Commander in a Dress

The Commander wears a dress and sings (or does he), not that he likes it. Space Tree is possessed.

## Transcript

One Day in Space...

*(open to Space Tree with a bunch of "Boxes o' Cash")*

**SPACE TREE:** Space Tree is totally rich.

*(some guy shows up)*

**RANDOM MCPERSON:** Looks like ya got a lotta money there, Space Treeeeee!

**SPACE TREE:** Hell yeah, boy, and it's all thanks to the guy that's about to walk through that doorway!

*(cut to that doorway; the Snitch walks in)*

**SNITCH:** I thought the cucumber-

*(a trapdoor opens, and he falls in; the Commander walks in, trampling the Snitch)*

**SNITCH:** Ow! My liver!

**COMMANDER:** Hey, Space Tree! What's goin' on?

**SPACE TREE:** Hey, Commander. I'm just countin' my money here.

**COMMANDER:** Don't you mean *our* money?

**SPACE TREE:** Yeah, I guess I do, business partner.

**COMMANDER:** Don't you mean *my* money?

**SPACE TREE:** No.

**COMMANDER:** Well, it occurs to me that I'm the one doin' all the work, *(close-up to his mouth)* bitch!

**SPACE TREE:** Did you just call me a bitch?

**COMMANDER:** Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. But the point is, the way all the money was earned was by people paying to see *ME* sing in a dress! *(holds up said dress)* And as I've said several times before, I don't wear this because I like it. It's purely for the money.

**SPACE TREE:** Look, we already agreed on how we're gonna distribute the money, all right? And to be honest, your whole act is kinda overrated. I mean, if I had ears and eyes, I'd be wearing earplugs and a blindfold. *(as he says this, eyes, ears, earplugs, and a blindfold appear on him)*

**COMMANDER:** ... OK, first of all, Space Tree- that kinda language is uncalled for. And secondly, I am TWICE the singer that you'll ever be, *(mouth close-up) bitch! And that time, I did say bitch.*

**SPACE TREE:** Oh, yeah? Well, ch-check THIS out.

*(the room fades to black, with a spotlight on Space Trizzle)*

**SPACE TREE:** *(singing)* Spaaaaace TREEEEEEEE!!!

*(he lies back and a blue/white S. McTrizzle appears out of him)*

**REGINALD:** I like to water ski!

*(cut back to the Commander)*

**COMMANDER:** ... *(whispering)* That was pretty cool.

**SPACE TREE:** Wait, what just happened? I just kinda, kinda blacked out there- What the hell? That was weird.

**HAIRY GUY:** You had the power within you the whole time.

**SPACE TREE:** Uh, no I didn't. I think I was possessed or something. Commander, what's the number for that exorcism hotline?

**COMMANDER:** Uh, I think it's... *(as he says it, it appears onscreen)* 4-100-YOU'RE-NOT-REALLY-POSSESSED-IDIOT.

**SPACE TREE:** Man, that's a long number.

*(Reginald, a blue/white cloud thing with a deep voice, flies out of El Space Tre)*

**REGINALD:** Well, there's no need to dial it tonight, Space Tree! My work here is done!

**SPACE TREE:** Holy crap! I really WAS possessed? I actually thought I was overreacting a little!

**REGINALD:** No, you hit the nail right on the head that time. Kinda like this.

*(he nails a nail into the Commander's head)*

**COMMANDER: OW!!!** Actually, it didn't hurt that bad!

**REGINALD:** Well, I know what I'm doin'.

**SPACE TREE:** Look, who the hell are you?

**REGINALD:** So you see, I was hired by someone to distract you while he stole all of yo' money!

**SPACE TREE:** My money? What are you talkin' about? It's right h- *(we see all his money is gone)* Ah, son of a- Who took it?!

**REGINALD:** Well, whoever it is, he left this note. *(holds it up)*

**SPACE TREE:** Gimme that.

*(as he reads, Reginald, Commander, Hairy Guy, and Random McPerson read over his shoulder)*

**SPACE TREE:** All right, it says... "Dear Space Tree, I stole all of your money to fund the new season of The Clerman Clones, as it was my plan the whole time. Ha ha ha. Love, Professor Clerman." Son of- What a minute, "love"?

**COMMANDER:** Who the *hell* is Professor Cler-man?

**SPACE TREE:** It doesn't matter. You can just do your stupid "Commander in a dress" act a few more times, and we'll make the money all over again. Screw Professor Clerman.

**COMMANDER:** No-can-do, Space Tree! That nail in the head injured one of my vocal cords. Now I can only sing with an Irish accent!

**SPACE TREE:** Oh, well, Mama Mia. I mean, damnit!

**COMMANDER:** Heh. I knew you were Italian.

**REGINALD:** I gotta admit, I'm a little disappointed that in my short time here, I never got to see you sing in a dress.

