2020 Power Rankings-Week 9

## Introduction

Week eight of 2020 will forever be remembered as the week things got really, really windy. Scoring was way down as teams struggled to find an offensive rhythm as across the country wind...blew. But when all the best teams are yanked down into the dredges of hell that is the 150-180 scoring range, all the squam people flourish. The Garoppoblow Me's and the momma's of the world thrive. As it was, the first place team lost and the last place team won. And the league is once again up for grabs.

## Stat Chat

* Paddock 9's 7-game streak of games over 200 points is a franchise record and tied with Duck Punchers for the 5th-longest streak of all-time.
* Shotti is in last place for just the 2nd week in their entire franchise history.
* The winner of Paddock 9 vs. Stupid Idiots has broken 260 in each of their last five matchups.
* Pain Train becomes the 5th team to break 200 in 70 regular season games.

## Matchup Recaps

* Ma ma momma said pulls a major upset against Duck Punchers, blowing the hunt for the Commissioner's Cup wide open in the process (4-12). **Next Matchup:** **N/A**
* Paddock 9 defeats The Stupid Idiots in their first showdown since the 2019 quarterfinals (4-3). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Pain Train sweeps the season series against Papa's Posse (10-8). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* RIPDab posts one of the lowest scores ever by a winning team, but it is more than enough to defeat a Sweet Dee team that has now lost three of their last four (10-3). **Next Matchup:** **N/A**
* GBM fails to break 200 against The Shotti Bunch for the first time since 2015, but their lackluster performance is still enough to take down the flailing 4x champ (6-9). **Next Matchup: N/A**

## Trade Tracker

Starts:

* Mixon: 1
* CEH: 3

Player average coming back down to earth for Pain Train after a lackluster performance for CEH, but momma needs to get Mixon back before we can truly assess this situation.

Starts (Pain Train):

* Metcalf: 3

Starts (Sweet Dee)

* Chark: 3
* Kelley: 1
* Slayton: 3

Guessing Sweet Dee would have benefited from those 54 points in their 38.48-point loss this week.

Pregnancy brain is a crazy thing.

Starts:

* Freeman: 3
* Miller: 1

## Absolute Standings

I admit the absolute standings are a bit self-serving, but I also think they clue us in to which teams are performing strongly this season. After a slow start, Paddock 9 has moved up from a 1-3 start to a 4-4 absolute record through eight weeks. Signs point to an upward trend similar to last season.

Elsewhere, Sweet Dee's 4-0 absolute start gave way to a 1-3 performance in her last four games. This tracks precisely with her real record and it appears that the downward trend from 1st to 4th in Absolute and 1st to 5th in reality is a telling/scary sign for the team.

The Stupid Idiots, meanwhile, is the beneficiary of an increasingly easy record and the reality is they do not possess a strong enough time to make a run. But they do have an inside track at a playoff spot.

## He Likes to Move It Move It

Doing my usual website updating this week, I stumbled across a really weird statistical anomaly that had me going back all the way to 2011 to confirm. Take a very long, detailed look at this chart and let me know what sticks out to you. There are three things that caught my eye, let's see what you see:

Updated Through the 2019 Season

Now the first thing is obvious. How about Pat with one roster move in 2013? Yes, this has been confirmed by our sources. It was a dark time in Pat's life, so we forgive him for that. But amazingly, this team still went 5-8 that season and only missed playoffs by one win (they owned the potential point tie-breaker with 6th seeded IAMGROOT).

The second thing that stuck out to me is 24 combined moves from Papa's Posse from 2011-2015. Now the chart is wrong because the 2011 season isn't where it is supposed to be, but I left it because I like the visual of those four seasons clumped together.

The third thing, which I am assuming most missed, is the most interesting to me. Take a look at Jared's history of roster moves. I'll wait.

Dude, what? The most moves you've ever made in a season is 23? You have to scoll halfway down this list to get to momma's first line. That is BANANAS to me. So far this season they have 16 moves, tying their 2019 total and beating out five other seasons.

Paddock 9, meanwhile, is on his usual bull shit. He's already at 35 moves, enough for 15th most all-time with half a sesaon to go.

## The Greatest Game - Week Eight

This season, week eight was not great, and across the history of the league there have not been many matchups to write home about. But there is one that stuck out among the rest.

### 2013 - Papa's Posse vs. Sweet Dee

* Final Score: 203.04-197.74
* Why it's Nominated: A week after one of the most controversial trades ever, Papa snaps an historic 7-game losing streak, handing an L to a Sweet Dee team who would soon also have a 7-game losing streak.

Stop me if you've heard this one before: Sweet Dee is involved in a trade controversy.

On October 10th, 2013, a trade went down that is reminiscent of the recent CEH/Mixon trade between Momma and Pain Train. Papa sent Owen Daniels to Sweet Dee in exchange for Kendall Wright. Unbeknownst to either team at the time of accepting, Owen Daniels had torn his ACL. Learning of this, Sweet Dee of course cried foul and Commish used executive power to veto the trade. There was some back-and-forth about how Papa had known about the injury and was trying to pull a fast one, which of course was seen as an insult to Papa because turns out he's not conniving he's just not really paying attention.

Flash forward a week and these two teams met up with tensions still high. Papa had yet to win a game in 2013 and had tied the record for the longest losing streak to start a season (7 games). That record still holds today.

