JoHoQuanizo 3

JoHoQuanizo 3: Radical Islamic Masturbation is the third game in the series, and is commonly referred to as JoHo 3. It has an updated version known as *JoHo 3: R*.

## JoHoQuanizo 3

### Fucktopia Arc

Alex wakes up in a cell with slight memory loss roughly 6 months after the events of *JoHo 2*. Only remembering his fight with Gadget. He easily escapes the cell and makes it to the capital of *Fucktopia.* He runs into *Toc* who reveals himself to be the King. He turns away Alex as the two don't really get along, before *Lauren* arrives and offers to help. The two return to the cell and find *Ethan* who explains that during the fight, *Mineault* was killed and *Brandon* had disappeared. They help Ethan escape by defeating MegaMan, and Alex takes his weapon. This allows Alex to steal the powers of his opponents. Afterwards, they travel to the nearby mining settlement to find a passport. Upon arriving, the leader of the settlement, Ragnar, is upset with Lauren for turning his town into a prison. He asks the group to help save his miners who haven't returned yet. The trio enter the cave and defeat a large crystalline creature, but were too late to save the miners. Ragnar decides to leave town, and gives the group a note allowing them to get a passport. They travel to a small settlement that allows them to take a passport, and journey east to *Dipshit Deserts*. Lauren isn't allowed to come with them so they go without her.

### Dipshit Deserts Arc

Alex and Ethan begin searching for Brandon. They start in a small town near the border, where they find him in jail. Brandon was caught attempting an assassination, though he never elaborates. Despite being upset with Brandon for ditching them, Alex decides to help by finding the key. As it turns out the keys have already been stolen. Alex and Ethan travel north to another settlement where they find *David Hasselhoff* who gives them the key. Here they also run into *Kelly.* She and Alex argue about his irresponsibility before they shut her up by allowing her to travel with them. The three release Brandon and continue their search for Gadget. In the capital, they run into *Evan.* After a short discussion, the group ditches Kelly in favour of Evan. She gets upset and vows revenge. The rest of the gang shrugs it off before going to meet the ruler. In the palace, they meet Toc again who warns them that the ruler, *Abdul The Destroyer* has that name for a reason and to not piss him off. The team ask Abdul to open up the *Temple,* as it's the only way to the *Kingdom of Twatland.* Abdul agrees, but only if they defeat a demon who has been terrorizing the country. He points them towards the blue mountains, where they find another cave. Here, they find a portal that leads to a strange dimension made of flesh. The group meets *Yfra,* a powerful demon that has the ability to haunt dreams. Evan shoots him and the team moves on. Upon returning the real world, the team meets a ghostly Mineault. He doesn't know how he returned but theorized it had something to do with Yfra. He leaves to explore his powers, and the team returns to Abdul. Abdul allows them to enter the Temple, where they defeat an ancient guardian, and run into Gadget. The team defeats Gadget and he reveals that he has many more forms, but before he can transform, Mineault appears and kills him. Mineault finds that he was blessed with ultimate power, and leaves to take over the world.

### Kingdom of Twatland Arc

The group agree that they need to stop Mineault, and continue into the Kingdom of Twatland to warn the ruler. While exploring, they find many soldiers wearing red uniforms. Soon they come across the lodge which houses King Stark. The King doesn't speak, so his advisor, *Anthony* speaks for him. Anthony tells the group that they can't help with Mineault, since *Mason*, a former advisor for Stark, has rebelled. As if on cue, Mason attacks. He utilizes a new weapon, "*JoHoBot*". The group defeats JoHoBot and agree to help kill Mason, but mostly just because Alex was annoyed at his form of articulation. (He talks weird.) They head over to Mason's hideout and fight his army. After his defeat, the team returns to Anthony. As the team debates where to look, Mineault appears in an attempt to kill Alex. Ethan takes the hit for him, killing him easily. Mineault, satisfied with this outcome, decides to leave. After a short funeral, the team go to *Death Mountain* to find Mineault and enter a portal to an unknown dimension. Mineault claims to want to end war, hunger, and poverty as ruler, before Alex calls him out on literally murdering an innocent man like 10 minutes ago. They fight, but Mineault is too powerful, and he kills them. Alex meets Ethan for a moment who hypes him up for a run-back. Alex forcibly returns himself to life, and defeats Mineault. Afterwards, Alex leaves the team to hunt down "His Final Rival".

