Season 2, Episode 29: S.O.C.C.E.R.: Shadow of Scorenogoal

**S.O.C.C.E.R.: Shadow of Scorenogoal** is the 29th episode of season 2 of *Dungeons and Daddies.* The title is possibly a reference to *Shadow of Mordor*, or maybe *S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl*.

## Description

*Game on, as the teens kick off the soccer match in HELL!*

## Introduction

ANOTHER parody of Wiz Khalifa's *See You Again*, this time for Brad Schmegan.

## Rad Facts

* Taylor Swift (Freddie Wong): Taylor doesn't shower, unless it's right before strenuous physical activity. He also defines "showering" as just standing outside in the rain and calling it good.\*
* Lincoln Li-Wilson (Matt Arnold): Link had a best friend until he was 8 years old. His name was Mr. Kicks, who was his Create-A-Character on his FIFA game. The character would transfer from save file to save file as the years went on. When Link got a new console, however, it wasn't backwards compatible and Mr. Kicks' save file got lost.
* Normal Oak (Will Campos): Normal is the most published author in the Archive of our Own fanfiction subforum for Teen High.
* Scary Marlowe (Beth May): Scary's fact is a poem about how she felt last episode:

>
> i'm writing this in my head, no pen.
>
> the pain in my hand is a ten out of ten.
>
> hand, or should i say, lack thereof,
>
> the fires of hell fit like a glove.
>
> ten pain? zero friends.
>
> twenty-two take the pitch.
>
> i'll win this game faster
>
> than y'all said bitch.
>
>
>
>

* Jodie Foster (Jimmy Wong): He didn't realize everything would go differently once he transformed back to the King of Hell. He had two consciousnesses that conflict with each other, and he'd been completely downtrodden, which is why he and Morgan got divorced.
* Dungeon Master (Anthony Burch): Anthony's head canon for why Jodie and Morgan got divorced is more because Glenn was kind of the cool friend of the family and eventually warmed up to Morgan because he wasn't trying to impose himself on the family.

## Plot Summary

### Content Warnings

From the episode description:

*This episode contains Profanity, Violence, Sexual Content, Body Horror, Gore, and References to Self Harm/Suicide*

Further notes and clarifications (contain spoilers):

* body horror shenanigans involve: legs getting cut off, pain to the point of losing consciousness, violent improvised prosthetics, extending a leg stump through magic, reattaching and fusing at limbs
* SH/suicide: A minor character is suicidal after being brought back from heaven. (aside from the moments mentioned in the summary, there is also one joke in the after credit scene)
* Jodie spends the episode going after Morgan against her will. Some of the soccer demons hate women.
* Towards the end, when Normal fails to catch the pick everyone makes fun of him, including his friends.

All the above mentioned are played for comedy. Aside from Jodie sucking, these bits get passed over quickly.

### Soccer

The referee is the old Satan, as known from the Entourage bonus episode, who lost his job after Glenn changed hell. There is more soccer talk that does not matter, but Link has a good time taking charge of the team.

Link gets the ball Normal kicked off, passes it to Scary and they score a goal immediately. Link pulls off his shirt in celebration to show “4 BRAT” (or "FOR BRAT") written in blood on his chest. This is a yellow card, which in this game means that Satan throws a yellow card that cuts his left legs off.

Glenn, who could heal Link but chooses not to, disguises himself as a member of the opposite team and kills the goalie. However, the goalkeeper notices his disguise, so Glenn snaps his neck. Some members of the other team notice and alert Satan. He gives Glenn a red card, which takes off both his legs, taking him out of the game.

After the next kickoff, the opposing team keeps control of the ball. Normal tries to help Link with a magic leg lengthening item. However, in doing that he takes off his pants and receives a yellow card, taking one of his own legs off as well. He uses the item on himself instead, to regrow his stump into “a fleshy peg leg” (this gets described a little bit).

Morgan is on the ground after a missed slide kick. Jodie goes to ‘give her more acengy’.

Scary casts Mass Suggestion, convincing most of the other team that they should let her, the woman, have the ball. One of the demon kids goes on a minor rant about female privilege.

