Appendix W.1

## Date

Monday, 12/28/2020, 3:00 pm

**Length:** 2:04:57

## Title

**The Day Josh And Mary Gave Chloe Jr. A Holiday Present (And The Night Off For New Year’s Eve) And Josh Willingly Played A Classical Piece And Gave An Extended Tribute To Phil Niekro**

## Link

Facebook Videos:

* https://facebook.com/1032481550592519

## Noteworthy Details

Special Episode

**Location:** Living Room

**Secret Surprise Special Guest:** N/A

## Episode Description

* The Christmas tree is topped with the blue Red Sox baseball hat!
* [Placeholder]

## Quotes and Taglines:

* Conversation:
	+ **Josh:** Hi, everybody.
	+ **Mary:** Hi, everybody!
	+ **Josh:** Welcome to … the 7th-Inning Stretch.
	+ **Mary:** Oh yeah!
	+ **Josh:** Brought to you by … we don’t have sponsors. Still don’t have sponsors. Still working on it. One of these days, right?
	+ **Mary:** One of these days…
	+ **Josh:** One of these days we’ll be legit. No more of this DIY, independent, creative-control crap.
	+ **Mary:** Zero-dollar budget.
	+ **Josh:** Let the suits make all the decisions. It’s less work for us.
	+ **Mary:** We don’t even have suits. You don’t even have a suit.
	+ **Josh:** Obviously. I only have one shirt, apparently.
* Conversation:
	+ **Josh:** Jackie H., health-care worker extraordinaire, says ‘Did you actually roller skate?’ Yes of course I actually roller skated. That’s, like, all I did. No, that’s not true. I played baseball, I practiced piano, I roller skated. I read books. I did some other stuff, too.
	+ **Mary:** You listened to Van Halen.
	+ **Josh:** Yeah, I listened to Van Halen. Cheap Trick. Stevie Wonder. KISS. Got lost in the woods a whole bunch. That was fun.
* “Wouldn’t that be cool if we were sponsored by Wikipedia? I just thought of the perfect tagline for their sponsorship. Guys, understand what I’m about to say isn’t real. It’s fictional. So don’t take this out of context. Don’t be like, ‘Oh my God, Josh just said the show was sponsored by Wikipedia.’ No, this is a theoretical. This is a pretend thing. Imagine if it went like this (in announcer’s voice): ‘The 7th-Inning Stretch … sponsored by Wikipedia. Citation needed.’ That’s the tagline.”
* “As you know, this show normally only goes for 30 minutes. But because it’s gonna be New Year’s Eve and we’re starting an hour before the new year begins, I promise we will go for a full hour. We’ll go extra innings, which we sometimes do for special occasions — like New Year’s. Not that we’ve ever done a New Year’s show before. But if you’re looking to ring in the new year with us, then you can do that.” (announcing Appendix W.2, to take place on New Year’s Eve)
* Conversation (follow-up to announcement of New Year’s Eve episode):
	+ **Mary:** I’m excited about ending on a different day than we started. I’m excited about that silly little thing. We’re gonna start on a Thursday and we’re gonna end on a Friday.
	+ **Josh:** It’s like a two-day show. It’s like a two-year show.
	+ **Mary:** Yes!!!
	+ **Josh:** Every show feels like a two-year show, but that’s actually gonna be a two-year show.
* “Kit G. wants to hear Toccata and Fugue in D-Minor. Those of you who know me, you know that I don’t like trying to play classical music. I like classical music; I like listening to it. I don’t like trying to play it ’cause it’s hard. So I pretty much always refuse to play it.” (plays a few bars) “That’s all I know. What if I pipe organ that up? What if I give it some pipe?”
* “I enjoyed that so much I’m gonna do it again.” (on The Stylistics’ I’m Stone In Love With You)
* Conversation:
	+ **Josh:** Remember last week when RJ was watching live and he said, ‘I would love to see Josh just whisper his text messages.’ And then I did it…
	+ **Mary:** That was ridiculous.
	+ **Josh:** Well, it was ridiculous, but that didn’t stop me from deciding that it’s a new segment on the show. So welcome to…
	+ **Mary (laughing):** You didn’t even talk about about this with the producer. I leave the room for 30 seconds and suddenly there’s a whole (new) section.
	+ **Josh:** You abdicated and Chloe Jr. and I had a little convo. Confab, is that the word? This is the new segment “Josh Whispers A Text Message.” (plays fanfare) I’m gonna look on my phone, find a text message and I read it — I whisper it: “Is tomorrow still good for you? If so, where and when should I meet you? Do you want me to just come to your place?” (plays another fanfare) I like that segment.
* “They’re written down in the wrong order. I can’t do anything that’s not written down.” (on messing up the order of names for Hocus Pocus — twice)
* “I really enjoy this song when I remember how to play it. Today is not one of those days.” (on Valerie by Steve Winwood)
* “Oh God, she loves Mutual of Omaha.” (on Chloe Jr. loving all things animal-related)
* “Nobody’s obligated to watch, ever, at any time. … If you feel like being awake at that hour, love to see you; if you want to watch some other time, great; if you don’t want to watch at all, great.” (on the upcoming special late New Year’s Eve episode)

## Album of the Week

* 1) Lionel Richie – Can’t Slow Down; 2) Bob Dylan – Another Side Of Bob Dylan (actually miniature painting of album cover by Lisa Bastoni)

## Hatter or No-Hatter?

* Immediate hatter (and clean shaven)

**Previous: Appendix V.2 | Next: Appendix W.2**