Episode 33: Back to Basics

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

What is meaning? What is the true nature of language? Suppose a complication in your life and you need a solution: Lets get back to basics. First question: do I have the ability to manipulate time? Second question: can I safely transport ancient bodily fluids?

Okay, Lets get back to basics.

## Idea Details

* Idea: Back to Basics
* Creator of idea: Josiah
* Purpose of idea: Drew, we need to talk, and this is something that's been on my heart for a long time that we need to talk about is that I think when we started Globe Hell Warning Podcast so many years ago, and kinda spent so long researching and developing this show for the plan of to become the next Canadian voices on left American left, we wanted to sort of a north perspective on left or west. Let me think about this. We're in Canada, which is north; we're talking about America, which is south; and we're doing kind of a left spin on it so that's kind of west. (Drew: "So we're westist?") I think so. (Drew: "I don't like this. I don't like the - I don't like how that - I don't like the sound of that.") What I'm trying to say is that - even things like that are kind of my point, is that we've kind of lost sight of why we're here. The point, whether it's westist or leftist or whateverist you wanna call it, just don't call me late for dinner is what I've always said is call me whatever you want but don't call me - call me by your name if you want, I don't give a fuck, but don't call me late for dinner is - (Drew: "I'd call you - so I'd be calling you Drew?") If you - that's my point, stop distracting me! Please. My point is that we've lost the plot of what we're here to do, which is to change the world one change at a time. Do you agree? (Drew: "You mean like getting back to simple ideas like World Wide Train?") We need to - every week, we're talking - especially I've noticed, we keep talking - oh, we're talking about Cruella De Vil, we're talking about corporations every week, we're talking about big media properties, we're talking about comedy and entertainment and Andy Warhol, and all this stuff, and it's like we need to get back to - we need to remember what we're here to do to do to here. (Drew: "We're talkin about polishin our packets.") Yeah, none of that stuff, Drew. (Drew: "It's not relevant anymore. Cause our world's dying.") We need - this is what we need to do. We need to get Back to Basics. And so that's the subject today: Back to Basics. We're gonna go Back to Basics.
* Timetable: Josiah and Drew got Back to Basics in the episode.
* Idea details:
	+ Josiah and Drew get Back to Basics.
	+ Josiah and Drew both closed their eyes and thought back to a time before Globe Hell Warning, back in 2018. Drew envisioned the world back then and described his surroundings, saying they were pretty much the same and he was at his computer desk staring at a screen, which was his background that said 'I just want to drink coffee, create stuff, and sleep'.
	+ Josiah and Drew went back further and traveled through time to the year 2010, when Drew was only 16 years old. Drew described his surroundings as scary and dark, in some place he was unfamiliar with, and he couldn't see much but could feel it was hostile, and it was cold and he was touching rock in a cave or something, and a piece of stone was vibrating, and he moved towards the stone and placed his hands on the stone, and as he touched the stone a wave overcame his body and he started thinking of all these different ideas and creative and cool things he could do. Then he awoke in his bed and realized he was just having a dream. Doing this unlocked the bell, so he and Josiah went further back.
	+ Josiah and Drew went back further and traveled through time to Drew's first day in high school. He said hi to everybody in the hallways and hadn't even thought of sardonic leftist comedy yet and had 3rd period Social Studies next, wherein he would sit in the back and become the class clown. Doing so unleashed the bell, so he and Josiah went further Back to Basics.
	+ Josiah and Drew went back further and traveled through time to when they were both young children. They vowed to use their child-like energy to make leftism jokes about politics as long as they remembered who they were then as little boys and remembered the friendship that they shared. At this, the Josiah from the future told him that they needed to keep traveling backwards because they still had not gone Back to Basics enough.
	+ Josiah and Drew held hands and traveled back in time further to when they were both crying babies.
	+ Josiah and Drew traveled back in time further and saw Drew in an ultrasound in the womb. The sounds Drew made in the womb sounded like a choo-choo train. At this, it was known that Drew's truth is that it is train.
	+ Josiah and Drew then found that they could go even further back in time to when Drew was a spermy and he was swimming around and there were all these other people racing him to get to the egg and the egg is shaped like globe, the globe is womb globe, and he was chasing against the other leftist Canadian comedians who were trying to become what he was becoming, and he was chasing them and he had to determine what he was gonna do to make sure he hit that globe egg. Drew decided to hit the globe egg from the back. He then spoke as if he was the sperm. Josiah then asked Sperm Drew if he wanted to go further back in time.
	+ Josiah and Drew traveled back in time to the Big Bang and heard what it sounded like.
	+ Josiah and Drew traveled forward in time a little bit to when dinosaurs roamed. They had to stay close and not be afraid since they had each other. Drew drank some water that a brachiosaurus was splashing around in. The water was filled with dinosaur cum and shit. After drinking the water, Drew became long and got ripped, describing the sensation as being able to feel the dinosaur cum surging through his body, and making him so powerful that his only hunger was for more, and he vowed to get it by any means necessary as his goal, describing himself as a long god. A T-rex interrupted their conversation but Drew protected Josiah from it because he was long enough to safely battle it. In doing so, he got some of its cum and became even longer, so long that he was able to easily stomp on T-rexes. At this, he asked Josiah if they could bring some of the dinosaur cum to the future with them in Josiah's time travel device, but Josiah revealed that he lost the time travel device. He thought he left it over by some rocks but they were surrounded by dinos. The Geico caveman was nearby and called them over to talk. He was after the dinosaur cum as well, so Drew endeavored to kill him with his long hands. Josiah suggested that they instead try to teach the dinosaurs about leftism because if they could teach them then they could teach the people of the future about it. Josiah talked to the dinosaurs about Trump and how he is bad and how he is cringe, but how it could be lucrative to talk about it. Drew talked to the dinosaurs about Twitch and YouTube channels and how Twitch channels that watch YouTube are good, but Twitch channels that browse Twitter are bad. Brachiosaurus nodded at this. Josiah talked about both good and bad Trump impressionists and how Jon Stewart will get fired and replaced with Trevor Noah, who sets the new benchmark in skewing the news. He then went on to say Donald Trump is eventually defeated by Joel Biden, but explained that that is why they were stuck in their future loop and why they wanted to come Back to Basics to learn how to become sardonic leftist podcasters who will become rich and famous and if they could have their cum. Then the dinosaurs all nutted at the same time, giving Josiah and Drew their cum.
	+ With this, Josiah and Drew had learned how to get Back to Basics, but they then realized a rogue gang of Karens had also used a different time machine and came back to attack them and to gatekeep the dinosaur community. Josiah and Drew accepted their fate to live there with the cavemen women and the Karens, learning that perhaps the real lesson was that they didn't need to live in the future, where they would have to deal with the stresses of comedy and podcasting. Drew pointed out that, actually, they could still do comedy there by telling jokes to the dinosaurs and the cavemen and the Karens. Josiah noticed that one of the Karens had already started her own comedy scene there. Josiah and Drew started telling jokes back and forth and worked on their comedy, realizing they could take the lessons from when they were children by not tearing each other down all the time.
	+ Then Josiah and Drew went to the dinosaur comedy club and listened to a dinosaur bomb on stage. Josiah put Drew's name in to go up next. He gave a middling performance that was interrupted when a dinosaur attacked the club.

