Concerning the Construction of a certain Rad Washing Machine

Concerning the construction of a certain Rad Washing Machine

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #1: Day 1

                thedude’s maniacal eyes were lit with a fire of excitement as a dark figure materialised in front of him. The dark purplish figure with the suit and the scepter, covered in an odd aura, turned the gaze of its hateful penetrating eyes to the Lord of Militiregnum.  Yet, thedude did not fear, facing the personification of Chaos and Destruction. They both glared at each other in silence for a moment. Then, unexpectedly the Darkitect smiled; a terrible smile it was.

                “You have summoned me, thedude! What is it that you want?” the Darkitect spoke.

                “ich lards thedude, mee maegesti foer yus!”

                “Whatever…”

                “mai haz kold ya te sajasts teh klampresion!”

                “A collaboration? What sort of collaboration?”

                To avoid using too much of thedude’s speech in the following narration which gets more tiring the more you use it, we shall instead use indirect speech.

                When thedude was still wandering in the Universe trying to find a way to conquer it, he once accidentally found a gate to another Universe. There, he discovered part of the designs of a battle station with the ability to destroy whole planets. He stole the designs and came back to this Universe intending to finish them some day and build such a lethal weapon.

                “That’s all great, but what do you want with me?”

                “mi billirfs dirsrstractif pawar av milstram kann iz yoozd ta mek tehs wapn! ar compande forkes kuld brot te Radr Marolath tu laif!”

                “It is not a bad plan! I suppose I can spare part of my army to help build and protect the battle station while it’s still in construction!”

                “diz ar barn enfawr. hi ees inn tchrerj afs de cranstracton uf tehs Rurd Marathwor! ee wel sunn bees wit yar ter dizkast t’ditls!”

                Another minifigure appeared from the darkness.

                “It will be my pleasure working with you!” said Lord Enfawr.

                “Very well! We shall meet again! But now I have urgent matters to attend to! Goodbye!”

                And then, the Darkitect was gone.

                “Enfor! Rmebers tas dvilop the unverse draiv,two! Bat, dant tal dracritec!”

                “Yes, my lord!” Enfawr bowed and then departed.

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #2: Day 13

                We have now gathered a mix of Maelstrom Beings, Paradox Rogues, Garmadon’s Skulkin, androids and several new recruits as workers to build the Rhoddwr Marwolaeth or soldiers to protect it. We set up a research facility in a Darneu in the area of Forbidden Valley where we shall study and complete the designs Lord thedude has supplied. The construction began yesterday, as for now we don’t need the complete designs to start building the station. The Darkitect promised to bring a Haedelra to guard the construction zone.

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #16: Day 134

                “Sir, you are being hailed! From Lord thedude!” someone announced to Lord Enfawr.

                “Well, I hope it’s not something bad!” Enfawr gulped “On screen!”

                thedude appeared on the screen and he seemed irritated.

                “enfar! eest teh rudl marulath riidy ar wuatt?”

                “But my lord, you must understand! The construction and the research take time! It might be years before we finish!”

                “dent dizpaint i infuor! eenywe, berny das brot heez frent ent thair anoin mees! mai brengz dem too u ter lekk uftar!”

                Then, the screen switched off. Suddenly, a door opened and a triceratops, a protoceratops and a hadrosaur (not in the normal sizes or colours) entered the room.

                “What have I done to deserve this?!” Enfawr called out to no one in particular.

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #21: Day 197

                I am fed up with these silly dinosaurs! I don’t know what I will do! They’re driving me crazy! They’re driving the workers crazy; they’re driving the crew crazy!  Oh no! Here they come agai

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #34: Day 377

                Lord Enfawr was walking in a corridor of the slowly being constructed Rhoddwr Marwolaeth inspecting the work of the workers, when suddenly he was blocked by a wagon carrying a shark.

                “What is a shark doing in the middle of the corridor?!?!?!” he yelled.

                “This shark has a name you know!” the shark spoke with an Australian accent.

                “Are you Lord Enfawr?” asked a man in monotone voice.

                “Yes, why?”

                “Sign here please!” he said handing him a paper and a pen.

                “What am I signing exactly?” he asked while putting his signature on the paper.

                “This shark delivery!”

                Enfawr saw on the paper a logo saying “Shark Deliveries: Any Time, Any Place!”

                “And why would you be delivering a shark here?!?!?!”

                “How should I know? They just told me to bring this shark here!” said the man in his ever-monotone voice.

                “Why is it so hard to work in here?!”

                “Hem hem, sir?”

