The Cosmic Alliance

The **The Cosmic Alliance**, led by The Blues, were an effort by the galactic community meant to inspire peace and understanding among all species within the galaxy.

Formed sometime in the 5th era Stardate BBY-X, it was initially a galactic empire of sorts created by the tyrannical Dioseneians, before they were overthrown by the peace loving, patient, humble, kind, knowledgeable, intellectual, understanding, thick, strong, admirable, ethical, upstanding, exemplary, principled, high-minded, virtuous Blues. It was then declared an eternal republic, and the Dioseneians were driven to extinction. Its worth noting how contradictory it is for the Blues to found the republic yet be its eternal leaders at the same time.

   What followed was over 9000 years of peace and prosperity, with unprecedented technological and philosophical progress in all corners of the cosmos. Countless numbers of species were discovered and integrated, including Earth sometime after Earth-Year 4890. Earth was brought into their peaceful ways and renounced all weapons of war that were not purely defensive in nature, although this soon proved to be their undoing. The Thaw occurred in Earth-Year 4590, in which Big Jilm was thawed from ancient glacial ices sourced from what was once known as upper Canada. Not knowing the evil within, Big Jilm was thawed and revived.

What occurred after was the greatest war that will ever occur, The Intergalactic Jilm War.

## First Contact

Though the records are faint during this period,due to the wasting by The Jilms, it is known during Earth year 3000 a man known only as The Historian began a quest to find a species untouched by their taint so they may help to restore man.Though he was sucked into a black hole during the attempt it was ultimately what drew the attention of the Blues to Earth at last.These details are revealed to us by the band Rush's invaluable records as given by the historian after he was sucked back in time.

## The War Begins

After The Thaw, Big Jilm began by immediately raping and eating the scientists and Blues that had done the thawing, before somehow commandeering a spacecraft and taking it across the Galaxy to Domus, the heart of the whole federation. Having renounced weapons of war, the planet was defenseless from what came next. Domus ceased to exist within a month of his arrival, the whole planet being seeped with the blood of thousands of species, and the cum of one.

Civil wars erupted soon after the catastrophe, as The Blues ideology of peace was now opposed by dozens of species, including Humans and Doethnici. Mass re-armament began, and the Great Civil war started at the same time as the The Intergalactic Jilm War. Trillions died to conflict, famine, rape, cannibalism, and more as the conflicts grew and tore apart the once great bastion of peace in the Galaxy.

## The Astral Threat

The death of Little Jilm during Earth year 1946 at the hands of The Silent One was the only event in Big Jilms life to affect him emotionally.As he had never experienced such a thing before,it enraged him behind any mortal comprehension.His rage and sadness caused him to somehow transcend reality and turn into what is now known as Astral Big Jilm,also known by many names throughout the galaxy such as The Death God or The Rapist of Time.

Of course,this was all foretold.

## Prophecy

Long ago,before even the Galactic Empire of the Dioseneians,there were the Blues known as The Watchers.These were not any Blues,they were comparable to a human Pope,the spiritual heads of all blue society(note that does not make Christianity wrong,as we have now learned all religions were correct at once and exist simultaneously). These wise beings knew of many things to come,being granted the gift of such knowledge.But what they found was that all possible futures in all possible realities ended with the same Bearded One raping all that is known.Disturbed by this,The Watchers poured all their wisdom into searching for an answer,while also being burdened with the knowledge that they could never tell the rest of the Blues,as it was not within their power to stop.

What they eventually came to realize was that there was one within a single reality that was bred from a portion of the evil ones DNA,one they knew only as The Visored One.He was only one of two though,for a suited one was often seen beside him.Alpha and Omega,Ying and Yang, motifs common in human and blue cultures that was now revealed to be for this higher purpose.The Visored One was also revealed to be a Messiah from the Torah and New Testament, along with the Saoshyant from Zoroastrianism along with many other faiths from across the cosmos.

The chosen ones were to be watched over by The Silent One, The Historian, and Neil Peart of Rush in their astral forms.You can imagine their pain when they were forced to watch the chosen one become Dynamo.

## The Time of Emperors

Seeing the destruction and chaos in their Alliance, the Blues eventually declared the termination of the democratic principles it was founded on and declared that they had crowned an Emperor of the Galactic Imperial Federation, Advena I. This, instead of bringing stability, ripped apart the alliance even further as now planets rallied for the old republic to return. All the while Big Jilm continued to raze entire civilizations and caused several stars to supernova across the new Empire and Republican holdouts.The Veneia of planet Ditjnu become one of the greatest allies of the new emperor, and helped to arm the new empire with the weapons of Badabing Interplanetary,the company having grown much since its founding by the man known as Sufferthorn in Earth year 2021.

Utilizing the weapons and ships of Badabing, the emperors committed vast genocides against the unrepentant republicans,including the Goed frog-people.The battle of planet Evermore resulted in the most brutal siege in known history, with the deaths of over twelve trillion people before Big Jilm raped the souls of both armies.Adam Sandler was among the casualties.