recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Adrián Marín Lugo

**Adrián Marín Lugo** es un futbolista mexicano. Juega de Delantero y su club actual son los Leones Negros de la U de G.

## Trayectoria

Inicio su Carrera en San Luis, pero antes estuvo en el Excelsior en la ciudad de Monterrey. debuto el Viernes 20 de Enero de 2012 con el equipo sanluisino, luego fue enviado a Lobos BUAP, donde tuvo buenas actuaciones.

Poco después el Nuevo Chiapas (Antes era San Luis) lo regresa de nuevo a sus filas, y también teniendo actuaciones destacables, ahora lo volvieron a prestar, esta vez al América. solo estuvo 1 torneo, poco después, regresa al equipo chiapaneco al terminar préstamo.

El 22 de abril de 2016 fue separado del club por supuesta indisciplina.

Tras un paso por distintos equipos, incluyendo uno centroamericano y uno de la Liga de Balompié Mexicano, para 2021 llega a Dorados de Sinaloa.

Luego de un año en el extranjero en equipos como Tuledano y Malacateco, el 27 de diciembre de 2022 se anuncia su llegada a los Leones Negros.
Character Skills

Skills can be used after a certain period of time elapses on a mission or requirements are met. Each character has a unique skill that boosts your stats, depending on the effect. Most skills usually boost the highest stat, but some, such as the Historia remake, Blue-eyed Beauty, boost the lowest stat. To increase effects, upgrading the character's Skill Level with Precious Gold will do so. Precious Gold is not Golden Coins. They are a material that is only earned from the daily mission.

The Promising Newcomer has the ability to up speed by 50% on the first skill level. It is effective to escape or land attack after attack in quick succession.

The Massive Veteran is a powerful bull, able to put everything into the next strike against a Giant. His power is Doubled for a few seconds, enough for one or two blows. It's effective for quick, effective slaughter.

The Blue-eyed Beauty is a daffodil. Her health sucks so her skill heals her. Not very useful. Still, her abilities allow her to zoom across the field and help team mates. Give her the best of the best, just like your girlfriend.
Promising Newcomer

Age
 Status
 Weight

Promising Newcomer is the first character you get and he, or she, resembles Eren Jaeger.

The Character is well rounded in stats and has a good starter skill the moment you start. The starting skill is a boost to your speed, allowing you to dodge the grasping Titans' hands and retaliate in a flurry of strikes.

Still, you probably don't want to look genaric. The more experienced veterans might want to go down the speed or power path, meaning swapping characters. Others can go on playing with this Promising character and have devastating effects. Most of your gameplay is based off your skill and gear equipped. It's all has to do with the grind.

Remember to go Online to gain more Characters! Completing the daily goal outside the walls grants a ticket that can be used with the Gatchas. Don't be discouraged when you don't get one, but keep on fighting for Humanity!
Aldieri Valenzuela

**Aldieri Josué Valenzuela García**  es un futbolista mexicano que juega como defensa para Dorados de Sinaloa.

## Trayectoria

Empezó jugando en las fuerzas básicas de los Dorados de Sinaloa desde el año 2020 donde estuvo jugando con la filial de tercera división, debutó con el primer equipo el 15 de octubre de 2022 ante Tapatío.
Alianza Unetefan

**Alianza Unetefan** es un Club de Fútbol Profesional de Apodaca, Nuevo León, México. Juegan para la Tercera División de la Federación Mexicana de Fútbol Asociación.

Es el único equipo de fútbol profesional dirigido por aficionados y que milita en el grupo XII de la Tercera División Mexicana.

Unetefan nace con la misión de crear un equipo de fútbol profesional que tuviera participación, voz y voto de todos los aficionados del club. En este equipo la afición manda, desde ponerle el nombre al club hasta quien salta a la cancha a sudar la camisa cada partido.Unetefan es como un fútbol virtual, pero en la vida real.

Tu decides lo que va a pasar en este equipo de fútbol. Al conocer a los jugadores iras armando un equipo más fuerte, es democratizar el fútbol. Además los aficionados con mayor participación formaran un consejo de fanáticos que apoyaran a la directiva a llevar por buen rumbo los deseos de la afición. Anteriormente el equipo conto con la difusión de Multimedios Televisión.

## Historia

2007 -29 Septiembre- Se llegó a la meta de 1000 aficionados apoyando el movimiento futbolero de UNETEFAN.

2008 - 9 Enero- Los aficionados decidieron que el escudo y nombre oficial que representaría a esta hinchada seria Alianza Aficionados Futbol Club y que lo representaría las flamas de la pasión de un equipo y su afición.

26 Enero- Arranca "Buscando a los 11" reality show donde los aficioandos seleccionarían a los juagdores del club Alianza Unetefan Aficionados Futbol Club.
23 Agosto- Alianza Unetefan A.F.C. juega contra Tigres S.D. su primer partido oficial en la tercera división empatando a 2 tantos.

23 Agosto- Gerardo Garcia anota el primer gol oficil en la historia del club, el segundo del duelo ante tigres (el primer tanto fue autogol a tiro de Hugo "Chiva" Herrera).
13 Septiembre- Se obtiene el primer triunfo en la tercera división porfesional, 3 a 0 vs Alazapas de Sabinas. Los anotadores: Oscar "Moscar" Rodríguez, Hugo "Chiva" Herrera y por la vía del penal Adrian "Chino" Alvarado.

5 Octubre- Se obtiene el primer triunfo en la tercera división porfesional como visitante, 0 a 1 vs Xicotencatl. El anotador: Adrian "Chino" Alvarado.

