Lars van Albrecht

Lars Aethelbert Finkl van Albrecht V, (born December 27, 1957) *(known to company employees and close friends as Lars van Albrecht V)* is a Morriani business magnate, entrepreneur, lawyer, investor, and philanthropist who is currently the President of LARS (Legacy Aberation Removal Specialists) Inc. and serves on the Executive Board for Albrecht Entertainment, of whom LARS is a subsidiary. He is considered to be one of the wealthiest individuals in Morianna, with an estimated wealth of 2.1 billion peblez ($3.2 billion); when the entire wealth of his family is considered, Lars is one of the richest men in the world, with family holdings estimated at 44 billion peblez ($57 billion).

## History

### A Brief History of the van Albrecht Dynasty

Lars van Albrecht was born at the New Lincolnshire Memorial Hospice in New Lincolnshire, Drumlin, Morianna, to business tycoon and real estate investment king Lars Bortland Mycroft van Albrecht IV (1920-1980) and Tilly (nee Anderson) (1930-1975). He was named, as all male-first born van Albrecht's are, for his illustrious great-great grandfather Lars Adolf Rudolph van Albrecht (1828-1879), a merchant adventurer who immigrated from Atorn in 1849. This ancestor was the progenitor of the Albrecht Entertainment Trouppe, a circus and minstrel show that traveled the various countries and cities of Vargelia, amazing peasants and aristocrats alike with displays of acrobatics and strength, as well as hosting the first known "Geek Show", a cavalcade of freaks and monsters put on display for a pence of a peblez (roughly 3 peblez or $10 when adjusted with inflation).

After Lars van Albrecht died, Lars Dieter Fagen van Albrecht Jr. (1850-1909) transitioned the business from a roving circus to an theater company; taking award winning musicals from the theaters of Drumlin and performing them on the roads of Vargelia. While he was able to acquire great success in other regions of the continent, Lars Jr. found himself ostracized from the elite society of Drumlin. Artists hated him because they felt he disrespected their work by performing it before rural bumpkins. Aristocrats hated him because he was one of the *nouveau riche*, and spent every peblez earned acquiring grander and more flamboyant suits; one of which was so garnished with gold leaf that it had to be stripped and melted down after a recession in ticket sales.

It was not until the life of Douglas van Albrecht (1882-1962) (not technically the first born son on account of his twin being stillborn) that the van Albrecht's would find true wealth and stability. In 1910, Douglas "Dougie" van Albrecht founded Albrecht Entertainment; a conglomeration of ten-pence cinemas situated in slums on the outskirts of West Drumlin. Capitalizing on the recent invention of motion photography, Dougie made millions by being the sole proprietor of cinemas in the Drumlin area, and after 10 years, became the sole proprietor of cinemas on the East Coast. Feeling he could make more money making films rather than showing them, Dougie began selling off his cinemas and bought up 24,000 acres of land outside of West Drumlin. This land, undeveloped and situated atop marshland, would eventually become known as the "Dream Factory". Taking over five years to build and still being added on to this day, the Dream Factory was a major producer of silent films between the years 1924-1936. After silent films began to be filtered out in favour of "talkies" Dougie invested in yet another cutting edge form of entertainment: television. In 1939, Albrecht Entertainment launched the very first television channel, ABE (Albrecht Broadcasting Entertainment), with an eight hour schedule of live set comedies, game shows, and news broadcasts. In 1954, ABE expanded to a 12 hour rotation of a mix of pre-recorded and live action programming in order to compete with the "video dramas" appearing on competing networks CTS (Central Television Service) and MBB (Major Broadcasting Bureau). Dougie van Albrecht died from an aneurysm on air while introducing the next innovation in television, rebroadcasting old movies during the late night schedule. The footage of this event is a highly referenced part of the pop culture of Vargelia as a whole, especially along the East Coast.

Picking up where his father left off, Lars Bortland Mycroft van Albrecht IV (1920-1980) used the profits gained from selling advertisements through ABE to finance the purchasing of a number of companies in diversified markets. In 1962, in the midst of unrest in the Colchesian plains, Lars van Albrecht IV used weaponry acquired from the purchase of Adam & Linchester to fund all sides of the rebel conflict. In 1965, Lars van Albrecht IV was charged with trading stocks under grossly inflated prices and ordered to pay 30 million peblez ($55 million) in fines by the Morriani government. In 1972, he came under fire for advertising for companies which he personally owned on his own network and conspiring to price fix the value of on air advertisements, though the prosecution failed to deliver a guilty verdict. In 1973, after the mysterious disappearance of five cleaning workers within his mansion, he was placed under house arrest, though again no guilty verdict was handed down. In 1975, Tilly van Albrecht was found dead in her bedroom after being stabbed 32 times and having her throat ripped out. The local police determined the death was a suicide. In 1977, the patriarch was diagnosed with early onset dementia and was ordered to hand control of his firms off to his eldest son Lars van Albrecht V. However, Lars instead raised his third born, Daniel (1962-) then barely a teenager, to the position of President of Albrecht Entertainment, and Chairman of all its holdings. Lars IV died in 1980, during the spring, after accidentally decapitating ten customers in a WaWa shopping center with a machete and then falling onto his blade. In an act of pity, Daniel gave his older brother control of Gondar Remediations, a local extermination firm operating in the sleepy suburb of Gondar, south of Drumlin. Lars would soon follow in the industrious footsteps of his ancestors, and start up LARS, the first Monster Mediation firm on the East Coast.

