recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
The Vault

### Welcome to The Vault!

The Vault is an interactive and highly informative collection of both weaponry and relics featured in The Archaia Chronicles. Both have a pictorial list of items that will take you to their respective page upon clicking. The list is organized by Chronicle, group, and order of appearance in the saga. Note that the content contained on this page is subject to high chance of change as more information becomes available about the weaponry and relics of The Archaia Chronicles!
Chronum

Myranda

Filus

Na'maer

**Chronum**, also known as **Father Time**, is a primordial god in The Archaia Chronicles. He is the deity of time, including its creation and natural order. Chronum was also the first living entity to come into existence when he manifested out of the Primeval Void. After the tears of his lover, Myranda, Mother of life, spawned life into existence on Archaia, Chronum vowed to watch over the Protoarchaians by giving them his blessing of time.

To the Archaians, Chronum is worshipped in a more abstract type of way. He is seen more as a force of time rather than a physical apparition (though he does have an anthropomorphic form). In the series, Chronum is very rarely seen, more often cited in various events rather than being physically present. This also attributes to his more conceptual idolization.

## Background

Chronum was the first being who came into existence in the Archaia universe. He spawned out of the Primeval Void with the ability to manipulate the raw, discordant time surging rampantly throughout the nothingness.

After Myranda came into existence, Chronum fell in love with her. The two spent the next millions of years together, bringing creation out from the void. However, Chronum could not dispel the increasing loneliness that troubled his wife's heart. When Myranda's tears flooded the empty world and created life, Chronum took it upon himself to watch over her creations so that she was never felt that kind of sadness again.

For thousands of generations, Chronum protected the world and its people, the Protoarchaians. As he grew older, he knew that he would need help in maintaining chronological order. He and Myranda eventually conceived children, which according to Filus, his top advisor, would have powers to govern the natural flow of time. The children were Auroris and Maru.

Now with children able to aid him in maintaining time, Chronum decided to watch over the Protoarchains with less hands-on intervention. Instead, he retired back to the Pantheon, the plane of existence which the Primordials and their servants lived on. He lived prosperously with Myranda in his palace until his eldest son, Maru, betrayed Auroris in the day and night cycle, also cursing Myranda to eternal sleep. A grieving and wrathful Chronum led a massive army against the corrupted night god, eventually sealing him away with the help of his younger son Auroris. Apocalypse was averted, but nothing was going to be the same again.

Because of the loss of both his wife and son, Chronum continued his hands-off ruling on Archaia, entrusting Auroris to be the representative of his will. As a result, the Archaians gradually regarded him as more of a natural, conceptual deity, the manifestation of time itself.
Goblin

Goblins are small green creatures native to Cordelia. They live among the other races, but they tend to find themselves in lower class positions. Some resort to disguises to avoid any negative attention, but they all tend to speak in high, gravely voices.

Goblins tend to have vulgar or potentially disgusting words as names, such as Pubic, Flush, or Bukakke. They have their own language and Pubic states that every goblin worships The Butthole Queen, a goddess that they all have a crush on.

Goblins have an average life expectancy of about 9 years (meaning that most goblins the party has met are younger than 9 years old). This can be altered thanks to the discovery made by Brian Fuck that when stacked like building blocks, goblins naturally cling to each other and form a hivemind between them. This can greatly increased their combined lifespan and mental capacity, such as with The Shish Kebab Express. Some goblins actually seem quite happy to do so and are distressed when forced to leave such an arrangement.

## Trivia

* Goblins have green and brown blood. They smell even worse on the inside.
* Goblins have extremely dense and highly pressurized insides and are highly flammable. This makes it entirely possible for one to explode into gore when they die.
* While goblins have biological parents, they put a lot of emphasis on found families.
Tomen Marebun

Unknown Secret Society

**Tomen Marebun**is a character in The Archaia Chronicles series. He is the father of mercenary bowman Capalis Marebun. About 18 years prior to the events of the series, Tomen mysteriously vanished without a trace. Leaving Capalis to spend nearly two decades trying to find and get him back.

Tomen was once a locally famous hunter in Album in his younger years. As he grew older, he yearned to explore the mysterious wonders of Visilion. However, in consequence, it caused a drift in him and his son's relationship.

## Background

Tomen was born in Album about 40-50 years prior the events of The Mask of Na'maer. In his youth, he acquired the skills of archery from his father, and later became a notable hunter for hire. Sometime during this stage of his life, Tomen met a woman. The two fell in love, eloped, and had a son which they named Capalis.

However, Tomen's wife tragically died in childbirth, leaving him to care for his newborn son on his own. For a couple years, Tomen stepped down into obscurity so he could raise his son. But he  did keep the tradition alive when, much like his father, passed down his knowledge of the bow and arrow to Capalis. He would later see the promising skills and fervor of the hunt in his boy.

As Capalis got older, Tomen desired to go out and explore Visilion once again. He had become engrossed in many myths, legends, and tales across the continent. Often he would go on expeditions for weeks, even months at a time, leaving Capalis on his own. It was one thing that slowly tested their relationship. When Capalis was in his mid-teens, Tomen had slowly descended into a paranoia after a string of expeditions into the Farlands. Then, days after son's birthday, he suddenly disappeared.

