Detention

**"Detention"** is the second episode of the first season of Slightly Above Average and the second episode overall. It was written by Josh Palmer.

This episode takes place on September 2nd.

### Quotes

CONNER: Wait, you mean the president will decide whether or not we get a popcorn machine in the lunchroom? Or a vending machine next to every classroom? Or a sauna in the bathroom!?

ALICE (whispering): Fred, I’m running for sixth grade class president.

FRED (loudly): REALLY?? THAT’S AWESOME!

MRS. HARRIS: I’m glad the tales of Shakespeare excite you Mr. Roland. But maybe keep your voice down a bit.

FRED: Oh, I wasn’t excited about Shakespeare, I wasn’t even listening!

Liam face palms.

FRED: I think it’s amazing that I got detention!

LIAM: How is it amazing that you got detention?

FRED: I got the slip for one thing, but I heard that the best friends you ever make, you meet in detention!

LIAM: Where did you hear that??

FRED: My sister. She met her two best friends in detention on her first day of school.

ALICE: Sometimes, it’s ridiculous how short some people’s memories can be. Actually, I take it back. It’s Fred we’re talking about.

MRS. HEXLEY: That makes two out of sixteen. That’s a new record. Not even my daughter got hers signed… Come to think of it, that's partially my fault.

ALICE: Once again, we are all just playing Minecraft in this class where we’re supposed to be learning about computer science! I can’t believe I’m wasting time where I could actually be learning something! But… I did find a cat and I named it Whiskers and I love it… but it’s still a waste of time!

MR. TEKIN: I don’t play favorites in my class but… Conner is my favorite.

FRED: Hi, I’m L- Fred. I’m Fred. That is my Liam. I mean name.

APRIL: April.

FRED: It’s September.

APRIL: It’s my name, idiot. April Hexley.

FRED: Oh, hi April… wait, Hexley? Does that mean…

APRIL: Yes, I’m Mrs. Hexley’s daughter.

FRED: Oh, uh, cool. What’s it like to be the daughter of a teacher?

APRIL: It sucks.

FRED: Huh, what brings you here today?

APRIL: Detention, obviously.

FRED: Oh, of course. What are you in detention for?

APRIL: I fell asleep while she was rambling on about some nerd named Snakespear or something.

FRED: Really? Same! Except, not. I was talking to my friend… too loud, I guess.

APRIL: Yeah, I mean, does anyone actually care about stupid Snakespear?

Mrs. Harris walks in.

MRS. HARRIS: Hello, Mr. Roland and Ms. Hexley-

FRED (looks around): Wait, Ms. Hexley isn’t here.

APRIL: I’m Ms. Hexley you idiot.

FRED: Oh, right, of course.

INT. ALPINE MIDDLE SCHOOL HALLWAY

FRED: Didn’t she just say her name was April??

MRS. HARRIS: I mean anything along the lines of an apology.

FRED: You mean like “I’m sorry Mrs. Harris I’ll never do it again and I’m very sorry that I was ever disrespectful and I take full responsibility for my actions.”

MRS. HARRIS: Yes Fred, that would be a perfect apology.

FRED: Well too bad! Because those were empty words! You’ll never get a confession out of me.

Fred picks up a pen from Mrs. Harris’s desk and throws it on the ground. Then he walks away and exits the room.

MRS. HARRIS: You know you can’t just leave detention!

FRED: But hey, at least I’ll see April again.

ALICE: Uh, Fred, just because you have detention for a week, doesn’t mean that April does too.

FRED: No, I talked to her and she said she plans on taking a nap in that class every day.

ALICE: Uh, okay… well… good luck with that I guess. But, you know you can see her in other places than just detention.

FRED: Like where?

April walks by.

APRIL: Hi Fred.

FRED: Hi April!

ALICE: See?

FRED: Huh, I guess you’re right.

MR. FOREMAN: Any students who don’t work themselves to the breaking point get an F for the day. If they take any breaks more than 2.6 seconds, F. If they’re late, F. If they ask me to repeat directions, F. If I don’t like them, F. If they’re not wearing their uniform right, F. If they get so scared of me that they run outside and climb up onto the ceiling of the gym and the fire department has to come and get them down, D-. Yes, it’s happened.

MRS. HUDSON: Okay, April, will you read next?

APRIL: No.

MRS. HUDSON: Sorry, it wasn’t really a question.

APRIL: Oh, well… still no.

MRS. HUDSON: Were you even following along?

APRIL: Nope. I don’t even have a book.

MRS. HUDSON: Oh… well here’s a book, we’re on page 8.

APRIL: I wasn’t asking for a book when I said I didn’t have one.

MRS. HUDSON: Well, you have one now. Turn to page 8 please or I will give you detention.

APRIL: No.

MRS. HUDSON: Ok, then, you have detention tomorrow with Mrs. Harris. Here’s your slip.

APRIL: Great.

FRED: I’m painting a cow.

Alice looks at Fred’s painting.

ALICE: Hm, it looks like a robot.

FRED: Are you kidding me??

MR. HALOWAY: Dang, I forgot how hard it is to remember the names of all the new students in the school. There are 6 Stephens, all spelled differently. Also, another thing. I went on google translate and I feel really bad for this kid. What kind of parents would name their child “I’m a very stupid idiot.”