A Grumpy man, a Grey man and a Laggy man

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**A Grumpy man, a Grey man and a Laggy man** is the 36th episode of Assertive Acquisitions. This episode builds onto the roleplay and lore parts of the series with players playing as members of the Space Pirates faction, confronting the crew about the ship they stole in the last episode.

## Synopsis

### Repairing The Wasabi

Having learnt in the last episode that it could be used to repair ships, Splitsie flies the Wasabi to the trade station to repair the damages done to it in the Pirate Vulture encounter two episodes ago. The station repairs it for 309,569 credits, though they miss a light, making Splitsie feel scammed.

### Encounter Section-F

On the return trip from the trade station, Splitsie comes across one of the 'mayday signal' wrecks, which he suspected to be the "ghost ship" that Capac briefly saw in the last episode. Splitsie directs Capac and TFE to investigate it, them heading to it in the Pull-O-Conflict and H-Tram respectively. While waiting for Capac and TFE to arrive, Splitsie notices and destroys a gatling turret on the wreck.

As the others arrive, Splitsie encroaches within one kilometer of the wreck and it suddenly launches two escape pods in different directions. Splitsie and TFE chase down the escape pods, which they have to slowly approach by jetpack due to them accelerating to the speed limit. TFE isn't able to reach his escape pod, so he cuts his losses and returns to the H-Tram.

Meanwhile, Capac is left with the main wreck. As he locks his landing gear to it, it suddenly and inexplicably accelerates to very high speeds. Capac manages to slow it down again, and being equidistant from the carrier and the trade station, asks where Splitsie wants it to be brought to. Splitise wants it to be captured before it is brought to the trade station to be sold for scrap, though Capac ends up deciding to bring it to the trade station first.

Having captured his escape pod but winding up over fifty kilometers away, Splitsie requests a pick up. TFE however points out that he might not have enough battery power for his jump drives to do that. Because of this, TFE, who had returned to base after having found that Capac had flown away, adds solar panels to the Marlin. While reconfiguring it, TFE witnesses the Marlin also get suddenly and inexplicably accelerated to very high speeds, though it slows itself back down again with its thrusters.

### Capturing the Wreck

Having brought the wreck to just outside the trade station's safe zone, Capac attempts to board it under instructions from Splitsie to capture it by hacking its computers. Capac quickly gets mowed down by an interior turret, causing him to get angry at Splitsie, whom he thought had claimed to have pacified the wreck.

Splitsie soon arrives in the Wasabi, carrying the captured escape pod, and the two search the wreck for loot.

Next, they tug the captured wreck and escape pod into the trade station's safe zone, with the intention to sell them to the station for scrap. Splitsie calls TFE to come to the station in the H-Tram, in hopes of browsing its available suit upgrades together.

### Space Pirate Confrontation

While they are on the trade station, Capac notices a large ship stopped just outside the station's safe zone: the "SPRT.Honour Amongst Mortals". Capac asks if he should go and say hello to them while exiting the airlock, meanwhile Splitsie notices that they seem to be coming in to them.

Splitsie quickly finishes selling the wreck they captured ("Encounter Section-F"), making 14,506,646 credits, though he cannot sell the captured escape pod due to not being sure what its name is in the menu.

TFE notes that there are multiple people in the station, people with guns who are looking rather threatening. Splitsie turns to see the space pirates: a person in a black space suit with a skull painted over the helmet pointing a gun directly at him, quickly joined by a person in a shiny golden suit and a person in a red suit with a wasteland scavenger helmet. A person in a maroon assault suit also points a gun at Splitsie's back.

The pirates accuse the crew of stealing their ship. Splitsie denies that they had stolen any ships, but the pirate calls the bluff and clarifies with a description of the ship that Splitsie, TFE, and Capac captured and sold in the last episode. Splitsie says "Oh, the wreck?" to which the pirate refutes that it was a wreck, saying that just had "a slight momentary explosive decompression."

Splitsie asks if the pirates were trying to get the ship back, and tells them that the ship had been sold. Hearing this, the pirate changes tactics to expecting the large amount of money that the ship had been sold for. Likely realizing that he no longer had the money due to having spent a lot of it, Splitsie turns to TFE and confides in him that he may have made a mistake. Capac laments that "once again, Splitsie had doomed us all." TFE and Capac single out Splitsie to the pirates as being the one with the money, and Splitsie shuffles his way to the trade station's ATM. The pirate laments that "these guys aren't the pirates I thought they were."

As it did in the last episode, the ATM displays "access denied" when Splitsie tries to interact with it, so he uses the ATM not working as his excuse for why he cannot pay the space pirates. After hearing Splitsie say twice that he cannot pay them, the pirates decide that they can pay with their lives. The pirates open fire; their rifles somehow not being disabled by the safe zone. Splitsie and TFE evacuate the trade station (Capac already being outside).

### Escape From The Trade Station

The trio make their ways to the respective ships. Capac flies the Pull-O-Conflict out of the safe zone, and Splitsie and TFE magnetically lock their ships onto it. Capac boosts away, making use of his extra lifting thrusters that were used to help lift the carrier off of the moon back in episode 33, and jumps them away from the Trade Station.

TFE asks how they are going to get back to the carrier, as they are now over five hundred kilometers away from it, ending the episode on a cliffhanger.