Ace Savvy: A Cold and Chili Day

**Here’s my third Ace Savvy story, this one was inspired by the Loud House short Deuces Wild! Warning: story contains Lowbrow Humor.**

*[We open on the sun, partially obscured by clouds in the sky. Tilt down to a power plant  protected by a chain-link fence. Cut to close up to a control panel and a pair of black gloved hands touches it, and then some current starts crackling. These hands belong to a white man with a blue mohawk, a black tank top with a large blue lighting bolt, and blue jeans. This is the Electromancer, named after someone who practices the divination of electricity.]*

**Electromancer:** Awesome if I do so myself. Pretty soon, I will have all the city's power.

**Ace Savvy:** *[offscreen]* Electromancer! *[pan over to him, One-Eyed Jack, and Full Deck.]* That power belongs to the city, not you.

**Electromancer:** That's what you think, Full House Gang!

*[He pounds the floor, sending a few thousand amperes straight at the team; they scatter to avoid the shock. Ace Savvy throws some cards; Electromancer creates a radiant shield around himself to block them.He then blasts some bolts, but He flips over the bolts and the Electromancer. He lands behind him.]*

**Electromancer:** You're fast, but I doubt you'll enjoy moving at the speed of light!

*[He blasts a large beam of lighting, causing it to glow and emit a wide-angle blast that propels Ace in the wall.]*

**High Card:** Ace! *[grits her teeth]*

*[High Card leaps high and has his fighting staff out and extended in a trice, and he twirls to block the shot and then flings a handful of discs. Electromancer deflects these easily and blasts High Card across the room; she passes Night Club, who then flies over to Electromancer.]*

**Night Club:** That's a real pretty light show, *[breaking out her guitar]* but sound packs a bigger punch!

*[Night Club hits him with a sound blast, sending him skidding across the floor. Night Club jets over the Electromancer, and fires a string of swings, but Electromancer dodges the attacks and grabs her by the neck. Night Club gets shocked and she gets tossed aside.]*

**Eight of Spades:***[offscreen]* You may light, *[cut to her]* but I’m darkness.

**Electromancer:** That may be true, but light always beats dark!

*[He throws several glowing globes at the Eight of Spades, but she deflects them with her shovel; She then lunges at Electromancers and hits him with several swings. She then goes in for another swing, but Electromancer crosses his arms into an “X”, creating a massive wave of electricity; this sends Eight of Spades flying across the room.]*

**Strong Suit:***[offscren]* Watch yourself, lightweight.

*[Pan over to Strong Suit, who stomps her feet on the floor, and pulls out a large chunk, and holds it over her head.]*

**Strong Suit:** Things are about to get heavy!

*[She throws the chunk at the Electromancer, but he blasts the chunk to pieces. Strong Suit charges at the Electromancer, and hits him with a strong haymaker. She then leaps over to him and delivers a flying kick, but he then uses electromagnetism to suspend Strong Suit in midair; Electromancer throws Strong Suit, and she goes screaming across the room.]*

**Eleven of Hearts:** Alright, my turn~!

*[She runs in, twirling her sash, and hurls the sash, but Electromancer produces a glowing whip and it gets tied to Eleven of Hearts’ sash. Electricity cascades down her sash and she gets shocked, and she goes flying across the room. Joker rushes in and tries to hit him with her spring loaded boxing glove and fires an electric blast. Joker avoids the blast, pulls out her Pie launcher, and shoots a pie at him.]*

**Joker:** Looks like I gave you’re just desserts! *[laughs]*

*[Card Counter comes in and pulls out a pair of laser guns, and she starts shooting at Electromancer. Electromancer puts up his shield and blocks the shots. Queen of Diamonds starts throwing some daggers at him; Deuce throws some diapers; One-Eyed Jack then shoots some poker chips, but Electromancer blocks all of the attacks and starts levitating in the air.]*

**Electromancer:** You’ll never defeat me! Electricity is too powerful for you to beat!

*[Electromancer charges up his hand and releases several bolts of electricity from his fingers.]*

**Ace Savvy:** Guys, look out!

*[Ace Savvy moves out of the way, so does High Card, Night Club, Joker, Strong Suit, Card Counter, Deuce, One-Eyed Jack, and Eight of Spades, but Eleven of Hearts gets shocked and she screams in pain. The Bolt flies over the Queen of Diamonds.]*

**Queen of Diamonds:** Diamond shield! *[summons her shield and blocks the bolts]*

**Electromancer:** UNLIMTIED POWER!

*[Cut to Royal Flush dodging the bolts, she then bounds away and gets into the duck and cover position. She then glances at an exposed water pipe.]*

**Royal Flush:** That’s it!

*[Ace Savvy throws a card at Electromancer, but he dodges and blasts at Ace. He gets shocked and shrieks in pain; cut to Electromancer smiling and chuckling.]*

**Royal Flush:** *[offscreen]* Hey Sparky! *[cut to her standing next to the pipe, and her wrench attached to the pipe]* You’re all washed up!

*[Royal Flush loosens the pipe and it sprays a large wave of water.]*

**Ace Savvy:** Incoming!

*[The gang quickly disperse as the water heads towards Electromancer]*

**Electromancer:** NOOO!

*[The wave engulfs him and he flows out of the air, and he crashes into the wall. He then regains his bearings and tries to shoot another bolt, but only small electrical currents.]*

**Electromancer:** No, this can be.

*[With a roar, Ace Savvy lunges over to him and hits him with a roundhouse kick, knocking him unconscious.]*

**Ace Savvy:** Lights out!

**One-Eyed Jack:** Nice shot, Ace.

**Ace Savvy:** Thanks, but Lana’s the one who released the water,

**Strong Suit:** Oh yeah, nice one, Lans!

**Royal Flush:** All in a handyman’s day's work!

*\*\*\**

*[We cut to the police arresting the Electromancer and Officer Schoffner talking to the Full House Gang.]*

**Officer Schoffner:** Great job, Full House Gang, you caught another mutant freak.

**Electromancer:** Hey! Who are you calling a freak?!

**Female Officer:** *[pushes him forward]* Just move it along.

**High Card:** It was no trouble at all, Officer.

**Ace Savvy:** If you need us, you know where to find us.

**One-Eyed Jack:** Well, technically you don’t know where to find us because we never told where we are, but you get the idea.

*[The gang gets their van and they drive off. The Police put Electromancer in the prison van, and they drive off. Cut to Full House Gang driving through Royal Woods.]*

**High Card:** So guys, what do you say we go get some lunch?

**Ace Savvy:** Good idea, Lori.

**High Card:** Where should we go?

**Ace Savvy:** How ‘bout Burpin’ Burger?

**Royal Flush:** Nah, we went there last week.

**Ace Savvy:** Gus’ Games and Grub?

**Strong Suit:** Eh, been there, done that.

**Ace Savvy:** Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet?

**Night Club:** Nah, dude, I’m not really in the mood for anything Mexican or French.

**Royal Flush:** *[thinks]* Ooh, I know! How ‘bout we go to that new place Chili My Bowl?! I heard that place is really good.

