Jebidiah Thornton's Revenge

## Background

In June of 2021, former Thornton Stationery CEO, Jebidiah Thornton was overthrown and replaced by his son by his workers who he had been mistreating for the past 12 years. This revolution resulted in Jebidiah fleeing to a small Scottish Island called Rum with his loyal followers, after shooting Kingston Branch Manager, Lucius Fox in the stomach. Montgomery Thornton was declared CEO of Thornton Stationery and the Thornton Group, running the company for the next year until Hugo Higgins, former shareholder in Thornton approached him and convinced him to step down and let him become CEO of Thornton Stationery. Hugo Higgins ran the company similarly to Jebidiah in the 1990s, with much success. However, in August of 2022, the Denzel Pepper Detective Agency received news of Jebidiah's possible revenge...

## Beginning

The 7th of August, 2022. It was a hot morning in West London. The DPDA were meeting in their offices for their weekly meeting, when they got a sudden phone call. DPDA Secretary, Benjamin Sellars picked up the telephone. It was an anonymous source who said that Jebidiah Thornton was alive. Denzel, Cecil and Tim looked shocked. They could not believe what they heard. Denzel immediately phoned Hugo and informed him of the news. Hugo was very angry. He popped an Ecstasy pill to calm him down, and alerted his goons of the information.

The next day, Denzel went to his office at Thornton Corporate Branch, sweating, not only from the intense heat of our mighty sun, but also from his nerves from the possibility that Jebidiah is out there. When Denzel stepped foot in the main office, he immediately collapsed in a pool of his own sweat. Mark Wilkes ran over to him, cautiously jumping over the desks, without knocking down anything, like a cunning Chameleon, front flipping over to Denzel, gripping him in his big, strong arms. Mark carried Denzel to the physical health department, who healed him back to consciousness. Denzel told Mark about the news with Jebidiah. Mark declared that he knew that Jebidiah was alive. Denzel was impressed with his handsome friend's intelligence.

Hugo's phone received a call. He picked it up, only to hear Jebidiah. Chills went down Hugo's spine, for the first time since 1983, he was nervous. ''I've got your brother tied up in my yacht, if you don't give me ownership of the company, I will throw him overboard and feed him to my crocodiles.'' Hugo started laughing hysterically. Jebidiah was confused. Hugo demanded to hear Jacquees' voice for proof. Jebidiah complied. ''I'll smack yer' fucking specs of you dusty old fucker'' exclaimed Jacquees. Hugo knew that this was true. He slammed down the phone and demanded the help of the DPDA, before ringing Patrick Jones, General of the Thornton Cub Scouts, and asked him to mobilize the Scouts for battle.

## Preparations

Patrick Jones immediately mobilised the entire Thornton Army, consisting of nearly 200 people from the ages of 15 - 21, and began training them for possible battle. A special version of the Iron Ramrod encrusted with 24 karat gold was manufactured for Patrick by a former Thornton Weaponry employee. Patrick conducted ruthless training for three days and three nights.

In Jacquees' absence, Nigel Sinclair was appointed temporary Branch Manager of the Manchester Branch, as voted by his co-workers. Nigel took his job very seriously, and campaigned for Jacquees and Hugo's help. On the 12th of August, he printed thousands of posters, and plastered them around Manchester campaigning to help Hugo. Æðelstan Fairburne asked Nigel if he could fortify the Manchester Branch building, and Nigel gladly complied, claiming that he is a ''humble hard-working 22 year old lad from Wigan''. Stefan Beckett and Luke Haynes were promoted to Assistant Regional Managers to help with the effort in this crisis.

