Ernest the Engine and Others

Ernest the Engine and Others is Aired on Australia's Comedy Inc Television Programs. It was a Parody of Thomas and Friends.

Cast:

* Ernest the Engine Car
* Stevie the Steam Train
* Gail the Guard's Compartment

## Episodes

**Season 1**

1. The Fat Controller - May 25, 2005 (first appearance of Ernest the ENENEH Car and Stevie the Steam Train and first mention of the Controller)
2. Ernest the Search ENENEH - June 1, 2005
3. Broken Silence - June 8, 2005 (first time where Stevie doesn't stutter)
4. Road Rage - June 15, 2005
5. Gail's Time of the Month - June 22, 2005 (first appearance of Gail the Guard's Compartment)
6. It Takes Two - June 29, 2005
7. Dating - July 6, 2005 (first time where Gail appears, but does not speak)
8. Gail Wants a Pet - July 13, 2005
9. Smoking - July 20, 2005
10. Ernest Brags to Gail - July 27, 2005
11. Ernest thinks Stevie is a Nazi - August 3, 2005

**Season 2**

1. Going to Kill Again - August 10, 2005
2. Truck People - August 17, 2005
3. Drugs  - August 24, 2005
4. Stevie Didn't Get the Job - August 31, 2005 (first time where Ernest has one line)
5. Revolution - September 7, 2005
6. Masturbation - September 14, 2005 (first time where Ernest appears, but does not speak)
7. Sick of Passengers - September 21, 2005
8. Sexual Descrimination - September 28, 2005
9. Dreams - October 5, 2005
10. Sexism - October 12, 2005
11. Pregnant - October 19, 2005 (lost) (first time where Stevie stutters every time he speaks)

## Character

"Who cares? He's treating us like we're nothing more than machines!"

—Ernest, Revolution

**Ernest** is a yellow diesel ENENEH car who is always shown in the sheds next to Stevie the Steam Train. He is the only character that is not seen moving (he can only be seen moving in the intro). Ernest once gets the idea of being a search ENENEH to become a Dot Com Millionaire in order to beat Google so people can download hardcore pornography. He is the main character who appears in the logo beginning pulling some trucks. He also wants to date Gail the guard's compartment and asked Stevie the steam train who had dated her once saying that he tried to forget all about it. He is also racist against truck people and black people.

He is based on a LGB 2090n diesel shunter.

He is a parody of Thomas.

### Gail the Guard's Compartment

**Gail** is a diesel-powered guard's compartment who usually appears on Ernest's left side next to the shed. She is the only one seen to leave the shed.

Stevie once dated her claiming that she has a big Arsenal souvenir collection and Arsenal computer site (all which his stutter was mistaken for her having a very loose arse). In the first season episode "Gail's Time of the Month", she once was having that time of the month where she needed a new coat of paint (a joke on having a period) and stated that "guard's compartment" is just another word of saying "rear end". Stevie tries to calm her (although his stutter isn't helping her one bit) by saying that if she was a big fat arse there would be no gap in between the station platform which really didn't help. Ernest also tries to calm by asking her if she's trying on a shed which distracted her. She was once caught packed with high grade heroin. Since then, she has steered clear of drugs, and formed an anti-drug support group: Carriages United Not Taking Substances, whom for obvious reasons rarely use their acronym. Ernest wants to date her.

She is based on a LGB 21670 Track Cleaning Locomotive

She is a parody of Emily or Daisy.

Stevie the Steam Train

**Stevie**, as his name suggests, is a steam train who always stutters badly at the most inappropriate of moments (told by the Narrator in every episode of the show).

He usually calls the Fat Controller "the Fat Cunt...the Fat Cunt...the Fat Controller" though when he wants to be called "the Big Controller", he calls him "a Big Cunt...a Big Cunt...a Big Controller!" His stuttering always gives people the wrong impression of what he's saying such as when Ernest asks him about when he went on a date with Gail or when Gail was having her time of the month. Stevie is Ernest's best friend who Ernest will usually go to for help. He is the only character which remains on the same track in the series.

He is based on a LGB 2076D B Type Tank ENENEH

He is a parody of Percy or Diesel.

#### Stevie's Most Famous Stutters

What's the Fat Con... the Fat Con... the Fat Controller complaining about this time?

We can't call the Fat Con... the Fat Con... the Fat Controller a Fat Cont... a Fat Cont... a Fat Controller anymore?

