Melody And The Quest For Cheese

Good evening Twitter, this is your boy Flip The Frog, and about 5 to 10 minutes ago, wait what? Who added this to the script? (Sighs) Damn script changers. Ahem, excuse me. Anyway, the name is Flip The Frog. And I'd like to tell you a tale of a girl who used to be a mermaid and her quest to obtain cheese. Yep, you heard me right, cheese. Mmm, cheesy. Furthermore, the following story you're about to hear is quite adventurous.

Let's begin in Atlantica, where Melody is swimming around the castle for some secrets. Before going any further, I feel the urge to discuss who Melody is. Melody is a 12 year old girl raised by her parents Ariel and Prince Eric. Back then, Ariel banned Melody from swimming due to the events of what happened during Melody's first few days on Earth. Luckily, the son of a bitch Ursula look-a-like who I won't mention is dead, and now Melody can do whatever the hell she likes.

Excuse the profanity by the way. Moving along. While exploring the inside of King Triton's castle, she heard the sound of a police chase happening underwater. When Melody got outside, there were no police cars around cause who the heck brings police cars underwater? Anyways, there were some mermaids portraying the cops as a crime scene was being operated by a man who actually seemed to look like Jack Nicholson. Melody asked his conscience Captain Pud to give her some mermaid powers so she could help out. And during the process, she likes to have her iPod on her as she listens to Tricky by Run-D.M.C.

Melody was able to catch up to Jack and she got into the submarine. Jack Nicholson began questioning what the hell was going on. A fight began to occur between Melody and Jack, and heck, the battle was almost similar to the fight at the wishing star from Puss In Boots: The Last Wish. Meanwhile, some of Jack's henchmen started coming out to try and attack Melody. The henchmen looked animated and their skin colors were rather black. Suddenly, one of the men grabbed a stick of dynamite, which baffled Melody cause fire doesn't even work underwater.

And then the man with the rather gray hat said, "Oh, this isn't an actual dynamite stick darling, it doesn't take fire to light it up, the fire is built right inside. He rubbed his hands very hard to the point the dynamite stick started lighting up. To grab the stick, Melody told the gray hat person that there's a naked man on his left and then she punched him. She then took the stick and tossed it out of the ocean with all her strength. It got out of the water, but what Melody didn't know was that it was aiming toward that one tree on top of Bikini Bottom.

David Hasselhoff was resting on the water while saying that he did good. Thankfully, it didn't hit him, as it instead hit the tree. Back underwater, Melody was able to grab Jack and throw him out of the submarine. The police officers who looked like they came from the 90's were able to arrest Jack and his henchmen. Captain Pud told Melody that throwing dynamite is not what a hero should do. Melody told him to shut up and then the 2 proceeded to head home.

Melody swam across the ocean while saying good morning to a few people she knew such as Jeremy Bakewell, Billy Joel, Daddy Derek and Madame Web. By the time Melody got home, she was feeling extremely tired. She got into her bedroom and began to fall asleep. But not long after, the family dog whose name was Copper came into the room and began licking Melody. This woke her up and she told Copper that she needed at least 5 more minutes of sleep. Unfortunately, her sleep would be interrupted by Eric who was questioning why Melody was still in bed.

Melody was left with no choice but to take her nap somewhere else. Ariel decided to take Melody on a fishing trip as an apology for not letting her swim that much and not bonding enough with her. While out on the boat, Ariel thanked Melody for coming out with her, and she also asked if Melody caught any bite yet. And by bite, I mean fish. Melody was fast asleep, that she couldn't even give a response. Her overnight trip to Atlantica prevented her from falling asleep. Suddenly, the boat began rocking pretty fast to the point Melody fell out of the boat. Luckily, Ariel was of course able to save a cold and wet Melody from the water. Okay, so while Melody does know how to swim, the water she swam in felt like Antartica from her point of view.

After Melody had been rescued, Ariel figured she have a discussion with her about what happened last night. The whole situation started when Ariel was bringing a plate of cookies to her. Before Ariel placed the plate of cookies on a table, a voice that sounded female told her to not come any closer because she had eaten too many beefy 5 layer burritos from Taco Bell. The whole goddamn disgusting thing about it was that the voice was making fart sounds. What I forgot to mention was that the voice was reading a newspaper. The moment the paper fell on the floor, it was revealed to be Tiffany Burton, a child actress from Mickey's Fun Songs. This made Ariel angry and she told her to get the fuck out of her castle.

Melody said that she probably should've given her some of her clothes to Tiffany just so Ariel would still know that it was her. Ariel then took out another newspaper discussing what had happened on top of Bikini Bottom. Melody had no idea what her mother was talking about until she recognized the paper. Ariel told her that she was being reckless. Melody always hated these kinds of discussions, but what did Ariel do? She said that it's no fun for her either. After that, Melody questioned how it's irresponsible to use her mermaid powers. Ariel said that the famous tree in Bikini Bottom had lost it's green leaves and now the citizens of Bikini Bottom and many boat people are disappointed.

