Anton Kord

Anton Kord is the source of all Dark Matter

### Relatives

Rufus Kord (Non-Canon), Allay Twineflinger, Tirrius Warren, You, Hyperion I to VII, Lord Sterling VIII and IX, Tar'Djin Ful'Korne and Master Chief.

## Physical description

### Eye color

Blue

> "*He probably needs to go pray or something*" -Gothenheimr's DM, making a lame excuse.
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> *"I swear to God he's not even fair"* -Any intelligent person.
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WARNING: This article is MEME Content. The real Anton Kord page is listed under Saint Kord.

**Anton Kord** was the most powerful, interesting, intelligent, wise and attractive person in all of Gothenheimr. He was in all senses of the word, a Mary Sue. Godspeed Anton you overpowered nightmare, go and dominate Cerrellus CCG now that Gothenheimr has been subjected to exterminatus.

## History

Anton Kord strolled out of the ocean fully formed two years before the first session of Gothenheimr. In the next two years, he amassed a large collection of wooden buckets and also built a gargantuan obsidian pyramid dedicated to Dorigun, who would later become his patron god.

He once dreamt of having a dog named Spot, and that next morning he awoke to find that all dogs in Gothenheimr had turned into wooden buckets.

## A Warning

If you see Anton Kord, he will begin to generate a powerful aura. You will become compelled to vote for Vladimir Lenin in the next election, most likely by write in. This is a ruse, as in fact Lenin is busy fighting space demons on Venus and is unable to hold office. If he wins an election, Anton Kord will absorb the country.

DO NOT ALLOW KORD TO ABSORB ANY MORE THAN 1/4 OF THE WORLD OR HE WILL BECOME LARGER.

