Rinser

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Morgan Leonard "Rinser" Clarin (born June 12th, 1996) is a freshman at Wankston University and serves as the captain of the ice hockey team. He plays left wing and wears jersey #12.

## Early Life

Rinser was born in Mississauga, Ontario and grew up in Toronto where he lived with his dad. He is an only child and his parents divorced when he was four years old.

His interest in hockey was sparked when his father, who is a custodian, would bring Rinser with him when he worked at the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Rinser is of Filipino descent, his parents are second generation immigrants

## Juniors

Along with Roonie and Woozy, Rinser was part of "The Ice Wall" line. He played left wing.

## Wankston

Rinser is majoring in Dong Studies with a Sociology minor at Wankston. He turned down a full Meme Scholarship at Memeston in order to accept the prestigious Dong Scholarship offered by Wankston.

Apart from varsity hockey, Rinser is also an active in the student newspaper, *The Wanker*, as a proofreader. He also live models for the Fine Arts department from time to time.

## Personal Life

Rinser does not openly discuss his sexuality. When a reporter joked about Rinser "getting some" after scoring a game-winning hat trick , he replied:

> "Shouldn't you be asking me about my performance in the game and not about my performance in bed? [laughs] I mean, I'm all for people loving whoever they want to love and doing whatever but I believe that that shit's personal. C'mon man, I'm 18. I don't have time for this, I have a midterm tomorrow."
>
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The reporter later expressed their ire on their twitter page, stating that Rinser is a "just a cocky kid who can't get laid or can't take a joke". The tweet went viral and the reporter was fired during the debacle.

He spends his off-season and summer months at training camps or going up north to spend time at a cottage.

Rinser's favourite teams are the Memetreal Canadiens, Calgary Flamemes and Chicago Wankhawks. He has cited Carey Price, Brendan Gallagher, Johnny Gaudreau and Jonathan Toews as his role models. According to his teammates, his biggest fave is actually Gallagher due to the fact that "dude's got [Gallagher's] pictures EVERYWHERE" and that some have even heard him whisper "what would Gally do" when he was distressed. "Our captain doesn't know that we know. He thinks his massive crush is a secret but let's be real, it's fucking obvious if you watch Habs games with him," says a Wanger who wishes to remain anonymous.

Rinser still doesn't have his driver's license, nor can he ride a bike. He relies on public transportation and his "own perfectly damn good feet" to get around.

During his rare free time, Rinser enthusiastically runs a sports blog where he reblogs hockey shit and liveblogs games. He is also now on twitter where he posts selfies and agonizes over the fact that he can't change his twitcon from a picture of his ass.

## Personality

Opposing teams have referred to Rinser as a "little shit" due to his tenacity and practice of stealing passes to score. Rinser is often on the receiving end of bad checks and scrimmages. Despite the fact that he is often targeted, he never chirps or provokes his opponents. Instead, he incited the collective wrath of other teams when he stated that he knew better than to chirp those below him, saying "GET ON MY LEVEL, NERDS" after sweeping a series with his juniors team.

Off ice, Rinser isn't as gutsy. He is said to be "less of an asshole and more of a sad, sad grandpa". After his last minute switcharoo from Memeston to Wankston, he became notably more withdrawn, going so far as to exile himself to a dank corner in the newspaper office as he proofreads articles on production nights. He has a stick up his butt and is an actual infant. Rinser is frequently stressed out about something.

As team captain, Rinser is stern yet fair. He cares deeply about the success and well being of his team despite not feeling like he deserves the captain title. Due to the shenanigans his teammates get up to, he is constantly looking into an invisible camera to do the Jim Halpert face from *The Office.*

## Trivia

* publicly his pregame ritual is "making fancy salads" when in actuality it's locking himself in the bathroom and blasting loud music to cover his agonized screams as he puts on contacts
* his live modelling sessions are in the nude, he doesn't really care about being naked and would probably actually prefer to be in a state of undress
* he listens to a lot of rap
* he can't speak a lick of anything besides English but can understand a bit of Tagalog because of his grandparents
* doesn't like to party a lot and even if he does go to a party, he rarely drinks
* when he does drink he is a sad, weepy drunk
* his butt is a result of exercise, years of hockey, and constantly clenching his ass due to pressure
* has no opinion on Kent Parson or Patrick Kane