Amazon Prime Time

*"I feel like I'm doing a Spec-Ops mission in the middle of the Vietnam jungle"*
―*Aleks*

## Amazon Prime Time

### Playlist

AMAZON PRIME TIME

**Amazon Prime Time** is a series featuring Aleks and James, in which they purchase items from Amazon. They give the items to one another, and then try them out.

## Episodes

### 55 GALLONS OF PASSION LUBE

Guests: Trevor, Aron, Joe, Brett

* Note: This video is not in the same formatting as normal Amazon Prime Time videos

### $1,000 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: PART ONE

Guest: Trevor

* Note: This video is not in the same formatting as normal Amazon Prime Time videos

### $1,000 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: PART TWO

Guest: Trevor

* Note: This video is not in the same formatting as normal Amazon Prime Time videos

### EXTREME DIY SUPERHEROES

* Note: Elbow Pads may not be the exact same as in the video.

### ASYLUM PATIENT ADOPTS FISH

* Note: Stan the Fish wasn't purchased on Amazon.

### VAPING ALCOHOL IN A STRIP CLUB

* Note: The Vapshot was not purchased on Amazon.

### 4 WEIRD THINGS ON AMAZON

* Note: The Putin Riding Bear & Pongbot may not be the exact same product featured.

### DIY PARANORMAL ETSY PRODUCTS

**Note:** All Items Are From Etsy

 Aleks → James

### 6 WEIRD ETSY ITEMS (feat. Funhaus)

**Note:**

* **All Items Are From Etsy**
* Some items on Etsy are one of kind, so links may not exist for some

### SEASONAL LIFE EXPERIENCES

Guest: Trevor

 Trevor → James

### HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE 2017 : PART ONE

* Note: This video is not in the same formatting as normal Amazon Prime Time videos

### HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE 2017 : PART TWO

* Note: This video is not in the same formatting as normal Amazon Prime Time videos

## Trivia

* *"Fire In The Pee Hole" is the first episode to become age restricted in the Amazon Prime Time series.*
* *"Rock Star Cowboy" is the only episode where a gift is given that isn't actually from Amazon.*
* *Geoff has appeared twice on the Cow Chop channel appearing in only two Amazon Prime Time episodes.*
* *"Bass-Boosted Manicure" is the only episode where James and Aleks have given each other the same gift.*
* *"Bleached Eyes Disaster" is the first episode filmed outside the Cow Chop house, which is located in James' House, and the first episode where James and Aleks buy products from Walmart and not Amazon.*
* *"Extreme DIY Superheroes" is the first episode inside The Barn.*
* *In* *"Asylum Patient Adopts Fish" , Aleks adopts a fish given to him by James who he names Stan.*
* *Throughout the entire series, Aleks has bought James a total of 4 drones.*
* "*Fever Tunes and Flames" is the first episode where James isn't included.*
* *"YouTube Imposters Channel Meltdown" is the first episode where both James and Aleks aren't included.*
* *Episode 24 was alternately named "Channel Breakup Fever Dream" according to the description of the video.*
* *Episode 25, "Wild Champagne Bachelorette Party" was sponsored by Dollar Shave Club.*
* *The Vapshot Alcohol Dispenser in episode 26 was actually bought from the website, not Amazon because Amazon didn't sell them.*
* *Episode 29, "Selfie Toast and Bug Poop Tea" was sponsored by Dollar Shave Club. This is the second time Dollar Shave Club has sponsored Cow Chop.*
* *As of episode 31, the series has expanded to include Amazon, Target, Wal-Mart, etc.*
* *James has stated that episode 30 was the end of Season 1 and episode 31 is the beginning of Season 2 of Amazon Prime Time.*
* *The show "Amazon Prime Time" no longer includes items from just Amazon but from stores, online websites and other companies.*
* *Once again, Dollar Shave Club has sponsored Cow Chop in episode 32 and 41 of Amazon Prime Time.*

