Mudpit Mayhem

Season 1, Episode 2

"**Mudpit Mayhem**" is the second episode of the first season of RDS's *King's Crossing*. It is the second episode of the series overall. It premiered on April 10, 2023. It was written and directed by Rath.

## Plot

Grunkle and Torvekek prepare for their quest to head East and investigate the cause of more feral animals coming toward town. They meet some more locals and even take on a side quest to gather the ingredients for a new brew called the Numb Abyss. Their journey then is cut short when they walk head first into the Mud Pits of the Freelands.

## Synopsis

The scene opens at the Arwin's Rest watering hole where a now naked Grunkle finds himself fresh and clean post bathing. Torvekek sits on the shore waiting for his comrade. Grunkle ends his bath with a cover girl type hair flip in the water. Torvekek takes offense at the thrashing and tells Grunkle to behave himself. Grunkle explains that their customs in bathouses are important, critical, and traditional, ending with a slap on the water. Torvekek explains he understands but doesn't like being splashed, going as far as to say he could be standing back at the inn and he'd still be in the splash zone. Grunkle takes this as a compliment. Torvekek mentions he would rather wait to bathe until the next town.

Their conversation is cut short by the giggle of a child. Grunkle is unsure what that noise is and tells Torvekek to stop laughing at him. Torvekek turns to the actual sound and finds a follen log down the shoreline. On that log sits two people. The source of the giggle is from a young boy, the same young boy that had run past Torvekek in the doorway when he first entered the tavern, Hobb's Lodge. A young boy that has some connection to the barkeep, Griff.

The other man on the log, an older gent with who is built but age and a somewhat luxury life has added some pounds. The man sports a bold moustache. But their attention is drawn to the child. The boy calls out, saying the duo are funny. Torvekek replies, insulting the child by saying he has a small dick. The child, confused, informs Torvekek that he is a child. Meanwhile, Grunkle, unaware of the duo on the log, is offended that Torvekek is body shaming him.

The boy continues on, asking the dwarf for his name. He mentions that he saw him at the tavern. Torvekek asks if he talks to everyone while he is pooping, to which the boy says he is trying to make friends. Torvekek looks to the man, assuming he is the boys father. The man catches his eye and grumpily asks why he is staring at him. Torvekek says the man should get his son under control. The man brushes him off, stating the boy is Griff's son. Torvekek insults them once more for using the log before excusing himself to head back into town.

Grunkle goes to follow, climbing out of the river where he dawns his clothing. The boy finishes his duty and spots Grunkle, exclaiming that he is huge! Grunkle says he is trying to put on his clothes, which the boy agrees is a good idea. Grunkle takes some offense as he explains that the body is made in the image of the gods. The boy is speechless. Torvekek calls out asking if Grunkle is following along and Grunkle calls back that he is coming along.

Leaving the bathing spot of the river, Torvekek and Grunkle carry on back down the path. Before they could get back to their conversation, the boy asks if Torvekek knows that Grunkle is made in the image of the gods. Startled, Grunkle and Torvekek answer the boy's questions, who introduced himself as Matteo. Explaining the Dwarf beard is a glorious thing and then addressing the idea that Grunkle is possibly one of the gods.

Torvekek tells Grunkle that he has a small brain, to which Grunkle says it's at least bigger than Matteos. Matteo asks if Torvekek is also a god, but Torvekek informs him that he is a dwarf. Matteo says that makes sense. Like Inebria, a dwarven god who likes to party. They celebrate her frequently. Torvekek then invites Matteo back to the tavern, which he accepts.

Torvekek asks Matteo not try to kill him. Matteo mentions he can't kill much of anything but he can catch frogs. He learned how to catch frogs really well, except not by the white ashen trees. Torvekek asks that Matteo not tell him anything else. Grunkle mentions baby ribs and Torvekek gets very worried. But with that, the trio make their way back in to town, stepping over and working their way through the amassed debris of trigs and mud and leaves.

Grunkle decides he wants to go find Kylar to get paid for their earlier work, grabbing a rock and biting it to tide himself over. Matteo attempts to imitate the ogre but cant get his mouth around it. Torvekek tells Matteo to knock it off but Matteo states that he wants to be in the image of the gods as well. Torvekek attempts to reason with the child. Failing, he moves on to tell Matteo to eat meat, not rocks. Stating that meat gives you a great beard while rocks give you strong muscles.

Torvekek gets bumped into by the man they saw back at the log. They have a short interaction, saying hello to each other before parting ways. The silence is broken by Grunkle asking Matteo how long he has been a gnome for, why he catches frogs, and admits he is very disappointed. Matteo is lead to believe that being a gnome means you are good at catching frogs and an argument breaks out as to what sort of gnome he is.

