Haags

The symbol of haagkind, also called "The Witching Hat".

"*Triple, triple, blood and spittle / Pure profaned, and reason riddled / Triple, triple, blood and spittle / Daemons wicked this way come!*"
— A common Haag incantation.
Originating from the Celtiken star system, the minor xenos species known as **Haags** are a rapidly emerging threat in the galactic north. Once content to torment the native xenos of their system, the opening of the Great Rift has emboldened them to leave Celtiken and sow chaos throughout the galaxy.

Ludicrously hostile and sadistic, and allied closely with the forces of Chaos, Haags utilize a mix of crude alien technology and sorcery to wage war against both the Imperium and other xenos factions - often to no logical end, except perhaps "to steal ancient relics of the ruinous powers". Like the Orks, Haags destroy for destruction's sake, taking great joy in the ruination of all things sacred and sane.

Indeed, the similarities between Haags and Orks go further than their jingoistic cultures: Haags are *also* a genetic mix of fungal and animal biology (though unlike the Orks, they are composed of *mold* rather than *mushrooms*), and they are physiologically sexless. Because of this, Lord Inquisitor Enaphine Coniss has hypothesized that the Haags were genetically engineered by the same ancient civilization that created the Krorks... And perhaps, that civilization abandoned them after recognizing their potential for corruption.

Regardless of their hypothesized origins, the terrifying implications of their reproductive process being similar to the Orks are clear: They have the potential to spread *exponentially* throughout the galaxy with each world they conquer, evolving from a threat less powerful than the T'au Empire, into a sweeping wave of daemonic warfare.

## History

The following is an incomplete history of Haagkind: little is known for certain, and much of what is posited below is theoretical, but in the grim chaos of the 42nd millennium, theories will have to do.

### Origins

While it is not known for certain, it is widely hypothesized that the Haags' predecessors were created by the ancient civilization of the Old Ones, alongside the Krork. When the Haags proved too unstable and sadistic (Rather than simply jingoistic, as the Orks are today), the Old ones abandoned their creation on the planet of Celtiken-IV in the Celtiken System, otherwise known as Celtikaag.

Here, the Haags neared extinction: While Celtikaag was populated, and the Haags' sorcerous capabilities were middling, they were unable to feed themselves properly, and the moldpits which spawned them would often dry up in the arid sun. That was, of course, until the realm of souls became the hellish nightmare realm of the warp.

The Haags became sorcerers en masse, and easily conquered their hellish world. Using chaotic rituals, they darkened the sun, turning Celtikaag into a boggy paradise for mold-based lifeforms.

Calling upon the gods, the Haags created portals to the warp, and to the other worlds in their home system: Grekaag, Germaag, and Slaavaag. On each of these worlds, they found minor xenos species, each of which they easily turned to the worship of their deities... or, alternatively, tortured.

For millennia, the Haags were satisfied with this way of life. That was, until the turn of the forty-second millennium.

### Emergence

When the great rift opened, and a psychic awakening shook the galaxy, the Haags power and ambitions were multiplied tenfold. With so many daemonic presences in the stars, they felt a calling to serve their gods within the greater galaxy. Indeed, many of them were given visions of the imperium, and knew *precisely* what enemy they were sent out to despoil.

So, after a brief three-year period of construction, the chaotic bands of Haagkind emerged from their home system, in terrifying fleets of corvid-like ships.