### Gameplay

While the combat system is the same as the first two games, this game features a large over world with many monsters inhabiting it. The player can defeat this mini-bosses to gain new moves for Alex. The item system has also been expanded, allowing for more customization.

## JoHo 3: R

JoHo 3: R is the updated version of JoHoQuanizo 3. It features updated graphics, more sprites, minor changes to the story, updated and additional bosses and sidequests, and a lengthy post-game story.

### Fucktopia Arc

This time, ProtoMan is Ethan's captor instead, and he defeats Alex and Lauren. They escape from their 2nd cell, and defeat MegaMan, who runs off to warn ProtoMan. When they confront ProtoMan for the rematch, he kills his brother, allowing them to defeat him. Alex now has the choice between the ProtoBuster or the MegaBuster. This choice does not affect the ending.

In the passport town, Alex can meet the first member of *F.A.G*. A group of monster hunters led by *Mika.* He helps her out by slaying the monsters in the region, and she gives him a mysterious artifact in the process

### Dipshit Deserts Arc

Here, Alex meets *Aaron* the second member of F.A.G. Like Mika before, he asks Alex to kill the monsters around the country. He does so, and is awarded another artifact.

During the battle with Inspector Gadget, he is able to ascend into his second form, Live Action Inspector Gadget.

### Kingdom of Twatland Arc

Alex finds the last member of F.A.G, *Karas.* And like before, slaughters the monsters in the country. These include *Satan* who has teamed up with *Big Red.* He is once again rewarded with an artifact.

If Alex has all three artifacts, when Mineault arrives to kill him, he instead kills Evan. Anthony will not go with the team to fight Mineault. Right before the final battle, a mysterious entity takes away Mineault's powers, and opens a path for them. The trio are disappointed because they wanted a really cool fight, so they decide to follow the path with Mineault. The path leads them to Alex's arch nemesis, *Kuba.* He doesn't seem to know where he is, but he speaks about events that haven't happened yet, and notices Alex is younger than he recalls. He explains a little bit about Dark Space, and how it's a realm outside of space and time. They fight him, but he is far more powerful than they thought. He transitions into his second form, Omega Kuba. He's narrowly defeated, and the team escapes the dimension. Afterwards, Alex decides to move to a place known as *Tutorial Island.* It's said to be a technological marvel. He says goodbye to Brandon, and disappears.

### Cumset Isles Arc

The members of F.A.G are approaching an archipelago known as *"The Cumset Isles".* Aaron is having second thoughts, so he sends a letter to someone. Alex has set up a tent for himself somewhere in Fucktopia. He's been incredibly lonely since he left the team, and he has given up on Tutorial Island. He awakes for another day of boredom, when a dog arrives. Alex believes the dog is trying to lead him on an epic quest, so he follows him. The dog leads Alex to a pile of it's own shit, which annoys him. He reluctantly allows the Dog to live with him. 10 Months pass and Alex now sports a blue outfit. Toc arrives at the campsite with a letter for Alex, who questions why a King is delivering mail. Toc gets annoyed and leaves. The letter reads that a cataclysmic event will occur at the Cumset Isles soon, and they need help. Alex recognizes the letter as a call to adventure, and promptly leaves to get a boat. He meets with Anthony, who has since become ruler of Twatland. Despite thinking what Alex is doing is stupid, he gives him a boat. On the boat, Brandon appears. He got the same letter as Alex, but didn't know how to operate a boat so he waited for someone else. The pair and dog arrive at Isle Fukifino, where Tutorial Island was going to be settled before development halted. A small native tribe resides here, so they go to speak with them about the letter. At the village, they find Lauren and Toc. The two are here trying to convince the natives to join their nation. They all go to the elder to discuss the letter. He explains that the Cumset Isles seem to have a closer connection to Dark Space than anywhere in the world. He gives Alex an amulet that allows him minor control of Dark Space. Alex quickly figures out that F.A.G are behind whatever evil doing is happening, and is implored by the elder to find the magical artifacts on the other islands. Lauren joins them for this quest.

