No Phone Zone!/Transcript

### Cold open

* [The episode begins in an apartment. Orenji's siblings are sitting at the dining table]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** [prays] God is great and God is good. And we thank him for our food. By his hands we all are fed. Thank you, Lord, for our...
* **Tanki Chaneru:** [talking on the phone] Oh my gosh, did you see the one where Rappu and Genka dressed up as Popo and Nana from that Ice Climber game? They're so fricking adorable!
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Tanki, I already told you to put your phone away!
* **Tanki Chaneru:** [still talking on the phone] I swear, if I see those guys dressed up like that, I am literally going to scream so loudly as-
* **Yoru Chaneru:** TANKI!
* **Tanki Chaneru:** Hold on, Leni. [to Yoru] What!
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Tanki, I am trying to be nice and affable. Could you please put down your phone? [Tanki blankly stares at Yoru]
* **Leni Loud:** [on phone] Hello? Are you still here? [Tanki gets back on the phone]
* **Tanki Chaneru:** Oh, sorry about that, Len. As I was saying,... [Yoru groans]
* [Scene cuts to the park]
* **Shijo Chaneru:** Check it out, sis! Watch me ride on my tricycle! [Tanki is texting on her phone. Shijo hops on her big wheel and takes a deep breaths] I've been waiting for this moment. [she looks ahead to the metal fences that get longer and longer in delusion] For the playground kids.
* [Shijo straps on her helmet and screams as she charges her big wheel at the metal fences. As Shijo charges, she slides across the metal fences, hops out of her big wheel, and runs around, cheering]
* **Shijo Chaneru:** Did you see that, sis?! Did you see that?! I finally did it! [Tanki is still texting on her phone, and Shijo groans]
* [Cuts to Tanki watching TV. The phone rings]
* **Tanki Chaneru:** [answers it] Yo.
* **Asobi Manabu:** [on phone, off-screen] Hey, Tanki, you got any books by "Joe Mama"?
* **Tanki Chaneru:** Who is this? [Asobi's laughing is heard on the phone] Wherever this is coming from, I will track you down and I will find you, and I will... [the phone call gets disconnected] Hello? [puts the phone down] UGH! Every flipping time! [folds her arms]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Ahem. [Tanki sees her siblings, who are just standing there with their angry expressions on their faces]
* **Tanki Chaneru:** Oh, hey guys.
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Tanki, I think you've had enough with your phone obsession for months now.
* **Tanki Chaneru:** Oh, what are you going to do about it? Take my phone away?
* **Yoru Chaneru:** No, even worser... [Lights dim on Yoru and scary music plays. Yoru turns off the flashlight she was holding] Shijo, would you charge this flashlight for me? [gives the flashlight to Shijo]

### Main episode

* [Scene cuts to Yoru and Tanki taking a drive out to somewhere]
* **Tanki Chaneru:** So why are we going to Obasan's house again?
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Oh, you know, just to hang out. You can help your aunt clean the house, fix dinner, or even play with your little friends, Ren and Stimpy.
* **Tanki Chaneru:** Uh, yeah, no. I am not doing that type of baby boomer nonsense. Besides, she doesn't have any Wi-Fi ​at her house!
* **Yoru Chaneru:** No worries, she still probably has her AOL.
* **Tanki Chaneru:** [texting on her phone] Uhh, people don't use that kind of junk anymore, you know. [Yoru snatches the phone from Tanki] Hey! I was in the middle of a text with Helga!
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Sorry, Tanki, but this is for your own good. You won't be able to have your phone back until you get your addiction under control. [Tanki crosses her arms. Yoru driving to Obasan's house. She knocks on the door]
* **Obasan Chaneru:** Well, look who's here. It's my favorite niece! [hugs Yoru]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Hey, auntie! Just checking to see how you're doing.
* **Obasan Chaneru:** Oh, we're just doing fine! We're just cleaning up the basement. [hears a crashing noise coming from the house]
* **Ren Höek:** [off-screen] Stimpy, you imbecile! Did you know how much these china plates cost?!
* **Stimpy:** [off-screen] Uhh,... I must say billions and billions of yuan.
* **Obasan Chaneru:** [sarcastically] Unless... you guys want to help.
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Oh, no, I'm fine, but Tanki can! [holds Tanki]
* **Obasan Chaneru:** Eh, the teenagers don't help with housework, but what the heck!
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Sold! Here you go, auntie! She's all yours now! [gives Tanki to Obasan]
* **Tanki Chaneru:** What?! What the heck, Yoru?! You can't do this to me! [Yoru smacks Tanki in the face]
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Be nice. She gets too sensitive, y'know. [to Obasan] Oh yeah, and here's Tanki's phone. [gives Tanki's phone to Obasan] Make sure you hide that phone somewhere safe, so Tanki doesn't find it. You know, she's good at finding stuff, especially her old flip phone.
* **Tanki Chaneru:** But I don't use my flip phone anymore. I already gave it to Shijo, remember? [Scene cuts to Shijo is playing tea party up in her room. The flip phone rings]
* **Shijo Chaneru:** [answers it] Hello?
* **Asobi Manabu:** [on phone, off-screen] Hello, Shijo? Do you have a pet dog named "Joe Mama"? [Laughs. Scene cuts back to Obasan's house]
* **Obasan Chaneru:** Alright, I'll keep an eye on Tanki's phone and hopefully she doesn't come across it.
* **Yoru Chaneru:** Thanks, auntie. I'd better get going now. I'll see you guys later. [walks off]
* **Obasan Chaneru:** Bye, Yoru, take care! [walks back inside] You took quite a reliever there, Tank.
* **Tanki Chaneru:** BUT I NEED MY PHONE TO TEXT MY FRIEND- [Obasan holds her lips]
* **Obasan Chaneru:** We're going to have to hold off on those social media there for a while. How about we do some cleaning?
* **Tanki Chaneru:** [twitches her eyes] Cleaning? Yeah, I like cleaning!
* **Obasan Chaneru:** Alright! The basement is downstairs. Come with me. [Walks with Tanki over to the basement. Scene cuts to the basement] It looks a bit dusty around this corner. How about you sweep it out? [hands Tanki a broom and Tanki walks off] That should do it.
* [Obasan pulls out Tanki's phone, puts the phone on the shelf, and walks out of the basement. Tanki is sweeping the floor with the broom. She turns around and sees that Obasan has left the basement]
* **Tanki Chaneru:** I think she's gone. Now my chance to text Helga! [runs to the shelf]
* [Scene cuts to TBA]