The Deadlands (episode)

*This article is about the season one episode of* Check Please! *Campaign One. For the cursed region of the Southern Continent bordering Vil, please see Deadlands (location).*

## *Check Please!* Episode(s)

### Released

Original (YouTube):
4: 13 Mar 2019
5: 25 Mar 2019
6: 19 Jul 2019
7: 09 Aug 2019

Rerolled:
26 Aug 2020 (YouTube)
31 Oct 2020 (Podcasts)
29 Apr 2021 (YouTube)

## Key Details

### Location(s)

Edge
The Deadlands
Roderick's Monastery

## Players

### Cast

Keni as Sol
Xeno as Vera
Screwy as Markus
Grem as Lovette

## Links

### Podcast

Apple Podcasts
 Amazon Music
 Spotify

*Check Please!*

"**The Deadlands**" is an installment of *Check Please!* consisting of the 4th through 7th episodes of season one.

## Summary

Gnome engineer Lovette intervenes to rescue Sol from Vera and Markus. The four adventurers grudgingly agree to work together, and begin an expedition of their newly-formed Check Please! Party into the Deadlands. They encounter and defeat various forms of the Undead. Lovette makes unexpected progress in her search for her father.

## Synopsis

### Reading the Map

The map provided by Serwyn Vardale is revealed to show an area near the border of the Deadlands, marking three locations: Roderick's Monastery, Fort Grigoli, and the Old Tellic House. A key with a stylized "T" on the handle is also rolled up inside the parchment. Vera and Markus deduce that the key likely corresponds to the Tellic house.

Markus discusses the map with Tellie Talbert, who reveals that the monastery is a common destination and landmark for adventurers starting a journey. She also describes some of the dangers of the Deadlands (impairments to visibility and navigation, and roaming Undead) as well as its appeal: a seemingly unlimited number of rare magical objects that can be sold at high prices. Upstairs, Sol silently slips their bindings and reconfigures them to appear effective but be easily escapable.

Returning to the room, Markus and Vera discuss what to do with Sol. Markus suggests taking Sol with them on their journey into the Deadlands so Sol can pay off their supposed debt, much to Vera and Sol's consternation. Markus threatens to have Vera kill Sol if they don't comply; Vera is appalled. The three bicker.

### The Summoner

Suddenly, a gnome knocks at the door. She introduces herself as Lovette Ziniris McKinney-Bodwin. The barman had directed her to The Check Please! Party as potential adventuring partners for a trip into the Deadlands, but Lovette is shocked by the scene of Sol tied up. Sol pleads for help, while Vera defends the actions taken against the elf.

Lovette, a self-described "fan of due process", chooses to intervene, and uses a wrist-mounted mechanical device to activate a small metal sphere. The sphere quickly unfolds into a towering humanoid Gnomish automaton, whom Lovette introduces as Archivald (hereafter Archie). With Archie's looming presence sufficient to keep the situation from turning violent, Sol and Vera both give their takes on the events of "The Adventure Begins?" (1x1-3).

Lovette offers to join the party, promising to provide Archie's support along with accounting services for any money made from the expedition. She also takes on Sol as an employee, noting that while Sol's pay will first go towards clearing their debt, they will be protected from any harrassment and harm by Vera and Markus. Introductions are exchanged. Lovette further explains that she is looking for someone in the Deadlands. One by one, the group descends to the ground floor of The Dead Man's Rest.

### Awkwardness Abounds

The party dines. Vera explains their skills, then describes their god Melifera and the central tenets of their faith. Vera labels their party a Hive, and dismisses Sol as a "parasite" for stealing from the collective good of the group. The two argue.

Meanwhile, Markus attempts to flirt with Tellie, with little immediate success. He excuses himself to intervene in the increasingly loud sniping between Sol and Vera. Markus explains his backstory to Lovette, to Lovette's disbelief. Markus performs Channel Energy to prove his abilities as a Cleric. The group decides to enter the Deadlands and head first for Roderick's Monastery.

### Entering the Deadlands

The newly-assembled Check Please! Party departs the tavern and approaches the boundary separating Edge from the Deadlands. Markus briefly sees a humanoid figure in the fog and senses that it is unfriendly. He returns to the tavern long enough to bid Tellie goodbye and receive an affectionate kiss on the cheek. In their first act of party unity, Vera, Lovette, and Sol all tease Markus mercilessly. Archie sets Sol down, replacing them with Lovette. The party approaches the barrier. The bees in Vera's apiary begin acting strangely; Vera extracts and introduce Hummel, their bee Familiar, but is unable to calm him or the rest of the swarm. As the party crosses the boundary, the bees all fall dormant.

