Poap

A Poap is an appointed ruler of the city of Mudgement. Two Poaps typically exist at once, and alternately pace the city in one revolution every day. When one of the Poaps passes the Northeastern Moose Margaret Temple, clock tower bells sound. Because the Poaps use a different route to circumnavigate the city every day, this is absolutely not an effective way to keep time.

The mums of Mudgement are charged with keeping track of the Poaps and interpreting their laws, which are often shouted randomly at passersby or scribbled onto hanging pieces of smoked fish. The mums often have differing interpretations of particular laws, and have in the past favored utterances from one of the two Poaps. They have always somehow managed to avoid schisms over these disagreements, but infighting has been tragic in the past, at one point leading to the Nun War of 143.

## Appointment

Poaps are appointed in a ceremony known as papagenesis, in which the person selected to be the next poap (termed the antepoap) is fully submerged in a vat of ice-cold watered-down clam chowder for one whole minute. In this brief period the antepoap is visited by visions of chairs being put into wood chippers. Since woodchippers and chairs as we know them are wholly unknown to the people of Mudgement, these visions are often what catalyzes the antepoap's descent into Poaphood.

New Poaps are appointed by one of two assemblies of cardinals, one of which elects Poaps every 13 years, the other of which elects Poaps every 17 years. This irregularity is thought to ensure that Mar Stargaret's animals do not remember to interrupt the appointment ceremony. A major source of confusion among the citizens of Mudgement is that there are 13- and 17-year Poaps whose reigns overlap and are constantly arguing with each other - the current Poaps of Mudgement are Poap Slape XVIII and Poap Dunch II. The laws in the city are thus highly unstable and difficult to enforce and follow.

Every 221 years, the time comes to appoint two Poaps at the same time. These events are known as Conflungeances, and make Mudgement particularly vulnerable to attacks by kinky fauna. The most recent Conflungeance (known as the Great Squank) resulted in 420.69 deaths when a horde of mingrels and hendrengeamunkets destroyed the neighborhood of Damselgopp.

Soon after papagenesis, the Poap begins to secrete a substance known as papacin from his salivary and sweat glands. Papacin can be used for secret rituals, casting spells, and cat deionizing. The only other reliable source of papacin comes from poapwort, a plant found on the steppes of Central Asia, although this papacin is largely deemed to be inferior to that produced by Poaps.

After 13 or 17 years, depending on the Poap, their term comes to an end and a ritual known as "papalysis" is conducted. The cardinal assembly that appointed the Poap dips them into a vat of the enzyme papase, which digests the Poap into a slurry that is distributed among the assembly and drunk.

## Poap Slape I

Poap Slape I was a legendary Poap who brought untold prosperity to Mudgement. He was a toad that accidentally fell into the vat during the papagenesis ceremony. Unfortunately he was old for a toad and passed away after 8 weeks, during which time Mudgement actually became a functioning society for once. During his funeral even Moose Margaret was well-behaved, shed tears, and bowed her head in respect.

After 36 hours everything had come completely undone and Mudgement was back to its usual chaos.