This American Knife

"**This American Knife**" is the eighth episode of the first season of *The Unexpected Podcast*. It aired on June 1st, 2018. This episode represented a major departure for *The Unexpected Podcast*, eschewing a standard script for a more meta experience regarding podcasts and a direct lampooning of existing intellectual material.

Co-producer Erik Bergstrom formed a script from a line-up of existing podcasts he and producer Andrew Soucek wanted to parody. Soucek and lead actor Zach Marion provided creative direction for Bergstrom, having been more seasoned listeners of the show they were mimicking.

The episode also proved to be the most ambitious in the podcast's short history, featuring its largest cast ever. Zach Marion took on the lead role of Ivan Ife, while Lauren Haven, Aric McKeown, and Sarah Palm all returned for a second time. Bergstrom and Soucek also provided voices for smaller roles in the script.

## Plot

Original Description: *Just two Average American Tales about everyday people, and their knives.*

Ivan Ife is the host of a popular syndicated podcast, *Average American Tales,* put on by WTNY studios. The podcast opens with a segment on terminal patient Sheila, who's trying to pass down her rare knife collection to her pet turtle and coming up against resistance from her town's ordinances. Ife, surprised by the theme of 'knives' (instead of emotional support animals, as he first believed), interrupts the recording to question his producer, Rich. Rich claims the idea came from their intern, Paul, when they needed a quick shift in focus after audio engineer Martin never showed up with the original episode's audio.

After voicing his reservation, Ife continues on with the production by narrating a conversation with a man named Dan, who sold knives for a mysterious corporation. It's insinuated that Dan sold a mystical dagger to a future United States President, possibly giving the candidate the unique powers necessary to win his unlikely bid. Once the segment is over, Ife continues his rant about the show's direction when he's confronted by Paul, the intern. Paul makes the surprising claim that Rich has been killed, and that he's actually the subject of the next segment—a female chef whose real name is Paula.

After being threatened by Paula, who's become scornful of the show for not airing her FundMeNow ads, Ife reluctantly agrees to publicly air an interview with her. Paula's been looking to clear the air after being wrongfully convicted on an assault charge. In the original case, Paula was thought to have attacked a powerful food critic when he gave her salisbury steak a bad review. In the interview with Ife, she claims it was all a misunderstanding, though her wrongful conviction led to her losing her restaurant and reputation. She started her FundMeNow campaign to get her valuable knife collection back that had been seized by the police.

Ife concludes the show after the final interview, but as the tapes keep rolling it's revealed that he and Paula actually staged the entire confrontation in order to boost ratings. Ife even makes a subtle allusion to the fact that his show had been copied by a far more successful act, leading to his desire for performing the stunt. During their celebration, the missing Martin returns after a botched murder attempt by Paula to take vengeance on both Ivan and Paula in with a chainsaw.

## Commercial

A commercial for "Tony's Car Wash" features a man providing all the reasons for bringing in a car for cleaning, including "grime, gunk, and crud" on the windshield and a subtle, possibly personal, desire to land a job after losing a lover to possible infidelity. Like most advertisers in the podcast's commercial's, it a "family-run" business, despite some clear tensions in the specified family.

The company's slogan appears to be "Vroom vroom!"

## Production

Much research went into the writing of "This American Knife". Bergstrom reportedly listened to the source material they were parodying up to 20 times to get the format and cadence down. The National Foundation for the Endowment of Parodying Arts rewarded this commitment by delivering their esteemed "Yankovic" award to Bergstrom at their annual event.

To pull off the parody, however, Bergstrom and Soucek knew they needed more than just a decent script. They auditioned hundreds of local actors for the role of Ivan Ife before realizing they had their talent in-house all along with Zach Marion, who returned to act in his fifth consecutive podcast as Ivan.

