Wet and Dirty

*Snake Eyes*

"**Wet and Dirty**" is the 3rd episode of *Snake Eyes* Campaign One. It premiered on June 13th, 2021 on the Check Republic's Twitch channel and on YouTube on June 14th, and features the characters Lavi and Pringle.

## Summary

Lavi and Jupp bond as they journey through the Zhash Basin in their search for Pidge, but with her trail running cold, they are faced with a difficult choice. Meanwhile, in the Holy City, Pringle seeks new allies and followers for Mephistopheles, and falls in with a criminal organization.

## Synopsis

### Part I: Lavi

#### Getting To Know You

As Lavi and Jupp trek northeast through the Zhash Basin from Mirefield to the trading town of Zhash's Crossing, Jupp continues to tease Lavi about the filthy mud-caked state of her feathers and the charming smell of bog and swamp that seems to have latched onto her. Lavi is increasingly ruffled by Jupp's remarks, but Jupp promises that the town ahead has baths where she can clean up.

As they walk and chat, Lavi reiterates her concern for her sister Pidge's safety, her confusion over why Pidge left, and her worry that Pidge might even have been upset with her for some unknown reason. Defending herself against another lighthearted jab, Lavi also explains how she came to be so unclean, recounting the fishing assistance she gave to Baurgaof. Jupp in turn explains the origin of his "lonebrew" moniker: the people of his town don't think much of his alchemical abilities, believing that all of his concoctions taste the same. He also awkwardly admits to a love of ~~collecting flowers~~ herbalism, since he uses the ingredients in his potions. Lavi (accurately) labels this as cute, leading to another instance of banter between the two.

Suddenly, Jupp spots something in the distance. Cautioning Lavi to be as stealthy as possible, Jupp moves carefully towards the unknown object, which he proceeds to snatch up and show to Lavi: a plant (specifically, something called a prairie tooth). Lavi is less than impressed, particularly at having been shushed. Jupp is excited at the potential of using it as an ingredient in his potions.

#### Hobbies and Shiny Things

The two continue their journey. Having discussed his own hobby, Jupp inquires whether Lavi has any; she is initially unable to think of one aside from caring for Pidge, which Jupp dismisses (accurately) as not really being a hobby. Lavi finally admits that she does have one hobby: flirting. Banter and double entendres ensue, before they return to the topic of Pidge. Jupp reassures Lavi that, since there was no blood on the ground where they picked up Pidge's trail, it is unlikely she has been harmed.

Grateful for his reassurance, and attempting to make Jupp happy in return, Lavi offers to help keep an eye out for special or rare flowers. Jupp, rejecting Lavi's offer due to the harpy's apparent lack of attention to detail, asks again about what makes Lavi happy. She hesitates, but then admits to a love of shiny things (a common trait among harpies) – specifically, rocks. Jupp offers Lavi a bloodstone he's been carrying; Lavi happily accepts it, surprised to be given it for free. As they walk on, Jupp explains some of the basics of alchemy and herbalism to Lavi.

#### Zhash's Landing

That evening, Jupp and Lavi arrive at their destination: the tiny town of Zhash's Crossing. They see a few wagons belonging to passing trading caravans, but are unable to immediately identify a particular one as matching the wheel ruts Jupp observed back in the swamp. Lavi, setting aside her own strong desire for a bath, insists on immediately checking them more closely. Unfortunately, the caravan guards don't believe Lavi's story about her missing sister, and shoo her away. Jupp explains that he was able to look in a few of the wagons while Lavi caused a distraction, but saw no sign of Pidge.

Jupp suggests they inquire about Lavi at the local inn, which they find to be a filled with a rowdy, raucous crowd. The bartender is unable to provide any useful information on Pidge, and Lavi and Jupp are reduced to flipping a coin to decide where to seek Lavi next. They settle on going south. The inn visit is not a total loss: Jupp is able to arrange for use of the inn's bath.

#### Bathtime

Lavi and Jupp repair to the inn's bathing room. Jupp is a little flustered by Lavi casually disrobing in front of him, but offers to assist her with her bath, given Lavi's lack of hands and the harpy custom of communal bathing. He proceeds to scrub her wings free of grime, and invites her to demonstrate her flirting technique. Lavi coyly invites Jupp to join her in the tub, but is surprised by Jupp declining and not exhibiting the kind of frazzled response she usually receives. As Jupp continues to clean her, the two chat. Jupp admits this is his first time traveling outside of his hometown; Lavi expresses surprise at the rudeness of the town guards. She also wonders aloud whether her flirting is less powerful than she'd imagined, and is embarrassed by Jupp not taking it seriously. They discuss Lavi's limited experience with courtship in harpy society.

