Waaahmbulance

**Group Link** | {{{Group Link}}}

## Introduction

Waaahmbulance, a Chapter on Bungie.net, is a private group with open admission to any registered Bungie.net user. Waaahmbulance is a unique group in that its forums are not designed for discussion, but rather as a display showcase for the sometimes embarrassing, sometimes horrifying, and always hilarious private messages received by many of Bungie.net's Forum Ninjas from users to whom they have issued warnings or bans. As of 2013 this group is no longer active due to the fact all bans are now anonymously given.

## History

The idea for Waaahmbulance was actually first conceived by Achilles1108, who wanted to create a thread in the Bungie Community Forum displaying some of his more hilarious private messages from users that he had banned. When Achilles' work schedule became too overloaded to continue the project, Foman123 picked the project up and reformed the idea as a private group instead.

The first several pages of threads in Waaahmbulance were all created by Foman, but many of the Forum Ninjas have contributed to the group more recently. The following is a list of Waaahmbulance's current Forum Ninjas who contribute to the group:

* Achilles1108 (former contributor)
* ash55
* bobcast
* borrowedchief
* Butane123
* Captain K Mart (former contributor)
* dazarobbo
* Duardo
* El Roboto
* just another fan (former contributor)
* Nedus
* Odmichael (former contributor)
* Old Papa Rich
* Qbix89
* The Slayer
* True Underdog
* x Foman123 x
* Yoozel

## Group Structure

Waaahmbulance is a very simple group based on three basic concepts.

### Reality

Only real and unembellished private messages are ever posted in the group. Every private message posted by the Forum Ninjas in the group is real, and private messages are carefully screened to avoid people purposely attempting to get their own messages into the Waaahmbulance.

Some users have successfully managed to "fake" Waaahmbulance PMs, but such users have been blacklisted from the group and the threads containing these fake messages have been removed from the group.

### Protection of Identities

Users' identities are *always* protected in Waaahmbulance. Waaahmbulance usernames re replaced with "censored." Private messages are kept private, and individual users are *never* singled out for embarrassment.

### Thread Creation

Creation of new threads in Waaahmbulance is restricted to Forum Ninjas only. Rulebreaking threads are deleted -- not locked -- and rule-violating users receive harsh punishment. This results in a clean forum experience for others, allowing them to browse all pages of the forum without ever running across a single thread that does not contain hilarious PMs from banned Bungie.net users.

## Sample

A sample private message from Waaahmbulance (the original thread is here):

*User was permanently banned for creating an alternate account solely to spam the forums.*

*Received via private message:*

YOU. ARE. SO. GA­Y.
WTF TWTF WTF THIS DISEMBODIED SOUL BANNED MY ACCOUNT FOR NOTHING AFTER I RESIGNED INTO IT.

thats BULShi't TOO CUZ ITS NOT EVEN FAIR

WOW. WHY? I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING ON THAT ACCOUNT I DID IT ON THIS ONE AND I TOLD YOU WHAT ACCOUNT TO PERMA
BAN YOU DUMB STUPID -blam!- RETARED DIP-blam!-TT -blam!-T MORON!!!! GOD DAMN IDIOT!!! WOW U NEVER CEASE TO
AMAZE ME Ur ignorance iS beyond limits at thsi point you clearly dont know how to face problems like a amn if
you just go around pressing the "help me help me hlep me button all the time because you cant deal with your
problems like a real man could u just need to stop being such a -blam!- all the time banning people who dont
deserve to be banned like me you stupid DUMB STUPID FU'CKING IDIOT DIUTYAUSDPOI
1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD!!!!! UR FAT TOO!!!