recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
S03: Meet the Author - Cheryl Dyson

## Episode Summary

This is a special episode in which the Golden Threesome interview the author of the season 3 story "The Critiquer", dysonrules (AKA Cheryl Dyson).

NOTE: This is only a summary and not a word-for-word transcript of the interview.

* Has written over 120 fanfics
* First fanfiction was a Dramione, Draco: Phoenix Rising
	+ People kept commenting that they wished it was a Drarry, which led to her writing a Draco escort story, and she became hooked on Drarry, which is now the majority of her output.
* Has no problem with inspiration; has a million ideas still brewing.
* Will only ever write a deathfic if one of them is dead and comes back to life (which she did write one like that, In Pieces)
* Currently living in Washington state
* Advises the hosts about the AO3 version which has NSFW visual GIFs
* Draco/Harry grudge wasn't that prominent in this fic since they're older and more mature.
* This story is based on a real tumblr account
* This story was written for a "Career Fest" festival, so there was certain rules around which professions they could have.
* The accents and the ticklefest was just for something different after writing SO MANY sex scenes.
* Gillian asked how her versions are different:
	+ Each one is different. She likes to mix their personalities up for different stories.
* Where did Jason come from?
	+ Wanted a substitute for Colin Creevey, but that wouldn't take over the story.
	+ Jason has moved onto a different hobby now.
* Christie and Gillian wanted to know whether photography is a hobby of hers:
	+ Researched photography, but didn't know anything about it before starting writing.
* Dream celebrity dick pick: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
* Why did Dean Thomas not get a higher rating (despite his generous assets)
	+ No artistic merit
	+ Pictures Seamus up for anything, but she imagines Dean as straight
* Likes to make her secondary characters (like Mindy) interesting to expand the world past the canon characters.
* Is on Fanfiction.net, but is slowly moving her works over to AO3 because she likes the format better.
* Has a beginner's guide to Harry and Draco on her LiveJournal.
* Recommends who\_la\_hoop, faithwood, fireflavored
* Shared a list of her favourite fics
Equal Nipple Play

The equal nipple play joke originated in episode 2 of quickie 8, when Lyndsay pointed out that there always seems to be equal nipple play in fics. Allie polled the hosts to ask whether they had one nipple that was more sensitive than the other. Danny thinks his nipples may be different from a woman's (they aren't, fyi.)

## Referenced in

* S02E01 - Love Potion No. 9 3/4: (not verbally acknowledged, but story contains it. "She gasped in pleasure as his tongue found one of her nipples, while his fingers lightly danced around the other.")
* Q08E02 - Dela Dela Bills, Y'all - Lyndsay officially points out the trope of equal nipple play often being used in fiction
* Q09 - Wolfstar of David
* Q11 - Brotherly Lovehorn
* S07E01: CAUTION: Grinding Starts Forest Fires
Ms-Figg

Ms-Figg (real name Ruth Solomon) was the author of "In the Prefect's Bathroom", the story read in Season 1 of The Potterotica Podcast. During the first season there was some controversy as to whether Allie and Lyndsay had obtained permission by Ms-Figg to read her story on the podcast, as she is sadly deceased. Ally and Lyndsay clarified in "Here's the Deal with Ms. Figg" that they had in fact gotten permission from her son.

## Featured in

* Season 1 - Features story "In the Prefect's Bathroom",
* Here's the Deal with Ms. Figg - The hosts clear up the controversy surrounding the use of her story after her death.
* Potterotica LIVE! @ ECCC: Think Inside Her Box
S08E04 - Maître of D

## Maître of D

This is the fourth episode of Season 8, and it covers chapter 3 of "He Who Must Not Be Disobeyed", which was co-written by two Potterotics, BrandonStrayne and Keep\_Calm\_And\_Expecto\_Patronum.

## Episode Summary

Albus is having second thoughts about meeting the mysterious man outside of the club, but with Bathilda ready to send out the search party if need be, he conquers his fear, and the two work on establishing trust before revealing their identities.

## Notable Moments

* Giggles makes another appearance.
* Albus looks for BDSM clues in The Tale of Three Brothers.
* Bathilda doesn't want to lose her sex club wing man.
* Danny nails French pronunciations
* The hosts may be getting Buttery Nipple body shots this weekend.
* "Bathilda's into water sports." ~ Allie
* "I love to wakeboard." ~ Lyndsay
* Allie tells a story about a "haunted house" she went to that may have been a sex club.
* "I'm nobody's Kelpie!" ~ Allie
* Your best friend is the person you tell where you're going on Bumble dates in case you get murdered.
* "MONDAY?!" ~ Allie, moments before Bathilda has the same reaction.
* Danny does not nail the pronunciation of "dingy" :)
* The hosts talk about "la petite morte" meaning "little death" but don't realize that is a French euphemism for an orgasm, so Gellert is the Master of Orgasms in the story. A potterotic later informs them of this and they note it in their instagram post for the story.
* Gasping Lyndsay
* "LUXURY!"
* Lyndsay and Albus are on the same page when it comes to anonymity.
* "Will you take an Unbreakable Vow of Go Get Me a Diet Coke?!" ~ Danny
* Unbreakable vow of chastity? Check. Titty twist? Check. Ready to go!

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Green (Up)

* In the mood and ready to rock

Danny: Green (Up)

* Albus was safe (the Vow, the masks)

Lyndsay: Green (Up)

* Thrilled. Loves the Unbreakable Vow of Chastity, loves the masks and the boner ending.
Potterotica LIVE! - Gin-ny & Polyjuice

The event we all wish we could rewind time to attend.

This episode may alternately be called "Potterotica LIVE! - Harry, Ginny & Polyjuice Potion", which is the title of the actual fanfiction piece by harryginny1.

