Floors of Serventent

*"Maybe it wasn't meant to be."*This article contains or refers to content that is cancelled, scrapped or left indefinitely unfinished.

## Floors of Serventent

### Played Through

February 21st, 2023 - April 4th, 2023 (Pre-Hiatus), May 8th (date of cancellation)

### Players

Chris-tian Mothman
FennekinGalaxy
Deeto
Kaiju
Grey
RottenDoll
C.D

### Next Campaign by the DM

Death's Gambit

**Floors of Serventent**, often referred to as **Floors**, was the seventh campaign held by the members of Flafa. It was the first campaign DM'ed by Inkunn. It featured Chris-tian Mothman as Turkeytail Rustgill, FennekinGalaxy as Ozzie, Deeto as Kander, RottenDoll as Copper, Kaiju as Gruckles the Clown, Grey as Kenrick Rowborn, and C.D as Edward "E.D" Delmont. It started on February 21st, 2023, and went on an indefinite hiatus starting on April 4, 2023 and was formally cancelled on May 8th, 2023 due to Ink's computer breaking and all the necessary files being lost.

## Storyline

### Session 1: Ground Floor (2/21/23)

Starting Characters: Gruckles the Clown, Turkeytail Rustgill, Kander, E.D, Copper, Ozzie

The party started in the town of Mez to prepare for their entry into the Adventurer's Guild. First, E.D took a long piss in the Mezian river, before the party eventually decided to go to the Grand Library. Once they are inside, Kander asked the receptionist for a cookie, to which he was granted one, and Gruckles asked for books on how to make bombs, which he studied to perfection. The only party member notably absent from the library was Copper, as no horses were allowed inside. Turkeytail searched the library for gardening books for his daughter Amanita, to which he found some. Gruckles proceeded to go back up to the clerk, and asked for books on both marijuana and methamphetamines. Somehow, the library had books on meth, but not on marijuana. Kander reads a book that tells of the Chainsaw Devil, and Gruckles throws the meth book out the window thanks to not understanding its contents. Kander moves over to where Turkeytail is to help him look for cookbooks, meanwhile Gruckles is looking for hentai magazines. Ozzie joins Kander and Turkeytail in the search for cookbooks and teaches Turkeytail the cuisine of his people, lasagna. Gruckles finally reads the hentai magazine, but unfortunately gains negative rizz from doing so. Turkeytail checks out the gardening book and the dessert cookbook, before Gruckles stealthily steals the hentai magazine. Gruckles proceeded to hit the nae nae on the clerk, while E.D hit the floss next to him. E.D then goes to search for a book on the tower they are looking for, but the book he finds doesn’t tell him anything. Gruckles then asks for the Anarchist’s Cookbook, to which the receptionist doesn’t have a clue as to what he’s talking about. The receptionist accidentally misgendered Gruckles, and Gruckles spilled his booze on the receptionist and called him a homophobic slur before getting the group (or perhaps just him) banned from the library.

The party then enters the cafe, inside of which they find a strange man with anime-esque hair. The party questions his hair, his name and his origins, to which he tells them that he is named Goinky. He tells them that his mother is retarded, and that is why he is named what he is. Meanwhile, Ozzie, Gruckles, and E.D went up to the tender of the bar, asking for sarsaparilla, beer and scotch respectively, all of which had to pay. When Copper asked for vodka, the tender gave it to her on the house. Suddenly, Goinky left for unknown reasons. Gruckles then asked the tender for lean, to which the tender told him that it is illegal and he can only give it to him for an absurdly high price. Suddenly, a man had his money stolen, and only after Copper took a really fat dump on the floor did the party investigate.

Once the burglar was found, he was identified as none other than the meth demon himself, before being promptly killed by Gruckles and Turkeytail. Gruckles snorts a portion of the meth demon’s body, as the demon is made entirely of meth. Kander goes back into the cafe to return the money, before Gruckles tasted the meth from the meth demon without snorting it. This almost kills him. Gruckles goes back to harvest some of the meth, and makes the exact amount of money selling it that the man had stolen from him by the meth demon in the first place. Gruckles showed anime tiddies to the nearest bar attendee, making him really happy. Gruckles stole beer from behind the counter, but not without alerting the tender, causing him to be chased for long enough by him that the tender died of exhaustion. E.D used this opportunity to steal some alcohol for himself. After the tender died, Copper used her tongue and face to rob the register before Gruckles gave the whole bar free beer.