For the next 18 years, Capalis would stop at nothing to get his estranged father back and find out why he had vanished...
Agrarian Pimp

The local tailor of Manassas, Virginia. He is a human man with large ears (and therefor good hearing), who varies between being a fool and being of average intelligence. He is married to Sadie Segawolf and the father of Waterloo.

He greets the party when they arrive in town since the town's greeter is on vacation. The entire town is stuck on vacation since Wartortle Spone taught them about vacations and then perished before he could tell them that they end. The party gradually convinces them that stopping their vacation is a good thing, especially since they are starving from untended crops. Agrarian can finally return to being a tailor and fix his ruined clothes, though he plans to retire next year.
Come Glide With Me

*There there, friend. Please, rest on this comfortable, padded stool. It can be so hard to download a podcast, but somehow you've done it. Well done! Why don't I pour you a favorite beverage? Perhaps, if you're brave enough, you can also it hit play. But it's also brave to not hit play...*

## Summary

The party stops by The Purring and Cherished Family Pet bar, learning from the owner (The Friend Man) that it was mostly destroyed by a demon matching the description of the one that came out of Virgina’s book. Frederick notices the anti-magic feces on his possessed hand is beginning to dry and flake off, fearing the worst. He warns Stirfry that the entity hates their friendship, and when Stirfry tests this the hand tries to attack the kenku. Stirfry takes a jar of vinegar from the bar and seals the hand inside it, hoping to preserve the anti-magic.

The party leaves the bar and heads towards The Teenage Woods. Bellow reminds them of a choke point ahead of them due to The Skin-Eating Storm, a weather phenomenon that rips the skin off anyone who enters it beyond a specific safe path. The party finds that the Witch Hunters have covered the area in callstones and wanted posters, and have secured the only way through the storm. They disguise themselves but are overheard by Demonstrating Michael, a cool human offering to smuggle them through. He warns of the dangers of the storm and, true to his name, he steps into the storm and does horribly. His identical brother Normal Michael appears with the same offer.

Normal leads them up some hidden stairs into the treetops above the storm. Creatures called the gliding men live there, large naked men with excess skin for gliding beneath their arms. The party quickly earns their trust with treats before riding them over the storm. They are attacked by their natural predators (other gliding men, but with weapons), but the party fends them with magic, their own weapons, and Bellow’s never before mentioned Blade of Eternal Slumber. They glide over the border into the Teenage Woods while Bellow bemoans the loss of his beloved blade.

## Links

* https://headgum.com/rude-tales-of-magic/come-glide-with-me
Tantarin

Poppifar

Possession Abilities

**Tantarin**is an antagonist in The Archaia Chronicles. It is a physical manifestation spawned from Cymriel's rage. Tantarin has the ability to shapeshift itself between multiple forms and can possess inanimate objects to create monstrous beasts. Tantarin serves as Cymriel's henchmen in The Mask of Na'maer.

## Background

Nothing is known about the true origin of Tantarin. According to Poppifar, it is implied that it belongs to a species of spirit minions used by the nomads in Tantar.

The Tantarin spirit seen in the series originated from Cymriel's anger. After he murdered Alden with a concentration of dark magic, it became a sentient creature bounded to Cymriel.
Zia the Mystique

**Zia the Mystique** is a supporting character in The Archaia Chronicles. She is an gypsy alchemist who travels the land of Visilion with her Elfling apprentice Kelsina. She often offers her magical knowledge and skills in the Visilion Underground of Yellond.

Since she was young, Zia has had an extraordinary talent for all things mystical, particularly the alchemical arts. Her parents had her sent away to practice her magic under the tutelage of a strict monk. However, Zia could not stand the limits and prejudice that her tutors imposed on her. She chose to run away and study on her own path, and alongside that, make some money as well, selling her magical abilities to those who dare seek her.

## Background

As a little girl, Zia lived on the Twilight Coast, a beach flourishing with the forces of nature. It was there where Zia explored the mystical energies of Archaia. She had an extraordinary gift for using magic, which her parents saw. Wanting to support her, they had her sent away to the island of Tierean, where she would learn to grow in her magical abilities.

She practiced as a student under Ivan of Abernathy, a powerful but grossly egotistical monk. Though she continued to prove herself in her magic abilities, especially in alchemy, which she adopted as her primary art, it still wasn't enough for her mentor. He would berate her, citing that women should not be delving into such natural forces. Being on Tierean seriously made Zia question her passion for magic, almost driving her to quit.

But her passion continue to motivate her to prove him wrong. For the next year, Zia taught herself all she could and grew in her abilities. She eventually was so powerful that she outperformed Ivan himself. Yet even after humiliation, he would not give Zia the credit she was due. Realizing that he would never change and that she wanted to pursue her own destiny in magic, she ran away back to the Visilion mainland.

Zia then found herself alone, and she was happy. For now she had all the time to practice magic without restrictions, and without the eyes of a scornful master. She made a name for herself, people called her "The Mystique." Soon after, she began to offer her magic in exchange for a price, and subsequently, she became one of the most sought out of people in Visilion

Now, Zia often frequents in Yellond, in the Visilion Underground where she sells her magic. She also mentors a young Elfling named Kelsina, to teach her form of magic to an impressionable youth. Zia had to break standards for her destiny, and she intends to spread that message to others.
Breadskin

The Cordelian god of sandwich crusts. He is not commonly worshipped, but without him sandwich bread would go on forever. He is married to a goddess of the bottom of a pond.

