Don't Mess With Thexus

**Don't Mess With Thexus** is the 5th Episode of Season 1 of the *ZongueBob and Friends Adventures* series. When finding a place to crash and hide from the Villain Legion, Sonny suggests her homeworld of Thexus to meet her family, who end up in massive debt to high bidders, and with help from an old friend of Sonny named Fortune Juck, as well as four hopeless mute animals named Osqer, Pophy, Vick, And Haraci, a vigilante who retired when losing his leg, they discover from his egotistical former partner, a Jaker named Bucky, that there's a huge bounty on a local criminal named Slim Chancey, a Spucker and former land baron who was fired for criminal acts and now seeks to take all land and create a more modern society with stolen Oxydome technology. What makes it hard to capture him is not only the selfish and stubborn Bucky who wants to capture Slim after being cut from the case for a selfish act that cost Juck his leg, but also Slim's ability to tame and hypnotize any animal he wants via yodeling. Thus they must find a way to stop Slim and save Sonny's family home.

## Scenes

#### **Prologue**

Houston, Texas, SpongeBob's World

* Manny: (With the Lodgers and Loungers) Yeesh, y'all got me all worked up!! I thought y'all was them Martians again!

Cutaway

* Martian #1: (German accent) YOU RODENTS ARE STOOPID, JA!!!! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE A LONG SQUIGGLY TURD ON YOUR BUTTS!!! CAN YOU SAY SCA-
* Manny: YOU WANNA COME DOWN HERE AND SAY THAT?! I'LL MAKE YOU SMELL MAH TURDS!!!
* Martian #1: HOW D'YOU KNOW I'M NOT INTO THAT, TURDTAIL?!
* Martian #2: Dude, you're pushing it.
* Martian #1: HAH, GOOD ONE, MAC!!!!

Present

* Sonny: What makes you say that? The Oxydome doesn't look TOO much like a flying saucer.
* Manny: I said UFO.
* Sonny: That term isn't really a specific one. Flying saucer is more specific for the traditional UFO look.
* SpongeBob: I still don't get why you don't need a water helmet and I do.
* ZongueBob: Just my cartoonish luck I guess.
* Randy: "So, you guys are the Clam Loungers, right? The so called, Sudo-Shell Louge Squad? No offence, but, you guys might have a problem with originally here."
* Ruke: RIGHT?! I'M STILL OPEN HERE!!!
* Raiyna: WE'RE NOT DOING BOOTLEG, RUKE!!!
* Ruke: UGH, YOU GUYS ARE F\*\*\*\*\*G KNEEP!!! PIRACY ISN'T SO BAD, IT'S JUST GETTING THINGS YOU WANT FOR FREE!!!
* Sam: EXACTLY!!!! THERE'S NO JUSTIFYING COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!!!
* Ruke: OH, HI KETTLE, NAME'S POT, HAS YOUR BUTT NUGGET PRODUCER BEEN ARRESTED YET?!
* Audrey: Oy! Are you guys always this loud?!
* Ceptward: "Try hanging out with us on our usual business and THEN ask that."

#### **Meeting Sonny's Family**

Thexus Space

* (ZongueBob): I suggested we hide in Sonny's homeworld.
* (Sandy)/Sonny: Why? Wouldn't that be an obvious location?
* ZongueBob: That's the beauty of it. As long as they know we know that, they won't look there.
* (Sandy)/Sonny:... That's surprisingly brilliant.
* Master Cen: And what if they look anyway?
* ZongueBob: If they did, we'd know they'd do it and stay away.
* Cephward: "Well about the possability of if they know we know they know we know that and do it anyway and surprise us?"
* Sau: You're asking a question that'll be stacked up by the answer because of idiotic logic, Cephward. We'd know their moves and they would for us. We'd literally be in a loop of outsmarting and guessing. They'd prefer not to take the chance we'd expect them. If they do end up attacking, they'd have to do something indirectly and leave Sonny's parents out of it.
* Sonny: Exactly. They'd have to do something unpredictable like, I don't know, a random villain scheme.
* Glora: Please! Even THEY wouldn't stoop to basic villain schemes.
* Mr. Tetrus: "Ain't wise to expect villains to be too prideful for small scale work. Something like the VA didn't became 14 years of horrendusness overnight without starting out small. I bet ya, they did ALOT of small scale things before they gotten as far as they did."
* Marphy: Like what?
* Mr. Tetrus: Eh, maybe help a bandit and criminal mastermind steal whatever possible to become the best omnic baron in the territory?
* Elmen:... Oddly specific guess.
* Mr. Tetrus: "But likely accreate. All problems start out small. And only arrgance in thinking they won't be a problem would allow them to grow. I bet people never really took the VA's uprising in Peerbon all that seriously, before it was too late."
* Sonny: Well regardless, I think I owe my parents a little visit. They've probably wanted a lil' visit since what they likely heard 'bout me. You'll love them, ZongueBob. They're profitable kelp farmers for the Salty Sea Greens business. Sells edible seaweed.
* Pho: You can eat seaweed?
* Trigress: Of course you can eat seaweed. Some countries and oceanic worlds have it as part of their cuisine.
* Sonny: And Salty Sea Greens are the best business to sell it.
* Master Cen: Well let's hope that the Villain Legion is too desperate for a break after the major beatings we give them.
* Pho: Amen to that.
* Lady Hush: "Unfortunately, I'm worried that such a thing is too much on wishful thinking."
* ZongueBob: Eh, we'll worry about it later. Let's go meet your parents and get their blessing, you adorable little fish.
* Sonny: (Giggles) Zongue, you always know how to turn me on. Besides, you ain't got much to worry about out here in home. What kind of idiotic animals could possibly be hopeless out there?

Thexus

* This song played as four animals mirroring Oscar, Poppy, Harchi, and Buck were seen in a comical debacle identical to Lucky Jack's in the beginning of *Home on the Range*

* Sonny: (The Oxydome landed on the island)... (Breathed in comically) AHHHHHHHH!!! Sweet sweet marsh smell. That's home.
* Master Cen: "Now, everyone, I want to make a decent first impression here, so try not to do anything extremely stupid."
* Atrick: "(Was seen with snowboarding gear) Like this?! (Zooms off with it on the hover-snowboard breaking out of the ship) TO THE EXTREME?!"
* Master Cen: "...... (Facepalm) WHY DO I BOTHER?!"
* Atrick: HANG TAN!!! (He blasted around the place comically and yet not damaging too much until he fell off and the board wreaked havoc in a similar fashion to this)

* Master Cen:... AND WHY DO WE STAND THERE WATCHING ALL THIS CHAOS?!?
* Alpha Rolf: Because he won't learn if we do.
* Cephward: He NEVER learns, you idiot! He's the master of not learning!! Now we gotta clean up HIS mess.
* Sonny: I got it. (She makes commands that digitally repair and stop the board) Oh, man. Sorry about that folks!
* Inhabitant #1: It's okay! We're fine! Everybody's fine!
* Inhabitant #2: That was scary!
* Atrick:... THAT WAS AWESOME!!! DO THAT AGAIN!!!
* Sonny/Inhabitants: DO NOT DO THAT AGAIN!!!!
* Master Cen: "Nice one, you idiot! You made us all look like trouble makers?!"
* ???: "I'll take that as a confession!"
* Some Deputies arrived and surrounded the group.
* Deputy 1: "You're under arrest for disturbing the peace and damage to perfectly fertile lands."
* Sonny: Whoa, easy there, officer. The only worthy punishment for his destructive stupidity is with us.
* Deputy 2: According to who?
* Sonny: According to the Clam Loungers. That's us. We rescued too many worlds to punish through local authorities.
* Deputy 3: "Never heard of ya."
* Cephward: Trust us, officer, we're doing you a favor. Last time he went to jail, he burned down and destroyed the entire prison. He's TOOOOOOOOOOOO good for common jail.
* Deputy 1: "...... Your just trying to scare us! Let's book 'im, boys!"
* Cephward: Don't believe me? Just you wait. He's too dangerous to be in jail. It's best to leave punishments to us.
* Deputy 2: Oh, sure, keep going. Our jail is idiot-proof.

1 hour later...

