Chonobi Weddings

An important part of the Chonobi culture are their weddings. The rituals and traditions around weddings can differ among each region but in general, Chonobi weddings are a festive event. There are some exceptions where weddings are short and simple - usually when it is simply an arrangement between two families. Or when the families don't want or cannot spend enough on a wedding. What is important to know is that there are various process and factors that play in a Chonobi wedding, that will do more than continue a lineage or two. Politics and religion play a vital part in weddings.

When two Chonobi wants to wed, they have to request the blessing of their families. This is usually the oldest male member or having the highest political-social position. This is because weddings aren't just the legal binding between two individuals but are considered the union between two families. Thus the origin of the phrase: *"Let us join houses"*. Once blessing has been asked, the families begin negotiations. The families will determine the bride's downry, the groom's financial assets, the date of the wedding and what wedding gifts will come from the groom's parents.

Where it is quite common that planning weddings can take a long time, it is interesting and not uncommon that Chonobi weddings can easily take up a year or longer before they are held.

## Importance of the Date

Setting the date for a Chonobi wedding is a little process of its own. Not to mention that it can differ from each region and clans. Some might set Friday as the day to be wed on while others might consider Monday the traditional day to be wed on. This is usually negotiated between the mothers and grandmothers, usually bringing priests or seers that will join the negotiations.

Then there is the importance of the season. Most weddings are held during Spring, for the symbolic interpretation of the newlywed having a new start. It is also more practical with the weather for when snows start to plague the land, relatives as invitees from far away will have trouble travelling. And historically, during Summer, raid as trading expeditions were held wherein Autumn most were contending for the harvests.

## Importance of Religion

Despite various differences and customs when it comes to their religion, the gods and ancestors hold an important place for the Chonobi with their weddings. Rituals are being held to request the blessing of the gods as ancestors. These requests are conducted by the oldest female relative of both families where the favour of the gods is curried by a priest, seer or the local authority.

These rituals are different from each region but traditionally the groom and bride have to undergo a three days fasting. This is to teach the groom and bride to ready for tough times. More so, groom and bride are required to spend three full days in each other company. When they break contact, the ritual has to start all over again. For it is said that the gods or ancestors won't quite be eager to extend their blessings when a union is fragile or bound to fail.

## Importance of Social-Politics

The stature of families, the prestige of lineage founders and financial assets are quite important. Before it is agreed by families to allow a wedding to be held, these are being discussed during the initial negotiations. When one family considers that the other family is not of high enough stature or unable to bring enough financial assets, it can be one of the reasons why a wedding won't be held.

A tradition for many Chonobi is that the male relative is to seal the wedding. This seems rather innocent but in the past has led to many negotiations to strand and be declined when families were of the same standing. Only since a recent century or two have many regions adopted that the oldest male of either the groom or bride has to seal the wedding.

## The Rituals of the Groom

The rituals that the grooms have to face are much different than from the bride. It is usually focused on their vocation. For example, a hunter has to bring down a large animal to provide his worth and capability to take care of his future family. Whereas a smith has to craft something that can be considered excellent. The judges whether the groom is capable or not is deigned worthy by the bride's mother. In case that the mother is indisposed or unable, another suitable candidate has to be found.

Another common tradition is that the groom has to break into the grave of an ancestor to retrieve their weapon, which was placed there by his attendants. In order to obtain the weapon, the groom would be considered to have shed his former life. Once coming back with the respective weapon, the groom would be considered ready for the responsibilities that will come with the pending union.

Then the groom will go to a bathhouse to symbolically wash away his bachelor status, purifying himself for the wedding ceremony. Accompanied by his father, male relatives and honorary relatives, the groom will be given insight and instruction on husbandly and fatherly duties from his attendants.

## The Rituals of the Bride

The rituals of the bride are much different from the groom. Unlike the groom, they won't have to show their competence in what they have chosen as a vocation. Instead, they are given the task to watch as to take care of a young relative for an entire week. The judge whether the bride is capable to raise future children of the groom will the mother of the said groom. In case that the mother is indisposed or unable, another suitable candidate has to be found.

