Alfred

The loyal English servant who has been Bruce Wayne's butler for more than three decades. Indeed, since his arrival in the United States in April­/May 1943</ref>, Alfred has functioned in the Wayne household as butler, chauffeur, cook, valet - i.e., as "major-domo and chief factotum of the household" - and, occasionally, as the cou­rageous, albeit somewhat inept, crime-fighting ally of Batman and Robin.

"To Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson, Alfred is more than their butler, for he is also a loyal friend entrusted with the knowledge that they are also Batman and Robin!". Batman has hailed Alfred as "the greatest gentleman's gentleman in the world!".

But Alfred is not merely a domestic servant of great dependability and skill; he is also, in his own words, "an amateur criminologist of little experience but much talent"; the author of the so-called "imaginary tales," a series of imaginative fictional accounts "of what possibly might happen(…) in the future" to Batman, Robin, their friends, and their descendants; and the inventor of several pieces of vital equipment which have found their way into the Dynamic Duo's crime-fighting arsenal. (For an exhaustive inventory of the Dynamic Duo's arsenal of crime-fighting equipment, see Batman [section E, the extraordinary abilities and the famous crime-fighting equipment].

Since Alfred's full name is never actually stated in the texts, it constitutes one of the minor mysteries of the chronicles. In December 1956 Alfred employs the alias Thaddeus Crane when he poses as "a private investigator from upstate" as part of Batman's plan to apprehend "mobster czar" John Varden, and the text states explicitly that Thaddeus and Crane are Alfred's "middle names". Furthermore, since Alfred has a brother named Wilfred Pennyworth, it seems fairly safe to assume that Alfred's last name is also Pennyworth.

Alfred's full name, then, is probably Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth. The question of Alfred's full name is complicated, however. by the fact that Alfred opens a private detective office in the town of Middleton in February 1945 under the name Alfred Beagle; it is impossible to determine from the text whether Beagle is a fictitious surname employed by Alfred, whether its appearance in the text represents a chronicler's error, or whether Beagle is actually intended to represent Alfred's last name.

Alfred was born, raised, and educated in England, apparently in London. His father, a butler whose first name was Jarvis, served "for many years" as butler to Dr. Thomas Wayne, Bruce Wayne's father, but Jarvis was already dead by April-May 1943, when Alfred first arrived in America. Alfred received at least part of his education at a school called Wheeton, where he appar­ ently achieved something of a reputation as a rugby player.

Both Alfred and his brother Wilfred began their careers in the theater. Wilfred eventually became a skilled Shakespearean actor, affiliated with a "traveling repertory company" known as the Avon Players, but Alfred aban­doned his theatrical career at the insistence of his dying father who, "heartbroken" at Alfred's having forsaken the "family calling" of domestic service, begged his son to "mend [his] ways," quit his life as "a music hall actor," and come to America to serve as Bruce Wayne's butler.

Almost from the day of his arrival in the United States, Alfred has been far more than merely a butler to both Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson: he cooks and serves their meals; washes, irons, and mends their crime-fighting costumes; cleans and dusts the trophies and equipment in the subterranean Batcave; and, in general. presides over the day-to-day domestic opera­tion of the palatial Wayne mansion. On innumerable occasions, he has safeguarded the vital secret of Batman's dual identity, either by imitating Bruce Wayne's voice over the telephone to make it appear that Wayne was sitting quietly at home, or by impersonating either Bruce Wayne or Batman so that Wayne and Batman could appear in two different places simultaneously.

Within a few months after his arrival in the United States, in fact, Alfred has become such an indispensa­ble presence around the Wayne mansion that "there are times when a stranger might have trouble deciding which is servant and which is master of the house­hold!"

In June-July 1943, for example, Alfred decrees a restful vacation for the Dynamic Duo, and takes pains to see to it that his orders for rest and relaxation are not violated: *"Both you and the young mawster* [I.e., Dick Grayson] *have worn yourselves out battlin' footpads and scalawags,*" insists Alfred, "*and it's my duty to see that you take a real rest!*" Moreover, to ensure that Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson comply with his instructions, Alfred has carefully hidden their crime­ fighting costumes so that they will not be able to use them.

"*So long, tyrant!*" cries Wayne cheerfully, as he and Grayson drive away from the Wayne mansion.

"*It's all very well to scoff, sir,*" replies Alfred, "*--but you know as well as I, I'm acting for your own good! Mind you eat well and get lots of sleep!*"

Unbeknownst to Alfred, however, Wayne and Gray­son have taken the precaution of wearing spare Bat­man and Robin costumes under their civilian clothing, and before long, in the "historic" city of Santo Pablo somewhere in the American Southwest, they become embroiled in a deadly battle with the notorious Ducky Mallard gang. Ultimately, they defeat the criminals and return home, only to find themselves confronted by an infuriated Alfred. "*I've read the public prints,*" sniffs Alfred, "*and your deceit is known to me.*" When he shows them that he has packed his bags, Wayne and Grayson become terrified that Alfred is about to leave them.

"*But, Alfred,*" pleads Wayne, "*you can't leave us! You're like one of the family! We couldn't get along without you!*"

"*Indeed I'm going to leave, sirs,*" replies Alfred huffily, "*--with you, on your very next out-of-town case! As a trained criminologist, I'll be invaluable to you*".

In January 1944, after Alfred has embarked on a short vacation, Dick Grayson confides to Bruce Wayne that "*It'll be a vacation for us, too! It's 'sir' and 'mawster' but Alfred does most of the bossing!*"

"*He's a tyrant in his own way,*" agrees Wayne with a smile, "*--and he's clumsy as an elephant---but we'll miss him!*".

Batman No. 24/2 observes quite rightly that "Frus­trated ambition burns in the soul of Alfred […] for he dreams of being a great detective, following in the footsteps of his famed masters, **Batman** and **Robin** […]". Indeed, Alfred regards himself as a "trained criminologist", in spite of the fact that this training stems largely from his as­ siduous study of a book entitled How to Be a Detective and from the fact that he is a "graduate cum laude of Hives' Criminological Correspondence School".

