Caravelle Axxe

CARAVELLE AXXE

**Appearance**

Caravelle, born perceived as a boy, was always thought of as too thin, too small of a body size for a male, having a underdeveloped muscular structure, and would never be a handsome, viral man. However, those observations were actually such that Caravelle already had a body size and shape that would already be assumed as feminine, and therefore would not be seen as having physical barriers to her transition from male to female. Caravelle has a round, soft face, and typical of young boys, a slightly pointed chin. Her hair is medium black, with gray highlights. She wears it in a girl's pixie cut, with long, thick bangs all around the sides and back of her head. Bangs also mostly cover her forehead. She has huge 'anime and manga girl' eyes, such a rarity for a perceived boy. Her eye color seems to oscillate between medium to deep sea blue. She has thick, long eyelashes, also rare for a perceived boy. She has thin eyebrows, a small nose, and recessed ears, covered by her side bangs. She has a creamy texture of skin, light beige to pale pink, not rough and rugged like a boys, and even all over.

Caravelle has a thin neck, but average shoulders for her body size. She has a flat chest, and has not yet taken drugs to develop her bust. But that only adds to her child-like appearance, although she is in her mid-teens. She has thin arms and average hands. Her torso is such that she has a trim waist. Yet no hips whatsoever, just like a typical boy. However, Caravelle has long, shapely, sexy legs, with average sized feet. Her overall appearance is such that most of the time she is correctly perceived as her Gender Identity of a female, but sometimes people will take her as supposedly a cross-dressed teenage boy. As Caravelle continues to transition, she leaves her physical boy traits behind, and presents as more and more feminine as time goes by.

Caravelle's fashion style is that of typical clothing for an unassuming teenage girl. She wears mostly casual clothes, however, her wardrobe was severely limited to what she could carry in a small suitcase the day she was abandoned. That, and she had to hid her girl's clothes from her mother, therefore, she could not have had very many to begin with. She brought with her several t-shirts, a maternity smock, a jumper dress, a play dress, a couple of mini-skirts, one longer knee-length skirt, two pair of short shorts, leggings, a hoodie jacket, and a swimdress. As she spends time in Vonderland, she begins to gradually purchase more clothing items, again mostly plain and casual girl's styles. She also begins to obtain suitable warm clothing for the upcoming cold weather of winter.

**Personality and Circumstances**

Caravelle's personality has been largely shaped by the circumstances and situations that have developed around her, rather than any inborn or conscience choice by herself. She was born as an unwanted child by both mother and father, all the more so when it became obvious to the parents that she was a male to female transgender tween child. Therefore, her personality had to have many defense attributes, to deal with the loneliness and isolation that became an integral part of her early life. To her credit, much of what developed into her personality were considered to be good traits. Probably the greatest trait that she kept with her was her strong self-determination. She knew about the time of puberty that she was a girl inside, and that is what she was going to be for the rest of her life, regardless of what others think, say, or do. Yet transitioning to being an authentic girl would be a long and winding road fraught with much peril and obstacles. Caravelle had to develop and retain a viable sense of patience and endurance to travel such a road for many years to come. As a loner, with no friends or family to turn to, she had to have a strong sense of self-reliance. She would be the only one to take care of herself. Thus, she became outstandingly resourceful in figuring out how to obtain necessities and sustain herself.

Although her parents always gave Caravelle money and material things just to get rid of her and keep her occupied, she came to understand that such wealth has no real intrinsic value. Money could not cure emotional matters of the heart, effect one's spirituality for the good, nor immediately and unequivocally authenticate one's correct Gender Identity of female, and completely negate the unwanted effects of one's perceived birth sex of male. Surprisingly, Caravelle came to have an interest in spiritual concepts. Surprising, since many of the people who she came into contact with and claimed to be religious, were the very ones who would project disapproval and disgust toward her, for merely existing as a trans girl. This kind of mental and emotional torture, designed to punish her for being a girl and force her back to being a perceived boy, discouraged her to tears, but only reinforced her iron will to continue her transition from male to female. Yet her outlook was tempered with a desire to be peaceful and level-headed in her dealings with others. Caravelle learned to find joy in doing things for herself, and to take pride in her own hard-won accomplishments. Although many times she had to realize accomplishment only through trail-and-error, with defeat and discouragement happening before any good results appeared, she persevered with whatever she was trying to accomplish.

