The Sucky Outdoors

**The Sucky Outdoors** is the sixth episode from *Total Drama Island*, the first season of *Total Drama*.

## Characters

* Chris McLean
* Leshawna
* Owen
* Gwen
* Izzy
* Beth *(no lines)*
* Lindsay
* Heather
* Trent
* Courtney
* Cody *(no lines)*
* Duncan
* Harold *(no lines)*
* Sadie
* Tyler *(no lines)*
* Katie
* DJ
* Geoff
* Bridgette
* Interns *(mentioned)*
* Pizza Delivery Guy
* Cameraman
* Bunny
* Owen's Grandpa
* Bear
* Chef Hatchet *(no lines)*

## Recap

* **Chris:** Last time on Total Drama Island. A talent contest brought out the worst in our campers. It was awesome! The Killer Bass struggled to find any talent on their team, and Bridgette's clumsiness pretty much knocked out their best prospect: Courtney. Gwen stood up to Heather, so Heather swore to make Gwen's life miserable by stealing her diary, then she read it in front of the entire viewing world, revealing that Gwen has a secret crush on someone at camp. Then, Heather managed to save her butt by convincing the rest of the team to vote off Justin McGorgeousness. Who will be the next one to walk off this crappy dock? Find out tonight, in the most dramatic marshmallow ever on Total, Drama, Island. *(theme song)*

## Opening: The Outdoor Challenge

* **Chris:** Campers, today's challenge will test your outdoor survival skills. I'm not gonna lie to you, some of you may not come back alive. *(the campers gasp)* Just joking. *(laughs)* All you have to do is spend one night in the woods. Everything you need is at your team's campsite in the forest. *(takes out two maps from his backpack)* You just have to find it. *(tosses the maps and compasses to Heather and Duncan, instead of Courtney)* Oh, and watch out for bears. Lost a couple of interns during pre-production. *(Courtney angrily snatches the map and compass from Duncan, Gwen leaves sadly, followed by an angered Heather)* First team back for breakfast wins invincibility. *(blows the airhorn)* Well, off you go.
* **Leshawna:** Did he say there are *bears* up in here?
* **Owen:** I had a little encounter with a bear once. Let's just say his head looks real nice up on my mantel. *(leaves)*
* **Izzy:** Oh, this one time I saw a bear eating our garbage, he had old spaghetti noodles hanging from his huge big teeth, and it looked like blood and guts.
* **Lindsay:** Whoa.
* **Izzy:** It was so gross and we thought he was eating the neighbor's cat Simba, but it turned out he was just lost for a week. Uh, you didn't eat spaghetti, did you? *(Lindsay shakes her head nervously)* Good, let's go! *(Lindsay gulps nervously)*

## Walking in the Woods

* *(Scene changes to the Screaming Gophers walking out in the woods. Trent sees Gwen.)*
* **Trent:** Hey, Gwen, wait up. *(runs up to Gwen)* Can I walk with you?
* **Gwen:** *(downtrodden)* No.
* **Trent:** Hey, if this is about that whole diary thing... *(a dejected Gwen continues walking alone, upsetting Trent)*
* *(Scene switches to the Killer Bass walking.)*
* **Katie:** Sadie, look blueberries!
* **Sadie:** *(gasps)* I love, love, love blueberries!
* **Katie:** Oh my gosh, me too!

## Katie and Sadie are BFFFLs

* **Katie:** *(in the confessional with Sadie)* Sadie and I BFFFLs.
* **Sadie:** Best Female Friends For Life.
* **Katie:** We even got the chicken pox together.
* **Sadie:** Oh my gosh that was so fun!
* **Katie:** It was so nice to have someone scratch your little scabs.
* **Sadie:** I know, right?

