recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
McHales Bar and Restaurant

## Bio

**McHales Bar and Restaurant** is a public eatery located on New York City's fabled Restaurant Row on 46th Street between 8th and 9th Avenues. The location is often used as a mob hang-out and surrounded by hookers.

In 1991, two police officers (Lanny Flaherty and Andrew Alburger) grab a suspect (Joey Faye) in front of the restaurant and leave his cap behind. It is found by an English tourist (Benny Hill), who not knowing where to turn it in, takes it with him into the restaurant. Inside, he sits in a noisy seat and notices a lamp shaped like a naked woman, pulling the lamp shade down over her to appear as a skirt. The bartender (Lorraine Doyle gives him a smoky drink, but when a hooker (Debbie Scamp) notices the wad of bills he produces to pay for his drink, she rushes to his side and has him pay for her own drink. The hooker then starts running her hand over the tourist to get his cash, watching him place it in another pocket. She then manuvers her leg around him and snatches it in her toes, As she gets up and leaves, the cash flies bak to him via an elastic string recoiling it back.

Meanwhile, three hoods (Bob Todd, Johnny Hutch and Jon Jon Keefe) enter looking for their guy, not knowing he's been picked up. Seeing the tourist wearing his hat, they mistakenly meet with him, revealing a case full of cash. They want the matching case which is full of clothes and a teddy bear. Angry, they want their case back and pull out gun. Through some innocent interplay, the tourist gets the gun and tries to call the police but without success. The suitcases get shuffled and mixed up, and after the tourist departs, they get stuck with the tourist's suitcase full of clothes. Realizing the tourist had the money-filled suitcase, they race after him down the street, joined by the hookers standing on the sidewalk.

## Trivia

* McHales was a real theater restaurant located at 298 West 46th Street in New York City which closed down in January 2006. It later re-opened at 251 West 51st Street.
* Debbie Scamp looks like she maybe wearing the same dress [[[Sara Throssell]] wore in Hill's Angels Roll Call.
* When Lorraine Doyle tucks the cash down the front of her dress, it registers with the sound of a cash register. Benny possibly got inspiration for this gag from Bob Hope's 1989 Bahamas Special with LaToya Jackson, who performs the same gag.
* The exterior hookers are played by Lee Meredith, Margretha Hammer, Stacey Ann Logan and Caryn Rosenthal. The actors playing the gangster leaning on the building and the extra gangster are unidentified; the latter seems to be the same unidentified actor who played the fake mugger in How to Meet Beautiful Women.
* The vendor in the park is possibly Andrew Alburger.
* Along with How to Meet Beautiful Women, this was the only other sketch in the special to showcase the American cast and the British cast in one sketch.
Laraine Humphrys

**Laraine Humphreys** is a British comedy actress possibly best known for her appearances in the films "Whose Baby?," "Carry On, Dick" and "Up Pompeii." She was born Laraine Joy Humphreys on August 22, 1953 in the South American Republic of Guyana.

Her earliest appearances were in the films "Say Hello to Yesterday," "Up Pompeii" and "Get Charlie Tully" as well as the TV shows "The Adventurer," "Barlow" and several times on "Space: 1999." She also appeared in two episodes of "The Benny Hill Show," particularly in the "Hi Karachi" blooper on February 22, 1973. Her last appearance was in the film, "The Great Riviera Bank Robbery" as a girl in a villa. She has since returned to her modeling career.

## Episode(s)

* The Dalton Abbott Railway Choir - (as Laraine Humphries)
* Jackie Wright's Holiday

## Gallery

* "Space: 1999" appearance
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French for Starters

## Bio

**French For Starters** is a French language and etiquette instruction program hosted by Bettine Le Beau as the instructor and accompenied by her friend Claude (Benny Hill) as her friend, a hapless admirer longing for romance. Bettine is so involved in her lesson that fails to notice how much is Claude is trying to get close to her. In fact, on his arrival, she slams the door in his face just to give an additional French phrase. Once admitting him, she debates in her lesson if she should take him to the kitchen or the bathroom, place that don't interest him, but when she mentions the bedroom, he gets really excited.

Bettine instead offers to take him to the dining room, immediately showing him a seat far from her for him to sit. She also teaches the French phrases to offer him a piece of chocolate cake, which she never does, calling him "too fat." Although Claude is miffed, he is excited again when she starts talking about giving him a kiss before sending him off, which never occurs. His excitement grows when she starts discussing meeting him on a date with champagne or meeting him at his apartment, but he becomes estatic when she describes getting together at a nudist colony. However, his excitement is short-lived when she reveals he won't make it because of a broken leg.

## Trivia

* Benny Hill was actually fluent in French, German and Italian.

## Gallery

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March 1, 1958

## Production

**Episode:** 11

**Date:** March 1, 1958

**Time:** 45 minutes

**Musical Director:** Eric Robinson

**Producer:** John Street

**Director:**

**Writer:** Benny Hill and Dave Freeman

## Episode

* Guests include:
	+ Jiver Hutchinson (as Leslie 'Jiver' Hutchinson)
	+ Carl Barriteau
	+ The Kaye Sisters
	+ The George Mitchell Singers

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Dave Freeman
* Peter Vernon

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** February 1, 1958
* **Next Episode:** March 29, 1958
Katie Randall

**Katie Randall** is an English actress and dancer who starred as one of the Hill's Angels on "The Benny Hill Show."

Not much is known about her life or career. It's possible she is the one unidentified Angel from the Chez When routine on March 12, 1986 nick-named "Rusty" on the "Benny's Place" website. She also plays the tennis player with Lorraine Doyle and the girl in the shower prior to R. Dibble confusing it as a telephone.

