Boat Oars

**The Boat Oars** are characters and musical guests in *Puppet History*. They are puppets created and portrayed by Shane Madej. They debut in the season two episode "The World's Greatest/Rudest Samurai" and reappear in "The Story of St. Nicholas."

In their first appearance, they sing about being separated because the the oar's husband was carved into a sword. The other oar sings about how they can't be together because they are a sword now. While the other oar longs for the days when they were together, they also sing about their old memories. The song is sung in a duet. At the end of the song, they kiss, and start aggressively making-out. They lower under the stage and The Professor hints that they were both having sex below the stage saying, "Oh boy, they're really going for it" and "Holy moly!"

## Songs

*(Note: Since the song is sung in a duet, here are some things to help you sing along to the lyrics:*

* Normal text *means the normal Oar is singing.*
* ***Bold text** means the Sword Oar is singing.*
* *If there's a plus sign (+) in between **bold** **text** and* normal text *that means both of the Oars are singing in unison.*
* *A vertical line symbol "|" in between a lyric means that the other Oar starts to sing once that exact lyric is sung after that | symbol.*

*Example: If a lyric such as, "We're meant to be, |oar + **Or, are we?"** Is sung, that means the Sword Oar sings right at the moment the normal Oar says the word, "Oar." If there isn't a | symbol and only a plus + symbol, that means they sing at the same time.)*

### "Gore On The Shore" ("The World's Greatest/Rudest Samurai")

We were in love once

Oar, weren't we?

Dipped into the sea

Just you and me

Wading in harmony

**We were in love once**

**Oar, weren't we?**

**But now I'm a sword, you see**

**Me and Musashi**

**Boy, we make 'em bleed**

I long for the days

Our heads dunked under waves

How we splashed and we smooched

Oh, remember?

**Well now I'm a blade**

**And the one thing I crave**

**Is to slash**

**And to swoosh**

**And dismember**

We're meant to be, | oar + **Or, are we?**

Now this samurai's + **Now this samurai's**

Cuttin' you down to size + **Cuttin' me down to size**

We must be denser than wood + **We must be denser than wood**

To not realize + **To not realize**

**We just can't be,** | **oar!** + Or can we?

It's pretty clear to me + **It's pretty clear to me**

You'd rather be weaponry + **I'd rather be weaponry**

You're spillin' gore on the shore + **I'm spillin' gore on the shore**

And i'm lost at sea. + **And you're lost at sea**

(Lost at sea, lost at sea)

### "Either Oar" ("The Story of St. Nicholas")

I used to spend my holidays alone

An anthropomorphic oar

Pretty bored

Sittin' inside of his home, oh no

**But then you met me**

**And I suggested we**

**Go on a little holiday trip** (little trip)

**Really quick** (really quick)

**And we went down to the Bahamas for a dip** (for a dip)

And we just kept going (just kept going)

**We ate tangerines in Tokyo**

And caught a flight to Borneo

**And spent a day in Reykjavik**

**The hotdogs there were pretty sick**

**We've been to Bangalore**

**A**nd Bogota

**Had onion rings in Omaha**

Got high as hell in Amsterdam

And ate up all our Christmas ham (ate-up-all-our-Christmas-ham!)

**(Well that was good ham)**

**(I hope where we go next has more ham)**

(Oh yeah, that's be good!)

Why don't (why don't) we stop for brunch in Saskatoon? (Saskatoon!)

**Namibia to see some dunes**

Chicago just to peep the bean

**Antarctica if we've got time?** (if we've got time)

I hear that France has decent wine

**To London where the tea is served**

**And maybe skip** | St. Petersburg

Hey what's the deal with | Idaho?

Like, should we bother?

Singapore or Bora Bora?

(o-h)

(inaudible)

**Okay**

That's good

**Bye**