Timeline

The **Ninja Sex Party timeline** is a nebulous and controversial topic. This page attempts to piece it together using evidence from the albums, the music videos, and other sources.

## Sometime after 155,000,000 BC

* Supposedly, Stegosaurus, Tyrannosaurus, robots, sharks, and Martians have a laser fight and a laser party. Danny and Brian were in attendance, likely using the time machine they used in 6969.

## 5000 BC

Superpuma kills a caveman while fighting Rhinoceratops.

## 1100 AD

* In Japan, Arin Neverbone and Samurai Barry speak at a pro-abstinence rally.
* Arin and Barry travel over 500 years into the future using a hole in spacetime, in order to stop Danny Sexbang from having sex.

## 1200 AD

* Superpuma kills a knight while fighting Rhinoceratops.

## 1600 AD

* Danny and Ninja Brian are born. They both wear their iconic outfits as infants.

## 1635 AD

* Brian has a "celebrity-filled 35th birthday party held on international waters on a chartered yacht captained by supermodels".

## 1937 AD

* Danny ninja-thrusts so hard that he causes the *Hindenburg* disaster.

## Sometime between 1937 and 1978 AD

* Danny trades his traditional blue spandex for a the black garb of a ninja, becoming "Ninja Danny".

## 1945 AD

* The 1st Annual Boning Convention is held.

## 1977 AD

* Obiwan Kablowme dies and is buried in the Spooky Ass Graveyard.

## 1978 AD

* Ninja Danny murders somebody, while having a large afro.

## 1986 AD

* Ninja Danny murders somebody, while wearing a *Metallica* shirt and a mullet.

## 1994 AD

* Danny, with the appearance of a child, is visited by a future version of himself.
* Ninja Danny murders somebody, while wearing a sweatshirt tied around his waist.
* The Commodore 64 "dies".

## 1997 AD

* Danny and the Manticore go to Manticore Prom together.

## 2001 AD

### Post-September 11th, 2011

* In New York City, Ninja Danny abandons his ways and become a lustful dancer once more.

## 2010 AD

* Danny supposedly wins the NYC Penis Competition.

### September 14th, 2010

* Danny accuses Brian of being gay.
* Danny and Brian meet The Gay Ninjas.
* In retaliation for being called gay, Brian shoots Danny with a poison dart, causing him to fall down a cliff, and be shot with an "unnecessary second poison dart".

## C. 2009 AD

### Winter, 2009

* Danny and Brian throw a "Ninja Sex Party Party", feat. Shalom on the Range.
* Ninja Brian explodes a building with his mind, likely killing everyone but himself and Dan.

## C. 2010 AD

### March, 2010

* Danny lies to Kristen about the Sacred Chalice, in order to get a blowjob. He fails.

## 2013 AD

* Superpuma kills Justin Bieber while fighting Rhinoceratops.
* Rhinoceratops and Superpuma destroy the country of France, including the Eiffel Tower.
* Rhinoceratops urinates on Cuba.
* During Rhinoceratops and Superpuma's battle, 1,000,000 people die.
* Superpuma and Rhinoceratops end their "giant-ass war" when Danny and Brian rock so hard that Rhinoceratops and Superpuma begin
* to have sex with eachother.

## 2014 AD

* Danny makes a time machine and a rocket ship.
* Danny and Brian travel to 6969 AD.

### September 2014

* Danny gets a girlfriend and they date for a few weeks.
* Danny and his girlfriend go to Boner Prom 3000.

### Cocktober 2014

* Brian and Danny supposedly go on a road trip, world tour, then a space trip of boning. Dan supposedly dies in space, but came back to life.

### Late 2014

* The 69th Annual Boning Convention, featuring Ninja Sex Party and Steel Panther, is held.

## 2015 AD

### February 1st, 2015

* Danny supposedly wins Super Bowl XLIX for the New England Patriots on his own.

#### Post-February, 2015

* Danny supposedly cures all diseases.
* Brian kills Danny's patient.

#### One Week Later

* Danny unsuccessfully hits on a girl, by claiming to have slain a dragon.

#### After "Dragon Slayer"

* Danny, Brian, 'Tude Bro, and 'Tude Dude form a gang and take over Attitude City.
* Danny acts sensitive to get a girlfriend who likes sensitive guys.

#### Spring, 2015

* Danny unsuccessfully hits on a girl.
* Danny, Brian, 'Tude Bro, and 'Tude Dude defeat some thugs.

## 2112 AD

### February, 2112 AD

* The Earth catches on fire.
* Danny Sexbang takes of moniker of the "Unicorn Wizard.
* Brian kills a mugger.
* Brian is dubbed "Princess Handjob".

## Sometime Between the 22nd Century and 6969 AD

* The Council of Dick Elders takes control of Earth.
* Human touch is outlawed on Earth.

## 6969 AD

### Spring, 6969

* Danny and Brian arrive on Earth after time traveling.
* A billion-person orgy takes place.
* The Dick Elders are killed by Brian.