* Atrick: (He destroyed the entire prison) Whoopsie-daisy.
* All Criminals: YAAAAAAAY!!!!
* Cephward: (As the cops' jaws dropped)...... We tried to warn you.
* Sonny: (Sighs and does another digital command to repair the prison)
* All Criminals: NOOOOOOOO!!!!
* Sonny: Ahh shaddap! We're sorry for this, Warden. We're taking Atrick. Only we can keep him under control.
* Warden: YES!! FOR THE LOVE OF GODS, GET THAT DUMB MONSTER AWAY FROM US!!!
* Sonny: Sure thing. We're just here to see my family. Good day, officers. (They left)
* Deputy 3: HOW CAN A MONSTER LIKE THAT EVEN EXIST?! I ASK YOU!!!!
* Deputy 4: "..... Thank gods I'm one day away from retirement."

Sonny's Family Farm

* Sonny: Here she is, everyone. Good ol' Bubbles Ranch. Been my family's home for 2 generations.
* Cephward:... That explains why it's seen better days. (Sonny slapped him in the nose) AOAOAOAOAOAO!!!
* Sonny: You best not let my parents and twin brothers and sisters hear that.
* Pho: Geez, how many siblings do you have?
* Sonny: Six. Rodents are crazy breeders. Still an anomaly we have two breasts.
* ZongueBob: Hot ones, too.
* Sonny: Zongue, don't embarrass me in front of my family, will ya?
* ???: Sonny girl? Is that you? (An identical Hydrocabiais appeared behind her)
* Sonny: Heeey, Sally!
* Sally: What brings you here?
* Sonny: Well, I owe my new friends here a visit. So... Meet mah boyfriend, ZongueBob.
* Sally:... Yer' dating an asexual critter?
* Male Hydrocabiais: That's creepy on so many levels. (Hacks and spits)
* Sonny: Oy! Howdy, Dirthy.
* Dirthy: "Ya know, I was with some friends earlier and I heard that one of yer friends messed up the Deputies badly."
* Atrick: "Hi, I'm Atrick."
* Sonny: Well they tried to arrest him for a load of property damage but then we proved that Atrick is too good for prison. Good thing I have digital assembly to fix all he destroyed.
* Dirthy: Right. I can tell he's trouble the first time I saw him.
* Atrick: (Chuckles wildly)
* Cephward: Welcome to Dummy Safety University. Don't put a dummy in jail if he can destroy the entire place.
* Sonny: So, where's Ma and Pa?
* Sally: In the yard and still young.
* Sonny: Great. They'll be glad to see me. They'd wanna meet my boyfriend after how much they might've heard.
* ZongueBob: Oh, boy. This is it. Someone make me look nice.
* Atrick: Sure thing, buddy! (Rips out a bush and makes it his hair)
* Sonny: (Giggles) Just be yourself, Zongue. It's not like they're going to be like Dirty Dirthy here.
* Atrick: Can he still wear the wig?
* Dirthy: You'll regret sayin' that about me later, Sonny.
* Sonny: Nah, I don't think so. Let's not remind them of what happened to drive me to depression with Sau here.
* Sau: Yeah, no offense, Dirthy, but you're too tactless and mean for this.
* Dirthy: You don't know me.
* Sau: No, but I can analyze you and find out. (Dirthy was silent)... Next time, think before being a smartaleck. Come on, guys. (They entered the yard as Sonny's Mom sung beautifully while working a kelp garden)
* Sonny: MAAAAAA, PAAAAAA, I'M HOOOOOOME!!
* Jokey: "Am I the only one who feels like a song is about to go on?"

* ZongueBob: (Sobbing a bit)... That was beautiful. I can see where Sonny gets her good singing voice from.
* Sonny's Mom: SONNY! My sweet successful angel. (She hugs her)
* Cadet: Wow! They really are still young.
* Scowalski: Rodent aging is slightly slower than sentient aging.
* ZongueBob: Yeah, and it's also easy to see where Sonny gets her hot looks from.
* Sonny's Mom:... You're Sonny's new boyfriend?... Thought you'd be taller and more... Manly.
* ZongueBob: I'M PLENTY MANLY, FOR YOUR INFORMATION! I've got manliness coming out of my holes.
* Sonny's Dad: (Marches outside) What's all the yellin'?! I'm tryin'a watch mah soaps here.
* Sonny's Mom: Homer, our daughter Sonny's home!
* Sonny: You watch soaps now?
* Homer: (Gasps) SONNY GAL!!! YOU'RE HOME!!! (He hugs her strangling her comically)
* Cephward: And people wonder where she gets her strength from.
* Sonny:... Hey... Pa!... Choking, not breathing!!
* Atrick: I thought you could hold your breath for a long time.
* Sonny: NOT... HELPING... ATRICK!!
* Homer: Heeey... (He lets go of Sonny as she gasps comically)... Ain't you the idiot who tore down the Maximum Ease Prison?
* Cephward: Nobody ever learns that the fat idiot is too dangerous for jail.
* Sonny: I fixed the damages, Pa. Nobody was hurt. We're the only punishment Atrick needs.
* Commander: So you're Sonny's parents?
* Sonny's Mom: Well what'd you expect, random new occupants who moved in?
* Homer: (Laughs with Sonny's other siblings) Oh, Sosha!
* Sonny: (Laughs) Oh, Ma, you slay me.
* Atrick: CHILDICIDE!!!!! (Taking out an axe) I'LL SAVE YOU, SONNY!!!
* Sau: (Digitally summons away the axe) It was a metaphor, Atrick.
* Sosha:... Well... Homer, this zongue is... Sonny's boyfriend.
* Homer:... You date an asexual critter? Creepy on so many levels.
* Mr. Tetrus: ZongueBob welcomed her to our hometown and got her to kick out her legs, and we saved an alien race. Your daughter is quite rowdy and techy for her age.
* ZongueBob: Your daughter is just a joy to help out. I was happy to heal her past wounds. She's just so interesting. Have you even known how good she can sing?
* Sosha: Oh, of course we do. Takes it after her Ma. I was quite the singer back in the day.
* Cephward: As per demonstrated.
* Sosha: Yeah, but it used to be MUCH better. Age is still a bitch sometimes.
* Homer: You better believe it, son. Regardless, Sosha STILL has the best voice on the entire island. But Sonny? Our little woman's got the voice of an angel, just like her mommy when she was her age. But must ask... What makes you so charming for my little girl?
* ZongueBob: Why don't you ask your little girl, good sir?

French Narrator: One Explanation Later...

