Lincoln Li-Wilson

*The following article contains spoilers for Season 2. Please listen to the season in its entirety or be warned!*

Template:Character Info-box
**Lincoln "Link" Li-Wilson** is a teenage player character in the *Quest* campaign. He is played by Matt Arnold. Link is the son of Grant Wilson and Marco Li and the grandson of Darryl Wilson. He is an avid soccer fan. His character class is Paladin.

Link was home-schooled by both of his fathers for most of his life but matriculated into San Dimas High School to join the soccer team. He is one year older than the class he entered into.

## Appearance

Link is one year older than everyone else in his grade, and is extremely tall, with "a tall head". Despite being older than his peers, he had a high pitch voice, which he is trying hard not to worry about despite how repeatedly Grant reminds him not to worry about it. This is later rectified in episode 27, "Ei8ht", where his voice drops and he's embarrassed about it.

Due to a desire to "dress for the job you want" combined with none of his other clothes fit him anymore due to his growth spurt, Link mostly wears a soccer uniform complete with cleats and shin guards.

## Equipment and Attributes

### Abilities

* Lay On Hands
* Divine Sense
* Sacred Weapon

### Items

* D.A.D.D.I.E.S. ID Badge
* “Human” Gun
* *How to be a Good Teenage Boy,* a book given to him by his father, Grant Wilson
* The Word-o-nomocon

## Relationships

### Taylor Swift

*(friend, husband)*

Taylor and Lincoln have known each other for a while because their parents are friends. Lincoln and Taylor have a friendly relationship, and are currently married as of Ep 34.

### Normal Oak

*(friend, husband)*

Normal and Lincoln have known each other for a while because their parents are friends. Lincoln and Normal have a friendly relationship, and are currently married as of Ep 34.

### Scary Marlowe

*(friend, wife)*

Lincoln and Scary have a friendly relationship, but frequently argue, and are currently married as of Ep 34.

### Hermie the Unworthy

*(reluctant ally, husband)*

Lincoln doesn't trust Hermie, but puts up with him for Normal, giving Lincoln and Hermie a reluctant alliance, and are currently married as of Ep 34.

## Season 2, Episode 1: Dungeons and D.A.D.D.I.E.S.

At San Dimas High School, Link's fathers drop him off for detention. They try to instill some fatherly advice, warning him about bullies, but Link insists that there aren't any bullies at school. Grant then reminds Link that he'll be back from his trip in a week he exits the car. The varsity soccer team immediately confronts Link and tease him about having detention and not making the varsity team. When his parents roll down their windows to see what's happening, Link retreats into the school.

After 3 hours of detention, Lincoln, Taylor Swift, Normal Oak, and Scary Marlowe are kidnapped from detention by a limo driver who tells them he has permission from their principal.

## Season 2, Episode 2: The Game of Life (Any% WR Speedrun)

Link recognises the runner on the treadmill as a teacher named Mrs. Nurphly whom he met in the library with his father and tries to appeal to her, but she responds that what she's doing is all that matters. However, this doesn't work and she puts Scary, Link, and Taylor into the simulator.

Inside the machine, Link plans to purchase a digital currency called *Fartcoin* at $8 and sells it for $69, but this requires more capital than he was prepared to have. He finds the challenge too stressful and lives out the remainder of his life.

When the Tinkerer tells the teens they can leave, Link refuses to do so without the children. Link casts a healing spell on the Runner, restoring her leg to prove what's been going on. However, the firefighters assume she was less injured then they thought. The Runner then attacks and kills the two firefighters and one paramedic which Link feels responsible for,

## Season 2, Episode 3: The Unbearable Linkness of Peeing

Following the events of the previous episode, Link returns home and speaks to Marco and admits to him what happened. He writes a letter to the local police station but they don't believe him.

Later at school, Link brings his "homework" (a urine sample) to urology class and spills it on the floor. It turns out this was a prank by the soccer team and he earns the nickname "Piss Boy". Lincoln is then sent to detention.

The other teens join him in detention where they receive a call from Mae Hailes telling them they need to be at D.A.D.D.I.E.S.. Lincoln leaves a note for the teacher to tell them he's ditching school along with his friends.

