Chapter 89: I'm Overflowing

**I'm Overflowing** is the eighty-ninth Chapter of *Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu*.

## Summary

After a short recap, we see Yamada's reaction to Ichikawa yelling out that she is for him. He realizes she is behind him and turns around in shock, and tries poorly to play it off as him saying that "Yamada is mi...ghty into curry," but as Hara and Kanzaki walk off whispering, he realizes that he is inferior to Kanzaki, who is upfront about his affections. Kanzaki then approaches him and apologizes, not realizing it was like that with him and Yamada. Ichikawa says that it probably makes him laugh, because of how out of her league he is. Surprisingly to Ichikawa, Kanzaki praises him for his speech at the school and says he has his own identity, and says he might even be a good match for Yamada. Ichikawa is surprised by his bluntness, but mumbles through asking him why he hasn't confessed to Hara. Kanzaki says that he has been, but she never takes his confessions seriously, but that he hopes that what they have could develop into something real. As they approach Hara, they suddenly realize that Yamada is missing. Ichikawa recommends a series of restaurants (a crepe shop, McDonalds, or kebab shop), and despite him offering to send her a message, Hara and Kanzaki run off in a direction to look for her. Suddenly Yamada grabs him by the arm and leads him away, with him complaining that their plan wasn't very smooth.

Now alone, Yamada comments that even though you're together all of the time, you'll always want to be alone with them, clarifying that she is talking about Hara and Kanzaki when he gives her a look. She asks him what he's doing after this, and he awkwardly offers that he'll go home, abandoning his plan to give her anything after the events of the day. On the train home, he considers how he's always comparing himself to others, getting jealous and self-deprecating, apologizing to no one for being the kind of person that he is. He gets pinned to the doors by the crowd, and takes great care to protect his bag, which Yamada catches on to, shielding him by placing herself between the others. She asks if something important is inside, and he confirms, but questions it himself. He considers throwing it away later, but she asks if he'll sit and chat with her for a while. They sit on the same bench she gave him the cupcake at, while she checks her phone, saying that Hara and Kanzaki are at a net cafe. As he responds, he considers how she's given it her all, while she talks about how she prefers the atmosphere where they are at now. He considers how he's just been using his shortcomings as an excuse, and how he's been acting like an idiot. He resolves to only think of her, and pulls a muffin out of the his bag. Yamada's expression brightens up at seeing it, and he goes through his earlier excuses, but she remains excited even as he tries to downplay it as something disappointing. He begins explaining how she's probably full and she should probably take it home, but realizes she is already placing the whole thing in her mouth, and quickly jumps up to stop her, forgetting how she acts around food. He requests that she take small bites, and she does so, calling it yummy, and eventually discovering a small plastic packet inside. She pulls out a bracelet and looks at it, as he bolts up to run away out of embarrassment. She chases him down, however, and asks him to put the bracelet onto her arm, which he does. When she asks how it looks, he reacts with stunned silence for a few moments, before saying it is "so cute I could die." He tries desperately to confess his feelings to her, saying it over and over again in his head, but remains unable to say anything except incoherent mumbling. Yamada becomes teary-eyed at his proclamation, and tries to play it off, saying she doesn't know why she's acting this way. He realizes that these tears are different from her frustrated ones from last time, and how they've taken a few important steps forward. As they talk about the bracelet, and the bone charm connected to it, he concludes that this is the atmosphere for them.