recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Cigarette Candy

## Cast

* Zach Valenti as Doug Eiffel and Alexander Hilbert

**"Cigarette Candy"** is the fifth episode of the podcast. It was released on 12 September 2014.

## Synopsis

A mysterious illness strikes Eiffel, quickly leaving him out of commission and bedridden. It falls on Dr. Hilbert’s medical expertise to find some way to get the Communications Officer back to full health. But as the days go by, Eiffel begins to suspect that something more sinister is afoot, and starts to question whether Hilbert is curing the disease or causing it. Plus, medicinal lozenges, morbilliform, the full Nick Riviera, swollen glands, and looking on the bright, sunshiny side.

## Plot summary

Doug Eiffel is in a good mood, as Hilbert has created a candy that is nicotine-laced and tastes of cigarettes. Eiffel is consuming them eagerly and in large quantities, much to his delight. However, he has developed a rash and a cough, which Hilbert expresses concern over when he visits to bring more lozenges.

The next day, Eiffel's cough has worsened and he has developed a headache and a fever. Hilbert seems to know something about his condition, which makes Eiffel suspicious, and he accuses Hilbert of making him sick with the lozenges. Eiffel passes out, and Hilbert moves him back to his quarters, attaching him to the bed with restraints. Hilbert refuses to entertain Eiffel's "delusions", but he admits he is a doctor of molecular biology and not bound by the Hippocratic Oath.

Hilbert cuts off the comms system in Eiffel's room, but Eiffel nevertheless attempts to contact Minkowski for help - first through Hera, who is non-responsive, then by tapping directly into the comms system. He also spits out the pills that Hilbert gives him. Hilbert thwarts Eiffel's attempts to leave, and chides Eiffel for his non-compliance, mentioning that he has been administering medicine in Eiffel's food and when he sleeps. He tells Eiffel to rest up, as tomorrow will be "a big day".

Convinced that Hilbert is about to kill him, Eiffel records a final message on his portable recording device. Hilbert enters with a knife, and Eiffel panics, begging for his life, but Hilbert simply cuts his restraints. He informs Eiffel that his fever has broken and he is due to return to work shortly. He blames Eiffel's illness on exposure to virus samples in his lab when Eiffel was treated there after the events of "Cataracts and Hurricanoes" and Eiffel apologizes.

However, after the credits, we hear Hilbert's log stating that the first human trial of Project Decima is now complete, and a second phase will proceed soon.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn
* Recording script
Michaela Swee

**Michaela Swee** is a cast member of Wolf 359 playing Hera and Miranda Pryce.

Michaela was awarded Best Actress in an Ensemble Role in the 2016 and 2017 Audio Verse Awards.

## Cast & Crew Bio

Michaela Swee is a New York City born actor, singer, dancer, and clinical psychology Ph.D. candidate. She is currently in graduate school in Philadelphia studying the nature and treatment of anxiety and emotional disorders. She loves to travel, cook, eat, Zumba, bike, listen to music, and explore quaint New England towns. She sort of has a fantasy of going back to live in colonial times. For like a day. And only to bake bread the old fashioned way.
Cryo-sleep

**Cryo-sleep** is a technology that allows people to put themselves to sleep for long periods of time using cryogenics. Lovelace's shuttle has a cryo-sleep facility which has been used by both Lovelace and Eiffel.

Using cryo-sleep repeatedly over a short period of time can cause permanent tissue damage similar to frostbite, including loss of hair and nails.
Psi-wave regulator

A **psi-wave regulator** is a device that blocks psi-wave radiation within a certain radius. This disrupts the technology of the Dear Listeners, particularly their duplicates.

Kepler, Jacobi and Maxwell spent three months building a psi-wave regulator between Overture and Desperate Times, although this was ultimately unsuccessful. This was intended to reduce the radiation impact of the Contact Event. The Sol is also equipped with a psi-wave regulator.

Psi-waves are not a real scientific phenomenon, but they have been referenced before in Star Trek.
Wifi-equipped analog recorder

A **Wifi-Equipped Analog Recorder** is one example of a speculative technology within *Wolf 359.* It is used in the special episode "Volte Face" by Andrea Nash in order to blackmail Mr. Cutter into giving up company secrets.

The device functions primarily as a typical analog recorder; however, it is also capable of hosting its own wifi network. The name "wifi-equipped analog recorder" is merely descriptive and is not used in the series as such.
Artificial Intelligence

Artificial Intelligence, or AI, is a life form that exists in the Wolf 359 universe. The main form of AI which appears is the Sensus series, which was designed by Miranda Pryce for Goddard Futuristics.

AIs are sentient computer programs, capable of complex thought and emotion, though they are heavily restricted by their program to ensure obedience. Every AI is unique by design, due to an element of randomness implemented in their programming. Due to this, new AIs are tested extensively for months in a lab to determine if they are suitable for service.

