Homestuck: The Most Internet Story EVER

* Part 1
* Part 2

Today, we're finally gonna talk about Homestuck!

**Homestuck: The Most Internet Story EVER (Part 1)** is the seventh episode for *LOVEWEB*.

## Plot

Manon finds a copy of *Sburb* in the internet in its demo state but as soon as Cybermare tries to stop them they enter into the world of the game.

## Characters

* Manon
* Cybermare
* Longcatsprite
* Shittymaresprite
* Gullible Gumshoe
* Courtyard Droll
* Black Queen
* Jack Noir
* Snake
* Cetus

## Transcript

*(Intro plays as normal, with Manon surfing past future events of the current episode before landing in their room)*
**Manon:** Hello peeps of the internet! Today, we're gonna talk about homestuck! I'm so glad cybermare is finally allowing me to talk about the best story on teh internet!
*(the scene cuts to Cybermare's part where its shown that she left somewhere and is replaced with an MS Paint tab opened with her phone taped into it)*
I understand you was doing this for my own good. If the *Homestuck* episode was the first episode, then it would have been lot worse, lol! But now I'm finally ready! I also has found something really special.
*(Manon gets cut off when Cybermare opening up with a tab showing Minecraft)*
**Cybermare:** Yo, have you seen my phone? I think I forgot it here...
*(Cybermare notices the MS Paint tab with her in it)* Aw fuck no dude, is that *Homestuck*?
**Manon:** Oh no you don't! You're not gonna distract me from covering *Homestuck* this time!
**Cybermare:** I'm not gonna just distract you. I'm gonna stop you. We're not doing the cringy webcomic because it's gonna be a huge waste of time.
**Manon:** I won't back down this time Cybermare. Especially cause I found something really cool for this episode...
Check this out!
**Cybermare:** A command prompt?