Inevitably, however, Alfred is tickled pink by the opportunity to play even a minor role in the crime­ fighting activities of Batman and Robin, Particularly during his early years as Bruce Wayne's butler, Alfred

frequently dons a special sleuthing outfit whenever he embarks on a crime-fighting errand, apparently so that no one will recognize him as Bruce Wayne's butler and thereby deduce the true connection between Bruce

Wayne and Batman, The somewhat comical sleuthing outfit consists of a green or red deerstalker hat, dark glasses, a meerschaum pipe, and, occasionally, a large magnifying glass for studying clues. By and large, Alfred's crime-fighting efforts tend to deteriorate into ineptitude, but over the years he has proven himself sufficiently loyal and courageous that even the F.B.I. has on at least one occasion requested the use of his services. *"The mawsters,"* observes Alfred proudly in July 1945, "[have] *dubbed me the buttling blood­ hound!"*.

Alfred is also the inventor of several devices that have found their way into the Dynamic Duo's re­nowned crime-fighting arsenal. One of these is the "sky sled," a red airplane-shaped object, roughly twelve feet long, on which one man can lie prone and soar through the air. Another is a pair of "life-saver inflatable costumes" for Batman and Robin. "*If you fall in the river,*" explained Alfred proudly, after the cos­tumes had just been completed, "*just touch the valve, and compressed gas instantly inflates them!*" The cos­tumes ultimately proved to be far too clumsy to serve the purpose for which Alfred had intended them, but Batman and Robin did once use them as decoys to help them trap a ruthless band of "river pirates". Alfred is also an accomplished writer, the author of a series of "imaginary tales" which appear in the chroni­cles periodically from April 1960 onward. "*Ah, what prose!*" exclaims Alfred approximately two years later, as he puts the finishing touches on yet another of his imaginary tales. "*Jack London couldn't have done better!*".

In June 1964 Alfred apparently loses his life while rescuing Batman and Robin from death at the hands of the notorious Tri-State Gang. It is in tribute to Alfred Ihat Bruce Wayne establishes the Alfred Foundation, "a charitable organization that will contribute to the betterment of all mankind!". By October 1966, however, it becomes clear that Alfred has managed miraculously to survive, and he and his former employers are joyfully reunited. Because Alfred is not dead after all, the Alfred Founda­tion is renamed the Wayne Foundation.

When Alfred first arrives in America in April-May 1943, he is a portly, clean-shaven man, bald except for some dark hair around his ears and at the back of his head. In January 1944 however, after reading that "The ideal detective is athletic, light and swift in movement, [and] graceful as a swan," Alfred decides to do something about his image. He spends his next vacation at a health resort, "cultivatin' a new figure," and then returns to the Wayne mansion a new man: now he is thin, has some strands of hair combed across his bald pate, and sports a narrow moustache. "*I felt I lacked a certain dash and elegance that would enhance my value as your crime­ fighting assistant,*" explains Alfred to Batman and Robin, who do not even recognize him at fIrst due to his altered appearance. Apparently, everyone concerned is pleased with Alfred's new image, for Alfred has maintained it since then.

In April-May 1943 Alfred arrives in Gotham City aboard a "small passenger vessel" and informs an astonished Bruce Wayne that he has come all the way from England to serve as his butler. Wayne is not pleased at the prospect of a stranger poking around the Wayne mansion, but he decides to allow Alfred to remain until he can lind some means of sending Alfred away without hurting his feelings.

In the hours that follow, Batman and Robin become embroiled in a series of deadly encounters with a trio of ruthless criminals - led by "international crook" Manuel Stiletti - who are determined to steal a set of priceless crown jewels recently transported to America by the exiled Duke of Dorian. On one occasion, after Stiletti and his henchmen have taken the Dynamic Duo captive, it is the bumbling but well-meaning Alfred who finds them bound and gagged and sets them free, Indeed, by the time Batman and Robin have appre­hended the criminals and restored the crown jewels to the Duke of Dorian, Alfred has, albeit accidentally, earned a large share of the credit.

"***Alfred's** pretty proud since we gave him full credit for this case!*" remarks Bruce Wayne, as he and Dick Grayson peruse a nightly newspaper in the quiet of the Wayne mansion. "*I really thought he'd done a great job of detecting, till it turned out he got all his information by accident!*"

"*For awhile,*" replies Grayson, "*I was afraid he'd find out who we really are--but if we're careful, it will be safe to let him stay, since he isn't too bright!*"

Both Wayne and Grayson are unaware, however, that Alfred has already accidentally stumbled on a secret entrance from the Wayne mansion to the Batcave, so that he already knows that his two wealthy employers are secretly Batman and Robin. No sooner has Grayson expressed his confidence in Alfred's lack of intelligence, than Alfred enters the living room carrying two Batman and Robin costumes slung over one arm, "*Beg pardon, sirs,*" intrudes Alfred politely, "…*you'll be going out directly, and I thought I might assist you with your uniforms!*"

"*What's this?*" stammers Wayne.

"*Huh?*" exclaims Grayson. "…*those cloaks*… *why, what does this mean?*"

"*The searchlight went on a few seconds ago!*" replies Alfred calmly, pointing out a large picture window at the yellow beam of the Bat-Signal stabbing across the night sky outside. "*I believe it means the police require the **Batman's** services!*"

"*The signal!*" stammers Grayson, almost paralyzed with disbelief. ".*..but--but what's that got to do with us?*"

"*You forget my deductive abilities!*" replies Alfred. "*I have known since last night that you were the **Batman** and **Robin**--but I saw no reason to mention it till now!*" "*Well, you're one of us now, **Alfred**!*" remarks Wayne, as he and Grayson climb into their crime-fighting costumes. "*I hope you realize that if your knowledge leaked out, **Robin'**s life and mine would be forfeit. Criminals would have an easier time of it!*"

"*I understand perfectly,"* replies Alfred. *"and you may rely utterly on my discretion!"*

Moments later, after Batman and Robin have roared forth from the batcave in their mighty Batplane, Alfred stares after them through a living-room window. *"They are so impressed with me,"* muses Alfred to himself, *"it would never do to tell them I learned their identity by sheer luck! Much better to act mysterious and say nothing!"*.

In May 1943 Alfred attempts to do some unauthor­ized sleuthing and is promptly taken captive - along with the wounded Batman - by the notorious Robber Baron. Ultimately, however, Alfred and Batman are rescued from the villains' clutches by Robin. who joins them in apprehending the Robber Baron and his henchmen.

In August-September 1943, after Batman and Robin have been rendered unconscious by coal gas sprayed at them by one of the notorious Tweed cousins, (see Tweedledum and Tweedledee), it is Alfred who revives them by artificial respiration.

