Alt Schwift X

**Alt Schwift X** (IPA: /ˈɑːlt ˈʃhwɪft ˈɛks/) is the narrator of the world-acclaimed Animorphs Abridged series on YouTube and eye-witness chronicler of human history. While his fame originally rested on his achievements as the child prodigy philosopher for which the field of study was named, he has also become known for his work as a ground-breaking linguist, professional zoologist, anti-Greek wrestler, and neolithic communications expert.

Occasionally he spends his time as a producer the of lesser-known Game of Thrones Abridged podcast and YouTube series of videos and livestreams. His concise and non-tangential delivery inexplicably gained him a large group of devoted followers, who call themselves the SchwiftySquwad. Schwift is widely considered one of the most diverse talents to have ever lived.[*by who?*]

## Biographic information

Further information: Timeline of Schwift's Existence

### Birth and early life

Due to a lack of surviving accounts, very little is known about the birthplace, or birthplaces, of Schwift, and official sources differ on the matter. It is, however, indisputable that he was born several times, the earliest of which being before the development of human speech, estimated as early as two million years ago (see also: Timeline of Schwift's Existence).

The names of his parents are unknown. Through an emotional depiction of a turbulent divorce, Schwift has hinted at his parents' separation, but the only established fact is that his mother was tragically murdered by Australian wildlife, resulting in The Great Wombat Hunt of '38.

Schwift has occasionally expressed having very happy childhood memories. For instance, he thinks fondly of playing with hoops down the cobblestoned streets of London Town as a child.

Schwift is known to have stated that the professional YouTuber Alt Shift X is his twin brother. A long array of public disagreements has made it blatantly obvious that the relationship between the twin brothers is complicated to say the least. A third brother named Hammond is known to have been seriously injured in a communication exchange involving a Hello Rock.

### Personal life

While Schwift's current marital status is undecided, he is known to have been married an undisclosed number of times. Some of these marriages have lasted less than three years. His first marriage was in 1369, and he claims to remember the year fondly for that reason, though the marriage ended poorly.

The name of one ex-wife of Schwift is known to be Karina, though Schwift refers to her by the affectionate term "fat clay grapefruit". It is unclear whether Karina was his first wife, and the reason for the divorce, and the fate of Karina, is likewise unknown.

Schwift is the father of renowned huffographer Sally Port.

## Physical characteristics

By most people, Alt Schwift X is assumed to be a male member of the human species. However, other theories on this matter do exist, the most convincing being the Reptilian Schwift theory.

Though his exact physical appearance is shrouded in mystery, he has revealed some details about the matter. One being that the reason he has not yet done a face reveal is that he looks exactly like Alex Jones, a fact that has given him difficulties finding occupation in the past. He is also known to have a large face tattoo of Flement Brax and to be shorter than Tyrion Lannister.

Schwift does not have a beard. This is an undisputed fact, since the founder of the SchwiftySquwad, Hairless Oyster, would be able to hear a beard if one existed, concluding beyond all doubt that it does not. He does at times speak wistfully of being able to grow magnificent whiskers.

### Voice

At the forefront of Schwift's talents alongside burping and tangent-making is his voice, which has a soothing, alluring, and velvety quality. Attraction to Schwift's voice is so common, that the phenomenon of falling in love with it has been termed **Voice Crush Fever** by SchwiftySquwad founder Cata Thielemann.

## Notable relatives

* Sally Port - Daughter
* Hammond - Brother
* Alt Shift X - Twin brother(relationship disputed)
* Karina - ex-wife
* Reginald - uncle
* Jorje - uncle
* Pherbert - uncle
* Terence - uncle
* Gemima - aunt
* Corduroy Clementine - cousin
* Denim Dan - cousin
* Silky Steve - cousin
* Latex Letitia - cousin
* Cotton Clive - cousin
* A Platypus - cousin
* Weginald - cousin
* Jethro - cousin
* Jeremima - cousin
* Unnamed family members

Alt Schwift Rivers - bastard son

## Known associates

* Juan - colleague
* Marten Cordial
* Hairless Oyster

## Professional life and interests

As mentioned above, Schwift has experienced difficulty in finding employment as a result of looking like Alex Jones with a Flement Brax face tattoo. This may be the reason why he has never become a doctor, a sauce linguist, a wilderness expert, a Dothraki etymologist, or a voice artist.

Schwift has also publicly stated that he is not an astrological expert, which is quite surprising, since his YouTube career includes a series of astrological-themed episodes titled *Alt Schwift Horoscope* (see below).

