Wrong Way Down - Part 11

Episode 11 of Wrong Way Down starts with the elkocalypse! Splitsie, Capac Amaru, and W4stedspace load the speederbike onto the Bird Eater using a rotor-piston-landing gear construction, combined with manual gyroscope wiggling. W4sted will drive Texfire's cargo tank until Texfire joins a bit later. Capac almost fools Splitsie into thinking he needs hydrogen--but Splitsie can see Capac's grin across the room. The three of them start driving south while it's still light out. They dream of jumping off the next cliff like the spiders they are, gliding down on spider silk...

(0:30) At dusk, Splitsie's front wheels feel inspired to leave the Bird Eater behind and jump off the cliff first. W4sted is relieved that Texfire joins and he doesn't have to drive someone else's vehicle anymore -- until they realise that the speederbike has inexplicably fallen off the back of the Bird Eater. Texfire struggles with his own vehicle (the Catertexpillar? CowTexPillar?) toppling over. Chat agrees with letting them paste the speederbike back in for a penance: Some want Capac to be sacrificed because he's innocent, some want W4sted to sing, and some want Splitsie to give Capac a compliment, while Splitsie (holding a grinder threateningly) proposes to let Capac shoot him as penance. They use the break for repairs and to add parachute hatches while brainstorming about the possibility of zero-friction bobsled riding downhill.

(1:00) When the terrain gets to steep, they build a highway bridge-sized plank to jump off the cliff from -- into a dark valley. Capac and Texfire compare the jump to a Goldeneye stunt, and W4sted inquires what their no-thruster rules say if he jumps onto a passing cargo ship ("go for it"). They are already planning tombstone inscriptions for their rovers.

* Capac drives onto the ramp first, accompanied by a fake British nature documentary voiced by Texfire. He jumps into the dark and hits the ground before the parachutes open. Capac sighs and starts jacking up his badly damaged vehicle for repairs, only for it to roll downhill in the dark.

* Texfire is up next. Not having any gyros, his tank flips uncontrollably head over heels even with the parachutes open -- and then lands perfectly on its wheels. 10/10.

* W4sted's speederbike is third up and after a well controlled glide, the parachute deploys too late and his back wheels fall off when landing too hard.

* Splitsie has a hard time even getting the Bird Eater straight onto the ramp, and then takes up half of it already, so he extends the ramp with cheap unwelded Refineries. Splitsie plans to hold X to compress the suspensions while accelerating, and then letting go to do a suspension jump -- which fails to propel him as intended. Splitsie's parachutes open on time and the Bird Eater lands between Capac and W4sted! Then, runs over a sighing Capac... and rolls onto its side. Splitsie uses "one more piston" to right the Bird Eater.

(1:30) While the others make repairs to their vehicles, the Bird Eater slides further down the hill into a crevasse, and Splitsie proceeds to dig it out. Capac says he gives up on fixing his vehicle, but as Tex asks if he can salvage it for parts for W4sted, Capac manages to get a bit further. Tex ascribes his successful jump to his "Take the wheel, Sir Isaac Newton!" attitude and manages to pass Splitsie and scout the valley. Following the promise of better terrain, Splitsie makes quick progress, only to smash the Bird Eater's front once more.

(2:00) Capac runs out of power and reports his status: "I would say my rover has seen better days, but it's only two days old and hasn't..." Splitsie follows Chat's advice to build a projector and Capac is surprised by the appearance of a Ghost Bird Eater. Splitsie is about to jinx it when he points out that no drones have reached them yet in this valley. Capac and W4sted have both given up on fixing their vehicles, and Splitsie and Texfire notice newly spawned SPRT Observation Outposts ahead. Splitsie leaves the dark valley and finds a snowy plain in the daylight. Splitsie explains that cargo ships flee in a straight line and dispatch drones, so they cannot simply agitate SPRT against ASSERT and pick up the wrecks. W4sted proposes for the last episode to leave the Bird Eater behind and race to the finish in small rovers built from the stored components. The valley plains turn out to be a medium high plateau with a drivable slope down. Capac rejects Splitsie's plan of needing a closer respawn point -- and respawns seconds later because he scouted ahead and got shot by the SPRT base.

(2:30) At dusk, they quickly take on the SPRT outpost on foot as a team and disarm a trap, then Splitsie drives the Bird Eater closer to syphon off the base's power. Capac's PC crashes and we hear a variety of grrr, beeps, and reset audio channels in the background as he restarts everything. Splitsie uses admin powers to give them ownership of the base so they can loot power and ammo. After recharging, Splitsie wants to attack an enemy fortress on the way south. Capac is back in game. They accept Makell's suggestion to turn the seized base into a heavy-armoured ramming rover.

(3:00) They tease each other about various things while W4sted crowns his new rover-to-be with a decoy "hat". Suddenly they all have to rejoin and lose a few minutes of work due to a game crash. To save the base battery for the rover-to-be, Splitsie drives a few metres further to mine ice for the hydrogen engine, and when the others rejoin, they are confused for a moment why the Bird Eater is gone. Texfire tells the story how he streamed *once by accident* and got six thousand followers. They are finished putting cockpit and rover wheels on the former base, and Capac wants to add a ramming spike to board the enemy Fortress, which reminds Splitsie of virus replication. The new white and green rover weighs a bit more than half of the Bird Eater's weight and is more agile. Texfire dubs the heavy ramming rover Bitter Suppository (alluding to the Bitter Pill).

(3:30) The target enemy fortress is in the *next* hollow and the Bird Eater is already struggling to get in and out of the current one. They shoot down an Atmospheric Fighter drone and Splitsie has a bad feeling about the Fortress being too OP. They add a survival kit to the Suppository while Capac welds up his boarding tube while on the move. They shoot down another fighter drone with handheld weapons because the Suppository is all heavy armour, no turrets. W4sted is driving and suddenly notices that the target Fortress is down a cliff and it's shooting rockets.

The Suppository jumps the cliff towards the Fortress, barely misses, and topples over. They quickly die due to lag and the Fortress' OP turrets and rocket launchers. But they are curious to try this assault again, so Splitsie resets to the previous save and they prepare this time. Splitsie: "Everyone, dump everything you don't need to carry. Myself included." W4sted: "We weren't carrying you that hard...😏"

A minute later when Splitsie restocks rifles and bottles he turns around and the whole Suppository is now "gold disco ball" coloured. The second attack run fails to gather enough speed and has the same outcome as the first. They announce to try again next week.

## References

1. ↑ They had been playing Rimworld Multiplayer together and the hunted elk retaliated, so Splitsie put up an LCD poster of an elk with glowing eyes opposite the Cryopods.
2. ↑ Texfire is late because he's celebrating US American Thanksgiving.
3. ↑ Twitch clip of W4stedspace' point of view of the attack