Circle of Scatology Wizards

The **Circle of Scatology Wizards** or **Circle of Scatomancers** is ran by the Scatology wizards. The territory is not controlled like a typical nation state or kingdom. The Wizards of this land are distributed mostly near the northern border, so as to do business with the peasants of Grobianismus. This business typically involves dubiously dependable diarrheic divinations. Much of the land is wilds, and formal law is only enforced within the wizard covenants, and with rare exception, only wizards who are members are given legal protections. They border Grobianismus as its southern neighbor.

## General Information

### Head of State

Heinlauf the 1st (formerly Heinrich the Tainted)

## Geography

### Borders

Kingdom of Grobianism (North), Kokaine (Northeast), Principality of Seagard (East), Ruins of the former Merfolk Empire (South), Frostlands (West), The Cold Steppe (Northwest)

## Society

### Demographics

Scatomancers. Human serfs from Grobianism, The Brown Guard, Excrement Golems

### The Greasy Black Corruption

After the secret machinations of some notorious Nightsoilers in the area oily black Bubbles started to appear someday. They spread in a similar fashion to some fungi and appear to form an underground "root system". It is believed that there is a central source of sinister origin deep within the muddy earth below that is the cause of these greasy springs. When organic matter such as living beings comes in contact with the black tar-like mucous sacs on the surface, the sac first coats part of the body depending on how direct the contact is, then the tar recedes, corroding and absorbing all organic material. The Brown University Scatomancers have successfully stopped the spread of this corruption in Scatoley and contained it to a relatively small and manageable area. On the other side of the border, however, these sacs have spread unchecked into the Seven Castles district, as the Scatimists feel no jurisdiction beyond the borders of Scatoley and the other Brown Pact countries (namely Grobianism, The Urine Woods and Cockaigne). The nature of the "Black Grease", as the corruption is popularly called, has been thoroughly studied, but the scientists who deal with it are still faced with many question marks. Some of the most groundbreaking insights regarding it are that the Black Grease may be some sort of singular living organism, that a forbidden combination of Scatology and Necromancy led to its creation and that contaminated areas should be avoided and refrained from entering at all costs.

### The Gruntlings

The remarkably ugly Gruntlings inhabit some of the hill and mountain regions of Scatoley, where they live in natural cave systems. They are extremely insensitive to odors and don't smell particularly good themselves, allowing them to defy Scatoley's inhospitable fecology. They are distant relatives of the Boglins, although they are significantly dumber and more aggressive. Their main occupation is raiding merchant carriages but they also pass the time with occasional rape and pillaging villages. They smear their rusty weapons with feces, easily found throughout Scatoley, causing life-threatening infections in their victims even if they manage to escape from an ambush. Since they rarely come across human flesh, their main source of food are the giant boars found in Scatoley, which they hunt in groups with slingshots and crude spears.

### The Strange Creatures

The Stinkspitter are creatures with a sack-like leathery skin somewhat reminiscent of large engorged ticks. They reach the size of three horses stacked on top of each other when fully grown and saturated.

The Stinkspitters seem to drink from the springs of black grease, which bloats them and keeps them alive, although these creatures aren't technically alive in the first place. Much like a virus, they appear to be essentially dead matter that only seeks to multiply (how they do so is unknown) and spread the black corruption. Although they move very slowly, they can cover amazing distances and show no signs of fatigue. There are reports that some of them have been sighted on their migration as far away the Realm of Harmony.

When they get far enough away from the Grease Spring they drank from, they emit a foul-smelling black cloud that, like fungal spores, causes the ground they're standing on to become a breeding ground for black grease bubbles. Being close to this process is absolutely fatal as inhaling the miasma causes a terrible disease known as the Brown Plague which is a sickness not unlike the Bubonic Plague except much more disgusting and painfull. However, the deadly and contagious disease appears to be merely a side effect of the Black Grease's process of reproduction and is otherwise unrelated to its spread for as much as is known.

The Scatomancers have figured out an effective method of preventing them from crossing their territory which they keep secret from the rest of the world ~~A Thick Line of Salt~~. Aside from their miasm phase, Stinkspitters are mostly harmless and peaceful (as long as you don't touch them, but why would you want to). They hardly notice their surroundings and appear to have no sense of sight, smell or hearing. Attacking a bloated Stinkspitter is strongly discouraged as it will cause them to explosively release their miasma destroying him instantly and the aggressor aswell but more slowly and painfull.

Just like the Black Grease the Stinkspitters are the result of forbidden alchemical experiments combined with various types of occultism and black magic. Most of the individuals responsible for them have been severely punished or passed away.

The purpose of embracing pollution and degradation through various customs is the realization of non-duality through transcending social taboos, attaining what is essentially an altered state of consciousness and perceiving the illusory nature of all conventional categories. The favored method of doing so is through the performance of ceremonial turd rituals partially obtained from an ancient grimoire, sex magick aswell as practices such as naked dancing around burning dung heaps, eating rotting (human) flesh, bathing in the fetid pools of the Stink Marshes (also naked of course), corprohagy and similiar desensitization exercises. The moral code of "Do What Thou Wilt" is believed by Shit Witches to be their ideologies ethical law. It is their aim to explore and push the boundaries of this formula into the extreme.

