recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Asmodai

> *"DID SOMEONE JUST SAY 'MURDER ANYONE VIOLENTLY'?!"*
>
>

**Asmodai** is the Master of Repentance of the Dark Angels.

## Official Canon

Asmodai is the most obsessed with capturing the Fallen among his brethren, taking great pains to find them and great pleasure in getting them to repent. He is also extremely strict with his duties as chaplain, discouraging laughter and punishing tardiness, threatening officers when he doesn't get his way, even costing them victories and angering allies to chase rumors of Fallen. He has also only succeeded in making two Fallen repent.

Nonetheless, Azrael keeps Asmodai around because there's no one more relentless at tracking down Fallen.

## TTS Canon

Asmodai is even more unstable, as he will automatically interpret "repent" as "murder as violently as possible." He is extremely rabid and is foaming with rage (or murderous excitement) at all times.

He also seems to have a silly side, in pestering Azrael, by repeatedly asking if 'they were there yet,' on their travels to Orior, even as they were right above it. Azrael responded with growing irritation at him and his 'references' (presumably to either Nappa from Dragon Ball Z Abridged, or to the Simpsons, though how he'd know is unknown).

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 Episode 23: A Hairy Conundrum
2. ↑ Episode 20: You're Green With It!
3. ↑ Episode 22: Change
4. Episode 28: Custodian Hustle
Clancy

> *"I just... I really want to kill a Primarch!"*
>
>

**Clancy** is an Imperial Navy menial of the Imperial cruiser *Marbo's Glutes*. He is the main antagonist of the BRO TRIP 40,000: A Tale of Two Primarchs spin off.

## TTS Canon

Clancy is a very polite and well-liked servant who was aboard the Imperial cruiser carrying Vulkan and Corvus Corax. However, he betrayed everybody by crashing the ship, stating that it was always his dream to kill a Primarch. When most of the crew survived, including himself, he was nearly executed, until he revealed that his friends in orbit were about to drop an Exterminatus missile on the planet that they were on. During the confusion, Clancy managed to escape.

It is possible that Clancy is an agent of Chaos, though this is unclear. Clancy insists that he serves no one. Instead, he appears to easily befriend anyone he encounters and manipulating them into doing his bidding; he was even able to get the Jopallian planetary governor, Lance Cashpants, on his side with a mere BBQ sauce sandwich, then use his newfound power to ensure that Vulkan would die of his infection by preventing the Astartes from obtaining medical treatment.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 Episode 2: Attilan Assault
2. ↑ Episode 3: Jopallian Japes
Sisters of Battle

The **Sisters of Battle** are the military wing of the **Adepta Sororitas**, itself a branch of the Ecclesiarchy. The Sororitas are an all-female religious organization that further the interests of the Imperial state religion. They were originally an obscure religious sect called the Daughters of the Emperor, before being recruited by Goge Vandire to be his personal bodyguards. After the reformation of the Ecclesiarchy under Sebastian Thor, the Ecclesiarchy was banned from having *men* under arms; the Sororitas were kept around as, being all-female, were exempt from this prohibition.

As an army, the Sororitas focus primarily on purging heretics, and are often called upon to support various military campaigns or, more commonly, to serve as the frontline troops of the Inquisition's Ordo Hereticus. They are between Space Marines and Imperial Guardsmen in terms of effectiveness, using their own versions of power armor and bolters, and favoring flamer and melta weapons. They have a unique advantage in combat, in that their faith in the Emperor grants them minor miracles. This is most strongly embodied in the Living Saints, devout followers of the Emperor who have been granted some of his power in order to rally Imperial forces and strike down the Imperium's foes.

## TTS Canon

Upon the Emperor's declaration that the Ecclesiarchy was to be disbanded and that he was not to be worshiped as a God, the Sisters who were not already exiled into the Warp fell under a collective depression and started drinking heavily. The Emperor ordered them to return to their duties, and promised to send them pinup calendars featuring his glorious golden pecs as incentive.

The Sisters also have an unfortunate tendency to be killed by Grey Knights and have their blood smeared all over their armor, oftentimes for no reason at all.

## Characters

* Alicia Dominica
* Miriael Sabathiel (formerly, now devoted to Chaos)
* Ephrael Stern
* Saint Celestine
* Canoness Albia Thorne

## References

1. ↑ Episode 18.5: Atrocious Answers
2. ↑ Episode 4: The Inquisition
3. ↑ Episode 19: Warp Grumbling
Angron

**Angron** is the Primarch of the World Eaters, and twelfth son of the Emperor.

## Official Canon

When Angron arrived on his homeworld, he suffered severe head trauma; those who found him implanted devices known as "Butcher's Nails" into his brain and made him into a gladiatorial slave to fight for their amusement. The nails delivered constant pain unless he was neck-deep in violence and gore. Desperate to free himself and his fellow gladiators, Angron lead a slave rebellion that threw the world into chaos, until his army was finally beaten back and was about to be slaughtered.

It was at this time that the Emperor found Angron. Angron refused to go with his father, as he preferred to die with his men than watch them get slaughtered. The Emperor ignored his wishes and teleported him off planet. The Emperor could do nothing about his nails, as removing them would lead to a very messy death. The Emperor tried to give command of the World Eaters to Angron, but Angron killed every captain that met with him until cool-headed Kharn convinced him to lead them. Angron would be used to punish non-compliant worlds, as the savagery of his legion would leave none alive.

### Horus Heresy

Angron sided with Horus from the start, still furious with his father. Angron would rescue his brother Lorgar by knocking over a Warhound Titan that attempted to step on him. Lorgar would return the favor by transforming Angron into a Daemon Prince of Khorne.

### Later History

Angron personally lead the First War of Armageddon, a massive land battle where he and a large combined force of Daemons and Chaos Space Marines attempted to destroy the hive world Armageddon. It took massive numbers of Imperial forces to finally banish him back into the Warp.