Caravelle did have a few less than desirable traits in her personality. Concentrating so much on her own wants and needs, she became introverted and self-centered. Little or no thought was given to helping others, as it always seemed that others would rather ignore or hurt her for merely being a trans girl, rather than helping her with life's problems. She lacked any trust in others, always feeling that any trust or faith that she would subscribe to others would be misplaced, and would eventually and certainly come back to hurt or injure her. This can be seen how she behaved in the Welcome Center the first day that she was in Vonderland, as well as how she reacted by contact with the prideful young girl Lexi. Storge (family) Love was completely lacking, however, in time Caravelle did come to experience Agape Love (love of what is right and proper) as well as Ludus Love, little by little as she directed her life. Overall, even though the odds were very much against her, Caravelle never gave up on who she was, a perceived boy on the outside, but an authentic girl on the inside, and learned how to live life on her own terms, and be a better person for doing so.

**Caravelle's Story**

Caravelle Axxe is the Main Character of the RPG style short story *"The Throwaway Girl"*. Caravelle is a male to female transgender teenager. "Carl" (Caravelle's male name given to her at birth, later legally discarded by Attorney Burl Iverson) had never been close to 'his' mother or father. 'His' father made it clear to 'him' that he was too busy with his CEO career to be bothered by a child. Mother had made it clear to 'him' that she never wanted to have children anyway. Children were too much of a burden on her and her self-centered lifestyle, as they would distract her and take time away from her doing the things that she wanted to do. "Carl's" father was a "workaholic", who never had time for his "son" or 'his' mild-mannered interests, like drawing, art, and classical music. "Carl's" father was abusive to mother in a mental or emotional sense. He always wanted his wife to dress and act in a sexy, provocative manner. Mrs. Axxe originally objected to doing that, but did it anyway, eventually getting quite used to it, and after a long time, came to really enjoy dressing and acting coy and sexy. "Carl" never understood why father, or people in general, would want to look at mother in such a explicit and unnerving way. Father was abusive to "Carl", too, but in a different way. Without putting hardly any of his own effort into it, he always expected his perceived 'son', to grow up as a manly man, a super duper man, an alpha male of physical prowess, and with virile emotional, sexual, and financial abilities. "Carl" knew all along that 'he' could never, ever do that. Father especially turned cruel and overbearing when "Carl" began slowly looking and acting feminine and girly, first covertly, then overtly as "Carl" began transitioning. As such, with that kind of toxic family attitudes around all the time, "Carl" always kept to 'himself', did things by 'himself', and never had any friends of any age.

After the death of her Father, and much to her Mother's displeasure, Caravelle continued to gradually transition to her correct gender of female when she was just fourteen. Just after her fifteenth birthday, Caravelle was abandoned by her unconcerned Mother in the resort town of Vonder Village. Because of the fact that Caravelle was so adamant about being a trans girl, this came to be the major reason why she was unwanted by her Mother, and seemingly unwanted and in need of punishment by just about everyone else. After she began her transitioning, she came to recognize that she would seemingly forever become a loner, with no friends or family, no one caring if she lived or died, and has come to understand that the only person who is going to take care of her, is herself alone.

Caravelle's first day completely on her own, ends with her crying her heart out, with her ending up sleeping on the beach outside the village of Vonder Beach. However, setbacks, loneliness, opposition, and outright prejudice / hatred by other children and adults alike only made her all the more determined to live her life on her own valid terms, as the teenage girl she was meant to be. As her self-preservation instincts kick in, she becomes self-taught in the ways of survival, with only her own trial and error abilities, her dead reckoning, and her past experiences to go on. She ends up living by herself, in an dilapidated, abandoned cabana near a torn down house and a marina junkyard, just outside the town of Vonder Beach. Slowly she begins to piece together her shattered self-worth, and despised by others everyday life, despite the many people and circumstances that would like to see her either move elsewhere, mysteriously disappear, or commit suicide. This for doing nothing more than existing and trying to live as a male to female transgender teen, and trying to live her life as her mind, heart, and spirit tells her to do so, this being as an valid, authentic teenage girl.

**Triva**

In the English language, the first name "Caravelle' is feminine, and means an enduring, beloved child, or a faithful, beloved best friend.