Meanwhile, in Soho, the Denzel Pepper Detective Agency began trying to track down Jacquees, with the help of Benjamin Sellars' and Bernard Smith's technological prowess. Tim Crescent began gathering and crafting weapons, including his classic 93' Crescent Machete, his Colt Gatling Gun, Colt Browning M1917, and his Holy Water Gas Operated Automatic Crossbow. Around noon, Cecil went to the local Tesco to stock up on cigarettes and alcohol for the operation to come, when he spotted some familiar men. Some tall bald men with rosy cheeks and no eyebrows. Cecil could have sworn that he recognised them, but he couldn't identify them. When he arrived back at the DPDA Headquarters, he remembered who they were. The Thorntoniers. Cecil panicked, he began smoking his bong to calm him down, and he informed the others about the Thorntoniers. Denzel panicked. He knew that Jebidiah was set to take out Thornton's most powerful employee, Vlad Petrov. He immediately rang Hugo and asked him to send backup to Vlad. Hugo sent Nigel Sinclair, Stefan Beckett, Luke Haynes and Æðelstan Fairburne down from Manchester to Soho. They were flown out in a private jet, which broke air speed limits.

## The Battle of The Petrov Household

Around 25 minutes later, Cecil received a call from Vlad. Vlad was swearing in Serbian, and speaking incoherent phrases. ''I here with my mother, god bless her, and ugly bastard is outside with guns. Grey bitches, for fuck sake.'' Cecil was confused. What Vlad was attempting to say was that Jebidiah's ungodly Thornton Assassin's had invaded his back yard, slowly moving towards his house, armed with guns. They arrived in two TAAV's (Thornton Armoured Attack Vehicles). Vlad was not happy whatsoever, he went outside and began smashing up the Vehicles, much to the Assassin's dismay. The assassins began ruthlessly firing shots, Vlad ran back inside. He was not scared, as he was in the hands of his mother, Sylvia Petrov. A fearless woman of amazing violence to those who endanger her family. Vlad and Petrov knew full well how to scare the assassins. They went into the bathroom, where Rafael began face-painting Vlad to look like the Joker. Vlad put on a dirty blazer, which had white trails of powder, from when Vlad had a mad coke party. He left the house, ran to his garden, and began screaming at the Assassins. The Assassins were confused, and petrified. All of a sudden, Vlad threw sleeping dust at them. Two of them were hit, and immediately passed out. A deadly scream. Moisture. Vlad's brother, Rafael, ran out, wielding an AK-47 and began shooting at the Assassins. The Assassins shot back, and Rafael took cover. One of the assassins broke into the house, about to shoot at Sylvia. Sylvia drew a taser and electrocuted the assassin. Rafael took down the rest of the assassins. The Petrov family had won the battle of Petrov house.

## Tracking Jebidiah

In the meantime, the DPDA found the possible location for Jacquees' hiding place. However, they had not considered the fact that Jebidiah might be tracking them. Suddenly, the doors of the DPDA Headquarters were broken down by the Thorntoniers. Tim shouted ''Stand down cunt, I have a legal license to kill.'' The Thorntoniers laughed at him, until Tim whipped out his sword and sliced the hat off the fat man. ''Fatty'' shouted Cecil. The largest Thorntonier took Tim's sword from him and pushed him to the ground. Bernard and Benjamin Sellars were in a state of shock. For years and years, the DPDA headquarters was hidden and protected, and they had been found out. Benjamin hurried to the DPDA files, dating back to 1988, attempting to protect them from the large maniacs. The Thorntoniers were cornering Cecil, Bernard and Tim. ''Where's Denzel?'' asked Tim. Suddenly. A banging could be heard from above the head of the Thorntoniers, almost like someone jumping up and down. Suddenly, Denzel fell from the ceiling, atop of a pile of wood and ceiling, which directly hit two of the Thorntoniers, leaving them stone cold on the floor. ''Fool!'' shouted Denzel, ''This building was built in 1933, the building standards are incredibly flimsy.'' He then threw an empty file cabinet at the other Thorntonier, giving him a concussion.

## Trouble in Italy

### Tensions with WIBC

One month prior to all of this, Jebidiah had visited the organisation known as WIBC (The West Indie Bacchus Company) and had asked them for assistance in stopping the possible involvement of Jasper Scunthorpe and his company Letak Lemons. Jasper was a known hater of Jebidiah and had in fact watched Jebidiah disappear at the end of the previous revolution. However, Domino Mercutio (CEO of WIBC) held a burning hatred against Jasper stronger than Jasper's hatred for Jebidiah.

