recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Episode 171: No Such Thing As A Half-Ape Vampire

**No Such Thing As A Half-Ape Vampire** is the 171st episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 15th episode of the fourth year, and the 26th episode of 2017. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the man behind human chess, Agatha Christie's untranslatable book and deceitful camemberts.
>
>

## Facts

* The Icelandic version of Agatha Christie's *Lord Edgware Dies* took over 10 years to complete because the translator couldn't work out how to translate two words. (Schreiber)
* Of the 360 million wheels of camembert made every year, less than 1% are actually camembert. (Harkin)
* Norway's coastline is so long that, if you took a piece of string along it and then stretched it out, it would run around the whole planet 2.5 times. (Murray)
* Beef Stroganoff is named after the great-grandson of the person who brought human chess to Russia. (Ptaszynski)

## Trivia

* The chess player Kirsan Ilyumzhinov was part of a headline fact in Episode 29: No Such Thing As Terrestrial Sweetcorn.
Brazil v Croatia

### Previous

In series: NoneChronologically: Episode 14: No Such Thing As A Dirty Pair of Jeans

### Next

Spain v Netherlands

**Brazil v Croatia** is the 1st episode of International Factball, and the 15th episode of 2014. It features presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Example Facts

* There is an island in Brazil the size of Buckingham Palace Gardens which contains 500,000 venomous snakes. (Harkin)
* It was only in 1950 that the highest point in Brazil was discovered. (Schreiber)
* The word "cravat" comes from an old name for the people of Croatia. (Ptaszynski)
* Croatia was the birthplace of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest inventors of all time, who developed Alternating current and the Death ray. (Murray)

## Half Time Show

As Factball is made in association with VisitEngland, the presenters ask three trivia questions about England during half time, and provide answers at the end.

* On Silverdale Golf Course in Lancashire you can find the rarest orchid in England, the Lady's-Slipper Orchid. (Harkin)
* In 1949 Big Ben was slowed down by five minutes when a flock of starlings landed on its minute hand. (Ptaszynski)
* In 1967, Dr Robert Dunning started writing the authoritative history of Somerset. After 40 years he had to retire, with only 9 of his 22 planned volumes finished. (Murray)
Episode 207: No Such Thing As Harry Potter And The Great Overreaction

**No Such Thing As Harry Potter And The Great Overreaction** is the 207th episode of *No Such Thing As A Fish*, the 51st episode of the fourth year, and the 10th episode of 2018. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Brighton Dome in Brighton.

## Description

> Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss suspended babies, computer-generated sweet nothings, and the man who waters his house every day.
>
>

## Facts

* Until the 17th century, mothers hung their babies up on hooks while they worked. (Ptaszynski)
* There's a man in Brazil who's been living in a sandcastle for 22 years. He has to constantly water his house to prevent it from collapsing. (Harkin)
* Queen Elizabeth I was a man, according to the *Dracula* author Bram Stoker. (Schreiber)
* When a computer tried to come up with romantic messages for Love Hearts sweets based on existing ones, it came up with "BEAR WIG", "MEAT MATE", "BONG LOV", and "YOU ARE BAG". (Murray)

###  Audience Fact

Throughout this tour, the Elves gave away a copy of The Complete Second Year Cassette to the best audience-submitted fact.

> If a human could move their arm 1/10 as fast as a mantis shrimp, they could throw a baseball into orbit. (John Platt)
>
>

## Trivia

* This is the first stop on the 2018 Tour.

## Notes

1. ↑ Wikipedia: Swaddling
2. ↑ BBC: The Brazilian man who lives in a sandcastle
3. ↑ Wikipedia: Famous Impostors
4. ↑ AI Weirdness: Candy Heart messages written by a neural network
5. ↑ AI Weirdness: More candy hearts by neural network
6. ↑ Pedestrian TV: Don’t Ask AI To Generate Candy Hearts Unless You Want “SWEAT POO” Or “HOLE”
7. ↑ Penn State | SiOWfa13: Science in Our World: The Mantis Shrimp: An Undersea Nightmare
Episode 229: No Such Thing As The Great Modesto

**No Such Thing As The Great Modesto** is the 229th episode of *No Such Thing As A Fish*, the 21st episode of the fifth year, and the 33rd episode of 2018. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, and Dan Schreiber, and guest QI Elf Alex Bell. It was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss gold in the sewers, Robert Burn's homemade ink, and why Sweden's highest point isn't any more.
>
>

## Facts

* The Swiss flush about $2 million worth of gold down the toilet every year. (Bell)
* Robert Burns made his own ink out of old beer, lard, elephant tusk, and sulfuric acid. (Murray)
* Sweden's highest point is now its second-highest after the top of it melted. (Harkin)
* When financier William C. Ralston modestly refused to allow a town to be named after him, the town instead called itself Modesto. (Schreiber)

 Trivia

* Regular presenter Anna Ptaszynski is absent.
	+ Alex Bell guests.
* Dan mentions the fatberg displayed at the London Museum, and that it was discussed in *The Book of the Year 2018*.
* James mentions the film *The Englishman who Went up a Hill but Came down a Mountain* which was previously discussed in Episode 49.
* James mentions his uncle trying to get Bolton renamed Bolton le Moors, which was mentioned in Episode 75.

