TRP: Goro, Hansel, Morgan, and Sam (Blue Moon)

IZZY

[SETTING: The Underdark, Day 426, the evening after A Stab in the Dark.]

Morgan had pretty much kept hanging out with Sam, even once the Runners got back. She kept an eye on Goro, but didn't approach him. He looked ... kind of normal. Worked up. Kind of how she'd expect. She didn't want to overload him. It seemed easier to go in knowing that he didn't remember anything than to go in not knowing what he remembered.

She sat on a stony ledge about four feet up, swinging her boots to tap the heels against the cave wall quietly. Sam sat below her, plucking at his lyre, just as watchful.

LINA

Goro was feeling more weird and jumpy the longer the day went on. Every new memory that hit him was like an electric shock in his brain. They didn't even come at a nice predictable rate, or anything. Like, if it were once a minute or whatever, sure. He could deal with that. Instead it'd be nothing for half an hour, then a barrage of them. Then a few minutes of peace, and another stray one. Then a couple more a little bit later. Was driving him fucking bonkers.

And so much of it was just... weird. Jigsaw puzzle pieces being chucked at him with no rhyme or reason. They ranged from neutral (picking out fruits to buy in a marketplace) to pleasant (hanging out on a ship deck with Larkin, smoking and telling dumb jokes), to fucking scary (hiding in an alleyway, heart racing, hoping someone -- who? -- didn't find him).

Sometimes he'd get one so weird, he felt compelled to ask someone if they were real. Mishka was usually a safe choice. He talked a lot of crap, but he answered honestly when Goro asked him yes or no questions.

This latest picture in his head, though. He felt okay asking Morgan about it.

He approached her, looking up where she sat on the ledge. He didn't pay any mind to Sam. Too distracted. He squinted, scrunching his nose up.

"Do you have... a fucking dragon? Like, a little pet dragon?"

IZZY

She kept swinging her feet. "Uh ... I used to. You remember that, huh?"

LINA

"Maybe." He gestured around his shoulders, like he was miming wearing a scarf. "It was -- nah, wait. Did it change colors?"

IZZY

"Uhh." She stopped kicking. "Hey, you wanna come up here?"

LINA

He nodded. He looked at Sam for the first time and gave him a little wave. Then he stepped to the side and dragged himself up on the ledge next to Morgan.

IZZY

Sam glanced up and waved a little before going back to his lyre.

Morgan offered a hand to help pull him up, then settled back against the wall of the ledge. "So, the thing is, I used to have this pseudodragon, yeah. Like that little bitchy one that follows Mishka around. It wasn't ... mine, though. It was spying on me. And ... uh, do you remember how there used to be more than one of me?"

LINA

"Uh, what?"

IZZY

"So, nah," she said helpfully. "Well ... anyway, my dragon was red. You're remembering other colors 'cause you remember the other Morgans. You met, uh. Blue. Just her. Wait, no, Goldie too. And there was Greenie, but you didn't meet her. She was a dick. No loss."

LINA

Suddenly, Goro went from half-slouching to sitting razor straight. "Oh. Oh. Yeah! Nah, nah, that fuckin' -- Blue. She was a bitch. Oh, she fuckin' betrayed you, didn't she?"

He wasn't remembering any images or events related to it. He just knew.

IZZY

"Yeah, y'know, that's how the cookie crumbles when you're workin' with yourself," she said, nodding.

LINA

"How the fuck -- oh. The hydra. Someone stabbed you in the back. Literally. Then you -- holy shit." Goro grabbed the hair on both sides of his head and yanked it. "Ah. Ah. Too much."

IZZY

"Aw, hey." She scooted over next to him to put a hand on his back, rubbing uncertainly, not sure if it would actually help.

LINA

It was different, remembering Morgan. He was getting a whole bunch at once. And it fit together, mostly. A fucking wave of thoughts and feelings, enough to be almost coherent.

She was evil. She was trying to take over his fucking city. But she was trapped. He had to get her out. He saw a little of himself in her. And... he just liked her. He opened himself up to her when he was sad and miserable and she'd just kept him company. Larkin wanted to kill her. He had to try and hold Larkin off but didn't wanna tell her why. Didn't want to admit he cared about Morgan. Their fuckin' enemy.

But... not anymore. There was still big chunks missing since then, but Morgan was their friend now. Holy shit. He'd done it, he guessed.

He threw his arms around her and shoved his face against her neck.

IZZY

"Oh, oof." She was startled, but she hugged him back. After a moment, she weakly joked, "Hey, there's those cuddles I was missing."

