2018/19 Groupy McGroupface Presidential Elections

**The** **2018/19 Groupy McGroupface Presidential Elections** were the fifth Groupy McGroupface Presidential Elections to take place within the Group Chat (in canon), but the third to be performed by group chat members. Incumbent President Frank Underwood was unable to run for a third term, due to laws set out by the Groupy McGroupface Constitution. Major candidates included Josiah Bartlet, Hercule Poirot and Arnold Vinick. Josiah Bartlet eventually won the general election with 171 electoral votes and he was inaugurated as President of Groupy McGroupface in March. In addition to this, Bartlet's running mate Matt Santos was inaugurated as Vice President of Groupy McGroupface. This therefore meant that the Democratic Party held onto the White House for a fifth consecutive term.

## Candidates

### Democratic Party Candidates

* Josiah Bartlet (WINNER)
* Al Gore
* Claire Underwood
* Peter Russo (Died before vote took place)

### Baker Street Party Candidates

* Hercule Poirot (WINNER)
* James Comey
* Robert Mueller

### Republican Party Candidates

* Arnold Vinick (WINNER)
* Donald Trump
* Joseph McCarthy
* Jacob Rees-Mogg
* Glen Allen Walken (Withdrew candidacy before vote took place)

### Libertarian Party Candidates

* Ron Swanson (WINNER)
* Vermin Supreme
* Lord Buckethead
* Batte S. Casey
* Thomas Nostradamus
* Sarah Palin

### Cat Party Candidates

* Ollie the Polite Cat (WINNER)
* Sōseki Natsume

### Third Party and Independent General Election Candidates

* Batte S. Casey [INDPENDENT]
* King Julien XIII [PARTYING PARTY]
* Johnny Appleseed [GREEN PARTY]
* Raymond Holt [LGBTQ+ PARTY]
* Prince Hans of the Southern Isles [COMMUNIST PARTY]
* Arlene Foster [DEMOCRATIC UNIONIST PARTY]
* Tommy Robinson [GROUP CHAT FIRST]
* Donald Trump [INDEPENDENT]

### Vice Presidential Candidates

* Matt Santos [DEMOCRATIC PARTY]
* Arthur Hastings [BAKER STREET PARTY]
* Glen Allen Walken [REPUBLICAN PARTY]
* Leslie Knope [LIBERTARIAN PARTY]
* Sōseki Natsume [CAT PARTY]
* Grub [INDEPENDENT: Batte S Casey]
* Mort [PARTYING PARTY]
* Al Gore [GREEN PARTY]
* Kevin Cozner [LGTBQ+ PARTY]
* Prince Humperdinck [COMMUNIST PARTY]
* Nigel Dodds [DEMOCRATIC UNIONIST PARTY]
* Paul Golding [GROUP CHAT FIRST]
* Joseph McCarthy [INDEPENDENT: Donald Trump]

## Pre-Primaries

Full-time media coverage surrounding the Presidential Election commenced on GCNN in November 2019, with panel conducted by Stohk Ihmage with political figures Nicola Sturgeon, Nigel Farage, Bill Weld, John H. Watson and Larry the Cat. Shortly after this, the first candidate to declare was Democratic Governor Josiah Bartlet. In the coming weeks, a total of 23 candidates were to announce their intention to run for the Presidency.

Shortly into the pre-primary cycle, First Lady Claire Underwood began mulling a bid for the Presidency. She began exploring a run after meeting with several potential campaign staffers, a group which included White House Senior Advisor Mark Usher. When Claire is all alone, she turns her head to the audience watching the role-play and declares that she has always known of their presence. This direct fourth wall break is similar to an act carried out by her husband after the events of Sangue. Whilst analysing polling data for the primary, potential candidates Vice President Tim Kaine and Governor Peter Russo are established as being the two largest threats to Claire's candidacy. Whilst Josiah Bartlet had declared his intention to run for the Presidency, he was not at this time considered a frontrunner. Additionally, stories currently swirling around regarding Frank Underwood's involvement in the death of Zoe Barnes are also potentially damaging, with journalist Tom Hammerschmidt currently looking into the matter. Claire eventually decides that she must eradicate all threats.

As expected, Governor Peter Russo did in fact declare that he would be running for President. Russo was a political figure that had often been rather open about his struggles with mental health and alcoholism. Despite this, he often used this to his advantage in order to gain sympathy from voters, and during his campaign launch he declared "What doesn't kill you simply makes you stronger". As a result of Russo's honesty and openness, he appeared to be a frontrunner for the Democratic Party Presidential Nomination.