## Episode(s)

* R. Dibble: Handyman (uncredited)
* The Herd (uncredited)
* Cagney and Lacey (uncredited)

## Gallery

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Getting To Know You

## Bio

**Getting To Know You** is a British-German education program given by an unnamed German professor (Benny Hill) with toussled hair from Herbert Strasser University on the "backside of Hamburg, Germany." His speech is centered on discussing the British way of life. Through his speech, he combines both German and English dialogue, making a script of his dialogue difficult if not impossible. A few highlights:

* Englishmen are fond of women with/from the two hemispheres
* "She is wearing an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weenie bikini. She is practically *nakked*"
* His heart is pounding so much his kidneys are screaming, "Stop dancing up there!"
* You must never assume because when you assume, you make an "ass" out of "you" and "me." (demonstrated on a chalkboard)
* Cleopatra's Noodle (Needle)
* "If you park in Western London, they will give you a ticket. They should give you a bloody medal!"
* "After the meal they will give you an after dinner mint. You will need a mint to pay for the bill!"
* Inflation rant that turns into an Adolf Hitler speech

## Gallery

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Hugh Paddick

**Hugh William Paddick** was an English character actor probably best known for the 1960s BBC radio show "Round the Horne." He also enjoyed success on stage playing Percival Browne in the original West End production of "The Boy Friend" in 1954.

Born in Hoddesdon, Hertfordshire on August 22, 1915, Paddick worked mostly on stage through his acting career. He was also an accomplished musician, singer, pianist and organist, often accompanying Julian and Sandy on the piano in a number of their sketches on both "Round the Horne" and "The Bona World of Julian and Sandy."

He was famous in Britain for his work with English comedian Kenneth Horne. He also worked with comedian Benny Hill on the April 20, 1968 of his BBC series and an episode of the sitcom anthology Benny Hill. He later played and announcer in an episode of his Thames TV series.

Paddick passed away in Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire in November 9, 2000 at the age of eighty-five, survived by his life partner, Francis, whom he met at a party in London thirty years before.

## Episode(s)

* The Dresser
* Knicker's World
* Woodstick
Jo Peters

**Jo Peters** is an British actress, known for a string of movies in the Seventies, such as "To the Devil a Daughter" with Zoe Hendry, "The Man Who Couldn't Get Enough" and "Confessions of a Window Cleaner " with Clare Russell. Her TV appearances include The Benny Hill Show, "The Two Ronnies" and "Ripping Yarns." Not much more is known about her career.
Los Zafiros

**Los Zafiros** was the name of two South American-style music bands that performed during the 1970s. One group originated in Cuba while the other originated in Spain.

Not much is known about the career of the Spanish group. The group included singers Alberto Martin, Ricardo Ogando and Pepe Pazos; they all performed vocals with Pazos playing the requinto guitar. The group was highly successful with high record sales and popular tours at home and abroad, including one appearance on "The Benny Hill Show" on the BBC and two more on October 14, 1970 and December 5, 1973 for Thames TV. They also appeared several times on "The Morecambe and Wise Show."

Not much is known about the trio today, but it is known that Alberto Martin has since passed away, the group possibly splitting up with his death.

## Episode(s)

* May 22, 1965 (BBC Television)
* The Underwater World of Jacques Custard (Thames TV)
* Spot Black (Thames TV)
Malou Cartwright

**Malou Cartwright** is an English actress, best known in England for appearing in the play, "No Sex Please, We're British" and the films "A Man with a Maid," "Marquis de Sade's Justine" and "Naughty Wives."

Not much is known about her life and career. Her first known credit was the film, "Naughty Wives" before starring on "The Benny Hill Show" for four episodes between 1973 and 1974. She appears in the "Match of the Week" sketch and with Diana Darvey at the start of the "Hawaii/Havaii" quickie on July 5, 1973, in one of the "Bo Peep" sketches on December 27, 1973 and in the two "Courting" quickies on February 7, 1974 in which she was uncredited.

After starring on "The Benny Hill Show," she had appearances in the TV shows "The Sweeney" and "The Professionals." Her last film role was "Marquis de Sade's Justine." Her later work is unrevealed.

## Episode(s)

* Spot Black
* Great British Dancing Finals
* Film Time at the National Film Theater
* Coalpits

## Gallery

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Manolo

## Bio

**Manolo** is a Mexican citizen about whom little is know. He may have been in prison once and at the mercy of a cruel guard (Bob Todd) who hit him every day. His number was 636. He had a girlfriend (Barbara Wise) at one time who wasn't very bright, but he later married someone else (Bella Emburg). His wife was a homemaker who also wasn't very bright. When asked to turn over rice pudding, she pours it out on the stove. On December 27, 1973, he turns up without his mustache in a sidewalk café with a friend (Jackie Wright, turning down milk from the waitress (Bella Emburg). On February 7, 1974, Manolo orders three beans on toast and she brings on three beans on a toasted slice of bread.