* Homer: Well... that makes sense to me. Why don't y'all come on in fer a nice meal? (to Sosha) Oh, by the way, honey, the sheriff dropped by with another bank notice. Says this one'll be the last.
* Sosha: Oh, come on, now. Every time a harvest goes bad they bring us one of these notices. They'll get the money soon enough.
* Homer:.. Don't know how to say this, sugar, but, it's a whole new water to be swimmin' in. Banks are calling in lots of debts, they're losing money something fierce with the thievery goin' on!... They say if they don't get that money in due time... (Hands Sosha a bank notice)... They're gonna auction off Salty Sea Greens to pay it off.
* Sosha: WHAT?!
* Sonny: WHAT?!?
* ZongueBob: WHAT?!?
* Sonny's Siblings: WHAT?!?
* Sosha: (She looks at the notice).... But... But this farm's been in our family for 2 generations! It survived hurricanes and waterspouts.... This is our home.
* Homer:... I wish it wasn't true either, but.... It is... I'm so sorry, honey.
* Sosha:... Well... Sorry just ain't gonna save our home. (They hugged in heartbreak as Sonny was shocked)
* Sonny:... I... I can't believe it!
* Sonny's Estranged Uncle: (Seen in a rocking chair not too far) BAH! I blame this on the Currency Troupe! Ya would NEVER have this problem with UIS!
* Sonny: Uggh! Why is UNCLE BARNZSO HERE?!?
* Homer: Cuz he lost his home too. Barnszo, will you shut up about the UIS already?!
* Barnszo: NEVAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Because I think we all know what happens now.
* Homer: BARNSZO, DON'T YOU START!
* Barnszo: Now we all get EATEN!
* Sosha: Oh, come on, who would eat a Hydro?
* Barnszo: They're a delicacy on many worlds, Sosha, YOU KNOW THAT! **YOU KNOW IT!**
* Mr. Tetrus:... Who's this stick in the mud?
* Sonny: (Sighs embarrassed) It's mah estranged UIS-loving Uncle Barnszo.
* ZongueBob:... I don't like him.
* Sonny: None of us do, but he's still family.
* Barnszo: (He gets up) I'm just saying that BEIG behaved FAR more benevolently than them Currency Trope bastards. BEIG never forces debts, they never take yer stuff, and anything ya do have to pay them, it's always at generous prices! Not like that USRA-controlled bull-sheoht! If THEY were callin' the economic shots here, I wouldn't even be here, now would I?
* Jokey: Hey easy, oldster, that kinda talk will get your ass kicked.
* Barnszo: PHSHYAH?! I ain'ts afraid of USRA fanboys! I got a blastgun!!
* Homer: Barns, just, please get back in the house."
* Barnzso: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, I AIN'T ON YOUR SIDE OF THE FAMILY, YA FAMILY-CONTAMINATOR!
* Homer: Ohhoho, you're pulling THAT card again, huh? WELL I GOTTA BLASTGUN TOO!! (He took it out) You ever have the barrels SHOVED UP BOTH YOUR NOSTRILS?!?
* Barnszo: HAVE YOU?!?
* Sonny: UNCLE BARNSZO, JUST STOP! You're embarrassing me in front of my friends!
* Barnszo: I'm a'telling ya, we would NEVER have this problem had Thexus been UIS territory!!
* Sosha: BARNSZO, PLEASE!! Just..... Get in the house.
* Barnszo: (He bitterly left mumbling comically to himself)
* Sonny:... Everyone, just ignore my uncle and everything he says, he's..... He's just a bit bitter, and a little hissy about... Well, I suppose losing his home.
* (Barnszo): I HEARD THAT!!!
* Sonny: THEN DON'T! (She made the windows soundproof)... Ugh! ANNOYING!
* Sosha: TELL me about it!
* Xoriago:.. R-i-i-i-i-i-i-ight.
* Sosha:... Anyway, Sonny, this is a serious problem!
* Sonny: Darn tootin.... What about Cynthiana?
* Sosha: I'm sure she already knows, somehow.
* Sonny: Hope so... But... How're we gonna get THIS amount of money?
* Jokey:.... Ya know, you can just ask us to go into town and see if they have bandits in need of capture.
* Sonny's Parents: (Realization)..... GREAT IDEAR!!
* Atrick: What's an... EYE-DEE-ERR?
* Sonny: Jokey just gave us a chance to save my family's farm! We can go nab a bandit and use the reward money to do it!
* Pho: You mean, become bounty hunters?
* Homer: 'Round these parts, we call 'em Sprinters, and sprintin' pays BIG money!
* Mr. Tetrus: MONEY?! (Pushes Sonny down and stands on her) You mean, if we capture a no-good criminal, they'll give us money?!
* Homer: Okay, first off, I kinda have to protest that you pushed my kid down and used her as a welcome mat. (Mr. Tetrus gets off of Sonny)..... That being said, why yes, those brave enough to go after outlaws around these parts get handsomely rewarded.

#### **Meeting Bucky**

Sprocket City

* Bucky: (In a fantasy setting as he is confronted by bandits)... You thought you got the drop on ME?! NOBODY MADROGS BUCKY! This Jaker's the fastest there is! If you still think you got what it takes... Your move. (He lashes out his rope, whip, and guns and beat them in an awesome display) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIII, SO BAD I KISS MAHSELF! (He kisses his own muscles and females were all over him)
* ???: Bucky? BUCK?! MARBON TO BUCKY!!!!

Reality

* Bucky: WH-WH-WH-WH-WHAT?!
* Domestic Fox-Dog: I said it's your move! (They were playing a board game)
* Bucky:... DAMMIT, WHY COULDN'T'VE IT HAVE BEEN REAL?!?
* Domestic Fox-Dog: Ugh, were you daydreaming again?!
* Bucky: Ugh! Sorry, it's just... I can't get over my old job. I was always the best of the best. WA-HAI!! (He did awesome fighting moves then comically bumping into a pole)... Who put this here?
* Domestic Fox-Dog: Sorry, Bucky, but those days are over. You screwed up your mission BIG time. You let your own ego misdirect many people, your partner included, to disaster!
* Ranyct: (With disfigured left face, cybernetic tail, and left eyepatch) Yeah! Thanks a lot!
* Bucky: "Aw gees, Armarosco, if I was just given another chance, I KNOW I can do good! Sprocket City isn't very, actiony!"
* Armarosco: "Aw, come now kid. I now this ain't exactly a rough neightberhood, but.... We do get some excietment here."
* Bucky: The only TRUE action, is in the Sheriff's office! Now it's all gone! I became an officer, because, I've always dreamed of doing big things, like, like Roco! My inspiration! All I ever wanted was for him to say that I was the best officer like he was the best sprinter! That guy could do no wrong! He was an officer when I was a kid... And he saved my life! I'd give anything to get that chance back!
* Ranyct: Well too bad! You had your last chance and you failed!
* Bucky: NOBODY ASKED YOU, RANNY!!! YOUR OPINION DON'T COUNT!!
* Ranny: And why not?
* Bucky: Because you're just saying it because your uglier than a synthetic android now! No offense. I know I'm capable of catching myself a crook. I just need one flimsy chance to-
* ???: HEY, SHERIFF!! (The Clam Loungers approached a Gaccoon)
* Sheriff: Sonny? WELL SHOOT ME DOWN, IT'S REALLY YOU!!! THE LOCAL WATER-LOVER!! HOW YOU DOIN'?!
* Sonny: Are... Convoy? Is that you?
* Convoy: Yep. My Pa retired just yesterday, and now I'm the new Sheriff! Ain't that cool?
* Bucky:... Retired?
* Armarosco: Yeah. Bold ol' Connolly retired because of age being a bitch. Now his son's filling his shoes. And they ain't that big, he fit right in.
* Bucky: I hear talk his son is a gentle and reasonable soul. That means..... I can get another chance! YES!!! HERO BUSINESS, BUCKY'S COMING HOME!!!
* Armarosco: Uh- I wouldn't recommend- (He zoomed off cartoonishly with a cartoon sound effect)
* Ranny:... That boy's in a heap of trouble.
* Armarosco: "Oh, he'll learn the hard way soon enough."
* Sonny: (Sighs) I'm sad to hear that Ma and Pa are losing their home. But... I think I may have a solution. I wanna be... A SPRINTER!
* Convoy: (He spit out his drink in surprise) A SPRINTER?!? You wanna be a bounty hunter?!?
* Sonny: Convoy, you know I'm a blackbelt in Qong Fu. I can take ANY mission. Just show me the bounty board, and gimme a reward just enough to save my family's home!
* Convoy:... (Sighs) Sorry to say, but most of the bounties have already been claimed.
* Sonny: You're kidding!
* Convoy: I wish! (He activated the holographic bounty board and showed all the bounties except one filled)
* Sonny:... Huh? That guy seems enough. I'll get right to it- (A dramatic storm came)
* Convoy:...... Roco!
* Bucky: Roco!
* Cephward: "You name a dust storm Roco?"
* ???: THAT WOULD BE ME! (A dark cowboy AUU rooster-roadrunner was seen)... Bounty delivery! (He delivered the same bounty Sonny chose causing the entire Lounge to drop their jaws)... So pay up!
* Convoy: Well, sorry, Sonny, you can't win them all! (The hands over the money)
* Roco:...... Whose the sea vrat?
* Convoy: Sonny Bubbles. She comes from Ease outside the mainland. She was a cute swimmer. Wanted to catch this guy to save her family home before you-
* Roco: Got to it first? (Chuckles) Ain't fate fickle?
* Sonny:... I don't like you even if you didn't steal my bounty!
* Roco: Don't take it personaly, little lady. Life was never meant to be fair. Sorry about your home, but a job's a job. (Sonny noticed a bounty paper in his pocket and snagged it) Hey now, little lady! No need to be grabby!
* Sonny:... Slim Chancey? 1 MILLITE REWARD?!?
* Roco: (Snatches the paper back)...... You're lucky there ain't a law against snagging bounty papers. Nor that doing so is a bounty-worthy offense.
* Sonny: 1 MILLITE!!! GUYS, WITH THAT MONEY, WE CAN BUY BACK THE HOME AND MORE!!!
* Convoy: Well, shoot me twice, you just got lucky!
* Roco: Hate to ruin the celebration, but, I already call dibs on Ol' Slim. Trust me. Slim's too tough for Hydrocabiaises. I hear talk their fur is what his boots are made out of.
* Sonny: (She copies the bounty paper and added it to the bounty board) Not so fast, Speedo, this is a bounty board, NOT a competition board! But if you think it's a competition, then fine! (She presses the bounty) More than one person can take a bounty, so you wanna compete with the Loungers? Then you'll have to work pretty darn hard to impress me.
* Roco:... Fine, kid. Me being the only one to claim bounties was starting to get a wee bit boring. I could use a, 'challenge', though apart from some of your threats.... I'm in no real danger to lose this bounty. (He presses it) You're on!
* Sonny: May the best sprinter win!
* Convoy: SONNY, THIS IS THE CRAZIEST ROGGONE PLAN YOU EVER HAD!!!
* Sonny: All my plans have been crazy, Convoy. This one included!
* Convoy: BUT THIS IS BY FAR THE CRAZIEST!!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS?!
* Atrick: "A bird?"
* Awkword drum sound......
* Convoy: "..... Your pink friend ain't too bright."
* Sonny: "Story of my life."
* Convoy: "Anyway.... He's Faster-Than-Light Roco. He's so fast, he can outrun the day and night cycle!"
* Scowalski: "Tch, that is SUCH an improbability. It's not sciencetificly possable to outrun the day and night system."
* Roco: It's metaphorical. I catch criminals so fast, they say it's like lightspeed.
* Sonny: Well, how good is your speed? I feel too courteous to use my Oxydome, so I'll use my speeder. My steed sadly passed away, so I've got a chance to be as fast as I am in the water.
* Roco: My speed outpaces my species. 100 mph.
* Scowalski: GREAT STARS!!! Sonny, you're sure about this?!
* ???: Yeah, are you sure about it? (Bucky came in)
* Bucky: This guy's a legend TO legends. He saved my life when I was a kid.
* Convoy: Bucky? Dad said you're not supposed to be here!
* Bucky: Yes, but one, he's not here, is he? Two, I just wanted to meet my hero.
* Roco: I don't recall saving you.
* Bucky: You should. You were a police officer when you did.
* Roco:... Still doesn't ring a bell.
* Bucky:.... Okay, to be fair, it was ages so. If you're going after Chancey, I'm going in with you.
* Convoy: "I can't allow that Bucky, your tecnecally a civilian now. It ain't no longer your place to go after criminals, let alone guys like Slim. Men like Slim don't play nice with civilians."
* Bucky: You don't NEED to be no cop to catch a criminal. Vigilantes are all the rage, you know. In fact, I'll be honest, if I help Roco catch this guy, I'll be a hero and you'll have no choice but to let me back in the force!
* Commander: Back in?
* Convoy: He was once an officer, until he got his partner injured and his gambler mate to lose his leg stroking his own ego.
* Bucky: Ego's a strong word. I prefer the term 'courageous and smashing passion that has only failed that one time'! (Starts doing posies) HIYAH, WIYAO, WHAHAHA!!
* Convoy: It's still ego. I'm the sheriff now, so I say you are forbidden to-
* Roco: You know somethin'? He's in. If this bounty's nothing like the others, then I'll need all the help I can get. My other men won't be enough. How fast are you?
* Bucky: "Ya know, I just remembered, I needed to get groseries, be right back! (Runs stupidly back and came back with groseries), Be right with ya soon, I just gotta hit home! (Runs off stupidly quick again and comes back)..... What was it you wanted to ask me?"
* Roco: ".... Abit of a smartass, but he's better then no one."
* (Icky): "Did he seriously deminstraighted his speed by buying groseries and being a smartass about it?"
* (Juck): Without a doubt!
* Thunderia: I do NOT like this guy.

