Japan 2016

Clockwise from left: Sensō-ji temple; Akihabara; A-Bomb Dome; main torii leading to Meiji Shrine

### Location

Japan

**Japan 2016** was a trip taken by Barbra McCauliffe and Edgar Spears on 25th-28th August 2016. The trip consisted of the duo travelling for 11 and a half hours to the South East Asian country, where they spent five days exploring the home land of Pikachu, Sailor Moon, *Zelda* and that Japanese Man Singing.

Conceived only two months prior, the trip was arguably their greatest and most ambitious outing. Many obstacles were overcome, including the language barrier and the sprawling, complicated Tokyo subway.

The holiday was mainly spent in Japan's capital Tokyo, but the two did venture to Hiroshima on what can only be described as the world's greatest train journey ever, especially in comparison to the ones the two have from Kings Cross.

Interestingly, this trip coincided with the time Our Mate had a holiday to Tokyo. Whereas Spears' and McCauliffe's holiday was amazing, Mate's was considered less than ideal due to Lääplääpläas' meddling. It also marked the first major case of Cross-Character Collaboration.

## Planning

### **Birth of the idea**

McCauliffe once sent Spears a voice clip on WhatsApp out of no where telling him her mum had suggested they go to Tokyo together. Spears was eager, so they decided it was something they would do.

The trip was organised a few months prior in the Granary tavern.

## Airport

### **Travelling to the terminal**

As Heathrow is a huge airport, they were not able to walk all the way to their terminal. They had to take the airport's subway system. Unsure about whether the train they found was the right one, they briefly talked it over. Spears resolved to step on to the train as they determined it was probably the correct one. However, McCauliffe did not manage to step on. All Spears heard was a gentle yet concerned "Harry", before turning to see the doors close and the train prepare to leave. As the train left, the pair watched each other from other sides of the carriage, immediately bursting into laughter as they watched themselves be separated from each other. Spears got off at the stop he needed to be at and then waited for McCauliffe to appear when the next train came. However, after some time he realised she was not coming and became concerned. It was then that he could just about make out McCauliffe's silhouette in the distance at the other end of the station waving frantically for his attention. The pair were reunited when they both ascended to the upper floor.

### **Flight**

McCauliffe, who is a nervous flyer, decided to calm her nerves by watching *Deadpool*. Spears decided to do the same, so that they could compare how much they laughed. The film is about two hours long. The pair giggled maybe once throughout the whole thing.

## Arriving in Tokyo

### **Pre-hotel preparations**

McCauliffe and Spears arrived at Haneda airport at around about 7am local time the following day. Bearing in mind the duo had just endured a 11 and a half hour flight, and the *Deadpool* movie, they were in no frame of mind to be counting out their yen before being allowed to enter the country.

To get from the airport to Tokyo's city centre, they needed to get a train that was a bit like a roller coaster. It was overground, and as it was so high up its track wove through the city and created a feeling of almost flying. The pair felt like they were watching the opening to an anime.

The two had to wait until 3pm before they could check into their hotel in Shinodome - the Hotel Villa Fontaine Shiodome - so they decided to get their tickets for the Shinkasen to Hiroshima. After a bit of a queue and a confusing conversation, the pair successfully bought two tickets. McCauliffe turned to Spears and said 'shall we do anything' and the response she received was something along the lines of 'I can be bothered' which McCauliffe was rather relived about.

The two headed back to their nearest station and sat down at a park bench which they had discovered earlier that had a table. At this stage it was unclear if the duo realised that this is where they would be staying until it was time to check in, but that is how it panned out. They sat under a very tall skyscraper on some outdoor chairs and tables that attracted a lot of businessmen.

What should have been a day of wonder and awe that they were in fucking Japan was mostly spent trying to keep themselves from not falling asleep in public. Spears was able to deal with this a bit better than McCauliffe, who kept dozing off only to immediately wake herself up again.

### **Hotel**

After some minor difficulty navigating the Tokyo subway - an issue that would not really get any easier for them - they made it to their hotel. The hotel was lush and had a very Western feel. It had a sweeping marble lobby and a brown and black colour palette.

The pair checked in to their room thanks to the extremely friendly Japanese staff and found their room. Petering on the verge of a coma, the pair made an effort to appreciate the room. However, it was difficult for them to escape the creeping fatigue.

By 5pm, they pair were already tucked up in bed and had drawn the curtains. They both commented on how they had recreated a nighttime setting, saying how it didn't feel like day at all. McCauliffe wanted to show to them just how *not* night it was, so she clambered over to the curtains and threw them open. They were greeted by the blinding sunlight and both shielded their faces like a pair of vampires. After some brief booting, they quickly fell asleep.

