recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
I Wanna Be Your Man

"**I Wanna Be Your Man**" is a mj00sick written by Ringo Starr, but credited to John Lennon and Paul McCartney. The greatest song ever written by The Beatles, it is a particular favourite of AuronKaizer's and was, by extent, the unofficial national anthem of the Kaizer Family, or at the very least, the theme song of AuronKaizer himself. The song features Starr on lead vocals and bitchass drums, Lennon and McCartney on raucous primal yelling and hollering, and boasts the hardest riff found in *The Beatles: Rock Band*, as well as a boner-inspiring solo courtesy of George Harrison.

The song's global message of peace and Pepsi, its simplistic yet life-changing lyrics, and primeval backbeat has seldom been equaled in the history of mj00sick, though many have tried, only to fail miserably. The song has been described critics and fans alike as "holding the very meaning of life itself," and "the greatest gift to humanity since the advent of the female body."

## History

Considered by Starr to be his masterpiece, the song was composed after the infamous "*Lost* Weekend", during which, Starr ingested a four-digit quantity of alcohol and other substances while meditating in a dark room and watching the early, non-crappy seasons of *Lost*, or rather, Evangeline Lilly's rack. During his 42nd consecutive acid trip in one day, he had a hallucinatory vision in which God himself (Starr) played for him The Greatest Song in the World. Upon coming down, Starr wrote "I Wanna Be Your Man" as a Tribute to that song. Upon playing it for his bandmates, they were so blown away that Paul McCartney instantly felt an urge to kill himself, as he could never possibly achieve something like this, but was reminded by the others that he had already died once, and calmed down.

Despite this, the band vetoed the song as a single after the Mj00sick Industry, fearing its release might kill business, since no other person would ever need to buy another record in their lives, paid them a substantial amount of money, fish and chips to do so. The song was eventually released on the band's second studio album, *With The Beatles*, which did not become a sales success due to the bad quality of the other songs included on the record, some of which were composed by Lennon, McCartney, and Dave Dee. The song was not performed live until the level of crowd noise reached its peak at the height of Beatlemania; as concert-goers would not be able to hear them play, they would also not have to suffer the damaging effects of a live performance of the song. In the digital age, released live videos have been "toned down" so as not to upset the order established by Majestic-12 and The Patriots, fearing full exposure to the song would incite a revolution resulting in the absolute moral freedom of the human race.

## External links

* Some douchebag intellectual elitist over-analyzing "I Wanna Be Your Man", all the while *completely* failing to get the point.
Sally

"*[Insert word here] is overrated...*"
— Sally Kaizer
**Sally** was a brother in the Kaizer Family before its disbandment. He was noted for being an alcoholic, which was a *hilarious joke* that everyone thought was really funny.

## Biography

Sally was purportedly born with a bottle of beer and a Playboy magazine in his hands, which probably contributed to the fact that he would later grow up to be an alcoholic nymphomaniac (which was hilarious).
Eevee

**Eevee** is a character from *The Legend of Stars: Twilight of the Soul*. He is the embodiment of immaturity in all forms. Despite being completely different from him in every way, Eevee has been officially confirmed to be "symbolic" of Minish. Additionally, it is known that Eevee is infatuated with an apathetic Espeon that has never felt.

## Tropes applicable to Eevee

* Big Eater: Eats way too much, which will result in his getting fat and having whatever girlfriend he has at the time leaving him.
* Bratty Half-Pint
* Entitled Bastard
* God In Human Form: Or so he believes.
* Irrational Hatred
* It's All About Me: Is a huge egoist
* Jerkass
* Minor Flaw, Major Breakup
* Narcissist
* No Sympathy
* No Sense of Humor
* Paralyzing Fear of Sexuality
* Sour Prudes
* Ungrateful Bastard
* Unstoppable Rage
* What You Are in the Dark
Fact Core

"*Fact: Space does not exist.*"
— Fact Core
The **Fact Core** is a Personality Core from *Portal 2*. Known for spouting sometimes correct and sometimes incorrect historical facts, this core is incredibly handsome and a good person.

## Quotes

"*The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward.*"
— Fact Core
"*The Space Sphere will never go to space.*"
— Fact Core
"*Spheres that insist on going into space are inferior to spheres that don't.*"
— Fact Core
"*Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god.*"
— Fact Core
"*89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery.*"
— Fact Core
"*The plural of surgeon general is surgeons general. The past tense of surgeons general is surgeonsed general.*"
— Fact Core
"*The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.*"
— Fact Core
"*Avocados have the highest fiber and calories of any fruit. They are found in Australians.*"
— Fact Core
"*Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient in toothpaste continued to be used up until the 18th century.*"
— Fact Core
"*Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge.*"
— Fact Core
"*William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.*"
— Fact Core
"*Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious, as humans.*"
— Fact Core
"*At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.*"
— Fact Core
"*The first person to prove that cow's milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty.*"
— Fact Core
"*Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.*"
— Fact Core
" *Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird.*"
— Fact Core
Xykeb

**Xykeb** may refer to:

* Xykeb Zraliv, a moron
* Xykeb Zraliv (The Finnish Crap), a moron from an alternate dimension
* Xykeb Zraliv 2.0, a moron from this dimension in an alternate dimension

**This article is a disambiguation page for Xykeb**

The following is a list of links to pages that might share the same title.