To outsiders these women can seem terrifying and almost animalistic in their unruly wild nature, which has made the Stink Marshes an avoided and feared place over the years. Rumor has it that even the most unwashed scatomants do not enter the places where the witches are said to live alone and even a full dozen of them wouldn't set a fingle foot into the Stink Marshes at night.

The Scatomancers regard the Shit Witches as a dangerous cult that has fallen away from the true meaning of scatomancy and has perverted the scatomantic art and reduced it to barbaric absurdity. Their relationship with the witches is characterized by a mixture of paranoid fear and blind aggression, which has already led to women suspected of scatomancy being executed first and found guilty afterwards which doesn't really correspond to the otherwise very thoughtful and academic nature of the brown scholars.

### The Coven of Shit Witches

The Coven of Shit Witches is a communal association of women who, contrary to the laws of Scatoley practice scatomancy despite their female gender thereby actively rebelling against the patriarchy of the brown university. Women are strictly forbidden by the Scatology Statutes to practice scatomancy, and violators face harsh penalties ranging from public flogging to execution by the stake, witch's chair, or other martial instruments of death and torture. Because of these cruel punishments, the Witches of the Scatomantic Coven, as they call themselves, practice their version of scatomantic craft in secret. In addition, their version of scatomancy differs significantly from that of the men and they have even been able to make breakthroughs in some areas that are unknown to the scholars of the brown academy. Female Scatomancy is a mixture of classic scatomancy, occult rituals and black magic. It is less formalistic, objective and theory-heavy, but more practical, intuitive and closer to witchcraft than to an empirical science.The witches follow a crowleyian philosophy (named after the infamous scat witch Alessandra Crowley). This philosophy revolves around the idea that human beings each have their own True Will, that they should discover and pursue, and that this exists in harmony with the Cosmic Will that pervades the universe. This process is referred to as searching and discovery of one's True Will to be "the Great Work" or the attaining of the "knowledge and conversation of the great Mother". Shit Witches are devotees of a dark feminine deity manifested as Livra, and monists who seek emancipation, enlightenment, liberation, and release. This freedom is a realization of the self's identity with the absolute. Because of this monistic doctrine, the Shit Witches maintain that all opposites are ultimately illusory.

## Scatomancy

### History

#### Origin

The practice of using faeces to draw conclusions about a person's state of health is a knowledge that has been passed down through Millenia from generation to generation. The ancient Changri-La did it and many doctors are still doing it today. The interest and preoccupation with excrement and excretion is a normal human predisposition, as it is essential for our survival. We can see this in scatological literature with the trope of the grotesque body being explore from Cerchau to Spearshak, whose works can be found in the Library of Xandrilex, or in the literary genre of *Grobianismus* which was named after the kingdom of the same name.

#### Scatological Alchemy

Dealing with excrement serves both a cultural and a scientific purpose. Certain kinds of magic and alchemy are the closest thing the scholars of Giantstep got to experimental science so far. The discipline of alchemy itself is full of feces. While calculating his expenses, for instance, the famous Alchemist Org Ymer (see Ymer manuscripts), born in the Kingdom of Coins, lists horse manure alongside the various flasks he needs for his tinctures. Dried horse manure is used for heating and in fact cheaper than coal. Fresh manure is also a very useful alchemical material. The alchemist would bury his flask in manure. As the manure decomposes, it gives off a mild, but steady heat, which triggers a reaction within the flask, known as digestion. When the manure begins to cool, the alchemist would simply replace it with a fresh supply. This setup came to be known as a venter equinus (the horse’s bowels).

Alchemy and dung have an even richer relationship. Manure is mixed with crushed clay to make lute (lutum sapientiae), the putty used to seal alchemical vessels. It is also used as an ingredient in medicines. Aracelsus himself (a famous Alchemist from Ouroboria) developed fecal medicines in the early modern period. Although he had a new take on the medicinal uses of shit, Aracelsus was preceded by a medieval tradition of fecal alchemy. Centuries earlier, the alchemist and philosopher Orianus (also born in the Kingdom of Coins) described the starting material of the Philosophers’ Stone as “of cheap price and found everywhere” and “trodden underfoot.” Alchemists took that description literally and used the manure found all over their streets.

