Down to Earth with Zac Efron (Episode 2) - "France" (GAM258)

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Down to Earth with Zac Efron*** (also known as ***The Goop Lab: Testosterone Edition***) is a new travelogue mini-series on Netflix that promises to explore environmental solutions and exotic fruits that cure cancer in equal measures; we specifically watched episode two "France" to make sure Eli could annoy us with his terrible French accent.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we watch another terrible movie so you don't have to.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love *Goop*, but it's all a little too science-based and heady for you, you will *love* this movie. It's like the "ums" on the Joe Rogan podcast got together and made a travelogue—that's this movie… tv show.

### **Best Worst**

* Eli: ...reason to make a tv show. [Zac Efron has a stupid friend.]
* Heath: ...best best cameo from Anna Kendrick. [She just spends her entire time passive aggressively roasting their stupid fucking show.]
* Jonathan: …being the eco-friendly vegan food store you like to go to cause they have really cool stuff, but then you see they have homeopathic arnica, and you're like "Awwww, that's a shame."

### **Notes**

* Check out Jonathan, "the man who continues to replace Noah", on his website, Twitter, or the *Body of Evidence* podcast.
* The maximize TDS (total dissolved solids) recommended by the EPA is five-hundred milligrams per liter.

### **Jokes**

* [Jonathan: And so "Darin Sorbo" tells Zac "There's some real science to all that stuff… that I have distorted and taken out of context and poorly cobbled together in my book that this show is about to plug." And I mean, you know… I don't know who drew the molecules during the explanation about water and oxygen—there's a little infographic that pops up—but H₂O is represented as one big ball with two smaller balls attached to it (that's fine) and O₂ (O₂, the oxygen molecule which is literally two identical atoms of oxygen bound together), it's one big ball attached to one small ball. So, in a nutshell, this pseudoscientific illustration is a summary of what we're about to watch.] (10:37)
* [Heath: So, they finally get this guy back on the couch so they can do the interview; he's still super angry at them, but they're trying to smooth it over. His job is to meet with the people who show up at this shrine claiming a miracle cure happened to them (their cancer went away from some kind of miracle, like holy water) l and he sees about a hundred people a year (it's not the hardest job), and then they explain how the Catholic Church has a rigorous set of criteria for a cure to be considered a real miracle. Can we go though these conditions really quick?] [Jonathan: Yes, please, educate us.] [Heath: Okay, so condition #1: a doctor has to diagnose a real illness, which is great because that just means a whole bunch of people showed up and we're like "Yeah, I had fucking… I don't know, it felt cancery, and now I don't, so..." (great, so they made that rule number one, I guess that's a good one); condition #2: bullshit little stuff doesn't count—you can't just be like "My headache went away. My Morgellon's seems less flared up now" (so I guess that's another good one); condition #3: the illness has to go away instantly, like right on the spot; condition #4: the cure happens instantly… we already said that, okay… uhhh…. I already wrote it down—I wrote it down; condition #5: the person is completely cured instantly—I said it again—I'm going to put my pen down, I'm putting my pen down, were just gonna—we'll edit it later (they don't though); condition #6: the disease can't come back for at least ten years; and condition #7: there can't be any real explanations for it. And that's that guy's job.] (54:20)

### **Interstitials**

* Zac and Devin meet Mr. Netflix (5:33)
* Fart Sommelier at *Mal Odorant* (26:00)
* *Public Servants Slowly Realize I'm Nuts Now with B-List Celebrity* (46:24)
* Jonathan as Jordan Peterson (1:10:55) [Extra]
* How "Hail to the Chief" Saved Heath from Getting Arrested (1:12:19) [Extra]
* Visit the Water Sommelier Restaurant (1:14:53) [Extra]

### **Tropes**

* ~~Christians~~ Woonatics Don't Know How the World Works
* Disappointing ~~Christian~~ Woo Celebrity
* This is YOUR Movie!

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Film on Netflix
* IMDB