Frederick reaches out to any random god when cornered in Ruleshaven. Breadskin is the one that answers, but he is so unpopular with worshipers that he's convinced it's a prank call.
C'mon And Be My Friend

A song performed in the episode And Just Like That.... Lexicon Matters sings it trying to tempt and threaten the party into working for him rather than fighting him.

It was written by Tim Platt and Branson Reese and performed by Branson Reese as Lexicon Matters and his daughter. The music was done by Casey Toney.

## Lyrics

**Lexicon Matters:**

Down here we heard that bell

Why ya had to ring the thing, I couldn’t tell

Cuz down here no rules apply

Plus school is amazing. I’m a standup guy

You see where this is going?

You’ve got demands aflowing

Into a dam that has been damned.

I am the dean!

Join me: get extra credit

Deny me, you’ll regret it

You’ll get suspended on a CROSS WHY NOT TOSS OFF YOUR CARES AND

C’mon and be my friend?

We’ll hit the town, go on a bender

C’mon and be my friend

We’ll disembowel every vendor

C’mon and be my friend!

I’ll shower you with legal tender

Want a job? I’ll get you tenured.

Orgasms that last for ten years

Not a trick! No need to fear!

Just sign on this red line.

**Silver Platter:**

You may think my fate is tragic, but that’s one thing that it ain’t

No no no no no

Just because I got all gobbled up by my papa that don’t make this girl a saint

Hire them, dad! Hire them!

**Lexicon:**

Up there your class dismissed.

All your crushes going home with not a soul to kiss

But down here it’s summer vibes

With all your friends stuck together forever all time!

Teach one class a semester

Pass/fail for every tester

At every grade I’ll get you laid. You’ll love to teach

A throne by every chalkboard

Each TA hot and both-oared.

Do what I say and then all day

You'll fuck and barely work so

Come on and be my friend

We'll teach when time off's gettin boring.

Come on and be my friend

Drink on the house, I’ll do the pouring

Come on and be my friend

A private jet for all your touring

This offer ain’t worth ignoring

If you say no, then I’m exploring

Nailing y'all into the floor

So sign on this red line

Sign on this red…

Line.

## Trivia

* Lexicon’s outlandish offers, cartoonish shapeshifting, and urging the players to be his friend is similar to the song *Friend Like Me* from Disney’s *Aladdin*. Rude Talks of Chatting also mentions taking inspiration from Squirrel Nut Zipper's "Got My Own Thing Now" and the Robot Hell song from Futurama.

## Links

* Teaser clip from the RToM Twitter: https://twitter.com/of\_rude/status/1724453012620394709
* Tim's demo version (Patreon content): https://www.patreon.com/posts/lexicon-matters-92883781
Expensive Coast

Voted one of the most beautiful beaches in one of Cordelia's first free elections. It is known for its eternal sunshine, which is caused by some error in nature.

Due to the nature of communication and travel in Cordelia, some believe that this may be an exaggeration. Some are not even sure if The Expensive Coast exists.
Butthole

An elderly goblin with a cane and a beard. He is well known to other goblins, but lives a secret life as a part of the Witch Hunters as Upper Management. He joined forces with Daddy’s Cummies and The Pee That Won’t Flush. Together, they pose as a humanoid and rise up the ranks to help steer the Witch Hunters towards fending off the goblin-hating Unpleasantness. They reveal themselves to Frederick de Bonesby during the episode Boy Do We Ever Have Such Sights!
Darien de Dorisia

Dorisia

Visilion Underground/Yellond

**Darien de Dorisia** is a main character featured in The Archaia Chronicles. He is a suave and infamous thief bearing illusive magic. After he is coerced into helping Capalis in exchange for a pardon, Darien becomes a valuable partner.

As charming of a person as Darien appears to be, deep down he is a man running from a lifelong collection of pain. From the death of his only sister, to the occupation of his home by the Inquises, he is a vulnerable soul behind his facade of a rebellious outlaw, though he wishes he could correct it all. Darien doesn't just practice illusion, he is the living definition of it.

## Background

Growing up an orphan, Darien had to adapt to the outside world if he wished to survive. His parents had perished in the Dorisian Rebellion, leaving him and his sickly sister behind in their hometown under tyrannical occupation. Together, they had survived as street paupers, begging for food, money, and clothes.

When ends began to get harder and harder to meet, Darien and his younger sister took it into their own hands to ensure they stayed alive by stealing. It came particularly easy to Darien, as his charisma charmed many of his victims. He also developed the ability to be incredibly inconspicuous, donning himself the "Fantasma" because he could seemingly steal in plain sight with little trouble.

Eventually Darien's shifty deeds caught up to him. One fateful day, he and his sisters were on their usual run in the Dorisian capital. Their target was a traveling caravan of food. With that stock of food, they would have had plenty to eat for months. However, in a surprising twist, the caravan turned out to be a disguised convoy of stolen relics belonging to the Ebon Order. Both he and his sister were pursued by the revealed cultists, and only Darien escaped after accidentally activating the powers of mysterious necklace, the Phantom Pendant. Unfortunately, his sister was tragically abducted.

