Gretchen Falkenberg

*Gretchen Falkenberg, she's definitely the average zoomer in her own little world. She's always going on rants about her anxiety about the climate with her rants entirely being based upon how she feels, as well as all of the supposed "microaggressions" anyone who doesn't agree with her are full of. Sure, we have a blatant disregard for the environment, but still, we're ALL gonna die someday and there's nothing she can do about it. She and her unorthodox followers have allied with Giles Cromey's lot in an attempt to have MotorStorm banned and have us all put in jail. Not gonna happen, sweet cheeks, cuz we have the whole damn motoring world on our side. Lastly, if she were to see what The Phantromedas and us have done to Pandrosia and Fendrana, she would have both a mental breakdown and a heart attack, too. So to speak! In short, the ultimate freakout to end **ALL** freakouts!*
*"How dare you! You scoundrels have ruined my dreams and my childhood with your relentless path of destruction!" - Gretchen Falkenberg*
**Gretchen Falkenberg** is a non-'Stormer OC created by The Cherrybomber.

Gretchen was born somewhere in Sweden, a country whose citizens are nothing but passive-aggressive social justice warriors, communists and corporate lawyers. Throughout her life, she's been given everything to her by her rich parents on a platinum platter topped with a platinum spoon. In short, she's a spoiled rich brat.

She has Asperger's syndrome/high-functioning autism, though not really the sharpest tool in the shed, in the sense that whenever she tries to shut someone down, she gets emotional and doesn't use any sort of logic or facts like others with said disorders would. This makes her quite popular among quite a few radical leftist movements that are trying to have MotorStorm banned.

She also believes that the Phantromedas should all be put in the electric chair for associating with our favorite off-roading anti-conformist renegades. This is to the point where she has allied with Giles Cromey and his Bible-thumping protest group, even though he considers her to be a *retarded little spoiled brat*, but is too much of a p#$%y to admit it to her face.

The Phantromedas, however, don't take her protests to have them killed very lightly. This is to the point where the leaders of the Pandrosian and Fendranaian chapters are both keen and heavily considering on having their cults reunite to counter-protest against her and her followers with their rainbow hair dye, weird haircuts, weight problems, and bad hygiene.

She, like many other idiots in this generation, are why most people nowadays just consider a car to be *just a car*. But to us, they aren't *just cars*. They are extensions of ourselves and the means of feeling free and, as Cutter had put it in 2011, "screaming to God and the dirt that you're alive." That's what MotorStorm is all about!

Though she may have brainwashed millions of naive young minds with her emotionally-fueled fallacies, it seems the Feds on the French and U.S. mainlands refuse to listen to her about us. Because of this, the three petrolheads from *Final Drive* have openly reached out to us and have been backing us up.

## Quotes

Gretchen and a number of her followers, along with Giles Cromey and his protest group, are usually seen outside the fences of the Festival Site. She can be interacted with while you're in On-Foot Mode.

### Return to the Wild - Pandrosia

* *"The environment is suffering! They must pay for all the damage!"*
* *"You 'Stormers are misogynistic pigs for reading those tuner magazines!"*
* *"I can't believe you chauvinistic morons are having models pose on your worthless cars!"*
* *"Why don't you idiots use electric cars instead!?"*
* *"MotorStorm must be banned! They refuse to preserve the purified environment!"*
* *"People have died here, and some people are suffering because of all that damage!"*
* *"How dare you not listen to me!"*
* *"My generation will decide the future! You'll see!"*
* *"Have you decided to help us save the environment from these crazy bastards? What?! How dare you! I'll have you know that I'll have you cancelled on social media!"*
* *"I may have been born rich and wealthy, but I actually care about the environment! You hear me?!"*
* *"I would very much appreciate it if you take me seriously!"*
* *"You Phantromedas are going to get zapped on the electric chair, I swear it!"*
* *"Don't you know that getting high on those mushrooms is bad for your mental health!?"*
* *"Why oh why won't the Feds listen to me about you despicable 'Stormers ruining the environment here on Pandrosia?"*
* *"You should learn to eat healthy! There's too much junk food in this festival!"*
* *"Too much beer could cost you, and I'm not talking about money or needing to use the restroom!"*

### Return to the Wild - Fendrana

* *"You ruined the environment on Pandrosia! If you do the same to Fendrana, you are all gonna get it!"*
* *"I don't care if those Phantromedas dislike my message! It is a good message to preserve the environment!"*
* *"I can't believe you scoundrels are using diesel tractors now! Think of the ozone layer!!"*
* *"What did you just say to me?! I'll have you jerks know that I'll have my daddy sue you and your boring TV show will be cancelled!"* - Gretchen to Joseph Churchill after being mocked to her face on national television.
* *"The environmental damage you're causing is placing all of humanity at great risk!"*
* *"Ever heard of the term 'get woke or go broke'? I command you fools to wake up!"*
* *"You ignorant bastard! My parents are millionaires! Richer than your disgraced parents! I swear to God, my parents will win this lawsuit, you skitstovel!"* - Gretchen to Barry von Stahl after being insulted by him.
* *"You're such a dirty gypsy! Yes, you with the short black hair! Romania is a disgrace to the European Union!"* - Gretchen to Autumn Zephyra
* *"Shut up, you ignorant communist! How dare you insult my home country! You Russians are oppressive losers!"* - Gretchen to Kramer
* *"Hey Karen! Yeah, you with the black bob cut! The manager wants to talk to you!"* - Gretchen insulting Shuriken
* *"My generation will start a revolution! You'll be sorry!"*
* *"You blue-haired idiot! Albanians are slavic creeps who don't care about the environment! You bring shame to NATO & you don't deserve to join the E.U!"* - Gretchen insulting Vinnie

### North American Dream Pack - Lone Peak

* *"No! Not the National Park!!"*
* *"If you dare go racing on Mount Rushmore, I swear to God...!!!"*

### King of the Hammers

* *"We can't just let these pro-level scoundrels team up with these non-conformist bastards!"*
* *"I swear to God, this is unacceptable!"*
* *"Now the police suddenly takes your side?! What is this madness?!"*
* *"You Kings of the Hammers are more like Kings of Fools!"*
* *"You'll all get yours for ruining the environment with your reckless off-roading!"*

## Trivia

* She is a satire (if not a rather harsh and scathing one) of Swedish eco-activist Greta Thunberg.