### Recent Events

* **003.M42 - Calamity Eldereye Formed** Shortly after the initial exodus from the planet, a figure known as Grannee Threeglares commandeered *three fleets* from three separate Great Grannees. She declared herself to be Great Grannee Threeglares, of the newly formed Calamity Eldereye and announced her intentions to rule over haagkind.
* **005.M42 - First Imperial Contact** An unknown battlegroup of the Imperial Navy came into contact with the Haags' strange ships, and witnessed them corrupt several worlds to Chaos. Immediately upon judging that the fleet was too large to face head on, they rushed back to an Imperial base to warn them of the danger.
* **006.M42 - The Irichus Disaster** Responding to the threat, a fledgling space marine chapter known as the Sledge Guardians flew to the Irichus system to meet the Haags of Calamity Dustyshelf head on. They were summarily defeated in the ground *and* void battles, and suffered such devastating losses that their Chapter has since gone extinct.
* **006.M42 - Calamity Bubbleburst Formed** Using the Gene-Seed of the fallen Chapter master as an ingredient, Grannee Moldyglove created a brew which summoned a Great Unclean One into existence. Using the prestige of this act to her advantage, she broke away from Calamity Eldereye and formed Calamity Bubbleburst.
* **008.M42 - The Virsi Triumph** Hearing of the humiliating defeat of the Sledge Guardians, an Imperial Fists company went to meet the fleet of Calamity Dustyshelf in the Virsi system. Calamity Dustyshelf was scattered to the wind, in what was the first *(but almost certainly not the last)* recorded victory against the Haags by Imperial forces.
* **008.M42 - Calamity Screamswarm and Calamity Tramplehome Formed** Singsong and Headscratches *(Two Grannees formerly belonging to Calamity Dustyshelf)* broke away from the larger calamity in the final battle, and began forming their own calamities. As such, Calamity Screamswarm and Calamity Tramplehome have a special ire reserved for the Imperial Fists.
* **011.M42 - The Destruction of Lirava** In the most devastating victory Haagkind has wrought so far against the Imperium, Calamity Eldereye plundered the wealth of an Imperial Pleasure World, and stole several historic artefacts from its museum sites. Many of these artefacts turned out to have secret chaotic properties, which Great Grannee Threeglares is using to her fullest advantage.

## Haag Organization

"*One's a curiosity, two's a conspiracy, three's a curse.*"
— Ordo Xenos expression.
Haags are grouped into three tiers of organization: A Coven, which is made up of three Haags. A Curse, which is made up of three Covens. And a Calamity, which is made up of three or more Curses. Each of these groups adhere to *the rule of three,* as described below:

### The Rule of Three

Given their innate talent for using the powers of the warp, particularly in acts of sorcery, Haag culture has oriented itself *entirely* around pleasing the three sorcerous gods: Tzeentch, Slaanesh, and Nurgle. For obvious reasons, Khorne despises nearly all of Haagkind as vile sorcerers, and they despise him just as well, as a foolish and inelegant cosmic brute.

Because of this, Haags honor “The Rule Of Three”, a custom that mandates that Haags gathered together must be evenly devoted to each of the three gods, or devoted to a single god, lest they invoke the jealousy of the other two. So while you might find a coven of three Nurgling Haags, or a curse made entirely of Haags devoted to Chaos Undivided, you’ll never see a coven with two Tzeentchian Haags and one Slaaneshi Haag, as such a formation would irk Slaanesh and infuriate Nurgle.

### Covens and Nannees

Covens are the lowest tier of Haag social organization, and are lead by their most powerful member, called a *Nannee.*

While most covens can do little on their own, a trio particularly powerful devotee Haags are perfectly capable of doing plenty of damage without the aid of a curse... Although, the issue then becomes finding a trio of powerful Haags who won't try to kill each other the first chance they get.

### Curses and Grannees

Curses are the middle tier of Haag social organization, and are lead by the most powerful Nannee among them, called a *Grannee.*

Because of their specific organization, Curses can accommodate the rule of three in several different ways: A curse could be composed of one Nurglite coven, one Slaaneshi coven, and one Tzeentchian coven; or it could be composed of three Covens of Chaos Undivided; and so on.

### Calamities and Great Grannees

Calamities are the final tier of Haags social organization, and are lead by the most powerful Grannee among them, called a *Great-Grannee.*

While each Grannee and Nannee may have their own plots and schemes, ultimately, they are subservient to and molded by their Great-Grannee. In a very real sense, the will of the Great-Grannee becomes the culture of the calamity. Great-Grannee Threeglares, for instance, is famously kleptomaniacal, with a tendency to steal any chaotic relic she can get her hands on. As such, her Calamity is a raving band of magpies, eagerly clawing at whatever they can find.

