Soft gay john x alpha male dave

soft gay john was a mistake made by TM and OL and this conversation happened ((ft talking about balls torture))

**CTG RIGHT NOW opened memo on board WANT TO MAKE A NEW CHUM.**

**CTG: yo**

**CURRENT loudBrains [CLB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

**CLB: oh ok**

**CLB: yp**

**CLB: yo\***

**CURRENT abyssalDepths [CAD] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

**CAD: [wait wait wait, what if we named animals with the sound they make]**

**CLB: mau?**

**CURRENT timaeusTestified [CTT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

**CTT: He's just some guy sitting around 'n chilling, Sometimes pisses off Twilight for understandable reasons, sometimes not.**

**CURRENT softgayJohn [CSJ] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

**CSJ: oh hi dave!!**

**CTG: heya**

**CLB: mau is an egiptyan name for cat**

**CAD: [oh, amazing]**

**CSJ: <3**

**CLB: so they just name a new animal "meow"**

**CLB: also can i throw my fav song?**

**CTG: i cant think about that show because of this thing i saw in my bros meme folder**

**CAD: [Yes]**

**CTT: To be fair, where do you think the idea of naming the dinosaurs "dinosaurs" came from? An urban dictionary sent from the past?**

**CSJ: what did you see?**

**CGC ceased responding to memo.**

**CTG: well uh**

**CTG: im just gonna tell you its very traumatizing**

**CTT: More importantly, what sounds would dinosaurs have actually made? We weren't around to judge. And even if we were, we'd be completely braindead to a concerning amount.**

