If Your Devices Were People

***"Is it because I’m black?"* — Black, "If Colors Were People"**
This content has mature content that may not be intended for minors or it may be offensive.

**Note**: Printer said fudge, the censored version of the F word, yet he says it again.
This page was last edited on December 8, 2023, at 4:20:03.

## If Your Devices Were People

What if your phone, laptop, tablet, and other smart devices had a meeting to sync up?

### Director

Frank James

If Your Devices Were People is the fifth episode of If Things Were People.

## Plot

Laptop tells everyone to get connected and in sync. Phone tells everyone to look at a squirrel. Tablet doesn’t know why Laptop is in charge and says he can run meetings like him and has Google Docs. Phone tells everyone to chill and says everyone uses Tablet to watch YouTube til they fall asleep. TV asks if someone said binged watch and apologizes that he is late. He also says he is hooked to The Bachelorette and says they can stream on him in 4K. Tablet complains and says people can watch him on the toilet. Phone complains to him and says they watch YouTube on him on the toilet. Tablet says he doesn’t get dropped in. Phone asks where it is going. Laptop asks Printer if he can get today’s agenda. Printer says he is jammed up. Laptop asks it’s always something with him. Printer tries to curse but says fudge. Laptop asks him if he can do his job reliably. Printer tells him it hurts him and also says he would print tears but he is out of blue ink. Game asks if they are done and says he has turtles to smash with a hammer. Phone complains and says someone toke a picture of their boyfriend. Tablet asks if they can stop and tells the other devices they have work to do. Fridge then asks the devices if someone asked how cold their food was. Tablet asks why would anyone ask that. Fridge answers and says they want to make sure their milk is at 37 degrees F and three degrees C at all times. Phone tells him he got an ad for milk and says they are listening to them. Fridge says while they are checking on their milk they can watch Batman on his LCD display. Game tells Fridge he is lame and no one needs him, Laptop asks who someone is. Pager tells him he is a wireless telecommunication device that receives messages. Phone said he googled it and says he is just a pager. Pager tells him he is correct and talks how he has 5G is. Phone says he has 5G. Laptop asks Pager why he is here and says it’s not 1989. Phone says he loves the Taylor Swift album and says he will listen to it. Tablet says he can listen to music too. Pager says he still has a service and says he needs a replacement battery and asks if anyone can bring him to the nearest radio shack. Laptop says sure and says Printer can print a MapQuest direction for him. Pager tells him that he knows he is insulting him and says he can’t hear what he is saying because he lost connection to wifi. Game complains and gets shocked because the wifi is down and he almost completes a game. Laptop asks if anyone has Wi-Fi and says if they don’t have Wi-Fi then they can’t talk to each other. TV complains and says he can’t watch his shows. Phone says he is still accessed to the internet. Fridge complains he is not a smart fridge anymore and says he is just a fridge. Tablet complains and says he wishes he knew it was a mistake going wifi only. Pager makes everyone wish they had their own transmission network and says he ran out of battery then faints to the floor. Router comes in and says he woke up late. Tablet says that is the issue. TV says he has a show withdraw. Laptop tells someone to turn him off and on again. Printer starts printing something while the devices are fighting. Then Router plugs the cable back in and everyone gets better. Then Every Device says they are back online. Printer tries printing what he was printing but fails and says fudge again. Ending the episode.

## Characters

* Laptop
* Phone
* Tablet
* TV
* Printer
* Game
* Fridge
* Pager
* Router

## Deaths

1. Pager ran out of battery and fell to the floor.

## Trivia

* Fridge is the largest device in this episode.
* Phone is the smallest device in the episode.