## TTS Canon

The Emperor stated that "Angron was constantly mad. Like, extremely, earth-shatteringly, unreasonably fuck-ass mad. Probably because he had those fucking nails in his brain."

During the podcast session in The Last Church, Rogal Dorn revealed that surprisingly, Angron highly enjoyed watching sitcoms.

## Gallery

Angron's standard cutout, by NostalgiaAngron's angry cutout
Black Library

**The Black Library** is a location that is monumentally important to the Eldar. It contains their collective knowledge about Chaos, and thus is widely sought after by both those seeking to stop Chaos, and those who seek to be empowered by it. Hidden within the Eldar Webway, it is virtually impossible to reach for any outsider. The library is protected by the Eldar god Cegorach and his Harlequins. They rarely ever let outsiders into the library; one such example is Ephrael Stern, a Sister of Battle fused with anti-Daemon power. One person in particular, Ahzek Ahriman, has made it his life’s goal to find the Black Library and use it’s knowledge to become all-powerful.

The Black Library is *also* the name of Games Workshop’s publishing arm, with the vast majority of its novels published under that name.

## TTS Canon

TTS has merged the two concepts together by having the real world Black Library’s books appear in the fictional one. The Webway portal in the Imperial Palace leads directly to the Black Library, allowing Custodisi and Wamuudes to take said books and read them to the Emperor. This is the premise for the If The Emperor Had a Podcast show.
BRO TRIP 40,000: A Tale of Two Primarchs

**BRO TRIP 40,000: A Tale of Two Primarchs** is a spin-off series to *If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device*, staring Vulkan and Corvus Corax as they make their way to Holy Terra. Along the way, they stop at various planets where they get introduced to various local cultures and famed Imperial Guard regiments. The series was introduced in Episode 25: Fiery Family Reunion.

The show has its own Spin-off called WarHams, a Tabletop RPG game series set within the BRO TRIP crusade.

## Episodes

* Episode 1: Catachan Capers
* Episode 2: Attilan Assault
* Episode 3: Jopallian Japes
Episode 2: Attilan Assault

**Episode 2: Attilan Assault** is the second episode of BRO TRIP 40,000: A Tale of Two Primarchs.

## Characters

* Vulkan
* Corvus Corax
* Tu'Shan
* He'Stan
* Kayvaan Shrike
* Kadus
* Colonel 'Iron Hand' Straken
* Gunnery Sergeant ‘Stonetooth’ Harker
* King of Khanasan
* Mogul Kamir
* Clancy
* Starass
* Astropath Sassafras
* Navy Admiral
* Attilan Rough Riders
* Random Ship Personnel
Dark Mechanicus

The **Dark Mechanicus** is the Chaos-aligned counterpart to the Adeptus Mechanicus. While they were once ordinary Tech-Priests and Enginseers, for one reason or another, they now serve as the principle arms suppliers for the forces of Chaos. While some members may have joined by being corrupted like any other would-be follower of chaos, as had the original Fabricator-General of Mars during the Horus Heresy, many others were first exiled from the Adeptus Mechanicus for committing Tech-Heresy, and find working for the Dark Mechanicus more liberating.

Instead of worshiping the Machine-God as the Adeptus Mechanicus understands it, they instead identify their god in Chaos Undivided. They readily use warp-based weaponry and frequently create daemon engines by binding daemons to machinery. They also have entire legions of traitor Titans and Knights at their disposal.

The Dark Mechanicus is not well fleshed out in official lore apart from a few characters and tabletop units, and haven't spent much time outside of the Eye of Terror, so they aren't covered extensively in TTS either. Like their loyalist counterparts, they are overtly sexual about their love for technology, but they take it in a far more extreme direction by making crotch-guns.

## References

1. ↑ Episode 27: A Cat to Yarn, A Bird to Folly
Felinids

**Felinids** are a minor race of abhumans in Warhammer 40k.

## Official Canon

Felinids are a race of abhumans from the planet of Carlos McConnell. This is the full extent of canon information about them.

## TTS Canon

In TTS, a group of Guardsmen make contact with the planet, with several of them excited to "see some catlady action," believing the Felinids to be a race of catgirls. When the Felinids' diplomat arrives, the guardsmen look on in horror, as it is a housecat with a human head and speaking in creepy, halting voice similar to that of a cat attempting to speak human language.

The Emperor decreed to have Felinids be among the mutant "transfer brothers" sent to the Black Templars to temper them. Helbrecht was not enthusiastic about having "cat-people" among his ranks.

## References

1. ↑ Meeting the Felinids
2. ↑ Episode 2: The Black Templars, Dorn's Angry Boys
Episode 0: White Scars (Podcast)

**Episode 0: White Scars** is the pilot episode of *If The Emperor Had a Podcast*. The episode covers the history of the White Scars.

## Characters

* The Emperor
* Rogal Dorn
* Custodisi
* Wamuudes
* Boy
* Nameless announcer

## Books

* *Index Astartes I*
* *Codex: Space Marines* (Editions 3 to 7)
* *Chapter Approved: Book of the Astronomicon*
* *Hunt for Voldorius*
Snurko

> *"Emperor's tempers, Azrael! We're totally gonna find Cypher now!"*
>
>

**Snurko** is a Watcher in the Dark who serves Chapter Master Azrael.

## TTS Canon

Snurko is the only known Watcher in the Dark who can talk. This annoys Azrael greatly. While Snurko expressed enthusiasm for finally finding Cypher, Azrael angrily kicked him repeatedly to get him to shut up.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 Episode 20: You're Green With It!
Kuromukuro

**[insert name here]** is a [insert genre here] television series produced by [insert company or network here].

*In this space you can write a general overview of the premise and plot. Just a couple sentences will be enough here, you'll get to expand on it on episode pages.*

