Welcome To The Mario Show!

Welcome To The Mario Show! is the first episode of... well, The Mario Show.

## Transcript

### Scene 1

Cut to Mario and Luigi's living room, where they are seen playing Super Smash Bros. for Wii U

Mario: (hits Luigi with a fair, spiking him to his death) WHOOOOOO! That's a really satisfying move to land.

Luigi: I have no problem with the rest of your moves in this game, but I absolutely hate getting hit by your forward air.

Mario: Well, I'm not too big a fan of your Super Jump Punch myself. The sweetspot on that is ridiculously powerful.

Luigi: Hmmm... I guess every character has a really good kill move or setup that makes them annoying to fight in one way or another.

Mario: I guess you're right.

Luigi: I mean, be happy characters have good kill moves, otherwise we'd be going until like 300% before we even make it close to the blast zones.

Mario: Whoa. Not that much. Probably like 150, because moves like my doctor self's up tilt can actually be pretty powerful at higher percents. Even if you took the smash out of Super Smash Bros, some characters have good specials and aerials that can kill. Also a few tilts.

Luigi: Fair enough.

(Mario's phone rings)

Mario: (picks up phone) Hello?

Peach: Help! I've been kidnapped!

Mario: Where are you?

Peach: At Bowser's house.

Mario: I'm on my way. Luigi, let's go.

Luigi: We can finish this set after, right?

Mario: Yep. What is it, 3-2 me right now?

Luigi: Sadly, yes.

### Scene 2

At Bowser's house

Mario: (rings doorbell) Can't Bowser be sent to jail for kidnapping Peach now that we live in the USA?

Luigi: Well, he is a turtle.

Mario: A humanlike turtle almost.

Luigi: What, are humanlike turtles not exempt from the law?

Mario: Well, if it kidnaps a princess, I wouldn't think so. People will realize something is up.

(Bowser opens the door)

Bowser: Hey guys. Peach is in the kitchen.

Mario (looks behind Bowser and sees Peach sitting at the kitchen table in front of a board game) Wait... What's going on here?

Peach: I was kidnapped in Super Mario: The Board Game! Now I lose 2 turns!

Mario: Super Mario... The Board Game? YOU MADE ME COME ALL THE WAY HERE FOR A BOARD GAME?

Peach: Hehehe.

Mario: I reeeeallly hate you, Peach.

### Scene 3

Cut to Wario and Waluigi at the grocery store.

Wario: Sweet, a sale on garlic! (Fills cart with garlic)

Waluigi: Whoa. Overkill much?

Wario: Nah.

Waluigi: Money doesn't grow on trees, you know.

Wario: Hmmm... Hang on. (Buys a lottery ticket and fills out the numbers)

Waluigi: You know the chances of winning this kind of stuff is really slim... Right?

Wario: Yeah, but I can be optimistic if I so choose.

Waluigi: But if you're optimistic, you're very rarely realistic.

Wario: Just watch, the numbers are being announced tonight, and Imma be $129 million richer.

Waluigi: (sigh) Fine, do as you wish. But don't come crying to me when you lose and you have nothing but garlic to your name.

Wario: Hey, if I lose and have nothing but garlic to my name, I'm fine with that.

Waluigi: Welp, guess we'll just see tonight.

### Scene 4

It's 11 p.m. and the winning lottery numbers are about to be announced

Wario: Prepare to eat your words, Waluigi. (Eats a handful of popcorn)

Waluigi: I wouldn't be too sure about that.

Guy on TV: And the winning lottery numbers are...

(Wario pulls out his wallet and takes out the lottery ticket)

Guy on TV: 7, 28, 43, 46, 59, and our Power Ball number is.... 13

Wario: WOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO! (jumps up and down uncontrollably then suddenly calms down) Told ya.

Waluigi: (takes out a Words Bar and eats it) Mmm. Mmhmm. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. This Words Bar this tastes like it's heavy in vowels. Well, guess we're $129 million richer now. Now what?

Wario: Easy, we spend it lavishly and end up living in a trailer within 6 months.

Waluigi: Um... No. We putting that in the bank.

Wario: Dude, I was kidding. Of course we can put it in the bank.

Waluigi: Ok, good.

### Scene 5

Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong are seen enjoying a snack in their treehouse.

Donkey Kong: Betcha I can eat bananas faster than you.

Diddy Kong: Let's see.

Donkey Kong: Ok. Ready... Go!

(Donkey shoves an entire handful of bananas down his throat at once while Diddy just continues eating casually as normal. Naturally, Donkey begins to choke.)

Donkey Kong: (choking noises)

Diddy Kong: Um, come again? (pulls out Choke-to-English Translator)

Choke-to-English Translator: Why are you just standing there? Help me you hooligan! I'm choking over here! Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

Diddy Kong: Hang on, give me a sec. (takes out phone to learn how to do the Heimlich maneuver then performs it on Donkey Kong) Aaaaaand there you go. By the way, you're an idiot. Why would you shove six bananas down your face all at once and not expect to choke?

Donkey Kong: Ok, I deserved that. Also. Why did someone think it would be a good idea to translate choke to English?

Diddy Kong: Ummm... Am I supposed to answer that question?

### Scene 6

Yoshi is seen at the Generic Restaurant doing the World's Biggest Pizza Challenge, in which he has to eat an enormous pizza within an hour. He completes the challenge, but isn't feeling so good afterwards.

Yoshi: Um... Someone call an ambulance. I think my stomach's about to burst.

### Scene 7

Many Toads are seen preparing Peach's new castle.

Toad #1: What do you guys think of this new city so far?

Toad #2: If we're building a castle... For a princess... Doesn't that make this a kingdom now?

Toad #1: I... Don't know, actually.

Toad #3: Well, I'd say castle equals kingdom, I don't know about you guys.

Toad #2: Yes you do. You know exactly what I think.

### Scene 8

Cut to Wario and Waluigi at the Bland and Boring City Bank, putting the money they won into their account.

Wario: Alright then. That's that. Let's go see a movie or something.

Waluigi: Um, sure.

They walk out, but Wario forgot he had $500 in his pocket. Ruh-roh.