1.3: We Blow Up Another Place

**In Which Debauchery Ensues**

 The day begins inside the
strange, hidden village that we have found behind the false ruins. We have
accomplished many deeds during the nighttime hours: Grukk “picks up a barmaid”
and she steals his coin after sleeping together; Baygrith charges his stuff “because
dude this takes like an hour” and also sleeps with a lady; Travize assists
farmers and tries to convert that naked lady we found who used to be a tree;
Sal plays with children like a Disney princess; Timmeron also helps the farmers
by magicky means and stays with them; Perlapae stays with the lumberjack she healed
and he cops a feel; and Sajaina…she flirts with disaster by stealing an ancient
crown in the keep.

            Somehow, Sajaina sweet talks Timmeron into sneaking into the keep with her by climbing
in through the window, baiting him with “nighttime revelry” and her sultry
eyes. As they traipse through the night, it is obvious to Timmeron that a
magical fog surrounds them strangely, and they try to sneak up to the keep, but
he bungles it pretty hard and the whole ground lights up like a freakin’
beacon. Sajaina totally lets him get caught – the perfect distraction – and steals
into the keep.

Timmeron ropes Sal and Travize into this mess as he makes attempt number two to get into this
keep after Sajaina. The two agree because they want to make sure she’s safe.
Meanwhile, Perlapae is told in a dream by Viti to acquiesce to the next favor
that someone who is not an enemy asks of her. Baygrith’s torch wakes him up and
a mysterious person who calls himself Mercury talks to him in code, warning him
that “they’re coming” for him, and calls him Bizmith. This prompts Baygrith to
hide in a corn field.

Sal, Travize, and Timmeron enter the keep to help Sajaina. Sajaina, not knowing it is her
companions, hides in the shadows until Mouse Travize is adorable. She is so
glad to see them that she gives Timmeron a kiss on the cheek. As they descend
into the keep, they realize not all is what it seems and that a strange magic
lurks deep within.

**Grukk starts a fist fight.**

Perlapae has a
horrifying prophetic dream that Grukk gets stabbed and dies, waking her. She
sneaks out of her host’s house and finds Grukk, chastising him for fighting,
but secretly glad to see he’s safe. Together, they find Baygrith. Between
Baygrith ranting about Mercury and paranoia, and making popcorn, and Perlapae
insisting her dream was a message for Viti, Grukk gets exasperated and decides
to reunite the group, motivated by the desire to sleep. They devise to go to
the keep, as it is the safest. Grukk is not a subtle creature and starts a
brawl rather than stealthing his way inside. The brawl obviously is not going
well, as he is one and they are many, so Perlapae uses magic – which goes *way* out of control – and traps all the
guards inside an earthen cage. When Grukk and Baygrith are inside the keep,
Perlapae is satisfied that they are as safe as possible and decides to go find
the others. Grukk and Baygrith descend deep into the keep, unknowingly
following the footsteps of Sajaina, Travize, Sal, and Timmeron.

**Motherfucking Sky Pirates**

As Perlapae goes
to each house, she realizes the rest of her companions are not sleeping safely
in their beds. Distressed, she heads back to the keep, but while doing so, she
notices a strange movement in the sky. She watches, horrified, as the moon is eclipsed
by a flying ship. The pirates have found them. Calling upon the power of Viti
and empowered by the magic permeating the air, Perlapae calls to the stone of
the cavern that provides shelter for the secret town. Slowly, but surely, the
stone encloses in on itself, eliminating the gaps, holding off the pirates for
now. She runs towards the keep.

Within the keep,
the group – save for Perl – have found the Lord in the deeper, lower levels,
and a great magical machine that needs to be powered. The machine is about to
burst, and he will not listen to reason. The Lord wants to self-destruct the
entire keep in order to safeguard a mysterious and magical key that Sajaina and
Baygrith totally steal. Sal sings. Grukk cuts a guy’s arm off. Timmeron tries
to talk logic (it does not go well, but this one isn’t his fault, that Lord was
totally unreasonable). Perl runs in, yelling “SKY PIRATES” and then ruins in
the interrogation of the Lord by having a big stone fist cover him (whoops).