President Frank Underwood meet with Claire to discuss their plans to squash any threats to the impending Presidential campaign. Firstly, they agree that Tim Kaine must be coerced into not running for the nomination. As for Russo, they remain unsure as to how they can handle him, due to the fact that he has already announced his campaign. In regards to the allegations of murder against Frank, they ultimately decide that White House Chief of Staff Doug Stamper must take the fall and declare himself guilty. The pair meet with Doug, who is initially hesitant of the idea, however after being promised a Presidential pardon, he complies. Soon after this, Frank Underwood carries out the second part of the plan and manipulates Kaine into not running for the Presidency after threatening his life.

The following week, Doug Stamper falsely confessed to the charges was arrested on suspicion of murder, and consequently resigned as White House Chief of Staff. The White House immediately distanced themselves from Stamper, and Mark Usher was appointed to fill the role of Chief of Staff for the following months.

After having created an endless amount of potential schemes, Frank Underwood eventually decides on the method in which he plans to destroy Peter Russo's career, thus paving the way for Claire's Presidential campaign. The plan begun with Frank inviting Russo, who was known to be a recovering alcoholic, to the White House for a drink. Whilst sat in the Oval Office, Russo is offered a drink of whiskey, to which he politely declines. Despite this, Underwood insists, eventually causing Russo to give in and take the drink. One drink soon turns into numerous drinks, and not before long Peter Russo becomes intoxicated. He is in a dreadful state, which becomes rather convenient for the Underwood's. Russo had forgotten was that he was meant to be at a campaign press conference shortly, which could not be cancelled at such short notice.

At this press conference following his meeting with Underwood, the fact that Peter is intoxicated becomes rather apparent to all of those present. A reporter questions his sobriety, which ultimately causes him to fly off the handle and swear at the reporters. This is disastrous for his campaign, and he soon loses his frontrunner status for the Democratic Presidential Nomination. Potential candidate Claire Underwood overtakes him in the polls, whilst already announced candidates Governor Josiah Bartlet and Secretary Al Gore trail shortly behind.

Shortly after this takes place, Frank and Claire make a decision to kill Peter Russo and Tom Hammerschmidt, viewing them as future liabilities to the campaign. As a result, Frank meets with an intoxicated Peter Russo later that night at an abandoned parking garage. After Russo passes out due to his drunkenness and is out cold, Underwood seizes the moment. He removes all traces of himself from the car, and guides Russo's finger to the ignition, starting the car. Frank exits the car, and leaves the garage, closing the door behind him, leaving Russo to suffocate and die. Simultaneously, Tom Hammerschmidt, whilst eating out at a small local restaurant accompanied by his dog, is hunted down by an assassin working for the Underwood's. After spotting that he was being pursued by a masked-man, Hammerschmidt placed a USB stick onto the dog's collar containing his investigation into Frank Underwood's dirty deeds. The assassin enters the restaurant, orders Hammerschmidt to his knees, and proceeds to shoot him, killing him instantly.

The following day, it was reported by media outlets that Peter Russo had committed suicide and Tom Hammerschmidt was killed in a bank robbery gone wrong. With the exception of conspiracy theorists, no major figures accused the Underwood's of having ties to these deaths, allowing them to go unpunished for their actions. As a consequence of this, Claire decided it was finally time to announce her candidacy for the Presidency. In her announcement speech, she claimed that with the death of Russo there was no clear leader for the party, causing her to step up and run for office.

## Democratic Party Presidential Primaries

Throughout the primary, Claire Underwood campaigned vigorously on a platform that supported women's rights, as well as rights for other minorities. Whilst some were critical of her campaign due to her ties to her husband's Presidency, she hit back by calling such attacks 'misogynistic'. Underwood often claimed that people were against her candidacy not because of the issues, but because she was a woman. She would often criticise Governor Jed Bartlet and Secretary Al Gore, and called for an end to the 'reign of the middle-aged white man'. In the meantime, Bartlet ran a campaign that was primarily focused on introducing free healthcare to the group chat and lowering university tuition fees. Al Gore, on the other hand, put the environment at the forefront and centre of his campaign. Gore felt that Frank Underwood had not taken the threat of global warming seriously enough, and demanded immediate action on the issue.

Mid-way through the primary, Josiah Bartlet received the endorsement of former President James Hewett. Giving the opening speech at a campaign rally, Hewett stated that Bartlet is a 'true Democrat', unlike incumbent President Frank Underwood. Meanwhile, Claire Underwood was endorsed by Democratic Party Senate Leader Hillary Clinton. Clinton claimed that she was confident the party would be in safe hands under Underwood's leadership, hence the endorsement.

