Best of Spike

**Best of Spike** is a My Little Pony/Thomas parody of the Thomas and Friends US video, Best of Thomas. It features three first season episodes, one second season episode, two third season episodes and two fourth season episodes of Spike the Dragon and Friends narrated by George Carlin and Ringo Starr, and a song.

## Cast

* Spike as Thomas
* Shining Armor as Edward
* Filthy Rich as Henry
* Big Macintosh as Gordon
* Cranky Doodle Donkey as James
* Pipsqueak as Percy
* Braeburn as Toby
* Hondo Flanks as Douglas
* Noteworthy as Stepney
* Slinky (from Toy Story) as Rusty
* Apple Bloom as Annie
* Sweetie Belle as Clarabel
* Changelings as The Troublesome Trucks
* Buffaloes as The Coaches
* The Red Dragon (from the episode, Dragonshy) as The Chinese Dragon
* Angel as Bertie
* Gummy as Trevor
* Hoity Toity as Sir Topham Hatt
* Soarin as Duck (*does not speak*)
* Night Light as Donald (*cameo*)
* Discord as Diesel (*cameo*)
* Scootaloo as Henrietta (*cameo*)
* Goldie Delicious as Mrs. Kyndley (*cameo*)
* Everyone else as Themselves

## Episodes

1. Spike Gets Bumped
2. A New Friend for Spike
3. Spike, Pipsqueak and the Dragon
4. Spike Saves the Day
5. Trouble For Spike
6. Spike and Noteworthy
7. A Big Day for Spike
8. Spike Meets The Queen

## Transcript

### Spike Gets Bumped

Narrator: "Every afternoon, Spike puffs along his route with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. First, they pass the water mill. Next, they come to a big farm. Then, they can see a bridge with a village nestled either side of it.

This is a special place. Whenever children hear Spike coming along, they stand on the bridge, waving until he is out of sight.

One day, Spike was running late. He had stopped at a red light before the bridge to talk to some new children. Pipsqueak was waiting, too."

Pipsqueak: "Hurry up, Spike."

Narrator: "Called Pipsqueak, when the light turned green."

Pipsqueak: "If you're late, Hoity Toity might get a new animal to replace you."

Spike: "He would never do that!"

Narrator: "Thought Spike, but he was worried.

Next day, Spike hurried along the path. Just ahead was the goods yard. There, on the platform, was an inspector waving a red flag.

Next, Spike saw some children. They were waving too."

Spike: "Something must be wrong."

Narrator: "Thought Spike."

Spike: "This station's for goods, not passengers."

Children: "Help, Spike, help! We're glad to see you again."

Narrator: "Called the children."

Children: "Please, will you take us home?"

Narrator: "The stationmaster explained to Spike's driver that the school bus had broken down, and all the parents would be worried if the children were late.

Spike waited as the children walked down from the bridge. Then he took the children to the next station, where Angel was waiting to take them home.

When Spike finished his journey, he was very late. He was worried that Hoity Toity might be cross with him."

Pipsqueak: "I warned Spike."

Narrator: "Puffed Pipsqueak to Cranky."

Pipsqueak: "He's been late one time too many."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "He'll be in trouble now."

Narrator: "But next morning, when Spike came to pick up his passengers, Hoity Toity was nowhere else to be seen."

Spike: "Thank goodness."

Narrator: "Sighed Spike.

Spike knows every part of his route. But just ahead was a stretch where the hot sun had bent the road."

Spike's Driver: "Careful, Spike!"

Narrator: "Called his driver. But it was too late."

Spike's Driver: "That's done it!"

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Spike's Driver: "We shan't get any further today!"

Spike: "But what about my passengers?"

Narrator: "Asked Spike."

Spike's Driver: "Don't worry, they'll be looked after."

Narrator: "Replied his driver.

While workmen repaired the road, Spike had to work with changelings in the yard. Angel came to see him."

Angel: "I understand you need my help again."

Spike: "Yes, Angel."

Narrator: "Replied Spike sadly."

Spike: "I can't run without my road."