**Ace Savvy:** How do you know?

**Royal Flush:** I saw a video of a guy reviewing it.

**Queen of Diamonds:** *[raises an eyebrow]* Are you sure you trust some guy on the internet?

**Royal Flush:** This guy is famous, I think he knows what he’s talking about.

**Ace Savvy:** Well, I guess we could give it a try. You know what they say, you shouldn’t knock it until you try it.

**High Card:** Okay, Chili My Bowl it is.

*[The Full House Gang arrives at Chili My Bowl, and when they go inside, they are greeted by a collective gasp from the employees.]*

**Waiter:** It’s the Full House Gang!

**Waitress:** The one and only team!

**Hostess:** My boss is a fan of you guys, right this way.

**Ace Savvy:** Thank you.

*[The hostess brings them to their table and the gang look at their menus. Few minutes, the waitress comes to their table.]*

**Waitress:** Okay, have you decided yet?

**Ace Savvy:** Yes, I’ll have the Chili Mac and Cheese.

**One-Eyed Jack:** I have the Tex Mex Chili with sour cream and tortilla chips.

**High Card:** I’ll have the Chili with Rice.

**Eleven of Hearts:** I’ll have the Cornbread topped Chili.

**Night Club:** I’ll have the Philly Cheesesteak Chili with extra Provolone Cheese.

**Joker:** I’ll have the Beans and Weiners Chili, and to be *frank* with you, I'm going to love it *[laughs]*

**Strong Suit:** I’ll have Spicy Jalapeno Chili with extra jalapenos and extra hot sauce!

**Eight of Spade:** I’ll have the Black Bean Chili with extra black beans.

**Royal Flush:** I have the large Chili Cheese Fries bowl. Extra Chili and extra cheese!

**Queen of Diamonds:** I have the Chili Con Carne.

**Card Counter:** I’ll have Corn and Beef Chili. Vegetables can help stimulate the mind. Our youngest sibling will have the small Chili in a cup.

**Deuce:** Mmm-hmm.

**Waitress:** All good choices! By the way, everything is on the house.

**Ace Savvy:** Great. Man, the service is nice.

**High Card:** Yeah, good call, Lana.

**Royal Flush:** Thanks, I heard this place is better than that restaurant across the street.

*[Cut to shot of the restaurant with a glowing sign; it is called the Chili Bucket; the “C” on the sign blacks out; the camera pans over to the heroes looking through the window.]*

**Eleven of Hearts:** What’s wrong with that one?

**Royal Flush:** The service is really bad, the chili sometimes comes out cold, and I heard someone found a thumb in their chili.

*[Everyone else cringes in disgust]*

**Queen of Diamonds:** How does that even happen?!

**Card Counter:** It was most likely from the process of cutting vegetables.

**Eleven of Hearts:** Gross! I would not eat there if that happened!

**Card Counter:** I’m more baffled that the health department hasn’t shut it down.

**Eight of Spades:** I guess no one reported them.

**High Card:** That’s literally stupid, who wouldn’t report a restaurant for that?

**Eleven of Hearts:** Yeah, that’s like not reporting a hair salon for chopping someone’s ear off.

**Strong Suit:** Or not reporting a gym for a defective treadmill.

**Ace Savvy:** Well, guys, let’s just be glad we’re eating here.

*[The waitress arrives at the table with their food.]*

**Royal Flush:** Speaking of which, the food's here!

*[The heroes start eating their chili. While most of them eat their food with spoons and forks, Lana eats her chili fries by grabbing handfuls of them. As the heroes were eating, the camera pulls  over to a man in the Chili Bucket, watching from the window; this man has hair on his arms and he is wearing a white shirt, an apron with the words, “IRON CHEF” on it, a chef’s hat, blue jeans, and black loafers.This man is named John Pepper. He has an angry expression on his face.]*

**John Pepeper:** *[growls]* I'm tired of that restaurant taking all of my business! If I don’t get business booming soon, I’ll go out of business! *[to his emplooyees]* Anybody got any ideas?

**Male Employee # 1:** Um...we could do a commercial.

**John Pepper:** We can’t, we don’t have the budget for a commercial. Anybody else?

**Female Employee # 1:**  We could give away free samples.

**John Pepper:** That’s just wasting money! Anybody else have a better idea?

**Male Employee # 2:** We could open up a salad bar.

**John Pepper:** *[deadpans]* Okay, now that’s just boring. Anyone have any cheap and exciting ideas?!

**Female Employee # 2:** We could try making a recipe.

**John Pepper:** Good idea!

*[Everyone follows the kitchen and John Pepper opens up a cabinet full of several viles and flasks.]*

**John Pepper:** Good thing I studied chemical science in college. If I use one of these, I’ll create the best chili that Royal Woods has ever seen!

*[John grabs a flask label “EXPLOSIVE SPICE”, he puts a tiny drop on his finger and licks it. He blows fire out of his mouth.]*

**John Pepper:** Ooh, zesty. This’ll be perfect.

*[We see some jump cuts that show Pepper making a batch of chili; A shot of his hand turning on the stove ;a shot of him putting ground beef in the pot, a shot of Pepper cutting some vegetables, a shot of the blender pureeing tomatoes, and a shot of him adding some seasoning and spices, a shot of Pepper stirring the pot, and a overhead shot of simmered chili.]*

**John Pepper:** Alright, let’s make this chili taste so good it’ll cause people for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

*[John adds hot sauce, BBQ sauce, worcestershire sauce, Ketchup, and Oyster sauce.]*

**John Pepper:** Now for the main ingredient.

*[He grabs the explosive spice and puts a small drop in the bot.]*

**John Pepper:** Perfect.

*[Cut to an exterior of the restaurant  and we see splatter everywhere. The sauce gets on the windows. Cut to John and his employees covered in sauce.]*

**John Pepper:** Or not, let’s try another recipe.

*\*\*\**

*[We cut to a montage of John Pepper and Employees making and testing different chili recipes.]*

*\*John Pepper gives a male employee a bowl of chili, he eats it and he likes it. He asks what’s in and he shows a vial labeled “SKIN BLEACH”. He turns a pale white and he freaks out.*

*\*A female chef is seen stirring a pot of chili and John comes in, and pours a liquid into the pot. Female chef tastes it and he likes it. She asks what’s in it and he shows a vial labeled “ENERGY JUICE”. She freezes, grows a large smile, and runs all over the kitchen. Pepper shakes his head*

*\* John Pepper gives the other male employee a bowl of chili, he eats it and he likes it. He asks what’s in and he shows a vial labeled “GLOWING ESSENCE ”. He turns off the kitchen’s light and the employee glows in the dark. Pepper shakes his head*

*\*John Pepper spoon-feeds the other female employee and she likes it. She asks what’s in it and he shows a vial labeled “FREEZY FROST”. Suddenly she turns blue all over, frost coming out of her ears, and freezes in an ice block.*

*\*\*\**

*[We cut to Johnny Pepper massaging his temples and groaning.]*

**John Pepper:** None of these stupid potions worked! Now, what am I?!

**Male Employee # 1:** I’m sorry to say this,  boss, but we’ll never be better than Chili My Bowl.

**Female Employee # 1:** Let’s just give up.

**John Pepper:** No! I won’t let that restaurant win! I’m going to do whatever it takes to takedown Chili My Bowl, *[points at his employees]* and you all are gonna help me!