## Notable Events

* Drew revealed his biggest fears are as follows:
	1. That he's going to be alone for the rest of his life.
	2. Constant feeling of anxiousness that he's done something wrong and something terrible's gonna happen; constant feeling of dread.
	3. That his loved ones are going to turn on him.
* Josiah and Drew discussed Cruella de Vil.
* Josiah and Drew listen to a piano cover of *Cruella De Vil*.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Back to Basics: Simplify and Streamline" about weight loss and Isagenix.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video of two English men talking about coffee.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about back to basics.
* Josiah and Drew watched an ASMR video talking about going back to basics.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Going Back to, Basic English Pronunciation e01" about going back to basics English pronunciation.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about going back to basics of English.
* Josiah and Drew listened to mouth sounds.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about getting back to basics with water collection and sanitation.
* Josiah and Drew discussed ideas of fame and getting back to basics.
* Josiah and Drew listened to *Back to Basics* by Dub FX featuring Cade.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "THE MUSCLES SONG (Learn in 3 Minutes!)".
* Josiah and Drew watched an Allstate commercial.
* Drew revealed he was 16 years old in 2010.
* Josiah and Drew listened to young children playing.
* Josiah and Drew listened to a baby crying.
* Josiah and Drew listened to the Big Bang.
* Josiah and Drew went to a dinosaur comedy club. Drew got on stage to tell jokes but his performance was cut short when a dinosaur attacked the club.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "The personal is the polintical."
* "Let me think about this. We're in Canada, which is north; we're talking about America, which is south; and we're doing kind of a left spin on it so that's kind of west."
* "We need to go Back to Basics."
* "We need to simplify what we're doing and get rid of the ego. We need to get rid of the self and become only purely the ideas."
* "Dwew? Dwew, is that you?"
* "Dwew, I wike your backpack, what is it?"
* "Teachew, Dwew said bad wowd!"
* "Dwew, why you smoke cigarette?"
* "Do you wanna go pway outside wif me?"
* "Dwew, dese awe some of the most fowmative yeaws of ouw wives. One dayw, we wiww use ouw chiwd-like enewgy to make weftism jokes about powitics. We just need to wemembew who we awe wight now as wittle boys and wemembew this fwiendship that we shawe. But the me fwom the futuwe is tewwing me, that we need to keep travewing backwawds because we stiww have not gone Back to Basics enough."
* "Wahhhhh!"
* "[On the topic of Drew being a sperm] And you're swimming around and there's all these other people racing you to get to the egg and the egg is shaped like globe, the globe is womb globe, and you're chasing against the other leftist Canadian comedians who are trying to become what you are becoming, and you're chasing them and you're now - you're now - what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do to make sure you hit that egg? The globe egg. The egg is the gl- do you get what I'm saying? You're the sperm and you're trying to hit that globe egg."
* "I want you to pretend that you are a sperm. I want you to talk like what you think a sperm would talk like."
* "No, but it might be full of dinosaur cum and shit, but I think that's fine - that's - pretty sure that's fine. I think it's good for you, actually."
* "[On the topic of drinking dinosaur cum] Save me a drop. I don't wanna become too long."
* "Let's talk to these dinosaurs, let's tell them what we know. About how, in the future, there will be someone named Trump and he'll be really cringe, and he'll do really bad things but he'll be so cringe about it that it'll become something that you could really have a lucrative time with that. They're listening, I think. They're calming down a little bit!"
* "It worked! They all nutted at the same time."
* "So here's the problem, Drew. We've learned what we need to do. We've learned how to get Back to Basics, but unfortunately our time travel machine is being guarded and I don't know what we're supposed to do. Well, turns out, and you like to joke about this with me, but it turns out that, also using a different time machine was a whole bunch of Karens, and there's a rogue gang of Karens that have attacked us in the dinosaur realm. So I don't know what we're supposed to do, because they're - she's blocking us in. She's trying to gatekeep the dinosaur community."
* "[Whispering a suggestion to Drew during his stand-up set at the dinosaur comedy club] Drew, you should tell a joke. Drew, tell a joke! It's getting - they're dying out there! Booo."