The week started with Cam Newton dropping 41.80 points on Thursday night for Papa, only for Colin Kaepernick to erase the lead Sunday afternoon with 41.95 of his own for Sweet Dee.

Elsewhere in the lineup, Papa rolled out a potent combo of New England D (46 points) and Wes Welker (23.10) while Sweet Dee countered with Dez Bryant (30.33) and Reggie Bush (32.50). Wright did not play in the game as he was on a bye.

Papa's Posse pulled ahead in the late window when old friend Larry Fitzgerald scored 15.80 points and Matt Bryant kicked the Posse 10 points further into the lead.

Dee tried to mount a comeback with Tavon Austin on Monday night but his 86 return yards and 2 rec for 11 yards were not enough to completely close the gap.

By snapping their 7-game losing streak, Papa handed Sweet Dee the 4th loss in what would soon become a 7-game losing streak of her own.

The two would meet again in the consolation tournament, a game Sweet Dee would handily win.

## Power Rankings

This week we elected a new leader of the nation. Regardless of your political affiliation, I think we can all agree Donald Trump was a fucking dick and a complete idiot. Personally I'm glad to see him go. But it did get me to thinking: who is the leader of your fantasy team? The captain of your vessel, guiding your ship to a 'ship?

I am also starting magic numbers. This week, your magic number represents how many wins you need to guarantee a playoff spot. In this case, 7 wins is what will guarantee you a spot, even though Yahoo may not recognize you as having clinched were you to reach that threshold.

### 1(1). Duck Punchers

* Magic Number: 1

* Team Captain: James White

White may not be a statistical juggernaut like Wilson or Lockett, but he is the heart and soul of the team. After the tragic passing of his father, the rest of the squad cannot help but go out there every weekend and fight for him.

### 2(2). Paddock 9

* Magic Number: 2
* Team Captain: Travis Kelce

Kelce is clearly the heartbeat of the team, the loud mouth on the sidelines getting his players pumped up. In losses, he takes the blame. In victories, he lets others have the glory. He has also been the first to welcome Josh Jacobs to the squad and make him feel at home. Scotty Miller used to be the captain until he got cut.

### 3(4). Pain Train

* Magic Number: 2
* Team Captain: Davante Adams

The guy that has been with the team the longest, Adams is also the squads greatest asset. Even when he misses games, he manages to pick the team up. Adams has played in two straight Glory Bowls with Pain Train and is trying their best to make it to a third.

### 4(3). RIPDab

* Magic Number: 3
* Team Captain: Mecole Hardman

Hardman is the ultimate locker room guy. And by that I mean every time Nate leaves him in the locker room he balls out, and any time he actually puts him in a lineup he sucks.

### 5(5). The Stupid Idiots

* Magic Number: 3
* Team Captain: Terry McLaurin

It's not just that Terry is a good leader, it's that I'm pretty sure he's the only active player who has been with this team all season. His keepers are in the scrap heap trying to heal and most other players have turned into busts. Someone needs to bring consistency to this team.

### 6(8). Garoppoblow Me

* Magic Number: 5
* Team Captain: Travis Fulgham

A rare instance of a captain being a late addition to the team, GBM's roster had zero heart. No determination. No will to win. No fight left. Then came Fulgham, a miracle from the heavens (actually just a dumb trade by Paddock 9). He gave this team the spark they needed to snap a huge losing streak, and hopefully that leads to bigger and better things (like back-to-back wins for once).

### 7(6). Ma ma momma said

* Magic Number: 2
* Team Captain: Cooper Kupp

Kupp came over in a trade from GBM several years ago and has been the most consistant player for momma ever since. He is known as "the football nerd" in several circles as he possesses such a high football IQ. It's hard to say a bad thing about Kupp and the players on this team love going to battle with him. That's good, because with Kittle and Gaskin out they need a fearless leader.

### 8(7). Sweet Dee

* Magic Number: 2
* Team Captain: Robby Anderson

At a time when they badly need an ally, old Jets wide receiver Robby Anderson has stepped up to the plate. He has been a great late round surprise and he has helped keep Sweet Dee afloat during a rough patch in their season.

### 9(8). Papa's Posse

* Magic Number: 5
* Team Captain: Cole Beasely

One of those guys who always finds his way back to the Posse, Beasely is just a grinder flex guy who inspires the top of the lineup to do better.

### 10(10). The Shotti Bunch

* Magic Number: 5
* Team Captain: Marvin Jones Jr.

In a season where most of Shotti's players have come from other teams like he is some sort of scavenger living in a Mad Max dystopia trying to build a death vehicle, Marvin Jones Jr. coming home is a nice story to lift the team's spirits. Marvin Jones Jr. was an integral part of the Shotti Dynasty in the mid-2010's, and his best days may be behind him. But he has come back to a starting roll for The Shotti Bunch here in a lost season.

## Matchup of the Week - RIP vs. TDP

The two top scoring teams in the LOC this season are Duck Punchers and RIPDab. Though they find themselves at 4-4, RIP has just as much a chance at a bye spot as Duck Punchers after DP blew a tire against Momma in week eight. RIPDab's entire team goes during the day today, at which point Duck will have Ronald Jones (SNF) and Jamison Crowder (MNF). Crowder is "expected to be" but not guaranteed to be active tomorrow night vs. the Patriots, but it looks like that is a risk Duck is willing to take. There is no immunity idol in THIS league for the first place Duck, so he will have to bring his best if he wants to avoid his first losing streak of 2020.