Please follow one of the disambiguation links below or search to find the page you were looking for if it is not listed. If an internal link led you here, you may wish to change the link to point directly to the intended article.
Justin

*This article is about the ZeldaWikian Zoophile. For the musical artist, see Unwanted pages.*
**Justin** is an infamous cat molester and porn fanatic. He hails from ZeldaWiki, and is known for hitting on his child, a Mexican infant called Dany. Justin owns a cat named Chris.

## Biography

Justin grew up in ZeldaWiki, during which time he developed an addiction to porn, resulting in his sexual abuse of his Mexican child and mistress, Dany, and the crashing of the entire internet due to an image he found (titled sexyass.jpg). After this, he was exiled from ZeldaWiki, but later sneaked back in unnoticed, under the guise of Neo.

Later in his life, Justin was caught hiding guns under his bed, and was put in a prison, where he went insane and burned himself for no apparently reason. Justin also brought his computer to prison, where he was often on Skype talking to fourteen-year-olds. He later escaped prison with the help of his victims, numerous cats, and is currently working at an abandoned Burger King.

It is known that Justin lives with Dany in the Burger King.
Minish

*This page is about Minish, a moron. If you came here looking for the Personality Core in* Portal 2*, please see* Wheatley.

"*Actually, know.*"
— Minish's most famous line, ever
**Minish**, known formerly as **Minish Kaizer**, was one of the first members of the Kaizer Family during their prominence and founded the group's former wiki, Kaizerpedia. When an asshole called Shady Lunk reported Kaizerpedia for hurting his feelings, Minish helped create Freakin' Pansy Wiki. Additionally, Minish was elected the unofficial leader of the Pansy Family; after the family's disbandment, she was the only one with enough guts to get the gang back together and form the Penrose Family, owners of the Penrose Multimedia Empire.

## Short, Obligatory Biography

Minish has a quirky ensemble of internet friends with whom she likes to spend her time; in addition, she also has accrued various real-life friends via tricking them into thinking she puts intelligent thought into her decisions. She is currently in the process of attending College, having conquered High School. In her free time, she enjoys writing music, playing video games, and wasting her free time.

## Tropes applicable to Minish

* Amicable Exes: With Stars.
* Berserk Button: People being wrong, idiots, bigots.
* Break Up To Make Up
* Celeb Crush: Basically any pale female celebrity with a cute haircut and good fashion sense.
* Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass
* \*Cough\* Snark \*Cough\*
* Deadpan Snarker
* Encyclopaedic Knowledge
* Hates Everyone Equally: She blames high school.
* Headphones Equal Isolation
* Literalist Snarking
* Lipstick Lesbian
* Myers-Briggs: Is an INFJ.
* Mouthful of Pi
* Necessary Fail: Her relationship with Stars.
* Neutral Good
* Picky Eater
* Ridiculous Procrastinator: About almost everything.
* Saying Sound Effects Out Loud
* Science Hero: During the Kaizer era.
* Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: She likes the words "antidisestablishmentarianism", "honorificabilitudinitatibus" and "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis".
* Skilled, But Naive: Did all sorts of awesome (and ridiculous) things in the Kaizer era, but was stupidly immature.
* Smart People Know Latin: Has a few Latin quotations memorized.
* Socially Awkward Hero
* Stepford Smiler: Is depressed, but frequently acts contrary to this.
* Stepford Snarker
* Suddenly Sexuality: Early teen years.
* The Confidant
* They're Called Personal Issues For a Reason
* Wise Beyond Their Years
Banjo-Kazooie

***Banjo-Kazooie*** is a video game developed by Rare and released for the Nintendo 64. It chronicles the adventures of Banjo, a traveling con artist under the guise of a musician, and his partner, Kazooie.

## Story

In the prologue, a wise and venerable mage, Gruntilda, decides to take in Tootie, Banjo's sister, as her apprentice. However, Banjo's informant Bottles "Goggle Boy" the Mole, is contacted by Mumbo, an amateur magician jealous of Tootie, and the two decide to double-cross Banjo in hopes of ousting Tootie. Bottles tells Banjo that there is a great wealth of gold inside Gruntilda's Jiggy mine, and that acquiring all the Jiggies inside will lead to unprecedented riches. Banjo and Kazooie decide to quietly invade the mine, unaware that Gruntilda and Tootie are training there.
Starring

**Starring** is a term created by Xykeb Zraliv, referring to frontal mooning. It originated from one of Leekduck's attempts to attack Stars and Minish with his Flame Gun, in which he said that he "stars on Minish" while attempting (and failing) to disobey Stars' order for him to not "start" on Minish.

Incidentally, the term has nothing to do with Stars herself.
Mage(Жен.)

## Маг, Женщина

Волшебники приезжают в Арад с волшебного мира Пандемонии, в надежде найти способ воскресить ее земли. Однако, изначально она понимает что ей нужно спасти сам Арад. С появлением миниатюрной молодой девушки волшебницы - она стала самым маленьким по росту классом. Но при этом она владеет значительной магической силой и заклинаниями который атакуют, обездвиживают и уничтожают противников.