*[The employees look at each other and become trepidatious]*

**Male Employee #2:** I have a bad feeling about this.

**Female Employee # 2:** Me too.

*\*\*\**

*[We cut to the next day at the Loud Mansion and in the living room, the kids are doing some activities. Lynn is playing indoor roller hockey, Lucy is reading a "Vampires of Melancholia'' novel, Lisa solving a Rubik’s Cube, Leni is brushing her hair, Lori and Lincoln are playing video games, Luna is playing guitar while Clyde is playing drums, Lola is playing her dolls and her dollhouse, Lana playing tug-of-war with Charles with a bone, Lily is shaking her rattle, and Luan juggling some balls.]*

**Lincoln:** Hey, guys, what do you think Dad’s doing for dinner?

**Lynn:** *[while rolling around]* I don’t know, maybe Fried Trout!

**Luan:** Maybe beef stroganoff, I can't get anoff of that! *[laughs]*

**Lynn Sr.:** *[barges through the door]* Hey, everyone get in Vanzilla! We’re going out!

**Lincoln:** What? But you said you were going to cook tonight.

**Lynn Sr.:** That was before I found this compelling smell.

*[The kids look at each other in confusion]*

**Lincoln:** That’s weird.

*[We cut to the Louds and McBrides arriving at the Chili Bucket]*

**Lincoln:** The Chili Bucket?

**Rita:** What are we doing here?

**Harold:** I heard someone found a thumb in their chili.

**Howard:** That’s exactly why we don’t come here.

**Lynn Sr.:** Well, they have new chili and it smells so good!

*[They go inside and find the place is packed. Multiple people are eating the new chili they made.]*

**Luna:** Wow, this place really bounced back.

**Lana:** Yeah.

*[They sit down at a table and a waitress comes to their table.]*

**Waitress:** Hi there, would you like the new Chili Bucket Supreme?

**Lincoln:** Well….

**Lynn Sr.:** Yes, yes! We’ll all take it!

**Luna:** Geez, dude, the smell must’ve got him all hopped up.

*[The waitress goes to the kitchen and then she suddenly comes with buckets full of chili. She puts the bucket on their tables.]*

**Lynn Sr.:** Well, guys, dig it.

**Lincoln:** Okay, we’ll try it.

**Howard:** *[nervous]* There better not be a thumb

*[All of them taste the chili and their eyes sparkle and smiles grow across their face.]*

**Lori:** Oh my gosh! This chili is literally delicious~!

**Leni:** Totes~!

**Luna:** I could eat this forever!

**Luan:** Me two!

**Lynn:** Me three!

**Lucy:** Me four.

**Lana:** Me five!

**Lola:** Me six!

**Lisa:** Me seven!

**Lincoln:** Me eight!

**Clyde:** Me nine!

**Rita:** Come on! Let’s eat before it gets cold!

*[The family continues eating and they go as fast as possible. We cut back to the Loud Mansion where the kids lie down on the couch with full stomachs.]*

**Lynn:** Man, that was awesome!

**Lana:** The Chili Bucket is way better than Chili My Bowl!

**Luan:** You can say that again!

*[The wall opens up and Kirby comes out of the elevator.]*

**Kirby:** Kids, you might want to come to Ace-Cave.

**Lincoln:** Oh, okay!

*[The kids go down to the Ace-Cave and when they get here, they go over to the Ace computer. The computer shows a report of a break-in at a place called Whole Products.]*

**Lincoln:** Someone broke into Whole Products?

**Clyde:** The most natural store in Royal Woods? What could have been stolen?

**Lincoln:** There's only one way to find out: we'll have to investigate.

**Luan:** I bet this mission will be more *whole-*some! *[laughs]*

*[Everyone groans and roll their eyes]*

**Lincoln:** Let’s just suit up.

*[The kids suit up, pile into vanzilla, and drive off. The gang arrives at Whole Products. Inside we see the female manager with blonde hair talking to some policemen.]*

**Manager:** I just did some restocking. One minute they’re here, the next they’re gone.

**Ace Savvy:** We’re here, what happened?

**Manager:**  Someone stole my Aji Charapitas!

**Eleven of Hearts:** *[tilts her head]* What Aji Cherry-what?

**Ace Savvy:** Aji Charapitas, they’re the most expensive peppers in the world. They come from the cities of Iquitos and Pucallpa and now grow especially in the Departamentos of Ucayali, Loreto and Madre de Dios. The plant grows preferably in areas with a hot climate, high humidity and soils with a high quantity of organic matter.

**Card Counter:** How do you know so much about these peppers?

**Ace Savvy:** Ronnie Anne’s dad told her and she told me. Anyway, ma’am, we’ll find out who took your peppers?

**Manager:** Oh, thank you. *[grabs some boxes of granola bars]* Here, have some all-natural, sugar free granola bars. On the house. *[puts them in Ace’s arms]*

**Ace Savvy:** Uh... thanks.

*[We cut to the gang driving through Royal Woods. In the back, Royal Flush is eating some of the bars.  High Card’s phone starts ringing and she picks it up.]*

**High Card:** Hello? Hey Kirby, what’s the status? *[beat]* What? Don’t worry, we’ll get over there right away! *[hangs up]* Guys, there was also a break-in at the deli?

**Strong Suit:** I thought Chandler and Maroney got that place closed down.

**High Card:** No, the other deli. We need to go there.

**Ace Savvy:** Alright, let’s go.

*[The gang made a left turn and they arrived at Deli. Inside we see the deli manager with blonde hair talking to some policemen.]*

**Deli Manager:** I went home, right? And when I come back, blammo! All of it is gone!

**Ace Savvy:***[offscren* Nobody panic, *[the camera pans over to them]* we’re here.

**Joker:** It’s nice *meat* to you! *[laughs]* Get it?

*[Everyone groans and roll their eyes]*

**Night Club:** Anyway, what’s the sitch?

**Deli Manager:** Someone broke in and stole my supply of Wagyu Beef.

**Eleven of Hearts:** What beef?

**Ace Savvy:** Wagyu Beef. Wagyu is any of the four Japanese breeds of beef cattle. In several areas of Japan, Wagyu beef is shipped carrying area names. Some examples are Matsusaka beef, Kobe beef, Yonezawa beef, Mishima beef, Ōmi beef, and Sanda beef.

