Tomb Raider Anniversary

Format: Streamed

Stream Date: 8/20/2021

Cast: Rick, Topsy and Cylon

Episode Title: Tomb Raider (Sorry We Forgot Your) Anniversary

Twitch Episode

Many Faces

Editor's Note: Rick wanted it noted that Topsy and Cylon were especially funny during this stream. Actually, the entire trio absolutely killed it. If you want three hours of nothing but Robot Co-op gloriousness, this stream belongs in the pantheon of best streams. - KK

Other Silliness of Note:

Topsy and Cylon infomercial throughout the stream. Topsy was Billy Mayes.

"The only three things that are inevitable are death, taxes and sex jokes." - Topsy

"Did you know Kid Rock is the Fred Durst of Ted Nugents?" - Topsy

"Give her a break. She's chewin' back a turd. There's not a bathroom for miles." - Topsy

A glitch in the game causes Lara's hair to stretch. It provided so much riffing fodder.

Topsy sing a very Tony-Bennett-esque version of a song called "Save, Die, Load"

"This is how Tinkerbell and Peter Pan make it work." - Rick as Lara Croft slides up and down a giant pole.

As Lara fights a bear, there is a long discussion about "The Revenant". There is much silliness as Rick has not seen it while Topsy and Cylon have.

"It's tit dirt! Looks like Mickey Mouse!" - Topsy

"It's weird to look at wolves and think that's where shih tzus come from." - Topsy

"Save, Die, Load" returned as a call-back song featuring Topsy and Cylon

"My job, at the theater, used to be to go around and give people samples of the things they could buy at the concession counter." - Topsy

"Yeah. You'd get pawed and shit." - Rick

"The kids would come and just throw the corn. I'm like, 'You're not even eating it. You're just making a mess!' And Cylon would come by and sweep it up. I'd be like 'There goes my beautiful thoughts, memories and you people don't even care!' That's when I decided I would just enslave humanity." - Topsy

"That was the straw that broke the Topsy's back." - Cylon

"I'm gonna figure out a way to paw at their heads and eat their brains, waste their thoughts and this is how I do it. This is how I waste humanity's thoughts. You're watching Robot Co-op!" - Topsy

"I gotta weird question for you, Coggers. How many of you sit and watch Robot Co-op like this?" - Rick stares directly into the camera. "You look right at what we're saying, what we're doing. You look right at the game. I think for most of us, and be honest right now, you have this on, off to the side, while you're doing... Or do you point your eyeballs right at us?"

"When we have a conversation, do we look directly into each other's eyes?" - Cylon

"I gotta look at the game." - Rick

"I gotta look at the floor. It's called shame." - Cylon

"This is great for either though. It can be great background noise or it can be great to actually sit here and see, watch what's going on. Because you got a game going. You got your mug. You got my beautiful face right here. You got Johnny Cylon. It's a lot to look at. It's good to look over and see that we're still here." - Topsy

"We're comfort food. Loud, sassy, obnoxious, asshole comfort food." - Rick

Topsy and Cylon have a lovely exchange about the pagan origins of Easter. Some of it was true.

Topsy and Cylon spin a yarn about Topsy ditching on a restaurant check and leaving Cylon to deal with it. Cylon tells of his time in prison because of it. While in prison, Cylon created a gang, properly named "The Jiggle Express" by TheMKZero in chat. There is some discrepancy about Cylon's farewell address to his minions.

{"It's like a slot machine of dumbfuckery." - Rick

"That's like calling Playstation Customer Service." - Topsy

Rick got the Michael Jackson sounds out for the dinosaur battle.

There is a long discussion about the original Gene Wilder "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory."

The crew shows their maturity as they discuss how damaged Lara's body would be after all the things she has done thus far in the game. The discussion includes the inappropriateness of her ensemble for the climate. This leads to a conversation about "musician's cold", a condition which comes from getting sweaty on stage and then loading and unloading in winter weather.

The Butchman, referring back to the Willy Wonka discussion, said "Grandpa Joe is a scumbag bum. He could have walked when ever he wanted to." Rick started to sing that, which Cylon declared to be a Tom Waits song. This song was workshopped for several minutes. After a discussion of Tom Waits, Rick changed the lyrics to "Lara Croft is a scumbag bum." This lead to a video treatment for that song.

Band Name:

Scumbag Within

Celebrities who donated:

Poop Out of a Butt

Vince Offer

Rabbi Snipowitz

Jacques Cousteau

Captain IBS Man

Indiana Jones

Depends Man

Content provided by autumnfog and kathleen\_kenkel

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