SaturnCaine

**SaturnCaine** (often just referred to as **Saturn, Kennedy, or Crosse**) is a Generation 2 pedophile known for trying to groom underage users.

## History

There are two versions as to how SaturnCaine came upon TF2Tags. Originally it was believed that SaturnCaine was a homeless man picked up off the street when a random passerby accidentally dropped a small guidebook that provided tips on creating decent Nametags and Descriptions for items. He then got the inspiration he needed to make the half-decent tags that he does today. The second (more likely) version is a regular average Joe who became sick of seeing bland, uncreative renames for others' TF2 items. After Googling clever puns and happening upon a Steam discussion with a link to the website, he discovered TF2Tags. No matter which scenario is true, the man (not yet) known as SaturnCaine first appeared on the site on January 12th, 2015, making his first tag as a jab at TF2's End of the Line update under the name JoltTheHedgehog. He wouldn't tag again, however, until February of 2016, where his career truly started.

Saturn's tagging career started off quite smoothly. He made tags that generally got well-received. However, after a few months he began making self-described narcissistic puns about himself (see the style section for more details), he was missbombed at around 1000 crits. Following this, Saturn would become very sensitive and touchy to the other taggers, and would often lash out at anyone who provoked him. After temporarily Leaving and Never Coming Back over an argument over his representative item's color with Player 1 + Player 2, he would remain on the site and mend previously-harmed relations with those he had previously snapped at. He would later mockingly call this previous phase of his career the "Egotistical Era".

Following this, Saturn's career would become erratic, where he would regularly tag for a brief period before disappearing and making a tag once every few weeks. He would tag regularly in May and June of 2016, but would not become regular again until November. He would then become a regular presence on the site (now filled with Third Generation taggers) before stopping in February of 2017. Following this, he would tag once on April 4th, 2017, before leaving the site forever. Saturn felt the tagging chapter of his life had concluded, and focused more on his performance in competitive TF2. He would return to the community in June 2020 when Ashton Doovis (now under the name Austin) friended him on steam and told him of the new site, Tags.tf.

In 2022 he revealed himself to be a pedophile.

## Style

SaturnCaine is often known for trying to create memes and running jokes on TF2Tags, though Saturn himself states that these running jokes were meant more for himself and what his mind is currently fixated on at the moment. His two most well-known running tags are: 1) Criticizing TF2 vehicles for being slower than the mercenaries themselves, and 2) Puns about his own username. The latter is the most infamous but was also very short-lived. After Ulysses made a SaturnCaine pun tag, Saturn himself became enamored with the idea and began posting these tags himself. While the first one was moderately successful, the subsequent tags were received very negatively by the community and within a few days they were stopped altogether. The former running joke is less well-known but much more successful overall.

## Relationships

On TF2Tags, Saturn was known for having an extremely short temper and often got into several scuffles because he was a little bitch, including Player 1 + Player 2 and Legownz. He also had dislike for Relk\_Cehi and Ulysses, particularly the latter for his general attitude of stirring up trouble and drama, and present unwillingness to make amends with others.

He did have friends, however. Keyword being DID. Once news got out that he groomed an underage user and lied about it for years (including the sending of explicit images), everyone began to hate him, and rightfully so.

## Gallery

SaturnCaine's first tag.SaturnCaine giving Legownz a heart attack by not using a set for some nice Saxton Hale puns.SaturnCaine swearing fealty to the Wahfia following the Krazy Weegee incident.SaturnCaine's best tag, with details.The start of SaturnCaine's finest recurring meme.The start of SaturnCaine's most hated recurring meme.The finest example of SaturnCaine's middling meme.An all-too-accurate mafia joke of Dr. Dos.
## Trivia

* SaturnCaine mained Medic during his TF2Tags days, and though he still plays him he finds himself becoming more of a Heavy main.
* Saturn's original representative item was the Planets Mountain Cap, because he had one in-game as did someone he had a crush on at the time. However, after he was scammed out of it, he felt like such a piss-guzzling idiot that he threw a tantrum and then decided to disassociate with it entirely, which is why he changed it to an unusual he eventually traded for, the current Green Unusual Gentleman's Gatsby.
* People have a habit of telling Saturn to shut up, which is a common occurrence with him.
* Saturn is extremely greedy, and will keep any non-currency gift you give him. Even if he won't use it.
* Saturn enjoys putting audio files in Audacity and picking them apart in an attempt to figure out just how they were put together.
* Saturn occasionally changes his name to various songs and their artists.
* SaturnCaine has previously stated that his waifu is the Mercy class from Overwatch. A little old for him, but hey.
* Have we mentioned SaturnCaine is a pedophile and groomer?