Edward for Pres-ed-ent

**Edward for Pres-ed-ent** is episode 109b of Edward and Eric. It premiered on Kids' WB on July 3, 2004.

## Synopsis

Edward and Snodgrass compete with each other in the class president election, but Snodgrass is taking drastic measures to ensure he seals the victory. When he does end up winning, he completely forgets that it's a school tradition for newly-elected class presidents to receive a beating from the rival school's quarterback, Horseradish, which no student has ever survived before, so Edward must save him.

## Cast

* Andrew Rannells as Edward, Ivan, Charles, Wasps, Robot and himself
* Dee Bradley Baker as Snodgrass and Announcer
* Josh Peck as Eric
* Dan Green as Dallas
* Wayne Grayson as Joey
* Gary Sauls as Constantinos and Mr. Goodman
* Edward Felker as Stanley, Igor and Jacob the Dog
* Mike Pollock as Principal Walker
* John DiMaggio as Tony
* Veronica Taylor as Carver
* Kyle Phillips as Wayne
* Eric Stuart as Horseradish and Terry and Barry

## Trivia

* Although this episode premiered in 2004, it was produced in 2003 according to the copyright date at the end of the credits.
* This is the only instance where Andrew appears in an 11-minute episode.
* This episode is available to watch on The Search for the Six DVD, The Best of Snodgrass VHS, and the Season 5 Volume 2 box set.
* This episode contains several references to the superhero manga series, *My Hero Academia*:
	+ Class 1-A is directly mentioned at one point. It serves as the classroom of the protagonist, Izuku Midoriya.
	+ Wayne's attack consisting of 1.3 million volts is a reference to Denki Kaminari's Indiscriminate Shock 1.3 Million Volts Super Move.
	+ Charles' Wall of Flames attack is based on Shoto Todoroki's own Wall of Flames.
* Edward also mentions Class 3-E from *Assassination Classroom*.
	+ This wouldn't be the first time *Assassination Classroom* was referenced (most notably the "Stay in School or Else" poster in Valentine's Day in Lakeside and the fact a few of Class 3-E's students are seen at the dance in the same episode).
* **Credits:** Andrew is ecstatic about how he recorded the match in its entirety. Jacob "accidentally" knocks the tape into the sewers, which is never to be seen again.

## Transcript

(The episode begins with a slow day at the school. Joey is punching one of Constantinos' arms, Stanley is reading a book, Eric is sleeping, and Dallas is drawing a comic of him fighting Carver. Edward rushes in, with his hands making it look like he's holding onto a steering wheel)

**Edward:** (announcing similarly to a conductor) Come one and all, to the Great Pearson Express! We offer prestigious views of Lakeside City School's hallways, followed by breathtaking glances of the cafeteria and the washrooms!

(Awkward silence)

**Joey:** Stanley, did you hear something?

**Stanley:** Joey, I'm not gonna fall for that, because I know your next comment is gonna be painfully condescending.

**Joey:** (under his breath) Buzzkill.

**Edward:** (his voice is back to normal) Oh my. It seems my peers are losing their school spirit. I must find a solution to this dreadful situation!

**Joey:** Four Eyes, we're in school. How could you EVER fix that?

**Edward:** (in his conductor voice again) Change of destination: Principal Walker's office! (imitates the sounds of a train starting up and zooming as he runs off)

(Snodgrass is seen hiding in the corner. He peeks out)

**Snodgrass:** My senses indicate he's going to hog all of Walker's attention. That's MY job!

(In his office, we see a closeup of Walker's face, and the camera zooms out of it. Edward barges in)

**Edward:** Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga, choo choo!

(He says "Choo choo" repeatedly. Suddenly, we hear Walker from underneath an oversized sub sandwich)

**Principal Walker:** Goodman! (pops out from the sandwich, which he rapidly eats, and we see that the Walker sitting in his office chair is just a cardboard cutout) When I'm in something that starts with S, it means I need S for sleep! Told you this cutout was a bad idea. (rips it apart, but then he notices Edward) What do YOU want?

