Mysterion/Quotes

File:Mysterion-Quote.jpg
This page lists all notable quotes voiced out by Mysterion (Kenny McCormick) in *South Park: The Fractured But Whole*.

## Overview

Mysterion often talks about dark things like death and murder, and about fate; this can be related to his infamous inability to die.

He is especially hateful towards everyone, especially Vampires, labeling them as 'lame'.

He does however show a caring side, in particular towards his sister in From Dusk till Casa Bonita, where he tries to convince her not to be friends with the Vampires.

## Field/Story

* **During The Chaos Gambit**
	+ "You wanna get back there? Not a chance. The Doc is working on something that will save us all."
	+ "This area is off limits."
	+ "I don't trust you, Butthole, but I'll let you prove me wrong."
	+ "I got my eye on you, Butthole."
	+ "Shit's going south real fast in this town."
* **During The Thin White Line**
	+ "What a bunch of dicks."
	+ "What are you assholes doing here?"
	+ "This isn't going to get any easier, but those cops need to pay."
	+ "Tupperware's tupperware just saved his ass."
	+ "Scrambles?"
	+ "WHAT?!"
	+ "THAT'S IT, NEW KID! WE'RE GONNA RIP YOU APART!"
	+ "I've always been a big fan of revenge."
	+ "Get that traitor!"
	+ "YOU FUCKING ANIMAL!"
* **During The Thin White Line, wrong way**
	+ "What are you running errands? We got a police station to infiltrate, and it ain't that way."
* **During The Thin White Line, Jared spared**
	+ "You got a soft heart, kid. Maybe TOO soft."
* **During The Thin White Line, Jared not spared**
	+ "Some criminals don't deserve mercy."
	+ "That's something you don't see every day. A fart execution."
* **During The Thin White Line, Jared defeated**
	+ "Whatever they got in the basement can't be worse than this puke."
* **During The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto**
	+ "WE CAN'T BEAT THIS THING!"
	+ "Let's get the fuck out the here!"
	+ "Is... Oh shit! Oh no!"
* **During Farts of Future Past**
	+ "HOLY SHIT, DUDE!"
	+ "We don't have time for this! Stand aside! We have to get to Cartman!"
	+ "WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO, FATASS!"
	+ 'WE AREN'T PLAYING ANYMORE! WE KNOW EVERYTHING! SHOW US YOUR LEFT HAND!"
	+ "SHOW US YOUR FUCKING LEFT HAND!"
	+ "COME ON! WE CAN STILL STOP THIS FUCKER!"
	+ "I have no fucking idea."
	+ "You all happy now?"
* **When Therapy Wars has been completed**
	+ "I heard about what you did for Tweek and Craig. You're all right, Butthole."
* **During From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "ButtLord, I need your help. Vampires have taken my sister, Karen. We have to save her. Get on the DLC Bus and come here now. I can't do it without you."
	+ "I knew I could count on you. Those fucking vampires kidnapped my sister and brought her here. Who knows what horrible things they're doing to her. You ready to do this?"
	+ "Good. We have to stop them. Some do not believe in vampires but they are very real. I know we've got other problems back in South Park, but I can't let those monsters hurt my sister."
	+ "Before we go in, I need to know that you can handle yourself. Take out these guys and I'll know you're ready."
	+ "Coon, what are you doing here?"
	+ "Fuck you, dude!"
	+ "This could only mean one thing..."
	+ "Look, it's Corey Haim! Get him!"
	+ "At least she's not a Vamp Kid."
* **With Henrietta Biggle, d**uring **From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ *Henrietta*: "You ever look around a restaurant and imagine who is the most dead inside?"
	*Mysterion*: "My family can't really afford to go to restaurants."
	*Henrietta*: "Oh, that's kinda goth."
* **Female New Kid idle**
	+ "You kinda remind me of my sister, New Kid. I have this weird urge to protect you."
* **Talked to, before completing The Samaritan Agenda**
	+ "You wanna get back there? No chance. The Doc is working on something that will save us all."
* **Turning down a selfie**
	+ "Not so fast. Prove that you really want to be here first."
* **Taking a selfie with the New Kid**
	+ "Let's do it. You're a real Freedom Pal Now."
	+ "Thanks for your help, Butthole! We should take a selfie."
* **After selfie**
	+ "Keeper."
	+ "Thanks again, Butthole."
	+ "Even if we're different sides, Butthole, you really helped me out, thanks."
* **Attacked**
	+ "Ow, dammit."
	+ "What the hell, dude?"
* **Farted on**
	+ "Careful with that thing, Butthole!"
	+ "Jesus Christ."