#### The Stink-Schism

This got so far that the Great Hierophant himself warned about searching for gold in poo:

* *"Qui quaerit in merdis secreta philosophorum expensis perdit proprias, tempusque laborum"* *("He who seeks the philosophers’ secret in shit will waste his money, time, and labor on it."*

The so-called Brown Alchemists of the Coin Empire, however, refused to heed this warning and continued the alchemical search for wisdom in the excrement. However, due to their stench and feces' bad reputation, they were laughed at and ostracized by their fellow scientists, eventually leading to a scientific schism in the alchemist circles of the Kingdom of Tarot. The scatological alchemists, as they called themselves at the time, were faced with the choice of either renouncing their obsession with feces or leaving the kingdom forever. Historians refer to this ultimatum and the following banishment of the scatologists as the Stink-Schism. A few renounced scatomancy, but the majority, convinced of the magical potency of the dung, decided to leave the confines of the Tarot Kingdom forever. They embarked on a long journey east, finally finding the perfect conditions for the efficient execution of their magical science on the outskirts of the kingdom of Grobianism. They were led on their journey by Heinrich the Tainted, a tall, gaunt man in a dirty robe and a ridiculously high pointed hat. The natural characteristics of the area around Grobianism constituted almost utopian conditions for the outcast alchemists. Nobody wrinkled their noses when they walked around in their brown pointed-hatted robes to collect ingredients. The already excrement-strewn streets of Grobianism were the perfect source of their valuable stinking resource, and the alchemists quickly forged a pact with the nobles of the Grobian family that still stands to this day, to receive seven carriages of excrement each week in exchange for magical protection from evil. The excrement was (and still is) heaped up a steep and extremely unpleasant-smelling mountain, on which the alchemists built their so-called Brown University, which resembles a mighty mud castle with pointed towers and high battlements. To distinguish themselves from the hated Alchemists of the Tarot, who dared to banish them, they dropped the designation "alchemists" forever and from that day on demanded to be called The Circle of Scatomancers. They also chose their own spiritual leader in spiteful imitation of the Hierophant of the Tarot Kingdom. The choice fell on Heinrich the Tainted. They gave him the title of Miasmic Pope and Heinrich the tainted became Heinlauf the First. He has now reached the proud age of three hundred and thirty-three years and lives in the highest tower of the Brown Academy.

### Revised History

The practice of using excrement as an element for the mystical and the occult has existed for millennia. Often the remit of primitive witch-doctors or crazed witches, the study has been seen for millennia as something long surpassed, both due to its unclean and unsightly nature and due to the advancement of the more scientific methods of magic and alchemy. Even as a purely medical affair, the study of feces to know the health of an individual is seen as something unappealing even by the doctors who practice it.

Likewise, the presence of dung and other similar secretions had been present in some alchemical treaties and traditions, such as the works of alchemists such as Cerchau or Spearshak, mystics whose body of work was shunned back in the day but are now vindicated by the modern scatomancers. However, it would be at the beginning of the 26th century ABE where the alchemical interest around manure would grow into levels that would worry the intellectual circles.

Around the late 25th century ABE, a series of kingdoms near the Labyrinth Bay began unifying. The political and military campaign of Zaccariah Oddo of Ouroboria began creating the Kingdom of Tarot, bringing unity to an area intellectually fertile but politically divided. He did so by taking advantage of the growing interest and advancements around alchemy in the region, using Eliphas Ensatti’s “Four Elemental Principles” as both a religious reform and to give his growing court an aura of wisdom needed to cement his authority. However, with that reformative push also came growing restrictions in the matters and ways one could research: with the final unification in 2.521 ABE and the formation of the four kingdoms, the study of alchemy began becoming a more academic matter, which left many alchemists frustrated with the current state of affairs. In general, the near majority of these groups accepted the new measures, both as a way to ingratiate themselves with the new tarotian authorities and to avoid becoming an outcast. Those few who did not accepted the rules were often ridiculed or discriminated against, with many of them ending up as rogue alchemists and having to hide in the criminal underworld.

However, out of all the groups that appeared at the edges of the tarotian alchemical society, there was a particular group that gained a special mockery and scorn from the population: the scatomancers. There is a debate whether the movement was already growing before the unification of the kingdom or if it began as a way to protest the more restrictive rules to alchemical studies, but whatever the case, it began picking up steam about right about this time. At first, it was seen as a joke, and thus was initially left alone by the tarotian authorities. However, while it never truly gained influence within the highest alchemical circles of the kingdom, it began gaining a following within certain groups, especially within the Kingdom of Coins, and even some alchemists of certain repute flocked to the scatomancers. Examples such as Org Ymer, an alchemist well known for his effective and innovative alchemical concoctions, explained in the Ymir’s Manuscripts, joining the scatomancers, resulted in both the public and the authorities growing more and more weary of these radical alchemists, and thus the persecution against them grew.

However, despite this growing pressure, the scatomancers’ followers continued increasing, many of them coming from the ranks of the down, the downtrodden and those alchemists secluded in rural areas. This resulted in the “**Scandal of Orianus**”, where many scatomancers, following the works of alchemist and philosopher Orianus, took his description of the starting material of the Philosopher’s Stone (“of cheap price and found everywhere” and “trodden underfoot.”) literally, using the manure found all over their streets in public alchemical events.