## Notes

1. ↑ CNN: Scientists find gold worth $2 million in Swiss sewage
2. ↑ The Times: How ale, acid and lard added flavour to poetry of Burns
3. ↑ Business Insider: Europe's extreme summer is so hot it melted the highest peak in Sweden, and now it's only the second-highest
4. ↑ Wikipedia: Kebnekaise
5. ↑ Dan's fact was sent to him by Twitter user @shutter\_butter. (Original tweet)
6. ↑ Britannica: William C. Ralston | American banker
Fence Post Beats

Monkey Wrench: **Naive scientists develop chip for government, believe for better because was lied to. John, the father of Scarlett, is one of them. ``One chip was ready, scientists realize the real evil intent of AI government and modify the algorithm to add the message with instruction about whereabouts of the solution to fight the effect. (child of a scientist must be the key)**

Enter Bizarro World: **Government starts to implant chip forcefully and it emerges massive resistance and escalation of force. Chipped people become zombie-like obedient to the government.**

Grande Success: **United unaffected without chip Underground Glitchers, also hackers, develop Glitch to turn off control of all chips. Fight the way to a government facility and deploy glitch. All are cured.**

All-In: **People start to realize that something wrong and they need to organize to fight the government. Insight of what's happen reveal that daughter of scientists that worked on the chip exist and may know something.**

Venti Failure: **Fix has been developed and deployed by the government turns the majority of people back to obedient coma.**

Soapbox Revisited: **Daughter of a scientist, Scarlett was found and she was not affected completely despite having the working chip. Underground Glitchers bring her in to study the secret. New Glitch was developed to create malfunction that supposes to disable chip completely.**

Main Event Showdown: **Underground Glitchers fight the way through government facility, upload glitch, and people are liberated due to chips are completely erased. People finally can organize and fight.**
Episode 126: No Such Thing As A Boy Named Blclintn

**No Such Thing As A Boy Called Blclintn** is the 126th episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 22nd episode of the third year, and the 33rd episode of 2016. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and guest QI Elf Anne Miller. It was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss literal sexual magnetism, Olympic races for old ladies, and all the children named after Tony Blair.
>
>

## Facts

* The Olympics used to have a race which was just for old ladies. (Schreiber)
* There was a Victorian comic song called "Tony Blair". (Miller)
* The first president of the Women's Institute used a frying pan as a whip, wore an entire stuffed owl on her head, and officially named the city of Canberra. (Ptaszynski)
* You can make yourself more attractive to members of the opposite sex by giving them a magnet. (Harkin)

## Trivia

* Regular presenter Andrew Hunter Murray is absent, doing his Edinburgh Fringe show Andrew Hunter Murray: Round One.
	+ Anne Miller guests, making her fourteenth appearance.
* Dan lived in Kosovo.
Episode 225: No Such Thing As An Interesting Riddle

**No Such Thing As An Interesting Riddle** is the 225th episode of *No Such Thing As A Fish*, the 17th episode of the fifth year, and the 29th episode of 2018. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Sydney Opera House in Sydney, Australia.

## Description

> Live from the Sydney Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss BBC stock orgies, being buried with a chicken and why you might cycle the Olympic marathon.
>
>

## Facts

* The BBC has sound effects including "indisposed chicken", "more or less normal chicken", "standard orgy", and "comedy orgy". (Murray)
* In the first Olympic marathon in 1896, the same stopwatch was used at the start and finish line, so had to be carried from one to the other ahead of the runners by bicycle. (Ptaszynski)
* In 1st century Denmark, if you were really rich, you were buried with a chicken. If you were really, really rich, you were buried with a goose. (Harkin)
* Before magician P. T. Selbit invented the famous "sawing a woman in half" illusion, his big trick was called "The Mighty Cheese", which saw him daring members of the audience onto the stage to try and push over his massive block of cheese. (Schreiber)

 Trivia

* This is the fifth stop on the Australasia Tour.
	+ This is the fifth Fish live show outside of Europe, the fifth in Oceania, and the fifth and final show in Australia.
* James and Anna announce an appearance at the 2018 London Podcast Festival as guests on The Comedian's Comedian.
* After a mention of Arthur Conan Doyle, Anna calls him "the most gullible man we've ever researched" in reference to the facts about him in Episode 130.