Finally, the party went to the Adventurer’s Hub, in which they find Goinky once again. He is in the process of signing up for the Adventurer’s Guild, which the party also signs up for. Copper evades the need to pay by pretending she is simply the party’s steed. Gruckles managed to convince Goinky to pay for his entry for him, before hitting the nae nae once again on the register.

Before going on the adventure proper, the party stops in the market for a quick pit stop. E.D and Gruckles ask about drugs and pussy products, and the party, among other things, buys a large number of healing potions. Ozzie samples some of the butcher’s finest lasagna, remarking it’s even better than his. Later, Gruckles killed the butcher, before the authorities were called on him. He evaded punishment once again.

Once ready to travel to the first tower, the party finds a mariner that will take them across the ocean to reach it. Gruckles teleported across the ocean before teleporting back. The mariner recognizes Gruckles as a wanted man however, and attempts to report him, being persuaded out of it by Gruckles, further adding to the amount of times he’s evaded punishment for his action. Once at the tower, the party is met with a locked gate, before Goinky reunites with them on a separate boat from the same mariner somehow. The mariner finally leaves them, not to return, leaving the party stranded. Copper kicks down the door of the tower, and they enter.

### Session 2: The Royal Inquisition (2/28/23)

Starting Characters: Gruckles the Clown, Turkeytail Rustgill, Kander, E.D, Copper, Ozzie

E.D falls asleep on Copper’s back and starts taking a nap as the rest of the party moves on. Once ascended to the first floor, they find themselves in the Kingdom of Thyra and are centered in its capital city of Thyra. Immediately, without hesitation, Gruckles goes back on his search for knowledge on methamphetamines, first going to the library to look for HowToBasic’s book on meth before going to the West Harbor to see if any of them know where to find drugs. They tell him they do not know, but a shady man in the alleyway attempts to sell him some. Upon Gruckles asking the man if he knew how to make meth, or if he knew any contacts that did, he denied having either. In response, Gruckles beat the man to a pulp with his bottle before claiming his meth for himself.

Meanwhile, Kander, alongside Copper, asks for an audience with the king, to which he is granted one. He asks the king about the barrier, and is told that the king of the neighboring Trieilian Empire is the one responsible, and that they should talk to him. All the while, Gruckles is selling more stolen meth. Copper tries to sneak off to steal some of the king’s riches, but gets caught and fails to deceive the guards as to her true intentions. With Copper and Kander being thrown out of the castle, Ozzie, Copper and Gruckles plan to infiltrate the castle for loot, with Kander and Turkeytail staying behind as their distraction.

Turkeytail, being an old man, tries to get some of the guards to help him cross the street, but fails. Kander yells about how all of his sex toys have been stolen, and that somehow succeeds instead. The other three make their way into the castle gardens, and Ozzie switches his ring to good fortune in preparation of something going wrong, and lockpicks the door into the main hall. This allows Copper to sneak back into the king’s throne room and kill him with a lethal kick, failing to convince the guards that she was the new king, but successfully convinces them by puppeteering the dead king’s body to state that he transferred ownership to her. Gruckles claims that the whole incident was “just a prank”. Gruckles and Ozzie then loot the castle’s treasury, with Ozzie using his good fortune to effectively double the gold they scrounged from 6 to 13.

As the new queen, Copper allows Kander and Turkeytail to enter the castle, before the whole party takes some gold from the treasury. For some reason, the gold they acquired was luck-based, with Kander taking 32, Turkeytail taking exactly 1, Copper and Ozzie claiming 78, and Gruckles not claiming any. Kander, seeing Turkeytail’s lack of gold gain, donates some of his earnings to him.

Almost immediately after this event, Gruckles heads to the nearest nightclub and asks one of the hookers, known for her extremely blocky head, to give him a lapdance “like from GTA”. She obliges, but only for a hefty fee, but Gruckles convinces her to give it to him for free as long as he doesn’t tell anyone.

Ozzie, being hungry, asks Kander and Turkeytail if they want to grab something to eat, to which Turkeytail, not needing to eat, suggests Long John Silver’s. The whole party goes there, and using Copper’s new influence, orders one of everything for completely free. The party takes a long rest at the castle before heading further. Shortly after, E.D reawakens.

