recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Episode 390

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Episode description

Pete’s wife gets an indecent proposal, Sebastian joins a drum circle, and both guys consider religion for their children.

## Topics discussed

* The guys discuss some changes with the iHeart move including the parking attendant, getting video up on YouTube, and getting Pete’s photo on the show listing on iTunes.
* Coronavirus is gaining popularity and the guys discuss at what point they will start to be worried.
* Sebastian throws a pizza party at the house and it turns into a full blow carnival.
* A guy asks Jackie if she wants to run with him.
* Sebastian takes Caruso to music class amongst a group of all moms.

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: “If I had a blunt object, it would have been in his throat. This guy’s gotta go.”
* Sebastian: “I think you go, ‘Did you ask my wife to run?’” Pete: “Well then I’m gonna have to get my pinky ring out to make sure I’m twisting that as I say those words. You’re not on the set of the Irishman anymore.”
* Music class lady: “What else did you do today?” Sebastian: “And I’m like, this is it. The kid’s 8 months, he’s been in bed all day, what do you think I took him to the ball game?” Pete: “This is just the start, we’re getting steaks later on. What the fuck lady? He’s doesn’t even know we’re doing this.”
* Pete: “I would rather watch a bird dying in the road than a (random person’s) baptism.”

## Tags

Valet, parking attendant, video, YouTube, iTunes, coronavirus, masks, flight, pilot, China, vaccine, pizza, inflatable slide, Bill Burr, gym, workout, run, mafia, mob, Robert DiNiro, script, Rappaport, bongo drums, father son day, church, religion, baptism, Newman bar, NASCAR, racing, JJ Watt, wedding, vows
Leinster Citadel

Type
 Location

The Leinster Citadel is the central hub for maesters who work in or reside in the county of Leinster.

As with all maesters, those at this Citadel have sworn off personal relations and the ability to hold any kind of landed titles. Their purpose is to heal the wounded, serve as advisers, and to provide means of communication through the realm using ravens.

The Leinster Citadel provides a ruler, or notable organization, with a maester if they have the coin to pay for him. Their salary runs cheap since they do not need to pay for land to survive and thus have no need for gold, and a large portion of their salaries return to the Citadel for fees. In return the Citadel is able to train new maesters, and will send out needed medical supplies in times of trouble.

The Leinster Citadel is considered to have the largest library in the county, and additionally is considered the largest center of learning offering numerous public classes for the betterment of humanity.
Episode 399

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Episode description

Sebastian investigates a possible break-in and Pete gets stranded on a hike.

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian is hearing some Daytona Speedway-esc noise during quarantine nights.
* Sebastian’s grocery store line dilemma: Would you take $10 to pay for someone’s $5 empty drink so they can bounce out of line?
* An intruder is attempting to enter the Maniscalco home through the chimney, with the guys hashing out a game plan to protect the home.
* What is the tipping etiquette during Coronavirus?
* Pete taps out on a hike with the family with nothing to do except hit pebbles with his walking stick.
* Pete gives an update on his upcoming hip surgery.
* Tears are shed after this year’s April Fools joke from Pete.

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: “If you grab a cart at CVS, I’m sorry, white trash.”
* Pete: “Holy shit, you’ve got your own little nature show at 1:00 AM.”
* Pete: “If anything, I’d put a grate down by the bottom of your chimney so if you and Lana are in the living room, at least if a coyote does come down, you just got a caged coyote. Bro, you’re the new Tiger King!”
* Pete: “...I started reaching around me digging my fingers into the ground pulling out little pebbles, until I had a little pile of them. While I’m sitting on my ass, I toss them in the air and try to hit them with the stick.” Sebastian: “Oh is that boring.” Pete: “That’s a fucking Saturday night for an Indian!”

## Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, pandemic, breakdown, racing, neighborhood noise, grocery store, line skipping, intruder, animal, chimney, tipping, hike, hiking, hip surgery, April Fools
Episode 171

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Sebastian is getting stressed out, despite his penis injury, Pete reads us the Mike Tyson Book, and a new bit from DJ Lou in this hilarious new episode!

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian returns to his home construction to underwhelming progress
* Pete tells a story about John Asher meeting Burt Bacharach on an airplane, multiple duets ensue
* Etiquette discussion for approaching a friend with chronic bad breath
* Pete injures the tip of his penis
* Pete responds to a (very) long-distance tech support solicitation
* Sebastian did the Marilu Henner show
* DJ Lou presents "Sebastian teaches us about italian aggression"

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: "They already bought a Samsung T.V. and a brand new Honda"
* Pete: "Anyone playing with a bungie, just remember, be really careful. It could be an eye or it could be the tip of your penis."
* Pete: "Do you feel this might be, because there's no water?"
Episode 210

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Sebastian has an interesting ritual before love making and Pete came up with another "Italian Take" segment!