Narrator: "Angel set off to collect Spike's passengers."

Passengers: "Hello, Angel."

Narrator: "They said."

Passengers: "We're glad you're here."

Narrator: "Angel ran along the road that runs by Spike's path. He stopped at each station along the path. Sometimes he stopped between stations to let people off closer to their homes. Spike felt miserable."

Spike: "I've lost all my passengers to Angel. They'll like him better than me."

Narrator: "Hoity Toity arrived."

Hoity Toity: "Your route is been repaired. I'm going to change your timetable so that you and Angel can work together more."

Narrator: "When Spike reached the station, there, to his relief, were all his passengers."

Passengers: "Angel is a good rabbit, but we missed our rides with you."

Narrator: "They all said.

Later, Spike spoke to Angel."

Spike: "Thank you for looking after my passengers."

Angel: "That's all right, Spike. I like to make new friends, but I'm glad to share them with you."

Spike: "You're a good friend, indeed."

Narrator: "Replied Spike."

Spike: "And always will be."

### A New Friend for Spike

Narrator: "Gummy the baby alligator enjoyed his work in the vicarage orchard. Shining Armor came to see him everyday, but somehow, Gummy was feeling lonely."

Gummy: "I do like to like to keep busy everytime."

Narrator: "He sighed one day."

Gummy: "And I do like company, especially children's company."

Shining Armor: "Cheer up."

Narrator: "Smiled Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "Hoity Toity has work for you at his new harbor. I'm sinding you to meet Spike today."

Gummy: "Oh!"

Narrator: "Exclaimed Gummy happily."

Gummy: "The harbor! The seaside! Children! That will be lwonderful!"

Narrator: "Spike was on his way to the harbor with a load of metal pilings. There were needed to make the harbor wall firm and safe."

Shining Armor: "Hello, Spike."

Narrator: "Said Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "This is Gummy, a friend of mine. He's a baby alligator."

Narrator: "Spike eyed the newcomer doubtfully."

Spike: "A what alligator?"

Gummy: "A baby alligator."

Narrator: "Explained Gummy."

Gummy: "I travel in water instead of roads. Will you take me to the harbor, please? Hoity Toity has a job for me."

Spike: "Yes, of course."

Narrator: "Replied Spike. But he was still puzzled.

Workmen gave Gummy to Spike, and soon, they were ready to start their journey."

Gummy: "I'm glad Hoity Toity needs me."

Narrator: "Called Gummy."

Gummy: "I don't have enough to do sometimes, you know, Although, I can work anywhere. In orchards, on farms, in scrapyards, even at harbors."

Spike: "But you don't run on the roads."

Narrator: "Puffed Spike."

Gummy: "I'm a baby alligator. I don't need roads to be really useful."

Narrator: "Replied Gummy."

Gummy: "You just wait and see."

Narrator: "When they reached the harbor, they found everything in confusion. Changelings were blocking the roads, and stone slabs lay everywhere."

Spike's Driver: "We must get these pilings past."

Narrator: "Said Spike's driver."

Spike's Driver: "They are essential. Gummy, we need you to drag them around this mess."

Gummy: "Just the sort of job I like."

Narrator: "Replied Gummy."

Gummy: "Now you'll see Spike. I'll soon show you what baby alligators can do."

Narrator: "Gummy was as good as his word. He dragged the pilings clear with chains, and towed them into place."

Gummy: "Who needs roads?"

Narrator: "He muttered cheerfully to himself.

Later, Spike brought Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle to meet him. Spike was most impressed."

Spike: "Now I understand how useful a baby alligator can be."

Narrator: "The fillies had lots of children. Gummy gave them rides along the harbor. He liked this once and for all."

Apple Bloom: "He's very kind."

Narrator: "Said Apple Bloom."

Sweetie Belle: "He reminds me of Spike."

Narrator: "Added Sweetie Belle.

Everyone was sorry when it was time for Gummy to go home. Spike took him to the junction.

A small tear came into Gummy's eye. Spike was determened not to see. He whistled gaily to make Gummy happy."

