The Rules

## General Camping Rules

1. Have a sturdy, waterproof container that holds a spare change of clothes and a blanket. This will ensure you have something warm and dry if your tent floods.
2. Place solar lights near your tent stakes. This will keep people from tripping over them or the ropes at night.
3. If the ground is soft from heavy rain, reinforce tent stakes either by weighing them down or by using longer stakes. They can get pulled out of the ground by a strong wind, otherwise.
4. When planning your camp, allocate three extra feet per tent. This leaves rooms for ropes and stakes.
5. If you’re camping on an incline, dig a 1” wide and 3” deep trench that will direct water around your tents and common area. This will minimize flooding.
6. To maintain adequate water pressure, don’t split a water hose more than three times. Always ask permission from the campers with the spigot on their land before attaching a hose.
7. Cheap tents and pop-ups from Walmart are not designed for weather. One strong breeze is enough to collapse or flip them. If you insist on using a pop-up, weigh it down and stake it so it doesn’t turn into a hazard when it goes flying off.
8. Plan for a tent or dayshade collapse. Store valuables in strong containers that won’t break if something hits them. Leave your tent closed when you leave, storms can show up unexpectedly.
9. Pack some heavy blankets. It can get cold at night.
10. Map out your campsite in advance. During peak camping season the amount of land allotted to a group is limited. Ask for the square footage of your group’s tents and make sure they will fit.

## Site Specific Rules

* Book 1
* Book 2
* Book 3
* Book 4
* Final

1. If you hear something trying to enter your tent at night, sit up and say in a clear, calm voice that you are not receiving visitors, but it is welcome to visit in the morning. If a stranger appears the next day asking for entrance to your camp, invite them in and give them food and drink. This will give you good luck for the rest of your stay.
2. Fairy rings are generally benign. If there are the remains of a small animal inside the ring, however, inform camp management immediately.
3. Don’t follow the lights. I can’t believe I even have to say this one. *Don’t follow the lights.*
4. If you see a group of people dancing in a circle around a fire, you may join them. If they welcome you in, dance with them until the music ends. Do not look at the musicians. If they do not welcome you, but instead stop and stare, back away slowly and then leave. If they follow you, you can try to run, but it is likely already too late. Pray that death comes swiftly.
5. If you think you’re lost, stop and look at your surroundings. If the everything appears a little gray, like the color has seeped from the world, then you’re no longer in the campsite. Seek out the highest hill and beg whatever you find there to return you to the camp. Pray it is in a benevolent mood.
6. Do not sleep unless you are in your tent or in a hammock that you have setup with your own hands. No matter how drowsy you suddenly feel, do not lie down and sleep. You will wake in an unfamiliar place and even if you are found again, you won’t be left particularly *whole*.
7. If you wake and something is already in your tent, lie very still and say nothing. Do this until it leaves, no matter what it says to you. It can mimic the voices of those you know. Do not be deceived.
8. If you find yourself surrounded by a group of people whose faces you cannot see, not matter how hard you look, give them whatever they request. They will ask for an insignificant part of your body, such as a piece of your earlobe or a single digit from a finger. Try not to scream when they cut it off, or they will help themselves to additional pieces. Do not refuse or try to escape. They will take far more from you if they must obtain it by force.
9. The lady in chains is not in distress. Do not try to help her. It is a trap and she will kill you.
10. Keep track of what time the charge on the solar lights typically runs out. If the solars go out before then, do not leave your tent until sunup. Do not open the tent, not even to look. Stay in your tent, try to sleep, and wait for daybreak.
11. Deer do not grow to be the size of a horse. If you see a large deer, do not stare at it and especially do not make eye contact with the person riding on its back. Consider bowing until it passes. This is a sign of respect and it may bless you with its favor.
12. If you’re approached by a stranger offering you a drink from a cup made out of a human skull, accept. It will taste foul and you will not be able to eat without vomiting for the next 24 hours, but this is better than what they will do to you if you refuse.
13. If you find evidence that an animal has tried to get into your food overnight, contact camp management. Don’t move anything, so that we can inspect the area. It is likely a raccoon, but it’s better to be cautious.
14. If you are wandering the campsite with friends and you discover that one has gone missing, contact camp staff immediately. Under no circumstances should you try to find them yourselves, not even if you discover that they’re only a short distance away. That might not actually be your friend.
15. The woman with extra eyes will help you. You can trust her. If she invites you to her house for tea, accept. I think she’s a bit lonely.
16. Don’t eat food you find sitting out around the campsite. It’s not yours and worse, it might be an offering and you will offend whatever it is intended for.
17. Be wary of a friendly man that may approach you in shaded areas. Try to convince him to move into the sunlight. If he casts a shadow, you can assume it’s another camper and proceed accordingly. Otherwise, end the conversation immediately. He is trying to earn your trust.
18. You can buy ice from the children that approach your camp ONLY if they have a wagon. Those are the children of other campers trying to make some extra spending money. They only upcharge by a few dollars, so consider tipping. If a group of children approach without a wagon, do not buy from them. Act like they don’t exist. They will eventually leave.
19. While it can get cold at night, you should not see frost forming inside your tent. If you are woken by the cold and see frost, call the camp emergency number. Stay calm and stay in your tent. We will come get you.
20. I only have one brother. He is younger than me and his name is Tyler. If you meet anyone claiming to be my older brother, inform camp management immediately. He is not my brother.
21. Drink enough water\*. Insufficient hydration has resulted in far more cases of people needing medical intervention than anything else at this camp.

