Aiden "Heinz" Russel

## Early Life

Born in December of 1993, Aiden spent the first three years of his life living on a boat as his father pursued his dream of escaping his white collar fraud charges and sailing for years in international waters until everyone conveniently forgot.

Most of his summers were spent at his maternal grandparent's snowbird house in California. Aiden spent most of the summers surfing and perfecting his ginger tanning skills. He entered a few competitions but was never that great and instead discovered he much preferred the swimming aspect and joined the local swim teams.

He may or may not have spent his teenaged years as a lifeguard hoping some hot guy would drown and need mouth-to-mouth.

Aiden learned how to cook from his German Oma and continues to woo all the baes with his cooking skills. Whenever he goes to Williams-Sonoma he usually has to sit down and try to remember to breathe and not buy three different casserole dishes.

## Personal Life

This boy is trash. He has one older sister, Erica, who owns more purses and small puppies to put in said purses than you have cells in your body. His mother, Marianne, is in pharmaceutical sales (her job is basically to be satan incarnated, but she is actually pretty sweet), while his father is the CFO of whatever big company is willing to overlook his horrendous track record of fraud and laundering.

Aiden is part of Wankston's swim team and is known as "Heinz" because when he was last in India, on daddy's money of course, he had another one of his "spiritual awakenings" and decided to get a tattoo done back home in a dimly lit, sketchy tattoo parlour. He wanted the tattoo to saying something fake-deep like "just breathe" but instead when a teammate who spoke Hindi saw it, he told him it said "tomato dick".

When he joined the swim team he learned of the bitter rivalry between the swim team and hockey team (though basically just a lot jealousy from the swim team) and the team's hatred of the sport and all it's players so has gone incognito. His own love of the sport transpired during the first year when he had a huge, gross crush on one of the senior players on the team from his economics class and learned everything about hockey to impress him. After he graduated, Aiden tried to purge all hockey-related trivia from his brain but apparently it would have none of it.

He can now be seen skulking around the arena trying to take snapchats of the players while acting like he is eating a McDonalds burger on a park bench nearby.

## Personality

There is a difference in how Aiden presents himself in public verses how he presents with his team, friends, alone, ect. In public he likes to be seen as an aggressive, charming, indifferent, and capable but the moment he is alone he is streaming "serious" anime in his elephant onesie and eating trail mix by the pound.

He is very private and secretive of his obsessive love with hockey, and most importantly the Wankston hockey team. When inside a car he can often be found parked at the side of the road whining at Google Maps. This boy just in general lacks common sense but likes to fashion himself as a pseudo-intellectual.

He is fiercely protective if he considers you one of his own and will proceed to mother hen the hell out of his bros.

## Trivia

* He owns two different french press machines in his studio apartment for no other reason than having disposable income
* Aiden also a calendar of inspirational dog posters. His favourite is for August, which is a bulldog puppy with the caption "life is ruff"
* Was convinced by some guys in freshman year of high school that licking his pet salamander would get him high... he was later hospitalized for severe salmonella poisoning
* His favourite stroke is freestyle 100m
* The average amount of times that Aiden passes by Wankston's GSA without ever going in is 7
* There was one time and one time only that Aiden was allowed to drive the team bus to a meet. They ended up three towns away from the meet in the middle of a farmer's field. Never again.