## Topics discussed

* Pete wants to go to the Kentucky Derby
* A discussion of whether one would have the wanderlust if raised on a farm
* Sebastian would like Trump to be more specific, DJ Lou queues an appropriate routine from Pete’s “Give it a Rest” CD
* Pete is auditioning alternates for when Sebastian is too busy with his NBC show
* Sebastian’s family is having to sign release forms, despite the fact that their characters are only based on them.
* A show-within-a-show where Jimmy channels the interaction between Pete and Marc Maron listening to Aerosmith on vinyl together
* Sebastian opens for One Republic in Las Vegas
* Pete’s opening for Brian Regan, a discussion of his routine and preshow ritual of peach schnapps shots
* The guys discuss their preparations for fooling around
* Sebastian is home alone for the first time in a while, the guys talk about what they do when home alone
* Sebastian is coming to NYC to have dinner with Tony Danza at Patsy’s
* The guys defend “Italian Take” after being challenged on “Driving Miss Jenny” and do an Italian Take with actual Italian news: Eating pigeon, Verona restricts non-italian eateries, jailbreak via bedsheets (and subsequent prison discussion), Sting’s wine and Sebastian’s vineyard aspirations.
* Sebastian debates whether to vacation in Australia or Italy, largely based on the strength of the cuisine.
* Pete’s “property brothers” parody gets Sebastian’s attention, as well as any twins that dress alike into adulthood
* Shuli gives Sebastian’s sister the red carpet treatment for a Howard Stern studio tour

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: "What am I doing here with this bland bitch?"
* Sebastian: "When you put it that way, fuck the horses!"
* Pete: "He said, I tell you this, if Trump becomes the next president, I’m leaving the country! It took everything in me to not lean over and go, I KNOW!
* Pete: "I’ve heard him say, I’m going to hire the best people for that, and they’re going to tell me what we should do. Isn’t that the best answer?" Sebastian: "I’m sorry, I think that was the biggest yawn I’ve ever done on the cast."
* Jimmy from Boston: "Great song, don’t get me wrong. But those 2 serenading each other? Bouncy as hell!"
* Sebastian: "I take a wet wipe to my ass, and give it a nice clean swipe."
* Pete: "If you go to the grand canyon and you lean over the edge, you don’t want it to smell! No one’s saying you’re jumpin’ down there!"
* Pete: "You got the whole house to yourself, you’re goin’ for a book about a guy who played tennis!?"
* Pete: "That’s what a man does, you rub the side of your house."
Episode 400

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Episode description

Sebastian discovers uses for his power washer and Pete writes a corona version of his Man-ario’s!

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian isn’t digging some of the Corona criticism of his alleged face touching.
* Latest addition to the Maniscalco home: Gas-powered pressure washer.
* Sebastian is in EMT mode with Caruso, and Pete comforts Sadie who is concerned about catching the ‘rona.
* A grammar lesson from the fellas cut up by DJ Hank!
* Pete has slapped together 5 Coronarios:
	+ You learn you have the ‘rona, and you have a choice of one of two people to be sitting in at the foot of your bed doing what they can to help: Dr. Fauci or the Pope?
	+ Your neighbor borrows something big and it turns out he contracted the ‘rona, do you go and get the power washer back now, after the virus, and if it takes him down do you just let him have it?
	+ You go to check into a beautiful new hotel, front desk clerk says it was used as a hospital for the Coronavirus. Do you stay or go right out?
	+ You give somebody a ride home and find out the next day the passenger had the ‘rona. Do you sell the vehicle and if you do, do you tell the next owner of the ‘rona?
	+ You die and there’s a backlog with some morgues. They ask your family if they should keep you on ice until July for a bells-and-whistles funeral, or we drop him into a pine box and do a quick 5 minute ceremony over Zoom. Which would you want?
* Sebastian is joining Alex Rodriguez on an Instagram live session, the guys discuss potential questions to ask A-Rod.
* Upcoming cast is planned to be a “drinking cast.”

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: “9 times out of 10 my comeback is so crippling that I go to myself ‘There’s no way I could say that, the guy would jump off a bridge.’”
* Pete: “How embarrassing would it be to say you lost your arm from a stream of water.”
* Sebastian: “Give him the tits!” Pete: “Hey man, that’s better than a ventilator.”
* Pete: “Anything you borrow from somebody, if you get the virus while you’re borrowing it, it is yours - congratulations.”
* Sebastian: “It seems like the virus has a brain.” Corona: “Oh yeah, you think you’re gonna wipe me off handles? I’m gonna live in your shit now.” Pete: “Yeah it does have a brain, it was smart enough to get the fuck out of Wuhan and come to New York City.”

## Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, pandemic, pressure washer, comeback, borrow, neighbor, grammar, manarios, Fauci, A-Rod, J.Lo, NYC, New York, China, Wuhan, Zoom
Cliff Cory

Class
 Status
 Assistant
 Height
 Weight
 Base of Operations

Cliff Cory is the current elected mayor in the town of Laign. His ancestors settled the town of Laign and have been prominent there ever since. His first name is the same as his father's, and his father's before him, back until the original Cliff Cory, 4 generations prior who was the direct founder, and first mayor of Laign.

Officially Cliff's name is Elective Mayor Cliff Cory IV of Laign, and in all documents he is referred to this as such.

Cliff is regarded as a just and trustworthy mayor. His people are generally fond of him, and are impressed with his exploits such as slaying an ice-dragon.
Episode 180

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Sebastian is at Just for Laughs Comedy Festival in Canada while Pete is in the states. They talk about comedy. It's hilarious as usual.

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian is underwhelmed with Montreal and it's architecture
* Pete is loving fatherhood
* Sebastian & Lana are on their third hotel in four days
* Sebastian ponders possible hobbies after discussing helicopters with Bill Burr
* There's an injury on the site of Pete's porch construction project
* "Enough is Enough" remix by DJ Lou
* Pete does not care about the plight of the feature act
* Sebastian talks about his experiences opening for classic black musical acts
* Pete recalls opening for Frankie Valli, a class act
* Sebastian auditions for the part of Frank Dipascali in the Deniro-starring "Wizard of Lies", the Bernie Madoff story.