In December 1943, after he has been instructed to keep an eye out for the Blackie Blondeen gang, Alfred spies the criminals and then realizes to his chagrin, that he has forgotten to bring along the special flash­ light wilh which he was supposed to summon Batman and Robin. After a courageous, if somewhat comical attempt to apprehend the criminals single-handedly, Alfred ultimately brings the Dynamic Duo rushing to the scene by accidentally detonating the time bomb which the criminals had intended to use in the robbery of a jewelry store.

In Winter 1943 Alfred overhears a conversation on the Gotham City waterfront which leads him to believe that one of the men, an ex-convict named Slick Swade, is extorting money from a man named Squirrel. Be­cause Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson are away on a fishing trip and won't be home until later, Alfred takes matters into his own hands and attempts to arrest Slick Swade single-handedly, only to discover that Slade and Squirrel are partners in crime and that the money passing between them had to do with diamonds being smuggled into the United States aboard the *Northern Prince*. Taken captive by the criminals and left to suffocate inside a locked room, Alfred manages, albeit partly by accident, to summon the Dynamic Duo to his aid. Before long the smuggled diamonds have been recovered and the smugglers safely apprehended.

In December 1943-January 1944, when George and Clara Grayson sue Bruce Wayne for the custody of Dick Grayson, Alfred testifies glowingly in Bruce Wayne's behalf. "…I've never seen Mr. Wayne deny the young lad anything!" swears Alfred, " He fair worships the boy!" Later, Alfred mimics Bruce Wayne's voice over the telephone so that George Grayson will not know that Wayne is not at home and thus become suspicious of Batman's true identity. When Batman is taken prisoner by the Fatso Foley gang and locked inside a divers' decompression chamber to die, Alfred and Robin race to the villains' hideout. After Alfred has rendered the criminals unconscious with the aid of a gas-shooting umbrella once owned by the Penguin, which he has borrowed from Batman's trophy room, he and Robin safely extricate Batman from the deadly chamber.

In January 1944 Alfred spends his vacation at a health resort, "cultivatin' [the] new figure" that he is to retain throughout the chronicles. Later, when Batman and Robin are about to be shot by Dr. Goodwin and members of the Biff Bannister gang, Alfred, just re­turning from his vacation, charges clumsily into the room, giving the Dynamic Duo the momentary advantage they need to overwhelm and apprehend their captors.

By February-March 1944, Lord David Hurley Bur­leigh has discovered an inexpensive process for ob­taining rubber from petroleum and has come to the United States in the hope of persuading an American oil company to deliver some sorely needed rubber to England in exchange for the process. However, Stevens, Lord Burleigh's unscrupulous assistant, has taken his employer prisoner and is determined to seize the priceless rubber process for himself.

Because Lord Burleigh had accepted an invitation to appear at a charity bazaar at the Gotham City home of Mr. and Mrs. C. L. J. Carruthers, Stevens has hired an actor to impersonate Lord Burleigh at the bazaar so that no one will realize that the real Lord Burleigh is being held prisoner. Meanwhile, because his second cousin once worked as a servant in the Burleigh home, Alfred, who has never met Lord Burleigh. decides to pay a brief visit to the Burleigh residence. When Alfred enters the Burleigh residence, Stevens, who assumes that Alfred is the actor he has hired, claims that he is Burleigh and asks Alfred to impersonate him at the upcoming charity bazaar. Alfred has heard that Lord Burleigh is somewhat eccentric, so his "spirit of prank­ishness" impels him to accept "Lord Burleigh's" proposition.

At thc charity bazaar, Bruce Wayne and Dick Gray­son are dumbfounded when they see their own butler being introduced as Lord Burleigh, and they decide to investigate by hitching a ride on the back of "Bur­leigh's" car as he speeds away from the party. Stevens, meanwhile, has discovered that Alfred is not his hired actor at all, and Batman and Robin are compelled to intervene to prevent Stevens's henchmen from killing Alfred.

When Batman and Robin pay a visit to the Burleigh residence, Stevens once again poses as Lord Burleigh, but the Dynamic Duo see through the impersonation and, although they are briefly taken captive by Stevens and his henchmen, they succeed in escaping from their captors, apprehending Stevens and his cohorts, and rescuing the real Lord Burleigh from the villains' clutches.

In April 1944, after Robin has been taken prisoner while trying to thwart a fur robbery by the Gentleman Jim Jowell gang, Alfred sets out to rescue him alone, in spite of the fact that "*Mr. Wayne--the Batman--has warned me about goin' awfter criminals without him--*." Before long, Alfred has been taken captive also and, to make matters worse, Batman is also taken prisoner while trying to prevent Gentleman Jim Jowell and his gang from stealing a shipment of platinum from a freighter in Gotham City Harbor.

Batman, Robin, and Alfred are left bound in a lonely tower, next to a hidden time bomb, while the criminals race off to hijack a planeload of commercial diamonds, but Batman uses Alfred's Sherlock Holmes-style mag­nifying glass to focus the heat of the sun's rays on his ropes, frees himself and his companions from their bonds, and then, with their help, apprehends the entire Gentleman Jim Jowell gang.

In April-May 1944 Alfred begins a brief romance with a domestic named Belinda, unaware that she is secretly the notorious Catwoman.

In February 1945 Alfred, his pride injured over Batman's refusal to allow him to accompany the Dynamic Duo on their nightly patrol of the city, requests permission to begin his month-long vacation immediately, then promptly sets up a private detective office in the nearby town of Middleton, where he hopes to "*show the mawsters . . . that Alfred is a better sleuth than they suspect!*"

At about this same time, gangster Stoney Peters, boss of "the most dangerous gang of thieves in Gotham City," flees Gotham City for Middleton after a heated encounter with Balman and Robin and promptly con­cocts a scheme to dupe Alfred into helping him rob the local bank. Peters and his cohorts visit Alfred in his private detective office, tell him that they are suspicious that banker J. C. Willis is planning to rob his own bank, and commission him to follow the banker to learn what he is planning. Alfred surreptitiously tails Willis and reports to his clients that he has observed no suspicious behavior on the part of the banker, but Peters and his henchmen capitalize on the information Alfred has accumulated concerning Willis's habits in order to rob the Middleton bank themselves.