## Day two

### **Treasures of Tokyo**

McCauliffe and Spears woke up the next day unbelievably rested. They were the complete opposites of who they were yesterday, eager to carpe diem and see the Japanese metropolis. McCauliffe in flip flops and Spears in trainers, they made their way downstairs and had a hotel breakfast, which was mini sausages, scrambled eggs and pastries mixed with miso soup and rice.

After finishing their breakfast, they made another fretful journey on Tokyo's puzzling subway system. They were delighted to notice that each station appeared to have its own signature jingle. Didn't fucking help them navigate the bastard though.

They were headed for the Sensō-ji temple, an ancient Buddhist temple that is Tokyo's oldest temple and considered its most significant. On their way, they found themselves in winding backstreets that looked as if they were lifted from an anime. Small apartments clustered together trimmed with eaves and laced together with electricity pylons and cables, while small scooters cruised through. It was pretty surreal.

### **Sensō-ji temple**

The pair arrived at a promenade flanked by stalls selling goods that lead to the historic temple. It was here that McCauliffe told Spears she intended to purchase a pair of traditional Japanese wooden sandals on this trip, and even considered buying her dad a Kabuki mask. Spears was very drawn to an umbrella in the style of a samurai sword and knew that he had to buy it.

They made their way to the temple and marvelled at its splendour. As they were admiring it, a group of very polite young men asked Spears to take a picture of the group posing in front of it, to which Spears obliged because how could he not when they were that bloody polite. This would become a common observation throughout the trip. They went as far as they could go inside the temple, but there was an interior where the public were not allowed to enter. Behind a mesh partition was a shrine with a statue of Buddha.

Although they were grateful for the beautiful sunny weather, it became overwhelming at times and the duo desperately needed a moment of respite. They found shelter under a gazebo made of bamboo with flora and foliage woven throughout the lattice design. When they were seated, they began to notice that the gazebo was emitted a refreshing spray of cold water, providing much needed coolness. Once again, they were impressed by Japan's simple yet innovative thinking.

After their rest, they ventured further into the temple's gardens. Green flora was abundant, all nourished by a trickling stream that wove its way under traditional Japanese bridges and huts. The garden contained several statues of deities nestled in its bushes and plants. As the pair were observing the many relics and statues, a girl approached one and started clapping loudly at one before bowing. She repeated this ritual several times, and then swiftly moved on to do it to another one. She may have been praying for Spears' sinful gay soul, but it's a shame she didn't clap these cheeks instead of her hands.

On their way to their next planned location, they stopped off not for a few pints on the way home but for a cold drink as the heat was beginning to get to them. They found a small convenience shop where they discovered another Japanese innovation: cups filled with ice cubes that you could put whatever drink you wanted to in it. When Spears went to buy one, the friendly staff gestured at the till that displayed the price. However, Spears mistakenly thought they were trying to suggest he buy something else. Spears responded by shaking his head and saying 'no' in Japanese, which I'm sure must have left them a bit perplexed. Fortunately, this didn't cause too much of a commotion and Spears was quickly on his merry way.

### **Ueno Zoo**

Their next location was Ueno Zoo in the special ward of Taitō, which is Tokyo's oldest and largest zoo. Spears and McCauliffe were surprised at how cheap the price of entry was, considering the eclectic range of animals they kept there.

Spears and McCauliffe were very excited to see the animals, especially the pandas. They found their enclosure, and were amused to see them sitting at tables as if they were human beings. They also saw polar bears, elephants, lions and a colourful array of birds.

It was in this zoo that the WHOOPEE DOO joke was born. The pair had come across a warning sign forbidding members of the public from stepping into any of the enclosures. However, the sign they used to represent a person was taking a comically long step. For some reason, this led the pair to associate the WHOOPEE DOO sample from "I Wan'na Be like You", a song from Walt Disney's 1967 film *The Jungle Book*, with the sign. Unfortunately, neither of them thought to take a picture of the sign and the regret they feel over this mishap haunts them to this day.

The pair entered a reptile house, which was probably very good. However, by this stage they both felt they needed to move on and see more of Tokyo. They both agreed to "skedaddle", and sat outside the zoo admiring the Tokyo streets. McCauliffe became convinced the crows in Japan had a deeper caw than British ones.

### **Akihabara**

Locating their next destination, Akihabara, became a bit of a task. They believed a certain major street they were on would lead them to the iconic shopping square, but no matter where they walked they could not seem to find it. Eventually, they resigned to taking the labyrinthine subway.

