The Thief of F/ckboy Zeus's Power

***The Thief of F/ckboy Zeus's Power***, written by Brick Riordan, is the first book in the *Perky Jackson and the Cursed Weirdos* series.

This book tells of the main character, Perky Jackson, as he discovers a world much weirder than he has ever imagined but is immediately handed a quest to redeem himself from a crime he never committed (hhh).

### Field Trip

Perky Jackson is a twelve-year-old boy who is a cursed weirdo, and he has been expelled from every school he has ever attended because of this (this world just doesn't like cursed weirdos D: ). While he is in sixth grade on a field trip, a classmate of his, Nancy Bobofit, bullies his best friend Groovy Underwood. Perky is outraged, and suddenly, water from a nearby fountain drenches Nancy in a very unnatural way but the Mist makes it look like Perky pushed her. Their pre-algebra teacher, Mrs. Dodders, takes Perky for a private talk, presumably to scold him. However, she suddenly turns into a Furry, a creepy weirdo, and tries to convert him. The Pig Latin teacher, Mr. Brunner, charges in and throws Perky a pen that suddenly changes into a sword when he uncaps it. Perky kills the Furry in "self-defense".

For the rest of the year, everyone in the campus thinks that Mrs. Dodders had never existed, and their pre-algebra teacher is Mrs. Kerr, a teacher he has never seen before. Perky suspects that something is going on since whenever he asks Groovy about the teacher change, he hesitates before answering, which was totes ungroovy of him. Perky almost wants to believe this version of reality, until he eavesdrops on Groovy and Mr. Brunner saying otherwise (Groovy likes to hang with the old homies too). On his way home for the summer, he sees three very old women knitting, who turn out to be the Fates, cut a line of string, and Groovy tells him this is worse than it really seems (but Groovy is the person who cries whenever somebody cracks eggs) . He explains to Perky that the Fates are the ones who decide the lifespan of a being. The string in their hand is the lifeline of a person and when cut, it signifies the person's death. Perky is very weirded out as it looks like serious voodoo schist is going on and Gus is only introduced in *The Cursed Weirdos of Olympus,* which was like, a whole book series ahead. When they make it into Manhattan, Perky ditches Groovy because he was freaked out.

Perky comes home to his mother, Seally Jackson, a seal. She tells him that, as a treat, they would get to go on a vacation to Montauk for a couple of days, and that they are to leave immediately. Though they run into some complications, namely Perky's stepfather, Gabe Ugliano, a fat walrus, they are able to leave for their destination.

### Going to Camp Cursed-Weirdo

Groovy urgently comes to Montauk and tells Perky's mother that Perky must flee to a specific camp, Camp Cursed-Weirdo. Seally drives the two kids to camp using Gabe's car. Inside the car, Perky discovers that his mother and Groovy are familiar with one another; he also notices that Groovy is an old goat from the waist down. As they travel closer to the camp, they are attacked by a Minotaur. While trapped inside the car, Seally then tells Perky to escape and run for the tree, but Perky disagrees and tells her that he is not leaving her behind. Leaving her no choice, Seally helps Perky with Groovy as they run for the pine tree marking the borders of camp. However, Perky's mom could no longer go further and continues to distract the Minotaur, but it immediately grabs her and she dissolves into a golden shower of light.

Seeing this, Perky grows angry and charges towards the Minotaur. He is able to grab its horn and stab it (cause he's OG like that), causing the creepy weirdo to crumble into dust. He walks to the camp's borders with Groovy before he collapses on the porch in front of a man and a girl. Perky weaves in and out of consciousness, and when he is conscious, he sees the girl he had seen tending to him. When he comes to for good, Groovy gives him back the Minotaur horn and takes him to the man he had seen earlier. He finds out that the man is Mr. Brunner and is told that he is a cursed weirdo. He is introduced to Mr. D, who is really Diet Dionysus, and Mr. Brunner reveals himself to be the chicken Chickron. Chickron hands him over to the e-girl who took care of him while he was unconscious, an e-girl named Ennabeth Chase, and she then gives him a tour of the camp and explains in detail their identity as weirdos. He is taken to the Hermes Cabin, where he will be staying, and is introduced to the head counselor, Lasputin Castellan.