## Quotes

* ***"I feel like I'm doing a Spec-Ops mission in the middle of the Vietnam jungle"** - Aleks*
* ***"Have you ever had like, a massive cumshot?"** - Joe*
* ***"I think you made me pregnant"** - Aron*
* ***"My bird is dead and all you care about is money? Do you know how much this cost me?"** - James*
* ***"You look like the lead singer of a Puerto Rican reggae band"** - Aleks*
* ***"How much did that cost you?"** - James**... "Our friendship"** - Aleks*
* ***"What?! Extraterrestrial beings are nearby, James! Take cover before it's too late, man!"** - Aleks*
* ***"This shit's like fucking...alchemy, dude"** - Aleks*
* ***"I've had a stroke and I can't get up"** - Aron*
* ***"I'm faster on my legs than you are on your wheels...Nascar"** - Aleks*
* ***"I feel like I'd have this at like a Star Wars bar while the Cantina band is playing"** - Aleks*
* ***"You're going to have a rash and then your gonna shit yourself!"** - James*
* ***"The white one is smaller than the black one too for some reason"** - Aleks*
* ***"I just realized man, I cant fucking read"**  - Aleks*
* ***"Uhmmm, Suck my cock"**  - Cozmo the Robot*
* ***"Every time I come to visit you guys I am blown away by your professionalism"** - Geoff*
* ***"HOLY SHIT THAT BURNS!!!!! FUCK!!!"** - James*
* ***"Your like, your like...your gonna be really excited about this Amazon...a fucking home craft kit, wow. Oooooh! What am I a grandma?!"** - Aleks*
* ***"This is the worst drone pilot ever. Like, what the fuck am I looking at?"** - Aleks*
* ***"Ohhhh what the fuck was that?! You fucking pulled it all back out, you can't do that to a patient!"** - James*
* ***"Shoutout to all my retards out there"** - Trevor*
* ***"Brett! I'm so sorry dude! Don't beat me up man! I'm so frail dude! I am legit sorry!"** - Trevor*
* ***"No! What the fuck! Do you know how long it's been since I've gotten you a dick!"** - James*
* ***"Do it, pussy. Kill yourself."** - Aleks, to Pongbot*
* ***"We can't just cover up all of our fucking problems!"** - James, to Aleks*
* ***"A state of the art Walmart juicer. Because you squeezed the life out of this fucking series."** - James, to Aleks*
* ***"You're looking pretty cute...cumber."** - Aleks, to James*
* ***"I'm gonna wall bang his ass"** - Aleks*
* ***"I had a dream last night that I was attending a school that had a school shooter***"- James

## Translations

***At the bottom of the description in each Cow Chop video there are two phrases (sometimes one), both in a different language that are sometimes related to that video. | The following are the translations for each video.***

***NOTE:* Most of these are meant to not make any sense.**

**CIRCUMCISION TRAINING | Episode 1**

1. **Hawaiian → English** - *"This video is an anal shit. IM, no lie, circumcision rebel force? Who the fuck does he like? It Aloha from. But his education. So i choose to work for the benefit of those around us who knew the circumcision. Everyone has to take the rebel force."*
2. **Italian → English** - *"Pickles are a great element to push into the ass hole. They are available in an extraordinary liquid, more or less so that the brine is already lubricated in order to save an extra step. You can also use the container to savor the taste of raw ass ass. Some things do not make sense, but when it comes to pickles, those in your ass are a gift from God."*

**OWL PELLET DISSECTION | Episode 2**

1. **Danish → English** - *"Being tired can do a lot of things for you. It can make your eyes feel like sand and it can make your body numb. Sometimes you get dizzy too, but you also wonder why you let it happen. Maybe you enjoy it, maybe you do not, but the question is why."*
2. **Bosnian → English** - *"We talked about using baby wipes. Is it really acceptable to use them? But why would people were against them, they have the luxury of your butthole, especially if you have thousands of hairs on your ass."*