When Alfred learns of the robbery, he realizes that he may have unwittingly aided the thieves and promptly pays a visit to the local police, but banker Willis had observed Alfred shadowing him, and Alfred soon finds himself charged with the Middleton bank robbery and thrown into the local jail.

Back in Gotham City. Bruce Wayne and Dick Gray­son read newspaper accounts of the Middleton bank robbery, deduce that Peters and his henchmen were responsible, and, as Batman and Robin, promptly set out for Middleton, where they find Alfred a prisoner in the local jail. After Alfred has told them his story, Balman and Robin set out in search of the criminals' hideout, which, from Alfred's account, they feel may be a shack on pier 60. After they have left, however, Alfred recalls that the criminals made mention of a houseboat and, anxious that Batman and Robin learn this ad­ditional information as soon as possible, he breaks out of jail and races to the dockside area where the crimi­nals' houseboat is located. Just as he is wondering whether he should attempt to apprehend the criminals single-handedly, Alfred is taken captive, and moments later, when Batman and Robin approach the houseboat in search of Alfred, they are taken captive also.

Just as Stoney Peters is about to Shoot Batman, however, Alfred manages to swing an oar at the crimi­nals, throwing them off guard long enough for Batman and Robin to subdue and apprehend them. When local reporters gather round to hear the story, Batman gives Alfred all the credit, explaining that Alfred "*not only* *led us to Sloney and his pals, but saved our lives when we crashed in to capture them!*"

Soon afterward, a headline in the Gotham *News* proclaims Alfred's heroism - "Private Detective Saves Lives of Batman, Robin; Helps Smash Robber Ring!" - and Alfred promptly frames it as a memento. When Batman and Robin prepare to set out on their next nightly patrol, Alfred announces that he is going along. "*Since I have proved beyond question my quali­fications as a nemesis o' criminals,*" crows Alfred, "*--where do we go tonight?*".

In April-May 1945 Alfred is punched in the nose when he attempts to prevent a masher from molesting a pretty blond girl in the park. The girl, however, is more than a match for the masher, and she swiftly apprehends the molester, rewards Alfred's gallantry with a kiss, and then introduces herself as policewoman Sgt. Shirley Holmes.

Not long afterward, after Shirley has, at Batman's request, infiltrated the underworld organization of a criminal known as the Count, Alfred - unaware of Shirley's undercover assignment - inadvertently ex­poses her to grave danger when he hails her on the street as "Sergeant." The criminals, now aware that their companion is a policewoman, are about to kill Shirley when Batman and Robin leap to the rescue. In the battle that follows, the criminals are completely defeated, and Alfred does his part by punching a hoodlum who is about to kill Shirley. When Batman suggests that they all go out together to celebrate their victory, Shirley declines. "*I want Alfred all to myself!*" insists Shirley. "*He just saved my life!*".

In July 1945 Alfred is captured by the Joe Bart gang, strung up by his feet, and is about to have his head crushed inside the mechanism of a giant printing press when Batman and Robin arrive on the scene. Although still hanging by his heels, Alfred manages to grab a criminal's gun during the ensuing battle and thereby prevent him from shooting Batman and Robin.

In November 1945, after Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson have been left temporarily penniless as the result of a huge embezzlement from the Wayne Motor Company, Alfred gets a job mowing lawns in order to help support the crime-fighting activities of the now impoverished Batman and Robin. "*There was never any doubt in my mind that they'd continue in action,*" explains Alfred sometime later. after the Wayne Motor Company's dishonest treasurer has been apprehended and Wayne's fortune has been restored to him, "*…though I must confess I was a bit dismayed at the prospect of supporting them in their customary man­ner by pushing a lawn mower!*".

In April 1946 Alfred accompanies the Dynamic Duo to London to help them battle the infamous Professor Moriarty. At one point, Alfred is taken prisoner by Moriarty and his henchmen, only to be rescued by Robin soon afterward. Later, Alfred is knocked un­conscious by the criminals while attempling to capture them single-handedly, but Batman apprehends them before Alfred can come to any further harm.

In April-May 1947, after Batman and Robin have been overpowered by the Beetle Boles gang, Alfred saves them from seemingly certain death by leaping through a skylight into the abandoned theater serving as the criminals' hideout. Alfred is knocked uncon­scious by the fall, but the incident gives Batman and Robin the momentary advantage they need to subdue and apprehend their captors.

In April-May 1949 Alfred joins Batman in an elabo­rate plan to defeat the Thinker, a ruthless criminal "who employs super-human 'thinking machines' to plan every inch of his crimes. . . ." Batman's most immediate problem is that the Thinker has fed every known fact about Batman into one of his four "elec­tronic 'automatic brains,' " and it is therefore only a matter of time before the machine matches these facts against every single citizen of Gotham City and dis­closes the vital secret of Batman's dual identity.

In order to stall the Thinker's search for his secret identity while he works furiously to bring the villain to justice, Batman arranges with Alfred to fake the death of Bruce Wayne so that, at least for the time being, it will appear to be impossible that Bruce Wayne and Batman are one and the same man. One afternoon, while Bruce Wayne and Alfred are sailing aboard the yacht *Carolina* on its gala maiden voyage, Alfred hurls a Bruce Wayne dummy over the side and then claims that Wayne fell overboard after accepting a childish dare to walk tightrope-style across the ship's narrow railing.

Bruce Wayne's "death" is now accepted as a fact, but events take an unexpected turn when Alfred is arrested and charged with Wayne's murder. In prison, however, Alfred shrewdly lets it be known that he is a hardened gangster responsible for innumerable crimes besides the murder of Bruce Wayne. When a fellow inmate informs Alfred that the Thinker is planning to break an entire group of them out of prison and that the Thinker could use a man of Alfred's talents, Alfred agrees to participate in the breakout and then promptly informs Batman of what he has learned. Batman, meanwhile, has been engaged in a frenzy of fighting the under­world so that it will appear to the Thinker that al­ though Bruce Wayne is dead, Batman is still very much alive.

Before long, Alfred has been broken out of prison and transported to the Thinker's hideout, where he manages surreptitiously to pick up a monkey wrench and hurl it into the electronic calculator assigned the task of discovering Batman's secret identity. As the result of Alfred's tampering, however, the machine produces the startling answer that Batman is none other than Alfred himself, whereupon the Thinker and his henchmen turn on Alfred in the mistaken belief that their electronic brain has successfully discovered Bat­man's secret identity. Just as Alfred appears doomed, however, Batman and Robin arrive on the scene and, after a long battle, succeed in apprehending the Thinker and his cohorts with some occasional assist­ance from Alfred. Batman will arrange for Bruce Wayne to be discovered alive on some island in the Atlantic, and Alfred will therefore be exonerated of the murder charge against him.