But even as some career opportunities have apparently been closed, he has still pursued others in private and has developed some strong theories, particularly in the fields of zoology, medicine, and linguistics, where his methodology is ground-breaking.

Schwift has worked professionally in a diverse variety of fields encompassing but not limited to:

* Neolithic communications
* Philosophy
* Anti-Greek Wrestling
* Sub-Saharan snowboarding
* Glass bowl alien planet skateboarding
* Colonialist information warfare
* Aeronautic industry

### YouTube career

The Alt Schwift X channel on YouTube was founded on March 1, 2017, where is it acknowledged as being "the original and the best", to distinguish the channel from direct YouTube rivals such as the notorious Alt Shift X.

The channel began with a series of abridged chapters from the novel *A Game of Thrones* by George R.R. Martin, moving from concise, professional video essays to the current Livestream/Podcast format on June 15, 2017. The channel reached its peak acclaim, however, on July 14, 2017, with the posting of *Animorphs Abridged #1.1*. The YouTube channel has gained a large group of followers, who refer to themselves as the SchwiftySquwad.

On May 6, 2018, a series of astrological-themed episodes titled *Alt Schwift Horoscope* began, launching the artist's career in prognostication. This ground-breaking series proved so popular, it spawned a separate channel: the *Random Article Podcast*. It is not known whether this off-shoot is also produced by Alt Schwift X, or merely someone who sounds suspiciously like him.

On April 1, 2021, a new YouTube channel appeared that was purportedly run by Alt Shift X, named "*Alt Shift Games*", which was announced during a livestream on the Alt Shift X YouTube Channel. However shortly following this debut livestream the channel was abruptly renamed to Alt Schwift Games as a place for "Pro gamin plays only", reported to be the work of notorious hacker Alt Schwift X in "a misguided attempt to promote a gaming channel".

## Influences

An important influence for Alt Schwift X is thought to be a guru, whose name has not been revealed. The guru's life-changing advice for Schwift has been to stop thinking so much, because "*aren't thoughts just barriers that we put in the way of achieving our aspirations"*.

He also takes a lot of inspiration from his large extended family, and appears to have internalized many of their sayings and ideas.

## Public appearances

The only known public appearance of Alt Schwift X was at a live show in Alameda, California, on November 7, 2018.

The show was recorded and aired on YouTube on November 26, 2018.

## Critical acclaim and controversies

* Public disagreements with twin brother(relationship disputed) Alt Shift X
* Copyright issues
* Facebook exile
* The Controversy Controversy

## References

1. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged #89, Tyrion III, ACOK 31:30
2. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged, #80: Jon I , ACOK 39:43
3. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged #66, Arya V, AGOT 23:30
4. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged #73, Season Finale, Daenerys X, AGOT 1:45
5. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged, #57, Tyrion IIV, AGOT 20:40
6. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged #89, Tyrion III, ACOK 45:00
7. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged #79, Arya II, ACOK 7:48
8. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged #94, Tyrion V, ACOK 8:23
9. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged #57, Tyrion VII 32:39
10. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged #57, Tyrion VII, AGOT 24:40
11. ↑ Game of Thrones #77, Tyrion I, ACOK 17:25
12. ↑ Game of Thrones abridged #59, Eddard XV, AGOT 26:24
13. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged #9, Arya I, AGOT 10:24
14. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScKNm1gqg\_c&t=80
15. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wFc4QAAcfI&t=331
16. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuKT9g2qG4k&t=194
17. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-G1OuGmIwY&t=186
18. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uK44oac9PU&t=1037
19. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb4ldfrwAKA&t=260
20. ↑ Alt Schwift X youtube channel
21. ↑ Alt Schwift X youtube channel description
22. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged #50, Eddard XIV
23. ↑ Animorphs Abridged #1.1
24. ↑ Alt Schwift Horoscope 6th May 2018
25. ↑ Random Article youtube channel
26. ↑ Alt Shift Games – The Binding of Isaac: Repentance
27. ↑ Alt Schwift Games - YouTube
28. ↑ Alt Shift X Discord Comment 2021-04-01 11:24 UTC
29. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged #74, Prologue, ACOK 00:13
30. ↑ Alt Schwift X on Twitter Nov. 7th, 2018:
31. ↑ Game of Thrones Abridged #82, Tyrion II, ACOK