Episode 233 - Heavy Is the Head That Wears the Crown

## Intro

**Episode description:**
n/a

**Opening Quote:**
Kyle: You've done genocide and this is somehow the worst thing you've done.

**Player introduction:**
Sean: Hello and welcome to another episode of the tabletop champions podcast, I'm Sean your dungeon master and with me tonight we have Stephanie who plays Boone...

Stephanie (in Boone's voice): Ahoy-hoy.

Sean: Lauren who plays Dagna...

Kyle: Oh no.

Matt: Is she already knocked out?

Sean: Uh oh. L-lauren?

Lauren: I'm here, I don't know what's happening.

Sean: Cool. And uh, Matt- Matt who plays Cyrus.

Matt: Look into my eye.

Sean: And, uh, Kyle who plays Cam.

Kyle: Uh, oh man I had a thing and now all this shit happened, so I dunno, what up guys, how you doing?

Sean: Uh, hey guys!

Various: Hi!

Ben: Hi Sean, I'm here too.

## Episode Summary

The party gets up, ready to continue their charade as "the Chosen"232, and realize as they exit the castle that they don't know where to go. They go across the moat to the crowd of giants, where Ragna awaits with a fancy pillow carrying a large gear, a string made of metal, a crown, and a scepter. The string looks like it goes to a musical instrument, so Dagna takes it. Cam takes the crown, Cyrus takes the scepter, and Kallas takes the gear. Ragna also hands each of them a bag with climbing gear. She says the below is a technological wonder, and some of their ancient kin may still be wandering the halls, but they haven't been down there proper in centuries. The last party of small folk came a few hundred years ago. Dagna awkwardly asks where to go, and everyone points at the drop off in the middle of the city. They say goodbye and fly down.

As they fly down, the pit turns out to be a shaft so deep that the sky above becomes a point of light. They encounter a floating clear stone that illuminates a large ice cavern. Some clockwork mechanisms are frozen in the ice, and they see a 50 ft. high **clockwork dragon** blocking a hallway. Dagna spots a door through a foot of ice. She shatters the ice with Shatter, and Kallas disarms a trap on the door before opening it. It leads to a small room with kegs along one wall. Kallas steps inside to investigate, and a **giant keg** with arms, legs, and clockwork eyes bursts through the back wall. He fills a mug with ale from a spigot in his stomach and offers it to Kallas, who gives it to Cyrus. The keg introduces himself as Jale, the giant's ale distributor, brewer, master, drinker, and keg himself. Cam asks how old the ale is, and Jale consults his clockwork arm and says 42 years. Cyrus tries the ale, which is fantastic. Jale calls the dragon Jarls when Dagna asks about it, and is surprised by the ice. Apparently a few years ago the place was filled with steam and clockwork, and the dragon guards the king of the giants, Ulfric. Cam asks about the crown, taking it out. Jale asks how he got Ulfric's crown, to which Cam replies he's the king now, and Jale abruptly leaves.

Kallas figures out that a large cog is missing in the dragon's chest, underneath a scale. Cam puts on the crown and holds the scepter while Kallas puts the gear in place in Jarls' chest. Nothing happens, and Cyrus suggests winding him up with the string. There isn't a place for a string, but Dagna finds a button on his head. When she presses it, the dragon comes to life, sees the party, and becomes very angry. Cam finds himself seeing and acting as the dragon, filled with rage and a desire to kill the party. A fight begins, with the dragon spewing oil, and biting, and punching the party. The rest of the party notice Cam is doing nothing. Cyrus attempts to knock the crown off, but it doesn't budge. Cam also has a death grip on the scepter. Cyrus asks Boone if she can regenerate limbs, but Boone and Dagna want to focus on the dragon. The dragon breathes fire, knocking Dagna and Cyrus unconscious but avoiding hurting Cam. Kallas manages to lift the scale on the dragon's chest, exposing the gear, but Boone fails to pry it out. As they struggle, Cyrus dies. On her second attempt, Boone manages to pry out the gear and deactivate the dragon. Cam returns to himself, aware of what happened. Boone finds Cyrus dead, and wishes for a resurrection spell from her Luck Blade. As it begins to crumble, and light falls onto Cyrus' body, the episode ends.

## Memorable Quotes

**Kyle:** *"I put on the crown and hope that it's not some sort of weird cursed item."*

**Kyle:** *"You said the name was Jarls or Jarvis?"*
**Sean:** *"Jarv- Jarvis is the name of the- the keg guy. Ulfric is the king-"*
**Lauren:** *"You changed his name like six times!"*
**Sean:** *"Oh no sorry, G- Jale. Jarvis is the name of the dragon, Ulfric is the name of the king, yes."*
**Kyle:** *"Okay."*
**Stephanie (laughing):** *"Lauren you're so mad."*
**Sean:** *"It was supposed to be Jarls, but-"*
**Lauren:** *"You said Jarls, and then you said Jarvis."*
**Sean:** *"I know I did, because I- I originally thought Jarvis and I was like 'wait I can't use that name, that's from Iron Man.' And then I was like, then I went back to using Jarvis, so it's Jarvis now."*

**Stephanie:** *"Fuck you Kyle."*
**Kyle:** *"I didn't- listen-"*
**Stephanie:** *"I know, listen, I gotchu."*
**Kyle:** *"I just clicked a button. I didn't doin it. I didn't do it."*
**Stephanie:** *"You clicked bad!"*

**Kyle:** *"You don't want to huck a javelin at me?"*
**Matt:** *"I'm not you."*

**Boone:** *"Luck blade, I wish for a resurrection spell for Cyrus."*

## Trivia

* This episode introduces some new NPCs:
	+ Jale, brewer and keg,
	+ Jarls, massive clockwork dragon,
	+ Ulfric, king of the giants (mentioned only).
* Jale excreting ale made Lauren and Kyle very uncomfortable.
* Kyle rolled really well as the dragon.
* Lauren lost audio just before Dagna took 90 points of damage, which was 22 short of killing her outright.
* Stephanie arbitrarily chose to have fire resistance before this session, which was fortunate.
* Matt rolled a Matt 1 on Cyrus' first death save (giving him 2 out of 3 failures needed to die).
* Jarvis is the name of the butler in Ebreosea from season four.