\*vodka mixed with Gatorade is not an acceptable substitute

1. If you hear something trying to enter your tent at night, sit up and say in a clear, calm voice that you are not receiving visitors, but it is welcome to visit in the morning. If a stranger appears the next day asking for entrance to your camp, invite them in and give them food and drink. This will give you good luck for the rest of your stay.
2. Fairy rings are generally benign. If there are the remains of a small animal inside the ring, however, inform camp management immediately.
3. Don’t follow the lights. I can’t believe I even have to say this one. *Don’t follow the lights.*
4. If you see a group of people dancing in a circle around a fire, you may join them. If they welcome you in, dance with them until the music ends. Do not look at the musicians. If they do not welcome you, but instead stop and stare, back away slowly and then leave. If they follow you, you can try to run, but it is likely already too late. Pray that death comes swiftly.
5. If you think you’re lost, stop and look at your surroundings. If the everything appears a little gray, like the color has seeped from the world, then you’re no longer in the campsite. Seek out the highest hill and beg whatever you find there to return you to the camp. Pray it is in a benevolent mood.
6. Do not sleep unless you are in your tent or in a hammock that you have setup with your own hands. No matter how drowsy you suddenly feel, do not lie down and sleep. You will wake in an unfamiliar place and even if you are found again, you won’t be left particularly *whole*.
7. If you wake and something is already in your tent, lie very still and say nothing. Do this until it leaves, no matter what it says to you. It can mimic the voices of those you know. Do not be deceived.
8. If you find yourself surrounded by a group of people whose faces you cannot see, not matter how hard you look, give them whatever they request. They will ask for an insignificant part of your body, such as a piece of your earlobe or a single digit from a finger. Try not to scream when they cut it off, or they will help themselves to additional pieces. Do not refuse or try to escape. They will take far more from you if they must obtain it by force.
9. The lady in chains is not in distress. Do not try to help her. It is a trap and she will kill you.
10. Keep track of what time the charge on the solar lights typically runs out. If the solars go out before then, do not leave your tent until sunup. Do not open the tent, not even to look. Stay in your tent, try to sleep, and wait for daybreak.
11. Deer do not grow to be the size of a horse. If you see a large deer, do not stare at it and especially do not make eye contact with the person riding on its back. Consider bowing until it passes. This is a sign of respect and it may bless you with its favor.
12. If you’re approached by a stranger offering you a drink from a cup made out of a human skull, accept. It will taste foul and you will not be able to eat without vomiting for the next 24 hours, but this is better than what they will do to you if you refuse.
13. If you find evidence that an animal has tried to get into your food overnight, contact camp management. Don’t move anything, so that we can inspect the area. It is likely a raccoon, but it’s better to be cautious.
14. If you are wandering the campsite with friends and you discover that one has gone missing, contact camp staff immediately. Under no circumstances should you try to find them yourselves, not even if you discover that they’re only a short distance away. That might not actually be your friend.
15. The woman with extra eyes will help you. You can trust her. If she invites you to her house for tea, accept. I think she’s a bit lonely.
16. Don’t eat food you find sitting out around the campsite. It’s not yours and worse, it might be an offering and you will offend whatever it is intended for.
17. You can buy ice from the children that approach your camp ONLY if they have a wagon. Those are the children of other campers trying to make some extra spending money. They only upcharge by a few dollars, so consider tipping. If a group of children approach without a wagon, do not buy from them. Act like they don’t exist. They will eventually leave.
18. While it can get cold at night, you should not see frost forming inside your tent. If you are woken by the cold and see frost, call the camp emergency number. Stay calm and stay in your tent. We will come get you.
19. Drink enough water\*. Insufficient hydration has resulted in far more cases of people needing medical intervention than anything else at this camp.

