14/01/2020 - Blagden's Bailout, Bamboozling Brainteasers and Buried Blockages

*We resume our story as Bayul, Khrom and Kunai arrive at the guard house to retrieve the wayward rogue...*

## TL;DR

* Khrom used his skills as a lawyer to bust Blagden the Goblin out of jail and Kunai took jail keys without being caught
* They ventured to the wizard's tower and solved puzzles inside to get to the top where they met Master Quayl the wizard
* He told them he was missing supplies from the mine to make their items and they offered to sort out the problem
* The rest of the party arrived and the manager of the mine (Fargrim) let them down into the mine
* They cleared out a large group of troglodytes who had damaged the dam inside the mine

## The Guardhouse

Heading straight into the building, the three encountered a guard and Bayul immediately informed him that they were there to collect the goblin thief. The guard told them he was in for questioning and couldn’t be seen by anyone except his lawyer. Bayul decided that his and Kunai's persuasion skills were probably not up to the part and, given Khrom’s renown as a man of the watch himself and extensive experience as a negotiator so far, he would have the best chance. “He’s the lawyer” said Bayul, gesturing to a very taken-aback Khrom (who had assumed he was banned from negotiating duties). As he was whisked away from the foyer, the other two scoped out the room they were in. Kunai noticed a set of keys behind the front counter, and Bayul made sure to watch where Khrom was taken and saw him led just down the corridor and into another room.

Inside this small room, Khrom found a half elf dressed in the garb of a guard captain, looking sternly across the central table at a small goblin in handcuffs. The goblin, clearly unimpressed with his big bushy barrister, immediately exclaimed “They sent you?! Idiots?!”. After establishing Khrom's impeccable credentials, the captain made to continue the questioning. Never being one to complain, Khrom politely sat on a chair that was quite clearly not designed with bugbears in mind. Everyone pointedly ignored its creaking as Blagden recounted his version of the events of the previous night (his voice going from high-pitched and irritating to deep and suave):

**\*Enter random film noir-style flashback\***

It was a bad week in a bad month; maybe even a bad year. The Ilbidor Times was calling it the worst crime spike the city had ever seen. I’d just stopped off at the Lucky Sailor and ordered something strong; something I won’t order there again when in walked the bar maid—staring intently at me. I enquired after her name 'Diana' she said in a voice so husky it could pull a dog sled.... she was my kinda dame: breathing.

I sat down with Ratty and began quaffing my ale, I didn’t get chance to savour the taste though as that was when the trouble started. A cry went out like a wolf in the night, a drunkard howling about their stolen money. No suspects as of yet. “Just great,” I thought out loud. My keen instinct warned me it was an inside job. No sign of struggle. The man probably never knew what hit ’em. Allegedly, the deed was done just a few minutes ago. Panic spread across the room like wild fire as more realised they too had been separated from their coin, it was at that point I decided to sneak out. Too many goblins had been killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but not me, I decided to leave before the accusations came flying at me like bricks at a window.

I stepped out into a dark night—maybe normal for this time of year, but today Ilbidor felt even darker and more sinister. It was raining; the kind of rain you’d hope would clean the filth right off the streets. “They lost it…?” Ratty whispered quietly. “Eh … No, they didn’t lose it” I groused.

“A thief …?” Ratty whispered timidly. “Wow, No… I don’t know much, but I know it’s definitely not just a thief.” I snapped. The Lucky Sailor seems to attract a worse class each night but this job was flawless, far beyond the talents of an ordinary thief. “Listen, Ratty,” I sighed, “Why don’t I handle this, while you make like a donkey and haul ass out of site?”

I headed over to the Pink Pony, no one would trouble me there, I paid my entrance and took a booth to one side. I settled in for the night, drink in one hand and chicken in the other, waiting for the trouble to blow over. It was then he appeared. He walked on stage like a tigress walks into a Burmese orphanage — muscles gleaming and legs for days. No performer his age could afford nipple tassels like that, and the kinda makeup he had on gave me a good idea how he got it. He had bad news written on him like Deadwinter day. I settled in for the night, perhaps my luck was changing.

**\*End flashback\***

Khrom then demanded to know the exact charges on his ‘client’. The captain laid them out clearly - he was accused of the theft of approximately 25 gold pieces from the good townspeople frequenting multiple establishments; the one by the docks and the Pink Pony. He had been seen acting suspiciously in both taverns and fled the scene when people discovered that they were missing coins. Blagden demanded to know if he had actually been seen taking any coins, to which the captain hesitantly acknowledged he had not.

After a few minutes of discussion, the captain left the room to gather evidence and allow the two to discuss their strategy in private. During this time, Blagden recounted a somewhat different tale to Khrom. He spoke of the ‘invisible wizard’ who he saw stealing people’s coins. Quite rightly, Khrom asked how he saw the wizard in the first place. Apparently it was because Blagden is ‘really clever’.