*This is also where you can write about the source material, if the series is a book or comic book adaptation, or if it expands on an earlier film.*

*Remember to remove these introductory texts when you're done. ;)*

## Plot

*Brief summary of the series, as an introductory*

## Characters

*List of all characters with minor description, names hyperlinked required (add the minor if necessary)*,

## Cast

* *This is where you put links to pages about cast members. Don't worry if you haven't written those pages yet -- links to non-existent pages will appear and you can fill them in later.*
Commander Shadowsun

**Commander Shadowsun** is a leader of the Tau Fire Warriors.

## Official Canon

Named O'Shasera, Shadowsun was a student of Commander Puretide much like Commander Farsight was. Both fought together in the Damocles Crusade, but when the war ended, the students of Puretide were to go on a rotating vigil as one would be on active duty while the others would remain in stasis.

Shadowsun was awoken early because Farsight had left the Tau empire and they needed her to repel an Ork invasion. She was also given the order to capture Farsight should she ever find him. However, she found that they were forced to work together to repel another Imperial assault, though they remained on bad terms.

## TTS Canon

The Emperor claimed to have found a recording revealing the true reason why Kitten hated the Tau; it was because Shadowsun broke up with him to fight for the Greater Good, and because every time she was with him it made her forehead sore.

Kitten vehemently denied ever dating Shadowsun, declaring "THIS IS NOT FUCKING CANON!" Despite this, he was also taunted by Magnus claiming that they were dating. The Lockwarden also confirmed that they were dating when Kitten had previously came to him after the breakup.

## Trivia

* In the fan-made Warhammer Idol series by Stringstorm, Shadowsun's debut song "Kitty" seems to heavily reference her supposed relationship with Kitten in the TTS universe.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 Short 3: Why Kitten Hates the Tau
2. ↑ Episode 18.5: Atrocious Answers
3. ↑ Episode 27: A Cat to Yarn, A Bird to Folly
Episode 9: Necrons

**Episode 9: Necrons** is the ninth episode of the first season of *If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device*.

## Appearances

* The Emperor
* Little Kitten
* Fyodor Karamazov
* Ecclesiarch Decius XXIII
* Grand Provost Marshal
* Commander Militant
* Master of the Administratum
* Fabricator-General
* Karstodes
* Custodisi
* Wamuudes
* Grand Master Elirush
* Inquisitor Donklas
* Inquisitor Adrielle Quist
* Cypher
* Damsel in Distress
* Random confused Arbitrator
Cato Sicarius

> *"The death of others is a small price to pay, as they fall, performing their duties in order to achieve glory for the interest of the best Ultramarine Captain - which of course is I, Cato Sicarius!"*
>
>

**He, Cato Sicarius** is the Captain of the 2nd company of the Ultramarines, Master of the Watch, Knight Champion of Macragge, Grand Duke of Talassar, and High Suzerain of Ultramar, and as such no foul xeno could ever hope to outmatch his legendary swordsman skill.

## Official Canon

Hailing from Talassar, He, Cato Sicarius, would join Ultramarines as an aspirant and go onto become a sergeant and eventually Knight Champion of Macragge. He, Cato Sicarius, would assume the rank of Captain of the Second Company after the Tyranids effectively ate his predecessors.

He, Cato Sicarius, would engage in many campaigns across the Imperium and gaining a reputation as a True Hero of the Imperium (as far as he, Cato Sicarius, is concerned, anyway), fighting in the Dantaro Campaign, on Masali, Medusa IV, Black Reach, Damnos: and many more. He, Cato Sicarius, would eventually gain a reputation as the likely successor to Marneus Calgar as the Chapter Master, despite the Codex Astartes stating that it is normally the First Captain to be the chosen successor.

In the new Gathering Storm Lore, He, Cato Sicarius, was present on Macragge to witness the revival of Roboute Guilliman and would accompany him to Terra.

## TTS Canon

He, Cato Sicarius is an insufferable glory hound who speaks in a falsetto voice, and always refers to himself as "I, Cato Sicarius." He, Cato Sicarius, is the personification of everything wrong with the Ultramarines, as he, Cato Sicarius, flawlessly executes otherwise impossible missions with the greatest of ease and in the most obnoxious manner possible. He, Cato Sicarius, was able to capture Magnus the Red without his Gellar Fields active, and found the artifacts of Vulkan in less than a year [and deliver them to the Salamanders without being detected]. Marneus Calgar especially hates him, as He, Cato Sicarius has made it abundantly clear that he, Cato Sicarius, wants to become the new Chapter Master despite Calgar still being alive.

He, Cato Sicarius also wrote a fanfic about himself, where he, Cato Sicarius, effortlessly defeats mankind's enemies, including the four Chaos Gods, and is appointed the new Emperor of Mankind. When he, Cato Sicarius, had finished writing it, the Emperor burned his drafts before he, Cato Sicarious, could publish it.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 Episode 14: Greatest of Psykers
2. ↑ Episode 20: You're Green With It!
3. ↑ Storytime with Nostalgiachan: The Greatest of the Greatest of them All
ThatGuyInTheGutter

Among his hobbies include dressing up as a soldier and freaking people out

**ThatGuyInTheGutter** is a well known, semi-active commenter on the Explosm website. As his name would suggest, he is allegedly a homeless man living in the gutters.

His first comment was on October 11, 2015, which read "When you realize all the new commentators aren't funny and The legendary ones give up due to spam and idk? Lack of potatoes?".

On occasion, he has claimed to be a veteran, but was discharged from his army due to unknown reasons.

