Heavy Data and Heavy Metals (Summary)

Introduced by Vibraphone Player, Security Guard, and House Band Jonah 'Knuckles' Glickman, Paula and Adam interview John Shluce on the topic of the Census, and Jeff Agnue on the topic of Spot Welding. The Cast elaborates upon their search for a missing Survivalist, and Paula discovers the joys of a welding helmet.

## 'Heavy Data and Heavy Metals'

### Air date

November 2018

* Paula reveals that the cast have created a map with which to better track down missing Survivalist Thomas Coine, in which nobodies may pinpoint locations where Thomas Coine isn't. Narrowing down their search, it is revealed that Coine is not in the Bellingham Massachusetts Whole-Foods Cheese Section, a random Manhole in Paris France, the Quality Inn in Nashville Tennessee, or a set of rooftops in Southern Philadelphia. Adam adds that Coine has also not been spotted in the Main Soundproof Experimental Booth in the Laboratory for the Psychophysiological Analysis of Emotion, Cognition, and Reward; in the Department of Psychological Sciences at Perdue University in Western Indiana, leading Paula to wonder who exactly it was she saw in said laboratory before the show.
* In an unusual reversal of what will later become their general standpoints on the topic, Paula points out that Nobodies may not be certain that Thomas Coine is not in any given place, given that he could later come to said place before or after a Nobody declares it to be devoid of the missing Survivalist.
* Paula mentions once again that she sleeps on the floor, when discussing her Infestation of the Week. She stresses, however, that listening for various pests is merely a benefit of sleeping on the floor, and not her sole reason for doing so. To date, Poundstone's reasons for sleeping on the floor are unclear. She also notes that her neighbors have started building a mansion adjacent to her home, which is somehow to blame for this week's Infestation.
* Subsequently, Paula and Adam interview Census taker and Journalist John Shluce, who calculates how much of Paula Poundstone's life is wasted spending two full minutes on a daily basis to open trash bags with no discernible top, assuming she lives to eighty. Paula subsequently summarizes his advice as follows:

> *"The census gives information about our population, so we can allocate funds, and tell who gets bridges, whether they're near bodies of water or not. If you research using data, you still have to do ground-truthing, or shoe-leather journalism, or standing outside a building talking to about sixty people. One out of one data journalists prefer bar graphs over pie charts. In the aftermath of a devastating earthquake, people are not interested in the demographics of dog breeds, even if it's well illustrated!"*
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* Subsequently, Paula and Adam interview Jeff Agnue in order to determine whether or not Paula could become a Spot Welder, marking the second installment of the 'Career Corner' segment. Paula makes a Balloon sculpture of Jeff Agnue in order to irritate Adam. She summarizes his advice as follows:

> *"Spot welding is the easy kind of welding, it's not the extra-training specalty kind. Jeff can teach most people how to psot weld in three minutes! (For some people it may take longer.) It's very dangerous- it involves intert gasses, and you're making a molten puddle up to four thosand degrees! And that's several degrees hotter than the San-Fernando valley! It can be frustrating, so you learn patience. In fact, inside the helmet, one can become focused and calm. You could open a trash bag with a helmet on, and it wouldn't bother you at all! (Although you might melt the bag if you're welding.) There's an expression in welding: 'When the helmet drops, (muffled) The bullshit stops!'"*
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