**High Card:** Okay, how do you know that?

**Ace Savvy:** Dad told me.

**Joker:** Boy, I wonder what the crook’s *beef* is with the manager! *[laughs]*

**Ace Savvy:** Don’t worry, sir, we’ll find who stole your beef.

**Deli Manager:** Thank you very much. *[grabs some veal cutlets and puts them in a bag]* Here’s some veal. On the house, my kids are fans of you.

**Strong Suit:** Thank you.

**Joker:** So this is how it *veals* to get things for free! *[laughs]*

*[We cut to gang riding in vanziila, but then several cars drive right past them.]*

**Queen of Diamonds:** What’s the hurry?!

*[We pan over to the Chili Bucket where dozens of people give their money away and get dozens of Chili Bucket Supreme. John Pepper grabs the wad of cash and he brings it to the kitchen.]*

**John Pepper:**  Yes, Yes, YES! I’m gonna be rich! Beat that Chili My Bowl! *[throws around the money and laughs maniacally]* With this money I could open up a whole chain of restaurants. That’ll run Chilli My Bowl out of business for sure.

*\*\*\**

*[We cut to Lincoln and Lynn playing a video game called FIFA Soccer 01. They were playing on the same team. One of their players scored a goal, winning the game. The score was 12-11]*

**Lynn:** Yes! We did it! *[pauses]*Hey, Lincoln, since we both won, you won’t mind if I…?

**Lincoln:** *[chuckles and rolls his eyes]* Go ahead, Lynn.

*[Lynn cheers and leaps onto the couch, she starts shaking her butt.]*

**Lynn:** Uh-huh, uh-huh~! We won! We won!

**Lincoln:** *[to the viewers]* If she’s not rubbing her victory in my face, her dancing doesn’t bother me.

*[Lori and Leni came in with their phones in their hands.]*

**Lori:** Hey guys, have you seen this new commercial?

*[Lori plays the commercial. John Pepper is shown standing in front of a blue.]*

**John Pepper:** Hi, I’m John Pepper. Are you hungry for chili? Not just for chili, for the best chili?*[Background dissolves to the Chili Bucket}* Come on down to the Chili Bucket! *[Cut to a moving shot of multiple kinds of chili]* We have several varieties of delicious chili, *[Cut to a shot of bucket of chili on a cake stand]* but our most chili is our Chili Bucket Supreme.

**Lincoln:** Wow, I never thought it could be popular.

**John Pepper:** So if you want the best chili, come on down to the Chili Bucket. It’s a bucket for your mouth.

**Lynn:** Man, he bounced because of that one item.

**Lori:** I know, right?  It’s literally strange. Restaurants don’t save themselves from bankruptcy just from just one menu item.

**Lincoln:** One thing that puzzles me is the chili. People all over are obsessed with it.

**Leni:** I know, check out this review of the chili. *[plays a video]*

**Reviewer:** Man, this chili is dope! You can really taste the wagyu beef in this stuff!

**Lincoln:** Wait a minute, *[pauses the video]* did he say he tastes wagyu beef?

**Leni:** Uh, yeah.

**Lincoln:** Call me crazy, but I think John Pepper is one that stole the wagyu beef and those peppers.

**Lori, Leni, and Lynn:** What?

**Lincoln:** Think about, before the Chili Bucket was losing business, but now they’re suddenly starting to bounce back. The only way for them to do that is by using the most expensive pepper and the tastiest beef. That’s why people are obsessed with it.

**Lori:** I don’t know, Lincoln. That sounds like a stretch. It could be possible that Pepper could’ve had wagyu beef or maybe it’s not wagyu beef at all. Maybe he just thinks it’s wagyu beef.

**Lincoln:** Oh, really? Then let’s play the rest of the video then. *[unpauses the video]*

**Reviewer:** I can tell it’s wagyu beef because it has a buttery and almost sweet taste. It goes hand and hand with this sauce. *[the video pauses]*

**Lincoln:** See? Dad told me that’s what wagyu beef tastes like.

**Lynn:** Okay, you're right about the beef, but you still don't have any evidence that it has Aji Charapitas.

**Lincoln:** Alright, then we’ll get help from Lisa.

*[We cut to Lisa and Lily’s room where Lisa is working on some chemicals.]*

**Lisa:** And now, to add a single drop of the concentrated acid...*[prepares the drop]*

**Lincoln:***[offscren]* Lisa! *[Lisa gets startled and almost drops the beaker, but she salvages it in the nick of time.]* Do you have an analyzer?

**Lisa:** Why in particular are you asking if I have such a device?

**Lori:** Because Lincoln thinks that John Pepper, the owner of the Chili Bucket, has stolen the wagyu beef and the Aji Charapita peppers.

**Lynn:** And we need to analyze his chili to see if those are the ingredients.

**Lisa:** Well, I am in fact working on an Object Analyzer, however, it’ll take me the rest of the month to complete.

**Lincoln:** Dang it! Okay, minor setback, we’ll break into the restaurant after hours and find evidence.

**Lori:** Are you sure that’s a good idea?

**Lincoln:** I’m sure, besides we gotta find out who the thief is somehow. When does the Chili Bucket close?

**Lori:***[checks her phone]* 10 O'clock.

**Lincoln:** Then that’s when we’ll go.

*\*\*\**

*[Later that night, we see employees leaving the building and turning off the lights. Pan up to the Full House Gang standing on top of a nearby building. A shot of High Card’s phone shows 9:59 pm then the time changes to 10:00 pm]*

**Ace Savvy:** There’s our cue. Alright, team, let’s move.

*[The caped members glide off the building while High Card, Card Counter, and Eleven of Hearts swing grapple over to the building, and Night Club and Strong Suit fly and leap over to the building. The gang gets to the roof vent and Strong Suit uses pry it open. The gang goes through the vent and then arrives at the kitchen. The Card Counter looks around the kitchen and sees security cameras.]*

**Card Counter:** Lincoln, I don’t anticipate that there would be security cameras.

**Strong Suit:** *[boastfully]*That’s no problem, I’ll take them out in no time!

**Night Club:** That’s not such a good idea, dude. They could know someone broke in.

**Strong Suit:** Oh, good point.

**Card Counter:** Fear not, I have a non-leathal way to disable these cameras.

*[Card Counter pulls out her disruptor and she disables all of the cameras.]*

**High Card:** Good thinking, Lisa.

**Card Counter:** Why, thank you.

**Ace Savvy:** Now, here’s the plan. *[points a door]* There’s Mr. Pepper’s office, me and Lisa will go in there and look for a receipt while the rest of you look for pepper stems. Got it?

