Kestrel

Hannibal (Adoptive Son)

Nova (Adoptive Daughter)

## Application Sheet

Kestrel was a white-and-gray she-wolf with emerald green eyes. This timid soul became part of Blutwald, and then a loner before joining Heyl (later Heylguard, before reverting to Heyl once more). She won the heart of Fitu, becoming his mate and alpha female. They had four pups together: Sigurd, Andi, Eir, and Vindur, and adopted a son, named Hannibal, and served as adoptive mother to Nova as well. When Fitu decided to make Poppy leader in his stead, Kestrel witnessed her eldest son attempt to take Poppy's life, and the life of his brother Han. The pack fell apart, and Kestrel remained in Heyl's lands until the last of the remaining Heylians had found a new home. She then chose to leave the Domain, to find her beloved Fitu, and hasn't been seen since. She was created and RP'd by LESter66.

## Personality

* ***Submissive and Unassertive.*** Due to her background with a very strict hierarchal pack (see Pre-Group history,) Kestrel is, on the outside, a very unassertive she-wolf.  She occupied nearly the lowest rank in her pack and is so used to being mistreated by her superiors that it has become part of her nature to accept it most of the time.  She will do whatever she is told to the best of her ability and will accept any punishment for doing something wrong.  Her time as a loner and in Heyl have raised her confidence in her own ability to the point where she no longer assumes she is in the wrong. She is quiet in a conversation, however, and will only assert her opinion if if becomes necessary.
* ***Laid-back and Peaceful.*** However, while her place in her birth pack has forced her to be submissive, Kestrel does not truly feel inferior most of the time.  She preferred to think of her low rank as a peace-keeping role.  She often used her naturally laid-back, fair nature to help break up fights before they even began.
* ***Fun-loving*.** Since she accepts misfortune and punishment as a fact of life, she is very good at appreciating the little things in life.  As long as no one is expecting something of her immediately, she is probably smiling, enjoying the sunshine or the birds or a pretty flower or whatever else catches her fancy.
* ***Caring*.** She genuinely cared for all her birth pack except the truly cruel ones, regardless of how they treated her.  She loves others and is very giving of herself, always wanting to make others' lives better, though she will usually do what she can in a quiet, out-of-the-way fashion.  She has a soft spot for pups and loves playing with them and telling them funny stories.
* ***Private and Quiet.*** Having had a sense of propriety beaten into her head since birth, for the most part, this occasionally sarcastic, fun-loving wolf hides her true nature in her thoughts.  In her head, she will always have something to say, but only someone very close to her would know the *real* Kestrel.
* ***Polite*.** The only face she usually shows others is very polite and proper.  She is very careful about her speech.  She doesn't like to offend anyone.
* ***Loyal*.** She is pretty slow to trust anyone (again, see info on her past), but if you are patient with her and she comes to respect you, she is capable of being an excellent friend.  She is a good listener if you need someone to lean on, and she would lay down her life for her friends.
* ***Self-Reliant*.** Kestrel is becoming more comfortable with herself and her own abilities, and is beginning to take pride in her ability to remain strong despite adversity.
* ***Traumatized and Distressed.*** The events leading up to the fall of Heyl have left Kestrel beaten down, confused, grieving... lost. This manifests itself in multiple ways; she can be found staring into space often, seemingly lost in thought, but if roused she will become terrified until she remembers where she is. She is prone to both listlessness and overemotional/uncontrollable crying or outbursts, depending on the day.

## Pre-Group History

Kestrel was born in a pack whose territory is quite far north, on the very edge of the tundra, in a sparse, cold forest, and life there was harsh. Her pack believed that in order for the pack to survive, no weak members would be tolerated. The only way to move up the ranks was to challenge your superiors and prove you were stronger by winning the fight, and such fights often ended in the death of one of the wolves. Kestrel, with her small build and non-competitive nature, struggled just to survive at the bottom of the social ladder.

Then, she made the mistake of falling in love, or at least thinking she had. He was a stranger, a lone wolf traveling through the area, a year older than her. He was the first wolf in her life to ever make her feel special and wanted, which she realizes now was why she was blind to his many faults.  Her superiors viewed him as a threat and gave her one chance to promise never to see him again.  In her youth and foolishness, she refused, and was driven out of the pack forever.  They nearly killed her- she only escaped by jumping into a rushing river, where a combination of luck and her skill at swimming bore her, exhausted, to the other bank.