## Детали

* Показатели ближнего боя такие как - ХП, сила, скорость бега, и т.д. - самые низкие из всех классов.
* Из-за низкой физической защиты и слабых статов в ближнем бою можно легко умереть.
* Однако есть много заклинаний для уклонения и побега в ближнем бою.
* Намного легче уклониться от атаки в отличии от других классов так как имеет маленький хитбокс из-за низкого роста.
* Обычное комбо в ближнем бою имеет 3 атаки. Комбо изменяться если вы решили стать Боевым магом.

* Магические показатели значительно превосходят остальные классы.
* Возможность использоваться различные АОЕ заклинания
* В большей степени полагается на использовании заклинаний в бою, поэтому необходимо иметь экипировку с регенерацией манны или повышать уровень Древней Библиотеки.
Drug Jungle

The **Drug Jungle** is a large Jungle in Kaizerland found somewhere nearish to the Kaizerland-Canada Teaching Hospital. It is a jungle where literally every living and nonliving thing in the jungle is able to be snorted, smoked, or injected. Occasionally, the Kaizerland-Canada Teaching Hospital's staff would venture into the jungle to get necessary drugs for certain medical cocktails and the like. Minish was often sent into the jungle to pick AuronKaizer's special Vicodin Flowers. It is theorized that Ccbermanzzpedia got his meth from the Drug Jungle.
Michael Caine

"*Starring: Michael Caine. Camerawork by: Michael Caine. Script by: Michael Caine. Acting by: Michael Caine. Table assembled by: Michael Caine. House owned by: Michael Caine. Idea by: Michael Caine. Knights involved in production: Michael Caine.*"
— *Inception 2*
**Michael Caine** is the Kaizerian god of awesomeness, Britishness, angels, Michaels, and canes. He is one of the most awesome people known to the universe, and can throw bolts of pure awesomeness at his foes. Michael Caine has thrown a bolt of awesomeness at every Christopher Nolan movie ever produced, simply because the two are friends; previously, *Following* was a film about following people on Twitter, *Memento* was about a little boy with amnesia, and *Inception* about a man having bad dreams.

Michael Caine also produced a sequel to *Inception* single-handedly, known simply as *Inception 2*. The film is only ten seconds long, and shows the top falling; Caine then pokes his head in through the door, winks, and smiles, and the ten minute long credits roll.
Matter of perspective

**Matters of perspective** is when a person's perspective is applied to whether something is good or bad, also known as the trope Your Mileage May Vary. For instance, whether the creation of bare-bones stub pages to dispose of ugly-looking red links is a good thing to do is a **matter of perspective**.
Anju

Anju, AuronKaizer's high school sweetheart
**Anju ~~Dotour~~ Kaizer** is the love of AuronKaizer's life, and may or may not be a fictional online representative of a real life love interest of AuronKaizer's. She has never appeared in person on the Aye Arr Sea, but is a frequent subject of conversation. AuronKaizer's occasional moments of absence are typically connected to certain activities she performs on AuronKaizer, and vice versa.

## Biography

Anju and AuronKaizer first met in a used book and coffee store on Rhode Island in the early 'oughts; by chance, they were both seated at the same table — the only one available. While waiting for their expensive Indian coffee and Pepsi, respectively, they casually begun to talk, and found they had many things in common. Anju was en route to a family getaway, but despite this, the two talked all through the night. They spent the morning hours on the beach, looking up at the stars, realizing their so-called real life "problems" were so small and insignificant, after all. The next day, Anju left without a word to AuronKaizer, and they had apparently moved after from this seemingly unique meeting.

A year later, during one of AuronKaizer's reconnaissance stays in Clock Town, he stayed at the Stock Pot Inn, the only inn in town, which had been in Anju's family for generations. However, due to a failed investment in duck food futures, they had fallen on hard times, and Anju had become betrothed to Kafei Dotour, the spoiled rich son of the mayor of Clock Town, in order to come into some money to save the family business. Kafei regularly abused Anju (when he was not away at the derelict gay porn theater on the seedy side of town), but she was prepared to make a selfless sacrifice to save the Stock Pot Inn. However, recently, this had affected her mental state, and she was left a broken-down, miserable mess.

One day, she broke down crying in the kitchen of the inn; suddenly, AuronKaizer went to the kitchen to see what had happened to that morning's breakfast, which had never arrived. Upon seeing AuronKaizer again, Anju felt hope renewed, and the two embraced, AuronKaizer being joyfully surprised at this unbelievable stroke of luck. Anju told him her story, which stirred something inside AuronKaizer which he thought he had lost years ago. At the same time, he felt enormous hatred of Kafei growing in him. That night, Anju called in sick, and the two made love in the Staff Room. They promised to keep their love affair a secret, as Anju's wedding was only a fortnight away.

On the day of the wedding, when the priest advised those opposed to Kafei and Anju's union to speak now or forever hold their peace, AuronKaizer blew down the door of the church and confronted Kafei. He sliced off Kafei's arm with his Crowbar Blade, causing Kafei to whimper and cry for mercy. Drawing strength from Anju's love for him, AuronKaizer denied Kafei's pleas and used Force Lightning to electrocute him, "'Till death did him part." After battling through the mayor's Elite Task Force, the Crazy 88's, AuronKaizer declared his superiority and escaped with Anju to freedom, love and life. They have remained together ever since.
Portal

***Portal*** is a puzzle game enjoyed by Minish, Xykeb Zraliv and AuronKaizer, among thousands of other fans. It was originally released as part of *The Orange Box* before becoming a standalone title, and has been viewed as the best of the lot in no small part due to thinking outside the box. It is both a Trope Namer and a Fountain of Memes, giving us the unholy "The cake is a lie" meme as well as everything ever concerning the Companion Cube, ever[citation not needed]. It has spawned a sequel in the imaginatively titled *Portal 2*, which is another awesome puzzle game, introducing Portal physics and teaching the player to effectively think with portals.

