Druids Druids Everywhere

***Druids Druids Everywhere*** (74 min., 2003/2020) is a black and white Motern Media/ShockMarathons movie. It is the final installment of the Druid saga.

It was filmed in the fall of 2002 and early 2003, but not officially released until October 2020 as a special feature on the Gold Ninja Video Bluray release of *Don't Let The Riverbeast Get You!* It was released to streaming service vimeo.com on March 2, 2022.[1]

## Plot

With Farley deprived of the potion of life at the end of *Druid Gladiator Clone*, he leaves his beloved Bri and heads out into the woods, expecting to die, but unaware that the sacred dirt of Cruben County would sustain him. He lives for years in the wilderness--albeit with Woods Insanity--letting his hair and beard grow out, although maintaining good dental hygiene with homemade toothpicks. Meanwhile, local lecturer Charlie, fired and unemployable due to his unproven claims of a secretly powerful Druid society, strikes out into the woods. Farley and Roxburgh meet and after some competitions to show their worthiness, become friends.

Meanwhile, Photographer Johnson (Tom Scalzo) is lured into a trap by the Druids and killed in a test of their new superweapon: a gas--the Vapor of Death--that will kill all humans not in contact with sacred Cruben dirt. Farley and Charlie stumble upon a Druid gathering and learn of the secret plot. They run off to warn their wives carrying some sacred dirt. Unfortunately the rest of the world dies in massive gas attack, leaving the Druids to rule. But Farley and Charlie commence guerilla warfare of their own to take down Druids. A supposedly hapless survivor named Mike finds them, but after refusing to join in Druid-killing activities, is revealed to be a spy.

Druid Warlord Kevin McGee becomes aware of these rebels, and looks forward to a fight. Farley is eventually kidnapped and masked by the Druids. Brought to McGee, he finds that Charlie has also been kidnapped. He refuses to listen to his old master and kill Charlie, who is then speared to death by McGee. McGee mentions that Farley was difficult since he was a baby, alluding to the fact that McGee was likely his father. McGee allows Farley to go free. Farley attempts to kill McGee by throwing a rock but McGee's Druid reflexes are too fast.

Charlie's wife (Mel Chayer) continues to descend into madness, unable to accept that the world as she knew it is gone. Bri continues to cook for Farley daily and read books for enrichment as he continues to fight the Druids.

## Cast

* Matt Farley as Farley
* Charles Roxburgh as Charlie
* Kevin McGee as Druid Warlord Kevin McGee
* Mel Chayer as Mel Chayer (Charlie's wife)
* Bri Henderson as Bri (Matt's wife)
* Mike Tabtabai as Mike
* Kyle Kochan as Kyle the archaeologist
* B. Dan Speake as Dr. Daniel Speake
* Tom Scalzo as Johnson the Photographer (and various Druid appearances)
* John DeMaio as Druid in apartment
* Colleen Kochan, Greg Kochan, Kerry Kochan, Kyle Kochan and Charles Roxburgh as Trick-or-Treaters
* Deborah Kochan as Gives Treats

## Background

While *Druid Gladiator Clone* (2003) had public screenings and a DVD release, its more brooding and black and white follow-up was for years impossible to find. It was filmed in the fall of 2002 and early 2003, not long after Clone was finished.

For a few years, one fan of Motern Media, Rob Love, appeared to be the only fan in the world with a copy, which had been especially burned for him. When some older Motern movies began to be uploaded to YouTube in 2014, Farley and Roxburgh decided to hold off on uploading this one, unsure of what the audience reaction would be. In mid-2020, Farley and Charlie shared the movie with Will Sloan and Justin Decloux of The Important Cinema Club Podcast, and Peter Kuplowsky of Toronto International Film Festival, who liked what they saw. With growing interest in the Motern back catalog of movies, Gold Ninja Video announced the film would be a special feature on their upcoming Blu-ray release of *Don't Let The Riverbeast Get You!*

Trivia: The original working title of the movie was "Druid Epidemic".[2]

## Reception

The movie has been described as surreal and nonsensical, and has been compared to David Lynch movies as *Sammy* has been to The Pit or *Druid Gladiator Clone* has been to superhero movies.

Brandon Ledet of *Filmtrap* ranked the film as a "fans only" film among the Motern catalog.

## Music

"The Digestion Song" by Moes Haven, which appears on *Dislocated Songs* (2004), is played at two points. The credits give the song a copyright date of 2002. The score is also credited to Matt Farley with a copyright date of 2002.

The cover photo of the 2008 album *Mets, Jets & Nets* by The New York Sports Fan is taken from an early scene in the movie, showing Farley standing on a beach holding a rock.

## External links

* Druids Druids Everywhere on IMDB
* Druids Druids Everywhere on Letterboxd
* Don't Let the Riverbeast Get You Blu-Ray at GoldNinjaVideo (sold out)
* Rent or Buy Druids Druids Everywhere on vimeo.com

## References

1. ↑ Ledet, Brandon (17 January 2021). Druids Druids Everywhere (2020) (review), Film Trap