## Heather Still Mad About the Red Ant Farm

* *(Gwen continues walking dejectedly. Heather scratches her wounds)*
* **Heather:** Ugh, she is so the next one to leave!
* **Trent:** Who?
* **Heather:** Who do you think? She dumped Harold's red ant farm into my bed!
* **Trent:** Yeah, but you did read her diary out loud to the entire world. *(she stops walking, forcing the Gophers to bump into each other)*
* **Heather:** So?
* **Trent:** So, that was pretty harsh
* **Heather:** She is going down! *(continues walking along with the rest of the Gophers)*

## Katie and Sadie Get Lost

* *(Scene switches back to Katie and Sadie.)*
* **Katie:** Okay, those were so yummy! Can you believe how yummy those were?
* **Sadie:** They were so yummy. *(notices they lost the rest of the Bass)* Katie. Where's the rest of the team?
* **Katie:** I don't know. They must be nearby. Killer Bass, where are you?
* **Sadie:** Killer Bass? *(gasps)* This is just like when we were seven and we lost our moms at the mall.
* **Katie:** And you started to cry and the security guards had to like, page our moms and they were so mad.
* **Sadie:** Oh my gosh, like take pill. We're fine! *(they stand silent for a few seconds and start panicking)* Killer Bass, where are you? (**Katie:** Killer Bass!)

## The Gophers Arrive at Their Campsite

* *(Scene switches to the Gophers at the campsite.)*
* **Owen:** Uh, there's no food in here.
* **Trent:** This is a survival task, look at the instructions.
* **Owen:** I wonder if there are any bears around here. Wouldn't it be funny if we made some bear sounds and then they came? *(he and Izzy laugh)*
* **Izzy:** That would be so funny.
* **Owen:** *(imitating a bear's growl)* I'M A BEAR!!
* **Heather:** Will you please shut up, I'm trying to read here! It says we're supposed to find our own food. I still don't see it.
* **Trent:** I think they mean in the woods.
* **Owen:** I'll go, I'm good at finding food.
* **Heather:** Well, at least this will be a good week for my diet.

## Katie and Sadie Start Arguing

* *(Scene switches back to Katie and Sadie still lost in the woods.)*
* **Sadie:** You don't know where we are, do you?
* **Katie:** Yes... okay, no, but it's so not my fault, have you ever noticed all these trees look the same.
* **Sadie:** Oh, I knew I should've known better than to listen to you.
* **Katie:** *(offended)* What, you don't think I'm smart enough to find them?
* **Sadie:** Well, you're not the best with, like, directions.
* **Katie:** Yuh-huh I am.
* **Sadie:** Nuh-uh. Apparently you're not. Because we're L-O-S-T, lost! *(Katie blows a raspberry)*

## Bringing Fish

* *(Scene switches back to the Gophers waiting for Owen to return with the food.)*
* **Heather:** Ugh, I am soo hungry.
* **Izzy:** Ah, ugh, I think my stomach ate my stomach.
* **Pizza Delivery Guy:** Yo, who ordered the pepperoni, extra cheese? *(the cameraman raises his hand)*
* **Cameraman:** It's for the camera crew, over here.
* **Heather:** *(gasps)* No way! *(Owen comes back with fish)*
* **Owen:** I am man! I bring fish!
* **Heather:** Are you kidding me?
* **Trent:** Oh man, you're awesome.
* **Izzy:** Oh, I love fish, I love fish! *(eats it uncooked, shocking the Gophers)* I guess we should cook it first, huh?
* **Heather:** How did you know how to fish?
* **Owen:** My grandpa taught me. I caught a shark once, it bit me in the butt. Check it out *(moons the Gophers, disgusting them)*
* **Lindsay:** Oh, my eyes, my eyes!
* **Izzy:** That is so awesome!

## Katie and Sadie Break Up Their Friendship

* **Katie:** Well, at least I know how to drive. You, you have to walk, girl. Now who's smarter?
* **Sadie:** Trip to the beach last year, ring a bell?
* **Katie:** Oh, I can't believe you're bringing that up! I did have a fetched bikini on that day though.
* **Sadie:** You drove my mom's car into a snack shack!
* **Katie:** It was totally in my blind spot, whatever. If it wasn't for me, you'd be riding the bus to the mall!
* **Sadie:** Well, if it weren't *for me*, you wouldn't be able to find your way to the mall!
* **Katie:** Oh, I *know* my way to the mall! *(while they continue arguing, two squirrels up on a tree mock them and laugh)*
* **Sadie:** You lean on me! If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be on this show!
* **Katie:** *(gasps)* You're just saying that because I'm prettier than you!
* **Sadie:** *(gasps)* I knew you'd thought that!
* **Katie:** It's true. Everybody thins so. *(in the confessional with Sadie)* Sadie's like the prettiest girl I know.
* **Sadie:** Aww, well you're the prettiest girl I know.
* **Katie:** Well, we are pretty aren't we?
* **Sadie:** Don't you love that we can say that to each other and not sound so totally conceited?
* **Katie:** I love that about us!
* **Sadie:** *(gasps)* Me too! *(switches back to them arguing)* That's it, when we get back to camp, we are so splitting up as BFFFLs! *(leaves)*
* **Katie:** Fine!
* **Sadie:** Double fine!

