ASM163 Sexual Violence

[transcript automatically generated - please help edit to make it better]

today's episode of ask science mike is going to talk about sexual assault and talk about consent and some of the issues we're facing in our society right now on those topics if you have been a victim of sexual assault or harassment this episode may trigger feelings of fear anxiety or trauma so understand that you don't have to listen that you can pause the episode at any point and that is it okay to skip this one completely if it makes you uncomfortable and based on that opening no catchy theme song this week folks i want to talk very seriously and very honestly with all of you and this is not easy for me um brett kavanaugh is being nominated to the highest court in the land he's a supreme court nominee in process of seeking confirmation with the senate and as i say that i'm curious about what happens in your body and in your the emotional centers of your intelligence how do you feel what reaction do you have do you start thinking oh boy here goes liberal mike talking about liberal politics do you think oh these republicans i'm so tired of this because that's not where i want to go or what i'm interested in talking about honestly i i just can't raise the energy for a partisan take on this right now and the response to a man accused by not one not two but three women so far of sexual assault has been sadly and predictably partisan and so today we are not having a partisan discussion today we are not seeking to tear down republicans or lift up democrats i want to talk today about sexual assault and the reality of it and how often it happens and what that does to people and the fact that there's a supreme court nominee who's been accused of sexual assault raises an opportunity to have an important conversation so women have come forward and one thing i just want to tell you is based on credible research something like 98 of women who report being victims of sexual assault or being sexual assault survivors are telling the truth 98 and yet so often the first response from men and women on both sides of the political divide in the united states is well what if the accuser is lying but statistically we understand that that is extraordinarily rare now of course in legal proceedings people should be innocent until proven guilty of course that's true but our default orientation towards women who come forward and not just women people who come forward telling stories of sexual harassment or sexual assault should not be what if they're lying because the evidence doesn't bear that out and we should be united on this i don't understand how the way in which we respond to sexual assault victims becomes a partisan issue i know there are a lot of gracious warm kind and compassionate republicans listening to this program just as there are equally gracious kind open-hearted democrats and independents and people who issue political labels so i'd ask you to examine if if you identify as a republican and your automatic response to reports of sexual assault is to say what if the accuser is lying i would ask you to examine that feeling and i'm going to explain why in a few moments but i just want to say that no political stakes justify excusing or minimizing accusations of sexual assault none none we saw it in the election of donald trump minimizing reports of sexual harassment and assault we're seeing it now with brett kavanaugh we saw it uh with bill clinton um back in the day this is not a uniquely right now it seems like the democrats are on the side of those who accuse people of sexual assault but it's certainly a bipartisan phenomenon men in power have for a long time sought to exploit that power and gain access to other people's bodies with questionable consent and it's not just the instance in question this one supreme court seat but because the culture that it creates that feminists sometimes call rape culture a culture where it's okay if you have power to to coerce or force sexual access to another person's body because if we sweep these accusations under the rug and hurry into a supreme court nomination what does that tell women about their role in society what did electing donald trump amid such accusations tell women about their role in society what does it tell them when they experience sexual assault and what action should they take should they come forward or should they be quiet well if women who come forward are ignored and even face professional serious professional consequences then by electing donald trump by writing bill clinton a pass by confirming brett kavanaugh we tell women their experiences their stories and their body autonomy does not matter and i believe that women's control over their bodies does matter and not just women all people here's the question i hear the most this time every time why didn't she come forward sooner and that is a very difficult question for me to hear and to process even reading it now my eyes fill with tears and i feel a heaviness in my chest because why didn't she come forward is echoed by a whisper in my own mind why haven't i don't worry today's podcast will not be an exploration of my personal experience and experiences with sexual assault because i'm not ready to talk about those experiences and i may never be and i say this is a person who is open-hearted for a living but i want to tell you that the first time i was sexually assaulted i was over six feet tall that i was physically powered up powerful enough to resist almost any assailant but i didn't instead i just said no in words and i begged and i cried and it still happened and i haven't come forward because i'm ashamed i feel weak i know sometimes my parents listen to this program this would be big news to them thankfully my wife never listens to this program because this would be big news to her but i'm not ready to talk about this even with with my parents or my spouse because i'm so ashamed because i don't want to deal with what could become a public dispute over timelines and events i don't want to talk about it because i don't even know if the people and there were more than one who assaulted me even believe that they assaulted me even though i said no and even though i cried because ultimately i didn't physically resist and i was large and i was physically powerful i'm not telling you this because i want sympathy i'm actually quite strong i'm telling you this because you listen to this podcast and that means that you listen to me and you trust me and you believe me many of you have been listening to me talk for for several years now and we have quite a relationship together and i've worked hard to be honest and trustworthy to be vulnerable and available and because of that evangelical christians and atheists listen to this program because of that republicans and democrats listen to this program because of that men and women and trans folk and people of all kinds of ethnicities and racial compositions listen to this program you trust me and i believe that you'll believe me and i want you to believe me so you will believe other people who come forward i'm telling you i've experienced sexual assault more than once but more than one perpetrator decades ago and i have never come forward but i probably would if one of those people were rising to positions of power and influence over others and i definitely would if they were nominated for president or a justice on the supreme court or a senate seat because the calculus of staying quiet would change i'd be afraid of what they could do with that power and what might happen to other people i don't believe that people come forward to talk about sexual