Episode 96

EDIT

dylan has compiled a list of facts about almost every president. broti lists some theories of the origin of the word "ok" that she must have found during Dylan's lecture

recapped by Kevin on 1/30/2023

## Episode Summary

### Introduction

* "Good Morning San Francisco" - one of the last cities to have a morning
* Broti has a real shocking podcast reveal
	+ Broti describes a very surreal modification of her zoom client when she starts a meeting(?)
* D&B imagine a recent remake of "Failure to Launch" for the zoom era
* "We're older than Ross!"
* Lecture Hall Endorsements Corner
	+ Lecture Hall officially endorses the red eye
	+ Dylan reveals she ever really likes anything, other than a Dyson vacuum
	+ Broti is a fan of can openers when they work well
* Broti has learned that kitchen appliances are expensive
* Dylan gave Broti her Instant Pot, a peaceful transition of power
	+ There is a real fun riff here about the instant pot/the Iraq war but every time I tried to type it out I realized I wasn't describing it well, so just go listen to it
	+ Broti finishes it by revealing she's only used the Instant Pot to make Niko's food
	+ Moment of silence for Niko's tummy
	+ Devon was genuinely worried that Broti and Greg would think there is actual chocolate for dogs now
* A wild Greg appears two feet from Broti
	+ He's fake as hell
* Oscars Hall
	+ Nominated in all categories but sound design
	+ Dylan does not give a shit, truly the Greg of the awards
	+ Broti thinks everyone should do a walk of shame
	+ Karen is willing to tell everyone they did a good job for free, and give specifics

### Mailbag

* Broti was about to ask what's been going on with them, the purpose of mailbag
* Beautiful Jim Key question from Michelle
	+ Dylan is upset that now she can't do this for a topic
	+ Broti decides to entirely change the subject to birds on elevators, a result of their sedentary lifestyle
	+ Dylan reveals that they are both horrified and obsessed with trained animals, especially the made up animal of "horse"
		- Not real
		- Way too big
		- Men
		- Pretty like a woman, which Dylan does not like
		- Strong like a man, with masculine haunches
		- Broti wins the game with "Beautiful on the outside, strong on the other outside"
* Zoo exhibit question from unknown person
	+ Broti does not know how to say "capybara" but that's because English is her second language
	+ Dylan remembers answering this question from the pod, which they did (but not from a mailbag question)
	+ Around 15:27 Dylan says "Flarida" and yes I had to back up and listen to this several times just to make sure
	+ Self-care Hall
		- Broti makes her bed every day, and Dylan does not
		- Take your shower and get into cozy clothes then get into bed
		- Shave your legs and wear pajama shorts
	+ Broti agrees with Will Smith's slap and every thing it represented
		- D&B imagine Chris Rock running from Will Smith and I agree, it would have been a spectacle
			* Broti promises they are both guests later in the episode
			* There's a fun visual zoom bit here, everyone's favorite kind of bit
* Fighter pilot call signs from Peter
	+ Dylan is struggling to read, and Broti its scary to have so many things in your mouth
		- Her pause mid-sentence is haunting
	+ Broti begins to answer, struggles with the question then kicks it over to Dylan in true improv fashion
		- Dylan: "Whassup"
		- Broti: "No cap" a phrase she just learned
* Griffith Park Parrot story revisited/Quaker parrots/cat photo from Fabia(?)
	+ It appears that just Dylan is getting yelled at about the parrots
	+ Broti praises the fun of this long mailbag
	+ The attachment did not make it, sorry, and it's not clear if your name is Fabio or Fabia, so double sorry
* Terrare fan art from Z
	+ People love to tear women down
	+ Broti's thought is completely cut off and they abruptly start with the next mailbag so who knows what the hell happened here
* Impact Training cult from Jordan
	+ Broti reveals that we as listeners are also a cult
	+ Dylan has put the Lecture Hall poster up in her bathroom
		- She solicits more merch designs
* The acknowledgement that D&B have nothing to do with their own merch, and never will, is a nice thought, so Dylan then transitions into her surprising topic of "president facts"

