Goblins

When one thinks of goblins, they often imagine irritating louts who love nothing more than having fun at the expense of others. While this is often the case, the life and history of the goblins is far more complex and nuanced than one would think.

## Goblin History

At some point in prehistory, a group of Elves separated from the majority. They rejected the standards of their peers and embraced Nitphil, becoming something in between a cult and a touring party. Withdrawing from Elven culture, they moved Underground. This move would not last forever. Within this sect, tensions grew between two rival philosophies. When the tensions became too high, the group suffered a schism. The faction devoted to following Nitphil’s chaos to the letter of their God stayed underground. The faction who took a more liberal approach to Nitphil’s message returned above ground. However, the other races rejected their libertine ways and these goblins retreated from society at large, engaging in their own forms of magic and politics.

Goblins also have a long historic feud with dwarves, which only came to an end within[time]. According to goblin histories, they lived under a Dwarven Karak, much further down than their Dwarven neighbours. However, the Dwarves were not satisfied with their home territory, and dug deeper into the mountain, some might say too deep, destroying the goblin’s intricate cave systems. Thankfully, the goblins managed to escape relatively unharmed, although their homes and cherished moss farms were destroyed. In hopes of some compassion, they approached the grand gates of the Karak, in order to ask for food and shelter as recompense for the destruction. However, they were only met with steel and flame. The Dwarves charged the helpless goblins, cutting them left, right, and centre, showing the goblins that the destruction of their homes had been no mere accident, but a planned attack. Thus, the Dwarvern-Goblin war began. As the battle raged underground, the risk of subsidence on the surface increased, and began to affect plant life on the surface, which the goblins felt very bad about because the plants were entirely innocent in this situation. Finally a peace treaty was negotiated, although a lot of tension remained. Due to the predominantly short goblin lifespan, most living goblins don’t recall the tragedies of the war.

## Goblin Society

Goblins have lived primarily in the Western areas of Asaterra since before it’s formation. However, they often resided in different settlements to humans and other races, due to cultural differences and misunderstandings. Many were distrustful of them due to their chaotic nature, and they were often prevented from integrating in mainstream society. However, during the second Asaterran civil war, they were taken in by the group known today as the ‘true Ishallians’ and accepted into Western society after their homes were threatened by the conflict. This ended up benefiting both parties, as the goblins had excellent knowledge of the surrounding swamplands.

There are two separate goblin cultures; The Ground Dwellers and The Sky Watchers. They are two splinter groups that separate after a schism. The Sky Watchers now reside on the surface, whereas the Ground Dwellers live underground.

### The Ground Dwellers

The Ground Dwellers are the more traditional of the two goblin cultures, and they predominantly dwell in their own cities deep under Asaterra, although they will emerge for trade, and some have even been known to live on the surface for a time. They govern their lives by strict and convoluted rules, the extent of which no one outside their culture seems to know or comprehend. Their days, hours and smallest routines are dictated by their cultural rules, down to the way they eat, sleep and converse. The rules are so complex that no one really knows how many there are and which ones are real. However, anyone who has ever been tempted to insist that the Ground Dwellers are messing with them do not end up in good shape; the Ground Dwellers are incredibly proud of their traditions, and woe betide anyone who they perceive as mocking them.

### The Sky Watchers

In contrast to the Ground Dwellers, the Sky Watchers have a more laissez faire response to life. To them, life is a game and death is the outcome; either succumbing to it or defeating it in order to play another round of chaotic games. The concept of ownership is one that the Sky Watchers are only just coming to terms with; they don’t *mean* to antagonise any of the non-goblins; that was never their intention! They just want others to have fun with them! They are, however, now doing their best to follow the laws of Asaterra, viewing them as the rulebook for the game at hand.

Sky Watchers will adopt non-goblins into their troupe, but non-goblins tend not to be able to keep up with the pace of goblin life. Goblin mushroom consumption has been pointed to as a particular problem for non-goblin races trying to engage in goblin culture. It has been theorised that goblins have developed a unique digestive system to cope with the vast quantities of mushrooms, alcohol, and hallucinogens they ingest.

