Float On

**Danger Room, Big Team Base. Thursday July 23, 2:30 PM.**

Ernest spins tiny tornadoes in front of himself as he walks through the halls of the Base, attempting to make the wind whistle along to a tune as a distraction from the sense of loneliness creeping in from the back of his mind. So far everyone he’d called up to hang out had been busy: Atlanta and Kurt were on one of their trips to Madagascar, Boon was doing Valkyrie training with Maggie, Melody and Aman were on a date, Bolt was messing with the time stuff they’d picked up from Dr. Doorheart, and Faith still hadn’t made it back from Australia. Carm hadn’t answered her phone, but she didn’t always have it on her, so he hopes he might find her or someone else around the Base with nothing better to do.

His face brightens when he spots Ellen floating around in the Danger Room, figuring that Carm must be somewhere nearby. But as he scans the room, it becomes clear that Ellen is alone.

He turns to leave and continue his search, but hesitates in the doorway. “Hey, Ellen. Mind if I ask you something?” he calls out.

It takes a minute for Ellen to register that someone is there; she’s not sure at first if the new upside-down-person shape in her view is part of the video on the visor screen or not. On realizing that it’s Ernest, and that he’s trying to talk to her, the glow on her boots fades and Ellen drops to the floor, flipping mid-air to land on her feet.

Her helmet folds back with a press on the visor, revealing bedhead and bleary eyes. After a few rapid blinks and shakes of her head she looks a bit more alert and finally responds. “Hey dude. What’s up? Tay’s still sleeping, if that’s what you’re wondering.” She wobbles slightly in place, not seeming fully awake herself.

Seeing Ellen’s tired appearance, Ernest tips his head quizzically. “Is that some kind of new training exercise or…?” He shakes his head, focusing on the original question he’d meant to ask.

“Actually, I was wondering whether you ended up listening to that playlist I made for you before you left?” He’d certainly listened to his own digital copies of Ellen and Carm’s playlists many times in the days that they’d been gone from his perspective. “It’s fine if you didn’t,” he adds hurriedly. “I just want to know if that was like, a good going-away present or not.”

“Oh, yeah. We used to listen to those a lot, actually. Just us though, ‘cause one time Chris barged in and started asking if we were listening to future music, and that was as annoying as it sounds.” Ellen smiles briefly at the memory, but shakes it off as quick as it came. “We still have ‘em, s’just harder to find a cassette player now.”

“That’s what you wanted to ask about?” She scoffs with a confused head tilt.

Ernest chews the inside of his cheek as he debates just apologizing for interrupting and going back to wander the Base. He starts and stops a few times before blurting out, “Why did you leave? Not– I mean, I know why you left the past to come here, and I know why you left here and went back to the past. But why did you leave the past again? It sounds like you hadn’t planned to end up back here, anyway.”

Ellen blinks a few more times out of shock. Similarly, she takes a while to word her answer, running a hand through her hair and pacing back and forth a few times. “Long story short? ‘93 got boring.” She tries to laugh it off, but Ern’s tone of genuine concern makes it hard to joke.

“I mean, you're right—we sure as shit didn’t mean to come back this soon. At least, not for all you guys here. So I don’t know if you want an apology or whatever, but… I dunno.” She sighs and drops to the floor, sitting with her legs crossed, propping her head up with her hands. “Like, don’t be mad at Tay, but also I’m not your fuckin’ boss; do whatever you want. Point is we’re here for now, so being mad doesn’t really seem worth it.”

Ernest sits as well, tucking his knees up to his chest. “I’m not mad about it, I’m happy that you and Carm are back, for however long that is.” At the thought of them leaving again, he hums a few bars of swirling purple melody before catching himself.

“I just wanted to know– You’ve got friends who missed you here, and I’m assuming you have friends and family who miss you in the nineties too. Was it worth it? Leaving all that behind to do what you wanted to instead?” He watches for Ellen’s reaction intently.

“I mean… yeah. In the end, it’s not like we ever really had a plan. We just wanted to get away ‘cause ‘92 wasn’t really home anymore. Like, I think Tay got used to it, but it was still uncomfortable there, y’know? From the time we got back, there were so many things we could really only talk to each other about, that after a while we kinda realized that maybe it didn’t matter where or when we were, so long as we were together.” She smiles softly at the memories, jumbled together as they are. As she realizes Ernest is staring at her, she clears her throat and continues.

