O Little Town Of Bethlehem, New Hampshire

**O Little Town Of Bethlehem, New Hampshire** was a "The Fight Before Christmas" one shot DMed by Shane. A child had been born in Bethlehem, New Ham[shire, and it was up to four Irish children to convince that child to be the next Santa Claus.

## Background

‘Twas the night before Christmas,/ and you’re ready for bed.

No adventure this year-/ you’re ready for bed.

Oh last year was fun/ with its elf worker drama

But this year? No thanks!/ You’re in your pyjamas!

Twelve months had passed/ since you fought Santa, the villain

And that bourgeois pig/ had been replaced by young Dylan.

Dylan as Santa/ had given you with some hope,

Until, on your bed-/ another gold envelope.

You opened it up,/ and rolled your eyes-

The elves needed help!/ Oh *what a surprise*.

“Greetings from the Workers’/ Republic of North Pole!

Thank you for assisting us/ in achieving our goal.

We hate to do this/ for the second year running

But we need your help,/ your guile and your cunning.

Everything was fine./ We made all the presents.

But once the reindeer came out/ things got unpleasant.

Once Dylan was gone,/ we put out the call

We need someone new/ to bring gifts to all”

You pause at this point,/ slightly confused.

Dylan had left?/ Or was he refused?

“We had a few applicants./ Too many in fact.

The workshop is getting/ a little bit packed.

But worse than that,/ to our collective dismay,

They can not agree/ who will get to drive the sleigh.

Now we think we know/ how to solve this dispute

And pick the person/ who will wear the red suit.

It’ll be a quick adventure!/ It won’t take that long!

I’ll see you soon./ Best wishes, Ding Dong.”

And just like last year,/ there’s a flash of gold,

And you’re at the North Pole/ and really quite cold.

You sigh. It seems/ this night will be late.

It’s time to save Christmas/ two thousand and eight.

## Synopsis

Meadhbh, Lig, Jack, and Caoimhe all appeared at the North Pole, outside Santa's Workshop. Ding Dong recounted to the group the plot of The Communist Manifestive, and explained that in the year since then the elves had overthrown Dylan and had started ruling themselves. The issue however was that while the elves could rule themselves, they still needed someone to fly the sleigh and deliver gifts to all the children of the world. They had put out an open call for recruitment, to which nine festive gift bringers from around the world responded. The elves and the gift bringers couldn't agree between them who would fly the sleigh however, and now it was Christmas Eve and they were cutting it a little tight. Fortunately, however, a child was being born in the town of Bethlehem, New Hampshire, who Ding Dong believed could be the next Santa Claus. All the children would need to do to persuade him is to bring him three gifts.

The children then made their way over to the sleigh, where Meadhbh asked Comet if the reindeer would take them to New Hampshire. Comet said yes, as did Rudolph, and the children hopped in the sleigh. However they were then confronted by Père Noël, who attempted to stop them leaving as a driver had not been picked. He let them go as the children convinced him the other giftbringers had called him the worst Santa, and he started a fistfight.

The children and reindeer then took off into the night. As they neared the town of Bethlehem, they were taken down by a monstrously large and angry creature- Grumbo, the Lost Reindeer. Nearly all of the reindeer were separated from the sleigh, and the children crashed with Donner and Blitzen into a field just outside the town. They then went into to look for, at Lig’s suggestion, a Forbidden Planet.

While the group couldn’t locate a Forbidden Planet, they did find the Three Of Cups antique store, where they figured they might be able to buy a toy/ask where Forbidden Planet was. Inside, they met a native New Hampshirite with a typical New Hampshire accent. She explained that there was no Forbidden Planet in Bethlehem. She then showed the children the toys she could sell them. A model train caught their eye, but they didn’t have any money to buy it. The children made a deal with the shopkeeper that she would give them the train if they could get the enormous Yule Cat to move out of her car park. Lig tried to gently pet it, but just sort of pushed it a bit, before Meadhbh was able to get it to chase after her. Managing to escape into an alleyway unseen, Meadhbh rejoined the group as the cat wandered off into the woods. The shopkeeper then gave the children the train.

The children then used the Three Of Cups wifi to locate the nearest Hot Topic- which they found, in Manchester, an hour and a half drive away. They persuaded the shopkeeper to drive them there, but as they left town, they ran into Grumbo again. The shopkeeper managed to swerve out of the way of Grumbo’s charge, but the car became stuck in a ditch. Annoyed that they couldn’t get to Hot Topic, Caoimhe picked up a rock, and declared that it was the second gift. The children then agreed to look in the Bethlehem Village Store for something.

