recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Unbeliever Anthem

After hearing Nick R's "Don't Stop Unbelievin'" reference and song, I thought it would make a great Unbeliever anthem. After hearing so many talented Unbeliever musicians in the previous episodes, I thought we could come up with an Unbeliever Anthem. I humbly submit the following 'parody' lyrics for the Journey song for others to improve upon.

Original Song: Don't Stop Believin' by Journey (No, kids, this song wasn't written for The Sopranos; it came out in 1981)

Original Lyrics: azlyrics

Original Song: YouTube (Yes, kids, we really used to dress & look like that...until glam & hair metal came along...then it got worse)

**Don't Stop Un-Believin'** (inspired by Nick R)

*[verse 1]*

Just a West Coast girl

Livin' in her lonely world

She took an East Coast flight

Goin' N-Y-C

*[verse 2]*

Just a city boy

Born next to the L-I-E

He took an LA flight

Goin' Hollywood

*[verse 3]*

Next they met in a smokey room

They drank wine and saw the Truth

With comedy they now spread the Light

They go on and on and on and on

*[chorus]*

Un-be-lieve-ers

Listening all around the world

People searching

For the Light

Un-be-lieve-ers

Livin' just to find the Truth

We won’t sit idly by

*[verse 4]*

Listening hard to get our fill

Un-believing is a thrill

Illuminati control all the dice

And the Future too

*[verse 5]*

We will win

They will lose

We will make "Them" sing the Blues

The New World Order, we wil make it end

Un-learn on and on and on and on

*[chorus]*

Un-be-lieve-ers

Listening all around the world

People searching

For the Light

Un-be-lieve-ers

Livin' just to find the Truth

We won’t sit idly by

*[Instrumental interlude]*

*[outro]*

Don't stop un-believin'

Hold on to that feelin'

We’re not sheep-ple

Don't stop un-believin'

Un-learn on!

We’re not sheep-ple

Don't stop un-believin'

Hold on to that feelin'

We’re not sheep-ple
John Stormm

An orphan born in 1953, John Stormm was taken from his orphanage at a very young age by the CIA and was inducted into the MK Ultra super soldier program, ran by Nazi doctors and scientists where he would be trained to become an "Ultra" and fight communists.

After years of grueling training that left most of the child subjects mentally unstable and some dead, John was one of the few to finish the program. Experiencing years of rigorous training involving electro shock experiments and live ammunition war games, John developed several superhuman abilities, such as:

* He could pick up your car and flip it over, but not over his head like Superman or anything like that.
* He can jump out of a 3rd or 4th story building and hit the ground running with no bruises.
* He can take a hit from a car moving at 40 mph, without breaking any bones.
* He has a martial arts punch with an average speed of 4 times per second, with 1600 psi per punch.
* His skin is pretty tough, but not like super tough. He can stop his bleeding and take damage well.
* He can astral project images and feelings of people.
* He can will feelings on other people and can even become invisible through force.
* John did not age during his career. When he retired at age 40, he still looked 17 years old.

Under the code name Thumper (as in the rabbit from Bambi), John would go on many missions, including assassinating people at martial arts expos, hunting enemies down using astral projection, fighting cartels, and breaking the necks of Viet Cong soldiers. In the late 1970's, John went ran his last mission, and eventually went rogue. Ever since he left the program, the CIA has tried to kill him many times and repeatedly fail to take him down.

Today, John Stormm has several serious health issues, such as diabetes and narcolepsy. He's even had several strokes.

It's worth noting that the episode of the podcast in which John Stormm is discussed was the final episode to feature former co-host Charles Gould, who has since disappeared. Is it possible that Mr. Stormm heard the podcast and didn't appreciate some of Charles' jokes? Perhaps Charles' corpse is out there, crushed under a flipped over a car.

Below are some photos of John Stormm:
The Doglike-Arnold-Monster

In the dark woods of Pennsylvania there lurks a canine bodybuilding monster that has terrorized local residents and cat owners alike. I am talking, of course, about the Doglike-Arnold-Monster of Central Pennsylvania.

Comprising about 7 to 8 feet of pure Austrian muscle, the Doglike-Arnold-Monster is believed to have an appearance that is mostly canine in nature, but with a very muscular body that resembles that of bodybuilder/movie star/governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Coast to Coast AM host George Noory can sum up the creature best:

*“Its got a wolf, its got a wolf face and head, and an animal wolf-like body that is very muscular that almost looks like a human that would be working out.”* - George Noory

Not much is known about the Doglike-Arnold-Monster, but eyewitnesses of the creature have been able to gather some facts about it:

* It can apparently walk bipedally, similar to that of an Arnold Schwarzenegger, and it can walk on all limbs like a dog.
* It has a flat back. Like, you know, like the back of a man.
* The creature loves to eat cats. BTW, if your cat disappears, it was probably eaten by the Doglike-Arnold-Monster.
* The creature is a fan of its local transit system and can often be found riding a bus when it is hunting cats.
* It may also look like a skunk
* Also, the creature might be a lion monster with a missing toe that appears in mirrors during televised presidential debates when Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton appear.
Forget - Episode 215: Can You Trust Stan Romanek?

It was late, five past midnight, the episode was finally over, "*Why the fuck did I agree to record this shit. Sure the paranormal is part of my  life, shit's happened to me, but Brian doesn't even take this shit seriously, and Pheobe! She's a sweet girl, but...*"

"Fuck New York! " Kevin mutters to himself, "I can't even park near her building, then I gotta walk through this shit neighbourhood, fuck!"

