Ted

> It's all about the fucking mind games, man.
>
>

**Ted** is a sniper for the Tankmen. He has only officially appeared in TANKMEN 2, where he made his debut on 26th September 2007. He was intended to be a leading character of TANKMEN 2.5 and appears in TANKMEN 3's script.

## Appearances in TANKMEN

Ted is the only named character who has only appeared in one finished episode. He appears as the main character for TANKMEN 2.5, and has a speaking role in TANKMEN 3, though to what extent he was to be in either is unconfirmed.

*Appearances are listed in order of release date.*

### TANKMEN 2

Ted is seen at the bar of *Franks' Spirits & Bowling*, telling Captain about what happened to Bill on his first day on the job. He discusses how snipers are 'a bunch of sick little fucks' before getting emotional about the fact Bill was going to be a father. He gets stabbed in the middle of Steve's fight, but miraculously survives and wakes up during the bonus scene, where he drinks Captain's leftover beer, complains about how it tastes like warm piss (he should know!) and passes back out again.

### TANKMEN 2.5

Ted appears as the primary focus in the title screen illustration for 2.5, alongside Skittles. He also appears in an unfinished scene where he is lying on a bed in an empty room, with bandages over his chest and a glass of water by his bedside. It's assumed he would have sustained some form of injury during the episode, but it's unknown. As there is no public script or audio for this episode, it's unclear what Ted's role in it would have been.

### TANKMEN 3

Ted appears in both the script and partly released audio for 3, and likely served more of a role in the episode than he previously did in 2. He is seen in an unfinished storyboard sniping from atop a building, using a gargoyle as a makeshift stand. He is also in possession of a cooler, though for what purpose is unknown. Based on the script, he is sniping from a vantage point in an attempt to take out the Enemy Commander. Despite having him in his sights, he is interrupted by Captain and Steve's dispute down on the ground. Notably, Captain refers to him as a 'morbid creep', possibly giving insight into his greater personality. Aside from this, nothing else about Ted's presence in this episode is known.

## Trivia

* Ted went completely unnamed until JohnnyUtah posted TANKMEN 3's script to Twitter on March 18th, 2021, where he is named as 'Ted (green-goggled sniper)'*.* Up until this point, he was generally referred to as simply 'Sniper' by fans.
	+ In TANKMEN INFINITY, he is named as 'Nightvision' in the credits.
	+ JohnnyUtah still continues to refer to him as 'Sniper' or 'green-goggled sniper', for some reason.
* According to JohnnyUtah, Ted is 47 years old, probably, and is the oldest of the known cast.
* Ted swears more than any other character in the entire series, with a majority of his sentences containing cuss words.
* Ted, like many other characters, is a smoker.
* According to the bonus scene in TANKMEN 2, Ted - apparently - has arthritis.
	+ In the same bonus scene, it's revealed that Ted has drank his own piss before.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 "[...] but the green goggled sniper is the oldest" "Sniper is probably like 47" - @JohnnyUtahNG via Twitter DMs, February 6th 2022
2. ↑ @JohnnyUtahNG on Twitter - March 18th, 2021