Opening Quotes

## Overview

This page collects the **opening quote**, i.e. catch phrase, from every episode intro.

## Season 1

* 000:
*"It was literally bags of poop thrown around."*—Sean
*"Multiple times!"*—Wade
*"Oh God. I forgot about the bag of shit, Jesus."*—Kyle

* 001:
*"I can spend all day trying to catch a rat, or I can just go pick up someone's chicken and throw it off, and that's what I do."*—Kyle

* 002:
*"I grab her hand and put it in mine, like I'm holding her hands like in a very loving way, before fucking Devin can touch my sister."*—Scott

* 003:
*"Look, is this just shit on the DM night, or what? I'm trying to do my best to give you guys a god-damn adventure!"*—Sean
*"A-And, hold on!"*—Kyle
*"Suspend disbelief, enjoy yourself goddammit!"*—Sean

* 004:
*"You go to a brothel and just sleep alone and read a book?! Dafuck?!"*—Kyle

* 005:
*"Wikipedia, don't do me like this!"*—Kyle

* 006:
*"Hey, uh–I've never been good at subtlety. So, if you just say my name again, I'll kill you."*—Torrin
*"T- T-Drag? Just uh-"*—Travers
*"I- I-Listen. I-"*—Torrin

* 007:
*"I thought- I thought it was just Baron."*—Devin
*"Yeah, fuck you! Fuck you so hard right now, Devin."*—Paeris

* 008:
*"I have to do three to water, it doesn't work!"*—Sean

* 009:
*"None of this shit was s'posed to happen!"*—Sean

* 010:
*"And-uh, you know, the only thing, thankfully, is Paeris' sister remains unmolested."*—Kyle

* 011:
*"Did a frog djinni just come on me?"*—Kyle

* 012:
*"Yeah remember, you still haven't had sex with my sister yet, so you gonna wanna keep her alive."*—Scott

* 013:
*"Astral owl!"*—Devin

* 014:
*"We're gonna go punch a fish in the throat and try to get vomited into the ocean. Does that sound like a lot of fun to you?"*—Torrin

*"Devin is definitely flaming, but not in that sort of way."*—Wade

* 017:
*"Devin, why are you so obsessed with sticking shafts into people?"*—Nedylene

* 018:
*"Eh, there's a 22. That should scare an old lady."*—Kyle

* 019:
*"Do I have to wear this thing forever?""*
*"Uhm, you don't, you will bite your own tongue off."*—Torrin

* 020:
*"Why, Torrin? Why would you let this happen to me?"*—Sparkles

* 021:
*"I have you, friend! See you later!"*—Sparkles

* 022:
*"Shit, sorry! The thing- fuckin' spider just descended in front of my computer!"*—Sean

* 023:
*"Yes! I do not appreciate that! I have a doctor in my field! My name is professor Markus!"*—Markus
*"Why do you keep a doctor in your field?"*—Torrin

* 024:
*"So..?"*—Sean
*"That's a good time for a one!"*—Kyle

* 025:
*"What do you mean, you people?"*—Wade

* 026:
*"Dammit, Sean!"*—Unknown
*"Dammit Scott!"*—Sean

* 027:
*"The enemy of my enemy is my friend. And I slip into a little Spanish from time to time."*—Albor/Alvis

* 028:
*"So is Devin finally wearing a shirt?"*

* 029:
*"Gaaah!"*—Scott

* 030:
*"Why is there so much talk about bags of shit in this campaign?"*—Sean

* 031:
*"Why don't you guys have piss buckets? Jesus. Be a professional."*—Kyle

* 032:
*"So, hepatitis here I come."*—Sean

* 033:
*"So, anal beads?"*—Matt

* 034:
*"For once I agree with a goblin!"*—Torrin

* 035:
*"Why do you gotta be such an asshole?"*—Sean

* 036:
*"But you would have to find some sort of way to disguise-"*—Sean
*"Cut her face off."*—Kyle
*"Ooh yeah!"*—Scott

* 037:
*"So Tor-reen ... we find ourselves alone, again."*—Nedylene

* 038:
*(Bullywug croaking)*

* 039:
*"I'm not hitting any bongs, Scott!"*—Sean

* 040:
*"Let's fuck some shit up!"*—Kyle

* 041:
*"We leave as soon as we're done fucking things up!"*—Kyle

* 042:
*(sound of the void)*

* 043:
*"Is my baby a nuke? Like, what's the deal on that?"*—Kyle

* 044:
*"It's baby time!"*—Scott

* 045:
*"No one ever listens to Nedylene."*—Nedylene

* 046:
*"Let's get turnt!"*—Torrin

* 047:
*"Cut this joke out, Kyle."*—Scott

* 048:
*"Tater-tot media grips the world!"*—Scott

## Season 2

* 049:
*"You know what, I've had a really bad day and I just hate the fucking Eagles."*—Stephanie