Ariel said that what she put people in danger and it isn't what a real hero does. Melody told her that she's supposed to be her mom and not her teacher. She also said that she can take care of herself. Ariel proclaimed that taking care of yourself is not what being a hero is all about, it's about taking responsibility for other people. Melody then said that she's right and she'll wait for the day when her powers are needed. Ariel was glad to hear that and figured they move to another spot where other fish may be nearby. Melody thought that instead of rowing the boat, she would use her mermaid powers to pretend the boat is a speedboat which made Ariel scared and confused.

The next day, Ariel and Eric were getting ready to go to China for the Street Fighter anniversary party hosted by Chun-Li who I'll discuss soon. By the time they got to the living room, they saw that Melody used several pillows to make an airport body scanner. As Eric looked at it, he claimed it looked fun. Melody then told Eric that he's part of group 3 and to wait his turn. Seems Melody was just kidding and she let Eric go in first. She used a wooden spoon as a scanning device. Melody then scanned Ariel next and she claimed that it was a terrible dress she was wearing. Before wishing her parents goodbye, Ariel asked for a hug but Melody said that she felt a bit mature for a hug. So Melody and her family's next idea was a family fist bump. Ariel gave Melody a human size trident with magical powers. The powers would allow her to go anywhere by making a portal. Ariel and Eric were finally off on a big vacation by the time the portal closed, leaving Melody and Copper the only ones at home while the chef and butlers who I also won't mention were on vacation.

Melody told Copper that it's 48 hours until Ariel and Eric come back. They have TV channels, streaming channels, a house full of food and no supervision. So during the first few hours of being alone, Melody did a lot of crazy and wacky stuff such as dancing near the staircase like in Risky Business, jumping up and down on the couch while eating a circle of cheese, trying out new hairdos and others. After learning that the cheese she was eating was all gone, her idea was to go to the store and buy some more cheese. The moment she used the trident to make a portal to the store, the first thing she saw was the cookie department. She stepped out and proceeded to walk around, making the woman who saw her enter shocked and confused. Copper would be left at home cause dogs can't enter a public place.

When she saw the cheese department, the cheese circles she likes to eat were not in stock. This made Melody scared considering that they hadn't even stocked the shelf yet. Jon Arbuckle was right beside her and he asked if she was also looking for cheese circles too. Melody said yes and wondered why Jon was also looking for it. Jon said that he needed a cheese circle for a lasagna he was making for his cat Garfield, who just so happened to be next to him. "Well how about we try the other grocery store a few blocks down?" Garfield asked. Jon then said that the store he mentioned is way too expensive.

Meanwhile, an alien like figure named Johnny Woollyhatson came by and said that due to a case of mold, they were asked to take it off the shelf for a few weeks. Both Melody, Jon and Garfield were disappointed by this and the only decision Jon had was just to by shredded cheese in a bag. Melody decided to leave it be and she bought some other groceries. During that time, something caught Melody's attention. It was a box of Cheez It's. She bought it and continued shopping. Not long after, near the milk department, Melody noticed that Ricky Recycle Bin was caught drinking many gallons of chocolate milk without even choking or paying.

A man named Cray Crayson caught him in the process and Ricky kicked him out of the store. Melody was able to pay for her stuff and she used the trident to go back home. However, while Melody was out, Copper had taken all of the food out from the kitchen and ordered Melody to take a lawnmower he brought in and shred all the food. Since Ariel and Eric were out, Melody thought it was a good idea. She did however need to know that it has to be clean by the time Ariel and Eric returned from their trip, because otherwise, Melody could get grounded or possibly sent to an orphanage. Anyhow, both Melody and Copper rode on the lawnmower while getting a bunch of food stains everywhere to the walls and even the family portraits.

Then after that, Melody decided to bring a kiddie pool into the house and use bubble bath mixture like she was taking a bath but not in the bathroom. The good thing is that Melody was able to clean up the food mess before doing other stuff. Back to the kiddie pool stuff, she also got some flashing LED lights to make it look like she was having a house party. All I can say is that since Melody bought those cheesy snacks, I guess that's just how the quest for cheese begins.

Meanwhile outside, a portal spawned on top of a mountain. Who was in the portal? Out came a yellow skinned Lego man. His name is Lloyd Garmadon. He comes from the city of Ninjago and was here to search for Melody. But don't you worry, cause he's not going to kill Melody, you'll just have to wait and see. To avoid getting caught by the cops, despite not being in trouble, Lloyd needed some sort of transportation. He was able to find a car on sale and he bought it. Back at the castle, Melody was still in the kiddie pool while jamming out to This Is How We Do It by Montell Jordan. Suddenly, she heard the sound of a phone vibrating underwater.

