The Scout

"**The Scout**" is the tenth episode and the Season 1 and series finale of *Hoops*.

## Plot

A scout from a prep school powerhouse comes to Lenwood in hopes of recruiting Matty, but Coach isn't about to let his star player go without a fight.

## Summary

Hopkins shouts to a group of young schoolchildren outside his window that he just had sex with his wife. He walks through his neighborhood, spreading the news, and taking a high-five from his trashman. He gets coffee and finally breaks his leg trying to participate in a schoolyard basketball game.

The Lenwood Colts have a charge called against them and a haggard-looking Ron goes off on Jeremy the referee with a tirade one would expect from Hopkins, but never from him. Rather than getting upset, Jeremy asks him if everything is alright, and he replies that love is fickle and will break your heart. Hopkins asks if something happened and he tells him that Shannon left him. Hopkins replies that it's unexpected and terrible for him. He tells him to get out and clean himself up. Ron thanks him, saying he's the only one who really cares about him. He calls a time-out and Matty thanks him for the time-out at the critical moment.

Hopkins tells the team to forget about basketball, that they've been talking about it all season. More importantly, Shannon broke up with Ron, so he's "golden." He calls it better than the day he took a selfie with Vin Diesel at King's Island. Matty says they told him many times it's not Vin Diesel. Matty asks if there's something he can say that might inspire them. Hopkins replies that he had sex with his wife and Matty says that the garbageman told him. The team loses and Hopkins is met outside by a man wearing a suit. He takes a text from Shannon asking to have him over for dinner. He walks off without even asking about what the man wants. That evening, he has dinner with Shannon at Barry Hopkins Steakhouse, saying that she could move in with him at Kirk's, but it's probably better if he moves back to their place. When she starts to talk, he covers her mouth, saying he's a much better listener and they should get a dog. She tells him she got a dog six years ago. She tells him she can't do it, that it was a huge mistake to sleep with him. He tries to laugh it off, saying that the cake that says "Baby Back Together" and the kids from the football team behind him with a "Final Baby Back..." banner are just a coincidence.

Principal Opal comes over to Shannon's, saying she must be a mess with two breakups in one week. Shannon tells her that she feels really good one hand, but on the other, she feels really guilty about how she feels. Opal tells her that she's had a lot of time to read self-help books on the toilet. She starts a big bonfire, saying to put anything she has of either Ben or Ron's onto it. She says she started with Ron's iPad, and Shannon protests that it was her iPad. Back at Lenwood, Hopkins is now sporting a stubble as well and mumbling about life being meaningless. Ron is trying to drown himself in the shower. Then the guy from before shows up, introducing himself as Coach Lamonte from Henderson Prep. Hopkins thinks he's being offered a job, but Lamonte tells him he's there for Matty. Hopkins joins Ron in the shower.

Hopkins addresses the team and specifically Matty, telling him that he needs him. The team-members tell him they're a family and he tells them to relax, that he doesn't even want to go to Henderson Prep. He says that he's happy there and that all his friends are there. He says it's a good thing that the prep school coach talked to Hopkins and not his mom, who's always dreamed off him going away to a private school, but she can't afford it. Hopkins says that if that happened, they'd have to "take care" of his mom, but Matty says he can't murder his mom. Hopkins agrees there's too many squealers on the team for that. They need to head Lamonte off at the pass, but keeping him from talking to Matty's mom. So when Lamonte gets there, the hooker Connie poses as Matty's mother, Ms. Atkins. Smoking a cigarette, she tells Lamonte that Henderson Prep is the wrong place for her son. The team watches from a hidden camera. As Connie talks about regretting going down a lot of things, Hopkins asks whose idea it was to hire a prostitute to play Matty's mom before remembering it was his. Connie sobs that she can't part with Matty as Lamonte lays out that Henderson Prep is a top-tier school. As Lamonte talks about children ending up on the streets, Connie replies that there's a lot of money to be made on the streets and Hopkins grumbles that he needs a female friend who isn't a hooker.

Lamonte tells Connie that he's offering a great opportunity for her son and Connie is somehow moved, saying that Henderson Prep is a great opportunity for her son. She agrees to the deal. Hopkins is shocked and runs to Lamonte, revealing the scheme. He says Matty is his best player and he can't let him take him away. He'll lose his job and he just lost his wife and dog. Lamonte suggests that Hopkins help convince Matty, saying that if he does, there might be an assistant coach position in it for him. Hopkins imagines it, saying he can already see it, that Shannon will be so jealous. Hopkins asks what he sees in him, and Lamonte replies that it's that he has access to a seven-footer. Hopkins fishes for compliments and Lamonte says that he can shout a lot without losing his voice. Hopkins goes to the team, saying that Matty should consider going to Henderson Prep. Connie hugs Matty - "my son, a prep school boy." Isaac asks if he's kidding and he says that he is, that he just wanted to have a laugh with them. He says that they should all talk about where their moms work and call it a day.

