DIANE4PRESIDENT ! (ep. 3)

Picture by annathenewt

GM
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## Summary

Sypher, Eon and Diane are joined in Professor Jacobo's class by Peonie — a timid girl reading a book of advanced alchemy — whom Sypher knows from her previous high school.

Peonie can't wait to be introduced to the plant Sypher says she birthed — still unnamed, later known as Byte — and Diane has a cover for her new friend: with her mother working in PR, she's the best person to spread "Diane for council president" flyers.

Sypher and Eon go outside with Peonie. Eon shows off his own plant, which is more droopy than Sypher's. Peonie and Sypher leave him before he executes on his plan to bite on it to recreate the scent he liked. Peonie thinks Eon is a monster; Sypher doesn't understand why.

Sypher's plant is in a corner, near a bush. It has a long stem and a bulb with teeth inside; the bulb is white with green speckles: Sypher's homework is disgusting. Peonie sees its mouth move, understands it's trying to communicate — but not that it's saying *Mom, yeah*. Sypher allows her to pet it — *I am not liable for your digits* — and therefore the plant lets her do it.

Sypher didn't have breakfast as she was trying to learn *Green Thumb* to get an extra credit, and now that she's a teenage mom — *My mother would be so proud* — she asks Peonie for help figuring out how to feed her plant. Peonie reckons it needs fertilizer and more acidic soil; she can whip something up. Peonie, who was nervous before, is now glad.

Professor Jacobo ends up showing leniency for the three students coming late. The students are going to learn something new today; the professor takes Diane's suggestion that they make *something energizing* and shows how to craft a *Potion of Vigor*: it requires to place an equal weight of two ingredients in a jar and heat it up — to which Eon adds crap and lard.

Diane makes the steps excitedly and in a very showy way that suggests *I'm so meticulous!*: she's good at pretending. She places the vial on the bunsen burner, puts the two liquids that have a delicious smell — blueberry and strawberry and the result is a partial success. When she looks over at Eon, she sees his plant eat the flask whole, with half the ingredients in it; this doesn't stop Eon but the result is a potion that's just gross and smells like bad eggs — a great smell as far as Eon is concerned, but not an invigorating one.

The professor then addresses Sypher and Peonie — *Ladies, did you decide to join us?* — so that Diane feels compelled to interject her prepared excuse: Peonie has been helping her with her student council campaign; she's an expert at this because her mom is in PR. Peonie confirms *I'm the best flyer placer*.

Professor Jacobo takes the excuse and promptly welcomes Peonie, whom he knows is from Hekate High.

Sypher and Peonie will have to catch up later because now the witches are going to craft a *Potion of Health* — a little pick-me-up the professor has used to reach his old age. Vials land on the tables; Professor Jacobo snaps his hands and the liquid disappears from the potions the students already made. The new potion requires words — *In Life we find Death; In Death we find Life; We're all connected.* — and hand motions.

A tree appears in the air; it creates blue liquid. The professor claps his hands; it turns red. Then it finds itself in a magically clasped vial.

Peonie knows she's bad at this. She nevertheless gets *Potion of Health* at level 0, like the other students.

Sypher goes limply, nonchalantly at the hand gestures, and reads the words from her laptop. The roots of the tree she makes appear look cybernetic; they move and wither but come back to life. Sypher tells Peonie *I'm gonna do worse than you*, but still gets a partial success: a little bit of potion drops out; little bits of electricity in it make this minor health potion look cool. It definitely helps that this is her favorite teacher.

Professor Jacobo finds it *interesting* ; *every witch puts a little bit of themselves* *in their potions*.

It is now Peonie's turn. She is serious; she knows what the roots of a tree look like; the roots she summons seem to be moving to music; the liquid turns out great: this is a success. It smells like basil; Peonie uses it, it's the best herb to grow. Sypher, however, only eats pizza and drinks energy drinks.

Eon is confident he can succeed. The white of his plant becomes green as he says:

> *We're gonna do this!*
>
>

He gets the words wrong, and the hand motions too; he also adds trash because he's heard the teacher say witches put something of themselves. The mix of liquid and trash remains gelatinous and it stinks; instead of improving health it makes your skin change color and makes you smell — it would make Eon even more smelly. Phillis, encouraged by Eon to *Go for it*, rubs the liquid on her face and becomes a stinky rat.

Diane gets to try too; she looks serious but cheats. Colin is doing it perfectly, though, and she wants to be as successful as him. Her potion does look better than Colin's; it has a sparkle to it. Diane, staring at Colin, drinks her potion and feels amazing: today she's getting shit done. She is gloating but he doesn't pay attention to her: he's doing a cool spell.

Sypher asks Peonie if the day is everything she wanted it to be: it is. Sypher has to tell her she was being sarcastic. Sypher makes a decision before the class ends: she names her plant Byte — a computer term.

The professor asks that the witches come back next week prepared for a quiz.

Diane finds her potion so amazing and energetic, she offers some to Professor Jacobo. He declines, and remarks she seems to have had too much of it. He offers her a new potion; she takes it, but doesn't drink it.

Sypher tells the teacher he's funny on her way out. He agrees that he tries.

Eon is out already.

The witches have had their two classes; the rest of the day is free; dinner is at 5:30.

Sypher shows Eon a picture of the rift, asking:

> *Are we gonna tell someone?*
>
>

Eon hasn't seen it yet.

Sypher points at the rift on the picture, for Eon and Peonie. Sypher explains how she went up to take photos, and tells what she knows about the shield around the school.

Diane is crashing, right now. She declines the potion Peonie offers her. Sypher, who always worries about Diane, casts *CTRL+ALT+DEL* on her, which makes her panic. Sypher puts her headphones on Diane's ears; her partial success results in Diane hearing musics and feeling electricity. It is pleasant, but Diane keeps hearing the music after taking off the earbuds. She can't hear the others anymore; Eon yells to her.

Sypher doesn't understand:

> *It's not supposed to do that.*
>
>

She adds:

> *Welcome, Peonie, to my friends.*
>
>

Diane owes Sypher one; she has to go and prepare for something, the techno music still playing in her head.

That's when things really go awry.

Peonie manipulates time and heals Eon's plant; Sypher first notices then investigates — when she gets into the server room with its five terminals and its soothing humming noise, her favorite place — incidents of rifts briefly forming in a wall and other places so as to let someone or something in; Chuck gets chucked and replenished; Eon douses Diane in not-too-smelly trash to stop her rampage, and Sypher changes what threatened to be a huge drag on Diane's reputation — what with all the pictures of her in this sorry state on Instagrimoire — in a boost for Diane's campaign for president by casting a well-timed, carefully worded *Rumor has it ...* that sells it as a bout of performance arts to call the witches' attention to their environment.

Meanwhile, Peonie has to head to the statue of the pegasus with the fountain and return home, having reconnected with a friend and made new ones in a single day.

## Notes

1. ↑ Eon actually rolled a 14 on his potion but his -5 total modifier changed it into a failure.
2. ↑ *NftE*: My notes seem to be lacking here.
3. ↑ *NftE*: or, maybe, *something*.
4. ↑ *NftE*: I had a "the dog ate my homework" moment when most of my notes for part 2 got inexplicably and irremediably wiped from my tablet. I don't think I'll make a longer recap of this episode.