recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Stone 27

**Chapter 27**

We're back to Kahlan, who's traveling with Chandelier, Prim and Tossy. They're looking at a large, empty city which turns out to be Ebinissia, the capitol of Galea. Kahlan is wearing a white wolf fur mantle, made from a white wolf that Prim and Tossy killed and skinned for her. Now, I'm no Daniel Boone, but I know that tanning hides takes a certain amount of time. Either Our Heroes killed a wolf, then waited in one place for a week or more while the pelt was tanned, or Kahlan is wearing smelly, stiff, sticky uncured hides. Neither makes much sense. \~/

We learn that Kahlan has been teaching the three Mud People to speak English, and so in whatever undetermined amount of time it's taken, they are all reasonably fluent. It's still winter, so it can't possibly have been more than three months, and probably a lot less. Kahlan and Chandelier bicker at each other for a bit, then Kahlan angsts about how mean she was to Richard (which is true, and understandable, so no drink).

We learn that Kahlan and the Boyz have been finding dead people along the road for the past two days, all women and children, mostly half naked. Nice. Prim and Tossy come back (apparently Kahlan sent them to spy on Ebinissia) and report that they say *“Dead men...more than I know the words to count.”* Kahlan, naturally, decides to enter the dead city full of mutilated corpses.

Kahlan notices a hole burned in the city's stone walls, and deduces that only wizard's fire could have done that. She thinks that Zedd and Richard are the only wizards left (yes Kahlan, they're the only wizards left *in the entire world*), but we know this has to have been Beardy, who was to hook up with Prince Fyren. There's some infodumping on Ebinissia, which successfully defended itself against Darken Rahl's forces. Oh, and corpses. Lots of corpses. Kahlan estimates five thousand.

She directs Prim and Tossy to circle the city and report back while she and Chandelier go in. There are more dead people everywhere, including old men and boys. Kahlan notes that there are no corpses of attackers, only Ebinissians. She speculates that the attackers must have been superstitious about leaving the bodies of their allies behind, and *“One nation, above all, sat at the head of her roster.”*

Kahlan and Chandelier go into an herbalists shop and find some *quassin doe,* which is a plant and a Plot Device antidote to Chandelier's ten-step poison. This takes two pages. Another few pages are taken up with Kahlan explaining concepts like “locked” and “money” and “specialization.” There's a tailor's shop with dead people inside.

Look, I'm explaining this as best I can.

Anyway, Kahlan starts plodding towards her destination (we aren't told where it is) and the chapter ends.

Drinks: 1

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Dragonstone 31

**Chapter 31**

Arin and Samurai Chick leave the pass and continue north, calculating that they'll reach Morkfjord in a month. They come to a fork in the road, and are met by a chariot with two warriors aboard: *“fierce warrior maidens of Jord.”* The Jordians want to know who they are, and are shocked to meet a *“yellow-skinned person.”* \~/ They are further shocked when Arin tells them they came up Kaagor Pass, since a monster lives in the pass, and are trebly shocked to learn that Arin and Samurai Chick killed the monster.

The Jordians are suitably impressed, and take Our Heroines back to camp, after which they press on. Travel travel travel. \~/ Then . . . this happens:

“*A week they rode and another, and the stench from the rotting Troll's eye became unbearable. And so in a small Jordian hamlet, they sealed the putrescent orb in melted beeswax and honey in a tarred leather sack tightly wrapped.”*

I have nothing to add there. \~/\~/

More travel, they do the Magic Elf Dance of the Solstice, and they finally reach Morkfjord. And so, on page 182, our flashback ends and we finally return to Present Day.

Drinks: 4

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Dragonstone 17

**Chapter 17**

This chapter is one page long. It describes a forest.

Enough with the one-page forest chapters! They serve no useful purpose and I'm getting tired of them! Can we please get on with what passes for the plot?

Three drinks for pissing me off. \~/\~/\~/

Drinks: 3

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Dragonstone 27

**Chapter 27**

Back to the present, where Egil gets super-mad at the name of Mount Doom Ordrune. Actually, you know what? If you're going to be that lazy, McKiernan, so am I. His name is now Doomy.

Egil freaks out when Doomy's name is mentioned, panicking Alos. Samurai Chick draws her swords and jumps between Egil and Arin, and for once I completely agree with her. Arin manages to calm Egil down, and Alos drinks some booze. \~/

Egil refuses to elaborate, so Arin dismisses the whole thing. Samurai Chick snarls at Alos because she is a violent psychopath, and he cowers and tries to placate her. We get another reminder that Alos is disgusting and unpleasant \~/ and two more that he's a hopeless, pathetic drunkard \~/\~/

and then the chapter ends.

Drinks: 4

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Temple 24

**Chapter 24**

We find ourselves with a new character, a Mysterious, Nameless Someone, male for a change. Since I am heartily tired of Mysterious, Nameless Someones, I hereby dub him Francisco until such time as we learn his actual name.

Francisco is lurking around what seems to be a brothel, waxing philosophical on the smells and his own lust and suchlike. He watches the last customer leave, pondering how men like that are just brutes, thinking only of their own pleasure and never worrying about what the woman wants. He flogs a thesaurus for a bit, using the words like "ephemeral," "transcendent," and "evanescent" in rapid succession. He thinks about how awesome he is, that he can give a woman true satisfaction.