#### **A Failed Capture/Bucky's Payback**

Night Field

* Slim: (He and the piglets appeared)... This is it boys.
* Dummi Piglet #1: Wow. Look at all them nonsentient livestock.
* Dummi Piglet #2: That's the biggest one we seen thus far.
* Slim: Yeah, and it's supposed to be a trap from the authorities. Well, pssh. Good luck that'll do since they're mostly animals. Let's move! (They rode into the area jumping wildly)
* Sonny:... There he is! Cover me!
* ZongueBob: With what?
* Sonny: Anything, I don't give a flying feather.
* Slim: (He noticed they were all animals and smiled, singing this as all the sentient animals in the area, including the sentient ones like the Loungers, with the exception of Sau, who was protected via being a robot, were hypnotized by his sudden yodeling as Sau got the Loungers out and an unknown but familiar feline kicked a rock and allowed him and the Dummi Piglets to escape)

* Bucky:... What... The heck... Was THAT?!?
* Roco:... \*Sigh\*... Who forgot to supply us with earplugs again?
* Sonny: (The Loungers recovered)... Okay... What part of COVER ME, didn't you people get?
* Cephward: WHAT PART?!? HOW ABOUT THE PART WHERE WE JUST BLACKED OUT FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG?!?
* Sau: It was only 2 minutes, precisely.
* Cen: Speaking of which, what just happened?!
* Pho: "Did, did that guy, just do a song and dance routine and used that to steal the livestock?"
* Sau: Looked like it. Seemed that Slim perfected animal whispering via... Yodeling.
* Sonny:... Yodeling? Seriously? What's wrong with whistling? That's what everyone these days does.
* Ceptward: "Well not like we can ask HIM that!"

(Later...)

* Bucky: ALL RIGHT, SHOW'S OVER! YOU ARE INTERFERING WITH OFFICIAL SPRINTER BUSINESS! (Quietly) Also, I don't want you embarrassing me in front of my partner! (Points to a semi-conscious Roco)
* Lady Hush: You, and he, are partners?
* Glora: Heh, when did THAT happen? You guys have a moment when you were out there together?
* Alpha Rolf: He got one of those long-barreled guns and you fire some good shots, if you know what I'm saying? (He made a comically-amused expression)
* Cephward: Do you get to ride with him on odd days or even? (Laughs)
* Bucky: HEY! Faster-Than-Light Roco chose ME specifically because I have skills that are essential to capturing our quarry. (Shows off some quong fu moves as Roco gets up and sighs) And that, my friends, is what makes me and Roco equal parts of one lean mean crime-fighting- (Roco enters beside him, making him stop his boasting)..... Machine?
* Roco: Hmm. I guess Convoy was right about you. Such an ego.
* Bucky: Roco, it's not what you think! Whatever you heard was TOTAL exaggeration!! I was just messing with them-
* Roco: You're fired!
* Bucky:... What?
* Roco: Sprinters should hold themselves with honesty and selflessness. Yet I have witnessed neither of them from you. That's why you're no longer on the duty of helping me catch Slim. Sonny? If you can, escort this vermin back home so he can kiss his pitiful dream goodbye.
* Bucky:... But... But you're my hero!
* Roco:...... I never asked to be your hero. Good day. (They left leaving Bucky speechless)
* Sau:... Fate's fickle, isn't it?
* Sonny: Look, Bucky, don't take it so hard. If you want, you can help us- (Bucky kicked her into the rock, shocking everyone)
* Bucky:... THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!! I WOULD NEVER EVER HELP YOU MISFITS, IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!!!!
* Sau: Whoa, Bucky, calm down! It's not our fault your ego blew off everything you loved again.
* Bucky: ENOUGH! I'm a hero! I'm a better hero than you'll ever be!! In fact, I don't need you OR Roco! I'll catch Slim myself! Partner or no partner, that's what I'm-a do! Say goodbye to your parents' home, because it's BOTH PAYBACK AND HERO TIME!!! (He bolted off leaving the heroes coughing in the dust)
* Ruuber: "...... Why has he reacted like this?"
* Lady Hush: "..... The poor fool lost his chance to make a good impression once again, and refuses to blame only himself."
* Sonny: "..... That gives him NO RIGHT TO BLAME US?!"
* Sau: And he's equally foolish because he's taking the shortcut through the Floodwastes! The most dangerous flash flood sector in the country. Nobody, not even a semi-aquatic, has ever made it out of there alive!
* Sonny: Well we ain't nobody! We're beating him there. I won't let that egomaniac cost me my family's home! We can speed around him in the speeder before he even knows what hit him.

