Osbourne Neighbour War

"*I try and be a nice neighbor but it gets personal, if they wanna fuck with me then they're fucking with the wrong person because I'll start throwing dead animals over the fucking thing. I don't give a fuck I-I-I'll throw pig guts and things over there. Alright starting tonight war is on!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

**The Osbourne Neighbour War** was an event that took place during Series 1 of The Osbournes. The event was the primary focus of the episode Won't you be my Neighbor and featured a majority of the Osbourne family members against the next door neighbours, one of the individuals was identified as Owen Paul.

## Individuals involved

### Osbourne Household

* Sharon Osbourne Leader/instigator
* Jack Osbourne Instigator
* Aimée Osbourne Assailant
* Ozzy Osbourne Assailant
* Jason Dill Assailant

### Paul Household

* Owen Paul Leader/instigator
* Owen Paul's family
* Owen Paul's friends

## Build up

Sometime during and/or the December of 2001 period, Owen Paul decided to celebrate the new year with family and friends. However, during this time of celebration the friends and family began playing techno music loudly over the course of multiple nights (which Owen claims was because he was working on "new" material). This began to annoy the Osbourne family members, particularly Sharon, after the family were kept up at night by the noisy neighbours. Tensions flared one night with Sharon, Jack and Sarah opening a window and shouting explicatives towards the neighbours, with Sharon preparing to talk to the neighbours the next day.

## First Confrontation

"*Darling the wicked witch has nothing on me! You're already living next to the neighbors from Hell! C'mon big boy! Come here! C'mon cocky little Englishman! Come over here little rich boy! Living off mommy and daddy's money, do you?!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

Eventually, Sharon had enough and one night confronted the neighbours through the hedge/fence. At first Sharon asked politely to shut off the music they were playing loudly. However, they refused and began mocking Sharon, to which she retaliated by calling them "cocky" and egging them to come over and visit. The Paul household soon made threats against Ozzy and Sharon which only lead to Sharon egging them further and saying for them to come over the next day for "tea and biscuits" and jokingly claimed they were religious an needed to go to church in the morning. The Paul household claimed that they would visit, only for this to never happen.

## Battle of the Neighbours

"*I'm trying to get some fucking sleep but I can't get any because you're singing the "Whole world in my" fucking hand!*"
— Jack Osbourne

The day of the neighbour wars, the Osbournes collected stale, gone off food, which included the Christmas ham (which was featured in A Very Ozzy Christmas) to throw at the neighbours, Ozzy even had a pig's head prepared. Kelly Osbourne wanted no part in the oncoming battle, instead believed they should call the police and not start a fight.

"*You don't get it?! Doing this is just gonna provoke them!*"
— Kelly Osbourne

As night came, the neighbours ended up, mockingly, singing "The Whole World is in his Hands" poorly. Jack was the first to hear this and told his mother. As Sharon listened to the neighbours poor singing, Jack went to the speakers to play Meshuggah loudly with all doors and windows open, to Sharon's approval. Whilst this did no stop the neighbours it did wake up Ozzy and Kelly, Ozzy joined his wife and son in harassing the neighbours while Kelly erupted in anger wanting them to just call the police instead as she wanted to sleep. Jack and presumably either Aimee or Sharon told Kelly to go to bed anyways and ignore them.

"*This is a picture of his wife's cunt. (Laughter) A statue, a hand cut artefact!*"
— Sharon with ham

The first item thrown was the Christmas ham which was pelted over by Sharon, which put a stop to the neighbours singing. By this point Aimee, Jack and Ozzy as well as Dill helped throw fruit, bread, cheeses and even stink bombs over the hedge/fence. Kelly continued to protest and argued they should just call lawyers or the police. She was ignored as Aimee started to over hear the conversations between the neighbours, where they called Sharon a "crazy whore".

"*They were telling mum and dad, they said you were a crazy whore.*"
— Aimee Osbourne

"*They're right with that one!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

At some point Ozzy went back inside as the neighbours phoned the police. Fearful, Jack, Dill and Aimee ran away up the stairs while Sharon dealt with the police. Kelly also came down and stuck up for her family over what was happening, pinning the blame on the neighbours and arguing that the police hadn't done anything as of yet. The police gave a warning, but admitted they were "powerless" in the situation.

"*You want me to sing a lullaby? FUCK YOU!*"
— Jack Osbourne

After the police visit, Jack, Aimee and Dill attempted to negotiate with the neighbours, but in doing so are told to just "go to bed" and then mockingly told that they will be sung a lullaby. This breakdown causes Jack to continue the assault with the neighbours by "giving them a lullaby" of his own, which was more loud heavy metal music.

"*AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ozzy stop! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ozzy! Ozzy! Ozzy! No,no,no,no! Here! Here's the fruit! OZZY NOT WOOD! YOU COULD BE DONE FOR MANSLAUGHTER! He's going to the side of the house! OZZY!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

Eventually, Ozzy came back, this time grabbing a wooden log used for fire. Sharon laughed at the matter as Jack and Dill were still throwing smaller item. Sharon's laughter became panic as Ozzy waddled over to the neighbours house with the log, whilst she attempted to sway him away from causing harm with fruit. However, it was too late, Ozzy threw the log through a window and smashed a coffee table within. This caused the police to return at some point but no further action taken.

## Aftermath

Despite what had happened, both parties in the "battle" eventually became good friends, with Owen Paul even buying Sharon a gift.

## References

1. ↑ http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/ozzy-osbourne-s-mystery-neighbor-revealed/