Player (Average Silly Story)

Not much is known about the player in ASS. They were allies with Baron von racism and the Gas Cloud, but are now only allies with the Assassin.

## History

### Average Silly Story

###### Warp 1

The player wakes up in their home and someone knocks on the door. The player answers and finds a man called Benjamin at the door. He comes inside with a friend called Giles and the player throws them out. This is when Benjamin is supposedly 'killed' and Giles runs away.

The player tries to hide the body in a garbage container, but Giles knocks them unconscious with his metal pipe. The player wakes up and asks why he is there, Giles says he is going to kill the player before getting knocked unconscious by Benjamin's previous ally, Baron von racism.

After Baron joins the player's party, the player and Baron von racism get locked in a kitchen and 'toxic gas' was released out of nowhere. This caused a Gas Cloud to appear. The player decides to talk to the Gas Cloud and eventually becomes friends with it.

Later in the story, the player signals for Baron to shoot an officer when they try and trespass into a mansion. This causes the Gas Cloud to leave the party for most of the game until later. Baron and the player are able to complete the robbery of the mansion and steal some tickets and decoy money. They are able to hotwire a car and escape any police.

After recruiting the gas cloud again, the player, Baron and the Gas Cloud encounter a bunker (where the Rich People's Hideout is) later in the story. The cloud and Baron both go into it and the player stays outside to wait. The player asks them to try to find Benjamin Banks and steal anything they see while they're there.

While waiting, he stumbles upon a text message on his phone from an unknown person. It asks him to come to the woods. The player goes to the woods and meets John Hathorne, a book salesman and writer, for the first time. The player chooses to buy a $1 book, a weapons guide.

Later that day, the player (along with Baron and the Gas Cloud) approaches John in his hideout. The player asks why the book was in latin, and John says that he gave the player the wrong version.

The player ends up buying the special latin version and John helps teach the player some latin. The player looks through the book and at the back of the book, the player finds a blackmail note (from SK) and shows it to John. John runs to the SL (Secret Lab) to try and negotiate with SK.

The player, Baron and the Gas Cloud run after John and meet the Salem Tailor at the City of Salem (later known as Old Salem). The player purchases a walking cane and winter hat to try and get there quicker as the temperatures were decreasing the closer they got to the SL. This causes the group to have to leave the Gas Cloud behind so he wouldn't condense.

When they reach the SL, Baron splits off and the player wastes a lot of time. They meet the talking safe (originally from SusChaw Game) and a homeless man who is actually Richard Moneybags in disguise. Richard gives the player $10,000 as a reward for giving the homeless man $0.01...

Anyways, the player reaches the final room with a keypad asking for a four-digit code. Eventually, after looking through several books including; Jimmothy Biggothy, Dave the Squirrel and a Guide to Killing, the player finds the code in Buffter's File which is his date of death (5545), 5/5/45.

When the player gets into the room, he finds Baron unconscious and John dead. This causes the player to attack the SK, but the player fails. Benjamin kills the SK when the player throws money at him.

The player explores the Secret Lab further, and finds an unknown door which turns out to be a Time Machine. The player enters 69.

###### Warp 2

The player teleports back to when John ran out of the hideout. The player rushes to get to the Secret Lab and finds the Salem Tailor again on the way. The player steals the cane from the Salem Tailor and makes a super cane. The player smashes the Tailor's head with their cane, which leads to a fight.

The player wins the fight and with their newly found speed, the player runs to the Secret Lab. On the way, they see a man who drops a card on the floor. The card has an address on it.

The player eventually gets inside the Secret Lab and finds John, and talks to him. The conversation is cut short when the Serial Killer stabs John from behind, killing him. The Serial Killer has their head crushed when the Safe jumps on their head.

The safe shows the player where the time machine is and the safe stays behind in the Secret Lab while the player warps, entering 119.

###### Warp 3

As the player ends up at the same moment, the safe once again shows the player where the time machine is and the safe stays behind in the Secret Lab while the player warps, this time entering 1.5.

###### Warp 4

The player ends up at their front door and decide not to open it. The player instead goes to the forest and overhears a conversation between the Assassin and John Hathorne.

The player talks to John and tells him to confess to his crimes and what he did with the Serial Killer. Before John does this, he asks the player if he has anything that needs to get done before he goes. The player asks to go to a random castle.

The player "dies" and wakes up on a plane going to Aberdeen, Scotland. The player attempts to jump off the plane multiple times here.

Even though the player jumps out of the plane. Android's Booger (the timekeeper) decides to stop the player from killing themself, and therefore leads Android's Booger to cut the plane in half. This causes the player to fall to the ground and become severely injured.

When the player is about to die, the Assassin offers to help the player, which the player agrees to. They both travel to a forest and look for the King, who is the Assassin's target.