Writing Prompts Archive/3/Akiyu Sinnoe

*Another kill order dealt with… another thrill had, another small fortune earned. Another time she proved her might to herself on the narrow line between victory and death. An agreeable week, all in all, and as good a time as any to allow herself some respite. That was one of the things Akiyu had learned over the years: Some rest, even for someone as chronically restless as her, could be very healthy and even enjoyable now and again. You need downtime to make the uptime exciting, life needs highs and lows, a responsible person gets enough rest, variety is the spice of life… all that stuff people liked to say.*

*Well, ultimately… yes, there was truth to those silly proverbs. One of those things she learned to accept as she grew from a reckless child into a somewhat less reckless adult. Especially now, of course - that’s what she thought to herself as she entered her estate. Gave the employees in the ground floor living room the usual nod and headed downstairs to the work area.*

*“The usual checkup”, she told the blonde Mi’qote and her Elezen colleague without stopping as she dropped her rapier on the workbench and headed over to the bathroom. “Might’ve chipped it. Get that sorted ASAP. Will toss you the body gear later too.”*

*… yeah, especially now. Now that she actually had a very viable reason for taking regular time off from her frantic, never-ending hunt after the next life-threatening challenge. Really, it still felt somewhat unreal how she could be so… infatuated with that woman. That “cutie”. For what it was worth, Twelve knew she was neither immature enough to be unreasonably head over heels, nor traumatized enough to…*

*“... hm.”*

*Akiyu closed the door to the bathroom, and got to taking off her gear. The gloves, the coat... boots, pants, shirt, the protective undershirt, and lastly the underwear and blindfold. Same routine as always… though it did pass slower than usual, for the Xaela was lost in thought, even still as she turned the shower on. And even still as she turned it off, wrapped a towel around herself and walked over into her small bedroom to get dressed.*

*It was not the drawers with her clothes her hand went to, though. No, it was another drawer… one whose handle had a slightly thicker layer of dust on it than the other ones. A hesitant motion was it with which she opened that drawer… and even more hesitantly did she pick up the only object inside.*

*And it was… a wrinkly old piece of paper. One with two faces drawn on it - not a master artist’s work, no. Drawn with just a pencil. But pretty good, all in all. One face was that of a much younger Akiyu. And the other… was hers.*

*… for fuck’s sake.*

*With a sigh, she put it back down into its drawer and set about getting dressed. After all, she was on a bit of a tight schedule if she wanted to be on time to meet… her.*

*Halfway dressed, Akiyu paused. Glimpsed into the still open drawer to once more spy the piece of paper… the drawing. Her drawing.*

*“... would you be happy for me?” Of course there was no one else with her in the bedroom. And of course the piece of paper could neither hear nor speak. But still she picked it back up, holding it close as she spoke quietly to ears that could no longer hear. “Knowing you…”*

*Akiyu chuckled to herself in a tone somewhere between nostalgia, fondness and bitterness. Yeah, knowing her, she’d probably think it’s funny. Would probably tease her… she did always love doing that. She’d throw one look at her face, and surely have a good chuckle right away. Yeah… at that face that filled her with such mixed feelings. That face that made her feel like she was staring at the past… all the while challenging her to lay that past to rest.*

*“... I told her about you. I… told someone. Told her, it...” She took a bit of a breath. “It felt… good, but I… still didn’t cry. Is that weird…?”*

*Her fingers’ grip on the piece of paper tightened. As did her throat. The corners of her mouth trembled, and a flinch ran through her cheek as she could feel a knot relentlessly tightening itself in her chest. She knew. Akiyu knew she wasn’t doing anything wrong.*

*I love you.*

*She knew she didn’t do anything wrong when her heart skipped a beat.*

*I’m not betraying you.*

*She knew she didn’t do anything wrong when she kissed her.*

*… I’m not betraying you.*

*She knew she didn’t do anything wrong when she slept with her.*

*… please say I’m not betraying you.*

*Akiyu shook her head. Breathe. In… and out. In… out. Reining in her spiraling thoughts and feelings, she gripped the piece of paper with both hands… and held it to her heart.*

*“... will you forgive me if I… love her too…?”*

*Geez. There she was, behind her schedule. Great. Making her wait because of her sentimental brooding. Quickly slipping into the sleeveless jacket, she adjusted the position of her blindfold… and, one more time, turned to the dresser. To the piece of paper still lying on top of it. She picked it up to put it back down in the drawer… but paused one more time. A quiet second passed… before the smallest of smiles rose to her lips.*

*“... maybe I’ll take her to y-your… to see you.” Once more Akiyu quietly whispered to those ears that had long since stopped hearing… received no answer from that mouth that had long since stopped speaking. Stopped smiling, stopped laughing… just one more time… please, oh please… just let me hear her laugh one more time. Just one more time...*

*“Just… don’t be too surprised.” She placed a light kiss on the piece of paper, and carefully set it back down in its place in the drawer.*

*“You have the same face.”*