McPumpkin Family/Transcript

## Before the revolving line of credit

**Announcer: Tonight on Supernanny...**

[DJ kicks Charlotte]

Charlotte: OW!

**Announcer: Ellie meets a family with 3 uncontrollable brothers who were expelled from preschool.**

DJ: I WANT MY SIPPY CUP!

Diego: STUPID FUCKING BITCH!

[Kyle punches Gloria]

**Announcer: Making their parents having a hard time dealing with their actions.**

Gloria: Everyday this is a battle with them.

**Announcer: Can Ellie help the family become back to normal fore it's to late?**

## Submission Reel

[Ellie is seen riding inside her car with her laptop]

Ellie: So I’m in Kansas City ready to help yet another family. Let’s have a look

Gloria: Hi, we’re the McPumpkin family.

Gloria: I’m Gloria and I work as a , and this is my husband, Robert, who works as a . We have 8 children.

Robert: We have 10 year old twin girls, Charlotte

[Charlotte is seen on the monkey bars climbing]

Robert: And Lauren

[Lauren sits on the couch with a red lollypop in her mouth]

Gloria: We have another daughter, Skyla, who’s 9

[Skyla waves at the camera]

Robert: Julia, who’s 8.

[Julia is watching TV]

Robert: Marissa, who’s 7.

[Marissa looks at the camera]

Gloria: And triplet sons, DJ, Diego, and Kyle who are 4.

[DJ is tackling Kyle]

[Diego chuckles while flipping the bird]

Ellie:(Gasp) My word, what cheeky young men!

## Observation Begins

[Ellieknocks on the door]

[Gloria, Robert, and Charlotte answer it]

Ellie: Hi you must be Gloria and Robert.

Gloria: Yes we are.

Charlotte: Hi I'm Charlotte.

Ellie: Hi Charlotte, where's you siblings?

Charlotte: Lauren is on the couch.

Ellie: Hi Lauren, nice to meet you.

Lauren: Over here are Skyla, Marissa, and Julia

Ellie: Hi Skyla, Marissa, and Julia how are you?

Skyla: Good.

Marissa: Good.

Julia: Good.

DJ: Hi Ellie.

Ellie: Hi DJ how are you?

DJ: Good.

Diego and Kyle: Hi.

Ellie: Hi how are you two?

Diego: Good.

Kyle: Good.

**Ellie: And then, out of nowhere, the fireworks went off.**

DJ: GIVE ME THAT SHIT!

[DJ hits Charlotte]

Charlotte: OW!

Gloria: DJ you don't hit your sister.

DJ: I don't care you stupid stinky butt.

Gloria: RIGHT! Naughty Cage!

[Gloria sits DJ in the Naughty Cage and confiscates his Super Why doll by putting it in the toy time-out box]

Gloria: Sit here for 4 minutes and in addition your Super Why doll is in toy jail.

DJ: WELL FUCK YOU TOO, THEN!

4 minutes later...

Gloria: DJ I sat you in the Naughty Cage for hitting Charlotte can you apologize to her.

DJ: Sorry Charlotte.

Gloria: Thank you.

**Ellie: But even after DJ apologized, Diego broke all of his sisters Shoppie dolls.**

Marissa: No, please don't break my Jessicake doll.

[Diego pops the head off Marissa's Jessicake doll]

Marissa: [cries] Mom! Diego killed my Jessicake doll!

Gloria: Oh my goodness.

Diego: That's just what you get for being a crybaby.

Julia: He killed my Bubblelisha.

Charlotte: He killed my Popette.

Skyla: He killed my Peppa Mint.

Lauren: And he killed my Rainbow Kate.

Robert: I'll try to pop their heads back on.

[Robert fixes the girls' dolls while Gloria puts Diego in the Naughty Cage]

Robert: There you go girls your dolls are good as new.

Lauren, Julia, Charlotte, Skyla, and Marissa: Thank you!

[Gloria confiscates Diego's Alpha Pig doll]

Gloria: Sit in the Naughty Cage for 4 minutes and your Alpha Pig is in toy jail.

Diego: WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT, CUNT?!?! I WANT MY ALPHA PIG!

Gloria: NO! (To Ellie) Diego recently got expelled from preschool. DJ got kicked out of nursery school last month and Kyle got kicked out preschool 2 months ago. I am having trouble finding a new preschool for them to attend.

4 minutes later...

Gloria: Diego, you were placed in the Naughty Cage because you broke your sisters' dolls. Can me and your sisters have an apology?

[Diego flips the bird at Gloria, Lauren, Skyla, Julia, Charlotte, and Marissa]

Gloria: Diego, if you don't apologize, then I'm selling your Alpha Pig on eBay!

Diego: (sighs) Sorry Gloria, Lauren, Skyla, Julia, Charlotte, and Marissa.

Gloria: Thank you.

Robert: Lunch time. everyone.

DJ: What are we having for lunch?

Gloria: Meatloaf, peas, and mashed potatoes.

DJ: FUCK NO!!! I DON'T WANT MEATLOAF, PEAS, AND MASHED POTATOES I WANT MCDONALD'S!

Kyle: I AGREE!

Diego: ME TOO!

Gloria: We are not having McDonald's, we are having meatloaf, peas, and mashed potatoes. So eat it!

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: Really? Well then how about this: FUCK YOU!!!

[The boys throw their plates at Gloria]

Ellie: My word.

Gloria: RIGHT! Naughty Cage.

DJ, Kyle, and Diego: KILL YOURSELF, WHORE!!! [spit at Gloria]

Gloria: [slaps DJ, Diego, and Kyle in the face]

DJ, Kyle, and Diego: OUCH!!! HOW DARE YOU HIT US YOU CHILD ABUSER!!!

**Ellie: I can't believe I saw Gloria slap the boys in the face. I mean, what was she thinking?!**

Gloria: You boys sit in the Naughty Cage for 4 minutes and your toys will be in toy jail.

[Gloria confiscates DJ's Pooh plush, Diego's Geo plush, and Kyle's Frog plush]

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: You are a fucking cunt, you know that?! [gives Gloria the middle finger]

Gloria: Come on! This is getting ridiculous!

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: Well how about this: GO KILL YOURSELF, ASSHOLE!!!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle escape the Naughty Cage and unravel a roll of toilet paper]

Gloria: Put the toilet paper back and stay in the Naughty Cage until I tell you that you can get out.

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: NEVER!!!

**12 minutes later...**

Gloria: Boys, why I placed you in the Naughty Cage is you threw your plates at me, gave me the middle finger, and unravel a roll of toilet paper. That was not very nice and I don't want to to late this anymore. Can I have an apology?

Kyle: Sorry.

DJ: Sorry.

Diego: Sorry.

Gloria: Thank you. (Hugs her sons)

## The boys' new preschool

Gloria: DJ, Kyle and Diego, today is the day of your new preschool, so I want you on your best behavior, okay?

(Gloria gathers her sons into her Ford Taurus family station wagon and drives them off to a new preschool)

Gloria: Mommy will be at work and will be back to pick you up when preschool is over. Here are your lunches mommy made for you, your backpacks and everything you need. Okay, bye bye!

Teacher Miss Appletree: Everything will be fine, Mrs. McPumpkin. We have snack time, nap time, circle time, arts and craft time, play time, recess, and story time. I'll see you at 12:00pm!

[A few hours later, Gloria gets a call from the preschool]

Gloria: (on the phone) Hello?

Teacher Miss Appletree: Yes, this is Miss Appletree from the preschool. I'm calling because your triplets were awful, and you need to pick them up now.

Gloria: (on the phone; sighs) What did they do?

Teacher Miss Appletree: Well, they refused to share their toys with other kids, and they attacked a little girl who attempted to take their toy truck. She had to get a band-aid because Diego scratched her up so bad. They also had lack of manners during snack time and made inappropriate comments to other kids, as well as burp in their faces and steal their food and eat it. They also refused to listen during my lessons and tried to hide out in the closet. They even somehow got ahold of the CD player and began to blast Infant Annihilator's "The Elysian Grandeval Galèriarch" album. I was especially appalled by the lyrics in the handbook, and I'm so glad none of the other kids read them.

**Gloria: I swear, every single preschool I enroll the triplets in, they always have to start trouble.**

Gloria: (on the phone) I am so sorry about the triplet's behavior. I will pick them up as soon as possible.

## Mall Trip Turns into a Disaster

Robert: In the car everybody.

**Ellie: After picking the boys up from preschool, mom and dad decided to take a break at the mall. When we arrived at the mall the boys were going wild.**

Gloria: DJ, this way.

[Diego runs down the road but Gloria stops him]

Gloria: Diego, watch out! Did you see that car?

Diego: I don't give a shit!