The party heads northeast towards Roderick's Monastery. On the way, Vera notices humanoid shapes moving in the area to the east, keeping parallel pace. Lovette readies her heavy crossbow, and on hearing a screaming noise, fires a warning shot into the fog. The figures attack, revealing themselves to be five Skeletons wearing unusual chainmail armor and horsehair-crested helmets, and wielding large shields and shortswords.

### Skelemans

With Sol providing courage-inspiring musical accompaniment, Vera hurls magic flames at the skeletons. Markus then attempts to attack with his sling staff, and predictably misses. Archie shoulder charges one of the skeletons, and misses. Lovette fires another crossbow bolt, and misses. Sol throws Symphonia's Wit, which hits, but deals no slashing damage to the meatless skeletal creature. Vera hurls more fire, downing one of the skeletons. Markus once again tries to use his sling staff, and once again misses. Archie attacks, and is able to destroy two more of the skeletons. Markus is stabbed, and Archie is also damaged. Several party members use healing abilities. Archie lands another attack; Lovette misses. Sol continues to strum for courage.

Vera retrieves Hummel from the apiary but is unable to get him into the fight. They pull the scythe, Melifera's Sting, and attempt to defend Markus. Markus uses his sling staff to bludgeon a skeleton. Archie is able to obliterate several of the skeletons. Further attacks from Lovette and Sol fail. Archie finishes off the final skeleton.

### GTFO

The party, shaken from their experience, hurry towards the Monastery, which they reach after passing the ruins of a small town. The Monastery itself is likewise crumbling. Vera leads the party inside and locates two intact bookcases amidst the rubble. They discover inside some arcane scrolls and an unidentified potion. Sol is able to identify these as a Potion of Undetectable Alignment and Scrolls of Chill Touch, Detect Magic, Grease, Jump, Message, Prestidigitation, Enfeeblement, and Resistance. Vera also discovers a leather sack containing a handful of gold pieces; they pocket it immediately.

Lovette sends Archie deeper into the ruins. Suddenly, an eery voice speaks from everywhere at once, as light and shadow fill the room: "BE GONE!" Combat starts again.

### The Shadow

Lovette retreats as she calls Archie back. The Shadow attacks Vera, but Vera is able to dodge. Sol strums out an Inspire Courage whie retreating to a boulder in a far corner of the room. Markus attempts Summon Monster. Sol, drawing on their store of Bardic knowledge, relates that healing the Undead will harm it. Vera attempts to damage the Shadow with their scythe, but fails. They attempt to vault one of the bookcases, but it collapses, leaving Vera in a vulnerable prone position, as the Shadow attacks them again. Archie runs into the fray, but not yet close enough to join the battle. Lovette uses her clockwork gauntlets to cast Magic Fang, enhancing Archie. She then retreats from the Shadow, which continues attacking Vera. Sol flings Symphonia's Wit at the Shadow, but it misses. Sol attempts to climb the boulder behind her, but cannot get any purchase on it.

Markus is able to finish summoning his creature of choice – a sparkly, Celestial Pony – next to Vera, then retreats, while attempting an attack with his sling staff, which fails. Because of course it does, it's a sling staff. The summoned pony also misses on their attack. Vera is able to stand and run. Archie runs into position to defend Vera, first giving them a reassuring pat to the left shoulder. Lovette sends a telepathic message to Sol, telling them to wait where they are for Archie's assistance. The Shadow saps life from the pony, which internally bewails the cruelty of its fate. Sol pleads with Markus to trust them and attempt to damage the Shadow with his Channel ability; unfortunately, the magic is too weak to have any effect. The pony poofs out of existence, flipping a rude hoof gesture at Markus as it does. Sol attacks the Shadow with Symphonia's Wit and again misses; they do manage to climb the boulder, though. Vera embues Archie with Guidance, then backs away. Archie flubs his attempt to charge the Shadow, damaging one of his fists. Lovette implores Sol to jump into her arms for reasons that elude understanding. The Shadow attacks Archie, damaging him severely. Markus once again tries to Channel Energy against the Shadow, this time hitting it. Sol, with the high ground advantage of being atop the boulder, hurls Symphonia's Wit and strikes true, further damaging the Shadow. Sol dismounts the boulder with a stunning display of a high Acrobatics skill check. Vera is able to use Mending to field-repair Archie's damaged fist. Archie is able to finish off the Shadow, though his sword mechanism is again damaged.

### Searching

Lovette attempts Detect Magic, but her sensors are thrown off by the overwhelming aura of Necromantic energy. She needles Markus about his ineffective sling staff, and the party explores the ruins further. They discover evidence of another traveller having passed through the area, as well a gear assembly and engineering notes and schematics that Lovette identifies as belonging to her father. She studies them: they appear to be upgrade parts for Archie, along with several journal entries. Unfortunately, there are no clues as to the gnome's location. Vera continues attempting to repair Archie, to Lovette's quiet consternation. The party constructs a makeshift barricade and prepares to rest for the night. Markus heals up the party, and Sol casts a soothing Dancing Lights to help keep watch. Lovette studies the blueprints further, but eventually rests. The remaining members of the party also rest.

