Having a Baby & Raising Small Children in Denmark

## **Giving Birth in Denmark**

### **Overall**

According to Save the Children, Denmark is one of the best counties to give birth (see here https://www.savethechildren.net/state-worlds-mothers-infographics).

Giving birth and all pregnancy check-ups are free in Denmark, as part of public healthcare system. All you need to have is a Yellow Card with Danish social security number. Most women choose to use public healthcare system and private birth are very rare (I personally haven't heard of anyone who has done it). The overall quality and professionalism of the personnel is quite high, so it is indeed a very good option.

### **Pregnancy / Before birth**

Be prepared to have very few interactions with the medics before birth. If you have a healthy pregnancy without complications, you will have only a couple of appointments with your own doctor, two ultra-sound scans and three midwife appointments at the hospital where you will be giving birth.

You will not have an assigned doctor or midwife who will follow your pregnancy, other than your own GP. But even he/she will not have full access to your medical records from the hospital. It does feel somewhat hands-off but in the end the overall system works quite well. In case you have any complications, there will be frequent check-ups to make sure all goes well. Also, you can always call the midwifes in your hospital to get an advice if you get worried.

If you feel like you need more help, advice or need extra ultra-sound appointments, there are private midwife clinics that you can use. Some links that may be helpful:

* https://www.ultralydklinikken.dk - Ultra-sound clinic in the city centre, they do different types of ultra-sound, e.g. in case you want to check baby gender early on
* https://jordemoderhuset.com - Private midwives, provide midwife consultations, also ultrasound checks, birth preparation and even massage and acupuncture.

### **Giving Birth**

#### **Overall approach**

In general, Danes support natural birth with minimal medical intervention. The whole process is supervised by a midwife and doctors are called in only when needed. To me, this seems like a great approach that is centered around a woman rather than doctors. This means that midwives and doctors will always advise you to use as little medication as possible throughout the birth. Having said that, they do offer a wide range of painkillers and different techniques to ease pain during contractions and help you on the way.

You can check the full list of pain relief methods at your hospitals' website. In most places you can get a shower or a bath tub (you can also give birth in the water), laughter gas (not all hospitals), acupuncture, etc.

Here is a good post describing the experience of giving birth in Denmark and "Danish" approach quite well: https://scandisensibility.com/2015/07/28/a-danish-delivery/

My second child was born in Denmark and I loved it, so I would definitely recommend giving birth in Denmark to anyone.

 You can choose between giving birth at home or at the hospital.

##### **Home birth**

Home births are quite common and midwives will fully support you in doing it, if you have no complications during the pregnancy. In case of home birth, a midwife will come over to your home. They are trained to support home birth and have some painkillers and other medicine with them.

In case of complications during the labour, the woman can (and will) be transferred to the hospital. To know more, check with your doctor and midwife.

##### **Hospital birth**

Most women opt for a birth in the hospital. Before coming to the hospital, you can call the emergency number that you get from the midwives to get instructions on what to do next. Once you are admitted to the hospital, you will be assigned a midwife who will follow you through the labour. From my own and others' experience, the midwives are very experienced and compassionate. Your partner can be with you during the birth which is perfect to get an extra support during contractions and labour.

##### **After birth**

After the birth, the midwife will immediately give you the baby skin to skin and give you plenty of time to spend with your partner and the baby.

If it's your first birth you can stay in the hospital for a few days to get help with breastfeeding and baby care. Many first moms choose to do that to rest and to get a few days of peace and calm after the birth. For your reference, here is the link from Hvidovre hospital (in Danish) describing this option - https://www.hvidovrehospital.dk/afdelinger-og-klinikker/foedeomraadet/Efter-foedslen/Sider/Barselsafsnittet.aspx.

If it's your second or third child and you had no complications, you can leave the hospital 4 hours after birth. Most likely, it will be exactly what you want to do to come back to the older kids :)

When you are back home, you will get a few visits from a nurse who will monitor baby development and mother's well-being and give an advice on whatever topic you might need. The first visit will be already during the first week after birth, so you will have a chance to ask all kinds of questions.

After 6-8 weeks your nurse will assign you to a mothers' group with other mom's who gave birth around the same time with you. You can ask to be part of an international or Danish group. You can even ask your nurse to connect you to other moms from your country, if she knows some of them. This is a great way to meet other moms to socialize and get some advice.

