Mayor McCheese

Mayor Douglas McCheese, addressing the citizens of McDonaldland in 1953.

**Douglas McCheese** was a general and politician from McDonaldland. He was General of McDonaldland from 1939 - 1946, then he became the 2nd Mayor of McDonaldland from 1946 - 1966. McCheese was assassinated by Officer Big Mac on November 22, 1966. His assassination has been the subject of multiple conspiracies ever since it happened, as their are many fallacies in the McDonaldland government's official story. You can find it's article here.

## Early life and childhood

Douglas "Ike" McCheese was born on December 25th, 1904. He grew up on a farm with his parents Ivan McCheese and Caitlin McCheese. He was a rancher of sorts, and would milk the cows and herd them. Young Ike developed an interest in politics and war at a young age, and wanted to be a general for a great army. When Ike was at the age of ten, World War I had started. His father, Ivan, went off to fight in the war. Ivan never came home from the war. With Ivan dead, Ike became the man of the house at the age of ten. This made young Ike's life a lot harder, and he had to work very hard to support his mother and younger siblings. A famous rumor is that Ike and his mother developed a romantic relationship. Ike has denied these claims. Ike served in the Marine Corps for four years from 1923 - 1927. His brother, Ted McCheese became the man of the house. When he returned from the military, he went back to his regular farming lifestyle, while desperately wanting change. He returned because he knew his younger brothers were incompetent. He wanted to make enough money so that his mother was set for life. He started manufacturing jury-rigged guns and custom weapons from farm equipment. He started an arms trade, and dabbled with other illegal activities. He met Captain Crook at a young age, and they were partners in crime, both later became politicians and friends. The money was flowing, and McCheese was happy. For once, he wasn't dirt poor, and his family was doing alright. McCheese started getting greedy, and embezzling his clients, and milking prices while giving them sloppily made products. Finally, one of his clients, Chuck E. Cheese, got sick of this. While Ike was out selling guns, on March 4th, 1931, Ike's family was slaughtered by hired guns of Chuck E. Cheese. He came back, and saw the carnage. But Ike's mother was missing. Ike McCheese vowed revenge on Chuck E. Cheese He was gonna kill Chuck E. Cheese, and save his mother. He began building heavy weaponry, and made himself a large suit of armor made from various metals and junk pieces. He was a walking one man army. He went to Chuck E. Cheese's HQ, and spearheaded an assault there. He took out all of Chuck's armed guards, and he finally reached the final corridor, at the end was a door, leading to Chucky's room. Chucky insulted Ike the whole way there, saying things like "They died like dogs, and you weren't there to save them!" and "How did you really think it would end, McCheese?". McCheese kicked open the door, and sprayed bullets blindly, When he ran out of ammo, he looked around the room. And in the middle of the room, he saw an abysmal sight. His mother was tied up in a chair. He had shot her to death. He fell into shock. He couldn't believe it. He fell to his knees. He decided to flee the scene, but on his way out he saw something that haunted him for the rest of his life. On a desk next to an intercom microphone, was a tape recorder, playing the voice of Chuck E. Cheese. McCheese spent the next five years of his life obsessing over Chuck E. Cheese, finally finding him in 1936. He confronted Chuck and shot him in both of his kneecaps. As Chuck laid on the floor, dying, McCheese asked him why he did it. Chuck explained it. Chuck E. Cheese's house was assaulted by a rival mob gang, and when Chuck tried to use one of the guns that McCheese sold him, it jammed, and failed to shoot. His wife and young daughter were raped and killed in front of him, and he barely got away with his life. McCheese looked at Chuck E. Cheese, and shot him point blank in the skull. He uttered the words "I'm sorry." under his breath. He left his body untouched, and returned to his farm. McCheese would end up burning his farm down in a mental breakdown. This is the last time he visited his family farm.

## Career as General of McDonaldland

After Chuck. E Cheese's death, Ike gave up the criminal life. He washed pallets for a living. The pay was terrible, and he was starving more often than not, but he almost enjoyed it. He tortured himself for all of the death he caused. He starved himself near to death, loving the feeling of death's embrace. In the crime community, he was known as "The Scrap General". In 1939, a young businessman named Ronald McDonald contacted him. He knew of his criminal past, and wanted to give him a knew life as a general for the newfound settlement of McDonaldland. With nothing left, Ike McCheese accepted this. He quit his job, and ventured to McDonaldland. As General of McDonaldland, McCheese had a new perspective of life. He embraced his position of dispensing death. He was glad that everything in his path died. He embraced his love for war as a child, and was a man of war. For the first two years of McDonaldland's existence, he spent time commanding the McDonaldland Army, fighting rebellious tribals in the area. But McDonaldland was becoming too powerful. A rising empire from Europe sought to destroy McDonaldland. The Chancellor of Germany, Ernst Chocula, wanted to see McDonaldland in flames. In 1944, his top generals carried out this order. McDonaldland was sieged and completely destroyed, and McCheese would flee the scene after feeble attempts of fighting. This was his greatest humiliation. Later, in 1945, he fought alongside the Allies in The Battle of The Golden Arches to restore order in McDonaldland. After this battle, he became the mayor of McDonaldland, thus ending his military career.

## Political career

Known as "The Cheesy Avenger" for his hand in saving McDonaldland, Ike's campaign slogan for 20 years was "I like Ike!". The people loved him and kept re-electing him every year. General Finley O'Grimacey described him as a "light in the darkness" and a "beacon of inspiration for every man, woman, and child". He lost a lot of popularity in 1953, when gave the order to nuke The Burger Kingdom, to dominate the fast-food market. He was somehow still elected, and his opponent at the time, Wendy, claimed it was rigged. She "coincidentally" died 4 months later. Finally, in 1966, not long after Chocula seized power in Romania, Mayor McCheese was assassinated by Officer Big Mac.

## Assasination

[See: The Assassination of Mayor McCheese].

## Legacy

Douglas "Ike" McCheese is still to this day hailed as one of the greatest men in McDonaldland history. Alongside Ronald McDonald, Finley O'Grimacey, and Craig Grimace, he is hailed as one of the Founding Fathers of McDonaldland.