Mine Sweeper

#### *Co-Authors*

**The Goblin Removal of the Northern Mines** was conducted by the following individuals:

* Alton, the Warlock
* Egg, the Artificer
* Muk, the Cleric
* Radavel, the Paladin
* Spenser, the Monk
* Torva, the Bard

#### *Methodology*

Our team of adventurers set off from Haven with a mission: clear the Northern Mines of the goblin infestation. We made preparations accordingly:

* Torva brought pumpkin ale laced with an herb that puts the consumer into a deep sleep;
* Alton went to KrOgre to pick up some rotting narwolf meat to create a stew; and
* I (Egg) brought an apple to Apple Hoof just to say hi.

We then traveled north to the Northern Mines, though Muk, Radavel, and I (Egg) had already explored the mines once before. Following our initial exploration of the mines, the goblins we discovered there had taken back ground, at least partially due to the fact that we helped clear the area of other hostile creatures. The goblin infestation forced out the miners sent from Haven, but not before Muk had helped build a simple elevator from the mine entrance to the main level.

To break into the mines, we developed a plan. Torva and Alton created a rotting narwolf stew laced with herb to lure the goblins outside the mine and put them to sleep. We set the trap outside the entrance in a fake campsite. Knowing that these goblins are good with traps, we discovered an alarm trigger at the elevator Muk built. We purposely set off the alarm to lure the goblins outside to the stew. Three goblins emerged; one ate the stew and fell asleep while two others saved the stew and took the sleeping goblin back into the mine. We hastily followed and dispatched/killed two goblins. While deciding what to do with the sleeping goblin, he died. Left with concerns regarding how to break into the mines, and fast, I (Egg) disguised myself as the sleeping goblin. All of us piled onto the elevator covered in fake blood. Torva pretended to be my prisoner, and we descended on the elevator.

At the main level, we were met with two other goblins. Our ruse was successful enough, but when Torva tried to use a divination spell, *comprehend languages*, to spy on the goblins, the spell failed to work. **Divination magics do not work on the Lost Continent** (yet). We were forced to move on without a plan, and the leader goblin took Torva and me down the hall where he sewed a gold coin into my skin, indicating that I (Egg), still disguised as the sleeping goblin, had reached a milestone in goblin culture by "killing" and "capturing" several foe. Without any knowledge of their language or any other special skills to continue the ruse, I attacked the goblin. Torva and I began to engage in battle as our comrades, seeing the green light from my *gween fwame bwade*, rushed to join us.

#### *Results*

Following the first battle, we engaged in several other battles (summary below). During our downtime, I (Egg) sketched out a map of the main level of the mines (see Figure 1).

First, we engaged in a fiery battle:

* The goblins learned from Rad, Shae, and me in our first mine exploration that oil is combustible;
* I (Egg) walked through the fire and let it buuuuuuuuurn;
* Torva got alcohol poisoning after drinking an entire waterskin of whiskey and achieved "Dragon Con drunk";
* Alton tested the very limits of *mage hand*;
* Spenser recalled that water is bad for grease fires and put out flames with sand;
* Muk channeled a hero from his youth (Legos Loss?) and skated through the flames looking really cool;
* Rad saved my (Egg's) life.

Then, we rested, only to discover that everything about these goblins is a trap:

* During a short rest, the goblins rigged boulders to rain down on us, but Muk and Radavel safely released the boulders;
* Rad disarmed a barricade that was triggered to release a spiked log.

In our penultimate battle, we engaged with several goblins in the mine hallways:

* Though most goblins appear to be melee or ranged weapon attackers, we were met with a fearsome goblin mage equipped with a deadly spell, *magic missile*, which nearly killed me (Egg) for the second time;
* Spenser used *furry of blows* to utterly destroy a goblin;
* Alton ate a piece of the goblin known to us as *Succulent*, and indeed, Alton found his flesh to be decadent;
* After killing the mage goblin, Muk took a necklace from him made of dwarven knuckle bones that had the ability to protect a spellcaster from the effects of poor concentration;
* I (Egg) took the goblin mage's stash of maps that revealed a castle connected to the mines as well as a distant lake (see Figure 2).

Finally, with few resources to spare and many wounds, we chased the goblins back to their stronghold, a tower leading to an elevator going up. In our previous mining exploration, we stopped here, worried about the strong position of many goblins equipped with crossbows. However, now with Torva at our side, we used *thunderwave* to destabilize the area. Boulders fell, and the area caved in, sealing the tower, and the goblins, off from the mines. We grabbed a few bear traps from the mines and returned to Haven.

#### *Discussion*

This was my (Egg's) toughest mission yet. I, a teen, pretended to be drunk. I nearly died twice. I am increasingly grateful for the friendship and bravery of my adventuring comrades.

Future mine explorations should seek to locate the other mine entrances - particularly the castle seen in the map discovered on the goblin mage (Figure 2).

### **Alton's Footnotes of Flavor(less)**

Absolutely nothing worth eating found on this trip. How very disappointing. I did make a great/gross stew that we used to trick the Goblins into eating and at least one of they liked it so much they ate it and were poisoned by the sleeping herbs. So that was a win I guess; though being know for cooking good Goblin grub is akin to being the best dressed at a Orcish dance. Not much was found to eat at all in mines, even the Goblins themselves didn't seem to have much food on them....Despite what some vicious rumors have said, I did not in-fact, try to eat any dirty Goblin meat. That's just gross, why would they make up such damnedable lies about me? Must be jealous that my cooking helping kill some Goblins. I will admit that I was soo hungry that I may have thought one of those beasts looked like a cheap cut of easy meat, but even if I did try a tiny bite I would have spit it out as rancid. That is just gross to think of ..eating..those morsels of Goblin meaty flesh. ..

I'll hear NO MORE of those outrageous lies about me and my palate.