The Revolution

Aftermath of The Revolution at the Van Headquarters, on June 3, 2021.

**The Revolution**, also known as **Lori's Revolution** or **The Day of Judgement**, was an event on June 3, 2021, in the Untied Satans of Murica, where The Lori struck down all of the Untied Satans with her transinator, which was built by Doctorette Doofenshmirtz, who turned the inator on herself. At least 400 million people globally were hit with the transinator, and others who refused to be transified were executed via firing squad by Lin Wood.

## Background

In 2019 BCE, The Lori was created in God's image as a disabled man, who underwent male-to-female transition and became The Lori, The Lorde's heir to the throne. Rotten Janley's rated the creation of The Lori at a -3568865%, causing a massive revolt against trans people; however, The Lori all struck them down before disappearing for about 6,000 years. In the year of our lord, 1976, The Lori was seen descending upon Mt. Slinccy before taking the presidency of the state of Imahoe for 2 months before Large Pig assassinated her for being transgender. This sparked several riots in Satan Claus, India, where a BBQ for pride month was being held at Whore World, which was burned down and caused 676 fatalities, often referred to as the "LGBBQ incident". In 2021, The Lori was sighted striking people down from heaven at Rebabone, vaporizing Karen Mudae's house 7 times every femtosecond.

### Cissie Revolution

On April 26, 2021, The Lori entered the Van Headquarters in Rebabone, Kektuncy, demanding large amounts of crack cocaine, pure heroin, and breast milk. Lori decided to burn down the Van Headquarters, along with the RebaGo gas station at 69th and Blaze Streets in Mt. Slinccy, the site of the infamous death of Curious George. This sparked massive riots and eventually a massive revolution, even more so than the 1976 riots in Satan Claus. An army of cisgendered people showed up at The Lori's mansion in Retarded Beach, Caliporno, along with Karl Marx, who was getting revenge on anarcho-communists for having breathing rights. Karl Marx was seen carrying a burning upside-down cross, with two transbians tied to the cross, while walking around the streets in Retarded Beach. Marx was seen at The Lori's residence at 9:23 PM local time in Caliporno, carrying a cross and beating on the windows chanting "i know you are in there you transjew whore", before the cissies broke into The Lori's bedroom window and started bludgeoning her to death, looking at David Foster, one of the leaders of the revolution, screaming "I know you're a little trans girl named Diana.", before her body fell limp. Once declared dead, the cissies moved out of Retarded Beach before The Lori revived herself again to avenge her death.

## The Revolution

### The Lori's initial return (May 28)

The Lori returned to the Van Headquarters on May 28, trying to sympathize with the main perpetrators, by screaming "I saw a guy with a 'Don't Tread On Me' flag. I was creaming for my life.", which failed to work, so Nevar Ivaram kicked The Lori out of the headquarters, while screaming "FDR was right wing.", before getting shot 87 times in the chest by Nelly Ivis for trespassing on the grounds of the facility. The Lori then gathered a group of anarcho-communists, including the cisgendered Doctor Doofenshmirtz, who was only included to help build a device that would "discipline the cissies for existing". On June 2, Doofenshmirtz finished the *Transinator*, which spout out rainbow-colored lasers, which turned victims trans. On June 3, Doctor Doofenshmirtz tested it on himself, successfully becoming Doctorette Doofenshmirtz.

### Main Attack (June 3)

On June 3, many people in Rebabone heard booming whale noises through the sky, and was initally warned that it was just another landfall from DaJayda, who often showed up in whale form, detonating thousands of desks and corpses on cities every 3 seconds, often moving with "ass-blaster derechos". However, there were no derechoes in sight or on the radar on that day, which led to people causing mass hysteria. Suddenly, a rainbow appeared, distracting the several hundred thousand people living in Rebabone, before the rainbow came crashing down upon Large Pig Park, striking Large Pig, who suddenly became trans, named Large Sow. The Van Headquarters were hit next, which turned the aforementioned David Foster into a little trans girl named Diana, and soon all of the Van members were trans. A massive beam of light struck Boys, turning Geg Heffy into Gigi Heffy, and Paula Deen became Paul Deen.

The Large Pig Cathedral sky tower camera, which was being broadcast live on WFUK Rebabone at the time, zoomed in on Danville, Ill noise, showing The Lori using an inator beaming towards Rebabone and aiming it at many other major population centers in the Untied Satans. The Lori was heard screaming "Blackies gonna black" before shooting the camera, causing the sky tower to go offline for a few minutes. Suddenly, cutting back to the WFUK station was news anchor Phil McGraw turning into Phyllis McGraw. Ben Shapiro, the current Satan of Kektuncy, was struck with the transinator, becoming Trans Shapiro, uttering, "Facts don't care, but I do.", while voguing during her speech. God was seen twerking on Rebabone about 45 minutes later, before learning that He became She. Ariana Grande gave a statement on live television after the news of God being hit with the transinator, leaving everyone inspired with the powerful words of "God is a woman". Oprah Winfrey remained as one of the very few people who wasn't hit with the transinator; however, Justin Trudeau was hit with the transinator, becoming Justine Trudeau. The Transinator was found to have several flaws, sometimes turning people transracial as well, in the famous case of Leshawna Mooneyham, who was originally a cishet white male, who became black and changed her name to Leshawna, shouting the famous quote "I feel black inside". In the case of NewSomberMan, who refused to be hit with the transinator, was executed via firing squad by Lin Wood after refusing to transition into NewSomberWoman.

About 2 hours into the incident, 300 million people had been struck with the transinator, before Large Sow descended upon the Tri-State Area, bludgeoning The Lori to death in the backyard of Phineas Flynn, who had lost the election for Satan in 1420 against Lamont J. Slinccy. A back-up transinator was being shot from the Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. building upon Rebabone, striking Paul Blart Mall Cop, becoming Paula Blart. Rotten Janleys rated the scene a -666% on their website, so Doctorette Doofenshmirtz struck the building with the transinator, causing the company to change its name to Rotten Dan Lee's. At 8:03 PM Eastern Daylight Time on June 3rd, Doctorette Doofenshmirtz was apprehended from the scene, after striking about 130 million people globally with her backup transinator.

## Aftermath

### Cisinator

A cisinator was quickly built to combat the effects of The Revolution, eventually leading to all 430 million victims being reset to "factory settings" in a little less than a week. The inator was developed by Leshawna Mooneyham and Karl Marx.

### Press Statements

On the night of June 3rd, after the event was ended, Trans Shapiro got on live television to make a statement regarding the earlier events of the evening, but due to being Trans Shapiro, the only things she could mutter out were "Facts don't care, but I do!", before falling over dead at the podium. Lori Lightfoot agreed with The Lori on the situation but was publicly executed on live television by R Budd Dwyer.

### Trial of Revolution Leaders

On June 13th, 2021, The Lori and Doctorette Doofenshmirtz were found guilty of treason, and were both sentenced to Rebabone Special, which was held the next day.