Captain Badgerling McClog

[1](Note: No clue if I'm allowed to do this; love the channel, thought I'd get in on this)

**Early History:**

Our story starts on the death world of Wisconsia, in an AdMech facility studying the local abhuman population. The result of a drunken evening, a techpriest, a ratling, a longshanks, and a squat, the being that would become known as Badgerling McClog was originally to be destroyed for being just too stupid an experiment to waste imperium resources on. Morbid curiosity kept the experiment going for long enough to produce a viable individual... that honestly just looked like a normal dude. Slightly disappointed and honestly embarrassed, the powers that be put a Bolter in his hand, pointed the tank-born idiot at an excavation site and hoped the problem would clear itself up.

**The Hall of Veeseeyar:**

With a stumble to his step and a song in his heart, young Badgerling McClog proceeded to go about one of the most possibly idiotic expeditions in Imperium history: the excavation of a VCR storage facility. Apparently, one of the founders of the human colony that would become Wisconsia had not trusted in record-keeping the "normal" way, and had translated all of the planetary records that he felt were relevant onto VHS tapes. Due to his insanity, it was an interesting selection. Adopting the traditions of the long-gone Dutch, French, and Midwestern American, Badgerling McClog was still living in the hall of records when a squad of Cardinal Archivists arrived looking for batteries that could reliably power a gameboy.

**Newfound Heroes:**

Seeing monumental space marines standing before him, McClog knew he had to hitch a ride. Trying to help the searching Astartes find their goal of decent power, he proceeded to hitch a ride when the excavation team left with their prize. Not an "official" member of the chapter, Badgerling's eclectic collection of knowledge is slightly useful and his sheer dumb luck is at least a slight comfort to anyone who pulls the short straw and has to deploy with him and his cobbled together armor.

**The Great Flood Campaign**

In an act of relative desperation, an expedition for a device rumored to exist within the core of the planet Upperpenn sought the narrow specialized set of skills that Badgerling McClog possessed. A planet of dams and manmade waterways, the item recovered happened to be a nearly perfectly preserved copy of *Cadillacs and Dinosaurs* on VHS. To make matters worse (everyone wanted to find an STC or a Nintendo Wii), right below that was a Necron tomb door. Falling back, the local imperial guard forces asked the captain of the Space Marines in attendance. Due to the Cardinal Archivist's tendency to call everyone Captain, they went to Badgerling McClog. His plan: wash the Necrons out. All the local dams were blown open, and the battlefield was flooded. We'll call that a success...

**The Crystal Hammer**

Returning to Wisconsia in an attempt to recover a bit more ancient tech, the tomb of an entire group of early colonists was recovered. Buried deep within the stone was what had originally been a wooden hammer with a head the size of a mailbox. Time had petrified the wood, leaving what looked to be a decent paperweight. Not wanting to give up the weapon, McClog carried it with him for some time. Months later, a dark Eldar pirate raid managed to intersect with another expedition. Using the hammer in a mad panic, Badgerling McClog ended up coating the head in a layer of Eldar blood, crystalizing on contact with air. Holding a now jagged and downright impressive weapon, McClog brought into existence a new cry, "Armor up, hammer down!"

Notable sayings:

"Hail the Netherlands!" Screamed at Thousand Sons scouting party after jumping out of camouflaged hole... after hiding there for three weeks.

"When all else fails, blow that sucker up!"

"In my defense, it was dark and I was drunk" Response to demands for explanation after recovery of missing Leman Russ tank from a nearby river

"It's Friday, so of course I'm frying fish!" response to flamed Tau (Note: this incident was chronologically five hours before "the Russ incident"

"If it's crazy enough to work, it's crazy enough to try twice"

"Forged in the fire,

Forged from steel,

Forged from wounds we cannot heal.

We build a future from parts of the past,

Take a deep breath, it'll be your last!"

- Badgerling McClog finds that the best way to fight sound marines is to add lyrics to the tune.