Episode 28: "Nature's Pocket" (w/Chingy!)

*This week we’re joined by writer/actress/better-bottom-than-you Chingy to talk the Polish mermaid musical THE LURE! That’s right, a movie straight from the Criterion Collection! Don’t be fooled, this conversation will NOT be elegant or proper in any way, shape, or form.   Mark brings some hard Hans Christian Anderson truths, Nay is cursed with an incredible sense of smell, and Michael breaks his previous speed record for Friends references.   Plus, in Tea Time we sip on THE ICE CREAM MAN, ASH IS PUREST WHITE, a Disney movie marathon, and THE ACT! [1][2]*

## **Trivia**

Nay is extremely excited about the guest for this episode and can't even wait the normal amount of time to introduce them.

Topics brought up during the episode: The end of *Crazy Ex-girlfriend*, monthly queer dance party at Faultline called "Mommy Issues"

## **Tea Time**

**Nay:** *Bloody Birthday; Bloody New Year*; *Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II*; *The Ice Cream Man*

**Michael:** *The Act* (Hulu)

**Mark:** *Knife + Heart*, *Ash Is Purest White*, *The Entity*

**Chingy:**

## **Pride Float**

**Nay:** Well, would you give it a Pride float? If you could give this movie a Pride float, would you give it to them?

**Michael:** Do they warrant one?

**Chingy:** I'm gonna be honest. I don't go to a Pride parade very often!

**Nay:** Oh. Yeah. No. I think we're all on that page

**Chingy:** I'm trying to think, deserving a float

**Michael:** It's good, 'coz you don't wanna compare it to L.A. Pride

**Chingy:** I was like, I grew up here. Yeah.

**Mark:** I don't know that this movie necessarily-- actually. you know what it is? Yes I do.

**Michael:** I do too

**Mark:** Since the movie can be viewed to be a trans allegory in some way shape or form, then I think yes it does deserve a Pride float because it actually handles that and more with so much integrity and sensitivity and humor, and I dunno, I think it's so great. So yes, I would think that it deserved one. What do you guys think?

**Michael:** I think it does, too

**Chingy:** Yeah! It would just be like, all fish tails, kind of

**Mark:** Ooooh!

**Chingy:** Just like lonnnnnng

**Mark:** Flapping?

**Michael:** (sotto voce) Fish pussy

**Chingy:** That's just all of it, yeah. With random holes in random sides, yeah

**Mark:** Just flapping?

**Michael:** Or the big martini glass filled with water

**Nay:** Oh! I *love* that fucking Dita Von Teese look

**Chingy:** Everyone loves that

**Michael:** Mmm-hmm

**Mark:** And just "I Feel Love" just blasting from the, I mean...

**Michael:** Yeah

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** From the slit

**Nay:** Yeah. Well, *The Daughters of Dance Party*--

**Chingy:** Yeah, that's the--

**Nay:** That's the, what is that, is that the other title?

**Chingy:** *Córki dancingu*

**Michael:** That was the alternate title of the movie?

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** Oh, cool

**Nay:** I'm like, well, 'coz you know I love to give a movie a party, a Pride party versus like, a float

**Chingy:** See, there you go

**Nay:** 'Cause I'll go to a party, and I'm like, "Daughters of Dance Party", I would go to that

**Mark:** That would be a damn good dance party

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** If I saw a party during Pride that said, "Daughters of Dance Party", I'd be like, "Hell yeah I'm going to that."

**Nay:** Yeah. Exactly

**Chingy:** It's like, yeah

**Mark:** And it would be like a, bring your shitty male ex and just feed them to--

**Chingy:** And *eat* him!

**Michael:** And the other thing about that party is you know no straight people would go

**Nay:** I mean, we can *hope*

**Michael:** Yeah, to like, yuck our yum, you know?

**Mark:** Oh God, the expression! It (indistinct) on me

**Chingy:** The part in the movie where they're like dressed like Marilyn Manson vikings?

**Mark:** Yes! No, it's like *The Matrix!* **Oh my God, It's wild!**

**Michael:** It's jarring!

**Nay: *I love it!***

**Michael:** It's like, "Where the fuck did this come from?"

**Chingy:** That scene is great because it's just like everyone who goes to that bar is either an old-ass white dude or his wife or his mistress

**Mark:** Yeah

**Chingy:** And watching them all, I'm like, "I love every extra in this!" 'Cause they were all just going off!

**Nay:** They went for it, yeah

**Michael:** Really quick, how about when Golden sings with the merman and his band

**Chingy:** Oh, Triton?

**Nay:** (laughs) Yeah

**Michael:** And then she's all excited afterwards because he's like, "You know, you could do better." What did he say as they walked offstage?

**Mark:** No, yeah.

**Michael:** "You've got work to do."

**Mark:** Yeah. "You've got a lot of work to do."

**Michael:** She's *so* insulted. She's like, "*Fuck you.*"

**Mark:** She's just like, "Really? That busted-ass Triton?"

**Nay:** I love Golden

**Chingy:** I love her so much

**Mark:** She really is the heroine of the movie overall

**Chingy:** Yeah, she is

**Nay:** Definitely

**Michael:** I'd cast Heather Matarazzo in the American remake

**Nay:** Hmmmm

## **Quotes**

**Nay:** The most amazing bio I've ever read in my life. I'm gonna get right to it

**Chingy:** Thank you

**Nay:** Chingy, a.k.a "The Gay Chingy" is a columnist, comedienne, screenwriter and bottom of *extraordinary* ability based out of Los Angeles and Oakland, California. Chingy's work focuses on subjects of queer culture, female sexual expression, LGBTQ media representation and BDSM education and has been featured at Autostraddle, Out Magazine, Vice and Buzzfeed. She is also a much better bottom than you. In 2018, Chingy was a featured writer at Lambda Lit Fest where she wrote and starred in *Dom Com*, a workplace dramedy focusing on the lives of queer sex workers in the San Francisco Bay Area. She has also recently launched a blog called."The Bottom's Line" where she discusses sex, dating, BDSM and pop culture as it relates to queers and we'll let you know where on the internet you can find her today. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, Chingy

**Michael:** That *is* a good bio.

**Nay:** It is, *right?*

**Michael:** *Dom Com*? I need to look that up

**Mark:** I know. *Dom Com*. I actually did not know that part--

**Michael:** I didn't either

**Mark:** I had read a bio that did not include that and now I'm like, "*Dom Com,* gonna write that one down."

**Michael:** (saying it as he writes it down) *Dom… Com…*

**Chingy:** So a romantic dom comedy, yeah

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** I think it's important to put down your own work when you (indistinct)

**Chingy:** Yeah, it's really important

**Mark:** (laughing) It's stupid, it's really….

**Mark:** (to Chingy) I was really excited that you picked this (movie)

**Nay:** You were excited immediately

**Mark:** Well, yeah 'coz I was like, "Oh! Criterion! Classy! I like her already!"

**Nay:** Yeah, if you can impress Mark with a movie, you know what? You're impressive. That's what that means

**Mark:** We had a guest recently who's forthcoming who was like, "This movie!" And I was like, (bored) "Really? All right."

**Nay:** Mark's a bitch.

**Mark:** You know what?

**Michael:** You don't got time for anything

**Mark:** You know what? I just-- come on

**Chingy:** So I used to work at a movie theater in Oakland, and we were a second-run theater, and I was the curator. And I would always try and pick the *gayest* movies I could find. The gayest and the horror-iest. That's a word

**Mark:** What were some of the ones that you were most proud of getting away with?

**Chingy:** I got away with *Party Monster*, which was fun. I got away with *Teeth*, which nobody came to.

**Michael:** Oh, no!

**Chingy:** I like promised a big crowd for *Teeth,* **nobody showed up**

**Michael:** I **love** *Teeth*

**Chingy:** It's so good

**Nay:** I love *Teeth*

**Mark:** *Party Monster* is a weird movie

**Michael:** It's a wild film

**Chingy:** It's a *weird* movie

**Mark:** (as X from *Party Monster*) "Scriddly-do!"

**Chingy:** It is a *weird* movie. *Everybody* came for that one, which I was like, "Yeah."

**Mark:** Of course they did

**Michael:** No one came for *Teeth*?

**Chingy:** No one came for *Teeth*. And some people left during it, which I understand. It's a very intense movie. But it was around the same summer that *The Handmaiden* came out, which is another great really gay movie and I was like, "We need to get this one 'cause it's weird and there's cannibal mermaid whatever." I was just-- so I've seen, before now I've seen bits of it. I watched it in its entirety the other night and it's weird.

**Mark:** (as X from *Party Monster*) "Scriddly-do!"

**Nay:** I actually watched so many movies 'coz I was at my friend's house in New Hampshire

**Michael:** I know

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** I was followin' along

**Nay:** I watched *Bloody Birthday*

**Brennan:** Hell yeah

**Nay:** *Bloody New Year*

**Brennan:** Oooh!

**Nay:** *Prom Night II*

**Michael:** (sighs) *Hello Mary Lou*

**Nay:** and *Ice Cream Man*

**Mark:** *Damn*

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** You went on a tear

**Nay:** I *know!*

**Michael:** Did you watch *The Ice Cream Man* with Clint Howard, Ron Howard's brother?

**Nay:** Yes

**Michael:** *Oh, **girl***

**Nay:** Yes, I *know*. Yo, they do him so dirty all the time. Why is that man always playing these roles?

**Michael:** I just think he's like, "This is my thing. I've cornered the market."

**Chingy:** "I've done this since I was a child."

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** Yeah

**Michael:** I like *Ice Cream Man*

**Nay:** Oh, I *love* it

**Brennan:** What was your number one of that slate?

**Nay:** You know, I was thinking about that earlier today, and I *think* it's *Ice Cream Man*, but at a very close second, *Prom Night II*

**Brennan:** Hell yeah. Okay, I was waiting for that answer, thank you so much

**Nay:** I **love** *Prom Night II*

**Brennan:** The rocking-horse *blinks its eyes*?

**Mark:** I love *Prom Night II*

**Nay:** That horse? That nasty fucking horse? I loved it, yeah

**Mark:** It's really fun in *Prom Night II* that Mary Lou is such an asshole

**Nay:** Yes

**Brennan:** Oh yeah!

**Michael:** She is

**Nay:** Yes

**Mark:** She's such an unrepentant asshole, like she's a truly unappealing character and I was like, "That's admirable."

**Nay:** That's funny 'coz I was like, "Kind of appealing!"

**Michael:** I haven't seen it in a long time.

**Nay:** "Kind of like it!"

**Michael:** Yeah. Just kind of like remember smug and Mary Lou

**Nay:** *Yes*

**Mark:** Mmm-hmm.

**Michael:** Just being, "All right, I'm in."

**Mark:** Also Canada made it

**Michael:** First one, too

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** Not too shabby.

**Michael:** I started watching *The Act* on Hulu

**Mark:** Oh God

**Michael:** So it's-- (to Nay) Do you know what this is?

**Nay:** No

**Michael:** Okay, so it's created by--

**Mark:** It's so grim

**Michael:** Nick Antosca, and I can't remember who he co-created it with, but Nick worked on *Hannibal* and he created *Channel Zero* and he co-created this, and it's true-life crime. It's gonna be like an anthology series and they're gonna take a weird crime that happened in real life and do it as a show each season. And they're doing Dee Dee Blanchard and Gypsy Blanchard, did you ever hear that story?