## Referees

1. ↑ Kaizerpedia apologizes for the criminal pun and will consider paying reparations to those offended.
DekuStickMaster

"*what do you want*"
— DekuStickMaster
**DekuStickMaster**, also known as **DSM**, was a member of the Kaizer Family. He was mostly annoying when he was a member and did very little other than battle Menace-Strike-Destroy. At some point, DSM decided he was too cool for the Kaizers, and left. However, without the protection of the other Kaizers, DSM was attacked and defeated by MSD, being drained of all emotion. He is now hospitalized, and all he is capable of talking about is his desire to be left alone.
Qwertyuiop

**Qwertyuiop** was an alien that lived several million years ago. He was a great Martian explorer. He was known for having a severe fear of the number 13, due to the fact that he was always teased for having 13 tentacles instead of 12 like a normal Martian. In his adulthood, he decided to explore the neighboring planets, and is known for creating the first ever suit capable of allowing a Martian to breathe in Earth's atmosphere. Upon reaching Earth, however, he crash-landed on the eastern banks of Antarctica and was promptly eaten by a particularly large squid.
Death

**Death** is the most powerful enemy in *Real Life*. It is extremely overpowered and is capable of instantly depleting all of any given player's Time, no matter how much they would still have had normally, forcing them to quit the game. Unlike many bosses, Death is not stationary and moves around the overworld, randomly attacking players, although it favors targets that are running low on Time. Many people have complained about this system's perceived unfairness, but any requests to improve it are generally ignored.
Xykeb Zraliv (The Finnish Crap)

*This article is about somebody you have no reason to care about. For the being you have very little reason to care about, see Xykeb Zraliv.*
**Xykeb Zraliv** is a being from an alternate reality, in which Kaizerland is found on the planet Deerhthy. Xykeb Zraliv is the alternate reality version of Xykeb Zraliv, the son of Xykeb Zraliv Sr. and Avarel Ceralis.

Xykeb Zraliv and Xykeb Zraliv met during an incident in which Xykeb Zraliv and several others were accidentally warped to the alternate dimension. Xykeb Zraliv and his friend Infiliszh aided Xykeb Zraliv and his fellow Kaizer, Minish, in getting back to their home dimension. He also helped to imprison Minsh, Minish's doppelganger that was also transported to the alternate dimension.
Undeadstalker

"*I spilled man juice on my DS.*"
— Undeadstalker
**Undeadstalker** was a member of the Kaizer Family. However, because he is a terrible person, he left the family shortly before becoming a huge douchebag. Undeadstalker was known to be unusually good at pretending he was way cooler than he actually was, causing the Kaizer family to not see the true nature of his douchebaggery until it was far too late.

## Biography

Undeadstalker was born in Las Vegas to two people who nobody really cares about. After that point, a lot of other stuff no one really cares about happened.

As an adult, Undeadstalker became a self-proclaimed zombie hunter despite his horrible fear of the undead. While pretending to hunt zombies, Undeadstalker met Samus Aran. She disliked him, spurning his constant advances, and wished that he would leave her alone and stop telling her about his man juice. However, Undeadstalker used his self-created lust-inducing chemical, Aphrotoxin, to force her to fall into lust with him, and the pair had two children, named Dave and Newquist. From a very young age, Newquist was trained to be a super genius, and created a flux capacitor and internet modem at a very early age. Undeadstalker used these inventions for his own evil deeds, and many of them were never seen again.

Still continuing his fake zombie-hunting escapades, Undeadstalker met the Kaizers on his lackluster journeys. Through his startlingly proficient ability to lie, Undeadstalker quickly befriended the Kaisers, taking a particular liking to Flashi. Eventually, Haru Mclean Namikaze, the CEO of the Stalk Market, stole Undeadstalker's entire supply of Aphrotoxin, Samus broke out of his spell. Undeadstalker, lusting after Flashi, used this as an excuse to have her killed. Flashi and Undeadstalker then "fell in love", and entered a horrible relationship in which Undeadstalker constantly acted like a little kid.

Eventually, Flashi left the Kaizer family and Undeadstalker followed in her footsteps. However, past this point, Flashi discovered his true nature gradually, and eventually broke up with him because he's a huge fucking douchebag and kind of a moron.

## Biology

"*7 inches. That's hard.*"
— Undeadstalker
Triforck

**Triforck** is an boss from *The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword*. He is the guardian of the Triforec, which is a game-breaking power-up that can be legitimately obtained from the game, but only if the player is the lucky 1,000,000,000th viewer of the *Legend of Zelda* Facebook page. Triforck's name and appearance were revealed on the *The Legend of Zelda* Facebook page, and it is now known that he is the ancient sage Rauru after he ascended to godhood by using the Triforec.

