Holidays

### Sub Arcs

Mickboi Festival, Fuckboiween, Fuckboisgiving, Happy Fuckboi Holidays, Postcards

## Description

Holiday shorts take place within the Fuckboi universe but are typically non-canon or their plots are ignored in the main story. They mainly depict the Fuckbois celebrating the holidays.

## Fuckboiween

### 2016

* **Fuckboiween-** The Fuckbois rent a cabin in the woods. After Smokey goes off into the forest alone, Nic, X, and Bigsby, are approached by Chuck, who tells them there is a serial killer and rapist that uses laced weed to ensnare and defile stoners. Smokey comes across The Weed Field Psycho and asks for directions. Coming across the laced weed field, Smokey smokes the entire field only to find himself paralyzed. He is dragged to the psycho's hideout, but the other Fuckbois intervene. In the ensuing fight, Chuck sacrifices himself for no reason. When the others catch up, they proceed to beat the psycho to death, then retire at the IHOP.
* **Cobo-Doo: Fondle me Phantom-** The Fuckbois' van breaks down on their way to anime con. Parked in front of a run down mansion, the Fuckbois are approached by Lester Crowley who tells them of a hidden fortune inside. The Fuckbois search for the fortune, doing battle with the Molester Specter, until they find the home owner's diary, which reveals the location of the treasure. After capturing the specter, who is revealed to be a run of the mill pervert, the Fuckbois take their treasure with them, only to find that Lester has stolen their van and gone to anime con without them. The boys retire once again to IHOP, and discuss an instance in which Cobo spoke.
* **Fuckboiween 3: Trick-or-Treat**- The Fuckbois gather to go trick-or-treating, but X isn't in costume. After stealing a costume from a local dumbass, the Fuckbois are approached by a masked stranger (who is actually the Molester Specter) and then proceed to go hit blind people with a shopping cart instead.