Ruminating over the episode Kevin smirks, "*Stan 'the piece of shit' Romanek, lying cunt, probably had a real encounter years ago, now he's just clinging to the fame.* Though there is something creepy about that shit, and that little girl was dope as crap, Photoshop my arse! That shits too real, Brian's an idiot."

Without warning Kevin's stomach fills with unease, the hairs on his neck stand up, and goose bumps bead up on his forearms. Then he hears it, footsteps, two pairs, behind him.

Turning he notices the street lights flicker out, the subtle silhouette of two figures briefly visible before the darkness.

His heart compels him to run but his legs won't comply.

Two streetlights away blink out.

A sheen of sweat forms on his forehead, his vision blurs.

One streetlight away flashes off.

The footsteps slow, and gently to men emerge from the darkness, as they draw closer Kevin notices a strange familiarity, something about their faces, then it hits him like a cartoon anvil to the head.

Sean Connery and Harrison Ford stand mute before him, heavy Fedora's shading their eyes. Their black outfits acting as if they're eating the light.

The two men lean in close, a hint of ammonia wafts from their skin.

"Ahh Kevin," says Connery in his signature accent, "it would seem you've been looking into forbidden knowledge."

"Yes forbidden knowledge." Ford repeats while placing the foil wrapping from a stick of gum into his mouth, the gum itself being discarded to the curb earlier.

"You know that's unwise?" Connery says as if asking a question that can't be answered.

Ford reaches out and clasps Kevin hand, his skin is cold and clammy. Lifting it up to his face he draws Kevin's palm across his cheek, his course stubble grates like sandpaper. He then starts sniffing the hand, relentlessly moving up Kevin's arm, stopping briefly to lick and bite.

Grinning Sean says "I think a reset is in order."

"Yes, a reset." Ford says between breaths, the gum foil tangled around his teeth.

Raising a hand Connery whispers, "you know the rules, now forget."

The streetlights blink twice, before coming on again.

Drawing his phone from his pocket Kevin glances at the time. "Two-thirty, fuck this shit!"
Phil Schneider's Dick

The mangled remains of Phil Schneider's genitalia. After it was split open during Phil's service in the military, Phil Schneider's Dick would go on to fight alongside its owner in a firefight at Dulce Base with several tall gray aliens. Following Phil's "suicide" in 1996, Phil Schneider's Dick detached itself from his masters cold embrace and has since traveled across the country in its little cars, fucking women and killing grays with its mystical dick powers. Some say Phil Schneider's Dick is humanity's only hope in the ongoing battle with the grays. But who knows? Only time will tell....
Nikola Tesla

### Overview

Between his birth on July 10th 1856 and death on January 7th 1943, Nikola Tesla discovered and invented everything. After his death the United States government seized two train car loads of documents from his New York apartment which they used as the basis of countless Projects, Operations, and Experiments. Since the Modern Shadow Government (MSG)'s foundation is built upon Tesla's knowledge archive, his existence can rightfully be used to explain paranormal events or substantiate unverifiable claims.
Travis Irvine

Travis Irvine is a stand-up comedian, independent filmmaker and unsuccessful politician. He has written and directed a feature-length horror/satire about killer raccoons as well as a short documentary about his own 2007 mayoral run in Bexley, Ohio. His campaign and comedy videos have been featured on The Jay Leno Show, PBS’s NewsHour, The Huffington Post and Funny Or Die. He was also once on The People's Court. A recent graduate of the Columbia University School of Journalism, he is currently a contributor to The Huffington Post, HuffPo Live and .Mic, and lives and performs in New York City. Travis can currently be heard as a regular guest on Cave Comedy Radio Shows "Abe Lincoln's Tophat" and "The Round Table of Gentleman".
Alien Cat People

This strange inter dimensional traveler was one of two different species that dragged Ronny Dawson from his sleeping body. They apologized to Mr. Dawson for disturbing his rest but needed to have a conversation. The topic of the conversation included how to tell the people of Earth that they have been observed from a position of absolute stealth and that the people of their world were anxious to meet the people of our world. They claimed to be from a distant galaxy near a galactic center. There are many worlds and species in their consortium of planets. They found our world after our nuclear testing shot light and radiation into an area of empty space off one of their worlds. Believing it could be an inter-dimensional attack,and yes there have been, they sent a team to investigate us. This pair came across Dawson working in the Oilfields of Texas and were assigned to watch him. Dawson ask permission to look through the star gate they used to reach here and Dawson was allowed to travel through it. He found himself floating in zero gravity just off a alien planet that had a huge galactic center in the background. Dawson saw that there were so many stars in the sky it could never be completely dark there. The planet had 3 large continents and thin small oceans. A large area of desert and dense jungle near the oceans. The cat species female was a geneticist and they kept requesting a genetic sample. Dawson agreed but was uncertain on how they planned to obtain it. The important thing was the people of Earth had just made alien contact and Dawson would agree to anything they wanted to stay on good terms. They ask Dawson if he would be willing to have a sexual encounter with the geneticist alien. Dawson could not believe what he had just heard. This creature was certainly a female but she barely looked humanoid. She had a tail that kept whipping around when she got excited. If that wasn't enough of a distraction Dawson's wife walked through the room. They reassured Dawson she could not hear or see any of us and that Dawson's physical body remained sleeping on the bed. They stated the semen sample would be genetically modified and seed a new world. Dawson complained that it would be children he would never meet in a world he would never see. When ask how to disclose to the people of Earth their worlds existence Dawson suggested a global display of alien presence would be the only way to get people to accept it. The people of their world have been watching us and have grown to love some of our clothing. They're demanding to meet us and much thought is going into how to do this.
Alpha Centaurians

The Alpha Centaurians are believed to be the most advance, fifth denominational, extra-terrestrial civilization in our galaxy. They just want to help us advance and grow, but earth just keeps fucking up.