It was on these subways that they noticed advertisements for the anime *Your Name*, an anime they would later go and see in the cinema in Leicester.

As the sun was almost setting, they found Akihabara. As they stepped out, they were met with neon lights, towering buildings lavished with manga characters and a busy, bustling atmosphere. Upon seeing this, Spears said "now *this* is the Japan I imagined". Eager to explore, they went inside as many shops and arcades that they could.

One shop they went into was a gaming shop that was selling new and classic *Pokémon* cards in their original Japanese. These were irresistible to Spears and McCauliffe, so they both bought some. They also visited an arcade that had numerous floors, and generally just explored the entire incredible area.

They chose to stop and eat at a KFC. Expecting to have a difficult conversation trying to communicate in English, the pair were surprised when the man who served them spoke fluent English. He even helped them translate the menu, and they were rewarded with a delicious bucket of classic recipe chicken.

When they left KFC it was night, and Akihabara was truly alive. The streets were illuminated in the neon glow of the numerous signs and the streets were even more packed than before.

### **Evening up Tokyo Skytree**

The duo's final stop of the day was to go up the Skytree, the world's tallest tower and the world's second tallest structure. As they were queuing up to go in, they were touched to notice that in queues in Japan there are benches reserved for the elderly so they can sit down while they queue.

When they finally got to the counter to purchase their ticket, Spears had some kind of brain queef and completely forgot how to count yen. Fortunately, as usual, the staff were very sweet and helped him sort which money he needed to give.

They ascended the tower in a lift that was illuminated purple and was see-through, which was all very exciting. When they stepped out of the lift, they were met by a stunning view of Tokyo stretched out to the horizon, lit by streetlights and neon signs that from above looked like twinkling Christmas lights.

The Skytree did offer you the chance to ascend even higher, which the pair decided to go ahead and do. The observation deck was very open and pleasant, and the two vowed that they should see the view during the day as well.

As they made their way home, McCauliffe could not hold her tongue any longer and had to admit that her feet were in agony. During a visit to a nearby (not to be confused with Nearbai) convenience shop, she expressed regret at choosing to wear flip flops on a day that would involve a great deal of walking instead of trainers or boots.

## Day three

### **Second Skytree visit**

Following the plan they had decided the day before, McCauliffe and Spears went to the Skytree again. This time, they wanted to see Tokyo from above during the day. McCauliffe made the decision to wear a pair of more practical shoes, instead of the excruciating flip flops she wore the day before.

Once again, the queue was very long. However, it was worth it to see the spectacular view at a different time of day. They also chose to visit both observation decks once again.

The pair then went to a shopping area where Spears bought an ice cream and it was delicious. They also went to a shop that sold traditional Japanese fans. Spears took a photo of them, but the shopkeeper hurried over and told him photography was forbidden.

They spent the remainder of their time there looking out a window that faced a river. They noticed that fish were literally leaping out of the water.

### **Ikebukuro**

Their next destination was Ikebukuro, Toshima. They hopped on to the subway and made their way there. Once they got to the station, they were greeted by large cut-out manga characters hanging from the ceiling.

Spears observed that almost all the films being advertised throughout the area were Japanese, which he appreciated. Similar to Akihabara, the area was adorned with neon signs and characterful advertising boards.

After seeing the sights, the pair made their way to Sunshine City, a large shopping centre that housed *Pokémon Center Mega Tokyo*, a shop dedicated to *Pokemon* merchandise. This obviously excited the two very much.

Met by a large Charizard by the entrance, they explored the large shop. However, they couldn't deny that they were slightly disappointed that the shop seemed to focus more on the newer Pokemon and less on the era of Pokemon that defined their childhood. Nonetheless, it was cute.

### **Shinjuku**

#### **Robot Restaurant**

As day turned to night, the duo travelled to the bustling cultural hub that is Shinjuku as they had a date at the Robot Restaurant.

When they got to the themed restaurant, they were highly amused by the busty female figurines guarding the main entrance. They were let in with a group of other (mainly white) people and ushered into a room that looked both naff and expensive. The floor and walls were made of panels of glass, creating the feeling one was inside a huge disco ball. The chairs were in gold and had soft, printed upholstery.

Before the performance, they were 'entertained' by a man in a silver suit playing the guitar. A loud man who looked like a caricature of an oil tycoon was cheering and bellowing with his group of people. McCauliffe and Spears, however, silently prayed that there wasn't going to be any audience interaction.

