The Pale One

***You’ve reached Doctor Hermann Gotlieb. I am currently unavailable, please leave a message after the sound.***

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Hello, Dr. Gotlieb, It’s Bart! I have great news, and I just can’t wait to share them with you. I think I’ve reached another milestone; I genuinely believe I’ve made some stellar progress. Remember how you told me to make that mask, the one that was supposed to look like the creature from my dreams?! Well, I did it! And guess what? I feel fantastic!

I haven’t felt this good in years. I swear I feel like a new person altogether!

Let me tell you something, doc, the moment I laid my eyes on that finished piece of art… Oh… I’ve experienced an epiphany.

When I picked up that piece of latex from my porch after leaving it there to dry; I felt like the pounding in my head had subsided.

That’s right, the moment I looked at its pale coloring, yellowed shark-like ceramic teeth and the pitch-black rings around the eye holes I felt the pounding in my head go away.

Instantly.

It was quiet again, the moment I locked eyes with that latex parody of a visage.

I would like to believe that the pounding in my head was unlike the voices in my mom’s head, but, I’m not a specialist on the matter.

I also know that what she had is hereditary, but, as you’ve told me before, I don’t exhibit signs of that.

Anyway, that mask, it reminded me of a story mom used to tell me. I think I’ve told you this one a while ago, doc. Just in case, I will share it with you again.

Mom told me about the pale man in the mountains near the farm I grew up on. She didn’t just tell me about him; she warned me from him. She said he’s a big bad monster. Said he’s not even human. She claimed, the madwoman, she claimed it was a thing.

My mom told me of how I shouldn’t be afraid of the boogeyman but rather of the pale one. She said this because unlike the boogeyman, at least in her head, the pale one was real.

I say in her head because one time I had asked her how she had known about the creature, to which she responded by slapping me across the face and demanding to know if I was accusing her of lying.

She would constantly remind me of the pale one as if it were a thing we had to venerate and worship.

At one point I asked her to tell me what the pale one looked like. Her face turned pale when she heard me utter those words and collapsed to her knees. Her eyes welled up, and she begged me to tell her I had not ventured into mountains.

I told her I hadn’t; I said I just wanted to know what the creature looked like.

She mumbled something incoherent and when I asked her to repeat what she had said; she flew into a rage and clawed at my face like a crazed mountain lion.

As much as I hated her, I could not bring myself to fight back. I knew I could easily throw her off. I knew I could easily snap her fragile little neck, but I wouldn’t. Years upon years of verbal abuse and domineering behavior had done that to me.

You know Doctor; you know all about how the mere mention of her full name makes me flinch.

Once she stopped clawing at my face; she stood over me. Hovering over my carcass like the same monster she claimed she wished to protect me from. She bent herself over to me and whispered, “Foolish boy, do not go near the mountains around this place. For a pale man is roaming around those mountains. It is a giant with yellow horse-eyes and a permanent toothy grin. Don’t go near the mountains, child, for the pale ones hunger is insatiable. It feasts on bears. It kills them… with its bare hands.

“Do not roam the mountains, stupid child for the pale one has a shark-like jaw, filled from corner to corner with yellow inhuman teeth waiting to sink themselves into your soft flesh.”

She shrieked, “don’t go near the mountains because that thing, that pale thing, it has no soul; I’ve seen it with my own two eyes, the charred rings around its eyes told me that no soul resides in that body.

“Do! Not! Go! There! Son!” She barked at me before storming off.

That day, it was different, however. That is the day I had finally snapped. And for the longest time, I couldn’t even remember that day. Only when I looked at my precious little mask, I’ve remembered it all. After mom left my sight that day, the feeling of hopelessness turned into a feeling of burning anger, unlike anything I’ve felt before.

I was literally fuming. My ears had gotten so hot I’m sure smoke came out of them.

Hah.

I wanted to hurt someone; I wanted to hurt mom, but I couldn’t bring myself to; so, to avoid another argument, I made my way to town. I’ll admit that much; I was looking for a fight. None came, however, I guess my size or perhaps agitated demeanor threw everyone whom I came across off.

I was pissed, and I had no way of letting all of that anger out, until nightfall, that is.