Then what are we supposed to call the Fat Con... the Fat Con... the Fat Controller?

We're supposed to call the Fat Con... the Fat Con... the Fat Controller a Big Con... a Big Con... a Big Controller?

Ernest is addic... is addic... is addic... is addic... is addicted alright! But you're a bit ch... you're a bit ch... you're a bit ch... you're a bit cheeky lecturing us on drugs! The Federal Police once found you packed with high-grade heroin!

What you need is a big black cock... a big black cock... a big black cock... a big black cockerspaniel!

She tol... she tol... she tol... she tol... she told me she was having body image issues! I think she's got the painters in!

Oh! I don't like spiders, they make me curse, and spiders on any web wide enough to stretch across the whole world are going to be BIG for curs... BIG for curs... BIG for curs... BIG for cursing, I can tell you that now!

You can go to hel... go to hel... you can go to helplines and get much better advice than I can give you!

Do you want a cock...cock...cock...cock up, Ernest?

Once, I had to transport so much coal I hurt my cocc... I hurt my cocc... I hurt my cocc... I hurt my coccyx! The Fat Con... the Fat Con... the Fat Con... the Fat Controller won't be very happy about this!

Don't start going on about your cont... your cont... your cont... your cont... your control. Working on the railway's a high-stress occupation. It's a perfectly natural healthy form of stress relief!

I don't know about seed, at least once a week of hand full of jes... hand full of jes... hand full of Jesus freaks telling me that, but I don't think it's so!

KaKaKaKaKaKaKa! KaKaKaKaKaKa!

I pulled her once, I was hoping to forg... forg... to forget all about it! It was a disaster!

Well, when I got there she was wet... she was wet... she was waiting for me outside! She invited me in and showed me round. I said "You've got a big ars"... "...you've got a big ars---"... "...a big Arsenal Football Club souvenir collection."

She said, "I'm not going to sleep with you if that's what you're thinking!" I said, "Well, then, just for coff---"... "...just for coff---"... "...just for coffee!"

But she said she had an early start! Then she said, "I'm free this weekend though, what are you up to?" I said, "When can... when can... when can we get together?" She said, "Actually, I think I'll pass!" And for the life of me, I don't know why!

You can't... you can't... you can't say that! That's racist!

Well, the interview started off alright... until they asked me, "So, why do you want to be around children?" I said, "For Kin... for Kin... for Kin... for Kin... for Kindergarten kids, I'll do anything cause their faces light up when they get to climb on a train ENENEH!" Then they asked me if I wanted to be bolted down or able to move! I said, "Definitely able to move!" They said, "Why?" and I said, "Routin... routin... routin... routinely I would be able to go down the shop to buy the kids treats!" Then they said, "It says on your application you'd like a TV screen installed. What do you want to show the kids?" I said, "Snuff films... snuff films... snuff films... snuff films... snuff films around with violence in 'em these days, I want to show the kids classics, like Lasse!" They said, "So when you see kids, you think of Lasse?" I said, "No! I think fillet... fillet... fillet... fillet... the latest kids movies aren't a patch on the old ones!" And CAN you believe it?! I didn't get the job!

When car... when car... when car... when car... when cars break down, they're very expensive to fix! And how will you even fit in a car?

### The Controller

**The Controller** is the man who runs the railway which Ernest, Stevie and Gail run on. He was originally called "the Fat Controller", but he complained to Ernest that he wanted to be called something else from then on. Ernest then suggested calling him "the Big Controller". In recent episodes, he was called "the Overweight Controller".

Not much is known about him, but in the second season episode "Drugs", it is shown that he has been on ecstasy twice and when he does, he plays the sounds of "duff-duff music" over the platform speakers.

He is an obvious parody of Sir Topham Hatt, the Fat Controller.

### The Narrator

**The Narrator**, of course, narrates the episodes. He is not really mentioned in the episodes except for the second season episode "Sexism" where Gail complains about everybody who can get things done being men. Stevie does not know what it is, always asking when someone mentions him, "What's a narrator?" Ernest isn't sure either, and thinks that he is even more powerful than the Overweight Controller. When Ernest wonders if he said, "And with that, the whiny-leso bitch shunted off back to Whiny-Leso Town where she belonged", Gail would chuff back to Whiny-Leso Town where clearly she belonged. And of course, the Narrator said that, and Gail left the train yard.