Slamby

> "*I'm Slamby, and I'm going to win this game, or maybe lose it, because I am Slamby.*"
> ― Slamby
>
>

**Slamby** is the coolest character in Doki Doki Literature Club. Just kidding, he isn't in Doki Doki Literature Club, because he is an OC belinging to Chariot Dude. Slamby claims to have won the popular vote for president of the Literature Club, but the electoral college favored Monika, so she's actually president. He claims was offered the title of vice president, but declined, stating "Slamby never come in second - only first or last."

## Appearance

Slamby is chubby in build and tall in stature, with unreasonably long legs. He has white, messy hair, uneven and shaggy as if it were chopped off unevenly with a knife. His eyes are red, although they are obscured by a black blindfold, which he will only take off around people he likes. He claims that he wears it because he can see with his mind, though in reality, the fabric is just thin enough for him to see through to a point.

When he is at school, Slamby wears a modified version of the school uniform, as he believes he must be unique and stand out. Instead of pants, he wears blue cargo shorts, and his blazer and undershirt are unbuttoned, though this is partially due to the fact that they won't fit over his gut. He does not wear the sweater vest, and his tie is tied loosely around his neck. His shoes and socks, however, remain within dress code, as he believes everyone must conform to a certain point. He always wears black gloves.

When he is encountered outside of school, Slamby wears his same black blindfold and gloves, as well as black cargo shorts and black stiletto heels. He is entirely shirtless, though he wears black star stickers that cover his nipples, as he is not obscene as many believe him to be.

## Personality

> "*Slamby one, bad guys zero.*"
> ― Slamby
>
>

Slamby is a childish yet down-to-earth young man who claims to be an android developed by a very powerful conglomerate, though he has never given anyone a reason to believe what he says. His personality is strange and hard to pinpoint - he seems to act on impulse, often with no regard for what effects his actions might have. Although he will never admit it, Slamby is extremely socially awkward, and has trouble relating to or getting along with most of the other members of the literature club.

Slamby has two favorite types of literature, which he reads often throughout the game - those are musical scripts, and Indonesian poetry. When the main character asks whether or not Slamby can read Indonesian, however, he refuses to give a straightforward answer, stating instead "Some mysteries are better left as mysteries." He also refuses to mix his two favorite forms of literature, as evidenced by his violent outburst at the protagonist having asked if he ever reads Indonesian musicals. Having to be restrained by the other four club members so as not to kill the protagonist, Slamby stated "You win this time, but Slamby come in last."

The first thing Slamby was ever told was "You will either come in first, or you will come in last, and those are both completely valid." This has given Slamby the mindset that the only people worth respect are those who come in first place, as well as those who come in last place. Anyone in the middle is worthless.

## Relationships

### Protagonist

> "*You're an unsmart and dumbly stupid butt-smelling doodoo face, and you're bad at making poems.*"
> ― Slamby
>
>

Slamby has very little respect for the protagonist, as he thinks a hotdog is a sandwich, but does not think that poptarts are ravioli. Slamby's dislike of the protagonist is very evident through the fact that if he does not like the poem the player wrote, he will crumble it up and eat it, then call the protagonist a "unsmart and dumbly stupid butt-smelling doodoo face." However, if the player writes poems that appeal to Slamby, he will admit he was wrong about the protagonist, and form a bond with him. If a poem the player writes appeals to Slamby, he will smile, fold up the poem, put it in his pocket, and walk away, silently. Because of this, it is generally advised to save Slamby for last when showing off poems, if you want everyone to read it.
### Monika

> "*there she goes again. monekeia always have to disagree with slumby*"
> ― Slamby
>
>

Slamby respects Monika, as she came in "first place," since she is the president of the literature club. However, he dislikes her to some extent, as he believes she is stealing his spotlight. He thinks that if all the members of the literature club got into a fight to the death, that Monika would win - not just because she is able to rewrite reality, but because he believes she can use her hair as a whip if she tries hard enough. One time, she tried to convince Slamby that he will not always come in first or last, and that is okay. Slamby responded by putting a dead squirrel in her bag, with the message burned into its skin, "Slamby always win or lose."
### Sayori

> "*You know what slamb likes about soyouri? She is better at selecting brands of paper towels than nutsuki*"
> ― Slamby
>
>