## Trivia

* He used to have brown hair.
* He has expressed a preference for comments made by YourOldGameboy and Fire\_Mutt.
* He has shown a talent for making gifs, with many of his previous profile pictures being animated.
* He prefers his women like he prefers his life, "depressed".
* Apparently, he has a neighbor named ThatGuyInTheSewer who was assaulted by Mr. Green, a character from the comics.
* He has claimed to be an actor in the movie Suicide Squad, a Jonestown Documentary.
* According to him, there exists a "Hobo Jesus", who can turn water into whiskey.

## References

1. ↑ http://explosm.net/comics/4748
2. ↑ http://explosm.net/comics/4756
3. ↑ http://explosm.net/comics/4096
4. ↑ http://explosm.net/comics/4099
5. ↑ http://explosm.net/comics/4376
6. ↑ http://explosm.net/comics/4381
7. ↑ http://explosm.net/comics/4380
Grand Master Elirush

**Grand Master Elirush** is a Grey Knight seen accompanying the trio of Inquisitors.

## TTS Canon

Elirush is a typical Grey Knight leader, zealous, loud and eager to root out any daemonic influence in the Imperium of man. Yells the loudest, which is unfortunate in combination with his accent and terrible mic quality.

He first appears when Inquisitor Fyodor Karamazov calls together the Inquisition to investigate potential heresy on Holy Terra. He would go on to help round up suspects during the Inquisition's purge of Terra and in Karamazov's crusade to the Imperial Palace. He often appears as a part of Karamazov's retinue, alongside Inquisitor Adrielle Quist of the Ordo Xenos and Inquisitor Donklas of the Ordo Hereticus.

After being banished to the warp alongside the rest of Karamazov's inquisition he was eager to discover Kaldor Draigo in the warp, seeing him as the most esteemed Grey Knight in all of history, and their best chance at survival.  He was killed by Skarbrand in the battle against the daemons of Chaos at Khaine's Gate, along with the rest of the Grey Knights present, sans Draigo.

## Trivia

* Elirush went unnamed until his final appearance.
* Leman Russ claims that the Grey Knight Leader's accent is "strange and full of waffles." This is likely meant to be a jab at Eliphas, who is Belgian.
* According to Alfabusa, Eliphas hates his character so much that he deliberately tried to have him killed during the tabletop battle between the Inquisition and Daemons.

## Quotes

* "SSSSÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅSSSS!"
* [Prolonged Waffle]

## References

1. ↑ Episode 9: Necrons
2. ↑ Episode 21: Still Alive
3. ↑ Episode 26 Part 1: Hateful Feud at Khaine's Gate
Jaghatai Khan

**Jaghatai Khan** is Primarch of the White Scars, and fifth son of the Emperor.

## Official Canon

Jaghatai Khan was found on Chogoris, a feudal world where most people lived nomadically on horseback. After he united his people, he was found by the Emperor and was reunited with his legion, the White Scars. In order to keep new recruits battle-hardened, Jaghatai dissolved his empire and allowed the various tribes to fight each other once more.

Over time, the Khan saw himself as an outsider, and found it difficult to get along with most of the Imperial citizens, including his brothers. However, he formed a close bond with Magnus the Red, who shared in his outsider status, and both loved to take up intellectual pursuits. While Magnus was always fascinated by the Warp, Jaghatai encouraged him to exercise more caution, and not to draw out more power than he needed. Unfortunately, his words went unheeded when, after the council of Nikea, Magnus continued to look into the Warp, and became a pawn of Tzeentch.

### Horus Heresy

Upon learning of the fate of Prospero, Jaghatai went to investigate. There he encountered a shade of Magnus, who relayed what had happened. Jaghatai escorted the remaining loyalist Thousand Sons away from the planet, just as Mortarion and his Death Guard arrived. Khan refused Mortarion's offer to join Chaos, and defeated him in a duel. Khan made for Terra, where he assisted the Imperial Fists in defending the planet from the Traitors.

After failing to protect the Emperor, Jaghatai Khan disappeared into the Webway to rescue Imperials from the Dark Eldar.

## TTS Canon

Jaghatai Khan was a speed demon who could not hold still for more than a second. He used to ride around the Imperial Palace on his bike, much to Magnus’ excitement. Custodisi spotted him surfing a Rhino during the Seige of Terra, and reported that the real reason he disappeared into the Webway was to challenge the Dark Eldar to a race.

When Fyodor Karamazov were brought into an audience with Asdrubael Vect, he releases his energy of "un-suffering" which spreads across Commoragh which caused the Dark Eldar inhabitants to melt and perish, Jagatai Khan is seen riding into the city with his bike, possibly sensing the Emperor's energy in Commoragh.

## Gallery

Jaghatai Khan's standard cutout, by NostalgiaJaghatai Khan's angry cutoutJaghatai Khan's flashback cutout
## References

1. ↑ Episode 14: Greatest of Psykers
2. ↑ Episode 24: Of Khans and Cages
Saint Celestine

> "*That you cannot be condemned for. Without you, Fyodor Karamazov would not have shaped up to be the bitter, dogmatic and furiously self-assured vessel that he is today.*"
>
>

**Saint Celestine** is the most well-known Living Saint in the Imperium of Man, playing an active role in the turbulent 41st millennium.

## Official Canon

Celestine was a Repentia of the Order of Our Martyred Lady who fought in the Palatine crusade. During the fighting, it soon became apparent that she had been blessed by the Emperor, though it wasn't until she recovered the amour of Saint Katherine that she was officially declared a Living Saint.

Even after her seemingly apparent death, she'd appear from the Warp to aid Imperial soldiers in their hour of greatest need, surrounded by heavenly light and descending upon a giant pair of wings.

Celestine was actively involved in the defense of Cadia during the 13th Black Crusade, helping the surviving Imperials to escape into the Webway, and was present for the revival Roboute Guilliman at Macragge.

## TTS Canon

Celestine appears alongside Dominique's soul and the Star Child as they find Fyodor Karamazov trying to get past the Gate of Khaine. Celestine and the Starchild had plans for Fyodor and made sure that he would escape from the Warp.

