Episode 385 - The Final Bone Battle!?

This one is for all the bone marbles! Can our heroes defeat this elite squad of bone villains? They have been training their whole month for this day and they will not lose! May lose a few folks along the way but they should be able to be brought back.

## **Story**

### Long Story

Well, it's a Battle episode. You know what that means! That's right, it's a really short description, followed by a bloated Rolls section where each action is painstakingly described! And I mean painstakingly...

Skud Derringer walks out onto the pitch of the arena. The crowd, enthusiastic. The terrain, rocky, with chunks of metal and stone popping up everywhere. There are pools of magma and geysers of steam. The whole arena is round, the 150-ft diameter standard of Bone Card Tournaments. And, there's a center platform where the magic happens. Sometimes, literally. And on the opposite end of Skud, emerges Lucious Incendous. And the battle begins...

Skud begins by sending out the Astral Dreadnought and Lahni. The latter immediately goes to hide behind the former. Incendous sends out Pandora Thorne (who vanishes, like Lahni) and Sharpe Lestat, who begins to attack the Astral Dreadnought. To deal with this absolute gall, Skud sends Infernal Rick out to cast a *Slowing Ray* on Sharpe, so he's slow now lol. Lahni, in true Lahni fashion, does a ton of damage to Sharpe. She punches many times, and on the final punch, she's nice enough to know the handaxe back into his belt. Not away, so that he can't use it, but back to his belt. Good looking out, Lahni.

The Astral Dreadnought manages to kill Sharpe Lestat by biting him to death, then turns on the invisible Pandora Thorne. With only 1 Battler on the field, Incendous sends out 2 more, Wordsworth Zics and Ysla Caine, who immediately kills the Astral Dreadnought with a *Fireball*! And so, Skud decides to pull out the big guns. He sends out Pyre. Pyre breaths fyre on the two newbies, killing Caine, and wounding Zics. Rick the Beholder does another *Slowing Ray* on Wordsworth Zics, whom Lahni then kills during the zenith of her epic theme song.

Skud has lost 1 Battler, while Incendous has lost 3. Enraged, he sends out his last two Battlers, Duclaw Honeypaw and Killian Dred.

And then he throws 2 javelins at Skud!

### Short

The Final Bone Card Battle! The Astral Dreadnought kills Sharpe Lestat, Ysla Caine kills The Astral Dreadnought, Pyre kills Ysla Caine, and Lahni kills Wordsworth Zics. And then Lucious Incendous throws 2 javelins at Skud!

## **Trivia**

* Nika suggests a "Phone a Friend" feature, in which, at any situation, they can just reach out a dark and mysterious Wiki writer named MisterRed. I'm not sure what this is in reference to, but I, the dark and mysterious Wiki writer, MisterRed, am down with this
* Toby changes his Bone Card "type" from Enchantment to Evocation
* Sharpe Lestat is wearing a helmet now, one of those old-timey Roman looking ones

## **In This Episode...**

### **Cast and Player Characters**

* Michael DiMauro - *Dungeon Master*
* Tim Lanning - Toby Treacletart
* Jennifer Cheek - Rowan Grey
* Mike Bachmann - Skud Derringer
* Nika Howard - Lahnik "Lahni" Caplain

### **Non-Player Characters**

* Lucious Incendous
* Pandora Thorne
* Sharpe Lestat
* Ysla Caine
* Duclaw Honeypaw
* Wordsworth Zics
* Killian Dred

### **Locations**

* The Elemental Plane of Fire
	+ The City of Brass
		- The Bones Arena

### **Quest Log Updates**

* [On-Hold] - Stop Tiamat!
* [Active] - Destroy The Orb!
	+ [Active] - Find the first missing piece
		- [Active] - Gain access to the Elite Forge
			* [Active] - Defeat Lucious Incendous, Master of the Fire Plane
	+ [On-Hold] - Find the third missing piece
		- [On-Hold] - Investigate the final location
* [On-Hold] - Find Adira Harper
* [On-Hold] - Return to Catherine Beanlord's graveyard in The Elemental Plane of Earth get the body of Tuck Frump
* [Active][Jaeludra] - Investigate the Great Colosseum in Caer

### **Quotes**

* **"We're the new bad boys of Bone Cards!"** ~ *Jennifer*
**"Oh yeah, that reminds me. I wanna bring back: I'm the bad boy of podcasting. I haven't said it for a couple years, but... I'm officially the bad boy of podcasting again. And I always was. Thank you..."** ~ *Tim*

* **"There's not a lot of-- Well, I guess there's some pomp, and a little circumstance..."** ~ *Michael*

* **"Diameter and radius are the exact same fuckin' thing. Don't listen to 'em."** ~ *Tim, the bad boy of podcasting*