**Ellie: When they went inside, it was madness!**

[DJ presses the entrance door button]

Gloria: DJ, leave the entrance button alone.

DJ: Fuck off!

[Diego and Kyle run all over the place]

Gloria: BOYS! Stop it!

[Kyle plays Metallica's "Whiskey in the Jar" on the intercom]

Gloria: Kyle, this is not the time to play Metallica.

Kyle: But I love Metallica!

[DJ, Kyle, and Diego run to a bakery and try to shoplift cupcakes]

Gloria: Boys! Seriously!

[The boys run off again]

Gloria: Boys come here!

Robert: Do not run! Do not run!

Ellie: There they go.

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle go in Hot Topic]

DJ: We should get this Linkin Park shirt.

Diego: Yeah! We will pay them with mommy's credit card!

[The three buy three Linkin Park shirt for themselves with Gloria's credit card. They then rip up the receipts so Gloria can't return them]

Gloria: Why would you use my credit card to pay for those shirts?

Kyle: Because Linkin Park is awesome! And good luck returning them because we ripped up the receipts!

Gloria: No. Give them to me.

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: NO!!!

[The three dash off]

**Ellie: They didn't want to stay, and with them running into all sorts of places, I had to take off my heels myself and run for them.**

Ellie: They might try to go in and go down in the elevator.

Gloria: Step back you have to let the other people get out first.

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle press the buttons on the elevator]

Gloria: No. no. no!

[Once out of the elevator...]

Gloria: You boys cannot run in the store without me and daddy. Do you understand?

DJ: Get the fuck off of me!

Diego: Yeah! We can do whatever the fuck we want!

Kyle: Don't make me beat you up!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle kick a gate to a store that is closed down]

Robert: BOYS!

DJ: What is it?

Diego: Anything I can help?

Kyle: Yes father of ours?

[The boys try to go down an escalator]

Gloria: Step away! Do [grabs boys] not!

[DJ bites Robert's hand, causing him to let go. They then run down the escalator]

Robert: (chasing the three) Get back here!

DJ: FUCK OFF, SMELLY!!!

Diego: YEAH, WE WANT TO GO TO THE TOY STORE!!!

Kyle: FUCK OFF OR WE WILL KILL YOU!!!

**Ellie: The boys went from refusing to stay still to refusing to move.**

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle are laying on the floor while Gloria, Robert, Jo, Charlotte, Lauren, Skyla, Julia, and Marissa are standing there looking at the boys]

Gloria: (tired) Get up. Please, get up.

[Gloria and Robert try, but fail to get the boys off the ground]

Gloria: (tired) Come on! Let's go!

DJ: How about fuck no?

Diego: Yeah! We're tired as shit!

Kyle: Leave us the hell alone!

**Ellie: Then, Gloria had to leave the girls to get the boys out of toy shop.**

Gloria: Stay here girls.

[Diego, Kyle, and DJ are taken out of the toy shop]

Diego: FUCK OFF!!! WE WANT TO GO IN THE TOY STORE!!!

[Diego kicks Gloria in the privates, then runs back into the store]

Gloria: Where are they?

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle buy a ton of toys with Robert's credit card, then tears apart the receipts so she can't return them]

Gloria: Naughty boys! I'm selling every single toy you bought on eBay!

[Gloria takes the three back to the girls]

Gloria: Look what just happened! I had to leave the girls.

**When they got home...**

Gloria: You are going to the Naughty Cage for 4 minutes.

DJ: NO!

Diego: LEAVE ME ALONE!

Kyle: I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE YOU FUCKING STEREOTYPE!!! GET OUT...

Diego: OF OUR...

DJ: LIVES!!!

[Gloria confiscates DJ's Caillou plush, Diego's Pablo plush, and Kyle's Justin Bieber doll by putting them in the toy time-out box.]

Gloria: Stay in here for 4 minutes and your Caillou, Pablo, and Justin Bieber are all in toy jail.

[DJ escapes and fishes out his Caillou plush]

Skyla: Mom! DJ's taking his Caillou plush out of the toy time-out box.

DJ: SHUT YOUR BITCH ASS UP BEFORE I FEED YOU TO BON, SHA, BANNY, BOOZOO, AND BILLY FROM THE WALTEN FILES!!!

Gloria: DJ, put Caillou back in the toy time-out box.

[Gloria puts DJ back in the Naughty Cage and deposits the Caillou plush back in the toy time-out box]

[4 minutes later...]

Gloria: Boys, I'm ashamed and embarrassed of your behavior at the mall. You were put in time out because you did not listen to mommy. May I have an apology?

All boys: NOT FUCKING SORRY, WHORE!!!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle throw water balloons at Gloria]

Gloria: GO TO YOUR ROOMS RIGHT NOW!!!

## The Girls' Sleepover becomes a Nightmare

**Ellie: The girls decided to invite their friends over for a sleepover and Gloria said that they could.**

[The girls' friends Jenna, Lizzie, Wendy, Orla, and Rosie knock on the door]

[Marissa, Skyla, Julia, Charlotte, and Lauren answer the door]

The girls' friends: Hi!!

Marissa: Hi Jenna!

Skyla: Hi Lizzie!

Julia: Hi Wendy!

Charlotte: Hi Orla!

Lauren: Hi Rosie!

Ellie: As the sleepover begun the boys tried to ruin it.

(Diego pours a jar full of Bean-boozled Jelly Jelly jelly beans into the girls' candy dish)

Diego: Buttered popcorn or...rotten egg? Blended smoothie...or dead fish? Licorice...or skunk spray? Coconut...or spoiled milk? Blue raspberry...or toothpaste?

Kyle: Oh, this is so gonna be fun!

DJ: When we see the girls' reaction, we will record the whole thing and then post it on YouTube!!! Thanks to this hidden spy camera Diego got for his birthday last month.

Kyle: Will it be green apple or fresh cut grass?

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle pushes the girls and their friends]

Lauren: Rosie, are you okay?

Rosie: I'm fine!

Marissa: Are you okay, Jenna?

Julia: Wendy, are you okay?

Charlotte: Are you okay? Are you okay, Orla?

Skyla: How about you, Lizzie?

Gloria: Boys, leave the girls alone! This is your warning! I will put you in the Naughty Cage if you bother them again.

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle throw water balloons at the girls]

Gloria: That's it!

[Gloria drags the boys to the Naughty Cage and pushes them in]

DJ: Let me go, you fucking f\*\*\*\*t!

[DJ bites Gloria]

Gloria: OW!!!

[The three run outside]

Gloria: GET BACK HERE, YOU STUPID GROSS MONSTERS!!!

[Gloria snatches the three and drag them back into the Naughty Cage]

Gloria: Stay in here for 4 minutes, and in addition your Tigger, Cookie Monster, and Po are all in toy jail.

[Gloria confiscates DJ's Tigger plush, Diego's Cookie Monster plush, and Kyle's Po plush and deposits them in the toy time-out box]

In Marissa's Room...

Jenna: Your room is pretty big, Marissa

The other girls: Yes, it's pretty huge.

Marissa: Thank you girls. Anyway, what should we do first?

Skyla: Oh, I know we can play with our Monster High and Ever After High Dolls.

Julia: Great idea!

[All the girls play with their Ever After High and Monster High dolls]

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle run outside and invites their friends Alan, Paul, and Troy over to their house in the yard]

Alan: Wanna watch Unico in the Island of Magic?

DJ: Hell yeah! That movie is awesome

[The six then watch Unico in the Island of Magic with the outside projector. After the movie is over, DJ, Diego, Kyle, Alan, Paul, and Troy run back to the first three's house in the yard for a while]

Gloria: OMG! boys! You are supposed to be in time-out!

[The boys get bored and run to Marissa's room where the girls were]

Julia: What are you boys doing here?

DJ: We are going to crash your gay ass sleepover, bitch!!!

[Kyle takes out his water pistol and aims them at the girls, spraying water at them]

[DJ changes the music to Venom's "Black Metal"]

Marissa: Ugh! I hate heavy metal!

[Diego pushes Marissa's Draculaura doll to the garbage]

Diego: Leave her alone! She's garbage!

[Kyle pushes the other girls' Ever After High and Monster High dolls to the garbage]

Kyle: Leave them alone, you fucking smelly cunts! They're garbage!

[Gloria finds out that the girls' dolls in the trashcan]

Gloria: BOYS!

[Ellie discards the dolls out of the trashcan and brings them to the girls]

DJ: Yes?

Diego: What do you want?

Kyle: Leave us the fuck alone, asshole!

Gloria: Kyle, stop it! Why did you invite your friends over? Go back to the Naughty Cage for 4 minutes!

Robert: I also called your friends' parents to pick them up.

[Alan's parents, Paul's parents, and Troy's parents pickup the boys' friends]

Sandy (Alan's mom): You are not allowed to see DJ ever again!

