Whip Your Kids

**Whip Yo' Kids** is the 17th song released by Your Favorite Martian and the 1st video animated by Cosmic Toast Studios. It features Puff expressing his frustration with parents as he argues that corporal punishment is the only way for a child to truly learn their lesson. It features Nice Peter, known for Epic Rap Battles of History (which at the time was owned by Maker Studios).

LYRICS

[Verse 1: Puff Puff Hambert]

I don't know if you're aware, but your kids suck ass

You need someone to whip 'em then, ha, just ask

'Cause they ain't as perfect as you say is

They ain't perfect at all, you raisin' Bebe's kids!

I'm sorry, I don't know you, I don't mean to get pissy

But you need to discipline your bratty kids, you hippy

Like, "Come here, you little jerk, taste the back of my palm"

"But you ain't my daddy!"

"Nah, but I'm doin' ya mom!"

Now I know you think they're angels, but they're driving me insane

I'll punch a baby in the face just for crying on a plane

Cause I don't mess around

You need to control them or I'll lose it

"But I made you a drawing!"

Shut the fuck up kid, that's stupid

Now I'ma get my truck, I'ma load all my boys in back

I'ma find out where you live and break all your toys in half

And I know it ain't your birthday, but when nobody's lookin'

I'ma give you a little present

"What?" An ass-whoopin'!

[Chorus: Nice Peter]

Please, may I whip your kids?

Please, may I whip your kids?

Please, may I whip your kids?

Please, may I whip your kids?

Please, let me whip your kids

Please, I wanna whip your kids

Please, let me whip your kids

Please, I wanna whip your kids

[Verse 2: Puff Puff Hambert]

I never ever thought I'd say a kid deserved to get hit

But it's obvious, time-out ain't workin' for shit!

Yeah, I've seen your parenting style, it ain't all that

You gotta hit the little brat with a wiffle ball bat

'Cause this is obviously more than just a youthful rebellion

You gotta belt the little hellions with a belt when they yellin'

'Cause you don't want me to do it, cause I'll paint their little brains all over the wall

When I spank 'em with a chainsaw

And why they actin' wild and loose?

If they deserve the ass-whoopin', it ain't child abuse

When I'm trynna buy groceries and they're muckin' up my style

They're like drunken little midgets, runnin' up and down the aisle

Touchin' everything in sight, and geez, for Christ's sake

I think one of 'em just stuck his little penis in my cake!

Now I'ma have to put it back and get a new one and it bugs me

"But Mommy says I'm beautiful!"

Shut the fuck up, kid, you're ugly

[Hook: Nice Peter]

Please, may I whip your kids?

Please, may I whip your kids?

Please, may I whip your kids?

Please, may I whip your kids?

Please, let me whip your kids

Please, I wanna whip your kids

Please, let me whip your kids

Please, I wanna whip your kids

[Bridge: Nice Peter]

Please, let me whip your children

Please, let me whip yo' kids

I can't stand kids misbehavin'

Runnin' around and disobeyin'

All they need is a kick in the pants

A punt in the butt, a lesson that'll finally shut 'em up

Please, let me whip your children

Please, let me whip yo' kids

[Hook: Nice Peter]

Please, may I whip your kids?

Please, may I whip your kids?

Please, may I whip your kids?

Please, may I whip your kids?

Please, let me whip your kids

Please, I wanna whip your kids

Please, let me whip your kids

Please, I wanna whip your kids

[Outro: Puff Puff Hambert]

Oh, come on people, it's a joke

We would never hit anyone's kid, come on!

I love kids!

Come here and give me a hug you little rugrats!

Hey, what the—what?

Watch this! - Your Favorite Martian - Whip Your Kids (featuring Nice Peter) [Official Music Video]