Alex Jones (lesson)

## Alex Jones

"*Now let's see if Alex Jones can give us some advice on how to stay calm and rational.*"
―Erik
Alex Jones is the 57th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on October 21, 2016.

## Summary

Erik starts by advertising his dick pills, just like Alex Jones does. Then he holds up a bunch of papers and claims that its proof that the globalists and Shadow Masters are attacking internet comments, for real this time. He tries to show how Alex Jones can save us, but Erik keeps accidentally finding videos where Jones says things that aren't true about the Sandy Hook shooting. Then Erik finds one where Jones reveals that the NWO will control the internet. Erik explains that the globalists, Shadow Masters, Obama, and the Cloud People are all working together.

Erik runs an ad for his divorce attorney on the Salviaerik store, and then watches another video with a different host that's scaring people with nonsense. Erik complains to Jones about the Illuminati interference that is causing this man to spread lies on Jones' channel.

Then Erik tries to find a video of Alex Jones explaining how to remain calm and rational while uncovering the globalists. But all he can find are videos of Jones screaming, including one where he accuses the government of turning frogs gay. So instead Erik tries to learn about how to conduct an intelligent conversation, and he finds an interview where Jones talks to Roger Stone. At first Erik is upset that Stone is banned from major news networks, but then he sees that Stone was banned for being publicly racist and also helping to get Nixon elected. Erik scolds Jones for letting such a terrible person on his show.

Erik finds another video where Jones lies about the Sandy Hook shooting. Jones proves that it was a hoax because the words "Sandy Hook" appear in a Batman movie directed by Christopher Nolan. Erik criticizes the commenters under the video that were paid to make Jones' followers look dumb and racist. Then Erik finds a video where Jones interviews Donald Trump while Trump's voice cracks.

## Comments

*(\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D PENIS PENIS PENIS HERE'S A (\_)\_)::::::::D AND THAT'S A PENIS THIS IS MY COMMENT (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D HERE'S A DICK (\_)\_)::::::::D AND (\_)\_)::::::::D**AND HERE'S A (\_)\_)::::::::D*
- Erik

*Hey Alex, you got some dickhead posting videos on your channel and he's full of shit. I subscribed to see your crazy ass screaming about the make believe Tom Clancy novel you call life not this Da Vinci Code dipshit trying to scare my ass with nonsense words but good thing I don't trust evil grandpas so this guy has got no power over me. Hey one love I tried out some of your boner pills and drilled my anime sex pillow all night shit works great totally ruined that pillow thanks man can't wait till she gets out of the washing machine.*
- Erik

*I'm pretty sure that Roger Stone guy kicked my mom in the cooter. Maybe it was some other Regis Philbin looking old white motherfucker but she remembers that shit and she's still pissed about it.**Alex next time you have this dude on ask him if he kicked a woman between the legs last month in a costco parking lot. I know it wasn't Trump because he would have just grabbed her by the pussy.**And also ask Roger if he skips porn when the dude's black so I know what to email him at stonezone.com/contact.php yeah his website is called "Stone Zone." Dude's been around for what, 90 years and that's all he's got? That shits so corny i bet monsanto tried to spray it with growth hormones.**In conclusion, Alex you keep talking about how much you hate the illuminati, but I'm pretty sure the dude who helped get Nixon elected is on their side. Big Money over and out don't pay your taxes*
- Erik

*There was NO SHOOTING!*
- Lynn Purcell

*Hey have you heard about the cloud people? (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D PENIS PENIS PENIS HERE'S A (\_)\_)::::::::D AND THAT'S A PENIS THIS IS MY COMMENT (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::D(\_)\_)::::::::D(\_)\_)::::::::D(\_)\_)::::::::D(\_)\_)::::::::D(\_)\_)::::::::D(\_)\_)::::::::D(\_)\_)::::::::D(\_)\_)::::::::D HERE'S A DICK (\_)\_)::::::::D AND (\_)\_)::::::::D AND HERE'S A (\_)\_)::::::::D*
- Erik

*This is why it would be better if black people were still our salves fucking n\*\*\*\*\**
- Lachlan