In the year 2.551, the Great Hierophant of Ouroboria called to his court the most well known of the scatomancers, and in a public court, fully condemned the scatomancers and their teachings as contrary to the health of the Kingdom of Tarot and to the alchemical discipline in general. He then condemned all those who practiced scatomancy to exile outside of the kingdom, but also offered them a pardon if they publicly rejected their scatomantic beliefs. When none of the present scatomancers rejected their beliefs, the Great Hierophant proclaimed “He who seeks the philosophers’ secret in shit will waste his money, time, and labor on it.", effectively beginning the event named by the scatomancers as the **Stink-Schism**. While some did accept the High Hierophant’s offer and rejected scatomancy, the great majority chose to leave the kingdom forever.

They embarked on a long journey to the east, finally finding the perfect conditions for the efficient execution of their alchemical science on the outskirts of the kingdom of Grobianismus. They were led on their journey by Heinrich the Tainted, a tall, gaunt man in a dirty robe and a ridiculously high pointed hat. The natural characteristics of the area around Grobianismus constituted almost utopian conditions for the outcast alchemists. Nobody wrinkled their noses when they walked around in their brown pointed-hatted robes to collect ingredients, as the lands of Grobianismus had resulted corrupted and twisted by the Curse of Uun, and a sighting such as the scatomancer was if anything a glimpse of reason and civilization. The already excrement-strewn streets of Grobianism were the perfect source of their valuable stinking resource, and the alchemists quickly forged a pact with the nobles of the Grobian family that still stands to this day, to receive seven carriages of excrement each week in exchange for magical protection from evil.

The Scatomancers finally settled down in the southern lands of Grobianismus, where they founded both the nation of Scatoley and the Circle of Scatological Wizards, or Circle of Scatomancers. To distinguish themselves from the hated Alchemists of the Tarot, who dared to banish them, they dropped the designation "alchemists" forever and from that day on demanded to be called The Circle of Scatomancers. They also chose their own spiritual leader in spiteful imitation of the Hierophant of the Tarot Kingdom. The choice fell on Heinrich the Tainted. They gave him the title of Miasmic Pope and Heinrich the tainted became Heinlauf the First.

## The Brown University

The Brown Academy, also known as Bowelstrang, is a majestic foul smelling structure in the heart of Excrementum (the muddy patch of land below Grobianism). The excrement, which the Scatomancers regularly receive from the nobles of those from Grobian as a payment in gratitude for their protection, is used to enlarge the artificially heaped up mountain called Stools Peak on which the structure stands, thereby continuously elevating the Academy.

Bowelstrang is at the same time a city, a fortress and a university for those who want to learn the secrets of the Brown Arts. Most of the residents and students of Bowelstrang are the loner and conspiratory scatomancers but there are a few exceptions like the caretaker Arseol Nilch who has no scatomantic powers whatsoever and just appreciates the ambiance. Also among the ranks of professors are a Boarling called Ugresh Nibble, a waist high Kotelf called Ulf the Unclean and an intelligent demi-ogre called Johann von Sophomor.

In order to be able to study at the Brown University, a student must have completed the 66th year of life and already gained considerable experience and knowledge in the field of scatology in self-taught studies. There were a few exceptions where gifted students under the legal age were accepted, but these cases can be counted on one hand.

In addition, only men are admitted to study at Brown University, without exception, since the Scatomancers believe that women at university only provide distraction from the studies, entice students to break the mandatory celibacy and cannot attain the mental maturity to get the advanced fundamental philosophical insights of scatomancy anyway. Few women have complained about this recruitment policy so far.

To study in Bowelstrang you have to live there aswell. Currently there are about 700 students studying at Bowelstrang. Admission to the Academy is selective, in that alchemists who show great scatomantic ability will automatically gain a place. Males without a deep enough understanding of the Brown Arts cannot attend the university as students though they can work there in other roles. An echanted chamber pot at Bowelstrang detects when a male reaches scatological enlightenment and smears their names onto a large stonewall in the academy's entrance. There is also an admission test but only few pass it since the chamber pot rarely makes mistakes. If one does pass it however he'll get added to the wall of eternal stench aswell. Every year, the headmaster checks the wall and sends a carrier percher with a letter of acceptance to the prospective students. The letter also contains a list of supplies like scatomantic literature, a retort, a cauldron, a staff and other things that the scholar will need. The iconic tall pointed hat and the brown robes are given to the student after the initiation ritual of the school. Scatomancers take great pride in being allowed to wear them and unauthorized people who dare to put on this uniform will be severely punished. Each student is allowed to bring a pig, a toad, a newt, or a snake.

The crest of Bowelstrang features the four courts heraldic animals aswell as the universities motto which, like a vow or creed, must be recited by every new student and magically binds them to the academy and fellow court brethren. The vow goes as follows:

*"Quum saturi ventris collecta saburra cloacam*

*Praecipitante mora, visere forte jubet:*

*Cum nisu volvis lacerorum frusta librorum,*

*Nempe legendo cacas, atque cacando legis.*

*Quantus amor studii! museum est ipsa latrina:*

*Dum legis et pedis, doctor inde redis."*

Which can be roughly translated to: "When the satiated body's accumulated ballast commands the cloaca to be visited at a sudden moment by chance, / When you leaf through single sheets of tattered books under tension, then you poop while reading and read while pooping. / What a great love for studying! A place of muses is even your latrine. By reading and farting, you come back from there as a scholar."

