Star Wars Movies in the Future

Sometimes you have to get creative if you want to capitalize on a genius brand like STAR WARS! Watch these BRILLIANT Disney execs in action!!!

## Transcript

Jason: Congratulations, team, on the successful release of our 10,000th Star Wars film, *Don Solo: The Epic Story of Han's Seventh Cousin Twice Removed*.
James: Well done.
Jason: Now, as profitable as the Star Wars franchise has been to Disney, I think we can all agree it's time to move on, to pursue a more meaningful endeavor.

Tori: Stop it!
James: Oh, oh, oh. You had me going!
Jason: But seriously, I need ten new Star Wars films before lunch.

Adam: Okay. I know we've already made 197 movies about Luke's backstory, but what if we show him at the Jedi Temple exchanging some oversized robes? We could call it "*Returns of the Jedi*".
Jason: I love it. Next!

James: A shot-for-shot remake of *Empire Strikes Back*, except we replace Darth Vader's lightsaber with... a smaller Darth Vader.
Tori: Oh, cool.
Jason: That is bold. But, as Yoda once said: "Do or do not, as long as money it makes".

James: I also propose that we return to George Lucas's original vision, and replace the Jawas with CGI Lucases.
Jason: Yes, yes, I like it.

Tori: Okay, now, speaking of bold ideas, um, in *The Phantom Menace*, they talk about midichlorians-
Jason: Uh, definitely the worst part about that movie... because they didn't go into enough detail!
Tori: Exactly! Now, how about we Magic School Bus this thing, and we have a cartoon Qui-Gon Jinn in a microscopic spaceship inside Anakin, explaining how the Force works?
Jason: Yes. Real nerds will love it for the science, and fake nerds will love it... for Star Wars. But how do we attract the jocks?

James: We make a sports-themed movie about an undersized 7'3" Catholic Wookie, whose only dream is to play football for Notre Dame, called "Chewie".
Jason: Yes! Now, what other completely original ideas do we have?

Adam: Sixty-five million years ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Darth Maul's great-great-great-grandfather gets bitten by a space mosquito, which is then preserved in space tree sap, until a space scientist space-extracts it. We call it "*Jurassic Park: Space*".
Jason: Wow. Wow. These are great, guys, but there is one incredibly obvious idea that, honestly, I'm kind of ashamed you've all overlooked.
Tori: We've... we've thought of everything. There are no ideas left in the idea Jar Jar.
**Jar Jar**: Meesa back.

Jason: Does this photo look familiar?
James: Yes. And we've created an individual film for each one of these stormtroopers.
Jason: Even him?!
James: Argh!
Tori: Oh!
James: How could we have been so blind?
Jason: This left foot belonged to someone, and just because that someone is a clone, with an identical backstory to everyone else, doesn't mean that we can treat him like he was a piece of Bantha poo-doo! Especially considering we once made a Star Wars film with just the opening crawl!
Adam: So we give him a trilogy.
Jason: So we give him a saga. But we start with film four, then five, then two, eight, then one, six, nine, three, and finally seven, which we split into three parts.

Jeremy: Hey, sorry to interrupt, but Pixar just called. They need ideas for Cars 4.
Jason: Wow. Pixar's getting desperate.
James: One, two, three, four.
Adam: How do you make a sequel?
Jason: Uh, Wall-E 2!