Bad Luck Be an Ed Tonight

**Bad Luck Be an Ed Tonight** is episode 38a of Edward and Eric. It premiered on Kids' WB on March 18, 2000.

## Synopsis

Constantinos forgets to wear green on St. Patrick's Day, and his luck seems to be worse than usual as a result. Edward tries to reverse it, but it seems that no matter what happens, Constantinos remains unlucky.

## Cast

* Gary Sauls as Constantinos, The Animator in the Sky and Mr. Goodman
* Andrew Rannells as Edward, Charles, Christian, The Narrator and Unicorn
* Dan Green as Dallas and Alien
* Edward Felker as Stanley, Gordon and Luke
* Wayne Grayson as Joey
* Tress MacNeille as Nurse Fracture
* Mike Pollock as Coach Monumental
* Frank Welker as Chester
* Eric Stuart as Janitor

Carver and Terry and Barry also appear, but have no lines.

## Trivia

* In order to fit the theme of the episode, the characters (except for Edward, Constantinos, Christian, Terry & Barry, and Charles) all wear green versions of the school uniform. The sky is also green for the remainder of the entire episode.
	+ Edward is the only one who remains lucky while not wearing green, due to the brothers' supernatural luck.
* Despite being a St. Patrick's Day-themed episode, it isn’t uncommon to see this episode air all throughout the year. Ironically, it also premiered a day after the holiday itself.
* Although this episode premiered in 2000, this was made in 1999 according to the copyright date at the end of the credits.
* The title is a parody of Luck Be a Lady by Frank Sinatra.
* This episode premiered during the *Pick Your Favorite Pokémon Day* marathon.
	+ This and *Detention* were the only shows other than, well, *Pokémon*, to have aired during that day.
* This episode reveals if an Edward and Eric character were to wear all green, especially on St. Patrick's Day, probability will bend in favor of them no matter what.
* This episode is available to watch on the Student of the Week VHS and DVD, and the Season 3 Volume 1 box set.
* **Credits:** Edward and Constantinos waiting in the elevator.
* An Aesop:
	+ You can change some stuff in your life, but you can't change *everything*.
	+ It never hurts to look at the bright side once in a while.

## Transcript

(It is a sunny morning at Lakeside City School - or so, we think. Edward is happily whistling as he walks past the gates. He walks by Christian, who is shivering)

**Edward:** Morning, Christian! (whistles; he walks by Terry and Barry, who have icicles on their bodies) Terry! Barry! (continues whistling; Charles walks by him, who has snow on his head) Beautiful day, Charles!

**Charles:** Edward, how the heck are you so lucky?!

**Edward:** (confused) Me? Lucky? I don't believe in luck. There's only science.

(Camera pans out to reveal a massive snowstorm completely hitting everything except for where Edward happens to be standing)

**Charles:** Well, for one, you're not wearing green, yet not a single inch of snow has landed on you.

**Edward:** Oh, right! It's St. Patrick's Day. Well, you should change into green soon! (continues walking and whistling)

**Charles:** Must suck to be Mother Nature, 'cause I prefer red.

(Suddenly, a cloud comes out of nowhere and zaps down lightning on Charles)

(Edward walks to the front building, but then an ambulance speeds through, loudly blaring its sirens. It heads for Edward, but narrowly avoids him)

**Edward:** Huh. Normally they just hit me.

(He heads to where the ambulance is going, which is, expectedly, the nurse's office)

**Edward:** Good morning and happy St. Patrick's, every- WHOA!

(We see a puffed Constantinos)

**Edward:** What happened?!

**Luke:** Did ya hear? Constantinos developed a new allergy.

**Christian:** Water!

**Nurse Fracture:** Talk about bad luck.

(Carver walks in and punches him)

**Nurse Fracture:** Well, I can't help with Carver. (takes out a medicine container) But this should cure the allergy.

(She opens it, but it spills water all over him)

**Nurse Fracture:** Yikes! Someone misplaced the water container with the one for the water allergies. Talk about bad luck. (points at him) You ARE unlucky. (walks away)

**Constantinos:** (reaches out his arm) Edward...

(Edward walks up to him)

**Constantinos:** I just can't seem to catch a break. (wheezes) Do you have anything to help me out?

**Edward:** Hmmm...if we put the laws of total probability in mind, perhaps if we switch our daily routines with each other, your luck will reverse into miracles. (walks out) How hard could this be?

