139: St. Patrick's Day Special Report

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Today, Dan tells Jordan about how Alex Jones came into the studio probably drunk on St. Patrick's Day and rambled a bunch on nonsense about European crowns, how much Trump loves you, and how much Alex hates getting texts from his wife. Also, the Alex Jones Drops Bracket begins!

## Tidbits

* March Madness begins!
* Hamamoto Pink Guitar
* Steve Pieczenik: I'm in a hurricane
* Drunk Special Report: Trump to indict Hillary
* Hear that silence?
* Books make you a Nazi
* English crown is a Transylvanian crown
* Alex's power scares George Soros
* Alex rambles about the black nobility of Venice
* McCabe... Trump saved the nation from hanging at the last minute
* Trump is the face of providence
* Big Gulp
* Statistically, women suck on the battlefield
* Alex is wrong when he doubts Trump
* McCabe made his subordinates change their 302's
* Who's ahead? Globalists or Patriots?
* Lawsuits are globalist attacks
* I'm happier than I've ever been
* Generals want Alex's guidance
* This clip encapsulates Alex
* Motivational speech
* Trump believes in you
* Trump firing McCabe is everything
* Trump and Alex are connected by solar wind
* Rob Dew is a jazz player
* Alex's 10 month old can read his mind
* Last thing: They're going to kill Trump
* Alex finds peace in the fog of war
* Alex explains birthright

## Detailed Show Notes

Though Alex Jones does not do a show on Saturdays generally, on March 17th he decided to pop down to the studio and record a 24-minute special report, basically about nothing.

It is St. Patrick's Day weekend, and Alex definitely seems a little drunk. He has the trademark "way-too-long pauses" going, he gets vaguely esoteric at points for no reason, he has no ability to stay focused on any topic for more than a fleeting second, oh, and of course, he produces a Dixie cup from underneath his table and drinks from it long and hard, in a way few of us have ever drank water:

 File:Https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/58bc3c86b8a79bbdc67b182c/1521396658623-9BQ3RQOK6M8X26XI5QVN/drink1.JPG
 File:Https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/58bc3c86b8a79bbdc67b182c/1521396678943-62NJ5YICYTVDWDQ0JEHH/drink2.JPG
 File:Https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/58bc3c86b8a79bbdc67b182c/1521396697258-44JNMF2R3YQVY50I7S0A/drink3.JPG
The title of the video is "Hillary About To Be Indicted After McCabe Firing," but in reality, that topic is only briefly touched on. Instead, Alex goes on long jags about how he "follows his gut" now more than ever, and that's led him to criticize Trump lately, and he regrets it, because Trump is just so great.

Alex expounds on some of his normal talking points, like how he "never says that we are close to victory," but that this time the "Patriots" are super close to victory. For those not paying attention, the only think Alex does more than awkwardly throw to an on-air commercial is say that his side is "*this close*" to winning (and that if you "flood him with cash," he will destroy the "Globalists").

There's some requisite stroking of Alex's ego along the way, where he tells his listeners that the very high end Generals and military leaders call him and ask, "Alex, what do we do? We need you to be our leader." Of course, Alex follows this up by making sure you don't think he's bragging.

All in all, it's a very standard "Special Report." Alex is drunk/drinking, he thinks he's going to cover one thing, but he ends up rambling about literally anything else, and, in the end, all that's really achieved is Alex gets to put out a salaciously titled video to get some extra eyes on his pill commercials.

1. ↑ March 17, 2018