First Date

**(We open up on Hero, who is fighting a large boar in Rogues and Assassins. He seems distracted by something, however, and is hit by the boar and falls to the ground.)**

**Hero Şervan:** Ow!

**(His father Gilgamesh sighs in disappointment.)**

**Gilgamesh:** Hero, I simply do not understand. You were once at the top of your class, yet now you fail at even the simplest of maneuvers. Might you be losing your touch?

**Hero Şervan:** N-no! I-I can do this!

**(He grabs his weapon and charges the boar again. He gets knocked on his butt again.)**

**Hero Şervan:** Ow!

**Gilgamesh:** I apologize, son, but you have failed the assignment. I don't see how you could've done so poorly...

**(Crushed, Hero returns to the rest of the students.)**

**Mallory Sorrow:** Wow! I can't believe it! Hero Şervan, son of the invincible Gilgamesh, defeated by a *boar*! What got you so distracted?

**(She moves closer to Hero, and starts whispering.)**

**Mallory Sorrow:** A pretty girl, perhaps?

**Hero Şervan:** ...how'd you guess.

**Mallory Sorrow:** Wait, really?! Who are you crushing on? 'Cause if it's me, I apologize, but I'm not inter-

**Hero Şervan:** Evîn Şerr. Ishtar's daughter. Sh-she'd never notice me, but-

**Mallory Sorrow:** But you'll never know until you try! Look, how about this. At lunchtime, just walk on over. "Hi! Wanna go for coffee?" To be REALLY suave, offer to pay for the drinks. You can't go wrong like this!

**Hero Şervan:** Alright...I'll try it out.

**(Later, at lunchtime, Hero is trying to give himself a pep talk. It isn't working.)**

**Hero Şervan:** Come on...come on, dude, it's just five words... "H-hi! Wanna...er..." GAAAH! I can't do this!

**Evîn Şerr:** Hero?

**Hero Şervan:** WAUGH!

**(He jumps into the air, then turns around to see Evîn.)**

**Hero Şervan:** O-oh! Hi, Ish- Evîn! Evîn! I meant Evîn! Totally was *not* about to accidentally call you by, ha ha, your mother's name.

**(beat)**

**Hero Şervan:** Yes. Totally.

**Evîn Şerr:** Oooooookay. Anyway, *\*she shrugs\** tomorrow's Saturday, I have nothing to do, but you're cool, so wanna head out for coffee?

**(Hero goes very, very red.)**

**Hero Şervan:** O-oh...? Of course! Of course! Who, ah...wouldn't want to hang out, like...with you?

**Evîn Şerr:** Well, maybe my cousin Miri. But aside from her! I think *everyone* likes me here. Aaaaaaanyway, be sure to show up!

**(She grins, then walks away. Hero blinks.)**

**Hero Şervan:** I-I'm going out with Evîn, I'm going with Evîn, I...

**(His face pales.)**

**Hero Şervan:** O-oh gods. I'm going out with Evîn! This is...this is...*THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!!*

**(He knocks on Fang Serpent and Tarîtî Nexweşî's dorm door. Tarîtî answers and Hero tries his best to sound intimidating as always.)**

**Hero Şervan:** Spawn of Nergal, I require your assistance!

**Tarîtî Nexweşî:** No.

**(He quickly closes the door in Hero's face)**

**Hero Şervan:** Oh come on! Open the door. I really need your help!

**Tarîtî Nexweşî:** I don't help jerkwads like you.

**Hero Şervan:** Come on, pleeeease??? I'm going on a date with Evin and I don't want to mess this up!

**Tarîtî Nexweşî:** Ugh, fine! But ya gotta promise me that you'll be less of a butt. Got it?

**Hero Şervan:** What did you just-

**(He sighs.)**

**Hero Şervan:** Ugh. Fine. Whatever. Just help me out here.

**(The camera cuts to the next day at Hocus Latte Cafe, Hero is waiting for Evîn at a table, he looks at Tarîtî and Mirî, who are sitting behind him, nervously)**

**Mirî Irkalla:** I can't believe you've agreed to do this.

**Tarîtî Nexweşî:** Hey, he was begging me to help him.

**Mirî Irkalla:** Wow, that's pathetic. Anyway, shhh! She's coming!

**(Evîn walks into the cafe and sits down at the table with Hero. He peeks at the flashcards that Tarîtî gave him.)**