Seth's Journal

Back to Ares.

These are entries in Seth's personal journal he keeps. His journal is a coping mechanism and also aids his memory. It's a worn out leather bound book with an abundance of pages that was made by his late father, it can usually be found hiding under his bed or in a drawer. He typically writes in it before he goes to bed every night, and it contains many songs and doodles, but below are written entries only related to Big Team episodes.

## Season 3 Intro

### **Smells Like Team Spirit, Episode 5**

March 29, 2018

It’s only been a few days since I joined the Big Team, and even though it’s been a couple months since I’ve been in Halcyon, it’s really something to get used to.

I’m used to weirdness-Milo was always able to do crazy things and it’s not like superpowers don’t exist outside Halcyon. There was a girl who could animate pumpkins back in my hometown (Halloween was always a little more fun cause of her) and another kid who could fly? Sort of, at least...But Halcyon? Halcyon is beyond a little weird, and I’m not saying that just because I teamed up with a 6’3” magical teenager from a medieval world who’s also sort of from the past to chase down some lady who stole our racoon today.

Ok, so, maybe I am.

Anyways, Jaime asked for my and Milo’s help, as well as Elle’s, in this alleged racoon-napping, and so off we went. In a lyft of course. They seemed nice enough.

Our racoon thief, Ellen, (who apparently dated Cyclone at some point?) decided today was a great day to do some shopping, and where else would we find someone to fight other than the SuperUltraMegaMan Mall (again). Milo was able to do that thing he does to find people and found her right off the bat. We decided to follow her for a bit, since no one brings a racoon to a mall (then again, this is Halcyon) and we needed to find out where she was keeping him. Jaime grabbed Elle a top tier disguise (sunglasses and a purple wig) and we stalked her for a while before she got smart (She probably always was).

Naturally I tried to play dumb as hell (which I feel like I was doing a pretty damn good job of, although I almost choked at lingerie) but well, she sort of has this ability of knowing shit about you if she touches you (which I didn’t know until later) so obviously that failed, and I got thrown? Usually not a problem since I became, you know, indestructible or whatever, but I slammed right into Milo, and Ellen started hauling ass.

Luckily Jaime and Elle were nearby and managed to stop her from getting away, but one of her allies were around-some girl with a whip? And split them up, with Elle fighting Ellen and Jamie fighting whip girl. Me and Milo got there a hot second later, and I figured some lady as strong as me could also take a hit-so of course I decked her.

She tried to get away by summoning a...self driving motorcycle? But Elle did some magic shit to stop it, and Milo tried to minimize damages to the mall. I wrecked it a few seconds later (We were not letting her get away) and Jaime finished up with whip girl and went after Ellen. They had a weird moment, then Elle knocked Ellen out.

So cue the mall police or whatever, and Elle tied Ellen up in their little holdings room so we could maybe get her to tell us where she was keeping Trevor (the racoon). Let’s just say things didn’t go so great. Plus that whole, she knows shit about you after she touches you thing? Some personal stuff about me got leaked, and while that was pretty fucked up (Listen, I was in foster care before I was four, I don’t remember shit about that. Also, I do NOT like Milo like that. Seriously), she also let something loose about Jaime...Apparently at some point they were working as a villain? And attacked Elle’s future daughter Gwen (Don’t ask, I don’t know either). Elle left, obviously upset, and a few minutes later of Ellen’s bullshit and Jamie looked like they were about to try something they’d regret to get her to talk. I stopped them, but, Jaime left as well. Which left me and Milo…

Long story short no matter how we went about it she wouldn’t talk. So, whatever, we ended up deciding to bring her back to the Big Team Base. I stepped away from the interrogation room (it wasn’t actually an interrogation room) to find and calm Jaime down-as expected being outed about the ethically questionable actions you took in the past you were trying to keep under wraps is not a good time. (Also, why me? I would definitely not consider myself great at dealing with people in need of comfort, like, come on). There wasn’t much I could tell them except how your actions to change define who you are in the present, not your actions from the past. But to be honest, I’m not sure I completely believe that myself. There are quite a few people I can’t forgive in this world, even if they were trying to change...Then again, just because you’re trying to change doesn’t mean you can’t be held responsible for your actions (hey, I totally got this mortality thing down). They also asked me how far I’d go to help someone, and I told them I’d do anything if it was for someone I cared about. I think that was true, but it’s a little scary to admit.

Ellen finally spilled the beans on Trevor’s location back at the base after a minute with Elle (why couldn’t we have done that before) and afterwards, Elle and Jaime sat down for a chat in the rec room. I may or may not have listened in...but they seemed to have reached a good understanding of each other by the end.

It’s a bit of a weird feeling getting to know people on the team. I’ve only met a few of them, but I’ve had a lot less difficulty getting along with them than I initially thought. I guess you could even say I kind of care. Or maybe that I care a little too much for someone who’s been here for less than a week. But don’t tell them I said that.

(Did I mention the Big Team has a band also? ‘Cause they do. I didn’t push it, especially since they seem to have all positions filled, and I haven’t exactly been able to play anything without fucking it up since the whole crap with HELIX, but as commonplace as super strength seems to be here in Halcyon, who’s to say they don’t have some super durable drums? Or guitars? I’m really hoping they have an opening soon.)

### **Smells Like Team Spirit, Episode 6, Revenge is Best Soft Served**

March 30, 2018

Address acquired from Ellen, guess it was finally time to go rescue our stupid racoon for real. Jaime caught a cold, and Elle and Milo were busy, so of course, the fate of Trevor the racoon rested on my sorry shoulders.

You know how I said the whole magic shit is weird? I gotta say, somehow it’s more palatable than technological shit. Maybe that’s just me. Joining me this time was Herald, Manaline, and Trinary. First impressions? Show offs, not to mention Manaline and Trinary are just absolute nerds. There’s nothing wrong with being a nerd, of course, unless you think it makes you better than someone else (lookin' at you Trinary, buddy). People from the future sure seem insufferable, so I sure am glad I’m from this time period, thanks.

Anyways, Herald proved me wrong pretty quick-I guess being dramatic isn’t necessarily a reliable insufferable indicator (And maybe deep down I am a *little* jealous of the transformation thing, even though I’m pretty sure I’d look dumb as hell in anything other than normal clothes). He apparently was present for the beginning of this mess, and so he had a pretty firm grasp of the situation. Quest in hand, we left for Ellen’s “Home for Disadvantaged Teens,” which objectively, seems like a pretty fucking awful name for a place like that. Our ride this time? *A futuristic ship*. It’s hard to describe, but let’s just say I would have preferred a lyft.

The place was pretty deserted when we got there, and after everyone de-transformed (augh) they spent a few minutes deciding on how to go about this. Naturally I, just walked up to the fucking door (but for once, I remembered the 100 doors I’ve ripped off the hinges in the past month, and waited for the others). Manaline decided to head to the roof for recon.

The lobby was empty, but there was plenty of chatter coming from upstairs. Being the futuristic...technological...being they are, Trinary straight up turned a lamp into some kind of people radar? And located Trevor without a hitch. What was a hitch, was when they decided to just walk straight up to the girls holding said racoon hostage and announce we were here for Trevor. For someone always talking about how dumb the past is, it left me with a sad impression of humanity’s future.

Luckily Herald seemed to be on the same page of how not great of an idea that was, but it was sort of already too late. He did his best to try and recover from Tinary’s lack of situational awareness, and after some insistence, he convinced the girl, Joy, that we were in fact, just disadvantaged teens looking for a place to stay, and she let us sit. Oddly enough she asked us if we were with Chimera-more on that in a sec.

For some reason Manaline decided to secure us a distraction, namely with ice cream. They discovered some of Mr. Kane’s goons, the Ice Guys (augh) at that parlor, armed and apparently planning to make their way to the orphanage. At that point it became somewhat obvious that we had the situation a little backwards, and if these girls weren’t crazy annoying villains like Ellen, we were going to have to protect them from whatever was coming their way.

Herald stepped up to the plate to explain the situation (cue more transformations), and after mentioning we were in fact from the Big Team, Joy lost her shit (in a good way? I guess). She agreed to give us Trevor back, and we told them to evacuate just in case. Seconds after they’d left, literally, a big, overgrown lizard smashed into the side of the building a few feet away from us.

Herald moved first, even though it’d been pretty out of nowhere. It seemed like he’d done this so many times before, and moved with a reassuring confidence (even though he seems like someone who’s always hard on himself). He created illusions of multiples of himself which gave me the cue that it was time to evict this lizard from the premise of our poor unfortunate orphanage-so naturally I tackled him out the same hole he came in.

At the same time, Manaline was leading the Ice Guys to us, apparently they had some bone to pick with the lizard, and you know what they say, the enemy of your enemy is a friend? Or something. Even though I landed on my feet (as usual), apparently lizards hit pretty hard, and the Ice Guys also started firing (So it’s probably more like, the enemy of your enemy is still, an enemy). Manaline tried to save my ass (pretty heroic of them, even if I’m more than capable of taking a couple bullets no problem these days) but ended up in the crossfire with me. As if things couldn’t get worse, my powers picked RIGHT THEN to run wild.

So, I haven’t really done this very often. I’m no hero-I’m just some stupid kid who got powers the hard way, and sure I had my share of schoolyard fist fights, but it’s safe to say I don’t have a good grasp on any of this ‘super power’ shit. I’m just playing hero until I do, but even if I’m faking it ‘til I make it, it hurts to be reminded just how little control I have over myself after all. My head started to pound and my arms started to pulse with pain. I froze up-that awful feeling I get when I make a wrong move, except, my body literally freezes. And not just that, but literally everything around me started freezing over, and I couldn’t do anything to stop that. Luckily the Ice Guys seemed to mistake somehow that I was on their side, and I managed to freeze over lizard boy too, though I also got Trinary (thank god their not a normal person).

