Marius Asclepius

> "Words speak louder than actions, WHEN YOU'RE MARIUS FREAKING ASCLEPIUS!!!"
>
> Shouted over a megaphone to a crowd of millions

Ego Incarnate

## Overview

A famous Wannabe Mary Sue lawyer from Pasta Land who everyone shares viral clips about online, because court OWNS are the best kind of OWNS, because it's THE LEGAL SYSTEM DOING IT. Fame might've gotten to his head a little bit, but he deserves it because he's AMAZING.

Like a true Italian stereotype, he is OBSESSED with pasta and eats it all the time. It's the only meal he can actually cook without ruining it. Okay, he can probably make a sandwich too, or a microwave pizza.

He's a silly man who thinks words can kill people, and with him at the helm, they probably can. Oh shoot, he's picking up the phone. He's making a call. Oh god, someone help, there's an assassin after me. It's probably the same one that killed Absit's happiness.

## Indepth History

He was born to rich Italian parents who owned Pharmaceutical stuff, and they were all "Haha, poor people have no money; let's make them have even *less* money by raising prices," and Marius initially embraced this, and had tons of friends because he'd pay for all sorts of things, but then he thought "man, this is kind of boring," and decided amassing thick stacks of cash was too easy, and he'd rather amass public opinion, which was far more fun and exciting to do, given it was a sort of 'puzzle' to figure people out.

So he ditched the family business and decided to become an independent lawyer in Germany instead. While not nearly as rich as his family, being a FREAKING LAWYER made him decently wealthy, but more importantly, he gained a large *following* of fans, both in his everyday life and around the globe.

To this day, he's still building his 'brand,' where the 'brand' is just him, as a person.

EVERYBODY, FAWN. HE'S THE COOLEST, SMARTEST MAN ALIVE WITH NO FLAWS, EXCEPT FOR THINGS HIS DETRACTORS *SAY* ARE FLAWS, BUT ARE ACTUALLY ENDEARING, LIKE HIS CUTE INABILITY TO COOK OR HIS SLY ATTITUDE AGAINST OPPONENTS.

He is a proud Mary Sue.

...Or *is* he one...?

## Philosophy

"I speak and others listen, and you may *call* those who follow my every word 'retards,' but if that's what makes them happy, then who's to judge? Better follow *me* than someone more insidious, right? What am *I* gonna' do to them? Make them a better *person*, through my wisdom and can-do attitude~?"

## Fears or Something

* ***HE FEARS NOTHING.***
* Except maybe people finding out that he's a little shit online, under other aliases.
	+ He's kind of childish and petty on these alts, making fun of people all the time, which *heavily* contrasts with his rather uplifting motivational front he puts on in public. He'd definitely trend on Twitter if people found out.

## Relationships

* PCs:
	+ **Gatlin Clingman:** His best friend in later life (he only met him in his thirties), who idolizes him. Marius was the one who convinced Gatlin that his THICK ITALIAN ACCENT was not something to be ashamed of, and Gatlin thanked him by sending him a photo of his THICK ITALIAN DICK over Snapchat, two years later, after they became besties. Marius rated him 7 Rigatonis out of 10 and did NOT send his own dick back. Acting super gay for each other is their thing, despite not being interested in each other in the least. It annoys all their other friends (and Marius' husband). This doesn't phase them.
	+ **Piper Gomorrah:** Who?
	+ **Torsten Büchne:** What?
	+ **Roxana Negrescu:** How?
	+ **Genevieve Montefort:** When?
* Friends:
	+ I dunno.

## Trivia

* He's a card carrying Pastafarian.
* His animal is the bull, because he BULLies all his detractors with alt accounts online—oh, and also because he's stubborn.
* The real reason he left Italy was because his ego was so big it no longer fit in the country and he had to move to a bigger one (Germany). He might have to move to America soon, for the same reason.
* He is AU Zane because he was originally designed as a husband for SHHH, NOT HERE, though his personality doesn't relate much (aside from them both having egos at base).

## Gallery

He might be in a Killing Game soon. We shall see. Marimoo, will you kill or be killed?Or so the Italians CLAIM.The coolest man alive, making his exit.