## c. 10,302,000 AD

* "Danny awoke on the surface of Gropinius IV in the #Butt system. Robot Brian was asleep on top of him, his metal mouth surrounding Danny's still-erect and still-not-very-impressive dick."
* Daniel Y. Sexbang, dies at the age of about 10,300,400 years old.
* Danny's death results in the extinction of the human race.

## References

1. ↑ Ninja Sex Party (August 17, 2011). "Dinosaur Laser Fight - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
2. ↑ **Note:** T-Rexes did not exist in 155 Million years ago
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 Ninja Sex Party (January 23, 2014). "Rhinoceratops vs. Superpuma - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
> Ninja Sex Party (November 19, 2014). "Peppermint Creams - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
>
>
>
5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 5.2 5.3 Ninja Sex Party (May 10, 2016). "Samurai Abstinence Patrol" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
6. ↑ **Note:** Danny is Jewish and was born in the year 1600, and according to Wikipedia: *"According to Jewish law, when Jewish boys become 13 years old, they become accountable for their actions and become a bar mitzvah."*
7. ↑ 7.0 7.1 7.2 7.3 *The Beej by Ninja Brian*
8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 8.2 8.3 8.4 8.5 Ninja Sex Party (October 22, 2009). "I Just Want To (Dance) - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
9. ↑ 9.0 9.1 9.2 9.3 9.4 Ninja Sex Party (August 22, 2015). "Road Trip - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
10. ↑ **Note:** The 69th Annual Boning Convention was held in 2014 (see below), 2014 - 69 = 1945
11. ↑ Ninja Sex Party (February 12, 2015). "Everybody Shut Up (I Have an Erection) - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
12. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard\_Nixon#Resignation
13. ↑ Ninja Sex Party (June 25, 2018). "Danny Don't You Know - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
14. ↑ Ninja Sex Party (July 15, 2011). "Manticore - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
15. ↑ **Note:** The NYC skyline in the music video for "I Just Want To (Dance)" indicates that it is set post-9/11.
16. ↑ 16.0 16.1 Ninja Sex Party (December 5, 2011). "FYI I Wanna F Your A - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
17. ↑ 17.0 17.1 17.2 Ninja Sex Party (October 8, 2010). "If We Were Gay - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
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18. ↑ **Note:** Brian is seen reading the September 14th, 2010 issue of Greater New York (source)
19. ↑ 19.0 19.1 19.2 Ninja Sex Party (June 11, 2013). "Let's Get This Terrible Party Started - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
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20. ↑ **Note:** The *Angry Birds* hat and the *Dungeons and Dragons: Forgotten Realms Campaign Guide* are both contemporary with 2009
21. ↑ Ninja Sex Party (July 22, 2010). "Ninja Sex Party - The Sacred Chalice (Part 1 of 4)" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
22. ↑ **Note:** A calendar in Dan's room says it's March
23. ↑ Ninja Sex Party (Feb 1, 2012). "NSP Theme Song - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
24. ↑ **Note:** Brian is seen reading the October 31st, 2011 edition of the *New York Post*
25. ↑ 25.0 25.1 25.2 25.3 25.4 25.5 25.6 Ninja Sex Party (September 8, 2016). "6969 - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
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26. ↑ **Note:** Their rocket is later seen in "Road Trip". They're shown to be familiar with it, but it's still relevantly new since they apparently used it enough for Dan not to know he would die.
27. ↑ **Note:** A calendar displays "Cocktober, 2014". The One World Trade Center (completed in 2013) is shown in the New York City scene.
28. ↑ Note: "Road Trip"must take place prior to "Rhinoceratops vs. Superpuma", because an intact Eiffel Tower is seen during "Road Trip"
29. ↑ **Note:** A calendar displays "Cocktober, 2014". Steel Panther asking if NSP "had a good year of boning" implies that the convention is taking place late in the same year
30. ↑ 30.0 30.1 30.2 30.3 Ninja Sex Party (February 21, 2014). "Dragon Slayer" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
31. ↑ **Note:** The *Minecraft* backdrop could only be created with a texture of Iron Blocks, which were not introduced until November 18th, 2011 (source). The Patriots have only won one Super Bowl since 2011, Super Bowl XLIX (source).
32. ↑ 32.0 32.1 32.2 Ninja Sex Party (June 24, 2014). "Attitude City - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
33. ↑ **Note:** Danny is seen with a "So Tuff" tattoo on his right bicep. His right bicep is seen in "Dragon Slayer", but no tattoo or post-removal scar is seen. This places "Attitude City" farther ahead in the timeline.
34. ↑ Ninja Sex Party (August 8, 2014). "Why I Cry - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).
35. ↑ **Note:** Footage from Dan's battle with the Awesome Karate Bears is shown in a theater
36. ↑ 36.0 36.1 36.2 36.3 Ninja Sex Party (October 25, 2012). "Unicorn Wizard - NSP" Retrieved August 20, 2021 (Video).