Eris Malcolm

## Eris "This Bitch" Malcolm

21 (fake ID) [SRTT]

35 (fake ID) [SRIV]

Eris "Middle Name" Malcolm is a Boss.

WEIGHT/BUILD: like a brick shithouse.

HAIR: brown,

EYES: neon green slit-pupil, myopia past ten feet.

TATTOOS: Ultor logo on the back of her neck, covered up to become a black swan in early SR1, Death if Crossed across her shoulders (circa SR2), Saints Ascension on right forearm, Extra Ammo on left calf, Armed and Dangerous on right shin (all circa SR3) Tits-n-Grits tattoo, left shoulder (circa SR4)

### Personality

The B-52's with an AR-15. Call of Cthulhu if it was written by Ke$ha instead of a bean-eating New England Racist. Equal parts murder, party, horrible fashion taste, and eldritch horror into a cocktail shaker, served over ice with half a bottle of tequila.

### Skills

limited night vision in exchange for worsened distance vision, claws, fangs, horns, generation of small localized spatial rifts akin to hammerspace in which she can store weapons, alcohol, etc, limited regeneration, shitty hipster fashion sense, forklift certification (likely forged) also, tentacles! (Post SR4)

## Biography

### History

19xx: the Ultor corporation is forced to shutter their "voidgate" dimensional warp transportation experiments at their Pyramid facility when they fail to realize a door can open both ways. in the split-seconds between generating a stable portal into an unknown void and the machinery disintegrating under the strain of reaching across realities, half the lab is filled with what only can be described by the surviving researchers as "giant fucking tentacles."

not wanting to look a gift cosmic abomination in the mouth, or what counts for one, Ultor pivoted the project to study these otherworldly interlopers and were shocked to find they contained remarkably humanoid DNA. so of course they do science to it and try to make a clone army, because they needed to do a certain amount of Evil Corporationing every quarter and their ledgers were looking a little thin that month.

After multiple attempts, one viable clone is created, rapid-aged, hastily conditioned via VR simulation to basic human interaction and whatever supersoldier combat protocols they had lying around, and informally adopted as a daughter by the English expat former head of the original dimensional warp project, Dr. Franklin Malcolm. Dr. Malcolm gives her the name "Eris" for the amount of strife she causes between the board of directors when they first find out about the project. in the ensuing months, Eris began to show an interest for designer shoes, mischief, and tea.

After Ultor realized that combat robots are easier and cheaper than cloned supersoldiers, they pulled the plug on the whole project, shredded the research, torched the labs, and attempted to assassinate any of the surviving researchers to prevent word of their doings from getting leaked to the press, or worse, their competitors. Dr Malcolm, after reading the purge order email that someone unwittingly hit "reply all" to, planned on packing everything up and skipping town with Eris to start a new life somewhere that didn't know who Dane Vogel was.

### Saints Row

Dr. Malcolm wasn't fast enough.

The details remain hazy due to head trauma, general trauma, and years of alcohol and drug abuse, but somehow the two got separated, leaving the tomboyish-looking and scared-silent Eris to wander the neighborhood on Third street just before her fated meeting with Julius and Troy.

Thanks to her dormant combat conditioning awakening, and a rather disconcerting voice in the back of her mind encouraging her to revel in the violence, her canonization was brief, yet decisive. Dex warned Julius she was too dangerous, as Gat had to step in to all but knock her out to stop her from fighting. Julius responded with the fact that he'd rather have her than another gang pointing her at them. Dex reluctantly agreed.

Within a few days, Dex found her a tiny apartment (apparently shrugging and motioning towards a pew in the church when asked "where are you staying?" was'nt an acceptable answer) and she split her time evenly between reading every book she could get her hands on, chatting with (listening to, mostly) the neighborhood hooker gossip/shoe chat, and crime. she commited her first murder rather quickly when she beat a Los Carnales enforcer to death with a crowbar. she and Gat hi-fived about it afterwards.

