Lost THX Tex Trailer: A Microsoft Boxset

Warning: The following story contains graphic violence that might not be suitable for children. Viewer discretion is advised.

My friends were gone. My girlfriend was gone. As for me, I was at the bottom of the hotel pool, drowning. It was all Tex's fault. But just as I thought that my story would end, a hand grabbed me out of the water and did CPR on me to revive me. I was alive!

"Thank you," I said.

"You're welcome, Kadin," said an alternate version of me.

Wait? What?!

I saw two alternate versions of me, looking down at me, curiously. One had a robotic arm and leg on him and looked like a cyborg. The other had a super suit on him, like Iron Man.

"You have got to be kidding me," I said to myself.

"It's OK," said Cyborg Kadin. "We're you."

"We are from alternate universes," said Iron Kadin. "Yesterday, we were pulled here because of Tex."

"He captured my friends and girlfriend," I said. "I don't want to even think about him right now. He's none of my concern. I don't care anymore. I'm done. They're gone because of me. The multiverse is broken because of me. I'm sorry I dragged you two into this mess. But I'm gonna find the Eternal Flame and do what I should've done sooner. I'm gonna revive Dr. Curtis Murtis and end this. Good luck to you."

I was walking to my room to get the Flame. But Cyborg Kadin stopped me.

"Kadin," said Cyborg Kadin. "We already revived him, and he has some words for you."

At that moment, Dr. Curtis Murtis himself walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Kadin," said Dr. Murtis. "I created Tex to bring joy to all of the children and adults who saw him. But after the incident, he snapped. He got bitter and rageful. This is all my mess. That day, all of my staff, my pregnant wife, and my two kids lost their lives. My third child would've been four this year, if he was born. I lost my family because I was too stupid to fight Tex. But now that I'm back to life, I can be of some assistance to clean up the mess I made. Which is why I brought another friend with me."

At that moment, Officer J from the Ice Scream Universe walked into the room.

"I was a friend of Rod's in middle school," said Officer J. "I remember him being made fun of constantly by the other kids for being fat. But he truly was the sweetest guy. Until he started making ice cream out of kids. If I can bring back my friend, then maybe this whole thing will be worth it."

"Both of us lost our friends to Tex," said Iron Kadin. "Cyborg Kadin's friends turned evil. But mine were killed by the psychotic robot. I just want one more chance to redeem myself."

"To redeem all of us," said Cyborg Kadin. "In the end, maybe I'll get my friends back again."

"OK," I said. "What's the plan?"

"Well," said Dr. Murtis. "Everything we need will be right here."

Dr. Murtis pulled out another THX boxset. This time, it was MIcrosoft Games and the characters on it included Master Chief, Steve, Alex, Doomslayer, and L.O.G.

"Whatever it takes," I said. "We are saving the world."

Dr. Murtis put the DVD into the swimming pool, so we could watch it from the pool. The warning popped up:

"Warning: The following trailer was made to promote the wedding of Tex and Oceanna, despite it not being THX-certified. This trailer contains graphic violence. Viewer discretion is advised."

"Wait?!" I said. "Tex and Oceanna are getting married?! NO!"

The trailer opened with Tex's hideout, with all of Tex's kids tied up in a giant bowl. Rod walked up to them and laughed.

"Well, well, well," said Rod. "Looks like you guys are all together again. But don't get too comfortable. No, no, no. Soon, you will be squeezed and made into ice cream for the big wedding day!"

"You're a big meanie!" yelled Tammy.

"WHAT?!" yelled Rod, angrily.

"You're a meanie," said Tammy.

"Well, meanies gotta have ice cream, too," said Rod, with a chuckle.

"Leave her alone," said Toppy, who was tied up on a couch, watching the whole ordeal.

"You're next!" yelled Rod. "Electro and Doc Ock, get this goat simp into a bowl, while I make the little ones into some ice cream. You know, because I'm a "meanie"."

"With pleasure," said Doc Ock, as he grabbed Toppy.

"And cut!" said Mysterio, as he shut off the illusion.

"How was that?!" asked Rod.

"Very good," said Mysterio. "Calling Toppy a goat simp. Very very creative. That is exactly what you need to do on the wedding day. Electro, Doc Ock. I could use a little more drama when grabbing Toppy."

"Guys!" yelled Tex, who rushed into the room. "I got Oceanna! She's in the fish tank right now. I was very direct with her: She has to marry me or she will be sushi, along with her sisters back at the headquarters."

"Congrats, man!" said Sandman. "What about Kadin, though?"