(Both walk out of the school building. The snowstorm hits Constantinos, while the ray of sunshine is still hitting Edward)

(Constantinos is at the library, temporarily replacing Edward as one of the library aides)

**Gordon:** (pokes Constantinos' shoulder) Uhhh, the envelopes don't taste good today. Mind licking them instead?

**Constantinos:** (gulps)

(Later, he finishes up with the last envelope, but then his tongue slices in half)

**Gordon:** Thanks!

**Constantinos:** Uh, you're welco-

(Suddenly, his tongue falls to the ground and gets stuck there. He tries to pry it off, but he only ends up crashing into a roll of tape, and then into a shipping box, which inexplicably closes)

(Chauncey walks in, whistling. He grabs the box, tosses it into the back of his truck, and takes off)

(Camera transitions to P.E.)

**Joey:** (to Edward) Your P.E. ain't until fourth period, moron.

**Edward:** I'm trying to reverse Constantinos' luck by taking over his routine.

**Joey:** Well, good luck. It's dodgeball day.

(Coach Monumental blows his whistle. Everybody aims their dodgeballs at Edward, and they toss them with perfect aiming. However, all of them miss him)

**Edward:** Good luck indeed.

(Later at the football field, where everybody is running laps, Monumental blows his whistle again)

**Coach Monumental:** PEARSON!

(Edward nervously turns to face his way)

**Coach Monumental:** Don't take another step! Don't you read the papers? (takes out a newspaper) The healthiest food for lanky boys your age is junk.

(He hands him a tray of a cheeseburger, French fries, hash browns, a blueberry muffin, an entire box of pizza, a slice of cake, a liter of Nurse Salt, and spicy chips)

**Coach Monumental:** How about that? (heads off)

**Edward:** (sits down on the bench with his food) Huh. How about *that*.

**Joey:** (approaches him) Oh, Edward, I have to scrub the restrooms later. But if you give me your food, YOU can scrub them for ME.

**Edward:** Not falling for that, Joey. (prepares to take a bite out of the burger)

**Joey:** No, that's a real offer.

**Edward:** (sets it down) Deal!

(A mop transitions the camera to one of the hallways)

**Edward:** (to Dallas) And since I happened to be the third person to clean up the restrooms, I have my own personal janitor!

(Said janitor is seen scrubbing Edward's locker. At that moment, the P.A. system sounds off)

**Mr. Goodman:** (through the speakers) Special package for Edward Pearson, at the front office.

**Edward:** (cheers) I am on FIRE today! (dashes off)

(We see him grabbing the package)

**Edward:** It's from Antarctica! I wonder what it could be...

(He tears the package open, and a frozen Constantinos slides in, who melts into a puddle)

**Constantinos:** (peeved) How is it, Edward?

**Edward:** It seems nothing's changed. No matter what I do, I remain lucky.

**Constantinos:** That's nice to know. (heads to the door) It's not easy being you.

**Edward:** Tell me about it.

(At that moment, a dodgeball pops out of nowhere and slams Constantinos in the back of his head)

**Edward:** Hmmm...this can't be about probability. I try to reverse the changes, but I retain my luck, and he retains his.

(Edward's personal janitor walks in to mop up the melted ice)

**Janitor:** Someone up there must really like (points to Edward) you, and (points to Constantinos) hate *him*.

**Joey:** (in the background) Rightfully so! (laughs)

**Edward:** Well, normally I'd be in the nurse's office by now. But The Animator in the Sky must have made things right!

(A ray of light shines down on him, and the screen fades to white, which then transitions it to lunch)

**Constantinos:** (passes by) Afternoon.

**Dallas:** Where are you going?

**Constantinos:** Out. Gonna clear my mind.

**Dallas:** Your luck has been more awful than usual lately. Are you sure about that?

**Constantinos:** Yeah, not to worry. (violently rips off his frowning mouth, and flips it upside down) Edward said to turn my frown upside down. It's not about luck, Dallas. It's all about attitude.