So she found herself alone in the world with a male who had never truly cared for her, and the more he revealed his true nature, the more she came to realize she didn’t need him. Finally, she left him, and ever since then she has been a loner herself, trying to find her place in the world, never staying in one place for long, a little uncertain about opening her heart to anyone again.  But now, she is growing tired of the wandering life. She misses the stability of having a pack, of having friends. She’s ready for a change.

## Group History

As a loner, Kestrel met a *lot* of wolves - particularly other loners, such as Raven, Thea (who she hunted with), and Alcatraz. However, she was living near the borders of a very dangerous territory, that of Blutwald, and she had to be very careful when she met pack wolves. Fortunately, the Blutwalders she met didn't hurt her: Stallion told her of the pack's laws and offered her a place to stay once he became the alpha. She took him up on his offer, but *quite* a while after he had taken over. He found her, starving and injured, at the border, and brought her back to recover, tended to by his mate Winema. While she was recovering, though, Stallion vanished, and Winema became the alpha in her mate's absence.

After taking up the task of Guardian, Kestrel began to meet her new packmates, such as Sarafina. The pair tried hunting together after Kestrel was struggling to bring down prey herself.

Kestrel was distressed by the declaration of war with Aryn. She fled to gather her thoughts, and near the border, she met Nahimana, who told her about the pack she intended to create to worship the spirits of nature. Nahi told her that the gods walked the earth, and the pack she planned to create would protect their sanctuary. Kestrel, distressed, admitted that she didn't think the gods walked the earth - wolves fought and killed one another in wars, why would the gods *want* to walk amongst the living? Nahi tried offering some reassurance, and Kestrel decided that, even if she didn't leave Blutwald to follow Nahimana, she was glad to have met the loner.

When Winema called for a war party, Kestrel didn't want to participate, but she forced her fears away and volunteered to fight Aryn, to rescue her packmates, Crash and Bloom. The war party was composed of Kestrel, Winema herself, Caspian, Estella, and Ruebane. Kestrel was nervous, but allowed herself to relax a bit when Athena released her prisoners. A loner named Rhaegan, however, *wanted* there to be bloodshed, and he attacked, forcing the Blutwalders to believe Athena had betrayed them, and Aryn to believe *Blutwald* were responsible. A battle ensued.

Kestrel regretted fighting against the pack of an old acquaintance, Alcatraz, but she had to defend her pack (and herself). She entered a standoff against Gabitrix, but after injuring the white she-wolf, Kestrel couldn't stand watching her pack fall apart around her, couldn't stand hurting other wolves, and so, she fled the battle, and Blutwald, forever.

A loner again, Kestrel met other wolves - Brunhilda and Quentin. Still, she hesitated to seek out another pack. She felt compelled to seek Alcatraz again, and they met with the fondness of long-separated friends, instead of former enemies on the battlefield. He reported the death of Sarafina to her (the only casualty of the Blutwald-Aryn War) and asked her if she wanted to find a home in Aryn. Kestrel wanted to join the pack, but worried that the memories of the cold war and the fiery last battle would be too much to live with, and she politely declined. They bade each other farewell on good terms.

Her wanderings took her near a new pack - Heyl. She met Fitu and was immediately a bit smitten by him, and he told her about his pack. Introductions were awkward, but eventually he explained that he was the alpha, and offered Kestrel a place. She was hesitant, but agreed to give pack life another try, and followed him back to his home.

She spent a lot of time with Fitu, learning about the pack, exploring the territory, fishing, and enjoying his company. She began developing feelings for the white-furred male, but kept these feelings the best to herself she could. The two were once attacked by a mountain lion, but managed to escape with their lives, working as a team to escape.

She also became familiar with her other packmates. She met Fallen and spoke to her about tasks, and did the same with Cloud. She suggested Cloud become a Cave Watchman, and he suggested she try becoming whatever she thought suited her best.

The Domain was shaken by a massive earthquake. Kestrel was rattled, but survived, but things began to change for Heyl and its neighboring pack, Dawnguard. The two packs' territories flooded, and Fitu and Dawnguard's alpha Nahimana decided to unite their packs as Heylguard. Kestrel followed her new pack to its new territory to the west. She also kept her feelings silent as she saw Fitu falling for Nahi.

Their arrival in their new territory was heralded by disaster. A herd of elk were found dead, and nobody knew the reason. The sickness that followed this alarming find (caused by algae bloom in the water) would be known as the Curse of Pajackok. Kestrel was wary as events unfolded, but tried to go about her duties as usual. She'd become an Envoy for the pack. She adored Fitu's kid sister Poppy and took her exploring.