(Surviving Floodwastes)

* Sonny: (They were speeding through the rainy Floodwastes) Hmm. Rain's picking up. The tracks are washing away. Well, too bad for Bucky he isn't that smaaaaaAAAAAAA**AAAAAAAAAAAAAA**?!? (They saw a mixed up halo of tracks)... HORNY COROIDS!!!
* Cadet: Well he is a former police officer.
* Sonny: Still cheap. We can still get through this. (She speeds through what was left of the tracks until they reached a slope above a rapid flooding area as Bucky kicked down the speeder into the water)
* Bucky: HUZZAH!! Sorry, kid, nothing TOO personal! (He chuckled and sped off as the heroes plunged underwater)
* (Icky): "Yeesh, not even BUCK was THAT much of a horse's ass!"
* (Jack): Tell me about it! He redeemed himself when Rico betrayed him. This guy? He's a great big-
* (Juck): Oh, we'll get THERE soon. Anyway, it seemed game over for Sonny. (Sonny and the semi-aquatic members struggled to save the others from the rapids as they were losing air due to the turbulence but they made it to a ledge as they collapsed unconscious when the speeder crashed next to them and exploded)
* (Iago): "Yeesh, is Shamylan directing this scene in the last minute or something?"
* (Sonny): Who?
* (Iago): A director who makes awful movies and is obsessed with plot twists.
* (Atrick):... And what does that have to do with us surviving?
* (Icky): "He was talking about that speeder explouding in a blockbuster fastion."
* (Atrick): Ohhhhh... I don't get it.
* (Sandy): I think you mean Michael Bay.
* (Iago): "I meant in terms if illogical twists that defy logic."
* (Sandy): Just sayin', seems more like Michael than Shamylan.
* (Juck): "CAN WE PLEASE NOT HAVE OF A DEBATE ABOUT COMMON DIRECTOR USED TROPES AND GET BACK TO THE DAGNABBIT STORY?!"

#### **Meeting Fortune Juck/Meeting Slim Chancey**

Desert Wetlands

* Sonny: (They recovered)... The heck?
* ZongueBob: What happened last night?
* Sonny:... Bucky! THAT BUCK-TOOTHED SON OF A RAIKA!!! He is just too DETERMINED to get his job back after that mistake and just kicked us into the flood rapids! UGH! WELL IT'S GONNA TAKE MORE THAN THAT TO SLOW US DOWN!!!
* Xoriago: I don't get it, what is that guy's obsession with getting his stupid job back that he has to try and drown us?!
* ???: Cuz' of ME! (A rabbit-like creature with a pegleg came) Long time no see, Sonny girl! Never thought you'd survive the strongest water had to toss at'cha! Nobody EVA survived the floods of these parts. You just set yerself a record, AGAIN!
* Alpha Rolf: WHOA, WHO THE F\*\*\* ARE YOU, WEIRDO?!
* Sonny: Guys, wait! He ain't no weirdo! He's a desert shaman, and... A friend of mine.
* Jaysren: Got that right! I'ma shaman, chef, cook AND ball-washer!
* Cephward/(Squidward): (Laughs) Ball-washer! (Laughs)
* Jaysren: I'm also a damn fine gambler and jack-of-all-trades at yer' service. Name's Juckerson Tradewell, but folks round these parts call me Fortune Juck. At least they would if any were still alive... OR HAD EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE! They'd come from miles around to get a rub of my lucky Jaysren foot! (Noticed that his pegleg was on fire) WHOOOOOO, ROGGONE DAGGUM DAG NABBIT!!!!!!! (He tried blowing it out and then put it out by putting it in his mouth)... This happens a lot. Now where was I?
* Sonny: You were talking about-
* Juck: I REMEMBER WHAT I SAID, GIRL, DON'T RUSH MAH TICKER!!! That no-good speed demon Bucky got himself fired during a mission with a Crucyd weapon smugglin' operation that cost me mah leg.
* Mr. Tetrus: So you're were partners?
* Juck: PARTNERS?! More like gambler mates. Those smugglers took mah home in Vibrant Mines and when them smugglers were kicked out, we went back to living happily until rather recently. We Jaysrens lived here generation after generation. Then this big fat porker came in, and flushed us out like yesterday's dinner!
* ZongueBob: That's terrible! Well we-
* Juck: WAIT!! THERE HE IS!!! (The camera zoomed comically to a wanted poster of Chancey on a cactus with cartoon sound effects) (Dubbed as Bugs Bunny) CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGE!!!!! (He ran and kicked the cactus and yelped in pain)
* Cehpward: "...... I think he's been out in this desert for too long."
* Sonny: SLIM! HAHA, SUCK IT, BUCKY! This guy's hidin' in Vibrant Mines right now?
* Juck: Without a doubt!
* Sonny: Well, looks like my parents' homes are safe once and for all! Everyone? Let's ride!
* Cephward:... On what?
* Sonny: "..... Oh yeah. The speeder's Thexus toast, ain't it?" (The speeder was seen wrecked as this music played)

* Pho: "Eeeeyup."
* Juck: "Aw shucks, ya'll. We can just take Ol' Reliable."

(Meeting Slim Chancey) Vibrant Mines

* Slim: (Chuckles) HELL YEAH!! 5,000 semi-sentient livestock and wildlife, 800 heaping pounds of fresh Oxydome technology, AAAAAND 10,000 tons of fresh construction supplies. Not bad for one night's work, hmm?
* Pre-Adult Piglet 1: (They were playing origami fortuneteller) Pick a color.
* Pre-Adult Piglet 2: Dur, Pink.
* Pre-Adult Piglet 1: P-I-N-K. Pick a number.
* Pre-Adult Piglet 2: 3.
* Pre-Adult Piglet 1: 1-2-3. OOOH, YOU LIVE ON NIMBOO. You're married to a cute Aquanid-Hydran hybrid named Tira.
* Pre-Adult Piglet 2: Does she have cute feet?
* Pre-Adult Piglet 1: Gross, and it doesn't say.
* Pre-Adult Piglet 2: Ooh, let's make that a thing.
* Pre-Adult Piglet 1: We're not making that a thing. Okay, my turn.
* Slim: I SAID NOT BAD FOR A HARD NIGHT'S WORK, HMMMMMMMMMM?!? (They clapped).... Thank ya kindly.
* ???: "Well someone craves for attention."
* Slim: "....... Why, good doctor. Your early today. Yes, the Dummis sure respect their uncle. What can I owe you?"
* ???: "The bossman wants a progress report, Slim."
* Slim: Well, do remember that I owe Baron O'Malley some of the cut to set my plan in action. You'll get your 50-50 soon enough.
* ???: Well depending on how greedy that anonymous asswipe is. If he's too greedy for his own good, the 50-50 goes to 60-40. The 60 goes to us, by the way.
* Slim: Oh, that guy is greedy to the core, soooo, yeah, make that the 60-40. We'll rub it in his face as soon as he plays his part and becomes too weak to do anything 'bout it.
* ???: (Chuckles) I like the way you think, boy.
* Slim: Thank you. The slaves I rounded up for you are worth their weight in gold. But we've still got more to do, more land to buy up, and given these merfs' earmarks, I'd say I made another flatbroke farmer outta MucDonald. (As he changed into his Samberg disguise) And I know just the porker for the job. Ta-dah!
* Dummi Triplet 1: DYAH!!! WHO ARE YOU?!
* Dummi Triplet 2: WHADYA DO WITH UNCLE CHANCE?!
* Dummi Triplet 1: PUT UP YA DUKES, YOU- (Slim grabbed his crotch and twisted it as he made this noise)