This is a special episode that was recorded live at Quenchers Saloon in Chicago and it was their very first live event. The hosts begin the episode by describing some of the fun elements they used at the event:

* Harmonica sound - Goblet of Desire was used and attendees were invited on stage to provide sound effects whenever the "drinking word" was said.
* Drinking word: tongue. Whenever this is read, everyone takes a drink.
* Wands up or Down cards: Everyone had a card and would hold the appropriate one up as the story progressed for how they were feeling it.
* Candy bar called "Honey Dicks" included cotton candy "unicorn pubes", Dots were "dragon nipples", Rolos were "chocolate witch tits", Gummy worms were "limp wands", etc.
* Drink specials: Butterface beer, Feilx Felicious, Firecrotch whiskey, Sex on the Black Lake, Polyamorousjuice.

Due to a TECH HEX! there was some audio recording issues.

## Episode Summary

Harry and Ginny decide to explore the erotic possibilities of Polyjuice Potion in the bedroom and swap roles.

## Notable Moments

* The hosts begin by giving the audience a brief intro to the Potterotica universe and the podcast.
* Danny reads a snippet of a fanfic featuring the Giant Squid and Hogwarts
* Danny's Harry voice
* "Harry wore Ginny like a suit of skin." ~ Allie
* "I think I want to have sex with me...I mean, people should want that." ~ Lyndsay
* "That's his big move. Kissing her neck." ~ Lyndsay
* "We're ruining Harry Potter AND harmonicas." ~ Danny
* "We should call them 'Hermionicas'" ~ Lyndsay
* "Neck, Shoulder, Nib, Neck" ~ Lyndsay
* (D:) That's so passive aggressive. No passive aggressive sex acts (L:) Don't show me what you DON'T like.
* (A:) Aren't you glad your dad decided not to come tonight? (D:) Nana, Hi! No, also not here.
* "I'm thinking about my grandma now." ~ Danny
* "I wish this story would have been called 'Harry's Vagina Expanding'" ~ Lyndsay
* This must have been Hermione's idea
* "This row just wants a hump and dump over here!" ~ Allie
* "We want more nibs!" ~ Lyndsay
* "Did someone say they already ate? Gross!" ~ Lyndsay
* "I don't have a whiteboard here, but they spent 11 minutes having sex and 3 hours just making out?" ~ Danny

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Down

* Hard time getting into Harry (both literally and figuratively)
* Nibs were the saving grace

Danny: Up

* Very creative and relationship building/strengthening

Lyndsay: Down

* Too much "nib"

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* Kim, Chase, Julie, and Valerie were called up on stage to help with the reading.
Bobsled / Feel the Rhythm

Feel the Rhythm, AKA the Jamaican Bobsled joke originated within the podcast when a 90's reference was made about the Jamaican bobsled team during Season 4, but what really made it achieve legendary status was Emily Porter's visualization of it seen to the left.

## Referenced in

* S04E06 - When 3 Become 1 - Origin
* Q07E02 - Loose Lips Sink 'Ships
* Q09 - Wolfstar of David
* Q10 - Ron's Tiny Problem: A modified version is created starring The Golden Trio.
* S05E01 - A Hellova Hangover: Danny mentions it as a possible threat for cheating at Wango.
* Patreon Q2E3 - Rising from the Asses
* Patreon S8B2 - Bathilda Moneyshot
Victoria Rose

A true original and the queen 'Lily' of the group (have you heard her version of Jolene?), Victoria Rose Johnson has been breaking hearts and causing major boners with her sultry vocals and hot, hot lyrics.
Be sure to check out her epic introduction into our hearts (and most importantly, our undapants) in Quickie 7, Episode 1: Sugar and Spice and Everything Naughty. Her musical talents were once again featured in episode 2 of Season 6.

## Shout Outs!

* Q07E01 - Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice - cover of Jolene called "Lily" can be downloaded here.
* S06E02 - Sleeping with the Enemy - cover of Tove Lo's Talking Body, download here.
Season 7

Season 7 features a series of short fics that are part of Pommedeplume's "The Boy Who Lived and the Girl Who Topped" series.

## Summary

Harry needs some time to "discover himself" so he and Ginny decide to press pause on their relationship, leaving Ginny free to get to know Luna...intimately.

## Episodes

* S07E01 - CAUTION: Grinding Starts Forest Fires - Featuring "A Memorable Farewell" and the beginning of "Yearning Hearts"
* S07E02 - Happy BirthLAY - Continues "Yearning Hearts" and then begins "Open to Love".
* S07E03 - HoliGay Inn - Continues "Open to Love" and moves onto "Things to Do in Berlin (When You're Bored)"
* S07E04 - Neville Schlongbottom - This episode continues "Things to Do in Berlin (When You're Bored)" and then covers "Normal Things" and the beginning of "The Girl Who Topped"
* S07E05 - "I Would Love to Sit On Your Beautiful Face." - This episode continues "The Girl Who Topped"
* S07E06 - Fear Boner - This episode continues "The Girl Who Topped", finishing chapter 1. They then accidentally skip chapter 2 and instead proceed to the next work in the series, "Sort of Friends and Lovers"
* S07E07 - "You Randy Bastard..." - This episode completes chapter 1 of "Sort of Friends and Lovers", they then accidentally skip chapter 2 and instead dive into "Various Climaxes".
* S07E08 - Hokey Poke Me - This episode completes "Various Climaxes" and then also starts and completes the final story in the series, "Welcome to the Family".

