The Varsity Drag

**"The Varsity Drag"** is a 1927 song from *Good News!* Originally used as a way to showcase Flo, in recent revisions it has instead featured Babe. The number is an energetic dance that originates at the fictional Tait College.

## 1927 - Broadway

Flo, Millie, Windy, and Sylvester are sick of their classes and want to have some fun.

#### FLO

We've always thought

Knowledge is naught

We should be taught

To dance,

Right here at Tait,

We're up-to-date,

We teach a great

New dance

Don't think that I brag,

I speak of the Drag!

Why should a sheik

Learn how to speak

Latin and Greek,

Badly?

Give him a neat

Motto complete:

"Say it with feet,"

Gladly!

First lesson right now:

You'll love it and how, you'll love it!

Here is the drag

See how it goes.

Down on the heels,

Up on the toes,

That's the way to do the Varsity Drag!

It's hotter than hot,

Newer than new,

Meaner than mean,

Bluer than blue,

Gets as much applause as wavin' the flag!

You can pass

Many a class

Whether you're dumb or wise,

If you all

Answer the call

When your professor cries:

"Everybody! Down on the heels,

Up on the toes!

Stay after school,

Learn how it goes!

Everybody do the Varsity Drag!"

[DANCE BREAK UNTIL END]

## 1930 - Film

Flo and other students are left alone by their professor for "a half hour of quiet study and deep concentration." Instead, Flo does this. The song is kept the exact same as the Broadway version.

## 1947 - Film

The Drag is replaced with "Pass That Peace Pipe," although it appears as the finale, led by Tom and Connie. This version ends with an additional section from "The French Lesson" and "Good News." Tom and Connie have met each other outside Tait's victory ball. The air between them is still cold.

[DIALOGUE]

TOM. Because I love you!

CONNIE. Oh, that's a ridiculous thing to say.

TOM. Well I said it!

CONNIE. (under her breath) I'm glad.

TOM. What?!

CONNIE. I'm glad!

TOM. Oh, you are?

CONNIE. Yes.

TOM. Oh, in that case I've got a lot of things to say.

CONNIE. For instance?

TOM. You remember the day in the library when you gave me the French lesson? Well there are a lot of things that you could teach me, and that's the way I want it to be. You name it. I'll do anything you say.

CONNIE. Anything?

TOM. Try me.

CONNIE. Down on your heels.

TOM. Down on my heels?

CONNIE. Up on your toes.

TOM. Up on my toes? What's that?

#### STUDENTS

That's the way to do the Varsity Drag!

(The students and Connie laugh at Tom.)

#### CONNIE

We've always thought

Knowledge is naught

We should be taught

To dance,

Right here at Tait,

We're up-to-date,

We teach a great

New dance

Don't think that I brag,

I speak of the Drag!

Why should a sheik

Learn how to speak

Latin and Greek,

Badly?

Give him a neat

Motto complete:

"Say it with feet,"

Gladly!

First lesson right now:

You'll love it and how you'll love it!

Here is the drag

See how it goes.

Down on your heels,

Up on your toes,

That's the way to do the Varsity Drag!

It's hotter than hot,

Newer than new,

Meaner than mean,

Bluer than blue,

Gets as much applause as wavin' the flag!

You can pass

Many a class

Whether you're dumb or wise,

If you all

Answer the call

When your professor cries:

"Everybody! Down on the heels,

Up on the toes!

Stay after school,

Learn how it goes!

Everybody do the Varsity Drag!"

#### TOM (STUDENTS)

Here is the drag! (Here is the drag!)

See how it goes! (See how it goes!)

Down on your heels! (Down on your heels!)

Up on your toes! (Up on your toes!)

(all) That's the way to do the Varsity Drag!

Hotter than hot! (Hotter than hot!)

Newer than new! (Newer than new!)

Meaner than mean! (Meaner than mean!)

Bluer than blue! (Bluer than blue!)

#### ALL

Gets as much applause as wavin' the flag!

You can pass

Many a class

Whether you're dumb or wise,

If you all

Answer the call

When your professor cries:

"Down on your heels,

Up on your toes,

Stay after school,

Learn how it goes!"

Every-

Everybody-

Step right up and do the Varsity Drag!