* Slim: It's me, you brainless animals! Hello! This here's the disguise I use to sneak in and buy everything I can. Land, farms, towns, tech, you name it, I'm all over it like butter on Thexus toast.
* Dummi Triplet 3: Goshdurn, you gotta be the richest omnic baron in the whole territory. (The other two applauded)
* Slim: Sure am. But it warms my heart more to watch those flatbroken owners suffer. Back in the day, I was among the biggest land barons around, trying to do whatever possible to give modernism to the planet. But those stuck-up superiors of mine were too moral about my 'legally-questionable' methods to appreciate my talents.
* Dummi Triplet 1: Maybe they just didn't like your singing. (Slim spat out his drink Ratigan style in surprise)
* Slim: ... Singing?! (The two got nervous)... Songbirds sing! Saloon gals, sing! Snotty and bratty school children, SING!! I, YODEL!! AND YODELING, **IS AN ART!!!!!!!**
* Dummi Triplet 2: Well maybe they just didn't like your yodeling.
* Slim: "...... (Starts smacking the two silly)!"
* Dummi Triplet 3: "He didn't mean it, Uncle! Everyone likes yodeling! (Slim look at him). Granted, not nessersarly fer the right reasons, as people still view as the funnest, goofiest silliest sounds in the whole universes, but I'm sure it's somethin'- WHOA?! (Tries to smack the 3rd Dummi, but he dodged, reveiling a patch of island terratory that was Sonny's lace in comical shape of the Dummi's head, to Slim's surprise and bewilderment)....."
* Slim: "..... Nephew..... Am I..... To assume that every time we come back from a score, you had been sitting here, in that EXACT SPOT, BLOCKING THAT CHOICE PIECE OF PROPERTY FROM MAH VIEW?!"
* Dummi Triplet 3: "...... This here's my cofty place."
* Voice: "Wah-wah-wahhhhhhhhhh."
* Dummi Triplet 3: "..... Uncle Slim?" (He began choking him)
* Dummi Triplet 2: It's called Salty Sea Greens, Uncle Slim. A successfully profitable kelp farm on the resort island of Ease. Goes on auction Fineday morning.
* ???:.... And it seems to be the place we were looking for. We were looking for an island called Ease, but we were unable to locate it. It's the childhood home of our quarry.
* Slim: Excellent. In that case, all will be satisfied. Pencil it in. Fineday morning. I'll buy that farm and work my way up from there.
* Dummi Triplet 1: (He does that) You sure? Ease isn't exactly the best resort island on Thexus.
* Slim: Aaaah, it don't matter. When you're talking revenge, every last square mile, (Slices the picture with a lazer whip) counts.

#### **A Failed Capture**

Vibrant Mines

* Slim: All right, boys. Let's go over this again. Who am I?
* Dummi triplets: Uncle Chance?
* Slim: That's right! Now I put on my hat... (Puts on a hat) Then I put on my spectacles... (puts on glasses)
* Dummi Triplet #1: AHHH! WHO ARE YOU?!
* Dummi Tripler #2: Where's Uncle Chance?!
* Slim: NO, NO!! IT'S STILL ME!!! WHY CAN'T YOU STUPID SACKS OF-- (a Gravtrain whistle blows) Ah, the ever-punctual Mr. Wisely.
* Dummi Triplet 3: "Ya mean the short guy?"
* Slim: Short, but rich in Black Market moolah.
* The group arrives to see a gravtrain pulling up.
* Slim: OK, everybody make way for the big man in black market business. (Puts on his disguise)
* Dummi triplets: Aah! Hey, who're you?
* ???: They ain't too bright, aren't ya? (A short man in a suit exits the gravtrain and walks toward Slim)
* Slim: The important thing is, I got the goods. 5,000 semi-sentient livestock and wildlife, 800 heaping pounds of fresh Oxydome technology, and 10,000 tons of fresh construction supplies as promised, Mr. Wisely.
* Man: The name's Wisley. So, Slim, what do you say we get a move on and load this stuff onto the train A.S.A.P., huh?
* Slim: Of course. (Grabs Wisley) HOWEVER, these bovines don't go anywhere without PROPER payment, first.
* Wisely: "Aw come on, Slim, I'm on a tight as balls shedgule here!"
* The Loungers arrive, hidden from Slim.
* Slim: "Well that shedgule won't be met quicker if we argue about whether or not your paying for my services. And keep in mind, I know friends in scary high places! They're assusiated with the Dark Rads, and they won't be so kind with ya if you try to cheat your way out of this, short-cake!"
* Wisely: "(Gulps).... Oh, oh right. Your, your little kinship with those Legion guys. What strange bedfellows you guys make."
* Sonny: You know, somehow I knew in mah gut he was with the Villain Legion.

#### **Roco Betrays Bucky**

Vibrant Mine Train Tracks

* Commander:... That was the WORST riding of all time!
* Cephward: BECAUSE THAT WASN'T RIDING!! THAT WAS FLYING AND BURNING!!!
* Commander: Eh, touché!
* Slim: YOU ASSHATS!!! (Sonny was held hostage by him with a blaster on her head) You get your kiesters in the cell, or the swimming vrat's gonna have a BOLT IN HER HEAD!!! MOVE!!!
* ZongueBob:... What do we do?
* Sau: There's no quick solution to this with which I can calculate in time. We have no choice!
* Familiar: Wise decision! (They were flung into the cell cart as it put up an energy field barrier)
* Slim: Alright, c\*\*\*-s\*\*\*\*r, there's your proof! Now pay up!
* Wisley: Sure, I-I-I-I was just saving it.
* Slim: Of course you were. But I can't take all the credit. Wisley, I'd like you to meet the most double-crossing double-crosser I've ever had the pleasure to call, PARTNER: Faster-Than-Light Roco! (Roco landed next to Bucky and kicked him away before he could tackle him)
* Roco: Pleasure to do business again, sir!
* Bucky:... No! It can't be true!!
* Slim: Believe it, sonny-boy! Sure his reputation as a sprinter is renowned in Thexus, but he's more than an average bounty hunter. He's been my top mercenary for years. His speed helped good in moonlighting and covering my scent in more ways than one. Killing witnesses AND leads. So now, he's gonna see you AND the Villain Legion to the spaceport without anymore trouble. Here's your millites for the bonus work, Roco Loco! Do this job well, and there's more where that came from. Oh, and take care of your 'friend' there.
* Roco:... He's not my friend. He's only a self-centered lout who put his own ego ahead of his own job and I only pity him. So, even if you didn't tell me to, he's MY mess to clean up! (He walked up to him then recognized his worried face)...... I was mistaken. I DO remember saving you.
* Bucky:... How... How could you do this? You were my hero!
* Roco:... Like I said before, kid, I didn't ask to be your hero. As for why I'm with him? Life got tough. My entire family's dying of a serious disease, and not only are they offering the money to pay for treatment, but they gave me a chance to secure my bounty hunting career. I was actually close to retirement until they gave me youth again.
* Bucky:... That, explains why you changed so little.
* Familiar: My finest work, actually!
* Roco:... It may not be a glamorous choice, but it was my best and only shot to save them.
* Bucky: But, but, Slim's stealing semi-sentient creatures and technology, among so many others, from this planet to give to aliens! You're seriously gonna allow this?
* Roco: Don't act like you would've done different if your family was on the line. If you were in my shoes, boy, ya wouldn't be any different. Heck, given that ego.... You'd probably be worse than me.
* Slim: Yeah he would. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an island of cute water rodents to buy up in Ease.
* Sonny: (Gasps) YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO BUY MY HOME?!? YOU INSOLENT SLIMY SON OF A-
* Slim: Don't hear you, don't give a buck. (Hops on Senior) YEEEEEHOOOO! THE ENTIRE TERRITORY'S ALL MINE!!! (Cackles)
* Roco: Alright, Wisley, fire up the gravtrain, and I'll deal with pipe-dreamer here.
* Bucky:... Insulting my potential is one thing... But you made one, fatal, mistake. You destroyed my trust, AND MY EGO! (He lashed out at him and started fighting off the bandits)
* Sonny: Bucky?
* Bucky: Guys, I'll handle them! You find a way out!
* Cephward:... You had the nerve to try and think this would make up for the fact you nearly killed us?! WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?! WE'RE NOT GONNA GET OUT!!
* Bucky: AW COME ON, DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE STILL SOUR ABOUT THAT- (He got knocked out by Roco)... Ow! (He fell unconscious)
* Roco:... Much obliged for distracting him, misfits. Now... (Grabs his tail) I'm off to give him a silent execution somewhere, private. (He started dragging Bucky away).
* Sonny:... SERIOUSLY, CEPHWARD?! I KNOW IT WAS LAST MINUTE, BUT, HE WAS GONNA HELP US!!
* Cephward: WELL MAYBE HE SHOULDN'T'VE TRIED TO HAVE US KILLED TO BEGIN WITH!!
* Sonny:... YOU BASICALLY DOOMED MY ENTIRE HOME!!! YOU SCREWED UP JUST LIKE-
* Cephward: DON'T YOU DARE-
* Sonny: ATRICK!!!!
* Cephward: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (He and Sonny beat each other up)
* Hud: Wurh werrder weh dur nurh?
* Zhensi: Come on, we're the Loungers. We can get out of here.
* Sonny: Oh, we'll get out. As soon as I teach this piece of calamari to control his temper!
* Cephward: WE'RE SHORT ON TIME, NOW IS NOT THE TIME!!!
* Sonny: Oh, we are NOT done with this conversation! (She lets him go)
* Dummi Bro #1: (Laughs stupidly) I like these aliens. They're silly.
* Dummi Bro #2: Yeah. They're like circus clowns!
* Dummi Bro #3: Hey, hey, do something else really funny!
* (Monkey): Those three aren't very bright, are they?