## The Killer Bass' Campsite

* *(Scene switches to the Killer Bass building their campsite.)*
* **Geoff:** *(tries to compliment Bridgette)* Wow, you pinch a tent like a guy! *(Bridgette doesn't seem flattered. Geoff immediately regretted saying that, in the confessional)* "Wow, you pinch a tent like a guy?!" *(facepalms)* I mean, you're not all girly about getting dirty and stuff.
* **Bridgette:** *(sarcastically)* Gee, thanks.
* **Duncan:** What's for dinner, woman, I'm starving.
* **Courtney:** Don't expect to dignify that with a response!
* **DJ:** Hey, guys, look what I found. *(he found a wild bunny. It coughs like a man)*
* **Duncan:** Well I never had rabbit stew before, but what the heck, I'm game.
* **DJ:** *(sighs)* This is my new pet. I'm calling him Bunny.
* **Courtney:** You couldn't find any food? *(sighs)* Then it looks like we're eating grubs and berries for dinner.
* **Duncan:** Has anyone seen Tweedledum and Tweedleidiot (Katie and Sadie)?

## Katie and Sadie Find a Cave

* **Sadie:** Katie, look, a tree with the fork in it, that's good, right?
* **Katie:** No, it's not good. It's the same tree we saw two hours ago! We just walked in a gigantic circle! *(an owl hoots. This frightens the girls, they scream and run inside a cave)* We'll be safe here until morning. *(a bat circles in, frightening Sadie)*
* **Sadie:** *(shrieks as the bat chases her and leaves her alone, she sits on a rock)* We're going to die, here! We're going to die here! *(Katie feels worried and bad for Sadie. Scene blackens out)*

## Owen's Story; The Gophers Encounter a Bear

* *(Scene fades in with the Gophers gathering, grilling their food.)*
* **Owen:** Okay, fire's hot, fish are grilling, tent is tenting.
* **Trent:** Nice going, man. Fish looks awesome.
* **Owen:** Thanks, man. I owe it all to grandpa.
* **Trent:** So you and your grandpa really fought a bear once?
* **Owen:** Heck yes. It was the scariest day of my entire life. *(the Gophers look intimidated, except for Heather who rolls her eyes, not believing Owen's story)* We were out in the woods when we came upon the Great Beast. I tell you he was ten feet tall if he was a foot! And then he roared his terrible roar! ROAAAAAAAR! We grabbbed our shotgun, we knew it was either him or us. Nothing person, just the law of the wild. And then, BAM! One shot was all it took to fail the Great Beast. We took his blood and marked oursevles to honor him. It was a good death.
* **Heather:** Yeah, right, there's no way you took down a ten-foot bear. *(looks around and notices Izzy is gone)* Hey, has anyone seen Crazy Girl?
* **Lindsay:** I think she had to pee.
* **Trent:** That was over an hour ago. *(shouts)* Izzy! Izzy!
* **Owen:** Izzy the Gopher where are you?! *(a bush is heard shaking. He laughs)* Good, I thought we lost you there for a minute. *(a bear comes out from the bush, shocking Owen)* GREAT PYRAMID OF GIZA!! *(the Gophers see this as well and are horrified. Owen screams, Cody pees his pants)* WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!! *(runs in circle)* We're going to get eaten alive by a bear! Oh, the horror! Somebody help us, I want my mommy! *(Heather gets irritated and trips Owen)*
* **Heather:** The trees, climb into the trees!

