Episode 10: World Wide Train

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

Josiah and Drew discuss their new idea, World Wide Train.

## Idea Details

* Idea: World Wide Train (verb)
* Creator of idea: Josiah
* Purpose of idea: So what I mean this week when I say World Wide Train is a comprehensive global initiative for higher adult education. I'm talking about a continued education program that allows for a World Wide Train (i.e., training people to be better leaders, better citizens, to brush up on their skills, to remember their resume uh formats and templates, to brush up on their Excel, maybe learn a new skill, anything you might want it will all be available at the World Wide Train Adult Education Center).
* Timetable: No timetable was given. However, it would require the existence of World Wide Train (noun), so it would be sometime after that.
* Idea details:
	+ World Wide Train (verb) will exclusively be held as a night school at first due to being underfunded. It will be unable to house everyone at once but it should work out due to everyone living in different time zones.
		- Josiah: "It's 5 o'clock somewhere; class is in session somewhere."
	+ The World Wide Train Adult Education Center will be a single building where everyone on Earth will go to school. It will not be built to fit everyone at once; it will simply use a community center in southern Calgary. It will be connected to the World Wide Train (noun).
	+ The World Wide Train Adult Education Center will be a great place to meet women.
	+ There will not be a food court in the World Wide Train Adult Education Center, because it is for adults and learning. There will also be no prom or basketball team.
	+ The following occurred off-record:
		- The plan is to act like World Wide Train (verb) is super underfunded and hire like three guys to be the teachers at the World Wide Train Adult Learning Center. Since the entire world is paying tuition to attend World Wide Train (verb), Josiah and Drew will "just pocket all of that money". The courses will all be "just shit you can find in YouTube tutorials". This means that World Wide Train (verb) will be "easy, easy cash" for Josiah and Drew.
		- There will be a printing course, and during the day those printers could potentially be used to print money. World Wide Train (verb) will involve tricking "fuckin' dumb as shit old people that are doing adult learning classes" into scanning and printing money. They won't know what they're doing, "especially if they're from like Ireland or something" since they won't know what Canadian money looks like.
	+ There will be different tiers to the adult education framework:
		- The bottom tier could be as simple as merely learning one skill.
			* This could be as simple as "I want to learn difference between noun and verb" (which is a class that Drew will teach), "how to do simple math", or something fun like finger-painting.
			* This tier will be available for the low price of $75 WWD per month.
		- The top tier will be an option to make education the central framework of your being. This is referred to as World Wide Train Something.
			* Under this program, Josiah and Drew will be in control of your income. They will choose most ideal and direct way for you to ensure that your money is spent properly, in terms of nutrition, in terms of bill payment, finance management, entertainment of course, and planning for the future. With Josiah and Drew in charge of your finances, you will sleep in cots they provide, you will work for them, you will live with them, and you will live the best version of yourself as you learn and walk through this life in the World Wide Train Adult Education Center.
			* People subscribing to this option will be called Lifers. They will be required to leave the World Wide Train Adult Education Center during the day because the southern Calgary community center where it takes place will be rented out to a senior's home to do their extracurricular activities.
			* Some courses taught to Lifers in the top tier program include history or a class about looking at Shakespeare through the lens of The Beatles.
				+ This class focuses on how everything is about Shakespeare in the end. For example, it was revealed that *Hey Jude* is about *Hamlet*, *Eleanor Rigby* is about *Hamlet*, *Back In The U.S.S.R.* is about *Hamlet*, *Dear Prudence* is about *Hamlet*, *Glass Onion* is about *Macbeth*, *Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da* is a direct quote from *Hamlet*, and *Wild Honey Pie* is about pussy which probably appears somewhere in Shakespeare.
			* This tier was originally named World Wide Train Something, but was re-titled during the episode.
	+ World Wide Train (verb) will not be funded by the government; it will be funded strictly by the students and "adult" bake sales.
		- These "adult" baked goods would be made with marijuana or tobacco or Viagra, as a few options.
		- They could also be made with different amphetamines for the adult students that Josiah and Drew want to succeed.
	+ You will not receive a G.E.D. from World Wide Train (verb); it should be thought of as a pathway.
	+ There will be a prisoner work program known as Printerns (prisoner interns helping with the printing) helping out as techs, in addition to the three paid employees.
		- The Printerns will help field questions and would hopefully not get into any gang-related stabbings. They would also help keep the old people in check as they try to navigate the complicated world of counterfeit money.
		- The Printerns would be grouped in a 75-25 gang-to-gang ratio for each shift to keep an underlying threat of violence permeating the air.
		- The students would be armed to prevent any perceived gang violence while counterfeiting money at school.
		- Once you serve your time in prison, you get to become a Printern. Among the cellmates, becoming a Printern is the highest glory.
	+ An earlier point was clarified that the World Wide Train Adult Education Center would not in fact be a kind of rec center during the day, but would rather be a 24/7 night school since people would be taking the World Wide Train (noun) to the World Wide Train (verb) from different time zones where it is night in those time zones.
		- Because of this, the Printerns would always be at the World Wide Train Adult Education Center instead of prison. They will have to eat everything from the adult home ec class, whether they made food or friendship bracelets on that particular day.

