Swahiliwood

Swahiliwood was an eight-part miniseries that ran during Season Three of *I Kveld Med Ylvis*. Bård and Vegard and their IKMY colleague Magnus Devold travelled to the city of Dar es Salaam in Tanzania to break into the movie industry. They were cast in a movie called *Police Lockup,* directed by a high-profile Tanzanian actor and filmmaker named Jacob Stephen (JB).

It does not appear that *Police Lockup* was ever released. Ylvis told a Toronto fan in December 2013 that they had never seen a final cut and that JB had quit the film business when he got a deal to promote cellphones.

## Episode 1

Ylvis arrive in Dar es Salaam and are met at the airport by their agent Richard and a famous comedian named Joti. There is also a TV station camera crew who interview Ylvis and their crew, then lose interest when they figure out that Ylvis aren't really movie stars.

Ylvis leave the airport with Joti, who shows them the "Joti style", his signature move - a fast foot shuffle with a long stride away. He tells them everyone in Tanzania knows it. Ylvis ask their cab driver if he knows the Joti style and he says yes.

The next morning Ylvis do some research on Tanzanian movies and discuss their options with Richard. He tells them that there are no auditions and they have to join a theatre group if they want to get cast in a movie.

## Episode 2

Bård and Vegard need photos to hand out to movie producers, so they go to a photography studio to get some head shots taken. Bård's photo shoot is uneventful, but the photographer tries a lot of different styles with Vegard - "thinking shots" lying on a bench, with his leg up in the air like Jim Carrey, telling him to look like he has "a lot of notes" (the pose that results makes Bård double over laughing) and "Bollywood".

After the photo session they go to meet the manager of a theatre group and join in the activities right away. They play improv games and dance with the group. Next they are asked to do a scene from one of their films, so they have to fake it with the only scene they can remember, from a children's play called *Hakkebakkeskogen* (Hakkebakke Forest.) Vegard is the master baker bunny and Bård is his incompetent assistant who puts too much pepper in the gingerbread. To their amazement, they are accepted into the group and get their new photos put up on the office wall.

## Episode 3

Ylvis do some field research at a local movie theater. They realize quickly that they have no idea what Tanzanians think is funny and unless they figure it out their movie careers will flop. They show their driver some clips from *I Kveld Med Ylvis* and he laughs uproariously every time Magnus is on screen. A gang of local children also find Magnus hilarious, so Bård and Vegard invite him to join them in Dar es Salaam.

Magnus gets some photos taken and tries out for the theatre group. All three Norwegians are given the group uniform of white t-shirts and red track pants - Vegard comments they look like the band Datarock's uniforms without the jackets. A theatre group dance montage follows set to Datarock's "Fa Fa Fa".

Magnus is accepted into the group as well.

## Episode 4

Bård and Vegard get some good news - Jacob "JB" Stephen, a very successful actor and filmmaker, wants to cast them in his next movie. They meet with JB the next day and while they're waiting, discuss which movies they're going to pretend they've done in Norway, as they don't think they'll be taken seriously if they say they're comedians.

JB tells Ylvis the name of the film is *Police Lockup*. Despite the title, it's not an action or cop film, but a melodrama about an unfaithful woman. One of them will play her lover. Bård wants to know if there will be fighting - JB likes the sound of that and says he'll put in a fight scene.

Meanwhile Magnus gets a part in a "street play", a comedy about an African wedding. Magnus volunteers to play the bride-to-be. The plot is rather open-ended -- it's about a woman marrying an abusive husband but she gets revenge on him in the end.

## Episode 5

Bård and Vegard attend the premiere of Magnus' street play. They burst out laughing when they see the height difference between Magnus and his "bridegroom" and comment that he looks very out of his comfort zone. The play is well received by the audience and Magnus introduces Ylvis to the director.

The *Police Lockup* shoot begins. Ylvis meet one of the lead actors/co-directors and JB says he wants to shoot a scene right away even though they haven't assigned roles yet. JB diplomatically tells Bård that he's not going to be the romantic lead by asking "Just by looking, who looks the most smart here? This one!" and patting him on the shoulder. Vegard is told he looks more like a lover, so he will be the one to suffer. They also find out that all three of them - Magnus included - will play brothers.