## Duncan's Scary Story

* *(The scene switches to the Bass gathering at their campsite. An owl hoots, scaring Bridgette, she sighs.)*
* **DJ:** Be cool, it's just an owl.
* **Bridgette:** Sorry, I just get really freaked out in the forest.
* **Duncan:** This reminds me of this scary story I heard once.
* **Geoff:** Awesome! Tell it, man.
* **Duncan:** Are you sure? Because the story I'm thinking of is pretty hardcore.
* **Courtney:** *(rolls her eyes, sarcastically)* Ooh, we're so scared.
* **Duncan:** All right, but don't say I didn't warn you. *(begins his story)* One night, a lot like this one. So suddenly, they- they heard this tap tap tapping on the side of the car. The girls started to freak out. And by the time the guy was getting a bit scared. So he turned the car, he stepped on it. When they got back to the girl's house, she opened the door and screamed because there was hanging from the door handle... was the bloody hook. *(the Bass start getting nervous)* They say that this killer is still alive wandering these very woods. He could just about be anywhere, really. Maybe even right here!! *(takes out a hook prop in his hand. The Bass scream in horror. He cackles maniacally)*
* **Courtney:** Duncan, that was so not funny!
* **Duncan:** Oh, yes it was. I just wish it was all on camera! Oh, oh wait, it is!
* **Courtney:** You are so vile! Do your parents even like you?
* **Duncan:** I don't know Jumpy McChicken, I haven't asked them lately. *(a wolf howls, frightening Courtney as she cuddles close to Duncan. Geoff gives a thumbs up to Duncan.)*

## Izzy Was the Bear the Whole Time?!

* *(Scene switches to the Gophers on a tree. The bear remains where the Gophers are.)*
* **Trent:** So what do we do now?
* **Heather:** Don't look at me.
* **Gwen:** It was your idea to climb the trees.
* **Heather:** Well why don't you ask the bear hunting expert. Hey, Owen, what now?
* **Owen:** How should I know?
* **Leshawna:** Dude, you said you killed a bear.
* **Owen:** I was being theatrical.
* **Heather:** This is all your fault! If you hadn't been growling like that, we never would have attracted him to our sight!
* **Owen:** *(breaks down)* Excuse me for living! *(sobs. He bangs his head on the tree)*
* **Trent:** Hey, hey, hey, ease up on the guy, he did bring us all the fish. *(the bear sniffs the fish)*
* **Heather:** Hey! Lay off our fish!
* **Lindsay:** It's probably already eaten Izzy!
* **Heather:** Then it shouldn't be hungry anymore. *(Gwen and Trent are surprised at Heather's comment)* What? This is survival of the fittest, she should've peed in her pants like Cody. *(Cody embarassaly covers his peed pants. The tree branch collapses above Leshawna, she drops and the bear apporaches her. The three gasp)*
* **Owen:** Dear Abby, she's going to die! *(Leshawna backs up to a tree, the Bear comes closer to her, it stands up and growls*)
* **Leshawna:** *(nervously)* Nice bear... *(she screams and covers her face)* Somebody help me!
* **Gophers:** Run! Look out! Leshawna, get up!
* *(The bear smiles and starts talking.)*
* **Bear:** Hey, are you okay?
* **Leshawna:** *(opens her eyes)* Uh, did that bear just ask me a question? *(the Gophers gasp. The bear is revealed to be Izzy)*
* **Owen:** *(slides down from the tree)* Oh my goodness, I did not see that coming!
* **Lindsay:** Okay, I'm so confused right now.
* **Gwen:** What are you, some kind of weirdo?
* **Izzy:** I thought it would be funny! *(laughs. In the confessional)* Okay, okay that was so funny, like, "oh it's a bear, oh no", and like, "we're all gonna die now, help!" *(laughs)* And I'm like "roaaar I'm gonna eat you!" Like I'm gonna actually do that. There's no way, okay! *(laughs)*

## Bridgette Sets the Tent on Fire

* *(Scene switces to the Bass sleeping in their tent. An Owl hootes, and Bridgette is scared again. She gets up.)*
* **DJ:** What's wrong? Gotta go pee?
* **Bridgette:** Like, crazy, but I'm too scared to leave the tent. *(Courtney wakes up)*
* **DJ:** *(brings out a jar of his pee)* Yeah, me too.
* *(Bridgette steps out of the tent. She gasps and sees a swarm of bats flying around. The last bat lands on Bridgette's face. She loses control of her balance. Her shadow looks like a monster, scaring the Bass. The bat lets go of Bridgette. She trips a flamed rock and it lands near the tent, setting it on fire and burning it to ashes. The Bass glare at Bridgette for her clumsiness. Bridgette nervously waves at them.)*

