A Secret of My Own

**"A Secret of my Own**" is the ninth episode of Season 1 of *Cruel Summer*, and the penultimate episode of the series. It aired on June 8, 2021.

## Synopsis

Kate's closely held secrets and fragmented memories of her time in Martin's captivity are brought to the surface.

## Plot

The events that are about to unfold take place during the fall of 1993 and 1994.

**1993.** Kate walks into Martin’s house at his agreement. He makes sure no one saw her enter before closing the door and locking it.

**Day 1.** Kate admits that she feels lonely in her house and life, She doesn’t know how it happened. He assures her that she isn’t alone because he’s here and listening. She puts her head on his shoulder. He gently lays her on the couch, removes her sneakers, and covers her with a blanket.

**1994.** Dr. Parks talks about the concept of grooming; isolating the victim. He saw her unfulfilled need to confide in someone then positioned himself to be that sole person o fulfill that need. They pose as saviors when in reality they’re predators. The false sense of security was a well-laid trap.

**1993, Day 2.** Kate wakes up on the couch and walks into the entryway, softly calling for Martin. She strolls into the hallway and down the basement in search of him. She sees the barren room and admires her reflection in the mirrors. She returns to the upstairs.

**1994.** Dr. Parks asks if Kate can see that reality, but she finds it hard when there’s something she hasn’t confessed. She wasn’t always trapped in the basement.

**1993, Day 2:** Martin startles Kate at the top of the stairs and asks how she sleeps. She slept like a baby.

**1993.** Joy and Rod wait up until Joy answers the phone, telling her mother this isn’t a good time. Rod wants to call the police but Joy shuts down the idea as she doesn’t want the police to see Kate as a troublemaker. She knows Kate is safe and will attend her first day of school, which is where Joy will find her. Rod tells Joy to tell Kate that they’re sorry and will sort everything out as a family. He sternly reminds Joy that they still have to do that. They agree to do it when Kate is home safe.

At Martin’s, he makes Kate breakfast. He tells her that he has to go to school early for a staff meeting but hopes she can walk herself to school. She’s fine with that and is grateful to him for listening and for everything. He enjoys their friendship and has never connected with another student before, but reminds her that it’s Mr. Harris - at least at school. He leaves and the water sprinkles kick on. Mallory records the entire thing from behind the tree then runs off laughing. Kate watches Martin leave from the window. She explores the bathroom cabinets, the embroidered towels, his perfect closet and removes one of his shirts to try on. She tries to cook a pizza but sets off the smoke alarm just as he arrives. He shuts off the alarm so she apologizes for the burnt pizza. She wanted to surprise him. He asks why she wasn’t at school today. She tried thinking about what to say, though she isn’t a good liar and doesn’t know where to say. Martin reveals that her mom came to the school today looking for her and came to him specifically. He tells her to leave as he could lose his job or worse if people found out where she was. She grabs her jacket to leave when the phone rings, stopping her. Martin answers the phone and states that it’s terrible news, then thanks the detective, and hangs up. He closes the blinds and turns to her and states that she’s officially a missing person. She assures him she can fix this by going home. She needs his help in concocting a lie so he pours them drinks to give himself time to think. He stops her from drinking as he forgot she was underage. She asks what they’re going to do.

He should have called the police or her parents, but she assures him that he was just trying to help. She tells him that sometimes a distraction helps her think, like running. She offers to play a game to help them think. He doesn’t have Monopoly or knows where his deck of cards is. She asks to play Never Have I Ever, the drinking game, to which he notes she’s very convincing. He has her drink with the “never have I ever been on the debate team”. They end up having dinner together, pancakes and laugh over the idea.

**1994.** Kate still feels bad for Martin because of their friendship, though Dr. Parks reminds her that friendship occurs between two people who are equals. Given the power dynamic between them, that’s unlikely to have happened. Kate doesn’t think he could help it.

