Blane: The Movie

Stewart talking to Blane about the project

**Blane: The Movie** is the third episode of the first season of St. Hopes, airing on August 27, 1997.

The episode revolves around the class being tasked with making mini-biopic films about themselves. Blane Whittaker decides to make his little film worth every second of creating, even if it reveals certain secret's he's kept from classmates.

## Plot

A new week at St. Hopes, but the same old for the students. Except, Mrs. King is trying something new. The class are tasked with creating little biopics about their lives, either being about their whole life, or just a day in the life.

They aren't meant to be split into groups, however, The Boys group together in secret, spinning a pencil on an eraser under the table. Whoever the pencil points to being the person the film is being made about, and the rest are to participate in it.

The pencil points to Blane. Scoop gets disgruntled as he wanted to chronicle his "life" in the "streets", such as apparently murdering 89 men in a drive-by shooting in St. Hearts, and having sex with a red-head chick at St. Hearts' high school named Zoe.

None of the boys believe him, and they set on to making the biopic. Meanwhile, Avril films her own biopic, a grainy, timestamped 50 second video of herself sitting at her computer writing "MY LIFE IS SOOOOO BOOOOORING" in Microsoft Word.

The boys sit in class, working out the scripts for the narration. Scoop's idea was for Blane to be touted as the ''world's biggest stud with 5 bitches 69ing themselves on his dick at all time and not even American exchange student Chad Turner could beat him'. This obviously falls on displeased ears, however Scoop forces them into doing the narration solely for private viewing.

Blane winds up revealing multiple secrets for the movie, including: wanting to have sex with Daisy Millar, secretly nailing a picture of Fifty Pence to a cross, setting Avril as his second bet if his plan with Daisy falls through, having farted in Mr. Flatley's general direction after eating chow mein, burritos and Taco Bell simultaneously, hiding in a corner and jacking it to pictures of The Slits, and taking a hard long shit in Fifty Pence's pencil case.

They edit the movie into two copies; one with Scoop's narration and one with the appropriate narration and finish it off and send it. However, they realize they had sent the one with Scoop's narration.

The next day, the class are shown the mini biopic movies. Avril's one gets praise for being unconventional, Donovan Butler's biopic was horribly edited, but Blane's biopic stood out. Mrs. Kin, the teacher, stands in shock as footage of Blane with an action movie face walks around the streets with Scoop narrating:

"This is Blane Whittaker. The world's biggest stud. Five bitches sixty-nineing themselves on his dick at all times. You know Chad Turner, that Yankee exchange student right now? Oh, this makes him look like a fucking virgin! This is the biopic of Blane, motherfucking, Whittaker."

The boys are all suspended after the video ends, but they take the tape with them. Bummed, everyone leaves, but Scoop announces: "We don't have to go to school!". They suddenly perk up and cheer, and leave.