## Trivia

* Manolo was played by Benny Hill.
* A poster in the girlfriend sketch mentions Diana Darvey, who later joined the series as a semi-regular.
* Manolo accidentally putting his hand up the skirt of the young lady recurs in The Hot Shoe Show on April 25, 1984

## Episode(s)

* Spot Black
* Great British Dancing Finals
* Film Time at the National Film Theater]]

## Gallery

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George May

**George May** is an English actor and dancer whose work includes the TV shows "The Dick Emery Special," "The Benny Hill Show," "Janet and Company" and the films "Better Think Twice" and "Pennies from Heaven." In 2015, he was part of the production staff of the documentary "Real Scares." Not much more is known about him.
Helli Louise

**Helli Louise** is a former British actress who appeared in films and television during the 1970s.

She was born Helli Louise Brunchmann Jacobson on August 2, 1949 in Copenhagen, Denmark and moved to the UK in the early 1970s, studying at the London Film School around 1971. Represented by Barrie Stacey Promotions, she appeared in John Jesnor Lindsay's fake expose on the modeling world, "The Hot Girls" in 1974. She went on to several television appearances, including the Jackie Wright's Holiday and Scotsman's Bride sketches from The Benny Hill Show as well as "The Sweeney," "The Goodies" and several roles in British sex comedies and the 1975 film "Carry On Behind."

Known for her Danish-Cockney accent, Helli was also active on stage and appeared in a touring production of "Hair" in 1974 and in the stage farce, "Pyjama Tops" in 1973.

Helli was also the managing director of a clothing firm and worked in the music industry as the manager of a band named Ix. Her last role was in "The World Is Full of Married Men" in 1979 after which she left acting to pursue work full-time in the music industry full-time, often working for musical promoter Harvey Goldsmith.

## Gallery

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Margaret Dupre

Not much is known about **Margaret Dupre**. She played the brunette beauty in the The Wishing Well quickie that opened Benny Hill's first episode for Thames TV. Her credits as an actress include appearances in the movies "Coming of Age," "Centrespread" and "Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome." She has a recent credit as a costume maker for the 2016 Short, "Stripped."
Frank Coda

**Frank Coda** is an English actor and TV writer, known for "The Final Conflict," "I.D." and "The Young Poisoner's Handbook." Not much is known about his life and career which spans over five decades and includes over eighty appearances in television in the movies.

Born May 14, 1931 in London, England, his first known credit was in "The Granville Melodramas" at the age of 24. He also appeared in "Coronation Street," "Z Cars," "Callan," "Dixon of Dock Green," "Don't Drink the Water," "Bless This House" and "Rumpole of the Bailey." His film work includes "The Interrogator," "Oh! What a Lovely War," "Get Charlie Tully" and "The Final Conflict."

He also appeared on "The Benny Hill Show" on May 30, 1978, playing a stage hand to Benny Hill impersonating comedian Dave Allen from BBC2.

Coda's last known appearances include roles on the TV shows "EastEnders," "Tic," "The Bill" and "Maisie Raine."
Jim Tyson

**James Tyson** is an English actor best known for his comedic roles in bit parts on British television and the movies. Born September 2, 1912 in London, he started acting in a string of uncredited roles in the movies "The Belles of St. Trinian's," "All at Sea" and "Trial and Error" before finally getting credited in an episode of "Doctor Who." Followed by appearances on "The Avengers," "The Wednesday Play," "Seven Deadly Sins" and "St. Ives," he also made an appearance in the movie, "Inspector Clouseau" as well as uncredited appearances in the movies "Don't Raise the Bridge, Lower the River" and "Where Eagles Dare."

Tyson also appeared in several episodes of "The Benny Hill Show," including three episodes for the BBC and five episodes on Thames Television. Among his "Benny Hill" appearances, he is possibly most recognized as "the fat bald one" in "Scuttle's Keep Fit Brigade" on February 23, 1972 and in the "Adjudicating Panel" sketch on March 22, 1972. He also played the drums in the "Poor Prunella" segment in the same episode and in the movie, "If You Were the Only Girl in the World" and the TV series "Upstairs, Downstairs." Sadly, he passed away from a heart attack on September 9, 1974 in England, one week after his 62nd birthday and four months after his last appearance on "The Benny Hill Show."

## Episode(s)

(BBC)

* April 26, 1958
* November 20, 1968
* December 11, 1968

(Thames TV)

* Benny's All-Star Finale
* Down Memory Lane
* Dalton Abbott Railway Choir
* Spot Black
* Film Time at the National Film Theater
* Coalpits

## Gallery

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Mia Martin

**Mia Martin** is an English actress who had a short and brief acting career in the early Seventies, possibly best know for her role in "The Satanic Rites of Dracula" in 1973 and several roles on "The Benny Hill Show" between 1970 and 1972.

No much is known about her life and career. Her first acting role was in a 1966 production of "Peter Pan" playing Wendy Darling to actress Julia Lockwood as Peter. She went on to star in "Lady Windermere's Fan" for the "ITV Playhouse." This was followed up by her role as a nude character on the "Play For Today" TV series and several appearances on "The Benny Hill Show." She later had roles in the movies "Suburban Wives," "I, Daddy," "The Satanic Rites of Dracula" and "Commuter Husbands" as well as an appearance on the TV series, "Within These Walls" in 1975. She also starred in the play "Pyjama Tops" by Paul Raymond.

In her appearances on "The Benny Hill Show," she played several characters including a female passenger in a "Look #7" quickie on October 14, 1970, a contestant in Top of the Tops on January 27, 1971, a passenger on the S.S. Rumpo on November 24, 1971, the daughter of tennis player Otto Stük in a "Balmolive" blooper on December 22, 1971 and a chaperone to Pamela Cundell on February 23, 1972. Many of her appearances made it to The Best of Benny Hill feature.

In 2018, she was part of the production staff of the TV series documentary, "Mythological Beasts," receiving a Thanks credit in the show.