George (Alan's dad): Your mother's right!

[Alan kicks Sandy's leg and George's stomach]

Alan: FUCK YOU!!! I WILL SEE DJ NO MATTER WHAT!!!

Sandy: No you're not!

George: And to top it off, you're not gonna watch Unico anymore!

[Wanda and Antonio come to pick up Paul]

Wanda (Paul's mom): You are not allowed to see Diego until he is behaved!

Antonio (Paul's dad): Your mother's right!

Paul: KILL YOURSELF, ASSWIPES!!!

[Paul gives his parents the middle finger]

**Ellie: I can't believe Paul cussed out his parents and gave them the middle finger. It's absolutely disgusting!**

[Anna and Don come to pick up Troy]

Anna (Troy's mom): You are not allowed to see Kyle until he is behaved!

Don (Troy's dad): I agree with your mother!

Troy: GO SHOVE 100 DILDOS UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!

[Troy slaps his parents in the face]

Gloria: As for you boys, you are going to bed at 7:00 which is one hour earlier than your normal bedtime.

Kyle: No were fucking not you bitch ass hoe!

Gloria: Yes you are.

Diego: You need to grow up!

Gloria: I'M THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO GROW UP?!?!

DJ: You need to stop back talking to me.

Gloria: Shut up, boys! Stop being ironic!

DJ: I DON'T GIVE A MOTHERFUCKING SHIT ANYMORE!!! I WANT MY BOTTLE!!!

Diego: ME TOO!!!

Kyle: ME THREE!!!

Gloria: UGH! Okay then.

DJ: Good come on!

[Gloria fixes the boys' bottles.]

Gloria: Here's your bottles.

All boys: Thank you!

**Ellie: I can't believe she gave the boys bottles, they're 4 years old. We need to get rid of them.**

Charlotte: [goes to the candy bowl and picks up a jelly bean] Eww this jelly bean tastes like rotten egg. Wait I got an idea let's play Bean-boozled.

Orla: Good idea Charlotte!

Lauren: [grabs the water cups in case they get a bad flavor]

[The girls play Bean-boozled in their candy bowl]

Gloria: Bedtime boys!

DJ: NO!

Diego: [blows raspberry]

Kyle: EAT MY ASS YOU FUCKING POO POO HEAD!

Gloria: Yes, you boys are going to bed!

[Gloria tucks the boys in their beds and gives them their pacifiers]

Gloria: Good night boys.

## Parent Meeting

Gloria: (crying) I feel like a failure... the triplets don't love me anymore...

Ellie: (comforting Gloria) There there. It's not your fault.

## Rules

Ellie: I am going to do the family rules. Number one, no hitting. Number two, no more bottles and pacifiers.

DJ: Oh hell no!

Ellie: Number two, no swearing.

Diego: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

Robert: Diego, don't start!

Ellie: Number three, listen to your parents. Number four, no more ruining your sister's sleepovers.

Kyle: (yawns) This shit is fucking boring...

Gloria: Kyle, pay attention.

Kyle: Why should I? This is the most boring shit I've ever had to do!

DJ: I agree with Kyle! Why do we have to do this?

Ellie: Because, you three have ran amok in this house, and it's about time we place some boundaries.

## Time-Out

**Ellie: The boys time-outs need to be taken seriously.**

Ellie: Okay so we are going to take the time-out seriously without dragging and pushing the boys in.

Gloria: Okay.

Robert: Okay.

[Cut to the boys watching Teletubbies on TV]

DJ: Tinky Winky's a gay asswipe!

Diego: Yeah! He has a purse and acts like Queer Duck!

Kyle: He doesn't need a purse because he's a boy, and he's also a stupid fucking retard!

Gloria: Boys, you do not disrespect Tinky Winky like that. And don't call him the r word either.

DJ: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Diego and Kyle: Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Gloria: BOYS! Did I just hear you swearing?

DJ: Nope!

Diego: Not even one swear word.

Kyle: Nope nope nope!

Gloria: I think you boys are lying to me.

DJ: THE FUCK WE AIN'T!

Diego: Yeah motherfucker! Better back the fuck off before we make your d\*\*e ass back off!

Kyle: YEAH!!! GO AWAY POO POO FUCK!!!

[Gloria takes the boys to the Naughty Cage]

Gloria: You're on the Naughty Cage because you disrespected Tinky Winky and cussed me out.

DJ: Okay, libtard!

Diego: It's just words!

Kyle: And if you got a problem with it, then you can KISS MY ASS!!

## Onward

DJ: (sing song) Elmo eats Cookie Monster, then he kills Barney, he takes a shit on Big Bird and Grover ran away HEY!

Diego: HAHAHAHAHA!

Kyle: Best song ever!

DJ: Thank you let's sing it to mommy, daddy and our sisters.

Diego: Okay.

Kyle: Good idea.

DJ: Mommy, daddy we got a song for you.

Gloria: Okay what is it?

Robert: Sing for us.

Charlotte: I wonder what song they'll sing.

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: (sing song) Elmo eats Cookie Monster, then he kills Barney, he takes a shit on Big Bird and Grover ran away HEY!

Skyla: That song is way inappropriate.

Julia: I agree with you, Skyla.

Lauren: Same here.

Charlotte: I also agree with Skyla.

Marissa: Me too!

Gloria: WHAT THE HECK?!?! BOYS, THAT SONG WAS INAPPROPRIATE AND DISGUSTING! TAKE YOUR BUTTS TO THE NAUGHTY CAGE NOW!

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: MAKE US!!!

Robert: Girls, you might want to go somewhere else because things are gonna get haywire.

Charlotte, Lauren, Skyla, Julia and Marissa: Sure!

[Charlotte, Lauren, Skyla, Julia and Marissa go to their rooms]

[Gloria and Robert drag the boys to the Naughty Cage and shoves them in like they were handling a savage animal]

**Ellie: I can't believe I saw Gloria and Robert shove their sons into the the Naughty Cage, even though I just told them not to!**

Gloria: Stay here for 4 minutes and your Mario, Super Why, and Boots will be in toy jail.

[Gloria confiscates DJ's Mario plush, Diego's Super Why plush, and Kyle's Boots plush and deposits them in the toy time-out box]

DJ: FUCK THAT HOE!!! I WANT MY MARIO BACK RIGHT NOW!

Diego: YEAH!!! SHE CAN KISS MY ASS!!!

Kyle: LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle destroy the Naughty Cage and then they all climb a tree outside]

Gloria: No, you are not out there, no you are not up in the attic again, boys, boys, boys, boys. Get down from there, boys get down from there right now, boys, get down from there. Get down here, boys, you're gonna be grounded.

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: PISS OFF, ASSWHORE!!!

[The triplets throw water balloons at Gloria]

Gloria: STOP IT!!! YOU GOT ME WET NOW!!!

[Gloria and Jo eventually get the three back to the Naughty Cage]

Gloria: Stay in there!

DJ: NEVER!!!

Diego: WE WANNA DO WHATEVER THE FUCK WE WANT!!!

Kyle: AND YOU BETTER NOT STOP US!!!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle escape the Naughty Cage and beheads one of Julia's Lalaloopsy dolls]

Julia: (sobbing) Mom, they broke my Jewel Sparkles doll. [shows Gloria the beheaded Jewel Sparkles doll]

Gloria: Oh no, BOYS! Get right back in that Naughty Cage!

DJ: How about fuck my ass you perverted assfuck?

Diego: Yeah! We destroyed that shit, remember?

Kyle: SO FUCK YOU!!!

Ellie: That's why I got another one just in case.

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: FUCK THAT SHIT!!!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle beheads one of Marissa's My Little Pony brushables]

Marissa: (sobbing) Mom, they broke my Applejack. [shows Gloria the beheaded Applejack brushable]

Gloria: Oh no, BOYS! You need to go back to the cage and finish your 4 minutes!

DJ: No way sucker!

Diego: Yeah! Go shove 1,000 dildos up your d\*\*e pussy!

Kyle: AND HANG YOURSELF WITH A NOOSE WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!!!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle behead most of their sisters' toys]

All girls: MOM!

Gloria: BOYS! Your father will hear about this when he gets home!

DJ: Like he's gonna do jack shit!

Diego: Yeah! He can shove 1,000 dildos up his ass and kill himself as well!

Kyle: AND HE BETTER FUCK OFF!!!

[Robert sees the broken Lalaloopsy dolls, Hello Kitty, Ever After High dolls, My Little Ponies, Monster High dolls, and alot more]

Robert: Don't worry girls. I will buy you all new toys to replace the old ones the triplets smashed.

Gloria: Oh okay.

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle escape from the Naughty Cage and watch Hero Elementary on TV]

Gloria: No Hero Elementary, boys! Turn that off!

