BSCSC 013: Aloha, Baby-sitters!

The episode for "Aloha, Baby-sitters!" was originally released on March 4, 2019 and is #13. **You can listen to it here.** This episode is 1:02:36 long.This week's ghostwriter: Peter Lerangis.

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## Official Episode Description

Stacey’s chopper is down and she’s missing in the jungles of Hawaii. Meanwhile, back in Stoneybrook, Mallory has alienated a potential client by mishandling a tantrum. Are these two crises treated with equal gravity and concern in this novel? Yes. Because this is the Baby-Sitters Club, and, frankly, Stacey is expendable. Fair warning: This one’s rated R, not just because of the helicopter carnage, but because there is a surprising amount of Arm Stuff, and some EXTREMELY enlightening new rules for the delicate dance known as Da Bonky. Have fun and be careful!

## Music Credits

* “Movie Trailer Action,” by AllenGrey
* “Polish Funk,” by Artur Orbelyan
* “Rendezvous 72.5,” by Adrien Wilcox
* “Dark Cybernetic World,” by AllenGrey
* “Tanzen,” by KieLoBoy
* “Sadness,” by AudioRose
* Original Intro by Scott Lamb
* Superbrat Outro by Superbrat

## Ann's Epithets

Previously: Our Angel, The Lost Grandmother, the Backstage Babysitter, the Tender Shepherd, the Little Night Owl, the Ocean Princess, the Laughing Mirror, the Space Mountain known as Snowmommy, the Fast-Fingered Swordman, The Condor and the Squall, Ghost Eyes, Ann “The Knife” Martin, the Frugalmaster. Great ear, perfect hands.

This week: Cool at the store, cool on the body; she is the Young Sophisticate

## Book Description

This segment is called “90-Second Rundown”. Tanner tries to come up with a new segment name for himself which is far too long. They settle on “The Poundmaster’s Report” for Tanner’s description.

This week, Tanner’s description is a bit of an action thriller type. Jack barely finishes within his allotted time.

## Ad Read

This week, Jack reads the ad with Sarah. He asks her to treat him the way Tanner does, including a request for Loom-themed content. She does: "Keep up the great work, Jack. Just like Bob and Threadbare kept up the work of the Great Loom, saving the world from chaos and restoring honor to the guild of the weavers."

## Segments

###  Abby's Tight 20

"I ran upstairs to finish packing. Okay, maybe not finish, continue. Well, I guess 'start' would be the best word. Cut Arnold Schwarzeneger out of the movie poster for Terminator, replace it with a picture of me, cross out the title, call it 'Procrastinator'."

###  Da Bonky

This week: a chicken skeleton, a few clumps of dog hair, a Grateful Dead cassette, a steering wheel, a California Angels baseball cap, and a stethoscope. The description of what to do with these items is mostly beeped-out.

Arm Stuff is also discussed in this context, with Robert Brewdoggy Brewster. Tanner: Brewdoggy squeezes Stacey's hand. Jack: when Brewdoggy puts his arm around her.

###  Fearful Moment

The "one-eyed hermit" and the two beasts: Haleakala Lave Beast and the Hawaiian Barf Beast.

###  Immersed in Thirst

(Pete is anti-union.) The moment is about a blond dimply guy from Abby's volleyball commercial.

###  IP Freely

Gnarls Barkley --> comes from "a tree with gnarled bark" in this book.

###  Jack Googles

Tanner and Jack simultaneously Google to see if various Twitter handles are already taken. @realpoundmaster is already taken, but @therealpoundmaster is free.

###  Lerangis Moment

Tanner Sings: "It's Lerangis Magic", to the tune of Queen's It's a Kind of Magic; parody lyrics by Baby Bee Haley.

The Lerangis Moment this week was the acknowledgements section, in the front of the book for the first time this week.

Jack's true Lerangis Moment: Jenny Prezzioso throws a tantrum, then comes back outside: "I'm going to make the park into an enchanted world of deep discounts!"