Spike: "I'll come and see you if I can."

Narrator: "He promised."

Spike: "The vicar will look after you, and there's plenty of work for you from now at the orchard. But we may need you at the harbor again someday."

Gummy: "That would be lovely."

Narrator: "Said Gummy.

That evening, Gummy stood remember his new friend, Spike, the harbor and most of all, the children. Then he went happily to sleep in the house at the bottom of the orchard."

### Spike, Pipsqueak and the Dragon

Narrator: "Spike and Pipsqueak are good friends, but sometimes Pipsqueak teases Spike about being frightened and he doesn't like that at all.

One evening he was dozing happily, but Pipsqueak wanted to talk."

Pipsqueak: "Wake up, Spike. Are you dreaming about the time you thought I was a ghost?"

Spike: "Certainly not. Anyway, I was only pretending to be scared. I knew it was fuck you really."

Narrator: "Pipsqueak went on teasing him."

Pipsqueak: "I hope the guard leaves the light on for you tonight."

Spike: "Why?"

Narrator: "Asked Spike."

Spike: "I quite like the dark."

Pipsqueak: "Oh really?"

Narrator: "Exclaimed Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "I am surprised. I always thought you were afraid of the dark. I wonder why that is?"

Narrator: "Spike decided to say nothing and went to sleep instead.

Next day, Hoity Toity came to see him."

Hoity Toity: "I would like you to go to the harbour tonight to collect something rather unusual."

Spike: "What sort of something?"

Narrator: "Asked Spike."

Hoity Toity: "Wait and see."

Narrator: "Replied Hoity Toity.

Meanwhile, Pipsqueak was moving some changelings into a siding. Filthy Rich arrived with his goods load. The signalman cleared the path and Pipsqueak waited on the siding until Filthy Rich had steamed by.

Then, there was trouble ahead."

Signalman: "The path is fucking blocked."

Narrator: "Called the signalman."

Signalman: "I can't clear it for Pipsqueak. The workmen will have to clear it up in the morning. It's too fucking late now."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "Hmm."

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak's driver."

Pipsqueak's Driver: "I'm sorry, Pipsqueak. But you will have to stay here for the night."

Pipsqueak: "Where are you going?"

Narrator: "Asked Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak's Fireman: "Home for tea."

Narrator: "Replied the fireman. Pipsqueak was speechless.

He watched as the other animals went home. Nighttime came and Pipsqueak began to feel very lonely."

Pipsqueak: "Oh dear."

Narrator: "He murmured."

Pipsqueak: "It's very dark.

OH! OH! What was that?!"

Narrator: "It was only an owl, but Pipsqueak didn't realize this."

Pipsqueak: "Oh, I wish Spike were here too."

Narrator: "He sighed.

Spike was waiting for his mysterious load at the harbour. Suddenly, there is was."

Spike: "Cinders and Ashes!"

Narrator: "Cried Spike."

Spike: "It's a big dragon!"

Spike's Driver: "Don't worry."

Narrator: "Laughed his driver."

Spike's Driver: "This dragon is for the carnival tomorrow."

Narrator: "Workmen lifted the dragon onto Spike's wagon and put lights all around it for protection. Then, Spike set off into the misty night.

Pipsqueak was asleep on his siding and had no idea that Spike was approaching him.

Pipsqueak woke up with a start."

Pipsqueak: "Help!"

Narrator: "Cried Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "I'm not going to open my eyes until my fucking driver comes."

Narrator: "Next morning the path was cleared and Pipsqueak puffed back to the junction. Big Macintosh was just about to leave with his buffaloes."

Pipsqueak: "You'll never guess what I saw last night."

Narrator: "Big Mac was in no mood for puzzles."

Big Macintosh: "I'm a busy horse. I don't have time for your games."

Pipsqueak: "I've seen a huge dragon. It was covered in lights."

Narrator: "Big Mac snorted."

Big Macintosh: "You've been in the sun too long. Your head has cracked."

Narrator: "When the other animals heard the news, they laughed too."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Look out, Pipsqueak!"

