Dolmio Day

If you don't know Dolmio, here's a brief introduction of it: It's basically a brand of pasta sauce that's famous for their advertisements. Their sauce is absolutely disgusting though, and they advertise their products using creepy puppets known as the "Dolmio Family"

The Dolmio Family consists of an old man named "Papa" an old women named "Mama" a 21 year old man called "Carlo" a Teenager named "Sophia" and a young child named "Nina" Most of the family is fairly old and half of them are female. But what if I told you that there was an extra member of the family who went by the name of Neveah? let's talk about that:

I was having a very boring day, due to the virus restrictions, there was nothing to do except stay inside. So I decided to watch TV and see what was on. 7mate was showing reruns of classic simpsons episodes so I decide to watch that.

When it cut to a commercial break, an ad for Dolmio played. But it wasn't one of the usual upbeat ads, it was more of a depressing buzzkill ad. It started with Mama and Papa in the hospital when Carlo (Dressed as a doctor) walked up to them and said "I'm sorry, we've lost her" Mama started sobbing uncontrollably while Papa was frowning. "But....how?" Papa asked, "Her main artery from her heart was torn" Carlo replied. "Come, say your final goodbyes to Neveah" The 2 members of the family walk into the emergency room where Neveah is seen dying on a hospital bed. She was only 9 years old, according to the dolmio website. Hyper realistic blood was all over her face, and one of her arms was torn off. This is when it started to get more disturbing than sad. Some footage of a young woman being repeatedly hit by a truck started to play, it wasn't a looped clip. it was actually the same truck every time. What's even worse is that the young women looked a lot like Neveah. it then cut back to the family and Neveah. "Come......closer" Neveah whispered. Mama and Papa took 3 steps closer, "I need.......I need" she whispered again "What do you need?" Mama asked. "A dolmio day" Neveah whispered. Suddenly. it cut to the next commercial. I kind of had to collect myself. What was that? that wasn't a dolmio advert at all, it was more like one of those lost episodes you'd see on the internet.

Another commercial break started after The Simpsons Movie ended, and yet again it opened up with a dolmio ad. This time, Mama and Papa were back at their hyper realistic house. Mama was cooking some bolognese (like she usually does) and she seemed happier this time. She was singing Hallowed Be Thy Name by Iron Maiden under her breath. Papa, on the other hand was still mourning Neveah's hyper realistic death. "Come and taste my bolognese" Mama said happily "No thank you" Papa whispered. "What's the matter papa?" Mama said. "Nothing" Papa whispered again "Why don't you come taste MY bolognese" Papa yelled. "Okay...." Mama said nervously. Mama walked to the massive pot to see Human eyeballs, intestines, kidneys, and brain matter all mushed together. Mama screamed and yelled "PAPA, STOP! THAT IS FORBIDDEN IN THE HOUSE" Papa than gave mama a death stare and said "You'll love it, it's extra tasty" Papa said with a demonic voice. It then cut to another commercial. I was starting to get creeped out a little, these weren't dolmio ads anymore, these were some dark shorts that some maniac made.

I managed to contact dolmio and ask them about the commercial, they said that there were 2 more commercials about the subject. This made me go back into the lounge room, turn the TV back on, and watch the 2 final commercials. In the third ad, Papa is at therapy, trying to recover from the traumatising event that was Neveahs death. "So why exactly are you here?" The therapist asked "I don't know, something about my child's death can't leave me for some reason" Papa said sadly. "What was the cause of her death?" The therapist said "She was repeatedly hit by a truck, I tried to stop the driver from running over her but he didn't listen" Papa said trying not to cry. "What can I do to help you?" The therapist asked. Papa slowly turned his head towards the therapist and said "Make me do it" Papa whispered in a demonic tone "Make you do what?" the therapist said nervously. "END ME" Papa screamed while trying to put a hyper realistic gun against his head. The therapist then tried to snatch the gun off of him but it didn't work. Papa then shoot the therapist in the head, hyper realistic brain matter splatted everywhere. "Never mess with Papa" Papa said. It then cut back to the show.

I was sick to my stomach, I wanted to change the channel but I couldn't as the batteries in the remote weren't working. The fourth and final commercial featured Papa in a mental hospital writing "Dolmio day" over and over again. "Why could mama put me in a mental hospital? does she really think she could get away with that? I don't think so" Papa muttered. Papa then turned his head against the camera and said "I've been waiting for you" as he slowly walked towards the camera, I felt my heart pounding. Papa tried to grab the camera, but before he could the screen went to static. It then showed a still image of the dolmio day slogan while audio from a dolmio lasagne kit ad played in reverse. When the audio stopped, the screen cut to black. Suddenly, the power cut out. I could hear the door opening and someone walking into my house. He was muttering to himself "I'm going to get that little dick" it sounded a lot like papa from the commercials I just watched. I then heard someone walking down some stairs muttering "He's not gonna get away with this" I tried to run away but I couldn't, I was paralysed. I felt something breathing on my shoulder. And sure enough, it was Papa himself. And this is what he had to say.

"You look tasty"

He took my shirt off, and began to lick my naked body. He held what seemed to be a pack of condoms in his left hand, and said to me:

"It's all now"

As he proceeded to lick my buttcrack. He put one of the condoms on his dick, and started to hump me like a dog. It was the absolute GREATEST feeling i had ever felt in my life! He shat right on the floor. It looked a lot like chocolate, so i picked it up and ate it. I also managed to drink my own urine, and i touched Papa's humongous dick.

"NOBODY CAN HURT YOU NOW!" He screamed.

He then vanished from existence, and to this day the words stay in my mind.