Yureihime

"Getting laid never felt so cold."

Once upon a midnight dreary, Weskerpawnch was getting real horny. His room was thick with stagnant musk. He sat up from his cum-drenched sheets and was like, "Damn, I need some fuck."

He contemplated simply robbing a grave as real women were just not enough anymore. He needed that ghost meat. And so his journey began. First, he needed a companion. One man, in particular, came to mind for some reason. He made his way to Texas via Eggless Travel. Upon reaching Ram Ranch, he was immediately fired upon. Several US Marines and hot young cowboys surrounded the trespasser. They were armed with HK416s and Mark 23 Mod 0s as Ram Ranch Inc. drank the German Kool-Aid long ago. Wesker, being unarmed as fuck, threw his hands up in surrender like a Frenchman. Aroused by the gunfire, Gay Robot finally revealed himself.

Wesker said, "Bro, it's me. Lay down your arms and let's go pick up dead girls!"

Gaybo merely replied with, "Who the fuck is Wesker?"

After a brief exchange, Wesker realized that no one at Ram Ranch recognized him. However, when he mentioned, "Slaying ghost pussy," Gaybo suddenly became less interested in putting a 7.62x51mm NATO in his skull, and more interested in this alleged "ghost pussy."

Morbidly curious and feeling oddly straight that day, Gaybo took up his HK G3 and left the rest of the Ranch in the care of Big Mantis and Cobra.

## Obtaining Unobtanium

Our heroes formulated a noble goal. To amass a harem of ghostly women cause they're more loyal than these regular ass living hoes. However, there was one problem. Neither Wesker nor even the Texas native, Gaybo knew where to find these elusive undead girls. Gaybo decided to call up a mysterious faction loosely allied with his financial benefactors, the Council of Brian. Gaybo called the Goths. They informed him that their is a haunted house nearby that is more haunted than Queen Elizabeth's pussy. The two friends, horny as actual fuck, set out immediately.

## The Arrival

The pussy patrol arrived at the sight of a huge mansion. The abode was dull and gray. Half in ruins, the mansion was covered in wild roses. Black roses cause the previous owners were goth as fuck. Feeling a sense of tension in the gloomy air, Gaybo clenched his needlessly expensive rifle tightly while Wesker just clenched his dick.

As the two neared the entrance, they saw a figure moving inside the mansion. They peered through the windows, and Wesker and Gaybo got real horny. Not even ten seconds after stepping foot on the property and they found their first wife. Wesker stood to the side while Gaybo took up a position near the entrance. He took out his Benelli M4 and blew open the lock. He kicked in the door, all hot and sweaty, and threw a flashbang inside. Both their ears buzzed from the concussion but they were too horny to care. Gay Robot rushed inside, ready to hump the first thing that moved.

Among the pluming clouds of stirred-up dust and grime, Gaybo caught sight of a slightly feminine figure staggering about in blind confusion. He immediately pounced. When he heard a distinct, nasally male voice cry out, he leaped away. The person Gaybo almost copulated with, was no hot, emo Onryo at all. It was Vice.

## Voyeur

Gaybo repeatedly stomped on Vice's head, repeatedly telling him to get down and make his hands visible. He said this despite Vice already being on the ground and bleeding. After pelting Vice in the ass with several beanbag rounds from his M4, Gaybo allowed Vice to stand up. He questioned Vice on his reasons for being here. Vice frantically insisted that he was just visiting some of his VR friends in the area but took a wrong turn. Vice covertly hid a telescope near a window facing Ram Ranch. Thankfully, for his sake, Gaybo did not notice or did not care. He may have thought Vice had a cuck fetish.

When all was settled, Vice finally worked up the courage to ask the armed robot what *he* was doing there. Gaybo explained that he and Wesker were on a mission to obtain the sacred gussy. Vice simply replied with, "Who the fuck is Wesker?"

Gay Robot looked around but saw no one. The artist formally known as Wesker was gone. Irritated that he came all this way to be ditched by an autistic ape man from Florida who may have only been a figment of his imagination, Gaybo pressed on regardless. He would return with a harem of hot ghost girls with or without Wesker. And Vice was going to help whether he wanted to or not.

Vice profusely explained over and over again that he'd been there for hours and had not seen a single Sadako knockoff. Every time he gave a dissenting opinion, Gaybo got really offended and shot him in the foot with a beanbag. They searched high and low, every room, behind every cobweb. There was not a single hot single ghost in his area. Frustrated and about ready to chop Vice's peepee off, the helpless blue-haired alligator man got an idea. An idea to save his life. He mentioned a tombstone in the woods behind the mansion. He told Gaybo that if he could not get a hot ghost girl, a dead body was the next best thing.

## The Kingdom of Predators

Vice led Gaybo to the grave. Too lazy to dig up the morbid earth himself, Gaybo held Vice at gunpoint and forced him to do it for him. After several hours, they

finally uncovered a coffin. The wood, once crafted from rich mahogany was rotted. A myriad of holes littered the curved lid, chewed through by eager worms.

And speaking of holes...

They lifted the lid. The corpse was not exactly fresh. Gray skin, blood having already settled to the bottom of the bloated cadaver. Maggots festered in bursting, liquifying intestines. There was, however, one part that was still intact. That was all Gay Robot needed.

Vice asked worriedly while Gaybo advanced, "待って、そこにペニスを突っ込むつもりはないよね？これはただのミームだよね？そうでしょ！？"

He received no answer. Gaybo simply walked forward in somber, somewhat disgusted silence.

The horrors Vice witnessed that night. The noises. The squelching. The maggots flying everywhere from powerful thrusts. He will not soon forget.