Normal Oak

This page contains possibly major spoilers for the events of the podcast. Scroll at your own risk.

## Normally-Ly Swallows-Oak-Garcia

Normal Oak as portrayed in the Season 2 cover art by Alex Moore.

### Aliases

Normal Oak
"Norm"

### Relatives

Hildy Russet
Barry Oak
Henry Oak-Garcia
Lark Oak-Garcia
Sparrow Oak-Garcia
Rebecca Swallows
Hero Oak

### Affiliation

D.A.D.D.I.E.S.
Scary Marlowe
Lincoln Li-Wilson
Taylor Swift
Hermie the Unworthy
"Dood"

## Appearances

### Overview

Normal is the initially, chipper-cheery school mascot kid, now kid who doesn't know who he is anymore.

## Teen Facts

* Ep1: Normal is the school mascot, Teeny the Teen.
* Ep2: He likes any music as long as it's the marching band cover version.
* Ep3: He lives for two things, cheering as Teeny the Teen and bake sales.
* Ep4: He can’t swim. He was also both the kid that Taylor helped save from drowning, and the kid in one of the ‘Spot the drowning kid’ videos that Taylor watched.
* Ep5: He has an older sister called Hero Oak, who is a senior at Video Game High School.
* Ep6: There was a contest to name the new school mascot, and the frontrunner was Demon the San Dimas Demon, the San Demon. People were coming up with ‘Summon the Demon’ chants, and the school administration decided it was getting out of hand, so to prevent blow back, Pepperoni Tony fudged the numbers and Teeny the Teen became the new mascot.
* Ep7: His favorite part of going to school is summer vacation.
* Ep8: He likes Marvel movies. He thinks they’re pretty good, but that they’re a little too long.
* Ep9: He started wearing lifts in order to bring his height from 63.7 inches to 64.6 inches, the average height of a 14 year old boy. He wears his lifts with flip flops. He is also saving up for the surgery to make your legs longer.
* Ep10: His name is not really Normal. His actual full name is ‘Normally Oak-Swallows-Garcia’.
* Ep11: He does his own laundry, but his family has an all in one washer dryer and he has been pressing ‘dry’. He has only been getting his clothes warm.
* Ep12: Ly means you are a descendant of someone from Oakvale, so his full name is Normally-Ly Oak-Swallows-Garcia. (The ordering of his last name will change every episode.)
* Ep13: His best friend is his pen pal from Ecuador, Carlos, who he met on a family trip to Ecuador when he was around 6 years old.
* Ep14: After seeing Taylor and Lincoln get into Laffy Taffys, he felt left out and wanted to impress them by getting a Laffy Taffy joke published, so has been writing in and submitting jokes.
* Ep15: His favorite pizza is pepperoni because it has pep in the name, but because he is vegan he scrapes off the pepperoni and the cheese and just eats the tomato sauce and bread.
* Ep16: His first part-time job was playing the mascot ‘Vinny the Vegan Vulture’ at his mother’s ice cream shop, ‘Swallows Vegan Ice Cream’. However, because it was the height of summer he got heat stroke.
* Ep17: He’s never had a pet. His family doesn’t think the pet can consent to being owned, so they don’t have pets. He has befriended a raccoon that lives outside of the school by stealing lunch meat from the cafeteria. He’s also immune to rabies.
* Ep18: His first kiss was with the Pomona High School Panther. They kissed in their mascot costumes behind the bleachers, so he doesn’t actually know who was in the other costume.
* Ep19: He has Invisalign, but lost them a while ago. His new ones do not fit, so he has been pushing the back of his teeth with his tongue in an attempt to move his teeth enough that his new Invisalign will fit.
* Ep20: He is planning the future of his new mustache. He’s waiting for it to grow a bit more, but might go with a Burt Reynolds ‘Smokey and the Bandit’ look.
* Ep21: The raccoon he befriended outside of the school is not actually a raccoon, it’s a going on dog.
* Ep22: He is not a morning person. He does not become himself until 11 o’clock in the morning.
* Ep23: A week before the season began, he decided that if being a mascot didn’t work out, his backup plan was to set a Guinness World Record for chewing a piece of gum longer than anybody else. This entire time he has had a piece of gum in his mouth.
* Ep24: He gets bad grades in school, he has a 2.5 GPA. He gets C- across the board in all subjects.
* Ep25: His main career goal is to be a mascot, but his backup career is to be a therapist. He thinks being a therapist is like being a mascot but for one person.
* Ep26: When he turns 24, he gets really into Menswear - super vintage ‘why don’t men dress like this anymore?’ style.