2009 - Mayo de 2009- ALIANZA UNETEFAN AFC en su primer temporada como equipo profesional terminó en el 7° lugar de la tabla general del grupo XII de la tercera división, y 6° como equipo de ascenso.
Agosto de 2009- Se presenta al nuevo entrenador de ALIANZA UNETEFAN AFC, Rodrigo Barragan Salinas -ex jugador profesional- e inicia la segunda temporada del equipo en el profesionalismo.
Noviembre de 2009- Unetefan llega a su primer liguilla enfrentándose a los Troyanos de la UDEM.
2010

Junio-Julio de 2010- Se realiza el Reality Show "Buscando a los 11" en Multimedios Television.

Septiembre de 2010- Alianza Unetefan llega a los 51 Aliados y 1336 Aficionados.

El 23 de agosto de 2008 debutaron contra el equipo de Tigres S.D., esto en la Cueva de Zuazua, partido en el que empataron 2-2.

En 2013 desaparecieron por falta de recursos.

* Estadisticas Oficiales de Alianza Unetefan en Ligas afiliadas a la Federación Mexicana de Fútbol.
Abel Fuentes

**Abel Fuentes** es un futbolista mexicano que juega en la posición de defensa central. Actualmente juega en el equipo de Chapulineros de Oaxaca y anteriormente formó parte de la plantilla de equipos de fuerzas básicas de Tigres de la UANL y del Club Deportivo Guadalajara. Participó con la selección juvenil en el Torneo Esperanzas de Toulon de 2013.

## Trayectoria

Surge de las fuerzas básicas de Tigres y para el Clausura 2013 es cedido a Chivas con opción de compra.

Debutó en Primera División el día viernes 5 de abril de 2013, en un partido entre los equipos Jaguares de Chiapas y Guadalajara, el cual fue disputado en Tuxtla Gutiérrez, Chiapas, Entró por Víctor Perales en el segundo tiempo del partido.
Blue-Eyed Beauty

Age
 Weight

The Beauty is based off of Christa or Historia Reiss. She is short and her attacks are somewhat weak compared to males but her speed and abilities with VDM Gear. She is equal to the Massive Veteran and Promising Newcomer on level one, but her strength can't kill many Titans with DMD blades. She will need a lot more than a STD blade and A-12 to really get going, but once she's level 20, her power will be quite high. You wont miss her weak side.

With her abilities being for healing and helping, you might want to jump into an online mission first and heal every once few seconds and slash like crazy. That should get you enough EXP to level up and increase her stats. You might also want to get rid of her Level Limit for the cheap cost of 3 Precious Gold. It will help immensely while playing. So be sure to earn a few extra items and materials before you even get her, no matter how difficult it is to earn a single character.

Her skill restores health during resting periods. No other character does this. So kiss this Blue-Eyed Beauty.
Adolfo Ríos

**Adolfo Ríos** es un político y ex-futbolista mexicano que se desempeñaba como portero.

## Trayectoria

Surgió de la cantera del Club Universidad Nacional, con quien debutaría en el Torneo México 1986. Su debut fue el 3 de noviembre de 1985 saliendo en la segunda parte contra el Club Deportivo Guadalajara en el Estadio Olímpico Universitario.

De inmediato se convirtió en titular permaneciendo en este club hasta la temporada 1990-91, tras la cual es traspasado a los Tiburones Rojos de Veracruz, para pasar después al Necaxa en 1997, en donde conquista el título del Invierno 1998, se llevó tres citlalis como mejor portero y fue convocado a la selección nacional, esa fue su mejor época y por ello llegaría su incorporación al Club América, permaneciendo hasta su retiro en 2004, logrando excelentes actuaciones en las Copas Libertadores (2000, 2002 y 2004) y contribuyendo a terminar con la sequía de campeonatos del equipo, (después de 13 años) conquistando el título del Verano 2002 cuando se fueron 2-2 a tiempos extras gracias a un gol de Iván Zamorano.

Entre 2004 y 2010 se desempeñó como entrevistador en su programa Estilo Digital y como comentarista en la cadena Televisa.

El 30 de agosto de 2012 fue presentado como vicepresidente deportivo de Gallos Blancos de Querétaro,​ cargo que ocupó hasta el 16 de diciembre de 2014. Durante su gestión, el club de Querétaro fichó al futbolista brasileño Ronaldinho y al delantero argentino Camilo Sanvezzo, único jugador del club que se ha distinguido como máximo goleador de la liga.

## Selección nacional

En la Copa América de 1997 fue el guardameta titular de la selección mexicana, donde logró una destacada actuación, la más importante, en la tanda de penaltis contra la selección ecuatoriana, atajando los tiros de Luis Capurro, Rosero y Ulises de la Cruz, dando así a México el pase a semifinales.
Altamira Fútbol Club

## **Altamira**

El **Altamira Fútbol Club**, mejor conocido como **Estudiantes de Altamira**, es un equipo de fútbol mexicano de la ciudad de Altamira, en el estado de Tamaulipas, actualmente milita en la Liga MXA Independiente.

## Historia

El 12 de julio del 2001, cientos de jóvenes acudieron a la convocatoria del club con el fin de formar parte del equipo de Segunda división mexicana. El Altamira Fútbol Club fue fundado oficialmente el 9 de agosto del 2001.

Fue filial de los equipo Real San Luis y el Club Universidad Nacional cuando el equipo se encontraba en la Primera División 'A' de México, sin embargo el equipo cayó al descenso durante el torneo Clausura 2005.

El 4 de enero del 2004 el también denominado "Equipo de las Huastecas", se vistió de gala al recibir la visita de los Pumas de la UNAM con todas sus estrellas y su flamante Director Técnico Hugo Sánchez Márquez, para jugar un partido amistoso, previo al arranque del torneo Clausura 2004.