## Notes

1. ↑ BBC Sound Effects [direct source]
2. ↑ The New Yorker: The Olympics' Never-Ending Struggle to Keep Track of Time
3. ↑ ScienceNordic: The biggest status symbol in the Nordic Iron Age was a goose
4. ↑ The Illusion Repository: The Mighty (Wrestling) Cheese
Episode 324: No Such Thing As Mambo No. 2

**No Such Thing As Mambo No. 2** is the 324th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 12th episode of the seventh year, and the 23rd episode of 2020. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded from home due to COVID-19.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Shameful Tunes, Moving Dunes and Historic Cartoons.
>
> Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
>
>

## Facts

* Sand dunes are brilliant at social distancing. (Schreiber)
* According to a recent publication people from the North of England are more than twice as likely to be naturally funny than people from the South of England. (Harkin)
* In 1943 German troops who were rescuing Mussolini had to seize control of a tourist funicular railway so they could ride a cable car to the top of a hill and pick him up. (Ptaszynski)
* In Medieval Germany bad musicians were tied to an instrument called the flute of shame. (Murray)

## Trivia

* This is the eleventh Working From Home episode due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
* Harkin went on holiday to Peru during Episode 182, and he returned with a fact about the country in Episode 183: No Such Thing As A Bouncy Theatre.
* Harkin jokes about the Mongolian Death Worm, an old favourite which was last mentioned in Episode 150.
* Murray mentions a film set being buried in the desert, which was also a headline fact in Episode 198: No Such Thing As Cleopatra Movie Trivia.
* The Beano was discussed at length in TBA.
* The coincidence of the British Dennis the Menace and the American Dennis the Menace was discussed in TBA.
* The comic strip about the life of a coat is discussed again in TBA.
* Ptaszynski jokes about Murray's "obsession" with moss, which was a headline fact in Episode 315: No Such Thing As Tedious Moss, and referred to again in Episode 319.
Episode 142: No Such Thing As Edward Binbag-Hands

**No Such Thing As Edward Binbag-Hands** is the 142nd episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 38th episode of the third year, and the 49th episode of 2016. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aeroplane-chasing bumblebees, spiky penises, and the weighing scales in the Oval Office.
>
>

## Facts

* The White House's Oval Office is a giant weighing scale. (Schreiber)
* Because male bumblebees rely on sight to find females, they sometimes find themselves chasing after aeroplanes. (Harkin)
* Running a leaf blower for 30 minutes creates more emissions than driving a pickup truck 3,800 miles. (Murray)
* Early humans had spiky penises. (Ptaszynski)

## Trivia

* Dan mentions the story of Lyndon B Johnson urinating on the shoes of a Secret Service agent, which was previously mentioned in TBA.
* Dan talks about Eucalyptus trees, in an example of I Don't Think They Even Know They're X.
* Andy notes that this is the first time he's noticed someone make a joke which ended up becoming the title.
Episode 160: No Such Thing As A Sausage Jacuzzi

**No Such Thing As A Sausage Jacuzzi** is the 160th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 4th episode of the fourth year, and the 15th episode of 2017. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail spas, the world's largest porch swings, and the least practical way to wash clothes.
>
>

## Facts

* At rush hour there are more people under the ground in London than there are above-ground in Edinburgh. (Schreiber)
* Every month the same number of people on average Google "how to make love" as "how to make slime". (Harkin)
* Old Faithful, the geyser in Yellowstone National Park, used to be used as a washing machine. (Ptaszynski)
* There are three porch swings which claim to be the world's largest, in Nebraska, Louisiana, and Ontario. None of them is on a porch. (Murray)

## Trivia

* After Ptaszynski's facts about a man being blasted through a riverbed by compressed air, and about people having private tube carriages, James suggests that she has Dan's Notes.
	+ This fact was confirmed in Episode 164: No Such Thing As A Poo Powered Plane.
Episode 269: No Such Thing As Singing The Sport

**No Such Thing As Singing The Sport** is the 269th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 9th episode of the sixth year, and the 20th episode of 2019. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at The Lowry in Salford.

## Description

> Live from Salford, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss canine height restrictions, finch bite quotients, and the Manchester Of The East.
>
>

## Facts

* In 17th century Europe people used to sing each-other the news. (Schreiber)
* Pound-for-pound a 33-gram finch can bite you 320 times harder than a T-Rex could. (Murray)
* The most polluted city in the world is Kanpur. It is nicknamed "the Manchester of the East". (Harkin)
* Dogs over 35cm tall are banned from Beijing. (PtaszynskI)

 Trivia

* This is the eleventh stop on the In No Particular Order tour.
* This is the second Fish show at The Lowry, the first being Episode 83: No Such Thing As A Flying Sniffer Dog.
* Ptaszynski compares singing the news to social media, but then points out that she is not on social media.
* Schreiber's fact about Yoyogi Park came from Ash Gardner.
Episode 107: No Such Thing As Gorillas on the Beach

**No Such Thing As Gorillas On The Beach** is the 107th episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 3rd episode of the third year, and the 14th episode of 2016. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at Òran Mór, Glasgow.

