Lost THX Tex Trailer: A Blue Sky Boxset

Warning: This story contains graphic violence not suitable for children. Viewer discretion is advised.

If you thought my encounter with the THX Sony Animation boxset was horrible, this wasn't the first encounter I had with a THX boxset. See, I was back at my job at Hardee's, exactly three days after I encountered that sick and demented trailer. But once again, as I was taking out the trash, I found a THX Blue Sky DVD boxset.

"Oh no," I thought. "Not again!"

I remembered my experience with the Sony trailer, and I thought about not taking this one home. But I still had a soft spot for the THX boxset trailers. So, I decided to be brave and watch this trailer. After work, I went home and saw on the cover were Manny, Sid, Diego, Blu, Jewel, Ferdinand, Charlie Brown, Horton, Lance, and Rodney. In the boxset, as usual, were the following movies: Ice Age, Robots, Rio, The Peanuts Movie, Ferdinand, Horton Hears a Who, and Spies in Disguise. As usual, there was also the DVD for the lost trailer. I put it in my DVD player and, after the usual montage, was met with the main menu. As usual, the options were Play, Scene Selection, Settings, and Bonus Features. I hit Play and was met with the following warning:

"Warning: This trailer was made to promote Spider-Man: No Way Home, even though it's not a horror movie nor THX-certified. This trailer contains graphic violence. Viewer discretion is advised."

"Here we go again," I said.

It opens with a shot of the Ice Age tundra. Manny was walking to see his friends, when his friends popped out and yelled, "Surprise!"

"Thanks, guys," said Manny. "You remembered my birthday!"

"We wanted to give you the best birthday surprise ever," said Sid.

"But we have to be careful," said Ellie. "There is a crazy robot out and about that is killing innocent people and other characters for disrespecting his company and logo."

But at that moment, Tex appeared and jumped in front of the animals, startling them.

"Hello there, prehistoric gang," said Tex.

"We heard all about you, Tex!" yelled Diego. "What you did to those people was pointless! We will have you fed to the dinosaurs in the Lost World, then cut up by Buck Wild!"

"Well, that is a pretty detailed plan," said Tex. "But do you know what I'm gonna do?"

"What?" asked Manny.

"TIME TO MELT THE ICE CAPS WITH SEXY TEXY!!!!!" said Tex.

At that moment, Tex pulled out a flamethrower and started melting the ice from underneath the gang's feet. The gang screamed as they fell into the cold water and froze to their deaths. Tex laughed stupidly as he flew away.

But the trailer wasn't over yet.

It cut to show a cage, similar to the Angry Birds scene in the Sony trailer. Blu, Jewel, Nico, Pedro, and Rafael were locked in the cage.

"Where are we?" asked Blu.

"I don't know," said Pedro. "Is Nigel up to his old ways again?"

"No," said Jewel. "This is different."

At that moment, Tex jumped in front of the cage, startling the birds.

"Hello, fine feathered friends," said Tex. "I'm in the mood for some fried chicken tonight!"

"You aren't gonna fry us, are you?" asked Nico, looking scared.

"If you do, we will have you beaten by the monkeys!" added Rafael.

"You wanna test me?" asked Tex.

At that moment, Tex took out all of the birds and put them in the deep fryer. The gang screamed as they were being fried, much to Tex's amusement. After the gang was fried, the screen faded to black.

But the trailer wasn't over yet.

It cut to show the slaughterhouse from Ferdinand. Ferdinand was walking around, looking for a way out.

"Hello? Is anybody here?" asked Ferdinand.

But at that moment, Ferdinand saw Tex, in the slaughterhouse control room.

"Hello, softy," said Tex.

"HEY! JUST BECAUSE I LOVE FLOWERS DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M A SOFTY!!!! ALSO, WHY ARE YOU KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE?!" asked Ferdinand.

"Oh, personal reasons," said Tex. "Now, it's time to make some steaks and burgers with the T-Man!!!"

Tex pressed the Go button on the slaughterhouse control panel. Ferdinand screamed as he was being pulled into the bandsaw. But it sounded like his voice actor, John Cena, was actually in pain. Then, the corpse of Ferdinand was pulled into a brisket scissor to be made into burgers, steaks, and the like. (If you're wondering how I know these terms, I once had to do a research project on slaughterhouses for school. So, I was able to recognize the machines instantly.)