Francisco enters the brothel and goes into the room the last customer left without knocking. We get a description of the room (small, windowless) and the occupant (short blonde hair, sky-blue eyes, mostly naked). Francisco notes that she has just washed herself, and then wastes a page pondering and musing and ruminating on how the girl probably inspires obsession in her clients, and how awesomesauce he is for being able to satisfy women. Francisco seems rather full of himself.

We also learn the pimp's name (Silas Latherton, which I'm sure will be a vitally important detail in days to come) and that he controls the money, but he also protects his girls from rough clients. The girl's name is Rose, and this is taking place in Aydindril.

Francisco tells the girl that he wants her to enjoy it. When she makes the rather obvious comment that she's a whore doing her job, so he shouldn't worry about her, he produces four gold coins which are hers if she enjoys it. Since this is thirty times what she normally makes, she suddenly becomes very, very enthusiastic.

And now we come to the most vital and important part of any epic fantasy saga, the whore/client foreplay. Lovely. I'm going to skim over it; if you're disappointed, go Google some boobs. Francisco learns that Rose's real name is Rosa, which is a truly staggering alias. \~/

So there's two pages of self-indulgent mental blathering combined with Skinemax softcore titillation, and then Francisco stabs Rose in the spine. He quickly gags and disables her, more mental blather about his erection (thanks, Terry \~/) and how he's going to please her, and then the scene ends on the implied torture. \~/

At least it was short.

No! Bad Pinkie!

Drinks: 3

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Alonso Granados

**Alonso Granados** es un futbolista mexicano, juega como delantero.

## Trayectoria

Debuto primero con el Atlético Mexiquense el 4 de agosto de 2007, ya en Primera División lo hace el 8 de febrero de 2009 en la fecha 4 ante Puebla, debutado por José Manuel de la Torre, entro al minuto 79 por Sergio Santana, y 8 minutos después al 87 anoto el segundo gol que le dio el triunfo a su equipo.

A partir de allí ya no volvió a jugar con el primer equipo quedando relegando solo a jugar en el Mexiquense y en la sub 20 y en 2011 quedo libre, en 2013 llego a Alebrijes, equipo en donde estuvo hasta 2015.

## Clubes

 Alebrijes de Oaxaca | México | 2013 - 2015
Dragonstone 44

**Chapter 44**

Lord Revor waks up, looks at the list of names of prisoners to be executed, and wonders briefly whether Ferai was the "ferret" that Arin was looking for. Since it's long past sundown, he reasons that she's already dead and it's a moot point. He mentally shrugs and goes back to sleep.

I'm not kidding. That was the entire chapter. It was even more useless than McKiernan's stupidly pointless forest chapters.

Five drinks. \~/\~/\~/\~/\~/

So this page won't be a total waste, here is a video of a spider doing cartwheels.

Drinks: 5

<Previous Chapter - Next Chapter>
Wizard's First Rule

Welcome to the sporking of Wizard's First Rule, the first book in Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth series. In this book we will meet Richard, our, erm, hero, and many things will be established. Without further ado, grab a shot glass and let's dive right in.

A note to my readers: due to circumstances beyond my control, I lost the first forty chapters of my original spork of Wizard's First Rule. Fortunately, **Mysterious Man** was able to help me recover them. Many, many thanks, friend!

* Chapter 1
* Chapter 2
* Chapter 3
* Chapter 4
* Chapter 5
* Chapter 6
* Chapter 7
* Chapter 8
* Chapter 9
* Chapter 10
* Chapter 11
* Chapter 12
* Chapter 13
* Chapter 14
* Chapter 15
* Chapter 16
* Chapter 17
* Chapter 18
* Chapter 19
* Chapter 20
* Chapter 21
* Chapter 22
* Chapter 23
* Chapter 24
* Intermission - Early Thoughts
* Chapter 25
* Chapter 26
* Chapter 27
* Chapter 28
* Chapter 29
* Chapter 30
* Chapter 31
* Chapter 32
* Chapter 33
* Chapter 34
* Chapter 35
* Chapter 36
* Chapter 37
* Chapter 38
* Chapter 39
* Chapter 40
* Chapter 41
* Chapter 42
* Chapter 43
* Chapter 44
* Chapter 45
* Chapter 46
* Chapter 47
* Chapter 48
* Chapter 49

Back to the Sword of Truth sporks
Stone 33

**Chapter 33**

We now return to *The Adventures of Zedd and Adie,* featuring a wise-cracking wizard and a sarcastic sorceress. Our two leads are currently holed up in a nice room at the Ram's Horn inn, which is busy despite it being winter. As the book says, *“trade couldn't simply stop because of the season. Merchants, drivers and travelers of every sort filled the inn...”*

Except I'm pretty sure trade *did* stop in the winter in pre-industrial times, or at least slow way, way down. Nothing is growing and people are far more concerned with not freezing to death or dying of starvation to bother with trade, not to mention the enormous amount of extra effort and expense required to travel and great distance through snow and bitter cold. History fail. \~/

Anyway Adie is asking Zedd to cut her arm off. Apparently her skrin-scratch is infected or some such, and Zedd muses that he can't help it with magic – magic being the problem. We eventually learn that Zedd somehow became infected with skrinitis when he healed Adie's physical injury, and now the taint has spread throughout both of their bodies.

Adie tries to think of someone who could help, and eventually remembers “the three sisters” in Nicobarese. Unfortunately, she and Zedd are currently in Penverro, wherever the foggy blue hell that is. Since they were making for Aydindril, it can only be smack in the middle of the Rang-apostrophe-Shada Mountains.

