By Goat or By Boat

"**By Goat or By Boat**" (3x56) thumbnail featuring Travis Willingham and Aabria Iyengar

### Episode

Campaign Three,​ Episode 56
(C3E56)

### Transcript

Transcript

"**By Goat or By Boat**" (3x56) is the fifty-sixth episode of the third campaign of *Critical Role*. Bells Hells' Team Wildemount travel through the cursed Savalirwood as they attempt to locate the ruins of the corrupted city Molaesmyr...

## **Synopsis**

### **Announcements**

* First sponsor tonight is **Nord VPN**, but we are not returning to The Nordverse. Instead, the approximately French-accented magician Nordo the Magnificent and a green-suited Producer Kyle attempt to demonstrate digital magic... but the Post-Production Department gets sassy.
* Second sponsor is **D&D Beyond**, with *Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves* character portrait frames with a 30-day subscription.
* **Merch Alert!** Midst logo t-shirt and enamel pin, plus Beaurebar tiki mug and Xhorhasian metal dice set now available.
* ***Exquisite Exandria: The Official Cookbook of Critical Role*** by Liz Marsham arrives 29 August 2023, and includes the recipe for Lord Eshteross's Maple Ginger Cookies, available at the table for sampling.
* The **Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn** is now available in French on Drive Thru RPG and Roll20.
* **Darrington Press** will be at Gen Con in Indianapolis this year.
* **The Chronicles of Exandria Volume One: The Tale of Vox Machina** is being reprinted for the first time and will be available in May 2023.

### **Previously on *Critical Role***

*So, last we left off: Half of Bells Hells and some new companions have traversed the interior of Uthodurn, righted some challenges that arose in the reverberations caused by the Apogee Solstice and the events that occurred under Ludinus Da'leth in Marquet. In doing so, you gained the favor of the Diarchy of Uthodurn. You dealt with some of Chetney's past within the toy store that he once worked within, and upon trying to learn a bit about your histories as Aeormatons, in doing so found a common friendship and bond of emotion or beyond.*

*After speaking with the king and queen of Uthodurn and asking about Ludinus, you discovered that indeed Ludinus existed within the city of Molaesmyr, where most of the elves who lived within this city and joined the dwarves here in Uthodurn fled from it in its destruction, as well as learning that, within the ruins there, perhaps there may be remnants of his past within the city, as he had the Gildhollow Tower that he resided within before its destruction and fall. Since you have no means of escaping the continent at the moment, as nobody with the capabilities of teleportation has returned since the Solstice began, you've gathered yourselves some flot goats and you've begun your trek towards the Savalirwood, in hopes of uncovering some information.*

### **Part I**

The party sets off southwestward through the Flotket Alps. Ruidus remains out of sight, but the ley lines are still visible long after the three days that the Apogee Solstice should have lasted. The first two days are uneventful, but on the third day a blizzard causes Chetney and Imogen to become exhausted. FRIDA gives Imogen their coat, and FCG then gives FRIDA his coat.

On the fourth day, they encounter two frost giants, but after a brief fight are able to flee and reach the Ivory Lake. The Boreal Omen River flows outward toward Molaesmyr to the southwest, and FCG proposes making a goat boat by lashing the flot goats together as a raft. Fearne uses *Speak with Animals* to discover that her goat Donnie Boy is okay with this as long as they don't get wet, so they alter the plan slightly to building a small raft from logs. FRIDA asks Deanna to put her *Death Ward* on FCG and Deanna does so after interrogating FCG as to his intentions toward FRIDA. FCG then asks Deanna her intentions toward Chetney and she replies that she thinks there's something between him and Fearne.

The raft completed toward nightfall, they camp for the night. FCG casts *Commune*, seeking the Changebringer, asking if she is real. The light around him shifts and he sees a figure at a distance, her hair blowing around him, present but distant. She has been watching him. He thanks her, and asks if she needs help. After a pause, the answer indicates that she does, but moreover, so do the other gods. FCG shares his vision with Deanna, who assures him the Changebringer sounds like a great god. Fearne encourages Imogen to try to reach Laudna through her dreams, but since she's exhausted they decide tonight isn't a good night for it.

