Retroactive

*"I have Swedish meatballs at will, of my command."*
―*James*

**Retroactive** is a series where James and Aleks take turns playing retro games from their childhood.

## Trivia

* *In episode 1 "Boogerman vs Boogermeister", Aleks talks a bit about his childhood in Russia, something he doesn't mention very often.*
* *Alien 3 was one of Aleks' favorite games as a child.*
* *Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero, is a game that Aleks played and completed as a child.*
* *Rugrats: Search for Reptar is said by James, to be one of the worst games he has ever played.*
* *E.T. Interplanetary Mission is the newest game Aleks and James have played.*
* In e*pisode 12 "Lion King Throwback", James and Aleks watch a movie. This hasn't happened in Retroactive before.*

## Quotes

* ***"I have Swedish meatballs at will, of my command"** - James*
* ***"Did you even own a...did you even own a SEGA??"** - James*
* ***"Great dude, that's it, it's over now. I didn't even get to kill anybody you piece of shit. I want to kill somebody** - James **"Ha, I want to kill myself"** - Aleks*
* ***"I would love to take a cruise!!"** - James*
* ***"Your triggering parts of my childhood that I, I wasn't ready to relive actually"** - Aleks*
* ***"Lucky for me, Chucky is the fastest runner...in this block"** - Aleks*
* ***"Why does E.T. care so much about fucking flowers?"** - James*
* ***"Games have come so far but you can just see that sometimes...they just didn't start out from anywhere at all"** - Aleks*

## Translations

***At the bottom of the description in each Cow Chop video there are two phrases, both in a different language that are sometimes related to that video. | The following are the translations for each video.***

***NOTE:* Most of these are meant to not make any sense.**

**BOOGERMAN VS BOOGERMEISTER | Episode 1**

1. **Latvian → English** - *"I always eat my boogers. Especially when nobody is looking. I remember one day I had a great dried booger in my nose. I could feel it. Then I looked both ways and saw no one is looking. I slowly stuck my finger up to my nose and felt it. It was a nice dried booger and I wanted to eat. I pulled it out and looked at it. Of course, you can always have a look at boogers before you eat them. I quickly stuck my finger in my mouth and ate it. It tasted so good. I love boogers."*
2. **Indonesian → English** - *"I was sitting in my car waiting for the light to change, when the person next to me had her nose and her face was all crazy. I rolled down the window and I started laughing; buried his finger up to the knuckle. I can not help but stare because I do not believe what I saw. When he pulled out the picture of pain. At the end of his finger was a piece of his brain. And with a smile on her face she flicked it right at me."*

**TINY TOON CHEATERS | Episode 2**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"When I was trapped on an isolated island in the middle of the ocean, all I had to play was Sonic Adventures, the best game ever made. I would like to run around the island at lightning speed, but that will not last long, over time my legs weakened, and they became extremely thirsty. It did not take long for me to feel bad and be on the brink of death. However I saw a light, light from a ship, and on that ship I had a Sega Genesis with all the Sonic games on it. It was a dream come true."*
2. **Russian → English** - *"But really, I just like the Tasmanian Devil."*

**BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD | Episode 3**

1. **Bulgarian → English** - *"This is the larynx (or voice box), causing everything that noise. As the body goes through puberty, the larynx grows bigger and thicker. This occurs in both boys and girls, but the change is more evident in boys. Voices of girls are aggravated by only a few tons and the change is barely noticeable."*
2. **Norwegian → English** - *"I am the great Cornholio, I need T.P. for my Bunghole"*

**GOLDEN AXE MEATBALL PRISONER | Episode 4**

1. **Albanian → English** - *"I once took strong axis in the country. This was a golden ax. I take many days and nights get. I had to plant 50 new trees in the ground and in the end I got more powerful axes. It will never break and let me cut as much fruit as I want. Fortunately for Sega Golden Axe series was closed, which leaves most powerful golden ax wielding across the country. I love animals last year."*
2. **Malay → English** - *"Who else has a pet dinosaur? I love eating dinosaurs my asshole. It feels so good. Dino ass taste great. This is actually my favorite things to do when I board or hungry or just looking for adventure in life. Unclean feeling walking into my mouth and down my throat is incomparable to anything else in the world."*