*(Commander is now eating a "Thing of Chicken")*

**COMMANDER:** Yeah, well, maybe you should shut up.

*(super-fast end credits roll)*

## Easter Eggs

* Click on Space Tree's **ST** after he grows eyes to see bonus footage. (Also works if you right click and then click play at the ending.)

### **Easter Egg Transcript**

**Space Tree:** If I had ears and eyes, I'd be wearing earmuffs and a blindfold, because I'd rather masturbate with a woodchipper than see your "commander-in-a-dress" act.
* There's also a hidden picture of Commander in a dress at the end.
* When The Commander says "That was pretty cool" it says "was it" in the lower left corner.

## Fun Facts

* When The Commander tells Space Tree the phone number for the exorcism hotline, you can read : ***4-100-YOU'RE-NOT-REALLY-POSSESSED-IDIOT*** ***($4.95 FOR THE FIRST MINUTE, $4.96 FOR EACH ADDITIONAL MINUTE. HIGHER RATES APPLY WHEN CALLING FROM UNDERWATER AND/OR INSIDE THE STOMACH OF A DRAGON.)***
	+ The phone number is 4-100-96873-668-732559-767737733-43468
* Reginalds name was not shown in this Episode. We find it out in Episode #34, Allon's Crib.
* This Episode 28 was released one week after Episode 29.
* The wall in the background of the episode says "Let's Go!" with an arrow pointing to the doorway on the left.

## Commentary Track

**With Reginald and Allon**

(Found on the March 2006 Secret Page)

**ALLON:** Hi. My name is Allon Amanolla and this is episode 28 of Space Tree the Space Tree in Space.

**REGINALD:** Yeah, and my name is Reginald and I'm in this episode tonight, which is more than I can say for you.

**ALLON:** Well... I just thought it'd be cool to come and talk about it cuz... I still like to watch the episodes that I'm not in. Which is... you know, like 10 episodes.

**REGINALD:** What, are you tryin' to rub it in that I'm only in like 3?

**ALLON:** ... Well, yeah.

**REGINALD:** Well... I only watch the ones that I'm in. I don't really care about the others. You know? They're not important.

**ALLON:** Well... you know, I guess the episodes... aren't that hard to follow.

**REGINALD:** Yes, they are, man. I, like, tuned in to the one- that other episode that I'm in, and I'm like, "Who the hell's that character with the purple hat?"

**ALLON:** Uh, that... that's me.

**REGINALD:** Oh, right, well, Space Tree looks kinda weird there with the eyes and the nose and the... mouth.

**ALLON:** ... And the blindfold.

**REGINALD:** Well, the blindfold looks all right. It's kinda like a bandana-type of thing. Like it's from the streets or something. And he likes to water ski. ... This bit- this part looks pretty cool.

**ALLON:** Really? I thought it looked kinda lame, to be honest. I mean, I didn't want to be mean to *you*, cuz I know you had a part in it... and the choreographing or whatever. But... it didn't look that good.

**REGINALD:** Man, you're just jealous cuz you're not in the episode.

**ALLON:** ... Yeah, I guess so. I like that guy with one eye... that "had the power within him". He's pretty cool.

**REGINALD:** He's all right. But, uh... that number isn't real. I tried calling it. Even though I just said there's no need to dial it, I dialled it anyway. I didn't mean to be a hypocrite, but, you know, what are you gonna do?

**ALLON:** ... That's a nice goatee you got there.

**REGINALD:** Yeah, it's pretty cool. I grew it especially for this episode.

**ALLON:** Well, I can see you got more of a... more of like a... what do you call 'em... Mutton chops? Here today?

**REGINALD:** "Mutton chops", man? They're just sideburns.

**ALLON:** Yeah, well... that- have you seen that other episode with the sideburns?

**REGINALD:** No, man, I'm not in it, so I don't watch it.

**ALLON:** Well, how many arms do you have? They just kinda come out of the side?

**REGINALD:** I got 2 arms. What do you think I am, some kind of freak? ... I don't like that guy's tattoo. I find it kind of offensive.

**ALLON:** Why?

**REGINALD:** I don't know, I'm just kidding. ... See the nail I put in that guy's head? That was pretty funny. That was like the 3rd take. The other two takes, he started crying. Heh. But then I gave him, like, some drugs. Then- and then he could handle it. But it still injured one of his vocal cords, anyway.

**ALLON:** I think that's like the 2nd time his vocal cords got injured. There- he just found out Space Tree's Italian. I don't think that's true, though. I think the Commander's kinda making it up.

**REGINALD:** Yeah, well, I want some of that chicken he was eating.

**ALLON:** OK, let's go get some.

**REGINALD:** No, I'm gonna go. You- you can stay here.

**ALLON:** Oh, OK. Bye!