She appears again in the video Salvation Through Annihilation, by Eliphas, where she saves a Shrine World from Ku'Gath the Plague Father.

Celestine revealed to the Blood Angels after decapitating Be'lakor that she and The Sanguinor like to switch up roles periodically to keep things fresh. She also accidentally called the Sanguinor her "Boy Toy," effectively outing their relationship.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 Episode 26 Part 1: Hateful Feud at Khaine's Gate
2. ↑ Salvation Through Annihilation
3. ↑ A Be'lated Sanguinala Short
Characters List

There are many characters in If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device. Here they are listed by affiliation; official canon characters are listed separately from characters original to TTS.

## Imperium of Man

* The Emperor
* Malcador the Sigilate
* Goge Vandire
* Star Child

### High Lords of Terra

* Ecclesiarch Decius XXIII
* Fabricator-General of Mars
* Grand Provost Marshal
* Master of the Administratum
* Commander Militant of the Imperial Guard

### Loyalist Primarchs

* Rogal Dorn
* Roboute Guilliman
* Vulkan
* Corvus Corax
* Lion El'Jonson
* Jaghatai Khan
* Leman Russ
* Ferrus Manus
* Sanguinius

### Space Marines

* Marneus Calgar
* Cato Sicarius
* Uriel Ventris
* Illiyan Nastase
* Tu'Shan
* He'Stan
* Azrael
* Asmodai
* Belial
* Chaplain Grimaldus
* Kaldor Draigo
* Kayvaan Shrike
* Kadus
* Helbrecht
* Indrick Boreale
* Apollo Diomedes
* The Sanguinor

### Adeptus Mechanicus

* Delphan Gruss
* Belisarius Cawl

### Imperial Guard

* Ollanius Pius
* Sly Marbo
* Colonel 'Iron Hand' Straken
* Gunnery Sergeant ‘Stonetooth’ Harker
* Mogul Kamir
* Ciaphas Cain

### Sisters of Battle

* Alicia Dominica
* Ephrael Stern
* Saint Celestine

### Inquisition

* Fyodor Karamazov
* Torquemada Coteaz
* Kryptman
* Obiwan Sherlock Clousseau

## Chaos

### Chaos Gods

* Khorne
* Nurgle
* Tzeentch
* Slaanesh
* Malal
* Great Horned Rat

### Traitor Primarchs

* Horus
* Magnus the Red
* Fulgrim
* Mortarion
* Angron
* Lorgar
* Perturabo
* Konrad Curze
* Alpharius Omegon

### Chaos Champions

* Abaddon the Despoiler
* Ahzek Ahriman
* Lucius the Eternal
* Kharn the Betrayer
* Typhus
* Fabius Bile
* Cypher
* Miriael Sabathiel

### Daemons

* Kairos Fateweaver
* Skarbrand
* Epidemius
* Masque of Slaanesh
* Be'lakor

## Other Characters

### Eldar Gods

* Khaine
* Cegorach
* Isha
* Ynnead

### Eldar

* Eldrad Ulthran
* Yvraine

### Dark Eldar

* Vraesque Malidrach
* Asdrubael Vect
* Kruellagh the Vile
* Lady Malys
* Tahril

### Harlequins

* Inriam's Spectre
* Sylandri Veilwalker

### Orks

* Gork & Mork
* Blaktoof
* Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka
* The Beast

### Tau

* Commander Farsight
* Commander Shadowsun

### Necrons

* The Deceiver
* The Nightbringer
* Trazyn the Infinite
* The Silent King
* The Void Dragon

### Tyranids

* Tyranid Hivemind
* Swarmlord
* Magus

## Original TTS Characters

### Adeptus Custodes

* Little Kitten
* Karstodes
* Custodisi
* Wamuudes
* Diavodes
* Santodes
* Hammurabi Unferth
* The Lockwarden
* Lrak

### Inquisition

* Dominique

* Grand Master Elirush
* Inquisitor Donklas
* Inquisitor Adrielle Quist
* Inquisitor Javerticus
* Inquisitor Headsmash
* Calato
* Wilford
* Tempestus Scions

### Adeptus Mechanicus

* Cyberdong
* Valjeanus
* Techpriest Toastus

### Imperial Citizens

* Boy
* Hobo Guardsman
* Little Billy
* Detective Bruce Norring
* Snurko
* Crazy Hassan
* Astropath Sassafras
* Abducted Chronicler
* King of Khanasan
* Starass
* Lance Cashpants
Failsnake

**Failsnake** (AKA *King Failsnake)* is a writer and voice actor for *If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device*.

## Characters Voiced

* Cegorach
* Random Dark Angel
* Black Templars
* The Entire Inquisition
* The Governor in "Meeting the Felinids"

## Episodes Written

* Episode 7: Fabulous Custodes
* Episode 8: Tyranids
* Episode 13: The Fifteenth Son
* Episode 14: Greatest of Psykers
* Episode 15: Tau
* Episode 20: You're Green With It!
* Episode 21: Still Alive
* Special 4: Kitten & Tzeentch play a Children's Card Game
Isha

**Isha** is the Eldar Goddess of healing, fertility, and the harvest.

## Official Canon

Isha is considered the mother of the Eldar, and has a close bond with her children, speaking to them through her spirit stones. After the War in Heaven, when one of the other gods predicted that the Eldar would kill Khaine, he decided that he would kill every Eldar to keep the prophecy from coming true. Asuryan stayed his hand by requiring all Eldar gods to remain separate from the Eldar. Isha however stayed in contact with them in secret; when Khaine discovered this, he attempted to claim Isha as his slave until Vaul intervened.

