Sonic Drive-In with Matt Apodaca

"Dogdoughbarkfest: Sonic Drive-In with Matt Apodaca" is Episode 321 of *Doughboys*, hosted by Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger. "Dogdoughbarkfest: Sonic Drive-In with Matt Apodaca" was released on October 7, 2021.

## Synopsis

Matt Apodaca (*What's With These Homies Talkin' About Weezer*, *How Did This Get Played?*) joins the 'boys to kick off Dogdoughbarkfest with a review of Sonic Drive-In. Plus, another edition of Let Me Be Frank.

## Nick's intro

"*I can't talk about the reason now, but I hope I can talk about it when the time comes. I may retire.*"

This was part of a June 2021 Twitter post by legendary video-game developer Yuji Naka, as translated by Polygon, following the critical and commercial disaster of his most recent project, that half-baked 3-D platformer, *Balan Wonderworld*. If it is, in fact, an early curtain call for Naka, it closes out a career that includes as the highest of highlights: programming and co-creating, along with character designer Naoto Ohshima and level designer Hirokazu Yasuhara, one of the most famous franchises in gaming history: a platformer starring a speedy blue hedgehog with a bad-boy 'tude.

Released by Sega in 1991, *Sonic the Hedgehog* boasted fine-tuned physics and a remarkable sense of speed, as well as a cooler, edgier tone that contrasted with competitor Nintendo's friendly first-party offerings. Sequels would follow in rapid succession - first, introducing beloved characters like Tails and Knuckles, then later as the franchise stagnated, less-beloved editions like Cream the Rabbit and Charmy Bee (the bloated roaster eventually nicknamed by its fandom as "Sonic and His Shitty Friends").

The franchise would start to struggle as games transitioned from two dimensions to three around the turn of the century, and the series' nadir is widely considered to be the 2006 bomb simply titled *Sonic the Hedgehog*, which included a cringe-inducing dramatic beat where the anthropomorphic blue hedgehog shared a passionate kiss with a human woman. Naka had resigned in mid-production, ending his affiliation with the character.

And by pure coincidence, the franchise Naka co-created and oversaw shares a name with a fast-food franchise similarly associated with speed (as well as rings; gold and onion, respectively), distinctive footwear (over-sized red sneakers and roller skates), and of course, chili dogs (eating and serving).

Founded in Oklahoma in 1953 by Troy Smith as a hot-dog and root-beer stand; in 1956, Smith brought on board Charles Pappe, and in 1959, the duo re-branded their budding chain to share a name with the blue blur, adding the slogan "Service with the Speed of Sound." Featuring hyper-efficient roller-skating carhops and centered on in-car dining, the chain's grilltop classics and frozen sweet treats became foodie favorites in the South and Midwest, and in the '90s and 2000s, just as the Hedgehog was making a splash, the Drive-In expanded nationally.

Today with 3500 locations across the US, its profile elevated by a memorable series of TV commercials starring comedian TJ Jagodowski and Peter Grosz, this drive-in eatery has made an impact as enduring as the Hedgehog with which it shares a name.

This week on *Doughboys*, we begin **Dogdoughbarkfest 2021**, a month-long grillebration of hot dogs and pet dogs, with Sonic Drive-In.

## Statement from The Commissioner

Commissioner Susser makes a statement, laying out the rules for Dogdoughbarkfest 2021.

* Rule #1: Even though this is a theme month and not a Tournament, there are rules.
* Rule #2: This is hot-dog month, not burger month. The restaurants must be evaluated on hot dogs, sides, and drinks only. NO BURGERS.
* The Susser Addendum: Sometimes a burger is allowed - if it is flattened hot-dog meat on a burger bun, that is fine; so is burger meat in a tubular shape.
* Rule #3: Even though this is not a Tournament, the chain Pink's is disqualified.
* Rule #4: Even though this is not a Tournament, the Commissioner is still in charge. However, his new title is Top Dog Evan Susser.
* Rule #5: No cats allowed! They are banned from the podcast for the month. Wolly and Irma can only be discussed as dogs, and referred to as Woofy and Grrma.
* Rule #6: If there is no veggie option, Nick just eats an empty bun (this is called "going millennial").

## Fork rating

* Peach Bellini Slush
* Hot Dog Bun
* Hand Made Onion Rings
* Mozzarella Sticks
* Ched 'R' Peppers
* Tots
* Cheese Fries
 Mike Mitchell
* All-American Dog
* Footlong Quarter Pound Coney
* Corn Dog
* Hand Made Onion Rings
* Mozzarella Sticks
* Ched 'R' Peppers
* Tots
* Broccoli Cheddar Tots
* Oreo and Reese's Peanut Butter Master Shake
 Matt Apodaca
* Cherry Limeade Slush
* All-American Dog
* Chili Cheese Coney
* Corn Dog
* Jumbo Popcorn Chicken
* Tots
* Ched 'R' Peppers

**Mitch's Loser of the Dogs** went to the Footlong Quarter Pound Coney. **Spoonman's Bite of the Night** went to the All-American Dog.

