Episode 8: Jon Daly

"Episode 8: Jon Daly" is the eight episode of the Ronna & Beverly podcast. Hosted by Ronna Glickman and Beverly Ginsberg, the guest is Jon Daly.

## Intro Song

Beverly sings to the tune of [title of song?]. She sings the lyrics "Podcast... All I want is podcast..." before stopping because she has laryngitis.

## Animated Inanimate Object

Beverly reveals that if Jon Daly were an animated inanimate object, he'd be a drinking straw. It doesn't have a barbershop swirl. It's a straight stripe, like the Dunkin' Donuts straws that are orange with the pink. It's not a Krazy straw. It's like a McDonald's straw, a fat one with the red and the yellow. It doesn't bend at the top. It's a straight straw, no bend. Beverly reiterates it'd be like a McDonald's straw with the red and yellow stripe, but it'd be white plastic.

## Ronna & Beverly's World

Beverly has laryngitis. She says she has congestion in her throat. Ronna and Beverly have a brief discussion about why the expression is "frog in your throat." Beverly says it's because there's actually a frog stuck in your throat. Ronna says it's because the voice sounds like croaking.

They say they know the Barbaras are listening -- Barbara Eschelbach, Barbara Sidman, Barbara Leventhal, Barbara Levine, the Judys, the Carols. Ronna says Barbara Eschelbach has been cooking and listening at the same time, using the air thing that lets you play your iTunes through the whole house.

Ronna says they thought they would be doing the Oneg Shabbat at the synagogue Temple Shirat Hayam. Beverly describes Oneg Shabbat is like a little kiddish right after Shabbat service at the temple. They have it in the function room. They do a khale, a little this, a little that. It's sweets and you do a little talk. And we were going to host it talking about our book and everyone was excited, not just because of the book, to hear the talk. When we do it, Ronna explains, we bring better food than they normally supply. Beverly likes that Ronna lets her do a theme. This was going to be an Under the Sea theme -- fish-shaped cookies, fish-shaped bars, fish-shaped cupcakes, everything blue. A little blue food coloring in everything. Blue challah. Doesn't that sound delicious?

Ronna says they had been planning this for some time but had to call it off because Beverly was sick. Beverly says she has a summer cold. Ronna explains that it hasn't stopped her from playing tennis this week. (Beverly says she thought she could sweat it out.) Ronna says it didn't stop Beverly from going in the ocean, going out and getting cold. Beverly hit the sales, she went into Macy's Home. (Beverly says she got one end table and one wicker ottoman to replace her old wicker ottoman. She talks for a while about how much she loves the word wicker. Ronna mentions that she has gorgeous wicker furniture in her sunroom.) Ronna says it was a pretty active week for someone that has a cold.

Ronna says it was disappointing to her and the congregants that Oneg Shabbat had to be cancelled. Beverly says you get a summer cold, and you can barely do anything, barely get out. Your voice is shot. Beverly says it's amazing how her summer cold is all in her throat. It's lucky that it's pinpointed.

Ronna says she happened to have dinner last night with Barbara Sidman. Ronna reports that Beverly said that they all went out last week for Judy Perlow's birthday, which is a big deal because Judy is an agoraphobe and doesn't like to leave the house. Beverly asks whether Ronna is upset because they didn't invite her. Ronna says the last thing she wants to do is go to Judy Perlow's birthday. But Beverly never told her anything about it, and this was pre-arrival of her cold. Ronna asks what actually happened, why did they have to cancel the Oneg. She says Barbara seemed to have a very different idea than Beverly does about her summer cold.

Beverly says she's not sure what Ronna is implying but if Ronna is implying that she did anything irresponsible that evening that may have or may not have resulted in her affliction or cold-acquiring... Before Beverly can finish, Ronna says that Judy told her that six of them went to Kowloon. They were doing a karaoke room in the back (Ronna and Beverly disagree about how to pronounce karaoke). Ronna says they told her Beverly was hogging the microphone in the karaoke room, doing Barbra for hours on end. There were scorpion bowls and mai tais. And the next day you called and told me you had a summer cold. Beverly says that anyone who would tell Ronna that Beverly would dare to attempt to walk in the footsteps of Barbra is a bold-faced liar. Beverly says her songs were an eclectic mix of Dolly Parton, Shania Twain, and a couple of classic numbers that are supposed to be sung primarily by men (she finds them upbeat), like Neil Sedaka's "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do." She acquired a summer cold after karaoke.