(Once he steps out into the courtyard, he gets zapped by lightning. And again)

**Constantinos:** (opens the door, covered in burns) Does lightning ever strike the same place twi-

(And again)

**Constantinos:** Can one of you tell me about that luck thing?

(The rest of the gang runs away from him)

**Constantinos:** (tries to catch up with them) Wait! Bad luck's not contagious! It's just a random series of coincidences. (he grabs a "rabbit's foot") See? I found a rabbit's foot!

(The camera pans out to reveal that it's actually Chester's paw. He proceeds to violently maul Constantinos)

**Constantinos:** You guys have to give me a cha-

(A unicorn immediately crashes through the roof, landing on Constantinos. An alien is on its back)

**Unicorn:** (in a British accent) Oh, I am terribly sorry. I am normally a remarkable flyer.

**Alien:** (in an Australian accent) No harm done.

**Unicorn:** How odd it is for a loser to break our fall. A bit of luck, yes?

**Alien:** Mmm. Quite.

(The unicorn flies away)

(Later that afternoon, Edward walks into the courtyard, where most of the apartment's residents are doing their own business)

**Edward:** Oh, afternoon, folks. Am I the only one who saw that rainbow this afternoon?

(Everybody is in astonishment)

**Edward:** The one with...THIS at the end of it!

**Luke:** What's in it?

**Edward:** Oh, what every weary fortune seeker wants. (gold rises from the pot) My college tuition!

(Everybody cheers for him, and he goes up to a soda machine)

**Edward:** Who wants a soda?

**Christian:** Are you kidding? My dad said that thing hasn't worked in 30 years. Mario filled it up with cement.

**Edward:** Oh, *did* he now?

(Within a light tap, a bunch of soda cans spew out from the machine. Everybody cheers again as they grab a can, and this continues for a while. Constantinos sadly walks up to a table the rest of the gang are sitting at, and he opens his can, which shoots out soda in his face)

**Edward:** Hi, Constantinos! How's it going?

**Constantinos:** Oh, I don't know, what's it look like? May as well give The Animator in the Sky a cease-and-desist letter.

(Camera pans out to reveal Edward is missing)

**Constantinos:** Uh oh.

**Dallas:** That's no good. How's he even gonna reach there?

**Stanley:** Oh, I think you just need to take the really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really long elevator.

**Dallas:** The really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really long elevator?

**Constantinos:** (raises his arms) Wait! Stanley! (puts them down) Where would this really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really long elevator happen to be?

(Camera immediately cuts to Edward approaching a skyscraper that's long enough to reach into the clouds. Inside, he activates an elevator and steps in. He looks up and down on the buttons, and right when he's about to push a button on the bottom, Constantinos is seen sitting down)

**Constantinos:** I'm coming with you.

(He stands up)

**Constantinos:** No one's, ever really seen The Animator in the Sky before. Besides, no one's ever done something like this for me.

**Edward:** Thanks, buddy.

(He starts up the elevator. It shakes for a bit before going up. Inside, they patiently wait. The elevator makes a stop. Two deformed Edward and Constantinos doppelgangers walk in. All four nervously grin at the other. It makes another stop, and the doppelgangers leave. The duo continues waiting)

(The elevator is seen on a storyboard panel, which it emerges out of. It stops at a live-action work desk), and the duo exits)

**Both:** Wow!

(We see a panning shot of the Chatterbox HQ, where we see Andrew Rannells and Gary Sauls in the recording room, Edward Felker drawing rough storyboards on Post-It notes, an employee walking to a coffee machine, another employee eating lunch, and yet another employee playing an arcade game)

**Constantinos:** It's so...beautiful! And not 2D!

(Suddenly, a light shines down on them. They squint their eyes)

**The Animator in the Sky:** (threatens them with a pencil) Who dares disturb my nappy-nap?

**Edward:** Oh, great Animator in the Sky! It is your humble servant, Edward Pearson, here to... (interrupts himself) c-could you dim that light, please?

