Cosmo/Quotes

**Character**
**Trivia**
**Appearances**
**Images**
Quotes

*[booming]* "I DON'T WANT BURRITOS!!! THEY MAKE ME GASSYYY!!!!!"

"Look at me! I'm cheese!"

"Phillip!"

"What's wrong with being naked in public?"

**Timmy**: A world without girls! (*farts)* I'm free!
**Cosmo**: (*sniffs the air)* Wow! Freedom stinks.

"And the coat of topsoil makes it crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside!"

"'We can refer to anything, we three, we the people, and my favorite - wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Now it's 9:05 on the east coast!"

[*After Wanda says "pudding"]* "She said 'pu' and then 'ding'!" *[laughs hysterically]*

[*right after Vicky cries for help*] "Sorry, the secret word was "pie"." [*throws pie in Vicky's face*]

[After blowing up Fairy World]"Uh, Binky did it! TO THE ESCAPE POD!!!"

"Ah...good times, good times..."

"And corn is niiiiice..."

"A nickel! Mine!"

"I hope he wishes for pudding!"

"Aaah! That book is terrifying, there are words in it!"

"Oh, Timmy, Timmy, Timmy! What about *my* needs!?"

"I regret nothing!"

"There's still enough pretty color left for one of us to slide down the magical rainbow bridge! Wow! There wasn't a single manly word in that sentence!"

[*to Wanda*] "Do you mind?! Your disembodied head is nag nag nagging next to my severed ear!"

"Ha! I'm licking the popcorn so I don't have to share it!"

"I hated being a robot. I had no free will, I had to follow orders all the time, it was like being married all over again!! Except with more toast."

"So much clogging!!!"

"Either that or he wanted a banana."

"Or my favorite: WHEE!"

"I like monkeys!" (head flattens)

"Whoo Whoo Baby! Whoo Whoo!"

"Let's do the nag! You nag it to the left! You nag to the right! Come on everybody let's Nag tonight! I'm a livin' doll!"

"Ducky!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PUDDING!! HAHAHAHA

"Wanda! You have some explain' to do!

"Uh... Babbaloo?"

"A hug would be nice!!"

"I thought she loved Timmy. Why did she  eat him?"

"Ah, the great outdoors, and no wife! Ooh yeah, I'm gonna swing, daddy-o! I'm gonna call on my old friends! *(leafing through book)* Let's see, Wanda, Wanda with a little star next to it, Panda, no that's Wanda with a smudge on the 'W'. I... I... (*crying)* I miss Wanda!"

"You always were great with dessert!"

"Well, she's not perfect, but she is the one who said yes."

"I slaved over a hot wand for this?

"I'm not bright, big words confuse me, I have the attention span of a rodent, and Wanda loves me anyway! She makes me happy, and that should be enough for you!"

**Cosmo**: If I could just light these candles, we could eat!
**Wanda**: Did it ever occur to you we're in a fishbowl filled with water?
**Cosmo**: That's why I'm trying to light these candles. Somebody's got to dry up all this wet food!

**Wanda**: We don't want to be her godparents! She's mean!
**Cosmo**: Yeah, we like Timmy better! His hat is pink!

"Yippie! That ouched!"

"Snowball!"

"A magic wand in the wrong hands could mean total disaster... and Vicky's hands are the worst hands around!"

"It's time for me to use the most powerful magical weapon in my arsenal: Me!"

"Must, resist, stupidity urge!"

**Wanda**: I've made reservations at Chez Fairee, the best restaurant in Fairy World.
**Cosmo**: Ohhh, then I'd better learn how to use the soup spoon properly! (*hits himself with it)* Ow ow ow!

**Cosmo**: We're dining in the bathroom? Then I'd better learn how to use toilet paper. (*again hits himself with it)* Ow ow ow!
**Wanda**: Well a nice quiet dinner with my man does sound kind of nice.
**Cosmo**: Man? What man? Does your man know how to use toilet paper like me? (*hits himself in the face with the toilet paper again)* Ow ow ow!

**Wanda**: Cosmo, what are you doing in the vaccum cleaner?"
**Cosmo**: "Duh. Vaccuming."

"We're two halves of a whole idiot!"

"Wow, the Acursed One. I haven't heard that name in a while."

"We're *The Morons*! Check it out, I even made matching outfits!"