**CAD: [was it porn Dave]**

**CTG: yes**

**CSJ: oh god.**

**CAD: [ouch]**

**CURRENT loudBrain [CLB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

**CLB: https://youtu.be/KmrRGxxCYrc**

**CTT: Oh fuck.**

**CTT: Cavetown.**

**CTG: oh that song is a vibe**

**CLB: https://youtu.be/KmrRGxxCYrc**

**CLB: here**

**CLB: fuck my internet**

**CLB: fucking lag about 1 minute**

**CLB: ye**

**CBR ceased responding to memo.**

**CSJ: (( i love how nobody is questioning "soft gay john" ))**

**CLB: ((what))**

**CSJ: (( my handle! ))**

**CTG: (( that was my first thought ))**

**CLB: ((wait what))**

**CTG: (( i just thought "the fuck is this" ))**

**CSJ: (( john but softer and gayer ))**

**CLB: ((what the funk))**

**CSJ: (( correct reaction ))**

**CAD: ((I was too busy questioning how/why dirk would know about my singing monsters lmao))**

**CLB: ((isnt john already soft gay?))**

**CSJ: (( he is not gay but he is somewhat soft ))**

**CSJ: (( this john is soft gay ))**

**CTG: (( soft gay uwu boy john ))**

**CSJ: (( holy shit ))**

**CSJ: (( noooo ))**

**CAD: ((blursed))**

**CDF ceased responding to memo.**

**CTG: (( hold on im opening gacha club ))**

**CSJ: (( hooollyyyy shiiiiiiiit ))**

**CSJ: (( what have i done ))**

**CAD: ((oh no gacha (jk i use it a smol bit)))**

**CLB: ((what)**

**CTG: soft gay uwu boy john is canon now**

**CSJ: uh...**

**CLB: no**

**CLB: noo**

**CLB: nu**

**CAD: [No Dave no]**

**CLB: unu**

**CLB: i will take moist from your bones with my own hands**

**CSJ: um...what?**

**CTG: (( i regret this already ))**

**CLB ceased responding to memo.**

**CAD: [give me your calcium, Dave Strider from the hit webcomic Homestuck]**

**CLB: what?**

**CTG: no its my calcium**

**CSJ: what the fuck.**

**CLB: what fuck?**

**CURRENT terminallyCapricious [CTC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

**CTC: HuH?**

**-- CURRENT abyssalDepths [CAD] forcibly takes Dave Strider from the hit webcomic Homestuck's calicium --**

**CLB: what?**

**CTT: Hey.**

**CTG: NOOOOO**

**CSJ: no!!!**

**CTG: MY CALCIUM**

**CSJ: it's his calcium, don't steal it!!!**

**CGT ceased responding to memo.**

**-- CURRENT abyssalDepths [CAD] eats the calcium --**

**CAD: [Im]**

**-- CURRENT abyssalDepths [CAD] fuck --**

**CTC: Im ReAl FuCkIn CoNfUsEd**

**CTT: Trust me, it's better off not knowing anything.**

**CAD: [I'll take yours too SJ]**

**CSJ: no!!!!!**

**CTG: please give my calcium back**

**CTG: i beg you**

**CTT: Because even I don't know anything and it's still horrifying.**

**CTC: AiGhT ThAtS VaLiD**

**CSJ: (( AD steals johns milk 2020 colorized ))**

**CTT: Mhm.**

**CTC: HoNk**

**CAD: (([asmr] i steal all ur milk))**

**CTG: (( this is why everyone hates our fandom ))**

**CDF ceased responding to memo.**

**CAD: [((This is why i left homestuck))]**

**CTC: So WhAtS EvErYoNe DoIn OtHeR ThAn... WhAtEvEr ThE FuCk ThIs Be**

**CLB: talking about beans**

**CSJ: i honestly...**

**CSJ: don't know.**

**CTC: WhAt ArE BeAnS?**

**CAD: [N y a !]**

**CLB: bean**

**CGC ceased responding to memo.**

**CLB: 🅱eans**

**CTG: (( beans ))**

**CSJ: they are like these little things that taste delicious.**

**CTG: haha beans**

**-- CURRENT abyssalDepths [CAD] sneaks away to steal johns milcc --**

**CSJ: (( which milk ))**

**CTC: ThAt DoNt Be ExPlAiNiN MuCh BuT AiGhT**

**CSJ: (( what is its source ))**

**CTG: i... finished it**

**CTG: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/706928472957780028/738769550052687962/unknown.png**

**CSJ: oh dear god.**

**CSJ: dave, what the fuck is this??**

**CTG: im actually crying**

**CTC: WhAt ThE FuCk Is ThAt**

**CLB: NO**

**CLB: NO DAVE NO**

**CLB: AAAAAAA**

**CTG: i found this in your basement**

**CLB: WHY DAVE**

**CAD: [You shouldve ahoge'd him]**

**CTC: YoU \*WhAt?\***

**CTG: (( I FORGOT THE CAT EARS ))**

**CTG: (( hold on ))**

**CSJ: this was in my basement??**

**CSJ: i don't have a basement.**

**CTG: uhh**

**CTG: well now you do**

**CTC: AlL My BaSeMeNt GoT Is OnE Of ThEm GaMe MaChInEs ThAt MaKeS ShIt**

**CTC: Be UsIn It Ta MaKe AlTeRnIaN FaYgO**

**-- CURRENT abyssalDepths [CAD] gives john a basement and puts the image there --**

**CTC: HoNk HoNk**

**CDF ceased responding to memo.**

**CTG: (( I MADE IT WORSE ))**

**CTG: (( https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/706928472957780028/738770179319791715/unknown.png ))**