**1993.** Kate asks how old Martin is but he redirects by asking how old she thinks he is. She knows he’s old enough to be wise, but she’s wise too. She reminds him that he mistook her for an adult when they first met. It’s her turn to say “never have I ever” so she mentions never having been on a road trip. He takes a drink. He drove from Maine through Florida until the road just ended in Key West. She asks what made him drive that far, asking if it was for a girl. It was so he mentions she should go to Key West sometime, though she should have a tour guide. She asks if it should be someone wise which he agrees with. It’s his turn so he says “never have I ever kissed someone older”. She drinks since Jamie is six months older. He asks if she’s kissed someone much older, which she hasn’t. She asks if he’s daring her too but he isn’t; she’s beautiful and smart but no. She knows it would be crazy.

**1994.** Dr. Parks asks if she was afraid to disappoint Martin, to which she was afraid of disappointing anyone. Martin noticed everything about her, liked her for her, and made her feel seen.

**1993.** Kate’s getting tired so he tells her it’s getting late and time for bed.

**Day 21.** She stands in a closet while Martin ascends the staircase slowly. He approaches the closet but passes by it, then suddenly opens it to say “gotcha!”. She throws a towel at him and falls into his arms, kissing him before saying that he forgot to tag her. She darts off with him chasing her. They wind up downstairs where he pulls her in to kiss her neck. She’s sweaty so he tells he to run them a shower. He watches the news of her friends and family praying for her safe return. He quickly turns off the TV. He goes upstairs where Kate is showering and singing. He closes the bathroom doors behind him.

**Day 30.** She asks him to skip work and stay home with her. He chuckles that she asks him that every day as he irons his shirt. She’s stuck watching daytime TV but has all this energy. He tells her to go through the travel guides to pick places to go when it’s safe. He cites her eighteenth birthday - that it’s her homework. That night, she makes the bed with him and thinks they should move away to Thailand or a French island, and maybe Bora Bora. He’s in and flips her over, kisses her forehead, and tells her it’s bedtime.

**Day 34.** They lay on the couch together with Kate asking if he knows Renee’s parents, the Talbot’s. She asks if he knows they’re fifteen years apart, and can’t wait to be older so people won’t worry about their age difference. Her parents already like him and he’s sorry that she has to choose. He wants her to have both, but they can’t right now, at least not here. She asks if it’s Bora Bora which he agrees and they kiss. The doorbell rings so he ushers her into a closet as he answers the door. It’s Greg Turner, sorry to bother him on a Sunday, as his tire blew out. He asks to use the phone. Martin lies that he’s sick and the house is a mess. He picks up the phone which Martin lies that it’s broken. Greg notices the pamphlets and asks if he’s planning his escape, but wonders if it’s for the school project. He wanders close to the closet as he calls Cindy, returns the phone, and notices the two coffee cups. He hopes he’s not ruining a romantic morning after but Martin claims they’re both his from the night before. Greg leaves so Kate pushes out of the closet. He notes that it was too close. She didn’t like being shoved in there. He hands a dark curtain over the front door so no one can see in or out.

**Day 64.** Martin fills Halloween buckets with her hoping she can wear a mask for trick-or-theaters but he knows that people will know the person isn’t his. He promises they’ll do something fun like watching scary movies. He has to go to a PTA meeting so she asks if the police are still around the school. He says they aren’t as the assumption is that she ran away, which is a good thing since if people snoop around it would be bad for both of them.

**1994.** Dr. Parks asks what stopped her from walking out the door. She states that he made it clear that she had to choose between him and the outside world. She chose him for a long time. They had an unspoken rule that they knew what they were doing was wrong but never talked about it. A sense of suspended disbelief.

**1993, Day 64:** They made a romantic blanket fort in the foyer. She asks how their bubble will end, as it can’t go on forever. While they can, their bubble can’t. He kisses her head and tells her to just watch the movie.