Narrator: "Chuckled Cranky."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Or the dragon may gobble you up!"

Pipsqueak: "No one believes me."

Narrator: "Huffed Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Maybe I did imagine the dragon after all."

Narrator: "But Pipsqueak soon found out that he hadn't."

Pipsqueak: "Help! Save me!"

Narrator: "Cried Pipsqueak."

Spike: "It's alright."

Narrator: "Whistled Spike. And, he explained about the carnival."

Spike: "By the way, how was your night out?"

Narrator: "Pipsqueak decided to tell Spike the truth."

Spike: "Well, Pipsqueak."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "Maybe we do get scared sometimes, but if we're not afraid to tell each other, then that means we're quite brave too."

### Spikes Saves the Day

Narrator: "Every day, Hoity Toity came to the station to see the animals."

Hoity Toity: "Hello."

Narrator: "He always said to Spike."

Hoity Toity: "Don't let the silly changelings tease you. And remember, you have important job as a special helper in the yard."

Narrator: "There were lots of changelings, and Spike worked very hard pushing and pulling them into place. There was also a small trailer and two strange things his driver called cranes."

Spike's Driver: "That's the breakdown crane."

Narrator: "He told Spike."

Spike's Driver: "The cranes are for lifting heavy things, like animals and changelings."

Narrator: "One day, Spike was in the yard. Suddenly, he heard a donkey screaming."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Help! Help!"

Narrator: "A donkey came rushing through, much too fast. The donkey was Cranky Doodle Donkey, and he was frightened. His feet were on fire."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "They're pushing me, they're pushing me!"

Narrator: "He panted."

Changelings: "On, on!"

Narrator: "Laughed the changelings.

Still screaming,"

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Help! Help!"

Narrator: "Poor Cranky disappeared."

Spike: "I'd like to teach those changelings a lesson."

Narrator: "Said Spike the Dragon.

Soon came the alarm."

Signalman: "Cranky's off the line, the breakdown crane, quickly!"

Narrator: "Spike grabbed the crane, and off they went.

Spike worked his hardest."

Spike: "Hurry, hurry, hurry!"

Narrator: "He puffed. He wasn't pretending to be like Big Macintosh; he really meant it."

Spike: "Bother those changelings and their tricks. I hope poor Cranky is alright."

Narrator: "Cranky's driver and fireman were feeling him all over, to see if he wasn't alright."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver and Fireman: "Never mind, Cranky."

Narrator: "They said."

Cranky Doodle Donkey's Driver and Fireman: "It was those silly changelings and your old wooden feet that cause the accident."

Narrator: "Spike pushed the breakdown crane alongside. Then he pulled away the unhurt changelings."

Changelings: "Oh, dear, oh, dear!"

Narrator: "They groaned."

Spike: "Serves you right, serves you right!"

Narrator: "Puffed Spike.

He was hard at work, puffing backwards and forwards all day."

Spike: "This will teach you a lesson. This will teach you a lesson."

Narrator: "He told the changelings.

And they answered,"

Changelings: "Yes it will, yes it will."

Narrator: "They left the broken changelings, then with two cranes, they put Cranky back on the line.

He tried to move, but he couldn't, so Spike helped him back home.

Hoity Toity was waiting anxiously for them."

Hoity Toity: "Well, Spike,"

Narrator: "He said,"

Hoity Toity: "I've heard all about it, and I'm very impressed with you. You're a really useful dragon.

Cranky shall have some proper feet and some new fur, and you shall have a route all to yourself."

Spike: "Oh, thank you, sir!"

Narrator: "Said Spike.

Now Spike is as happy as ever can be. He has a route, and two fillies called Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. He puffs proudly backwards and forwards with them all day long.

He has never been lonely. Shining Armor and Filthy Rich stop quite often and tell him the news.

Big Mac is always in a hurry, but never forgets to whistle to Spike, and Spike always whistles in return."

### Trouble For Spike

Narrator: "Spike the Dragon wouldn't stop being a nuisance. Night after night, he kept the other animals awake."

