Darling-Jones family scraps

## Logan vs Tilda

Logan eases himself onto the couch, half expecting to explode with wedding food.

Tilda saunters over.

"What?"

Tilda looks pointedly at the couch.

"What--fuck, no. I was here first."

Tilda bristles, squawks.

Logan rolls his eyes, leans back, waves a dismissive hand. "Fuck off, bird--OW!" Recoils clutching his hand.

Tilda hops over the armrest, nests smugly in Logan's spot.

"Fucking featherball!" Logan lunges--

Tilda goes for his eyes.

--topples off the couch.

### Logan vs Gracie-May

"What happened to your hand?" asks Gracie-May (who we will know at this point in the tale is a grade-A brat).

"Fought a very small Kaiju."

Gracie-May grins. "No, you didn't."

"'course I did. What's it to you, anyway?"

"Tilda /bit you."

"Like hell she did."

Gracie-May scampers off. ""Tilda bi-it Lo-gan!""

## House Hunting

Logan wanders into the kitchen on the hunt for food.

The fridge sports a blueprint stuck at eye level, -what do you think?- in Charlie's handwriting printed near the top.

Charlie herself strolls in, grabs her kit.

"Thought your lease didn't expire for another six months," says Logan.

"It doesn't," Charlie replies, filling her water bottle, "but Jackson, Derek, and I can't afford a three-bedroom on our own."

Logan opens the fridge. "Couch and I'll get reacquainted."

"You sure you want to do that?"

Logan's blood chills.

## Operational

"Hey, Jones!" calls Charlie, leading herself and Hush into the house [1, 2]. "I got peppers!"

""Thank you!"" replies Jackson. ""Sorry I forgot them.""

"S'okay." Charlie wanders deeper into the house [2]. "So, you know how we're adults with a somewhat healthy savings account?"

""Yeaaaa?""

"Well, I kinda made an impulse buy."

Jackson springs from his chair [2, 3], eyes huge, kinda hops, flutters, and actually flails.

"Wanna build it after dinner?" Charlie plunks the box in his arms.

Jackson hugs it to his chest, nearly nodding his head off.

"Go put it in the family room and meet me in the kitchen?"

Jackson nods again, half skips, half dances down the stairs [2] singing, "We have a Lego Death Star / We have a Lego Death Star!"

Charlie squees in an [inconspicuos] manner, skips to their room to change.

1: if this terraced house doesn't have a garage

2: I expect parts of this tale will change as we find a floorplan for the house (where people are, where they walk, kinda thing).

3: I'm not sure what Jackson's doing or where he is; he's not working at home yet. Perhaps he likes to get home before Charlie to get dinner ready for her to cook? (Or he left early to get groceries, got home, realized he forgot something, texted, and she was later coming home as she stopped by a shopping place with an Indigo/toy store.);

3a: I kinda wonder if they don't work different hours, like, Jackson (in a great cosmic injustice) has to start at 8, while Charlie's place doesn't unlock the doors until 9 or 10, or if he has a shorter commute to and from work. Whyever he's home first, he would definitely do whatever he's allowed to in order to help Charlie with dinner, as well as general housekeeping, sweetheart that he is.

4: I can't remember what the actual word is. Maybe it's just 'quiet'.

## Bedclothes

(Same day as "Sunset over the Homestead"; Jackson /was opening this box but he only saw the card)
"Charlie?" calls Jackson, hanging up a jumper. "You coming to bed?"

""Coming!""

Jackson yawns, changes into his PJ pants.

""The not-art box Auntie sent?"" Charlie bounds into their room with a giant [colour/pattern] bundle, sets it on the bed. "Housewarming gift." Grins. "Literally."

Jackson shakes out an edge, looks at Charlie in awe. "Is this a down comforter?"

"Yup."

Jackson's a burrito. ""I am never leaving this room again.""

(The Darling family sends Charlie and Jackson a full homemade bedset as a housewarming gift, along with art. What parts can be stuffed are stuffed with emu down. The included card is basically a picture of an ornerier-than-usual Tilda.)

Later

"Firefly?"

"Mmhmm?"