Elsewhere

* Bucky: Where did I go wrong? I lost my partners, I lost my hero Roco, and I lost the trust of those misfits, all because of my stupid fantasies. Now, I'm gonna be takin' the long ride, and they ain't lifting a digit to help me.
* Roco: Shut up and let me put you outta your misery. Now, be assured.... (Aims the gun at him)...... It'll be over quickly. (Suddenly got slammed into by the defeated Dummi Bros) OW?! Get off of me, ya durn idjits!! (Shoves the trio off and saw the group)..... Well, I'll be. What up with the sudden change of heart, ya Lodger-wannabes?
* Sonny: As much of a burden as he was, the Clam Loungers never turn their back on a cry for help, and buddy, we ain't gonna let you hurt him!
* Roco:... Admirable as that is, my family's on the line, so now... (Aims gun) It just got inconvenient!
* Sonny: It doesn't have to be like this, Rocky. We can find some help for your family outside of the Legion. There's no guarantee the Legion were serious about what they promised. Familiar is a dangerous charlatan. Say your family DOES get cured. Who's to say Familiar won't get them killed anyway?
* Roco: HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?! They managed to make me young again!!
* Zhigu: True..... But for how long until you served your purpose? The moment they get what they want, they will leave you with nothing!
* Roco: Prove it!!
* Pho:... Did you always have gross feet?
* Roco: (He got confused from that, and looked at a mirror from a pocket, and saw that his true age was returning)..... My age..... IT'S COMING BACK?!
* Cen: Yeah. That's because you outlived your purpose to them. You helped them secure one last piece of land for them to use for their abuse! You were nothing but a subtle pawn for a quiet conquest of a world's valuable resources! This planet's obviously had enough hardships. You had risked the Legion becoming a worthy successor to the VA, for nothing!
* Roco: (He realized his mistake)... What... What have I done?
* Bucky: My... My so-called hero was a-
* Cephward: DON'T EVEN!! YOU'RE STILL ON THIN ICE WITH US FOR TRYING TO KILL US!!
* Sonny: CEPHWARD, JUST SHUT UP!!!
* Roco:... Everyone, I'm... I'm so sorry. I.... I didn't know!
* Cephward: Yes you did! You just didn't believe us! You brought this upon yourself-
* Sonny: CEPHWARD!
* Cephward: AHH, NO, DON'T RIP OFF MY NOSE!!!
* Roco: No, he's right. I... I deserve the Thexus death sentence. (Tosses his gun over to the Loungers) Go ahead... Do it. Prove you're not like the Lodgers, and shoot me. (Quietly) And don't forget the big-mouth, too.
* Sonny:... No. It wouldn't be honorable. And it's not because we want to imitate the Lodgers. It's because you're just as much a victim of the VL's s\*\*\* as we are. Besides, don't you have a family?
* Roco: THEY'RE DYING ANYWAY!! If anything, sparing me a lonely existence would probably be the kindest gesture ya'll would do!
* Mr. Tetrus: Buddy, we'd already promised that we'll help with that. We know some friends in the HA that can do WONDERS! We can help you.
* Roco:... I don't understand. You're talking about sparing an old fool that helped a would-be heir to the worse 14 years of our UUniverses' existence. Whatever happened to the days where folks like that... Like me... Always get absolute final judgment?
* Sonny: Because thanks to the Lodgers, our UUniverses stopped seeing in black and white. Where there's black and white, there's always gonna be gray. Mostly not visually, but often times slightly in between em. People are coming to understand the nuances' in others actions. We stopped only seeing criminals and villains in real life, no differently than demonstrated in cartoons. We stopped blindly believing in those that may sound saintly, but could actually have ulterior motives. We stopped automatically siding with entitled brats with money and power just because they're rich and influential. We began to acknowledge that..... Life don't automatically go to strict fairness. In fact, an unspoken truth about the VA, is that they happened because the majority kept have a say in everything, even if it's often for a greater good.
* Roco:... Then, why did people hated the VA?
* Glora: Well, for one, their poor choice of naming, because a name like 'Villains Act' is OBVIOUSLY gonna be misleading. Granted it might be the clever move of evil just being good in disguise, but still, they could've been more clever about it. And 2, because they ended up being violent d\*\*\*s about it. But regardless, they were violent d\*\*\*s with a point. If there's one thing surviving the VA's bulls\*\*\* taught us, is that we take life for granted and always expect to meet our criteria for fairness. And when it does it, well.... Then we end up wanting to FORCE life to automatically adhere to our ideals of fairness, regardless if people are content to that belief. Sure, some people like to view the VA as an example as a warning of what happens if you don't accept life, and, it's not a wrong suggestion, but.... The Lodgers show that the VA is also a warning on what happens if we DON'T challenge the status quo, even if it's a favorable one. We should've tried to balance out the needs of the majority AND minority with reasonable compromises, or at the least get both sides to understand each other to THEN reach a compromise. Now, did some of the VA really pushed our buttons too hard? Hell yes! But they were either not seriously dedicated to the lesser known true goal, were just psycopaths, or both. And with you, Mac? While working with that fat oinker wasn't a cool move, you had your understandable reasons. You weren't necessarily doing it for profit or power, but to help your family. The fact it hurts Thexus in the process, can't be helped. You didn't like doing it, but you only wanted to help your family. And honestly... Punishing a guy just trying to be a good father and husband, well, that only serves to give the VA remnants new members to look forward too. It's just-
* Roco: Okay, you've droned on too long, I can see your thinking already. Still, I don't know what to say. So, all I can say is... Thank you.
* Sonny: Thanks, Roco. Now, the least you can do is go back to your family. We'll call the HA ahead of your arrival to help your family. And, we'll ask them to be lenient on you. But you still need to answer to the Grand Council and pay a due debt.
* Roco: I understand. I'll do what I must for my family, and I'll ask them to give my family the treatment they need in return for me turning myself in. The least I can do is stay out of yer way and let ya'll do yer job. You can take that clumsily ol' train to get to the island faster. As for me..... I'm going to correct my actions. (Zooms off still relatively quickly)...
* Sonny: (She looked at Scowalski and nodded him to make the call)
* Scowalski: (He opened up a communicator)
* Lady Hush: Hello, HA? We have another favor to ask you. And it involves helping a poor soul find his way, along with helping his family out as well.

French Narrator: One Call Later...

* Sonny: (The Dummis and Wisely were seen tied up comedically and left in the cargo of the train, as the semi-sentient creatures were freed and the heroes take the carts off the locomotive and head off to Ease)
* Sonny: HANG ON, MA AND PA! HELP'SA COMING!

#### **Final Battle**

Bubbles Ranch

* Convoy: SOLD! All property and livestock, formerly known as Salty Sea Greens, is hereby sold to Mr. Samberg O'Seller.
* Slim: (In disguise) HahaHAAAAA! Pleasure doing business with you. O'Seller's the name, foreclosure's the game.
* Convoy: Well... (Hands him the deed) Just sign the deed, and the property is all yours.
* Slim: Sure thing. (Takes pen) I'll be as easy as one, two- (Barnszo grabbed the deed and ran off) HEY!
* Barnszo: (LAUGHS CRAZILY) GLORY AND POWER TO UIS, YA USRA C\*\*TS! (He laughs crazily while running away)
* Slim:... SERIOUSLY?! WHAT INCOMPETENT MENTAL INSTITUTION LOST HIM?! Okay, Convoy, if I don't get that pen back in the next few minutes, it's going to be on you and your INCOMPETENT law enforcement! HEY, GET BACK HERE WITH MY DEED! (He started chasing Barnszo)
* (Iago): Wow. He sure became a cheap plot device to slow Chancey down.
* (Sonny): Iago!
* (Iago): Oh, come on, there's no other reason he exists!
* (Sonny): Ugh, anyway, back to the story...

Meanwhile...

