Season 3 Episode 5: Jcast

What the heck! Have Clayne Cast become the first Alpha Jakers Podcast? Plus, an update about our sons and Nate gets NASTY! And another awful episode of Lethal!

## Episode Summary

Join the hosts for another crazy adventure! Each host gets 60 seconds to pitch their Idea for the HBO Jakers reboot. Tom insists on watching Lucifer.

The little monsters aka their sons are getting into a little bit of trouble! Tom's boy found out how to crack the locks on their doors and left a big mess in the guest room. Drew and his son went outside to subway. He enriches his sons room by renting a bunch of movies on DVD. Nate tries to abandon his boy in the California wilderness, but somehow his homing instinct is so strong, every time he reliably keeps showing up at Nate's mansion 30 minutes later. It seems everyone is getting along well despite the challenges of fatherhood.

Plus several R Kelly references.

The Lethal episode was not well received and thus was barely talked about.

### Recap

Art Heist! But with the usual last minute plot twist involving Columbian Rebels and Billionaires. Murtaugh still has his boat and Cole still has feelings for his ex-wife. And the Migos!

Domestic scene with SWS, his ex wife Nat and her new BF Andrew. It’s her birthday and he brought her the special shampoo she likes but she makes him leave because he makes Andrew uncomfortable.

Riana catches Roger get a package for his boat, which he still has – lying to his wife again. He tells her to keep it under wraps but she blackmails him to do so. She wants to go to a Migos concert but Trish said no because it’s on a school night! So Roger undercuts Trish’s authority and lets her go, then grovels back into Trish's good graces.

At the office, they meet with Lena who handled the Art that was stolen for the Halderman Gallery. She gives them a manifest and Cole makes a fool of himself by falsely guessing where she’s from.
Sonya and Roger both keep saying Cole has no Game. They finally let Bailey back on screen again! Murtaugh says Bailey’s been very snarky lately. Projection much?
Avery’s meeting with the police chief who wants the Art found. Then Sonya tells them about the Driver who miraculously survived.
Cole’s already over there and finds out a name – Gatanas. Conveniently, it’s also the Hospital his ex wife’s new BF works at so he cuts the interview short and stalks this busy doctor into the elevator. Almost like last episode!
Cole presses the emergency button and confronts Andrew, who's claustrophobic and tries to start the elevator again but they sort of scuffle and a little box falls out of his kittle. They bonk heads both going to pick it up and of course it’s an engagement ring big surprise. Andrew storms off and Cole praises the ring.

Murtaugh picks him up and they drive to the “Warehouse district”, where Bailey found some coordinates. Of course it’s a paint company and they find a guy on the phone, with a submachine gun.

Cole convinces Murtaugh not to go in guns blazing, since a stray bullet could ignite the barrels of paint thinner, killing everyone and destroying the art. He'll go in and try to distract the guy and draw him away from the gun, then he’ll give Roger a signal, who can come in to arrest the guy. When he asks what the signal will be, Cole reassures him by saying he’ll know.

Cole goes in and asks the guy for a bucket of gold paint, so he can paint himself gold for the Lakers game. He gives a subtle signal, and when Roger doesn’t get that, makes a more obvious one with his arm. Roger still doesn’t come in and the guy eventually grabs the gun and fires at cole, who dodges and finally, Roger comes in and starts shooting. Small fires start, and multiple paintings get ripped or shot up.
Eventually Cole impales the guy on a giant dinosaur tusk.
Now this was a strange scene. As we all remember back in season 1, Roger had a special signal with Avery where he tapped his shoulder. So he must be aware of how these things work. But here he almost gest his Partner killed and destroys all the Art! And they cause one extra death but at this point who’s counting.

Avery is obviously upset but before they can get into a shouting match, Lena comes in and wants to know what happened. Cole takes her to see the busted up art and she finds a small roll still intact. It’s of a place in Lebanon and then Cole whines about his ex-wife, nothing happens.

Meanwhile, Bailey and Murtaugh check on the notorious rich guy Art collector Mister Halderman on his Yacht. They confront him about the insurance fraud but he has an alibi, and the signature on the insurance paper was faked – by none other than Lena!
They speed back to the station in a wild green screen cut and call Cole to warn him, but it’s too late: Lena locks him in the saferoom and escapes on a motorcycle. Cole uses the giant bloody tusk from before to smash through the door and chases after her.
Sonya and Roger come speeding down the street right towards her and Roger speeds towards her but swerves at the last minute, crashing the car into a parked car. The airbags pop open and everyone survives but what the hell Murtaugh. Using a vehicle as a weapon is just part of this shows DNA. Anyway, Lena also crashed and is wounded but gets away.

At the station again now, Bailey agrees to help them and finds out “Lena” is actually Layla Khudari and her Mother painted the painting she was looking at before, but was killed in the early 2000s. Cole catches her at the airport and convinces her to come with him to his Motel, even though she had a gun on him.
He then calls ex-wife to stitch Layla up. On her birthday. Insane. She gets mad when he won’t tell her what’s going on and leaves.