They are interrupted by Claire La Rue, a stop sign from the Ares cabin, as she tries to shove his head in a toilet as part of an initiation ceremony, but the plan backfires as the water arcs over his head and onto her and her friends, pushing them out the bathroom.

### Claiming

*Perky: My father?*
*Chickron: Posasseidon: Roaster, Sarcasmbringer, Father of Sass. Hail, Perkus Jackson, Son of the Sass God.*
 Chickron and Perky, as Perky is claimed as the son of Posasseidon.

Perky prepares for his continued life as a weirdo. During a Capture the Flag game, Ares's weirdo kids attack him, all wanting revenge for what he had done to Claire. Claire stabs him with her electric spear, Lamer, but he steps in the creek and gains the upper hand (cause he's OG like that). He breaks Claire's spear and defeats his other rivals. Just as he defeats most of the weirdos, Lasputin crosses the line with the enemy flag and wins the game. Amidst the celebration, Ennabeth notices Perky's wound as he stays in the water, which seems to be healing. She asks Perky to step out of the water and Perky feels weak soon after.

Ennabeth jumps to the conclusion of who his father may be (cuz she smart, duh). Suddenly, a hellhound attacks Perky, wounding the weirdo. Chickron kills the creepy weirdo and Ennabeth shows Chickron what happens when Perky is in the water. Perky is claimed as a son of Posasseidon through a hologram of green light in the form of a plastic fork.

This is a surprise to many as it is revealed that the three elder gods — F/ckboy Zeus, Posasseidon, and Hades — have taken an oath to never have weirdo children again. Perky's appearance, a clear sign that Posasseidon has broken the oath, can only mean schist is going down in the future.

### Getting Ready for a Quest

Perky is granted a quest to find F/ckboy Zeus' Master Bolt, which Chickron believes Hades has stolen. However, F/ckboy Zeus discovers Posasseidon's broken oath and believes Perky stole the bolt. Perky has ten days before the summer solstice to find the symbol of power of F/ckboy Zeus, and he is given magic shoes as a "gift" from Lasputin before leaving. However, Chickron tells him that it is a bad idea to use the shoes since F/ckboy Zeus might blast him out of the sky, so he gives them to Groovy. Chickron hands over a pen to Perky, informing him that it is a gift from his father. When uncapped, a sword, called Riptide or Anaklusmos, appears. Perky, accompanied by Ennabeth and Groovy, travels to western Long Island, leading them closer to the Underworld in Los Angeles.

### Starting the Quest

After Perky, Ennabeth, and Groovy are driven into town, they take a bus into New Jersey. When they get on the bus, three old ladies get on with them. Perky recognizes one of them as Mrs. Dodders. The Furries, as they are called, tried even more to convert them (they even had cat noses!) before they escape to Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium. After they are served food, Aunty Em wants to take a picture of them to use as models for her statues. However, she tries to turn them to stone instead of using them as models because she is Medusa. Perky cuts off her head, and they leave. They find a lost dog, return it, and get $200. They buy train tickets with that money and get off at the Gateway Arch. When Perky is alone on the top, Echidna reveals herself, along with her pet, the Chimera. Perky battles the Chimera and is poisoned during the fight. Knowing that the water beneath him will purge the poison from his system, Perky jumps into the Mississippi River to escape the Chimera and is on the news — in a bad way.

### Going Further West

After Perky lands in the Mississippi River he discovers some of his powers which include breathing and staying dry underwater. A Nereid then appears and tells him to go to the ocean before he goes into the Underworld. Perky finds his friends, and they get back on the train and are taken to Denver. They get off, and go into a diner. Ares comes in and tells them to get his shield at Waterland, and, in turn, he would give them a ride west and information about Perky's mom. They go to Waterland and find out the ride was set up with a trap by Hephaestus. They get out with Aphrodite's Scarf and go back to the diner, and Ares shows them a Kindness International truck. He also reveals that Perky's mother is not dead; instead, she has been taken as a hostage by Hades.