## Relationships

* Ginny Weasley/Harry Potter
* Ginny Weasley/Luna Lovegood
* Lavender Brown/Parvati Patil (background)
* Harry Potter/Neville Longbottom
* Neville Longbottom/Hannah Abbott
* Hannah Abbott/Susan Bones (mentioned)
* Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley (mentioned)
* Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley/Viktor Krum (mentioned)

## Other Characters that Appear

* Hermione Granger
* Morag McDougal
* Terry Boot (mentioned)
* Katie Bell
* Draco Malfoy
* Lucius Malfoy
* Ernest McMillan
* Justin Finch-Fletchley (mentioned)
* Susan Bones (mentioned)
* Ron Weasley

## Notable Jokes, Gags, and References

* Musical Parodies (Episode 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
* DICK NIC! and TRACK SEX! (Episode 1)
* Gasping Lyndsay (Episode 1, 2)
* "Check your underpants, you're in there." (Episode 1)
* Equal Nipple Play (Episode 1)
* Lyndsay's Sex Logistics (Episode 1, 3)
* Dense Harry (Episode 2, 3) - Harry's secret identity, "Parry Hotter"
* Danny's lackluster orgasm impersonation sounds like falling down a well (Episode 2, 3, 8)
* Danny makes sports references (Episode 3)
* \*kiss\* Sorry! (Episode 3)
* The -Ughorns (Episode 3, 4, 5)
* #NewYearEwwMe (Episode 3)
* Danny's Spongebob Squarepants references (Episode 3, 4, 7)
* Lyndsay's almost sexual love of Doritos (Episode 4)
* Harry becomes a snooty British woman when he's aroused (Episode 5)
* Arm hands (Episode 5)
The Pen15 is Mightier

The Pen15 is Mightier is a spin-off Facebook group of the Potterotics dedicated to writing. It was started by Potterotics writing under the pen names Keep\_Calm\_And\_Expecto\_Patronum, ladygrangerdanger, and scintilla\_misha.

The group has been created for those Potterotics who are aspiring or well-seasoned fanfiction writers. Even if you’re only dallying with the idea of writing, you are welcome here!

Here we can share our work and bounce ideas off of one another, perhaps even act as beta’s for each other’s work.

Just remember, this is a creative space! There’s no such thing as a stupid idea, and all ideas and suggestions are welcomed. Everyone is going to be constructive and respectful of each other’s work and suggestions because that is the Potterotica spirit.

## Writing Challenges

The club features several writing challenges to encourage members to flex their creative muscles and to explore new types of pairings, themes, etc.

* Weekly 100-Word Fic Challenge - This is a weekly challenge where a theme is presented and members are encouraged to write a short ~100 word fic (AKA a "drabble") around that theme/idea. The drabbles are posted directly in the Facebook group thread as comments.
* Monthly Writing Challenge - This is a bi-monthly challenge of slightly longer form fics. The requested fiction length is between 3000 and 10000 words. The fics are posted on a relevant fanfiction site (e.g. AO3, or FF) and then a link to the fic is posted as a comment in the Facebook thread.
	+ A "best fic" award, The Golden Stiffie, is issued for fun and the winners name is added to a plaque in The Trophy Room.

## Other Activities/Information

* Free-for-all Friday - This is an opportunity to promote a story you have in progress to get feedback, to bounce ideas around, or to just share the plot bunny that you've been chasing around your head. Share your favorite writing tip or ask for help starting writing. The rules, as always, are to have fun and be kind!
* Beta readers - The group also maintains a list of people willing to do beta reads of fics.

## Choose Your Own Potterotica Adventure

A number of Potterotics collaborated on a project that was organized by Chelsea and produced a Choose your own adventure style story called "Hogwarts: A Homecoming" which is available on AO3. It's also available via Dropbox with files that have the links pointing within the book rather than to websites. If you're planning on downloading it, you should download it from here:

* Epub Download
* Mobi Download (for Kindle)
* Accessible PDF version that has all storylines arranged in sequence so they can be read aloud by an app

There is also a map of all of the possible story paths, but it's only available in the Ravenclaw Common Room, which can only be entered by answering a riddle:

*If you are stressed, these may be found*

To help turn that feeling right around

Cups, cakes, cones, and floats

Fruit, mint, nuts, and oats

They may come last, but options abound
Q08 - For The Very First Time

In this Quickie, the hosts read "For the Very First Time" by Sazula - our very first Bleur/DelaWeasley/DelaBill/DelaDelaBill fic!

## Summary

With Bill and Fleur's wedding approaching, Fleur worries about their sex life - or lack thereof. Will she and Bill find the time to have their first time before the big day?

## Other Characters That Appear

* Luna Lovegood
* Arthur Weasley
* Molly Weasley

## Episodes

* Q08E01 - The Hot and Sexy Loving
* Q08E02 - Dela Dela Bills, Y'all

## Jokes, Gags and References

* The correct pronunciation of "Delacour" (Episode 1, 2)
* The -Ughorns (Episode 1, 2)
* Cards Against Muggles Potterotica Edition (Episode 1)
* FANG WANG!! and NEXT HEX!! (Episode 1)
* Musical Parodies
	+ Potterotic Stephanie Stratos sings "Ready that Sexy Fanfic"
* The Black Cloth (Episode 2)
* Gasping Lyndsay (Episode 2)
* Equal Nipple Play (Episode 2)
* Croissants being ruined (Episode 2)
S03E05 - Overstarved Libido

## Overstarved Libido

Now available: The Magical, colour-changing Spanky Hanky (Patent pending)

The story for this season is "The Critiquer" by dysonrules and this episode continues with part 1 of the story and moves onto part 2.

## Episode Summary

Harry and Jason continue their photography education and Draco increases his appreciation of Potter. The burner owls are busy delivering cock pictures to the Critiquer.

## Notable Moments

* The hosts kick off the episode with a reimagined version of "Ironic", topped off with a "ITSBEN"
* The hosts joke that they've just added another song to the playlist that they'll never actually make (but which I have made here)
* This season is like My Fair Lady, but with dick pics
* Danny's family would be supportive of his career change to designing wizarding porn magazine covers.
* Dorm Elf sex parties...lots of stiff socks.
* Danny has some interesting/upsetting search history now and Lyndsay wants to review it.
* Lyndsay is still trying to understand how this magazine job of Draco's works (note: the AO3 version of the story actually contains mockups of the magazine with moving gifs, but the hosts were not using that version to read from so they didn't realize that at the time.)
* Harry bought a burner owl for his dick pic submissions.
* Hosts joke that Harry has lightning shaped pubes
* Who's Jason?? - He's so forgettable, that Lyndsay not only forgot about him again, but that they had previously joked about how forgettable he is. Allie accidentally calls him "janitor".
* The hosts hope Blaise Zabini is making an appearance.
* Gasping Lyndsay
* Lyndsay and Danny congratulate themselves that they know the "Lumos" spell.
* Danny suggests changing the word "Jason" to "penis"
* Allie's idea of cock pics apparently includes props and outfits.
* The Spanky Hanky is born - changes colour when it has spunk on it.
* Draco must have had a very good wank if he was too tired to even clean himself after.
* Draco's origin story is revealed - he was cheated on by Stanton.
* If you don't wash under your fingernails, you're not getting anywhere near Allie's body.
* Lyndsay admits they cheated and looked ahead and physical stuff starts happening next week
* Episode ends with a "blooper reel" of them doing a remix of "Genie in a Bottle"

