Iris Drinks a Mountain Dew Pitch Black/Transcript

Transcript for the fanon Season 12 episode Iris Drinks a Mountain Dew Pitch Black.

## Part 1: Chained up

* *[intro plays, title card appears]*
* PINKALICIOUS: Iris Drinks a Mountain Dew Pitch Black!
* *[episode starts with the outside of Iris's house shown. It is shown she's chained up]*
* IRIS: Ooh... ahh... get me out of here...
* *[the door says "STAY OUT!" on it. Iris's two dads knock on the door and open it]*
* IVAN: Iris, how's being locked up?
* IRIS: Thank goodness you're here! You have to let me go! It's been 4 months!
* IZAAK: You're right. It's been 4 months. We've been thinking about it for a while.
* IVAN: But remember the last music experiment you were a part of?
* *[it shows a flashback to what happened where Iris played an instrument too loud shattering the windows of the place she practiced in, similar to what happened in the Band Geeks SpongeBob episode]*
* IRIS: *[in flashback]* Oh no... did I just break this place's windows like how everyone played at once?
* *[back to the present]*
* IRIS: But I didn't know what I was playing was gonna be this loud.
* IZAAK: You really gotta work in practicing in better places. Remember when you played in a computer lab where everyone was playing Webkinz? It was also not a good idea to play when there was a fire nearby. Also, remember what happened to the yard?
* *[flashback is shown where the yard is all distorted due to Iris's playing]*
* IVAN: We know about your playing in secret, Iris. It's not a secret anymore.
* IRIS: I get it now. Anyways, what's for dinner?
* IZAAK: A single bacon-wrapped shrimp.
* IRIS: I don't think that's enough to fill me up.

## Part 2: Busting Iris out

* *[Pinkalicious, Peter, and Jasmine were looking out the window]*
* PINKALICIOUS: Oh no! We better bust our new friend out!
* PETER: Glad we all came here! Now how are we gonna get in?
* *[the dads hear the noise from outside]*
* IVAN: Iris, did you call your friends to come and save you?
* IZAAK: I think we're better off saving you by ourselves.
* *[the blinds get closed]*
* JASMINE: We need new disguises! It's much more fun saving her together!

## Part 3: New disguises

* *[Pinkalicious, Peter, and Jasmine get on their disguises]*
* IVAN: That better be the repair guy at the door. *[answers the door]*
* PINKALICIOUS: Hello there, we're the people you hired to repair your sink.
* IZAAK: Wait a minute. Something feels off. Something feels suspicious.
* PETER: No, no, you got it all wrong, there's nothing suspicious here.
* IVAN: Isn't your dad our maintenance guy? Also what's that behind you?
* JASMINE: What? Behind me? Nothing, nothing.
* IZAAK: Is that what we think it is? Is that a Mountain Dew VooDew 4? Give me that.
* PETER: No, no, no, no, no, no, wait!
* IVAN: Aha! A Mountain Dew VooDew! You were trying to hide this from us? Here. Take this instead. *[gives them a Mountain Dew VooDew 4 Zero Sugar]*
* PINKALICIOUS: What... what is this? A Mountain Dew VooDew 4... Diet?
* IZAAK: It's sugar free so it must mean it's better for you.
* JASMINE: Diet...?

## Part 4: Get up, Iris

* PINKALICIOUS: Iris, Iris, get up, get up!
* PETER: It's us! Your friends!
* JASMINE: How are we gonna get you out of these chains? A laser blaster would be really dangerous for this purpose.
* PINKALICIOUS: Let's just try and pull them off her! Hold still, Iris!
* *[they tried pulling them off off her]*
* IVAN: The maintenance guy is here, try not to-- whoa, what are you all doing here?
* PETER: Trying to get her out! But it's not working!
* JASMINE: There's got to be a better way!
* *[Dr. Goo cheat menu appears. Cheat code "0027" is entered to break Iris out of the chains]*
* IRIS: How did that happen? Thanks, magical cheat menu that appeared out of nowhere!
* IZAAK: Well that was quick. We didn't need to do anything.
* IVAN: Glad to have you back, Iris, but promise you'll be more careful when playing your instruments next time?
* IRIS: I will, dads. I'm glad to be free again. What's wrong, Pinkalicious?
* PINKALICIOUS: We gave up a perfectly good VooDew, your dad gave us a VooDew Diet, and Fruit Quake just does not have the same flavor that VooDew has.
* PETER: Yeah! And this sugar free stuff just isn't as good!
* IZAAK: Oh, it's fine. I got a surprise for the four of you. It'll make you all feel better.
* IRIS: You do?
* IVAN: Yep! I got the Mountain Dew Pitch Black!

## Part 5: Pitch Black is back

* *["Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head" by BJ Thomas plays. The four friends each take a sip of their Pitch Blacks]*
* PINKALICIOUS: Wow, this stuff is good!
* PETER: I can get by this! It's my favorite color too!
* JASMINE: I haven't seen this in like, what, 3 years, and now it's back!
* IRIS: I can't wait for this to hit stores in the beginning of next year so I can have more!
* *[cuts to a scene of Iris playing baseball with his two dads outside]*
* 1033FOREST: *[narrating]* The people of Dew Nation asked and asked, and it's coming back. Mountain Dew Pitch Black. It's back and better than ever. You can find it in stores starting on January 1st, 2023. Now I'll be off to a helicopter ride since I heard the view down there is really beautiful.