Scary Marlowe

This page contains possibly major spoilers for the events of the podcast. Scroll at your own risk.

## Scary Marlowe

Scary Marlowe as portrayed in the Season 2 cover art by Alex Moore.

### Aliases

Theresa Marlowe
 (birth name)"Terry" (formerly)

### Relatives

Ron Stampler (step-step-grandfather)
Veronica Marlowe
Terry Stampler, Jr.

### Affiliation

D.A.D.D.I.E.S.
Willy Stampler (formerly)
Normal Oak
Lincoln Li-Wilson
Taylor Swift
Hermie the Unworthy
"Dood"

## Teen Facts

* + Ep1: Instead of using her full name, Theresa, after her mom married Terry Jr., she changed it to Scary.
	+ Ep2: Her therapist suggested she write letters to her step-dad, which turned into passive aggressive post-it notes.
	+ Ep3: She is left-handed.
	+ Ep4: She believes that Terry Jr’s note to self is a cool code and has been putting it into an anagram generator. So far she has a few guesses, such as ‘Haw, Neurochemistry’ and ‘Munchie Sea Worther’.
	+ Ep5: The first crush that she had was on the evil penguin in ‘The Pebble and The Penguin’. His name is Drake.
	+ Ep6: She wants to be in a hardcore heavy metal rock band, but cannot play the guitar. She decided to start playing the cello instead, because she could fit a guitar in the cello case but her parents found out and keep telling her she can’t play the guitar.
	+ Ep7: She is the head of the Students for Realism in Fiction Initiative, a book club that argues that books like ‘Lord of the Rings’ or ‘The Martian’ or ‘Anne Green Gables’ have happy endings incompatible with the true human experience, and that the school’s curriculum should focus on books like ‘The Road’ or ‘Less Than Zero’ that reflect everyday tragedies of human existence. (Plus, the acronym is pronounced like Suffer).
	+ Ep8: Last year she wanted to get a tongue ring but her mom said no. So she put a binder clip on the tip of her tongue, and cut the circulation off, turning her tongue bluish-black. After taking the clip off, her tongue went back to normal.
	+ Ep9: Her favorite color is Mole’s Breath from Home Depot, which is a very very dark shade of gray.
	+ Ep10: She was born in November, but instead of being a Sagittarius, she is an Ophiuchus.
	+ Ep11: She drinks black coffee, but when people aren’t looking she puts some sugar in there. A lot of sugar.
	+ Ep12: Last week, she was Doodlerized.
	+ Ep13: When she played soccer, her nickname was The Waterfall, because the one time she played goalie she was really good at it, but she cried the whole time.
	+ Ep14: The closest she has ever gotten to bonding with Terry Jr is when he gave her a glass of strawberry lemonade and called it demonade because it was red. She thought that was cool, but then he wanted to watch ‘Fly Away Home’ which she considers to be Dad Propaganda (AKA Papaganda).
	+ Ep15: She often dreams of the merch she will sell when she’s in a famous band. One of these items is torn pants that have Velcro so you can put them back together, called the Tear-Up Flare-Ups.
	+ Ep16: The only part-time job she had was making a lemonade stand when she was 10 years old, but she didn’t sell anything because she was ‘too aggro’.
	+ Ep17: Her only other part-time job was a few months ago, where she worked at a VHS and CD store. She was fired because she was more preoccupied with the store’s Spotify playlist than with actually helping customers.
	+ Ep18: The concept album about these adventures with her friends is going to be called ‘The Calzone Killas’.
	+ Ep19: Her favorite goth joke is: How did the Goth kid break up with his girlfriend? He sang her You Are My Sunshine.
	+ Ep20: Her favorite word is ‘Ache’, because it’s both a noun and a verb, and is closely aligned to the feelings of her soul.
	+ Ep21: She still plays the wordle, and loses every time because her six guesses are always the same: Awful, Angry, Annoy, Cruel, Gross, Inane. She has gotten it right six times.
	+ Ep22: Despite being a star soccer player, she has never been injured while playing, though she wishes she had been for the attention.
	+ Ep23: The worst injury she’s ever had is from slamming her finger in her locker when someone called her ‘Terry’ at school. It was recently, so her finger still clicks.
	+ Ep24: She has never met her step-grandfather, Ron Stampler, but has heard that he disappeared and is presumed dead. All they found were a bunch of worms, some of Ron and Darryl’s beer, and a pair of Bermuda shorts on his boat, ‘The Salty Swallow’.
