Muscular Distraction - A

***Muscular Distraction - A*** is the first episode from the third season of *Perfect Hair Forever*. It first aired on April 1st, 2014 on *[Adult Swim]*.

## Synopsis

After eight years, Gerald's quest continues. Gerald feels anxiety about Brenda getting married.

## Plot

Uncle Grandfather summarizes Gerald's adventure story as he tries to train what he says is his "third muscle". Meanwhile, Gerald and Action Hotdog, arrived at the foot of Tuna Mountain, realize that they have reached the peak of their search and just as they are about to take their first steps on the road that leads to the mountain, the whole mountain explodes for some strange reason because of Uncle Grandfather. After Uncle Grandfather's revelation of this, he laughs madly and starts destroying windows and breaking through car windows before the intro sequence starts.

The authorities arrive at Uncle Grandfather's house and ask to enter. He refuses, but when the same three policemen tell him they are cable repairers, Uncle Grandfather lets them in. Uncle Grandfather attacks, for some strange reason, the end of the cable to his crotch and the other end to a cake and while the policemen watch him, the phone rings. On the phone, Coiffio talks to Uncle Grandfather about $481 which Coiffio must use to pay the rent on his home.

As Gerald reflects on life, Young Man enters Gerald's office and tells him that he is preparing for his wedding with Brenda. He also asks Gerald to make sure the room is ready and perfect for the wedding. At his home, Coiffio builds a large cardboard robot together with his cat, Space Cat. The cat flies away and Coiffio explains that in 15. or 20 years his army of cardboard robots will help him out of his home. Meanwhile, Catman knocks on the door of a house that appears to be on fire. While explaining that it's been there for about 8 years, the garage door opens and Rod leaves. Catman explains that there have been complaints from neighbors about all the smoke coming out of the house. Rod explains that it is an entity made of fire and therefore cannot remedy the problem. Later, Rod tries to lure Catman into his garage with a cat cane.

Young Man and Gerald are still in Gerald's office. When Young Man turns his head, Gerald discovers that the ear, which he had lost in the pilot episode, is attached to Young Man's head. Gerald tells the story of how he lost his ear in a battle with Brenda. Young Man says that Gerald did everything wrong and that Brenda is actually called Margret. Later on, Young Man tells him that he needs a ballroom set up with wedding cakes, as this is Gerald's new job. The fire extinguishing system activates and water starts to fall from the office ceiling. As the water rises, Gerald says he remembers a song, so he jumps into a bucket of rag and starts singing. Later on, it turns out that the superhero Space Ghost is watching the episode in question on television. Gerald is in the kitchen, where he discovers that Sherman has eaten all the wedding food. The giraffe is still hungry and decides to eat his necklace depicting a hamburger. Later it turns out that if Gerald had given the necklace to Brenda, she would have fallen in love with him and the love between the two would have prevented, for some strange reason, all future Cat-Bun wars.

The hour of the wedding has come. Rod is dressed in a ceremonial dress and he will formalize the wedding. Gerald makes some announcements, trying to keep people, such as Norman Douglas, away from appetizers, poisonous balloons, and the groom himself. Brenda begins her walk along the corridor together with Uncle Grandfather, who slides under her legs. While Brenda is holding a tray of hamburgers and Rod comments on how confused he is from the ceremony, a sudden shot is heard and the screen turns black.

The episode ends with Action Hotdog playing the song, from "Pilot" episode, on the piano during the closing credits and Coiffio's cardboard robots invading Tunaminium.

