O'Rourke's Eleven

O'Rourke's Eleven is the title of the tenth episode episode of Jarren's Outpost Hustle, a D&D Is For Nerds Adventure.  It features Adam Carnevale as the Dungeon Master.  The episode was released on 1st August, 2017.  The introductory soundbite is "Sanspants radio: guash b'guash b'guash b'guash," spoken by Jackson Baly. The previous episode is Rat In A Maze and the following one is Lie For An Eye.

## Events

1. Greg fights Shane and the cabbie.
2. Greg kills the carriage driver and escapes on the carriage.
3. A gnome guard is told the party's rumour of a battle at Eaton's keep.
4. Leo sneaks around to the docks, almost being swept out to sea.
5. Meatpie helps Leo into a small boat to steal.
6. As Leo cuts the rope mooring it, orcs attack, possibly killing Meatpie and jumping into the boat, capsizing it.
7. The orcs seem to vanish in the water, Leo swims it - capsized and full of arrows - to the dwarves; ships.
8. Periwinkle acquires a map of the keep from his comrades as well as a spell scroll to get into the vault.
9. Ian rejoins the crew.

## Players & Their Characters

* Jackson Baly as Greg Piss
* Joel Zammit as Leo Shadow, with Meatpie the magpie
* Handsome Tom as Periwinkle O'Rourke

## NPCs

* Shane's cab driver
* Shane
* Gnome guard
* Orcs on the docks
* Periwinkle's comrades (Colin, Goggles, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday R, Thursday T, Saturday, Sunday)
* Ian

## Locations

* Jarren's Outpost
* Greg's warehouse in the gnome quarter
* The docks
* Militia headquarters
* Militia-friendly bar

## Plot

Greg stares down the barrel of the carriage driver's flintlock. Thanks to the mechanics of his alter self spell, the shot misses! for it is an illusion, and does not actually change one's size, thus when the cabbie raises the gun right up to Greg's ear, the round flies over him. Greg's left ear is deafened, and he can feel blood trickle out from it. He runs to the carriage - turns - and fires at the wererat, realising it was right behind him, burying the shot into its chest at point blanc. Greg can tell that he's destroyed its ribcage. It tries to gnaw at Greg as the party remember they might need silver to kill it, but Greg is able to shut its maw with his free hand and pistol-whip it with the other. The carriage driver fires his second round, this time making contact with Greg.

In a panic, Greg can't get his feet into the rungs of the stepladder, failing to climb onto the carriage, then he's bitten again. At this point, the cabbie is running out of options, he tries to grab Greg, but is smacked by the lute, spraying blood from the gnome's nose. He falls back, and Greg hears a crack: blood running from the head of the prone cabbie. Greg keeps scrambling up the side of the carriage, the wererat can't get at him.

Somehow, Greg gets up onto the carriage in an attempt to escape. It's evident that Greg's confusion spell has worn off the horse, and they start moving, likely afraid of the wererat, outrunning it. Greg's warehouse is also on fire. As he goes through the gates for the gnome quarter, he tells a guard the rumour of the battle to happen that evening, unsure of his success. Just in time, Greg gets out, his spell ending, returning to his normal appearance.

Leo jumps a fence into the orcish section of the city, the docks, with Meatpie's help, but as he goes around by the water, he starts getting dragged out to sea. He recovers, swims back, Meatpie guiding him, and reaches a boat. The dock itself is populated by two orcs, looking in Leo's direction, that don't see him yet. He hops into the boat, not seen. After an hour of waiting, the two orcs are still there, fishing. Leo tries to release the little boat, cutting the moorings, but is immediately alerted by Meatpie of the orcs - it tells him they're drawing their weapons, so Leo doubles down and tries to hurry.

The orc arrives, looking down onto Leo, Leo looking up at him. He's got a big club. Leo greases the floor but the orc stays standing, endeavouring to attack him. He jumps down into the boat with Leo, hitting him in the head with the club. More orcs are coming, Meatpie tells him. Leo successfully cuts some rope while Meatpie swoops at the orcs, but the orc in the boat hits him again. Through his telepathic link, Leo hears his magpie screaming... Leo has more rope to cut, an orc in his boat and more approaching, and a choice to make.

He cuts the other rope, tells his bird to fly off; his telepathic link with Meatpie is severed suddenly. Another orc leaps into the boat and it capsizes. All three of them are thrown into the water. Leo gets under the boat while the orcs have disappeared - Leo hears arrows hit the underside of the boat. After a while of movement, though he doesn't know where he is, he stops hearing arrows. Adam reveals Meatpie fell into the water and that Leo is nowhere near the dwarven boats. Leo struggles to tip the boat back over. Leo thinks that Meatpie was either eaten by the orcs or drowned. He decides to swim his overturned boat, loaded with arrows, over to the dwarves.

Periwinkle gets a detailed, hand-drawn map of Rhodes Keep, as well as a scroll - a knock spell to open a door, with a note from Captain Toltan, hoping it'll help. When he meets up with his comrades at the safe bar, they tell him about their reconnaissance. They think it'll be well-guarded, that they have anti-grappling hook-polearms to stop people climbing over - as well as boiling oil that they've poured down on occasion. However, Periwinkle learns that there's never more than twenty-five guards on Eaton's wall. It's unlikely they have that many people inside - perhaps a hundred people at most. If they could get over the wall, any faction could take over that keep... although there is the dragon to take care of.

As Periwinkle stands to leave the bar, the door opens, Ian standing sheepishly in it. He wanders over and asks to join them. Periwinkle offers him a seat and asks why he's there; he tells Periwinkle that he'd thought about what he said to him, and that he was right. They wait for Leo and Greg.

*Will Piss make that rendezvous? Find out next time...*

## Quotes

* "Why is *nothing* easy?" - Greg
* "Major Confusion, that's what I want now." "Is he a high-ranking officer of the army who just doesn't know how he got to be a high-ranking officer of the army?" - Jackson and Handsome Tom
* "Orcs! Them bloody orcs are coming up the pier, mate!" - Meatpie
* "Cut cut rope!" - Leo
* "Fly, you fool! Fly!" - Leo
* "Sorry I killed your magpie. If it makes you feel any better you can imagine he went to a farm." - Adam
* "Yes, Colin, I said Greg Piss." - Periwinkle
* "You're [Periwinkle is] the George Clooney, Colin's the Matt Damon, Ian's the Brad Pitt, Goggles is Don Cheadle and Leo and Greg are Catherine Zeta-Jones and Julia Roberts [respectively[." - the party assigning Ocean's Eleven characters to themselves

## Trivia

* Adam refers to Greg's alter self spell as a "polyjuice potion" - used by the protagonists in Harry Potter and the Chamber Of Secrets for the same effect.
* In Australia, magpies often swoop at passersby during nesting season to protect their territory and hatchlings.
* In this episode, Periwinkle gives names to the remaining 9 of his comrades after Ian, whom he named in Coffees To Go.
* The plot to steal the weapon is often compared to the Ocean's series of heist films.