The Basement is Great

**The Basement** is great is a song sung by The Salesman and the ginger orphans in "The Trial of Cooper".

## Lyrics

**Cooper**: *Oh my God. We're getting out of here.*

*The future's never been so clear.*

*I'll leave with ya.*

*I wanna flee with ya, wanna be with ya.*

**Vanessa**: *Oh, well see, you're not really my type.*

*I already have plans tonight.*

*I gotta go.*

*I gotta leave solo. That means alone.*

**The Salesman**: *Hey, everybody! Not so fast!*

*This place is really not so bad!*

*It's home to me,*

*And you are all sort of my family.*

**Gingers**: *That door has not been left ajar.*

*We've never seen outside so far.*

*What is out there?*

*Is there a place for kids with ginger hair?*

**The Salesman**: *Scooper, I don't know.*

*Scooper, it's a great big world.*

*The basement is a dinghy boat.*

*The gale wind's giddy hurl,*

*And out there is a fire.*

*We'll choke up on the embers.*

*Your own mom couldn't take it.*

*Now don't you remember?*

**Gingers**: *We've been waiting for it way too long,*

*To see a non-guilty verdict go to some lonely ginger boy.*

**Black Ginger**: *But now the door is open. We're feeling fine.*

*We're starting to realize that we can leave anytime.*

**The Salesman**: *Fools, I can't believe what I'm seeing.*

*Three steaks a day and the memories we've shared.*

*This parrot-dise you are considering leaving.*

*As free-range orphans, how well they have fared.*

*The basement is great.*

**Cooper**: *Oh no it isn't.*

**The Salesman**: *The basement's our fate.*

**Cooper**: *Oh, please just quit it.*

**The Salesman**: *The basement is sewn into the cloth of my soul.*

*There's no home like this subterranean hole.*

*The basement is great.*

**Cooper**: *Oh, please be quiet.*

**The Salesman**: *The basement's our fate,*

*And don't deny it.*

*The door isn't shut and I can't handle that.*

*We've gotta go back to the status quo stat.*

**Cooper**: *You fucking psycho.*

*You're deranged.*

*Nobody even knows your name.*

*Don't you dare go and close that door.*

*I can not take this anymore!*

**The Salesman**: *The basement is great!*

**Gingers**: *Oh, no it isn't!*

**The Salesman**: *Three squares a day?*

**Gingers**: *Oh, no you didn't!*

**The Salesman**: *You wanna leave me, just like my papa?*

*Then to your freedom, say ta-ta!*

**The Salesman (Speaking)**: A ha ha ha ha ha! A ha ha ha ha ha!

**Cooper (Speaking)**: WAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHH!!!

Um.

**Cooper**: *It's easy to get down in the basement,*

*And beyond these walls, you think that no one cares,*

*But I'm here to let you know, I don't always let it show,*

*That there's a song in all the hearts of those with ginger hair.*

**Gingers**: *Solidarity-darity.*

*It changes everything.*

*Ginger hair, you see-hair, you see.*

*A common anchoring.*

**The Salesman**: *He looked just like me.*

*Down to the red hair and musta~ache.*

*You've got to kill,*

*Your confidence in me.*

*In we.*

*You've got to kill,*

*Your confidence for me,*

*To succeed.*

*There's one explanation.*

*Kindly follow along.*

*I'll clarify through a song.*

*Imagine a salesman going from door to door,*

*And killing the owners of unkempt carpet floors.*

*Was he a monster?*

**Cooper (Speaking)**: Yes!

**The Salesman**: *A homicical troll?*

**Cooper (Speaking)**: YES!

**The Salesman**: *Or was he just craving,*

*The thing we call control?*

*You're not Madame Trinkett's*

*Or under parrot reign.*

*This playhouse is my domain!*

**Cooper**: *You think we're yours.*

*You think you're tough.*

*I think we've all had quite enough.*

*I'm gunna get us out of here.*

*I'll never ever quit.*

*I'm sorry that you've had it bad,*

*But you won't move beyond your dad,*

*Living like a maniac,*

*In pools of parrot shit.*

**The Salesman (Speaking)**: Stop!

**The Salesman**: *The basement is great.*

**Cooper**: *You can't come with me.*

**The Salesman**: *The basement's your fate.*

**Cooper**: *You can't come with me.*

*I know a mean comumbly.*

*There's no use to pretend,*

*But I know I can beat you,*

*By calling you my friend.*

**The Salesman (Speaking)**: (Gasp!)

**Gingers**: *Solidarity-darity!*

*It changes everything.*

*Ginger hair, you see-hair, you see.*

*A common anchoring.*

**Cooper**: *Solidarity-darity.*

**The Salesman**: *Looked just like me.*

**Cooper**: *Ginger hair, you see-hair, you see.*

**The Salesman**: *Down to his red hai~hai~hair.*

**Cooper**: *You could call this a friend request.*

**The Salesman**: *I don't believe it.*

**Cooper**: *I am sending an S.O.S.*

**The Salesman**: *I won't recieve it.*

**Cooper**: *We could be good friends. The best!*

**The Salesman**: *You really mean it?*

**Cooper**: *I am sending a friend request.*

**The Salesman**: *I accept!*

**Gingers**: *We've been waiting for it way too long,*

*But now the wait's over and we can go live our lives.*

*So, let's join hands and we can get a move on.*

*There's so much to see. It's a great big world outside.*

## Trivia

* Several previous songs are briefly reprised during this song, such as "Living Life Underground", "He Looked Just Like Me", and "Waiting for it Way Too Long".