## Haag Physiology

"*The haags have long-since cast aside such luxuries as 'consuming food' or 'sleep'. Their mold colonies feed on the energies of chaos itself, as though they were plants drinking in the light of a sun.*"
— From "Notes on Haags", Lord Inquisitor Enaphine Conniss
### Lifespan

Evidence indicates that, undisturbed, Haags would die of natural causes when they reach a paltry 60 years of age. Unfortunately, their consumption of energies directly from the warp has rendered them nigh-ageless, with their only signs of aging coming in the form of dark spots in their skin.

### Warped Cardio-Vasculature

As a Haag grows in age and experience, more residual warp energy begins to build up in that Haag’s cardiovascular system. To put it in simpler terms: Their hearts literally pump chaotic power. As such, particularly old Haags are more adept at channelling the powers of the warp.

### Reproduction

Much like Orks, Haags possess a symbiotic mix of fungal and animal biology. They have no need for sexual reproduction (or, for that matter, sexual dimorphism,) as their mold colonies regularly generate new Haags.

## Haag Forces

### Troops

#### Cast-Haags

As mentioned above, Haag hearts slowly accumulate residual chaotic energy over time. Cast-Haags utilize a weapon of chaotic technology called a *Cast-Staff* to focus this residual power into spellcasting and sorcery. Wielding this weapon, Cast-Haags drastically heighten their powers, and drastically lessen the risk of a spell backfiring.

Due to the innate simplicity of their abilities, and the ease with which a young Haag can learn to use a cast-staff, Cast-Haags occupy the most ubiquitous role in Haag society.

#### Broom-Haags

Much like how Cast-Haags utilize their chaotic hearts to power spellcasting, Broom-Haags utilize an archaic piece of technology called a “Lev-Broom.” This weapon emits a jet of pure warp energy from the frills at its top, allowing it to be used as something like a *make-shift flamethrower* at close range, or as a *mountable flying tool* that can reach speeds as high as 100 kilometres per hour.

Broom-Haags are often the scouts and vanguards of any half-decent Calamity, although it would be inaccurate to say that they are to any degree “stealthy”: Broom-Haags will streak through the skies of enemy territory, dodging and weaving through the bullets of anti-aircraft weaponry, madly cackling all the while.

### Elites

#### Scratch-Haags

Scratch-Haags are cybernetic Haags, named for the scratching sound of their metal claws against their tools. While most Haags care little for academic knowledge, choosing to instead dedicate their minds to the study of the esoteric and the arcane, Scratch-Haags are the precise opposite: They care little for sorcery, and become obsessed with arithmetic and technology. Scratch-Haags are also responsible for the race’s interplanetary transportation, although there seems to be no “standard” for what a Haag ship looks like.

In addition to being the engineers of nearly all Haagkind's handheld weaponry and spacecraft, Scratch-Haags are responsible for engineering *Yaga Walkers*, the Haags' standard heavy support, and *Kocschei-Killers*, mech suits that use Haag hearts as fuel.

#### Heartbreakers

As mentioned before, as a Haag ages, her heart becomes further and further infused with energies from the warp. Interestingly enough, after a Haag dies, this residual energy doesn’t immediately dissipate. And, when stored correctly, the energy within a Haag’s heart can last for centuries.

This is where Heartbreakers come in. Heartbreakers stalk the grave remains of Haag battlefields, cutting open and looting the corpses of their fellow Haags. While they are more obsessively focused on collecting the hearts of powerful Haags then they are on fighting their own battles, Heartbreakers are formidable foes, able to use these stolen hearts as both casting materials and makeshift grenades.

#### Cauldronkeeps

Haag mold, when combined with certain chemical materials, can be used to create incredibly potent compounds. Haags known as “Cauldronkeeps” have mastered the art of mixing ingredients together with Haag mold to create draughts, explosive materials, fuels, and so on. Additionally, some of the more talented Cauldronkeeps can use their cauldrons to grow their own mutated Haags, or even to summon daemons.