At the Democratic Party Presidential Debate, a heated argument ensued between Gore and Underwood. When Underwood made an attempt at discrediting Gore's record, Gore fired back and claimed that her election to the Presidency would be a "glorified third term of [Frank Underwood's] Presidency". In response, Underwood made allegations of sexism against the Secretary, an argument which Gore would then refer to as "scarecrow debating". The tension between these two candidates continued as the night progressed, with both of them still throwing insults at each other during the course of the closing statements.

### **Democratic Party Presidential Primary Results**

**1ST PLACE: Jed Bartlet - 2,000 VOTES**

**2ND PLACE: Al Gore - 1,000 VOTES**

**3RD PLACE: Claire Underwood - 100 VOTES**

Turnout for the Democratic Party Presidential Primary was one of the lowest turnouts ever for any Presidential Primary, demonstrating the lack of support that the Democrats were receiving at this moment in time. This low turnout was largely due to President Frank Underwood's low approval ratings, as well as many former party members to switching to other political parties.

At the Democratic Party National Convention, President Frank Underwood, Claire Underwood and Al Gore all gave speeches throwing their support behind Jed Bartlet's candidacy for the Presidency. During her speech, Claire took the opportunity to declare that, following her loss in the primary, she would now be running for a seat in the Senate. In his acceptance speech, Bartlet acknowledged the low turnout of the primary, but said he hoped that he could welcome back old party members under new leadership. He finished his speech by announcing Senator Matt Santos would be his running mate, praising Senator Santos as a long-time champion of equality and justice.

## Baker Street Party Presidential Primaries

Former Baker Street Party Presidential Nominee Hercule Poirot was running for a re-match against the Democratic Party, once again running a campaign advocating for liberalism, open-mindedness and forward-thinking. Former FBI Directors James Comey and Robert Mueller ran on similar platforms, often promoting the need for honestly, transparency and the rule of law.

Half-way through the primary, an event occurred which put all campaigning to a sudden halt. The 99th Precinct of the New York City Police Department was sent a suspicious package of white powder, in an attack which seemed to be aimed at third party candidate Raymond Holt. As a consequence of this, the Precinct was forced to go on lock-down, with no-one allowed to leave or enter the building. The white powder was later proven to be non-harmful, and as a result the incident ended with no injuries or casualties.

The Baker Street Party Presidential Debate remained civil throughout, with no major arguments breaking out between any of the three candidates. Whilst there were small disagreements in regards to certain policies, the three candidates all shared similar ideologies, and as a result there were no quarrels to be had.

### **Baker Street Party Presidential Primary Results**

**1ST PLACE: Hercule Poirot - 3,000 VOTES**

**2ND PLACE [JOINT]: James Comey and Robert Mueller - 1,000 VOTES**

Hercule Poirot was successful in regaining the Baker Street Party Presidential Nomination, meaning that he was to be the party's representation for the General Election in two consecutive cycles. The turnout for the Baker Street Party Presidential Primary was twice that of the Democratic Party Presidential Primary. It was therefore stated that this would put Poirot in a good place to take on Bartlet in the forthcoming election.

At the Baker Street Party National Convention, James Comey and Robert Mueller both gave speeches endorsing Hercule Poirot, declaring that he was likely to be the next President of Groupy McGroupface. Party Chairman Sherlock Holmes also gave a speech, announcing his support for the Poirot campaign. After accepting the nomination and addressing party members, Poriot proclaimed that Arthur Hastings, who had previously been his running mate the previous year, would once again join him and become the Baker Street Party Vice Presidential Nominee.

## Cat Party Presidential Primaries

Ollie the Polite Cat focused the entirety of his Presidential campaign around the basis that all group chat members should be well-mannered, civil and courteous to one another. He believed that, if this were to be achieved, then Groupy McGroupface would be a more prosperous and well-respected group chat. Meanwhile, Soseki Natsume, whilst not a cat himself, ran on a fully cat-centric platform. He argued that 'cat' should be taught as a foreign language in schools, and claimed more Cats within Congress would be better for the group chat's political system.

Cat Party activist and former running mate to Alex Twickenham, Harley Quin, delivered a press conference during the primary in order to give his full support to Ollie the Cat. He claimed it was ridiculous to have a human running for the party's nomination, and therefore implored all cats to vote for Ollie. The debate between the two candidates was moderated by Glupi Petkat, and saw the candidates discuss cat-related issues.

### **Cat Party Presidential Primary Results**

**1ST PLACE: Ollie - 3,000 VOTES**

**2ND PLACE: Soseki Natsume - 1,000 VOTES**

Ollie the Polite Cat received a large victory against Soseki Natsume, having accumulated a grand total of 75% of the overall votes. Whilst Natsume had received a portion of votes, it was clear that the party wished to have an actual cat represent them at the upcoming General Election.