"Oh, don't worry," said Tex. "He's at the bottom of the hotel room pool now. My alternate Toppy and Dave took care of him. Now, come on! We got a bachelor party to do."

The trailer wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of Master Chief's spaceship. Master Chief was flying in space, looking for enemies to fight. All of a sudden, he saw a green blob coming towards him.

"Master Chief to Mission Control, come in," said Master Chief, trying to get their attention. "Mission control! Do you read?! I got a green blob and a red thing coming near me!"

At that moment, the blobs were revealed to be The Green Goblin and Tex.

"TIME TO CONQUER SPACE WITH SEXY TEXY!" yelled Tex. "Gobby, do the honors."

"With pleasure," said The Green Goblin, as he threw a pumpkin bomb at the spaceship.

Before the bomb made contact with the spaceship, the screen cut to black. All I could hear was Master Chief's screams and the bomb exploding.

But the trailer wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of a Minecraft house. Steve and Alex were building a weapon to try and fight Tex and his Horror Gang with. But before they could finish, Tex knocked them out, while Electro put down the TnT.

"Time for this blocky couple to go boom!" yelled Electro, as he lit the TnT.

But before it could explode, the screen cut to black.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of Doomslayer in Hell, looking for a demon to fight.

"Come on," said Doomslayer. "Where are you? I should also watch out for Tex and his Horror Gang."

At that moment, Tex, Electro, Huggy Wuggy, and Venom jumped in front of Doomslayer, startling him.

"Hello, Master Chief ripoff," said Tex, with a chuckle. "My pets need to eat. But we don't know where to eat."

"LISTEN HERE!" yelled Doomslayer. "You and your Horror Gang are a bunch of psychos! I will have you burned in Hell if you don't leave now!"

"Well, that's no way to treat someone who wants to feed his pets," said Tex. "TIME TO FEED THE ANIMALS WITH THE T-MAN! Venom and Huggy, eat up!"

"With pleasure," said Venom, as he and Huggy got closer to Doomslayer.

"No, don't kill me. I'm not food! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Doomslayer, as he was being devoured by Venom and Huggy.

Blood and guts went everywhere as Doomslayer screamed in absolute agony. Dr. Murtis thought it was absolutely disgusting. So, he threw up right in the pool.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to the racing world from Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts. L.O.G. was counting all of the parts at his repair shop, to see if he hade enough to make a car. But at that moment, Tex and The Lizard drove over to the shop.

"Hello, TV man," said Tex. "Our car needs fixing. Can you help us?"

L.O.G. wapped Tex on the head with a nearby wrench and tried to tell him off. Then, L.O.G. wapped The Lizard in the head with a wrench and told him off. The Lizard growled as he hopped out of the car.

"Uh oh," said Tex, laughing. "Looks like you angered The Lizard. Eat him up, Lizard!"

"With pleasure," said The Lizard, as he dug into L.O.G.

L.O.G. screamed as he met his demise. It wasn't as bloody as the Doom scene. But it still made Dr. Murtis throw up in the pool.

Anyways, the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of the Microsoft logo and the THX logo. The Microsoft logo was cracked and looked bloody. Then, the Deep Note played. This time, the screams belonged to Master Chief, L.O.G., and Doomslayer. After the deep note stopped, Tex dropped down to give his speech:

"Hi there, Microsoft Games fans. Sexy Texy is back at it again, killing all of your favorite characters with the Horror Gang. Also, I will be getting married to Kadin's little girlfriend. If you are ever scared of me or the Horror Gang, we will come and find you and give you a slice of Tex's Toast. Sweet dreams. Also, Kadin, you won't be able to stop this."

Tex laughed as "The Audience is Listening" and "To be continued..." appeared on the screen.

I didn't know what to say. Tex was going to forcefully marry Oceanna?!

"How do we stop this wedding, Dr. Murtis?" I asked.

"We have to fight Tex and his Horror Gang," said Dr. Murtis. "Then, I can reset Tex to get him back to his normal self. Then, maybe I'll see my family again."

At that moment, Zurg walked by, mopping the floors.

"Hey, Zurg!" I yelled.

"What?!" asked Zurg.

"We are fighting Tex and his Horror Gang!" I said. "Do you want to help us?"

"Yes," said Zurg. "I don't like Tex. He's the reason that I have to mop floors for the rest of my life."

"Let's do this," said Dr. Murtis.

I had a whole new sense of pride in myself. With my new team, we were ready to finally defeat Tex and The Horror Gang and save the world. But it would be better said than done.

(To be continued...)