Danny Meltzer

Our wonderful teacher. Known for his critically acclaimed baseball skills and for going to Harvard, Daniel Charizard Meltzer is also widely praised for his acting credits in the movie *Inside Out* . {{Infobox\_character|name = Danny Meltzer|aliases = Daniel Meltzer, Mr. Burton, Mr. Meltzer, Meltzy, Yeltz Meltz, Yeltz, Yeltzy, Meltzo, pMeltzer, Steve Jobs, seltzer, cheese meltzer,

## Background

Daniel Meltzer was born around 1989, probably. His father is suspected to be psychologist Michael Leippe.

## Baseball Career

Danny Max Brow Meltzer joined the team in 2013 just before he graduated Harvard and moved to Israel.  Though he was with the team for just 2 months, he made an instant impact on our hitting. He taught us a new way to explain how to keep players weight behind the ball, something that has really resonated.  Meltzer is an accomplished baseball player and coach. He also spent two summers in Vietnam

## Quotes

* //walks into the classroom, late// "Alright, munchkins!"
* "WRITE, MY CHILDREN!" (accompanied by evil rising hand and wriggling finger gestures)
* "Find your inner Buddha."
* "...which is why animals are animals, and we are the best."
* "I studied your palms while you were writing."
* "Love... is like a sweet summer breeze."
* "New rule - whenever someone says love, you have to pirouette." //does a pirouette//
* "Why does this happen. Nothing makes sense anymore."
* "I don't know exactly how a peacock works."
* dolphin noise\*
* "Behaviorist octopus with tentacles"
* "THROW IT IN B.F. SKINNER'S FACE AND SAY 'HA! OBJECTIVELY MEASURE COGNITION!'"
* "Yes. I have that virus. Stay away."
* //breaks wheel on chair// //raises chair above head//
* "You are my subjects. And I am the evil scientist."
* "Interestingly, this did not work at all today, so I'm going to have to rethink my occupation."
* //slaps face and makes potentially obscene hand gestures// "Unique New York. Unique New York."
* //Aidan leaves the room// //breathes sigh of relief//
* "Shushooed"
* "That's how I'll grade all your SAQs from now on. By how far they fly."
* Aidan: "Mr. Meltzer, have you been drinking?" Yeltz: "I've been drinking the passion of psychology."
* "My students like me." //rips off post-it note// "They like me not." //rips off another post-it//
* "Think. //pokes Aidan's head// use that good noggin."
* Meltzer: "wooo." Stephanie: "woo." Chauncey: "woo." Meltzer: "woo." Aidan: "woo." Meltzer: "woo."
* "IT'S AWESOME!" //flails flamboyantly//
* "Too bad it wasn't my exam. My exam is rainbows. and kittens!!!"

## Reviews

6/10 - "Though just with us for half a season, Meltzer left his mark on Renegade hitters and coaches!" - Boston Renegades Baseball Team

10/10 - "This one time he showed up in TOK and surprised Chauncey and then Chauncey laughed really really hard and just laid on the floor for like six minutes convulsing." - Aidan Murphy

## Charisma

Because of Meltzer's natural beauty and engaging face, Aidan Murphy, our local photoshop guru, has created a series of Meltzerpieces.

## Middle Name

Mr. Meltzer has a middle name. It is Curtis. It is not:

* Charles
* Christopher
* Cal
* Chase
* Cyrus
* California
* Charlotte
* Cayenne
* Crimson
* Carboniferous
* Catmagic
* Candy-ower
* Cpsychology
* Charleston
* Crumblestiltskin
* Cock-a-doodle-doo
* Chrysanthemum
* Chair
* Crouton
* Cjason
* Chrason
* Carbon Footprint
* Cribbage
* Carrotfarmer
* Cumberbatch
* Crusty
* Coolio
* Cream cheese
* Connie
* Century
* Bubonic plague
* Cataracts
* Lila

## References

1. ↑ Retired Renegades players and coaches