Cowboy 2 (OLD)

*Ancient robots plot the apocalypse in the chaotic Wild Wild Range, and all that stands between them and their vindictive world domination is an unstable group of lunatics.*

## Cowboy 2

### Landmarks

Temple of Ancients, Good News, Quarryhorse, Dieheer Valley, Floating Lake

### Real Date

Spring, Summer (2017)

Five ancient robot lords of the evil Neural Network have surfaced in the Wild Wild Range and seek revenge on the human race for destroying their creators and their civilization.

## Player Characters

*(In order of appearance)*

* Gunyar (deceased)
* Satsu (deceased)
* 3 (deceased)
* The Gun (deceased)
* Hubert Ticho
* Stephan (deceased)
* Infrayellow Attack Nexus (missing)
* Victor Werklic (missing)
* Stronk
* Blitz Cooley
* El Diablo (missing)
* The Good Doctor
* Prince Marsuvu
* Pibbi (deceased)
* Captain Insano
* XPLODO (deceased)

## Major NPCs

*(In order of appearance)*

* Earga
* 5 (deceased)
* Duke Dean
* 2 (deceased)
* Pat
* 4 (deceased)
* 1 (deceased)
* Master Chef (missing)

## Other NPCs

*(In order of appearance)*

* Sheriff of Quarryhorse (deceased)
* Deputy of Quarryhorse (deceased)
* Gold shipment guards
* Pathetic wizard treasure hunters (deceased)
* Townspeople of Good News (many deceased)
* Shawnee
* Wizard doctor of Quarryhorse (deceased)
* Traveling band of competent wizards
* New town guard of Good News
* Snake oil salesman
* The chefs of Quarryhorse (deceased)
* The lord of the gunpowder of Quarryhorse (deceased)
* Highway robbers

## Introduction

The campaign begins when two adventurers, Satsu and Gunyar, enter the Temple of the Ancients. To their left, there is a robot centaur and the end of a large tube. On the right wall, there is a large computer monitor depicting a wasteland where clouds and fog are moving through the air at extremely fast speeds, and on the ground is simply a revolver. There's a table in front of the monitor with strange robotic arms. There is a switch at the back of the first room of the temple.

When Gunyar flips the switch, the robotic arms on the table start to print and assemble the gun from the monitor. The centaur robot wakes up as smallish spidery repair drones rush into the room. As the party is fighting off the spider robots and avoiding their electric attacks, out of the large tube comes a man with a crossbow, completely covered in slime. This character's name is Hubert Ticho, and unbeknownst to the others, he was summoned from the unfinished legendary Emerald Spire tome by the Fiction Catalyst. During the battle, The Gun was built and came to life to everyone's horror as a talking, crawling revolver. After the battle, the centaur robot reveals himself to be 3, one of the five robot siblings they are hunting. However, he is angry with his siblings and wants to wipe them out.

This is where the campaign starts.

## Chapter 1: The Rise and Fall of 5

Ticho goes missing immediately after the battle in the temple. As the party is moving through the desert on foot to Earga's house, they are ambushed by the sheriff of Quarryhorse and his deputy, who are on the search for a wanted dwarf. They attempt to arrest Gunyar because he's a dwarf, but the party fights back. The Gun leaps into the hand of the deputy, shoots the sheriff, makes the deputy kill himself, and then charms the sheriff, who is then killed from several gunshots and then 3 running over his body. As the party sleeps afterwards, The Gun and 3 unsuccessfully attempt highway robbery, trying to steal from a large carriage stuffed with gold.

The party's destination was Good News, where they would battle 5. The Gun and 3 reach the town first, and the rest of the party is caught charging towards the town as its mind-controlled inhabitants try to stop them. 5's forces nearly kill them, largely due to the most competent one there, a 7-year-old boy.

The Gun burns down the tavern and the weapons storage buildings before striking a deal with 5 to kill the rest of the player party and then the rest of the town. While the rest of the party is having trouble with a 10-year-old who can shoot well, 3 charges into the town, sees nobody, and walks up to the side of the sheriff's office where the entire town is hiding. The first shot from the possessed townspeople misses and hits a barrel of gunpowder, exploding the sheriff's office, killing everyone in the building, including 5. The Gun claims responsibility for killing her.

The major and minor orbs drop from 5, which give buffs to anyone who uses them that are appropriate to her abilities. The major is taken by Satsu, granting a fan-attack with his throwing axes; the minor is taken by 3, giving him better range.

## Chapter 2: The Ultimate Weapon

After killing 5, The Gun, takes control of the town's token drunk idiot and almost kills him through malnourishment, before leaving him and attempting to murder women in what is left of the town. For this, he gets launched by 3's mortar arm into the sky.