In October-November 1949, after a series of coinci­dences have forced Bruce Wayne to temporarily as­sume the role of a rookie policeman, Alfred poses as Batman so that the secret of Batman's dual identity will not be placed in jeopardy.

In December 1951-January 1952, when Longhorn Bell and his cohorts discover the existence of a net­work of caves beneath the Wayne mansion and leap to the conclusion that they have uncovered the location of the batcave, Alfred helps Batman and Robin trick the criminals into believing that the cave they have found is only a subterranean cavern being used as a batcave set in the filming of a Batman movie.

During this same period, Alfred receives the shock of his life when Bruce Wayne announces that he is dis­missing him from his post as butler at the Wayne mansion. "*Surely you're jesting!*" cries Alfred, heart­broken and incredulous. ''*I've served you faithfully all these years! I'd gladly lay down my life for you and the*

*young mawster* [i.e. Dick Grayson]*!*" Wayne, however, remains adamant, and before long Alfred has packed his bags and departed the Wayne mansion for a dreary furnished room somewhere in Gotham City.

In an effort to lift his flagging spirits, Alfred pays a visit to the home of his new friend Willie Willis, where Willis and some of his friends are gathered for what appears to be some innocent merrymaking. Willis, who claims to be a professional polygraph operator, sug­gests that they all have some fun with a lie detector he owns, and before long Alfred finds himself hooked up to the complex apparatus.

Willis asks Alfred a few innocent questions, ostensi­bly in the spirit of good fun, and then asks Alfred the crucial question that he has been preparing to ask all along: "*Isn't it true,*" asks Willis slyly, "*that **you're Batman's butler***?"

Unbeknownst to Willis, however, Alfred has just been fired from his job as Bruce Wayne's butler and is therefore in a position to answer truthfully that he is not Batman's butler. Indeed, the lie detector shows that Alfred's negative answer is the correct one. It is at that moment that Batman and Robin arrive on the scene and take Willis and his cohorts into custody.

Willis, Batman explains later, is in reality Slippery Willie Willis, a criminal wanted in Chicago on a robbery charge. When the Dynamic Duo observed Alfred innocently making friends with Willis, and learned of Will­is's plan to test his theory concerning Batman's secret identity by gelting Alfred to take a lie-detector test, they realized that they would have to fire Alfred since this "*was the only way* [Alfred] *could answer Willis's ques­tion and tell the **truth**! It's impossible,*" explains Batman, "*to deceive a lie detector!*" Batman and Robin also explain that arresting Willis before he used the lie detector would have jeopardized the secret of Batman's identity, since "*unless he used the lie detector, Willis would always suspect Bruce Wayne was **Batman**!*" Now that Willis and his cohorts have been appre­hended and Willis has been safely disabused of the notion that Bruce Wayne is Batman, Alfred, of course, may have his old job back. "*Oh, please forget it, sir!*" replies Alfred, when Batman apologizes for all the anguish the firing must have caused him. "*The only thing that matters is that we are together again, like the Three Musketeers!*".

In March-April 1952, during the period when Bruce Wayne allows the public to think that he is secretly the underworld czar known as the Kingpin, Alfred plays the role of Wayne's bodyguard.

In December1952-January 1953 Alfred,who bears an uncanny resemblance to convicted murderer Skid Turkel, is asked to portray Turkel in an upcoming film starring Batman and Robin. Alfred agrees, but the real Turkel escapes from his death cell at Gotham Prison, makes Alfred his prisoner, and then takes Alfred's place on the movie set in the hope of murdering Batman and Robin while the filming is in progress. Batman and Robin soon realize that the actor "portraying" Turkel is not really Alfred, however, and soon succeed in taking him into custody.

In May-June 1953 Alfred poses briefly as Bruce Wayne in order to help Batman create the impression that Bruce Wayne and Batman are at the same place at the same time.

In July 1954, after Batman has been shot and wounded by the Inventor's henchmen, Alfred admin­isters emergency first-aid to Batman in the safety of the batcave. Later, Alfred carries a Batman dummy toward the Inventor's firehouse hideout as part of Batman's plan to create a diversionary image on the villain's "magno-radarscope" while he and Robin close in from a different direction. Ultimately, it is Alfred who knocks the Inventor unconscious with his shoe as the villain attempts to flee his hideout.

In October 1954, when television station GCTV pre­sents Batman's life story on its "Your Life Story" program, Alfred poses briefly as Batman so that both Batman and his "friend" Bruce Wayne can appear on the program simultaneously.

In September 1955, after Batman and Robin have moved all of their possessions out of the batcave, Alfred helps Robin dam up the batcave's underground river and temporarily flood the batcave with water as part of Batman's plan to trick racketeer "Big Jim" Jarrel into believing that the cave would have no value as a potential hideout.

During this same period, Alfred receives an acci­dental blow on the head while trying on a spare Bat­man costume in the security of the batcave, lapses into unconsciousness, and awakens to find that he has suffered a complete loss of memory. Because he is wearing a Batman costume, Alfred assumes that he must secretly be Batman, and Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson are reluctant to tell Alfred the truth for fear that the shock will retard his recovery, perhaps per­manently.

Instead, Wayne and Grayson allow Alfred to think that he is Batman and that Bruce Wayne is the house­hold butler while they search for a means to restore Alfred's memory. In the days that follow, Alfred, clad in his Batman costume, patrols the streets of Gotham City with Robin, and the Dynamic Duo's chief difficulty consists of getting Alfred safely out of harm's way so that Bruce Wayne can battle the undenvorld as Bat­man. Finally, after Batman has been asked to take part in the trial cruise of a new jet-motored yacht to protect it from thieves who may try to steal its valuable new motor, Wayne suggests that Alfred pose as the house­hold butler while he poses as Batman so that, if anyone attempts to make off with the new jet motor, Alfred can take them by surprise. Alfred thinks that this is a capital idea, and Wayne's plan is promptly put into operation.