#### **Parental leave**

In Denmark, both mothers and fathers get parental leave. It is quite good, compared to Anglo-Saxon countries but less than you get in other Nordics.

##### **Length of parental leave (quote: Thelocal.dk)**

Parental leave in Denmark consists of a few elements:

* Pregnancy leave for the mother from four weeks prior to expected birth date.
* Maternity leave for mother for 14 weeks following birth.
* Leave for father or second parent for two weeks following birth or at any time during first 14 weeks subject to employer agreement.
* 32 weeks of paid parental leave which can be shared between the two parents, with an optional further 32 weeks unpaid.

Here you can find more details on parental leave

* In English: https://www.thelocal.dk/20181107/the-locals-introductory-guide-to-parental-leave-in-denmark
* In Danish:  https://bm.dk/arbejdsomraader/arbejdsvilkaar/barselsorlov/barselsorloven-hvor-meget-orlov-og-hvordan-kan-den-holdes/

##### **How much many you can get during parental leave**

Your parental leave benefits are based on a calculation of your normal average hourly wage and how many hours per week you are on leave. In 2018, the highest amount you can receive is 116 kroner per hour, or 4,300 kroner per week (prior to tax deduction).

Most companies choose to pay more than this amount, so you need to check with your employer what the conditions are. For example, many companies pay the mother her full salary for 6 months or even up to one year. Extended paternity leave is also quite common.

## **Childcare**

### **Childcare options in Denmark**

Denmark has many childcare options, normally starting from the age of 6 months.

All children in Denmark are guaranteed a place in a childcare institution. It's very common for Danish and international families to use public childcare.

### **Municipal childcare institutions**

Public childcare in Denmark is indeed very high quality and many foreigners choose to send their kids to Danish nurseries and kindergartens.

The most commonly used childcare options are municipal nurseries (Vuggestue) for children 0-3 years old and kindergartens (Børnehave) or children 3-6 years old.

The opening hours of the childcare facilities are in most cases Monday-Thursday 6:30-7:30 am to 4:30-5 pm, and Fridays until 4-4:30 pm.

Childcare is financed partly by the parents, partly by the municipality (this applies to all types of childcare, incl. private). Prices differ somewhat depending on the municipality and the type of childcare. Prices for children 0-3 years old are approx. up to DKK 3900 per month including meals, kindergartens often cost less.

You can sign up for the waiting list to 2-3 institutions once your child has a Danish CPR number. It is done through the website of the municipality, where you can see the institutions' location, number of kids and waiting list. You can also contact the institutions to come for a tour before you sign up.

The waiting time will depend on the length of the waiting list and the area where you live. Be prepared to wait a few months after you sing up to get a place. Also, feel free to call the institutions and ask how long you may need to wait for a space.

Some municipal kindergartens offer English-speaking groups. You can read about the ones offered by  Copenhagen Municipality here - https://www.kk.dk/indhold/skriv-op-til-boernehave, check ENGLISH LANGUAGE GROUPS FOR EXPATS

#### **What to expect from Danish kindergartens**

Danes believe that young children learn through play and are not ready for structured academic learning until they go to school. Hence, Danish kindergartens focus on fostering creativity, motor skills and, very importantly, social skills and self-confidence. You will not find a structured academic program in Danish kindergartens. It is more common to have some themes where children get to learn about nature or animals or any other topic. Children have a lot of free time to play and every day spend time outside.

To read some firsthand impressions from Danish kindergartens, you can look here:

https://www.yourdanishlife.dk/from-preschool-to-first-grade-what-i-learned-about-danish-early-education/

https://expatfamilyindenmark.wordpress.com/2017/05/31/preschool-in-denmark/

#### **How to sign up**

Copenhagen municipality

* To sign up for nursery (vuggestue) go here - https://www.kk.dk/indhold/søg-og-skriv-dit-barn-op-til-vuggestue-og-dagpleje
* To sign up for kindergarten (børnehave) go here - https://www.kk.dk/indhold/skriv-op-til-boernehave

Gentofte, incl. Hellerup municipality

* Both vuggestue and kindergarten - https://www.gentofte.dk/da/Borger/Familie-og-børn/Dagtilbud-til-de-yngste/Pladsanvisning

### **Private childcare institutions**

You can opt for a private institution, in case you are looking for a childcare in English, French or other languages or you don't have a few months to wait for a place in the municipal kindergarten.

