TRP: Goro and Hansel (Cave Adventure, Part 1)

LINA

[Setting: Day 367. The Granger farm.]

When Goro got back from town, he looked around for Hansel, who was nowhere to be found inside the castle. He searched the grounds next, and squinted across the field toward the Granger homestead. There, he saw the regular-man-sized shape of Leigh, and the conspicuously larger shape of his brother.

Goro broke into a grin, 'cause he was a simple fucking man who still got all excited when he spotted his fiance. Psh.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and began the trek over to join them.

IZZY

"I dunno," Leigh was saying, sounding all exasperated. "It wasn't real clear."

"It was a fuckin' date, man," Hansel insisted. He shifted the weight of the woodcutting axe on his shoulder. "I"m fuckin' tellin' ya."

"Yeah, yeah, all right." He just had to argue, waving a hand around dismissively. "You weren't there. You don't know."

"You tellin' me I don't know what dates are?"

Leigh scoffed and rolled his eyes. All fuckin' embarrassed, shifting the parcel of firewood on his back by the straps around his shoulder. He spotted something past Hansel and called out, "Hey! Goro! Hey, come settle an argument for us."

Hansel turned to looked over his shoulder, already grinning. "He's gonna fuckin' agree with me, dumbass."

LINA

Goro jogged the rest of the way eagerly. "What's the argument?"

IZZY

Hansel looped his arm around Goro's shoulders automatically, smirking at Leigh expectantly.

"Psshh." Leigh shoved at his arm -- the one not around Goro. "A'right, well -- so, y'know that tattoo guy?"

LINA

Goro grinned again. "Yeah?"

IZZY

"Uh, so." He got all embarrassed, again, ducking his head and rubbing at the back of his neck. "So he mighta asked me out on a date? Hansel says yeah, but --" he gave Hansel a withering look, which Hansel just met with an even toothier grin -- "Hansel fuckin' sees what he wants."

LINA

Goro's eyes widened, and he bounced a little. "Yeah? Tell me more."

IZZY

"See?" Hansel prodded. "Goro's all fuckin' into it. He knows."

"Y'all can shut up." Leigh scowled more and he hunched his shoulders, turning red as a sunburn.

LINA

"Now, now." Goro held out a hand to slow them down. "Let's not be too hasty about this. I need details. Maybe Hansel's wrong, after all."

IZZY

"Pffff," Hansel said. "Pff."

Leigh, though, kinda seemed like he took heart, which was fuckin' silly, because Hansel could tell he wanted it to be a date. "Well," he said, peeking back up at Goro. "So."

"He said he wanted to get a drink," Hansel teased.

"Nah! He fuckin' said next time I was in Skyport, I oughta drop by, and he could check on how I was healin' up, and if I wasn't doin' nothin', maybe we could, uh." He said the last bit in a mumble. "Get a drink, or somethin'."

"Aye," Hansel said sagely. "That's a fuckin' date."

LINA

Goro brought his hands up to cover the lower half of his face, fighting off a giggle. "That's a fucking date, Leigh. That's a date! God. He watched a cleric fucking heal you right then and there, and he still wants you to come back in so he can check it. Pfff. When I healed myself after he was done with me, you know what he said?"

IZZY

Leigh scuffed a boot in the dirt, blushing, but he bit. "What?"

LINA

"'Bye.'" Goro waved, for effect.

IZZY

"Psshhh," Leigh said. "Y'all don't know what you're talkin' about."

It was a weak fucking protest

LINA

Goro ignored the protest, since it seemed pointless to argue with it. As if Leigh knew any better.

Still grinning like a fiend, Goro said, "Well? You gonna take him up on it?"

IZZY

"I mean, ain't like I get around to Skyport, ever, really," he mumbled.

"You gotta fuckin' go to Skyport," Hansel told him. "What, anybody 'round Glimmerton catchin' your eye?"

"Nah ..."

"Well, then."

LINA

Goro snapped his fingers and pointed at Leigh. "Y'know what you oughta do, is take Hansel with you next time. Introduce the two of 'em, then Hansel and you part ways for the evening, or whatever, 'til you're ready to head home." Goro figured Leigh would still be out of his element going to the city alone. "That way, y'know, the guy sees you got a half-orc brother, so you ain't racist or anything. And he sees the size of the guy he's gonna have to fuck with if he don't treat you right. Eh?" Goro elbowed Hansel.

IZZY

Hansel echoed his eh approvingly, nodding and grinning at Leigh, who scoffed some more.

"I ain't a little kid," he grumbled. "I don't need somebody to go into town with me, an' all."

He kinda gave Goro a look.

LINA

Goro shrugged. "Sure thing. Just sayin', wouldn't be any skin off Hansel's back, or mine."

IZZY

"Aye," Hansel said, letting up on the teasing a bit. "Probably gonna be headin' to Skyport in a day or so to check out the bounty board, anyhow. We can go together, eh?"

Leigh grumbled a little more, too embarrassed to agree right away. "Well," he allowed. "S'pose. But you ain't gotta meet him or nothin'."

"Oh, yeah, I do," Hansel said, immediately forgetting that he was gonna let up. "Gotta meet my future brother-in-law, y'know."

Leigh sputtered and hid his face, then dragged his hands down it dramatically. "I hate you," he said weakly. "So much."

"Aye," Hansel said again, satisfied with this response.

LINA

Goro snickered and buried his face in Hansel's shoulder. He was real fucking happy. He'd introduced Leigh to the guy, after all. Hadn't exactly had dating in mind at the time, but still.

"What's his name, anyway?" Goro asked, peeking out. "I got it off him the first time I went in, but I forgot."

IZZY

"Yosef," Leigh mumbled through his hands.

LINA

"Oh yeah," Goro said. "Handsome name." He peered up at Hansel. "Good guy. Honest. Just the feel I got off him." Goro's feelings counted for a lot, though.

IZZY

Hansel grinned at him. "Good. Only the best for my little brother."

Leigh groaned and made a swipe for the axe, which Hansel dodged away from instinctively, angling Goro behind him, then let Leigh have it after a tiny bit of a struggle in which Leigh swore at him and he snickered.

Once Leigh had the axe, he sulked. "Y'all can both fuck off. I'm goin' home."

"Tell Mom 'bout your boyfriend," Hansel teased.

He scowled.

"I'll do it if you don't."

Leigh ignored him and fixed Goro with a solemn look. "You better be glad your sister's so much younger than you. Older siblings ain't all they cracked up to be."

Hansel kicked a bit of dirt at him amiably.

LINA

"Psssh," Goro said. "He's happy for you."

IZZY

"He's a dick," Leigh pointed out.

"Yup."

LINA

Goro opened his mouth, then shut it before something real inappropriate came out. He snuggled closer against Hansel's side and smiled. "Whatever. I'm happy for you too, Leigh. Really."

IZZY

"Pssshhh." Leigh hunched his shoulders up again. "Ain't nothin' to be happy about, yet."

"Mom's gonna start plannin' the wedding. She wants grandbabies somethin' fierce, y'know."

