Obscured Phrases

Over the course of the show, there are a small handful of times when either Mark, Bob, or Wade slipped and said something so unbelievably offensive and disgusting, that it had to be censored. Due to the facts that Mark most certainly doesn't have the original recordings anymore, many years have passed since these phrases were spoken, and everyone who heard those phrases was well and truly inebriated at those times, the sad truth is that we will likely never find out for sure what these phrases were.

## Episode #17: WHAT DID MARKIPLIER SAY?

After Bob leaves the Skype call halfway through the episode to attend to real life matters, Mark and Wade devolve into roleplaying as Shane and Rick from The Walking Dead, respectively, and occasionally talking dirty to each other through references to Walking Dead. Throughout this, Mark is working on reconstructing a part of their farm that got blown up in an explosion, and asks Zombie for a diamond hoe to till the farm, which Zombie obliges by giving him a Diamond Hoe with *Aqua Affinity,* an enchantment that allows the hoe's user to spawn water with it. Shortly after, Mark is attacked by a creeper, which opens up a hole in the ground into a cave. Wade accidentally falls into this hole and dies from fall damage, causing him to drop all his items in the cave, which would have been easy to retrieve, were it not for a pool of water spawned from Mark's hoe, that washed the items away. In regards to this, Mark says something rather suspicious about his hoe's abilities, so much so that it headlined the episode.

*(Mark is standing in the doorway of their house, looking in at Wade, while a creeper sneaks up on him from the outside.)*
**Mark: Mind if I take-** *(He turns around and comes face-to-face with the creeper-)* **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHH!!!**
**Wade: ... The heck? What the heck?**
**Mark: ... I might have screamed a bit too loud on that one!**
**Wade: I thought you actually died!**
**Mark: A creeper just popped up right in front of me-**
*(Wade falls into the hole and dies.)*
**Wade: AAAAAAHHH!**
**Mark: Hahahahahaha... You died! Aww, that's fantastic! I love that so much! I love that so much. I love that so-**
*(Mark accidentally creates a puddle of water with his hoe.)*
**Mark: Aw, water everywhere! Oops, I gotta stop using this hoe. I have a door, heh. Oh, god, this...**
**Wade: Why is there water down here, I can't pick up my stuff.**
**Mark: Because I accidentally spawned water with my hoe.**
**Wade: Pfff.**
**Mark: Pf.**

**Rick: You probably do very often.**
**Shane: I know. I know. My hoe- *(Bleep that lasts around 1.85 seconds-)* PfffppPFPFFPFF-**
**Wade: Aww. Whooaaa.**
**Mark: Whoahoahoa...**
**Wade: Whoa, really?**
**Mark: Whoa, wh- sorry- I'mnna bleep that out in post.**
**Wade: WOOOWWWWW.**
**Mark: I'm gonna bleep- I'm seriously gonna go back and bleep that out, cause that was-**
**Wade: You better bleep that out, that was just unnecessary.**
**Mark: That was BAD, that was really bad, if all of you listening now, you don't know what I said, because I bleeped it out-**
**Wade: IT'S FOR THE BEST, BELIEVE ME.**
**Mark: It's for the best!**
**Wade: Nobody needed to hear that, including me.**
**Mark: NO-ONE. No-one needed to hear that, that was-**
**Wade: I wasn't ready for that.**
**Mark: That was so bad!**
**Wade: Wow...**
*(Mark's still giggling about it when something explodes, and the conversation side tracks.)*
*Ending at 24:37.*

## Episode #51: SUPER SMASHED BROS

After having thoroughly broken the Smash Bros. map they were supposed to play in the episode, the trio get transported to a realm with a huge, glitched out, grassy ravine to explore. At one point, Wade is gifted the ability to jump really high up into the air, something which he dubs "Spider-Man powers." Eventually, after the sun has set and rain has begun to fall, Zombie decides to begins spawning in chickens from the sky to entertain them, which after some taunting from Wade, turns into creepers from the sky. Once the place is partially blown up by creeper explosions, Mark asks Zombie to blow everything up, saying that this episode has gone awry. He refers to this as the end of the world, and in the camaraderie of the apocalypse, Mark gets to saying some rather nasty little thing, and in the discussion that kicks up after, Wade repeats the censored phrase from Episode #17.

*(Mark is taking a long sip of his drink, while Wade aimlessly jumps around using his Spider-Man powers in the rain and through the various explosions, and Bob sits around stuck in the code of the profoundly broken Smash Bros map.)*
**Mark: Aaaaauughh...** *(He puts his mug down.)*
**Wade: Aw, we are survivors, Mark! Of the apocalypse!**
**Mark: It's still apocalypsing, so, hug me as we die.**
**Wade: Ok.** *(He comes up close to Mark.)*

**Mark: Wade, I love you. Wade. Wade, I love your- *(Mark's speech is obscured by three consecutive bleeps, lasting around 0.36 seconds each. The brief gap between the first and second bleep is 0.13 seconds long, and the second gap is 0.26 seconds. Through these gaps, something can be heard about either "Sucking in my" or "Fucking in my-")* No.**
**Wade: I'm a spider.**
**Mark: ... I'm gonna cut it off there. That'll be the end of it- No wait, no, there will be one more, I didn't cut it there!**
*(Wade is just laughing from the hilarity of the situation, while Mark is walking by a pile of TNT.)*
**Mark: I'm just gonna censor it! I'm gonna censor it again-** *(The TNT goes off-)* **Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!**
**Wade: Nooo!**
**Bob: ... Is that what you said last time?**
**Mark: No...**
*(Bob, in turn, also begins laughing at the hilarity of the situation, Mark joining in a second later.)*
**Mark: No-one's gonna know what I said besides Wade.**
**Bob: I d- I still don't actually know what you said in that episode cause I never heard it!**
**Mark: I know! I know!**