En el año 2009, Estudiantes de Altamira se ha dado a conocer en todo México por tener un gran plantel, jugó dos fases de finales, siendo el torneo Clausura que llegara hasta la semifinal, y en el torneo apertura que recientemente terminó jugara la gran final del circuito de la Segunda División de México.

El equipo regresa a jugar en la Liga de Ascenso luego que los equipos finalistas en la Segunda División de México no tienen derecho a ascenso por ser filiales, es así como para la temporada 2007-2008 ocuparan una plaza más en la Liga de Ascenso de México.

En 2015, desaparecieron por falta de apoyo, tanto economicamente, como moralmente en asistencias al estadio.

En 2020 el equipo regresa, primero ingresando a la Liga MXA Independiente, y después busca su ingreso a la Liga Balompié Mexicano, que finalmente no se dio y se quedo en la MXA Independiente.

## Uniforme y escudo

**Su escudo:**
Representa las actividades más importantes que dan solidez al gran Puerto Industrial de Altamira, en el fondo un timón como símbolo de direccionalidad. El azul marítimo y lo blanco de la espuma de las aguas del Golfo de México.

**Sus colores:**
Azul Marino y Blanco, por ser propios de las zonas marítimas.

### Uniformes actuales

* **Uniforme local**: Camiseta blanca con rayas horizontales azules, pantalón y medias blancas.
* **Uniforme visitante**: Camiseta azul con detalles blancos, pantalón y medias azules.
* **Uniforme alternativo**: Camiseta negra con gris y detalles verde fosforescente, pantalón y medias negras.

### Patrocinadores Actuales

A continuación se muestra la lista de patrocinadores actuales del club (Temporada 2014-15):

**Proveedor:**

* Lotto

**Patrocinador:**

* Coca Cola

### Patrocinadores Anteriores

A continuación se presentan en orden cronológico el fabricante de las indumentarias y los patrocinadores principales que han aparecido en la camiseta del club.

**Indumentaria**

**Patrocinador Principal**

Plantilla:Clear

## Jugadores

Categoría principal: *Futbolistas del Altamira FC*
Decorations

## Am I a Pretty Girl?

Decorations are the vanity and customization section of this game. They are widely equipped to spruce up the characters, as well as boost stats. Currently, there are three series to choose from. The Medieval Weapons series, the Ninja Warrior series, and the Hats series. The Medieval series focuses on attack and survivability of your Blades. The Ninja series focuses on the maneuverability of your character while also giving a bit of bite. The hats are all hats and they boost life and swag.

### How are they equipped?

By opening the equipment screen, you can see a purple section. Below it is the link to buy more decorative equipment. Once you get one or two decorations, you will start seeing some sections. There are a few of them, though a few haven't been discovered yet. The left and right blades are able to become decorations, as well as having weapons on your arms. You can equip hats and capes as well.

After that, we are still searching and spending our Gold.

Each of these sections boost your stats and make it easier to slay the Giants. Speed, power, and health should be balanced, but going strongly into strength, that is also cool. Just beware that some decorations could cost you armor or speed very quickly. Once you do decide, you should watch your weaknesses and use your strengths. Though it may be up to you, your skills might not able to cope with the fast pace you need to keep up with. For example, play mission 3 or 5, which require speed. Not that you are a bad player, but there are some missions that need expert skill.
Dragonstone 29

**Chapter 29**

This chapter describes a forest.

This forest is awesome and beautiful and gorgeous and so on. It is noteworthy only because it is destined to be destroyed. Not in this book, mind you, but in a future book.

Four thousand years in the future.

\~/\~/

I am adding a drink every time we get one of these utterly pointless forest chapters. Four drinks. \~/\~/\~/\~/

Moving on.

Drinks: 6

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Alejandro Pérez

* Cuerpo Técnico
* Futbolista

**Alejandro Pérez Macías** es un ex-futbolista y entrenador mexicano, actualmente dirige al Chihuahua FC.

## Trayectoria

Debuto en 1993 con Pumas, estuvo por 6 años hasta que paso a los Tecos en el 99.

Luego solo estuvo un semestre en Chivas, para retirarse en 2005 con Alacranes de Durango.

Como cuerpo técnico empezó de auxiliar en tercera, y luego en 2010, estuvo como auxiliar de Guillermo Vázquez en Pumas, en donde logro el campeonato del Clausura 2011.

Luego, estuvo en Reynosa, como auxiliar de Ramón Villa Zeballos, en 2016 con Zacatepec auxiliando a Carlos Gutiérrez Barriga, y luego regresó a Reynosa, como auxiliar de Esteban Mejía, pero se quedó como técnico interino ante la salida de este.

Luego fungió como Técnico de Alebrijes de Oaxaca en el Ascenso MX, en ese año logro un liderato con el equipo oaxaqueño, y ganaron el campeonato al derrotar en la final al Zacatepec, siendo este su primer titulo como entrenador en solitario, ya que había ganado uno como auxiliar de Memo Vázquez.

En 2020 deja la dirección técnica de Alebrijes para volver a trabajar con Carlos Gutiérrez Barriga, ahora en Venados. En 2021 fue anunciado como nuevo director técnico de Pumas Tabasco, donde su función principal fue la formación de jugadores. Sin embargo, en marzo de 2022, tras perder 1-0 con Tepatitlán FC, fue destituido de su cargo.

El 26 mayo de 2023 fue anunciado como entrenador del Chihuahua FC.

