"Remains of the Day"/Barkis and the Overlord's council

This is how "Remains of the Day" and Barkis and the Overlord's council goes in Twilight Sparkle Meets the Corpse Bride.

[In the Land of the Dead, Victor and the princesses wake up]

Alfred: New arrivals.

Emily: They must've fainted. Are you alright?

Twilight Sparkle: What happened?

Alfred: By Jove, man. Looks like we've got ourselves breathers.

Mrs. Plum: Do any of them have dead brothers?

Skeleton Boy: They're still soft.

[Victor and the princesses get back up]

General Bonesapart: A toast, then! [drinks a pint]

[A skeleton pirate gets the pint and drinks it]

General Bonesapart: To the newlyweds and our special guests!

Victor Van Dort: Newlyweds?

Princess Luna: Special guests?

Emily: In the woods, Victor said his vows so perfectly. [shows them the ring on her skeletal finger]

Princess Cadance: He did?

Victor Van Dort: I did. [bangs his head] Wake up, wake up, wake up!

Princess Celestia: [sees a head waiter named Paul] Uh, girls, we've got company.

Paul: Bonjour! Coming through, coming through. My name is Paul, I am the head waiter. I will be creating your wedding feast.

[A maggot pops out of Emily's eye]

Maggot: Wedding feast. I'm salivated.

Twilight Sparkle: [gasps] Ew!

[Emily slaps her eye closed]

Emily: Maggots. [giggles]

[Cadance is disgusted as she bumps into a zombie and some skeletons]

Princess Cadance: [powers up her horn] I want some questions, now!

General Bonesapart: Answers. I think you mean answers.

Princess Cadance: Thank you, yes, answers. [to Emily] I need answers. What's going on here? Where are we? Who are you?

Emily: Well, that's kind of a long story.

Bonejangles: What a story it is.

[They see Bonejangles]

Bonejangles: A tragic tale of romance, passion, and murder most foul!

General Bonesapart: This is gonna be good.

Bonejangles: Hit it, boys.

[The light turns green as Bonejangles bonks skeleton dancers' skulls as another skeleton plays a piano]

**Bonejangles:**

Hey! Give me a listen you corpses of cheer

At least those of you who still got an ear

I'll tell you a story that'll make a skeleton cry

Of our own jubiliciously lovely Corpse Bride

**Chorus:**

Die, die, we all pass away

But don't wear a frown cause it's really okay

You might try and hide

And you might try and pray

But we all end up the remains of the day

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah

**Bonejangles:**

Well, our girl was a beauty known for miles around

Til a mysterious horned stranger came into town

He was plenty good-looking, but down on his cash

And our poor little baby she fell hard and fast

When her daddy said no, she just couldn't cope

So our lovers came up with a plan to elope

**Chorus:**

Die, die, we all pass away

But don't wear a frown cause it's really okay

You might try and hide

And you might try and pray

But we all end up the remains of the day

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah

**Bonejangles:**

Oh, that's right

Okay, oh yeah

Come on, boys, pick it up

Yeah, like it

Okay, Chancy, take it

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (Yo!)

Oh, that's nice

Yeah!

So they conjured up a plan to meet late at night

They told not a soul, kept the whole thing tight

Now her mother's wedding dress fit like a glove

You don't need much when you're really in love

Except for a few things, or so I'm​ told

Like the family jewels and a satchel of gold

Then next to the graveyard by the old oak tree

On a dark foggy night at a quarter to three

She was ready to go, but where was he?

**Crowd:**

And then?

**Bonejangles:**

She waited

**Crowd:**

And then?

**Bonejangles:**

There in the shadows, was it her man?

**Crowd:**

And then?

**Bonejangles:**

Her little heart beat so loud

**Crowd:**

And then?

**Bonejangles:**

And then, baby, everything went black

Now when she opened her eyes she was dead as dust

Her jewels were missing and her heart was bust

So she made a vow lying under that tree

That she'd wait for her true love to come set her free

Always waiting for someone to ask for her hand

When out of the blue comes this groovy young man

Who vows forever to be by her side (Oh yeah, oh yeah)

And that's the story of our own Corpse Bride (Oh yeah, oh yeah)

**Chorus:**

Die, die, we all pass away

But don't wear a frown cause it's really okay

You might try and hide

And you might try and pray

But we all end up the remains of the day

**Bonejangles:**

Do-bop

E-do-bop

E-didly-bob-e-do-bop

Yeah

[Back at the Land of the Living, we see the Overlord and his council]

Kalmaar: We need a way to get power over our enemies.

Mister F: I agree, but what?

[They hear a knock on their door]

The Overlord: Enter.

[Barkis arrives]

The Overlord: Ah, Lord Barkis. I trust the quarters my second-in-command made you is to your liking.

Barkis Bittern: Thank you, you are a most gracious host. Which is why it pleases me to be the bearer of some good news. [snaps his finger as the town crier arrives] Would you care to repeat tonight's headline for us?

Town crier: Hear ye, hear ye! Victor Van Dort, Princesses Celestia, Luna, Cadance and Twilight Sparkle seen this night on the bridge in the arms of a mystery woman! The dark-haired temptress, Master Van Dort and the alicorn princesses slipped away into the night! And now, the weather. Scattered showers--

Barkis Bittern: Enough! That will be all.

[The town crier leaves]

Ice Emperor: Mystery woman?

Vangelis: I was unaware this boy even knew any women.

Barkis Bittern: Or so you thought. Do call for me if you need my assistance in any way. [closes the door]

Pythor: This must be another one of the ponies' tricks. What should we do?

Mammatus: Fetch my scepter!

Aspheera: Come, Unagami and Mechanic. We're going on a hunt.

Harumi: Fellas, the town crier just had a slow news these days. You know how it is. You just need something to cry about.

Unagami: Regardless, we are one group of enemies short for the war tomorrow. [to the Mechanic] Not to mention the financial implications.

Crystal King: A most scandalous embarrassment for us all.

The Mechanic: The way I see it, fellas, we need a foolproof plan to lure out our enemies.

Kalmaar: Oh, is that what you think, roboarm?

The Mechanic: Yes, Your Highness. Now then, I just need to generate a rescue portal that allows passage from that mystery woman's dimension back to this world. However, I need until dawn.

The Overlord: Very well. Until dawn.