Did we platonically make out or are we dating now?

May 7, 2021 - The Spring Dance

Bea pushed out the side door and took a long gasp of fresh air. It was claustrophobic in there as dances always felt but the open sky felt better. It was an easy escape. She leaned back against a metal railing a small distance away from the door. She smelt rain on the air and one of the final cool spring breeze sent a shiver down her spine. She reached into her inner pocket of her floral suit jacket where she would have kept her cigarettes instead she pulled out a piece of nicotine gum and chewed on it quietly. She didn’t like doing this while around Brenna or other Big Team members. Some other people had had similar ideas to her and had set themselves up in a quiet corner away from the door. If she didn’t have enhanced senses it would have been more than enough a respectable distance from the door for them to smoke.

She closed her eyes drifting away listening to music inside thrumming through the door, hearing choruses of voices, footsteps, and a hundred other sounds. She listened closely wondering if Brenna could be picked out, if she’d hear her push the door, and come out with their drinks. She let out a long sigh and opened her eyes. It shouldn’t be too much longer. Her chewing slowed as her thoughts drifted away from the dance and her eyes grew distant concentrating on some absent point

It wasn’t long before the door opened. Brenna backed out, carefully holding two cups of punch so she didn’t spill on the long white gloves that Calder had procured for her. She was pretty sure that they got them from Gala, which meant she’d have to explain what they were for to her sometime. But she was very proud of the dress she’d picked out: a blue off the shoulder dress with buttons down the front. It was the first piece of Midgardian clothing she’d picked out for herself.

Safely out the door, she spotted Bea and walked over to lean against the railing next to them. “I got us both punch. I’m not entirely certain what that means other than Paige assuring me it wasn’t going to attack.”

Bea took the punch from Brenna’s hand. The colours of all the flowers on her suit jacket and pants seemed oddly dull out here. The colour of her blue collared shirt she had popped through a little brighter in the dark and her ribbon tie was still there despite all her thoughts of taking it off. She never knew what do with her gum in these situations so she kept chewing.

“Thank you.” They gave a soft smile to the other girl. Bea’s voice sounded more tired than he had expected. *Wait, I know something about this. That one ancient lady who brought punch always talked about it at the bonspiel. Brenna would want to know so tell her even though it’s super dorky.* “Punch is a loan word from Hindi, I think. Something about English sailors trying a fruit drink in India and bringing the word and the drink home. So it’s probably not related to socking someone.”

Brenna nodded, always interested in how Midgardian languages interacted with each other and the translation magic she used, and took a cautious sip of her punch. She smiled, pleasantly surprised by it. “Oh! That’s good. Very sweet. A lot like the icees. Though less cold.” Brenna took a few more sips and sighed in relief. “I didn’t really realize it while we were inside, but it really did get hot in there. This is all very different from Asgardian parties, or the Midgardian high school dances I’ve seen in movies.”

”Yeah, the movies like to glorify things and give unrealistic expectations for teens. I like the real thing better.” Beatrice looked up to Brenna’s face noticing her smile made Bea grin a little wider. Those things are kind of infectious. Discreetly, she discards her gum into a wrapper and sets it in a pocket with her wallet. Bea wraps her free arm around Brenna’s waist slowly. “Punch is a lot like icees neither really have any fruit or non-artificial flavourings in them, at least in the US.”

Brenna hoped her face was still red from being inside, because Beatrice putting an arm around her made her face feel warm again. Was she supposed to do it back? Is that how this worked? She’d have to put an arm around Beatrice’s shoulders because she was taller, and that didn’t quite feel like it would be the same. And the hand next to Bea was the one holding the punch. Spilling her punch definitely wasn't romantic. This was romantic, right? Brenna wasn't sure. She and Bea had kissed on Asgard, and Bea had asked her to the dance, but she wasn't sure what it meant.

"So you're having a good time?"

“I am.” His voice was still tired but soft as well like she wanted to say more. Brenna was blushing and that made Beatrice blush. Had she maybe crossed a boundary or said something embarrassing? Brenna hadn’t pulled away that was definitely a good sign. She thought about when they had kissed and that just got her freezing up but she pushed through. However, Bea’s voice was definitely cracking slightly as she spoke again. “Are, um, you? I know dances can be kind of overwhelming.”

"It is a lot," Brenna admitted. "But still much better than Asgardian parties. And I am. Having a nice time I mean. I've enjoyed being here, and seeing friends, and getting to dance with you." Brenna smiled down at Bea a little shyly. It was true, but she understood a little better now what Beatrice had meant before about honesty feeling vulnerable.

“I liked dancing with you too. Seeing people was definitely nice!” Bea didn’t like dancing. It put knots in her stomach but when it was with someone she cared about that faded to the back of her head and she just went along with it. She definitely liked Brenna that much was clear to her. Bea bit his lip. “I-” What did she want to say? That she liked her? Brenna knows that right? It’d be silly to say. So instead, she leaned her head against Brenna’s shoulder. “I really like that we did this.”

