Pizza Man

Welcome kiddies to my CASTLE once again.  Tonight, I'm ordering out.  I hope you all enjoy pizza.  My favorite pizza shop is BEAST OF CHICAGO hee-hee!  But, while I order, in the meantime, here's a DISGUSTING-DELIVERY for you to FEAST ON...

It was back in the June of 1969, that a pizza car moved slowly down a road in Los Angeles, California one day.  The windows and windshield were dark, hazy and clouded-over.  The pizza car pulled into a driveway of a home.  A few moments later, the front door of the home opened and shut.  A young woman was in the hall and took a boxed-up pizza out of a man's hands.  "Hello, sweetheart, thank you for the pizza!" she told him.  "Hello, Diane, you're welcome, it has sure been a busy day" her husband replied.  Diane's husband smiled at her, giving her a kiss on the cheek and went into their living-room.  He lit a cigar and smoked it.  Diane came into the room with a meat cleaver and stabbed her husband in his back.  He coughed and fell to the floor dead.  Diane grabbed his cigar from out of his dead mouth and smoked it herself then.  "Thanks for the cigar Sam.  It will go good with the cheese pizza.  Oh, and, thanks for the life insurance too honey" Diane said to his dead body.

Half a year later, Diane poured tequila from a bottle into a glass and drank it as she looked out the living-room-window one evening.  The doorbell rang and she answered it.  Standing out, on the stoop, there was a guy whose face was all wrapped up in a scarf.  "Hello may I help you?" Diane asked the stranger.  "Hello, Diane, it's me, Sam" the stranger said in reply.  "Sam?  I'm sorry sir, but my Husband Sam is dead.  He's been dead for six months now" she said, explaining to him.  "But Diane this is our house here!" Sam said, surprised, standing in his yellow jacket that read: "WALLY'S PIZZERIA" on the back of it in green, capital-letters which had a hug tear in the back of it.  He stepped into the house in his blue jeans, red collared-shirt and black loafers, starting to remove his scarf.  Diane's eyes widened, she gasped in shock and fainted then.  When Diane came to, a cop and a young man were standing at a bedside in a bedroom as she was lying in bed.  "Diane, honey, it's okay.  I called the police here when I found you passed out by the front door" the man said to her, explaining.  "Mrs. Klutzman, I am Deputy Frankfurt ma'am.  Your Husband Timothy here called me to investigate the intruder who came to your home this evening!" the cop explained, introducing himself to Diane as.  "The intruder's muddy footprints led from your front stoop to your dining room ma'am.  I am in the process of investigating your house here!" Deputy Frankfurt explained to her and walked out of the bedroom then.  Deputy Frankfurt flicked on his flashlight as he made it into the dining-room and shined it around the dark place.  The shadowy-form of the intruder was within a corner of the dining-room and Deputy Frankfurt grabbed his gun.  "I am Sam Harrison, Deputy Frankfurt sir.  My Wife Diane stabbed me to death with our meat cleaver six months ago!" the shadowy intruder explained to the policeman, and Deputy Frankfurt immediately shined his flashlight on him along with pointing his gun at him.  "FREEZE, MISTER!!!!" Deputy Frankfurt yelled out loud.  Sam Harrison approached the policeman and Deputy Frankfurt saw that he was a ghostly-zombie.

The bald ghostly-zombie of Sam Harrison had: dead flesh of black, small, glowing-white eyes, glowing-white nostrils, and a light blue-glowing beard.  When he opened his dead-mouth, the inside of it also glowed-white.  "I had a groovy nickname at Wally's Pizzeria when I worked there when I was alive.  It was Pizza Man sir" the living dead man said to the cop, explaining.  "Y-YOU ARE DEAD WHAT IN THE WORLD?!" Deputy Frankfurt said in horror, yelling at the living-dead Sam Harrison.  The ghostly zombie passed the horrified cop and stumbled into the bedroom up the hall.  Diane Klutzman opened her eyes, gasping in terror and surprise at the zombified-phantom of Sam.  He choked her with his black, dead-hand, as she writhed and shook.  Meanwhile, Timothy Klutzman was within the kitchen, pouring a glass of tequila and saw Deputy Frankfurt run into the kitchen.  "Deputy Frankfurt what's the matter sir??" he asked him, worried.  "The intruder is Mr. Sam Harrison, Mr. Klutzman sir" the cop said, explaining in shock and fear to him.  "What?!  Deputy, Sam Harrison was murdered half a year ago by a robber.  Then a two months later, Diane and I met.  Sam's dead" Mr. Timothy Klutzman said, explaining.  Then, the zombified-spirit of Sam Harrison stumbled into the archway between the living-room and the kitchen, causing Deputy Frankfurt and Mr. Timothy Klutzman both to scream.  In the dead man's hands, the ghostly-zombie held Wally's Pizzeria pizza box.  The zombified-phantom opened the pizza box and inside it there was the skull of Mrs. Diane Klutzman, still having her black, short and curly hair on it.  "I am Pizza Man.  How about a slice of Diane?" the living-dead man asked Deputy Frankfurt and Mr. Timothy Klutzman, as a Christmas tree was seen through part of his dead, transparent, ghostly-face.

Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh-Heh, well, I sure hope Mr. Timothy Klutzman gave a TERRIFYING-TIP to "Pizza Man" for delivering his GROSS AMOUNT OF PUTRID-PIZZA to him.  Even though SAM SCARE-RRISON I mean HARRISON forgot all the SLOPPINGS on the special pizza, he did have QUITE THE SKULL with pizza making hee-hee-hee-hee!  Talk about a DEAD END JOB for "Pizza Man" eh, Kiddies?  But OF CORPSE, he took A GHOST OF A CHANCE with keeping it ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!