### Dylan's Topic

* Dylan promises a fact about "almost every president" so we'll see how that goes
	+ Washington: dog breeder, dentures were not wooden
	+ Adams/Jefferson: Shakespeare visit led to a feud
		- Dylan describes a pretty cool attack ad
		- Dylan describes riding an office chair "on an angle" and despite her many attempts to explain what "on an angle" means, Broti just doesn't get it. I will admit it doesn't make a ton of sense either, sorry Dylan
	+ Madison: shortest president
	+ Monroe: dressed funny, but it was ok
	+ Jackson: talking parrot, loved to duel over his wife
		- Broti reflects on the frequency of shootings historically
		- Shootings = Stabbings, Stabbings = Punchings
	+ JQ Adams: skinny dipping
	+ Van Buren: American born, lots of nicknames
		- Dylan has a bit of a rant about the origin of "ok" here and Broti is silent
	+ W H Harrison: 32 days in office
	+ Tyler: first guy to become president after being vp, first guy to face impeachment, looks like everyone hated this guy
		- Broti reveals his grandson is still alive
	+ Taylor: first president named Zach, poisoned from cherries or milk, who knows
	+ Filmore: looked like Alec Baldwin, married his schoolteacher
		- Broti says she had a Filmore picture up in her dorm room(?)
		- Dylan reveals a deleted tweet that's in poor taste, I guess? For Dylan it is pretty normal
	+ Pierce: former Lecture Hall topic, hit an old lady with his horse
	+ Buchanan: only bachelor, but maybe not single or straight
		- Andrew Jackson had a Trump-esque nickname for him and his buddy
		- Definitely seems like he was gay
	+ Lincoln: tall guy, may have had marfan syndrome
		- Lecture Hall thinks he is hot
		- Buccal fat removal - how is it going to look when you're not 19?
	+ Johnson: first to be impeached, made all his own suits, took care of some mice
	+ Grant: missed out on getting shot with Lincoln
	+ Garfield: ambidextrous, assassinated
	+ Cleveland: married his friend's daughter, not endorsed by Lecture Hall
	+ B Harrison: first female white house staffer, scared of light switches (a real lecture hall move)
		- Broti had a nightlight for a long time as she was quite scared of the dark and Helen Hunt
		- "Twister could happen to you"
		- Dylan acknowledges Broti's "face blindness for white ladies"
	+ Cleveland II: got boing-boing surgery on a yacht
	+ McKinley: a real carnation-head, shot
	+ Teddy Roosevelt: named the titular white house, Broti is a big fan and may do him as a topic since she's now out of her Teddy Roosevelt era
	+ Taft: jealous of Teddy's toy and came up with "the billy possum"
	+ Harding: devastating to Lecture Hall listeners for some reason, re: lurid love letters
		- Dylan's Harding's Poetry Corner
	+ Coolidge: a real Vaseline-head, had pet raccoons
	+ Hoover: invisible servants, invented a sport that Broti is upset about
	+ Truman: imaginary S
	+ Eisenhower: named Camp David, a real homophobe
	+ Ford: not a football player, almost assassinated by women
	+ Carter: in Playboy, a real lust-head
	+ GW Bush: skull & bones, vomited in public (who among us)
	+ Clinton: has two grammys, but so does Obama
	+ Biden: technically dead since 1982
* Broti has a few options
	+ Barbie and her extended family
	+ Possible origins of OK
	+ Nashville Hot Chicken
* Dylan's curiosity about Ok leads us to Broti's topic, which in a possible Lecture Hall first, I'm guessing she just came up with DURING THE EPISODE?

### Broti's Topic

* Broti is clearly very prepared for this topic and starts in her typical smooth way
* Some possible origins:
	+ "all correct" comically misspelled?
	+ "old kinderhook" - see above
	+ "out of cash"
	+ "awful calamity"
	+ Choctaw words/phrases stolen by white men
* Dylan asks why no one knows, and Broti answers succinctly that she, also, does not know
	+ This is such a classic Broti lecture, heavy on impossible-to-verify facts and low on riffs
* Dylan believes that "R" could not be further from "K" until Broti reminds her to look at the shape
* Andrew Jackson was really the father of OK and of getting shot
* Dylan suggests all the OK theories should compete in a reality competition
* By the time she gets to telegrams, Broti seems tired of this lecture
* Dylan decides she likes "all correct"
* Broti chooses a real winner for the finale, and the disappointment in her voice is palpable
* Thus ends another episode of Lecture Hall, technically