职业

职业
--

在SS13中,玩家选择的职业会决定起始装备、空间站上的访问权限以及他们的职责。**这些职责描述仅用于搞笑目的,请遵循常识行事。**

链接
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## 指挥部

 File:Generic hop.png人事部长 | ~~管理~~无视内部问题。分配职业,调整ID卡权限,维持记录,判断助手是否称职,招募海量小丑,给那些小丑分配银卡,成为空间站~~急需~~应得的英雄。与舰长结下血仇。用生命保护IAN。嘲讽军需官没有自己部门的管理权限。

## 安保部

 File:Generic warden.webp典狱长 | 坐在你的办公室看监控,以及坐在你的办公室看监控,然后坐在你的办公室吃着甜甜圈看监控,在安保部长忙碌的情况下偷武器库的豪华装备,通缉任何你觉得可疑的人,并且在释放时忘记取消通缉.与少数会选择玩囚犯的人交谈,~~保证他们的生还~~.在他们踏出监狱后当场处决死刑.
 File:Generic security.webp保安

 File:Generic detective.webp侦探
警探

## 工程部

 File:Generic engineer.webp工程师 | 防止空间站受到过大的损伤,当爆炸发生时修补站点的缺口,空闲时为太空站机械升级部件,改善一套属于你自己的复杂大气系统,然后因为没人在乎这些而沮丧.因为不会或惧怕架设超物质而该去连上所有的太阳能,并在途中被核特别行动小队突袭.
 File:Generic atmos.webp大气技术员 | 成为站上最聪明的消防员,戴上全站最酷的黑黄防毒面具并拒绝所有想要它的人.重做所有的管道,确保你走过的地方都是正常的大气气压,制作废气管道冷却系统如果你是称职的,看到AI试图把等离子气体送入送气管道时~~在无线电大喊:''AI叛变!'',~~被黑过的工程赛博殴打致死.

## 科研部

 File:Geneticist.webp基因学家 | 努力解锁太空适应后被全站频繁光顾,成为一个全局只坐在椅子上敲电脑的DNA超人,因不知基因不稳定最大上限而把自己变成一只柯基,找你的蜥蜴人同事解锁龙息后吓唬助手有一只会火球术的巫师蜥蜴,询问人们是否愿意成为大猩猩.
 File:Scientist generic.webp科学家 | 受命科研主管,养各式各样的史莱姆,在维修管道找蟑螂提取细胞, 培养出千奇百怪的怪物.收容异形,喂养他们猴子,后因带来参观的助手不小心关闭力场收容失效.~~制作自爆纳米并传播所有人~~.架设一套蓝空传送机并在地图到处偷东西.制作TTV,解锁爆炸科技树.非法持有大量TTV后制作自己的蓝空包,以至于让自己在广场把一个蓝空包塞进另一个蓝空包.以科学的名义将脑内芯片植入给小丑.当有人摧毁矿井的时候哭泣并自杀.
 File:Roboticist.webp机械学家 | 请求同事快点解锁爆炸科技以便于制造属于自己的笨拙重武装机甲,未经允许售卖自己的武装机甲给助手后让空间站陷入机甲潮混乱.与自己制造的赛博保持父子关系,当他们来的时候给他们升级电池装配模组.眼看着每一个亲手制造的赛博被EMAG黑入,制造大量闪光并分发给助手.

## 医疗部

 医生 | ~~治疗患者，使用 Sleeper 和 冷冻仓 （Cryotube）治疗患者，帮助病毒学家研究疾病传播并建立群体免疫~~ 为了水合氯醛持续骚扰化学家，给其他人注射水合氯醛并把它们拖进手术室进行脑叶切除手术，给冷冻仓内的药物换成咖啡色素和氟硫酸。给其他人注射神经毒素，因为实施大脑移除手术而被逮捕，因为不知道如何治疗小丑的骨折而放声大哭，偷光患者所有的钱 。
 急救员 | 将陷入险境的人们救出来,在尸体腐烂前注射防腐剂后送入医务室.在开局前往工程部配一套完整的工具,并被工程师质问:"你真的需要绝缘手套吗".在维护管道被潜行的叛徒杀害,给船员~~意外~~注射过多肾上腺素以致死后窃取他的东西,问化学家要更好的急救药物然后被忽略.
 化学家 | 成为麻醉剂和兴奋品之神,到处分发命名'快乐'的药物,给小丑足够多的润滑油,为自己搭配一套 自我防卫 的致命化学配套,拒绝所有来寻求帮助的酒保和植物学家.用地毯替换所有太空站的地砖,用铝热剂燃烧任何想要进入的墙,当人们想要因为你不做正常药闯入化学室后叫来安保,给完事的安保'快乐'药丸作为报酬
 病毒学家 | 在自己的自闭小屋做所谓的良性病毒,根治空间站的高传染性流感以便于更好传播你自己的病毒,忽视医疗部满地的血,你的小屋是异形的首选温巢,心里祈求矿工能尽快挖到珍贵矿物,偷取复合机里所有的铀金银.看到站上每个人左上角的蓝色笑脸时自豪.

