300: Clearly Not, Based on This 2-Hour Conversation

## Summary

On the flip side of reality, Raphina meets up with Mo and Hilula, who both seem a little confused about what's real, and Raphina takes pity on Hilula, setting her free. Under the lake, Will tries to get more answers from the Anglerfish about his misty ankle, his encounters with Eldon and Zol Berdia, and his magical ability, which he learns was inherited from his father. The group accept some boons from the Anglerfish: Rosco gets a lot of money, Will gains the ability to detect when someone's stealing from him, and the Anglerfish promises a new terrarium for Raphina, before they all swim to the surface and regroup.

## Synopsis

Still looking for get-out clauses, Rosco suggests that maybe what's going on with the "slivers" is just the natural cycle of reality, and so perhaps they shouldn't interfere. The Anglerfish explains however that what's going on couldn't be more unnatural. *"Man, like, this is something out of this world. Literally,"* he says. Batthwack asks *"So Tivoli is gone, but Gully's End is here, right?"* *"Yeah."* replies the Anglerfish, much to Batthwack's relief. He briefly entertains the thought of inviting Will there, but stops himself before the words come out. Almost as if the Anglerfish heard Batthwack's thoughts, he says, *"You guys, like, you gotta fucking go to, like, these places. It's probably going to be pretty clear, like, where the slivers are fucking with shit."* Rosco realises that he's actually been to all the places that the Anglerfish mentioned: Carnivar, Tapperdown, Bufflin and even Gully's End.

Meanwhile, stuck on the flip side of this reality, Raphina is in the Beartoggle River, nervously calling Will's name in vain. She's concerned that while she's away from them, her serial killer doppelganger might appear and they wouldn't know it wasn't the real her. Around a bend in the river upstream she hears someone calling in response, but it's not Will's voice. *"Is that, is that... Is that Mo? Mo?!"* she cries excitedly as the Ding Dang Dong boat (in its "ding" version) comes sailing around the bend. The two greet each other excitedly and when Raphina asks Mo about the now missing lake, he says *"Um, I kind of remember, but it's weird. Like, I don't know, I thought maybe you tell me what's going on. My head feels weird. It's like things were there, but not there. It's kind of weird and scary."* He's extremely excited to learn that they met the Anglerfish, but Raphina explains that they can't seem to be able to get back where the rest of the party are. Raphina's keen to see if Hilula's brain has also been changed, but she also seems confused. She still recognises Raphina, but asks *"So... Are you a serial killer?"* She says that Mo and her have been talking about it, and neither of them really understands what's going on. She is certainly not as convinced as she had been before.

*"Let's get out of this boat and head to the Desert Mothers,"* says Raphina. *"The Desert Mothers? They're scary. Can I just go home?"* says Hilula. There's a brief pause before Raphina merrily says *"Okay. Bye!"* and they untie her. Hilula is grateful but clearly unsure if this is really happening. She makes her way to the bank and heads off towards the city.

Back under the lake, the Anglerfish attempts to get the party interested in some form of reward for their good deed. Knowing that this is likely to be his last and only chance, Batthwack asks if he can touch the Anglerfish, who happily agrees. He touches his fin, finding it unusually warm for a fish. *"This is a Beartoggle god,"* he whispers to himself in wonder. Will rolls his eyes and the Anglerfish asks him why he's so angry. *"I don't understand why I'm still here. It's not cool. I'm angry about it,"* says Will. He wonders how he's even supposed to know when he's in the right reality. The Anglerfish says there's infinite realities, but Will will know when he's in the right place. Will's not very reassured; he thought they were in the right place when they first walked out of Barovia.

Will asks the Anglerfish what's going on with his invisible ankle. *"Oh, you got stung with the Warping Scorpion?"* says the Anglerfish. He explains that it's not going to get any worse and won't be bad for Will, in fact, now he has some "Warping Scorpion juice" inside him, he probably can use it to warp himself. The Anglerfish says that the Scorpion was probably just spooked and stung him out of self-defence. This all reminds Will of the weird situation when it happened. *"I saw another god too. A god I was not expecting to see,"* says Will a little hesitantly. He *Messages* the Anglerfish in secret, *"How is Zol Berdia here?"* *"Zol Berdia's real, dude,"* comes the reply. Will continues to *Message*. *"No, he isn't. How is he real? I made him up."* The Anglerfish continues to respond in Will's mind. *"Belief is fucking power dude,"* he says. *"You made people believe in Zol Berdia, man. Zol Berdia is real.*" *"Well that isn't great,"* *Messages* Will. The Anglerfish replies *"Why, man? I like the idea of forgiveness. First of all, I hope you can forgive me. For not helping as much as you wanted me to."*

It's obvious to Rosco and Batthwack that Will is speaking to the Anglerfish in private, so to fill the awkward silence they play a game which Rosco dubs "Podcast". Watching Will and the Anglerfish's expressions, they act out whatever they imagine the two of them are saying. Will *Messages* the Anglerfish again, *"Can you tell me why I have magical powers?"* The Anglerfish explains how when Will was given magical powers as a warlock it unlocked something that had always been there. *"Like, you have, like, a magic to you that's, like, part of you. It's genetics, man. It came from your dad, dude."* The silence (and Batthwack and Rosco's game of *Podcast*) is broken by Will's loud yell. *"WHAT?!"*

The *Messaging* between Will and the Anglerfish continues, with the Anglerfish explaining that there's ancient magic in Will's father's family and now it's passed to Will. Will says he never had any sense of having any magical ability. *"I don't think that guy gave me anything, ever, anything positive. You know what? I hate this news."* Will asks when he's going to be able to get home, but the Anglerfish says he can't tell the future. Noting Will's increasingly distressed expression, Batthwack asks if the Anglerfish has been able to help him. *"No! This thing can't help ANYONE!"* Will is screaming now. *"All it is, is full of bad news! Bad news and jobs that we won't get paid for."*

