Episode 2: World Wide Lottery

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

Hello everyone and welcome to Episode 2 of Globe Hell Warning. On this episode we explain how we will pay for the World Wide Train. The answer is World Wide Lottery.

## Idea Details

* Idea: World Wide Lottery
* Creator of idea: Josiah
* Purpose of idea: Let's zoom it back a little bit to the question of "What is the biggest plague facing humanity and the Earth right now?" And many would argue it's the Twitter account @rappin4safety, but what it actually is is I think income inequality or global poverty across the world. There's inequality, there's poverty, there's just a general sense of unfairness in terms of the distribution and shared resources. So what is one way to kind of crawl out of poverty and level the playing field and how could we fix this issue? So how do we even out the playing field for the entire globe hell population? Well let me propose to you a very simple solution. A modest proposal, if you will. A global lottery. Now what I'm talking about is that each individual on Earth, regardless of Creed, regardless of Alter Bridge (just a bit of a music joke there). But regardless of their background or their stature or their current state of wealth, every single person has the opportunity to purchase a lottery ticket that will put them in the grand pot of the entire globe. Perhaps there's a few handouts. Maybe there's one winner a month, I don't really know how lotteries work. How often are there lotteries, I'm not too sure, but everybody is allowed to enter this lottery, there's no you know, if you live in Quebec you're still allowed, there's no distinctions between locations, we all get into the lottery. The grand total is handed out in Canadian dollars, because that's just sort of a nod to where we've come up with this idea in Canada. And then that's it. It's a completely level playing field. There's no biases. If you have the winning numbers then you have them. And if not, then maybe next month. And then that way, probably some of the money from buying the lottery tickets goes into the World Wide Train pot, and then the rest of it helps people win and be better off.
* Timetable: World Wide Lottery will be enacted between the implementation of World Wide Dollar (whereby all currency in the world is replaced) and the creation of World Wide Train. Since World Wide Train is already overdue, World Wide Lottery is more than already overdue. It will exist very soon.
* Idea details:
	+ Everyone has the opportunity to buy a ticket in order to fund the lottery company. This is a concept known as money lottering, whereby the lottery company keeps half of the money from the sale of each lottery ticket. With 7.8 billion people on the Earth and a lottery ticket price of $5 each per person on the Earth and a 50% profit margin per ticket, Globe Hell Warning will make $19.5 billion per month in World Wide Train income to start building the infrastructure that will be perfect from the beginning and never need to be changed. The other $19.5 billion per month will be the lottery pot given to the winner of that month's World Wide Lottery.
	+ It will be mandatory for each citizen of Earth to buy a $5 World Wide Lottery ticket each month.
	+ Josiah will have a salary that comes out of the World Wide Lottery pot each month, estimating the final pot total would be around 30% of the half that went to the pot in the first place.
		- Note: This means Josiah's job of splitting up World Wide Lottery ticket sales will pay a salary of about $13.65 billion per month (or about $163.8 billion per year). The remaining pot for winning the World Wide Lottery would be about $5.85 billion per month.
	+ World Wide Lottery will only be possible if World Wide Dollar (WWD) has already been implemented. This would be a single global currency to make currency conversion a thing of the past. Drew asks that listeners imagine there was an episode released prior to this one that went into detail on WWD.
	+ WWD will be a global currency that is equivalent in value to the Canadian Dollar, or CAD.
	+ Anyone who is unable to pay for the mandatory $5 World Wide Lottery ticket each month is eligible to apply for the Find-A-Friend Network (FAFN), which will allow wealthier patrons known as Fives to funnel $5 to the poor FAFN recipients known as Five-Nots. It should be noted that sending $5 to FAFN will actually cost the Five a total of $7, with the remaining $2 being used to pay for FAFN itself.
	+ Everyone requesting $5 from FAFN will receive the money, but it should be noted that FAFN will be keeping track of whose children come from which families, so if anyone abuses the $5 system, their children might be forced to work at FAFN longer.
	+ If someone fails to buy a mandatory $5 World Wide Lottery ticket each month, they will get a $7 ticket infraction from the World Wide Security Initiative.
	+ World Wide Lottery is the main World Wide Lottery, which helps pay for World Wide Train and get rid of global poverty. But if people want other things in between the monthly main World Wide Lottery which is held on the 15th of each month to ensure rent can be paid on the 1st of each month (see World Wide Landlord for more information on paying rent), whether for things like improved healthcare or to get a pothole fixed in your neighborhood, then there's also World Wide Scratchers that you can do in between the main World Wide Lottery. World Wide Scratchers would only cost $2 each.
	+ It will be illegal for underage people to buy a ticket and participate in World Wide Lottery.
		- Note: This means the money raised per month for World Wide Train, for the World Wide Lottery pot, and for Josiah's salary will be dramatically reduced, since the only people paying $5 per month for a mandatory World Wide Lottery ticket will be every human on Earth who is over the age of 18.
	+ Once World Wide Lottery is implemented, paid employment for underage people will be forbidden. The only employment that can be legally sought by underage people will be unpaid internships.
	+ FAFN will be staffed by underage unpaid interns, who will be forbidden from speaking to their families for the duration of their employment at FAFN. They will remain at FAFN until they are 18 or maybe 20-21, at which time they can speak to their families again. This separation is to prevent any bias from entering into their decisions over who receives the $5 FAFN payments.
		- Note: This is confusing because anyone who requests $5 from FAFN will receive it, so there is no possibility of bias. Fraud could be possible, though, so the forced separation of the underage unpaid interns from their families should help make it harder for their families to fraudulently acquire an extra $5 from FAFN each month.
	+ After World Wide Train is built, the underage unpaid interns working at FAFN will be forced to sleep in sleeper train cars on World Wide Train. It will likely only take a couple months for World Wide Lottery to raise enough money to pay for World Wide Train.
		- Note: It is unknown where the underage unpaid interns will sleep for the couple months it takes to create World Wide Train.
	+ World Wide Lottery will lose money overall for the first couple months while it is paying for World Wide Train (other than Josiah's salary), but after that it will be pure profit. It should be noted that once World Wide Train is paid for and created, a portion of the World Wide Lottery profits will be used to give back, becoming a bit of a fundraiser that supports various Patreons.
	+ All World Wide Lottery tickets will have a small black-and-white picture of Josiah in the corner.
	+ After everyone on Earth over the age of 18 purchases a mandatory World Wide Lottery ticket on the 15th of the month, the winning numbers will be revealed the following weekend on a televised special by spinning a giant wheel.
	+ It will take one hour for the underage unpaid interns at FAFN to give $5 to everyone who requests it.
	+ Josiah and Drew will be allowed to win the World Wide Lottery, despite Josiah receiving a salary from World Wide Lottery and Drew presumably profiting off of FAFN. This helps demonstrate how anyone can win World Wide Lottery, including billionaires like Jeff Bezos.

