Gay men

*This article is about men who are gay. For any person attracted to their own gender, see Gay.*

## Gay men

### Alternative name

* Homosexual men (controversial)
* Various historic and current proposed alternatives

### Classification

Sexual orientation and/or romantic orientation

## Related terms

### Different from

Achillean

**Gay men** are men with an enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction to other men. This article is separated from that of the umbrella term gay to focus specifically on this combined sexual orientation and gender due to the extensively documented culture and history of gay men.

## Etymology

By the 1960s, gay men had taken to the term "gay" to refer to their own sexual identity, and by today's standards, it is the acceptable way to refer to homosexual men.

The term "uranian" was once used to describe gay men. It was coined by Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, who used the term in this context in his collection, *Forschungen über das Räthsel der mannmännlichen Liebe*. However, uranian became associated with paederastic poetry between the 1870s and 1930s, with "paederastic" meaning "relationships between adult men and pubescent or adolescent boys". Uranian is now considered a problematic term for gay man.

Vincian is one of the more modern proposed terms. It was derived from Leonardo da Vinci by the Tumblr user bivirgil in June 2018, who wanted to create a term and a flag for gay men that would be distinct from the umbrella term Achillean. It has been called a male equivalent to lesbian since at least June 27th, 2021.

## Community

### History

#### During the Nazi regime 1933-1945

Gay men were specifically targeted by the Nazis. At certain concentration camps, gay men had a downward-pointing pink triangle sewn onto their shirts. It was not until the 1970s that the symbol was reclaimed as a symbol of gay pride.

### Gay subcultures

#### Bears

Main article: Bear

One of the many long-standing gay subcultures, a **bear** in an LGBTQIA+ context is a large, hairy queer man who self-identifies with the 'bear' label. Being a bear combines gender expression, gender identity, and sexuality; a large, hairy straight man would not be a bear. They are generally masculine-presenting men over the age of 30 whose build may include a big belly, legs, and/or butt. Bears almost always have a full beard or facial hair, and they are often associated with so-called "traditional masculinity" or "rugged masculinity". However, there is a debate within the bear community regarding the acceptability of femininity; they tend to be contrasted with identities such as twinks and femmes. Although bears are implicitly masculine people, being a bear is not about specific mannerisms or identities like "masc", and bear identity does not indicate preferred partners or sexual roles.

#### Twinks

Main article: Twink

**Twink** is a subcultural term referring to **gay** or bi men who defy traditional masculine roles, embracing traits that are generally seen as feminine.

Twinks are typically associated with a few key tropes: general physical attractiveness, a slim build, and a youthful appearance that lacks facial hair and often body hair as well. In his book *Never Enough* (2007), Joe McGinniss describes a court case in which **twink** was defined as "*a gay slang term used to denote an attractive, boyish-looking gay man between the ages of 18 and 23, slender ectomorph and with little or no body hair, often blond, often but not necessarily Caucasian.*"

### Flag

The modern gay men's pride flag was posted in 2019 on the Tumblr blog gayflagblog as an update of a prior gay men flag. It features an array of green, blue, and purple shades to be representative of a wide range of gay men, regardless of their gender, thus also including, but not being limited to, gay men who are transgender, non-binary, gender non-conforming, aromantic, or asexual. This version replaced the original one that only used blue tones, as it was regarded as a stereotypical representation of the gender binary and lacked meaning for the colors used. Inspired by Gilbert Baker and the responses to the blue flag, the individual stripes used by gayflagblog mean:

* **Green:** Community
* **Teal:** Healing
* **Light teal/green:** Joy
* **White:** Gender non-conforming, non-binary, and trans men
* **Light blue:** Pure love
* **Purple:** Fortitude
* **Indigo:** Diversity

The combination of green and teal also represents nature, in defiance of the perception of love between men as "unnatural". Green also draws upon the use of green plants and flowers, specifically carnations and hyacinths. The use of white was derived from the Trans Pride Flag to explicitly represent identities that are often erased and the need to address and resolve transphobia, internalized homophobia, and toxic masculinity. The light blue leading into purple was inspired by criticism of the blue flag ("oh blue for boy? bleh") and symbolizes how gay men may or may not be stereotypical, in-between, or fluid. The purple and indigo together represent diversity in presentation, relationships, and life experience; not fitting into neat categories, "especially by those who choose to fetishize us & by non-MLM, but in reality there are so so many different ways to be a man and so many ways to be a man who loves or who is in a relationship with other men, and this needs to be emphasized".