**Wade: Hey, if I say it right now, will you censor it again?**
**Mark: Yes, I will, say it, Wade, say it Wade-**
*(Wade's speech is bleeped for a split second before the episode abruptly cuts to the outro card.)*
*Ending at 20:57.*

## Episode #55: HEXXIT

At one point, after a brief moment where they get to discussing necrophilia, Mark asks Bob what the worst thing he's ever done is, which he eventually claims to be playing video games all day instead of doing something nice for Mandy, such as writing her a poem. He then tries to come up with a poem on the spot, but first, he checks in with Mark to absolutely make sure that he is going to censor it in post, to which he agrees. Upon reading a bit from this impromptu poem, they all break into laughter, as Mark makes a note to remember to bleep it out later. Throughout the rest of the episode, they occasionally allude back to this moment and its sheer, unknowable morbidity.

*(Mark and Bob are on their way to mine into the side of a mountain when Wade comes along wearing a golden chestplate he got earlier when he rescued Mark from a skeleton.)*
**Mark: Wait, where did you get that chest piece? Wade.**
**Wade: Killing the skeleton.**
**Mark: Awhh, I was supposed to kill the skellington! I- I- I w- Loosened him up for you.**
**Bob: Ew...**
*(Mark and Bob simultaneously burst into laughter.)*
**Bob: God!**
**Mark: Not like that! Not that...**
**Bob: That's horrifying.**
**Mark: Shut up, Bob, no, no, no, no!**
**Bob: Look at that skill, look at that skill.** *(Referring to the parkour skills it took to climb the mountain.)*
**Wade: And now we've fallen as dark as necrophilia jokes.**
**Mark: Hahahaha! Oh yeah, necrophilia is not the worst we've gone to.**
**Wade: Oh god! JOKES, necrophilia *jokes!***
**Mark: Kyehe- Not- Not like- No, I mean, yeah!** *(He clears his throat very deliberately.)*
**Wade: Hahahah, oh god...**
**Mark: ... Bob, what's the worst thing you've ever done?**
**Bob: N- Hah, I'm not saying that on...** *(While still mining, he finds a vein of iron.)* **Iron! Look, iron!**
**Mark: Iron? Yeah!**
**Bob: Quick, let's stop talking about that.**
**Mark: Yuh. Anyway, worst thing you've ever done, hmmn? ...**
**Bob: Hahahahaha... I- I, honestly, I don't do horrible things usually, mostly I play viedo games.**
**Mark: Yeah. Okay, yeah, I could see that.**
**Bob: I mean, the worst- the worst thing I've ever done has probably been something really mean to Mandy, which is, you know, thas's... There's lots of stuff that I've done that's really mean.**
**Mark: Aww...**
**Bob: You know, for- playing video games for nine hours instead of... writing her a poem, or...**
**Mark: Aww, I get it. Aww, that's so sweet! Awww!**
**Bob: That's my answer.**
**Mark: Hahahaha... Y- You**
**Wade: ... You wrote a poem, that was the meanest thing you've ever done?**
**Mark: No, not wr- not writing-**
**Bob: No. Wade, good listening skills, Wade!**
**Mark: It was a REALLY mean poem, Wade!**
**Wade: I was climbing a mountain!**
*(A bit of three-way laughter...)*
**Bob: Roses are red, violets are blue...**
**Mark: To me, you're-**
**Bob: Mark, you're gonna have to bleep the rest of this poem out.**
**Mark: Hahaha! Wait, go ahead and say it, say it.**
**Bob: I ca-**
**Mark: Go ahead, say somethin'. Say somethin'.**
**Bob: You have to promise to bleep it.**
**Wade: Aaaaagh, I've awoken the skeleton army!** *(Ignored.)*
**Mark: I will bleep- I will bleep it aaalllll out.**
**Bob: Are- are you sure? Cause I can't, I can't be on video saying this.**
**Mark: I will bleep- I will bleep it and censor your face. I will bleep it and say your f- silen- or, uh- cover your face. I will- just say it.**
**Bob: Cover my face? Why would you c-**

**Mark: Yeah, with a, with a- No, with a big censor bar, just your lips. And no-one, no-one will ever know what you said.**
**Bob: Oh, okay... I'm gonna s- *(Bleep that lasts 3 seconds, during which Mark begins laughing-)* then... hahAHAHAH-**
*(More hytserical laughter from Mark and Bob.)*
**Bob: I d- that's, that's the only part you need to know... Is that- you HAVE to bleep it!**
**Mark: I will bleep it! I gotta wr- I gotta remember to bleep it! Depending on how trashed I get before we end this.**
**Wade: I don't even know the context to that phrase! ... That was- that was something else.**
**Bob: That- So that- that's, pretty mean, right?**
**Mark: That was, ye- No- Eh- That was pretty mean.**
**Wade: I don't even know if I could take that seriously if someone told me that.**
**Mark: Wade, I gotta... Wade, I gotta get out of here, I'm in this mine with... Alone with Bob.**
**Bob: I wish I- I wish I had a torch, Mark, do you have any torches?**
**Mark: Umm, I didn't get any coal while I was actually down there...**
**Bob: I have coal, I hadn't used it for anything-**
**Wade: Guuuuyyyyssss!**
**Mark: What?**
**Wade: The skeleton army is after me!**
**Mark: What are you do- Wade, we were peacefully making a mine and you were off making enemies with a skeleton army. *Y- you know what they're gonna do to you, Wade?***
**Bob: Hahah-**
**Wade: Nooooooo!**
*Ending at 16:52.*