Croissant (croissant-speaks)

((I like how we don't even have a page for croissant it's just right here the first thing you see and it's beautiful))

Now I bet you're wondering what the (fu)ck kind of fandom you're getting yourself into because really?? A croissant??

Well I'm sorry but I'm not just some average croissant you pig. I'm the Croissant Overlord and I'm here to educate you ignorant (fu)cks.

So I guess I'll start by introducing myself.

Hi, I'm the head pastry bitch, Baestry, and I'm the Croissant Overlord. I use feminine pronouns (she/her) and I go by a variety of names wow I really am a pastry. I usually go by Baestry, Baesant, or Croissant, but you could also call me Mer.

I'm known for my goddess-like looks and charming personality my ultimate Sin ships (I'll elaborate on them later), my sarcastic remarks, the terrible puns I make my body is bready, you're toast, bite me, eat me, my smooth flirts, and my unique way of cursing dear God of all that is flakey, golden, and French....

Hungry? Craving some cheese like Plagg or something rich and chocolatey like Tikki? Like buttery breads or all foods French? Message me and I can hook you up with some fresh, flakey croissants! I can get you cheesy croissants, chocolate croissants, buttery croissants, and even croissant sandwiches for all your hungry cravings. I supply food for the Speaks Nation and the mafia and ensure that nobody goes hungry. // #Letadrieneat2k16 // All croissants are free of charge and served with a smile. Please do not suggest or accuse me of eating my brethren and cannibalism. The croissants being served are born and raised for the ritualistic feeding of the Speaks Nation, a performance that I supply the food to, not participate in.

Also, please do not eat me. The only people who are allowed to eat me are my loving spouses, Chattenoirspeakss, Hawkmoththinks, and Princessfragrencespeaks and you know exactly what I mean you sinners. I'll be attending the Speaks Nation Prom with the lovely Chattenoirspeakss, and I'm sure she'll look as lovely there as she did walking down the aisle at our wedding. // Shoutout to Tikki for planning our wedding //

A little more about me: I love chocolate milk and brownies. I'm extremely overprotective slightly protective when it comes to the Broccoli Baby, Peaa // shoutout to her too for letting me fight the anons that upset her the other night //. I like Miraculous Ladybug and it's taking over my life, like I'm seriously obsessed.

Sin ships. I almost forgot about my precious sin ships. There's Adrien x Croissant, also called Adrisant by its shippers. My personal favorite is Chat(te) Noir x Croissant // I mean, have you seen the pictures? //

By now you have hopefully learned something, but you are not done yet smol ones.

For the dough:

1 lb. 2 oz. (4 cups) unbleached all-purpose flour; more for rolling

5 oz. (1/2 cup plus 2 Tbs.) cold water

5 oz. (1/2 cup plus 2 Tbs.) cold whole milk

2 oz. (1/4 cup plus 2 Tbs.) granulated sugar

1-1/2 (3 Tbs.) soft unsalted butter

1 Tbs. plus scant 1/2 tsp. instant yeast

2-1/4 tsp. table salt

For the butter layer:

10 oz. (1-1/4 cups) cold unsalted butter

For the egg wash:

1 large egg

Make the dough:

Combine all the dough ingredients in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a dough hook. Mix on low speed for 3 minutes, scraping the sides of the mixing bowl once is necessary. Mix on medium speed for 3 minutes. Transfer the dough to a lightly floured 10-inch pie pan or a dinner plate. Lightly flour the top of the dough and wrap well with a plastic cover so it doesn't dry out. Refrigerate overnight.

Make the butter layer:

The next day, cut the cold butter lengthwise into 1/2-inch-thick slabs. Arrange the pieces on a piece of parchment or waxed paper to form a 5- to 6-inch square, cutting the butter crosswise as necessary to fit. Top with another piece of parchment or waxed paper. With a rolling pun, pound the butter with light, even strokes. As the pieces begin to adhere, use more force. Pound the butter until it's about 7-1/2 inches square and then trim the edges of the butter. Put the trimmings on top of the square and pound them in lightly with the rolling pin. Refrigerate while you roll out the dough.

Laminate the dough:

Unwrap and lay the dough on a lightly floured work surface. Roll into a 10-1/2 inch square. Brush excess flour off the dough. Remove the butter from the refrigerator--it should be pliable but cold. If not, refrigerate a bit longer.

To be continued.