**BODY BAG BURIAL | Episode 3**

1. **French → English** - *"I am writing this quickly because I have a very important package that I have to ship. If I do not carry now, I will lose a lot of money. That would be very bad, I would not be able to buy fresh milk, instead I will have to drink rotten milk. Rotten milk makes your nails very thick and they will eventually ruin your shoes. I hope this is an important lesson to you, young people."*
2. **Xhosa → English** - *"Art is a way to express yourself. However, violence is way better to show your skill true. I think you should know this."*

**BIRTHDAY SURPRISE | Episode 4**

1. **Belarusian → English** - *"The cake can come in all sizes and shapes. Frosting can be varied to taste, too. It's great food, but you should be careful with it. If you eat a lot, you can get diabetes."*
2. **Catalan → English** - *"Somehow, no matter what, there is always a disorder that happens. We could make a video about the balloons and somehow, someone is going to get dirty."*

**55 GALLONS OF PASSION LUBE | Episode 5**

1. **German → English** - *"I'm too tired to put in any effort to make something creative for this translation"*
2. **Western Frisian → English** - *"That Lube that taste and smell like yogurt. I am not a big fan of yogurt"*

**INCREDIBLE TITTY DISPENSER | Episode 6**

1. **Catalan → English** - *"Oh shit, dude, are the breasts in the shower. No more porn if I need them, hell maybe I can put lubricant on them, so they can quickly and simply expúlsela crush my stick fast"*
2. **Vietnamese → English** - *"I apologize to those who have found the flashback attacks in Vietnam"*

**MAKE CHEESE GREAT AGAIN | Episode 7**

1. **Icelandic → English** - *"I know a lot of people enjoying traditional cheese, made from cow yogurt, but I want my cheese to make human milk, it's just a good sour taste where you can not get anywhere else"*
2. **Spanish → English** - *"What kind of cheese do you think enjoys Shrek? He's a great guy, I'm sure he likes some great guy cheese. Maybe he enjoys the simple things in life, I bet he loves cheddar cheese."*

**FIRE IN THE PEE HOLE | Episode 8**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"We play with head doody all the time in our Christian school, my teacher, Mr. Gasglinger is always the best player. We always make bets with him in the hope that when we win we can get a prize, if we win, we do not have to do the day duties, but if he wins we have to give him a kiss, which usually gives us a drink too much to relax , Sometimes it relaxes me a lot and although I fall asleep."*
2. **Arabic → English** - *"I've collected tons of those little angel dolls, and I like to hollow them out so I can transfer drugs in them. No one ever doubted anything."*

**ELECTROLARYNX EXPERIMENT | Episode 9**

1. **Latvian → English** - *"They say some poop is edible and full of nutrients. Just have to find the right kinds of poop. Some poop is full of vitamins A and E, which help the skin growth and improve eyesight. If you have a jungle, then you are in luck. I was about adventure time and saw a giant pile of bat poop cave. There was nothing else to eat, so I ate poop. I never felt so good in my life. The results really improved my health, skin, mood and general condition. Just be sure to eat the right kinds of poop."*
2. **Albanian → English** - *"Kylo Ren is my dad. Not like my current father, but my dad. When I say dad I want to say how I have strong feelings for Kylo Ren. This is not really the way he looks or the way he acts, but mainly the way his voice sounds. His deep manic voice makes me feel so good. I love feeling his killing box sound all over my body. He's really a wonderful man and I'm so fortunate to be able to call that dad."*

**FAT OLD FRED | Episode 10**

1. **Swedish → English** - *"We cooked some goose's eggs and they smelled a bit smelly. They tasted pretty damn good but reminded me of my mothers cooking. Just put some mustard and mayonnaise on it and you have a treatment yourself."*
2. **Spanish → English** - *"Fat Old Fred has been a lifelong friend at the moment. We do everything together, however he is very shy. Sometimes I have to talk for him, but when he does he says a lot of good things about me. He is a wonderful man."*

**SELF-INFLICTED FIRE DAMAGE | Episode 11**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"Want to hear a little secret? I'm going to fly to New York in 9 hours while I'm writing this. Nothing says productivity then wait until the last minute my friends. Let me finish these chicken tenders and maybe I'll pack soon after this."*
2. **Polish → English** - "Chemical substances in the air was a nice treat for my body. That I feel really good my guys."