The conversation breaks at the entrance to Hobb's Lodge. Inside, they see the hunt captain, Kylar, sat at a table with someone, looking over a parchment paper. Matteo leaves them at this point, moving to the kitchen. Grunkle and Torvekek stand in the doorway, debating who is the leader of their party. Eventually Grunkle takes the lead and moves to the table where Kylar sits.

Kylar looks up for a moment, nursing a headache, and tosses a sack of coins across the table. The two gentlemen sat there seem frustrated over some dillema. Torvekek asks why. Kylar welcomes them back, mentioning they're payment is in the bag, and asks if they'd like to help with another issue. He mentions the two of them made the trek to Arwin's Rest on their own, they'd be quite the force out there together.

After ordering a round of drinks, Kylar informs the duo that the local wildlife have been getting killed off and replaced by more aggressive fauna. He wants to know why. This poses an issue for food and safety to the town. Not only does he need to stop the aggressive creatures from encroaching on the town but he wants to know what has changed to make this happen in the first place.

The other man at the table is introduced as Johnathon. Kylar and Johnathon say they will head South if Grunkle and Torvekek will head East. They can spread out to see what they can find and learn. At this point, lilliana returns with their drinks. Kylar goes on to say that they should travel as far as the "frost trees" and to look out for flags tied to the trees which marks traps in the area for small game.

Before setting out, Kylar says they should talk to Lilliana and Griff if they want provisions. They should have some basic wilderness gear as well, he even has some extra to lend if needed. And if they are religious, they can find Addisilon for a blessing. He then asks if they have any questions or need anything. Torvekek says he will be finding Addisilon and Grunkle mentions that he will be handling provisions. With that, Kylar wishes them well in their travels and says he will buy the next round when they all return. Johnathon and the hunt captain collect themselves and their gear, shaking hands with Grunkle and Torvekek, and then heading out.

Grunkle tells Torvekek that he will be acquiring the rations, and that Torvekek should find Addisilon like he wanted. Grunkle informs him that he has experience in counting rations and handling provisions from his time in the military. Torvekek asks only that Grunkle not bring back baby's ribs. Grunkle admits he will if they sell them, but otherwise he will not. Torvekek threatens an axe to the head if Grunkle does. This is taken in good humor as Grunkle admits he will be getting food from Hobb's Lodge where baby's ribs are not on the menu.

Torvekek heads out of Hobb's Lodge, not knowing where to find Addisilon. He looks around the town square and sees the gate to the south that he had entered through the night prior, but otherwise no signs directing him. He knows to the North is the river where he had seen Grunkle bathe, to the West is the ocean. He thinks to himself, churches could be built near the ocean, so he heads West.

Torvekek comes across a small altar at the base of a tree where Addisilon sways in a drunken state. She welcomes the dwarf into the resting place and he takes a seat on the grass with her. The priestess reveals a tankard from under her cloak, filling it from an animal skin at her belt, and offers it to her bearded companion. He thanks her and they cheers together. She asks what brings him to her spot and he admits that he was seeking her. She once more welcomes him to the Altar of Inebria. He admits he wanted to discuss religion but with drinks involved, he is unsure that is acceptable. She asks why discussion of religion and drinks can not be intertwined. Torvekek states that one might forget the conversation if they're drunk. Addisilon responds that if the gods, or ancestors, wish them to remember then they will allow it, and why not enjoy themselves. They cheers again.

They settle into their discussion, with Torvekek admitting he does not know much outside of the old Dwarven religion. Although the god Addisilon follows seems ok. Addisilon mentions that her goddess, Inebria, is a god but was born a dwarf. Many saw this as a malformation or abnormality but Inebria took it as a challenge. She is able to endure far more than any other being and she did so with a drink in one hand and a pan in the other. It is unknown if Inebria was the start of the dwarves or the dwarves were already an established race.

Now the conversation turned to Torvekek where Addisilon asks who he prays to. Torvekek answers her that dwarves honor and follow their own families ancestors. Not just the heroic ones of recognition but every dwarf who came before. Addisilon admits, this seems like a fearsome force if anyone could wield them. Torvekek agrees, they would walk through any terrain and unleash devastation.

The conversastion moves away from religion and to history as Addisilon asks what brings the dwarf to Arwin's Rest. He tells her that he was a guardian of the Deep. When wars became less frequent, the Deeps became smaller and smaller and eventually Torvekek moved on. His new quest was to try every ale from every land. The priestess asks how theirs compares and Torvekek says its far from any dwarven ale but it's good for a worlds ale. The ale he sips now is a sweeter coated ale than the house malt he had had earlier.

