Marika's Transformation: Section 1

MARIKA'S TRANSFORMATION: SECTION 1

Extracted from Chapters 1-10 of the story *Our Transformations*

Earlier today, Marika got to meet two other teenagers who, for various reasons, present as girls. Finally, she can say that she knows of others who, like her, go out in public dressed as girls. Later that afternoon, Marika is at home in the privacy of her bedroom. She checks on the social media platform, but Yui has already deleted their profile. Marika next undresses, and looks at herself in the mirror, now only wearing a pair of girl's panties.

"I was so scared going out like that! Was I that gross? Is that why Yui left?", she painfully asks herself. "Anyway, for better or worse, that was how we met."

While standing at the mirror, Marika recalls to her mind some of the factors that lead her to believe and be convinced that she was a male to female transgender person.

" As long as I can remember, I've thought of myself as female. I always believed that the foreign object between my legs would eventually disappear and that my chest would eventually grow breasts. It was a big shock when I found out after puberty, naturally, that supposition of mine wasn't the case. But I watched people on TV, and recovered from discouragement by discovering that I could use different ways to alternatively present as female. Such as presenting online as female. I had thought that was the natural thing to do for the time being, and I didn't feel strange at all towards doing it. Does that really make me a gross person ? "

Ever since Marika realized that she was a male to female transgender person, she has been all alone, with no friends to talk to at all, except for one childhood friend. So, the characters in her bedroom became her intimate and spiritual friends---Sapphire, the fashion doll, Pokota, the puppy dog, Pyonkichi, the bunny rabbit, and Keeru, the funny frog. All of these friends agreed that Marika was destined to become a real girl, a Princess in fact! Princess Marika! That is how Marika would see herself. You are our Princess, the bedroom friends would repeatedly tell Marika.

While still standing at the mirror, just then the door to Marika's bedroom slides open. It is Marika's childhood friend, a cis-gendered girl her own age named Akane. She comments---

" I was wondering what you were doing half-naked in the dark. Take it easy on escaping from reality, okay ? "

Akane and Marika started pretending they were princesses together when they were both children, but now in the teen years, it is just Marika that is a princess. Akane asks how the meetup went earlier today ? Marika confesses that she was so naive about the whole thing. Markia begins dressing in a girl's sweat suit, as she tells Akane that Parou-san was a wonderful person. So kind, and ........

" Don't peek, you perv! ", utters Marika to Akane, who is watching her intently.

Akane's comeback to that rebuke is to tell Marika that she is amazing ! That she wants to be a girl with all her heart. Marika protests that she is not amazing. However, Akane counters with the thought that Marika is, indeed, amazing since she went to an IRL meetup, out in public, dressed as a girl, all on her own !

Akane is wearing the school's official female uniform, a navy blue sailor suit with a pleated short skirt. She enjoys twrilling around, causing her skirt to rise upward, almost showing her panties. She asks Marika---

" What do you think? "

" It looks good on you. "

However, Marika thinks to herself that Akane's skirt is so wonderful; it is as if it were fluttering in the wind, just like a flower petal. Compared to that, continues Marika, tomorrow she will be dressed in the school's male uniform, and look like they are going to a funeral!

" Think of it ", adds Akane, " we'll be junior high students starting tomorrow! "

Marika thinks to herself that no matter how horrible the collar, and how awful the whole male uniform is for her to have to wear, she is sure that she will be able to put up with it and wear it to school, as least for now.

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The next morning, just coming onto the school campus, Yuuta (Marika masquerading as their perceived birth gender of a male, and forced to use their male birth name) remarks on how pretty the blooming sakura blossoms (cherry tree petals) are. A tear comes to their eye as they pull on the stiff collar of the male uniform. Suddenly, another male student addresses them, telling Yuuta to stand up properly. When their eyes meet, a glint of recognition is exchanged. The male student grabs Yuuta's arm, and pulls them along to a secluded place on campus. Being swept away, like a princess, is kind of romantic!. Or so thinks Yuuta (Marika). But the daydream is over when Yuuta is grabbed by the front of their uniform jacket, and thrust up against a window, sharply banging their head.