## Description

> Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spagnostic pastafarians, mystery pool pooers and the world's first speech bubble.
>
>

## Facts

* In Utah it is illegal to wear a hat in your driving licence photo, but you can have a photo of you wearing a colander on your head for religious reasons. (Schreiber)
* There was a Victorian job that consisted solely of pushing people into the sea, known as a "dipper". (Murray)
* Desperate Dan stopped eating cow pies because of mad cow disease. (Ptaszynski)
* The oldest sperm is worm sperm. (Harkin)

## Trivia

* This is the fifteenth stop on the No Such Thing As A Fish Live tour.
	+ The subsequent episode, Episode 108: No Such Thing As Samurai Olaf, was also recorded at Òran Mór.
* Andy gives his twitter username as @LollyMoldLover.
* Ptaszynski mentions the fact that fruit flies have the largest sperm relative to body size in nature, which is again discussed in Episode 156: No Such Thing As A Limited Edition.
Episode 150: No Such Thing As A Helium Filled Pufferfish

**No Such Thing As A Helium Filled Pufferfish** is the 150th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 46th episode of the third year, and the 5th episode of 2017. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the bits of Earth on the Moon, venom-swiping slugs, and when Mount Rushmore will finally be finished.
>
>

## Facts

* In the final years of its construction, Mount Rushmore was built by baseball players. (Schreiber)
* On some train journeys in China, passengers are forced to take it in turns to use the seats so that everyone gets a chance to sit down for some of the journey. (Harkin)
* The Moon has been collecting tiny bits of Earth for the last 3 billion years. (Murray)
* The deadliest user of Portuguese man o' war venom is **not** the Portuguese man o' war. (Ptaszynski)

## Trivia

* In this episode a survey is promoted, which asked listeners about the adverts NSTAAF were using at the time. Prizes for completing the survey included money, the No Such Thing As A Fish LP, the Fish hoodie, and a stuffed Mongolian Death Worm.
* Schreiber introduces Andy as "Drew Murray", which Andy hates. He is corrected by Harkin to "Drew Hunter Murray", but referencing the previous episode, Andy insists on being called "Lightning".
* Andy mentions the fact about snails' anuses moving during the course of their life from Episode 138: No Such Thing As Fluff Island.
Episode 170: No Such Thing As A Love Potion For A Vole

**No Such Thing As A Love Potion For A Vole** is the 170th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 14th episode of the fourth year, and the 25th episode of 2017. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, and Anna Ptaszynski, and QI Elf Alex Bell. It was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss stinking ice, smart seeds and the world's greatest fly swatters.
>
>

## Facts

* Early ice-skating rinks stank of pig fat. (Murray)
* In 1912, the Toronto government ran a fly-swatting competition. It was won by a 15-year-old girl who killed half a million flies. (Ptaszynski)
* When animating *One Hundred and One Dalmatians*, Disney photocopied the dogs. (Bell)
* Seeds have brains. (Harkin)

## Trivia

* Regular presenter and host Dan Schreiber is absent.
	+ In his absence, Andrew Hunter Murray hosts.
	+ Alex Bell guests, making his second in a row.
	+ Murray introduces himself as "Lightning", a reference to Episode 149: No Such Thing As The Train King of Europe, when he insisted on being introduced as such.
* Argan oil was previously mentioned in Episode 89: No Such Thing As Utah Fried Chicken.
Episode 153: No Such Thing As Mulled Wine At The Dawn Of Time

**No Such Thing As Mulled Wine At The Dawn Of Time** is the 153rd episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 49th episode of the third year, and the 8th episode of 2017. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aphrodisiac sorbet, non-flammable newspapers and the world's Scilliest soccer teams.
>
>

## Facts

* The smallest football league in the world is the Isles of Scilly league. It consists of two teams; the Woolpack Wanderers and the Garrison Gunners, who play each-other 22 times per season. (Murray)
* In the 1940s, in America, if you wanted to play a recording of a band's song on a radio, the entire team had to be present in the studio. (Ptaszynski)
* The British Library has a collection of over 60 million newspapers, and none of them can catch fire. (Schreiber)
* The man who invented mulled wine also invented an aphrodisiac sorbet. (Harkin)

## Trivia

* Questions for the 3rd anniversary live show of Fish are requested here. That show was released as Episode 155: No Such Thing As Hurricane Schmurricane.
Episode 198: No Such Thing As Cleopatra Movie Trivia

**No Such Thing As Cleopatra Movie Trivia** is the 198th episode of *No Such Thing As A Fish*, the 42nd episode of the fourth year, and the 1st episode of 2018. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at Up The Creek in Greenwich, London.

## Description

> Live from Up The Creek In Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the dead author under the bed, the first ever sports bra, and Poopy the Ambassador.
>
>

## Facts

* Archaeologists have just dug up in the middle of the desert an enormous sphinx statue. It is believed to be anywhere up to 95 years old. (Murray)
* When British author William Hazlitt died, his landlady was so keen to re-let his room that she hid his body under the bed while she showed new tenants around. (Schreiber)
* UNICEF has a nutrition ambassador called Poopy. (Harkin)
* The first ever sports bra was two jockstraps. (Ptaszynski)

## Trivia

* This is the eighth stop on the 2017 Tour.
* A movie set being buried in the desert would later be discussed in Episode 324.
* William Hazlitt is first mentioned in this episode, later reappearing in Episodes 318 and 353 as one of the show's favourite "friends of the podcast".
* Andy's fact about Percy Shelley's "heart" was previously discussed in Episode 128.
* Andy mentions that the audience fact from Episode 191 was also about Caresse Crosby.
* Dan gives his Twitter name as @CleopatraMovieTrivia.