"Psshh. Maybe you oughta pick up the slack, then."

It was Hansel's turn to scoff and be embarrassed.

LINA

Goro glanced up at Hansel, watching his reaction. He squirmed and ran a hand through his hair. "Anyways. Uh. We'll catch you later, Leigh. Good luck." He grinned again and winked.

IZZY

"Get lucky," Hansel pitched in, trying to get some ground back.

Leigh flung his hands up as he spun off, yelling, "Oh my fuckin' god!"

Hansel considered this a win and snickered again, and kissed Goro's head.

LINA

"Psssh." Goro shook his head. "You oughta take mercy on that boy."

IZZY

"Nahh," Hansel said placidly.

LINA

Goro glanced up at him, then away. "Marion wants grandbabies, huh."

IZZY

"Pfft. I mean, s'pose, yeah," he said, feeling all sheepish about it. Already knew they wanted kids. It was a ... some day kinda thing, was all. Not making any plans about it. Felt like if they talked about it too much, they might jinx it, or something. "She's real fond of Jonn an' Luci, but, y'know, it ain't the same as watchin'em grow up, I guess."

LINA

"Yeah." Goro scratched his temple idly. "Dunno about Amari. She hasn't really said nothing."

IZZY

"Bet she'd be happy with whatever made you happy. I mean, Marion, too," he added. "But she'll let you know she's got preferences." Amari not so much. Really just went with the flow, that one.

LINA

Goro nodded. It hit him all the sudden how weird this was -- the two of them discussing kids, Goro bringing up Amari's opinion outta nowhere, sounding like -- well, sounding like he saw himself as Hansel's partner, for reals. He scoffed at himself a few times and rubbed his face.

IZZY

Hansel gave him a one-armed squeeze and kissed his hair, then ruffled it. "What're you scoffin' about, eh, my sun?" Giving him a little affectionate nudge. Talking about this shit was weird -- probably just feeling it.

LINA

Goro scoffed again and turned to face Hansel all the way, hiding his face against his chest and rubbing it back and forth like he could burrow in. He put his arms around Hansel and grabbed the back of his shirt. "Nothin'. Love you."

IZZY

"Love you too." Hansel squeezed him properly, lifting him up onto his tippy toes before setting him back down. "Whatcha up to, anyway?"

LINA

"Oh yeah." Goro had got all distracted by the Leigh thing. He peeled his face free and looked up at Hansel, giving him a kiss on the chin. "I got a thing I was wondering if you might wanna help with. A killin' folks thing."

IZZY

"Oh, yeah?" Hansel asked, interested.

LINA

"So--alright, listen. Don't fuckin' laugh. But there's this little old lady down in Glimmerton. Tilly. She's all of four feet fuckin' tall, all stooped over, and shit. Half deaf and seems like her eyesight's going, too."

IZZY

Hansel squinted, not sure where this was going. "Right."

LINA

"Anyway, this one day I saw her leaving the market, hauling this basket half her size, and fuckin' hell, she went out on one of the docks and I swear she was gonna walk right off the end of it. So I was like, ah, fuck's sake, and I yelled, but she didn't hear me, so I just ran after her and stopped her. Well, then..." Goro felt himself turn pink. "Don't laugh, alright?"

IZZY

Still deeply fucking puzzled, Hansel slowly said, "Uh ... a'right."

LINA

"For some reason she thinks I'm her fucking grandson, now. Jeffrey. You have no idea how many times I've told this fucking lady--fucking yelled so she can hear me real clear and all--that I am not fucking Jeffrey. But she won't stop calling me Jeffrey! I walked her to her fucking house, and she made me put away all her groceries and shit, and then she wanted me to sweep her floor, and what, I'm just gonna walk off and not do it? Amari'd kill me. And she told me to come back the next day, and shit. I guess the real Jeffrey's been off on a fishing trip 'cause she keeps saying how she's so glad he's back 'cause it's been so rough without him, and all. God."

IZZY

Hansel fought off a smile. "That's ... that's real fuckin' cute, ahuv. Gone and adopted yourself a grandma, huh?"

LINA

"What? No! No. God damn it." Goro's face got hotter. "No, she's fuckin' annoying, and I'm telling you, I gotta find the real Jeffrey here quick and make him go back home and take care of his goddamn grandma. God. Anyway, this morning I went over there to take her some vegetables from the garden, and when I got there she was on the ground outside her door, bleeding and crying." He scowled.

IZZY

Hansel went from biting his lip at the vegetables thing -- sure, sure, was just something Amari had said to do, or some shit, right -- to frowning abruptly. "The fuck? She all right?"

LINA

"I mean, I healed her up, and all. She's pretty fuckin' shaken, though. 'Parently some bandits came through town, and hers was one of the houses they hit. Who the fuck beats up a little old lady like that, you know? Fuckin'--" The rage surged inside him again, and he clenched his fists and growled. "Anyway, she always wore her wife's ring on a chain around her neck--she's a widow and all--and the bandits took it. And she was fuckin' heartbroken over that. So... well, actually, she figured out I wasn't Jeffrey, finally. When I healed her. 'Cause she was like 'Oh, my grandson could never--!' Pfff. So I'm like, yeah, lady, I been trying to tell you. And she's all, 'What's your name, young man?' And I told her Goro, for, you know, the hundredth fucking time or whatever, but sure. And she said, 'Goro, you must be a young hero, an adventurer,' blah blah blah. God. Anyway long story short--" He hadn't actually made it short at all, he realized.

IZZY

Hansel nodded, still frowning, listening intently.

LINA

"She roped me into getting the ring back," Goro said. "I asked around town, found out what people knew about the bandits. Someone said they got a hideout in a cave, couple miles--" He paused and held his arm out to check his compass. "Couple miles that a way." He pointed west.

IZZY

"Yeah, that ain't any problem." Hansel considered, after he'd said it. Yeah, nah, he wasn't doing shit today. Chopping wood with Leigh was it. "I'll take care of it."

LINA

"You? You mean we."

IZZY

"We? Thought she was annoying. Might be a way to get her off your case," Hansel said, trying to not sound amused.

LINA

"Pffff. Fuckin'. Listen."

IZZY

"Aye." Hansel listened gamely.

LINA

"Fuckin' bandits running through my town, thinking they can get away with shit like this? Nah, I can't let that slide. I gotta fuckin' deal with this. Ain't just gonna sit back and watch you do it." Although, literally watching Hansel do it sounded pretty hot.

IZZY

"Uh-huh."

LINA

Goro crossed his arms and scowled. "You got something you wanna say, Bell?"

IZZY

"Nah, nah. Nothin'. So, uh, who else got hit by them bandits, anyway?"

LINA

Goro narrowed his eyes, but then relented. "Couple other folks in town. They were making their way through until they got too much attention from people hollering and shit. Then they took off. They been causing trouble for people on the road to Skyport, too, or so the rumor goes. 'S'how I heard about the cave they been hiding out in. I bet they got a lotta good loot in there."