"Don't you dare tell anyone about the other day ! If you do, I'll damn well kill you !!!", shouts the male student.

Yuuta's face turns red with fright, and they begin to cry. " .....okay..... ", they meekly whisper. The male student is the same as the 'girl' she met at the meetup, the one called Yui, who today as a male uses their male name of Ryou. The boy tells Marika that they make him sick, what with their feminine looks and aura, and they cry so easily, just like a girl. After Ryou releases Yuuta, they try to calm and compose themselves; this isn't romantic at all!!!

On the way back to classes from the Entrance Ceremony, two other male students are conversing with one another. Yuuta walks by the two. One boy states that he just saw a really cute first-year who apparently has enrolled ...... The other boy's comeback is with the revelation that the cute student is actually a 'guy'!

    "NO!", strongly insists the first boy. *"THERE'S NO WAY A GUY CAN BE THAT CUTE!* THAT MUST BE A GIRL WHO'S CROSS-DRESSING BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO WEAR THE MALE UNIFORM! 'CHII-CHAN'! *I'LL CALL HER CHII-CHAN!"* The second boy says that you may have given him a girl's name, but he's still a guy. Do you mean that short guy with glasses who just went by? Ya ! He totally looks just like a girl! Get real! That's a guy! Honestly, you were checking him out. But that's a guy! Little did Yuuta realize that the two boys were talking about 'him' and 'his' very feminine looks and demure!

After school, Ryou (Yui's male birth name) and his girlfriend, Hacchi, walk home together. They pass another student carrying a bag of groceries. Hacchi asks Ryou about the kid that passed by just now, if that was the cute first- year that was talked about at school ? Hacchi is surprised at how cute 'he' really is. Ryou says that they are definitely not cute. Ehhh? Hacchi restates that he's *DEFINITELY CUTE!* He looks *just like a girl*, after all.

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After a while, the two cross-dressing boys and Marika met up again in the same coffee shop and cafe. Just like before, Yui did most of the complaining. She complained that she has to portray her deceased older sister, dressing in her clothes, and even trying to duplicate her personality. Being the quiet one, Marika's mind and attention begins to drift away from Yui's bellyaching. Marika thinks back to the unpleasant times earlier when other boys would bully her.

" Hey! Girly boy! Stay away! "

" Don't come over here. Your disease will infect us. "

" I touched Yuuta! Activate the Cootie Barrier! "

Many times Yuuta would cry on the way home from school because the bullying was so severe. " Hey! Don't tease Yuuta! " At least Akane-chan was there for protection and comfort. And the bedroom friends, too. They would comfort Marika. At the end of this meetup, when the three were outside, Yui apologized to Marika and Parou. Parou told Yui that they made Marika cry that day they met up for the first time. Yui also apologized for the way that Yuuta was treated at school on the first day back. Being banged up against a wall, and threatened. How primitive! After the apology, Marika gives Yui a big smile, to show all is well. The three agree to meet up again sometime in the future.

Next day at school, Akane flags down Yuuta in the hallway, from an open classroom window. She wants to know if Yuuta is coming to cooking class today ? They are going to make cakes. But, no, Yuuta has to do something later today. And that untold something is that Marika would be attending another meetup with the two cross-dressing boys. This time they are meeting in a room at a community center. Parou brought a present for Marika---ice cream (Haagen-Dazs!). However, the 'girl talk' begins with pancakes being served. Yui declines to eat anything. Much was discussed.