### Primary Associations

#### Elizabeth Klarer

While torturing puppies with her shrill, discordant voice, Elizabeth Klarer had the seed of love planted within her when she was just a child; the propagator of that germinating affection was Akon. Sometime later the two of them had incomparably fantastic sex aboard Akon's spaceship while his bro Sheron was out "gathering roots". Klarer lived on Meton for some time, but eventually returned to Earth leaving behind Akon and their son, Ayling.
Unbeliever A-A-Ron

Unbeliever A-A-Ron is one of the Official Composers for The Unbelievable Podcast. He has composed several original themes for the show and has had several songs featured in episodes.

Aside from being the composer for The Unbelievable Podcast, Unbeliever A-A-Ron a.k.a. Aaron Schilb is a Nashville based musician and composer. Buy his album Tonic!

Album is available for a cheaper rate than iTunes here: https://cdbaby.com/aaronschilb4

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/tonic/id1220607140

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/theaaronschilb

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/7kTlbSU8Q2fz5IWp529SIf
"You Have New Mail Waiting"

"You have new mail waiting" is a phrase robotically belched from the cum-laden lips of a heretofore undocumented horsewoman of the apocalypse. The phrase was chosen by Brian Frange as a segue into a segment of listener mail that resonates among various degrees on the positive side of brilliant, typically partitioning the "new mail" sound bite and the reading of the inevitably genius mail with a primal and/or guttural expression of disgust.

Though the disdain for this audio clip is universal in scope, it is still in use due to Brian's unshakable adherence to his own arbitrary rule that segment signifiers cannot be changed once chosen. This maxim was revealed during that episode where Phoebe Tyers tried to take a piss on the righteous trumpets that herald the "5 star reviews" segment. While Brian was completely justified in shutting her down in that instance, the precedent thusly established effectively places such revered concepts as "evolution", "progress", and "The Scientific Method" squarely face-up under Brian's pale and likely chapped ass as he takes a swing at a grey's head in the middle of the woods with a big stick after witnessing his dog getting ripped apart by a micro singularity. The myopic faith with which Brian clings to this tenant, which would be considered criminally abusive if not for its own vague self-substantiating acceptance, has earned him the title of "The Federal Reserve of Sound Bites" within certain circles of Unbelievers.

What's worse is that all too often Brian places this clip, whose acrid taste can only be cleaned from the palette by consuming images of aborted fetuses while listening to Roseanne's rendition of the national anthem, not only at the beginning of the segment, but bookending it at the end, effectively taking the most divinely inspired pastrami sandwich and breading it with Space Pancakes (Grease Cakes).

How this travesty was not foretold by a Mothman sighting is still under investigation.

While many a listener will revel in the audio clip's ability to inspire a semen-themed comment from Phoebe, her approval of the bite could not be granted with even the help of Brian's Birth Genie.
Phil Schneider

Phil Schneider, a former US Government Geologist and Engineer, tells a story of DUMBs (Deep Underground Military Bases) and the effects of being crispy crittered.

His story starts with working on an underground military base in Dulce, New Mexico. Schneider and the engineers who were extending an underground military base broke through a cavern. This cavern was filled with Alien Greys who had been living underground for 20,000 years.
G.U.C.T. (Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory)

A "Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory" is a worldview wherein reptilians, nordics, the orange, the Green, the greys, the djinn, the light blues, the illuminati, lizardmen, mothmen, bugmen, bigfoot, mermaids, the Ashtar Command, the Washtar Command and all the many other species of aliens, cryptids and hybrids are in control of this Earth and controlling many human beings. Many species are working together, but many aliens are at odds with each other. Some documentary evidence of these different types of species working together for world domination can be found on the You Tube series Illuminati Inc.

A fully integrated convincing GUCT has yet to be put forth by anyone--including David Icke and noted Sack of Shit Richard Hoagland--but what we know for certain is:

* The moon is a hollow monitoring station floating above the Earth
* The Montauk project is capable of sending people back in time with inappropriate footwear
* Larry Sinclair sucks cock like nobody's business
* An MK Ultra super soldier can flip your car over
* Leprechauns kidnapped former Unbelievable Podcast contributor Crystal Delahanty
* You can use a zapper on your face, but it will burn at first
* The pyramids in Egypt were built by aliens and filled with gluten free wheat grain
* The Korendians use Ham Radio

You can see the connections without a picture being drawn, surely. But listening to every episode of The Unbelievable Podcast allows for a fuller understanding of the forces at work in what we laughingly call "our" universe. Once initiated, it is easy to see the alien hands pulling all the strings behind any human endeavor.

