222: Lizard Pounding

## Summary

The group find Gwen's apartment has already been completely cleared out and Will decides they should make a visit to the *Tomorrow, Today!* office to recoup their losses by any means possible, i.e. they should steal it. Outside the office, Batthwack bumps into the halflings he had secretly hired the previous day and Will tries, unsuccessfully, to learn what they were hired for. Meanwhile, Gwen and Raphina discover that all traces of her candy store have also been removed, before having an emotional reunion with Aleister.

## Synopsis

Gwen shoulders the door of her apartment and manages to opens it. The apartment is completely empty, everything has been removed, even the pillows! Raphina says she shouldn't be sad because this is an opportunity for Gwen to come with them forever. Upset by the speed with which her home has been cleared out her, Gwen wants to let the whole town know what Crumplemeyer was up to. Will reminds them that he's got a bag full of incriminating papers, though he needs to go through it and find out what's there. There's one more door down the hall from Gwen's apartment and another two downstairs and Will's feeling like he'd prefer to talk in private. Gwen's very untrusting of everything now and not sure about going inside.

Will's also feeling unsure about the situation and suggests Crumplemeyer might have had more accomplices or partners within his organisation. Gwen agrees. It seemed too easy to kill him, if he was powerful enough to control the whole town. They discuss how best to spread the word about Crumplemeyer. Raphina suggests Will fly her around and she can announce it using her *Thaumaturgy* spell. Batthwack suggests going back to the prison, now that the mages are tied up with fighting the fire, it would be safer to go and see if anything's changed, or if someone else has taken charge. There are other suggestions such as transforming Will into Ricardo Ulysses to spread the news, or leaving the evidence somewhere for people to discover on they're own.

Thinking aloud about leaving town after they've revealed the evidence, Will suddenly remembers the lizard mounts they rode in on. Gwen says that chances are they'll have taken those too. Will has absolutely no interest in getting back on a lizard, but this is the final straw. He suggests going over to the *Tomorrow, Today!* office and stealing back some of what's rightfully theirs. Gwen thinks it could be safe to at least go by the office and check out the vibe. Will suggests they split up so as to avoid being one big obvious group. Raphina wants to see that removing Crumplemeyer has had some benefits and then she'd be ready to leave. Will just wants to leave and Selenia agrees. Batthwack's keen to know if their lizards have been impounded. Gwen feels strongly that the townsfolk have a right to know how they've been manipulated and wonders about leaving the evidence with Aleister. They decide to go by the *Tomorrow, Today!* office on the way to the candy store.

Will disguises himself as one of the puzzle guys he flirted with and they take the short walk down the road to the square outside the *Tomorrow, Today!* office. As they approach, Gwen says she doesn't feel comfortable going in and instead says she'll go to the candy store on her own. Raphina offers to go with her. Hilula pipes up and asks if she should go with Raphina. Will immediately says no and suggests him and Batthwack go with Raphina instead. Raphina doesn't want that. She and Gwen go to leave. Will goes over to Mo and takes him aside so that Hilula can't hear. He gives Mo 10 gold and asks him to make sure nobody hurts Raphina. Mo agrees, but he's not sure what the money is for. He catches up to Raphina and Gwen.

Something across the square catches Batthwacks's eye. He recognises a trio of halflings walking out of a tavern. It's Yolo, Gil and Neera! They notice Batthwack and shout *"Oh hello, hello!"* and walk over. *"Where were you last night?"* asks Yolo. Will says *"Batthwack, I had the same question!"* Will says he's good friends with Batthwack. Batthwack interrupts and apologises for being detained. Yolo says they were just heading out of town, but if the deal's still on they only needed to settle up. Will asks what the deal is, but Batthwack says that's between him and the halflings. Will secretly casts *Detect Thoughts* on Yolo while Batthwack roots through is bag looking for an item of value. Will reads Yolo's surface thoughts and discerns that he's wondering if Batthwack has the money to fund what he asked them to do in Bufflin. He attempts to probe deeper, but Yolo resists the spell, saying *"Uh, Batthwack your friend here is trying to dig into my mind!"* Batthwack turns angrily to Will and asks him what he's doing. He says he's going to go and speak with the halflings in private and catch up with Will later. Will says *"Okay, good luck with that!"* and Batthwack leads the halflings away to a quiet spot. Hilula asks Will what's going on. Will dismisses her and says she should go get herself a drink or something. Then he casts *Invisibility* on himself and starts to follow Batthwack at a distance.