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Soon, the meetups were moved to Parou's mostly barren and empty house. During one of those meetups, Parou gives Marika a gift, a new bra! Yui was offered a bra, too, but turns it down, as she as no breasts. Marika removes her shirt and tries on her new bra; it fits well enough, considering she also has no breasts at this time. Yui takes a look at Marika wearing her new bra, then leaves, meaning Marika and Parou are by themselves. Marika puts her shirt on, however, Parou has some edgy things on her mind. Marika asks Parou what her male name is ? Tamura Osamu. That's wonderful! Marika is sitting on the floor near a corner of the room. Parou bends down on her knees to address her, and slowly but deliberately goes in for a kiss. After they separate, Parou asks Marika if she likes her ? Yes! However, Marika retorts by saying that she doesn't want to go any further, puts her hands over her face, and begins to cry. Parou tells herself that she was wrong for trying this. Marika says that she is sorry for taking part in this, allowing a kiss to happen. Parou silently tells herself that she is the one who should be apologizing.

At that moment, Yui opens the door. They returned to retrieve their forgotten cell phone. He sees that Marika has been crying. Marika says that does not mean anything. Yui correctly guesses what happened, an unprovoked kiss. Yui doubles up her fist and nails one on the side of Parou's face. Yui tells Parou that they are a disgrace. Parou cups her sore cheek in her hand, and notices that her glasses have been knocked off and are damaged. Parou leaves, saying that they will not attend any more meetups. As Parou walks the streets, they tell themselves that they are a dirty person for what they did to innocent Marika.

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One day at school, Yuuta and Akane plant Morning Glory seeds. The seeds were saved by Akane when she used them a
long time ago for a class project. Then at lunchtime, Akane is eating her bento with the girls in her social circle.
Gossip abounds. Akane is asked by the other girls if she is dating Yuuta ? No, she is not, they are just
childhood friends. Akane silently thinks to herself that this question keeps coming up more and more often since she
has been in junior high. Later in the afternoon, during the cooking class, Yuuta is asked by Akane if they like anyone ? Yeah. But Yuuta becomes tight lipped about just who it is. Akane becomes persistent. So much so that another girl tells Akane to 'lay off' of Yuuta. This she does. When the cooking is done, Yuuta samples the food item. It was delicious!

Some time later, Tamura (Parou in male mode) comes across Akane. He asks about Yuuta. Akane sees that he has been crying, and asks why? Tamura only says that they hurt Yuuta (actually it was Marika), by acting very selfishly. That hurtful act (the kiss) made him feel wretched and dirty. This confession by Tamura has an effect on Akane. Tamura guesses correctly that Akane is 'crying in her heart'. Tamura then hands a paper bag to Akane, saying that it is an "I'm sorry" gift for Marika. Please give it to her. After Tamura leaves, Akane catches up to him. She asks him if he will ever see Marika again? He says that he doesn't know. Akane urges him to visit Marika anyway.

Later at school, Yuuta and Akane go to check on the flowers that they planted on the school grounds. They had all died.

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One day Ryou visits Marika at her house. Marika, wearing a green blouse with a peter pan collar, a black with white polka dot mini-skirt, and gray tights, shares with Ryou her collection of shoujo manga (girl's comics). Ryou is quite intrigued with reading the manga "Glass Mask". Marika wants to know why Ryou did not wear female attire today? He says that today he just didn't 'feel like it'. Ryou asks Marika if she still likes Parou, even though they did that to her (kissed her)? Marika doesn't answer.

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A few days after Tamura left the gift to Akane to deliver to Marika, Akane brings the gift to Marika at her home. The 'I'm sorry' gift from Parou to Marika was a modest collection of makeup items. Akane gives the bag of makeup to Marika. Later, when she is by herself, in her bedroom, Marika experiments with the makeup collection, and how to apply all the various items. She looks in the mirror and tells herself that she is pretty now. But her plushie friends tell her that she is actually ugly and dirty. Why ? Because you are grinning over remembering that kiss that Parou gave to you! Marika tells her friends that she doesn't want to feel guilt like that. The plushie friends tell Marika that she can't be a sweet and innocent princess anymore! Not after accepting that kiss!

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Next day at school, a 'girl' approaches Yuuta at their desk, and asks if they are Aoki-kun (Yuuta and Marika's last name)? Yuuta answers in the affirmative, then the girl comments on what a cute boy Yuuta is. The rumors are really
true ! We need to talk now ! Even though classes are about to begin, the girl takes Yuuta by the hand and leads
them outside. Both find themselves sitting on a low baseboard underneath a window.

