Swing and a Miss, Swing and a Hit

**Swing and a Miss, Swing and a Hit** is Episode 6 of D.R.D.'s second season.

## Synopsis

Quote assembles Void, Bazz, Sharoff and Dimentio to assassinate the Theft King as per Chris' orders, only to find out he's hiding in a pizza place from Quote's childhood.

## Cast

* TheVoidofDrawings as Void and Stone
* QuotePuro as Quote
* Bowserboy44 as Bazz
* Sharoff0105 as Sharoff and Bonnie
* TheGreatDimentio as Dimentio and Theft King

## Trivia

* This is the first completed episode for the series, believe it or not.
* It was written by QuotePuro, though Void made some edits here and there.
* Originally, the episode was supposed to be in the first season until Void decided to change it.

## Transcript

**Quote:** Thanks for coming on such short notice, gang!

(They pace around an old rented out office, empty bottles of Dr. Pepper scattered about, a few guns on the wall. Void, Sharoff, Dimentio, and Bazz are taking a seat)

**Sharoff:** Don’t worry! How come we’re here, though?

**Quote:** Apparently we’re just… straight up killing a guy? Some weirdo called Theft King.

**Dimentio:** …You’re kidding, right?

**Quote:** No- according to Chris, the guy’s brain dead enough to legally be considered as a zombie.

**Dimentio:** No, I mean-

**Quote:** Yeah, and apparently Chris is the one who wants him dead?

**Dimentio:** No, like… Theft King! Do you not know who this guy is!?

**Quote:** …No? All I know is that he’s camping out in some old pizzeria, and Chris wants him dead. Some kinda ‘public service’ to society to kill him?

**Void:** Hooo’key, we’ve gotta speed you up. Making a long story short; he’s a self-destructive, egotistical idiot who told a fanverse dev he was going to Hell, dismisses any critique, is egotistical as ALL Hell… Do I need to go on?

**Quote:** …He doesn’t sound very polite.

**Void:** Yeah, no shit, man!

**Bazz:** Wait, what old pizzeria?

**Quote:** Think it was called… (They grab a piece of paper, reading it) eh… Candy’s B- No, Popgoes’ Pizzeria?

**Sharoff:** Oh, I used to go there all the time! At least I remember as such…

**Dimentio:** I’ve been once or twice, too. Those robots creep me the hell out.

**Quote:** Came for the crappy pizza, stayed for Blake!

**Bazz:** The heck is with your obsession with him?

**Quote:** Bazz- I would do anything for that man. Anything…

**Bazz:** (judgemental\_stare.jpg)

**Dimentio:** Well, that aside, we know our location, our target - you guys wanna get going?

**Void:** Sure, let’s move.

(The gang readied their weapons, hopped into an old van, and drove off…)

**12AM**

**Bazz:** Alright, this looks like the place!

(They hopped out. The building was in it’s usual condition, save for a giant, crudely-made sign, reading “POPGOES IS DOOMED???”)

**Dimentio:** Oh, hey, he’s clickbaiting buildings now.

(Cici flies to the front door, as Sharoff does the same. She grabs a key from under the doormat, trying to fit it in, though it refuses to do so)

**Sharoff:** Huh… It’s no good.

**Void:** Let me try!

**Bazz:** Woah, WOAH!-

(Void approaches the door, a grenade launcher in hand. An explosion rings out in the street, as the front door is blasted wide open!)

**Quote:** …I mean- that works, I guess?

**Void:** Explosions always work!

**Quote:** No they don't, Void. You can't solve all your problems with explosions.

**Void:** (He mumbles, pouting) YOU can't solve all your problems...

**Dimentio:** Shut up, Void. (He walked by him)

(Void pouted as he followed the group heads inside, the building in slight disrepair… but still in a decent state. Quote hands everyone some radios)

**Quote:** Alright; me and Void will check out the office and Parts and Service, there’s a good chance he’s hangin’ out there. You guys got the dining hall, arcade, all that jazz?

**Bazz:** Sounds like a plan!

**Quote:** Alright, let’s kick some thieving ass!

(Them and Void head off, guns in hand, as the other three sneak around the kitchen, peeking inside. Meanwhile, Bazz grabs a slice of pizza out of curiosity. He takes a brief bite from it, and swiftly regrets his choice)

**Bazz:** …Is this stuff actually made of cardboard?

**Sharoff:** I think it’s recycled, too…

**Dimentio:** Still makes it better than Freddy’s.

**Bazz:** You’ve been there before? …What was it like?

**Dimentio:** I almost lost my frontal lobe to Balloon Boy, Bazz.

**Bazz:** …Oh.

(The group passes through the kitchen, and heads to the Arcade Room, slowly entering)

