Crack-Up

Written by
 Previous

## Briefing

After Jon is injured in a chase the driver declares war on the police for wrecking his firebird. Ponch gets a new partner.

## Traffic Violations

* Drag racers - Escaped.
* Speeding car/Kidnap - Apprehended.
* Speeding Tow Truck - Escaped.
* Speeding blue car - Escaped.
* Speeding Tow Truck - Apprehended.

## Report

Jon believes Ponch owes him $20. Ponch can't remember borrowing it. Jon remembers he leant him the money but can't remember when and what for but when he remembers he'll remind him.

Two friends, Niles and Ray, decide to race and attract the attention of Jon and Ponch.

Ponch chases after the blue car and Jon chases after the bronze t-bird when they separate. The bronze car turns a corner and immediately stops. Jon comes round the corner at speed and the car quickly reverses so his car is blocking the street. Unable to react, Jon hits the car head on and flies over the hood of the car, and rolls on the street. Ponch stops chasing his car and goes to check on Jon.

Niles can't move his car because Jon damaged the panel he struck. The driver abandons his car just as Ponch arrives. Ponch goes to Jon and rolls him over, Jon is clearly in pain.

Back at Central a call is announced that an officer is down. Getraer and Baricza head out.

At the hospital Ponch and Getraer accompany Jon to the hospital.

Niles returns to Al's Garage and sees Ray. Ray asks what happened and Niles tells him he had to ditch the car. Worried about the cops, Niles tells Ray he reported the car stolen and as long as they stick to their stories they'll be okay. Niles declares war on the police for wrecking his car.

Back at the hospital, Ponch and Getraer wait for news on Jon. Baricza brings a report to Getraer that confirms the t-bird was reported stolen half an hour after Jon hit it. Baricza tells him their alibi's check out.

The doctor tells them that Jon is as well as can be expected. They ask how Jon is, and Jon tells them that he's fine. Baricza has to leave. Getraer asks what Jon's condition is, and the doctor tells him he's perfectly stable. Jon tries to get up but it hurts too much, Jon tells everyone that he can rest at home. Getraer tells him he's better off at the hospital. Jon snaps at him and then tells the doctor he'd know if he was hurt. The doctor tells him there could be internal injuries and they need to keep an observation on him. Jon tells them it only hurts when he laughs, the doctor tells him not to laugh. Getraer asks Jon if he can remember what the driver looked like, Jon can't remember. Getraer tells Jon they have to go and Ponch tells Jon he'll see him after work. Jon tells them there's nothing wrong with him and gets out of bed, he takes a step and starts to fall, Ponch and Jon run to him and call the doctor. The doctor runs in and Jon tells him he just stood up too quickly. The doctor tells Ponch and Getraer to leave now. Ponch tells Jon if there's anything he wants anything that doesn't cost over a buck and a half to let him know. Jon tells him he owes him 20. Jon tells Ponch he's going to be out there on his own and tells him not to do anything, Ponch finishes his sentence for him and ends with dumb.

Ponch tells Getraer he rides alone for a change. Getraer tells him there's a change but he doesn't ride alone and tells him to mount up. Ponch realises he means him. Ponch tells Getraer that with Jon and him it's automantic, he knows what Jon is thinking. Getraer tells Ponch they'll get used to each other. They ride out, as they turn in to traffic, Getraer turns right and Ponch turns left. Getraer stops and looks at Ponch, Ponch stops and turns around to join Getraer.

A woman comes into Jon's room and introduces herself as Wanda Lang, Jon tells her his name. She tells him she saw him being brought in. Wanda asks Jon if he's here for the strippers delight, Jon wonders what she's talking about, she tells him he's in here for observation. She tells him she's here with her husband, Jon asks if she was in an accident as well. Wanda asks if Jon wants to be cranked up, Jon doesn't know what she means. Wanda mentions the bed and tells him he'll be more comfortable and presses a button resulting the the bed tilting slightly. Wanda wonders why Jon's all alone and wonders if people might think there's a health epidemic, Jon starts to laugh but it hurts too much. Wanda becomes concerned and asks Jon is he really is worried about himself. He tells Wanda he just has a phobia of hospitals. Wanda keeps making Jon laugh. Wanda goes to leave and Jon tells her he's not as worried as he was. Wanda tells him laughter is the best medicine of all, after penicillin.