## Palmarés

 Torneo Clausura 2011 | UNAM Pumas (A.X)
 Torneo Apertura 2019 (Ascenso MX) | Alebrijes de Oaxaca | México | 2019

* Ficha Técnica de ***Alejandro Pérez*** en  (**Enlace Roto**)
Andy García

**Andy Arnold García Sandoval** es un futbolista mexicano que juega como defensa.

## Trayectoria

Futbolista que milito con la UACH en 2014, luego pasaría al Toluca, primero jugando en su filial premier, debuto en copa el 14 de febrero de 2017, ante Tiburones Rojos de Veracruz.

Luego militaría en clubes como Zamora, La Piedad y actualmente en Alacranes, equipo donde logro el titulo del Apertura 2021 y el Campeón de Campeones, en 2022 volvería a jugar en Chihuahua con la nueva franquicia llamada Chihuahua FC aunque solo dura un año ya que para la temporada 2023-24 los jugadores categoría 94 y 95 (donde esta el) ya no podrán jugar más en la división.

## Palmarés

 Campeón de Campeones (Liga Premier) Serie A
Aldo Polo

**Aldo Polo** es un futbolista mexicano nacido el 31 de agosto de 1983. Juega como medio para los Venados de la Liga de Ascenso de México.

## Trayectoria

Aldo Polo comienza su carrera como futbolista en la Tercera División de México con el club Tordos del Atlético Huejutla en el año 2000 en donde fue Campeón Goleador de la Tercera División prefesional.

Posteriormente formó parte de Tecamachalco Fútbol Club donde jugó del 2002 al 2004. En ese mismo año fue traspasado al Altamira Fútbol Club de la Segunda División de México donde jugaría solo un año.

Para el 2005, Aldo ficha con el Correcaminos de la UAT de la Liga de Ascenso de México. A finales del 2005, ficha con los Dorados de Sinaloa de la misma división antes de ser traspasado al Club León donde jugaría desde el 2006 al 2010. En el 20112 ficha con el Puebla Fútbol Club de la Primera División Mexicana para ser parte de la Apertura 2011-12. Durante un partido de el Puebla FC de local, un comentarista reconoció a Aldo por el ex-baterista de los Beatles Ringo Starr, debido a su apariencia física.

Ha hecho varios goles en la Liga de Ascenso, pero no tardó para que llegara su primer gol en la Primera División, pues en un partido donde el Puebla F.C. perdía 2-1 de visitantes contra el Atlas de Guadalajara, Aldo anota el gol del empate en el último minuto y con esto dejó eufórica a la afición rojinegra y dejó al Atlas de Guadalajara sin ninguna victoria en el Estadio Jalisco en el Torneo Apertura del 2012.

En junio de 2013 pasa a ser parte del plantel de los Dorados de Sinaloa.
Temple 34

**Chapter 34**

We rejoin Kahlan, Cara and Berdine as they ride to Wizards' Keep in a snowstorm, Kahlan on Nick the Gentlest Warhorse, and Cara on a nameless horse she has terrorized into submission. We get a brief infodump on the Keep, and how the stupid scum commoners think it's dangerous, but Kahlan knows it's only dangerous to the ignorant. So . . . it *is* dangerous, then.

Cara is scared of the magic of the Keep, and Kahlan tries to reassure her, stating that she knows ways in that don't require any magic. Kahlan says that she's Cara's dudebro, and she'll protect her, \~/ and Cara says she can trust her dudebro. \~/\~/

Kahlan and the Mindrapists make their way to a courtyard where they turn the horses loose to *"frisk in the mild air if they wished."* Because "frisking" is a thing trained warhorses do in an unfamiliar place, at night, in a snowstorm.

Our Heroines wander around the Keep and it's implied that Cara is afraid of rats. They eventually find a library, one of twenty-six according to Kahlan. This is the library dedicated to legal matters, such as trials. They find the relevant books and skim through them, but have no luck in finding the one they need. Eventually, Kahlan decides to head down to the area where the sliph lives, thinking their might be more books down there, and the chapter ends.

Drinks: 3.

<Previous Chapter - Next Chapter>
Attack on battlefield online Wikia

## Welcome to the Attack on battlefield online Wikia

This wiki is based off of the game Attack on Battlefield Online which we highly recommend you download onto your mobile

## Rules

The rules are here and they apply to everyone including admins and contributers

First off no vandalizing

No major cussing like the f word or s word

no pointless pages or pictures unless it's for a suggestion

no begging admins for rights

no spam

no being mean seriously you insult someone and you get a 7 day ban

no sexual stuff

You can make references to Attack on Titan but make sure there are no spoilers your allowed to say who they look like but thats it here's a example Promising Newcomer = Mikasa Ackerman

No shock pages (pages that shock you)

Nothing that induces seizures

and most of all DONT hate

## Latest activity

Photos and videos are a great way to add visuals to your wiki. Find videos about your topic by exploring Wikia's Video Library.

File:Placeholder
Massive Veteran

Age
 Weight

The Massive Veteran is the character based off of Reiner in Attack on

Titan. He is better than the Promising Newcomer in skill, but the chances of obtaining him is rare. His attack, defense, and walking speed are higher due to his general bulk of muscle, but his attacking range, VMG speed and his general flying skills are lower.

The Major Veteran's unique skill is a large leap in attack power and manuverability. His massive strength can bring a intermediate Titan to his knees in one shot with basic blades. But with great power comes a time limit. Ten seconds is only enough for a few shots. Remember to plan out when to use it.