\*vodka mixed with Gatorade is not an acceptable substitute

1. If you hear something trying to enter your tent at night, sit up and say in a clear, calm voice that you are not receiving visitors, but it is welcome to visit in the morning. If a stranger appears the next day asking for entrance to your camp, invite them in and give them food and drink. This will give you good luck for the rest of your stay.
2. Fairy rings are generally benign. If there are the remains of a small animal inside the ring, however, inform camp management immediately.
3. Don’t follow the lights. I can’t believe I even have to say this one. *Don’t follow the lights.*
4. If you see a group of people dancing in a circle around a fire, you may join them. If they welcome you in, dance with them until the music ends. Do not look at the musicians. If they do not welcome you, but instead stop and stare, back away slowly and then leave. If they follow you, you can try to run, but it is likely already too late. Pray that death comes swiftly.
5. If you think you’re lost, stop and look at your surroundings. If everything appears a little gray, like the color has seeped from the world, then you’re no longer in the campsite. Seek out the highest hill and beg whatever you find there to return you to the camp. Pray it is in a benevolent mood.
6. Do not sleep unless you are in your tent or in a hammock that you have setup with your own hands. No matter how drowsy you suddenly feel, do not lie down and sleep. You will wake in an unfamiliar place and even if you are found again, you won’t be left particularly *whole*.
7. If you wake and something is already in your tent, lie very still and say nothing. Do this until it leaves, no matter what it says to you. It can mimic the voices of those you know. Do not be deceived.
8. If you find yourself surrounded by a group of people whose faces you cannot see, not matter how hard you look, give them whatever they request. They will ask for an insignificant part of your body, such as a piece of your earlobe or a single digit from a hand or foot. Try not to scream when they cut it off, or they will help themselves to additional pieces. Do not refuse or try to escape. They will take far more from you if they must obtain it by force.
9. Keep track of what time the charge on the solar lights typically runs out. If the solars go out before then, do not leave your tent until sunup. Do not open the tent, not even to look. Stay in your tent, try to sleep, and wait for daybreak.
10. Deer do not grow to be the size of a horse. If you see a large deer, do not stare at it and especially do not make eye contact with the person riding on its back. Consider bowing until it passes. This is a sign of respect and it may bless you with its favor.
11. If you’re approached by a man offering you a drink from a cup made out of a humanoid skull, accept. It will taste foul and you will not be able to eat without vomiting for the next 24 hours, but this is better than what he will do to you if you refuse.
12. If you find evidence that an animal has tried to get into your food overnight, contact camp management. Don’t move anything, so that we can inspect the area. It is likely a raccoon, but it’s better to be cautious.
13. If you are wandering the campsite with friends and you discover that one has gone missing, contact camp staff immediately. Under no circumstances should you try to find them yourselves, not even if you discover that they’re only a short distance away. That might not actually be your friend.
14. If you come across a spider - especially one that is abnormally large - please leave them alone. They tend to the trees.
15. Don’t eat food you find sitting out around the campsite. It’s not yours and worse, it might be an offering and you will offend whatever it is intended for.
16. You can buy ice from the children that approach your camp ONLY if they have a wagon. Those are the children of other campers trying to make some extra spending money. They only upcharge by a few dollars, so consider tipping. If a group of children approach without a wagon, do not buy from them. Act like they don’t exist. They will eventually leave.
17. While it can get cold at night, you should not see frost forming inside your tent. If you are woken by the cold and see frost, call the camp emergency number. Stay calm and stay in your tent. We will come get you.
18. Drink enough water\*. Insufficient hydration has resulted in far more cases of people needing medical intervention than anything else at this camp.

