Student Body - Simmons, Kyle - Diary

**Friday, August 16**

My first day of freshman orientation at Wintervale. A real happening time. Lots of parties, lots of games. I told people that I'm going to major in Anthropology, but everyone is saying I should think about Archaeology. No need to make the big decision tonight. I've got a couple of years to figure it out. One thing's for sure. I learned a lot of great Clinton jokes when I told people I was from Arkansas.

The talent show last night was hilarious. The people here seem really great. Looks like I chose the right school. Time to crash. I'm wiped!

**Saturday, August 17**

Today our group leader Peter Nakamura joined up with another group led by Marissa Valero. One look at her and I was really ready to spend four years here, no problem. Beautiful eyes. A knock-out body. And her voice. . .

I can't think like that. I've been hurt that way before. Besides, she was a junior. What chance would I have? There is just something about Marissa that makes me really like her.

She'd organized a trip for those of us who were interested in helping out in the community. We took a bus to a burned out section at the far end of Wintervale. Crews of college students like us were building homes, shelters, and clinics for the needy. I thought it was pretty impressive.

All of a sudden, this guy Zack comes up with this big cardboard box. He started doing this routine from In Living Color, pretending that he was a homeless guy and the box was his fixer-upper. It was funny--for about five seconds. Then we saw a couple of actual homeless people watching him. They had more dignity than this jerk ever would.

People were staring at Zack, and I figured he'd cut it out. But he just kept going on and on with it. He even asked one of the homeless people to join in. Peter finally had to go over and get him to stop. The rest of the day, he kept laughing like a hyena about it, cracking himself up.

Thank God he isn't my roommate.

**Sunday, August 18**

When I got back to my room tonight, I found that the roommate who'd been assigned to me on Friday had taken off. I had a new person to share this cramped little space with.

Zack.

**Tuesday, August 20**

People keep telling me that the great thing about college life is that even if you get a roommate from hell, it's no big deal. There's so much to do on campus, the only time you ever spend in your room anyway is to sleep and change clothes. So it's no big deal if you get stuck with a real nutcase.

Yeah, right.

There's plenty to do, all right. Lots of clubs. Places to hang out. *But...* Well, Zack has this thing about staying up half the night with his TV and radio on full blast. When I ask him to turn it down--or turn it off--he nods and says, "Yeah, you bet." Then he doesn't do anything.

At first I was like, it's no big deal, I can live with it. Yesterday, I got so fed up I bought Zack a pair of headphones that he could use for the radio or the TV. A hint.

He traded them in for a couple of new CDs he wanted.

**Sunday, August 25**

I came back to my room today and got hit with another Zack attack. He'd strung a clothesline across the room and hung his wet towels and smelly tee-shirts across them. I opened the window to try to air the place out a little. Zack came in and shut it.

I asked him, what was he trying to do, kill me with the stench? He said he couldn't smell anything, I was exaggerating.

Then, when I went into the refrigerator, I realized that all my food and sodas were gone. I asked Zack about it, and he just stood there, grinning.

That night, when I was trying to study, Zack started in with one of his new CDs. I'd had about as much as I could take. I went to the library and stayed there until it closed. On the way back to my room, I decided I'd had enough.

It was time to hit Zack with an eviction notice.

**Monday, August 26**

Student planning told me flat out that there were no openings in Crane Hall. No one would switch with me. I'm stuck with Zack until the end of the semester.

Four months of this? I asked what I'd done to deserve it. The guy at Student Planning showed me the form I'd filled out with my application to Wintervale--the one about preferences for a roommate. I'd checked all the right boxes. But at the bottom I'd written, "I get along with everyone."

The guy said he was sorry, and that was the end of it.

But it wasn't.

**Thursday, September 12**

Zack and I have to share my computer. I told him from the beginning, it's my computer, my rules. He said no problem. Only tonight, while I was working, he asked if he could check something really quick. I said, sure.

An hour later, he was still on the computer. I had work to do, and he was in one of the chat rooms, goofing around. I like the chat rooms, too, don't get me wrong, but we had an agreement about this sort of thing, and Zack was being--well, Zack.

So I pulled the plug on him. I figured that would get his attention.

It didn't.

Zack just kept typing away, as if he was still on-line. As if the machine was still plugged in.

"Do you mind?" I asked.

"No, no. I don't mind," he said. But he just sat there. I tried waiting him out. I even considered just ripping his former ROTC butt out of the chair and getting to work.

I went to the computer lab, instead.