## Battle

* **Selected**
	+ "Let's settle this."
	+ "Mysterion!"
	+ "Present."
* **Battle start**
	+ "Today is the last day of the rest of your life."
* **Battle start, versus Shub-Niggurath, The Thin White Line**
	+ "We have to end this now!"
* **Battle start, versus Many-Assed Sixth Graders, The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto**
	+ "Okay, let's kick some asses."
* **Turn start**
	+ "It's time."
	+ "If I'm not your worst nightmare...I aspire to be."
	+ "Make way for Mysterion."
	+ "This is my time."
	+ "Prepare to meet your end."
	+ "This might get ugly."
* **Turn start, in low health**
	+ "I...can't...be defeated."
	+ "I...can't...die. But you can!"
* **Turn start, Civil War 2: Playtime's Over**
	+ "You're outmatched. Give up before you embarrass yourselves."
	+ "Fighting Doctor Timothy is a mistake beyond your comprehension!"
* **Turn start, versus Many-Assed Cats, The Many Asses of Dr. Mephesto**
	+ "Watch out for their claws! And butts."
* **Turn start after Corey Haim possessing Karen McCormick, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "The vamps are trying to take you once and for all! Fight them!"
	+ "Karen, snap out of it! You've got to fight Corey Haim!"
* **Turn start versus Vampires, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "I got some bad news about vampire immortality."
	+ "You want darkness? I can do darkness."
	+ "The forces of lameness will never win!"
	+ "Next I'll knock your stupid arm socks off."
* **Turn start versus Head Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "Dude, frosted tips aren't cool, they're lame as fuck."
* **New Kid turn start**
	+ "Go, Butthole!"
* **New Kid turn start versus Corey Haim, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "Just focus on not dying, OK?"
* **New Kid turn start, Civil War**
	+ "You're on the wrong side of this, New Kid."
	+ "Think about what you're doing, New Kid!"
	+ "Cartman's only working for himself, New Kid."
* **With Mike Makowski, after Vampire first using ability in VIP Room, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "God, even your opening moves are lame!"
* **New wave of Vampires, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "More? Bring 'em on."
* **Ally idle**
	+ "You guys want to grab something to eat after this?"
* **Ally idle, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "God, I hate themed birthday parties."
* **Attacking**
	+ "No mercy."
* **After attacking**
	+ "Today you crossed paths with the wrong immortal fourth grader."
	+ "Weep not for thine enemies. They're, like, total assholes."
* **After using Demonic Fury**
	+ "Fate brought us together so that I could tear you apart."
* **After using Demonic Fury on Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "Thought that might knock some sense into you."
* **Using Dread Rush, Dark Whisper, or Cruel Fate**
	+ "You won't see me coming."
	+ "Here we go."
* **After using Dread Rush**
	+ "You have no idea what you're dealing with."
	+ "It's only gonna get worse."
* **After using Dread Rush on Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "I'm just "expressing" myself."
* **After using Cruel Fate**
	+ "I'll see you in hell, you guys."
* **After ally attacking**
	+ "Yes...hasten their journey to the hereafter."
	+ "That looked painful."
	+ "Brutal. I like it."
	+ "Nice one."
* **After Call Girl using Phone Destroyer**
	+ "It was their destiny to get their social security numbers released to the internet."
* **After Henrietta using Cigarette Burn**
	+ "Smoking is pretty cool."
* **Targeted by Satanic Seal**
	+ "Thanks, Satan. Now we're even."
	+ "I'll take it."
* **Targeted by Baleful Blessing**
	+ "You won't like me when I'm possessed by demons."
* **Targeted by Baleful Blessing versus Corey Haim, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "Now I'm gonna do something bad."
* **After Human Kite using Wrath of Kite**