Spike: "I'm tired of pushing buffaloes. I want to see the world."

Narrator: "The other animals didn't take much notice, for Spike was a little dragon with a long tongue.

But one night, Shining Armor came to the library. He was a kind unicorn and felt sorry for Spike."

Shining Armor: "I've got some changelings to take home tomorrow. If you take them instead of me, I'll push buffaloes in Ponyville."

Spike: "Thank you."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "That will be nice."

Narrator: "Next morning, Shining Armor and Spike asked their drivers, and when they said "Yes", Spike ran off happily to find changelings.

Now, the changelings are silly and noisy. They talk a lot and don't pay attention to what they are doing. And I'm sorry to say, they play tricks on an animal who is not used to them. Shining Armor know all about changelings. He warned Spike to be careful, but Spike was too excited to listen.

The shunter fastened the arms, and when the light changed, Spike was ready. The conductor blew his whistle."

Spike: "Peep! Peep!"

Narrator: "Answered Spike, and started off. But the changelings weren't ready."

Changelings: "Oh, oh!"

Narrator: "They screamed."

Changelings: "Wait, Spike, wait."

Narrator: "But Spike wouldn't wait."

Spike: "Come on, come on."

Narrator: "He puffed."

Changelings: "All right, don't fuss, all right, don't fuss."

Narrator: "Grumbled the changelings.

Spike began going faster and faster."

Spike: "Wheeeeesh!"

Narrator: "He whistled as he rushed through Filthy Rich's tunnel."

Spike: "Hurry, hurry!"

Narrator: "Called Spike. He was feeling very proud of himself. But the changelings grew crosser and crosser. At last Spike slowed down as he came to Big Macintosh's hill."

Spike's Driver: "Steady now, steady."

Narrator: "Warned the driver as they reached the top. He began to put on the brakes."

Spike: "We're stopping, we're stopping."

Narrator: "Called Spike."

Changelings: "No, no, no!"

Narrator: "Answered the changelings, bumping into one another."

Changelings: "Go on, go on!"

Narrator: "Before the driver could stop them, they had pushed Spike down the hill and were rattling and laughing behind him.

Poor Spike tried hard to stop them from making him go way too fast."

Spike: "Stop pushing, stop pushing!"

Narrator: "He hissed. But the changelings took no notice."

Changelings: "Go on, go on!"

Narrator: "They giggled in their silly way."

Spike: "There's the station. Oh dear, what shall I do?"

Narrator: "He cried. They rattled straight through and swerved into the goods yard. Spike shut his eyes."

Spike: "I must stop!"

Narrator: "When he opened his eyes, he saw he had stopped just in front of the buffers. There watching him was... Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "What are you doing here, Spike?"

Narrator: "He asked."

Spike: "I've brought Shining Armor's changelings."

Narrator: "Spike answered."

Hoity Toity: "Why did you come so fast?"

Spike: "I didn't mean to. I was pushed."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Hoity Toity: "You've got a lot to learn about changelings, Spike. After pushing them about here for a few weeks, you'll know almost as much about them as Shining Armor. Then you'll be a Really Useful Dragon."

### Spike and Noteworthy

Narrator: "Spike the Dragon was feeling very happy. His scales shone in the sun, he was right on time, and all around his route, the countryside seemed prettier than ever before."

Spike: "Good morning, Pipsqueak."

Narrator: "He whistled."

Spike: "My route is the pride of Ponyville. Wouldn't you agree?"

Pipsqueak: "Uh, yes, Spike, of course, But uh,"

Spike: "But what Pipsqueak? Out with it!"

Pipsqueak: "Well, there is a pony with a famous route too?"

Spike: "Who? Where?"

Pipsqueak: "His name is Noteworthy. He's faraway, but Hoity Toity says he might visit us."

Spike: "When?"

Pipsqueak: "Oh, someday."

Narrator: "And Pipsqueak hurried away.

Meanwhile Noteworthy was walking steadily along his route. It isn't very long, and that made him feel a little sad. Later he saw Slinky, the slinky dog who had helped saved Noteworthy from death."