                “What is it?!”

                “Lord thedude commanded me to pass on to you that it is his personal will that the Rhoddwr Marwolaeth be equipped with its very own shark to add to its guard!”

                “And you tell me that now?!”

                “Here’s the bill!” the man handed Enfawr another paper.

                “HOW MUCH?!?!?!”

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #56: Day 546

                “My Lord, I am proud to announce that the Unverse Drive is ready and operational!” Lord Enfawr said to thedude through the screen.

                “gud gud! an wut abat the reder matheras?”

                “I am afraid the Rhoddwr Marwolaeth is still in progress, my Lord!”

                “hm! et lis uee hev the yunvres dirv! me hos e msian far yus! vsit the oonivars teh dsans cem form en breensg ich mitee worors, de jaws end dee ewacs ter werc fer mees!”

                “My Lord, I think you mean Jedi instead of Jawas and Wookies instead of Ewoks!” a voice was heard from the background.

                “ar yas sagust im mek mistek deed?”

                “No sir! Of course not!”

                “gud!”

                “I will do as you command, my Lord! These mighty warriors you speak of will be added to your ranks!”

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #78: Day 732

                “Sir, I have some alarming news concerning the Unverse Drive!” the lead scientist of the Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Research Facility said as he burst in.

                “What is it?” Lord Enfawr asked.

                “It would seem that the frequent uses of the Drive, like the ones we do, can cause a disturbance to the time space continuum leading to undesired holes leading to and from this Universe!”

                “What does that mean?”

                “It means that objects and people may accidentally pass from this Universe to another or the reverse without our wanting it. Furthermore, if there was a great release of energy combined with the destruction of the Unverse Drive, like an explosion, could lead to such a great disturbance that would lead to a local merge of not just different Universes, but also different timelines of theirs. This could be even more dangerous!”

                “Nonsense! Even if such things were possible, the Rhoddwr Marwolaeth is far too well protected for anything to hurt it and it seems like you suggest it might explode. This lack of faith won’t get you far, remember this! Now, go back to work! You are dismissed.

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #80: Day 753

                Lord Enfawr, having just woken up, entered the control room still in his pyjamas with his hair unbrushed, a coffee in his one hand and a banana on the other. With his eyes half-closed with sleepiness looked at the Jawas manning the place. He hardly noticed a tall black figure in the corner.

                “You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor!” Darth Vader spoke and he started choking Lord Enfawr...

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #82: Day 761

                We finally persuaded Darth Vader to cooperate. He even taught me how to do this choking trick. Meanwhile, we have noticed some more unidentified minifigures wandering the halls of the station; some of our workers are missing. Maybe, that scientist guy was right!

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #97: Day 835

                Today is my birthday. I was surprised to find that Lord thedude remembered and sent me a Happy Birthday card. When I opened it, though, it splashed my face with paint. I also received a card from some guy calling himself the Overlord going with some hundred of boxes of DIY nindroids. I have no idea who the guy is, but we could use the nindroids! Robert gave me...

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #101: Day 868

                We have begun developing a new better Unverse Drive. However, that will be sent to Lord thedude when finished for his own use. It seems to be trickier, though, if we want to avoid the side effects.

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #156: Day 1345

                Lord thedude has sent some of his minions from another Universe called the Borg or something to assist in the construction of the battle station with their technology. They don’t seem very trustworthy to me!

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #181: Day 1734

                The Jawas and Ewoks have gone on strike, because they want a higher salary! This is absurd! But how am I going to explain this to Lord thedude? I’m afraid this could evolve into a riot!

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #182: Day 1739

                Ha! I have managed to trick the Jawas and Ewoks out of strike by installing an ice cream vending machine! I’m so brilliant!

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth Log Entry #197: Day 1989

                Lord thedude is sending Barney the Dinosaur to oversee the construction of the Rhoddwr Marwolaeth! We are doomed!

It has been impossible to restore further data.

Initiating secondary file restoration sequence...

Files restored: 0.

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Terminating secondary file restoration sequence...

Final results: 0 files restored.

Connecting with Rhoddwr Marwolaeth main database to download missing files...

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Connecting with Rhoddwr Marwolaeth main database has failed.

Rhoddwr Marwolaeth cannot be detected.

Searching local database for information about Rhoddwr Marwolaeth...

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Rhoddwr Marwolaeth is destroyed.

Searching local database for information about Rhoddwr Marwolaeth 2...

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Information not found. Information not provided.

TEH RADR MARWOLOTH TOO DESNT ICSIZT!!!

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