Chapter 43: I Hate Yamada

I Hate Yamada is the forty-third Chapter of Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu.

## Summary

Ichikawa is reading during class, and Yamada enters the room. His expression brightens, but immediately fades and he breaks eye contact. Her reaction is one of pain and confusion. He comments about how he hasn't been to the library for two days, and how he has realized that Yamada is just another awful person in his life.

After class, he gets up to leave, and Yamada follows after him, trying to get his attention. She calls out to him, but he ignores her, and he picks up the pace to keep away from her, but she catches up and suddenly grabs him and pins him to a wall, leaning in close and asking him if he's mad. He doesn't react and she recoils, asking if she's too close. He tries to deny being angry, but can't even finish his sentence, and says that he is in a hurry, and so begins to leave. She begins to cry, and apologizes, and he asks himself if he wounded her pride, and whether she even cared about the feelings of those she used. She pulls out a packet of napkins, the same ones that he gave when she bloodied her nose, and begins to wipe her face, and while doing so, spills several on the ground. Remembering the image of her looking at the napkins on the table, he reconsiders, knowing that Yamada isn't the kind of person who would do such a thing. He lies, saying he had things to do during lunch break. She asks again if he's mad, and he considers the question, thinking back to when he got the Smitch gaming system, and how his sister offered to ask his mother to get him one. Though he had played it for two hours at the store, he denies wanting it, making up excuses, because he figures he couldn't get one anyway. He was only looking for reasons to hate it, like he was with Yamada, because liking something you can't have is scary. Suddenly, Yamada walks up to him and wraps her arms around him, surprising him, but quickly breaking it off. She again apologizes, bringing up how he didn't want her getting that close, but he grabs her forearms, saying he didn't say anything about not wanting it. She takes him to the corner beside the stairwell, and restarts the hug. He leans into it, but despite his best efforts, can't bring himself to hug her back, leaving his hands shaking at her sides. He again considers the manga, telling the thought to disappear. They break the hug, and Yamada, back in high spirits, says they should head home together, and rushes off to grab her bag. He agrees, but says he needs to use the toilet first.

Bonus Pages include:

* A rough draft of Yamada talking with Ichikawa while he walks with his bike.

* Another angle of the hug by the stairwell, showing that Yamada practically tackles him in the process.

* An image of Ichikawa recalling the sensation of the hug, with his hands on a pillow, trying to replicate the feeling of her breasts to poor effect.

* Yamada in sportswear.

* An image of Ichikawa thinking of Yamada's sweater as her.

## Trivia

* The cover page shows Yamada with a blue butterfly, a motif that is also on the cover pages of 42 and 53. In Asian countries it's supposed to symbolize love and finding your soul mate.

* Ichikawa Implied Masturbation Count: 4.