At the Cat Party National Convention, both Harley Quin and Cat Party Senate Leader Larry gave speeches declaring their endorsement for Ollie's candidacy. Ollie gave a long speech, personally thanking and naming all 3,000 people that had voted for him in the primary. After doing so, he declared that his former opponent, Soseki Nastsume, would be his running mate, and effectively the Cat Party Vice Presidential Nominee.

## Libertarian Party Presidential Primaries

Lord Buckethead, who claimed to be an intergalactic space lord, ran a quirky campaign filled with a number of extraordinarily bizarre ideas. For example, he supported sending Lord Squidy to the Phantom Zone, and promised a referendum on whether or not to have another Grexit referendum. Senator Vermin Supreme, who has mounted a Presidential bid the previous year, ran a similarly quixotic campaign, advocating for a law requiring people to brush their teeth. Two-time Libertarian Presidential Nominee Batte S. Casey, who had his sights on re-gaining the nomination, also had his fair share of unusual ideas, centring his campaign around providing group chat members with free ponies. Meanwhile, soothsayer Thomas Nostradamus was campaigning on the prospect that he could see into the future and therefore predict all future problems that the group chat may face. In addition to this, Director of the Pawnee City Department of Parks and Recreation Ron Swanson fought on the sole issue to disband the government altogether, whilst Former Governor Sarah Palin appeared to have little-to-no policies and seemed very confused throughout the whole of the primary.

Whilst on the campaign trail, Vermin Supreme ran into a number of different problems. Supreme had attempted to bring his real-life pony, Tony, out on a meet-and-greet, however things soon turned south after the Senator approached a child. He attempted to entice a child to talk with him through his pony, to which the Mother of this child responded to by calling the police. Concurrently Thomas Nostradamus held a 'Prediction Night Special', whereby he claimed that the likes of Peter Russo and Will Conway would rise from the dead and launch a Communist revolution. Whilst these events were taking place, Sarah Palin held a number of press conferences, whereby she continuously could not correctly answer questions that were put to her by the press. Meanwhile, Batte S. Casey and Lord Buckethead primarily released posters as a part of their campaign strategies.

The Libertarian Party Presidential Debate was ultimately rather chaotic. Only several minutes into the debate, an argument erupted between Vermin Supreme and Ron Swanson, with the former calling the latter a "pony hater". Batte S. Casey soon also joined in with the argument, declaring that he had been told that Vermin Supreme a "white supremacist" by a label on a milk carton. After Lord Buckethead spoke up to put his ideas across, Ron Swanson interjected and questioned the intergalactic space being on his title of "lord". Batte S. Casey then proceeded to accuse Lord Buckethead of being a Martian spy, whilst Sarah Palin claimed it was possible to see Mars from her backyard. Casey went on to challenge Buckethead to a duel with guns, to which Buckethead responded to by promising that, if elected President, he would exile Casey to the Phantom Zone.

### **Libertarian Party Presidential Primary Results**

**1ST PLACE [JOINT]: Vermin Supreme and Ron Swanson - 2,000 VOTES EACH**

**2ND PLACE [JOINT]: Lord Buckethead, Batte S. Casey, Thomas Nostradamus and Sarah Palin - 100 VOTES EACH**

The vote was a tie, meaning that a tie-breaker was to take place between winning candidates Vermin Supreme and Ron Swanson. Batte S. Casey was unsuccessful in re-gaining the nomination, demonstrating a shift in the viewpoints of Libertarian Party members. Thomas Nostradamus released a statement after the results, and declared that whilst he had incorrectly predicted that he himself would win the primary, there was an explanation as to why. He claimed that the names 'Nostradamus' and 'Supreme' sounded very similar, and that it was an easy mistake to make. Nostradamus then went on to endorse Supreme for the tie-breaker. Supreme also put out a statement after the results, claiming that whilst he held a number of varying ideas for the group chat, Swanson had none.

### **Libertarian Presidential Primary Run-Off Election Results**

**1ST PLACE: Ron Swanson - 4,000 VOTES**

**2ND PLACE: Vermin Supreme - 2,000 VOTES**

Whilst Ron Swanson was able to boost his number of voters by a grand total of 2,000, Vermin Supreme did not receive an increase from his primary result, and as a consequence Swanson was named as the Libertarian Party Presidential Nominee. Both Sarah Palin and Lord Buckethead both spoke at the Convention, throwing their support behind Swanson's Presidential bid in the upcoming General Election. Thomas Nostradamus also spoke at the Convention and claimed he had correctly predicted that Swanson would be the nominee all along, and the reason why he had made a mistake initially was because both candidates had a surname that begun with the letter 's'. Swanson's main opponent, Supreme, also endorsed him, due to the fact that he felt a Libertarian in the White House would be one step further in introducing pony legislation. Meanwhile, Batte S. Casey did not speak at the Convention and was nowhere to be seen. Ron Swanson gave only a very small speech at the Convention, as a result of finding conventions pointless, and announced that Deputy Director of the Pawnee City Department of Parks and Recreation Leslie Knope would be made the Libertarian Party Vice Presidential Nominee.