	+ "Kill or be killed, Human Kite. Only I can do both."
* **After New Kid attacking**
	+ "You're doing good work, New Kid... Fate's work."
	+ "Fear the Butthole!"
* **New Kid attacked**
	+ "You shouldn't make the Butthole angry."
	+ "The Butthole always wins in the end."
* **After New Kid using Dire Shroud on self**
	+ "Nice. Now you've got a shield AND health Regen on your next turn!"
	+ "The New Kid's powered up and pissed."
* **After New Kid using Dire Shroud on enemy**
	+ "Yeah, I'm a fan of the offensive tactic too."
* **After New Kid using Ghastly Grasp**
	+ "Careful, Butthole. Messing with the undead is risky."
	+ "Aww, you scared 'em."
	+ "Fuckin' dark, dude."
* **Targeted by Dire Shroud**
	+ "Ready or not, here I come!"
* **After New Kid using Soul Slash**
	+ "Good form, ButtLord!"
	+ "Lean into it next time!"
* **After Mosquito using Pandemic Pestilence**
	+ "Fate can be cruel, and kind of icky."
* **After Tupperware using Tupper Tornado**
	+ "Life is frail. You are not."
* **After a Timefart Glitch**
	+ "You don't get to go."
* **After a Timefart Pause**
	+ "Butthole sure has some violent gas."
	+ "There was more to that fart than meets the eye."
* **After a Timefart summon**
	+ "We're up to our necks in Buttholes."
	+ "Another Butthole, huh? Why not."
* **Vampire defeated, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "Mortality's a bitch."
	+ "One less vamp douche."
	+ "Now you've got something to be emo about."
	+ "Who's mortal now?"
* **After using healing item on self or ally**
	+ "Heal up."
	+ "Oh, that's potent."
* **New Kid healed or Protected**
	+ "Use it well, Butthole."
* **Healed or Protected**
	+ "Thank you."
	+ "I feel that...all over."
* **Reviving**
	+ "You need this more than me."
* **Attacked**
	+ "Crap."
	+ "So lame."
	+ "I...will remember that."
	+ "You don't want to hit me again."
	+ "Curses."
	+ "Damn you!"
	+ "I felt that."
	+ "Shit."
	+ "Quit trying so hard!"
	+ "You're gonna regret that."
* **Corey Haim possessing Karen McCormick, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "No! He's possessing Karen!"
* **After Corey Haim possessing Karen McCormick, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "Get out of Karen's body, you bastard!"
* **Attacked by Jared, The Thin White Line**
	+ "What a waste of a perfectly good sandwich."
* **Attacked by Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "Try again, dorks."
* **Ally attacked**
	+ "Show no weakness!"
	+ "You don't look so great."
* **Ally attacked by Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "That's so fucking lame."
* **Defeated**
	+ "Oh, right, Mysterion's dead, you guys."
* **Fighting Jared, after Jared speaks, The Thin White Line**
	+ "I'm gonna kick your ass."
	+ "You've got a lot of bad karma coming your way."
* **The Coon defeated**
	+ "We've lost the Coon! Oh well."
	+ "The Coon has gone to the Great Beyond!"
* **After Mitch Conner cheats, To Catch a Coon**
	+ "You cheating asshole!"
	+ "Cut the bullshit, Coon!"
	+ "Hey that's bullshit!"
	+ "Come the fuck on!"
	+ "Liar!"
	+ "Bullshit!"
* **New Kid defeated, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
	+ "This is fucking embarrassing."
* **New Kid targeted by Satanic Seal**
	+ "Butthole's supercharged!"
* **After Shub-Niggurath devouring Crooked Cop White Meat, The Thin White Line**
	+ "Death is coming. Better run."
* **Bleeding**
	+ "I guess bloodshed was inevitable."
* **Enraged**
	+ "There are no words for my anger."
* **Lifesteal**
	+ "Bonus."
	+ "Beautiful."
* **Victory**
	+ "Retribution but with Inclusion!"
	+ "This was only going to end one way."
	+ "I felt good about that."
* **Dialogue**
	+ **With Call Girl, after using Demonic Fury**
		- *Call Girl*: "Mysterion, you're a beast!"
		*Mysterion*: "Well you know, I have been working out."
	+ **With Call Girl, after using Dread Rush**
		- *Call Girl*: "I bet the Mysterion fan page is blowing up!"
		*Mysterion*: "That's why I'm getting a movie in Phase 1!"
