Chapter 3

After replenishing nutrients and food supplements for the otherworldly refugees, the gang left Fickensteijn, heading north for the mysterious Outer Heaven. The trip was largely uneventful except for a lethal incident during day 1. However, the second day shit really hit the fan. A flock of flying squirrels had caught wind of the caravan, and began stalking it. The refugees, sensing the danger, grew restless and picked up the pace. Jesus marched up and down the caravan to warn everyone. After 10 minutes of deliberately communicating their preferences for manflesh, the squirrels agreed that a particular sappige man was gonna be their prey, and they dove right at him from the trees. Using their sharp claws at the end of their glider wings, they cut their target mid-flight, incapacitating him. Our heroes stayed inside their carriages like Jesus recommended, but after seeing the man fall, Felipe couldn't help himself but come out in an attempt to save him. Crysis shortly followed the priest and together, they dragged the wounded guy to safety, in the pussywagon. Meanwhile Lord Bennis was enjoying a pedicure from his Chinese scharrel, and refused to let the ruckus outside ruin his treatment. However, after the nervous girl accidentally pinched him in the foot, he got infuriated and rolled the poor girl out of the carriage, throwing her for the wolves.

Meanwhile another noble was looking through the Window of Opportunity of his carriage. He observed the situation as several pedestrians got cut by the vicious monsters. When the squirrels made a move on his driver Franz, he interfered, aka asking the strange men that had been stalking him to do something. Interestingly enough, they obliged. They climbed up to the driver seat, and together they ripped the animal's wings off.

Crysis and Felipe had just extracted the wounded man when the squirrels had it on them foreseen! One of them gave Felipe a nasty cut. Crysis got lucky as his squirrel missed. However, the Chinese girl also got attacked in her ass, or as some would recall it, her back. This meant more work for the heroic part of the gang... so they went and get her.

It was at that moment that Ava ran out of cookies to eat, and a large shadow loomed over everyone. It was a Papa Squirrel, the papa of the squirrels. He was floating overhead, scouring the battlefield for the bounty his children had slain. He found his prey bleeding in the carriage with the loud music. He screamed skraa, and dove right in to secure it. Poor Felipe was in the way and caught a devastating blow in his rear, knocking him out instantly. Lord Bennis needed a hit, so he moved up a little. However, Papa Squirrel had made a horrible miscalculation, as the doorway was just a little too small for his massive body, so he couldn't get out. Ava took this opportunity to really fuck him up with her pole-axe, but alas! She managed to trip over some object and fell flat on her face! What's worse, she damaged the ceiling of Lord Bennis' carriage. Crysis punched the monster with all his might, but to no avail. It seemed all hope was lost, but then... Salvation! Jesus arrived with the two strangers, and they pulled Papa out with a magic vacuum on one hand, and brute force on the other. This violent pull caused the creature's wingbones to break, rendering it immobile. As the motivated strangers kept on kicking the beast into the mud, the rest of the caravan made it safely out of the area. Jesus complimented Lord Bennis for a job well done, and was met with shit.

They moved on. Eventually they reached the side of a mountain, where Jesus pulled up. He knocked on the mountain, and someone opened a secret entrance from the inside. The caravan moved through a long dark tunnel, and eventually they stepped into a sunny valley. They had finally reached Outer Heaven. Jesus let them off the hook for now, promising to see them tonight for their payments.