I'm Too Tall For This

***I'm Too Tall For This*** is the debut studio album by American "musician" (I think he counts as one, but I'm not to sure if this actually counts as "music" or not tbh) Maxi, released on January 27th, 2018 by *Potassium Records* and *Fueled by Ramen Who*. The album just, one day, randomly came out of nowhere and, for some odd reason, took over the American charts. Science can't explain the weird phenomenon about this album's completely unexpected success, but some speculate it has to do with the few guest out of place guest features and all the unnecessary sampling on the album. Also, Maxi can't actually sing for shit.

On Febuary 15, 2018, a *deluxe version* was announced to be releasing soon. Not much is known about it yet, but what is known is that G-Eazy, Cardi B, and Brendon Urie of *Panic! at the Disco* are guest features on three of the songs. There is also a rumor circulating around that the legendary *Glenny Perry* is also a feature, but it's just a rumor.

## Writing and Composition

The lyrics to every song on this album are just the exact same topic, but reworded slightly differently, being tall. That's all.

Musically, it's just sampling/pirating the entirety of *The Human Condition* by American pop musician, *Jon Bellion*, so I guess that makes this a *Hip Hop*, *Alternative R&B*, and *Pop Rock* record. Despite this being kinda illegal, Maxi has not been confronted about this yet for some reason.

## Release

It just came out of nowhere. The same day it released, the lead single "I Almost Got Decapitated by a Ceiling Fan Once" was released the exact same day the album dropped. One day later, on Jan 28, 2018, the second single "I'm Tired of Short People Asking Me 'How's the Weather Up There?' All the Time" was released. A lyric video for both this and 'I Almost' were released here too. I have no idea why anyone thought this was a good idea (probably what happens when you get signed to "Potassium Records"), but every song on the album were released as a single everyday, with "6'2" being released on January 29th, "My Height is Higher Then My Self Esteem Will Ever Be" the next day, and so on.

## Critical Reception

The critics either praised it or despised it. Those who praised formed an entire satanic-esq cult around the album where this record is being treated like a God. The only known member of this cult is well-known internet music critic, "theneedledrop" (aka "melonhead".) Those who despised it, however, aren't a part of this cult, they're just normal people. All I need to say here.

## Commercial Performance

As said several times, this album become a shocking fluke hit and debuted at number one on the *Billboard 200* and stayed there for five whole months, unmoved. No one can explain how this happened, not even those damn weird guest features. It became the most successful album of 2018 and stuck around for a good chunk of 2019, too. Despite the album's massive success, none of the songs ever actually reached number one on the Hot 100, with 'I Almost' and 'My Height' both peaking at number three. Both songs still managed to rank in the top 10 of the Year-End 2018 Hot 100 though. Back to the album, it was certified platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) for combined sales and album-equivalent units of over a million units in the United States.

## Track Listing

* 1. "I'm Too Tall For This" (4:01)
* 2. "6'2" (3:36)
* 3. "I Almost Got Decapitated by a Ceiling Fan" (3:37)
* 4. "My Height is Higher Then My Self Esteem" (feat. Jaden Smith... for some reason...) (4:27)
* 5. "I Accidentally Stepped on a Child Today" (3:55)
* 6. "I'm Tired of Short People Asking Me 'How's the Weather Up There?' All the Time" (3:53)
* 7. "My Feeling May Be Down, But My Height Is Up!" (feat. Ed Sheeran) (3:39)
* 8. "I Hit My Head Against A Fucking Wall" (2:52)
* 9. "I Hit My Head Against Another Fucking Wall" (4:29)
* 10. "Why Do I Keep Hitting My Head Against Walls?" (3:43)
* 11. "I Hit My Head Trying to Get Out of a Car, Not a Wall This Time" (4:25)
* 12. "Some Guy Tried To Dunk Me, But Just Hit My Face Instead Because He Couldn't Reach Over My Head" (feat. Adam Levine) (3:28)
* 13. "And I'm Back To Hitting Walls Again." (3:28)
* 14. "I Just Got Decapitated by a Wall, Fuck." (5:37)
	+ **Total Length: 55:11**

## Charts

Just read the Commercial Performance Section.

## Certifications and Sales

Certified Platinum, all you need to know.

## References

I just made this page out of complete and udder boredom, I don't actually have anything to cite as references other than the links above.