**Nay:** Mmm-hmm

**Michael:** Yeah. And it's like, it's *really* hard to watch because it's so on point. And Joey King-- like I love Chloë Sevigny, I love Patricia Arquette, they're always great in everything, but Joey King is like I almost feel like I'm watching the real  Gypsy Blanchard

**Mark:** The HBO doc *Mommy Dead and Dearest* is--

**Michael:** Oh, so good

**Mark:** So, Chingy you ever see that?

**Chingy:** I have not seen that

**Mark:** Okay, that is, I made it through about thirty minutes. And it's a very well-made doc

**Michael:** It is

**Mark:** There's something *so*--

**Michael:** Horrific

**Mark:** Deeply, deeply unsettling about the story that involves Munchausen-by-proxy, (sotto voce) which I live for!

**Chingy:** See, that's the thing. That is why I have not seen any of these things. I avoid things that involve Munchausen-by-proxy it just scares...

**Michael:** Yeah, I can't-- I don't know why because it's such an awful thing

**Chingy:** I get it

**Michael:** But like, I can't get enough of the stuff about it

**Chingy:** Yeah!

**Michael:** Lifetime is doing a movie about this same case and the trailer is amazing!

**Mark:** Oh, wow. They are?

**Michael:** Yeah, it's like-- and it's Marcia Gay Harden

**Chingy:** *Oohh!*

**Michael:** Playing Dee Dee Blanchard--

**Mark:** Oh, okay

**Michael:** So I'm like, "Wait. Are we going all-- like, what version of Lifetime are we getting here?" But I'm thinking with her they're gonna go super serious. But the trailer for it is like, I remember like, having something in my hand and *throwing* it as I was watching the trailer because it was just like--

**Mark:** Oh, man

**Michael:** But Joey King, she was in the first *Conjuring* film, she was one of the daughters, she was in *Wish Upon*--

**Brennan:** She sure was!

**Michael:** What else, Brennan, I'm sure…

**Brennan:** Uh! Other items of entertainment?

**Michael:** She's done a lot of horror, and she's so good in this. But it is *so* hard to watch, but I've made it through two of the three episodes so far

**Mark:** Oh, there's three episodes?

**Michael:** Three. There's gonna be ten, I think

**Mark:** Jesus!

**Michael:** Hulu does theirs once a week

**Mark:** They stretch that out to ten episodes?

**Chingy:** That's a lot, that's a lot of Munchausen-by-proxy, I'm good

**Mark:** Yeah, no. I could make it through eighty fuckin' minutes on HBO. No, I'm sorry

**Michael:** If you don't know the story, I'm not gonna spoil it, but they start at the end of the tale and then work their way-- like they flash back six years and then flash forward and stuff

**Chingy:** Okay

**Michael:** But my favorite stuff is Chloë Sevigny the whole time is just like, "You're a bitch! Fuck you!" to like everybody and it's *amazing*

**Mark:** *Okay*, now I might have to--

**Chingy:** Is she the mom in it or…?

**Michael:** She's the neighbor across the street that--

**Chingy:** Got it

**Michael:** She's great

**Mark:** Does she smoke?

**Michael:** Yes

**Mark:** (sighs) Okay, all right, I'll be watching. She smokes and cursing?

**Nay:** (laughing) "Check! Check!"

**Mark:** I like Chlöe when she does hardcore character work

**Michael:** There was another thing I wanted to bring up today, that is nothing that we were watching, but I dunno, two weeks after our show, the four of us, Chingy you weren't here

**Chingy:** I was *not*, that is true

**Michael:** Ernie was kind of showing us our demographics--

**Nay:** Oh yeah

**Michael:** Like who's listening to the show

**Mark:** Mmm-hmm

**Michael:** And it kind of circled back in my head this week, like I realized we have fans in countries where they fucking kill you for being who you are

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** And I kind of wanted to bring that up and be like, "Thank you for listening."

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** Because that's really touching. I was telling my boyfriend about it and he's like, "That's kinda…" he didn't know what to say, he was just like, "That's something." I was just like, it kinda is. So I wanted to bring it up just to say "Thank you for listening to the show."

**Nay:** Sure

**Michael:** And I don't wanna say that listening to our show is brave, but the act of what you're doing, whether it's us or any other show is brave

**Mark:** I think it's brave to listen

**Nay:** Yeah, for real

**Mark:** I think it's very brave

**Brennan:** Being true to who you are engaging with a culture that affirms that

**Mark and Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** Very true

**Michael:** I wanted to bring that up because I don't think people think about that kind of stuff when it comes to like, a podcast this stupid

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** Or if you think about anything on TV that people are torrenting in other countries and stuff, there's reasons they may be doing stuff like that, and it's kind of like a "Fuck Yeah"

**Mark:** I think that we forget the place that frivolity can have. And you know, I like to think that this is not being *exclusively* frivolous in terms of the conversations we have here. I think that, you know, we're equal parts frivolous *and* also heartfelt--

**Michael:** Agreed!

**Mark:** And sometimes we can get into some real nitty-gritty stuff, when we're covering a movie that deserves it

**Chingy:** Like *The Lure*?

**Mark:** Turn away, *Sleepaway Camp*

**Michael:** I will never forget, "Just a combination of mean and horny"

**Mark:** Yeah

**Michael:** Mark's brilliant. Anyway

**Mark:** Awww! But you know, it's important, especially whether you live here, whether you live in, please I hope you don't, Brunei, or Russia or what-have-you, any other place inhospitable to queerness, you know, I think it's important to know that you're not alone and--

**Michael:** Yeah, we hear you

**Mark:** It's really, it is really-- when you read about you know, sharia law being so, so deep set in Brunei that stonings--

**Michael:** I know

**Mark:** The news that-- for listeners who are not au courant on this--

**Michael:** Up to speed

**Mark:** It turns out that stoning, if you are accused of, quote-unquote "accused" of homosexuality and/or adultery in Brunei, you will be stoned to death. That's real, that is crazy, and just goes to show how fuckin' lucky we are

**Michael:** Yeah, reading about that this morning made me think about some of our listeners and so I just kinda wanted to let them know we know they're listening and we see you

**Mark:** Yeah

**Mark:** I saw *Knife + Heart*

**Brennan:** Ooooh! How was that?

**Michael:** I love that movie so much!

**Mark:** Not for me

**Brennan:** Okay, I'm gonna love it

**Mark:** It was not for me. It should have been for me, but it was not. And I saw a great Chinese film… *Ash Is Purest White*. I don't know if anyone's heard of it, but it's a pretty amazing story of this woman who's basically a gangster moll-- it spans twenty years, it starts in 2000 and ends in basically now, and this gangster's moll who lives with her incredibly hot gangster boyfriend, they run like a mahjong kind of gambling ring. And what begins as a-- I'm not spoiling anything. When she ends up using a gun, an illegal firearm to defend him one day and she ends up going to prison for him, and over the course of twenty years, being apart and together, apart and together, you get to see the changes in the landscape of China and you get to see how China went from a communist country to what it is now, and it's seeing how the various characters adjust or don't adjust to that. It's so beautifully shot, it even has sci-fi elements. It is just this gorgeous, crazy, incredibly-- it's one of those weird movies where you're watching it and you're not weepy or anything, but once it's over, you're like, (on the verge of tears) "Oh God!" (normal voice) It has that kind of power. It's really special and it's a little bit under the radar, so if you get the opportunity, I highly recommend it. And I feel like I watched-- oh! Has anyone seen this movie from 1982, I hadn't seen it since college, but this movie called *The Entity* with Barbara Hershey?

**Michael:** Yes!

**Mark:** Je-sus

**Michael:** Mmm-hmm. Mmmmm-hmm

**Mark:** H.

**Michael:** I mean, the whole setup of the movie is a "Jesus Christ"

**Mark:** Oh my God. So it's based on a true story, wink and air quotes, but I mean it is based on a real case, but you know, who knows? About this woman who, how do I put this in a way-- she was being raped by a ghost in her house, continuously

**Chingy:** Like an incubus?

**Mark:** Sort of? But the movie is by turns horrifying and then also just like, so crazy that you don't know what to do but laugh because it's just like Impossible material? I don't know how you make a movie of this?

**Michael:** Well, they're trying to play it up as, "This is *our* haunted house movie."

**Mark:** I dunno. It's really intense.

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** Martin Scorsese put it on his list of "Top Ten Scariest Movies Ever"

**Michael:** Yeah, he did, didn't he

**Mark:** And it's really-- it has moments where it has maintained its power in no small reason because Barbara Hershey is kind of incredible?

**Michael:** I mean, she gives everything she has in the movie

**Mark:** I mean, she takes this semi-impossible sort of material and *really* she just acts the shit out of it in a way that's just like fearless and really upsetting. The movie is *mostly* manages not to be skeevy for its subject matter

**Michael:** I feel like-- I haven't seen it in awhile, but I feel like the inciting incident though, goes on and on and on and on and on forever

**Mark:** Well, I mean, it really tests, yeah, it can really test your sort of, your mettle in terms of what you're willing to tolerate. That being said, the movie's-- despite some really wacky turns in the last quarter, the movie is at least an amazing metaphor for abusive relationships or what it takes for certain people to step out of abusive situations. So it's fascinating in that it's *really* moving and scary and powerful in certain ways. And then also, it's a movie where Barbara Hershey comes home and her own house calls her the "c-word", do you know what I mean? Like, it's just like, where you just go, "Okay, I don't know if this is like *Showgirls* or if this is brilliant."

**Michael:** It's trying to approach the subject matter like *The Exorcist* (1973) type way, and like, I don't wanna say the word, "classy", but you know what I mean?

**Mark:** Well, it's classy for a movie about ghost rape, do you know what I mean?

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** But that's--

**Mark:** Does that make any sense?

**Chingy:** It's multi-faceted

**Mark:** Yeah! So, anyway, take that as a--

**Michael:** Is it on Shudder right now?

**Mark:** No. It's actually pretty hard to track down. I had to rent it on DVD

**Nay:** (chuckling) Wow

**Mark:** Yeah, I know. I went--

**Michael:** Did you get it from Redbox?

**Mark:** I got into my DeLorean…

**Nay:** (laughing) Yeah

**Mark:** Anyway, it's like *Ash is Purest White*: recommend! And *The Entity* I'm like, "*Recommend?*"

**Michael:** I remember being really scared when I saw that movie

**Mark:** It's really upsetting. It's genuinely upsetting

**Michael:** Yeah. She has like a family and everything. Is she a single mom?

**Mark:** There's so many fucked up things that happen in this movie, I can't even tell you

**Nay:** Oh my *God*

**Mark:** Anyway, Chingy, what have you been watching?

**Michael:** Is it like *Care Bears* or something?

**Chingy:** It is! I was stuck at Disney World for a week for a wedding

**Michael:** Oh good! Well, not good.

**Chingy:** So, I watched a lot of Disney movies.

**Brennan:** Okay

**Chingy:** And I can tell you which ones hold up, and which ones don't

**Nay:** Oh great

**Chingy:** *Pinocchio* (1940) Horrifying, great, very gay. Watch it. Rewatch it. None of the villains get *any* comeuppance--

**Mark:** Yeah, it's really--

**Chingy:** Pleasure Island, it's a lot. I love it

**Michael:** Super gay?

**Mark:** Pleasure Island has always made me feel really weird

**Michael:** In your tummy?

**Mark:** *Yeah*

**Michael:** (laughing) You're pointing at your stomach!

**Mark:** Yeah! It would give me this weird queasy feeling, like, (southern Muppet drawl) "This is bad. This is a bad place!"