**Manon:** Nope! It's a copy of the *Sburb* game! The game the characters play and get stuck inside of in *Homestuck*! I torrented it from somewhere deep hidden in the internet! I didn't even know *Sburb* was real!
**Cybermare:** Um... You can't be serious.
**Manon:** I am! Look, I'll show you...
**Cybermare:** That sounds like big fat virus to me.
**Manon:** Nonono I haven't tested it yet but i'm sure it's safe!
**Cybermare:** We're not taking that risk.
**Manon:** But pleaaase it's *Homestuck* it's gotta something epic!
**Cybermare:** Holy shit stop being a toddler.
*(the Sburb command enables and loads, leading into a scene, with some montages showing montages of scenes happening in Incipisphere especially Derse and Prospit, before eventually cutting into Manon in their home planet, Land of Wires and Waves)*
**Manon:** Uh.. Where am I?
**Longcatsprite**: Meow!
 *(Manon wakes up looks at the planet and starts running around)*
**Manon:** OMG!!! OMG OMG! I'M IN TEH SBURB GAME JUST LIKE TEH CHARACTERS IN HOMESTUCK! WOOT!! AND I GOT MY OWN PLANET TOO! THERE'S SO LOTS OF THINGS I WANNA DO I DUNNO WHERE TO START!!!
*(Longcatsprite grabs Manon)*
**Longcatsprite:** Manon, you must listen to me. you are indeed in *Sburb*. Look into Skaia. This world is only a demo. Once the demo ends, so does the world. You can try to stop the battle between good and evil happening in the center of Skaia. But the game is not meant to be won in this demo state. I'm sorry.
**Manon:** Oh... But that means we'll be okay right? When the countdown ends?
**Longcatsprite:** I'm afraid not...
**Manon:** Uh oh... this is suddently pretty spoopy... If only Cybermare was here.. wait! Cybermare! Can I try calling her?
**Longcatsprite:** You could try... meow
*(Manon gets their phone)*
**Manon:** She's answering! I'm gonna go call her!
**Longcatsprite:** I wish you best in your quest. Meow!
**Manon:** Cybermare! Where are you? Are you on your very own planet too?
**Cybermare:** I don't know where I am, it's like, dark, with a bunch of old brick walls all around.
**Manon:** Okay, you must be on your very own planet. When you play *Sburb*, every player gets their own planet!
**Cybermare:** Okay, so we did just get sent into the game. Thanks a lot Manon...
**Manon:** With pleasure! We're gonna live teh same adventure in *Homestuck*! And you'll finally see how good that webcomic is!
**Cybermare:** God fucking dammit. Hey, should we be worried about the giant countdown up there?
**Manon:** Oh uh.. Yeah.. My Longcatsprite said it's gonna pretty much end the game... with us inside...
**Cybermare:** Shit... And did they say anything on how to escape?
**Manon:** Nope.... In normal *Sburb*, you have to the fight in Skaia and defeat the Black King to win and escape!.. but this is a demo version... so... maybe winning wasn't programmed in?
**Cybermare:** Fucking hell dude... Isn't there like a more helpful NPC in the game that could help us?
**Manon:** Oh! Each of our planet hides a very powerful and knowledgable creature called a denizen! Hm... I think we should try seeing them! They'll know what to do!
**Cybermare:** Um... And where are they?
**Manon:** Well... Do you have a computer or a phone nearby?
**Cybermare:** Duh, I got my phone. But it's kinda running like shit because it seems to be always running some sort of *Sburb* app.
**Manon:** Oh! And what can you do with it?
**Cybermare:** I see you.... looks like I can use it to edit your house and build stuff.
**Manon:** Okay, so I'm the *Homestuck* connaisseur so here's teh plan... You build my house up to a gate dat should be up there that leads to my denizen.
**Cybermare:** But I need that resource to build though, you know, grist.
**Manon:** Yeah! That's why I'm going to explore my lands to farm that grist by battling monsters! I should find plenty in here. At least from what I remember in *Homestuck*.
**Cybermare:** Okay yeah I get it, you get resources and I build your home up to that denizen gate.
**Manon:** Yea!! Lets go find my denizen!
**Cybermare:** Alright.
*(scene cuts to Cybermare in Land of Walls and Night)*
**Cybermare:** I wonder if I have one of those helpers around...
**Shittymaresprite:** You talking about me, brainlet?
**Cybermare:** No fucking way, Manon's shitty drawing...
**Shittymaresprite:** What do you want normie?
**Cybermare:** So cringe... *(Cybermare facepalms causing the word "FACEPOOF" to appear)*
**Shittymaresprite:** You butthurt? Rent free.
**Cybermare:** Uh... Hey shitty version of me, what happens if we die in the demo?
**Shittymaresprite:** You die, just like your mom if you don't reply to this post
**Cybermare:** Fuck... There's like, no revival mechanics?
**Shittymaresprite:** Inb4 you can still godtier kino though.
**Cybermare:** Oh cool. You're really embarassing to talk with, but one more thing... how do I do that before I never speak to you ever again
**Shittymaresprite:** Cringe, okay so, be you, you're stuck the Land of Walls and Night, ohshit.jpeg, go find the highest landmark and then...
*(screen fades to black as it cuts to Manon in the future in their house)*
**Manon:** Hi fellow internet explorers! It's Manon from the future! Looks like we're going on an another adventure! But don't worry, I'll explain to you what *Homestuck* actually is during these little intermissions. First of all, *Homestuck* is a webcomic. It is commonly called a webcomic but it is so much more than just a comic hosted on the internet. Because, *Homestuck* utilizes the fact that it's hosted on the internet to it's fullest! Let's examine a page of *Homestuck*, because they follow a pretty unique formula. On top of a page is a command, it's telling a character what to do. These commands were suggested by readers on a dedicated forum. So in a way, *Homestuck* was sort of an interactive comic when it was being published! Under the command, you have a drawing, it shows the character doing the command! Or at least trying to do the command. Under the picture is a text describing the action of the character. If the characters are talking to each other, which is done most of the time on a computer or a phone, you'll see the chatlog of both characters! The very bottom of the page is the command of the next page, which is what you click to advance in the story! I mentionned earlier that *Homestuck* utilizes the fact that it's hosted on the internet to it's fullest. It's because of so many things! The picture can be a GIF showing a little animation. There can also be a Flash file replacing a picture! Which means one page can have music, long animations and it can even be a game! This is why you might have heard about *Homestuck* having a whole discography of awesome tunes depsite being a called a webcomic! Even the web page itself can change color depending on what's happening in the comic. This is what I mean with *Homestuck* utilizes the fact that it's hosted on a web page to it's fullest *Homestuck* in an internet comic made for the internet, it cannot provide the same experience if it was adapted to a book. As you can see, there is a ton to talk about. And we haven't even talked about the story! *Homestuck* is very dense with lots of plots and characters to follow so I'll keep the synopsis very brief! I wouldn't want to spoil the story anyway. *Homestuck* is the story of 4 kids who want to play *Sburb*. It's the cool and new game that we're playing in the episode, but its seems a lot more advanced than any other game because it allows players to alter each other's homes! IRL! This game is also pretty advanced because it might be directly linked to the sudden fall of hundreds of meteorites on earth! Is the game causing the end of the world? Is the game going to save them? You'll get the answer to these questions after like.. 500 pages or something? But the comic is over 8000 pages long! So you know this game and the world of *Homestuck* has a ton of secrets for you to discover! Anyway, let's get back to what happened in our playthrough of the *Sburb* demo!
*(as it cuts back into the current scene, the word "PSYCHE" appears onscreen and cuts into the Queen Quest subplot)*
**Narrator:** You are now the GULLIBLE GUMSHOE! The most competent detective in all of Derse. Your non-existent competition is no match for your incredible skills. Not that it should ever be a competition. This isn't a game for kids, this is serious business. Sadly, most days at the office have been spent doing jack shit lately. Not much crimes have been happening on Derse, which is good you think. But you can't help but feel incredibly bored. At least you're still bringing in the dough with this now borderline fictitious job. What will you do?
**Command:** Check the safe (just in case it's not a fake one)
**Narrator:** You check the SAFE and it is indeed, a real SAFE. Why would there even be a non-functioning safe in your office? The idea strikes you as ridiculous.
**Command:** Examine spikey flail thing
**Narrator:** This is the weapon provided for your sleuthing if things ever gets a little too heated, which they never do. Still, you would have preferred something more "sleuthish" like a gun. It seems like whoever provided your SLEUTHING ATTIRE and FLAIL have no sense of taste for what detectives are all about. Is there anything more badass than a hard boiled detective? The mysterious personalities... The glamorous attires... You start to swoon thinking about it again. This is what you signed up for, none of that weird punkish catgirl secret agent look.
**Command:** Sniff the flail
**Narrator:** Either because its been used numerous times and the weapon is now forever tainted with the stench of blood, or because it's literally a big metal ball. No one will ever know.
**Command:** Pick up the flail
**Narrator:** This thing is quite heavy, this may be more dangerous to yourself than whoever you'll be trying to hit with it. Might as well keep it close tho. You equip the FLAIL in your weapon slot.
**Command:** Gaze outside window
**Narrator:** You look outside the office window to check if anything changed outside. Nope, everything is still the same. You got a pretty nice view of Derse's moon, where the HERO's tower stands tall. This is where the fabled HERO OF VOID rests, or so you heard. Nobody is really sure if there's actually anyone in there. A lot of things are uncertain on this planet. There's an on-going war out there, the people of Derse are as divided as ever. You can feel something is wrong. You can feel something is wrong. And yet, you're just wandering aimlessly in your office. There's gotta be something for a Gumshoe like you to do.
**Command:** Dial a number on the phone
**Narrator:** As you expected, nothing happens. Oh, the things boredom can make you do.
**Command:** Order a pizza (I eat when i'm bored)
**Narrator:** Oh that's a good idea. But upon further inspection, you realise the phone isn't plugged to anything. No wonder this thing never worked. Wait a minute, could this be why you never received any sleuthing job calls?
**Command:** Destroy phone
**Narrator:** Why would you do that? This seems like quite the fiery reaction to learning your phone never ever worked and might be solely responsible for your incredible boredom? You do feel some anger, but you just gotta find a way to make it work again.
Someone suddenly barges into your office flipping the fuck out! Thus making you jump out of fear and drop the phone on the ground. It breaks into pieces immediately. The COURTYARD DROLL alerts you that the queen is missing! He cannot do his job of entertaining her! Finally something's actually interesting for you to do!
**Command:** Jump up and down for an uncomfortable length of time.
**Narrator:** You'd be jumping in joy from finally getting a new mystery to solve if this wasn't so serious! The poor DROLL finds himself out of a job with no queen to serve. Where could she be gone? Did someone kidnap the queen? It's not like she hasn't made a couple enemies within her own kingdom with the new outfit law...
**Command:** Admire the beauty of the Courtyard Droll
**Narrator:** You see that COURTYARD DROLL is rocking the attire mandated by the queen. Seriously, why does everyone has to wear these ridiculous outfits?
**Command:** Make sure you have your wallet or detective ID before you run off anywhere
**Narrator:** The WALLET will come in handy to store small items without cluttering your INVENTORY. Its almost full though. You put your WALLET in your INVENTORY.
**Command:** Place telephone shards in UNIQUE INVENTORY SYSTEM for use in future SHENANIGANS
**Narrator:** You never know. These might come in handy if someone is in dire need of a broken telephone.
**Command:** Go outside the room
**Narrator:** You exit your office. You find yourself in the hallway. The world is now your oyster. The possibilities are infinite, its overwhelming. The DROLL follows you outside.