**SPOOKY SPIDER PENETRATION | Episode 12**

1. **Albanian → English** - *"James loves buying things that you can get older."*
2. **Mongolian → English** - *"Under 6 hours of 1998 and 1979, the US banned smoking: 2 hours, 1990 under US domestic flights banned smoking on domestic flights: Cigar and pipe aircraft 1988 banned federal law's introduction to prohibit the use of all tobacco: All American flight 2000's US airline smoking banned domestic airlines."*

**BRUTAL HOVERBOARD ACCIDENT | Episode 13**

1. **Hawaiian → English** - *"Hoverboards are dangerous. Only ask James. You fall and break your head and have a concussion. However, it is Super dangers we recommend that you do this at home. We never have to do a Kamehameha, video and this hoverboard and hoverseat agree."*
2. **Italian → English** - *"I recommend using a sock puppy to masturbate in. It feels so good with soft cotton on the cock and when it explodes is easy to clean. I do not recommend doing this, though, if your father is a puppet maker, he could have been super crazy and denying it."*

**BUBBLE BOY | Episode 14**

1. **Norwegian → English** - *"To be a bubble boy is a big achievement. To hold back all temptations of wanted to be free so you can stay in a bubble for the rest of your life. It's gratifying."*
2. **Catalan → English** - *"Many of my socks have holes in them now. I have new socks, but they are so long. I'm kind of dealing with it now, but it does suck. It is in me that this has happened, but my husband sucks."*

$**1,000 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: PART ONE | Episode 15**

1. **Lithuanian → English** - *"The largest egg weighed 2,589 kg (5 £ 11.36 oz) and was placed ostrich (Struthio CAMELUS) at a farm owned and Gunnar SAHLIN Kerstin (Sweden) to Borlange, Sweden, 17 May 2008."*
2. **Swedish → English** - *"Mistel (Mistel) is from the Anglo-Saxon word mistletoe, which means "little dung twig" because the plant spreads even birdwatching."*

**$1,000 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: PART TWO | Episode 16**

1. **Somali → English** - *"It's holiday! Are not you happy? This is the best time to be with your family and share the greatest gift of all, family. Thanks for being a part of the family cow surprising. Thanks for watching."*
2. **French → English** - *"Be yourself and give to the world. Give gifts to others and make them happy. Not only physical gifts but good gestures and good deeds. Make the world a better place, happy holidays to all."*

**BASS-BOOSTED MANICURE | Episode 17**

1. **French → English** - *"Wiley Hardeman Post (November 22, 1898 - August 15, 1935) was a famous American aviator during the period known as Golden Age of Aviation, the first pilot to fly solo around the world."*
2. **Japanese → English** - *"Today I saw the smell of the moon dust like gunpowder. This is due to an astronaut who had the opportunity to sniff the fresh moon dust that was tracked by the moon module after an excursion on the surface of the moon."*

**ROCK STAR COWBOY | Episode 18**

1. **Albanian → English** - *"All the physical earth in Canada is the property of the Crown, Queen Elisabeth 11. There is no provision in the Canada Law or the 1982 Constitutional Act which alters it, for any Canadian, any physical earth in Canada."*
2. **Turkish → English** - *"Geoff Ramsey Rooster is the founder of Dental, Success Predator and Let's Play family. But did you know that it is made of pure metal and that it is drums of every band of the '70s?"*

**BLEACHED EYES DISASTER | Episode 19**

1. **Bulgarian → English** - *"My whole body is covered with grease. The question is what kind of grease, what grease I'm willing to put on my whole body. I will leave this to you."*
2. **Spanish → English** - *"I like to light candles in a circle and bury the chicken bones in the backyard. Then I wish good luck, but it seems like every time I make someone I know gets hurt."*

