Klyukva

**Klyukva** (kljukva, клюква, "cranberry"), short for razvestaja kljukva (развесистая клюква, "sprawling cranberries"), is a set of cliches and stereotypes related to the country of Russia.

Like many cliches, some parts of the Rabydosverse were attempts to subvert or twist klyukva into new and interesting forms.

## List of klyukva cliches

* bears
* balalaikas
* endless winter
* Soviet army soldiers
* communism
* "comrade"
* very strong and tough men
* vodka, drunkenness
* matrioshka dolls
* ushanka hats
* the song "Kalinka"
* я (ja) replacing "r"
* joyless, humourless, Russians never smile
* Russian women are sexy and bound to their husbands/Russian women are ugly and like men
* Everyone is a member of the mafia (a criminal gang)
* very accented and bad English
* "mysterious Russian soul"

### Neo-klyukva

Due to the Russian invasion of Ukraine in 2022, several new cliches mocking Russia emerged related to the war crimes committed by its army. They did not have a specific name, but the author called them "neo-klyukva" as a second set of cliches.

* likes to steal washing machines, toilets, and televisions
* "Whenever a Russian dies, his family gets a new Lada car. Their wives and mothers only care for getting new cars so they send their men to die."
* "only cares about killing Ukrainians", hates Ukrainians and wants to murder all Ukrainians
* becomes a bed of sunflowers whenever a soldier dies in Ukraine
* smokes a lot, burns and causes explosions
* "orcs", monstrous soldiers
* obsessed with the letter Z
* spends a lot of time trolling on the Internet, but runs away when actually ordered to be conscripted
* very dirty
* "Unknown technology, blyat! [Damn it]"
* meat cubes made of dead soldiers

To some extent, supporters of the Russian invasion of Ukraine also use klyukva, distorting Russia into nothing more than a conservative or Soviet utopia, both in militarism and cosmetics.

## Anti-klyukva

Bujan, a futuristic pagan kingdom influenced by Slavic folklore and scifi, was meant to be a subversion of klyukva into something more different.

The author also created several other settings based on Slavic cultures, especially medieval ones. The klyukva cliches, which also wrongly labelled other Slavs (like Ukrainians, Polish, and Serbians, represented by Rukania, Baniorel, and Pogimmel respectively) as Russians, were also another reason why he wanted to create those cultures.

* (B) - Bujan
	+ Victorian England, 50's UK or US, Tsar Saltan (mediaeval Russia), Thailand, Malaysia, Japan
* (S) - Sevraeja
	+ Novgorod, Achaemenid and Sassanid Persia
* (R) - Rukania
	+ Kyivan Rus, Ukraine, Bretonnia or France
* (B) - Baniorel
	+ Poland, France
* (T) - Turodaron
	+ Brazil
* (P) - Pogimmel
	+ Monaco, Serbia
* (D) - Darros
	+ Russia, especially medieval "Muscovy"

## Slavic Rabydosverse nations, against Klyukva

### Bears

* (B) - Bears? The only bears in Bujan are in natural preserves and zoos. None of us would want to keep such a dangerous animal.
	+ Our national animals are the albatross, the tiger, the turtle, and the crane. Albatrosses represent freedom, tigers for faith and honour, turtles for longevity, and cranes for beauty. The other three animals after the albatross are from the native Wonao culture, while the tiger is worshipped as one of the Gods.
	+ That's Irajonian. Hell, did you even see the bear in Irajon's national flag? Perhaps we are certain that these drunks are so obsessed with bears, man!
* (S) - They are just wild animals. They are not our symbols.
	+ Our national animal is the okoroko, a "dragon". He is a servant of Stribog, our god, Lord of the Winds and Seas.
* (R), (B), (T), (P) - Who cares about them?
* (D) - the bear is a holy animal, a symbol of our god Perun.

### Balalaikas

* (B) - No thanks. We prefer pipe organs and pianos, *большое спасибо*.
	+ On the other hand, youngsters love RnB (what we call any piano music) and heavy metal (especially the shirtless Arnadjanai).
* (R) - We already have our own instrument, the bandura. People compare it to a waterfall or a willow tree.