   One popular GUCT involves a flat Earth controlled mainly by Reptilian weathermen on local news stations working in collusion with The Orange in the shadow government and HAARP to control the ionosphere, therefore the weather, enabling them to activate the chem-trails linked to the fluoride in the water supply and the mercury in all the fish, effectively giving HAARP the power to control human and fish alike! (One-upping Aquaman in this regard).

But there are many many of these GUCTs out there. Share one?
Atlanteans

### Overview

Ancient inhabitants of the terrestrial continent of Atlantis, Atlanteans are able to levitate within a pyramid. Noted

explorers and possessors of 'advanced technology', they traversed the world erecting enormous stone structures which form the pillars of their "Merkaba Field".

Posited by Rand and Rose Flem Ath in their book "When the Sky Fell", the continent we call Antarctica is the Atlantis of lore. 13,00 years ago, after a pole shift triggered an Earth Crust displacement, all of Earth's tectonic plates moved in unison leading to a re-positioning of the planet's continents. In short order, Atlantis went from enjoying a sub-tropical environment being "really fucking cold".

### References

1. ↑ Rand and Rose Flem Ath -- A fan page about Atlantis(?)[1]
2. ↑ Thomas Paine - "Common Sense"
T-Shirt Money

### Overview

More divisive than Emio's expose on Bohemian Grove, the concept of asking Unbelievers if they would be interested in pooling their capital to off-set the front-end costs of bulk ordering t-shirts in exchange for one of those very t-shirts divided the once unified Unbelievable Podcast Community.

### Conspiracy Theories

#### JavaScript Guy

With the vaunted 'Tournament of Aliens' mere weeks away, some Unbelievers surmised that Brian's request for T-Shirt Money was little more than a thinly veiled ruse to amass several hundred American dollars - of which an estimated $16 would be used to hire an Eastern European 'JavaScript Guy' to 'code' an interactive bracket for the tournament. What would happen with the remaining T-Shirt cash cache? We don't know.

#### Greece Bailout

By most estimates, the T-Shirt crowdfunding campaign was an unmitigated success -- with final "funding goal" percentages ranging from 113% to 314159265%. A lone Poll Results whistle-blower, or 'Truther', posited that the whole T-Shirt Money enterprise was an altruistic endeavor to bail the nation of Greece out of their United States-level of inconceivable debt.

#### Other

Maybe it was just a rad way for like-minded people to create a token of support for something they enjoy. Brian explicitly said that there wasn't a requirement to include anything that could be considered marketing for The Unbelievable Podcast within the design of the shirt. Think about that for a second. How fucking cool is it that the primary objective of this endeavor was for listeners to make something that potentially only other listeners could comprehend and fully appreciate? Inside jokes comprise an integral pillar of The Unbelievable Podcast's appeal - to the point where giving the hosts shit about being money hungry cunts became a meta-inside-joke because ONLY DEDICATED LISTENERS WOULD USE THEIR 'OTHER' RESPONSE TO GIVE THE HOSTS SHIT ABOUT BEING MONEY HUNGRY CUNTS. I love it. #StarFox\_Mulder
The Sue Sill Abductions

Sue Sill of Outlane, Huddersfield claims to have been abducted by aliens, and continues relentlessly to force thecstory down our throats despite the ridicule she has faced.

### Sue's Abduction Claim

Her abduction occured in 2010 at the same time strange crop circles appeared in her local town.

She recounts the "visitors" arrived in her room while she was arranging her clothes for tomorrows activities. Sue describes them in the following statement:

> “I sat down on the bed and the next thing, some figures appeared. They were really small and they had black skin or were wearing black suits.
>
>

> “They had long, thin arms and their faces were obscured, like a liquid. I was thinking, ‘oh God, what’s happening here?’
>
>

> “They came to the side of the bed and something like a veil came over me. The next thing I knew I was in a space on a craft looking at Earth.
>
>

> The craft was iridescent like a bubble, I could see everything around me. I was thinking, ‘how can I be looking at the Earth?’
>
>

> “The creatures spoke with telepathy and were showing me the Earth. At once there was a massive explosion on Earth, like a mushroom, and my heart sunk.
>
>

> “When the creature put its hand on my shoulder it was like ET with a long middle finger. It was like it was feeding off my emotions. I remember the creature saying, ‘don’t worry, you will be all right’.
>
>

> “I didn’t feel they wanted to harm me or the people on Earth, I think they were concerned about what’s happening on Earth. We are destroying the planet.”
>
>

Like many accounts the dire prophecy is present but no clear indication as to how to avoid it is supplied, neither is any proof to add credence to the witness/abductee.

### Aftermath

Sue was then returned to her house where she found it hard to function, as if she were "jetlagged"

From that time on she has bore witness to multiple sightings and has produced many out of focus images and questionable drawings of her captors.

References

http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/alien-abductee-sue-sill-outlane-10701145#
Unbeliever Anthem - Alternate version

So the obvious thing to do is go through songs you know that have "believe" in the title, right? Here's another idea for an Unbeliever parody for people to play with (if they like this sort of thing). Like the last one, I have neither the time, equipment, nor (most importantly) talent to record it. But I enjoy writing parodies.

Original Song Title: I'm a Believer by The Monkees (written by Neil Diamond, of course)

Original Song Lyrics: Google Play

Original Song: YouTube (Yes, kids, this was a real TV show we used to watch. Are they the original Illuminati teenage music mind control project, before Lady Gaga, The Spice Girls, and The Bangles?)

