Server Quotes

A collection of quotes from the epic Jomker server! These are all taken out of context. There are slight differences in the amount of quotes in each part, as the system to record any sufficient quotes is purely on the listener.

This page will get updated with new quotes as they come.

## Zack Quotes

* “Oh wait that’s a blue cock”
* "Its like driving while drunk and autistic"
* "I HAVE BEEN HERE SO MANY TIMES THAT HITLER HIMSELF well he was dead"
* "how much would it hurt if you put your cock in-between 2 asteroids?"
* "DICK TRON"
* "I wonder how much a dog's leg is worth"
* "Shut up Beethoven"
* "I want to make a baby"
* "im coming really fast"
* "yeah just suck it, just suck the brine"
* "imagine how bad tourism is gonna be now, you ask "hey can i have a map?" and they bring out a 400 pound redditor"
* "God i REALLY wanted to murder that kid"..."I want to FUCKING CHOKE him"
* "It's an addiction, I think I inhaled almost all of the flavour"
* "HIT THE JIZZ!"
* "i want to make MONEY i want to make alot of MONEY, i need MONEY."
* "I have never seen a black person"
* "me resisting the urge to smash my flesh altar" - "you know my meatsmacker"
* "im trafficing young girls but i wont admit that."
* "losing your viriginity is like losing a family member"
* "was that after he got hit by the train?"

* "If i shot Adam Sandler in the neck, i wouldn't feel a thing!"
* "Everyone hated the gays it was so nice!"
* "Its so funny watching people die!"
* "i cant take my eyes away from that chica... im just gonna pull my cock out right now"
* "holy shit the anti christ is cooking"

## Thomas Quotes

* "i love men" (x28)
* "julius would NEVER go to prison for mass murder, teehee"
* "please take my (carrot) seed"
* "i am super mario galaxy" - at 3am in his sleep
* "tee hee"
* tee hee x2
* literally thomas

* "im chewing on a bar of lead and nobody can stop me"
* "im Elvis Presley"
* "https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/927159816114274336/1005432166953533480/unknown.png"
* "where is joe bidens right arm"
* "i am now officially a safety hazard"
* "haha ^ "
* "I just really support segregation"
* "thats a really good hole"
* "cheasel, do you get it? It's like micheal but he's a cheasel!"
* "wooaooaaahhhhhhh,,,, boobies........"
* "My horny ass could NOT roll that boulder up the hill forever"
* Thomas: "dude i've eaten cat food that tastes better than mac and cheese." Dylan: "when have you eaten cat food?" Dylan: "fooboo was looking at his bikkies and i wanted some."
* "liberal Papers Please be like: Onlyfans Please!"
* "me when my finger is trapped in my mouth so i must chew it off"
* "wake up, XBOX LIVE!, sleep"
* "zoinkers boinkers!"
* Thomas: "im the vent goblin!" Julius: "the vent goblin when i throw in a frag grenade"
* "Zach feel my (pure white) bowling balls"

## Julius Quotes

* "I can't fart"
* "awwww man i went for a shower, came back and now im gay"
* "ï'm gay" on multiple occasions
* "Steven Seagal's Powerful Kick" - julius' amd zachs taekwondo coach
* "You will watch pornography, and you will like it." - julius' and zachs health teacher
* "I unintentionally kick people in the balls." - as julius goes on to talk about how he kicked a 12 year old in the balls at taekwondo
* "I wanna kill Thomas and Zach"
* “Honestly there are a lot of hot men in dark souls”
* "i fucking love undertale r34"
* "Humphrey is a cynical fucker"
* "Does spongebob feel creamy? I feel creamy for spongebob."
* "hes a big dumb monkey that crushes his balls constantly"
* "can i shit in the coolant"
* "WAIT BRITISH!"
* "i would shoot anyone in the mouth"
* "*looks up trollface quest tutorial like a loser*"
* "im so hard because i cant stop thinking about spring trap farting!"
* "she muma'd my coco but my hope will never die"
* "i mean i would fuck the shit out of that leprachaun"
* "funny funny funny funny,,,... funny funny funny,..," - as he is dying
* "come out willy come on come on come on!" - as he is trying to figure out if he is a man
* "GAZOOONKS!!!!"
* "because you're a... (*high note)* PUUSSSAYYY!!!" - he remarks to dylan when playing spy in mann vs machine
* "Its REALLY hard not to say the n word"
* "i am the ugliest motherfucker on the pla-net!"