	+ Ep25: Her least favorite song is the birthday song, because ‘people will just join in like sheeple’, without really caring about whose birthday it is.
	+ Ep26: During the two months that they were watching anime with Tony Pepperoni, she was writing the lyrics to her band, Butthole Ricochet’s, forthcoming album. She also has no regrets.
	+ Ep27: The last 48 hours have been the best hours of her life since before Terry Jr joined her family, because no one is questioning her decisions, telling her what to do, or arbitrarily arguing with her.
	+ Ep28: Her favorite sound is the sound of silence followed by a slight chuckle, followed by ‘Oh, okay’, which is the sound of someone’s feelings being hurt really badly by a joke.
	+ Ep29: This is what was going through her head at the end of the last episode: ‘I’m writing this in my head, no pen. the pain in my head is a 10 out of 10. hand? or should I say lack thereof. the fires of hell fit like a glove. 10 pain, 0 friends. 22 take the pitch. I’ll win this game faster than y’all said bitch.’
	+ Ep30: Her favorite animal is the Pied Flycatcher.
	+ Ep31: For the last year, all of the teacher’s comments at the bottom of her report card were varied, but now they all say ‘A pleasure to have in class’. There is definitely some sort of violent coercion going on with the teachers from her.
	+ Ep32: Her favorite genre of music is Kidz Bop, because nothing is darker than a child singing the lyrics of Closer by The Chainsmokers.
	+ Ep33: Her favorite beverage is decaf Earl Grey tea. It’s a black tea, and is decaf because caffeine makes her jittery.
	+ Ep34: She has never watched, heard, or consumed comedy. If there was a specific standup form called misery (that wasn’t heavy metal or poetry), she would be all over that.
	+ Ep35: (Terry Marlowe) She actually likes scary movies sometimes, but not too scary. Things like Labyrinth or The Great Mouse Detective.
	+ Ep36: (Terry Marlowe) She likes spicy food. When she goes to a Thai restaurant, she asks for medium spicy, but sometimes that’s a little too spicy.
	+ Ep37: (Terry Marlowe) She doesn’t really like poetry, she hasn’t read a lot. But her favorite poem is called ‘Monsters I’ve Met’ by Shel Silverstein.
	+ Ep38: When Terry Jr first moved into her mom’s house, he introduced his recipe for Potatoes au gratin. She doesn’t like any type of potato, refused to eat them, and called them Potatoes au rotten. One night, she snuck down and tried it and thought it was delicious.
	+ Ep39: When she first became goth, her mom was concerned and wanted to take her to a therapist that specialized in depression. To this, she said ‘I don't have depression. Are there any therapists who specialize in normal reactions to a fucked up world?’, and her mom dropped it.
	+ Ep40: After doing some research on TikTok, she believes she has ‘delayed onset insult phasa’, a disease where when you want to say something mean to someone, you can’t think of what to say until they leave.
	+ Ep41: When she grows up, she wants to open a French bread shop, because it’s all about the pain.
	+ Ep42: She has never really believed in heaven, and believes only in the great polytheistic religion of Ancient Rome, because ‘all of the gods and goddesses were just as fucked up as she is, and they were really hot’.
	+ Ep43: She is unknowingly the benefactor of extreme generational wealth. Ron Stampler went into business with Beth May to sell ‘The Unsinkable Love-Float for Two’, a door shaped pool float. They made millions of dollars, and Beth is hoarding all of the money now that Ron is dead.
	+ Ep44: She doesn’t run errands, she walks errands. She’s got time.
	+ Ep45: Her favorite planet (in our solar system) is Mercury, because it has the longest day, which also means it has the longest night, which is the longest time to write poetry, focus on regrets and be sad.
	+ Ep46: She headed a petition to rename Emo Music to ‘Black Metal’, because she thinks it sounds cooler.
	+ Ep47: She plays the piano, because if you rearrange the letters it spells Pain-o.
	+ Ep48: This was the first funeral that she’s ever been to, if you don’t count the AI Reunion Arcade Fire concert that she went to, whose album ‘Funeral’ was released in 2004.