## Republican Party Presidential Primaries

Governor Arnold Vinick, an economically conservative yet socially liberal politician, ran on a platform of re-inventing and uniting the Republican Party after two consecutive disastrous Presidential campaigns. Senator Glen Allen Walken ran a campaign focused on traditional conservative Republican values, as did UKGC Member of Parliament Jacob Rees-Mogg. Meanwhile Penguin Club Secretary of Defence Donald Trump, who had previously run a failed campaign the year prior, argued for once again uniting with Penguin Club in order to form a large Twitter empire alongside Lord Squidy. On the other hand, Congressman Joseph McCarthy centred his campaign around taking down an alleged Communist conspiracy taking place within Groupy McGroupface.

Shortly into the primary, Glen Allen Walken suspended his Presidential Campaign in order to throw his support behind Vinick's candidacy. He felt that Vinick was in the best position to save the party from its demise, hence why he chose to endorse him. The two gentlemen would later hold a rally together, during which Vinick announced his economic plans of reducing taxes for group chat members. Joseph McCarthy and Donald Trump ran somewhat less civilised campaigns, with each candidate holding rallies filled with mudslinging towards other candidates.

The Republican Party Presidential Primary Debate was hosted by Former Governor and 2016/17 Presidential candidate Theresa May. During the debate, Arnold Vinick attempted to hold both McCarthy and Trump accountable for their negative style of campaigning, arguing that the claims they make often do not have the facts to support them. Jacob Rees-Mogg, on the other hand, seemed to believe he was still in the 18th Century, and scoffed at the concept of technology. Trump and McCarthy launched vicious attacks at Vinick throughout, however the Governor chose not to stoop down to their level and instead responded both with courtesy and politeness. Eventually, however, Trump and McCarthy turned on each other ending up physically fighting on the debate stage.

### **Republican Party Presidential Primary Results**

**1ST PLACE: Arnold Vinick - 5,000 VOTES**

**2ND PLACE: Donald Trump - 1,000 VOTES**

**3RD PLACE: Joseph McCarthy and Jacob Rees-Mogg - 100 VOTES EACH**

Vinick won the primary with 81% of the overall votes cast, which was the largest percentage of votes for any of the primaries that took place within this election season. In addition to this, the 5,000 votes received also set the record for the most votes gained by a Presidential Party nominee. Shortly after these results were announced, Jacob Rees-Mogg delivered a press conference and stated that he would be returning to the UKGC, and as a result would not be in attendance at the Convention. Despite this, he still endorsed Vinick's candidacy for the General Election and wished him the best of luck.

At the Republican Party National Convention, Senators Kelsey Grammer and Marco Rubio both gave speeches affirming that party members had made the right choice selecting Vinick, therefore giving support to his Presidential campaign. Alternatively, Donald Trump declared in his speech that he would not be endorsing Vinick, and was instead launching an independent bid for the Presidency with Joseph McCarthy as his running mate. At the Convention's conclusion, Vinick announced Senator Glen Allen Walken would be his running mate for the General Election.

## General Election

On the first day of the General Election, King Julien XIII, who is King of the lemurs, made a formal declaration that he would be running for President of Groupy McGroupface. He claimed that politics was neither fun nor entertaining, but his campaign would change this prospect. His third-party bid for the Presidency was done underneath the banner of a newly-founded party known as the 'Partying Party'.

Several days into the General Election, Jed Bartlet held a public press conference whereby he intended to make an important announcement in regards to his candidacy. He revealed to the press that he suffers from Relapsing Remitting Multiple-Sclerosis (RRMS). Bartlet stated that he wanted to put all of his cards out on the table before the election continued, therefore carrying out his promise of leading an honest and transparent campaign. His wife Abigail, a qualified doctor, also spoke at the rally and assured all of those present that the RRMS would in no way affect Bartlet with his work as President. Arnold Vinick delivered a rally shortly after this event, giving his sympathy to Bartlet, and expressing the opinion that voters should consider policies only and not perceived weaknesses in health.

