T.C.B. Fruitcake (This Can't Be Fruitcake)

Image from THE GRATEFUL GIRL COOKS! (same recipe as in Gingerbread Cookie Murder)

## T.C.B. Fruitcake

This is a NO bake recipe.

**Hannah's 1st Note:** *Marge's friend Nancy makes this every Christmas in small, tea bread pans. She loves to watch people's faces when she tells them that it's fruitcake. Nancy says most people hesitate before they reach out to take it. Nancy waits until they do and then she tells them it's not regular fruitcake, that it's more like candy with all the good stuff including marshmallows, graham crackers, and dried fruit, nuts, and coconut.*

**Prepare your pans:** You'll need 8 baby loaf pans. (My pans are stamped 5-3/4 x 3 x 2-1/8 on the bottom.) Line each pan with a piece of plastic wrap that's large enough to overlap the sides and cover the top of the pan when your T.C.B. Fruitcake is inside. Set the pans aside.

Use a very large mixing bowl to make this delicious Christmas treat. If you don't have one, go out and buy a big, disposable, foil turkey roaster and use that. While you're at it, pick up a pair of food service gloves, or even the type of gloves ladies used to put on to wash dishes by hand. You'll be mixing everything with your hands and things will get a little sticky.

Spray your very large mixing bowl or foil turkey roaster with Pam or another nonstick cooking spray.

Measure out all the ingredients except the evaporated milk and the salt, and set them out on your counter. (I measured mine and put them in individual 2-gallon plastic food storage bags - I'm lazy and didn't want to wash an extra 6 bowls.) Nancy say it's best to pre-measure. Then you won't have to stop once you start adding ingredients. Everything will be ready and the mixing process will go lickety-split.

### Ingredients

* 3/4 cup canned evaporated milk (not sweetened condensed milk, not regular milk from the refrigerator, not anything except canned evaporated milk)
* 1 pound miniature marshmallows (that's roughly 10 coups - I used Kraft Jet-Puffed)
* 1 pound crushed graham crackers (You can crush your own or buy graham crackers crumbs - one pound is approximately 4 cups)
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1 pound seedless raisins (Nancy uses a combination of red, black, golden, and jumbo raisins - my store wasn't that well stocked and I ended up using only golden)
* 1 pound mixed dried fruit of your choice (check the weight on the labels and add it up - Nancy's used dried cherries, blueberries, Craisins, and apricots, all cut into small raisin-sized pieces)
* 4 cups of roughly cut unsalted nuts of your choice (I used pecans)
* 4 ounces shredded or flaked coconut (if you chop this into smaller pieces, everyone will like it better)
* Red and green candied cherries to decorate the tops

### Directions

* Scald the milk in a large-size saucepan. This just means that you should heat it almost to boiling over medium-high, stirring constantly so that it won't burn. When it starts to bubble around the edges of the pan, pull it off the heat and turn off the burner.
* Working as fast as you can, add the marshmallows to the hot milk, give a rapid stir, and quickly put a lid on the saucepan. Set your oven timer for 5 minutes. The marshmallows should be melted by then. Don’t lift the lid and peek. Your goal is to keep the heat in so that the marshmallows will melt.
* Place the graham cracker crumbs into the very large mixing bowl or turkey roaster. Add the salt and mix them up.
* This would be a good time to check to see if you've measure all the other ingredients. You'll still have a couple of minutes before the stove timer rings.
* When your timer dings, check the milk and marshmallow mixture. It should be melted. If it isn't and you can't stir it smooth, return it to the burner you used to scald the milk and turn it on "LOW". Stir constantly until the marshmallows and milk make a smooth mixture.
* Using a heat-resistant flexible spatula or a wooden spoon, stir the marshmallow mixture into the mixing bowl with the graham cracker crumbs and the salt. Continue to stir until everything is moistened.
* Here's where things get sticky. It's time to don those rubber or food service gloves you remembered to buy at the store. (Just in case you forgot, you can always butter your hands, or spray them with Pam or another nonstick cooking spray. This will keep the sticky stuff from sticking to your fingers.)
* Add the rest of the ingredients (the raisins, the chopped dried fruit, the chopped nuts, and the coconut) in rapid succession and then get in there with both hands to mix it all up.
* When everything is mixed, press the mixture into your lined loaf pans. Make sure your T.C.B. Fruitcakes are pressed down all the way into the corners and are fairly flat on top. Decorate the tops with candied cherries. Then cover them with the excess plastic wrap.
* As an extra safeguard, wrap each pan with another layer of plastic wrap and then refrigerate the pans.

**Nancy** *says these fruitcakes can be eaten or presented as gifts right after they're thoroughly chilled. They store well for months in an air-tight container in the refrigerator.*

**To wrap a T.C.B. Fruitcake for a gift**, tip the loaf right out of the pan. It will be already covered with plastic wrap, but you can wrap it with another layer or use Christmas wrapping paper. **Dress it up** with a stick-on bow if you want to be fancy. And don't forget to tell your happy recipient that it should be kept refrigerated.

* Serve T.C.B. Fruitcake well chilled. Use a good, heavy-duty knife to cut it into bite-size pieces and everyone will agree it's very rich and good.

**Hannah's 2nd Note:** *If you don't have baby loaf pans, Nancy says you can press the whole mixture into a 9-inch by 13-inch cake pan lined with plastic wrap. (Don't forget to make the piece of plastic  wrap long enough to  also cover the top.) Once the mixture is thoroughly  chilled, you can remove the fruitcake from the pan, wrap it in another layer of plastic wrap, and return it to the refrigerator. To serve, cut it into brownie-sized pieces. It doesn't look like fruitcake that way, but it's equally good!*

**Hannah's 3rd Note:** *Mother thinks I ought to add some miniature chocolate chips to the mixture. I told her I wasn't sure that would work because unbaked, chilled chocolate chips are hard and they might spoil the texture. Of course that didn't stop Mother. Her next suggestion was to melt 2 cups of chocolate chips and add them to the bowl right after I stirred in the marshmallow and milk mixture. I think that'll probably work and I'll try it next Christmas. For a non-dessert maker, Mother has some pretty good ideas.*

## Conversion Charts

See Baking Conversion Chart for non-USA baking conversions.