A guilty Darien spent months looking for his lost younger sister, and it eventually led him to a dungeon. There, the worst was confirmed to him. His sickly sister did not survive in the horrid conditions of the dungeon, and died to her illness. The news shattered Darien and spiraled him into immense grief.

All of the pain endured by Darien up to this point had destroyed his ability to function as a person, driving him almost to suicide. To mask his suffering and carry on, Darien had developed an alter ego (with the help of the Phantom Pendant, which he still had in his possession) of a suave and extroverted outlaw which would eventually become part of his layered personality. Donning his old nickname, "El Fantasma" he went on to become one of the most infamous thieves in Visilion.
Ah Dang! Mothman Won’t Move Out (He Said It Was Just For The Weekend)

*"The world's very first monster was man. Hu-man. I'm gonna let you sit with that one for a second because like a big big poop in reverse, it's a lot to take in without warning."*

Ah Dang! Mothman Won’t Move Out (He Said It Was Just For The Weekend) is a one-page RPG that is run by Tim Platt as Patreon bonus content. Three men sharing an apartment on a riverboat are plagued by a mooching Mothman as they work to solve his issues and get him to move back out as politely as possible.

**Party**:

Joe Lepore as Gavin Lavin

Christopher Hastings as Buster Humbles

Taylor Moore as Tom Plott.
Charles Manson Riley

The owner of Riley Good Tours, a tour boat business that guides people along The River Styx. He is a surprisingly pleasant man for a businessman in Hell, appearing to be an average human dressed in khakis and a polo shirt. He considers himself quite average, but claims he was sent to Hell due to a spelling error with another Charles Manson. He hopes that the other Charles is living happily and thinking about his life up in Heaven because he heard he did some terrible things to turtles. He is married to a demon named Floating Wolf Orb (she lives up to the name).

Charles meets the party while giving one of his tours on Beavis, his giant duck that he uses as a boat. When they first arrive in Hell, he picks them up and allows them to go along with the rest of his tour. He brings them back to his house at the end of the tour, treating them as guests and introducing them to his wife. They bring the group up to speed on the goings on in Hell lately and the basic rules of the realm before giving them directions to The Other Side.

## Trivia

* Charles' name and backstory is a reference to the famous cult leader Charles Manson.
* Charles' business is a pun on "Really Good Tours."
* Charles and Floating Wolf Orb have many children that are only briefly mentioned. They include Carnival, Princess, Celebrity, Sea Dream, Norwegian, and Little Disney.
* Charles' home has a door leading to a room with Davo inside. Infinite versions of himself are crucified and feeling all of the pain at once, so Charles tosses him a beer every now and then to help out.
* Charles is statted as a Bard. He passes the party his business card before they leave, using them as his Bardic Inspiration.
Silver-Lined Shooter

The **Silver-Lined Shooter** is a special weapon feature in The Archaia Chronicles. It was introduced in the The Mask of Na'maer and is wielded by Capalis Marebun. This weapon is an enchanted wooden bow that can shoot special arrows that come back to the user upon accurately hitting a target.

The Silver-Lined Shooter is an heirloom of the Marebun family. It has been passed down 3 successive generations before Tomen Marebun retired it. How it became enchanted remains a mystery. A family tale has is that the soul of a pixie sprite lives within wooden finishing of the bow.

When Tomen disappeared, his son Capalis took the bow and became its new wielder. Since then, he's used it on mercenary hunts. And still, its arrows stay loyal to the wielder.

## Schematic

The bow stands at around 2'9'' when put upright. Its wooden frame is capped with silver (with ornate designs carved in) at the ends of the bow and near the arrow rest towards the recurves. This combination of materials allows the user a high mobility and effective handling without sacrificing stability.

The arrow rest and gripping is made of a silver alloy etched to fit comfortably in the palm, especially under pressure. It is near impossible to snap it or bent it out of shape, thanks to the care given to it by its past wielders. Similarly, the Cinnisilk bowstring is shred-proof, allowing users to draw it quite far for more penetrative shots.

Any arrow can be used as ammunition, and up to three can be shot at one time. Interestingly, once a new arrow is fired and accurately takes down a target, it becomes bounded to the Silver-Lined Shooter. When its bonded, it becomes an indestructible projectile until the bond is broken. This happens when the arrow misses the target.

## Trivia

* The grip of the bow has a set of five initials carved into it, each one signifying the Marebun whose has wielded it. They read VM, AM, MM, TM, and CM.
* The ending silver caps of the bow were sharpened by Capalis as an emergency secret weapon.
* When the arrows fly back to the bow, a faint noise that sounds like a fairy singing in reverse can be heard.
* It has a sweet smell according to Darien, like cinnamon or autumn woods. This is due to the string being made of Cinnisilk.
Canyonera

One of the orc sisters who aid the party in Breaking Dawn. She rides on a dire dragonfly alongside Dodge Deranga and Natalie Armpits, checking in on the group after their violent encounter with a swarm of dire bats. She had a shaved head, pink bangs sideburns and wears goggles.

She and her sisters are heading towards Riddles Guy, pointing out that the party is heading the wrong way towards Ruleshaven. In their injured and weary state, they agree to follow them to Riddles Guy with various levels of enthusiasm. When Natalie attempts to sacrifice Stirfry in the closing ritual at Riddle Guy, Canyonera gladly helps her out of sisterhood. She tries to fight off Albee when she foils their plans, but both sides end up on forgiving terms.

