Episode 147

"*Let's have a big round of applause and a thumbs up for finally revealing this piece of fucking shit that tried to rape Jenny McDermott! Look at him! Look at the face of this horrible sex-criminal.*"
—TJ Kirk
**Episode 147** is an episode of Drunken Peasants. It features the first appearance of long awaited guest, Armoured Skeptic. The Skeptical Knight ended up being a culmination of every great guest ever + Infinity. He brought the podcast out of the poverty of serfdom and into royalty fit for a Targaryen.

## Highlights

* The first appearance of Armoured Skeptic as a guest.
* KACEYTRON officially announced as future guest.
* Kyle Kulinski and Anthony Fantano will be coming on again in the future.
* The return of gTime Johnny!

## Videos Played

1. Annex Mexico !?!? A PATH TO CITIZENSHIP :)
2. AMAZING ATHEIST & THE DRUNKEN PEASANTS ARE CHICKEN !!! Can't Even Defend Atheism Themselves!
3. What happens to people who don't accept or believe in God when they die?
4. To save yourself from hell
5. Evolution lie refuted and proven wrong.
6. Bill Whittle's TOP 5 Conservative Principles
7. Josh Feuerstein preaches bullshit, fails at life
8. Bringing Consistency To Currency
9. RWW News: Robertson: World About To End
10. Hidden Camera Catches Cop Force a Man to Give Him Money by Threatening to Take His Car
11. Jesus picture removed from Chanute middle school
12. joejinkyvideo - A LIBERAL unloads on me.

## Start of the Show

Once again the chat has unleashed its virus unto youtube for no better reason other than the Peasants punishing us for our past transgressions. The livestream started exactly 1 minute and 42 seconds late because TJ was trying to set up the wires necessary with his microdick and screwed up the internet again. TJ starts out by clarifying that G Man believes that there is no starving *Christian* children. The peasants move on to shill their shirts and their fantasy league, whatever the fuck that is. Ben promises the audience that Snotty will eat a single egg if the audience acts as their slaves. They added a one thousand dollar Patreon pledge for those with no lives and all the money.

Armoured Skeptic is brought on immediately making the show over 9000 times better. TJ attempts to rename His Holiness to SkepticalKnightAdventure. TJ, being established as unadulterated garbage, accuses his Holiness of trying to fuck TJ when he should feel honored to have this man's loins anywhere near him. They go on to discuss reviewing movies and tv shows. The stream then stops like a piece of shit because Armoured Skeptic tried to fuck it.The chat cries for their savior Benpai to help them in this time of blistering agony and unimaginable suffering. The peasants then take a 15 minute break to fix the issues caused by TJ, thus furthering the #BanTJ Movement.

They come back to discuss Jenny McDumbass' recent attack on Ser Skeptic of House Crakehall and her overall scumminess. The Knight of Honor and Dutiful Sources reveals that he is neither an MRA or a feminist and has disdain for identity politics in general. TJ and the Knight of Sexy Office Work both agreed that just because somebody is offended doesn't mean laws or mediums of entertainment should be regulated around that. Armoured Skeptic reveals his face for the first time and is the single sexiest man in the universe next to Scotty Cena of course. They move onto cover their first video which is... ***\*drum roll\****

***TROLL OR NOT A TROLL!*** A fat hipster man in a cowboy hat talks about illegal immigration! He tells us all that nobody in "gov'n'ment" wants to properly address the issue because they're liberal pussies. He says that he thinks we need to annex Mexico because we can take care of it better than they can! TJ agrees that we need to conquer the Mexicants and the Inushits. TJ admits that he's scared of big ass spiders with enlarged thoraxes. The Peasants agree that he is a troll though Armoured Skeptic, who is totally not the Chrigilant Vistian Luigi thinks Bobby Joe is just an idiot.