## Devil Play

* Drew asks how everyone on the Earth can buy a World Wide Lottery ticket if there are people on the planet who cannot afford $5 per month for a lottery ticket, stating that they are being deprived the opportunity to participate in World Wide Lottery.
	+ Josiah responds that it's not unreasonable that these poor persons could ask to borrow $5 from a friend without it being uncomfortable. It will be mandatory for each citizen of Earth to buy a lottery ticket each month, so they must find the money somehow.
	+ Drew introduces an idea called the Find-A-Friend Network, which is a network for people who don't have $5.
	+ Josiah suggests this should be called the Five-A-Friend Network or the Find-A-Five Network, because those would be punchier, much like the name Globe Hell Warning.
	+ Drew responds that he understands this well, having been the one who came up with the name Globe Hell Warning.
	+ Josiah interjects that Drew's statement is patently untrue.
	+ Drew, however, notes that he has the DMs to back up his assertion.
		- Note: This is a confusing stance and was likely a bluff, because the name Globe Hell Warning was seemingly determined during the course of the conversation in Episode 1: World Wide Train. If that conversation was indeed the origin of the name Globe Hell Warning, then Drew is technically correct that he created the name, though he said it by mistake, and the name was only chosen as the podcast title when Josiah caught Drew's mistake and spoke out in support of that name.
	+ Josiah steers the conversation back to Drew's Find-A-Friend Network, though accidentally refers to it as the Find-A-Boy Network.
	+ Drew describes the Find-A-Friend Network (FAFN) as a way for people to sign up on a website or a PO box or paper means in order to find a friend who will be willing to give them $5. This would mean the Haves will be giving to the Have-Nots.
	+ Josiah suggests that these groups should be referred to as the Fives and the Five-Nots.
	+ Drew agrees with this idea.
	+ Josiah angrily retorts that Drew's byzantine social network idea is overcomplicating the simplicity of the original World Wide Lottery design. He counters by asking how Drew plans to pay for FAFN, which is a logistical nightmare in his view.
	+ Drew repeats his stance that they need something in place for the large portions of the population who would be unable to pay for their lottery ticket. The absence of their participation means the World Wide Lottery will not be worldwide, by definition.
	+ Josiah responds by emphasizing that it's still a World Wide Lottery because it's mandatory, so you have to join.
	+ Drew asks what the punishment would be for failing to buy a ticket for the mandatory World Wide Lottery.
	+ Josiah rejects the premise of Drew's question, stating there doesn't need to be a punishment if everyone just pays for the ticket but eventually relents and asks Drew how they would pay for the FAFN infrastructure.
	+ Drew responds that FAFN could be paid for by costing $7 to give $5 to the needy. The leftover $2 would pay for FAFN.
	+ Josiah proposes an idea to ask for $5 but not mention that it's $5 USD, which works out to roughly $7 CAD. This means they would just be skimming off the top of an intentionally vague currency conversion calculation.
	+ Drew suggests a solution to this issue that involves switching to a single global currency, World Wide Dollar (WWD), before starting World Wide Lottery and FAFN. $1 WWD will equal $1 CAD and all other currencies would be eliminated.
	+ Josiah asks what would happen with those eliminated currency dollars.
	+ Drew responds that each eliminated currency dollar would be treated as $1 CAD, saying that there would be a conversion system for this.