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: "I feel like the city [Montreal] has stopped moving forward, maybe since 1976."
* Sebastian: "If you dropped me in here blindfolded, I would say I'm in Detroit."
* Pete: "I already escorted my daughter out twice, the whole show's tainted."
* Sebastian: "I never went to Anita Baker's dressing room, knocked on the door and said 'ya got any turkey?'"
First Ranger

A First Ranger is a title given to the highest ranking member of a forces scouting party, or extra-territorial policing force. He may have a garrison of any size, including being alone.

The holder of the title is typically given the rank of commander in war and is entitled to supply and lead his own levies or retinues.

Out-of-war responsibilities typically involve scouting, and defending a forces interests outside of their territories, such as destroying bandit parties, or other threats to a town's caravans, or even catching escaped criminals and convicts.

## In Laign

In the town of Laign, the First Ranger is considered to be a member of the Town Guard although he is outside of the chain of command. He has the ability to employ other rangers from among the ranks of the guard at the Head's permission, although currently the First Ranger operates alone.

In times of war, the First Ranger is third in overall command of the town's forces being just behind the mayor and the Head of the Guard. During this period he retains this title, and is typically used for scouting parties, although it is not unheard of for the First Ranger to lead war parties.

The current First Ranger of Laign is Charles Cory.
Episode 179

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Sebastian goes through a detox and picks the brain of a TSA worker, and Pete has stories about a bodybuilder lifting him and El Chapo!

## Topics discussed

* Debating the merits of post-award show In-N-Out burgers
* Sebastian's 24 hour juice cleanse has him feeling like "Bradley Cooper in Limitless"
* Potty humor

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: "I don't care if it rains only on your tent."
Episode 230

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Pete & Sebastian cover these topics: Snobs in the Hamptons, Olympic events, and "when is it okay to take your shirt off?" Plus so many more funny stories!

## Topics discussed

* Pete’s day job grind is getting to him
* Sebastian re-tells his parking cone story from last cast
* Sebastian’s mail theft problems result in JJ Watt sending 3 pairs of shoes to the Maniscalco manse.
* Show within a show: this week in blubbering!
* Sebastian meets Christie Brinkley in person, causing him to question unevenly attractive couples.
* Pete is enjoying the hiking in Long Island, despite being outpaced by his wife.

## Quotes from the episode

* The snobbery is on another level!
* There were some dogs there that had more class than me!
* They look at you like, oh, what? You wanna eat here?
* I walk back to the hostess stand. She looks at me and goes, "1?”
* He’s hunting greatness, and I’m asking for a third pair of shoes. I’m asking for a first pair!
* Hold your breath, breathe through your mouth, keep your eyes closed, it will only last a little while.
* What I gotta do to earn the money is physically bed this man.
* We didn’t tell them there was 21 hilarious minutes that we couldn’t air up front.
* What are you? In the Alps, man? I can see a 7/11 from the top of the mountain!
* Maybe they’re looking at us and going: No umbrella? When it’s sunny out?!
* With all the waxin’ you do and that apple stem between your legs, everybody would have probably assumed you were wearing a pair of flesh-toned skinny jeans!
Test Page

* Floor 1: 10 prizes - 50 gold
* Floor 2: 9 prizes - 100 gold
* Floor 3: 8 prizes - 150 gold
* Floor 4: 7 prizes - 200 gold
* Floor 5: 6 prizes - 400 gold
* Floor 6: 5 prizes - 600 gold
* Floor 7: 4 prizes - 800 gold
* Floor 8: 3 prizes - 1200 gold
* Floor 9: 1 prize - 3000 gold

**Treasure Pagoda**
* Floor 1
* Floor 2
* Floor 3
* Floor 4
* Floor 5
* Floor 6
* Floor 7
* Floor 8
* Floor 9

**An example table**
 lower left
 Text before a nested table...

*A table in a table*

...text after a nested table

...text after centered table

 C
 E
 H

* Sky Wing Azure Dragon
* Magpie
* Holy Light Tiger
* The Son Of Demons
* Sky Flame Rosefinch
* Christmas Deer
* Nether Tortoise
Lifedrinker Sword

Effects
 Source

The Lifedrinker Sword was a weapon hoarded by the dragon of Kobold Hall. It has necromancy flavor, and as such, it heals the user anytime they defeat an opponent.

When the Laign Adventurers Guild defeated the dragon of Kobold Hall, they looted his hoard and came out with the fine weapon.

Dances with Wolves took ownership of the weapon, and wields it in one hand despite it being a long sword.
Episode 247

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Sebastian deals with raccoons, a thief, and a car crash. Pete has to endure a millennial on the plane, a gay pass in traffic, and North Korea.

## Quotes from the episode

* The guy is crying cause he woke up itchy! Get your shit together ya maniac!
* If you yell at me you’re also yelling at the baby!
* Another one walked by…as if to say, I still run this.
* Ray Ban? That’s a gay man’s kryptonite.
* Just beat it! Just beat it!
* 2 people in the back, their TV doesn’t work. “Tough.” She told the flight attendant, “Tough!”
* You guys are starting to look alike. Would you wanna hear something like that? Just in case Sirius thought we might skew to a younger audience? Hey! It’s Pete & Sebastian and we look like our wives!
* They put me in a Hugo Boss shirt, I didn’t even give it back. I ran out the back door. We’ll see what happens.
* What is it? AG? After the guy?
* A dog in china was eating better than a doctor in north korea. The end. Count your blessings. Go get the car door fixed.
* You did a book in 2 weeks, and I’m still trying to finish Open by Andre Agassi 13 months in!
* Somebody put water in the red wine bottle so they wouldn’t get charged!
* I didn’t mention it. Well, I gotta be honest. I did do something.
* They’ll go to sleep at night going, “He knows!"
Episode 240

Runtime
 Previous Episode

The guys have a major announcement concerning the future of this show.....

