Eggrollsbro

eggrolls circa. 2020, after being convicted for 14 separate counts of child kidnapping

## Info

### Team

Legion (poor guys)

eggrollsbro is an annoying, disgusting, child predator that plays on Purity instead of getting a job. He is well-known for holding his Christian morals and values near and dear to his heart, and for supporting the doxxing of the real name of a defenseless 12-year-old child.

## Egg escapes spawn: An Autistic Adventure

eggrolls started out his time on Purity the same as everyone else, spawning into the cobble nightmare which is spawn region. However, eggrolls' journey out of spawn was different to most, as, by his own admittance, it took him 20 deaths to get out of spawn region. Putting that into perspective, if we assume none of these deaths are suicides (which they wouldn't be, as new players rarely even know the command), eggrolls likely spent several hours escaping spawn, and by law of averages would have died to mobs, starvation, and gravity. It should be almost impossible to manage this, as all you really have to do is hold W down and sometimes press space bar, but as egg's time on Purity has proven, he is impossible to underestimate. After googling several FitMC videos desperately searching for advice on how to escape, he got out of spawn, and immediately set up a new faction, soon to be hated among the masses; The Crusaders.

Current Predator Level: Negligible

## Faggotry, thy name is eggrolls

In a bastardised attempt to establish himself on the server, eggrolls bought plat and started up The Crusaders. The Crusaders is known as being quite possibly one of the worst factions ever created on the server, inhabited by the worst people to have joined the server. eggrolls, being the massive cringefag he is, decided that as the 'Holy Leader' of The Crusaders, he would name their bases after biblical cities, the first of which was Antioch. Antioch was not anything like the city as we know of it - eggrolls' version of Antioch consisted of several medium-sized wooden buildings, the occasional random tower or shitty glass structure, and a boat which would have looked nice were it not for the sails being adorned with stars of David.

eggrolls' recruitment for his new faction led to him meeting some key players in his time leading The Crusaders. These people were:

- LAMFer - eggrolls met LAMF as, during a heated argument with Rhonor about whether or not it counts as pedophilia if you have autism, LAMF told them both to shut the fuck up. This sprung eggrolls into action, bombarding LAMF's discord dms for 40 days and 40 nights with incessant invites to The Crusaders interlinked with hour-long rants about questionable topics such as eggrolls' love-hate relationship with the concept of brushing one's teeth, or how he never wears underpants because he needs his 'undersides to breathe once in a while'. LAMF was one of the only tolerable Crusaders' members, which makes you wonder why he put up with the rest of them for so long;

- sevdasnek - An annoying child who followed eggrolls every move, thought and gesture. Essentially free labor for The Crusaders. Eggrolls invited him to join mere seconds after he first joined the server, threatening to steal his IP and burn his house down were sev to decline, which according to egg would be his fault because he would deserve it. Not the first child that eggrolls exploited, but certainly not the last.

- P3T3R420 - A malicious child, known for DDOSing several people and getting permabanned for doxxing a while after the fall of The Crusaders. Being similar to zUn1 but substantially more stupid and hateful, he was possibly the most annoying person to ever stain Purity Vanilla. eggrolls described him as 'a good kid'.

These three players formed the underlying foundation of The Crusaders (an unstable and volatile mess), above which egg would reign down upon his subjects... or so he thought.

Current Predator Level: Moderately fucked up

## World's worst insiding attempt (that somehow worked)

Not long after The Crusaders was established, a new group had decided that their 3 days of being on the server needed some more excitement. GLM decided to inside The Crusaders with not one, but two spies at once. IRL friends of GlaceonGuy, \_Daddy\_Devito and MINISTER20 contacted eggrolls and asked to join The Crusaders. The pair had only been on the server for less than a couple hours, and had never spoken in chat, so naturally eggrolls accepted. However, the day after \_Daddy\_Devito was brought to Antioch, GLM griefed the base and left signs everywhere to prove their deed. eggrolls was furious - however, the steam-rolled smoothness of his brain prevented him from realizing that he had been insided, despite the grief happening less than 24 hours after giving a new grey coords, and two days later GLM had the coords to The Crusaders next base, Jerusalem. Needless to say, Eggrolls' "IRL leadership skills" as quoted in The Crusaders wiki page had not done as much for him as he'd initially thought, and The Crusaders was disbanded.

Current Predator Level: Comparable to a fully-grown Lion

## A Spooky Story: How eggrolls got into Legion

After the dissolution of The Crusaders, eggrolls was homeless, and was not sure what to do. He asked to join Empire, but Empire didn't let him join because he was annoying and egotistical. He asked to join DB, but DB didn't let him join because he was annoying and egotistical. He asked to join Chadlets, but Chadlets didn't let him join because he was annoying and egotistical. He asked to join Invicta, but Invicta didn't let him join because he was annoying and egotistical. He asked to join EC, but EC didn't let him join because he was annoying and egotistical. He asked to join GLM, but GLM didn't let him join because he was annoying and egotistical. He was going to ask to join BG, but as he clicked on Frazzle53's profile to message him a rancid stench flew up his nostrils, and he decided against that course of action. Finally, he messaged ProFresher, asking to join Legion.

Like any rational human being, ProFresher began to type up an essay on why he fucking despised eggrolls and everything that makes him who he is, but he was cut short. Amidst his rabid bombardment of hatred, ProFresher stopped, and deleted the whole paragraph. You see, in that moment... ProFresher was possessed by an evil spirit! The spirit compelled ProFresher to invite eggrolls into Legion, complete with giving him a full list of their coords. This is the only plausible explanation for a faction accepting eggrollsbro.

Current Predator Level: Godzilla pedo

## What is Smeggy Eggy up to now?

eggrolls has spent his time in Legion primarily creeping on underage girls. If you would like to know more about this, please check out the Dick Cheese article. When he isn't being a full-time creep, he enjoys other pursuits such as making unfunny jokes in chat, building garbage builds such as a skyscraper which is just glass placed hundreds of times in a row with no style or substance, or tricking himself into thinking he has friends. Not long ago, a Legion base got griefed by one RobertDonald - it is assumed that this griefing took place entirely because eggrolls is an obnoxious prick.

Whatever path eggrolls takes next, it is assured that the population of Purity will only grow in their hatred and disgust for him as a person.

Current Predator Level: eggrollsbro