**Bazz:** So he’s not here, either… weird.

**Sharoff:** Wait, the heck? Some of these are still on?

(The group approached a few arcade games, their screens still flashing, illuminating the dark play area…)

**Dimentio:** …That’s probably killing the power bill beyond belief, but it’s all fine.

**Bazz:** Yeah... (He looks around, spotting an arcade game) Ooh, look! A game! (He points at it, and runs off to play it)

**Sharoff:** Really, Bazz?

(Bazz puts exactly 4.99 into a machine, booting up the game, of which was titled ‘WeaselWorld’, and then looked back at Dimentio)

**Bazz:** Come on, I haven't played a video game for an hour straight!

**Dimentio:** You just played games on your phone 30 minutes ago.

**Sharoff:** I think you have an addiction, Bazz.

**Bazz:** Whatever, I'm still gonna play.

**Sharoff:** Bazz!

**Bazz:** You guys can play too if you want.

**Sharoff:** Oh, yay!

**Dimentio:** And you're sure we’ve got the time for this?

**Sharoff:** It’s an arcade game, I doubt this’ll be long. Plus, we’re not really on a time limit, right?

**Dimentio:** Fair point… Alright, let’s do this!

(Bazz, Sharoff, and Dimentio crowd around the machine, beginning to play the game)

**Sharoff:** So this is an RPG? Seems a bit… Long for an arcade game, huh?

**Bazz:** It’s got a save feature from the looks of it, and plus, we’ve got all night, right?

**Sharoff:** That’s true, yeah!

(The three of them progress through the game, soon finding themselves face to face with Chica…)

**1AM**

(Void and Quote are wandering around in the maze-like halls, guns in hand)

**Quote:** And I mean, we were only able to go once, but… we played Simon Says together that day, I went into that server room, he showed up… I dunno, I just think the guy’s neat, you know?

**Void:** I mean, sure, but it doesn’t explain having that much of an affection towards some badger robot… You’re kinda freaking me out here.

**Quote:** You don’t get it, man! We were-

(The two hear a sudden crash from the end of the hallway. Rushing over, guns in hand, the two find themselves staring into one of the security offices, locked off with a blast door, and tempered glass. Some kind of wolf-like being is inside, typing on a computer)

**Quote:** Hey, uh… sir? Would you happen to know a ‘Theft King’? Apparently a bit of a rude dude around here?

**T.K.:** …That’s the first thing you’re gonna say to me?

**Void:** So you’re him!?

**T.K.:** To be completely honest, I’m kind of offended you don’t recognize me.

**Quote:** I literally just heard of you today!

**Void:** So, to give you the short version, Mr. Theft - we’re here to kill you.

**T.K.:** Seriously!? After all I’ve done for the community!?

**Void:** I mean… yeah…?

**T.K.:** I’m just glad I was expecting company…- but you won’t stop me, I’ll inform the community of news until the end of time! POPGOES!

(The both of them turn around to the end of the hall. A robotic weasel in a green vest and top hat began approaching the crew, it’s usual eyes replaced with a distinct neon green…)

**T.K.:** Take out the subhuman trash, will you?

**Quote:** I haven’t been here in a decade, like… is this how they usually act?

(The weasel raised an arm, Void yanking Quote away from his swipe.)

**Quote:** YARP-!

**Void:** Hell no, RUN!

(The two dart off, firing at the animatronic as it chases after them)

**Void:** Go, go go go-!

(The both of them rush into the kitchen, Popgoes following close behind. Bullets fly at him, but he seems unaffected, approaching the two)

**Quote:** Wait, WAIT-!

(The weasel leaps at them. Quote barely leaps out of the way, with the weasel hopping straight into a pizza oven)

**Void:** THERE!

(Quote holds the oven’s door shut, as Void cranks the heat up. After a few moments, they hear sparks from the oven… and nothing. Popping the oven door open, while intact, it seems like the robot’s fallen apart!)

**Void:** …That was weirdly easy, but I ain’t complaining.

**2AM**

**Sharoff:** Alright, Bonnie down!

(Sharoff lands the finishing blow on Bonnie, the other two nodding)

**Bazz:** Yeah, we’re getting through this… surprisingly quickly!

(The gang keeps on playing. While some of the graphics seem to be glitching a bit, the group progresses smoothly!)