That’s when I found her… a homeless woman. Unfortunately, for her, she also looked like my mother.

My rage boiled over and I bashed her head in.

It felt good.

Too good.

Unbearably good.

I violated the corpse of that woman in a display of what I can sum up as a sadistic dominance over my mother, figuratively.

Then I got rid of the body.

That happened again, and again, and again, and again, eleven times.

Each time I let loose was after my mother had pissed me off.

I’d go off to town, fight a homeless woman, a lone woman, a hitchhiker, something with a vagina that reminded me of my mother. Beat the absolute hell out of them and then engage in vile carnal acts with their remains.

I don’t do that anymore… I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about that.

And so far, no one knows I made these eleven women disappear, let’s keep it like that shall we, doc?

After a terribly rough day with my mother, I had had enough; but this time, my stupid nineteen-year-old self didn’t go to town, no… no… no… no…

You see, Doctor, that day, a socially underdeveloped, uneducated young man in his late teens ran off into the mountains where he shouldn’t have gone. I went to the one place my mother didn’t want me to go. I went out there to find that pale monster she always ranted and raved so religiously about.

I went to the mountains; I’ve searched far and wide. I looked for hours on end.

Nothing.

No Pale One, no monsters, no demons.

Only the rabbits and me.

Three goddamned days I’ve looked around for whatever kind of animal could make her hallucinate a gargantuan humanoid devoid of pigment in its skin.

Nothing.

Only the rabbits and me; I hunted and ate them.

And mother dearest? She didn’t come looking for her precious son.

You know, doctor, what pisses me the most about her right now is how she used to cry and beg for forgiveness every other time after beating the ever-loving snot out of me, right before telling me to go to sleep in my room; in the basement.

In hell…

I thought our basement was hell. It was dark, damp, cold, and there was a lot of unpleasant noise coming from the walls.

Anyhow, after three days of searching and finding nothing, I was about to give up. That’s when I came across a beautiful stream. Its waters so clear they reflected perfectly the features of the sky above me.

I knelt at the edge of that stream, cupped my hands and scooped as much water as I could.

By God, that was the best water I’ve ever tasted.

I was about to scoop some more water, but that’s when I saw my reflection in the water.

It was twitching and twisting.

I found the sight amusing; so, I dropped my hands to my sides and started as my reflection further twisted and contorted.

Before long, all the pigment had fled my reflection and my mouth became that of a shark, with sharp yellow fangs decorating my reflections mouth. Its eyes turned into those resembling the eyes of a horse, with urine colored irises while massive marks burned themselves into the skin around the eyes of my monstrous reflection.

As I stared, mesmerized by what had become of my reflection, a voice; deep, hoarse yet soothing came from within my head; *“Let me out, let me help.“*

*“Let me out…”*

*“I can help…”*

*“Let me out…”*

*“I will help…”*

It kept on repeating over and over in my head until I relented.

I let him out.

*I helped.*

*I had collected a bag full of those furry little devils, the rabbits, and made my way back home. At nightfall, I arrived. She was asleep. Perfectly still. I set the furballs on fire and let them loose inside the house.*

*Locked the door and the windows behind me and sat in her reclining chair.*

*Watching as her kingdom burned to the ground.*

*Funny.*

*It was so funny.*

*Never laughed so hard as I did when I heard her screaming in agony and banging on the front door for help, between sweet tormented moans of agony she cried for somebody to let her out and put her out of her misery.*

The smell of burning flesh honestly felt good; a little too good. I guess I got lost in the moment, in the magic of it all… I guess you could say I got lost in the magic created by my hands I didn’t notice how a piece of the roof came down collapsing from the heat.

I had forgotten who I was, what I was.

*Now… Now he let me out again.*

*He will never forget…*

Now I remember, I remember it all, doctor, the pounding in my head… it was just him trying to remind me who I am, who we are, but now… I remember… So, thank you, doctor, your services are no longer required.

The pale one will provide me with all future help I’ll ever need.

*I just hope we can keep this between us, doctor, or I’ll be forced to help, just like I did with that terrible woman. You wouldn’t want that, would you?*