The girl, dressed in the school's female uniform, a sailor suit, grins at Yuuta. She asks if is is true that you dress 'in drag' ? Yuuta wants to know who said that about themselves ? Another girl who knew you from elementary school told me. Yuuta says that they just want to be an ordinary girl, nothing more. Does Yuuta dress up as a girl ? A little.....I guess one could say that. The girl says that she just knew that was true. After all, she does it, too! Both of us are the same, we are both 'boys' who present as girls! The girl says that she is a little different in that she does not want to actually be a girl, because she acknowledges that she is already a boy. " Don't I look cute ? " , as she spins around, causing her mini-skirt to flutter. " Yeah! ", is all Yuuta says. Then Yuuta asks where she got that girl's uniform ? From their sister; they have three older sisters after all! They wear the girl's school uniform every day to school. The teachers have given up scolding, and everyone says that they look better this way. " You're amazing ", comments Yuuta. The girl challenges Yuuta with the comment that consenting to wear the male school uniform is like getting dressed for a funeral. Yuuta wholeheartedly agrees. The girl tells Yuuta that they should wear a girl's sailor suit to school, too! This because Yuuta is just so, so cute !

The girl finally introduces herself---
"I'm Natsume Satoshi from class 5. My boy's name is Tomochi Satoshi. What should I call you ?" "Marika"

Later, after school at Akane's home, Marika tells her experience at school with the 'strange girl' to Akane and Ryou. Akane did not know that Natsume was a boy. Marika says that they were really cute! Would it be bad to invite them over here Marika asks ? Akane says to go ahead and to do so. However, Ryou for some odd reason, objects to Natusme being around. Once again Ryou voices their complaint that the meeting of the three of them was in no way a product of fate.

That weekend, Marika and Tomochi meet each other out in public, both dressed in female attire. Marika is wearing a pretty woolen dress, a white jacket over it, a shoulder purse, black tights, and gray snow boots. Tomochi is wearing a girl's sweatshirt, a plaid mini-skirt, gray tights, and black overshoes. She is wearing a full length black coat. Upon first seeing her, Tomochi again tells Marika that she is 'super cute', and glad to see the girl version of themselves. The two girls go to McDonalds. Tomochi asks Marika if she wears makeup ? Yeah, just a little bit .... ! Does it look weird?
Not at all, it looks really nice. Tomochi next asks Marika if she has a boy that she likes? Marika becomes quite embarrassed and doesn't really give a definitive answer. But she asks about Tomochi's dating and social preference ? Tomochi answers that she is into mostly liking other girls, however, she would not rule out being with a guy. Tomochi says that she is popular with the guys at school, however, one does not know what the future will bring. Tomochi also says that they have a social and video presence on the Internet. Would Marika like to help her make a video together to post on social media? Marika becomes offended at the sexual implication of that, and says that she is going home now. Tomochi lets her go, once again commenting to themselves how adorable Marika is!

At home, Marika talks things over with her bedroom friends. The friends point out how conflicted Marika is between meeting Tomochi, and but knowing and having kissed Parou. Marika tells herself that she is a failure as a princess. She asks for reconciliation from the friends, but they are all silent.

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A few days later, Marika goes to visit Ryou. She goes dressed in a pretty sweater, and girl's casual pants. Ryou comments that this is the first time they have seen Marika not wearing a skirt or dress. The two exchange a brief conversation, with sort of a meeting-of-the-minds taking place. Then Marika announces that she is going to go now. Back at home, Marika again questions her plushie friends about Parou and the kiss, but they are not all that encouraging.