assault because they want attention the attention you receive is not validating it doesn't bring you life it opens a hole in your soul that you've been trying to fill and keep closed your whole life so i imagine much like the women coming forward now i have i've kept track of and kept tabs on the people in my life who accessed my body sexually without my consent because i haven't known what else to do and when you don't come forward five minutes later and you don't come forward an hour later or the next day or the next week you start to feel trapped because why would you come forward now if you didn't come forward immediately i actually care about the people who assaulted me i worry about their reputations i worry about the impact on their lives if i were to come forward now why does this happen half of sexual assaults involve alcohol just half and research tells us that antisocial behavior and negative views about women are much better predictors for men who will commit sexual assault than alcohol consumption which itself is also a predictor people who drink more tend to be more likely to commit sexual assault and this is a huge unbelievably huge problem i've got a piece in the huffington post here which i'll drop in the show notes this week and it has 30 statistics on sexual assault i would like to share them with you every 98 seconds someone in the u.s is sexually assaulted every day more than 570 people experience sexual violence in this country it is completely prevalent in our culture violent rape scenes occur on our tv shows and our movies we have dress codes that reinforce rape culture by telling people that how they present their body creates actions in someone else how ridiculous is that friends if a person is completely naked it doesn't invite any action on your part seventeen million seven hundred thousand is the estimated number of women who've been the victims of rape since nineteen ninety eight ninety nine percent of perpetrators of sexual violence are estimated to walk free thirteen percent of female rape survivors attempt suicide sixty-four percent of trans people will experience sexual assault in their lifetimes 64 will experience sexual assault don't talk to me about bathrooms unless you want an earful women the ages of 16 to 19 are four times more likely than the general population to be victims of tape of rape attempted rape or sexual assault female college students ages 18 to 24 are three times more likely than women in the general population to experience sexual violence one in six american women have survived an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime trans people of color are 1.8 times more likely to experience sexual violence than the general population three percent of men will be raped in their lifetime 90 percent of adult rape victims are women 321 500 is the average number of rape and sexual assault victims per year in the u.s 80 600 that's the estimated number of inmates who experience sexual violence in prison or jail every year 60 percent of the sexual violence experienced by inmates are perpetrated by jail or prison staff people with disabilities are twice as likely to be victims of sexual assault or rape than persons without a disability 600 000 is the estimated lifetime income that a sexual a violent survivor who has abused as an adolescent loses four hundred to fifteen hundred dollars is the amount of money it cost to get a rape kit tested many states force survivors to pay for the processing of their own rape kit people ages 12 to 34 the most likely to be sexually assaulted 21 of trans or gender non-conforming students are sexually assaulted while attending college 46 of bisexual women report being raped in their lifetime eighteen thousand nine hundred military service people claimed to experience unwanted sexual contact in 2014 one in seven members of the military services have experienced an assault at the hands of someone in their chain of command two million seven hundred eighty thousand is the estimated number of men who've experienced an attempted or completed rape since 1998. 5900 is the average number of native americans 12 years and older who report being sexually assaulted each year 7 in 10 rapes are committed by someone the victim knows 93 percent of child sexual abuse perpetrators know their victim depending on the study anywhere from two to ten percent of rape reports are false which means the overwhelming majority are true sexual assault is common to the point of being pervasive this is not about politics this is not about which of the two parties gets to hold the steering wheel for now we the people must send a clear and unequivocated message to every political leader that sexual assault will not be tolerated under any circumstances period full stop no questions no qualifiers we the people do not permit sexual assault and culturally we have to move away from coercion and force as regular factors in sexual activity i actually don't think no means no is enough i think only yes means yes i think it's important that we prioritize the autonomy of other people over our desires and it may be true that people think less clearly when they're aroused or when they're under the influence of alcohol or other substances and that still never excuses forcing or coercing your body onto or into another person's body ever it is never okay sexual desire is a powerful basic drive i get it but we have to as individuals and a society condition ourselves to be prepared to stop any time your partner becomes uncomfortable for any reason just as they must also do for you someone who is tipsy and falling asleep cannot offer consent someone who is uncomfortable and acquiescing cannot offer consent only a full enthusiastic verbal and continuous consent is sufficient that's it that's the bar and you might push back and say oh but it's not sexy to ask if everything's okay i don't care i don't care what is sexy or feels good moment to moment it is worth risking potential embarrassment to avoid traumatizing people sexual assault i'm so over the conversation of oh but this is so complicated shut up shut your mouth there's nothing too complicated about protecting the sanctity and autonomy of human beings if you can't get your [ \_\_ ] together don't try to have sex with people do i sound angry because i am angry every single report of sexual violence in the world is one too many every single one whether it's amidst civil war or supreme court nomination it is too much start believing and supporting victims of sexual assault start demanding institutional and organizational accountability for people who perpetuate sexual assault be that governments corporations non-profits churches whatever it is there can be no exception there can be no safe quarter in our society for people who take advantage of other people's bodies there can be no safe place for sexual assault or sexual violence because every time we allow it every time we say but what if they're lying every time we say why didn't they come forward sooner we lay another brick in a giant wall caging sexual assault victims from the rest of the world we lay another brick in a wall separating from women and trans people women of color trans people of color from their humanity and their full and equal treatment not only under the law but in our culture and our society and i for one am done laying bricks in the form of passive acceptance or plausible deniability this world is what we make it and if you take anything from this episode today i hope you take that you can be a part of building a world where sexual violence doesn't happen or you can be a part of perpetuating a world where it's common and accepted