## Episode(s)

* The Underwater World Of Jacques Custard
* Top of the Tops
* Fun in the Kitchen with Johnny and Cranny Faddock
* News at Ten with Reginald Boozenquet
* Benny's All-Star Finale

## Gallery

* Mia Martin on the S.S. Rumpo
* Mia Martin, Benny Hill and Monika Ringwald
* with Fred Scuttle in the Keep Fit Brigade
* Benny Hill, Jenny Lee Wright and Mia Martin
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Maurice Murphy

**Maurice Murphy** is an Australian film and television director, producer, writer and actor best known for his work on "The Aunty Jack Show" and his 1980 feature film adaptation of the Australian comic strip Fatty Finn.

Born Maurice Brendan Murphy in 1939 in Sydney, Australia, he grew up inspired by the Abbott and Costello films and Bob Hope and Bing Crosby 'Road' movies. As an adult, he attended one month at Melbourne University before dropping out and working at Victorian Railways. He financed his theatrical pursuits at The Little Theatre in South Yarra by working at the Victorian Railways and working his way up to being a director.

His first big break was in 1967 working as a director on the variety series, "I'm Alright Now," with Reg Livermore. From 1968 to 1971, he worked in England at the BBC and London Weekend Television alongside Ronnie Barker, Tommy Cooper, Harry Corbett and Wendy Craig. He also directed the TV series "Doctor in the House," the fist British comedy series to be bought by American television. In 1968, Murphy directed the six-part series, "Complete and Utter History of Britain," starring Michael Palin and Terry Jones, a satirical look at medieval history resembling "Monty Python's Flying Circus."

Returning to Australia in 1972, Murphy helped create the "The Aunty Jack Show," starring Grahame Bond, Rory O'Donoghue, John Derum and Sandra McGregor, and its spin-off, "The Norman Gunston Show." In 1973, he became Head of Entertainment at the ABC, but he stepped in front of the camera in order to star with Benny Hill in Benny Hill: Down Under playing one of the gangsters in the "Archie's Angels" sketch.
Murphy has since written, directed or produced a number of independent feature films. His early works were for children, such as "Fatty Finn" and "Doctors and Nurses." He also created the young adult satirical comedy, "Exchange Lifeguards," starring Julian McMahon, Christopher Atkins and Elliott Gould. He also created wartime film, "15 Amore," starring Lisa Hensley and Steve Bastoni which was awarded the Audience Favourite Feature at the Aspen Filmfest in 1998 and the Crystal Palm Award at the Marco Island Film Festival in 2000. In 2014, he wrote and directed a feature length historical documentary about Queen Elizabeth II, "When the Queen Came to Town."
Frances Wingate

**Frances Wingate** is an English actress, model and dancer who appeared as one of the Hill's Angels on "The Benny Hill Show." She started out in the "Hot Gossip" dance troop along with fellow Angels Susie Waring, Lorraine Doyle and Penny Kendall. On "The Benny Hill Show," she appeared in the "Sport" number on February 5, 1989. Her later credits include the TV movie, "Tanya," and the TV series, "Love Soup."
Gypsy Rock

## Bio

**Gypsy Rock** was the opening number on December 22, 1971. It was performed by Benny Hill with The Ladybirds on back-up. Bettine Le Beau and Carol Mills appear briefly as gypsies. Benny performs a slide-whistle and a tambourine with the song.

## Lyrics

Please don't blame my doggy, it's not his fault at all,

Someone left a wet umbrella standing in the hall.

Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum.

Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum.

All together!

Some girls are like Cairo, mysterious and hot,

And other girls are like Paris with all the charm it's got.

But my girl is like Tibet with all its ice and snow there,

Cause everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

I like the girls that do, and I like the girls that don't,

I like the girls that will, and I like the girls that won't.

But the ones I like the best of all, I know you'll agree I'm right,

Is the girl who says she never has, but you often think she might.

Here we go, and...

Jackie is a barefoot boy and loves the gypsy life,

He also loves the gypsy girls, but don't you tell his wife.

One day he met a gypsy girl who was so big and round,

When standing up she looked like Harry Sycombe sitting down.

Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum.

Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum.

He said, "Oh look into my eyes and tell me what you see,"

She said, "Two big fat gypsy girls and they both look like me."

He asked her what her lips were for as they sat by a hedge,

She said, "They're there to stop me mouth from fraying around the edge."

Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum.

Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum.

She said, "You give me half a crown and I will read your palm,"

And then she saw his love line went halfway up his arm.

So now she's changed her prices, although she's just as willing,

It's big fat men at two pound ten, and little boys a shilling.

Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum.

Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum.

Oh one day they got married and they honeymoon was spent,

In a cottage down at Ilford Combe which overlooked the rent.

He staggered from his bed one day, his face was thin and lined,

He went over to the window and he went up with the blind.

Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum.

Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum.

Oh, Jack went off roaming soon after they were wed,

But his wife, she got so lonesome and she went around with Fred.

Oh, Jackie got to hear of this and said, "It's time I stopped her,"

So he flew home by aeroplane and by helicopter.

Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum.

Hi-diggi-dum-dum, diggi-diggi-dum-dum, Hi-hi-hi!
Joey

## Bio

**Joey** is a blue budgie living in a cage in an apartment somewhere in London. Her unseen owner named her "Joey" and her cat "Ben" without knowing they were female. Unfortunately, the cat eventually had kittens.

One day while out on the window sill, Joey is visited by a pigeon in a Cockney accent (Benny Hill) who teases her about living in a cage up until he learns she has a boy's name and then he becomes very sympathetic. Joey describes being sold through a pet shop and lamenting about her name. When hearing about the cat having kittens, the pigeon offers to give her the same courtesy. He invites her to come out with him, but she only gets out when her cage is cleaned. The pigeon asks about why she never escapes, but when she shows no interest, he accuses her of not having any spirit to do so. Joey eventually gets him to talk about life on the outside, and he starts talking about the dangers he's faced. He even refers to a jet as "a bird with his bum on fire."