Eris developed mild claustrophobia after failing to save Lin, and the Rollers developed severe Erisphobia for the few short days they remained relevant in Stilwater.

the Vice Kings realized very quickly after Tanya's hasty retirement via a thirtieth-story window, that Julius Little's new gang was not to be fucked with. Gat was surprised that not only could this quiet little crime machine talk, but that she was also, apparently, british.

Eris and Luz still chat from time to time, and attend fashion week events if their schedules allow.

### Saints Row 2

Eris developed a very strong dislike of boats.

After waking up from her involuntary nap, she wasted no time in freeing old friends, making new friends, and murdering both old and new enemies. She held an uneasy and begrudging truce with Troy once she learned of his deception, and they came to the agreement that as long as she worked on taking out the other gangs in Stilwater, he would turn a blind eye to her hijinks. and between painting sections of the city brown with sewage, black with ashes or red with blood, she had a lot of work to do.

After losing Carlos, Eris broke both Maero's knees and, in a fit of hysteric strength, used him as a human bludgeon to scrap his own truck., beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker.

after losing Aisha, Eris brought a shotgun and a nailbat to every swordfight.

after almost losing Shaundi, Eris brought a chainsaw and a gasmask to fight mister sunshine, and a tank against the General.

She then developed an extreme dislike of Ultor after throwing Dane out a window and discovering a handful of surviving records about the project that created her. upon watching a video confession from Dr. Malcolm and learning the truth of where she came from, Eris went on a rampage. the resulting external havoc and internal emotional turmoil sparked a chain of physical changes, resulting in the iron-grey horns, slit pupils, claws, and pointy ears we see today. (she basically hit chaos puberty)

### Saints Row: The Third

Eris developed a very strong dislike of airplanes.

ERIS VERSUS THE MORNINGSTAR:

"have you ever heard the term "divine madness?" an ecstatic state one can enter when they reportedly channel the gods, the spirits, the will of the cosmos, whatever higher power you want to refer to. when I saw the security footage afterwards, the blood-soaked naked form of the Boss swinging a chainsaw with wild abandon and turning a house of flesh into a house of slaughter, laughing with a joy bordering on transcendent, was doubtlessly channeling some kind of god I never want to see again, and would only worship to keep her at bay." --Oleg Kirrlov

The Maenads, women who worshipped Dionysus, the Greek God of wine and revels, were said to be like wild beasts in their ecstatic frenzies, able to tear animals and hapless people apart limb from limb. and that night at Safeword, already half-drunk, now drugged, and getting a contact buzz off all the sex and depravity happening around her, caused something to snap. while the hookers had enough sense to run like fuck once they were freed, anyone with a gun and flying a Morningstar flag thought they had a chance against one coked-up naked bitch with horns. and they might have, if she didn't find the chainsaw. and of course, amidst the bloodbath that came to be called the Steelport Chainsaw Massacre by the media, she accidentally bisected Zimos. the Morningstar still lost a lot of money and influence because their main draw had just turned into a house of horrors and would take weeks, if not months, to clean and do PR damage control.

Eris, of course, had NO memory whatsoever of any of this happening. when showed footage of the incident afterwards, she only said she "should have left that autotuned creep in the pony barn."

when Viola joined the Saints, there was a lot of tense moments until someone cracked a "naked chainsaw wednesdays" joke.

ERIS VERSUS THE DECKERS:

As she herself was not-too-long-ago a punkass kid in the Saints, she was a little hesitant to indiscriminately kill the punkass kids in the Deckers. Especially after seeing Matt, stripped of his defenses in the usernet, pissing his pants and begging for his life. Through more subtle means of blackmail, extortion, buying up server farms, bribery, and a few strategically leaked nudes, the Saints took over the Deckers with a lot fewer casualties and left the reactors as they originally were, albeit with more purple neon than blue.

ERIS VERSUS THE LUCHADORES:

Eris held no qualms about murdering a bunch of roided-out meatheads in masks. She enjoyed the over-the-top theatrics of Lucha Libre, and was appalled at Killbane's not-even-worthy-of-being-called-a-Rudo behavior.