LINA

"We're friends?" he said, checking to make sure. "You're not planning to betray me or nothing?"

IZZY

"Aw, yeah, definitely friends." She thought about pointing out she'd probably say that if she was planning to betray him, too, but maybe now wasn't the time. She'd give it a few minutes. "I love you, you big nerd."

LINA

"I love you too," he said, almost reflexively, not sure if he was really remembering it or just realizing it. "Ah. I wanted this so bad. I just wanted to be friends with you. I did it."

IZZY

"You sure fuckin' did," she agreed. "I told you. You're a hero and shit. Saving damsels."

LINA

"You're not a damsel. You're a fuckin' terror. God."

IZZY

"Oh, yeah, absolutely I am," she said.

LINA

"But you're gonna become a vampire," he said, heart sinking.

IZZY

"That's the plan." She winced a little.

LINA

He remembered her telling him she was scared of dying, or something like that, and him promising he'd just bring her back if she died. Ah, that's why she'd mentioned that a few weeks ago, when they talked at the castle. Hadn't changed her mind, though.

"Well," he said quietly, "'m glad I remembered you first."

IZZY

"Pffft, I wasn't gonna do shit until you did," she promised. "Maybe you should've lied to me. Ah, shit, Morgan I never did remember you. Everything else, though. Weird, huh."

LINA

He scoffed weakly. "Damn. Too late."

IZZY

"Hey, you could also do some magic shit and make me forget. You'd probably have to kill Sam, though." She gave him another squeeze and let go. "Witnesses, you know?"

LINA

Goro leaned over the ledge, peering down at Sam.

IZZY

He was still intently playing his lyre.

LINA

"I ain't got any memories of you yet but I still like you," Goro assured him.

IZZY

"Um. Cool," he said, looking embarrassed, as he often did.

LINA

Goro leaned back, arms still around Morgan. "Shit. Goddamn." Remembering so much shit all at once had been like setting a bone: fucking excruciating for a minute, but he felt better, more whole, now that it was done. "Dunno why I remember you so good, all the sudden. I don't even remember my own husband, still."

IZZY

She wrinkled her nose. "Oh, that's a fucking bummer." Remembering Morgan, but not his husband. Jeez. "Man, who knows how this shit works. It's not like those memory spells, I guess."

LINA

"Yeah," Goro said. "Seems like it's happening pretty quick, at least. I dunno. I dunno how many memories I got in there, but I've already remembered a lot in a few hours."

IZZY

"Uh, fuck, I don't know. What are you, like thirty-five? You got a lotta memories in there, doll." She twirled a finger in his hair. "It might take a while."

LINA

"Thirty-three," he said lamely, like it was an argument.

IZZY

"Still a lot."

LINA

"Yeah." He slumped against her. "Maybe I'll go to sleep, and when I wake up, poof. All back."

IZZY

"Or your brain has to be, like, awake for them to come back," she pointed out, snuggling against him. "I mean, not to be a downer. God knows I wish naps fixed everything, but the big secret is, they usually don't fix shit. Maybe if I tell you stuff, it'll spark more memories? Make it go faster."

She'd hoped it would work like that before, and it hadn't. But he was remembering things on his own, now. She could at least help.

LINA

"You are a downer." He stuck his tongue out at her. "But sure. Try me."

IZZY

She blew a raspberry at him.

- - -

Hansel had been busying himself around the camp, checking in on everyone. Larkin was alive. Not hosted. If any of the rest of them had been, they were okay now. Wasn't gonna get worse. And Goro was getting better.

He was fuckin' nervous, though. 'Cause it wasn't working all at once, like when his memory of Aleksei had been fixed. Was coming through in drips and drops like a leaky dam, and maybe that was better than a flood, but it was making Hansel worry. What if it didn't all come back, say. Goro seemed upset, which was probably fuckin' reasonable, but what if he only remembered the bad shit? Or it just took a lot longer for the good shit to come in, 'cause most of the good shit was newer?

Hansel just wanted Goro to be happy. Feel safe. And Goro hadn't felt that way for most of his life. It was just fucking nerve-wracking, waiting for ... for the safety to come back. It wasn't even there all the time, anyway. And Hansel didn't know what he could fucking do about it, so he didn't do shit, just roved around their little dark fucking camp, looking for shit to do, adjusting things, missing the sun.

LINA

When Goro'd damn well had enough of the shit his brain kept throwing at him, he decided he needed one of Hansel's hugs.

He was having a hard time looking directly at people and things. Was too much going on in his mind already. He wandered around the outskirts of camp, shielding his eyes, just watching where he put his feet.

