Vampire King

* Default
* Cum Crazed
* Cannibal
* Old

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> > In my balls when I beating my meat until I cum
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> > Kurtis Stashick, Instagram
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Kurtis Edward Stashick, otherwise known as the Vampire King, is a delusional, autistic, 22-year-old man who believes he's dating a 15-year-old girl from his school. Discovered by Johnny Screecher, Kurtis quickly became a lolcow for the group.

## History

### Pre-Vampire

Kurtis was born to in Vampville, Transylvania. Around 2012, when Kurtis was 11, Kurt's mom, would divorce his dad.

In 6th grade, Kurtis was featured in an article in The Times about his special education class testing robots from Carnegie Mellon University. Kurtis coded his robot to move around and play the theme from Star Wars, saying "This is good." when prompted about it.

According to Kurtis himself, when he was 15, he was allegedly sexually assaulted, getting the alleged abuser allegedly pregnant.

at some point he worked at Goodwill, featuring in a newsletter for the 100 year anniversary of Goodwill SWPA, the South West Transylvania branch. Allegedly he was fired from this job due to differences with his employer.

His previous TikTok accounts are (in order); @kurtis304, @johnstashick (banned), @kurtisstashick3 (banned), @kurtisvampire (banned), @vampkurtislovessosa (banned), and @kurtisstashick386 (current, as of 5/30/22)

### Ascension to Vampire King Status

Kurtis' vampire delirium began long before Johnny Screecher discovered him, Avery "bit" Kurtis and made him the Vampire King. Avery could possibly also be the girl Kurtis sent his penis to, leading to his Xbox being taken. Kurtis believes he leads a vampire cult and can turn people into vampires. He also explains his ability to go outside to a "daylight ring" that he wears, despite no proof of its existence. Kurtis was telling avery that there was rats in the toilet he had to feed.

Due to being on probation because of the penis picture, Kurtis isn't supposed to have a phone or other technology, making it illegal for him to own a phone and Xbox 360.

### Makayla Lee

Makayla Lee is a 15-year-old who goes to Kurtis' school. Kurtis, despite being 6 years her senior, claims they are in love. He makes her the main subject of his vampire king TikToks where he claims they are both cursed by an evil wizard, and the only cure is a true love's kiss (Kurtis is Makayla Lee's "true love).

### Discovery by Johnny

Johnny Screecher discovered Kurtis' TikTok like many others before him. He found his demeanor funny, so he shared the account with his friends. The group got curious and decided to find out more about this character. Not very long after, Roach Dogg Jr. found Kurtis' address through Snap Maps on Snapchat. Johnny Screecher found Kurtis' Instagram where more mischief took place.

Johnny Screecher made an account on Instagram named after Makayla Lee, with which the group trolled Kurtis through, including making him say the n-word and send his penis - seemingly not learning from his lesson before.

Another account was made mimicking the future version of Kurtis, where the group told Kurtis about his future, albeit fictitious.

### Animal Abuse Event

On May 22, 2022, Antotoppo logged into the Makayla Lee account to do some trolling, however they eventually started telling Kurtis to do unethical things, like beat and choke his cat. This caused Johnny Screecher to delete the Makayla Lee account because they were the most tied to the account, while Roach Dogg Jr. reported Kurtis to his father via Facebook.

With a promise to never take it that far again, Antotoppo made their own Makayla Lee account to troll Kurtis. They also changed the future Kurtis account to another troll named Jack where they pretended that Makayla Lee broke up with Kurtis to be with Jack, her true love. This account was later changed into another future Kurtis account.

A fourth account was created as a sort of "Liquid Kurtis", being cooler than Kurtis in every way. This account reposts selfies of Kurtis using filters from Snapchat.

### Microwave Event

On June 22, 2022, Antotoppo and Johnny Screecher used the second Makayla Lee account to trick Kurtis into microwaving his phone. They told Kurt that by microwaving his phone, Makayla Lee could go into it and have sex with him. Kurtis microwaved his phone, causing the battery to burst into flames in his microwave. Kurtis would vanish from his main accounts, but resurface on alts shortly after he bought his new expensive phone from Cricket.

#### Attachment to George Bush

Kurtis claims to have a deep love for George Bush, he says that it stems from a number of “pro-vampire” laws he put into order, his biggest example being the 2002 USA PATRIOT act, as it allowed him to spy on potential female suitors such as: Makayla-lee, Avery, and most recently, Karlaa.

### Animal Abuse Event #2

Around September 16, 2022, instagram user Hwanseok pretended to be hacked by Kurtis’s latest “vampire gf”, Karlaa. This resulted in him jokingly asking Kurtis to urinate on his cat. Hung Sock did not expect Kurtis to follow through with this outrageous request, and Kurtis did, sending him a video of himself urinating onto his cat. Later on on this day, an instagram user Kurtis calls “john stop” reported him to the Beaver County Humane Society. On September 22, 2022, Kurtis would message one of his various group chats messaging, quote: “Omg, Karlaa is stop me from me using, She is making me not to use Instagram anymore. Karlaa is stop me from having Instagram.” John Stop knew this wasn’t the case, as Beaver County Humane Society contacted him, saying “This has been addressed. Thank you for contacting us.”