Aboard the yacht, criminals do indeed make an attempt to steal the new motor, and the real Batman and Robin succeed in apprehending them. During the fighting, moreover, Alfred receives another accidental blow on the head, which completely restores his mem­ory and robs him of all recollection of his brief career as Batman. "*A remarkable delusion, that I was **Batman**!*" exclaims Alfred, after Batman and Robin have told him the entire story. "*But it seems that I did very well in that role, eh wot?*" "*Alfred*," replies Batman with a grin, "*you were a lot better **Batman** than **Batman** was a butler!*".

In December 1956 Alfred assumes the fictitious role of Thaddeus Crane, "a private investigator from up­ state," as part of Batman's plan to apprehend "mobster czar" John Varden. As Crane, Alfred pretends to have learned Batman's secret identity, then allows himself to be kidnapped by Varden, who hopes to force this out-of-town "detective" to reveal Batman's secret. Once in Varden's hideout, however, Alfred summons Batman and Robin to the scene via belt-radio and the Dynamic Duo swiftly apprehend the assembled criminals.

In March 1957 Alfred poses as a criminal as part of Batman's plan to apprehend "underworld racket leader" Guy Graney, then helps Batman and Robin capture Graney and his cohorts.

In April 1957, after gangster Brainy Walker has tricked Robin into revealing the location of the batcave, Alfred poses briefly as Bruce Wayne as part of Batman's plan to persuade Walker that the cave beneath the Wayne mansion is not really the batcave after all.

In September 1957 a heartbroken and guilt-ridden Alfred packs his belongings and prepares to depart the Wayne mansion forever in the mistaken belief that he has inadvertently betrayed the secret of Batman's dual identity to an underworld character named Noyes. Many years before, according to this text, Alfred had been approached by Noyes and offered a large sum of money for information concerning Bruce Wayne's habits and activities. Alfred had angrily rebutted Noyes's persistent requests for information, but now, many years later, Alfred has spied Noyes poking around in the batcave, and he assumes that some chance remark he made at the time must have now enabled Noyes to locate the batcave and learn the secret identities of Batman and Robin.

Embarrassed and ashamed at having brought this misfortune upon the Dynamic Duo, Alfred decides to pose as Batman to trick Noyes into thinking that he is secretly Batman, and then to leave the Wayne mansion forever in the hope that Batman's true identity may yet remain a secret. When Alfred confronts Noyes in the batcave, however, and begins his impersonation, Noyes removes some makeup and a false moustache to reveal that he is none other than Batman in disguise.

"*Alfred, when I first hired you as butler,*" confesses Batman, "*I wanted to test your loyalty--I disguised myself as '**Noyes**' and tried to bribe you! Thus I was* *convinced we could trust you!*"

"*But why didn't you tell me that, later, when you decided to hire me?*" asks Alfred.

"*Because you proved so loyal and dependable a friend,*" explains Batman, "*I was ashamed to let you know I'd doubted you and tested you at first! I didn't mean for you ever to know!*"

Recently, however, continues Batman, he had donned the old Noyes disguise as part of a plan to capture a desperate criminal. It was actually a dis­guised Batman, and not an underworld character named Noyes, whom Alfred had spied prowling around in the batcave.

"*Thank goodness I won't have to play **Batman**, and can be just a butler again!*" exclaims Alfred happily.

"*Not just a butler, Alfred,*" replies Batman, "*--to us, you're the greatest gentleman's **gentleman** in the world!*"

This account of Alfred's early days as Batman's butler is at odds with earlier texts. For one thing, this text slates that Alfred applied for the post of Bruce Wayne's butler in response to an advertisement, rather than that he marched into the Wayne mansion and persuaded a reluctant Bruce Wayne to allow him to stay. Secondly, this text depicts a thin, moustached Alfred applying for the post of butler, as opposed to the portly, clean-shaven one. Thirdly, this text claims that Batman and Robin decided to take Alfred into their confidence regarding the secret of their dual identities, rather than that Alfred discovered their dual identities on his own, albeit by accident.

During this same period, Alfred helps Robin restore Batman to normal after a freak electrical accident at the Gotham Electronics Company has "reversed the atoms of [Batman's] body" and transformed him into a negatively charged "phantom Batman," capable of passing through walls and solid objects.

In December 1957 Alfred poses as Bruce Wayne as part of Robin's plan to make it impossible for Batman to prove - even to himself - that he is really Batman. (See Professor Milo.)

In August 1958 Alfred poses briefly as Batman in order to help safeguard the secret of Batman's dual identity.

In December 1958 Alfred poses briefly as Batman as part of Bruce Wayne's elaborate plan to persuade his great-uncle Silas Wayne that he is something more than a "rich idler," without simultaneously betraying the secret of his dual identity.

In October 1959 a freak accident in the trophy room of the batcave endows Alfred with "amazing strength," invulnerability, and the ability to "leap hundreds of feet" into the air. Alfred promptly dons a golden cos­tume trimmed with brown feathers and, under the name the Eagle, attempts to establish himself as a coequal crime-fighting partner of Batman and Robin. (See The Joker.)

In April 1960 Alfred composes his first "imaginary tale," an entirely fictional account "of what possibly might happen … in the future" to Batman and Robin, their friends, and their descendants. In it, an elderly Batman announces his retirement from crime-fighting and settles down to a life of relaxation with Kathy Kane, "whom he had long ago married. . . ." Dick Grayson, now a grown man, inherits Batman's mantle and continues the fight against crime as Batman II, while the Waynes' young son, Bruce Wayne, Jr., joins him as Robin II. At one point, Batman II and Robin II are taken captive by the Babyface Jordan gang, but Bruce Wayne and his wife Kathy, who once fought crime as Batwoman, climb into their old crime-fighting costumes and race to the rescue. Before long, Bat­man II and Robin II have been freed and the mobsters have been taken into custody.

In September 1962 Alfred disguises himself as a white-haired old man and claims to have come into possession of a magical sorcerer's flagon as part of Batman's elaborate plan to capture criminal Jack Pine and recover $2,000,000 in cash and gems stolen in a recent armored-car robbery.

In August 1963, during Batman's battle with the notorious Mirror-Man, Alfred poses first as Bruce Wayne and then as Batman in order to safeguard the secret of Batman's dual identity.

In February 1964 - during a special award ceremony in honor of Batman, Robin, and Superman - Alfred poses as Batman in order to enable Bruce Wayne to persuade Kathy Kane that he and Batman are two entirely different persons.