Niles goes out to get burgers and takes the tow truck out.

Grossie is on patrol. Niles spots him on his bike and releases the chain on his truck and leaves it trailing, he speeds past Grossie who chases after him. Niles makes a sharp turn and Grossie misses it so he has to turn around. Grossie looks for the tow truck but can't find it however there's a dust trail down a side street so he goes down to have a look. Niles has turned his truck around and speeds towards Grossie, then he swerves away from him causing the chain to whip round and hit Grossie across the chest. Grossie falls off his bike and rolls on the ground holding his chest.

At the hospital Grossie is brought into Jon's room. Jon asks what happened, Ponch tells him he was sandbagged by a tow truck. Ponch goes to speak to Jon but is shooed out by the doctor. Jon speaks to Grossie but he's just lying there, Jon calls to him again. Grossie finally speaks to Jon. Jon is glad of the company.

Ponch finds it fishy that there's two hit and runs and two officers down and no witnesses. Getraer agrees. They ride out again, this time Ponch turns right and Getraer turns left.

Wanda comes to visit, and Jon introduces Wanda to Grossie. As usual Wanda makes the pair laugh. The nurse comes in and notices Grossie isn't eating, Grossie tells her loss of appetite is not abnormal under the circumstances. She asks Grossie if he'd like rub down and he tells her it would help. She leaves and calls in Hugo. He's broad as he is tall.

A father takes his children away from their mother and drives off. He crashes the car reversing out onto the street and drives off at speed. He weaves in and out of traffic and when he merges with traffic he's spotted by Getraer and Ponch. Getraer radios it in. The children are scared and ask their father to stop. Ponch radio's Getraer to tell him he's going to ride at the front of the car to slow him down, Getraer tells him not to. Ponch tells Getraer to come up beside the car to prevent him from turning. Getraer refuses to and Ponch tells him he needs assistance and again tells him to ride beside the car. Eventually the car stops. Ponch goes over to the driver and the man tells him he's never done that before. Getraer tells the kids to get out of the car. Baricza arrives with the mother and she's reunited with her children. Getraer wants to speak to Ponch and chews him out for not following procedure.

Back at the hospital Jon is being hypnotised, he remembers talking to Ponch about a loan. Ponch interrupts the session by saying hi. Jon tells Ponch exactly how he paid Ponch the $20. Grossie is asleep in his bed, the doctor snaps his fingers and Grossie wakes up.

Jon is getting stir crazy and want to get out of hospital, Ponch asks him if there's anything he can get him. Jon tells him a uniform and a motor.

At briefing, Getraer is going over the unprovoked attacks against them and believes it's the same guy who drove the tow truck and the firebird.

Jon asks about the Langs since he's not seen Wanda all day. The nurse tells him that her husband hit a crisis and she's been with him all night. Wanda peeks in to the room and is spotted by Jon. Wanda starts telling jokes but there's no laughter, Jon tells her they know about her husband. Wanda sits on Jon's bed and hugs Jon. Wanda starts crying and tells Jon she's scared. Jon tries to perk up Wanda by telling her she should go back to work. There's plenty of people who've not heard her jokes and tells her he knows a lot of people who would want to see her. Wanda tries out a couple of jokes on the pair and they start laughing.

Ray asks Niles to get some parts and Niles asks for the keys to his car. Ray hands them over and tells him not to hotdog it. Niles is driving on the freeway and spots Getraer and Ponch, he drives close to Ponch as he speeds past. Getraer and Ponch chase him on the same stretch of road he and Jon were on before. The car speeds round a corner and Getraer goes to follow but Ponch speeds up and cuts him off. Getraer has words with Ponch but then asks him how he knew he was being set up, Ponch tells him it was the same way Jon got dropped.