### The Four Courts

The Brown University was founded a long time ago, shortly after the stink Schism (a paradigm shift in scatological alchemy) by the founding fathers:

1. Heinrich the Tainted
2. Friedrich the Flatulent
3. Hanswurst Eulenstool
4. Nicholas Night Soil

Bowelstrang is divided into four courts, each bearing a variant of the last name or title of its founder:

1. Taint (Heinrich the Tainted)
2. Flatuleth (Friedrich the Flatulent)
3. Eulstool (Hanswurst Eulenstool)
4. Nightsoil (Nicholas Nightsoil)

The shade of brown on the students' hats and robes varies based on their particular court. Taint's robes are medium brown, Flatuleth's are grey-brown, Eulstool's are chestnut-brown, and Nightsoil's are dark brown.

Throughout each semester which lasts seven years, the courts compete against each other in study, alchemical inventions and practical arts, gaining and losing points based on actions such as major scatological breakthroughs, impressive performances and rule violations. The court points are displayed in large glass tubes using turds of different colors. The court with the highest score has its shade of brown displayed in the Great Hall of Scatology for the following seven years year. These two competitions sometimes lead to rivalries between the courts. Courts at Bowelstrang are living and learning communities for their students. Each court is under the authority of one of the staff members. The heads of the courts, as they are called, are in charge of giving their students important information, dealing with matters of severe punishment, and responding to emergencies in their courts, among other things. The dormitory and study of a court are inaccessible to students belonging to other courts; however, different courts will share lectures and lessons.

#### Court Taint

Heinrich the Tainted valued justice, hard work, seeking wisdom and enlightenment. His emblematic animal is the boar after his loyal boar Saulus that led him and the other exiled Scatomancers into the foreign land of Excrementum. Taint's heraldry is a Skin colored pig on medium brown background. Its robe and hat colors are medium brown. Richard Rimschlamm (subject Coprology) is the current senior professor of the court. The Taint Study room is located in one of the highest towers called "the golden tower", which is a pretty misleading name since it's the same turd brown color as all the other towers in the academy. The entrance of the Taint dormitory and study room is situated on the thirteenth floor in the east wing and guarded by two knight-sized Excrement Golems armed with halberds. They permit entrance if given the correct password, which is changed numerous times throughout the semester. Scholars of court Taint are known for being both wise and brave in battle although they seek combative clashes for defensive purposes only and see violence as a last resort.

#### Court Flatuleth

Friedrich the Flatulent valued secrecy, stealth, quick-wittedness, diligence and perfection. His emblematic animal is the fly. He coined the common phrase, "attracted to books like flies to shit". Flatuleth's heraldry is a beige colored fly on gray-brown background. Its robe and hat colors are gray-brown.Franz Furzenwind (subject Miasmatics) is the current senior professor of the court. The Flatuleth Study room is located next to the great Library of Fetid Wisdom. The entrance of the Taint dormitory and study room is hidden behind an enchanted bookshelf. To enter you have to draw out a specific scatological book. Which book triggers the mechanism changes regularly. Scholars of court Taint are known for being clever and snooty. They are known for appearing seemingly from thin air as soon as someone talks about them behind their back, often startling those around them. Court Flatuleth has produced some of the most powerful scatomancer and a surprising number of the court's scholars have mastered the skill of fartsformation, which allows them to volatize into a fetid gas and fly around as a brown cloud.

#### Court Eulstool

Hanswurst Eulenstool was a jester at the court of the Coin Kingdom before he began studying alchemy and became a very gifted Scatomancer later on. He valued creativity, humor, camaraderie and pulling pranks. His emblematic animal is the toad. It was his favorite animal because of the funny noise they make when you step on them. Eulstool's robe and hat colors are chestnut-brown.Gunther Güllenbach (subject Fecology) is the current senior professor of the court. The Eulstool Study room and dormitory is located behind the pigsty and under the universities kitchen. To enter the dormitory you have to fart very loud in order for a secret trapdoor in the pigsty to open. Scholars of court Eulstoolare a fun bunch and make good friends if you get to know them. They tend to tell dirty jokes, burp and fart loudly and are very fond of the alcohol that they brew in the university basements. Surprisingly, their mud beer tastes neither of pee nor of faeces and is unironically one of the best beers on the continent.They know how to raise cattle and like to joke about the other courts, which they deride as geeks and bores. The times that court Eulstool has achieved the highest number of semester points can be counted on one hand. Despite their somewhat rough appearance, they are extremely street smart and should not be underestimated.