Just when it seemed like I’d probably made things worse, Herald descended from the orphanage with a shower of moonlight (Or was it laser beams, I don’t remember) and said some corny stuff, but in the moment it was...well, sort of awesome? Like a real hero, he chased off the Ice Guys, knocked out our scaly villain (conveniently frozen), and well, sort of saved the day. Just like that.

And even though he’d done all that, he told me right after how impressed he was with *me*? And even shared some of his own fears and doubts with me. Even though the question was odd, he asked me if I had any connections like his to the eye he gets his abilities from...and I was so flustered I only managed to think of the team, and well...him? Which in retrospect made *no sense*, I’ve known him for less than a day. But right then and there I thought...I hadn’t quite met someone I felt so...uh, this is too embarrassing to write. But he accepted it anyways and uh...I think I want to get to know Herald a little better. He’s sweet and way too humble for a guy *that* cool, and...I don’t know, something just sort of clicked between us (at least, to me...). He feels like everything I’d want to be if I was really being serious about this hero stuff, and maybe even more...

Trevor was waiting for us in the same hole in the wall lizard man made in the orphanage, and we finally got to take him back to the base (stupid racoon, way more trouble than he’s worth, though everyone seems to like him, so). All the girls were fine too.

I’m usually so fucking bad at talking to people, but I asked Herald if we wanted to get some ice cream after we’d settled everything. And he said yeah? I uh, don’t really know what this feeling is, but I think if I ever have a choice in teammates, I’d want him on my side.

## Season 3

### **Big in Japan (S3E1)**

April 5, 2019

When Cyclone decides to last minute throw you on board an international “stealth mission” as “back up in case things go wrong,” it’s kind of hard to say no. I mean, it’s not like I’ve always wanted to visit anywhere other than the states between New York and Illinois, and uh, for free? Plus being new to the team makes me feel like I’m still on probation? Or something. Godzilla or not, I sure as hell wasn’t going to turn him down.

He didn’t explain too much about what we were actually doing (I kind of assumed he’d told everyone else already. Spoiler: He didn’t), and before I knew it me, Jaime, Trinary, and some other kid named Redshift were piled into the Big Team Sub (as in *submarine*) and set sail for Japan.

I’ve never been in a submarine before but I take it they don’t all quite look like ours (or turn into giant robots?). Ours has a library, a secret room (no idea), a circular room with glass for walls (with a pop up bar, apparently), *and* some kind of food replicator.

Me and Jaime spent most of the time on the way to Japan playing games which were unexpectedly provided. We had a betting pool of skittles for card games (Jaime has one hell of a poker face, and I thought mine was pretty good) provided by the replicator...before it was abused by the unlikely combination of Redshift and Trinary to become a fountain of things all parents would probably disapprove of, which was beer. Mostly. No comment (though, I guess Trinary isn’t a total stick in the mud? Who knew).

We also got our hands on The Beatles: Rock Band (someday we’ll beat Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band on expert) and various other games, and talked some about this and that. It was nice to get a chance to just hang out after the mall drama, and Jaime’s pretty cool, I feel like we’ve got a lot in common. Or maybe it’s one of those same-wavelength type deals. Either way, I didn’t mind their company at all.

I have no idea how fast the sub was actually moving, but we probably got to Japan from Lake Superior in world record time. Cyclone left a mystery suitcase for us on board with the instructions “open whenever” basically, and as our destination came into view, it seemed to be as good a time as ever for “whenever.” Inside was a literal shit ton of fan merch for the Yomiuri Giants, and tickets to a game. This is the part we figured out we had no idea of what exactly Cyclone wanted us to deal with, and that Cyclone *really* needs to work on his briefing skills. But anyways, baseball?

All of us begrudgingly put on the jerseys and ridiculous hats, and headed out after the sub parked in some underground secret hero hideout, owned by the League. We had some time to kill before the game, and the place we landed was apparently the Yokohama Waterfront, which was essentially some sort of boardwalk equipped with an enormous ferris wheel and other rides. The first thing we did was eat, and I gotta say, actual ramen is about 1000% better than the cup stuff.

Anyways, the game. We arrived at the stadium and were almost immediately assaulted by the sheer enthusiasm inside, and let’s just say culture shock is a real thing, especially when all of your friends can either go invisible or shapeshift and abandon you to looking like the only confused as shit foreigner in a sea of ecstatic, chanting people who’ve all united into a single entity made out of some overwhelming love of baseball (In a weird way it almost reminded me of a punk show, but if punk shows had breathing room and were extremely coordinated, and had 100% less sweat, rock, and moshing). Besides that, it seemed like your ordinary baseball game until Redshift called out a scuffle in the crowd, and at the same time, some person in a red mask assaulting some official looking guy by home plate-it seemed like we were caught between helping the panicking crowd and stopping a kidnapping (And let me say, I am really ***not*** a huge fan of the latter).

Redshift took off towards the masked person after pointing the crowd out, and I went after them after telling Jaime and Trinary to handle the crowd (I mean, what was I going to do? Get them to hold hands and sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame to chill?). Trinary didn’t get seem to get the memo and swooped in for the save with their weird future ship thing, capturing the target of the masked person’s assault first-though a bunch of other masked people came flooding out of the wood works. Luckily for us it seemed Umpyre-that one hero from the League, was actually here undercover as an umpire for the game? With the dignitary taken care of, I started hopping seats back towards Jaime with Red right after me.

We got there in time to see Jaime attack one of the masked people blocking an exit from the now slightly panicking crowd, but they didn’t look like they were doing too hot. Red jumped in for the save but...Honestly I’m not too sure what happened. It looked like the blade went harmlessly through them, but as soon as it did, this brain-shaking scream resonated from Red (at least, it seemed that way, but it also sounded like it was coming from everywhere. Kind of like an ice cream truck?). It might have been the most horrible sound possible, but on the plus side it scared the living crap out of the masked folk. On the downside, it scared the living crap out of *everyone*. The crowd was nearly thrown into a panicking stampede, but luckily Trinary shifted into a security guard and managed to at least shepherd everyone out the exits calmly (why didn’t you do that earlier?). Meanwhile I did the only other thing to do-I tackled the masked idiot who was trying to bolt after almost stabbing my friends.

Not sure why I keep ending up in the position to interrogate people. I’m not particularly threatening and I have no idea how to properly get information out of people without just, asking? And I’m guessing bad guys don’t just answer you ‘cause you asked (Ellen sure didn’t). I took off our assailant’s mask to find a kid who looked no older than, well, us. Naturally he didn’t answer my questions (in fact, the punk just smiled. Blame me for trying I guess) and instead the ground started rumbling. Red seemed pretty on edge after the whole screaming thing, and although they hid it pretty well, they looked like they really weren't all that ok. If I hadn’t been currently using a teenage villain as a chair, I might have tried to talk to them, but, well, there I was.

Red said a few things to the other two before they were somehow able to deduce somehow that the rumbling was coming from the direction of the waterfront, aka, where we left the sub. We left the stadium after getting in a couple words with Umpyre, who gladly told us some cult who was being ignored by the heroes out here and the League and whatever, and they were summoning an “ancient evil.” Whatever that meant. Would it have killed Cyclone to have written that on a sticky note somewhere?

Upon reaching the waterfront we were greeted by a giant...octopus? Or something? We hopped into the sub and this is the part where I tell you the Big Team Sub can turn into a giant robot. Ok, the “giant” part might be a little exaggerated, it’s about as big as a house, but still. Red, who apparently had done this song and dance before decided to be in charge of the button pressing. Specifically the button pressing of the shrink ray, which was moderately important to take down a giant octopus. Trinary turned their future ship thing into a mech sword, which was kind of awesome. I left Jaime in charge of piloting the thing…’cause out of everyone on the team I trust them the most. And well, I was way too embarrassed to admit I kind of wanted to.

That left me and Trinary on civilian safety duty. While I was off saving stupid people recording videos and otherwise immobile civilians from falling rubble, in the background the sub was facing off against the octopus-which was now the size of a skyscraper (I’m guessing Red pushed the wrong button). Jaime threw the sword right into the eye of the thing (look like it hurt) and they started wrestling. Little by little the octopus shrunk. I was going to contribute by chucking, I dunno, a car or something at it, but I got no such opportunity ‘cause the structure a lot of the beach apartments was on took a hit from a tentacle gone wide.

Trinary tried to save it, and I don’t know what happened, but it seemed to get worse. This is the part I find out I can hold up a building (good for me, ‘cause otherwise I’d be dead, I think), and also that old Japanese people can be lightly tossed without suffering much harm. An empty Japanese apartment complex weighs about the same to me as uh, I don’t know, picking up my mom? At least before. Which I mean, was still pretty hard since I wasn’t a big muscle head or anything (the opposite actually), but not the hardest thing in the world. And for once freezing things after I hold on to them for a while actually was a thing that helped? I somehow managed to get the pillars back in place before the whole beach-side residential area caved in, and in the distance, one giant sized octopus was shrunk down out of sight.

We reunited and celebrated appropriately with takoyaki, one “ancient evil” defeated (or at least, now a tiny ancient evil and not a 50ft one). Red looked pretty shaken though there wasn’t really anything I could do for them. We all piled back into the octopus gut-covered sub (although I packed for a weekend) and headed for home.

It’s a really weird feeling being able to help people the way heroes do, and I guess I kind of did that? It doesn’t feel real thinking back on it, though it was really real in the moment. But I guess I’m kind of happy? Which is weird. I know the whole point of joining the B Team was having a good excuse to get used to the shit that happened to me. I’ve spent so long resenting everything that happened, like why me? Why did I have to go through that shit? Why did I have to lose a life I was content with? And feeling more than anything, I guess, like they stripped me of my humanity in some way. Like they made me into some kind of monster.

