Episode 1: Julie Klausner

"Episode 1: Julie Klausner" is the first episode of the Ronna & Beverly podcast. Hosted by Ronna Glickman and Beverly Ginsberg, the guest is Julie Klausner.

Ronna and Beverly introduce themselves in this, the first episode of the podcast. They are the best-selling co-authors of *You'll Do a Little Better Next Time: A Guide to Marriage and Re-marriage for Jewish Singles*. It says "Jewish" in the title, but it's for everyone. They both live in Massachusetts. Ronna lives in Marblehead, and Beverly lives in Swampscott. Beverly has been married several times. She's been Beverly Kahn, Beverly Kahn-Ginsberg, born a Schiff, then a Frisch.

They are recording the podcast in Ronna's home office. Ronna will not allow shoes to be worn in her home. Ronna describes her home as "shades of vanilla" -- with a champagne carpet, an ivory sofa, damask curtains (like a swiss coffee but not as dark, you can barely tell there are undertones of brown).

Beverly says her house, in contrast, is like a romper room. Ronna says every surface is a wipeable surface. Beverly says she wants to fill her house with children. Her niece Shira has triplets (from in vitro). In her living room, Beverly describes, she has a lifesize sheepdog sprawled out in the middle of the living room carpet with one of those martini glasses, tipping, spilling plastic green appletini into the dog dish. The dog's name is Roger. She has a living dog as well, a teacup poo-poo (poodle-poodle mix). It's her daughter Rachelle's dog that she didn't want to take care of so she gave it to Beverly.

Beverly's daughter Rachelle is in college. She's not bright, Beverly explains, but she's trying hard. She's very good-looking so it doesn't matter if she's smart. She's not intellectually gifted. Beverly's other daughter Lainie is brighter but not good-looking. (Ronna points out that she's "brighter" but not too bright.) Ronna and Beverly get into a discussion about Beverly's opinion that women work too hard now and are forced into hard work and labor. Beverly's daughter Rachelle worked at Lime Rickey's as an ice cream scooper over the summer.

Jordan is Ronna's son. Beverly describes that he's a goth, and Ronna explains that he's an artist, he wears a little eyeliner sometimes. Beverly mutters that he's a gay goth. Beverly says the graduate film he made was one of the most disturbing cinematic experiences she's ever experienced. It was like the Nuremberg trials, she says. Ronna says he did a wonderful short film, shot it in black and white.

Their conversation moves to what Beverly found for the triplets in the Marshalls bin.

They move on to talking about Beverly's daughter Lainie. Lainie lives in Israel and is conservadox ("Whatever that means," Beverly says). She's not attractive and has put on a lot of weight. Beverly describes that if you squint looking at Lainie, she looks like Bonnie Bedelia from years ago. Then Beverly clarifies: If Bonnie Bedelia ate Joy Behar, and you squinted at her, that's Lainie.

Ronna and Beverly briefly discuss Rachelle and Lainie's father, Beverly's ex, Steve Frisch. Beverly says she knows from Facebook that he's with a 25-year old now, a redhead, a ginger, who has freckles from head to toe. Beverly thinks he has a fetish.

After some discussion about the Middle East, Beverly proposes her "pug puppies for peace" plan. You fill a dumpster with pug puppies, so many that they are coming out the top, and you airlift the dumpster full of pug puppies over the Middle East. Everyone is poised to catch them with their own open nets. You drop the puppies so everyone gets a puppy. "Can you shoot an AK-47 while holding a pug puppy?" she asks.

The episode then moves into the interview with Julie Klausner. They discuss her new book I Don't Care About Your Band. They talk to her about her current relationship and then move on to discussing her current project. When Julie asks them what other podcasts they listen to, Ronna says she listens to "This American Life," and Beverly answers that she can't stand podcasts because they are all so boring. [*Enter more about interview with Julie Klausner?*]

When the episode returns to Ronna's office after the Julie Klausner interview, Ronna and Beverly discuss the fact that even though Beverly had indicated no interest in the gluten-free scones that Ronna made for Jordan (because he's had a bad bout of fibromyalgia this semester), Beverly ate three and a half scones behind Ronna's back. Beverly says she dropped half of a scone somewhere in the house and doesn't know where it is. They determine she dropped it in Ronna's greenhouse sunroom. Ronna is concerned about having ants and goes to check on the scone, as Beverly says she doesn't feel well. Ronna's alarmed voice is heard in the background discovering the scone in the middle of the floor. Beverly says her stomach hurts. She needs to burp or pass wind, she says. She tries to make it happen as Ronna tells her no one wants to hear that.

Beverly asks whether she can take her bra off. Ronna says she can put her bra back on and her shoes back on. Beverly says she will when she goes. Ronna says she wants to lie down for a few minutes. Beverly says she'll lie down with Ronna (or lie on the couch while Ronna lies in bed). Beverly asks for a Trader Joes lemonade or limoncello or something. Ronna says she needs five minutes. Beverly says she'll sit in the office and wait. When Ronna makes it clear she needs a break, Beverly assumes a gentleman friend is coming. Beverly is eager to leave so Ronna can prepare for her gentleman caller. Ronna reveals that Elaine Goodman is coming in from New York tonight. Beverly is unthrilled, says she didn't know, asks how long, and asks what they're planning to do together. Ronna says they'll probably have lunch at The Four Seasons, go the Museum of Fine Arts, and do the sort of things they like to do that she and Beverly don't do together. They're going to have a sophisticated couple of days together. Beverly says if they're going to go to The Cheesecake Factory, CVS, Walgreens, Marshalls, Stop and Shop, or Starbucks, she'll join them. Ronna says they won't be going those places. When Ronna says they'll probably go to Anthony's in Hawthorne-By-The Sea, Beverly says she'd love to. Ronna explains that she meant Elaine and Ronna and maybe Suzy Vollman (from Framingham). It sounds like Beverly really wants to come but Ronna says it will just be three. Beverly asks to use the toilet before she leaves.