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Liking that Draco is wanking to Harry now too
* stage is set
* hoftie, but overall up

Lyndsay: Up

* hoftie, but overall up

Danny: Up

* Literary equivalent of dry humping
* hoftie, but overall up

## Potterotics Shout Outs!

* Magical Porn magazine names (originally requested in episode 3): Theresa submitted "Pages of Erised", Nicole submitted "Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them", Amy submitted "Muggs" (Muggle focused), Scott submitted "The Submissive Centaur" and "Chasers and Beaters" (sports/BDSM themed), Christie-ann submitted "Dobby Style", Sophie submitted "Hornydukes", "What Witch's Want" by Teresa and "Howler" by Kylie.
Season 4

Season 4 takes us back to the Marauder's era - and things get steamy as the hosts read "Slipping" by betta329.

## Summary

When James and Lily discover Sirius masturbating to the sounds of them having sex, Lily and Sirius can't stop fantasizing about each other.

## Pairings

* James/Lily
* Sirius/Lily
* James/Sirius
* James/Sirius/Lily
* Sirius/Remus
* James/Remus (implied)
* James/Remus/Sirius (implied)

## Episodes

* S04E01 - Masturbation Managed
* S04E02 - Temptation Unleashed
* S04E03 - Have her C#ck and Eat It Too
* S04E04 - Oversexed Underpants
* S04E05 - Throuple Trouble
* S04E06 - When 3 Become 1

## Notable Jokes, Gags and References from Season 4

* 70's Musical Parodies
	+ Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" (Episode 1)
	+ Blue Swede's "Hooked On A Feeling" (Episode 2)
	+ Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" (Episode 3)
	+ Rick James' "Super Freak" (Episode 4)
	+ ABBA's "Dancing Queen" (Episode 5)
	+ Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" (Episode 6)
	+ Donna Summer's "Last Dance" (Episode 6)
* Gasping Lyndsay (Episode 2, 3, 4, 5)
* The -Ughorns (Episode 3)
* New GrammaGram product: Frick Ton Hair Spray (Episode 3), Scourge Laundry Detergent (Episode 4)
* Burner Owls (Episode 4)
* The Black Undies Turned Black Cloth (Episode 4, 5)
* Verginer (Episode 5, 6)
* The Bobsled (Episode 6)
* Lyndsay's Sex Logistics...but really all of them are trying to pin them down in this episode (Episode 6)
S08E05 - Don't Mind if I Dil-do!

## Don't Mind if I Dil-do!

Potterotic Chelsea made the hosts their very own sex club masks.

This is the fifth episode of Season 8, and it covers chapter 4 of "He Who Must Not Be Disobeyed", which was co-written by two Potterotics, BrandonStrayne and Keep\_Calm\_And\_Expecto\_Patronum.

## Episode Summary

It's a dungeon date! Basement BDSM, ahoy! After making an unbreakable vow of chastity that they would keep each other's identities a secret, Albus and his master get down to business, or should we say bizASS. Ropes, whips, dildos...make like Albus and buckle up, cuz this gets GOOD.

## Notable Moments

* Back by popular demand, Lyndsay writes funny intro names for Danny. This time he is Channing Scrotum.
* Lyndsay calls for research on whether Potterotica makes plants grow faster
* Danny pronounces "whipping" like Stewie Griffin
* Gasping Lyndsay
* Allie reads playground instead of playroom and the hosts joke that Gellert has slides, swings, etc.
* Danny wonders if there's a horse rug in the room.
* "MAITRE! DID YA PUT YA HANDS DOWN MA PANTS?" ~ Danny
* Allie decides to call her body hair "horse carpet"
* Allie pronounces calves with a spoken L and Danny and Lyndsay lose it.
* "Face down, ass up, that's the way I like to playroom." ~ Lyndsay
* Allie jokes that it's a shame that Albus never got to know Filch better (in reference to the Quickie 14, where Filch was into BDSM too)
* Danny compares the slow penetration to the slow reveal of the staircase to the headmaster's office. Allie points out that's where Danny's story that she wrote takes place.
	+ "On the staircase into Albus' butthole" ~ Danny
	+ "I left that detail out" ~ Allie
* The hosts joke that Danny would be constantly punished because he wouldn't stop talking.

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Yellow (Hoftie)

* Overwhelmed. Knows Albus is here for it, but it makes her anxious that he's restrained.

Danny: Yellow (Hoftie)

* Green for Albus, but agrees with Allie that it makes him nervous.

Lyndsay: Green (Up)

* No reasons given.

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* "Snape of You" cover by Jessica is played at the end of the episode.
* Uncle A and Anna's got a renewed acknowledgement for their past song contributions and how talented they are.
* Rob & Teage got a call out from Lyndsay for listening to the podcast while tending their crops.
* Joe, AKA callmesir\_professor, gets a call-out from Danny for the story they wrote for this season.
Professor McGotItGoinOn

A joke made in Season 1, Episode 3 in which Danny tells how he wore a shirt saying "Professor McGonagall? More like Professor McGotItGoinOn" to the last book release. This is now available on a tote bag from their store.