With that, the meeting begins to close and Addisilon asks if there are any parting words she can offer. Torvekek admits he would like if Inebria were watching over him as well in his travels. She asks if he is leaving them but he reassures her that he is only going out on a job with the ogre. She inquires if the ogre is still sickly. Torvekek once again reassures her, the ogre has bathed. She invites both Torvekek and Grunkle to Hobb's Lodge to share more drinks and conversation tonight. As torvekek finishes his drink, Addisilon offers up a quick prayer, stating "May the goddess of the drink pour you both overflowing mugs of good fortune in your journey." Torvekek responds, "and may my ancestors and yours watch over you as you go about your life."

We move back to Grunkle who remains in Hobb's Lodge. It is established that Grunkle has a well worn regal red cape from his time in the legion. His cape now ragged and torn and bloodied from his travels. He pulls out this cape and adorns it before approaching Lilliana, the barmaid. He asks her to fetch Griff. She agrees and heads back to grab the bar owner. She returns shortly to carry out her duties.

The large man known as Griff enters the room and greets his new friend, asking is he's hungry. Grunkle admits he is but it can wait. He explains to Griff the nature of his mission and he will need to acquire some food and drink. Griff agrees to help if it's for the betterment of the town and sets Lilliana to gathering together some drinks for the adventurers. He then sets back into the kitchen to put together some food rations including potatoes, rabbit, and scallop broth.

Lilliana sets six animal skins down on the counter and asks if this will be enough for him. Grunkle checks the barrel keg that he carries on his back, which holds around about seven servings of Burning Light, a cheap ale found at a tavern he'd passed on his way to Arwin's Rest. His total accrued servings now add up to around twenty at this point.

As Grunkle stores these animal skins, he notices a pottery plate at the end of the bar, set with some harvest from the swamp on it. Lilliana offers him another drink while he waits. Grunkle accepts and asks if the plate is someone's leftovers. Lilliana admits that she set that out and asks if Grunkle can keep a secret. He thinks on it and says he will. She tells him that the plate is set out for the "others". Grunkle looks around, seeing there is no one else here, then asks her if he is "others". She smiles and laughs and says he is not. She asks if he remembers the ones he described prior, the ones with wild hair and flamboyant features who told him of treasures. If he had seen them, then he knows of the others. Grunkle states that he will be a heroic treasure hunter and will be worthy of counter vegetables one day. Lilliana compliments him and calls him one of her favorite adventurers.

At this point, Grunkle admits he wants to purchase more food and drink to eat that night as the rations provided were for tomorrow. Lilliana walks him through the menu showcasing Fried Potato Wedges, Scallop Broth, and Roast Rabbit. Grunkle, only having two silver shillings, asks for whatever he can afford. The barmaid looks to the shillings in his hand and mentions he can afford anything on the menu, a room included. Grunkle asks for a bit of everything for both him and Torvekek from all of his two shillings. Lilliana walks away with an order of 3 servings of each item on the menu and two beds for the night in the common room. Happy with himself, Grunkle takes a seat at the bar and waits for Torvekek.

Meanwhile, Torvekek stands from his seat beside Addisilon and returns to Hobb's Lodge. Entering the wagon made bar, Griff greets him at the door as he hauls a monster load of provisions on the counter and strains to tie it up and pass it off to Grunkle. After watching Griff fill the bag of each item and tie it up, Tovekek asks them what is in the bag. Griff mentions that Grunkle bought a few feasts. Grunkle argues that it is worth it.

Grunkle asks Griff to point them to the nearest general store. Griff informs them that there used to be a general store but some time ago, the last hero who came to town put an end to that. Referencing the hero as possibly being named Axewood. The nearest spot for them to find a market now would be down the coast at a town called Boxwood.

Torveke attempts to go back to discussing the cost of these provisions but is interrupted seeing the child they'd met earlier, Matteo, attempting to eat the rock that was previously Grunkle's. Grunkle takes back his rock, stealing it from the boys mouth, freeing the boy's jaw. Matteo apologizes and is told by Grunkle to start eating gravel.

Grunkle then turns to Torvekek and lets him know that Grunkle is taking this very seriously and his cape is a sign of status and power. He then asks his dwarf friend if he had retrieved a blessing from Addisilon and Torvekek tells him that only he had been blessed. Grunkle assumes that he must be immune to blessings. Moving on, Grunkle exclaims that he is worried about the lack of blacksmith or market in town. He asks Torvekek if he knows how to get Grunkle some more gear. To which Torvekek admits that he does not know how to help.