*From here the player has free choice to go to whichever Island they want. They are in no particular order.*

### Inbred Island

On Inbred Island the team finds a large tower. Climbing up, they find Mineault who is also exploring the Island. At the top, they find Karas, who has found the Book of Fate, and awakens it's guardian, Keith David. The team defeats Keith David and heads back to the ship.

### New Guinea

The team must cross a long bridge, a mysterious voice tells them that they must pay the toll to cross the bridge. Every party member but Alex claims that it sounds like an egg. They are then attacked by an egg. They defeat the Egg Wizard and proceed into a cave system. Here they find Aaron and Mika, Aaron reveals he sent the letter, but Mika appears before they can talk and knocks the party off the side of the cliff. They survive the fall but can't climb out. They find Kelly who was trapped earlier and invite her to join. They then find *Axel,* who is acutely aware of Dark Space and is trying to get there himself. He tries to stop the team from proceeding but is defeated. The team escapes the whole, but the Sword of Judgment has already been taken

### CumGuzle Island

They find Ethan here along a mountain pass, before coming across a fort. They find a book on the table which they believe is the Book of Fate. It's quickly revealed to be a trap as the book comes to life and attempts to kill them. After all of their options are exhausted, the team decides to go on the offensive and goes to The Lonely Island.

### The Lonely Island

On the Lonely Island, they make their way to the largest mountain. They investigate a cave system where they find F.A.G. Before they can fight, Toc shows up and reveals himself as the secret final member. He turns into his goblin form and fights the team. He stalled them long enough that the other members have opened a portal to Dark Space. Aaron heals the team as they give chase. Inside the portal, the members are annihilated by Kuba, who they thought was dead. Kuba explains that they wanted to harness the power of Dark Space, which is what he's doing. This is causing Dark Space to collapse as it cannot sustain itself any further. They sent Alex to kill his monsters to weaken him, and manipulated Alex to kill Kuba in Dark Space, now they have brought all the magical artifacts to him, which he believes will help him unlock his power further. All he needs now is Alex's amulet. They battle and Kuba is defeated. In the fight, Kuba utilizes far too much energy from the artifacts which causes the collapse of Dark Space. Everyone else runs away but Kuba tells Alex that if Dark Space collapses the world will end. He's given a choice.

### Evacuate Ending

Alex evacuates with the rest of the team and watches the world end. He takes solace that while he spent so long alone on the road, he can spend the final moments with the few he cares about.

### Eradicate The Multiverse Ending

Alex utilizes the artifacts and wills Dark Space to his command. With no choice he decides to end the universe, but in turn create a new one. Kuba jokingly calls him Doyle, which Alex is surprised by. Before thrown into a new world. He wakes up with all his memories in a new world, and Mineault appears before him. Mineault asks Doyle his he wants to go get lunch, and while surprised, he agrees.

### Gameplay

The post-game allows the player to swap between their unlocked party members whenever they want at the hub. The playable characters include, Lauren, Kelly, Mineault, Ethan, Brandon, and the Dog.

## Trivia

* There's a sidequest in the game that was scrapped from the final release in which the players killed "The Icon Of Simp". The sprites for this monster are still in the game files and it may appear in a future game.
* This is the only JoHo game without Hell, but Satan still makes a cameo.
* Mason's dialect is based on how the person he's based off of texts.
* Anthony is only playable at the end of the default ending, as he is unavailable in the post-game and doesn't join you if Evan is dead.
* Mineault returns to life after his defeat, but Ethan and Evan stay dead.