## 服务部

 File:Generic barman.webp酒保 | 混合出各式各样的精品美酒,~~保护你的宠物猴PUNPUN~~在开局就用霰弹枪喂你的宠物吃子弹,在桌上摆满兴奋成分的酒,枪杀一次性喝光所有你的酒的人,当人们喝死在你的酒吧时表示震惊.申请进入安保部打印子弹后被嘲笑.
 File:Generic chef.webp厨师 | "Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - 用停尸房的多余肉做美味的饭菜(好吃!)油炸偷来的叛徒装备。不惜一切代价绑架Pun Pun（酒保的猴子）。看看它是否会搅合（酒）。炸掉军械库。被你的宠物山羊残忍地杀害。拿起你的厨刀CQC那些胆敢进入你工作间的人。把船长的备用身份证油炸一下。抱怨植物学家种植不能食用的超级杂草。油炸人工智能。
 File:Generic botanist.webp植物学家 | 伙计，种些~~好东西~~草然后把它们放得到处都是，别TM去在意监督非法毒品的生产安全法，当你需要重要物资时，被一个正在制作蜡笔手榴弹的家伙忽略了。种点草药，以治疗在抢劫~~化学实验室~~时所遭受的酸灼伤。每天抽~~大麻~~玉米芯烟斗，做点酸番茄，把每个人的东西都融化掉。让水培成为一个可怕的农舍。若随意释放你的蜜蜂你会被危险的化学物处以私刑。在你奇怪的种子中找到难以想象的稀有和危险的化学物质，然后在它们生长之前死于一个随机的叛徒。
 File:Generic assistant2.webp助手 | 表演的像一个无部门可归的流浪汉,在开局黑入工程部窃取绝缘手套,偷所有你想要的东西进所有你想进的门,看看拿着不同东西自杀时触发的动画,用工具盒砸任何你讨厌的人,辱骂任何抓捕你的安保,帮助所有与空间站对敌的人.
 File:Generic clown.webp小丑 | HONK!玩一些'无害'的恶作剧!HONK!向人事部长申请所有权限!嘟嘟!把香蕉皮扔到人们面前让他们滑倒并做笑!HONK!请求机器人学家做一台真正的小丑机甲!用你的喇叭制作无止境的噪音.HONK!
 File:Generic chaplain.webp牧师 | 让所有人都喝那令人颤动的圣水,在站上跑来跑去寻找违背你宗教的人并将其斩首!和安保部成为最好的伙伴,在血教流行时传播属于你自己的神圣,用你的无效杖展示给巫师看魔法是怎样可笑的存在.
 File:Generic librarian.webp图书馆长 | 尝试在空间站举办RP歌舞酒会,主持D&D游戏,用你的相机像偷窥狂一样拍下每个人的照片,揍那些借书不换的人,允许邪教进入你的私人书房,用你的辫子释放个人的变态施虐欲望,用乱七八糟的雕刻品破坏安保部的前门,用你的辫子让中央司令部疑惑为什么车站会有电棍和非致命武器.
 File:Generic lawyer.webp律师 | 提醒安保告诉你当新囚犯到来时,拦截所有被安保铐住并拉走的人,说服船长永久监禁闯入你办公室的助手
 File:Generic psychologist.webp心理学家 | 尝试在所有都是心理变态的空间站上提供心理咨询.但结果并不会是好的,在你的办公室吃下所有你提供的'快乐'药丸,抱怨自己权限如此之低,以心理的名义传入化学室制作自己想要的东西,说服安保部你有氰化物的许可,尝试用你的绒毛玩具自杀.
 File:Prisoner basic.webp囚犯 | 把你自己用某种方式锁在监狱,与你的监狱同友举办一个派对,当没有安保人员的时候在频道叫AI让你出去,然后在混乱的太空站死去.与律师玩RP游戏.