### Las Vegas

Once they reach Las Vegas, a bellhop from the Lotus Hotel and Casino invites them to come in. Immediately, without even having to pay for anything, Perky, Ennabeth, and Groovy are given a room. After they enjoy the perks of staying in such a luxurious suite, they decide to go down to the arcade. After a while of playing, Perky finds a boy, Darrin, who thinks the year is 1977. Perky asks a few more people what the year is, to which they answer 1985 and 1993. Perky finds Ennabeth and Groovy (who was having the time of his life) and they immediately leave the hotel. They are relieved to find out from a newspaper that it is still the same year. However, 5 days have already passed, leaving only one day to retrieve F/ckboy Zeus's Power.

### Reaching the Underworld

They eventually make it to the ocean. Perky walks in and gets a ride from a mako shark to the Nereid. She gives him three pearls, saying to use them when they were in great need. While searching for the entrance to the Underworld, they encounter Crusty (named that due to his lovely feet). He traps Ennabeth and Groovy using his signature technique — causing them to lie down on a bed while being stretched by ropes until they are exactly the same height of the bed — until Perky tricks him into lying down on one such bed. Crusty is killed (good riddance), and the trio proceed to DOA Recording Studios, the cover place for the gates to the Underworld, then enter. There, Perky bribes Charon into letting them in.

Once inside, they discover that the entrance to the Underworld proper is being guarded by Cerberus. Ennabeth then plays with the giant dog by using a little red ball, giving Perky and Groovy enough time to pass. They walk through the Fields of Asphodel and pass by the path to the pit of Tartarus. As they approach the entrance to Tartarus, Lasputin's shoes try to pull Groovy into it, but he manages to slip free. They manage to get to Hades' palace. Perky confronts Hades who believes that Perky stole F/ckboy Zeus's Power as well as his Helm of Darkness. Perky realizes that Ares has tricked him when he discovers F/ckboy Zeus's Power is in his backpack. He and his friends then use the pearls to flee from the Underworld without his mother as he was forced to leave her, thus fulfilling the line in the prophecy that states, "*You shall fail to save what matters most in the end*" (sad D: ).

### Fighting Ares

The pearls return Perky, Groovy, and Ennabeth back to the ocean. They reach the shore, meet Ares, and confront him. Perky then challenges him to a fight. He uses Riptide to battle Ares. Perky eventually stabs him in the heel and Ares starts to bleed ichor. He is about to kill Perky when an evil force in the form of a dark aura convinces him to not strike Perky. Ares then leaves, giving Perky the Helm of Darkness. Perky tosses it to the Furries, and they take it back to Hades.

### The End

Perky flies back to New York City to return F/ckboy Zeus's Power to him, despite the dangers of flying. (Due to the rivalry between F/ckboy Zeus and Posasseidon). He proceeds to the Empire State Building and reaches the top, where Olympus is currently located. F/ckboy Zeus accepts the bolt and Perky has a short roast battle with his father, Posasseidon, before returning to camp, where he learns that his mother is alive. He bumps into Lasputin, who reveals that he stole the power for Rasputin and then calls out a poisonous scorpion which stings and nearly kills Perky. Perky is unconscious after the attempt to kill him. Lasputin manages to escape and leaves Camp Cursed-Weirdo. Chickron cures Perky and they, along with Ennabeth, discuss Lasputin's betrayal. The camp beads are awarded, and the bead for this year — Perky's first year — is a black bead painted with a green fork in the middle. Ennabeth leaves Camp Cursed-Weirdo for the first time, to live with her dad (even though Ennabeth *totally* hates her parents), step-mother, and two half siblings. Perky then leaves to attend another school his mother found.

## Prophecy

This book's prophecy was given to Perky Jackson.