**1994.** By Halloween, Kate was ready to have real conversations but he wasn’t. It’s funny since, before Martin’s, she hated her parents were different people in public than at home. Only she ended up living a secret life with Martin.

**1993, Day 89:** They eat together with her asking if Ben’s gloating is insufferable since Skylin beat Medford, but he hadn’t noticed. She asks about her parents but he’s been buried in work. He asks what’s wrong to which she admits she didn’t expect apples in the stuffing since her mom doesn’t make it that way. He promises they’ll make their own traditions and recipes.

**1994.** Martin made her think that everything she needed was inside with him at all times. But by Christmas Eve she was so homesick it was crushing.

**1993:** Martin brings Kate cookies and tea. She hasn’t gotten out of bed yet and it’s four pm. She wants a soft pretzel from the mall. She misses the mall, the movies, the buttery popcorn, and the people. He points out that they watch tons of movies. She misses sunlight on her skin and other people. She mostly misses the mall. He tells her to stay in bed as long as she wants but has to run some errands.

Martin goes to the mall where Jeanette sees him. She pulls up her hoodie and bikes away as he enters the building. Police cars surround him and he freezes up, slowly raising his hands, but the cops rush past him and into the mall.

Kate comes downstairs where she admires the Christmas decorations and a snow globe on the TV. She picks up the phone and dials Jamie’s number. She doesn’t say anything on the phone but turns the dial on the snow globe, letting it play. She leaves a voicemail.

Jeanette puts her bike down and goes to the front door. Kate hears the door open and Jeanette’s voice. She runs upstairs quickly, while Jeanette yells hello. Jeanette picks up the snow globe when she hears footsteps creaking upstairs. She quickly leaves the house but takes the snow globe with her. Kate comes downstairs to see that Jeanette left her necklace. She picks it up and looks out the window, knocking over a nutcracker.

**1994.** Dr. Parks asks Kate why she didn’t tell Martin about the necklace or Jeanette. Kate thought about it but liked having a secret from Martin, a secret of her own. It felt powerful for her. Dr. Parks thinks Kate may have hoped Jeanette would tell someone so she would be forced to leave. Kate admits that she did leave once.

**1993.** Martin gives Kate the pretzel from the mall, heating it for her. She decides to go to bed early as she doesn’t feel well. That night, she gets up from the bed and sneaks to her old house where she watches her parents from the window. She sees them laughing and drinking, so she goes away. Inside, Joy admits she hasn’t laughed in four months. Her body aches because she misses her so much. Rod keeps picturing her coming back on Christmas Day, smiling, and saying hi dad. Joy asks to cancel Christmas dinner as she doesn’t have it in her. He agrees and holds her in his lap, consoling her.

Kate sneaks back into the house and rejoins Martin in bed. His eyes open.

**1994.** Kate remarks that seeing her parents happy while she was missing reminds her of why she left in the first place.

**1993, Day 119:** Kate opens her last gift from Martin, a pearl necklace. She loves it and he helps her put it on. That night, she wears a red dress and pearls. He tells her she looks stunning. They eat dinner together. He notes that she seems better but she points out that it’s Christmas. She lies that’s the only reason. He asks if she’s feeling guilty for sneaking out.

**1994.** Kate admits that Christmas was the first time she was afraid of him. Dr. Parks points out that Martin was running out of tools to manipulate her with.