The pigeon also tells her about El Cockalito, the stud in a cockatoo breeding farm in El Paz, Bolivia with his 150 mates and his death at the hands of a rival. The pigeon had fought him over the mating rights of Mona, another bird, but he never finishes his story as a large hawk swoops in and carries him away. As he's carried off, Joey just waves to him disappearing into the sunset.

## Trivia

* Joey was played by recurring sketch actress Anna Dawson.

## Gallery

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March 12, 1955

## Production

**Episode:** 3

**Date:** March 12, 1955

**Time:** 45 minutes

**Musical Director:** Eric Robinson

**Producer:** Kenneth Carter

**Director:**

**Writer:** Benny Hill and Dave Freeman

## Episode

* Quests include:
	+ Jerry Allen and his Trio
	+ The Edorics
	+ Four in a Crowd
	+ The Jack Billings Dancers

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Beryl Reid
* Jeremy Hawk

## Trivia

* After this episode, Benny took his show to the rival ATV Network for two episodes before returning to the BBC in 1957. He would go to ATV on several other occasions in-between BBC seasons.

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** February 12, 1955
* **Next Episode:** Saturday Comedy Hour
Hill Department Store Germany

## Bio

**Hill Department Store Germany** is a shopping mall somewhere in Germany visited by a middle-aged English couple (Benny Hill and Bella Emberg). Upon entering, they encounter the store manager (Paul Eddington) against the fake legs of a hosiery display, creating the illusion he is wearing the hosiery. Going through, the husband amuses himself by pretending to pick his nose on a glove display which the manager moves away. A few steps away, the wife is examining German lederhosen, and as the husband takes an interest, the manager shows him to a changing room to try on a pair, annoying a man in his underwear (Jackie Wright) in one and surpising one undressed lady (Libby Roberts) in another.

Meanwhile, two employees (Claire Lutter and Susie Baker) removed the female mannequin in the lederhosen display, and a shopper in an identical outfit (Teresa Lucas) ends up standing in its place. When the couple comes back out to examine the shorts on what they think is the display, the woman swings around and smacks the man for tugging on her shorts.

The couple heads to the restrooms marked "For Men" and "For Her," not realizing parts of the doors aren't on full display. The husband runs out of the ladies room chased by several women (Susie/Jane/Libby/Teresa/Claire) and the wife pursued by several men (Eddie Buchanan/Paul/Jackie) out of the store.

## Trivia

* This sketch was named for identification purposes on behalf of the Hill Department Store from March 29, 1973.
* The German words in the sketch translate as "panties" (panties), "stockings" (strumpfen), "bra tops" (bustenhaiters), "exit" (ausgang), "hot pants" (heiss hosen), "corsets" (korsets), "ladies" (damen) and "gentlemen" (herren).

## Gallery

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Lovely Girls From Crete

## Bio

**The Lovely Girls of Crete** was the opening song on March 25, 1981. It was performed by Benny Hill in a Greek cantina setting surrounded by the cast of the episode and the Hill's Angels doing back-up vocals.

## Lyrics

My father had the largest fleet of the fishing boats in Crete.

That's where all of my childhood days were spent.

In the cliffs of the house where we overlooked the sea.

And where we frequently overlooked the rent.

Now, the day that I was born

My dad's family came around to ascertain the new baby's weight.

"How cute." said my dad, and they murmured, "Oh, how sad.

"You only just got back your bait."

Now, I have seven older sisters, and they're all much older than me.

I used to wear their hand-me-downs to school, you see.

One day, my teacher wore a dress identical to my own,

And he was more upset then me.

My dad said, "Now that you're twenty-one,

"It's time you find a wife, my son.

"A Greek girl, a Czech, a Pole or a Turk."

So, I trekked around the world in search of a girl

That's too proud to have her husband go to work.

And though I am away

I still hear the silkies play

All those memories by the sea.

All those girls from Crete

So gentle and so sweet

I wish they'd dance again with me.

In England, Ann-Marie showed me her cottage by the sea.

There was ivy clinging to the porch.

I sensed immediately Ivy was the girl for me.

She had seen more romance than a copper's torch.

Now, I told George, her brother,

I took Ivy and her mother to Cheddar Cave for a treat.

"That's marvelous." said George. "Do you see the Devil's Gorge?"

I said, "No, I can't stand watching people eat."

And though I am away

I still hear the silkies play

All those memories by the sea.

All those girls from Crete

So gentle and so sweet

I wish they'd dance again with me.

I spent three weekends in malta with an organ grinder's daughter

Because I liked to have her monkey around.

she was a sexy little pup

She could really trip you up.

And be underneath you before you hit the ground.

Now, this German girl, Marlene,

She liked crystal creme.

I bought her a bottle in Berlin.

She said you really are a sport,

And then she popped the cork,

And poured it on her chest and rubbed it in.

And though I am away

I still hear the silkies play

All those memories by the sea.

All those girls from Crete

So gentle and so sweet

I wish they'd dance again with me.
Karate Dog and the Two Bears

## Production

**Episode:** 14

**Date:** January 29, 1973

**Producer:** Peter Whitmore

**Director:**

**Writer:** Dave Allen, Austin Steele and Peter Vincent

## Cast

* Dave Allen
* Ronnie Brody
* Jacqueline Clarke
* Michael Sharvell-Martin
* Peter Hawkins
* Robert East

## Quotes

* **Dave Allen** - "God bless the women; where would we be without you?" (*pauses*) "Free!!"