And I think that’s how Milo felt too, back then, when he was scared shitless about the things he could do. That was such a long time ago. To me I just saw someone who had this awesome capacity to do something *great*. I couldn’t understand why he was so afraid of himself, probably because I was just a completely normal, stupid kid. I wonder if my oblivious admiration towards him helped in the same sort of way he suggested the B Team would help me. I’m still scared, honestly, I’m terrified of myself, and about a lot of things, but I guess I’m starting to see a silver lining. I guess like anything, it’s what you want to do with your life and not just about what you’re given...superpowers or not. And I think...I might want to be a hero.

Though, I could do with better briefings!

### **Fish Out of Water (S3E6)**

April 13, 2019

For a day that started out with taking a laser to the face, today was actually...a really good day? I feel like it’s been a while. What’s also been a while is having pretty big gaps in my memory? I might be writing these journals to improve said memory, but I find it’s kind of useless for things I’ve already forgotten before writing (obviously). So today’s recap is going to be shit.

So, yeah, I woke up to a weird, purple humanoid exoskeleton...thing floating outside my window. More specifically Carol’s window, since this is her house. It said something about the B Team and needing to “destroy us all” or something or other, and something about Montreal. Naturally I picked just up my phone mid-shock and for some fucking reason dialed Rescue’s number (Honestly makes sense now that I think about it, I mean his hero name is literally Rescue), mostly cause he’s the first on my contacts list, though that’s really only from band stuff. Even more surprising is the fact he answered (or maybe not, after all Rescue’s pretty...dependable? I guess). I didn’t get very far with my explanation before I took the laser to the face. I spent the rest of the morning trying to gently get out of the house (you know, the house Carol lets me and Milo stay at for free, out of the sheer goodness of her heart) without it blowing up, and somehow managed that.

After that things get a little blurry. The exoskeleton thing stuck me in something weird, (and you know how that goes). Rekken saved me apparently (I remember a noodle-y arm at least) and Rescue and Rhiannon showed up. I vividly remember getting in a combo move with Rescue-which led to me more or less drop kicking the thing that tried to kill me, and I saved Rhiannon from also getting stuck in a weird thing, which I did fueled on rage alone, I’m pretty sure, which is why that image is clear (and also the fact that she uh, thanked me for it later).

I helped Carol with groceries I think (I’m also half sure she was just unpacking her groceries in the background of the fight), and Rescue talked to his mentor (can’t remember his name, but I’m pretty sure it ends in X). Carol said something about us being unprepared for hero life? And I mean she was absolutely right as far as I go-I’m a barely put together mess of lab-rat induced superpowers and trauma, and some days (like today) half my memory’s gone. But we had a mission from “X” (Rex? Tex? No idea) to go check the base, so I’m pretty sure someone convinced her otherwise.

Crystal clear is Rhiannon thanking me for saving her back at Carol’s on our way to the base, and uh, well, she got super close and asked if I was ok. And how do I put this? Elle was kind enough to educate me on the apparent real existence of gods (and I mean, Herald has the Eye of Horus) and Rhiannon….kind of looks like what I’d imagine a goddess could look like? She’s...beautiful? And she seemed so nice and genuine I didn’t really know what to do. So I, uh, shied away from her I guess? (Which apparently people take to mean I hate them.) We cleared it all up later but, god do I suck at being a person (what’s new though?).

There were a literal shit ton of exoskeleton things by the base. Rhiannon magicked us invisible or something (I think she called a “glamour”?) Everything next is one gigantic blur. Some red fish guy (prince something) was fighting blue fish people (or was it the exoskeletons, I don’t know), out by the base. He called for help (I *swear* he did) and rescue teleported him over to us. He was super surprised and super pissed. I don’t remember what happened next exactly, but Rekken was a wiggly mass of flesh (augh) who managed to get outside the glamour. We were fighting more exoskeleton things, and for some reason the prince decided to fight with us. All of us slipped on an octopus (why is it always octopi???) which I remember a little too clearly. Oh yeah there were blue fish people too. Then Rhiannon made a bubble and shut them all out except us and mister prince.

Also Sledge showed up. She said something crazy like “you guys can totally take the 50 grape colored, laser shooting skeletons right?” to which I remember thinking I guess? If that’s what you wanted us to do? I don’t remember what happened next, but fish boy had a problem. Though at first he didn’t want to tell us and actually bailed, Rescue persuaded him somehow (I just remembered that).

I remember the next bit a little too well. Apparently the tree in the lake Rhiannon made to hold up Zodiac City was sapping energy from the long forgotten sunken city of Montreal which, is totally real and also populated by fish people. The fish people were naturally pissed that their home was being destroyed, and red dude, who’s name I just remembered is Narsus (more like narcissus) didn’t mince any words as he went on, specifically, to Rhiannon.

And she…...her heart visibly shattered. And she left in tears with that weight crushing her.

I’d only known Rhiannon for a couple of hours but it fucking hurt to see that. I actually had to count to ten to stop myself from punching the guy. If *Prince* Narsus had been anyone with a less righteous cause, I actually might have. But there wasn’t really anything that could be done just then. He was here because of something Rhiannon did that had already happened, and whether it was to save people or not, it had produced a consequence no one saw coming, and decking him wasn’t going to change that. What’s more was that this guy was apparently on our-on humanity’s side, willing to work with us to find a way to save his city without destroying ours, while his blue brother was more in favor of finding a way to cut down the tree and kill us instead (guess who’s plan was more popular).

I don’t remember how but we ended up back at Carol’s place with an added Cyclone for a better in-depth emergency meeting regarding Montreal and Narsus, and what was going to happen. Sledge brought Rhiannon who didn’t look much better than she had before. Somehow the fate of Halcyon City ended up riding on the outcome of Narsus’s experience at high school or something (*our* high school) which he was to start attending immediately, accompanied by members of the team.

‘Cause high school is totally a monument of reasons why humanity should be spared.

By any other reason today was a pretty fucking awful day. And maybe it’s kind of a stretch to say that it really ended up great. I’m *99% sure* I’ll still have flashbacks or nightmares (fun), and who knows if I’ll even remember anything that happened today after I go to sleep. But...today is worth it I think.

At some point after the brunt of meeting, Rhiannon quietly slipped out of the house. I don’t know why but I just couldn’t leave her like that, so I did the stupidest thing imaginable and I followed her. And if that wasn’t stupid enough, I actually tried to *comfort* her.

And I’m sure Rescue would have said something to her. And I mean, Rhiannon was extremely nice and smart and powerful to boot (Have you *seen* that tree?), I’m sure she has a ton of other friends on the team or a great family or-literally a list of people just waiting to comfort her and do it better than some stupid guy like me. But I did it anyways-and jesus christ was I a mess. At least I managed to keep it cool with Jaime-maybe because we were in public? And maybe because I wasn’t really putting myself out there. But god, Rhiannon was crying, and we were alone, and I couldn’t keep up my composure at all. I rambled, like some kind of corny ass preacher, and though I believed what I was saying I couldn’t shake the feeling I shouldn’t have bothered, that everything was coming out wrong, and that she’d hate me, (I mean she even said she already thought I hated HER for earlier). I stuttered at least every other word, and I was so embarrassed I was pretty sure my face was melting-and jesus, I mean I even brought up my mom. And why the hell was I pouring out my heart to this devastated girl anyways? That’s not even something I can do with Milo half the time.

But...she listened. She listened, and when I was done laying it on...she shared her fears. She didn’t hate me, she opened up. She told me she wanted to be a hero. But she was scared...and everything she did only seemed to push her away from that. And she was crying, and broken over how to fix this crazy thing, and I...I felt so close to her. Somehow I didn’t feel so stupid anymore. I found words I wanted to tell her. I found s   trength I thought would give her even a little hope. And it did, I think.
Though it was the cheesiest shit I’ve ever spouted in my entire life-I really meant it. And for once it...it was accepted I think. I mean she hugged me even-which, fuck, instantly reminded me of what kind of insanely vulnerable place I’d just put myself out on and embarrassed the living crap out of me (augh, I can’t even write this!), I’m pretty sure I rambled on after that out of sheer embarrassment (I’m pretty sure I tried to tell a joke even, *holy shit*) but she laughed and-and fuck I think I was starting to get *comfortable*.

It was nice. Better than nice? It felt like I was a hundred feet off the ground. I’m fucking smiling writing this-god, what the fuck. I have to stop, or I might just start fucking crying.

Our conversation was cut short by the meeting-I kind of wish we could of sat there all day. I wanted to ask her about her crows and how she does her magical stuff and what she’s done with the team and why she wants to be a hero and if she likes music and why the hell she’s so pretty (yeah, ok, no, I think I’d actually die) but it wasn’t really the time for that anyways. She looked afraid still, of everything ahead of her, but there was a lot of determination there too.

And I really want to do everything I can to help from here. ‘Cause that’s what heroes do, right? Pfft.

So if you forget this tomorrow (please fucking *don't*), Rhiannon? She’s cool. Maybe a little more than cool. Don’t avoid her just ‘cause you forgot, she probably wouldn’t mind if you helped her out. And maybe, maybe she’d even understand if you told her you really did forget everything. Thank Rekken for saving your stupid ass, she’s staying at the house for a little while anyways. And you owe Rescue for well, everything.

### **An End Scene from Fish Out of Water (S3E6)**

Seth didn’t know what the hell he was doing. Typically comforting people was by far his worst skill set, and he usually dreaded being put in a position where he had to, if only because it required *him* to open up, too.