* 050:
*"Uhh sausage is awesome!"*—Matt

* 051:
*"(gulping noises) That better make the sound bite!"*—Sean

* 052:
*"Here at the Burger King!"*—Kyle

* 053:
*(raspberries blown)*

* 054:
*"That's fine, note to Kyle: No matter how goddamn funny that quote is, don't do it."*—Kyle

* 055:
*"The whole reason we are in this mess: because all of us forgot everything!"*—Stephanie

* 056:
*"Wiener!"*—Stephanie

* 057:
*"Maybe I just want him to die, who knows?"*—Ben

* 058:
*"So could I grab his hand, and we start skipping together, to the library?"*—Stephanie

* 059:
*"I mean, if you want, you know, we could take turns pulling the donkey."*—Skrag

* 060:
*"Yeah, I was gonna say I wanna investigate that pumpkin."*—Scott

* 061:
*"So, are we ever gonna accomplish anything?"*—Stephanie

* 062:
*"Your fisting is poor."*—Stephanie

* 063:
*"That's all I could get out before I ran inside, jumped over my dog, and passed my wife, screaming: emergency poop!"*—Sean
*"He pees and poops, he's ready."*—Matt

* 064:
*"No more holes!"*—Eutax

* 065:
*"I got spurs that dingle, dangle, dingle!"*—Sean

* 066:
*"Oh sure, hold on, let me use my magic puppet powers!"*—Margane

* 067:
*"Come on, please tea-bag my tongue!"*—Margane

* 068:
*"Bye, say goodbye to the things we said, they are all gone!"*—Kyle

* 069:
*"He asked what it was, I don't- you don't pour something in someone if they're curious what it is still."*—Kyle

* 070:
*"It's not really a thing—that's always fun?"*—Kyle

* 071:
*"Uha-ah-ahh!"*—Margane

* 072:
*"'Kay. I won't forget that you ran away."*—Sean

* 073:
*"Alright, anyway. Let's get back to playing Dungeons and Dragons, and not this goofy bullshit."*—Sean

* 074:
*"And that's Dungeons and Dragons everybody! Pack it in, let's go home!"*—Sean

* 075:
*"Like—I don't like literally everything."*—Eutax

* 076:
*"Alright, bye pukie buckets!"*—Margane

* 077:
*"There are no holes, please stop."*—Kyle

* 078:
*"Hello?"*—Sean
*"You didn't miss much, don't worry!"*—Kyle
*"Okay."*—Sean
*"Nothing happened."*—Kyle
*"I thought it was appropriate!"*—Matt
*"It was honey, it was."*—Stephanie
*"Suuure."*—Kyle

* 079:
*"Then he's like "blarrgg" and then he falls."*—Stephanie

* 080:
*"We need to get rid of these corpses!"*-D'Nias

* 081:
*"All sorts of freaky stuff!"*—Margane
*"And I get to watch!"*—Aramel
*"Oh."*—D'Nias

* 082:
*"Great, sure! What are you gonna fucking cast?"*—Sean

* 083:
*"Nobody bamboozles me!"*—Skrag

* 084:
*"It's on like Donkey Kong!"*—Matt

* 085:
*"Do you just get off on this?"*—Eutax

* 086:
"Oh, hold on my Eutax is ringing!"—Margane

* 087:
*"All I heard was classic pizza goof."*—Sean

* 088:
*"The food is really good!"*—Mut

* 089:
*"Was someone vaping right there?"*—Sean
*"Sorry!"*—Stephanie

* 090:
*"I'm inside him!"*—Matt

* 091:
*"I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't jacking-"*—Stephanie

* 092:
*"I like grabbin' stuff."*—Matt

* 093:
*"I'm a gross person. I pooped myself."*—Sean

* 094:
*"Let's finish this off with mostly fart jokes."*—Kyle

* 095:
*"Argon Smagswag"*—Kyle
*"A character in conflict with himself. This is great! Edit mark! Edit mark! Edit mark! Edit mark!"*—Sean
*"So, make sure you cut all this out, Kyle."*—Stephanie
*"No, I'mma leave this in. I'mma highlight it, this is aaall the opening quote."*—Kyle