**Command:** Put droll in your inventory for safe keeping
**Narrator:** The DROLL gazes at you with disappointment and slight concern. He might be small but he's not small enough to fit in your INVENTORY!
**Command:** Ask Droll for any leads on where to look
**Narrator:** He tells you he has no idea, that the queen is usually always around the throne room. You ask if he found any clues around the throne room. He tells you he didn't find anything. It's like she vanished. The DROLL also warns you about rumours of the HERO OF VOID sneaking around the kingdom.
The HERO OF VOID is awake? And now the queen is missing? This cannot be a coincidence! We need to find this person! You strike an epic but serious pose.
*(cuts to Manon)*
**Manon:** *(singing "You Can't Fight The Homestuck" by Kylee Henke)* 🎵Though its weird and random, its the greatest fandom🎵 So weird... Where's all the monsters and imps to defeat? I need grist for Cybermare... *(Manon finds someone)* OMG! An NPC! *(Manon jumps to them)* Hi friend!!
**Snake 1:** By Paradox Space!! The Hero of Light is finally here to- Oh wait, no it's a some weird looking cat.
**Manon:** Hey! that's so meanie...
**Snake 1:** Sorry, today is not a happy day in the Snake Village.. Our holiday has been ruined again!
**Manon:** O? What's going on?
**Snake 1:** It's a long story... The village is literally right here if you wanna learn more.
**Manon:** Oh woa!
*(Manon hops into the village)*
**Manon:** Hi! Lil creatures! What's up!?
**Snake 2:** Today is the day we celebrate electricity, the life force of our world. But Cetus, the denizen of our planet, it has-
**Snake 3:** It has hoarded all of the planet's knowledge batteries! We cannot celebrate without them. If only the Hero of Light could brighten up our day...
**Manon:** Wait you know where Cetus lives? I need to talk with them! I could ask for some of those knowledge batteries while I'm there too!
**Snake 3:** You'll take back the knowledge batteries for us?
**Snake 2 & 3:** No way! Thank you strange creature!