### The Following Morning

Lovette is able to incorporate the gear assembly into Archie, upgrading his movement capabilities. With her mission in the Deadlands now complete, Lovette is prepared to leave; Sol jumps at the opportunity, but Vera and Markus are displeased, wishing to explore more of the area and to attempt to use the Tellic House key in pursuit of treasure. The party negotiates in less-than-good faith, but formalize an agreement on how to divide up future profits. Sol and Vera bicker over correct map orienteering but are finally able to chart a course to the Tellic House.

### The Tellic House

As the Party traverses the grounds of the manor and approach the central house, the T-marked key begins to vibrate in Vera's hand. They toss it to Sol. As the key begins to feel warm (bizarre, for the Deadlands), Sol deduces that it is taking on unknown magical properties from the surrounding area. The key's vibration becomes more intense and violent as Sol heads towards the central house, finally breaking free from Sol's grip and skittering across the ground towards the front door. It begins to pulse with a magical light that grows stronger as the key gets closer to its target. The brightness intensifies until it eclipses the entire Deadlands with a blinding white light.

When the light clears, the Tellic House appears wholly restored to its former beautty, as does the surrounding landscape. Temperature and color return to normal, and Vera's bees have awakened. An unknown elderly butler welcomes the group, addressing Sol as "my dear Lady Caroline" and apologizing that the house's staff had not anticipated Caroline's early return from school. He leaves to inform Caroline's father of Caroline's arrival.

Sol guesses that some form of time magic is at work, and is proven correct moments later, when the butler identifies the date as "September the 4th, 2304"; the Party is confused by this discrepancy with their own calendar system, unclear about which direction in time they've apparently traveled. Sol decides to assume the role of Lady Caroline, with the rest of the Party posing as Caroline's schoolmates. They discuss their cover stories and assumed school majors. In short order, Sol, as Caroline, is greeted warmly by Caroline's older sister Ann-Lysse, and introduces the other Party members. The Party enters the Tellic House.

## Key Points

Some of the major elements, references, and foreshadowing of story continuity and character development in this episode:

### Plot & Lore

* Though not identified as such in the episode, the description of the skeletons' armor and weapons identifies them as having been soldiers of the the Protean Empire in life.

### Character

#### Sol

* Sol demonstrates far more skill escaping from rope than they later show when attempting to tie up Alec Graham.
* Sol reiterates that they are "barely religious, though [they] do like Symphonia."
* Sol continues to show genuine fear that they are being pursued by unknown agents.
* Sol shows signs of a privileged upbringing and (unlike Lovette) a careless attitude towards money. They are also made visibly uncomfortable by being mistaken for a noble, but nonetheless slip easily into the expected formal patterns of behavior.
* Sol's derisive description of Markus's infatuation with Tellie foreshadows some of the tensions later revealed in their relationshp with Gro'h.
* Sol's perception that Markus's infatuation constitutes infidelity towards Markus's family foreshadows their concerns about their father's actions.
* Sol tells Lovette that they attended school for magic.
* Sol enjoys brattily needling Vera in response to Vera's hostility.
* Sol defends their use of Muse and extols its virtues to Lovette.
* Sol's mental voice during the Messaging spell sounds distinctly upper class, with classical music playing behind it. This is also their spoken voice when in the role of Caroline.
* Sol (or Keni, at least) is touched when Markus attempts to Channel Energy against the Shadow a second time.
* Sol shows concern for Vera's health after the Shadow fight.
* Keni notes that Sol "doesn't care if they're pretty; they like being handsome".

#### Vera

* Vera denies being a racist while continuing their racist belligerence towards Sol, who reciprocates the unpleasantness (sans the slurs). They also (partly due to her unusual height) mistake Lovette for a halfling, and refer to her as "Gnome" rather than by name.
* Vera is nevertheless appalled by Markus's indifference towards the idea of taking Sol to their death.
* Vera describes themself as a "sister of Melifera" and gives a brief overview of their religion.
* Vera's familiar Hummel, a bee who usually resides in their backpack apiary, is introduced by name.
* Vera is less concerned about randomly killing individuals when she goes after the teacher who expelled Karis.[*citation needed*]
* Vera shows significant discomfort having their left shoulder touched.
* Vera begins warming to Sol, or at least, to Sol's music.
* Vera refuses to sign Lovette's contract.
* Vera reveals they intend to use whatever wealth is gained from their Deadlands expedition to get the Hive back on its feet.
* Vera shows ignorance of formal education and disdain for class systems.

