Headhunters 5: The Dirty Dozen

## In Memorium: The Guilloteam

Heading into SNF, it was clear that this week was coming down to four teams: What Hurts Moore, Henry VIII, Tee Diggs my RIP, and Guilloteam. Henry VIII was at greatest risk, as they had already finished playing for the week. But they also had points in their pocket, whereas the highest projected team among them (Guilloteam) would have to earn every penny.

What Hurts Moore managed to Indiana Jones his way out of trouble on the very last drive of the day for New York, when Darren Waller became Travis Kelce and suddenly was open on every play. That took him ahead of Henry and spared him for the week.

That meant Monday Night Football came down to the three Bungalow Boiz, and someone from LIVE! was going to end the night DEAD!

That someone was Guilloteam. With the fate of the season resting on Quentin Johnston, Guilloteam found themselves asking QuWHEN is Johnston going to show up? The answer? Never. He was shut out on two targets, keeping his reception total for the season at a robust 6. It was a disappointing ending to the year, unless you were Tee Diggs my RIP. Then it was amazing, because Ferguson didn't even do enough to pass Henry VIII on the weekly leaderboard. Meaning if somehow Johnston had decided to have the best game of his career, Diggs was on the chopping block.

But as with most choppings, this didn't come down to one player. The nail in Guilloteam's coffin may have been his over-investment in the Arizona Cardinals. He traded for Josh Dobbs, who fell short of projection. He banked on Emari Demercado, who was this week's hottest waiver add only to attempt two runs the entire game (3.38 total FP). And he drafted Hollywood Brown, who fell short of his projection by half. In all, the three players combined for 30.61 on a projected 49.64.

But let's not let Josh Allen off the hook. He fell 11 points short of projection with Guilloteam at the Buffalo game looking him right in the eyes. It was the ultimate betrayal against the adopted member of Bills Mafia. And while I'm sure Guilloteam ownership would say it was all worth it, one has to ask: does Josh Allen hate Pat? One just has to ask, that's all.

This was a different type of season for Guilloteam. Sure, he still lead the league in roster moves through six week (27). But he was trying to save money, vs. bidding big early. It didn't work. Maybe some small tweaks to the lineup could have kept them alive (Pitts over Hock, CLE D over ATL D, Wilson over Brown and Powerll over Demercado), but ultimately it was starters coming up lame under the bright lights of primetime football. And for that reason, Guilloteam is the first of the Bung Boiz to leave us in 2023.

The Guilloteam:

## Weeks Survived (2019 v 2020 v 2021 v 2022 v 2023)

Tied for the worst finish in franchise history, Guilloteam has now failed to breach the top ten in three straight seasons.

## Dead Money

Keeping track of all the cash that never got spent by teams that are now eliminated.

Dead Money 2023

Guilloteam leaves the building with a whopping $776 left to spend.

## Top New Releases

Another interesting week as yet again injuries plagued the team getting chopped.

1. Josh Allen
2. Kenneth Walker III
3. T.J. Hockenson
4. Christian Watson
5. Marquise Brown

## Week Six Bidding Results

### Quick-Hit Thoughts

* Last Year's Most Expensive Player: Patrick Mahomes - $550 (The Guilloteam..aww RIP)
* Biggest Overpay: Alexander Mattison ($76 over next highest bid - The Guilloteam...stay hot Guilloteam)
* Narrowest Margin of Bid Victory: Justin Jefferson ($3 over next hight bid - Monty's Python..there were a pair of $2 victory margins lower down but for the price tag, this one was relatively closer!)
* Last year at this time, Henry VIII overpaid for players like Terry McLaurin ($51 w/next highest bid $5) and Alec Pierce ($46 with no competing bids). This year, the kid is at it again, bringing in Khalil Herbert ($32 and on IR).
* Tee Diggs, a man addicted to overspending. On October 6th, Desmond Ridder went for $1. This week, Diggs drops $91, then doubles down by spending $92 on another QB. He now has four QBs on his roster, and neither of the QBs he bid on this week actually started. But this is a superflex league, so don't knock it!
* A lot of people who lost bids this week actually won. Guilloteam, thank you for outbidding me on Demercado...that would have been embarrassing! And Tee Diggs, you're welcome for letting me snag Deebo Samuel, whose injury almost cost me the season. Alex Mattison, for $145? Sorry you missed out on that one Tee, but now he's back on the market and I'm sure at a discount!