DJ: Fuck no! We're watching this!

Diego: Yeah! Go piss off, whore!

Kyle: I'M SO BORED WITH YOUR CUNT!!! YOU WON'T LIKE WHAT I'M ABOUT TO DO, SUGAR, BECAUSE I'M COMING UP YOUR ASS!!!

Gloria: No you're not! And did you just quote Whitehouse?

[The TV gets turned off. The boys scream bloody murder]

DJ: I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!!

Diego: GO SLIT YOUR WRISTS WITH A DILDO!!!

Kyle: YEAH!!! AND GO BURN YOUR ASS OFF WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!!!

[Gloria locks DJ, Diego, and Kyle in the Naughty Cage so they won't get out]

Gloria: Stay in there!

[Gloria the gets a trash bag and deposits the girls broken toys in it]

Gloria: Girls, I'm so sorry about what happened to your toys. Your father is going to get you the new toys that were broken.

All girls: Okay.

Gloria: Boys, you do not break your sisters' belongings and I had to throw them in the trash thanks to you and now all of your toys are in toy jail.

DJ: FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID ASS F\*\*\*\*T!!!

Diego: FUCK YEAH!!! GO EAT ASS FOR A LIVING!!!

Kyle: FUCK OFF YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT ASS WHORE!!!

Robert: I finished ordering all the girls' toys.

Gloria: Thank you so much.

Robert: Charlotte, Lauren, Julia, Skyla, and Marissa can you all come here please?

All girls: Okay.

Robert: I ordered you all new toys just like the ones that your brothers broke. But I chose one day shipping for them.

All girls: YAY!

4 minutes later...

Gloria: Boys, you were in the Naughty Cage for singing a nasty song, climbing a tree, breaking your sisters' stuff and watching Hero Elementary can me and your sisters have an apology?

All boys: NEVER!!! FUCK OFF YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS SHITTY CUM SUCKING WHORES!!!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle smash the Naughty Cage, damaging it]

Gloria: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!

DJ: BECAUSE WE FUCKING HATE TIMEOUT!!!

Diego: YEAH!!! JO-JO IS AN ANAL CUNT ASS BITCH FUCKING ASSWIPE WHO SHOULD KILL HERSELF IF SHE THINKS THIS WILL WORK!!!

Kyle: NOW FUCK OFF!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!

## Ebay Surprise

[We hear a door knocking]

Robert: It's here!

All girls: Hooray!

[Robert opens the door and sees 7 packages]

[Gloria brings the packages inside]

Gloria: Open up girls.

[Charlotte, Skyla, Lauren, Julia, and Marissa open up the packages and reveal Lalaloopsy dolls, Hello Kitty, Ever After High dolls, LEGO Friends sets, FurReal Friends toys, Lego Unikitty sets, Minnie Mouse toys, Lego Disney Princess sets, Frozen toys, Disney Princess dolls, LOL Surprise! toys, My Little Pony toys, Monster High dolls, Shopkins Shoppies dolls, Hatchimals toys, Barbie dolls, Strawberry Shortcake dolls, Num Noms toys, Cole's Little Shop collectibles and Bratz dolls.]

Robert: Do you like your new toys girls?

All girls: Yeah!

Skyla: We like all of the brands but it's hard to choose which toys we want to claim as our own.

Gloria: That is a tough one.

Robert: Since you all like all of the brands why don't you all take some of the toys you like.

Gloria: Good idea Robert, Okay girls pick 10 Lalaloopsy dolls Go!

Skyla: I'm going to choose Peanut Big Top, Frost I.C. Cone, Crumbs Sugar Cookie, Dot Starlight, Yuki Kimono, Winter Snowflake, Snowy Fairest, Ace Fender Bender, Mari Golden Petals, and Little Bah Peep.

Charlotte: I'm going to choose Mittens Fluff 'N' Stuff, Rosebud Longstem, Pepper Pots 'N' Pans, Harmony B. Sharp, Misty Mysterious, Tippy Tumblelina, Whistle Kick 'N' Score, Scoops Waffle Cone, Smile E. Wishes, and Dyna Might.

Julia: I'm going to choose Jewel Sparkles, Patch Treasurechest, Haley Galaxy, Berry Jars 'N' Jam, Sunny Side Up, Forest Evergreen, Rosy Bumps 'N' Bruises, Pickles B.L.T., Sweetie Candy Ribbon, and Goldie Luxe.

Marissa: I'm going to choose Toffee Cocoa Cuddles, Bea Spells-a-Lot, Marina Anchors, Suzette La Sweet, April Sunsplash, Lady Stillwaiting, Sir Battlescarred, Pillow Featherbed, Prairie Dusty Trails, and Cinder Slippers.

Lauren: And I'll choose Feather Tell-a-Tale, Ember Flicker Flame, Spot Splatter Splash, Mango Tiki Wiki, Peppy Pom Poms, Blossom Flowerpot, Alice in Lalaloopsyland, Swirly Figure Eight, Coral Seashells, and Sahara Mirage.

Robert: Okay Girls pick 5 My Little Pony Brushables Go!

Skyla: I'll choose Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Dewdrop Dazzle, Lily Blossom, and Flower Wishes.

Charlotte: I'll choose Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Honeybuzz, Flitterheart, and Cheerilee.

Marissa: I'll choose Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Lyra Heartstrings, Skywishes, and Holly Dash.

Lauren: I'll choose Lulu Luck, Cutie Mark Magic Rainbow Dash, Cutie Mark Magic Pinkie Pie, Plumsweet, and Daisy Dreams.

Julia: I'll choose Cutie Mark Magic Applejack, Cutie Mark Magic Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, DJ-Pon 3, and Sunset Shimmer.

20 minutes later...

All girls: We picked our toys.

Gloria: Great job.

Robert: I'll put them in your rooms.

All girls: Okay.

Gloria: And you boys stay out of their rooms.

DJ: YOU GOT NEW TOYS AND WE DIDN'T?!?! I FUCKING HATE YOU ANAL CUNTS!

Diego and Kyle: YEAH!!! WE WILL FUCKING HATE YOU ANAL FUCKHOLES FOR LIFE!!!

Gloria: How dare you cuss out your sisters! That's it! Naughty Cage NOW!

DJ: BACK THE FUCK OFF!!!

Diego: YEAH!!! BACK OFF OR ELSE WE WILL FUCK UP YOUR SHIT!!!

Kyle: YEAH!!! GET TOO CLOSE AND YOU WILL REGRET IT FOR LIFE!!!

[Gloria drags the boys to the Naughty Cage]

Gloria: Stay in there for 4 minutes.

[Gloria confiscates DJ's Caillou Sister Rosie plush, Diego's Daniel Tiger plush, and Kyle's Rubber Duckie by depositing them in the toy time out box]

Gloria: Your Caillou Sister Rosie, Daniel Tiger, and Rubber Duckie are all in toy jail.

DJ: YOU FUCKING WHORE!!! I WANT ROSIE!

Diego: I WANT DANIEL TIGER!

Kyle: I WANT RUBBER DUCKIE! YOU BETTER GIVE US BACK OUR SHIT OR ELSE WE WILL KILL YOU!!!

Gloria: No! And you're not gonna kill me!

4 minutes later...

Gloria: Boys you were sent to the Naughty Cage for saying that you hated me. Can I have an apology.

All boys: NEVER!!! FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU!!!

Gloria: (furious) GO TO YOUR ROOMS RIGHT NOW!!! YOU'VE BEEN SUCH A PAIN LATELY AND I'VE ABSOLUTELY HAD IT!!!

**Ellie: Twenty minutes after that madness, the boys were playing up.**

DJ: [throws a pillow at Skyla]

Diego: [throws a blanket at Lauren]

Kyle: [pulls Julia's hair]

Skyla, Lauren, and Julia: Mom! The boys are attacking us.

Gloria: Oh no not again... BOYS! You are going back to the Naughty Cage for 4 minutes.

DJ: NO!!! DON'T YOU FUCKING DO IT!!!

Diego: IF YOU DO THIS, THEN YOU'RE THE WORST MOTHER EVER!!!

Kyle: YEAH!!! AND WE'LL CALL YOU "ASSHOLE" FOR LIFE!!!

Gloria: I DON'T CARE!!! GET IN THERE!!!

[Gloria sends the three to the Naughty Cage, then confiscates DJ's Elmo plush, Diego's Nature Cat plush and Kyle's Ari from Elinor Wonders Why plush by depositing them in the toy time out box]

Gloria: Your Elmo, Nature Cat, and Ari from Elinor Wonders Why are all in toy jail.

DJ: YOU TOOK WHAT?!?! FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING ASS CUMHOLE!!!

