Bikie Wars

**Bikie Wars** is a sketch that originated in Aunty Donna's live show and later became a music video. It is the most viewed video on Aunty Donna's YouTube channel. It's the first episode of the Fresh Blood web series. It was recreated on stage in the final sketch of Live at the Enmore.

## Popularization

The video blew up when it was reacted to by YouTube channel Cow Chop.

## Plot

A Bikie Man from a bikie gang says he lives in a crack den making crack. He loves killing, thieving and extortion, and offers abortions for $20. He loves cocaine and selling it to kids for $50 per ounce. Also, his dad used to fuck him. As he is walking along he encounters Snake, who is a member of a rival gang. He tells the Bikie Man he is a real rough bloke who will murder his wife if he doesn't give him the drugs. Despite Snake having the drop on him, the Bikie Man was able to get out of there by shooting him with an assult rifle. the Bikie Man then encounters a crooked cop who demands a bribe. He threatens to put him in handcuffies. Luckily, the Bikie still has the assault rifle on hand to shoot the cop with. Mark then moves on and encounters a passerby who Mark quickly shoots. The passerby lays on the ground screaming in pain as the song finishes, and the Bikie Man continues shooting him despite his pleading.

## Lyrics

**Verse 1: Bikie Man**

I'm a bikie man from a bikie gang

living in my crack den making crack

I love killing, thieving, and extortion

Give me twenty bucks, I'll give you an abortion

I love cocaine and selling it to kids

I charge fiddy for an ounce

And my dad used to fuck me, rippity dee

**Verse 2: Snake**

My name's Snake I'm from a rival gang

So give me the drugs or I'll go BANG

I'm a real rough bloke

I'll murder your wife

So give me the drugs or you'll be in strife

**Pre-Chorus: Bikie Man**

Oh no! He's got the drop on me

But lucky I got a trick up my sleeve

**Chorus**

Bang! Biggitybang a bigga bangbang biggity biggety bang

And a shoot-shoot-shoot put a bullet in your head

Bing bam boom and he's effin' dead

**Verse 3: Crooked Cop**

Stop right there I'm a crooked cop

Give me a bribe or your drugs will stop (eff you!)

Oh you gangsters are such big roughies

I'm gonna put you in... handcuffies

**Pre-chorus: Bikie Man**

Oh no! It's the boys in blue

What the hell am I gonna do?

**Chorus**

Bang! Biggitybang a bigga bangbang biggity biggety bang

And a shoot-shoot-shoot put a bullet in your head

Bing bam boom and he's effin' dead

**Pre-Chorus: Passerby**

Well hello there, I'm just a passerby and I-

**Chorus**

Bang! Biggitybang a bigga bangbang biggity biggety bang

And a shoot-shoot-shoot put a bullet in your head

Bing bam boom and he's effin' dead

**Outro**

Bangbang biggity bangbang biggity bang!

## Characters

* Bikie Man (Mark Bonanno)
* Snake (Broden Kelly)
* Crooked Cop (Tim Minchin)
* Passerby (Zachary Ruane)

## Trivia

* Two versions of the song have been uploaded to Aunty Donna's YouTube channel
	+ The first version was filmed as part of the Fresh Blood series (Bikie Wars - Youtube).
	+ The second version was filmed during a live performance at the Enmore Theatre. (Bikie Wars Live).
* The song was performed as the final part of the Aunty Donna Medley that they ended performances on the Album Tour with.
	+ Michelle Brasier plays the crooked cop.
	+ There is less violence in this version. Mark's character gives the rival gang member a kiss and the cop a hug rather than shooting them. However, he still shoots the passerby.
* It was revealed on Podcast Ep 49 - Feat. TIM MINCHIN Part 1 that Tim Minchin is responsible for the musical pause before "handcuffies", which Mark says is the part that got a laugh every single night.