Headhunters 2: The Ferocious Fifteen

## Introduction

Deep breath, everybody. We made it. Week five was the toughest week yet, as people made difficult decisions about multiple games that may or may not be played. It was all very weird and it seems like this may only get worse as the season goes on and the league has fewer options for schedule reorganization. But we did it. Five weeks down, four teams eliminated. And this week we say goodbye to last year's Cinderella (SAD!)....

## In Memoriam: Cam Shaft

It was a tough year for Cam Shaft. It all started on draft night when they had a party to attend which I will not pass judgment on even though we are in the middle of a pandemic and I have been holed up in my 400 square foot apartment for seven months with no end in sight. This amounted to them not getting a defense. Not because they forgot to take one, necessarily. But because they waited until around the 300th pick, at which point the other 18 teams had collectively drafted all 32 defenses. Of course, Leonard Fournette then got released right before the season started.

It seemed inevitable that Cam Shaft would be going home in the opening week of the season, but at the last minute they were able to pull off a trade with Clydesdales that sent him Denver's defense in exchange for Deebo Samuel. These two teams also traded with each other last season, only for Clydesdales to be eliminated week one.

But with no winning bids through five weeks, all this trade did was delay the inevitable.

Cam Shaft was the perfect storm of suck this week and still somehow was in contention late Monday night, when Jared Cook stuck him with a dagger touchdown that gave his trade partner Clydesdales a narrow edge.

Cam Shaft finished in the top five last season and is the first of the final five to go home. That makes three eliminations in a row where top ten teams have left us, which goes to show that anything can happen.

Cam Shaft:

## New Releases

1. Tyreek Hill
2. Aaron Rodgers
3. CeeDee Lamb
4. Mark Ingram
5. Phillip lINDSAY

## Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020)

Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020)
 Bad Boys
 Bobecue Chicken
 Cam Shaft

## Week Five Bidding Results

Week Five Bidding Results
 Justin Jackson
 Frank Gore
 Leonard Fournette

Last Year's most expensive week five player: Julio Jones ($521)

## Money Spent Per Week

Money Spent Per Week
 3
 4
 5

It doesn't get much harder than it did in week five for bidding.

## Week Five Results

* Biggest Climber: Ya Hate 2 See It/It's Blitz! Track 2 (^9)

* Biggest Faller: Neck-Fix and Chill (v10)

## Kings of the Castle

### 1. @FFDraftScott

A team that was eliminated by this point last season, Scott was the only team to break 200 in week 5 and he did it with two Bengals players combining for 4.40 points. AJ Green might be the biggest bust bid in HH history, but on the fliip side Myles Gaskin is doing alright for the 269th overall pick.

### 2. The Guilloteam

Got himself a little Fitzmagic this week, but we all know the real trick is benching him at the right time. Magic 101, a magician never reveals his tricks and a Fitzpatrick never breaks 45 fantasy points consistantly across an entire season.

### 3. It's Blitz! Track 2

Ranked just 10th overall on the season, Blitz found himself as the beneficiary of two depleted backfields in week 5 with his two RBs Henderson and Devonta Freeman both breaking 20 points. That is huge for them as they get Julio Jones and Melvin Gordon back this week.

### 4. Out of Luck

It cannot be overstated how consistent and talented this team is and also how utterly autodrafted it is.

### 5. Ya Hate to See It

The man is a wizard. Talk about magic. Someone tell me a team with Darnell Mooney, Cedrick Wilson, J.D. McKissic, and Eric Ebron did not just score 180 points in a PPR in America in the year 2020.

## On the Chopping Block

### 15. Clydesdales

The 14th ranked team somehow survives again, even with Joe Burrow's measely 11.37 points at QB and Kansas City's 6.00 points on defense. 4.73 from Deebo, 4.50 from Isaiah Ford, 3.70 from Pascal, 6 from McLaurin. Where did the points come from?

### 14. Hasta Laviska Baby

This team seems to have been on borrowed time with the way they've been hit by injuries and byes. But now Chris Godwin, Noah Fant, and Aaron Jones are sliding back into starting positions. The window to eliminate Hasta may have just closed.

### 13. Neck-Fix and Chill

There will be no chill in Neck-Fix's aggressive push for Aaron Rodgers this week with the loss of Dak Prescott, that I can assure you. The top-scoring team in the league just lost a player who had scored 25% of the team's total points.

### 14. Carole Pigskin

Oh how the X chromosomes have fallen. Carole Pigskin didn't se her lineup this week, leaving in Sexy Rexy and Tim Patrick. Strategy? Perhaps. Carole better hope, since the Fantasy Gods do not like it when people forget their lineups. Also, can we talk about how much Zach Ertz fucking sucks? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

## Average Scores of Eliminated Teams

Average Scores of Eliminated Teams
 Cam Shaft
 Bad Boys
 Steve Blackman's Nun

## Narrow Defeats

Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:

Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
 Bad Boys
 Bobecue Chicken
 Steve Blackman's Nun

## Rulers of the Kingdom

2020 first place finishers:

Top Scorers by Week
 2
 3
 4
 5

## Dungeon Dwellers

2020 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:

Low Scorers by Week
 2
 3
 4
 5