The scene begins shooting. There is no script, the actors are told what the scene is about and they improvise in one take. Vegard is playing the lover of the main character, Veronica, who is constantly unfaithful

In the scene, Vegard's character Samson is at a friend's house and shows him a picture of the woman he is going to marry. The friend says he knows her and she's already married. Samson refuses to believe him and storms out of the house. Vegard says to the TV camera that he's not entirely sure what's going on but he's enjoying it, as there is real vodka in the bottle they're drinking from in the scene.

## Episode 6

Second day of shooting. Ylvis and Magnus are being driven to that day's location. We learn a little more about the characters - Bård's name is Jackson and he is skeptical about Veronica's motives. Magnus has a Swahili name, Nditi. They discuss why Magnus got the African name when Vegard looks the most African of the three of them.

The day's location is at a house out in the countryside, beside the ocean. Vegard waits to shoot the first scene with his female lead, but she has had a little too much to drink on the way over and the two directors are not happy. She takes a long time to do her makeup but eventually they do the scene, and Vegard comments afterwards that she was a little gropey. The owner of the property is a big white man and he gets cast on the spot to play the father of the three brothers.

Next they do a scene where Bård, as Jackson, confronts Veronica about her ex-boyfriend and daughter, which she denies. JB cuts the scene in the middle to compliment Bård on his eyes and facial expressions.

The shoot moves along quickly. There is a short interview with a couple of the women on the crew, who are very taken with Vegard's performance - JB picked the right guy for the romantic lead. There is also a scene between the father, Samson and Jackson where they argue about Veronica being disrespectful and constantly on her phone - Samson defends her and refuses to listen to his father and brother's doubts. Magnus is given a line of dialogue - in Swahili - and adds some comedy to a dinner scene when he falls out of his chair.

## Episode 7

It's the last day of filming and the production has run out of money. Ylvis and Magnus spend the morning on the phone trying to find Norwegian sponsors,including Magnus' hairdresser (that conversation reduces Bård and Vegard to tears of laughter). Most of them are skeptical, but they finally convince Svendsen Eksos, a chain of car repair shops and Kari Traa, a champion skier with her own line of women's sports clothes to be sponsors. They give JB the money and start rehearsing for that day's fight scene.

Instead of filming right away, the film crew has a very long lunch of grilled chicken and goat. Bård thanks Kari Traa on camera because she's paying for everything they do that day, including the Coke Magnus is drinking. They have a look at the Svendsen Eksos poster the film crew made for the scene which looks great, except for a slight misspelling. Bård talks to the directors about having Kari Traa mentioned in the scene - but this ends up causing a delay because JB is not happy with the way the Tanzanian actors pronounce Kari Traa.

This is the long-awaited fight scene where Veronica's ex-husband confronts her in front of Samson, Jackson and Nditi. Then everyone is hustled off to the beach to shoot the world's clumsiest love scene between Samson and Veronica. It goes on a for a long time because Veronica is having trouble staying upright in the waves. Magnus and Bård are very entertained and Magnus comments that he's very glad he isn't responsible for it.

## Episode 8

The Police Lockup shoot is finished. The cast have all been invited to the opening of the Zanzibar International Film Festival. Neither Ylvis nor Magnus have brought suits with them so they visit local tailors to get suits made. Bård and Vegard order black Italian style slim-fit suits and Magnus orders a white suit.

They fly to the island of Zanzibar and check into an oceanside hotel. Ylvis get dressed to go to the award ceremony and Vegard discovers his suit jacket is so slim-fit he can't lift his arms all the way up. Magnus' white suit comes with a shiny salmon pink shirt that says Louis Vuitton on the label, but has some suspicious spelling mistakes. The pants are a little too big and Magnus hopes they don't fall down when he's on stage.

They all meet before going in to have a drink and admire each others' clothes. Bård and Vegard burst out laughing at the white suit and Magnus retorts that they're both going to boil wearing black. They get the program for the evening e-mailed to them and find themselves listed as "Ylvis, Bongo Film Maker."

At the award ceremony they are invited to give a speech. Bård thanks the cast and crew, Vegard thanks the sponsors and Bård finishes the speech in Swahili. Their goal has been achieved.