### Drew

* "There's a bell ringing. There's a bell."
* "[In response to Josiah's question about what the bell is] I don't know, it's gone now. There was just a small bell there. It's not there anymore. That doesn't happen to you? Small bells don't just appear in front of you and then disappear? Does that not happen to you?"
* "So we're westist? I don't like this. I don't like the - I don't like how that - I don't like the sound of that."
* "We're talkin about polishin our packets."
* "We need to go Back to Basics."
* "In times of life crisis, whether wildfires or smoldering stress, the first thing I do is to get - is to go Back to Basics. Am I eating right? Am I getting enough sleep? Am I getting some physical and mental exercise every day? Going Back to the Basics strengthens your foundation. Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple. Riding a bicycle is about getting Back to Basics. It's good for the waistline and it's good for the wallet, is what I'm saying."
* "Back to Basics: 1. Value people who value you. Stay happy and keep smiling. Have patience. Ignore unwanted people. Money is motivation. Face the reality. Life is simple, don't complicate. Forgive. We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."
* "[Talking to high schoolers] Hey, you know only one - one - one uh thing that George W. Bush is interested in over there, it's not weapons of mass destruction, it's oil."
* "Keep youw fucking hands off the backpack, piece of shit!"
* "Hey, fuck off!"
* "It's funny when kids do bad things."
* "Do you wanna pway horsey-back piggie-back?"
* "Wahhhhh!"
* "Wahhhhh I'm a little baby!"
* "This is what it's like to be a sperm?"
* "[On the topic of being a sperm and hitting the globe egg] Well I'm gonna have to hit it from - hit it from the back."
* "[Sperm Drew] Brrra! Brra! Brra! Brrra! Brrrra! Brr! Brra! Brrra! Brra! Brrra!"
* "God really went off when he created the universe."
* "[On the topic of drinking water that a brachiosaurus was splashing around in] Oh my God, it hasn't been corrupted by corporations yet?"
* "Ohh Josiah. I can feel it, Josiah. I can feel the dinosaur cum surging through my body, it's making me so powerful and my only hunger now is for more, and I will get it by any means necessary, Josiah, this is my goal. Now that we've discovered how to create - how to turn a man into a long god, simply by -"
* "[While fighting a T-rex as a long god] Josiah, I'm gonna try and get some of its cum while I'm down here, all right?"
* "Look, Josiah, I'm growing! I'm getting even longer!"
* "He's after their cum too!"
* "And can we have your cum. It's very good for us humans. Please, benevolent dinosaurs."
* "She's - it's a Karen!"
* "I could live here with the cavemen women. And the Karens."
* "Some Karens are beautiful."
* "What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? A Tyrannosaurus 'wreck'."
* "[At the dinosaur comedy club] Why wouldn't they use hybrid animals for this?"
* "Hey everybody, how you doin' tonight, hope you're doin' a good night. Hey! Hey where you uh - you with the three horns, where you from? You into uhh threeways? Oh! Hey, hey. Oh good crowd tonight, good crowd tonight, all right, all right, all right. You guys uh - you guys - you guys are great, mkay. Aha! No, absolutely. Let's have fun! Okay. Now - well don't you fucking interrupt me. Um. You know, I was uh, I was rolling a boulder around the other day and I see this - I see this - I see this wooly mammoth, right? And - this wooly mammoth - this wooly mammoth, it's incredible, this wooly mammoth is essentially incredibly fluffy, and I'm looking at this wooly mammoth and I'm thinkin, 'If there's one thing I wanna do today, I do not give a sh- S-H-I-T about this boulder right now, all right? The one thing I care about is gettin up to this wooly mammoth and I wanna s- I wanna plant a great big kiss on him! Now I was down by the swamp, I was hanging out by the swamp the other night, I was hanging out by the swamp the other night, and I saw a giant -"

## Trivia

* A small bell can be heard ringing multiple times throughout the episode.