Everything's A Drum

The sketch in Housemates

The sketch at the MICF Gala in 2017

The sketch after Aw Yeah at Just For Laughs 2017 in Montreal

**Everything's A Drum** is a sketch and song by Aunty Donna.

## Plot

Mark, Zach and Broden sing about how everything is a drum, including cups, bums. and genitals. When Zach is unable to drum on a pot, it is revealed that Mark and Zach came to Broden on the promise that everything was a drum; the realization that this may have been a lie threatens to tear them apart. Fortunately, Zach finds he was just playing the pot wrong. They proceed to drum on everything to the point of destruction.

## History

The sketch first appeared at the 2017 Melbourne International Comedy Festival, where Aunty Donna performed it live. In this version, they drummed on Emien's head, got a man to drum on Mark's willy until he did a cum, and refused to drum on a lady's breasts. Zach is unable to drum on a hat. Tom Armstrong was a drum boy in the background. (*2017 Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala*)

It reappeared as the first sketch in Housemates, the first episode of Aunty Donna's Big Ol' House of Fun. In this version, Zach was unable to drum on a pot, the tension in the room after this was upped to 100, and the housemates caused extreme damage to the house. It became a song on the album Aunty Donna's Big Ol' House of Fun (Music from the Netflix Comedy Series). (*Housemates*)

At a one-off festival in Brisbane, the group had committed to a more extreme ending, which included two people in dinosaur suits walking around the stage. This may have also taken place in Aunty Donna: The Magical Dead Cat Tour. (*Super Fun Day Festival*)

## Lyrics

*These lyrics are from Aunty Donna's Big Ol' House of Fun. Other lyrics for this song are different.*

**[Chorus]**

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

**[Verse 1: Broden, Zach, Mark]**

Did you know this cup is a drum?

If that cup is a drum, then my bum is a drum

Pots, cups and even a bum

It's so much fun when everything's a drum

**[Chorus]**

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

**[Verse 2: Mark]**

Can someone's willy be a drum?

Can you make my willy go pa ra pa pum pum

I did a cum!

**[Chorus]**

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

**[Verse 3: Zach]**

I got a bad relationship with my mum

And when I think about my mum

Even that's a drum

**[Chorus]**

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

**[Verse 4: Broden]**

When you drum on things you can have a ball

Anything can be a drum

Heck, even a wall

**[Chorus]**

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

**[Verse 5: Zach]**

Hey did you know this pot is a drum?

I said did you know this pot is a drum?

**[Interlude: Zach, Broden, Mark]**

Broden, what the fuck?

You were just playing it wrong

When you came to me 15 years ago, you told me that everything was a drum

Everything is a drum

I left my wife

I let you drum on my penis-

Enough now, brother Mark

No more lies!

No more excuses!

For if that pot is not a drum-

Oh no, I got it

Oh good

**[Chorus]**

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum

Everything's a drum