Season 2 Episode 1: Total Drama Newbies

Chris: Welcome to Episode 1 of the newest season premiere of Total Drama! This time, instead of using the original cast, I will like to host a new one! It will have more exciting challenges, more romance, and especially, MORE DRAMA! It's all coming to you, right here, right now, on Total....Drama.....NEWBIES!

(Theme Song)

Chris: Welcome back! And our first cast member is here! Meet Alex!

(Alex is a constant chatter and will most likely talk about what subaru you have. Also, don't make his Starbucks Moka wrong.)

Alex: Hey, Chris. I watched you a few times on the air! I never seen you drive a car before though... Do you have a Mazda 6 or 7? The richest people have seven.

Chris: Actually, I have a Limo.

Alex: What type of limo? Stretch SUV? Party Limo?

Chris: Actually, it's a Gold Plated Limo.

Alex: Cool! (Thinks Chris is rich) Hey Chris, do you have a(Interrupted by next boat)

Chris: Now we meet Nigel!

(Nigel is a really feisty boy who won't back down from a fight if you ask for one.)

Nigel: I hope this place has some actual privacy, because, I don't spend my time with losers.

Chris: You might regret saying that later.

Alex: Hey, bro wassup?

Nigel: Don't high five me. I don't need your monster germs.

Alex: Hey, my Mazda 7 can change what you think about loser germs!

Nigel: Ok, sweetheart.

Chris: Welcome Jenny!

(Jenny is a kind, sweet loving person that will definitely make freinds with you.)

Jenny: Hello, IM JENNY! Nice to meet you guys! What is your name?

Alex: My name is Alex. What type of car do you have?

Jenny: Uh... do teens have cars? I don't have one.

Jenny: Hi, hey you! What is your name!

Nigel: You don't need to know, because you will get voted off so quick, you won't remember any of us.

Jenny: (To alex) What a harsh guy!

Alex: I know, right?

Chris: Up next, we have Paula!

(Paula does not put up for any rudeness, she has the personality of Leshawna)

Paula: Hey, how are you guys doing, give me some of those!

Jenny: Hey, nice to meet you!

Paula: You too, girl. Hey, what's that dude over there.? Hey baby, give me your name.

Nigel: Its: Get Out Of My Face. I don't need some girl with farm attitude around here.

Paula: OK OK NOW U ASKED FOR IT BOY, GIVE ME YOUR STRIPS!

Jenny and Alex: (Hold Paula down)

Chris: Coming next, it is David!

(David is a constant bragger and gets annoyed very easily)

David: Hi, guys, how much money do you make per week, because my yearly profit is usually about $200,000 a year.

Paula: U must be working at some rich job, sugar baby because I don't have no job yet.

David: So you make $0 per year? I thought most teens at least we're cashiers!

Paula: U must be an adult or something because no cashier makes that much over a year.

Alex: Good to meet another guy who likes to chat.

David and Alex: What type of drink do you like?

David and Alex: Gosh, I like the Moka.

David: We are exactly alike!

Jenny: Good for you guys! (Jenny smiles)

Chris: Ok, enough chit-chat. It's time for Desmond to come in!

(Desmond is a academic whiz, but he is no meaner than Nigel.)

Desmond: Hi guys!

Jenny: Hi! Wow, besides Nigel, there are a lot of nice people on this show!

Nigel: Ugh, another whiz. Now you are number 1 on my list to get kicked off.

David: Hey, don't brag, i'm the guy for that!

Desmond: Wow, that Nigel guy is really mean!

Jenny: If you are on my team, we should vote him off first!

Desmond: Agreed!

(So far, Alex, Nigel, Jenny, Paula, David, Desmond)

Chris: Our next contestant is Cameron!

(Cameron is a Football master, and he is a pretty nice person btw.)

Cameron: Whassup, guys? Ready to hit the Touchdown on Team Meanies?

Jenny: What?

Cameron: That is football for: Let's bring down any bad people on this show!

Nigel: Oh, I'm so scared! Beat it hobo!

David: This dude is messing up his reputation too much. I bet he makes no more than $1 a year.

Paula: Punks goin down!

Cameron: Hey, no need to hit it to the big game folks!

Chris: Our next contestant is Andrew!

(Andrew is a mystery...)

Andrew: Hi.

Alex: Hi, you look like the type of guy who owns a car! What model?

Andrew: I don't own a car. Neither do you. You read 15 years old.

Alex: What... how'd you know?

