Make Me/Manolo - Week Two

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## Marco's Week Two

Marco is distraught about his first performance. He tries to cool down, and to his friends, he plays it off. "It's not that important." Only it is. This is his chance to fullfill his dream. Part of him wants to quit, but he's always hated his inner quiter. Everytime he doesn't like something, he runs, rather than face the consequences or grow. Now without Angel's reasuring pressence, he feels alone among his group. *At least I'm not in last place, or cut.* the thought cheered him. He recalls Rupaul Drag Race Allstars Season Two, when that queen Roxxxy pretty much snuck into fourth place, because she didn't deserve it at all. Marco smiles to himself. *All I need to do is scrape it till fourth place.* The thoughts relax him, and he tries to combat the negative voices in his head with this hope.

Before the competition, he had listened to Confession a few times, and had enjoyed it. However, he'd never really been a big Nova fan. The song is catchy and fun, something he can easily dance and sing to. This makes line memorization. It soon becomes clear his hardest part with singing is singing when he isn't supposed to, and hitting the very high notes. *Relax, relaxx.* Something about performing in front of others, especially those more talented than him, makes him so nervous he can't expand his diaphragm enough. At least he isn't wearing a binder anymore. Top surgery had it's perks, one being he could finally sing higher because he could sing louder with newfound air control. Meanwhile, like a good wall flower, he got to know the others but generally listening in to their conversations. Assuredly, the public might be confused about how quiet and shy he is now, compared to before when he and Angel would mess around all the time. It just happens, his social anxiety lessens with his friends. After a bit, he tries joining in convos, making witty remarks and dropping funny puns. It's more difficult to express himself due to his imperfect korean, but that only makes them laugh more. He gains confidence around them, but can't seem to ask for help. When they start dancing as a group, he panics; he's the just about the worst dancer.

Marco tries missing dance practice by hiding in the bathroom. Childish? Yes.Stupid? Yes. Marco just couldn't cope with his anxiety of dancing in front of them. He knows he would mess up and cry. he can't cry. Hyemi seemed to pick up on this, and went out of her way to be kind to him. It eases him, and Marco gains strength to ask her for help. She obliges and helps him with the dance, being good at it herself. Marco loves being tall, but it makes him so sluggish. His two left feet didn't help at all. She probably saw him at his lowest during week two, becoming his rock. Once he starts getting it, he starts having fun. Marco is embarrased at looking so week, and apologizes to his group members, tears in his eyes. Despite wanting to hide it, he's not as big as his height. He's a kid. They run through the dance, singing. He isn't perfect, but he apologizes and continues training. They all want to win- that's why they worked till late. In an interview, Marco jokes "I swear I gained abs from this work out," and then says "Hyemi says the choreography isn't as hard as I think it is though, so maybe not. " he laughs and rubs his stomach, probably making viewers curious.

By the end of the week, they have it mostly done, but Marco still feels he's the weakest. At least training hard helps him not think about the guilt of coming home to his dorm room. On the night before filming, he stays up talking to his friends, until he forces himself to sleep at 12. He hates himself for his decision. The group also depends on him for rankings. He practices hard before the performance, chanting a mantra to increase his confidence. "You're worth it, you're worth it." He's never been as religious as he should, but he prays. It's time for their group. You could tell in the performance, Marco is nervous, even so, as the song progresses, he is more comfortable, and when he ends the song with the final line, he's a natural. Not everything is perfect, but he kills the singing. Thank God for having less lines then a lot of his group mates. Marco smiles at the camera, recklessly dabbing. Honestly, he harrasses people who dab, so it's funny that he does it himself. He winks as well, walking off the stage laughing.