As Lavi finishes her bath, she again invites Jupp to join her. Jupp awkwardly disrobes and does so, but is quickly made uncomfortable by the close quarters. Lavi hops out, dries off, and redresses; Jupp, having been less dirty, soon follows.

#### Two Surprises

Resolving to continue their pursuit of Pidge without resting in the town overnight, Jupp and Lavi return to the main room of the inn and look for potential travelling companions to help ensure their safety on the road. They immediately notice a heated argument taking place between the barman and another patron: a short, horned female figure wearing a corset dress and speaking with a similar accent to Jupp. Lavi, concerned for the clearly distressed individual, begins to approach, but Jupp pulls her back, urging caution. He identifies the patron as a Fel – a potentially highly dangerous creature born with devil's blood in her veins. As the Fel overhears and turns towards the pair, Jupp desperately tries to avoid her attention by pulling Lavi into a completely unexpected kiss. Lavi, in a state of shock, immediately and wordlessly leaves the bar. Jupp follows Lavi outside, apologizing profusely. Lavi pauses only to inform him that she hadn't expected her first kiss to be like that, and walks away.

### Part II: Pringle

#### Meeting Carstein

In the Holy City, Pringle, full of righteous anger and purpose, but now with no allies and no base of operations, is considering her next steps. With only minimal information at her disposal, she prays to Mephistopheles for guidance... while standing in the middle of a street, in the dark, in the pouring rain. A moment later, a horse runs into her. Pringle, smoothly keeping her balance, sees the horse's owner: a man dressed in clothing that seems vaguely familiar, and appearing particularly pissed off. Despite the man's vile attitude and deliberate vagueness about his destination, Pringle deploys her considerable charms, managing to convince him to take her with him (despite his night's business being of questionable legality). He finally introduces himself as Carstein.

#### Gold or Blood

The two ride over to a middle class home in the west of the city. Summoning the owner, Aldwin, to the door, Carstein forces his way inside, with Pringle following. Carstein begins threatening the portly individual over missed payments. Pringle takes the cue to start searching the house for money or valuables. Aldwin objects, but Carstein silences him with a gesture, enjoying the spectacle of Pringle ransacking the residence and taunting Aldwin over his failure to abide by his deals.

Carstein, identifying himself as a member of the criminal organization known as the Syndicate, demands immediate payment of Aldwin's debts – in the form of either gold or blood. Aldwin protests that he has no money on hand, with all of it tied up in investments. Pringle draws her Lover's Mercy, a large and brutal-looking mace, as Carstein forces the merchant to his knees. After a few final taunts, with Carstein's approval, Pringle caves in the merchant's head with a single blow. That should teach him the foolishness of putting all his liquid assets into cryptocurrency. Pringle appears delighted by the kill, but disappointed to now actually have to continue searching for the missing money. Carstein is impressed by Pringle's bloodthirstiness, and begins to show an attraction to her; after some flirtation, he kisses Pringle, who doesn't object (but shoots him a glare from behind).

#### Libations

Carstein escorts Pringle out of the middle class area of the city to the central commercial district, where they enter a raucous tavern, The Blushing Bard. Carstein illicitly procures two drinks, he and Pringle sit together, and Carstein explains a little about the Syndicate's activities and his desire to acquire wealth and power. Pringle shares that her goal is to expand the ranks of Mephistopheles's followers, identifying herself as a Cleric. The two flirt, with Pringle keeping her actual disgust hidden as she expertly charms the disgusting man. Explaining that she believes their encounter to have been the work of her god, Pringle offers to continue accompanying Carstein, who creepily agrees. Pringle suggests that Carstein sign a contract to Mephistopheles in exchange for the god's aid in his ambitions. Carstein considers it, and opines that the entire Syndicate could theoretically be converted, if such aid were to prove demonstrably useful. Pringle is delighted by the idea. As the night wears on, Pringle carefully maintains a mildly tipsy level of drunkenness; in contrast, Carstein gets wrecked, then lecherously invites Pringle up to his rented room. He proceeds upstairs, leaving Pringle to "freshen up".

