Thomas

> "I have a lot of dreams... and most of them are about women. Apart from the one where I have the body of a crab."― Thomas to the other ghosts[src]
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**Thomas Angus Thorne** is the ghost of a Regency era poet. He was a self described enemy of Lord Byron, who he claims to have stolen his work. He is portrayed by Mathew Baynton. He is Scottish.

## Biography

### History

Though not overly successful, Thomas remained a poet who adored his own work. Along with his cousin, Francis Button, he visited Higham House - now Button House - on October 10, 1824, to reveal a new poem he'd penned, however, what he was truly excited for was seeing Lord Higham's daughter, Isabelle, again. Upon their arrival he dismissed Francis' comment about Higham House being a good inheritance, making it clear that his interest in Isabelle was out of love rather then financial gain. He told Francis of his longing to speak with her though couldn't as her father was unaware of the relationship which had developed between them, this gave his Francis the idea to encourage Thomas to write a letter to Isabelle which he promised to deliver to her.

Pleased for a way to speak with her, Thomas did exactly that and went to excitedly recite his new poem — which he was unaware he was being mocked for — only to receive a fraudulent letter back from her claiming she no longer loved him and he must have misinterpreted her words or actions when they last met. This was in fact a fake letter written by Francis as part of his plan to marry Isabelle and inherit the house. Unaware of Francis' intended sabotage, he was devastated and insisted he spoke to her directly. Panicked that his lies would be revealed, Francis made up a story about a military man having insulted Isabelle calling her 'ugly and untalented', when the statement had actually been about Mary Shelley. Outraged by these insinuations, Thomas tried to defend her honor and challenges the officer to a duel which — to his surprise — was accepted.

Having also received a false letter from Francis claiming Thomas didn't love her, Isabelle was unaware of why the duel started and was lead to believe it was because Thomas has fallen in love with Mary Shelly, which only caused her further heartbreak. Outside in the grounds, people gathered to watch the duel, and Francis conducted his final manipulation by telling Thomas it was twenty paces rather than the traditional ten — he accepted this easily and set out counting with his pistol. After reaching ten, the officer turned and actually paused due to confusion that Thomas was still walking, but, after sharing a look with a few others and shrugging, he still decided to shoot Thomas in the lower back; a deathly blow.

Francis rushed to him to play the loving cousin and claimed that the officer cheated, saying he was a "coward"; Thomas was rested against a tree and asked as his dying wish that Francis fetched Isabelle. Francis claimed he would, but only pretended to, and instead went to console her and further his plan to gain Higham House. He left Thomas dying alone which led him to believe he was a "fool".

### Death

Upon his death, Thomas finds the ghosts gathered around him. Though very confused, he is forced to join them and later watch as Francis' and Isabelle's son returns to the house and renames it ‘Button House’.

When Lady Heather Button - a distant cousin - finally dies at the age of ninety-nine, he wonders who would come to call the house home, and, like the others, assumes that the house would probably just be left abandoned.

Soon after when Alison and her husband, Michael "Mike", arrive, he is beguiled and essentially convinces himself he's madly in love with her. When the ghosts determine that getting rid of the Coopers will come down to death Thomas agrees with the plan though not for the same reason as the others, he wants Alison to remain as a ghost so they can be together forever even though they've never spoken a single word to one another. After this plan is dismissed by Fanny, Pat and Kitty he goes along with the mission to haunt them that the Captain organizes. Since he has no ghostly powers, he watches for when Alison leaves the bathroom; this is, however, an excuse to spy on her while in the shower. In Gorilla War Thomas uses Alison's new-found ability to talk to the dead as a way to speak with her himself and try to convince her to commit suicide and therefore be with him, he later asks for the same thing again when Alison confronts him and the other ghosts but she refuses entirely. This however, does not stop him from showing his love for her throughout the show.

When a camera crew comes in to Button House during Free Pass he's initially happy because it's set in the Regency period, and even goes so far as to kick Humphrey’s head through the ceiling, though he soon learns it's about his sworn enemy, Lord Byron, and heads off to sulk - though hopes someone will 'come to coax him back', when they don't, he causes a scene then storms off to try and drown himself in the lake even though he's already dead; the other ghosts and Alison promptly forget about this and don't inform him that 'The Life of Byron' team have left.

Throughout The Grey Lady Thomas finds himself hosting a makeshift radio show with Pat where he plays the interviewee in an attempt to get their voices heard by the ghost hunters and help Alison. Initially he's rather bad at it and speaks in one word answers - much to Pat's annoyance - though later develops an enjoyment for it and starts doing rather detailed commercials. Unfortunately when the ghost hunters check the recording it hasn't picked up their voices at all and their hard work was essentially useless; while Pat congratulates him for trying, Thomas states that the scoutmaster had 'a slightly grating register and a tenancy to gabble' then suggests Pat to work on it.

While drunk, Alison makes several comments at her party during About Last Night which leave Thomas thinking she loves him and he has a chance with her, the last of these was said just before she fell asleep as it had him glide backwards out of the room in glee. Alison is later forced to bring him down gently which upsets the poet but still doesn't deter from showing his love for Alison.

