Thaum attempt 2: we literally should have known

## Thaum Th-Th-Tha-Tha Thaum

Events

The squad convenes and decides that resident lad Howell being stone is unacceptable; that we had to dive into Thaum's tower, now with open eyes and terrified hearts, and rescue our carbonite champion. Unlike last time, we decide to go through the secret, meta-trapped, door into the Lost District instead of dressing up like third string back bench ladies of the knight to murder some otherwise complicit but not necessarily evil guards. Already everything is coming up Stormguard.

We get to the tower no problem. Minor hallucinations of small Tiefling children and other loved ones appear along the way, but it's totally fine and none of us gave a hoot. Not even one small hoot was given. We were saving them for later but we'll get to that.

Marwyn ascended to Galaxy Brain status and by pure mental acuity and not luck in any way, shape, or form managed to teleport us up to the top of the tower. We came across a room of manticores, and after surprising them while at the same time using the Silence spell to keep half of them asleep, reminded Alex that while he may be god, god is dead; just like those manticores. There was even one that was bigger and more badass then the rest but we smacked the shit out of it real good. Our intrepid DM noted that it was a shame it died so fast because it could do a bunch of cool stuff, which is good for it because now its in Hell where its very hot. I'm sure he'll be very popular.

Then after proving the we aint no bitches, we came across a room filled with Jelly fish but telepathic and flying. I refuse to write down their name because it is stupid and I regret ever introducing them to this game. Alex named them all which is tragically hilarious, but we'll get to that.

So then we found an archway and after overthinking the entire problem because of our massive galaxy-sized brains, managed to use our flashlights to open the door. Inside we found a bigass wtf heart, which we tried to banish into whatever hellscape it came from, but where politely but firmly dealt 20d6. Still not a hoot was given, but we'll get to that. So we tried it again. This time were told more explicitly no by being dealt 20d6 damage, which was totally unexpected and unwarrented considering we had no idea that it could possibly happen. Meanwhile some of the squad had gone downstairs and then Marwyn and Roz had gone to advanced downstairs. All the Flumphs were splattered like a Pollock, which is hilarious considering the previously mentioned effort by Alex to give them names. Because Marwyn and Roz were in the advanced downstairs they took no damage but everyone else got dumpstered.

It was at this point the hoots started to be given, as Thaum appeared looking drier than the Gobi and as pretty as a very ugly person. Also he was a floating giant skull with a voice that I'm pretty sure would have made a baby seal cry. After fleeing upstairs to make our last stand; literally everyone in the party decided to dip immediately leaving everyone else to fend for themselves. Everyone teleported out with great luck, except for the person who didn't teleport who is now a rockboy. SpOLIers it was tOLItally avOLIdable but it happened. Roz then proceeded, being the last one, to run faster than Usain Bolt and flee like the smart cookie they were. Jules, a new PC who has totally been mentioned in this summary before now you just weren't paying attention, managed to heroically hold back Thaum by selling his soul to a demon and rock collection to Thaum; who really enjoys collecting rocks.

And thats what happened.