The Secret... Transcript

## Cheap Things

[Episode starts in the trio's house.)

Number:Look at all this stuff! some of them are so small,and some of them are like *meh*.

Katalin:Yeah,like this donut is 2 times bigger than this burger bun,(She puts it into the hole,and it perfectly fits.) Wait a minute..

Onety One:And these pop tarts are just small pieces of bread with spreading on them,Schedule? why can't we all have the good stuff?

Schedule:Oh um,well..we can have many fancy things if it wasn't forrrrrrrrrrr..(he stops himself from saying the last and repeats the "rrr".)rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

(The quad look at him suspiciously,then he disappears.)

Tip:I wonder what else is cheap in this house,I mean,this is a GPS wand??(The "GPS wand" is just a compass taped to a spoon.)

Number:And this isn't even a real film! it's just some stupid rip-off from the bargain bin!(picks up the cd case,the name on it says "Crazy Toonz" with a old timey black n white pie eyed cartoon styled mouse wearing a hoodie.)

Katalin:And this is a portable telephone??(The portable telephone is just a calculator taped to a walkie talkie. )

(The real phone rings.)

Onety-One:(Picks up the phone.) Hello?

Stranger Caller:Don't check the attic..oh wait,DARN IT!! (Hangs up)

Onety-One:Guys,we have something interesting to check out..

## In the Attic

Katalin:Where are we gonna start looking?

Tip:Maybe this box.(Picks up a nearby small box.)

Number:NO! Wait.DON'T!!

Onety One:What the??(He pulls out three photos from the box,[Close-up]the pictures show Number and Barnaby hanging out together,the picture in the center is circled with a heart with a red marker.)

Onety One:Whoa..DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDEEE!! You are seriously in love with Barnaby..(silently giggles.)

Number:..(She leans against a grandfather clock,but it moves and she falls down.)

Number:OUCH!!

(The sunlight suddenly reflects off the mirror behind,then a snow globe,a shaving mirror,and then it stops at one of the floorboards.)

Katalin:Whoa!(She kneels down and slowly pulls the board.underneath it is a bunch of old bank statements and a key.)According to this statement,it says here that Schedule and Slacker used to have a lot of money,but then most of it is given away to some company named Starry Homes Inc.

Number:(Points to the key.)Wait a minute! Have I seen that thing before? I can't quite remember...

## The Key and Hypnosis

(At night,inside the trio's room.)

Katalin(With hypnosis eyes.):You ready?

Number:Yeah.

Katalin:1,2,3,SLEEP!!

Number(Trance):(Instantly falls asleep.) Ok..I remember..I was 9 years old..I'm with Schedule,and he gives me the key after locking his suitcase and hiding it under his bed..

Flashback Schedule:Please,promise that you're not gonna tell anyone about this...

Number(Trance):Uh-oh! I'm remembering my past lives!!..I'm a school teacher! that's boring..I'm a mortician! that's totally creepy..Farmer! meh..Librarian!!..really boring..Banker!!..also boring..Prospector!!.bori--Wait,what? go back a little..

(Prospector finds gold,they get happy and starts dancing with leprachaun kicks.)

Number:That's not so bad! I just found some gold! Oh wait,I'm not the prospector...I'm the mule!

(The past life mule turns around at the camera showing an ugly face.."HEE HAAAWW!!")

Katalin:(Shaking Number)Wake up! We know about the key now!!

Number:(Gasps)I am a hypnotist..LOOK INTO MY EYES(Opens her eyes and hypnotizes Katalin.)

(Suddenly,a magnet tied to a string grabs the key through the window.)

Tip:(Notices.)What the?? HEY!! GIMME THAT!! (starts yanking the key from the magnet.)

Number:You are allergic to cheese!! CHEESE!! (Katalin sneezes.)

Katalin:(Hypnotizes back.)Your body is heavier than stone! (Half of Number's body crashes through the floor.)

Onety-One:Girls,STOP!(Splashes water at them out of their trances.)

Number:What happened?

Tip:Somebody tried to steal the key! (He shows the key in his hand.)

Onety One:Whatever Schedule bought must be in that suitcase..

(Number sneaks into Schedule's room,she gets the suitcase,puts in the key and opens it,her face turned to disappointment.)

## The "Adventure"

(Back inside the room,Number shows a piece of paper with doodles on it and a old shovel.)

Number:This is what was in the suitcase.

Katalin:So Schedule spent all of that much money on just some rusty ol' shovel and a piece of paper.

Onety One:It could lead to some kind of treasure!

(The 4 friends go outside at 2:00 am.)

Number:Looks like we have to go on foot,(Points to the bicycles with all of their wheels popped.)someone is trying to slow us down..

(The squad is led to an old mailbox in the rain.)

Tip:**THIS IS IT?! AN OLD MAILBOX?? THIS IS ALL NOTHING BUT A WILD GOOSE CHASE!! WE JUST CAME OUT HERE IN A MIDDLE OF NOWHERE IN 2:00 AM IN THE POURING RAIN!! AND THIS IS IT?!? I MEAN,WHAT'S THE SHOVEL EVEN FOR??**

Katalin:(Grabs the shovel.)I'll show you what it's for...(Starts hitting the mailbox,[BANG!!]THIS IS FOR GIVING US NOTHING!![BANG!!]THIS IS FOR LEADING US INTO NOWHERE!![BANG!! BANG!! BANG!!]AND THAT'S FOR NOT RESPONDING TO MY HITS!!

Tip:(Kicks the mailbox)

Onety-One:WAIT A MINUTE!! this isn't just doodles,(Shows the paper.)this is actually a map! look! there's this mailbox that you guys just beaten up,and there is this creepy windmill,and this must be a forest!(Points to the x in the forest drawing on the map.)according to this map,it says that the treasure should be near a creepy twisted tree in a clearing! C'mon!

Number(Nervous):Umm..We better get there fast! LOOK! (Points to a light coming from the horizon.)

(The quad run for their lives into the corn field until Number hits a tree face-first.)

Number(Lisp):Found the forest..

## The Truth

(The quad finds a creepy old tree just like in their map,they start digging.)

Katalin:(Hits something metallic.)I think I hit something! It must be the treasure!

(Suddenly,a strange man comes by.)

Strange man:STOP!

Number:..Slacker??

Strange Man(Slacker Boy):NO! I mean...(uses his normal voice.)..(Sighs.)Yes..it's me..go ahead.

(The squad opens the treasure,inside,it reveals another bank statement and a edviction notice.)

Number:Explain this..

(Schedule appears from nowhere,he explains the story with Slacker.)

Slacker:It all started 4 years ago when we used to live in a apartment,we were forced to leave because of our cruel landlord,so I looked in the internet for some help for finding a new home..and that's when I made my biggest mistake,I should have waited for the screen to finish loading,but instead,I just clicked the payment button..I was gonna get the money back,but Starry Homes was shut down,so in my shame..I hid the evidence..

Schedule:It's not just that,we were worried that our new home-mates will not like us,so he "bought"a star..

Slacker:I say that as long the star shines,our love and friendship for each other will last..

(The squad and the two gaze at the star,ending the episode.)