* 096:
*"So unenthusiastic."*—Stephanie

* 097: *"Yeah it, it was good. And I love roleplay, you guys know me, so-"*—Sean

## Season 3

* 098:
*"They weren’t even supposed to be here today."*—Sean

* 099:
*"Mister 'Oh, season three is gonna be soo light hearted! Meh meh meh!"*—Stephanie

* 100:
*"I am sorry about whatever happens."*—Kyle

* 101:
*"'Eww this is gross!'—and they like, poke it with their finger."*—Sean

* 102:
*"I picture the horse riding Minos."*—Sean

* 103:
*"This is just why you don't help people."*—Alenia

* 104:
*"Bring these—bring me—sausages! Uuuh!"*—Gerbo Namfoodle

* 105:
*"Somebody think of the children!"*—Stephanie

* 106:
*"Do we have to go see mister Goodboy?"*—Kyle

* 107:
*"I'm a beefcake, okay?"*—Matt

* 108:
*"Best pirate ever!"*—Sean

* 109:
*"Gurgle-gurgle, gurgle-gurgle!"*—Colin

* 110:
*"This is just the night of computer fuckery!"*—Sean

* Episode 111:
*"It's a magical STD"* - Matt (Minos)

* 112:
*"God, It's full of stars"* - Sean

* 113:
*"I don't pee in your hot tub"* - Sean

* 114:
*"There's something funky going on in the forest"* - Lauren (Ren)

* 115:
*"Have some butter with that and it sounds like a good time"* - Matt (Minos)

* 116:
*"It seemed like the thing to do?"* - Lauren (Ren)

* 117:
*"Like puppets?"* - Stephanie

* 118:
*"You don't know my kraken"* - Kyle

* 119:
*"wah wah waaahh"* - Kyle

* 120:
*"Urrgghhh"* - Lauren

* 121:
*"Thank you very much"* - Stephanie (Lux)

* 122:
*"Ugh fuck"* - Lauren

* 123:
*"Stop encouraging bad behavior, dammit!"*—Ren

* 124:
*"Just google: Best magic item ever"*—Stephanie

* 132:
*"New phone, who dis?"*—Lauren

## Season 4

* 145:
*"I found a really cool bug."*—Brenna

* 146:
*" 'If I could staay aawake, just to hear you breaaathing!' "*—Sean

* 147:
*"Yeah, that's like the biggest thing I cut from you, Sean. Aye, maybe a couple uhms here and there, but it's mostly snot'n'vape."*—Kyle

* 148:
*"Break a leg, have a good show and, uh, obviously one of these days I may be listening to one."*—Unknown

## Season 5

* 185:
*"I'm a strong, independent DM, I don't need no Ben."*—Lauren

* 186:
*"What kinda look are you givin' me?"*—Kyle
*"What kind do you want?"*—Stephanie

* 187:
*"Season five: the revenge of Bawk Bawk."*—Sean

* 188:
*"You piece of shit! I trusted you!"*—Clover

* 189:
*"Get out of my zooone!"*—Kyle

* 190:
*"Uhm-"*—Lauren
*"Hi guys bye guys!"*—Sarah
*"-so-"*—Lauren

* 191:
*"Kyle, edit!"*—Stephanie

* 192:
*"Go away, robot!"*—Lauren

* 193:
*"Come on down to party town!"*—Kyle
*"Oh. I'm comin."*—Sean

* 194:
*"Take the pain away from one place and put it in another!"*—Lauren

* 195:
*"Like Puss in Boots from Shrek!"*—Sean

* 196:
*"I'd hate to hunt you down. I really would."*—Henrietta
*"Mom!"*—Clover

* 197:
*"Fuck, I'm a clam!"*—Sean

* 198:
*"Sorry, honestly, I did not expect this to go this way tonight, so, uh, I'm making this up as we go."*—Lauren

* 199:
*"Oh, no!"*—Lauren

* 200:
*"An adventure!"*—Lauren

* 201:
*"Make the magic happen, Kyle."*—Matt

* 202:
*"Oh, what are you the DM now?"*—Stephanie

* 203:
*"Wait, wait, wait! Hold on! Evasion."*—Stephanie
*"No."*—Lauren

* 204:
*"Naw fam, you grew up in a tree."*—Lauren