Stage Directions

Too many stage directions confuses actors.

Matt and Mallory practice for the upcoming play with their stage director. Watch as they try to take her critiques to make the play "perfect".

## Plot

The sketch opens with Matt Meese and Mallory Everton meeting each other in the coulisses for a movie they're starring in as Thatcher (Matt) and Marguerite (Mal). The two of them discuss their director, and claim to have never seen her before. The director, Valencia (Whitney Call), arrives, addresses the actors by their character names, and begins to help them rehearse Scene 3, Page 24 in their scripts. All they need to do is act out the scene, while miming props.

The scene begins with Thatcher gazing into his house's fireplace while swirling a glass of brandy, which Valencia makes Matt swirl hugely. Marguerite then walks in clutching a live ferret, which confuses Mal. When Matt tries speaking, Valencia tells him to mime smoking a cigar while swirling the brandy. Mal, as Marguerite, tells Thatcher that their son is dead, before heading over to a duffel bag on the floor, and pulling out a dead body. Valencia then reveals than an actor named Jeremy Warner is in the bag, playing the body. Marguerite then tells Thatcher that they need to destroy the evidence of his death, including a really heavy bowling ball, which Mal has to mime holding by the finger holes like it's incredibly heavy, and while still petting the ferret.

Matt and Mal are then supposed to push Jeremy to where the fireplace is while pretending to wipe away tears, but Valencia complicates this by forcing them to keep miming the props, forcing them to use their bodies to push Jeremy, who is now doing a ridiculous terror pose. When they finally make it, Thatcher gazes into the fire for one last look at his son, only to burst into flames, which Valencia claims they can get the effect for by setting Matt ablaze. Matt begins rolling on the ground like he's on fire, and Mal is required to mime using a blanket to put out the fire, which is being played by Jeremy. Valencia still forces the two actors to mime the props, making the scene look ridiculous.

At that point, the two have had enough and question Valencia on what people will think of the movie if they do it her way, with Mal pointing out that Valencia's making the film look silly by making her fight a flaming man while clutching a ferret and a bowling ball, when it would be better to put them down. Matt then points out that the film isn't a comedy, but rather a drama movie for children. Upon realizing that they have a point, Valencia decides to skip the scene and move onto scene 4, with Jeremy playing the meteor and unsuspecting traffic cop. Mal then reads that Marguerite will enter as a robot and fly, much to her chagrin. The sketch ends with her reluctantly acting this out, while still clutching the ferret and bowling ball at Valencia's request.

## Trivia

* This is the last sketch of Season 1 Episode 4.
	+ This is also the longest sketch (in duration) of Season 1 Episode 4.
* Jason Gray is credited to have appeared in this sketch, but he doesn't.
	+ This makes it the only sketch of Season 1 Episode 4 where he doesn't play in it; he has a voice-only role in Man of Interest.
* This is the third sketch in Season 1 Episode 4 to be written by Whitney (Call) Meek, after Dana's Dead Tongue Twister and Man of Interest.
* This is the twentieth sketch in which Matt Meese is featured.