*[The other heroes nod]*

**Ace Savvy:** Okay, break!

*[Some of the heroes disperse while Ace and Card Counter go to John Pepper’s office. High Card and Eleven of Hearts look on the counters; Strong Suit, One-Eyed Jack, Deuce, and Eight of Spades scan the floor; Night Club and Joker looking under a cabinet; Royal Flush and Queen of Diamonds are standing towards two trash cans.]*

**Queen of Diamonds:** Nope, not doing it.

**Royal Flush:** Lola, we need to do this! This is a mystery and we need to look for clues.

**Queen of Diamond:***[groans]* Fine~! I’ll do it!

*[Queen of Diamond goes to one of the draws and grabs a pair of rubber. She puts them on pants and the twins rummaging through the trash cans. Cut back to Night Club and Joker searching.]*

**Night Club:** Do you see anything?

**Joker:** Hmmm…*[sees something and gasps]* I see a stem! *[she grabs it and it turns out to be toothpick]* Aw man, it’s just a dumb ol’ toothpick.

*[Cut to Ace Savvy and Card Counter looking through John Pepper’s office. The Card Counter then finds a Receipt book.]*

**Card Counter:** Lincoln, look. I found a receipt book.

**Ace Savvy:** Perfect, let’s see what’s in it.

*[Ace Savvy and Card Counter start skimming through the book.]*

**Ace Savvy:** Let see...furniture, kitchen appliances, ah, Meat! *[ Cut to a close of the book and Ace’s finger going down the list of meat cuts]* Let’s see Chuck Roast, Sirloin, Rounds...

*[Cut to High Card looking on the floor and then she gasps as she finds a Aji Charapita pepper stem]*

**High Card:***[picks it up]* Guys, I found a stem!

**Strong Suit:** Sweet!

**Queen of Diamonds:** Oh, thank goodness! My nose is killing me! *[walks away from the trash can]*

*[Royal Flush continues going through the trash, but then she stumbles upon a bowl full of chili.]*

**Royal Flush:** What kind of person throws away a perfectly good bowl?!

*[Royal Flush tips her head back and takes a swig from the bowl. She licks her face.]*

**Ace Savvy:***[he and Card Counter come out of the office]* Guys, you won’t believe what me and Lisa found!

**Card Counter:** We discovered that Pepper has not purchased any sets of Wagyu beef and peppers.

**Ace Savvy:** We checked his receipt book.

**High Card:** I guess you were right, Lincoln.

**Ace Savvy:** I don’t normally say this, but I told you so.

**Strong Suit:** Alright, stinkoln, no need to milk it.

**Ace Savvy:** Don’t worry, I won’t.

*[Cut to Royal Flush licking the bowl clean]*

**Royal Flush:***[stomach grumbles]* Oooooooh! I don't feel so good.

*[The team become worried and  they go over to Royal Flush]*

**High Card:** Lana, are you okay?!

**Royal Flush:** No, no I’m not!

**Card Counter:** Was that chili expired?

**Royal Flush:** I didn’t taste expired!

**Strong Suit:** Is the chili poisoned?

**Royal Flush:** I think I would know if it was poisoned!

*[She gagged and then thrashed on the floor, groaning and yelling in pain. As she gets on all fours, the growling in her stomach gets louder.]*

**One-Eyed Jack:** Lana!

**Royal Flush:** Oh, man, oh, man! I think I’m gonna explode! I’m gonna....

*[She lets out a huge fart. The rest of the heroes cough and splutter]*

**Joker:** Geez Louise, that is ripe!

**Queen of Diamonds:***[fanning the stench away]* This smells worse than Lori and Lynn’s gas!

**Royal Flush:** Well, at least  I feel-*[farts]* Sorry, *[farts again]* Sorry, *[farts again]* Sorry, *[farts one more time]* Sorry.

**One-Eyed Jack:** What did Pepper put in that chili?

*[Card Counter narrows her eyes and spots the cabinet]*

**Card Counter:** I believe that cabinet will give us the answer.

*[Card Counter opens the cabinet and finds Pepper’s vial and flask collection.  Card Counter becomes intrigued]*

**Card Counter:** Huh, it seems John Pepper is a chemist.

*[She then sees a flask labeled “FLASK OF FLATULENCE “.]*

**Card Counter:** The Flask of Flatulence?

*[Card Counter takes the flask and looks on the back, and finds a label]*

**Card Counter:** It seems to be a potion that causes the drinker--or in this case the eater--to relentlessly pass gas. The effects are stomach cramps and producing high amounts of flatulence every few seconds.

**Royal Flush:** Really? *[farts]*

**Card Counter:** Yes, really.

**High Card:** What are the ingredients of that stuff?

**Card Counter:** Beans, lentils, asparagus, broccoli, prunes,brussels sprouts, and cabbage.

**One-Eyed Jack:** Why do you think Pepper threw it away?

*[Royal Flush lets loose another loud fart. The heroes fan it away as they cough.]*

**Strong Suit:** I guess he didn’t want people going around town tooting.

**Ace Savvy:** *[sees an empty vial]* Wait, what was in that vial?

*[Card Counter grabs the vial and it is labeled “ESSENCE OF ATTRACTION”.]*

**Card Counter:** This must be what gives the chili such a compelling smell.

**Ace Savvy:** That explains a lot. Okay guys, tomorrow will confront John Pepper and have his restaurant!

**Royal Flush:** Yeah! *[lets out a long fart]*

**Queen of Diamonds:** *[coughing]* Ugh~! When does this stuff wear off?!

**Card Counter:** In twenty four hours.

**Queen of Diamonds:** WHAT?!

**Card Counter:** Fear not, it says that the flatulence will temporarily cease. However, it will only cease for one hour at a time.

*[Royal Flush farts again and Queen of Diamonds keeps fanning the gas.]*

**Queen of Diamonds:** Well, *[coughs]* it’s better than nothing.

*\*\*\**

*[The next morning, Lincoln was sitting on the couch, eating his Zombie Bran. He grabs the remote and turns on the TV.]*

**Katherine Mulligan:** *This is Katerine Mulligan speaking John Pepper, the owner of Chili Bucket. How does it feel to have everyone rave about your chili?*

**John Pepper:** Great, my business has been booming ever since I unveiled my new chili. *[pulls out a bucket of chili and a spoon; scoops some chili]* Here, try some, Katherine. *[shoves the spoon in her mouth]*

**Katherine Mulligan:** *[swallows the chili]* *That is good. [cupping' hand to earpiece ] Uh huh, uh-huh. I'm getting word that richman Lord Tetherby [image of the Richman image appears on screen] wants Chili Bucket to cater his Masquerade Ball.*

**John Pepper:** Well, tell Teherby I say!

**Lincoln:** Holy Crud, you guys~! *[rushes upstairs]*

*[Whe he gets upstairs, Lincoln finds all of his sisters except Lana, waiting in line for the bathroom. He then hears a cacophony of farts from the bathroom.]*

**Lincoln:** Lana in the bathroom?

**Luna:** Yep, she’s been going in and out of the bathroom all morning.

**Lisa:** It seems that combining father’s Taco Surprise and the Flask of Flatulence has given our sibling a severe case of diarrhea. *[to Lola]*  I assume had a not-so-pleasant night with Lana.