Yet...he couldn’t really stop himself from following Rhiannon out of the far too crowded living room of Principal Crossover’s house as she slipped away when the conversation died down. Sure, they’d barely met and maybe hearing something from a stranger would just make it worse for her-but the image of her expression quietly shattering as Narsus told her of what she’d done was stuck still in his head as vivid as any of his nightly flashbacks, and like those, was laced with the feeling of frost. Rhiannon just looked so...*broken*.

Seth closed the back door as quietly as possible, though no one else was really around. Rhiannon sat at the edge of the yard, her back to the house. He stood on the porch step for a moment, wondering how many ways he could potentially ruin his nonexistent relationship with the girl with his next few actions, before his feet made up their mind and approached her, crinkling softly on the freshly mowed grass.

“Uh, hey,” he says, voice breaking audibly. Without asking he sat quietly next to her, glancing in her direction to gauge her response-though it was far too late to turn tail now.

Rhiannon flinches a bit, startled by the sudden voice. She hadn't heard him approach. Her face turns toward him reflexively, eyes wide with surprise- and filled with tears… The sorceress immediately tries to wipe them away.
“Oh um- hi. Seth. Are they done? Do they want me back inside now?”

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” He says instantly, “No, they’re not but...uh, I thought you could use some company, maybe.” Though he manages to keep his voice even, the tips of his ears are already red.

“Really? I mean- I didn't think…” She hesitates. “Earlier I thought I made you uncomfortable or something. You're sure you want to be seen keeping the ‘dastardly criminal and destroyer of cities’ company…?” The words are said with a joking tone but the humor doesn't reach her eyes. “I guess even you getting attacked this morning is my fault…”

“H-Huh? Oh no-” *I’m just not used to being comforted by really kind, really pretty girls,* Seth thinks, but instead places a reflexive hand on the back of his neck, though it quickly falls with Rhiannon’s words and his own expression. “I don’t think…” his voice trails off as he seems to search the ground, and then Rhiannon’s teary eyes for words, before he takes a breath and reclines a little, letting his eyes drift over roads and the neighbor’s yards. “I’m not going to say something phony…” His voice is soft, “Like ‘I understand what you’re going through’ or that I can imagine what it feels like-cause I don’t. But...uh, whenever I did something that, that did something I didn’t mean it to,” he pauses, “My mom used to tell me that being ‘sorry’ isn’t something you do sitting alone and regretting. I-It’s doing something to fix it.” He dares a glance at Rhiannon, wondering if he’d got that across the way he’d meant to or if he’d said something wrong, but quickly continues, “Even if you can’t, it’s a course of action you follow to make amends, to learn from it or get stronger, or something.” He says the last part as though he’s following a script, something he’s heard a thousand times, but he means it. “I-I guess what I’m trying to say is that...when I regret something, it makes me feel better to hear someone say that I can get up and do something about it. A-and I guess...I wanted to tell you that.”

Rhiannon listens closely as Seth speaks. It's more than she's heard him say the entire rest of the day put together… At a couple points she looks a bit pained, but keeps her composure (as much as is left anyway). When he's finished she wipes some more tears away, wishing they'd stop, but nods.
“I- that means a lot. Thank you… I'm just- do you really think I can fix this? What if- what if I can't? All I've ever wanted was to be a hero, but somehow it only ever seems to get further away…”
A chill breeze picks up around them for a moment, lifting some snowy strands of her hair and swirling them around before fading.

Seth’s heart sinks as he watches her cry, and for a moment he wishes words weren’t all he could give to her. His expression becomes a bit rougher, but if anything it’s more genuine, “Everyone makes mistakes, ‘specially ones they don’t mean to. I think maybe, being a hero just...means you do everything at every point you can to make things right. For yourself, or for others, or even a whole city,” he smiles, and reaches to wipe away a tear on the corner of her eye, “You helped a ton of people...And maybe you hurt some too, but it’s not over-and I think you, or we, or everyone-can still do something about it to make things right. And we will-’cause that’s what heroes do.”

Rhiannon is surprised both by his words and that he actually wiped one of her tears. After that last sentence, she smiles. This time it does reach all the way to her eyes. And despite her snowy appearance, it's filled with warmth.
“You're right. I do want to make things right. Whatever it takes. Hopefully with so many heroes around -and friends- we can make that happen. I can't hope that they'll forgive me, but… All that matters is making sure they're all safe from this point forward. I'm sorry you had to see me like this. Not a great first impression from one of the ‘senior members’, but… Thank you, Seth.” Rhiannon turns and reaches her arms around the boy next to her, pulling him into a hug. She quickly lets go and leans back, awkwardly swiping some hair behind her long pointed ears. “Oh right, you might not like hugs. Or touching. Or- I'm sorry.”

There’s a visible red tinge to Seth’s usual cold cheeks and any composure he might have recovered at any point in the conversation is clearly gone-but he manages a, “No i-it’s ok, I uh, don’t mind? I, uh, no, i-it’s fine,” he rubs the back of his neck before managing to swallow, “I’m glad I could help, I guess. I was afraid I’d come off as super pretentious, but you look like you’re feeling better at least, so for once I’m glad I spoke up. I guess,” he coughs, “Or something.”

“I'm glad you spoke up too. After you um, seemed- offended? And then finding out about… what I did. I really didn't think you'd want to be around me, much less maybe being a friend. You weren't pretentious at all and I truly am feeling at least a little better. This sort of thing doesn't go away quickly, but having that perspective and a goal… It really helps. I look forward to having you around on the Team.”

“Oh yeah, I guess uh, I’ve been told I can a little *cold*,” he says a bit uninspired, before there’s a little realization that it also applies to Rhiannon, sort of, “But I don’t particularly mean to be? Uh. A-Anyways yeah, it’s uh. It’s different to be here, but I’m starting to like it a little, ‘cause everyone’s pretty cool. Like uh, you.”

There's a little chuckle from Rhiannon when he says the first part, which she quickly tries to hide when she can't tell if it was intended as a joke. The smile remains though. “Well cold or cool, either way I'm glad you're here and starting to like it. I've gotten a bit more frosty myself, as you might have noticed. Maybe we're destined to be a great team!” She gives a small laugh. “You're certainly impressive in a fight. Jumped right into danger to help today… twice! Could maybe be a bit more careful on that end actually. I would hate to see you get hurt- even though so far you seemed practically invulnerable.” Her tone is amused, but there's a hint of concern in her eyes. No sign of tears though.

“It’s all I’m good for,” Seth flushes but laughs comfortably, “Helps I’m indestructible? And have an autopilot mode. Or something along those lines-”

“Hey c’mon you two we’re wrapping up,” the back door swings open suddenly and Sledge appears in the doorway, noise pouring out from inside the house.

Seth gives Rhiannon a glance before getting up, and extends a hand, “Guess that’s our cue.”

Rhiannon looks back when Sledge calls for them, a momentary expression of fear crossing her face before she looks up at Seth's hand and relaxes again. Her eyes gain a tinge of determination. She smiles and gives him a nod, taking his hand to help get to her feet. She pauses, then wraps Seth in another hug before turning and walking to join Sledge with a much more confident step. As she leaves, a crow with bright blue eyes manifests on Seth's shoulder. It gives off a soothing aura and caws at him pleasantly.

Seth returns the hug this time, and gives the odd bird on his shoulder a gentle one-finger pat before smiling to himself a little and following Rhiannon in. *Maybe it pays to open up a little sometimes, he thinks to himself*. *Maybe.* The door closes behind them with a gentle thud, and the meeting continues.

### **School (S3E11)**

April 15, 2019

Today started out pretty normal. In fact….today stayed pretty normal. Even despite the fact that fish boy was starting class today.

Rescue was designated as Narsus’s chaperone, which I almost felt bad for (I don’t think I’d be caught dead at a high school after I graduate but…) and just before school started we ran into Olivia and Rhiannon (She uh, looks different? Not in a bad way. I’m guessing it’s a ‘glamour’ so she doesn’t stick out as much. If she hadn’t been pointed out to me, I think it might have taken me awhile to recognize her, so I’m glad I didn’t get a chance to embarrass myself). To no one’s surprise, Rhiannon and Narsus were avoiding each other, though Narsus seemed perfectly fine interacting with the rest of us despite our Big Team affiliation (jerk).

Despite how much I want to hate him though, Narsus is not completely a bad guy. Which makes this whole thing more frustrating. He was all thumbs up and excited to partner with me during physics (*Why me??*) which I reluctantly agreed to. He was trying to tell me how impressed he was with me for taking down those carapace things the other day. Which was nice I guess? Other than the fact I don’t exactly remember half of what happened.

Anyways-we were building catapults today, which is actually something I was pretty confident I could do. Physics is worse than math honestly (And bullshit at this point. Not like I can lift fucking buildings with my flabby arms or anything ), and I’m pretty sure I’m barely passing just because you have to build random shit all the time, and I’m pretty decent and building random shit. Narsus however, is not very good at building random shit (I mean stuff underwater does play by a whole other set of rules, but I think he’s just pretty incompetent in general, so). I told him he could supervise, and I figured he’d just watch me put together a very average catapult, but I guess ‘supervise’ means ‘direct’ in Montrealish. At some point I just told him to can it, but god does that guy have a mouth. I decided to maybe cheat a little and sabotage our project (aka my grade) with a rubber band wound to hypertension, because why not?

Rescue was partnered with the guy with horns (I can never remember his name) and they made a pretty good little catapult (though, red dude was up the whole time so I assume Rescue did all the work). Rhiannon and Olivia (I never actually realized they were in my class?) paired up and made a solid one. *My* catapult shot right into the ceiling at some ridiculous speed after I let Narsus give a fantastically bloated introduction of how awesome our catapult was going to be. His reaction was so fucking funny, honestly, I felt bad (Not wholly, he’s pretty fun to mess with ‘cause of that ego). Totally worth it.

