Learning to Fight Part Two

"*See, if you ignore the five or six shots I took to the head there, I've got great energy.*"
―Erik
Learning to Fight Part Two (also titled Learning to Fight Part 2: Respect) is the 148th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette and the second video in the Learning to Fight series. It was released on April 29, 2022.

## Summary

Erik talks about the Creator Clash and looks at some of the tweets that his students sent him. One comments on his sweat and Erik replies. Another wants to see shirtless pics of Erik, so he sends some. The next few comments say that Erik is going to die in response to a clip of him getting beat up. He uses the Giant Enter Button to show that he's serious about the fight. To show what he doesn't want to happen, Erik watches a clip of a boxer failing to dodge punches. Then Erik finds a a nice comment about looking fit and segues into an ad segment for Noom.

Erik watches a boxing video on Pornhub to learn how to box, but their boxes isn't very good and they start having sex. He watches another video of someone boxing and having sex with a sex doll. Erik concludes that he's stepping into the ring for charity, not because he has any personal stakes or ego. Then he looks on his subreddit and sees a user promising to eat a can of cat food if Erik wins.

## Comments

*Be good to see you sweat from exercise and not a combination of studio lights and a shitty diet for once.*
- @JBoothan

*Be good to see you at the bottom of a well you stupid piece of shit. Also I don't have any studio lights so that can't be what's making me so sweaty all the time.*
- Erik

*@commentiquette erik post a pic of you shirtless right now i gotta see how the boxing has affected you*
- @SeanMoose5

*Alright but my camera's really tiny so I gotta take a bunch of pictures and collage them together.**Also here's my penis.*
- Erik

*Out of breath from dodging a few punches**I like your odds*
- @PrecordialBoy

*Use your fucking eyes dickhead, I didn't dodge a single one of those punches. They all landed right in my virgin face. So who's stupid now?*
- Erik

*They call me Slimeball Salvia in the ring because I do whatever it takes to win. I can’t slip a jab but I’ll slip a designer drug in your pre-fight protein smoothie that gives you sexual gratification from getting punched in the face. Then you're all mine. Everybody knows I’m the greasiest little guy to ever wear boxing gloves, but they can’t prove nothin. I got a method kinda like that Illusive Man, but it’s called the Shitlusive Man. It’s when the night before a big fight, you go hit up every single restaurant in town just as they’re about to close, and eat the most exotic seafood on the menu. With this method, you can endlessly shit your trunks in a way that puts your opponent off guard. And when he inevitably turns to the ref and asks “Are you gonna do anything about this?” BAM! That’s when you punch him in the side of the head, hard as you can. That’s just some free advice, and if you don’t win that fight then the next 3am raw blood clam platter is on me. Also fill your boxing gloves with cement and horseshoes, you’ll just kill the guy.*
- Erik

*Wait a second, that's my gym! Ew I've been training in that ring! Okay now this explains everything actually. The other day I was on the treadmill minding my own business, when a pizza delivery guy walked in and within like three seconds was having sex with the receptionist. At the same time, this buff daddy in all leather was on the pull-up bar doing reps with his asscheeks while a bunch of nuns defiled each others sacred vows underneath.**That's when I realized I must be in one of THOSE gyms. You know what I mean, where it's more about hooking up than pumping up? I should have known the first time I rented a locker only to find my step-sister was stuck inside. Anyway I already paid for the month so I might as well keep going, but if one more babysitter walks up and starts rubbing my shoulders talkin about how tense I am, I'm gonna show these people what happens when you eat raw blood clams at three in the morning*
- NudeCelebzForFree

*That's it I'm never googling "how to box" ever again. I tried this technique on my trainer and he beat the absolute shit out of me. I'm guessing this isn't a real boxing technique because my trainer kept screaming "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT! WHAT WAS THAT!" before storming out of the gym. And perhaps that would have been it for my boxing career, had my trainer not trudged back through the doors, daylight streaming in behind him, casting him in silhouette, in a way I've never seen him**The look on his face was sullen, and knowing. We embraced. Our first kiss was gruff and smoky. I inhaled the leather of his gloves slicked with both our sweat, felt him peeling the velcro from my own. Our first night together in that gym felt like a beautiful song. The kind that only plays in your head because they haven't invented the right instruments yet. I still hear that song every time we tuck our daughter to sleep and she asks how much we love her.**One day I'll grow old and vanish back to wherever we're born from. But for all the days in between, with my favorite song playing, I'll have this boxing tutorial to thank for everything.*
- NudeCelebzForFree

*I have no idea who that other guy is, but I don't want to see daddy salvia get his ass beat, which I can practically guarantee is going happen.**Especially since he looks like John DeHart hitting a punching bag. Here's what that looks like :**https://youtu.be/nZOcAlp2HPM?t=26**Erik, in the extreme unlikely chance you read this, I will eat a can of cat food if you actually manage to win that fight, but only if you call me out. I don't actually want anything if you win unless it's a copy of The Amazing Salvio's Guide to Bouncing on Your Boys 3rd Eye, but that will never, ever happen unless you manage to sweat on your opponent into submission.*
- awesomefutureperfect

*lol bro you are so fucked*
- Erik

## Video

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