Inside the supermarket, they were met with the sight of the store owner cowering behind the till, and thirteen gnomelike creatures- the Yule Lads- terrorising the shop. The shop owner asked the group to help him, but instead of that they decided one of the Yule Lads would make a good present. Meadhbh grabbed Spoon Licker, and they left the shop.

With their three gifts secured, the children then had to figure out how they were going to find the child of Bethlehem. A man shovelling snow outside the bank was no help, so, thinking on their feet, the children called an ambulance, as Caoimhe pretended to faint. When the paramedic arrived, he was unconvinced by Caoimhe’s performance, and refused to take the children to the hospital. He did however let slip that no child had been born that night, and that the only family with a baby born recently lived on Maple Street. The children thanked the paramedic and made their way to Maple Street.

Lig managed to find a car with a “baby on board” sign, and rang the doorbell of the house it was outside. A man answered, and they explained to him that his new baby was going to be Santa and that they had gifts for them. The man took the rock, but would not take Spoon Licker, and closed the door. They rang the door again, and he refused to give back the rock. Both he and the children then rang the police. Caoimhe found another rock, and the group left before the police arrived.

The group then noticed a golden light shining a little ways down the road, and they moved towards it. Arriving at the Nativity scene outside the town hall, they found a ball of golden energy, which quickly exploded into the form of a new Santa. Naming him Babysanta Santababy Hurrydownthechimneytonight, they gave him his gifts. He graciously accepted the model train, but found the rock to be unimpressive and Spoon Licker to be morally questionable. Lig then gave him a spoon they had stolen from the supermarket, but they were still one gift short. They were able to make a deal with Spoon Licker however: if they gave him another spoon to lick, he would give them his hat.

The group made their way to the nearby Italian restaurant, Rosa Flamingo’s. Inside, they found the restaurateurs stewing in a large cauldron, and two angry giants. The giants were enthusiastic about eating the children, but one of them, Gryla, said she’d let them live if they correctly answered her questions about the year they had just had. While Jack was able to name the Olympic host city and Caoimhe was able to recount that a shoe had been thrown at George Bush, Meadhbh couldn’t name the Taoiseach, and Lig couldn’t remember the Higgs Boson. As such, Gryla threw Meadhbh and Lig into her cauldron, and gave Jack and Caoimhe each a spoon. Not satisfied to be eaten, the children staged a daring escape, rang the fire department, got Donner and Blitzen to gore the two giants, and ran outside. The second giant, Leppaludi, was intent on eating Lig, however Meadhbh threw a chair at his head, and he died.

Meadhbh then tried to use some carrots from the kitchen to attract the lost reindeer. Rudolph and Dasher arrived, and Meadhbh told Rudolph to go use his nose to round up the other reindeer. The children then gave Spoon Licker another spoon, and gave Spoon Licker’s hat to Babysanta. Babysanta was then shot by the Easter Bunny.

As Grumbo arrived on the scene, the Easter Bunny explained he was sick of Christmas having more cultural capital than Easter, and went to shoot Donner. As Jack attempted to staunch Babysanta’s bleeding, Meadhbh persuaded Grumbo to stop being evil. Caoimhe threw a fireman’s axe at the Easter Bunny, and Lig jumped in front of a bullet intended for Donner. Caoimhe then had to staunch Lig’s bleeding, Jack went and got one of the firemen to administer first aid to Babysanta, and Meadhbh riled up Dasher enough to gore the Easter Bunny. Dasher impaled the Bunny on his antlers and flew a few dozen feet into the air, before shaking him off his antlers. Another fireman stabilised Lig, and Rudolph returned with the rest of the reindeer. The children thanked the firemen, and then returned to the North Pole with Babysanta and Grumbo.

At the North Pole, Ding Dong thanked them for sort of saving Christmas, although he wasn’t sure how they were going to deliver presents without a sleigh. None of the children really gave a shit, and they were all sent home in a flash of light.

## NPCs

* Ding Dong
* Père Noël
* Tío de Nadal
* Santa's reindeer
	+ Rudolph
	+ Dasher
	+ Vixen
	+ Comet
	+ Donner
	+ Blitzen
* Grumbo
* Yule Cat
* The Yule Lads
	+ Candle Stealer
	+ Spoon Licker
	+ Window Peeper
	+ Gully Gawk
* Babysanta Hurrydownthechimneytonight
* Gryla
* Leppaludi
* Easter Bunny

## Locations

* The North Pole
* Bethlehem
	+ Two Of Cups
	+ Bethlehem Village Store
	+ Maple Street
	+ Bethlehem Town Hall
	+ Rosa Flamingo's
* Manchester (mentioned only)