**Snake 2:** Cetus lives over there, let me show you the way!
**Snake 3:** No! I'll show the cat the way!
**Snake 2:** No! I'll show the cat the way!
*(Snake 2 & 3 tries to fight but Manon stops them)*
**Manon:** Okay.. Okay.. There's no need for fighting. Wait! Maybe I can use my web portal! With it I can just enter the Cetus lair and maybe I can even leave the whole game with it too! *(Manon tries it only for it to fail)* Oh... It doesn't work... Epic fail... Oh well... Lead the way!
*(scene cuts to Manon in the future in their room)*
**Manon:** Hewo! It's me Manon from the future again! As you heard in the last intermission, *Homestuck* uses Flash content a lot. Sadly, you might be aware that browsers refuses to run Flash files now. It all was fine when *Homestuck* started in 2009 and ended in 2016. But in 2020, Flash was planned to stop being supported, which would ruin the experience! So in 2018, the publishing rights to *Homestuck* were given to Viz Media, and *Homestuck* is now hosted on a different website. With the purpose of making *Homestuck* readable on phones and more importantly, work without Flash. Sadly the results are... not great at all... The animations are now low quality YouTube videos and the games are just... pictures... But worry not! *Homestuck* is not ruined forever! Fans took it upon themselves to save the comic. The Unofficial *Homestuck* Collection is a huge offline browser made to recreate the original experience! There's everything you need in this to read *Homestuck*. I won't go into details because that's all for you to discover! I really recommend reading homestuck through this collection rather than using the lame Viz Media website. Oki! Let's head back to our session!
*(cuts back to the Queen Quest subplot)*
**Narrator:** The DROLL takes you to the perfect place to go to when you're need to find someone, JACK NOIR's office. You're a little nervous at the idea of disturbing JACK NOIR. He's kind of a grumpy guy, and also very violent. You really don't wanna get into his bad side, but the DROLL urges you to enter.