IZZY

"Oh, aye, we gotta get that loot, then," Hansel said helpfully. "Y'know, land piracy. Finder's keepers, an' all."

Just to see what Goro would have to say about it. Probably be cute if he got all flustered.

LINA

"Well, fuckin'. Yeah." Goro paused. "'Cept Tilly's ring. I mean, that thing's probably not worth much, anyway."

IZZY

"Gold?"

LINA

"Looked like it, yeah."

IZZY

"Nah, I'll take it into Skyport, get it appraised. 'Specially if it's old, bet it's worth a pretty penny."

LINA

"Hansel." Goro shoved his shoulder. His mouth was inching into a smile. "You're just fuckin' with me."

IZZY

"Am I?"

LINA

Goro scoffed and turned away, running his fingers through his hair and tugging on it. "Pfff. Pfff. Fine. Take the ring. See if I care."

IZZY

"'Kay."

LINA

"She's just an old widow, though. Ain't got nothing else."

IZZY

"Really pullin' at your heartstrings, huh?" Hansel poked.

LINA

"Pfff." Goro spun back around and launched himself at Hansel, tickling him and biting his shoulder over and over.

IZZY

Hansel snickered and wrapped around him in a bear hug, hoisting him up and pinning his arms. His sneaky little fingers could still get in some tickles, but Hansel figured if he squeezed hard enough, Goro'd give in.

LINA

Goro gave up biting since he was grinning too hard. He kissed Hansel's shoulder instead. "Hey. Put me down. Gotta give ourselves enough time to find that cave."

IZZY

"For your granny?"

LINA

"God." Goro flailed, kicking his feet since Hansel had his arms pinned. "She ain't my fuckin' granny! Look. Alright. You want me to say I--care, a little? Fine. Pfff."

IZZY

"Yeah? Goro Voronin, helpin' old ladies with their groceries?"

LINA

"It was just one time. I mean--one lady."

IZZY

"Oh, yeah?" Hansel grinned more broadly. "So more'n one time? What a big softie," he cooed, starting off in the direction Goro had indicated without putting him down. "Big ol' heart in my fiance."

LINA

Goro looped his arms around Hansel's neck and buried his face in the crook of it. "Amari," he said weakly. "Her fault."

IZZY

"Psshh, yeah-huh. Made you do it, I know."

LINA

Goro had nothing to say in his defense, so he nibbled Hansel's neck instead.

IZZY

Hansel kissed his head. "Love you."

LINA

--

They had to wander for a while till they found the cave, but Hansel was pretty good at spotting trails and shit, so wasn't like they had nothing to go by.

The entrance was inconspicuous, a dark hole some ten feet tall and five feet wide in the side of a hill. Goro stared at it doubtfully. "Creepy."

IZZY

Hansel scowled at it a bit. Fuckin' caves and shit. Had to be all tiny, too. Probably couldn't even spread his arms inside, and he'd bet it just got smaller as it went.

"Seems like folks come and go 'round here a fair amount," he said, nudging at the worn-in path with a boot. "How many of'em are there, anyhow? Anyone able to tell you?"

He went ahead and pulled his trident off his back.

LINA

"Was five of 'em who went through town," Goro said. "Most everyone agreed on that. According to the rumors, though, might be more like a dozen in the group total. The ones harassing the road, and stuff." He didn't have a weapon to ready like Hansel did, so he just cracked his knuckles.

IZZY

Hansel glanced down at him cracking his knuckles, like he was a goddamn boxer or something. "You gonna stay behind me, right?" he said, assuming it wasn't gonna happen but saying it anyway.

LINA

"I mean, if it makes sense to."

IZZY

"It always makes sense to."

LINA

"Nuh uh. What if it's someone I gotta hit with magic, huh?"

IZZY

"You ain't gotta be close for that," he protested.

LINA

"Inflict Wounds," Goro insisted. "And cursing people, and shit."

IZZY

"You ain't gotta do that shit," Hansel grumbled, but gave up. "Just use them boots, a'right? Get back behind me real quick."

LINA

"Alright," Goro said. But Hansel was too slow for his tastes, so he stepped ahead anyway, poking his head inside the cave.

Wasn't much to see, right off. Was just a long, dark corridor, kinda.

IZZY

"Hey." Hansel stomped on ahead of him, clicking his tongue. "The fuck did I just say."

He retrieved his shield, too, and squinted into the dark.

LINA

"Pff, well, pick up the pace, then." Goro followed close behind, tilting his head to try and listen since there was nothing to see. "Don't hear nothing. Maybe they're out. Left their shit behind, I hope."

IZZY

Hansel moved ahead slowly, and lowered his voice, blocking Goro in behind his shield, a bit. "Dunno. Heard somethin', way up ahead, I think. Ain't sure what. Keep alert."

LINA

Goro nodded, even though Hansel wasn't looking his way. He frowned, still creeping along behind.

The cave widened a bit, but the ceiling got lower, forcing Hansel to duck. It only lasted a few feet, though, and then the ground began sloping down, giving them some more head room. They descended some ten feet and emerged into a small chamber, if it could even be called that -- wasn't much bigger than Goro's chicken coop.

There were two passageways branching off from the chamber. It was starting to get too dark even for Goro's eyes. He tugged the nazar out so it dangled freely over his robes and cast a light cantrip on it. He examined the ground for footprints, and most of them looked to be leading left.

"That way?" he asked Hansel, pointing.

IZZY

Hansel considered. Could be something interesting down the other way, and normally his curiousity would get the better of him -- but fuckin' caves. He was well ready to get done and get out. Or find some bandits to tussle with so he could forget where he was.

He nodded, not saying anything. Keeping quiet. Set off down the left path.

LINA

Goro followed after. Light from the nazar bounced with each of his steps, making Hansel's shadow in front of them bob and sway, grow larger and smaller.

The ground kept sloping down, and it was giving Goro the fuckin' willies. He stuck close to Hansel, resisting the urge to grab at his clothes like he was a little kid.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me," he grumbled. "People live down here? The fuck's wrong with 'em?"

IZZY

"Ain't everybody got a castle t'hide their shit in, ahuv," Hansel murmured. He kept glancing around warily. "Safe if no one ever wants to come around, eh?"

LINA

"Guess so," Goro muttered. "They could always just stash their stuff down here and leave, though. Don't gotta fuckin' eat and sleep here and shit."

As if in answer, there was a laugh from up ahead. Sounded some forty, fifty feet away. Goro stopped dead in his tracks and grabbed the back of Hansel's shirt.

The sound gave him chills all down his spine, and awoke some kind of primal unease in him. It had sounded sort of like a person, but not.

"Hansel," Goro said, and swallowed. "The fuck was that."

IZZY

Hansel froze. He'd seen and fought and killed a lot of shit, but most of the weirder, more offbeat shit had been out on the sea. Whole different kind of shit on land. Couldn't think of a damn thing that sounded like that.

"Don't know," he muttered. Hesitated. Considered calling it off for now, going to get a hand from Mishka and Raef, Larkin if she was around. Much mercenary work as he did by himself, he still preferred having a crew.

