Io (episode)

Io
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***Miscellaneous Myths: Io*** is the forty-sixth episode of the *Miscellaneous Myths* by Red. It's about the Greek story of Io, an Argive princess who got the attention of Zeus, and her subsequent torment by Hera, Zeus' enraged wife. This is how Io found herself stuck in the worst battle for custody ever, between the king and the queen of the Greek pantheon.

## Summary

Red begins explaining how an ancient Roman writer, Ovid, would often write unfavorable myths about the gods, as a metaphor for his critique of those in power, Medusa being a prime example, an innocent victim at the mercy of cruel gods, raped by one and cruelly punished by another. However, there were some myths where his hot takes work just fine and are just on point, and that of Io is a pretty good example.

The story begins with Io minding her own business when Zeus spots her and appears to her in all his glory, asking her to follow him so they can have sex. Io immediately runs away, but that does her little good as Zeus conjures heavy clouds, chases her down and catches her, and then the illustration is obscured by theatre red drapes closing, as Red calls Zeus a dick. Meanwhile, up on Olympus, Zeus' wife Hera notices a rather odd mass of storm clouds covering a pretty large area of Greece, so she goes down to investigate. She finds Zeus with a very unhappy-looking cow (the transformed Io) and suspects what must have happened. Hera plays along, and, pretending to be smitten by the beautiful cow, asks to be given Io as a gift. Zeus, knowing that denying his wife what appears to be just a normal cow would look highly suspicious, agrees.

So Hera takes Io and places her under the guard of Argus, a 100-eyed giant with the ability to sleep with just two eyes closed at the time, while the other ninety-eight stay awake, in constant vigilance. Io is free to roam wherever she wants (she even meets and informs her father, the river god Inachus, of her sorry state at some point as he freaks out) but, being denied her very humanity, is visibly miserable.

As Argus takes her elsewhere, Zeus feels a bit responsible for her fate, so he asks Hermes to go down and free Io. Hermes disguises himself as a humble shepherd, who lulls Argus to sleep with a long story about the invention of panpipes (a story involving Pan) and a bit of caduceus magic. Once Argus is asleep, Hermes takes Io away, and, for good measure, kills Argus as well.

When Hera discovers it, she's furious at the murder of her loyal servant, and thus places his eyes in the tail of her peacock as a tribute. Furthermore, she sends a fury to bite and torment Io. Io, still a cow, is chased down all the Mediterranean basin, during which time she even meets Prometheus, still chained, who assures her she will return to her human form eventually and be ancestress to great heroes. At some point she gives birth to a daughter, Keroessa, who grows to marry Poseidon and have a son by him, Byzas, who eventually founds the city of Byzantium.

Io is chased to the banks of the river Nile in Egypt, where Zeus begs Hera to let her go, and she finally relents. The Fury is recalled, and Io returns to her human form. She marries an Egyptian king, becomes queen, gives birth to a son, is widely worshipped as a god, and never has to deal with Zeus again. Prometheus' prophecy comes true with the birth of Heracles, Io's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson.

## Credits

In the credits, Red sings *I Will Survive* by Gloria Gaynor, and notes that she gets angry everytime she hears someone talk about the "original version" of some Greek myth, especially when it comes to Medusa, since there's no such thing, especially with Ovid.

## Characters appearing

Medusa

Athena/Minerva

Poseidon/Neptune

Zeus

Io

Hera

Argus

Inachus

Hermes

Fury

Prometheus

Keroessa

Byzas

Telegonus

## Notes

1. ↑ Zeus raped Io.
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 Although the premise of the video is that the poet Ovid would often write stories that portrayed the gods in a negative light, the video contains several details that are not found in any work by Ovid, but rather come from other sources (which contradict Ovid's version of Io). The Prometheus episode is from Greek playwriter Aeschylus' play *Prometheus Bound*, while Keroessa is mentioned by a Byzantine author.
3. ↑ Isis, to be exact.