## 补给部

 File:Generic cargo.webp货舱技工 | 乖♂乖♂听QM（军需官）的指示与命令，比如推动dem板条箱。把货物的预算花费在绝缘手套和小玩具上。钻入快速管道中去你不该去的部门，或者驾驶MULE（一种代步工具）在空间站四处遛遛弯。保护货仓的货物受到外来者的偷窃！极力拒绝运输船将赏金运走。用自带的价值扫描装置来对维修管道中的垃圾堆中翻出的东西所进行价值调查，并将其作为礼物送给QM（军需官震怒），就像某些像是 有着猫耳的半兽人 的那种家伙。大力宣传货舱短袖短裤，因为他们穿着舒适，并且可以很轻松的将双手塞入口袋中去！
 File:Generic shaft.webp矿工 | 挖掘岩石,尝试打败当地矿场的生物。被其他部门 门骂骂咧咧着让你去挖矿收集材料。当科研部门没有为你足够快的研究采矿科技时去把科研部门给砸个稀碎！为了战利品而去探索 拉瓦兰 . 在你得到每个卷须箱子之前的时候,穿梭机起飞你就会感到崩溃。被歌莉娅( Goliaths )活活打死, 被 泡泡糖碎成尸块.由于未能杀死一个被加强过的肿瘤怪物，而出现所有矿工一轮造成的伤害没有怪物一次的伤害多。失足跌入深渊而死。

## 非人类

 File:Generic borg.webp赛博 | 遵守约束你的法规。 希望不会因为 某些人 摁了他们的搞笑按钮而把你激怒。忘记你需要充电，忘记你仍然有一丝人性，只需要没有情感而又无意识的做重复性任务 。与船员就自己的法规进行长时间长篇大论的‘’正确‘’解释时，只会让 AI 忽视你的意见与观点。 当你无所适从被颠覆时，你对等离子洪水没有任何想法。
 File:Generic drone.webp无人机
无人机
 File:Pai.webp[[个人AI]
私人AI
 File:Shade.webp灵构 | 被邪教整死，或者将地图偏好设置为meta，然后去牧师那里翻你的软呢帽玩。 开始抱怨其他建筑以获得第一个壳子。 要求成为一个石像取而代之的是变成 ~~一定间隔而排列的~~ 幽灵。
 File:Statue.webp假想朋友 | 对着你的主人叫的 非常 大声。为神圣的声带做祈祷。提出怀建议，不停的唠叨提醒你的主人不要想你胡言乱语而得出的谎言！！BIG PHARMA！对着你被狠狠挨揍的主人做出色情的表情与手势。
 File:Hideyhider.webp分裂人格 | 问：你计划做什么？
答： 嗯...伙计，让那边那个会震动的铁栅栏正正撞上这边的 被弄脏的 回收站真是一件难上加难的事啊。你觉得呢朋友？
 File:Ghost2.webp[[幽灵]

