Captain Crunch

## Physical Description

Crunch has a rather unique look. Starting from the head down, the first noticeable thing is the privateer hat, painted a navy blue. Beneath the hat, not a single strand of hair remains. He went bald a long ass time ago. Below the wrinkled brows, the next distinguishable feature is a gaping hole where his eye used to be. Normally its kept covered with a lovingly caretaken eyepatch that's enlayed with rhinestones. The other eye is a brilliant blue and hyperactive in it's movements. His nose is a bit fucked up, but is pointed like a hawks. He has surprisingly good dental hygiene for someone raised in the apocalypse, due to him being one of the few able to afford toothpaste.

He's usually dressed in a navy blue suit, with bright yellow buttons. Same with his pants. He's rather pale despite having a hint of latino ancestry. His hands are heavilyh scarred and usually sit in his pockets, near his holster where he has his old revolver, with the other staying on his walking cane. His boots are made from fine cow leather and each is commissioned to fit his foot specifically. Overall if his whole look must be summarised, it can be put down to post apocalyptic pirate.

His revolver is painted and designed to look more like a flintlock than anything, with bits of gold paint on it alongside general remodelling. Nothing that impacted it's function too bad, but it looks like a bigger prize than it is. His pride and joy is in his walking cane. The top is a super-vecture skull, stripped from a Minion of the Archivist he murdered himself. By twisting it, an electric weapon comes out of the bottom, one he's used to deadly effect before during assassination attempts.

## Backstory

Crunch was born Konrad Kramch to a former lawyer and a high school teacher. Crunch’s parents survived the Panic, giving him the benefit of having two loving parents...who happened to be Bandits. Crunch was taught how to wield weapons from when he was young, and grew up like a prince among murderers. He developed a sociopathic streak then. When you were taught to put the knife to people as part of bonding with your parents, you might even learn to enjoy it. Crunch sure as hell does.

Compared to most, he had it made. He could have survived like this forever, but unfortunately/fortunately he'd got into an arguement when he was 10 with his parents. They refused to let him come on a raid or a robbery, citing the fact that he still was too young to do most of what they needed to make their money. Parental affection was also a clear part of why they didn't let him go with them. He'd run away that night, planning to come back later in the night to show them that they’d miss him. Unluckily for him, that very night they were assassinated by his father's mistress. When he came back to the camp, he saw both of his parents strung up on the walls as trophies. Crunch ran for the hills then, not wanting to risk his life.

~~Everything from here on happened in roleplay~~

Crunch would wander the wastelands of Post Apocalyptic america until he hit West Virginia. That was when he met the VPC and the MCF, the first connection he had to the Vancian Republic. At first, Crunch stayed far from both of them, instead robbing people at his leisure. That was when he met one of his first lovers, a 33 year old prostitute by the name of Katie. However, he'd make his first connections with the MCF through a man named Alistair, who'd grow to become one of Crunches closest friends, and a girl named Rosa who'd die of a bear attack soon after. Shortly after the VPC-MCF war, Crunch would join up with them permanently, having ditched Katie a little while ago.

Unfortunately, they'd need to all leave West Virginia when the Archivist sent his hordes in response to an attempted assassination by a group of survivors. That was when he threw his odds in with the Vancian Republic first up. While he was always MCF before Vancian, He would discover his second love in the holds of the Alamo. Money. Crunch would throw everything he had into making it rich, joining Clyde Coopers Horse Cartel. Near the end, he had nearly two hundred thousand horses under his name, perfect for selling off for money. He'd fight alongside the AVF, using his superior monetary power to match himself up to the standards of their armament, joining them in fighting off the USGL.

Crunch would recieve rolls of honor once more, when he beat Clyde Cooper in a shooting contest and fought alongside him in murdering the Archivists Chosen Apostles, the Super-Vectures. While he had to turn one over for research, he stole away the other, turning his skull into the gear shift of his Narco-Tank first, then the top of his walking cane.