After The Gun catches up to the rest of the party, they see a corpse beside the road and investigate it. The Gun uses its Detect Women ability and finds one in the nearby cave, leading them into a cave where they fight giant insect things, saving the life of Earga, the one who had originally given Satsu and Gunyar the mission to kill the five robots. The Gun unsuccessfully attempts in secret to kill her before she was released.

The party goes to Earga's house on top of the hill where the cave is. Ticho is already there. The Gun again fails to kill Earga, but isn't caught in the attempt. While the rest of the party is sleeping, The Gun travels on his own 30 minutes to what remains of Good News. It sneaks into the house of a mother and her very young daughter and tries to kill the mother after using Hold Person on her. However, The Gun is interrupted when the girl sits up in bed with a shotgun and shoots it, nearly killing it. The Gun burrows into the ground and escapes.

Meanwhile at Earga's house, the party members have figured out that The Gun is the Ultimate Weapon, created by the Neural Network in a simulation in which it caused the apocalypse alone. When The Gun returned to the house, it is unable to talk its way out and was shot and killed by Gunyar and Earga. The Gun's child, which was actually another intelligent item that controlled the largest revolver, is also killed. Little does the party know that there were two more guns inside the tiny remaining version, which they don't see.

The party embarks again, this time to the Temple of Ancients to recharge 3 so he doesn't basically die and nuke them all in the process. Before they leave, they meet Stephan, a man dressed in a purple and lime superhero suit with strange disks all over it, each having a string hanging off of it.

Soon down the road, they meet four travelers who fought for money. Stephan bests the leader by tearing off his own legs and beating him to death with them, somehow electrocuting him in the process. As the duel happens, the other three people, secretly controlled by The Gun, start dancing towards the rest of the party with baseball bats. Stephan throws one of his legs at one, and Gunyar and 3 kill the other two with their guns.

They strap Stephan to the back of the centaur robot's human portion, and as they traveled, 3 accidentally steps on Stephan's strings, cutting off several fingers, an arm, and his teeth. Meanwhile, The Gun is invisible, mysteriously compelling Satsu to murder Earga, and trying to force Earga to kill herself. It almost works when the party finds The Gun, killing its second-to-last revolver. The core of The Gun, the intelligent item that indirectly controlled all of the previous versions, is at this point a tiny object floating in the sky. It is then killed by Stephan, who throws his pinky finger at it.

Stephan dies in the Temple of the Ancients, where he, in an attempt to sacrifice himself while swarmed by spider bots, pulls a master string on his suit that chopped his body into tiny pieces, killing him uselessly.

## Chapter 3: 3

During their visit at the Temple of the Ancients, the characters pull a yellow lever that unleashes the Infrayellow Attack Nexus, an unfinished and experimental project from ancient times that's actually intelligent, intangible light. The party starts the journey to Quarryhorse, crossing two hills on the way. On these hills, they encounter an attack from a group of Shallian soldiers, whose catapult is destroyed and whose already worthless currency is wiped clean with a spell from I.A.N. One of them is killed by Gunyar, and the other is left in the sand unconscious and was eaten by the slimy lizard wearing a bear suit, which the party battles later.

The party then attempts to move on, but they encounter a huge sandstorm on the way and hide in a ditch next to a giant rock. Hubert Ticho is swallowed into the Elsewhere through a portal. Nobody cares because nobody really knew him.

The rock is then attacked by the entire Shallian army, which consists of five people and a horse. A construction worker and a man in a swimsuit, sunglasses, and sandals showed up on the horizon, and the party allies with them and proceeds to completely obliterate the poor Shallian soldiers with many large explosions and arcs of fire. The party learns the construction worker is named Victor Werklic and used to be employed by Duke Dean, and the beach dude is known as El Diablo and was raised by fire elementals. In the fray, Gunyar rigs his gun to explode and goes out with a bang, dying in the sand after all the smoke had cleared.

The rock they were beside turns out to be Stronk's Rock, the residence of the champion boxer. This is revealed to the party when they see him wrestling (and winning) against Blitz Cooley, the ultra-famous best bowler in the world, on top of the rock after the sandstorm. The party stays the night in the rock residence, which is quite luxurious. Earga calls the party on her cellphone, an ancient artifact from the Forever Desert. She tells them their former ally 3, who stayed the night at Earga's house, is going rampant and left to follow the party's tracks.

In response to this information, the party navigates back to the pair of sandy hills in between the houses of Earga and Stronk, as 3 traced the party's detoured tracks. 3 arrives at this site when he catches up, and the party does battle. 3 is killed with a bowling ball stuffed with dynamite.