**Edward:** (looking at the walls) Whoa! (points to a bulletin board, which has countless of photos attached to it, and he focuses his vision on one particular photo) Class 1-A, (and another photo) Class 3-E, (and another one) Class of '73, (and another one) Class of '74... who ARE these students?

**Principal Walker:** Oh, don't remind me. They're photos of the old classes and their president elections. Ya know, they (instantly spins around and wears a Girls' Scout uniform) would go to hallways and (knocks his fist in the air, pretending to knock on a door) harass people at their doors. (his clothes poof back to normal)

**Edward:** What do you mean? That's a brilliant idea!

**Snodgrass:** (runs in) Don't pay any attention to him, sir. Why, I'm... (begins cringing) I'm... (he inhales; his face turns purple, and his eyes become bloodshot) I'M FULL OF SCHOOL SPIRIT!

**Principal Walker:** (sarcastically and deadpan) Oh, this is gonna be so original. Why don't you two compete with each other and see who wins?

**Edward:** (his head launches like a firework and crashes through the roof; his body follows suit by blasting off) YA-HOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(Both Walker and Snodgrass are visibly amused, and Edward lands back down)

**Edward:** (chanting) I'll be the president! And (points to Walker) you'll be the judge!

**Principal Walker:** (his eyes pop out similarly to springs) WHAT?! (inserts them back in) No, no, no! I've got more important duties. (walks out)

(We hear the door opening and closing, followed by his golf cart starting up, the cart parking, a bank alarm going off, pedestrians screaming in terror, and footsteps mixed in with money bags jiggling. The next things we hear are the golf cart taking off, a window crashing, a baby crying, a woman screaming, and a flatline going off. Edward and Snodgrass have absolutely nothing to say)

(Later, we see the school's P.A. speaker, which is speaking like a mouth)

**Mr. Goodman:** Attention students, mandatory election voting in the cafeteria.

(Tony heads to Carver's table)

**Carver:** Vote for me! I am the perfect choice for class president.

(Tony raises an eyebrow)

**Carver:** Ok, so you know all politicians are corrupt and arrogant. And that's what I am too, right?

**Tony:** Yeah, that's fair.

**Carver:** So vote me, dork! Carver Brutus!

**Tony:** (casts his vote in) Oh brother. (walks away)

**Edward:** (walks in with sheets of paper) Well, Mr. Walker didn't volunteer to serve as the judge for the voting campaigns of the other candidates, so I shall fill in. (looks at the papers) First up are Terry and Barry.

**Terry and Barry:** (with a trip wire between their necks) We've got the neck, we'll improve the school bus! So make sure to vote for us!

**Edward:** Up next is Constantinos.

**Constantinos:** Coming. (he limps in, carrying a boombox, which he sets down. He mutters stuff to himself) Ok. (he clears his throat and turns on the boombox, which starts playing music) Boom shaka-laka-laka, boom shaka-laka-laka, boom shaka-laka-laka, boom!

(Ivan walks in)

**Constantinos:** (violently shakes up and down) Boom shaka-laka-laka, boom shaka-laka-laka, lakalakalakalakalaka boom! (Ivan puts a closed can of soda in Constantinos' hands) LAKALAKALAKALAKALAKA BOOOOOOM!

(Ivan retrieves the can of soda and opens it. A rapid burst of soda is spewed out, with all of it landing on his face. Constantinos passes out)

**Edward:** And up next is my dear younger brother, Eric, with a tribute to Principal Walker.

**Eric:** (from a far distance) Hurrah. Hurrah. I'll make every day Pizza Friday. Vote for me.

**Edward:** Wait, where's the tribute?!

**Eric:** (with a Walker finger puppet) You're looking at it.

**Edward:** Mmmm, that was too tiny. (writes something down on a clipboard) Now, up next is... (grabs the papers again and becomes shocked) Snodgrass?!