#### Markus

* Markus continues to show surprisingly little-to-no empathy towards Sol, despite supposedly being a Cleric.
* Markus continues to woo Tellie. Using the same pickup line. On the same person. In the span of 24 hours. Nevertheless, he makes some progress in his pursuit of her.
* Markus likewise attempts to flirt with Caroline Tellic's elder sister.
* Markus states that his full title is "Markus Cupshigh the Owlbear Slayer". This honorific is never used by anyone else.
* Markus explains to Lovette the "dimension door mishap" that led to his arrival in Aedron. Lovette is unconvinced.
* Markus trusts Sol enough to attempt Channel Energy against the Shadow a second time.
* Markus is ridiculed by the party for his sling staff and lack of armor. He does eventually address this.[*citation needed*]
* Markus makes offensive assumptions about Sol, drawing on stereotypical preconceptions about the lewdness of Bards.

#### Lovette

* Lovette, played by Grem, joins The Check Please! Party.
* Lovette sidesteps the question of whether they created Archie.
* Lovette shows a great interest in money and careful accounting.
* Lovette assumes that the odd behavior of the party is a result of Markus burning Sol's supply of Muse (rather than taking it properly), and expresses interest in trying it. She also asks Sol whether the sensory experience of the Deadlands is anything like the psychoactive effects of the drug.
* Lovette tells Sol that she attended school for engineering.
* Lovette is delayed in combat by the need to reload their collapsible crossbow. She will address this by upgrading her weapon in a later episode.[*citation needed*]
* Lovette's leather-bound Obsession Book is mentioned. Its contents will later become a matter of considerable debate amongst party members.
* Lovette's description of a school begins by mentioning cliques, an early sign of the bullying they endured during their formal education.

#### Archie

* Archie is introduced, as is his habit of carrying members of the party, starting with Sol and later Lovette.
* Archie is upgraded for the first time, allowing for smoother and more fluid motion.

## Running Gags & Callbacks

* The kinkiness of rope bondage is discussed by Beardy and Keni. This would recur in later episodes of Yes Please!
* Vera's trademark unsmiling "resting bitch face" is first described as such.
* Markus shows ineptitude in dealing with romantic partners, yet attempts to flirt with everything that moves.
* Nobody believes Markus's backstory.
* Sol brings up Markus's infidelity.
* Screwy takes pun damage: 2x
* Markus's dollar-store-sling staff misses: 3x
* Uppies (Archie carries someone): 2x
* "Thank you, DM Daddy!": 1x
* Spice on the dice: 2x
* "Reesies in peacies." 1x

## Memorable Quotes

* "So, why do people get lost up there?" "Oh... because it's kind of a twisted hellscape of death?" – Markus and Tellie, discussing the Deadlands.
* "Wait... you want to bring them there just to die?" "No, I'm just saying that if they do, it's no sweat off our nose." "Aren't... aren't you a Cleric?" – Vera and Markus discuss Sol's fate.
* (singsong) "♫ You fuckin' burned my drugs, so fuck you! ♫" – Sol, not yet warming to Markus.
* "So, you're on right now, but when do you get off?" – Markus, wooing Tellie.
* "There's definitely something wrong with this place." "Oh, you don't say? Did you need the bees to tell you that?" – Vera and Lovette, at the border of the Deadlands.
* "That's an 18 and a 2." "Well, I think you know which one hits." – Grem and Beardy
* "Among all these little gizmos and gadgets on this gauntlet of mine... I did not mean to alliterate there, but I don't regret it." – Xeno
* "Technically speaking, it was being summoned from [...] an upper plane [...] and it's now being returned, so if you think about it, it's going home, to that big farm on the other side of town, where there's lots of space for it to run..." – Beardy, describing the pony's fate.
* "What about me makes sense?" – Markus, foreshadowing.
* "We all have a soul." – Markus, making it worse.
* "It appears no one has slit your throat in your sleep, so that's good." – Beardy
* "Vera? Can I just... assist... in some way or form?"" Yeah. Sure." "Okay, well, what if I said you might be be going slightly off direction?" "I'd say you're probably full of shit." "And I'd say you're a bitch, but we can both agree you're wrong!" – Sol and Vera bicker over the map.
* "I couldn't possibly deny you any of my witty retorts." "When are they going to start, though?" – Markus, getting owned by Lovette.

## The Dice

(These are estimates, since not all rolls are called or broken down out loud.)

* Confirmed Critical Miss: Dented Blade
* Grem's second critical miss didn't need a confirmation roll, since the enemy was downed by the first hit.

## Trivia & References

* As with "The Adventure Begins?" (C1 S1 E1-3), episodes 4-7 were rerecorded sometime after their initial release to address perceived issues with the audio quality and performances, and rereleased as "Check Please! Rerolled".
* Meal of the Day: Shepherd's Pie.