**CSJ: oh my god.**

**CAD: [you improved it\*]**

**CSJ: what is this even meant to be??**

**CLB: Oh**

**CTG: youre in gacha heat john**

**CLB: soft gay uwu lohn**

**CSJ: gacha?**

**CLB: john\***

**CSJ: you mean like those games?**

**CTC: 'M So FuCkIn TiReD**

**CTG: yeah**

**CSJ: why am i in them??**

**CTG: no fucking idea**

**CSJ: and why i have cat ears??**

**CTC: TaKe YoUr FlUsHeD FlIrTiN SoMeWhErE ElSe**

**CTG: this isnt romantic**

**CTG: 100% platonic**

**CSJ: what?**

**CTG: quadrant shit with the trolls i guess**

**CSJ: dave, our relationship is the opposite of platonic.**

**CAD: ((I bet you i can make a more cursed Gacha Club SJ))**

**CTG: (( alpha wolf bad boy dave ))**

**CSJ: (( oh shit never make that a thing ))**

**CTC: DaVe YoUvE BeEn KnOwIn KaRkAt N Tz FoR OvEr A SwEeP N YoU StIlL HaVeNt PiCkEd Up On TrOlL QuAdRaNtS N ShIt?**

**CLB: i want tp die**

**CTG: quadrants are confusing**

**CAD: [((Im gonna make it a thing))]**

**CSJ: ok, so from what i remember, uh..**

**CSJ: the red one is like, normal love?**

**CURRENT conceptionalEntity [CCE] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

**CCE: They really aren't, Dave.**

**CSJ: and the black one is hate, but love??**

**CAD: ((Time to make a c u r s e d . g a c h a . d a v e))**

**CSJ: i don't really get it.**

**CLB: Black is a hate lovee**

**CSJ: the pale one is like, friends?**

**CCE: Rivalry.**

**CSJ: but more?**

**CLB: diamond is a frienship**

**CSJ: and then the last one is like, uh..**

**CSJ: mediating?**

**CTC: AsHeN**

**CLB: making black one less hatefull**

**CTC: KeEpS TwO MoThErFuCkErS FrOm KiLlIn EaChOtHeR In A PiTcH QuAd**

**CSJ: okay?**

**CTG: thats very confusing**

**CLB: no its not**

**CTC: NoT ReAlLy**

**CTC: HuMaNs ArE JuSt StUpId**

**CLB: even stoner understands more than you**

**CLB: also this was very rude**

**CTC: FuCk YoU I AiNt On ThAt ShIt AnYmOrE**

**CSJ: well, he was raised with them.**

**CLB: \ \_ /**

**CTG: exactly**

**CSJ: i find the quadrants weird too.**

**CSJ: well, besides the red one, that's easy to understand.**

**CTC: HuMaN QuAdRaNtS ArE WeIrD As ShIt N I Be FeElIn SoRrY FoR ThOsE WhO GoTtA DeAl WiTh ThAt**

**CTG: theres not even quadrants**

**CTC: YeAh CaUsE YoU MiX AlL FoUr InTa OnE N ItS WeIrD**

**CLB: i mean love is just friendship with extra steps**

**CCE: I w42 distracted, you insulted human intelligence?**

**-- CURRENT abyssalDepths [CAD] i made the dave... --**

**CTC: HuMaNs ArE SqUiShY N StUpId N CoNfUsInG**

**CTG: send it oh my god**

**CSJ: no, humans don't HAVE quadrants.**

**CTG: yeah**

**CLB: you can remove all quadrants except red and pale ones and BOOM human love and friendship**

**CCE: I agree with 2 of those things.**

**CSJ: you just like each other and that's it, i guess.**

**CCE: But stupid?**

**CTC: ThE PaLe QuAd AiNt JuSt FrIeNdShIp 'S MoRe ThAn ThAt**

**CTC: 'S StIlL A ReLaTiOnShIp JuSt NoT OnE WhErE YoU PaIl**

**CCE: Pale quadrant isn't really frendishi- oh, too slow.**

**CTC: 'S LiKe. YoU CaN HaVe MoRe ThAn OnE FrIeNd BuT NoT MoRe ThAn OnE MoIrAiL**

**CSJ: i'm not listening to any of this, you know.**

**CSJ: it is kind of boring.**

**CGO ceased responding to memo.**

**CTC: FuCk YoU**

**CLB: well, its red but without romatics**

**CTC: KiNdA**

**-- CURRENT abyssalDepths [CAD] https://64.media.tumblr.com/ef796d8b4f06bba3a279175cfa0c5cd1/de3a3a6a3b336803-eb/s1280x1920/a8490e08382a86267a97056515a21e6eb3ba7b91.jpg --**

