Big Quiz In A Small Pond

Big Quiz in a Small Pond is the fifth episode of Club Serenity. The transcript is as follows:

Cleo: Last time on Club Serenity.... the contestants searched for keys. Kariss got a secret advantage and Olga won invincibility, along with meeting a vulture friend. In the end, Dos convinced enough people to kick Charlotte out. 13 contestants remain! Who will win on... Club Serenity!

Rosemary: Sorry Charlotte got eliminated.

Donna: It’s okay. It’s just how these games work. (sniff)

Donna (Cabana): (teary) I didn’t know how hard this would be. I miss Charlotte.

Rosemary (Cabana): This villa is so subpar. I don’t understand how life could get any worse. Luckily, Donna’s coming out of a letdown. Maybe she can help me!

Rosemary: Do you want to work together? We really can’t tell what will happen on this show.

Donna: (sniff) Sure.

(Kariss and Marisol sit on the beach as the sun rises)

Kariss: Have I ever told you about my imaginary giraffe friend?

Marisol: As a matter of fact, you have not.

Marisol (Cabana): Like I said, I am very concerned about Kariss’s childhood.

Omar: Hey, King? (King is searching through cabinets)

King: (not looking) Yeah?

Omar: Do you wanna hang out at the beach, just the two of us?

King: (still not looking) Yeah, sure. Quality time for best friends.

(Omar frowns and walks away as King gets his arm stuck in a cabinet)

King: Omar? Omar! I need help!

DiAngelo: Hey, girls! You eating breakfast already?

Dillon: Yeah. Olga’s getting cereal for Scylla.

DiAngelo: Who?

Dillon: This vulture from the challenge the other day.

DiAngelo: Vultures eat dead things...

Dillon: She also took the rotisserie chicken out of the fridge.

DiAngelo: Solid.

Olga and Scylla (Cabana): Scylla’s sweet. Scylla was a supernatural female creature, with 12 feet and six heads on long snaky necks, each head having a triple row of sharklike teeth, while her loins were girdled by the heads of baying dogs. From her lair in a cave she devoured whatever ventured within reach, including six of Odysseus's companions. I think she likes the name. (Scylla grunts)

Cleo: Today we will be having a one-on-one trivia competition! Some of our viewers will choose 5 that will not participate. Let’s get on video call with our first fan- Kassondra!

Kassondra: Oh, hi! Um, I choose... Xiomara.

Cleo: Thank you, Kassondra!

Kassondra: You’re welcome! Also, I have- (Cleo switches people)

Laura: Hiiiii! I’m Laura, and I choose King because he won, like, A buncha challenges or whatever!

King: Dang. Win for me, Omar!

Cleo: Next is our third viewer, Peachette? What kind of name is that?

Peachette: I choose- um, DiAngelo.

Kariss: Also, how sober were your parents when they named you?

Cleo: Haha, she’s kidding.

Kariss: No I’m not- (Cleo switches screens)

Patricia: Hello! I’m Patrisha! I choozh Dosh.

Dos: Aw, man.

Dos (Cabana): [*bleep*] viewers [*bleep*] all my [*bleep*]ing [*bleep*]s.

Cleo: Our final viewer is... oh, boy.

Jonathan: I am Jonathan Bartholomew the fifty-second. And I choose Kyle.

Cleo: Okay, that leaves us with 8 competitors for the competition! Marisol and Dillon, you are the first two to go head to head!

Dillon: Sorry, Marisol, but you’ve got to go down.

Cleo: Walk up to your platforms! Okay: What is the tip of a shoelace called? (Dillon buzzes)

Dillon: An aglet.

Cleo: Correct! Where is the famous Studio 54 located? (Dillon Buzzes)

Dillon: New York, New York.

Cleo: Right again! What day is Star Wars Day? (Marisol buzzes)

Marisol: Oh, May 4th! You know, May the 4th be with you?

Cleo: You guys are good. Here’s a hard one: What are male honeybees called? (Dillon buzzes)

Dillon: A worker.

Cleo: Unfortunately, no. That is the job of the females, but not a name or male name. The correct answer is drones. Marisol gets one point. Whoever gets this one right (or wins by default) moves on. What scale measures the spiciness of peppers? (Dillon buzzes)

Dillon: The Scoville scale!

Cleo: Correct! Dillon moves on to the next round. Omar and Kariss, please take to the stage. First question: What was the first toy to be advertised on television? (Kariss buzzes)

Kariss: Mr. Potato Head!

Cleo: Good job. The destruction of Pompeii was caused by what volcano? (Omar buzzes)

Omar: Mt. Vesuvius.

Cleo: Correct! What are the three countries that do not use the metric system? (Kariss buzzes)

Kariss: America, Australia, and.... Scotland.

Cleo: You got one out of three- the correct answer is the US, Liberia, and Myanmar. Point goes to Omar.

Kariss: What the heck is Myanmar?

Donna: (sigh) Charlotte would know.

Rosemary: You can do this, um, girl!

Rosemary (Cabana): I need a friend, so I guess I’ll use Donna. She just came out of something. It’ll be okay- until she figures out I voted for Charlotte...

Cleo: Next question: What cereal uses Cornelius the Rooster as its mascot? (Omar buzzes)

Omar: Kellogg’s Cornflakes!

Cleo: Ding ding ding! Omar moves on. Next battle: Donna versus Marisol. First question: Who was the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic? (Donna buzzes)

Donna: Amelia Earhart.

Cleo: Yep! Who discovered penicillin? (Marisol buzzes)

Marisol: Nikola Tesla.