### Endless winter

* (B) - We often think of our own kingdom as a land always in summer, sunlit and rainy. There's a reason why we call our homeland the Emerald Isle.
	+ Rain is so common in some years, that we even collect it as drinking water and give it away to the poor and some other countries. That is how we honour the Gods and be smart.
	+ Velskeprodia may be the closest equivalent, but it is mostly nothing but military and research bases for our allies and friends in the north. It is also to stop the Wannaenids from crossing eastward to invade Palkyras, past the north pole.
* (R) - Hah! Only the mountains have such spawn for vampire filth. Much of our land is steppe, with jungles in the south, and a desert in the northeast where the finest spinels are crafted into lanterns!
* (S) - Even *we* are not that cold. Much of Sevraeja is boreal grassland and some patches of wood, but still a picturesque landscape. Heck, we even have jungles at the southern mountains due to the volcanoes leaving so much rich soil!
	+ Most people in our country live at the western coast and the fertile south. It's less cold.

### Soviet Union, militarism

* (B) - Militarism is against the Bujanski way of life. We are only warriors because of the enemies around us, so we cannot lay down our arms until the last foe is defeated. It will never happen, so we must always be on our guard. But to worship the military, and make it our only aim, turns us into our very enemies and destroys what we are.
	+ The Soviet Union is just another empire in some of the Terras. Because of it being used as a symbol of the Tyrskan oppressors, we will never accept Soviets or their Nazi counterparts.

### Communism

* (B) - Communism is like fascism, militarism, hypernationalism, world government, theocracy, antitheocracy, and Americanism - a cult that replaces freedom with obsession.
	+ We prefer our free and modern monarchy, and in Bujan, our duty is to save everyone from poverty and social ills - what our Rodnover faith teaches us.
	+ In fact, three of the armies that fought over out homeland during the colonial era used communist symbols. One of them, the Serpentians, was explicitly communist, even when their idea of "communism" was nothing more than to make Bujan a copy of the bygone Soviet Union.

### "Comrade"

* (B) - Address us as "sir" or "miss". "Comrade" can be for a fellow soldier, never a pronoun - that is too Terran for us.

### Very strong and tough men

* (B) - We Bujanski are just as normal like you. "Weak", to the standards of pathetic superhumans, but we make up for with their brute strength with strategy and firepower!

### Vodka, drunkenness

* (B) - No thanks. Alcohol is a waste of time and money, so only stupid people waste away on alcohol and make a fool of themselves.
	+ Unfortunately, this is what modern Azgo has become, the shame of the Sarmelonids they were descended from! Not even Irajon is exempt from this obsession.
	+ To be fair, even the Turodarians (our kin, but the Vozonid culture isn't the cause) and the Marnosyns also waste away on alcohol, destroying whatever sanity they have.

### Ushankas

* (B) - We use them as target practice. No honourable Bujanski *ever* wears an ushanka!
* (S), (R) - Absolutely NOT. They are just *ugly*.

### Kalinka

* (B) - Seriously, we *hate* that song! It is even banned in some districts within Bujan, including the Marina of Koscheigrad, because it's too Terran and treasonous!

### Russian "R"

* (B) - We do not use this letter to write "ja". "Ja" in Bujanski is still "ја", nearly-identical to Serbian.
	+ To be fair, Azgovians and people from Palkyras also write their "ja's" like that. Always "ја", never "я", which we usually read as "ai".
	+ In academic literature covering archaic texts, we see "Я", and it was always used for "ai". "Jai" (or "yai" in some spellings) would be ""јя".
* (S), (R) - Yes, we do have this letter when writing in Common.
	+ In Sevraejan Common, ja is written as ꙗ.

### No humour

* (B) - We love satire and mockery, and we live and breathe in it. If something is stupid, we mock it to hell!

### "Bujanski women are sexy"

* (B) - *Ai, nov Bogi,* (Oh my Gods) why would *we* be *that* stupid? We are smarter, so we do not lower ourselves to such a sad level.
	+ Usually, it was Arnadjanai who gladly show off how "sexy" they are. *Gods,* they now look like hooligans without a fine suit or at least a vest. Beautiful, but miserable in their refusal to accept high standards as we do, and we pity them.
	+ Our women have the same rights as men. They may still have girly and womanly hobbies, like fashion, badminton, and cycling; but they can have their own home, vote, and run their own business. After all, you can be born as a man or a woman, whatever that the Gods determined for you.
	+ One of the top fishing companies in our kingdom is founded and run by a woman, Zvenislava Mudrintav, for twenty years. She did not have a husband or children, but she is still doing fine because her workers see her as capable like other good managers. In fact, mothers and fathers from all over the country often use her as a role model for their daughters to emulate. Perhaps out of contempt towards the Terrans' attitudes, dads and moms even wanted their lads to also emulate her and other women as role models: although some people expected that boys who did so might become "cowards", they ended up being just as brave as traditional men.
	+ Among the many queens and empresses of our history, since Koschei founded our nation, a thousand and sixty of our queens led warriors into battle. Just as our kings did the same, our warrior-queens have earned our respect for their courage and wisdom. We Bujanski - Slavs, Wonaos, and Vozonids - are not to be trifled with, whether as men or women.