Finally, everyone was taken into the actual seating area where they would be watching the show. The seating was made up of rows of benches cordoned off from the stage with rope and chains. McCauliffe and Spears somehow ended up in the front row. This was either a blessing or a curse. A very handsome waiter was serving the pair's section of the seating, and Spears fell very hard for him.

As darkness fell, everyone present was regaled with a story of a peaceful, pastoral fantasy land (lol) that was suddenly invaded by an army of evil robots who wanted to take over this land. What came next was the very camp tale of how this invasion played out.

Pitting the natives of the land against the evil robots and many other nefarious characters such as a dragon, neon ninjas and a giant lobster, the show was certainly a spectacle. There was no skimping on loud noises, vibrant colours and pyrotechnics. McCauliffe and Spears really weren't sure what they'd got themselves into. I don't think it's entirely made clear how exactly the natives managed to defeat the invaders, but it was somehow achieved with carnival dancers and a boxing panda.

When the performance was over, everyone was lead out of the restaurant up a staircase that looked a little bit like one of those fun houses you get at funfair. McCauliffe and Spears left feeling a bit dizzy, unsure what to say about what they had just witnessed.

#### **Hitting the streets**

After the restaurant venture, the pair explored more of the area of Shinjuku. There was an area that had an extremely tall tower that the pair soon realised was a cinema. In fact, perched on top of the roof was a Godzilla looming over pedestrians. They also found several rabbit cafes, Spider-Man on one of the walls and a lighter on the floor that simply said 'COCK'.

### **Back to the hotel**

After they had seen what they came to see, they decided to head back to the hotel. However, as was usual, the confusing subway particularly difficult. McCauliffe said 'for crying out fucking loud' at one stage, frustrated about the situation and also probably about her aching feet.

They finally reached the hotel and got into bed, ready for another bewildering but exciting in the capital of Japan.

## Day four - Hiroshima

### **Shinkansen**

For this day, McCauliffe and Spears planned to leave Tokyo and visit Hiroshima, a city famous for being the first city in the world to be targeted by a nuclear weapon, causing untold and lasting devastation. They had planned to use the Shinkansen (commonly known in English as a 'bullet train') which is a landmark in itself. When the train pulled up, the pair were in awe of its sleek beauty and could not wait to get on.

When they boarded, they immediately noticed how spacious the carriages were. The seating allowed plenty of room for leg space, and it wasn't even massively busy which was a huge bonus. The staff, as is commonplace in Japan, were extremely courteous. Every time one of the attendants left a room, they would politely bow and then depart.

The train journey showed them just how big a city Tokyo is, as it took them over half an hour to see a single tree. However, as the train soared through the Japanese countryside, the pair were absolutely spoilt. Green rolling hills and mountains, small villages nestled in ancient woodland and even remnants of old temples peppered the landscape.

What would have probably taken a day in the UK, the journey from Tokyo to Hiroshima only took five hours.

### **Getting their bearings**

Upon arrival, it became very apparent to the pair that Hiroshima was no longer the ruined city it had been in the 1940s. Like many other Japanese cities, it had tall buildings lining its thoroughfares illuminated by neon signs.

#### **Old lady**

As they left the train station, they struggled to find central Hiroshima. They happened on an elderly lady who was on her push bike. She must have noticed their distress, so she came over and tried to communicate with the pair with her limited English.

As she lead them through the city, she wheeled her push bike along with her. She was utterly fucking adorable. She lead them to a busy road, telling them a bit about herself and the city. Spears did wonder if she was actually part of the mafia and had plans to abduct them.

Despite how bloody charming and sweet she was, she didn't really take the pair to the correct place. They had to resort to exploring the city themselves.

#### **McDonald's**

Although they were on the complete other side of the world, the pair still had a hankering for food that was more familiar to them.

They found a shopping centre where they saw a McDonald's. Feeling particularly tired from their struggle to find where to go, they had got peckish and McDonald's was a welcome site to them.

The pair noticed that this McDonald's had variations of the classics they were used to. Spears tried a national speciality, while McCauliffe had a classic double cheeseburger.

#### **Taxi incident**

After finishing their McDonald's, they were eager to see the sites most famous in Hiroshima. They walked around for some time more, struggling to pinpoint where exactly they were. After some time, they gave up looking and elected to get a taxi there instead.

The taxi was a difficult interaction. After finally hailing one down, they explained to the taxi driver where they wished to go. He responded with theatrical astonishment, guffawed and asked in limited English why they were getting a taxi to somewhere so near. McCauliffe and Spears didn't really care that it was nearby (not to be confused with Nearbai), but the taxi driver laughed again, rolled up his window and then drove off.