## Excessive Spend

Excessive spend is anything over a single dollar more than the next highest bid for the player you won, and does not take into account the talent level or value of the player.

## Money Spent Per Week

This is the first week where a record was not broken for number of players won in auction. Will week 7 be the first week that under $1,000 is spent?

## Week Five Results

* Biggest Climber: Jeff Probst' Tribe (^6)
* Biggest Faller: What Hurts Moore?/The Guilloteam (v4)

Very little movement this week in the standings as teams basically performed on par with last week. Henry and Tee Diggs both moved up a single spot each to spare themselves from the chopping block. The top three remained the same, with Müller and Extra Tight swapping positions atop the board. In total, 9 teams were within two positions of where they finished a week ago.

## Draft Dodgers

Eliminations are creeping up the draft board.The bottom four remain untouched.

## Kings of the Castle

### 1. Müller Lite

Apparently now Curtis Samuel is discount CMC in fantasy? Another 14.65 points for that bum this week, and Müller didn't even use him. That's how loaded this team is, though 37 from Minnesota defense certainly helps. Still, it's Byemageddon time for Lite and we'll see if he can müster up the roster he needs to not get chopped. First to worst might be a first in Headhunters.

### 2. Extra Tight Ends

Sure, Puka Nacua might be turning back into a Pumpkin Nacua before our eyes, but there is still no accounting for the worth while investment this team made in Tyreek Hill (FAAB) and Kelce (draft cap). Kelce added an insane 19 points in TE bonus for ETE over the last two games. To see what ETE is doing without a QB2 is downright sinful. Their only week 6 starter who has a bye in week 7 was their lowest scorer, DeAndre Hopkins.

### 3. Monty's Python

A thrifty spender, Monty has the third-highest remaining FAAB and also somehow has managed to snag Justin Jefferson for a potential championship run later this season (that is, unless the Football Gods are cruel and MIN shuts him down). Monty faces their greatest challenge yet, as their namesake will be missing some time right as Ekeler returns. Monty being out right as Henry hits the bye could spell trouble.

### 4. Never Done This Before

Ever since taking out a second mortgage on home to bring in Mark Andrews and Jahmyr Gibbs, Never Done This has been pretty quietly performing well. But now the ghosts of investments past comes back to haunt. Justin Fields is doubtful, leaving just Geno Smith on the roster and no real money to spend on a QB. There's still lots to love about this team and with so many junk yard dawgs still in the mix, Never Done is likely Not Done just yet.

### 5. Jeff Probst' Tribe

Down Danny Dimes and Cole Kmet looking more like Cole Cement because he sunk like a brick down the TE rankings this week, Jeff Probst got the job done. Amon-Ra the Sun Gawd returned and showed us all why the Egyptians were so obsessed with him back in the day, and Tua Tagovailoa is unstoppable as long as he stays healthy. With Barkley back, this dog is more than just bark. Yeah, back to back dog things. Get over it.

## On the Chopping Block

### 12. RIP Diggs my RIP for sure-oh

Tee Higgins would have been better off staying RIP for this week as he brought nothing to the table for Diggs for sure, and it's honestly a small miracle this team is still standing after starting the worst of the three QB options in the superflex spot (Bake at 13.74 vs. 30+ from both new additions). They also had to role with Latavius Murray, who I'm pretty sure had to leave at halftime because the nursing home called wondering why if he was going to make it for supper. With a hilarious amount of QBs on the squad, look for Diggs to swing something this week to infuse some talent in the flex spots.