**Michael:** (southern Muppet drawl) "I kinda like it"

**Mark:** (southern Muppet drawl)."They turn into animals. That's bad!"

**Chingy:** I just love the conceit of someone being like, "I wish I had a real boy!" And then a fairy granting the wish, but only half-ass granting it--

**Michael:** Bitch fairy

**Chingy:** And he's like, "Am I a real boy?" And she's like, "No, you're not at all. You need to *earn* it, because you have to *earn* being a person."

**Michael:** *Whoooo!*

**Chingy:** It's fun, I love it

**Michael:** Love that fairy

**Nay:** Ain't that the truth

**Chingy:** It's fucked up in a fun way, where *Peter Pan* (1953), having rewatched it, I thought the very racist Native American thing was just a subplot. It's about half the runtime

**Michael:** Oh, no shit

**Chingy:** I was not expecting it to be so long, and everyone's a jerk to Wendy

**Michael:** Disney movies are dark as *fuck*

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** Those old animated films?

**Chingy:** Oh yeah

**Michael:** Bambi's mom? Murdered

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** (chuckling) Okay

**Mark:** Yeah, the rearview mirror of cinema history--

**Chingy:** It's not great

**Mark:** It's full of-- I think one of my favourite things to think about with these things is, as I watch a lot-- I like to watch a lot of old stuff, is, "Take what you like and leave the rest."

**Chingy:** That's--

**Mark:** Some movies it's like, "That's beautiful! (sotto voce) And we're not gonna talk about the (indistinct)."

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** That's like what Phoebe's mom would do to her on *Friends*.

**Mark:** *Okay*

**Michael:** She thought *Bambi* was this wholesome movie. Her mom would turn it off when she was little before her mom got killed, so there's a whole episode about (Phoebe) going back and rewatching all these movies

**Mark:** And having no idea

**Michael:** And she's like the most vibrant person on the show, but by the end of the episode she's like, "Life sucks! Everyone dies!" She's like throwing shit, it's really great

**Mark:** What other Disney movies?

**Chingy:** Oh, I'm trying to think. *Sleeping Beauty*'s (1959) all right. *The Sword in the Stone* is very very weird, because the guy who plays Arthur, little Arthur, is voiced by three different voice actors.

**Michael:** Is it noticeable?

**Chingy:** *Very* noticeable

**Michael:** One's got a cockney accent?

**Chingy:** No, they all have American accents when everybody else has English accents, first of all.

**Mark:** I tried

**Chingy:** Second, two of them are brothers who are small children. One of them is clearly a grown man who sounds like, do you remember Kermit's nephew Robin?

**Mark:** Yes. *Do* I

**Chingy:** He sounds like a nasally college sophomore from Queens called Leonard. That is how I would describe the third voice. And, it's not that it changes from scene to scene, it changes from line to line, at random. I don't understand

**Mark:** That sounds creepy

**Michael:** That was a final cut, too

**Chingy:** Yeah! As someone who's been an editor, I'm like, "Why, why, why did you let that happen?"

**Michael:** I just noticed you have a necklace that says, "Pussy"

**Chingy:** I *do!*

**Michael:** Love it!

**Chingy:** Because we're gonna talk about pussy

**Michael:** Sorry. I just looked over at you and see the word "pussy" on your chest

**Nay:** I don't think you ever have to be sorry for noticing something so amazing

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** I am wearing a necklace that says, "Pussy". I thought it was appropriate given the movie

**Michael:** Yeah

**Chingy:** It's a big theme

**Michael:** Yeah

**Chingy:** Pussy's a big theme in this movie. But yeah--

**Michael:** Back to Disney

**Chingy:** Those are the movies I've watched lately. I think that's about it. I'm trying to think-- oh yeah, about the whole going back and looking at cinema history and it being dark, I went to Disney World and I didn't realize that Splash Mountain was *Song of the South*-themed?

**Brennan:** Oh. Yep.

**Mark:** Oh yeah, it sure is! Uh-huh

**Chingy:** I didn't know that!

**Michael:** They haven't changed it? [E/N: Disney announced in 2020 they are re-theming Splash Mountain to *The Princess and the Frog*)

**Chingy:** No, that's just what it is. I never knew that about it. I read the map and I was like, "Oh! Babe I don't think I wanna go to *Song of the South*. Nope, I'm good."

**Mark:** No, like literally the song they sing in Splash Mountain is--

**Chingy:** Yeah, "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah"

**Mark:** Basically (high-pitched voice)."Remember Uncle Remus? We don't either! La la la la!" (normal voice) Like they're just--

**Nay:** (gasps) No!

**Michael:** What the *fuck?*

**Nay:** I can't!

**Mark:** It's….

**Chingy:** It's a lot

**Mark:** Yeah. It's… yeah. It's, you know, Br'er Rabbit…

**Michael:** Mmm-kay

**Brennan:** Yep

**Nay:** *Oh. My. God. Really?*

**Chingy:** Yeah!

**Mark:** Mmm-hmm

**Nay:** Yeah, I don't know anything about Disneyland or Disney World

**Mark:** I mean, you know

**Chingy:** They're fine. Whatever

**Nay:** I've never been

**Michael:** I've been to Disneyland a few times. It's hell

**Mark:** (laughing) Jesus!

**Michael:** Yeah, "It's been two hours get me the fuck out of here."

**Nay:** Yeah, it sounds awful

**Chingy:** I was surrounded by children non-stop

**Nay:** No, I can't

**Chingy:** And like, that's fine if you like being surrounded by children--

**Michael:** If they're getting murdered by somebody, yeah

**Chingy:** I didn't enjoy it. I was very anxious all the time 'coz me and my girlfriend were like two of the *only* gays there, and we basically wanted to take a drink every time we saw another gay

**Michael:** So like one shot?

**Mark:** The only time I ever--

**Chingy:** Yeah, one shot

**Mark:** The last time I got called "faggot" was at Disneyland

**Michael:** *No!*

**Nay:** What?!

**Mark:** On "Gay Day". Yeah

**Michael:** (gasps) By who?

**Mark:** By some trash from Florida probably, I mean, I dunno

**Nay:** Oooh.

**Mark:** So, y'know, sorry Florida. That was mean

**Michael:** I was meaning like a park employee or--

**Mark:** Florida, I'm sorry. I apologize

**Chingy:** Don't be sorry to Florida! Florida's a--

**Michael:** You got called that on "Gay Day"?

**Mark:** Yeah.

**Michael:** In Florida

**Mark:** So, y'know, it's like--

**Michael:** Florida's trash

**Nay:** Yeah!

**Michael:** Florida's trash

**Mark:** It wasn't *in* Florida, it was at Disney*land*

**Brennan:** You know, we have one here

**Michael:** But he said Florida, so I thought he meant Disney World

**Mark:** Some trash from-- anyway

**Michael:** Okay, *got it*

**Chingy:** They *came* to--

**Mark:** Yeah, I dunno

**Michael:** I'm quick (chuckles)

**Mark:** They were, they were clearly uh, not from these parts

**Michael:** Yes. Or they were just from Orange County

**Mark:** Or they were just from Orange County, they were just from fuckin' Orange County

**Nay:** Oh, damn, Brennan!

**Brennan:** Uh, as someone who grew up in Orange County, you're probably right

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** You know what? I apologize, Florida. It's probably Orange County

**Chingy:** The Florida of counties

**Michael:** "The Florida of counties"?

**Brennan:** Anyway, speaking of things from other countries

**Mark:** Ohhh! (starts humming "My Sharona" before getting the giggles and giving up) I can't do this

**Michael:** (hums "My Sharona")

**Mark and Michael:** (in unison, though Mark sings it flatly) La Llorona

**Michael:** Wow, Mark, energy

**Mark:** I just gave up halfway through (laughs)

**Brennan:** This week on "Producer Brennan's La Llorona Corner"

**Michael:** Wow, I like your shirt, Brennan

**Brennan:** Thank you! It's from *Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown*

**Michael:** Mmm-hmm

**Mark:** Pepa

**Brennan:** Oh, I love it so much

**Michael:** I just watched it recently

**Brennan:** You should be watching that movie every day.

**Nay:** I just did that recently

**Brennan:** (laughing) Sorry, Nay! That like, snaked in to my headphone and directly into my brain and it was hilarious

**Nay:** You always catch my little things

**Brennan:** Oh, I do

**Nay:** Yeah

**Brennan:** Anyway. I'm here to talk about a movie. Really, my first hurdle in this movie about La Llorona, who-- Chingy you haven't been here the past couple of weeks or months or whatever

**Chingy:** I've never been here. Fun fact!

**Mark:** She's literally never been here

**Chingy:** I've never been in here *at all*!

**Brennan:** Yeah, and for those in the back rows who haven't heard yet, La Llorona is a Mexican folk tale, she's basically a boogeyman. She drowned her kids back in the day, if you wander out towards the river she will drown you too

**Chingy:** Good old La Llorona

**Mark:** Consistent

**Brennan:** My first hurdle with this movie--

**Michael:** She's got a thing!

**Brennan:** Was the title. I've written it out for you guys

**Michael:** Not *Kilometer 31 3*?

**Brennan:** No

**Michael:** Okay

**Brennan:** It's *J-hyphen-OK-apostraphe-E-L* and I was like, "I hope they say this word in the movie!" And they did

**Mark:** I give up

**Brennan:** It's pronounced "Joquel," it's very French-sounding

**Chingy:** That's what I was gonna say

**Brennan:** Oh!

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Brennan:** You're right on the money

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Brennan:** Well actually the thing that's most interesting about the movie *is* its title. Because, no, that is shade, but it's also interesting because the thing about this marathon--

**Nay;** (laughing) I'm sorry!

**Brennan:** The thing about this marathon is that it's exposing me to a lot of *really* small, regional productions of Mexican cinema. This movie was shot in and around Chiapas, Mexico, and Joquel is, according to them, I can't find a lot of research that necessarily backs up what they're saying, but it's apparently there's a Mayan dialect called "Xeal", which is the indigenous dialect and how you say La Llorona according to the indigenous population around Chiapas. So that was really interesting to learn

**Nay:** Yeah

**Brennan:** The movie was hella boring.

**Chingy:** "The most interesting thing about you is your name." I love that

**Brennan:** But it's really interesting! It's a roller coaster of a title. So it's about this--

**Mark:** I liked it as a factoid

**Michael:** Yeah!

**Brennan:** Thank you

**Michael:** You have good facts

**Mark:** Yeah

**Brennan:** But it's about-- it's set in Mexico, but it's about a white guy. He's weirdly handsome, which is annoying because he's an asshole

**Michael:** He's not as handsome as Papá is he?

**Brennan:** Oh, no! Who could be?

**Michael:** Oh, phew!

**Mark:** (amused) "Papá"? (Vapid white girl voice) "Oh, Papá!"

**Brennan:** So his mom married a Mexican man, they're living in Chiapas, and his half-sister goes missing because La Llorona is kidnapping children around town. So he comes to town, he visits his estranged mom, who he hasn't seen in ten years. She's played by Dee Wallace

**Mark:** *What?*

**Brennan:** Yes

**Chingy:** Okay

**Michael:** That is a fact I did not expect

**Mark:** *What?!*

**Brennan:** Yeah. Twist ending!

**Michael:** Did she know she was there?

**Brennan:** I think she did. Look, I think she wanted a vacation

**Michael:** Good for Dee!

**Mark:** Hey.

**Brennan:** So anyway, he kind of runs-- it's very TV movie level, like La Llorona is represented by, they're kind of flapping like a piece of white cloth in front of the camera and "She's over there!"