Now don't get confused because the phone Melody uses is waterproof. When Melody picked up the phone, she noticed that Ariel was calling. To avoid Ariel getting angry about the bubble bath all over the living room, she used the trident which had a vacuum option. After cleaning, Melody finally answered her call. Ariel asked Melody how it's going while being alone. Melody responded by saying that it's just a quiet night at home and she's settling in with a good book.

What Melody didn't know was that a soapy girl who was about 10 had snuck in the house. But how did she get in there in the first place? I'll talk about that in a second. Ariel told Melody that she was having a good time in China. She had met with a live action version of Chun-Li and an animated version of M Bison. During their talk, Ariel noticed that Melody's mouth was making her look suspicious. Melody told her to relax because she's at the 4 seasons of wahoo. She also suggested that she should drink a mai tai, spend time with her husband and get sunburnt somewhere embarrassing. The weekend was all about her. And I mean Ariel's weekend, not Melody's.

Ariel was right and she remembered that they fist bumped on it. But whatever Melody would do, she could undo it by the time she and Eric would come home. Melody pretended to be deeply offended by such accusations. She then asked Ariel if it was Ming Na Wen portraying Chun-Li instead of Kristin Kreuk. Ariel took a look at her and she claimed that it sure was Ming Na Wen portraying her. However, the call would end right there because Ariel needed to take care of stuff. Right before the call ended, Ariel told Melody to stay out of trouble, but Melody said that everything was completely normal.

They then wished each other a good night and that was officially the end of the call. Melody then questioned what the soapy girl from earlier was doing in her house. The soapy girl said that the bathroom at her place tested positive for mold and that it would be taken down for months until her dad had the money to rebuild it. Melody gave the soapy girl a wash and she gave her some spare clothes just so the girl doesn't get arrested for public indecency. By the time the other girl left, a doorbell rang. Melody went to the door and saw a man named Ian Mercer portraying the pizza man.

Melody was happy to get the 2 cheese pizzas she ordered. The pizzas costed her just 3 bucks. Pretty cheap for 2 pizzas, but why that cheap? Eh, who cares. Later on, Melody and Copper were eating their pizza. Copper was eating pizza because dogs can eat cheese according to Google. Melody told Copper that it's movie night at Casa De Melody and it's his turn to pick, but he was not allowed to pick Frozen 2 cause that movie was the worst. However, there was a power outage out of nowhere. This made Melody have some fun by pretending to be a ghost with a flashlight. Copper was both scared of the dark and Melody's ghost imitation.

By the time Copper had left the living room, the TV came on during the blackout with nothing but static on the screen. Melody then said that she didn't order a poltergeist. A flash of thunder could be heard and a shadow of a tall rat was seen. As Melody looked around, the lights began flickering. Some bangs at the door were made, which had Melody say that if this was Ariel and Eric returning home early, they were scaring her. Before she opened the door, a big spark of electricity blasted through the keyhole. And then, the door opened by itself, revealing Professor Ratigan, the big rat from The Great Mouse Detective.

Melody was even more frightened by this. While Ratigan tried to at least greet her with a friendly hello, Melody was still scared. Ratigan then said that he's not here to kill her, he was just looking for a place to stay since many hotels across the city were not allowing him in. Melody slowly calmed down after hearing that. Ratigan then said that he was at the store earlier and heard Melody's talk about cheese circles and he had a map for her which goes all the way to Always Fresh, Not Smelly Cheese Mountain. Melody asked if they had all kinds of cheese including the cheese circles she's been looking for. Ratigan said that they do have the cheese circles. Melody then used the trident to reverse what just happened and asked if Ratigan would dogsit for Copper while she did her big journey, Ratigan accepted her deal and Melody gave her a list of things to do with Copper while she was away.

Before making her way out, another girl, about Melody's age was there. Her name is Anne Joestar. She had black hair like Melody, but wears a pink shirt, turquoise-ish overalls and has a bit of a half dominican, half american skin. Anne took a huge punch at Melody causing her to be sent to the living room, breaking the TV in the process. Ratigan said that she made him miss his favorite TV show, which was Teletubbies. Melody apologized and said that it's not her fault, it was all because of another girl who punched her so hard, it sent her flying.

"Where is it? WHERE IS IT?" Anne shouted. She then pointed at Ratigan and asked if he did something with the map. Melody stopped the conversation for a moment. "How is a map you're looking for so important?" Melody asked. The moment she asked that, Anne pushed her to the floor and tried to attack her with a crowbar. Before she laid a single hit on Melody, Ratigan grabbed Anne by the hair and then punched her in the nose. This made her have a nosebleed in the process.

(More to come)