"Was your mom /really pregnant and riding a horse?"

"Yea?"

"Christ."

Charlie queries.

"First, ow, second, the lot of you are Dothraki."

Gets a pillow in the face for that.

## My Favour

(Before they're married, Charlie's first day of the new term.)

Charlie gets to work on her shoes.

"Oh! I have something for you! Gimme a second!" Jackson shoots off.

Charlie keeps working on her shoes.

Jackson skids into the hall, arms behind his back. "Mi'lady, would you so do me the honour of accepting a token of my affection?"

Charlie stands.

Jackson presents a pair of notebooks with a flourish.

Charlie sighs heavily, mutters, "I'm gonna be so late."

"Wha--"

Charlie pulls him close, kisses him deeply, and--

Oh that's what she means--she's got a point there.

--breaks off, says breathlessly, "You are such a nerd."

Jackson grins. "I know." Nudges her away with the notebooks. "Be swift, my fair Darling!"

Charlie rolls her eyes, smiling, shoves the books in her bag, and heads off on Hush.

.

CptnJEJones: ABORT ABORT

CptnJEJones: DONT USE THE NOTEBOOKS

CptnJEJones: I FORGOT ABOUT FAKE GEEK GUYS

CptnJEJones: unless youre already using them, in which case they say 'Notebook' in Vulcan.

CptnJEJones: and if you want to tell any fake geek guys to fuck off, here's how to say it in Klingon:

CptnJEJones: Qu'vatlh

CptnJEJones: I love you

CptnJEJones: I hope your day is great and my nerdery is of no great detriment to you.

## If Not For You

Jackson grovels beside Charlie where she sits on the couch. "What would I ever do without you?"

She looks up from the seam she's mending in his favourite pants, replies, "You'd be dead."

Jackson sighs, returns to bandaging his hand.

## Wake Up

Charlie creeps back to bed, leans in close, whispers, "Jones, wake up."

Jackson whines, hides under his pillow.

Charlie breaks into a wide, beaming smile, keeps her voice as soft as she can: "We have a baby!"

Jackson feels around--

Charlie nestles Book beside him.

--pulls Book close, tucks the tiny body under his arm.

Charlie grins, lies down.

Jackson peeks out. Eyes go huge and shiny, mouth wibbling between beaming and trying not to cry.

Charlie blinks rapidly.

Jackson, voice cracking, whispers, "We have a baby!"

## Oblate Spheroid

### The Jupiter onesie

Nanny bestows upon Jupiter the Jupiter onesie.

Charlie raises an eyebrow when she comes home. "Are you trying to tell me our baby's fat?"

Nanny continues gently bouncing Jupiter. "Her fat rolls have fat rolls, dear."

Charlie sighs, kisses Nanny's cheek, kisses Jupiter's crown.

### To Pudge

Nanny points out that Jupiter is not only the largest planet in our solar system, but also the fastest, when rotational energy is taken into account. It spins its rotund self at ludicrous speed, what with its 10-hour days. Also, it's the pudgiest around the middle, because of the speed. "She'll be a little speed demon when she gets moving," Nanny promises, rolling Jupiter over onto her tummy.

"I'll take your word for it," replies Charlie.

Jupiter wiggles gleefully, having absolutely no interest in rolling over.

### The Jupiter Jumper

Holly settles herself into her chair at the Darling-Jones residence.

"Here you are," says Jackson, easing Jupiter into her arms. "And I will go grab your tea~" Hops off.

Jupiter coos, grabs for Holly's necklace.

"Oh, no you don't." Holly offers her finger instead.

Jupiter gums it happily.

"This jumper's looking a touch shaby," Holly calls.

""Mmrrrmm?""

"Come here and I'll show you."

Jackson reappears.

Holly points out a non-existant spot of wear-and-tear. "But I have just the thing." She swaps Jupiter's current jumper for the Jupiter jumper.

Jackson squees, flails, hops about the room.

Jupiter giggles.

"It's a Jupiter jumper!" Jackson squeak-shrieks. Hugs Holly. "I love you."

She pats his arm. "I love you, too, Jack."