This was a crew, though. Small one. Him and Goro. Enough to sail a little sloop or a catboat.

He adjusted his shield and started forward again, real slow and easy, eyes peeled. "Gonna take care of it, though."

LINA

Goro kept following, scowling preemptively at whatever the fuck was up there. He tried to tell himself maybe it was just a person with a weird laugh, but... nah. Nah, something wasn't right.

The passageway opened into another cavern, this one maybe the size of one of the bedrooms back home. Most notable thing about it was the three bodies strewn around the floor. Goro peeled away from Hansel and knelt next to the closest one, checking first to see if the guy was alive (he wasn't) then examining his corpse to see if he could figure out what'd killed him.

The guy's face and neck were covered in tiny puncture wounds -- bite marks, Goro was pretty sure -- but on top of that, his skin was all frosty, and his lips were blue. Looked like he'd frozen to death, even though it wasn't that cold in the cavern.

IZZY

Hansel tracked alongside Goro, shooting watchful glares at the two new paths. Was fuckin' quiet now. He didn't like it.

He glanced down at the body Goro was investigating. Little bites, seemed like. Bat-sized, about, which'd make sense in a cave, but the icy look to'em all -- yeah, that wasn't fucking good. He grumbled wordlessly under his breath. Probably gonna wish Mishka and his fire magic were along, after all.

"Thing was just here," he muttered. "Dunno what, though. Takin' care of the bandits for us. Rest of'em might soften it up if we're lucky, or else they'll kill it. Always better to sit back an' let your enemies kill each other if they wanna," he added, mulling it over. Probably only one way out. They could stick around here and just wait for whatever eventually came back this way.

He nudged the body with a boot. "Any idea about this shit?"

LINA

Goro glanced down at it. "What about it? He's dead. I ain't bringing him back."

IZZY

"The bites, an' all -- that frostbite-lookin' shit, I mean. Ever read anything about that kinda magic bullshit?" He frowned down at the one body before looking back to the tunnels. "I ain't ever seen somethin' like that. Not that I hang out in fuckin' caves more than I got to," he added in a mutter.

LINA

Goro frowned at the body and rubbed his arms, even though he still wasn't cold. "Dunno. I mean. Sometimes monsters just do that. Freezing shit."

"Hey," someone said from the darkness of the larger passageway. "The fuck is that thing?"

Goro flinched from surprise, but that wasn't the worst part. His hair stood on end and he skittered closer to Hansel. He got that uncanny feeling again that the voice he was hearing didn't belong to a person. It just sounded... off.

IZZY

Hansel shoved himself between Goro and the larger tunnel immediately, Goro on the side of his offhand. Couldn't tell shit about shit, but he knew he didn't goddamn like it.

Weird thought, he had, though. Thing sounded like it was ... echoing, repeating shit back. Like someone had said hey, the fuck is that thing? at it, maybe. Didn't bode well for what it looked like, but eh.

He whistled a distinct little tune into the shadows. Six little notes that Chirp used to -- well, chirp a lot. It was the start of a sea shanty. He stayed tense and alert and watchful, but was curious, too, to see if the thing might whistle back.

LINA

A moment later, the same six notes whistled back from the darkness.

"What the fuck," Goro said, now intrigued as hell. He skipped around Hansel and strode into the passageway.

IZZY

"Goro!" Hansel snapped, snatching Goro's arm withrhw hand of  his shield arm. His heart fuckin' bolted into his throat. "Valkur. Stay behind me, ahuv."

LINA

"Psh. You're too slow." Goro relented and got behind Hansel, but he made him struggle a little first. "C'mon. Whatcha waiting for? I wanna see the freak up there."

IZZY

"Yeah, yeah, hold your fuckin' horses, though, a'right?" he grumbled. He kicked at the cave floor, listening for the rattle of stone. "Can you grab a li'l rock and cast that light thing on it? Pitch it on ahead so we can fuckin' see what we're walkin' into?"

LINA

Goro scoffed. "Fine."

He bent over and snatched up a pebble, then cast the cantrip on it. He was swinging his arm back to toss it when he heard: "What the fuck." In... something that kind of sounded like his own voice.

"Ugh." He shuddered and tossed the pebble anyway. After some twenty feet, the passageway opened into another cavern. In it, a couple more bodies were visible on the ground from where Hansel and Goro stood.

IZZY

Hansel started forward -- slowly, giving Goro a pointed, asking look. Made it about ten feet and was sure he saw some-fucking-thing move out of the light. Didn't move like an animal. Was some magic shit, for sure.

"Hey, up there," he called ahead in a soothing voice, like he'd talk to a stray cat. "Whatcha doin', huh?" Then, to Goro, in a lower tone: "You see it?"

LINA

Goro nodded. He tried walking ahead again.

IZZY

Hansel grumbled and kept ahead of him, staying wary and squinting into the shadows. He whistled the tune again, hoping for a response that'd tell him where the thing was.

LINA

They made it about two thirds of the way down the passageway before something darted out from the cavern and straight toward them -- the little hovering thing, whatever the fuck it was. Goro barely had enough time to yelp before it was up in Hansel's face, taking a bite out of his cheek.

It was... roundish, mostly consisting of a mouth and one large eye, with a bunch of tentacles waving around like hair.

IZZY

Hansel made an alarmed geh and batted at the thing with the flat side of his trident, whacking it away and stabbing at it. It made a wet sound -- already dead. He grumbled some more -- like getting bit by a mosquito -- and prodded at the little thing questioningly.

Didn't seem like ... it. Didn't check out.

"Well, am I fuckin' freezing or whatever?" he asked, angling his face towards Goro, but keeping up his vigil on the shadows.

LINA

Goro frowned and opened his mouth to say nah when something whizzed past his ear. Another one of the damn things, coming from behind this time. It chomped at him, but it missed. It was joined by another, and a-fucking-nother, all of them making for Goro. He threw his arms up and ducked out of their way, then pointed at the nearest one and called a sacred flame down on it. It burned up, leaving nothing behind but ash sprinkling to the ground.

IZZY

Fuckin' little -- Hansel barked out a hey like that was gonna matter to the little bastards, and lashed out with his trident, spearing them out of the air. He circled around Goro, tucking Goro loosely between his shield and his chest, and glared around the cave as he angled his trident down and scraped the corpses off the tines.

"The fuck," he muttered.

LINA

Goro was a little disoriented for a second, then smiled when he registered the way he was tucked behind Hansel's shield. He tilted his head back to grin up at him. "Hot."

IZZY

Hansel scoffed at him, taken off guard but somehow not that surprised.

"Dumbass," he said affectionately, and spared a second to kiss his head.

LINA

Goro gave him a return kiss on the cheek, then ducked down so he could get a better look at the corpses of the freaky little shits. He triggered his springblade and used it like a poker to roll one of them back and forth. What he'd taken for tentacles before actually had little eyeballs at the end of each of them.

"The fuck is this thing," he said. "You ever seen something like this?"