"Poof, daddy's home, and I brought some leftovers!" (*hits self with it)* ow ow ow!

(*Floating With You*)
**Cosmo**: I saw her and no other.
I still lived with my mother
When I spotted her swirly pink hair
Though my shoes smell like tar pits
And I don't wash my armpits
I like monkeys too much,
But I know she doesn't care.
And I know that I'm forgetful.
I know I'm dim.
And even though I've just eaten.
I know I'll swim.
I know that it doesn't matter,
If I can't count to two.
As long as I'm floating With you.

"No way, man! I'm swimming in a real toilet and I like it!"
**Cosmo andWanda**: Yay toilets!

"Super Toilet! So much clogging . . ."

"You bet. I'm swimming in my own toilet, (*farts)* and I like it!"

**Cosmo**: Psst. Timmy.
**Timmy**: What is it?
**Wanda**: We got good news and bad news.
**Timmy**: What's the good news?
**Cosmo**: The alien we got is actually a prince from the dreaded war planet Yugopotamia.
**Wanda**: And his parents are on their way to destroy the earth and rescue their son.
**Timmy**: What's the bad news?
**Wanda**: Oh wait, that was the bad news.
**Timmy**: Then what's *the good news*?
**Cosmo**: I found a nickel!

**Cosmo**: The good news is I named my nickel Philip.
**King Grippulon**: What's the bad news?
**Cosmo**: It's a girl nickel.

**Wanda**: (*hosting a quiz show)* What flammable--
**Cosmo**: (*presses buzzer)* Pudding!

"Ooo, look at his face, look at his face! He's got that I'm-going-to-make-a-really-freaky-wish look!"

"Hey, Timmy's a good kisser! G-o-o-o-o, Timmy!"

**Wanda**: Hey, Cosmo?
**Cosmo**: Yes, my love?
**Wanda**: Do you ever feel like your life is already planned out? Like, someone else is in control of your destiny?
**Cosmo**: I always thought YOU were in control of my destiny!

"Hey, you're right, lollypop! I told you I'd love you until the end of time, and I still do!"

"Meat!? Why did it have to be meat?"

**Timmy**: Do you *have* to go [to Hawaii for your second honeymoon]?
**Wanda**: Yes, sweetie. After all, it has been 9,895 years since Cosmo and I tied the knot.
**Cosmo**: Feels just like 4,489 years ago.

"I may not have your muscles, hairstyle, good looks, or singing voice, but Wanda loves me anyway!"

"Dear diary, I fear the hunt!"

"Gah! Heights give me the queasies!"

**Cosmo**: Isn't that how we met, Wanda? I was about to jump into a vat of sharp spikes and asparagus rather than admit I lied to you?
**Wanda**: No, but ain't love grand?

"Save Vicky?! Timmy would never say that! What year is this and what kind of twisted future are we in?!!!"

**Cosmo**: Hey, you are pretty good at this.
**Wanda**: It's for three-year-olds!

"Are you gonna finish your *wand*?"

**Wanda**: Um, Timmy, What are you doing before noon on a Saturday?
**Cosmo**: Ah! He most not be the real Timmy! Imposer!

"Oooooo, I love scuba driving!"

"Yay, rabies!"

"Don't forget the rabies! Everything tastes better with rabies!"

**Wanda**: It could be worse, sweetie!
**Cosmo**: Yeah! At least your parents aren't going away for the weekend and leaving your evil babysitter Vicky in charge!
**Vicky**: Surprise, twerp! Your parents are going away for the weekend and left me in charge!
**Wanda**: You gotta stop saying things like that!
**Cosmo**: It is my gift; it is my curse!

"Can we skip to Juliet's funeral?"

**Timmy**: This is a piece of cake. All I do is to find shapes, and I found them immediately!
**Cosmo**: And that is a piece of cake! Oh wait, it's just a barber.

"Word!"

"What?! What's the matter with you?! How could you say that?! I thought you loved me! What horrible future is this?!!!"

"What is this brain you speak of?"

"Well I'm a boob, and Wanda trapped me into marriage..."

**Wanda:** There are four basic elements: earth, air, fire, and--
**Cosmo:** JELLY BEANS!

**Wanda:** Don't we always have the best times?
**Cosmo:** I can't tell time!

"Good evening, everyone. We're your perfectly normal not-magic-fairy human waiters with unbelievably super-hairy legs and underarms!"

