Dinner With Curiosity (Literature)

"I'm the head of curiosity, i'm supposed to do this! this is my job this is what i was forged out of ash and clay for- i"

"Well Coeus, i made it- despite your directions" A bit of a passive-aggressive opening, Coeus thought, but his boss had always been like that, he's good at heart, but he can come off as brash, or just a bit rude, like that one time in the Glade-Everest hotel where Canvaint forgot to bring a toothbrush! That was really funny, Ser-
"Uhh...earth to Coeus, Coeus?" snapping back to reality, Coeus realized he had wandered off again, before he could even start thinking about talking, Seraphim continued "Oh, don't bother with an apology, i know how you are- *i did make you after all*" Seraphim said that last bit with a more hushed voice

*"Coeus, this seems a bit...dangerous, the tides are ferocious and we can easily get overboard and have things get...messy"* Seraphim took a deep breath*,* tightening his grip on his wand
*"Coeus, we're going into the deep end of this community and we might not see the shore once more...are you sure you can navigate this ship?"*
"Mr. Prime Minster Sir,
i have no idea."
"ALRIGHT, im back to speaking as Seraphim
**Coeus**: Ah, Superintendent Seraphim, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!
**Seraphim**: Yeah.
[*Coeus runs to the kitchen, only to find his roast is burnt and gasps in horror*]
**Coeus**: Oh, egads! My roast is ruined! But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? [*chuckles*] Delightfully devilish, Coeus.
[*He begins to climb through the window, but Seraphim enters the kitchen. The theme song to an imaginary show called "Coeus and the Superintendent" then plays*]
**Seraphim**: **SEEEEEYMOOUUURRR!!!**
**Coeus**: Superintendent! I was just...uh---just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
**Seraphim**: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Coeus?
**Coeus**: Uh... ooh! That isn't smoke, it's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmmm, steamed clams!
[*Once Seraphim leaves the kitchen, Coeus breathes a sigh of relief, climbs out the window, and runs across the street to Krusty Burger, where buys hamburgers and french fries to replace his burnt roast. He enters the dining room with the fast food on a silver tray.*]
**Coeus**: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for some mouthwatering hamburgers.
**Seraphim**: I thought we were having steamed clams.
**Coeus**: Oh no, I said 'steamed hams'. That's what I call hamburgers.
**Seraphim**: You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?
**Coeus**: Yes! It's a regional dialect.
**Seraphim**: Uh-huh. Eh, what region?
**Coeus**: Uh...upstate New York.
**Seraphim**: Really? Well I'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams'.
**Coeus**: Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.
**Seraphim**: I see.
[*Seraphim takes a bite out of a burger and chews it a little, while Coeus sips his drink.*]
**Seraphim**: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
**Coeus**: Hohoho, no! Patented Coeus Burgers. Old family recipe!
**Seraphim**: For steamed hams?
**Coeus**: Yes.
**Seraphim**: Yes, and you call them steamed hams, despite the fact they are obviously grilled.
**Coeus**: Y- Uh.. you know, the... One thing I should... excuse me for one second.
**Seraphim**: Of course.
[*Coeus enters and leaves the kitchen swiftly upon seeing it is now on fire*]
**Coeus**: [*yawns*] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
**Seraphim**: Yes, I should be--*good lord, what is happening in there?!*
**Coeus**: Aurora Borealis?
**Seraphim**: Ah- *Aurora Borealis!?* At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, *localized entirely within your kitchen!?*
**Coeus**: Yes.
**Seraphim**: ...May I see it?
**Coeus**: ...No.
[*They exit the house as the kitchen fire grows larger.*]
**Agnes**: Coeus! The house is on fire!
**Coeus**: No, mother, it's just the Northern Lights.
**Seraphim**: Well, Coeus, you are an adventurous man, im glad you're living up to your purpose, keep up the good work!
As Coeus began to turn around, he saw his boss had stopped dead in his tracks, he slowly turned around and remarked;
"Also, you 'knead' a good ramen, im damn impressed, you learnt that all by yourself, huh? haha, see you in the MEMORY building on Tuesday's audit! be there 10am sharp!"
*"Yes Boss! godspeed!"*
*"Ah, what a nice time we had, it's been a while since* *Seraphim had such an open heart-to-heart with me like that, his ethic is really commendable, i love that guy! and i dont say that just because he made me. He treats us all well and with respect, i would not trade him out with anyone else! He is just really kind-hearted, it seems, he would never hurt a fly...OKAY he would, he is pretty erratic and that sometimes translates to being erratically violent and aggressive. And also translates to being kinda manic, or grumpy...he does get really scary when he gets genuinely mad about something, like when the previous Overseer of Arts was caught belittling the Brain Librarians, i think his wand changed to a really bright red and i swear steam was coming out of his ears like he was in a cartoon- the Overseer didn't see the end of that until she was fired...man he gets scary!...but that Overseer kinda deserved it, she was really rude to all the Librarians who were trying their best! Something else she did sucked was..."*