R. Asquith

General R. Asquith was Chief of The Defence Staff: the most senior military officer in Great Britain at the time of Rabe Maniels' second attempt to take over the world.

"Sir! Under section five of the emergency protocols: it is my duty to relieve you of command!" General Asquith threatening to remove Rabe Maniels from power.

## R. Asquith

### Relatives

Richard Asquith (Twin Brother) deceasedUnnamed Mother

Muriel Asquith (Grandmother)

### Affiliation

British Armed ForcesThe Lost Episode Resistance

The Shadow Reader

Richard Fatchurd deceased

Rabe Maniels formerly

Charles Dunne

Bill Dauterive

Boris Johnson

## Overview

General R. Asquith is in charge of the British Military; as such is very serious but takes a lot of pride in his work. He was also the identical twin brother of the late Richard Asquith who served as CLPD Commissioner (2008-2018). Ironically, both brothers were killed by Rabe Maniels after getting unknowingly involved in Maniels' schemes for world domination. He acts as a major throne in Maniels' side for the late half of 2019.

## Background

Not much is really known about General Asquith's childhood and adolence other than the fact that he is the identical twin brother of Richard Asquith. It is also unknown how or when Asquith became Chief of The Defence Staff. What is known that he was in the position sometime before or during 2017, as after viewing a lost episode, Dot suggested having General Asquith look into it only to get quickly shut down by Greg Blakeman.

## The LA Noire Incident

On July 27th 2019, General Asquith was summoned to Rockstar Studios' Hammersmith Divison with a platoon of soldiers in order to look over an LA Noire bootleg. Asquith and his bodyguard Sergeant Charles Dunne were disgusted with the bootleg questioning if it was real or a hoax. Asquith then proceeded to place the entire building under military control before making his leave with Dunne accompanying him. Asquith and Dunne headed to 10 Downing Street where Asquith then proceeded to brief Rabe Maniels and the rest of the Cabinet on the situation.

## Going After Maniels

Over the next two months, Asquith begins to suspect that Rabe Maniels and his associate Johnny Buggerton are behind the lost media projects which keep turning up over town. He also receives information from an anonymous source (likely The Shadow Reader) that the DA and Cardiff City Mayor are in on the scheme. Asquith dispatches his good friend and a senior MI5 member Margret Blaine to question Maniels over his criminal actives. Blaine learns from Maniels that he, Buggerton, and business partner Walter Schmitt are planning on building a freeway which building will cause a change reaction which will bring about the end of the world. Blaine is then taken by surprise and killed by Blon Fel-Fotch Passameer Day Slitheen who then uses Blaine for a skin suit. As Blaine, Blon lies to Asquith and says that Maniels is not involved in lost media whatsoever.

## The Peppa Pig Lost Episode

In September, Asquith infiltrates an organisation known as the Pigging Boys who he believes may be getting kickbacks from Rabe Maniels. After witnessing yet another lost episode, Asquith lost his cool and had Great Britain placed under martial law until he got to the bottom of the situation.

## Death

Asquith then summoned Rabe to the Mason Household where he proceeded to confront Maniels over his embarrassing lack of leadership. He then announces his plan to remove Maniels from command acting under the emergency protocols. Furthermore, Asquith went on to threaten to put Downing Street under military control until further notice. Maniels finally had enough and kills Asquith with a machete. Asquith's skin was then converted into a suit by Jocrassa Fel-Fotch Passameer Day Slitheen. With Jocrassa as Asquith, Maniels had control of the British Military.

## Aftermath

The word of General Asquith's death; spreads quickly to The Shadow Reader who rationalises that with the British Military under his control: Maniels is unstoppable. From that point on; with General Asquith now being impersonated by Jocrassa Fel-Fotch; Asquith begins to publicly indorse Rabe Maniels and Johnny Buggerton; even providing military funding and equipment for the construction of their freeway. Sergeant Dunne begins to question his commander's sudden change of behaviour but is killed by Maniels before he can get more information. Following Johnny Buggerton's death; Jocrassa becomes Rabe's right-hand man and advises Maniels to keep on attacking The Lost Episode Resistance while Buggerton had tried to advise Maniels on forgetting about the damn Resistance. Months after Asquith's death, Jocrassa still impersonating the general arrives at the London River Tunnels in order to confront the Resistance for killing the rest of the Slitheen Family. Jocrassa then reveals himself to Lieutenant General Sanchez and his platoon of soldiers before giving chase to the Resistance. Jocrassa is killed after getting drowned in the flood avenging Asquith's death in the process.

## Trivia

* Despite getting killed in The Death of Mr Potato; General Asquith continues to appear in Oliver Charles' funnypastas as a recurring character.
* General Asquith was the identical twin brother of Richard Asquith.
* Ironically both brothers were killed after unknowingly getting involved with Rabe Maniels and his schemes.
* In GTA III Bootleg Copy; Asquith reveals he rides in a car shaped like a pea nicknamed the Asquith Mobile.
* The car was a Christmas present from his mother.
* In the Rabe Maniels Arc funnypastas: Asquith is portrayed as a good guy who wishes to clean the world of lost media and stop Rabe Maniels. While in the other stories not set in the Arc, Asquith is often portrayed (with the exception of GTA III Bootleg Copy) as an antagonist. He also seems to be corrupt as he hires common thugs to act as soldiers. Asquith also seems to act as the overall general of the entire world army rather than just the British Armed Forces like in the Rabe Maniels Arc.
* It is implied in GTA III Bootleg Copy; that Asquith may be homosexual or at the very least bisexual.
* He never mentions his brother Richard in any of the stories he appears in.
* It is unclear what kind of relationship Asquith had with his twin brother as he never mentions him. It is possible that Asquith develops such an immense hatred for Maniels because he found out that Maniels was responsible for Richard's death but it is never made entirely clear.
* Asquith's first name (aside from the starting letter) has not yet been revealed.
* Ironically, both Asquith and his brother's first names start with the letter R.
* He is very similar to his brother in the sense he detests lost media and corruption and both were swiftly taken out by Rabe Maniels.
* His arch nemesis is General W.R Monger.
* General Asquith is considered one of the main funnypasta trio alongside Colonel Dodo and Richard Fatchurd.
* He resides in a large house in Kensington, but also has several other addresses across Great Britain.
* His favourite song is Crystal Blue Persuasion.
* He appears to be attracted to Joseph Green.

## Gallery

General Asquith after witnessing the bootlegGeneral Asquith mere moments before he is killedAsquith and Joseph GreenAsquith and Green chiling in the elevatorAsquith's Bro RichardAsquith Outside His Uniform