**Command:** Remember the last time you spoke to Jack Noir.
**Narrator:** Well, you never spoke to JACK NOIR yourself. You only seen him wander around talking under his breath. You don't have the guts to talk to him. And if you had, he'd probably stab them... The guts... Last time you saw him was a while ago. He was being dragged out by REGULATORS while wearing quite the handsome outfit. Probably why he was being arrested by the literal fashion police.

**Command:** Inspect the note

**Narrator:** It's a message from JACK warning about his absence. Guess you'll just have to find another way. How convenient.
**Command:** Don't disturb the archagent. Just peek at him. Grab a glimpse.
**Narrator:** See? No one is in there. No need for you to enter. Inside his office you can see JACK's 3/4 cubicle of vigilance. Three FENESTRED WALLS used to survey the Derse kingdom. On his desk is an unrecognisable paperwork. His coat hanger is wearing a dersite attire in terrible condition. A strange purple liquid seems to have stained the floor.
**Command:** Kick down the door
**Narrator:** Absolutely not!! There is no need for that kind of behaviour here! If JACK NOIR catches you doing that, he will absolutely be furious!! You'd be a dead dersite, that's for sure.
**Command:** Courtyard Droll: The Gumshoe is hesitating, fling open the door
**Narrator:** Seems like the GUMSHOE is settled on standing around and being nervous.You really don't understand what her problem is. It's literally just a door. You fling the door and enter. The GUMSHOE freaks out!
You are now inside of JACK NOIR's office. The GUMSHOE follows behind anxiously.
**Command:** Gumshoe: hug the Droll for comfort
**Narrator:** Your GUMSHOE ETIQUETTE METER has reached such a low level from entering JACK NOIR's office, you no longer care about acting like a hard-boiled detective. Thankfully the comfort gained from hugging the DROLL is refilling your GUMSHOE ETIQUETTE METER.

**Command:** Droll: Waste approximately seventeen hours filling out parking forms.
**Narrator:** You are currently too busy being hugged to take care of paperwork. You totally would have done it if you weren't being held against your will right now. Tough luck you guess.
**Command:** Gumshoe: Get the fancy purple clothes
**Narrator:** After refilling some of your GUMSHOE ETIQUETTE METER, you decide to check on the fancy purple clothes hung next to the desk. Fancy isn't really the correct word for those clothes. A more fitting term would be "totally torn to shreds". You can only assume this is, or was, JACK NOIR's dersite attire. It would be kinda funny to see him dressed up with a cap and skirt though.
**Command:** Stuff Jack Noir's clothes in your inventory when no ones looking for "future evidence" (Free clothes)
**Narrator:** You put JACK NOIR's dersite attire in your INVENTORY. These might come in handy you guess? Hopefully that hypothetical someone in dire need of a broken telephone also needs some ripped out clothes.
**Command:** Turn on fenestrated walls
**Narrator:** You turn on one of the FENESTRED WALLS. Its unclear but... Is that JACK NOIR? Where is he? Who is that person next to him, could it be... The HERO OF VOID?
**Command:** Droll: Scavenge the drawers for clues
**Narrator:** Now that the GUMSHOE is distracted, you decide to look inside the drawers. You got a queen to find for god's sake! This draw contains lots of REGISWORDS and MYSTERIOUS PAPERS. You take a closer look at the MYSTERIOUS PAPERS. These appear to be just papers mentioning the BLACK QUEEN, BLACK KING, WHITE QUEEN and WHITE KING. They mean nothing out of context, but next to all these REGISWORDS... Knowing JACK NOIR yourself, this might be a HIT LIST. This maniac better not have hurt the QUEEN or he's gonna get a taste of your wrath. Wait a minute, one of those papers feels strangely crusty and off. This paper appears to have letters written on it, along side numbers. You guess this is math? Maybe? You're so glad no math was included in your COURTYARD DROLL APPRENTICESHIP because you personally hate them but... Now you find yourself in a pickle trying to understand this equation.
**Command:** Take the REGISWORDS
**Narrator:** You grab the REGISWORDS. You suddenly feel power flowing through your veins as your grip tightens around them. These swords look as sharp as razor blades, nobody is gonna mess with you now. If only you had a third arm to hold them all.
**Command:** Juggle REGISWORDS
**Narrator:** Now we're talking! You no longer hold the danger, YOU ARE the danger. This will come in handy to prevent any unsolicited embrasses in the future.
**Command:** Gumshoe: Rapidly and chaotically turn the wall knobs
**Narrator:** This is changing the view of the FENESTRATED WALL! Some of the results appear to show nothing though. You have no idea what these places are, but it's clearly not Derse.
**Command:** Droll: Ask Gumshoe if she knows anything about the math you found
**Narrator:** You show to the GUMSHOE the math problem you found. She tells you that it's not a math problem, it's coordinates, silly!
**Command:** Gumshoe: Apply the math to the wall knobs
**Narrator:** You just said that it's not math and that it's... Nevermind. You carefully set the X knob to -31 and the Y knob to -32. You didn't even realise you could set the knobs beyond 30. The view seems to have switched to Derse... And... What is this place? You've never seen it before. Everyone is wearing such stunning yet prohibited outfits! This is sure to make the REGULATORS furious! You need to get to the bottom of this. You find yourself quite interested in finding where this is. The DROLL tugs at your outfit. Let's not get sidetracked here. What about finding JACK NOIR and the BLACK QUEEN first?