Several refugees from Havir arrived in the pack - Ruston, Aphrodi, Koudem, and Siobhan - and Kestrel became close to Siobhan. Siobhan was a new mother, a surrogate to Ruston and Aphrodi's pups, and had her own romance issues with Koudem (who was not her mate, but she loved him). The two she-wolves discussed their respective love lives.

Kestrel felt the same grief as the rest of her pack when Nahimana fell sick and died. She left behind Fitu's only daughter, Nova, without a mother. Fitu was ill, too, and he called Kestrel to him. He explained his fear that he would die and leave Nova without *anyone*. He asked Kestrel to adopt Nova, and she agreed, vowing to be a good parent and mentor to the little she-wolf, now that she had no mother.

Time passed. Kestrel met a loner named Akuto, but usually remained within the territory. Fitu and Kestrel rekindled their prior closeness, bonding over raising Nova and their shared worries about the pack and the sickness. Eventually, they confessed their love for one another, but they didn't feel ready to become mates. Not in this tragedy. Nova decided to leave the pack, unwilling to watch her packmates sicken and die anymore. Fitu's health declined, too, and Kestrel fell apart with grief.

Kestrel patrolled the borders in her free time, to warn loners of the danger of encroaching on the territory - she warned Samwell not to drink from the potentially poisonous streams.

Fortunately, the plague lessened its grasp on Heylguard. With the spring thaw, the return of Asterion, Samhradh, and Saphira with Fellfang Witch-Doctors Grendel and Winema, and the decision to return the pack to Heyl's original territory, the pack recovered. *Fitu* recovered. Kestrel and Fitu could finally, *finally* relax...and maybe...become an official couple?

Kestrel was promoted to Beta Envoy that summer, and sometime thereafter, Fitu asked her to become his mate. Kestrel agreed, overjoyed at the proposition. Fitu did have another proposition, too - would Kestrel lead Khione and Rocko to Fellfang, to check on their ally and offer them some kind of gift in exchange for their aid during the Curse of Pajackok? Kestrel was willing to do so.

The trio of Heylians were stopped at the border by Baely, who informed them that they would not be allowed to enter. Their Jarl, Fable, wasn't allowing visitors (he was subject to the manipulations of a fox posing as the trickster spirit Valda, but Baely didn't reveal this). Khione suggested one of them remain behind to keep an eye on things, against Baely's wishes, and Kestrel assigned Rocko to remain, before returning to report this change in circumstance to Fitu.

Upon returning, Kestrel introduced herself to some new packmates, like Ri Chu and Kesta. Around this time, Kestrel discovered that she was, in fact, pregnant! She told Fitu, who was overjoyed at the second chance at a family. He took precautions, having wolves accompany her on her duties, such as Crow. Four pups would be born: Sigurd, Andi, Eir, and Vindur. Fitu also found an orphaned pup at the same time as Kestrel was nursing the puppies, and they adopted this pup too, naming him Hannibal.

Kestrel had to put on her 'alpha female' hat sometimes, though, and make tough decisions. Kesta approached her to reveal that he'd lied about his identity (calling himself Heron up to this point) and admitted he was from Highvalley. Kestrel was alarmed and angered by the lie, but when he explained himself, and asked permission to check on Highvalley after its massive flood, Kestrel saw the value in this and agreed to speak to Fitu about it.

Fitu decided he would send his best Envoy, Kestrel, to check on Highvalley. Kesta was relieved he wasn't going to be kicked out of Heyl, and was equally relieved someone was checking on his birth pack. There, Kestrel caught up with former Heylians Livia and Eros (Siobhan's daughters) and returned home.

Other problems needed to be discussed by Kestrel and Fitu. Fitu told her that he didn't want to be the alpha anymore, and he suggested that they make Poppy alpha in his place. Kestrel voiced her doubts - Poppy had been away for so long, what would wolves think of welcoming a Highvalley wolf as their new leader? She'd betrayed them by abandoning them to die at the hands of the Curse. Eventually, Fitu managed to convince her, that if she and Poppy went on a pilgrimage together, then perhaps Kestrel would agree to Poppy's leadership. But she would need to prove her loyalty to Heyl for a time, before Fitu proposed the idea to her.

Shortly after, Heyl was made aware of dramatic events in other packs. Athena and Alcatraz of Aryn had been assassinated. Kestrel grieved: she'd genuinely liked Alcatraz and considered him her oldest friend, and respected Athena. Their loss felt like a massive blow to Kestrel, and the Domain as a whole. What's more, news reached Heyl that Highvalley had left the Domain after the death of its king, Rodwen. Kestrel was stunned by this development, and it filled her with a sense of foreboding. How easy it was for a pack to simply vanish, for their lands to be as wild as they were before a pack had settled there...

