Private Potato

## The Story

### ***Childhood Troubles***

Private Po Tato was born in Wales, Cardiff 1914. His parents, To Tato and No Tato. Po Tato (or Potato for short), was born as a 20lb boy, rather tall and built for sports like rugby. As a young boy, he had very little, as world war one was ongoing. His father, To Tato, fought in the war, and passed away under Austrian gunfire in 1916, when Potato was just 2 years old. The loss of his father had a lasting effect on the young boy.

Potato was a happy boy, the war ending in 1918, Potato was happy again, he was so happy, he was able to attend school, run around again, they were richer, little did he know how it would change. The first day back in school, Potato's mother, No Tato, was mugged for all she had (which was little). The few rations she had, were left on her. Yet now they were stolen.

Potato continued to attend school that day, and he was hungry, they couldn't afford school lunches. The boy returned home to find his mother lying in a pool of her own blood, hand still clenched against the knife that did it, her eyes open, popping out slightly. The last look of fear and regret still etched upon her face. 4 year old Potato had been taken home by his headmaster, as no one had come to collect him. The headmaster had left him at the door.

It would be wrong of me to say this was suicide. This was anything but, as Potato would later find out. Once turned 8 years old, he returned to his boarding school, where he was to be raised, and meet the love of his life, Potatina. However he soon would change from his harsh school life, so weak and whipped by wood, he had splinters all over him. It would come as a shock to find out, Potatoes father was far from dead. How could he be dead when he was standing directly in front of the confused, bewildered, and terrified Potato.

### ***The evil DNA he possesses***

When I spoke of To Tato earlier, I didn't mention his history. No Tato didn't love this man. Far from it. She despised him. I am probably confusing you here, I wouldn't be surprised if you were bewildered, I would be too! I only told you about how the war was hard and that was it. I didn't tell you of To Tato's cowardice. To Tato you see, never died. In fact, If I'd told you, you would have known he had faked his death another 43 TIMES. If I had told you this information you see, you would have maybe suspected this.

See To Tato was actually a fraud. Pictured on the right, he was a short ginger man obsessed with the letter M. To Tato actually was a murderer. Not that you didn't already figure it out. He had killed No Tato. This however was no accident, no impulse, but carefully planned out. See To Tato had killed someone, the only witness, you guessed it, No Tato. To Tato didn't trust being away from his wife, as he thought she would snitch on him, so he ran away to war. Once again he faked his death.

So now you understand the motivation behind it, but why did it take so long for him to come back and do it? Well the answer to that is see, financial stuff. After faking your death its hard to find jobs and take out loans, especially when you don't speak French. In fact, he didn't even speak English, he only spoke Welsh. However after a year of surviving on the wild, he escaped back to England, travelled to Cardiff, and stuck that knife inside the No Tato.

This was all told to 8 year old Potato, as his father expressed his sorrow, though it was fairly obvious to Potato that he was lying. Little Potato was now bigger and stronger than his father, at 8 years old. His father drove and drove and drove. Until they reached Mt. Snowdon. Up and Up they climbed, till a cliff with a beautiful view, where a little Potato was pushed off.

### ***Dead***

Potato dropped, and dropped and dropped, and plummeted. I'm sure you are expecting me to tell you he MGL clutched or something, but no, he very much died. And he remained dead for another 20 years, only ageing to age 25, as the process was slowed down. This was until a Certain someone appeared by his corpse. You may know then by the name ***Belenus***. Belenus was there, and as the god of healing, he healed Potato, bringing him back from the dead.

Belenus, was there, Belenus had revived him. As Potato awoke, he realized how the world had changed around him. Belenus knelt to him and said Brythia am byth. Meaning Brythia forever in welsh. It was then that Potato decided to create the Brythian Merchants, alongside Mk2 Adam, and they set out to lead it with pride.

He arrived in his beloved cove, and set out to create his military, to defeat all those against Belenus. He trained daily, hard and fast, he worked harder and harder by the day, until he was so wet from the rain, his fingers became white raisins. Yet he knew he couldn't stop, mustn't stop Belenus had given him a second chance and he was to repay his god for that.

As he looked around, he noticed the indigenous people, on the shroomish isle beside his beloved Brythia. He knew in that moment, he must seize the island, and make them pay for disrespecting Belenus by worshiping others. As he prepared to build his fleet, and prepared to launch an invasion, Belenus appeared, handing him some splash healing potions, telling him, this is my gift, for respecting my honor, I knew you would repay me.

Potato headed to the cove to gear up, who knew how well these indigenous Belenus-haters would fight. Until today, the crusade, still has not happened. But it very much will happen soon, I am sure of it.