Chapter 18

The first grade girl, Miu Goto, introduces herself to Akira, calling Akira "Big Sister"!

## Features of This Chapter

### Transition Milestones

Akira is being looked up to as a 'big sister' and role model, something that makes Akira uneasy, as she recalls that she was a bratty boy, hardly any kind of good example.

### Relationship Evolution

In the first hint of emotional trouble between Rumi and Akira, Rumi feels jealousy toward Akira when Miu takes an instant liking to Akira, calling her 'big sister'.

### Lessons Learned

Akira learns to put other ones welfare ahead of her own, when she recognizes Miu's asthma attack and goes for help.

ORE GA WATASHI NI NARU MADE ( UNTIL I BECOME ME )

CHAPTER 18 OF THE MANGA (Revised English Translation)

## Previously

On St. Valentine's Day, Akira tried to make amends for the many things that happened to her during the final weeks of the fifth grade school year. She did this by means of the chocolate exchanges that occurred on the holiday. Fortunately, it did turn out that she graduated to the sixth grade. And now the new school term begins. Akira finds out that Rumi, and others, are still together in class. However, the sixth grade students have to begin to escort the first grade students to the school building every morning. One particular first grade girl takes notice of Akira.

## This Chapter's Story

Akira has met up with the other sixth grade girls who escort the first graders to school. One first grade girl in particular stares intently at Akira for a while, not saying a thing, but with labored breathing. Finally, the little girl properly introduces herself, with a surprising comment---

" Hello! I'm Miu Goto. Nice to meet you, **Big Sister With Braids !** "

Miu has apparently taken an instant liking to Akira, so much so that she begins immediately calling Akira 'Big Sister'! Akira is quite taken aback. Miu explains that the day she was in the hospital, she saw an older girl in a pretty, plaid dress. The girl she saw was so happy and carefree! She looked *so cute* in that dress! (The girl in the dress that Miu saw was Akira {see Chapter 12}). Miu then declares out loud that she really admires that cute girl, and when she grows up, she really wants to be as beautiful as 'Big Sis'! Akira downplays herself, saying to herself that she actually has armpit hair growing on her right now.

    Mui lays it on thick as she predicts that Akira is so pleasingly tall, and everything that she wants to be as a young woman. Again, Akira symbolically tortures herself by telling herself that she is so sorry, but *she was born a 'MALE', and used to be a* ***naughty boy***, as well as now being one of the shortest girls in her class.

Rumi tells Miu that we have to go. As the group walks, Miu goes on and on. She says she wants to be an adult as soon as possible, so she can drive, wear a pretty dress and high heels to work, wear makeup, and to be able to do anything that she wants! Akira begins holding hands with Miu, and hopes that she will turn out to be a good person. However, far from good, Akira sees a naughty boy begin to step into the busy street. Rumi grabs him, pulls him back, and scolds him, but he retorts with an insult to Rumi. Rumi comes back with the thought that such an attitude won't do you any good, and will get you nowhere. Akira thinks that the boy will have a bad time because "Destiny" will punish him, just like it did to me ! This, unfortunately, draws up another unpleasant memory for Akira. Akira says to herself with a stab of pain---

" ***I*** (lit. *Ore* {masculine}) was proud of being like that (a bratty male) when I was in first grade ....... "

Miu again looks lovingly at Akira; to her Akira is already an adult woman and role model.

In the school building, the first graders are lead to the area where they change into their white school shoes. The bad boy is again running, so again Rumi yells at him. Akira tries to comfort Rumi by telling her not to let anger spoil her pretty face. Next, Akira notices that Miu is standing by her shoe compartment, but is not moving. Akira asks Miu if she knows where her own shoes are ? Is she very tired ? But what is happening right now is so much more distressing. Miu seems to be shivering and breathing heavily. Akira asks what is wrong ? Are you exhausted from the walk ? Miu is partly bent over, has her hands covering her heart, and is wheezing. Still, she says that it is 'nothing'. " What the....? ", groans Akira. Miu is now sitting down on the floor, propped up by the shoe rack. Akira is on her knees, in front of her, leaning over her, and again asking what is wrong ? Her wheezing is getting louder and louder. Akira calls for Rumi, asking her to watch over Miu, as Akira runs to get help from a teacher. In the meantime, Miu has fished out her inhaler, and is pumping it into her mouth.

Soon, Miu and the two girls, Akira and Rumi, are in the Infirmary. Miu is sitting upright in bed. The nurse informs the two that the asthma attack has been stopped for the time being, thanks to you two. The nurse has also called Miu's parents to come and pick her up. Miu bows as best as she can, and apologizes deeply. Rumi says that she has nothing to apologize for. She explains that she begged her mother to let her come to school, so she could meet her 'big sister' (Akira), even though she did not feel all that well. Miu goes on to say that she will not be so selfish from now on. Another half-buried memory stabs Akira in her heart, that of the many times that she had to apologize to Mom for her supposedly being selfish about her wanting to be a girl.

" Let's go to school together again sometime soon ! ", boldly states Akira to Miu. " Even if it is not tomorrow, or the day after ........ ***I*** (lit. *Watashi* {feminine}) will always be waiting for you ! Don't worry, it's not your fault ! " Miu takes Akira's hands into hers, and thanks her profoundly---

" THANK YOU, BIG SIS AKIRA ! "

Rumi looks on with a silent twinge of jealously. " Big Sis, indeed! "

## Chapter Lookback, Commentary, and Opinion

It seems that the soulful and intimate girl-with-girl friendship between Rumi and Akira may have developed a tiny crack. Will the beginning of such a tiny rift between Akira and Rumi over Rumi's jealously become a problem for the both of them ?

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