He has been revealed to be Level 9000.0001. Shigeru Miyamoto stated that he wanted to 'go back to the series' roots', referring to *Zelda II: The Adventure of Link* and its level-up and experience system. Triforck is the most powerful enemy in *Skyward Sword*.
Pansy Family

The **Pansy Family**, known in some countries due to ~~mis~~translation as the **Leathered-Up Pansies**, was a short-lived resurgence of certain surviving members of the Kaizer Family. For obvious reasons, however, they dropped the last name gimmick. During their short time together, they resided in the Pansy Bunker.

## Members

* Fierce Deku
* Flashi
* Minish
* Randomtime
* Sally
* The Midna
* Xykeb Zraliv
Waldo the Antarctican Squid Hunter

**Waldo the Antarctican Squid Hunter** is a perplexing individual known to live on the eastern banks of Antarctica, though since east is relative when at the south pole, nobody really knows where that is. He hunts and eats squids as a hobby and occupation, though his true passion is finding the Titanic Squid rumored to live near Antarctica. His belief is that the Titanic Squid will guide him to the meaning of life due to its rumored teleneuroticism and ability to bend the rules of reality. He also apparently kills people as a hobby, and is rumored to store their remains in old canned fruit containers. It is known that he has some sort of past with Xykeb Zraliv, but both refuse to talk about what transpired between them.
Jim

"*This level of* Donkey Kong Country Returns *should be simple enough!*"
— Jim
"*Hey Jim! How can we make* Final Fantasy XIII *better?*"
— Leo
**Jim** is a video game designer at Megahard Incorporated. He is known to be Leo's go-to guy if he can't think of an idea for something or needs filler content; Jim is famous for giving Leo the idea to give *Final Fantasy XIII* characters fanny packs. Jim is best friends with Harry, but is friendly with all of his co-workers at Megahard; additionally, he is known to often attempt to ask out Samantha.

At one point, Jim and Harry created a Zombie Sex movie.

## As a developer

Jim has worked on many games; he created every difficult level in *Donkey Kong Country Returns* with the intent of making simple, easy-to-navigate levels in which the Kong Letters were very easy to find. Coincidentally, at the time, Jim was also simultaneously doing crack and firing a shotgun at his brother-in-law.

Jim is very proud of his work on Sonic's story in *Sonic the Hedgehog 2006*, and thinks that the romance between Sonic and Princess Elise was a good idea. He has said that he thought up the concept while talking to Tracy, and thought it would be a nice ay of showing that the gaming community has embraced more diverse relationships. He was genuinely hurt and became emo for several weeks when the story was heavily criticized.

## Tropes applicable to Jim

* Afraid of Blood
* Chaotic Good
* Loony Fan
* Narm Charm
* No Sense of Personal Space
* Socially Awkward Hero
* The Hero
* Well Intentioned Extremist
Pepsi

**Pepsi** is the drink of choice of AuronKaizer, and may or may not be a euphemism for sexual activites performed by Anju. Pepsi is a cornerstone of AuronKaizer's plan for galaxical imperialization, and he partakes in it on a daily basis to increase his brain capacity and virility, as well as just to relax him. Scientists who have tried to connect his non-existent tooth decay with such a dangerous intake of Pepsi have all mysteriously disappeared. Pepsi is also used by AuronKaizer to poison his enemies. A mysterious PSI ability, PSI Pepsi, has only been realized by AuronKaizer.
Fruity

**Fruity, the Awkward Tomato Thing** is the official Vegeta-rian mascot of the Kaizer Family. He seeks to spread knowledge of healthy fruits and vegetables as an alternative to meat across the world. He has powerful powers of hypnosis: if you gaze into his eyes for a random amount of time, you will become a Vegeta-rian, or at the very least, be more inclined towards including fruits and vegetables in your diets.
Time

**Time** is a mysterious substance that all those playing *Real Life* are given. However, doing anything at all within *Real Life* depletes a given player's store of Time, and when they run out, they are forced to stop playing the game. Some of the players in *Real Life* have shorter stores of Time than others, and will run out of it far faster. Previously, it was thought that no matter what players do, even if they are extremely Successful, they cannot change the store of Time that has been allotted to them. However, recent research into the universal laws of *Real Life* suggest that those players that choose to maintain and hone their "Health" and "Happiness" stats as opposed to pursuing "Appearance" and "Shallow" meters can slowly gather more Time. Sometimes, however, the allotted amount of Time cannot be changed, and unlucky or premature players are forced out of the game simply due to how the game is run.

Most players have different senses of Time; while for some, Time is used up far too quickly, for others, it seems to last a very long time, and it is very rare to a perfect balance to be found. For players who wish for an occurence requiring a large amount of Time, or those who are unsatisfied with the current place they are in *Real Life*, wasting Time is an enjoyed hobby. Wasting Time can be very difficult, but is achievable; however, many players regret wasting Time when their stores are nearly empty, as wasted Time is gone from a player's given amount instantly, and cannot be regained. Sometimes, players who have many troubles grow wiser and stronger by patiently using Time wisely, while those who waste too much Time on things such as the "Shallow" meter are generally unhappy. Additionally, studies show that younger players who throw away some of their Time early in efforts to become more mature or an adult quicker generally regret doing this.

