Chapter 2: Those Left Behind lll

Ashley lay finishing her breakfast as she continued to watch the cameras. Apparently a schedule had already been designated. At noon the cameras would be on for no more than two hours. Megan seemed quite focused on the cameras, making notes of some interesting things, such as sightings of people or in her case, dangerous individuals or relevant events.

—While we're on the subject of food and resources, the Bars and Restaurants area is a mess. Apparently something went off in one of the kitchens and the gas tanks exploded. All the people inside... alive... dead... were charred.

—Lilly told us something like that... she said she was just leaving that area when the explosion occurred. She saw how some people were injured... and others were covered by the fire.

—It's what the cameras were able to record... the area is a mess and only four of the twenty cameras placed around it are any good —Megan looked tired, quite overwhelmed by the fact of seeing how the tapes repeated the exact moments when the explosion had occurred.

—Did you see any other people? —Ashley asked curiously.

—I've seen a few civilians... some running around, small groups... You know? I was thinking about something Jason said.

—What is it, Megan?

—I talked to him for a brief moment... apparently... that guy, that Ryan Howard guy, who Nikolai shot in the head after he rescued Lexie and the girls. He mentioned something about the butcher shop...

—Really?

—Yeah... I remember hearing that too, because we recovered the audio from the Black Card Plaza cameras. Let me see if I can connect to the cameras from... the butcher shop... you see, our mall has different places designated for exclusive use. In this case the butcher shop occupies a spot in the park... How could it have gone so unnoticed?

—Are you sure there's something relevant there? Maybe that man just said random things and...

—It seemed too specific. Maybe... maybe this group was planning to do something. Maybe during the time I fell asleep they did something, or planned something at the butcher shop. I was thinking...

Megan decided to head for the butcher's cameras, but the inner camera was broken.

—Only the camera on the outside is good... let's see what happened.

Megan rolled the camera back to a day earlier, specifically a few hours after the massacre occurred. The video was fast-forwarding, so most of the footage was a static image of the closed gate and part of the park.

—I'm absolutely certain there is nothing relevant there... —Ashley commented, but Megan insisted.

After about five hours of filming, a group of gagged men were seen entering the butcher shop. Ashley could recognize the people who were forcing the others to enter because they were dressed in clothes that were too particular to go unnoticed.

—They are...

—They are the people who attacked Black Card Plaza... —Megan could not believe that what Ryan said was true, there were people in the butcher's shop.

—Was anyone still alive in there?

—That's what I don't know, Ashley... these people messed with the cameras and it's impossible to check what happened inside. Apparently none of the people shown going into the butcher shop... came out.

—This makes me sick... Why is it only men going in? Have you noticed?

—Yeah... maybe if I search the cameras for something about them... about this group... maybe you should bring Jason in. Someone might need our help.

—I'll do that. I will. You keep looking...

Ashley left the room and walked through the halls of the shelter. She was somewhat pleased to hear people talking and to see people in the corridors because it was a good sign that there were still people alive in spite of such terrible circumstances.

—I guess there's always life after.....

Ashley smiled genuinely. Some of the civilians greeted her, like Mia with whom she had a great rapport since she was one of the first people she had talked to as soon as she arrived at the shelter.

—Has anyone seen Jason by any chance? —Ashley asked a group of civilians who were talking about something in particular.

—I haven't seen Jason, but I have seen that asshole Nikolai —Bryan answered sharply.

—I need to talk to him about something...

—I think Jason is on the roof. I thought I saw him coming up the stairs.

—Thank you, Michael!

—My pleasure.

—Are you going up the stairs, Ashley? It's kind of dangerous. The threads in the wound I stitched up might come out.

—I just... I need to talk to Jason about something, it's urgent. Maybe someone could go with him...?

—I can —Nikolai spoke behind Ashley's back who turned around and looked at him angrily.

—ugh, it's you.

—Why so aggressive? As far as I remember I saved the ass of the man who stitched your leg and brought you medicine. At least I expect some respect...

—Are you going to hold it against me that you saved the life of someone you didn't even want to rescue in the first place? George took care of me, not you.

—Oh, for hell's sake...

—Don't give me your bullshit, Nikolai. I know clearly what your intentions are with the group and the people you meet out there. You only see us as resources and you wouldn't hesitate to throw us to the dead in order to save yourself.

—No comment.

—I need you to find Jason and inform him that we have found possible survivors in the butcher shop. Apparently the people you killed in Black Card Plaza kidnapped civilians and took them there... but no one has come out.

—And why should we go there in the first place?

—I'm going to look for Jason.

—Hey! Hold on. All right. We'll go get your stupid friends you don't know and see if we can bring them in.

—You should calm the fuck down, Kalinic. —Michael spoke seriously, crossed his arms and looked Nikolai in the eyes.

—I'm sorry? I'm fine, I feel excellent, vigorous, full, and above all: at peace.

—I advise you to keep your opinions to yourself. It's just an advice.

—Whatever.

Nikolai opted to leave the group and went up to the rooftops. He could tell he was angry because he didn't like people telling him what to do, let alone being confronted like that.

—Idiots...

As he went up to the rooftop he could see that it was still raining, not as hard as it had been an hour ago, but water was still falling from the sky and the atmosphere was cold. Nikolai could see Jason sitting on a bench, covered by leather clothes that repelled water. Without thinking he approached him and sat down next to him.