ERIS VERSUS S.T.A.G.:

Eris would have gone after Killbane if Cyrus and Kia didn't pull their desperate bid to take control of Steelport. the minute she found out one of her best friends and confidantes, plus the mayor and a competent ally in Viola were vin mortal peril, she cranked up the Bonnie Tyler and cut a bloody swath to the statue of Joe Magarac. She later tracked Killbane down to a small compound in Puerto Vallarta and introduced his face to an airdropped riding mower.

### Saints Row IV

Eris developed an incredibly strong dislike for American politics, but also a love for spaceships and computers and blowing both up.

### Epilogue

After becoming a galactic empress and forging theological alliances with both God and the new queen of Hell Jezebel, the Saints continued causing mayhem and tomfuckery throughout space and time until Eris herself ascended to some form of godhood, assuming the form of G'thraxh Sa'ath, She Who Waits Beyond the Void. occasionally a portal opens and she reaches through across dimensions to once again send the cycle spinning and ensure the ouroboros of her genesis continues eating its cosmic tail.

somewhere between galactic empire fuckery and Madoka Magica timeloop auto-apotheosis, she stumbled into the communal murder-and-mayhem cul-de-sac dimension (like a pocket dimension, but bigger) of Bossville, where she forged friendships with, and/or fucked silly, countless other Saints Bosses from across the multiverse. one of most note being Angelique Capulet, with whom she may have had a daughter. (it's complicated.)

## Relationships

### Shaundi:

Balancing forces to each other. in SR2, Shaundi would remind Eris to chill out every once in a while. drunken skee-ball or midnight showings of crappy movies (no bongrips, Eris had enough smoke inhalation to last her a lifetime after the boat explosion bullshit) were common. after their rise to celebrity status, Eris did the same for Shaundi, although the illicit substance abuse was more often than not replaced with late-night heart-to-heart talks and wordless cuddle sessions on the couch when one or the other missed Johnny too hard.

### Add More...

Description of your character's relationship with this character.

## Alternative Universes

### Eris Discordia/"Edie"

Dr. Malcolm and Eris manage to escape Stilwater unharmed and make it to Steelport. they live a happy uneventful life until Masako forces inevitably find them after the Saints of that universe take over Ultor. bent on tying up the loose ends before the Saints uncover any more scientific indiscretions, they gun down Dr. Malcolm and injure Eris before she managed to get away. lucky for her, she made it to the Deckers' reactor before collapsing. after recovery, she rises through the ranks of the cyberpunk gang at a speed almost as fast as she can skate. thanks to dimensional rift shenanigans, she meets up with Eris Prime somewhere around her Aventures in Bossville.

### Santo Ileso

A completely unremarkable woman named Eris Malcolm runs the Tako Taco truck in Santo Ileso. She doesn't sell drugs out of her food truck, but her latest dish, the Cthulhupa, has been getting strange notoriety for reportedly causing nightmares of different universes.

## Miscellaneous

Eris is Omnisexual and left-handed. these two things are not related.

She once punched out Macklemore for a pair of golf pants at a thrift shop.

Her horns are carved with tally marks of important foes killed on the left, memorials to lost friends on the right. Gat's initials take up the bottom third. explaining the whole thing to Johnny when he's found and rescued leads to them having sex for the first time.

Eris' middle name continually changes. it was originally Lovecraft, but I found out how big of a racist assbag he was and I thought it would be funny to give her a rotating selection of middle names, from "the entire script of the bee movie" to "motherfucking" to "wait for it" etc.

## Gallery

* World burning? DANCE PARTY.
* Eris' usual outfit
* Eris' other usual outfit, if the occasion calls for pants.
* Eris is firmly on the "hating pants" side of the argument.
* RE-ENACTMENT
* "I am too drunk to be here right now."
1/6
## External Links

* Biography
* eriseffingmalcolm.tumblr.com
* etc.