Koopa troopa vs goomba

both are bowser's minions who got beaten up by mario but there kill each other

boomstick: they are soldiers of the turtle dragon's army and are considered the weakest and most pathetic enemies in the super mario series like koopa troopa the turtle dragon's favourite henchmens

wiz: and goomba this armless mushroom also there gotta kill each other

boomstick: he's wiz and i'm boomstick

wiz: and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a death battle

### koopa troopa

(super mario bros bowser's castle remix)

wiz: koopa troopa is a stupid turtle who always gets himself killed

boomstick: by mario

wiz: yes while the goombas are the backbone the koopa troopas are prevalent enough to have the turtle dragon's army named the koopa troop

boomstick: koopa troopas have their own set of paratroopa wings that can fly for several minutes with no problem

wiz: koopa troopas are also fairly skilled in tennis,golf,baseball,basketball and go kart driving there best offense is also their finest defense the koopa troopa shell made of a tough steel like substance capable of withstanding over 200 pounds of pressure

boomstick: as an offensive weapon the koopa troopa shell can destroy almost anything It's a living torpedo of pain!

wiz: there seems to be a common misconception that it takes mario two hits to kill a koopa troopa actually, it only takes one there just happens to be this durable shell in the way however this leads to the koopa troopa's greatest weakness when mario jumps on a koopa troopa's back rather than retaliating it retreats into its shell why?

boomstick: cause they're a bunch of pussies!

wiz: that's right boomstick The koopa troopas are cowards afraid to face a dangerous foe some run from danger, but most just hide in their thick shells

boomstick: then again if I were carrying an impenetrable fortress on my back and some large italian man was trying to murder me i'd probably hide in it too

wiz: but you'd think as soon as mario picked up the shell it would a perfect time to counterattack right? And even when they're flying after a good kick they refuse to stick their feet out and stop themselves

boomstick: well eh oh yeah you're right they're b\*\*\*hes

koopa troopa: mep meh

### goomba

(bowser theme 64 epic)

wiz: goomba is a walking brown mushroom with fangs who used to be steadfast allies of the mushroom kingdom after years of oppression due to their low intelligence and short statur they betrayed their own mushroom brethren and became the backbone of the turtle dragon's vast army

boomstick: the goomba's main combat strategy is just to walk directly into its opponents while this isn't the smartest thing to do it takes some real "spores" if you know what I'm saying plus they also have these vampire fangs but they don't ever seem to use them and thinking about it why does a mushroom even have a mouth

wiz: When availableg the goomba will use the green goomba's shoe to get the jump on its foes easily able to hop over twelve feet in the air goombas can also sprout wings becoming paragoombas capable of barely sustained flight

boomstick: and when flying the mushroom thing can bomb victims below with micro goombas you know you're a badass when you throw babies as weapons

wiz: the traditional goomba may seem a useless pawn but these troopers have been known to accomplish the impossible

boomstick: wait a minute is that goomba playing baseball with no hands oh my god it has telepathy powers!

wiz: telekinesis? no it doesn't

boomstick: well then how's it holding it?!

wiz: goombas are unwaveringly brave never backing down from a fight and always ferociously charging into battle without hesitation though sometimes their stubborn courage can backfire

boomstick: Yeah you'd think it would stop walking when impending death is directly in front of it

wiz: after dissecting a voluntary goomba myself i discovered its brain to be less than half the size of an acorn proving what we've always known

boomstick: goombas are f\*\*\*ing morons

goomba: grm

### let the fight begin

wiz: alright the combatants let's this debate once and for all

boomstick: it's time for a death battle

### the fight

(super mario land song rock/opera)

(\*the koopa troopa emerges from a warp pipe and calmly walking through the field when koopa meet the goomba while he stop walking

annoncer: fight!

(unknown theme)

(\*koopa troopa and the goomba both sprout wings becoming paratroopa and the paragoomba\*)

koopa troopa: mep meh!

goomba: grm!

(\*they take to the air and fly into each other several times after flying in a circle koopa troopa tries to hit goomba by doing a reference of the spin attack from sonic the hedgehog but misses as the goomba smiles the koopa troopa ricochets off a wall and hits goomba who falls under the thwomp which he manages to avoid he also avoids 3 more thwomps but gets hit again by koopa troopa who is squashed under the fifth thwomp goomba lands near a cannon followed by koopa troopa as they both fly up the cannons fire at them both as they dodge the cannonballs and bullet bills they trade a few blows koopa troopa tries to hit goomba using the trick he tried earlier but misses and continuously ricochets off the walls again when he stops six bullet bills fly up but the goomba stops them by dropping micro goombas onto them after dodging two more bullet bills goomba and koopa troopa are high in the air as they fly into each other some more the angry sun attacks goomba and koopa troopa while koopa troopa successfully evades the angry sun the goomba is hit and loses his wings luckily he lands in a kuribo's shoe as koopa troopa descends the goomba hops towards his opponent in the shoe koopa troopa hides under a line of breakable blocks as goomba hops on the blocks above him koopa troopa tries to escape by flying to the right then quickly flying into the pipe but goomba hits koopa troopa knocking him into the pipe goomba hops after koopa troopa but gets attacked by a piranha plant emerging from the pipe koopa troopa who lost his wings from the attack comes out the other end of the pipe to meet the goomba clones who live underground the goomba appears and hits koopa troopa causing him to hide in his shell as the goomba clones dance victoriously goomba spots a pool of lava near koopa troopa the goomba clones continue to dance as goomba advances towards koopa troopa and kicks him causing him to slide towards the lava Luckily the pool of lava is small enough for the goomba cloneskoopa troopa to slide over it and hit a block causing him to kill goomba and the goomba clones unfortunately he also slides into a much larger pool of lava reducing him to dry bones\*)

annoncer: double ko!

### results

(koopa road metal)

boomstick: now that's what I call a death battle!

(\*connection: koopa troopa and goomba both are henchmen of bowser's army and are considered the weakest and most pathetic enemies in the super mario series\*)

wiz: goomba had an arsenal proved effective enough but its own stupidity became its downfall

boomstick: then koopa troopa wussed out and kept to the safety of his shell not stopping in time to avoid the giant pool of lava death

wiz: even koopa troopa's tough shell can't protect it from fire

boomstick: you might say this battle really heated up in the end

wiz: this battle is a draw