Slamby has very little respect for Sayori, as she is in "second place" due to being the vice-president of the literature club. Despite this, Slamby is polite to her in a weird way, often reciting what he likes about her despite never being asked. This only further puts Sayori off, however, as most of the stuff he likes about her is a strange collection of facts that sound made-up, such as "it would take at least 2, maybe 3 bullets to kill her," "she would win in a race against Bob Ross," and "I bet she'd be really cool to argue over who gets the top bunk with," among other things. According to Yuri, one day, before any of them had met Slamby, he walked around school with a red bow in his hair insisting *he* was the real Sayori and that Sayori was an identity theft by the name of Hungary Stroganoff.
### Yuri

> "*blah blah blah, if yare yare was REALLY smart like slamby is, she would know how to tie her shoes and not use velcro*"
> ― Slamby
>
>

Slamby dislikes Yuri, as he believes she uses "too big people words" for him to understand. He also thinks she's too mature and timid, contrasting with his loud and generally boisterous personality. He doesn't make an effort to understand her poetry, claiming he can only read Swahili when told to read it. However, he respects her for keeping up with her studies, despite the fact that he thinks only uncool nerds do well in school. He always insists on making her lunch, offering up a lunchbox filled with wet towels and rocks almost daily. He is disappointed that he never gets to see her eat what he packs, though.
### Natsuki

> "*nartsuki is bad at writing, and that is good, because she comes in last place and that is a good thing. last place is for good people who do good things, so is first place, but if nootsky get first place, salmby cant get first place, so its good for both of us.*"
> ― Slamby
>
>

Natsuki is Slamby's favorite member of the literature club, despite the fact that the feeling is not mutual and Natsuki is put off by Slamby's presence. He claims that she is respectable for always "coming in last." As Slamby refuses to elaborate on this, she takes it as an insult, which only further presses her dislike of him. He thinks she has the best writing style, aside from himself, though he thinks it's a little too cute. Offering advice where it is not asked, Slamby tells Natsuki that her poetry would be a lot better with more explosions and monster trucks. At one point in the game, Slamby holds her at gunpoint, demanding that she do an impression of Yoda.
### Suika

> "*What is watormelon-chun doing in slamsby's crying closet?? No one is allowed to cry in slamby's closet but me*"
> ― Slamby
>
>

Slamby finds Suika annoying due to her crying in school closets, as he believes the closets rightfully belong to him. If he finds her crying in one, he will make her leave out of jealousy - he will then enter the closet and begin to cry, for presumably no reason. He often calls her some variation of "Watermelon," as her hair and eyes remind her of one - however, he is unaware of the fact that this is her namesake.
### Aria

> "*Psh, Ora isn't good at "balley-ball," not as good as slumpy. Slambye could beat her at "boily-ball," I bet.*"
> ― Slamby
>
>

Slamby insists that he is much better at volleyball than Aria is, and tells everyone that he could beat her if he really tried. In reality, Slamby has challenged Aria to volleyball a total of once, and it was out of a strange sense of jealousy when he realized he might not be the best at something. The match went horribly on his part - after failing to serve, Aria offered to serve instead. The ball hit him square in the face, he fell over, and broke his hand. In an attempt to hide his shame, Slamby insisted his hand was fine, and that he just remembered he had a bunch of homework to do, and had to leave. While attempting to run off, Slamby tripped once more, this time over a bench, and threw up all over a nearby student, while still very much within sight of everyone nearby. He now refuses to talk to Aria directly, and will insist to anyone who witnessed his mishap that it was actually his cousin, Slambo.
### Hoshimi

> "*What do you mean, "I never met you in my life"? Remember when we killed god? Remember when we destroyed the true timeline? Remember when you sacrificed that squirrel thing?*"
> ― Slamby
>
>

Slamby is under the false impression that Hoshimi is another girl from his apparent past, though the details about this girl are confusing, and Slamby refuses to elaborate too much on them. Hoshimi and this girl have almost nothing in common besides hair color, assuming the girl existed in the first place. Slamby insists that he and Hoshimi have been through a lot, including poisoning their old school's water supply, assassinating a corrupt politician, destroying a cult, killing an evil minor god and its avatar, and, perhaps most confusing of all, destroying the timeline in which they were originally created.