Which means we now have an inn crowded with traders, in the middle of winter, *in the mountains.* \~/

Zedd declares that they must go to Nicobarese. Adie says that's a bad idea, as the Blood of the Fold are in Nicobarese, and they will remember her. Apparently, the fact that she left Nicobarese *“Two kings ago”* won't help her, as *“Time means nothing to the Blood.”* Umm...okay.

We learn that Zedd and Adie are masquerading as a noble couple as Zedd heads out to hire them a coach. To travel in the middle of winter. Through the mountains. To another country.

Oh, and Zedd is wearing a ridiculous outfit, ha ha ha.

Drinks: 2

<Previous Chapter  -  Intermission>
Temple 3

**Chapter 3**

We start with Cara giving Kahlan a convoluted demonstration of her Dominatrix powers, which involves more pain, bloodshed, and degradation for Captain Picard. I'm not sporking it. You're welcome. I am, however, reinstating the one-drink-per-page-of-torture rule, so, \~/\~/\~/.

We do learn that Cara can effectively set contingencies on her torture-powers, such as ordering her victim to take a specific action or avoid a specific action, and her powers activate if he violates her directives. I am supremely uninterested in the details of Goodkind's torture-based magic system, though.

Kahlan and Cara decide to imprison Captain Picard in *“the pit,”* which proves to be the Rape Pit of Rapiness from a few books ago, now empty of rapists. As he is interred there, we learn that he is from the Big Stone Witch House, is 93 years of age, and enjoys long walks on the beach and sappy romantic poetry. He also reveals that he came to Aydindril with someone else, a young Bad Nun with long brown hair. Cara and Kahlan decide this must be Nadine, and the chapter ends.

That was short.

Drinks: 3

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Wizard 33

**Chapter 33**

Rachel is sitting behind PV at dinner. A handsome blonde man enters the room, accompanied by two bodyguards wearing those ridiculous spiked armbands. It's Rahl, and everyone is in a tizzy because he's a day early. Rahl is charming and polite, but says that *“I don't approve of butchering helpless animals and then consuming their flesh.”* I'm beginning to think this “Rahl is a Veggie” bit is intended as a slam on vegetarians.

Rahl promises to sign anything the queen has for him, but insists that she produce the magic box at once. He does not use a seal, saying that *“his written name would do, that he was sure he would recognize his own writing in the future,”* har har.

Giller brings out the fake magic box, and Rahl's bodyguard immediately smashes it. Rahl correctly blames Giller for this and he is dragged away to be questioned. Rachel, meanwhile, runs off to find the magic-box-in-bread, but runs back to get Sara, her creepy talking doll. She runs into PV, who threatens to burn Sara, until Rachel threatens her with her magic fire-starting stick.

Rachel finally escapes the castle by tricking the guards in a manner that's not worth going into here. Sara the Creepy Doll tells her that Giller can't come with her, and to just keep running until winter, and then find some nice people who will let her live with them. Then a giant ball of blue-and-yellow flame erupts from somewhere in the castle, and Sara stops talking. Exit Giller, I suppose.

Yes, this means that Sara the Creepy Doll was basically a magic walky-talky.

Drinks: None.

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Alain Rashiv Estrada

**Alain Rashiv Estrada** (nacido el 13 de agosto de 1991 en Nezahualcóyotl, Estado de México, México) es un jugador mexicano, que juega de portero para Halcones de Zapopan de la Liga de Balompié Mexicano.

## Trayectoria

Inicio con Atlético Altamira en 2008, luego paso a las Fuerzas Básicas del Pachuca.

En 2012 fue prestado a Murciélagos, luego paso por Tlaxcala, antes de regresar a Pachuca.

En 2017, vuelve a ser prestado a los Murciélagos.
Para el 2020 ficha para los Halcones de Zapopan de la recién nacida Liga de Balompié Mexicano.
Emporium Drinking Game

**The Enchantment Emporium Drinking Game!**

As is traditional around here, we will be using mankind's oldest friend, alcohol, to attempt to render this less painful. Take a drink \~/

* For incest,
* For sexism, whether directed at women or men,
* For cliches and lazy writing,
* Any time a member of the Gale family displays Mary Sue traits,
* Any time you want to slap one of the characters.

Note: We at Talisman's Tower do not recommend actually attempting to follow this drinking game.

Back to the spork!
Wizard 11

**Chapter 11**

The chapter starts with two Fish swooping down on Our Heroes. One knocks Zedd into the bushes, while the other tries to kill Richard and Kahlan, but is foiled by Zedd's cat. That's one hell of a cat. A short fight ensues, during which Richard cuts off a Fish's arm with his sword before Zedd incinerates both Fish with “wizard's fire,” which is blue-and-yellow and wails like a living thing.

Incidentally, the cat's name is Cat. Just thought I'd mention that.

Richard & Co. head to Chase's house (remember Chase? The boundary warden who likes torturing people). They drop off the cat named Cat and we learn that Chase has a whole Dunedain complex, *“Our only duty is to protect the people from the things that come out of the darkness.”* Because apparently things sometimes come out of the boundary, never mind that whole “nothing can escape from the underworld” business earlier.

We meet Chase's wife Emma and his daughter Lee, who is *“the ugliest child I've ever seen,”* according to her loving father. Nice. Chase joins our Merry Band and says he will lead them to the pass, which is called Kings' Port, and is in *“a foul place called Southaven.”* And the chapter ends.