The first Main Party Presidential Debate featured Jed Bartlet, Hercule Poirot, Arnold Vinick and Ron Swanson and was moderated by Judge Gen. The debate remained fairly civil throughout, although a point of disagreement was raised between Poirot and Vinick on the topic of vaccinations. In addition to this, a heated argument did ensue between Bartlet and Vinick on the topic of lowering the voting age, to which the latter, who was in favour of this idea, argued that Vinick was unreasonably dismissive of this particular issue. Meanwhile, Swanson responded to every question by telling the moderator that politics was pointless. Despite the odd difference of opinion here and there, Bartlet, Poirot and Vinick appeared to have fairly similar approaches on a number of different issues. When Judge Gen expressed her surprise at the three men agreeing with one another, Vinick spoke of his admiration for his fellow candidates, and wished them the best of luck for the rest of their campaigns.

A few days after this, the Third Party and Independents Presidential Debate took place. Several minutes into the debate, Donald Trump and Prince Hans Westergaard of the Southern Isles launched into a heated argument regarding the latter's use of derogatory comments. Despite this, the two candidates would later agree with each other that all forms of media should be controlled by the government. In the meantime, Ollie the Polite Cat advocated for being nice to one another, holding the belief that people should treat each other fairly. Half-way through the debate, after growing bored of all the 'politicking' taking place, King Julien XIII exited the debate, making the excuse that he had "regal business" to attend to.

The next debate to follow was the Vice Presidential Debate, which saw Senator Matt Santos, Arthur Hastings, Senator Glen Allen Walken and Leslie Knope all take to a debate stage. The candidates were asked what type of VP they would be if elected to office, and how they would deal with moderating Senate debates. Whilst Santos and Hastings appeared to side with one another on the majority of issues, Walken was considerably more right-wing than his opponents.

As the General Election began to wrap up, a certain surprise took place just a few days before voters would take to the ballot box. Former Vice President Jeremy Corbyn re-emerged after having been out of the spotlight for two years, and endorsed Communist Party candidate Prince Hans. He claimed that the Underwood Administration had silenced his views whilst in office, but that would change from this moment on. Corbyn made the argument that the group chat was in need of a major shake-up, which is something that Hans would be able to provide.

On the final day of the Election, the social media network YouTwitFace was hacked into, along with air traffic controls and the bank of Groupy McGroupface. This induced mass-panic, as well as the circulation of fake news. The government were taken aback by the incident, and were unsure how to deal with the situation. Eventually, the incident was stopped after a group chat member bought the domain that the hackers were using to try and get ransom money off people. As a result, the incident reached a peaceful resolution.

Following this event, the Second Main Party Presidential Debate took place on the final evening before the election. The biggest disagreement of the night revolved around as to whether the military should upgrade Air Force One. Hercule Poirot was in favour of this, whilst Bartlet was primarily opposed to it, viewing the idea as a colossal waste of money. Poirot attempted to argue that an upgrade would prevent from potential attacks, Bartlet said that such attacks are already impossible, therefore rendering the upgrade pointless. During the closing statements, Bartlet, Poirot and Vinick all agreed that this had been a well-fought election on all sides, and that bipartisanship was the way forward to a prosperous group chat. Meanwhile, Swanson continued to argue that the whole election was a complete waste of time.

In a shocking turn of events, the Green Party (who had previously claimed they would not enter a candidate) came forward on the final night before polling day in order to declare they would in fact be fielding a candidate for the following day's election. Unsatisfied with Bartlet's campaign, Senator Johnny Appleseed became the Green Party Presidential Nominee and implored voters to elect him in order to put climate change as the primary focus of the group chat. He also announced Secretary of the Interior and former Presidential candidate Al Gore, who has previously endorsed Bartlet, would be leaving the Democratic Party in order to become the Green Party Vice Presidential Nominee.

After the announcement of Appleseed, another shock third-party candidacy announcement took place. Senator Batte S. Casey, who was previously thought to have been missing, suddenly re-emerged and declared that the Libertarian Party Presidential Primary had been rigged against him. As a consequence, he would be mounting a third-party bid for the Presidency. Casey announced that Congressman Grub would be his running mate, with the latter then threatening all of those present into voting for their campaign.