## Topics discussed

* After a return from no-show last week, the guys handle the backlash on social media differently.
* Sebastian apologizes for eating cashews on mic
* Reactions to the presidential election and subsequent behavior by the losing side
* Critiques of the White House
* Major announcement: the show is moving to Sirius-XM.

## Quotes from the episode

* You’re still in Miami, right?Fantastic. Trump just got rid of the Zika in Miami. He’s already at it!
* Let’s just say, I keep my lady in check.
* It looks like it smells like mold and old wood. (White house )
* Why are the general populace walking through the most powerful man in the world’s home? I don’t even let the UPS guy in the house!
* If Scott Baio walked in and Jimmy Carter walked in, I would have to flip a coin…
* I got special Zika mosquito spray Oh, I could sell you a boat in the desert, bro.
* Pacino in one corner of the restaurant, Jimmy Carter in the other…It’s not even a question.
* Show within a show: Chicago Cubs world series winners, Eddie Vedder
* Sebastian attends the world series, is confronted by a patriotic fan
* So a lot of you young dads, give us a call, let us know what you think...
Tidesbane Armor

Effects
 Source

The Tidesbane Armor was the armor of legendary Admiral Elroar Tidesbane, after whom this armor takes it's name.

Elroar was renowned as a legendary navy tactician, and he served as King Fafner's admiral during his conquest. He gathered a reputation for always wearing his armor at sea, despite that normally being an incredibly dangerous thing to do. A normal person in armor would easily be thrown overboard by the waves, and quickly sink to the depths of the ocean.

This armor however, is incredibly light, as it was made by the finest of Elven blacksmiths. Light as a feather, but as hard as dragon scales. Additionally, Elroar had it enchanted to allow him to breathe underwater.

## Legend

The legend behind the armor's enchantment was that Elroar had made a bet with the God of the Sea. He wagered that he could cross the ocean before the god, and if he were to win, the god would share some of his power.

Scoffing at the unlikelihood of this idea, the god quickly accepted with a laugh. However, as soon as he did, Elroar took out a piece of paper with the words "the ocean" written on it. He quickly crossed them out with a piece of coal.

Being a good sport, the god enchanted the man's armor to allow him to breathe underwater.

## History

A few years after King Fafner united The Greylands, Elroar and his crew were reported to be lost at sea.

Roughly 800 years later, a group known as the Laign Adventurers Guild received a clue to where the armor may be. They travelled to the east coast of the Ire and came across a pile of large boulders. Between them was an entrance to a cave, where they found Elroar's men had placed him in a finely crafted tomb.

Inside the tomb was the Tidesbane Armor, and after much debating Vahlok was allowed to keep it.
Glowstone

I can't remember if this was the name I gave it or not. I could be wrong.

The Glowstone was a legendary item given to Zero by a farmer during The Voice of Jaarn. It was a family heirloom, but as he did not have any children, and was old, the farmer decided to give it to the men who protecting him and his home.

The Glowstone was an object that would change its appearance to look like the nearest animal within 10 feet. Otherwise it would appear to look like a blue lobster.

When it would change appearances, the Glowstone appeared to become soft, and t could be crushed, destroying it.

However, when the object is crushed, it makes the animal it appeared as completely loyal to the crusher.

## Uses

Zero used a Glowstone on a hostile haste wolf, and later renamed him Shadow.
Episode 194

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Pete is back on land. Sebastian is on his movie set. And they both get embarrassed!

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian's experience shooting Cruise has him waiting around, fighting to keep his lines, frustrated by the lack of structure on set.
* The guys trade stories about on-set experiences
* Pete has a "major incident on a flight" and the police are called.
* Sebastian has a graphic conversation with his wife involving the phrase "cumdump", but as Pete says, "it gets worse."
* Sebastian reiterates his recommendation of Milos NYC, get the fried zucchini with the tasiki sauce, the greek salad ($32), additionally Heitz Cabernet.
* Pete apologizes for last week's song
* Pete discovers "Antiques Roadshow" (currently in season 20), is disappointed in the low value of John Adams' death chair
* Pete's neighbor is overly protective of his children playing with his daughter, Sebastian thinks parents should not be asking for Halloween candy alongside their children.
* A discussion of driveway vs. street parking etiquette for guests

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: "We spent an hour and a half setting up for the scene, now we gotta go eat rice and carrots?"
* Pete: "I'm off the boat literally 4 hours, already a major incident on a flight."
* Pete: "I bet you wouldn't be harassing me if I was muslim right now! Then I'd have a lawsuit."
* Pete: "They know, that we know, we're lucky to be Italian."
* Sebastian: "Ugh, you heard 'cumdump?'"
* Sebastian: "What's that? President passed away in that chair."
Episode 260

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Quotes from the episode

* I don’t care if that guy was the indian Bob Vila! You don’t give anybody 4 grand, 6 months in advance!
* That guy and that money are gone, lost forever. As lost as your old high school refrigerator’s virginity!
* I reached a new level with crying. Open mouth and then tears rolling down. No sound.
* Serafina Simone Maniscalco.
* Holy shit get the cot we got a guy who’s staying. Been awhile but we got one.
* What is this? Olan mills portrait studio?
* Upgrade? My wife is bleeding!
* They washed her like a Jeep Cherokee.
* You’ll be reading the Agassi book together in no time.
* I’m joyriding in your vehicle!
Lazy Laign Tavern

Type
 Location
Patrick Reilly (Formerly Head Bartender)
Blake Brown (Bartender)

The Lazy Laign Tavern is a business run by Patty Patang. It offers both food and drinks along with a comfortable inn in the upstairs. Patty opened the tavern when the Spring Road was first announced, as she saw it as a potential goldmine. Business has been good, and the Lazy Laign has a tremendous flow of business in the warmer months of the year.
Glenfield

Type
 Location

Glenfield is the only city and capital in Leinster, Ulster, and it is owned by House Aubrey.