**Command:** Get down to brass tacks. Time to do some serious sleuthing
**Narrator:** Well, if JACK NOIR got coordinates of this place hidden in his drawers, then he must be involved. There's gotta be more clues of what JACK NOIR is up to and possibly where the BLACK QUEEN is inside this secret location. He does seem to hate the QUEEN after all. Its time to get your feet to work and hunt down where this snazzy looking place is! No secret shall hide before the GUMSHOE! You strike another epic but serious pose. he DROLL stands beside you... Unchanged.
*(scene cuts to Manon at the warehouse)*
**Manon:** Oh... I see what you did there. This is some kind of pattern I has to dodge.
*(Manon tries going through the spotlights but constantly fails)*
**Manon:** Ugh! So impossible!! There's no way I'm getting inside that warehouse with those spotlights. If only there was a way to turn them off... Wait a minute.
*(Manon goes to the other side of the warehouse)*
**Manon:** Epic!
*(Manon walks to the button)*
**Manon:** There it is!
*(Manon turns off the button, causing the power to go off in the entire warehouse and goes through the entrance)*
Manon: Uh oh, can't see anything in here. Good think my phone got a flashlight.*(Manon turns on the flashlight from their phone and gets spooked by the statue of Cetus)* AAAAAA! Wait... that's not Cetus at all. It's just a huge statue of it. I wonder if the knowledge batteries are still here. *(Manon finds the batteries with their phone)* Perfect! That should enough for teh village.
*(Manon gets the batteries and gets out of the warehouse and returns to Snake Village)*
**Snake 4:** The cat has returned! They have brought back the knowledge batteries! We didn't need the Hero of Light after all!
**Manon:** Hi everyone! The warehouse is now safe for all of you to loot! Cetus was actually nowhere to be found... There's actually just a giant statue of them in it! Y'all can head over there safely and.. *(Manon gets a phone call from Cybermare)* Actually hang out a sec, Cybermare's calling me.
**Snake 1:** Who the hell is Cybermare?

**Cybermare:** Yo, it took me forever but I'm done building the house to that gate you said. You uh, literally didn't collect anything to help me out.
**Manon:** Oh woopsies lol, There seems to be no mobs or anything to get grist around here. How did you manage to build anything?
**Cybermare:** I deployed this grinder machine that turns anything I put in into grists and worked with whatever I had around. I did the best I can.
**Manon:** Oh cool! Wait wouldn't that gate lead me back to the warehouse?

Cybermare: I dunno, why? Did you find Cetus already?
**Manon:** Now that I think about it... I didn't see any exit gates around teh warehouse. Or even that treasure denizens usually guard.
**Cybermare:** What? A treasure?
**Manon:** I guess the snakes all believed some lie about Cetus protecting the knowledge batteries...
**Cybermare:** Manon, I have no idea what any of that means...
**Manon:** Kay, thanks Cybermare for building my house up! This should lead me to where Cetus actually is!