IZZY

"Fuck, nah," Hansel said. "Somethin' else in here, though. Them little thing ain't what killed the bandits, for sure."

He glanced around the cave uneasily. Something a fair bit nastier had done that. Something new, though. Hansel really fucking liked new shit. Just didn't like new shit that tried to bite his fiance's face.

LINA

Goro made an intrigued sound. He glanced up toward where he'd thrown the lit pebble, still illuminating the other bodies ahead. Hadn't had a chance to examine them yet. "Yeah."

IZZY

Hansel angled his head and led the way over to the other corpses before Goro could bolt for'em by himself.

LINA

Goro followed eagerly, having to stop himself the whole way from skipping ahead. He knew fuckin' Hansel wouldn't let him. Pfff.

When they emerged into the cavern, even more bodies were visible -- five in all, and the feet of a sixth sticking out from the next passageway. Goro dropped to his knees beside the closest one and examined it.

"Huh. Something... stabbed him? I don't really know what made these wounds." Goro frowned and indicated what he meant. "And burned him, too. Lightning."

IZZY

Hansel frowned. "Like a magic weapon, you figure?" he asked. "Like my javelin? Or some kinda monster like them little shits back there?"

LINA

Goro chewed his nail while he thought, then remembered he'd just been touching a corpse. He took his finger out of his mouth and spat. "Either, maybe. 'S'weird, I'd think I was looking at teeth marks if they all came in a row. But they don't."

IZZY

Hansel scowled at the pattern. "Somethin' with a real fucked up jawbone, maybe. Fuckin' couldn't just be regular ass bandits, huh."

He offered Goro a hand up.

LINA

Goro took it and climbed to his feet. "I'm mad whatever the fuck's been lurking in here got to kill 'em before I did."

IZZY

He snorted. "Us gettin' to kill whatever killed them is just a step up, ahuv. Makes us even bigger badasses, eh?"

LINA

"Psh. Guess. Ain't as satisfying to kill a mindless monster, though, as it is fuckin' up some guys who like to beat up old ladies."

IZZY

"Aye, gotta defend your granny's honor."

LINA

"Hey." Goro shoved him.

IZZY

He snickered and opened his shield arm. "Fuckin' stay close, a'right? Dunno what we're dealin' with here."

LINA

"Yeah, yeah." Goro took advantage of the opportunity to snuggle against Hansel's side. Couldn't much complain, that way. He looked toward the dark opening to the next passage, and back the way they'd come. There were other paths there they hadn't explored. He hated this maze-like shit. "Goddamn. If I'd been thinking straight, I'd'a waited 'til tomorrow so I could prepare a spell for finding the damn ring. Was too mad to wait, I guess. Which way feels lucky?"

IZZY

"Better t'do it all methodical-like." He gestured with his trident to the leftmost pathway. "Y'know how -- ah, might not, yeah. Anyway, when I was a kid, I heard that if you're in a cave system, or a maze sorta thing like that, y'hug one wall an' just follow it. Always circle back around t'the entrance that way. Don't work if, y'know, it's real goddamn big and you just starve while you're trapped in it," he admitted.

LINA

Goro pulled away just enough to stare at Hansel skeptically.

IZZY

"What? That part ain't gonna happen."

LINA

Goro narrowed his eyes.

IZZY

"It ain't," Hansel insisted. "Hey. You can fuckin' teleport and make food and we can send for help and shit. It'll be fine."

LINA

"Psh." Goro tucked himself against Hansel's side again and nodded toward the left. "Alright. Well. Lead the way, then."

IZZY

Hansel did, giving Goro a brief squeeze and then carrying on down the left corridor with Goro tucked under his arm. It was a long stretch of fuck all but low stone ceilings and chilly, stagnant air -- fuckin' caves -- but then towards the end, he was sure he saw something just for a second. He paused, trying to process it. Something -- ghostly, white and skinny and flickering away.

Fuckin' caves.

"You see that?" he muttered. Always kinda wondered if his eyes were playing tricks in the dark.

LINA

"See what?"

IZZY

"Somethin' moved down at the end of the tunnel. Not sure what. Like a fuckin' ... root, or somethin'. Keep an eye out."

He moved on ahead slowly.

LINA

Goro raised an eyebrow. "A root? Ahuv, you seein' shit?"

IZZY

He grumbled a bit. "Fuckin' maybe. Safer to assume I ain't, though."

LINA

"True. Always assume shit's out to getcha, that's my philosophy. 'Cause it's true."

Goro blinked, 'cause for a second he thought he saw the moving root thing Hansel was talking about. Then, it swirled into full view at the end of the passageway, and Goro blinked a bunch more times. He could've sworn he was looking at a fucking jellyfish.

Nah. Nah, not a jellyfish. It was... fleshy, and had a giant red eye in the middle of its head, and they weren't in the fucking ocean, after all. Goro tried to move forward for a better look, but Hansel pulled him out of the way. The thing advanced on them, tentacles flying out to strike, and three of them caught Hansel's shield arm and shoulder.

IZZY

Hansel gave an alarmed grunt. The thing kind of came out of nowhere, but he'd had his shield up already, at least, keeping Goro safe -- even when he tried to get at it. Tentacles wrapped around Hansel, stabbing into him and holding on, and he growled.

He could feel insistent magic in his chest. He just kinda fucking went with it, sometimes, because he didn't know what the hell he was doing, but the pull of that natural, druidic shit knew better than he did. He'd gotten to where he could recognize it better, though, know what it wanted to do before it just fucking spilled out of him.

So he was quick to push Goro away, before the thunder could erupt, booming through the cave and shaking loose some debris -- it slammed into the fuckin' ... eyeball ... jellyfish ... octopus thing, but the thing kept holding tight, so he lashed out with his trident, too, stabbing into it and getting an odd electrical jolt up through his trident for his troubles, and trying to pin the thing, but it was a slippery bastard. It was only a minor zap, but he automatically absorbed it, magic still flush in his body, ready to redirect it.

LINA

Goro reeled when Hansel pushed him away and shook the cave with thunder. He stumbled, but grabbed onto the cave wall to stay upright. Then he straightened up, scowling, and pointed at the jellyfish thing. He spoke his prayer, and a bolt of radiant light struck it from above. It flinched from the hit and turned its eye on Goro, changing direction and floating toward him, past Hansel.

IZZY

"Hey," Hansel barked, again like it was gonna fuckin' stop the thing from going towards Goro -- reflex. Just as reflexively, he stabbed out with his trident, able to move more easily now that he was free, and guided by the glow of Goro's magic, shanking the thing and managing to pin it to the cave floor, this time. Another little jolt came up the trident's shaft, and he let it, this time discharging his own little jolt back at it. He figured the thing probably wouldn't be that hurt by its own element, but eh.

LINA

The creature trembled and jerked, tentacles lashing, until it broke free from where Hansel had it pinned. Goro skipped back a couple steps, preparing another Guiding Bolt. Inflicting wounds would be better, but... eh, that thing had pretty fuckin' long arms.

