Joseph's Bizarre Adventure 2: All the Time in the World

**Prelude**

*An old man looks over the grey cloudy landscape and slowly reverts his gaze back to his two grandchildren in front of him. "Let me tell you a tale children, Here is the story of how Joseph Malo saved the entire world." The children looked at each other confused. "Who?"*

**A 3 Night Stand**

*Joseph Malo awoke from his nightmare. He had the dream about his mother being eaten by a bridge troll again. It was always that one.*

*"Bad Dream?" said Yellow Blue Man sleepily*

*Joseph Malo grunted and rolled over; he was not in the mood for this. He had been eaten up by guilt for the last few years and for once in his life he had a chance to change it all. Of course, it had to be Yellow Blue man who knew how to obtain the artifact needed for such a feat, Joseph Malo had just finished his 3-day bender with the entirety of Resdayn high society. He had seen and done everything there was to see and do, but now it was all over.*

*"Ok Vivec, where is it?" said Joseph.*

*"I told Ned last night while I was drunk of Sujama, He knows" replied the multicoloured deity.*

**The Helmet**

*Joseph Malo kicked in Ned's apartment door and lazily threw a ball of wind at him. Ned Kelly jumped up and threw a beer bottle in response. The once great bushranger had been reduced to a Big Lebowski copycat. Joseph staired at Ned and the bushranger nodded his head.*

*Suddenly the two found themselves in the middle of the Australian Outback. Lifeless trees scattered the desolate landscape in every direction and on the ground stood a single item. The Infamous helmet of Ned Kelly. The Bushranger picked it up and turned it upside down. With a single flick of his fingers Joseph Malo went flying into the hidden portal within the armour. Ned followed right after.*

*The two found themselves looking into an endless space full of floating rocks and extradimensional entities. Crystals of all shapes and colours stuck out of the rocks like knives and strange alien creature jumped from pools of super conducted liquid carbon. They had reached the Border world. They had reached Xen. Ned got Joseph's attention and he started going over the rules of Xen. Since they were outside the Universe, in a realm between realms they could not rely on their regular senses to get around. In the Omniverses, smell was key. Apparently since they were looking for an artifact that could manipulate time, they had to sniff out what they thought time smelt like. To Joseph Malo time smelt like dust and old people. To Ned Kelly Time smelt like the cranial gland of a Vertigo stalk. It is unknown what a Vertigo Stalk even is. After hours of sniffing, they found it, a portal leading them to their desired destination. They both jumped in.*

**Upper, Downer, Active, Passive**

*They awoke on a rocky pathway, surrounded by abandoned houses and temples. Giant statues of dead gods looked down on the two dimensional trespassers. They got up and stuck their noses up in the air. The smell of dust and Vertigo Stalk cranial glands was stronger in the north so that’s where they started walking. They were surrounded by a thick green haze that made near objects look far and far objects look near. They continued up a decorated pathway until they reached a wooden bridge above a violent rapid. Joseph was not completely sure that the river was filled with water, whatever it was filled with was far too hazy for water.*

*Out of the haze came a floating statue. its head was full of a thousand stone eyeballs. They all turned to look at Joseph Malo. Kelly was confused yet relived that he was not the target of this creature. Within a split-second Malo's head was filled with visions of his loved ones and friends in strange metaphorical situations which were both completely fake and real at the same time. he saw his undead Wife Katyusha being watched by a dark wolf from the shadows. he did not know what it meant.*

*"**You Are Worthy**,” said the statue.*

**All The Time In The World**

*Joseph Malo awoke yet again, this time he was on a raft that had been washed up on a volcanic beach. Kelly was nowhere to be seen. Malo recognised this place instantly, this island was his greatest shame. This was New Zealand's North Island.*

*Malo could feel something around his neck. He looked down and saw his own face. A metallic and locket in the shape of his own head, and inside it was the item of his own redemption.*

***The Time Stone***

*He Had it. He could finally be redeemed. He wasted no time; he flew into the air and clutched the stone in his fist. Although he had no idea how to work the stone's magic, it followed his every command. A giant green bubble extended around the entire island and engulfed it. Joseph Slowly turned his hand and watched as the island changed before his eyes. He watched as the volcano eruption that killed millions shrunk back into the mountain that was obliterated by the blast. He watched as the trees and grass and plants replaced the black ash and soot that once blanketed the entire island. He watched as life returned. He watched his own redemption. He took a moment to take it all in, but instead of a peaceful quite he was met with the sounds of artillery. The Pants War was back. Realising what this meant he quicky turned back time even more until any signs of war had vanished.*

***Finally, there was peace.***

**Double The Fun**

*Joseph realised that there was still one more thing that he could do to make up for his past mistakes. He flew for hours towards his old home. Towards the first island of the Resurrection Republic. The island was now largely abandoned due to The Exchange, nobody would go missing if he turned back time. So that is exactly what he did. Malo lifted his hand into the sky once again and reverted the entire island back 15 years. When he opened his eyes, he saw his old nation in it's prime. The Capital building was pristine, the people were happy and more importantly alive. Everything was as it should be. or was it? Joseph felt a disturbance in space time rapidly approaching him.*

*He looked behind him and saw... himself. Not in any kind of metaphorical sense, there was another, younger version of himself. The two staired at each other before the older one spoke.*

***"Oh boy do I have a lot to tell you"***