Shakin Turds Out Your Pant Leg

"*You know, for when you just got to watch a poop video to remind yourself that everyone has bad days.*"
―Erik
Shakin Turds Out Your Pant Leg is the 85th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on August 22, 2018.

## Summary

Erik explains that shakin turds out your pant leg is a thing and watches a video of a man in a subway in China doing it.

Erik gives a shoutout to the lesson's sponsor, Fred. He watches a video of a kid pooping in a store and shaking it out of his pant leg. Then some guy steps in it. Then he watches the kid as a grown up pooping again. He also watches a compilation made by an amateur news channel. Then the comments under that video start to get racist to Erik leaves a comment of his own. He watches one more video and goes crazy with a comment.

Erik goes over to Liveleak and finds a woman that takes a shit in the middle of a fight. This doesn't meet Erik's standards, so he goes back to YouTube. He watches people shit at the grocery store, and then he decides to check out some news articles. He uses the Facebook account Alexjones Infowars to comment on them. Then he watches a video that says it has poop, but it's just a girl pretending she's farting. Erik finds an entire channel called It's About Fart & Pooping Girl but it's just a bunch of fart videos.

For the final video, he watches another video of someone pooping in a store and leaves his dissertation on the subject.

## Comments

*https://youtube.com/watch?v=RiG2FbG1SKg @tedcruz lol found your birth video*
- @commentiquette

*Pretty sure If you watch this in reverse it looks like an alien's attacking the kid. Man I wish they
offered the internet when I was little, there'd be so many viral videos of me dumping bombs
out the bottom of my pants that they'd have to execute my asshole. Sometimes I would
pretend like I had to go to the bathroom in school and leave a trail of turd breadcrumbs leading
straight to faculty lunchroom. Everybody blamed my math teacher so he killed himself*
- Erik

*Please tell me you didn't throw the turd out because that man was a poop leprechaun. They drop turds
out their pant legs that are filled with gold coins. He'll show up again in 3 weeks for round 2 don't
offer him anything or talk to him, just let him shake a fat one out the bottom of his tracksuit
pants and then sort through it later for unimaginable riches.
sincerely,
i'm not the guy who did this
edit: actually he'll be there tomorrow*
- Erik

*Wow this comment section is such shit that I could swear I shook it out my pant leg in the freezer aisle of my local kroger. I know it feels cool to take a shit on another country for taking shits on the ground like your own floor shits don't stink, but unless you dumb bitches are commenting from a country where everybody gets their assholes welded shut at birth you can shut the fuck up China #1*
- Erik

*Praise be unto you for this glorious poop pants video. May we always be blessed by such
opulence for years to come as people continue making bank deposits into the tongues
of their own shoes before discarding them with a simple shake. leaving them for the unfortunate
poor soul to sweep into their favorite dustbin as the grocery store she works at does not
provide equipment to their employees, a strange demotivating factor most clearly seen in
public schools as teachers have to pay out of pocket to provide their students with
fundamental resources necessary to the furtherment of their education. Why can’t we
utilize our budgets to make sure something as important as the people educating our
children are properly funded and recognized for their selfless work? It’s common
knowledge folks, you need to make sure we grow up smart or else China’s gonna fuckin
slaughter us*
- Erik

*HEY THIS IS ME IN THE VIDEO, DELETE THIS RIGHT NOW. YOU THIEVES STOLE THIS FROM
MY LIVELEAK CHANNEL WHERE I SHAKE TURDS OUT OF MY PANTS AND THEN DIE IN
VENEZUELAN TILT A WHIRL ACCIDENTS EVERY WEEK*
- Erik

*Oh please whats with the headline for 5 year olds ??? I think most people would understand the word Defecates and excrement !*
- SteveHatton

*Hey idiot I'll pay you to take a dump on my cat*
- Alexjones Infowars

*FUCK YOU THESE ARE JUST FARTS YOU FUCKING FRAUD*
- Erik

*Sometimes I wonder why it's so funny to see a grown man shake a turd out of his pants and kick it away like nobody's gonna find it later. It's such a simple thing yet the layers of complexity, which marry themselves to what is ultimately a ten second experience of voyeurism, must be appreciated for the sum of their parts. Firstly we have a man who has pooped in his pants, arguably funny in and of itself, with all the implied panic that requires split second decision making. Ever gallant our hero, he decides that no turd will slow him down on his trip to pick up groceries and so, like a friend who never texts back, he leaves it behind.**Does he think it's funny while he does it? Surely not, as what we see here is man as a beast, frustrated suddenly by human civilization and the constructs of shame. But there is no shame as he lets that log roll from his slacks with the slightest of shakes to introduce it to the world. He makes his escape knowing full well that someone is going to pick up his poop and throw it away. He hopes they'll be kind. He hopes they'll understand. What he never considered were the security cameras that are pointed literally fucking everywhere in the store, meant to catch shoplifters but now co-opted to bear witness to his mini mart poop crime, and that what he just shook out of his pants was the funniest story the store employees have had fall in their laps for years, thus the compulsion to put livelihoods at risk in order to make a vertical cell phone video of the culprit.**And for us now, the viewers. The joy comes from the audacity of a man who would rather shake a turd from his pants in silence than ask for the key to the bathroom. In the span of ten seconds we dissect not the man, but his actions, and in such a bite sized video we experience a robust spectrum of emotions: namely disgust and relief. We relish in the embarrassment while disguising it in our own minds as some view into an alien world, ignoring what we always knew existed within ourselves. We laugh because we poop too. We poop everywhere, and when we poop somewhere funny it creates a page in the book of our lives that lasts forever, dog-eared from decades of drunken retellings only to be passed along among other stories of how we said “fuck you” to decency. In summation, shaking turds out your pants is the oldest, purest form of rebellion and we should all shake a turd out our pants tonight in honor of our ancestors who popped fat shits as jokes before the invention of television to make sure we’d keep that flame alive.**PS: The bomb has been planted lol*
- Erik

## Context

1. ↑ This is a reference to an argument that he had in playerunknowns battlegrounds in the lesson Things You're Doing Wrong.

## Video

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