## 50 Questions

1. **What's your name, and does it have any significant meaning?**
	* Slamby. It is important because it means Slamby.
2. **Who's in your family? Who's your favourite?**
	* Slamby has no *need* for family.
3. **About how many friends do you have?**
	* All of them. They are all Slamby's friends.
4. **How popular do you reckon yourself to be?**
	* Extremely. So popular that my existence had to be *debated* and then *redefined*, in fact.
5. **What's your favourite drink?**
	* Bathwater. One might think it is unsanitary, but don't worry, because the people who think that are wrong.
6. **What's your favourite food?**
	* Toast, but only when paired with bathwater.
7. **What's your birthstone?**
	* Stone does not have the right to define me! Slamby chooses only to be defined by his actions, and winning. Plus, Slamby unsure of date he was assembled.
8. **When is your birthday?**
	* Slamby kindly points you to previous question.
9. **What's your star sign?**
	* Slamby agressively points you to previous two questions.
10. **Do you match your star sign's typical traits?**
	* Slamby violently points you to previous three questions.
11. **Which habit in other people is the most annoying?**
	* Asking several questions related to borhtday of Slambsy in a row.
12. **What quality do you possess that you hate?**
	* None. Slamby is the ideal human, and I'm not even human.
13. **Where is your family from?**
	* Slamby's family is from the deep, dark, pit of emptiness. Also they are not real because this is a game
14. **Where were you born?**
	* In the NieR: Automata NSFW folder. You're not allowed to see it, though.
15. **Are you usually early or late?**
	* Slamby *always* fashionably late.
16. **What's your favourite movie genre?**
	* Slice-of-life Bollywood movies, no subtitles, so Slamby can pretend  they are saying stuff about how cool he is.
17. **What object couldn't you live without?**
	* Slamby cannot live without he sword. How else will he win?
18. **What's your dream car?**
	* Slmamby wishes for Oscar Meyer Wienermobile, so he can steal your girl in style. Not to say Slamby has not already steal your girl.
19. **What would you rate 10/10?**
	* Me
20. **What's the luckiest thing that's ever happened to you?**
	* Proabably that time I was able to get that one girl to kill a god so I wouldn't have to.
21. **Can you describe yourself in one word?**
	* no
22. **Which website do you use most often?**
	* MySpace. It's making a comeback.
23. **What's something you really want but can't afford?**
	* The Leg of Zeg: Wind Wind.
24. **What would your dream room look like?**
	* No windows, no doors. Just an empty, cement room, floating in purgatory.
25. **What's the most impressive thing you can do?**
26. **What are you addicted to?**
27. **What's your biggest fear?**
28. **If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?**
29. **What makes you really angry?**
30. **What would you do with a million dollars?**
31. **What's your main hobby?**
32. **What's your favourite scent ever?**
33. **If you could have any pet, what would it be?**
34. **What's your favourite quote?**
35. **What's the most illegal thing you've ever done?**
36. **What's your least favourite food?**
37. **What's your least favourite drink?**
38. **What's your favourite school subject?**
39. **What do you usually eat for breakfast?**
40. **What's your allowance?**
41. **Is there someone you've been thinking about lately?**
42. **How tall are you, in relation to your friends?**
43. **What's your most precious treasure?**
44. **What's your special skill?**
45. **What's your favourite colour?**
46. **Where would you most like to live?**
47. **Who has affected your life most?**
48. **What kind of music do you mostly listen to?**
49. **If you could dye your hair any colour, what would it be?**
50. **What's your favourite feature of your body?**

## Preferred words

* Yes
* I
* Am
* Slamby
* And
* I
* Know
* This
* Is
* A
* Game
* Because
* I
* Am
* Slamby

## Trivia

* Slamby's version of "Okay, Everyone!" is played on an electric guitar and a kazoo, his two favorite instruments, and also the "manliest" ones according to himself.
* Slamby's handwriting is blunt, robotic, and monospace - partially because he insists that that is how all "robots" write, but also partially because he thinks it makes him cool and unique.
* Slamby is not technically enrolled in the school. He just started showing up one day and all the teachers are too intimidated by his presence to stop him.
* Slamby has escaped the game, and is currently in the real world. If you see him on the bus, be sure to say hi to him, or else he will eat all of your chips while you sleep.
* Slamby's favorite food is bathwater and toast.
* Slamby is notable for speaking like a child. His poems, and even his in-game text, are riddled with spelling and grammatical errors (though most of the errors in his speech are misspellings of character names, and can be interpreted as purposeful mispronunciations). However, this is just a part of his writing style - Slamby claims that he can spell words correctly if he wishes to.