Cleo: Sorry, the correct answer is Alexander Fleming. Point goes to Donna. Which racer has the most Grand Prix wins? (Donna buzzes)

Donna: Michael Schumacher.

Cleo: Correctamundo! Donna moves on. Rosemary and Olga, you are the final group of the first round. Your question is: What alcoholic drink is Russia known for? (Olga buzzes)

Olga: Vodka. My dad is Russian.

Cleo: You’re right! What element is supposed to strengthen your bones? (Olga buzzes)

Olga: Calcium.

Cleo: Another point for Olga! Okay: What is the capital of Australia? (Rosemary buzzes)

Rosemary: (proudly) New Zealand!

Cleo: (visible confusion)

Xiomara (Confessional): HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dos (Confessional): HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kariss (Confessional): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cleo: Well, Olga moves on to Round 2! The first face-off is Dillon versus Omar! First question: Where was Adolf Hitler born? (Omar buzzes)

Omar: I mean, it’s gotta be Germany, right?

Cleo: Yikes. It was actually Austria. Dillon gets the point. What is the most viewed YouTube song? (Dillon buzzes)

Dillon: Despacito by Luis Fonsi.

Cleo: Who wrote “The Merchant of Venice”? (Omar buzzes)

Omar: Good old Shakespeare.

Cleo: It’s getting tight! What is the tallest building in the world? (Omar buzzes)

Omar: The Burj Khalifa.

Cleo: It’s neck and neck! Finally- What insect is good luck in Europe? (Dillon buzzes)

Dillon: Ladybug?

Cleo: Correct! Dillon moves to the finale! Thanks, Omar! Time for Donna versus Olga!

Olga: Sorry, sister. It’s goodbye for you.

Donna: We’ll see. (both smile)

Cleo: Oktoberfest is celebrated with what drink? (Olga buzzes)

Olga: Beer.

Cleo: A point for Olga! What is the name of Elvis Presley’s house in Tennessee? (Donna buzzes)

Donna: I went there! It’s called Graceland!

Cleo: You are right! The book “Black Beauty” is about what anim- (Olga buzzes)

Olga: Horse!

Cleo: Yes, but I would have preferred for you to let me finish the question.

Olga: Yada, yada, yada. What’s next?

Cleo: Fine! What was the first statein the USA? (Olga buzzes)

Olga: Delaware, which is also the second-smallest state in America.

Donna: Jeez, no need to flex. You already won.

Cleo: Okay, Dillon and Olga are our final two! Let’s get into it! For this round, both of you will write your answers. If you are correct, you get a point, even if the other person got it. First to 5 points wins! First: What color is a giraffe’s tongue?

(Dillon- *Blue,* Olga- *Purple*)

Cleo: The correct answer is purple. Olga has one point. What is a single strand of spaghetti called?

(Dillon- *Spaghetto,* Olga- *Spaghetto)*

Cleo: Both of you are correct. Olga is in the lead, two to one. What is the Starbucks logo?

(Dillon- *Mermaid,* Olga- *Siren)*

Cleo: Siren is correct. Three to one, Olga. What is August’s birthstone?

(Dillon- *Peridot,* Olga- *Emerald)*

Cleo: The correct answer is Peridot. Dillon has two, Olga has three. What is National Ice Cream Month?

(Dillon- *April,* Olga- *October*)

Cleo: The answer was July. Both of you are wrong. Next question! What state in the US is Area 51 located?

(Both- *Nevada)*

Cleo: Both of you got that one. Donna is ahead, four to three. What does a funambulist walk on?

(Dillon- *Hot Coals*, Olga- *Tightrope)*

Cleo: The correct answer is tightrope, meaning that Olga has won her second immunity in a row! Who will be staying at the Slop Shack this week?

Olga: Stef, Kyle, and.... let’s go DiAngelo this time.

Rosemary: It’s okay, DiAngelo. I will save you! TAKE ME!

Cleo: I’ve never had a volunteer before. Sure, all four of you can go.

Rosemary: WHAT?!?!?!

(All of the girls minus Rosemary sit in a room to talk)

Xiomara: Who shall we vote for?

Donna: I think Kyle or Stef.

Dillon: Sure, let’s do that!

Dillon (Cabana): I am so relieved people have forgotten about the whole stealing thing. I’m making as many friends as possible to rebound from it. I think I’m doing pretty well.

(Omar and King sit on the beach)

King: That’s how it all ended. Crazy, huh?

Omar: King, I like your company.

King: Thanks! I like your company, too.

Omar (Cabana): I’ll take it!

Cleo: Welcome to the elimination ceremony! One of you will be the fourth person voted out of Club Serenity. The votes have been cast, and I will now read them aloud. The first vote is for.... Kariss. The second vote is for... Stef. The third vote goes to.... Kariss. Fourth vote.... Stef. That’s two votes Kariss, two votes Stef. The fifth vote is for... Xiomara. And so is the sixth vote! The seventh is for.... Stef. That’s three votes for Stef, two votes for Kariss, and two votes for Xiomara. Next vote... Kariss. Next vote... Xiomara. Tenth vote... Stef. Four Stef, three Kariss, three Xiomara. Next vote... Stef. The next vote and the fourth person voted out of Club Serenity is....

Stef.

Stef: Well, I didn’t expect to make it long on the wrong show. But there’s somebody you shouldn’t trust. The one who is going behind the scenes and messing up everything. (Xiomara and Dos go pale) It’s- (Cleo escorts him out)

Cleo: Whoops. Guess you’ll never know. See you next time on... Club Serenity!

Xiomara’s Abandoned Phone: Trix? Trix? Are you there?