Turing Enduring/transcript

**\*Big is seen plastering little bits of tape onto a turing machine\***

**Big: Tape strip number 926, tape strip number 927, tape strip number, uhh, what's the number that comes after that? oh right, tape strip number 928, I think that should be enough tape strips for now.**

**\*Small comes into the scene with a fencing sword and a medieval helmet\***

**Small: Yarr! Have at thee! En garde! I bite my tooter at you! I eat imaginary enemies like you for breakfa-**

**Big: SMALL SMALL SMALL! BE ABSOLUTELY CAREFUL!**

**Small: \*Takes off helmet\* What's your problem Big? Couldn't you see I was in the middle of fencing practice?**

**Big: Well Small, you came at the right time, as you can see, I'm making my greatest invention yet.**

**Small: \*Looks at turing machine\* Ooh, a double tape dispenser, now you can seal two cardboard boxes at the same time, you're a genius!**

**Big: Wh- It's not JUST a double tape dispenser Small, it's an abstract mathematical model known as a turing machine.**

**Small: Wow, that must be interesting, I just know it's interesting because it uses a word I didn't know existed, tooring, hahaha! such a funny word.**

**Big: Well Small, turing is named after the creator Alan Turing, who figured out that if you utilize zeros and ones on infinite tape strips, you can compute EVERYTHING! well, with the exception of the halting problem but that's not something one would do on a regular basis.**

**Small: \*Gasp\* Can it make it rain carrots out of the sky?**

**Big: I said compute everything, not do everything.**

**Small: Okay Big, can it COMPUTE raining carrots out of the sky?**

**Big: \*Frustrated Sigh\* I mean as in everything you can do on a computer or a gaming console, you can do on this contraption, I'll give out a few examples from this book.**

**Small: I mean, if you have infinite amounts of tape then surely you'd have infinite amounts of carrots-**

**Big: IT'S THEORETICAL SMALL! just, listen to what this book has to say, okay?**

**Small: Okay, and sorry for bothering you.**

**\*Big whips out a book with a picture of a Turing Machine on it\***

**Big: Theoretically, Turing Machines are able to perform the same tasks computers do on a regular basis, such as editing documents, compiling code, playing music or videos, or even running BROOM!**

**Small: Broom? I like that game, but how are you going to see or hear the enemies on the screen if the only way of seeing and hearing things is on zeros and ones on tape strips?**

**Big: Oh, good point Small, every electronic device is capable of playing broom, but can you really play it if you can't see or hear where you're going?**

**Small: You also failed to mention if Turing Machines are capable of changing the channel, like this.**

**\*Small presses the remote control, causing the TV to change from the news channel to the Lenny Henry show\***

**Big: But small, that's because of the infrared light wave transmitter, which is a PHYSICAL thing, not a digital thing.**

**Small: But you just said Turing Machines can compute anything!**

**Big: Computing INSIDE the Turning Machine, to compute outside of it would require other gadgets compatible with the Turing Machine that are capable of what the Turing Machine asks the gadget to-**

**\*Big stops in the middle of his sentence because he got an idea\***

**Big: Small, I think you just gave me a brilliant idea!**

**Small: ... I did? Oh yeah, I did, because I'm so smart, haha!**

**Big: If I can make accessories for the Turing Machine that can read the code from the tape strips, I could compute a perfect simulation of the UNIVERSE!**

**\*Small pokes Big's head with the TV remote\***

**Small: Still couldn't change the TV channel if you tried!-**

**Big: ENOUGH ALREADY!**

**Small: \*Laughs a bit but suddenly stops\* Sorry!**

**Big: Now, what should I make for the Turing Machine first? maybe like a monitor or a microphone or a radio transmitter? the monitor one should be easy if I can have it read the binary code in a similar manner to a barcode scanner...**

**\*Big grabs a notepad and pencil while walking offscreen, Small takes the Turing Machine book and proceeds to look at the back cover\***

**Small: Turing complete programming languages are responsible for everything the highest-spec computers do? Oh I'll show them turing complete, it'll be more turing complete then turing completeness itself! It's going to be so high-spec, I'll win MILLIONS and BILLIONS of nobel prizes! HAHAHA!**

WIP