In June 1964 Alfred is taken captive by the notorious Tri-State Gang and locked inside an old prison cell to await a gangland-style execution after he has foolishly trailed a member of the gang to their headquarters inside an abandoned prison. When Batman and Robin follow Alfred to the prison, they are also taken captive, but are locked in a cell out of Alfred's sight. The Dynamic Duo manage to escape from their cell, and Alfred succeeds in overpowering his gangland guard and escaping also, but a fateful misunderstanding causes Batman and Robin to believe that their butler has been executed, and Alfred to believe that his two beloved employers have already been led to their doom. Independently, Alfred and the Dynamic Duo set out to capture the Tri-State Gang in order to avenge the "deaths" that they erroneously believe to have taken place.

By the time Alfred drives his motorcycle to the scene of the Tri-State Gang's next crime, Batman and Robin have already plunged into battle with them, and Alfred realizes with horror that the villains are about to use a steam shovel to drop a huge boulder on them. "*I can never warn them in time!*" thinks Alfred frantically. "*Only one thing left to do--risk my life to save theirs!*"

Furiously gunning the engine of his motorcycle, Alfred manages to knock Batman and Robin out of the path of the plummeting boulder in the nick of time, but Alfred is unable to save himself, and he falls tragic victim to the crushing weight of the mighty boulder. Horrified and enraged at the death of their friend, Batman and Robin hurl themselves at the Tri-State Gang "like avenging angels," swiftly take them into custody, and then sadly carry Alfred's limp body to the waiting Batmobile. "*He gave his life so that we might live!*" says Batman sadly. "*No friend could do more!*"

"*The house will be so empty without Alfred*," re­marks Dick Grayson, after arrangements have been made for Alfred's funeral. "*I'll never forget what he did for us…*"

"*Neither will I,*" replies Bruce Wayne, "*--and I want to make certain the world doesn't forget! Alfred deserves a fine tribute--a memoria!!*" Later, Wayne de­cides to establish a philanthropic foundation in Alfred's honor - the Alfred Foundation, "*a charitable organiza­tion that will contribute to the betterment of all man­kind!*".

From December 1964 through October 1966, Batman and Robin find their lives continually menaced by a mys­terious criminal mastermind known only as the Out­sider, a man of extraordinary powers whose "mission in life is to destroy the great crime-fighter [Le., Batman] and the **Boy Wonder**!".

Throughout his battles with the Dynamic Duo, the Outsider contrives to remain unseen, working his dia­bolical will through other criminals and communicat­ing with his intended victims only by means of tape recordings and telephone calls. The deadly threat posed by the Outsider is all the more bizarre in that the villain seems privy to the Dynamic Duo's innermost secrets ­– the secret of their dual identities and the location of the subterranean batcave.

Finally, in October 1966, Batman and Robin learn, for the first time, that the Outsider is none other than their dear friend Alfred, who had never actually died at all.

Alfred it seems, had been laid to rest, unembalmed, in a refrigerated coffin in the Wayne family mausoleum at Gotham Cemetery. That night, scientific genius and recluse Brandon Crawford had passed by the mauso­leum in pursuit of a rare insect, and his ultrasensitive "micro-audiometer" - a device capable of picking up the faint fluttering sound of the insect's wings - had registered a faint moaning from inside the mausoleum. Inside the refrigerated coffin, an astonished Crawford had found Alfred, still barely alive in spite of his massive injuries.

Crawford had quickly loaded Alfred into his automo­bile and carried him to his basement laboratory, "equipped with machines and inventions as yet un­known to the world."

"*Although his body was very badly damaged,*" mused Crawford to himself. "*his sheer will to live staved off death! I'm hoping my as yet untested experi­ment in cell regeneration will restore him to full life!*"

Crawford's "regeneration machine," however, had not functioned properly, and a series of monstrous accidents had taken place: Crawford had slumped to the floor in a deathlike "catatonic trance," transformed by the regeneration machine into an exact look-alike for Alfred; and Alfred, although he had been brought back from the brink of death to full life, had been horribly transformed also, both mentally and physi­cally. The new Alfred had no hair, chalk-white skin, and nesh hideously pocked with huge bumps or blisters.

"*I must save **Batman** and **Robin** from--no! **No**! That's wrong!*" exclaimed the transformed Alfred as he arose from the table in Brandon Crawford's laboratory. "*I don't want to save them--I want to **kill Batman and Robin**! I am no longer the man I was! I have been changed in mind and body--twisted into **reverse**! I don't even feel human any more! I am outside the human race! Yes! **I--am--the--Outsider!!***"

Because Crawford now looked exactly as Alfred had looked prior to his transformation into the Outsider, the new, evil Alfred - i.e., the Outsider - placed Crawford in the refrigerated casket and returned him to the mausoleum, so that no one but he would ever realize that the real Alfred was still alive in the form of the Outsider. "*Oddly enough,*" mused the Outsider grimly, as he secttled into Crawford's elaborately equipped laboratory. "*I feel at home here! My altered brain understands the principles of these ultra-scientific machines! With my increased mental power I can operate them--use them to destroy **Batman and Robin**!*"

For almost two full years, Alfred wages war against the Dynamic Duo as the Outsider, until finally, in October 1966, Batman and Robin invade his laboratory in a desperate attempt to apprehend him. During the battle that follows, the Outsider falls against the activa­tion lever of Brandon Crawford's regeneration machine and is once again transformed into the real Alfred, the loyal friend and ally of Batman and Robin, As the bizarre transformation process nears its completion, Alfred tells Batman the full story of the Outsider, and then, when the transformation has ended, collapses on the floor, with all knowledge of his life as the Outsider erased completely from his memory.

"*Poor Alfred!*" thinks Batman sadly. "*His very love for and devotion to **Robin** and myself became warped and twisted by this malevolent machine! But his story shall be my secret--**Alfred** must never learn the truth!*" Moments later, Batman warns Robin that they must never allow Alfred to learn the story of his life as the Outsider. "*I think the news of his treachery might kill him,*" explains Batman. "*so great was his devotion to us!*"

Soon afterward, Brandon Crawford is taken from the Wayne mausoleum and restored to normal with the regeneration machine, and Alfred returns to the Wayne mansion to resume his happy life with Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson. The name of the foundation estab­lished by Bruce Wayne at the time of Alfred's apparent death is changed from the Alfred Foundation to the Wayne Foundation.