#### Lies

Pringle approaches a waitress from whom Carstein had been stealing drinks all evening. She explains the beverage theft and offers to pay for the drinks, before spinning a teary-eyed sob story about being kicked out of her home and the nasty man trying to feed her drinks. The kind-hearted waitress takes her back to the kitchen, where a few other members of staff gather. Pringle gains their sympathy with further lies about Carstein having designs on her body (lies not far from the truth in this instance); one of the tavern employees leaves to summon the town guards. Pringle tricks several of the remaining bar staff into signing over their souls to Mephistopheles, then excuses herself to "freshen up".

Pringle heads upstairs and enters Carstein's room, where the despicable creature has already stripped down. Pringle tells him that the waitress had assumed that Carstein had kidnapped Pringle, and that town guards are en route. Carstein hurriedly dresses, as Pringle slips out of the window and drops down into the alley outside, twisting an ankle upon landing. Carstein follows.

#### Inn For The Night

The pair ride Carstein's horse to another inn, where Carstein rents another room and the two settle in for the evening. At Carstein's request, Pringle tells him about Mephistopheles, at length and in considerable detail, while Carstein contracts a bad case of desert disease (aka "wandering palms"), becoming increasingly handsy with the Fel. Carstein explains that murder puts him in "a certain mood". Pringle is hesitant (ostensibly on religious grounds), suggesting that Carstein sign a contract establishing the two of them as "partners" prior to their intimacy progressing any further; in actuality, the contract she writes surrenders Carstein's soul to Mephistopheles if Pringle sleeps with him. Carstein eagerly signs, and Pringle fulfills her contractual obligation. Then does so again, just to avoid being squished. As Carstein falls asleep again, Pringle lovingly prays to Mephistopheles, vowing to bring the entire Syndicate into the ranks of his followers, and expressing hope for a sign that she'll soon be able to viciously kill Carstein. Endlessly mentally repeating her love to Mephistopheles, Pringle falls asleep, and dreams of...

#### Where Do Bad Folks Go When They Die?

A lake of fire and fry, with geysers of flame and an unfathomable level of heat that makes Pringle feel clean. Pringle joyfully allows her hands to catch fire, then wades in, leaving her feeling refreshed and born again. Surrounding the lake in this dreamscape is a kind of natural cavern made of black obsidian and dotted with stalagmites, a sight which fills Pringle with a sense of peace and of being home... until she feels sunlight on her face...

#### Starfish Loves You

... and wakes naked in the bed with Carstein, to find him snoring, drooling, and starfishing. Eew. Pringle gets up and begins to prepare for the new day.

## Key Points

### Plot & Lore

* The Syndicate, which first appeared in the Check Please! podcast episode "The Adventure Begins?" (C1 S1 E1-3), makes its first *Snake Eyes* appearance.
* As it did in *Check Please!*, the Holy City still offers places of worship and accommodation to followers of many different deities, but the Church of Mephistopheles exists there in secret and apparently without official sanction.

### Character

#### Lavi

* Lavi's overriding concern remains finding Pidge and ensuring her sister's welfare.
* Despite initially objecting to being called "Lavi" rather than "Lavinia", Lavi quickly realizes that she prefers the shortened form (at least from Jupp).
* Lavi possesses a certain degree of vanity, and (adorably) pouts when she feels her looks aren't appreciated.
* Lavi, coming from a sheltered and privileged upbringing, is not used to things being difficult, or to being shushed.
* Lavi's primary hobby is flirting. She demonstrates her skills on Jupp.
* Lavi references the non-harpy part of her parentage being more special than just a human (as a "phoenix" breed, she is part ifrit).
* Lavi emphasizes that she is continued highly desirable amongst other harpies, owing to her rare and colorful breed. She's also clear that she takes no interest in potential partners who demonstrate their true nature by treating Pidge poorly.
* For all her flirting, Lavi has never kissed another creature until now. The circumstances are less than ideal.

#### Pringle

* Pringle's style of prayer, at least without an audience, is quiet and lacking pomp.
* Given the sanctity of contracts to her religion, Pringle takes particular pleasure in punishing a victim of the Syndicate for his failure to abide by his agreements.
* Pringle displays a love of violence that seems to border on the erotic for her. Despite this, Keni reacts with disgust at Carstein's post-murder hormone-fest at the second inn.
* Pringle's devotion to Mephistopheles extends to writing the deity's infernal symbols in the freshly-spilled blood of a man she just murdered.
* Pringle is genuinely unclear on why other individuals are squeamish about blood, death, and murder.
* Pringle's formal RPG class (Cleric) is identified.
* Pringle is shown to be especially devious in gaining followers for Mephistopheles, damning the souls not just of foul individuals like Carstein, but even of people like the bar staff who showed her nothing but kindness and sympathy.
* Pringle has wonderful handwriting, bordering on calligraphy-quality.
* Pringle, like Keni, is left-handed. How sinister.
* Pringle is only truly capable of loving Mephistopheles, to the extent that expressing her love for him is her nightly ritual as she falls asleep.