Anyways, the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to the forest from Horton Hears a Who. Horton was carrying his seed, which contained the town of Whoville. But what he didn't know was that Tex was following him, and had a machete in his hands.

"Hello, mental elephant," said Tex. "Talking to your stupid seed again?"

"HEY! MY SEED IS NOT STUPID!" said Horton, as soon as he noticed Tex. "Also, you are a psychopath! I will stomp and trample you if you try to kill me!"

"Not gonna happen," said Tex, with a chuckle. "NOW TIME TO POACH AN ELEPHANT WITH THE T-MAN!"

At that moment, Tex stabbed Horton in the heart, killing him instantly. Then, he picked up the town of Whoville and ate it whole.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to Charlie Brown talking to Lucy at her psychology stand.

"I have been feeling extra scared recently," said Charlie. "I've been hearing rumors about a robot going around killing other characters and innocent people on his list of people scared of his company. I'm just scared that I might be next."

Right before Lucy was about to give her advice, Tex put his five cents into Lucy's jar.

"I need some counseling too," said Tex. "So wrap this up, Baldy!"

"THAT'S HIM!" said Charlie, with realistic fear in his voice. "What do you want from us?!"

"Just to play a quick football game, of course," said Tex, as he pulled out a football.

Charlie ran to go kick the football. But Tex lifted it up a thousand feet, causing Charlie to fall and break his head, dying from severe brain damage.

"Please don't kill me," said Lucy, noticing her friend dead.

"Sorry, Lucy," said Tex. "But you are on my list."

At that moment, Tex opened a portal to hell and Lucy fell in, screaming.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to show the Spy headquarters from Spies in Disguise. Lance and Walter were messing around with their inventions. When all of a sudden, Tex appeared in front of them.

"Hello, master inventor and his spy friend," said Tex. "I have an invention like what you have never seen before. Wanna see it?"

"OK," said Walter, nervously. "But please don't hurt us. We've heard a lot about you."

"Don't worry," said Tex. "I will only kill you if you stop paying attention to me."

Tex pulled out his invention: An Infinity Gauntlet.

"What?!" I yelled. "What is the Infinity Gauntlet from Marvel doing in a THX trailer, nevertheless a Blue Sky trailer?!"

Anyways, Tex put the Infinity Gauntlet on his hand and snapped his fingers.

"JUST KIDDING!" said Tex. "This invention makes half of life in this universe fade away! So you guys are as good as dead!"

Tex flew away, as Lance and Walter screamed as they were fading away. I realized that Tom Holland, the voice actor for Walter, starred in Avengers: Infinity War as Spider-Man. So, it made sense to incorporate the Infinity Gauntlet into this trailer.

Anyways, the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to a garage, where Rodney was busy, fixing robots. After he had fixed his last robot for the day he was about to go home. But at that moment, Tex walked in front of him with a bucket of water in his hands.

"Time for you to short-circuit, robot," said Tex, as he poured the water onto Rodney.

"NO!!!" said Rodney, as he short-circuited.

Rodney screamed and screamed, as he began to shut down due to the water affecting his power.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to the THX logo and a broken Blue Sky logo, dripping in blood. As usual, the deep note played, but this time, the screams belonged to Manny, Sid, Blu, Jewel, Rodney, Ferdinand, Horton, Charlie Brown, Walter, and Lance. After the deep note stopped, Tex dropped down to give his speech.

"Hello, Blue Sky fans! Once again, I have killed your pathetic characters for disrespecting my company!" said Tex. "Remember the Sexy Texy Rule: If you are scared of me, I will find you and give you the ride of your life! Sweet dreams."

Tex flew away as "The Audience is Listening" slogan appeared on the screen. Then, another "To be continued..." appeared. Then, the trailer ended.

I was just as scared at that one as I was the Sony Animation Trailer. I smashed the DVD into a million pieces and threw it in the same dumpster behind Hardee's that I put the Sony Animation trailer.

But my troubles with THX would continue from there.

To be continued...