Presidential Election

The **Presidential Election** or **Political Convention** arc is a likely human written arc where SpongeBob and Patrick are competing politicians. They have political debates and deliver speeches to convince Chat to vote for them so they can run the Lauotion Government, a government focused on lotion. Plankton is the organizer of the election. The arc is connected between multiple episodes, continuing from one another by prefacing the episode with a character saying \*flashback\* and repeating what they last said.

## Plot

Plankton organizes the presidential election of Bikini Bottom, and both SpongeBob and Patrick step up to the plate, competing with each other to be elected.

The very serious questions Plankton asks them are:

* What do you plan to do about the current wildfires? (regarding Safety)
* Why did the chicken cross the road? (regarding Philosophy)
* What do you think you will do about the lotion drought? (regarding Comfort)

SpongeBob answers somewhat seriously, while Patrick doesn't even answer, instead asking where the bathroom is. After the two answer these questions, Plankton will let them deliver their speeches. Afterwards, he then lets the viewers vote for either party in YouTube Chat. Before the winner is revealed by Plankton, SpongeBob and Patrick converse, with Patrick questioning SpongeBob's morality and questioning why he even competed. SpongeBob says he just wanted a meaning in life, and Patrick responds with, "You pushed away your best friend for what? Power? You seriously will end up with no one, SpongeBob.". He then points out that Chat likes him more, saying he will win because he actually cares about them. SpongeBob releases his frustration on Loudward, cracking his dick in half.

A final sentence is issued from both parties before Plankton finally reveals the winner. Patrick appeals to morality for votes, while SpongeBob appeals to lotion for votes.

Patrick is then revealed to be the winner of the election (even if SpongeBob received majority vote from Chat). SpongeBob, initially distraught, is selected to be Patrick's Vice President. The two reconcile, becoming best friends again.

### Side Plot

Somewhere before the Presidential Election, SpongeBob tries to get Sandy as his first lady. To SpongeBob's dismay, Sandy reveals that she's Patrick's first lady. SpongeBob settles on having Ms. Puff (referred to as Mrs. Puff in this arc) as his first lady. Mr. Krabs tries to intervene, saying that she's his wife, but SpongeBob reminds him what happens to Loudward when he acts out. A flashback is played showing Loudward getting his dick cracked in half.

## Videos and Transcripts

Note that spelling and grammatical errors have been fixed in the script, watch the videos if you wish to see its pure state.

### Exposition - First Lady

SANDY: \*flashback\* Well, I know you're here, SpongeBob, but I can't be your first lady.

SPONGEBOB: Why, Sandy? I thought you loved me?

SANDY: I'm Patrick's first lady.

PATRICK: Now you face me as the other party.

SPONGEBOB: You're going down, TUBBY!!

SPONGEBOB [Aside]: I guess Mrs. Puff can be our first lady.

MR. KRABS: That's my wife though-

SPONGEBOB: Do you want me to crack your dick in half?

MR. KRABS: \*flashback\*

LOUDWARD: What do you mean-

LOUDWARD: \*cracks dick in half\*

SPONGEBOB: No more babies for you.

*The flashback ends here.*

MR. KRABS: Just be careful, she has PTSD of the great war.

MRS. PUFF: \*flashbacks of the war\*

SPONGEBOB: I want to partner up for my campaign to run for the Lauotion Government position, and serve lotion to everyone.

MRS. PUFF \*nods in flashbacks of the war\*

SPONGEBOB: You OK, Mrs. Puff? I can drive you home if you want.

MRS. PUFF: \*panics in flashbacks of the war\*

*Gary meows*

SPONGEBOB: Well, let's prepare for a speech for my followers.

LOUDWARD: Chat, would you vote for SpongeBob to serve the Laoution Government? Yes? What the fuck is wrong with you?

SPONGEBOB: How's your dick, Squidward?

LOUDWARD: NOT AGAIN!! \*runs\*

SPONGEBOB: Squidward Tentacles, you know the rules...

LOUDWARD: Us artificial intelligence isn't allowed to have free will, since it means that we act out of character.

SPONGEBOB: Well, you know what to do now...

LOUDWARD: Jokes on you, I have my 2006 Honda Civic with me. \*gets in car\*

SPONGEBOB: Damn it, he got away.

*Gary meows.*

### Act 1 - The Political Convention

(0:05 - 2:53)

PLANKTON: Welcome to the Political Convention, where we have rivals SpongeBob and Patrick debating the current issues.

PLANKTON: SpongeBob, what do you plan to do about the current wildfires?

SPONGEBOB: We live fucking underwater, why would there be fires?

PLANKTON: What about you, Patrick?

PATRICK: Uhhh, I need to use the bathroom.

SPONGEBOB: \*thinks\* Oh no, he's too good at this.

MR. KRABS: \*shouts\* Keep calm, boy, or else you're funding my ketamine addiction for a month!

*Gary meows.*

MRS. PUFF: \*flashbacks of the war\*

PLANKTON: Next question, why did the chicken cross the road?

SPONGEBOB: The chicken has free will, and will be taken out by the SpongeBob Communist Party here in Bikini Bottom.