Noteworthy: "Everyone's been so kind. But my route is so short and I do miss a good long run on my visit."

Slinky: "I think you should tell driver too."

Narrator: "Replied Slinky."

Slinky: "I'm sure he'll understand."

Narrator: "Noteworthy soon discovered that indeed he did."

Noteworthy's Driver: "Do you know, Noteworthy? I feel just the same way."

Narrator: "That evening, he had exciting news."

Noteworthy's Driver: "Guess what, Noteworthy? Hoity Toity has invited us to visit the other animals in Ponyville. Manager agreed. But it'll be a really long run to get there."

Noteworthy: "Oh, thank you sir."

Narrator: "Sighed Noteworthy. They set off on their important mision.

But now, all the other animals were talking about Noteworthy."

Pipsqueak: "He runs a famous route. Did you know that?"

Narrator: "Said Pipsqueak. Spike was feeling a little jealous."

Spike: "Huh! It may be famous, but my route is the first in town. Everyone knows that too."

Narrator: "And he huffed away to fetch his fillies."

Pipsqueak: "Look!"

Narrator: "Squeaked Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Why have they all come? There's no pony yet."

Narrator: "But Pipsqueak was wrong. The signal dropped, and from faraway a pony whistled."

Hondo Flanks: "Here he comes!"

Narrator: "Yelled Hondo Flanks.

Noteworthy walked proudly through the junction."

Shining Armor: "I hope you meet Spike too."

Narrator: "Said Shining Armor."

Shining Armor: "You both have routes to be proud of."

Narrator: "Then Noteworthy set off to help Soarin move buffaloes in the yard, and they worked happily together all afternoon.

At last, Spike arrived."

Spike: "Sorry, can't talk. It's time for my last delivery. Mustn't be late."

Narrator: "He was hardly out of sight when the ponies heard shouting at the station. Moments later came the alarm."

Passengers: "Stop all animals!"

Narrator: "The signalman answered the telephone."

Signalman: "A special is it? I see."

Narrator: "Spike was impatient."

Spike: "Why are we waiting? My passengers are being delayed."

Spike's Driver: "Sorry, Spike."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Spike's Driver: "We're being shunted to allow another pony to pass."

Narrator: "Soon they heard an unfamiliar sound. There was Noteworthy with his headlamp swang and whistle blowing. He gathered speed and disappeared."

Spike: "Well bust my scales!"

Narrator: "Said Spike the Dragon.

Next morning, he was still fuming."

Spike: "Shunted! And on my own route too! It's a disgrace!"

Noteworthy: "I'm sorry."

Narrator: "Said Noteworthy."

Noteworthy: "I was a special."

Spike: "Why?"

Noteworthy: "An important passenger arrived just as you left. He ordered a special load and Soarin let me take it.

We had a splendid run, but uh..."

Spike: "But,"

Narrator: "Finished Spike."

Spike: "It can make an animal nervous not to know the route."

Noteworthy: "Exactly."

Narrator: "Said Noteworthy."

Noteworthy: "You're such an expert."

Narrator: "Spike felt much better. He couldn't be cross anymore and began telling Noteworthy all about his route."

### A Big Day for Spike

Narrator: "Spike the Dragon was grumbling to the other animals."

Spike: "I spend my time pulling buffaloes about, ready for you to take out on journeys."

Narrator: "The other animals laughed."

Spike: "Why can't I take passengers, too?"

Big Macintosh: "You're too impatient."

Narrator: "They all said."

Big Macintosh: "You'd be sure to leave something else behind."

Spike: "Rubbish!"

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "I'll show you."

Narrator: "One night, he and Filthy Rich were alone. Filthy Rich was ill. The men worked hard, but he didn't get better.

He felt just as bad next morning. Filthy Rich usually took the first passengers, and Spike had to get his buffaloes ready."

Spike: "If Filthy Rich is ill,"

Narrator: "He thought."

Spike: "Perhaps I shall take his buffaloes."

Narrator: "Spike ran to find the buffaloes."