**Nick's Sip of the Trip** went to the Peach Bellini Slush.

**Matt's Munch of the Lunch** went to the Chili Cheese Coney.

With these scores, Sonic Drive-In qualifies for the Platinum Plate Club. Mitch says a few times this was not a full review of the restaurant, but they do welcome it to the Platinum Plate Club at the end, so it is canon.

## Let Me Be Frank 🌭📰

That's right! It's time to review this week in hot-dog news in another edition of Let Me Be Frank.

Grit on my grill gettin' greasy and gritty
Toast bun, don't it look pretty
Suckin' on a dog like you're suckin' on a titty
Pork and beef sausages and long bread
Rollin' on a roller grill, must've been relish

One bite, it's a different world
Swap dog bites with a girl
Munch on, munch on, and chomp all night
Despite the farts, it'll be alright
That taste when the casing has snapped
Later that day, you'll for sure have to nap
As it simmers in the city
Like you're suckin' on a titty

Frying all the time
You ain't nothin' but a hot dog
Frying all the time
You ain't never been a burger
And you ain't no lunch of mine

They said you a sandwich
Well, no, that was just a lie
Yea, they said you a sandwich
Well, that was just a lie
You're just a bun around a wiener
So you sure don't qualify*

I'm only happy when I'm hot-dog eating
And though I may not be consuming meats
Then I'm only happy when I'm Frank*

You have to understand. Most of these hot dogs are not ready to be eaten. They are raw and many of them will be sitting on the shelves, so hopelessly passed by other customers that they will never be eaten.

Are you listening to me, Wigey-o? Or were you looking at that hot dog in the brown bun?

"I was."

Look again. Freeze it.

"This isn't the Franktrix, buddy?"

No. It's another Franktrix training program designed to teach you one thing. If you eat one of them, you aren't eating a hot dog at all.

"What are they?"

Vegan hot dogs. They can move in and out of any barbecue throughout the summer cookout season. That means, anyone who eats one isn't eating a hot dog. Inside the Franktrix, they are made for everyone, but really for no one. We have survived by not eating them, by pretending to be full. But they are seen as a good gesture. They are bought to every barbecue as a meatless option. They are seen as progressive, which means sooner or later, someone must eat them.
"Someone?"

I won't lie to you, Wigey-o. Every single person and even animal who has stood their ground, everyone who eaten a vegan hot dog has not enjoyed it. But where they have failed, you will succeed.

"Why, buddy?"

I've seen a vegan dog topped with cole slaw. Men have emptied out entire mustard bottles on them and they still taste bad, yet their condiments and buns are still based on a world that is built on meat. Because of that, they will never be prepared for the likes of you.

"What are you trying to tell me, buddy? That I can eat them?"

No, Wigey-o. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you will swallow them whole.

"I mean. You know I can do that."

In this segment, Mitch searches Google for 'hot dog' and discovers the latest news about hot dogs. They then discuss!

First, Mitch finds an article from *Boston Magazine* called "What's a Massachusetts Style Hot Dog, and Why Haven't We Heard Of It?". Mitch says there isn't one, though the article indicates it's the Fenway Frank. LA has bacon-wrapped street dogs.

The next article is about a guy who drives a hot-dog hearse.

Mitch also notes an article about a popular Houston hot-dog cart opening a real restaurant (Yoyo's) and one about Portillo's filing to go public.

Next Mitch reads an article about the Dallas Cowboys adding "sumo hot dogs" to their stadium menu.

He glances at a CNN article about stopping eating hot dogs ("Fuck you!" "Get off my back!" they yell at CNN.) They're similarly upset at a NY Post story about how eating hot dogs takes time off your life, and then are grossed out by this story and bummed out by this one.

On a happier note, Mitch finds this fun idea: hot dog-inspired Bloody Mary kits.

Lastly, they discuss if ketchup goes on a hot dog, via this article. Mitch says it is good, but Nick and Matt are more neutral.

Mitch does a quick mention of a few others, including this and this (sacrebleu!).

## Quotes

**Nick**: That's exciting. I think Matt Damon should canonically be an Affleck. That makes everyone's lives easier.
**Mitch**: Yup.
**Nick**: So is the Aflac duck's name Duck Affleck?
**Mitch**: Yea.

## The Feedbag

 Mike Mitchell
 Matt Apodaca

## Photos

Tots, Jumbo Popcorn Chicken, Corn Dog, All-American Dog, Chili Cheese ConeyCheese FriesChed 'R' PeppersHot Dog BunHand Made Onion RingsCranberry LimeadePeach Bellini SlushHand Made Onion RingFootlong Quarter Pound ConeyAll-American DogMozzarella SticksChed 'R' PepperCorn DogTotsBroccoli Cheddar TotsCherry LimeadeOreo and Reese's Peanut Butter Master Shake