Gonzo: A KVU Novel

Chapter 2: In Da Future

## Prologue

The California desert, midday. The sun burns high in the sky, instantly evaporating any sort of water that might have been present. A strange creature crawls across this barren wasteland. He wears a white button-up shirt, brown pants and a gray and brown sweater vest. He is a smaller creature. He’s covered in blue feathers and hooked light purple nose, making him resemble a flamingo. His name is Gonzo and right now, he’s running for his life. A cloud of dust grows behind him as a fleet of vehicles approaches. Exhausted from the heat, the running and the events of the previous confrontation, Gonzo collapsed on the ground as his consciousness began to fade…

## Chapter 1

The year was 2013. The place was Los Angeles, California. After Kermit da Frog’s departure from The Muppet Franchise 2 years ago, the rest of the team had quit due to Disney’s poor treatment of their founder and leader. Kermit had left LA long ago after being thrown out by Disney loyalist Miss Piggy and with no leader, The Muppets had decided to go their separate ways. But unlike his fellow Muppets, who had clear and concise goals (Such as Fozzie wanted to be a comedian and Sam the Eagle wanted to go into politics), Gonzo wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself. While working with The Muppets, it was obvious that Gonzo never really quite fit in. His act was always undefined, he called himself an artist which gave him an excuse to do whatever weird ideas would come into his head. These would range from stunts to music to eating car parts on more than one occasion. Gonzo relished in the avant garde, but unfortunately he never managed to find his audience while on The Muppet Show. The constant heckling and failed stunts would leave Gonzo feeling…undefinied. Just as undefined as his own species. Gonzo quite literally did not know who he was and neither did anyone else. Gonzo’s medical records stated that he was found whilst on an expedition to The North Pole but that was all that was known. It became rapidly apparent that Gonzo needed to get a job. The only real home Gonzo had ever known was The Muppet Studios (before that Gonzo had lived in a van down by the river, but the van had been destroyed in a drift race) and he needed a source of income if he didn’t want to live on the streets forever. Before joining The Muppets, Gonzo had gone to college and studied to become a plumber and with no other career in mind, it seemed he didn’t have any other choice. And so from July of 2013 to March of 2014, Gonzo lived and operated in LA as Gonzo: The Prince of Plumbing. While Gonzo managed to move into a small one-bedroom apartment and was able to keep the lights on, it wasn’t easy going. Gonzo found little to no respect in the plumbing industry and often was forced to accept bills much less than his original price. But then, on a cool evening just a few weeks after Muppets Most Wanted was released, Gonzo arrived back at his apartment to find a letter waiting for him in the mailbox. The Muppets tried to stay in touch after they split, all except for Kermit, who had gone down a bit of a dark path and who no one had heard from in years. But what surprised Gonzo was the return address: Rizzo the Rat, New York, New York. “Rizzo?” thought Gonzo to himself as he walked into his apartment. Rizzo and Gonzo used to be close friends but he had left the group before Kermit signed the Disney deal due to a family issue. Sitting down on his hand-me-down couch, Gonzo opened the envelope and read the letter aloud. “Dear Gonzo, please come down to NYC and see me. Here’s my address; 2749, Hell’s Kitchen. There’s something I wanna talk about. -Rizzo.” Opening his junk draw, Gonzo was able to find just enough cash that could pay for a flight from LA to New York. After checking his empty answering machine for the third time that day, Gonzo threw together some spare clothes and belongings into a suitcase, locked up his apartment and headed off to the airport.