Roland Thunder/Roland's Origins Report

## Top Story Headline

Detective Joey Salami releases his report on WWW anchorman and hatchling, Roland Thunder. Rolands father was the one and only divine-tornado-turned-rooster, ThunderCluck! His mother was a reptilian egg who was wind-whipped into the sky to be married amongst the clouds. Roland was conceived in an earth-shattering storm and incubated in the Rincon de la Vieja volcano. Rolands background suggest the existence of dormant powers within him, despite his current role as a humble weatherman.

## Special Report #1

Clip: https://clips.twitch.tv/TrappedUgliestSandpiperBCouch-iuuHcJil10b2gyt-

G'day gumshoes! Detective Joey Salami here, the world's best detective with unconventional problem-solving. Today I'm releasing my report on a case that'll ruffle your feathers. The case of anchorman and hatchling, Roland Thunder. Roland comes from quite a famous lineage, it turns out. His father is none other than the divine tornado turned rooster, ThunderCluck! After months of investigation and digging deep into his past, hunting every lead into the jungle, I can confirm this is the truth. My investigation has also uncovered some shocking discoveries regarding the infamous hatchling incident that occurred during Roland's childhood. While there were initially suspicions that ThunderCluck may have been involved  with Hennie “The Hammer“ Hopkins on the chicken coop wrestling circuit, resulting in the hatching of multiple eggs at once and one very confused hatchling named Roberta - I can confirm that these suspicions are false, gumshoe. Complete fabrication. Despite being full of hot air (quite literally), ThunderCluck was always an upstanding member of divine society as a tornado and continued his good reputation into roosterhood. So there you have it gumshoes - the first piece of the puzzle. We will be digging in more in my next report.

## Special Report #2

G'day gumshoes! Detective Joey Salami here with breaking news on a case that's sure to have you clucking with excitement. That's right, we're talking about none other than Roland Thunder and his divine lineage. After months of investigation, I am proud to present my special report on the ancestry of this WWW anchorman and hatchling. We know that Roland's father is none other than ThunderCluck - the legendary divine-tornado-turned-rooster himself! But wait, folks, it gets even more egg-citing. Roland's mother, it turns out was an egg just like him. But she was no ordinary egg - she was a reptilian egg who was whisked away by the winds into the sky to be wedded amongst the clouds. And it was during an earth-shattering storm, pictured here, that young Roland was conceived. Now I know what you may be thinking: how does someone with such a unique heritage end up in front of a camera as an anchorman? Well folks, let me tell you - Roland has been hatching plans and breaking stories since he was just a chick. Find out more in my next report.

## Special Report #3

Alright gumshoes, here i am. My investigation determined that Roland Thunder was incubated right inside Costa Rica's own Rincon de la Vieja volcano. That's right gumshoe, he was warmed in a fiery inferno deep beneath the earth's surface. Now, I don't know about you all, but when I hear something like that it makes my mustache curl with curiosity. If i had a mustache. But ask yourself what did I do when i got this lead? Well, I packed up my trusty magnifying glass and hopped on the first plane to Costa Rica to investigate this spicy scoop myself. And let me tell you folks, it wasn't easy getting into that volcano. For starters, my fedora kept blowing off in the wind (you try catching a hat when you're dangling over a burning lake of lava). But once I made it down there...wow. The heat was intense enough to melt your gold fillings, but there was something about that primal energy that called out to me. And sure enough, after hours of sifting through ash and obsidian shards, I found what I was looking for - undeniable evidence that Mr. Thunder had indeed originated from this very spot. His cracked and broken eggshell. So there you have it ladies and gents - another case solved by yours truly, Detective Joey Salami. And as for Roland Thunder... he can certainly stand the heat.

## Special Report #4

Clip: https://clips.twitch.tv/ExquisiteZealousDogPogChamp-kCoLnyutDyaKeuOJ

G'day there, gumshoes. Detective Joey Salami here, bringing you the latest on Roland Thunder. After extensive investigation and some unconventional problem-solving, I have come to the conclusion of my report about this enigmatic man. Throughout his youth, Roland was raised by his father on the outskirts of the volcano. His father was more rooster than thunder god by this point in Rolands life. Roland had a happy little hatching childhood and grew to have a love of mother nature. But due to Rolands lineage, I believe that he may possess untapped powers. What those powers might be, i can't say for certain - but given his unique upbringing, anything is possible. There you have it, gumshoes. Detective Joey Salami is officially off the case. No idea what I will do with myself now... Crikey!