291: Two or Three Minutes Per Minute

## Summary

The party rest up at the hotel to make sure they're fully recharged, not knowing what kind of encounter they'll face under the lake. They occupy themselves through the night and in the morning get themselves all set for the task at hand. Finally, the group set off and it's not long before they reach the dam's spillway.

## Synopsis

Will gives dam keys to Raphina and Rosco, Raphina slipping hers into a sock and Rosco safely stowing his next to Tanya's coin. Batthwack says he's ok if Will keeps the others; he's happier now that they're not all in Will's possession. Will clearly doesn't want to be told what to do, so pointedly leaves one key on the bar for Batthwack to take, which he does.

The group settle down to rest and build up their strength, magical or otherwise, ahead of their trip to the dam. Rosco is exhausted and keen to sleep, but that's never been easy for him. He retires to Gwen's old room, sleepily muttering something about *"Rudy"*. Raphina quietly makes snoring sounds to herself; it helps her feel rested even though she cannot actually sleep. In his own room, Will quietly investigates his misty ankle, pulling up his trouser leg to find that his ankle is completely invisible.

At some point over the course of the rest of the day, the party do regroup to discuss any other loose ends that need tying up before venturing to the lake. They're reminded of their promise to help out Beartoggle University, but Will suggests not approaching them until they've had a chance to use the key that he and Batthwack stole from Dean Kellerman. Rosco also reminds them about helping the lady who's son went missing in the Grand Staircase collapse. He's pretty sure he could find the hotel artist and ask them to knock up some missing posters. *"The artist at this hotel is like the best one in Beartoggle,"* he says.

*"There is a clockwork man that set fire to part of the city, if we're talking about these things,"* says Will. Rosco's intrigued by this, and Batthwack opens up his pack to show him Captain Clockface, who's lifeless body is still stowed away in there. He's shocked by what he sees: the remains of a week old, floppy fish taco.

Rosco heads down to locate the hotel artist and commissions a stack of 50 drawings of Otis for 5gp. He's really very impressed with the results. *"I've never seen him before, but this looks like probably him,"* he says. *"When you're done I'm gonna take 'em and I'm gonna hang 'em up throughout the city."* *"I'm very busy, but I will take your business,"* lies the artist. While Rosco's away, the others amuse themselves. Raphina does some needlepoint while Batthwack sharpens his sword, cleans his armour and continues working on his deck of homemade playing cards. Interestingly, he's decided he'll no longer depict anyone holding weapons.

When sunrise finally comes around, and the party feels fully rested and recharged, they turn their attention to preparations for the task at hand. They agree that Sheemie should wait at the hotel; Will's concerned about him being caught with the stolen boots. To test Batthwack's current mental state, Rosco takes him to one side and suggests that perhaps they solve this problem by killing Sheemie. He embarks on an ambitious analogy of a ringmaster dealing with a faulty circus, likening the different members of this party to the different players in the circus. *"You got the acrobats, you got a couple of clowns, you got the lion tamers, and then there's the juggler, but then also there's an accountant,"* says Rosco. *"Yeah, I love those acts,"* responds Batthwack, thus rendering the analogy useless, and proving he's clearly never been to a circus. Rosco says *"I never ran a circus myself, but sometimes you gotta make bidness decisions."* Batthwack says he's uncomfortable with that; it sounds a little too much like something Will would get into. Rosco tells him he passed the test.

While Rosco and Batthwack are talking, Will gives Sheemie another pep talk and re-establishes the pecking order. *"I'm getting frustrated with you because you're disobeying. You're not listening. You don't understand where I come from. We don't really tolerate that kind of behaviour."* He explains to Sheemie how reckless it was to steal these expensive boots, with no thought to what magical protection they might have. Maybe he'll even find himself trapped in the city. Sheemie apologies but Will's not wholly convinced and Sheemie even wonders if having the boots has affected him. *"Makes you a little sassy pants,"* says Will. Raphina leans in to suggest they keep an eye on Sheemie; the boots might have given him an attitude problem.

