Norman Gates

Large anarchist grey rabbit with extremely long front teeth and a completely flat face from damage following a car accident when he was a child (he still has nightmares of the same). Son of Kenneth and Joy Gates (deceased). Best friends are Richard Edwards and (Neil) Kingston, Richard being the only one who can stop him with just a finger.

Has on occasion stabbed himself in the chest with his front teeth. Also has "tattoos" on each shoulder, an anarchist emblem on his right shoulder and an Ace of Spades on his left. Acts like a huge bully but will in fact back down when someone stands up to him, as he respects people who do but disrespects cowards and other wastes of time. Otherwise hates everyone equally, regardless of race or belief. Has principles and ideals... just very messed up ones. Fears Teletubbies. Favourite holiday is Guy Fawkes Day, to the point of going back in time and risking his own life to make sure he blew up something "cool" when he had missed out earlier. Has a sweet tooth and is into ciders and alcopops like WKD and, if nobody is looking, Bacardi Breezers.

Al based Norman loosely on a "short, ginger tit" according to a Keenspot forum post. Art-wise, Norman was based on an ASCII art creation.

## Mindless Thug Norman Gates

In the present timeline, Gates proclaims to love anarchy over democracy or "the left", but when it comes to Richard finally moving out with Anne, he reveals how much he actually preferred the status quo of living with Richard and Kingston. Richard becomes fed up with Gates's attitude and criticizes his infatuation with anarchy. Instead, he suggests Gates take up politics and put his money where his mouth is.

Gates typically accompanies Richard on rent collection days as intimidation, but one time they invite Nathan to tag along for some quick cash. When his back is turned, Gates is attacked. Nathan stops the assailant, however, which Gates appreciates.

One day, Gates answers the house line and is introduced to Christopher, or Mr. Reed, who offers a mutually beneficial business proposal, also pointing out that the line is tapped. When Gates dismisses the call as a prank, Christopher offers to help avenge "them" as his mission to remove oppression and corruption from the world.

The police later come by to try to catch Gates on fraudulent charges to keep him from making trouble on Guy Fawkes Day, but as he is not at the house, Officer Victor Simons later drops by the Britannia pub on a tip and is nearly assaulted by a Gates doppelganger, stopped by Gates. Gates informs Victor that the idea was to frame Gates for destruction of the pub while getting to collect on insurance fraud. Victor arrests the doppelganger and asks Gates if he wants to press charges, but Gates declines as he has no standing to press charges, he doesn't think highly of the system in the first place, and the doppelganger might press charges himself. Gates promises to stay out of trouble, as there was going to be an "accidental" explosion at the Bennet Homes head office, but he changed his mind when he realised it would destroy the insurance fraud paper trail, preventing the police from being able to catch them. Gates later asks Christopher how he knew the doppelganger would be there, and Christopher only alludes to having "connections."

Richard sends Gates out for milk after Gates drinks all of it, threatening to make him homeless if he doesn't. At the store, the customer in front of Gates holds up the cashier, to Gates's vocal irritation. He is not impressed by the sidearm, and the cashier runs while the would-be robber is distracted by Gates. He points out that the robber cannot win, as the gun will not help him when the police show up with REAL guns, and the robber fires the gun into the air to prove it works, only to be caught by Gates in doing so. Gates beats up the robber and finally buys the milk, only for Fat Lez to stop him for possible suspected crimes. Gates is released with a slap on the wrist, as the media portrays him as a hero, and Gary Heart offers to cover his legal fees. Gates initially refuses, until he sees Heart's card revealing himself to be the "5 Iron Arsonist," and he decides to trust him.

