Los Risitos

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Whilst the exact origins of Los Risitos remain unknown to the general populace, it is generally accepted amongst the reputable and prestigious scholars of New Manhattan University that he was born sometime in early 1946, in the Taimenye Lake situated along the southern slope of the Katunsky Mountain Range. His mother was a Siberian peasant with strong links to the deposed aristocracy of the Altai Republic, whilst his father was believed to be a former German soldier who wandered the remote mountain ranges of Northern Russia as a hermit after the official surrender of the Nazi Regime on May 7, 1945.

In December 1979, after spending numerous years working as a farmer in his native village, Los Risitos was suddenly removed from his remote peasant lifestyle when he was conscripted into the Soviet 40th Army to support the People's Democratic Party of Afghanistan (PDPA). While he was serving in Afghanistan, he encountered the Desert Wolves, a professional American military squadron under orders to test their prototype military technology on a live battlefield. He was forcibly abducted by the Wolves, and taken to a government safehouse in a remote region of Southern Africa where he was interrogated regarding the activities of the Soviet 40th Army in Afghanistan. When he impressed the Desert Wolves with his calm temperament and steel resolve despite the harsh torture he endured, he was offered a place in the elite group by their commander, Lieutenant Jacobs- he immediately accepted.

Los Risitos became a high-ranking member of the Desert Wolves, after exemplary performance in numerous high-risk and suicide missions across a 10-year span. This caused him to become a legendary figure amongst friends and enemies alike, a reputation which he came to consistently resent throughout his career with the Desert Wolves- he is widely quoted as saying "I'm just an ordinary soldier, not a legend, but a mere man" when presented with the highest medal achievable by any member of an elite military unit.

However, he became disillusioned with the motives of the Desert Wolves after the death of Lieutenant Jacobs from widespread bone cancer in 1989. Their new commander, Captain Roger Andrews, had a much harsher attitude and little regard for civilians and innocents on the battlefield- after numerous incidents in which Los Risitos disobeyed Captain Andrews by refusing to take place in the slaughter of civilians, he was dishonorably discharged from the Desert Wolves- whilst he was simply allowed to walk out of the base out of respect for his legendary performance in his earlier years, he was kidnapped by a group of assassins secretly under orders from Andrews and left for dead in a prison in Kabul.

Despite his confinement in Kabul pleasing Andrews and causing him to remove all thoughts of Los Risitos from his mind, Risitos simply refused to perish through a stroke of luck. After two years of rotting in the prison, he was given a new cellmate in 1991- an ex-Nazi scientist known as Dr. Heinrich Hestrad. Hestrad had worked on secretive Nazi nanotechnology experiments before the end of the Second World War, and was later forced to continue his research under the Soviets- an eventual attempt to escape caused him to be brutally beaten by his Russian captors, and punished with a 'fate worse than death' in the Kabul prison.

However, Hestrad was broken in body but not mind- he was still mentally sound, and able to pass his scientific and mechanical knowledge, including secretive information regarding nanomachines, onto Risitos before his passing two months later. Los Risitos used this information to give himself nanomachines, by ordering his remaining contacts in the Desert Wolves to smuggle chemical compounds into the prison which he then modified into makeshift nanomachines over a period of five months. Injecting himself, he blacked out and fell into a coma for a few days- when he awoke, he felt rejuvenated and full of youth. With great physical strength and power, he was able to simply smash through the walls of the prison and make an amazing escape which would go down in Middle Eastern legend as "The man who refused to be imprisoned."

Andrews soon discovered that Risitos was very much alive, and fearing that the legendary soldier would come after him in an act of revenge, he sealed himself within the Desert Wolves bunker and tightened security. However, the Desert Wolves turned against him- they too had grown tired of the rampant corruption and sheer evil surrounding Andrews, and every single member apart from a few loyal men abandoned him to his inevitable fate.

Los Ristios finally located the bunker two months later, having no idea of its exact location due to only entering and leaving the base via helicopter during his active service- aside from when he left the base after his discharge, but even then he was assaulted by a group of assassins as soon as he made it out of the entrance. Storming into the bunker with the sheer strength of his nanomachines and his lust for revenge fuelling him, he tore Andrews and his men limb from bloody limb and regained what he had lost so many years ago: his dignity.

Two hundred years later, Los Risitos was merely a wandering nomad and a shadow of his former self. Despite regaining his dignity and honor after murdering Andrews, the man who had betrayed him and had left him in a prison to rot for eternity, he now found himself without purpose- without revenge, he had nothing. Fuelled by madness, he used his remaining contacts within the ex-Desert Wolves- whom he had passed his knowledge of nanomachines onto- to build a portal into the Steven Universe Universe.

Skilled Rifleman- His service in the Soviet Army has made him skilled with common rifles, even if they are of poor condition (as was common amongst poorly-manufactured Soviet armaments).

Super Strength- He maintains a strong muscle mass, and can lift or otherwise move objects up to one hundred times his weight due to the power of his nanomachines. He is also very resistant to damage.

Battle Experience- He is not phased by the horrors of war and instead revels in bloodshed and the chaos of the battlefield, which would otherwise break the minds of the pitiful denizens of Steven Universe.

Living Legend- His status as the legendary mercenary inspires courage and valiance amongst his comrades, and fear and loathing amongst his enemies.