## Rad Facts

* Episode 1: Lincoln Li-Wilson is a home-schooled soccer kid whose voice will drop soon. He is one year older than the other teens because of the class he matriculated into at the local high school in order to join their soccer team.
* Episode 2: Lincoln likes trains.
* Episode 3: His favorite class at his homeschool before he went to high school, his favorite class was PE. Which is Personal Entertainment, which usually was just Lincoln playing soccer by himself.
* Episode 4: He wakes up very early and the first 90 minutes once he wakes up is a no handball time so he can't use his hands for anything. He only uses his feet for everything.
* Episode 5: Every Halloween he dresses up as himself as a great soccer player. His dads dress up every year as his two biggest fans. He's allowed one candy a night until next Halloween.
* Episode 6: A couple years after he was old enough to stay home by himself, which didn't last for long since he got lonely, he joined ballroom dancing classes with his dads on Wednesdays. He wasn't really into ballroom dance. But Lincoln is actually a very good modern dancer. He does a little bit of jazz dance as well.
* Episode 7: He needs white noise to fall asleep. And his white noise (which he edited and learned how to do sound recording to create it himself) is the sound of a ball going into a net and feet on grass. And his alarm is a compilation of all the announcers screaming 'Goal' at his favorite goals in soccer.
* Episode 8: He woke up with a Usual Suspects moment where he realised that Grant's favourite movies were all Sniper themed, and he can predict physics of optics and how far away something is. Therefore, Link is very good at knowing the wind and how it'll affect his long kicks in football.
* Episode 9: His birthday is March 3, and he celebrates every year at Outback Steakhouse
* Episode 10: Lincoln does not believe in God.
* Episode 11: Lincoln and Grant are not allowed to play bridge with Marco anymore, since the two of them become absolute monsters when they play.
* Episode 12: Lincoln's favorite smell is that of a fresh-cut lawn. He associates it with both family and soccer.
* Episode 13: Lincoln's favorite taste is steamed brussels sprouts. He brings them to school for lunch and is constipated all the time.
* Episode 14: Lincoln's favorite sound is the silence that follows his fathers shutting the door and leaving him alone for a bit. It relaxes him, especially since he finally has a moment to himself.
* Episode 15: Lincoln's favorite feeling is the space under his bed. He goes under there. It isn't dusty. It is very cool.
* Episode 16: Lincoln's two favorite things to see are his dads hugging and the surface tension of water. (Link might be a serial killer.) Though he does not know about laminar flow, the thought of it would make him go nuts.
* Episode 17: Lincoln's favorite pizza is whatever pizza he gets after a soccer game. It doesn't matter what type, because he picks off all the toppings.
* Episode 18: Lincoln's favorite place to go on vacation is Tent City, a collection of tents that he and his dads set up in their back yard.
* Episode 19: If being a soccer player doesn't work out, Lincoln wants to be a scientist. Specifically, he wants to make pee into water.
* Episode 20: Lincoln is named after Marco's favorite character on TV, which is Andrew Lincoln from The Walking Dead.
* Episode 21: Lincoln's favorite sushi is a vegetable roll.
* Episode 22: Lincoln hates cats because Grant and Marco got a cat when he was four. He was so upset that this other creature got attention that they got rid of the cat.
* Episode 23: Lincoln's entire relationship with Darryl is predicated on the fact that they both think it's really funny that football means football and soccer.
* Episode 24: All of Lincoln's knowledge of other countries comes from who has participated in the World Cup, so he knows exactly 80 countries.
* Episode 25: Lincoln has the same year's resolution every year, which is that this year he will not get sick. He gets sick every January.
* Episode 26: Lincoln's parents had to install grab bars in the shower because he kept falling down because he was practicing his kicks.
* Episode 27: Lincoln's favorite animal is a caterpillar.
* Episode 28: Lincoln makes his own Gatorade.
* Episode 29: Link had a best friend until he was 8 years old. His name was Mr. Kicks, who was his Create-A-Character on his FIFA game. The character would transfer from save file to save file as the years went on. When Link got a new console, however, it wasn't backwards compatible and Mr. Kicks' save file got lost.
* Episode 30: Lincoln's favorite meal of the day is brunch.
* Episode 31: Lincoln doesn't like Charleston Chews; his favorite snack is chocolate-covered espresso beans.
* Episode 32: Marco and Grant had to put bells on Lincoln's bedroom door because he would get up in the middle of the night to sleep on the grass.
* Episode 33: Lincoln's favorite movie is Garfield: The Movie. This is because in an effort to get Lincoln to read, his dads tried to entice him using movies based around books. This did not work, Lincoln won't even read the Garfield comics.
* Episode 34: Lincoln's back-up plan for if he doesn't become a premiere league soccer player is being a premiere league soccer coach.
* Episode 35: Link has actually been married; during his Speedrun. His partner, Kris, had told him during couple's counseling to never remarry if anything happened to them.
* Episode 36: Lincoln wears contacts.
* Episode 37: Lincoln only played soccer in the backyard. They tried to do an AYS team, Lincoln only played one game and both his dads got red cards and kicked out.

## Trivia

* Contrary to popular fan speculation, Lincoln did not receive his name after the dog his father, Grant Wilson, lost as a child; instead, both the dog and the character are named after Abraham Lincoln, one of Matt Arnold's favorite presidents, just as Grant is named after Ulysses S. Grant. In canon, Marco named Lincoln after his favorite Walking Dead actor Andrew Lincoln.
* Lincoln's voice drops in episode 26.
* It is revealed in episode 27 that Lincoln was baptized in Gatorade.