**Lola:** You bet I have! Ever since she ate that chili, her sleep-farting has gotten worse! I had to sleep in Lori and Leni’s room. Lori can be gassy at times, but at least she doesn’t sleep-fart.

**Leni:** Actually Lola, one time when Dad made enchiladas, Lori asked for extra beans, and they gave her gas so bad that I-

**Lori:** Hey, Leni?

**Leni:** Yeah?

**Lori:** Shut up.

**Lincoln:** Anyway, I was watching the news, and I found out that John Pepper is catering to Lord Tetherby’s ball, and it gave me an idea. Why don’t we sneak into the party and have him confess the recipe for the Chili Supreme?

**Lori:** That’s actually not a bad idea. That literally could work.

**Leni:** But how are we gonna sneak in?

**Lincoln:** Simple, we have masks, right?

**Luna:** Well, technically I have makeup.

**Lynn:** I have a headband.

**Leni:** Me too,

**Lola:** And I have a tiara.

**Lincoln:** Well, we get some Masquerade masks and we’ll totally blend in. We should bring Mom, Dad, and Clyde’s dads along too.

**Luna:** Are you sure that’s a good idea, dude?

**Lola:** No, Linky’s right. As long as we’re proper and sophisticated, we’ll blend right in.

*[There is a pause where the only sound that can be heard is a long fart from the bathroom. After that, the toilet flushes, and Lana comes out. ]*

**Lana:** We’re out of paper.

**Lisa:** As soon as we get her flatulence under control.

*\*\*\**

*[We cut to later that night at Tetherby’s mansion. Inside, we pan past several guests who are eating the Chili Bucket Supreme. We stop at a shot of John Pepper and Lord Tetherby.]*

**Lord Tetherby:** I say, Mr. Pepper, this chili is simply delightful.

**John Pepper:** Thank you, I put my blood, sweat, and tears in this chili.

**Lord Tetherby:** Good thing that was a metaphor, because otherwise, I would be retching. But no matter, this chili is still inspiring.

**John Pepper:** Thank you, Tetherby, I couldn’t say it myself.

*[The two of them keep eating their chili and so do the other guests. We cut to a limo driving to Tetherby’s mansion. Inside, the Louds and McBrides were wearing tuxedos and dresses. Luna had her Night Club makeup and a purple masquerade mask on; Lynn had on a red masquerade mask on, and Lola had a pink masquerade on.]*

**Rita:** Are you sure this is a good idea, kids?

**Lynn Sr.:** Yeah, what if they find that we’re on the list?

**Lincoln:** Don’t worry, Lisa hacked into their computer and put our names on this list. We used fake names, by the way.

**Clyde:** Besides, we can’t let Pepper get away with his crimes. He needs to be brought to justice.

**Lincoln:** All we have to do is keep our true identities hidden. *[pauses]* Okay, keep our true superhero identities and our real names hidden. If you know what I mean.

**Leni:** But do you mean we have to wear our costumes under our fancy clothes? I could get hot.

**Lori:** Leni, we told you before, this is in case we have to fight.

**Lisa:** Which there could be a 50/50 chance of happening.

**Lincoln:** But if we make it through this ball, we won’t have to.

*[They arrive at the mansion, and they arrive inside. The other guests welcome them and then Lord Tetherby goes over to them.]*

**Lord Tetherby:** Salutations, welcome to my masquerade ball. *[glances at Clyde]* Say, why are you wearing an eyepatch.

**Clyde:** Um….I had eye surgery.

**Lord Tetherby:** Oh, that makes sense. Now feel free to grab yourselves some refreshments.

*[A smell lingers towards Lynn Sr.’s nose and looks over to see the chili on the buffet table.]*

**Lynn Sr. :** Chili! *[tries to run over to the table]*

**Rita:** Lynn, we’re supposed to be sophisticated!

**Lisa:** Don’t worry, mother, it’s not his fault. It’s the essence of attraction.

**Lori:** But how are the rest of them not going crazy over the chili?

**Lisa:** Somehow, they must be immune to it.

**Lincoln:** Well, let’s act like them. Resist the urge to scarf it down like animals.

*[They go over to the table with their noses held up high. They grab some bowls and put the chili in their bowl, and they sit down at a table.]*

**Lori:** Okay, we’re in. What’s next?

**Lincoln:***[points]* You see that guy over there?

*[Cut to close-up of a guy with a mustache and gray hair, tasting the chili]*

**Lincoln:** Me and Lisa looked on the guest list and that guy’s name is Don Hamm. He’s the head executive of Oxxco, a giant company that sells anything. The company makes canned and frozen food products from popular restaurants.  I’m gonna go over to him and convince him to convince John Pepper to sell the recipe for Chili Bucket Supreme and reveal the secret of his recipe.

**Rita:** Wait, why would John Pepper reveal his recipe?

**Lincoln:** I’ll tell Don if John refuses, he should make a second offer to make him vice president of the company. Besides, he probably won’t say it contains the essence of attraction.

**Lisa:** Plus, he doesn’t have to because I have the vial right here... *[pulls out a vial]* I’ll show it to the cops.

*[Lincoln goes over to Don Hamm and taps his shoulder.]*

**Lincoln:** Hey, Mr. Hamm?

**Don Hamm:** Yes?

**Lincoln:** I got a suggestion for you…

*[We cut back to the table and Lincoln sat back in his seat.]*

**Leni:** What did he say?

**Lincoln:** He said he would talk to John.

**Luna:** Nice job, bro.

**Lincoln:** *[proudly]* They don’t call me the master of convincing for nothing.

*[Cut to John Pepper pouring himself some punch and Don Hamm approaching him.]*

**Don Hamm:** Hello, John Pepper. My name is Don Hamm and I deal for you.

**John Pepper:** Really, what is it?

**Don Hamm:** Since your chili has become popular, I want you to sell your recipe and make it into Canned Chili Bucket Supreme.