Ronna is dubious, asking whether Beverly thinks the cold came on at the same time as the karaoke totally coincidentally, because she turned the AC up too high. Beverly confesses that while she did go out for karaoke, when she woke up the next morning, her voice was 100%. As it turns out, Beverly explains, there was an incident the day after the karaoke that may or may not have had something to do with the onset of this very specifically-located summer cold in her throat. She asks Ronna whether Ronna has ever bought the Whole Foods brand of Apple cider and she asks Ronna's satisfaction with it. Ronna says she's been 100% satisfied by it. She buys it in the Fall because apples are better in the Fall.

Beverly says she had purchased an apple cider. Who buys it in the middle of August?, Ronna asks. Beverly replies that they had it stocked. So she bought it and drank half of it one morning because she couldn't quench her thirst. Three or four days later was the karaoke party and the next day she woke up with a dry throat and wanted to quench her thirst. She took a sip and thought it was hemlock and sulphuric acid mixed together. She spit it out but might have swallowed some. (Ronna points out that Beverly had bought it six or seven days earlier, and it was no longer good.) Beverly says she put her clothes on, didn't shower, pulled clothes on over her pajamas, drove to Whole Foods, got the manager and said "You try this." (She had taken the bottle with her.) He said no because a lot had been drunk already. Beverly told him that the due date was two days from then and insisted he taste it. They proceeded to get into a disagreement, and Beverly raised her voice substantially. Beverly says that she knows how to control her voice when she's singing (breathing through the diaphragm). However, in this encounter, she was not aware of her faculties and yelled for quite a long time. She wanted her money back, he didn't want to give it to her, plus she wanted money for the gas to drive to Whole Foods. Ronna points out that it's a quarter of a mile from her house to Whole Foods, and Beverly replies that she wouldn't have had to pay for that gas if the apple cider didn't try to kill her. Beverly says that she may or may not have blown out her vocal cords in that particular exchange. Ronna and her friends shouldn't say it's because of karaoke mishap because Beverly was very responsible that night.

Ronna summarizes that the entire congregation suffered because Beverly drank 3/4 of a bottle of apple cider that she opened that therefore turned because it's a natural product. And then Beverly brought it back after she drank 3/4 of the bottle and they didn't want to give Beverly her $4 back or however much it was. (Beverly says it was close to $5.) Beverly asks whose side Ronna is on. Beverly says it's not her fault. She doesn't write the due dates on bottles. Ronna asks how long she left it on the counter. Beverly says she left it out for a while. It's apple cider. It's already fermented. How is it supposed to get worse? Ronna explains that it continues to ferment. Beverly says it's not her fault they haven't fixed that problem. Beverly says she's sorry she doesn't refrigerate all her perishable items. She lives in a civilized society.

Theme music plays as they transition to the interview with Jon Daly.

Ronna tells Jon Daly that she's familiar with his work because her son Jordan, Tisch School for the Arts, sends her clips of this and that. He tells her to check out these clips he sends. It keeps her hip. He's 19, a filmmaker, very talented.

Later in the conversation, Jon Daly is talking about not complaining when women put things in his butt. Beverly says she understands. Her first husband Allen Ginsberg, not the one you're thinking of, they did tush play. He would do it to Beverly. She wouldn't do it to him. Beverly says that's not the only thing that happened between Beverly and Allen. Beverly asks Jon Daly whether he's ever heard of a dog in the bathtub. When Daly asks whether it's a poop thing, Ronna and Beverly are disgusted. Beverly says your vagina is the bathtub, the dog is his testicles. It's very hard to complete that act because you can't put a soft thing in a hard hole.

Later in the interview, Jon Daly says they're both beautiful. Beverly says she hasn't worked out in 18 years except for a walk around the block with her dog. She says she's naturally thin and soft. Ronna says she swims every day. She goes to the JCC every day. She does 200 laps. She wears a bathing cap. (She can't afford to get her hair recolored every 5 minutes.) Beverly says she calls Ronna her bluefin tuna friend.

When Jon Daly asks whether their children did plays at the JCC, they answer they did them at the synagogue. Beverly says her daughter Rachelle ruined a play once. Ronna says Jordan was the pharaoh. He was Moses one year and the pharaoh the other. They did Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Jordan played the brother, not Joseph. They comically try to guess the name.