—Jay.

—Niko.

Jason couldn't even see Nikolai because he was focused on the sky.

—Have you ever questioned if it's worth it to go on living?

Nikolai opened his eyes in surprise, how much he got to know Jason, he knew he was in another one of those episodes of his depression where he had to talk to him very carefully, because Jason was capable of doing something that could put him in danger.

Kalinic sighed and, moving closer to Jason, put his left arm around him.

—Why do you say that?

Jason sighed, he was tired. You could tell he had cried because his eyes were red.

—We're all infected. When we die, we come back as one of them...there's no difference between being bitten now and turning than... dying of old age and coming back as them. We're delaying the inevitable.

—Jason...

—If this is really what happens to us when we die... if this is what happens to us and anyway our destiny is guided to only one end... which is to become mindless things that wander around...

—...

—I was thinking... I would like to believe that there really is God, I would like to believe that there is something waiting for us but... things seem to indicate the opposite. I think... I think this whole business of pretending to be the hero... What's the point in helping and getting people out of trouble if they are going to die anyway...? I can't help but think about how insignificant we are, how easily broken we are... how ephemeral we are. It wouldn't make any difference because we'll come back as a zombie anyway... and that idea terrifies me.

—Would you like to tell me more about how you feel?

—Oh! I'd be happy to... well... I thought... I thought about what you said. We are no different, these people owe us nothing and we risked our lives for them. I realize I've been risking my life for mere strangers... yet... it feels so good, it feels right.

—Hmm?

—I like the attention, I like people waving at me and thanking me, I like feeling good and knowing that because of me... because of us, these people are still alive and they have dreams, they have goals... they want to stay alive because death is closer than ever. I don't want to die, Nikolai... I don't want to die... and I am so afraid for whatever comes next.

Jason began to cry, covering his face because he had collapsed.

—To know that there is nothing waiting for us... to know that... Do you think there is something there, Nikolai? Do you think there is really one little thing that we should even go ahead and hold on to? This selfish desire of mine to want to stay alive... I'd like to live forever... but I know I'll have one last dream and...

Nikolai for the first time was going to go with his principles and inhaled and exhaled, ready to say what he never thought he would say in his life.

—Maybe... there is something.

Jason was silent.

—Maybe... maybe there's something greater than us, maybe there's something that... look. I'm not much for talking about this but... but I think you need to hear it. I don't believe in coincidences, I don't believe in déja vu and I don't believe in superstitions either... but... the mere fact that we have the opportunity to live this adventure, and that against all odds we got involved in this shit in a city in the middle of the ass end of the world...

—What do you mean...?

—I think we were meant to be here, and I think there's something very big behind it that made us be here, at this very moment.

—How's that?

—Agh, fuck. Let me get my head together... yeah... look. We were supposed to have our common lives, we were supposed to wake up in our homes, we were supposed to have a long discussion about my job, and you were supposed to tell me some of your crazy shit...

—I probably would have told you to open a portal to sell pictures of...

—Of my feet, and maybe my armpits, you know how many people likes that kind of weird shit. That's the kind of shit you would have gotten me into! And I would have said yes, because I needed money. Fuck! Here's the thing... of all the decisions and everything we could have done YESTERDAY, we're here. There is a force, THERE IS SOMETHING that drove us to come here and, it's no coincidence that... just think about it, dammit.

—Ha...

—If we hadn't been here, the kids in that stupid toy house would be dead, the girls in the armory would be dead, probably none of the people we know would be alive now if it weren't for us being here. Do you know how much this all makes me think? Were we really meant to come to Vallimorth to save complete strangers and try to figure out the reason why people turn into zombies? We had so many opportunities to die... But here we are! And that gets me thinking. Maybe... maybe there's something protecting us, or we're just too smart for it.

—Maybe you're right...

—It's okay that you feel like shit, Jason, but please don't do this again. If you feel bad, if you feel this way... TALK TO ME. You don't know what... I wouldn't want to imagine what would have happened if I....

—You saved my life, again.

—Jason...

—Don't let go of me, Nikolai.

Jason held out his hand and smiled at the Serb who took it and wrapped both of his hands around it, both of his big, thick hands. The rough texture of his skin touching Jason's smooth skin.

—Don't do this to me again, you idiot.

—I'm sorry.

—I was too... worried and... you disappeared, I've been looking for you and .... Want to hear something funny?

—Uh?

—I happened to walk by just as Ashley was talking about you. You see... I was going to sleep, but when I saw you weren't there I looked for you in the shelter... but you weren't there. Then I passed by the cafeteria and I heard Ashley talking about you and looking for you and...

Nikolai shut up and had a better idea.

He kissed Jason on the lips, which was instantly reciprocated by Jason who, stroked Kalinic's unshaven chin.

—I love it when you do that...

—It's all for you, Jay.

—Forgive these outbursts... sometimes I don't know what to do and I get so desperate... I hope you can forgive me.

—There's nothing to forgive. By the way... Ashley said there are possibly more survivors at the butcher shop. It's in St. Michael's Park, we should go there or...

—We should go. The butcher shop is close enough, we can walk there. Thank you, Nikolai.

—Come here, you idiot.

Nikolai kissed Jason again, this time in the rain. At that very moment they didn't mind getting wet because, that was one little moment they had to take away from life because no one else was going to give it to them.

Jason felt that everything would be all right.