**Snodgrass:** (leaps into the scene, laughing, dressed as a koala; he begins singing) VOTE FOR SNODGRASS! ME! WHY I HAVE THE KOALA-FICATIONS! MY FUR WILL GIVE YOU AN ITCH AND A SCRATCH WITH A HEADFUL OF LICE, SO I AIN'T TOO NICE! I've got spirit! There'll be actual funding for our restrooms! Physical Education no more! Lackluster teaching, gone! No more money wasted on silly musicals! Decent textbooks and competent teachers, yeah! I'm lead down by the establishment - brutalized! I feel your pain, my children! Salvation is here, my friends! I shall usher in a new education era! Vote for Snodgrass!

(Nobody is impressed)

**Snodgrass:** Why is no one cheering? Oh, that's right! My finale! I forgot to do my finale! SHOWCASING MY INVENTION! (presses a red button on a remote)

(A robot pops out of nowhere)

**Robot:** Vote for Snodgrass.

(It starts shooting lasers at everyone, all of whom scream bloody murder as they dodge the lasers)

(Eric jumps into Edward's arms, but a laser comes for them. Before it can even hit them, Eric removes Edward's glasses - or eyeballs - and uses it to deflect the laser. Within a second, the laser is shot into deep space, leaving the galaxy)

**Edward:** (puts his eyes back on) Uhh, ok. (narrowly dodges another laser by jumping out of the way, and the laser disintegrates the table) Thanks, Snodgrass. Next!

(The laser shoots the camera, transitioning it to later that day)

**Edward:** And now for the last contestant...yours truly!

(Two formally dressed women come in and lift him up)

**Female Singers:** There is a handsome man, a certain man! You should all vote for him! Who is he? You should vote for him before three! Edward Pearson! He's the best, there's no contest! Vote Edward Pearson! He's so cool, he should be the president for school! Go, Edward!

(Everybody cheers as the women toss him in the air, but he slams into the ceiling)

**Female Singers:** Whoops. (they quickly take off)

(Outside, fireworks blast into the sky, and cheering can still be heard from the inside)

(Later after school, The Lucky 6 are at the apartment's courtyard)

**Dallas:** That was great, Edward!

**Edward:** Thank you, Dallas! Oscar didn't even have to threaten voters with a ray gun.

**Oscar:** (flies in and lands on Edward's shoulder, causing him to flinch in fright) (hoots)

(Snodgrass walks in and pretends to clear his throat)

**Snodgrass:** I know the winners won't be announced until tomorrow. But it's obvious Edward may be the winner. (sighs) So, (pretends to be happy) I'm throwing a congratulation party behind No Trees Were Harmed During the Making of This Bookstore tonight! And the brothers are invited! (takes off)

**Edward:** Now that's what I call sportsmanship.

**Stanley:** Are you really sure you're going there, Edward? You already know not to go to shady areas at night. Especially if it's from Snodgrass.

**Edward:** Sportsmanship, Stanley! That's the key. After all, I'm sure he wouldn't want to disturb his parents at night.

**Stanley:** (stands up and leaves) Alright. Your grave, not mine.

**Eric:** (oblivious) A party behind the bookstore! I didn't know you could hold 'em there. It's usually off limits.

(Transition to nighttime behind the store)

**Edward:** (echoing) Here we are, Snodgrass! We're here to party!

(Crickets chirping)

**Eric:** Maybe we're here early.

**Snodgrass:** (behind them) Why don't you fools turn around and give me a huge smile?!

**Both:** (turns around) Huh?

**Snodgrass:** (jotting something down on a notepad) You know, trespassing is not only punishable by expulsion from school, but it also constitutes as a misdemeanor with a maximum sentence of six months and a fine of $100,000. So how would Principal Walker react if he saw (shows them a cruddy drawing of the brothers in their spot) THIS?!

