Q02E01 - New Owl Who Dis?

## New Owl, Who Dis?

This episode was streamed live on Facebook.

This episode is the first of four reading "Need You Now" by thewaterfalcon.

## Notable Moments

* Tom Felton needs to take a restraining order out on Allie now that he is single and straight and therefore meets all of her qualifications.
* Allie is trying to animagus her husband into Draco.
* Hosts tease that season 3 will be a slash story, then joke that they mean Slash. Harry/Slash
* Hosts plug their new merch: Ravenclaws like it kinky, Hufflepuffs like it tender, Gryffindors like it rough, Slytherins like it nasty designs.
* Lyndsay coins the "UnCommon Room" because nobody ever seems to be in them.
* Presence of two couches leads hosts to joke that Slughorn must have a evil twin brother, Plughorn.
* Pansy's owl has loooong, sexy legs.
* Watching the owl fly away is like watching the processing symbol as your phone is sending a text and you know you can't call it back.
* Lyndsay finds Allie's Ron voice very rude.
* Allie introduces her DrAllie headcanon.
* Lyndsay adds a "hooty hoooo" sound effect to the story
* "We've RUINED owls!" ~ Danny
* Burner Owls are needed for cheating so that your owl doesn't immediately get recognized.
* "Stop sending me unsolicited dick scrolls!" ~ Lyndsay
* New Owl, hoo dis?
* Ron knows about Hermione and someone and he knows about himself and someone and Hermione knows about Ron and someone and it sounds like Harry is in the dark.
* "Why isn't his lightning bolt burning?" ~ Danny, hosts joke that his scar should burn when his friends are lying to him.
* Pansy is wearing very sexy, very sparse Undapants!
* Marauder's Map is the wizarding equivalent of the Find Your Friends app and is very useful when trying to track down cheating boyfriends.
* "I can love him and correct him." ~ Lyndsay, making fun of Ron only checking two places for Hermione.
* Allie and Danny would look for Lyndsay at the gym and the donut shop. She's a cool girl; she loves to work out AND have fun.
* Gasping Lyndsay
* Dansy
* Pansy could be hiding a bottle of Firewhiskey in her Undapants or in a Black Cloth, she's a witch afterall.
* Pansy hurts the magical statues' feelings by calling them "fuck-ugly". Magical statues have feelings too.
* Danny breaks the 90's references mold (and throws Allie for a loop) by making a Mean Girls reference.
* Pansy wears Louboutins
* "Everything Fred Astaire did, Ginger Rogers did backwards and in heels." ~ Allie throws in a 30's reference
* Danny proposes the *drinkus shrinkus* spell to conceal your illicit alcohol.
* Danny wants to read Hogwarts Whisper
* Play a sample of Need You Now for the playlist that they will "never actually make"

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Excited for the sexcapades

Danny: Up

* Love the double cheating
* Loves the writing and the non linear plot

Lyndsay: Up

* Ready for confident, sexy, dominant Ron

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* FB Live participants: Sammy, Breeana, Tasha, Erin, Amber
* Danny's dad is so proud of him (and his wand is up!)
* Potterotic Breeann that coined "Pansy Barkinson" on Instagram (referencing Season 2 where she was repeatedly referred to as having a "Pug-like" face)
* Christie is "as moist as Hermione", and Stacey and Amy is up
* Erin is neutral