## Characters/Cast

* Gerald Bald Z (Kim Manning)
* Uncle Grandfather (Matt Maiellaro)
* Brenda
* Action Hotdog (Will Armstrong)
* Inappropriate Comedy Tree (Nick Ingkatanuwat)
* Coiffio (Dave Willis)
* Astronomic Cat
* Catman (Dennis Moloney)
* Rod the Anime God (Matt Maiellaro)
* Young Man (C. Martin Croker)
* Young Man's Animals (Nicholas Day)
* Secret Military Policemen (Nicholas Day)
* Space Ghost (George Lowe)
* Zorak (C. Martin Croker)
* Sherman The Giraffe (MF Doom)
* Felix the Bear (Nicholas Day)
* Yellow Eyed Creatures
* Yellow Creature (cameo)
* Witch Head (Aunt Jenny)
* Ed
* Joan
* Jackie
* Judy
* Rainey
* Madison
* Brynn
* Lambros
* Barbara
* Model Robot
* Wetsy (cameo)
* Terry/Twisty (cameo)
* Cat Woman
* Wolf Creature
* Squirrel
* Cats
* Buns
* Crucified Clowns
* Japanese Speaking Woman
* Naked Apron Woman
* Red Frog
* Gerald's Mother (cameo)
* General Meow (cameo)
* Commander Bun (cameo)
* Drunk Baby (cameo)
* Geese (cameo)
* Sharks (cameos)
* Network Executive (cameo)
* Television Executives (cameos)
* Students (cameos)
* Native Americans (cameos)
* Alligator (cameo)
* Gerald's Ear (sentient form) (cameo)
* Tuna Fish (cameos)

## Trivia

* This episode and "Muscular Distraction - B" are the official final episodes of *Perfect Hair Forever*. These episodes are also the only episodes in the series to contain the word "shit" uncensored due to Adult Swim's approval in 2014.
* This episode contains many references to every single previous episode in the series.
	+ The Love Theme from the pilot episode returns as the credits theme, which the beginning of the song was sung by Action Hotdog.
	+ The beginning of the episode with Gerald, and Action Hotdog seeing Tuna Mountain again is a callback to "TiVo Your eBay."
	+ Uncle Grandfather and Coiffio talking together on the phone references "Happy Suck Day."
* Interestingly, Gerald mentions that he never got any perfect hair, despite the eight year time gap, at all. In "Return to Balding Victory", Gerald actually got his perfect hair. This was most likely retconned in this episode.
* This episode reveals that Cat Man has been kicking on the door at Rod's home for over eight years and that Brenda's name is actually revealed to be "Margaret" in his episode.
* The production music Boom by Alex Wilson and Mc Magico plays as the music on Rod's radio.
* The Japanese text on the naked scroll of Brenda reads "Supernude."
* Model Robot makes a cameo in a digital photo frame playing a clip of Coiffio's old home. He may or may not still be dead. Though, he is still present at the wedding.
* If you look closely, a pair of yellow eyes of unknown creatures from the forest can be seen in a window watching Coiffio in his house.
* Terry is one of the few characters never seen attending the Young Man's wedding at the end. Though, he was shown in the background before the wedding ever even began.
* All of the Young Man's family, excluding Aunt Jenny, aren't actually seen at the wedding.
* Mendelssohn's Wedding March plays as the wedding theme for Brenda's wedding.
* This episode and "Muscular Distraction - B" mark the final formal appearance of C. Martin Croker playing the role of Zorak before Croker's death on September 17th, 2016.

## References & Allusions

* Yellow Creature from the *Adult Swim* series, *Squidbillies* makes a brief cameo when Tuna Mountain exploded.
* The mouse toy that Rod the Anime God has resembles Mouse Fitzgerald from *12 Oz. Mouse*.
* Space Ghost makes a few cameos in this episode as he seen amongst the various screenshots from past episodes and commented on the show from the set of *Space Ghost Coast to Coast* with Zorak.

