Episode Three: Hog Wild

**“***Thinking of becoming a crazy old cat lady, Luce? Not very sexy, but you've got the costume down.***”**
— **Dr. Edison Tucker****, Episode Three: Hog Wild**

## Episode Three: Hog Wild

Unofficial cover image made for this wiki. Background by Caitlin Hoilman.

## Setting

### Location(s)

* The Holy Grill
* Lincoln Farms

## Episode Guide

### Next

Episode Two: Flight of the Amphibians
Episode Four: Ed Tucker Can Die?

### Transcript

*Click here for transcript*

What's that lurking in the pigpen?

## Summary

*The following is a summary written for this wiki. It only hits the major points of the episode and, as such, should not be used as a substitute for listening to the episode as intended by the creators.*
The episode opens with Ed and Lucy in The Holy Grill arguing about the practicality of dragons and their supposed ability to breathe fire. The argument then begins to escalate to personal attacks until Mama Gabe interrupts them, chastising them for causing a disturbance in the diner. Lincoln then comes in, covered in blood. It turns out some creature is attacking his pigs at night. After telling Ed about the situation, she's excited to see what kind of creature could be behind the attacks and agrees to help Lincoln.

The next day, Ed and Lucy head to Lincoln Farms to check out the carnage. From the wounds, Ed deduces the creature has to be quite large with huge claws. Since the pigs are not completely eaten and the attacks happen every couple of days, she suspects its a carrion feeder. While going through a list of possible culprits, Lucy asks about cougars which prompts a crack from Ed about her wanting to become a crazy cat lady. Naturally, Lucy takes offense but Ed moves on, asking Thomas if she can set up a tent to observe the area that night. He agrees.

Later that night, Ed is in her tent watching the pigpen. She and Lucy continue to argue over a walkie-talkie. Lucy has been holding the crazy cat lady joke from earlier in contempt since it compares her to an old, senile, invalid woman and it struck a nerve. Before Ed can attempt making amends, she hears a noise from the pigpen. She goes to look, to Lucy's protest. As she examines the scene, she snaps a twig on accident, drawing the creature's attention. The creature lunges at and pins Ed. It stares her down before telling here, "It is not your time yet." Lincoln shoots at the creature which scares it off. Lincoln and Lucy rush over to make she Ed is alright. She's uninjured but freaked out. Ed begins to vomit, seemingly from a panic attack. Lincoln leaves to get a car to take them home while Lucy tends caringly for her troubled housemate.

## Notable Events

* Ruhi Shirvan is first mentioned.
* A second creature tells Ed is it not her time yet.

* Ed makes note of Lucy's quick appearance after the creature attacks her and Lucy later states she didn't take a car. It is likely she flew there with her still unrevealed wings.
* After Lucy rips into Ed about the crazy cat lady jab and how she, with her disabilities, doesn't appreciate being compared to an invalid woman, Ed, as an attempt at reconciliation, says "Look, the reason I haven't-" and is cut off but the creature's appearance. It is highly likely she was about to admit that she hasn't read Lucy's books because she can't read.
* While Ed is in shock, Lucy says they should get Ed to bed. Ed retorts, maybe flirtatiously, that she thought Lucy cared about decorum. Lucy is flustered by this.

## Quotes

**“***Dragons, if they were to exist, would not be able to breathe fire simply because of the constitution of most reptiles! You cannot bend the laws of nature just to suit what you think would “look cool”!***”**
— **Lucille Kensington****, Episode Three: Hog Wild**

**“***As much as business has improved since customers get the option of dinner and a show with you two, I would sorely appreciate if y’all could take it down a couple of notches.***”**
— **Mama Gabe****, Episode Three: Hog Wild**

**“***I’ll put it on a Bible though, I’ve never seen claw marks like that from a wolf. Half my pig’s stomachs have been torn open like a chainsaw through butter. The other half are just getting fatter.* **”**
— **Thomas Lincoln****, Episode Three: Hog Wild**

**“***It is not your time yet.***”**
— **Creature****, Episode Three: Hog Wild**

## Cast and Characters

* Dr. Edison Tucker played by Newton Schottelkotte
* Lucille Kensington played by Madelyn Harvieux
* Mama Gabe played by Kiera Gill
* Mike Elle played by Kyle Street
* Thomas Lincoln played by John Hardcastle
* Unknown Creature played by Newton Schottelkotte
* Ruhi Shirvan is mentioned.

## Credits

Where the Stars Fell is a production of Caldera Studios, and is written and produced by Newton Schottelkotte. The voice of Thomas Lincoln was John Hardcastle. The voice of Lucille Kensington was Madelyn Harvieux. The voice of Mama Gabe was Kiera Gill. The voice of Mike Elle was Kyle Street. The voice of Dr. Edison Tucker and the creature was Newton Schottelkotte. Script edits were done by Lucy Brown, with a sensitivity read by Kit Addams. All sound effects taken from Audio Library, Sound Library, Nagaty Studio, original foley, or used under Creative Commons License. Find transcripts, social media links, and places to listen at “wherethestarsfell dot com”.

## Notes

* Lucy reveals that she does not keep kosher due to limited options available in town.
* We learn Ed's middle name is Delilah.

* EP 01: The Olive Branch
* EP02: Flight of the Amphibians
* **EP03: Hog Wild**
* EP04: Ed Tucker Can Die?
* EP05: Glossophobia
* EP06: Tinfoil Isn't Your Color
* EP07 All Fights Reserved
* EP08: Be Not Afraid
* MS01: Romancing the Stone
* Season Two Q&A
* MS02: Full Pod
* EP09: Introductions
* EP10: Happy Birthday Edison
* EP11: British Doll
* EP12: Hell Is a Teenage Blogger
* EP13: Retribution Part 1
* EP14: Retribution Part 2
* EP15: Animal Control
* MS03: Plan B(affle)
* EP16: Shir-lock Holmes
* EP17 Dear Listener
* Starfall Crossover: Star vs Star: The Star-cial Network (Starfall Version)
* EP18: T'Shuva
* The Amelia Project Crossover: The Perils of Freelancing
* MS04: Minutes
* EP19: Don't Burn Down the House
* SP01: The Christmas Chronicle
* MF05: Don't Ask, Don't Tell
* Season Three Q&A
* MS06: Whitechapel
* Seen and Not Heard Crossover: Two Jews In A Room Signing
* EP20: Boiling Over
* EP21: Everybody Goes To the Rapture
* EP22: Who's Afraid of Ken Keeler?
* EP23: And the Prom Is Tomorrow
* Forgive Me! Crossover: Forgive Where The Stars Fell
* EP24: Something Other Than the Desperation
* EP25: Probability
* EP26: The Circle: Part 1
* EP27: The Circle: Part 2
* Fawx and Stallion Crossover: The Case of the Deus Ex Machina