Rhiannon caught me after class and we talked for a little. She uh, mentioned she’d be willing to help me out with studying. Normally I’d...well there’s no way I’d say yes. It’s so humiliating asking for help with school, it’s supposed to be stuff everyone can do right? And why the hell would I admit to someone I care about that I’m actually stupid? But uh, I caved. Is it awful to admit I didn’t mind an excuse to spend time with her? And my grades *are* kind of on the rim of the can...

Anyways. Narsus looked weirdly hurt while I was talking to her. Which made me feel a little bad despite everything. But honestly I’m not about these elementary school games of friendship triangles-and for the sake of everything, Narsus was going to have to get over Rhiannon at some point if we were ever really going to make any progress on this Montreal thing. So yeah.

Next up was gym (augh). And of course we were doing track and field today (which honestly is the least destructive sport I can take part in, so there’s that). For some reason Godspeed-you know, *The* Godspeed of the League of Heroes, was filling in for our ever-missing PE teacher today. Coincidence? Probably not-but whatever. He called Olivia and Rhiannon over to chat individually, which, I don’t know, worried me I guess? While they talked Narsus decided to enthuse me about how great he was at the javelin toss and how he could probably beat *me* at it, which was fucking hilarious-I’m pretty sure I could throw a car further than he could throw a javelin. And dammit, I never did get to show him up, though maybe that’s for the better, because I’m not confident I wouldn’t throw the damn thing so far it’d come down somewhere...unfortunate, way out of sight (yikes).

Anyways, we had a relay race first. Though we were put into teams of five, it was a four person race. Rhiannon decided to sit out, and the rest of us lined up according to our running skills. I was last of course. That one weird group of kids including the horned dude looked like they had some weird beef with Rescue (he doesn’t even *go* here) and were talking shit. So we had to beat them, of course. I put my best foot forward-and maybe it was because I really didn’t want to embarrass myself completely with Rhiannon watching (I think she was actually cheering) or maybe it was because for some reason everyone else running first sucked more than I do (pretty unlikely, I’m literally in the bottom 5 at running) but I actually took the lead. I managed to pass off the baton to Rescue before everyone suddenly tripped? No idea-but Rescue took off. We had a great lead until devil horns took advantage of his powers to speed his team right through his leg of the race. Narsus barely managed to pass the baton to Olivia when their last runner was already seconds down the line. It was just a stupid PE race in the end, so honestly it shouldn’t have mattered all that much if we lost-but Olivia used some of her powers to pull us through to first place. I know she was sort of keeping her hero identity a secret-so it was pretty shocking for everyone. The javelin toss was cancelled and Godspeed er, well he ran away not really wanting to get in the middle of that. Can’t say I blame him. Olivia got called into Carol’s office, no surprise.

We went to lunch after, and naturally Rescue wanted to talk about the whole Montreal situation while we were on break. I got the feeling he specifically wanted to help Narsus and Rhiannon confront each other, which needed to happen but...instead Narsus was too preoccupied with wanting to have lunch with Bella (swan girl? Never really paid much attention to her, I think he made plans with her earlier, but honestly I wasn’t paying attention-pretty sure I was looking for homework I left, uh, at home...) and invited her over. Rescue and him went back and forth over it until Rescue decided it just wasn’t worth it (can’t blame him) and he left------------leaving me alone in the middle of Narsus and Rhiannon.

Rhiannon asked me to pass Narsus a lunch she’d made him (which was really fucking nice of her) because obviously, she didn’t want to upset him and all that by giving it to him herself. Which you’d think would be pretty easy to understand-but Narsus was so wrapped up in his grudge he went off as soon as he figured out it was from her.

I have to take a breath here-’cause just remembering it ticks me off. I honestly can’t remember the last time I was so pissed. I have *no* idea how I kept it together in the middle of Narsus going off at her for this and that bullshit and Rhiannon tearing up and fighting him back. I guess I was waiting for Narsus to say just one-*just one* fucking wrong thing I could commit to losing it over. But it-it never came. His stupid cause is in the right, and even though I could have butted in over the way he was saying it or how he treating Rhiannon I...I don’t know. I was trying to balance so many things in my head I just couldn’t commit-I wanted to protect her from this bullshit, I wanted to make him sorry for treating her like that and making her cry-but at the same time I knew...I was fucking *painfully* aware that Rhiannon had to be the one to stand her ground and get through to him. Me jumping in wasn’t going to accomplish anything-honestly, in retrospect I definitely would have made it worse. But Rhiannon was crying-and it was just, it was just awful. I don’t know how I managed to sit there and take it, but I did (granted, that bench is absolutely fucked from me gripping it like it was a goddamn lifeline, but hey, better that than Narsus’s face).

Narsus left with no real conclusion, and I was so pissed I was honestly going to run off myself, just so I could dent the asphalt outside and not accidentally murder the entire cafeteria instead (Have I ever mentioned I fucking *hate* being strong as shit?). But when I looked up at Rhiannon, she was crying and, *fuck*, she had that look again-like back before-though it was different, and even her glamour was starting to tear and fluctuate like she was on the brink of disappearing. And I-my anger dammed up. I got up and I tried to think of something to say-something so she wouldn’t run away or break down, something to help...hold her together after that shit she just endured...but I couldn’t think of anything past the rage. So I just-I just held her.

And she collapsed into my shoulder, crying. And I-I was mad still. I was fucking *furious*-but it all just washed down into something that made my heart feel like it was sinking even deeper than the ruins of Montreal. I wanted to tell her I was sorry it was so damn hard. That she’d sown the seeds to get through to him. That it’d be ok, that we’d find a way. But I couldn’t, so I just held her (In the middle of the cafeteria with the whole student body watching...though that didn’t really matter, I...I would have done anything to stop her crying...).

After I asked if she wanted to bail. I mean-*I did*, and I wasn’t even the one this shit was directed at. It was clear that Narsus didn’t know what he wanted either-at this point working together was on him, and Rhiannon deserved a fucking break. That was my intention anyways-but she refused. I realized it was sort of...a cowardly thing for me to ask her. That maybe I wasn’t giving her enough credit. Narsus was wrong-Rhiannon was strong, and she was standing her ground here quietly, just like this.

And I realized I guess, what makes her such a hero. It’s not just about the big things-saving people from falling rubble or taking out villains-surface things, like things I’ve only really done so far. Even though I’d said it myself the other day, that it’s about making things right, I had asked her to concede, to take the easy route and give up, even for a moment. And she wasn’t willing to do that-she was going to show her face and keep fighting on this small front in her own way to make things right. And I felt ashamed? But honestly...it mostly inspired me. And I don’t think I’ll forget that.

We headed to music class. Olivia was back from the principal’s, and Rescue even showed up-Narsus however was nowhere to be found. Not going to lie, I instantly reached the same level of cafeteria-destroying rage I had just gotten over. Rhiannon had literally endured his bullshit and still decided she was going to stand strong here-*and he was going to fucking bail?* She even asked to be excused to look for him because she was *worried* about him, and I was ready to go with her if only so I could give him a fucking piece of my mind (and maybe my fist) for having the *nerve* to pull that bullshit (I realize maybe this is a little hypocritical, but Narsus was in the red here if you ask me, and even if I’d asked Rhiannon to bail she didn’t, *SO YEAH*). Unfortunately Teach sort of knew what was up and wasn’t about to let us go off looking for him (luckily for Narsus).

Rhiannon ended up pairing with me for the rest of the class. I was still pissed but, music is a thing that usually calms me down at least, and when she offered to sing despite everything, I was looking a little forward to playing with her. I didn’t pay much attention to anything else for the rest of class-Rescue displayed his usual musical prowess (save some for the rest of us, man) and Olivia did a rock song. Me and Rhiannon were about to perform when who else but our friend Narsus showed up right before we could start, out of breath and equipped with some sort of instrument I’d never seen before. Like a turtle shell? With holes? He apologized and immediately took the stage and in a bizarre turn of events, and...asked if Rhiannon would sing a duet with him-the only song he really knew and ridiculously appropriate-Part of Your World. It was so surprising, and it felt...like a weird peace offering, and I couldn’t really keep my anger towards him (well at least, some of it). In fact-I was kind of happy. His instrument was weird as hell-in a really beautiful sort of way, and Rhiannon’s voice accompanied it really well (*she can sing!*). After that it...it felt like we’d made some kind of small breakthrough in all of this somehow, and Narsus apologized to Rhiannon (though I didn't appreciate the added commentary, I kept my mouth shut), Rescue, and Olivia.

But not me. Which, I mean, I guess. In fact, he seemed like he had some newly acquired beef with me. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it was because I had clearly taken Rhiannon’s “side” in all of this (I’m pretty sure there is only one side and that side is saving our cities together, but whatever), or maybe Montreal-ians had a sixth sense for knowing when someone reaches a point of ultimate hatred for them (like the sort of cafeteria murdering levels of hatred I’ve been known to reach occasionally) and he was holding a grudge about knowing how badly I wanted to crater his head at some point during lunch. I don’t know. But I also don’t particularly care if he hates me-as long as he’s got his shit together and is going to work with Rhiannon and everyone to make things right.

And I think-I think they just might.

### **All Aboard the Watchtower (S3E23)**

May 3, 2019

God, where to even begin. I guess, from the top, obviously.

Me, Elle, Olivia, and a (plant) girl named Lily were pointed to accompany Narsus to some sort of meeting with the League. After whatever happened at the forum, I figured tensions would be pretty high with Narsus, but apparently they were only high between him and me-for some reason (‘course).

We ran into Narsus beating the virtual shit out of people in an arcade. He seemed to be having a pretty good time. Naturally, we sent Olivia to kick his ass and end his reign of terror over the unfortunate denizens of the arcade, which she did (maybe a little too well). He actually managed to say hi to me after being dethroned, instead of straight up ignoring me, which I thought was a small improvement, though I still had no idea what his random problem with me was. He seemed pretty taken with Lily for some reason (Maybe there’s a lot of plant people in Montreal?).