Normally private institutions have some theme, e.g. music or language focus. You can find the list of private institutions on the website of municipality.

* Here is the list for Copenhagen Municipality - https://www.kk.dk/sites/default/files/uploaded-files/oversigt\_over\_private\_institutioner\_-\_2019.pdf
* Here is the list for Gentofte/Hellerup Municipality - https://www.gentofte.dk/da/Borger/Familie-og-børn/Dagtilbud-til-de-yngste/Privatinstitutioner

To sign up for private institutions, you need to reach out to them directly.

Please see below a few private English kindergartens (not exhaustive list)

* Stepping Stones - http://www.steppingstones.dk
* Childrens' Garden - https://www.childrensgarden.dk/
* Montessori International School - http://montessoripreschool.dk
* Bornehave Globus - https://www.gentofte.dk/da/Borger/Familie-og-b%C3%B8rn/Dagtilbud-til-de-yngste/Find-dagtilbud/518e956a79754edaa435b63f56a5c490, Address Rygårds Allé 572900 Hellerup, Tlf. +4539624043, globus@gentofte.dk

### **Other childcare options**

The other two childcare options are called Dagpleje and Privat passing (private childcare)

These options are also partially subsidized by the municipalities.

#### **Dagpleje (day care)**

Dagpleje is typically a woman who is watching up to 5 children (typically up to 3 years old) at her home. This is an alternative for a vuggestue and often used by parents, while they are waiting for the place in a public institution.

The dagpleje can be municipal (i.e. approved, employed and paid by the municipality) or private. To sign up for a municipal one, you need to use the same form as for vuggestue sign up. For private dagpleje, you need to search yourself. Sometimes there are bulletin board on municipality websites.

#### **Privat pasning (private childcare)**

You can also get financial support from the municipality if you are hiring someone, e.g. a childminder or a nanny to look after your child at your or his/her home. You can use this option, while waiting for a place at the institution or even instead of going to an institution. You cannot get the support in case your child is already attending an institution. As an example, you can pay a nanny or a friend to look after your child. In this case, the municipality can provide some financial support and will require you to comply with their requirements re safety of the childcare place and qualifications of the childminder.

Here is the link for announcement board where you can find a private dagpleje or pasning in Copenhagen municipality: https://pasningogskole.kk.dk/opslagstavlen

Some more information on the childcare can be found here: https://lifeindenmark.borger.dk/Coming-to-Denmark/Family-and-children

### **Au pair and nanny**

#### **Au Pair**

Au Pair is probably the best option in terms of cost. But be aware that it might not be available to the new international families in Denmark due to requirements to the host families. More specifically, one of the important conditions to have an Au Pair in Denmark is that that a host family has to have a thorough knowledge of Danish culture (see detailed description under the link below).

Source and details on Au Pair scheme: https://www.nyidanmark.dk/en-GB/You-want-to-apply/Au-pair

##### **Finding a nanny or babysitter**

To find a nanny in Denmark, you can use a few resources:

1. Rygaards List of 10th-11th grade students as nannies. Rygaards puts together a list of students who are interested in a babysitter job. This is one of the cheapest options. Please reach out to school admissions or IPC for the latest list.
2. Use Facebook groups to find a babysitter (post a job of look for someone offering babysitting). If you are looking for an international babysitter or maybe someone from your own country, then it's the best way to go. Some of the relevant Facebook groups are: Rygaards Skole Community Page, International Parents in Denmark, Copenhagen International Parents, your class Facebook group, your relevant community group (e.g. English, Russian, etc.)
3. Use an agency. There are few agencies who offer babysitting services, e.g. Nannies of Copenhagen. Unfortunately, I did not have experience with them, so I cannot share much details here
4. Use websites tailored for nanny search. I’ve had a very good response rate on minbabysitter.dk when I was looking for a babysitter. In the end, the other options worked out, so I did not have a chance to actually hire someone through this website.

#### **English-speaking playgroups and kid clubs**

Rygaards' Playgroup runs each Monday morning 9.15-11.15am during term time. For more details, join the Rygaards' playgroup facebook page.