## Dylan Quotes

* "I accidentally carpet bombed the CCP!"
* "this certifiecate of appareia0hcastej ewr iijesr-uj0ihjfiawsehf sdfg ;lsdzivhopifhjjkmvfsopihn wrkodgg esdaropik;vhnjfd[pighjdpi[bfgjbf jdf[pgbjdtopijegb[edr ]ztdg;fodtgjhbfdg [oh fdgikhbfdg[o\hj d]ghobfdgnb'b ]fgkbfdg]hnjfs]g[obnkfg [obm"
* "were gonna rip his spine out and feed it to the dogs" - while talking about zach
* "I LOVE LITTLE KIDS"
* "could you die here if i shot your head with a magnum?"
* "He's a purple guy"
* "Quandale Dingle goes rehehehehe!"
* "im going to name my son piggy poggy pog jr so I can murder him in his sleep"
* "i love pissing on people"
* "For me, Undertale isn't a game, it's a lifestyle"
* "I love children."
* "IM GOING TO LOSE MY JOB"
* "how do i get off the bus?" - as he was being dragged away by a bus into the fog with pyrocinical
* "Dude that armour was her BOOBS"
* "mama coco can take 5 at a time"
* "i need some healing potions"
* "My horny ass could NOT roll that boulder up the hill forever" - copying thomas
* "Imagine if a rabbid wearing a skin suit went BWAAH!"
* "ok lud-buds, lets slay."
* "im not playing the bible anymore"
* "I love hot roxy porn... BAHHHHHHH"
* "He's built like a dump truck facing the wrong way" - when talking about elon musk
* "When she says she's 18 and a coin flip appears"
* "racism is always funny unless its ageist me"

## Edoardo Quotes

* "im trying to change my gender, how do you?"
* "guys, guys,,, guys im hard"
* "I was bored so I watched a nekopara lore video, and I shit you not, there was some *HEAVY* shit in there"
* "JOKES OVER..."
* "oh he's Irish? That's even worse!"

## Yeshua Quotes

* "you know what im gonna kill myself"
* "SHUT UP! let me explain why we dont like black"
* "I don't want to hear this from the man who did so much dilly-dallying he watched a neco-para video"
* "I'm fricky with that"

## Marcus Quotes

* “Marcus I swear to god if you carpet bomb me one more time I’ll fuck your ass till your nose bleeds cum” - his friend in halo wars
* "I need to make babies, AND FAST!"
* "Macbeth is fucking dead"

## Side Characters or smth idc

* "Hi, I'm Screaming Bob!" - Screaming 'Loudly' Bob!
* "I AM A LITTLE BABY MAN AND I HATE MEN AND I HATE SCOTT THE WOZ AND I HATE MR BORMOLINI AND I HATE PENIS AND I HATE SUPER MARIO 1, 2, 3, 4, AND GALAXY AND I HATE HOT STEAMY MEN THAT ARE IN MY AREA AND I HATE SPONGEBOB AND I HATE THE COOL TASTING TOILET LIQUID GRRRRR" - the @GREEDY role
* "You know else got suffocated by the police? George Floyd!" - racist muscle man
* "we have intercourse by force" - russian
* “You just activated my trap card!” - some year 7 who said this really loudly in the library
* (NEW JOMPKER MCDONALD BURGER RECIPE) 1. lettuce 2. Cheese (with face) 3. Ham 4. tomato Sause 5. mayo 6. chocolate sauce 7. honey 8. barbeque 9. soy Sause 10, Grape juice (must be freshly squeegeed) 11. toasted top bun (leave the bottom untoasted) 12. a sprinkle of salt from the Himalayas.