## Quotes

* **Uncle Grandfather**: Eight years have passed since my stupid grand-nephew that had big ideas for a quest that involved wood or clouds or something stupid. His quest upset the balance of muscles, but I didn't care, because they weren't my muscles. Mm...My third muscle. Muscular Distraction. Pumping -- pumping in up and down.
* **Action Hotdog**: La-La-La. La-la, la-la. La-la-la-la.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Look, Hotdog.
* **Action Hotdog**: La?
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Tuna Mountain. Our quest is revealed...Again.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: I blew it up. The disappointment on his face was...Amazing. Magic is not nearly as lucrative as real estate. But still, I craved petty larceny.
* **Secret Military Policemen**: We have reports of you breaking into cars.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Nope.
* **Secret Military Policemen**: We have reports of your cable being out.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Oh. Then come in. Yes my cable is out.
* **Secret Military Policemen**: The problem is -- you stuck the cable from that groin to your cake.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Just one more minute. I'm authenticating.
* **Secret Military Policemen**: You're not gonna get a signal.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Shut up. MMM! I'm definably getting a signal. Phone ringer, go! Hello?
* **Coiffio**: Hold please. I have a call coming in.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Oh. Well, certainly. I mean, he just called me, and now he's saying-- Hello?
* **Coiffio**: Uncle Grandfather?
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Oh, hello, box f\*\*ker (Effi).
* **Coiffio**: I am the leader of this call!
* **Uncle Grandfather**: You owe me $481 in back rent.
* **Coiffio**: There were many holidays. The banks were closed many, many times.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Are you lying?
* **Coiffio**: Yes. It's what I do to confuse your mind.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Lie accepted. First place.
* **Coiffio**: How about I send you some poison balloons? Poison balloons!
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Yeah, you sent me that, and I'll sent you a Ticking ham.
* **Coiffio**: Ha! It's all settled then catch you on the flip.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you rehearse the song for the wedding?
* **Coiffio**: Yes. Your lyrics were quite good.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Thank you.
* **Coiffio**: Poignant.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Thank you.
* **Coiffio**: Heartfelt.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Thank you.
* **Coiffio**: Really nailed the tune.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Good. I'm glad. You owe me $481 in rent.
* **Coiffio**: Call me back after you've eaten your ham. But you won't be able to. Spoiler Alert!
* **Uncle Grandfather**: Hooray.
* **Secret Military Policemen**: That's a good show. Great show.
* **Action Hotdog**: Do-da-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la, This is stupid.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Middle management is harder than I thought. Everyone wants something from me. But I never got what I wanted-- Perfect Hair...
* **Young Man**: Manager?
* **Gerald Bald Z**: As long as possible.
* **Young Man**: Manager.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: And also...Brenda.
* **Young Man**: Manager!
* **Gerald Bald Z**: What?
* **Young Man**: My wedding is in eight minutes.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: MM-HMM!
* **Young Man**: And I need make sure the Indigo ball room is ready for my reception.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Okay.
* **Young Man**: In eight minutes.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Uh-huh, okay
* **Young Man**: You don't understand. This wedding represents the victory of my family. Aunt Jenny, Uncle Ed, Aunt Joan, Aunt Jackie, Judy and Rainey and their three children, Madison, Brynn, and...Lambros.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Huh.
* **Young Man**: And Barbara just got married.
* **Coiffio**: Okay, listen up, Aeronomic -- Aeronaut -- MM.
* **Astronomic Cat**: Meow.
* **Coiffio**: Sit the smallest box on top and let the merging of cardboard begin. Merging begin! Now you must fly. Hurry! Implement -- implement -- go together, all boxes. Let's go, home slice. Be sure to check the alley behind the liquor store. In 15 to 20 years, my fearsome cardboard-box-army robots will help me get out of this overpriced, crappy townhouse where nothing works!
* **Cat Man**: Hey clown. I'm banging on this door. Open up. Cat Man coming in the house. I've been out here for eight years kicking on this door. Now open it.
* **Rod the Anime God**: Okay, I'm sensing a problem here.
