Cleveland Live!

**Cleveland Live!** is the first episode of season two of *The Cleveland Show*. It is the twenty second episode, overall.

## Synopsis

In The Cleveland Show's first ever live episode, Cleveland and Donna celebrate their one-year anniversary, before their unruly kids and disruptive friends, including Robert get in the way. Meanwhile, Roberta takes the debate team to regionals.

## Plot

In an animation first, The Cleveland Show offers the audience a behind-the-scenes look at the “filming” of the episode. When Cleveland and Donna attempt to celebrate their anniversary, their unruly kids and disruptive friends, including Donna’s ex-husband, Robert, get in their way.

After the introduction, Cleveland tells the boys they are staying with Robert Tubbs so that Cleveland and Donna can celebrate their anniversary. Roberta announces she is going to a friend's house and an unseen stagehand yells that Cleveland is fat.

At Robert's house, they hear a knock on the door and Robert believes that people he's scammed come after him. Robert shows Cleveland his secret stash of guns and Cleveland shoots the stagehand, not realizing the gun has real ammunition. Cleveland arranges for Robert to stay at Tim and Arianna's where Robert seduces Arianna.

Back at the Brown's house, Cleveland and Donna try again for a night of romance where Roberta arrives and complains about being written out of the episode. Just then Tim arrives and tells of seeing Robert and Arianna. Roberta interrupts by walking across the stage with a bottle of alcohol and says she is starting the afterparty since her role was cut from the show. Cleveland nervously tries to get her off stage and she hit him in the throat, forcing him to call for commercial.

When they return, Cleveland has a stagehand in Roberta's clothes and wig read from a script that "she" is sorry for interrupting, gives an explanation for her actions and says she is going back to her friend's house.

Back to a disconsolate Tim, Cleveland and Donna decide to go to Arianna's, where they find her still glowing from the sex and dropping innuendos. They try to convince Arianna that Tim needs her and she describes how hard it would be after a night with Robert, and Arianna and Donna start comparing experiences.

Cleveland and Donna return home where they tell Tim he has to fight to keep Arianna. Robert bursts through the door, convinced that his pursuers are closing in. Arianna follow trying to persuade Robert to take her with him. The door bursts open and Julia Roberts bursts in portraying "Julia Robertson", Robert's parole officer. A drunken Roberta returns and despite the director and camera crew desperately trying to keep her out of frame, she gets to perform her monologue from the debate scene that was cut. When she slams the door on her way out, a light falls on Julia Roberts. As a medic crew rushes in to save Julia, the director announces that they are running out of time and Cleveland hastily rushes through a scenario of Tim and Arianna making up, Robert spending more time with the kids and Cleveland and Donna getting their romantic dinner, finishing just in time. The cast hurriedly says their goodbyes over Julia Robert's corpse, revealing characters that didn't appear in the episode and twins portraying Rallo.

## Characters

### Major Roles

* Cleveland Brown
* Donna Tubbs-Brown
* Cleveland Junior
* Roberta Tubbs
* Rallo Tubbs
* Robert Jones
* Tim the Bear
* Arianna the Bear
* Julia Roberts

### Minor Roles

* Lester Krinklesac
* Holt Richter
* Raymond the Bear
* Solid Gold Dancers
* Bart Simpson (Cameo)
* Hank Hill (Cameo)
* Stewie Griffin (Cameo)
* Zach Galifianakis (Cameo)
* Erik Hamill (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Walter Murphy (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Peter Griffin (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Lois Griffin (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Roger Smith (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Klaus Heisler (Non-Speaking Cameo)
* Terry Kimple (Pictured)
* Principal Farquhare (Pictured)

## Quotes

**Rallo**: Well, here I is. That's gunna be my new catchphrase, for season two.
**Junior**: Mine's gunna be "Teddy bear picnic!"
**Rallo**: You know what? Forget it. Catchphrases are stupid.
**Cleveland**: Party over here!

**Rallo**: If I were Bernie Mac, I'd be sitting in a chair right now, telling America how stupid you are. Miss you, Bernie.

**Roberta**: Whazzup, yall? Roberta Tubbs is in the house.
**Junior**: Hi, Roberta. Are you staying at your deadbeat dad's too?
**Roberta**: Please, if I wanted to breathe toxic mold and get flea bites, I'd date Zach Galifianakis.
*[Zack Galifianakis appears, looking at her, through the window]*
**Zack**: It's gunna happen. One way, or the other.

**Roberta**: I'm going to my friend, Tassie's house. She's gunna help me punch up my debate speech.
**Junior**: Which one of your plethora of friends is Tassie?
**Roberta**: She's the Iranian one. Because Ayatollah her to get lost.