**SHAQ FU CRUISE | Episode 5**

1. **Italian → English** - *"You want to fight? come to fight. I hit ya with the "wa-psh-psh-psh", see, see. I get dirty after dark, treat you like Spielberg. You'll get your ass kicked in in a park. You do not believe me, the proof is in the pudding. Been a boy in the hood so before Cuba Gooding. The flip scrpits with pa-crazy style, freeze. Music please. The dribble rhymes like basketball-EMS. People call me E. T., (What is man that Shaq?) Extra-Tallems"*
2. **Irish → English** - *"Suprise, look who's back. No prize from Cracker Jack. See, it is Def Jef the Shaq attack. Flexin ', I will crackin your back to the boom-boom-bap. Pass that over here son, you is not gon 'want it back. Everyone said I got fat, yep, but so did my wallet. Still rhymes and dropping bombs like Muhammad Khalid track."*

**GLOVE ON BALLS | Episode 6**

1. **German → English** - *"I've started a glove on a rubbing myself because I love the way latex feels on the skin. It is soft by also gribs my skin really well. Especially when I go down to my happy area it feels so good. Gloves are one of my favorite inventions of all time."*
2. **French → English** - *"Slap my ass with your gloves. Please pray that you slap me. You're such a sexy animal when you slap me. I can not thank you enough to do it for me. You are my hero."*

**ALIEN INVASION | Episode 7**

1. **Romanian → English** - *"Triton now squirming ginger tom set down on the bench. Bishop tentatively reached out and comfort him. Jonesy seemed uncertain at first but quickly showed his petting. The texture was amazing, soft fur, warm, an incredible sensation to touch. It occurred to Bishop cats affection and confidence that was not something easily given, but it was all the more precious to her. Triton reached over and put her hand in Bishops tiny palm, grinning widely."*
2. **Italian → English** - *"Dry ice is frozen carbon dioxide. A block of dry ice has a surface temperature of -109.3 degrees Fahrenheit (-78.5 ° C). The dry ice also has the very nice feature of sublimation - as it breaks, is transformed directly into carbon dioxide rather than a liquid."*

**X-MEN SIMULATION | Episode 8**

1. **Welsh → English** - *"Glitchy always shit shit glitchy. Remember the good ol days "when all low res game glitchy? Some of these games are some of the best. I miss the old days."*
2. **Malay → English** - *"What would you do if you could have one superpower? I will have super butthole shit so I can put over your face, and you will like it. Tell us in the comments below what your favorite super power will be."*

**SUB ZERO MORTAL CRISIS | Episode 9**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"I've been up all night editing this, my eyes hurt a little. Currently the video is showing as I write this, I hope nothing goes wrong. Wish me luck."*
2. **Basque → English** -*"Grow my feet so I can suck and slurp out the gunk between my fingers I can do all I want, then I can reduce the size of my feet is normal and healthy living."*

**RUGRATS NOSTALGIA | Episode 10**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"Comprised of 31 states and one federal district, the nation of Mexico is home to the world's largest population of Spanish speakers. From the temples of Chichen Itza to the beaches of Cancun or the hustle and bustle of Mexico City, Mexico has a diverse landscape and rich history."*
2. **Russian → English** - *"Melanin is a pigment found in the skin and hair cells, that gives each color. It seems strange that the sun bleaches our hair and darkens our skin. Basically, this is due to hair, being dead and being alive skin. The sun bleaches and destroys the melanin in the hair gives you a lighter hair."*

**E.T. REJECTED SEQUEL | Episode 11**

1. **German → English** - *"Stone cold E.T. Will stun someone in his way. Stone cold E.T. Wants a burger, and he will absolutely stun everyone in his way. Stone cold E.T. Will a milkshake and every sad son of a bitch that comes in his way will get a hell that is hello her stunner in her face. Stone cold E.T. Is a hungry mother Mcflucker."*
2. **Hungarian → English** - *"Why are these games we play so bad? You really can not wait to play a game that is not full of crap and a game that is not a terrible film music. I can not wait to lick E.T asshole. It tastes absolutely delicious. Oh yes."*

**LION KING THROWBACK | Episode 12**

1. **Chinese → English** - *"Poor, Trevor. Endless torture, but this is the circle of life."*
2. **Greek → English** - *"Slowly take everything to the new office. The green screen is almost complete, we hope it will be fully functional."*

**WORST SANTA EVER | Episode 13**

1. **Russian → English** - *"It was a tough year for Santa. He had problems with the sleigh, and Miss Claus could not even stand in the same room with him, after he accidentally hired a demon who killed dozens of elves. These days you can find it in an abandoned workshop, drink a burdon - neat (neat is the best way to say only alcohol and without a mixer, perhaps in a more pleasant glass, but Santa uses only plastic cups for parties, because it reminds him of best days).*"