### 2017

* **Fucktober Fest 2017-** A month long event run by The Carnies, Fucktober Fest featured a variety of games, shorts and events.
	+ **The Fortune Teller's Tale-** Bigsby plays with a paper boat made by Smokey before losing it in the sewer. When he goes to retrieve it, he encounters Pennywise The Sewer Hooker/Dancing Clown, who sexually harasses Bigsby before telling him dirty secrets. Due to Bigsby's short attention span, he survives this encounter.
	+ **Ancient Legend: Wolf-** Smokey is attacked by a werewolf during the full moon, and scratched on the eye. Upon seeing his attacker, Smokey cannot help but roast the wolf-man for being dressed in grunge. Smokey then goes to IHOP before turning into a werewolf while ordering a Grand Slamwich. It is revealed that the Fuckbois are actually playing a board game and Smokey is telling a story.
	+ **Legend of Sweeney Hollow-** Sweeney reenacts the "Legend of Sleepy Hollow" for L'Artiste, however, he cannot remember the story due to getting drunk the night before. The Fuckbois fill in the story. Roger Chunt attempts to woo the fair Katrina, but is turned down despite his charming pick up line. When returning home, Roger gets lost in Martin Luther King Jr.'s sex dungeon before almost being run over by a horseman. When Roger looks upon the horseman, he notices the horseman's missing horse and proceeds to run in fear. He escapes across a bridge before being utterly attacked by the B52's popular song, Rock Lobster.
	+ **Nope-** The Fuckbois each react to a popular horror plot (Get Out, The RIng, Don't Breathe, Annabelle) by applying simple rationality.
	+ **Fucktober Meme Down 2017-** The Fuckbois take Gerard les Memes Meme Strength Test to determine who has the strongest memes. In the end, Nic is declared the winner.
	+ **Fuckboi Friday the 13th-** Nic Jarvis, Bigsby Kensington, X "Bugzy" Wilson, and Kenny Smokes are all hanging out in their cabin at Camp Fuckanogawog in 1978, when a mysterious killer knocks on the door. Upon opening the door, Nic is hit by a throwing knife before casually informing the other Fuckbois to run. Bigsby, afraid to die with poor people, is struck on the head by a pickaxe as he runs out the door, and threatens to sue the killer before dying. X jumps through the window, and is called an idiot by Kenny who is then strangled by the killer and cant remember his safe word. Trying to escape by canoe, X is then pulled underwater and drowned.
	+ **Fuckboi Pumpkin Carving-** The Fuckbois carve Native American themed pumpkins.
	+ **Fucktober Festival-** The Fuckbois arrive at the festival and participate in a number of events, including getting their fortunes told, faces painted, memes tested and buying food. In the ticket lottery, X wins a prize of 20 tickets.
	+ **Fuckboi Stranger Things-** A scientist is attacked by an unknown force, and killed inside an elevator. The Fuckbois are playing DND at Smokey's house before Smokey kicks them out at the behest of what the others assumed to be his mom (it wasn't his mom). When riding home, X leaves to go cleanse his soul. Bigsby later leaves after discussing a plan for the four of them to eat one of everything on the Taco Bell menu. Meanwhile, a local IHOP manager and pedophile attempts to kick out a young girl named "69" who is eating pizza in his kitchen. The young girl escapes as the manager is attacked by the same unknown force from before. On his own, singing "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks," Nic is attacked by a shadowy figure in the dark. After activating his "Enough is enough" henshin, Nic is blind-sided by the figure, which reveals itself to be the Wiener Boy. The next day at school, the Fuckbois are informed of Nic's disappearance and go off into the woods to search for him. The short ends when Bigsby spots 69 trying to get their attention.
	+ **Festez' Murder Mystery-** The Fuckbois are invited to the Fucktober ball at the estate. Upon meeting Sweeney's wife (who looks exactly like Sweeney but in a dress), they all play a game of charades. The game is cut short when the lights go out and Sweeney's wife is believed to be murdered. Festez locks the door, not allowing anyone to leave until the murderer and his accomplice are caught. After much deliberation, Smokey deduces that it must have been Nic and Patchsuit Joe. Nic confesses, laying out a whole murder plot at the shock of the other Fuckbois, before revealing that he is "just fucking with them," and that Mrs. Sweeney just slipped on an ice cube. Festez concludes with a Twilight Zone outro.
	+ **Ancient Legend: Crossroads-** X is travelling to a village hoping to reach it before he dies of a curse, when he comes across a stranger sitting at a crossroad. The stranger reveals to X that he is a demon, and will grant X immortality if he promises to give his soul in return. X hastily agrees and the two go to IHOP. While X is ordering, the demon plays with his silverware (which are, in fact, sentient and in love) and accidentally kills X with the spoon, turning X into a demon. X then wakes up in the library, revealing the whole thing was a dream, before checking his phone to see his friends discussing anime.
	+ **Halloween at the Penthouse-** X, Bigsby, and Smokey all wait at the penthouse Halloween party that only Nic was invited to. Nic shows up in costume, despite it not being a costume party, and gets embarrassed. The Fuckbois then run into Edgar Jamison, a local douche bag, and have to listen to his bullshit. When Oliver Saevtheewoerld arrives (also in costume), the Fuckbois panic and hide in Nic's fight zone. X employs the help of Sia, who tells Oliver that Edgar Jamison hates Panera Bread. Oliver tosses Jamison from the penthouse, then goes to take a nap on the couch. Seeing their opportunity, the Fuckbois steal all the food and return to HQ and have a party of their own. This short won the Oscar Meyer Wiener for best short.
	+ **Ancient Legends: The Bog-** Nic gets lost in a bog while taking a shortcut to meet Bigsby for lunch. Nic is pulled into the water by the Bog Ghost who has been haunting the bog for over 200 years. Planning on not being trapped forever, Nic leaves, because the ghost only has Uno for entertainment. Later at IHOP, Nic reveals that he has no pulse and doesn't feel anything. Bigsby helps him discover that he has, in fact, dyed his hair white and turned into a ghost. Nic then becomes a ghost that butters a lot of toast before the short is cut by Sweeney due to a poor script.
	+ **Cobo-Doo: What's Mine is Mine, Bitch-** The mystery gang returns when the Fuckbois get lost on their way to anime con, due to Smokey getting too high to read the map. The Fuckbois stop in Gold City, a mining ghost town, where they come across Lester Crowley again. Lester offers them room for the night, before telling them about a local ghost that's been haunting the town and driving everyone away looking for gold. The ghost, referred to now as the "Miner 69er" is just the Molester Specter. Meanwhile, Bigsby is continuously self deprecating for no apparent reason. The other 4 Fuckbois enter the mine and find the ghost immediately, and bowl him Wii Sports Resort 2007 style with Cobo's head. The Fuckbois exit the mine with the gold (which is just the Nintendo Switch and Switch accessories), when they find Bigsby alone, still self deprecating. When Smokey finally asks what the reason for it is, Bigsby tells them that he forgot that the anime con was the week after and that Lester had stolen the van again. Nic, Smokey, and X proceed to curb stomp Bigsby while Cobo powers up eating Cobo Snacks (Cool Ranch Doritos).

