LBP

## General Overview

LBP (short for Læþ’uæn’yn Bœr’drr Po’læs) is an M'ha'oth and the founder of LBP Shipping Co. and eventually the IDTU. He is also indirectly responsible for the creation of the ***EE***pole (and the ***E***spidr***E***s) and for bringing the Contagious Centipedes into Dimension R, Timeline 17.34, the former being due to him planting ***E*** plants on Planet i̴̱͊̌̒̎̃/̸̙̝͖͔̬̯͕̥͗̑-̷̳̖̰̱͕̼̞̣͚̎̊̍͂̆͋̑͘͝ͅ=̴̧̧͚͕̹͇͕̞̩͈͈̗̮̺̗͂̀͘;̷̨̭̜̞̬̖̊̋'̷̦̟̮̼͂̄͛̄͂., which were introduced to Hydrophosphate Omnichloride via an asteroid, and the latter being due to him experimenting with interdimensional portal technology, though this did also result in Guritchi having dimensional vertigo for two days afterwards. Despite his appearance, LBP is actually several hundred octillion years old.

## Appearance

LBP, being an M'ha'oth, has beige fur on his head typical of an adolescent M'ha'oth. Below his neck is his most defining feature, the robotic chassis that encompasses his torso, legs, and arms. LBP used to have physical arms, but they have since been replaced by a form of constantly active telekinesis that either does not drain his stamina or drains it so little it is negligible. This was due to a Persimmon inadvertently fusing him with Mr. PIC Ardia using the Octahedron of Fusion. The carapace appears somewhat skeletal in appearance, with rib-like radiators emerging from the upper torso to keep the generator cool. He also wears sunglasses to prevent the glow from his eyes from being irritating to those tall enough to look him in the eye.

## Personality

LBP has a somewhat whimsical personality, spending thousands of Shongledingles and several hundred tons of resources on massive war machines almost entirely because he felt like it. Due to this, he is typically extremely informal, only speaking formally when he wants to "sound cool." He signs all official IDTU documents with LBP instead of his actual name, though this can be excused by the M'ha'oth scripture being unintelligible to most beings reading it and the fact that barely anyone knows he has a name other than LBP. He also allows projects to be given extremely bizarre code names, such as when Teus'arak Mirun'krunnar were in development, they were officially known as "Big Boys."

LBP is also somewhat of a sociopath, not hesitating to either order his robots to essentially destroy thousands of planets for the sake of waste disposal (prior to the IDTU's formation, this was the only way to effectively get rid of waste as incinerators capable of not detonating the incredibly unstable substances LBP Shipping Co. had access to were not able to be developed) or murdering mass amounts of denizens of a planet to allow for a factory in their place. Despite this, he does not actively wish to have to do these things, only doing so when it is the easiest (or only) way out of a problem. The only exception to this is when it comes to murdering Persimmons, who he will gladly slaughter with his own hands.

## History

### Genesis

LBP was born when the M'ha'oth decided to perform an experiment in which they moved several galaxies close together and Shkorgled them all at once. What resulted was all the resultant larvae fusing into one. In a stroke of sheer, dumb luck the sheer magnitude of which has not been seen since, every single M'ha'oth that was created would have been roughly a hundred times more capable than a normal M'ha'oth. As a result, LBP is several hundred thousand times the capability of the average M'ha'oth. He is also one of the few M'ha'oth capable of entering what they refer to as their "true form" after having the ability stimulated by the Rhomboicosidodecahedron of unimaginable power.

### Early life

LBP served as a warrior for the M'ha'oth for several million years, hundreds of thousands of times longer than any M'ha'oth had lived previously. To outside observers, he had simply ceased to age after he reached adolescence. Eventually he was told that he could choose to leave his duties and travel his own path (something that had never been done before and has not been done since) or he could continue to serve. LBP decided to leave, and promptly wandered through Galaxy α̴̛̣̣̉͜͡¦̛̣t̉̉ɔ҈̴҈҉̴҈̵̵̷͠҉̶̶̨҈, wondering what to do with his life. He eventually found work as a mercenary, but eventually quit when five times out of ten he would accidentally destroy the planet he was on in the process of accomplishing his tasks due to his immense power.

After he quit mercenary work, he traveled to an obscure world and took up ***E*** plant farming. At first, he was a novice who did not know how to grow the plants effectively. However, the local community was supportive of his efforts and shared with him their wisdom. As LBP's ***E*** plant farming knowledge grew, he eventually outlived his mentors and grew to become the single best ***E*** plant farmer in the galaxy, perhaps even the dimension. He shared his wisdom with the younger farmers, just as his teachers had done for him. Under his guidance, the planet of ***E***ia, named for its perfect ***E***-growing conditions, rose to become an incredibly rich planet by selling ***E*** fruit to the nearby systems.