### **Locating the landmarks**

After some exploring, they found the area they wanted to be. As their path aligned with the river, they came across the iconic A-Bomb building, the shell of a building that survived the 1945 nuclear bombing. They simply had no option but to have a look at the historic monument.

By the building was a plaque that read:

> *The A-bomb Dome is the ruins of the former Hiroshima Prefecture Industrial Promotion Hall which was destroyed by the first atomic bomb ever to be used in the history of humankind on August 6, 1945. The atomic bomb was detonated in the air at an altitude of approximately 600 metres almost right over the hall. The explosion by a single bomb claimed the lives of over 200,000 people and the city area of about 2-km radius was turned to ashes. In order to have this tragic fact known to succeeding generations and to make it a lesson for humankind, the reinforcement work of the ruins has been done by the contributions of many people who desire peace within and out of the country. The ruins shall be preserved forever.*
>
>

They then rested by a fountain nearby (not to be confused with Nearbai), and then visited the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum. The museum was well received by McCauliffe and Spears, who lauded its vast collection of artefacts and its detailed and thorough explanation of Hiroshima and the effects of the bombing.

Stand out pieces of the museum included a fragment of a child's school uniform, a wall taken from a building that, during the bombing, had permanently been stained with the mark of a victim's shadow and a model of the city with a sphere representing the scope the bomb's destruction encompassed.

After the museum, they had a walk around a public garden where they found a monument that served as a tribute to a Scottish general who brought materials from Scotland to Japan. They then made their way to the embankment and McCauliffe dipped her (probably aching) toes into the river. McCauliffe revealed that she was wearing a pair of Ford themed socks that had a 'White van man' slogan. Jokes were made about the river potentially still being radioactive.

### **Heading back to Tokyo**

In the Hiroshima train station, Spears encountered a stall that was selling biscuits in a tin. When he approached the lady at the counter and asked her "英語を話せますか/Eigo o hanasemasu ka (*Do you speak English*)?". The lady said she didn't, but Spears failed to recognise this and started mouthing off in English. McCauliffe had to step in and tell him she had said no. Eventually, Spears managed to indicate which tin of biscuits he wanted and then purchased them.

When they arrived back in Tokyo, the pair spent the evening trying to locate the Rainbow Bridge (レインボーブリッジ, *Reinbō Burijji*). They found it, but were disappointed to see it wasn't lit in rainbow colours but just one greenish colour. On reflection, this was most definitely homophobic.

After this unfortunate visit, they returned to the hotel and probably ate noodles from the corner shop that they were want to visit by their hotel.

## Day five

### **Revisiting the sites**

For their fifth and final full day in Japan, the pair decided to revisit some places they felt they hadn't fully had the chance to explore.

Their first destination was Sensō-ji temple and the area surrounding it so they could look at more of the stalls and the places around it. This was the first day they weren't under blistering heat as the day was slightly greyer. They found an interesting sculpture of a pump, which McCauliffe probably got a boner over due to her unusual relationship with the Pump.

They explored more of the wider streets and were surprised to see some sort of demonstration that involved a military-looking guy in a military-style vehicle. He was carrying and waving the Japanese flag. There was then a surge of people dressed in red on the opposite side of the street, which was also never explained.

### **Harajuku**

Their next stop was the region of Harajuku, where they looked around more shops and sights. They were there as they were going to the Owl Village Cafe later. However, before they went there they visited an American-style diner that sold milkshakes and ice creams and had American staff.

The entertainment they had put on was a young Japanese girl in a Lolita-style dress squawking her way through a J-Pop song on karaoke. From memory, they both had a cookie flavoured milkshake.

#### **Owl Village Cafe**

It was time to visit the owls, so they made their way to the area. However, it took them some time to find out where the place actually was. They went down a back alley where they marvelled at some of the architectural styles of the houses.

While there, they saw a young woman who appeared to be on a cigarette break. They asked if she spoke English, and she told them she did but not very well. McCauliffe and Spears tried to be clear that they were looking for the owl-themed cafe. She gave them incorrect directions, and when they left they ended up walking awkwardly past her again.

Eventually the found the cafe, that was actually on the third floor of some block of flats. They packed themselves into a very small lift, and as they ascended for some reason a song by Pet Shop Boys came into their heads.

They went inside the cafe, and were told they had to wait until the previous visitors had finished their slot. As they waited, they were offered deals. Basically, they ended up paying for some water and 15 minutes with the owls.