The next morning, Bailey wakes up Murtaugh on his boat. He had to spend the night there after a little spat with Trish. She found out Halderman worked with a Columbian guerilla group called BACRIM. Such a strange twist. Just then Cole discovers a microchip inside the Painting’s protective tube. They call Cole to tell him, and Layla tells them Halderman’s whole deal is doing deals with paramilitary groups.

Members of that very group are on Halderman’s yacht and when he activates the tracking on the chip Cole has, they shoot him in the head. Then they kidnap Cole and Leila and demand Murtaugh meet them ON THE WATER, alone to trade the chips for their lives.

Luckily, Murtaugh still has his boat, Lucile! So they drive over, and Bailey hides below deck as Murtaugh talks to the bad guy leader. Just when Murtaugh shows him the chips in a Ziploc bag, another bad guy jumps on deck with a rocket launcher!
Bailey sees this and shoots him, the guy spins around and fires a missile INSIDE of the yacht. Incredible. The yacht begins to sink and Cole tries to break free from the ropes, but Layla cant stand anymore and goes under. Cole shouts NO, dives below water and breathes air into her mouth while he finishes untying them. Eventually they escape and make it onto deck.

Roger notices the big pool of oil the boat has now began to leak, and wants to shoot it with a flare gun. He gives Cole a very obvious raised fist signal, and him and Leilah jump off the boat. Just then, Roger shoots the flare where it ignites the oil, igniting the boat and blowing up all the bad guys with their chips.

With Layla and Cole back on the boat they are free to leave, but unfortunately Lucille also got hit and is sinking, oh no!

Everyone made it back to the station though somehow, where the Chief is praising Cole and Roger, and Bailey to some extent, for their role in solving this international art heist. Then Roger gives him a list of expenses accrued during the investigation, which includes the cost for his now sunk boat. When he explains captain Avery told him to do this, we find out the Chief really doesn’t know KRahm’s name is Avery.

Roger comes back home and is totally dry but for his shoes, which are soaking wet for some reason. He apologizes to Trish who’s having a glass of Wine and is in a good mood, because she reminds Roger he’s going to Migos in San Diego this weekend!

Cole wants to fess up to ex wife about still having feelings for her but gets cold feet, and then Roger invites him to come along to “the Mugos”.

## Notable Quotes

### Nate

* "I'm walkin' off"
* "Girls was for girls but this is for boys."
* "I feel like this episode might not get released."
* "Sorry you got used to Tom-time, but guess what? It's Jakers time, with me 'n' Drew!"
* "It's not a kids show anymore Drew, it's not a fucking kids show!"

### Tom

* "He's got an issue now he needs a tissue."
* "Nasty little man. You're an inch tall."
* "Diva behavior here."
* "Kids don't need sex, they need violence!"
* "Don't...don't. Don't call on me to back you up."
* "Oh I didn't know it was time for you to interrupt me."

### Drew

* "He left a mess in the room / had to break down the door!" (singing to the tune of *Trapped in the closet*)
* "COOKIE!"
* "Nate...we're not having them fuck. We're not gonna see Jakers bust. Okay?"
* "Stupid idea, fuck you Tom."
* "You guys are awful, man."
* "Me and Nate are sympatico."

## CCEUpdates/AMPDates

Since Nate has friends at HBO, Jakers will be rebooted on the network.

Each of the hosts gets 1 minute **interruption free** to pitch their way of doing it, sort of like an elevator pitch with the execs.

### Drew's Pitch:

**Jakers (continued)**

Pure reboot. Exciting stories about Piggly winks getting into light hearted trouble. Classic Jakers. As Jakers was cancelled for being too trad in a woke world, the twist is all episodes will be written by red-pilled people from the Manosphere, such as Zuby and Andrew Tate. Plus a new character voiced by Zuby called Zubz.

### Nate's Pitch:

**BOYS with Jakers**

Jakers is in his mid to late twenties or grown up, in New York, and there's a lot of fucking. It's 2023 and Jakers tries to navigate a post-pandemic world. He just got out of College and tries to navigate Love and this woke world. It sounds quite graphic and involves underage animals involved in "sexual misadventures" with each other and humans.

He claims it's *Girls* but for boys. Jakers has a big swingin' D and he's not afraid to use it. He *nuts*. Basically he wants to make Euphoria with Jakers.

### Tom's Pitch:

**John Wick 4 x Jakers**

R-rated action movie as some kind of found-footage horror.

JW brutally slaughters all the Jakers characters, with lots of gory detail.

## Get to know your Host(s)

Drew has been very busy recently, establishing the **Stinky Ducky LLC** with his friend Mitch.

He also is owner of **Frisky Zombie**, a horror movie studio producing the Catch the alien film.

## Trivia

This is the first episode to start with the Jakers theme.

A Loli is what the anime people do when they draw young looking characters but say they're actually hundreds of years old. Sus!

Jakers would fucking destroy John Wick.