Later, when Slaanesh was born, the new Chaos God consumed all of the Eldar Gods save for Cegorach, Khaine, and Isha. Isha cried out, which was heard by Nurgle. Nurgle intervened and claimed Isha for his own, and she has since been trapped in his realm. He forces Isha to try his new diseases, which she is able to heal from. It is beieved, by some, that she does this so she can whisper the cures to these diseases into the materium, thus slowing Nugle's efforts.

## TTS Canon

Isha mostly stays in Nurgle's plague garden and complains about the other Chaos Gods in the Warpchat. She hates Tzeentch's pranks and Slaanesh's flirtation. She has also been called a "Supernatural garbage can" by Decius.

## Personality

What has been seen briefly is that Isha seems to have adjusted to life with Nurgle to a degree, referring to him as "dear" and defending him when Tzeentch sent pink horrors to attack Nurgles Garden. She seems to posses a snarky side passively aggressively commenting on the fact when Tzeentch laughed it was just a part of his "big old stupid plan." She possess a clear dislike for Slaanesh due to their history and fiercely tries to have Nurgle send all the diseases at her, calling her a "irredeemable penetration addict." In fact, it can be said she possess an intense passive aggressive dislike for most of the other Chaos Gods save Nurgle, who, despite having kidnapped her, she shows clear affection for. This may be due to Stockholm Syndrome though at least in canon Nurgle shows a twisted form of affection for her so their relationship may be genuine due to the exaggeration of the elements in the series.

## References

1. ↑ Episode 22: Change
2. ↑ Episode 14: Greatest of Psykers
New User's Guide

Welcome to the wiki! If you want to help out maintaining this site, here's some simple advice and guidelines to help you out.

## Wanted Pages and Stubs

an easy way to see what content is needed is to check out any stub pages, or by checking the Wanted Pages section in the Insights. Stubs are incomplete pages with major sections that are missing or contain placeholders. These pages are no longer stubs once they have every major section filled out, though one can continue adding content to them if needed. Wanted pages, meanwhile, are pages that do not yet exist but are being linked to elsewhere.

## Page Creation

Before you start, here's some questions you should ask:

* Is the page directly relevant to TTS?
* Does the page belong to one of the main categories of content?
* Is the title spelled correctly?
* Does this requires full page, or can it be satisfied with a redirect?

When starting a page, one should follow the general format provided for that page type. Every page should be well-organized and have all applicable categories tagged at the bottom. Any applicable infoboxes should be included as well, and screen caps are encouraged. Not all pages require trivia, personality, or quote sections or galleries, though they are encouraged for characters who appear very frequently.

**NOTE**: **We're still working out how to get the Preload Templates to work correctly. Infobox templates should be working just fine.**

* Use the Character Preload Template for character pages. For an example of a complete character page, see The Emperor.
* Use the Cast Preload Template for cast pages. For an example of a complete cast page, see Alfabusa.
* Use the Episode Preload Template for episode pages. For an example of a complete episode page, see Episode 1: Adorable Centurion.
* Pages for Other TTS Content and Background Lore do not follow any particular format.

As a reminder, this is not a dedicated Warhammer 40,000 wiki. Information should be concise and limited to a need-to-know basis concerning what's relevant to the show and what's needed to understand who each character is. A brief description, about one or two paragraphs, will suffice for any character from official lore. The few exceptions include characters that are very important to the lore of the franchise, such as the Chaos Gods or the Primarchs, but even then information should be constrained to the most important points.

## Uploading Pictures

It is preferable to upload pictures (ideally of characters for each page's infobox) based on screenshots from the actual show. Try to capture said screenshots at maximum resolution and at a reasonable size for clarity. When uploading said picture, be sure to give it a logical filename and add the Fair Use license (template is work in progress). If the art in question is commissioned by a known artist, please credit said artist, either by linking to their Cast page, or to the artist's external page. If in doubt, consult the Art Credits link in each video. Please do not upload a direct copy of the artwork in question without the artist's permission.
Colonel 'Iron Hand' Straken

**Colonel 'Iron Hand' Straken** is the commander of the Catachan Jungle Fighters second regiment.

## Official Canon

Straken received his "Iron Hand" after losing his arm and a significant portion of his chest when it was bitten off by a Mirial Landshark. Straken beat the shark into submission and completed his mission before seeking medical attention. His propensity for running into the thick of combat and shouting at his men to fight harder inspires them to defeat the enemy even against severe odds.

## TTS Canon

Straken sent a distress call when he and the Catachan Jungle Fighters were being hunted by the Masque of Slaanesh for their massive muscles. Corvus Corax, Vulkan, and their respective chapters came to their aid, but the primarchs demanded that the regiment join their crusade to protect Terra as repayment. Straken obliged, regrouping on catachan to summon the remaining Jungle Fighters. They were nearly killed, however, when a Catachan Barking Toad appeared; when they were rescued by Sly Marbo, Straken hoped that the legendary Jungle Fighter would be joining them in the Crusade.
Munkey

**Munkey** is a voice actor who has done extra roles such as a kabalite warrior or a genestealer cultist. He is also been casted as the primarch Mortarion and he will not shut up about it. Seriously his filthy frank impersonation is good too, and that's what Mortarion basically sounds like. Other than being a somewhat friendly neighborhood dingus, he also likes to screech on his microphone when recording his lines. If you ever meet this handsome man you should give him free pizza and free money. ALL HAIL MUNKEY.

## Characters Voiced

* Kabalite Warrior 1 (Sly Marbo Special)
* Genestealer Cultist (Halloween special)
* Husbando Plaguebearer (Episode 24)
* Mortarion (to be voiced in-series)
* Barbican Serf
* Catachan Fang Wielder
* Ravioli Guard
Linkin Loyalists

> *"PUUUUUUUURRRRRGING WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITH MY KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN....."*
>
>

**Linkin Loyalists** is the favorite band of the Black Templars, which they play while on crusade. Chaplain Grimaldus & Kitten have posters of them in their rooms.