## Notes

1. ↑ cecilbdemille.com: Another Sphinx Head Discovered From ‘The Ten Commandments’
2. ↑ The Guardian: Spirit of the age
3. ↑ Anna got her fact from the 99% Invisible podcast.
4. ↑ Smithsonian Magazine: How the First Sports Bra Got Its Stabilizing Start
Fish Bone

**Fish Bones** are enemies that originated in Super Mario World.

## Behavior

On land, Fish Bones will simply fall until they touch the ground, dying when they touch the ground, or in Lava or Poison. When in Water or in the Night Sky/Airship Course Theme, they will normally swim back and forth, but when a player comes close, they will face that player and then move quickly in a straight line. They will die if they hit a wall.

Fish Bones can be defeated by any attack except fireballs or being stomped in the Underwater Course Theme or in Forest Water. However, they can be stomped otherwise. They will also be defeated if they hit a player wearing a Buzzy Shell from above.

With Wings, Fish Bones will move faster.
Episode 17: No Such Thing As A Bassoon In A Football Stadium

**No Such Thing As A Bassoon In A Football Stadium** is the 17th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 17th episode of the first year, and the 32nd episode of 2014. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and guest John Lloyd, the creator of QI. It was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> This week in the QI Office Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anna Ptaszynski (@nosuchthing), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) & Chief Gnome John Lloyd (@qikipedia) discuss Elgar's football chants, Arsenal's response to 9/11, how connecting trains can affect a match, and more... *Liking football not required*
>
>

## Facts

* The first known football chant was composed by Edward Elgar. (Ptaszynski)
* Eric Cantona was raised in a cave. (Schreiber)
* In the first World Cup Final, Uruguay and Argentina could not agree on the size of the ball to use, so they used Argentina's small ball in the first half (ending with Argentina 2-1 up), and Uruguay's big ball in the second half (Uruguay won 4-2). (Harkin)
* FIFA has more members than the United Nations. (Lloyd)

## Trivia

* This episode is football-themed, to tie in with the final of the 2014 World Cup, making it an unofficial end to the International Factball series.
* This is the first appearance of John Lloyd, the creator of QI, and "head elf" - referred to in the programme as "head gnome".
	+ As there are five people around the microphones, regular presenter Andrew Hunter Murray fact-checks this episode.
* James Harkin supports Tranmere Rovers.
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Episode 137: No Such Thing As Churchill's Secret Parrot

**No Such Thing As Churchill's Secret Parrot** is the 137th episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 33rd episode of the third year, and the 44th episode of 2016. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray and Anna Ptaszynski, and guest QI Elf Anne Miller. It was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Andy, Anna, James and Anne discuss Coca Cola copycat companies, places where compasses don't work and the dangers of farting on a plane.
>
>

## Facts

* 4-year-old mice are less common than 100-year-old humans. (Harkin)
* The detective agency that hunted Butch Cassidy also worked for Coca-Cola. (Ptaszynski)
* You cannot get to the highest point in Mauritania with a compass. (Murray)
* In 2015, a plane had to make an emergency landing after the smoke alarm was triggered by farting sheep. (Miller)

## Trivia

* Regular presenter and host Dan Schreiber is absent.
	+ Anne Miller guests, making her fifteenth appearance.
	+ In the absence of Schreiber, Andrew Hunter Murray hosts.
* All the facts in this episode come from the book 1,342 QI Facts To Leave You Flabbergasted.
Episode 102: No Such Thing As A Water Mortar

**No Such Thing As A Water Mortar** is the 102nd episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 50th episode of the second year, and the 9th episode of 2016. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Gulbenkian Theatre in Canterbury.

## Description

> Live from the Gulbenkian theatre in Canterbury, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss silly string, arrows in the air, frightened marmosets and the battle of the keyboards.
>
>

## Facts

* The first water balloons were made out of socks. (Harkin)
* You cannot write properly in French on French computer keyboards. (Schreiber)
* Archers at the Battle of Agincourt had three arrows in the air at any given moment. (Murray)
* Right-handed marmosets are braver than left-handed marmosets. (Ptaszynski)

## Trivia

* This is the tenth stop on the No Such Thing As A Fish Live tour.
* Murray is left-handed, which is discussed at length in Episode 290: No Such Thing As A Winter Fax Machine.
Episode 121: No Such Thing As The Sword In The Carbon Fibre

**No Such Thing As The Sword In The Carbon Fibre** is the 121st episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 17th episode of the third year, and the 28th episode of 2016. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wood-sucking catfish, wizard prison, and Ancient Egyptian butchers.
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## Facts

* The reason Merlin isn't called Merdin is to avoid confusion with a 12th century word for faeces. (Ptaszynski)
* Mate tea leaves sometimes flow upstream from the cup to the teapot. (Harkin)
* Butchers in Ancient Egypt wore high heels. (Schreiber)
* There is a fish called the Amazonian wood-eating catfish, but it is unable to digest wood. (Murray)

## Trivia

* Greg Jenner is the source for a fact about Glastonbury Abbey and King Arthur.
* Schreiber's love of BRIAN BLESSED is mentioned.
* Schreiber mentions that Merlin was sorted into Slytherin, according to Pottermore. Ptaszynski, Harkin and Schreiber are all Slytherins.
Brighton Dome

The **Brighton Dome** is an arts venue in Brighton, and is the main hub for the Brighton Comedy Festival. It has hosted 4 episodes of No Such Thing As A Fish, only one of which was during the festival.