### **General Election Results**

* **1ST PLACE: Josiah Bartlet and Matt Santos (Democratic Party) - 171 ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTES**
* **2ND PLACE: Hercule Poirot and Arthur Hastings (Baker Street Party) - 111 ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTES**
* **3RD PLACE: Ollie the Polite Cat and Sōseki Natsume (Cat Party) - 96 ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTES**
* **4TH PLACE: Batte S. Casey and Grub (Independent) - 60 ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTES**
* **5TH PLACE [JOINT]: Arnold Vinick and Glen Allen Walken (Republican Party), Ron Swanson and Leslie Knope - 44 ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTES EACH**
* **6TH PLACE [JOINT]: King Julien XIII and Mort (Partying Party), Johnny Appleseed and Al Gore (Green Party) - 30 ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTES EACH**
* **7TH PLACE [JOINT]: Raymond Holt and Kevin Cozner (LGBTQ+ Party), Prince Hans of the Southern Isles and Prince Humperdinck (Communist Party), Arlene Foster and Nigel Dodds (Democratic Unionist Party), Tommy Robinson and Paul Golding (Group Chat First), Donald Trump and Joseph McCarthy (Independent) - 0 ELECTORAL COLLEGE VOTES EACH**

## The Aftermath

After the results of the election were announced, all of the candidates delivered speeches whereby they conceded the election to Josiah Bartlet. They thanked all of those that had voted for their respective campaigns, and congratulated Bartlet on a well-fought campaign. The only two candidates not to directly respond to the results were Casey and Appleseed, who seemed to have gone missing at that moment in time. After those concessions took place, Bartlet, as well as his running mate Matt Santos, delivered speeches in order to thank the voters, as well as the majority of their opponents for running dignified campaigns. Bartlet claimed that the darker days of the group chat were behind them, and the future looked bright. He then went on to say that within his first 100 days he would look into lowering university tuition fees, combatting climate change and introducing free healthcare.

Following this, the results for the Groupy McGroupface Congressional Elections were announced. The Senate remained divided, with both the Democratic Party and the Republican Party holding seven seats each. Meanwhile in the House of Representatives, the Democrats boosted their total number of seats to 35, but this was still 3 seats short of a majority. In second place were the Baker Street Party, who won 15 seats. The Democrats continued their coalition with the Cat Party (who had 10 seats), which gave them a clear majority within the House.

Several days later, new White House Press Secretary C.J. Cregg announced Bartlet's cabinet picks. He appointed Governor and Republican Party Presidential Nominee Arnold Vinick to Secretary of the State; the first Republican to ever hold a cabinet position within the group chat. Other selections included University Professor Tom Kirkman as Secretary of the Treasury, Navy Admiral Percy Fitzwallace as Secretary of Defence and Senator Alex Twickenham as Attorney General. After Twickenham's appointment to this position, he stepped down as host of Alex's Monthly Round-Up.

Shortly after this, Batte S. Casey at last made an appearance. In a public press conference, accompanied by his running mate Grub, he announced that he had taken Johnny Appleseed hostage. Casey threatened not to release Appleseed unless he was made President and the results of the election were reversed. He and Grub then proceeded to board a boat, with Appleseed, and set sail, with the intent of fleeing the group chat. After fooling Casey into freeing him, Appleseed attacked Grub and threw him overboard. After doing so, he grabbed a life-raft and escaped, leaving Casey all alone. In the meantime, hearing of the kidnapping, the Underwood Administration had called for a missile strike against the boat. As Casey's fate became all too clear, he began to reminisce upon past times, and envisioned speaking to the deceased Larack Tobama. The strike ultimately hit the boat, killing Casey instantly.

In one of Underwood's last acts in office, he pardoned Doug Stamper, who had recently been incarcerated after falsely pleading guilty to murdering Zoe Barnes. This move was controversial, and only worsened Underwood's already weak approval ratings.

In the following week, the entirety of the group chat was left stunned after a jaw-dropping press conference delivered by friend of Tom Hammerschmidt and journalist Janine Skorsky. Skorsky came forward with the USB stick which had been left in the collar of Hammerschmidt's dog, and declared that this stick contained the entirety of the latter's investigation into Frank Underwood's ties to the murder of Zoe Barnes. She claimed that this provided concrete evidence against Underwood, and would be passed onto incoming FBI Director Alexander Mahone. Mahone delivered a counter press-conference afterwards, definitively stating that this evidence was certainly plausible and that an investigation into Underwood's misdeeds would be opened.

In response to this, Frank Underwood and Doug Stamper met with Mahone privately to discuss the matter at hand. Underwood made a number of chilling threats against Mahone, but the latter remained unmoved and threatened to destroy any remaining legacy that the disgraced President still had. He claimed that he was in contact with Mycroft Holmes, who would be willing to testify to the government and blow the whistle on their wrongdoings. Tensions became exceedingly heated throughout this meeting, and it eventually culminated with Stamper physically attacking Mahone. Stamper's plan backfired however to Mahone's retaliation, who would go on to break Stamper's arm during this confrontation.