We met up with Sledge who introduced herself to us (someone’s memory is worse than mine-that was a shit day for me but even I still remember a weird speech about her undying faith in the team from back when we ran into the whole Montreal mess) before “beaming us up.” Which was 100% percent accurate-a beam started reeling us off the ground and upwards. For a second I panicked-after Russia and Monday’s zeppelin bullshit I’ve really discovered heights may or may not make me nervous (just a little)-but as everything fell below us, we were suddenly...in space.

Remembering it feels like a dream. I know they always say it, but the Earth really is so, so blue. And so...small. And space? It’s so...vast, empty, and well, beautiful. I think I forgot to breath for a few seconds there, it’s really hard to describe, it was just...amazing. I wish I’d been experiencing that next to someone I really cared about (and not Narsus). I still can’t really believe I was there, in space-I guess the same way it’s still hard to believe I was in Japan or Russia. This whole instant-travel stuff is pretty out there (I wonder if mom would believe I’ve been in the stars…).

The League’s base in space is called “The Watchtower.” Fucking appropriately, as it literally looks out over the planet. Oddly enough being in space was...calming. I guess with a view of the Earth as just a small blue circle in the sky, all our problems felt so...small from up there. And so far away.

Godspeed welcomed us (I’m starting to get used to running into him, though it was obvious he’d be here at least) and told us we could explore the place in the time we had before the meeting. Narsus wanted to see the aquarium, and most of us wanted to see the danger room, and we also put the trophy room, alien plant room (I’m not even going to try remember the name of that), and the armory on the list. Narsus made it a point to mention how he totally didn’t need us going along with him and that he was ok by himself, but in the end we all went together.

The aquarium was kind of...awesome? It swapped from being under our feet to taking us below so it felt like we were underwater. A lot of the sea life were things not from earth I think, but that only made it cooler? And there was...well, a real *mermaid* in there named Meredith. She was-well, striking, and beautiful, and even though she casually mentioned invading Earth, Narsus seemed pretty taken with her too. He gladly jumped in the tank with her-and she actually invited all of us, making us weird little air bubbles so we could “breathe” underwater...which was so much cooler than I’d like to admit. Elle sunk and stayed right at the bottom thanks to their armor (was pretty freaking funny, though they seemed to be enjoying the sharks and stuff) while the rest of us swam around. It was pretty cool.

Before we went for a swim though, Godspeed asked us which side we thought Narsus was on-our’s, or Montreal’s, while he was swimming and out of earshot.

And I get it. The League’s main concern in this, for better or worse, is Halcyon. And I guess if things really do go to shit-it’s their job to save us-so they want to be sure about these things. But to me...it feels like there’s so much focus on this bizarre Us vs Them sort of thing that it’s making everything cloudy. Everyone’s so damn caught up in these what if’s and last resorts that it feels like they’ve forgotten we’re supposed to be fighting for both of us-for a best solution-and not settling for Plan D. It’s not us and them, it’s just...us, all together. Maybe I’d feel differently if I was in the League or from Montreal-and maybe it comes off as naive or idealistic, maybe even just straight up stupid-but I always thought heroes were the ones who make the impossible “happy ending” possible, no matter the odds. For everyone. And that’s the kind of hero I’d want to strive to be...even if it’s easier to just let the worst come when it’s more realistic-we live in times where aliens are real and a teenager can pick up buildings-who the fuck is going to tell me we can’t do the impossible? The least we can do is fucking try.

So I guess you could say Godspeed set me off on this thought process. I don’t blame him-I just, disagree I guess, like a stupid, naive idiot suburban kid would. But whatever. (It also didn't help that Elle said she'd pick her world over ours if faced with a choice when asked by Narsus-I don't know, maybe I really am just a stupid kid, but...)

Since we begged for a few extra minutes in the aquarium, Godspeed told us we missed our slot for the danger room, so we headed to the alien greenhouse instead. Inside was some kind of artificial sun? I never ever pass up an opportunity to *not* be the temperature of a refrigerator-so being in there and getting to be warm for once was pretty fucking nice. Everyone else though, apart from Lily who I think was talking to the plants (I kind of wouldn’t mind being able to talk to plants, I bet they’re way easier to deal with than people), looked pretty uncomfortable. Everyone spread out a bit, and before I knew it, it was me and Narsus.

He looked stressed? Or down? In retrospect it was *obviously* because fish and heat don’t go together, but I asked anyways. Why? I don’t know. There’s nothing more that I hate then stupid playground feuds-and Narsus clearly harbored those feelings towards me (for seemingly no reason). Of *course* he gave me some backlash, so whatever, I didn’t care, if he wanted to be all brooding and uncomfortable alone then so be it-though, my big mouth got the better of me and I may or may not have called him *tuna* for being a *coward* to face me, under my breath. Which he heard of course-and it was all just downhill from there. He brought up *eavesdropping* on me and Rhiannon’s conversation from that one day at school where he grilled her (*eavesdropping, seriously?*), putting words in my mouth (I never said he wasn’t good enough, just that he needed to figure out his shit instead of taking it out on Rhia, fishdick!) and he didn’t say it, but that was *definitely* the reason he was mad at me this whole time. What is he, *ten*?

I’ll admit I lost my temper-but hey he was asking for it. And he *did* bring Rhiannon into the conversation, dammit, and I don’t remember what was next but he challenged me a fucking *duel*. Whatever that was, I wasn’t gonna say no. He said if he won I couldn’t talk about him and Rhiannon or their business, and said if I won I could ask anything of him-and oh boy, *there was no goddamn way I was going to lose*.

That being said, I almost fucking lost.

I don’t remember how we got from point A to point B, but I do remember Narsus’s petty fish glare the whole way there. Elle agreed to be our referee for the “duel,”-which if I’m honest I imagined was just going to be like a...schoolyard fight? Which I’ve had *plenty* of experience with, without stupid powers to boot (in retrospect, I’m an idiot).

So it was a good fucking thing Elle talked to me before the fight. I don’t know them or their track record very well, but you could tell me they’ve bench-pressed a bus without super strength or taken down a million man army by themself and I’d probably believe you-they just have a crazy sort of power and authority about them, but at the same time they’re not unapproachable (maybe that’s just because the first time we met Milo was around, and his secret superpower is making *anyone* seem approachable). So getting a pep talk from them? Felt pretty effective. They sort of set my expectations and gave me some pointers, and although the look on their face gave away that they had just about zero confidence in me (which didn’t bother me, I don’t think anyone ever *has*), it still helped.

The League danger room is a fucking dojo (hilariously appropriate). I guess they can alter it a bit since they gave it a waterfall (for Narsus of course). With Elle as our ref, Narsus set the terms for a best of 3 rounds and we, well, fought.

If I’ve ever underestimated anyone in my life, it’s that stupid fishboy. For such an overly bloated *prince*, fuck if he can’t fight. I guess somewhere in between seeing him at school and his random childlike moments I forgot he totally took down a ton of those freaky carapace things the day we met, and that while he does talk way too much with an over-inflated ego, he *can* back it up (much to my annoyance). Narsus could manipulate water *and* was a ridiculously good fighter-I lost the first round faster than I can remember (well, mostly because I tried to use my stupid frosty powers which, for the record, has never worked out so far, but it seemed like a good idea at the time), and also yeah, because I underestimated the shit out of him. The next round I managed to take because I’m pretty sure he underestimated *me*, and when it comes to kicking people’s shit head on, I find I’m pretty damn proficient (I’m also really proficient at destroying rooms, sorry League).

The last round...I almost lost. Which, wasn’t a fucking option. He got a good hit in first and somehow, I got this *feeling*, like my powers...shorted out? It was freaky-and admittedly terrifying-and whether I like to say it or not I actually *have* gotten used to relying on them to some degree (Milo would probably say I’m “reclaiming” them or something). It was so jarring, he easily put me on the defense, and I was struggling just to keep from getting hit, let alone retaliate. At the last second I somehow spotted an opening thanks to the advice Elle had given me earlier-but speaking of...Elle was in the way. I was so in the moment, and so damn determined to win, I kind of….didn’t...care? Which feels, augh, like I’ll never make it up to them for that. I took my chances and of course my fucking powers kicked in right then-I won, but...froze Elle in a block of ice at its expense (and the entire place, kind of).

I tried to apologize after but, I think they knew I uh, decided to cut my losses there. Which just feels...so *bad*. They said it was fine but, augh. It’s definitely *not*. (Note: Make it up to them dammit, I don’t know how, they’re friends with Rhia, ask her or something? I’m literally the worst fucking person on the planet. *Augh*.)

Somewhere in between winning the “duel” and feeling like shit about Elle, I figured out what I wanted Narsus to do. Although I’d be lying if I didn’t consider something petty first (like having him do whatever I said for a day, or ‘get along with rhia from now on’ or having him show me that funky instrument again) I sort of remembered Rhiannon, and, I dunno, asked myself what she would do. I guess I’m trying to develop some kind of heroic mentality after all-but it’s hard when you’ve just been a petty punk loser your whole life (ha).

And so I thought. And it’s just that passing train of thought I had earlier-that I wanted him to stop trying to choose between Montreal and Halcyon, I wanted him to choose us both. I wanted him to set his sights for the happy ending for everyone, no matter how impossible, and I made sure to tell him he wasn’t alone. The same thing Rhia and I’d been trying to tell him from the get-go. If shit hits the fan-whatever, we can sink that bridge when we get to it, but that shouldn’t be our goal, we should find a solution for everyone-is what I tried to tell him I wanted.

