Steamed Hams

"Oh ho ho ho no, I said Steamed Hams! That's what I call hamburgers!"

**Steamed Hams** is a scene from the Simpsons episode "22 Short Episodes About Springfield." In it, Seymour Skinner invites Superintendent Chalmers over to his house to have an "unforgettable luncheon" but Skinner discovers his roast is ruined and must make many lies in order to avoid arousing the Superintendent's suspicion.

## History

Seymour invited Superintendent Chalmers over to his house for an "unforgettable luncheon." After greeting Chalmers, Seymour returned to his kitchen to discover that the roast ham he had been preparing for the occasion had been left in the oven for too long, and it set ablaze. His roast ruined, Seymour decided to purchase fast food from the nearby restaurant, Krusty Burger, and attempt to pass it off as his own cooking. He began to climb out his kitchen window to avoid being caught leaving his house by Chalmers, but right as he did, Chalmers entered the kitchen to check on Seymour. After the "Skinner and The Superintendent" song played, Chalmers screamed Seymour's name in anger. Seymour lied and claimed he was performing isometric exercise on his windowsill and asked the Superintendent if he would like to join him, Chalmers instead questioned why smoke was coming out of Seymour's oven, in order to cover up the fact that his roast was ruined and smoke was coming from it, Seymour claimed it was actually steam, and that they would be eating Steamed Clams during the luncheon. Chalmers gave Skinner a suspicious look and then left. Seymour then ran to Krusty Burger and purchased hamburgers and fries to eat during the luncheon, forgetting to turn his smoking oven off, a mistake that would come to haunt him later. Seymour returned with a dish of hamburgers and fries, and two glasses of wine, to Chalmers confusion, claiming he thought they would be eating steamed clams. Seymour claims he misheard them and that he actually said "steamed hams" and that it was a regional dialect. When Chalmers questions what region, Seymour claims it originated from Upstate New York, Chalmers claims he's from Utica and has never heard anyone use the phrase steamed hams, Seymour replies claiming it's from Albany. Seymour and Chalmers each enjoy the luncheon, with Chalmers biting into a "steamed ham" and Seymour drinking a glass of wine. Chalmers remarks that the hamburgers are quite similar to the ones that are sold at Krusty Burger, causing Skinner to laugh, claiming that they are "Patented Skinner Burgers" and an "old family recipe." Chalmers questions why Seymour calls them steamed hams when he can tell they are obviously grilled, Seymour stutters before excusing himself and returning to his kitchen, he discovers his kitchen is on fire and quickly returns to the dining room with Chalmers. He yawns and claims that the luncheon was wonderful and that he is "pooped." Chalmers agrees but before he can leave, he spots the raging fire in Seymour's kitchen and yells out in terror. Seymour responds that is is actually Aurora Borealis, a natural light display, Chalmers, baffled, yells at Seymour, claiming that it should be impossible and asks if it is localized entirely within his kitchen. Seymour replies "Yes." Chalmers then asks if Seymour would let him see the phenomena, to which Seymour replies "No." The two exit the house, now even further engulfed in flames, Agnes Skinner, Seymour's mother who he lives with, yells out, "Seymour, the house is on fire!" to which he replies that it is just the Northern Lights, also known as the Aurora Borealis. Chalmers tells Seymour that although he is an "odd fellow" that he steams a good ham. As he leaves, Agnes screams for help as Seymour's house continues to burn, Chalmers turns around one last time, Seymour gives him a thumbs up. As he walks away, Seymour rushes into his house to save his mother from the flames, and a firetruck rushes to his house. The scene then ends.