Crossover Towers a SpongeBob Parody

***Another fanfiction with crossover characters based on Krusty Towers.***

*[The two teen fashionistas the ditzy Leni Loud and the white human Rarity are walking down the road towards the Crossover Restaurant.]*

**Leni Loud:** So, I was all ready to drain the fries, but I cooked the fries slightly too long! So...

**EG Rarity:** *[sees something offscreen]* Leni?

**Leni Loud:** So, here's where the bizarre twist comes in.

**EG Rarity:** Leni?

**Leni Loud:** They weren't overcooked at all!

**EG Rarity:** Leni, look! *[she points and Leni turns around where we are shown a tall building]*

**Leni Loud:** Wow, what happened to the Crossover Restaurant?

**SwaySway:** Good morning! The Crossover Towers is now open for business!

**Leni Loud:** Why did you build a hotel, SwaySway?

**SwaySway:** I'm glad you asked, Leni. Remember when I went to that fast food convention and stayed in that fancy hotel? I had a beautiful room. The employees were so friendly. They catered to me every whim, no matter how demeaning it was. Because they lived by a code. And that code was engraved in fine gold above the grand fireplace: "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request." Everything was perfect... until I got the bill! They charged me for everything; $25 for a hamburger! *[takes out a whole burger from inside his body]* If they can charge that much for a lousy burger, imagine how much I could charge for a lousy Hamlogna Sandwich! And thus, the Crossover Towers was born.

**EG Rarity:** Why would anyone stay in a hotel in Toon City? It's in the middle of scenic nowhere! There's nothing to do but get stung by a bee. *[a random bee stings her on the head, forming a bump]* OW, See?!

**Leni Loud:** *[pushes the bump in and it goes to the other side of EG Rarity's head]* Ooh!

**SwaySway:** Come inside. *[now inside Crossover Towers]* Isn't it beautiful?

**EG Rarity:** Where are all the new hotel employees? *[SwaySway throws uniforms onto EG Rarity & Leni Loud. Knuckles the Echidna enters]*

**SwaySway:** My first hotel guest! Watch me reel him in. *[walks behind desk]* Welcome to the Crossover Towers, where our motto is "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request."

**Knuckles:** Oh, that's great. I'd like a double hamlogna sandwich with no onions and extra pickles.

**SwaySway:** If you want a hamlogna sandwich, you'll have to rent a room and order room service.

**Knuckles:** *[looks at watch]* Ooh, I've only got an hour for lunch. *[sighs and leaves]*

**EG Rarity:** Boy, you reeled that one in like a pro.

**SwaySway:** Okay, Miss Rarity, *you* are charge the front desk.

**Ed from Ed, Edd n Eddy:** I'd like a barbacue beacon burger, please.

**EG Rarity:** This is a hotel now. If you want your order, you'll have to get a room and order room service.

**Ed:** Okay, one barbacue beacon burger and one room with cheese. Oh, and can I get cheese on the sandwich too?

**EG Rarity:** Ed, you only live 400 yards away. Why do you want to check into a hotel?

**Ed:** Sometimes I just need to get away from it all. *[rings bell]* Wow, this hotel has everything!

**EG Rarity:** *[takes bell]* Gimme that! Now sign the register.

**Ed:** I didn't know there would be a test. I didn't study! *[cries]*

**EG Rarity:** Ed, all you have to do is write your name.

**Ed:** Oh, okay. *[takes pen]* Do you mind?! *[EG Rarity turns around so Ed starts writing. EG Rarity peeks]* Don't look! *[EG Rarity turns around]* Done! *[Ed has drawn a giant monster doodle of himself fighting three attack planes.]*

**EG Rarity:** Close enough. Here's your room key. *[she gives him the keys]*

**Ed:** I'll need some help with my bags.

**EG Rarity:** How can you have bags?! You just found out this is a hotel!

**Ed:** This is a hotel?

**EG Rarity:** *[groans]* Leni!

**Leni Loud:** Yes, Rare?

**EG Rarity:** Take Ed and his bags to his room.

**Ed:** What about my BBQ beacon burger?

**SwaySway:** Rarity, *you* can take Ed's bags up to his room. Leni, you go his meal.

**Leni Loud:** Yes sir! *[she exits]*

**EG Rarity:** Oh, SwaySway!

**SwaySway:** What's the matter? Miss Rarity Afraid of a little manual labor? *[mocking EG Rarity]* I'm Rarity and I have to work for a living. Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo.

**EG Rarity:** *[sighs]* Alright I do. Let's go, Ed. *[grabs Ed's bags and is heavy and has struggle with Ed's bags as she is walking up to the elevator]*

**SwaySway:** *[comes out of the elevator]* This elevator is for guests only. *[points to another elevator]* Take the employee elevator. *[EG Rarity walks to the other elevator for employees, which it turns out to be stairs. She grumbles because of this. EG Rarity walks up stairs as Ed gets off the guest elevator]*

**EG Rarity:** What's in these bags, rocks? *[bag opens, spilling out rocks]* Hey, these *are* rocks! Why is your suitcase full of rocks?!