Gates gets a phone, and Christopher explains to Gates that he heard about the incident and sent Heart to bail him out. Christopher suggests Gates do a round of golf with Heart, who has his own rules. Heart explains that he never wanted to be a lawyer, but his father had shoved it down his throat since his birth. Since golf was the only thing his father enjoyed, Heart wanted to ruin the game for him, despite actually liking the game (just not the rich jerks who play it). Gates is suspicious about Heart being so open with him, but when Heart points out the amount of information Christopher seems to have on both of them, Gates is suddenly paranoid about his future. Gates and Heart bond over pyrotechnics, and Gates agrees to Heart being his lawyer. However, Gates quickly realises that Heart is even more insane than he is.

As punishment for the robbery incident, Gates gets 70 hours of community service collecting money for "The Bonfire Association", a cover to keep Gates occupied during Guy Fawkes Day.

Gates and Heart occasionally get together to "play golf." Gates does not trust Heart with a loaded gun, as the one time he tried to teach Heart how to shoot, Gates's nurse spent two hours extracting bird shot from his backside.

After Conrad retrieves an item requested by Mr. Reed, Gates and Heart visit Conrad to retrieve the item from him when he fails to deliver it. Heart threatens to set Conrad on fire, but Gates stops him with a look. Conrad admits he sold it to one of Sweetwater's associates Slick Willie, which forces Gates and Heart to give up and report the details to Mr. Reed, as they do not want anything to do with Sweetwater.

Mr. Reed then requests Gates to retrieve the item from Sweetwater, but he refuses even at double the fee, because money is useless "when they find you face down in a sewage treatment plant with your balls cut off!" Mr. Reed then threatens to report Heart's illicit activities to the police and to report Richard's mysterious property acquisition if he and Gates do not retrieve the item.

Gates and Heart reluctantly go to the warehouse where Sweetwater is hiding out, but Slick Willie captures Gates and Heart for Sweetwater, with the intention of extracting information on Mr. Reed. However, Gates is not impressed by Sweetwater's threats for a number of reasons: 1. Sweetwater is threatening them in person, 2. Gates has already suffered more pain than Sweetwater can dish out, and 3. Gates figures Mr. Reed has dirt on Sweetwater. He offers to cooperate if asked politely, however, and even offers his own theory that Mr. Reed is a machine or foreigner. His main concern is not getting tied up in some "illuminati bullshit." They compare notes, and Sweetwater determines that Mr. Reed pays Gates through a fake holdings company, then reveals the item that Mr. Reed was so interested in retrieving. Gates suggests the item could have value in relation to weaponry due to the way Mr. Reed's workforce organisation resembles that of terrorist cells. Sweetwater then concedes the item, and Mr. Reed has Gates mail the item to GCHQ.

Following a tip from Mr. Reed, Gates discovers an abandoned yacht called the Inglorious, which he uses as an "in" to rent Richard's boat mooring, much to Anne's displeasure. To get into their good graces, Gates tells them everything he has been up to, much to their dismay. He adds that he is aware that he owes Reed for the boat, but staying in the old house, essentially by himself, made him lonely. Anne decides to give him one chance, not because she wants to, but because she believes Gates is telling the truth about Reed, and if so, it's safer to have Gates near rather than incentivise Reed to keep creating ways for Gates to get to Richard.

## First Advisor Norman Gates

   In the future timeline, Gates takes up politics like Richard recommended and eventually becomes First Advisor for the Anarchists. Able to control mobs through fun and rousing speeches off the hip (often misquoted) that direct the crowds' anger toward his opponents, eventually wiping out the USA. Formed the Advisor system on the basis of laws being well-meaning but often oppressive (hence, giving advice rather than rule-making) and punishing those who refused to admit to being wrong to the point of denying evidence and lashing out. Also rewards results rather than loyalty to prevent himself from being replaced, such that his underlings spent all their time trying to keep their own positions to spend any time worrying about taking his. Also randomly shoots one of them on occasion to keep them on their toes.

