Pep R. Ridge

"When you live 900 years, you tend to pick up a few things."

### Special Abilities:

Vampire powers, immortality, hulking beast form, laser vision, Tim McGraw, remembering

### Appearances:

Episode 18: Around the World in 80 Flips, Part 1Episode 21: Around the World in 80 Flips, Part 2

Episode 57: Dick and Johnson vs. Memory

Episode 73: Dick and Johnson and As Many Endings As Possible

**Pep R. Ridge** is a 900 year old vampire from the South and an aficionado of Pepperidge Farm cookies. He is a well-traveled, scholarly man, as well as a fierce and relentless fighter. Much like Pepperidge Farm, if it ever happened, he remembers it.

### Biography

Pep was born in the area of today's Biloxi, Mississippi, though long before the city was founded. It is unclear whether he was a normal human before he was turned into a vampire, as he claims he was "born of the ground of the South itself." He still calls the South, specifically maybe-Louisiana, his home, and the Southern accent itself originated from him. Despite being older than the nation, Pep is fiercely loyal to America and believes in and defends her values. Because he was turned into a vampire when he was already of advanced age, he retains the appearance of an elderly man, but is still immortal. As a vampire, Pep's diet consists of human blood, though he can eat Pepperidge farm cookies after having slowly built up a tolerance to them over time. He and his brood of vampires are currently stationed in a dilapidated Transylvanian Castle located 50 feet from Dick & Johnson's base.

### Adventures with Dick and Johnson

Dick and Johnson first met Pep R. Ridge in a pottery class and befriended him over some of his "special cookies." After attacking the class' teacher and burning down the building, Pep accompanied the two to the **Gentlemen's Club of the American South**, where Dick and Johnson accepted a challenge to race around the world. Pep was invited along and, together, they embarked on their journey. The ancient vampire revealed his true nature to his new friends and was accepted without hesitation. On the road, many of the sights, such as Disney World or the Himalayas, reminded Pep of past exploits of his life and he shared much of his wisdom with Dick and Johnson.

During a train ride in Africa, Dick and Johnson were horrified to learn that Pep had fed off of and killed a passenger, but were appeased by his assertion that the man was a terrible person. The three continued through the Middle East, ending all violence in the area, and were then ambushed by their competitor in the race and his hired mercenaries, at the Great Wall of China. In the ensuing battle, Pep revealed his monstrous, hulking vampire form, as well as his laser vision and quickly eliminated all attackers. Since Dick and Johnson were left with no competition in the race, the rest of their travels turned into an eight year vacation, taking them through Tokyo, Hawaii, Hollywood, a Britney Spears concert in Las Vegas, and other detours. On their return to the Gentlemen's Club, Dick and Johnson refused the membership offered to them, seeing that their new friendship with Pep was awarding enough. Instead, Pep R. Ridge brutally slaughtered all the club's members, and the three burned down the club house, leaving together to track down all the club members' friends and relatives to erase it from history and forever prevent it from reforming.

### Other Adventures

Pep claims to have contributed to faking the broadcast of the first moon landing and, like Dick and Johnson, Pep too believes the world to be flat. He has met the actual first man on the moon, **George Washington**, in person.

Pep has seen every movie ever, save the ones that have been released in the most recent years, as he always needs time to catch up. He also contributed to movie history himself, having invented Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, a cartoon character which was subsequently stolen by his friend at the time, Walt Disney.

Pep was part of the first expedition that scaled Mount Everest. He also personally helped finance the construction of the Golden Gate Bridge by going door to door and "persuading" people to donate. Similarly, he has started multiple crowdfounding projects more recently to build the Black Taj Mahal.

Pep formed a brood of vampires currently numbered at 8, consisting mostly of American food icons. It's unknown if he turned any of his fellow vampires himself.

Pep & his brood were responsible for turning Rhonda Munch's family into vampires, forcing her to destroy her undead family so they may find peace.

At some point, Pep & his brood moved into the dilapidated Transylvanian Castle next door to D&J. It was revealed while reminiscing with Dick that he was present during the untold story of the Crazy Builder of the neighborhood, although Dick & Johnson were unaware of the castle next door or Pep living nearby.

Due to past adventures, he and his brood maintain a contentious relationship with Scam Likely.

### Abilities and Equipment

Throughout his long life, Pep R. Ridge has accumulated a long list of skills, abilities, and unique items. He has regenerative vampire powers, fangs, and does not grow old beyond the age he had when he became a vampire. He needs to feed regularly on blood, and when gorging on large amounts at a time, he grows into a hulk like monster with extreme strength, though his head stays the same size during this transformation. He has powerful healing abilities, being able to reform his flesh after severe injury. Pep manages to compensate for a vampire's susceptibility to sunlight through the use of a sunblock, which he accidentally invented while experimenting with cookie rum for new cookie recipes. This sunblock was used as plot device in the movie *Blade*.

He continuously shoots powerful laser beams out of his eyes, which are only contained by special bifocal contact lenses. He shares this power with the X-Man Cyclops, as the character's power is actually based on his. In addition to his super human powers, Pep is also an expert in many different martial arts, including Dick and Johnson's favored Tim McGraw. His level of mastery even includes the style's catchphrase, "Truck yeah!". Pep may or may not command or speak with animals, demonstrated by his plan to call down giant eagles to transport Dick & Johnson to his hideout. Upon failure however, he admitted to the plan being a ruse.

Pep remembers everything—as he likes to state regularly—and constantly studies many fields of science, culture, and pseudo-science. He is an expert nutritionist, as well as an expert cryptozoologist, being friends with the chupacabra and the Yeti, who share his love for food, as a talented pastry chef and a great cook, respectively. Despite his vast knowledge and experience, Pep is always several years behind on popular culture, having just heard of Harry Potter and Hanson by the 2010s, because learning everything else first always takes him several years. This does not affect his stylish sense of fashion, as it is very much timeless. Pep does uncanny impressions of actors such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Christopher Walken, or Keanu Reeves. He is also a priest of the Universal Life Church.

Pep's equipment includes a seemingly endless amount of Pepperidge Farm cookies, most with an "extra special" addition, as well as a cookie mortar that shoots hard cookies shells.

### Vampire Brood

Pep R. Ridge maintains a brood of vampires currently numbering 8, although more names were mentioned: Orville Redenbacher (able to be revived by lowering into hot oil), Uncle Ben, the Original Colonel (conflicting with the known Colonel Sanders), the Noid (who Pep states you keep away from), Betty Crocker, Little Debbie (grown up), the "Where’s the Beef?" Lady (a terrifying vampire), and Dolley Madison

Former Members include Aunt Jemima, Fannie May, & Freddie May. Considered former due to being mentioned, but not being part of the final hand count.