**Ed:** I don't tell you how to live *your* life!

**EG Rarity:** Well, here's your room.

**Ed:** Wow.

**EG Rarity:** Enjoy your stay.

**Ed:** Rarity, wait! *[takes out a rock from his pocket and gives it to her as a tip]* Keep up the good work and there'll be more where that came from.

*[EG Rarity is attemping to throw the rock that Ed gave to him as a tip until Leni comes in with Ed's order]*

**Leni Loud:** Your BBQ beacon burger, Ed. Hey, Rare. Cool rock.

**Ed:** Hold on a second, Leni. *[hands Leni a dollar, EG Rarity makes a surprise face,]*

**EG: Rarity:** What?! *[scowls]*

**Ed:** Here you are, my good girl.

**Leni Loud:** Why, thank you, Ed!

**Ed:** There's plenty more where that came from, my good friend *[EG rarity looks at her rock. becomes frustrated and growls]* Uh Rarity?

**EG: Rarity:** What now?!

**Ed:** I don't like crusts on my burger!

**EG: Rarity:** It's a bun they have all crust! How am I suppose to cut the crust off a burger?

**Ed:** Peel it.

**EG Rarity:** *[peels the skin off the sandwich angrily]* Happy?

**Ed:** Yay! *[eats his meal]*

**Leni Loud:** Room service! Here's the fifty BBQ beacon burgers you ordered.

**Ed:** Could you do one more thing for me?

**EG Rarity:** Why don't you ask Leni?

**Ed:** Good idea, Rarity!

**Leni Loud**: How may I serve you, sir?

**Ed:** I need you to eat these BBQ beacon burgers with me.

**Leni Loud:** Oh, yes, sir! *[both of them eat a bunch of BBQ beacon burgers. EG Rarity looks more irritated as she heads down the employee elevator, SwaySway is on the phone]*

**SwaySway:** Hold on. Rarity! Ed needs your help.

**EG Rarity:** What?! Why didn't he ask me before I walked all the way downstairs?

**SwaySway:** He said he didn't want to bother you, but he got over it!

*[At the bathroom, EG Rarity is unclogging the toilet when she unclogs Leni Loud]*

**Ed:** Hooray!

**Leni Loud:** Thanks, Rare! *[EG Rarity puts her back in the toilet of clogging again. Ed flushes again]*

**EG Rarity:** SwaySway, I need to talk with you. this is ridiculous! Ed's being completely unreasonable!

**SwaySway:** He can be as unreasonable as he wants! *[he points to the plaque]* Read the plaque, Miss Rarity, the plaque!

**EG Rarity:** But SwaySway...

**SwaySway:** Deny no guests! *[phone rings]* Why, hello, Ed. You need Rarity to come up right away? She'll be right there.

**EG Rarity:** Why me! *[Scene transits to bubbles floating from a bathtub]* A bubble bath?! Why would I give you a bubble bath?!

**Ed:** Well, because SwaySway said you would! Well, be sure to make my back extra shiny clean.

*[EG Rarity's left eye twitches, she clenches her fists, grinds her teeth, her face steams in anger and screams loudly]*

**EG Rarity:** ***AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***

**EG Rarity:** Oh that's it!! I'm not gonna take more requests! I've had enough! *[storms out]*

**Ed:** Rarity, wait! The toilet's backed up again!

*[EG Rarity comes out of the guest elevator]*

**SwaySway:** Hey! Hey, you can't take that elevator! You're an employee!

**EG Rarity:** Not anymore! *[walks off looking really pissed]*

**SwaySway:** Hey, where are you going?

**EG Rarity:** I quit SwaySway! *[she throws the hotel uniform at his face]*

**SwaySway:** Quit? but why?

**EG Rarity:** *[in her regular outfit]* I can't take this anymore! Ed is driving me mad and I will not be more treated as a slave so goodbye! *[she walks out and reenters with Hawaiian-styled clothes. She rings the bell]*

**SwaySway:** Welcome to the Crossover Towers... Rarity?!

**EG Rarity:** One room, please. On the top floor.

**SwaySway:** What do you think you're doing?

**EG Rarity:** I need a vacation. I'm overworked. And what better place to relax than the Crossover Towers? Where we shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request. *[SwaySway is fuming]*

**SwaySway:** I don't have to rent you a room!

**EG Rarity:** I've got cash. *[hands him cash]*

**SwaySway:** *[Takes the cash and gives her the keys]* Oh... here's your room key.

**EG Rarity:** Leni, would you carry my things to my room?

**Leni Loud:** Yes, guest miss. *[takes her bags, her legs turns into rockets and blasts off through the ceiling]*

**EG Rarity:** *[talking to SwaySway]* And you can carry me to my room.

**SwaySway:** And why in tarnation would I do that? You got two legs that aren't broken.

**EG Rarity:** The plaque. *[plaque is shown. SwaySway is wearing the hotel uniform and has just finished carrying EG Rarity from the employee elevator]* Too bad we couldn't take the elevator, but it is for guests only, and you are an employee.

