Jokes and Speculation

The following is a combination of jokes, joking speculation, speculation with jokes added as an afterthought, and outright shitposting.

It is up to each individual to decide what statement goes in which category.

Wolfsbane acts as an aphrodisiac to werewolves when burned and has the possibility to cause the affected werewolf to shift into one of their wolf forms, there have been cases where the affected werewolf enters a heat/rut like state without an increase of fertility or virility.

The True weaknesses of a werewolf are headpats, scritches behind the ears, and belly-rubs.

Garlic is poisonous to vampires, but they have trouble resisting the lure of well-made garlic bread.

There are three werewolves in the Rez Pack as far as Jake knows: Hanna, Mila, and their leader who is both male and was called ‘Da-’ by Mila. Obviously, the leader is none other than Mila’s Dad, totally won’t cause Mila and anyone else in earshot to do a spittake.

If the Masquerade gets broken, there is a chance for commercials that ask its viewers to call a toll-free number if they, or one of their loved ones, developed an addiction to headpats later down the line.

The reason chocolate is poisonous to some animals is because their liver isn’t large enough or efficient enough to process it, werewolves, including quadrupedal ones, possess livers efficient enough to eat chocolate. So if your dog can eat chocolate, they may just be a werewolf with amnesia.

John Johnson is undead, has an immunity to cold, or is Russian, how else would he be able to go outside shoveling snow in a blizzard while wearing a suit jacket and shorts?

Vampires’ muscles are prone to tensing up and not releasing without significant effort due to their undead nature and thus they can often be found in hot springs and spas. They would go to massage therapists, but they would get found out due to their unnaturally low body temperature.

Mages have an unfortunate tendency to accidentally open gates to the Abyss or to the Tentacle Planes, the former wants to eat reality and the latter wishes to harvest all of one’s sexual fluids. There are significantly more occurrences of gates to the Tentacle Planes due both to mages ‘accidentally’ opening them and because those who enter the Tentacle Planes usually survive, usually only a quarter die of dehydration or drowning.

Jackalopes are usually considered to be nature’s bards, both due to their musical tendencies and talents and the high libido that is common in both bards and rabbits.

Those who are the enforcers of the Masquerade usually wear ridiculous costumes/clothes in public to draw attention to themselves and openly carry bizarre, but effective weaponry and allow their more stealthy allies to move and work undetected. Eventually, they just wear the costumes just because they’ve become familiar with them and the clothes are comfy.

In order to safeguard the Masquerade against the threat of digital cameras, the Foundation got to work creating prototype programs for what is now known as ‘Photoshop’. Any lycanthropes that claim that its actual purpose is ‘for making their fur look fluffier in post’ instead of ‘allowing the argument that any evidence of supernatural creatures is fake’ is to be ignored.

Contrary to popular belief, most werewolves do not like fetch as they often feel that it’s demeaning, however, they are massive fans of frisbee and catch. To prevent any disappointment, no, they don’t catch it with their mouths, they only do that if they’re in a quadrupedal form or their hands are otherwise occupied.

It has been found that some types of fae like to steal socks, and in some cases underwear, from laundry machines for whatever reason.

There are reports of some types of fae that are obsessed with teeth. Once the Masquerade fell away, they collectively went to study dentistry. While some are unlicensed and will do it cheaply or for free, as the actual cost is in teeth or just badly done dential work.

Werewolves are more prone to developing a severe peanut allergy -- not any other type of nut, just peanuts -- than a regular human. Do not try that ‘peanut butter and dogs’ trick without asking, it may not turn out well.

Werewolves may develop heterochromia in their later years or after an extreme amount of shifting. This condition may resolve itself by turning both of the werewolf’s eyes yellow. Contacts are the main way to hide this condition, however those who wear contacts should remove them before shifting.

There are reports of some werewolves who have developed a kink for being slightly scorched with silver or having a silvered blade held as a mock threat, if you or your partner have developed this potentially lethal kink, please go to naughtywolf.com for blades and rods made of a steel-silver alloy that is technically "safe" for use. The usual warning of not sticking anything silver into wounds or orifices still applies.