Stone 67

**Chapter 67**

Suddenly, we're back with Kahlan as she runs down a corridor. Apparently Jebra told her she saw a light in the Wizard's Keep, which can only mean that Zedd is back. Kahlan runs until she enters *“the cluttered reading room,”* where she does indeed find Zedd and Adie.

Kahlan greets Zedd. Zedd, of course, still has magical amnesia, and has no idea who she is or what she's talking about. Kahlan says that Richard needs his help, and that the Nuns have taken him away. This snaps Zedd out of his amnesia (to everyone's vast surprise, I'm sure).

Recovered Zedd demands to know what Kahlan is talking about, why the Nuns have Richard, and why on earth he would agree to put a collar on. Kahlan admits that she bullied him into it, and Zedd gets well and truly pissed, yelling at her and smacking her around. He says that Richard is lost, since Zedd can't get past the towers (I guess he can't sail around them like Ann and Nathan did) and Richard will be stuck in the Big Stone Witch House for 300 years.

Kahlan angsts. Zedd asks what happened to her hair, and she says the council sentenced her to decapitation and the people all cheered (you're damn right they did). Zedd declares that the people shall have their wish, and drags Kahlan off to be beheaded the next day. YES! GO, ZEDD! DO IT! DO IT!

Kahlan thinks that it doesn't matter, since *“The good spirits had abandoned her. They had stripped her of everything that mattered.”* Umm . . . I'm pretty sure it was Kahlan who rejected the good spirits a few chapters back. And we STILL have no reason to believe the good spirits ever interfere with mortal concerns directly.

Of course, we still know diddly squat about the good spirits at all.

Back to Richard, who is standing at the edge of the Valley of the Lost and Found with Verna, Moley, Rapegirl, and all the BBM: *“Thousands upon thousands of tents . . .”* I guess the BBM aren't just a tribe after all . . . and apparently EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM insisted on coming along with Rapegirl to reclaim their ancestral lands.

Moley – well, he's no longer The Mole, so I guess I'll go back to his actual name – Warren tells Richard they're too late, since the winter solstice is tomorrow. Richard is irritatingly smug and mysterious. Richard asks Warren if an “agent” has to be alive in order to complete Teh Profuseez and bring Satan into the world. Warren says, no, he guesses not, as long as the agent has someone else to act as his hands. Richard admits that he brought Rahl back into the world, and they're all probably screwed.

Richard mentions that, back when Verna was first trying to teach him to touch his Force, he once accidentally gave himself a vision of the Gardens of Life, and Rahl was there, and seemed to see him. Richard says that this happened when he focused on the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo against the background of a page from the Book of Counted Shadows, but it scared him so he never used that background again (looking back, I must admit that that is correct and I just plain missed it). He says that maybe if he tried again, he could see the Gardens that way.

Verna and Warren agree it can't hurt to try, so Richard meditates for a bit, visualizing the Sword on the aforementioned background. He soon sees the Gardens of Life, Ghost Rahl, a woman in a brown skirt and white blouse drawing lines in Rahl's sand garden, and the skrin bone. Rahl looks up at Richard and smiles, so Richard snaps out of his trance.

From Richard's description, Verna recognizes the woman as *“Sister Odette,”* who disappeared six months ago.

Richard grabs Rapegirl and they head into the Valley of the Lost and Found. The random floating murder-spells aren't killing them because Rapegirl is absorbing them, using her unique, inexplicable and never-to-be-explained-or-referenced-again magical talent. Richard thinks that *“Together, they were the completed link Warren had told him the old books said would contain the power and bring the towers down.”*

This is the first I've ever heard of that. \~/

Richard and Rapegirl head into the black tower, and Richard holds up the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo. Through instinct and Sue-powers \~/ Richard blasts the crap out of the tower with lightning, turning it white. They then head across to the white tower and repeat the process, though this time Richard blasts it with black lightning, turning it black. And . . . that's it. All the magic goes away – poof – and them Valley of the Lost and Found is habitable once again. How . . . anticlimactic.

Richard runs off and finds Chase and Rachel, who are perfectly fine and have suffered no ill effects whatsoever for being trapped for months in the chaos of rampaging death-spells. \~/ Richard gets the Crying Rock from Rachel, there's more purported “humor” regarding Rapegirl's continued insistence that Richard is her husband, and suddenly Red the dragon shows up. Apparently Richard called her using her magic tooth, and he plans for her to fly him to the Gardens of Life. Presumably, dragons can travel at supersonic speeds.

We learn that Red's baby is “not so little any more,” and is off hunting. And that his name is Gregory.

. . .

. . .

THE DRAGON'S NAME IS **GREGORY???**

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL KIND OF NAME IS THAT FOR A DRAGON??? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!! THATS THE STUPIDEST THING I EVER BLEAARGH IKLGJH^%B&^BNB\*^$E$#@!;'

\*deep breaths\*

\~/\~/\~/

Okay . . . okay . . . I'm better now. Let is never speak of . . . that name . . . again.

Richard climbs aboard Red, and Rapegirl runs after him, insisting that she's going where her husband goes. Richard whispers in Red's ear, and she blows flame at Rapegirl: not enough to hurt her, just to scare her. Ah, there's our sociopath. \~/ Richard tells Rapegirl to stay with the BBM, and she, finally realizing just how demented he is, quickly agrees.

Richard figures out that Kahlan will probably be at Aydindril, so he has the choice of saving her or saving the world, but not both. To my mild surprise, he chooses saving the world, but insists that he'll save Kahaln as well . . . somehow. Verna and Warren decide to stay and help the random people who've been released from the spells on the Valley of the Lost and Found. Chase offers to accompany Richard, but Richard tells him to take Rachel and go home instead. Red flies off with Richard on board, and the chapter ends.

Drinks: 7

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