* **"I'm just looking at all the rays, to see which one does the most damage. And it looks like... Ray down in Auto Repair."** ~ *Bachmann*

## **Rolls**

* **Recap**
	+ Tim - 9
	+ Nika - 3
	+ Jennifer - 15
	+ Bachmann - 16

*Bone Card Championship begins vs. Lucious Incendous*

* **Initiative**
	+ Skud - 15
	+ Lucious Incendous - <15

*Round One*

* **Skud**
	+ Sends Out Lahni
	+ Sends Out Astral Dreadnought

* **Lahni**
	+ Turns invisible, hides behind Astral Dreadnought
	+ Must make a DEX Saving Throw
		- 23 - Success
			* Avoids a geyser of steam

* **Astral Dreadnought**
	+ Takes Dodge action

* **Lucious Incendous**
	+ Sends Out Pandora Thorne
	+ Sends Out Sharpe Lestat

* **Pandora Thorne**
	+ Fuckin vanishes

* **Sharpe Lestat**
	+ Runs 50 ft forward, handaxe attacks Astral Dreadnought (with disadvantage)
		- 25
			* Hit - 30 damage

*Round Two*

* **Skud**
	+ Sends Out Infernal Rick
	+ Pumps Up Infernal Rick

* **Infernal Rick**
	+ Casts ~~Sleep Ray~~ ~~Death Ray~~ Disintegration Ray on Sharpe Lestat, requiring a DC 16 DEX Saving Throw (with disadvantage)
		- 19 - succeeds
	+ Casts Telekinetic Ray on Sharpe Lestat, requiring a DC 16 STR Throw (with disadvantage)
		- 22 - succeeds
	+ Casts Slowing Ray on Sharpe Lestat, requiring a DC 16 DEX Saving Throw (with disadvantage)
		- 11 - fails
			* Sharpe Lestat's speed is halved, he can't take reactions, and he can only do an action or bonus on his turn, not both

* **Lahni**
	+ Monk Punch Attack vs Sharpe Lestat {x4}
		- 26, 25, 21, 17
			* Hit, Hit, Hit, Miss - 88 damage

* **Astral Dreadnought**
	+ Bite Attack vs Sharpe Lestat
		- 29
			* Hit - 33 damage - *Kills him*
* **Skud** rolls *Perception* to try to find Pandora Thorne (with disadvantage)
	+ - ~~Nat20~~ 23, against Pandora Thorne's *Stealth*
			* 24 - She's still hidden
* **Astral Dreadnought**
	+ Claw Attack vs Pandora Thorne {x2} (with disadvantage)
		- ~~Nat20~~ 14, ~~Nat20~~ 14
			* Hit, Hit - ~~22~~ 44 damage
	+ One More Claw Attack vs Pandora Thorne (with disadvantage)
		- 25
			* Hit - 34 damage

* **Lucious Incendous**
	+ Sends Out Ysla Caine
	+ Sends Out Wordsworth Zics

* **Pandora Thorne**
	+ Attack vs Astral Dreadnought
		- 28
			* Hit - 88 damage

* **Ysla Caine**
	+ Casts *Fireball* vs Astral Dreadnought at 8th level, requiring a DEX Saving Throw
		- 24 - success
			* 86 damage - *Kills it*

* **Wordsworth Zics**
	+ Casts a healing spell on Pandora Thorne

*Round Three*

* **Skud**
	+ Sends Out Pyre
	+ Pumps Up Pyre

* **Pyre**
	+ Fire Breath Attack vs Ysla Caine and Wordsworth Zics, requiring DC 24 Saving Throw
		- Ysla Caine - <24
			* Fails - 87 damage - *Kills her*
		- Wordsworth Zics - <24
			* Fails - 87 damage

* **Infernal Rick**
	+ Casts Charm Ray on Wordsworth Zics, requiring a DC 16 WIS Saving Throw
		- Nat20+11 - succeeds
	+ Casts Disintegration Ray on Wordsworth Zics, requiring a DC 16 DEX Throw
		- 18 - succeeds
	+ Casts Slowing Ray on Wordsworth Zics, requiring a DC 16 DEX Saving Throw
		- 7 - fails
			* Wordsworth Zics's speed is halved, she can't take reactions, and she can only do an action or bonus on her turn, not both

* **Lahni**
	+ Monk Punch Attack vs Wordsworth Zics {x4}
		- 30, 26, 16, Nat20
			* Hit, Hit, Miss, Hit - 94 damage - *Kills her*

* **Lucious Incendous**
	+ Sends Out Duclaw Honeypaw
	+ Sends Out Killian Dred
	+ Throws a Javelin at Skud! {x2}
		- 24, 26
			* Hit, Hit - 20 damage

*Episode Ends Mid-Battle*