Paul Lynde to Block

**Paul Lynde to Block** is the second episode of Season 3 of ***F is for Family***.

## Synopsis

Frank meets his new neighbours, Chet and Nguyen-Nguyen Stevenson, and invites them to the drive in in order to avoid being alone with Sue.

## Plot

Frank can't stand Sue's complaining lately, especially after their air conditioner breaks. When she suggests going to the movies, Frank invites the kids and their new neighbours so he can avoid being alone with her.

He winds up going off alone with Chet under the guise of getting Sue a pizza, leaving Sue with Nguyen-Nguyen.

Meanwhile, Kevin presents his friends with a new song but they admit they find his music too depressing. They tell him they've become disinterested in playing progressive rock, especially since Kevin ruined their gig at Vic's with a 20 minute improvised song about his feelings. They kick Kevin out so they can focus on playing music that will pick up chicks.

At the drive in, Maureen says she has to go to the bathroom, but is really reading a magazine about computers. This forces Bill to wait outside the bathroom for her and miss the pre-show cartoon.

## Trivia

* **Title Reference:** One of the lines that Nguyen-Nguyen says as she is learning English. From the TV game show, *Hollywood Squares*.
* The end credits is shown with a rendition of the song "The What We Did" (from the episode's movie of the same name) by Haley Reinhart.
* Bolo still has the nude painting of Cutie Pie, which he stole from Vic in "Pray Away".

## Quotes

**Frank:** (to Sue) Oh honey, what do you need? Anything, you name it.

**Kevin:** You can turn on the air conditioner.

**Frank:** It's not hot enough for it yet.

**Kevin:** (annoyed) What does this family have against comfort?!

**Frank:** Electricity costs money, Kevin. Do the math.

**Bill:** (smug)He can't. He failed math.

**Frank:** (shocked)What?

**Sue:** (shocked)You failed math?

**Kevin:** (to Bill) You are dead.

**Bill:** (still smug)And you are dumb. He has to go to summer school.

**Frank:** (shocked) Summer school?! We're supposed to go to the lake next month! YOU'D JUST FUCKED UP THE WHOLE SUMMER, KEVIN!!!

**Maureen:** Daddy, I got all A's.

**Frank:** (to Maureen) Oh Princess, I'm yelling at Kevin right now. (to Kevin) WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

**Sue:** Frank, stop yelling.

**Frank:** (angry) That is it! No more guitar! YOU'RE GONNA HAVE YOUR NOSE IN A BOOK THIS WHOLE SUMMER YOUNG MAN, IF I HAVE TO GLUE TO IT YOUR GODDAMN FACE, YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! AM I SPEAKING PLAIN ENGLISH, OR DID YOU **FUCKING FLUNK THAT TOO?!**

**Kevin:** (talking back) I GOT A D-PLUS IN ENGLISH!!

**Frank:** (sarcastically) **OHHH, A D-PLUS! WELL, LET'S HAVE A FUCKING PARADE!!!**

**Sue:** (silently pissed off) Frank, you are not helping.

**Frank:** (continues) **HEY, STRIKE UP THE BAND!!** (mimics drumming sounds) (starts walking like a musician) **THREE CHEERS FOR MY D-MINUS SON!!!**

**Kevin: D-PLUS!!!**

**Sue:** (outraged)FOR GOD'S SAKE, WILL YOU TWO **SHUT UP!??**

*\*Frank slows his walking\**

**Sue:** It is hot. There is a creature inside me, and it is using my bladder as a speed bag. But do YOU, see ME...*\*picks up her plate and smashes it on the floor\**...RANTING AND RAVING, **LIKE A LUNATIC???** *\*Does the same with the bowl on the table\**

*\*Everyone stares at her, shocked\**

**Frank:** Why don't I turn on the air conditioning? There you go, honey! Sweet relief!

*\*The A/C machine sputters as bugs and smoke come out of it, then it falls to the ground outside\**

**Frank:** AH, SHIT! *\*Half of a dead toad slaps him in the face\**

**Vic:** (From far away) DON'T LICK THAT TOAD, FRANK!

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**Kevin:** Music is not about getting laid.

**Bolo:** Everything is about getting laid! Chicks dig songs about fun stuff, like surfing and free rides.

**Lex:** And business being taken care of.

**Kevin:** That's like Lifted Riffs.

**Bolo:** Yes! If we played that kind of music, we'll be drowning in pussy!

**Kevin:** FUCK YOU! DROWNING IS A SERIOUS SUBJECT!!!

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**Lex:** Yeah, we want to change the name to something that chicks would dig, like "Throbinson Crusoe".

**Bolo:** I like "Dicks A Plenty".

**Lex:** Wait, is it one dick that owns a plenty or many dicks that are plenty?

**Bolo:** I just like dicks, all right?

**Kevin:** We're not changing the name! We're so close to making it. We got a word on the radio.

**Bolo:** We were close, but you blew it! Vic was all set to help us out and you threw it away because you fucked his girlfriend!

**Kevin:** (points at Cutie Pie's picture) You're the one with her picture on the wall!

**Bolo:** All I do is jerk it in the washing machine. WHAT YOU DID WAS SICK!!

**Kevin:** I am the heart and soul of this band!

**Bolo:** And we're the dick and balls!

**Kevin:** STOP TALKING ABOUT DICKS!

**Bolo:** I CAN'T!

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**Kevin:** (to Lex and Bolo) You're kicking me out? (short pause) Well, good! Maybe I don't want to be in a band with you guys first! Bunch of dildos! (pulls down a Shire of Frodo poster) This is mine. You don't even deserve me.

[Kevin opens the garage door, but it jams halfway]

**Kevin:** Goddammit. (mutters) Dildos gonna pay for. You're gonna buy me some new jeans. I got them all dirty 'cause of your stupid broken door. Goddamn stupid dildos.