Thorn Glognuts

**Thorn Glognuts** *(also known as simply the **Glognut** or **Donutglag**)* are a popular treat, and are sold universally by restaurants in Glaggleland.

Counterfeit Thorn Glognuts sold by street vendors are common in Glaggleland. These counterfeits are usually laced with chemicals to induce addiction or even Enphosian particles, and their sellers usually use deceptive marketing tactics to accumulate as much money as they can from their counterfeit goods. You must be a trusted Glaggle in order to sell Glognuts, since this is quite common.

Thorn Glognut-branded zipper hoodies, shirts, pants, and other items are sold online at the Glaggleland Emporium website. You can also buy already-made Thorn Glognuts at stores across Glaggleland, or you can buy them online: https://www.glaggleland.com/shop/thorn-glognuts

Not much information about their production process is known, except for the public Thorn Glognut recipe currently online, which was released on 4/12/2023. This is what the article went like:

## Contents

* 1How to make Thorn Glognuts
	+ 1.1Ingredients
	+ 1.2Instructions
	+ 1.3Tips
* 2Flavouring
	+ 2.1Joyous Glognuts
	+ 2.2Irregular Glognuts

## How to make Thorn Glognuts

Have you ever wondered what the secret is behind those delicious Thorn Glognuts? Well, with this amazing recipe, you'll be able to cook these delights yourself! (Oh, and did i mention people made it on Planet Earth?)

### Ingredients

* 1 cup of all-purpose flour
* 1 teaspoon of baking powder
* 1/2 teaspoon of salt
* 1/4 cup of sugar
* 1/4 cup of butter, softened
* 1 egg
* 1/2 cup of milk *(if not using Goobab Juice)*
* 1/2 cup of Goobab Juice of choice *(if not using milk)*
* Filling of choice *(optional)*

### Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F *(175 degrees C)*. Grease a Glognut baking tin.
2. In a medium bowl, combine flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar.
3. In a large bowl, cream together butter and egg until light and fluffy, then beat in milk *(or Goobab Juice, if using)*.
4. Gradually add dry ingredients to wet ingredients, mixing until just combined.
5. Fill the Glognut baking tin with the mix until nearly full.
6. Bake for 15-25 minutes, or until a toothpick poked into the center comes out clean. *(If you like your food burnt and crispy, bake for 1 hour instead.)*
7. Let the mix cool in the Glognut baking tin for a few minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely.
8. Once cooled, frost with banana frosting *(or your chosen Goobab Juice as frosting)* and add a chocolate smiley face made of icing.
9. Scoop out most of the insides, and replace it with a filling of choice *(if using filling)*.
10. Enjoy your free Thorn Glognuts! You can also pair it with milk for a cold winter day.

### Tips

Here are some tips for making Thorn Glognuts:

* For a richer flavor, use brown sugar instead of white sugar.
* For a more tender texture, use sour cream or yogurt instead of milk.
* To make Thorn Glognuts ahead of time, let them cool completely, then freeze them in an airtight container for up to 3 months. When you're ready to eat them, thaw them overnight in the refrigerator and then let them come to room temperature before frosting.

## Flavouring

Thorn Glognuts are sometimes infused with Goobab Juice, which can bring out interesting flavours and textures. Each Goobab flavour has been turned into a Glognut with food critics in Glaggleland rating them all.

### Joyous Glognuts

**"Classic"** Regular
The original Glognut! Fluffy small sponge cake with bright amber tasty icing and low levels of sugar. Super tasty and addicting! Every Giggler or Gembo or whatever has tried one of these at least once.

*Best served alongside: Bottle of Glagjuice*

*Critic reviews: **8/10** - "A classic must be rated high! Could use more texture though."*
**"Butter Bomb"** Green
Glognuts, when fused with Green Goobabs, it starts chemical reactions that make the Glognut really buttery. It tastes full of texture and… butter. Also filled with 15% more Vitamin J.

*Best served alongside: Stick of Butter (could do with a little more)*

*Critic reviews: **6/10** - "The buttery taste kinda gives the Glognut a bad after-taste."*
**"Partier"** Blue
Blue Goobabs mix really well with Glognuts. They give the Glognut more of a tangy, spongy texture and flavour, almost like there's a juiced fruit inside. 63% of Glagglelandians prefer to use these at parties, hence the nickname.

*Best served alongside: Natural fruits (e.g. Glapple slices)*

*Critic reviews: **8/10** - "The tang and texture are near perfect for such a simple addition! Would recommend."*
**"Sour Man"** Lime
These Glognuts have interesting reactions to Lime Goobabs. They become much sourer than they're supposed to while keeping their tangy, spongy texture. It's due to the icing, but that doesn't stop these from being delish!

*Best served alongside: Slices of Lemon (combats the sourness, for some reason)*

*Critic reviews: **7/10** - "The sourness may be too much for some, but other than that, it's great for snacking on."*
**"Tasteless"** Cyan
Glognuts + Cyan Goobab Juice = a near tasteless dessert. These Glognuts seem to lose all their taste, only retaining the sponge and the icing's texture. Still, some wierdos may enjoy it. Nuts give more flavour when mixed in, though.