**We're Unbelievers**

*[verse 1]*

We thought Mermaids only lived in fairy tales

We thought Golden Rice was safe to eat

We thought Earth was round-ish

Conspiracies for freaks

We were all so proud of our Wishing Machines

*[chorus]*

But then we tuned in, now we’re Unbelievers

No more trace of “them” controlling our minds

We un-learned, we’re Unbelievers

“They” couldn’t fool us if they tried

*[verse 2]*

We thought Hoagland more or less an honest guy

And the more he wrote, the more we bought

We thought HAARP was harmless

Didn’t know plants could sing

We thought leprechauns could never hurt anything

*[chorus]*

But then we tuned in, now we’re Unbelievers

No more trace of “them” controlling our minds

We un-learned, we’re Unbelievers

“They” couldn’t fool us if they tried

*[intermezzo]*

Reptilians all around us

Illuminati, too

When it all seems hopeless we know what to do

*[chorus]*

Yeah, we tune in, ‘cause we’re Unbelievers

No more trace of “them” controlling our minds

We un-learn, we’re Unbelievers

“They” couldn’t fool us if they tried

Yeah, we tune in, ‘cause we’re Unbelievers

No more trace of “them” controlling our minds

We un-learn, we’re Unbelievers

“They” couldn’t fool us if they tried
Ronny Dawson Big Boy Alien

In 2011 Ronny Dawson Caught a Large Mother-ship Video Clip on his cellphone when the mile long V shaped craft passed directly overhead. The craft looked like a huge V shaped rock flying through the nighttime sky. It was so large it took several seconds to pass over. Dawson had cell phone in hand and was watching the display for an opportunity to record this once in a lifetime opportunity. To his dismay the display screen was black but the craft was so large and close it was easily visible with the naked eye. It looked like a large rock with a city embedded onto the surface. Flying right over North Central Texas. The craft tilted and began accelerating. Dawson's chance was leaving. He raised his phone and pointed the cameras eye at the thing and hoped for the best. As the camera started recording the craft flipped backward and was coming back toward Dawson. The surface of the craft could be seen now and the phone was recording. What a stroke of luck the city itself became visible and how weird it was. Beside weird alien architecture there was spotted somethings that baffle the mind. A series of extremely large alien creatures were some how hanging out on the surface of a craft travelling several hundred mph. How could that even be possible? Dawson has his story and the camera confirms what he was seeing. Even Travis Walton could not pull that off. This thing had tubes for eyes and had to be the size of a small apartment. Sitting exposed on the surface. Confirming that not only can they make a rock fly but have eliminated the forces of nature. MUFON tried to convince Dawson this was a black project and should remain out of the public eye. Dawson believes there was nothing on this thing that looked like it was ever touched by a human hand. The truth is right here on camera. The camera has no opinion. It just shows you what was in front of its camera eye.
The Sea Worm

A suspected sea creature of the 13th century, reported to not attack it's victims, but to induce swelling if touched.

### Popular Unbelief

Truely one of the most revolting creatures it draws

similarities to that of a penis due to shape and size. The analogy continues in that touching the Dick-Fish causes your hand to swell as if infected by crabs.

It's also suspected this was a Christian attempt to frighten people away from beating the one-eyed-willy, thus making such an act dangerous.

### Associated Mythology

It's widely believed that most sailors would avoid masturbation, not due to fear of this beast but more due to the expectation that somewhere in the depths of the ever moist ocean a Vagina-Fish waited to be discovered.

### Reports and Sightings

In 2006 a swimmer encountered this creature, see newapaper clipping below.

### References

[The Unbelievable Podcast] Episode 196: Sea Monsters Part 1 - The [...]

http://podplayer.net/#/?id=31312798 via @PodcastAddict
Episode 87

Back in the old days, “The Program” was mostly accessed through Tumblr.  This included being able to access all the old episodes, like the original Mermaids episode, and episodes with Tim Dillon, Sgt. K, and Crystal Delahanty (all who will eventually have their own Wikia pages).  But…when you were looking through the old episodes, it was obvious that something was missing: Episode 87.  Go ahead and Google it.  You get this, or maybe this.  There was a poll question about what happened to Episode 87, but can you access the Episode with the "Poll Results” to hear what the answer is?  Why did ‘Hollywood’ never release this episode?

## Lo-Jinx Conspiracy Theory

Episode 87 was what BrYan & Charles wrote for the Bohemian Grove Lo-Jinx play, and Herbert decreed that it could not be made publicly available.

## Mermaids Conspiracy Theory

Episode 87 was an updated Mermaids episode. After hearing it on-line, NOAA forced BrYan to take it down, similar to how the site "mermaidsarereal.com" was taken down because it was deemed to be a threat to homeland security.

## Shuey Lake Conspiracy Theory

Episode 87 was an undercover episode where BrYan and Crystal went to Shuey Lake with Sgt. K to meet "Squishy Bob". In a scenario not unlike Aliens vs. Predator, there was an epic battle between Reptilians and Leprechauns. The Aliens took Episode 87, while the Leprechauns took Crystal.

## Conrad Malta Conspiracy Theory

Episode 87 was an interview with Conrad Malta, a.k.a. "no spaces man", a.k.a. "ATL Draco Man". The interview was about Conrad's horrible relationship with the Pope, explaining why all his Poll Results entries were about the Pope sexually misbehaving. The Episode was available on-line for less than a day, as the Catholic Church had it removed.