## Middle of the Show

Next up is the butthurt Chrigilant Vistian Luigi calling out the Drunken Peasants as turkeys for not agreeing to ridiculous terms by the "Doctor" Kent Hovind. Luigi, with the creationist backing of the Fungal Empire, claims that The Sober Nobles are scared to debate The Doctor due to his history of annihilating Skaro and Gallifrey in the Last Great Time War. They go on to belabor the issue of what happened between Hovind's lackey and TJ and why the debate with Denver the Last Dinosaur fell through. They then covered a video of a college girl who explains what happens to people who do not believe in god when they die. She claims that God has been pursuing us all our life like a clingy ex girlfriend with questionable psychological stability. Obviously, if you don't accept God, he doesn't wanna force you into living with him for eternity. So logically they go to a realm of abject misery and horrific cruelty reigns over existence.

The Peasants then cover a man wearing a fedora and a beaded necklace making him look like a culturally appropriating shitlord talk about God over sappy piano music. He is trying to save people from the fires of hell because 'It's real hot down there, man!' TJ reveals to us that our overlord dicktator will all live in terror and disgusting filth if we do not thumbs up the video, proving once again that atheists are turrorist sympathizers. The man claims that this "Is not religion" even though all of the concepts he is drawing upon is influenced from or comes directly from religion. Next up is a creationist video of a guy talking really fast to confuse his audience into agreeing with him from a guy with a Phd in Pokeology (probably from the Prager Inshitute). He exposed that Charlie Darwin just made all this evolution stuff up and didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. He comes up with the brilliant statement: Men are men and apes are apes. This rivals the intellectual genius of his predecessor.

The show got DDOSed again by the Jesuit Order and Ser Skeptalot became loud as Megadeth cranked to 11. Ben fixed the audio as TJ and the Knight of Pussy Conquer, homeland of Roosh V, discuss astronomy. They then move on to AFTER BURNER, who talks about the virtues and principles of conservatism. Such principles would honestly include sexism, homophobia, racism, and disdain for the poor. The man instead talks about the ideals of individualism even though they deny the personal choice of a woman to get an abortion and of the person to take recreational drugs such as pan. The loser onscreen who looks like Bob Saget had sex with Sean Pannity, criticizes the collective ideas of Karl Marx. He also thinks that yelling "GUNS!!!!!" is an intellectual statement of incredible poignancy and relevance in the modern political atmosphere. He also claims that political power "grows out of the barrel of a gun", something which a certain group might agree with.

## End of the Show

Starting to wrap up the show is a Feuerstein-esque portait mode video of Josh giving an evangelical speech in front of a hundred idiots who paid money to see him. He yells at the audience about Satan and "Mickalobe" which is apparently related to NASCAR, aka the redneck Olympics, aka the GOP Debate. We move on to the enlightening gTime Johnny in a suit explaining the recorded history side effect to live for the dead which causes every generation to get more dangerous. Thankfully, we're breaking free and listening to gTime Johnny explaining currency and how we're breaching our integrity. Just like how TJ e-begs more than a crack addict on a New York city street. Dolphins are also the clowns of the sea.

Then the Peasants move onto Rat Pobertson who still isn't dead to all of our disappointment, then again, perhaps he has broken free of recorded history slavery and isn't living for the dead. They then cover a story from my home city of Philadelphia about a cop extorting a driver for a donation. As a Philadelphian I swear this doesn't represent us! I swear! We're cool, bro! E-A-G-L-E-S! EAGLES! Then some school somewhere in some Timbuktu town that's totally inferior to Philadelphia is forced to take down a portrait of Jesus. Ben Ghazi moves on to another video quicker than an pseudosocial-critic switches topics to release mental diarrhea on. It turns out Joe Jones, the guy who believes that the Sandy Hook shooting was a hoax has a gun! What a great idea! He tells a story about how a guy at Subway, who's obviously a piece of shit because he drives a hybrid, critcized him for open carrying in Kentuckyfucky.

## Quotes

* *"Hell... it's real man!"* - Some douchebro

## Trivia

 Episodes

**Guest:** 148 • 150