## No Such Thing As A Fish

* Episode 85: No Such Thing As Michaelangelo's Snowman
* Episode 207: No Such Thing As Harry Potter And The Great Overreaction
* Episode 245: No Such Thing As The Very Sexy Caterpillar
* Episode 274: No Such Thing As A Polite Baby
Episode 254: No Such Thing As A Toilet In The Car

**No Such Thing As A Toilet In The Car** is the 254th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 46th episode of the fifth year, and the 5th episode of 2019. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss gingerbread in the toilet, the invention of wing mirrors, and silent movie bags.
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## Facts

* The rear-view mirror was invented so that racing drivers didn't have to have a passenger explaining what was going on behind them. (Ptaszynski)
* A 2018 paper, suggesting that people who have a surname which occurs towards the end of the alphabet are more likely to end up academically undistinguished, was co-authored by Professor Jeffrey S. Zax. (Harkin)
* Grocery bags used in Hollywood movies don't rustle. (Schreiber)
* Eating ginger can make you feel better about drinking out of a toilet. (Murray)

 Trivia

* The Fish team's appearance on Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast is announced, which is called back to in Episode 278: No Such Thing As A Herring-Okapi Hybrid.
	+ The QI Elves are also making appearances on Zoe Ball's breakfast show.
* Murray again uses the name "Aaron J Aaronson" an an example of someone at the top of a register, which was also used in Episode 218: No Such Thing As Tennis On The Moon.
* The four hosts have four different types of surname - Harkin is a clan name, from the Gaelic "descendant of Earcan"; Murray is locative, deriving from the place Moray; Ptaszynski is a descriptive name, being Polish for bird-like; and Schreiber is occupational, being German for scribe.
* James has not seen *The Lord of the Rings*.
Episode 120: No Such Thing As HMS Kevin

**No Such Thing As HMS Kevin** is the 120th episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 16th episode of the third year, and the 27th episode of 2016. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Udderbelly Festival in the Southbank Centre, London.

## Description

> Live from the Udderbelly Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss houses made for burgling, flimsy warships and graffiti in the sky.
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## Facts

* The way to defeat the Royal Navy's most advanced destroyer is to put it in warm water. (Schreiber)
* In 1998, Singapore held a beauty contest where 60% of the judging marks were awarded for how good a contestant's website was. (Harkin)
* There is a network of fully furnished fake apartments in the UK whose sole purpose is to get burgled. (Ptaszynski)
* The world's biggest skywriting firm recently turned down a request to draw the largest ever penis in the sky. (Murray)

## Trivia

* The NSTAAF hoodie is first plugged in this episode.
2020 Audio

**2020 Audio** is an audio production studio based in Tileyard Studios in Kings Cross, London. The team behind No Such Thing As A Fish recorded their audiobooks with 2020 Audio. Jane Hill narrated these audiobooks.

## Audiobooks

For each audiobook, one chapter was released as a preview podcast:

* The Audiobook of the Year
	+ Merry Fishmas!

* The Audiobook of the Year 2018
	+ Merry Christmas from Dan, James, Anna and Andy
* The Audiobook of the Year 2019
	+ Audiobook of the Year 2019 Preview

## No Such Thing As A Fish

One episode of No Such Thing As A Fish was recorded at 2020 Audio:

* Episode 237: No Such Thing As A Closed-Minded Tortoise
Episode 182: No Such Thing As An Auction For Auction School

**No Such Thing As An Auction For Auction School** is the 182nd episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 26th episode of the fourth year, and the 37th episode of 2017. It features regular presenters Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and guest presenter Jason Hazeley. It was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Jason Hazeley discuss the British Lawnmover Museum, questionnaires for narcissists, how Christie's auctioneers get over their nerves.
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## Facts

* The curator of the British Lawnmower Museum is allergic to grass. (Hazeley)
* Jimmy Carter once gave a speech in Poland where he accidentally announced that he wanted to have sex with all Polish people. (Ptaszynski)
* Narcissists don't like looking at themselves. (Schreiber)
* Clenching one's buttocks is a technique that Christie's auctioneers are taught to keep their hands steady. (Murray)

## Trivia

* Regular presenter James Harkin is absent.
	+ Jason Hazeley guests, making his first appearance.
	+ Hazeley's fact comes from research he did for his book Bollocks to Alton Towers.
	+ Harkin was on holiday in Peru, as mentioned in the next episode.
		- While in Peru he went sandboarding, which he mentions again in Episode 324: No Such Thing As Mambo No. 2.
Ella Al-Shamahi