**EXTREME DIY SUPERHEROES | Episode 20**

1. **Bosnian → English** - *"I want to put my fingers super power within all. Once I decided that keeps them in her ass hole on the cow. It was not a pretty sight when the cow shit exploded in his face. This is a cost that has such great power."*
2. **Finnish → English** - *"I need a hero I'm holding out the hero 'til the end of the night He needs to be strong He must be fast He needs to be a fresh fight I need a hero I'm holding out a hero' in the morning light He needs to be sure And need to be soon He needs to be bigger than life"*

**ASYLUM PATIENT ADOPTS FISH | Episode 21**

1. **Polish → English** - *"Give me a kiss on your lips you are sexy cows. Let me rub the place and make you feel good. Thank you for such a sexy ass cow. Let me hold my penis inside the cows' cheeks. Oh yeah, oh yeah, please cows."*
2. **Dutch → English** - *"I wonder what you would do if I got my finger in my ass and screamed for joy? Thank you for keeping me inside of my own ass hole. What would you do if I sneaked on your ass hole?"*

**EXPENSIVE DRONES & TALKING BIRDS | Episode 22**

1. **Swedish** → **English** - *"Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me"*
2. **Irish → English** - *"I can not believe you made me. Why can not I just be a good boy and get the food that I deserve. Thank you for giving me my oatmeal and pancakes."*

**FEVERISH TUNES AND FLAMES | Episode 23**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"That fire couch actually lasted a good bit, obviously we can not have two minutes of an armchair burning, but the man, that sofa will burn nice and slow. I think the homeless here in LA could use it as a bonfire, I'm sure it would last for weeks. Plus there is plenty of food tucked away on the couch, so you will be prepared and ready to eat after the flames come out. Well, it's been a blast guys, there's still some barn left content, but we're reaching that LA era. He was thrilled, yes."*

**YOUTUBE IMPOSTERS CHANNEL MELTDOWN | Episode 24**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"Hey guys its Trevor back here again on it with another fever dream video. Wow was not this just great to see, so many great little moments. I'm pretty sure we used almost all the jokes in the book. Well, see you next time, I'm probably going to say goodbye."*

**WILD CHAMPAGNE BACHELORETTE PARTY | Episode 25**

1. **Spanish** → **English** - *"Hey guys, it's Trevor again. Let me tell you a little story. It's a story about my big toe, it's no longer a part of my body, but it's still a bit of me. My big toe goes on a lot of adventures, but once he hit a big toe, he soon died."*

**VAPING ALCOHOL IN A STRIP CLUB | Episode 26**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"It is not safe to eat poop, so this is your daily reminder not to eat poop. I know for some of you it may be tempting to simply go outside and find a great piece of poop to chew, but I must advise against that. Please stay inside and instead eat a healthy portion of apples. Thanks for listening today, come back another day for bigger advice."*

**ICE CREAM KICKBALL AND DIRTY COCKTAILS | Episode 27**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"Hello people, Trevor here, it's once again on Saturday. So I'll leave you guys with a little secret message, "my toes are growing ears". Thank you."*

**4 WEIRD THINGS ON AMAZON | Episode 28**

1. **Hindi** → **English** - UNTRANSLATABLE

**SELFIE TOAST AND BUG POOP TEA | Episode 29**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"Fortunately we have a sponsor, so now I can finally have a satisfying meal. We have been living wheat slimming and Cheerios. I think I could go get me a steak."*

**SALT SHOTGUN AND FIRE SURPRISES | Episode 30**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"Fire is like the devil, he's fucking hot"*

**DISGUSTING HOMEMADE SMOOTHIE | Episode 31**

1. **Chichewa → English** *- "Looks like a little mix, now we're living in LA, there are plenty of shops in the city so we can find beautiful things. Values are infinite."*

**STRETCH ARMSTRONG VS TRUMP | Episode 32**

1. **Spanish → English** *- "I like to buy a bunch of Armstrongs Stretch in bulk and rip their heads and see their gut drain in the course of a few hours. I just work to earn more money to buy more Stretch Armstrongs. He is my link with life. I love Stretch Armstrong, and so do you."*

**DIY PARANORMAL ETSY PRODUCTS | Episode 33**

1. **Shona → English** - *"Florida has a larger coastline than the United States, which covers some 2,050 miles [2,070 km], and it is the only world that flows through the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean."*