At this point, the party is dramatically changed from its original state. Its members are now Blitz, Stronk, El Diablo, and Victor, and Satsu.

## Chapter 4: Civil War

As the party finally makes their way towards Quarryhorse, Blitz Cooley is attacked by a giant, slimy monster in a bear suit, which burns Blitz Cooley's clothes off except for his underwear. On the monster, they find the Cape of the Mountebank, which Blitz takes and wears.

Quarryhorse had been completely destroyed prior, except for a single large building. The party was greeted only because they recognized Blitz Cooley and initiated CIP (Celebrity In Peril) protocol. Their wizard doctor took Blitz into his medical room. The rest of the party was apprehended by Duke Dean and his men soon after on suspicion of stealing the Cape of the Mountebank.

Meanwhile, Blitz threatened the doctor, who attempted to feed Blitz an elixir that would allow the wizard to kill Blitz into fleshy soup with a word. Blitz took the glass, identified it, and forced it down the doctor's throat. He then made the doctor hand over all his drugs, including 7 doses of opium. The bowler made the doctor stuff himself inside his drug safe, closed it on him, and then spoke the command word before teleporting out of the room with the Cape of the Mountebank.

Duke Dean's men found Blitz and started beating him with batons before El Diablo set fire to the main hall of Quarryhorse, allowing the party to escape, stealing a cart. The recent days' heats has increased considerably suddenly, and the party quickly realizes they don't have water, and returns to the now-engulfed Quarryhorse building, this time on the side of the banquet hall.

The party quickly subdues and later kills the guard outside. Blitz Cooley throws a bowling ball at one of the three chefs in the hall, and he catches it, spins around, and uses the fabled Tornado Spin against the party, leaving a trail of fire in the bowling ball's wake it slams directly into Blitz, exploding and sending everyone and everything flying. Blitz is sent beside the rest of Quarryhorse. He catches fire and falls unconscious. The fire ignites some of his drugs, causing him to inhale them and become addicted to one dose of opium and two doses of pesh.

At this point, Victor had turned invisible, run into the building past the three chefs in the middle, dropped a bomb next to them, stuffed some of their food into his jacket, and picked the lock on the door on the other side of the banquet hall. Before the bomb goes off, Master Chef jumps over a table of food, careful not to disrupt the dishes on top. His protege then dives after him, knocking off most of the food and then flipping the table over to use it as cover against the explosion. Master Chef attacks and kills his apprentice for this. The other chef charges at the party, but is killed when the gunpowder catches fire and Quarryhorse explodes. Fortunately, before the explosion, the rest of the party had gotten past the chefs and retrieved the water. The drugs Blitz was addicted to gave him enough strength to wake up from unconsciousness, kidnap Master Chef, and get into the party's cart before passing out.

As the party left Quarryhorse on their already delayed journey towards the Old Mine, the party realized they needed more water than they had gotten. The party turns around yet again to retrieve the water from the former town's manufactured well. Blitz Cooley dreams of visions of the God of Sport, who encourages him to interrogate Master Chef for the secrets to the Tornado Spin.

Blitz does this, and the chef reveals that he is a monk from a mountain community in the Eastern Islands completely dedicated to unlocking the secrets of the Tornado Spin. He tells Blitz that the secret is that "there is no pin". This sends Blitz into a hallucinogenic fit where he sees the God of Sport tell him through the body of the monk that in order to learn the Tornado Spin, he must re-learn bowling without sight. Blitz is then blinded until he can learn the fabled move.

While Blitz did this, Victor slept and Stronk and El Diablo fetched water out of the well. Satsu was left to guard the cart, alone except for the blind, extremely unaware, drugged-up Blitz Cooley. An incredibly sane band of traveling wizard businessmen came by on the adjacent road and asked Satsu wanted to buy anything from them, such as an elixir to cure addiction and disease. Satsu tried bargaining on the price and quickly lost his temper and pulled a gun on the wizard. The wizard waved his hand, and the gun disassembled itself. He then cast Dominant Person on Satsu and gave him the general objective to make the other people in the party hate him.

Satsu tries to kill most of the people in the party at some point, and is eventually tied up in the back of the cart. Stronk had taken and hidden Blitz Cooley's drug stash, and El Diablo found it, took out a does of opium, and got Satsu addicted to it as well, even though Dominate Person had just been let off. Satsu reacted badly and tried to get El Diablo addicted as well, but the addiction didn't work against him. The two had a battle in the back of the cart and Satsu almost died, but Stronk broke up the fight.

