Goro: Give Them What They Really Want

(A/N: Content warning for suicidal ideation.)

Set after The Black Minute-Glass.

By Goro's count, there were still two people on the ship not protected by the deal. Not to mention all the damn animals.

What did everyone want from him, anyway? Did they not realize she hadn't called in the full minute? Maybe they didn't. He wasn't certain himself, anyway. It was just a feeling he had. That could not possibly have been sixty seconds. It happened so fucking fast. Somehow that had been the worst part of it—the realization, the dawning horror of just how much she could do in sixty seconds. She ripped his life apart and then she *stopped*, sooner than she could have, as if to taunt him. To show him he was not free of her and might not ever be.

He had to hand it to her, that was some fine torment. Very impressive.

But exactly how much was left, he didn't know. On a normal day it took him around twenty seconds to unlock and disarm his door. In case that wasn't good enough, he'd pushed a shelf and a table in front of it, too. He'd torn the room apart, checking for hidden vials. He couldn't stop digging through his pockets. He didn't trust his own hands even when they found nothing.

And people would not stop trying to get him to come out. Maybe he'd grant them their wish and come out, then throw himself over the side of the ship, give them what they really wanted. No, he had to stop thinking like that; it edged too close into self-pity, and self-pity turned him useless. He had work to do.

He would find a way to crush that bitch, and save Joan and Mishka. And then *they* would kill him. Problem solved.

A gentle knock on his door. "Goro?" Sugar's voice, again. His hand clenched involuntarily around the handkerchief he was holding. She wasn't planning to give up, was she? He'd fucked that one up. Had a chance to make her stay away from him, and he blew it.

He could have made it worse. He'd only just gotten started, tearing down everything precious about her. When he chased after her he should have kept talking. Hounding her until he drove her away for good.

But he fucking couldn't. He'd chickened out. He couldn't tolerate being cruel to her. The world was cruel enough to them as it was, and he wanted to be her sanctuary.

Bad, bad idea.

"Goro," she said through his door. "Amari's asking for you again."

Oh, fuck no.

If there was anything worse than Sugar trying to see him, it was Amari trying to see him.

The funny thing was, he would have gone out to see her already if he thought she'd be angry at him. *I hate you. I was wrong about you all along. I wish that thing had taken you instead of Joan.*

It would hurt, but in a satisfying way. Like scratching an itch until it bled.

But he didn't think that was what she'd say. She'd tell him she still loved him. No, there wouldn't even be a *still*. Still implied there was a possibility for it to go away. Goro had known a lot of stubborn motherfuckers in his life, but somehow, kind and gentle Amari beat out every goddamn one of them, because that woman would *not stop loving him*.

And it hurt so much worse to break the heart of someone who loved you than someone who hated you.