The White Witch

"Sometimes, to get a little further along these days, you need to white-ify yourself a little bit."

### Aliases:

Doubleya, Doubleya², Double-Doubleya, Doubleya-Doubleya-Two, Dub-Dub, Jankis, Jerkins, Jaundice (pejorative, kinda racist)

### Special Abilities:

Otherworldly radiance and charm, probably drugged candy, control of ice and snow, magic wand, manipulation of the media #FakeNews

### Appearances:

Episode 41: The Journey into the Wardrobe

**Jadis the White Witch, Queen of Narnia, Empress of "Seattle," Mistress of the Dungeon, and Slayer of Ocelots**, commonly simply referred to as **the White Witch**, is the ruler of the magical realm of **Narnia**.

The White Witch was born on the North Pole, but resides in **"Seattle,"** which, while not being in Narnia, is nevertheless part of her domain. She has "some history" with **Santa Claus**, as her powers continuously bring winter, but prevent the actual Christmas season in a form of eternal, worldwide edging.

Dick and Johnson were visited by the White Witch's fawn messengers and, after killing the first two, agreed to follow the third. To their surprise, the messenger led the two into their own house—which it appeared suspiciously familiar with—and the two were greeted in their Wardrobe Room by the Queen of Narnia herself. She told the two that her realm was being terrorized by **Aslan the Lion** who was seeking to usurp her title. She then showed the heroes the dead bodies and imprisoned cats of "Seattle," all supposed victims of Aslan's cruelty. While Dick sympathized with her and was eager to help, Johnson, who had read the *The Chronicles of Narnia*book series, remained suspicious. Surreptitiously feeding Dick her magically drugged **Turkish Delights**, the White Witch enhanced his sympathy for her. When the three arrived in Narnia, Johnson voiced his concern, but was unable to break the spell that was now clearly influencing his friend. After repelling an attack on the three by Aslan loyal forces, Johnson fled, but was forced to leave Dick with the queen. By the time he returned with his new ally Aslan, Dick had been fully transformed into a little British boy by the witch, who was continuously feeding him candy, and was having him call her mummy (a British mommy not the Mummy) in a super creepy way. Before the two best friends were forced to fight each other, Johnson, with Aslan's help, managed to revert Dick's change and break the White Witch's hold over him. The queen revealed her emotionally and mentally disturbed state, and Dick and Johnson decided to discuss a healthier way of building relationships, as well as issues of cultural sensitivity, instead of kicking her ass. Her contention with Aslan was left unresolved, but appeared to no longer be escalating towards a war.

The witch's extreme social awkwardness, paired with her unfulfilled desire for friendship, has led to her pathological behavior of coaxing people into her servitude, the closest thing she knows to friendship, by means of bribery, sycophancy, and self-victimization, empowered by subtle magical manipulation. Emotionally unstable, she sometimes bursts into tears at seemingly random moments during conversation, just as suddenly returning to normal interaction without explanation. Her need for control extends from individuals—transforming them into unquestioningly loyal subjects that adore her—to society—declaring herself undisputed ruler and seeking to destroy all competition—to the world itself—bringing never ending, unchanging winter. It is unclear whether her twisting of facts to justify her cruelty is a deliberate part of her manipulation process, or delusions she actually believes herself.

While the White Witch has control over snow and ice and can freeze/petrify objects and people both through touch, as well as through magic rays from her wand, her true power lies in her ability to manipulate and charm others, twisting words and distorting facts to serve her point. She keeps a large supply of Turkish Delights on her, which are possibly made with real turkey, most likely drugged or magically tampered with, and very much an acquired taste. She also showed the ability to fashion at least minor equipment from the candy.

## Behind the Scenes

Other than Jick and Dohnson, the White Witch is the only instance of a player character being an antagonist.