Next day at school, Tomochi is dressed in the girl's school uniform, as always. They want to know if Yuuta is going to change over to wearing the girl's school uniform, seeing as they do not like wearing the male uniform? Yuuta says that they don't think they would look good in the girl's uniform. Yuuta goes on to say that they want to become a girl because they wanted to be a Princess. But now being a princess seems unlikely. Tomochi says that she just doesn't get it about Yuuta. Yuuta goes on to say that they feel as if they have a broken heart. Tomochi's response to that comment is to offer to go out with Yuuta, for the two of them to begin dating. Yuuta is flustered and quite taken aback. Tomochi thinks that it would be fun for the two of them to regularly date and go out together dressed as cute girls. Yuuta is not so sure.

Walking home together, Tomochi tells Yuuta that they don't really want to transition to that of a girl, so that must be why they can't relate to Yuuta's burning desire to actually be a girl. Tomochi says that they dress as a girl because they like how it feels, nothing more. Actually being a girl does not really matter to them. Yuuta is puzzled by that statement. Tomochi next addresses Yuuta as their girl name of Marika, asking if Marika is different in their understanding of what it is to be a girl? Marika answers that she is not cross-dressing at the times that she is dressed as a girl ! Instead, she is cross-dressed right now, since she is wearing the male school uniform at this moment. Marika silently ponders to herself---A chest that won't grow bigger, that strange object between my legs, the discomfort that is felt about this body, those are very important problems to try and solve. I'm reminded of these problems whenever I look in the mirror, whenever I touch my body.

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FLASHBACK---When was it that she first felt this way ? In a flashback, Marika remembers as a young male child pointing to a young girl wearing a dress, and telling Mom that they want to wear that. Mom says that skirts and dresses are only worn by girls. Mom also tells young Yuuta to say 'Boku' (masculine), not Watashi (feminine). But mommy says Watashi?!? Mommy is a girl. But Yuuta is a girl, too! No, you're not. Yet Yuuta was so insistent, that Mom actually let Yuuta wear girl's clothes at home before they entered Kindergarten. At about this time, Yuuta met Akane. They both would play together wearing pretty dresses. But when it came time to send Yuu-chan to school, Yuu-chan would not wear boy's shorts, and insisted on being able to wear a dress to school. But Yuu-chan was forced to wear boy's clothes to school. Often, they would come home from school very distressed and crying from the insults and cat-calls thrown at them from other kids, because they were such a feminine looking, feminine acting boy. Tearfully, Yuu-chan would ask over and over why they are a boy, and not a girl ? Mom's only half-baked and evasive answer was that she loved Yuu-chan no matter what. That's all! As the school years rolled on, the bullying became all the more frequent. So much so that Yuu-chan sadly consented to wear boy's shorts to class. Swim class was the worst, because Yuu-chan felt it was so wrong to go out with boy's swim trunks and a bare chest. He wanted to wear the girl's swimsuit that covered one's chest.

One time in high school, Yuuta got to meet a very beautiful woman. What a surprise when the woman said that she was supposedly born as and used to be perceived as a man. Yuuta thought that she was absolutely beautiful ! Later that day, Yuuta told mom that they want to be just like that woman. Yuuta also told their childhood friend, Akane about wanting to begin transitioning to being a girl. Yuuta asked Akane if they could borrow her girl's clothes to wear? Akane said yes, and that they could also borrow her sister's clothes, too ! So began the temporary male appearance at school, but the genuine girl appearance at home. And Marika started to look up on the Internet how to further transition to being an
authentic girl. Eventually, that is what lead to her meeting Yui and Parou that time in the cafe.
Marika / Yuuta would tell themselves over and over---this body is not mine, this body is not mine! (END FLASHBACK)

Next time Marika met with Ryou, Marika had her hair cut short, into an attractive girl's style pixie cut. Does it look weird? No ! Marika was not sure that it was an improvement in her looks, but Ryou assures her that she looks exceptionally cute now. Marika also tells Ryou that she is going to break from spending time with Tomochi, as Ryou seems to be a more important friend to her. Marika also asks for Ryou's help in her seeing Parou again. She wants the three of them to continue to meet together.

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Click on Section 2 to be taken to the next section of the story