* **Cat Man**: Uh, yeah, there's been some complaints of you smoking in your apartment.
* **Rod the Anime God**: That 'cause I'm a flame, man.
* **Cat Man**: Should have vaped that stuff, bro. Now I got to smell this, and now you're in trouble.
* **Rod the Anime God**: Yeah, yeah, well, I'm a flame, so...happens.
* **Cat Man**: No smoking in the building, alright? I'm furious. People are -- people are pissed off around here.
* **Rod the Anime God**: I'm a bonfire, born to smoke. You should shove that right up your cat-hole.
* **Cat Man**: Cat-hole? What the hell are you talking about? I don't have a cat-hole.
* **Rod the Anime God**: Well, come on in here, man. I'll make you one.
* **Cat Man**: I don't know, dude.
* **Rod the Anime God**: Check it out.
* **Cat Man**: MM, what's that?
* **Rod the Anime God**: Here, kitty, kitty.
* **Cat Man**: Hey, I want that.
* **Rod the Anime God**: Psst, psst, psst, psst.
* **Cat Man**: Let me get that.
* **Rod the Anime God**: That's a good boy.
* **Action Hotdog**: La-la-la-la-la.
* **Young Man**: I think I can purify the Danielson fragments before the main body escapes into the time fog...in eight minutes.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Um...
* **Young Man**: How do I look? You better say better than you.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: That's my ear
* **Action Hotdog**: La, La.
* **Young Man**: Uh, say it into my favorite ear.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Oh, man. The love of my life cut your favorite ear off my head so she could direct me from Uncle Grandfather's sex prison to Tuna Mountain. She saved me by starting a war. In order to save her, I had to ignore her...And the plot.
* **Young Man**: Well, you f\*\*k (eff) that up, and she loves me. You don't have enough hair to love.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: I know.
* **Young Man**: I know you say you know, but you don't even know her name.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Her name is Brenda.
* **Young Man**: Her name is Margaret. And she loves me because I have enough hair to shampoo.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Most quests don't even have weddings.
* **Young Man**: Quests like this lead to weddings...just not yours. Now, look here. I'll need that Indigo Ballroom clean and filled with wedding cakes and petits fours in the shape of my face...In eight minutes.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: And it's my job to provide good customer service, even though the water is rising above our ankles. This makes me think of a sad song. It's called "Brenda, you're making a huge mistake."
* **Young Man**: Her name is Margaret.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Brenda. You're making a huge mistake. I wish you much success, Brenda.
* **Space Ghost**: Zorak, are you watching this shit?
* **Zorak**: Bleh!
* **Space Ghost**: I've been pitching them shows for years, and they're making this. What the eff.
* **Zorak**: Eh, what are you gonna do?
* **Space Ghost**: It takes four days just to get Keith to call me back. What else is on?
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Sherman, you ate all the food for the wedding.
* **Sherman the Giraffe**: I know it. The cake was spectacular. I'm still hungry, though. I guess I can eat this hamburger rope chain.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: There it is -- The transformation covenant of Tuna Mountain. If I give this to Brenda before the marriage, she'll fall in with my true bald nature, and our love will prevent all future wars.
* **Sherman the Giraffe**: MMM! Now, that's the goods right there. A little tough, but good, anyhoos.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Then I'll move on to my second idea, which involves assassination.
* **Sherman the Giraffe**: Ha, hmm. This kid is crazy.
* **Monkey**: To bad, Brenda broke his heart.
* **Felix the Bear**: His life has not turned out the way it should have, had this show been made in Japan.
* **Sherman the Giraffe**: Hey, follow your heart, Kid. Ha, hmm. This guy.
* **Uncle Grandfather**: MMM!
* **Young Man**: You don't understand.
* **Rod the Anime God**: No, I don't.
* **Young Man**: She loves me.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: A few announcements before the wedding. One of the hams has a bomb on it.
* **Inappropriate Comedy Tree**: God damn it!
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Stay away from the balloons.
* **Inappropriate Comedy Tree**: Come on!
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Don't stand next to the groom or you might get hit by a bullet.
* **Inappropriate Comedy Tree**: What's up with that?
* **Uncle Grandfather**: MMM!
* **Cat Man**: Nice ass.
* **Gerald Bald Z**: Have fun.
* **Rod the Anime God**: This show is so confusing.
* **Young Man**: You don't underst--

## Links

* http://www.adultswim.com/videos/perfect-hair-forever/muscular-distraction-a