Taganular (Warriors of Lightning Continuity)

## Taganular

"Did someone order a BUG ZAPPER? BLAAAAAAAARGH" - Ultraman Lightning appearing to battle Taganular

### Affiliation

Ultraman Onyx (awakener), Peninsula Kaiju (allies)

### Created by

Tsupro, adapted by KitsuneSoldier

Taganular is a shiny newfangled derpy beetle kaiju who appears in Ultraman Lightning.

## History

CAKE had a mystery on their hands. Buildings and mountains lay in ruins across Japan, marked with traces of *pure energy*. CAKE dispatched Taji, Wakako and Alec to investigate several different demolished sites, their investigations yielding absolutely nothing. As CAKE pondered the facts, a giant freakin' beetle Taganular suddenly appeared in the countryside, firing lazorz everywhere.

"A giant ugly insect beast!" Gabara snarled, ready for war.

"Aww, its face is kinda derpy and cute though," Taji chuckled.

"I agree," Isaac affirmed, having experimentally shapeshifted his nose into Taganular's.

"Cap!," Wakako said from her computer seat. "I'm detecting its beams and emissions are radioactive!"

"CAKE, heat up!" shouted Captain Ida. "We are to fry that beetle and serve it Bangkok-style as a special at the bakery!"

"Ha, Bangkok," chuckled Alec.

CAKE quickly launched the Giga Oven and Skybakers to fire on Taganular, but proved to be no match for its intense body heat, gigantic lazorz, and fart shockwaves, leaving them all crashed and useless. As such, Taji was quickly forced to pull out the Thunder Ball and transform into Ultraman Lightning to face the monster. "HOLY CRAP, IS THIS A LAZER COLLECTION REFERENCE?" he cried, to which Taganular responded with "BLAAAAAAAAARGH!" "I KNEW IT!" Lightning started by firing a barrage of generic lightning bolts, but it proved ineffective. When he approached the monster to punch and kick it, however, he sensed something off with its energy.

His Ultra Shark Sense deduced it to be the work... of Umbilium!

"OH GOD OH FUCK ONYX SENT THIS THING" Lightning screamed as the beetle kaiju fought back against him, ramming him with its intense body heat and slashing him with its claws. "OW! YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A SECOND SET OF TOP SCARS!" As the yellow Ultra crapped his metaphorical pants, Taganular began charging the Umbilium fusion lazor to end all lazors. However, as it was fired at Lightning, it was blocked by a barrier - summoned by none other than Lightning's mother, Ultrawoman Tetra!

"Mom! ... I wanted to get hit with that beam, I could probably have absorbed it and it would have made me look cool!"

"Lightning, my son, thist comical-appearing creature's tragic rampage be not its own doing. Ist the sinister plotting of Ultraman Onyx that curseth it by his vile darkness!"

"... Got it!" Lightning nodded before activating his Cosmos Surge form. Both son and mother charged up their healing beams, tailored to banish Umbilium after multiple encounters with Onyx's curse, and bathed Taganular in that holy light. The beetle Kaiju's body began to glow brighter and brighter, and everyone gasped as they feared the worst, until finally...

Taganular expelled all the accumulated energy in a single gigantic beam that turned the evening into bright morning, and... affected the other four senses in ways better off not being described.

"Phew! ... is it over?"

Lightning gazed upon Taganular, which was kneeling and silently clicking, clearly physically and emotionally drained, but alive, cooled down, and freed from corruption.

"Indeedst it beith ov-"

Tetra's reassurance was suddenly cut short by a geyser of dark water, revealing Ultraman Onyx, arms crossed, standing behind Taganular.

"ONYX!"

"Sigh..." The Dark Ultra grumbled, "this is what I get for trying new things, I suppose. I put too much faith solely in this creature's sheer beam output. Nonetheless, IT WAS ME, ADAM! I awakened this slumbering Taganular and altered its biological structure to replace the Teaterium it naturally consumes with a comically large amount of Umbilium, so that you would be forced to endure atomic fart jokes, quote dead Shoop Da Woop memes, and laugh at its goofy elephant trunk until your jaw fell off!"