“But enough ‘Ellen is a total sap’ time. Why’re you asking? Thinking about taking a time road trip with Kurt or something? Here’s a tip: stay away from Mars between 2318 and 2327. Things got *rough*.”

“If no one I knew ever traveled through time again it would be too soon.” Ernest attempts to pass it off as a joke, and winces when he hears the bitterness leak into voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean– I know you’re trying to get the time bike working again, and all, and I hope that you do. I’ve just been feeling selfish lately.” He can’t quite continue looking at Ellen.

“But yeah, I’ve been thinking about… uh, leaving, I guess.” He pushes himself back with his toes, rocking rhythmically. “Maybe not soon, but… When I first got to Halcyon, I was so focused on graduating high school and figuring out how to control my powers, but now I’ve basically done both of those. And I don’t really know what to do now that I’m done?”

“Leaving, huh?” She leans back, propping herself up with her hands and staring at the ceiling of the danger room. Now neither Ernest nor Ellen are looking at each other. Her voice takes on an amused but distant, almost wistful, tone as she remembers the summer of 1993, when she and Tay had first seriously talked about leaving. “Where’re you thinking of going? There’s a lot of… stuff out there; it can be hard to take the first step without a destination in mind.”

“I hadn’t really thought about a where? More of a who and a how. I guess we’d figure out a where afterwards.” Ernest shrugs, trying to mask the lack of detail with an air of nonchalance. “I just wish I knew some way not to upset people if I do leave. I didn’t tell people when we moved from New York to Halcyon and that… didn’t go great. But goodbyes are also hard. Which was why I wanted to know if the playlists were any good.”

“Well I’m guessing the ‘who’ is Kurt, so can either of you drive, I guess? Like, this doesn’t seem that deep, Ern. I feel like you’re putting way too much thought into this.” She lays down fully on her back, limbs splayed like a starfish, staring up at the ceiling.

“Plus goodbyes are only hard if you’re not gonna come back, so I don’t think you’d nee-,” the realization makes Ellen bolt back up to sitting position. “Oh shit, you’re like *leaving* leaving?”

Ernest winces at the mention of Kurt. If it’s this hard to talk about leaving to Ellen, he doesn’t know how he’ll bring up the subject to his boyfriend. “I don’t know,” he says, hugging his legs closer to his chest. “Maybe? Eventually? It just feels like I can’t stay in Halcyon forever.” If he stays, maybe he ends up turning on all of his friends. If he stays, maybe he’s the one who gets left behind.

“Aw sick, that’s rad dude. What, Halcyon too small for you now, Mr. Famous?” She jokes.

“What? That’s not even–“ Ernest sputters indignantly before snapping back, “I’m not the one who’s planning to skip town as soon as I have a way out. So what, you and Tay can do whatever you want and I’m supposed to be happy about that, but as soon as I want to do something for myself, I’m the selfish asshole?” A peal of thunder echoes around the room before he can remember to reign in his powers.

“Wh- who the fuck said you can’t go?” Ellen instinctively matches Ernest’s tone before the thunder hits, calming herself as it passes. “Ern, I said it was cool. Why are you freaking out? Literally no one is calling you selfish, I- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?”

The exasperation drives Ellen to her feet, floating up and stretching her legs until boots hit the floor. “Ok, I get that this is a big deal to you, like that’s obvious, but I feel like I’m missing some context for the *why*. What gives, dude?” She adjusts her posture to something easier—uncrossing her arms and putting her hands in her pockets, relaxing the scowl on her face—in the hopes that Ernest will open up in return.

Ernest takes a slow breath in and lets it out noisily. “Sorry. You didn’t call me selfish. I just feel I am every time I think about… leaving.” He stands, but leans against the wall next to the door like he might need to make a run for it. “Last month I met a…” *Person? People?* “Group, I guess. They call themselves Gestalt. They’re all synced up, on like a mental level? And I’ve been thinking about joining them. But I don’t imagine we’d stick around Halcyon for very long so… yeah. Leaving.”

He kicks the heel of his shoe against the wall, letting it rebound and bounce a few times. “I probably would have just done it by now, except I keep thinking about how many people would be upset if the Weatherman just up and left. But you did that like, at least three times. So it can’t be that bad.” He folds his arms, daring Ellen to challenge his logic.

“Got me there, Ern.” Ellen laughs at the accusation. “Bouncing to join up with some people that really ‘get’ you, though…” She trails off and her eyes drift up to one side in reminiscence. A blush starts to form on her cheeks, spreading in time with her smile. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Honestly, if you want my imho, I say go for it.”