When burglars break into Button House in Bump In The Night, the Captain says somebody needs to alert Alison and Thomas quickly rushes off to do so having called out - in a rather high-pitched tone - 'I'll do it'. Since Alison was out with friends, he spends the rest of the episode complaining about how Mike isn't good enough for her and offers no real help when it comes to getting ride of the thieves. Thomas' only helpful suggestion is when the ghosts realise they can't be heard on the phone to the police, and he reminds them all that Jemima - one of the plague ghosts - can be heard; though Jemima's voice is what gets the police there quickest in the end.

## Appearance

Thomas has dark brown, curly hair, and dark eyes. Like most well-off men from his time, he’s dressed in a white linen shirt with a tall standing collar and puffed sleeves, a decorated waistcoat buttoned high, and a cravat tied in a soft bow. As Thomas arrived at Button House for a formal event and had been on horseback, he is wearing breeches rather than trousers. He has a bullet hole near his stomach, which is a wound from the duel he died in.

## Personality

Thomas is a hopeless romantic through and through, which he often believes to make him more sensitive and understanding than the rest of his fellow ghosts. The downside to this is that he has a tendency to have childish, highly melodramatic outbursts when faced with ridicule from the other ghosts (or dismissal for his overly dramatic poetry), which cause him to sulk and, at one point, go so far as to try and drown himself in the lake despite already being dead. It seems that while alive Thomas had conned himself into believing he was a much beloved poet, an false belief which has remained with him in death. He believes that almost every woman he comes across is the most beautiful he's ever seen even though he will have said that about the last one as well and fell in love with Alison the moment he saw her; this reveals his fickle nature. Thomas also often misinterprets things women say to him — especially Alison — thinking they're confessing their love when really they're simply stating they don't want anything to do with him. This could be partially from wishful thinking, and partially because there are lots of similes and metaphors used in poetry, so he may interpret the words differently because hes a poet.

He is somewhat apologetic, saying sorry when he accidentally shoots a bird out of the sky in his lifetime (while dropping his pistol), and later apologising to Humphrey’s head while using it as a ball.

Thomas is vehemently against plagiarism and is horrified when he accidentally copies lines form a Kylie Minogue song for a poem to Alison, going so far as to insist Alison sends 'correspondence' to her apologising; it is possible he's so against plagiarism due to his claim Lord Byron stole his work.

Both Mary's and Robin's incorrect grammar particularly annoys him as he often corrects them only to start accidentally emulating their mistakes much to his chagrin.

## Quotes

* “Why must I always be spurned!” (Who Do You Think You Are?)
* “Answer the question, damn your eyes!” (Who Do You Think You Are?)
* "Divorce him, kill yourself, marry me!" (Gorilla War)
* "Do you mock me, sir? This is my sighing place!" (Happy Death Day)
* "What is a 'Kylie Min-ogue'?" (Happy Death Day)
* "Give me an egg atop a cutlet any day of the diary!" (Free Pass)
* "Is this meant to be 1820's? Those are Rococo chairs and tables! You can tell by the legs, they're Rococo legs!" (Free Pass)
* “I have a lot of dreams, and most of them are about women. Apart from the one where I have the body of a crab!” (Free Pass)
* "I am going to drown myself in the lake! I mean it!" (Free Pass)
* “Pray tell, how you doin'?” (Moonah Ston)
* "Buy cheese. Please." (The Grey Lady)
* "Damn your eyes I say, damn your head, shoulders, knees and toes, sir!” (The Thomas Thorne Affair)
* "Fuuuuuu...!" (The Thomas Thorne Affair)
* "Merry Kissmas!" (The Ghost of Christmas)
* "Balderdash! I'd thrash you all at Twist-it, then run a mile!" (The Ghost Of Christmas)
* "I must tell Onions... Alison." (A Lot To Take In)
* "I would help, but I physically can't!" (The Woodworm Men)
* "It was really... Nice. Really, really... Nice..." (The Woodworm Men)
* "spaghetti napolitana" (The Woodworm Men)
* "its not fault of the sun if the eye sees not its beauty" (The Woodworm Men)

## Trivia

* When Thomas drops his pistol, he shoots a bird out of the sky and apologises to it.
* He bursts into poetry randomly.
* Thomas has had a strange dream where he has the body of a crab and cannot hold his pen.
* Due to his overly romantic nature he instantly falls in love with Rachel when introduced to the television show 'Friends'.
* Despite his habit of falling in love with every woman he sees, Isabelle Higham did actually love him.
* The false letters Francis sent had Isabelle's name spelt wrong, Thomas assumed this to be because she was in a hurry rather than a rather obvious red flag. He is forced to carry this letter with him as a ghost as it was in his breast pocket when he died.
* He argues that he should be the one to give the speech for Robin's Moonah Ston Ritual when the Captain wants to do it then exhorts him to give his speech some 'light and shade'.
* Thomas claims that the song 'Friday I'm In Love' by The Cure 'speaks' to him. So Alison puts it on for him to dance to most mornings.
* He is related to Fanny via marriage, she married George Button, Thomas' cousin three times removed.
* He plays volleyball with Julian and Pat to settle an argument.
* Thomas constantly makes grammatical errors such as saying 'I' instead of 'me'.
* As shown in the episode "The Thomas Thorne Affair", Thomas appears to be left-handed.

## Sources

1. ↑ Free Pass
2. ↑ The Thomas Thorne Affair
3. ↑ The Thomas Thorne Affair
4. ↑ Redding Weddy
5. ↑ The Thomas Thorne Affair
6. ↑ The Grey Lady
7. ↑ Redding Weddy