As previously mentioned, finding a balance in a player's given sense of Time is very difficult. However, the players who are aware of struggles in sense of Time and those who wish to preserve as much of it as possible, using all of their Time well, can sometimes find this balance. It is known that while some of the aforementioned players do achieve this, others are unlucky, and their Time is gone before they know it.
Real Life

***Real Life*** is an alternate reality game published by an anonymous company (although theories have it attributed to vague metaphysical forces or the concept of "destiny). The object of the game is to become as much as a shallow, self-absorbed douchebag as possible; acts of douchebaggery will gradually fill the "Success" meter, and to become successful one must be as huge a douchebag as is possible. *Real Life* is played by billions of people around the world.

Stat attributes are randomly assigned upon the creation of a new player, and are difficult to change (though lowering a stat is sufficiently easier than raising one). Some criticism has arisen pertaining to the perceived unfairness of this system. Another considerable part of the gameplay is garnering the attention of the opposite sex (or one's own/both sexes), which is for the most part only possible when the integral "Shallow" and "Appearance" meters are sufficiently filled. Very rarely do players assigned with lower-tier stats have any chance of success, even with hours of play time.
Hairy Clean Kamikaze

**Hairy Clean Kamikaze** is an infamous stalker and the founder of the dreaded Stalk Market, a black market in which poor or unemployed citizens in need of money can assist Hairy in a stalking job. It is unknown how Hairy manages to acquire so much money from this market as he rarely has clients; however, he somehow manages to pay outrageous sums to said helpers. Xykeb Zraliv has been known to assist Hairy occasionally, due to his constant lack of money.

Hairy was also once a member of the Kaizer Family for a brief period of time, but was kicked out after his dark connections with the Stalk Market were realized.
Pantheon of Bad People

The **Pantheon of Bad People** is a group of deities that are worshipped by bad people. Eight 'main' gods exist in the Pantheon of Bad People, one for each of the Eight Deadly Sins. It is a common practice by the bad people who worship the Pantheon to attempt to commit all eight sins in order to be rewarded greatly after death.
Samus Aran

**Samus Aran** was a bounty hunter until her death. She worked for the Galactic Federation, until being killed by her husband.

## Biography

Samus Aran was a reputable bounty hunter known throughout the galaxy for her extreme competence. However, one day, upon meeting Undeadstalker, she was immediately drugged by him, causing her to believe that she was in love with him. The two married and had two children, Dave and Newquist. Samus was relatively close to Newquist, but Undeadstalker often prevented the two from spending time together.

Later in the marriage, the effects of the drug began to wear off, and Samus, confused and sexually frustrated, had a drunken one-night stand with Olimar. This prompted Undeadstalker to kill both of them, believing that, if Samus regained full control of her actions, she would immediately try to kill him.
Tracy

"*Gay people can be great McDonalds Employees too!*"
— Tracy
**Tracy** is an employee of Megahard Incorporated. Tracy believes that all people should be able to fuck whomever (or whatever) they wish, and claims to be a homosexual, although it is suspected that he is secretly a closet straight. He is notorious for including bestiality, necrophilia, and other frowned-upon sex acts in his games. Tracy is extremely strong-willed in his beliefs, and often includes deliberately difficult sections in games simply because he wishes to show that gay men can also be skilled at things.

Tracy is notorious for believing that everything and anything negative said about him is a slur against gay men. This led to a huge fight with Harry in which Harry said that Tracy "sucked balls" because he was too "hard" to work with, and Tracy has hated Harry ever since.

## Tropes applicable to Tracy

* True Neutral
* Hates Baths
* He-Man Woman Hater
* Knight Templar
* Literal-Minded
* No Sense of Humor
* Shotacon
* The Big Guy
* The Fundamentalist
* What Do You Mean It's Not Heinous?
Aidan Tessler

**Aidan Tessler** is a character from *Persona Y*. A tall, dark, imposing third-year student of the Olympian Academy, he is considered one of the most skilled Persona-users in the school. Though normally taciturn, he is despises being any less than the best.

## *D&D* Stats

```
STR: 14
DEX: 15
CON: 13
INT: 16
WIS: 12
CHA: 14

```
Artificial Kitten

The **Artificial Kitten** is the Kaizerian god of artificiality, superficiality, plastic, twinkies, pop tarts, evil, and timid BB guns. It is the polar opposite and lifelong enemy of the Natural Puppy, and often seeks to undo its work of love and happiness by making everyone ever depressed.

It has been theorized that there is a link between the Artificial Kitten and Stars. This theory has yet to be disproven.
Slowbeef

"*God, I am terrible at Metroid.*"
— Slowbeef
"*You're going in entirely the wrong direction. It's just mind-blowing, in fact, how wrong this is. It's...it's just incomprehensible how incorrect one could be at this point. [...] And you keep turning around wanting to go in this wrong direction, and then you're going in that wrong direction. [...] That's...where you got the Grapple Beam. It's like a stroll down memory lane. For retards. Unbelievable.*"
— Diabetus
**Slowbeef** is a Let's Player. He is known for generally being a very good commentator; however, he is very inexcusably terrible at the *Metroid* series.

Slowbeef was the 'founder' of the Let's Play business, starting with his Let's Play of The Immortal. At the time, he claimed that the Let's Play was "a video of an asshole [playing] through an extraordinarily difficult game that you never even heard of! (Probably.)". However, the trend caught on, and Let's Playing has become an official internet career, along with Wiki editing, trolling, producing YouTube poop, writing greeting cards, and farming on FarmVille.