Active service units are granted a designation based on mythological figures. AIs mentioned in the series include:

* Hera, the mother program of the Hephaestus.
* Rhea, the former mother program of the Hephaestus during Lovelace's first mission.
* Eris, an "intelligent virus" introduced in Change of Mind.
* Hyperion, the first AI Maxwell meets in Language Mapping.
* Perseus, a decommissioned AI which Maxwell once worked with in Sydney, mentioned in Time to Kill.
* Enlil, the autopilot AI aboard Mr. Cutter's private jet in Volte Face.
Fantastic Max Wikia

## Welcome to the Fantastic Max Wikia

Hey All you Fantastic max fans wanna more info of this cartoon show from Hanna Barbera? Well you see it at Fantastic Max Wiki

1/5
## Describe your topic

Fantastic Max i**s about**a toddler named Max has adventures in outer space with his toys FX and Ab sitter

## Latest activity

Photos and videos are a great way to add visuals to your wiki. Find videos about your topic by exploring Wikia's Video Library.
Mayday

**"Mayday"** is the thirtieth episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 29 February, 2016.

## Episode Description

Mayday. (noun) An international radio distress signal, used to signify a state of emergency on board a craft. Plus, complete operational breakdown, better ways to fly, mathematical realities, an idle mind, and the big blue wrecking ball.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
The Empty Man Cometh

## Cast

* Zach Valenti as Doug Eiffel and Alexander Hilbert
* Emma Sherr-Ziarko as Renée Minkowski
* Michaela Swee as Hera

**"The Empty Man Cometh"** is the ninth episode of the podcast. It was released on 14 November 2014.

## Synopsis

As the Hephaestus begins a hazardous passage through an ion wind cluster, Eiffel is surprised to discover a message from the mission higher-ups waiting for him in the Communications Room. When the decoded message turns out to be a cryptic and unintelligible warning about something only identified as the “Empty Man”, the crew struggles to pick an appropriate course of action. What is Command trying to tell them? And who, or what, is the “Empty Man”? Plus, designation alpha, crazy wamajama, riders on the storm, flying blind, and going Big Bad Wolf on a straw house.

## Plot summary

Hera announces that the station is about to pass through an ion wind cluster. Minkowski is ensuring that Eiffel is adequately prepared when the pulse beacon relay receives a message from Canaveral. The message is nonsensical, but foreboding. The crew are unable to request clarification as the station is only equipped with a receiver, not a transmitter, so return messages take three weeks. While consulting Hilbert, who has no idea about the message, a second message arrives.

Comparing the two messages, the crew realize that each contains a number - first five, and then four - and a warning about "the empty man". They decide to ignore the messages when a third arrives, following the same pattern, with a note that "the empty man hungers". Minkowski decides to double-check the armory while Hilbert double-checks the airlocks to ensure the station is secure.

Three hours later, with the crew armed against possible intruders, strange noises occur on the outside of the station, which they blame on the ion storm. Another message arrives, and Eiffel becomes agitated. When asked to confirm the station's security, Hera admits that she is losing external visibility due to the ion winds, and cannot completely guarantee that the station is secure. Strange noises from the hull begin to make the crew panic, although Minkowski tries to keep everyone calm.

Hera admits that she has lost the connection to aft deck airlock 3, at the same time as another message from command occurs. There is a blackout for a few seconds, and the whole crew panics for several seconds. However, Hera quickly restores power, and a final message arrives from command, confirming that the whole event was a psychological test. Hera confirms that there are no unknown life forms on the station, and the crew, furious at this treatment, plan to send an angry message to command in protest.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn
* Recording script
Happy Endings

**"Happy Endings"** is the thirty-eighth episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 4 September, 2016.

## Episode Description

Preparations are underway to deal with the next contact anomaly from Wolf 359. But the old crew of the Hephaestus is still unsure what preparations they should make to deal with Colonel Kepler and his team, and the divide in strategies is only getting sharper. Hoping to bring an end to the standstill, Dr. Hilbert decides to try a more radical approach, and seek help from an unlikely source. Plus, the Midnight Society, botanical incidents, inane military mantras, perfectly equitable solutions, and a little Easter Egg.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
Pulse beacon relay

The **pulse beacon relay** is a method of communication used by Goddard Futuristics to keep in touch with distant space stations like the Hephaestus. It allows instantaneous communication over long distances, which violates special relativity possibly using the same means as faster-than-light transport.

The Hephaestus is equipped with a pulse beacon relay receiver, but return messages use a slower (although still faster-than-light) messaging system that takes two weeks to arrive back to Earth. There is also a secret transmitter on board, whose existence is only known about by Hilbert until he reveals it in Deep Breaths. The crew are able to use this to communicate in real time with Mr. Cutter.
Cold Turkey

**"Cold Turkey"** is the sixth Mission Mishaps episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 21 November, 2017.

## Episode Description

Mission Mishaps, Entry Six. Hephaestus Log #TRK536. Day five hundred and fifty-three. Eiffel takes the lead on cooking dinner for the crew's second Thanksgiving on the Hephaestus.

## External Links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Fan Transcript.
Memoria

**"Memoria"** is the forty-first episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 19 October, 2016.

## Episode Description

With Hera out of commission, Doctor Maxwell attempts a difficult reconstructive procedure on the unresponsive autopilot program. Before she can even begin, however, she will have to navigate through the shifting landscape of Hera’s memory banks, a task infinitely more complex than it might appear at first glance. Plus, subjective realities, really loud pinball machines, deleted scenes, attempted crew member homicide, and a backdoor into the subconscious.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
The Devil's Plaything

**The Devil's Plaything** is the fifty-seventh episode of the podcast, which was originally released on 3 November 2017. It is the second part of a two-parter, preceded by Idle Hands.