**Rosie Jones** is an explorer, paleoanthropologist, evolutionary biologist, writer and stand-up comic. She has made three appearances as a guest on *No Such Thing As A Fish.*

## Appearances

* Episode 373: No Such Thing As The Handshake Police
* Episode 483: No Such Thing As Rivets On A Tombstone
* Episode 491: No Such Thing As The Beurre War
Episode 123: No Such Thing As A Molten Lava Football Pitch

**No Such Thing As A Sticky Shell Spoon** is the 123rd episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 19th episode of the third year, and the 30th episode of 2016. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss synchronised heartbeats, how to barbecue with lava, and the people who only read Playboy for the articles.
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## Facts

* A group of scientists are currently making their own lava. (Murray)
* The word "Timbuktu" means "woman with sticking-out belly button". (Harkin)
* Lovers' hearts beat in sync. (Ptaszynski)
* This year, Hugh Hefner sold the Playboy Mansion. It has 30 rooms, a pool, a tennis court, a zoo licence, and Hugh Hefner. (Schreiber)

## Trivia

* Harkin mentions the Gotthard-Base Tunnel from Series 1, Episode 3 of No Such Thing As The News.
* Schreiber mentions lava tunnels on the Moon, which are the basis of a headline fact in Episode 218: No Such Thing As Tennis On The Moon.
Episode 154: No Such Thing As A Submarine Shepherd

**No Such Thing As A Submarine Shepherd** is the 154th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 50th episode of the third year, and the 9th episode of 2017. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the UK's noisiest warships, how glow-worms go fishing and what happened to the world's first cannabis smokers.
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## Facts

* British warships are so noisy that enemy submarines can hear them from 100 miles away. (Harkin)
* The first account of Europeans smoking cannabis reported that one man hid in a jar for four hours, while another got into a fight with a pillar. (Ptaszynski)
* Glow-worms go fishing with their own urine. (Murray)
* According to the Endangered Language Alliance, Queens, New York is the most diverse area of spoken language in the world. (Schreiber)

## Trivia

* Harkin's fact is about the same battleships as Schreiber's fact from Episode 120: No Such Thing As HMS Kevin.
* Murray's fact is about the same glow-worms as Episode 124: No Such Thing As A Screaming Scream.
* Harkin again mentions the Plain of Jars, which was discussed in TBA.
* Murray's conspiracy theory about hemp paper is mentioned as being similarly boring to his conspiracy theory about public transport from Episode 118: No Such Thing As Dinner on a Spider.
* James relates a fact about the Duke of Portland's wine bottle prank, which became a headline fact in Episode 262: No Such Thing As A Man In A Wine Bottle.
Drop Us A Line — June 2023

**BONUS: Drop Us A Line — June 2023** is an unnumbered special episode of Club Fish which was rereleased as a subscription-free teaser of Club Fish content with the purpose of enticing listeners to join. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, and Dan Schreiber (Anna Ptaszynski was absent on maternity leave) and was recorded at the QI Offices in Holborn, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, and Andy sift through the correspondence sent in by listeners.
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> Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
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> If you'd like to write in, you can email podcast@qi.com
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Episode 149: No Such Thing As The Train King of Europe

**No Such Thing As The Train King of Europe** is the 149th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 45th episode of the third year, and the 4th episode of 2017. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, and Anna Ptaszynski, and guest QI Elf Anne Miller. It was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss boot camp for trains, celebrity camels, and why Shell send sea shells back to the sea shore.
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## Facts

* In 1758 there were two camels on display in London; one a one-hump and one a two-hump. They were advertised as the "surprising camel" and the "wonderful camel". (Harkin)
* Before they are launched, London sends all its trains to Austria to be beaten up. (Murray)
* The oil company Shell used to sell shells. (Miller)
* When Mozart first performed in Naples he had to stop to take his ring off halfway through, because the audience complained it was a magic ring. (Ptaszynski)

## Trivia

* Regular host Dan Schreiber is absent.
	+ In his absence, Ptaszynski hosts.
	+ Anne Miller guests.
* Ptaszynski gets confused and introduces herself as "Anna" without a surname. In response, Murray requests that he be called "Lightning".
* Anna's dubious fact about Chinese bamboo oil pipelines is compared to one of Dan's Facts.
Episode 169: No Such Thing As Constantly Awake Beauty

**No Such Thing As Constantly Awake Beauty** is the 169th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 13th episode of the fourth year, and the 24th episode of 2017. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, and Anna Ptaszynski, and QI Elf Alex Bell. It was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss synchronised blinking, the ants the size of foxes, and nocturnal apple-counting robots.
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## Facts

* Baby elephants suck their trunks for comfort. (Bell)
* Moviegoers blink in sync. (Harkin)
* If you buy an apple today, it might have been taken off the tree 3 years ago. (Murray)
* The first western eyewitness account of India described it as having ants the size of foxes. (Ptaszynski)