### Controversy

#### The term homosexual

There has been controversy surrounding the use of the word "homosexual" to refer to gay people, as it has been considered an outdated term that is derogatory and offensive to many lesbian and gay people.

### Perceptions and discrimination

#### Domestic violence

Studies at Johns Hopkins reveal that men who are in romantic relationships with men are just as likely to face domestic abuse as women in romantic relationships with men. The same factors of manipulation and control can exist, but one form of abuse not present in woman/man relationships is threatening to "out" the victim to their family, friends, and co-workers. When that occurs, the victim may not seek help because they fear that revealing their sexual orientation to others will put them in even greater danger than their partner does.

## Media

### Comic books

* Bobby Drake (Iceman) from Marvel Comics
* Jean-Paul Beaubier (Northstar) and Kyle Jinadu from Marvel Comics
* Billy Kaplan (Wiccan) and Teddy Altman (Hulkling) from Marvel Comics
* Christian Frost (White Bishop) from Marvel Comics
* Cooper Coen (Web-Weaver) from Marvel Comics
* Alan Scott (Green Lantern) from DC Comics
* Andrew Pulaski (Apollo) and Midnighter from DC Comics
* Jackson Hyde (Aquaman) and Ha'Wea from DC Comics
* Jay Nakamura from DC Comics
* Raymond Terill (The Ray) and Xenos from DC Comics
* Charlie Spring from *Heartstopper*

### Film

* Albus Dumbledore from *Harry Potter* franchise
* Simon Spier and Bram Greenfeld from *Love, Simon*
* Chiron Harris from *Moonlight*

### Television

* Wylan Hendricks from *Shadow and Bone*
* Oscar Martinez from *The Office*
* Alec Lightwood from *Shadowhunters*
* Ian Gallagher and Mickey Milkovich from *Shameless*
* Jude Adams Foster and Connor Stevens from *The Fosters*
* Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson from *Glee*
* Teddy Montgomery from *90210*
* Charlie Spring from *Heartstopper*

