The Stolen Formula

"The Stolen Formula."

*[scene starts in SpongeBob's bedroom in the morning]*

*[alarm rings 5x]*

**SpongeBob:** *[yells]* I'M READY! *[talks normally]* I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! *[looks at Gary and smudges his face]* Today's a new day, Gare Bear!

**Gary:** Meow.

**SpongeBob:** Another beautiful day at the most prestigious restaurant establishment in town, *[mouth waters]* The Krusty Krab!

*[victory screech]*

**SpongeBob:** Well, time for me to hit the sink and head off. *[brushes teeth]*

**Gary:** Meow.

**SpongeBob:** Huh. Oh! I almost forgot - let me feed you some breakfast, right after I finish brushing my teeth! *[continues brushing]*

**Gary:** Meow. *[touches SpongeBob's with his eye]*

**SpongeBob:** *[slightly frustrated]* Hold on a minute, Gary. I've got to brush, brush, brush for two minutes, or else I'll end up like Old Man Jenkins!

*[Patrick climbs up SpongeBob's pineapple and opens a nearby window]*

**Patrick:** *[excitedly]* Did somebody say Old Man Jenkins?!

**Gary:** Meow. *[touches SpongeBob again]*

**SpongeBob:** *[rinses mouth]* Boy Gary, you must be hungry today! Let's go and get us some grub!

*[SpongeBob walks downstairs and prepares some breakfast for Gary. Opens a Snail-Po can and places the food in Gary's bowl. Gary starts eating and dining quickly]*

**SpongeBob:** *[observes]* Wow, you are hungry! Last night's marathon must've kept you up for a while! Anyway, I have to go to work. *[lifts KK workhat]* Call me if you need anything! Toodles! *[closes door]*

*[SpongeBob walks to work as usual. Meanwhile at the Chum Bucket...]*

**Plankton:** *[grabs his antennae]* Karen, life is so unfair!

**Karen:** Why is that, Sheldon?

**Plankton:** It is almost impossible for me to steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula! I have tried 9,999 times and all of these plots have been mahoosive failures! What do I do?

**Karen:** Try for a 10,000th time, then. Only other option my CPU can think of.

**Plankton:** I'll just get ripped into tatters. The last time I tried Krabs slammed me like a golf ball, literally. His golf swing was spot on.

**Karen:** Are you a man or are you a mouse?

**Plankton:** Fine, I'll try for a 10,000 time, but if this fails, you owe me a fortune to pay for hospital bills. I'm broke.

**Karen:** You're broke because you have always failed to steal the secret formula you've plotted to steal for a lifetime now. That's pretty tragic. Now go, young amoeba. *[kicks Plankton outside of the Chum Bucket]*

**Plankton:** *[gets up and rubs forehead]* Ugh. *[notices SpongeBob]*

*[SpongeBob accidentally steps on Plankton]*

**Plankton:** SpongeBoob, can you watch where you're going, for peep's sake?!

**SpongeBob:** *[puzzled]* Hm? *[lifts shoe]* Oh hi, Plankton. What are you doing there, silly! *[removes Plankton, who's stuck to the sole of SpongeBob's shoe]*

**Plankton:** You're forgetting to look where you're going! I'm tired of this discrimination and inequity, and someday, *[growls with fists in the air]* I WILL RULE THE WORLD!

**SpongeBob:** *[laughs and walks into the Krusty Krab]*

**Plankton:** *[talks to himself]* Let me sneak in through the back. If I go through the front, I'll either get noticed and bruised or I'll get stepped on. Either way, it'd be gruesome.