## Trivia

* Like Dodge, Canyonera is a slightly altered name of a car. In her case, her name resembles the Canyonero, a fictional SUV advertised on The Simpsons.
Noct Burnhart

**Noct Burnhart**, is a character in The Archaia Chronicles. He is a secondary antagonist in The Mask of Na'maer. Noct serves Cymriel as his second in command, and often does most of his dirty work. He is known to be a remorseless and sadistic killer, often cited as one of the most intimidating parts of the cult.

## Background

Prior the the creation of the Ebon Order, Noct was imprisoned by Namaean authorities for brutally slaughtering a prominent farmer. 4 years after his imprisonment, he met Cymriel Kram, who was detained to the same prison. The two bonded over Cymriel's plan to dispel unjust authority, which soon led them to form a secret prison gang.

Sometime later, the two somehow managed to escape captivity and spent the next few years dedicated to growing their clan, which later evolved into infamous Ebon Order. Noct was Cymriel's cruel right hand mand, typically involved in the orchestration of of brutal terroristic attacks. He was a notable part in the Namaean Festival Bombing, which killed almost one hundred innocent commoners.

Noct is the Order's embodiment of death. With no regard and even more brutality than Cymriel, he is one of the major fear assets of the Ebon Order.
Big Finish

A member of The Virtuous Bandits. He is mentioned briefly during their introductions, hinting that they will eventually find out why he's named Big Finish.

When they are all slain by the party's moral quandaries, he says they'll finally see why just before he dies and his head explodes into pure virtue that splatters the entire room.
Come At The King

A campaign set in Payola during the height of The Cordelian Empire's control. It follows the plot of several conspirators out to assassinate the emperor himself, each for their own reasons.

The campaign was started to establish the background of the setting while also allowing the players to maintain their production quality of the main series during social distancing.

## Party Members

Smellulus Bacharach

Butter St. Beef

Grimothee Steel

Deli

Torrin

## Trivia

* The often-used background music for Come At The King is In the Hall of the Mountain King. The song was written to represent being mocked and laughed at by trolls.
Come At the King: Chapter 4

*It's high crimes, light treason, and social faux pas par excellence at the Power Ball in the caverns beneath Payola, and our inverted-heroes (the opposite of heroes in a way if you think about it) must navigate the slippery social ladder and high society chaos as their prey draws breathlessly near. Masks on, listener, and save a spot on your dance card...for danger!*

The party infiltrates The Power Ball, trying to lay low long enough to get their hands on the emperor.

## Summary

The party reunites with Wealthy Wim Windows at The Trim Cuckold. He has them blindfolded and led off through the sewers to the underground mansion of Sundown Samara to attend The Power Ball. They are allowed in as Wealthy's guests, where he warns that everything at the party has a price to pay. They enter to a ballroom loaded with luxury and guests that Wealthy points out to them. Grimothy's former owner Freddery Steel appears on the scene, disregarding Grimothy entirely. Torrin gives him a fake butt for a mask, posing as the official masker for the party. The actual masker appears to interrupt her, who Torrin convinces that she is another masker. She assigns them each their masks and lets them on their way.

The party separates as Torrin and Deli try to locate The Beautiful Avoider. They search the kitchen, where Torrin bluffs her way into convincing a halfling server to admit they don't know where the child eaten at The Power Ball is kept. Deli blows their cover as she springs out to steal the host's shiny vest, but the caterers stack into one form to drive them off as their standard anti-harpy procedure.

Smellulus attempts small talk with the wealthy partners Rodan, Rodan and Dan, but only manages to come off as a creep. Butter talks to Judge Alamo Gold, only to boast about his future prospects. Grimothee catches up to Freddery, who believed that he had walked into the ocean and left him when he entered puberty. They fail to come to an understanding and end up bickering despite remembering the good times they had.

They are interrupted by a series of events. Emperor Nog Romansky and his wife arrive moments before Sundown erupts out of her wine fountain, and the goblin magician Diarrhea appears and makes an example of a goat by gradually turning it into a cup of liquid "goat juice" for everyone. Smellulus and Deli drink it while the others remember the warning about everything having a price. The party is introduced to the emperor himself, acting polite and kissing his rings as he fumbles through the conversation. Diarrhea appears once again with The Beautiful Avoider as the child to be eaten tonight. As she shouts at the attending party-goers when Torrin summons a cloud of daggers to shred Diarrhea into pieces. In the panic, Nog flees the scene escorted by the orc oil baron Tactical Papers. Wealthy bemoans being embarrassed at the ball again, but Torrin gives him a wedgie and the party gives chase.

## Link

https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/miniseries-come-at-the-king-part-4
Cornelius Chesterfield

An older gentleman and Lia Chesterfield's father. He is happily married to Catherine Chesterfield and is far too open with their public displays of affection for most peoples' liking. Both of her parents believe that Lia can do no wrong. They are the host and hostess to the 12th Day of Christmas party that begins Beans and Revelry.
Booyousuck

A female kenku in Stirfry's former gang, sometimes going by Boo for short. She speaks primarily with sound affects rather than sentences, something Stirfry explains as having trouble talking. She refrains from speaking as much as the others due to her trouble communicating, only knowing a handful of actual words.