#### Court Nightsoil

Nicholas Nightsoil was was one of the most evil scatomacers that ever lived. He killed for pleasure and believed that all non-scatomancers had no right to exist on Giantstep. He had a special hatred for the alchemists of the Tarot Kingdom, whom he wanted to eradicate one day through a scatomantic ruse. He valued elitism, cunningness, coldheartedness and cruelty. His emblematic animal is the dung beetle. As a symbol of death, these animals fascinated him, as did everything to do with death, dying or suffering. Despite his misanthropic attitude, he was respected and feared by his fellow scatomancers because he possessed immeasurable and terrible powers that few scholars of scatomancy have ever matched or even surpassed. He developed the art of Nightsoiling, which proved to be one of the most terrifying but also most useful Scatomantic abilities when it came to subduing enemies or fighting back against enraged crowds due to the infamous reputation Scatomancers had and still have. Ichabod Igittars (subject Nightsoiling) is the current senior professor of the court. The Nightsoil Study room and dormitory is located deep in the dungeons of the university to open the vault-like stone manhole cover that closes off their cold dripping dormitory you have to kill one of the rats which are plentiful down there and place the lifeless rat body in a designated indentation in the heavy stone door in which occult runes are carved. Scholars of court Nightsoil are serious figures who always appear as if they are up to something. The dark robes, pale skin and bloodshot eyes taht seem to be inherent in them only add to this first impression. Nightsoil has spawned some of the most fearsome scatomancers, and is particularly notorious for its combat scatomancy through mastery of both dungbending and nightsoiling alike.

### The Sorting Ceremony

    The Sorting Ceremony is a ritual performed every seventh year at the beginning of each semester at Bowelstrang. The Sorting is held in the Great Hall of Scatology, after the new scholars have arrived at the brown academy, often after going on a long, arduous and dangerous pilgrimage to reach it, which is considered part of the entrance qualification. The ceremony's purpose is to assign new students to one of the four university courts: Taint, Flatuleth, Eulstool, or Nightsoil.

The ones that made it this far have the honor of taking a seat on the sorting stool created by Heinrich the Tainted. This holy relic is an enchanted portable close stool, made in the shape of a cabinet at sitting height with an opening in the top. The external structure contains a pewter chamberpot to receive the user's excrement and urine, and the foot ends of the stool are carved in the shape of pigs' hooves. Heinrich's close stool is usually located in the headmaster's tower room during term and is placed in the center of the Great Hall of Scatology for the sorting ceremony

Under the gaze of his future fellow students, the novice pulls down his trousers and relieves himself, after a prescribed week in which he was forbidden to do so, into the magical close stool. Based on the excrement, the stool now determines the personality, abilities and ambitions of the soon to be scatomancer in a secret and mysterious way. After a while the stool lets smoke in the brown tone of the respective court rise from under the student's buttocks, which determines his future affiliation within the academy.

## Scatomantic Subjects

While the Scatomancers have not yet succeeded in creating the legendary Philosopher's Stone, history has proven them right to some extent, as they have made some major breakthroughs in the field of Scatomancy, so impressive that some of them even seem to blur the boundaries of alchemy and magic. Most of these abilities and achievements, whose secrets the Scatomancers meticulously guard can be learned by the students. There are a variety of scatomantic subjects taught at the Brown University known as Bowelstrang. These include the core curriculum and the electives for advanced scholars of scatomancy. The Core Curriculum includes the following:

### Excrementalism

    The alchemical art of creating life from excrement. Excrementalists specialize in creating so-called Excrementals, which are also referred to as Poomunculi or Excrement Golems, depending on their size. Although these animated fecal beings are capable of independent action and thought, most of them are of very low intelligence and depend on the orders of their creators for more complex tasks. Excrementals are used by Scatomancers to perform heavy physical work, such as carrying crates of tomes or constructing structures. Also, Excrementals are Bowelstrang's main line of defense, along with some mercenary Pigorcs who don't seem to mind the stench.

### Coprology

The scientific study of excrement, especially from a biological, divining and medical point of view. The coprological examination gives information about possible diseases and the health status of a person, for example in medicine, especially in parasitology. Advances in medical coprology allow scatomancers to live for many hundreds of years despite their unsanitary environment. In addition, skilled coprologists can predict signs and divinations from excrement or use a person's excrement to magically find out their current whereabouts. The diviner path within coprology makes it possible for some particularly gifted individuals to even peer through a puddle of diarrhea to a distant place and see a moving visual projection of the creator and his surroundings.

### Turdsformation

The powerful ability of transforming any organic and non-organic matter into excrement. Transforming dead matter like rocks into excrement is a skill all Scatomancers have mastered. At the next level is the transformation of plants or fungi and finally the transformation of breathing creatures such as animals or humans into excrement, which only the most gifted scholars can attain. During the transformation process, a distinction is made between an absorbing transformation, in which life energy is absorbed by the user, and the reversible transformation, which is one of the most difficult transformations in which no nutrients are absorbed and the transformed object or living being can be transformed back to its original state. The hardest transformations a scatomancer can learn are the autotransmutations. In these the user temporarily transforms into an agile puddle of diarrhea, for example to slip through a drain or a small opening, a cloud of fetid gas (known as fartsformation) in order to diffuses to high places, or into an animated mass of hardened feces that is almost impervious to arrows and swords, in order to counter enemies in physical combat.

