The Great Flush

* Treaty was never signed.

**The Great Flush** (a.k.a "The Great Log Debacle", "The Bleach Battles" or "The Boomers vs. Zoomers War") was a war between Log Lagoon and the allied forces of Packle, the Corvarian Empire, and Arkansonia.

## Cause

### Day 42

InkTea, Grunk, TanningOil and Bandanabloom left the Inquisition to form a faction called *Gay Bay*, a protectorate of Business Bay. RobTob and Chip later joined, and the latter changed the faction's name to *Log Lagoon*. They had resided north of Business Bay and built the RV Swamp. They had also created a state religion called Braphogism and worshipped the one true goddess and idol, the Slam Queen.

Later that day, KaraCorvus decided to visit a group of players in the Log Lagoon area. As the boys were chilling by the campfire, she roamed around the trailer park but was shocked to discover map arts of logs (faeces). The boys attempted to turn her into one of the followers of the state religion, Braphogism by inviting her to be baptized in the logs and worship the Slam Queen.

As a joke, Kara then striked several members of the faction with the OP pickaxe she received for Christmas called *The Yeeter*, and tricked them into thinking that she had called an airstrike by crafting and throwing redstone torches. Grunk then asked her to leave the area as soon as possible. Kara called a real airstrike and bombarded the Slam Queen altar, causing Chip to channel the power of the gods and summons a thunderstorm in the area. Kara also changed the Slam image to her infamous Dickbutt image, incurring the wrath of the cultists. Moments later, the faction changed their name to *Logoon*.

### Day 43

    Michaelmcchill was given a tour of the capital and holy city of Logoon. Chip showed him the log chamber which horrified Michael as it may violate Twitch's Terms of Services (TOS). Michael's disgust was intensified when he was showed the landmarks of the RV Swamp such as the Slam altar, the Great Dumpy and the trailers. He accidentally saw a glimpse of the faeces map art again and called them out for being filthy and disgusting. The members of Log Lagoon blamed Kara for placing the poop images.

Michael decided to flee the faction as Chip declared him a heretic and sentenced him to Brap hell. He told Kara of his bizarre encounters and declared to cleanse the area with force and weapons.

## The War

### Preparations

Michael then rallied Kara, Pokay and IAmSp00n to destroy and blow the filthy faction out of the face of the SMPEarth. Pokay was initially uninterested to join "these petty disgusting wars regarding faeces and children". Michael then found two items labeled *Queen Slam's Log* mysteriously placed in his chest at Packle, which only intensified his rage for blood. He urged Pokay, the leader of Packle, to buy weapons such as guns, airstrike, frag grenade and flashbang but to no avail. Kara arrived to their base and offered to buy airstrikes for him instead. The two Packle members then argued amongst each other about the whole "buying guns for war" issue as they tried to shoot at each other. Pokay, in an attempt to kill Michael, launched a rocket and killed his pet cat named *dumb* instead.

As soon as Sp00n relog to the server, Michael immediately drafted him to join the "Drain Gang" and asked him to provide weapons and food for their team. In order to convince him into the team, Michael kept on shouting "CLICK CLACK" to trigger him, while Kara offered to give a totem of undying to ensure Sp00n will not die mid-battle. Sp00n clarified that, despite his Arkansonian principle to remain neutral on the server, he only participated because he was forced to against his will. Upon Sp00n's arrival, the group made preparations on the weapons and a possible strategy of attack: Pokay with a sniper and a deagle, Michael equipped with an AK-47 and a flashbang and Kara with the airstrike. The attackers then flew in planes across the Pacific Ocean to confront the cultists.

Meanwhile, InkTea, the original founder of the faction, regretted the creation of the faction and decided to disband it. This was met with criticism by the other members. Chip then re-established the faction and elected Grunk as the leader. Suddenly, they were alerted that Packle, Corvarian Empire and Arkansonia declared them as enemies.

### The Ambush of Log Lagoon

    The attackers landed their planes several blocks away from Log Lagoon, but Chip quickly instructed the Lagooners to get into the bunker. They then threw a grenade at the hatch door of the bunker, yet it did nothing to break the blocks. Grunk celebrated this with a statement that "the slam queen blesses [them] with her greatness". Michael attempted to place a faction overclaim but apparently, Log Lagoon has enough power to counter that. Suddenly, the lands started to sink as water came flooding into the swamp. In the midst of the confusion, Chip accidentally disbanded Business Bay, leaving TommyInnit's base and the surrounding lands unclaimed for a moment.

Pokay made a quick decision to place a faction claim on a hill nearby as a safezone for them. The attackers then retreated as the cultists began to somehow suffocate in a wall, one by one. Later, they tried multiple ways to infiltrate the bunker: first, using ender pearls through block glitch, but to no avail. Then, they started to use chorus fruits with hope to get teleported to the other side of the bunker hatch, but faction perms disallowed food consumption. Lastly, they resorted to declare them neutral so that they can break the blocks, but was also prohibited due to the perm command. Disappointed by this admin abuse, the attackers called them out for being "smelly pussies" and Chip, in particular, for the destroying the immersion feature of the war.