Grunkle turns to find Matteo, to see if he knows anywhere that Grunkle can find some gear. Matteo walks back into Hobb's Lodge, spilling gravel from his cupped hands. Grunkle again asks where they can go to get items and information in exchange for money. Grunkle begins to break down, ranting about a lack of bathhouses, markets, and the like. Matteo seems to get scared and hides behind Griff. Grunkle turns to Torvekek and suggests they settle in for the day and head out tomorrow.

It's at this point that the party realizes that it is only noon and they were supposed to have already left for their quest to the East. Torvekek goes and says his farewells to Addisilon while Grunkle accompanies him. Grunkle stays back to let Torvekek have his conversation. Torvkeke lets her know that they will not be at the tavern tonight and she wishes him safe travels. But before they can part, Addisilon calls out to Grunkle, inquiring about the keg he wields and asking if he would also like a blessing. Grunkle marches over and introduces himself to Addisilon.

A former berserker of the Legion, he is now in town to help his friend Torvekek. Addisilon says she has heard of the berserkers and asks if he is here on business. Grunkle reassures her that he means no harm and only wants to adventures. At this, Addisilon asks about his keg. Grunkle says its his liquid holding backpack. His friend gifted it to him with the parting words, "You'll die out there, might as well die drunk" The priestess says she could put that barrel to use, she has a secret recipe she'd like to use called the Numb Abyss. She states that it is new and would like his help with it, in return he could be one of the first to try it.

Grunkle, unsure, looks to Torvekek for re-assurement. Torvekek tells him that she has been friendly so far. So Grunkle asks what is needed from him. She asks that while their out on their adventure, they could grab some ingredients she needs. Grunkle is sold that this is a good idea and asks Torvekek if he is in. Torvekek, with a shrug, agrees.

While they are out, Addisilon will prepare everything else. What she needs is a flower that only blooms in silence, where blood has been spilled. Also a mushroom that is poisonous and hallucinegenic that grows upside down that is freckled on the inside. Lastly, a berry that grows in bear dung, a weed that is sour green color. Grunkle notes this down and agrees to search for these while he is out and Addisilon promises to fill his keg with the new brew.

With that, Grunkle drools over the idea of a new adventure and urges Torvekek into excitement for the trip ahead. Before they can leave, Addisilon offers a blessing to Grunkle as well. After some hesitation, Grunkle takes a 12% swig of her animalskin and receives the blessing. Grunkle thinks over his doomsign "Do not push for more, as you will get it."

As the duo heads East out of town, they pass the watchman at the edge of town. Grunkle offers to carry his new dwarven friend but is refused profusely, learning that no self respecting dwarf gets carried. With that, they move into the swamp. Not far outside of town, they ogre and dwarf both find themselves stuck in a mud pit.

Torvekek falls into the mud pit, immedietly sinking into the muck. Grunkle slips in as well, but his size and stature fights to keep himself upright. Getting his bearings, Grunkle releases his grip on his own gear in an attempt to dive under to find Torvekek. Meanwhile, Torvekek finds himself gasping for air but finding only more mud. Choking on all attempts, Torvekek begins to black out deep in the mud pit. Grunkle continues frantically fighting the pit for control of his friend. Against all odds, Grunkle grasps a fist full of tunic and tosses Torvekek onto the surface of the pit.

Unconscious and caked in mud, Grunkle attempts to remove the muck from his friends face and mouth. This has no effect and Torvekek is still not breathing. Grunkle pounds on the dwarf's chest but still no change. Grunkle then turns to his keg, pouring in splashes onto Torvekek's face attempting to wash away the mud, invoking the blessing of Inebria. And at that, Torvekek wakes and pukes out the mud in his system with a feeling of peace and rest.

Grunkle embraces his friend in a hug as they escape the pit and then explains that they fell into a mud pit, questioning why they took this path. Grunkle tells Torvekek that he is hard to find. Speaking of which, his spear was released in the mud pit and lost, but he also notices his cape had come loose and was lost in the pit as well.

## Cast

* PCs
* NPCs

Grunkle

Torvekek

Addisilon

Griff

Kylar

Lilliana

Mr Karvar

Johnathon

Matteo
## Deaths

* None

## Quotes

* "What the fuck did you tell the child?" - Torvekek

## Trivia

* This session holds the record to this point for the worst roll in the series with both Grunkle and Torvekek rolling critical fail 99's back to back.

## External Links

* Episode Two: Mudpit Mayhem
* Episode Two - Under The Table