Given their wide variety of uses, Cauldronkeeps are invaluable to curses and calamities: Most Haags cannot count the number of times their life was saved by a potion.

#### Kaat-Tamers

Kaat-Tamers are Haags who have learned the art of training *Hexkaats,* obsidian-black warpborne felines that occasionally burst from bubbles in Haag mold. Linking her soul with the Hexkaat's own, a Kaat-Tamer becomes feral, hungry, and utterly lethal to anything that stands in her way. Because of this, Kaat-Tamers are often uncooperative with other Haags, although they can be convinced to aid a calamity, if the price of meat is paid.

### Chaos-Aligned Haags

#### Banshees

While most Haags care nothing about their appearances, the Slaaneshi Haags known as Banshees become utterly obsessed with it. They spend their lives collecting gaudy trinkets and clothing in order to adorn themselves, as well as mixing paint to cover their own faces. Ironically enough, this practice only serves to make Banshees look even more uncanny.

Nonetheless, when Banshees eventually become convinced that they are truly beautiful, they become filled with a kind of religious fervor and glee, which allows them to “sing” spells. In truth, what they call singing is an ear-shattering shriek of great length and varying tones.

#### Moldspreaders

The Nurgling Haags known as Moldspreaders fully dedicate themselves to the power of ever-encroaching mold. Like many other servants of Nurgle, they seek out clean and pure worlds, untouched by decay or plague, and begin to brew their own infectious mold. Some Moldspreaders have so mastered this ability, that they can effectively transform other races into Haags by infecting them.

Additionally, Moldspreaders possess incredible regenerative abilities, and can grant these abilities to other Haags in their Covens… for a price, of course.

#### Riddlebhuers

Like all servants of the trickster god Tzeentch, Riddlebhuers are vexing foes in their own right: Unlike their fellows, who prefer direct attacks via conventional warfare, Riddlebhuers vastly prefer to cripple their foes via *subterfuge.* Even in the brief period since the great rift has opened, Riddlebhuers have spent their time psychically tormenting the leaders of dozens of Imperial governments, bringing down entire planetary dynasties remotely with endless nightmares and conjurations- both illusory and all-too-real.

#### Slaughternanns

Just as with all sorcerers, there is but one kind of Haag that Khorne grants his favor: Those that use their sorcery to open themself to daemonic possession, becoming vessels for Bloodthirsters and the like. For obvious reasons, only the most bitter, anti-social, violent, and jaded of Haags will take this path- Most often, particularly powerful haags who have been exiled by their calamities. Once a haag becomes a slaughternann, she and the daemon will immediately go on an anti-sorcerer killing spree, destroying any Haags in their sight, and should they survive, run screaming into the galaxy in an effort to kill any psyker she can get her hands on.

### Commanders

#### Grannees

While Nannees are picked out by covens mostly as a matter of convenience, Grannees are quite clearly a cut above the rest. Be it sorcerous talent, cauldron-brewing technique, or martial prowess (or at least, as much as such a thing can be present in a Haag), Grannees are selected from 9 Haags to lead a curse for their natural superiority in combat.

Often devoted Haags, Grannees can call upon the ruinous powers far easier than their subordinates, and have little difficulty in casting spells.

It should be noted that each Calamity has at least three Grannees, one of which is the leader, a Great Grannee.

#### Great-Grannees

Great-Grannees are legendary figures within Haag culture: While Calamities are at minimum groups of 27 Haags, they often swell to hundreds in the war effort, and as such, Great-Grannees must prove themselves better than at *least* two other Grannees- often by right of bloody combat.

When a Great-Grannee emerges, she immediately begins to plot against the enemies of Haagkind, in her own unique way. In a sense, the culture of the calamity she governs is *inextricable* from her own conniving schemes... And thus, any Grannee who does not learn to align herself with her Great-Grannee's particular brand of cruelty, is sure to face expulsion and replacement by one who can.

