Uncle Lance

Taken from 0:20 of Eisler485's Video "Super Dumb Brothers Have Joined The Battle"

## Physical Description

### Skin Color

Skinny

**Character Name** is Uncle Lance.

### ***Not Canon but I was requested to leave it up.***

At the ripe young age of 2 weeks old he was taken on a camping trip. He saw a grizzly bear upon arriving there. As his parents were unpacking he decided he wanted to take its skin and use it as a coat. He wandered off and his parents weren't able to track him down. After a week he was adopted by Moles and lived underground for several years. When he got older the moles couldn't keep them in their burrows any longer as he was too large so they abandoned him. Having no family Lance wandered into town where a recruitment officer for the US Army found and invited him into his home. He provided clothing and food for the 14 year old boy. Lance then went on to join the army as he had no other options. Never learning English Lance was challenged even more to be accepted into society. He could never figure out how to use a rifle yet he used his primal knowledge to form his own weapons. His weapon of choice was a long Lightweight tree commonly used to spear people with, but didn't have a sharp tip rather a Blunt end. As he chose that weapon people deemed him Lance as could not speak. He single handedly won the war. Not for America, for himself. He defeated every soldier on the battlefield. Lance then went on to build a hut on an island near the coast of his last battle, there he saved any refugees or war prisoners and established his own Country. He was like an Uncle to everyone. Thusly he was named Uncle Lance by the natives. After many years the Natives taught him to speak. (This has not yet been confirmed or denied)

## **Character Connections**

* Phil (Nephew)
* Isaac (Nephew
* Jason (Personal Assistant)
* Illuminati Ninja (Sworn Enemy)
* Steven (Phil's Friend)
* Boy 2 (Neighbor)
* Boy 3 (Neighbor)

## **Appears In**

* lancevlog.mov
* Lance Visits DC
* Lance Dew Video
* Jason Debut
* Questions that nobody has ever asked me
* Everyones Favorite Uncle

## **Trivia**

* He's everyone's favorite Uncle
* He's a Chess Grandmaster
* Pope of the Church of Raekwon

## **Quotes**

* Use your boy muscles
* Do you wanna say hello?
* I'm teaching you about nature boy, I'm the real nature boy. (Source)
* See this tree here its made of wood. You wanna know what wood is? On the outside there is bark that means, it's a, it's a relative of the dog. Cuz Dogs bark I'm not sure if you knew that son. (Source)
* It just goes Pfooof. That goes at your enemy, or your target, or whoever, your son maybe. I'm not sure if you have family issues but uh. (Source)
* Sometimes you gotta get a plunger and the handle to just jam it in there. (Source)
* Hold on a minute! They jimmy rigged it. With Maple syrup those DANG CANADIANS! (Source)
* Before I throw my hip out. Like I did in 'Nam. (Source)
* That is the Native American Indians coming in on our location. My bad, it was just geese. (Source)
* I'm sorry Uncle I did not mean to disrupt the peace of your family. Please don't kill me from the afterlife, also known as the retirement home. (Source)
* See these trees boy? These are the sycamore trees of Raekwon the Sun Dragon. Raekwon early on in the stages of development of this new world. Came down and looked at us disgusting human beings and like "They need a tree there." So he with a breath of fire let down a roar down onto. He like. He just went Hah. And all the sudden trees sprouted from the ground. They had wisdom. Each leaf on this tree you eat. You die. But at the same time you receive enlightenment. Suicide is only the answer. To wisdom. (Source)
* Alright you convinced me I wont do the crying. I'm not a fe- I'm not a female. Ow! Although I do like to do my nails that is quite nice. (Source)
* Looks like there are some Illuminati ninjas in there. (Source)
* I'm like Joseph out here with my many colored coat of Flannel. (Source)
* women can try but I dont think they'll succeed because growing facial hair is like driving. (Source)