Diego: YEAH!!! WE HATE YOU FOREVER!!!

Kyle: YOU NEVER GIVE US ANY JOY IN LIFE!!!

Gloria: Yes I do! You just need to behave!

[Cut to the girls playing with their new Lalaloopsy and Shopkins Shoppie dolls]

Robert: You girls enjoying your new toys?

All girls: Yes.

Charlotte: My favorite Shoppie doll is Popette.

Lauren: Mine's Rainbow Kate

Julia: Mine's Bubblelisha

Skyla: Mine's Peppa Mint

Marissa: And mine's Jessicake.

Robert: Awesome!

Charlotte: I remember when Diego broke them.

Robert: I do too, but that was in the past.

4 minutes later...

Gloria: Boys, you were sent to the Naughty Cage for attacking Skyla, Lauren, and Julia. Can I please have an apology?

All boys: NEVER!!! (spits at Gloria)

Gloria: I'm so done with these three... (runs to the room crying)

**Ellie: It was obvious that Gloria was gonna snap, so I had to get her together.**

Ellie: Gloria, you cannot quit now! They are only mad because they are losing control, and they are doing everything they can to get it back. Do not allow them to manipulate you like this.

Gloria: I guess you're right. I need to put my foot down sometimes.

[Gloria goes back to the three]

Gloria: (calmly and nicely) Boys, I put you in timeout because you attacked Skyla, Lauren, and Julia. Can you please apologize to me as well as Skyla, Lauren, and Julia?

DJ: Hmmm... let me think...

[Suddenly, the three flip the bird at Gloria, Skyla, Lauren, and Julia]

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: FUCK NO!!! YOU THREE DESERVED IT!!!

Gloria: (trying hard not to lose her cool) Well in that case, all of your toys are going in the toy jail!

DJ: HAVE YOU GONE FUCKING MENTAL?!?!

Diego: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TAKE ALL OF OUR SHIT!!!

Kyle: AND IF YOU DO, THEN WE'RE GONNA REIGN FUCKING HAVOC ON YOU ASSWIPES!!!

[Gloria ignores this, and takes the triplet's toys in the toy jail]

DJ: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!

Diego: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU TAKE OUR SHIT?!?!

Kyle: THAT IS MOTHERFUCKING IT!!!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle throw water balloons at Gloria, Skyla, Lauren, and Julia]

Lauren: "I'm all wet!"

Skyla: "Same here, I need change my clothes. You boys are so busted now by mom now."

Julia: "For sure, I need to change my clothes as well."

Gloria: (calm) "Um, Lauren, Skyla and Julia, you girls, look pretty wet, you might want to change clothes.

Lauren, Skyla and Julia: "Okay!" [the girls then go in the house, to their rooms and put on dry clothes]

Gloria: (furious) ***GET IN YOUR FUCKING ROOMS RIGHT NOW!!!***

**Ellie: This was just outrageous. Those boys showed no mercy.**

## White Sheets

**Ellie: Today I'm going to introduce the white sheets.**

Gloria: Okay, boys. We're are going to tie in white sheets on the rooms you are not allowed to go in.

DJ: Yeah right!

Diego: Like some sheets are gonna stop us!

Kyle: You have to try harder than that, you smelly cunt!

Robert: This is serious! If you see a white sheet it means you are not allowed to go in there.

[Gloria ties a while sheet on the master bedroom door nob]

[Robert ties a white sheet on Lauren and Charlotte's bedroom door nob]

[Gloria ties a white sheet on Julia's bedroom door nob]

[Robert ties a white sheet on Skyla's bedroom door nob]

[Gloria ties a white sheet on Marissa's bedroom door nob]

Ellie: Great job Gloria and Robert. All the rooms that the boys are not allowed to go into are complete.

**Ellie: Then the boys started to play up.**

[DJ. Diego, and Kyle hit Gloria and run away]

Gloria: [runs after them] COME BACK HERE!

DJ: NO WAY POO POO FUCK!

Diego: YEAH!!! GO AWAY POO POO FUCK!

Kyle: You can't catch my ass!

Gloria: Get your butts over here before you get spanked.

[The boys run away outside]

Gloria: Those boys are so going to be spanked!

**Ellie: Once Gloria got DJ, Diego, and Kyle she spanked them and I couldn't believe it.**

[Gloria spanks DJ, Diego, and Kyle and takes them to the Naughty Cage]

DJ: STOP IT!!!

Diego: STOP IT YOU FUCKING CHILD ABUSERS!!!

Kyle: I WILL REPORT YOU SHITTARDS TO THE FUCKING POLICE!!!

Ellie: Gloria, stop spanking them right now!

[Ellie takes the three to the Naughty Cage]

Ellie: Stay in the Naughty Cage for 4 minutes and your Curious George plush, Sonic Drive-in Tots plushies and PaRappa plush will all be in toy jail.

[Ellie confiscates DJ's Curious George plush, Diego's Sonic Drive-in Tots plushies and Kyle's PaRappa plush by depositing them in the toy time-out box]

DJ: YOU SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING FATASS WHORE CUM SUCKING BITCH!

Diego: GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY KNIFE!

Kyle: EAT MY SHORTS YOU STUPID COW WHORE!

[Ellie ignores the rude comments]

Gloria: Why would you stop me from spanking them? They deserved it!

Ellie: No, Gloria! Spanking your children is child abuse! You must use the Naughty Cage when they misbehave.

## Bye Bye Sippy Cups

[The girls are in Charlotte and Lauren's room playing with their Lalaloopsy and Shoppie dolls again]

**Ellie: While the girls are playing in Charlotte and Lauren's room I decided to do the bye bye sippy cups technique.**

Ellie: All right boys, we are going to get rid of the sippy cups.

All boys: OH FUCK OUR ASSES AND SLICE THEM OFF WITH A MACHETE!!! WE ARE NOT GONNA DO THAT!!!

Gloria: Boys, we are going to replace them with big boy cups.

[Jo gets a trashcan out]

Ellie: Put all the sippy cups in here and say bye sippy cups.

DJ: (reluctantly) Bye sippy cup...

Diego: (reluctantly) See you later sippy cups...

Kyle: (reluctantly) Bye bye...

## Big Boy Cups

[The girls are playing with their Arthur plush dolls]

Skyla: Who's your favorite Arthur character? Mine's Buster.

Julia: I like Muffy. Which i'm playing with her right now.

Charlotte: I like Arthur.

Marissa: I like Francine.

Lauren: I like D.W. because she's funny.

Gloria: I can tell you girls like Arthur.

All girls: Yup.

Lauren: We might put them in our rooms now.

Gloria: Okay. You girls can do whatever you want.

All girls: All right then.

Gloria: Man these girls are well-behaved.

Ellie: That's right.

Gloria: They never have attitude when I tell them to do something, they never hit, kick, bite, give me the middle finger, or anything unlike the boys.

Ellie: That's true.

**Ellie: It is time to give the boys their sippy cups.**

Ellie: Okay boys, we got you some new sippy cups.

All boys: Really?

Gloria: Yes.

Robert: [reveals the sippy cups]

Ellie: We got you some Elmo sippy cups.

Gloria: You boys love Elmo don't you?

All boys: Yeah.

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle throw their new sippy cups]

All boys: WE DON'T WANT THAT SHIT!!! EITHER GIVE US OUR OLD BOTTLES BACK OR GIVE US A SLAYER-THEMED CUP!!!

Gloria: No, you are not getting your bottles back nor a Slayer-themed cup.

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle kick their sippy cups and give Gloria the middle finger]

**Ellie: I can't believe the boys gave their mom the middle finger it's disgusting.**

Gloria: You keep this up and your going to the Naughty Cage.

DJ: I FUCKING DARE YOU ASSHOLE!!!

Diego: YEAH!!! WE FUCKING DARE YOU, YOU STINKY ASSWIPE!!!

Kyle: IF YOU TAKE US TO THE NAUGHTY CAGE, THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE FUCKING HELL TO PAY!!!

Gloria: RIGHT! In the Naughty Cage NOW!

DJ: PISS OFF, WHORE!!!

Diego: COME ON!!! CON ME!!! MAKE ME BELIEVE YOU!!!

Kyle: SHOW SOME DECORUM!!! BEND OVER!!!

Gloria: STOP QUOTING WHITEHOUSE AND GET YOUR BUTTS IN THE NAUGHTY CAGE NOW!!!

[Gloria and Robert then shoves the boys in the Naughty Cage]

Gloria: And I will confiscate one toy from each of you boys.

[Gloria confiscates DJ's Ennotek poop emoji pillow, Diego's Hide and Seek Jojo the Interactive Bunny, and Kyle's Kirby plush by depositing them in the toy time out box]

Gloria: Your Ennotek poop emoji pillow, Hide and Seek Jojo the Interactive Bunny, and Kirby are all in toy jail.