However, LBP's fortunes did not last, as after 300 years of turning ***E***ia into an economic powerhouse, he had his first encounter with the Orange Malfeasance. They descended from the skies like fallen angels and wrought their unspeakable havoc upon the unaware citizens of the planet. As LBP bore witness to this unspoken heinousness, he realized his true calling. He realized that fate had brought about his creation for one purpose and one purpose only: the utter destruction of all Persimmonkind. As this epiphany surfaced in LBP's mind, he dropped his shovel and tore apart the invading Persimmons with his bare hands. As repairs began, he conferred with the other leaders of the planet, convincing them that the planet of ***E***ia, and the whole of the Surreality, needed a force to defend it from the Scourge. This was the genesis of P.E.R.S.I.M.M.O.N.'T.

### Founding P.E.R.S.I.M.M.O.N.'T.

P.E.R.S.I.M.M.O.N.'T. (Persimmon Evisceration and Subjugation Incorporating Many Methods Over Negligible Times) was the subject of LBP's almost undivided attention, and some of his worst acronym ideas. It recruited its members from the systems surrounding ***E***ia as well as the planet itself. Robots served a very minor role in the organization at first, being used exclusively for construction. Organic beings were used as soldiers, propaganda artists, and most other roles, with LBP serving as the designer for the arms and armor.

As P.E.R.S.I.M.M.O.N.'T. grew, the need for robotic labor grew with it. Robots occupied more and more jobs, until there was only room for organic creatures in the military. The first robotic soldier, the PO-01, was essentially just a walking tank designed to spew out as much firepower as possible to support the infantry. It was 10 feet tall, covered in a plethora of pulse-bolt guns, coronal flamethrowers, heavy armor, and pulse-laser emitters, and fitted with a voicebox to allow it to espouse battle cries and general anti-Persimmon jargon. Due to the long periods of time needed to produce it, the PO-01 was only used to supplement infantry soldiers.

Eventually a robotic infantry soldier was developed, the PE-01. It was 6 feet tall and equipped with a pulse-bolt gun on its right forearm. Its armor could resist Persimmon infantry weapons, and it was much faster than the PO-01. Even though it was much easier and cheaper to produce than the PO-01, it was still not readily available enough to replace organic soldiers, and thus was also used to supplement them.

### The First P.E.R.S.I.M.M.O.N.'T. Crusade

Eventually, as P.E.R.S.I.M.M.O.N.'T. grew in relevance, the hatred for the Scourge began to boil over in a tempestuous stew of raucous and virulent hatred. LBP then announced that P.E.R.S.I.M.M.O.N.'T. reconnaissance teams had found the fabled location known only as the Relay, where dimensional borders were weak enough for the Persimmons to cross through. Several P.E.R.S.I.M.M.O.N.'T. fleets were sent to the area, as well as LBP himself in his flagship, the *Bane of the Malfeasance.*

As the fleets reached the Relay, they began to open fire upon the Persimmons, who were not anticipating the attack. They fled back to their home, not realizing that this was all part of LBP's master plan. The fleets followed the Malfeasant Ones into the hellish Persimmon dominion, where they wrought unspoken violence unto Persimmonkind, almost entirely wiping out two of the Persimmons' Exalted Pillars. However, the crusaders were eventually overrun and forced to return to Dimension R.

### Post-First Crusade

After the First P.E.R.S.I.M.M.O.N.'T. Crusade, colloquially known simply as the First Crusade, the population of P.E.R.S.I.M.M.O.N.'T. territory was happy with the outcome of the Crusade. Many had expected it to end in the destruction of the crusading force. To prepare for a second strike against the Malfeasance, LBP accelerated new weapons and robot development. As a result, the PO-02 and PE-02 were created.

The PO-02 was in essence a bigger version of the PO-01. It stood fifteen feet tall and was fitted with a myriad of coronal flamethrowers, pulse-bolt Gatling cannons, and spatiotemporal disruptors. It was also given superior voice equipment, allowing it to speak louder and more smoothly. Its armor was improved and fitted with a repulsor system to deflect incoming fire. Its limbs were fitted with improved motors to facilitate much faster movement. The PO-02 was more nimble and agile than the average soldier due to these modifications.

The PE-02 was, similarly to the PO-02, simply a direct upgrade to its predecessor with no change in purpose or intended role. It stood at roughly the same height as the PE-01, but had some changes to its armament. Its forearm-mounted pulse-bolt gun was replaced with a miniaturized pulse-bolt Gatling cannon, mounted below the pinky finger. Like the PO-02, it was also fitted with improved motors. This made it far superior to any organic soldier in agility. It was fitted with a repulsor-pack on its back that allowed it to jump incredible heights. It was also fitted with repulsors in its feet to allow it to run and jump faster.