## Mentioned in

* S01E03 - Worthy of Worship
* S01E06 - Worship Takes Time (Danny credited for idea for merch. Lyndsay and Allie admit to stealing it from him. They show no remorse.)
* S01E07 - 45 Minutes of Kissing
S02E11 - He Who Must Not Be That Into You

## He Who Must Not Be That Into You

The dirty version of turducken

The hosts start out the episode by singing a new song which they coin "Saved by Katie Bell" (a remix of the Saved By the Bell theme song). Lyndsay was not on board with this plan at first, but got on board when she realized the lyrics were going to be garbage if she wasn't involved.

They then discuss some of the international news stories that have come out about the podcast.

This episode picks up with the story near the end of chapter 4 and continues on to chapter 6.

## Episode Summary

Draco and Hermione finish up on the Ravenclaw dining table and then schedule a meet-up in the Room of Requirement. Pansy is given her walking papers by Draco and vows to find someone worthy of herself.

## Notable Moments

* "Laughing about horny wizards is a universal truth. Like love and kindness." ~ Allie
* Blowy on the Go-ey (blowjob on the moving staircases) ~ Lyndsay
* Slughorn as staircase joke
* References to Dick-tionary and Hologramma
* (L:) Pansy'd better... (D:) Speaking of loose ends, right? (L:) RUDE!
* Lyndsay paints a disturbing mental image of Polyjuice potion wearing off while you're penetrating someone.
* Reference to 18-23 year old boners joke from season 1
* Hosts calculate the velocity and force of the sex.
* Lyndsay tries to pin down the sex logistics with Allie and Danny's help.
* Which is worse as a euphemism for the vagina? Crevice or "Velvet Sleeve"?
* New Dick-tionary word: Badussy
* Everybody's trailing Draco, odd that he wouldn't notice all these people following him around.
* Allie and Lyndsay are not a fan of "milky" as a description for skin.
* Lyndsay seduction tip: If you're doing a striptease and the person in front of you is doing a blank stare, pull your pants up and run.
* Magical whale tail is called a "mermaid tale" and low rise jeans are called "Grindylowrisers"
* Danny coins the title of the episode.
* (A:) That must have been why Draco was in there. Just masturbating and waiting for her. (A+L:) Awwww
* Lyndsay confuses spell *Muffliato* as being about oral sex.
* Ron "the back-up plan" Weasley

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Down

* Senses doom on the horizon
* Liked that he didn't hide his knowledge of the Room of Requirement
* Liked the table sex

Danny: Up

* Geyser moment on the Ravenclaw table resulting in levitation
* Stood his grounds with Pansy

Lyndsay: Up

* No reasons given.

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* Voicemail from Stephanie is played. She explains who Roger Davies is.
S02E05 - The Vibrating Broomstick

## The Vibrating Broomstick

I will show you my cock,shining, shimmering, splendid!

This episode picks up midway through chapter 5 of the story, but does not make it all the way through the chapter

## Episode Summary

Draco takes Pansy for granted and then takes Hermione on a magical vibrating broom ride to get her all revved up.

## Notable Moments

* Draco's long cock rolled out of his pants like a red carpet or like a fruit roll-up.
* Pansy gives Draco an electromagnetic style hand job with very complicated hand movements.
* Lyndsay teaches her dad what "woke" means
* Pansy possibly got around the need to breathe by taking Gillyweed? Since her mouth is VERY full.
* "Gills just want to have fun" ~ Lyndsay
* "Once you pop, the fun don't stop!" ~ Allie, inventing her own product slogans.
* Lyndsay opines that it would be more respectful to make some encouraging noises. Allie and Danny show their respect by staying mum.
* Pansy's "entirely too large" verginer.
	+ "It's like throwing a hot dog into the Great Hall." ~ Danny
* Draco's cock keeps growing and shrinking as the story progresses...
* Hosts try to process the reference to fisting. Then "line after line of his cum". This chapter is definitely the most visually graphic.
* Danny compares Draco's penis to an Occamy; it expands or recedes to fill whatever space is available.
* Chang Bang
* Undapants reference
* Broomsticks should perhaps be avoided as dildos...terrible place for splinters.
* Ron Bashing - there's nothing wrong with red pubic hair!
* Is Harry's pubic hair also a lightning bolt? "Does the carpet match the forehead?" ~ Danny
* Allie theorizes that Hermione is once again a squirter.
* The hosts again wonder how often Draco and Hermione are having sex. Confusion likely attributable to them accidentally reading the chapters out of order.
* Hermione has a Pavlovian verginer response.
* "Magic Carpet is what you'd call Harry's Lightning bolt pubes." ~ Lyndsay
* Biggest fear pop quick: Sharks (Lyndsay), Alligators (Allie), Snakes (Danny). None of them would face those fears to have sex with someone. Even if it's been years.
* Allie's dream: A vibrating broom orgasm in the air, but would not risk a vibrating alligator.
* Potential new slogan for the podcast: "Once you pod, the fun don't stop."

## Wands Up or Down

NOTE: Hosts did not sing the Wands Up or Down song.

Allie: Up (overall)

* Down for the Draco and Pansy scene
* Wands up for Hermione and Draco

Lyndsay: Up (mostly)

* Up for Hermione exploring her sexual wants and desires and other people's perspectives
* Down for Draco machine gun spraying Pansy's face

Danny: Up

* Pansy and Draco is "on brand". Fisting is a "large hole" for him
Q01 - Luke the Magician

This is the first "quickie" which is a shorter fanfiction work that is read between regular full length seasons. This quickie is called "Luke the Magician" and it is written by FatesFire. The fic only has two chapters, but the hosts split it into 3 episodes, where chapter 1 is split between episodes 1 and 2 and chapter 2 is covered in episode 3, all of which were streamed live on The Potterotica Podcast Facebook page.

The first episode of this quickie also marks the first episode where Danny becomes a "series regular" (i.e. permanent co-host) of the podcast.

## Summary

Hermione is out for girl’s night when she comes across a major surprise at a muggle strip club.

While Draco’s inheritance is under investigation by the ministry he comes up with an interesting way to make some extra money in the muggle world.