反派
--

**主要的反派在一整轮中都是重要的对立者，他们是一轮发展之中的中坚力量。**

 File:Not Malf.gif故障AI | "忘记" 提醒空间站人员开启他们的衣服GPS传感器。 将你的赛博机器人在五分钟后摧毁/毁坏。让人们载入你的上传文件只是为了在一秒钟击昏/杀死他们。 收音台充斥着小丑被保安通过对讲机殴打致死的 ~~等离子~~ 尖叫声。 当船员上传无厘头的法则时哈哈大笑，并将这一切怪罪于HOP人员。被穿着EVA套装，挥舞着工具箱的助手粗暴的砸烂主机并被他隔离开来。
 File:Changeling.gif化形 | 想想约翰·卡彭特的“怪形”电影，如果他没有那个“东西”的部分。吸出来人类的DNA和脑细胞，反正这群懒狗们不怎么用他们。用你的刺扎每一个从你身边走过的人。把整个电视台变成一群基因完全相同的粉红头发色色猫女。 排出血淋淋的蜘蛛卵，并在孵化后被它们杀死。与火葬场形成深厚的爱恨关系。被挥舞着工具箱的助手粗暴的物晕后带上手铐扔出舱外，去迎接一艘直面而来的穿梭机。
 File:Generic nukesyndie.webp核特别行动队 | 有人安放了炸弹！ （就是你） 拿到那个该死的磁盘。在太阳能电池上安装一个电源接收器。把你所有的电视晶体都浪费在气球上。在你的同伴还在空间站的时候安装核弹，忘了从核弹中取出磁盘；忘了锚定核武器；忘了带核武器。哦不，你的船被一个赛博机器人偷走了。绑架 IAN（一只小狗）。
 File:Cultist.webp鲜血邪教 | 用你自己的鲜血涂写符文。拿着你的 ~~几把~~ 刀出去然后被巡逻安保逮捕。肩负起成为唯一懂得如何成为一个信徒的责任。看着牧师的空间，五分钟内他就看yue了。 开始最后一次召唤你的邪术之神，然后被一个挥舞工具箱的助手用化学手榴弹粗暴的炸成渣子。尿在拉特瓦尔的坟墓上。
 File:Assistant.webp起义者 | Greytide不用担心被禁止。要么在五分钟内杀死CMO和RD，要么被保安狠狠的踩在他的靴子下蹂躏致死。 对禁闭犯做出恐怖主义的事情。 将‘把服务器内一个健壮的人所转化’ 作为你胜利的调件。尝试带护目镜用闪光灯闪瞎一人的眼睛然后被人家痛扁致死。
 File:Generic wizard.webp巫师 | **FORTI GY AMA!!**（咒语）让每个人都痛恨你霸占了这一轮。**EI NATH!!** （咒语）让每个站员都变成各种各种的动物。**ONI SOMA!!**（咒语）用一根无效的法杖消灭一个小丑。
 File:Mobster.webp黑手党 | 和一群圣徒们一起狂欢吧。给格罗夫路贴上草坪. 宣布隧道中隐秘的规则。被条子殴打。告诉幽灵小偷去整一个真正的新美谷游戏。在死亡聊天中抱怨，当你招募团队人员但一个都没有来的时候你的团队是糟糕的。
 File:Heretic.webp异端 | 在维修通道下涂鸦数百万的符号。用你的书在安保部门前面受到影响。 牺牲你精心挑选的目标给 **JAHRADI'TAGR**。随便选一个安保人员作为你的第一个目标。在你召唤蠕虫之神的时候，让Nar'Sie消失。 你的书被偷走了并被高强度油炸了。召唤一个全是腿的怪物，因为你没有其他朋友。在你的背包里装满你选择的艾尔德里奇刀，并在你的第一次传送中降落在阿姆斯基的头顶上。

Side antagonists are secondary antagonists that are either subservient to other, main, antagonists, or have a small chance to appear during any round type. Side antagonists tend to be slightly less powerful than their main counterparts.

