U.S.S. Hephaestus

The **U.S.S. Hephaestus** is a space station orbiting the dwarf star Wolf 359. Its mission goals are unclear, but there is at least some focus on doing research on the star itself, as well as other things apparently best studied in deep space. The missions aboard the ship are at least partially organized by Goddard Futuristics.

At the start of *Wolf 359*, the Hephaestus is run by a crew of four people, Renée Minkowski, Hera, Alexander Hilbert, and Doug Eiffel, but has been home to at least two previous mission crews.

In Am I Alone Now?, Minkowski mentions that it takes "about two and a half months" for the Hephaestus to orbit the star. Assuming that this is in Earthen measures of time, the Hephaestus is ~0.156 AU (23.3 million km) from the star.

## Locations

As most of the series takes place aboard the Hephaestus station, there are several recurring locations.

### Airlocks

The station's airlocks are the main means of entrance and egress for space walks. It's known to have several airlocks on various decks, though the exact number is not given. Airlocks mentioned in the series include:

* Main airlock
* Aft deck airlocks #2, #3
* Airlocks #4, #5, #6
* Flight deck airlock

### Armory

The armory contains most of the weaponry provided to the Hephaestus crew. It's known to include a tactical knives kit, an M4 carbine, a flamethrower, and a harpoon.

### Bridge

The bridge is the command center of the station. It includes several consoles which are used to manage station systems, including navigation.

### Broom Closet

The broom closet is used on at least two occasions as a temporary brig: first after Eiffel's "Great Toothpaste Siege," and again after Hilbert's mutiny. It's unclear why a zero-gravity space station would require a broom closet.

### Cargo Bay

The cargo bay is a large room in the Hephaestus station. It was the intended location of the quarterly talent show, and connects to a hidden lab from the previous mission to Wolf 359.

### Communications Room

The communications room – commonly known as the comms room – contains equipment and consoles which facilitate the station's internal and external communication capabilities. This includes the equipment used for the Deep Space Alien Life Survey, as well as the pulse beacon relay, which allows for nearly instantaneous communication with Earth.

While most communication functions can be managed through the comms room, it's still necessary at times to manually adjust the station's exterior communications equipment.

### Crew Quarters

The crew quarters are the sleeping and personal space allocated to crew members of the Hephaestus. This portion of the ship also includes the crew's bathroom and shower.

At one point in the mission, Eiffel and Hera hid a randomized buzzer in Commander Minkowski's quarters, and took bets on how long it would take for her to locate it.

### Engineering

The engineering section houses much of the hardware that keeps the Hephaestus in orbit and a habitable environment. This includes the station's engines, and electrical and life support systems.

### Greenhouse

The greenhouse houses the plant-based experiments conducted on the Hephaestus. This inadvertently resulted in the creation of Specimen 34, a sentient plant-monster which on at least one occasion attempted to take command of the station.

### Hilbert's Lab

Hilbert's lab is one of the science labs on the Hephaestus, where Dr. Alexander Hilbert conducted much of his research on the Decima virus. Given Decima's nature, the lab is well equipped with medical equipment and on several occasions serves as a sick bay.

### Observation Deck

The observation deck is the room at the "top" of the Hephaestus. It's used as an observatory, and for visual observation of Wolf 359 and deep space. The deck includes a high-powered telescope, capable of viewing the solar system from over 7 light-years away.

After Hilbert's mutiny, the observation deck is converted into a make-shift brig as a longer-term solution than the broom closet.

### Selberg's Lab

Selberg's lab is a science lab on the Hephaestus where Dr. Elias Selberg conducted biological experiments on spiders. When it became apparent that the spiders had preternaturally potent venom, Captain Lovelace ordered the experiments be discontinued, and the lab sealed off from the rest of the station. Minkowski's crew rediscovered the lab by mistake, when an over-pressurized nitrogen tank broke through a wall of the cargo bay.

### Storage Shed

The storage shed is a room on the Hephaestus, presumably used for storage of equipment necessary to the mission's goals. It is known to contain fertilizer for the greenhouse, and is likely located near engineering.

### Store Room

The store room is a large room on the Hephaestus station containing many crates of seemingly random materials. Crate contents are known to include:

* Eyeless Russian dolls.
* Shrunken heads of Paul Harding M.D. and associates.
* A functional cannon (Box 56)
* 1,346 red L-shaped lego blocks (Box 217)
* Letters to Santa (Box 239)
* The individual pieces for three full suits of armor, near-mint condition (Box 300)
* Partial skull of unnamed megafauna specimen 58. This box has a note: please handle with care, and with a vague feeling of existential dread. (Box 552)
* Box 953 (massive metallic box in main series; containing A.I. Eris in special episode "Change of Mind".)
* Old Farmer's Almanacs, and the diaries of Victoire Fourier (Box 957).

### Vents

The air vents, often simply referred to as the vents, are part of the life support system, providing oxygenated air throughout the station. In the episode "Minkowski Commanding", Commander Minkowski discovers that the vents are the main avenue of transportation for Specimen 34.

## Other

### Terrarium

The terrarium is briefly mentioned in the episode "Am I Alone Now?" Minkowski says that the terrarium vanished, and no one else seemed to have noticed.

### Standard Lab Seven

Standard Lab Seven is mentioned in the episode "Fire and Brimstone." It is the location that Maxwell is incapacitated in.