**Nay:** *Nice*

**Michael:** Love that.

**Nay:** *Nice*. My favorite

**Mark:** Drapes

**Michael:** (laughing) Someone's dress?

**Brennan:** And he's hanging out with a local woman who's translating for him, and they do *not* end up falling in love, which I was shocked by. He just kind of runs around being an asshole, telling people that their religion is fake. Pretty much any religion. It's great. (faux chipper) White people are awesome! (normal voice) But anyway, two interesting things about this movie other than the title--

**Mark:** (as an extremely basic white person) "We really are, it's great!"

**Nay:** Okay

**Chingy:** No, let's clap for that

**Michael:** *Nay*

**Mark:** (chuckling) Yeah

**Chingy:** You can't see me, but I'm Asian

**Mark:** Slow, slow, slow clap

**Chingy:** But even if you saw me you wouldn't think I'm Asian

**Mark:** The slowest clap possible

**Michael:** How are you gonna manage to clap while you're doing the yank?

**Mark:** I know, exactly.

**Michael:** (chuckling) Hand signals

**Mark:** At the same time

**(Chingy, Michael and Mark attempt to slow clap and do the yank simultaneously)**

**Brennan:** This is… I'm glad no one can see this. This is some gross stuff

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Mark:** TV-MA

**Brennan:** The female lead in this movie, I don't know if I was just reading into it, but I am ninety-five percent certain that she's a coded lesbian character

**Nay:** Yup

**Michael:** (amused) Cute!

**Brennan:** Because there's a woman who keeps wandering in and out of her house and she's like, "Oh that's my friend, who is like the nanny to my kid." But she walks in while she and the man are talking in the living room--

**Chingy:** She's that hot?

**Brennan:** And she just seems *super* comfortable in the apartment, she drops her keys off and walks upstairs--

**Michael:** Lesbian

**Brennan:** And she's like, "Oh, I asked her to come in early to babysit my child."

**Nay:** "Did you get that floss I asked for?"

**Brennan:** Yeah, exactly!

**Michael:** "For my child?"

**Brennan:** Grocery bags… It's just she gets so nervous whenever her quote-unquote "nanny" is around and the man's also like, present. I'm like, "Mmmm! Something's goin' on here. I love this."

**Chingy:** That sounds lesbian-coded

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** Aunt Margaret's roommate that she has lived with *for years*

**Brennan:** Yep

**Michael:** (chuckling) Oh my God!

**Brennan:** "Gal pals"

**Chingy:** Yes

**Brennan:** And one last thing. I am gonna spoil this movie, so if you really care about *J-ok'el*, skip forward like two minutes. But you guys have to know: La Llorona turns out to be a *very* mundane killer, because Dee Wallace is the killer in this movie. So, they chase after La Llorona to this cave. It's literally Dee Wallace in streaky, tear-stained mascara face--

**Michael:** This sounds amazing

**Nay:** Absolutely

**Brennan:** Surrounded by piles of dead children--

**Nay:** I like that

**Brennan:** Just cackling as she tries to strangle her own son

**Nay:** Oh, I love it!

**Chingy:** Oh, that old trope. Dee Wallace all along

**Michael:** It was Dee Wallace in the cave *all* along

**Mark:** *Hoarding* child corpses in a cave

**Brennan:** Yeah!

**Chingy:** Like she does!

**Michael:** Just like Dee Wallace always does

**Brennan:** I wouldn't say it was worth it for *that*, but I'm glad I watched it

**Michael:** Was she still playing the same character or did they have her…?

**Brennan:** Yeah, no, it's his mom gone mad

**Michael:** (chuckling) Or was she also "La Llorona"?

**Chingy:** Were they just calling her "Dee" at this point?

**Brennan:** Okay, I dunno. It's kind of implied that J-ok'el is real, but she's imitating J-ok'el and then in the end after she dies, she's also a ghost so it's a whole thing. It's like a *Candyman* (1992) type thing, I guess

**Michael:** Amazing

**Brennan:** Anyway, that was really important to me and I wanted to share that with you guys

**Michael:** Thank you

**Mark:** Wow

**Chingy:** I'm really happy you shared it

**Brennan:** Thank you

**Mark:** Are you gonna have all of them watched by the time *Curse of La Llorona* comes out?

**Michael:** That's the goal, right?

**Brennan:** Yes! That is the plan and I am currently on track to accomplish that

**Mark:** Okay

**Nay:** Amazing. Thank you

**Brennan:** Thank you very much for indulging me!

**Nay:** Well, why are we here today?

**Brennan:** Well, we aren't here to talk La Llorona

**Nay:** What are we here to talk about?

**Chingy:** Fish pussy

**Nay:** (laughing) Yes that's what we're here to talk about

**Michael:** Fish slits?

**Chingy:** That sounds dirtier!

**Nay:** (laughing) Stop!

**Mark:** I'm glad you said it

**Michael:** They literally say that in the movie, though.

**Chingy:** Yeah, they do

**Mark:** Mmm-hmm

**Michael:** They talk about her slit, which is weirdly in the bottom of her tail

**Nay:** I mean, you saw it

**Chingy:** Yep

**Michael:** Yup. She got the thing

**Nay:** If you could pick any place to put your slit, where would you put it?

**Michael:** *Oh!* That's a good question

**Chingy:** Mine are alright where they are

**Nay:** Okay, that's the standard

**Brennan:** Well, what if you had a mermaid tail though, right?

**Nay:** *Oh*

**Chingy:** *Oh*

**Nay:** I don't wanna think about having a mermaid tail, it *really* bothers me

**Michael:** Especially when you're six feet long

**Chingy:** You know, I'd fuck a lot of mythical creatures. I surprisingly was like, "Nah, I'll pass. I'm okay."

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** Where would I put my, my--

**Nay:** A slit

**Mark:** I don't even know where to begin this question

**Brennan:** The back!

**Mark:** The back… Are we talking like gills, or like if I had a fish--

**Nay:** Oh no, really like where would you put a fish pussy?

**Michael:** (laughing hard) Your fish, where would your fish pus-- (cracks up)

**Nay:** If you could place one on your body--

**Chingy:** Dorsal fin

**Nay:** Where would you place it?

**Brennan:** *Hellraiser* style!

**Nay:** Yeah, exactly

**Michael:** Oooh, *Hellraiser* style, that's bomb

**Nay:** 'Cause sometimes you're like, you know how easy it would be to fuck a mermaid?

**Michael:** Well I want easy access--

**Nay:** If my pussy was in my hand, you know

**Brennan:** Like *Pan's Labyrinth*?

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** I would put mine--

**Mark:** But that would make snacking really hard. Snacking would become really difficult if your--

**Michael:** If you had a pussy in your hand?

**Nay:** *Certain* snacking

**Mark:** *Ohh. My **God***

**Nay:** How easy?

**Mark:** First of all, you'd never leave the house--

**Nay:** *Okay?* Honestly

**Mark:** Once you discovered that

**Chingy:** Think about how much easier yeast infections would be

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** Jesus! Okay…

**Chingy:** Risk ain't worth the reward

**Mark:** *Whew!*

**Michael:** (sing-song) I'm not the dirty one for once!

**Nay:** I know we've talked about easy many times

**Mark:** So by the way listeners, we're talking about *The Lure*--

**Michael:** Where to put your fish slit!

**Mark:** The Polish horror-musical hybrid, comic hybrid directed by Agnieszka Smoczyńska. And now back to fish pussy

**Nay:** Thank you. Thank you for you

**Chingy:** You went for it. You went for pronouncing that name

**Mark:** I did

**Chingy:** And I think you did a *great* job

**Michael:** I think you did, too

**Chingy:** Now none of us have to say the name again

**Nay:** Thank *God*

**Mark:** Thank you

**Michael:** Mine would be in reaching distance. That's all I know.

**Mark:** Okay

**Chingy:** Your fish pussy?

**Michael:** Yeah!

**Chingy:** Okay

**Michael:** So I can use my hands on it

**Chingy:** Right

**Mark:** Question, question. If I have a fish pussy does this mean I-- (laughing)

**Michael:** Can't have a fish dick?

**Nay:** Mmm-hmm, go ahead. What does that mean?

**Mark:** Does that mean when I get in water I get a tail, or is it just like--

**Nay:** No, I literally--

**Mark:** What is this about-- what about this is a fish pussy?

**Michael:** Where on your--

**Mark:** Or is it just a pussy?

**Nay:** Yeah, I just wanted to know what kind of freak you were

**Mark:** *Okay*

**Michael:** It's just like the pussy in the movie

**Nay:** I wanted to know where you'd put it. That's it

**Michael:** Where would you put that?

**Mark:** Uhhhh--

**Michael:** One was at the bottom of her--

**Mark:** I guess my neck?

**Nay:** Nice

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Nay:** That's hot

**Mark:** I guess my neck

**Michael:** Don't you have to put it on the bottom half if I'm a mermaid?

**Nay:** No, you don't

**Chingy:** You can put it any place!

**Michael:** I didn't realize the body was open, too!

**Nay:** Yeah, that's what I mean!

**Michael:** Right here?

**Nay:** Yeah!

**Chingy:** That's a good spot

**Nay:** In the middle of your chest?

**Chingy:** No one really considers that spot, but that's a good spot

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** The solar plexus?

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** Mmm-hmm

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** So like full Dakota Johnson *Suspiria* (2018) style chest pussy?

**Nay:** Yeah! So like, sternum pussy? That's bomb, that's bomb

**Michael:** Yeah

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Mark:** Mother of Sighs? Actually, that's a good answer. You're right

**Chingy:** Yeah, that's the best answer I've ever heard to that question that you hear all the time

**Mark:** I should have remembered Dakota

**Michael:** I'd still have boobs on side of it

**Mark:** That's true

**Nay:** Oh, yes!

**Michael:** Can you imagine that?

**Chingy:** I've actually seen an art piece of that

**Brennan:** Oh!

**Nay:** As I was picturing it, I was thinking, "It sounds like it belongs on Dildo Nightmares."

**Chingy:** I love Dildo Nightmares

**Nay:** (laughing) You're bringing it up?

**Mark:** *Oh, God!* Why do you keep doing this to me?!?

**Nay:** *Because I love it so much!* I love that Instagram

**Michael:** Nay, that page has given me a lot of joy

**Mark:** I still haven't blocked out the last one you showed me. I think I talked about it, actually

**Michael:** Yeah, you described it--

**Nay:** Yeah, you said it looked like, "shoving a Whopper down a--" I dunno

**Michael:** "A Whopper Jr. in a hole or something," and you said the hole was too small for a whole Whopper

**Nay:** Yeah. You said all that. He did

**Brennan:** I did have a further question about the fish pussy

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** I was gonna say, about the movie?

**Mark:** Brennan's like, (pompous) "I have a question about the fish--"

**Nay:** As the expert on it, yes?

**Chingy:** Uh, that's me

**Brennan:** For those in the room who already possess vaginas, would you want a second one or would you want to move it?