"String!!"

**Wanda:** Now Timmy, this is a lot more serious than one of your video games. We've lost our powers because of this Syndicate and we won't be able to do anything until they're stopped.
**Cosmo:** Yeah, Timmy! Right now, this wand is just a glorified backscratcher!

(Whispering)"Timmy, go to the pier!!"

"To the right! To the left! Everything you own in a box to the left!

**Wanda**: Cosmo, we gotta stop her before she breaks up our family!
**Cosmo**: For once, I agree with your shrill, commanding and authoritative voice! *[Wanda glares at him]* I mean, I love you!

"Timmy was not in the center of Earth but I'll keep searching!"

**Cosmo**: Hey Timmy, let's do something really, really fun!
**Wanda**: Yeah! Super fun!
**Cosmo**: Like shave Crocker, turn your dad into a woman, turn Wanda into a woman... *[Wanda glares at him]* I mean, you're the wind beneath my wings!

**Timmy**: What are you guys doing? And what have you done to yourselves?
**Cosmo**: We're waiters! 'Course, it's just a stepping stone on our path to becoming actors. STELLA!!

"Oh no! She played the smoothie card - Timmy's one weakness! Mine is lint."

"I hate change! That's why I only change my underwear every 3,000 years."

**Tootie**: What is this place?
**Cosmo**: A prison of unspeakable horror!

**Cosmo**: Don't forget to feed the dog!
**Wanda**: Cosmo, he doesn't have a dog!
**Cosmo**: Well, if you get one, don't forget to feeeeeeeed it!

"He is *soooo* smooth."

**Wanda**: Timmy! We've missed you!
**Cosmo**: Yeah, without you around, all we do is sit around and talk about our feelings...
**Wanda**: *[glaring at him]* Hmm?
**Cosmo**: Not that there's anything wrong with that! *[hugs Wanda]* I love you!

**Wanda**: Isn't this great, Cosmo? After all these years, they finally ended up together!
**Cosmo**: I give 'em two weeks, tops!

**Tootie**: Well, awesome! So that means we could bring water to the Sahara and close the hole in the o-zone layer and help helpless creatures?
**Cosmo**: Not only that, we've got cup holders, baby!
Tootie: Fancy!

*[While in Jorgen's grip]* And right now,he's doing the *Von Strangling* part!

**Timmy:** "Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"
**Cosmo:** "Hey, it's okay. You had a good life, right?"
**Timmy:** "I'm only 10!"
**Cosmo** "I said good, not long."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Little Cosmo has left the building!"

**Wanda** *[about Timmy in Doidle's body]* "Timmy sure does sound excited; what is he saying?"
**Cosmo** "I don't know I don't speak dog."

(To Timmy about wishing for Christmas to be everyday) "Wow that sure was one big wish you made there sport."

"Curse you, round hole!"

"Yes, and that's our job!"

"Hey, Timmy! Say 'chimichanga!'"

"And I, unfortunately, will *not* be going, because I'm extremely allergic to danger!"

"Uh-oh, we gonna need a LOT of crossword puzzles!"

**Wanda:** "He said 'Chocolate **Shake**,' not 'Chocolate **Snake!' "**
**Cosmo:** "I gonna get this thing fixed"

Oh look, a new problem! Sparky has fleas! Right on, man!

Ooh, dark in here. Ironic for a lamp

"Done," Grant said, waffle-y.

Magic, oh, magic, oh!

I'll call dibs on Wanda's [hot dogs] then!

I am Cosmo Khan!

999,999! 1,000,000 1,000,000! Whew!

Not the face, I'm a celebrity! (bears attack him) Not the [salmon] costume, it's rented!

Dry, stupid paint, DRY! (kicks wall, which collapses on him)

I can't wait to have intelligent conversations with him! Of course I have to get intelligent first.

Gah! (Poofs up chalkboard) It's like fingernails on a chalkboard! (Throws board out the window, hitting Mr. Turner)

"This lava's cooking us to medium-rare!"

"He's a little hyper tonight. I probably shouldn't have let him polish off the leftover Halloween candy."

"And that truant officer with a voice like a shallow grave. What was his name again, Deadlyditch? Three-Feet-Under?"

"Shiny object, must follow!"

"Oh, no! It's me! *I'm* the idiot?!"
*Character Guide*
**Cosmo**