**Cybermare:** Don't expect much... I've been... busy... Struck a deal with some guy and now I gotta get some ring for him. Oh, I also put down alchemy devices alongside the grinder. So you can fuse items together and gear up before you confront Cetus in case things goes to shit. We don't have much resources left but it's better than nothing
**Manon:** OMG!! *Homestuck* alchemy is so cool! Thank you so much Cybermare!
**Cybermare:** Yeah... Wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you.. Hey, what was that about a treasure?
**Manon:** Oh yeah! The denizens usually guard a very power treasure in their lair! But IDK how you can get them without waking them up or killing them.... You'd have to talk them into giving it to you, or being very sneaky and steal it...
**Cybermare:** Mmm... I see..
**Manon:** Anyway, alchemy montage time!
*(Manon goes to the grinder)*
**Manon:** There it is! Oh gosh what... Whatever let's do this!
*(scene cuts to a montage of Manon combining and mixing items, such as a drink and an "Ultra Meme" poster, making a lot of them. Then the web portal and Manon's phone, then combines that with a picture of Gondola. Then a cursor and a picture of Duckroll and tries to ride on it, before combining it with a picture of Nyan Cat, rides on it, and brings the Snake with them. Then combines the Snake and a picture of Mudkip together forming a new character, then flies upwards with the combined items and flies into the blue portal as the curtains close, zooming out as the credits roll, ending the episode)*

## Music

* Michael Guy Bowman - We're riding on the internet (LOVEWEB Remix)
* Beyond Canon (Sean "Flare" Gorter) - Surprise, We're Back
* Homestuck Vol. 5​ (Toby Fox) - White
* Homestuck Vol. 9 (Robert J! Lake) - Before the Beginning and After the End
* Homestuck Vol. 5 (Robert J! Lake) - Softly
* Mani - Derse vibers [Commission]
* Midnight Crew: Drawing Dead (Alex Rosetti) - Moonshine
* Homestuck Vol. 5 (Seth "Beatfox" Peelle) - Lotus
* Homestuck Vol. 9 (Toby Fox) - Moonsetter
* Midnight Crew: Drawing Dead (Alex Rosetti) - Hollow Suit
* Midnight Crew: Drawing Dead (Mark Hadley) - Ante Matter
* Homestuck Vol. 8 (Erik Scheele) - Frog Forager
* Homestuck Vol. 5​ (Alex Rosetti) - Crystalanthemums
* Homestuck Vol. 3 (Michael Guy Bowman) - Ohgodwhat Remix
* Homestuck Vol. 10 (Thomas FerkolVoidlight) - Voidlight
* Sburb Session Simulator samples

## Voice Actors

* Andrew Cunningham - *Queen Quest* Narrator
* Ben Saint - 1st Snake
* Cybershell - Village Snake 1
* gomotion - Village Snake 2
* Pingouin Libéré - Longcatsprite

## Art Credits

* ackrostation - Design of the Land of Wires and Waves, Talksprites Cybermare
* Baqly - Background art
* JimJam - LOWAW AND LOWAN Planet Designs, background art
* PAM - Talksprites Manon
* pumpkinTentacles - Borders
* Razur - Background art
* Toreodere - Design of the Land of Walls and Night, background art
* Tsuyo - Design of the Kings and Queens

## Patreon Supporters

### Lurker Tier

* sock
* Mayo78
* Starficz
* verden
* Loom
* Lux
* Baplar
* Katazrophic
* TotallyOriginal
* Turry
* Zackary Buchmann
* Lavender
* Ashe Dreamthief
* "My Wife"
* joe-ilya
* MAD SLUDGE
* Metoodig1614
* Kitsune
* EtchJetty
* ackrostation
* psychocat
* Simon
* yknowlikenia
* x86\_akai
* blueberry ramune
* Róża Ilnicka
* Josh Clark
* Jackmann527
* Scree
* DynimoTnt
* imaginarym00n
* owendcool epic
* Zelbo
* Arseneyes

### Leaker Tier

* lucky luc
* Ethan Straub
* badhaloninja
* Isaac Sutton
* buenDisk
* LuminantGamer
* Smippers
* zzx
* Jesse Thompson
* Callie Calico!
* roecomplex
* Sadi Makara
* Courage
* Ash
* Brooks
* linkdude64
* SaltyMalt
* Cassandra
* Steeb
* Christopher Roger Simons
* TheLightlessLizard
* Cr0ssCutter
* Alison Madden
* Loaf
* Finn-Zide
* Noizzz
* MissJukeBox0
* tiredbunny
* Daniel 张文宇
* Goji✦Dragon
* BluShades
* Demented Duskull
* Silver Drop
* Robaire Odin Obarmann
* ROBOberman
* Trixelized
* FreeRealEstate007
* Ben Waffle

### Low Tier

* Alabaster
* Muluki
* Ben Saint
* NotNamedJohn
* POWERFULgamerVEGAN
* skookz
* The Shady Boi
* Mace
* Pants
* Manfredwarg97
* TheoNicks
* KokujinPlus
* Miss\_Pills
* Filler
* ???
* ???