**1993, Day 119:** He asks where she went, so she asks him not to be mad. He coolly states that he will decide if he’s angry or not. He repeats the questions. She admits to going to her house, clarifying her old house, just to see her parents. She didn’t go in nor did anyone see her. He asks if she knows how bad it would be if someone saw her, or if she ever thought of him. She notes that she’s suffocating - the circumstances, the hiding, she can’t stand it. He does everything he can to make her happy. He tells her to never go outside again, not until she’s eighteen. She points out what it sounds like; as if he’s her kidnapper. He asks her not to ever say that. She tells him to let her leave, so he asks if that’s really what she wants. She removes the pearls and puts them on the table. He doesn’t believe her but she doesn’t care. He tells her to think about what will happen to him, but she promises not to tell. He points out that people will find out the truth. It also doesn’t look good for her - people were looking for her while she lived here. She’ll figure it out but has to leave. He begs her not to leave as he took her in when no one else would and love each other. She asks where her suitcase is. He tells her it’s in the basement. She apologizes for it ending this way. When she’s out of the room he apologizes too. She goes down the steps but stops at the bottom of the stairs. Martin slowly closes the door which startles her. He locks it with a key. She runs up the stairs to find it locked. He goes to the living room and puts on a vinyl record as she shouts for him to open the door. She bangs on the door screaming for him to open the door, while he listens to the Christmas music.

## Cast

### Starring

* Olivia Holt as Kate Wallis
* Chiara Aurelia as Jeanette Turner
* Froy Gutierrez as Jamie Henson (Credit only)
* Harley Quinn Smith as Mallory Higgins
* Allius Barnes as Vince Fuller (Credit only)
* Blake Lee as Martin Harris
* Michael Landes as Greg Turner
* Brooklyn Sudano as Angela Prescott (Credit only)

### Guest Starring

* Andrea Anders as Joy Wallis
* Benjamin J. Cain Jr as Rod Wallis

### Co-Starring

* Lee Eddy as Sylvia Parks
* Patrick Arnez Grover as Evening News Anchor

## Notes and Trivia

* This episode opened with a trigger warning for grooming and ended with the RAINN's sexual abuse hotline.
* This episode title is a line said by Kate Wallis when referring to keeping a secret from Martin during her isolation, and the admittance of having Jeanette's Necklace,which fell from Jeanette's neck without her knowing.
* This episode has the smallest cast to-date, with only four main cast members, two guest stars, and two co-stars.
* This episode is the first to take place in only two time frames, 1993 and 1994.
* It confirms that Jeanette was indeed inside Martin's house at the time of Kate's isolation, though she might not have actually seen Kate.
* The snow globe hinted at the the end of "Proof" is shown to be a decoration from Martin's house that Jeanette stole, only to give to Mallory. Kate had turned the dial during her call to Jamie, while an old romantic movie played in the background, which led to the traumatic events of the present time frame of 1995.
* The snow-globe that Jeanette had wanted back from Mallory in the previous episode, is revealed to have been a Christmas present from Martin to Kate which was then stolen by Jeanette who eventually gave it Mallory before their falling out.
* In an interview with TVLine, Olivia Holt spoke on the process of filming the episode saying, "*We shot this episode a lot in chronological order because we’re not really bouncing back and forth as much [between] all of the years. Because we were in one location, we were able to shoot everything in the same timeline that you’re seeing it, and I think our last day of shooting was the Christmas dinner scene, and it was really important to get the dialogue correct on that, because that is the ultimate turning point for both Martin and Kate. There is actually a line where they’re sitting at the dinner table and Kate wants to leave and Martin’s not allowing her to, and she says, “You sound a lot like –,” and he cuts her off and says, “What? Your dad?” and she says, “No, my kidnapper.” And that specific interaction is so important for the audience to witness, because I don’t think that Martin had ever planned to kidnap Kate, but I do think that, in a way, her saying that sort of gives him the idea. The dialogue in this episode was incredibly important, and especially in that scene, because of how significant that scene is to the fate of both Martin and Kate’s lives*."

## Gallery

### Videos

Cruel Summer - Season 1, Episode 9 Trailer - Kate Makes A Confession

## Soundtrack

* Linger by No Vacation
* There She Is by Johnny Amoroso
* Laid by The Pains of Being Pure At Heart

## References

1. ↑ https://tvline.com/2021/06/08/cruel-summer-recap-season-1-episode-9-kate-kidnapped-martin/