She is ultimately among the dead when the assassin strikes Scrum North. Stirfry is with her as she passes and speaks his true name to her (the sound of a knife being sharpened).
Dan

The human husband to Rodan and Rodan, two of the richest tieflings in the empire. He is confident and charming, counting himself as lucky to be with the sisters.

He attends The Power Ball as his wives' guest, where they make smalltalk with Smellulus. Smellulus asks them how their sex life works with them being sisters and Dan takes Smellulus aside to advise him about how poorly he's striking out. When he warns him to shape up, Smellulus threatens to kill him. Dan is immediately intimidated and hurries back to tell his wives who get the loxodon to back down and insist he was going to "thrill him."

Dan wears a cocoon mask to The Power Ball. When Unhittable Babylon Brown curses the goat juice that is given out, he is turned into an actual cocoon. He is left immobile among the other transformed guests.
Davo

A dwarf and former housemate of Bellow's at Sigma Sigma Sigma. He was a student and overall bad boy attending Polaris University before it disappeared. He enjoys beer and running, but is easily distracted.

Davo is one of the few students to avoid the in
cident at Polaris University since he fell in a hole while the others went to get more beer. He ends up being knocked out when he accompanies the party to the remains of campus, only to be possessed by Strahd Plances. The party defeats Strahd, freeing Davo before Strahd blows him up anyway.

## **Trivia**

* Davo is one of many characters that have been possessed by Cheddar.
* The Rude Tales of Magic Patreon contains a recording of Davo's thoughts during the time when he fell down a hole. It mostly involves his philosophical views on beer and his lifelong dream to name a worm.
* When Bellow suffers brain damage from being possessed by Cheddar, he loses Davo's address from his memory.
* The party meets Davo in Hell, where multiple forms of himself are being eternally crucified. Charles Manson Riley has a door in his house leading to him for reasons he doesn't understand, but he tosses him a beer once in a while.
Elf

Elves are a humanoid race common to Cordelia. They are conventionally attractive and slim, and can easily come off as aloof to other races. They live very long lives, aging much more slowly than humans. At the age of 1000, they will automatically pass away and “turn into a beautiful dream.”

Elves come in several different types, including high elves, moon elves, and dark elves. Elves can breed with other races, as several half-elves are also encountered throughout the series.
Dust

An infrequently used street drug sold in The Suggestions District. Its users are easily identified since they have their heads turned into a fish’s.

There appears to be little market for dust since it is non-addictive and its benefits don’t appear to be worth the transformation behind it. Its first use gives the person a fish head, and every further use gives them an intense urge to sit down. It is only slightly satisfying once you actually do sit down, and the mild pleasure is even weaker each time it’s used.

During Come At The King, a fish-headed man tries to sell some to the party at The Suggestions District, but they are unimpressed. This turns out for the best since he doesn’t actually have any. Hammerhair was aware of it through conversation, but she doesn't understand how there's a market for it.
Conrad Montcroy

An elderly dwarf who is offered as sacrifice to the wicker sphinx during Riddle Guy '97. He goes willingly as the offering made by his grandson Beauregard Montcroy, but admits he would rather live if he could. Stirfry rallies him and Daniel Load to break out of the sphinx so long as they pretend to still be inside during the competition. Stirfry is quick to declare him a dear friend and helps him escape the sacrificial sphinx.
Dunkdunk Bodybad

A shy and incredibly sweaty employee at Flammable Rock Holdings. He's attracted to his coworker Leif but the two won't admit their feelings and get it out of their system until the player characters intervene. The two are stuck together under Bold Henry's magical mistletoe and take the excuse to have sloppy makeouts and hook up in their boss' carriage.

The two of them return in a Valentines Day special on the Patreon where they are still happily dating but need the party to give them a push.
You Will Meet A Small Mark Stranger

Arturo (Kellen Goff) tells his friend Ceazar (Wang Leehom) about the stranger friend was his.

### Episode

9a
9 (Season 3)

### Writer

Alec Holland
Nic Smal

### Director

Christopher Misiano
Robert King (co-director)
Michelle King (co-director)

*Storyboards directed by:* Dave Cooper

*Animation directed by:* Vivienne Medrano
**Australia:** Richard Jeffery

*You Will Meet A Small Mark Stranger* is the first segment episode of Season 3 in Ceazar Chan. It serves as the season finale.

## Synopsis

Today is the day people find their stranger friends but Pyro doesn't have one.

## Trivia

### Production

* This segment aired on the same day as *OH WE FLYIN' NOW*.

### Reference

* The episode based on the 2010 comedy-drama film You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger.
Beavis

A cursed giant duck that lives in Hell. It happily serves as Charles Manson Riley’s tour boat in his business Riley Good Tours. The two love each other deeply, but Charles is exclusively married to Floating Wolf Orb. They still allow him to be a part of their sexlife. Despite all this, Charles never asked his name until they met the party.

Beavis was summoned into Hell when a wrathful wizard tripped over a duck and created him out of spite. They gradually realize this was done by Frederick de Bonesby in his younger, more powerful days.
God

Christian God as He appears in Beans and Revelry. He is open to all manner of relationships and considers himself married to all beings. She is voiced by Ali Fisher.