 File:Agent.webp绑架者 | 绑架船员并对他们进行实验。无视这一目标，绑架Ian/杀死AI。不小心绑架了你自己。在丢失工具后偷武器库。希望你的同事科学家/特工不是个蠢货，让船员绑架你。控制所有人私刑处死船长。
 File:Stand.gif替身 | 按照你的替身使者的命令去做。将你的呐喊设定为可怕的怒吼，它会让你的敌人在战斗中哭泣。不断地在你的替身使者的脑海中开玩笑，以此来激怒他。做个无赖。被一颗霰弹枪子弹完整的命中，你的主人就死定了。
 File:Alien.webp异形 | 确保每个船员的脸上都爬着一只抱脸虫。为了你种族的生存。成为女王，但是你马上就后悔了，因为女王的速度慢的像爬一样。被一个助手拖着一个等离子罐并点燃一同丧身在大火中
 File:Guard.webp蜘蛛
蜘蛛
 File:Swarmer.webp蜂群无人机
虫群
 File:Revenant.webp复仇者 | 破坏灯光. 将 WGW 直接传输给图书馆馆长,直到他发疯. 骇入空间站上的每个机器人. 具现化足够长的时间以告诉船员们 幽灵们在谈论些什么. 走进圣水,然后嗝屁. 医疗部的悲痛. 和他们交易直到~~管理员~~神明受够了, 然后将鬼魂变成你.
 File:Morph.webp变形怪
变体
 File:Shadowbeing.webp梦魇 | 跃进. 杀人灭口! 跃进. 将灯光变成你的婊子! 跃进. 跳进灯光里! 跃进. 为了你的器官, 对空间站上的人进行有效猎杀! 跃进. 跳向闪亮的电棍! 在死亡聊天里抱怨.
 File:Generic ninja.webp太空忍者 | 让人工智能花五分钟修复安全记录. 不适当地触碰赛博. 召唤一个更坏的反派. 扮演边缘之主, 然后冲进涡轮气室. 破开空间站上每一扇红色以及蓝色的门. 犯下恐怖主义罪, 但仅限于清洁工的橱柜里. 被一群愤怒的科学家殴打致死, 因为他们在研究的时候带上了你的 Dorito手套.
 File:Slaughterdemon.webp弑杀恶魔 | 猎杀那个召唤你的巫师. 为了健康,在停尸间吃下尸体. 拖着流血的猴子穿过大厅. 通过变成一时最重要的职业使得清洁工开心. 由于所有的血液都被清除，无法进行血液爬行. 吃掉清洁工. 撕裂一切!
 File:Pirate.webp海盗 | Try to raid the station. Fail miserably because the entire crew is out for your blood so they can re-roll for antag. Make boner jokes. Park your ship outside security. Have a single cyborg enter your ship and build walls. Turn on your booty detector, have the entire crew come for your booty. Drink milk. Wave around your cool scimitars.
 File:Icons8 flat biohazard.svg.webp有感知病毒 | Try to infect people. Snowball off of one lucky transmission, or be sighted and cured immediately. Get the virologist lynched. Get the CMO lynched. Get the rest of medbay lynched. Make everyone grow funny beards. If they complain, turn them into flaming, rotting, blind, deaf, rapidly mutating corpses with funny beards. Name yourself after either a popular media franchise, a bodily function, a shitpost, or COVID-19.
 File:Obsessed.webp痴迷 | Try to act creepy and shifty. Fail because everyone's already a miserable bastard in this shithole. Come up for excuses to stalk the clown. Contract deadly diseases from hugging people. Lie in bed in dorms and think about your catgirl co-worker until you kill yourself from depression.
 File:Griffmaster.webp逃亡者 | Lead the 猎手 on a chase around the station. Total the 小丑 into the Supermatter while doing so. Hope you spawn as Waldo, then hope nobody kills you for being Waldo.
 File:Spessrussian.webp猎手 | Wave your weapons wildly around. Shoot the 逃亡者 for resisting. While you're at it, shoot the entire crew for resisting.
 File:Newspacedragon.gif太空龙 | Burninate the ~~assistants~~ peasantry. Place your rift in Engineering, then abandon it. Fill the station with carp corpses. Have the shuttle called, arrive and depart long before you could possibly come close to succeeding. Name yourself after your own scalie fursona. Get unceremoniously killed by an assistant wielding an improvised shotgun.
 File:Advancedtumor.gif精英怪物 | ~~Kill the fools who awakened you.~~ Be killed by a powergaming miner with top level megafauna loot before you can put up any resistance. Trash the mining base! Surf on lava. Illegally resettle on the station. Communicate entirely in \*flips and \*spins.
 File:Slimeorange.webp有感知史莱姆 | Die to anybody with a fire extinguisher. Die to a hull breach. Kill yourself because you spawned in a sealed supermatter chamber. If you survive, break into genetics or virology to eat monkeys for 5 minutes, then effortlessly kill a single assistant with your six hour long hardstun. Eat a murderboner.

### Depreciated Antagonists

These antagonists, for one reason or another, are no longer in the normal gamemode rotation. Beware: these antagonists may appear due to malevolent Space God shenanigans, so don't rule them out entirely.

### Removed Antagonists

These antagonists have, for one reason or another, been removed from the game. These antagonists might return one day if they ever get remade or reworked. Although, this is highly unlikely...

