Journey Journal/Maoman1 - I just listened to the Journey Symphony... and I am not sure I can put what I just felt into words

...So I'm just going to describe what I can and see where it takes me:

My wife told me to come find this subreddit and talk about it with others who have played the game to try and process this experience. I expect this to take me a while to write, so for reference (mostly my own), it is 10:55pm as of beginning this post.

I first started playing the Symphony intending it to be background music as I did some reorganization in my living room. At some point, I think near the end of *Road of Trials,* I sat down in my speaker's sweet spot to better appreciate a particularly beautiful section. I didn't get up again. I sat there, absorbed in the music, for the entire rest of the performance, and... at some point I started crying, but it was strange.

See, I didn't used to cry easily, but in the past few years as I've slowly felt like I am working free from over a decade of depression, I seem to be able to feel more "raw" emotion than before, and as a result, I find myself getting choked up or crying more and more as I get older. Getting choked up is no big deal, but if I reach the point of actually crying, it's like I am tipped over the edge and immediately break down into full-on sobbing.

The reason I bring this up, is because that didn't happen during the Symphony. At some point around the end of *Atonement* or the beginning of *Confluence,* I began to cry, and it was completely still and silent. My breathing was steady, my expression was relaxed, my mind was clear--in fact, I was so completely engrossed in the music that it felt very similar to meditation, and yet there was a steady stream of tears which, though varying in intensity, flowed nonstop until the end of the performance.

Nothing in my entire life has ever made me react like this.

And when the Symphony finished, I... I was genuinely speechless. I called my wife over and tried to talk to her about it, and she asked me how I felt, and I straight up just stared blankly into space for a good 30 seconds or so until she asked if I was okay. I couldn't even process *what* emotion I was feeling, nevermind put it into words. I felt completely overwhelmed yet also totally at peace, both joyous and mournful simultaneously... but also numb and shell-shocked at the same time as all of that, somehow.

Eventually, some twenty minutes after I called my wife over to talk about this experience, the closest word I could think of was... *Spiritual.*

I felt larger than myself. I felt connected in a way I'd never thought possible--connected to *you.* You reading this right now, you who enjoyed Journey on a deep enough level to be right here, now, in this subreddit, and you felt strongly enough about the Symphony that you'd read this random stranger's literal essay about his own experience; you and I are kin.

I say this because, somehow, this one musical rendition of this incredible work of art has shifted my thoughts about Journey from simply considering it a particularly beautiful game with a poignant story about life, to a near transcendental, once-in-a-lifetime experience that I now share with countless millions around the world. All of us, those who played Journey and were affected deeply enough to still be talking about it a decade later, we share this wholly unique experience, one which I believe has never happened before and quite possibly may never occur again. It the medium of video games' most powerful manifestation as an art form--not the first by any means, but it's most potent example to date--and I firmly believe no other medium would do this particular work of art justice.

No, not even music, not even the Symphony I am here raving about. It is not the source of these emotions, but rather *evoking* the emotions we felt ten years ago and that we have *continued* to feel as we travel through our own journey of life. This Symphony has distilled, purified, and condensed those emotions with unparalleled skill and beauty, true, but if this exact music had come into existence in a universe that had never had the game... well, it'd just be another beautiful work of music among all the rest.

...Anyway, I've kinda lost track of where I was going with this. I'm not sure why this feeling manifested as a spiritual connection to the world at large, and maybe you disagree or even think the whole idea silly... but they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I think I have just beheld beauty the likes of which I never feel again.

I... think that's it. I'm going to resist the urge to re-read and edit this. Hopefully that means it will feel like I'm speaking from the heart and not just endlessly rambling. Oh, and remember that reference time at the start? Yeah it's 11:58 now. An entire hour just trying to assemble my thoughts into something semi-coherent.

If you read the whole thing, thank you, truly. If you just skipped to the end, that's okay too (I wouldn't blame you, to be honest). Either way, please share your thoughts or feelings with me, and... well, it has been an honor to share this journey with you.