Sergio (Boss)

***"Jala's third grade boyfriend. Overconfident, insecure, macho, needy, and far far far too thirsty.**"*- Introduction

Sergio is the first boss that Jala fights in the Home Skillet diner. He is the introduction to the combat. During combat, the characters may have conversations that reveals Jala's relationship with the other characters or her personality.

## Jala's conversation with Sergio

* Sergio has a crush on Jala ever since their teacher Mrs. Garcia made them project partners in third grade.
* His crush survived puberty and Jala's extremely public on-again off-again romance with Tyler all through high school.
* He tells her that third grade was traumatic for him. His parents got divorced and his dad left town.
* Sergio suggests that they run his dad's used car business in the future but Jala doesn't want to do that.
* When they enter Sergio's inner world, he confesses his love to her, saying that he loved her ever since they touched the same play-doh in third grade.
* At the end of the battle, Sergio apologizes for coming on so strong. He admits that had this fantasy of her for so long and it's time to get to know the real her.
* Jala says that she's glad they figured it out because she needs a favor from him, which is to give her a ride home.

## Attacks

#### Phase 1

Be Mine: Sergio shoots a heart from his hands. He may also kick a heart at Jala.

When Sergio is thirsty, his attacks will become Love Interrupted. This means that his attacks will randomly attack himself or Jala.

#### Phase 2

When Sergio's health is low, he will bring himself and Jala to his Inner World.

Joy Ride: Sergio throws a car at Jala.

Cry With Me: A stronger version of Be Mine. Sergio shoots a heart from his hands.

## Taunts

Jala's first taunt is the Thirsty taunt. The taunt involves Jala sitting on the floor while batting her eyelashes and waving at her opponent.

#### Thirsty

##### Taunt 1

* Jala: Is it weird that I find your daddy issues kinda hot?
* Sergio: My dad IS hot.
* Jala: That's not what I... Uhh, forget it!

##### Taunt 2

Jala: C'mon, Sergio. Try a little harder. You're making it too easy to push your buttons.

##### Taunt 3

Jala: I'd say you're not my usual type... But I like variety.

##### Taunt 4

* Jala: Are we flirting? Or are we fighting?
* Sergio: Why not both?

##### Taunt 5

* Jala: You think it'll tickle if you kiss me with that mustache?
* Sergio: Come closer and find out.

#### Raging

When Jala is teleported to Sergio's inner world, she gets access to the raging taunt. To do a rage taunt, Jala will shake her fist at her opponent.

##### **Taunt 1**

* Jala: Why are you coming on so strong? You that eager to disappoint yet another woman?
* Sergio: What did my mom tell you?!

##### **Taunt 2**

* Jala: Didn't you have a shrine of me in your locker in middle school? The janitor made you throw it out at the end of the semester.
* Sergio: That wasn't a SHRINE. It was a tasteful collection of basketball memorabilia.

## Quotes

#### Before battle

Sergio: You look surprised to see me, Jala. Or are you just admiring the view?

Jala can say:

**1. Is that an invitation?**

* Jala: There's a lot to admire. Are those biceps even real?
* Sergio: O-Oh? Yeah. I've filled out a little. Thanks for noticing.
* Narrator: A LITTLE? He looks like he's been bench pressing Buicks. Maybe even EATING them. What happened to the weedy nerd from Geography Club?

**2. Shut him down.**

* Jala: Neither, actually. I just can't believe you're STILL following me around.
* Jala: I just got off the bus ten minutes ago, dude.
* Sergio: Whoa? Really?! What a weird coincidence!
* Sergio: Must be fate, huh?
* Narrator: Or a testament to the enduring power of Sergio's thirst for you.

**3. Make a joke.**

* Jala: You look ready for a Bollywood close-up and I feel like an extra in a bad horror movie. Way to make a girl feel inadequate.
* Sergio: What No! You look gorgeous. As always.
* Narrator: One of these days we really have to talk about your susceptibility to cheap flattery.

Jala: Soooo, It's been a while.

Sergio: Three years, two months, and fourteen days.

Sergio: Um. Did I just say that out loud?

Sergio: Um. ANYWAY. How's Jennifer?

**1. No Idea.**

* Jala: Probably in Seattle with her new girlfriend.
* Narrator: Or in Hell, with any luck.

**2. Ancient History**

* Jala: Oh her? We broke up a while ago.
* Narrator: Yeah. If six hours counts as "a while".

Sergio: You're single? Seriously?

Sergio: Would you believe I am too?

#### During battle

Narrator: Just remember, Jala... there are no winners in a PSYCHODRAMA BATTLE with your THIRD GRADE BOYFRIEND.

Narrator: Only losers....

Narrator: Just kidding! You could BOTH win the prize of FRIENDSHIP and EMOTIONAL MATURITY. How does that sound?

**1. Actually, kind of nice?**

* Jala: Actually, kind of nice?
* Narrator: Awww. Look. You're growing as a person already.

**2. I'd prefer cake.**

* Jala: I'd prefer cake.
* Narrator: And that's exactly why we're working on your emotional maturity.

**3. That's not a real prize!**

* Jala: That's not a real prize!
* Narrator: Your soul is just a Blue Book filled with gold stars, isn't it?