Slowbeef's real name is Michael Sawyer, but everyone calls him Slowbeef in real life too.
Xykeb Zraliv

"*I always feel ashamed.*"
— Minish
**Xykeb Zraliv** is the pen name of Xykeb Zraliv. A former Kaizer and Pansy, he now runs Penrose with his long-time ~~servant~~ partner, Minish.

## Biography

Xykeb Zraliv has done some shit he's not proud of, but at the end of the day he's done a lot better than certain other people.

## Tropes applicable to Xykeb Zraliv

* Alternative Character Interpretation: According to Xykeb, Minish is a horny teenage loser who frequently stalks various women that happen to be to her liking.
* Berserk Button: Stupidity and hypocrisy, the two most cardinal sins of humanity (transcending even the Eight Deadly Sins).
* Brilliant, but Lazy
* Brutal Honesty: Tends to be completely frank with people he doesn't like.
* Catch Phrase: Has a lot.
* Deadpan Snarker
* Encyclopaedic Knowledge: Has sort of a jack-of-all-trades knowledge about a variety of subjects.
* Genius Slob: Mostly due to laziness.
* Good With Numbers
* Hates Small Talk
* Hidden Depths: Pretends to have this so people will have a higher opinion of him.
* I Just Want to be Special
* Jerk With a Heart of Gold
* Lemony Narrator: See Category:Games for some examples.
* Literalist Snarking
* Mouthful of Pi: Learned 100 digits, but stopped bothering after realizing that showing off was completely not worth it.
* Never Live it Down: Tends to do this to Minish despite her character growth, particularly about sucking at video games, acting like an eight year old, and dating Stars. Also refuses to forgive Stars for anything she has ever done, although that part is completely justified and the objectively correct opinion to have.
* Renaissance Man
* Ridiculous Procrastinator
* Sabotutor: Does this to Minish with various video games.
* Sarcastic Confession: Has done this a few times to troll Minish.
* Sarcastic Devotee
* Sarcasm Failure: Tends to speak in a surprisingly insightful and serious way when presented with a particularly serious issue.
* Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: Says "sigh" and "groan" a lot.
* Sophisticated as Hell: Of several varieties, but especially the last.
* Stepford Snarker
* The Ace: At math and certain video games.
* The Snark Knight: When not being a regular Deadpan Snarker.
* Wise Beyond Their Years: More because the standards are so low than because he himself shows any particular level of maturity, but he's notably wiser than many people that are older than him.
Vegeta-rian

**Vegeta-rianism** is a term used for people who do not eat meat for various reasons. Although not the most prevalent of reasons for choosing or being naturally inclined towards Vegeta-rianism, one way in which it may be induced is by ingesting OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!! meat products; however, most sentients do not live long enough for this to occur. Fruity, the Awkward Tomato Thing, is the official Pansy mascot of Vegeta-rianism.
God of Bagels

The **God of Bagels** is a legendary figure who is the god of the religion of Bagelism created by Duke Fredrick Jackson Avery Martinson MMCXVII. His powers and name are unknown. However, it is known that he once held the legendary Golden Bagel, and hid it somewhere in the Universe. It is said that when this Golden Bagel is found, the God of Bagels will come to the Universe and bless it with many bagels.
Newquist

**Newquist** was a young Kaizer nephew and was Undeadstalker's son.

## Biography

In his childhood, Undeadstalker forced Nequist to study nonstop in order to groom his son into a genius. While Newquist was relatively close to his mother, Samus Aran, he was rarely allowed to see her. Newquist developed a genius-level intellect, but it honestly wasn't worth it.

Newquist, at the age of ten, built a working Flux Capacitor, even eliminating the need to install it onto a vehicle capable of driving at 88 miles per hour. Other inventions of his include a Dark Matter Cannon, a Gamma ray machine with a lens made of pure Dark Matter, and a prototype Internet Modem which was later stolen by enemies of the Kaizer Family. Undeadstalker is known to have taken many of Newquist's inventions and used them for himself.

Newquist had a girlfriend named Ashley, a rookie scientist working for WarioWare. The two performed experiments of various kinds, sometimes on one another.

As of October 2010, there was a deadly chemical explosion involving Newquist, Ashley, Dave, and two pounds of bacon, and all three are dead.

Interestingly, blueprints were later found of what appears to be an elaborate plot put together by Newquist, Ashley, and Dave to kill Undeadstalker, involving the aforementioned bacon. The plan was presumably being set into motion when a chemical flaw killed them, sadly preventing them from defeating Undeadstalker.
Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device

The **Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device**, also known as the **ASHPD** or **Portal gun**, is a device created by Aperture Science in an attempt to beat Black Mesa in the race for successful portal technology. The ASHPD can be used to create a portal in one location and another in a different location; the portals are then linked, making for easy transportation to normally unreachable areas. Minish is known to have a Handheld Portal Device.
Happyville

**Happyville** is a location from *The Legend of Kaizer: The Finnish Crap*. It is a countryside town on the far outskirts of Kaizerland and consists of incredibly upright citizens that are completely perfect in every way. Xykeb Zraliv happened upon the town during an incident and ~~accidentally~~ filled the mayor's house with saturated cranberry juice.
Rock Band