### Dungsculpting

Refers to the ability to move masses of faeces by an invisible hand and solidify them into a hard mass. This ability allows Scatomancers to create stable structures, corridors, defenses, or even furniture from feces. While dung sculpting requires a great deal of time and concentration and is therefore not suitable for combat use, there are some gifted scatomancers who rise to the rank of dungbender. In contrast to dunsculpting, where the excrement moves sluggishly like an inert viscous mass, dungbenders can move the feces at high speeds, whirling single chunks or long turds through the air as if they were weightless and fluid. They can launch dangerous balls of hardened feces through the air, cause walls of feces to suddenly shoot out of the ground in their defense, or shoot fountains of feces at enemies with extremely high pressure to bring them to their knees. Dungbending aswell as Dungsculpting equires an environment in which there are enough feces to utilize for its purposes, which is why it is extremely dangerous to anger a dungbender in places like Exkrementum or Grobianism.

### Miasmatics

The production of unimaginable stench. The ability to stink the air is used by Scatomancers to ward off threats. However, more advanced forms can also be used to faint enemies. The gifted Miasmatician Godric the Gassy is said to have been able to create such a horrid stench that hordes of enemies fled, dozens of them dying of choking and lack of oxygen while fleeing. The methane and ammonia gases that are generated within the Mismatics profession can be directed by the user and sometimes sent over long distances, which can lead to herds of cattle dying and fields withering along the way of the stink cloud.

### Guanology

Guanology, also known as land enriching, is one of the many branches of scatomancy, and probably the most accepted of them outside of their own order. It was originated after some scatomancers began studying all non-alchemical and magical uses of manure, in the hopes of discovering the many principes of the matter. They quickly realised that the farmers used the excrement from their animals to enrich the land, with different degrees of success. The study of the effects of different kinds of animal manure over diferent kinds of land throughout many years quickly became a massive field of study, and a relatively easy one. Master scatomancers will force their students to work in farms for years, not only to create an appreciation for the matter they need to work with, but also to analyse the effects of excrement on the land, as both a scientific and a philosophical exercise. The effects of guanology over the land is greatly appreciated in those regions where they offer their services. Services which, in fact, are pretty cheap in relation to other branches of alchemy. Since guanology is a very basic branch of the alchemical school, many dropouts will have enough knowledge of the matter to be useful for ample swathes of the population, and thus even poor farmers will be able to join together and pay a dropout scatomancer to help them with their crops for at least one season. Overuse of guanological techniques is widely rejected, since it tends to burn out the land for many years if abused. In recent years, many scatomancers have been hired by the Kingdom of Drunigzar, attracted by the agricultural research projects of Jus I the Wise to enrich the notoriously barren lands of Drunigzar.

### Coprophagy

Is the consumption of feces, either literally or by invisible scatomantic action at a distance. No biological metabolism is able to extract all the nutrients from the faeces and there are always some residues left in the droppings. The coprophagists among the scatomancers use this residual energy to absorb the life-giving energy of the feces. In this way, some of Bowelstrang's students have been able to develop tremendously strong immune systems and are immune to most toxins, parasites and diseases. In addition, this full recovery contributes to an extended life if used correctly. Coprophagy is a Dangerous Discipline because if the executing Scatomancer, especially beginners with weak self-healing powers, does not succeed in filtering out the dangerous toxins in an alchemical way, illness or even death can result. A distinction is made between heterospecific coprophagy (cunsuming feces of other species), allocoprophagy (consuming feces from other humans) and autocoprophagy (the complete utilization of one's own feces or food). The so-called dark allocoprophagy refers to the practice of withdrawing the nutrients from the feces within the intestines of another person in order to heal oneself, whereby parasitically a sometimes considerable part of its nutrients is stolen, resulting in the victim, deficiency symptoms, insatiable feelings of hunger and, with long-term use, death may result.

### Fecology

Studies regarding the biology and fecal droppings of various diferent animal species. Fecologists mostly evaluate the quality odor and scatological properties of animal dung. Different types of animal droppings can be used for different alchemical recipes, rituals and substances.This subject also includes the care, domestication and reproduction of certain animal species that are particularly well suited for scatomancy. The giant pigs that live in the area around Brown University, for example, have proven to be particularly suitable for dung production, as their droppings can be used in a wide variety of alchemical ways and are rich of nutrients. In addition, talented fecologists at the university managed to train these wild boars as useful mounts, which are used, among other things, for pulling heavy, fully loaded dung carts through the tough mud. Another species of particular interest to Fecologists include the cow-sized Dung Beetles which live in the dung hills east of the University and display amazing abilities at rolling and sclupting massive balls of feces which can be used by dungbenders as dangerous wall-crushing projectiles. Some Fecologists speculate as to whether these beetles themselves use specific skatomantic spells related to dung sculpting in the construction of their intricate nests and tunnel systems.The wild tapeworms of the cloaca swamps are also of interest to fecologists because, like scatomancers themselves, they engage in coprophagy in order to gain life energy, to reach a considerable size and to extend their lifespan. Fecologists secretly delving into the science of urinomancy, universally frowned upon among scatomancers, have managed to breed a dog-sized species of toad that changes color from a murky transclucent-white to a sulphuric-yellow when a pregnant woman urinates on it, effectively creating the first pregnancy test of giantstep. Quite a few Scatomantic inventions are originally based on the imitation of animal behavior.