Having said that, there are many ad hoc activities and workshops for kids, both in English and Danish. Also, feel free to join for Danish clubs and classes, if you are interested (see respective part of the guide). Most Danes speak English very well, so they will be happy to translate for you during the class, if needed.

Here is the list of places where you could look for upcoming events

1. Copenhagen International Parents Facebook page is a great source of information for upcoming events in both English and Danish
2. You can find out about some activities for kids on the Born I Byen website (in Danish) - https://bornibyen.dk/koebenhavn/events
3. International Parents Meetups - great place to connect to other parents with kids- https://www.meetup.com/international-parents-copenhagen/
4. Local libraries host many children' events. Check out the events page here - https://bibliotek.kk.dk/arrangementer
5. LINK Kids Corner - English-speaking playgroup for 1-5-year-old children. You can find more about the group on its Facebook page -  https://www.facebook.com/groups/LINKBumpsandbabies/

#### **Some places to visit with kids**

Full list of indoor and outdoor playgrounds (includes some other things listed here) - https://bornibyen.dk/koebenhavn/categories/60-park-leg

Here is the list of some of the favorite places to visit with kids:

1. Tivoli Gardens - Cozy amusement park with nice playground for kids
2. Bakken - Amusement Park in the north of the city, only open during the summer
3. Experimentarium - Interactive museum and a playground for the kids, very good option for rainy weather
4. Copenhagen Zoo – Offers a lot of activities for kids, including children’s zoo with farm animals - https://www.zoo.dk/en/
5. National Art Museum offers children's art workshops on the weekends, check their calendar for upcoming events - https://www.smk.dk/en/list/calendar/
6. The Blue Planet – Largest aquarium in Northern Europe - https://denblaaplanet.dk/en/
7. Outdoor museum Den Gamle By - https://en.natmus.dk/museums-and-palaces/frilandsmuseet/
8. Trampolin park - https://airtrix.dk
9. KU.BE - indoor playground for rainy weather

## **Where to buy things for kids**

### **Online stores**

German or UK Amazon are commonly used here. The delivery time is around a week and the German one is normally a bit faster.

If you are looking for a faster delivery, you can go for a smaller local store (the delivery time is not guaranteed though). To find the cheapest version online, you can check pricerunner.dk - it's a price comparison website where you can find best deals.

### **Second hand**

Given rather high prices in Denmark, it is very common to buy and resell second-hand items.

You can do it in a few ways:

#### **Online (websites and apps)**

* dba.dk - resell of everything, from toys to cars, also has offer of new items from some online stores
* reshopper.dk - resell of kids-related items, also has an app. It is very convenient to find things on offer near where you live
* https://tradono.dk/ - mainly focused on clothes and furniture

#### **Offline**

Second hand shops (genbrugsbutik) are a good option to buy or give away some kids items.

The most common ones are these two (you can volunteer there, give away your items or buy something):

* Red Barnet - https://redbarnet.dk/vaer-med/genbrugsbutikker/
* Mødrehjelpen - https://moedrehjaelpen.dk/forside/kontakt/butikker/
* Red Cross - https://www.rodekors.dk/genbrug

You can find a full list of second-hand shops here: http://www.loppemarked.nu/genbrugsbutikker/

Another great option to buy or sell things is to go to a garage sale (loppemarked). They are very common and frequently organized around the city. Just show up there and wander around to see if you wish to buy something.  If you want to sell some of you stuff, you can rent a stand for a day (normally it includes just a table at best).

Normally you can find them by reading posters around your neighborhood. Also feel free to search online.

### **Pharmacies and medicines**

#### **Danish Pharmacies**

* Pharmacy in Danish is called Apotek. Most of them work normal office hours, 8 am - 6 pm on weekdays and a shorter day on a Saturday. Pharmacies in shopping centers often work longer hours, e.g. until 8 pm.
* The one place you need to know is a 24/7 pharmacy next to Copenhagen Railway Station - Steno Apotek, Vesterbrogade 6C, 1620, Copenhagen
* https://www.stenoapotek.dk
* List of OTC medicines not available in Denmark
* Most medicines, including antibiotics, would require a prescription.
* When you are coming to Denmark from abroad, it is a good idea to bring some medicines with you to have a safety stock at home. Danish doctors are quite conservative towards use of medicines, so it’s not always easy to get a prescription from a Danish doctor. For example, if you have a cold, most likely you will be advised to drink more fluids and rest.