## Cool Anton Kord Facts (REAL!) (NUMBER 4 WILL SHOCK YOU!)

* Anton Kord once bench pressed a tavern.
* Anton Kord never uses ranged weaponry, instead opting to stride towards his enemies menacingly. He once strode towards a fleeing sniper for 3 weeks straight before the sniper collapsed and Kord was able to remove his spine with the spoon he'd been carrying.
* Anton Kord is the 8th Hyperion Soldier.
* Anton Kord has many wooden buckets.
* Anton Kord once met Gorbo, and absolved him of his sins so hard that Gorbo is currently allowed to murder 20 more children before his karma becomes negative.
* Anton Kord single-handedly won the Second Battle of Hoover Dam.
* Anton Kord has a brother named Rufus who hates him.
* Anton Kord hates his brother Rufus.
* Anton Kord is your father,
* Anton Kord has many wooden buckets.
* Anton Kord once threw a grenade at his enemies, but he missed and didn't kill any. Then it exploded, also not killing anyone. He then murdered them all with a wooden bucket.
* Anton Kord wields a glowing golden greatsword called 'Lightbringer.' He prefers to use cutlery and buckets in combat.
* Anton Kord taught Elton John how to drive a car.
* Anton Kord caused the fall of Cerrellan Capital.
* Anton Kord caused the collapse of the Soviet Union.
* Anton Kord's blood holds the cure to COVID-19, but unfortunately it also causes malaria.
* Anton Kord caused the African War when he accidentally invaded Egypt via a dimensional gateway.
* Anton Kord has many wooden buckets.
* Anton Kord is the father of Allay Twineflinger. The mother is currently unknown, but is rumored to be Braeli Mearlshine.
* Anton Kord has a Black Hole in his bedroom. Its name is Tomas, and they are good friends.
* Anton Kord wants you to have consistent D&D Games.
* Anton Kord is literally Cerrellus.
* Anton Kord once had an affair with Bill Clinton during his tenure in the White House. They had a son who later became known as Dr T. Hanos.
* Anton Kord once built a nuke at home using rubber bands.
* Anton Kord is the Godfather to Master Chief. Do not ever mention Master Chef to Anton Kord, as Master Chef is the sworn enemy of Master Chief. Anton Kord is protective of his Godson.
* Anton Kord is the Heat Death of the Universe.
* Anton Kord was the first human being to bear the right genetics to drink milk.
* Anton Kord once bested Kodaro Neisho in an arm wrestle, which is rumored to be the cause of XCOM D&D's cancellation.
* Anton Kord's Stand is a drunken Zenera Riverwatch whose special power is not dying.
* Anton Kord actually plays you in Earth D&D, and he is currently setting up the endgame content. The DM of this game is Hank Longcross.
* Anton Kord is the chosen one of the force in Star Wars.
* Anton Kord has many wooden buckets.
* Anton Kord is actually a mirage.
* Anton Kord was one of the lead developers for Monkey Mischief: Party Time, a 2008 game on the Nintendo Wii.
* Anton Kord is Lord Sterling VII.
* Anton Kord is a major shareholder in the Warmsmile Taverns.
* Anton Kord built Ubbin out of wooden buckets, and created the halfing race in the image of his divine savior, Yalla.
* Anton Kord currently attends University, and is doing a Bachelor of Engineering specializing in Mechatronics Engineering.
* Anton Kord hates technology, especially anything related to Mechatronics.
* Anton Kord has physical power beyond calculation. He once seriously flexed his muscles while surrounded by cultists of Thureen, and everything within a 500km radius was atomized.
* Anton Kord cannot count past 20, but can calculate bullet projectile trajectories through a tornado under an intense magnetic field while there is a powerful black hole within 50 Light Years of the location.
* Anton Kord has the power to eliminate the middle class.
* Anton Kord created the Druid, Sorcerer and Defender Classes once while blackout drunk on orange juice.
* Anton Kord created diabetes.
* Anton Kord is immune to the effects of alcohol, but he likes to drink methylated spirits for the taste.
* Anton Kord is the father of Tirrius Warren.
* Anton Kord donated his silverware collection to Spoons.
* Anton Kord is the cause of Kromus Selenus' prophetic dreams.
* Anton Kord is the reason you are big big dumb.
* Anton Kord has seen the face of God, in the mirror of course.
* Anton Kord has an unrequited crush on Gillyrd Tav'Arj.
* Anton Kord once outdrank Victor Dorne and Zenera Riverwatch, and used their ritual to summon The Beatles into Cerrellus.
* Anton Kord once had intimate relations with Barack Obama's evil clone Oarack Bbama. Their son is named Tar'Djin Ful'Korne.
* Anton Kord has many wooden buckets.
* **You are Anton Kord.**
* Anton Kord designed the Playstation 5.
* Anton Kord knows Joe Biden's last name.
* Anton Kord imagined the Triumvirate, they were never real.
* Anton Kord was granted the N-Word Pass by Marcus, but he has sworn to never use the power.
* Anton Kord can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
* Anton Kord invented Namaranth.
* Anton Kord once swam through corn syrup on a dare from his asshole brother Rufus.
* Anton Kord once beat Thanos at a game of golf.
* Anton Kord is the fifth member of Big Time Rush.
* Anton Kord can do a two-wheeler on a unicycle.
* Anton Kord is the last Aboleth.
* Anton Kord is the largest shareholder in the Umbrella Pharmaceutical Corporation.
* Anton Kord battled the Space Yakuza upon the broken shores of Ragnvaldion.
* Anton Kord caused Ouch Man to join a theatre group.
* Anton Kord has a horse named Ronald. ***DO NOT LOOK AT RONALD.***
* Anton Kord has destroyed many gearboxes.
* Anton Kord is not free on Sundays.
* Anton Kord caused Richard Hammond's Rimac crash.
* Anton Kord caused the 2008 Financial Crisis.
* Anton Kord runs a Pyramid Scheme. You are currently involved within it.
* Anton Kord was the reason the DC Film Franchise failed.
* Anton Kord caused the Horus Heresy.
* Anton Kord is behind you.
* Anton Kord cancelled Gothenheimr by writing in to the production studio with a complaint about lack of hot dinners after a long filming session. He also attacked a producer with a wooden bucket.
* Anton Kord has just increased your GPA by 2 points.
* Anton Kord is working on a cure for diabetes, his only mistake. Well, his marriage to Bill Clinton was probably a mistake too, but Anton Kord will always look back fondly on his time with Bill.
* Anton Kord loves you.
* Anton Kord most likely wrote this page from beyond the fourth wall.
* Anton Kord is your grandfather as well.
* Anton Kord is the fifth member of The Beatles.
* Anton Kord's appearance was once copied by a magic user, said user woke up 30 hours later, absolutely drunk, surrounded by bodies and completely naked, except for a wooden bucket.
* Anton Kord's asshole brother Rufus was killed when some individual threw a bagel at him. Anton Kord knows not the killer, but is eternally grateful towards them.
* Anton Kord heard that he had been made non-canon, he proceeded to beat the shit out of the DM until he was finally reinstated as canon.
* Anton Kord is the patron saint of oxidised iron.
* Anton Kord once saved Astolfo from a horde of night creatures.
* Anton Kord could've beaten the snake cult in 'The Sprite Who Loved Me' single-handedly, but he was busy playing Super Smash Bros at his friend Duiavern's house.
* **Anton Kord is imminent.**