DC Pierson, Our Close Friend

**"DC Pierson, Our Close Friend"** is the twenty-third episode of Hollywood Handbook.

Official Earwolf Page

## Earwolf Synopsis

Sean and Hayes start the show off by discussing a trend in media lately that they love: rando humor, or comedy that comes out of nowhere! Then, close friend of the show DC PIERSON joins the guys to walk through the evolution of video, share some exclusive tips for what to do when going to auditions, and chat about learning lines, Disneyland, and how to one-up your competition in the waiting room.

## Notes & Memorable Quotes

### Pre-Guest Segment

* Sean talking over the theme: "Uh... excuse me fucking cueball loser, no cuts no buts no coconuts back of the line bub, and then somebody goes, 'do you know who that is? that's the Dalai Lama', and I was like I don't care if it's fuckin', dalai... barbie dollie, just get the fuck out of the line."
* Sean and Hayes can't get enough of random (Rando) Humor, hit you with a WTF right up on the side of the head
* Comedy's about surprise!
* Leave random humor to the pros, random humor in the wrong hands can be very predictable and therefore not funny
* EVAN RANDO: riding on unicorns. Want to step it up? Something's coming out of its butt: rainbows or money if it's good rando. Two animals fighting, then talking to each other. Hayes will buy those cookies
* Anything from any era being in the modern stuff (caveman, knight, moonman, eskimo, viking, pirate, big crawling bug, dinosaur man): ultimate rando
* Hayes talks about commercials that talk about thing they're selling. The product reveal is rando, and then you buy something that is rando. That's the bravest kind of rando.
* Hayes and Sean try to come up with rando ideas from commercials:
	+ Like a Genie that could shoot laser beams and stuff
	+ You're on Jupiter but like looking for your pet raccoon
	+ A microphone that squirts pee on you
	+ Being friends with and doing square dance with a walrus

### Guest Segment

* Hayes talking over the theme about how he can't sleep without his humadator and starts his morning with his eight glasses of water, or else he's pure toxins!
* Hayes and Sean talk to DC Pierson about various media outlets. WebTV, Broadcast.com
* Favorite players: there's a reason it's called Real Player. They've never really improved from (For The) Winamp.
* Hayes loves the Comedy Central player. Lots of commercials, then it stops, and up to 40 seconds of content. Then the commercials come back in!
* Sean and Hayes brought DC in to talk about auditions. The real audition takes place outside the audition room, in the waiting room
* Sean says "No thanks" to *Ringu,* give him the American one with Naomi Watts
* Sean and DC Pierson do a roleplaying scene over a script that Sean wrote, where DC is auditioning for the part, how he handles the waiting room
* Try and make it so you know someone in the waiting room
* DC and some of his guys really like to go to Disneyland! Sean "Dude, I love Disney!" They're all still kids. Hayes has the Silver Pass, he's losing money by not going. The other day DC was in his car and realized he wasn't at Disney and started screaming: "...Aw man! Fuck! fffFUCK!"
* Everyone agrees the proper way to refer to the person you're seeing is 'Girl' can't say girlfriend because that leads to assume you're gonna get married. And your girl reffers to you as your full name and lists your credits
* Sean has trouble role playing that he hasn't been to Nepal, while DC is trying to teach the listener how to scoff when someone hasn't been somewhere that you have
* Sean to DC: "So I was just in Nepal.. do you like it?" "Whoa, haven't to Nepal.. (sing-songy) awk-ward!" "Right, yeah. But what's your favorite part of it--OH! You were serious. Oh.. uh.. that's ok, man! Hey-uh. I gotta fuckin' make a deuce!" and then he's splitsville. If Hayes is in the casting office he might send everyone home at that point, that guy's so good
* It's so funny how bad *Baby's Day Out Is.* It's sucks so bad, they love it
* Everyone also agrees that two women into each other is super hot, and they're really only into it for the guys. And they should legalize it, in fact they should be forced to hook up.
* DC has a lot of Pixies baby tees picked out
* Have you guys heard about Waze!?

## Recurring Segments

* Pro Version - ~~Gotye~~ Andy Kneis - Prize is DC Pierson reacting to his name on an audition sign-in sheet. "Andy Kneis?! One word: chops."

## Recurring Jokes

* Rando - Hayes and Sean spend the entire pre-guest segment speaking of various rando things
* One Eighth Native American - Marlin Rando really pisses Sean off with her deer skined feather uniformed freako type persona. Sean knows when you want to parlay with the other tribe you send the chief or the rainstick man or a medicine man. Not a squaw.
* Lauffing - Two animals fighting or talking to each other is so rando really makes Sean lauff especially if like the bear does a samurai move and says Hi-ya! Or if Mr. T who's so tough doing something that a pussy would do like a real little bitch, like it's normal, mm hello!
* Speak on That - DC asks Hayes to speak on various video player ads. Sean asks DC to speak on soaps. Sean asks DC Pierson to speak on the fact that we don't learn lines, we're all born knowing our lines.
* Doing a Scene - DC displays how to properly audition in the waiting room at the audition

## Ads

* Earwolf store ad everything is free if you get your own podcast! Just pitch your idea to Scott Anchorman, and Jeff Ulrich and you'll be swimming in all this cool merch just like Sean and Hayes! You better booo-lieve it, and that's a ghost saying that!

## Episode Photos

*(left to right)* Hayes Davenport, DC Pierson, Sean ClementsHayes, Sean, and DC Pierson in the studioSean and DC Pierson in the studioHayes in the studio