### Onion domes

* (B) We don't have these in our kingdom.
	+ Some parts of our country do have onion domes. Some are temples of Rukanian and Sevraejan origin, out of respect for our allies. Others are Free North communities, permitted by law as the only parts where public display of their faith is allowed.
	+ Chano Province has buildings known as "churches", temples for Free Norths. Notably, Rongarik's temples may be confused for Rukanian temples because of the splendid domes.
* (R) We really hope the Bujanski are not that paranoid. Onion domes do exist in many Rukanian temples, and they are coloured to represent the main gods in each temple.
	+ Example of what a Rukanian temple would look like: a church in Kyiv, the capital of Ukraine.
* (S) They were a product of Zarijana, when we emulated its ancient kings.

## Rabydosverse Slavs against neo-klyukva

How do the Slavic peoples of the Rabydosverse act against the set of neo-klyukva tropes?

### Orcs

* Bujanski were sometimes called "orcs" by Terrans simply because they look Russian. Darroskei also called them "orcs" to mock their separation and independence from Darros, but this was when the Bujanski compared themselves to Vibhishana, an asura who instead serves Lord Rama.
	+ On the other hand, a lot of time Bujanski always warned against a number of crimes that would corrupt the doer into an "orc". The murders on July 1892 alarmed many Bujanski, fearing that the murders will corrupt their whole nation into "orc-ness".
* Later, ethnic Arnadjanai are called "orcs" by the Bujanski because they are big and clumsy.

### Latin Z

* Universally seen throughout Jerde as a symbol of the Terran invaders, not just Russians.
* Later adopted by the Terran Empire as a symbol of themselves being the destruction of civilisation.
* Became the symbol of the Zetrosian Empire and their Tyrskan descendants, symbolising eternity, domination, and destruction. It was also due to the Z-letter resembling an hourglass, representing their immortality, evolving into a figure 8 or infinity symbol for the agelessness of the Tyrskans.

### Lada cars for dead sons

* Tyrskans were known for hosting chariot races to celebrate the death of a male adult member, if he was a soldier.

### Hatred towards Ukrainian people

* Rukania is well-loved by Bujanski as an ancient role model. Alongside the Wonao nations, it also led the old Bujanids into becoming an active member of the global community. Modern Bujanski still honour Rukania for preserving their people and training them to liberate their homeland.
	+ Furthermore, Rukanian chivalry influenced modern Bujanski proper culture, as a means to prevent the bloodthirsty recklessness of the July massacres.
	+ Tyrskans sometimes compared Rukanians to other Slavic nations who rebelled against the former's bygone empire. One of them happened to resemble Rukania, leading to knightly and royal symbols of that western kingdom to be adopted by the local resistance.
	+ One slur in the Tyrskan language was among the terms used against other Slavs. To Bujanski, that term became known as a word for "you slave!", leading to it becoming a capital offense in modern Bujan.

## Counter-klyukva

On the contrary, Bujanski people mock Vozolaz, their former overlord and mentor of classics, as an all-time example of a failure. An example of arrogance plunging a once-mighty space empire, into a drunken, wallowing mess; now rearranged as a sort of "opposite klyukva". Ultimately, it was the Irajonians, Kitasians, and other post-Vozonid nations who started this, and then Bujan improvised it in all sorts of creative and mocking ways.

The shame of the very Gods it fought in their name, while Bujan, Irajon, Josol, Siangwaan, and even oddballs such as Turodaron and Siangwaan are better instruments of Heaven. Unlike the former "Father Sarmelon", these successors are way better than the ironic descendant of the Sarmelonid Empire.

Even the Azgovians, direct descendants of the Sarmelonid civilisation, joined in, as they were very unhappy with the current state of their civilisation. As long as it doesn't involve a direct attack on their people (which is obviously racism - they would not mock the Bujanski as "pig-skins" in turn because that's too intolerantly *stupid*), they in turn turned the counter-klyukva (or "jaubo-kljukkon", gryphon klyukva) into a dystopian fantasy genre that even the Bujanski love very much!

This could be more compared to Americans or New Zealanders mocking ancient Rome; the Bujanski (and other post-Vozonid nations) would correspond to the Anglosphere or Francosphere, while Sarmelonid Vozolaz would be the Roman Empire. For a comparison in real life, Italy (as the Roman Empire) is used as an example.

### Vozolaz = Roman Empire

Vozonid culture looks like a mix of Thai and Hittite art.