### 11. Henry VIII

Commish finally dropped some dough this week, and his new arrivals averaged 3.04 and Deebo didn't even finish the game. It's never a good sign when Devin Singletary is outscoring your two WRs combined. Adding to the issues, Brock Purdy looked like Brock Ugly out there vs. the Browns and Jimmy G, the glass man, broke his back or some shit against the Patriots. This team has been in the bottom all season, and could be beyond saving.

### 10. What Hurts Moore?

After "accidentally" picking up Davante Adams, Moore found themselves in a SNF showdown that went to the wire. Moore is loaded at WR, so much so that they started Zay Flowers over Mac Jones in the Superflex spot...and it actually paid off! Holy fuck Mac Jones sucks. But I digress. The big issue here is at RB, where Tank Bigsby continues to come up Smallsy and their only other rostered RB is Miles Sanders, who has a week seven bye. Hello Mattison!?

### 9. Obi-Wan Mahomie

The only team in the league that has yet to crack 1,000 points, yet somehow still very much alive. With Jeff Wilson and Diontae designated for return to IR, Obi-Wan might get some help. And just in time, because I wasn't sure how they were going to survive without Tyjae Spears as their RB2, complimenting the unstoppable Antonio Gibson. Meanwhile, the clock is starting to tick at QB. Both Mahomes and Stafford are off week 10.

### 8. deCaPitated

Lamb and Chase both are going on fall break in week 7, which means the league's all-time leader in points will have to scrape something together with Tutu, Amari, and Michael Thomas. They're also facing the prospect of rolling out Jordan Love and Deshaun Watson to replace C.J. Stroud and Tyrod Taylor, who both performed well enough to keep CP afloat. It's a pretty balanced team, but need to survive without the top of his top-WR duo for this coming contest.

## Average Scores of Eliminated Teams

Average Scores of Eliminated Teams
 The Guilloteam
 Jethro's Glorious Team
 Out of Luck
 Bobecue Chicken
 Hasta Laviska Baby

## Narrow Defeats

Margin of Defeat for Last Place Teams:

Margin of Defeat for Eliminated Teams
 Jethro's Glorious Team
 The Guilloteam
 Out of Luck
 Bobecue Chicken
 Al Snow's Fav Squad

## Unique Players Started

New stat category, who dis?

This week I got curious about how many unique players (Defense included) were started by each team. I assume that the longer into the season you go, the more unique players start? As teams get eliminated, I'll throw their number up here and we can see how things progress throughout the season.

The table can be sorted by players and also by week eliminated.

Unique Players Started
 Bobecue Chicken
 Al Snow's Fav Squad
 Jethro's Glorious Team
 Out of Luck
 Hasta Laviska Baby

## Rulers of the Kingdom

2023 first place finishers:

Top Scorers by Week
 2
 3
 4
 5
 6

We were very close to having our first week in HH history without a 200pt scorer (outside of the Bills/Bengals catastrophe to end last season). We were also a Tony Pollard breakaway run away from having Extra Tight Ends wearing the crown for the third time in six weeks.

## Dungeon Dwellers

2023 teams that finished second-to-last, narrowly avoiding elimination:

Low Scorers by Week
 2
 3
 4
 5
 6

 Tee Diggs living his life on the edge.

## Single Season Scoring Records

As teams get eliminated, their single season performance will appear here. Bolded lines indicate performances from the current season.

## All-Time Combined Points Scored

Same as above: eliminated teams will have their 2023 season added to the total. Bolded lines indicate that the record has been updated through 2023.

Guilloteam's 1,014.40 in 2023 puts him temporarily in 2nd place on the all-time scoring list. However, Tee Diggs will usurp that total upon elimination this season. Several other teams have a shot to knock Guilloteam out of the top five.