After Jebidiah gave a call about Jacquees' capture, WIBC hired Raz The Fearful to beat up Jasper and one of his favoured employees, Gunther, at a disko to celebrate Letak Lemons' 150th Anniversary of existence. Raz invaded the disko and demanded to see both people. However, Jasper and Gunther had smoked so much that they had to go to the nearest hospital. Raz went on a rampage and tried to murder Jasper in the hospital but was stopped by DeSaad Pepper, Wilfred Pebble and Alfred Lennie, Jasper's oldest friends. Denzel Pepper had informed his cousin (DeSaad) about Jebidiah's kidnapping and had told him to get Jasper to assist Thornton Stationery in stopping Jebidiah. DeSaad and his gang beat up Raz and threatened to gouge out his eyes with a scalpel if he didn't tell them who had hired him. Raz spilt his guts so they let the pathetic partridge go.

Jasper woke up the next day and was surprised to find his three best friends standing next to his hospital bed but was more shocked at what they had to tell him. Jasper went to his office in the main Letak Lemons building with Gunther and the terrific trio to ponder on the situation. Jasper meditated for five hours until he came to a conclusion: peace must be made with WIBC. Jasper divided up the land equally so that both companies wouldn't have to fight over land and discussed for an entire day with Domino about their rivalry. After their talk, Domino and Jasper agreed to stop the rivalry and when questioned Jasper simply stated "They hate us cause they ain't us".

### Mr. Capulet's Return

However, after the gang left the company grounds they saw a horrifying, bone shattering sight. Mr. Capulet was alive. Gunther and Jasper jaws fell to the floor whilst the others looked on, confused. Jasper explained how Mr. Capulet had shot his parents and forced his brother to create the Lemon Brigade, a taskforce of the very best fighters of Letak Lemons, to destroy him and his gangsters. Gunther (Mr. Capulet's adopted son) and Jasper both had thought that he had been killed by Mr. Lazerooos. Mr. Capulet gave a long gloating laugh and stared right into the core of Gunther who began to squeal in fright. Mr. Capulet then challenged Jasper to a duel at "High Noon" in the plaza of the nearby town: Taormina. To make sure they kept their word Mr. Capulet stole Gunther and took him to his secret house. Jasper cried whilst his friends comforted him. After an hour of this Jasper did the only thing he could: Call The Black and Pink Legs Mafia.

The Mafia were old enemies of Mr. Capulet and they agreed (after Mr. Lazerooos explained that he had thought he killed Mr. Capulet originally but had actually just had a bad high) to join the boys with Mr. Capulet. At "High Noon" the Plaza was cleared and only Mr. Capulet, Jasper and rapper Craig David were there. Craig had been hired by Mr. Capulet as a DJ for ambience. Jasper and Mr. Capulet then partook in a duel that lasted for 4 hours with Jasper nearly beating Mr. Capulet but due to the fact that Mr. Capulet didn't like to lose he ordered his gangsters to fire on Jasper from secret towers. Jasper deflected some of the bullets with his sword but realised he was outnumbered so backed out. The Mafia then began shooting at the mafia and a shootout began. Craig David was allowed to walk out of the situation without being injured.

Mr. Capulet ran away but, as the boys gave chase, he ordered his son Thugmaster and his group of thugs to capture the boys. The famous four were heavily outnumbered and were forced onto Mr. Capulet's modernised pirate ship. The gang were tied to the mast along with Gunther and felt no hope left until...

### The Revival of the Lemon Brigade

At the discovery that Jasper had disappeared, Mr. Lazerooos contacted Squirrel who in turn contacted Leopold Calvert-Bellingham after they discovered that Jasper, Alfred, Wilfred, DeSaad and Gunther were trapped on a boat. Leopold was the best Maritime Pilot that Letak Lemons could think of to aid them and so The Lemon Brigade was reborn.