It is build around the keep of Aubrey Castle with much of the city residing within it's ancient walls.

It houses the county council, a group of representatives from each barony in the county, and the Leinster Citadel.
Staff of the Warmage

Effects
 Source

The Staff of the Warmage was a weapon used by a Kobold Wyrmpriest who was the leader of the kobolds in Kobold Hall.

The weapon is considered to be a level 1 enchanted item, and as such gives a +1 bonus to all attacks.

In addition to +1 to stats, the Staff can also increase the size of any one blast or burst by1 once per day.

The Staff also does an additional 1d8 damage anytime the user uses the staff to make a critical hit.

## History

The Kobold Wyrmpriest obtained the Staff at an unknown time before the Laign Adventurers Guild was formed. He used the Staff to gain pwoer within his Kobold clan, and eventually become leader.

When the 'Guild was sent to destroy the Kobolds, they killed the Wyrmpriest and retrieved the staff.

The team agreed it was in their best interest for Vahlok to keep the staff.
Episode 191

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Pete is stuck on a boat before his new special comes out and Sebastian gets coffee with Seinfeld!

## Topics discussed

* Pete is on the boat going through extensive safety training and expectorating in public.
* Pete's investigative instincts kick in when a shared bathroom is defiled.
* A discussion of aging and physical appearance, including Pete's jowl tan lines.
* Show within a show where DJ Lou tells about his dream of having a slumber party with Eddie Vedder.
* Sebastian has a delicious Jimmy Johns experience despite an angry, apathetic staff.
* Performing on the Oddball Comedy Festival has Sebastian spoiled by private jet travel, blackballed because of his politics.
* Sebastian's punctuality and professionalism as Johnny the Groundhog impresses the cast and crew.
* Jerry Seinfeld picks up Sebastian and takes him out for a hot beverage, beginning a whirlwind 48 hours of first-class treatment.
* Live clip of Pete calling out a couple for making out
* Pete is celebrating his 15th wedding anniversary, don't forget to watch his Showtime special on Friday, November 13.

## Quotes from the episode

* Jimmy from Boston: "You gotta attack that bastard like Petey's thighs attack each other in those white corduroy pants."
* Sebastian: "I better not see a drop of any of your fluid in the bathroom."
* Pete: "There's a tanline where I didn't get color cause there's a foldover on my old face."
* Sebastian: "It's nice to eat a Jimmy Johns in peace and without getting looked at by your wife like you're doing a line of coke."
* Pete: "Bernie Sanders...I can't have you next to Putin having a cup a coffee."
* Sebastian: "Answer your own question and move the meeting along."
* Pete: "Can someone use the Rosetta Stone so I can have a conversation in the elevator?"
* Sebastian: "I know I'm supposed to wait...but I'm dying to know what the lemons are for."
* Sebastian: "I'm hoping they take some of what I look like and infuse that into the groundhog."
* Pete: "This \*whole night\* is me."
Laign Adventurers Guild

The Laign Adventurers' Guild is a group of individuals who grouped together in the town of Laign to complete quests and to keep the peace beyond the limits of the Town Guard.

## History

The guild was originally a party of bodyguards who came to Laign while protecting a caravan. While they did fail their mission, they caught the eye of Brandon Burns the town's local Gravekeeper. He approached the party in the Lazy Laign Tavern and asked them to help find his missing gravedigger.

Once they finished their quest, and returned the gravedigger's body to Brandon, they set out looking for a new job. The towns mayor asked the group to route out the kobolds residing in Kobold Hall.

Having defeated a dragon beneath the hall, which the mayor claimed credit for, they had gained his trust. With various members of the town raising from the dead, the adventuring party lead an investigation. The return of Robb Gaito lead to answers, and an ambush, which swayed the mayor to believe in the cult. Following a dire battle in the Cultist Mansion, the mayor asked the group to form the Laign Adventurer's Guild, to serve as an elite task force for the town.

## Business Dealings

Upon capturing the assumed base of the Laign Cultists, the guild was formed by the mayor's request, and Robb Gaito took the initiative. Requesting each of his old three bodyguards to submit a vote for the guilds new master, he won the majority and got to work.

In exchange for the wares he helped recapture at the Cultist Mansion, he purchased and refurbished the same mansion to accommodate his planned guild. Paying much of these costs himself, he later asked the other core members, Zero, Dances, and Vahlok to contribute to the guilds treasury.

With the three contributing a years salaries for Robb, a bodyguard, and a maester, he was able to hire group friend Paul Peters and sent a request to the county citadel for a new maester. In short order, Andy Collins arrived, and began by establishing a guild raven outpost to allow communication throughout the known world through birds.

## Questing

The Adventurer's took their first quest officially with The Voice of Jaarn. Following their mission they returned home with a new-found power. They were able to command the Laign Cultists to stop murdering people pointlessly.

Additionally while back in Laign, the group met Rathal at the Lazy Laign Tavern, as he was intrigued by their conversations with Cliff Cory and Patty Patang. Following introductions, they hired him as a junior associate, entitled to 25% of the standard pay.