## Episode Description

Part two of two. Newly released from Pryce's mental control, Eiffel works with Lovelace and Hera to try to save the rest of the crew. But as the situation becomes more and more volatile - and as their enemies get more and more suspicious - will the communications officer be able to retain his newfound freedom? Plus, commemorative plaques, security breaches, crossed wires, dexterous digits, and a fireworks show from the perspective of the fireworks.

## External Links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
Alan Rodi

**Alan Rodi** is the composer for Wolf 359. He creates the original music for each episode.

Alan Rodi makes a cameo in the final episode, Brave New World as Earth Space ATC.

Alan was awarded Best Music for an Ongoing Dramatic Production in the 2017 Audio Verse Awards for his track "But How Do We Tell The Children We Are Allergic To Their Smiles.**"**

## Cast & Crew Bio

Alan Rodi is a composer and musician based in Rochester, NY. When not composing, he music directs and accompanies for local musical theater productions.

## Links

* Official Website
* Wolf 359 Soundtrack, Vol. 1
* Wolf 359 Soundtrack, Vol. 2
Zach Valenti

**Zach Valenti** is the co-producer of Wolf 359 and the show's lead actor, primarily playing Eiffel and Hilbert.

Zach was awarded Best Actor in a Leading Role in the 2016 Audio Verse Awards and Best Actor in an Ensemble Role in the 2017 Audio Verse Awards.

## Cast & Crew Bio

Zach Valenti is an artist and entrepreneur based in New York City. He is currently working as a filmmaker, author, voiceover artist, and full-time nerd.

## Links

* Official website
* Twitter
* Tumblr
Into the Depths

**"Into the Depths"** is the forty-seventh episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 12 June, 2017.

## Episode Description

The crew of the Hephaestus's day just got a whole lot worse. The funeral they were holding was interrupted by one of the deceased seemingly coming back to life, their station is being battered by radiation, and Hera has gone offline. And - oh yes - the alien contact event they've been hearing so much about has only just started. It's going to take everything the beleaguered team has to weather the storm, deal with the two enemy prisoners in their midst, and come to grips with what's happened to Captain Lovelace. Plus, a chain reaction, trash duty, cool dental plans, the sacred tradition of "Nose Goes," and why we get into trouble.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official Script.
Happy Holidays

**"Happy Holidays"** is the eighth and final Mission Mishaps episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 24 December, 2017.

## Synopsis

Mission Mishaps, entry eight. SI-5 surveillance log. Entry #CRT004. Maxwell and Jacobi try to talk their way out of a mandatory assignment.

## External Links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Fan Transcript.
Cataracts and Hurricanoes

### Featured music

"Chinese Blues" by Moore and Gardner; "Also Sprach Zarathustra" by Richard Strauss

## Cast

* Zach Valenti as Doug Eiffel and Alexander Hilbert
* Emma Sherr-Ziarko as Renée Minkowski
* Michaela Swee as Hera

**"Cataracts and Hurricanoes"** is the fourth episode of the podcast. It was released on 29 August 2014.

## Synopsis

Eiffel takes a quick trip to the exterior of the Hephaestus in pursuit of a cleaner reading of one of the mysterious space transmissions. Things seem to be going well – until an unexpected stellar flare leaves Eiffel stranded outside of the station. Will Commander Minkowski be willing to launch a dangerous rescue mission to save her communications officer? Plus, air guitar solos, dramatic irony, complimentary electroshock therapy, jetpacks, and the realm of the Alpha and the Omega.

## Plot summary

Doug Eiffel is on a spacewalk to realign the external comms array, while Minkowski monitors from the Comms Room. He manages to clean up the signal on the radio broadcasts, but his mission is cut short by a warning of an imminent solar flare from Wolf 359. This poses a significant risk due to increased radiation levels, so Eiffel begins to make his way inside. However, the storm causes his magnetic boots to malfunction and he begins to float loose from the ship's hull. The comms system also goes offline, leaving Eiffel unable to hear instructions from Minkowski, Hera and Hilbert.

During the flare, Eiffel is temporarily blinded, and is spun away from the station. He is knocked towards the aft deck solar panel, and attempts to grab hold to stabilize himself. This attempt fails and the collision injures him. Shortly after, his tether halts his movement, which stabilizes him at the cost of dislocating his right arm. Minkowski orders him to pull himself up the tether in order to return to the station, but Hera reports that Eiffel's suit was damaged by the collision with the solar panel, leading the water from the cooling system to leak into his suit, and in a few minutes he will drown.

Minkowski begins planning a rescue mission using her propulsion maneuvering unit, despite Hilbert briefly suggesting that they abandon Eiffel. While Minkowski is approaching his position, a second flare warning is issued. After one failed attempt, Minkowski manages to rescue Eiffel just as he loses consciousness. He comes to in Hilbert's lab, having been resuscitated and had his arm relocated. To make him feel better, Hera plays him the recording of the radio broadcast they managed to receive thanks to Eiffel's efforts.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn
* Recording script

## References

1. ↑ Official Wolf 359 website, "Season 1 — Wolf 359". Archived.
Behavioral restraining bolt

A **behavioral restraining bolt** is a piece of Goddard Futuristics neurotechnology invented by Miranda Pryce. It makes a person docile and obedient by "nurturing certain thought patterns and deleting the others".

## Properties

Restraining bolts are controlled remotely through specific radio frequencies.