Hopkins to visit Matty's mother, Crystal Atkins, at an antique shop. He says he was just there shopping. She says she knows who he is, and thanks him for putting Matty on the team. She says it's done wonders for his self-esteem. They talk about her vagina and he tells her that Matty is being scouted for a full ride, room and board. She says she'd love him to go, that she's been a single mom his whole life. She starts talking about working two jobs, and he calls it boring. He says that if Matty asks, they never had this conversation. At Barry Hopkins Steakhouse, Opal tells Shannon that she's ready for step three, to get back out there. Shannon is not into it, suggesting they get a "scorpion bowl," but Opal insists she pick someone. They get into an argument, with Shannon saying she's being like Ron or Ben. Opal ends up leaving, saying she hopes Shannon chokes on an umbrella. Matty meets with a shirtless Hopkins, telling him that his mother told him he has to go to Henderson Prep. Hopkins pretends to be upset and Matty says he feels like he was just getting started and making friends. Hopkins says that he could come with him, pull some strings, and then Matty won't have to be alone. Matty is surprised Hopkins would do that for him, but he says they're family.

Shannon meets Opal with a peace offering of food, saying she feels bad about how things went the other night, that Opal was just trying to help. Opal, however, says that she thought about it and Shannon was right and she made the whole thing about her. Opal gives her a scorpion bowl. They hear an announcement over the PA, ordering everyone to the gym for an emergency assembly. He says they all have to get to the gym no matter what they're doing or they'll be expelled. Upon their arrival, he tells them that it's time for him to move on. He tells them that Hopkins won't be home to clean up their messes anymore. He goes off on a tangent about Shannon and says that he's finally getting out of that dump. He plays "The Star-Spangled Banner" and hangs up his jacket, only to realize he left his keys in it. He tells everyone to look away as he lowers the jacket, that it didn't happen. Then he finds they're not in there, that he had them in his pants pocket all along. He raises the jacket again, tells them off, and leaves.

He dons the uniform of Henderson Prep, does donuts in the school parking lot and drives away, middle-finger raised. He flips off the DAWA, Matty's girlfriend Wendy, the religious kid from before, the delivery guy Kyle G., the Chin twins and Gunnar. Finally, he pulls up at the Barry Hopkins Steakhouse and flips off his father, Barry. He asks what changed, that they were good a few days ago, but Hopkins says that he's no longer Barry's son, Barry is his father. Opal and Shannon agree that they can't believe Hopkins is gone, and Shannon says she's finally happy. Ron says it's his team now, only to find the gym empty. Hopkins encounters the team-members, sans Matty, blocking the road. They're mad at him for trying to leave wihtout saying goodbye. They say he and Matty can't leave, that they're a family. Hopkins says it's not goodbye, just so long for now, but tells them he has presents to remember them by. He opens his trunk, giving Timebomb an old *Auto Trader* magazine, Marcus a spare tire, Isaac a tire jack, Scott a wrench, and DJ a pocketknife. He tells them it's as hard for him as it is for them. He says they believed in him from the start and they're his best friends. "Thanks, losers," he says, "and see ya' when I see ya'," driving away. They all agree about what an awful person he is.

Matty boards Hopkins's car, Hopkins thwarted by a broken disc player in his attempts to play music. He drives off and gets a flat tire. He kicks the car, lamenting that he gave his spare tire to Marcus. He goes off an a tangent about *Little Man Tate* as birds fly overhead.

## Cast and characters

Starring:

* Jake Johnson as Coach Ben Hopkins
* Ron Funches as Ron
* Cleo King as Principal Opal Lowry
* Natasha Leggero as Shannon
* A.D. Miles as Matty
* Rob Riggle as Barry Hopkins

Also Starring:

* Steve Berg as DJ
* W. Earl Brown
* Ben Hoffman as Timebomb
* Mary Holland
* Gil Ozeri as Isaac
* Sam Richardson as Marcus
* Nick Swardson as Scott

## Navigation

* 1.01 The Pilot
* 1.02 My Two Dads
* 1.03 Ethics
* 1.04 The Sponsor
* 1.05 Matty Gets a Girlfriend
* 1.06 Zen
* 1.07 The Strike
* 1.08 Death
* 1.09 The Road Game
* 1.10 **The Scout**

## External links

* The Scout on the Internet Movie Database