**John Pepper:** *[gasps]* My gosh, that's an offer no one can resist! I’ll take it!

**Don Hamm:** Uh-uh-uh...there’s a catch.

**John Pepper:** What?

**Don Hamm:** You have to do...reveal the recipe to your Chili Bucket Supreme.

**John Pepper:** What?! No way, I will not! It’s a secret and nothing you say will make me change my mind.

**Don Hamm:***[Encourages]* I’ll make you the vice president~.

**John Pepper:** Alright, I’ll do it.

*[John Pepper clears his throat and taps his glass with his spoon.]*

**John Pepper:** Attention, everyone, I have an announcement….

**Lincoln:** *[grins]* This is it. Lori, take out your phone.

**Lori:** Got it?

*[Lori text 911 saying “I need the Royal Woods Police Department”. There is a reply “This is the Royal Wood Police Department”.]*

**John Pepper:** Since my chili has become popular, I decided to sell my chili in your local supermarkets. But first I should tell my secret. It’s the recipe of the Chili Bucket Supreme.

*[Everyone except for the Louds and McBrides gasp* *in disbelief.]*

**John Pepper:** First let me start off with the basics. This chili contains one of the most zesty seasonings and spices. These consist of Paprika, Red Pepper, Oregano, Thyme, Cumin, Nutmeg…

*[While Pepper is talking, Lori sends the cops a text that said “We found the suspect who stole the wagyu beef and Aji Charapita peppers. The suspect is wearing a tuxedo” they replied, “what’s the suspect’s name?” Before Lori replies, she and others hear a growling sound. They find out that sound is coming from Lana, who was clutching her stomach.]*

**Lana:***[groans in pain and whispers]* I think I have to fart again.

**Lola:** *[whispers]* No, Lana, you're gonna give us away!

**Lynn:** *[whispers]* Try clenching buttcheeks? That helps me during a game.

**Lana:** *[groans]* I’ll try.

*[Cut to a shot of her butt as she clenches her cheeks and then we cut back to John Pepper talking.]*

**John Pepper:** Chili Pepper, Black Pepper, and Salt. My sauce contains crushed Tomatoes, BBQ sauce, Worcestershire Sauce, Ketchup, Spicy Mustard, Hot Sauce, and finally, crushed Aji Charapita peppers.

*[The guests murmur in delight]*

**John Pepper:** Now for the heart and soul of the chili, the meat. It’s not just any meat, it’s imported, top-of-the-line wagyu beef.

*[We cut to the gang’s table where Lori sends the cops another text, “His name is John Pepper”. She sends the text, but then the growling in Lana’s stomach gets louder as she clutches the tablecloth.]*

**Lana:** I can’t maintain this!

*[the others clamor, trying to convince her to keep holding in .]*

**Lana:** I can’t….I have to let it out!

*[Lana lets out a long and huge fart while groaning at the same time. Everyone else hears the noise and becomes caught off guard. Once the noise stops, there is an uncomfortable silence.]*

**Lord Tetherby:** Alright, who has broken wind?

*[The other guests point at Lana, who sheepishly laughs.]*

**Lola:** Nice going, you blew our cover! None of this would’ve happened if you eat that stupid chili!

**Lana:** I eat out of garbage, it’s what I do! You don't do it because you’re too much of a wimp!

**Lola:** I’LL SHOW YOU HOW MUCH OF A WIMP AM I!

*[The twins start fighting on the floor and the other guests keep staring.]*

**Lord Tetherby:** Men, get these charlatans out of here!

*[The butlers raise the parents, teenagers, and pre-teens out of their seats while two butlers break up the twins.]*

**Lincoln:** Wait, you don’t understand!

**Clyde:** John Pepper is a fraud!

**Lincoln:** He stole the Wagyu beef and Aji Charapitas!

**Clyde:** And he used a potion called the essence of attraction to compel people into eating his chili!

*[Everyone looks at John Pepper, who sweats and grins.]*

**John Pepper:** I-I-I don’t know what they’re talking about, I don’t have a potion like that.

**Lisa:** Au contraire. *[brandishes the empty bottle and turns it over, revealing his name]* It has his name on it.

**Lincoln:** That’s not the only thing.

*[Lincoln pulls out John Pepper’s receipt book]*

**Lincoln:** There’s also this.

**Lori:** You brought that with you.

**Lincoln:** This was in case something like this would happen.

*[Lord Tetherby goes over and skims through the book, and finds no sign of Wagyu beef and Aji Charapita peppers.]*

**Lord Tetherby:** *[gasps]* John, is this true, did you really steal these items?

**John Pepper:** Well...I...you see... I...I...*[sighs]* Okay, fine! I did it! I stole the beef and the peppers! But can you blame me?! Chili My Bowl has been taking my business for years! With their good services and thumb-free chili! While I had nothing! I had to do whatever it takes to get the money.

**Lincoln:** I understand, but there are other ways to get the money.

**Clyde:** And this isn’t the way.

**John Pepper:** Well, it worked until you guys came along! And you’ll pay for this! *[he opens his jacket, revealing a display of vials]* I always take some potions in case I need to...tweak my chili.

*[John goes over to the buffet and takes out a vial labeled “POTION OF THE LIVING”. Pepper pours the whole vial on all of his chilies. The chili starts glowing and this catches everyone by surprise.]*

**Clyde:** What’s happening?!

*[The chili bounds off the table and then they turn into several Chili Monsters. The monsters let out roars, causing the guest runaway screaming]*

**Lynn Sr.:** Kids, we need to get out of here!

**Howard:** Yes, it’s too dangerous!

**Lincoln:** No, take them! You guys go home!

**Howard:** But..but…

**Clyde:** Please, we can do this! We’ve done this before!

**Rita:** Okay, be careful!

*[The parents ran to the entrance along with the other frightened guests. Heroes stand firm and face off against the monsters.]*

**Lincoln:** We’re not afraid of those things!

**Clyde:** Yeah, we fought both a Gas Monster and a Trash Monster!

*[The heroes take off their disguises, revealing the Full House Gang costumes.]*

**John Pepper:** *[points forward]* Get them!

**Ace Savvy:** Alright, Full House Gang, time to change the menu!

*[The gang charges at monsters and they start fighting. Ace Savvy punches and kicks several monsters, and then he throws some cards at some monsters. One-Eyed Jack shoots some monsters and then he throws a card at another monster, exploding him. High Card dispatches some monsters with her staff and then she throws a disc at a chili monster, freezing it; High Card twirls her staff and bashes the monster to pieces; Eleven of Hearts grabs a monster with her sash and throws it across the room and onto a table; She throws a heart bomb at another monster, blowing it up; Night Club activates her amps, plug in her guitar, and blasts a large sound wave at the monsters; Joker runs at some monster and brandishes her pie launcher,]*

**Joker:** I hope you guys saved room for dessert!

*[Joker leaps in the air and fires several pies at several chili monsters; she sweep-kicks a monster off his feet and shoots another pie at another monster. Cut to Strong Suit being surrounded by some chili monsters]*