## The Real Bear Shows Up

* *(Scene switches to the Gophers camping.)*
* **Izzy:** Rocking the fish sticks! Nice! *(another bush shakes. Another bear, and this time an actual one, is heard growling and apporaches Izzy)* Wow, that costume is really good. I mean, I thought mine was good, but this one is like, really good.
* **Trent:** It's probably Chris trying to mess with us. Yeah, nice try, man.
* **Owen:** *(pokes the bear's nose)* We know you're not a bear, dude. *(the bear growls angrily)*
* **Gwen:** Ah, I don't know Owen. This one looks kind of real.
* **Heather:** *(surprised in horror)* Chris did say there were bears...
* **Owen:** *(laughs)* Oh, come on, guys. They're just trying to see if they can punk us twice. This is not a real bear and I'm going to prove it to you. *(he rips a piece of the bear's hair, showing it's an actual bear)* Wow, that does kind of look real. *(the bear touches his missing hair and roars ferociously at Owen with the bear's hair as a mustache. Cody pees his pants again)* Yeah, that's a real bear. *(the bear snatches Owen's "mustache" and puts it back on its head. It glares at him and starts chasing him. Owen screams. The rest of the Gophers start running away from the bear)*

## It Couldn't Get Worse For Courtney

* *(Scene switches back to Bass.)*
* **Courtney:** Great, that's just great, Bridgette! Now, what? WE HAVE NOWHERE TO SLEEP!
* **Duncan:** Yo, Drama Queen, relax. It's cool.
* **Courtney:** Cool? It's COOL?! THINGS COULD NOT POSSIBLY GET WORSE! *(as she said it, it starts raining. Duncan smiles. She starts screaming angrily. Katie and Sadie are together in the cave cuddling, and the Gophers are stuck in the tree with the* real *bear this time. The Bass are under a shelter of large tree branch made by DJ)*

## Morning Time

* *(It's daytime and it has stopped raining. The Gophers wake up from their sleep.)*
* **Trent:** *(cracks his back)* Well, I think it's safe, guys, the bear's gone.
* **Gwen:** And the map... *(the map is ruined)*
* **Izzy:** Hey, I don't know how raccoons sleep in trees, because I'm so stiff.
* **Owen:** They must be really limber.
* **Heather:** You know what, crazy girl. I don't want to hear another word from you or the bear hunter. If you two hadn't been acting like bear bait all night, we could have actually slept in our tent. *(a bird chrips)*
* **Three:** SHUT UP!! *(the bird falls on the ground. Scene switches to Katie and Sadie)*
* **Katie:** *(yawns)* Oh, is it morning yet?
* **Sadie:** *(yawns)* Oh, I think that was the worst night of my entire life. *(yawns again. Katie is horrified)* It was even worse than the night I went out with that guy in the minky bad breath because he ate those sausages at that place. What?
* *(The same bear is in front of the cave and roars. The girls scream and run off, leaving the bear, with his hair falling off. The Gophers sleep. Courtney and Duncan are accidentally snuggling.)*
* **Duncan:** Morning, sunshine. *(Courtney wakes up and notices she was sleeping with Duncan)*
* **Courtney:** *(gasps)* Oh my gosh! Ew! You were cuddling me!
* **Duncan:** I was calmly lying on my back and trying to catch a few z's. You were snuggling up to me.
* **Courtney:** You are such an ogre!
* **Duncan:** I've been called worse.
* **Courtney:** Ugh! *(storms off, in the confessional)* Okay, I just want to say for the record that I was totally asleep and therefore unconscious at the time of the "alleged cuddling" with the said Neanderthal. So essentially, it's like it never happened.