Link breaks off half of Taylor’s candy cane and tries to ram it into the bloody stump of his leg. He fails and passes out.

Jodie convinces some of the opposing team to let Scary keep the ball once she takes control of it and prepares to block the other players. At this point he starts to call himself an ally.

A portal opens in the stands and armless Nick Foster steps out. He sees the scene and decides to sit down and watch the game. This reminds Scary of all the times her father was absent for her games.

Glenn casts Mass Suggestion (at 9th level) to convince the opposing team to deliberately touch the ball with their hands. It affects four of the players.

Taylor tries to wake up Link and, when that fails, drags his body into the goal to block it.

Agent Schmegan shoots at the kid who killed his son and misses, then gets a yellow card for attacking another player.

Two of the demon kid players have a moment touching the ball at the same time, loose their legs together and leave the field holding hands. Only three players of the opposite team still remain unaffected by any of the nonsense. They fuse together to form a soccer demon cyclone ball cannon.

Normal revivifies Brad Schmegan, who is mortified to be pulled out of heaven. Agent Schmegan is overjoyed to see his son again, but Brad does not care about him, or earthly life, anymore.

Scary gets the ball from the circle of allies keeping it for her and wakes Link up with a shout. Link manages to stab the candy cane into his leg and runs back onto the field. Scary means to pass him the ball but then decides she would rather just keep it.

### Not Soccer anymore

Jodie gets reprimanded by Morgan again and channels his male depression to make a shadow monster attack another player. Satan red cards him, putting him on the ground close to Glenn, both now without legs. They immediately start arguing. Glenn starts to magically reattach his legs, but Jodie tries to take them for himself. They start fusing together at the legs.

Link, seeing the mess Glenn is in, leaves the game to grab the guitar pick from his pocket. He tosses it over to Normal.

Taylor still plays the game, once again a lone wolf. He sings the NGE theme and drops caltrops in front of the goal.

Agent Schmegan embraces his son. Brad reaches for his gun but doesn’t get it. Schmegan tells the FBI agents to keep playing soccer, to establish control over hell. Brad Schmegan realizes that suicide is not going to get him back into heaven and just lies on the ground.

Normal gets the anchor and learns some more mechanics: destroying the anchor with violence will incline the Doodler towards violence as well, while destroying it through empathy weakens its anger and makes it more likely to detach and leave. He tries to kiss the pick and say nice things to it, but it doesn’t convince it. It needs to witness a moment of genuine empathy or growth.

Scary abandons the game as well, leaving the ball on the field. She tries to kick the pick out of Normal’s hand, but he manages to throw it back to Link.

Link and Scary argue. She explains what Willy told her: empathy will make the Doodler want to stay, while making it angry will make it easier to control. Link tries to get through to Scary and convince her not to rely on violence just because it is easier. She reasons that she is doing the hard, realistic thing, that the Doodler will inevitably hurt more people if it’s not stopped. Link snaps the pick.

### Limb Overview

By the end of the episode:

* Taylor is only a head (has the Teeny body).
* Link misses his left leg (has a candy cane leg).
* Normal misses one leg (has an elongated stump leg).
* Scary misses one hand.
* Nick has no arms.
* Glenn is reattaching his legs.
* Jodie is also attaching Glenn's legs.
* Morgan is fine.
* Hermie is presumably fine.
* Agent Schmegan misses a leg.
* Brad Schmegan is physically fine.

Aside from Nick, Taylor and possibly Normal, everyone who lost limbs is also bleeding from the injury.

## Trivia

* The intro song mentions that Henry and Mercedes Oak-Garcia had another child, a daughter, that Brad Schmegan helped to name: Birdy (or Birdie). It is not clear how old Birdy is, since Brad is a teen around 15 she would be a lot younger than Normal.
* Morgan is a Ranger (presumably level 20 like the other adults).
* Hermie The Unworthy is on the teen's team, but is not mentioned once in the episode.
* Normal tried to revivify Tony when he was murdered, but Willy held him back for a full minute, after which the spell no longer works.