That was short.

Drinks: None.

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Dragonstone 30

**Chapter 30**

The Generic Elves have made their way to the Silverwood, where Generic Elf #3 hears *“a faint tapping, nearly rhythmic, as of a hammer on stone.”* The elves confer for a page and reach no conclusions. Samurai Chick's tiger tattoo is consulted, but is unhelpful.

The Generic Elves leave for Generic Elfland, while Arin and Samurai Chick (and Samurai Chick's tiger, who is referred to almost as much as the actual characters) head north for Morkfjord. They enter Kaagor Pass, which leads through the Grimwall Mountains, and after about a page of travel and descriptions of mountains and mist, Samurai Chick's tiger *“whispers of danger.”* Apparently it's a magic tattoo or something. Hope you didn't expect any elaboration there. I shall assume it confers the Alertness feat.

They stop and string their bows, and then Arin . . . um . . . does something:

“*Then she took a deep breath and concentrated, and looked through the fog in her* special *way . . . and although the mist yet hampered her sight, she now seemed able to see perhaps twice as far.”*

Why does Arin have this power? No idea. How does it work? No idea. Can all elves do this? No idea. Is this another expression of “wild magic?” No idea. Why does the text specify that she **seemed** able to see farther? No idea.

\~/\~/

Suddenly, a Random Ogre attacks! It jumps out of hiding and kills a pony. Ninja ogre! Samurai Chick throws a *“shiruken”* \~/ into its eye, and we are treated to an accurate representation of an ogre's roar, which is *“RRRAAAAWWW!”* The Arin shoots an arrow into its brain by way of its open mouth, killing it.

Arin and *“the yellow warrior”*\~/ determine that the ogre is dead and there are no more, before giggling like a pair of schoolgirls. *“The yellow warrior”* \~/ recovers her *“shiruken,”* \~/ and Arin cautions her to wash it clean because ogre blood is caustic. Then they ponder whether the ogre was the “One-Eye in Dark Water” they're looking for, since there's this gloomy fog about and the ogre (now) has only one eye. Yes. They seriously consider this. \~/

I would take back half of all the bad things I've said about McKiernan if it turned out they were supposed to recruit this ogre, and now the world is doomed because of their stupidity.

So, just in case, they decide to cut out one of the ogre's eyes and take it with them. Yes. Just in case the “rede” that referred to Samurai Chick also refers to a disembodied ogre eye. If this is the case, I can't wait to see what the “rutting peacock” is. \~/

Then, and I swear to St Tolkien this actually happens, they spend a few lines debating *which eye to take.*

I just . . .

\~/\~/

So they harvest their ogre eyeball – the damaged one, in case you're keeping track – and press on.

Drinks: 10

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Alberto Ocejo

**Jesús Alberto Ocejo Zazueta** (16 de junio de 1998; Hermosillo, Sonora) es un futbolista mexicano que se desempeña en la posición de delantero en el Atlas Fútbol Club.

## Trayectoria

Ocejo inició jugando en categorías inferiores de Rayados entre 2013 y 2014 donde anotó 3 goles. Para el Apertura 2014 se incorpora a las categorías juveniles de Santos Laguna donde obtiene aún más regularidad.

Debuta en copa el 13 de septiembre de 2017 ingresando de cambio en el encuentro en el que su equipo derrotó de visitante a FC Juárez. Jugó 23 minutos.

Para el torneo de copa del Apertura 2018 juega en todos los encuentros de la fase de grupos, siendo titular en 3 de 4 partidos. En dicho torneo, Santos Laguna se quedó en fase de grupos.

Tras ir sumando minutos en categorías inferiores de Santos, se va prestado al Tampico Madero para el Apertura 2019 del Ascenso MX donde en las primeras 3 jornadas solo jugó 16 minutos.

En la jornada 4 la *Jaiba Brava*visitaba a los Cimarrones de Sonora y Ocejo recibió la confianza de su técnico Mario García para ser titular. Al minuto 31 anotó un gol de larga distancia ante el equipo de su ciudad natal el cual fue celebrado por toda su familia presente en el estadio con camisetas alusivas a él.

Gracias a ésto, fue recibiendo más minutos con el equipo tamaulipeco y fue anotando mas goles, incluyendo dobletes contra Cafetaleros de Chiapas  y Club Celaya.  Ocejo acabó como subcampeón de goleo de la temporada.

En liguilla el Tampico Madero se enfrentaba a Club Celaya y, tras perder la ida 1-0 en el Miguel Alemán Valdés, debía ganar en la vuelta. Sin embargo Ocejo falló un penal que pudo significar el pase a semifinales a su equipo debido a que el partido terminó 0-0.

Pese a esto, en el torneo siguiente siguió reciviendo minutos hasta que se suspendió el torneo por la pandemia del coronavirus.

Debido a su cantidad de goles anotados en el conjunto tampiqueño, Ocejo regresa al  Santos Laguna para el Guard1anes 2020.

Debutó en Liga MX el 8 de agosto de 2020 en el partido entre Rayados de Monterrey y Santos Laguna en el Estadio BBVA. Ocejo entró de cambio al minuto 73 por Eduardo Aguirre y tuvo una ocasión al final del partido que atajó Hugo González. El partido acabó 2-2.

Anotó su primer gol en primera división el 4 de abril de 2021, luego de que en un partido contra el Club Deportivo Guadalajara, Hiram Mier se resbalara y le otorgara el balón a Ocejo. Tras conducir el balón, hizo un tiro cruzado que venció a José Antonio Rodríguez.