**Strong Suit:** You guys hungry? *[cracks her knuckles]* How about a fillet of fist?!

*[Strong Suit hits several monsters with some strong punches. She then headbutts a monster and picks up and throws it against a window. Eight of Spades throws a smoke bomb in one monster’s mouth, and the smoke starts spewing through its body. She then smacks the monsters over to other monsters, knocking them to the floor. Royal Flush hits several monsters with her wrench, and then throws some regular wrenches at some monsters. Cut to Queen of Diamonds charging at some chili monsters.]*

**Queen of Diamonds:** Diamond Sword and Shield!

*[Queen of Diamond summons a sword and shield, and she slashes several chili monsters. One of the monsters tries biting on her shield, but she smacks the monster in the face. The queen then does a vertical slash, then a horizontal slash, and then she rushes some monsters skewer.]*

**Queen of Diamonds:** Looks like I made a chili kebab!

*[She flings the monsters to the floor and then pan over to the Card Counter and Deuce, who are fighting some chili monsters. Card Counter fires her laser pistols at some monsters and Deuce throws some diapers at the monsters. More monsters lunge at Ace flies off-screen, with the chili monsters jumping after him. He does a flying kick that slices through all of the monsters before landing back on the floor. The gang looks around to see the remains of the chili monsters. ]*

**Ace Savvy:** It’s over, Pepper!

**John Pepper:** Over? Those are just appetizers! *[the chili remains start coming together]* Here comes the main course!

*[The chili pile grows to a large size. The thing grows a pair of arms and legs, then some eyes. It becomes a giant chili monster. The creature lets out a huge roar that nearly blows back the heroes. The heroes take defensive stances and they prepare to attack. Eleven of Hearts throws a cluster of heart bombs, but they have no effect; The monsters throw some punches, but the heroes evade and the Night Club flies up to the creature’s face, and unleashes a loud note on the monster, piercing its ears as it roars in agony. ]*

**Queen of Diamonds:** Diamond Shine Attack *[releases her diamonds' radiance on the monster's eyes, blinding it.]*

*[High Card throws an Ammunition Disc at the monster’s leg, freezing it solid.]*

**High Card:** Strong Suit, now!

**Strong Suit:** Here I come~!

*[Strong Suit sprints at the creature’s frozen leg and rams through it, knocking the monster to the floor. High Card throws two more discs at the monster’s arms, freezing them both solid. Card Counter destroys his left arm with her laser pistol, and Eleven of Hearts blows up the right arm with her heart bomb.]*

**Joker:** Looks like we dis-*armed* him *[laughs]*

**Ace Savvy:**  Alright, let’s finish this beast!

*[The Full House Gang bounds at the monsters with weapons brandished]*

**Full House Gang:** YAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

*[Before they land, the monster regrows his arms and legs. He gets up and catches Ace, Jack, High Card, Eleven of Hearts, Night Club, Joker, and Strong Suit in his left hand, and Eight of Spades, Royal Flush, Queen of Diamonds, Card Counter, and Deuce in his right hand.]*

**Ace Savvy:** He regenerated!

*[The monster throws the heroes against the wall. They drop to the floor. ]*

**John Pepper:** Alright, finish them!

*[The monster starts running towards the Full House Gang. The heroes get up dazed and groan in pain. They shake their heads and see the monster coming in their direction.]*

**High Card:** How are we supposed to defeat this thing?

**Ace Savvy:** I don’t know, we tried to dismember it, but it didn't work.

**Card Counter:** I think the most viable option is to vaporize the creature’s entire body.

**Strong Suit:** But how? Neither Leni nor Lily’s bombs are strong enough!

**Night Club:** We’re gonna need more firepower.

**Royal Flush:** *[looks around the room]* Hmm. Firepower, Firepower.

*[Royal Flush then glances at a lit candle at a nearby table and gets an idea.]*

**Royal Flush:** Guys, get that candle, I’ve got a plan!

*[Cut to a shot of monsters running feet as it gets closer. Royal Flush enters a dog position and moves her cape, exposing her butt. Ace puts the candle near her butt, but not too close to risk burning her pants off.]*

**Ace Savvy:** Are you sure about this, Lana?

**Royal Flush:** Linc, I’ve never been more sure in my life!

*[Cut to a shot of the Monster roaring as he charges towards the heroes]*

**Royal Flush:** Okay...FIRE IN THE HOLE!

*[Royal Flush lets out a large fart into the small flame, erupting in a large flame blast. The beast gets engulfed in the blast, letting out a large cry as the creature’s body burns to a crisp. Once the blast ends, the creature’s burned body falls apart. Just then John Pepper makes a hasty retreat.]*

**Ace Savvy:** He’s getting away!

**High Card:** Don’t worry, I got this!

*[High Card takes out her bolas and throws them at John Pepper; they tie around his ankles and fall face first.]*

**Ace Savvy:** For a guy with the last name Pepper, you’re not so hot!

*[John Pepper groans in annoyance. We transition outside, where the police have arrived, and they put Pepper inside the squad car.]*

**John Pepper:** Just you wait, Full House Gang! Once I get out of prison, I will have revenge and my restaurant will be the best in all of Michigan! *[the car closes on his him and the car drives off]*

*[Kirby arrives with the limo and the gang goes in, and they drive off.]*

**Kiby:** So guys, how was the ball?

**Lincoln:** Crazy, Kirby.

**Lola:** And messy.

**Lynn:** But we made it out alive, thanks to Lana’s gas.

**Lana:** Aw shucks, I guess my farts were helpful after all. *[lets out a small fart]*

**Lola:***[becomes bitter]* Enjoy it while it lasts, because by tomorrow that potion will wear off.

**Lincoln:** I don’t know about you guys, but I’m hungry. We didn’t really eat that much at the party.

**Lori:** Yeah, we didn’t, why don't we go somewhere and get something to eat?

**Luna:** But can it not be chili?

**Luan:** Yeah, after we’ve been through, I’m all chili-ed out and that’s not a pun.

**Lisa:** Of course, that’s just a simple statement of fact.

**Lincoln:** Hmmm. How about Chinese food?

**Lori:** Good idea, Lincoln. Kirby, take us to Mr. Wong’s Chinese Restaurant.

**Kirby:** Of course, ma’am. I mean Lori.

*[The gang arrives at Mr. Wong’s Chinease Restaurant]*

**Lincoln:** And while we’re at it, why don’t we bring something back for Mom and Dad?

**Lori:** Good another idea, Lincoln.

**The End**

## **Trivia**

* Chili My Bowl comes from the TV show iCarly.
* Mr. Wong’s Chinease Restaurant is based on Wong's Chinese Buffet from T.U.F.F. Puppy.
* The Chili Monster and the giant chili monster are based on the small meat monsters and the Lunch lady’s second form in Danny Phantom.
* Electromancer is based on Electro from Spider-Man.