## Devil Play

* Drew asked how the old people will be able to operate the money printing machines, noting that they will be asking constant questions. This will require more than only three people on staff - likely at least 15 techs, depending on how many printers.
	+ Josiah pointed out that the old people will be paying World Wide Train (verb) to be there, and that there would also be a prisoner work program helping out as techs. These would be known as Printerns (prisoner interns helping with the printing) and would be in addition to the three paid employees. The Printerns will help field questions and would hopefully not get into any gang-related stabbings.
	+ Drew suggested that the Printerns be grouped by gang so there would not be conflicting gangs working the same shift. His fear was that if two rival gangs are working the same shift, then things could go south real bad.
	+ Josiah countered to say that, while that was his first instinct, he realized that you have to have a tiny bit of animosity to keep the spark alive in the classroom. With that in mind, he proposed a 75-25 gang-to-gang ratio among the Printerns to help the senior citizens counterfeit Canadian money in their adult education school.
	+ Drew asked if the Printerns would be armed in an effort to maintain their position of authority above the students.
	+ Josiah countered that the Printerns would be in shackles that they carry around the classroom and noted that being a Printern comes with its own robust responsibility. However, to keep the power balance at play, they will arm the students. The Printerns will have been working out in the jailyard for many years, plus they are buff, angry, underfed, pissed off, and ready and raring to go. That is why the old people will be armed at every second. However, only every other old person will be armed with a real gun; the others will have prop guns.
	+ Drew noted that they would need to figure out the chemistry between the Printerns and consider whether some of the other senior citizens going to the World Wide Train (verb) were also gang members.
	+ Josiah pointed out that such a scenario would be impossible because the Printerns are seen as holding a position of glory among other prisoners, and they would live at the World Wide Train Adult Education Center to facilitate the 24/7 night school.
		- Note: it is unclear how this would help with Drew's concern in any way.
	+ With this, Drew admitted that World Wide Train (verb) was quite a good idea and had a good name.

## Notable Events

* This episode took on cancel culture with the introduction of its natural opposite: Signing Up.
* Josiah restated the Loco-Motive in saying that the central piece/Iron Man glowing heart orb of Globe Hell Warning is World Wide Train (noun).
* Drew revealed that Josiah is his best friend and nothing can ever tear them apart and he will never turn his back on Josiah.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "World Wide Train (noun) will bring you to World Wide Train (verb)."
	+ See World Wide Train (disambiguation) for clarity.
* "Train is an action word verb: learn. Train is a noun: train drive gun drive."
* "I didn't realize you were fuckin' dumb as a pile of dog shit roasting in the sun - regarding this one particular issue."
* "*Hey Jude* is of course a reference to *Hamlet*, and Eleanor Rigby is of course *Hamlet*, and then Romeo and Juliet are both *Hamlet* as well."
* "I don't have Logic. I'm using GarageBand."
* "It's kind of a good-cop-bad-cop thing, but it's bad-guy-bad-guy."
* "If you wanna have it so that the senior citizens who are counterfeiting money with a group of 75% one gang, 25% another gang Printerns - if you want them to be fully armed and able to kill at the slightest inclination, we could do that. I don't mind."

### Drew

* "Irish has never seen Canadian money."
* "I think education is important. I think it can be a wonderful thing in someone's life. Just not mine."
* "Are the baked goods themselves like erotic in nature? Are they sexual sexual baked goods? Like pee-pee boo-boo."
* "Are we going to arm the Printerns?"

## Trivia

* This was the second World Wide Train idea discussed on Globe Hell Warning, after Episode 1: World Wide Train.
* This was the second World Wide school that Josiah proposed, following World Wide High School, which was notably vetoed by Drew in that episode.