**Dimentio:** Wait, if Fazbear’s is still a thing, how are these guys able to use their characters?

**Bazz:** Legal loopholes, probably… oh, Foxy!

(With some Sick Gaming Skill™, Foxy is trounced! And the group’s reward is given, a new skill…)

**Sharoff:** …Hook?

**Dimentio:** Hook!? Bazz has hookers!?

**Bazz:** Wh- No-! I don’t-

(Dimentio grabs onto the radio he was given, a massive grin on his face)

**Dimentio:** Guys, Bazz has hookers!

**Void:** Oh hell, seriously? Nice!

**Bazz:** I don’t-!

**Void:** Congrats, man!

**Bazz:** For the last time, I don’t!

**Dimentio:** Says so on the screen- huh?

(Bazz’s hand slipped on the joystick, leading the group into a hidden wall. For a while, they wander around in a void-like location. The group begins to traverse a few old rooms in the game, walking over pieces of code, old rooms)

**Dimentio:** …The hell’s all this?

**Bazz:** These look nowhere near as good as the main game, is… Is this from an old build of it or something?

**Dimentio:** Eh, could be?

**Sharoff:** Oh, there’s a boss portal there!

(She pointed to the screen, as the group entered a fight with… Bonnie?)

**Corrupt Bonnie:** So you’re the one who beat the others? Well? Come on then, let’s see it happen!

**Dimentio:** We beat this guy before, didn’t we?

**Bazz:** Alright, let’s heal up and take this guy down!

(The group healed up for a turn, as they did so, the game’s audio)

**Pbeehcg Obaavr:** SSo y\_you’re the one whoSTOP beat the oth-otherWAIT!s? (WELL, WELL, WELL) COME on CLOSER the-thennnn!

**Sharoff:** …Don’t attack him.

**Bazz:** Wait, what?

**Sharoff:** Just… wait for a second. Maybe we could check out his attacks in the meantime, get ready?

**Bazz:** That… is fair.

(The group continues to stall, as the screen glitches more and more, going completely black…)

**Dimentio:** …The hell’s that thing?

**3AM**

(BZZT-! Void takes his hand off a remote control connected to the vents. Moments later, miscellaneous robot parts fall out of the vent, their eyes flickering from a bright neon to pure black…)

**Quote:** Aaand, there goes the squirrel sisters! Sally and, uh… what’s the other one’s name? Acorn?

**Void:** Neither of those were correct, but at least they’re out of our hair, right?

**Quote:** At the very least, yeah… That’s three of the ‘bots!

(A voice comes on at the intercom as the both of them toss the robotic squirrel’s remains out the window.)

**T.K.:** How on… how are you killing these things!?

**Void:** Hard work, determination, and luck, probably.

**T.K.:** I just don’t get it, why do you two want to stay!?

**Quote:** Well, from the sounds of it, you’re kind of a rude dude, and we need to put a stop to your shenanigans! …Also, Chris offered us cash in the five digits, but mostly all that!

**T.K.:** This is about the whole ‘burning for eternity’ thing, isn’t it? You know what!? How about you two burn!?

(Hitting a button in the security room, the vent’s lasers break free from the ventilation system, nearly frying Void and Quote!)

**Void:** SHIT-!

(The both of them rush outside the art room, having caught fire…)

**Quote:** That’s… an issue.

**Void:** … Wait, hold on, that’s it! That’s how we take that sucker down!

(He grins, looking to Quote, who gains a deadpan face)

**Void:** …We grab some gas cans, and-

(The two hear what sounds like robotic footsteps, a figure approaching)

**Quote:** I think… Blake! Blake, my man! It’s b-been years, but I’m back!

(Quote rushed over to the figure, grinning like a kid on their birthday, Void following close behind. The robot steps into light)

**Quote:** Blake! I-I’m different now, but do you reco- …

**Stone:** Good evening! Take out or dine in?

**Quote:** …

**Void:** …Nani?

**4AM**

(The sound of an assault rifle’s clip being emptied rings in the background)

**Sharoff:** You think those two are alright?

**Bazz:** Probably! What’s up with Bonnie?

(Bonnie’s sprite is fully blacked out as he does the Orange Justice from *Fortnite*)

**Bonnie:** …Don’t attack me, scrubs. I'm dancin' here.

**Dimentio:** Eh, fair enough. So who are you, anyhow?

**Bonnie:** Bonnie Glade, the daughter of the man who made this restaurant. Is he inside? There’s someone in here besides you three.

**Sharoff:** Two of our friends, and someone who’s using it as a campground.

**Bonnie:** I see. He has a bit of an odd aura to him, doesn’t seem very nice… does he plan on leaving soon?

**Dimentio:** …In a figurative sense.

**Bazz:** So you’re the kid of the guy who made this place?

(The group refrains from attacking, Bonnie’s words flashing on screen)

**Bonnie:** Correct… though he hasn’t been here in years. Me and him had a… complication, and now I’m stuck in here. B-But he’s a good man! Just… misguided. Hurt.

