Episode 134

**Episode 134** is an episode of Drunken Peasants. Scoopy experiences a sense of independence for the first time in years when he finally decided to show up without Monica's permission. After receiving two black eyes and a ruptured testicle he now takes refuge in TJ's pillowy bosom. Some people believe this episode will be garbage due to their belief that the episodes from the last two weeks have been garbage.

## Highlights

* Scotty avoids getting pussy-whipped by his Dominatrix.
* The second official guest appearance of TheRPGMinx.
* A nonviolent veteran calls for the deaths of Muslims.
* Sherwin praises John Cena.

## Videos Played

1. TJ's Hulk Hogan White Guilt.
2. Josh Fuckstain is upset Obama doesn't lower the flag.
3. German Poops at Parties (troll or not a troll).
4. Atheism Kills Everyone and Everything You Love
5. Tj's white guilt (can't find with a dousing rod made of dicks).
6. This video was banned from Facebook!
7. Mild Phil Wrangles up himself a black president.
8. That autistic make-a-wish fuck who loves John Cena.
9. Obama video (can't find)
10. Florida Man Declares His Gun Shop ‘Muslim-Free Zone,’ Battles CNN Host
11. Confederates to storm DC to stop gay marrige. (can't find)
12. X Hose Commercial
13. Fantastic Cap (can't find)
14. Car Cane
15. Twinkle Tush
16. Card Lock - Official Commercial - As Seen On TV
17. Woof Washer 360
18. Budda Board (can't find)
19. Wrapadoo
20. Window Bully (can't find)
21. HD Twist (can't find)
22. Derma sleep (can't find)
23. Illumask (can't find)

## Start of The Show

 File:Billy Mays' Jesuit Clone Getting a Blowjob.png
They began the show by talking about Hannah Minx and L.A. sycophants. The show has m
ore shitty technical difficulties as they talk about Hulk Hogan saying racial slurs in a sex tape. The first video was TJ Kirk fanboying over Hulk Hogan's racism. TJ is now an official, anointed member of the Order of Hulk Hogan Apologists. TJ also yet again endorsed his white guilt. And, of course WWE respects diversity. As long as it makes them a quick buck. The fabric of the space time continuum was then shattered when Scotty Kirk and Scotty Cena had a battle royale. Next was the Weird Craigslist Ads
segment. 99 percent of these involved odd sexual propositions. After this they played a video from Joshua Feuerstein calling Obama out for not lowering the flag to half mast in memorial of the four soldiers killed in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Unlike the great Ronald Reagan who actually visited the graves of the fallen. They then moved onto Troll or Not A Troll with popular Youtuber Flula Borg expressing his perplexity at why one of his co-workers was a party pooper. He obviously has not studied under the school of Arnold Schwarzenegger, making him a truant under German law.

Afterwards they moved onto a beautiful, poignant, and pseudo-intellectual video from the ever eminent Brett Keane on how atheists need to take a long, hard look at their life and turn to Gawd. The walrus has spoken. After the walrus gave his sermon on the fried twinky mount, they moved onto AIU Jr. explaining TJ's white guilt over Trayvon Martin's death.

The next video was too hot for Facebook, as it featured a retarded veteran giving his explanation of how he's defending 'Murica. He is making "A literal call to arms" but he assured us "I'm not advocating violence". You sure aren't advocating understanding words before you let them come out of your mouth either, pal.

## Middle of The Show

The middle leg of the show began with Wild Bill for America elucidating on Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton's secret plan to install the Muslim Brotherhood in power over Egypt and how they perpetrated Benghazi. Because he's a real 'Murican hero, Wild Bill wouldn't shed a tear if Egyptian commandos kidnapped Obama and Hillary. Next was Cena's greatest champion defending his legendary status as the greatest wrestler in WWE history. Kevin Owens? Fuck 'em. Brock Lesnar? Fuck 'em. The Ultimate Warrior? Fuck 'em. They then covered that god damned Kenyan staging mass shootings again, and trying to turn Murica into a socialist black regime. It was pretty much just a montage of Obama giving five million speeches on mass shootings.

They decided to next watch a testament to true American heroism when a truly marvelous man banned Muslims from his gun store, and did so under the glorious banner of the stars and bars. Then was a black pastor defending his children from them faggots and Obama. If you're a sodomite, and he was the judge of things, then straight to hell with you, faggot. He also informed us that the black evangelist army will march forth from the South and liberate the North from faggotry, commies, and crime. And of course the Union never freed slaves, they only made it worse for them.

They then shilled their t-shirts as segway into the end of the show. TJ's shirt cures depression, Scotty's shirt cures sobriety, and Ben's shirt cures capitalism, comrade.