**Nay:** Um…

**Michael:** That's a good question

**Nay:** Definitely a second one. I'm not gonna--

**Chingy:** Yeah, I'm not gonna turn down hole number four, I'm good

**Nay:** Yeah

**Brennan:** Well, is there a better placement than where it already is?

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** I think we already--

**Chingy:** Right there

**Nay:** The chest sounds really fuckin' cool

**Mark:** *Suspiria* style

**Michael:** Yeah

**Nay:** I dunno, the neck sounds really hot

**Brennan:** The chest one you could do a lot of spinning stuff, which would be fun

**Michael:** *Suspiria* style with nips on either side

**Nay:** True

**Chingy:** Oh yeah

**Mark:** Plus if you're shopping, you could open it and be like, "I put my wallet in there and like--"

**Michael:** Yeah.

**Chingy:** *Nature's pocket!*

**Brennan:** No, you're shoplifting Chapstick--

**Michael:** (to Chingy) What did you say?

**Chingy:** Nature's pocket

**Mark:** Yeah! You know

**Chingy:** It's like grandma used to say

**Mark:** Yeah, you know

**Chingy:** Grandma Chingy

**Michael:** "My hands are full. Can you reach in there and grab my Mastercard?"

**Mark:** (laughing) Oh my God!

**Nay:** Brennan, do we have a trailer?

**Brennan:** We actually don't, because everything's in Polish, so I have *no* clips

**Nay:** Right

**Mark:** So we can just scream at the audience in Polish for a minute and thirty seconds

**Chingy:** You could play the trailer and we'll read the subtitles. *We'll* be the actors

**Brennan:** Oooh!

**Chingy:** That's a horrible idea. Don't do what I said

**Mark:** (as Chingy) "Don't do what I just said!"

**Nay:** They looked at two thousand girls to pick those, to pick Silver and Gold

**Michael:** *What?* Really?

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** That's a lot of white girls

**Nay:** Yeah. Maybe they didn't realize there's that many and they all look alike

**Mark:** It's Poland! (laughing) It's Poland!

**Chingy:** That's where I'd be like, "I just saw you."

**Nay:** Yeah. They're like, "Is this the same twenty people over and over again? I can't tell."

**Michael:** Just putting on different caps

**Nay:** For two thousand people

**Mark:** For listeners who have not yet had the opportunity to watch *The Lure,* it involves Silver and Golden, two sirens from some unnamed body of water outside of Warsaw that are essentially recruited by this house band at this sort of disco restaurant--

**Chingy:** That is also a strip club

**Mark:** That is also kind of a burlesque place?

**Nay:** It looks so fun!

**Chingy:** Yeah. I would definitely--

**Mark:** That's a real place, that's a real place by the way

**Michael:** Like an actual club?

**Chingy:** I would pop the--

**Mark:** It is an actual working club

**Michael:** *Wow*

**Mark:** Called Club Adria. And they're recruited and it is essentially, what follows is one of the weirder coming-of-age tales about what it means to be a young woman discovering your power, in Poland!

**Michael:** And it's during the Eighties, right?

**Chingy:** Yeah, it's set during the Eighties

**Michael:** During communism? Yeah

**Chingy:** It's Eighties horror musical *Little Mermaid*

**Michael:** Yeah!

**Nay:** Yeah. The best goth musical about man-eating mermaids

**Michael:** That's what, I saw that today too

**Chingy:** I think that's true!

**Michael:** Yeah

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** I'm trying to think of a better one, but I *can't*

**Nay:** Yeah, I, you know, sometimes we do a Shady Summary and after I had read what someone had written about it--

**Michael:** Yeah

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Nay:** That's, that's it. (To Chingy) And you had said something earlier, but I think we already talked about fish pussy *so* much that--

**Chingy:** I know. I can't stop thinking about it, because it's literally all that's been on my mind today. I've had other sets to do--

**Michael:** But it's such a big part of the film!

**Chingy:** It is! I was like, "Am I oversexualizing this?" Because of the work I do--

**Michael:** No

**Chingy:** And I was like, "*No*, this is a really horny movie." And like it's, "Everybody loves fish pussy." That is my Shady Summary of it. *Everybody* just wants to fuck these fish

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** I mean… yeah!

**Michael:** Yeah!

**Mark:** That's true!

**Michael:** Everybody loves fish pussy. No one can say "fish pussy"

**Brennan:** Well it's time--

**Mark:** So many times. It's like twenty minutes in and I feel like-- (chuckles)

**Chingy:** Probably the most any group of people has ever said it

**Nay:** I'm proud of that!

**Michael:** Well, the director talked about fish pussy and like one of her things was the maturation of a young woman--

**Chingy:** Mmm-hmm

**Michael:** And the smell and the odor, and she's like, "I'm gonna do it about fuckin' mermaids. 'Cause I can play that theme up." And like how the opening scene, or the first time they're seen is In the club hopping up and down--

**Nay:** He's like, looking for them

**Mark:** And he's like, "What's that smell?"

**Michael:** Yeah, and he literally smells them. And how she makes the very specific point of showing that they don't even *have* genitalia

**Chingy:** I love that they don't have buttholes. They don't have asscracks. I love it!

**Michael:** And that these men are still smelling the slime, and it's just like, fish pussy's a really big part of it!

**Chingy:** It's a really big part

**Nay:** Yo. *I--*  when he goes seeking out that smell, that is me every day. I have a really heightened sense of smell--

**Michael:** Oh, wow

**Nay:** And it's actually the most annoying thing of my oppressions. (chuckling) Even harder than-- you know what? I'm not going to do that. Never mind. But it's really hard!

**Michael:** Brian has a very *dull* sense of smell and he's told me many times that he's thankful for it

**Nay:** *Yes!* I'm just like nauseated all the time 'coz I can smell everything. Literally the person sitting behind me on the plane yesterday? I could tell when he stood up, 'cause of where his breath was in the air

**Michael:** Oh, God!

**Chingy:** Oh, wow

**Nay:** I would be like, "I know where you're standing right now."

**Michael:** That's the worst.

**Chingy:** That's intense

**Michael:** The smells on airplanes? *Ugh*

**Nay:** So yeah, I feel him. And when I can't locate it? I'm just like him. I'm goin' everywhere. "What is it? What is it?"

**Chingy:** You're like Wolverine!

**Nay:** Yes. Yes! The other day my friend walked in the room and I was like (sniffs) "I smell garlic and alcohol." And she was like, "Uh, I had a shot of whiskey and garlic potato tots like an hour ago, bitch." And I was like, "*I know!* I know exactly what you had."

**Mark:** Oh my God

**Nay:** So yeah, I felt that. I was like, I would be--

**Michael:** Yeah, he was sniffing that out, little bitch

**Nay:** But I love how once he sees what it is, he's like, "Eh, this smell's not that bad. I didn't just go on this journey through this *whole* building to find it, but it's, it's not that bad." 'Coz he likes it

**Michael:** Yeah, and I love how he's like, "This is an adult club," and then they're naked

**Chingy:** And he's like, "Strip."

**Michael:** Seconds later? Yeah

**Chingy:** And then when he sees them transform, he's like, "Is it real?" It's like you *literally* just saw these--

**Nay:** You literally just saw it

**Chingy:** Tails the size of them grow

**Mark:** Well, the deadpan quality of the movie, especially in the first thirty minutes is *so*-- I mean, I found myself laughing out loud, like constantly in those first thirty minutes

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Mark:** From just that opening song that the girls--

**Chingy:** "We will not eat you!"

**Mark:** (singing) "We will not eat you!"

**Chingy:** I love that that's the opening song

**Mark:** It is actually a combination of those lyrics plus something like a melody that stayed in my head all day long--

**Michael:** Like super-sweet melody

**Mark:** And then on top of it, Krysia's screaming to her singing Donna Summer in that club?

**Nay:** *Yo.* Yes.

**Mark:** That trippy-ass like, "What the fuck is this Eastern Bloc, like karate shitty glam--"

**Michael:** Yeah, I was like, "Where are we? Is this *all* underground?"

**Mark:** Oh God

**Nay:** Yo, if I thought I wouldn't get *immediately* lynched, I wanna party there

**Chingy:** Hard same

**Nay:** (chuckling) Yes

**Mark:** And then right into-- even-- I have quibbles with the movie, but overall I so love what it's reaching for. But the fact that the club owner is going around his own club going, "What's that smell, what's that smell?" And *everybody* in the club is like, grooving

**Nay:** *Yeah*

**Mark:** Even the waiters coming out of the kitchen

**Michael:** Yes. And they stop when they see him?

**Mark:** Yeah. And it's like, am I wrong or could you *hear* the sirens' song, like they were singing along with the Donna Summer--

**Michael:** *Oh*, maybe

**Nay:** Ohhh

**Mark:** And that's why everybody's dancing, right?

**Michael:** And that's why everyone is involved

**Mark:** That's why everybody is so completely--

**Michael:** Well that woman with the carrots is like very sexualizing the carrot dancing

**Chingy:** She did not care

**Michael:** She was (indistinct)

**Mark:** Everyone was grooving to their song

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** Yeah

**Michael:** That makes sense

**Brennan:** Yeah, it does start to cut in-between them on the soundtrack too, as he gets closer and closer to the room. We do hear them screechin'

**Mark:** Yeah

**Nay:** I love the noises that happen every time Golden, or Gold is about to--

**Brennan:** Oooh

**Nay:** Pop up

**Mark:** It is Golden

**Nay:** Golden

**Mark:** Yeah

**Nay:** Silver and Golden. Okay, yeah. I love it

**Michael:** (chuckles) Such a weird movie

**Nay:** Well, when you first watched it, Michael--

**Michael:** I didn't like it

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** I watched it again today, actually, and enjoyed it a lot more

**Nay:** What changed?

**Michael:** Well I read this really great article just about like, how for a lot of trans folks, they look at *The Little Mermaid* as a trans tale, and like reading it through that POV, it just made me appreciate what was *happening* more. And then reading what the director was saying about it, and for her she also looked at the mermaids as a metaphor for immigration and how especially in Europe, for young women like that they're usually-- during immigration, anything like that they're--

**Mark:** Exploited

**Michael:** Exploited. Put in any kind of sex work, that kind of stuff. So it made me look at the movie, as opposed to like, just this "fish pussy mermaid tale" as like an actual like, "Holy shit, there's actually something really relevant and deep going on here."

