In The Flesh

BEHOLD THE MODERN PROMETHEUS! We return to the pinnacle of the Switchblades, where the mad goblitect/Flesh Titan Brian Fuck stomps madly among the thatched roofs and freed peoples of Ruleshaven. Just when ya need a magical Bell of Rules there's never one around. Ain't that the way? Or could there be some other way? A price paid in flesh of course...but whose?

## Summary

Brian Fuck’s giant flesh abomination rampages through the city demanding his payment: a jaw and a hand from the party that wronged him. Frederick attempts to reason with him but Brian Fuck launches a stream of goblins at him. Cordelia casts her new spell Hunger of Hadar, opening a void between the goblins and the party that slaughters them while they make their escape. A voice from the sewers urges them to follow and they duck down a manhole after them.

They are welcomed by Ramona Didi and The Ruleshaven Liberation Army, a band of freedom fighters attempting to reclaim Ruleshaven for Ruleshaven (the original one pronounced “rule shaven.” They escort them through the sewer system of the city and lead them to Tiny James, the cook they met in the kitchen of Jurisdiction. The rebels caught him trying to escape in the chaos and he confesses to being the one bringing Brian Fuck the corpses he used for experiments. He says that breaking the belltower undid every rule, allowing him to rise as he pleased. Knowing what is coming, Tiny James bites into his poisonous tongue and dies. Stirfry collects his jaw and hands, proposing that this may comply with Brian Fuck’s needs.

The party briefly strategizes before rushing off to Ulcer Anatomies’ shop. They climb out of his toilet and are shocked to find his hollowed-out skin. De Bonesby determines that the Witch Hunter struck an arcane deal with him, which Ulcer willingly broke to spare them. This within the confines of the original laws since it was consented to through the magic. They loot the store for anything that seems useful, gathering spell scrolls, a portable hole, and a magical turtle that swaps peoples’ bodies when they smell it. Stirfry finds a potion that will let him speak again but only for a few minutes and in a new voice.

Bellow goes through the scrolls and finds a specific spell Enhugen. He races outside and casts it on himself, growing into a giant to match Brian Fuck’s size. He fails a Wisdom saving throw, losing most of his intelligence in the process. Cordelia responds by grabbing the body-swapping turtle and convinces Bellow to pick her up. Bellow misses the point and swallows her, but she forces the turtle into his nostril. They trade bodies and Cordelia starts to battle Brian Fuck’s flesh titan with Bellow’s giant body and magic.

Albee becomes hopeless in her exhaustion and confusion, tearing off one of her antlers hoping to offer it to Brian Fuck as suitable repayment. Bellow (in Cordelia’s body) picks her up as smaller goblins pour out of the giant. Stirfry pelts them with random potion bottles and Frederick goes through Fireball scrolls before Albee pleads with Stirfry to bring Brian Fuck her antler. He loads it into his crossbow and climbs up Bellow’s body while Hot Roddy arrives to drunkenly let loose on Cordelia/Bellow. Stifry shoots a bundle of Albee's antler and Tiny James’ body parts into the mech. The arrow hits Brian Fuck in the head and he seems convinced that all of the parts came from Albee. He still demands to be compensated for the hundreds of goblins he used up fighting with them, leaving the fight unresolved. Cordelia becomes fed up and punches him directly rather than fighting his flesh mech, crushing him and crumbling the mech into panicking flaming goblins. Cordelia uses Bellow’s Wildshape powers to turn back into his normal self and the two exchange bodies.

Tired and spent, nearby locals cheer that the Witch Hunters have arrived. Black carriages circle the town while more approach them directly. Cordelia simply shouts for the party to run.

## Quotes

“Albee salutes the toilet.” -Carly Monardo

“Hmm. Smelly episode.” -Branson Reese

“Yo, Stirfry orgasms.” Tim Platt

“The tall are naturally wise and intelligent and charismatic.” -Branson Reese

## Links

* https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/in-the-flesh