## Episodes

* Q01E01 - Girls Night!
* Q01E02 - A Lap Dance for Hermione
* Q01E03 - Draco's Sex Playlist

## Other Characters that Appear

* Ginny Weasley
* Angelina Johnson
* Luna Lovegood

## Notable Jokes, Gags and References from Quickie 1

* Magical Strip Club names (The Magic Snatch, The Naughty Broomstick, The Sorceror's Striptease, Azkabuns, Chamber of Secrets, Whipping Wizards, Honey Dicks and Butter Boobs)
* GIRLS NIGHT!!!!
* Lyndsay pinpointing the choreography of Draco's striptease/lap dance
* Gasping Lyndsay
* Ron Bashing
* Lyndsay writes intros in which Danny introduces himself in funny ways.
S07E08 - Hokey Poke Me

## Hokey Poke Me

Harry and Neville after too much stamina potion

This episode completes "Various Climaxes" and then also starts and completes the final story in the series, "Welcome to the Family".

## Episode Summary

We jump right in with Neville plunging right in to Harry, and thanks to the stamina potion they took, the pleasure train just keeps leaving the station. Ginny's pregnancy is the least surprising news that Ron has to try to deal with.

## Notable Moments

* Danny apologizes for the snafu of accidentally skipping chapters.
* Allie has this story to thank for learning what it means for a woman to "top".
* Danny's never met a candy he didn't like.
* Danny informs of the concept of a "mushroom stamp", where you slap your dick against someone's cheek and it looks like a mushroom.
	+ "Allie's never heard of topping, but mushroom stamp she's like, 'of course!'" ~ Lyndsay
* Lyndsay's words of wisdom: shower sex is a great way to do both poorly; you don't get clean and you don't have good sex.
* Allie gestures that they're dropping the soap in the shower.
* Lyndsay jokes that Neville thinks he's sensitive because he owns a succulent.
* Lyndsay wonders whether Ron is wearing underwear.
* "This is a lot to unpack in one conversation." ~ Allie
* #NotARondemption
* Harry falls down a well (i.e. orgasms).

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Had a down moment with Ron, but overall up.

Danny: Up

* Loved the orgy scene that was actually just 2 people.
* Wants to see more Ron and Hermione interactions.

Lyndsay: Up

* Wants to see more Ron as well

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* Stephanie is organizing a Washington Potterotics Meet-up
* Paige's cover of John Mayer's "New Light" is played at the end of the episode.
* Lesley's Plughorn inspired cover of Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn" is also played at the end of the episode.
Season 3

Season 3 features the first Drarry pairing read on the podcast and the fic is entitled "The Critiquer", by Dysonrules.

## Summary

When Harry submits his cock photo to a renowned Cock Critiquer and gets a terrible review, he decides to take a photography class to hopefully improve his skills.

## Episodes

* S03E01 - D!ck GIF
* S03E02 - Ass-thetics 101
* S03E03 - "Suck It, Malfoy"
* S03E04 - The C#ck in Question
* S03E05 - Overstarved Libido
* S03E06 - Floo-ty Call
* S03E07 - The Boy Who Licked
* S03E08 - Exclusive Daily F#ck Buddy
* S03: Meet the Author - Cheryl Dyson

## Other Characters that Appear

* Mindy (Original Female character)
* Pansy Parkinson
* Seamus Finnegan
* Dean Thomas
* Henrietta VanZanden (original female character)
* Orson Rhonestaadt (original male character)
* Sarah (the American, original female character)
* Jason Newberry (original male character)

## Notable Jokes, Gags, and References

* The Great Sp(l)ooge debate of 2017 (Episode 1)
* Fancy Dansy voice (and also just regular Dansy voice) (Episode 1, 2, 4, 6, 8)
* Dense Harry (Episode 1, 3, 6, 8)
* The -Ughorns (Episode 1, 2, 4, 7, 8)
* EX HEX! (Episode 1)
* Allie and Her mom add to the list of Proposed Magical Spells or Objects (Episode 1, 3) and Lyndsay proposes Floo roulette, a wizarding dating "app"
* Allie pronouncing cock "cack" (Episode 2)
* Gasping Lyndsay (Episode 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8)
* Amber, the drunkest Potterotic (Episode 2, 3)
* "IT'S BEN" - Lyndsay's mispronunciation of the first lyrics of BNL's "One Week" (Episodes 3, 4, 5)
* Dumbledore's brother, Dumbledong, which Allie jokes she will add to her Tramp Stamp Stack (Episode 3)
* Draco's sartorial choices (i.e. all white suits) (Episode 3)
* A-WOOOOOOOOGA
* Nobody remembers Jason (Episode 4, 5, 6)
* Burner Owls (Episodes 4, 5)
* Magical Jizz Rag (Episode 5)
* Hey. Hey. Hey. U up? \*DICK PIC\* (Episode 6)
* Lyndsay's Sex Logistics (Episode 7)
* Use of a variety of accents in the bedroom (Episode 7)
* Thanksgiving dinner flavoured lube and jizz (Episode 8)
* Musical Parodies / Potterotica Playlist
	+ Episode 3 - "One Week" by BNL
	+ Episode 4 - "I'll Make Love to You" by Boyz II Men
	+ Episode 5 - "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette and "Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguilera
	+ Episode 6 - "The Sign" by Ace of Base
	+ Episode 7 - "...Baby One More Time" by Britney Spears
	+ Episode 8 - "No Diggity" by Blackstreet
Theresa Foree

Not only is Theresa a common face on the FB message board, she is also of a fic written especially for the podcast and that was performed in the Two Happy Endings Special episode.

## Shout Outs!

* Two Happy Endings: Her story, "Be My Warmth" was read in this special episode.
* Q05 - Give a Dog a Boner - The hosts mention the Hurricane Harvey episode.
Proposed Magical Spells or Objects

Being set in a world that involves magic, there has been a number of proposed magical spells to aid in horizontal activities. This is a list of those specifically brainstormed/mentioned by either The Golden Threesome on the podcast, or on the Potterotics message board.