In the morning, they try to load the goats onto the raft but discover it is much too small for them. Deanna immediately kills her goat, Jerry, harvests its wool, and Chetney carves up the meat. Imogen is horrified. Trying to come up with alternatives, Fearne speaks with Donnie Boy again, who is terrified by Jerry's slaughter and doesn't want to explode himself. Fearne urges the surviving goats to stay where they are and wait for them and the party sets out on the raft down the river and into the shadowed depths of the cursed Savalirwood.

Chetney shares that he's been in the Savalirwood before. It was where he was bitten and transformed into a werewolf. FRIDA realizes that Chetney bit them the first night they met and is worried that they may now become a werewolf as well. Imogen assures them that if they do, they can help cure them, and also asks if Deanna's just up and killed an animal before this. FRIDA says she hasn't, and frankly, it alarmed them. FRIDA then wanders back to FCG, who tells them it will be all right.

They continue floating down the river till nightfall, surrounded by the sounds of the increasingly living forest around them, and see tiny blue lights moving among the trees. Eventually they hear a heavy slapping sound and deep croaking, and see small white motes of fey energy that are revealed to be pixies swarming around a larger host entity lumbering through the wood. Deanna casts *Control Water*, trying to hurry them through this area, but their lights draw the creature's attention, and it suddenly leaps into the water ahead of them.

### **Break**

* *Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves*-themed stat blocks, digital dice, and magic items now on **D&D Beyond**.
* **Merch Alert!** Beaurebar tiki mug, Midst logo t-shirt and pin, and Pop Pop t-shirt in the US shop only; Xhorhas dice set, Ashton Greymoore leggings, Calamity woven blanket, and Yasha Nydoorin slash-sleeve sweatshirt in all five shops.
* Trailer for the new **Midst** Podcast.
* **Darrington Press 2023 Announcements**.
* **WizKids** Critical Role unpainted miniatures Wave 4 available now.
* **Welcome to Tal'Dorei** and **Welcome to Wildemount** Critical Role soundtrack albums available now on all digital music platforms.
* **Critical Recap** every Wednesday on CritRole.com.
* **Submit fan art and cosplay** for possible inclusion in the weekly online gallery.
* Travis and Laura star in a romcom about **Critical Role Twitch** subscriptions.

### **Part II**

The creature attacks with tentacles and tongue, hitting hard, biting, grappling, and being able to pull a target toward and into its mouth, but the party is able to do significant damage hitting back. However, the swarming pixies also attack the group, *Polymorphing* Imogen into a fox. Almost immediately, an attack by Deanna breaks the pixie's concentration and Imogen is restored. FRIDA chooses to be hit by the creature's tongue and pulled toward its mouth, where they are shortly joined by FCG through his grapple cannon. The rest of the party continues to attack the bog wretch, damaging it seriously, but it swallows FRIDA until they fire their blunderbuss from inside it and wound it enough to be vomited out into the river. Finally, Chetney casts *Shatter*, hitting both the bog wretch and the tree above it, and the combined damage finishes it off. The party climbs back aboard the raft and the pixies are chased off with a *Tidal Wave*.

It is now growing late and in the darkness they debate the wisdom of continuing traveling. Fearne uses *Speak with Animals* and asks an eyeless fish swimming by about upcoming waterfalls or other dangers and learns that there are no waterfalls but lots of dangerous animals and that they should avoid the Wolf-King. With the Aeormatons taking turns to keep watch, the rest of the party sleeps. Midway through FRIDA's watch, Deanna wakes and asks them if they want to be a werewolf, because they seem oddly excited at the prospect. FRIDA doesn't *not* want to be, because it looks like fun, but Deanna points out Chetney was also scared he'd hurt FRIDA. Unexpectedly, FRIDA asks Deanna to pray with them, and offers a prayer to the Dawnfather thanking him for bringing these people and specifically Fresh Cut Grass to them. FRIDA tells Deanna it wasn't important before, but they now want to protect the group.

Morning comes and the party wakes, and the day is uneventful as they float on. The next day, half a day from the river fork near Molaesmyr, they begin to notice small cracks in the ground emitting dark energy and terrible smells: a miasma that is believed to be an extension of the original corruption. Suddenly, a geyser opens up and sprays them with the miasma, affecting Fearne and Deanna, exhausting them and lowering their maximum HPs. Eventually, FRIDA notices a tower in the distance that appears man-made.

