Act 1: Barovia for Beginners

## The Death House

"It hurt. A lot."
— Sylvain Vanborin
Days 1–2. Our heroes find themselves taken in by the mists of Barovia and lured into a haunted house. They steal hats and bread, fight suits of armour and broomsticks, almost die a cumulative four times, and narrowly escape with their lives and a lead: Strahd von Zarovich. **Read more ➜**

* Bodaway Meets the Mantle Figurines
* Your Friend is Almost Dead on a Table
* Stranger Danger
* Death House: Always Good to the Last Drop

## The Village of Barovia

"At that time, Bodaway asked the question on everyone’s minds. Where in the Nine Hells was Barovia? He hesitated a moment, as if trying to think of a way to explain our particular location. That was not a good sign."
— Sylvain Vanborin
Day 2. Our heroes meet a kindly old lady with an abundance of pie, get a gift basket from Strahd, and meet the Kolyanovich/Kolyana siblings. They ignore a sobbing woman but accept a quest to transport Ireena to Vallaki, beyond the clutches of the dastardly Strahd. **Read more ➜**

* Death House: Always Good to the Last Drop
* The Value of Pie

## A is for Adoption, B is for Burial

"I will admit, our bit of smoke and mirrors there was rather impressive and effective. Just…too effective."
— Sylvain Vanborin
Day 3. Our heroes — now with bonus doggo — form a funeral procession to the local church, where it turns out the local priest is mad. They adopt his snarky gay vampire son, bury the burgomaster, and try to hurry up and start their quest. **Read more ➜**

* The Value of Pie
* Non-Lethal Magical Bonking

## The Road to Vallaki: The Vistani

"I’m not saying I believed it to be true when I walked through that tent and Madame Eva greeted us. I’m saying I didn’t want it to be. I have no interest in learning my future. I’m not afraid of it, but I see no point in knowing it."
— Sylvain Vanborin
Day 3. Our heroes start their journey to Vallaki, spending the night with the nomadic Vistani, where one Vistana proclaims both Osrin and Ireena his love interest, Ri-An claims another as their love interest after a fateful gift of Hat, and the whole group gets some free prophecies. **Read more ➜**

* Non-Lethal Magical Bonking

## The Road to Vallaki: The Battle

"He showed a weakness, today. Dangerous as He is, He is exploitable. His obsession cuts two ways. And He is arrogant. And He is beholden to His own curse. And these are tools. But what do we build with them?"
— Bodaway
Day 4. Our heroes have their first full day on the road after an initial delay due to someone's dirty little pie habit. They fight a revenant who's mostly only trying to fight Doru, make camp for the night, get ambushed by wolves, then discover they're actually fighting Strahd. Ireena saves their lives for the first time. **Read more ➜**

* The Ball is Stressed
* The Wolf Blender
* Session 7 (9/13/20)
* Session 8 (9/27/20)
* Well, fuck.

## The Road to Vallaki: The Marathon

"When (if) we get to Vallaki, I need a strong fucking drink."
— Osrin Baralet
Day 5. Eager to get the fuck off the road and to the illusion of safety, our heroes push themselves in a gruelling march above and beyond their normal capabilities, arguing over a windmill, charming one another, killing some bats and some zombies in the process, before finally collapsing in exhaustion. **Read more ➜**

* The Wolf Blender
* You've Got Mail
* Session 8 (9/27/20)
* Session 9 (10/9/20)
* We are still on the road.

## Vallaki: Police State 101

"If you are here, you can see well enough yourself just how cracked about the head, Vallaki is, what with their lawful demand for joy and the mandatory celebrations, and the pride of being without Strahd a hundred years — it’s all a thin sham to me, but maybe it’s better to live the lie than the truth of death as they do in the town of Barovia."
— Bodaway
Day 6. Our heroes arrive in Vallaki and discover it's about as much of a safe haven as they could, at this point, reasonably expect Barovia to have on offer. They unwillingly adopt a noble and manage to make their way through customs despite their own personalities. They set up at the Blue Water Inn, run by the surprisingly pleasant Martikov family, and receive unwelcome news from a mysterious bard. **Read more ➜**

* Customs and Border Protection
* ~~Ricadro~~
* Somehow, we have made it to Vallaki.

