Connie's Angry Rooftop

Tom Andre

Armin Artlert

Connie's Angry Rooftop is a short that was published on Tom Andre's channel on the 18th August 2014 and which has its footage taken from the later part of Episode 07: War Goddess which depicts Connie, Mikasa and Armin arguing about various things such as sexual impotence, Mikasa sexual attraction to a Titan and even Mikasa's "Scarf Disease"

## Transcript

**Mikasa:** He's not like the others... He's so strong... and muscly... and hot!

**Connie:** Mikasa! It's a titan. It's literally a giant, dickless Ken doll with an emo haircut.

**Mikasa:** Well you guys talk shit about girls all the time. Why is it that when I talk about a guy suddenly it's not okay?

**Connie:**  Yeah! Those are human, women, not titans! No one here wants to fuck a titan but you Mikasa!

**Armin:** A giant ravenous woman bent on the destruction of mankind? Speak for yourself Connie.

**Mikasa:** I never said that I wanna bang a Titan!

**Connie:** Doesn't matter. You fantasizing about the titan is just wrong.

**Mikasa:** Oh yeah? Well it's not like I've got many options. Tell me. what's a girl supposed to dream about? You Connie? With your little dwarf biceps? Or... Armin!?

**Armin:** YES!

**Connie:** No!

**Armin:** The Bangmaster

**Connie:** No!

**Mikasa:** Just look at him... That chiseled chest... That rebellious face.

**Connie:** Oh yeah! Look at that! Maybe if your real naughty emo titan might spank you with that ratty scarf.

**Mikasa:** Oh my god yes that would be so hot!

**Connie:** Wait. Mikasa, when was the last time you washed that thing.

[Mikasa is silently dreaming about it]

**Connie:** Mikasa!

**Mikasa:** What!

**Connie:** When was the last time you washed that scarf?

**Mikasa:** Never.

**Connie:** What?!

**Armin:** I feel like a dirty little vacuum cleaner.

**Connie:** You're telling me that for at least 5 years you haven't washed or changed that scarf once?!

**Mikasa:** It was given to me by someone special. Now shut up I'm trying to mentally picture something.

**Connie:** Jesus fucking Christ! Can you imagine how dirty that thing is? It must be crawling with every kind of bug possible.

**Armin:** Ruffletrump

**Mikasa:** It warms the darkness of my soul! Got anything like that Connie?

**Connie:** No. But at least I'm not like captain smallpox blanket here, walking along with my dirty rags like some mangy fucking dog! How many kids have you killed from scarf-disease?

**Armin:** That scarf's probably saturated with their dead skin cells. Mikasa! Please! Let me get a whiff.

**Mikasa:** Both of you fuck off! I have fantasies to think about.

**Armin:** But Mikasa!

**Connie:** Face it Armin! None of us are getting what we want today.

**Armin:** But... But... I AM A STEAMING CAULDRON OF SEXUAL NEEDS AND DESIRES RIGHT NOW!

**Mikasa:** Shut up Armin I'm trying to fucking concentrate!

**Connie:** And what about me? I came here because I want you!

**Mikasa:** And I want that Titan!

**Armin:** And I want a wool sack! Oh shit. Did I just say that out loud?

**Connie:**  I knew it Mikasa. You do want to fuck a Titan.

**Mikasa:** You know what Connie? Yeah, I do. I wanna bang that Titan so hard and I want you to watch. Just so you can see what you're missing!

**Connie:** You say that like its a drawback.

**Mikasa:** Go fuck yourself!

[\*click\*, \*inhales gas\*]

**Connie:** Oh look at me, my name's Mikasa and I can't control my raging ovaries

**Mikasa:** Ok I'm done. Say one more word goddamnit. I will fucking kill you! Say one more word.

[silence]

**Mikasa:** That's what I thought.

[zoom in on Connie with a smirk on his face]

**Connie:** Bitch.