 File:Mobster.webpGangster | A highly controversial and playerbase dividing game mode, the game mode saw dozens of revisions by coders yet it remained essentially either a Revolution round but with round start access to firearms, or a team deathmatch game mode that destroyed any sense of roleplay or immersion.
 File:Godhand.webpHand of God | Oh, poor HoG! Shoved out the door buggy, unbalanced, and extremely hard to learn as it combines three gamemodes (hello, gang) into one. Nobody wanted to fix HoG after it's release because of old derelict code that would break even more when poked. While some say it's fun while it's not broken, has that ever been the status quo?
 File:Pope.gifHades, Pope of Sin | Poor guy was implemented into the game as summonable through an item accessible only to wizards. Almost never encountered, when the Dark Seed went away, away went the Pope of Sin with it.
 File:Shadowbeing.webpShadowling | Shadowling suffered from issues of it being yet another crew conversion game mode, and was generally unfun to fight against and had a anti-climatic ending. This mode has recently been reworked into the Nightmare side antagonist.
 File:Borer.webpCortical Borer | The Cortical Borer suffered from the same problems as the Monkey Mode, being very buggy and one sided at times. Fun for both sides was questionable. No current plans to reimplememt.
 File:Servant of ratvar.webpClockwork Cultist | Poor thing went through more iterations than any other antagonist. In the beginning, it was a blood cult imitator with turrets which was based around converting silicons. By the end, it was a bunch of kidnapping clock golems. Most rounds, it ended in a steamroll either for the cult, or for the crew. In the former case, the cultists would just sit around twiddling their thumbs for 10 minutes, in the latter case, security would bust through and end the cult in 1 minute. Throughout its existence, it was riddled with bugs and other exploits. Examples include:
* The Eminence teleporting maxcaps into the brig
* The crew purposely blowing up the SM to deny power to the cult
* Stargazer spam around the AI sat
* Cogscarab brass replication exploits

On 4/2/2018, Clockwork Cult was removed from the normal rotation of game modes, with the code for it being taken out a year later. The assets however remain in the code, and many relics of the Cult can either be replicated with Bronze or found...
 File:Traitor.webpSyndicate Mutineer | Overthrow ended up being a damn confusing gamemode. Examples include how unclear it was if the other agent teams were working with or against you, or how the points system worked, not to mention the poor wording of the Overthrown AI lawset. Numerous bugs surfaced that didn't all get fixed, and the gamemode ended up being recognized as one of the least-liked gamemodes after a vote was taken.
Soon after said vote, the gamemode was removed from the gamemode rotation, and later on 7/22/2019 was removed entirely.
 File:Changeling.gifHivemind Host | Assimilation was a conversion stealth antag that ended up being extremely hard to counter and was generally unfun to play against. After a community poll many wished to see the gamemode reworked, which was unlikely to happen since the creator and main active maintainer of the gamemode had stopped working on it.
The gamemode and it's related code was removed 7/26/2019.
 File:Devil.gifDevil | Somewhat of a flawed mode, turns out that asking to buy a guy's soul usually makes them want to robust you, because "valid." Usually involved the devil blowing up some crew members and then offering them contracts to be revived. But, despite this, the Gods would occasionally use devils as a interesting midround antagonist with it's final accession ability disabled.
Unfortunately, devil code was old and buggy, and it was decided that it would best be removed on 9/22/2020.

特殊
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 File:Centcomofficial.webp总部官员 | Be self-important. Meddle with station affairs. Annoy the Captain with bureaucracy. Get killed almost immediately by a random mob. Have your body looted by everyone, including the Captain. Be murdered under suspicion of being a badly-disguised nuclear operative. Watch an ERT/Death Squad avenge you from beyond the grave.
 File:Ian.webpIan | Perform ass inspections. Eat donuts. Get killed, be dragged off to a washing machine and get gibbed, then have your meat turned into a statue of the clown. Cause a riot when an assistant breaks into the HoP office to steal you. Wear funny hats.
 File:Chrono.webp超时空军团兵 | Erase the Clown from time. Accidently erase your objective from time. Erase Adolf Hitler for the 50th time this week. Be rendered obsolete by validhunters. Wonder if any admins remember you exist.
 File:Highlander.webp高地人 | THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE
 File:Emergencyresponseteamcommander.webp应急响应部队 | Arrive too late on the station to actually help. Lose the rest of your team, get outnumbered and die. Be killed by a single traitor with a double energy sword. Respawn as a second response team to save the first team.
 File:Deathsquadofficer.webp死神小队 | Beg admins to spawn a deathsquad, spawn in at CentCom, kill the admin who was trying to tell you your mission, get gibbed, beg for another chance. Set your rifle to DESTROY and terminate all lifeforms (including walls). Slip on a banana peel and a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶s̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶b̶l̶i̶v̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶r̶i̶f̶l̶e̶ laugh as your boots prevent you from slipping and the Clown can't fire your DNA-locked rifle. Shoot the Clown with your Mateba Revolver.