Betsy Sodaro, Our Close Friend

**"Betsy Sodaro, Our Close Friend"** is the sixty-ninth episode of Hollywood Handbook.

Official Earwolf Page

## Earwolf Synopsis

After exploring why the media is scared of using terms related to the show, the boys dig into another installment of “The Write Stuff,” reading a scene from a movie Casablanca. Then Betsy Sodaro, a fellow member of LA Weekly’s Best People of LA Class of 2014, arrives to share stories from the ceremony and issue hot takes on Deflategate and offensive awards show routines. There is a Popcorn Gallery as well.

## Notes & Memorable Quotes

### Pre-Guest Segment

* Sean over the theme: "So, finally I decide: OK, he's had enough. And he deserves it cause, all those 'Howie Does It' episodes, he's prankin everybody else. So I've got him now, I've got him on a string and I just go like 'OK Howie.. Mandel,' I go.. 'J.K.' n' he's like 'Ooh you got me!' but then tap on my shoulder, it's J.K. Simmons, he goes 'I thought I told ya to keep my name out your mouth!' And I go 'Oh noo J.K. Simmons don't beat me up!' and he goes 'Now, I'm J.K..... Simmons.'" "Cause you see him in that little shirt, he's very uh, he has very big muscles.." "His arms are big and his shirt's small! And that combination can be terrifying, visually!" Hayes prompts Sean to tell him what the original prank was that set this whole story in motion: Sean had a loaded gun in his mouth. Loaded with hot sauce!! A nice prank, ultimately. Because he's eatin' tacos. It was Tapatio! Sean likes Cholula, but unfortunately the place they were at didn't have it.
* Sean does a very drawn out 'What up, what up.' They are going to keep saying it whether people online want them to or not! Hayes notices that when people cover this controversy online, they don't actually mention this phrase. They don't want to beckon the ire! They just call it "That thing they've been saying at the top of the show." Actually using the "w" word is straight up beckoning the ire!
* Brian Williams needs to go ahead and grow a ... maybe he's had Tom Brady snooping around his balls, cause they're deflated! Brian Williams is a guy who drew a Mohammed cartoon on the air, but now won't say "What up what up?" cause he's worried what will happen to him.
* Hayes demonstrates that the microphones they use in the studio are American by roughly tapping on them, upsetting Engineer Brett. Sean chastises Hayes for touching them, and Brett thanks Sean for looking out for him... BUT SEAN WAS FUCKING WITH HIM.
* Hayes and Sean have Brett wear American clothes. One time he came in wearing Uniqlo and they stripped him down in the hallway. The thing about American Apparel is they're not PC, but they have good ethics. Not being PC, just means 'In your face'-- Sean thinks he knows a couple of guys who can relate to that (Hayes and him). American Apparel is not afraid to beckon the ire of the public, and this is exactly what Sean is about
* The boys do a read-through on the opening scene in *Casblanca* and start with having Engineer Brett making the sound for starting the selection machine. Lots of great stuff, also great line about making fun of people just repeating lines from podcasts.