Katie would make her come back soon after, attempting to capture him as a sex slave for her own depraved fantasies. However, rather than allowing her, Crunch and his boys would proceed to brutally murder her, and maim her friends who came along with her, stealing their cars and goods.

By the age of 20, he was a relatively popular businessman. While he hadn't hit the true heights of riches and fame yet, he still had much more than the average citizen. In days after, Crunch would look back at this as one of the last times he was truly happy. Unfortunately this was all about to change once more, as the Alamo was nuked by their age old enemies in the USGL, causing him to ditch with his old MCF gang members.

They'd head up to Alaska where they'd take over the Snow Hounds. However, the cold wasn't for him so he would leave them behind in an emotional farewell. This was the last time he'd ever see many of his closest friends, from Alistair to Don to Roy. As much as he hated to leave, there was still a grudge to be avenged. Crunch would drive on down to Los Angeles, hoping to kill the woman who killed his parents.

Somehow, she was still alive. She called herself the Bandit Queen of Los Angeles, somehow still retaining power. He pretended to be someone different, spending time to make friends with the other bandits and gain trust from the Bandit Queen as well. He eventually beat the queen to death with her own scepter, avenging his parents.

Crunch proclaimed himself the King of Los Angeles. He'd guide his forces to assert his dominion over Los Angeles, ruling with an iron fist. While the whole thing was quite stressful, due to constant assassination attempts, half of which he was convinced came from his beloved wife as part of their game, he would prove to be a decent king, ruling until he was 30.

By then,he'd fathered three children by his Queen. The first and his queen were eaten alive by shamblers when a massive horde attacked. He'd lose the second in the same event, leaving only his youngest daughter. Crunch would slowly make his way through the wasteland once more for the next 30-40 years, until he landed in the Heights, fighting for it's independance. He'd eventually end up as the Militia Chief, coming full circle from being a thief to a policeman.

That's not to say he wasn't corrupt. Even now, he's the second highest ranking member of the Syndicate, part of the rumored Council of Two and one of it's Founding Members. He'd make it absolutely rich here, opening business after business to make sure he never had to taste poverty again. Now Crunch enjoys himself in luxury, playing part of the gentle old policeman while he makes moves to increase his own power and wealth.

Crunch recently suffered an assassination attempt by a revolutionary party member by the Name of Hall. Crunch is planning to go on the Warpath, be it through legal means (as this is the second attempted assassination attempt by a Rev in recent times) or illegal.

## Relationships

**Alistair - Best Friend (Dead)**

Alistair was one of Crunches oldest friends. He was a lot of what Crunch wasn't, and Crunch loved him for it. Calm and Collected where Crunch was fiery, and ready to tell him "No that's dumb". News of Alistair's death impacted him deeply, and he's sworn to himself to keep his buddies family safe. He has his old mask as well, and keeps it on his desk. To this day, he still hallucinates him.

Recently, Crunch had his final hallucination of Alistair. They caught up, and Alistair dissolved into the ether after convincing Crunch to have a look at the life he's been leading.

**Lindsey** **- Best Friends Granddaughter**

Lindsey is under Crunches protection, whether she knows it or not. If she dies, Crunch already has a plan for her killer. Death the old way, with their limbs chopped off, their tongues and eyes removed and their teeth ripped out, leaving them to scream themselves to sleep until they die of starvation. Crunch won't let them die of dehydration after all, that's way too quick.

**Don - Boss and Friend (Dead)**

Don was the old MCF boss before the Gang fell apart. Crunch visited his grave a long while ago, much like he has for most of the MCF. He has nothing but fond memories of the older man, and does miss him. There was a certain exubilation to robbing some poor sap with a man in a Donald Duck outfit after all.

**Katie - Enemy and Ex-lover (Dead)**

Crunch used to adore Katie until she asked more than he was willing to give. He can't even remember why exactly they broke apart, but when she came to try and take him as a slave after their break up, that was a step too far. It wasn't even a killing he's proud of, it was just something he had to do. He gave the prostitute a burial, but that was all he was willing to yield to the person he used to be fond of.

