Crash Bandicoot

woah

> "I am Crash Bandicoot. Oh God." ~ Crash Bandicoot
>
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**Crashworth Cortex the First** (better known as **Crash Bandicoot**) is an anthropomorphic, orange-furred Eastern barred bandicoot who loves to eat wumpa fruit, jump on boxes and spin around.

While he is a famous video game character, he has become quite famous in the OneyPlays lore after Chris did a voiceover of him saying "*woah"*.

The Crash Bandicoot franchise was once one of Chris's favorite game series, but not after the '*Pancake Inccident of 2007'*, though he has since been removed once more with his latest game.

## History

### World War Crash

According to fello animator Cas Van De Pol, Crash and his kind are a virus, caused by the abuse and true nature of the human memsters. After finding his true form, he made it his goal to destory the Human Race by turning them to the Crashbandicootitus, and in that world, he was successful.

### The Looter Arc

One day Crash was eating his shoes as per usual, but the shoes had a powerful force placed by a Ancient Trickster, making him hell bent on killing his father Dr. Cortex.

He has since been found out to be a looter, stealing all of the wumpa fruit to place them in the levels of his game (which makes The Suicidal Theory seem more plausible).

### The Crash Massacre

Although Crash is categorized as a hero, he also has a darker side.

Besides being a looter, he has also recently been found to be a paedophile, and was invited to be on the show *How To Catch A Predator* with Chris Hansen.

The episode itself went as it usually would until the interrogation, in which Crash didn't want to answer any of the questions Chris was asking, eventually snapping and spinning Chris around. After escaping the set of the show, he bellyflopped and crouchkicked the policemen outside. After running away from the scene, helicopters were sent to capture him, but during the chase he found Aku Aku and killed them all in the worst massacre America has ever seen.

## Theories

There are some theories about Crash that have been agreed upon to be hidden from his young fans. Some of these theories are:

### The Suicidal Theory

This theory suggests that Crash designed all levels in the entire franchise with the sole intent to kill himself, since he's suicidal. This has proven to be very effective if true, especially if the player is a big stinker at his games.

### The Plank Theory

This theory suggests that Crash's companion Aku Aku could actually be a past version of the plank from Ed, Edd N' Eddy.

### The Future Crash Theory (debunked)

This theory suggests that Aku Aku could actually be Crash from the future, with each feather of his representing a time period of his life (recently, the feathers have actually been revealed to represent Gay Pride rather than any life eventes of Crash's, ultimately disproving this theory).

### The Billy & Mandy Theory

According to this theory, Crash could actually be both Billy and Mandy from *The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy* in the same body, hence his very childish manner, along with having a parental figure voiced by Greg Eagles.

### The Bowser Theory

This theory states that all the boxes in the entire franchise were possibly placed in secret by Bowser from the *Super Mario* franchise.

### The Undertale Theory

This theory suggests that Papyrus and Sans have secretly put Crash somewhere in Undertale, since he is actually Ness.

## Notable Quotes

* "Woah!"
* "Yee-haw!"
* "Pancakes!"
* "My name is Crash Bandicoot and I like my mask! I am a bandicoot with a mask! I found it in a blanket."
* "HELP! TAWNA BROUGHT ME INTO THE TREES!"
* ”I fight for social justice, what do you do you filthy POC?”
* "Crash Bandicoot... smelling my hair, playing the flute..."
* ”I L i e k t o f u c -“
* "I just flew in from the new ruins level, and BOY are my arms tired!"