It’s too late.
Void Beasts begin to enter the keep. Travize does something crazy: he turns
into a bear and sends his friends out, waiting to hit the destruct button once
they are all to safety. Despite not wanting to leave him, they agree. Perl uses
her magic-on-steroids to carve out an entirely new hallway to avoid the Void
Beasts. One by one, each friend leaves the bottom of the keep. They enter an
upperchamber filled with Void Beasts. Grukk is an idiot and runs right into the
middle. Pissed, Perl follows and protects his dumb ass. Timmeron, Sal,
Baygrith, and Sajaina attempt to rig a rope to the chandelier to fly across the
room. Sajaiana goes first, but fails and falls into the Void Beast mass. Perl
runs to save her and Grukk realizes as Perl drags him by his foolish beard that
together, they are stronger.

Timmeron does a
brave thing and tries the rope a second time, but also falls. He pulls out a
big ass scythe from his arm and attacks the Void Beasts. Grukk and Sajaina have
made it to the door, and Perl leaves them to rescue Timmeron, who is bleeding
heavily. Sal breaks his lute trying to be a bad ass, but it was still pretty
impressive. Baygrith gets lit on fire. As the group rushes out, they encounter
orcs, fighting and defeating them. Sajaina leaves her friends to go get her
crown.

**Meanwhile, deep in the heart of the keep, a bear waits.**

 Fighting off a winged Void Beast, he
throws the self-destruct lever. Fur shifts into feathers as Travize becomes and
bird and flies out, only one wing beat in front of the explosion. He flies out
into the sky, narrowly avoiding debris. One particularly big boulder is
careening towards a familiar emerald green figure – Sajaina. Mid-air, Travize
becomes a bear and tumbles onto Sajaina, saving her but wounding himself.

There is a
rather poor attempt to evacuate the town that is best left undetailed, for the
adventurers were quite embarrassed, but suffice it to say that Baygrith sang
over a loud speaker, Perl traumatized an old couple, Sajaina got mad, and
Travize wanted to kidnap a child. This was all for naught, because the sky
pirates left anyway and they were not in danger…Yeah. Oh, and Travize flips off
Baygrith because somebody told him too.

**They leave the**
secret town all fucked up and broken, no fucks given.

They travel
through the cold ass snow again, as miserable as before (at least, Grukk, Perl,
Sajaina, and Baygrith) and settle inside a little cave. Overnight, they notice
another set of travelers, a famed group who earned their notoriety by the
Battle of the Dark Bog. Their members are: Storan (a human paladin with a big
mouth who is guided by the brain between his legs), Mor (a dwarf rogue who
loathes the capitalist mentality of Trench Dwarves), Ahn (a Laputian wizard who
has left his home and his goddess behind), and Blunt (an orc who is sick of
everyone’s shit and carries a keg of ale). Timmeron goes out to meet them and
tells a bunch of lies, almost leaving behind several very unprepared members of
the group to freeze to death in the snow, but it was a solid attempt. Storan: “TIMMY!
You lied again!”

Sajaina shows
these greedy guys her crown and learns that they want to save the Maharaja,
which Perl thinks is a mistake (unprepared morons, in her opinion). The
collective get in touch with Travize and tell him that they’ve had a few skirmishes
with Laputian militia in their territory, and he explains that they’re trying
to help.  Lots of people are offended,
mostly by Storan. The group enters the Coriander woods, and Mor and Sajaina
scout ahead, with a watchful Travize bird overhead.

Perl asks about
love, and learns that Timmeron is betrothed and that love means cutting someone’s
arm off. Storan reveals a broken heart in his past, and Ahn shares that Viti’s
match for him resulted in a crisis of faith. Mor teaches Sajaina to poison
people.

Camp is made and
the group is uneasy, each questioning their reason for being in this strange
forest among such strange company. They will strike the Dragon Wings soon.