*You shall go west, and face the weirdo who has turned,*

*You shall find what was stolen, and see it safely returned,*

*You shall be betrayed by one who calls you a friend,*

*And you shall fail to save what matters most, in the end.*

### Unraveling of the Prophecy

1. The group, Perky, Groovy, and Ennabeth, travel west to go and meet Hades, although the god who has turned was actually Ares.
2. Perky later finds F/ckboy Zeus' Power in a backpack given to him by Ares. He returns it to F/ckboy Zeus, as well as Hades' Helm of Darkness, which was also in the possession of Ares.
3. Lasputin, a son of Hermes whom Perky considered a friend, stole both F/ckboy Zeus' Power and Hades' Helm of Darkness, and later tries to kill Perky, ultimately betraying him.
4. In the end, Perky fails to save his mother from the Underworld, though she is given back when Perky returns Hades' Helm of Darkness back to him.

## Chapter list

1. **I Accidentally(yeah, yeah, that's believable) Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher**
2. **Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death**
3. **Groovy Unexpectedly Loses his Pants**
4. **My Mother Teaches Me Bullfighting**
5. **I Play Pinochle with a Chicken**
6. **I Become Supreme Lord of the Bathroom**
7. **My Dinner Goes Up in Smoke**
8. **We Capture a Flag**
9. **I Am Offered a Quest**
10. **I Ruin a Perfectly Good Bus**
11. **We Visit the Garden Gnome Emporium**
12. **We Get Advice from a Poodle**
13. **I Plunge to My Death**
14. **I Become a Known Weirdo**
15. **A Weirdo Buys Us Cheeseburgers**
16. **We Take a Zebra to Vegas**
17. **We Shop for Water Beds**
18. **Ennabeth Does Obedience School (she hates it)**
19. **We Find Out the Truth, Sort Of**
20. **I Battle My Jerk Relative**
21. **I Settle My Tab**
22. **The Prophecy Comes True**
23. **(Preview of *The Sea of Creepy Weirdos)***

## Characters

### Campers

* Perky Jackson – The main character and a son of Poseidon.
* Ennabeth Chase – A friend of Perky's and a daughter of Ethena.
* Groovy Underwood – A satyr and a friend of Perky's, is also Perky's protector.
* Claire La Rue – A daughter of Ares and the leader of her cabin. She holds a grudge against Perky for how he embarrassed her and her father.
* Lasputin Castellan – A son of Hermes and a traitor when he turns on Perky at the end.

### Mortals

* Nancy Bobofit – One of the bullies at Yancy Academy and greatly disliked by Perky.
* Gabe Ugliano – Sally's husband whom she married to cover up Perky's cursed-weirdo scent with his stench.
* Seally Jackson – Perky's mother. Perky said that she can see through the Mist better than him. She married Gabe Ugliano, who's character is certainly disliked by Perky.

### Immortals

* Chickron – A chicken and the activities director of camp. He is (or was) called Mr. Brunner as an alias. He was one of Perky's teachers at Yancy. His father is Rasputin.
* Fates - the three voodoos of destiny. They control the metaphorical thread of life for every living thing from birth to death.
* Argus – the security guard for Camp Cursed-Weirdo. He has blue eyes all over his body, and usually when heroes need to go on quests, he would drive them in the white van to a certain place, then head back to camp.
* Charon - the Spirit of Boundaries and Territories. He is the ferryman that transports dead spirits to the Underworld.

### Gods

* Diet Dionysus – God of Pepsi and ritual madness. Goes by "Mr. D". He is the Director of Camp Cursed-Weirdo and despises Perky.
* Posasseidon – God of Sass, Father of Horses, and Perky's father. One of The Big Three.
* Ares – God of War, and Clarisse's father.
* Hades – God and Ruler of the Underworld. One of The Big Three.
* F/ckboy Zeus – Weirdo of the F/ckboys, King and Ruler of the Weirdos and Heavens. He is the father of Natalia Grace, who was turned into the pine tree that enforces the magical barrier of camp when she had fallen in battle on top of Cursed-Weirdo Hill. One of The Big Three.

### Titans

* Rasputin – Appears as a voice in Perky's many dreams throughout the book. Rasputin tries to pull Groovy, Ennabeth, and Perky into the pit by the cursed shoes that Lasputin had given them so he could get F/ckboy Zeus's Power.

### Creepy Weirdos

* Alecto and the other Furies
* Minotaur
* Hellhounds
* Medusa
* Echidna
* Chimera
* Procrustes
* Cerberus
* Pit Scorpion