Mommy's Milk Cheese

[This Transcript is For the Wonder of it all meet me at Foxwoods]

## Today at 8:21 AM

Lol its not bad

It's basically Bed hot dog

Bedfellows Jim and April and willow

## Today at 9:03 AM

It's a scandalous title we later find out but Jim lets it fly...only because april will be sleeping when he upload it. maybe this is his procrastinator's hotdog like he's doing the homework the night before it's due cuz he know the 100 monsters will be irate if it's late.

It'd be a sight to hear jim be irate or angry it's kind of hard to imagine he has this like mellow way of speaking that still has a broad variety of cadence in his voice but kinda bassey and neutral.

They're gabbing on about breast milk, Jim's surprisingly lactating and it's piqued his curiosity like if someone was exuding their own monterey jack and trust me i'm giving you the filtered version if you want to lose your lunch then check the unpasturized audio.

So april concieves a superhero with the power of lactates. She's thinking of origin stories like drank radioactive lactose crystals. But a mystical origin is a little cleaner.

"That ones for free marvel" April knows the intricacies of corporate copygreed and knows the futility now that it's been broadcast to the whole entire world.

However Jim isn't so sure, he finally reveals what he done with the Kickstarter Money. It was hiring lawyers to go after Marvel. Like FF2 is actually titled "The Lawyers."

April is kind of swooning at Jims chivalry in defending her idea, she's exclaiming lots of like old victorian era ooh! and oh my! maybe she's stuck in the time loup?

Jim just wants to sue marvel, it's all he's ever wanted in his life, it's a real cathartic confession.

So we're into the meat of the hotdog, he's googling breast milk cheese, it autocorrected to best milk cheese. Aprils like that's not a thing that would ever be decided. Jim's all like uh huh! And lo and behold he finds " Best Mommy's Milk Cheese "

And Aprils so put off by the infantilism of it like here baby, have mummy's cheese baby oh so good goo goo.

## **VERY LOCAL FROMAGE**

"Ready to roll up your sleeves? Courtesy of Nyc chef Daniel Angerer. Is he so mad about breast milk? he makes people mad like the terminator. So Angry had sooo much milk breast milk leftover, but the gracious benevolent amazing angerers they were so need a gold star because they actually considered donating their precious mommy's milk to an Infinite Hatian Milk Bank (Something with the enzymes they can effectively clone breast milk without diluting it). However they were selfish and decided to do some frankencheese experrrriments with it.

They first considered buttermilk breastmilk for biscuits and pancakes but the tang was off the wang. So then they wanted to serve something or other at their little shop of horrors and basically surrepticiously started handing out free samples of Mommy's milk cheese too cuz hey why not.

### ***Knock knock*** **NYC DOHMH Stop this now!**

Basic recipie 8 Cups of any milk, 2 C Mommy's Milk, 2 C Milk. Jims like wtf you use two types of milk?

April slashes with some pointing out of ethical hypocracy for 850 damage, Jim zings with the logical equation that this milk Violates Both Ethical Codes for 781 damage.

That's why they call him The Angerer

April very cautiously asks if Jewish people can drink milk? Jim Say Not with meat. Aprils in stitches, on her near dying breath she exclaims: No Beans & Cheese! Shes saying sorry for her comments, Jim's not sorry, all of a sudden in his most gruffiest voice he thinks he's Nicholas Bruce Cage Willis: "I'm really not, They run hollywood, and puts on his sunglasses."

Rennet Comes in Tablets. Active Cultured Yoghurt. Jim's like riddle me this if you like cheese do you like rennet? What about Salt from a baleen whale? It was Jim testing April if she was paying attention. She says something about preparing to banish Shredder to Dimension X. So Amber grease (ambergris) is some whale vomit they find and they want to hide it from the world as well as it being the best burger ingredient in bobs burgers.

Sea Salt, Jim reveals, (like with the whole bayleen conspiracy) it's just not spelled the same way. But it's got a whale of a container.

Inoculate milk to 68 degrees freighterheight, begin to prepare the introduce photon starter bacteria process. Aprils caught up on inoculate. It's "So Craze" that he's gonna google another thing. Willow Speaks, they said hellow, and they're breathing heavily in the microphone, now willow body slammed Jim or something he's squished like *help.*

## Today at 9:50 AM

Jim thinks they're using the word innoculate too loosely. They're like talking some science, Aprils about to say something really scientific and brainy but Jim just says it's 68 degrees of separation! Theyre just stonily meandering for a minute not really knowing wtf they're saying, April wants Jim to do the Val Kilmer voice again or something: "nobody, oh really, i'm pretty sure" and hes like okay talking about 6 degree of kevin bacon and he's like you gotta be either 10 degrees, or never in a movie, or in a movie with nobodys there but your imagination kinda like this podcast.

Finally back to the recipe, lactose lactic acid, you can detect it's presence by sour taste, blah de blah cover pot and don't disturb for an hour until the Clean Break Stage is achieved meaning, with a clean spoon lift a small piece of crud out of the milk if it's still soft and gel like let the pot stand for an hour more. If the crud breaks Clean cut with a knife into squares cut into the pot one quesition (pronounced like inquisition) mark two inch cube pattern raise tempuratura slowly stirring and Jim snapping out of a phantom daze realizes he was caught in the hypnocheese droning on so he stopped himself like i don't need to do this...

## Today at 9:54 AM

April cracks the case, apparently it's basically like making regular cheese.

## Today at 9:56 AM

So typically fox news content is something about the truth being the oposite, they're getting really sleepy. Fox news and NPR are opposites. Straight dope hasn't updated it's layout in a minute.

April thinks the Straight Dope is Cool the concept and origin of it all, Jim showing his age by saying I used to read it when it was a Newspaper column he practically said it in an old man voice.

So straight dope, good design, hard to read on phone.

It's 10:57 that means its time to wrap up this episode of Bed hot Dog.

It's a terrible name April relents

Jim is the one who types. Nevermore

Aprils actually writing this transcript and sending it to Jim.

Theyre talking to whoever wrote some transcript and they're basically saying that their mental state during this whole podcast is a result of Jim reading the transcript to april out loud...

also 100 Monsters have been asking what the the most cryptic thing was on this podcast It was... I Choose You, **The Clean Break State!**