"Hansel?" he called, not wanting to walk straight back into the midst of things.

IZZY

Hansel's head popped up. He zeroed in on Goro, who was covering his eyes for ... some fuckin' reason. He started over, calling back a, "Hey," before he got there, so Goro'd know he was coming, and from what direction.

LINA

Goro held out the arm he wasn't using to shield his eyes.

IZZY

Hansel wrapped around him, giving him a solid squeeze and lifting him off his feet a little. Maybe Goro remembered. Maybe everything was just okay.

LINA

Goro whimpered a little, enjoying the squeeze but still hating what was going on in his head. "I got -- I got something bad. In my memory." Weird way to put it, but that was how it came out.

IZZY

"Aye," Hansel said, hesitantly, trying for gentleness. "There's a lotta bad shit. I know. Things're better, now, though. Promise."

LINA

"It's still scaring me," Goro said, feeling pathetic. "Um, ah, I think it's -- the thing that had Larkin. Diva."

IZZY

Hansel squeezed him again, hard. "Yeah. That bitch fucked you up," he said softly. "We're gonna kill her. Gonna make sure this time."

LINA

Hansel had been around when it all happened, so Goro figured it wouldn't be news to him. But he said what he was remembering anyway, to make sure it was real. "I was... chained up for days, and she wouldn't let me move. I had this fuckin'... cramp in my neck, and I couldn't fuckin' move. And there was--" He smacked his mouth, grimacing, swearing he could still feel the chafing at the edges of his lips. Raw and stinging. "A gag in my mouth. It hurt."

IZZY

He grimaced a little. "Aye. We, uh. Had to tie you up, an' gag you, so she couldn't use you t'do any magic. You remember we all kept you company?" He kissed Goro's head. "Me an' Mishka played cards. Gave you some water. Was only a day that she had you, but she made it seem like longer. We got you back, soon as we could. Same as this time, yeah?" He swayed them back and forth a little. "I got you. I got you, love."

LINA

Goro shook his head. He didn't remember any company. He still didn't remember Hansel. That drove him nuts. He fucking wanted to.

"She got in me 'cause I made that deal with her," he said miserably. "I think she can do whatever she wants to me."

IZZY

"Well, I fuckin' disagree," Hansel said. "You're mine now, aye? An' I say fuck her."

LINA

His mind started to fall backwards from the part where he was chained up. Wasn't the deal that got her inside him, that time. It was...

A seed.

Wriggling black larva, being shoved down his throat. Goro cringed, writhing, feeling it all over again. His friends had tried to stop it. They were in a fight. A big one. Against...

"Joan," he said suddenly. "Joan. My boss. My... step... mom?" She was in love with someone whose face was still a blur in Goro's memories, though logically he knew it must be Amari. "Is she okay? She's okay. Fuck. Is she? Does she need to get in the water?"

IZZY

Hansel frowned. Shit, they should ... probably make sure. "Aye," he said slowly. "Oughta be. Diva, y'know, I made this deal with her, too." So had Jonn. Had to check him. Had to make sure. "And she ain't got hold of me the way she did you. Think it was just 'cause you were a warlock. More of a deal, y'know? An' then -- she got you the other way, too. Hosted. Joan and Mishka she just hosted. We'll make sure, though. We'll check on her. If we gotta, we'll bring her down here, too."

LINA

Goro was barely listening to what Hansel said. He knew the words and all, but they just washed over him.

He was busy thinking about Joan. Remembering things about her.

How he'd killed her, infuriated. Somehow she'd come back to life. He didn't remember how. Maybe he'd done it.

How she'd punched him in the face, breaking his fucking nose, then hugged him and told him they'd get through this bullshit with Diva together, because she loved him.

Yeah. He loved her, too. Ah. Ah, he hoped she was okay.

She'd sent him on a job with these new recruits. She filled him in on all of them ahead of time, and told him to make nice. A bard she'd sprung from jail, named Roddy. Goro remembered meeting him and being fucking gobsmacked 'cause he was a giant tortle.

An assassin named Raef. A thief named Larkin. (And another out of place memory dropped in, in the midst of it: Goro and Larkin crying, sobbing against each other, 'cause they'd just found out they were cousins.)

And... an ex-pirate turned bouncer. Hansel Granger. Big, mean-looking motherfucker.

Hah, Goro remembered thinking, the first moment he laid eyes on him. Better not look at that guy crosseyed or he might liberate me from a few of my teeth.

Goro jerked back, blinking up at Hansel.

