The Green Door

The Green Door is an album by V/Vm released in 2000 on V/Vm Test Records. The album follows the story of a knees-up in Stockport being interrupted by Shakin' Stevens (referred to as SHAKEY in the album's liner notes) and the members of V/Vm being kidnapped and forced to live with other novelty acts behind his Green Door. The audio is supposedly evidence of this happening.

The cover is derived from Shakin' Stevens' single Green Door/Don't Turn You Back with Stevens having his eyes colored red and having his body covered in green. A text bubble is shown with Stevens saying:

"*This was supposed to be a V/Vm compilation CD until I came along and abducted the V/Vm boys. Find out what I've been hiding behind my green door for all of these years."*

## Track listing

"Careless\*Trotter" and "He Ain't Heavy He's My \*Butcher/" were also released on Masters Of The Absurd.

"A Day Up North" was previously released on Chart Runners.

"Rock Me (h)Amadeus (Edgeley Edit)" was previously released on the *Falco Tribute* EP.

"Pigs (You Are All)" was previously released on Pig.

## Liner notes

```
It all went wrong::: a big mistake - a huge error---
A glance back can be fun sometimes// if this is an overview of what has been going on *it may be a shock to some- but not as shocking as it is to us , and it's all true.

This V/VM story begins like most with the elderly, there we were with the old folks, having the usual V/VM knees up with the local pensioners at Stockport Town Hall. We were leading the chorus of "how ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm?<"  when suddenly out of the haze of elderly smoke SHAKEY was there. His looks may have been fast fading but it was unmistakably him. It cannot be denied, SHAKEY has been there and seen it all. Through thick and thin, from
sell-out crowds, Christmas number ones and knicker throwing, to winter season at Butlins playing thirty pensioners his old hits, his features lay testimony to the fact that he's seen it all. SHAKEY took centre stage and commanded out attention. "I have a real problem boys, I'm locked out of my Green Door. I've heard you're good at breaking and entering, any chance of a bit of help ??" asked the cardiff crooner. Sure enough we were only to happy to oblige and help the elvis wannabe back into the safety behind his Green Door. If only we'd stopped to think, The Green Door has always been a mystery, even the track knows there's a secret hiding behind it. Crowbar in hand the door was open in a flash, SHAKEy pushed us in and that was the start of it, the   start of this whole mess you hold in your hands. The pensioners back at the town hall were unaware of or predicament, and why should they care, they were laying into a rip-roaring version of the birdie song, they were having a right knees up. We were left with a satanic SHAKEY, trapped behind his Green Door, abducted and in serious trouble.
What we found behind that door was a real shock to the system,   the Green Door appeared to allow access to an historical musical dumping ground, SHAKEY confirmed our fears.... "They're all in  here boys- all the stars from the big boys to ones who need forgetting, they're all together. The trouble is you have been upsetting a great many pf these people with your output. Only I Shakin' Stevens have the right to release what I want, this    power has been granted by the Green Door.".

We were in big trouble, SHAKEY was mad and foaming at the mouth. What followed can be heard on this disc, like an audio diary of our adventure. We met the worst and the best and survived to fight another battle and continue in our quest to become the  worst. We apologise now for what lay behind the Green Door and for some of the audio you will be subjected to.
I really hope you have a better experience in their than we had. Our thanks go to the talented comedy duo of Cannon And Ball who helped plan our escape finding the exit portal which landed us in amongst the Pigs we so love and empathise with. Be sure to say a word of thanks to the pair of them when you find them.
One day the full story of our adventure behind the green door will come out, for now this is the only evidence we have, beware of Shakin' Stevens, and heed our advice --------
"Open Green Doors very carefully, you never know what is behind one."

V/VM.

ALL RECORDINGS MADE BEHIND THE GREEN DOOR/ except for live recordings which were made at the annual V/VM knees up at STOCKPORT TOWN HALL. With special thanks to Animal.

NO PENSIONERS WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS CD.

For the latest V/VM information and free MP3's visit >>>

www.brainwashed.com/vvm

To contact V/VM directly email >>>

vvm@v-vm.demon.co.uk

To be added to the V/VM e-mail list mail the following address with "subscribe" in the body of your email >>>

v-vm-request@hollyfeld.org

THIS COMPACT DISC WAS MADE POSSIBLE THANKS TO VVMCPS.

```