Jack Thaddeus

**Jack Thaddeus** was a worker at 4-Cent\_Garbage Center Towers and the gay lover of Clyde Cash. He was best known for his work in the advertisement business, having helped Christian Weston Chandler win the election back in the day, in spite of his then shaky reputation after having been impersonated for several years. Due to the huge sucess of his business, Jack acquired offices in 4-Cent, and his business became one of the more prominent companies based there. He later became the majority shareholder of FOXHOUND; Jason Kendrick Howell's business and the company that owned 4-Cent. While he has no natural superpowers, he is a good speaker and a snappy dresser. For his sexuality and association with Clyde, he also became an enemy of Ian Brandon Anderson. He later became one of the founding members of the CPLF.

## Biography

### 4-Cent Under Fire

In Issue #5E, Jack was among those who stayed at the top of the building with Count Graduon and the others to coordinate the defense. After they lost Jason and Captain Bagget however, Mary Lee Walsh released the Plautistic, who pinned the attacking Sonichu against the wall of the Towers. Jack and Clyde then went outside the building to finish him whilst he was down, with Jack riding a Goblin Glider and Clyde armed with two webshooters. They failed their mission however, as Jack was knocked off of his glider by Sonichu, and had to be saved by Clyde. Sonichu then hijacked the glider and cut through the Plautistic, as well as knocking Joshua Martinez into the tower again whilst doing so.

Glider lost, Jack had to call a retreat, and he and Clyde went back to the top floor and regrouped with Mary, CADD Chef and Michael Snyder, to prepare for evac. Michael told them that due to power limitations, he could only teleport people out two at a time. Clyde and Jack were the first to be evacuated.

### Timeskipped

Clyde and Jack appeared again in Issue #6, where they were seen playing a game of Mod Nation on the Xbox 360 at the Molvanian stronghold to where they were evacuated. Jack disliked the game. In the middle of their play-through, however, Princess Julie interrupted them, along with Asperchu and Jivin. Julie then asked them why they had not contacted the others back in CWCVille in months, to which Jack replied that they had only been away for 48 hours. Julie asked them if the same thing had happened to Wes Iseli or Michael Snyder. Jack replied that Michael had gone back to his shop after the evacuation and that Wes Iseli had left with a friend to go do something else. They wondered why they had been missing time and decided that the best thing to do is to return to CWCVille. Jack pondered about how much things have changed in their absence, and Jivin promised to fill them in on the details. After discovering that Crackder had vanished without a trace, they decided to take Julie's Megazord back to the city. They asked about a destination, and decided to go to Michael Snyder's store, the Brass Dragon, at Asperchu's suggestion.

### Reunion

At the store, they met up with Christian and Max. Chris and Jack greeted each other like old friends, and Jack asked what happened with the Mayor and Sonichu, since he was out of the loop. He learned that the Mayor had been defeated, and that Christian had no idea about Sonichu. He then broke the news to him, and found out that Michael Snyder didn't know about Sonichu's involvement either, on account of leaving to go back to the Dragon before Jack could tell him. Their talk was cut short however, when the alarm went off, due to Asperchu trying to burgle the store.

### Discovery

Later, Chris, Clyde, and Jack bade farewell to Michael and left the Brass Dragon. Chris wondered what to do about Sonichu, and Jack suggested they talk about it over dinner, since Clyde was hungry. Clyde then spotted Wes Iseli, however, so they went over to help him up. Chris asked Wes what he was doing there and where he had been, but Wes said he did not remember. Jack told him that he left the HQ with a purple Sonichu who looked like Magi-Chan, and Chris was then confronted by Metal Asperchu, who 'Archived' him too. Suspecting that there was a connection between all the mysterious circumstances, they went to the Pickles Family Cucumber Farm to talk to Princess Julie. She told them that she didn't know anything, but also suspected a connection. Max, who was also there, then told them that he and Asperchu had a similar experience with Metal earlier that day, so Julie called Asperchu to come over. Asperchu was unhelpful, though, failing to provide answers.

### vs. Metal Asperchu

As this happened, though, Chris received a call from Simonchu, who told him that CWCVille was under attack from Metal. Christian then went to confront him, and told Metal that he was to stop immediately. This left Metal confused and he told Chris that it was illogical to impede his directives, since he was one of 'the chosen'. Not wishing to harm Christian, he decided to distract him, blasting off Aspercream's leg. This provoked Noir Chu to react as well, and he was also shot. Deciding that enough was enough, Max, Jivin, Clyde, Jack, Princess Julie, and Simonchu leapt into action, but found themselves to be no match for their metallic foe. Christian also stepped up with his knife, but both he and Wes Iseli were also subdued and held by Metal Asperchu, who explained that he was there to fulfill the 'Anchuent Prophecy', which he was designed to fulfill. Christian, apparently knowing what he was talking about, called Metal Asperchu a bastardization of the prophecy, only causing pain and misery. Metal Asperchu responded that it was lucky that he stopped collecting the Chaos Pickles, since it would have made the prophecy impossible to fulfill. He also told them that the seventh 'prophesied person' was underneath 4-Cent. Before Metal Asperchu could explain everything, however, Grandpa Alzheichu leapt into the air and stabbed Metal Asperchu through his back with Christian's knife. Metal went haywire for a moment, before exploding in a big ball of fire. Christian and Wes Li fell to the ground unharmed, and the Chaos Pickles swirled around in the air for a moment, before flying away in all directions and scattering across the land. Christian and Mayorshack Tito took a moment to remember Alzheichu, while Asperchu began to worry about paying his Gamestop credit card.

### Witness

Jack was later called up as a defence witness at Asperchu's trial. Here is what he had to say:

*He's a lazy fatass who takes credit for others' work and demands to be cared for like a baby. He's also probably largely responsible for whatever fucked up Sonichu, but that's just an educated guess.*