### Filth Brewing

Is the practice of mixing different types of manue with alchemical ingredients to create powerful potions, poisons and alchemical tinctures. This scatomantic profession is arguably the closest thing to alchemy from which scatomancy originally arose and which is now so despised by its practitioners. One promises that such a scatomant tincture, which is brewed in the deepest cellars of the Brown University, will one day distill the philosopher's stone, the magnum opus, the ultimate goal of every scatomant and alchemist. The finished sludgy concoctions resulting from filth brewing experiments are stored, like liquors, in large wax-sealed wooden casks in the cool cellars of the academy. A completely out of control potion that gushed uncontrollably from it's cauldron for months and was mixed by a scatomancer exploring the Witch Bogs is responsible for the northernmost part of the swamps being called the Bog of Eternal Stench today.

### Nightsoiling

Known as the darkest of the scatomantic arts. It is named after its inventor, Nicholas Nightsoil, a particularly sinister and misanthropic scatomancer with a terrible bitter hatred of all living things, especially those crooked alchemists of the tarot realm. Nightsoiling (or "stoolsoiling") is the ability to poison the excrement within a living being's intestines through thin air, causing the victim to experience severe abdominal cramps and terrible internal pain. It is used to torture victims or to execute them in particularly gruesome ways Techniques also attributed to stoolsoiling include creating an irreversible obstruction that seals the victim's ass rosette and infecting an enemy's intestinal tract with particularly vicious, voracious tapeworms which, after all the feces have been consumed, proceed to eat the host's flesh.

## Smutling

Near the university is a village called Smutling, which sells all kinds of scatomantic supplies and other alchemical goods. The residents are mostly students who have been rejected or expelled from the academy, as well as small kotelves who benefit from the scatomancers' demand for occult writings, reagents, and instruments.

## Foreign Relations

Relations between the **Scatomancers** and the Urinomancers are strained, despite suffering a a similar fate, but not overtly hostile. Due to the stigmatization of both disciplines and content overlaps, which are sometimes larger than both circles would ever admit, there is a certain mutual acceptance and tolerance. The contempt they feel when they talk about the other faction is purely scientific in nature, since both believe the other circle is on the completely wrong track and believe themselves to be on the verge of creating the Philosopher's Stone. The **Scatomancers** disparagingly refer to the Urinomancers as "Piss Wizards" while the Urinomancers contemptuously refer to the Scatomancers as "Shit Wizards". There is a non-aggression pact between the two alchemist circles of urine and scat and an agreement to come to each other's aid in times of need, despite the fundamental academic differences.

The superstitious nobles of Grobian have made a pact with the Scatomancers that the sorcerers would keep the sinister creatures coming from the Land of Kokaine (resulting from the Lubbertdas Plague) off their backs in exchange for regular deliveries of fully loaded excrement carts. To this end, the Scatomancers, using the skatomantic discipline of dung sculpting, have erected a high wall along the southern and western border of Kokaine with countless watchtowers, ever-burning braziers and thousands of boiling tar kettles. Dubbed the Great Dungwall, this massive structure is patrolled day and night by grobianist' crossbowmen armed with fire arrows, mercenarie pig orcs, and some of the most powerful skatomancers the brown academy has to offer.

## Notorious Scatomancers

### Sur(sic) Schittenfart

is a prominent Scatologist. He was exiled from the Isle of Wizards many bowel movements ago, for casting poop duplication spells on the insides of his colleagues, thereby filling them with even more shit. Unbeknownst to them, this was because his training was not complete, and his gift, left unmastered, remained a danger for those around him, far after his exile. Arriving in the Circle of Scatology Wizards, he found a home amongst those blessed, or some would say *cursed* with similar powers. He hopes for an era of the world in which poop becomes the sustaining force of the world, if only so his powers become a thing of beauty, rather than fear.

### Arnaldo Pissenschitt

is a native of these lands. He was born in the Urine Woods and raised by the Circle of Urinomancers. Despite not being born with the gift, he quickly mastered the arts of peebending. For this, he is somewhat of an outcast, being a urinomancy expert first and foreskinmost. His attempts to mix peebending with scatological magic have resulted in countless academic disciplinary penalties and disasters, both for the plumbing systems of nations world-round and for the little respect mages had for the Excretory Arts in general.