When deemed suitable, the bride will be given the tokens that will bind the future couple. These tokens are given by the groom's father and can range from jewellery to tools, weapons. The bride has to carry these for a day with her before giving them to her mother or father. These will undergo the task to safeguard the tokens until the wedding.  Once that is done, the bride undergoes the same bathhouse ritual as the groom.

## Wedding Rituals

The wedding itself is not an event for just a day. Usually, the weddings last for a week. During those days, relatives as invitees are welcomed and giving lodging to rest and spend time together. Already during the gathering and arrival of guests, feasts are held. This is per tradition of many regions done in the hall of the groom's father or when not having the required space, the groom's father has to arrange the lodgings and hall in which the feasts are held.

When the wedding finally is being held, the Chonobi hold an importance on where it is held. A sacred spot, which usually involves an oak tree, is the traditional wedding place. But in situations such as in cities, an alternative is near the house of the groom (or a relative of his).

Clothing is relatively the same within the regions of the Chonobi clans and culture. Unlike some other clans and cultures, the Chonobi brides don't wear a gown and in many regions, they don't even wear ornamented dresses. Instead, the ornamental focus is set on the hair and crown. The bridal crown is typically a family heirloom that is in the place of a gown. These crowns are typically made of silver adorned with rock-crystals and elaborate designs such as crosses and clover leaves, and draped with red and green garland silk cords. However, because this isn't cheap many alternatives are in use to represent a bridal crown.

The ceremony is often in stark contrast with the feasts and activities that predate or follow the ceremony. A complete silence has to be held while the bride is being guided with a blindfold towards the groom. The groom has then to remove the blindfold from the bride as the start of the ceremony.

Once the ceremony starts, the bride receives the weapon that the groom had to retrieve during his own rituals. This sword will be kept by the bride for any future sons she might bear. In return, the bride then gifts the groom with a weapon of her own ancestors, symbolizing a transfer of a father’s protection of a bride to the husband. This gift exchange symbolized sacred union, sanctified by mystic rites.

Gifting one of the tokens to the groom, the bride and groom have to hold each other hands. The sealer of the wedding will loosely wrap both hands in a fetter made of linen or wool.

What follows differs with each wedding. Some families as regions have their own customs where bride and groom make a vow. Whereas other families and regions might have the tradition that the sealer of the wedding dips a small branch of an oak tree in water and sprinkles the bride and groom.

The ending is, however, the same in general. The fetter will be removed by the sealer as the bride then receives the tokens that symbolize the marriage ties between her and the groom. Thus heralding the bride and groom as husband and wife.

Another general tradition of the wedding is what is called 'Audhild's Promise'. Apparently, when the gods Akumu and Audhild wed, the latter made the promise that he would be allowed to consummate the wedding when they would drink her beverage. So to this day, both groom and bride are required to drink a heavy alcoholic beverage, a honey-based mead. This drink is only brewed for weddings and considered a sacrilege, provoking Audhild's wrath.

When both groom and bride have drunk one mug filled with the beverage, they are required to be carried to their chamber by attendants. At the first night, no witnesses are required to witness the consummation. Only when the groom informs the father of the bride that there was no consummation, will there be a second ritual where at least six witnesses have to observe the deed. However, this can also happen when vice versa with the bride informing the groom's father. If this won't happen, it is said that the gods and ancestors will be heavily displeased - cursing the bride or groom's family for the next ten generations.

## Activities during the weddings

Various activities are hosted before, during and after the wedding. As it is usually a week in which festive events are held, there are competitions held. Such as archery, sailing, horse riding and fencing. But several weddings have more jovial competitions such as drinking, singing and eating competitions. More often than not, various other activities will be hosted and managed to entertain guests.

Certain other activities are and can be:

* *Slip for a slipper:*

This activity is usually held when there is a large pond or body of water nearby. A woman will drop or throw her shoe into the water - that is usually made murky to obscure where the piece of garment is. Her 'hero' has then to dive into the body of water after a minute to retrieve the garment. Once having found the shoe, the said 'hero' has to return the garment to the lady in question. How the 'hero' will be rewarded is up to the lady in question.

* *Spin the Wheel*

A wooden construction that requires a couple attending to the wedding. A wheel that is spun with many options and objectives on display will be spun. When the wheel stops spinning, a pointer will mark what the participating couple has to do. This can range from singing a song to the participating couple to kiss.