(Now available for all crusading loyalist to listen to)

Purging with my Kin
Skraket

>  "*WHAT the FUCK???! How DARE YOU INSULT MY GRAND MOTHER?*"
>
>

**Skraket** is a Dark Eldar of the Kabal of the Black Heart. He wears a hell mask.

## TTS Canon

Skraket is first seen on the transport ship carrying Xylatro, Jebarion, and Leman Russ to the Crucibael Arena. When Russ grows bored on the trip, Skraket suggests playing 'Mon-keigh baby amusement game number 3' to keep him distracted. He invites Russ to play and explains the rules. Since Russ is implied to be a latent psyker, any word he thinks of manifests in reality. In the second round, Russ summons Urist, who berates and threatens the Drukhari. Skraket meets his end when Urist tackles him off the ship.

## Trivia

* Skraket bears many similarities to Hevestuli from Episode 26 part 2. It's unknown if they are the same character.

## References

1. ↑ Russ plays a 'Small Baby Game' with the Dark Eldar - Vox-Logs
Slaaneshmas

**Slaaneshmas** is a holiday created by Lucius the Eternal as an effort to provide Slaanesh with more variety of emotions. Instead of torturing victims, for one day Slaaneshi cultists treat others nicely. Lucius and Ahriman used a broadcast relay to hijack all HV networks in the Imperium to broadcast their own Slaaneshmas special to coincide with Sanguinala, styled after late-night talk shows. Guest appearances included Kaldor Draigo, Typhus, Sly Marbo, Miriael Sabathiel, and Fabius Bile. Toward the end of the program, Lucius and Ahriman offered the Imperium an annual one-day ceasefire so that Chaos and Imperial forces alike can be united by their common Humanity (and more importantly, their shared xenophobia) and kill aliens together.

A competing holiday is Great Horned Rat Day, devoted to the eponymous Great Horned Rat, who feasts on the "nonexistent" corpse of Slaanesh.
Gork & Mork

> *"Oi gitz, how do you use this zoggin' interwarp?!"*
>
>

> *"You'ze already usin' the interwarp, ya grot!"*
>
>

**Gork & Mork** are the Gods of the Orks. Gork is cunningly brutal (will hit you when you're looking), while Mork is brutally cunning (will hit you when you're not looking).

## Official Canon

Gork and Mork came into being when the Orks had enough collective psychic power to manifest in the Warp, in a similar way to the Eldar gods. The difference is that the Orks can actively call upon help from their Gods, building great tributes to them and being imbued with their power. Gork is favored by the common Ork for his directness and brutality, while more ambitious Ork commanders favor Mork to grant them the cunning they need to overcome enemies and rival Orks.

## TTS Canon

Gork & Mork mostly argue with each other over the Warpchat; Gork in particular is so dense that he asks how to use the Interwarp despite already being on it. Decius has also called them "literal mushrooms".

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 Episode 14: Greatest of Psykers
Helbrecht

> *"NO! MY HEAD IS HERESY! LOATHE THE HAIRLESS HEAD FOR IT IS IMPURE!"*
>
>

**Helbrecht** is the High Marshall of the Black Templars.

## Official Canon

As commander of the Black Templars chapter and its massive fleet, Helbrecht commands the Imperium's largest Space Marine force available. He personally commanded all orbital forces during the Third War of Armageddon and has sworn personal revenge against Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka.

## TTS Canon

Helbrecht was summoned to the Imperial Palace by The Emperor to try to convince him that he and his chapter should get their anger under control and to stop hating otherwise loyal psykers and mutants. Helbrecht was at first furious at being summoned by warp magic and refused to listen until the Emperor forced him to calm down. At first Helbrecht was unwilling to see the error of his ways, until the others in the palace started fighting among themselves. It was only after that, with much reluctance, that he submitted to the Emperor's decree that the Black Templars would be joined by not just Space Marine Librarians, but also Sanctioned Psykers and Ratlings.

## Trivia

* Helbrecht's voice takes after his portayal in the audiobook version of Helsreach by Aaron Dembski-Bowden.
* Helbrecht appears to share the Emperor's distain for the Ultramarines.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 Episode 2: The Black Templars
Canoness Albia Thorne

**Albia Thorne** is a Canoness of the Sisters of Battle.

## TTS Canon

Albia Thorne led the Sororitas’ forces during the battle at Khaine’s Gate against the many Daemonettes that were sent after them. Thorne ordered her sister’s not to fire on the Daemonettes being blocked by the Taurox as “THE RISK IS TOO GREAT,” despite the Taurox acting as a meatshield anyway. When the Daemonettes ended up overwhelming them anyway, Thorne was one of the only survivors of the Sororitas contingent when Inquisitor Donklas dragged her away.

Thorne followed the rest of the Inquisitors into Commorragh, where she acted as a spotter for the group before being held up at gunpoint by the Dark Eldar.

## References

1. ↑ Episode 26 Part 1: Hateful Feud at Khaine's Gate
2. ↑ Episode 26 Part 2: Fear and Loathing in Commorragh
Imperium of Man

The **Imperium of Man** is an interstellar empire that controls a large portion of the Milky Way Galaxy. It has existed for over ten thousand years, and has withstood countless threats from both aliens and Chaos. The capital of the Imperium is Holy Terra, the birthplace of mankind. It is covered in massive cities, and the Imperial Palace covers most of the Himalayas.

The Imperium is ruled by the Emperor, its founder and figurehead. However, he is currently in a state of living death, and so the actual governance is done by the High Lords of Terra. The only leaders more powerful than the High Lords are the Primarchs, the Emperor's sons, who had been missing for most of the Imperium's existence but have started reappearing.