1. ↑ BM No. 16/4: "Here Comes Alfred!"
2. ↑ BM No. 29/2, Jun/Jul '45: "Heroes by Proxy!"
3. ↑ (Det No. 328, Jun '64: "Gotham Gang Line-Up!"
4. ↑ BM No. 110/2, Sep '57: "The Secret of Batman's Butler"
5. ↑ BM No. 16/4, Apr/May '43: "Here Comes Alfred!"
6. ↑ BM No. 131/3, Apr '60: "The Second Batman and Robin Team!"; and others)
7. ↑ BM No. 68/2, Dec/Jan '51-'52: "The Secret Life of Batman's Butler!"; BM No. 110/2, Sep '57: "The Secret of Batman's Butler"
8. ↑ (BM No. 104/1: "The Man Who Knew Batman's Secret!")
9. ↑ BM No, 216, Nov '69: "Angel--or Devil?"
10. ↑ Det No. 96: "Alfred, Private Detec­tive!"
11. ↑ Det No, 110, Apr '46: "Batman and Robin in Scotland Yard!"
12. ↑ BM No. 16/4: "Here Comes Alfred!"
13. ↑ Det No, 82, Dec '43: "Quarterback of Crime!"
14. ↑ BM No. 216, Nov '69: "Angel--or Devil?"
15. ↑ BM No. 16/4, Apr/May '43: "Here Comes Alfred!"
16. ↑ BM No, 20/4, Dec/Jan '43-'44: "Bruce Wayne Loses the Guardianship of Dick Grayson!"
17. ↑ BM No, 8711, Oct '54: "Batman's Greatest Thrills!" ; and others)
18. ↑ (BM No. 17/3: "Rogues' Pageant!"
19. ↑ Det No. 83: "Accidentally on Purpose!"
20. ↑ Aug/Sep '44: "Convict Cargo!"
21. ↑ BM No, 17/3, Jun/Jul '43: "Rogues' Pageant!"
22. ↑ BM No. 16/4, Apr/May '43: "Here Comes Alfred!"; and others
23. ↑ Det No. 96, Feb '45: "Alfred, Private Detective!"
24. ↑ Det No. 86, Apr '44: "Danger Strikes Three ! " ; and others
25. ↑ BM No. 81 /2, Feb '54: "The Boy Wonder Confesses!"
26. ↑ Det No. IOJ: ''The Tyrannical Twins!"
27. ↑ BM No. 68/2, Dec/Jan '51-'52: "The Secret Life of Batman's Butler!"
28. ↑ BM No. 110/2, Sep '57: "The Secret of Batman's Butler"
29. ↑ BM No. 131/3: "The Second Batman and Robin Team!"
30. ↑ BM No. 145/3, Feb '62: "The Son of the Joker!"
31. ↑ Det No. 328: "Gotham Gang Line-Up!"
32. ↑ Det No. 356: "Inside Story of the Outsider!"
33. ↑ BM No, 16/4: "Here Comes Alfred!"
34. ↑ Det No. 83: "Accidentally on Purpose!"
35. ↑ BM No. 16/4: "Here Comes Alfred!"
36. ↑ Oct No. 75: "The Robber Baron!"
37. ↑ BM No. 18/1 : "The Secret of Hunter's Inn!"
38. ↑ Det No. 82: " Quarterback of Crime!"
39. ↑ WF No. 12: "Alfred Gets His Man!"
40. ↑ BM No. 20/4: "Bruce Wayne Loses the Guardianship of Dick Grayson!"
41. ↑ Det No. 83: "Accidentally on Purpose!"
42. ↑ BM No. 21/3: "His Lordship's Double!"
43. ↑ Det No. 86: "Danger Strikes Three!"
44. ↑ BM 22/1: "The Duped Domestics!"
45. ↑ Det No. 96: "Alfred, Private Detective!"
46. ↑ BM No. 28/2: "Shirley Holmes, Policewoman!"
47. ↑ Det No. 101: "The Tyrannical Twins!"
48. ↑ Det No. 105: "The Batman Goes Broke!"
49. ↑ Det No. 110: "Batman and Robin in Scotland Yard!"
50. ↑ BM No. 40/2: "The Case of Batman II"
51. ↑ BM No. 52/1: "The Man with the Automatic Brain!"
52. ↑ BM No. 55/2: "Bruce Wayne, Rookie Policeman!"
53. ↑ BM No. 68/1: "The Atom Cave Raiders!"
54. ↑ BM No, 68/2, Dec/Jan '51-'52: "The Secret Life of Batman's Butler!"
55. ↑ WF No. 57: "Public Enemy Bruce Wayne!"
56. ↑ BM No. 74/2: "The Movie That Killed Batman"
57. ↑ WF No. 64: "Bruce Wayne… Amateur Detective!"
58. ↑ Det No. 209: "The Man Who Shadowed Batman!"
59. ↑ BM No. 871 1 : "Batman's Greatest Thrills!"
60. ↑ Det No. 223: "The Batman Dime­ Museum"
61. ↑ BM No. 94/2, Sep '55: "The New Batman!"
62. ↑ BM No. 104/1 : "The Man Who Knew Batman's Secret!"
63. ↑ BM No. 106/3: "The Puppet Batman!"
64. ↑ Det No. 242: "The Underworld Bat-Cave!"
65. ↑ BM No. 110/2: "The Secret of Batman's Butler"
66. ↑ BM No. 110/3, Sep '57: "The Phantom Batman!"
67. ↑ BM No. 112/3: "Am I Really Batman?"
68. ↑ BM No. 117/2: "Bruce Wayne--Batman"
69. ↑ BM No. 120/2: "The Failure of Bruce Wayne"
70. ↑ BM No. 127/1: "Batman's Super-Partner"
71. ↑ BM No. 131/3: "The Second Batman and Robin Team!"
72. ↑ BM No. 150/2: "The Girl Who Stole Batman's Heart"
73. ↑ BM No. 157/2: "The Hunt for Batman's Secret Identity!"
74. ↑ WF No. 139: "The Ghost of Batman."
75. ↑ Det No. 328: "Gotham Gang Line-Up!"
76. ↑ Det No. 334: " The Man Who Stole from Batman!"
77. ↑ Det No. 356: "Inside Story of the Outsider!"
78. ↑ Det No. 336, Feb '65: "Batman's Bewitched Nightmare"
79. ↑ Oct No. 356: "lnside Story of the Outsider!"