### Guest Segment

* Hayes over the theme: "So, you know, I look at Travie.. McCoy, and I like nod, I'm like 'Go ahead, go. Do it. And he gets pretty high in the air, but as he starts to get in like backflip motion in the air, he doesn't like get all the way, and so, you can see at mid-air he's like thinking about stopping. You actually have to have started the motion before you even get in the air." "Mentally, you have to have started the motion, that's the secret!" "And so, he does get like 180 in the air, but he kind of lands on his .. chest. And he's got the wind knocked out of him. If you can't do a standing backflip, then you're not a Gym Class Hero. Why would you call yourself that if you can't do a standing backflip."
* The boys invited Betsy on the show because LA Weekly named the three of them Best Favorite People of 2014. LA is the cultural center of the world, so really it's the best most interesting people of the world. They speculate on how many people also joined them on the list. Swaggy P was in there.. there's a chance it was 70-80 people. Anthony Hopkins was not in there. He went on twitter and made his own article, saying "I'm fine with this." Saying "First is the worst, Hopkins is the best. LA Weekly told ya all the rest" Sean thinks this is a bit of sour grapes.
* Sean: "'Grape ape grape ape,' remember that cartoon!?" What do you think was really in those Scooby Snacks!? Betsy likes how simple these cartoons are. Why does Gargamel hate the Smurfs, is he on shrooms!? And kids were watchin em! Maybe this is why Sean's so twisted.
* Sean: "Jabberjaw!"
* Betsy discusses her means of fighting off men who want to demean her by helping her get out of a car.
* They discuss receiving the scepter for their LA Weekly acclaim. Betsy was handed the scepter by the Apparently kid. Hayes got his from Emmett Smith, which Sean doesn't think of as Los Angeles but he is! Sean got his form Sherry Stringfield, a nurse from ER. Not many of these people had much to do in 2013, kind of a slow year for LA.
* Deflategate! Betsy has a really hot take on the subject. They knew when they brought Betsy in that she wouldn't pull her punches. They're used to it though, they've had three bold women in a row! Although, they don't really think of it that way. They just go: "Who's a great guest? Who freaks my bean, in turns of just like really juicin' me up? And I go, is that grody?"
* Sean has never heard of the term 'comedienne.' Betsy prefers just 'comedian.' Betsy's internal monologue 'Huh.. I didn't know I was gonna have to do a test!"
* Hayes brings up Betsy's keychain of baby Marge. They're both a little upset it's not Bart. She got it at a funny store. Betsy proposes a Pixar movie about personified keys. *Key Party: Off the Chain*.
* The boys discuss how key parties have really gone downhill. The Tesla keys say Tesla on them, you know what you're going to get.
* While Hayes gets the Popcorn Gallery theme queued up, Hayes suggests they play a long game. Sean asks Brett to list some of the Comedy Bang Bang games: Riddle Me This (they've done it), Freestyle Rap. They ask more about this, and really consider it. They try it
* Jon Hamm goes on so many comedy podcasts in order to look cool. *Mad Men* is such a funny show!
* Hayes and Sean have a little disagreement when Hayes says 'Let's reach into the bag' hoping to prompt moving on with the show, but Sean keeps riffing on *The Wedding Ringer*
* When Betsy does a role, she's playing like she's trying to bust out of the phone on set. "That's Brisk baby!" everyone decides this is a good reference too.
* Betsy assures the world that it's ok to like something again. It's not like middle school, where she had to give up liking pizza to look cool. Everyone was throwing pot roast parties back then. That's where she touched her first dick! ..... Brett admits that he first got his dick touched.. in middle school. They realize there may be a coincidence going on here. Neither quite remembers, Brett says he more remembers the feel of it.