IZZY

Hansel grumbled and faltered when it wrenched itself free from the pin, but doubled down -- managing to stab into it four more times, getting more zaps up into his arm, which was getting to be a real fucking annoyance. He could've muffled it, but he knew he didn't have much magic left in him, and he always felt like he oughta hold onto that last little bit. Was starting to smell a bit ... crispy, though, from the electricity.

He batted at it to get its attention with that last strike, making it look at him with its one big creepy red eye. "Hey!" he snarled again. "Hey, y'little fucker. Look at me. Still got the blood of your li'l babies or whatever the fuck on my trident. Look at me."

LINA

Ah, screw the thing's long arms. Hansel was taking a goddamn beating from it. Goro ran to his side and pulled out the Foxtail, laying his other hand on Hansel's back and using half the wand's charges to heal him.

The creature kept lashing out, all its attention on Hansel now. It whacked him across the face with a tentacle. Gritting his teeth, Goro summoned up his own spectral trident and jabbed it in the back of the head.

IZZY

Hansel growled and shook off some of the pain, putting the rest of his energy into stabbing the fuckin' thing. It was bad off, but it still didn't go down. He took to electricity up his arm, again, still thinking he should probably hold on to that little scrap of magic he had left. Managed to shove the damn thing back down, though, to the cave floor.

"What, that the best you've fucking got?" He didn't even know if it could understand him, but he figured if it was like an animal, it'd at least understand tone and know he was taunting it.

LINA

The creature seemed to hesitate for a second, its eye quivering as it focused on Hansel. Then its gaze roamed over Hansel's shoulder, to Goro. Three tentacles lashed out, reaching around Hansel. Goro dodged out of the way of one, but the other two struck him, wrapping around his waist and dragging him forward.

Goro lurched a few steps, grabbing onto Hansel's arm for leverage as he resisted the creature's pull and struggled to free himself. A sickening jolt of electricity rocked through him, turning his limbs momentarily useless, and he lost his grip.

IZZY

Ah, well, that didn't fuckin' work for Hansel.

He didn't so much see red as focus in. He did the seeing red thing sometimes -- when he got real fuckin' pissed -- more so when he was younger -- but Eli had taught him shit that helped him to keep his cool, divert that anger like an overflowing river shored up with sandbags. Keep it from flooding the crops and just trickle through to water'em, instead, gently send the force of it in another direction. She was good at that shit, Eli -- physically and emotionally too. She'd be proud of him for that, probably.

Three more stabs, one aimed real carefully 'stead of him just getting angry and reckless. Fast and brutal but not sloppy. That was the way. The last one sunk into the thing's soft, squishy eye and burst it, rammed through into -- he supposed -- the brain. Straight on through the back of its skull and down, into the cave floor, pinning it as if it might still get back up.

When his arm was free, he dropped to a kneel and looped that arm around Goro's waist, feeling the last bit of that magic radiate out of him, green and gold, sunlight through a leafy canopy, healing Goro as much as he could before it faded back out, spent. He kept his shield arm up, pocked with bleeding marks from the thing's weird little spines as it was.

LINA

There was a moment where all Goro knew was that he hurt all over, and Hansel was warm and felt good, so Goro clutched at him and nuzzled against his chest.

Wait. Motherfucker was healing him. God damn it.

Goro didn't chew him out right away, though. Just clutched at him harder.

His mind, out of habit, started yammering at him with all his defenses: He'd been fine. He coulda killed that thing. He was a vicious little shit. He'd stab, and kick, and claw, and open festering wounds on it.

(And if it shocked him into unconsciousness first? Well. Oh well. No one would miss him. Old, old thoughts.)

He quieted himself, though. Because his tough, powerful fiance was holding him. Hansel had taken way more hits than Goro, and he was still standing. Still protecting him. And Goro thought -- hell, maybe he deserved this, somehow. Maybe he deserved to be small and weak and be taken care of by someone who loved him.

He blinked up at Hansel dreamily. "You saved me."

IZZY

"Psh," Hansel said, embarrassed at how Goro was looking at him. "Psshh." He kissed Goro's forehead quick, and loosened up on holding him just to make sure he could stand okay on his own. "You good, ahuv?"

LINA

Goro frowned. "No. 'Cause you fuckin' healed me instead of yourself. You took way more hits from that thing, eesh."

Before Hansel could argue, Goro had his wand out again, and he used up a charge healing Hansel's face. Another on Hansel's arm. Not good enough. He frowned more deeply and used the last charge. Put a dent in it, at least.

IZZY

"Pff, I'm fine," Hansel insisted, but didn't exactly fight Goro over it. The pricks in his arms healed up a fair little bit, and the one hit in on his face that the thing'd gotten closed up nicely. His other arm still felt pretty charred from the lightning, and he winced as he flexed it. Gave Goro another quick kiss. "Thanks, love."

Then he glanced around again, glowering, and wrenched his trident out if the thing's corpse.

LINA

Goro leaned up to give Hansel a kiss on his cheek, then crouched beside the corpse of the creature. He poked at it a little, but Hansel had pretty well fuckin' pulverized it, so it wasn't exactly fit for an anatomical examination.

"You ever seen something like this before?"

IZZY

"Sure fuckin' ain't." He scowled down at it. "Tell you fuckin' what, though, it ain't the thing that froze folks, either."

LINA

Goro chewed on the inside of his cheek, thinking. "There's this kinda monster I read about a few times. Comes from the Underdark, called a beholder. You ever hear of that?"

IZZY

He squinted a bit. "Think I mighta read, uh. A novel with somethin' called a beholder in it. Those are fuckin' ... real, though?"

LINA

"Well. I dunno." Goro chewed his bracelet idly, still looking at the dead monster. "That's something seemed like no one could agree on. With some people saying it was just a legend, right, and other people all nah, nah, they're real, I've seen 'em. This doesn't look like all the drawings, exactly. Just kinda sorta. Makes me wonder if people saw these things, and that's where the legend comes from."

IZZY

"Well." Hansel nudged the oozing corpse with his boot. "Beholders ain't shit, then."

LINA

Goro frowned some more, still gnawing on the bracelet. "You're right, though. Ain't what killed those bandits. Or not what froze 'em, at least."

IZZY

"Aye." He glanced around the chamber again, distrustful of the dark. "Dunno about you, though, but after that shit I need a fuckin' rest before we go pickin' any more fights. S'pose we go back and search those dead assholes, see if they got any of the townsfolks' goods on'em?"

LINA

Goro nodded and stayed close to Hansel's side for the walk back up the passageway. He kept glancing over his shoulder, tucking himself closer to Hansel each time. Fuckin' creepy. Who knew how fucking deep these caves went.

Once they were back in the chamber with the bandits the jellyfish-beholder thing had killed, he split off from Hansel to start searching the nearest one. Raking through the pockets he found a couple good handfuls of gold, but no ring. He glanced up to see if Hansel was having any better luck.

