Episode 66: Dawn's Family Feud

The episode for "Dawn’s Family Feud" was originally released on June 12, 2017 and is #64. **You can listen to it here.** This episode is 1:00:49 long.This week's ghostwriter: Jahnna N. Malcolm.

*Previous:* BSCC: Mystery 2 - Beware, Dawn | *Next:* Episode 67: Stacey's Big Crush | *Or,* see all episodes.

## Official Episode Description

Happy Trails, Baby Nation! Jack and Tanner are taking a tour of Boston’s “The Freedom Trail” this week, thanks to the entity known as Jahnna N. Malcolm, who co-wrote this novel with Ann. M. Martin and (presumably) The Boston Tourism Board. Unfortunately, Dawn and Mary Anne are at each other’s throats again this week, so the boys distract themselves from that unpleasantness by spending a laudable amount of time Googling to see if the Bible ever mentions weed.

## Music Credits

* “The Last Bastion,” by Adriael
* “March of the Villain,” by Erik M Music
* “Abandoned Cemetery,” by TeknoAXE
* “Jumper,” by PlatinumEDM
* Original Intro by Scott Lamb
* Superbrat Outro by Superbrat

## Ann's Epithets

Baby Bee Beth Ann coins the epithet "priestess" in today's episode.

## Book Description

The backing music for Jack's description is truly epic. "In the houses of Spier and Schafer, there is only one goal: Power. Joined by law and a marriage born of youthful passion, they are divided in every other way by an emnity born of ambition, mutual distrust, and blind hatred. And when Dawn and Jeff Schaefer find themselves in the crosshairs of the willful and mercurial Mary Anne Spier after an insult to her father that she cannot forgive, their parents can only look on in despair as the family they have built up with their love is ripped apart by a tornado of spite and malice. Dawn's Family Fued. The Novel."

## Segments

###  Burn Of The Week

Tanner: "I'm the tow truck, this bus broke down!"

Jack: "I don't think buses go there, you need to take a boat."

Jack: "The Earth: Save It or Leave It" sweatshirt, a burn on Stacey McGill, holding a snowball up in Congress.

Tanner: "a family of hillbillies out on the porch"

###  Mike Check

Return of Mike Check in the stinger. Tanner checks in on Mike Wakowski from Monsters Inc., and then Mike Shenota from Linkin Park. Jack asks who the better Mike in REM is, Mike Mills or Michael Stipe. They then play a little clip from a Linkin Park song. "It's good!" Tanner Raps.

###  Tanner Googles

Jack incites a Tanner Googles to find out which other books Jahnna N. Malcolm wrote in the series. He is horrified that their penname is their actual names. Jack thinks this is boring, Tanner thinks this is clever. This is the first use of "The Entity" as a nickname. They identify a partial list of their previous books; prior to this episode, books by The Entity are: Episode 49: Mallory on Strike, Episode 56: Mallory and the Dream Horse, and Episode 59: Dawn Saves the Planet.

Later, Jack brings it upon himself again by asking if you "rustle" cattle. Tanner is correct.

Later again, Jack wonders what a 420 Bible verse is. Tanner Googles, and reads Proverbs 4:20; John 4:20; and Mark 4:20.

Later yet again, Tanner Googles Shannon Kilbourne and clicks into the Archive of Our Own tag for her. He makes an audible noise while reading the first story's description.

###  Tearful Moment

Jack: when Franklin and Mrs. Barrett were surrounded by seven beautiful kids, the impossible family

Tanner: Baby Bee Beth Ann's email about her dad. She also coins the epithet "Priestess".

## Theories

###  Bread Theory

Pack a loaf of bread and thou shalt feed the multitudes.

###  Doll Theory

The DeWitt children are sitting on the couch dressed like dolls, waiting.

## Jack's References

* Jack did not like this book much.
* Jack notes that the Happy Reading section ends with "Happy Trails!" this week.

## Tanner's References

* Tanner took four notes this week: two burns, two tearful moments.
* Typical Hatfields vs McCoys
* Cormac McCarthy's "The Road"
* Death of Superman, 1992.

## Notes

* "It felt like it was brought to you by the Boston Tourism Board."
* In the beginning of the episode, Tanner picks up Jack's guitar to try and give some background music.
* Jack and Tanner are face to face in this episode, because Tanner and Jaime came down to Austin to watch a taping of "a podcast featuring some brothers". Later, they note that they were also at The Adventure Zone live show.
* There is an extended set of bad accents, including Australian and Canadian.
* There is an extended Harry Potter section, and Tanner starts out by referring to J. K. Rowling as J. K Simmons, a  mean man who teaches drum lessons to a boy.
	+ Jack thinks he is a Hufflepuff which is "100% false", according to Tanner. Tanner maintains that Jack is a Gryffindor, and Jaime maintains that Jack is a Slytherin.
	+ Jaime gave Jack a single-question quiz on which thing he values the most: books, hugs, leading others, or being right.
	+ Jaime and Sarah are both Ravenclaws and Tanner self-identifies as Hufflepuff.
	+ "Good fun Potter talk!"
* There is a discussion on the proper abbreviation for "margaritas".
* "I don't think we've told Baby Nation," says Tanner, revealing that Jack's becoming Daddy Uncle Jack.

"OBOWing is—"
"It's not a sex thing."
"— yet. It's a patented technique —"
"Baby Nation, I cannot clarify enough, it's not a sex thing."
"It's a patented technique that I came up with. The name OBOW was come up with by Original Baby Boy Scott Lamb, author of our theme song. The technique was come up with by me, JackandTanner. It's a patented technique where you drink One Beer, and then you drink One Water. OB-OW. And then you repeat. It's a way of not drinking too many beers."

## References & Links

1. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cattle\_raiding
2. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatfield%E2%80%93McCoy\_feud
3. ↑ https://www.maximumfun.org/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/mbmbam-356-face-2-face-my-donut-loving-boys; relatedly, Jaime asks an audience question in the 2014 Candlenights special
4. ↑ https://www.maximumfun.org/adventure-zone/adventure-zone-live-austin

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