Remember to go Online for more characters! Also note it is by completing the daily mission that you can gain new characters through the tickets. Tickets can be spent on Decoration Gatchas as well as the Character caller. Don't be discouraged when you don't get one, but continue the fight for Humanity! These quests are hard and require finding specific items and killing many Giants, or Titans.
Blood 11

**Chapter 11**

This chapter begins with Galtero reporting to Brogan on the odd doings of the D'Harans in Aydindril. Galtero describes how, at midafternoon, every D'Haran in the city surrounded the Mindrapists' Palace, bowed ith their foreheads to the ground, and chanted hosannas to Richard for two full hours. Also, apparently D'Harans have some sort of hive-mind, since *every D'Haran in the city and for miles around it took part in this.*

I could accept that General Rei managed to get word to a large percentage of the D'Harans in Aydindril. I could accept that, when the ones he didn't reach saw what was going on, they decided to join in. But I cannot accept that he got word to **every single D'Haran within several miles of the city.**

So, D'Harans officially have a hive-mind now. \~/ Bloody marvelous.

We also learn that Richard *“stood atop the steps of the grand entrance and watched.”* for the entire two hours. Brogan is disgusted with this: *“Imagine, praying to a mere man,”* and once again, I tend to agree with him. Anyway, at the end of the two-hour slap in the face to religion devotion, the D'Harans all *“leaped into the air, cheering and whooping for a good long time.”* I think the implication here is that life under Richard is just so awesome and peachy-keen compared to life under Darken Rahl . . . but of course, Richard hasn't really done anything as Lord Rahl yet. Thus, the cynic in me thinks they're just whooping and hollering out of fear that Richard – who, remember, just insisted that they **bow down and worship him for two hours while he stood and stared at** them – will slaughter them all if they show any signs of dissent. \~/

We learn that Brogan is invited to the Mindrapists' Palace, by way of a hastily-scrawled message to “a*ll dignitaries, diplomat and officials,”* which is one of the most insulting ways I can think of to invite the rulers of your neighboring nations to anything. Furthermore, it's heavily implied outright stated that if Brogan doesn't show up soon, the D'Haran soldiers will abduct him.

Is Richard *trying* to provoke everyone into becoming his enemies? Because if so, he's doing a Hitleriffic job of it. \~/

Brogan finally says, fine, we'll go attend Rahl's little soiree and then continue the Hunt for the Mother Mindrapist. Lunetta points out that she's probably concealing her identity with magic, and how does Brogan intend to get past that? They eventually work out that, since it takes a wizard to cast a death spell (men > women; remember that, kids), it will probably take a wizard to break it. Lunetta happens to know about the Big Stone Witch House because her mother told her *“it be a place where sorceresses train men to be wizards.”* Brogan decides to head for the Big Stone Witch House as soon as possible.

On the way out they stop by Ettore, who has Granny and the Creepy Little Girl captured and is heating up some branding irons. There's the usual Inquisition-style dialogue, and Brogan, Galtero and Lunetta leave.

Drinks: 3

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
The Perils of Effrijim

### **The Perils of Effrijim,** *by Katie MacAlister*

Let me start this spork by stating that I have not read anything else Ms. MacAlister has written, including her other Aisling Grey novels. My only exposure to these characters has come from a hilarious (and sadly, now vanished) spork on ImpishIdea, so I am approaching this short story from a neutral point of view. I am of the opinion that someone reading a short story in an anthology ought to be able to understand and appreciate the story without having read any novels featuring the characters.

## Inevitable Drinking Game

Take a drink \~/ every time

* Something is supposed to be funny and isn't;
* Jim's genitals are referred to;
* Something is excessively sexual for no good reason;
* Something isn't explained that should be;
* Something really stupid happens.

Ready? No? Too bad!

* Effrijim Chapter 1
* Effrijim Chapter 2
* Effrijim Chapter 3
* Effrijim Chapter 4
Online Missions

The Missions you can play online obviously require constant internet access. To join, or host, any of the games, your character requires Stamina and a few amazing blades. Other players may be hosting and know what they are doing, but if you are host, remember to set the lobby to private when you are ready to go. This game mode is an effective way to meet up with buddies and earning massive amounts of resources.

Characters are unlocked by playing the daily missions at the bottom, but some missions are only available at certain times. They also vary in skill difficulty. Remember to be prepared for any type of mission and be sure your team can actually help. These missions are vital to your collection of rare items.

Other missions are similar to the Offline Missions and are ranked in difficulty. Be sure your gear is up to the task, or you can go grind away on the Front Lines. Going on Online Missions is the only way to get the most powerful blades without grinding on the final Story mission.

While online, be sure not to use harsh profanity or be rude to people; doing so can earn you a ban from kamasu.jp. Please don't be a gangster. Crime does not pay up.

If you have a comment or suggestion, feel free to edit! Just don't go overboard and delete anything important!
Wizard 1

**Chapter 1**

We start off with a description of a vine and a tree. The vine is “an odd-looking vine,” with pods that “almost seem...to look warily about for witnesses.” It's an eyeball vine, I guess...a criminal eyeball vine, attempting to mug the tree.

I'm thinking of an eyeball vine wearing a black Zorro mask now.

Then we meet our hero, Richard. We get an infodump. Richard has spent most of his life in the woods and knows all about plants. He was taught by an old man named Zedd. He has an older brother named Michael who will probably turn out to be trouble. Why?

“Michael...[had] no interest in the woods, or in Zedd's rambling lectures, preferring to spend his time with people of means.”He spends time with rich people instead of his own family. That's never good in a book like this.

Richard and Michael's father was killed recently, by persons unknown. Daddy used to leave Richard messages in a jar; the last one he left was a piece of vine, which is why Richard is now checking out weird criminal eyeball vines. Having found the vine, Richard tries to pull it off the tree it's wrapped around because...it's an evil, tree-killing vine, I guess. Screw nature.