The production proved tumultuous at times, with the producers wanting to blend meta elements, traditional story, and parody all in one show. To do this successfully, they knew they'd need their largest cast yet to come in and fill all the roles across 3 segments. They called upon former cast members Lauren Haven, Aric McKeown, and Sarah Palm to carry out this tall task. The coordination of schedules reportedly required up to 10 different recording sessions, which differed substantially from the norm (1 session).

Because the episode was a direct parody, and didn't feature too much original content, artist Dustin Riccio provided minimal adjustments to the source material's recognizable imagery. The main episode image features a man, believed to be host Ivan Ife, holding a knife to his crotch in a familiar landscape, while the alternate artwork took the new logo and replaced the American flag with a knife.

## In-Universe References

"Tony" returns with a vengeance after a one-episode hiatus. The name is featured directly in the opening as a sponsor, "Tony's Magical Foam Mattresses", and in the episode's commercial. It's also used subtly in the studio's name, "WTNY". "Tim" does not appear in a character role for this episode, but is alluded to as the name of a pet turtle in the opening segment.

Another allusion to "Tim", and a callback to a previous commercial, is heard when Ivan mentions Martin's last name as "Timmers" (the same as candidate Tonya Timmers).

Additionally, Rich's last name is revealed to be "Elbert", the same last name as the mayor in "My Mayor is a Monster!"

Though it's not clear where the studio's located, Dongarud's Creek is brought up as a location to where traveling knife salesman Dan had been for his job. It's not clear if he's referring to the creek itself, or an as-of-yet-undisclosed town or village name.

Dan also mentions "mustard" as one of the many other products he's sold during his career.

Intern Paul uses the phrase "If I'm being honest..." when taking credit for the podcast's theme of knives.

Ivan mentions huckleberry pie while concluding the opening segment, mentioning how the subject, Sheila, won't have time to perfect her recipe as she's only got a few more weeks to live.

Ivan uses the "just to recap..." line while attempting to sum up Paula's rationale for getting a segment on *Average American Tales*.

Salisbury steak makes its second appearance after being introduced in the previous episode. It was the meal Paula was criticized for by a well-known critic, despite it being the dish that made her famous.

The item "grape jelly" is referred to by Ivan at the end of the episode, mentioning how Martin spilled it on a nearby table on which Paula wanted to consummate their success. The item is believed to be a nod to a future episode Soucek had been working, "What's Eating Gilbert's Grapes? It's Probably a Mummy".

## Memorable Quotes

*"I’m not too afraid of death. I’ve had a long, fulfilling life, working at Tony’s Magical Foam Mattresses to finance my knife collection. I don’t want to be kept alive as a vegetable or anything. I just want to make sure my knives stay in the family."* - Sheila

*"From WTNY this is Average American Tales, I’m Ivan Ife. Each week we bring you stories organized around a single thought. This week, that thought is...Knives?"* - Ivan Ife

*"We’re supposed to be telling inspiring bullshit stories the average dumbass American can relate to. And quite honestly, I don’t think a lot of people have emotional attachments to their sonuvabitchin’ knives."* - Ivan

*"Oh, well then, excuse me, I’m just an multi-award-winning radio host, but you, you’re the almighty Paul… well I don’t give a doll’s shit who you are, I don’t need you sharpening your actual knives while I’m trying to record!"* - Ivan

*"It was really odd how they went about it. I’ve had guys see me do well in sales before and try to get me in on their new, big opportunity. I’ve done it in a few industries; sports card memorabilia, mustard, even mobile homes."* - Dan

*"Oh, Ivan! You were so good! Ratings are gonna go through the roof! People love stories about wrongfully convicted people being exonerated for crimes they didn’t commit."* - Paula

*"I can’t wait to stick it to that lame NPR show that ripped off our concept...and that host who stole my schtick!"* - Ivan

*"Oh Ivan, I don’t want to wait ‘til we get home to make love. Do me right here, right now on this table."* - Paula

*"That last show was a real cut-up, Ivan! But next time you wanna kill me, don’t send a knife...to do a chainsaw’s job!"* - Martin