*[Plankton sneaks into the Krusty Krab through the back door of the kitchen and goes unnoticed.]*

**Squidward:** *[through a megaphone]* SpongeBob! We need two orders of Kelp Fries for table 5, pronto.

**SpongeBob:** Coming right up, Squiddy!

**Plankton:** Time to sneak into Krabs' office. *[gasps]*

*[SpongeBob walks towards the back kitchen table and almost steps on Plankton. Plankton leaps under the table, only to start running away from lurking urchins]*

**Plankton:** Drats! That was a close one. *[crawls under the door connecting the kitchen to Krab's office.]*

**Mr. Krabs:** *[gasps]* What are you doing here, little pipsqueak? Came around for another round of firecrackers?

**Plankton:** CURSES! This is the 10,000th time, Krabs, the 10,000th time!

*[Krabs lifts Plankton and takes him outside with some explosive fireworks in his claws]*

**Plankton:** What the barnacle are you DOING?!

**Mr. Krabs:** Ready to send you to Mars, where you belong, you little nimrod. *[ignites fireworks]*

**Plankton:** *[screaming and skin starts to sag]* AHHHHHHHH!!

*[Plankton reaches the surface of the ocean near Bikini Atoll, then sinks back down, except he unexpectedly landed on the ship of the Flying Dutchmen]*

**Plankton:** *[gasps]* Oh, gosh... that was a nightmare. I thought I was going to...

**Flying Dutchmen:** *[blasts]* WHO DARES DISTURB THE FLYING DUTCHMAN IN HIS OWN LARE?!

**Plankton:** Who? What? You're just a ghost. Go back to your coffin. And I'm not here to say. Mr. Krabs unintentionally sent me here by pretending I was part of a 4th of July celebration.

*[The Dutchman picks Plankton up with two fingers and stares at him through one eye. He then sniffs him]*

**The Flying Dutchman:** Hm, I can smell the scent of failure. You look and sound like a dead pathogen. What in heaven's throne happened to your antennae? Why is it burnt?

**Plankton:** *[agitated]* Didn't I already tell you?! Mr. Krabs lit me on fire. He blasted me into the sky.

**The Flying Dutchman:** Why?

**Plankton:** Because I was in his office.

**The Flying Dutchman:** Why?

**Plankton:** Because I was trying to steal the formula.

**The Flying Dutchmen:** Why?

**Plankton:** *[smudges face]* In all of your ghastly days as a dead pirate, have you ever noticed with your two round eyes one customer at the Chum Bucket?

**The Flying Dutchmen:** I thought that place was a breeding ground for zoo animals?

**Plankton:** Enough with the questions. My life story and goal is ruined. I failed for the *[screeches and starts tearing up]* 10,000TH TIME!

**The Flying Dutchmen:** I bet I could steal the formula from that old timer on my first go. He's easy bait.

**Plankton:** You'll disintegrate if you don't know what you're doing. And you're a dead body - what juicy \*advantage\* does that bring to you?

**The Flying Dutchman:** Those dogs wouldn't notice me even if they tried. Plus, I'M A GHOST, AHAHAHAHA! I can spit fire out of my tongue and I can bust their fragile skeletons at any time I please! *[evil laugh with thunder]*

**Plankton:** *[satisfied]* Well then! Maybe we should form an alliance against SpongeBoob, Patrick, and that old Crustacean so we can rule the World!

**The Flying Dutchman:** *[disgruntled]* You can be my sidekick. *[flicks Plankton off of the ship]*

*[Thunder clouds roll in. The Flying Dutchman is in town. The Flying Dutchman enters the Krusty Krab with a horrifying soundtrack being played]*

**The Flying Dutchman:** *[blinding, blue light]* AVAST!

'*Squidward:***[gasps]**

**SpongeBob:** Could it be?

**Mr. Krabs:** Not you again. Batten down the hatches! It's the Flying Dutchman!

**The Flying Dutchman:** Too late, old man! *[flies directly into Krab's office and into the safe of the Secret Formula]* The Secret Formula is now the property of the Flying Dutchman!

**Mr. Krabs:** You can't do that!

**The Flying Dutchman:** Don't be robbing me of this precious, golden recipe, Krabs! It's now all mine. You don't want a trip to Davy Jones' locker, do you old coot?