The party prepare themselves for going underwater. The reality of breathing underwater finally hits Will and his germophobia kicks in. *"What happens when you get out of the water? Does the stuff get out of your lungs? Or will I have algae and debris at the bottom of my lungs for the rest of my life?!"* Raphina already wears a bikini under her clothes, so she's all set. Possibly born of a misunderstanding, or just pure confusion, Rosco offers to slather everyone in mustard, either as sunscreen, or perhaps in the same way long distance swimmers smear themselves with Vaseline. Batthwack unpacks some of his less water-resistant items: playing cards, tinderbox, torches. Will strips off his jacket and tie, but that's as nude as he's prepared to go.

As they're setting off, they recap what they know from speaking to Thalia. There's a force that's keeping the Anglerfish down at the bottom of the lake and using its power to make a dragon. Or something. The way to access the lake is via the base of the dam. The hotel is on the river side, so they figure that they can follow the riverbank towards the dam and when close enough, hopefully get a clearer picture of where to go from there. En route, Will asks Raphina what she knows about giant worms, having seen that the Sooty Gang's hideout seemed to occupy a hole dug by a giant worm. His only reference point thus far was a giant worm who helped them break out of prison. *"Why are they everywhere? And why are they here?"* he asks nervously. *"The world is full of many wonderful, curious things that we've never seen before,"* she answers cryptically, adding that this was obviously a far less wholesome setting for a worm than their prison experience. She's sure "Uncle Methoognunyargor" is good, but was the worm that dug the gang's pit evil itself, or was it coerced by some evil force to do their bidding? Raphina doesn't know. Will gets to the thing that's worrying him. *"What if there are giant worms under the lake?!"* he says. Raphina daydreams enthusiastically about a worm digging it's way out of the lake, causing the city to flood. She reassures everyone that she is most definitely NOT a serial killer. She's pretty sure anyway.

Raphina reminds everyone that with regards to worms, *"Anything is possible in this weird, strange Beartoggle,"* and the dam looms higher and higher above them as they approach it. The early morning sun has just broken the horizon and they notice the workers rebuilding the Grand Staircase have nearly completed a structure that spans the whole height of the dam. Once they're close enough to the dam itself, they can see the spillway pouring water down into the river below it, a little stairway leading down to the river itself. This must be the place.

## Quotes

* Rosco: *"So now we got two more questions to go."* Raphina: *"We want to go to the gate of the dam, and open up the doors, with the four keys, before we lose the keys."* Rosco: *"Raphina, that's not a question."* Raphina: *"eH?! Door?"*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Eric/Sheemie. The party were discussing what to do while they wait for the next sunrise and get the benefits of a long rest before they tackle the dam. Rosco says *"Like what else is there to do? I mean, if it's not time sensitive, we could just hang out for the day and then go to sleep at night. And for those of you who are magic, you're gonna get your spell slots back, or..."* Sheemie: *"I don't know, I feel like this kind of world, you need to spell out every minute that you experience in at least two or three minutes per minute. And for us to spend that kind of time doin' nothin' just to get to tomorrow, that seems a little suspect to me."*
* Tuvan throat singing! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qx8hrhBZJ98
* The history of swimwear! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History\_of\_swimwear
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: **すごく辛い**, which translates in Japanese to **very spicy**. It was previously described as **extra spicy** in the description for Episode 289 and as **muy caliente** in the description for Episode 290.

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*

## References

1. ↑ See episode 252: The Pied Piper of Puppetry
2. ↑ See episode 269: A Triple Axel? Oh, Very Nice!
3. ↑ See episode 286: Mustard Soup
4. ↑ See episode 271: Gleb
5. ↑ See episode 257: Majestically Boring
6. ↑ See episode 276: Hand-Back-Wrench
7. ↑ See episode 210: Does Anyone Need a Soup Tureen?