(The brothers gasp)

**Edward:** This isn't good!

**Eric:** Neither is his drawing! (nonchalantly) I mean, my hair is slightly off.

**Edward:** (to Snodgrass) Do you really want us to get in trouble?

**Snodgrass:** Oh, no, that's why I'm willing to make a deal. I'll forget this whole thing ever happened, if you agree to one small thing. Like, oh, I dunno...ME BEING THE CLASS PRESIDENT! ME! ME! ME!!!! (laughs maniacally and holds up the drawing) We don't want this ending up at the police station now, do we?!

**Both:** (shaking their heads) No!

**Snodgrass:** Glad that's settled. See ya tomorrow morning! (laughs as he walks away)

(Silence. A subway train is heard passing by, as well as a distant jackhammer)

**Edward:** (crosses his arms) I'm not letting him do this. I won fair and square.

**Eric:** But he has that bad drawing! Being class president is not worth risking getting expelled.

(The next morning, a poster reading "NEW CLASS PRESIDENT: Snodgrass Phthiraptera" is put up in one of the hallways)

**Everyone:** Hey! What is this?

**Constantinos:** (in the background) Crazy is what it is!

**Snodgrass:** (offscreen) There's nothing crazy here!

(Camera pans out to reveal Snodgrass in a king's robe)

**Snodgrass:** Everything is as it should be! The best student DID win! Lakeside City School, meet your newest class president - Snodgrass Phthiraptera! Nobody will get under your skin like how I do!

(Beat)

**Stanley:** I'll say.

(Walker heads out of the office, stretching and grumbling as his back pops. He stares at the poster)

**Principal Walker:** Oh, look at that. The school's got a new class president.

(Beat - again)

**Principal Walker:** Who the heck is Snodgrass?

**Snodgrass:** (marches up to him while salutating) ME! ME! I'm Snodgrass! The new class president! Snodgrass! Me! Class president! Me! (hops up and down) Reporting for duty, sir! What's my first duty, Mr. Walker?

**Principal Walker:** (rolls his eyes) Ok, ok. (takes out a sheet of paper and adjusts his glasses before reading) Tomorrow at 6pm, you'll attend the Lakeside Leopards' football game at Madison Square Garden, and you'll partake in a formal pre-game with a select student from our rival school to represent us.

**Snodgrass:** MADISON SQUARE GARDEN?! YAY ME!!!!

(Fade to black. Cut to a live-action panning shot of both the exterior and interior of Madison Square Garden)

**Announcer:** Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the only thing that public schools put all their budget money towards -- football games!

(A wild applause is heard, and a live-action crowd is seen)

**Announcer:** Featuring the Lakeside Leopards, of Lakeside City School, and the Manhattan Mammoths, of Stuyvesant High School!

(In the crowd, the E&E characters are revealed to be the only people in regular 2D animation)

**Joey:** So what the heck are we doing here again?

**Edward:** We're just supporting the school as usual, Joey.

**Joey:** Oh, I thought you only wanted to see Snodgrass get maimed.

**Edward:** Now that you mention it, isn't the pre-game where class presidents from our school and our rival school play a (clears his throat and air-quotes) "friendly game" together?

**Joey:** Good thing we have front-row seats!

**Edward:** (oblivious to what's about to happen) I just wish that was me out on the field.

(One of the doors open)

**Snodgrass:** (peeking from the door) I can't believe it! (sniffles) They're cheering for me! (turns his attention to Walker) Any final instructions?!

**Principal Walker:** (gently pushes him out) Yeah. Make sure you've written a will. (slams the door shut)

**Snodgrass:** Huh?

**Announcer:** And out comes the bright class president of Lakeside City School...Snodgrass Phthiraptera!

(Cheering is heard)

**Snodgrass:** (dances) Oh yeah! That's right! That's right! You love me! WOOOOO!

**Announcer:** And his opponent on a battle to determine which school will reign superior in the football game...

**Snodgrass:** (suddenly turns uneasy) Battle? What battle?

**Announcer:** He stands at 7 feet and 1 inch, he's undefeated, he's the quarterback of the rival Stuyvesant High School, he has the mind of a fiery child...HOOOOOOOOOORSERADIIIIIIIISH!!!!

