Ryvyr D Goblin (Song)

This article is about the song from Nash Harding and the Secret of the Twisted Tower. For the character, see Ryvyr D Goblin.

**"Ryvyr D Goblin"** is the eigth track of Nash Harding and the Secret of the Twisted Tower. The song has Finnish words in it, due to Finnish being Kerttu Aarnipuu's mother tongue.

## Performers

Kerttu Aarnipuu as "Ryvyr"

Paul Shapera as "Worm King" (Background vocals)

## Lyrics

[RYVYR]:

I’ve a storyline to blow your mind I’ve a song to make you dance

Its a phasmagoric fable that’d make Tolkien poop his pants

I’ve a narrative you just can't miss, a tale to make you cheer

Its the bomb, the best backstory that you’re ever gonna hear

Its story time, all right, all right, yeah, yeah

It’s story time, all night, all night yeah baby baby yeah

I’ve a storyline, once upon a time in a land real far away

Where the pawny roots we knew all grew and the goblin children play

If sighs and cries both give you hives, if your nerves are highly strung

You might need a tranquilizer, oh, before my tale is done

Its story time, all right, all right, yeah, yeah

It’s story time, all night, all night long all night long

In a fair and far off forest lived and thrived my goblin tribe

Led by Pom Pom our great leader who pierus day and night

He kept us safe from hirviös and cootie coos throughout the land

Kept the peace with worms and fleas and the viscious southern clan

Our great Pom Pom had a daughter, Hiisi who is just my age

Sweet and taut she’s really hot and this is where the trouble lay

On the third moon once a century is the Ritual of Glyme

Hiisi does a blessing but must be a virgin at the time

Hiisi makes me hot and ooky, kooky, loopy but who knew

Hiisi thinks that i’m a sweety, has the ookies for me too

A week before the rituaali we took some yukyuk to the woods

To drink and laugh but nothing crass just have some fun like young girls should

When we woke the next fair morning, heads all thick, a little sore

We realized we have done an oopsy, Hiisii wasn't a virgin any more

The goblin shaman has a daughter, Venla, who had wanted us

To go with her on spirit quest and now we ran, cried Venla help!

Venla said there was a mushroom in the forest to the south

That restored virginity so us three goblin girls set out

So we walked we three through woods and streams through miles on our quest

To the KuKa Caverns in the south where the sacred mushroom rests

We goblin girls passed thrills and perils but we reached that cavern yet

But inside we fell into a trap which we’ll talk ‘bout in a sec

Guitar solo!

We fell down, down, down, down a long chute to the underground lair of the worm king

The worm king said “We celebrate, three goblin girls we caught this day

We’ll sell you both, this is our plan, to the viscious southern clan

One of you we will set free, Venla, gratitude to thee

Your promise you have kept we see you brought Pom Pom’s offspring to me

We’ll eat your brains but sell your skull to the southern clan who will

Put it on their banner when they raid your village this weekend

First they’ll use necromancy to raise an undead Hiisi

So her skull will scream when they attack Pom pom’s tribe and wipe you out”

But while the king was yackin, smackin, Hiisi and i picked the lock

Opened up our cages and prepared to fight out last lost cause

If we die upon this day

If tonight when moonlight comes

And we rot right here just know

We’ll take all of you with us

“Goblin girls you are surrounded,” said the king with fetid breath

“Say your last word now and then say a greeting to your death”

I said Venla, this i swear, a blood oath now, i will not die

Until i gut you, send you straight to hell and feast upon your eyes

Hiisi, i am glad we had these moments and that special night

It is my last happiness to die on this day at your side

I thought that i would gladly die with my Hiisi at my side

But a portal just then opened from your world and your time

They plucked me then from certain death, Arcadia you know

But she’s still now back there at their lab, so you see i cannot go

Its story time, all right, all right baby

It’s story time, all night, all night long yeah baby baby

Storytime

(scatting)

Blee-ba-doo-ba-doo-ba-doo-ba-dee-ba-de-doo-boo-ba-ba-doo

Wa-ba-dee-ba-be-doo-ba-doo-ba-doo-la-ba-doo-ba-boo-ba-ba-da-ba-doo

Ba-breee-ba-da-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-baaa-ba-da-da-doo

Ba-ba-de-ba-boo-da-boo-da-bbrrrrrruuuu

Psshhhhhh

Cymbal crash!