\*vodka mixed with Gatorade is not an acceptable substitute

1. If you hear something trying to enter your tent at night, sit up and say in a clear, calm voice that you are not receiving visitors, but it is welcome to visit in the morning. If a stranger appears the next day asking for entrance to your camp, invite them in and give them food and drink. This will give you good luck for the rest of your stay.
2. Fairy rings are generally benign. If there are the remains of a small animal inside the ring, however, inform camp management immediately.
3. Don’t follow the lights. I can’t believe I even have to say this one. *Don’t follow the lights.*
4. If you see a group of people dancing in a circle around a fire, you may join them. If they welcome you in, dance with them until the music ends. Do not look at the musicians. If they do not welcome you, but instead stop and stare, back away slowly and then leave. If they follow you, you can try to run, but it is likely already too late. Pray that death comes swiftly.
5. If you think you’re lost, stop and look at your surroundings. If everything appears a little gray, like the color has seeped from the world, then you’re no longer in the campsite. Seek out the highest hill and beg whatever you find there to return you to the camp. Pray it is in a benevolent mood.
6. If you wake and something is already in your tent, lie very still and say nothing. Do this until it leaves, no matter what it says to you. It can mimic the voices of those you know. Do not be deceived.
7. If you find yourself surrounded by a group of people whose faces you cannot see, not matter how hard you look, give them whatever they request. They will ask for an insignificant part of your body, such as a piece of your earlobe or a single digit from a hand or foot. Try not to scream when they cut it off, or they will help themselves to additional pieces. Do not refuse or try to escape. They will take far more from you if they must obtain it by force.
8. Keep track of what time the charge on the solar lights typically runs out. If the solars go out before then, do not leave your tent until sunup. Do not open the tent, not even to look. Stay in your tent, try to sleep, and wait for daybreak.
9. If you’re approached by a man named Beau offering you a drink from a cup made out of a humanoid skull, accept. It will taste foul and you will not be able to eat without vomiting for the next 24 hours, but this is better than what he will do to you if you refuse.
10. If you find evidence that an animal has tried to get into your food overnight, contact camp management. Don’t move anything, so that we can inspect the area. It is likely a raccoon, but it’s better to be cautious.
11. If you are wandering the campsite with friends and you discover that one has gone missing, contact camp staff immediately. Under no circumstances should you try to find them yourselves, not even if you discover that they’re only a short distance away. That might not actually be your friend.
12. If you come across a spider - especially one that is abnormally large - please leave it alone. They tend to the trees.
13. Don’t eat food you find sitting out around the campsite. It’s not yours and worse, it might be an offering and you will offend whatever it is intended for.
14. You can buy ice from the children that approach your camp ONLY if they have a wagon. Those are the children of other campers trying to make some extra spending money. They only upcharge by a few dollars, so consider tipping. If a group of children approach without a wagon, do not buy from them. Act like they don’t exist. They will eventually leave. Inform the next staff member you see of their visit, so that we can make sure to remove them from the campground.
15. While it can get cold at night, you should not see frost forming inside your tent. If you are woken by the cold and see frost, call the camp emergency number. Stay calm and stay in your tent. We will come get you.
16. Drink enough water\*. Insufficient hydration has resulted in far more cases of people needing medical intervention than anything else at this camp.

\*vodka mixed with Gatorade is not an acceptable substitute

1. If you meet a woman with a crown of branches, she will offer to tell you a story. Listen to it, and you will be under her protection and no harm will ever befall you while you are on these grounds.
2. If you meet a man carrying a skull cup, he is the cup-bearer for the one that rules over this land. His name is Beau. He will offer you a drink, which you may refuse with no consequence. If you drink, you will never be able to eat mortal food ever again, but nor will you need to. Choose wisely.
3. Do not litter if you value your life.
4. You may follow the lights on the campground, as they belong to the crown of the lady. If you're not on the campground and you see lights, *do not follow them.* It rarely turns out well.
5. If you hear something trying to enter your tent at night, sit up and say in a clear, calm voice that you are not receiving visitors, but it is welcome to visit in the morning. If a stranger appears the next day asking for entrance to your camp, invite them in and give them food and drink. This will give you good luck for the rest of your stay.
6. If you hear the engine of a four-wheel somewhere in the woods, do not approach it. The four-wheelers are not allowed off the road and this one belongs to something other than campground staff. Inform camp staff of its location. We'd like to recapture it someday.
7. If you see a group of people dancing in a circle around a fire, you may join them. If they welcome you in, dance with them until the music ends. Do not look at the musicians. If they do not welcome you, but instead stop and stare, back away slowly and then leave. If they follow you, you can try to run, but it is already too late. Just know that you probably deserve what they do to you.
8. If you find yourself surrounded by a group of people whose faces you cannot see, no matter how hard you look, give them whatever they request. They will ask for an insignificant part of your body, such as a piece of your earlobe or a single digit from a hand or foot. Do not refuse or try to escape. It will not hurt and it will be of great benefit to you someday in the future.
9. Stay out of the patch of land marked by yellow caution tape. You do not want to upset the creature that lives there, should it decide to pay the campground a visit.
10. If you come across a spider - especially one that is abnormally large - please leave them alone. They tend to the trees.
11. Don’t eat food you find sitting out around the campsite. It’s not yours and worse, it might be an offering and you will offend whatever it is intended for.
12. You can buy ice from the children that approach your camp ONLY if they have a wagon. Those are the children of other campers trying to make some extra spending money. They only upcharge by a few dollars, so consider tipping. If a group of children approach without a wagon, do not buy from them. Act like they don’t exist. Their mother will eventually come by to collect them.
13. Drink enough water\*. Insufficient hydration has resulted in far more cases of people needing medical intervention than anything else at this camp.

\*vodka mixed with Gatorade is not an acceptable substitute

1. ↑ https://www.reddit.com/r/goatvalleycampgrounds/comments/muag1w/full\_list\_of\_useful\_stuff/