Gruckles soon goes on the hunt for a crackhead to sell meth to, finding one that is named Skyler White, thereafter Gruckles claims that he is the reincarnation of Walter Hartwell White. Gruckles kills Skyler, looting her body for more supplies, also learning how to make meth in the process. Meanwhile, Copper rallies a small troop of guards to take with her as backup.

Finally entering Thieu, Queen Copper is given a royal introduction by Ozzie and Turkeytail. Shortly after, Copper finds a carriage to cart the party around with. Almost immediately after entering the town, Kander sought out an “evil person”, eventually finding the Pig Devil. As the Pig Devil is about to hit him, Ozzie breaks the Pig Devil’s focus, but not well enough to stop himself from being hit. Soon, Copper heals this injury back up, before Gruckles lands the killing blow with his bottle. After this, Copper looks for a horse stripper to give her a good time, and scores a nat 20, before Gruckles lands a consecutive nat 20 to shove a bomb up the stripper’s asshole, killing him instantly.

Shortly after, Turkeytail comes to the Trieilian Emperor to initiate diplomacy between him and Queen Copper. Dissatisfied with their new ruler, Kander tries to rat out Copper as a fake to the emperor, before both crews of guards back up their respective monarchs. Soon, the emperor’s son, Prince Creig, makes his debut, before being kicked by Kander out of sheer hatred. In order to keep good faith with the emperor, the party attempts to sell out Kander, and the emperor agrees to take down the barrier as long as they take Creig with them. They oblige, but only after requesting absurd child support payment values.

Soon after, Goinky reunites with the party, having been researching in the library about how to take down the barrier before the party got it done. Gruckles soon feeds Creig some of his meth, and he gets so high that he permanently grows pupils. Goinky confirms to the party that he is a drug addict, and buys some of Gruckles’ meth.

Shortly after, Copper goes on the hunt for another Devil, finding the Fox Devil. E.D convinced this Devil to consume meth on use instead of skin, giving the Fox Devil’s power to Creig. Gruckles teaches Creig to make meth with him, high-fiving him.

### Session 3: The Chicken One (3/21/23)

Starting Characters: Turkeytail Rustgill, Kander, E.D, Copper, Ozzie

With the party finally having taken down the barrier, they swim across the ocean to the nation of Hitia, landing in the town of Tieronti. Without hesitation, they immediately head to the Chicken Orchard, wherein E.D adopted a chicken. The party then goes Devil hunting once again, finding the Thunder Devil. Shortly after the party struck down the Devil, Gruckles returns from a meth deal and attempts to feed the chicken meth, to which it doesn’t bite. Disappointed in Creig for his lack of meth sales, Gruckles goes out on his own for a while in an attempt to sell more and find a new partner. Kander is the lucky one able to obtain the Thunder Devil’s powers, and smites a man.

### Session 4: Kander in Harlem (3/28/23)

Starting Characters: Gruckles the Clown, Turkeytail Rustgill, Kander, E.D, Copper, Ozzie, Kenrick Rowborn

In the town of Tieronti, Copper goes to Ghost Alley and finds a ghost, beginning to talk to it. The ghost seems friendly. Gruckles asks it if it knows where riches are, and it says no, and upon being asked if it is useful, it says no. When Copper asks if it can give head, it says it refuses to answer. Upon being asked by Turkeytail about the secret to lasagna, the ghost tells Turkeytail and Ozzie that the secret is love. Kander asks the ghost about the tower, and this breaks the ghost’s perception of reality. It enters a sort of “glitched state” and is rendered unfixable. It is essentially dead despite being a ghost. Turkeytail finds another ghost, and as a test asks it about the tower again, with the same effect being reached.

Meanwhile, Copper leaves to go find horse strippers as Gruckles hunts for clussy. Both returning shortly thereafter unsuccessful, Turkeytail tries to merge the glitched ghosts together, though he is unsuccessful. Gruckles takes some time to merge the two ghosts together, this time succeeding, resulting in an explosion of blue magic goop. Turkeytail takes a sample of dirt covered in the slime.

