THE HARD DRIVES

*Written by ALEKS! Adjustments & Corrections by WINN.*

> **June 21, 2014 - 9:30 PM**
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> **The KAMEHAMEHOUSE**
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*BRUT and WINN are in a large room under the KAMEHAMEHOUSE. BRUT can be seen handcuffed to the table and WINN is looking at him in disappointment.*

WINN: I don't have time for this his shit. Tell me where our hard drives are.

*BRUT continuously licks his lips like a retard.*

BRUT: ...What’s the time?

*WINN turns on his phone and glances at it.*

WINN: 9:32, why ask?

BRUT: Well, the new episode of Quintessential Quintuplets airs soon... And depending on the time: The hard drive could be in one place, or several.

*WINN gives off an irritated sigh.*

WINN: OK, I've run out of patience. You could've been a good little shit you know?

*WINN reaches for BRUT's handcuffs and unlocks them.*

WINN: I need some fucking coffee for this shit. Have fun...

*WINN sits up from his chair and starts walking away from BRUT.*

BRUT: Of course. The old good cop, bad cop routine?

WINN: Not exactly.

*WINN looks at the end of the near pitch black room and shuts a door loudly behind him.*

*BRUT quickly becomes bored with his short-ass attention span and begins humming the Bunny Girl Senpai OP.*

*The lights turn on, completely illuminating the room. Behind BRUT is ALEKS wearing a Batman costume.*

*ALEKS slams BRUTS head against the table and then walks in front of BRUT.*

*Chris Hansen can be seen in the other room with WINN, both of them previewing ALEKS and BRUT through surveillance cameras.*

Chris Hansen: Watch, he’s gonna take a seat right over there.

*WINN sarcastically huffs at HANSEN.*

WINN: I couldn't tell at all.

*BRUT rubs his red forehead and grunts in pain.*

BRUT: Ow... Never start with the head, the victim gets all, fuzzy, he can’t feel the nex-

*ALEKS then proceeds to whip BRUT's hand with his belt at full force. BRUT squints his eyes a little and smiles.*

BRUT: ...See...!

ALEKS: You wanted me, here I am.

BRUT: I wanted to see how you would react to my anime... And you didn’t disappoint.

ALEKS: **Where’s the hard drive?!**

BRUT: You’re becoming just like me, you just need time.

ALEKS: Then why do you wanna kill me?

*BRUT begins to start laughing hysterically. He laughs so hard that he ends up shitting his diapers.*

BRUT: I don’t wanna kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to pissing off WINN? No, no, no, you... **YOU. COMPLETE. ME!**

ALEKS: You’re a pedophile that wants to rape lolis.

BRUT: **Don't** talk like one of them, you’re not! You may not realize it now but you’re changing. Cause a stage one weeb is still a weeb.

*BRUT licks his lips for like the hundredth time.*

BRUT: See these casual anime they’ll cast you out the second they get the chance. Do you get it, it’s a bad joke, see you and me... Well we're the same. It’s only matter of time till you crack. See I’m not a pedophile. I just think lolis are cute.

*ALEKS grabs BRUT and hold him upright.*

*WINN, WAHEEB and HANSEN continue to survey ALEKS' interrogation. WAHEEB seems worried about what might happen next.*

WAHEEB: Uh...

WINN: ...This will work.

*ALEKS slams BRUT against the wall.*

ALEKS: I am not a fucking weeb!

BRUT: Not yet, but soon...

*BRUT looks at ALEKS' Rolex.*

BRUT: Ah, it’s almost time.

ALEKS: Until what?

BRUT: The hard drives retard.

ALEKS: Hard drives?

BRUT: Yep, and it’s not mine.

*BRUT looks at the surveillance cameras with a large grin on his face*

*WAHEEB and WINN become increasingly nervous.*

WAHEEB: No...

*WAHEEB turns and looks at WINN worriedly.*

WINN: Wait...

