"Our Daughter Melissa Wants To Play With You!"

BONE-JOUR Kiddies.  Would you SCARE for a bowl of FRENCH ONION GOOP?  Oh good!  I learned how to cook it on my trip to SLAY PARIS aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.  I also picked up a second REVOLTING-RECIPE, about a man who meets the NEIGHBORHOOD GHOUL I mean GIRL who ends up wanting to play.  I name it...

On a sunny afternoon back in June of 1957, a man painted his house outside in a neighborhood over in a suburb of Trenton, New Jersey.  He whistled Danny Boy as he painted the side of his house red, standing on a ladder.  A young girl was jumping rope on the sidewalk and then walked over to him.  "Hia mister, my name is Melissa.  My Mama, Daddy and I just moved into the house over there!" she introduced herself to the man as, explained and pointed to the home across the street.  "Oh hello Melissa.  My name is Wallace.  It's a pleasure to meet you sweetheart.  Welcome to the neighborhood.  It is very nice here" the man looked down at her, introducing himself to her and telling her, with a smile.  "That's a pretty color Wallace" Melissa said to him, admiration the red paint.  "Thank you Melissa dear" Wallace answered in reply.  Early that evening, a young man rang Wallace's doorbell and Wallace answered it.  "Hello there, Wallace.  My Daughter Melissa told me your name sir.  Mine is Gregory Perkins" the young man said to Wallace, introducing himself as.  "Oh, hello sir.  Nice to meet you and your Daughter.  She is a sweetheart" Wallace answered him, shaking his hand.  "Thank you.  My Wife Fern and I wanted to invite you over to our cookout tonight, Wallace" Gregory Perkins invited him.  "Gee, thanks, that would be fun Mr. Perkins" he thanked him.  "Just call me Greg" Gregory Perkins added, saying.  "Alright Greg" Wallace smiled, saying.

Eight minutes later, Wallace walked into Melissa's brand new backyard, where she, Gregory and a young lady stood by a grill.  "Good evening Greg" Wallace called out, waving.  "Wallace hi.  This is my Wife Fern.  Honey, this is Wallace our brand new Neighbor from across the street" Gregory Perkins called back, waving, then introduced him and his wife to each other.  "Hello, Wallace, pleased to meet you" Fern spoke to him, shaking his hand.  "Thank you Mrs. Perkins welcome to the neighborhood here" Wallace welcomed her.  "Thank you sir" Mrs. Fern Perkins said, smiling.  "Hi Wallace" Melissa said.  "Hello Melissa dear" he said, smiling down at her.  Five days later, Wallace was out, on his front porch, drinking a bottle of gin in a chair.  Melissa played with her jump-rope on his side of the neighborhood and he called out to her: "hi Melissa, how about a batch of cookies for you and your Mommy and Daddy?".  "Hi Wallace.  Sure please sir" Melissa ran over to his porch, calling back.  "Alright sweetheart.  I love to bake and they're fresh and tasty too.  Come on in" Wallace got up from his chair, telling her and she walked into his house with him then.  That evening, a cop rang Wallace's doorbell and Wallace answered it.  "Good evening, Mr. Reynolds.  Your Neighbors Mr. and Mrs. Perkins called and filed a report that their Daughter Melissa went missing unfortunately earlier today sir" the cop explained to him.  "Oh, good evening officer.  That's awful.  Melissa is a very sweet girl" Wallace Reynolds answered.  "Did you happen to see her anytime today at all?" the cop inquired of him.  "I did see her jumping rope like usual outside here sir, but that's all" he answered, replying.  "Thank you Mr. Reynolds sir.  Have a nice evening" the cop smiled, telling him.  "Thank you officer you too" Wallace replied and closed his front door.  He walked through his living room into his kitchen where he saw Melissa sitting at his table with her back to him.  "Melissa, have some more of my cookies please" Wallace told her.  She kept mysteriously quiet not moving at all in the chair, as Wallace Reynolds watched the back of her.

Wallace went upstairs to the bathroom and his bathtub was full of acid.  "Ah, Melissa left my towels on the floor!" he said to himself, picking two towels up.  When he got out of the bathroom, he called down the stairs, "Melissa sweetheart, you forgot to pick up my towels when you were done with your bath".  Wallace then heard the front door open and shut.  He rushed downstairs, finding Melissa gone when he looked in the kitchen.  Wallace stepped out, onto his porch, lighting a cigarette, and smoked.  He heard a woman scream.  It came from Melissa's home across the street.  As Wallace smoked, he soon saw Gregory and Fern Perkins come quickly across the road to him.  "YOU KILLED MELISSA, WALLACE REYNOLDS!!!!" they shouted at him, angrily.  "What I gave her cookies and a bath was all.  The acid in my bathtub burned her skin off.  I hope she enjoyed it.  I had to dunk her underwater to get her completely clean" he insanely said in response.  "YOU IDIOT YOU JERK MURDERER!  At least she came back to us!" Fern and Gregory screamed at him.  Melissa stepped out from behind them.  Wallace looked down at the skeleton she had become, with her white dress on and her long, straight blonde hair, her skull grinning up at him.  "Hi Wallace!" Melissa's zombie uttered, a piece of flesh falling from her jawbone.  "Our Daughter Melissa wants to play with you!" Fern and Gregory Perkins angrily said to Wallace.  The acid-soaked skeleton of Melissa began singing "I'm A Little Teapot", coming for Wallace, as her skull cracked down the middle.  "NO NO NOOOOO!!!!!" Wallace screamed in horror, as the small skeleton of the girl picked up a teapot on his porch with her boney-hands.  "NO NOT THAT TEAPOT MELISSA!" Wallace Reynolds screamed, falling.  As the zombie sang, she poured acid out of the teapot, into his quivering-mouth, causing him to swallow his cigarette.  As Wallace choked, the acid burned his tongue and he was killed.

Talk about getting ALL CHOKED-UP over a visit from your NEIGH-BOOS.  Poor Melissa sure learned how to POUR ON THE HORROR with Wallace eh kids?  They had every FRIGHT to be TEA-D OFF at him.  She sure SLAYED WITH HIM and had SKELETONS OF FUN hee-hee-hee-hee!