Spike: "Come along, come along!"

Narrator: "He fussed."

Buffaloes: "There's plenty of time, there's plenty of time."

Narrator: "They grumbled.

Spike took them to the platform, and wanted to run round in front at once.

But his driver wouldn't let him."

Spike's Driver: "Don't be impatient, Spike!"

Narrator: "Spike waited and waited.

The people got on board, the conductor and stationmaster walked up and down, the porter secured the buffaloes, and still, Filthy Rich didn't come. Spike got more and more excited.

Hoity Toity came to see what was the matter, and the conductor and stationmaster told him about Filthy Rich."

Hoity Toity: "Find another animal."

Narrator: "He offered."

Conductor and Stationmaster: "There's only Spike."

Narrator: "They said."

Hoity Toity: "You'll have to do it then, Spike. Be quick now."

Narrator: "So Spike ran round to the front and back down on the buffaloes ready to start."

Spike's Driver: "Let's not be impatient, Spike."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Spike's Driver: "We'll wait till' everything is ready."

Narrator: "But Spike was too excited to listen.

What happened then, nobody knows. Perhaps the first buffalo forgot to grab Spike, or perhaps Spike was given the signal by mistake. Anyhow, Spike started without his buffaloes. As they passed the first signal tower, men waved and shouted, but he didn't stop."

Spike: "They're waving because I'm such a splendid dragon.

Narrator: "He thought importantly."

Spike: "Filthy Rich says it's hard to pull buffaloes, but I think it's easy.

Hurry, hurry, hurry!"

Narrator: "He puffed, pretending to be like Big Mac."

Spike: "People have never seen me taking passengers before. It's nice of them to wave."

Narrator: "And he whistled."

Spike: "Thank you."

Narrator: "Then he came to a signal at 'Danger'."

Spike: "Bother!"

Narrator: "He thought."

Spike: "I must stop, and I was going so nicely, too! What a nuisance signals are."

Narrator: "He blew an angry whistle.

The signalman ran up."

Signalman: "Hello, Spike."

Narrator: "He said."

Signalman: "What are you doing here?"

Spike: "I'm pulling buffaloes."

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "Can't you see?"

Signalman: "Where are your buffaloes, then?"

Narrator: "Spike looked back."

Spike: "Why, bless me!"

Narrator: "He said."

Spike: "If we haven't left them all behind!"

Signalman: "Yes."

Narrator: "Said the signalman."

Signalman: "You'd better go back quickly and fetch them."

Narrator: "Poor Spike was so sad, he barely cried.

Spike's Driver: "Cheer up."

Narrator: "Said his driver."

Spike's Driver: "Let's go back quickly and try it again."

Narrator: "At the station, all the passengers were talking at once. They were telling Hoity Toity what a bad place Ponyville was. But when Spike came back, they saw how sad he was, and didn't want to be cross.

He held on to the buffaloes, and this time he really pulled them.

Afterwards, the other animals laughed at Spike and said,"

Filthy Rich and Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Look, there's Spike, who wanted to take some passengers, but forgot about the buffaloes!"

Narrator: "But Spike had already learned not to make the same mistake again."

### Spike Meets The Queen

Narrator: "Big Macintosh the Red Horse and Spike the Dragon walked together back home. It had been a busy day.

First, Spike had teased Big Mac about the time the big buffalo had slid into a ditch.

Then, Spike fell down a mine, and Big Mac came to his rescue."

Big Macintosh: "Remember Spike,"

Narrator: "Called Big Mac grandly."

Big Macintosh: "United we stand, together we fall. You help me, and I'll help you."

Spike: "I'll remember."

Narrator: "Replied Spike."

Spike: "But I hope Hoity Toity forgives us soon."

Narrator: "Suddenly, they noticed something. As the two animals whistled into the sheds, everywhere they look, they saw paint pots and painters."

Spike: "Bust my scales!"

Narrator: "Said Spike."

Spike: "What's happening?"

Pipsqueak: "Shhht."

Narrator: "Whispered Pipsqueak."

