Pirate King

*"Oh yeah."*

*- Pirate King to Funniest Valentine, 9999 AMS*

**Pirate King** was the leader of the 9 Pieces of 8, a legendary Pirate Crew. Sailing the Seven Seas, he would sleep in one fateful year and miss Christmas, forcing him to relocate his crew. A scholar in the ways of the force, PK would join with the Resistance as it battled the Lynch King, though his cabin boy Camden would go missing, forcing him into a deep sleep. Later, Pirate King would work with Mr. Tow, mayor of Richmond, to combat a growing threat against the universe, leading the Vibe Gang's first iteration.

## Pre-War

Pirate King's exact origins are unknown, though it is believed he was born in Pirate Bay, Gruganda, during the 5th Age, likely during the post-zombie apocalypse rebuilding of the nation in 400-450 AMS. Whether his birth name is Pirate King, or if this is a title, is unknown. Some records seem to indicate that his family's surname is "King", and his true name is Vincent "Pirate" King. Pirate King had a younger brother, ChaosSpawn5, who lived in a frozen research station in the Mountains of Unpleasantness, on the border between Gruganda and Eastman, but it is unknown if Pirate King visited him often. ChaosSpawn5 was tragically murdered by Vegan after completing the 3rd Spooky House movie, at which point Pirate King took over as franchise creator as a hobby.

In 802 AMS, Pirate King joined Captain Olaf's Pirate Crew, the 9 Pieces of 8. As Olaf's first mate, Pirate King participated in many plunders and raids, earning the fear and respect of the seafaring world. After several battles against the dread Pirate Roberts left their original ship destroyed and Olaf dead, Pirate King became the leader of the crew. During a battle in Yongyea port, Pirate King rescued one of Robert's prisoners, a young boy named Camden, who was strapped to wheel in the brig. Grateful for the rescue, Camden used his powers of drawing to create a new ship for the group. He would continue to serve as the crew's artist and cabin boy for years, and would become close friends with Pirate King, who encouraged his artistic pursuits, becoming an older brother figure to the young boy as he had once been to ChaosSpawn5.

During his travels Pirate King became familiar with Lor Sans Tekka, the 5th Agers, and the concept of Stands, becoming well versed in the history and lore of his world. He was also a competitive Dark Souls speedrunner, and could speak fluent Jude'mumblecore, a dialect from the First Age. While not fighting in either Weeaboo War, PK was friends with Discount Scorpion, and heard many details of the conflict from him. Clearly brilliant and scholarly, Pirate King preferred high seas adventures to any of the political plots or conflict happening on the mainland. A new war, however, was brewing, and Pirate King knew that he might not be able to avoid it.

## Christmas and War

On the 53rd of Crompton or whatever I said it was in the video, Pirate King and his crew came ashore near Yongyea to celebrate Christmastime. However, a dastardly plot by one of his crewmate's, the Parrot, saw the crew become incapacitated and drunk, with Pirate King falling asleep, missing Christmas. When he awoke, the horrified Pirate King scrambled to make things right, tracking down and giving presents to several of his crew-mates. Along the way he also killed the traitorous Parrot, who had tried to steal the crew's loot but could not sail. Pirate King gave Camden a book of Bone comics, and spent the day philosophizing about the war to come with the Lynch King.

By 2990 AMS, the Racism War had escalated to the point where it could not longer be one without his help, so Pirate King joined the Resistance in their final battle in the South, present as the LKSS fell once and for all. Most of the 9 Pieces participated in this battle; Camden, however, had earlier been kidnapped by a group of Lynch Knights, and tortured for information regarding the Pirate King's allegiance. Refusing to sell out his friend, he had his throat ripped out, and was left for dead. Pirate King, sensed Camden's location in a dream, and came to rescue to the dying lad, but damaged had already been done, and Camden's vocal chords had been removed. Depressed, he would part ways with the Pirate King, and seek a new life for himself.

## Apocalypse

The events of the war hung over Pirate King for many years. Even when the Golden Age began, and Gruganda seemed to return to a place of power and peace, Pirate King refused to be as complacent as he originally was, making multiple pirate raids across the world in order to gather loot for what he saw as the next inevitable apocalypse. A lack of sea trade due to Gruganda becoming less reliant on New Eden led to piracy becoming less profitable, however, so much of Pirate King's crew left for other work. After a particularly disasterous raid in Shurima saw Prince Hamlet killed, Pirate King struck out on his own a solo Pirate.

By this time the world had started to end. At one point, Pirate King had his ship stolen by Baron Berserker, and when he stole it back and temporarily sold it to some guys to cover his tracks, Baron Berserker destroyed the ship and drowned. After that, Pirate King decided to spend time ashore as a Land Pirate. In 7802 AMS, he found the damaged patrol droid Cyberpunk, and rebuilt him as a friend and crewmate. Sometime later, Camden had broken up with his girlfriend Gale, and so rejoined Pirate King in his plunders of the now abandoned world. Once or twice Pirate King fought against a rival group known as the Dirty Pit Kill Team, who hated him for the role he played in the death of Baron Berserker, their former leader.

Sensing the dawn of the 6th Age, Pirate King made plans for a trip to the Grugandan Archives, near Ringed City where he hoped to find the complete records of Gruganda. While claiming he merely wanted to sell these records for more plunder, Pirate King also wanted a copy of them for himself, hoping to preserve history that had been lost in the fall. The Dirty Pit Kill Team, however, sent men to the archives as well, and both groups were subsequently attacked by mysterious alien invaders who seemed to have come from another world. Pirate King and Camden escaped into the Gurgandan hills, and at a former GRUF outpost, met the mysterious Khada Jhin. Jhin, conversing with PK in Jude'mumblecore, explained that both the Richmond Government and the Followers of the Apocalypse were preparing to save the dying world, and that Pirate King could help them. Pirate King accepted, and Camden was cured of his injury due to Jhin's amazing knowledge of nerve clusters. Cyberpunk, who had also barely survived the battle, met up with Pirate King and together with a stolen car, journeyed to recruit the final member of Mr. Tow's team of heroes: Gale Graceigan.