BSCMC 011: Claudia and the Mystery at the Museum

The episode for "Claudia and the Mystery at the Museum" was originally released on May 13, 2019 and is Mystery #11. **You can listen to it here.** This episode is 1:09:30 long.This week's ghostwriter: Ellen Miles.

*Previous:* BSCMC 010: Stacey and the Mystery Money | *Next:* BSCMC 012: Dawn and the Surfer Ghost | *Or,* see all episodes.

## Official Episode Description

There’s suddenly a massive, new, multi-story, premiere art gallery in Stoneybrook, which would be enough of a mystery by itself if it weren’t for the mystery of how many freaking crimes are getting committed in this darn thing! Not to mention the mystery of all the “Lewks” Baby-Sitters Club Art Director Hodges Soileau is serving this week and whether he is, in fact, Daddy. Then there’s the mystery of the Skeleton Faction, the number 1016, and what, precisely, Claudia is wearing this week. Fortunately we have two of the world’s biggest idiots on the case, so expect plenty of coherent answers to all of these questions!

## Music Credits

* “The Big Idea,” by J Blanks
* “Beautiful Darkness,” by Allen Grey
* “News Intro Loop,” by Aurus Audio
* Original Intro by Scott Lamb
* Superbrat Outro by Superbrat

## Book Description

Tanner Sings "My Hero" by the Foo Fighters. Jack's description is the summary of "Night at the Museum".

Jack forgot his mysterious clock and searches for 60-Second Burger Run instead. He apparently died but Tanner reassures him that they have 30 more episodes to improve.

## Segments

###  Burn Of The Week

A very good burn
That stings you so right
A knife that doth turn.
It gets in your head
But oh so soon:
It will cause me to call
The burn unit.
—inspired by "The Sick Rose" by William Blake

Tanner: when the mix-eyed man walked through the museum and bumped into the skeleton, and then apologized to it.

Jack: No, she replied, I do think you're crazy. (And a long walk to a Malcolm Gladwell reference.)

Tanner: a burn on Ellen Miles for poorly-aged references: famous people in 1993: Michael Jackson and Roseanne Barr

Jack: the janitor retiring behind bars

###  Dad Watch

Jack says that Hodges is his daddy this week.

Tanner brings up a new dad in Stonybrook: "John" Kishi, who is a lawyer, partner in an investment firm.

###  Hashtag Swoon

Jack's hashtag swoon is the handsome man on the cover, serving up looks.

###  Jack and Tanner, Fashion Idiots

Jack: "Fuckin' French tuck, man."

"Bright red leggings topped by a white man tailored shirt and a vest that used to belong to my father."

###  Possible Worlds

The segment where Jack and Tanner provide clues that the Mystery books are in an adjacent universe to the main BSC canon. This is introduced by Jack reciting information about possible worlds theory and Tanner singing Your Body is a Wonderland.

There's suddenly a museum.

###  Soileau You Into the Dark

A Young Hodges Soileau

Baby Bee Carys was not put into storage.

Tanner forgot how to do the second part of the song.

"If the world were pink, that's what camouflage would be."

###  Tanner Googles

Tanner looks up an anagram finder but doesn't sing the song.

## Theories

###  Factions

A living skeleton in the Museum - are there different factions in the mystery universe?

## Jack's References

* Tim the Tool-Man Taylor
* "the mix-eyed man"
* The guy who plays the principal on Buffy in the first season
* "I hate your world"
* Malcolm Gladwell's Blink
* Stonybrook is like Gotham
* The year 1016, The Death of Æthelred the Unready; Jack goes into the etymology and the pun that is his name
* Jack recites several Bible verses, including "And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd." (John 10:16)
* Jack relates a story about having to write an apology letter to the French Embassy about peeing in a fountain.

## Tanner's References

* Mads Mikkelsen, Wesley Snipes
* In response to Jack bringing up Malcolm Gladwell's Blink, Tanner says "That's my favorite episode"
* Earth 1016
* Tanner recites a list of other things from 10/16.
* "Candy baby shoes, never worn."

## Notes

* "If you had to be an animal, what kind of animal would you be?"
	+ Discussion of the poor choice of koala for Mary Anne; Tonga Zoo; gonorrhea
	+ Jack has learned to say squirrel in the American
	+ Tanner would be a horny toad
	+ How to pluralize "octopus"
* A tour through art history with Claudia this week: Rancuzi, Henry Moore, Van Gogh, an invented "Don Newman" character.
* "pulling a Janine" is like "pulling a Jack".

## Sign Off

Circumsizse the foreskin of your heart and be no more stiff-necked.

## References & Links

#### Literature

1. ↑ "The Sick Rose" by William Blake: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43682/the-sick-rose
2. ↑ Possible Worlds, Artificial Intelligence, and Narrative Theory: https://www.amazon.com/Possible-Worlds-Artificial-Intelligence-Narrative/dp/0253350042
3. ↑ Malcolm Gladwell's Blink: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blink:\_The\_Power\_of\_Thinking\_Without\_Thinking
#### Culture

1. ↑ A compilation of every grunt from Tim the Tool-Man Taylor on Home Improvement: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQwYNca4iog
2. ↑ Ken Lerner: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0503624/?ref\_=tt\_cl\_t7
3. ↑ Agent Smith from The Matrix: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agent\_Smith
4. ↑ Mads Mikkelsen: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0586568/
5. ↑ Blink, S3E10 of the new Doctor Who, widely considered to be one of the show's best episodes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blink\_(Doctor\_Who)
6. ↑ Earth 1016: https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Earth-1016
#### Music

1. ↑ "My Hero" by the Foo Fighters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqWRaAF6\_WY
2. ↑ John Mayer's "Your Body is a Wonderland": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5EnGwXV\_Pg

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