**The Animator in the Sky:** (does so) I *know* it's you, Edward. I created your universe and everything around it; you really think I need introductions? Can't I joke around?

**Constantinos:** Oh my god! I-is it really you?!

**The Animator in the Sky:** The one and only, Constantinos. In fact, I voice you.

**Constantinos:** (confused) Umm...I...I don't get it.

**The Animator in the Sky:** Eh, nevermind. I don't want to scar a young kid. Now, I know why you're both here. Luck. Edward, you want Constantinos to have good luck, right? (puts on gloves and cracks his knuckles) This'll only take a second.

**Constantinos:** Wait, wait! What's gonna happen?

**The Animator in the Sky:** (takes off the gloves) Don't worry, just joking around again. Uhh, I don't mean to burst your metaphorical bubbles, but luck is interchangeable after birth. You see, it all begins with birds and...

(Cut to a live-action time card)

**The Narrator:** One awkward lecture later...

**Edward:** I don't mean to offend you, Mr. Animator, but I already knew all of that. Since I started walking. Which was right after I was born.

**The Animator in the Sky:** Don't worry, just gonna get to the real deal.

(Fade to a bunch of characters as babies)

**The Animator in the Sky:** When a cartoon character is born, they get to determine their luck for life.

(A baby Finn crawls up to a slot machine and pushes the lever. He gets three cherries. Dallas gets three sevens. Tony bounces up and gets two bananas and a watermelon, all of which he eats. Constantinos crawls and pushes the lever as well. Slowly, he gets three skulls)

**The Animator in the Sky:** (narrating) But Constantinos was special.

(Constantinos gets angry and pushes the lever again, but he still receives three skulls. And again. And again. And again. The slot machine breaks down)

**The Animator in the Sky:** (narrating as two security guards are drawn) So I had to call security.

(Constantinos cries as he gets taken away)

**The Animator in the Sky:** Edward was next, (Edward pushes the lever) and thanks to Constantinos, he was quite lucky. (Edward ends up with three sevens. He cheers, and the flashback ends)

**Constantinos:** Well, that explains a lot. Both parts, I mean.

**Edward:** Mr. Animator, don't you think Constantinos could at least have one more chance?

**Constantinos:** Please?

**The Animator in the Sky:** Well, I don't normally do this. (he snaps his fingers, summoning a new slot machine) But you can have one more try.

(Constantinos lets out a toothy grin, and he starts praying, mumbling incoherently. He pushes the lever, and he constipates as the results slowly come in. Three sevens pop up)

**Constantinos:** (gasps) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

(The part of the desk he's standing on rises into the sky, crashing through Chatterbox's roof, and it goes into outer space)

**Constantinos:** Yeah, baby! Double or nothin', DOUBLE OR NOTHIN'!

(He pushes the lever again, but he gets three skulls. He looks in shock, and before he knows it, a volleyball hits him. He screams bloody murder as he falls back into the E&E universe)

(Back in cartoon Earth, he crashes into a UFO belonging to the alien from earlier. Upon roughly landing, the entire state of New York explodes. The alien growls as he aims a ray gun at Constantinos)

**Constantinos:** (nervously chuckles) Oops. Sorry.

(Suddenly, he gets zapped, revealing his skeleton every now and then, and the camera fades to white)

(The next morning, Edward walks out of the apartment, whistling)

**Edward:** Good morning, Constantinos!

(Constantinos is now entirely liquefied, being carried in a jar by Dallas)

**Constantinos:** Good morning, Edward!

**Edward:** How are you feeling today?

**Constantinos:** (he sloshes around in the jar) Terrific! It feels good to know I'm perfect the way I am. Bad luck's not so "bad" if you've got good friends.

(Carver appears out of nowhere and tosses the jar at the screen, shattering it and splattering Constantinos everywhere)

**Constantinos:** Yep. Just like old times.

(Once his body finishes dragging down across the screen, the "The End" screen appears)

(Episode ends)

(After Lost and Found ends, the credits scene begins. It is nothing more than Edward and Constantinos waiting in the elevator for thirty seconds)

(Closing logos)