It is purely coincidental that BrYan went to Atlanta in August of 2016.

## Typo Conspiracy Theory

BrYan mis-labelled the Episode; Episode 88 is really Episode 87, and all the other Episodes are off by 1.
BeiBei

### Overview

BeiBei The Critter was an integral G.U.C.T. (Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory) predictive programming element of the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. According to Master Numerologist and Lord of the Rings fan Rik Clay, BeiBei is symbolic of water and reflects the blue Olympic ring. 'She' is the only of the Olympic Critter Gang with a Third Eye.

### Quotes

"I'm sure it's all connected -- ask BeiBei. BeiBei holds the key." - Tim Dillon, Ep #16

"We're going to monopolize world trade, we're going to do \*this\*, we're going to do \*that\*, and, uhh, you know that blue troll looking figure BeiBei -- that needs a third eye. We're going to invade Iraq, we're going to invade Afghanistan -- get China on the phone - BeiBei has two eyes - BeiBei needs a third eye or else the WHOLE THING falls apart!" - Tim Dillon, Ep #16
George Van Tassel

## **Overview**

   **George Van Tassel** was a noted emissary of The Ashtar Command and recipient of the formula for a Time Machine.

Despite being responsible for the operational efficiency of an airport, Van Tassel lived 17 miles from the nearest phone and expected people to write him a letter if they planned on using his landing strip.

Van Tassel and his wife Eva built and operated "Come on Inn", a small cafe, underneath a giant rock on their property. Reportedly, Howard Hughes would land his plane just to get a piece of Eva Van Tassel's pie (it is unknown if the two had an arrangement allowing for Hughes to land without writing Van Tassel a letter in advance of each trip).

George would also regularly meditate under the giant rock. Due to the rock's piezo-electric characteristics, Van Tassel was able to communicate with extra-terrestrials. On August 21, 1953, a spaceship from Venus landed on Van Tassel's property. Shortly after, a Venusian came to the rock where George was meditating and greeting him by saying "I am Solganda, and I would be pleased to show you my craft".

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

### **The Integratron**

The formula for a Time Machine is quite simple - there's nothing to it *to* remember.

F = (1 / T)

F being Frequency, T being Time, and 1 being the number of Crispy Crittered dicks that Phil Schneider had.

According to Van Tassel, this formula would enable one to go back to the time of Cesar provided that one is a mathematician. F = (1 / T) is also the foundation of The Integratron, a structure for scientific research into time, anti-gravity, and extended human life. As per the instructions of Nikola Tesla's ghost, The Integratron is made of wood, concrete, glass, fiber glass, and metal. It has no screws.

The formula was given to Van Tassel by Ashtar -- a tall, blonde Cuban -- so that Van Tassel could go back in time and watch old TV shows.

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

1. ↑ [1]George Van Tassel’s Amazing Integratron at Giant Rock - *Kathy Doore*
2. ↑ [2]Integratron Home Page
92

The number 92 is the number that follows the number 91, which was the number of articles the Unbelievable Wikia had for, like, 3 or 4 weeks and I was tired of it. So now we have 92.

☀It is also the number of stable chemical elements currently known.

ALSO--Flight 11 had 92 passengers, 9+1+1=11 or 9+(1+1)= 911! OR if you take the number of hijackers and airplanes and passengers and make a numbered list and then circle all the 9s and 1s and erase all the other numbers, and then take only 2 of the 1s and 1 of the 9s and put them in this order: 9 1 1, then guess what?! It's 911!!! So scary! Basically the number 92 is 911. And 911 is basically just 666. The 9 is an upside down 6 and the 1s are devil horns. I hope to God this wiki entry doesn't frighten young children too much!

AND 92 is the numerical value of the Hebrew word Jachin, one of the two columns of the Temple of Solomon, the other being Boaz.

No one is sure what number follows 92.
"Gathering Roots"

"Gathering roots" is a secret bro code that bros can use when they know their roommates need to totally crush some puss. This is a smooth way to get some privacy without having to make it awkward in front of your chick.

> Example: "You know uhhh, there's some more roots I wanted to get.. on the other side of the mountain. I shall go and get them now."
>
>

Note: Even if privacy is not an issue, this can still be used to avoid listening to the shrill, annoying sounds that awful woman makes while your bro lays pipe.
The Unbelievable Podcast: The Movie

Coming soon, the Unbelievable MOVIE! Starring Brian Frange and Phoebe Tyers, with soundtrack by AC\_Dollar$ign (Pending approval)

"Someone (or someTHING) is killing the Illuminati one by one, and only the hosts of the Unbelievable Podcast might be able to put the pieces together. But only if they can learn to unlearn everything they knoooooow!!"

BRIEF SYNOPSIS:

The Illuminati, the REAL Illuminati, were meant to be immortal. They began life in 433 BC as a group of Alchemists working together to find the Elixir of Life--to create a real fountain of youth. Working in secret in China, labelled "anarchemists" (anarchist alchemists) by the rest of the world and banned by religious and political leaders, this diverse group of men and women from all over the ancient world succeeded in their goal. Except the immortality they found was a fragile one. Impervious to aging, disease, viruses.....but still not invincible. Nevertheless, over the next 2000+ years, these ancient scientists were able to amass great wealth and power and become the Illuminati or Shadow government, pulling strings throughout the world. But, in the present day, someone or something is killing them off. Could a serial killer have discovered their secret? Could it be one of them?While the rest of the world takes no notice and scoffs at the very thought of the Illuminati's existence, only the hosts of a small conspiracy theory podcast seem to have connected the dots of these murders! And they suspect Reptilians---but it is the only lead or hope the Illuminati have.