The party soon goes to the fortress and finds Kenrick Rowborn locked up. Copper soon runs to the jail’s impound lot, finding gold for everyone and returning Kenrick’s gear. Turkeytail questions how Kenrick was apprehended, and he tells him that he was fighting a demon that turned out to be using the king as his vessel, and got detained for killing the king. Shortly after, Copper uses her royal influence to free Kenrick.

The party soon crosses through the Bareran Theocracy and the Motosian Union to reach Malesia, stopping in its capital of Anil. They visit the infamous Three Stairs, with Ozzie climbing them first try, reaching the top effortlessly and finding the castle above. Turkeytail also had no issues. Kander attempts to push Copper down the stairs, but failed so hard that he threw himself down the stairs. E.D tripped up the stairs, but then remembered he had a chicken and used it to fly up the stairs by grabbing it by the feet. Ozzie had to shift his ring into good fortune mode in order for Kander to stop falling down the stairs and make it up. Kenrick effortlessly wind jumps and wind dashes up the stairs. With the party all at the top, Turkeytail and Ozzie once again give Copper a royal introduction, with Kander unsuccessfully trying to kick down the door. As a last resort, he threw Creig through the window to unlock the door from the inside. After an unsuccessful assassination on the part of Kander, Copper mule-kicks the king, becoming the new queen in the process. Kenrick, eager to rule land, threatened to turn Copper into glue, before Copper uncovered two more crowns in the castle’s repositories.

Turkeytail reads the tapestries, attempting to learn more about the land. All the while, Copper enlists two more knights, having her guard carry the cart down the many stairs. The guards trip and the cart goes careening down the stairs. Kenrick is not in the cart, but ends up struck by the falling cart, losing an arm and a leg in the process. Ozzie wild-shapes into a cat to escape, and Turkeytail ends up unharmed. Copper is fine, as other guards were carrying her, and E.D ends up with minor injuries. Copper heals all of the injuries, and the party takes a quick detour to Long John Silver’s once again.

After this short detour, the party heads to the Honey Arch, wherein they find a race of anthropomorphic bees that can transform into regular bees. Turkeytail pets one of the bees shortly before it transforms into an anthropomorphic one, much to his dismay. Kander finds a very attractive bee woman and tries to fornicate with her, getting stung in the process. He found another, and successfully seduced her with a bee dance, having nearly infinite stamina before getting her pregnant. They get together and the bee reveals her name to be Jennifer.

### Session 5: The Rat One (4/4/2023)

Starting Characters: Turkeytail Rustgill, Kander, E.D, Copper, Ozzie

The party travels to Parde, capital city of the island nation of Luzondia, and enters the Ratbowl district. Gruckles goes there in search of a rat, and Copper started questioning the townsfolk of the Holy Garfield, to which they have not heard anything of him. Gruckles takes one of the rats and adopts him, naming him Little Cook. The party travels to the castle, wherein Copper failed to persuade the guards that she was a queen, until E.D used a little better encouragement. Copper finds the king, after which Ozzie asks him about the Holy Garfield. Him and E.D start to educate him about them before Gruckles talks of Gothfield. Ozzie, angered at the king’s betrayal of Garfield, kills the king and passes the crown off to Copper, calling himself her personal assassin. He and Turkey give Copper a praise, wherein Ozzie accidentally mistitles Copper, calling her a lady instead of a queen, with Turkeytail calling him a nunce in response.

## Notable Memes

* Gruckles the Clown
* Lasagna
* Meth
* Copper
* Goinky's name and hair
* Queen Copper
* Skyler White
* Prince Creig
* The chicken
* Long John Silver's
* Kander in Harlem
* The Bees
* Little Cook
* The Holy Garfield

## Trivia

* Floors is Ink's first campaign DM'ing for Flafa.
* Floors was the first campaign wherein Chris and Fenn could both play together in the party since Rohan's Campaign over a year prior.
	+ Floors also shares the fact that it was cancelled with Rohan's Campaign, for different reasons.
* Floors almost had to have its party split into two groups for its duration due to it originally having nine players, instead of the seven it has now.
* Floors was the first appearance of Spook as a player.
* Floors was the second campaign in which a player conceived a child during the campaign's events, the first being Travescot.
* Floors is the first campaign to have another campaign running alongside it, its companion being Gravity Star. This became irrelevant however, as Floors went on hiatus shortly after Gravity Star began, with Ink's computer breaking shortly thereafter, formally cancelling it.