Surprisingly, whether it was because of the duel or whatever, he seemed to understand-and he even swore on his name or his title or whatever that he would. He also implied he wanted me by him to help-and for all the things about Narsus that annoy me, it-it made me really happy to get through to him. It felt like we’d taken a step in the right direction, and that there was hope in this after all. I thought, well, I thought I did...good, maybe. (I also told him he *is* plenty good enough). And I guess the fight itself was pretty cathartic for us both. He’s not SO bad. Or whatever.

Thanks to our lengthy duel interrupting the League’s plans, the meeting was apparently postponed, and on our way out Godspeed asked again when Narsus was out of earshot, what side he was on. So...I told him, I told him he was on our side. As in all of us, though I don’t know if Godspeed really understood that. I mean from the beginning Narsus never came across to me as being anything but. He asked me if I would stake the Big Team’s name on that claim. I-I hesitated, if only because I wasn’t sure if I had any right to speak for the entire team, let alone put our name on the line for my own belief...but Elle gave me a nod, and so I did.

I...I feel good about today. I don’t know if I’m allowed to feel that way. It feels weird to be championing such a tangible cause, and to be honest, I think there’s a lot of other people who’d do it better than me-especially given that there’s all kinds of shit in my baggage that’s not really out to anyone (well, besides Cyclone and Carol), and you know, I really am new to this whole hero thing. But at the very least, if Narsus or Rhiannon want me by their side I’ll fucking be there. And at the end of the day I...I guess I want to deserve to be there too. So I’ll do my damn best.

Or something.

### **Romeo Must Die (S3E33)**

Tidus is a dick.

Quite possibly *The Dick* of dicks. I don’t know what else to say.

This is going to be fucking long for the fucking long day I’ve had. Where the hell do I even start?

I spent pretty much all of yesterday and the day before that studying for a stupid chemistry test, and for once in my life, I think I *had* it. Ever since Rhiannon made me that charm, I feel like I’ve been able to preserve more small details than usual, and the school thing has gotten a lot better. But of course-halfway through the goddamn test Carol calls me out of class to her office (My fucking hard work dammit) and who else but Gaius is sitting in there with her. She looked about as happy as I was to be dealing with it, and of course for whatever reason *I’m* the one who was delegated to be Gaius’s school chaperone-and it’s all downhill from there. At least I’m getting some extra credit out of it.

I’m exaggerating a little. Gaius is *not* Narsus. He’s much...cooler? I guess? Apart from calling me the Ice King (seriously?). He’s like-if Narsus wasn’t a complete asshole and instead was a…player? A borderline creep in the romantic department. Montreal continues to be pretty culturally strange.

Gaius seemed excited to meet the Big Team apparently since, Narsus talks about us a lot I guess. We ran into Gwen, Mini and some kid who’s named Bobby (I guess he’s from the 60s? Ok. I think his hero name is Tack-on which I don’t get since I think he has super speed? But I mean, I’m not one to talk) who’s also on the team and they decided to help show Gaius around the school with me. At least, that was the plan, but Gwen pissed Bobby off with some antics (like, you know, throwing him out a window. Honestly, the guy reminds me of how I used to be before I met Milo) so Mini did some damage control and left with him so we could meet back up later.

I don’t remember how the hell it came up, but Gaius wanted to play baseball-but neither me or Gwen really knew anything about it, so instead we went with basketball of course. The next time any of the Montreal princes ask to play sports here at the school, I’m going to take them to fucking math instead.

We got to the gym and some kid started chatting it up with Gwen. I led Gaius to the locker room and rented him some gym clothes and helped him change, and he decided to have the most. Awkward. Conversation possible with me. Because why not I guess. I…

It was a mess. I can’t even remember what he really said. He asked if I have...feelings for Rhiannon. At the time I said no-fucking obviously. I’d just met the guy how the fuck was I supposed to admit something to him that I’m not even sure about? HOW DID HE EVEN FIGURE? I don’t know what Rhiannon is to me-fuck I’ve never been good at this sort of thing.

I fall too hard and too fast for people-mom used to tell me that all the time. It’s like my heart’s trying to kill me, rolling cartwheels better than fucking Tilly Kepler. One second I feel like there’s something there and the next I can’t even imagine why I’d feel that way. I mean it only took me-what? Five? Six years to get that yeah-I feel that way about Milo-and even then I’m not sure. But trying to figure out my own heart about someone I met a couple of months ago is just-I can’t.

So then why the fuck does it feel so wrong to say I don’t?

Rhiannon is...fuck. I don’t know. Am I really doing this right now?

She’s like...sunlight. Being around her feels so warm and so comfortable. It’s like she’s just full and busting with life-so much so that when she’s sad it- it feels like the world is ending. Just being around her-I don’t know why. It makes me so...*happy*. Like I want to know everything about her-Like I’d do anything to keep her smiling. Like if I could make her happy...I don’t know. And she’s so strong-I can’t even imagine, it’s like she’s got the weight of the world on her shoulders, but she still, she can still look at me like that-with a smile that’s just, so warm-and even if she’s afraid of so much she still...she still stands so strong. She does what it takes, she doesn’t run away. And fuck, I don’t think someone more beautiful exists in this damn world, but god-then she makes such bad jokes sometimes they’re actually funny. She’s such a dork. And I’m so-I’m nothing in comparison, and yet when I stand by her I feel like maybe I could change that, like I could do anything. Rhiannon feels like my opposite. Maybe she’s everything I wish I was or had-but I’ve- I've always ever just been a fucking coward.

I want her. That’s-that’s different than love. I don’t want to lose her. I want to stay by her. I don’t-I don’t know if it’s that way or another. I don’t know. I don’t even know her. I…Even if I did-even if I figured it all out, she’d *never* feel that way about me.

I don’t know. It’s all a fucking mess. And for fucks sake, she has enough to deal with without my screwed up feelings. And I’ve got so much shit-how the fuck can I even think about getting close to someone when I wake up everyday not knowing where the fuck I am? I just- I know that but- but I. I can’t do this. How. How do I stop falling for someone? I don’t- I just...How- How do I make it stop?

[A few more lines are crossed out on the page, and the above paragraphs have a scribbled line through them but remain legible. Ink bleeds in some places and the page is wrinkled seemingly out of frustration. There’s a visible break before the words seem orderly again.]

I told Gaius to fuck off and that I didn’t have any feelings for Rhiannon. He didn’t say much after. I felt like shit for denying it-that did me great. Basketball would have been fine if the clown brigade Star Studded didn’t show up and challenge us to a match-honestly, what’s their problem? They seemed to have some pretty deep beef with Mini, and I mean, I wasn’t about to not back-up my friends no matter how ridiculous the reason I guess. Gaius joined us as well for one power-fueled game, and the guy who was talking to Gwen was on the other team (why?). Also...Milo was our referee? He was acting pretty weird but I didn’t really have time to investigate it (I found out why later anyways).

I’ve always been shit at basketball (I’m fucking short) but hell, my vertical jump these days is pretty damn good. I honestly don’t remember much from the match, but Mini started off by setting herself on fire so, I imagine it went about as well as you’d think. I got to do a slam dunk and Gaius looked like he was having a bit of fun too. The opposite team was all into cheating like hell but Mini won us the game by, you know, exploding the hoop and half the gym.

We spent the rest of the day in Carol’s office along with, well, everyone involved. Can’t say I’ve seen her quite so pissed and that’s saying a *lot*. One of the guys from Star Studded tried to grill me about what he thinks is wrong with the Big Team and my conclusion is that they’re pretty delusional-even I’m not naive enough to believe you can “save the world” without facing any hard consequences. But he also had a point-playing pretend hero when you’ve got baggage like mine...is endangering everyone on the team. It...felt pretty bad, especially because...I’m aware of that. I could make an excuse like, “Cyclone said it was ok” but honestly-he’s fucking right. I don’t even hide my identity, and no one on the team besides Cyclone and Milo actually know about HELIX. They could theoretically attack everyone on the team because I’m here-and I...I know that. I’m here because I’m supposed to be getting help so I can be ok and go home, but I haven’t actually taken any steps to do that...It’s-I don’t know. Honestly. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. Running away from everything like always because I’m too fucking scared to face it. Everything always comes full circle, doesn’t it? And for all I know I’m a ticking time bomb.

Gwen took us out to dinner after Carol had her fill of yelling at people since we missed lunch. She was exchanging baby pictures of Rhiannon for baby pictures of Narsus-I can’t say I wasn’t a little invested. Gaius poked a shit ton of fun at Bobby and it was pretty funny to watch him get teased. Gaius also let something slip-

Narsus has feelings for Rhiannon.

I’m so fucking tired of writing about it I don’t know what to say anymore. I was instantly terrified. Even with how I feel or how I don’t know how I feel, I was more fucking scared of losing a chance with her, or...I guess..losing her in general than everything. It’s so fucking pathetic.

Before we left to pay Narsus a visit Mini pulled me aside to give me a present. She and Rhiannon enchanted some drumsticks so they’d hold up if I used them. They had little crows engraved on them and everything. Mini read me like a fucking book but I was honestly so happy about it. Mini can be a little shit most of the time but she’s our little shit I guess-and honestly that’s probably the best present I’ve ever gotten, after Rhiannon’s memory charm I guess I’m two for two.

Halfway through our conversation I spotted Milo though, of all people, walk into the restaurant’s bathroom. I figured something was up-this was just weird as fuck. Mini bounced to visit Jaime in the base’s medbay-I made them a stupid thing since I can’t visit them (hope they like it) and gave it to Mini for delivery. After she left I followed Milo-except it wasn’t Milo. Whoever it was told me that the Aquilonians weren’t to be trusted and were lying to me (us?). They said some shit about wanting to “rule the school” and that they only cared about the school (what the actual *fuck*). I didn’t really know what to make of that, and they disappeared right after. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me, but that was a load of crap coming from someone who couldn’t even tell me who they were and was disguised as my best friend. At least Narsus has the balls to lie to my face if he is, and I’d trust him over some random asshole any day. Seriously? Ruling the school? What the hell is that even supposed to mean?

