Dragonstone 52

**Chapter 52**

Our Heroes sheathe their weapons, and the women lower their bows. Samurai Chick declares that *“Unless provoked, there is no peril in these women.”* That’s a mighty useful boob tattoo, that is, if it can not just detect danger but specifically isolate it and read hearts and minds.

In any case, Arin, Alos and all twelve camels are brought in as well, and the spokeswoman for the Red-Robed Amazon Archer Brigade introduces herself as Abbess Mayam. The tall guy with the sword, who gets more description than all the women together, is Burel, son of Sir Ulry of Gelen. The women are prestesses of Ilsitt, which makes them automatically Good. Samurai Chick is still *“golden,”* \~/ and Mayam is *“dazzled”* and *“fascinated”* by Arin’s sparkly elfiness.

If I didn’t know better, I’d think this was leading to some sort of forbidden romance, but lesbians do not exist in Mithgar.

Mayam invites everyone to eat *“after vespers.”* Wikipedia informs me that “vespers” is **“the sunset evening prayer service in the Orthodox, Western and Eastern Catholic, Anglican, and Lutheran liturgies of the canonical hours. [...] '***The term is also used in some Protestant denominations (such as the Presbyterian Church and Seventh-day Adventists) to describe evening services.'***”** So the Ilsittians are Christians of some denomination. After all, it’s not like McKiernan would use a specific word with a specific, real-world religious association instead of choosing something more fitting, like “evening prayers” unless he meant it to be taken literally.

Our Heroes are led to a portico, upon which is carved the words from the card Ferai sketched. This inspires Delon to grab Ferai, spin her around, and kiss her on the lips. When she does not react, he *“stopped turning and set her down, puzzlement in his eyes. And then he kissed her again, this time gently and long.”*

Does Ferai wrench herself away and slap him? Stick a knife in his gut? Knee him in the crotch? No, that would make sense; after all, they’ve shared a whole two or three scenes of romance attraction non-hostility. Instead, she *“stood rigid, then less so, then melted into his embrace and clasped him tightly.”*

Remember, kids, women *love* to be kissed without warning or consent. Sexual assault is romantic! \~/ Well, that, or McKiernan just sucks at writing believable romantic interactions.

They both look stunned at each other, probably confused as to why the Almighty Author is forcing them into a relationship, when another howl is heard. Our Heroes panic and draw weapons, but Mayam reassures them, saying that the sound is just a large, complicated horn that the Ilsittians (Ilsittites? Ilsitters?) blow twice a day to scare off intruders. Samurai Chick insists that *“the peril is not false,”* and Mayam hints that she’s correct.

Everyone is led into a large, oval chapel dedicated to Ilsitt - well, everyone except Alos, who is busy having a panic attack. The narrative does not bother to mock him, for a change, but none of his alleged friends spare him a moment. We cut to everyone seated around a stone table, with Alos griping about the demon howls and Samurai Chick staring at him in disgust. This does not make me like her any more. Ferai and Delon keep glancing at each other and looking away, *”as if frightened by what a kiss had revealed.”* I imagine mind control would have that effect, yes.

Bural, the tall guy with the sword who is obviously the person they’ve come for brings tea and honey as Alos continues to whine about the demon horn. Everyone has a small bit of honey, *“except Alos, who glopped in three spoonfuls.”*

Okay . . . Dennis . . . can I call you Dennis? Dennis, I know you hate Alos and he’s only in this story to be your comic relief chewtoy, but it’s getting old. It’s getting really old. Leaving aside the ill-considered idea to use a frail, elderly, PTSD-afflicted old man as the kicktoy, ignoring the wisdom of constantly mocking him and emphasizing how he’s a cowardly, disgusting drunkard, this constant insistance on setting Alos apart from everyone else is snapping what little suspension of disbelief I have left.

Alos is the only one who’s old. He’s the only one who’s a coward. He’s the only one who’s not there of his own free will. No one likes him. No one support him or stands up for him. They’re dragging him along only because Arin can’t make up her sparkly, perfect elf mind as to whether he’s the “One-Eye in Dark Water,” or maybe it’s Egil, or a peacock feather, or a rotten ogre eyeball. He is so very obviously, very painfully, not One Of Us.Your constant emphasis of this fact only weakens the overall story. Alos doesn’t fit, and reminding me of that drags me out of the story. If there was a group shot of the main characters, Alos would be cut from an entirely different picture and awkwardly pasted in to one side.

I can’t tell whether this is meant to be funny, or meant to make the reader dislike Alos and wish he was gone, but whatever the intent, it does not work. \~/

Anyway. There’s a page of chatter in which Burel tells Our Heroes to clean up their camel dung on the way out - yes, really - and we learn that Burel is the only man here, and has never been outside of the basin. One wonders how the Illsitters maintain themselves. Perhaps they reproduce by budding. The sanctuary was found centuries ago, complete with Ilsitt’s symbol, but the Ilsitters only retreated here after the *“time of the bloodletting.”*

Arin recaps the story to Mayam, which is mercifully summarized, and Mayam says she believes Burel is the person they’re looking for, *“And the green stone of your vision is the cause of his bane.”*

Drinks: 3

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