### Goblin Families

**CORENTYNE meaning hurricane, tempest**

**SYBALD meaning bold victory**

**VALTO meaning ruler.**

**TIMOFEI meaning to honor Nitphil**

**FRITIGERN, meaning spear of peace.**

**PARASKEVE meaning preparation.**

**HALFDAN: meaning *A goblin who was half the size of Dan, a famously tall goblin***

**TALLWCH: meaning *Not Tall At All***

**ABEOWAN meaning to rub off**

**DeSLUDGE: the DeSludge family live in the biggest swamp of all the swamps**

**WANDROO:**

**TERRROBEY: (the third ‘r’ is important) (pronounced like terror bay)**

**NIFFELLEGINGER: (pronounced ‘near’)**

**WAWCHER: (pronounced wawker)**

Once a year, the heads of all the Sky Watcher families meet in an undisclosed location to decide who becomes the Overgoblin for the next heptade. It is unknown to non-goblins how this decision is made, only that Nitphil is involved.

Meanwhile, the head of the Grounddweller families, the Undergoblin,  is chosen by what can only be assumed to be another series of complicated rules that dictate their families lives.

## Appearance

The appearance of goblins is quite varied, ranging from goblins who look like green tinged elves to small, entirely green creatures with what appears to be moss growing in various places. One thing that is consistent is some kind of shade of green. This can range from a slight green tinge, to entire areas of their skin being mottled green, to some goblins who are green all over. All goblins have pointed ears, however these can range in size from tiny discrete points to ears several inches long. All goblins have very fragile skin which needs a lot of moisture, which is why you most commonly find goblins in wetlands and deltas. They much prefer freshwater to salt however, as apparently the latter makes them ‘crispy’.

The appearance of Ground Dweller and Sky Watcher goblins differ slightly in terms of aesthetic. Ground Dwellers often have more green in their complexion, and their style is slightly more attuned to nature. They dress and groom themselves according to their strict rules. Sky Watchers tend to be a bit more eclectic in their appearance, in that they tend to wear whatever they find aesthetically pleasing. This often includes shiny items, glitter and odds and ends they’ve picked up here, there and everywhere. Many of them augment their appearances with magic for fun, often colloquially called ‘glamours’.

## Goblin Culture

Goblins normally have a lifespan of approximately thirty years, with a few rare exceptions. No one can really explain why, but when some goblins reach their thirties they almost seem to forget to die, and just keep going. One theory as to the reason behind this is that goblins can’t be bothered to actually count their age and just give an extremely highball or lowball number. Another is that goblins just can’t count; however this has been disputed by several goblins who insist that while they *can*, it just goes against their principles.

Unlike the rest of Ásaterra, which uses meters and centimetres, goblins measure in a unit called a ‘Dan’. No goblin can quite decide how big a Dan is, but all agree that it’s a pretty big unit, being broken down into half-Dan’s and quarter-Dans. The origin of this unit was a famously tall goblin called Dan, who could reach things from high shelves, including the Good Biscuits and shiny things. After Dan died, all goblins agreed that a Dan was a unit of measurement. In modern goblin society (both aboveground and underground), referring to something as *a Dan* can also mean a minor annoyance or something you don’t have the facilities for, big man.

As a further note, ‘big man’ or ‘big folk’ is as close as goblins get to an honorific for non-goblins.

Goblins enjoy a vast variety of food, but tend to avoid salt, as it can be a bit uncomfortable for them to consume because of the amount of moisture they need. A lot of traditional goblin dishes contain a large amount of sugar; a popular meal is fried mushrooms sprinkled with this substance.

## Goblins & Religion

Although like the rest of Asaterra, goblins are free to worship whichever deities they like, many of them choose to worship Nitphil, deity of Chaos. This decision is one of the reasons that many goblins did not integrate with mainstream asterran society for a long time, as Nitphil worship, though not outlawed, is often frowned upon. Recently, however, Nitphil worshippers have become more common- or at least less secretive, and it has grown more accepted in society, although some still treat it with suspicion. It is thought that some goblins also have gods of their own, outside the traditional pantheon, but their names are not known to any non-goblins as they are a private part of goblin culture.