Denis - Yosif Affair

## **Quick overview**

The Denis - Yosif Affair (also known as "Denis - Yosif Affairs" and "Denis Penis Sex" is one of the oldest love affairs known to man. Yosif is thought to have been around 163 (one hundred sixty-three) years old while Denis's age is usually considered to have been somewhere around 15 (fifteeen). Most scholars agree that the now-popular phrase "It's not paedophilia, it's ephebophilia " was first coined by Yosif at court sometime around that particular period of ancient history.

## **The epic epic**

### **Beginning**

Denis has always been a hypocritical libtard, i.e a larper. Larping is considered one of the pinnacles of comedy known to the Facebook civilizations way before Azisberlin was founded. Denisian larping is also thought to be the precursor of ancient Hellenic drama. Legend has it that one day, while Yosif was sitting (or squatting, it is still a mystery which way he prefers) on the toilet bowl, he decided to open facebook.com and check as to see what his friends are up to. He witnessed the Denisian larp in action. Upon 3 (three) consecutive Stef posts, Denis had claimed to be a liberal, a communist and a visibly ironical Bulgarian natsoc as to bully Stefan for his cringe political takes. Some of the spicier unproven details about the story hint that Yosif had an errection upon seeing Stef go mad and thus the **First** Denis - Yosif Affair began. This period of Pre-Azisberlinian history is also known as the "based denis epoch " to some more erudite scholars whose knowledge of that era far exceeds what the laowai cronies know.

### **H-hi 😳**

From that point onwards, Yosif started interacting with Denis who was wondering who tf the guy with a funny-looking profile picture and a Japanese name was. "Wtf he speaks Russian now? Is he Russian?"; are thought to be one of his first thoughts on Yosif. The **second** phase in the development of this arc is marked with the beggining of the Bullying Bulgaria Phase which, some historians argue, is still present up to this very day. The nationalistic Bulgarians around them started screeching autistically, while meanwhile the two chads had loud gay s\*x for the first time. Denis is often quoted saying "Who had greater fun back then? The incels who were defending some shithole or me and Yosif who annihilated each others' a\*\*holes?" This is one of the main reasons why some of Denis' followers view him as the reincarnation of "Dyonisus" while the less occultist ones find at least some parallels with Denis and Yosif's relationship to that of Arthur Rimbaud and Paul Verlaine's.

### **Fall of an empire - The Zucc Of Balkansrule**

Balkansrule was Denis' Facebook page which got quite big (6 000 likes) but due to the inadequacy of the masses who didn't have Yosif's high IQ, they were unable to tell that it was all part of a great larp and Denis doesn't hate your sh\*thole of a country "Romaia" or whatever it is called. This marked a period of melancholy and low Facebook activity for Denis - he was simply too intelligent to entertain the masses who severly lacked self-irony. This is the saddest period of Pre-Azisberlinian history to Denis, often depicted in plays such as "Azis - Ledena Kralica", "Azis - Who Cares" and "Sagapo".

### **Yosif comes to the rescue**

> Do you do discord?
>
>

Those were the words Denis had dreamed for without yet knowing. Denis had heard the stories of p\*dos on Discord, but he was already the victim of a predator, so he thought "whatever, it can't be that bad". And it wasn't. This period was marked with increased activity for Denis and he made some great new friends there. He was so invested in the affairs of the server that he added a bunch of his own friends there. Yet, he only loved Yosif. Until.

### **Lord forgive for I have simped**

Denis' affection for Smoll Tiddy Slavic Women is known to all and it is his greatest weakness. Over the months, he's added a bunch of women, yet the one that captured his heart, and according to Denis himself "still holds a special place in [his] heart", is a Polish girl, called Claudia. Claudia is a hot smoll tiddy neon\*zi tradwife gf and the arch-nemesis of Yosif himself. Through stunning cunning and careful planning, Denis managed to acquire the highest position a mortal in Azisberlin could. With power secured, he started patronizing Claudia. He gave her the most honourable titles of "Queen of all Queens" and "Imperial Child-Bearer" to name a few. It was a great love story, they did have loud non-g\*y s\*x but Yosif couldn't bear watching his soulmate succumb to the allurement of that woman and demoted Denis. Then, he kicked out the now vulnerable, patronless Claudia. Thus, the age known to historians as "The Simpage of Denis the Menace" was over.

### **Pacifying a beast - back to g\*y s\*x**

Even beaten to a pulp, Denis' cunning nature allowed him to gain back some of his power by promising to put an end to his simpage (at least in public, dont ask him about Claudia's DMs). Denis was named "Minister of Cringe" by the man who had been promoted from that position - the fellow JUGO activist and a great personal friend of his - Milen "Kukuruza" / "CatCurry". After the end of the simpage, Denis was back to g\*y s\*x with his homies and they all lived happily ever after.