I Hate The Postal Service

"*Man, you know, I never really took time to think about people who rely on The Postal Service. It's kinda... I don't know why that never occurred to me.*"
―Erik
I Hate The Postal Service is the 120th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on August 31, 2020.

## Summary

Erik confesses that he hates The Postal Service. He sees a video of Jim Jordan agreeing with him about how bad the Postal Service is. Erik gets upset that everyone is treating him so poorly and sends a supportive tweet his way. Then Erik finds out that the Postal Service has its own police force and Erik is shocked that the conversation about the Postal Service got so political.

Erik finds a news story about the Postal Service intentionally slowing down mail and ballots. He gets confused why so many people are getting political over a pop band and he leaves his comment. He talks about the sponsor Babbel and decides he doesn't need to make a three minute movie to advertise it. But he did anyway and he plays The Man and the Relic.

Erik asks people in video games what they think about the Postal Service, but they give the wrong answer so he teamkills them. Then he finds a video on Facebook of people defending the Postal Service so he leaves some comments there. He also wants to know what people are talking about when they say they want to privatize the Postal Service, so he watches one video to take as fact.

Finally, Erik goes to the Postal Service's Facebook page to let everyone know how awful they are. But then he finds all sorts of wholesome, heartwarming comments about people that love the Postal Service. He realizes that he hasn't considered all of the people that depend on the Postal Service and need it in their lives. He sends some apology pics of his face pasted over women in bikinis. He also laughs at an idiot that mixed up the band The Postal Service with the actual Postal Service. Then he asks Alexa to play a song from The Postal Service but she refuses and instead puts on Rotten Pineapple Erik so he can tell Erik that Wilford Brimley died.

Then Erik learns that The Postal Service disbanded in 2013.

## Comments

*This isn't about the Postal Service. It's about politics. pic.twitter.com/aWEB5ay3j6*
- @Jim\_Jordan

*Yo you talk like a pervert but I agree with what you said. We gotta break up The Postal Service and figure out how they have so much money! DOWN WITH THE POSTAL SERVICE!*
- Erik

*Gotta tell you, I did not expect this topic to get so political but the more I learn about The Postal Service the more I'm realizing they got their hooks in just about everything. I mean what's next I'm gonna find out The Postal Service police dug up my ex-wife in the middle of the
woods and now they've got some questions for me? Well good luck @ssholes because I don't care who you work for, I never met a cop whose dick I couldn't suck to get out of trouble.*
- Reginald Titslap

*I'm filled to the brim with 💩 because my owner is too*
- DonsDiaper

*This is what you all get for trusting your mail to the same group that cost us an extra Death Cab for Cutie record in 2002 right between “The Photo Album" and "Transatlanticism," when they were at the very peak of their brilliance. And no, "You Can Play These Songs with Chords“ does NOT count because it was just a re-issue of 1998's "Something About Airplanes" so do your own research. Also I don't know why I need to explain this, but there should be like a LOT of people delivering the mail. Why would anyone want less people delivering the mail? That's fuckin stupid plus it explains why so many of my mail-in ballots keep getting returned to sender. I dunno about you assholes but if I don't mail 100 fake votes every month John Podesta says he's gonna sell my kids to Wayfair and I really don't want to have to buy an expensive cabinet just to get them back.**I hope whoever gets put in charge of the mail next knows what the hell they're doing because my Nana has been waiting months for her anti-seizure medication and she's the only school bus driver in her town that isn't on a ventilator. But yeah let's cripple the mail system by putting some unqualified dickhead in charge who could just leave whenever he wants and still have a lucrative day job to fall back on. I'd expect no less from the same country that has to put bulletproof vests on 5G towers and turns into a giant bugchasing party the second a global pandemic hits. And what the fuck is up with all the political comments? Jesus Christ I can't wait for this election to be over so everything can go back to normal. Alright fuck The Postal Service.*
- Erik

*Great reliability!!?? Ha!! Tell that to my dead chicks you starved in a box for a week!!!!!*
- LJ

*My chick starved too! Which Wayfair cabinet did you buy I got the "Lisa." Total waste of 20 grand.*
- Reginald Titslap

*No don't let them sell out the postal service.*
- Fran

*They sold out when they put out a half-assed "remastered"album with the only additional content being solo projects from two of the founding members*
- Reginald Titslap

*I ordered a twenty thousand dollar cabinet from Wayfair and it took so long to show up it had a full grown adult inside.*
- Reginald Titslap

*Oh sure privatize The Postal Service, real fuckin smart, like just let anybody be The Postal Service if they've got the money. That's sure not gonna lead to a bunch of shitty knockoffs who charge twice as much for the same exact thing. Can't wait to see a “The Postal Service" fee added to my Comcast bill that I have no way of getting rid of without signing a new contract that allows Josh Gad to come fuck my wife. Please let me live in a world where The Postal Service of all things is so important and so talented that we're gonna let billionaires control a piece of them? You guys are taking this too far, I wish I could just go back to when The Postal Service wasn't in every fucking headline I read. Why not privatize
Wayfair cabinets while you're at it? Billionaires already buy a ton of those so we might as well put em in charge of whatever the hell is going on there.**But hey fuck me right I'm just some guy who didn't even like The Postal Service to begin with and now I'm defending them because what you want is so much dumber. To quote my good friend Don's Diaper, “I'm filled to the brim with 💩 because my owner is too" ....wait I just realized that's a political joke FUCK SORRYYY*
- Erik

*NICE SHITTY BAND ASSHOLES*
- Salvia Snackass

*I bought Give Up based purely on a review in a magazine. I thought: "that sounds amazing", and it was!*
- Paul

*HEY SORRY*
- Salvia Snackass

*A one in a lifetime album*
- jEAN

*I appreciate your love for The Postal Service*
- Salvia Snackass

*Just bought it on vinyl two days ago! One of my favorites!*
- Kaia

*My bad dude*
- Salvia Snackass

*This guy as solo musician sucks bollocks.*
- Bryan

*Sorry that you're such a bitch*
- Salvia Snackass

*You're backing Biden? LOL! No wonder the Postal Service sucks and forgets things. LOL!*
- Denise

*HEY WRONG POSTAL SERVICE IDIOT*
- Salvia Snackass

## Context

1. ↑ Erik is talking about the band "The Postal Service", though most of what he says in this lesson has a double meaning with the United States Postal Service that delivers mail. This lesson was made when the Trump administration made highly controversial decisions regarding how the Postal Service was run.
2. ↑ Jim Jordan is a United States Congressman and one of Donald Trump's strongest supporters that believes in privatizing the postal service and doing nothing when children get molested.
3. ↑ Wayfair is an online furniture company. Conspiracy theorists believe it is part of a child sex trafficking ring.

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