Series One, Episode Seven

## Summary

### Part One

Adrian Simpson talks about the old Vauxhall Vectra, which he says is like a "chocolate orange" because they are seen very commonly on the roads of Britain. He then moves onto the new Vauxhall Vectra, and launches into a foul-mouthed vitriol about its unattractive exterior: "The front end is the biggest piece of f\*cking vintage Vauxhall dullness I've ever seen, the rear end is an entirely new form of b\*llocks ugliness, and the bit in the middle is a complete piece of sh\*t". He then takes the model for a test drive, and although he likes the quality plastics, the air vents, meant to resemble those of the Volkswagen Passat's, do not release any warmth, and the indicators can cause confusion for the driver. Additionally, the automatic boot-opener can be deceptive, as it unlocks the boot, but doesn't technically open it. However, he likes the comfortable seats and driving position, although the 2.2 litre engine "struggles" due to the car's increase in size, and regarding the engine, he encourages viewers to purchase the models with either a 3.0 V6 diesel or 3.2 V6 petrol engine. Prices start from £14,645 and end at £21,000, and traction control, cruise control and air conditioning are standard features of the car. He then compares it with the Nissan Primera, the Renault Laguna, the Volkswagen Passat, the Ford Mondeo and the new Mazda 6 - which he feels is a lot better than the Vectra due to its good interior comfort and low price. He finishes his verdict of the Mazda foul-mouthedly, calling it "the dog's b\*llocks".

Tiff Needell tells the viewers the story of trader Liz Biagioni, who initially wanted a Porsche 911 Turbo, but decided to buy a Mini Cooper after seeing Needell driving one when she was watching television, also making the decision to participate in the John Cooper challenge. Seeing her desire to take part, Needell offers her some tuition, and is pleased when she improves her skills in his presence; her driving was more sluggish during her first solitary run. She predicts that she'll beat last place in the actual competition.

### Part Two

A week later, Needell escorts Biagioni to the race venue at Wiscombe Park Hill Climb, and is impressed by her newfound skills: her best during the practise run is fifth fastest, and, despite being very nervous, manages to come in seventh place during the timed run.

Quentin Willson shows the viewers two of the most fashionable sports coupes at present: the Jaguar XK8 and Mercedes-Benz 500SL, which can be bought for just between £15,000 and £20,000. He tests the 500SL first, and explains that it can now be bought for just over 18 grand - and he previously owned the car that he was testing at the time of filming. He then moves onto the XK8, which has two small rear seats and a large boot, and costs £18,500. He then warns that servicing and repairs will be very costly, however, financial management will be easier if the owners are careful.

## Presenters

### Regular presenters

* Tiff Needell
* Adrian Simpson
* Quentin Willson

## Crew

### Cameramen

* Darren Cox
* Alan Duxbury
* Barrie Foster
* Keith Schofield

### Sound editors

* Andrew Chorlton
* Tim Green
* Rob Leveritt
* Andy Morton
* Benedict Peissel
* Paul Taylor

### Editors

* Mike Bloore
* Keith Brown
* Brian Watkiss

### Production team

* Kulvinder Chudge (production co-ordinator)
* Karen O'Donovan (secretary)
* Debbie Vile (production manager)
* James Woodroffe (assistant producer)

### Researchers

* Phil Churchward
* Patrick Collins

## Notes

* Vicki Butler-Henderson is credited but does not appear.
* To maintain the usual running time of twenty-two minutes, the scene where Liz Biagioni competes in the race is not included.