THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE

Hee-Hee, greetings kiddies.  I was HORROR-VESTING MY HUMAN-EARS OF CORN ON THE SLOB!  I like like it that my crops are locally GROAN.  I have a lot of things stored in my DIE-LO heh-heh.  I like to use a SEVERED FARM HAND now and then!  But here's a story about a family of an old FARMER IN THE HELL, who are rather DEAD-ON with their PUTRID-PLAN, that I call...

An older gentleman drove his yellow pick-up truck on a country-road, somewhere in Indiana, back the early-Fall of 1971.  He was listening to John Denver sing Take Me Home, Country Roads on his truck-radio.  He spied a really old farmhouse and pulled his truck over.  He rang the doorbell and the door opened suddenly.  "Hello.  Pardon me, is anyone here?" the gentleman called out.  "Hello, yes, come on in sir" the dry-voice of an elderly lady responded from the darkness of the farmhouse.  "Good evening ma'am, it's late at night of course, and I am meeting my old buddies tomorrow.  I am looking for a place to stay this evening please" the gentleman said, walking through the dark-front room.  "Ah, I see.  Well, you are welcome to stay here this evening sir" the dry voice of the old woman invited him.  "Is your name Anold Preslin sir?" she inquired of him from a wheelchair in the room, where she faced away from him.  "Yes ma'am.  I was a teenager at a birthday party here thirty-two years ago" the man recalled to her.  "Yes, yes.  I remember you, Arnold Preslin.  You were eighteen years old at the time.  You were a bully and tormented my Daughter and my Son!" the elderly lady coughed.  "Nedra Kingston?  No!?" Arnold Preslin gagged in horrified-shock.  A hatchet went into Arnold Preslin's back in the shadows then.

"Arnold Preslin telephoned me yesterday at noon that he was gonna be here at this bar today guys" an older man informed two other older gentlemen at a round-table in a bar the following day.  "Yeah, Duke, he's probably lost his way here here.  Timmy and Celia Kingston's farmhouse is by here.  I passed by it on my way here" one of the men spoke to him, as they guzzled bottles of Heineken Beer.  "What the heck would Arnold be doing there where we crashed Timmy's birthday party 32 years ago, Burt?" Duke wondered to him.  "Yeah that is a questioneh, Vince?" Burt agreed with him, then asked the other guy at the table.  "Let's go have a look see, guys" Vince proclaimed, chugging his bottle of Heineken Beer.

Duke, Burt and Vince drove to the farmhouse then.  "That's Arnold's truck.  He is here" Burt revealed.  Burt and Duke got the front door of the farmhouse open, while Vince broke a side-window.  Vince got inside the house and found himself in the dining-room.  "Vince, you burned my Brother Timmy on his birthday you big bully you!!" a young girl spoke to him.  Her flesh was dead-white and rotten, her eye-sockets burned holes.  The zombie girl wore a burned-dress, and her charred-long hair blew in the breeze, her charred-lips grinned a gruesome-grin of yellow teeth.  The corpse swung her hatchet at Vince, striking him in his forehead in the shadows.  The dead girl giggled as worms writhed on her pale-decayed-legs.

"Come to Mother, Celia Child!" Nedra Kingston called out to the zombie and she raced to her mother's wheelchair.  "Yes Mama" Celia told her, and Nedra rubbed her cheek with skeletal-fingers.  Burt checked the upstairs-bathroom and the lightbulb was on.  All of a sudden, the shower turned on, spraying green-slime from it.  Burt gasped and the bathtub filled up with the oozing-substance.  A corpse of a young boy was by the mirror and held a knife up.  He didn't have eyes and his long hair was burned.  The zombie had white skin that was peeling away.  It stood in its red-suspenders and smiled grotesquely at Burt.  "Timmy Kingston, but you're dead!  W-we burned you to death with your Mom and Sister!" Burt blurted out in terror at the zombie.  "Yes, Burt.  You, Vince, Duke and Arnold Preslin all beat  my Sister Celia and me up and ruined my 8th birthday party!" the zombie of Timmy Kingston uttered and stabbed Burt with the knife in the shadows of the bathroom, as slime splashed into the tub.

Duke felt the thin, boney-hands of Nedra Kingston clamp around his neck in the di-living room and she croaked in her dry-voice to him, "no escaping this time boy."  Duke woke at the dining room-table and was tied to a chair by ropes.  "Help me please!!!!!" Duke yelled, gazing at three skeletons seated at the table that were those of Burt, Vince and Arnold Preslin.  "Oh, you git to be part of our meal, Duke you bully" the zombie of Celia Kingston laughed at him.  Her pale-white hands of decay held the hatchet by the table.  "Yeah Duke, you and your bully Friends git to be my birthday meal" Timmy Kingston's zombie grinned at Duke with his knife in his white, dead-hand.  "Yes, Duke, you naughty boys burned my my Children and I alive and only their Father my Husband got outta the farmhouse" Nedra Kingston's corpse came in from the kitchen, telling him.  Her bones would grind each step she took in her blue dress, as she handed her kids each a shadowy, large napkin.  "These napkins are made from Burt's skin and the meal shall consist of your tongues Duke.  There's plenty of meat from the four of you to go around" the zombie-skeleton of Nedra Kingston laughed, scratching her boney-fingers in her grayish-hair up in a bun.  As the zombie of Celia Kingston killed Duke with the hatchet in the shadows, and elderly gentleman sighed in relief outside the farmhouse in a car.  "Finally my dear Nedra, Celia and Timmy, you're all rectified now!" he muttered with a smile, hearing them laugh.

Well, those bullies keep on MEATING THAT FAMILY eh, girls and boys?  Timmy and Nedra had FRIGHT A PLAN, and it took Celia to HATCHET!  Looks like even though that'll be Arnold Preslin, Duke, Vince and Burt's last MIS-STEAK, there will still be pleanty STEAKS TO GO AROUND aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!