Time Travel Blues

## Post-S5E31: Summertime Sadness

“Sam?”

Sam looked up suddenly. She had been staring into her ice cream thinking about earlier. She had been so easily entranced by the song and almost hurt people because of it, but Elena snapped her out of it and now here she was. “Yeah. Sorry. What's up, Elena?”

“Are you okay?” She tilted her in concern.

“Yeah,” Sam’s brow furrowed and they shook their head slightly, “just wasn’t really here, if you know what I mean.”

“I do.” She nodded. “Do you want to go for a walk? Maybe we can find some place to talk.”

Sam smiled slightly. “I’d like that. Where do you want to go?”

“Where do you want to go?”

Sam mulled over the question for a moment before shrugging. “I don’t know. Everything has changed so much.”

Elena thought for a long moment. It was hard to think of something that hadn’t changed. It was only natural. In fact, she was glad things had changed from the 50s, they weren’t exactly good. Yet, it did feel strange seeing her former present now far history forgotten to time. It had to be harder it be recent, things echoing even more similarly. Elena grabs Sam’s hand. “Let’s go to Halcyon City Nature Park, I think that was established around when I was around. It’s so pretty and maybe a few things changed but I bet it’s the same as when you were here, or mostly the same, minus whatever had to be fixed from hero junk.”

Sam was surprised by Elena’s touch, but glad for it. It was grounding, reminding them of the here and now. “Lead the way.” They quickly shoved their garbage in the can as they left. “Are we taking Aphrodite?”

Elena nodded her head. “Ya, I’ll text Maria, they’ll just fuse back with me if I kick something or anything like that.”

She hopped over to the bike excited to drive it the beauty her own body again, Elena loved that bike. After sending the text she hopped on and said, “Ready for a blast from the past? Oh ya, there is a big tree there now. Do you want to go to the beach instead? What do you prefer?”

“Oh. You know, when you think about it, the beach always changes too. I might as well get used to it.” Sam said, a hint of remorse in her voice, and climbed on the bike behind Elena, wrapping her arms around her. “Let’s go to the park. I want to see this big tree.” They pressed against her and closed their eyes. She was glad to feel the bike kick to life and start moving.

Elena loved ridding on Aphrodite, being on a motorcycle felt like freedom to her. So long in her life she felt trapped, like the chains of conforming were tugging ever harder even when she tried to resist.  Now Elena could be herself, fully, no hiding anything. The road took them to the massive nature reserve park. The Zodiac Tree was massive, after all it held a whole city on it.  Still the park was as lovely as she remembered it.

Sam couldn’t help but stare at the tree as they approached. They had heard about the tree from their parents and just in passing from living in the city, but never seen it up close. “Wow,” they whispered softly.

Elena parked her bike and pulled off her helmet, rapidly tending to her hair to not look bad in front of her newest crush. She smiled at her while doing it “This whole place is so big; I could show you where I had my first picnic with my ex.”

They shook out of their stupor at Elena’s suggestion. “Yeah, sure.” They reflexively held out their hand for Elena to take once more after climbing off the bike.

Silently, she wondered if it was the same spot she would stop on her hikes with Kathrin to make out. They had never been the type of couple for a picnic.

Elena reached for Sam to take her hand. The woman was excited to find that spot again. Elena hiked along with Sam, just taking in nature, not talking right now. Things looked really similar to how she remembered them, obviously nature always changes but the beauty, the trees, they seemed to mostly be the same. Elena spotted the place she used to hang out with Mara.  She said, “Here it is, this was my favorite place in the whole park.”

Elena sat by a tree and patted the ground next to herself, where she had been taken to the first time Mara showed her what real magic looked like. She cut her own memories off to focus on the present, here with Sam right now.

Sam sat down beside Elena with a warm smile on his face as memories swam through his mind. “I, um, I actually used to come here with Kat, though not for picnics. This spot is beautiful. Thanks for bringing me here, Elena.” She smiled at her then looked down at her feet. “Funny how the same spot can be so important to two couples 30-something years apart.” They laughed to themselves. “And then again to half of each couple another 30-something years after that.”

Elena giggled for a moment then the giggle turned into a full laugh. After a moment she said, “It really is funny. This whole world is. Nothing makes sense and it’s amazing.”

She scooted closer just a bit. “So, tell me about your partner, if it isn’t too much to ask. This spot is where I’d let lose all my emotions and say how I really felt. I think it’s magic.”