**INNOVATIVE INVISIBLE INK | Episode 34**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"My big toe needs a life to live. He likes to believe that life is in a standstill. My big toe needs a lover, someone to share their time with and their feelings. But the thing is I need my big toe to always be there for me, not someone else. How else am I going to walk all the time, I will not be able to if my big toe is busy with your partner."*

**WINTER PAIN OLYMPICS | Episode 35**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"This big toe had an entire adventure finding its true spiritual animal. He was quite lost in his journey, but through many trials and mistakes he found a way to enjoy life and company around him. He accepted himself for what he was, through hard work and perseverance he became someone he only imagined he could be. Now it's a reality and he's happy about it and he'll have that happiness."*

**HALLOWEEN SPECIAL 2017 | Episode 36**

1. **Bulgarian → English** - "*Steven Spielberg's first sequel, though a technical prequel, was a "Temple of Fate" in 1935, before "Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981), which took place in 1936, Indiana Jones and the last Crusade in 1989 and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) in 1957.*"

**6 WEIRD ETSY ITEMS | Episode 37**

1. **Japanese → English**- "*Originally, purple carrot was normal, but there were some crushed items. Yellow and white ones appeared in the wild. Over the course of time, Dutch carrot producers of the 17th century could cultivate this yellow and white carrot into an orange color that we know well today.*"

**POKEMON OPENING & INVENTIONS | Episode 38**

1. **Spanish → English**- "*Did you ever drown yourself with a cough so strong that your eyeballs begin to look as if they came out of your head and you will die?*"

**SEASONAL LIFE EXPERIENCES | Episode 39**

1. **Spanish → English**- "*Hi guys. Guess who it is again, it's Trevor. Back in those Saturday editions with those great stories, I know you love a lot. This story is not about the big toe this time, but about a pink liver. The pink liver lived a very healthy life with a healthy relationship with his family. Until the pink liver tasted the devil's juice, a sip of alcohol. This made the pink liver quite sour, began to destroy his life. He ruined his relationship with his family and that ripped the pink liver. Thank you."*

**NEW OFFICE SPACE PRINTER | Episode 40**

1. **German → English** - *"This leads to an oval ring around each magnetic pole where Auroras occur. The Northern Polaurora is called Aurora borealis and the Aurora at the South Pole is called Aurora australis. Depending on the amount of solar activity in recent times, Aurora activity may or may not be visible around the ring."*

**ROMANTIC CHRISTMAS DATE | Episode 41**

1. **Spanish → English** - *"Hi guys, how are you doing? I hope you are enjoying your day. Mine is great. Haha well we see you guys, it was nice to talk, maybe we can talk another time, haha, great man, yes, it's good to see you too.*"

**HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE 2017 : PART ONE | Episode 42**

1. **Spanish → English** -"*This year, remember to give back to your community. Donate new or old toys to toy units, food to canned food units, or clothes or your time. Be considerate. Happy Holidays!*"

**HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE 2017 : PART TWO | Episode 43**

1. **Danish → English** - "*Honestly, I'm just writing these things to get out here. I have a week back for my holiday break and husband I could spend a holiday break. Maintenance of all these children in this damn store carries me out. Anyways, Happy Holidays from Cow Chop!*"

**BEAR CLAW TESTING | Episode 44**

1. **English** - *"Hey guys how's it going. Has one of these ever been in English? Is that cheating? I'm not sure, but oh well. My eyes currently feel really dry, like as if you're stuck in a car with the heat all the way up and then the driver decides to throw a handful of sand into your eyes. I'm thinking about taking a milk bath and then maybe cry a little bit to moisten them right up. That should be nice, happy new years fellows!*"

**FLIP THE BOTTLE CHALLENGE GOES WRONG | Episode 45**

1. **Spanish → English** - "*I feel very tired*"

**CAFFEINATED TOOTHPASTE DISASTER | Episode 46**

1. **Chinese → English** - "*Haha upload sorry earlier yesterday. My fault.*"