Ultraman Golgo Side Story: Dark Ultra Therapy

**Tartarus**: So... who wants to start? -*The Absolutian giant put on his glasses as he glared the Dark Ultras, all sitting in a circle-* Nobody? How about you? *-He points to a rather confused Evil Tiga-*

**Evil Tiga**: Oh I uh... I'm not actually evil haha, my host was just an ass but I didn't do anything wrong

**Tartarus**: huh *-He looks down to his papers and writes something down-* who's next?

**Belial**: *-Looks around and crosses his legs-* I guess I'll go

**Tartarus**: Good going Belial, breaking the ice

**Belial**: So uh basically, my best friend banged my crush and stole my job.

*Cricket noises*

**Tartarus**: Good good, now pass it on, who do you want to go next?

**Belial**: Blue guy over here *-he points to Tregear-*

**Tregear**: My crush banged my sister

*They take a moment to process that*

**Tartarus**: Alright I guess, who's next

**Kamila**: That asshole Tiga left me for some human thot!

**Zagi**: Fuck you dad, I'm better than you in every single way!

**Lugiel**: I don't think I even count as an Ultra but anyway, basically to summarize I was kinda born evil because my other half Ginga was born good after we split from our initial form, I didn't have much of a career choice to be honest

**DarkKiller**: idk

**Orb Dark**: ORB SENPAAAAIII NOTICE MEEEEEEEE

**Imit Belial**: WAAAAH, WAAAAAAH UWAAAAAAAAH

*The whole room goes silent*

**Tartarus**: Can someone uh, please tput the baby to sleep

*Everyone's gaze shifts to the real Belial*

**Belial**: Fiiiine *-He picks up Imit Belial and walks away-*

**Terranoid**: *fires the Solgent Ray at the air*

**Hikari**: I got redeemed so I'm not sure if I can stay here

**Tregear**: Yeah you can fuck right off

**Hikari**: Wow, rude

**Tartarus**: Maybe it'd be best for you to go...

**Hikari**: Understood *-he warps away-*

*Faust elbows Mephisto*

**Mephisto**: Hey uh, should we go as well? We also got redeemed

**Tartarus**: Yeah sure

**Mephisto Zwei**: REEEEEEEEEE

**Evil Great**: *sobbing* I don't know man, I just robbed a bank, got infected with those space monster cells and now I'm a giant, I didn't want any of this

**Hellar**: \*insert generic as all hell children's cartoon villain motivation here\*

**Golgo**: My best friend died in front of my very eyes in a mission, my crush turned me down and the science bureau keeps rejecting my perfectly good and 100% safe ideas!

**Dark Ginga**: **All becomes one. All becomes one. All becomes one. All becomes one.**

**Astro**: My wife couldn't handle my crack addiction so she left me for dead

**Onyx**: Mebius you sack of shit you yourself have come back from the dead why didn't you call for help?!

**Apocalypse**: You can't spell 'funeral' without 'fun' :)

**Sinister**: *I am 4 Parallel Universes ahead of you.*

**Cacyus and Hadeous**: Gaslight. Gatekeep. Girlboss.

**Dao**: I'm based on the ~~second~~ ~~third~~ worst user to join the wiki so I don't have many career choices

**Fafnir**: Fuck you dad, just let me do my thing at my own pace

**Zagi**: Based Fafnir

**Jove, Zaras and Sylph**: None of us are actually evil, we're just unlucky :(

**Zero Darkness Darkness**: *heh... kid... looks like this time has come again... five-thousand years of torment... the pain... i've faced... cannot be measured... cannot by felt... by the likes of a mortal... like you... but i have prepared... when the reapers come... yes... i can sense it... it has been fortold in prophecies of old... a millennia... rain of blood... damnation...... hmph. too bad i won't be here to see it... you on the otherhand... well... kid... looks like you're gonna be trapped in here for a while... it seems the hunter... has become the hunted...... see you in a thousand years or so... i'll be here to take up my revenge... as for now... i'm out of here. sorry... kid... but after all... it's nothin' personnel...*

**Tregamer**: Gamers are the most oppressed minority of them all

**Spire**: One moment I die trying to protect my fellow ultras in the war against Gatanothor, the next I wake into a new world where humanity, the ones we were protecting, become the cause for the near extinction of my entire race with the stupid yellow flower. I've lost so much thanks to them to where I shall snuff them out.

**Yagne**: ANARCHY

**Insid**: I second Yagne

**Bounty**: Hmmmmmmmmmmm yessssss, money *-he pulls out cash and begins sniffing it-*

**Exterminus**: Being a ridiculous exaggeration of Parody hate from old wiki controversies doesn't leave many career options.

**Coltraan:** I third Yagne

**Zenon's Zoffy:** Plot twist: I organized this therapy session.

*Tartarus and the rest simply stare at Zoffy for a few moments*

**Lyco:** I was gaslit by a chessmaster villain into reawakening my long-forgotten EVIL SPLIT PERSONALITY and became the final boss of my own series.

**Tregear/Tri-Squad Dream Ultra #1:** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwkwKoZropI

**Tregear/Tri-Squad Dream Ultra #2:** I'm not actually a Dark Ultra, I just got pissed off because the Ring of Light was jealous of my swoleness.

**Another Onyx:** ORB YOU SACK OF SHIT, YOUR DEFINING TRAIT IS THAT YOU CAN'T LEAVE SOMEONE TO SUFFER ON THEIR OWN, HOW DARE YOU BETRAY THAT

**Aulus:** IT'S TIME TO STOP, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU HUMANS DOING WITH YOURSELVES, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY, WE CAN ALL LIVE AND COEXIST WITH THE EARTH IF YOU JUST **GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER, *P L E A S E***

**Reagret:** I literally should not have survived what happened to me, and now I'm just expected to pick up the pieces of my completely shattered life at the hands of my alternate self who I could not control, befriend the characters who believed me to be their arch-nemesis for 12 years, WHILE dealing with remnants of the darkness that had inhabited my body for so long? GIVE ME A BIG, FAT BREAK!

**Nychus:** I cannot call myself an Ultra. I have lost my light, my reason, and if instinct makes me a monster, then let me be a monster. Let ***Gudis*** be a monster.