Sam held her head in her hands for a moment, let out a heavy sigh, then leaned back and began. “Kat was great. She got all my jokes and made me laugh. She liked the same movies and music as me. She got the whole gender thing the first time I explained it. And I didn’t know the word genderqueer back then. I just knew what I felt and tried to explain it and she got it. She was the reason I became a hero back in ’87. We hadn’t been doing it long before I came here, but we started dating October 31st of 1985. She wore this ridiculous jazzercise outfit she borrowed from her mom and I dressed as Jem from Jem and the Holograms. Now, you gotta keep in mind the show was brand new. It was maybe 3 episodes in by Halloween, but she knew who I was immediately. She came right up to me at this party a friend of ours was throwing and said she loved the show. By the end of the night, she had gotten me to sing to her and told me I had the most beautiful voice she ever heard. I told her she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen and we kissed.”

Sam paused. They could feel themselves getting choked up and swallowed it back down. “When I first came here, Old Sam, the future me, and her were fighting. Like, she threw him into the ground and made a crater fighting. Sam said that they’re on such bad terms because he signed her up for G.R.E.Y. because she was having trouble. She was angrier, more reckless as a hero, more closed off. G.R.E.Y. had this program for kids 13-18 with powers who were having trouble – or getting into trouble – with them and Sam thought it was a great idea. Kat went along with it, but when she came out, she dumped Sam and went full villain. He still doesn’t understand or know what happened to her in there...” Sam released another heavy sigh. “I wish I could be sure that because we’re both here Old Sam’s timeline and mine are separate and there’s no way I’m going to become like her and no way Kat is going to become like Seismic, but I could see what she was talking about.” She looked over at Elena for the first time in her speech. “Before I left Kat was more on edge. We never used to fight but a few days before I came here we had a big one and I couldn’t even tell you what it was about. Nothing real. Not what was actually bothering her. We didn’t break up and I still love her. I just... I don’t know what’s waiting for me if I go back. What if I do and in 30-whatever years I’m facing a younger version of me telling me I did my whole life wrong?”

Elena was engaged in the cute little gay romantic story, the gender queer cutie and their sweet girlfriend. It was nice, really nice. She also understood the reference, Maria had shown her Jem and The Holograms, she said she always liked Pizzazz and that she was one of her inspirations to perform. As the tone shifted Elena put her hand on Sam’s arm in an attempt to comfort her as he spoke.  Elena knew of G.R.E.Y from Maria’s research, so she knew enough to know how much of a mistake that was.

Elena assured Sam, “You are not going to be like the future you. Ze made a massive mistake, maybe more than one but you're going to know them. He isn’t you, you’re different because even if you left back in time tomorrow you have dealt with new experiences, new lessons.” She continued, trying not to lay blame since clearly this was super sensitive, “And Kat in the past sounds like she has to open up to you for things to really work out right. If you could have known what was keeping her on edge you would have helped.”

Elena took a deep breath and tried to be as comforting as possible as she said, “I don’t know how long you’ll be in this timeline, but before you go back, you’ll have me helping you. You don’t have to do it alone, if you want to that is.”

“Thank you.” Sam leaned into the touch. “I don’t know how long I’ll be here either and it’s been hard to connect with people, which really stinks because it was so easy for me in my time.” She placed her hand on Elena’s. “So, I really appreciate that. And anything I can do, which is probably not a lot because I’m still learning things, but I’ll be there for you too.” They removed their hand to count on their fingers and chuckled lightly. “Time travel, relationship troubles, good music? I’m there. Bikbok and chitter, not so much.” He smiled softly. “Did you want to talk about your ex?”

Elena smiled as Sam leaned in, she wasn’t sure if making a move would be appropriate. It probably wouldn’t be but even if this was just friendly, it was nice. Elena said with confidence, “If you end up going back, then you can come say hi to me, assuming I still existence in that timeline or whatever. If you say you’re a friend from another world, I’d understand and I get along great with old people so we’ll be friends again.”

The girl giggled a bit, she didn’t want to not take it seriously, but she was serious. She knew if Sam wanted to be friends, it could happen. After all they would still have a lot in common, like this spot right here. Why was she being so fast to this friendship? She wasn’t sure, but she felt this strong connection and it had to mean something.

It was Elena’s turn to open up and she twirled her hair a bit nervously. Normally Elena talked to people about their feelings. Maria, EliZe, Fearless, she could talk to them, but they were connected so deeply. Elena spoke, taking a second, remembering the magic of this place and channeling it into her vocal cords, “Ya, I think it’s only fair. Her name was Mara, Mara Le Fay. We meet in school, she was new in town freshmen year, we had first period together. She was the swellest gal, I was totally dame dazed. My parents had told me to keep those feelings inside and it wasn’t safe but I for once went for it and made a move.”