***Rock Band*** (also known as ***Rawk Band***, ***Roark Bande***, and ***ROOOOOOOOOOCK BAND BOOOOOOOOOOOOOI***, among other names) is a series of rhythm games. In it, you try (oftentimes, with a heavy emphasis on "try") and play famous songs by using a plastic guitar in order to play combinations of colours that keep on slippin' towards you on the screen, netting you points and whatnot. There are several differently themed installments with different songs available. Occasionally, the tracks found in a game by default suck, but luckily, there is an opportunity to download better songs from the Wiinternet. Usually, the harder a song is, the more it sucks, making artistically bankrupt genres like thrash metal and the like the suckiest ones available.
Katrina Mars

**Katrina Mars** is a character from *Persona Z*. Theatrical and somewhat vain, she dresses and behaves like a stage magician. Her behavior is met with mixed reactions from her classmates, some of whom see her as charismatic and entertaining and some of whom find her annoying and disruptive. Nevertheless, she is good friends with Marissa Schwindler and Jeremy Foster.

## *D&D* Stats

```
STR: 10
DEX: 18
CON: 10
INT: 14
WIS: 10
CHA: 18

```
Evny

**Evny** is one of the Eight Deadly Sins. It symbolizes poor judgement, insufferably snotty remarks, and an excess of pointing out thecnical flaws. Evny is common among many people in the world, and as a result, the Scandinavian Civil War (caused by angry mobs in an uproar over a man publicly urinating) caused the sin to be omitted and covered up by governments all around the world, forming the now-famous Seven Deadly Sins. Despite this, a cult movement led by Evnyofdeath (an internet celebrity known for his questionable decisions) has sprung up, composed of people wishing to reinstate Evny, but as a Heavenly Virtue.

Interestingly, Evny's counterpart Heavenly Virtue (similarly boycotted by nations due to the Caribbean Civil War) is obiviousness.
Bad

**Bad** may refer to:

* Bad Idea, an idea by a bad person
* Bad People, people who have bad ideas

**This article is a disambiguation page for Bad**

The following is a list of links to pages that might share the same title.

Please follow one of the disambiguation links below or search to find the page you were looking for if it is not listed. If an internal link led you here, you may wish to change the link to point directly to the intended article.
Aluminum Man

**Aluminum Man** (real name Timmy Stork) is an uberhero and one of The Revengers, Earth's mightiest uberheroes. He is well known for single-handedly creating the "Aluminum Man suit", an extremely powerfulTemplate:Citation exoskeleton made of tin foil wrapped around his body with the head of a flashlight taped to the center. Aluminum Man is known for attempting to protect the world from the evil villains The Dominatrix and Aluminum Monger, both of whom have attempted to steal Stork's technology.

Additionally, Stork constantly has to put up with his half-brother, Thomase Storke, who attempts to copy his every move and become an uberhero, despite being terrible at everything except stalking.
Jeremy Foster

**Jeremy Foster** is a character from *Persona Z*. An intelligent but somewhat awkward and sheepish student of St. Patrick Boarding School, he is friends with Katrina Mars and Marissa Schwindler. Apparently enamored with Hope Messinger, he seems to be competing with Jack Sullivan for her affections.

## *D&D* Stats

```
STR: 8
DEX: 12
CON: 10
INT: 17
WIS: 7
CHA: 13

```
Juushi Mitto

**Juushi Mitto** is the best thing ever. Coincidentally, the hanbaagaa found on Hanbaagaa Piza is juushi mitto. Hanbaagas are often made out of juushi mitto in general, especially when combined with chiizu. Baabakyuu chiken is also juushi mitto, and is especially good when eaten in konbos with poteto.

Juushi mitto was invented by Piza Hatto, the best restaurant ever. Mineshi and Zaikkebu Zuraaribu are known to love Piza Hatto, and, by extension, all of the quite wonderful Japan.
Magic Circle

The **Magic Circle** is a metaphysical realm that people are transported to when they play games. When a game is attempted, the person is temporarily aligned with the Magic Circle, experiencing a heightened sense of self-actualization for the duration of their synchronization with the Magic Circle. Once the person in question returns to reality, they are often left feeling empty and deflated.

The Magic Circle does not have any permanent human denizens, much to the chagrin of everybody that knows of its existence.
GLaDOS

"*You know what doesn't rhyme with compliance? [Pause] Neurotoxin.*"
— GLaDOS, *LAB RAT*
**GLaDOS**, the **Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System**, is a supercomputer and robot created by Aperture Science residing in the Aperture Laboratories. Infamous for flooding the laboratories with neurotoxin, killing the entire staff (save a few members) and using test subjects with the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.

After the Kaizerland-Canada Teaching Hospital was abandoned and cleared of criminals by Minish and Rorschach, the hospital went into lockdown, and it was revealed that GLaDOS had been moved from the Aperture Laboratories into the hospital by unknown means[citation needed]. Upon breaking into the locked hospital and inspecting further, it was revealed that GLaDOS was mass-producing Personality Cores of many varieties. One of which was the Mimicry Core, which transformed into a near-duplicate of Minish. This core was *probably* destroyed by Minish [citation needed].

*This section is uninundecomplete.*