When the guard captain returned, Blagden accused the guards of taking him in without any solid evidence and therefore that they were racist against goblins. Again he demanded to know on what grounds they had actually brought him in. He told the other tale to the captain, this time of the ‘invisible wizard’. He insisted that the 'invisible wizard' was stealing everyone’s money and he, being clever, noticed this. To set the wrongs right, he murdered the wizard and was about to return the coins when everyone unfairly chased him out. Asked if he was now confessing to murder, Blagden vehemently denied killing anyone and told yet another version of the story. Distracting from this slight plot-hole, Blagden nudged Khrom to ask if the people of the tavern a.k.a the witnesses, were under the influence of alcohol. They were indeed, as the captain begrudgingly attested.

Meanwhile, in the guardhouse foyer, Bayul started to feel restless, possibly regretting his rash decision to send Khrom in alone. Ignoring the low barrier, he started towards the door that he saw Khrom enter while guards scrambled after him. As they were distracted by the stubborn Loxodon, Kunai leant over the counter and deftly snatched the set of keys he previously clocked. While Bayul was wrestled back by many guards, the interrogation continued.

Though Khrom knew he had to get the rogue out, he was nonetheless a bugbear of great principle and even he knew that 'invisible wizards' had better things to do than steal a few coins. Getting very suspicious vibes from Blagden, he admitted as much to the captain, but appealed to him as a fellow man of the law. He unveiled his own Insignia of Rank, showing his respectable military experience, at which point the captain visibly relaxed. Khrom argued that without evidence it would be difficult to convict Blagden and that he would gladly watch over him instead. He gave his word that, should the goblin cause anymore trouble he would bring him back immediately. To this the captain finally relented and they were allowed to leave. The others watched as Khrom emerged from the doorway bearing the squirming goblin in his giant hand-paws.

## **Journey to the Wizard’s Tower**

As they left the guardhouse, Blagden got his trusty ally Ratty to get him out of the clutches of the bugbear by aggressively crawling all over him. With everyone on their own two feet (four for Ratty), the group decided to make for the mage tower. However, they got about 20 paces before they heard shouting from behind. “Hey you lot, stop there!”. Five or six guards emerged from the guardhouse and revealed that the keys were missing from the counter, and that they were the only ones who’d been in. Despite objections from the group, the guards insisted on searching everyone. Blagden and Khrom were searched thoroughly and found to be clean. While Bayul was searched, and the guards got particularly engrossed in his unusual anatomy (to which he was deeply unimpressed), Kunai got the attention of Blagden. In thieves’ cant, he told him to pick his pocket. Blagden was so keen. Using an invisible mage hand he sneakily pulled the keys from Kunai's pocket and, using Kunai's body as cover, lowered them into the grass. Kunai then offered himself for a search, which obviously drew a blank. Unsatisfied but able to do no more, the guards chuntered as they went back to their barracks, and the group continued on (though not before Blagden tossed the keys back into the expecting hands of Kunai.

It took almost an hour for the motley crew to make their way over to the wizard’s tower in the North-East of Ilbidor. As they got closer, it began to loom over them and they were able to make out more detail. Very few windows dotted the unblemished grey stone exterior of the tower as it rose up and up into the sky, whence a large spike emerged from each of the four corners. Directly before the group lay a bridge leading to the foot of the tower and a small and unassuming wooden front door. They also saw a mysterious script along the bridge, but as it wasn’t in common, thieves cant or Loxodon they were quite screwed. Ratty the intrepid was first to cross the bridge at Blagden’s orders, and when he was fine and Kunai found no traps they all started across. At one point Blagden’s foot began to sink a little into the stone, but he stumbled on and made it over.

## **Navigating the Tower**

A polite knock from Khrom followed up by a powerful knock from Bayul caused the door to swing open surprisingly easily, and they entered the mage’s tower. They found a large room with a checkered marble floor, empty except for some nice flowers and floating lights, and a door at each of the 4 corners. Blagden darted across to the left, causing the floating lights to turn orange, before eagerly investigating the flowers around the room, finding that they were very fresh. The others explored the behaviour of the lights, which went to orange, green and yellow depending on the door. Bayul, knowing green = good, took the central door and the others followed.

They went up the spiral staircase, which took ages, through the door at the top (again easily swinging open), and into a very large room that had a headless statue in the centre and was ringed with cabinets. Blagden immediately checked these out, as excited as a kid in a sweet shop. Seeing cool and shiny stuff like a greatsword with rubies embedded in the hilt and many gold necklaces, he tried the doors but to his disappointment they were locked. Khrom followed to keep him out of trouble while the other two decided they’d had enough of hiding wizards. Kunai loudly addressed the emptiness, imploring the wizards to show themselves because the group needed their help. Bayul followed this up with a mighty trumpet to show his disdain. This caused all lights to dim in the room except for one on the statue and one on the far side. Investigating further, it became clear that the group needed to solve three riddles by placing various heads on the statue.