	+ **With Call Girl, attacked**
		- *Call Girl*: "Ha! Mysterion didn't even flinch."
		*Mysterion*: "I did a little bit."
	+ **With The Coon, The Coon turn start after Corey Haim possessing Karen McCormick, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
		- *The Coon*: "Wow, how does it feel to know Corey Haim is inside your sister?"
		*Mysterion*: "Cartman, I fucking swear to god."
	+ **With The Coon, self or ally idle**
		- *The Coon*: "Mysterion, are you like a goth or ninja or what?"
		*Mysterion*: "I'm a wandering soul who can never truly die."
		*The Coon*: "Jesus, dramatic much?"
	+ **With The Coon, after attacking**
		- *Mysterion*: "Today you crossed paths with the wrong immortal fourth grader." / "Weep not for thine enemies. They're, like, total assholes."
		*The Coon:* "You're kind of a fucking downer, Mysterion."
		- *Mysterion*: "Today you crossed paths with the wrong immortal fourth grader." / "Weep not for thine enemies. They're, like, total assholes."
		*The Coon*: "God dammit, Mysterion! Would it kill you to be a little more upbeat?"
		*Mysterion*: "I doubt it."
	+ **With The Coon, after The Coon using Coon Lunge**
		- *Mysterion*: "Fate guides your claws, Coon."
		*The Coon*: "Fuck you, Mysterion. Fate ain't the boss of these fucking sweet claws!"
	+ **With The Coon, The Coon attacked**
		- *​The Coon*: "You fuck with the Coon, you answer to his friends. Right, guys?"
		*Mysterion*: "Fuck you, dude!"
	+ **With Corey Haim, turn start after Corey Haim possessing Karen McCormick, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
		- *Mysterion*: "Karen, snap out of it! You've got to fight Corey Haim!"
		*Corey Haim*: "That's ignorant!"
	+ **With Fastpass, after attacking**
		- *Mysterion*: "Today you crossed paths with the wrong immortal fourth grader."
		*Fastpass*: "That was some dark shit, man."
	+ **With Fastpass, after using Demonic Fury**
		- *Fastpass*: "You're a pretty intense dude, Mysterion."
		*Mysterion*: "I got a lot on my mind."
		- *Mysterion*: "Fate brought us together so that I could tear you apart."
		*Fastpass*: "That was some dark shit, man."
	+ **With Fastpass, after self or ally attacking**
		- *Mysterion*: "Weep not for thine enemies. They're, like, total assholes."
		*Fastpass*: "That was some dark shit, man."
	+ **With Fastpass, after Fastpass attacking**
		- *Mysterion*: "Live fast and die young. You have the right idea, Fastpass."
		*Fastpass*: "Yeah, I learned that one from a Family Circus strip."
		- *Mysterion*: "Press the attack while you still draw breath."
		*Fastpass*: "That was some dark shit, man."
	+ **With Henrietta, turn start, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
		- *Mysterion*: "You want darkness? I can do darkness."
		*Henrietta*: "Wow, that's pretty goth."
	+ **With Henrietta, after using Dark Whisper**
		- *Henrietta*: "I think you're actually scaring me."
		*Mysterion*: "Happy to help."
	+ **With Henrietta, after Henrietta first using Cigarette Burn, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
		- *Mysterion*: "Whoa, are you Pyromancer class?"
		*Henrietta*: "Try Satanist."
	+ **With Henrietta, after Henrietta using Satanic Seal**
		- *Mysterion*: "You're a mostly good witch, huh?"
		*Henrietta*: "Just don't get on my bad side."
	+ **With Henrietta, after Henrietta using Black Mass**
		- *Mysterion*: "Damn, that's hardcore goth."
		*Henrietta*: "Obviously."
		- *Mysterion*: "Wow, that's dark."
		*Henrietta*: "Yeah, thanks."
		- *Henrietta*: "It's good to have friends in dark places."
		*Mysterion*: "I'll say."
	+ **With Human Kite, turn start, final battle, Farts of Future Past**
		- *Mysterion*: "Knock off the bullshit, Kite."
		*Human Kite*: "I'm not doing anything, dude. It's Mitch!"
	+ **With Human Kite, after using Demonic Fury**
		- *Human Kite*: "Wow, dude, it's like you have zero fear of death."
		*Mysterion*: "I'm not the one who needs to be afraid."