(A tall, stocky student bursts a metal door into pieces, revealing Horseradish)

**Horseradish:** That's it, you little maggot! Horseradish gonna chop you into itty-bitty pieces! (pounds his fists against his chest and roars as he charges towards Snodgrass)

**Snodgrass:** (he screams as his eyes pop out of his sockets, and his pupils are in the shapes of skulls) ***SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*** (he zips towards the door, and he knocks on it nonstop) THERE'S BEEN A MISTAKE! I AM **NOOOOOOT** THE CLASS PRESIDENT!!!!!

(The sounds of a train chugging and blowing its horn plays as Horseradish gets closer. Out of fear and desperation, Snodgrass repeatedly taps his red button from earlier, but the robot is seen in the crowd, eating a hot dog and enjoying Snodgrass' suffering. Horseradish rapidly approaches him closer)

**Snodgrass:** NO! NO, PLEASE, NO!!!!

(Walker is seen wearing a chiton from Ancient Greece, and Mr. Goodman is fanning a leaf in his direction)

**Principal Walker:** (hands him a banana) Uh, peel this, will ya, Goodman?

(Snodgrass screams bloody murder as he tries to run away, but Horseradish grabs him by the leg and drags him away, beating him mercilessly until a fight cloud is created. Snodgrass dashes out of the fight cloud, running on his all fours, but he gets grabbed by the rear end and dragged back in)

**Eric:** I don't think this looks like a fun game, Edward.

(A bone crunching is heard)

**Eric:** Should we help him?

**Edward:** Ummm...

(Horseradish starts chewing on Snodgrass similarly to gum, melting his skin into a puddle)

**Edward:** When I can't decide on a conflict, (takes out a notebook and pencil) I always write a list of pros and cons.

(Horseradish ties a rope around Snodgrass, and he uses him like a punching bag)

**Edward:** Alright, the list is finished!

**Dallas:** How did we do?

**Edward:** (looking at the list) Well, there are a lot of cons that apply to Snodgrass in general.

**Dallas:** And what about reasons to *help* him?

**Edward:** Ok.

(Beat)

**Edward:** Snodgrass is a Lakeside City School student.

(Another beat)

**Joey:** Is that it?

**Edward:** Yup.

(Horseradish forcibly twists Snodgrass' legs into knots, and he gives him a wedgie. He takes out a pole and hangs him upside down from there)

**Horseradish:** (stomps up towards him while cracking his knuckles and pulling up a sleeve) Stay right where you are so Horseradish smash you!

(Snodgrass whimpers as the crowd's reactions grow more wild)

**Dallas:** If we're gonna save our school's spirit, we better rescue Snodgrass too.

**Edward:** Yeah, that's the best reason yet.

(The other students butt in)

**Ivan:** Well, what are you guys waiting for?! (stands up) LET'S SAVE SNODGRASS!

**Everyone:** (in unison) LET'S SAVE SNODGRASS!

(The students hop out of the bleachers, jumping into the field. Horseradish growls at everybody)

**Edward:** (takes out a helmet labeled "Pain Transfer 2000") I always keep this baby in handy. (he puts it on. Horseradish tries to punch him, but once his hit lands, Horseradish sharply yelps in pain. Then, Edward whistles for Oscar, who lands on his shoulder) Oscar, sick 'em, boy!