When Lancelot Platt is debating between marrying Bethesda Herrington or joining the church (thus marrying God), Bethesda calls out God to prove herself the better choice. God descends from Heaven and agrees to Bethesda's new proposition of marrying all three of them together.

God appears in several other non-canon episodes, mostly in minor roles or passing mention. In Ah Dang! Mothman Won’t Move Out, Christian God is mentioned in Tim’s prologue as having created peppers to terrorize man. When humans loved peppers, He instead created monsters. He becomes a recurring theme and character in many intros to Tim's games.

His son, Jesus, is referred to by name throughout Rude Tales of Magic (usually as an exclamation). Pope Bonoducci the Infinitieth lives within The Switchblades where he watches over a stolen, sleeping piece of God's brain that wields nigh-omnipotent powers within its short range.

Frederick has also read about a newly formed religion centered around God 2.
For The Queen

For The Queen is a card-based roleplaying game where players are characters chosen to escort The Queen on a journey. Players draw cards with prompting questions that gradually develop their characters.

Rude Tales of Magic has played the game on several occasions. One was recorded as Patreon bonus content while another was released in 2023 in the show’s main feed.

**For The Queen 2023**The trip, the queen, and the characters gradually reveal their true selves on a journey to the kingdom of Bingo Bongo.

* Pierre Omelette: played by Branson Reese. A heavily accented foreigner who comes from a land where horses and men are treated as equals. He was captured by the queen and serves as her poison taster while quietly plotting his revenge.
* Precious Prince: played by Joe Lepore. The queen’s child, innocent and studious with a lot to learn and hopes of marrying his cousin.
* The Botanist: played by Christopher Hastings. A researcher who aids the queen with his medicine and shares a subconscious with the queen. He can never forgive her for turning himself 80 years old to keep the queen forever youthful.
* Clip Clopper the Horse Man: played by Tim Platt. A talking horse who is looked down upon/whipped by the group, despite being the queen’s trusted advisor. He has been offered something he cannot refuse: a whip that a horse can use on humans in exchange for betraying the queen.
* Bethesda: played by Carly Monardo. A loving servant of the queen, takes care of her basic needs while firmly defending her loving and sweet nature. She ultimately reveals that the queen is a robotic decoy and that she is the queen in disguise
Boy's Night

The Campaign Manager at Flammable Rock Holdings. He waits on his inheritance to kick in while evading his immense gambling debts and embezzling from the company. A firm believer in capitalism and a self-confessed coward. His greatest shame is that his debt was accrued by betting on himself in horse races and then not even racing in them, hoping to be recognized for his greatness.

Boy's Night ends up bringing his bookie to the company New Year's Eve party, hoping to win him some sympathy. His bookie is not amused, but Boy's Night places another bet that they can save the party from Father Time's wrath. He also planned to steal back his favorite pen from Bisabella, but she called the police on him and had him arrested. Rather than pay off his debts, he ends up paying his bail instead.
Father Time

Also known as Baby New Year. He is a colossal humanoid that walks/crawls beneath the surface of the planet. His life cycle is a calendar year, walking the same path every year as it grows from a crawling baby into a hobbling old man. In his later stages, he wields a huge scythe and speaks in a booming but slow voice. At the stroke of midnight on January 1st, he reverts into a giant baby and continues on his path.

During Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night, Flammable Rock Holdings mines so deep that they disturb Father Time's traditional path. He wanders to the surface and nearly tramples the company's New Year's party, but he is held off and convinced that it is the New Year. He shrinks back into his infant form where he is quickly redirected.
Fractus

A playful cumulonimbus cloud that was animated by Kreedis' elemental powers to serve as his loyal companion. He speaks almost exclusively in jokes and can fly while carrying several passengers. He seems to have been with Kreedis for some time because Albee recognizes him from Kreedis' biography. His appearance, voice and personality resemble Peter Griffin from Family Guy.

When Kreedis is particularly disoriented, Fractus can fly through his lungs to absorb the toxins inside him. This makes Fractus take on whatever influences Kreedis was under at the time.

When Kreedis dies at the end of Mountaintop, Fractus panics and disappears, presumably breaking apart like all of Kreedis' creations without him there to maintain them.

We later learn that Fractus was a beloved hero to the people of The Trashlands, who describe him as "perfect." Kreedis' mountain is referred to as Mount Fractus. After Kreedis' death, locals of Fort Casual mourn Fractus' connected disappearance and hold parades in his honor. There is even The Cult of Fractus that emerges after his death. They share in his mantra of "Ya tink that's bad?" and sacrifice the unfaithful in what they believe to be his wishes. The cult assumes that Kreedis was a mortal that Fractus kept as a pet rather than the other way around.

## Trivia

* Branson Reese has stated numerous times that Fractus is his favorite NPC and it caused him enormous emotional distress to kill him but that he did it anyway because "I have never been afraid of doing the right thing, no matter the cost."
* The Children of the Atmosphere depict Fractus as having performed many favors and blessings for the town. These include giving CPR to everyone in town and blocking the view of a judging god while they sinned. The validity of these tales is sketchy at best.
Combatro

A gritty, relatively young deity of one-on-one combat. He is a gruff god described as being covered in knives and muscle. He possesses black eyes and enjoys smoking cigars. He resides in Hell, fighting eternally in a coliseum of the dead. He appears to do this quite willingly.

