Manbeast

**Manbeast** is a recurring character played by Broden Kelly.

**Manbeast** is a hybrid of man and beast. While his existence is well verified and documented, no one knows how he exists; all we know is he exists. He fears not famine, nor war, and no sticketh of salami shall maketh him not quake. He knows all and feels all. While indeed the sovereign of the moon, Manbeast currently resides on earth, roaming the world to find the woman he shall love. His name is spelt:

* B - for bacon and eggies.
* E - eggies in bacon and eggies.
* A - a good time eating bacon and eggies with friends.
* S - sure want some bacon and eggies.
* T - tummy, where I put my bacon and eggies.

### Culture

The culture that he belongs to is unknown, but presumed to originate from the moon.

It is warlike and based around a hunter-gatherer societal structure, hunting larger animals such as elk and pigs as well as smaller animals such as cats. Cultural dishes include bacon and eggies, the fresh blood of Ghanan orangutan, and cat boiled in salty broth.

Lawn mowing is essential due to the threat of elk coming to eat the grass and fucking their families.

The culture also engages in sporting activities such as discus.

### Weaknesses

Some of the very few known weaknesses of Manbeast are typos, mild Italian salami, eyes like swords of steel, a heart like a woman's knee, and a man who follows you around asking if you want to buy Foxtel.

## Biography

### Childhood

Manbeast claims that he was born near the river Kwai, where he used to submerge his head and use Head & Shoulders shampoo. (*Podcast Ep 61 LIVE FROM SOHO THEATRE LONDON*)

### First appearance

He was first seen insisting that his name was Manbeast for an Aunty Donna promo video. He argued that it rolled off the tongue. In the promo video, he said he would roam the world to find the woman he would love. (*Nicknames MANBEAST*)

### 1999 throwing rampage

In the 1999 Office, he approached Susan's desk saying there was a problem with his office lanyard because his name was spelt 'BRODEN' and not 'MANBEAST'. He made Susan higher up by throwing her. He approached Zach, ordering him to replace his lanyard. Zach refused, and Manbeast made him fly by throwing him. He made Rachel head of H-Yah by throwing her, and treated Zach like a discus by also throwing him. Mark tried to persuade him to stop and Manbeast attacked him, but he dodged it. He said he was afraid he'd have to throw Mark, and threw him. Eventually, he got a new lanyard and ceased his tossing. Unfortunately, it was spelt 'MANBOST'. (*Manbeast Returns*)

### Impersonation by Mark

Mark impersonated Manbeast in the backstage of the Enmore using the recently crushed dead body of Broden, and said that Manbeast was lover of milk, springing of the moon, and toucher of nuts. (*The Man Who (Part Two)*)

### Near death from salami

While at an Aussie BBQ, he noticed some salami and said it was a job for him. He introduced himself to Carmelo, who presented his Sicilian sausage. Manbeast said it was like the fresh blood of the Ghanan orangutan, and that there was barely a whimper of heat. He fell unconscious upon the table and the Paramedic attempted to resuscitate him while Zach spewed milk on his chest. (*Charlie's Salami*)

### London visit

He appeared on the Aunty Donna Podcast in London, causing the death of British Bill (due to there being too many characters at once) and meeting Frogman before throwing him away. He listed his favourite works of Shakesfrog; *Cleopatfrog*, *Romeo and Julimanbeast*, *Manbeast About Nothing*, *Manbeastony and Cleopatra*, and *Manbeth*. He said Zach should use the blood of a pig to fix the UK's weak water pressure and threw Inspector Cheddar Cheese when he was trying to explain it. (*Podcast Ep 61 LIVE FROM SOHO THEATRE LONDON*)

He met Gollum and feared the hobbit would take his ring, but Gollum explained that he just mowed lawns on a ring. Zach explained that the actual plot of the movie involved rings on a lawn, and Manbeast warned them to keep their lawns clean lest elk appear. He gave Gollum a parmesan twist, and when Mr McGregor appeared he told Gollum to pick the rings up, causing an elk to fuck Gollum's family. (*Podcast Ep 62 LIVE FROM SOHO THEATRE LONDON*)

## Appearances

* Nicknames MANBEAST
* Manbeast Returns
* The Man Who (Part Two)
* Charlie's Salami
* Podcast Ep 53 Feat. JARED JEKKYL
* Podcast Ep 61 LIVE FROM SOHO THEATRE LONDON
* Podcast Ep 62 LIVE FROM SOHO THEATRE LONDON
* Podcast Ep 189 - Talkin' bout Darts With Donna