[DANCE BREAK, TRANSITION TO "THE FRENCH LESSON"]

The boy: Garon,

Gets girl: La fille.

That's good: C'est bon!

The show: fini.

#### TOM, CONNIE, BABE, BOBBY, BEEF, PAT

The moral of this tale is learn to parlez-vous.

Send her a billet doux,

Tell her her eyes are blue...

#### TOM

(looking into Connie's eyes) They sure are blue!

#### ALL

"Je vous adore" means "I love you!"

Ahhh...!

Come right here to me, good news...!

## 1948 - *The Railroad Hour*

In this version, the Drag opens the show. Babe is trying to teach it to a group of students when Tom walks in. He and Babe perform the song together with the ensemble.

#### BABE

Here is the drag

See how it goes.

Down on the heels,

Up on the toes,

That's the way to do the Varsity Drag!

It's hotter than hot,

Newer than new,

Meaner than mean,

Bluer than blue,

Gets as much applause as wavin' the flag!

You can pass

Many a class

Whether you're dumb or wise,

If you all

Answer the call

When your professor cries:

"Everybody! Down on the heels,

Up on the toes!

Stay after school,

Learn how it goes!

Everybody do the Varsity Drag!"

#### TOM

We've always thought

Knowledge is naught

We should be taught

To dance,

Right here at Tait,

We're up-to-date,

We teach a great

New dance

Don't think that I brag,

I speak of the Drag!

Why should a sheik

Learn how to speak

Latin and Greek,

Badly?

Give him a neat

Motto complete:

"Say it with feet,"

Gladly!

#### TOM

You'll love it and how, you'll love it!

Here is the drag

See how it goes.

Down on the heels,

Up on the toes,

That's the way to do the Varsity Drag!

#### BABE

It's hotter than hot,

Newer than new,

Meaner than mean,

Bluer than blue,

Gets as much applause as wavin' the flag!

#### ENSEMBLE

Oh, you can pass

Many a class

Whether you're dumb or wise,

If you all

Answer the call

When your professor cries:

#### ALL

"Everybody! Down on the heels,

Up on the toes!

Stay after school,

Learn how it goes!

Everybody do the Varsity Drag!" (Varsity Drag!)

## 1974 - Broadway/1993 - Wichita

In this version, Babe sings the song as a way to get the students to pep up while waiting for Tom's exam results.

#### BABE

We've always thought

Knowledge is naught

We should be taught

To dance,

Right here at Tait,

We're up-to-date,

We teach a great

New dance

Don't think that I brag,

I speak of the Drag!

Why should a sheik

Learn how to speak

Latin and Greek,

Badly?

Give him a neat

Motto complete:

"Say it with feet,"

Gladly!

#### BABE (MALE STUDENTS)

First lesson right now: (Ooo-ooo...)

You'll love it and how! (You'll love it!)

#### BABE

Here is the drag

See how it goes.

Down on your heels,

Up on your toes,

That's the way to do the Varsity Drag!

It's hotter than hot,

Newer than new,

Meaner than mean,

Bluer than blue,

Gets as much applause as wavin' the flag!

You can pass

Many a class

Whether you're dumb or wise,

If you all

Answer the call

When your professor cries:

"Everybody! Down on the heels,

Up on the toes!

Stay after school,

Learn how it goes!

Everybody do the Varsity Drag!"

#### FEMALE STUDENTS (MALE STUDENTS)

Here is the drag, (Here is the drag,)

See how it goes, (See how it goes,)

Down on your heels, (Down on your heels,)

Up on your toes, (Up on your toes,)

Everybody do the Varsity Drag! (Ahh...)

It's hotter than hot, (Hotter than hot,)

Newer than new, (Newer than new,)

Meaner than mean, (Meaner than mean,)

Bluer than blue, (Bluer than blue,)

Gets as much applause as wavin' the flag! (Ahh... wavin' the flag!)

#### STUDENTS

You can pass

Many a class

Whether you're dumb or wise,

If you all

Answer the call

When your professor cries:

"Everybody!

Down on your heels!

Up on your toes!

Say goodbye to blues,

And do the drag...!"

[DANCE BREAK UNTIL END, THEN:]

(Sylvester rushes in. Everyone is passed out on the ground.)

SYLVESTER. He passed!

(Everyone cheers.)