Some times later, Pokay found a hole created next to the bunker that allowed them to get into it. It led down to the Brap Cauldron yet nothing and no one was there. They suspected this to be a trap and quickly made their way to the surface. However, Michael discovered that the cultists were still underground separated by a one-block thick wall next to the bunker and tried to attack them. The flood quickly receded and Kara, Michael and Pokay were momentarily trapped under the hatch. Fortunately, the three of them managed to escape. The attackers then tried to vandalize the Slam altar.

While the attackers were busy paying attention at the altar, the members of the Log Lagoon quickly sneaked out of the bunker and made their way out of the base. However, Pokay was fast enough to catch them and the attackers engaged in a PvP match with the cultists. Michael tried shooting his guns at them, but the faction protection prohibited him to do so, which only enraged him. Grunk tried killing the idle Michael with an end crystal, but he accidentally killed himself instead.

Meanwhile, Kara pursued TanningOil and Pokay managed to kill him. Michael then placed a faction claim over the bunker hatch. Icebomb tried to assassinate the attackers but Pokay managed to blow the end crystal first and Michael died due to its explosion in close proximity. Kara, Sp00n and Pokay retrieved Michael's items as he made his way back to the battlefield. They realized that Log Lagoon has once again disbanded, signaling the attacker's victory over Log Lagoon and regrouped by the riverside, north of the lagoon.

## Aftermath

### Standoff

Grunk began approaching the attackers suspiciously. At first, Kara striked him with a diamond sword, but Sp00n quickly asked her to stop as he deduced the kid was probably there for his items looted mid-battle. Pokay, on the other hand, was fiddling around with gun and accidentally fired a shot at Grunk. Grunk then attempted to blow up an end crystal but the explosion did little damages to the attackers. Pokay retaliated by killing him with a sword. IceBomb flew over the attackers and launched an airstrike that did nothing onto them. Grunk returned and immediately yielded and offered his surrender. Despite this, Pokay remained hostile and again shot him to death, claiming that Grunk cannot be trusted. This was met by criticism from Kara and Sp00n.

    The members of Log Lagoon defended the fact that their queen was still standing. Kara replied that it was because the goddess was permed to be untouchable and called the cultists as cowards. IceBomb refuted that Log Lagoon has no powerful armors to fight against the mighty attackers, so it could not be considered a cowardly act.

Grunk returned again for the third time and Michael attempted to return the favor of his attempted assassination, but was immediately stopped by Kara. Pokay and Michael reluctantly gave back Grunk's pickaxe and cursed sword respectively, upon Kara's instruction. However, both Grunk and IceBomb kept demanding their stuff and the Packle members resorted to back up to the mountain and the safezone they made earlier, fearing that the Lagooners might spawn another end crystal.

Chip finally arrived at the standoff spot, illuminated with a shining effect. The two warring forces then congregated into a VC, where Michael declared that his forces had came victorious out of the war as the Lagooners had disbanded their own faction. Chip was about to reply with an insult directed at Michael but managed to restrain themself. However, Michael took offense and Pokay murdered the admin with his sniper rifle. The attackers then intimidated the cultists with their firearms, as Pokay threatened that he would not hesitate to shoot the enemies at gunpoint.

### Negotiation

*Main article: Treaty of the Great Flush*

Peace talks began as Tanner came and offered a single diamond to sue for peace, which Michael instantly took. The attackers demanded that the filthy poop image be taken down at once as it violates Twitch's TOS. Chip said that the other party was also at fault as they had trespassed and attacked a peaceful, hippie-like, crackheads community who lived in RVs and minding their own business. Grunk tried to defend that the image was in low resolution, enough not to be identified as poop, but Michael refuted the claim that the quality of the image does not matter and they would not risk getting banned from the platform. Chip and Grunk then blamed Tanner as the culprit and the Log Lagooners agreed to take down the poop image and use logs instead.

Michael began drafting the terms of agreement which would be the treaty to end the war. As the terms were written down and said aloud, they were met with disagreements by the Log Lagooners. The most controversial term was to have them denounce their false goddess. Sp00n addressed that they should take down their massive effigy of the Slam and keep it at minimal size, as he himself as vomiting due to her sheer "massive radiance" at first sight.

Michael then addressed the issue of admin abuse. Chip defended that it was a glitch with the faction plugin. Sp00n pointed out that Chip said that while he was with a glowing effect. Michael prioritized this issue as rule zero: "no admin abuse"

Chip reassured that the world edit command (the flooding of the base) was purely cosmetic. They also admitted to not spawning any items, and the abundance of end crystals were manually gained. The original plan that Chip had was to have the cultists hide in the bunker and the attackers to come and break into it. However, since Chip was both an admin and the leader of the faction, they unknowingly made the lands protected from any griefing. Michael warned Chip that if another case of admin abuse happens in a war, he will drag Chip to the court to answer for the crime.