* The gravtrain starts arriving near Bubbles Ranch.
* Sonny: There she is! Home sweet home!
* Pho: Yeah, and one mother of a curve!
* Cephward: Why is there a curve?! Don't these kinds of trains defy the law of gravity?
* Sonny: It's because these are older models, they gotta follow an antigrav zone or else they get unstable!
* Mr. Tetrus: THEN WHY DIDN'T THEY UPGRADE TO THE FREE-RANGE ONES?!
* Sonny: Because it's all thanks to cheapskates like you.
* Cephward: Is it REALLY any wonder why there's a debt problem? This planet is sh- (Sonny looked sternly at him)... Surely in need of help!
* ZongueBob: THEN WE'RE GOING IN! (He controls the gravtrain to leap off the zone as Slim has tied up Barnszo and gotten the deed back)
* Slim: Make one move and you'll beg UIS to save you from what I can REALLY do to ya! (He returns to sign the deed)... Finally! The entire land, is MI- (Suddenly, the gravtrain came crashing in)
* Convoy: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! (The people scatter and the train stops as Slim sees it, just before he could officially sign)
* Slim: OH FOR THE LOVE OF ARBASUS KRAAN!! FIRST THIS LUNATIC, NOW THIS?!? What's the idea crashin' yer train on my property?! I oughta report you and send you off to-
* ???: It ain't yer property no more, O'Seller! Or should I say, CHANCEY!!
* Slim: What the- it can't be! (The Loungers exit the train)
* Convoy: Wait a darn minute...... Chancey, as in Slim Chancey?!
* Sonny: That's right! (She tore off his disguise) This man has been selling anything he can to the black market and has bought up all the land around. Plus, HE WORKS WITH THE VILLAIN LEGION! (Everyone gasps)
* Convoy: Well in that case... (He snatches the deed away) I think your perchuche has JUST been made ill-legit!
* Slim:... YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, VRAT! (He took out his gun and fired it at her but Bucky leapt in at the last second)
* Bucky: NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- (He took the blast and fell) AAUUUAAA! (His exclamation echoed)
* Sonny: BUCKY! NO!!
* Slim: UGH! (He fired again, but he was out of ammo)... DAMMIT! (He tossed the empty gun at Barnszo)
* Barnszo: HAIL GRANDMIND!! AHAHAHAA!!
* Slim: GOOD THING I CARRY A SPARE! (He took it out as Sonny's entire family came in starting with Homer firing his blastgun)
* Homer: YA MISCHIEVOUS CHARLATAN!! (He fired it as his shadow was able to protect him thanks to Familiar's magic)
* Sonny: Ugh! Curse that Familiar!
* Sally: Oh, we ain't even gotten started yet! SIBS!! YOU WANNA GET NUTS?!? LET'S GET NUTS!!! (They all tackled him in comical ways until an unknown blast streaked Slim's cheek)
* Slim: AAHHHH!! MY FACE!! MY PRECIOUS FUTURE MODELING CAREER!! (They saw it was another Hydrocabiais)
* Hydrocabiais:... Is this a private party or can anyone join?
* Bubbles Family: CYNTHIANA!
* ZongueBob: Wait, THIS is the older sibling you were always talking about?
* Sonny: Yep. Mah family's pride and joy. Our inspiration, and the BEST damn woman to ever be spawned on our farm.
* Cynthiana: I've been waiting for this here bounty for a LONG time! I can use it to save my family farm!
* Sonny: YOU'VE been after this bounty too?!
* Cynthiana: Yep. Guess dangleberries don't fall too far from each other, huh? (The two laughed, and they all handled Slim until he was stuck in the gravtrain locomotive's smokestack)
* Slim:... You think it's over, sheriff? All because you got THIS legend around? WELL THINK AGAIN! It ain't over 'til the fat mother-Spucker sings! (Was about to start yodeling until Trigress kicked Slim in the throat so hard, it gave him throat complications and undermined the spell)..... (Tries to yodel anyway, but kept gagging onto himself and nothing worked)..... (Laryngitis voice) Welp, that sealed it! (He got himself out of the smokestack and ran away pathetically)
* Convoy: Slim's gettin' away!
* Sonny: Aw no he ain't! (She blew a whistle as a whole load of semi-sentient creatures charged from the exit at Slim)
* Slim:... OKAY, HOW DID THEY GET TO THIS ISLAND?!?
* ZongueBob: SEMI-Sentient, remember?
* Semi-Sentient Merf: LOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!!!
* Slim: OH, S\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*- (He was struck comically)
* Cynthiana: You've lost, Slim!
* Slim:... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- (Convoy and his deputies arrived and roped him up with energy-charged lassos) I really should've run away instead of yelling!
* Convoy: Slim Chancy, yer under arrest!
* Slim: (Laryngitis voice) Well, at least my voice will get better in jail... right?
* Convoy: Don't get too excited, Slim. (Brings out a muzzle) Your yodeling days have drawn their final curtain.

Later...

* Convoy: (Slim is seen in a prison carriage) Hope you like stripes, Slim.... Or orange, or yellow, I dunno, it's been a while since I was last there. Whatever color, I'm sure it'll look good on you.
* Slim: I HATE THOSE COLORS- EHUUAAAAAAAHUA!!
* Convoy: Not hard to see why. Take'im away, boys! (The carriage drives away) I must say, Bubbles, you really earned this reward money. I'm sure you can put it to good use.
* Sonny's Mom: YEE-HOO! My farm is saved! (Everyone cheers)
* Bucky:... Great! We... We did it! (He coughed from his wound)
* Sonny: Hold on there, Bucky boy! (She used healing lotion to heal his wound as it hurt him and he yelled comically)... Thanks for saving my life back there.
* Bucky:... (Sighs)... (He zoomed off comically)
* ZongueBob: Where's he going? He's missing out on the celebration.

Maximum Ease Prison

* Bucky: (As Slim was tossed in a prison cell, he came directly to the warden's office)... Wow. What happened here? Looks a lot different.
* Warden:... Long story, I'd rather not talk about it. Let's just say, dummies ain't meant for a prison.
* Bucky:... Sure that must've been a laughworthy story. Anyway, I'd like to turn myself in.
* Warden:... Okay. Not like someone to just do that nowadays. But hey, maybe that's a good thing. Praise the Gods for making the cosmos good for once. Alright, name?
* Bucky: Bucky.
* Warden: Crime?
* Bucky: Attempted murder of Sonny Bubbles.
* Warden: Hmm, mighty serious. I used to have a crush on her Ma when we were young, and her older sibling Cynthiana's fame knows no bounds. Sounds like the perfect reason to get in the slammer to me. You're in. (Guards come to take Bucky to his cell)
* Bucky: Good. 'Cause I deserve this.
* ???: (Another door was open)...... I would like to post bail for a very recent inmate.
* Bucky: Eh? (He was surprised to see Roco and a family of healed Roadraptors)
* Warden: Well the most recent is Bucky. But keep in mind, he tried to kill someone.
* Roco: (Gives out a very large bag of money) Money's no issue.
* Warden:... Well congratulations, kid. Your the first inmate to have the shortest stay in prison. A new record, really. (He releases him)
* Bucky:... Roco, why? And, how did you know that-
* Roco: Sprinter's intuition. It gave me the idea ya might do this.
* Bucky: Well, I took a bolt for Sonny. That's all the hero I need in my life for all i care anymore. (Sees Roco's family)..... Wow, the HA work fast.
* Roco: Fast is how we always roll in the Sprinter business.
* Bucky: But they ain't sprinters.
* Roco: Nevertheless. Now, don't ya have a celebration to tend to?
* Bucky:... They won't want me there.
* Roco: Didn't you just say you took a bolt for Sonny?
* Bucky: Yeah, but it's surely gonna take a LOT more than THAT to redeem my crime. I blew it. I tried to kill her because I wanted to be a hero, and my ego got the best of me. I'm better off here, because I ain't no hero. Convoy and those others were right. I don't deserve to uphold the law.
* Roco:... Kid, you were able to do something I wasn't able to do own my own. You admitted that you were wrong about something. I had to be talked down like a spoiled child to have a realization. But you? It took me to fail to being your hero to get you to realize reality's ugly mug. And for that, I apologize.
* Bucky:... Hey, don't sweat it. Like you said..... You didn't ask to be my hero. It was my own fault to expect you to be a perfect person. And, ironically, with everything considered... I respect you more for it. Now, I have a crudload of apologies to make, Roco. Take care of yourself.
* Roco: Sure thing.... (Bucky was about to leave) Oh, and one more thing.... I had a talk with Convoy before I got here..... He would like a word with you.... Something about, wanting to give ya a fresh new chance. (Bucky was surprised)... But you didn't hear it from me. It's supposed to be a surprise.
* Bucky:... (Dubbed as Mushu) AaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHA!!!! WOOHOOHOOHOOHOOO!! (He zoomed off comically)