**Mr. Krabs:** *[shivers]*

**The Flying Dutchman:** *[devilishly laughs]* AHAHAHAHA! WAHAHAHAHA! *[swirls away and storm clouds fade]*

*[Mr. Krabs' mouth is wide open, speechless]*

**Plankton:** *[on the ground, outside the Krusty Krab]* *[yelling to the sky]* HEY, you demised loon! I COMMAND YOU TO HAND OVER THE FORMULA TO THE CHUM BUCKET. It should be MINE! *[jumps repeatedly]* GIVE IT! GIVE IT! *[rips antennae]* YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO RUN AWAY WITH IT!

**SpongeBob:** *[starts crying]* This is terrible! The Flying Dutchman has held hostage the beacon of Krabby Patties. *[cries even louder]* WHAT DO WE DO?!

*[Patrick is at a nearby table eating a Krabby Patty]*

**Patrick:** *[depressed]* Does this mean there won't be anymore Krabby Patties anymore?

**SpongeBob:** I hate to say it but...

**Squidward:** Yes.

**SpongeBob:** *[wails]* Oh Squidward! Why did you have to say it! *[cries even more, with Patrick joining in]*

**Mr. Krabs:** This is a national emergency. Does anyone here know any professionally licensed "ghost hunters"?

**SpongeBob:** *[cheers up]* Oh yeah! Sandy's one! She helped us fight back Lord Poltergeist.

**Mr. Krab:** Well then! What are ya waitin' for, boyyo! Go find that squirrel!

**SpongeBob:** Aye aye, Captain. Can I bring Patrick along?

**Mr. Krabs:** No time to waste! Go, go, go!

**SpongeBob:** *[whispers]* Okay. That's the cue to come, Pat. *[winks]*

**Patrick:** Yipee! *[drools on Squidward, who stands nearby]*

**Squidward:** Go, already! *[hands crossed]*

*[SpongeBob and Patrick head to Sandy's treedome]*

**Sandy:** Howdy. What's up, y'all?

**Patrick:** *[sweats terribly]* SANDY! You won't believe it, the most terrible thing just happened to the world AND EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE!

**Sandy:** Uh.. SpongeBob, care to explain?

**SpongeBob:** No, he's right. The Flying Dutchman has stolen the Krabby Patty Secret Formula!

**Sandy:** Why don't you folks just ask for it back?

**Patrick:** *[laughs]* Bsst. *[makes a grotesque face]* People from Texas sure are stupid!

**SpongeBob:** How do you fight ghosts?

**Sandy:** The only way to fight these deceased, green spirits is through a turbo-charge, ghost-hunting, electric and unmatched vac.

**SpongeBob:** *[whispers to Patrick]* That means vacuum.

**Sandy:** I have all the parts to make this type of contraption, but it'll probably take a few minutes. Do you mind waiting?

**SpongeBob and Patrick:** Cool.

*[montage plays of them waiting. After ten minutes, their faces appear wrinkled. After 60 minutes, their eyes appear red. After two hours, they look weak]*

**French Narrator:** Four grueling and challenging hours later.

*[After four hours, they develop a full coat of white hair and beards like seniors]*

**Sandy:** AND... *[fixes last bolt]* DONE!

*[SpongeBob and Patrick rip off the white hair and beards]*

**Patrick:** BORING. BUT FINALLY. I definitely needed some nachos to keep me alive or else I would've been a ghost by now.

**SpongeBob:** Yahoo. But how will we get to Dutchman's ship. And how will we be able to ambush him?

**Sandy:** I have some suits that can take us there and turn us into superheroes!

**SpongeBob:** Genius!

*[SpongeBob and Patrick abruptly bow down to Sandy as if she's their deity]*

**Patrick:** All..... Hail..... the wise one..... Ms. Cheeks!

**SpongeBob:** All..... Hail..... the wise one..... Ms. Cheeks!

'*Sandy:***[giggles]** A little while ago, I sprayed these slick suits with invisible spray and equipped them with a jet pack. But yes, the force is with US once we step in to these brilliant super hero equipment.