**Oscar:** (hoots)

(Oscar quickly pecks Horseradish's eyes without any hesitation. While he's in pain, Joey pokes him on his left shoulder while on his right. Horseradish turns to his left, only to find nothing. Stanley pokes his right shoulder while on his left. He faces the right and still doesn't find anything. Joey blows an airhorn into Horseradish's ear, causing him to stumble backwards out of fear)

**Constantinos:** I hope this works...someone could get really hurt... (he reluctantly splashes water on the floor, and Horseradish trips on it, slipping into the air. He lands on Andrew's nachos)

**Andrew:** (hisses) STAY AWAY FROM MY NACHOS!!!! (smacks him back into the field)

**Wayne:** Hey, peabrain! 1.3 million volts coming your way!

(Wayne charges his body with over millions of electric volts, which zaps the entire stadium, before releasing it at Horseradish, who screams)

**Horseradish:** You're dead, Zappy! Dead! (runs towards him before tripping over Terry and Barry, who still have a trip wire attached to them)

**Terry and Barry:** Woo-hoo! (they high-five each other)

(Horseradish ends up in Dallas' grip)

**Dallas:** Carver, over here!

(Carver rushes in)

**Carver:** (sighs) If only he was Constantinos. (he repeatedly punches Horseradish's gut before uppercutting him through the air)

**Igor:** (poorly dressed as Match Boy while wearing his underwear on his pants) Match Boy to the rescue!

(He slides on the ground, trying to capture Horseradish, but he narrowly misses him and bumps into one of the doors instead. It opens, and a giant mechanical Walker crashes through the wall. Igor loudly screams before booking it)

**Eric:** (he is revealed to be controlling the robot) Hey Edward! Is this one big enough?

(Edward's jaw drops to the ground in astonishment)

**Principal Walker:** (eating a grape as he looks at Eric's own creation) Boy, is *that* thing ugly.

(Eric prepares to make the robot punch Horseradish, but it lightly flicks him instead, sending him crashing through the wall)

**Charles:** WALL OF FLAMES, BABY! (he generates a burst of flames towards him)

**Horseradish:** AAAAHHHH!!!! IT BURNS!!!!

(Eric makes the robotic Walker corner him)

**Horseradish:** Come out and fight like man!

**Eric:** (slides down) I'd prefer to fight like a wasp.

(Eric opens a jar of wasps. A swarm of wasps surround Horseradish, constantly stinging him everywhere. He screams bloody murder and runs out of the stadium, trying to outrun the horde)

(Everybody cheers more excitedly than ever)

**Andrew:** Oh dang, I lost the bet!

**Jacob:** (laughs and barks) Revenge is mine! Now hand over the money.

**Andrew:** Ugh, fine. (hands him a wad of cash)

(The students walk up to Snodgrass, who is still hanging upside down with a wedgie)

**Edward:** Way to go, Snodgrass! You single-handedly restored school spirit! (they walk away)

**Snodgrass:** (smiles) Yeah. That's what being class president must be, all about!

(Walker and Goodman approach him)

**Principal Walker:** Nice going, glasses boy. You're the first class president to have ever survived. Maybe when we meet with Tough Toenails Academy next week, I won't place bets against ya. (they leave as well)

**Snodgrass:** Thank you, sir! I'll be there with pride, because I'm the class president! I'M THE CLASS PRESIDENT!!!!

(Camera zooms out to show a wide shot of the stadium)

**Snodgrass:** ***I'M THE CLASS PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!***

(Iris out)

("The End" screen)

(Episode ends)

(Credits scene begins with Andrew and Jacob exiting Madison Square Garden after the football game had ended)

**Andrew:** (holding a tape) Oh my god, I can't believe it, Jacob! I sneaked a camera through security and recorded the whole match! Yeah, I sold our TV so I could bet on poor Snodgrass losing, but at least I have something to cherish forever - my idol Edward, fighting!

**Jacob:** (gasps) Andrew, look out!

**Andrew:** (looks behind him) Huh?!

(Jacob "accidentally" knocks the tape into a sewer hole, and it gets drenched in the mucky water)

**Andrew:** I didn't see anything.

(Suddenly, he notices his tape is missing, and Jacob is trying to hold in his laughter)

**Andrew:** Jacob. Where did my tape go?

(As the Chatterbox logo is shown, we hear him saying...)

**Andrew:** Come on, Jacob, I'm serious!

(Rest of the closing logos)