The eyeball vine “bites” Richard and stabs a thorn into his hand. The thorn is apparently alive, because it burrows into his hand and he can't get it out. Rather that panic and try to dig the highly aggressive thorn out of his hand, Richard...daubs it with sap and ignores it.

What? o\_o

No, really. What kind of person has a thorn burrow into their hand and just shrugs and ignores it? Is this a common occurrence in Richard-land? If I had a vine bite me, and the thorn burrow into my hand, you can bet I'd be pretty upset. Is the thorn poisonous? Is it a magic mind-control thorn? Will it turn me into a yellow musk zombie?

That's a drink, that is. \~/

So instead of panicking like a normal person, Richard daubs his wound with sap from an aum plant. We get this odd image:

“He gave a smile to old Zedd for teaching him how the aum plant made wounds heal faster. The soft fuzzy leaves always made Richard think of Zedd.”

First, “gave a smile?” How can you give a smile, especially to someone who isn't present? Did Richard pull off his mouth and hand it to Zedd? This should have been “He smiled as he thought of Zedd,” or something like that.

Second, now I'm thinking Zedd is soft and fuzzy. He's a wise old teddy bear, he is. He's Zeddy Ruxpin.

Something big flies overhead. Richard can't get a good look at it, but it's red and it has wings. I'm thinking it's a giant cardinal, but what do I know?

We learn that Michael bosses Richard around, and even bossed Daddy around. More evidence that he's Bad News.

Then Richard spots a woman in a dress walking down a trail, followed by four men.

MYSTERIOUS!

Drinks: 1

Back to the Sword of Truth Sporkings  -  Next Chapter>
Dragonstone 3

**Chapter 3**

Arin and Samurai Chick assert their status as protagonists and shove through the crowd to Egil, and the Vikings let these two strange, foreign women in outlandish outfits, one with *two drawn swords,* check on their wounded comrade, because . . .

Because shut up, that's why. \~/ Also, we get three separate references to Samurai Chick being *“yellow”* in one page. \~/\~/\~/

Thar the healer appears, but Arin ignores him since he's not a protagonist. We learn that Egil's left eye was destroyed by a cut, and although the Vikings bandaged it, *“He ripped it off in his nightmares.”* And they didn't bother to restrain him, and instead just figured, eh, open wound, whatever. \~/

Arin notes that the remains of the eye have to come out, and Thar kowtows to her, saying *“He be y'r patient, Lady.”* Never mind that she's a foreigner, a woman, unknown to these people and not even human, much less that no one present has any clue as to her actual skill. Never mind that Thar is the village healer, and is presumably known and trusted by these people. Arin is a main character, so she has to be the one to do it.

So Arin sets people to getting her supplies, then lectures Tharon why using leeches is a bad idea, because if the topic of nonmagical healing comes up in a fantasy novel, some back-assward character must insist on bleeding the patient. It's, like, the law or something. Fortunately, Arin somehow has a working knowledge of modern medicine, and is able to correct poor stupid Thar and his stupid savage beliefs.

Arin sends Samurai Chick and some nameless extras off to gather some blue flowers – well, at least it's not generic “herbs” for once – which she says will fight the fever. Again, Thar is the local healer. I'd expect him to know what local plants are useful in medicine, especially something as simple and basic as a fever.

Arin decides to stick a red-hot knife in Egil's eye-socket, ostensibly to . . . actually, it's never specifically stated why she's doing this. Maybe she's secretly a human-hating sadist and sees an opportunity to torture a human without repercussions. Egil's half-drunk shipmates see no problem with the nonhuman foreigner stabbing a red-hot dagger into the eye of their friend, so six of them hold him down for her.

We also learn that Thar can't even make a sleeping draught or basic anesthetic: *“Egil'll j'st ha'e t' bear up.”* How is this loser a healer? What does he do, aside from slapping bloodsucking swamp worms on people? \~/

Also, more linguistic butchery. \~/ If I took a drink for every example I'd be dead now, but I can't let that one slide.

So Arin stabs Egil in the face with a red-hot knife and the chapter ends.

Drinks: 7

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Dragonstone 37

**Chapter 37**

Our Heroes dock in Jute and we learn that the Jutes keep slaves, or rather *"thralls."* Arin takes a moment to remind us that elves are better than everyone, saying *"Long past, Elvenkind learned that slavery is a great evil, and one day mankind will come to know it as well."* \~/

Why do the sparkly elves get to be capitalized while we smelly humans do not?

Everyone gets rooms at an inn, the Silver Helm, and draw a lot of attention because they're all a bunch of foreign weirdos. Samurai Chick is called *"yellow"* twice in one page \~/\~/, and then a bard sings a couple of songs, while Arin makes a joke-shaped remark that I won't bother repeating. They learn from the serving girl - who is a thrall, if it matters - that Queen Gudrun has declared a month-long festival. No one knows why; they're just glad of it, with the implication being that the queen is erratic. Also, Samurai Chick is preventing Alos from getting any booze. We learn that Alos knows how to play a tambour, which Google informs me is a small drum.

Later that night, Alos tries to sneak past *"the golden warrior,"* \~/ presumably to get some alcohol, as she is *"meditating"* \~/ (it's not just a fancy foreign word for sleep, McKiernan), but is caught.

Next day, Our Heroes do some investigation and learn that only those with specific business are being admitted to the queen's fortress, and "band of foreign weirdos on a quest" probably does not count. People make various suggestions, we're reminded of how disgusting a person Alos is, \~/ and Samurai Chick calls him *"yopparai,"* ("you're drunk"), to which he fires back with *"tispe"* ("bitch"). I'm actually glad to see Alos standing up to Samurai Chick's bullying, and while Arin and Egil don't support him, neither do they shout him down.