## End of The Show

For the end of the show, and the world, they did the Stupid Ads segment. The first one was the X Hose, which, being so splendorous, incited Scotty to yet again attempt to murder TJ. The second ad was the Fan-Tastic, the coolest hat on the market. Is standing the fuck up too arduous of a process for your old ass limbs? Buy a Car Cane, we need money, and Dr. Seuss's less talented son still needs his royalty payments! Also, we're selling the swivel sea
t, for you hemorrhoid patients too embarrassed to buy a post-surgery cushion! Now with hot swiveling action! The third advert was basically a fetish item for creeps interested in bestiality. For number four, they were selling a glorified wallet for people paranoid about their credit cards. The fifth ad was for if you're just too damn lazy to shower your dog in the house or your hose, and was essentially a hoola hoop with water sprays.

Then, thumbs up for using the names of dead religious figures to move units, the Buddha Board showed us how to disparage our d-bag bosses without fear of unemployment. Do you want to vainly attempt to look like you have more money than you actually have? We've got a status symbol for you with our glorified super towel! By the way, bald Billy Mays has now come back from the dead to sell you low-grade home security products with corny ass names at the price of one on-couch blowjob for bald Billy Mays.

Then, golly gee willikers, there's a overrated headset just for you new and bottom of the barrel audiophiles out there. And, need a good, long rest after playing with all your new headest and Buddha Board? Now there's the DermaSleep, so you can slam down non-habit forming chemicals directly into your bloodstream. And, did you know? The cure for acne is here! Directly inspired by the mask of Cobra Commander, so you totally won't look ridiculous as fuck wearing it.

The show then ended because, being that TheRPGMinx can't locate YouTube, proving that she is in fact directionally challenged, and being that Scotty isn't apart of your system, they figured that there was no reason to stream there anyways.

## Trivia

* TJ converted his white guilt into a hatred of black people recently.
* TheRPGMinx (a lesbian) masturbates to John Cena's image daily.
* Scotty planned to assassinate Scotty Cena this episode.
* Scotty Cena fucked Scotty's wife, daughter and son to death.
* Barack Obama loves gang bangs.
* Brett Keane is breaking the commandment of not worshipping false idols by having an account called *Brett Keane Superstar.*
* All Muslims love the gays.
* America is slipping straight into Hell.
* Obama staged major mass shootings, Pearl Harbor, 9/11 and the moon landing.
* TheRPGMinx was shot after calling the British police on Walmart for carrying guns.
* There is a correlation and causal link between the number of gay marriages and mass shootings.
* Billy Mays is confirmed to have a botched Jesuit clone.
* Scotty suffers from chronic insomnia.
* Scotty is not part of your system.

## Quotes

* *"Adolf Hitler is kind of an asshole."* - TJ
* *"Hulk Hogan supports genocide."* - Scotty
* *"Scotty Cena is the best of the best when it comes to playing mind games."* - Scotty
* *"Last call for gang bang!"* - TJ
* *"Gays have aerosolized homosexual chemtrails, covertly attacking christians."* - TJ
* *"Everyone will have to have gay sex at least once a week."* - TheRPGMinx unveils her gay agenda

* "*I don't know about a race baiter but he's a something-bater!* " - Ben
* *"Walking while black - a serious crime."* - Scotty
* *"Obama-Sedong."* - Ben
* *"Jerking off in his car, waiting for a black kid to pass."* - TheRPGMinx
* *"It's a peaceful literal call to arms."* - TheRPGMinx
* *"The tentacles reach very deep."* - Ben describing hentai
* *"The UK is a communist utopia."* - Minx
* *"Hillary Clinton is a muslim."* - Minx
* *"We may need to walk like an Egyptian to restore rule of law."* *-* Wild Bill
* *"I am a Cena supporter."* - Scotty
* *"I'm literally shitting on the face of a sick child."* - Ben
* *"What's that powder on your desk, Ben?"* - Scotty
* *"I got a weiner, woohoo!"* - Scotty being a male supremacist
* *"Obama was at JFK's shooting."* - TheRPGMinx
* *"Give a 7 year old a gun and they'll be safe!"* - Scotty
* *"And then I was shot!"* - TheRPGMinx when she revealed she was gay to a real American
* *"We need Donald Trump as our president to protect us!"* - TJ
* *"Christians have never hurt anyone."* - TJ
* *"Enjoy your white FEMA death camp!"* - Scotty
* *"That's up to the great G Man in the sky."* - TJ
* *"You never go full racist, Ben!"* - TJ
* *"The Confederate flag flying over the White House? That's more real than your breakfast cereal!"* - Random Black Pastor
* *"My daughters are always satisfied by the master."* - Ben supporting slavery
* *"These t-shirts cure depression."* - TJ
* "*You're fan-tastic!"* - Scotty
* *"I never actually lose legitimately."* - Scotty: but G Man always wins! How does that work?!
* *"I am the grand priestess. Have you brought me tribute?"* - TJ
* *"Get Window Bully in your house or I will fuck you in the mouth!"* - TJ
* "Y*er gonna be a star YouTube!"* - Scotty Kirk

## Fan Art

Billy Mays' Jesuit Clone.pngJoshua Feuerstein EXPOSED!!!!