The August Apocalypse

On August 1st, 2020, the entire planet was rocked by a series of natural calamities, starting with the Great Untied Satans of Murica Civil War.

## Beginning

At 12:41am EDT on August 1st, Janley Manley and M Slinccy were executed for opposing the Lamont regime, which saw previously exiled Lamont Slinccy become the supreme overlord of Rebabone. Shortly afterwards, Inez Slinccy committed suicide, and at 12:43am, Xandra murdered SDT, vored Satan Louis, and cancelled the Oliver Show. Oliver, the governor Ohoe, was incredibly enraged at this, and sent 3 nukes into Kektuncy, starting the civil war.

## The Untied Satans of Murica Civil War

After Oliver fired nukes into Kektuncy, 2 struck their targets, decimating Lorenaville and Sexington. The nuke aimed at Rebabone was deflected by Large Pig, but ended up striking Buddha, India instead, obliterating the whole town, and killing Ben Wray. In response, Geg Heffy, the governor of Imahoe, fired a nuke into downtown Column Bus, Ohoe, destroying the whole city. Meanwhile, Iqak and Kektuncy also fired nukes into Ohoe, destroying Toe lentil, Sins in Natti, Z Nah, Date ton, and Find lay's chips. Because of Column Bus being destroyed, Oliver was assassinated, Ohoe's government collapsed, and the state became part of India, called 'East India'. The assassins that killed Oliver then moved to Rebabone, executing Lamont, starting the next phase of the apocalypse.

## Yellowstone

At 1:01am EDT, Large Pig suffered a brain contusion after inhaling the bone marrow of Lamont, and hurled himself into the Yellowstone Caldera at mach 420. This ignited a VEI 69 eruption of the Yellowstone supervolcano, which instantaneously evaporated all of Mountain, Imahoe, Non-Existant, You Tah, and Cauliflower. As a result, a massive pyroclastic flow was released, incinerating almost everything in its path as it sped eastward at mach 7. By 1:09am, the flow had scorched every state except Kektuncy and India, where the spread of the flow was slowed due to efforts by Xandra Abernathy. However, at 1:10am, India was destroyed, and the flows were nearing Rebabone.

## Fat Andres Fault Earthquake

While the pyrocalstic flow was speeding across the Untied Satans, the vibrations from the Yellowstone eruption caused the Fat Andres Fault to rupture, releasing a magnitutde 69.420 earthquake. Almost instantly, half of Caliporno, Ore Gone, and Washing Machine collapsed into the Pasifist Ocean, resulting in a 10 mile high tsunami wiping out most of Brittle Column Bus, Canadia, as well as Axesaw. The tremors were strong enough to be felt in the Floor peninsula, which snapped off and crashed into Cube, creating a new island.

## Saving of Rebabone

Shortly after India was scorched, Lamont and Janley were seen rising over Mt. Slinccy. Shortly after their sightings, a beam of light shot down from Mt. Slinccy into Rebabone, and Janley and Lamont came from within. They united powers with Xandra and Large Pig, uniting the Holy Quarter. Together, the Holy Quartet performed the sacred HNRRR ritual, which caused the pyroclastic flows to subside right at the Rebabone city limits, as well as stopping all eruptive activity from Yellowstone and removing the ashfall across the rest of the country.emoving the ashfall across the rest of the country.

## Aftermath

Afterwards, a gate to Heaven was opened up due to the HNRRR ritual, and it was revealed that Paula Deen was god the whole time, and that god, like Paua Pig, was just a scam. However, massive tsunamis and sea level rise slammed into the coastal areas as a result of 60% of the ice caps being melted by the pyroclastic flows, severely altering the geography. Additionally, only 40% of the Untied Satan's population survived, and many major cities, like New Conk City, Jackoffville, Satan Louis, Lost Angels, Belly Rouge, and Sandy Eggo were completely obliterated and wiped off the map. The Yellowstone caldera had also been drastically expanded and had swallowd up large protions of Non-Existant, Imahoe, Mountain, and You Tah, as well as a sliver of Cauliflower. However, the blast from the eruption was so large that the entire western half of the country had been permanently scorched and made uninhabitable.

## End of the Beginning

At 2:02am EDT, Lamont had a violent vision, reealing tha the Rebabonian calendar ends on August 2nd, 2020, hinting that the events of early on August 1st were only the beginning of the end.