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** So watching it a second time I was like, "Okay. I get it. I get it!" Like it took someone telling me, essentially, and also kind of getting where the director was coming from? It was her first film, which is like kinda crazy

**Mark:** Insanely impressive

**Nay and Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** Does everyone-- 'coz this movie *does* play along with the Hans Christian Andersen *Little Mermaid*--

**Chingy:** It does, it does

**Mark:** Plot points, but like Hans Christian Andersen goes to an even crazier place, like beyond the sea foam aspect--

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Nay:** *Wow*

**Mark:** Which, does everyone know this? (To Chingy) You know

**Chingy:** I do

**Mark:** Do you wanna, would you care to do the honors? It's so fucked up!

**Chingy:** I can't. I would love for you to expound on it and then I would love to elaborate on certain things that I feel about it

**Mark:** So, so like in, like for Silver, Silver. It was Silver, right?

**Michael:** Silver and Golden

**Chingy:** Silver's the one that's like, yeah

**Mark:** Right

**Michael:** Silver's the one in love

**Mark:** Who gets her legs and loses her voice and then when Polish Evan Peters--

**Chingy:** Yeah, Polish Evan Peters is what we're calling the bassist

**Mark:** Spurns her and marries another, and she goes to the wedding and she dances and she is *there*, and it's an incredibly moving sequence. So like in *The Little Mermaid*, you know, she is going to hug him. And instead of devouring her ex-lover to survive, she decides not to, and so she turns to seafoam and disappears. Now, *The Lure* takes that as Silver's logical conclusion end-of-life. Hans Christian Andersen, who as Michael said, probably hated women, goes one better, or worse, depending on how you look at it. Which is that Ariel turns to seafoam, but that's not her release. She then has to spend a few centuries being the wind and constantly being at the back and call of men who are *hot*--

**Nay:** *No*

**Chingy:** Oh God. Yeah, he probably hated women

**Mark:** Who need a breeze

**Michael:** (chuckling) Like physically hot

**Mark:** Who need a breeze. And worse (laughing) because this is a story being told to children, it ends with--

**Michael:** He doesn't only hate children

**Mark:** It ends with, "And by the way, if that makes you sad, extra time gets tacked on to Ariel's sentence every time a child is naughty."

**Nay:** Jesus Christ. This is bad as hell. Like, you're wind forever

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** And you know Ariel heard that and she's like, (sotto voce) "Motherfucker! I'm so *fucked*!"

**Chingy:** She was like, "I was gonna do my time, get through it…"

**Mark:** Yeah!

**Michael:** "Make them feel cooler for five seconds."

**Mark:** So, um, yeah. That's like, I was like, ***wow***, that is *really* awful!

**Chingy:** Well see, I knew the part that when she walks on the feet, it feels like *knives* every time. I didn't know the wind part

**Mark:** Yeah. The wind part's really--

**Chingy:** The wind part, that's, that's a lot. I was like, okay, you just went--

**Michael:** That's dark

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Mark:** "Every time a child is naughty, Ariel falls down a flight of stairs." It's just like--

**Michael:** Fuck

**Chingy:** 'Cause she didn't listen to Dad? All right, yeah

**Mark:** Yeah, I mean, good lord

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** So anyway

**Chingy:** But yeah, I liked that Golden-- it's Golden, we're yes, Golden, not Gold

**Michael:** Yes

**Mark:** Yes

**Michael:** Golden is the one with dark hair

**Chingy:** Yes

**Mark:** *Yes*

**Michael:** Silver has blond hair

**Mark:** I found myself getting--

**Chingy:** It's very confusing, yeah

**Michael:** I actually had to write it down 'coz the names--

**Mark:** They made--

**Michael:** Golden should actually go with the blond hair, but whatever

**Chingy:** But it's like, what if Ariel had a friend that gave a shit about her and was just like, "Hey, don't do this! Seriously, don't do this. Like, I will murder someone to save you."

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** Yeah. And she's like, "Men are tasty. You actually can just fuck them, eat them and be done with it."

**Michael:** Isn't that how they survive anyway, right? They eat men's hearts?

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** She's just like, "I just wanna eat men's hearts and then swim to America, and like, eat hearts there!"

**Nay:** (laughing) Yeah!

**Mark:** So it was around this section-- the movie didn't lose me--

**Michael:** Just bounced around a lot

**Mark:** But I definitely had a moment where I was like, I'm feeling like I don't know what this music video that I just stepped into is *doing* and maybe I'm thick and I don't get it…

**Chingy:** No, we were all--

**Nay:** We all talked about it, yeah

**Michael:** Yeah, it's--

**Mark:** Okay, but--

**Chingy:** Is it the poison part?

**Michael:** She had sex with the cop, then what

**Chingy:** I don't think that she was a cop

**Mark:** Well, I mean I *love, I love--*

**Chingy:** I love that

**Michael:** But she was on the news, talking about it

**Mark:** I love that when she has sex with a woman, it's like, *great*. It's *great*

**Nay:** *Yo*

**Chingy:** I don't think we actually see Golden-- it's so confusing. We don't actually see Golden *actually* sleep with a man, I think?

**Michael:** No, we don't

**Mark:** That's true

**Chingy:** I think we only see her *eating* men

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** Yeah. We only see her feeding

**Mark:** Yeah. She only sleeps with that lady cop

**Chingy:** I also--

**Mark:** (chuckling) I have to call her that because she sings a song called about like, "Taking You to Disneyland". I was like, "Oh, I like it!"

**Chingy:** Yeah. Yeah. It's a great song. That was-- *that* and the weird nursing scene were the two reasons why I was like, "I wanna do this movie!"

**Michael:** *Yes!*

**Mark:** Ohhh. Well, so I absolutely love those sequences, totally agree. What I am referring to is that after (pause to think) Golden eats--

**Michael:** (laughing)

**Mark:** I know! Why is this so hard?

**Michael:** 'Cause their hair colors was throwin' me

**Mark:** Yeah

**Chingy:** 'Coz Silver has golden hair almost

**Mark:** Right! That's what it is!

**Michael:** That's what it totally is! Yeah

**Chingy:** That's what it is

**Mark:** So after Golden eats that guy's heart, and then sort of like crawls with his heart in her mouth into the pond and I was just like, I love that it's this static shot and she was like, (grunt grunt) just tryin' to get down there

**Chingy:** Yes!

**Michael:** I also love--

**Mark:** I was like, "This movie's fucking insane. I love it." But it really is the *My So-Called Life* of cannibal mermaid movies, it's great

**Michael:** What's the *Felicity*?

**Mark:** The *Felicity* (laughs) of horny cannibal mermaids?

**Nay:** The drama

**Mark:** But following that, when the lure group watch-- see that news bit--

**Michael:** Right

**Mark:** Where it's like, (newscaster voice) "There was a guy found with his heart eaten," (normal voice) whatever and they were all like, "Uh-oh." I *liked* that they were like, "We're gonna punch them out and roll them up in a rug and throw them overboard." Like, "We don't want any part of that"? I was like, I get that. I get that

**Chingy:** But the following three scenes

**Nay:** Yeah, I dunno

**Mark:** But then the following three scenes of them--

**Chingy:** *Murdering* each other? Fighting?

**Mark:** Trying to kill each other

**Michael:** Yeah, what was happening?

**Chingy:** They're trying to kill each other

**Michael:** Were they a *family* family?

**Chingy and Mark:** Nnno

**Mark:** Krisiya and not!Evan Peters were--

**Chingy:** They had names???

**Mark:** I know.

**Michael:** I don't remember anyone else's name

**Mark:** They were together

**Michael:** Okay. I thought he was their son

**Mark:** And--

**Chingy:** Polish Dad

**Mark:** Yeah

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Mark:** Well, the guy who punches the--

**Chingy:** The drummer

**Michael:** Old No-Thumb

**Chingy:** (laughing) Old No-Thumb!

**Michael:** Who has a thumb later on in the movie

**Mark:** Right. *Right*. Oh, that was so great. Oh, fabulous moment

**Chingy:** Did he have a thumb later on?

**Michael:** Yeah, he had a thumb later on

**Mark:** (sotto voce) Oh my God

**Chingy:** Oh my God!

**Michael:** When he was like, weirdly dancing at the wedding, there's like--

**Nay:** Oh my God

**Chingy:** I love it. Because (indistinct)--

**Brennan:** Was he Polish?

**Michael:** Yeah, I was like, "I see both thumbs!"

**Chingy:** I remember that now

**Brennan:** Polish prosthetic science in the Eighties was just *really* on point

**Michael:** On the ball?

**Chingy:** It was there. They could take your lower half and that's--

**Nay:** Oh my God

**Mark:** Okay, first off the fact that she's like, laid out on that ice--

**Nay:** Ooof

**Mark:** Like sushi is amazing

**Nay:** Yes

**Michael:** It's so great

**Mark:** It's such a horrifying sequence, and a hilarious sequence and like--

**Michael:** The long table she's on?

**Chingy:** It's ridiculous

**Mark:** It's insane

**Chingy:** But no, that sequence with *first*, they're like, *trying* to kill each other?

**Mark:** Beat each other up?

**Chingy:** And just screaming at each other

**Mark:** And then they seem like they're nodding out on heroin?

**Michael:** Yeah

**Chingy:** It's like they're dead

**Nay:** Right!

**Michael:** Right! I thought they were dead, too

**Mark:** And then I was like, "Who is this blonde lady giving them IVs?"

**Chingy:** She was from the first scene

**Michael:** Yeah!

**Chingy:** She was from like, she was the exotic dancer in the *first* scene

**Mark:** Oh, *riiiight*

**Michael:** Ohhhh!

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** That was dancing, yeah. Like as part of their performance

**Chingy:** And at the end of the movie, she's with Old No-Thumbs

**Michael:** She's on the bench, right?

**Chingy:** No, she's with Old No-Thumbs, dancing

**Michael:** Oh!

**Chingy:** Whereas Krisiya, I am learning their names--

**Michael:** Is on the bench with another woman--

**Chingy:** Is on the bench

**Michael:** Who looked just like her, as well

**Chingy:** They all look the same

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** Okay. This was a digression that personally, I could have done without. I *feel* though, that based on the overall intelligence of the movie-- I mean, this movie has a *Teen Witch*-style musical number in a Polish mall

**Michael:** Yeah, that was amazing

**Chingy:** That was really good

**Michael:** I had to rewind it and be like, "*Wait*."

**Mark:** That was actually like ***amazing**!*

**Michael:** I was like, "Did I miss something? Are they famous now?"

**Nay:** Yeah. I love it

**Mark:** I was like, "*Oh my God!*"

**Chingy:** Just a lot of non-sequiturs.

**Michael:** Well, *yeah!*

**Mark:** Yeah!

**Chingy:** This is the thing. "Now we're here." It's crazy!

**Michael:** Well, yeah. Polish Daddy one minute is being accused by Polish Mommy--

**Chingy:** Of fuckin' the fish

**Michael:** Of fuckin' the fish, and the next minute--

**Chingy:** While she's fantasizing about

**Nay:** *Yes*

**Michael:** He's like punching the fish in the face

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** I'm like, "Wait. Did I have a bad copy here?"

**Nay:** She's like, "Let me smell your fingers."

**Michael:** Yeah

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** But I don't think he fucked the fish

**Mark:** No, I don't think so

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** I don't think so either

**Mark:** I think it was just like her paranoia

**Chingy:** She was projecting, 'coz she was (indistinct)

**Mark:** She was paranoid

**Michael:** What did he say, "Ate herring earlier?"

**Chingy:** And she's like on her fingers and it's like, yeah, you eat with your hands. I don't, I mean I don't know how Polish people eat

**Michael:** Ugh, so gross

**Mark:** Yeah, what did he say? Like, "I ate herring earlier?"

**Michael:** *Ughhhh!*

**Nay:** Yeah, "I had herring."

**Michael:** A *jar* of herring?

**Mark:** I was like, "Scope, motherfucker!"

**Michael:** Soap? Wash your fuckin' hands!

**Nay:** Stainless steel

**Mark:** Lis-👏te-👏rine!

**Michael:** I also love the police report when they're like, "We saw footprints and an amphibian trail." I'm like, "Did you not notice that the trail was like, six feet *wide* and like four hundred feet long?"