They pull over to the riverbank and drag the raft ashore, heading toward the tower and eventually seeing other towers, leaning at odd angles. The ground has heaved into hillocks and cracks from which drift more of the dangerous miasma, and as they reach the outskirts of the city they notice odd webs or nests in some of the trees. They can hear a sound of wood on wood coming from somewhere deeper within the ruins. Taking stock, they decide to have Imogen cast *Summon Crimson Shade* and send the creature into the ruins to explore.

As the crimson shade moves northward, they hear clacking sounds approaching. A massive featureless multi-legged elk-like being charges from an alley, slamming into the shade and destroying it. It looks about, then pulls its way deeper into the ruins with human-like arms and hands. Suspecting the creature was drawn by sound, FCG casts *Telepathic Bond* so that the party can communicate silently. They continue stealthily moving into the city, occasionally seeing ghosts from the corners of their eyes, egg sacs hanging from the buildings, a thick growth of brambles and vegetation, and the bones and bodies of the former inhabitants who failed to escape the creeping corruption.

## **Featured characters**

### **Bells Hells**

* ~~Ashton Greymoore~~ *(absent)*
* Chetney Pock O'Pea
* Fearne Calloway
	+ Little Mister
* Fresh Cut Grass
* Imogen Temult
* ~~Laudna~~ *(absent, mentioned)*
* ~~Orym~~ *(absent, mentioned)*

### **Returning**

* Deanna Leimert
* Donnie Boy, Fearne's goat
* F.R.I.D.A.

### **Mentioned**

* Morrigan
* The Dawnfather
* Umudara
* The Wolf-King

## **Quotations**

* **Imogen**: *(after becoming exhausted from the cold)* Fearne! Sit on me!
* **FCG**: *(asking Deanna her intentions regarding Chetney)* Are you here to enact romantic revenge on my friend Chetney? Are you going to love him and leave him? Are you going to bed him and dead him? Are you going to--
Aabria: One more.
FCG: Are you going to fuck him and chuck him?

## **Trivia**

* This episode saw the unveiling of new official portraits of the five party members who bought new clothing in Catlyn Delafin's shop last episode.
* The episode was recorded just before the cast traveled to Tampa, Florida in support of Marisha Ray's appearance in Creator Clash 2.
* Sam's gas can has multiple sequential messages:
	+ Happy 4/20!
	+ Yes, I'm talking to you.
	+ You specifically.
	+ No, you're not being paranoid. This is really directed at you specifically.
	+ Why? Are you doing something wrong?
	+ Something you should be ashamed of?
	+ I'm just wishing you a happy 4/20. Why are you being weird about it?
	+ Anywho, Happy 4/20!

## **References**

1. ↑ See "**By Goat or By Boat**" (3x56) from 1:47:45 through 1:48:10.
2. ↑ See "**By Goat or By Boat**" (3x56) from 1:50:25 through 1:50:40.
3. ↑ See "**By Goat or By Boat**" (3x56) from 2:40:20 through 2:40:45.
4. ↑ See "**By Goat or By Boat**" (3x56) from 2:40:45 through 2:41:05.
5. ↑ See "**By Goat or By Boat**" (3x56) from 2:45:05 through 2:45:15.
6. ↑ See "**By Goat or By Boat**" (3x56) from 2:45:15 through 2:45:40.
7. ↑ See "**By Goat or By Boat**" (3x56) from 3:11:10 through 3:11:30.
8. ↑ See "**By Goat or By Boat**" (3x56) from 4:10:00 through 4:10:15.

**Art:**

1. ↑ Fan art of cold Imogen, by Elaine Tipping (source). Used with permission.
2. ↑ Fan art of Jerry exploding, by Pyromeekorai (source). Used with permission.
3. ↑ Fan art of the attack on the raft, by Cha Cha Rae (source). Used with permission.
4. ↑ Fan art of Imogen as a fox, by ZioCorvid (source). Used with permission.
5. ↑ Fan art of the elk creature, by Odd (source). Used with permission.
6. ↑ Fan art of the elk creature, by Clara (source). Used with permission.