	+ **With Human Kite, after Human Kite using Wrath of Kite**
		- *Mysterion*: "Death comes on plastic wings."
		*Human Kite*: "Actually, I kinda made 'em out of Mylar and this polyurethane stuff."
	+ **With Human Kite, character other than Human Kite attacked**
		- *​Human Kite*: "I'll make them pay for that!"
		*Mysterion*: "No. Vengeance will be mine alone."
	+ **With Karen McCormick, after attacking Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
		- *​Karen McCormick*: "You're hurting my friends, Guardian Angel!"
		*Mysterion*: "They've glamoured you, Karen! They're vampires!"
	+ **With Mike Makowski, attacked by Vampire Griefer, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
		- *Mike Makowski*: "Tremble before the power of Vampir!"
		*Mysterion*: "You couldn't make a rabbit tremble."
	+ **With Mike Makowski, Vampire defeated, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
		- *Mike Makowski*: "Hey, what am I gonna tell that kid's parents?"
		*Mysterion*: "That you're an asshole and your party sucks?"
		*Mike Makowski*: "Aww come on, that's not cool."
	+ **With Mitch Conner, turn start, To Catch a Coon**
		- *Mysterion*: "Stop before I break your fucking hand."
		*Mitch Conner*: "Not if I break you first, Mysterion. Which I will!"
	+ **With Mitch Conner, turn start, Farts of Future Past**
		- *Mitch Conner*: "You're up. Who're you gonna fight, Freedom Pal?"
		*Mysterion*: "To be honest, I'd be happy hitting either of you assholes right now."
	+ **With Mosquito, after Mosquito attacking**
		- *Mysterion*: "Shuffle thine enemies from this mortal coil, Mosquito."
		*Mosquito*: "If you mean suck their blood and stuff, you got it!"
	+ **With Professor Chaos, after attacking**
		- *Professor Chaos*: "We should totally team up!"
		*Mysterion*: "Mysterion works alone."
		*Professor Chaos*: "Really? I mean, we're kinda working together right now."
		*Mysterion*: "Mysterion works alone."
		*Professor Chaos*: "Well, ok then."
		- *Professor Chaos*: Gee whiz, Mysterion, you're really cool."
		*Mysterion*: "I know."
	+ **With Super Craig, after using Dread Rush**
		- *Super Craig*: "You're so melodramatic, dude."
		*Mysterion*: "I got a lot of pathos."
		*Super Craig*: "You should get that looked at."
	+ **With Super Craig, self or ally idle**
		- *Mysterion*: "Hey Craig, think you could have a shittier costume?"
		*Super Craig*: "Does it look like I care?"
		*Mysterion*: "Well, that's kind of my point."
	+ **With Super Craig, after Super Craig attacking**
		- *Mysterion*: "Nice technique."
		*Super Craig*: "I've got a black belt in not giving a shit."
	+ **With Toolshed, after attacking**
		- *Toolshed*: "Not sure those powers of yours are up to code."
		*Mysterion*: "I am not bound by your natural laws."
	+ **With Toolshed, after Toolshed using Spiral Power**
		- *Mysterion*: "Fight or fail, what does it matter? You'll be dust in a hundred years anyway."
		*Toolshed*: "Oh, god, you're right!"
	+ **With Vampire, turn start, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
		- *Mysterion*: "Next I'll knock your stupid arm socks off."
		*Vampire*: "They're battle gauntlets, from the ancient ones!"
	+ **With Vampire, ally attacked by Vampire, From Dusk till Casa Bonita**
		- *Mysterion*: "That's so fucking lame."
		*Vampire*: "No, it's not!"
	+ **With Wonder Tweek, Wonder Tweek idle, The Thin White Line**
		- *Wonder Tweek*: "Hey, you know I was mostly OK with fighting old people, but taking on the whole police station? This is some serious shit!"
		*Mysterion*: "Sometimes heroes have to work outside the law, Tweek."
	+ **With Wonder Tweek, attacked**
		- *Wonder Tweek*: "Mysterion, look out!"
		*Mysterion*: "A little late, dude."

## Trivia

He is the only original member of Freedom Pals that responds to The Coon's line: "You fuck with the Coon, you answer to his friends. Right, guys?". In response, he says: "Fuck you, dude!"