Wok the Plank

Since ancient times, pirates and ninjas have feuded with each other; sometimes wars were started over this rivalry. Or, sometimes, the conflict was merely over what to call the vehicle they were riding on.

Obvious Piratebeard the Pirate had been pirating for practically his entire life, and was very good at it. He had risen through the ranks, eventually becoming Captain of his own ship, the S.S. Gift Shop (After all, what better way is there to plunder riches from others than for it to happen without the victim even noticing it? By running a pirate-themed shop ship, others would simply give them treasure in return for very overpriced merchandise). He had also assembled a skilled pirate crew with weird unpronounceable names, like Can-t:Mouse Ellipsis and Boulflay Shiely.

Captain Piratebeard had reluctantly struck a deal with a mysterious 10-year-old prodigy businessman who promised to pay him handsomely if he allowed the S.S. Gift Shop to be used as a temporary replacement for a ninja tour ship. The Koga Clan of ninjas was in the middle of a worldwide journey collecting and training new ninjas from different countries around the world, but the boat they had been using had sunk (due to the weight of too many ninjas). All they needed was a large ship to finish the trip and make it back to Japan. The businessman had known about the feud between pirates and ninjas, but since he was neither himself, he didn't care and merely went for the most efficient mode of transportation for his clients.

The ninjas needed to feel at home while on the boat as well, so they took the time to convert the S.S. Gift Shop into a half-boat half-dojo. Even the ship's gift shop was split down the middle, selling half pirate goods and half ninja goods. Captain Piratebeard would not have agreed to this had he not been in the market for a newer, bigger ship. Plus he figured he could belittle and possibly even sabotage the ninjas while they were staying on his ship.

The conflict arose when the pirates and ninjas couldn't agree on what to name their new vessel. It was clearly a combination of a dojo and a boat, but the ninjas believed it should be a Do-joat, whereas the pirates believed it should be a Boat-jo (pronounced "bojo").

This argument continued for weeks, even as the ninjas picked up their recruits. Some of the new arrivals on the ship were Georgia Washingcars from Spain, Ing Sing from Iceland, and a mysterious elderly woman from France. These three ended up being some of the strongest advocates for the name Do-joat.

The masked woman was strange; she hid her face and always kept her activities secret, and despite appearing to be in her sixties, she exhibited fantastic ninja abilities.

A practical joke that some of the pirates played on the other side was reminding Washincars of her Spanish heritage. Washincars knew that she was Spanish, but she had been a little embarrassed of it, because there were no other Spanish ninjas. Elipsis in particular liked to anonymously leave boxes by Washincars' room, and when she opened them she would find stereotypical Spanish objects, such as a poncho or maracas. Strangely, every time something like this happened, her accent got stronger and she displayed more Spanish tendencies. Since this was happening so frequently, Washincars eventually embraced it and Incorporated it into her ninja fighting style. By the time the trip ended, she was three times as Spanish as she had been when she left he home in Spain, and she was one of the best ninjas around.

Sing once got so fed up with the pirate insistence on using the term Boat-jo that he bought his own boat for his allies to join him on. However none of the ninjas got on his new boat, because while there were no pirates on it, there was also no dojo.

Elipses once accidentally leaked to the ninjas that the pirates had no style, and this rumor circulated amongst the ninjas in hushed whispers until someone decided to confront the pirates about it. They were proven wrong; Shiely in particular actually had quite a bit of style.

Captain Piratebeard liked to keep his captain's quarters clean, organized, and most importantly, filled with Boat-jo merchandise. So he did not like it at all when he found the mysterious old ninja woman snooping around in there, looking at his secret files and sneaking into his private kitchen (albeit, he wouldn't have noticed her if she hadn't clumsily knocked over a rack of pots and pans, a suspiciously un-ninja-like thing to do...).

After being kicked out of the captain's office, the old woman wanted to have an honorable practice duel with Washincars. Washingcars was a very good fighter, and probably would have won, except she stopped the fight midway through due to a thought that had occurred to her: a way to finally prove the pirates wrong one and for all. If she could show them the word Do-joat in a dictionary, they would have to believe it, they wouldn't have a choice. So Washingcars ran off to her room immediately and started forging an entire dictionary.

Washingcars was so invested in her dictionary plan, she didn't even notice when someone discovered her secret creepy anime doll, which the pirates mercilessly made fun of her for. But she didn't much care, because she was about to win; that is to say, the ninjas were about to beat the pirates once and for all.

And so they did. The pirates no longer had any argument that this vehicle could be called a Boat-jo, when the ninjas had written evidence otherwise (and since history is written by the victors, vehicles of this type would be referred to as Do-joats from then on).

Then, as the Do-joat, as it was now called, neared its final destination, the masked ninja woman revealed her true identity: Indiana Indianapolis, the famed pirate legend. By now, everyone new about Captain Indianapolis and her ship, The Cutter. Although many suspected her to be dead, due to old age, lack of recent activity, and The Cutter itself having been sold to a Mothamerican merchant. But in truth, Indianapolis had heard about this ninja voyage, so she had gone undercover to be a spy for the pirates. However, to done a convincing disguise, she had to actually go through hardcore ninja training, which gave her an appreciation for their lifestyle.

When she heard about the ninja's original ship sinking, she jumped on that property, and used her vast pirate riches she had from years of plundering, and used it to pay a businessman to do whatever he could to convince Captain Piratebeard to accept the ninjas onto his ship, to unite the two cultures and hopefully settle their differences.

Obviously, her plan failed, because the ninjas won this particular dispute.