Season Four Mysteries

> Dear Kurt Bezzletook, Commander of the Blingbottom Adventurer's Guild Outpost:
> While the Castaway Cuties are off killing things indiscriminately and burning down subcontinents and starting wars, please have the Adventurer's Guild look into some of the unresolved clues unearthed by our ongoing investigation into the activities of these anarchic terrorists.
>
>
> > Thanks,
> > Congress
> >
> >
>
>

**Unidentified and Partially Identified Items** [Items in BOLD are entirely unidentified.]

* Hag Dog 20/20: Distilled fluid that allows sight into other dimensions.
* **Vial of Bile**: Vial containing a black viscous liquid that is in perpetual motion.
* Flesh Bags: They contain soul gems. Reports indicate that the Cuties have found two of these bags. What do they do? How many of them are out there? Could they have a more disgusting name?
* **Heavy Jug**: Necromantic device, cold to the touch.
* **Accursed Urn**: Touching this draws the attention of an ethereal skeletal figure.
* **Necromantic Spellbook** written in an unknown language. Nathan has this.
* The Shadowfell Journal: Did the ritual succeed? What was summoned?
* **Interdimensional glowing fungus**: what can a skilled alchemist make with this?
* Boin Cones: Who maintains this unregulated cryptocurrency? What's the exchange rate? What happens to their value if their only source, Kronk the Walking Economy, is destroyed?
* **Leather belt** looted by Iva Paperbark in the Megalake Pangadon Tower of Viscera. Also there was a doll but reports indicate that it was left behind along with an undisclosed amount of "decadent silver."
* **Vampyr's Homunculus**: what's the deal with the Vampyr's Homunculus? Why is Noodles deserving of companionship and dialog but a homunculus isn't?
* **Ornate bow** looted by Jelf in the Flaysacola Mayor's Office.

**The Black Tortle**

* Do they have a name and is it a ridiculous type name or what?
* Was it working on its own or was it hired by someone?
* What groups was it affiliated with and which of them might seek revenge for its unceremonious death?
* Can we get some kind of spin-off mini-series exploring the Black Tortle's origin? Like, it had its own secret lair and everything. Living the dream!

Update/Spoiler:

**The Ornate Thingamajig**

* What is the message contained in the Ornate Thingamajig?
* Who sent the message and for whom is it intended?
* Apparently this thing will always be referred to as a pocket watch. Maybe we can do some enchanted engineering on it so that it will actually tell the time.

**Misconstrusies/Ms. Construsies**

* We sent someone to find out what this is all about and they disappeared. We sent someone else and they were found wandering in the wilderness, drooling and mindless. Then we sent Karl because nobody likes him. Buh-bye, Karl.

**Bahamut's Fury**

* What's the deal with this thing? Acquiring it was a huge deal but we know almost nothing about it. Has it even been properly identified? What's the lore? OK, maybe don't bother with the lore but at least let us know what kind of bonus effects the wielder receives. Does it still petrify people? If so, under which circumstances? Did its mass actually change?
* What kind of douche would carry around a replica weapon? Just get a pet snake and hang out on the boardwalk, dude.
* I mean, I guess we need the lore. I was afraid that asking for it would make me look too needy.

Update/Spoiler:

**Nathan Whiskers, Princess Cospia, And Hell's Stair**

* Prior to teleporting the remaining Cuties to Flaysacola a priest of Boralysis mentions that Nathan Whiskers and Princess Cospia were headed towards Hell's Stair.
* What's the deal with Hell's Stair and the mysterious swirling black void at its zenith?
* Nathan has a spellbook that enables him to contact beings from Shadowfell. Is it a good idea to let him near swirling black voids found in places with names like "Hell's Stair?"
* If the Cuties ever go to Hell's Stair could they please make a quick side trip to Upsie Pinesie? Please? Like, it's only a little bit farther. Can we go to Upsie Pinesie? Please?
* Please can we go?

**UPDATE:** It turns out that this thing about Nathan Whiskers going to Hell's Stair was based on bad intel.

* ¯\\_(ツ)\_/¯

**Bagpipes 71**

* What transpired in the magical darkness? Did the dracula get a vision of itself with a mullet?
* Do the bagpipes require a period of time to recharge or can Toody just use them to totally toot down an entire capital city and its keep in the penultimate episode?
* What is the plural form of "bagpipes?"

**The "Doggy Stylists" Cabal**

* Known Members:
	1. Lady Mesremain
	2. *Lord Somnolent* [in the coffin violated by Iva Paperbark]
	3. Two Vampyr [Lord Suul and Amalegda?]
	4. A wannabe Vampyr
	5. Vaclan, a Bugbear Werebat that may appear to be a Vampyr.
	6. The Lich. Uh, the Lich?!?! Like, The LICH Lich?!?! Yikes!
* Potential Members: you! Find the bank account number hidden within these pages, deposit 17 Bone Coins, then spin around three times and await the arrival of your secret membership packet!