### Lars Van Albrecht V

Lars was raised in the van Albrecht estate in New Lincolnshire, Morriana. He was homeschooled till the age of 12 by his tutor Maximilian Gershwin, a former professor of Mathematics and Statistics at the Arbokt Institute in Beth-Haudol, Galros. When he came of age his mother asked for her son to be sent to the Ekron School for Young Boys in order to learn in a more social environment. There is significant evidence to suggest that Tilly also sensed that so long as the children dwelt within the mansion, they would be in danger from their father, who had already displayed the early warning signs of madness. Both Lars and Daniel were sent to Ekron, their sister Maria was sent to live with relatives in Paladio, where she would later achieve a Bachelor's of Science in Mathematics from PALTech.

During his time at Ekron, Lars exhibited an extremely rebellious streak, being labelled by his teachers as a delinquent who rarely attended classes, fought after school, and played in a rock band. Daily letters from Tilly to Headmaster James Corner, along with yearly donations to the school in excess of their annual government slated endowments, ensured Lars was not expelled, though he spent 30% of his time at Ekron under academic probation. In 1975, when after the sudden death of his mother, Lars dropped out of Ekron to take care of her funeral. While attending to his mother's body, Lars is said to have discovered that "indecencies" had been committed against the corpse, immediately suspecting his father. For the next two years, Lars and his father quarreled, often violently, over the issue of his mother's death, a point of contention that may have ensured that when Lars IV was asked to pass control of his companies to Lars V, he instead chose his youngest son, who was still at Ekron, and to whom he bore no amenity.

At the time when Daniel granted Lars control of Gondar Remediations, he had been heavily researching into the occult, an obsession driven by the belief that his father did not suffer from dementia but instead was demonically possessed. While attempting to find a cure for his father's affliction, Lars was struck by the number of similar cases that had sprung up in recent decades. He was even more disturbed at the lack of any specialized companies which dealt with these kinds of threats. To that end, a simple permit allowed Lars to change his company from an insect exterminator to a Monster exterminator, and thus LARS was born.

## LARS

### **1978-1992**

Legacy Aberration Remediation Services was incorporated on June 1st, 1978. Borrowing from his younger brother a small loan of 1 million peblez ($2.5 million), Lars V bought the second floor of a three storey office complex on the south side of Gondar. At first having trouble finding anyone capable of fighting against monsters, Lars eventually met up with Derek Greggino (1950-1999), a graduate of Parabiology and Xenopsychiatry at the University of West Drumlin. Using a technique borrowed from the corporate structure which the van Albrecht's had recently become accoustomed to, Lars formulated that the best means of destroying monsters was with "Good Equipment, Good Support Systems, and Good People". To better accomplish this goal, Greggino established three divisions, each specializing in a different aspect of the process of destroying and slaying Monsters. These are as follows:

1. Investigation - Reconnaissance, Research, and Weapons Development.
2. Mediation - Special Agents Training, Monster Slaying, Pest Removal (*note: the bosses said I shouldn't put this in but this refers to Black Ops Contract Killings),* Logistics.
3. Remediation - Clean-up, Data Entry, Public Relations.

In 1988, Lars oversaw the purchase of 10 new field offices throughout Eurf, including 7 on Vargelia alone.

In 1991, Lars purchased 4 new offices in remote portions of the globe. Most of these were destroyed by necromancers and fledgling rebel groups.

In 1992, Lars went back to school, completed his Diploma from Ekron, and obtained a Bachelor's in Aberrational Science from the University of West Drumlin. Six months later he would attempt a Master's, but this would be dropped by the end of the year due to scheduling issues while running a company.

### **1992-2006**

Following the Necromancer Wars and the death of a number of veteran mediators, Lars V removed himself from operational matters and moved towards a more distant, figurehead position as Chairman and CEO of the Board of Directors. On January 20th, 1992, LARS went public, with van Albrecht obtaining a 51% share on the first day of sales. Company stock debuted at a reasonable level, and would increase above inflation for most of the 90's and early 00's. Preferring to stand as the face of LARS rather than it's conductor, Lars V appointed five members of the Board to ensure that the company maintained it's original values while now making a steady profit to entice investors. While initially able to accomplish this under the stern leadership of Derek Greggino, things changed after his assassination in 1999.

While overseeing a remediation job in Jaedwin, Greggino was attacked by a long range Magic Missile. He was struck behind the head and subsequently died from his brain erupting out of his skull. The attacker was never identified but the residue left by the missile indicated being launched by a necromancer; a race of wizards thought to have been eradicated 8 years previous.