Jon is finally leaving hospital. Wanda comes to see him before he leaves.

Jon is on patrol with Ponch. A car cuts in front of a security van and it rolls over. Jon and Ponch arrive and check on the men inside. They refuse to leave the truck, due to his paranoid friend. Ponch tells him they're going to ring for a tow truck. Jon controls traffic. Baricza arrives and tells them there's a tow truck behind him. Ponch tells Baricza to see if he can get the men out of the truck since he looks more policeman like. Jon and Ponch direct traffic. Niles is in the tow truck and he spots police officers on the freeway, he puts his foot on the gas and tries to sideswipe Jon. Jon reactively moves back and recognises Niles when the tow truck passes, he tells Ponch, and chases after him. At the same spot where Grossie was sandbagged by the tow truck, Niles attempts to do the same to Jon. But since Jon knows the MO from Grossie, he drops his bike. Niles attempts to reverse the tow truck into Jon, but Jon gets up and crawls under a lorry that's parked nearby. Niles stops when he hits a metal post. Jon seizes a chance and grabs the tow hook and wraps it around the post. Niles puts his foot down to race away but as his truck is anchored the tow truck rears up before coming down again, Niles has been stunned. Jon races over to the drivers side and pulls Niles from within the truck and apprehends him. Ponch asks him if he okay and tells him it's all coming back to him. Jon tells him it is and then goes on to tell him he lent him the $20 for two tickets to the Lakers's game. Ponch remembers and Jon tells him he'll see him at payday.

Jon and Ponch return to the overturned security van and Baricza hasn't had any luck getting the men out. Getraer arrives and wonders why the mess hasn't been cleared up. Ponch tells him this is one that isn't covered by the book. Getraer gets his baton and tells everyone to follow him. Getraer taps on the windscreen to get their attention and the man inside tells him to go away. Ponch tells him maybe he should cite chapter and verse from the book. Getraer taps on the van again and the men are nonchalant. Jon and Ponch laugh under their breath.

## Notes

* When Jon falls off his bike his baton is rubber and can be seen bending when he rolls on the ground (Obviously for the stunt doubles safety).
* When Jon comes to a stop after the accident, his baton is missing from his belt loop.
* Ponch immediately moves Jon after the accident.
* When Niles drives the tow truck towards the flipped over security van and speeds up, stock footage of Niles in the bronze firebird is used instead of him in the tow truck. It's unsure if this is just meant to be a flashback on Jon's behalf to remember Niles, but there's no quick cutback to Jon if this is the case.
* Phyllis Diller was a famous comedian of her day, she had her own show and made guest appearances on numerous shows and voice over work towards the end of her career.
* When Jon ties the tow hook to the post and the tow truck rears up, the lorry that Jon hid under is seen moving with the truck.
* On both occasions where Niles is sandbagging officers in the tow truck, members of the public are seen in both shots. When Grossie is taken down, there's a man in a cap watching from a chain fence, and when Niles attempts to sandbag Jon there's someone behind the slide door in a blue overall.

### Quotes

* Grossman: It's a jungle out there pal.

* Grossie/[Jon]: You sense any hostility towards Getraer? [Getraer? Why?] He's assumed your relationship with Ponch. You must feel some resentment? [Hey, why don't you just shut up?] Redirected hostility.

## Cast

### Main Cast

* Larry Wilcox: Jon Baker
* Erik Estrada: Frank Poncherello
* Robert Pine: Joe Getraer

### Recurring

* Brodie Greer: Baricza
* Paul Linke: Grossman

### Others

* Phyllis Diller: Wanda (Lang)
* Joey Aresco: Niles
* Gary Sandy: Ray
* Huntz Hall: Driver
* Harry Rhodes: Father
* Marc Lawrence: Co-Driver
* Phillip Pine: Dr Ansgar
* Danny Goldman: Doctor Bosca
* Linda Thompson: Chrissy
* Pamela Sye: Little Girl
* Robin Braxton: Mother