IZZY

Hansel rummaged through the pockets of a few bandits disinterestedly -- looting never held much appeal to him, for all he'd been a pirate for so long. He came up with not a hell of a lot but some gold. Might be the townsfolks' gold, and all, but it wasn't any wedding ring. He scowled down at his haul, then looked up to Goro, who didn't seem to've found it either.

Frowning, he suggested, "Could take a breather. Have a break, maybe a snack, head further back in once we got our feet under us a bit."

He didn't like to leave a job half done. If it was just him -- say this was a merc job he'd picked up -- he'd likely just push on through, chug a potion a get it over with. Wasn't just him, though. Had to take care of Goro, and take care of himself so Goro wouldn't be all over taking care of him. Supposed that was how it worked, and all.

LINA

Goro moved on to the next body, acting like he hadn't heard. He wanted to find the fucking ring, damn it. He groaned when he didn't find it on that corpse, either. "I shoulda just waited another day. Prepared a spell to locate it."

Tilly had been so goddamn upset, though.

IZZY

Hansel hmm'd. "Tomorrow, then," he said firmly, straightening and moving over to Goro to kiss his head. "We'll find it tomorrow."

LINA

Goro grumbled. "You try telling Tilly that, though."

IZZY

"A'right. Let's go." He jostled Goro a little playfully, trying to perk him up. "Bet she'll feel better knowin' her magic grandson and his big pirate fiance are on the case."

LINA

"Magic grandson. God." Goro didn't try to fight off the jostling, though. He searched the rest of the bodies, and the ones in that first cavern when they were on their way out, but didn't find the damn ring. Good chunk of gold, though.

As they left the cave, Goro glanced at Hansel uneasily. "Uh. When I said you should tell her yourself..."

IZZY

Hansel made an inquisitive sound.

LINA

"You can just head back to the castle, honestly. I'll meet you there."

IZZY

"Eh? How come?"

LINA

"Uh. Just. Y'know." Goro rubbed the back of his head. "No reason to go outta your way."

IZZY

"Ain't outta my way," Hansel said, puzzled. Wasn't like Goro to wanna split up, really. Hansel didn't want to. He had that brief terrifying thought -- the he doesn't want me around one -- but then a much more fucking reasonable answer came to mind. How Goro was looking all sheepish and shit.

He grinned a bit and squeezed Goro against his side. "Nah, nah. I wanna meet her, now."

LINA

"Pffff." Goro couldn't exactly help wanting to be squished against Hansel, so he didn't fight it (fucking inhumane, honestly, using Goro's weakness against him like that), but he felt himself turn red. "Okay, but listen. She's gonna call me Jeffrey and shit. She's annoying."

IZZY

"Yeah, a'right." Hansel kept grinning at the feeble li'l protest. Yeah, Tilly was annoying. Sure. "Don't worry. Y'know, old ladies are either fuckin' terrified of me 'cause I'm an orc, or they fuckin' love me, 'cause I got manners and I can carry heavy stuff for'em. Long as she ain't the first one, bet we'll get along just great."

LINA

--

Goro led the way into town and to Tilly's front door. The bandits had busted it open earlier, but Goro had already used his mending cantrip to fix the latch. He'd then attempted to explain to the lady how she really needed to pay a locksmith to upgrade it for her so it wouldn't break so easy, but she didn't seem interested.

She opened the door a couple moments after Goro knocked. A small, hunched woman, hardly bigger than Theo, with white hair pulled into a bun and watery eyes clouded from cataracts.

"Oh, Jeffrey," she said. Goro opened his mouth to object, but she'd already turned her head up to appraise Hansel. "You must be Arthur."

IZZY

Hansel bit the inside of his bottom lip hard to keep from grinning. Oh, god. God. She was tiny. And hunched. He could hold her in one hand, he bet. Amazing.

"Aye," he said. "I mean, yes, ma'am."

He elbowed Goro.

LINA

"No," Goro said. "No, Tilly, it's not fuckin' Jeffrey."

"Oh!" At the sound of his voice, and probably his foul mouth, things seemed to click into place for her. "Gregory."

"No, no, not--" Goro smacked a hand over his face.

IZZY

"Grigori," Hansel corrected, fucking helpfully.

LINA

"No. It's fuckin' Goro."

Tilly stepped aside to let them in, saying, "My grandson, Jeffrey, he told me he was going to be bringing home his new orc boyfriend. Is that what you are, young man? Is that a tusk? Where is your other tusk?"

IZZY

"Uh, lost it." Shit, she didn't beat around the bush. Eyesight was good enough for that, but not good enough to see who they were, huh. "Ma'am."

LINA

"Oh, he's very polite, Jeffrey. I like him."

"It's Goro."

"What's that? His name is Goro?"

"No, I'm Goro. Not Jeffrey."

"Oh. Oh! Oh, I apologize, Gregory. You look so much like my grandson. I wonder how he and Arthur are doing. I asked Jeffrey when the two of them were going to settle down, and said I can't wait forever for my great grandchildren to come along. You two, are you getting married?" She directed the question up at Hansel.

IZZY

"Yes, ma'am." Hansel followed her on in, glancing around the place. Figured Goro -- or maybe a neighbor -- had set it to rights after the break-in, but it still looked a bit tousled. He eyed a couple things he could fix. "Uh, any day now, prob'ly."

LINA

"Oh, good." Tilly pawed at Hansel's arm until she got a grip on his sleeve, then started trying to lead him toward her little dining table. "So many young people these days choosing to live together outside of wedlock. It's despicable! What about their children? What will people say? I'm relieved Gregory has found himself a sensible young man."

IZZY

"Uhh." Hansel let himself be led around, shooting Goro a slight grimace. Made him feel all defensive and shit. Maybe the old lady was kinda annoying. Well, she was old. Supposed it was what it was. "Well, y'know. Don't much care what folks've got to say. I just wanna marry him."

He sneakily reached out to offer Goro his hand, like, Hey, c'mere, back me up.

LINA

Goro raised an eyebrow and took it. Tilly clucked her tongue. "My Jeffrey said the same thing when I asked him when he was going to propose to Arthur. I even offered to let him use my own--oh." She fumbled in her apron pocket for a handkerchief and sniffled, dabbing her eyes.

Goro grimaced. "Uh, Tilly, I'm working on it. Yeah? Gonna get it back for you tomorrow. Promise."

Tilly gave a tiny cry of dismay. "Oh, Gregory! I told you I don't want you fighting those horrible bandits by yourself!"

Goro shot Hansel a look.

IZZY

Hansel linked his fingers between Goro's securely. Rankled him somehow. Psh. Like Goro couldn't hold his own against some damn bandits. "Don't worry 'bout it, ma'am. We're goin' together. Keep each other safe."

LINA

Tilly kept dabbing at her eyes. "Oh, good. You know, my Annabeth always kept me safe. She was a very tall woman, very intimidating. Handy with an axe and a broadsword. I miss her every day."

Goro cringed. He hated it when Tilly got to talking about Annabeth. Too fuckin' sad. "Well, we don't got time to stay for tea, Tilly. I just came by to let you know it's gonna be another day before I get you the ring."