Great-Grannees are more than just demagogues though: They have the power to back up each of their threats. A Great-Grannee with enough calamity-members can summon *greater daemons,* and rival even the champions of Chaos Marine warbands.

### Heavy Support

#### Yaga-Walkers

Scratch-Haags use their talent for the creation of chaos engines to create *Yaga-Walkers*, the Haag’s personal answer to transport, housing, and military support. Standing on two strange avian legs- similar to the Scratch-Haags’ own cybernetics- they trample across battlefields, launching enchanted rockets as they do so.

Yaga-Walkers are truly intimidating constructions, able to function as a Haag’s base of operations *and* primary mode of transport, *as well as* destructive weapons of warfare, easily able to stand their ground against Dreadnoughts and other such warmachines.

## Notable Great-Grannees

"*Eh, what's that? Oh goody! It seems the marines have come to our door again, dearies! Our bubbling friends will show them some proper hospitality.*"
— Great-Grannee Moldyglove
### Great-Grannee Singsong

Great Grannee Singsong is a Slaaneshi Broom-Haag, known for the eerie pink glow of her silhouette against the night skies of the worlds her and her calamity invade. Like all Slaaneshi Haags, she has the capability to “sing” her spells, but rather than manifesting as an ear-splitting screech, Great Grannee Singsong manifests her magic in an eerie cackle.

#### Calamity Screamswarm

Calamity Screamswarm is an all-Slaaneshi Calamity, sporting an even mix of Broom-Haags and Banshees. They tear across Imperial Pleasure Worlds, stealing any trace of wealth or beauty from the face of the planet, and leaving their denizens starving, alone, and likely converted to the worship of Slaanesh.

### Great-Grannee Moldyglove

Great Grannee Moldyglove is perhaps one of the most vile and diseased of all Nurgle’s children. With a body *made* of infectious mold, her very presence is enough to asphyxiate a Space Marine with even the most potent of respirators. Additionally, she has near-mastered the art of disease brewing, her cauldron having amassed the highest kill-count of any object of its kind.

#### Calamity Bubbleburst

Calamity Bubbleburst is an all-Nurgling Calamity, made wholly of Moldspreaders and Cauldronkeeps. As mentioned prior, they spend their days brewing sickly concoctions, some of which are *so* potent that they spontaneously manifest daemons into the material realm.

### Great-Grannee Headscratcher

Great Grannee Headscratcher is perhaps the most intelligent Haag in the species' history. Fortunately for mankind, however, she is also perhaps one of the most socially inept. While she has driven hundreds of the Imperium’s loyal guardsmen to madness with a mere thought, and constructed some of the most energy-efficient Yaga-Walkers the species has ever seen, she is also an incredibly poor public speaker, and a worse military leader.

#### Calamity Tramplehome

Calamity Tramplehome compensates for their Great-Grannee’s failing with sheer technological superiority: each of the Calamity’s 99 curses has at least one Yaga-Walker to its name, and an army of 99 walkers will win most fights, regardless of military order.

### Great-Grannee Threeglares

Great Grannee Threeglares is perhaps the de facto leader of all Haagkind, in much the same way that Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka is the de facto leader of the Orks: Threeglares is at once feared, loved, respected, and hated, by nearly every Great-Grannee in the galaxy. Even in spite of her own Calamity’s size and power, it is speculated that Threeglares will not be satisfied until each calamity in the galaxy is (at least indirectly) under her command.

While little is known about her history, what *is* known is that Threeglares is a chronic hoarder of chaotic relics and texts, seeking them out wherever she can find them. Her Yaga-Walker is lined wall-to-wall with the spoils of her battles against fellow calamities, and the ordo malleus speculates that she is the explanation for the raidings of dozens of temples and/or sites set up to contain such relics in her territory.

#### Calamity Eldereye

Calamity Eldereye holds the same kleptomaniacal tendencies as their Great-Grannee, meaning that to fight against eldereye, is to fight the strength of *millennia* of chaotic history, with many Grannees and Nannees having old chaotic technology in their possession.