More ideas are tossed around, Samurai Chick is referred to as *"golden,"* \~/ and McKiernan uses *"yopparai"* as a noun when I'm pretty sure it's not. \~/ Eventually, Arin decides they're going to disguise themselves as traveling entertainers, or *"jongleurs."*

Our heroes buy some custom-tailored outfits with Arin's inexhaustible supply of wealth and move to the fanciest inn in town, the Queen's Crown. They perform that night at the inn, with Arin singing, Alos keeping time on a tambour, Samurai Chick dancing with her swords, and Egil . . . existing, I guess. There are three more references to Samurai Chick's skin color \~/\~/\~/ and a reminder that elf singers are far, *far* better than any human could ever hope to be. \~/ This goes on for an indefinite number of nights, with all the locals positively enthralled by the spectacle of a short woman singing and another, less-short woman waving swords around, and Our Heroes acquire quite a bit of coin. It's specifically noted that everyone can buy whatever they want except for Alos, as Samurai Chick still keeps him from getting any booze.

Eventually, an important, richly-dressed man comes to see the performance and gives Egil a business card - yes, really. It turns out they have been summoned to perform for Queen Gudrun.

Drinks: 12

<Previous Chapter - Next Chapter>
Temple of the Winds

Onwards, fearless readers, to Book 4 of the Sociopath Chronicles: Temple of the Winds, The One Without A Big, Distinctive Stupid Feature. Not that there's a lack of stupidity; oh my no. But this book doesn't have a single defining stupid moment they way many of the others do.

It does, however, feature such glories as loving descriptions of dying plague victims, Goodkind continuing to not understand those strange wo-man creatures and their alien ways, and some of the worst, most arbitrary magic rules it has been my displeasure to read in over thirty years of fantasy literature.

Gird your loins; we're going in.

* Chapter 1
* Chapter 2
* Chapter 3
* Chapter 4
* Chapter 5
* Chapter 6
* Chapter 7
* Chapter 8
* Chapter 9
* Chapter 10
* Chapter 11
* Chapter 12
* Chapter 13
* Chapter 14
* Chapter 15
* Chapter 16
* Chapter 17
* Chapter 18
* Chapter 19
* Chapter 20
* Chapter 21
* Chapter 22
* Chapter 23
* Chapter 24
* Chapter 25
* Chapter 26
* Chapter 27
* Chapter 28
* Chapter 29
* Chapter 30
* Chapter 31
* Chapter 32
* Chapter 33
* Chapter 34
* Chapter 35
* Chapter 36
* Chapter 37
* Chapter 38
* Chapter 39
* Chapter 40
* Chapter 41
* Chapter 42
* Chapter 43
* Chapter 44
* Chapter 45
* Chapter 46
* Chapter 47
* Chapter 48
* Chapter 49
* Chapter 50
* Chapter 51
* Chapter 52
* Chapter 53
* Chapter 54
* Chapter 55
* Chapter 56
* Chapter 57
* Chapter 58
* Chapter 59
* Chapter 60
* Chapter 61
* Chapter 62
* Chapter 63
* Chapter 64
* Chapter 65
* Chapter 66
* Chapter 67
* Chapter 68
* Chapter 69
* Chapter 70
Talisman's Tower Wikia

*A place to dissect bad books like a bored adolescent with a stick of string cheese.*

## ***Welcome to Talisman's Tower***

A place where I dissect bad books like a bored adolescent with a stick of string cheese. Come for the worst of the fantasy genre, featuring sociopathic "heroes," villains so cartoonish they make Captain Planet look subtle, shoddy worldbuilding, and characterization as flat as a paper doll.

Credit to Kippurbird for getting me into the sporking hobby. Go check out her sporks. They're awesome.

## **Big List of Sporks**

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Miscellaneous Sporks

## **Links to Other Sporks**

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Dragonstone 60

**Chapter 60**

Arin decides they have to sneak into the cove at night. Alos is horrified at the idea, pointing out that he can't see in the dark, but Arin says she can. Samurai Chick, as per usual, is unnecessarily aggressive toward him. Arin eventually badgers him into it, and McKiernan makes a joke-shaped sentence.

Cut to Our Heroes sailing on by night, with Egil consulting their charts and conferring with Arin before deciding they're slightly north of their goal. Shouldn't Arin's Sparkly Perfect Elf Astronomy Sense allow her to determine precisely where on the globe they are? Wasn't this established earlier? What's the point of giving your elves such a precise and specific power, useful for exactly this sort of situation, if you're not going to use it in exactly this situation? \~/

Anyway, we reach the cove after much description of exactly which sails are still up and who's doing what. Having found the place they sail on past, and Egil says they'll come back the next night and sail in. Alos freaks out about this, as the surf is high and he's afraid they'll be battered to pieces on the rocks. Egil, using the flowery style of language common to Vikings, tells him tough shit.

Egil takes a moment to tell Arin how awesome she is for being able to see at night. Alos wants a drink \~/

to settle his nerves, and Samurai Chick threatens to castrate him, which is played for laughs. \~/ Arin decides to be incredibly rude and patronizing, putting her arm around Alos's shoulders and singing him *"a crib song she'd heard a human mother sing long past."* This causes Alos to look *"doleful."* So her singing is making him sad, and she knows this, and she continues to sing him a song for babies.

Why, again, am I supposed to like her?

Next, we get two pages of Our Heroes navigating Serpent Cove by night, with plenty of nautical talk. Alos is utterly terrified of everything, which seems to be his thing now that he's being denied booze, and Arin, as the only one who can see clearly, yells directions. We also get numerous sound effects, such as the sound of a wave crashing into stone (*"Whoom!"*), the sound of ropes *"buzzing against cleats"* (*"Zzzzzz . . ."*), and the noise a ship's hull makes when it grinds against stone (*"gwrrrwwwkkk . . "*).