### 2018

* **Fuckboiween 2018-** The Fuckbois are camping. After a long boring story about the failures of Ubisoft by Bigsby, the Fuckbois resolve to each tell a scary story.
	+ **Fuckboistein (X's Story)-** Dr. Fuckboistein (X) creates a monster (Bigsby) and tells his hunchback assistant (Smokey) to pull the switch to bring it to life. When the monster awakes complaining about Ubisoft, the lab is rushed by an angry mob (led by Nic).
	+ **Paranormal Activity: The Fucked Ones (Nic's Story)-** Nic is running a 24 hour Pokemon Twitch stream when he notices his Mario Amiibo is floating. He is then tormented by ghosts doing nefarious things like stealing his Switch and cutting his Pokemon cards.
	+ **Goosesfucks: The Return of Bill Cosby (Smokey's Story)-** The Fuckbois steal a magic gumball believed to contain the soul of Harambe. After Bigsby eats it, it is instead revealed to be the soul of Bill Cosby who proceeds to take over Bigsby's body. After being immediately shot by Nic, it is revealed Bigsby is alive and simply went to get a soda.
	+ **Cobo Doo: That Blow Ghost (Bigsby's Story)-** After driving to a remote ski lodge for Anime Con, the Fuckbois are once again greeted by Lester Crowley, who again tells the Fuckbois about a ghost known as the "Blow Ghost" (the original Molester Specter) that does lots of cocaine and touches little boys. He also mentions the ghost is guarding a treasure and despite their best efforts, the Fuckbois still go searching for it, simply accepting their van will be stolen again. After entering an ice cave, the Fuckbois immediately find the Blow Ghost, who is subsequently shot by Smokey. The Fuckbois take the treasure and quickly rush back to curb stomp Lester Crowley before he can steal the van again.

The short concludes with Sweeney coming out of the woods to scare Nic, X, and Smokey.

## Fuckboisgiving

### 2016

* **Fuckboisgiving 2016-** The Fuckboigrims arrive via the Mayfuckboi in the New World. They proceed to build a life for themselves, signing the Fuckboi Compact and building a home, until Bigsby is accused of being a witch and nearly burned at the stake. The Fuckbois escape, being chased by an angry mob. They meet a Native boy who takes them back to his village. The village offers them food, but after the chief finds X flirting with his daughter, the Fuckbois are chased out of the village a barrage of arrows at their backs. The Fuckbois retreat to IHOP and agree to never go to the Renaissance Festival again.

### 2017

* **Fuckboisgiving 2017-** The Fuckbois convene at Nic's house to eat dinner when Nic introduces the idea of an eating contest, where the loser will be subjected to "the usual". Bigsby, at a disadvantage, hides his food in his fight zone but is quickly caught and proclaimed the loser. Bigsby is then hunted down by the other Fuckbois while dressed in a turkey costume.