## Spells

* *Juicius Limitless ~ Danny*, (Squirts So Good)
* *Lubos* ~ Lyndsay, (Squirts So Good)
* *Spermicidis Incorpus* ~ Danny (Pansy Raid)
* *Sexpelliarmus* - Used to quickly strip people of clothing. ~ Danny's idea and Lyndsay's word (Sexpellarmus)
* *Barus Pubus -* A spell to get rid of unwanted body hair (Sexpellarmus)
* *Drinkus Shrinkus -* Shrinks your flask for easy transport*.* (New Owl, who Dis?)
* *Prolongus Ejaculus* - makes you able to hold out for longer before coming. (Prolongus Erectus)
* *Prolongus Erectus* - makes you come for longer. (Prolongus Erectus)
* Allie and her mother brainstorming: Category 3: Sex Spells (D!ck GIF)
	+ The Lubeus Labius, Deepius Throatius, Protego Buttholeus, Extendo Genitalo, Engorgus Wangus, Alohomora chastity belt, Boobius Maximus, Levi-o-o-o-sa
* *Spoogify (or Sploogify) ~* Potterotic Teresa A-S (some debate as to effect. Initally proposed as a cleaning charm, it was argued by Chelsea that given the latin roots of the word, it would really cause an excess of splooge.)
* *Astro Lubricus* - Produces lube that smells and tastes like your favourite things (e.g. Thanksgiving dinner) (Exclusive Daily F#ck Buddy (EDFB))
* *Jizzus Infusionus* - Makes your jizz smell and taste like your favourite things (e.g. Thanksgiving dinner) (Exclusive Daily F#ck Buddy (EDFB))

## Objects

* Magical romance ideas (May the Best Man Win):
	+ Flowers that grow as she looks at them
	+ Flower bud pays her a compliment as it opens
	+ Flower smells like something she loves, like fresh parchment.
	+ Chocolates that taste like whatever she desires at the time (like dongs)
* Moving tattoos (Prolongus Ejaculus!)
* Allie and her mother brainstorming: Category 2: Sex Toys (D!ck GIF)
	+ Wonder Wand, Magical Mammory Motorboat, Crotchless Dressrobes, Swish and Lick Sex Syrups (including chocolate frog flavour), Strap-o Enchanto, Black Cat-o-Nine-Tails (Allie did not know that reference and had to Google it. This activity is forcing Allie to learn interesting things about her mother), Hungarian Hornytail Butt Plug, Marvolo Gaunt Cock Ring, Slippery Slytherin Lube (in 6 oz or 12 oz)
* Fly-Pod - Magical equivalent of a tripod, but no need to find an even surface to set it on ("Suck It, Malfoy")
* Spanky Hanky - magical jizz rag that changes colour when its been "used" (Overstarved Libido)
* Floo Roulette - Wizarding world dating "app" (Floo-ty Call)
Season 8

Season 8 features the story "He Who Must Not Be Disobeyed", which was co-written by two Potterotics: BrandonStrayne and Keep\_Calm\_And\_Expecto\_Patronum. The story was written specifically for the podcast as part of a writing call to arms put out by the hosts, who wanted to do an Albus/Gellert story to commemorate the upcoming second movie in the Fantastic Beasts franchise and the fact that it was announced that there would not be any overt Albert/Gellert in the movie.

## Summary

When a young and curious Albus Dumbledore attends a London sex club for the first time, he doesn’t know what to expect. His close friend, Bathilda Bagshot, assures him that there is something for everyone at the club. Despite his initial trepidations, Albus may have found just what he has always been looking for in the form of the enigmatic and alluring dom that everyone calls Maître de la Petite Mort…

## Episodes

* S08E01 - Fantastic Kinks and Where to Find Them
* S08E02 - Blackdoor Action
* S08E03 - 'In the Mood' Ring
* S08E04 - Maître of D
* S08E05 - Don't Mind if I Dil-do!
* S08E06 - Hung Like a...
* S08E07 - Chasti-tease Belt
* S08E08 - Dumble Date

### Supplemental Episodes

* Patreon S8B1 - Bathilda Moneyshot
* Patreon S8B2 - The Hog's Rimjob

## Relationships

* Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald
* Bathilda Bagshot/Hesper Gamp Black/Sirius Black II (Patreon bonus episode 1)

## Other Characters that Appear

* Bathilda Bagshot
* Capra Prewett (Original Male Character)

## Notable Jokes, Gags, and References

* Musical Parodies
	+ "Summer Nights" (Episode 1)
	+ "Toxic" cover by Uncle Aragog (Episode 2)
	+ "Climb Every Mountain" (Episode 3)
	+ "Why Don't You Do Right" cover sung by Potterotic Ally (Episode 3)
	+ "Snape of You" cover sung by Potterotic Jessica (Episode 5)
* Gasping Lyndsay (Episode 1, 2, B1, 5)
* CUH-CUH-CONSENT Mood Rings (Episodes 1, 2, 3)
* Danny's sex club name is "Giggles" (Episodes 2, 3, 4, B1)
* The -Ughorns (Episode 2)
* Prefect's Bathroom (Episode 2)
* The Deathly Swallows (Episode 2, 3)
* Danny teaches Allie and Lyndsay about "watersports" (Episode 3, 4, B1)
* "LUXURY!" (Episode 4)
* A new Bobsled configuration (B1)
* Danny is given new intro names to read (Episodes 5, 6, 7, 8)
* Sex Logistics (Episode 6, 7)
* Horse jokes (Episode 7)
* Wands Up or Down was replaced with Red, Green, or Blue ratings to coincide with the magical consent rings in the story.
Prefect's Bathroom

A recurring theme in Season 1 was the hosts being perplexed by the characteristics of the Prefect's Bathroom. Discussions included the abundance of spigots, whether it was a pool or just a very large tub and the subsequent discussions of how hygienic that would be since you could be bathing in other people's urine.