Sergio: I still think about our first kiss. You remember? On the trip to the Seattle Aquarium in third grade.

Sergio: It was so magical.

Sergio: Our lips touching, bathed in the blue-green light of the tank, surrounded by moon jellies.

**1. Firsts are boring.**

* Jala: Ugh. Why is everyone so obsessed with firsts?
* Narrator: The patriarchy?
* Jala: Right?! And most first times are disappointing anyway.
* Sergio: W-was I disappointing?

**Insult**

* Jala: You had sweaty little hands.
* Sergio: My hands were NOT -- okay maybe they were a little...
* Sergio: I was probably really nervous. That's not the point!

**Flirt**

* Jala: As first kisses go, it was pretty memorable. Though I prefer our second, third, and fourth kisses - Mrs. Garcia had to come pry us out of the Marine Mammals Exhibit.
* Sergio: Oh my god, she was SO mad! but I didn't care.

**2. All first kisses are magical.**

* Jala: Is one kiss more magical than another? They're all special in their own way.
* Sergio: How many people were you kissing in third grade?!
* Jala: As many as I wanted to!

Sergio: Ha. Ha. Of course. I'm not mad. It would be weird if I were mad about that.

**Insult**

* Jala: You've never let that stop you before.
* Sergio: I told you, I've been making all kinds of gains.
* Jala: Ugh. You're seriously overstimating your appeal.

**Flirt**

* Jala: You weren't my first kiss.
* Narrator: No. That was Bobby Singh in kindergarden. She was Jala's romantic peak. She works for Doctors Without Borders now.
* Jala: But you certainly left a lasting impression.
* Sergio: Trust me, I can last as long as you need me to.

**3. I wish I could forget.**

* Jala: You told EVERYBODY in third grade exactly how magical it was. It was mortifiying!
* Sergio: I didn't know it was a secret!
* Jala: I mean... you were such as weedy little nerd back then.
* Sergio: Were you... ashamed of me? Is that why you ignored me all through middle school?

Sergio: You're the only good thing I can remember from that time. We shared something SPECIAL, Jala.

Sergio: And deep down I know you feel the same way too! And I'm not gonna to let you RUIN it!

Sergio: Your dad already loves me. And I can work on your mom!

Sergio: My mom says she sees girls look at me everywhere I go. But you're the only one I have eyes for.

* Jala: Why do medicore dudes think they deserve the world?
* Sergio: Because we run it?
* Jala: Oh. Yeah.

Jala: You really think you have a chance with ME? I'm actually amazing.

Jala: Does your mom still pick out your clothes for you? Or do you just have the same taste?

Sergio: I don't know if I'm attracted to you or scared of you. Kinda both? At the same time?

Sergio: Is that weird? I don't even care.

* Jala: I'm not losing to a guy wearing formal shoes to a diner.
* Sergio: They're Italian leather. I bought them on my year abroad!

Sergio: You turned me down at Prom. I'm not gonna let you turn me down again!

Sergio: Come on, Jala! Isn't it time to take me seriously?

Sergio: You're even more terrifying than my mom, and she's the most awesome woman I know. Can you blame me for being into that?

Sergio: My mom says that I'm irresistible, and my mom is ALWAYS right.

Sergio: Just talk to my mom, she'll tell you why I'm perfect!

* Jala: Your mom clearly didn't teach you proper manners.
* Sergio: HEY! Leave my mom out of this!
* Jala: I would but you KEEP bringing her up.

* Sergio: I'm finally gonna be my dad's favorite son!
* Jala: Aren't you an only child?!

Sergio: All I wanted was your respect. But you don't respect anyone or anything, do you?

Sergio: I've been waiting a long time... to get a few things off my chest!

Sergio: I love you, Jala. I have loved you since our hands met reaching for the same tub of lime-green Play-Doh in third grade.

**1. No, you don't.**

* Jala: Love me? This is the longest conversation we've had in over a decade.
* Sergio: Yeah? And whose fault is that?
* Jala: Uhhh. YOURS? Because you're so CATASTROPHICALLY WEIRD when we DO talk?

**2. That's...sweet.**

* Jala: Um. Thank you?
* Sergio: You're... welcome?
* Jala: Once you like someone... you really stick with it, huh?
* Sergio: I don't get it. You never take me seriously. I'm. Not. Joking.

**3. You have bad timing.**

* Jala: Look, Sergio. I can't even think about that right now. My parents don't even know I'm back home. Everyone in town hates me.
* Jala: And I have literally no idea what I want to do with my life.

Sergio: This thing between us... It's REAL, Jala. And I'm going to PROVE IT TO YOU.

Jala: Your persistence isn't charming. It's creepy.

* Sergio: I get my temper from my mom's side of the family. My cousin actually died of apoplectic rage!
* Jala: Dude! You gotta get into yoga or something.

Jala: It's time for you to leave grade school behind, Sergio!

#### After battle

Sergio: I'm sorry I came on so strong, Jala.

Sergio: I've had this fantasy of you in my head for so long. It's time I got to know the real you.

Sergio: I'm ready to move on if you are.

Jala: I'm glad we figured that out...

Jala: ...Cos I kinda need a favor.