Gwen gave me some ice cream before we were on our way. Although she can be *so* overbearing sometimes, she has her moments I guess. She was asking Gaius some stuff about Montreal, and when they were done I pulled him aside.

I’m really the worst. I’ve *never* confessed my feelings for anyone. Feelings I’m so screwed up over-ones I’m not even fucking sure about. But I did it. Just because I was fucking terrified I’d somehow lose everything because I couldn’t admit it. Am I happy? I didn’t run away from something for once? I’m such a fucking idiot. And worse-I felt good about it after. Like yeah “*I totally figured it out and said it out loud*.” What a fucking joke. Despite knowing his brother’s feelings Gaius gave me advice about it. Basically that I shouldn’t be a fucking coward-what’s new? He got into it about his own life too, I think. I...I appreciated it thinking back. If only things weren’t so fucked in my head, maybe I would have really taken the advice, too. Imagine that.

We got to the docks only to encounter Tidus and a bunch of his soldiers, and Narsus. Tidus declared that he wasn’t arresting Rhiannon for her “crimes” anymore-he was going to arrest Narsus. Honestly with this level of bullshit surrounding me, I don’t have time for whatever love games my head is screwing with. As much as I dislike Narsus, switching who you’re blaming doesn’t change anything. I’m not letting Tidus hurt Rhiannon or Narsus, anyone on the team, the city, or even fucking Montreal. Hypocrite, coward, or whatever the fuck I am, I’m not going to let him. No matter the odds. No matter what it takes.

### **Juliet Must Cry (S3E41)**

[The page is thoroughly spotted with tear stains.]

Dear Mom,

Sorry I haven’t tried to write before. I just never found the excuse. I miss you so much sometimes it feels like my heart is being strangled in my chest. There’s a lot of people here I could probably talk to about this. But none of them are you.

I wish HELIX turned my heart to ice too. Lately I’ve been thinking that a lot. After me and Milo ran away, I’ve been playing hero here in Halcyon. At first it seemed like a great idea-I figured if I was supposed to be a weapon, I’d turn it right around on them and become a hero with these powers instead. I've made friends for once. I’ve even saved a few people. But being a hero isn’t like it is on TV. It’s really not something just anyone can do. It’s so easy to spout things about morality and ideals when you look in from the outside. Everything is so clear when you’re not the one who carrying that burden, when you’re not in the middle of it. I’ve put everyone here in danger because I’m here. I’ve just been pretending this whole time.

Someone on the team died the other day. And someone else might too, because of something I told them. I’m the one who told him to do everything he could to find a solution for all of us. He asked me what I’d do to stop a war. How far I’d go. I told him I’d do anything-it’s true I think. I’ve never really cared about myself, and if it really came down to it... I’m sorry, I don’t think you’d want to hear that. He asked me that and it went right over my head. I was too distracted... I could have talked him out of it. I could have stopped him. I didn’t. And I even took the last moment he’d have with someone he really cares about, and who...really cares about him, because I was jealous. I...I don’t have the words to say how much I hate myself right now, or how sorry I am.

But I know you-you always told me sorry isn’t just a word. It means you take strives to fix it. To make it right. So I’m...I’m going to stop pretending. I’m going to stop being a coward. I’m going to Montreal and I’m going to fight Narsus for listening to an idiot like me. And I’m going to save him whether he likes it or not. I’ll give Rhiannon and him the chance they lost because of me. My heart doesn’t matter-as long as everyone’s happy, it really could be ice for all I care. I’ll put a brave face on, and I’ll become brave too.

And when I get back I’m coming for HELIX. I’m done playing pretend, I’m done playing games, and I’m done running away.

I’ll be home soon mom. I promise.

Love,
Seth

### **Letter to Jaime (6/12/19)**

Hey Jaime,

Happy birthday. I’m not so good at doing this in person so I hope this is alright. Thanks for keeping me sane the past couple of weeks and, you know, just being you. I know we haven’t known each other very long but, I’m really glad I got the chance to know you. There’s a lot of stuff on your shoulders but I hope being with everyone can help-maybe that’s a little bit hypocritical of me to say, but I think since meeting you and the others, I’m starting to believe it. So I hope you can too. I know I won’t be around for a bit in the next coming days, so keep sharp ok? I can’t bail you out of anything so if I come back to find out you were eaten by an alien, I’m gonna be really pissed.

Jokes aside, I hope today’s a good one for you, and the coming year is easy. There are lots of people who-love you so, enjoy it a little. No one likes getting mixtapes as presents but I made you one anyways. Happy birthday.

Seth

P.S. Don't read too much into it

[Attached is a small deep purple and indigo bouquet of dried lavender and wildflowers wrapped in brown kraft paper, and a white cassette tape with no label.]

### **Binding By Oath (S3E113)**

For the first time since I was kidnapped by HELIX, I can finally sleep again.

The nightmares are probably still gonna be there, but that’s ok because when I wake up, I know that I’m still me. I’m here with everyone, and I’ve changed and come so far. My memory is getting better and I’ve even recovered things that were lost already.

Jaime’s free from their burden of pulling life, Mini’s free of Alastor, and now I’m on my way too. I mean- there’s still a long way to go for all of us. But we’re almost there. And it’s a good feeling.

Since it’s become such a habit, this probably won’t be the last journal I write, but I don’t have to sweat the details so much anymore. I can just write whatever I want. And that’s nice. It feels like I’ve picked up pieces of myself I didn’t know I was missing. And it’s all thanks to the people around me- my friends.

So big news- we finally dealt with Alastor and Curson. It was hell to do- and if I’m being honest, there was a moment where I thought we might not pull through. But we did.

Elle and Merlin (asshole) apparently located some old exorcism rite out in the spirit worlds and sent us along to find it. Just in time- something Mini was running out of. We smashed some heads together (literally) to recover it, but that was no sweat. For some reason, it’s there that I encountered this HELIX thing in a stolen memory. Like it was right in front of me and not inside my head. It was that night I lost- the night Jaime kissed me after we so stubbornly refused to part. It was a good night. It’s wonderful to finally remember. Since I have such a weird effect on the spirit world I guess it shouldn’t have surprised me too much- when I removed the little HELIX beacon the area started falling apart, though Elle got us out and back to the base, no sweat.

Mini noticed something was up and grilled my reluctance to let her help. I was just- afraid. I mean, she had little time as it was. If we ran out of time to save Mini because she was too busy saving me with some last ditch effort, or if something went wrong and both me *and* her were compromised, we’d have lost the chance to save her. It wasn’t something I wanted to risk.

And- well. Having my memories fucked in the first place was bad enough. It’s weird- when it comes to HELIX, sometimes I feel so angry and pained by what they did to me, what they took from me, that I’d do anything- I’d brave anything to get rid of it. And other times I’m desperately afraid- too scared of somehow losing everything I’ve got left- that I can’t bring myself to lift a finger against it. And it goes back and forth. Sometimes it’s both. Today it was the latter.

But I let her in and I let her do it anyways. Despite everything. I think because Jaime reminded me that it’s not just me that suffers from it. It’s them too- it’s everyone really. And I’m still getting used to being loved. Still getting used to understanding that people care about me enough to take the risk. Like I’d do for them. So I tried to let that counter my cowardice. And it did- and, you know the rest.

Mini’s sanctuary was absent of ghosts when we got there (they were just chilling downstairs instead, apparently). Alastor said some bullshit (that guy looked fucking freaky as hell, but I wasn’t really expecting anything different from an actual demon) and we set up the ritual. Everyone played their parts, but we didn’t know- somehow Alastor had switched places with Mini. To us, he just turned into a ghost shaped like her (augh), but it turns out that was actually Mini. And the flesh and blood Mini chanting her tirual part besides us...was Alastor.

I didn’t fucking notice. I mean- how could I? I even protected the dickbag thinking it was her (not a very good way to thank the person who just helped you fix one of the biggest issues in your life). We let Curson out of his prison too- figured two birds, one stone. Alastor (aka the real Mini) disappeared and then Jaime caught on. Understandably, they didn’t give away that they had. To me and Aman- Jaime had just fatally stabbed Mini out of nowhere.

I’m not sure I’ll ever get the image of Jaime stabbing Mini out of my head, even if it wasn’t Mini at the time- and I can’t even imagine being either of them in that moment. But that signaled the end of the ritual, even though everything was still...a mess. Aman ended up giving his all to help finish it- Horus came out and the two sealed the demons away. With them gone all the ghosts came out (surprisingly, I was fucking fine, seeing as how there were some other massive things on my mind, like trying to process what the actual fuck had just happened) and among them was Mini.

Jaime saved Mini’s body (from getting ACTUALLY STABBED) and in the end we were able to reunite her spirit with her body again. She stored all the ghosts in the Bands of Soloman so they wouldn’t go free to eventually wreck havoc on us or anyone else later, and that was it- Mini was free. Very warm, very alive, and free.

Horus said a couple things to us (and called Aman an idiot, pfft), and after Aman returned to us, Mini kissed him. I was not jealous at all. It was sweet, especially considering everything. And then just like that, we were back at the base- Elle’s sword sticking through Mini’s book in front of us as if to say that it was truly finished.

We spent the entire rest of the night throwing together a birthday cake for Mini (and Aman sort of, by extension) and celebrating. A lot of it didn’t feel real, but it was great, and I don’t want to imagine it going any different. We all get to rest now for the rest of the day- something I thought I’d never be able to do again comfortably. *Normally*.

And it feels like the start of something wonderful.