Operation Breakup Part Two

Mallory tries to breakup with Jason again.

## Transcript

Matt: Are you sure about this? The last time you tried to break up with Jason his mom broke my ribs with her purse.
Mallory: Look, don't worry. I don't care how guilty he makes me feel, it ends today.
Matt: Okay. Earpieces in?
Mallory: Yes.
Matt: Gloves on. Prayers offered.

Jason: Oh hey, Mal.
Mallory: Hey Jason, I need to talk to you.
Jason: Yes, I wanted to talk to you too.
Matt: Oh quick, do it now before he says more words.
Mallory: Well it's-
Jason: I'm not sure that this is working out.
Matt: Never mind, let the boy speak.
Jason: You know, I've been thinking about it for a while now...
Matt: Wait for it...
Jason: And I think we should break up.
Matt: Haha! Success! I'll break out the sparkling cider! How do people do this?

Jason: How do you feel about things?
Matt: Ah, it's so flowy- I think I've gone blind butterfly.
Mallory: Okay, so you want to break up?
Matt: Is cider bad for plants? I would feel terrible if this shrub died.
Mallory: Why?
Matt: Uh, because I have a heart- wait, are you asking him why he wants to break up? I advise against this action!
Jason: You know, I just don't feel the same way I used to about things.
Matt: Good. Say 'okay', wipe away a fake tear, and walk away.
Mallory: Was it something I did?
Matt: What are you doing? No, this is what you wanted and you don't even have to feel guilty about it. It's like eating non-fat yogurt.
Mallory: I'm just curious.
Matt: Curiosity killed the cat's opportunity to get out of this relationship!
Jason: No, I just feel like we should see other people.
Mallory: Oh, is there someone specifically who you want to see?
Matt: Who cares? You don't want to date him!
Mallory: Yes, but I don't want anyone else to date him either.
Matt: I don't understand. Are we here to break his knees or something?
Jason: No, I mean there was this one girl who expressed a little interest, but I'm not really looking to date someone right now.
Matt: No, do not ask who.
Mallory: Who?
Matt: I hate you.
Jason: Kelly.
Mallory: Kelly... Peterson?
Matt: Kelly Peterson? He can get Kelly Peterson? Dang boy! Tell him congratulations.
Jason: Yeah, I think so. Do you know her?
Matt: If you do know her, will you set me up? 'Cause that girl is fine!

Matt: I want to talk about cheese.

Mallory: I don't want to break up.
Matt: How are those words escaping your mouth hole?
Jason: Uh, I don't know, Mal.
Stacey: Good Jason, good. Now slowly reel her back in.
Matt: It's a trap!
Mallory: Go away Matt!

Matt: No, no, Butterfly, come in, you're being played!
Stacey: Good, now tell her that you're not sure this is a good idea. That will drive her crazy. After that, tell her that your mom has forbid you two from dating. People cannot resist what they're told they can't have!

Matt: Uh, hey Jason. This is your black friend hiding in the bushes. Listen, I think we need to take a different approach; tell her that you want to stay together.
Jason: You know, now that we've talked about it, I think we should stay together.
Mallory: Oh, good!
Matt: Tell her you love her.
Jason: I love you.
Mallory: Good.
Matt: Like a lot.
Jason: Are you sure?
Matt: Oh, yeah.
Jason: Like, a lot.
Mallory: Okay?
Jason: Man, I think I'm losing her.
Matt: Talk about your future together.
Jason: And who knows what the future may hold...
Mallory: Future is a strong word, Jason.
Jason: Is it?
Matt: How many kids?
Jason: How many kids... do you want to have with me?
Matt: Marriage!
Jason: Marriage!
Mallory: What?
Matt: Lean in for a kiss! No, karate chop! Yes, no, more of that. Chop chop chop.

Mallory: Jason, I think we should break up! You're weird!
Jason: Come on, Mal!
Matt: She reminds you of your mom!
Jason: You remind me of my mom... what?
Matt: Now nod, knowingly.
Mallory: Ugh. Okay, bye Jason!
Jason: No!
Matt: Ha ha, that is what you get, for trying to manipulate.

Whitney: Jason, honey, have you seen my car keys- you!
Matt: No!

## Trivia

* This is the last sketch of Season 5 Episode 8.
* This is the longest sketch of Season 5 Episode 8.
* This sketch was uploaded on the day after the episode aired on BYUtv.
* This sketch has a prequel, which can be found here, and appeared in Season 2 Episode 1.