The Third Crime Scene

"The Third Crime Scene" is the tenth track of Kevin & Abi and the Secret of the Golden Pendant

## Performers

Oliver Marsh as "Kevin" and "Elias Marsh"

Kiera-Marie Somers as "Abi"

Lauren Osborn as "Solandra Osborn"

Hayley Warner as "Telna Warner"

Kerttu Aarnipuu as "Ryvyr D Goblin" and "Pendant"

Paul Shapera as "Townspeople Chorus"

## Lyrics

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Woah, Where are we?

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

I don't think this is New Albion.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

It's a small town, maybe it's early New Albion?

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

No, look at the sign. It says "Dusty Falls"

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Oh, that's some town way out to the west, on the way to the mountains.

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

*When* are we?

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Well look at that old car, it looks like around the time of the war.

[RYVYR:] *(spoken)*

There's an outdoor market over there.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Let's go take a look.

[PENDANT:]

Come to me, hear my song...

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

That pendant sure is determined.

*[Scream]*

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

There we go..

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Alright, lets get to the bottom of this.

[TOWNSPEOPLE PARTY CHORUS:]

There's murder at the market, there's termites in the wood

Shenanigans have jumped right in and it ain't lookin good

There's hanky in the panky, a lowlife here at hand

We'll hang 'em before sunset if we can

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

And of course it's you three. Can I get your names?

[SOLANDRA:] *(spoken)*

I'm Solandra!

[TELNA:] *(spoken)*

I'm Telna!

[SOLANDRA,TELNA:] *(spoken)*

And we're super best friends!

[SOLANDRA:] *(spoken)*

I love you, girl

[TELNA:] *(spoken)*

No girl, I love you!

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

You've got to be kidding me...

[TELNA:] *(spoken)*

That's right, solidarity sister.

[SOLANDRA:] *(spoken)*

Sisters before misters.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Your friendship warms my rodent heart, Ok Tenla, can you please tell me what's going on here?

[TELNA:]

Two strangers came to market from New Albion we thought

They dressed all weird and had this strange ol' pedant so we got

Up to talkin to em, they're heading further west to get

Some message to the monastery, I think they said

[TENLA:] *(spoken)*

Someone named Larry needed help?

[SOLANDRA:] *(spoken)*

Lucas?

[TENLA:] *(spoken)*

Louie?

[SOLANDRA:] *(spoken)*

No, someone named Lloyd.

[TENLA] *(spoken)*

Yeah, some guy named Lloyd needed help. Anyway,

[TENLA:]

That pendant was real pretty thus Solandra and me

Decided we should offer them, the strangers, special tea

A secret ingredient we had to get from home

So Solandra said, now Telna you should go

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

That secret ingredient wouldn't happen to be poison, would it?

[TENLA:] *(spoken)*

What?! How could you? What a terrible thing to say!

[SOLANDRA:] *(spoken)*

Heavens gracious! I'm shocked and offended you would suggest such a thing!

[TENLA:]

I ran home to get it, but when I got back here instead

The strangers they call Voodoopunk were both lying here dead

The very pretty pendant is gone I have no clue

What happened there was nothing I could do

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Abi, check her pockets.

[TENLA:] *(spoken)*

How dare you, take you hands off me this instant!

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

Well lookie here, weasel root, A tasteless poison.

[TENLA:] *(spoken)*

But I wasn't here! They died when I was getting it!

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Ok Solandra. I cannot wait to hear your version of events.

[SOLANDRA:]

Telna hurried home so we could give our guests a treat

That pendant sure was beautiful but alas it sure beats me

What happened they just dropped dead, they didn't last real long

And now that pretty pendant is just gone

But how I heard it singing, it was calling out to me

It hypnotized, it captivized, like it was witchin me

But how I wonder where its gone, I'm sure I don't recall

A shame about them strangers dead and all

[TENLA:] *(spoken)*

But how could the pendant just disappear? You'd never take it without telling me, would ya? Cause I mean, we agreed...

[SOLANDRA:] *(spoken)*

Shh, quiet!

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Why did the Voodopunks have the pendant in the first place?

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

Probably to drop off at the monastery in the mountains.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Alright, Elliot, get over here.

[ELIAS:] *(spoken)*

Uh, My name is Elias.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Whatever, why don't you explain how much of a simp you are.

[ELIAS:]

My name is Elias Marsh, and I sell elixirs for your health

If you're feeling run down, you're in luck, I have just the thing to help

It's true I date Solandra she might be the love of my life

I sure do hope to someday make her my wife

Solandra sent Telna home to get the poi... I mean, you know, the secret thing

But it turned out she already had some in her purse she's carrying

She made some tea and told me that I should give it to the guests

But they got really sick and well, you know the rest

[TOWNSPEOPLE CHORUS:]

There's murder at the market, there's termites in the wood

Shenanigans have jumped right in and it ain't lookin good

There's hanky in the panky, a lowlife here at hand

We'll hang 'em before sunset if we can

[SOLANDRA:] *(spoken)*

So he admits to serving them the tea!

[TELNA:] *(spoken)*

Wait, you already had the stuff in your purse?

[RYVYR:] *(spoken)*

Where is my tribes' pendant?

[PENDANT:]

Come to me, hear my song...

[SOLANDRA:] *(spoken)*

Wh- It just disappeared! I think Elias took it

[ELIAS:] *(spoken)*

Sugar dumpling! how could you say such a thing!?

[TENLA] *(spoken)*

You lying bitch! You took the pendant! But we agreed to share it, You promised!

[SOLANDRA:] *(spoken)*

I know you slept with Elias!

[TENLA:] *(spoken)*

One time! We were drunk.

[ELIAS:] *(spoken)*

Four actually, I made little notched on my headboard to commemorate.

[SOLANDRA:] *(spoken)*

You slut!

[TENLA:] *(spoken)*

You lying whore!

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

Spell from hell time!

[Thunder Crash]

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Wow, that's a good spell.

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

There's really nothing to it, but it shuts them up.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

You should use that as your catchphrase.

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

What, spell from hell time?

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Yeah, that's not bad.

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

But how often would I get to use it...

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Like, once an episode?

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

Hm, It's a thought!

[KEVIN] *(spoken)*

Ok. Is everyone still here? Ryvyr, what are you doing?

[RYVYR:] *(spoken)*

Nothing. I'm just looking for my pendant.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Just hang on. I believe I have the solution to this idiocy. If you're all ready, I'll explain it