Blitz saw the God of Sport tell him to go after the opium, giving him the ability to see the opium's outline through obstructions, now that learned the Tornado Spin and was no longer blind. He bowled the person who the opium was nearest to, who ended up being Victor Werklic. With this bowl, he learned the Tornado Spin, sending a Tornado Spin into the front of the cart. This caused the cart to explode into an explosion of fire, obliterating it and sending everyone in it flying quite a distance. In the wreckage, Stronk and Blitz battled to get the drugs. Stronk ended up running away from the aftermath of the explosion and throwing all the drugs into a troll's mouth, overdosing him and killing him instantly. Meanwhile, Blitz was having a lot of trouble at the remnants of their cart because he also has pyrophobia, and everything is on fire.

Satsu and El Diablo promised that this conflict was over, although Satsu and more-so Blitz were still addicted to drugs. Master Chef mysteriously disappeared when the Tornado Spin was used on the cart, and nobody there finds out where he went.

## Chapter 5: The Floating Lake

The party was stranded in between the ruins of Quarryhorse and the Old Mine, and most of their water was lost in the Tornado Spin, as well as their transport. With this new chapter in the campaign, Stronk gained the ability to create small houses of different types. In a house he created, the party stayed for almost a night before it started to downpour violently, as if giant buckets were being infinitely poured on the world outside. The party took their things through the chimney of the house and Stronk created a pontoon house, in order to stay afloat in the new lake that was being formed by the storm. El Diablo propelled the house towards the Old Mine with a new ability that acts as jet boosters on the bottom of his feet.

A giant fire monster that previously resided above ground grabbed onto the house from underwater, but it was immeidately knocked out by Stronk, and it drowned.

They could see they reached their destination when a sign floated by them that read "the Old Mine".

The party then noticed that Victor had disappeared. Suddenly, a skeletal figure dressed as a plague doctor revealed himself in the shadows in the corner of the house. The man revealed himself to be The Good Doctor, and when he took a small cauldron off his back, a smaller skeleton emerged, which is just two arms, a skull, a rib cage, and a spine that leads to a third hand at its tail. This skeleton was Prince Marsuvu of the Elsewhere, and that is where these two characters were from. They explained that both Victor and Hubert Ticho had been transported there when they came to this world.

After they finally got into the Old Mine, which wasn't entirely flooded, they entered the area of the cave that was residence to 4, a rampant cyborg gorilla. part of the party split down another corridor during the battle running into some goblins who were massacred very fast by 4. Stronk tried summoning several carts above 4's head to wound him. Eventually, Blitz Cooley threw another point-blank Tornado Spin at 4, exploding, setting most of the cave on fire and damaging the structural integrity of the mine. Blitz was sent straight into a wall, and 4 was sent across the area, through several walls, killing an evil necromancer who was previously unknown to the party. Stronk and El Diablo finished off 4 then, El Diablo almost dying in the process. In frustration at not dealing the final blow to 4, he punched a stalagmite and the cave began collapsing. The party escaped back to their pontoon house, table to retrieve some treasure, and the mine collapsed.

The party dubbed the new body of water the Floating Lake on their way back to the ruins of Quarryhorse. Also on the way, the Good Doctor was able to assist enough with the party's addiction to cure all addictions of all party members. However, Blitz's insanity was not fixed, and he still saw hallucinations of the God of Sport.

## Chapter 6: Saving Cooley

The party landed at the shore of the Quarryhorse ruins. The water of the Floating Lake spewed out some kind of fire gem. This has been El Diablo's hidden objective all along. The purpose of this gem is unknown to the party. El Diablo picks up the gem and flies off in a streak of fire through the sky.

As the party reaches the road, they meet with Pibbi, a manic mechanic with serious mental derangement. She uses a mech for transportation and combat. Their plan is to get to Pat's Fort at the entrance to Dieheer Valley, and to stop at Earga's house on the way there. Farther down the road, the party is ambushed by highway robbers with guns, the first people encountered in combat who have had guns since Good News.

Then Pibbi promptly kills herself. The Good Doctor throws several alchemical grenades at the enemies on the road, turning many of them into Prince Marsuvu's skeleton soldiers, who he named \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ and \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. Blitz throws a Tornado Spin, killing several of them and obliterating the party's fourth cart.

After the battle, Blitz, aggressively insane, tries to heal Pibbi. He fails and ends up killing her instead. He then breaks into a insane fit, as if Pibbi was his soulmate and true love. Under the complete influence of the God of Sport, Blitz then drags the body of Pibbi over an inclination in the ground, hidden from the party as he undresses and has sex with the little girl's corpse. Blitz then mutilates and decapitates her body, putting her head into his giant bag of bowling balls. He picks Pibbi up and throws her naked, bloody, damaged corpse down on the ground right in front of the party. It is at this point when Blitz finally realizes that he is insane.

The party stops at Earga's house, where each of them gets a special item from Earga's library of ancient magical items.