Men in black are dispatched to New York and Los Angeles to pick up Brian and Phoebe. They are each put on board underground rail cars and are reunited at the Denver Airport where they board a private airplane (spewing chemtrails all the way) and are flown to a private island somewhere in the south Pacific. The dominant structure on the Island is a Mayan pyramid and a bigger more ornate version of The Georgia Guidestones and StoneHenge. They are taken into a mansion--the only house on the small Island--and a small faction of the Illuminati meet with them and make them an offer they cannot refuse. But only if they can catch the killer(s)!

What happens next?? Watch the movie, coming to a multiplex near you. SOON!

(This film is not yet rated. But the film contains graphic language and violence. Also adult themes and graphic nudity. Phoebe Tyers does NOT appear nude in this film, but Brian Frange is nude for most of the film's running time. This was a choice made by the actor against all advice. Frange kept claiming "I feel like my character would be nude for this scene" regardless of setting. Clothing is being digitally added to Frange in post and has delayed the film's release, possibly by years. More on this as it develops.)
Phoebe and the Brian episode 1

Episode 198 the Immortal Jellyfish

Phoebe enters the room (she is wearing some things I don't care it's not important to the story) “What are we going to do tonight Brian?” Phoebe asks inquisitively Brian turns and yells “Same thing we do every night Phoebe try to take over the world” ( music starts up) “they're Phoebe and the Br” (for legal reasons our lawyer said we cannot do anymore of this song) Phoebe states “well how are we going to do that Brian?” “It's simple really” Brian walks to a corkboard covered in string, photos and other conspiracy like memorabilia he continues “We are going to clog the world's oceans with jellyfish starting with the beaches in LA then once we do that we can hold the world's oceans for ransom until we finally get T-shirt money hahahahaha” Phoebe walks over looks at the cork board “But Brian aren't the LA beaches home to sea turtles the natural predators of jellyfish” “Silence Phoebe now grab my bag and let's go we have work to do” ( we are going to jump to the end cause this is running long just assume that Brian continues to carry out his ultimate plan as Phoebe points out the paradox that he's getting himself into also I guess Sebastian is somewhere asking people on the street the marry, bang, kill question or he's eating corn lol I don't know. And Victoria is off plotting her revenge but that's a story for another day) (cut to LA beaches tons of sea turtles feasting on all the jellyfish that Brian some how amassed in the ocean) a defeated Brian sits on the beach staring into the ocean Phoebe walks up wearing a “save the sea turtle” shirt ( this is important! but I'm gonna continue with the story) “I'm sorry your plan didn't work Brian but it's like I always say you can't have peanut butter without some jelly”  Brian stands “come we must plan for tomorrow night” “what are we going to do tomorrow night?” “Same thing we do every night Phoebe try to get T-shirt money”
Al Roker

In 2012, Al Roker, weather anchor for The Today Show, appeared to have a robot-like malfunction on live television. When co-host Savannah Guthrie mentioned the Holy Ghost, Roker stared at the camera and froze, unblinking, for about 17 seconds. When asked about this later on the show, Roker gave a very interesting response:

*"I don't know, I just — you said the — I just kind of…I don't know. I just — it happens all the time."*

Many conspiracy theorists seem to believe that Roker is a victim of MK Ultra and "Holy Ghost" may be some sort of trigger. I don't know if I can believe that, but that shit is weird. There is a link below to the clip if you want to see it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v82-MPeCPnM
Hoshizora Rin

**Hoshizora Rin** es una de las nueve integrantes del grupo μ’s y actual líder del mismo. Rin es una estudiante de primer año en la Preparatoria Otonokizaka y amiga de la infancia de Koizumi Hanayo. Su cumpleaños es el 1 de Noviembre. También es miembro de la sub-unidad Lily White. Su color principal es el amarillo pero también es comúnmente representada con el turquesa y su principal atributo en el juego es **Smile**. Su actriz de voz es Iida Riho.

## Apariencia

Rin es una marimacho por lo cual su aspecto en general suele ser poco femenino. Tiene cabello corto de color anaranjado cobrizo y unos ojos de color cartuja. Al igual que sucede con *Sonoda Umi* hay ocasiones en las cuales en contraste a los demás miembros del grupo se le ve usando pantalones cortos.

## Personalidad

Desde pequeña ha sido un tanto masculina al igual que una amante de los deportes. Es bastante determinada y se esfuerza mucho en lograr sus objetivos. A menudo suele intentar actuar como un gato terminando sus frases en *nya~!*  o curvando su boca asemejándose al hocico del animal. También, al igual que Yazawa Nico suele hablar en tercera persona.