El 6 de julio de 2022 se anunció su incorporación al Atlas Fútbol Club tras la lesión de Mauro Manotas.
Stone of Tears

And here we are again folks, back in the wondrous world of Richard, Kahlan, Zedd and the rest, the fantasy that isn't a fantasy despite having wizards and dragons and magic swords. Having survived *Wizard's First Rule* (which proved to be far, far worse than I even remembered), we now dive headlong into the abyss that is *Stone of Tears!*

In this book we shall find such horrors as: hypocrisy! Bullying! The least-plausible war campaign ever! Villains who make Darken Rahl seem brilliant and subtle! Strap yourselves in; it's only going to get bumpier.

* Chapter 1
* Chapter 2
* Chapter 3
* Chapter 4
* Chapter 5
* Chapter 6, part 1
* Chapter 6, part 2
* Chapter 7
* Chapter 8
* Chapter 9
* Chapter 10
* Chapter 11
* Chapter 12
* Chapter 13
* Chapter 14
* Chapter 15
* Chapter 16
* Chapter 17
* Chapter 18
* Chapter 19
* Chapter 20
* Chapter 21
* Chapter 22
* Chapter 23
* Chapter 24
* Chapter 25
* Chapter 26
* Chapter 27
* Chapter 28
* Chapter 29
* Chapter 30
* Chapter 31
* Chapter 32
* Chapter 33
* Intermission - The World
* Chapter 34
* Chapter 35
* Chapter 36
* Chapter 37
* Chapter 38
* Chapter 39
* Chapter 40
* Chapter 41
* Chapter 42
* Chapter 43
* Chapter 44
* Chapter 45
* Chapter 46
* Chapter 47
* Chapter 48
* Chapter 49
* Chapter 50
* Chapter 51
* Chapter 52
* Chapter 53
* Chapter 54
* Chapter 55
* Chapter 56
* Chapter 57
* Chapter 58
* Chapter 59
* Chapter 60
* Chapter 61
* Chapter 62
* Chapter 63
* Chapter 64
* Chapter 65
* Chapter 66
* Chapter 67
* Chapter 68
* Chapter 69
* Chapter 70
* Chapter 71
* Back to the Sword of Truth sporks
Temple 9

**Chapter 9**

Captain Picard proves to be asleep, still standing in the spot where they left him. This is weird and wrong. Cara wakes him up with a long kiss, because we can't forget the Dominatrices aren't just torturers, they're *highly sexualized* torturers. \~/

Captain Picard wakes up, and Kahlan is creeped out by his eyes. He addresses them, referring to them as *“My two darlins,”* pretty much establishing that Jagang is somehow possessing Captain Picard. Kahlan recognizes this immediately, and orders Cara to reestablish control, but – surprise! – she cannot, and Jagang-in-Picard (hereafter Jagcard) ends up smacking her into the wall. In addition to being immune to Cara's Dominatrix powers, Jagcard seems much stronger and more resilient than he should be, casually shrugging off several attacks and flinging Cara around like a rag doll.

Kahlan tells Nadine to run, but Jagcard somehow . . . telekinetically pulls Nadine across the room and grabs her by the throat. Okay.

Kahlan orders the soldiers upstairs to lock them all in the Rape Pit of Rapiness, then decides its time to mindrape Jagcard and end it. Jagcard threatens to crush Nadine's throat, and Kahlan essentially retorts that she's willing to sacrifice Nadine if necessary. We also learn that *“Even if [Jagcard] didn't crush her throat, he was touching her, and if Kahlan took him with her power, Nadine would be lost too.”*

So this establishes that anyone touching a Mindrapist's victim at the moment of the attack gets mindraped as well. Interesting. I wonder if there are limits on this? If eight people are all touching the victim, does this affect all of them? What if someone is touching a secondary victim; how far does the effect carry? And when Kahlan mindraped Orsk, while she was in the middle of a heap of soldiers, why didn't it affect all of them?

Once again, I'm giving this more thought than Terry did, aren't I?

Jagcard says, in essence, “Don't you want me to tell you my Evil Plan?” \~/ He and Kahlan chat for a few pages, during which Jagcard vomits forth great gouts of exposition.

* He doesn't like how Richard has changed Murderball.
* The Bad Nun's name is Sister Amelia, and she has somehow betrayed Satan and turned back to God. This serves Jagang's goals . . . somehow.
* He has invoked a type of prophecy *“called a bound fork. It enforces a double-bind on its victim.”* Richard will have to take one action, which will kill him, or another, which will kill him. Sounds good to me.
* Kahlan goads Jagcard about the prophecy until he magically carves it into the walls of the Rape Pit of Rapiness in High D'Haran.

Kahlan tells Cara to stop Jagcard, but Jagcard flings Nadine at her and she collapses, screaming. Jagcard escapes up the ladder, and Kahlan and Nadine pursue her, finding that he has managed to slaughter all the soldiers guarding the Rape Pit of Rapiness, but has lost an arm in the process.

End chapter.

Drinks: 2

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Economy

## How the People Pay

In this town surrounded by walls, the People use Copper and Gold coins to pay for their goods. And, like the civilians, Soldiers in the Militia also use that same currency. Though the Gold coins are rarer, they are spent to acquire rare items, like decorations. They can also be used to bribe other soldiers. The copper coins can be used to buy new equipment, like purchasing blades instead of using materials. It all has to do with you, the player, and your luck.