* **Dave Allen** - (*grinning*) "Michael's never been the same since Jackie sat on him." (*following the Lady Godiva sketch*)

* **Dave Allen** - "They don't make movies like that anymore, but we do." (*about movies*)

## Trivia

* Dave identifies his childhood influences as Ronald Colman, Errol Flynn, Roy Rogers, Hopalong Cassidy and John Wayne "with his own hair."
* Ebenezer Hampton and his brother Rufus are the unseen characters mentioned in the Lady Godiva sketch.
* The Abraham Lincoln sketch in this episode is included in the "Vintage Dave Allen" tape.

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** Bond, Holmes and Watson
* **Next Episode:** Fear
Lindsay Neil

**Lindsay Neil** is an English dancer who starred as one of the Hill's Angels during the 1984 episodes of "The Benny Hill Show" when Libby Roberts, formerly of "Love Machine," worked as choreographer on the show.

Neil he was born in Accra, Ghana in West Africa and lived mostly in Africa, spending a bit of time in the Middle East. She attended schools in Kenya, Bahrain and Tripoli as well as a few different schools in the United Kingdom. During this time, she was a member of the music group, Cindy and The Saffrons, with Sally Stairs and future actress Joanne Whalley of "Willow" and "Age of Darkness" fame. At Abbey Road Studios in 1982, they recorded a cover of the Shangri-Las' song "Past, Present and Future" which peaked at #56 in the UK Singles Chart in January 1983. That same year, their version of "Terry," originally by Twinkle, was released. They split up soon thereafter with Whalley concentrating on her career as an actress and Neil going on to do theater and perform on stage, eventually landing a role on "The Benny Hill Show." <br<
In the series, Neil performed as one of the Hill's Angels as both a sketch actress in The Hot Shoe Show parody among other sketches and in the "Workout" act in the same April 25, 1984 episode. After leaving the show, she studied art and completed her diploma in the Fine Arts.

Now living in Australia, she now works as a successful painter and has her own website as Lindsay Neil Baikie. She also has two girls and a boy with her husband.

## Episode(s)

* The Hot Shoe Show (uncredited)
* Scuttle-Vision (uncredited)

## Gallery

* Lisa, Erica, Lindsay and Benny in "The Hot Shoe Show"
* Lisa, Lindesey, Benny, Andrew and Len
* Lindsay and Benny
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Michael Sharvell Martin

**Michael Sharvell-Martin** was an English television and stage actor whose career spanned over three decades, guest starring in most primetime dramas and comedies throughout the Seventies and Eighties.

He was born Michael Ernest Martin on February 2, 1944 in Herne Bay, England, later training in stage management at the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School. His acting debut was at the Everyman Theatre, Cheltenham in 1965, where he adopted the stage name, Michael Sharvell-Martin over a previous actor called Michael Martin.

Working mostly in television, Sharvell-Martin became a familiar character actor on British television screens, making numerous guest appearances in television programmes such as "The Benny Hill Show," "Dad's Army," "Terry and June," "Yes, Minister" and "Murder Most Horrid," before becoming best known as a supporting cast actor on the long-running television series, Dave Allen at Large, probably his best remembered series for his role as Dave's recurring stooge and sidekick. The show also starred Ronnie Brody, another "Benny Hill Show" cast member.

Sharvell-Martin also had a recurring role as Trevor Botting in the television situation comedy, "No Place Like Home" and appeared in two episodes of the BBC's department store sitcom "Are You Being Served?" in the 1980s. His stage appearances included several West End comedy farces and numerous pantomime roles. He passed away October 28, 2010 at the age of 68 in Wincanton, England, survived by his wife, Linda Hind, of thirty-three years and two children.

## Episode(s)

* The European Song Contest
* Is This Your Life
* Tommy Tupper in Tupper-Time
* The Sound of Frankenstein
* The Underworld Water of Jacques Custard

## Gallery

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Laura Grant

**Laura Grant** is a British actress, dancer, performer and inventor who formerly appeared on "The Benny Hill Show." Her identity and appearances on the show have not been confirmed: she may be the same person remembered by cast member Sue Upton as Laura Hack.

Not much is known about life and career. According to an interview, she first appeared on "The Benny Hill Show" in 1981 at the age of 17, which would make her born around 1964. Described as blonde and busty, she was working as a puppeteer on the Isle of Wight when she heard about auditions for the show and auditioned with a few dance steps. She only appeared on the show for one season in 1981 (at the beginning of the Hill's Angels popularity).

It is not known which sketches or episodes of the series Laura appeared in of the series. She recalls Benny Hill as "very sweet and down-to-earth," but of the series, she recalls filming at the studios in Teddington and often performing in a skimpy bikini, commenting that the costume department were always having to sew flowers round the edge of her top (either the Paradise number from 1981 or Home on Paradise Island in 1982) to restrain her bust size. Leaving the show, she appeared on "The Two Ronnies" and "Jasper Carrot." However, she stopped performing to settle down and have kids. In 1997, she married her husband, Andrew, and had a daughter, Brittany.