* Bears - Gryphons, gryphons, everywhere. If only the real Vozolaz was that awesome, where everyone can ride a gryphon to work.
	+ not a stereotype in depictions of ancient Rome, but it would be riding on lions
* Balalaikas - According to Sarmelonised classical music, Vozonids play lutes.
	+ not a stereotype of ancient Rome, but it would be lyres and trumpets everywhere.
* Endless winter - Endless *summer*. Vozolaz is a tropical country, but unfortunately, its land is now mostly desert. Sadly, an excuse to break the rules of formality and go shirtless like an idiot.
	+ everything is arid and Mediterranean, while Roman settings look temperate
* Soviet army - Apparently, Vozonids always wear those fancy silk robes you see in festivals and classical art. Or as post-communist Azgo, everyone wears miserable grey or blue uniforms.
	+ everyone wears togas
* communism - Vozolaz isn't a monarchy anymore, but it is stereotyped as such. The "emperor" hosting those ceremonies is only a descendant. Or it is stuck under the commies, who then start their own monarchy.
	+ "Ave Caesar! We salute you! Et tu brute!". Also, there is the Roman Senate.
* very strong and tough men - oh, my Gods, Vozonids are just as weak as us Bujanski!
	+ Did you forget about the gladiators? Too bad many Romans were too lazy to match their fitness, haha
* vodka, drunkenness - oh, my Gods! Vozolaz is known throughout history as an alcoholic hellhole, where people waste away in drunken dances!
	+ Not a stereotype in depictions of the Roman Empire, though Romans may had drank wine.
* matrioshka dolls
	+ Romans also had dolls, mostly for children. They also liked to use miniature statues for decoration, not just as idols in shrines and temples.
* ushanka hats - Vozonids are stereotyped as wearing golden or silk crowns, like in classical art.
	+ In stereotypical settings, olive wreaths were worn, but in actual history wreaths were not the only thing Romans wore. Roman slaves who were freed wore a pileus, women wore veils to avoid damaging their hair, workers wore a petasus to cover their heads from the sun, noblemen also wore the petasus when on hunting trips or the theatre, some priests must wear the galerius, and bureaucrats sometimes wore the Pannonian cap.
* Russians never smile - Vozonids were either merry or angry
* everyone joins the mafia - criminal gangs were limited to depictions of Sarmelonid-era cities; otherwise, almost no depiction of gangs except for bandits, robbers, and pirates. Azgo, on the other hand, has some depictions of armed gangsters.
* poor English - here, Bujanski or Latin as international languages are used as a reference
	+ No surprise that due to the poor state of education in modern Azgo, Vozonids can understand and speak in Bujanski, but they pronounce it in an archaic accent.
	+ On the other hand, the classical language of Vozolaz was Sarmelonid, sometimes used in Azgo in certain temples and sects as a holy language. In modern Bujan, Sarmelonid is given a semi-official status, and many Bujanski of various races can understand Sarmelonid. In fact, a number of Sarmelonid loanwords still remain in spite of their replacement during the Standardisation, mostly as classical, aristocratic, and poetic terms.
	+ While Latin was the national language of the Roman Empire, after the collapse of the empire, it developed into several regional variants as the Romance family, such as French, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, and Romanian.
* "mysterious Russian soul" - again, Vozonids are not a mage people, like us and everyone else. Very rarely do we hear of Vozonid humans having magic powers, usually in government projects, visitors from abroad, and crime gangs. However, in Vozonid religions, there are some priests who are believed to exorcise nightmares.
	+ Two examples of exorcisms in ancient Rome were: Josephus, Antiquities 8.42-49/8.2.5; and Philostratus recording about Apollonius encountering a boy who was supposedly possessed by a demon (4.20)
	+ Magic in Greco-Roman times involved either priestly rituals (known as theurgia) or charms (known as goetia, hence Ars Goetia).

## Trivia

* The Ukrainian counterpart is sharovarschyna (шароварщина), series of stereotypical cliches depicting Ukraine as a backwards country. Since 2022, bayraktarschyna (байрактарщина, named after the Bayraktar artillery) is a term for cliches that distort any understanding of Ukrainian defence against the Russian invasion.
* Tyrskans were angry that the Serpentians' and Salvationists' emulation of the Soviet Union was nothing more than a stereotypical depiction of Russia.

## See also

More cliche lists and how they are subverted and played with:

* Three Archetypes - the American equivalent, though not an official description.
* Nordic aliens - Arnadjanai (to some extent, the Novantirnas)
* Dollfolk - Heronoi, Ontemazei, Kodequara, Waxeroi
* Clowns - Lausorijô
* Werewolves - Zuronnonzo