DJ: SUCK A POLAR BEAR'S FUNKY ASS!!! SUCK A RACEHORSE'S COCK WITH HEINZ TOMATO KETCHUP!!! SUCK A DONKEY'S SHITTY ASS!!! SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH HOISEN SAUCE!!!

Diego: TASTE A JAMAICAN MONKEY'S DICK!!! TASTE A BEARDED SAKI'S SMELLY ANUS!!! TASTE A CHACMA BABOON'S RAW DICK!!! TASTE A PYGMY CHIMPANZEE'S NASTY ANUS, JERK!!!

Kyle: ROUGH ME UP SO I CAN ACT CRAZY!!! MAKE ME YELL BUS DRIVERS AND PASSENGERS DOWN ON CITY BUS ROUTES!!! GET ME ARRESTED AND CARTED AWAY TO JAIL BY THE CHICAGO POLICE!!! MAKE ME BUST MY PORTABLE CD PLAYER AND DUMPSTER IT!!! KEEP ME OFF THE PACE JOYBUS BUS BY TORMENTING ME WITH PROFANITY!!!

[Gloria ignores this and walks away]

[4 minutes later...]

Gloria: Boys, you were sent to the Naughty Cage for not accepting you sippy cups. Can I have an apology?

All boys: NEVER IN OUR FUCKING LIFETIMES!!! (slaps Gloria in the face)

Gloria: YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! YOU BOYS CAN HAVE YOUR TOYS BACK, BECAUSE I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS BACK AND FORTH ARGUING!!! GET OUT OF MY LIVES!!! (runs off crying)

**Ellie: With mom snapping, I knew this was gonna get bad...**

Ellie: Gloria, you cannot give up this easily! Remember what I said: Do not allow them to manipulate you like this.

## The boys vs. the babysitter

Gloria: Okay boys, me, Jo, Robert, and the girls are going to the community pool I want you on your best behavior. Okay?

All boys: Okay we'll be on our best behavior.

Gloria: Okay, your babysitter is named Paula.

Paula: Hi, I'm Paula and I'll be your babysitter.

Gloria: Be good boys we have to leave now.

All boys: Yes, Gloria.

Paula: Lunchtime boys.

DJ: Can we have McDonald's?

Paula: Nope we are having Pizza Rolls. Your mom said not to order McDonalds.

All boys: We don't want pizza rolls we want McDonald's!

Paula: No! Oh the pizza rolls are done. Boys, eat up.

DJ: I DON'T WANT NO GODDAMN PIZZA ROLLS I WANT MCDONALD'S!!

Diego: ME TOO!

Kyle: ME THREE! THE PIZZA ROLLS CAN EAT MY STINKY ASS!!!

Paula: Boys, stop it or your going to the Naughty Cage.

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle give Paula the middle finger]

Paula: Okay, get in the Naughty Cage.

[Paula puts DJ, Diego, and Kyle in the Naughty Cage and confiscates DJ's Lightning McQueen diecast car, Diego's Max and Jojo's World toys and Kyle's It's a Big Big World DVDs by depositing them in the toy time out box]

Paula: Your Lightning McQueen, Max and Jojo's World toys, and It's a Big Big World DVDs are in toy jail.

DJ: FUCK YOU!!!

Diego: SUCK MY FUCKING DICK!!!

Kyle: GO KILL YOURSELF YOU FUCKING HIPPO CUNTHOLE!!!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle escape and climb a tree]

Paula: GET DOWN FROM THERE! That is dangerous! You can fall!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle get down from the tree and go in the bathroom to unravel a roll of toilet paper but Paula stops them]

Paula: Leave the toilet paper alone and go back to the time-out cage

DJ: SHUT UP!

Diego: YEAH!

Kyle: I AGREE WITH THEM!

Paula: Boys! Don't talk to me like that. Now sit in the Naughty Cage for 4 minutes!

[DJ throws his Candy Land game at Paula]

[Diego throws his Chutes 'N' Ladders game at Paula]

[Kyle throws his Sorry! game at Paula]

[Paula confiscates DJ's Candy Land game, Diego's Chutes 'N' Ladders game, and Kyle's Sorry! game by depositing them in the toy time out box]

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle breaks Gloria's vase]

Paula: That was your mom's vase!

DJ: FUCK IT!!!

Diego: IT WAS GAY!!!

Kyle: AND WE HATE QUEERS!!! ESPECIALLY QUEER DUCK!!!

**Paula: I was stunned by the language those boys had.**

[Paula confiscates DJ's Bot plush, Diego's Teddy Bear, and Kyle's Top Wing Brody plush by depositing them in the toy time out box]

Diego: HOW YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING MIND?!?! I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT MY TEDDY YOU SADISTIC CUNT!

DJ: YEAH!!! GIVEN HIM BACK HIS TEDDY OR WE WILL KILL YOU!!!

Kyle: AND WE WILL MAKE SURE YOU DIE A VERY SLOW AND EXCRUCIATING DEATH, YOU BITCH ASS CUNT FUCK DICK!!!

Paula: Too bad! You lost it and it's gone in the toy time out box.

DJ: WELL THEN FUCK YOU!!! [blows raspberry]

Kyle: Fuck yeah! You can't stop us!

Diego: Yeah! We can do whatever the fuck we want!

Paula: No you can't. I'm your babysitter. I will call your mother on the phone if you keep on acting like this!

DJ: WE FUCKING DARE YOU, CUNT!!!

[DJ releases a wild ferret in the house]

Paula: Who let a wild ferret in the house?

DJ: I did! And if you call our mother, then we will force you to listen to some death metal!

[Kyle releases a frog in the house]

Paula: Okay, who let a frog in the house?

Kyle: Me! And like DJ said, if you call our mother, then we will force you to listen to some death metal! We might even force you to listen to Dying Fetus if you really piss us off!

[Diego releases a cockroach in the house]

Paula: AUGH! A cockroach!! Who let it in?

Diego: I did! And don't you fucking dare tell mom about this you smelly ass cunt!

Paula: GET THEM OUT RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR I WILL CALL YOUR MOTHER!!!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle release them]

Paula: Wait till your parents here about this!

DJ: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, WHORE!!!

Diego: REMEMBER, YOU SNITCH, WE FORCE SOME DEATH METAL IN YOUR FUCKING BRAIN!!!

Kyle: AS A MATTER OF FACT, GIVE US YOUR FUCKING CREDIT CARD!!!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle snatch Paula's credit card, goes to Walmart.com, and orders Hostess cupcakes, Twinkies, Pop Tarts, Zingers, Chicken Nuggets, French Fries, Reese's Peanut Butter cups, Hershey's chocolate bars/kisses, Cookies, Twizzlers, Cupcakes, Nilla Wafers, Sprite, Orange Soda, Mountain Dew, Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Cake, Suzy-Q's, Honey Buns, Muffins, Powdered Donuts, Glazed Donuts, Chocolate Donuts, Crunch Donuts, and Graham Crackers]

[DJ puts the credit card back in Paula's purse]

Paula: I swear to God, if you boys bought all of that crap for real...

[A knock is heard on the door]

[Paula opens the door and no one was there but there was junk food the boys have ordered with her Walmart.com credit card]

Paula: BOYS!

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: What?

Paula: Did you seriously order all that junk food?

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: Yeah. Why else would we take your credit card?

Paula: I'm throwing them in the dumpster!

[Paula tries to throws the junk food in the dumpster, but the three stop her]

Diego: YOU'RE A STUPID FUCKING CUNT IF YOU THINK WE WERE GONNA LET YOU WIN THAT EASILY!!!

DJ and Kyle: FUCK YES!!!

Paula: That's enough boys! I'm throwing this junk food out whether you like it or not!

[Suddenly, Paula is knocked out]

Paula: HEY!!! LET ME GO!!!

DJ: FUCK NO!!!

Diego: YOU WANNA BE AN ASS?!?! WE'LL SHOW YOU AN ASS!!!

Kyle: GET READY FOR SOME DYING FETUSES!!!

[The three play Dying Fetus's "Permanently Disfigured" at full blast]

Paula: AH!!! TURN IT OFF!!! I HATE DYING FETUS!!!

DJ: TOO FUCKING BAD BITCH!!!

Diego: THIS IS FOR EVERYTHING!!!

Kyle: NOW GET FUCKED!!!

[Gloria, Robert, Jo, and the girls come home]

Robert: Turn that death metal off! (turns off speaker)

Gloria: Also, how were the boys?

Paula: (on the brink of crying) They were naughty... extremely naughty.

Robert: What?

Paula: (on the brink of crying) Yes... they were really naughty.

[Gloria notices the wasted pizza rolls, which were thrown in the trash]

Gloria: They didn't eat?