### Haxor

* Cybershell
* Dhalucario
* FNAF Fanboy
* deicn\_dani
* Dalton Reed

### Channel Members

* "My Wife"
* Fluffette
* Collin
* EpixPicture
* nekowo
* Tired Eddie
* MJ Lemonsnout
* Rhythmic Thoughts
* Meliae
* UltraJNH
* The Carl
* Thinbug
* Silver Drop

## Fanart Credits

* aPOWERFULgamerVEGAN
* Athoth
* KnuxUltimate
* CallieCalico
* Gabiru
* OrdinaryBread
* Survana
* bee\_Ben
* Ashe Dreamthief
* P-PAMda
* myamano4
* enamelon
* myamano4
* Paretto
* youli
* Noriaki Gingerbrave
* meepsomething
* TheUnluckiestCat
* あおぼし
* Acm240
* Peacefulpanda
* KatZoverlord
* Yinyangly\_Tarr
* DrgnAnim
* Dr. Sunset
* Hydraxolotl
* Metoodig1614
* Retr0Spookzy
* m33m33\_
* moog404
* Captain Tortoise
* Bobinator5000
* 5ynth
* ackrostation
* toreodere
* sock
* InsertedFailed
* 4thg4
* heyitsjustpIxel
* lavender
* jplol
* gushee\_e
* Doumeli
* UltraJNH
* MahSpaghetiii
* blueberyramune
* TheUnluckyCat

## Notes

1. ↑ Placeholder
2. ↑ Placeholder
3. ↑ Has an animated segment.
4. ↑ Has an animated segment.
5. ↑ Has an animated segment.
6. ↑ Has an animated segment.
7. ↑ Has an animated segment.
8. ↑ Has an animated segment.
9. ↑ Contributor has 2 arts.
10. ↑ Contributor has 2 arts. Credited as "UltimateKnux" in the second one.
11. ↑ Contributor has 2 arts. Credited as "peacefulpanda" in the second one. Credited as "TheYAAAY" in the third one.
12. ↑ Contributor has 2 arts.

## TBA

### Watch

 TBA
 TBA

### Writer

Shadok
Kankitty

### Director

Shadok

**Homestuck: The Most Internet Story EVER (Part 2)** is the ??? episode for *LOVEWEB*.

## Characters

* Manon
* Cybermare

## Patreon Supporters

### Channel Members

* "My Wife"
* Fluffette
* Collin
* EpixPicture
* nekowo
* Tired Eddie
* MJ Lemonsnout
* Rhythmic Thoughts
* Meliae
* UltraJNH
* The Carl
* Thinbug
* Silver Drop

## Trivia

* This marks the first time a *LOVEWEB* episode is split in half mainly because of the lengthy amount of time in the episode.
* *Homestuck* finally got discussed as a topic after a few years of its references in *LOVEWEB* teased in "Welcome to LOVEWEB" for the first episode and got cancelled in "RFCK: The Discord MMO", although the topic discussed in that episode is inspired by *Homestuck*. The Sburb logo was also referenced in "The Iceberg Meme History Explained".
	+ The first part of episode was released on Homestuck's fourteenth anniversary.
* This episode, along with "Rules of the Internet Explained" and Interview with Hatsune Miku was worked at the same time.
* The original title for the episode was "Homestuck: The Internet's Epic".
* This is the second video to feature voice actors and to be a "plot-based" episode.
* This is the first episode that doesn't end with Manon and Cybermare sleeping.
* This is the last episode to use AI voices for Manon and Cybermare due to the reputation of it as explained in "AI Voices and the future of LOVEWEB". The characters would later receive actual voices by real voice actors in the next episode "The Web has lost its soul".

### Part 1

* This episode did not have an ARG due to Shadok being really busy with the episode, however the game that was supposed to SOFTMARE ████ came out later with the video " ".

## Gallery

Teaser.Progress ChartUpdate 1Update 2Episode poster teaser.Update 3