Workin' Hard

*It works if you work it, so work it, you're worth it. The gang is delayed, for WORK!? While Bellow picks up a shift at the vacation factory, the girls FINALLY get some alone time. A new status quo for the Witch Hunters begins to make itself known.*

## Summary

The story opens describing a strange and immaculate manor, which is revealed to be the mind of Frederick de Bonesby. He is locked away in his magical laboratory, keeping his spells locked away from Goatse and Prolapse but unable to banish them from his mind. A strangely silent shadow of a creature is in there with him, gesturing with a hitchhiking motion. Frederick ignores it, seemingly aware but unable to unstand the entity. The goblins pester Frederick into granting them access to his basic cantrip spells.

The group travels on, discussing the recent revelations and events. Bellow is beckoned by the smell of suntan lotion and the sound of kettle drums into Danny Timeshare’s domain. The god has decided that Bellow has been doing relatively little in return for his powers and makes a deal; he will continue to grant them if Bellow goes to the nearby town of Toilton and spreads the word of vacationism to the hard-working locals.

The group arrives at the town and find that the Callstones are still standing. A Witch Hunter wagon is still stationed at the border, but they find that as a result of Pebis’ boon, they show zero interest in capturing the party and are instead caught up in an intense orgy inside their wagon. Cordelia and Albee decide to wait out of town in case anyone more alert in Toilton would recognize them.

Bellow, Stirfry and Prolapse/Frederick continue to find a gray mountain city full of overworked dwarves that are at their jobs all day long. Bellow arrives in town square where a snoring dwarf is hooked up to a pulley system that generates power based on his snoring. They are addressed by Corncob Drone, a young dwarf who ensures that nobody disturbs the “town snorer.” Bellow pitches the idea of vacations and breaks to him, and while it strikes him as a wonderful dream it would require him going through the town’s boss: Downtown Squirt, who lives in the uptown coal factory.

At the edge of town, Cordelia and Albee reminisce about old times and new feelings. Albee kisses Cordelia and she kisses her back as they try to process everything. Cordelia spots a small cottage just off in the woods and leads Albee to it, finding three chairs, three plates, and other collections of convenient threes. Cordelia calls dibs, picks up Albee and takes her inside, where they eat some of the food and have a lunch date. Cordelia invites Albee upstairs to the bedroom, but Albee insists that she shouldn’t sleep with Cordelia yet in case it hurts Bellow. Cordelia understands, but summons Cheddar to ask if they are right for each other. Cheddar laughs at Cordelia for asking him this of all things and assures her that Albee should be so lucky, though Cordelia doesn’t seem entirely convinced. The cottage’s owner, a deeply offended man and owner of his “museum of threes” bursts in and chases the heroines out of his establishment, only for him to be eaten by Flipcup.

Bellow and the others navigate the coal factory, bewitching the workers with the idea of ever stopping their work and raising productivity by resting. They reach the boss himself, slowly convincing Downtown of the idea. He eventually succumbs, but states that he can’t allow this to interrupt his business of removing coal from the mountain, crushing it, and then putting it back in the mountain. Prolapse simply pushes him out the office window. The boys proceed to print out a series of fliers and pass them around town, granting every denizen 2 weeks of paid vacation a year before they regroup with the others.

## Links

Episode: https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/workin-hard