## Vallaki: Shopping Episode

"Cloaks were brought out. A couple of black ones and a crimson red. The red one caught my eye. Red has never really been my colour, but I’ll take anything that isn’t black, brown or grey (though I must admit I do like some dashing black attire on occasion). Barovia needs some more colour, as long as it’s not my blood painting the ground. Experimented with that art form a little too much already."
— Sylvain Vanborin
Day 7. Our heroes begin their time in Vallaki — one they hope will be more relaxing than Rictavio "Ricardo" the Bard suggested — by running errands. Clothes and books are acquired. Ceramics are nowhere to be found. Bodaway still doesn't know where the brothel is. **Read more ➜**

* ~~Ricadro~~
* Deboned

## Vallaki: The Orphanage

"I saw the smoke move across the attic towards me. It was like a void. The absence of light itself."
— Sylvain Vanborin
Day 7. Having discovered Vallaki's local hallowed ground ain't so hallowed these days, our heroes investigate at the local orphanage, splitting the party three ways in the process. They find their prime suspect unconscious with fever, and then they find a surprise demon in one of the local children. Bodaway and Sylvain almost die, Vasili turns up again, Ayduin gets a fan club, Osrin and Grghshnq scar various children for life. **Read more ➜**

* Deboned
* Bodaway Owes Sylvain a Drink

## Vallaki: Diplomacy

"Cooperation, courtesy and consent, Sylvain. Just a little bit longer until you can go trespass in a coffin shop."
— Sylvain Vanborin
Day 7. The party continues their very long first day in Vallaki by resting up post-demon fight, with Vasili accompanying Ireena for more errand-running, while Ri-An and Ayduin chaperone. A visit is paid to the burgomaster, who's surprisingly pleasant, and whose henchman has countless dolls of Bodaway throughout the years and who thinks they're long-lost half-siblings, no big. They have dinner with the Lady Wachter and Vasili, discovering she is way more chill with Strahd than a reasonable person ought to be, and that she received a prophecy several decades ago from Madam Eva suggesting that their presence may mean the dawn of a new age in Vallaki. **Read more ➜**

* I'm an Action Figure!
* Boned

## Vallaki: The Feast of St. Andral's

"I felt horrible. I could feel where the rapier pierced my heart. All of my muscles ached and shook. I was absolutely exhausted. I had died only minutes before. I had been dead. Ireena had been kidnapped and I didn’t know if my friends were all right."
— Sylvain Vanborin
Day 7. The party breaks into a coffin shop, gets ambushed by Strahd and six vampire spawn. Sylvain dies. Bodaway is knocked unconscious. Sylvain gets better. Bodaway does not. Grghshnq gets a whole bag of bones, is promptly killed over them. Sylvain goes chasing after the bones after making a deal with the Kingmaker. Ri-An, Ayduin, and Osrin get trapped in a magic bubble with the world's poutiest vampire. Strahd makes an impassioned speech; Ireena saves their lives for the second time and peaces out on a flaming horse. Everything is terrible forever. **Read more ➜**

* Boned
* Rule Number 7

## Vallaki: Recovery

"It’s not wrong to introduce an inexperienced construct to extremely unrealistic representations of relationships and sex is it?"
— Sylvain Vanborin
Day 8. The party licks their wounds in the aftermath. Bodaway gets better. Grghshnq does not. Ri-An rejects their local ultra-powerful valley girl. Rictavio recovers from chasing a scootchy vampire spawn. Bodaway builds a ball. Ayduin and Sylvain talk to a priest. Osrin wakes Rictavio up too early. Ri-An fashions an urn. **Read more ➜**

* Murphy and His Law Can Suck It
* Trustworthy Degenerates

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