Paula: (on the brink of crying) Yes... they did not eat their lunch.

Gloria: I can see why.

Paula: (on the brink of crying) They wanted McDonald's instead but I told them no. They threw a tantrum over McDonald's, climbed a tree, tried to unravel a roll of toilet paper, broke your vase, released a ferret, a frog, and a cockroach in the house, and they also used my credit card to buy junk food. They even forced me to listen to Dying Fetus, as you just saw. And that's not to mention all the times they cussed me out and threatened me!

Gloria: Those naughty boys are so going to be punished.

Paula: (on the brink of crying) I'm never babysitting here again! Go get a different babysitter, because I'm unavailable!

[Paula leaves as she cries]

Gloria: YOU BOYS ARE SO DONE!!!

[Gloria and Robert swing the boys to the center and sits them on it]

Gloria: BOYS, YOUR BEHAVIOR TO THE BABYSITTER WAS DISGUSTING! AND YOU USED PAULA'S CREDIT CARD TO ORDER JUNK FOOD?!?

Diego: SHE DESERVED IT FOR ALL THE SHIT SHE DID TO US!!!

Robert: NO SHE DIDN'T!!! THAT IS IT!!! YOU LOST ALL OF YOUR TOYS AND DVDS AND YOU WON'T GET THEM BACK UNTIL TOMORROW!

[Robert then grabs some boxes in the garage]

DJ: Don't worry about the toys, guys. We'll get them back.

(A package then comes.)

DJ: Hey! A package!

(The boys open the package. Inside is an Elinor Wonders Why DVD.)

Diego: All right! Our Elinor Wonders Why DVD came.

(The boys run off with the DVD.)

[The boys run off into the house]

Robert: Where do you think you're going? I'm gonna stop 'em!

[The boys run into their room, and watch the Elinor Wonders Why DVD]

Robert: HECK NO! WHAT YOU ALL DID TO POOR PAULA WAS ATROCIOUS!!! TURN ELINOR WONDERS WHY OFF AND GET IN THE NAUGHTY CAGE!

DJ: HOW ABOUT YOU PISS OFF, N\*\*\*\*R?!?!

**Robert: I was absolutely stunned that DJ called me the N word.**

[Gloria turns off then TV, then puts the boys in the Naughty Cage]

Gloria: (trying her hardest to remain calm after DJ said the N word) Boys, sit in here for 4 minutes and all of your toys are gone until tomorrow.

[Robert comes in with cardboard boxes]

Robert: GLORIA, CHARLOTTE, LAUREN, JULIA AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FAMILY HELP DAD CONFISCATE ALL THE BOYS TOYS AND DVDS!

DJ: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE TAKE ALL OF OUR SHIT YOU FUCKING BITCH ASS HOES!!! I CALLED YOU THE N WORD FOR A GOOD ASS REASON!!!

Diego: THAT'S RIGHT!!! IF YOU TAKE AWAY OUR TOYS, THEN WE WILL REIGN HELL ON THIS FUCK SHIT OF A FAMILY!!!

Kyle: I AGREE WITH DJ AND DIEGO!!! DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS YOU PISS ASS CUNTS!!!

**Ellie: I can't believe the three are cussing out their family like they're the Tourette's Guy!**

[Robert hands each of the girls and Gloria a cardboard box]

[Charlotte deposits all of DJ's toys in the box]

[Lauren deposits all of Diego's toys in the box]

[Julia deposits all of Kyle's toys in the box]

[Skyla deposits all of DJ"s DVDs in the box]

[Marissa deposits all of Diego's DVDS in the box]

[Gloria deposits all of Kyle's DVDs in the box]

DJ: ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING SERIOUS?!?!

Diego: WHAT THE FUCKING CUM DROPPINGS DID WE JUST SAY?!?!

Kyle: NOW YOU BITCH ASS DICK BRAINS ARE GONNA PAY!!!

Robert: As for you boys you have to read for your entertainment instead.

All boys: FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING SHITTY ASS DICK BITCH CUNTHOLE PISS ASS BRAINS!!!

DJ: THAT'S RIGHT, DADDY!!! YOU AND MOMMY ARE ASSWIPES WHO NEED TO KILL THEMSELVES!!!

Gloria: THAT IS ENOUGH!!! WE ARE THIS CLOSE TO TAKING AWAY YOUR ROOMS!!!

DJ: YOU MIGHT AS WELL DO IT, BECAUSE WE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE!!!

Diego: THAT'S RIGHT!!! GIVE US BACK OUR SHIT OR WE'RE CALLING THE POLICE!!!

Kyle: YEAH!!! AND WE WILL CHARGE YOU WITH CHILD ABUSE FOR ALL THE TIMES YOU'VE SPANKED US AS WELL!!!

Gloria: (evilly) Call the cops, and you will regret it...

## The boys blame their sisters

Diego: Mom, can you tear my Bananas in Pajamas Lulu plush's head off?

[Diego holds his Lulu plush]

[Gloria rips Diego's Lulu plush's head off]

Gloria: Here you go!

Diego: Thank you!

DJ: Mom, can you tear my Bananas in Pajamas Amy plush's leg off?

[Gloria rips DJ's Amy plush's leg off]

Gloria: Here you go!

DJ: Thank you!

Kyle: Mom, can you tear my Bananas in Pajamas Morgan plush's arm off?

[Gloria tears Kyle's Morgan plush' arm off]

Gloria: Here you go!

Kyle: Thank you!

**Gloria: I didn't knew why the boys requested I do such strange things.**

DJ: Let's blame our sisters.

Diego and Kyle: Good idea!

DJ: Fuck those prostitutes! We will make them pay for everything!

Diego: Gloria, Charlotte cussed!

Charlotte: I did not!

Gloria: Oh dear!

Kyle: Charlotte in the Naughty Cage NOW!

Diego and DJ: Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Charlotte: I did not I swear.

Gloria: Charlotte, just go to your room for a little bit until I figure out who cussed.

Charlotte: Okay mom.

DJ: Hahahahahahaha that was so funny!

Diego: Let's blame Skyla next.

5 minutes later...

DJ: Yes we blamed all of our sisters!

Gloria: Boys did you know we had security cameras all over the house?

Diego: No.

Gloria: You boys were blaming your sisters which I made them go to their rooms.

DJ: They never get in trouble so we blamed them because they need to know what it's like to be punished!

Diego: Yeah! Those child strippers need to go kill themselves!

Kyle: Yeah! And they need their shit stolen from them from gay ass parents like you!

Gloria: That is completely unacceptable! Get in the Naughty Cage now! All three of you!

[Gloria shoves the boys in the Naughty Cage]

Gloria: Stay in here for 4 minutes! And your Tinky Winky, Dipsy, and Po are in toy jail.

DJ: HOW MANY MORE TIMES ARE YOU GONNA KEEP TAKING OUR SHIT?!?!

Diego: MOM, LISTEN TO US VERY CAREFULLY: STOP. TAKING. OUR. SHIT!!!

Kyle: WE SWEAR TO FUCK, IF YOU DO THIS...

[Gloria confiscates DJ's Tinky Winky plush, Diego's Dipsy plush, and Kyle's Po plush]

[Meanwhile Charlotte and Lauren are in their rooms out raged]

Lauren: [playing with her Loud House Super Lola Plush] I can't believe our three stupid brothers blamed all of us for saying swear words.

Charlotte: I know right? We never swear.

Lauren: Exactly, we are well behaved and the boys are not.

[Suddenly they hear Gloria calling them over]

Gloria: Charlotte, Lauren, Skyla, Julia, and Marissa can you come out of your rooms?

All girls: Okay.

Gloria: I'm sorry for falsely punishing you.

All girls: That's okay.

Gloria: It was your triplet brothers that blamed you and caused me to send you five to your rooms. You may run along and play. Oh one more thing, I'll take all of your Lalaloopsy dolls out of the toy-time out box.

[Gloria discards the girls' Lalaloopsy dolls out of the toy time-out box]

All girls: Thank you so much!

Gloria: You girls are welcome!

[The girls play with their Lalaloopsy dolls]

## Family Test Run

**Ellie: I decided to do a test run with Robert and Gloria to see how they deal with the boys on their own.**

Ellie: I'll be gone for a couple of days and I want t see how you guys deal with the boys behavior till I get back.

Gloria: Sounds good.

[Ellie leaves]

Ellie: Bye.

Gloria and Robert: See you in a couple days.

[Ellie drives away]

**Gloria: I don't know how we're gonna manage without Jo. We just hoped for the best.**

[At home Ellie watches a big screen of the family dealing with the boys on their own]

DJ: Mom is a stupid cunt.

Diego: Yeah! She keeps taking our shit!