At the moment, there are a few bugs with the copper item gatcha. A few of the items that you get are sometimes taken away for some reason, even though you spent your hard earned copper.

By completing Missions, you are rewarded for your achievements on the expeditions. Killing more titans, or Giants, will grant more coins and materials, allowing you to progress. It is very important to gain more blades and VMG in order to kill Giants more efficiently. More efficiency means more money. It is a very important factor once you leave outside of the walls. The longer you drag out a confrontation, the more risk is involved.

Gold coins are rarer than all hell. They can be gained by killing the Giants and also by completing missions for the first time. This includes the Online ones. It's possible to buy packages of Gold, but it isn't necessary. This isn't some pay to win game. Though it does make it cool and easy to get items, you can just as easily get crap items from the gatchas. It's happened all too often. Even with Characters.

Can someone else add to this? I'm not entirely sure what to do with the money section after all this. - The Blood Red Dragon
Blood 42

**Chapter 42**

We return to Verna, who is languishing in her cell. She's given insufficient food and water and nobody tells her anything. Yeah, medieval jail sucks, doesn't it? This goes on for a couple of pages before another Nun, Sister Leoma, comes by to inform Verna of the results of her trial. Turns out the Nuns were holding her incommunicado until her trial could be completed, and she as been found guilty of being a Bad Nun, with Sister Ulicia being named Popette in her place.

Verna objects that Ulicia is herself a Bad Nun and that she attacked Hypocrite, but Leoma, quite logically, counters that the only witnesses to that were Verna herself and Richard. Ulicia and her compatriots claimed that they were attacked by Verna and Richard and fled to save their lives. Furthermore, Verna was heard explicitly telling Kevin the Guard that he should be loyal to Richard over the lawful Emperor.

Beautiful. I seem to recall commenting on the stupidity of that myself. \~/

We learn that it's been two weeks since Verna was imprisoned, and all of her directives have been reversed: young wizards have to face the test of pain, the Big Stone Witch House, will continue to provide infinite gold to all and sundry, etc. Verna objects, but Leoma points out that these policies have been in place for thousands of years. Yes, they've been handing out unlimited amounts of cash for thousands of years. \~/\~/

Verna kisses the place where her Popette's ring used to be, and challenges Leoma to kiss *her* ring, something you may remember Bad Nuns are unable to do. Leoma dismisses the suggestion. Verna insists that she knows Leoma is a Bad Nun, and since she's going to be killed anyway, what does it matter if Leoma tells her her Evil Plan?

And Leoma . . . does so.

Yes.

Leoma falls victim to one of the hoariest of villainous cliches: with the “hero” at her mercy, she reveals her evil plan.

\~/\~/

Leoma says that she serves Jagang, and that loyalty to Richard protects one from Jagang's power, which, sure, Verna already knew, but *Leoma didn't know she knew.* As such, she's handing her mortal enemy some pretty critical information for absolutely no reason whatsoever. This can't even be excused as infodumping for the reader, as we already found this out chapters ago. \~/

Leoma elaborates that her task is to force Verna to forsake her loyalty to Richard, although exactly why is not made clear. Presumably it's so Jagang can control her, but why bother? Verna is going to be an implacable enemy of Jagang – she already is, in fact – and Jagang's stated goal is the destruction of all magic everywhere, forever. Stab her with a death dildo and be done with it, you morons. \~/

Verna declares that she will never submit, and Leoma reminds her that she now wears a collar, and one of the collar's main purposes is to inflict pain. This terrifies Verna, as she had forgotten that, despite it being mentioned *literally the same scene.* \~/

Morons.

Drinks: 8

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Temple 30

**Chapter 30**

Short one.

Richard & Co. head off to check on Kip's teammates, and soon find one dead and another bedridden with plague. As Drefan lances swellings in unnecesary detail, \~/ Nadine apologizes to Kahlan, saying she was frustrated and lashed out, and it wasn't Kahlan's fault.

Richard muses that *"Forgiveness was not forthcoming simply because someone asked for it. The transgression was weighed into the equation, and there were transgressions that outweighed absolution."* Which may be true, but it's certainly a very cold and clinical way to put it. It makes it sound like Kahlan is a machine, devoid of empathy, who reasons out whether the person apologizing has reached a certain threshold of reparations before deciding whether or not to dispense forgiveness. While I have no doubt that Kahlan is a soulless, empathy-deprived monster, I rather doubt that's what Terry Goodkind was going for here.

Also, Nadine said some nasty things. That's it. She may be almost as bright as an asparagus, but nothing has yet convinced me that she is the evil, scheming witch I am so clearly meant to believe she is. \~/

Anyway, we move on to another household, and while the boy isn't sick, his sisters are. In a scene that goes on a little too long (and details the lives and descriptions of people we will never see again, making it thoroughly pointless), we learn that the sisters have the plague, and they and every other kid who has had it so far spoke with two Mysterious People after the Murderball game. The Mysterious People can only be Marlin and the Nun, Sister Amelia, and they showed each child a Black Box of Blackness with glowy, sparkly sand inside.

The chapter ends with Richard explaining this to Drefan, and thinking about the prophecy again.

Drinks: 2

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Stone 34

**Chapter 34**

Zedd decides he needs a cane, and lucky for him, the innkeeper has some on display. Zedd buys one that's actually a sword-cane. We learn that Zedd's alias is Ruben Rybnik. I think that's supposed to be a joke, but I'm not sure.