The first two were legible to the group, and read:

1. Try to defeat me but try in vain, when I win I end your pain
2. I have two heads but one body, the more I stand still the faster I run

These were dispatched in short order, but naturally nobody could read the final one - if Blagden was to be believed it was "definitely in Celestial...". They were on the verge of waiting for the rest of the group or just guessing, when Blagden shouted out to the hidden wizards once more. “Oi give us a chance, we’ve shown we can do two of them ain’t we?”. Apparently this was persuasive enough and they heard a muffled voice grumble “I don’t know why I bother”, as the writing turned to common before their eyes:

3. At night I come without being fetched, at day I go without being stolen

As the final riddle was solved, the statue completely disappeared and after some wind and mechanical rumbling a spiral staircase stood in its place. Ascending once more, the group entered another large room. Bookshelves covered the walls from floor to ceiling, a huge telescope pointed to the sky, and bottles and potions of various colours lay strewn about on desks and over the floor. In the centre of it all stood a small, slightly stooped figure who called out a greeting. “I’ve been expecting your arrival, come over here and collect your supplies”.

After finding out the names of the group, he introduced himself as Master Quayl, the guild wizard. He handed the group 4 vials (1 each) of red liquid, and informed them that, with regret, the rest of the supplies would be delayed. The delivery of silver ingots he expected from the mines had not arrived and he had no idea why. Being a fearless squad of adventurers, the group offered to make a trip to the mines to check out the hold-up. Master Quayl was very grateful, and revealed that they would be getting a gift in addition to the other supplies. Bayul demanded to know what this was, but Blagden and Khrom covered their ears while he let them know so it didn’t ruin the surprise. Absolute sweeties. Blagden also asked Master Quayl about the fine artefacts he’d seen downstairs, prompting the old wizard to talk about his adventure-filled youth. It was his collection from those good old days - including a dragon-killing greatsword. Blagden proudly announced that he too had his own collection, and they shared a fondness for adding fine things to their collections, before the group made their way back down the tower and to the mines.

## **Reunited by the Mines**

Outside the tower, the group of scribbulus-rescuers (who had also been shopping in the market - we’ll backfill that) arrived as the current squad emerged. After some pleasantries (and unpleasantries, mainly about Blagden) were exchanged, the situation was explained and Rocky got very hyped about the prospect of gifts in the mines. He ran off in that general direction, beckoning the others to follow. Around the entrance sat a group of dwarves who suddenly found themselves beset by an excitable goliath. “Alright, what do you lot do then?”, he greeted them. The dwarves explained that they were miners, and that they didn’t know what was holding up the mining work but they weren’t happy about it because they weren’t getting paid. Going full Karen, Rocky asked to “speak to the manager”, and was directed just inside where more dwarves were scurrying about.

A couple of the smaller members, led by Rocky who declared he would ‘do the talking’, began to head over there. Bayul and Narko exchanged a knowing look. A slightly more commanding-looking dwarf met them. “Hello, tiny manager”, Rocky tactfully opened with. The reply came "The name’s Fargrim, and you are?”

***Aside:***

*OOOOOOOOH IT’S ONLY FUCKING FARGRIM!*

*Is he a parallel universe Fargrim?*

*The original himself?*

*Or just another dwarf with the same name?*

*Stay tuned to find out.*

***End aside.***

Rocky went on an absolute mad one telling Fargrim about how we really need stuff from the mine and are a group that gets fish and does digging. Merric managed to steer him back onto course a few times and Blagden also butted in repeatedly, earning several kicks in the process. Overall, the main bullet point of his presentation was that we are the very powerful super fish pals and if the miners helped the group in this time of need, they would have earned our help in their own time of need. In return, Fargrim explained that inside the mine was a dam and sluice that usually controlled their water flow, and that this was badly damaged. This had been reported earlier on, and the team sent to fix it had never been heard from again. Now they were waiting for the city guard.

Merric inquired further and found out that it was actually a wooden water wheel attached to the dam that had been smashed up and clogged with debris. He thought he’d be able to fix it and the Fargrim said he’d gladly pay good gold if that could be done as it’d save him a world of trouble. Negotiations began in earnest. Fargrim offered 50 gold total, but Rocky thought this was pathetic and campaigned passionately for 5 before calling Khrom for help. Thankfully Merric and Blagden managed to assist, and eventually all parties settled on 10 gold each on the condition that it was finished within the hour. Blagden then asked which way to go and Rocky kicked him again.

## **Into the Mines**

The entire group started into the dark and soon came across several mine carts filled with unrefined ore, which a quick investigation revealed to be silver. A good sign. They descended further, coming upon a trickle of water that once looked to have been bigger and wider and decided to follow this. Feeling at home in the dim and moist environment, Kunai slunk to the front and led the group for a few minutes before they came upon the dam.