## Recurring Segments

* The Right Stuff which is a play on what it could be called, The Write Stuff. It's about writing stuff!
	+ Stuff crosses the boys' desk, do you remember Dilberts desk? It was always covered in papers. And his boss was always stacking up more papers! His boss had this hair, they don't have to get into it, it looks like dog doo sticking into his ears. Sometimes, Dilbert would get everything out of his inbox into his outbox, and then his boss would come in and just switch the labels! Hayes then questions whether this actually was a Dilbert comic or not, put it's certainly a potential Dilbert concept, like they've always talked about: when you're talking about office scenarios, does it have DP (Dilbert Potential). The stuff they get across their desk is like from the trash. Occasionally it is a list of ingredients or something, and it is a Snickers wrapper.
	+ Hayes wants to read some of these scripts they get in, so they wanted to read some scenes from some old classics. To see if they want to do this again, or if it was a mistake and if it should be popular.
	+ They want to do *Casablanca*, they have picked out some selections from this. They need to fire up the:
* Scene Machine
	+ They forgot to turn it on last night. They ask Engineer Brett to turn it on, and he says it's on.. that's not how it sounds. He needs to hit the button that makes the whole series of sounds. Then the noises are just Brett's keys.
	+ As Brett prepares to turn on the machine, he says "It's been a while" causing Sean to demand he doesn't reference other shows. This makes Hayes so ill.
	+ Brett starts the process: one can hear the machine started to be plugged in. Then Brett pauses to take a drink of water. Then Engineer Sam arrives on his motorcycle, maybe he can show him the machine! Engineer Sam is going to really turn it on for real. Sam starts whistling as he finds Brett very attractive. Then finally a few beeps indicate that the machine is finally one.
	+ Sean: "It took a whiiiile." That's what people like. They like to do it themselves, they like to write it down. *That* is satisfying. Writing down an auditory joke that.. and Sean is using the word joke so generously right now.. it is a reference.
	+ They start digging into the scene. Hayes reads the stage directions, which mentions that the house lights are off. It's dark!? What, is Sean supposed to put the lens cap back on the camera to shoot this one?? It must be total darkness!?
	+ Rick sits alone at the table, and there is a glass of bourbon in front of him and another before an empty chair... but it's totally dark in there. They don't need to put any of this in there!
	+ Plus his bourbon? He's going to be making a P-U face, reacting as it burns his gullet. That stuff's strong! If he drinks it and is expressionless, they're going to think it's Diet Coke. And even that hurts a little! Or, Sean might think this guy might be an android machine.
	+ Casablanca.. That's 'house white,' this guy must be the president. Sean doesn't want to see this guy sittin in the dark drinking a whole glass of bourbon, this guy's got his finger on the button, drunk in the dark!? No thanks. And he owns a Cafe?! No, he should be running to country! God almighty. Great golly Ms. Molly.
	+ "A beacon of light from the airport sweeps around the room, creating a scene of unreality." Now we're makin' up words!? Unreality? Airport? Great googly moogly.
	+ "Sam comes in, and stands hesitantly next to Rick." Engineer Sam? This causes Sean to request Sam's motorcycle noise from early, and Brett quickly complies.
	+ They start to converse. This leads to discussions of the proper amount of time to sleep. And going to therapy.
	+ Sam and Rick discuss in depth that Rick doesn't plan on going to bed. This really reinforces the idea that he might be a mechanical man, and runs on gasoline
	+ Sam says "Please boss, let's go, ain't nothin but trouble for you here." He's the president! What kind of trouble could he get in? Is Gorbachev going to kick in that door?!
	+ Hayes was barely born when this came out. Sean was born but was mostly talking to the goose in the barn, he grew up a farm orphan.
* Freestyle Rap Battle
	+ They try and discuss who will go first. They worry everyone will go at the same time, but also don't want to decide who will go first. Plus Betsy is afraid to look or sound dumb. That is death in this industry.
	+ Hayes suggests Brett go first in order to show them all how it's done. And look less queasy before he does it.
	+ Brett indeed goes first: "My name is Engineer Brett, I'm here to say, I'm engineering.. in a major way." (Scott always starts that way) He starts again: "My name is Engineer Brett, and I'm here to say.. I'm ready to engineer this.. Hollywood Hand-b'"
	+ Sean and Hayes and Betsy do their verse all at the same time. It sounds really great!
* Popcorn Gallery
	1. Spunky Foonerism - "Spuds MacKenzie. Where's the Beef? Crying Native American man. What do these sentences have in common? They're all references, and you're already laughing. Betsy, we as aspiring comedians want to know: what is the funniest reference?"
		+ 9/11, because everyone knows about it. You're not losing everyone. It's not about the content of reference, it's the q score. Hayes's number one is being a baby. Sean's is eggs or dogs. Even if they don't eat eggs, they've seen em. They decide to combine em: Eggs, Dogs, Bein a Baby, 9/11: now that's a hit show! Maybe dogs eating eggs off a baby's stomach the morning of 9/11, that's the opening to your pilot or whatever? Or an egg, a dog, and a 9/11 stuck in an elevator.
	2. Rygel - "Ms. Sodaro, *Monsters University*? Why would you .. teach them?"
		+ Betsy explains that in this world they need... monst... But then Betsy *freaks*!! Sean and Hayes try really hard to calm her down, she frantically puts her whole hand in her mouth. What was scary was what was in her hand. She was thinking about monsters. Specifically... a monster dressed like a bride! A bridezilla. A giant lizard who's dressed like a bride. Sean suggests "Bridezilla of Frankingstein."
	3. Spunky Foonerism - "Dear Betsy, some people feel that sound engineers are dumb and bad. Can you speak on that?"
		+ Without 'im, this wouldn't be a thing! Hayes describes their switching places with Brett in Ep. 051 - Gil Ozeri, Our Close Friend. They admit that it looks like a poorly constructed set from a high school play. It's a cardboard box that says 'sound' on it, levers that are frozen in place, and a plus and a minus that are in the wrong areas.
	4. RanRan - "Betsy, what's your favorite Buzzfeed quiz and what result did you get?"
		+ Betsy doesn't do those, but her favorite ones are anything having to do with food. What kind of food are you? She's pizza! A cool question to use a nice reference would be "Does a Ninja Turtle eat you?"
* Pro Version - Marshall Mellow - Betsy desribes what she's feelin while touching Brett. She feels the shaft of the dick, and it's normal.