### 2018

* **Fuckboisgiving 2018-** The Fuckbois face off against the Puritan, a European colonist wielding the power of the Plymouth Rock. When the battle seems all for naught, the wise native Chief uses the power of his ancestors to destroy the Puritan. The Fuckbois return to IHOP for dinner.

## Happy Fuckboi Holidays

### 2016

* **Happy Fuckboi Holidays 2016-** After crashing Santa's sleigh, the Fuckbois build toys for him to pay it off. When they find Santa collapsed, out of magic, the Fuckbois decide that they need to save Christmas. Compiling a team of X (Santa), Bigsby (Mrs. Claus), Nic (The Elf), and Smokey (Rudolph), the Fuckbois deliver all of Santa's presents and make the children believe again. The Fuckbois return to the North Pole and are thanked by Santa and Mrs. Claus. When flying back, X finds the Statue of Liberty in a half destroyed state, and falls to his knees yelling "You Bastards!" Bigsby and Smokey, who were watching the short as a movie on New Year's Eve are not impressed. X and Nic tell them the countdown is about to start. As they count down to 1 from 5, the logo for That 80's Show appears. The Fuckbois are then seen celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years and Shogatsu.

### 2017

* **How The Nic Stole Christmas**- The mean Nic lives on the mountain overlooking Fuckboiville, a town chalked full of Christmas spirit. Annoyed by their enthusiasm, the Nic resolves to dress up as Santa (with Cobo as his side kick) and rob the Fuckbois of all of their stuff. Caught by Bigsby Lou Who, Nic throws Cobo like a rock to knock him out. Despite robbing all the Fuckbois' presents and food, he is still disappointed when he still hears the Fuckbois singing Bowling For Soup's single "1985". Nic decides to return the things he stole, only to find that letting a sleigh full of stuff slide down a mountain at full speed will kill a lot of people. Bigsby Lou Who develops penile cancer. The story concludes with the story teller telling all the kids to go fuck themselves.

### 2018

* **A Smokey Christmas (CANON)-** In the first confirmed canon holiday short, Smokey resides in the village of Kyoto. He makes his way to town to buy incense, when he is mugged. Defeating the mugger easily, he lets him go an continues on his journey. He arrives at the burnt part of the village, with painful memories of Aiko surfacing. He travels deep into the woods until he arrives to meet Sensei at the offering site for his children, and the two offer incense together.
* **8 Knights of Hanukkah (CANON)-** Bigsby, while searching for worldly wisdom during the Festival of Lights in Jerusalem, sends Nic a letter, detailing the history of his knighthood.

## Mickboi St. Patrick's Day

### 2018

* **Mickboi Festival**- A week-long festival run by The Carnies celebrating St. Patrick's Day and Irish culture stereotypes. The festival featured three competitions of collecting shamrocks, with X being declared Greeny Boy 2018, alcoholic beverages, with Smokey being declared Drinky Boy 2018, and gold coins coated in biohazardous material, with Nic being declared Goldy Boy 2018. Sweeney and Mrs. Sweeney ran the festival, Gerard returned for Irish themed meme challenges, Festez tended the Fairgrounds Tavern, the Fortune Teller made up personalized legends, L'Artiste sold weaponry, and Patchsuit Joe ran tavern games and card pulls. Two new carnies, Greenie and Cuckles, ran the Pot-o-Luck and gave out balloons respectively.
	+ **The Tale of St. Patrick**- This short comic gave background into the life of the patron saint of Ireland, St. Patrick.
	+ **Greenie's Gab Jab**- Greenie the Leprechaun ran an Irish insult competition, presenting X with the "Up Yours" trophy.

## Postcards

Postcards are story-less, one page pictures that depict the Fuckbois celebrating a holiday.

### 2017

* **Happy Fuckboi Easter/Passover** (4/16)
* **Happy Fuckboi 4/20** (4/20)
* **May The Fuckboi Be With You** (5/4)
* **Happy Fuckboi 4th** (7/4)
* **Fucktober Festival Postcards** (10/31)

### 2018

* **Happy Fuckboi New Year** (1/1)
* **Mickboi Festival Postcards** (3/17)