Rob the Zombie

**Robert Zamboni** (more commonly known as Rob Zombie) was the winner of The Monster Madness Tournament and a member of Team Mourning Wood. It's said Robert always has his life flashing before his eyes.

In life, Rob was a nice guy and a shoe cobbler. Rob drove a Zamboni machine which he had retrofitted so that he could drive it on the road and give people rides. Unfortunately, it took up too many lanes so it wasn't exactly street legal. Rob was very hospitable and would often politely offer hitchhikers handjobs. Hitchhikers often stole from Rob and one fateful day he was killed by one. He also enjoyed collecting colourful socks.

## The Monster Madness Tournament

### **Round 1**

In round 1, Rob fights Arthur Treacher the Winged Kobold. In the fight, Rob grabs the mic twice realising both times he can't speak. Arthur flies up into the sky to drops a rock on Rob which causes part of his shoulder to come off. After, Rob lands a devastating hit to Arthur which knocks him out the air and kills him. Rob then eats Arthur thinking he's eating a sandwich.

### **Round 2**

In the final match of the second round, Rob fought Snake the Giant Wolf Spider. In the fight, Spider was still struck by the grief of losing the love of his life (Jack Skeleton) not long ago. Even the decomposed image of Rob reminded Snake of Jack, the fight forcing him to relive the experience. With tears in his eight yellow wolf eyes, Snake went to kiss Rob, trying to find an escape in a new lover. Rob declined this advance wholeheartedly, having shipped Jack with Legolas the Drow. Rob slammed Snake and did a large amount of damage. Snake, barely holding on, saw the image of Jack as his reality started to blur. As Snake saw that the finishing blow against him was coming, he said "*I deserve it for what I have done"*. Rob then slammed Snake into oblivion, making his legs fly off in all directions. The crowd booed heavily as all their favorite monsters were dying. At this point, the barely alive Snake looked up and sees a bony golden hand extend from above which pulled Snake away into the astral plane.

### **Semi-Finals**

In the first match of the semi-finals, Rob fights Legolas the Drow. During the fight, Rob flexes and flesh falls off of him. The fight mostly continues as them just missing each other until Rob lands a hit that kills Legolas, a chance Rob takes to slowly eat Legolas.

### **Finals**

In the finals, Rob fights John Elway the Flying Sword. Before the fight starts it can be seen there's a lot of support for John Elway, though there is a sub-section of goths under the bleachers rooting and vaping for Rob. In the fight, Rob starts to win the crowd more and flexes his legs. After some tired back and forth, Rob flexes his butt muscles. After some more hits, Rob tries to get the attention of the crowd because he's going to put on a show. Rob grabs John out the air, puts him between his butt cheeks, and from the strength and heat John Elway the Flying Sword is shattered. John Elway (The Wizard) then ages 100 years. Rob leaves the arena with Peder's son to go fishing with him as his dad was killed by Legolas the Drow. As Rob is being asked to shake Lord Beran's shit son's hand, a blue and orange spirit rises from John's shattered form and rushes into the shit son causing him to EXPLODE and give form to a giant John Elway the football player.

### **Appearance of John Elway**

Around Rob, his previous opponents begin to come back to life, infected by his zombie curse. He sees Arthur Treacher flying up to John Elway and yells "Zombies have no fear!" and flexes. Arthur is promptly killed. Later, rob slams Johns balls and give him a 'lil nut pinch. Rob tries another nut slam but misses. Rob tries ANOTHER nut slam but misses. Rob tries a nut slam again but hits it. After Lord Beran Murphial yells out some inspiration, Rob grabs a greasy Johnathon Elsingway (the flying football) from the air, reels back, and chucks a perfect sprial. However, Giant John Elway starts to move and looks like it's going to miss, but with a glow from the ball, the ball is redirected into John's mouth where it travels in to his stomach, exploding Giant John Elway (The Primary Elway) into a million footballs that turn into stardust. The symbol for the Denver Broncos appears in the sky, and there's peace in the kingdom again.