U Wot, James Smith?

**U Wot, James Smith?** is an episode of The Bully TV series, first aired in July 2016.

## Plot

The episode begins with Harry Smith marching downstairs for breakfast. He begs Liam Smith to buy him an Eyephone 6.5 to replace his Eyephone 4, which keeps crashing since he updated it to EyeOS 9. Liam refuses this, so Harry explains nearly everyone he knows has the latest models, including Mae MacDonald who owns five Eyephones, Steve Denton who uses his for POV videos of his skateboarding sessions, Zack Blowers who got an Eyephone SE the minute it was released, and even Vicky McIntyre who got one for her birthday. Liam still doesn't give in. Suddenly Grace Smith enters with a present for James Smith from Greta Smith; he asks her to get him a new Eyephone, which she agrees to as long as he pays all the bills with his measly pocket money! He does a massive fart of rage.

Soon the doorbell rings - Tim McDade, Gordon Cameron and Paul McEwan have come round to watch No-Gnomes with James. They enter the living room with Greta's gift and unwrap it; it turns out to be The Binbag Crew: Bin It to Win It DVD instead of the No-Gnomes Algebraic Adventures DVD James asked for. Tim, who is confused, pops it in the DVD player anyway. Jordan Nutter appears on the screen riding a kiddie bike; he yells "Brap brap! U wot m8s? We gonna blow this place out wicked blud!", which oddly makes the four Perfect Pansies start giggling.

Meanwhile Liam is forcing Harry to wash up as a punishment for farting in the kitchen. Harry asks why they can't just bung everything in the dishwasher, to which Liam replies they are doing the job the old-fashioned way. Harry moans about Liam not understanding that he lives in 2016, a time where practically everyone has an Eyephone, before switching the conversation to how things were in Liam's youth. Liam tells Harry that he spoke to his schoolmates over the telephone, and if his parents stopped him from doing this by using the dial-up Internet, he did smelly farts at them to get them off the computer. Harry sniggers at the thought of Liam once acting exactly like he does.

Meanwhile James and his friends are dancing to The Binbag Crew performing 'Bbbbbbbbbbbinbags'. Shortly a DOWNS man arrives at the door with a huge parcel. James signs for the delivery before returning to the living room with the giant box.

Harry and Liam finally finish the washing up and sit down at the kitchen table. Harry says he feels sorry for the latter as he grew up in a time where Headbook, Tatter, Stinkstagram, EyeOS gaming and Stripify were nonexistent. He then asks again for a new Eyephone, which Liam ponders on...suddenly there is a smell of tobacco coming from the living room! Liam marches in to see what on Volcanus is going on.

Liam and Harry's jaws drop at the sight of James and his friends dressed in burberry caps, tracksuits and cheap bling while smoking and dancing to the chavvy DVD! Paul passes out from sniffing glue. Liam yells at them to turn it off, though they refuse to in chav speak before spitting on him. Also noticing The Binbag Crew's official store loaded up on Grace's Eyephone and every bin on the street tipped over, he becomes furious - he grounds James for a week and smashes the TV with an axe! James bursts his nappy and lies on the floor bawling, along with Tim and Gordon. Liam screams that Harry will never get a new Eyephone, causing him to chase James all over the house.