She leaned back looking into the sky, her voice was happy with just a hint of sorrow. “I asked her on a date to the roller rink, it’s still around actually they just recently updated it. She said yes. We skated and we danced and then we had this warm embrace and... I knew I made the right choice.”

Sam smiled at the warm, cute story, wishing it wasn’t going to become as dark as his own love story, but knowing it would.

Elena got a bit sadder, cutting a bit further ahead in this tale. “Her mom was Morgan Le Fay, a powerful immortal witch, she was training under her. Mara never told me what her mom's plans were for her, just that she had them. When we broke up senior year, she got mean about it, probably just to make sure it sunk in, that it was really over. I told her we could run away to the USSR and start a new life, but she decided I wasn’t worth it, I guess. Mara was a really nice girl, a bit of a troublemaker, powerful, assertive, she knew when to play her part and when to let loose... She was everything to me back then. “

Elena turned around and tapped the tree where a slightly faded carving of Mara and Elena’s name was. She smiled confidently and her tone turned happier. “But that was then, this is now. I am happier than I ever was then. I want to find out what happened to her and I got a massive lead but, I wouldn’t go back even if I knew she would get back with me if I did. I shall find other girlfriends or partners or both, a combo would be nice.”

“I’m sorry it ended that way and if you ever want help finding out what happened to her, give me a call and I’ll be there. I'm glad you’re doing better now. I hope I can be like you some day,” Sam stated solemnly.

Elena smiled at Sam, did that mean he was considering staying? She nods her head and assures Sam, “If you don’t end up being like me, we’ll just get you a way back, home, right? I feel like most the big team has time traveled at least once.”

Sam then turned more toward Elena and crossed his legs. With a big smile on his face and his chin resting on his hands, he said, “And I'm sure you'll find the perfect combo of girlfriends and partners. Do you have any leads on that? Or is it too soon?” Their eyes passed over Elena’s face, hoping they weren’t being rude. They just wanted to help her feel better, make her laugh again.

She blushed at her as they asked that question. Dammit Sam was so adorable; Elena why were you such a romantic? Elena took a second to compose herself and then said “Well, yes there is a few. The pearls of being as gay me, I crush hard and fast. "

The 50’s girl laughs to herself a bit then says with confidence “Well, there are a few me, Fearless and Maria are all into to varying degrees.”  Then Elena leans in staring at Sam’s eyes. In a teasing but serious tone, she said “I have a crush of my own, but you seem to be already taken.”

Sam breathed in as Elena leaned closer. It wasn’t intentional or planned she just happened to need air as she approached. Then Elena’s confession and Sam's breath caught in their throat. It couldn’t leave. There was no room for it with Elena's words filling the space between them. Sam's heart raced and he gulped but he still needed to breathe, and he couldn’t do that with her so close. He leaned back slightly and the air trapped in his lungs was finally able to escape. They looked down, unable to look at Elena as they spoke.

“I… I am. Yeah.” They gulped. “I'm flattered though. You’re- you're beautiful and I'm sure you'll find plenty of partners. I just… I can’t. Not now. Not yet.” Sam stumbled over themselves. They wanted to. It would be so nice to just lean forward and kiss her, but that would be cheating on Kat, they were pretty sure. The pair hadn’t exactly discussed what their relationship status would be of one was ever accidentally transported to the future. “I'm sorry.” They stared into Elena's eyes, pleading for forgiveness. As much as they might have liked more if circumstances were different, she really needed a friend right now, and he was scared to drive Elena away.

Elena giggled a bit. She couldn’t help it. She knew this was serious and she knew the moment was perfect for something more but, honestly this was totally fine with her. She looked seriously, an honest smile on her face. “Sam, I didn’t invite you out with me to seduce you, I want to be your friend. That’s more important to me than having a partner as adorable as you.”

Elena put her arms out for another hug, she didn’t expect Sam to feel the same for her. She just believed in being open and honest with her romantic feelings, then if they ever feel the same there is no questioning if she was into them. Friendship wasn’t a downgrade from romance, it was just a different dynamic and different for every person.

Sam smiled and eagerly moved in for the hug, wrapping his arms tightly around Elena. “Thank you.”

Elena hugged Sam tightly, assuring him that they were good. Sam’s hugs were great, Elena was loving it but eventually she broke it. Elena stood up and tapped the tree “So my gender queer friend, is there anything else you want to talk about? If not, I wouldn’t mind just strolling around with you a bit longer before I take you wherever you want to be.”

Sam stood as well. “A stroll sounds great.”