The famished five hadn't been fed or watered for five days and thought they were going to die until Wilfred noticed a sail on the horizon. He hoped against hope that it could be help but sadly it was a speedboat that cruised along past. Mr. Capulet ordered it to be blown out of the water due to him not liking how it disrupted the sea so the speedboat was instantaneously destroyed by the ship's canons. Mr. Capulet gave a glaring, scorching cackle and kept on steering his ship to unknown territory. Suddenly, he felt a jolt beneath him. Jasper's stealth boat appeared to starboard and opened up to reveal the new Lemon Brigade. A battle ensued and all life that wasn't in their eyes before came back when the fueled five were briefly fed and freed. They fought for about an hour until the Lemon Brigade had won. Mr. Capulet was presented before Jasper and revealed what happened that day in 2006:

After Gunther had left Mr. Capulet, he crawled out of a nearby window then proceeded to crawl for many moons across the Sicilian countryside and then discovered a town at the north coast. His sheer determination and hubris kept fueling him for this time and he snuck himself on a boat and licked his wounds like a doggy. Mr. Capulet then arrived in Italy where he travelled the continent of Europe on a journey of self discovery. He came to England still with his cold hearted ways and discovered that a man known as Jebidiah Thornton was being taken down by his own employees. Shocked by what he had heard he decided to visit Jebidiah and discovered that the two were in fact cousins. Jebidiah then formed a plan with him to rid themselves of any competition and sent Mr. Capulet with Thugmaster to kill Jasper.

Mr. Capulet revealed that WIBC had been but a pawn in their immense chess game and cackled with glee at the shock on Jasper's face. This brought Jasper back to reality and decided that he was done with Mr. Capulet so forced him to walk the plank. Mr. Capulet then jumped with his last words being "Veni Vidi Et Vixi". Jasper turned to his men and gave a speech about Mr. Capulet's final chance and that now they must go to war with their true foe: Jebidiah Thornton.

## The Legacy Life-Man's Lover

Life-Man opened his bakery on the morning of 10th August 2022 and was met by The Man in Maroon, The Person in Purple and a small group of Thorntoniers and one Thornton Assassin. Life-Man was familiar with the villains but when The Man in Maroon took of his glasses he fell to his knees and gave out a small cry. It was his former lover Christian ''The Magnificent'' Kurt. Christian went up to him and began to comfort him. Life-Man was so stunned that he couldn't speak yet he managed to say "Sorry". Christian gave Life-Man a choice: join Jebidiah and be with him for evermore or the Thortoniers will burn his bakery. Life-Man looked up at Christian with eyes burning with a fear as hot as the 1000 degree man himself and utter the words "GreaT righT hooK" very calmly and proceeded to hook The Man in Maroon. He barely had any time to register the blow as he got sent into a coma. "More of a Sufficient Right Hook due to my current mastery of the move but it will suffice." and with that Life-Man proceeded to batter the others who had (by this point) started to run away. None of them got far and were all registered unconscious by Life-Man who dragged the bodies to the local hospital. From there he began to march to London to meet with Hugo Higgins.

## Gallery

Julia Crosston and the Thornton AssassinsRafael hiding from the AssassinsThe Skint Thornton Assassins Marching to Vlad's homeVlad clubbing an assassins to the earthJimmy searching for the DPDA HQAsznee finds Vlad's phallic drawingsJimmy and Asznee sorting the suppliesDeSaad sniffing the dynamite whilst Asznee sortsDeSaad and Gunther carrying an injured JimmyDeSaad entertaining an injured JimmyBusy comforting an injured JimmyGunther brining Jasper to the DPDA HQ through the back entranceJasper, Gunther and Jimmy sharing a sandwichJasper and Gunther in the HQDeSaad falling of his chair in the meetingJasper and DeSaad discussing the planJasper laughing at a joke, whilst Gunther and DeSaad fix electrical issuesDeSaad blocking the door to Bernard's gymThe DPDA HQ has been breached