*I'll bet this guy chases off more pussy than a vacuum cleaner*
- Erik

*HEY ALEX I THINK I FOUND ANOTHER BATMAN GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY EASTER EGG. YOU KNOW HOW IN BATMAN RETURNS THE PENGUIN RUNS FOR OFFICE AND THEN GRABS THAT CHICK BY HER PUSSY? I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WAS A WEIRD SCENE WHERE BECAUSE HE'S RICH AND FAMOUS HE CAN JUST RUN AROUND GRABBING WOMEN BY THE PUSSY, BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT'S ACTUALLY HOW IT WORKS. TIM BURTON WAS TRYING TO BLOW THE LID OFF RICH PEOPLE GRABBING WOMEN BY THEIR PUSSIES ALL DAY LONG AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT. I DUNNO IF HE WAS DIALED INTO THE SAME CHANNELS AS CHRISTOPHER NOLAN, WHERE THE ILLUMINATI CAME UP TO HIM AND WAS LIKE “YO CHRISTOPHER NOLAN WE'RE GONNA FAKE A SCHOOL SHOOTING IN SANDY HOOK SO WE CAN PUSH GUN CONTROL."**AND CHRISTOPHER NOLAN WAS LIKE "OH CHEERS MATE. WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP?" AND THE ILLUMINATI SAID "WELL WE WERE WONDERING IF YOU COULD TEASE THE NAME OF THE TOWN WHERE WE'RE GONNA DO IT IN, AND MAYBE TEASE THAT TOWN IN YOUR NEW BATMAN MOVIE LIKE A LITTLE EASTER EGG WHERE YOU SHOW THE NAME OF THE TOWN? BECAUSE WE LIKE TO SHOW THE NAMES OF TOWNS WHERE WE'RE GONNA DO FALSE FLAGS U JUST LIKE A LITTLE CLUE LIKE A LITTLE EASTER EGG LIKE Y'KNOW THAT'S JUST WHAT WE DO RIGHT?"**AND NOLAN SAID "HOW BOUT I SHOW A MAP IN THE MOVIE RIGHT, AND IT SAYS THE NAME OF THE TOWN ON IT WHERE IT'S GONNA HAPPEN"**"YEAH THAT'S PERFECT. WE JUST WANNA MAKE SURE WE PLANT CLUES ALL OVER THE PLACE ALLUDING TO US FAKING A SCHOOL SHOOTING."**"YEAH MATE I'LL HAVE AN ACTOR POINT AT IT ON THE MAP TOO LIKE HERE'S WHERE IT'S GONNA HAPPEN RIGHT."**“THAT SOUNDS AWESOME, THAT'S EXACTLY HOW WE WANT TO PLAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS" AND THAT'S HOW THEY DID IT*
- Erik

*Let Is Shot Obama An Hilarly In The Head An Election.*
- Mallu King

*I'd rather see my wife give birth to a dead tree than have something that grows up to be you come out of her*
- Erik

*Yo alex I need your advice man. My friends stopped inviting me to parties because I keep bringing up your videos about how sandy hook was staged and the illuminati is putting mind control drugs in our tap water. I've tried hanging out with people who agree with me but they all live with their parents and are 14. I mean you must have friends your age right? You're the one coming up with all this stuff after all so how do you keep them from getting sick of you?**I don't want to stop telling people about how every major tragedy in america was a false flag perpetrated by the government in order to fulfill the globalist agenda, but I'm just so lonely. I miss explaining to my friend Rudy why Obama is the greatest threat to national security we've ever had while he stares at his phone sighing. I also miss going out on dates but I can't risk having a girlfriend with an RFID chip in her arm and when I try to check they always freak out and leave. Do you have a girlfriend? How does she stand you?**Maybe I should just give up and try not to swing every conversation into conspiracy theories, but that's exactly what the new world order wants. So I guess I'll just stand on the corner outside the local gas station screaming about chemtrails and illuminati cancer satellites until someone walks by who agrees, and that'll be my only friend :(*
- Erik

*OMG HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE CLOUD PEOPLE**PENIS PENIS PENIS (\_)\_)::::::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::::::D (\_)\_)::::::::::::D DING DONG DIPPITY DOOP AND BAM GOT YA WITH A (\_)\_)::::::::::::D*
- Erik

## Goofs

* When Erik posts his comment about Christopher Nolan, it briefly shows a clip of him posting his next comment.

## Context

1. ↑ On December 14, 2012, a gunman entered Sandy Hook elementary school and killed 20 children and six staff members. Alex Jones insisted that the parents of these children were paid actors and encouraged his fans to harass them. A defamation lawsuit was filed against Jones and he was fined $126,000.
2. ↑ Richard Nixon was President of the United States in the early 1970s. Following the Watergate Scandal, Nixon became the first and only president to resign in disgrace.
3. ↑ Tom Clancy wrote spy thrillers about secret organizations trying to start wars. The Da Vinci Code is a mystery novel about finding secret messages that tell the "true" story of Jesus Christ.
4. ↑ Monsanto was an agricultural biotech company that was known for its proprietary modified seeds, particularly crops such as corn.
5. ↑ RFID stands for radio-frequency identification. It's essentially a tracking device

## Video

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