Colossus of Rhodes

The Acolytes in Sexy Tights make it out of the Nessian Woods and enter the badlands where they meet the minotaurs and face off against the missing colossus from Akros.

## Major Plot Points

* The Acolytes in Sexy Tights made it out of the Nessian Woods and entered the badlands, home to Theros' minotaurs.
* Muchomucho M Amor gave everyone a tarot card reading their first night in the badlands. He drew The Tower when divining their collective future. This prophesied upheaval, massive change, and revelation.
* After they fell asleep, Emma Diamondfrost, the Silver Queen of the Spellfire Club, visited the party in a shared dream. She taunted them and offered them ranking membership in the Spellfire Club, but they rudely declined her olive branch.
* Aligning with Muchomucho's prophecies, the party arrived at a cliff. Instead of risking their lives on a rickety bridge, they risked their lives using magical gliders built by SBG3. Holy Lady Labya made it across first. She sang her success on the other side but caused a mudslide with her powerful voice. The others were forced to jump and hope the best with their gliders. Rory Sharptooth caught Barbara Duke after she had trouble gliding. The tiefling bard then caught SBG3. Juxxtina fell 30 feet to a lower edge. Muchomucho's crows helped her fly up but brought her to the wrong side because she was rude to them. Her second attempt to glide was much more successful.
* The group found a minotaur military camp. Screams could be heard coming from the site. Dikarus Bottombane and Muchomucho snuck in. They found a medical tent where Gore Geous was tending to severely injured soldiers. Warlord Chiron was shouting about their loss to a "robot."
* Aryan Grande played intro music for Rory while the rest of the party cheered for him. He challenged Minnie Bloodyhorn, the best fighter in the camp, to a wrestling match. If he won, she would bring them to meet their leader. If she won, they'd help her kill Chiron and take the throne. Minnie bested Rory in their first match and then caught SBG3 trying to magically empower him. Minnie claimed victory by technicality.
* After learning her unit was attacked by a robot they believed was sent by Theros, the party convinced her that they should stop the construct first. Rory said defeating it would boost her reputation before she took the throne.
* The party followed the massive footprints that led to the Colossus of Akros. The giant statue that once guarded the city was now a living warrior. SBG3 noticed it had his reanimator stone embedded in its head. Dikarus shot an arrow at the colossus but his arrow couldn't pierce its stone skin. SBG3 cast shatter, wounding the construct. Muchomucho hurled a firebolt at it. Rory slashed it with his halberd. Aryan used her Mantle of Majesty to take control of the colossus, freezing it in its place. Labya cast Guiding Bolt and shot the reanimator off of the colossus' head.
* The party noticed a humanoid creature in one of its eyes. The eyeball shot out of the colossus and tried to fly away. Clows Kufas cast enlarge on the escape pod, which made it too big to fly and sent it crashing down.
* Celeste Rhodes crawled out of the eye. She and SBG3 got into a heated argument and she revealed his reanimator worked and she had to build a control panel to take over the colossus' consciousness because it wouldn't do as the Spellfire Club commanded. Rory dismembered Celeste and SBG3 used the scrap from her escape pod to turn her into a round machine he could control.
* The Acolytes returned to the minotaur camp and visited Gore Geous' tent. She agreed that Minnie had management potential and confirmed Warlord Chiron believed it was his destiny to rule over the entire Therosian peninsula. She said he was sleeping in his tent and now was the time to strike for their coup to work.
* Each party member added some dangerous flair to the Celeste orb. SBG3 made her roll into the warlord's tent where she bounced on him to stab him repeatedly, slapped him with a white gloved hand that was decked out in poisoned nails and was bardically inspired, shoved a cyanide pill into his mouth, spread poisonous Karen seeds, charmed him with mistletoe, and got him really high on genie smoke.
* The Celeste Orb returned with Celeste now a zombie. She suffered mortal wounds during the attack but the reanimator Sprocket shoved in her mouth kept her "alive."
* SBG3 asked her how she liked being forced to do something against her will and then removed the reanimator, finally letting her die.
* With Warlord Chiron dead, Minnie declared herself the new Warlord and her first act was to commit to fighting the undead alongside the army of the living.