"Okay but who asked? We undid your modifications with cool shiny beams, what do you do now other than exposing your own nose and lungs to this awful smell?"

"I shall, quite sinisterly, storm off and plot my next petty scheme, definitely of my own accord and not because I have a certain trickster god up my a-"

The next thing Onyx knew, a God Circle was being held at his neck.

"You won't move an inch, fiend."

"Ah..." Onyx chuckled, suddenly defensive. "How nice of the lonely sole inhabitant of Planet Fire God to drop by..."

"Remember when people had to call your name to summon you, Godman?", Lightning grumbled, placing his hands on his slugger to ready for combat if needed.

"I know when I'm needed, and you and your comrades made fools of yourselves today!"

"Are you two... going to talk?" Onyx whined. "C-can I leave?"

Godman snarled barbarically at Onyx, who screamed like a little girl and melted away into dark water energy.

"Anyway, I'm here to squash that bug," the Fire God warrior bluntly declared.

"He was awakened and made to rampage against his will," Lightning reasoned, drawing his Slugger to throw if necessary. "His energy has been released, and he's tired. His next stop is the Peninsula, where he won't be a danger to anyone. Besides, look at his goofy derpy face, he's so innocent!"

"Well, at the very least, it'll *bow to me* first."

Almost immediately, Taganular stood up to bend over, clearly afraid.

"So it can think a little... very well. Let your group do as they wish with it."

"Alright, I gotta change back so I can help trans... port it to-"

"Itst donne alreadyeth," Tetra assured. Lightning had only just looked away, and Taganular had disappeared, his mother having just sent out some form of blast. "Mine OPness hath secured Taganular's arrival upon thy Isle of the Monstrous."

"Huh. Well, all's well that ends well, I suppose. Hey Godman, while you're here, care to ex-"

"I MUST GO," Godman shunned him. "MY BARREN PLANET NEEDS ME."

Before Lightning could object, Godman had flown away.

As the night settled and everyone had reverted to human form or left, Taji settled down with the rest of CAKE, as well as his mother Raicho, who had elected to stay over for dinner.

"We still don't know what Godman's whole deal is, do we?" Wakako pointed out.

"He is a barbarian and cannot be trusted," Gabara declared with a sneer on his face.

"What's your opinion on him, Mom?" Taji asked Raicho. "You know anything on Mr. Plot Derailment out there?"

"You do possess incredible psychic power," Captain Ida acknowledged.

"I hast bornst witness to many a thing," Tetra's human form began, "but feweth like him."

"Oh right," Isaac said, presenting an envelope. "I... received something. I think it's a letter from Godman!"

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

Isaac opened the envelope...

when suddenly, a man in sunglasses with four zigzagging tentacles on his back flew in. ***"DR. OCTAGONAPUS BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"*** he yelled, unleashing a gigantic lazor that vaporized the entire cast except for Alec.

"Ha, Octa-gona-pus-a-nut," chuckled Alec.

### Further Appearances

After being teleported to the Peninsula, Taganular would soon acclimate to life there, becoming good friends with Dorgo because they were "two of a new kind." Eventually, after all the monsters received word of Taganular's association with nuclear power, he would be recommended for and appointed Godzilla's fourth personal assistant, as the King could absorb his excess charge and help him ward off his nuclear explosive diarrhea.

Taganular, along with the rest of the Peninsula's monsters, would go on to rally against the Stellaroid invasion, Noir and Schwarz Directives' Saucer Beast army, and Loki's forces at Necroagnarok with all of Earth's defenders.