Meanwhile, en route to the candy store, Raphina explains to Gwen that she didn't want Batthwack to go with them because she thinks he and Will need some quality time together. Mo asks Gwen if she's a princess and she explains that she used to be, but isn't any more. She asks him to remind Will, if he ever brings it up again, because she doesn't want to lose her temper. Mo tells Gwen that he thinks it's pretty cool when she does.

They arrive at Celestial Confections and discover that the windows have been repaired, the sign taken down and the store is empty. There's no sign saying it's for lease, but Raphina wonders about starting a business selling mouth harps. Gwen says it would have to be in another town. This place has left a sour taste in her mouth. Gwen suggests they look for Aleister at his apartment near the docks.

Back at the square, Batthwack has stepped around the corner with Yolo and the halflings. Will is out of earshot for the time-being. Looking over his shoulder, Batthwack says that they need to speak quickly. He tells Yolo that he doesn't have the full sum he promised, but can give them 30 gold pieces and a holy relic of pure silver which, he says, should fetch a good price. He insists that he doesn't want them to put themselves in any danger, and says *"I'm just looking for some information. You could send it to me by letter..."* At that moment the invisible Will creeps around the corner, seeing Batthwack holding the statue. He listens in as Batthwack continues, *"...You can address it to "Batthwack" and send it down river."*

As Yolo beings to speak, Batthwack looks over his shoulder, and because he's wearing his *Robe of Eyes*, he can see Will approaching. He holds up his hand to gesture that Yolo should be quiet, and then casts *Dispel Magic* on Will, causing him to suddenly reappear. The halfings and several passers-by jump at the sudden appearance of Will, who sighs and walks away towards the *Tomorrow, Today!* office. Slightly fazed by this, Yolo continues, saying the arrangement is acceptable, but they won't be able to afford the faster travel they'd discussed. Gil agrees that all seems in order. They say their goodbyes and the halflings depart. Batthwack goes back to the square. Will has gone and Hilula and Selenia are nowhere in sight.

As Will approaches the office, he can see it's a little quieter inside than the last time they were here. Maggie is behind the desk again. People are going about their business, but there's an odd feeling in the air.

Raphina, Gwen and Mo make there way through the streets until they arrive at Aleister's apartment, located near the customs house. Gwen knocks on the door, and Aleister eventually answers, first peeking out through the crack in the door, then suddenly flinging it open, a very surprised look on his face. He rushes forward and hugs Gwen. Gwen asks what happened to him and he explains that *Tomorrow, Today!* let him go while they were being marched through the streets. Gwen tells him that her apartment and store are both gone. He invites them inside. Gwen tells him what happened at the factory, that she killed Crumplemeyer after discovering that he was *"a very terrible person"*. She explains how all the things he'd been manipulating disappeared after he died. Aleister says he had noticed the smell had gone. Gwen says she wants everyone in town to know what he'd been doing.

Aleister asks if she'll reopen her store. She says she doesn't feel like that would be the right thing, but encourages him to carry on in her place. He seems surprised by the suggestion, as if the thought had not occurred to him before then. After a little thought, he begins to sounds more confident and says yes, he might well do that. He asks if she needs a place to stay, and Gwen says she'll let him know once she's reunited with the rest of the party. He hugs her again.

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Gwen/Denise. After Gwen suggests that the group's lizard mounts might have been seized by *Tomorrow, Today!*, Will's just keen to press on with his plan to steal some payback. He says *"Let's just assume they're not there and get paid for our lizards."* Batthwack says *"Maybe they're in the lizard impounding room."* Will can't miss an opportunity to needle Batthwack and says *"Ooh they're pounding lizards somewhere. Batthwack, it sounds like something you would do."* Gwen adds *"At the Roladexaroonie. There's a lot of lizard pounding."*

## References

1. ↑ See episode 201: The One With The Spyglass In Their Pants
2. ↑ See episode 203: Wa-Marko
3. ↑ This is the *Icon of Ravenloft*, which Batthwack picked up in Castle Ravenloft - see episode 145: Shrouds and Cloaks and Draping Drupes
4. ↑ See episode 202: I Bet You Think This Pneumatic Tube Is About You