**Crunch Jr. - Grandson**

Crunch dislikes his grandson. It's hard for him to tell whether it's because he's too similar or because they're too different. In either case, as the only true heir he knows that's alive, excluding all the illegitmate children, he's the one who gets Crunches fortune after Crunch dies. Luckily he's been trained to handle it. He lacks the energy that Crunch exudes, the charisma and the half cracked nature. He's just business and rage, which irritates Crunch.

**Jonah - Business Partner and Friend**

Jonah and him founded the Syndicate together. While the relationship is mostly business, the Mans agreeable to have a friendship there as well. After all, they both get that money is seperate from their friendship and that makes working together a lot easier.

**Murdoc - Replacement Grandson and Inventor**

Murdoc has what Crunch Jr. lacks. A sense of theatrics, of drama. It helps that he's crazy to boot. It's what makes Murdoc one of Crunches absolute favourite people. So far, all that's been made between the two of them are the CRUNCH-86 Mech Suits but there's plenty planned between them, including a top secret project that may bankrupt Crunch entirely.

## Faction Relations

**Washington Heights Militia**

As the Chief of the Militia, he does have some loyalty to them. Despite his corruption, he avoids deals that'll lead to harm on his own boys. He's been fighting alongside these men for years after all, and he takes a grandfatherly figure to most of the militia, knowing almost all of them by name. He's a house guest at quite a few houses, and more than a few militia men can call back to times where he gave them a loan and "forgot" in his old age that they needed to pay him back, until they had the money with no interest.

**Continental Coalition Resistance**

As a hardcore capitalist, what they stand for is against what he believes in. In his mind, if they can't work or make a living some other way, the weak can starve. The wasteland isn't a kind place and there isn't room for those who can't make their own way, or have been social enough to make connections to take care of them when they can't take care of themselves. He'd be completely fine with a genocide of those goddamned commies.

**Armed Vance Forces/Vancian Republic**

They're better than the CCR atleast. He used to be a Vancian so he still supports them. However, they restrain his freedom too much so he's a lot happier under independant Militia rule than AVF rule.

**The Syndicate**

These are his boys. As one of the Council of Two, he's usually concerned with making sure that they're progressing. Currently he's in the process of making a new syndicate city.

## Personality

Crunch is a greedy half insane old man. He's also cunning, smart and patient. This all combines to the perfect career criminal. Most people think of him as grandfatherly, as a kind old man who's just doing his job. To a few people that's even true, like Lindsey. But those who know him better, know that he's willing to stab someone he called Son and promised to take care of moments ago if it benefits him more than keeping them alive.

That's not to say he doesn't have his good points. His friendship, once earned, is hard to break off. If he can't save you from a horrific death as one of his friends, he'll make sure that whoever killed you dies even worse. His Cunning has helped save innocents lives before, and despite all things he's not a mass murderer for the fun of it. He tries to avoid casualties as much as he can, unless they hit his bottomline.

As he ages though, his mind has slowly been falling apart. Even when he was 20, he suffered from hallucinations. Originally it was just a talking rat but it has gone all the way to hallucinating old friends when no ones around. He also suffers from heavy paranoia, to the point he doesn't eat anything he didn't personally view cooked or is pre-war canned. However, this all remains heavily hidden. None are allowed to see any of this, and he's killed to keep his secrets before.

Crunch doesn't hesitate to cut and run if his life is in too much danger, depending on the situation. Unless it's someone close to him, in which case he would have forced them to come with him, he usually executes the survivors so they can't reveal that he left. It's why he's survived this long, when everyone else he's friends with has died.

## Trivia

* Crunch is terrified of Vecture Children after a mass infection he commited during his youth. A gang of them are currently pursuing him.
* Crunch has more than 100 grandchildren and gods know how many great grandchildren.