Zwang

"*Text.*"

⚠️◾️🔸Zwang🔸◾️⚠️

She/Smiles/It ◛ Hoopoe ◛ Student

This isn’t personality notes this is literally just me describing my OCD lmaoo

* Diagnosed anxiety
* Thinks she has OCD (and possibly ADHD and/or Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder but she isn’t completely sure)
* She repeats movements such as touching objects and turning light switches on/off. She occasionally says certain phrases aloud as well but mostly it’s in her head
* She repeats these movements because if she thinks the wrong thing then something bad will happen. She cannot stop touching the object until she thinks the right thing
* These “wrong thoughts” have to do with her identity being changed in one way or another. Usually it is a change in physical appearance, beliefs, or gender/orientation. Sometimes it has to do with her personality but that’s more rare
* She is simply afraid of herself changing unwillingly/uncontrollably overnight into something she deems as “not her”.
* No she isn’t “noOo I don’t want to be transsS 😭😢☹️”, she doesn’t hate trans people at all. She just doesn’t want to wake up to find herself suddenly physically change into a guy or smth lmao
* She doesn’t exactly know why she’s like this but she suspects the tv shows she watched as a kid caused some sort of trauma relating to sudden changes to somebody’s body or behavior. There was always at least one wacky silly goofy genderswap or “character turns into the exact opposite of themselves” episode in every cartoon show ever. That is only an idea though as she can’t find any other reason why this is happening other than “haha funny brain chemicals being random and quirky”
* These motions and murmurs started around the second grade, at which they were much more extreme
* She also had a *very* germaphobic phase (she’s still a germaphobe but not as severe) which may or may not be related to this possible ocd but she barely remember much about it other than she would frequently ask if something was expired or not because she didn’t want to get food poisoning
* She murmured a lot more often and very much louder and didn’t like making physical contact with certain people she didn’t like at the time because she “didn’t want them to rub off on her” (she is very much out of that now lol). Her deskmates thought she was super weird and often asked why she was murmuring
* “I watch too much tv”
* Her parents would get angry at her murmuring when it got too loud. One time she was laying in bed and it was so bad that it felt like it was vibrating the entire house, her dad yelled at her and she decided to try to stop it
* She doesn’t hate him for that, he doesn’t know. It was only once anyways
* Something she also did that she doesn’t do as much anymore is repeatedly walking through archways/doorways
* She also began suffering intrusive thoughts that would repeat over and over in her mind
* Her mom became very worried and took her to the doctor. The doctor asked if she believed that if didn’t do those motions something bad would happen to her. She, thinking that it was just a quirk of hers that she didn’t want everyone to worry about (and having little to no knowledge on mental disorders), said no
* Everything started to wind down when Middle School started. She outgrew most of her old habits but the basic repetitive touching and occasional murmuring remained
* She noticed that when she was stressed the thoughts and motions were more frequent
* She knows it’s all absurd and nothing will happen to her but it is so. hard to resist the urges.
* Her hands crack open during the colder months, her right talon is usually worse than the left one

Trivia

* Her name comes from “zwangsneurose”, a term psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud used to describe OCD when it was classified as an anxious disorder. Zwang by itself means “obligation” in German.
* Zwang’s design was inspired by the rollercoasters The Smiler and Oblivion (her creator’s personal favorites) which are located at the U.K. theme park Alton Towers.

Gallery

TheCraftyDragonC base (outdated)Ditto but without the accessories (outdated)