She turned to family issues. She and Fitu, when the pups were still young, had discussed whether or not they should tell Hannibal if he was adopted, and decided that was the best thing to do - no family secrets as the kids grew up. So, they approached Hannibal (now a young adult) and told him, assuring him that they didn't love him any less just because he was adopted. Hannibal, however, felt betrayed. Externally, he played it off as if he already knew, and he insisted that he was at peace with it. Privately, however, he vowed never to forgive his parents for letting him believe he was their son for so long, and dealt with his angst alone. Only, he wasn't alone. He was with his brother and best friend, Eir. Ready to conspire.

Kestrel was unaware of this, though. She thought her son was handling the news very well. She and Fitu approached Poppy and told her of their plans to give the title of alpha to her, and she was stunned, but accepted, with Kestrel's terms of going on a pilgrimage. Fitu made the announcement to the pack, and Kestrel and Poppy set off.

Kestrel's sons were not happy with this development, though, and followed their mother and aunt into the forest. Hannibal tried to distract Kestrel so Eir could kill Poppy, but he got cold feet at the last minute, and begged Eir to stop. Eir turned his fangs on Hannibal as Kestrel watched in horror.

What happened next, happened fast. Eir ran off, Poppy ran off, and Hannibal was left grievously injured at her paws. She did the only thing she could, and ran back to Heyl, to get help for Hannibal, to warn her packmates that Eir had attacked Poppy. It was all she could do, she needed *help!* She got back to the den and discovered, to her horror, that Eir was responsible for the deaths of Asterion and Samhradh, the pack's betas. And Fitu? Fitu...left. He couldn't pull the pack back together after this, and he left. Kestrel wanted to go with him, but she still had responsibilities to her pack as their alpha (responsibilities Fitu was willing to leave behind). She would remain with her packmates, to help them through their grief and to figure out their next steps in life.

Kestrel confirmed the rumors that Eir had tried to kill Poppy, to Ruzan, and to Orion and Leo, the betas' sons, as well. The news spread from there. Only these four wolves, and Laur, the Medicine Keeper, remained in Heyl's territory, and they too would leave one by one. Orion remained, in deep depression, and tried to speak to Kestrel about the whole thing. How had she let her son get to this point? To the point of murder? And why had she remained instead of fleeing with Fitu? Kestrel didn't have answers, but she wanted to do her best to help her packmates until they could move on. Orion forgave her, but would never forgive her son for taking his parents.

Eventually, though, Orion and Leo decided to leave Heyl's caverns, and Kestrel found herself finally able to leave the territory and seek out her mate. She loved Fitu, and he probably needed her, to help him with coping with the horrible destruction of their pack. Now that her responsibilities as alpha were completed, she could turn her attention to tending to her mate. They would get a fresh start outside of the Domain.

And they have not returned since.

## Trivia

* Kestrel felt it was her duty to remain in Heyl until the last Heylians found the motivation to move on - even if it meant she was separated from her beloved Fitu for so long. She did eventually manage to reunite with him outside of the Domain.
* Kestrel has a major stutter. It was already somewhat present before the battle against Aryn, but it grew significantly worse after.

## Quotes

* "Do you...truly believe that...beings such as those [gods]...would come to walk in a place such as this? I-I m-mean...there are so many wolves here that...we're all...we fight. We start wars and we hurt everyone and we *lie* to our friends and ourselves, *and we're cowards and we run from it all!*" (questioning the existence of Nahimana's gods, *Uncertain Future*)
* “I ag-greed b-because I-I l-love my mate. What he n-n-needed… what he *n-needs* most f-from me r-right now is m-my sup-p-port. You’re n-not wr-wrong. I w-was… s-surp-prised. A-And unsure. Th-This t-trip w-was act-tually th-the r-reason wh-why I accept-ted h-his decision… I d-don’t know i-if y-you’re th-the b-best ch-choice, P-Poppy. But i-if y-you’re w-willing to *acc-cept* th-the m-mistakes of y-your p-past and *l-learn…* I th-think y-you could *b-bec-come* the l-leader y-your b-brother th-thinks y-you are.”
	+ ***Simplified:*** "I agreed [to make you alpha] because I love my mate. What he needed...what he needs most from me right now is my support. You're not wrong. I was surprised. And unsure. This trip was actually the reason why I accepted his decision. I don't know if you're the best choice, Poppy. But if you're wiling to *accept* the mistakes of your past and *learn*, I think you could become the leader your brother thinks you are." (to Poppy, *The Coup*)

## External Links

* Official Application Sheet
* LESter66's deviantART Gallery