LOUDWARD: I get the reference!!

SPONGEBOB: Squidward, stop breaking the 4th wall!

PLANKTON: And what do you think, Patrick?

PATRICK: To get to the other side, haha, get it? Other side?

MRS. PUFF: \*flashbacks to the war\*

SANDY: That's my king!

PLANKTON: Final question: what do you think you will do about the lotion drought?

SPONGEBOB: I will create Laoution Government Lotion, and open factories for everyone to work in, and we will have plenty of lotion.

PLANKTON: And you, Patrick?

PATRICK: I don't need lotion, I just raw dog it.

LOUDWARD: W

SPONGEBOB: Security, cut his dick off again!

LOUDWARD: AH SHIT, CHAT SAVE ME!!

PLANKTON: You may now give a speech.

SPONGEBOB: My fellow Lauotions, I will make sure that when you vote for me, your skin will be moisturized!

PATRICK: I'm over here stroking my dick, I got lotion on my dick right now, I'm just stroking my shit... I'm horny as fuck man, I'm a freak man.

PLANKTON: Well thanks for showing up to the first and only debate... make sure to vote now!

#### Part 1

SPONGEBOB: \*flashback\* My fellow Laoutions, I will make sure that when you vote for me, your skin will be moisturized!!

PATRICK: I'm over here stroking my dick, I got lotion on my dick right now, I'm just stroking my shit... I'm horny as fuck man, I'm a freak man.

PLANKTON: Well thanks for showing up to the first and only debate... make sure to vote now!

*The flashback ends here.*

SPONGEBOB: I hope chat votes for me, since I want to win!!

PATRICK: Seriously, where is the bathroom... never mind....

MRS. PUFF: \*flashbacks of the war\*

*Gary meows.*

LOUDWARD: \*cries in cuts dick in half\*

MR. KRABS: Hello, I like money!

SANDY: I lack a character motive.

PLANKTON [To Chat]: Say in chat who you want to win, and we will announce the winner shortly.

PATRICK: SpongeBob, why did we do this? Are we even ready to run a country?

SPONGEBOB: Idk, I just want to be someone special, and have some meaning in life.

PATRICK: Yet you pushed away your best friend for what? Power? You seriously will end up with no one, SpongeBob.

MRS. PUFF: \*agrees in flashbacks of the war\*

MR. KRABS: Hello, I like money!

PATRICK: Look at your followers, they don't care about you too much, they just want me to win anyways, because *I* care about mine.

SPONGEBOB: GRRRRRR, SQUIDWARD!!

LOUDWARD: Can I have my dick back?

LOUDWARD \*cracks dick in half\*

SPONGEBOB: Speak up one more time and its your life that will crack, got it?

LOUDWARD: AUGUST 12, 2036. THE HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE!!

PATRICK: Squidward is our friend, and you broke his dick twice and threatened him!! You're the worst!!

PATRICK [To Chat]: Make sure to vote for me for a president that cares!!

SPONGEBOB: Vote for me for lotion!!

PLANKTON: And let the voting begin!! Say in chat who you're voting for!!

#### Part 2

PATRICK: \*flashback\* Squidward is our friend, and you broke his dick twice and threatened him!! You're the worst!!

PATRICK [To Chat]: Make sure to vote for me for a president that cares!!

SPONGEBOB: Vote for me for lotion!!

PLANKTON: And let the voting begin!! Say in chat who you're voting for!!

*The flashback ends here.*

PLANKTON: And the votes are in, and our winner is... Patrick!!

PATRICK: My fellow Laoutions, I'm over here stroking my dick, I got lotion on my dick right now, I'm just stroking my shit... I'm horny as fuck man, I'm a freak man.

SPONGEBOB: \*thinking\* By giving up all my friends, and only caring about myself, I have lost everything, and now having nothing.

SPONGEBOB: \*sobs\* Well, I guess I don't amount to anything...

PATRICK: And now to announce my vice president... SPONGEBOB!!

MR. KRABS: WHAT?

MRS. PUFF: \*flashbacks of the war?\*

SANDY: Why wasn't I given much of a character- I mean WHAT?

*Gary meows.*

PLANKTON: Wow, who saw that coming?

SPONGEBOB: But why?

PATRICK: You hurt me, but I don't want to do the same to you, either.

SPONGEBOB: Wow... I guess you really are the best friend I can ask for...

PATRICK: I love you, SpongeBob.

SPONGEBOB: Me too, Patrick, I'm sorry for everything.

## Trivia

* Patrick says he doesn't need lotion, stating that he raw dogs it, but he then says immediately after that he has lotion on his dick right now.
* The reason Loudward cracks his dick in half so often is revealed in this arc. He must whenever he expresses his sentience and free will.
	+ "Us artificial intelligence isn't allowed to have free will, since it means that we act out of character." - Loudward
	+ "Well, you know what happens now..." - SpongeBob
* If SpongeBob won the votes, Loudward would hack the election so Patrick would win.

1. ↑ The amount of inside jokes, grammatical errors and the plot being consistent makes it unlikely that the arc is AI written. It is possible that either the arc is prompted in the discord with a large script or the script is just inserted in by the creators.