Celestial Mechanics

**Celestial Mechanics** is one of the three factions in *Heaven Will Be Mine*. It is trying and failing to be in charge of bratty standby test pilot Saturn.

## Description

Celestial Mechanics is intended to advance human thought and potential, and charting the future of humanity. Rather than performing its official duties, the lab orbiting Cronus developed the "existentially horrifying" *Interloper Prototype String of Pearls*. Classified information of the project was leaked by an "anonymous test pilot" (Saturn) as retaliation for being benched from test piloting the prototype, and ultimately the mech was forcefully acquired by Saturn.

The ideology of Celestial Mechanics is based on the inevitable existence of a new Existential Threat, as humans (on Earth) will find someone new to designate as non-human. Celestial Mechanics, as led by Iapetus, is intent on embracing the classification of humans in space as aliens and aims to sever ties with Earth.

### The Internal Report

At the beginning of the game, the player is shown a sequence of documents regarding the stance and progression of the three factions following the onset of the war in space. An internal report dated January 25, 1981, reads:

> It’s January 25, 1981.
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> Memorial Foundation and Cradle’s Graces have been having fun for a little over a year, and nothing is breaking the stalemate.
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> Earth is getting impatient. They have good reason to believe that the Existential Threat posed by a divided humanity in space is much greater than any theoretically malevolent entity outside the Native Sphere.
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> While the kids are fighting, Earth is getting ready to list the humans remaining in space as part of the Existential Threat, and when they do, they’ll send real weapons, and end this war fought with plastic toys. Their justification? We are technically less than 100% human, just not-human enough to be something else.
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> It’s hard to believe they’re really onto us.
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> It’s time to make a drastic move.
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> Bring our final piece, the prototype Ship-Self String of Pearls we made in the atmosphere of planet Cronus, which will never be Saturn, to the Lunar Gravity Well, where Memorial Foundation and Cradle’s Graces are already headed. Whoever controls that place controls human access to space. We can be sure everything will be in place there.
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> Earth or space, we are just short of 100% human.
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> So let’s see how much less than 100% we can get.
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> —Internal report, Celestial Mechanics
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## Affiliations

Iapetus is the current director of Celestial Mechanics, and is the one responsible for benching Saturn from piloting duties.

Before String of Pearls' intel had been leaked, Memorial Foundation loyalists and Cradle's Graces rebels were too invested in one another to notice Celestial Mechanics' suspicious operations. After the mech was made known and stolen by Saturn, the truce between the three factions promptly concluded.

### Private communication from Celestial Mechanics researcher

As the game progresses, the player is shown a sequence of comms from various participating entities affiliated with the three factions, detailing their perspective of the war in space following its onset. A private communication sent by a Celestial Mechanics researcher, dated January 26, 1981, reads:

> It’s morning on Ares, but what’s time in space? If we can get our capital ship launched and refueled, and the prototype retrofitted with the final equipment, we’ll have everything in place. Keep out of the canyons of Mars, where Cradle’s Graces and Memorial Foundation are bickering, hold the city ruins against invading troops, and make sure no one tries to set the Oxygen Ocean on fire while we refuel. It’s a pretty thankless job.
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> But me, I can’t wait to see what happens. This is the most exciting space has ever been. Before we got here, this was a dead rock, but the best we could have ever hoped for was Earth in a different place. Who needs that?
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> Far in the distance, the Moon’s Gravity Well shines. If no one controls it before the deadline is up, Earth will take drastic steps to ensure that humanity is not divided. What they’re afraid of happening: we will ensure that it happens.
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> We’ll finally have something alien in space.
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> Private communication sent on January 26, 1981 by a Celestial Mechanics researcher.
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## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 https://worstgirlsgames.tumblr.com/post/168831087161/factions-celestial-mechanics