## References

1. ↑ "What is LGBTQ?". *The Center - The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center*.
2. ↑ "Meaning of gay in English". *Lexico*. (Archived on August 9, 2022). (content no longer online)
3. ↑ "Uranian" (2021-06-27). lexicon.library.lgbt. Albany Pride. (Archived on January 3, 2023).
4. ↑ bivirgil: "Inspired by @wuvsbian I wanted to make my own pride flag..." (2018-06-22). bivirgil-moved.tumblr.com. (Archived on January 22, 2022).
5. ↑ bivirgil: "I really wanna work on getting a popular flag that's just for gay men..." (2018-06-22). bivirgil-moved.tumblr.com. (Archived on July 4, 2022).
6. ↑ "Vincian | definition by Lexicon Library.LGBT" (2021-06-27). lexicon.library.lgbt. Albany Pride. (Archived on June 26, 2022).
7. ↑ Mullen, Matt: "The Pink Triangle: From Nazi Label to Symbol of Gay Pride" (2019-06-03). *History*.
8. ↑ 8.0 8.1 8.2 Holleb, Morgan Lev Edward. *The A-Z of Gender and Sexuality: From Ace to Ze*. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2019. ISBN 9781784506636.
9. ↑ 9.0 9.1 Polaris, Danny: "What is a bear? The gay tribe for big, hairy, hunky men" (2018-05-18). *PinkNews*.
10. ↑ 10.0 10.1 Pink News: "What is a twink?". web.archive.org. (Archived on January 21, 2022).
11. ↑ McGinniss, Joe. *Never Enough*. Simon & Schuster, 2007. English. ISBN 9780743296366. (web archive)
12. ↑ 12.0 12.1 12.2 12.3 12.4 12.5 12.6 12.7 12.8 "Gay Man Flag" (2019-07-10). gayflagblog.tumblr.com. (Archived on February 16, 2022).
13. ↑ GLAAD: "Glossary of Terms - Lesbian / Gay / Bisexual / Queer". *GLAAD Media Reference Guide - 10th Edition*. (Archived on September 26, 2021).
14. ↑ "Gay and Bisexual Men's Health Issues". hopkinsmedicine.org.
15. ↑ Iceman (Marvel Comics): https://www.vox.com/2015/4/22/8463721/iceman-gay-x-men
16. ↑ Northstar & Kyle Jinadu: https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/marvel-comics-hosts-first-gay-wedding-in-astonishing-x-men-235209/
17. ↑ Wiccan & Hulkling: https://comicsalliance.com/hulkling-wiccan-first-kiss-young-avengers/
18. ↑ Christian Frost (Marvel Comics): https://www.cbr.com/x-men-new-omega-level-mutant-emma-frost-brother/
19. ↑ Web-Weaver: https://www.thepinknews.com/2022/09/03/gay-spider-man-marvel-origin-story/
20. ↑ Alan Scott (Green Lantern): https://www.out.com/books/2021/3/03/dcs-original-green-lantern-comes-out-gay-makes-comeback
21. ↑ Apollo & Midnighter: https://www.cbr.com/dc-harely-quinn-romances-midnighter-apollo-strong-couple/
22. ↑ Aquaman & Ha'Wea: https://animatedtimes.com/aquaman-the-becoming-teases-a-romantic-new-cover/
23. ↑ Jay Nakamura: https://animatedtimes.com/dc-gives-supermans-boyfriend-his-own-costume/
24. ↑ The Ray (DC Comics): https://comicsalliance.com/ray-justice-league-of-america-exclusive/
25. ↑ Haasch, Palmer: "The third 'Fantastic Beasts' movie finally addresses Dumbledore's sexuality front and center — nearly 15 years after J.K. Rowling first revealed he's gay" (2022-04-15). insider.com. "In *Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore*, Dumbledore speaks with Grindelwald and says to him that he went along with his plans "because I was in love with you."" (Archived on December 12, 2022).
26. ↑ Love, Simon: https://www.imdb.com/news/ni63261915/
27. ↑ Moonlight: https://www.filmcompanion.in/readers-articles/moonlight-amazon-prime-video-colourful-coming-of-age-tale-naomie-harris-mahershala-ali-barry-jenkins
28. ↑ Gary Grimes: "Shadow and Bone’s Jack Wolfe on queer representation in fantasy and fervent fandoms". attitude.co.uk.
29. ↑ Thomas M. Hubbard: "Exploring The Hints That Oscar Martinez Is Gay In ‘The Office’" (January 15, 2023). sdlgbtn.com.
30. ↑ Xandra Harbet: "Matthew Daddario's Candid Thoughts On LGBTQ+ Representation In Shadowhunters - Exclusive" (December 29, 2021). looper.com.
31. ↑ Joanna Robinson: "The Best-Written Gay Couple on Television Is Hiding on a Guilty-Pleasure Show" (March 31, 2014). vanityfair.com.
32. ↑ Megan Townsend, Director of Entertainment Research & Analysis: "ABC Family's 'The Fosters' breaks new ground with Jude and Connor kiss" (March 3, 2015). glaad.org.
33. ↑ Andy Swift: "Glee Recap: Wedding Crashers" (February 2, 2015). tvline.com.
34. ↑ Teddy Montgomery: https://www.tvfanatic.com/2010/08/90210-gay-storyline-character-explained-by-producer/
35. ↑ Hayes, Darren: "I Was One Of The Most Famous Pop Stars In The World. No One Knew The Secret Pain I Hid." (2022-07-01). huffpost.com. The Huffington Post.
36. ↑ Vivienne Medrano 💖 on Twitter: "Angel and Alastor are old men who don't understand anything anymore 👍 I hope everyone on this #NationalComingOutDay2018 stays safe and stays proud 🥰 https://t.co/iQLf6dyFHk" / Twitter