Andrew: I can read(Interrupted by Nigel)

Nigel: Don't be reading my age, because you will be so scared how mature I am than you.

Paula: He just pulled the last straw, and we haven't even started yet!

Andrew: His (Jenny interrupts him but then stops) says that he was born orphaned as a child, but went on to get his own dreams.

Nigel: (Stares at Andrew) How do you know our secrets? Are you a criminal?

Andrew: No, its just I am a mystery. I even think so.

Chris: Ok.... I don't want him reading my age. Our next contestant is: Gabriella!

(Gabriella tends to exaggerate about things. People think she is weird.)

Gabriella: Hi, new freinds! Do you have a soul?

Jenny: Umm..yes?

Andrew: She exaggerates. She thinks she has no soul.

Paula: Dude's a mystery alright.

Alex: Maybe she has a Widow!

David and Alex: Ut oh! Superhero! HAHAHAHHAH!

Cameron: What superhero? Does he play at the big FSL?

Gabriella: Who likes candy? I have plenty! In a bag! That must keep them sanitary, because a lot of people put food in a bag!

Jenny: I will have some!

Nigel: I bet she gets "Sugar Rush."

Chris: Most of you are weird....I should bring out the contestants that are sane.

(So far, Alex, Nigel, Jenny, Paula, David, Desmond, Cameron, Andrew, Gabriella)

Chris: Next, we have Richards!

(Richards is a Joke-asauras. yes, she uses dinosaur terms.)

Richards: Hi, Folk-asaurases! How ya doing!

Alex: Where is a dinosaur? With that money, I can buy a BMX!

Nigel: Dinosaurs are extinct, do you go to school much?

Desmond, I have to agree, I mean even I know that.

Alex: Don't side with the mean guy!

Richards: Who's the Mean-asaurus?

Jenny: Nigel.

Paula: Get enlightened, buddy.

Cameron: Don't stop till the FSL, big boys!

Andrew: Football soul.

Chris: Next, we have Woody!

(Is that his real name? He is a bad model, after all!)(Credit to Toy Story)

Woody: Hey, Howdy hey, my name is Woody! Gidde up old pals!

Jenny: Yeee haw! Cmon farm, girl, you know the routine!

Paula: I'm not a farm girl!

David and Alex: Yiddy how to you too!

Woody: I'm glad to see the rootin-tootin spirit, freinds! I am a model!

Gabriella: You look like Woody from Toy Story! ARE YOU A NO-SOULER LIKE ME?!

Woody: Girl, I have plenty soul going around!

Richards: Model-saurus!

Woody: Saurus don't prance around here, mam.

Richards: Hey!

Chris: Our next member is: Cahard!

(Cahard is a delinquent. Juvenile, anyone?)

Cahard: \*Rick Roll\* Yes, i'm going to win this fest.

Woody: Ye howdy hey, i think that dude is bogus!

David: No offense, but I think you are bogus.

Nigel: Great. What but another loser here. Somebody call the cops.

Cahard: I can give you a wedgie, Mr. Smart Guy.

Paula: Teach him!

Desmond: My genius says that he has no more than more IQ than Woody.

Cahard: Just wow, noob.

Andrew: I think this dude can also read people.

Gabriella: HOW FUN TO BE WITH SO MUCH PEOPLE!

Cahard: \*Rick Roll\*

Chris: Next, we have Barker!

(Barker is a dog trainer, and his disappointment that there are no pets allowed here.)

Barker: Julio to the prom! Where are the pups?

Nigel: Oh my god, ARE THESE ALL THE PEOPLE ALREADY?!

Woody: Hey howdy(Interrupt)

David: CAN YOU PLEASE be quiet!!

Richards: Dog-asaurus yes he is!

Desmond: He must have went to acting school to do his job.

Nigel: Or noob school.

Paula, Cahard, and Desmond: SHUT UP, NIGEL!!!

Barker: No need to get loud, people! We can all be freinds!

Jenny: He is right! Lets stop arguing!

Cahard: I am not here to "make freinds." I am going to win this thing!

Jenny: We should vote you off second!

Nigel: Stop getting so sensitive. So what? He just wants to win. He is the only one that is not a rat here.

Paula: Great defendant.

Barker: I think I can hear another boat. Maybe it is the pups! JULIO!!

Alex: (stares)

Chris: Now, we have Zeke!

(This is not Ezekiel. No way. This is a tech-savvy genius. Hacker.)

