Episode 4

**Episode 4** is an episode of Drunken Peasants.

## Videos Played

1. Old woman scared of pot in Denver *(not found)*
2. Coach Sues 14 Year Old Player for 500k
3. Retired Cop Shoots Man Over Texting in Theater *(not found)*
4. Same assholes pleads self defense *(not found)*
5. The Evil NSA *(not found)*
6. 3-Hour Orgasm *(not found)*
7. Rusty Beaver Throws its own eggs *(not found)*
8. SE. Cupp Crossfire
9. Self Driving Car *(not found)*
10. Ted Nugget *(not found)*

## Start of the Show

The episode of DP begins with the typical, visually-stationary original opening with Ben's vocals presenting the beginning of the show.

TJ kicks off the discussion part of the podcast by introducing the Sober Noble Scotty, and Scotty begins with some owl noises and threats of violence.

The first "video" played is of that irritating news anchor that covered Justin Bieber's eggs talking about Pan in her try-hard way. They also talked to some faggot fan.

The next video was about a little league coach suing the family of one of his students because his tiny plastic hat him, causing mild pain. He claimed it severed his Achilles tendon. No, really. The man's scummy lawyer claimed that it was okay, because he never sued anyone before.

## Middle of the Show

The peasants play a video about a retired cop who shot a man to death at a movie theater because he threw popcorn at him. It was okay though, because the man was texting, so he obviously had to die.

The next video was about how the NSA has been spying on people. The organization has been spying on hundreds of thousands of people across the world. The Peasants talk about how the NSA can pretty much look at everything now, and if nobody told the people about the discussion would never happen. The clip also showed Bernie Sanders saying that the government should not be allowed to look at people's shit.

The next video was about how a woman experienced a three hour orgasm. It happened on a reality show, and they had to say that it was real. The husband was giving off a creepy, cherry smile, because he gave his woman the best orgasm ever. The peasants then took a break.

## End of the Show

The next video was about S.E. Cupp talking about income inequality. S.E. Cupp said that Republicans have always been talking about income inequality, which The Peasants criticized. Cupp said some stupid Republican talking points, like saying "Job Creators." S.E. Cupp got owned by Robert Reich, who brought up commie talking points to justify the minimum wage.

The next video was about self-driving cars. The car works by allowing people to drive, but if they don't want to, the cars are capable of driving themselves. Some issues with driverless cars were brought up, but TJ anticipates a future in which driverless cars are the norm.

After taking another break, The Drunken Peasants talk about Ted Nugent. Ted talked about how he doesn't do stupid things, even though he is an entire person of stupid choices. He admits to drinking alcohol, and never went to his mother's funeral. He's an all-around redneck. The Peasants then wrapped up the show.

## Quotes

"*This is what I call pretentious bullshit. Just give me the weed.*"
—TJ keeping it simple

"*We should do a segment of the show called "Douchebag cop of the week.*"
—TJ suggesting a segment that never came

"*It's okay, because we were only spying on dirty foreigners who might be plotting against us.*"
—TJ defending the NSA

"*God gives you faith. Satan just tries to give you facts and numbers.*"
—TJ explaining why logic is a tool of the devil

## Trivia

* In Florida, the penalty for texting in a movie theater is death.
* No matter what happens on the podcast, the NSA is watching.
* This is the first episode in which Bernie Sanders is mentioned, and even back then, TJ thought he was the only senator worth a fuck.
* TJ runs on the taco party.