There's a few pages of Zedd and the innkeeper, which are neither terrible nor particularly interesting. Zedd has two gold pieces left (note: we have no idea what kind of buying power that is), so he gets them changed for silver and copper. Interesting that Dickland operates on the Dungeons & Dragons monetary system; no crowns, rupees, pennies, drachmas or sheckels. No, everyone uses the same coins, which are apparently generic discs of metal.

Zedd idly uses his magic to place a curse on a drunken bar-patron, so that whenever he tries to speak to a serving girl he's been annoying, he hiccoughs instead. No indication as to whether this is permanent or not, or what right Zedd has to control this hapless guy with magic. When the guy hiccoughs, a bubble comes out of his mouth, which Zedd thinks is odd.

Blah blah blah, Zedd ends up talking with a man named Ahern who is apparently a teamster. After a lot of chatter, Zedd says he wants to hire Ahern to take he and Adie (or “Elda”) to Nicobarese. Ahern objects on the grounds that he doesn't want to travel through the mountains in winter, and besides there are rumors of civil war in Nicobarese. There are also rumors of trouble along the Galea/Kelton border, which would help if we knew where the border was. We eventually learn that Ahern was an arms runner, smuggling weapons into Galea during their war with D'Hara. He was givem a royal pass by Queen Cyrilla, granting him free passage though Galea. Isn't that nice for him.

Anyway, the gist of this little side-trip – ten pages into the chapter – is that Ahern agrees to ferry Zedd and Adie to Nicobarese for twenty gold, and then to Aydindril for ten more. I'm not sure why the longer journey costs less, or why they're just going to “Nicobarese” - not any specific city or town *in* Nicobarese – but at this point I really don't care.

Oh, and Ahern tells Zedd he can't wear his goofy hat, ha ha.

Zedd uses magic to turn his pouches of silver coins into gold, since after all, it's not like gold and silver coins would have different devices on them, or different words or numbers. They're just blank discs of metal. \~/ And they're exactly the same size, too.

But, shock and horror, the pouch that should have twenty silver (now gold) in it, has eighteen gold and once coin made of wood! The other, that should have nineteen gold, has fifteen gold and two wood. Zedd pays Ahern his twenty in advance and worries about his magic going awry.

And with that necessary business out of our way, the chapter ends.

Drinks: 1

<Intermission  -  Next Chapter>
Blood 54

**Chapter 54**

This chapter is boring and consists of loose ends being tied up, so I'm kinda going to skim through it.

Richard's guards find Cannibal Granny's corpse, but of course they don't know who she is. Zedd is missing and presumed dead. Richard is sad.

Richard angsts for a bit until Kahlan snaps him out of it \~/. We then get a bit where Berdine and Kahlan verbally fellate Richard on his awesome linguistic skills \~/. Berdine talks about her breasts and how Richard ogled all the Dominatrices and groped her, so Kahlan has some suggestive lesbian banter with Raina. Because tits. \~/

Also, Richard wonders how Kahlan knew Berdine and Raina were . . . you know . . . *together.* Kahlan says *“Isn't it obvious? […] The look in their eyes?”* Yeah, it might have been obvious of Goodkind had ever described *any interaction whatsoever* between these two characters. \~/

Next we have a few dignitaries, including Representative Theriault of Herjborgue . . . no, really. That's it's name. That's the name Goodkind went with. That's the name his editor approved. That's what he was paid to write.

. . . so anyway, Representative Theriault of Catonthekeyboard and his colleagues have all agreed that unconditional surrender to the unknown and untested son of the most sadistic tyrant of his generation, the man who has already committed himself to total war against a superior foe, a man who consorts with monsters and who is known for his irrational fits of rage and random death-threats, is just a brilliant idea. \~/

We randomly learn that Richard, in his infinite wisdom and mercy, decided that the ewer used in Murderball was too heavy and was causing little kids to be injured, so he had some smaller, lighter-weight balls made instead. Because that makes all the difference in full-contact football with no protective gear or rules on personal injury: the weight of the ball. \~/ Anyone who agrees to use a new, lighter ball will get an official one marked with an R for the house of Rahl, because Richard's ego knows no bounds.

And for our final scene, we . . . oh no. Oh God no.

We're back with Zedd and Hypocrite, the former now in his “wacky” Ruben Rybnik persona.

Dammit Goodkind!

Zedd is zany and gluttonous, and it's just as funny as it ever was. \~/ They get rooms at an inn, banter is bantered, and we learn that Zedd can take his collar off whenever he feels like it. And . . . that's it.

That's the end.

Yay?

Drinks: 7

Grand Total Drinks: 288

Series Total Drinks: 1,145

Rape Count: 12

Series Total Rape Count: 22

<Previous Chapter - Back to the Sword of Truth sporks
Blood 19

**Chapter 19**

This chapter is largely pointless.

We return to Richard, who is angry (so, nothing new here). He and two hundred soldiers are returning from a fruitless chase, having spent the last four days trying to track . . . someone. It's eventually revealed to be Brogan, Lunetta, and Galtero, but Terry Goodkind plays coy with this information for a page or two, for no real reason.