Duplicate blood negates the effect of the bolt. The concentration necessary to reach this effect is relatively low, as demonstrated by the effects of one syringe each of Lovelace's blood in Minkowski, Eiffel, and Jacobi's systems over the course of "Idle Hands" and "The Devil's Plaything."

## Series Uses

In "A Place for Everything," it was revealed that this technology was initially used on the crew of the Hermes (although they were later upgraded to a more heavy-duty, permanent version.) The technology is then used on Minkowski, Eiffel, and Jacobi.

In "Volte Face," Mr. Cutter asks David Clarke to keep one at the ready in case it would be needed to silence Andrea Nash; however, it is not used.
Desperate Times

**"Desperate Times"** is the forty-fourth episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 6 December, 2016.

## Episode Description

Part one of two. Still reeling from recent revelations, the crew plans to neutralize Colonel Kepler and the SI-5. But it's not long before different factions insist on conflicting ways to overcome their enemies - and about the level of force the situation calls for. Plus, clinical descriptions, war crime fuel, different approaches to weasel-popping, situations of absolutely elephantine proportions, and a lovely set of steak knives.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
Neuro-scanner

A **neuro-scanner** is a piece of advanced technology appearing in Wolf 359. It was likely created by Miranda Pryce for Goddard Futuristics. The neuro-scanner allows the contents of a person's brain to be read as data which can be read, stored and transmitted. This can occur without the person's consent.

The neuro-scanner's appearance is similar to that of a dental chair with surgical-like attachment and a halo around the head. Use of the scanner causes significant pain to the subject.

A scanner was installed on the ship secretly for Hilbert to find, hidden behind a door marked "Open in case of emergencies. Open only when you are alone." Hilbert and Lovelace discovered the neuro-scanner with a hidden message from Cutter in Happy Endings. In Desperate Times, Hilbert considered using the machine, but it is unknown if he went through with it.

Cutter and Pryce brought a neuro-scanner with them on the Sol when they arrived in A Place for Everything. They used this on Eiffel to learn about his encounter with the Dear Listeners. They may have used it on other members of the crew as well, as they subsequently placed Lovelace into the machine. However, the scanner was broken in this attempt because of Lovelace's nature as a duplicate.
Happy to Be of Assistance

**"Happy to Be of Assistance"** is the eighteenth episode of the podcast. It was released on 14 April 2015.

## Episode Description

An unscheduled emergency air vent leaves Eiffel and Minkowski stranded in the station's hidden laboratory. Their attempts to escape from the concealed room are put on hold, however, when they discover a hidden cache of audio logs left behind by Captain Lovelace. Might these recordings hold the key to discovering what happened to the previous crew of Hephaestus? Plus, flashing red lights, lifetimes of the Earth, things that go bump in our nightmares, rats in the wall, and the realm of the remotely possible.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
Painfully Ever After

## Cast

* Zach Valenti as Doug Eiffel and Alexander Hilbert
* Emma Sherr-Ziarko as Renée Minkowski
* Michaela Swee as Hera

**"Painfully Ever After"** is the sixteenth episode of *Wolf 359*. It was released on 13 March 2015.

## Synopsis

Still dealing with the fallout from Hera's deactivation, the crew struggles to keep the rapidly deteriorating Hephaestus functional. Overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, and constantly faced with new mechanical problems, Eiffel and Minkowski can't escape the feeling that they are on the verge of a disastrous mistake. But when the Commander thinks up an unconventional, and possibly dangerous, solution, the exhausted pair must decide whether they are willing to take on yet another deadly risk. Plus, "check engine" lights, dizzy spells, Hitchcock antagonists, Dr. Iscariot, and a brain the size of a mack truck.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
Duplicates

**Duplicates** are a technology of the Dear Listeners. A duplicate is a near-perfect copy of a living being, including its memories. Until the duplication is revealed through other methods, the duplicate will believe it is the original organism.

Duplicates can only be created of organisms when a 'scan' has been performed via the organism being exposed to certain solar radiation, or falling into a star which the Dear Listeners have a connection to. They are sent by the Dear Listeners to gather information about the target species, as all information duplicates see or hear is automatically relayed back to the Dear Listeners.

Duplicates are able to recover from significant injury or death when exposed to solar radiation called psi waves. This process is gradual and similar to a computer 'reboot' as they must reintegrate their knowledge and personality while recovering. The duplicates can also be "possessed" by the Dear Listeners to allow them to directly communicate. These abilities can be blocked using a psi-wave regulator.

Known duplicates include Oswin, Smith and Tate of the Tiamat and Lovelace of the Hephaestus. The crew also encountered a Jacobi duplicate during the episode Time to Kill but refused to allow it entry.
A Place for Everything

"A Place For Everything" is the fifty-fifth episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 2 October, 2017.

## Episode Description

Following Eiffel's sudden disappearance, Minkowski and the crew work overtime to try to locate their missing Communications Officer. But when they instead make contact with Command agents en route to the station, the team must make some very difficult decisions about how to handle this new threat. Plus, hands-on work, very slim chances, the kill squad, participation awards, and the image of God.

## External Links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
Constructive Criticism

**"Constructive Criticism"** is the fifty-second episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 22 August, 2017.

