Q05 - Give A Dog A Boner

## Give A Dog A Boner

Overly dramatic Lily by Potterotic Dave

NOTE: In most cases this episode is titled "Give a Dog a Boner", but on the Potterotica Podcast website it is titled "Choices", after the name of the story.

This is a Potterotica Podcast exclusive story called "Choices" that was written by MaisieBee and beta'd by Heather.

## Episode Summary

Lily has had it up to here with James and his refusal to have a baby, and after a long, hard day at the Hungarian Hortail, Sirius begins to look like the answer to her problems.

## Pairings

* Lily Evans/Sirius Black
* Lily Evans/James Potter
* James Potter/Lily Evans/Sirius Black

## Notable Moments

* The hosts (read: Allie) struggle to get the new quickie song out at the beginning.
	+ They have become 1950's ad men: every problem can be solved with a jingle
* Hosts joke about Plughorn's Icelandic cousin.
* Story features the Hungarian Horntail, which was one of the Magical strip club names from the podcast.
* Lyndsay's type: An enchanted dragon bouncer
* Danny's concerned about losing his hand in the enchanted bouncer and needing worker's comp.
* Lyndsay wants a While You Were Sleeping/Harry Potter crossover featuring the draught of living death.
* Allie has a gigglefest when she misinterprets "the owner of the voice" to mean that "the voice" is a place.
* The only thing Allie drinks: vodka
* "What I love is the strength of their friendship." ~ Lyndsay, as Lily and Sirius start cheating on James.
* Danny expresses his love for the cult classic The Room.
	+ "Holla' at me on Facebook if you like The Room." ~ Danny
	+ "And holla' me on Facebook if you like Room." ~ Allie
* "Nothing like a kiss that is wet and desperate!" ~ Allie
* "She's gotta blow off some steam, blowing off Sirius" ~ Danny
* Allie wonders if Sirius also has the chinese symbol for "all is possible" on a tattoo.
* Danny guesses that Sirius' koi fish tattoo is called "Muffin"
* Allie is still working through the traumatic death of her fish that had lived to be 9 years old. She accidentally killed it when she was too impatient when cleaning the bowl and didn't wait long enough before putting it back in.
* Allie prefers boxer briefs
* Sirius also has silken pubes
* Danny pronounces Muffliato as Muff-lee-aysh-ee-o
* Hosts discuss whether they would have sex in public bathrooms (even if they are the Prefects' bathroom)
* "Is that the Dark Mark? That's the dick mark" ~ Danny
	+ Allie and Lyndsay suggest it would emit a sound effect of moaning of the person that gave it to you. Or Tim Allen's grunting from Home Improvement.
* Hosts are just as surprised by Sirius calling out James' name during sex as Sirius is.
* Gasping Lyndsay
* Allie's post-sex Sirius voice is less than sexy.
* Hosts joke that Sirius could be James and Lily's pet dog.
* Long, sexy owl legs make another appearance.
* Lyndsay wants to live the owl life. She wants people to give her snacks regularly. She just really likes toast.

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Loves Sirius

Lyndsay: Up

* Loves that he cleaned her cauldron afterwards and gave the owl toast.
* Liked the visual of a "built" Sirius.

Danny: Up

* Sex and tattoos are steamy
* No "cheating" (Lyndsay argues the technicalities of that)

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* Maisie Bee authored the story for this quickie
* Hosts mention their Hurricane Harvey promotional episode that featured a story by Theresa.