After getting acquainted to the guild headquarters, Rathal was anxious to go on a quest. Fortunately, Andy had received a raven from the Leinster Citadel containing details about the missing Admiral's Armor form the times of King Fafner.

## Guild Members

 The Ranger
 Rathal | Junior Associate Adventurer

## Possessions

 Haste Wolf (Shadow)

 Tidesbane Armor | Vahlok
Six Path Arcanum Training

A Jinchuriki Practice Pill gives 10 Exp (normal) or 100 Exp (crit).

## Six Path Arcanum - Jinchuriki Promotion

Reaches a Jinchuriki Lvl 10, so you can upgrade to next Tailed Beast with Promotion Pills.

A Promote **try** costs only Promotion Pills.

A **forced** Promote costs Promotion Pills + Gold

## Six Path Arcanum - Jinchuriki Practice

* 1-Tail
* 2-Tail
* 3-Tail
* 4-Tail
* 5-Tail
* 6-Tail
* 7-Tail
* 8-Tail
* 9-Tail
* 10-Tail
* Devil 1-Tail
* Devil 2-Tail
* Devil 3-Tail
* Devil 4-Tail
* Devil 5-Tail
* Devil 6-Tail
* Devil 7-Tail
* Devil 8-Tail
* Devil 9-Tail
* Devil 10-Tail

**One Tailed - Shukaku**

**Two Tailed - Matatabi**

**Three Tailed - Isobu**

**Four Tailed - Son Goku**

**Five Tailed - Kokuou**

**Six Tailed - Saiken**

**Seven Tailed - Choumei**

**Eight Tailed - Gyuuki**

**Nine Tailed - Kurama**

**Ten Tailed - Shinju**

**Devil One Tailed - Shukaku**

**Devil Two Tailed - Matatabi**

**Devil Three Tailed - Isobu**

**Devil Four Tailed - Son Goku**

**Devil Five Tailed - Kokuou**

**Devil Six Tailed - Saiken**

**Devil Seven Tailed - Choumei**

**Devil Eight Tailed - Gyuuki**

**Devil Nine Tailed - Kurama**

**Devil Ten Tailed - Shinju**
House Aubrey

House Aubrey is a noble house of the lands of the Ire. They are one of 6 houses to control a duchy in the region.

They take up residence in Aubrey Castle, a fort their ancestors had won in an ancient battle, and which they constantly expand.

The house currently holds the fief of Ulster, a duchy which has been in the family for 4 generations.
Leinster

Type
 Location

Leinster is a county which has seen it's power shift numerous times through various counts. It's covers a large swath of land, but do to its sparse populations doesn't offer as much tax revenue as various other counties might gather.

It is located within the duchy of Ulster and beyond that within the Kingdom of the Ire. Leinster is currently considered to be the capital of Ulster, and as such it is ruled by Duke Aubrey, and his family.

It's capital is Glenfield, the only city located within the county. It is recorded that there are seven towns within Leinster, although this does not include any recent village booms that may have occurred since the inception of the Spring Road.
Laign Town Guard

Type
 Location

The Laign Town Guard is the primary policing force in the town of Laign. Their mission is to protect and serve, as well as serving as the Mayor's personal military force when needed. The Guard is divided into four ranks, with the first three typically only being held by one person at a time.

The Head of the Guard, also called the captain, is the highest rank, and is the defacto commander in all fields. This position is current held by Dick Ryan. He has expressed his support for the Laign Adventurers Guild and voted positively towards its formation at a Town Hall meeting.

The First Lieutenant, and Second Lieutenant positions are the second and third highest respectively, and in lieu of the Head the First Lieutenant is considered the leader of the guard. The lieutenant ranks assume the same responsibilities as the privates, such as patrols and details, however they are given commanding power of said privates. Each of these two roles are typically only held by one member of the guard each.

Lastly Privates, the lowest on the totem pole that is the guards make up the vast majority of the Guard in Laign. There are approximately 45 privates in the system guarding Laign. Those which are distinguished are given additional part-time duties as the desk attendant in the Laign Guard Headquarters, as to be closer to the Captain and to potentially advice him on topics.

## Known Members

 Bob Bryant | First Lieutenant
 Gordon Grimes | Second Lieutenant
 Paul Peters | Private
 Matt Castino | Private
 James Tang | Private
Incarcerated(Previously)
Rick Ravenloft

Class
 Status
 Height
 Weight

Rick Ravenloft is the owner of the Laign Smithy the very creative name of the local blacksmith in Laign. At some point in his early life he purchased the smithy from his former teacher and friend, to whom Rick was the apprentice of. Rick had one day intended to sell the business in turn to his apprentice Todd Merringoff before his untimely death.

Rick runs a tidy shop, and is supposedly "the quickest blacksmith to ever reside in Laign". He is beloved by his patrons due to his possitive attitude and friendly demeanor.

He is a tall man, with a broad build. His muscles have clearly developed from the constant hammering and shaping he has had to do throughout his life. It's believed he is the strongest man in Laign. He has a full head of dark black hair and a tan complexion. His thighs are larger than a normal man's head.
Laign Cultists

The Laign Cultists are a sub-division, or cultist-cell of the Hand of Naarth. These cultist revive individuals from the dead, and recruit them to their ranks. Everyone resurrected appears to have no memories of their past, and every member of the cult appears to have been resurrected at some point themselves.
King Algar

Class
 Weight

King Algar is a king from lands north of the Ire. He has allegedly fabricated claims to the Kingdom of the Ire and has pushed these claims in three wars thus far.