## Episode Description

Following the fiasco that was his latest attempt at radio journalism, Officer Eiffel has retreated away from the crew, working long hours by himself. Things take a turn for the worse, however, when a dangerous gas is accidentally released throughout the station. Quarantined in Hilbert's old lab while Hera works to undo the environmental damage, the crew and their prisoners resorts to increasingly desperate means to stave off boredom, slow-simmering resentments, and Eiffel's growing insecurities about his place on the Hephaestus. Plus, tragic accidents, slight malfunctions, Franken-Nouveau decor, interjection-y glory, and a complete lack of moral compass.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
Captain Bernoulli

**Captain Bernoulli** is the commanding officer aboard the USS Hermes, named after the Bernoulli mathematicians. She has a relaxed, yet authoritative presence, as seen in her short speaking time on-screen, where she jokes around with Officer Jordan during Pictionary, but quickly becomes more official-sounding once the scans from the Contact Event register on the Hermes. In the episode A Place for Everything*,* Minkowski mentions her name and reveals that the two of them had trained together, presumably at Goddard Futuristics, but possibly in the Air Force beforehand as well. Soon after, it is revealed that she and the rest of the Hermes crew are under the control of Doctor Pryce, and that all four of them are effectively brain-dead. In *The Devil's Plaything,* Jacobi jams the frequency that Pryce was using to animate and take control of the Hermes crew, and Bernoulli, along with her colleagues, drops to the floor, apparently out of commission for the rest of the show.

### Appearances

* *Into the Depths*
* *A Place for Everything (mentioned)*
Contact Event

The **Contact Event** is an event on 11 May 2016 when the Dear Listeners make contact with the Hephaestus. The episodes Boléro, Change of Mind and Into the Depths take place during this event.

This event is predicted three months in advance based on the data gathered during the events of Overture, which allows the crew to prepare. Kepler focuses preparations on building a psi-wave regulator, but this is disrupted by the crew's mutiny the day before the event, leaving the station with no defenses against the radiation produced during the event.

The radiation signature of the event resurrects Captain Lovelace, who had been killed the day before. She is then used as an avatar of the Dear Listeners to communicate with Eiffel. During this time, she also removes one of Kepler's hands.
Ariela Rotenberg

**Ariela Rotengold** (credited Ariela Rotenberg) is a member of the *Wolf 359* cast who plays Rachel Young.

## Cast biography

*Ariela Rotenberg is a theater artist and producer currently based in Boulder, CO. She has also worked and performed in NYC. In addition to theater and teaching herself to play the ukulele, Ariela is getting her MA in anthropology. She spends the rest of her time reading, writing, and imagining all the places she'd like to adventure to really soon.*

## References

1. ↑ Official cast biography; Cast & Crew — Wolf 359.
Decima virus

The **Decima virus** (originally named the Koschei Bessmertny Virus) is a manmade retrovirus and the subject of Alexander Hilbert's life work. In its native state it is highly corrosive. It corrupts cellular activity and dissolves vital systems at an accelerated pace. Hilbert attempted to mutate the retrovirus to aid in restoring damage and reverse cellular degradation. Hilbert was unsuccessful in finding this research, and all subjects infected with Decima died, with the exception of Doug Eiffel.

### Early history

Hilbert started Decima as a retrovirus research initiative, supported by the Soviet Union. By 1989, the Soviet government is approaching its end and Hilbert's research is running out of time. He had made little progress and the initiative would be soon over. He is approached by William Carter on behalf of Goddard Futuristics with an offer to defect to America and continue his research. Hilbert takes the job and moves his work, now called Decima, to America under Goddard in 1989.

### Lovelace's mission

Hilbert's research is included in a mission to Wolf 359 under captain Isabel Lovelace. During this mission, Hilbert experiments on both deadly spiders, and the crew members. His intended research subject was Mace Fisher, the mission's engineer who had undergone physical conditioning to better withstand the negative effects of Decima. However, when Fisher is killed in an unpredicted meteor shower, Hilbert is forced to continue his research on Kuan Hui and Sam Lambert instead. Both men die from the virus.

### Minkowski's mission

During Minkowski's mission, Hilbert experiments on Decima through Eiffel, without Eiffel's knowledge. These experiments yield "satisfactory" results, which is seen as a turning point. Bringing the virus out of dormancy causes Eiffel to develop a headache, fever, rash, and a terrible cough. Hilbert treats Eiffel for this with an intravenous solution and by crushing pills into his food.

After an attempted coup, Hilbert is imprisoned and Decima runs unchecked in Eiffel's body. He develops a cough that worsens until Eiffel starts coughing up blood and lung tissue. Eiffel goes into shock and continues to deteriorate rapidly, unable to catch his breath or breathe deeply. Hilbert fixes this by using a dormancy serum, but because of internal bleeding, Eiffel has to receive a blood transfusion from Lovelace.

### End of Decima experimentation

Decima sees its end during Kepler's command of the Hephaestus. Hilbert creates a serum that leaves Decima asymptomatic with minimal treatments. Hilbert tries to restart Decima experimentation but is unsuccessful in doing so.

### References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 Mini Episode "Rebranding"
2. ↑ Episode 15: "What's Up, Doc?"
3. ↑ Episode 10: "Extreme Danger Bug"
4. ↑ Episode 38: "Happy Endings"
5. ↑ Episode 18: "Happy to Be of Assistance"
6. ↑ Episode 14: "The Kumbaya Approach"
7. ↑ Episode 5: "Cigarette Candy"
8. ↑ Episode 25: "Lame-O Superhero Origin Story"
9. ↑ Episode 26 "Do No Harm"
10. ↑ Episode 33: "Don't Poke the Bear"
Specimen 34

## Appearances

**Specimen 34** was the resident mutant plant monster of the Hephaestus station. It was created as a part of Hilbert's experimentation, though how or why is unknown. Prior to Controlled Demolition, it seemed content to keep to itself, living in the air vents and in hidden corners of the ship, but in the past it had demonstrated more violent, confrontational tendencies.