The Anglerfish says he can help if it's money they need. Rosco is immediately interested. *"I'll take 3000 gold,"* he says. The Anglerfish reaches out his fin and from behind Rosco's ear he pulls out a pile of gold coins. Seeing the size of this hoard, Rosco is initially concerned that he won't be able to carry it, so he takes 700gp and begins shovelling it into a purse. Batthwack notes that the purse is mysteriously not getting any fuller or heavier, no matter how many gold coins Rosco puts in it. When it becomes apparent to Rosco how effective this purse is, the Anglerfish produces the remaining amount in platinum coins, a total of 230pp, and Rosco begins hungrily pouring this into the purse too.

Will watches with envy as Rosco rubs platinum pieces all over his face, and it begins to dawn on him just how useful the Anglerfish's gift-giving abilities could be. He's not quite sure what power to ask for and then an idea strikes him. *"I want to make sure Ricardo Ulysses can never steal from me again,"* he says. The Anglerfish's lure shines a bright green light onto Will and when it stops, the Anglerfish says, *"All right, good. No one can ever steal from you. I mean, they can, but you'll know."* Will actually seems pretty pleased with this. He says, *"Hey, I have one more request.* *Can you make a terrarium?"* Rosco mocks Will for the suggestion, and finds himself having to dance to avoid an *Eldritch Blast* aimed at his feet. Batthwack deflects the blast with his shield and Rosco's dance turns into some surprisingly graceful ballet moves. Will turns back to the Anglerfish. *"It's a terrarium for somebody who just carries a whole bunch of weird shit in it,"* he says. The Anglerfish agrees and says he'll send it up after them.

The group are really getting the hang of this now. As one last request before they leave, Rosco asks if they can all be fully healed and the Anglerfish happily agrees, his lure glowing a red/orange colour, as it had done during the battle, and they all feel its healing effect flowing into their bodies. Sensing departure is imminent, the Anglerfish says, *"Well, like, maybe we'll see each other, maybe not. I don't know. I'm probably gonna swim around for, like, a couple of years. Like, it feels good to be able to move."* They're just turning to go when Will turns back and fires one more *Message* at the Anglerfish. *"Why is Eldon Zol Berdia?"* he says. *"It must be because, like, in some way, somehow, you believe that one is the other. I don't know what it means, man. That's for you to answer,"* comes the response. *"Can you tell me whether my family is alive?"* asks Will. The Anglerfish says they are, but says again that Tivoli has changed, so it's hard to say whether they're the same or not.

Will sounds pretty dejected when he *Messages* again, *"I hate all this news. This is all terrible."* The Anglerfish's tone is suddenly more serious, and he replies, *"I will say to you, like, because I think you can handle it: like, this shit is fucking fucked, man. If you don't fucking fix what's going on, like, your family is, like, fucked. You're fucked. Like, this world is fucked. Whatever this fucking this is, it's bad man."* He goes on to say that whatever's behind this, he can't discern what it is. It's bigger than him. He says he doesn't know where it is, but the group will have to find it and go to it.

*"Good luck, dudes! If I can help you sometime, I will!"* says the Anglerfish. The group say their goodbyes and swim up and away. As soon as their heads break the surface, they also find that it's suddenly the river, not the lake, and Raphina's there in the boat with Mo.

## Quotes

* Anglerfish: *"No, I can't tell the future, man."* Will: *"Great."* Anglerfish:*"Do you want to be less stressed?"* Will: *"No! Then I won't accomplish ANYTHING."*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes the Anglerfish who had been bestowing boons on the party. He'd turned his attention to Will, who had been less than impressed with the god thus far, to say the least. Will had eventually suggested *"Shower me with all kinds of powers so that I can kill all the gods I ever want to."* The Anglerfish tried to narrow in on what Will was really asking for, saying, *"Would you be, like, able to, like, cast, like, a fireball? Or, like, change your appearance at will."* Will: *"I already can do that."* Anglerfish: *"I know."* Will: *"Oh. You know* everything*, huh?"* Anglerfish: *"No, clearly not, based on this two hour conversation."*
* While it seems that ankles aren't called that because they're angles, the two words do seem to have the same derivation! The 14th century words *ancle*, *ankle*, from Old English *ancleow*, have the proto-indo-european root \**ang*-/\**ank*- "to bend", just like the word angle! See https://www.etymonline.com/word/ankle.
* *"Every hour we spend on that planet is seven years back on Earth"* from Interstellar (2014): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dykzs40b3zo
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: still unbelievable.

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*

## References

1. ↑ See episode 239: Recently Extinct Hair-Braiding Bugs
2. ↑ As noted by KT, Hilula's reaction to the mention of the Desert Mothers is interesting, in that she clearly knows who they are. The only other Beartogglian she'd asked about the Desert Mothers (a dock worker up on the Toggle Dam) had never heard of them, which was weird. See episode 245: Meesa Mo
3. ↑ See episode 164: A Star Trek-Themed Campaign
4. ↑ See episode 187: We Have a Lot To Discover About Raphina's Digestive System
5. ↑ See episode 296: Stilled By the Majestic Boringness
6. ↑ See episodes 187: We Have a Lot To Discover About Raphina's Digestive System and 255: Have You Ever Played, Uh, Hopscotch?
7. ↑ Will is referring to the surviving members of this family: Vera, Millie and Curtis.