Chum Guzzler

The **Chum Guzzler** was a boating vessel that the then un-named Ätlän-tã Fælcons acquisitioned and took up in. They saved the slaves onboard, including the prostitute Ros. It was initially named the *"Cum Dumpster"*, but this was revealed to have changed in Episode 90 - Somewhere Beyond the Sea. It currently resides at Deephome, under the command of Queen Aludra Wyrmsbane and Jaela.

## **Recent Events**

The ship originally belonged to a pirate named Captain Hookbeard. When Aludra, Thom the Dragonborn, Tum Darkblade, and Junpei Iori were told that they needed to get from Mastwick to Caer, they were pointed toward Hookbeard as a possible means of transportation. The group found the captain and acquired passage aboard the ship, only to discover that Hookbeard and his crew were slavers, and their cargo was people! In response, the heroes mudered the pirates, and freed the slaves, one of whom was Ros. She would end up becoming captain of the ship, and a lifelong friend/rival of the adventurers. The rest of the slaves became the other crew members. There was a kerfuffle during Episode 28, where a mysterious force made all of the Chum Guzzler crew act in strange ways, but it was all sorted out when it was revealed that Brady stole some golden idol that made them all cursed. It was then fixed.

After several more adventures, the party took the boat to The Cursed Cave, where their next MacGuffin was. Unfortunately, this was where Tum Darkblade died, and not long afterward, Junpei Iori also left the party. This left the crew with a few openings, resulting in Winston and Lord Titus Harper joining the boat.

The boat was a part of the crew's adventures as their primary means of transportation until they accidentally travelled back in time to find The Brazier of Worlds. During this time, they saved a group of Griffons from the grips of an evil version of Thom Vidalis. Upon their return to the present, the griffons became their way of travelling around Drunkeros. Because of this, the ship, Ros, and the rest of the crew, became significantly sidelined, a mission to be found later on, after the crew were killed by Fennekin and brought back to life (it was a whole thing).

Another adventuring group, on a mission from Mordenkainen herself, was sent to give a book named the Demonomicon to Fennekin, not realizing he was evil. They were pointed toward the Chum Guzzler as a means of getting to the man, but their journey was interrupted by a group of demons attacking. Before they could get their hands on the book, however, one of the adventurers, a gnoll named Steve Meloncamp teleported away, accidentally sending himself to the bottom of the oceon. There, he drowned, leaving the book there. As for the others, they were later attacked by Fennekin himself, deciding to take matters into his own hands. The result of this battle is unknown, but the ship and crew survived, and so did Fennekin, so presumably, he just ran off. Oh, well.

It wasn't long after this (presumably, seeing as how the ship was still floating around there, and the book wasn't waterlogged or anything), that there was a reunion between the ship and the original adventurers. A wizard named Zird the Arcane brought the crew to the bottom of the ocean in a magical submarine named The Belafonte to find the Demonomicon. After grabbing it, they surfaced and boarded their old ship, catching up with those onboard and everyone was happy.

The ship became their homebase/ship on and off as they teleported around Drunkeros, and met up again, rinse and repeat, until The Battle Above the Abyss and the subsequent Five Year Gap. During this time, Lord Titus Harper became King Titus Harper, ruler of Pelor's Hope. He maintained ownership of the boat, which his wife, Ashayara Dayne, made him cover up the name of. He took it to Deephome to attend the wedding of Aludra and Baldur Oakback, along with bodyguards Nyx and Marendithas Bearcharger. Bearcharger died after the boat was attacked by a beholder, and in the most infamous episodes of the series, the whole mission was halted by the antics of Bananas Foster, the little shit. He, too, died, and eventually, the boat picked up Jett Razor, a famous musician, and, again eventually, the group made it to Deephome, where it would stay for a while.

After the events of The War of Wyrmsbane Keep, the party decided to go and wrap up a lingering plotline of Harper's, taking down the dreaded Longcryer. As his tower was inland, they took the Griffons, leaving the boat back in Deephome. After this storyline wrapped up (Harper died), there was a lot of teleportation, culminating in the next storyline, with Nareev. Jett Razor turned out to be evil, and he also had an airship named *Jett's Toi*, which the party (now named the Ätlän-tã Fælcons), stole and renamed *The Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap*. This further cemented the Chum Guzzler's useless-ness, basically ensuring that it wouldn't be used for a while.

The Chum Guzzler was last seen in Deephome, when Jaela and Aludra said their goodbyes to each other (they were later reunited and married, but the boat wasn't involved). After this point, it was not seen nor heard from, though it is most likely still hanging out in Deephome, doing little.