* Ep27: He celebrates every instrument in the marching band, except the bass clarinet, because it’s ’just a clarinet trying to be a fucked up saxophone’. However, he thinks the bassoon is one of the most dignified instruments in the orchestra.
* Ep28: He is very into soups, because he believes that soup never goes bad. He will make a big pot of soup, and leave it on the stove for a week.
* Ep29: He is such a fan of Teen High that he is the most published author in the Teen High fanfiction tag on AO3. Most of his stories are about ‘what would happen if the mascots were real and had to go to the schools and were friends with the other mascots?’ His latest saga is the ‘My Immortal’ of Teen High fanfic, and has been left on a pretty big cliffhanger.
* Ep30: He’s still been doing his homework throughout the adventure. He’s not getting good grades on it, but he’s still doing the reading.
* Ep31: Pinterest is his only form of social media, and he follows a lot of guys on pinterest whose thing is about ‘returning to when men looked like K-pop stars’, but the fascism goes straight over his head, and he thinks it’s about old school aesthetics.
* Ep32: He doesn’t get mad, he gets even.
* Ep33: His favorite actress is Holly Hunter, who’s in his favorite TV show Saving Grace. He admires the craft that she brings.
* Ep34: ‘In solidarity with the writers of the Writers Guild of America, I am refusing to cross the teen fact picket line.’ (No fact for Normal this episode).
* Ep35: He has been married before, in his fanfiction. This situation is eerily similar to a ‘fake marriage of convenience AU’ he wrote about the San Dimas mascots where the Chaparral bulldog and Teeny the Teen had to get fake married because the other mascots were trying to steal his will.
* Ep36: The first time he tried drinking, he was 10 years old, and he tried Henry’s bottle of ‘Grandpa Booze’, which is Henry’s home-brewed hard kombucha. He took one sip and was throwing up for a day.
* Ep37: For his 6th birthday, his grandmother Mercedes Oak-Garcia gave him a beautiful diamond encrusted piece of jewelry. He kept it on every day, and recently realized that it was worth exactly 300 gold pieces, and used it to cast revivify on Brad Schmegan.
* Ep38: All of his shoes are Heelys, but he’s too scared to ‘ride the tiger’. He doesn’t know if he’s got what it takes to Heely.
* Ep39: The Oak-Swallows-Garcia household is a strictly ‘shoes on in the house’ house. This goes back to Oakvale, where everyone walked around barefoot outside, so they had to wear shoes in the house to not get their dirty feet on the floors inside.
* Ep40: His favorite cat is Nermal from Garfield, because their names sound similar, and he thinks they’d get along. There was a kid in elementary school who’s name was Norm L, and Normal thought they could be best friends, but got made fun of.
* Ep41: When he was younger, the family had a cat that was pregnant. He thought that, because the cat had 8 nipples, there would be 8 kittens (1 kitten per nipple). Everyone told him that that wasn’t how it worked, but then there were 8 kittens, and he still thinks that’s how it works.
* Ep42: His first venture into the world of business was also his first hobby; selling essential oils. He got his first taste at his mom’s vegan ice cream shop because they used stuff like peppermint extract. He definitely uses way too much and has probably burned out his sinuses.
* Ep43: He doesn’t know anything about the Titanic, because he can never tell the Titanic and the RMS Lusitania apart.
* Ep44: Update on his mustache: He’s been feeding it essential oils for hair growth, and it’s doubled in strand count from 8 to 16. He’s going for a Hercule Poirot look right now.
* Ep45: He is the founder of the school’s yearbook club. It is not the club that makes the yearbook, it’s a book club that meets every month to discuss yearbooks that the school has published. People that turn up usually think it is the club that makes the yearbook.
* Ep46: He ran Ecuador in the school’s model UN and accidentally started World War 3. The night before, he ruined the big football game and caused the team to lose after he botched a handspring and distracted them. During the model UN, the rest of the world declared war on him.
* Ep47: Every morning he does a 1 card tarot reading to see what the energy of the day is. Today he draws The Lovers upside down, which means ‘Quarrels, infidelity, dangers of a broken marriage. Need to stabilize the emotions, possibility of a wrong choice’.
* Ep48: He has no recollection of the small arms training he received when younger, but for some reason he has had fantastic trigger discipline, and has always known the 4 rules of hot glue gun safety.