**Nay:** *Yo*. That scale Silver pulled out of her tail--

**Michael:** Yeah

**Nay:** Actually what I first thought was that she was gonna slit his throat with it. I don't know why

**Michael:** Oooh, that would've been cool!

**Chingy:** 'Coz you wanted a happy ending

**Nay:** (laughing) Yes! Exactly. *Ew,* that was so gross

**Mark:** That character really broke my heart

**Nay:** Silver?

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** For as wacky as the movie could be, the last moments, especially the final shot I found so, kind of sad--

**Nay:** Mmm-hmm

**Mark:** And just, I dunno. It's really stuck with me

**Michael:** I actually really thought when after she had her surgery and she's running on the treadmill, and then they start making out? I literally thought at some point like her body was gonna slide off

**Nay:** *Oooofff*

**Mark:** (grossed out) *Aaaahhhh*

**Michael:** Or like, something is gonna happen on that treadmill. And then it was like, visually even more horrifying when his face was like, it's like, "How dare you get your blood on me?"

**Chingy:** "Your blood from scars you've got"?

**Michael:** Like he's grossed out

**Nay:** Like, you *saw* what that scar looked like

**Chingy:** You could have just waited!

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** And the director, I believe it was the director or the producer related it to like, her having her period and men, chauvinist men freaking the fuck out that--

**Chingy:** Yeah. Being scared of period sex?

**Michael:** Yeah

**Nay:** Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. I found myself--

**Mark:** Yeah. Embrace the red wings, motherfucker

**Nay:** Seriously. Grow the fuck up.

**Michael:** Yeah. Get your--

**Mark:** I say that as a total purebred gay, but I like to think--

**Nay:** At least in theory

**Michael:** You would *so* go down there?

**Mark:** If I were straight or bi, "It's okay, babe." I'd be like, "It's cool, babe."

**Nay:** Or a man that has a period

**Michael:** (laughing) Oh my God! "*Babe.* *Bring it over here.*"

**Nay:** (singing) "Period sex…"

**Mark:** (joins in) "Period sex…"

**Chingy:** Oh my God, I'm so happy you were thinking the same thing as me, I love *Crazy Ex-girlfriend* so much! It's so good

**Nay:** I love it so much

**Chingy:** But I was hearing "Period Sex" in my head, too

**Mark:** For women specifically, what are the differences-- I don't mean-- this might be a stupid question

**Brennan:** What are the differences between men and women? Go!

**Mark:** "What's a penis?" Um, no. What are the differences in terms of like, period sex and sex when you are not having your period. Are there tangible differences physically for you in terms of pleasure or pain or what-have-you… I'm genuinely curious

**Nay:** Well…

**Mark:** Is that a stupid question?

**Nay:** Oh, no! I don't think-- it's definitely not a stupid question. I'm just like, "How much of this am I gonna talk about right now?"

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Mark:** Ohhhhh!

**Michael:** How much time you got?

**Nay:** (laughing) "How much time you got?"

**Chingy:** I wear gloves all the time, so it's like…

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** Like all the time, I'm wearing them right-- no. I wear nitrile gloves for sex in general--

**Mark:** Right

**Chingy:** Because I am a slut and have like sex with multiple people, and I want to be safe--

**Mark:** Right

**Chingy:** So I just use nitrile gloves in general, but it's the same. I dunno. There's just blood there

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** Get in the sandbox. Gonna make a castle, you know what I'm sayin'?

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Nay:** I feel like sometimes depending on how your hormones are set up, like maybe you're *extremely horny* during your period.

**Chingy:** For sure. Yeah

**Nay:** Like hornier than you are-- some people find themselves the *most horny* while they're on their period, so they're like--

**Mark:** Got it

**Michael:** (sotto voce) "I wanna be…"

**Nay:** "You gonna fuck me."

**Mark:** So, there you go

**Michael:** (chuckling) "You gonna fuck me"

**Nay:** You know? But other than that, I'm-- (laughing) "*You gonna fuck me*"

**Mark:** (as Hulk Hogan) "Let me tell you something!"

**Nay:** But, you know, physically I'm just like, "There's some blood there."

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** Just pretend it's cherry lube, in the words of Rachel Bloom

**Nay:** I'm like, "There's a puppy pad down anyways, don't worry about it."

**Mark:** *Wooo!*

**Michael:** *Ernie!* (The sound guy)

**Mark:** Ernie's like, "I walked out for five minutes…"

**Chingy:** You can't see it but he's giving us a look like, "You're spectacular."

**Mark:** I love it

**Chingy:** Always a puppy pad, always nitrile gloves

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** I love it!

**Nay:** We good to go, bruh. I mean, we're not worried about it

**Mark:** Love it

**Nay:** Doesn't stop nothin' but a sentence, isn't that what the saying is? "A period doesn't end anything but a sentence"?

**Mark:** Oh, I never heard that before

**Chingy:** I like that

**Mark:** I like that, too

**Chingy:** But as far as like, all the blood and stuff, it also does just *very* clearly seem to be a really direct thing about trans women and like, transitioning it seems like--

**Mark:** The movie?

**Chingy:** Yeah, the movie!

**Mark:** Oh my God! Well, I don't feel particularly equipped to talk about that, but I would love for this to be part of the discussion, certainly

**Chingy:** I don't either, but in general, the subtext of it-- there's not even really subtext. Someone straight up says to her, "You want a pussy, huh?"

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** Yeah

**Chingy:** And that person is coded as a trans character, it seems

**Brennan:** Oh yeah

**Chingy:** And--

**Mark:** Was it the woman--

**Michael:** The woman smoking

**Brennan:** The woman smoking out front

**Mark:** The one who's like (gruff voice) "Here, have your first cigarette!"

**Chingy:** She's like, "Have a cigarette," and literally is just like, "So you want a pussy, huh? You'll lose your voice though."

**Brennan:** That's Ursala. She's Ursala

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** See, okay, so humans know the *lore* of what will happen to these mermaids, but everyone is *amazed* to see these mermaids

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** Yeah, that's really funny--

**Chingy:** That's what I was thinking

**Michael:** She is essentially the one that tells her what could happen to her, righr?

**Chingy:** Yeah, she's like, "You're gonna lose your voice." And she's like, "How do you know this?"

**Nay:** *Yeah*

**Mark:** Yeah

**Chingy:** Is she…? Yeah, I don't get it

**Brennan:** Everyone's weirdly cool with the fact that they're mermaids 'coz everybody knows

**Nay:** *Yo,* chill!

**Chingy:** Everybody loses their shit

**Nay:** (chuckles) Yeah

**Mark:** That's one of the things that I *love* about the movie, is that it's *so* deadpan in terms of like, it's clearly taking place-- it's a brilliant touch to not make that an issue because it really allows the movie to get to, just really focus on the characters in terms of, and the themes that it wants to study, such as male/female relationships or what it means to be a trans person, or an immigrant. Especially an immigrant woman in Poland at a certain time. And the fact that everyone's like, "Oh yeah, wow. Mermaids. Fuck. Hey, you should be in the show!"

**Chingy:** It's really good at getting to the point

**Mark:** *Yeah!*

**Chingy:** Which leads to a lot of the non-sequiturs--

**Michael:** Right

**Nay:** Yeah

**Mark:** That's what makes it funny

**Chingy:** And then it's also like, they just met. Or she gets, Silver gets blood on Polish Evan Peters. Evan Peters goes to a sound engineer to get tape recorded

**Michael:** Jizzes as they're getting married

**Chingy:** Jizzes. They're getting married now

**Mark:** Yeah, and like Robyn is in the studio or something

**Michael:** That's when I was like, "Wait. She's still on crutches, so it can't be that long after her surgery, but she's gonna marry him…"

**Nay:** (scoffs) *Yo*, I was so *uncomfortable!*

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Nay:** Watching her try to *walk*, try to live her, live in this new body--

**Chingy:** That she changed *for* this person

**Nay:** That she changed for this person! And then when she pulls her clothes off, I'm like, "Oh, they--" 'coz to me, if someone pulled off their clothing, I know they're rehabilitating from this *major* surgery--

**Mark:** Yeah, you'd think

**Chingy:** You'd expect--

**Nay:** And I see the stitches and the-- my first thought, I mean, I might be thinking, "This person is attractive 'coz that's boo, that's my boo, y'know, but I'm gonna fuck this person now?" No, that's not what I'm thinking. I'm literally--

**Mark:** "Do you want some soup?"

**Nay:** Yeah, I'm so like empathetic, I'm cringing for them with every step

**Michael:** "Do you want your bandages changed?"

**Chingy:** Yeah. "Let me clean this for you."

**Michael:** Yeah

**Nay:** Yeah, like, "Let's give this some time."

**Mark:** Well that's what's-- you know, the more we talk about it and the more we think about it--

**Michael:** "Would you want me to rub some petroleum jelly on it?"

**Mark:** Whether you decide to look at *The Lure* as a trans allegory or an immigrant allegory or just as a sort of allegory of everything that women do for men that ends up going unappreciated, *The Lure* really belongs next to *Teeth* on the "Men are trash" shelf of the video store

**Chingy:** It really does

**Michael:** Well the--

**Nay:** I love it

**Michael:** I can't remember if it was the writer or the director… it must have been the writer 'coz their big take on the script was that it was a satire on chauvinistic objectification and how horrible men are

**Chingy:** Yeah, and they really push it *hard*

**Michael:** Yeah. Even the one song is like, "The city will tell us what we lack."

**Mark:** Ugh

**Michael:** Like, *fuck!*

**Chingy:** Yeah, I noticed that. Yeah Yeah yeah

**Michael:** I'm like, okay. And that's another reason why. watching it a second time and knowing a little more about where just *they* were coming from as far as like, making the movie, I started like, "How did I not see this the first time i watched it?" But as soon as I saw that song a second time, I was like, "Shit, this movie *does* have a lot to say."

**Nay:** I keep thinking about when Golden poured the water on her legs--

**Mark:** Mmmm

**Nay:** When she was in bed, about to sleep with the lady cop

**Mark:** Uh-huh

**Nay:** *That was amazing*

**Michael:** Lickin' those scales

**Chingy:** So, I have a question pertinent to that. Are (Golden and Silver) explicitly said to be sisters in the movie?

**Brennan:** I think they *are*

**Nay:** I thought they were, but I guess I don't know if they were

**Chingy:** 'Cause I--

**Mark:** The relationship feels-- Oh sorry, go ahead

**Chingy:** No, it does feel very sisterly but also it feels like a lot of the time Golden is jealous--

**Nay:** Yes

**Chingy:** Of who--

**Michael:** Of whoever's with Silver?

**Chingy:** And they could just be incestuous cannibal mermaids, it's not that far of a stretch

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** They could still be sisters, yeah. But like, there's that scene where they *are* in the mall where Silver *grabs* Golden's face and like pulls it really close--

**Nay:** *Yeah*

**Chingy:** And then pulls away and Golden looks *upset*

**Nay:** Yeah!

**Chingy:** It's like, "I love you! Why aren't you noticing and spending time with me? Why are you wasting your time and changing yourself for this dude?" And, I dunno

**Nay:** Yeah

**Michael:** Which is interesting 'coz Golden was the one who decided that she wanted to stay and like, play, in the beginning, right? Like she was like, "Let's hang out here for a little bit and see what happens."

