If I'm being honest with myself...

"If I'm being honest with myself..." is a phrase uttered often throughout multiple *The Unexpected Podcast* episodes. For many characters, it's in a moment of self-reflection, while for others it's part of a confession to other characters.

Honesty is a major thread throughout many episodes. While being honest with oneself is a common sentiment, there are a variety of ways characters express the need to remain honest. Examples include: "To be honest...", "If I'm being honest...", "To be quite honest...", and "Honestly...".

The first instance of "If I'm being honest with myself..." can be heard in Ep. 2, "Field of Screams".

## Ep. 2, "Field of Screams"

While looking for his lost baseball, Cody enters a nearby woods. As he's listing off the various things that frighten him, he takes a moment to reflect on how it's all affecting him.

*"Wow. It’s so dark all of a sudden. And it sounds like lots of creatures live here, too. Jeez...so many trees, never noticed them all before...and all these leaves on the ground...who knows what they could be hiding? ...I better find it soon, Ben is probably wondering what’s taking so long...but these woods are so dense, and...**if I’m being honest with myself**...kind of spooky!"*

## Ep. 5, "My Mayor is a Monster!"

After Mayor Elbert is revealed to be a monster, he confesses to the boys about where he truly comes from.

*"I’m an alien from the planet Zuggdar. I came here to analyze Earth, but in the end...well, **if I’m being honest with myself**...you humans truly impressed me with how you all worked together and achieved great things."*

## Ep. 6, "The Terrifying Tale of Tom Foolery"

In two separate instances, Joe makes his case for honesty. The first is during an encounter with his wife, Shaelynn, when they're discussing their recent separation.

*"Shealynn, I have to be **honest with myself**. I just really need to think things over for a while."*

The second occasion is during Joe's narration to his captive audience, where he reflects on his dead wife's offer to kill Brad for him.

*"It was an offer I couldn’t refuse. An offer that, **if I’m being honest with myself**, I was waiting to hear. I hung up the phone and found Brad alone in the break room."*

## Ep. 7, "Be Careful What You Fish For"

Leon, having trouble coping with the fact that he's at his father-in-law's cabin, a man who tormented and bullied him, utters the phrase while contending with the fact that he's about to become a father himself.

*"Yeah, I guess so…I can’t believe next month we’re going to be parents. **If I’m being honest with myself**, I’m almost as scared of being a father as I was of yours."*

## Ep. 8, "This American Knife"

Paul the intern is confronted by a hostile Ivan Ife about using the show concept of "knifes" for an episode of his show, Average American Tales. Paul admits it was his idea.

***"If I’m being honest**, Mr. Ife, it was actually all my idea.*

## Ep. 9, "The Dead Man's Dead Man's Hand"

During his narration, James regretfully discusses how he should've stopped his reckless friend Ray from playing cards so he could take care of his wife, updating the phrase with a common parlance of his region.

*Now, **if I reckon I’m being honest with myself**, what I’d wanted to say to ol’ Ray was that he oughtta go on and get back to that old lady he won’t talk about.*