Sonic's Ultimate Harem

archive photo taken in November of 2008

Sonic's Ultimate Harem is a 360 chapter piece of unorthodox literature that is widely regarded as an "oral weapon". The primary focus of this piece includes the character Sonic the hedgehog seducing various female characters from various loosely linked intellectual properties (hence the title). Due to agonizing and cringe inducing graphic descriptions of sexual activity told in confusing and flawed grammar, it can cause an extremely diverse range of negative effects on the human psyche.

## **History**

"Sonics Ultimate Harem was discovered in August 21st, 1941 by an unknown member of the Waffen SS overseeing military activity in eastern europe during operation Barbarossa. It is assumed he had read part of the piece thanks to evidence regarding a rapid return to central Germany (due to suffering the effects of the piece and the piece's highly sexual nature conflicting with the extremely conservative culture of Nazi Germany) and requesting that it be destroyed. Although research conducted by Reich high command and finding of it's effects had sprung interest for military use as a torture device intended to be used against political dissidents and foreign spies. No further documentation of the piece being used has been discovered, and it is widely accepted that they may have been among the many documentations destroyed by remnants of the Nazi party at the end of the war. The piece was rapidly rediscovered in the Führerbunker by Soviet forces in late 1946, and it was one of the many items returned it to the Soviet mainland to be analyzed. Upon discovering the effects of the piece, the soviet government had also experimented copying and using the piece as punishment on political dissidents and gulag prisoners just as their former enemy had. However it was completely banned just 1 week after deployment due to widespread death of personnel and their assigned prisoners. The KGB had organized special units to burn any and all newly created copies paranoid the story was cursed by Nazi Occult research programs as a new type of terror weapon that could continue to terrorize the Soviet Union long after Hitler's defeat. The original piece was discretely shipped to east Germany by unknown Soviet officials to be reported to the European Union so that their governments could bear the burden. Previous analysis of Nazi documentation had made the decision clear that the piece was to be "quarantined" in a secure location, of which came to be the U.S Pentagon.

## **Effects of Piece**

Sonic's Ultimate Harem has a unique capability of overriding the reader's want to survive due to it's extremely specific plot, dialogue, and diction triggering mechanisms commonly associated with causing PTSD and depression. as seen below, many records have shown that there is no standard or order to what the piece can trigger in the human mind. It has been theorized that this may not be a complete list, as many documentations have been destroyed.

Sonic's Ultimate Harem has been documented to cause or aid in causing:

* Depression
* Psychosis
* Anxiety
* Schizophrenia
* Suicidal and homicidal tendencies
* Distress
* Nausea
* Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
* Bipolar Disorder
* Catatonia
* Delirium
* Dyslexia
* Panic Disorder
* Insomnia
* Pyromania
* Anorexia Nervosa
* Mania