Patrick Gill

**Patrick Gill** apparently works at Polygon.com. This is unsure. He is a 'Senior Video Producer' whatever that means.

He has (again apparently) produced multiple things for the company including "Please retweet" and "How to get good at video games"

## Early life

At the first few moments of his life pat was busy being born and missed a very important call loosing millions of dollars on the stock market.

Pat Gill went to the university of Maine

He moved a lot as a child, notably living in Texas

He also lived in Bangor, Maine for a long time.

## Personality

The state of his ass is subjective.

Patrick is strong, and ***he loves to fuck.***

He has broad, banana bearing shoulders.

He's got some supposedly new shoes.

He has shot a cactus with a gun and regrets it because it was a crime.

Sonic the Hedgehog is running from Patrick specifically.

If Ben Schwartz had Sonic's powers, he would gaslight Patrick.

Patrick Gill seems to be good at working with chaotic energy. He works very closely with the 'safety fan & bureaucratic wunderkind, please address him as such' (Brian David Gilbert) going as far as participating in the Pokemon Dream Ballet.

Patrick Gill was a host of the show "Gill and Gilbert", and allegedly cannot remember to set his alarm.

~~Owner of the Parm~~. Owned by the Parm and All around cool guy.

Has a lovely cat named Charles who sometimes keeps the stream company while Patrick is otherwise engaged.

Slightly allergic to latex, kiwi, and berries (the latex makes his skin tingly and the berries make his mouth tingly).

As seen in one Overboard episode, Patrick Gill not only knows the German city of Wiesbaden but also knows how to pronounce it properly. Scary. Rumors say he may have been an army guy there. Or it's about his family or childhood. Or he's just into Hessia way too much.

Patrick Gill seems to enjoy putting himself into harm's way. Meaning he is willing to sacrifice his well being for that good good content. (as seen in Gill and Gilbert)

Patrick Gill also refuses to let BDG forget his theater kid past. He also is able to procure photos of said past from Brian's mother and needs to release them to the internet.

Patrick Gill was also present during the legendary banana vore, also known as Cronch. The raw chaotic energy he is exposed to every day would be enough to kill him if it weren't for the catalyst of such energy housed within him.

Patrick Gill once put a plastic bag of mutilated, dead frogs in a dumpster behind his school gym. He still has nightmares about it to this day.

Recently learned that Keanu Reeves has ***very*** strong hands.

Note: His own chaotic energy may be enough to rival that of those around him, meaning that osmosis doesn't occur or something,

**NOTE: Pat has completed a legendary banana cronch. This wounded everyone within the room, including and especially those viewing the footage of this event without taking proper safety precautions.\***

\*Pat should be classified as a criminal for consuming a banana that way, but unfortunately his status as a ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ prevents any entity from doing so.

I just googled 'Pat Polygon' and this monstrosity came up... I'm concerned, honestly. A little bit in awe.

I just wanted to know why his dialect is so odd. Who did this.

Note: osmosis does not occur as Patrick's water particles did not move through a partially permeable membrane to his coworkers. There is occasional diffusion of chaos between polygon dot com members, but no osmosis is occuring.

Note Response: Is chaos a polar solvent?

## Origins

In the Monster Factory episode Arby's True Nemesis is Revealed, Pat revealed that he is from the state of Maine, where professional wrestler Seamus once saw his ass in a gym sauna.

## Quotes

"My ass is going into third gear" -Let's Play HEAT: PEDAL TO THE METAL! | Overboard, Episode 41

## Piss Constable: Miami

THIS IS A SEGMENT CALLED:

chicken parm

Piss Constable: Miami

> "*Man, seems like this sailor's... f-fresh outta luck."*
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> "'Ello, 'ello, 'ello."
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> *"Ugh, the newbie's back on the case again-"*
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> "Listen, I don't- I don't- look at me in the fucking eye. I don't appreciate your fucking tone. I've been working these streets since you were shitting in diapers."
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> *"I'm- I'm the Captain. I am the Captain."*
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> "Oh, excuse me- oh, excuse me, the uniforms are different over here-"
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> *"Yeah, no, I wear the- this is the Captain's, like, f-floral shirt."*
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> "Yeah."
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> *"You don't get a floral shirt until you become the Captain."*
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> "It's- well, I- I- I have to apologize, because I am the Piss Constable."
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> *"How hot are you, dude? You're wearing like a fucking black suit, and one of those bobby hats."*
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> "Well, to tell you the truth, the suit is to hide the piss."
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> *"Haha, ok, ok, you're a joker. I used to make piss jokes when I started."*
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> "Well, I- I- I- I intend to continue to. I-I'm young and I'm idealistic. I'm only 80 years old, and I'll be making piss jokes f-for the whole program, 'cause that's what it's about. It's- It's called 'Piss Constable', and it's on the television right now. This is- this is- Hi. I'm Patrick Gill. I play Piss Constable on the BBC original program, 'Piss Constable'."
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> *"Who are you talking to?! We're at a murder scene! Who are you speaking to?! Excuse me- who put this guy on the team?! Who- he keeps coming up to me, and talking about being the Piss Constable. I'm fairly certain he's from Talladega, and he speaks with a terrible Cockney accent. Can someone explain to me, who put him in our precinct?!"*
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SEGMENT COMPLETE

## Confessions of love

Since **Patrick Gill** is such a handsome and hot person with a "*Subjective ass*" a multitude of people have confessed their love to this individual who "*Loves to fuck*"

> "*I have a crush on pat*" - a fandom user 2020
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> "*Pat is in fact a verry handsome man & I also have a crush on him.*" - a fandom user 2021
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> "*I would like to add that I also have a crush on that guy*" - a fandom user 2022
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> "*dont have a crush just wnated to say hi patrick*" - a fandom user 2022
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> "*I also have a crush on him but like... in a ''no homo'' way*” - a fandom user 2022
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