He appears briefly in the finale of Come At the King, so this entry does contain spoilers.

## Come At the King: The Final Chapter

After the party finishes Amber-Ale Assembleaux, Combatro speaks to Butter in his mind. He praises his skill in battle, having watched over him for some time. He offers to make Butter his demigod, fighting with him for eternity in his underworld arena. Butter is fairly quick to accept, having just enough time to address his friends before his head explodes into blood, sending him to Hell to meet his master. The blood spatter of his head spells out "I'm fine" on the walls to assure them of his ultimate safety.
The Computer Savers

Theatrical release poster

*The Computer Savers* is a 2020 American animated action comedy film directed by Brad Bird and the film shows Swan Andrews (Dave McCormack) and his friends Jan Gordon-Levitt (Andre Robinson) and Janet Winston (Marsai Martin) had to save the world and stop Tim Andrews (Tom Kenny) and Johnny Andrews (Johnny Depp).

## Cast

* Dave McCormack as Swan Andrews
* Andre Robinson as Jan Gordon-Levitt
* Marsai Martin as Janet Winston
* Tobey Maguire as Peter Andrews
* Johnny Depp as Johnny Andrews
* Tom Kenny as Tim Andrews

### Additonal Voices

* Sumalee Monatano
* Jim Carrey
* Holly Hunter
* Brad Grusnick
* Val Kilmer
* Steve Carell
* Stephen Mailer
* Brennley Brown
* Brett Pels
* Roshon Fegan

## Transcript

The film's transcript, click here.

The film's trailer transcript, click here.
Dwarf

Dwarves are a short and stocky race in Cordelia with long lifespans. They tend to live in caves and mountains but will gladly live in more urban areas. There is even a race known as sea dwarves that are fully amphibious. They commonly grow beards, including some of their women.

## Trivia

* There is an unspoken bond between halflings and dwarves as the small folk of Cordelia. It can be invoked in times of dire need to call upon favors from each other.
Christopher Hastings

Christopher Hastings is a comic artist and writer. He is known for such creations as Dr. McNinja and Draculagate (co-created with GM of Rude Tales of Magic, Branson Reese). Christopher plays Frederick de Bonesby in Rude Tales of Magic and is married to Carly Monardo, who plays Albeara "Albee" Dawn. Christopher, Carly, and Branson met through a mutual theatre improv program in New York.

## Characters

Christopher Hastings has played the following Rude Tales of Magic characters:

* Frederick de Bonesby
* Butter St, Beef
* Rudolph Lichenburg
* Maurice Gib
* The Hess Truck/Jacob Marley
* Buster Humbles
* Jack Skellington/The JC Penny's catalog with big buff man arms and legs
* Doctor Susan Hospital
* Jason Baby
* Count Dracula
* Jonathan Large
* The Three Wise Men/Cronus

## External links

* The Chris Hastings Wiki
* Christopher Hastings on Twitter
Dino Spaghetti

Dino "TrivThe Made Man" Spaghetti is a huge, black, muscular dragonborn. At the time of the episode The Man In the Arena, he is one win away from setting a new record of won championship boxing matches. This may or may not have to do with his open mob ties and bribes in his favor.

He faces Thickie Thunder in what's to be his record-breaking match. Thickie ends up refusing the offer to throw the fight, killing Dino in the ring instead. This outrages Dino's many supporters and those betting on him, leading to Terry Surgery putting a bounty on Thickie's head.

## Trivia

* Dino is stated to be 400 lbs by the ring announcer.
Dire Animals

Dire animals are a type of creatures that appear in the wilderness Cordelia. They are generally much larger and more dangerous versions of their respective species. Dire beasts frequently inhabit The Trashlands, where life is more difficult and dangerous.

Dire animals seen or mentioned so far include:

**Dire moles**. They are mentioned by Branson Reese as a possible cause for a pothole.

**Dire coyotes**. One’s corpse is inhabited by SERVANT.

**Dire bats**. A swarm of them are disturbed by Ivan Gretsky and attack the party in The Trashlands.

**Dire dragonflies**. Several appear in The Trashlands being ridden like low-flying motorcycles.
Bukakke Pepsi

A goblin who wears clothes and makeup to disguise himself as a halfling.The exact reason for his disguise is unclear, but Senator Pepsi insists repeatedly that they are in fact related and he is a real halfling.Senator Pepsi says that despite his small size, Bukakke Pepsi uses the bathroom reserved for large creatures. He describes it as "the inverse of a holiday."
Bladen Corpse

A rebellious, 51-year-old teenage gnome in a leather jacket. He is tried with the murder/exploding of a tax collector and Butter StBeef serves as his defense attorney. Despite Butter’s confidence in his case, there are over 100 witnesses (including a magician and ten kenku who can recreate the scene) and Bladen has been heard confessing to the crime over 40 times. He is on recording by several kenku saying he did it because he’s “a fucked up guy” and that “prison would be too good for me.”

He is ultimately found guilty. Despite Butter’s appeal to the court, Judge Alamo Gold says that Butters somehow made him sound even more guilty. Butter’s resulting spit-take (despite having drank nothing) causes the judge to sentence Butter to trial by combat. Bladen is sentenced to death at the end of his trial.

## Trivia

* Bladen's name is pronounced "blade in corpse," making him look even more suspicious.