**Cleveland**: It's gunna work out great. Donna's gunna be so sur-
**Random Audience Member**: *[offscreen; cutting him off]* You're fat!
*[audience gasps; beat]*
**Cleveland**: ... You know what else is fat? Rudeness!
*[audience cheers for Cleveland, applauding him for his sick burn]*

**Robert**: Hey, you kids like games, right? Well, I got a fun one for you. It's called Open the Box, Take Out the DVD Player Put a Brick Where it Was, And Then Tape it Back Up.
**Junior**: And then we can build a wall out of the DVD players. Yaaaay!

**Donna**: Cleveland, you made all this, and you're gunna clean it all up, by yourself, afterwards?

*[Donna reads Cleveland's anniversary card]*
**Donna**: Awww, Cleveland. This is so sweet. Thank you.
**Female Audience Member**: *[offscreen]* You got a good one, girl.

**Rallo**: Please don't let my daddy get killed, Cleveland. You can't be my only male role model. I'll grow up to be an overweight, gay loser!
**Junior**: *[gaily]* That's crazy talk, sugar.

**Robert**: Looks like C-Brown just got C-blocked.

**Robert**: Time to get strapped, dough boy.
**Cleveland**: Pardon me?
**Robert**: Get your gun ready.
**Cleveland**: I don't have a gun.
**Robert**: I used to live here. We got guns everywhere. Flip the couch.
*[Cleveland flips the couch and there's a gun rack under there with a wide array of guns; Cleveland grabs a pistol]*
**Cleveland**: *[shaking uncontrollably]* I don't even need to buy bullets, cuz I'm sweating them!

**Tim**: A couple of periods ago, Arianna went crazy and tore up the mattress in the guest room.

**Arianna**: Grrrr!
**Robert**: Grrrr, yourself, bear bitch.
**Arianna**: Call me a bitch, again.

**Cleveland**: Here. Go see a movie. Nothing with boobs.
**Rallo**: Awww.
**Cleveland**: And nothing with elves.
**Junior**: Awww.

*[Roberta enters, through the fourth wall]*
**Cleveland**: *[thrown off]* Roberta. What a surprise to see you here, and not entering through the door, but though this fourth wall of our house.
**Roberta**: *[angry]* Well, I thought I'd stop by, because apparently, I've been over at Tassie's for three days now!
**Cleveland**: *[nervous]* Uh, Ahem, you have?
**Roberta**: *[angry]* Yeah, but I guess somebody didn't think of that, when he cut my story out of the show. Remember? Roberta takes the debate team to the regionals?
**Cleveland**: *[sarcastic]* Yeah, that was a laugh riot. Set your VCRs.
**Roberta**: *[angry]* Nobody uses VCRs anymore, fool!
**Cleveland**: *[confused]* Then how do you play tapes?

**Cleveland**: *[nervous]* Uh, heh-heh. Roberta, I don't think you should be drinking, since you're only 15.
**Roberta**: *[angry]* I play 15, jackass! I'm 21 years old!

**Cleveland**: Seems like Roberta's not feeling well, so maybe she should go to the doctor.
**Roberta**: Maybe *you* should go to Hell!

*[Cleveland and Roberta talk over each other]*
**Cleveland**: Okay, settle down. Live episode. *[nervously chuckles]* Remember, this effects all of us. Studio execs are watching. Heh. You wanna be in the upcoming movie, don't you? Or a cameo in Tim's upcoming spinoff, where he moves back into his home forest and gets remarried? You might wanna play ball.
**Roberta**: Don't you touch me! I'm a survivor! And you know why? I can do it all, cuz *[singing]* I'm every woman! It's all in me! It's all in me! Yeah! *[normal]* I was in "*Hustle 'N' Flow*"! Back off, old man!
*[Roberta elbows Cleveland in the neck, causing him to choke]*
**Cleveland**: *[choking]* UGH! ACK! GO TO COMMERCIAL! GO TO COMMERCIAL!

*[Cleveland talks to a man, dressed as a Roberta]*
**Cleveland**: So, Roberta, you told me you have something to say?
**"Roberta"**: Yes, I would like to apologize for my behavior, earlier. Underage drinking is a major problem in our society. One that is in no way condoned by FOX Broadcasting Corporation or any of it's affiliates. As for those inappropriate things I said earlier, I have a logical explanation. I ate some bad shrimp and went crazy. But the last thing you and mom needed was someone else interrupting your anniversary celebration. Now, back to my friend Tassie's house.
**Cleveland**: Stay there as long as you want.

**Arianna**: Donna, if you're looking for Robert, he's here. We were up at 4:00 in the morning. Well, *he* was us. That is innuendo, and he was in my endo.

**Donna**: Arianna, what you're doing is wrong. It's adultery. I mean, what if I told your church friends?
**Arianna**: That a self righteous Christian is actually a hypocrite? Alert the media.