IZZY

Hansel made an startled nn sound and let him go to blink back at him. He caught Goro's hand, though, reflexively. "What?"

LINA

Goro yanked his hand free and opened his mouth, almost saying, Get your fucking hands off me. The hell are you doing?

But... fuck. What? How was this the same guy? Maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was some weird coincidence, a half-orc named Hansel.

IZZY

Hansel blinked at him some more. "Uh. Uh."

He didn't know what to do about that.

"Sorry," he blurted.

LINA

"Are you Hansel Bell, or Hansel Granger?"

IZZY

"I'm ... both?" He didn't get it. "Went by Granger most of my life. Did when we met." Maybe Goro was just confused 'cause he remembered meeting Hansel Granger, not Hansel Bell. Yeah, that seemed ... normal, maybe? "Changed it. Bit back."

LINA

Motherfucker. It was the same guy. The same person who'd been all sweet to Goro for the past few weeks -- cuddling him, kissing him like he couldn't help himself, saying he loved him.

It was the fuckin' bouncer Joan had hired. The guy who was always half-drunk off his ass at best, glaring all mean at anyone who looked his way. The fuck? The fuck?

Goro took a few steps back, his face screwing up in confusion.

IZZY

"Hey," Hansel said, frowning in concern. "Hey. What's wrong? What's goin' on? Talk t'me, okay?"

LINA

"No," Goro said, without really thinking about it. Then he felt like a royal fucking dick. "I mean, sorry, just..."

IZZY

Hansel recoiled a little and blinked. Goro didn't ... talk to him like that. He didn't anymore, anyway. Right. Right. Remembering. "Nah, uh. S'okay," he said slowly. "I know you're freaked out. It's a lot, aye?"

LINA

"You're different," Goro said. "I mean, you've changed a lot. Since I first met you."

IZZY

"S'pose." He was happier. You look more like yourself, Jonn had said. Goro hadn't met him when he was ... himself.

LINA

Goro cleared his throat. He took another step back but tried to make it look like he was just shuffling his feet. Ah, this was fuckin' weird. His brain was just refusing to accept that this guy and the guy in his memories were the same. He kept warring with himself over which one was real.

There was some other stuff coming to him, though. He'd... been real unsure about Hansel back then, but the guy was a heck of a fighter, and like it or not, he was part of Goro's gang. So when Joan had made about the biggest social fumble Goro'd ever seen her make -- telling Hansel he had to let his kid die -- Goro had stepped in. 'Cause that was ridiculous.

Hansel had told Goro a couple weeks back that Goro had helped him with something when they first met, and it had meant a lot to him. Goro softened a little, thinking of that. Aw. Well. Jeez.

He started to lean forward, thinking maybe he should give Hansel a hug. Fuck, though, it was just too fuckin' weird. He couldn't get over it.

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the ground. "Ah, so, uh, anyway."

IZZY

"You ... okay?" Hansel asked doubtfully. "We good?" He offered Goro his hand, nervous -- in a way he hadn't been for a long fucking time -- that Goro might just not take it. Might not want him. And it'd be okay, because Goro would get the rest of his memories back -- it'd be okay, he told himself. It'd be okay.

LINA

Goro clasped his hands behind his back. "Uh huh. Good."

IZZY

Hansel drew his hand back. Okay. That was okay.

"Okay," he said quietly. "You need me for anything?"

LINA

Goro looked around the camp. "Um. Nah, nah, I think I just... need some alone time, yeah?"

IZZY

Hansel nodded. Completely fine. "'Kay. Lemme know if ... y'know."

LINA

"Sure. 'Course."

This guy would do anything for him. Goro'd seen plenty of evidence of that. Jeez. When had that happened?

IZZY

"A'right," Hansel said quietly. "I'll be around."

He took a couple steps back, not really wanting to take his eyes off Goro. Remembering how Goro used to run away, and shit. Wanting to say, Don't go far. It'll be okay. You'll remember.

(It'd always kind of seemed fake, though, right? Too good to be true? Maybe Goro would realize that if things came back in any order other than how they'd happened. Much as Hansel said that any version of him would love any version of Goro, maybe it didn't work the other way around.  Maybe it'd been a blue moon.)

Then he made himself turn around and ducked his head to look at the stone floor, and try to find someone who wanted him.

[END]

LINA

TRP: Goro, Hansel, Morgan, and Sam (Blue Moon). Day 426. Goro suddenly remembers many things about Morgan, and they cuddle. He remembers being hosted by Diva, and goes to Hansel for comfort. He remembers his first time meeting Hansel and becomes thoroughly weirded out.