	+ Josiah reiterates that World Wide Lottery is mandatory and you can use FAFN if you want, but if you don't purchase a $5 ticket each month, you will get a ticket infraction from the World Wide Security Initiative, who will give you a $7 infraction every time you can't pay for your $5 World Wide Lottery ticket. He then proposes creating a new dollar bill or 50-cent bills, saying that it could be fun to carry around a lot of bills.
	+ Drew counters that they could get rid of all the coins and convert them all to tokens, so they could have World Wide Lottery machines.
* Drew asks if it will also be mandatory for babies and children to buy a World Wide Lottery ticket each month.
	+ Josiah asks if anyone under the age of 18 is exempt from World Wide Lottery.
	+ Drew responds that he believes that should be the case.
	+ Josiah petulantly states that if anyone under 18 is not allowed to participate in World Wide Lottery, then they are also not allowed to have jobs of any kind. This would mean no more paper routes and no more sweatshops. Unpaid internships would be the only positions available until turning 18 years old.
	+ Drew counters that unpaid internships could sometimes last even until 20 or 21 years of age, noting that FAFN will be partially built upon the labour of unpaid internships. This would also be a way for Drew to ensure that anyone working for him at FAFN would be of legal age, so Drew can take them out for dinners.
	+ Josiah describes FAFN as "a shell corporation humanitarian PR/HR fuckin' nightmare".
	+ Drew relents to Josiah's request that all FAFN unpaid internships be held by underage kids.
	+ Josiah likes this idea, noting that it makes more sense since they have no bias as they are unable to enter World Wide Lottery. He then also mentions that they're not allowed to speak to their family anymore to prevent bias while they work at FAFN. He re-relents to Drew's idea that unpaid internships be extended to those 20 or 21 years of age (though this could be different per country), though they will not be able to speak to their families again until they stop working at FAFN. While at FAFN, the underage unpaid interns will decide who gets the $5 FAFN payment if they can't afford it. Josiah asks, though, whether FAFN will ensure that every person requesting the $5 will receive the money.
	+ Drew responds that FAFN must ensure that everybody can get their $5.
	+ Josiah notes that while there is no $5 turned back, FAFN will be keeping track of whose children come from which families, so if anyone abuses the $5 system, their children might be forced to work at FAFN for a little while longer.
	+ Drew agrees and says that FAFN will have to house the unpaid child interns while they work there, suggesting they could use the sleeper cars on the World Wide Train for this.
	+ Josiah counters that World Wide Lottery is being used to raise money to build the World Wide Train, so Drew's idea of forcing unpaid child interns to sleep on a train will only work if the train cars are built first. He then notes that it won't be very long before World Wide Train is completed, so it may not end up being much of an issue.
	+ Drew agrees, saying they'll be at a loss for the first couple months while paying for World Wide Train, but after that it's pure profit.
* Josiah asks how the World Wide Lottery tickets will be safely distributed, and how they can ensure there are no backroom deals going on. He suggests they be sold at 7-11.
	+ Drew agrees, but adds that they could also be handed out at various drive-thrus, such as Wendy's, McDonald's, and Tim Horton's.
	+ Josiah pushes back on Drew's suggestion that the World Wide Lottery tickets would be "handed out", emphasizing that they are purchased and not handed out.
	+ Drew notes that FAFN is essentially handing out World Wide Lottery tickets.
	+ Josiah also pushes back on Drew's inclusion of Tim Horton's as a possible place to get World Wide Lottery tickets, noting that this is a global enterprise and Tim Horton's is not available everywhere. He decides to put the McDonald's vs 7-11 question to a vote, though, and asks listeners to sound off in support of one or the other.

