall, revealing a bunch of diapers behind it]* Hmmm!? *[points outside to a garbage truck loading a bunch of diapers into the dumpster. Lyra quivers at the sight of it]*

**Lyra:** *[her eyes fill with tears]* I have no idea! What kind of a father am I?! Oh! *[sobs as she looks at Bon Bon as she smiles]* I'll make it up to you, Bons. I promise. *[scene cuts to next day]*

**Bon Bon:** So, what's the plan for the day?

**Lyra:** No more foolin' around. From now on, I'm Super-Dad! I'll work straight through lunch so I can get home on time. So make sure you save a big ol' stinky diaper for me to change, and you can take the night off, Bons.

**Bon Bon:** *[gives Lyra her briefcase as she departs]* Great, so I'll see you at six o'clock.

**Lyra:** Six o'clock.

**Bon Bon:** Six o'clock.

**Lyra:** Six o'clock.

**Bon Bon** *[waving]* Six o'clock.

**Lyra:** *[waving]* Six o'clock.

**Bon Bon:** Six o'clock.

**Lyra:** Six o'clock. *[cuts to a time card]*

**Narrator:** 12:00 midnight.

**Lyra:** *[with a lampshade on her head]* Oh, that was some party. *[Bon Bon is wearing her mother-like clothing and she gives Lyra a bitter look]* Oh, hey, Bon Bon. Hey, Junior. *[Bon Bon now looks at Lyra angrily as she taps her foot]* What? What?

**Bon Bon:** Oh, nothing.

**Lyra:** Oh, what a relief. *[takes the lampshade off her head and puts it on Bon Bon]* For a second there, I thought you were mad at me.

**Bon Bon:** *[takes the lampshade off her head]* Do you remember what you said to me this morning?

**Lyra:** Somethin' about root beer, right?

**Bon Bon:** *[takes a deep breath, flatly]* No.

**Lyra:** Oh wait, wait, let me guess. I give up.

**Bon Bon:** Does... *[imitates Lyra in a mocking tone with a goofy look on her face]* "You can take the night off, Bons!" *[normal voice]* ...ring a bell?

**Lyra:** *[blows a raspberry]* I don't need this. *[walks outside]*

**Bon Bon:** What?! *[walks to the door]* Where do you think you're going?

**Lyra:** *[in her house]* I'm going back to work! *[gets in and closes the door]*

**Bon Bon:** Work?! *[growls and rips off her hairpiece]*

*[Cut to Bon Bon, not wearing her mother-like clothing anymore, walking outside to Lyra's house. She opens the door, and finds Lyra in her easy chair, watching TV]*

**Lyra:** *[two "clonk" sounds are heard on the TV; laughs]* He got hit in the head with two coconuts!

**Bon Bon:** *[angrily]* So, *this* is work?

**Lyra:** You know, it's not as easy as it looks. Sometimes, I gotta move the antenna, sometimes, I lose the remote, *[looks at her rear]* and sometimes, my butt itches real bad!

**Bon Bon:** *[sarcastically]* Oh, you poor, poor thing. By the way, you forgot your *briefcase*! *[she pulls a briefcase out from behind her back, and opens it up to reveal that it is filled with donuts and ice cream sundaes as she angrily dumps it all over Lyra]*

**Lyra:** *[quietly but furiously]* Oh, so this is the thanks I get for working overtime?

*[Bon Bon is enraged. She balls her fists and fumes so hard, her entire body shakes. Then she loses her temper and goes ballistic on Lyra, and shouts in fury.]*

**Bon Bon:** *[Screaming intensely]* **OVERTIME?!**

*[Bon Bon and Lyra's are yelling each other, and they both begin to argue intensely.]*

**Bon Bon:** *[overlapping Lyra]* Oh, boy, yeah, you're working!

**Lyra:** You know what that means?

**Bon Bon:** And that's the kind of work you're doing?

**Lyra:** ​It means working when you're just too tired to work!

**Bon Bon:** Show me where I can sign up for this, because I've been working my fingers to the *bone!*

*[Junior is heard beginning to chirp]*

**Lyra:** You just keep going on working and working!

**Bon Bon:** ​You never help! *[screams] **NEVER!***

*[Junior's chirping intensifies, which makes the two finally stop arguing and listen to it]*

**Lyra:** *[still mad]* There's that stupid noise again!

**Bon Bon:** Oh, that's not a stupid noise. That's just Junior about to jump out of that two-story window.

*[Lyra and Bon Bon see Junior teetering on the edge of the window of Bon Bon's house, ready to fly.]*

**Lyra:** *[calmly]* Oh.

*[All at once, Lyra and Bon Bon are struck with shock by what's really happening.]*

**Both:** *[eyes bulge in horror, screaming]* **JUNIOR!**

*[Junior jumps down the window. Bon Bon and Lyra quickly run to catch Junior but they slam on Bon Bon's house. Bon Bon then bounces out of Lyra's stomach]*

**Bon Bon:** *[Frantic]* Did you catch him?!

**Lyra:** *[looking sadly at her empty hands]* No.

**Both:** We're bad parents! *[They break down sobbing. Then they stop when they notice that chirping Junior is flying above them.]*

**Bon Bon:** Junior? Hey, he's flying.

**Lyra:** I guess he's all grown up. *[Junior kisses Bon Bon then flies off]* Hey, what about Daddy? *[Junior drops a coconut on Lyra's head for her laziness then kisses her]* That's my boy.

**Bon Bon:** Goodbye.

**Lyra:** *[the coconut falls down]* Goodbye, Junior.

*[they watch Junior fly away]*

**Bon Bon:** Well, Lyra, he doesn't need us anymore.

**Lyra:** This is the hardest part of every parent's life, I assume.

**Bon Bon:** Despite all we've been through, it was worth it.

**Lyra:** Yeah... Let's have another.

*[Bon Bon looks shocked]*