Tanner: "More water, peasant!"

###  Motion to Diss-Miss

Tanner: from the scene with the young boy at the playground. "You're not abspeptable." The comeback is "Don't you dare talk to Mommy like that."

Jack: "Thank you, Miss Natural", says Logan. "Will you be eating the leaves raw, or steamed, for dinner tonight?"

###  Mr. Prezzioso's Boys' Basketball Corner

New segment. Roleplay. Jack plays Mrs. Prezzioso, trying to talk about a parenting problem, and Tanner plays Mr. Prezzioso, talking only about basketball.

###  Slaybeous Porpoise

The ghost of the porpoise haunts the courtroom.

###  Tanner Googles

Tanner and Jack simultaneously Google to see if various Twitter handles are already taken. @poundmaster is already taken, but @thepoundmaster is free.

## Jack's References

* ”It’s not clear from a lit-crit perspective what this book is about.”
* Sarah proposed to Jack while they were in Hawaii.
* ”I have that in my “Da Bonky” section.”
* "That was our "Social Commentary" section," says Jack after a discussion on Claudia's fears about WW2 and general racism themes.
* KL5-3231 (555-3231); Jack references "KLondike five".
* Purple Cow, a business book

## Tanner's References

* ”dark night of the soul”
* Tanner claims his own epithet: “Poundmaster” but proclaims his existing Twitter handle @greenring as perfect.
* "That's not how advertising works! Let me explain the funnel to you."
* Remember that commercial from the 90s that was like Stomp but with basketball noises?
* The movie Thirteen Ghosts

## Notes

* The boys discuss the main-series counterpoint to this book but can't remember which book it was. (This book was published in July 1996, and appears to directly follow Episode 101: Dawn and Too Many Sitters, which was published in June 1996.
* Jack notes that Sweet Pete always actually goes by Peter, not Pete.
* There is a Delayed...Gratification moment this week.
* Acronyms from the book this week: GMOO, OINY, IBS, BSD, WOR, TBI, Navi.

It was good. It was real.
Yeah.
We listen to a basketball podcast now.
(Laughter) We both do.
It was good, it was very good. I was like, "What do you think about this Knicks trade?"
And I started talking about A. D. and James Harden, how I didn't like rooting for the Rockets...
Very good, very impressive. Couple of sports boys over here.

## References & Links

1. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gnarls\_Barkley
2. ↑ Queen: It's a Kind of Magic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0p\_1QSUsbsM
3. ↑ KLondike five: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/555\_(telephone\_number)#Fictional\_usage. Interestingly, "Only 555-0100 through 555-0199 are now specifically reserved for fictional use; the other numbers have been reserved for actual assignment. The entire 555 exchange is reserved in all overlay North American toll-free area codes (800, 844, 855, 866, 877, 888) and in Canada's rarely used non-geographic area code 600."
4. ↑ Purple Cow: https://www.amazon.com/Purple-Cow-New-Transform-Remarkable/dp/1591843170
5. ↑ The advertising funnel: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purchase\_funnel
6. ↑ 2001 Nike commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-bNQR9In-0 and a Q&A with the director: https://sports.vice.com/en\_us/article/vvawxa/qa-director-paul-hunter-revisits-his-famous-2001-nike-basketball-freestyle-commercial
7. ↑ Navi: an Ocarina of Time reference: https://zelda.gamepedia.com/Navi#Ocarina\_of\_Time
8. ↑ The Knicks traded Porzingas to the Dallas Mavericks: https://www.theringer.com/nba/2019/2/5/18211164/new-york-knicks-kristaps-porzingis-star-player
9. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony\_Davis
10. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James\_Harden
11. ↑ Relevant? "The Rockets Are Either Fun to Watch or Proof That Science Is Ruining the NBA" https://www.theringer.com/nba/2018/5/4/17317118/houston-rockets-james-harden-chris-paul-style-playoffs

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