## Recurring Jokes

* Too Scary - J.K. Simmons's combination of big muscles and small shirt makes for a terrifying combination. Sean is also scared of the people online who don't like his saying "Whatup whatup?" at the beginning of the show. Rygel's question really prompts a harrowing discussion on monsters.
* Sean's Dad - Sean lives in his dad's basement, but these people online *really* live in their parents' basements.
* Newspaper Comics - stuff crosses the boys' desk, do you remember Dilberts desk? It was always covered in papers. And his boss was always stacking up more papers! His boss had this hair, they don't have to get into it, it looks like dog doo sticking into his ears. Sometimes, Dilbert would get everything out of his inbox into his outbox, and then his boss would come in and just switch the labels! Hayes then questions whether this actually was a Dilbert comic or not, put it's certainly a potential Dilbert concept, like they've always talked about: when you're talking about office scenarios, does it have DP (Dilbert Potential). Dilbert also gets brought up during the guest segment, including Dilbert artist Scott Adam's opinions on women
* Sean's Little Cousin - Sam from Casablanca is a lot like Sean's little cousin Sam in that he's very annoying and asks the same question a lot.
* Everyone Gets a Trophy - Sean laments that the kids of today don't get Saturday cartoons and they all have trophies
* Bussin' Up - Sean busses up at Betsy's joke about putting the key party keys in a big elaborate secret box that turned out only to have tissues in it
* Talking to the Engineer - They make Brett make noises for the scene machine, as well as ask him to list games for Betsy and Sean to play. And to old Elizabeth Taylor comedies. Brett also gets his dick felt by Betsy again, repeating their first rendezvous from middle school.
* Doing a Scene - Betsy takes us through a scene where 9/11, an egg, a baby, and a dog have to move back in with their parents. Fade in and 9/11 has just destroyed the kitchen tryin to make a cake for mom and dad's anniversary. This sounds like a good opportunity for Eggs, 9/11 wants to use Eggs, but Eggs refuses and tries to talk them out of it! And maybe Dog is like eating the cake batter before it's done. And the baby is just cryin the whole time, being a baby. It's the concept of being a baby. It's the girl on the Nerd show who's tryin to teach them: Kiley Coocoo.
* Speak on That - Betsy is asked to speak on how the networks and models are changing and how our computers will be in our phone. It's scary to think about how we'll get paid. On when Amy and Tina do a particular voice that might be seen as like blackface. On how it's ok to *like* something again.
* Mark - really outdoes himself on the final sound drop, creating an immersive world where the listener is transported to a boxing match between Amy and Tina and Betsy.
* Nerds - When Betsy admits to having a Bebop TMNT action figure, Hayes and Sean are tipped off that she may have, at one point in her life, been a nerd. She initially tries to hide it, but they make her feel safe. They think nerds is cool
* Bashing Other Podcasts - Hayes, Sean, and Betsy play the freestyle rap battle from Comedy Bang Bang and don't understand why people like that show or how it gets listens

## Ads

* Hayes annouces the first ever Hollywood Handbook Listener Ad Competition: the first competition that gives us, the listener, the opportunity to compete with other listeners to find out who has the best ad. They'll run the ad, then you can vote on which ad you like the best! There are two ways to vote: the first way is to buy another ad saying which ad you liked! They will read the vote ad on the show, and you can vote for your own ad if you already bought an ad. The second way to vote is to go into iTunes and click 5 stars, for ad voting (it doesn't count if it's not five) then you write in your review which ad you thought was the best. Then purchase an ad on the show to announce that you voted on iTunes and then your vote will be officially registered. This is to put the listeners in the driver's seat!

## Episode Photos

Hayes Davenport (Left) Betsy Sodaro (Middle) and Sean Clements (Right)Hayes, Sean, and Betsy Sodaro in the studioHayes, and Betsy Sodaro in the studioSean in the studio