"Oh, please be careful, Gregory. You--oh, dear, I didn't learn your fiance's name."

"It's Hansel."

"Hansel, you take good care of Gregory. Such a nice young man. He healed up all my scrapes and bruises. Are you a healer too, Hansel?"

IZZY

"Uh, no, ma'am," he admitted. "More the axe an' broadsword type." The trident type, specifically, which Hansel imagined she oughta be able to see by the big fuckin' fork poking over his shoulder if she could see that he only had the one tusk. Ah well. Still couldn't help adding, "We come back, I'll fix that busted cabinet for you, though."

He nodded to the splinters over her counter. Was a bit more than magic could fix up -- needed good carpentry.

LINA

"Jeffrey, do you hear that? He's going to fix the cabinet!"

"I'm--" Goro rolled his eyes and let out a long-suffering sigh. "Yeah. I know. He's great, ain't he? Anyway, we gotta go."

Tilly shuffled over to him and held her hands up, just like she always did. Ah, fuck. Ah, fuck, Hansel was gonna see this shit. Goro gritted his teeth and submitted to Tilly's hug and kiss on his cheek. Then he crossed his arms and scowled and backed toward the door.

IZZY

Hansel couldn't quite work out if it was fuckin' adorable and hilarious, Goro tolerating Tilly's affection like a grouchy old farm cat who was only just too sweet to smack the shit out of a baby who didn't know yet how to be nice to cats -- or if he was annoyed the old bat didn't get the message and leave Goro be. He kept a pleasant smile on his face and moved after Goro either way.

"Was nice to meet you, ma'am."

LINA

Tilly didn't seem to hear. She'd gone into her kitchen and was putting the kettle on the stove with a shaking hand.

Once they were outside, Goro gave Hansel a see? sort of look.

IZZY

Hansel scoffed and hooked Goro against his side again. "Fuckin' old-timers, eh."

LINA

"Can't believe she's calling me fuckin' Gregory now. Not sure that's any better than Jeffrey. Fuck."

IZZY

"Greggy." Hansel snickered. "Maybe she'll send you a nice Candlenight card."

LINA

"God. Hopefully by then I'll have found the real fucking Jeffrey and she won't be my problem anymore." As they walked, Goro crossed his arms and scowled, turning pink.

IZZY

"Oh, aye? Is findin' the grandson our next job?" Hansel asked, grinning.

LINA

"Damn well better be, yeah. Psh, fucker probably ran off with Arthur or whoever 'cause he was sick of his fuckin' granny hassling him to get married. What about their chiiildren? God. Who even talks like that."

IZZY

Hansel snorted. "People get fuckin' odd about marriage. Ruinin' it for the rest of us," he added, kissing the side of Goro's head.

LINA

"As if anything could ruin marriage for us," Goro said, without really thinking about it. Then he felt sheepish and scoffed, looking down to kick a rock in the road.

IZZY

Hansel grinned and squeezed him. "They can fuckin' try," he said, like it was a challenge. And Hansel was a competitive motherfucker. He didn't lose when he got challenged on shit.

LINA

Goro shook his head and muttered to himself. People did get odd about marriage; though frankly, that included him. Although, there was lots of shit he figured made people good or bad parents, and he didn't think marriage was the kicker, there. Fuckin' Jasmilia had been married, and look at her.

Goro frowned and blinked rapidly a few times. "God. God. You know what I just thought of?"

IZZY

"Eh?"

LINA

"Luka, in his letters, he... asked his mother--my grandmother--" Ah, weird. He wasn't sure it'd ever stop being weird. "He asked her to send his grandma's ring to give to Mia. Jasmilia. When he wanted to marry her." It was a jumbled and incomplete thought, and Goro wanted to fill it in so Hansel would actually know what he was getting at, but suddenly he couldn't. He bit his knuckle instead.

IZZY

Hansel darkened abruptly. "Fuckin' Jasmilia's got your family's ring. Motherfucker." He hadn't thought about that. Son of a bitch. "Goddammit. We'll get it back. S'pose she's got it on her, or it was with her shit in Moorland? Y'know what it looks like at all?"

LINA

Ah. Goro didn't have to fill in. Hansel just knew. Goro took his knuckle out of his mouth and wrapped his arms around Hansel's waist, pressing against him, stepping awkwardly to keep walking while he did it.

"Not a clue. I don't even know how I could find out, without..." He tensed up, and his face twisted. "Asking her."

IZZY

Hansel scowled. "I'll fuckin' ask her," he muttered. "End of my goddamn trident."

LINA

"Hans," Goro chided, but very weakly.

IZZY

"Just sayin'," he grumbled. "S'an option."

LINA

Goro was quiet for a moment. "Would you kill her, if I asked you to?"

IZZY

"Aye."

LINA

"Morgan offered. I said I wasn't sure." He frowned and bit his lip. "It's not that I want her alive, I just... I'm afraid she'd take things with her when she died that I couldn't get from anyone else. Like... well, like knowing which ring is the right one. And my birthday. I asked her that one already, but... well, you get what I mean, right?"

IZZY

Hansel frowned. He'd slowed his pace to keep just idling up the path towards the castle, and he stopped then to wrap both arms around Goro and kiss his head.

"Yeah," he said quietly. Wasn't anyone else Goro could ask shit about Luka. Or about himself. "Maybe ... when we find other Voronins, yeah? Y'dad wrote to his family. Maybe there's more letters, or there's more, y'know, extended family you could talk to." Wasn't the same -- wasn't as close as Jasmilia. He knew that. Hansel supposed he had cousins, aunts and uncles, and -- well, Naomi, yeah -- but it wasn't like being able to talk to Yehuda. He kissed Goro's hair again. "Somethin' to try before havin' to fuckin' talk to Jasmilia."

He thought, sometimes, about how Luka called her Mia in his letters. Wondered if it was a sign of familiarity, like Mishka and Goro calling him Hans. Or if she was fucking pretending to be a different person then, with a different name, who wasn't a fucking scumbag.

LINA

Goro nodded. And he clung to Hansel tighter -- not the best spot for it, here in the middle of the road on the way home, but he didn't care. All he wanted to be doing just then was hugging Hansel.

IZZY

Hansel nuzzled into his hair for a moment, then bent just a bit to scoop him up so they could keep heading for the castle. At least get to the grounds proper.

LINA

Goro snickered. "Taking matters into your own hands, huh?"

IZZY

"S'what I do," Hansel said placidly.

LINA

"Sure you're up for this after fighting that goddamn thing? You took a beating. Nothing compared to the beating you gave it back, but."

IZZY

"Psh, nah. I'm good." He gave Goro a squeeze. "You fixed me up."

LINA

Goro tried not to look too pleased at that--didn't wanna toot his own horn, or whatever. But he grinned and gave Hansel a kiss on the chin.

[end]

TRP: Goro and Hansel (Cave Adventure, Part 1). Day 367. Goro enlists Hansel's help hunting down bandits who robbed Glimmerton. They enter a deep cave system and fight monsters that appear to have come from the Underdark.