Ernest’s shoulders drop as some of the tension flows out of him. “Thanks. Sorry about yelling. I just expect people to try and talk me out of it, I guess. That’s one of the parts I’m worried about goodbyes. Could use some advice on those if you’ve got any,” he says, glancing over to Ellen. “I’ve at least got some thoughts on like, the playlists and stuff. Still no idea what I’m gonna tell all the Weatherman fans. I’m not used to having so many people care about what I do.”

“I don’t really know if I have any advice that’s isn’t just, like, totally obvious shit, y’know? ‘Don’t be an asshole about it’, that’s probably the main one. Learned that one the hard way.” She starts shuffling towards Ernest, leaning against the wall next to him before continuing,

“‘It’s ok to feel conflicted about what you’re doing’, there’s another. I mean, honestly, except for the last time, I don’t know that I ever really *wanted* to leave. It always felt like I *had* to. Like if I didn’t, things were only gonna get worse and it’d be my fault for not doing anything about it. ‘93 was the first time that leaving was actually fun, and I’m pretty sure it’s ‘cause Tay was there and… yeah. So if you’re gonna be with these ‘mind people’ and you trust them and you’re all cool, then it doesn’t sound like it gets much better than that.”

She rolls onto her arm to face Ernest and kicks his still bouncing foot, interrupting his nervous tick to make sure he's listening. “And lastly? ‘Other people want you to be happy, too.’ They might bitch and moan about it, but if you’re talking about the same people I think you are,” she smiles at the thought of the tiny cartoon faces of Atlanta and Boon and Mel and Ernest that Tay used to doodle in her notebooks, “they just want you to be happy too, and they wouldn’t want you to be miserable just to make them feel better.”

“Can’t say shit about your ‘fans’,” she makes air quotations around the word, “but if they don’t support you then fuck ‘em anyway. Buncha posers.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean about feeling like you have to leave. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before,” Ernest says, rolling his eyes, “but in the future that Kurt went to, I turned on everyone and became a big time supervillain. So I figure even if they’ll miss me when I go, it’ll be better than putting them through that.”

“And even if that doesn’t actually happen… It’s not like we’re all going to stay together forever. You and Tay are gonna get back to space eventually. Boon’s probably headed off to medical school somewhere else in a few years. If I go with Gestalt, I won’t have to worry about being left alone.” The melody of Gestalt’s song floats through his mind, and this time he doesn’t attempt to stop himself from humming along.

Ellen’s eyebrows shoot up at Ernest’s casual future villain reveal. *What the fuck?! I guess it’s always the ones you least expect… Holy shit, no wonder he wants to get out of here.*

She releases all the air from her cheeks in a loud puff. “Do you trust Gestalt that much? Like, do you think they’ll stop you from going bad? Is that why you wanna go?” Her arms instinctively cross and her shoulders tense up—her own future self might not be her top concern anymore, but Ellen remembers what it felt like when all she could think about was how to stop herself from becoming that.

Ernest almost misses the silvery thread of Ellen’s voice, caught up in the gentle purple waves of his humming. When he realizes she’s talking, he has to shake his head to clear it and concentrate on her words.

“Well, no. Kind of the opposite?” he grimaces. “The first time I met Gestalt, I ended up hurting Faith pretty badly. And that’s what made me really start to worry that the future Kurt saw might come true.” He digs his hands into his pockets, trying to hide the fact that he’s balling them into fists to avoid whipping up a windstorm in the Danger Room. “But that was when Gestalt was being manipulated by Helix. I don’t think it would happen again. And I guess I figure, if I don’t have any hero friends, at least I can’t turn traitor on them, right?

“How do you know it has to be hero friends you turn against? What if you turn on Gestalt, or the mind link thing makes all of you flip out on everyone else? If you just wait for shit to happen, it’ll happen; that’s how time works. I’m not saying you shouldn’t leave—obviously, I’m like the last person who could tell you that—I’m just saying that cutting yourself off from people isn’t the answer. Trust me.”

“I’m *trying* to do something different and not just wait around. That’s why I feel like I have to leave Halcyon.” Ernest sighs and slides down the wall until he’s sitting on top of his heels. “Maybe you’re right, though. It might not matter where I am or who I’m with if those aren’t really the problem.” He looks up towards Ellen. “Do you still worry that you might turn out like this timeline’s adult Ellen? Not like, literally, I mean, you’ve done all of that time hopping stuff she hasn’t. But how do you know you won’t just end up in the same place even if you try to take a different path?”