Working for a time in her parents' clothes shop, she soon turned toward developing a few ideas of her own, such as creating a hands-free hair dryer, later willing a silver medal for her innovation at the Inventors Fair in 1998. She also developed a high chair with a novelty tray for children, later running in the 2001 Women Inventor of the Year awards.
H.M. Prison Parkmore

## Bio

**H. M. Prison Parkmore** is a prison facility near Parkmore, located somewhere in England. Not much is known about the location, but one of its prisoners is a burglar (Benny Hill) picked up by two officers (Cyril Cross and Jayne-Marie). In prison, he's placed in a line-up to identify the father of a child and gets caught trying to escape from his cell by a guard (actor unknown) after cutting through the bars. However, after some time of good behavior, he gets treated like royalty and receives early parole. Once he's out, however, he heads straight to the park to dig up his buried booty, only to discover a Police Training College has been built on top of it.

## Trivia

* Benny also had a prison sketch, H.M. Prison Teddington, in Down Memory Lane.
* The woman with the baby is Faye Hillier.
* The men in the line-up are Eddie Connor, Ken Sedd, Tina Bond(?) and Johnny Hutch.
* Roger Finch plays the guard who dismisses Benny.

## Gallery

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Langley Base Army Camouflage Unit

## Bio

The **Langley Base Army Camouflage Unit** is a British Armed Forces special forces division specially trained in the art of camouflage. They are staking out a glade in the Heathrow countryside where a young couple (Jimmy Thompson and Jenny Lee-Wright) come for a picnic, but soon the young couple hear the tree trunks rustling. The young man uses one of them to relieve himself, much to the distress of the soldier in it. After the couple departs, the soldiers relax with drink and cigarettes, but in time, a young lady (Sue Bond and her two friends, Cheryl Gilham and Dennie Bayliss) have decided to go sunbathing in front of them. The members of the stunned unit take snapshots as the girls strip down to their underwear and depart for the clearing, leaving their clothes hanging on some nearby branches.

The scene is interrupted by the arrival of Tredder and Son woodcutters (Bob Todd and Jackie Wright) who proceed to try to saw down one of the tree-trunks, sending the disguised troops into a panic. The unit takes off down the grassy slope chased by the woodcutters and the young women.

## Trivia

* The men in the tree trunks are possibly Benny Hill, Henry McGee and Nicholas Parsons
* It is unknown who plays the driver in the truck.
* The location is of the sketch is unrevealed, but it's possibly somewhere near Teddington. In an interview, Sue Upton mentions Benny always filmed on locations close to the Teddington Studios.
	+ It might actually be on the grounds that later became Thorpe Park, but this is unconfirmed.

## Gallery

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My Darling, Lulu Belle

## Bio

**My Darling, Lulu Belle** was the opening number on December 17, 1975. It was performed by Benny Hill as W.C. Fields and accompanied by Jackie Wright and Leanne Robinson providing sound effects from horns, whistles and bells among other devices. The setting is against farmyard backdrop on stage.

Lulu Belle is also the name of Benny's love in The Halitosis Kid.
Leroy Hyde

Not much is known about actor **Leroy Hyde**. He had an uncredited role as a native servant in the News At Ten sketch in the December 22, 1971 episode of "The Benny Hill Show." He later played Jimmy in the movie "The Moon Over the Alley." Not much more is known about him, but he is possibly no longer acting.
Leigh Miles

**Leigh Miles** is an English actress and dancer who starred as one of the Hill's Angels on "The Benny Hill Show." She also starred on the children's TV show, "Crackerjack," from 1980 to 1982 and on "Jeeves and Wooster" as a chorus girl with Nola Haynes, another "Benny Hill" cast member.

Miles was a student at the Arts Educational School and became a professional dancer in 1979, starring in several projects and television shows in uncredited roles. Since 1995, she has worked as a choreographer within the film and television industries.

## Episode(s)

* Women's Lib TV
* Butch Cafferty and the Fundance Kid
* Name That Tune
* Big Poppa - uncredited
Harold Gee

**Harold Gee** is an English musician. Not much is known about him. He played a fiddler in the 1962 movie, "Captain Clegg," which was released under the name, "Night Creatures," in the United States. Benny Hill must have seen the movie or been aware of it since Gee also played a fiddler for his ballad, The Old Fiddler, on February 4, 1970.
Jenny Lee-Wright

**Jenny Lee-Wright** is a English actress and dancer possibly best known for her appearances on "The Benny Hill Show." Nick-named "The Sexiest Stooge" by Benny Hill, she was his original female comedy partner in numerous comedy sketches through the series.

Not much is known about her past and family. Choosing to keep much of her life private, it is known she was born February 21, 1947 in London, England, and that she left school at the age of 16 to train as a ballerina with the Ballet Ramber, later becoming part of a French cabaret group that traveled the world in 1967. Upon returning to England, she joined Lionel Blair's dance troupe, later turning to acting and working with such comedians as Morecambe and Wise, Dick Emery, Mike and Bernie Winters, Les Dawson, Spike Milligan, Frankie Howerd and Tommy Cooper, but she was possibly best known for her work with Benny Hill. While meeting an agent on vacation in the United States, she was invited on onto a talk show to talk about working on his show during the height of his American popularity. Other television appearances included roles on "Crossroads," "The Protectors," "Paul Temple," "General Hospital," "Beryl's Lot" "Jason King," "Minder" and "Public Eye." She was also a hostess on game shows, such as "The Golden Shot" in 1967, "Masterspy" and the talent show, "Search for a Star."

In 1970, she made her film debut in "Husbands" by John Cassavetes alongside actor Peter Falk of "Columbo" fame. Other films included Michael Apted's "The Triple Echo" in 1972, "Wife Swap" with Benny Hill alumnae Nicholas Parsons and "Madhouse" alongside Vincent Price and Peter Cushing in 1974.