After revealing Jon Daly's animated inanimate object (see above), he asks whether he'd be animated like in a Pixar movie. Beverly says no, like a cartoon. Ronna says she knows exactly what Beverly has in mind, even though they've never discussed it. Ronna predicts that Beverly means the animation is the kind of cartoon they see in *Grease* when they go to the drive-in. Beverly says yes, like the hot dog, with the eyes and the feet and the eyebrows that are not connected.

In a political discussion about Mitt Romney and Michele Bachmann, Beverly says that they're both pro-Israel. That's what she bases her votes on. When Jon Daly presses her about who she voted for, she confesses she voted for Obama because of Sarah Palin. When he asks what they think of Hillary, Beverly says Hillary should be president of the world. Ronna says Hillary's fabulous. She's terrific.

As they're saying their goodbyes at the end of the conversation, Beverly says Jon Daly is cute. Jon Daly says they're cute. Ronna says she's more of a classic beauty but she appreciates the compliment. Beverly says she's always been the cute one. Out of Laverne and Shirley, Beverly says she's Shirley.

Jon Daly asks them to lunch as they're wrapping up. Ronna says none of their other guests have asked them to lunch. They talk about where to go. They say they should go to Red Rock Bistro. Ronna says they could go to Anthony's for lunch. Beverly says she can't go to Red Rock Bistro without going to Lime Rickey's for homemade ice cream. Ronna says they should go to Kell's Kreme because Kell's Kreme has Richardson's now. She says they'll go to Red Rock and then they'll go get a Richardson's. (At one point in this discussion, Daly says they can just get in the car and figure it out. Ronna and Beverly says they need a plan first. Beverly says she has to pick which bag to bring.)

Theme music plays as the interview ends.

Beverly says that the interview made her think about partnerships and how they function. She says that she realizes irregardless of how this frog in her throat jumped in there, they still had to cancel, and that part was her fault and she apologizes. She already has a call into Rabbi Baruch HaLevi. She says they all know (wink wink wink wink wink) that the rabbi prefers to deal with Beverly in matters of planning as opposed to Ronna. Beverly's sure she can get another Oneg on the books. He always calls her back or he tweets her.

Ronna asks what Beverly means about the rabbi preferring Beverly. Beverly replies that he thinks she's fun. Ronna says that Beverly is fun but she's a pain in the ass. Beverly replies that at least she doesn't have a stick up where the pain is. Ronna is astonished and asks whether Beverly is saying that the rabbi of their congregation where she is a very generous donor (he knows that, Beverly interjects) has intimated to Beverly that Ronna has a stick up her ass. Beverly tells her not to put quotes around that, and she doesn't really know what 'intimating' means. She said the rabbi was more implying it. It wasn't a stick either. It's like a [word that sounds like ‘yud’?]. Ronna parrots her, a [word that sounds like ‘yud’?] up her ass? Not UP it, Beverly replies, although tush play is not out of the realm of Beverly's understanding. She mentions that Ronna looks a little upset and says Ronna shouldn't take it like that. All she's saying is that she and the rabbi have had a laugh or two at Ronna’s expense... a chuckle, no more than a chuckle.

When Ronna doesn't respond, Beverly says that she'll email the rabbi, keep it very professional, she'll cc: Ronna. Beverly babbles on as Ronna remains very silent. Eventually Beverly says she’s going to go. Ronna says that while Beverly goes, she’s going to go figure out where she’s having the high holidays because it’s not going to be at Shirat Hayam. Beverly says she's overreacting. Ronna says she's glad to hear that everyone they know thinks she has a stick up her ass. Beverly says she never said that. Well, she didn't say it out loud. She said it in her brain. Ronna says that for her closest friend in the world to say something so hurtful to her, it must be that it’s true. It must be that everyone in the community knew this and she didn’t. Otherwise why would Beverly say it? Beverly replies that the rabbi pointed it out to other people. Just because Beverly is a person who pointed towards that image doesn't mean she should be blamed. She's innocent. She's declaring her innocence, pleading her innocence. Ronna tells Beverly she should go home. Beverly says she'll call her later. Ronna says "Or not."

They thank their schlep Michael Constantini, who has his own podcast, Second Column. They thank the guys who did the music, John Ross Bowie and Noah Lebenzon.