Outside the mine, the dwarves turned as a giant shadow fell over them and were met with the sight of an enormous (but somehow cheerful-looking) ankylosaurus. The front dwarf was startled as a halfling hopped off the top of the beast and asked if he’d seen a somewhat eclectic bunch pass through. Directing the halfling down the mine, he was rewarded with a bunch of flowers that burst forth from the top of the halfling’s staff before he scurried off. Completely confused, the dwarf handed the flowers up to the ankylosaurus who happily munched away on them. The mine was too big for him anyway.

As the group came upon the dam, Scribbulus came upon them and rapidly made his acquaintance with them all, particularly Blagden and Khrom for the first time. He was most taken and delighted by the general volume discrepancies among the group. As the group inspected the dam, Kunai motioned to Blagden to follow him. They crept closer, investigating for signs of sabotage and keeping a wary eye out. Seeing a brief flicker of movement, Kunai yelled to the group and they became immediately alert with weapons drawn.

From the rising water behind the mine seven identical blue entities emerged. As they were seen, they were also smelled. A noxious miasma hit the group. Placed far to the front, Blagden prepared himself to fire his crossbow as soon as a creature came within range of himself or an ally, while Kunai melted away into the dark surroundings and waited to pounce. The creatures suddenly surged forwards like a putrid tidal wave, prompting Blagden to let fly. Unfortunately he was overwhelmed by their numbers and his bolt missed its mark. Meanwhile, Kunai leapt from hiding, whirling his chain in a deadly arc and utterly eviscerating the unluckiest of the bunch.

Angered into a frenzy by the brutal death of one of their own, the creatures swarmed Kunai and laid him low in a flurry of blows while others piled into Blagden and scored some wounds through his leather armour. Everyone except possibly Merric was then startled when the gentle-giant Khrom, flicked out his enormous double-blade, bellowed a war-cry and charged into the fray, hewing another of the creatures completely in twain. From his position of overwatch, Merric slotted a gem into his not-a-pistol and fired into an assailant, taking off a good chunk of shoulder. This was followed in short order by a projectile from Reggie the wrist-rocket, which blew what was left of the creature to very little bits.

From his vantage point at the back of the group, Rocky saw the lizard go down and cast a word of healing to revive him to consciousness. In retribution he threw Rosie at one of them and was rewarded with a satisfying clunk. As this was happening, Narko began imbuing himself with the might of giants, his already substantial form becoming even more swollen and powerful. Seeing an opening he galloped forwards, becoming an unstoppable wall of glaive-wielding horse-muscle. He ploughed into an unfortunate creature, utterly breaking its body with sheer momentum and a vicious swing of the glaive for good measure.

Though he would not strike in anger, Scribbulus sought to help the party in their peril. He healed the now conscious but still weak Kunai again, bringing him closer to his former vitality. He then placed a hand lightly on Blagden, causing his light armour to shimmer and glow with magically-enhanced durability. Conversely, Bayul definitely would strike in anger. He had watched the situation closely, his every sense attuned to the ebb and flow of the battle. Now ready to strike, he began his own charge, battle axe and shield primed. As he thundered into battle, he bellowed an order to Kunai, “Kunaiii wi’ chain!” (becoming weirdly un-russian for a moment), who lashed out at one creature as bayul crashed into he next. Together they sliced and diced one creature into satisfying cubes, and dealt grievous wounds to another. This very wounded creature, having let its guard fall, was then sniped by a cheeky Blagden bolt that appeared almost from nowhere through the chaos.

Kunai’s lizard eyes narrowed as he fixed them on the final enemy. With lightning speed, he somersaulted onto the rim of the dam, sprinted along it naruto-style before the gawping eyes of the whole group, and swung his wicked chain to slice into the creature. Seeing that it still breathed after his assault, his sharp fangs clamped down on its neck, causing it to yelp in fright but still not bringing it down. In desperation more than anger, the creature flailed out. Unfortunately for Kunai it embedded its weapon deeply into one of the wounds that had not been fully healed, causing him to fall unconscious in pain. Seeing noble Kunai fall once again, and hearing the subsequent groan from the group, Khrom strode over and quite unceremoniously put his blade through the face of the final creature, thus ending the encounter.

As Kunai was nursed back to strength by Rocky, the others began to investigate the scene once more. The ever-curious Blagden immediately began routing through the corpses despite the rank odour, and became poisoned by their rancid flesh. His little body was overcome by the corruption and he vomited forth a torrent of foulness onto the shaky-legged Kunai. Already having a really bad day, Kunai kicked him in annoyance.

*We leave our heroes as they inspect the dam further, and will resume as they attempt to fix it and acquire the supplies they need to continue...*