Kyle: I don't like her either! She needs to piss off before we call CPS and have them take us to a much better home!

Gloria: Boys go to the Naughty Cage NOW BEFORE I SLAP YOUR FACES!

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: FUCK YOU!!!

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle run outside]

Ellie: [to the screen] Gloria, you threatened to slap them if they didn't go to the Naughty Cage and you didn't give them a warning. And now they're running away!

Gloria: (chasing the three) GET YOUR BUTTS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!

DJ: NEVER, WHORE!!!

Diego: GO KILL YOURSELF!!!

Kyle: AND PLEASE SHOVE 10,000 RUSTY KNIVES UP YOUR PUSSY!!!

[The boys run to a nearby fancy restaurant]

[DJ steals the food and eats it]

[Diego changes the music to Iron Maiden's "Aces High"]

[Kyle splashes drinks on the waiters]

Gloria: YOU THREE STOP RIGHT NOW!!!

DJ: NEVER!!!

Diego: WE LIKE TO CAUSE MAYHEM!!!

Kyle: AND YOU WILL FUCK OFF AND LEAVE US ALONE!!!

8 minutes later...

[DJ, Diego, and Kyle jumps on the couch]

Robert: Boys stop it now or you will go to the Naughty Cage.

Diego: No way bitch ass hoe!!

[The boys throw rocks at Charlotte, Skyla, Lauren, Marissa, and Julia who are playing with their L.O.L. Surprise dolls]

Charlotte: Dad, the boys are throwing rocks at us.

Robert: Boys, Naughty Cage now!

DJ: FUCK YOU HOE ASS N\*\*\*\*RS!!!

Diego: YEAH!!! YOU BITCHES CAN GO KILL YOURSELVES!!!

Kyle: FUCK OFF BEFORE WE KILL YOU ASSWIPES!!!

[A furious Gloria slaps the boys in the face and drags them to the Naughty Cage]

Gloria: (in a menacing voice) Get up again and you will deeply regret it...

[The girls laugh]

Marissa: That's what the boys deserve.

Gloria: Yes indeed Marissa. If they keep this up, then we will have to send them to prison.

Ellie: [to the screen] This absolutely ridiculous! I have to go back.

## Parent Evaluation/DVD meeting

**Ellie: I decided to go back and have a DVD meeting with Gloria and Robert.**

[Ellie knocks on the door]

[Gloria and Robert answer it]

Ellie: Hi!

Gloria and Robert: Hello!

Ellie: Ready for the meeting?

Gloria: Sure!

[Ellie, Gloria, and Robert are seated at the kitchen table]

Ellie: Let's see how you are handling the boys.

[Ellie plays the first clip]

DJ: Mom is stupid.

Diego: Yeah!

Kyle: I don't like her!

Gloria: Boys go to the Naughty Cage NOW BEFORE I SLAP YOUR FACES!

[Ellie pauses the clip]

Ellie: Slapping them in the face really?

Gloria: I was angry with them.

[Ellie plays the next clip]

DJ: [attacks Robert]

Robert: DJ GET YOU BUTT TO THAT NAUGHTY CAGE NOW!!!

DJ: No! ASSWIPES!

Diego and Kyle: YEAH ASSWIPES! WE HATE YOUR SLIMY GUTS!!!

[Ellie pauses the clip]

Ellie: Where did they learn those words anyways?

Gloria: We have no idea!

[Jo plays the next clip]

[The boys throw rocks at Charlotte, Skyla, Lauren, Marissa, and Julia]

Charlotte: Dad, the boys are throwing rocks at us.

Robert: Boys, Naughty Cage now!

DJ: FUCK YOU HOE ASS N\*\*\*\*RS!!!

Diego: YEAH!!! YOU BITCHES CAN GO KILL YOURSELVES!!!

Kyle: FUCK OFF BEFORE WE KILL YOU ASSWIPES!!!

[A furious Gloria slaps the boys in the face and drags them to the Naughty Cage]

Gloria: (in a menacing voice) Get up again and you will deeply regret it...

[The girls laugh]

Marissa: That's what the boys deserve.

Gloria: Yes indeed Marissa. If they keep this up, then we will have to send them to prison.

[Jo pauses the clip]

Gloria: Ha ha ha ha ha so funny that I slapped them!

Ellie: Gloria, slapping them is not funny!

Gloria: Yes it is!

Ellie: No it's not! And not only that, but you got your daughters to rally against them like they aren't part of the family! And that's not to mention threatening to send them to prison! That is absurd on so many levels!

Gloria: (pissed) WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO HAS TO DEAL WITH THEIR BULLSHIT ON A DAILY BASIS OVER THE COURSE OF YEARS!!! WHY DON'T YOU PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES FOR ONCE?!?!

Ellie: Gloria, I understand you're frustrated...

Gloria: NO YOU FUCKING DON'T YOU INHUMANE BITCH!!! (slaps Jo really hard)

**Ellie: I did not expect Gloria to slap me like that. I know she was gonna have to have a wakeup call.**

Ellie: (raising her voice) GLORIA, THAT IS ENOUGH!!! You do not call me an inhumane bitch and you especially don't assault me like that! You are starting to act like the triplets!

[Gloria is stunned, then breaks down crying]

Gloria: (crying) I can't keep on going like this... they're tearing my family apart... I swear, if I had to deal with another one of their tantrums, I swear to God...

Ellie: (comforting Gloria) It's okay, Gloria. I know you didn't mean it. You just have to control yourself sometimes.

## Reinforcements

**Ellie: We are going to have reinforcements in this house.**

Ellie: Okay today the boy's behavior is going to change.

DJ: [crosses his eyes] Oh hell no...

Ellie: Okay number one be nice.

Diego: [eats a hostess cupcake] This is fucking gay...

Gloria: Listen Diego! And stop eating!

Diego: [stops eating] Okay...

**Ellie: After I went through the reinforcements all the boys played up!**

DJ: YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! I FUCKING HATE YOU, MOM!!!

Diego: YEAH!!! SHE'S A STUPID BITCH ASS HOE!!!

Kyle: FUCK HER AND HER GAY ASS RULES!!!

Gloria: [slaps the boys in the face] YOU KNOW WHAT?!?! GET YOUR FUCKING BUTTS TO YOUR ROOMS!!! I HATE YOU!!!

DJ: GOOD!!! WE HATE YOUR D\*\*E ASS!

Diego and Kyle: YEAH!

Gloria: I WILL KILL YOU BOYS!

Ellie: Gloria, we do not say stuff like that to the boys, nor do you slap them in the face. You need to take a deep breath.

Gloria: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FATTY! NO ONE LIKES YOU!

Ellie: [raises her voice] GLORIA!!! WHAT DID I JUST SAY IN THE DVD MEETING?!?! YOU DO NOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!!! NOW CALM DOWN!!!

Gloria: SCREW OFF ELLIE!!! YOU DID THIS TO US!!! [runs to her room crying]

Ellie: Gloria, wait!

Gloria: (crying) NO!!! FUCK OFF!!!

**Gloria: I was this close to telling Jo to leave.**

Gloria: (crying) I'm done with them... plain and simple... I am literally one step away from putting them up for adoption...

Ellie: Gloria, I can change them! You just have to stop lashing out at them and you need to especially stop abusing me!

**Ellie: Eventually, Gloria calmed down and later apologized to the boys.**

Gloria: I'm sorry for being mean to you boys, and I'm sorry for raising my voice at you.

Ellie: That's okay. I forgive you.

DJ: Mom, we have something to say to you, Ellie, Robert, and the girls.

Gloria: Really?

Ellie: Let's hear it.

[Robert and the girls come in]

Diego: We are so sorry for our behavior.

DJ: Very very sorry.

Kyle: Yes, we are very sorry. After seeing you blow up like that, we realized that we are stressing you out and raging for no reason. We want to change and be well behaved.

DJ: That's true.

Gloria: (surprised) You actually mean it?!

DJ, Diego, and Kyle: Yes!

Gloria: Well then apology accepted! I know I love you boys, and I didn't mean to say that I hated you guys or say I'm going to kill you boys earlier. You know you'll always be my sons.

[Gloria then hugs her sons]

## Ellie leaves the family for good

**Ellie: It was time to say goodbye to the McPumpkins.**

Ellie: Well guys it is time for Jo-Jo to go now.

Lauren: Thank you for helping us!

Gloria: Yes it was a pleasure having you here.

DJ: Bye bye!

Ellie: Bye everyone!

## Family Update

[Gloria, Robert, Charlotte, Lauren, Skyla, Marissa, DJ, Diego, and Kyle are at Disneyland]

**Gloria: It was so nice that DJ, Diego, and Kyle are finally well behaved.**

**Robert: They no longer hit, kick, spit, swear, etc.**