Pipsqueak: "Hoity Toity is going to tell us now."

Hoity Toity: "Ladies and gentlemen and animals, I'm an honor to inform you that her majesty, the Queen herself is coming here to visit us. Now, on with the celebration."

Narrator: "The animals wondered who would pull the royal cart."

Shining Armor: "I'm too old to pull important carts."

Narrator: "Said Shining Armor sadly."

Big Macintosh: "I'm in disgrace."

Narrator: "Sighed Big Mac."

Cranky Doodle Donkey: "He'll choose me, of course."

Narrator: "Boasted Cranky."

Filthy Rich: "You?"

Narrator: "Snorted Filthy Rich."

Filthy Rich: "You can't climb hill! He'll ask me to pull the cart, and I'll have some new fur."

Narrator: "Then, the rain came.

Filthy Rich's fireman and driver covered up to keep dry. A painter was on the ladder above the road. Filthy Rich's dust went blowing high into the air. The painter couldn't see. Both him and the paint pot fell all over Filthy Rich.

Poor Filthy Rich."

Painter: "Well, you aren't a pretty picture!"

Narrator: "Sneered the painter.

Hoity Toity spoke next."

Hoity Toity: "You look like an iced cake, Filthy Rich. That's no good for the royal cart. I must make some other arrangements."

Narrator: "Big Mac and Spike were waiting on him."

Big Macintosh and Spike: "Please, sir."

Hoity Toity: "One at a time."

Narrator: "Replied Hoity Toity."

Hoity Toity: "Yes, Big Mac?"

Big Macintosh: "May Spike have his route again?"

Hoity Toity: "Hmm.

I think you both apoligize and deserve a treat. Shining Armor will go in front to clear the road, Spike will look after the carts and Big Mac will pull the royal cart."

Narrator: "The great day came. All the animals worked hard bringing people to the town.

Spike sorted out their carts in the yard.

Shining Armor walked in."

Shining Armor: "Peep! The queen is here!"

Narrator: "Then, Big Macintosh whistled as he approached the station. Everybody knew that sound.

The queen's cart glided into the station. Big Mac was spotless, and his cutie mark was shining brightly.

Hoity Toity stood up to attention."

Hoity Toity: "FUCK YOU!!!!"

Narrator: "The queen thanked him for a splendid run, and asked to see the other animals."

Pipsqueak and Braeburn: "Peep, peep!"

Narrator: "Whistled Braeburn and Pipsqueak."

Big Macintosh and Cranky Doodle Donkey: "Shhht!"

Narrator: "Hissed Big Mac and Cranky. But Braeburn and Pipsqueak didn't give a fuck."

Pipsqueak and Braeburn: "Three cheers for the queen!"

All the Animals: "Peep, peep!"

Narrator: "Whistled the animals.

When it was time to leave, the queen spoke specially to Spike for collecting her cart, then to Shining Armor, and finally to Big Mac, who took her away.

No animals ever felt prouder than those ones in Hoity Toity's town."

### Really Useful Dragon

He's a really useful dragon, you know
All the other animals they'll tell you so
He blows fire and whistles
Rushing to and fro
He's the really useful dragon we adore!
He's the one, he's the one
He's the really useful dragon that we adore
He's the one, he's the number one
Spike the Dragon
He's a really useful dragon, you know
'Cause Hoity Toity, he told him so
Now he's got a branch line
To call his very own
He's the really useful dragon we adore
He's the one, he's the one
He's the really useful dragon that we adore
He's the one, he's the number one
Spike the Dragon
Little dragon, he's always there
Whenever you need a hand
If you need help with a situation
Who comes into mind
He's the one, he's the one
He's the really useful dragon that we adore
He's the one, he's the number one
Spike the Dragon
He's a really useful dragon, you know
Maybe little, but he's never slow
Stand back in amazement
Just you watch him go
He's the really useful dragon we adore
He's the one, he's the one
He's the really useful dragon that we adore
He's the one, he's the number one
Spike the Dragon
He's the really useful dragon we adore!