As Richard heads back into the Mindrapists' Palace, Richard runs into Berdine, who first demands to know where he's been, then informs him that *“You will not wander off again without telling me where you are going. Do you understand?”*

Richard takes this as a joke and tries to laugh it off, but Berdine points her +5 Riding Crop of Pain at him and says *“I asked you a question. I expect an answer. Don't make me ask again.”*

Richard thinks that *“This time there was no excusing her tone or her actions,”* which I heartily agree with. The Dominatrices are predators, and Richard – if he intends to retain his authority – needs to make it clear that, while he won't be cruel to them, he also won't tolerate insubordination. So he . . . does what she wants. He explains where he went and why, and Berdine stalks off.

Richard goes to his study and broods over how he was wrong about the Dominatrices. Cara and Rain come in, and Richard snaps at them, so they leave. A bit later, General Rei comes in and Richard tells him how they failed to find the Nicobaritalians. Rei comments that *“We questioned the ones they left behind at their palace. None knew where Brogan went.”* Richard says they could be lying, to which Rei responds: *“Take my word, they didn't know where they went.”*

Glad to see Richard, Paragon of Justice and Mercy, condones torturing people for information, especially people who aren't even necessarily his enemies. And lest you think I'm reading in a subtext where it doesn't exist, here's the next line: *“Richard didn't want to know the details of what had been done on his behalf.”*

Plausible deniability; ain't it great? \~/

Rei wonders why Richard didn't just track Brogan with magic, prompting Richard to think about how the D'Harans expect him to be their master wizard, while he knows virtually nothing about magic. Naturally, Richard (who considers riddles a form of “intellectual dishonesty,” whatever that means) decides to sidestep the issue by implying that he *could* have tracked Brogan magically, except for excuse excuse excuse.

We learn that General Rei and the D'Harans have literally confiscated all the swords in the city, which just seems bizarre. I hope they took all the axes, spears, polearms, bows, crossbows, clubs and pointy sticks as well. We also learn that there have been no more Mister attacks, but that about three hundred people were killed the first night, including eighty men *“on the road up by the Wizard's Keep.”* Richard ponders whether the Misters were trying to break into the Keep.

Sandy brings in Richard's dinner, and there's some utterly useless blather on who's sleeping where and what's for dinner, and the chapter ends.

Told you it was pointless.

Drinks: 1

<Previous Chapter  -  Next Chapter>
Temple 39

**Chapter 39**

We return to Clarissa, who is trying on dresses for Nathan's approval. We soon learn that Nathan is posing as . . . someone . . . and Clarissa as Jagang's concubine, and Nathan insisted that Clarissa get some fancy clothes. There's a couple of pages of chatter between them, with Clarissa seeking reassurance and Nathan informing her that she's quite pretty, and it's actually not too bad.

Clarissa's new dress apparently pushes her breasts up and half-exposes them, because this is a book about IMPORTANT HUMAN THEMES! She takes a moment to slam the younger women of Renwold - who, I remind you, are currently sex slaves - by implying that their shapeliness was due largely to their fancy dresses. Because after all, women can never be in good shape or have natural curves. It has to be due to bras and corsets and suchlike. \~/

Oh, and Nathan has magicked the silver ring in her lip into a gold one, which is important and meaningful and stuff.

Clarissa comes to the realization that, while Nathan claims to be *"Emperor Jagang's plenipotentiary,"* she herself is disguised as a sex slave. Why Nathan doesn't just remove the ring and let her be a free woman, I don't - oh right, because the Imperial Order is eeeevil, and eeeevil people are all, universally, misogynists. \~/

Nathan and Clarissa have a fancy dinner at a fancy inn, and then head up to their, enormous, palatial room. In a rather well-written bit, Clarissa angsts about her situation and how unfamiliar she is with it, and Nathan does his best to comfort her. I rather like Nathan; he's by far the most compassionate of Goodkind's characters.

So Nathan gives Clarissa the bed, but she invites him to share it with her, in a scene that actually manages to be effective, and the chapter ends.

Drinks: 2

<Previous Chapter - Next Chapter>
VDM Gear

## Uhh... What?

VDM, or Vertical Dimensional Maneuver Gear, is used to launch cables, which will drag your character forward. Maybe one day full-dive Virtual Reality will allow you to really fly, but for now you will be able to maneuver through the maze of a city, fighting titans on your phone or tablet. Still, you will find it hard to get bored of flying around the giant trees. You can always find joy in flying, no matter how faint.

### Alright, how do they work?

Well, that's a good question. Simple. Face a wall, tap a surface, and move forward. Your gas will quickly deplete, but how else do you move? Fun fact: Even when out of gas, you can still leap up walls. It is true that you can jump without gas, even if the gas shows, it's just jumping. They are also used to preform powerful attacks by latching onto the Titans' feet or necks. With a fast reaction, you might be able to quickly attack the feet again and again by circling around, then reattaching to attack mid air. It might be possible.

### How Do I Upgrade Them?

Simple. There is a shop to the left side. It may seem hidden, but it's not too hard to reach. Once you go to the left, the usual orange circle will be there. Walking into it will allow you to access the VDM shop. Once inside, the mechanic girl will be there and she can upgrade your gear. You might think you have enough, but chances are you walk up to it only to be shell-shocked when you see the check. It requires a massive amount of Obsidian, Silver, and Crystals. 23 Obsidian is used for only the first upgrade to the A-12. Each upgrade will still upgrade the performance and allow you to fly further, faster, and longer.

### Why Do I Need One?

How else are you going to slash the neck? Plus, anchoring your wires in the legs conserves blades for damage. Flying is a lot faster than walking and also allows for quick maneuvers to get behind titans. Why else do you need an excuse to fly?