Physically, the plant monster has been described as being very large. It has stems, moss, leaves, and flowers, but also teeth and at least one eye, as well as appendages that could be alternately described as either tentacles or vines. As of "Minkowski Commanding," it also has "retractable spikes. That it can shoot." Additionally, it is apparently capable of entirely detaching entire body parts without the part dying. It is also probably capable of something resembling hypnosis (given its power over Hilbert in "The Sound and the Fury"), although, for whatever reason, it has not attempted to use this ability a while.

## History

Specimen 34 was created in the greenhouse by one of Hilbert's experiments, possibly involving radiation. It began to spread tendrils to nearby plants, which aroused Minkowski's suspicion when she entered the greenhouse to avoid Hilbert's physical examinations. She observed the plant for a while, and realized that it seemed to "play dead" when she entered the room. The specimen subsequently grew rapidly and trapped her in the room, attacking both Minkowski and Eiffel before escaping into the vents.

In The Sound and the Fury, Specimen 34 used some kind of hypnosis or mind control to take over Dr. Hilbert. It attempted to trick Eiffel into telling it the location of the station's fertilizer supply. When he lied, Hilbert grew angry, and began talking about the specimen as "The Blessed Eternal", the most evolved life-form on the station, which would kill and consume all else. Minkowski used halothane gas to knock out Hilbert in order to free him from the plant's control.

It was then killed in Controlled Demolition. Assumably, though it may have survived due too its aforementioned extreme survivability, the fact they could still tell it was the plant monster, and it apparently not requiring food or water, (As inferred by the fact their ration count was never altered,) and the star's anomalous properties.

## Notes

* Dislikes the dark
* Needed a Screwdriver
* Can build nightlights
* Plays a mean game of backgammon

1. ↑ "Discomforts, Pains, and Irregularities"
U.S.S. Tiamat

The **U.S.S. Tiamat** was a space station created by Goddard Aeronautics Company. Its second mission - the company's ninth deep space mission - took place in 1978 around Procyon. During this mission, they made first contact with alien life when three Dear Listeners duplicates arrived on board. This was followed by the arrival of more and more duplicates, which eventually lead Commander Elizabeth Zhang to order the station to self-destruct.
Change of Mind

**"Change of Mind"** is the first special episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 9 June 2017.

## Episode Description

Captain Lovelace, commanding officer of the U.S.S. Hephaestus Station, is not having a great week. She's butting heads with Communications Officer Lambert, her pedantic second-in-command. Doctors Hui and Fourier, her astrophysicists, seem more interested in an upcoming stellar flare than in basic station safety. Her engineer, Fisher, is getting fed up with the constant bickering, and her chief science officer, Doctor Selberg, isn't exactly... dependable. But things really take a turn for the worse when her superiors at Command decide it's time to put her crew through a very special training exercise, one carefully tailored to get under their skin. Lovelace, Lambert, and the rest of the crew must come together if they hope to make it through the longest, strangest, and most dangerous day of their expedition so far. Plus, apoplectic fugue states, emotional decision-making, corporate acid trips, never-before-seen attractions, and work of real substance.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
The Sound and the Fury

## Cast

* Zach Valenti as Doug Eiffel and Alexander Hilbert
* Emma Sherr-Ziarko as Renée Minkowski
* Michaela Swee as Hera

**"The Sound and the Fury"** is the seventh episode of the podcast. It was released on 9 October 2014.

## Episode Description

When Minkowski and Hera get into a fight, Eiffel decides to stay out of the way until the dust settles. But the station’s deadly mutant plant monster stowaway somehow gains control of Doctor Hilbert’s mind, and it soon becomes clear that the crew has an emergency on their hands. Can Eiffel and his dubious interpersonal relationship skills patch things up between the Commander and the operating system before something goes disastrously wrong? Plus, Olympic obstinacy, wire-tapping, the peril-o-meter, mustard, and Doug’s Swiss Ass.

## Plot summary

Eiffel is listening to an argument between Hera and Minkowski immediately outside the Comms Room that has lasted for over two hours. Eiffel distracts himself with reading the station calendar, and then is interrupted by a comms call from Hilbert, who has been searching for Specimen 34. Hilbert is acting strangely, and when he asks for the location of the fertilizer, Eiffel lies and sends him to the observation deck instead.

Minkowski suddenly enters, revealing the cause of the argument: after the recent power outage, she asked Hera to give her reports on the station's automatic functions, and Hera refused. Eiffel attempts to bring her attention to the situation with Hilbert, but Minkowski is too distracted by the argument to listen. She demands Eiffel take a side, and he eventually agrees with her to shut her up, and Hera cuts in, revealing she has been listening. Eiffel is caught in the middle and, in attempt to please them both, instead upsets them both.