**Wednesday, September 18**

Someone's been playing pranks on campus. It started out as no big thing. The usual. Furniture glued to ceilings. Fake student newspapers all over campus with silly rumors about students and teachers. A cow in the new Dean's office with the words, "Don't have a cow, man!" written on the wall.

Then the pranks started turning nasty. Someone set up all the work stations in one of the science labs to give students a shock when they touched their equipment. A scaffolding was rigged to fall and two painters almost got hurt. Bricks were thrown through the President's window in the middle of the night. His wife got hit by one of them on the back while protecting their little girl.

Mean stuff. Nasty stuff. Campus security can't keep up with it.

I figured that Zack would think it was hilarious, but he didn't. The whole thing's got him really ticked off. He wants to talk about it all the time, yelling and screaming, pacing back and forth like a lunatic.

I've given up on trying to understand my roommate. Instead, I hung a sign over my bed. "That which does not kill you makes you stronger."

Zack said he really liked it.

The sign disappeared the next day.

**Saturday, September 21**

I was supposed to have a date tonight, but when I got back to my room, there was a note waiting for me.

Kyle--

Something's come up. Gotta bag on you tonight. Sorry!

--Lisa

I sat down on my bed and just kept staring at the note. Something had come up? What was that all about?

Then I looked over and saw that Zack was wearing the jacket and shirt I'd left out for myself. For my date.

"Figured you wouldn't mind since you weren't doing anything tonight anyway," he said.

He was out the door before I put it all together. The handwriting on "Lisa's" note was Zack's. I called up Lisa and got her roommate, Janine. She filled in the blanks for me. Lisa had called to double check what time we were getting together. Zack moved right in, telling Lisa that I was out with someone named Courtney. Lisa got upset, Zack said he wasn't doing anything tonight...

"Thanks," I told her, and hung up. I caught up with them at Scribes and Jibes. They were on the dance floor. Before I could get anywhere near them, some big guy I'd never seen before slugged me.

"You keep your hands off my Courtney, you understand?" he yelled.

I told him I didn't even know who Courtney was, then just gave up on the whole thing and went back to my room.

It was almost worth all the grief just to have the place to myself for one night.

Almost.

**Tuesday, September 24**

I got in late and found Zack sprawled on my bed. I was gonna try and move him, but then I decided against it. I did some work and logged onto the campus net for awhile. I've made three tries at the Rat and haven't had any luck at all. But then I remembered this new room. You log on and you can get your fortune told. Casting the runes, tarot cards, or regular astrology.

I was surprised to get into the new room, so I pulled up the tarot and asked if there was any chance that Zack would be out of my life any time soon.

According to the cards, I'm doomed.

Later, I tried to get Zack off my bed so I could go to sleep. He wouldn't budge. I finally had to sleep in his bed. When I lay down I heard these scary crunching sounds underneath me and thought for a second that I was about to get attacked by a bunch of singing roaches like the ones in that MTV movie.

But it was just what was left of his dinner.

**Friday, September 27**

I was hanging out on the first floor landing of Crane Hall, not wanting to go upstairs to my room. Marissa's one of Crane Hall's R.A.s. She came up to me and asked what was wrong.

I really didn't want to get into it at first. Zack is my problem and I have to figure out how to deal with him. But Marissa has this way of getting you to talk about things. Pretty soon, I'd told her everything.

It turned out that she had a roommate who drove her crazy once, too.

"Have you tried drawing up a contract with him?" she asked. "Try and negotiate TV time, reading time, sleep time--all that?"

I told her I'd tried everything. Zack was totally oblivious.

"How about Nemesis?"

I hadn't heard anything about it. Marissa asked me if I remembered Peter Nakamura, from orientation. I told her I did. It turns out that because of all the pranks, a lot of students haven't been feeling safe. Peter set up Nemesis--a group of student volunteers who walk people across campus at night and keep an eye on things in general.

I'd been so caught up in my private war with the Zack-monster that I hadn't even heard anything about it.

"I know Peter pretty well," said Marissa. "I know he's desperate for people willing to do the graveyard shift."

I asked her if she meant staying up all night, like Zack.

"Well, if you're not going to be sleeping anyway..."

I told her I'd think about it. When I got to my room, Zack was on my bed--his bed now, it seemed--dancing to some really bad 70s disco music.

That did it. I went down the hall to Peter's room. He wasn't there, so I went back to my room, logged on, and sent Peter an e-mail.

**To:** Ronin

**From:** Raider

Marissa Valero told me about Nemesis. When can I start?

--Kyle

I needed something to get me out of my room.

Looks like I just found it.

**Read Kyle Simmons's story, NEMESIS, now!**