## Trivia

* Regular presenter and host Dan Schreiber is absent.
	+ In his absence, Anna Ptaszynski hosts.
	+ Alex Bell guests.
* Murray mentions the fact about a library full of nitrogen from Episode 153: No Such Thing As Mulled Wine At The Dawn Of Time.
* Harkin is compared to Schreiber when he says that robots can count apples, but only at night.
* Heroditus is mentioned again in Episode 193: No Such Thing As Death By Conga as a dubious source of historical information.
* The myth of humans with dog heads is again mentioned in Episode 179: No Such Thing As Stare-Boxing.
Episode 318: No Such Thing As 'Of Quails and Men'

**No Such Thing As 'Of Quails and Men'** is the 318th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 6th episode of the seventh year, and the 17th episode of 2020. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, and Anna Ptaszynski, and guest Greg Jenner. It was recorded from home due to COVID-19.

## Description

> James, Anna, Andy & Historian Greg Jenner discuss forks, eggs, ants, and why American audiences can be a little too Kean.
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> Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
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## Facts

* In 1825 Britain's most famous actor was nearly murdered by his own furious audience. (Jenner)
* It wasn't until 1913 that we finally figured out how to stop our food tasting like our cutlery. (Ptaszynski)
* Ants have a special stomach which is just to contain food to throw up into the mouths of other ants. (Murray)
* Ancient Egyptians had artificial egg incubators, but they didn't have thermometers, so they measured the temperature of the eggs by holding them to their eyelids. (Harkin)

## Trivia

* This is the fifth Working From Home episode due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
* Regular host Dan Schreiber is absent.
	+ In his absence, Anna Ptaszynski hosts.
	+ Greg Jenner guests, making his third appearance on Fish.
	+ Jenner is promoting his book *Dead Famous*.
* Ptaszynski mentions William Hazlitt, who was part of a headline fact in Episode 198: No Such Thing As Cleopatra Movie Trivia.
* Some of Philip Massinger's plays were lost because his cook used them as baking paper when making pies. Joseph Haydn's wife did the same thing with many of his musical scores, which was a headline fact in Episode 259: No Such Thing As Flyagra.
* Pliny the Elder has been mentioned in many episodes for his unusual remedies, and his mention of Indian ants "the size of foxes" was brought up in TBA.
* Harkin mentions regurgitators from the previous episode, human ostritches, and sword-swallowing from TBA.
Episode 199: No Such Thing As An Heroic Fire-Goat

**No Such Thing As An Heroic Fire-Goat** is the 199th episode of *No Such Thing As A Fish*, the 43rd episode of the fourth year, and the 2nd episode of 2018. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at De Montfort Hall in Leicester.

## Description

> Live from Leicester, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss meerkats' inside-out bottoms, California's imprisoned firefighters, and the risk of finding a golf ball in your crisps.
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## Facts

* Walkers crisps only source potatoes that are grown far away from golf courses because their factory machines can't distinguish between golf balls and potatoes. (Ptaszynski)
* During World War I, truces would occasionally be called in the trenches so both sides could yell insults at one another. (Harkin)
* 14% of all California's firefighters are in prison. (Schreiber)
* Meerkats can turn their bottoms inside out. (Murray)

### Audience Fact

Throughout this tour, the Elves gave away a copy of *The Book of the Year* to the best audience-submitted fact.

> Guide runners for sight-impaired runners can't use elasticated tethers at the Paralympics anymore because the Chinese started catapulting their runners over the finish line at the last minute. (Victor Jeganathan)
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## Trivia

* This is the eighth stop on the 2017 Tour.
* Anna's fact about crisps is corrected in the next episode, as Walkers have invented a machine which can tell the difference between golf balls and potatoes.
* James mentions the fact about Hans Steininger, the owner of the world's longest beard in the 16th century, dying by tripping on his own beard during a fire, which was previously brought up in Episode 23 and Episode 75.

## Notes

1. ↑ Physics World: The journey of a crisp [direct source]
2. ↑ Metro.co.uk: War diaries tell of a truce for teasing
3. ↑ The Guardian: California officials admit 40% of inmate firefighters are violent offenders
4. ↑ Popular Science: Meerkats use bacteria from their butts to make stinky graffiti
5. ↑ World Para Athletics: Rules and Regulations 2018-2019. (PDF)
Episode 29: No Such Thing As Terrestrial Sweetcorn

**No Such Thing As Terrestrial Sweetcorn** is the 29th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 29th episode of the first year, and the 44th episode of 2014. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Anna (@nosuchthing), and Andy (@andrewhunterm) discuss alien chess, whirling chairs, criminal theme tunes and how to get drunk on a shark.
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## Facts

* In 19th century America you could be committed to a mental asylum for reading a novel. (Ptaszynski)
* The Greenland shark is so slow that it needs all of its food to be asleep in order to eat it. (Schreiber)
* The head of the International Chess Federation, Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, believes chess was brought to Earth by aliens. (Harkin)
* The Yakuza has its own website with a theme tune designed to attract new members. (Murray)

## Trivia

* The latest QI fact book, *1411 QI Facts to Knock You Sideways* is announced.