**Arianna**: Robert is amazing in bed. He's wild and adventurous and his technique is almost magical. The way he kisses your ear and brings you right up to the edge and then at exactly the right moment-
**Donna**: He bites down and it's pain and pleasure and a thousand volts of electricity shoot through every inch of your body.
*[Cleveland gives Donna an angered look]*
**Donna**: He never helped with the dishes, though.
**Cleveland**: *[smug]* Game, set and match.

**Cleveland**: Arianna wants somebody who's strong. You have to be manly like a Latino man or an Italian man or a German woman.

**Tim**: She wants manly, I'll give her manly up the old wazoo.
**Cleveland**: Why don't we take the road less traveled?

**Arianna**: I still have four nipples, you haven't touched.
**Robert**: Damn, this bitch got a lot of nipples.

**Julia Roberts**: I'm his parole officer, Julia Robertson. I may look like a *Pretty Woman* but I'm a *Steel Magnolia* and I *Eat, Pray, Love* being a parole officer, even when I have to miss *My Best Friend's Wedding* to track down a *Runaway Bride*. I was also in *The Pelican Brief*.

**Roberta**: Trying to keep me out of the show. I *am* the damn show!

**Cleveland**: There goes the Emmy.

**Guy**: *[offscreen]* Cleveland, we've only got 60 seconds left.
**Cleveland**: What?
**Guy**: *[offscreen]* Fifty-eight seconds, need to wrap it up.
**Cleveland** Damn Roberta, wasting our time.
**Guy**: *[offscreen]* Fifty-six seconds.
**Cleveland**: Okay, okay, here's what happens. Tim stands up to Robert, which makes Arianna see him as a man or a bear or whatever and Robert realizes his parole officer just wanted to tell him to spend more time with his son. So he takes Rallo bowling and Cleveland Junior goes along too because they have cheese fries which means Donna and I are finally free to have our romantic dinner.

**Cleveland**: We did it! We really did it! We pulled it off live! All right! All right, that's all we got. Whoo! To my amazing crew, sorry I've been stressed out this week and yelled at those PAs earlier, and shot that guy in the audience. You know it comes from a good place. I'd like to thank FOX and, of course, Seth and Julia Rob-sorry, the late Julia Roberts. There's one more star in Heaven. 9/11 was an inside job. Good night, everybody!
## Trivia

* Cleveland sings a changed version of the theme song, for the episode.
* Several staff members of *The Cleveland Show* are given shout outs here, including a cameo of music producer, Walter Murphy and a brief mention of show creator, Seth MacFarlane at the end.
* List of things on the signs and shirts of fans:
	+ Hooray!
	+ Marry me Rallo
	+ I Wanna With Donna
	+ Cleveland Rocks
	+ I Be-Cleve
	+ I'm Having a Junior Moment
* Rallo and Junior coin the catchphrases, "Well, here I is." and "Teddy bear picnic." for the second season, but neither of them follow through with keeping them consistent.
* Robert remodeled the couch to make it double as a gun rack.
* Holt has stage fright.
* It's revealed that Roberta's "actor" is actually 21 years old.

### Continuity

* This episode takes place one year after Cleveland and Donna's marriage in "Cleveland Moves In".
* One fan of the show is shown, wearing a shirt that said "I Be-Cleve", making a callback to the episode "Harder, Better, Faster, Browner", despite that episode airing *after* this one.

### Cultural References

* This episode is parody of a TV series gimmick for a live-action show that is usually filmed to be aired live. This was employed by such series as The Drew Carey Show, The West Wing, ER, Will & Grace, and soon, 30 Rock.
* The intro of this episode illustrates a brief history of other famous works of adult animation, including *The Simpsons*, *King of the Hill*, *Family Guy*, and *American Dad!*.
	+ When describing The Simpsons, the narrator touts them as the first non-prehistoric family in primetime animation. This is a reference to *The Flintstones*.
* It's gagged that the program was brought to the viewers by the failing business, *Circuit City*.
* Rallo sends a little prayer to Bernie Mac from *The Bernie Mac Show*.
* Cleveland makes a pun, relating to Roberta's Iranian friend, Tassie, saying "Ayatollah her to get lost." (a pun on "I told her to get lost.") This is a reference to infamous Islamic extremist, *Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini*.
* Junior jumps out the window and yells "To infinity and beyond!", quoting *Buzz Lightyear*.
* Peter and Lois from *Family Guy* make a cameo in the audience.
* Roger and Klaus from *American Dad* make a cameo in the audience. They are purposely mislabeled as "Robert and Kraut from That Other Show".
* Roberta sings Whitney Huston's "*I'm Every Woman*", while drunk.
* Roberta claims to have starred in the movie, "*Hustle 'N' Flow*".
* When Julia Roberts states her intentions, she uses references to movies she has been in.
* The incident with Arianna and Robert with Cleveland telling Tim to fight to get his wife back, mirrors when Loretta was having an affair with Quagmire.