Find-A-Friend Network

The **Find-A-Friend Network**, or FAFN, is a service that will be available to assist people who are unable to pay $5 WWD for the mandatory World Wide Lottery ticket each month. People can sign up for FAFN on a website or a PO box or paper means in order to find a friend who will be willing to give them $5. FAFN will allow these wealthier patrons known as Fives to funnel $5 to the poor FAFN recipients known as Five-Nots. It should be noted that sending $5 to FAFN will actually cost the Five a total of $7, with the remaining $2 being used to pay for FAFN itself.

Since it will be mandatory for everyone over 18 years old on Earth to pay $5 for a World Wide Lottery ticket each month, FAFN is the only option available to poor people who want to avoid the $7 ticket infraction served by the World Wide Security Initiative for failing to purchase a World Wide Lottery ticket. Everyone who applies to FAFN to become a Five-Not will receive their $5 within one hour of applying. These systems will guarantee that World Wide Lottery is indeed worldwide.

## Underage unpaid interns

Once World Wide Lottery is implemented, anyone under the age of 18 will be forbidden from seeking paid employment to go along with the fact that they also cannot participate in World Wide Lottery itself. The only jobs available to people under the age of 18 will be unpaid internships, like those offered at FAFN. These unpaid internship positions offered at FAFN will actually extend to the age of around 20 or 21 years of age, which will allow the head of FAFN, Drew, to take them out for dinners once they are of legal age. While working at FAFN, the underage unpaid interns will be tasked with distributing the $5 payments from the Fives to the Five-Nots, all of which will be done within one hour of a Five-Not applying for FAFN. This will be done for every human on Earth requesting FAFN assistance.

All underage unpaid interns working at FAFN will be taken from their families for the duration of their employment there. This will help prevent any bias in the decisions of the underage unpaid interns in regards to which poverty stricken Five-Nots will receive their monthly $5 to purchase the mandatory World Wide Lottery ticket. However, since everyone who applies to be a Five-Not will be given $5, this seems like an unnecessary bit of excessive bureaucracy. Regardless, FAFN will be keeping track of whose children come from which families, so if anyone abuses the $5 system, their children might be forced to work at FAFN for a little while longer.

The underage unpaid interns will be forced to sleep in sleeper train cars on World Wide Train. It will likely only take a couple months for World Wide Lottery to raise enough money to pay for World Wide Train, but it is unknown where the underage unpaid interns will sleep in the meantime.

These policies have led some people to describe FAFN as "a shell corporation humanitarian PR/HR fuckin' nightmare".

## Trivia

* Some alternate name ideas for the Find-A-Friend Network include the Five-A-Friend Network or the Find-A-Five Network, because those would be punchier, much like the name Globe Hell Warning. FAFN has also derisively been referred to as the Find-A-Boy Network.
* The application and abbreviation of FAFN are both notably similar to that of the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, or FAFSA. FAFSA is a form completed by current and prospective college students (undergraduate and graduate) in the United States to determine their eligibility for student financial aid. It is unlikely that FAFN and FAFSA are related though because Globe Hell Warning is based in Canada, but the similarities are remarkable nonetheless.