Neil Alibastor (Channel -12 News)

Neil Alibastor in "Alibastor Consultancy".

**Neil Alibastor** is a crooked lawyer and businessman and a recurring character in *Channel -12 News*. He is portrayed by Callum Armstrong.

## Character Background

Neil Alibastor, like many *Channel -12 News* characters, has an unclear background and origin. However, it is known that his father was a fish, died, then went to Hell. Neil works as both a criminal defence and personal injury lawyer, as well as a businessman, where he sells clothing such as the Super Suit Jacket. Neil also appears to have supernatural abilities, seemingly being able to freely move between the real world and the afterlife as seen in "Judgement Day". In that segment, he notices Sean and Elliot complaining about being sent to Hell and convinces them to sue God. Additionally, Neil is shown to be a part of the fictional cast of *Channel -12 News* as seen in "Meet the Crew", although he is not present for season 2. It can be assumed that his role within the crew is to create advertisements to promote his businesses, although he frequently appears within other ads by accident. As a lawyer, one of his most notable clients is Rob P. Steal.

## Personality

As a member of the *Channel -12 News* crew, Neil is seen to be extremely narcissistic, seeing himself as a well-loved, Christ-like figure within the group. However, although he states that the group trusts him, he betrays that trust by waiting until everyone is either gone or asleep and then editing segment scripts to paint him in a good light. He also apparently has a dislike for Callum Armstrong. As a lawyer, while charismatic and passionate about his job, he is seen to be extremely incompetent, often losing cases or even being held in contempt and getting his clients longer sentences than they were expecting. In the Alibastor Consultancy advertisement, he reveals that hiring him as an attorney often results in insults directed toward the judge, their family or even toward the client themselves. As a businessman, it is unknown whether Neil is actually successful, although his commercials seem to be misleading and deceptive when it comes to the product itself. Overall, Neil seems to be a person motivated by self-importance that cannot be trusted.

## Quotes

> "*Has this ever happened to you? If so, call the offices of Alibastor Consultancy.*" ― Neil's opening line to his Alibastor Consultancy commercial.
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> "*Don't hesitate! Call the offices of Alibastor Consultancy and we can give you our guarantee that we can maybe help you. It's possible, at the very least.*" ― Neil's call to action during his commercial.
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> "*Alibastor Consultancy is not responsible for any on-site injuries, highway robberies, life sentences, insults directed towards the judge, insults directed towards the judge's mother, insults directed towards the judge's wife, insults directed towards you, insults directed towards your family, general courtroom conflict, legal prosecutions, forgery of legal documents, blatant outright lies, sudden extreme criminal accusations towards the client, sudden acts of courtroom violence, etc.*" ― The disclaimer at the end of the Alibastor Consultancy ad.
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> "*Call us today and don't just look super, but feel super too!*" ― Neil advertises his Super Suit Jacket.
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> "*Then sue 'em!*" ― Neil suggests the idea of suing God to Sean and Elliot.
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> "*I'm, uhh... Kinda like, you know... Who am I comparable to? Ummm... Jesus?*" ― Neil compares himself to Christ in an interview.
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## Trivia

* Neil Alibastor's original name was "Neil Rutherford". This was changed before the the original "Alibastor Consultancy" segment began production.
* Neil appears in the most *Channel -12 News* segments out of any character other than the main crew.