## The Screaming Gophers Win/Katie and Sadie Are BFFFLs Again

* *(Chris is seen preparing for tonight's campfire ceremony. The Bass rush into camp.)*
* **Courtney:** *(pants)* We're the first ones back! *(the Gophers arrive)*
* **Heather:** Oh no! They beat us here! This is all your fault! *(pushes Owen. Izzy laughs quitely)*
* **Chris:** Uh-uh-uh-uh, not so fast, Gopherinos, it seems that the Killer Bass are missing a few fish.
* **Courtney:** Oh, you mean Katie and Sadie? I'm pretty sure they've been eaten by wolves last night.
* **Duncan:** Darn shame.
* *(The girls pant and made it back to camp.)*
* **Katie:** We made it!
* **Sadie:** We're safe! Oh my gosh, guys, we got totally lost and then got in this massive fight.
* **Katie:** And then there was this huge bear and he was like "Roaaar! You're in my crib, so get out!"
* **Sadie:** And it was like, so scary!
* **Katie:** Oh, Sadie. I'm so sorry I said I was prettier than you.
* **Sadie:** And I'm so sorry I brought up the snack shack.
* **Katie:** And I'm sorry I said your butt was too big to fit in the bus seats.
* **Sadie:** You did?
* **Katie:** Um, well not to your face.
* **Sadie:** Oh, who cares? *(hugs Katie)* We're safe, and you're my best friend and I love you.
* **Katie:** Oh, I love you, too!
* **Courtney:** *(clears her throat)* Ahem. Are you two finished with your love fest? *(they both nod)* Good, because thanks to you, *(angry)* we just lost the challenge!
* **Chris:** All right, Killer Bass. One of your fishy butts is going home! Gophers, you're going on an all-expense-paid trip to the tuck shop! *(the Gophers celebrate and run off to the Tuck Shop)*
* *(The Bass gasp and glare at Katie and Sadie. The two smile nervously and are worried)*

## The Tuck Shop

* *(The scene switches to the Gophers in their hot tub during their winnings.)*
* **Owen:** Oh my gosh, this is so good! *(eats a chip)* I never thoguht eating chips could taste so good! I think I'm gonna be sick. *(he throws up in the hot tub)*
* **Heather:** *(disgusted)* That's so incredibly gross.
* **Owen:** Oh, that's better. Woooo! The Screaming Gophers rule! Hey, give some of those chocodiles. *(downs a bag of chocodiles)*

## Katie Gets Voted Off

* *(The scene turns nighttime as the Bass are in the campfire ceremony.)*
* **Chris:** You've all cast your votes. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately hit the dock of shame, grab the Boat of Losers, and get the heck out of here. And, you can't come back... Ever! Now, I can see you're all tired, so tonight, I'll just throw them to you, savvy? Courtney. *(tosses the marshmallows to each Bass)* Duncan. *(Courtney glares at Duncan, he smiles at her)* Bridgette. DJ. Harold. Geoff. Tyler. *(the girls hug each other nervously)* Ladies. This is the final marshmallow of the evening. Sadie.
* **Sadie:** No! Why Katie?! Why her!
* **Katie:** *(cries)* It's so unfair!
* **Sadie:** I so can't do this! I've never been anywhere without Katie! We have to be together or I'll totally die!
* **Katie:** Sadie, listen to me. You can do this. You are strong and beautiful, and like, maybe even smarter than me, and plus, you're like the funnest girl I know! *(Sadie tears up)* You have to do it for both of us! *(Katie is on the Boat of Losers. Chris, the Bass, and somehow Cody are watching Katie's depature with a crying Sadie)*
* **Sadie:** I miss you already!
* **Katie:** *(cries)* I miss you more!
* **Sadie:** No, I miss you more!
* **Katie:** No way, I totally miss you more!
* **Sadie:** I miss you infinitely more! Byyyye!!

## Ending: Duncan Scares Courtney Again

* *(Duncan walks up to Courtney. Courtney is shooing a bunch of flies)*
* **Courtney:** What do you want now?
* **Duncan:** I just wanted to say that I'm sorry I scared you.
* **Courtney:** I was not scared. It was completely circumstantial, and there is no such thing as a hook man.
* **Duncan:** Yeah, you're probably right... *(takes out his hook prop again)* or are you?! *(Courtney screams)*
* **Courtney:** Ugh, I hate you! *(leaves)*
* **Duncan:** She so doesn't hate me. *(he puts his hands behind his back and accidentally pierces himself with the hook)* Ah! *(the episode ends)*

## References

1. ↑ In the censored version, Chris said "lame".
2. ↑ Heather said "shut it" in the censored version.