Between acting jobs, Jenny worked as a foley artist, attributing her sense of timing in the field to her training as a dancer. She also stood in as the hostess on "Bruce Forsyth's Generation Game" for several weeks while regular hostess Anthea Redfern was absent on maternity leave. By the late 1980s, she was doing almost entirely foley work for such movies as "My Left Foot," "Shakespeare in Love," "Muppet Treasure Island," the James Bond movie "Die Another Day" and "The Phantom of the Opera," based on the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.

## Episode(s)

* Top of the Tops
* Undercover Sanitary Inspector
* Cinema: The Vintage Years
* Fun in the Kitchen
* Benny's All-Star Finale
* Down Memory Lane
* The Common Market Square Dance
* Murder on the Oregon Express
* The Bionic Baby
* Villain of the Year
* Friday Night Fever
* Leprechaun TV
* Talking Point
* Super-Teech
* Holiday
* Scuttle-Vision
* Forever Love
* Carmen
* The Herd

## Gallery

* with Eddie Buchanan and Benny
* Jenny Lee Wright today
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John Quayle

**John Quayle** is an English television actor best remembered for his roles in many sitcoms, including "All Gas and Gaiters," "Terry and June," "Steptoe and Son" and "The Liver Birds."

Born December 21, 1938, Quayle's first main TV role was that of Jim Hawkins in the 1951 BBC serialisation of "Treasure Island." He also appeared episodes of "Greyfriars School," "The Power Game," "No Hiding Place," "Doomwatch," "The Dick Emery Show," "The Good Life," "The Duchess of Duke Street," "Happy Ever After," "Mind Your Language," "The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin" and a semi-regular role on "Upstairs, Downstairs."

Quayle also starred in two episodes of "The Benny Hill Show," appearing in the Grand Wheelchair Race in the December 26, 1978 episode and playing a Sam Spade-esque detective in the April 25, 1979 episode.

In the 1980s, Quayle played the two roles that he is perhaps the most remembered for, the Duke of Broughton in the BBC period drama "Nanny" and becoming the third actor after Terence Alexander and Tim Barrett to play the Medfords' best friend, Malcolm, on "Terry and June." He also played a lead role in the sitcom, "Farrington of the F.O." His later roles included appearances on "Hippies," "Coronation Street," "The Bill," "The Midsomer Murders," "Monarch of the Glen" and "Lab Rats."

Quayle has also had appearances in the theater, starring in productions of Agatha Christie's "Afternoon at the Seaside" and "Light Up The Sky." His films include "Night Train to Paris," "Privates on Parade," "Longitude," "Seeing Red," "A.K.A." and "Fish Tales."

Since 1976, Quayle and his wife, Petronell, have used their farmhouse as an animal sanctuary, starting with two donkeys from the Donkey Sanctuary near Sidmouth and later adopting their third donkey, Jacob. Other animals included a pony, a horse, three pugs and a Russian Blue cat.

## Episode(s)

* Friday Night Fever
* Leprechaun TV
* The Police Raid in Waterloo Station
Lee Gibson

**Lee Gibson** is an English actress, singer and entertainer with a successful singing career covering almost thirty years.

Gibson was born March 5, 1950, in Watford, England. Not much is known about her youth, but she started out as a singer and later turning to acting with appearances in "Victor, Victoria," "Privates on Parade," "The Great Muppet Movie," "An American Tail," "Willow" and "Yentl." Her television appearances include roles in "The Two Ronnies," "The Morecambe and Wise Show," "Only Fools and Horses," "Barrymore" and later "The Benny Hill Show." She was appearing at London's premier cabaret venue "The Talk of the Town" when she was invited to appear on "The Benny Hill Show," where she starred as a cast member and as an entertainer. On the show, she performed the songs, "Sweet Gingerbread Man," "You Stepped Out of a Dream," "The Moment of Truth," Mad About You and Happy Together with Jon Jon Keefe.

After working with Benny, she appeared on other UK television shows before developing a highly successful solo jazz singing career. including many broadcasts for BBC Radio, session singing and live performances either with a small jazz group or singing with big bands or orchestras. Lee has been regularly featured as a jazz singer in over 1,000 broadcasts on BBC Radio including live broadcasts with the BBC Big Band and the BBC Concert Orchestra. She has also appeared as a performer at The Barbican, The Purcell Room, The Queen Elizabeth Hall, The Fairfields Hall, Ronnie Scotts, Pizza on the Park, the 606 Club, The Spice of Life and all the major jazz venues throughout the UK and Europe.

As well as working with her own trio and quartet, Lee is a highly respected and accomplished big band singer, recording and starring with The Netherlands Metropole Orchestra in Holland, the UMO Jazz Orchestra in Finland, the WDR Band, the Francy Boland Band in Germany and the Danish Radio Band. She also accompanied the multi-award winning Midlands Youth Jazz Orchestra at the opening night concert of the IAJE conference in Toronto and for festivals at Topeka and Palm Springs and at The Orleans Casino in Las Vegas with the Ken Peplowski Big Band. She has a long association with leading UK jazz independent record label, Spotlite Records, who has released all three of her solo albums, "Songs of Time and Place," "Linger Awhile" and "Here’s to Love," all to critical acclaim.

Since married, she is now divorced with one child. She was also the Professor of Jazz Vocal Studies at London's Guildhall of School and Music until 2020.

## Episode(s)

* Dalton Abbott Railway Choir
* Gavin Blod - The Man and his Music
* Great Mysteries with Orson Buggy
* The South Blank Show
* Friday Night Fever
* The Police Raid in Waterloo Station
* A Tribute to the Lower Tidmarsh Volunteer Fire Brigade
* WonderGran Meets Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde
* Big Poppa
* Carmen

## Images

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