**CSJ: (( oh jesus fuck its shit ))**

**CSJ: (( he looks stoned ))**

**CLB: ((what))**

**CTG: (( LMAOOO ))**

**CLB: ((4/10))**

**-- CURRENT abyssalDepths [CAD] i tried --**

**CTC: FuCk 'M TiReD**

**-- CURRENT abyssalDepths [CAD] kinda --**

**CTC: I HaTe HuMaNs FuCkEd Up SlEeP ShIt**

**CTT: Oh.**

**CSJ: what?**

**ceased responding to memo.**

**CLB: who?**

**CDF ceased responding to memo.**

**CTG: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/706928472957780028/738774115875291206/unknown.png**

**CSJ: oh god.**

**CLB: ((7.5/10))**

**CAD: [oh]**

**CAD: [fuck]**

**CSJ: why does he have cat ears?**

**CTG: i am the alpha male**

**CTG: (( IM CACKLING ))**

**CTC: YoU WhAt**

**-- CURRENT abyssalDepths [CAD] im still not the best at making gacha chars so thats probably why mine sucks --**

**CTC: ThE FuCk DoEs ThAt EvEn MeAn**

**CTG: im cryinh**

**CTG: what have i mad**

**CTG: made\***

**CCE ceased responding to memo.**

**CSJ: yeah, what HAVE you made??**

**CSJ: what the hell is this??**

**CTC: I ThInK 'M GoNnA TaKe A NaP**

**CTG: aight**

**CTC ceased responding to memo.**

**CTG: i regret everything**

**CSJ: why?**

**CLB: i thignk im dead**

**CTG: those images are cursed**

**CSJ: haha, yeah, they are.**

**CVO ceased responding to memo.**

**CTG: im genuinely crying over those**

**CSC ceased responding to memo.**

**CSJ: wait, seriously??**

**CTG: yeah**

**CSJ: please don't cry, it makes me sad. :(**

**CSJ: unless it is like, laugh-crying?**

**CSJ: cry-laughing.**

**CSJ: or tears of joy.**

**CLB: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPSWsz2R6Xc**

**CTG: tears of pure pain**

**-- CURRENT softgayJohn [CSJ] gives his gayfriend a hug --**

**CLB: say no homo bitch**

**CSJ: what??**

**CSJ: no.**

**CSJ: i am not going to say no homo, because this is..**

**CSJ: yes homo?**

**CTG: this is pure gay now**

**CSJ: is that a th-**

**CSJ: yeah, that.**

**CSJ: that's a much better way of putting it.**

**CTG: much homo**

**CDF ceased responding to memo.**

**CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

**CTA: hii**

**-- CURRENT softgayJohn [CSJ] does numerous homo interactions with dave strider --**

**CSJ: hi!**

**CTA: wow ok**

**CTA: thii2 tiim ii'm not even gonna que2tiion iit.**

**CTA: tiime\*))**

**ceased responding to memo.**

**CAD ceased responding to memo.**

**CSJ: why would you question it in the first place?**

**CSC ceased responding to memo.**

**CTG: this is probably the most gay thing you've ever seen**

**CLB: nah**

**CTT ceased responding to memo.**

**CLB: i already have a mirror**

**CTG: that was unexpected**

**CLB: like me**

**CSJ: wow.**

**CLB: thats what my mom said when i was born**

**CTG: thats sad**

**CTG: (( off topic but there's someone with the name ballstorture ))**

**CLB: ((yep))**

**CURRENT abyssalDepthss [CAD] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.**

**CAD: ((ew))**

**CLB: ((my dude ballTorture))**

**CAD: ((Your head is a ball))**

**CGC ceased responding to memo.**

**CSJ: (( yeah they become "CBT" when they talk in the memo))**

**CTG: (( LMAOOO ))**

**CLB: ((Oh wow))**

**CAD: ((hrm, bad))**

**CTG: (( i need to see them talk atleast once ))**

**CTG: as a child i was forced to eat dog food for dinner**

**CAD: ((Plot twist: they're a spammer))**

**CTG: (( NOOOOOO ))**

**CLB: oh**

**CAD: wait wHAT**

**CAD: ((Yes))**

**CLB: dog food is good**

**CTG: you get used to it**

**CLB: ((FUCK I GOT KETCHUP ON MY LAPTOP**

**CSJ: (( WHAAAAAT ))**

**CSJ: (( theyre a spammer? ))**

**CSJ: (( i feel so betrayed ))**

**CTG: (( i bet they'd spam the cbt article ))**