Wilbur and Cardigan watch SpongeBob SquarePants

## Transcript

* Wilbur: Okay, Cardigan. Shall we watch TV?
* Cardigan: Sure thing, Wilbur.
* Wilbur: (turns on the TV) There you go.
* Painty: Are you ready, kids?
* Children: Ay-ay, captain.
* Painty: I can't hear you!
* Children: Ay-ay, captian!
* Painty: *Ooooh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?*
* Children: *SpongeBob SquarePants.*
* Painty: *Absorbent and yellow and porous is he?*
* Children: *SpongeBob SquarePants.*
* Painty: *If nautical nonsense be something you wish?*
* Children: *SpongeBob SquarePants.*
* Painty: *Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish?*
* Children: *SpongeBob SquarePants.*
* Painty: Ready!
* Painty and the children: *SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants.*
* Painty: *SpongeBob SquarePants*. (laughs)
* Wlibur: I love SpongeBob!
* Cardigan: Me too!
* **Narrator:** Ah, the sea...So fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life. [Shows from left to right Patrick's, Squidward's, and SpongeBob's houses. Zooms in on SpongeBob's house] Home to one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly. [SpongeBob's alarm sounds; he wakes, but is unaffected by the annoying sound, and with a smile turns it off. He climbs from his bed to a ladder leading to his diving board]
* **SpongeBob:** Today's the big day, Gary!
* **Gary:** Meow.
* **SpongeBob:** [Jumps on the diving board] Look at me, I'm… [Jumps up, and leaves his underwear behind] ...naked! [Lands inside pants, walks over to exercise room. His head pops out of the top of his pants] Gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary.
* **Gary:** Meow.
* **SpongeBob:** [He goes inside his small gym that has a sign that says, "I Love Pain". Taking deep breaths, he prepares to lift a barbell that is balanced by two lightweight stuffed animals. He sticks out his chest, but almost passes out because he can barely lift it. He drops it, and it makes a 'squeak' noise] I'm ready! [Runs outside] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! [Patrick Star's rock tilts upwards with Patrick stuck to its underside]
* **Patrick:** Go, SpongeBob! [Patrick falls] Whoa! [Crash!]
* Wilbur: Look at that creature! Is he cute, Cardigan?!
* Cardigan: Yes, Wilbur! (laughs)
* Wilbur: (laughs, along with Cardigan)
* **SpongeBob:** I am!
* **Patrick:** Who's ready?
* **SpongeBob:** I'm ready!
* **Patrick:** Who's ready?
* **SpongeBob:** I'm ready!
* **Patrick:** Who's ready?
* **SpongeBob:** I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [Runs toward the Krusty Krab]
* **Squidward:** [Cleaning graffiti of himself with the word Loser, sees SpongeBob, and sighs] Oh no, SpongeBob. What could he possibly want?
* Cardigan: I'm gonna change the channel. (pushes the button of the remote)
* Wilbur: Let's watch *The Gumazing Gum Girl* instead.
* (Disney logo)
* Narrator: *(Clears throat)* Now, where to begin? *(clicks mouth)* How about, "Once upon a time"? (cuts to black) How many times have you heard that the story begins? Let's do something else. *(gasps)* I got it. I got it. Here we go, here's how to open a movie. *(The 2019 photorealistic Circle of Life plays, but cuts out in the few seconds)* No, I don't think so. It sounds familiar, doesn't it to you? Here's what we're gonna do. *(as a "Walt Disney Pictures presents" fades in, then to the book)* Why don't I just tell you a happy story? There happened a story…you must see to believe. From way up in the sky to the city of Stockton!
* City Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen!
* Wilbur and Cardigan: FERN!!! HEEEELP USSSSSSS!!!
* (end)