## Running Gags & Callbacks

* Keni accidentally refers to their character (in this case, Lavi) as Sol. Beardy marks it down.
* Continuing from the end of "The Search" (C1 E2), Jupp needles Lavi about her muddy feathers and unpleasant smell.
* As in Yes Please!, "fade to black" is used to segue over scenes of a more adult nature.

## Memorable Quotes

### Part I: Lavi

* "I probably should have made you roll a Knowledge (Local) for that, but fuck it." "(agreeing) Fuck it." – Beardy and Keni, taking a laid-back approach to the game's guidelines.
* "You just get ruffled awful easy, is all." "I do not!" "You're ruffled right now." – Jupp, ruffling Lavi.
* "If someone did something, I'm GOING to HURT them." – Lavi, once again being Best Big Sister.
* "Well, I ain't gonna touch you from the waist down." – Jupp, master of the unintentionally suggestive remark.
* "I'm not just *cute*! I am *beautiful*." "Can't tell under all that muck." – Lavi and Jupp, verbally sparring.
* "If you ever stop yourself from doing something for fear of [having a] fool made of yourself, you ain't never gonna do nothing in life." – Jupp, in praise of folly.
* "Barkeeps always seem to know a little more than they should." – Jupp, hanging an enormous lampshade.
* "Boring! I want bubbles!" – Keni, on Lavi's dull bath.
* "He holds up his hand and wiggles his fingers. 'Kind of makes it hard, I guess.'" – Beardy as Jupp, as the alchemist's mouth runs away with him.
* "At this point, the room is beginning to get kind of steamy." – Yes, Beardy. Yes it is.
* "I just... didn't expect *that* to be my first kiss." – Lavi, to Jupp, who sure dun goofed.

### Part II: Pringle

* "I'm guessing your Dad fucked a cow or something, and that's why you've got them horns?" – Carstein, immediately charming Pringle.
* "What I'm about to do isn't exactly legal." "Ooh, are you about to kill someone?" "What if I am?" "Can I watch?" – Carstein and Pringle.
* "All contracts must be served out in accordance to their scripture." – Pringle, spreading the good word of Mephistopheles.
* "Oh, sweetheart. You think *he's* the strongest one in this room currently?" – Pringle, thoroughly intimidating Aldwin.
* "I learned a long time ago that the best thing you can do is look out for yourself and take what you want." – Carstein, to Pringle. What a douche.
* "I was tragically born not wealthy, and I'm trying to right that wrong." – Carstein, to Pringle. Seriously, what an asshole.
* "I'm here to save everyone." – Pringle, shortly after killing an unarmed and defenseless man.
* "It's like you're a godsend or something." "That's literally what I've been telling you all night." – Carstein and Pringle.
* "I do smell great. I smell like lies and lawful deceit." – Pringle, distancing herself from an unpleasant moment with Carstein.
* "Dear Lord Mephistopheles, I hope I have done your work as I should today. I do not know what path you are leading me on, but I sure as hell hope it involves me killing and smiting this motherfucker at some point." – Pringle, not exactly enjoying the afterglow of round two.
* "I love you. Okay, goodnight. *(ad infinitum)*" – Pringle, to Mephistopheles.

## The Dice

 1
 Lavi

* Lavi didn't make any rolls with scores or outcomes that would be recorded here.
* Since he was on his knees, Pringle's murder of Aldwin is counted as an automatic critical hit, but is not listed here.
* Pringle's Nat 20 Reflex role is her first Nat 20 of the Campaign.

## Notes

* It is revealed that Pringle only has two skill ranks at this stage in the campaign.
* Though not identified in episode audio, the name of the inn visited in Lavi's section can be read on the video as "The Ruthless Giant". It is later identified by name during Pringle's section of "Dealings with Devils" (C1 E6).
* Unusually, the second inn visited by Pringle and Carstein goes unnamed.
* At one point, Keni refers to Pringle's deity as Asmodeus, the early name in lore for the deity who would eventually be called Mephistopheles.
* Beardy created a "Craft (Contracts)" skill specifically for Pringle.
* Pringle really does only truly love Mephistopheles – on a game mechanics level, the character has the True Love feat.