Eventually, Our Heroes make it to clear water and Alos, *"pressed beyond his meager limits,"* faints.

Alos, the veteran helmsman. Not Delon, the gigalo. Not Ferai, the landlubber thief. Not Burel, who has lived his entire life in a tiny religious community in the middle of a canyon. I realize he's old and suffers from PTSD, but Alos is also a veteran Viking sailor; these other people are not. Why does the narrative insist on focusing on his cowardice and weakness? What purpose does it serve? If we're meant to dislike him, it fails because we have far more reprehensible characters around, like the philanderer and, oh yeah, *the rapist.* If this is meant to engender sympathy, it's a bizarre way to go about it, given that the other characters vaccillate between disgust and contempt. \~/

Drinks: 4

<Previous Chapter - Next Chapter>
Temple 11

**Chapter 11**

Nadine smacks Jacgcard in the face with her torch, which causes him to release her, and then he gets swept away by the current. Kahlan and Nadine share a Moment, which ends when Kahlan *“remembered why Nadine was there, and who sent her.”*

She's there because you won't let her leave, you hypocrite, despite Cara, Richard, and Nadine herself all saying she should. \~/

They chase after Jagcard, who throws wizard's fire at them. They duck into the water and escape. Kahlan thinks about how if they surface, Jagcard will kill them, but if they stay underwater they'll drown. But! Kahlan has a Cunning Plan! Said cunning plan seems to consist entirely of swimming closer to Jagcard underwater and hoping he won't notice.

Jagcard started this chapter by *hiding under water* to ambush Nadine. \~/

I should also mention that Kahlan is dragging a struggling, panicked Nadine around underwater this whole time, because Nadine cannot swim. Through the deep, clean, spacious medieval sewers.

So Kahlan swims underwater dragging Nadine, or rather, *“The wet wrath of water swept them away in its frigid flux.”* There's a confusing couple of pages where the women sneak up on Jagcard, who is trying to break into the Wizards' Keep, Nadine clubs him like a freakin' badass, and Jagcard is about to fall out . . . somewhere or other.

Oh, and Jagcard mocks Kahlan's attempts to get him to talk: *“Darlin, you're deluding yourself if you think I would reveal anything I don't want you to know.”*

I kinda like Jagang. Or at least, I hate him less than I do the “heroes.”

Anyway, Kahlan ends up with her hand on Jagcard's throat. They then spend *an entire page* conversing on how super-awesome and unstoppable Kahlan's Mindrapist power is, nu-uh, dream walkers are *way* better than Mindrapists, nu-uh, uh-huh, like a pair of first graders. \~/ Kahlan *finally* mindrapes Jagcard, but it doesn't work. Picard dies, and Jagang escapes.

“*Nadine . . . cried out in the pain of being so close to a Confessor's power unleashed.”*

This has never happened before.

*[Nadine says] “I wasn't touching him, when you used your magic, but I thought every one of my joints had popped apart.”*

**This has never happened before.**

Kahlan has been in close proximity to several people whilst mindraping others. Richard in book 1, the Imperial Order soldiers in Book 2 when she mindraped Orsk, the inhabitants of the Rape Pit of Rapiness . . . and there has never been a hint of any sort of “splash effect.” There's always been the “thunder without sound,” but pain? Pain inflicted on anyone who happens to be nearby? I think that would have been noticed. \~/\~/

It's almost as if Goodkind is making this crap up as he goes along without making an effort to keep things consistent. But what do I know? I'm just a dumb, drooling fantasy fan.

Kahlan ends up leading the way back to safety, because Nadine is hopelessly lost while Kahlan took note of all the turns and the sound of the water and so on, just to remind you that Nadine sucks and you should hate her.

Drinks: 5

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Dragonstone 4

**Chapter 4**

Samurai Chick and Yngli return with flowers and snow after Arin has finished torture-healing Egil. Arin makes tea, and we learn again that Thar absolutely sucks as a healer.

A couple of pages wander by, and Arin asks Orri (the captain of the Dragonship Egil was on) whether Egil is married or betrothed. Orri laughs and say that *“He be free wi' th' women, and they be free wi' him.”*

So Egil is a man-whore. I guess this is supposed to make him seem carefree and friendly, but if the character was female -”She be free wi' th' men, and they be free wi' her” - it would be a clear sign of sluttishness and despicable, shame-worthy behavior. Sexual double standards!

Upon learning that Egil is sexually available, Arin decides to have him brought to her quarters at Blackstein Lodge. This prompts Yngli to make a joke about how he'd invite Samurai Chick to come to his place, *“but I think my wife w'd take an axe t' me.”*

Samurai Chick replies *“If I did not take my sword to you first.”* Yngli laughs, then realizes that she's dead serious. She would straight-up murder him for daring to express interest in her.

Again, this does not say “badass and awesome;” this says “unstable and bloodthirsty.”

We finally get our first hint of the Plot as Samurai Chick asks Arin if Egil is *“the man of your Seeing?”* Arin says maybe, but it could also be Alos, so they have to take him along as well. And where is Alos? Where would you expect him to be? He's asleep under a table, surrounded by empty mugs *“and sleeping in his own vomit.”* \~/\~/

Samurai Chick objects on the grounds that Alos is disgusting and filthy, to which Arin essentially says, tough. Samurai Chick growls “Jikoku,” which Google Translate informs me means “Time of day.” \~/

So Samurai Chick drags Alos out and they depart, leaving *“a thin thread of vomit-tainted drool”* as one final fillip of disgustingness. \~/

Drinks: 4

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>