“Honestly, I put a lot of that on other people. It’s kinda shitty, I know, but when I got here the first time I only cared about like 3 people. I was so focused on me and her and what happened with Chris that I totally ignored what I was doing to like everyone else. So like, thinking about more people, different people, people who I care about because I like them, that helped a lot. And sure, Tay’s been the only constant in my life for a long time, and I’m not saying I wish she wasn’t, but there are *always* other people.”

Ellen slides down the wall too and sits on the floor. “It kinda sounds like Gestalt does everything as one, and isn’t that just you being alone with yourself all the time? You need more people than that, Ern. New ones, old ones, doesn’t matter. Just don’t be alone.” She hesitates for a second before awkwardly placing a hand on Ernest’s shoulder in support.

Ernest is silent for a moment while he turns Ellen’s point over in his head. “Yeah. I guess that I was thinking about it the other way around, of having people around all the time. But it would probably be a little bit of both, huh?” He smiles back at Ellen.

“Sorry to just barge in here and dump all of that on you. Had a lot on my mind lately, I guess.” He stretches slowly, reaching his arms out above him. “I should let you get back to— what kind of training were you doing before, anyway?” he asks.

“Oh, that’s not training,” Ellen scoffs, “I just miss space. Y’know, not a lot of places I can simulate zero grav around here: last time I tried to just float around outside, some dumbass flew in outta nowhere and tried to ‘rescue’ me. So annoying.” Her eyes almost roll out of her head with exasperation.

She stands and does a quick whole body stretch. “Anyway, yeah. Nice talk or whatever, hope it helped? I dunno dude, probably better than stewing on all of it on your own. Yeah…” Ellen looks around uncomfortably for a minute, then remembers what Ernest was doing when he showed up in the first place. “Oh right, Tay should be waking up pretty soon, I can go get her if you want.”

Ernest stands as well, starting to turn towards the door. At the mention of Tay, he hesitates. “Even though Carm could absolutely destroy me at Bash Sisters while half asleep, I don’t know if she’ll want to. I should probably give her some time to actually wake up and everything.” The familiar tune starts nagging at him again, but he takes a deep breath and pivots on his heels to face Ellen. “Mind if I just chill in here with you for a little while? That zero grav stuff sounds pretty cool.”

Ellen smiles, surprised. “Sure, yeah, if you want to. You want a go? You can borrow the boots and take a spin, I’ll just wanna grab my gloves in case you get stuck on the ceiling or something. I can check on Tay while I’m there.”

Ernest grins. “Absolutely. And yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Given how long it took me to figure out flying with my own powers in regular gravity, I’ll probably get stuck a few times.”

“S’cool, dude; it took me…” Ellen starts to count the days before realizing she doesn’t know if the amounts of time would even be equivalent, “uh… a while just to figure out how to surface lock. I’ll be right back!” She unbuckles and kicks her shoes at Ernest then jogs out of the room towards the stairs.

He pulls off his own shoes and starts strapping the boots on, careful to cinch as many buckles as he can find. Losing one midair seems like it would be a bad time.

It’s a few minutes before Ellen gets back carrying her gauntlets, looking both more awake and more disheveled than when she left. “Sorry ‘bout the wait; Tay woke up.” Ellen readjusts the straps of her sports bra and smoothes her hair. “She said she can hang in a bit, but in the meantime, you got some gravity to lose.”

“Okay, so how do I–“ Ernest starts to ask, before he suddenly finds himself floating. Instinctively, he pulls on a gust of wind to keep himself airborne, but without gravity to pull him down, the force sends him hurtling towards the ceiling. His first few attempts at course corrections start sending him spinning, but eventually he’s able to slow himself to a halt. “I think I got it now,” he says, holding very still in the center of the room.

“Wai- no, keep your feet together and it’ll- yeah. That. You got it, dude.” Portals that had flared up near Ernest blink out of sight as he stabilizes on his own and Ellen relaxes. “Way to get stationary mode. Now if you wanna regulate for more or less pull, shift your heels up and down. Like this,” Ellen sort of steps in place, on and off her tip-toes.

“Like this? Woah! Okay, so not like that…”

For the next half hour, Ernest and Ellen’s muffled voices can be heard echoing throughout the halls of Big Base – calm directions and surprised exclamations interspersed with bouts of laughter.