Zeke: Em=c=2xiw39329kss0qx993930232-22=39339039302932824384784884484.

David: What???

Desmond: Even I don't know that math. How young are we again?

Woody: THIS GUY IS FAKE!!! SLANG NO MERCY!!

Paula: This dude is annoying.

Cahard: Let me give him a piece of his mind. (Wedgie)

Woody: HEY HOWDY OOOOOOOO WWWW HOW WWWWWW!!

All: (LAUGH)

Zeke: The attention to me please? Let me control his mind. (Puts a machine on Woody's head)

Woody: Emc=uwuhehehddeeenndnx733829829ssjs=ERORR I AM TO DUMB TO DO MATH LIKE THI SAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHSQHSQISJISWS!!!!

Paula: Take that thing off him before he blows up!

Zeke: (Takes off helmet) There. Maybe people are just to dumb for this world.

Chris: UGHHH this is getting boring! Let's bring in two contestants to make this go faster!!

Chris: Its: Nolan and Pearl!

(Nolan is a Original Guy who does average-human things. Pearl is a big show-off and stars every show.)

Nolan: Hi..WOAHHH(Trips off boat)

Pearl: No big boy! It's time for me to shine!

Cameron: She looks like an average! BAM YES!

Andrew: Your soul reads that you will probably be final 10. Can we make that happen?

Nolan: Hello? I was being introduced!

Pearl: Get out of the spotlight, slo-mo!

Paula: Now we got some real "Total Drama here."

Zeke: Esshdedjefeufrhfhefx939274837e83=YOU WILL NOT SURPASS!!!

Andrew: Talk about it.

Chris: Our next contestant is: Mari!

(Mari is a super good assassin ninja. Probably my favorite.)

Mari: HI YAAA (Does a barrel roll of the boat) Those me mad skills!

Nigel: WOAH get a chicken leg!

David: Uh.... I also have those skills!

Alex: Maybe her car is a ghost!

Mari: Im SIDEKICK!

Gabriella: Cool! I think that means she has superpowers! Un-soulless!

Desmond: I also noticed that! She might have superpowers!

Desmond and Gabriella: (Both glance at each other)

Richards: Yay! It is a Ninja-saurus!

Mari: You betcha!

Nolan: I was never properly introduced-

Chris:-The next person arriving is....Oliver!

(Oliver appreciates his name. He won't stop talking about it.)

Oliver: Hi guys, with the not so great names!

Paula: What did you just say?

David: A new antagonist already? Sheesh!

Nigel: Don't replace my job, hobo.

Oliver: Im rich in remarks. Did you know Oliver is the #1 baby name in the world? HA!

Cahard: So you are a baby?

All: (LAUGH)

Oliver: Bad first impression...

Chris: Ok! Enough with you!

(So far, Alex, Nigel, Jenny, Paula, David, Desmond, Cameron, Andrew, Gabriella, Richards, Woody, Cahard, Barker, Zeke, Nolan, Pearl, Mari, Oliver.)

Chris: Next, we have Rosanne!

(Rosanne thinks she is popular because she comes from a classic tv show.)(Credit to Rosanne)

Rosanne: What sup yall! I'm famous!

Nigel: Ok, we have enough famous people on this show. CAN WE GET A NEW ONE?

Nolan: I still haven't had A PROPER INTR-

Chris: If you want, Nigel, i'll bring in the next member super early.

Chris; Its......Henry!

(Henry is a daring stuntman who will "blow" your mind.)

Henry: \*BOOOOOOOM MMM\* Yeah babe! (Lands on dock)

David: A stuntman! Nice!

Mari: He looks cool alright!

Henry: Whassup, yall! I hope we have some acrobatic challenges, because I will ROCK them!

Mari: Nice!

Henry and Mari: (Glance at each other)

Chris: I think that that is the whole cast!

Chris: Wait, no. Im forgetting two.

Chris: Meet Ennis and August!

(Ennis is a british traveler. August is a newbie who, let's say it, does not know much.)

Ennis: Helo, padk the ca.(Hello, park the car)

August: Who are you? Who are you? And who are you? Who is british? What is british? British? Huh?

Paula: Girl, chill on the questions!

Nigel: I'm just happy these are all the snakes taking place in this dump.

Ennis: Dooon't be so mean me fren! (Don't be so mean, my friend!)

Chris: This is all of them. Good luck in the next challenge!

(Ending of Episode 1)(TDN)

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