**SpongeBob:** Can we invite Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy to join us with some wisdom?

**Sandy:** Uh... isn't this an emergency? Do we need them? Make it quick, boyyo. I thought this was urgent.

**SpongeBob:** *[dials number]*

**Mermaid Man:** Hello?

**SpongeBob:** Um... excuse me, great ones,

**Patrick** *[grabs phone]* *[yells]* IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!

**Mermaid Man:** OH! THERE'S EVIL ON THE LOOSE! AHHHHH!

**Barnacle Boy:** *[grabs phone]* Who is this?

**SpongeBob:** *[breathes into phone and talks slowly]* Y O U R B I G G E S T F A N  !

**Barnacle Boy:** Oh brother... *[falls back in chair]*

**SpongeBob:** We need your vital assistance in the fight against evil. The Flying Dutchman has stolen the sacred formula of the Krabby Patty!

**Barnacle Boy:** No, we're not the right ones, kid, up to this task.

**SpongeBob:** PRETTY PLEASE?!

**Barnacle Boy:** No.

**SpongeBob:** PRETTY, PRETTY PLEASE?!

**Barnacle Boy:** I said no.

**SpongeBob:** PRETTY, PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP?!

**Mermaid Man:** C'mon Barnacle Man! This sponge needs our help. You can't sit there nick-nack-jack like a deck of cards when THERE'S EVIL ON THE LOOSE! EVIL! EVIIIIIILLLLL! ONWARDS AGAINST EEEVVVVIIIILLLLLL!

**Barnacle Boy:** Shut your big pie hole, you old soul. This is a prank, can't you see? Do you have cotton in your ears again?

*[Mermaid Man still continues to drag Barnacle Boy despite resistance into the invisible boatmobile. And they started driving to Sandy's, and literally crash into her treedome. Mermaid Man gets out screaming...]*

Mermaid Man: EEVVVVIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

**Sandy:** What in tarnation?

**Barnacle Boy:** See? This is what happens when a sleezeball triggers Mermaid Man's counter-evil instincts at dusk.

**Patrick:** Everyone, grab one of these suits! It's for your own protection! *[tosses suits]*

**Barnacle Boy:** I don't see anything.. *[smacked by invisible suit]* *[angered]* HEY!

**Mermaid Man:** The fight against evil is only beginning!

**SpongeBob:** Everyone! *[points northwest]* To the Dutchman's ship!

*[Everyone activates their jet packs and they vamoose, all while invisible]*

*[Meanwhile at the Chum Bucket]*

**Plankton:** Karen, I'll be visiting a ghostly man called the Green Dutchman. He successfully stole the formula, and I MUST negotiate. We are both evil-doers, rulers of the world, and I gave him the idea. If he doesn't budge, I will! AND I WILL PREVAIL!

**Karen:** *[serious face in the background]*

**Plankton:** Goodbye! *[starts jetpack]*

*[Sandy, SpongeBob, Patrick, Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, and Plankton all arrive on the Dutchman's ship simultaneously, albeit on opposite sides of the ship]*

**Plankton:** Time to show this busted corn man who's boss!

**Sandy:** *[whispers to SpongeBob]* Psst. What's Plankton doing here?

**SpongeBob:** He raged and exploded earlier when the Flying Dutchman abandoned him with the formula.

**Sandy:** WOW, so he's hunting for the Formula too. We have competition.

**Patrick:** Duh.

**SpongeBob:** Yeah.

**Mermaid Man:** That doesn't matter square one or starfish. Where's the EEEEVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?!

**Plankton:** *[confused]* *[thinks]* Who else is on board? I don't see anybody. Or... even worse... maybe this place is haunted and populated by GHOSTS! *[ghost sound]* Ooooo.

*[Thunder roles in again, lighting strikes]*

**The Flying Dutchman:** Who dares disturb the Flying Dutchman in his own den?! *[gasps]* *[points at Plankton, the only one visible]* YOU again?! I thought I made you scramble and run for it?

**Plankton:** I wasn't the one who disturbed you, Sir, but... *[gazes at secret formula]* but... I DEMAND YOU TO HAND OVER THAT PIECE OF TREASURE THIS INSTANT, you ghoul.