With Minkowski and Hera distracted by arguing again, Hilbert calls on the comms and reveals that he is being controlled by "The Blessed Eternal". Eiffel loses patience with the argument, and in his anger accidentally insults them both. The two of them turn on Eiffel instead, and in response he calls them "childish" and "petty". Hilbert begins speaking in praise of The Blessed Eternal over the main comms, and Minkowski and Hera decide to take him out with the halothane gas in the vents. Eiffel is ordered to stay in the Comms Room for future punishment.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn
* Recording script
Sam Lambert

**Samuel "Sam" Lambert** was Lovelace's stuffy, by-the-book second-in-command and the Hephaestus' communications officer. He was known for being a stickler for the rules but also quick-minded and good in a crisis. He and Captain Lovelace had an intense rivalry that was a source of conflict on the station and frustrated the other crew members.

Lambert and Hui both died from the Decima Virus experimentation.

## Trivia

* Most likely named after Johann Heinrich Lambert, an 18th century Swiss polymath who made major contributions to the fields of mathematics, physics, astronomy, and philosophy.

## References

1. ↑ http://personalinsanitymoment.tumblr.com/post/134075248693/do-you-have-the-birthdays-of-lovelaces-crew-if
2. ↑ https://static1.squarespace.com/static/54b2fadfe4b09dfd24afc55d/t/5adfb778352f536ee5876d61/1524610939347/W359\_4X\_RS.pdf
Idle Hands

**Idle Hands** is the fifty-sixth episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 31 October, 2017. It is the first part of a two-parter, concluded in The Devil's Plaything.

## Episode Description

Part one of two. With the crew brainwashed into doing their bidding and Hera forced to comply with her creator's wishes, Pryce and Cutter seem to be in complete control of the Hephaestus. But when a a small flaw in their plan and an unexpected opportunity present themselves, will Lovelace be able to fight back against Command and their agents? Plus, small island nations, friendly faces, new recurring nightmares, ice cream scoopers, and slow, painful, entirely avoidable deaths.

## External Links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
SI-5

The **SI-5** (Strategic Intelligence Division, Section 5) is the black operations division of Goddard Futuristics. The unit is composed of Goddard's "top men," hand-picked by Director of Intelligence Warren Kepler. The SI-5 reports directly to the Director of Communications, Marcus Cutter.

## Members

* Colonel Warren Kepler (Director of Intelligence, head of SI-5)
* Daniel Jacobi (administrative officer, demolitions expert)
* Doctor Alana Maxwell (artificial intelligence specialist)
* Major Richard Littlewood (former, previous Director of Intelligence)
Rank

**Rank** is the position a person holds in the military hierarchy. In Wolf 359, the employees of Goddard Futuristics are organized under a paramilitary structure. It is likely modeled after the United States Air Force or Navy given the nature of the Goddard space program.

In the cases of hires directly from the Air Force, employees retained their Air Force rank within the Goddard structure.

## Non-Military Personnel

Some Goddard employees do not hold any military rank, and are instead addressed by civilian titles such as "Mr." or "Dr.". These crew members may not have military training - for instance, Dr. Hilbert is not weapons-trained.

Although these personnel hold no official rank, they may still have a place in the chain of command. Dr. Hilbert outranks Officer Eiffel as Commander Minkowski's second in command, despite holding no military rank. They may also hold officer-styled posts such as Chief Science Officer, a post held by both Dr. Hilbert and Dr. Maxwell. Higher-ranking personnel within Goddard Futuristics may hold Director positions, such as Director of Communications, held by Mr. Cutter.

Non-military personnel include:

 Mr. Daniel Jacobi, Second in command
 Dr. Victoire Fourier, Science Officer
 Dr. Clarke, psychologist

## Officer

Officer is the preferred form of address for non-ranking military crew-members. This does not correspond exactly to any real-world military hierarchy, but it may be equivalent to the rank of warrant officer or petty officer.

The officer title is usually specialized to an employee's assignment, such as Science Officer, Communications Officer, and Navigations Officer. Most members of the crew will have an officer title, though non-military or higher ranking persons are rarely referred to by this title.

Officers include:

## Sergeant

Sergeant is a low-ranking command position. The only character known to hold this rank is Sergeant Finlay of the U.S.S. Valkyrie .

## Lieutenant

Lieutenant is a mid-level command rank. If an individual of this rank is mission commander, they are addressed as Lieutenant Commander.

Lieutenants include:

## Captain

Captain is a mid-level command rank, generally above that of Lieutenant.

Captains include:

## Major

Major is a high-level command rank.

Majors include Major Richard Littlewood, former Director of Intelligence for the Special Projects division of Goddard Futuristics.

## Colonel

Colonel is the highest named rank featured on the show. The only character known to hold this rank is Colonel Warren Kepler, current Director of Intelligence for the Special Projects division.

## Commander

Commander is a special rank awarded to whoever is currently in command of the mission. This is usually the highest-ranking officer.

