Funky Jesus

"**Funky Jesus**" is the eighth track from *Inception of Perfection**.*

## Story

"Funky Jesus" follows a married couple struggling with their relationship. The track begins with a man named Stephen praying to God with the hope of finding answers. Instead, his prayers are answered by the eponymous character who claims to know how to rekindle Stephen's marriage. Funky Jesus' help merely consists of advice on how to "get funky", which angers Stephen to the point where he interrupts the song and demands proper assistance. Funky Jesus responds by finally co-operating with Stephen until he returns to his original ways and even offers Stephen's wife, Fiona, the chance to go with him instead and enjoy a life "filled with funk". Stephen attempts to convince Fiona to stay, but Fiona rejects him and leaves with Funky Jesus. Shocked and confused, Stephen begs Fiona to return and breaks down in tears as the track ends.

## Lyrics

```
This is the story of a man who's trying his best to fight for the woman he loves
And has no choice, but to turn to the last resort

Stephen: Please, God, hear my prayer
I fear I'm losing her
She's my one and only
I don't want her to leave me
Oh, what do I do?

Funky Jesus: I hear you need guidance, young one
Stephen: Oh thank God you came
Funky Jesus: Oh don't thank God, thank Jesus. Funky Jesus
Stephen: What?

Funky Jesus: I hear you're down in the dumps, my friend
I hear you're trying your best to make amends
That you give each other oral, but you can't get it up
Your marriage is breaking down 'cause you just can't fu--
Stephen: Whoa! Whoa! I never said that
I... I can't connect with her anymore mentally, emotionally

Funky Jesus: My mistake! Fear not, for I have the answers that you seek
Now this is what you've got to do
You've got to break the chains to connect one-to-one
Now take a deep breath and open your mind
Take the stereo, plug it in, turn it on, bob your head along
Turn it up, turn it round, now it's time to hit the ground

It's time to get funky

Now take it to the left, bounce to the right
Keep it going, girl, I can do this all night
Now do a barrel roll, you've gotta lose all control
Feel a little soul, Funky Jesus will fill that hole
Hey, work that barge pole. Yeah, you're making me swole
Shake your ass to the ground, I've got a boner inbound
Let me take you on a bode, 'cause I'm about to explode
No time to mope around, let's go another round

Now take it to the left, bounce to the right
Keep it going, girl, I can do this all night
Now do a barrel roll, you've gotta lose all control
Feel a little soul, Funky Jesus will fill that hole

Stephen: No! No! Enough! Enough!
Now you help me with my wife or you take your shit music and leave!

Funky Jesus: I'm sorry you feel that way
But rest assured I'll show ya
How to rekindle that
Love between you and Fiona

So first you take her hand and you look her in the eyes
And you tell her how you feel, that she's the reason you're alive
That you love her the way she is, from how she talks to how she moves
And now it's time to hit play and get down with the groove
Funky Jesus, oh won't you please us
With your impeccable moves, your awe-inspiring grooves?
Funk me, Funky Jesus, show me how to funk
Funk me, Funky Jesus, what you packing in that trunk?

Funky x5
Funky Jesus! Funky Jesus! (Funky)

Now take it to the left, (Funky) bounce to the right (Funky)
Keep it going, girl, (Funky) I can do this all night (Funky)
Now do a barrel roll, (Funky Jesus) you've gotta lose all control (Funky Jesus)
Feel a little soul, (Funky Jesus) Funky Jesus will fill that hole (Funky Jesus)
Hey, work that barge pole. (Funky) Yeah, you're making me swole (Funky)
Shake your ass to the ground, (Funky) I've got a boner inbound (Funky)
Let me take you on a bode, (Funky Jesus) 'cause I'm about to explode (Funky Jesus)
No time to mope around, (Funky Jesus) let's go another round (Funky Jesus)

Let's go, Fiona. Don't stay with this punk
Come with me and I'll show you a life filled with funk
Stephen: Fiona, forgive me. I'm not funky, so
Just give me one more chance to do it all again
Fiona: You had your chance, Stephen, and you blew it

Stephen: You can't be serious
Fiona? No! Don't leave me, please
I can change, I can be a better man! Don't go... No...
I'll learn how to funk! I'll be a better man! Don't leave me
Fiona? Fiona!

```

## Personnel

* Neil Beforeme – vocals, writer, programming
* Peteorite – programming