In King Algar's First Conquest of the Ire he was defeated quickly by the northern Iron lords.

In King Algar's Second Conquest of the Ire, Algar made huge strides towards controlling the Ire. However, he was met by stern resistance from Duke Gala while trying to take his lands in the West Ire. After Gala defeated his principle army, he recaptured the lands Algar took, and redistributed them to the families from which he stole them.

Recently, King Algar declared King Algar's Third Conquest of the Ire, where he has employed many mythical beasts and armies of less civilized races, such as goblins and kobolds, to take his third attack into the Ire. The northern Iron lords agreed to abstain from the fighting, as long as he would uphold their titles, leaving Duke Aubrey's resistance with significantly less troops than in the two previous wars.
Mario Party 3

Mario Party 3 is the 43rd series on George Beamish's channel. It was a collaborative project with Shaun1e Productions, PotatoChief, Kathryn Mills, and HydroHeat123. George played as Peach, Shaun as Waluigi, Kathryn as Donkey Kong, Lewis as Luigi, and Nathan as Toad and the Millenium Star.

## Episodes

1. I'm Fabulous As F\*ck
2. I'm A Barbie Girl
3. That Was a Great Roll
4. StopWaluigi
5. Boat Motherf\*cker
6. Chilly Waters Finale

## Trivia

* This is the first time George has had a four player game as a series. The first time ever was Board Game Online.
* This was the first time George had 5 people commentating on a game at one time.
* This game is planned to be returned to at some point, and will eventually have all the boards played, including the dual boards.
Episode 166

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Pete and Sebastian have a few drinks while recording!

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian witnesses "seat saving" behavior at the Montage in Laguna Beach (Sleeping with Sebastian)
* The decline of the American family where the child rules the roost.
* Pete is digging a hole for a hide-and-stash in his back yard, a discussion of cashless society in a dystopian future.
* Updating the faces on the bills of US currency.
* Pete interviews an Amish businessman to quote painting his house.
* A buzzkill audience member takes issue with Pete's carbon monoxide detector joke.
* An appeal to JJ Watt for free Reebok merchandise, Pete is a 10.5, Sebastian is a diminutive 9.

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: "They had real bunnies hopping around. I didn't see a real bunny until I was 33 years old."
* Pete: "What am I in college? Is this a festival?...Did I lose you cause that was hilarious."
* Pete: "At the end of the day, you're staying where people that murder people stay on the outskirts of Manhattan."
* Sebastian: "If you have a garage sale, you can't accept cash now in Louisiana."
* Pete: "Ellen or Oprah on the $1 would make me carry coins. I'd rather carry around 20 Michael Jordans."
* Sebastian: "I said, my father made the price, now get the hell out of the line."
* Pete: "I am not gonna lie to you, Jackie hasn't touched my foot since 1998. In any capacity."
Brandon Burns

Class
 Status
 Height
 Weight

Brandon Burns is the owner of the graveyard in Laign. He runs a simple business, and keeps his employees paid to the highest amount he is able, keeping minimal profits for himself.

Recently, Brandon has been under a lot of stress. He has had many unfortunate occurrences happen to those around him. His gravedigger, Mike Makarth, didn't show up for work one morning. When he asked Mike's family if they had seen him, he had to look for help when they hadn't. He employed three ex-bodyguards to find his man since the guard did all they could, and he didn't have money for seasoned investigators.

Unfortunately, their quest ended in the discovery of Mike's corpse, and the death of Brandon's only other employee, Simon Lacault.

He gave a large bonus to Mike's family following his death, and held a funeral for him a day later.

However, something unexpected happened leading to both Mike and Simon came back to life, but with new personas. He rehired Tim Black, Simon Lacault's resurrection, as his priest, only to have him die again.

Needless to say, he hasn't been having a very sane last few months.
Cthulhu Saves The World

Cthulhu Saves The World is the 41st series on George Beamish's channel. It was uploaded as a Halloween series, as shown by George's icon's head being on Cthulhu's body.

## Epsiodes

1. Rip It To Shreds
2. Why Is This Game Shit?

## Trivia

* George didn't know the game was going to be this bad, and as a result, he wished he'd made it into a Ghost Blast instead.
The Missing Gravedigger

The Missing Gravedigger refers to the first quest the Laign Adventurers Guild took on. Although it occurred before the creation as their group, it is still given this title.

## Background

Mike Makarth was an employee of Brandon Burns, as his gravedigger, for years before one night he went missing. Having never shown up late for work before, his employer Brandon searched for him, stopping at his home and the local tavern. Neither his family nor the tavern owner had seen Mike since at least the previous morning.

Meanwhile, a group of bodyguards were protecting a caravan against a horde of kobolds. After failing to save the valuables of the caravan the group took to the tavern to drown their sorrows.

## Introduction

Inside the tavern the deposed bodyguards were approached by the worried owner of the graveyard. Brandon lead with a few compliments as to the burliness of the crew then asked for their help. Desperate to rekindle their pride, the crew took to the investigation like a moth to a light.

## Investigation

At the graveyard, the group investigated Brandon's office. Inside they found logs of the latest corpses, and a pay stub for Mike, and outside they found the corpse they read about. This seemed to confirm Brandon's story. Clearly Mike had left in a hurry.

Now in the graveyard's temple, the crew interrogated Simon Lacault, the temple's priest. Confident and smooth, the group ruled him out in short order, and left when he said he had business to attend to.