## **Chum Guzzler Crew**

### *Ros*

{Main Article: Ros}

Ros was the first crew member rescued by the party, and she became the de facto captain of the ship, as the adventurers were too busy adventuring to run things. She's pretty cool, even if she does have a dark past...

### *Xantolin*

{Main Article: Xantolin}

Xantolin was a Darkblade fangirl and as such had great regard for Tum. He asked the party to go get revenge on Xantac for killing Xantolin's puppy Rover. During Episode 28, Xantolin tried to fight Tum for his Darkblade insignia, hoping that would make him a Darkblade. Xantolin later got promoted to First Mate, but was lost overboard and presumed dead. He survived and ended up on Mastwick, where he got to join the Darkblades for real.

### *Winston*

{Main Article: Winston}

Large but loveable half orc who worked on the ship as a simple boatman. Thom the Dragonborn's best friend after Blood Drinker, ale, Ros, and pain. Winston was from Arkensaw.

### *Flinn*

{Main Article: Flinn}

During Episode 28, Flinn and Cooper gave in to their deepest desires and started making out. Their love was the kind that does speak it's name, loudly and repeatedly, in the common areas of the ship.

### *Cooper*

{Main Article: Cooper}

During Episode 28, Flinn and Cooper gave in to their deepest desires and started making out. Their love was the kind that does speak it's name, loudly and repeatedly, in the common areas of the ship.

### *Brady*

{Main Article: Brady}

During Episode 28, Brady was the one who stole the golden bat idol. He then sat up in the crow's nest alone until Junpei and Tum took it from him and destroyed it.

### *Trevor*

{Main Article: Trevor}

During Episode 28, Trevor fought Chad for Aludra's favour. It's been awkward for them since.

### *Brett*

{Main Article: Brett}

During Episode 28, Brett would not stop drinking ale to quench his thirst. Aludra looked down on him for not being able to handle his booze and smacked him with her hammer.

### *Randy*

{Main Article: Randy}

Randy helped bring supplies on the ship and was almost never seen nor heard from again. He did show up at Jaela's bachelorette party, where he expressed his disdain for being ignored and overlooked so much, although really, Randy, maybe it's your own fault. Make an effort to stand out more, you know? Be noticed. Stand up for yourself.

### ~~*Chad*~~ - Dead

{Main Article: Chad}

During Episode 28, Chad tried to woo Aludra but she wasn't having any of it. He then got in a fight with Trevor over Aludra. He died when Fennekin attacked the ship and he was thrown overboard (Episode 116).

### ~~*Tad*~~ - Dead

{Main Article: Tad}

Mostly unseen. Shy. He died by being blown overboard when a sea storm hit (Episode 157).

### ~~*Branson*~~ - Dead

{Main Article: Branson}

During Episode 28, Branson was found dead from a stab wound in the back. The culprit was never actually identified although everyone suspected Brady. Branson was the only crew member the party can ever remember and he's the dead one.

## **Episodes**

* Episode 15 - A Pirate’s Life for Me
* Episode 16 - A Legend from the Depths
* Episode 17 - Welcome to Caer!
* Episode 27 - Painful Memories
* Episode 28 - Spooky, Crazy Mystery Hour
* Episode 29 - A Disproportionate Response
* Episode 31 - Fond Farewells
* Episode 32 - I HATE GNOLLS
* Episode 36 - No Rest for the Wicked
* Episode 37 - Mastwick Chronicles
* Episode 40 - Requiem with the Dragon Hunter
* Episode 41 - Salty Sea Wench
* Episode 43 - The Raging Storm
* Episode 44 - The Sins of the Fathers
* Episode 54 - Ice Cream for Bucky
* Episode 90 - Somewhere Beyond the Sea
* Episode 91 - Somewhere Beyond the Sea Part 2
* Episode 100 - A Bittersweet Reunion
* Episode 101 - Home is Where Your Heads Are
* Episode 102 - The Most Magical Motor Boat
* Episode 107 - Why We Fight
* Episode 108 - Mystery of Fairmire
* Episode 115 - Adventures in Boat Sitting
* Episode 116 - Adventures in Boat Sitting Part 2
* Episode 157 - Storm's A-Brewin'
* Episode 158 - A Deep One Rises
* Episode 159 - Monkey Business
* Episode 160 - Monkier Business
* Episode 161 - Welcome to Calsten
* Episode 162 - The Dangerous Life of a Musician
* Episode 163 - Welcome to Deephome
* Episode 235 - Queendom Come