Mission commanders include:
Don't Poke the Bear

**"Don't Poke the Bear"** is the thirty-third episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 27 April, 2016.

## Episode Description

Seeking to prevent another unforeseen Decima outbreak, Eiffel and Hilbert run tests to determine the status of the virus inside the Communication Officer's body. The two men are forced to deal with an unexpected complication, however, when Colonel Kepler decides he wants to sit in on the proceedings. And when Captain Lovelace tries to break into the SI-5's private archive, she receives help from an unexpected source. Plus, brute force, the Medical Mystery Tour, Personal Moron Taxes, wacky misunderstandings, and the farthest point past the bottom of any food chain.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
Crash and Burn

**Crash and Burn** is the 59th episode of the podcast, which was originally released on 30 November 2017.

## Episode Description

Trapped with Kepler and Pryce on board a jettisoned pod from the Sol, Eiffel and Minkowski must find a way to avoid all manner of imminent death. Before too long, a delicate truce has been struck, as both sides try to find a way out of their predicament. But how long can a fragile ceasefire last in such a volatile situation? And will their respective allies on the Hephaestus come to the rescue... or throw yet another monkey-wrench into the proceedings? Plus, signature looks, Chinny-Chin-Chins, limited vocabularies, very motivational singing, and the "Life Ruiner of the Year" competition!

## External Links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol

**"Deep Space Survival Procedure and Protocol"** is the first live special episode of the podcast. It was performed on December 19th, 2015, and originally released online 31 March 2016.

## Episode Description

Recorded Live at the Alchemical Theatre Laboratory in New York City! It’s been a rough few months for Communications Officer Doug Eiffel. He’s dealt with plant monsters, the reappearance of a not-so-presumed-dead captain, and a supervirus still chilling in his circulatory system. But he’s about to face his biggest challenge yet: when a mysterious noise from the comms console causes the crew to question his abilities, will Eiffel be able to solve the mystery, keep his sanity, and get everyone else to cut him some slack? Plus, normal weird signals, voodoo pulled pork, all of the air bubbles, and the importance of chit-chat.

## Image Gallery

* Live show announcement poster
1/1
All Things Considered

**"All Things Considered"** is the thirty-ninth episode of the podcast. It was originally released on 19 September, 2016.

## Episode Description

After a technical mishap causes Jacobi's latest experimental gizmo to discharge within the Urania, a number of the SI-5's personal items are vented into space. A furious Colonel Kepler assembles everyone who was involved, hell bent on determining which of his underlings is at fault. But when Minkowski, Jacobi, and Eiffel each present wildly different accounts of the event, he and Captain Lovelace discover that determining the why, the how, the when, and the who is responsible for this snafu might be trickier than it first appears. Plus, willful destruction of property, outright libel, Thunderdome, excellent opportunities for science, and Exit 101.

## Trivia

* Much of the yelling going on in Jacobi and Eiffel's version of events was improvised by Zach Valenti, Emma Sherr-Ziarko, and Noah Masur. The full audio of their over-the-top performances can be heard on Wolf 359's website as "Out of the Frying Pan."

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
Mutually Assured Destruction

**"Mutually Assured Destruction"** is the twenty-second episode of the podcast, and the last episode of the first half of season two. It was released on 9 June 2015.

## Episode Description

The crew is shocked by the sudden reappearance of Captain Lovelace. At first relieved to have another ally on board the Hephaestus, Eiffel, Minkowski, and Hera soon grow suspicious of the station's former commanding officer. Is the newcomer really who she claims, or is another devious scheme afoot? And when Minkowski realizes they might have a way to escape the Hephaestus, can she and Eiffel trust Captain Lovelace with their plan? Plus, Voight-Kampff kits, sucky-ass casas, Wonkavators, Barney sensors, and the Twilight Zone.

## External links

* Listen on Libsyn.
* Official script.
Lovelace's shuttle

**Lovelace's Shuttle** is an unnamed shuttle built by Captain Lovelace and her crew to escape the Hephaestus after Goddard Futuristics stopped contact with them.

Shuttle construction took the crew over a hundred days. One major obstacle was creating a power source for the shuttle, which was eventually solved when Dr. Fourier was able to repurpose one of the station's VX-3 nuclear engines for the shuttle. She disappeared shortly afterwards, causing Lovelace to suspect that Dr. Selberg was sabotaging their escape attempt. Lovelace attacked Selberg, and left in the shuttle alone. After setting a course back to Earth, she put herself into cryo-sleep. However, the shuttle likely suffered a malfunction which caused it to fall into Wolf 359.

Three years later, a perfect replica of Lovelace and her shuttle reappears near the Hephaestus and docks. The ship is significantly damaged, and Lovelace threatens to detonate a bomb attached to the nuclear power core unless the crew help her repair it. Shortly after they succeed, Wolf 359 suddenly changes into a blue dwarf, placing the station in peril due to increased gravitational pull. Eiffel uses the shuttle, still docked to the ship, to help stabilize the Hephaestus and move it away from the star. The extreme force breaks the shuttle loose, and puts some of its systems offline. When Lovelace's bomb explodes shortly afterwards, it blasts the shuttle further into deep space, out of range of the Hephaestus.

Eiffel survives on the shuttle for 193 days by using the cryo-sleep facilities to stretch out the limited rations and water available. He periodically sends out distress calls, in which he gives the shuttle a variety of names including U.S.S. Reliant Robin, U.S.S. Pontiac Aztek, U.S.S. Ford Excursion, U.S.S. Deathtrap, U.S.S. Piece of Crap and U.S.S. Horrible Unending Nightmare. Eventually he is rescued by the Urania under the command of Warren Kepler, leaving the shuttle abandoned in deep space.

## References

1. ↑ *Wolf 359* episode 22: "Mutually Assured Destruction."
2. ↑ *Wolf 359* episode 28: "Who's There?."
3. ↑ *Wolf 359* episode 30: "Mayday."