Their were two crypts on the grounds. Upon entering the first, the group was shocked to see a skeleton, floating in the air, apparently bound by invisible ropes by it's four appendages. It's head seemed to be screaming but no sound came out. Only after interacting with the skeleton did it react to their precense, and the group was forced to fight it. One last massive blow from Dances with Wolves' morning-star shattered the bones apart and sent them to the four corners of the crypt.

On the floor appeared a blue circle, clearly of magical origin. Trying to investigate, Zero slammed his hand fingers first into it, breaking a finger. Without solving the circles riddle, they travelled to the next crypt where they discovered a hidden tunnel in one of the resting sites. Down this tunnel, they found a man strung up by his appendages matching the description of Mike Makarth, surrounded by men in red hoods and cloaks.

"What are you guys doing?!?", belted out Vahlok. The two groups engaged in battle, that included a spray blast impacting Mike by the hand of Vahlok. One "cultist" managed to escape, and the party was relieved to find out that while Mike was dead, it was long before Vahlok's had impacted his body.

## Conclusion

Returning Mike's body to Brandon found the party in a predicament. Brandon was not a rich man, and had offered them a reward for finding Mike. However, he asked if the party could waive their pay to send to Mikes widowed wife and son. The obliged and gained a friend and a positive public opinion.
Krushnak

Class
 Status
 Height
 Weight

Krushnak, posthumously known as Lord Krushnak the Wise, was a Giant of The Hills. He was a legendarily intelligent giant.

## Early Life

Giants were normally a rather wit-less race, but Krushnak was an exception, and got bored with his life.

While not as smart as a normal human, he was unique, and was the first giant to explore the ancient Dragonborn fortress located in The Hills. Within it, he found an Amulet of Knowledge which made him a gifted scholar.

## Giant Reformation

After traveling the known worlds, Kru returned back to The Hills with a mission. He wanted to remove the Giant stereotype of dim-witted hulks. To do this, Krushnak gathered the smartest, and the strongest giants, and established noble "families". He selectively bred the Giants over 250 years of his life, forcing his selected targets to seek his approval to mate. As time went on they became more adjusted to this, and it became a tradition to ask the clan elder to wed.

As time passed, the Giants started to get smarter, and started serving in mercenary companies both as hulking warriors, and esteemed commanders.

Before long, Fafner was born, and he would use his selectively bred intelligence and his kinsmen's ties to unite The Greylands into a kingdom.

Krushnak served as King Fafner's adviser for many years, passing only a few before Fafner himself, thus concluding his unnaturally long life.
The Greylands

The Greylands is the name of all known lands encompassed by the seas. It is a continent, and although it is known there are others, they are still uncharted by the greyfolk.

The Greylands were first given their name as a spiteful nickname based of the first king to unite the continent under one banner, King Fafner I of the Grey.

The region is broken up into 11 de jure kingdoms, but not all may be formed at any given time, and some may be broken into several more kingdoms leading to there being as few as just 1 kingdom, or maybe evan as many as 30-40 kingdoms.
Robb Gaito's Caravan

**Robb Gaito's Caravan** refers to a large collection of horse drawn carriages and travelling merchants who were under the employ of Robb Gaito.

## History

The caravan was formed by Robb Gaito to try and facilitate a trade network along the newly formed Spring Road. His mother's worsening health triggered his inspiration to acquire gold for her treatment, although her death came before he could set out on his journey.

After returning from their fourth major haul, the caravan was ambushed on the Spring Road by kobolds from Kobold Hall. The caravan's bodyguards, eventually the founding members of the Laign Adventurers Guild, failed to protect them.

Numerous merchants died, and Robb was left with few of his wares. After dropping off the bodyguards at the town of Laign, the caravan continued down the Spring Road to Robb's hometown the Peninsula of Man. Due to a clash between local cultists and the town guards, the remainder of Robb's caravan, horses, carriages, and all were destroyed.

Although Robb did eventually recover a small portion of the supplies stolen by the kobolds, he decided to put the caravan business aside to lead the newly formed Laign Adventurers Guild.
East Ire

Type
 Location

East Ire is a duchy located within the Kingdom of the Ire, and it's Duke is currently unknown.

It is one of 6 duchies within the Ire, and it contains 2 counties.

## Recent Events

The lords of East Ire declared their support for Duke Aubrey in King Algar's Third Conquest of the Ire opting to defend all lands of the Ire from foreign invaders.
Kingdom of The Hills

Type
 Location

The Kingdom of The Hills is the newest of the 12 Greyland de jure kingdoms. It was originally an 'unoccupied' area that the major races were too afraid of to settle. However, King Fafner used his political intrigue to unite the Giants and Goblins of the realm, and stake out his own kingdom in the area.

The Kingdom of The Hills was the primary kingdom in the Kingdom of The Greylands.

Once Fafner had united the kingdoms, humans and other major races moved into the The Hills, and built some rather large cities.
Shadow

Species
 Status
 Height
 Weight

Shadow is a breed of dire wolf known as a haste wolf. These wolves are incredibly fast, and cannot be seen while at full speed, besides a large black blur.

They are difficult to hit with attacks, and as such can potentially take down entire parties of warriors single handedly.

Shadow is infinitely loyal to Zero.

## History

Shadow was owned by the Hand of Naarth, as was a minion under their control. When they discovered that the Laign Adventurers Guild was coming to thwart their plans, they sent Shadow to kill them.

Unfortunately for them, the Guild was well equipped, and managed to trip and bag the wolf with ease.

Zero had recently been given a Glowstone as a gift, and used it's abilities on Shadow, ultimately destroying it. However, Shadow became loyal to Zero, and will obey his every command.