Attack Some of The Clones

## Summary

The crew is sent to a C.L.I.N.T. cloning facility on a high-stakes sabotage mission. Pleck gets a hug. Dar and Nermut exchange lists. Bargie preps for an audition.

## Plot

Pleck and C-53 discuss Pleck's K'hekk-infested eye; it's stopped growing and is now four times the size of his other eye. Pleck feels this is fine, but C-53 disagrees. Dar and Nermut exchange papers listing their feelings and past partners. Dar's partner list is nearly a ream of paper; Nermut's feelings list is very long, but his partner list is just Dar's name written on the back of a receipt. Bargie appreciates the crew's social interactions because she is preparing for a big audition. She doesn't know what part she's auditioning for or what the script is about, so she is attempting to prepare for as many roles as possible.

Rolphus Tiddle calls the crew to give them their next mission. Dar asks him whether 'hasty' is a feeling, prompting a debate about the difference between adverbs and adjectives. Rolphus gets sucked into the argument for a minute before remembering that he doesn't care.

Instead he describes the mission: the crew will be sabotaging a C.L.I.N.T. cloning facility, because every other member of the Rebellion caught Garfon Flu at a recent karaoke night (which the crew was not invited to). Normally infiltrating the facility would be extremely difficult, but today is C.L.I.N.T.-illion (a holiday celebrating the C.L.I.N.T.s), so security will be greatly lessened to facilitate civilian visitors. Rolphus doesn't want the crew to destroy the facility entirely; all they have to do is remove the DNA sample used in the main mainframe's cloning process. Rolphus flatly denies that the DNA is his, despite all C.L.I.N.T.s looking exactly like him. He also warns that the facility manager must be "hard-boiled" and may need to be taken out.

Councillor Phoebe Runff reads ad copy for ZipRecruiter. Her son Tillion has run away again.

The crew are surprised by how many people come out for C.L.I.N.T.-illion. A pair of married tourists who come mostly for the shrimp provide a rundown of upcoming events. Pleck asks for directions to the cloning facility, but only the manager knows where it is.

Conveniently, the facility manager appears moments later: an extremely friendly woman named Janelle Fitzmeyer. She greets everyone warmly, hugging every crew member (Nermut is too short and hugs her calf). Janelle explains that she has been with the facility since the beginning and actually helped design it. C.L.I.N.T. 4125 runs up to Janelle seeking praise for how well he's cleaned his weapon; Janelle doesn't play favorites, but admits just this once that he's the best at cleaning weapons.

After 4125 leaves, Janelle explains what she does at the facility. She feels that a fighting spirit is the most important quality a C.L.I.N.T. can possess. Every day the C.L.I.N.T.s learn songs and play-fight. C.L.I.N.T. 6874 comes over to seek Janelle's praise for his play-fighting; following almost an identical exchange as before, Janelle admits just this once that he is the best at play-fighting. This always works. A group of C.L.I.N.T.s perform a song that they wrote for Janelle; most of the lyrics are just standard phrases that C.L.I.N.T.s often say. Janelle is touched by the performance and tells the C.L.I.N.T.s that they all have potential, which prompts them to start arguing about who has the *most* potential.

C.L.I.N.T. 4276 arrives to inform Janelle that he's going to mop the main mainframe. He fishes for Janelle's praise regarding his mop, but she skips the script and declares him her favorite "for right now". Dar convinces 4276 that he can really make a mark by mopping all the way to the main mainframe from here, leaving a trail that the crew can follow.

Pleck praises Janelle's habit of spending time with every C.L.I.N.T. to build their confidence. She happily replies that every C.L.I.N.T. is special. The crew points out that they are functionally identical, prompting her to explain that it's more emotionally fraught than that. Some time ago, she lost her son; she left him in her speeder while shopping, which he immediately stole. C-53 points out that Rolphus would have been in his early 30s when this happened. She makes the C.L.I.N.T.s in his image in order to cope with the loss.

Eventually, the crew sneak away to follow 4276's mop trail. When they arrive at the main mainframe, Janelle catches up with them. Genial as always, she disengages the security alarm on the door and welcomes the crew into the room so she can show them how C.L.I.N.T.s are made. She demonstrates by producing a new C.L.I.N.T.; he gravitates to Dar rather than Janelle during his first moments of life because Dar has undisclosed feelings.

The shrimp-loving tourist comes in to warn Janelle that a C.L.I.N.T.-off outside is getting really competitive. A C.L.I.N.T.-off is when C.L.I.N.T.s jab each other in the sides as an early attempt at sparring. When Janelle leaves to break up the game, the crew take advantage of her absence to steal the DNA sample from the cloning machine. Pleck wipes the DNA slide clean with his hands instead of using a chemical wipe and is immediately scolded for doing it wrong.

Janelle returns shortly; a couple of C.L.I.N.T.s died before she could break up the game. The crew decide to leave, telling her that they haven't gotten to try any shrimp yet. After calling Bargie to pick them up, they are halted by a C.L.I.N.T. with a strangely wimpy voice and demeanor. They remove his helmet, revealing that he's actually a clone of Pleck (a P.L.I.N.T. - Pink Light Infantry Nomadic Trooper). Pleck's fumbling of the sabotage has contaminated the cloning machine with his own DNA. Janelle is rattled by these developments, but the crew pretend everything is fine until they can escape.

The mission to sabotage the C.L.I.N.T. cloning facility was technically a success, as the C.L.I.N.T.s are now ruined. Bargie was fired before her audition, but she plans to show up anyway. Rolphus calls for a status report, and the crew inform him in very specific words that they have removed his DNA from the facility and there will be no more C.L.I.N.T.s like the previous ones. Rolphus doesn't care that they received maternal love along the way and becomes snippy when Dar mentions that his mother was there.

A few minutes later, the crew receives an audio recording of a letter from Janelle. Things have been 'a little bit off' at the facility, but she's doing well and hopes to hear from them soon. The crew is confused by how kind and friendly Janelle is compared to the way Rolphus described her; Dar points out that everybody is weird about their mothers.

## Quotes

"Wait, Bargie, were you an elevator?" - Pleck

"Mop down on the ground. Mop down on the ground. Mop down on the ground..." - C.L.I.N.T. 4276

"I have Rolphus juice on my hands." - Pleck

## Trivia

* This episode's premise was suggested to the cast by Torgamous, a Zima-level Patreon supporter. This is the first viewer-prompted episode in the series.
* C.L.I.N.T.-illion events: tap dance competition, C.L.I.N.T. cuisine, close-up magic C.L.I.N.T., C.L.I.N.T. haunted house, musical performances, C.L.I.N.T. tush-shaking contest, C.L.I.N.T.-off
* Janelle's security code for the main mainframe door is 4-6-2-9-7-5-4-4-pound-pound-key-key-pound.
* As of the crew's arrival to the main mainframe, the facility has produced 9,627,488 C.L.I.N.T.s.

## Credits

### **Voice actors**

C-53 - Jeremy Bent

Pleck Decksetter, P.L.I.N.T.s - Alden Ford

Dar - Allie Kokesh

Nermut Bundaloy - Seth Lind

Bargarean Jade - Moujan Zolfaghari

C.L.I.N.T.s, Rolphus Tiddle, and Beano - Winston Noel

Janelle Fitzmeyer - Leslie Collins

### **Production**

Edited - Seth Lind

Recorded - Shane O'Connell

Sound Design and Mix - Shane O'Connell

Music - Brendan Ryan

Additional Music - Shane O'Connell

Opening Crawl Narration - Jeremy Crutchley

Ship Design - Eric Geusz

Episode Concept - Torgamous