Gates was placed into stasis for 300 years in anticipation of the "prophecy": an Oracle-planted distress signal sent by Tin-Head to the Inglorious, now an Anarchist battleship that had disappeared 50 years prior to Gates's reawakening and has reappeared to attack the space station E11 once Maytec has started testing. Underneath Maytec's and the CORE's noses, the Inglorious causes all of Maytec's ships to vanish, with the Inglorious appearing in their place. Gates then hails E11 and demands to speak with Commander Adams and Dr. Cook. Via tips from the Oracle, Gates reveals to a startled Cook that the Philadelphia project (in essence, a time machine) is responsible for his reappearance. Skeptical, Adams nonetheless puts the station on red alert, although Cook suspects Gates is actually a clone based on the Anarchists' lack of morals.

Gates, in the meantime, offers proof in the form of violently teleporting a large number of the E11 crew from a visual "bite" out of the space station's mess hall, sending Inlays to entertain the hostages. In exchange for the crew's safety, Gates demands control of the Maytec ship "Wildfire." Cook, unfortunately for Gates, suddenly grows a spine and incapacitates Commander Adams in order to keep control of the time machine prototype, and Tessa interferes with the Oracle's contingency plan to keep Cook from the Wildfire. The Oracle concludes that both time travel and the proximity of two time machines prevent accurate predictions, due to the fluctuating nature of time-travel time continuum.

Gates is concerned about small differences in his past, but the Oracle chalks it up to an inconvenience, and meanwhile Gates offers shore leave to the Inglorious crew while the Oracle cautions about leaving behind anachronisms. One of the crew asks Past Gates for his autograph, as First Advisor Gates doesn't autograph anything.

## Hunting Made Easy

A filler thread about things that are easy to hunt:

* Pheasant
* Fox
* Tourist
* Pigeon Golf
* Jehovah's Witness trying to see if you are home

## Beliefs

* Respects others' religious beliefs, but believes others then need to respect his belief that they are idiots, especially ones who believe in the "greater good."
* Believes in making the good from the bad, but doesn't believe in charity.
* Everyone is terrible, but at least anarchists are terrible and proud of it.
* Just because capitalism is better than communism doesn't mean capitalism is right.
* Ruling the world is hard work.
* The difference between Anarchists and Libertarians is "Anarchists aren't pussies."
* Nothing truly terrible makes the news, as the media prioritises the burning of "dead words from dead men on dead trees" over living people.
* The difference between revolutionaries and rioters is the former wants change, the latter wants material stuff but deserves a kick in the head.
* Capitalism is a lie that everyone agreed to, lest their entire house of cards fall down.
* Fanaticism is a force to be reckoned with when used correctly on impressionable idiots. (see: any Freddie Mercury performance)
* People don't truly know what they want, or they would just get it. Those who don't are whiners to be ignored.
* Passive threats are good for maintaining the status quo, but active beatings get results.
* Democracy fails as it is the will of the few who can manipulate the many.
* Killing Nazis is fun!
* "Trickle-Down Economics" does not generate wealth at the top, it CONSUMES it.
* Prefers shotguns to handguns.
* Nationalism is the way for cowards to be proud of doing absolutely nothing.
* Anarchy can be very organised when it wants to be.
* Binary choices are lazy thinking.
* Fighting for the people is fighting for a bunch of hateful ingrates.
* In the Battle for Berlin recommended charging toward the enemy headfirst and screaming, "like we normally do".
* Started the war with the Nationalists by ironically executing other hate groups (gassing Neo Nazis, etc.)

## Known Sexual Relations

Publicly, Gates has never been with anyone and probably died a virgin out of distrust of anyone who professed to find him attractive, believing it was his power they were after. As an early S.S.D.D. punchline, however, he has expressed interest in the Cadbury Caramel Bunny.

* What does Christmas mean to you? Gates 2 3 4
* Featured in a possible shirt design

1. ↑ Ironically, his future self forms an organised government that calls itself anarchist... nope, not hypocritical at all!
2. ↑ the rest of his teeth are pointy for an unknown reason
3. ↑ which is why he's a huge grey rabbit?