Zombie Butcher

So, I’m in a bit of a pickle here, not in a pickle even, I got stuck in a gutter filled with rotten cucumbers. Figuratively speaking. The worst imaginable thing that could’ve happened to me happened. Well not really, I mean, not to me. I mean, Ahh fuck… Can’t even explain myself, Jesus fucking Christ.

Anyway, two days ago; I'm walking back home from the bar and it was two in the morning, I had a get-together with some friends and we had a beer. I wasn’t drunk, I think, I'm not sure given what happened afterward. I do know that I only drank one beer.

So, to cut the story short, I was making my way home out of the local bar, and my house is like a small ranch right out of town. My grandparents used to own the place, and I got it as a present when I turned twenty-one. There were no ghost stories or whatever about this place, even though it’s practically surrounded by a dark and seemingly lifeless forest. No ghost stories I know of, anyway.

We might have one now, though.

Getting ahead of myself, anyhow, I am making my way to the edge of the town and it’s dark as fuck. You can’t see three feet away from you. So, I’m just walking, casually, I mean, I didn’t need to hurry home or anything, my sister was the only person living with me and she wouldn’t care as long as I showed up home in one piece. Suddenly, I felt something tug at my arm and before I could even react something yanked off my feet and dragged by my shirt, pushing me against the wall. Everything happened so fucking fast.

Before I knew it, some emaciated, pale ass mother fucker is screeching and spewing spit all over me. I didn’t even notice the knife this cunt held up to me until he grazed my neck.

I panicked and shoved him off with all my force; he lunged at me again, like some rabid animal so I wrestled him to the ground and wrested control of his knife, I tossed that away and kicked him in the head. He didn’t move after that, so I just stormed away.

During the struggle, my phone fell out, and he stepped on the damn thing, destroying it. Trust me, this is an important detail.

I made my way home safely after that. Once home, I was about to take a shower and let myself forget the whole ordeal. I was already beginning to calm down from the whole thing when someone knocked on my door really fucking hard.

So, all pissed off I marched to the door to see who that was, I slammed the door open about to blow up at whoever it happened to me only to see that pale, emaciated son of a bitch trying to plow his way into my fucking home with his head and hands bloodied. I tried to slam the door shut, but he was trying really hard to keep it open.

I thought at the moment that I was dealing with some legit Frankenstein thing, based on his appearance and strength relative to that appearance. Not to mention how he was making all these disgusting sounds.

At this point my sister, Adrianna, came out of her room, asking what all the noise was.

Never seen her so startled in my life… I swear once she saw this mother fucker she jumped in her place.

I tried explaining that I had no idea who or what he was, but I told her that I needed her to call the cops.

Smart girl without hesitating she ran back to her room…

She came back life five seconds later, wide-eyed and without color in her skin, she said; “the batterie‘s dead…”

I screamed at the top of my lungs in frustration and at the same time this freak managed to push his lanky arm through the door and at that moment I was having none of it; so, I pulled the door back a little and then slammed it right onto his arm.

He didn’t even fucking scream!

He didn’t even feel the pain; he just kept trying to push himself inside.

I just slammed the door over and over and over his arm, and maybe in his face while screaming at Adrianna to get the baseball bat. Once she got it, I instructed her to whack him as hard as she can with it once I opened the door. She simply nodded and cocked the wooden weapon in her arms. She took the stance of a rifleman about to shoot and I let go of the door.

The creature made his way, screaming and flailing its limbs all over.

He stumbled right into Addie’s bat.

She beat him to a bloody pulp.

Addie shattered his, well, everything.

I mean; I think he was bleeding even from his nuts; there was a wet spot on his pants in between the legs.

Once he stopped moving sharply, she stopped beating him.

Not wanting whatever the fuck that was in with us, I grabbed myself a pair of gloves and carried him outside on my shoulders. Trust me, I burned the shirt and scrubbed myself like five times after that. I ended up dumping him in the forest; like twenty minutes away by foot from our ranch. Addie was walking behind me the whole time; baseball bat cocked in her arms.

Who knew a five-foot-three kid could batter someone so hard?

So yeah, we just kind of dumped him there, all battered and bloody… Oh, and yeah, he was alive or functional, anyway. He kept grunting and moaning from time to time as I carried him on my shoulders.

Fast forward to this morning, I heard on the news that the police are still looking for a deeply disturbed middle-aged man who escaped from this psychiatric ward. I immediately thought of that freak.

My heart sank when they showed the escapee's photo…

I hope we didn’t kill that man… Cause he was no monster, he was just a delusional man who stumbled onto a couple of young and impulsive siblings with no means to call the cops.