Albert Wesker's Killing Spree

"*RULES OF NATURE!!! AND THEY RUN WHEN THE SUN COMES UP! WITH THEIR LIVES ON THE LINE! ALIVE!!! FOR A WHILE! NO CHOICE!!! GOTTA FOLLOW THE LAWS OF THE WILD!!!!!!*"
—Rules of Nature by Jamie Christopherson[src]

**Albert Wesker's killing spree** was one of the highlights of Part 6 in which Albert Wesker murders 4 people in one night with his newfound Katana and Greatsword skills.

This event led him to become a master of the Greatsword and meet soon-to-be Jill Valentine, Diamond Mooney.

## Transcript of the events

The incident kicked off when Pizza Goth walked by the Squarepants Household around nighttime. Wesker, angry that the pizzas he ordered never arrived, calls her inside and, after having a brief conversation, slices her with a Katana using his "Kesi Giri" move.

Whilst he was enjoying a *pizza slice* of his own, Wesker got a text message from James Ramsey, informing him that he would come over to make an assassination request. When he arrives, he barges through the front door, completely ignores the dead body of Pizza Goth and walks over it to show Wesker a funny meme video before asking him to kill Bryon Cramer down the street.

Confused, and possibly because he didn't like being given orders by a random guy, Wesker slices the client with the same move he used to kill his previous victim. Death is not amused. After both bodies are reaped, Wesker realizes who the target actually is and rewards himself with a bite of fruitcake. What he didn't realize was that the fruitcake was actually laced with a special kind of Uroboros that gave him tremendous Greatsword abilities.

Wesker then goes off to meet Bryon, to which he puts on a friendly attitude at first. But he then prepares his ultimate Greatsword attack, BERSERK, that he unleashes on Bryon, completely melting him while *Rules of Nature* plays in the background. Wesker then goes back inside to eat some victory fruitcake.

After having a chat with Liquid Bogan and going about with his night, Wesker is shortly interrupted by another text to discuss an assassination. The cop Matteo Ma, off-duty, arrives and rewards Wesker for killing Bryon Cramer. It is speculated that Matteo was corrupt and subcontracted assassins to do his dirty work.

Thinking that everything was done and dusted, Wesker takes a nap. However, Matteo walks back inside to request a new target, Diamond Mooney. Wesker, tired, refuses despite his insistence and tries to go back to sleep. He however spots Matteo stealing his book. In anger, Wesker pursues him outside and obliterates him with his BERSERK move right in front of Diamond Mooney.

Diamond doesn't seem to mind. Wesker brags about his achievements before heading back to bed. Noticing that he forgot his book, he goes back to get it from Diamond which he kicks in the croutch for taking. He then goes to get some much earned sleep.

## After the events

In the following morning, Wesker wakes up to another assassination request targeting Diamond Mooney. Wesker completely ignores it and eats some leftover Uroboros fruitcake. Diamond then walks into the house uninvited and starts eating laxatives. They chat together while Spongebob leaves outside, having a mental breakdown.

Diamond later comes back, this time being the one asking Wesker for an assassination, but falls on deaf ears. Wesker then changes into nude and starts working out. The sight of this sends Diamond into a state of extreme mental turmoil, causing her to talk to herself for hours, immediately obeying Wesker's command when he encourages her to do push-ups and even asking him to assassinate her. Diamond remains for hours until until the household is off for work.

After coming home, Wesker gets yet another assassination request. This time he obliges, leaving a window for Diamond to sneak back into the house. She later wakes Wesker up with her still constant blabbering. He considers killing her, but ultimately doesn't, maybe feeling bad because she is jobless and most likely homeless. He asks her to move in at the condition of changing her identity to Jill Valentine, which she does.

## Casualties

* Pizza Goth
* 2 Assassination Seekers (one being Matteo Ma)
* 1 Assassination Target