Saburo Yanagida

Ginko Yanagida (Obstacle to Inheritance)

Retsu Nikaido (Obstacle to murder)

Kiku (Obstacle to murder)

> I don't care who the IRS sends, I am not paying taxes.
>
> - Saburo, probably

Saburo Yanagida is a minor antagonist on his blog, or at least he would be if he was competent enough at anything to actually pose a threat. The intent is there, and that's what counts, right?

Despite being born into a wealthy family, Saburo's rebellious habits as a teen landed him with a severe gambling addiction that keeps him in mounting debt to half the town, including multiple... Unsavory characters. Any money he makes goes immediately to any of the more threatening people he owes, or towards further gambling and alcohol.

He'd do anything to get more money. Anything.

## About Saburo

Saburo is a miserable drunk bastard who rarely cares for anyone other than himself. His default reaction to any situation is with slurred rudeness and profanity, though he can feign professionalism when it serves his needs, and when he feels like he's winning (At a game, a perceived challenge, or a conversation, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve), the overconfident, condescending rich kid he was in his youth starts shining through once more.

That said, Saburo is always ready to throw away his pride if it means he can make money, or if his life is actively in danger. Those two things are always the most important.

## History of Crimes

### Attempted Murder

Saburo's first appearance on the blog was shortly before the Doom Gala took place. Figuring his father and Ginko would be attending this event, he planned to use the opportunity to disguise himself in the crowded party and poison Ginko under the (mistaken) assumption that with her gone, his family's inheritance would have nowhere else to go but to him, and he can pay back his debts. Ginko's ghostly plus-ones did not take kindly to this intrusion into their territory, and thwarted his attempt. Kinzo and Ginko left the event not realizing Saburo had been there at all. Unable to see ghosts, Saburo assumed the bizarre experience had been a result of the party's alcohol being too strong even for him.

His second attempt to kill Ginko, shoving her down a set of stairs she passed by daily, shattered that illusion for him when he was attacked by the ghosts a second time with no alcohol around to blame the experience on. After coming to the conclusion that it must be supernatural, and a reminder from Shinichi Kurokawa that yakuza families don't like to wait for their money, Saburo armed himself with a salt shaker that he stole from Paula Ashford's cafe and set out to try again. Throwing salt in Retsu's face only attracted the attention of a third ghost and Eijiro Otoishi with a metal bat, so he was forced to flee and nurse his wounds once more.

At this point, Kinzo had been notified of the situation, and paid his son a visit. He told Saburo that he would pay his debt to the yakuza family this once, but if he ever attempted to harm Ginko again, he would no longer send him food or pay his rent, and that if he ever borrowed from the yakuza again, he would not help him a second time. Saburo had no choice but to agree.

### Embezzling

His second significant appearance was his short-lived participation in the Principal King of the Hill, where he distracted Yoku Inori, whacked her over the head with his briefcase, and took her place as principal. He had no plans for actually running the school, as the reason he wanted the position at all was the absolutely absurd amount of money coming into the school since Orlando Kincaid initially took control. He managed to embezzle several million yen and pay off his tab at Paula's, and wagered 12,000 yen with one of the Betting Girls that he would last a week as principal before almost immediately afterwards being thrown out of the principal office's third-story window by Sumi Yukikara after she caught him drinking alcohol there.

He was then healed by Cici Newport. The consequences this will hold are unknown.

### Whatever the Hell was up with the Riddles

Some time later, a biker rolled up to Saburo's apartment, telling him that somebody called "The Professor" wanted to offer him a job. One upsetting motorcycle ride later, he learned that the job was to deliver boxes with ciphers in them to certain houses in exchange for an amount of money that stopped Saburo from questioning why The Professor wanted that. He delivered them to multiple different people's houses and nothing came of it, so he figured he was being compensated by the universe for getting literally thrown out of his last cushy gig. This was proven false when The Professor called for him once more, and while they were meeting, Itachi Kuro was caught snooping around the gang's hideout. Saburo was ordered to help catch him, despite not having a gun, a motorcycle, any muscle, or literally anything else that made the other goons helpful for such a task.

It would turn out the goons weren't that useful anyway. One of them, upon being hit with paint by Itachi, panicked and executed the classic armed-goon-fires-weapon-with-no-accuracy maneuver. He ended up hitting Saburo in the knee and ankle, because of course he did, and the other goons decided that now, and only now for some reason, Saburo was a liability and shouldn't be kept around. They shot him in the other knee, which was unnecessary because he already wasn't going anywhere, but before they could actually kill him, Touya Whatever his last name is showed up and scared them off.

Touya and Itachi took pity on Saburo and agreed to call him an ambulance, even after he threatened to tell the police about their vigilantism if they came to him about his role in this whole business or his shenanigans as principal. He is now in the hospital.

## Further Elaboration on Relationships

### Family

Kinzo Yanagida is Saburo's father. Saburo has long regarded him as a stuffy nag, and has ignored Kinzo completely when he dared tell him how to live his life, like "Maybe you shouldn't hang out with those people" and "Stop stealing money from me" and "Please, Saburo, I am begging you to go to rehab". What does he know? Kinzo has cut Saburo off monetarily because giving him any money is as good as throwing it into a black hole, but sends him groceries twice weekly and pays his rent so he doesn't die. Saburo takes this immensely for granted.

Ginko Yanagida is technically Saburo's adopted sister, but he'd prefer if she were dead so she won't receive their family's entire inheritance. (His assumption is false, neither of his parents would leave their fortune in the hands of a teenager, but that probably still wouldn't change his opinion.)

### Other

Paula Ashford owns a cafe that Saburo has visited frequently enough to rack up a considerable tab in the past. As of now, he's paid it off, but it's likely he'll eventually be back to square one. In an odd, warped way, he's almost come to think of her as the closest thing he has to a friend, even if "This person only cares about you and goes out of their way to contact you because you owe them money" is no basis for any kind of positive relationship, and the feeling probably isn't mutual.

He does not hold her son Maverick Marlboro in the same regard. Jiro Chiba, Eijiro Otoishi, Kai Isu, and Sumi Yukikara are also teenagers that Saburo does not like. He doesn't mind Yoku Inori, but that's only because she was easy to distract and defeat, and he never actually had to talk to her. If he had, he would hate her too. He plans to avoid Cici Newport and the Betting Girls in the future, but this is unlikely to work.

He wants not to like Itachi Kuro and Touya Lastname, but they did stop him from dying, so he has to begrudgingly admit that they're not completely terrible. That said, he doesn't want to see them again either. If they think he owes them anything more than not totally hating them, they can suck it.

Even though Saburo's debt to Shinichi Kurokawa has been paid, he would still piss himself if he ever saw him again.

## Abilities

Saburo has no notable abilities, stand or otherwise, save for his tendency to remain alive despite whatever circumstances he's faced thus far. Saburo Yanagida is a cockroach of a man in multiple regards, and to quote an anonymous message, "He ain't dead, Pika won't let him die."

## Trivia

Kinzo, Ginko, and Saburo follow a naming scheme where the "Kin" in Kinzo means "Gold", the "Gin" in Ginko means "Silver", and Saburo's name is a bit more complicated, but his name means "Third son", and the "Buro" part in english can refer to a shortening of "Buronzu", or "Bronze", which is what I got when I put it through google translate trying to find a way to make the name scheme work, so he gets a big ol' bronze medal either way.

Saburo is one of two characters belonging to Pika that are not some flavor of asexual. This does not matter, because Saburo is completely unfuckable.

Although Saburo displays a more incoherent version of his usual grouchiness when tipsy, he becomes friendlier once he's actually drunk.