*Best served alongside: Handful of nuts (give a bit of flavour)*

*Critic reviews: **4/10** - "Pretty tasteless and bland. Only a selection of companies mix nuts in with these tasteless Glognuts."*
**"Fireball"** Orange
These Glognuts are for the strong who can handle a lot of spice. They have quite the heat, and pack quite the punch! They're quite tasty to many but some may choose not to eat them. The test of strength!

*Best served alongside: Milk (only for the wimps)*

*Critic reviews: **9/10** - "It's funny to think; you'd say adding spice to a dessert would be bad, no? Well it's the opposite here! Texture? Grand. Spice? Oddly good. Only problem is that some may fret against."*
**"Popeye's"** Azure
These Glognuts taste pretty odd. They're a bit spicy and taste quite tangy. They're oddly delicious, though! One thing; the Goobabs dry and harden the Glognuts a LOT so you NEED to have a drink or else…

*Best served alongside: Water (or any drink, since you need it)*

*Critic reviews: **7/10** - "It's really tasty with a drink! It's Orange Glognuts for the weaklings. But without a drink, you're dead."*
**"Toothpaste"** Mint
I swear, just use these as toothpaste. These Glognuts are very minty and fresh. It's nice to think eating dessert makes your teeth fresh. Very texture-rich and spongy, and the icing is more… tasty with the mint…? It’s debatable, but still good either way.

*Best served alongside: Mint leaves (could have a bit more)*

*Critic reviews: **8/10** - "Funny to think this works like a mint. Very… tasty, and a bit more-ish… I don’t know…"*
**"Sugarload"** Yellow
Like their Goobab equivelant, these suckers are a load of sugar. Eating one is the same as eating 20 pounds of sugar. Has a soft and rich spongy texture!

*Best served alongside: Sugar Cubes*

*Critic reviews: **7/10** - "This much sugar is probably unhealthy… I would rate a 9, but the amount of sugar in one bite will probably make you hyperactive."*
**"Goomblesludge Glognut"** Purple
These Glognuts are made with Purple Goobabs, thus their texture is more liquid-y, and it tastes a bit more like Goomblesludge. Still great, though!

*Best served alongside: Goomblesludge*

*Critic reviews: **9/10** - "Goomblesludge gives out much more intresting flavours in a Glognut than I'd thought."*
**"Sweet and Sour"** Fuchsia
These Glognuts, being made with Fuchsia Goobabs, are quite strange. They have a crunchy and sweet texture, and have lots of sweetness and sourness too.

*Best served alongside: Grapefruit slices*

*Critic reviews: **6/10** - "The sweet and sour mix doesn't go together as well as you'd think in a Glognut. Quite nice though."*
**"Dessert of Desserts"** Pink
These Glognuts are the sweetest of them all. They're made with Pink Goobabs, which means they're delightful, really sweet, maintain a great texture and are hydrating too. They also give a healthy amount of Vitamin J!

*Best served alongside: Handful of blueberries*

*Critic reviews: **9.5/10** - "I was tied between 9 and 10. It's so good that I may have eaten 15, but there are a few flaws."*

### Irregular Glognuts

**"Daredevil's Glognut"** Red
These Glognuts are only for the **“strongest”**, but should NEVER be eaten (if you want to live long). Since these are made with Red Goobabs, these are going to pack quite the punch, and will really give you a challenge. Yes, Red Goobab Glognuts *are* somewhat edible, but there is a possibility of death.

*Best served alongside: N/A*

*Critic reviews: **3/10** - "Better than you'd think. Quite tasty, but having more than one will have negative effects. Good challenge!"*
**"Killer"** Black
The first inedible Glognut, woohoo! Since these are made with Black Goobabs, these things WILL kill on touch. It's best not to eat them, unless you can't afford the Youth On Aisa coaster, then it's a win.

*Best served alongside: N/A*

*Critic reviews: **0.5/10** - "It’s kinda a quicker alternative to Azure Glognuts without a drink."*
**"Enphosotron 3000"** Grey
Like the nickname, eating these Glognuts will turn you into an Enphosian. That's because the Grey Goobabs were at their final Enphosian Corruption stage. Good for… torture chambers, I guess…

*Best served alongside: N/A*

*Critic reviews: **0/10** - "This rating's self explanitory."*
**"Explorer"** White
When you eat these White Goobab Glognuts, you turn into a ball of light and are flung somewhere in Glaggleland. Don't worry, you survive the fall. Perfect for people with a Magic Mirror to get home.

*Best served alongside: N/A*

*Critic reviews: **5/10** - "I can probably see a bit of use in the flinging part."*
**"Drugnut"** Rainbow
You will 100% fall asleep when you eat these. They're super tasty, flashy, and give you alot of Vitamin J! This is because they use Rainbow Goobabs, the best Goobabs; on par with Pink.

*Best served alongside: N/A*

*Critic reviews: **10/10** - "What do I have to say? Try it yourself!"*