*ALEKS becomes furious and tightens his grip on BRUT.*

ALEKS: **That's it!**

*ALEKS choke-holds brut and flips him onto a table like a fuckin pancake*

ALEKS:

BRUT: **Oooooh HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA LMAO, Bruh, cringe!**

*ALEKS grabs the chair and heads towards the door.*

*WINN begins to shit his pants as he realizes that ALEKS may or may not kill his son.*

WINN: Oh, shit! Chill nigga!

*WINN runs towards the door in a hurried panic.*

WINN: CHILL! ALEKS! THAT'S MY ONLY SOURCE OF WELFAAARE!

*ALEKS walks back to BRUT and slams his head against the wall.*

ALEKS: **WHERE ARE THEY?!**

BRUT: This all about making a choice-

***ALEKS punches BRUT in the face.***

ALEKS: **WHERE ARE THEY?!**

BRUT: Will you save your own hard drive? Or your best friends' entire Yuri collection hes been building up for years!?

*ALEKS begins to **236L** BRUT against the wall repeatedly.*

*BRUT begins to hysterically laugh.*

BRUT: You have **nothing**... **NOTHING** TO THREATEN ME WITH! **Nothing to do with all your strength!**

ALEKS: There are plenty of ways to make you talk besides force.

*ALEKS grabs BRUT again and holds him upright.*

BRUT: Don’t worry, I’m gonna tell you where they are. That’s the point, you’ll have to choose! You can’t get to both. Yours is at 2372 City Centre, and his-

*BRUT points at the surveillance camera. WINN begins sweating immensely.*

BRUT: -Is at 190 Avenue C.

*ALEKS frowns and holds BRUT even higher.*

BRUT: HAHAHAHA, BOOMER!

*ALEKS slams BRUT against the ground and opens the door.*

WINN: OK good, I was literally about to blast the door down. Why the fuck are you dressed like that?

ALEKS: I found the hard drives!

WINN: Where?

ALEKS: Yours is at Avenue C.

WINN: ...That's it?

ALEKS: Well he kept talking about time so there’s probably a bomb or something.

WINN: A fucking what!?

ALEKS: Ya, you might wanna hurry.

*WINN simultaneously thinks about every single Yuri picture he has ever saved on the hard drive.*

WINN: **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-**

*WINN bursts through the house and starts flying at light-speed towards the address.*

WINN: **AAAAAAA**AAAAAaaa*aaaaaaaaaaaaaa........*

*WINN's screaming fades into the horizon with him.*

ALEKS: Ah my ears, eh!

***ONE MINUTE LATER***

ALEKS: **Let's fucking goooo!**

*ALEKS bursts through the KAMEHAMEHOUSE doors.*

ALEKS: I got mine boys! WINN wha-

*WINN can be seen looking down at the floor with a thousand yard stare.*

WINN: That little fucker blew up the building my hard drive was in as SOON as I arrived!

*WINN angrily throws a chair out the window like a maniac.*

ALEKS: Oh... Well I’m gonna just put this back in my computer.

WINN: You lucky motherfucker.

*ALEKS puts the hard drive in the computer and waits for his SUPER ALIENWARE to boot up.*

ALEKS: Hah, here we g-

*ALEKS' monitor is flooded with pictures of Yuri.*

ALEKS: Wait...

*ALEKS starts to screech at the top of his lungs.*

WINN: Oh my fucking Buddha, shut the fuck up!

ALEKS:

WINN: What!?

*WINN looks at ALEKS screen and bares witness all of his own hard saved work.*

WINN: **No fucking way.**

ALEKS: That little shit... **Switched the fucking addresses!**

WINN: **Yes! YES! YEEEEES!**

*WINN yeets out the hard drive from the computer faster than he pulled out of his wife, and instant transmissions to his room.*

*Meanwhile, a manic BRUT is seen chuckling to himself.*

BRUT: Boomer cringe! Boomer cringe! Boomer cringe!

*ALEKS and BRUT were now arch-enemies.*

**The End**