Following this, Frank Underwood was called to testify before the new Senate. Republican Senators Boris Johnson, Dick Cheney and Cornelius Moss all interrogated Underwood for his wrongdoings in an attempt to hold him accountable, as did Baker Street Party Senator Shuichi Saihara. The session became very heated between the two sides, with the previously mentioned Senators declaring that they believed that the President was indeed guilty. In response, Underwood responded by mocking them and cracking jokes throughout. Once Democratic Party Senate Leader Dick Durbin announced an end to the meeting, Frank Underwood delivered the following closing statement before the Groupy McGroupface Senate:

*"I don't think that this administration should be tarnished just because of what the people think is right and wrong. They don't understand what I do. They didn't get to see what I saw. They never will. My decisions were unconventional. By the public's standards, some were wrong. But do you want to know why you don't have Martians ruling this group chat? Do you want to know why Lord Squidy is still cowering away in some palace? Because I didn't care what the court of public opinion thought. And now, I have no reason to. This morning, Senator Durbin, I pardoned myself of any wrongdoing that may have occurred over the course of my presidency or my campaigns. And frankly, I don't care what the public thinks of that. I don't care what Mahone thinks of that. They have no idea what this job entails, and God-willing, they never will."*

After doing so, Underwood turned to the audience watching the RP unfold, to which he delivered the following monologue:

*"I had you there, didn't I? You thought this was it. I can feel your incriminations. Your hatred. Your judgement. And I'm fine with that. Maybe your mind is wandering. How did I manage to do what I did? Maybe you're thinking back to when that bullet was lodged in my body, wondering why a second one couldn't finish the job. Or maybe you're thinking why Ted Tonate couldn't have been just a little quicker in his schemes. My mentality is as follows: the world is as you find it. You have to deal with that reality before you can ever dream of being successful. There are monsters in this world. We saw that in Northlake. Innocent people died from those monsters, and yet you object to my way of solving that problem. You expected me to kiss those monsters on the cheek and say pretty please before I returned the favor and burned their people alive. Never. I would've loved to see that bastard Dampnut's limp corpse crucified more than anything in the world. And that bastard Pink? Same for him. As a matter of fact, I ordered him to be killed by the firing squad this morning, just before my pardon. He should be dead by now, and tonight, I'll be proud to say that I slaughtered that waste of life like the dog that he is, in the final moments of my presidency. I can still feel your judgment. Answer me this: what terrorist attack would you have let go forward to not come off as a "mean and nasty fella?" I will not apologize for keeping you safe. And I will not apologize for doing what needed to be done so you could sleep at night. It was my honor to be your servant. You chose me, and I did what you asked."*

A number of days later, Jed Bartlet and Matt Santos were inaugurated as President and Vice President of Groupy McGroupface respectively. In his inaugural address, Bartlet reaffirmed the promises that he had made during his victory speech. In addition to this, he also heavily praised Santos, and pledged to make Groupy McGroupface the strongest group chat on all of social media.

## Cast

**Buttons99999**

* Josiah Bartlet
* Arnold Vinick
* Peter Russo
* Claire Underwood
* James Comey
* Lord Buckethead
* Thomas Nostradamus
* Sarah Palin
* Vermin Supreme
* Glen Allen Walken
* Matt Santos
* King Julien XIII
* Mort
* Nicola Sturgeon
* Nigel Farage
* Bill Weld
* John H. Watson
* Tim Kaine
* Mark Usher
* LeAnne Harvey
* Jane Davis
* Doug Stamper
* Tom Hammerschmidt
* James Hewett
* Hillary Clinton
* Harley Quinn
* Kelsey Grammer
* Marco Rubio
* Abigail Bartlet
* Jeremy Corbyn
* C.J. Cregg
* Alex Twickenham
* Janine Skorsky
* Alexander Mahone
* Boris Johnson
* Dick Cheney
* Cornelius Moss
* Lord Squidy
* Stephen Bear
* Stohk Ihmage

**Fishmr**

* Prince Hans of the Southern Isles
* Prince Humperdinck

**GrandpaGames**

* Frank Underwood
* Al Gore
* Batte S. Casey
* Johnny Appleseed
* Grub
* Larack Tobama
* Dick Durbin
* Stohk Ihmage

**Red498**

* Hercule Poirot
* Robert Mueller
* Sōseki Natsume
* Ollie the Polite Cat
* Ron Swanson
* Joseph McCarthy
* Jacob Rees-Mogg
* Donald Trump
* Raymond Holt
* Arlene Foster
* Tommy Robinson
* Arthur Hastings
* Leslie Knope
* Kevin Cozner
* Nigel Dodds
* Paul Golding
* Larry the Cat
* Sherlock Holmes
* Barack Obama
* Ariadne Oliver
* Glupi Petkat
* Beppo
* Theresa May
* Judge Gen
* John Bercow
* Shuichi Saihara
* L
* Stohk Ihmage