Episode 59: Dawn Saves the Planet

The episode for "Episode 59: Dawn Saves the Planet" was originally released on April 10, 2017. **You can listen to it here.** This episode is 59:59 long.This week's ghostwriter: Jahnna N. Malcolm.

*Previous:* Episode 58: Keep Out, Claudia! | *Next:* Episode 60: Stacey's Choice | *Or,* see all episodes.

## Official Episode Description

Your two heavily jet-lagged boys are back in the USA and they're ready to talk about our precious Dawn, Claudia's latest outfit, and saving the planet! Somehow that goes off the rails pretty fast and what we've ended up with here is a surprisingly deep dive into the life and work of the music producer Steve Albini? Sorry about that! Stick around for an appearance by Stoneybrook News's Pulitzer-prize winning correspondent Chuck Whittaker, some profound analysis of the complicated "earring-hierarchy" in the BSC, and, yes, just a little taste of Bread Theory.

## Music Credits

* “Time Police,” by ErikMMusic
* “Breaking Point,” by PlatinumEDM
* “Overture,” by Lionheart
* Original Intro by Scott Lamb
* Debut of the Heavy Metal Outro by Baby Bee Wolfkiller

## Book Description

Tanner worries that his joke is too close to Jack’s joke. Tanner reads the description as if it were the summary of a Captain Planet episode.

## Segments

###  Burn Of The Week

Tanner: “So tell them to get an umbrella.”

Jack: Jessi jokes that we should all chip in for an oxygen tank for Dawn

###  Claudia's Closet

Claudia is making dough earrings, combined CC/Bread Theory. The boys are confused about whether this is a real thing

## Theories

###  Bread Theory

Claudia is making dough earrings, and is now a vessel for bread theory.

###  Doll Theory

Dawn thinks “save the dolphins” sounds like “save the doll’s fins”.

## Jack's References

* Jack used the nominative instead of the accusative in a FB post and was called out by Jaime and his mom.
* Jack corrects Tanner often for using the indicative instead of the subjunctive
* ”Do you want to talk about “eschatology”?”
* Seven seals, and Dawn’s seven pestilences - the numbers 4 and 7

“Probably, you’re insufferable.”
“Not only am I insufferable, but I’m repeating myself. We’ve come to the end of my knowledge.”
“We’re not even that far in, man.”

## Tanner's References

* Tanner was reading a recap of Edward Abbey’s “the Monkey Wrench Gang”.
* ”my wife”
* Mother Nature Network
* Number of times Seal has charted on the Billboard top 100
	+ Kiss From a Rose, Crazy, Fly Like an Eagle, Prayer for the Dying, Don’t Cry, Love’s Divine, Waiting for You
* Jack Sings Crazy and Tanner Sings Fly Like an Eagle; Tanner later sings “Stuck in the Middle with You” by Steve Miller Band
* Tay Zonday “Chocolate Rain”
* J.K. Simmons, aka Jonah Jameson from the original Spiderman trilogy.

“Here’s my version. If you said that to me, “can you name the hit movie where a boy takes drum lessons from a mean, fast-talking man”, I would immediately say, though I’ve looked this up dozens of times, Spotlight. And it’s not, I know it’s fucking not.”
“And it’s not. It’s not Drumline, and it’s not Spotlight.”
“It’s not Drumline and it’s not Spotlight, and that’s all we know.”
“Inferno? I can’t even remember, is it called inferno? We don’t do it to be cute, Baby Nation, I just really can’t remember the name of that movie.”

## Notes

Smarter Dumber

* Roleplay: Jack at the Stoneybrook Gazette calls up Chuck Winchester, cub reporter and now multiple-Pulitzer-winning photojournalist. Jack is Crispin Die Fledermaus (like the opera, meaning “The Bat”). There is an extended discussion on possible stories Chuck could cover, but he is assigned to cover the SMS beat.
* Steve Albini, who produced for Shellac and produced Nirvana’s End Times, as well as a Stabbing Westward album, Urge Overkill, Guided by Voices, “that Bush album”; he did not produce any Seal songs
* Fleshing out of the earring hierarchy, last discussed in Episode 52: Dawn’s Big Date. The more holes you have, the more powerful you are.
	+ Mallory and Jessi each have two holes
	+ Dawn has five holes
	+ Claudia is two + two.
	+ Mary Anne and Kristy have no holes
* ”Topical references”: Y2K, hitclips, micro machines with that fast talking guy
* ”A baby bee put you on blast and wrote to me, agreeing that Alan Gray is chaotic neutral.”
* Jack and Tanner did a RadioPublic playlist called Smarter Dumber, and were featured on a Bello Collective “Best of 2016” playlist
* The stinger is about how both Jaime and Sarah are Jacks, and neither are Tanners.

## References & Links

1. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain\_Planet\_and\_the\_Planeteers
2. ↑ It is - bread dough ornaments and earrings were very 90s. More modern bread dough earrings are all over Etsy, like this one.
3. ↑ Eschatology is a part of theology concerned with the final events of history, or the ultimate destiny of humanity. This concept is commonly referred to as the "end of the world" or "end times". via Wikipedia
4. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Monkey\_Wrench\_Gang
5. ↑ Chocolate Rain https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwTZ2xpQwpA
6. ↑ Jonah Jameson in the Sam Raimi Spiderman trilogy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Man\_in\_film#Sam\_Raimi\_trilogy
7. ↑ Drumline, a 2002 film about a marching band: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drumline\_(film)
8. ↑ Spotlight, a 2015 film about the newspaper business: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight\_(film)
9. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Die\_Fledermaus
10. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shellac\_(band)
11. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year\_2000\_problem
12. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HitClips
13. ↑ micro machines commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPgGtzsQBYk
14. ↑ RadioPublic links: http://feeds.radiopublic.com/rp/baby-sitters-club-club-smarter-dumber and https://radiopublic.com/ten-standout-audio-stories-from-t-G1gnzK

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