Interviews with our Local Maniac

The Interviews are a series of short discussions between Worm and Leo in between chapters.

## Interview with our Local Maniac (Regarding Carl Fucking Him)

W: How do you feel about that?

L: My ass still hurts.

W: rip turtles have giant dongs don't you know that

L: and how would you know that?

W: was researching reptile genitalia and stuff, found out all about hemipenes and scary turtle dicks

L: \*shooketh\*

W: go into incognito and search it up

L: i did

W: wait really-

L: I would put an image here but i don't wanna get reported to peta

W: i would put an video but i don't wanna reawaken leos ptsd and it’s also pretty nsfw

\*some crap about formatting later\*

W: what did we do, everyone is googling “turtle penises” and getting traumatized

L: haha yes fools get ptsd

W: oh fuck the doc is gon

## Another Interview with our (Dead) Local Maniac

W: HEY LEO ARE YOU IN PRISON (Before you died)

L: Yes im in jail :(

W: rip how is it

L: \*was, worm, WAS. im now dead, please use the proper tense

W: thanks Leo, how \*WAS jail?

L: Do I get paid for saying good stuff about Happy Jail?

W: Perhaps. You’re already being paid for this interview so I guess? Damn, I didn’t know they held you in Happy Jail. You must’ve been pretty horny. So, did you go to Happy Jail from the beginning for committing Pen, or were you transferred there from normal jail because your horny crimes overrode the other crimes?

L: I don't know, i never asked, all i knew is that i got transferred.

W: from normal jail?

L: I think im technically in both, for committing pen and for crimes against humanity

R. Interesting. Was it nice in Happy Jail? Sandy and Granny didn’t have a nice cell, but they were only temporary residents. As a permanent prisoner, how was life?

L: boring. Mind numbingly boring. But nice, in a boring kind of way.

W: Ah, i see.

L: theres this nice gym with weight racks and crap, I use that a lot, because there's nothing else.

Flashback of earlier interview

W: how did you react when you learned they were going to execute you?

L: \*frowns\* I’m getting executed? Shouldn’t I get a trial first? I haven't had a trial yet. They just locked me up here :(

L: I think im going insane. I keep getting these weird nightmares about a bomb dropping on a white house

W:That’s ominous

L: It’s almost as if I'm seeing the future! Anyway, when’s my trial?

W: Last Tuesday. They couldn’t wake you up. Pen ended up filling in for you but ended up saying everything terrible you did. Snake and Pcab won. It definitely wasn’t a fair trial.

L: I demand a new trial (can I do that?)

W: Probably not you can try tho

L: Whatever, I’ll just escape so I can kill carl, and laugh while burning his ashes, turn his ashes into a cake, then drown swhite and turn his body into a smoothie.

W: Damn that’s penky.

L: \*pokes worm with the pen that's been up my ass\*

W: \*literally dies\*

L: \*laughs as worms body is carried out\*

W: \*wakes up and stabs Leo with pen point\*

L: PeNkY

W: what have we done.

L: idk lets just end this interview and go back to the present

present day, lw is dead crab rave

W: hello idk

L: yes helo uh what was the previous topic

W: we were talking about happy jail and their gym and things

L: oh right, i was in jail

W: were you “happy” in happy jail

L: happy? No. “Happy”? Also no.

W: sad

L: the name was false advertising

W: happy is horny

L: i know im not stupid just idiotic

W: how was food

L: better than mcsandys, worse than gourmet

L: fishk im coughing im dying

W: \*silence\*

L: \*coughs\* ah jeez, hopefully i haven't been infected \*laughs awkwardly\*

W: …

W: but you died

L: yes. But ghosts can get infected

W: cool i guess, do you need medical attention

L: nah im already dead cant be dead any deader