## Notable Events

* Josiah revealed that Drew texted him immediately after the previous episode, saying "I just don't think that politics are important right now with everything that's going on in the world" and added that he wanted to go on hiatus. This could explain the long gap between the two episodes.
* Drew explained he had been taking a sabbatical from most media, and had been spending his time tweeting - though not reading anyone else's tweets. In addition to tweeting, Drew had been watching only about an hour of cable television every day, and had been listening to the radio only every second hour while at work. Drew noted that he would not watch any TV shows in particular, but would rather cruise around the channels during his hour. This, he stated, creates a remix of TV shows (similar to a remix of a song).
* Norm Hell
* Drew suggests that income equality and global poverty could be fixed by melting down all the gold in the world, collecting it in a big pot, and distributing one ladle of melted gold to everyone equally. Josiah replied that, while the golden ladle idea is a good one, they would not be pursuing it yet.
* Drew revealed that he does not drink anything, including water. He only eats his liquids.
* This episode introduces the idea of World Wide Dollar (WWD), as the World Wide Currency of the future. It is equivalent to CAD because that is where Globe Hell Warning is from.
* World Wide Dollar Store
* Mail Bag segment

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "You've got ladles on the mind I think. And yet you can't get 'ladle' lot."
* "You're saying if something is a known phrase then it's OK to say it no matter what? And I can search through your history and these phrases are OK?"
* "Just doing some back-of-the-napkin math here. It's always important to have a napkin with you in case either you need to do some math or you've got a little bit of cum that you need to squirt out."
* [In response to being asked whether all babies and children on Earth will be forced to pay $5 every month to gamble in World Wide Lottery] "This is where the political and the philosophical sort of shake hands and say 'Nice to meet you' because we gotta figure that out right now. What is a baby, Drew?"
* " 'Who is a baby?' Uh good question, I would say Drew is what I think of when I think of a big baby."
* "So baby are children?"
* "So a baby is a child but are all child a baby? And what about a teen? Is a teen a baby?"
* "I'm not the one starting a shell corporation humanitarian PR/HR fuckin' nightmare over here."
* "Thank you @lauralangle: 'Critiquing disinformation and #fakenews. Inadequate response to COVID the Idiocracy.' Thank you for following us and helping us along the path of true enlightenment and just helping us fight the good fight."

### Drew

* "I'm gonna ask you to not search through my history."
* "Some believe life begins at conception. I'm not one of them. I don't."
* "A baby is the smallest form of child."
* "A teen is a child but not a baby."
* "If you think it would be better, we'll hire underage kids to be the interns."
* "Maybe the first couple months we'll be at a loss paying for the train, but after that it's pure profit."
* [On the subject of including a picture of Josiah on the World Wide Lottery tickets] "I don't have any issue with that because they're mandatory. If we were trying to move units and it wasn't mandatory, I'd say then maybe we'd have a sexy woman."
* "But since it is mandatory, there's no problem with putting your stupid fucking face on it. Disgusting little rat face."
* "It's super exciting to see somebody with nothing win, but it's even more exciting to see somebody who already has billions and billions of dollars win, just because it shows the different ways the game can go."
* "Thank you 'I'm a bot' @tittytot13."

## Trivia

* The gap between the release of the previous episode and this one was 34 days, which is the longest gap between episodes to date. During the episode, Josiah attributed this hiatus to Drew's disbelief in the importance of politics in the world today, and added that Globe Hell Warning could have been much more popular if they had not taken such a long break.
* This episode is the first and only episode to include a Mail Bag segment at the end, where Josiah and Drew read comments from listeners. However, they did not have any mail to read, so they shouted out some of their new followers on Twitter.