Morris Muskrat

Morris Muskrat was an American political commentator who made a name for himself by his views on The World Skate Board Trade.

## Morris Muskrat

### Aliases

The one guy who was killed by Chuckee Cheese

### Occupation

Political Commentator, Conspiracy Theorist

## Biographical information

### Place of death

Chuckee Chuckee Cheese´s Deep Fried Kiddo Fingers™ headquarters

## Physical description

### **Early Life**

Morris Muskrat was among the first boomers. He was born in Skateboard-istan but at age 3 his family moved to America after a terrible skateboard coup. He grew up in Ohio City and attended Ohio City High School. At age 16 he saw the first attack on the school. His best friend, Warmongering Woodrat was shot in 3 places and died a few months later from a phenomenon known as hospital boredom. Which is a condition in which a patient would much rather be dead then sit in bed all day.

Morris muskrat then attended Clapper College and got a degree in history. He then became a political commentator, mainly talking about topics that weren't part of his history class.

### **Books**

Morris wrote many books, mostly about the dangers of Skateboardism, a political ideology that advocates for the right to paddle your children with Skateboards. His first book on the subject was; Did you know skateboards hurt when you fall off of them?

The book discussed the topic of skateboard injuries and his own personal experiences in Skateboard-istan. Despite only being 3 when he left he had quite the story to tell. He described an account with extreme clarity. It was when he was 2 and he witness a terrible skateboard wreck. It was when 5 drunk idiots came through a junction (In Skateboard-istan they have 5-way junctions). 3 people died.

He wrote another book called; We should paddle our kids with something harder than skateboards.

The book talked about the issues with physical punishment, and how there isn't enough. "I personally think everyone should be booted with a brick. I was. Whenever I was naughty my parents had a sac of bricks they'd hit me with. That's the secret to success. If I hadn't been 'bricked' I doubt I would have survived the 1963 Ohio City High School shooting."

That was a direct excerpt from the book.

Morris wrote 23 other books that weren't mentioned here.

### **Radio Programs**

Now you may not know this but back then people didn't have podcasts, so they had Radio Programs. Morris started one called 'Radio-free Ideology.' Which discussed modern problems with skateboards today. One day he said a racial slur directed at an ethnic group in Skateboard-istan known as CAPARKS. He used the slur inchies, which is directed at the amount of inches their skateboards typically have.

Morris later apologized; "I'm so sorry. I was unaware there were any Inchies in MY audience, go back to Skateboard-istan!"

### **Death**

While his racist words may have harmed his reputation, it did not result in death. His death was at a press conference with a man named Chuckee Cheese. It was centered around his book called "Why we should throw kids on the front lines unarmed™." He asked the question "Sir, do you really think that 5 year olds should be pregnant?" Chuckee yelled multiple racial slurs then took out an aug A3 and opened fire. It was all over for poor Morris.