## Poowers

* Burrowing and Swimming: Taganular is able to travel underground and underwater for long distances, circling Japan easily during its rampage.
* Scythe Arms: Taganular's forearms are large curved blades.
* Tail: Taganular's enlarged abdomen/tail can be used as a blunt weapon.
* Sharp Proboscis: Using its long trunk-like nose, Taganular pierces and sucks radioactive substances from different sources.
* Teaterium: The energy substance Taganular feeds on grants it several abilities:
	+ Growth: As it consumes more Teaterium, Taganular gradually grows in size. It was already at full size when it faced Lightning, however.
	+ Body Heat: Inside Taganular's enlarged abdomen, the consumed Teaterium/Umbilium undergoes energy fusion, causing its internal temperature to rise to the point where even touching the creature becomes difficult.
	+ Energy Detonation: If hit too hard by an attack while charged up by Teaterium, Taganular will discharge energy into the attacker. Were it to detonate completely, Taganular at maximum temperature could cause an explosion with a blast radius of 10 kilometers, though this was fortunately never risked.
	+ Fusion Beam: The increase in internal temperature eventually reaches one million degrees (enough to achieve nuclear fusion), and the flickering in the kaiju’'s abdomen eventually moves to its chest and the horn on its head, from where it releases sparks internally. The resulting beam of ultra-high heat emits a brightness that turns the night into daylight and can penetrate the sky, even reaching into space. This expends the Teaterium's charge and cools down Taganular's body, leaving the monster unharmed rather than causing it to melt down or explode. While under the effects of Umbilium, this attack could be fired rapidly as targeted beams.
* Umbilium (formerly): Onyx's modifications to Taganular replaced its Teaterium sustenance with his Umbilium, empowering it and allowing it to rapidly fire its fusion beams, but leaving it in a constant state of overload and in pain. Fortunately, the modifications were purged from Taganular's body by Lightning and Tetra.

## Trivia

* Taganular was ~~force-fed to me~~ suggested by President Goalton.
* I decided to spare him because of his silly goofy face, HE IS A NEW ULTRAFAN GOD, WORSHIP HIM, HAIL THE DERP. But don't use him in your series, that's blatantly copying Blazar and is cringey.
* Rockin', rockin', and rollin'
* Down to the beach, I'm strollin'
* But the seagulls poke at my head, not fun!
* I said, "Seagulls, mm! Stop it now!"
* Everyone told me not to stroll on that beach
* Said, "Seagulls gonna come, poke me in the coconut"
* And they did, and they did and they goin' like
* Nothin' I could do but yell when these birds attacked me
* When I tried to run I fell, and then these kids start laughin'
* And then, hmm, got hit in the neck with a hacky-sack
* Mm-hm, hm-hm where'd it come from? Hmm
* Gotta run, run, run (jump)
* I can be a backpack while you run
* Run, run, run, jump, and stop!
* Put me down
* I love to groove and boogie, mm
* Yea-a-a-ah (great)
* Show you some dance moves! Mm!
* (No, I don't want you to)
* If I had your giant feet out there on the beach
* Could've outrun those birds!
* (You're a psycho wiener)
* Let me grab my beater!
* Stop it please
* Don't hit me
* Please
* Don't hit me
* C'mon man, quick that bangin'
* Hey what's that stank?
* (You put a fish in our basket)
* Ho-ho-ho-ooh, yeah! I forgot I did that
* (You owe me an apology)
* Just hold your breath and see, when the time is right
* Birds will fly at your face
* Now run, run, run (jump)
* I can be your backpack while you run!
* Swing from a hairy vine
* I can be your backpack while you climb!
* Stand on one hand and lift
* Rocks with your special gift
* Run, run, run, jump, now breathe
* That's good
* Yeah, like that
* Like that
* (Weehoo)
* One day I was walkin', and I found this big log
* And I rolled the log over and underneath was a tiny little stick
* And I was like, "That log had a child"
* Listen boy, someday when you are older
* You could get hit by a boulder
* While you're lyin' there screamin'
* "Come help me please" the seagulls
* Poke your knees!
* Stop it now!