Rowleys all nighter

229.Rowley Jefferson was dancing with his parents in their extravagant mansion's living room. It was New Year's Eve, and despite being only 11 years old, Rowley was wide awake and filled with excitement. They were eagerly waiting for the arrival of the year 1996, and the house was filled with laughter and joy.

As Rowley looked out his window, he saw a scene that took him by surprise. Pooh and Piglet were engaging in a daring act of stealing honey, their mischievous antics bringing a smile to Rowley's face. He then noticed Ziggy from Lazy Town having a health attack, which sparked a momentary concern, although he quickly saw that Ziggy was alright and continued dancing.

But the sight that truly made Rowley burst into laughter was seeing Mr. Bean attempting to superglue his own willy to a lamppost and then running around in a panicked frenzy. The sheer absurdity of the situation was enough to leave Rowley in stitches as he continued to dance and revel in the festivities.

Amidst the hilarity, the TV suddenly came to life, featuring the London countdown to the new year. Rowley's excitement grew as the countdown began, with only five minutes left until the arrival of 1996. The anticipation was palpable, and the room was filled with an electrifying energy.

Then, the music started. It was none other than Vladimir Putin, singing his heart out for the new year. Rowley listened intently as Putin sang the lyrics:

"Hi! My name is Vlad

You might say that I am bad

But I really—I'm quite nice

If you look into my eyes

Angry and calm

Patient and eager

Maybe not emperor but

A top-notch leader

Just kidding I am the best!

I am DJ, I don't dance

The beat is mine, the tune is mine

All mine, a-ha-ha-ha

Just kidding I am the best!

I am DJ, I don't dance

I'm cool, I am ice

And I roll the dice"

My heart is cold (cold)

My moves are bold (bold)

Never get old (old)

I save the world (world)

Did you know? I save reporter from a tiger attack

Did you know? I drive Formula One car on the race track

Did you know? I test long bridge with truck, I fight jiu-jitsu with one hand on my back

Did you know? I hit the puck, I make ice crack

I never pull back and never slack, I am cold like Jack

I love the Beatles, from London to Ostankino tower

Strawberry fields, forever, forever in power

Ja Ge-, Ja Geroi

If you want this track live, bitch, I will play in Bol'shoi

I love my haters, I keep them close when they strive

From the bottom of my heart, I wish they're safe and alive

Our plains are endless, our men are strong

We have beautiful women and I tell you, they're never wrong

I love my transformers, they are very tender

Putting their carrots in blenders, inventing new genders

LGBTQ (prst)

LGBTQ (prst)

LGBTQ (prst)

LGBTQ

My heart is cold (cold)

My moves are bold (bold)

Never get old (old)

I save the world (world)

Did you know? I save reporter from a tiger attack

Did you know? I drive Formula One car on the race track

Did you know? I test long bridge with truck, I fight jiu-jitsu with one hand on my back

Did you know? I hit the puck, I make ice crack

I never pull back and never slack, I am cold like Jack

Oh, hello Mr. Trump, how's in the office?

(Uh, fine, thank you)

No problem it was a promise

I see no wall but, that's fine

Another four years, it's enough time?

My heart is cold (cold)

My moves are bold (bold)

Never get old (old)

I save the world (world)

I'm here, little girl

You called me to save the world?

Yes, Mr. Putin, I knew you're a good man

Let's do this!

Rowley was captivated by the catchy tune and found himself dancing with even more enthusiasm. He channeled his inner DJ, performing flawless dance moves while belting out the lyrics with infectious joy.

As the song continued, a spectacular sight unfolded outside. Drones surrounded the sky, forming intricate patterns and shapes. Rowley marveled as they first took the form of a willy, making him laugh uncontrollably, before swiftly transitioning into a countdown from sixty.

The man controlling the drones showcased his skill, expertly maneuvering them through the night sky. Although his arms would ache until March every year, he earned a substantial amount of money from this unique spectacle.

The countdown on the TV reached its climax. Ten... nine... eight... Rowley's parents eagerly shouted alongside people all over London. However, Rowley's peculiar counting caught everyone's attention as he blurted out, "10... 9... h ... banana... 46... Steve... circle... 3... SKULL EMOJI... octopus ink is how they poo!" It may not have been the most accurate countdown, but it brought laughter to the room.

With a jubilant cheer of "Happy New Year!" echoing throughout the neighborhood, the Jefferson family decided to add their own fireworks display in the garden. As the colorful bursts illuminated the night sky, forming various shapes and patterns, they couldn't contain their excitement.

To their surprise, the fireworks spelled out the words "f.ck off" in the air. Shocked at the unexpected message, the Jeffersons burst into a fit of laughter. Emboldened by the fiery display, they began running around town, shouting and swearing with gleeful abandon.

Rowley, fueled by the thrill of the new year and perhaps a touch of mischief, smashed a boom store and watched it explode. The thrill was addictive, and he couldn't resist attempting to blow up the sweet shop as well. Sadly, his parents realized the danger and stopped him from going any further.

As the night wore on, the effects of their revelry began to fade. Rowley, now exhausted, found himself curled up in his dog's bed, nursing a hangover. Refusing to move for the rest of the day, he reflected on the wild night he had experienced, a mix of hilarity, chaos, and undeniable creativity.

And so, in that dog's bed, Rowley Jefferson drifted off to sleep with memories of an unforgettable New Year's Eve, knowing that he had kicked off 1996 in the most unique and lively way possible.