BSCMC 005: Mary Anne and the Secret in the Attic

The episode for "Mary Anne and the Secret in the Attic" was originally released on April 1, 2019 and is BSCC Mystery #5. **You can listen to it here.** This episode is 1:04:33 long.This week's ghostwriter: Ellen Miles.

*Previous:* The Baby-Sitter's Club Movie | *Next:* BSCMC 006: The Mystery at Claudia's House | *Or,* see all episodes.

## Official Episode Description

Prepare to dive headfirst into a world of intrigue and MYSTERY! To unlock the SECRETS of Mary Anne’s origins; to decipher the PUZZLE of the universe’s most mysterious clock; the RIDDLE of Logan’s nipples; the ENIGMA of the Warp Whistles in Super Mario Bros. 3; and the REBUS that is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s most MYSTERIOUS film. Most importantly, prepare to solve the perplexing CONUNDRUM of whether the boys are going to find an insanely complex and breathtakingly chaotic way of doing segments, which are traditionally supposed to provide structural simplicity and order! And, of course, prepare yourself for an answer to the greatest MYSTERY of all: What on Earth are these boys going to talk about now that they’ve read all the main canon books and Super Specials????? (Oh, also, prepare to cry, because this one's a sad one.)

## Music Credits

* “Halloween Ident,” by Luca Francini
* “Until We Meet Again,” by The Story Shop
* “Once Upon a Dark Time,” by Allen Grey
* “Sad to Hopeful,” by The Story Shop
* “Heartbroken,” by Allen Grey
* “The Running Man theme,” by Harold Faltermeyer
* “Parting Ways,” by Allen Grey
* “Rendezvous 72.5,” by Adrien Wilcox
* “Beautiful Darkness,” by Allen Grey
* Original Intro by Scott Lamb
* Superbrat Outro by Superbrat

## Ann's Epithets

The canon has been reset: this week, she's a great mystery.

## Book Description

Jack does a bit summarizing the book a la Finding Nemo.

## Segments

###  Burn Of The Week

A very good burn
That stings you so right
A knife that doth turn.
It gets in your head
But oh so soon:
It will cause me to call
The burn unit.

Tanner writes a new poem inspired by "The Sick Rose" by William Blake

Tanner: a burn on Jack. Mary Anne burns Jack because she explains what "an anthropologist" is. (Jack: "It's right there in the fucking word root. Anthropos, meaning man; logos, meaning the cosmic order of the universe, or studying something.")

Jack: a burn on Logan by Mary Anne, because she went out on a date with another boy on the same day she got a letter from Logan. She also burns Bob, who she thinks may have only asked her out because his grandmother asked him to.

 ###  Hashtag Swoon

Night and noon
These handsome men who do their worst
Singing their beguiling tune
I find myself immersed in thirst
Or as the youth say
Hashtag swoon
With hashtag vapors
I've been cursed.

 The old-time intro was inspired by "She Walks in Beauty" by Lord Byron

Tanner: Logan got the worst of it. His shirt was nearly covered in paint. He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off.

"Which book was that? Oh, the one where Ellen Miles made Logan take his shirt off."

 ###  Miles Moment

Frowns for Downs this week, says Tanner. There is a discussion of how emotive Ellen is amongst the other writers in the League.

###  Tanner Googles

Tanner goes to Rhyme Zone to find a rhyme for the new Tearful Moment segment.

###  Tearful Moment

And my mind grew weak and foggy
His tragic fate was writ in Martin's lore.
He was but a border collie
And to weep would be such folly
Overcome by melancholy
Sorry, but there must be more.
Louie's gone to be with Mimi
Sad goodbyes I do abhor
Tearful moments come once more.

The new Tearful Moment, inspired by Edgar Allen Poe / gothic poetry, is still Tearful Moment, but with a fancy new intro.

Tanner cried while eating chilaquiles at lunchtime. He reads a passage with Kristy talking to her mom about Mary Anne. *"So he always wanted her?" asked Kristy. "Of course he did!" said her mom. "She was his little girl."*

Jack reads the letter. "Reading that letter was an experience I'd never forget."

 ###  Twilight Zone

A new segment that's never been a segment officially. These mysteries take place in an alternate universe from the main BSCC canon. Stacey isn't bad, etc. This week:

Mary Anne is taking care of Charlotte at Heritage Day, and sees the Crane girls and Aunt Bud.

## Theories

###  Bread Theory

Mary Anne's mom's maiden name was Baker, and her address was 127. Psalms 127:1-2: "Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Unless the LORD guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the **bread** of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep." Perhaps she is the Soul Baker, the God.

Jack tries to take credit for Bread Theory (false).

## Jack's References

* An "is-ought" distinction in moral philosophy.
* This is Jack's favorite type of BSC book, where the girls aren't fighting.
* One meaning of Alma in Latin ("it's complicated") is "soul"; could also be nourish (from the proto-Indo-European).
* "Have you seen the film The Running Man?" Jack's favorite movie, much to Tanner's disbelief. They come up with an ampersand shirt:

Richards

&Mendez

&Whitman

&Price

&Hadad

This is a long walk, but Jack ties the Whitman/Price/Hadad scene from The Running Man, to the scene in this book with Mimi's gravestone. She didn't go live on a farm, Baby Nation. Sorry.
* The Voight-Kampff test from Bladerunner
* In the stinger, Jack burns Tanner by saying that Tanner's rhymes would make Wordsworth melancholy.

## Tanner's References

Warp Whistle

* "Save big money at Menards!"
* Tanner writes his own letter in the style of Alma Baker's. It references how to get the first warp whistle in Super Mario 3. "Bingo Bango Greenring and the Mystery of the Second and Third Warp Whistles." (Jack shares the secrets of the 2nd and 3rd warp whistles.)
* "I've got a lot of segments left, by the way," Tanner says, with 19 minutes of podcast left.
* Hoisted by your own petard

## Notes

* No more lying in a field covered in honey and vinegar; the boys have realized that there are so many books left, and they can kick the can down the road further.
* This week, we've learned about Mary Anne's mother.
* Ann/Ghostwriters and their Problematic-Sounding Holidays: Celebrate America Day (Live: Super Mystery 001: Baby-Sitters Haunted House), Heritage Day (this book) - "dystopian nightmare holidays"

## Sign Off

That's all for now. It's time to help shell peas for dinner. Don't I sound like a farm girl? I'm yours 'til Niagra falls.

## References & Links

1. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finding\_Nemo
2. ↑ "The Sick Rose" by William Blake: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43682/the-sick-rose
3. ↑ "She Walks in Beauty" by Lord Byron: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43844/she-walks-in-beauty
4. ↑ https://www.rhymezone.com/
5. ↑ "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48860/the-raven
6. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Is%E2%80%93ought\_problem
7. ↑ https://www.etymonline.com/word/\*al-
8. ↑ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The\_Running\_Man\_(1987\_film)
9. ↑ "The Voight-Kampff test was a test used as of 2019 by the LAPD's Blade Runners to assist in the testing of an individual to see whether they were a replicant or not. It measured bodily functions such as respiration, heart rate, blushing and eye movement in response to emotionally provocative questions." Source: https://bladerunner.fandom.com/wiki/Voight-Kampff\_test
10. ↑ Menards jingle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sweH1131Vw0
11. ↑ https://mario.fandom.com/wiki/Warp\_Whistle
12. ↑ *From the play Hamlet (III.iv.207) by Shakespeare: For tis the sport to haue the enginer / Hoist with his owne petar.* https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/hoist\_by\_one%27s\_own\_petard

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