Welcome to the Equinox

March 22, 2019

It's been a month... *more* than a month...
I remember transforming. I remember summoning the tree, and the strange sense of relief and- peace, as it encased me. Everything after that is just... like a dream. There are these conversations and interactions in my head that I don't remember having, but at the same time they're so real and I feel them so strongly... Everyone who visited. Everyone who cared. And just a sense of- hollowness, when I realize who didn't.

When I woke up, I was so happy to see my friends! And they seemed pretty happy to see me too, haha. It feels like no real time has passed for me, but they were waiting and worrying that whole time. I really am sorry about that... I didn't know this would happen. But I suppose expending so much of my magic only a few days apart- the repercussions were bound to catch up to me. More repercussions than I could have realized...

The others have told me what they discovered in the Feywild (I can't believe there's -actually- a Feywild. And now some of my friends have been there??). I called Mother. One of these Knights visited her (the previous Summer Knight, I found out later). To make sure I'm at least partly mortal I suppose? Since if I wasn't, they'd be required to take me back to the Feywild?

She also told me something else... Father- Declan... He's- not really my father. Not biologically anyway. Apparently she fell in love once before, or thought she had. But one day that man just said sorry and disappeared from her life. Then later she found out she was pregnant- with me. I can't believe I have a father I never knew about somewhere. What's he like? Apparently he must be one of these Winter Archfey. It sounded like they're not usually very nice, but- mother loved him at some point, so he can't be all bad right?

All of that brings me to the Knights... the Equinox. A few days after I got home, a man came to the manor. He called himself Estival. The Summer Knight. He was- certainly impressive. His armor wasn't like Gwen's or Elle's. It seemed lighter and more flexible, and was golden with green accents. I could sense the protective magic in the runes inscribed across it.

Estival was very regal and pleasant and polite, but honestly I felt intimidated. He was taking my measure throughout the conversation. Quietly judging. I've heard stories about the Summer Knight... it's a legacy that's been around for a very long time, but I've never seen one of them. I think the others mentioned meeting one (albeit a future one) in the Feywild. Then the current title holder shows up on my doorstep and tells me the Fey Queens had reached a decision... as a half mortal I'm allowed to stay in this realm, but they request I join the Equinox as their Winter Knight - a title that has gone unclaimed for as long as I can remember.

It was phrased as a request, but it felt a bit more pressing than that. I'm not sure if I was allowed to say no... But also, maybe this is a good thing. I've always wanted to be a hero, and what better way than to become part of an established hero legacy. Right? And he did seem to truly believe I may be able to help against their nemesis, The Erlking, who sounds extremely unpleasant and dangerous from what I've heard... Equinox or no, I would be willing to help against that.

He said I could continue working with the Big Team for now, and I'm very grateful for that. So many of them have become like family to me. And we keep getting more new members, who- well I wouldn't claim they need my guidance, but maybe they could use a new friend? As little as my contribution to the Team feels sometimes, I can still do my best to protect them for as long as I'm able...

When I agreed to become the Winter Knight, Estival showed me a new incantation. The Equinox use it to summon their armor, and he explained the armor manifests differently for each wielder. It feels a bit strange to be wearing armor instead of my old costume... But I suppose now I can *really* fit in with Elle and Gwen! Haha. Though truly, fancy title or no, I'm still no knight compared to them. But I'm okay with that.

My armor is even less like theirs than the Summer Knight's is. I think it's mostly some sort of chainmail? Though the metal is almost white and the links are very fine. There's some lovely silver vine inlays and some silk fabric and- I just really hope I don't look terribly foolish in it... I'm already struggling to get used to all these other changes that happened, since it seems they're permanent this time. My hair, my ears, my skin... and these wings! It's so weird to always feel them on my back. I would have thought they'd be heavier but it's really not so bad... And at least I can phase them out so nobody else has to deal with them, thank goodness. That would be so awkward bumping into everything...

All in all, it's good to be back. Though it both does and doesn't feel like I was ever away. The tree continues to hold up Zodiac City. Sometimes I can feel it... as though I'm still there. It may not have been the best or most convenient solution, but I'm so happy I was able to help somewhat at least. Especially if what Herald admitted to me afterward is true... I should really ask him about that.

I hope Mortem is doing well... but he probably doesn't want to see me.