**The Flying Dutchman:** Haha, you think I'd listen to a gnat? No one can stop me from robbing your precious Bikini Bottom from this delicacy! *[lightning strikes]* Ahahahahaha.

**Sandy:** Not if we have anything to do about it, with this unsophisticated swine.

**The Flying Dutchman:** Who said that?

**SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Mermaid Man, and Barnacle Boy:** Us.

**The Flying Dutchman:** Hold up, let me take care of this chicken first. *[zaps Plankton and Plankton falls off the ship, burning on fire]*

**Plankton:** Ahhhh! *[shouts]* Holy mother of pearl! WHY, WORLD, WHY?!

**Sandy:** *[with net, tries to capture the visible Dutchman]* Rats! I can't catch him in my net!

**SpongeBob:** Ayeeeeya! *[tries to Karate Punch the Flying Dutchman]*

**The Flying Dutchman:** Fools! I'm a ghost! You can't catch me or inflict me!

**Mermaid Man:** EEEVVVVIIIIILLLLLL is afoot!

**The Flying Dutchman:** Oh, is that Mermaid Man I hear? We can play the invisible game if you want! *[Dutchman suddenly flicks his fingers, which turns him invisible]*

**Patrick:** What do we do now, uh... *[sweats]*

**The Flying Dutchman:** You superheroes are no match! I have endless tricks up my sleeve. You can't catch me with a net, in karate, or mind-boggling, confuzzling work of your type!

**Barnacle Boy:** Oh brother. Why did we pick up the phone? Why?!

**SpongeBob:** *[whispers to Sandy]* Let's activate the vacuum.

**The Flying Dutchman:** I heard that! You can't suck me up because you don't know where I am! Y'all are a laughing stock! Ahahahaha!

**Mermaid Man:** Let's try this then! We WILL never surrender or accept defeat to EEVVIILLLL! *[grabs and turns on magnet from secret utility belt]*

*[The Dutchman's tail is attracted to the magnet]*

**The Flying Dutchman:** What are you doing? What's happening? I can't escape! You will pay for this in Davy Jones' Locker!

**Sandy:** Good thinking, Mermaid Man! *[winks]* Time to suck him up through the vacuum! *[turns on vacuum, but isn't powerful enough]* Strange. I thought this would be powerful enough. Totally off what I anticipated.

**The Flying Dutchman:** Let me roam free, or I will maul you! NOW!

**Sandy:** I need backup and reinforcement. Everyone join in and help me suck him into the vacuum. One vacuum isn't enough! Join in before he escapes!

*[Dutchman continues to attempt to escape]*

**The Flying Dutchman:** It looks like I'm left thing one thing to do: destroy all of you.

*[Everyone else starts up their vacuums and the Dutchman is reeled in like a fish]*

**The Flying Dutchman:** AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Treason! *[starts blazing into the air, trying to burn up and destroy everything. Ends up in vacuum storage, tattered, still tries to burn his way out, and then suddenly...*

Explosion]

*[Everyone is now sitting on the ground near the Krusty Krab at midnight with pieces of Dutchman's ship scattered everywhere. Mr. Krabs runs towards the explosion site he heard from his home. Plankton also looks outside. They both simultaneously spot the secret formula lying midway the street and start running]*

**Mr. Krabs:** Hands off, you smirky food-of-a-whale! *[kicks Plankton]*

**Plankton:** AHHHHH! Curse you, you cheapskate crustacean!

**Mr. Krabs:** And keep your grubby, dirty, little mitts off! *[starts crying and turns attention to the secret formula]* Oh, my beautiful piece of emerald! Formula, how are ya? *[kisses the formula]* *[looks around]* YOU ARE ALL GREAT! What happened to you lot? Why are you covered in smoke?

**SpongeBob:** It's a long story... *[smiles]*

*[Everyone laughs except Mermaid Man]*

**Mermaid Man:** EVVIIIILLLLLLLL!!

**Barnacle Boy:** What are you talking about, old-timer? "Evil" is defeated!

**Old Man Jenkins:** Did somebody say "evil"?!?!

*[Episode ends]*