**Sharoff:** I see… Are you like a ghost, then?

**Bonnie:** In a sense, yes. This building is haunted with a plague, misfortune after misfortune - the connections to Freddy’s, the animatronics going haywire - not to mention the purple guy chained up in the security office.

**Dimentio:** Wh- ...The fuck?

**Bonnie:** Don’t ask… please, don’t ask.

(Dimentio was confused as fuck)

**Sharoff:** In any case… there’s gotta be something we can do, right? Just to help put an end to this madness…

**Bonnie:** Especially so, considering the second presence in this building… do you remember Fazbear’s Fright? Have you at least heard of it?

**Dimentio:** Wait, the place that got burned to a crisp- …Oh, HELL yeah!

**Sharoff:** Wait… you want us to burn the place down? What about you, the robots?

**Bonnie:** To get rid of the pizzeria’s sins? It’s worth it. Besides… I could use the rest after all these years…

**Bazz:** …We won’t let you down. Besides, if we can't, the other presence will do it for us.

**Bonnie:** I'm counting on it. Goodbye, friends.

(The three of them wave goodbye, leaving the arcade. They come across Void and Quote, standing over Stone’s publicly-executed corpse. Quote quickly shoves their rifle into Void’s hands)

**Quote:** He did it.

**Void:** The hell!?

**Sharoff:** Listen, we came across… some weird game, and I think we know how to put an end to this, all of this…

**Void:** Same here!

**Sharoff & Void:** Listen, we need to burn this place down!

**Dimentio:** I knew he was gonna say that with her.

**Bazz:** Hmph. (jealous.mp4)

**5AM**

(Sharoff, Bazz, and Dimentio are pouring gas in every other room. Quote rushes back in from inside, handing Void a case of ammo)

**Quote:** Napalm grenades should fit your launcher… now how we doing?

**Void:** Good, just gassin’ the place up!

**Dimentio:** Just about every part of this place is ready to get Notre Dame’d!

**Quote:** Alright… When I give the signal, let’s-

**T.K.:** What the hell are you guys doing!?

**Void:** A little something like this!

(He fires a grenade into one of the rooms, causing a massive explosion, followed by a fire breaking out. Bits of debris land on puddles of gas, and in no time at all, the entire building is sweeped with a massive fire…)

**T.K.:** Shit, shit-! WHY!? Why is this… You aren’t leaving, NONE OF YOU-!

(Theft King lunges towards them, but they easily get out of the way. A brief fight breaks out, claws being swung, bullets being fired. Sharoff lands a solid hit on him, causing him to fall over…)

**Sharoff:** Gotcha!

**Quote:** Quick, hurry!

(Void swiftly grabs onto him, chucking him into the kitchen. He slams into Popgoes’ remains, before slamming the door shut. The last they hear are terrified screams, robotic noises, and something coming down from the ceiling, silencing them both…)

**Void:** So… how’s that for burning for eternity?

**Bazz:** Come on, guys, we’ve gotta go!

**Void:** Oh yeah- run, run!

(The group swiftly rushes out of the front door, as the fire rages on, swallowing every part of the building in a bright orange…)

**6AM**

(The group stands outside the building, watching the fire rage on…)

**Quote:** …So, like… did anyone actually see him die?

**Void:** Safe enough bet. Pretty sure he got impaled by part of the vents. Either way, Chris’s gonna pay us big time for this!

**Dimentio:** That… and the weird rabbit thing was put to rest.

**Bazz:** …What even happened here, anyhow?

**Sharoff:** No clue, but at least it’s over, right! We just need to- … wait, hold up, is that…

(A figure steps out of the burning building, reaching outside… Charred from the fire, but it’s recognizable…)

**Sharoff:** Blake!?

**Quote:** H… Holy shit, Blake! You made i-

**Void:** AH-!

(Out of instinct, he fires a grenade at Blake, making a direct impact, and blowing the robotic badger into a million pieces)

**Void:** ...Told you explosions solve all your problems!

**Quote:** D-Did… Did you just-

**Void:** It was self defense, ya big sissy. What’s that look for?

**Quote:** … (They simply wander back to the van, looking down.)

**Void:** Well, I mean… at least he’s gone, right? This whole mess is finally over…

**Dimentio:** Fair point. Let’s just get home, it’s seriously late…

(The group heads back into the van. Bazz looks back to the burning building for just a moment…)

**Bazz:** …Rest well, Bonnie.

(And with that, he rejoins the others, the van driving back home)

**(The End)**

(The outro plays, only for someone to crawl out of the burning remains of the building... Theft King)

**T.K.:** ...My balls itch-

**(THE END?)**