Brenna's breath caught for just a moment as Beatrice leaned against her. She definitely should have put her arm around them, but it was too late now. "I am, too. Thank you for asking me."

This was really nice. Noise from the dance filtered through the door, and she was aware of the others out getting fresh air nearby, but it was a kind of peaceful. Her gloves were uncomfortably warm, and she couldn’t drink any more of her punch with Bea’s head against her shoulder, but she was really happy. But there was a question nagging at the back of her mind, though, and she knew she wouldn't be able to fully enjoy the moment until she knew the answer. "Um, can I ask you something?"

“Hm, yeah?” Bea stood up a little so she could meet Brenna’s eyes noticing the change in tone. She tensed. *Brenna saw through me. Didn’t she? She saw that being a werewolf wasn’t what made me a monster. That it is just Bea*. She couldn’t lie to Brenna if she asked about who she was. *Don’t cry, Bea. She hasn’t even asked yet. Monsters don’t cry right?* She held the tears back barely. If the lighting had been better Brenna definitely would have seen.

Was there a worried undertone to Bea's voice? Brenna wasn't quite sure, and the lone light next to the doorway didn't really provide enough light for her to read his face properly. Still, she sputtered for a moment before she was able to make proper words. "Um, well, I guess, I was wondering, because I don't exactly know how it's determined on Midgard, and I don't think my sisters are exactly the best example to base this kind of thing on, and I know we kissed but I've never..." Brenna couldn't remember if that was anything resembling a sentence, so she stopped for a moment to figure out the short version of what she was trying to say. Finally, she blurted out, "Is this a date? Are we dating?"

“Oh.” Bea paused and bit her lip. Furrowed her eyebrows trying to think if it was or not. She came to the conclusion that they were by her standards but wasn’t sure if that was the correct answer. Her concentration came back to her and she realized there had been a few moments of awkward silence after her ‘oh.' She was a little more at ease and the word shook a little less than before. “I, uh, it feels like we are dating and that’s nice to me. I like that. However, if that isn’t what this is to you? That’s chill and everything.”

The pause terrified Brenna. A multitude of feelings, even more intrusive than all the Thors in hammer yelling at her, welled up in the silence. It took her a moment even after Beatrice answered to process that they’d said yes. “No! Um, I mean, yes? I mean, I’d like this to be a date. And to be dating you. I just, didn’t know if it was.” Brenna’s brain caught up a bit with what had just happened, and she couldn’t stop a huge goofy smile. She had a girlfriend, and it was Bea. Bea was her girlfriend. Midgard really was a remarkable place.

Beatrice’s body language was a little stiff still and she took a small step away. She looked over at Brenna with a serious expression but a worried one not one of her usually melancholic scowls. “You’re sure? Like you know that I’ve hurt people real bad, right?” She rubbed her arm trying to close herself off from the world around her. *Freak, monster, murderer.* The tears were back and she couldn’t hold them in this time. She knew Brenna might not be thinking about her that way but she needed to make sure. “I am trying to do better but it could still happen and I still did those things. I can’t take them back. Even with all that you’re sure you want to date me?”

When she saw the tears, Brenna immediately wanted to hug Beatrice. But since she wasn't sure that would be welcome right away, instead she set her punch on the railing and gently took one of Bea's hands, again wishing she wasn't wearing gloves. "I know there's a lot in your past, and that I don't know nearly all of it. But I've seen how hard you're trying. How important it is to you not only to make amends, but to try and get your old team to be better. To support them even though by a lot of standards they don't deserve it. Bad people don't do what you're doing, Bea. I know your powers are scary, and that you're scared you'll hurt someone. Bad people don't worry about that, either. So yes: I want to date the you that you are now, and the you that you're trying to be, even if something bad happens. Because I like you, and you’re my friend."

That made Bea sob harder. It was a strangely quiet way to cry. Beatrice seemed practiced at keeping it fairly silent. She squeezed Brenna’s hand tight. She dropped her punch, some of it spilling onto her shoe, but he pressed his head forward and let it rest on Brenna’s shoulder. “Thank you,” They whispered quietly. “It feels safer with you to just be me. I want you to feel the same way.”

Brenna wrapped her arms around Beatrice and rested her cheek on top of their head. "I do feel safe around you. Sometimes I'm just not sure what's myself and what's Thor, or what I want versus what others want for me. You ask a lot of hard questions, and I know I don't usually have an answer, but I do think about them. I'm trying to figure it out." Brenna hesitated. “Um, that is, if you were referring to the times you’ve asked what I want or if I’m making my own decisions and I haven’t answered properly. If not um, you can just ignore that.”

Bea giggled softly against the other girl. “I guess, I do that yeah. You’d find the questions eventually but it’s easier to have someone else ask them.” She returned Brenna’s hug. Tears still streaming down his face. “Take your time figuring it out. No one gets it right on the first try so there’s no point in rushing into bad decisions.” She drew in a long breath. “So girlfriends then? Because if so my aunts are gonna kill me for not doing pictures with them.”