**Chingy:** But she was also watching Silver and she was like, "You're gonna fall for that dude. Don't do that."

**Nay:** "You're gonna fall in love." Yeah

**Chingy:** "Let's just go to America soon."

**Mark:** You know, it's interesting you're bringing up something a little bit more, the *end* ends up being a little bit more of a dance between all the characters, not just between Silver and, um…

**Chingy:** Polish Evan Peters

**Mark:** Polish Evan Peters. Or as we can call him now, "Pep".

**Chingy:** Good ol' Pep!

**Mark:** Is that she's making, if Silver's making this choice to y'know, "No, I'm gonna let him live. I love him enough that I'm gonna let him go." It's very tragic and selfless of her. And what's interesting is that *Golden* seems to know from the very beginning what is going to happen here, and yet she loves, and if and if there actually is a quasi-lesbian element to their affair, unrequited to their relationship as you're inferring, which I think is actually really smart. I would like to watch the movie again to study that. But she loves Silver enough to let *her* go and do something. And so, it's wild to me how this movie manages to smuggle in these deeply melancholy, deeply sad themes throughout this like, wacky. wacky, *wacky* fuckin' movie. And I dunno. It just really hit me hard at the end. Those credits rolled and I was just like, (gasps, sighs)

**Chingy:** Yeah. Yeah

**Michael:** Yeah, I was surprised it worked for me just from the standpoint that like, I don't think (Pep) ever did anything that she, *why* she would love him?

**Nay:** Oh, *yeah*

**Chingy:** What he did was, when she was--

**Mark:** He *was in the band, Michael! He was in a band!*

**Michael:** (effeminate voice) "He starred in *American Horror Story*.")

**Chingy:** When they were doing the dance scene at the mall, (Silver) spins too fast and gets a nosebleed and he picks her up. That's it. And then she's like...

**Mark:** (dully) *Wow*. (normal voice) I mean--

**Brennan:** That's how straight people work

**Michael:** He Eighties teen comedy'd her?

**Chingy:** Straight women are like, "When he…"

**Nay:** "When he doesn't shit on the carpet"? Oh my God! There's this-- I was, yes, you know, there's this meme right now--

**Chingy:** That's what I literally was-- (laughing)

**Nay:** And it's like, "Nobody (colon) nothing." And then "Straight Girls: When he doesn't shit on the carpet" with like hearts for eyes. Yes, exactly. Bar's so low

**Chingy:** It's such a low bar!

**Mark:** It's true. It takes so little. And you know, this applies obviously to gay men too, y'know, anybody who is attracted to men, sometimes it's so easy to get dickmatized

**Michael:** Gay men just need to see a pic of an abs and they're--

**Chingy:** Did you say, "Dickmatized"?

**Mark:** Yeah

**Chingy:** I've never heard that term before

**Mark:** What's that?

**Michael:** Like, some gay men just need to see a picture of abs and they're set

**Nay:** Or horny. Oh my God

**Mark:** There's that, there's that. But that ends up being more about their own narcissism and what they think, like, "Oh, this is part of the matching set of my life"

**Michael:** Right. Boyfriend twins?

**Mark:** But you know, like my playset that I exist in? I dunno. People are fuckin' weird.

**Chingy:** Lesbians have those. We have "Dyke Likes"

**Brennan:** Oooh!

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Mark:** Same principle

**Chingy:** It's where you look exactly the same, yeah. I always say there's two types of lesbians. Lesbians who date someone who looks exactly like them, and lesbians who date someone who looks *exactly* like someone from their past that they can't quite put their finger on.

**Mark:** Somebody online said this past week that a gay version of *Us* wouldn't work because gay people, we would just fuck our--

**Michael:** Just end up dating their doppelgangers

**Chingy:** I love Golden. Golden is great

**Michael:** Yeah, she's great

**Mark:** She's got that great, she's got a great face too, because sometimes you look at her from the side-- I love the actors, if you look at them from one angle they can be kind of plain. And then you look at her head-on and you're just kind of, "Oh, *Jesus*." Like feral sex monster, I love it

**Chingy:** Yeah. Golden knows that she's being sexualized and fetishized. She gets that. Silver doesn't--

**Michael:** Mmm-mmm

**Chingy:** Golden uses it

**Mark:** Yeah

**Chingy:** At that point where she first goes and kills the guy, another guy comes up to her and is just like, "You know I have a thing for you." And she's just like--

**Chingy and Mark**: (almost in unison) "I love you. Don't tell anyone."

**Mark:** *So great*

**Michael:** That's so great

**Chingy:** And I was like, "You bitch. I love you. I love that!"

**Michael:** Apparently that actress plays a sphynx cat in a short by the same director

**Nay:** Yeah, I can see that

**Chingy:** I can see it, yeah

**Michael:** So I kinda wanna see that, because she's really good at destructive animals

**Nay:** Yeah, I'll watch that

**Mark:** And that's yet another way the movie works so well, is that it-- because the movie starts out with them standing up stark naked, turning around just sort of like, "You wanna see my lack of butthole? Sure."

**Nay:** He like, lifts her leg up

**Mark:** Yeah. "I got no kitty either, you know what I mean?"

**Michael:** I actually wrote down, "No buttholes"

**Chingy:** I also wrote that!

**Michael:** I wrote a note: "No buttholes or vaginas," in case I forgot!

**Chingy:** I wrote, "No holes, but they got fish pussy" in all caps

**Mark:** Yeah! I love how unabashedly completely matter-of-fact they are. They stand up and are just like, "Yeah! Neat club you got here! Like, whatever." It's great!

**Michael:** Well, the thing that's so brilliant about that is they're jumping on a couch like they're jumping on a bed, like they're two little kids

**Mark:** Right. Exactly

**Michael:** That's what I love about them

**Chingy:** They're like, "A breadstick? I'd love one!" You've never had a breadstick?

**Nay:** Same

**Mark:** And the journey of them being like that, Chingy, what you're describing, is realizing that she's in a game that she can either play or be played

**Chingy:** Mmm-hmm

**Mark:** And that's yet another way *The Lure* is just, in ninety minutes--

**Michael:** I want more tales of Golden

**Nay:** *Yes!*

**Mark:** Just ninety minutes, sneaks *so* much stuff in, it's amazing

**Michael:** I hope Golden found another fish person

**Nay:** When I first saw Silver, I thought that Silver was just going to start eating mad people just 'cause of those eyes

**Michael:** Same

**Chingy and Mark:** Mmm-hmm

**Nay:** I was like, "Those all black eyes? She about to eat people left and right," y'know?

**Mark:** Yep

**Michael:** Yeah. That thumb bite

**Chingy:** I *love* that bite!

**Michael:** So fuckin' good

**Mark:** Oh, it was so fuckin' good

**Michael:** *So* good

**Mark:** She was like, "I forgive you. Om-nom-nom-nom!"

**Nay:** So when the lady cop is tribbing the mermaid's cell--

**Chingy:** Oh yeah?

**Nay:** (sighs) So fucking amazing

**Chingy:** What did you guys think of the lyrics and music in it?

**Mark:** Wonderful

**Michael:** Some were great, some I was like, "Okay."

**Mark:** Well, look. I don't think you can fully judge those lyrics--

**Michael:** True

**Mark:** They're translated from Polish

**Michael:** True

**Chingy:** And they're translated to, at least on the Amazon translation I was watching, they're all translated to rhyme, like *in English*

**Nay:** Ohh

**Michael:** Oh, yeah. I watched on iTunes and they definitely were

**Nay:** Mine was, yeah. I watched it on YouTube, yeah

**Mark:** The Criterion version is translated to rhyme

**Michael:** Okay, that's the version I watched

**Nay:** I wonder what version we watched?

**Mark:** I feel like that might be the only edition that exists on multiple platforms

**Michael:** Mine said "Criterion Collection" on iTunes

**Mark:** But here's the thing. Like, you know, is that some of the-- I love all the melodies. Do I think that some of the lyrics I was kind of, (out of the side of his mouth) "What? Okay, sure." (normal voice) But at the same time, the fact that the very first song started out like, "Here, boys! Come here! We're not gonna eat you!"

**Nay:** "We're not gonna eat you!"

**Chingy:** "We won't eat you! We won't eat you!"

**Mark:** The fact that that wit was *there*…

**Chingy:** Yeah

**Michael:** Yeah

**Mark:** That it was *so* clearly meant to make you laugh right out from the top, I was just like, okay. Clearly these must be incredibly intelligent lyrics that we're only sort of getting, like--

**Nay:** Mmm-hmm

**Chingy:** Anything I didn't necessarily get, I was like, "It's probably a Polish thing."

**Mark:** Yeah. Exactly

**Chingy:** "I was talking about ravens packing at nuts" in the lyrics of a song? It's probably a Polish thing. I dunno

**Mark:** I guess we'll never know!

**Chingy:** Yeah!

**Michael:** I liked the differences in them. Like you'd be in a very somber song, and then you're in the aisles of a grocery store trying on shoes

**Mark:** *Oh*

**Michael:** In the *Legally Blonde* version

**Chingy:** I really liked the couplet, "They asked for fruity and amare, and now they're going to be sorry." I was like, oh, that's supposed to rhyme. Okay. Alright, I'm now understanding what's happening here

**Mark:** I remember that moment! And I remember being like, "All right, *The Lure*. You win."

**Chingy:** There was like, "Daddy has no buts regarding sluts." I'm like, "All right." I was like, "*Okay.*"

**Nay:** That was a stretch

**Mark:** That was the one where I was like, "*Ohhh-kay*."

**Mark:** Well, I love this movie

**Michael:** I do, too

**Nay:** Me, too

**Mark:** I love that--

**Nay:** Yeah, thank you so much

**Mark:** You suggested this as a topic

**Chingy:** I was so glad to do it

**Mark:** The leather bars really do need to be integrated, gender-wise

**Chingy:** They really do. I used to live in the Bay Area and it feels way more integrated there

**Mark:** Yeah

**Chingy:** The leather scene here (in Los Angeles) is very not integrated

**Mark:** Nope

**Chingy:** I was one of like, eight, at an event at Faultline recently and it's just like I need it to--

**Mark:** (softly) Oh my God

**Chingy:** I'm really-- yeah. I'm excited to get more L.A. lesbians and queers in general into leather

**Mark:** Love it!

**Chingy:** And leather queer dance party

**Mark:** Hear hear

**Michael:** Cool!

**Chingy:** It's all about working out your mommy issues

**Nay:** Okay

**Nay:** Where can people find you on social media?

**Chingy:** "TheGayChingy" is my social media

**Michael:** Great!

**Chingy:** There was a rapper from the early 2000s named Chingy

**Nay:** Oh yeah. "I like the way you do that right therre…"

**Chingy:** Yeah. "Tap that all of the day…". I'm not gonna do that again

**Michael:** What the hell was that?

**Chingy:** And I'm the gay one, so "TheGayChingy". I post lots of stuff there. A lot of memes

**Nay:** *Really* good memes

**Chingy:** Thank you.

**Nay:** Yeah

**Chingy:** Yeah. I do my best. It's so funny. No matter how many articles I write, if I like do stand-up or anything, people are always gonna be like, "Oh, you make those memes, right?" And I'm like, "Uh, yeah, I'm the meme bitch, that's me."

## **Next Episode**

Episode 29: "Baby's First Podcast" (w/ Ben J. Baur!)