Pete Larsgaard

**Peter "Stinky Pete" Larsgaard** is a General Manager and former Head Coach and Recruiter in the Farm Games. He currently serves as the General Manager of the Lexington Racers. He is supposedly the son of two Norwegian immigrants whose names are unknown, although he has stated in the past that he is half Italian as he was the product of an affair between his mother and a dark Italian man named Salvador Merucci, as well as claiming to have pure Aryan heritage dating back to the days of Norse Mythology. He has also referred to his father as the "progenitor of modern science", making allusions to the idea that his father was either Albert Einstein or Joseph Mengele. While his exact lineage is unknown and up for debate, it is known that his family immigrated to Canada in the 1960's, where Pete was at some point sent to a Farm Games Compound in a van by his parents, where he would remain until he was 24 years of age, at which point he would become a Recruiter for the Quebec Royals.

He would continue to serve as Recruiter, attending Reapings and pissy league games for the Miami Foreskins, the Cleveland Red Roosters, and the Flint Foxcatchers until 1987, when he was hired by the Tulsa Tomahawks as their Head Coach. His career as Head Coach brought him to the Kentucky Colonists (where he won a Denley Cup in 1995), the San Diego Novas and the Flint Foxcatchers over the years, until he was promoted to the General Manager job in Flint in 2005. He remained General Manager there until 2009, when he was fired.

After being ousted from Flint, Larsgaard claimed he was done with Farm Games and that he was moving himself and his "family" to Barbados. Later that year, he was discovered to be lying as he has no family save for one sickly cousin in Utah, and he had actually been living in an apartment complex in Orillia, Ontario. He returned to the Farm Games by early 2010, joining the San Francisco Mavericks as a coaching consultant. In 2011, he became a media personality alongside Lev Gibbert on the show The Beef Stove. During his time as a talking head, he spread many lies about several players, including a claim that Burty Brudo was spreading chollera around the Milwaukee Pistons dressing room in 2013. In 2015, he was hired by the Lexington Racers as General Manager after Dick Resler, Pete's old gambling and lying friend, was appointed team president of organization by Popeye's.

Larsgaard is known for being a consistent and unrelenting liar, constantly lying about bizarre things like his origins, his diet, his taste in decor and art, his friends, even going so far as to denying his need to defecate, claiming he has "never shit a day in his life" and that he would rather "be butchered like an animal than take a dump". This caused much controversy when he was caught shitting his pants at a Longo's in 2011. He later claimed he has never been to Longo's and has never even heard of the place. His lying habits extend to the Farm Games however, as he has attempted to lie his way through trades on occasion, sometimes claiming he would trade other GM's players that were not on his team, and gaslighting other GM's into fighting each other on several occasions. Larsgaard is known as a Machiavellian schemer, and GM's know to be on their toes when negotiating with him due to his slippery tongue and cheap lies.

Larsgaard has supposedly been super involved in Neo-Aryan mythology and conspiracy theories, considering himself a classical Norseman, like a Viking or something of the like. He is also very angry about cancel culture, and even wrote a book called "Cancel This!: How Third Wave Feminism Is Making Things Hard for Rapists", which he appeared on Tucker Carlson's Fox News show to promote.