Knife Under My Pillow

"**Knife Under My Pillow**" is a song written by Maggie Lindemann, Alex Lahey & Joshua Murty and produced by Joshua Murty. Taken from Lindemann's debut extended play *PARANOIA*, the song was released as the EP's first single on August 28, 2020. It also marked Lindemann's first released on her self-funded label swixxzaudio.

## Background & Composition

In March, 2020, Lindemann posted the phrase "knife under my pillow" on her Twitter, which sparked speculation that this was possibly a lyric or a title from an upcoming song. A few months after, on August 20, 2020, Lindemann posted a video of herself picking up a guitar and a snippet of the song's intro, and then, 4 days later, she announced the single.

In an EP walkthrough with Sweety High, Lindemann explained about the song's meaning that:

"It's based on my paranoia. When I was living in my old house, I had extreme paranoia. I would always have to call people and tell them to come over because I thought someone was in my house trying to kidnap me or something. So yeah, I used to literally sleep with a knife under my pillow."
In her podcast, the singer went into a deeper explanation about the paranoia she started developing a few years prior where she firmly believed whenever she was alone at her house there was someone inside with her. According to Lindemann, this paranoia got worse over the years given that at first she would think there was someone inside her house but once she checked there was no one she would calm down, but it later got to a point where she had to check her whole house at least three times, even opening cabinets and checking small corners, before locking herself in her room and spending hours awake, not being able to fall asleep, because the belief that there wass someone inside her house was still there. She also mentioned that it even got to the point that whenever she kept an actual knife under her pillow to feel safer and whenever she heard a noise she'd call a friend and ask them to come over to help her since she believed someone had broken in. In the podcast she also mentioned remembering that her biggest fear as a child was that someone would break into her house and kidnap her.

Lindemann revealed that the song was made in late 2019 and in different interviews throughout 2021 she mentioned she still kept an actual knife under her pillow

## Lyrics

[Verse 1]

Sorry, I don't mean to freak you out

But I hear someone inside my house

Heart racing, keeping me awake

[Pre-Chorus]

Paranoia slipping in

Checking all the locks again

It's so loud inside my head

[Chorus]

Got me feeling paralyzed

I can't sleep without the lights

A chill is running down my spine

Staring out the window

A knife under my pillow

But it's all inside my mind

Oh, I'm holding on for dear life

Why's this happen to me all the time?

Got me staring out the window

A knife under my pillow

But it's all inside my mind

[Verse 2]

I know I've made this call before

Not crying wolf, I'm pretty sure

There's just some fears you can't erase

[Pre-Chorus]

Paranoia slipping in

Checking all the locks again

It's so loud inside my head

[Chorus]

Got me feeling paralyzed

I can't sleep without the lights

A chill is running down my spine

Staring out the window

A knife under my pillow

But it's all inside my mind

Oh, I'm holding on for dear life

Why's this happen to me all the time?

Got me staring out the window

A knife under my pillow

But it's all inside my mind

[Outro]

(But it's all inside my—)

But it's all inside my mind

## Music video & official live performances

Maggie Lindemann - Knife Under My Pillow
Maggie Lindemann - Knife Under My Pillow (live on VENNTV The Download)Maggie Lindemann - Knife Under My Pillow (Live in Los Angeles)Maggie Lindemann - Knife Under My Pillow (Live At The Roxy)