Being a massive sprawling empire, an enormous and inefficient bureaucracy oversees all aspects of life for the average citizen. Conflict between organizations is not uncommon, nor is it uncommon for disaster to come from logistical errors, overzealous administrators, or simple incompetence. Still, for most of humanity, life in the Imperium is better than being enslaved or killed by various Xenos races or the forces of Chaos.

## Organizations

### Military factions

* Space Marines - superhuman armies that served under the Primarchs
* Imperial Guard - standard human armies that form the majority of military forces
* Imperial Knights - nobles who fight in battle walkers
* Adeptus Custodes - the bodyguards of the Emperor
* Sisters of Battle - the military arm of the Ecclesiarchy
* Sisters of Silence - a Great Crusade-era military branch that specialized in fighting psykers

### Non-Military factions

* Administratum - the Imperial bureaucracy
* Ecclesiarchy - the state religion
* Adeptus Mechanicus - industrial and scientific organization
* Adeptus Arbites - police force
* Adeptus Astra Telepathica - trains all psykers in the Imperium
* Inquisition - secret police that roots out sedition and heresy
Eldrad Ulthran

**Eldrad Ulthuan** is the Eldar Farseer of Craftworld Ulthwe. He is a pivotal character whose mysterious activities have helped shape the history of the galaxy, as he uses his foresight to try and prevent Chaos from overtaking realspace. Despite this, he has a rather infamous reputation as his plans usually end up with someone getting killed or causing massive collateral damage.

## Official Canon

Eldrad was involved in the Horus Heresy, when he tried to warn Fulgrim of the impending threat of Chaos, not knowing that the Primarch had already fallen to its clutches. He also interfered with the Cabal’s plans of turning Alpharius Omegon into their pawns and aided Vulkan to reach Terra at a time when everyone had believed him to be dead.

In the following years he was focused on saving other Craftworlds from Xenos attacks, such as by diverting Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka’s Forces to Armageddon.

In Gathering Storm, Eldrad and a team of Harlequins performed a ritual to summon the nascent Eldar god Ynnead. Though the new god wasn’t at its full power, it was enough that it could help found a new faction of Eldar called the Ynnari. Because of the ritual, Eldrad has been exiled from Ulthwe, forcing him to join the Ynnari.

## TTS Canon

Having foreseen that Abaddon the Despoiler’s Thirteenth Black Crusade spelled trouble for the Eldar, Eldrad contacted Asdrubael Vect to give his warnings, and despite how much he loathed him, asked for his help. Eldrad intended to perform a ritual to summon the Eldar death god Ynnead, and he needed Vect to distract the Imperium with a raid nearby. Vect refused, but Eldrad decided to go ahead with the plan, with the reassurance from Inriam's Spectre and Sylandri Veilwalker that they would help him find Ynnead’s herald. Meanwhile, he said to contact Cypher to go forward with his plans on Mars.

## Trivia

Eldrad is canonically a crystal meth addict in canon.

## Notes

The events of Gathering Storm and the events following the resurrection of Roboute Guilliman were released after the creation of TTS. As such it is not known how such events will be altered by the Emperor's actions or if the same events presented in will even transpire.
Other TTS Content

This page is for miscellaneous articles about *If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device* that are not about Characters or Episodes.

* Alfa Legion
* BEHEMOTH Trilogy
* BRO TRIP 40,000
* Chaos Descends
* Felinids
* Hive World Purgatory
* If The Emperor Had a Podcast
* Linkin Loyalists
* Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker
* Retconnian
* Slaaneshmas
* TTS Q&A Streams
* Upper Hive
* WarHams
* Warpchat
Malal

> *"When I get out of here, I will be the greatest Chaos God ever! I'll fuck 'em all up! Just you wait... I will become RELEVANT AGAIN!"*
>
>

**Malal, the Renegade God** is the Chaos God of paradoxes and anarchy... or he would be if he actually existed.

## Official-ish Canon

Malal is actually of dubious canon in Warhammer Fantasy, let alone Warhammer 40,000, due to a copyright issue regarding his creators. While Games Workshop has tried to get around this by rebranding him as "Malice," he almost never appears in any stories. However, he is mentioned by proxy with regards to the Sons of Malice warband of Chaos Space Marines that are mentioned in the Eye of Terror Codex and a few White Dwarf articles, with his most recent mention in the republishing of *Heroes of the Space Marines* .

Malal draws his power from pure anarchy, and is enemies with both the forces of Order and the other Chaos Gods. Any time the Chaos Gods fight each other, he gains more power. And while his followers may be few, if the Sons of Malice succeed in their rituals, Malal can be summoned into realspace, something not even the other Chaos Gods are known to have done.

## TTS Canon

Malal is exiled into the Retconnian, a plane of nonexistence. He is still capable of communicating to the outside world via the Warpchat, though he mostly threatens the other Chaos Gods with destruction. He also uses a reality peephole in the form of the "Tyrant Star," an abomination that infects stars and creates madness and anarchy. Despite this, the Emperor still thinks of Malal as pathetic and nonthreatening, and will never be able to escape from his prison. During Great Horned Rat Day, his "corpse" was eaten along with slaanesh's.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 Episode 18.5: Atrocious Answers
2. ↑ Episode 14: Greatest of Psykers
Blaktoof

**Blaktoof** is the Overfiend of Octarius, an Ork empire at the center of one of the biggest xenos battles in history.

## Official Canon

Blaktoof was Overfiend of the Empire of Octarius by the time Hive Fleet Leviathan reached the region. This war is in a never-ending stalemate as both Orks and Tyranids are extremely numerous and constantly adapting their tactics to each other.

## TTS Canon

Blaktoof is seen being soundly defeated by Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka for dominance of the Octarius system. Despite this, Blaktoof refuses to surrender, amusing Thraka. He is spared so that Thraka might enlighten him with the word of Gork & Mork.