**Leni Loud:** Your room, miss.

**EG Rarity:** And I'd like to order room service. I'd like a vegetarian salad sandwich with cheese, toenail clippings, and nose hair.

**SwaySway:** *[gasps in horror]* You got to be kidding me!

**EG Rarity:** And I want it here in five seconds.

**Leni Loud:** Yes, miss! *[runs off and comes back with a vegetarian sandwich in less than two seconds]* Here you are, miss.

**SwaySway:** Well, you got your stinky sandwich. Now eat it.

**EG Rarity:** Oh, *I'm* not going to eat this. You are.

**SwaySway:** What?! You're out of your mind if you think I'm going to eat that!

**Leni Loud:** Psst, *[whispering]* that's not really a sandwich with cheese, toenails, and nose hair.

**SwaySway:** *[laughs]* Now I get ya, Leni. *[still laughing]* Alright, Rarity. *[chortles. He eats the sandwich then spits it out, showing his tongue covered with toenails and nose hair. EG Rarity laughs]* Leni Loud!!

**Leni Loud:** Sorry, SwaySway. We're all out of cheese.

**Ed**: *[everything in Ed's room is covered in cheese because apparently he asked for his room to be covered with cheese earlier]* Hooray!!

**SwaySway:** *[Meanwhile, the phone rings]* What is it, Rarity?

**EG Rarity:** Send up a dozen cookies just like mom used to make.

**SwaySway:** *[at EG Rarity's room]* Here's your homemade cookies.

**EG Rarity:** *[tries one and spits it out]* These don't taste anything like my mom used to make!

**SwaySway:** Well, how *did* your mom make 'em?

**EG Rarity:** How should I know?! ask My mom! *[slams the door]*

**EG version of Rarity's Mother:** *[doorbell rings]* Hello? *[SwaySway and Leni Loud are in ski masks, Rarity's mother gasps in shock]*

**SwaySway:** *[trying to get a big sack in the trunk, but the door won't close]* Leni! *[Leni Loud hits the sack with a shovel, but the trunk still won't close]*

**Leni Loud:** No good, SwaySway.

**EG version of Rarity's Mother:** Allow me, guys. *[closes the trunk door]*

**SwaySway:** Great! Now that me laundry's in the trunk...

**Leni Loud:** There's room for you to sit up front!

**EG version of Rarity's Mother:** Let's go bake some cookies, guys!

**SwaySway and Leni Loud:** Hooray!

**SwaySway:** *[in EG Rarity's room where She is sampling the cookies]* Well?

**EG Rarity:** I'm impressed! These *are* just like my mom used to make. I just wish my mom was a better cook.

**SwaySway:** So you're all taken care of?

**EG Rarity:** Hm, just one teensy tiny problem. This room is hideous. Redesign it. Starswirl the Bearded be nice.

**SwaySway:** What?!

**EG Rarity:** "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request."

**SwaySway:** GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

*[SwaySway and Leni Loud change the room to a blue theme of Starswirl the bearded, a modern theme, a country theme, a torture theme, and then back to the original]* Perfect!

**SwaySway:** This room is exactly the same as when we started!

**EG Rarity:** Nothing like getting back to the basics.

**SwaySway:** Let's get out of here, Leni!

**EG Rarity:** Oh, before you leave, I want to go swimming.

**SwaySway:** The pool's out back.

**EG Rarity:** Ha ha, are you crazy?! I'm not going outside to swim! *[big swimming pool is now inside the room]* Come on in, the water's fine! *[Leni Loud jumps in]*

**SwaySway:** Anything else stupid and unreasonable that you want?

**EG Rarity:** Nope, that's it.

**SwaySway:** You don't need me to chew your food for ya? Or make you a back scratcher out of me own spine? Or maybe extinguish the sun so the light don't get in your eyes?!

**EG Rarity:** No, I'm good.

**Leni Loud:** Me, too.

**Ed:** Wow, an indoor pool? Well, this place *is* fancy. *[gets on diving board]* Cannonball! *[jumps in, but the pool collapses the hotel back into the Crossover Restaurant]*

**SwaySway:** *[at hospital with the gang]* Oh, that hotel was a bad idea from the start.

**Ed:** That was a hotel?

**Nurse Redheart:** Your bill, sir.

**SwaySway:** $15,000?! *[he then acts as if he is having a heart attack]*

**EG Rarity:** You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?

**SwaySway:** Not at these prices! Forget hotels. This hospital rack is where the money is!

**Ed:** This is a hospital?

**SwaySway:** Pack your bags, guys! You're going to medical school!

**Leni Loud & Ed:** Hooray!

**EG Rarity:** *[plaintively]* Oh, boy.

***THE END***