Es centro en las siguientes canciones:

* Yuujou no Change
* Takaramonozu
* Love wing bell
* Hello, Hoshi o Kazoete
* Kimi No Kuse Ni!
* Onaji Hoshi ga Mitai

 **Habilidad del centro: Smile Power**Aumenta el poder de smile

 **Habilidad del centro: Pure Power**Aumenta el poder de pure

 **Habilidad del centro: Cool Power**Aumenta el poder de cool

 **Habilidad del centro: Smile Heart**Aumenta los puntos de smile un 6%
Johnny T

## Overview

John 'Johnny T' Sollitto is an American stand-up comedian, rickshaw driver, coincidence theorist and Youtuber from Red Hook, New York. Johnny has made guest appearances on the Unbelievable Podcast on numerous occasions. He is known for his crude and oftentimes un-PC humor, as well as his popular Youtube channel that hosts clips from his comedy performances as well as videos that deal with conspiratorial and political topics. His main video series is named Coincidence or Conspiracy Theatre and his most popular video has accumulated over 313,000 views. You can find Johnny T on the streets of New York driving people around with his rickshaw on many nights. He is easily recognizable from his Spongebob t-shirt, propeller cap and the sign on the back of his rickshaw that proclaims ”Lesbians on board (please!)”.

## 2013 Banksy Mural Incident

Johnny gained notoriety in 2013 when he painted the words ”INSIDE JOB” and an arrow in pink spray paint pointing at a 9/11 themed mural by the artist Banksy. The stunt was reported in the NY Post.

## Podcast Appearances

Johnny T made his first appearance on the Unbelievable Podcast on episode one where he debated then-co-host Leo Martin about the true nature of the 9/11 terror attacks.

Johnny's last appearance as of this writing was on episode 124 when he returned to discuss his theory of the death of Bob Marley.

## References

1. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/user/2JOHNNYT
2. ↑ http://nypost.com/2013/10/15/banksy-dares-vandals-with-latest-design/
Henry Kissinger

Henry Kissinger is an American diplomat, political scientist, and reptile person. He has been an integral member of the Modern Shadow Government (MSG) since the Nixon administration. A certified creep and weirdo, Kissinger droppings are certain to be uncovered anywhere that the world's power-elite gather to shit on the 99.8% of humanity who simply want to live their lives in peace (e.g. The Bilderberg Group, Bohemian Grove, Council on Foreign Relations (CFR), Underground Vril(l) Cloning Centers, etc.)

Under circumstances similar to those in which Barrack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize prior to murdering Pakistani children with drones, Henry Kissinger was awarded a Nobel Peace Prize in 1973 for negotiating a Vietnam War cease fire that never actually occurred.

### Personal Life

- KK spends most of his time sunbathing on a heat rock, curled up with his special buddy Herbert, Herbert.

- While serving as US Secretary of State, in 1975 Kissinger visited with Jamaican Prime Minister Manley in a private meeting to assure him that there was “no attempt now underway involving covert actions against the Jamaican government.” KK dug the tense and chaotic political climate of Jamaica so much so that he arranged to take over Aston Barrett's role as bassist in The Wailers, Bob Marley's backing band, so that he could be at the center of the action.
Bears

Bears are not real. They do not exist. WAKE UP, MORONS!

 The Illuminati and other Powers That Be keep trying to push the existence of bears on us: they pop up everywhere. Remember Yogi Bear, which tried to indoctrinate children into believing in bears? Or Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Or Winnie The Pooh? (I guess he was a bear. He was a pooh, whatever the fuck that is. Doesn't matter; there's more): Chicago has a sports team called the Bears, some hairy gay men self-identify as "bears", animatronic bears are featured at pizza restaurants!  The bear agenda is being shoved down our throats. The movie The Revenant is just one recent example of fake bears in movies. Stephen Colbert featured bears on the Colbert report all the time (as a threat), Conan O'Brien has a masturbating bear. And there is the movie Ted and the sequel. Plus children are given "teddy bears" which is also an Elvis Presley song which Prince covered unofficially at concerts (Elvis & Prince--not dead, BTW).

Just like the Globe agenda, you will notice how bears are being absolutely forced upon us! And don't even get me started on so-called "polar bears" and the TV show LOST. The Earth has no poles, much less polar bears! NASA knows this. Jack Hanna knows this! Bear Grylls knows this!  For God's sake--Pandas are not real; Koalas are not real! They don't even LOOK real!

Have you ever seen a bear just out in the wild? Of course not! No one ever has.  I have walked around my neighborhood many many times and never once saw a bear, and I was really looking.  People who claim to have seen bears are lying or have actually seen bigfoot and thought it was a bear.

Now, I can't say why they are pushing this bear agenda or why they have spent all this money creating animated bears to be in zoos, and You Tube videos etc. But we can't be sheep about this! (not that I believe in sheep. Know what? I tried counting sheep once....there were only like 14. That's it. 14 sheep.)

I think it is pretty obvious to anyone who is really paying attention that bears do not exist. Noah had no bears on the ark.

When the good lord above created this flat Earth, He put no bears upon it!

What kind of God would create bears!?!

I felt the truth about bears needed to be out there and not suppressed by the pro-bear media. We live on a flat, bearless, plate with no North or South Poles!

If I were not just a simple blue-collar guy, I could explain all of this. In other words, if I were a scientist or some other type of expert, I could explain this better. But, for the love of God, don't ask any scientists or experts. They are all in on it. So is the Media and zoologists.

Bears! HA!

   \*\*A slightly different version of this was read aloud by "Hollywood" (?) Brian Frange on The Unbelievable Podcast episode 149. It is submitted here, not as parody of the total idiocy of Flat Earth Theory, but as a debut conspiracy theory, because, c'mon, bears? No fuckin' way!