“Yeah. Girlfriends. We’ll have to fake pictures for your aunts or something. Dress up tomorrow again.” Brenna giggled. “*Gods* Calder is going to be so smug. And my sisters will be insufferable. Especially Gala. And Hildr and Father…” Brenna trailed off. “I’d say we should avoid telling them but as soon as the cat’s out of the bag, I’d be surprised if all of Asgard doesn’t know by the next dawn.” She shook her head, trying to stop the mental stream of potential embarrassment or protectiveness her family might unleash. “Sorry. Sometimes I focus on the bad parts of things even when things are really good. I’m trying to stop that. Especially for really good things.”

"If things get overwhelming, we can go out to the countryside for a bit and camp out in the back of the truck or in a tent if we find a used one." Bea was excited by the idea of taking Brenna camping. Enough that only reminder of her sobbing was the wet streaks on her face. Brenna would loves s'mores and maybe like roasted hot dogs. However, she wanted to make sure Brenna was fine first. "It's hard to focus on the positives all the time. Maybe start with saying one particular thing you are excited about having a girlfriend for? Like a type of date? Or just a general experience? For me, I am excited to cuddle with you and watch a movie under the same blanket."

Everything Bea said was perfect. Brenna loved going camping on Vanaheim with her family or friends. She imagined that it would be even better going with a girlfriend. And watching a movie while cuddling with Beatrice sounded amazing. “I don’t know about any specific kinds of dates. I’d love to do all of the typical Midgardian dates with you. But in particular...I'm looking forward to just being close to you. Like, getting to hold your hand. Um, stuff like that. Hold on."

Contrary to what she just said, Brenna stepped back a bit and finally tugged off her right glove. After a moment of hesitation, she pulled off the left one as well. The blue light from the jagged scar on her arm lit up both of their faces. Several of the others outside glanced over, and Brenna tamped down the insecurity that had led her to keeping it covered the last few weeks. She tucked the gloves into a pocket and shyly took Bea's hand. That felt much better.

Bea held Brenna’s hand eagerly. She looked at the glowing scar. Her eye’s lingered on it. Magical wounds were tough. They never had easy solutions like medical ones. Bea was planning on putting feelers out with her old contacts in the morning though if Brenna was okay with that. Probably, a discussion for later. She shyly raised her eyes to Brenna accidentally giving puppy dog eyes. “I’ll take you on as many Midgardian dates as you’d like. Also hand-holding on demand. Can sweatshirt stealing occur?”

"Of course," Brenna answered, before she even really understood the question. There was no other answer while Bea had that expression on her face. Then she processed the question and remembered the current state of her wardrobe. "Um, I've only got the one hoodie and one sweater. I'll have to find more if you want to steal them."

“We can definitely get you some.” Bea leaned her chin on Brenna’s shoulder. Bea’s accidental appeal to adorableness intensified with a small grin. “We could probably use the fabricator at the base for some basic stuff. I also have blood money from a duel that I had to fight in Tír na nÓg from a while ago that I don’t really know how to spend and I think this would be a good cause. Oh I didn’t kill them in the duel that’s why I was paid out just F.Y.I.”

“Tír na nÓg sounds like quite the place,” Brenna mused. “But I don’t need money. Um, see, my father was a god, and so was my grandma, and my dad is a very successful magical blacksmith, and my dads have actually been sending Calder money this whole time so um, you can use the money on something you want.”

“It’s certainly a place that I’d like to take you to one day. Also what god was your dad again?” Beatrice winked her spirits much brightened. Her arms tightened around Brenna’s. “I will figure out something to spend it on. Probably a tattoo or some clothes. Oh, that does remind me my family situation is a little rough but, uh, could we maybe talk about other stuff tonight?”

“Of course. We can talk about the tough stuff another day. Tonight we can just be girlfriends at a Midgardian dance,” Brenna couldn’t help but grin again at the little thrill she got from getting to say girlfriend. “And I’d like to dance more, when you’re ready to go back in. If you want to.”

Bea noticed the satisfaction on Brenna’s face. She wanted to do some more gentle teasing before heading in. It was only fair after all if she had to dance and anyways she was often more tense than this around people it would be nice to relax a bit. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe if my girlfriend were to give me another kiss? Then maybe I could be tempted to go dance some more.”

Brenna flushed again, and it took her a moment to be able to respond. Then she put on her bed approximation of a flirty smirk, which only sort of worked, even in the dim lighting. "Hmm I think something like that could be arranged."

Brenna gently put a hand on Bea's cheek and bent down to kiss her. Beatrice stood on the tips of her toes returning the kiss as early as she could.

After a moment of very flushed cheeks, Bea fell back onto her heels and spun toward the door. “Thanks.” Was all she could manage before starting to lead herself and Brenna back towards the door. She bit her lip and muttered to Brenna barely audible to anyone but the other girl. “You’re pretty good at that by the way.”

Brenna’s thin veneer of bravado fell away at those words, and her face flushed bright red, just in time to get illuminated by the lights of the dance as Bea opened the door. If any actual words came out of her mouth in the next few moments of gay sputtering, they were overtaken by the cheerful din of the dance.