Following the death of Greggino, a power vacuum developed in LARS, with no executive being able to exert full control over the company's operations. Van Albrecht refused to take control of the day-to-day work, being caught up in both grieving for his friend and now involving himself extensively in his brother's attempts at producing a reality show based on Monster Hunting. The company slid into mediocrity; it's dominant market share being the only thing that prevented it from going bankrupt. This would change with the advent of DAVE; the first real competition in the market of Monster Mediation.

### **2006-Present**

With the premiere of DAVE as an alternative to the blaise work structure with which LARS had fallen into, many employees who had been with the company since its early days left to work for Masters. While most left without any prodding, more than a few of the higher skilled professionals were specifically targeted and scooped by DAVE as an act of corporate espionage. Despite having been out of the loop with regards to the running of his company, Lars V was shaken by both the betrayal of his employees as well as the brazenness with which DAVE recruiters lured his closest and most trusted workers. After nearly 15 years without setting foot inside of a LARS office, van Albrecht waltzed into Gondar HQ and forcefully booted the reigning COO, Matilda Matheson, from her chair; taking over both the operational aspects of the company and the public affairs sector. For two months, Lars reworked the entire corporate structure; cutting middle management and administrative bloat in half while doubling the size of in-field operatives. And had the shareholders, Board of Directors, investors, and capital venture firms not ousted him from his operational position, he might have succeeded in overwhelming DAVE by sheer market dominance and efficiency. But, unfortunately, this is precisely what happened.

In the time that Lars V had been absent, a number of interests had injected themselves into the corporate structure of LARS, both through the machinations of a rotating door of executives, as well as due to the necessity of maintaining solvency during years without major innovations. One of the key issues which forced Lars V's removal from his COO seat, despite owning a majority share, was that any unauthorized removal of an executive would be accompanied by an enormous payout; roughly equivalent to a year's worth of revenue for the entire firm. Since Lars was not present at any of the meetings when these policies passed, he was caught by surprise when instructed to either pay out Matilda's severance package, return her to her old position, or risk a lawsuit which could bankrupt the company. Since Lars did not have the capital to assent to her first request, he stepped down as COO, allowing Matilda to return to her original post.

This event, along with other actions conducted by Board members, prevented Lars V from resuming full control. While he now attends meetings and takes an active role in the passing of new policy, he has been unable to eradicate any of the legal loopholes which grant inordinate amounts of power to lesser Board Members. Nevertheless, he remains popular among the lowly Mediators who actually hunt monsters. Most of the public, however, still views him as the same spoiled billionaire who left his company to try and produce trashy reality shows.

## Personal Life

Lars has never married, nor has he been observed in any long term relationships. He has one daughter, Libby Amelia Duncan (nee van Albrecht) with whom he is estranged. There have also been rumours of multiple illegitimate sons, all named Lars VI, which have circulated in the tabloids for the past 20 years, though none of these claims have been proven.

In his early life, Lars was seen as a trailblazer in the field of Monster Mediation, though this image has faded. To the public at large he is mostly known for being the CEO and Chairman of LARS, as well as the co-producer of a number of reality television programs, all loosely based around the "glamorous" life of a Mediator. During the production of these shows, Lars was captured on film committing numerous illegal and/or morally questionable actions which have contributed to his notoriety. These actions include:

* Urinating off his yacht after snorting coke with the camera crew of *Big Bad Wolf Hunter.*

* Telling a young fan who asked for an autograph to go "fuck herself with a machete".

* Threatening a cab driver with a chef's knife and forcing him to drive to a nightclub in East Drumlin so he could "cut the dick off the man who fucked his wife" (Lars V has never married)

* Throwing used condoms into a Ducks Unlimited pond.
* Eating a chili dog while naked and intoxicated on the floor of his hotel room while attending a conference in Miskatch, Manikewan, Galros.
* Calling a group of starving Kemaians begging for money outside of his apartment a "bunch of humpbacked n\*ggers". (Lars V apologized publically for the incident and has since set up a fund to help Kemaians resettle their abandoned island.)
* Crashing his Vortez IH-400 into the side of a school bus, while drunk, at 40 km/h, and then subsequently punching the school bus for "not getting out of the f\*cking way". (Lars V also publically apologized for this incident and has since paid for several of the children to have a full ride scholarship to any technical college of their choosing.)

In 2008, Lars announced his intent to run for the presidency of Morianna but subsequently withdrew after his brother Daniel also announced his presidential campaign. Daniel did not obtain nomination for leadership of the Federal Party, and was thus denied a chance to become president.

In 2010 Lars and his brother unveiled their new yacht *The Ambergris,* at that time the largest privately owned yacht in the world. Two weeks later, Dave Masters would unveil his new yacht, *The Fuckhead*, which beat *The Ambergris* in length by two meters. The brothers van Albrecht sold their yacht before the end of the year.

In 2016, Lars announced that he was "coming out of the closet as a billionaire", at a public conference regarding the state of LARS finances in the face of competition with DAVE. This announcement was met with massive outcry from LGBT groups who were outraged by Lars' appropriation of their term. Lars held a press conference the following week, apologized to the LGBT community, and then spoke at length regarding the size of his new safe, which he described as being "the biggest closet he's ever seen."