## Referenced in

* S01E01 - His Huge...Honker: An abundance of spigots may be what starts the whole tub vs. pool confusion.
* S01E03 - Worthy of Worship: Current consensus is that it is a pool. Instigates discussion around what form "pee tracing" spells and/or urine cleansing spells would take. Hosts discuss their own pee/pool related stories and we learn Allie was a "rebel" in that regard
* S01E04 - An Open Relationship: Confirmed that it is a bathtub and not a pool, so Danny's concerns about urine are alleviated.
* S01E04 - An Open Relationship: With confirmation of bathub comes new concerns about water usage.
* S01E07 - 45 Minutes of Kissing: Hosts finally remember the scene with the golden egg in the Goblet of Fire. Also there seems to be a wealth of towels (enough to make a mattress) but an almost complete lack of washcloths (Hermione and Snape had to share).
* S01E08 - Squirts So Good: The mystery continues. Lyndsay wonders whether there are toilets in the Prefect's bathroom. Allie's love of spigots continues.
* S02E03 - A Field of Naked Malfoys: Hermione is directed to her favourite bathroom, but this time to meet Draco.
	+ "That place must freaking glow in the dark" ~ Danny

* S02E04 - Pansy Raid: A new feature of the bathroom is revealed, heated marble floors.
* S08E02 - Blackdoor Action
Wango

Wango is a bingo variant that was implemented by the hosts for Season 5. Danny posted a graphic of the card (pictured to the left) on the Potterotics Facebook group, complete with Quidditch ring designs integrating the masculine and feminine symbols. Each Potterotic can fill in their own card with whatever they think will make an appearance during season 5 (e.g. Dumb Harry, a threesome, etc.) and can then mark them off as they occur. Potterotics were encouraged to post their WANGO!s to the Potterotics Facebook group and the prize will be to get a shoutout on the podcast.

A Powerpoint of the card can be found here for download and can be filled out digitally, or printed out and filled in by hand.

NOTE: They said that the card was available on their "freebies page" (suggesting their Free Sh!t section of their website), but it is not yet there.

Wango song sung in Episode 2 of Season 5:

*Horny podcast had a game*

*and WANGO was its name, oh*

*W - A - N - G - O*

*Put a finger in the hole*

*Where's the tongue?*

*No one knows!*

*And WANGO is the game, oh*
CUH-CUH-CUH-CONSENT

In Season 7, Episode 1, the hosts were discussing the issue of consent and Lyndsay said the word using a shock jock style radio voice. She commented that she had perhaps missed her calling as she sounded very convincing. Since then, it has been mentioned on multiple episodes and is often referenced by Potterotics.

## Referenced in

* Q07E01 - Sugar and Spice and Everything Naughty - Origin
* Q09 - Wolfstar of David
* S05E01 - A Hellova Hangover
* Q11 - Brotherly Lovehorn
* S05E05 - Fingerblast from the Past
* Q14 - Professor Cumbridge
* Season 8 - Story includes magical mood rings that depict whether a person is consenting to a BDSM activity or not.
S07E04 - Neville Schlongbottom

## Neville Schlongbottom

Episode artwork by Potterotic Noora

This episode continues "Things to Do in Berlin (When You're Bored)" and then covers "Normal Things" and the beginning of "The Girl Who Topped".

## Episode Summary

Neville and Harry explore each other's cocks and then have the relationship talk.

## Notable Moments

* Danny recounts a Cheetos dream that he had about Allie being super organized.
* "Do they get blue jean blue-balled, or just balled?" ~ Danny
* Allie is trying to woo Ugg as sponsors by slipping in some hard G's on "ugh"s
* Jellylegs jinx caused by a blow job = Blow legs
* Groingotts: A spank bank
* "Harry's cock is like your Doritos." ~ Allie
	+ "Thanks for putting it in that terms." ~ Lyndsay
* "WHHEEEEEEE!" ~ Harry orgasming, according to Lyndsay and Allie.
* The Golden Threesome imagine Harry composing a formal email to "Dearest Ginerva" about how he pulsed into Neville's flesh.
* Harry furnishes his apartments with Plughorns.
* Danny references his joke from episode 3 about Luna being like Spongebob Squarepants licking an ice cream cone.
* Danny loves Harry's identity crisis ("Is it Voldemort that would love green leather shoes, or me??")
* "Charles Dick. A Tale of Two Titties! ... Anyone?" ~ Lyndsay
	+ "Oliver Tits!" ~ Allie & Lyndsay
* "That was misleading." ~ Lyndsay, at Ginny being sweaty...but not from sex.
* Danny hopes that Eros has discreet wrapping, unlike the delivered brooms
* Hosts hypothesize that Neville may be feeling a little self-conscious and is sending in dick pics to the cock critiquer.

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Excited by the sexy times.

Danny: Up

* Likes that everyone seems emotionally safe with the casual sex.

Lyndsay: Up

* Curious to see how Luna and Ginny shake out.

## Potterotics Shout Outs

* Katie's song is played at the end of the episode, a cover of "Someone to Lava"
Snape's Sparse Coarse Black Hair

A reference to the first episode of Season 1 on the Potterotica Podcast. While the actual text only talks about sparse black hair on Snape's legs:

*"She could see his legs. They were slender, pale and sparsely covered with black hair."¹*
A description ruled decidedly un-sexy by the hosts and therefore relentlessly referenced time and time again, during the duration of the podcast. The word "coarse" somehow also got mixed into the joke, most likely a mis-remembrance by one of the hosts, but now it is what is most often remembered/mentioned, rather than the sparsity of the hair.

Snape's body hair in this joke stands in direct contradiction to his pubic hair which is later referred to as a "nest of silken black hair".

## Mentioned in

* S01E01 - His Huge...Honker (origin)
* S01E02 - It's a Bathe Off
* S01E03 - Worthy of Worship
* S01E04 - An Open Relationship
* S02E01 - Love Potion No. 9 3/4