The Most Lamentable...

**The Most Lamentable...** (Full title: The Most Lamentable Tragedy of the Prince of England and His Long Lost Twin Brother, Prince Regent of France and the Problems Therein Experienced by All When they came to Know of One Another after a Battle.) is the second episode of The Goes Wrong Show's second series, which was first broadcast on Monday 4th October 2021.

## Summary

Chris Bean returns to the leadership of the Cornley Drama Society and puts on a production of a little-known play by Shakespeare. Simon Shakespeare, that is - cousin of the better known Colin Shakespeare. Sadly his attempts to bring culture to the masses are thwarted by self-raising drawbridges, flammable props and an unfortunate meeting of a power cable and a metal suit of armour.

Robert doesn't take his relegation to a non-speaking part lying down either, attempting to infiltrate every scene with his 'relevant trumpeter.' And there's a battle scene for the ages, where none of the stops have been pulled out.

## Full Plot

Most of the scenes feature a trumpeter, played by Robert. It is supposed to be non-speaking but Robert heckles Chris throughout the play, and steals the battle scene with a costume comprising six life-size heads of soldiers, (plus his own) double sided so that they can represent both English and French armies

The title spells out the basic plot, and in a Prologue the narrator (Sandra) fills in some of the back story, although most of this is recapped in the dialogue of the first scene anyway.

The play opens in the court of King Walter (Annie), who has not long to live. There are two rival heirs to his throne - one is the King's brother Malcolm (Jonathan), who is carrying on a secret affair with the King's wife Queen Isobel (Vanessa). However the King instead names as his heir his illegitimate son Prince Richard (Chris).

Prince Richard goes off to war against the French, during which Lord Buckingham (Sandra) captures a French prisoner (Max) who looks and sounds remarkably like Prince Richard. (Although literal-minded Dennis later remarks to Vanessa that they are clearly not alike).

Returning to England with the prisoner, Prince Richard confronts his father about the Frenchman's identity, and the King confesses that Richard 's mother was not a common strumpet as he had always claimed - Richard and the Frenchman are twins, the result of a liaison between King Walter and Queen Eleanor of France. The babies were separated at birth and raised in their respective parents' courts, Richard's brother now being revealed to be none other than Louis, the Prince Regent of France.

The King and Prince Louis express a desire to make peace between England and France, but Prince Richard is not happy at having a rival. He poisons his father in his sleep and frames Louis for the crime. However Eric the Jester sees enough to suspect Richard of the crime and tells the Queen. She sees an opportunity to get rid of both Richard and Louis, and sends for her lover Malcolm.

Louis, having been framed and arrested by Richard, is thrown into the dungeon. Richard dismisses the torturer (Sandra again), and is on the point of executing Louis when he is interrupted by Malcolm and the Queen. Malcolm (Jonathan) is supposed to wound Richard (although as Jonathan has been trapped in an "iron maiden", Vanessa has to strike the blow on his behalf) and Richard is taken away by the guard (Trevor). Louis then kills Malcolm in a duel and is crowned king - at least, that is what the epilogue (spoken by Sandra) implies should have happened - in the event the iron maiden, still containing Jonathan, falls on top of Max, knocking them both unconscious.

With Max (Louis) out of it, Sandra as the narrator improvises a new ending, in which Queen Isobel (Vanessa) takes the throne, but before she can be crowned Vanessa is herself knocked out by a piece of falling scenery. Eric the Jester (Dennis) is now the only character with a speaking part left standing, but Sandra refuses to give the Crown to him so, with no other option left, she gives the Crown to Robert, who delivers the last line - "at last the Trumpeter is relevant". Robert then takes the opportunity to break character and demand Chris' execution.

## Cast

* Narrator/Lord Buckingham/Torturer - Sandra Wilkinson
* King Walter - Annie Twilloil
* Queen Isobel - Vanessa Wilcock-Wynn-Carroway
* Prince Richard - Chris Bean
* Prince Louis - Max Bennett
* The (Ir)relevant Trumpeter - Robert Grove
* Eric the Jester - Dennis Tyde
* Malcolm - Jonathan Harris
* Nobleman - Trevor Watson
* Malcolm (Cleaner) - himself

## Trivia

* Malcolm the cleaner is played by the series director, Martin Dennis.
	+ This is the first time he's appeared since "The Lodge"
* The team originally intended to film the items getting stuck to the suit of armour in reverse, as the Charlie Chaplin films used to, but in the end they filmed it using a series of pulleys to make the objects fly across the room.
* Nancy Zamit (Annie) and Dave Hearn (Max) do a fistbump in this episode. They tried to get one in every episode, but only three stayed in the final edit: this episode, A Trial To Watch and Cornley Drama Festival.
* Annie and Vanessa are cast as husband and wife in this play. They are again cast as husband and wife in Annie's 1970's farce in the "Cornley Drama Festival"
* Chris and Max are cast as brothers, as they were in "A Trial to Watch", with Chris either killing Max, or trying to.
* According to fellow writers, Henry Lewis (Robert Grove) has apparently wanted to do the joke where Robert is dressed in a double-sided costume as two armies for a long time.
* The scene where Max forces Chris to copy his ridiculous line reads uses the last take of the scene, due to it being the most over-the-top. Dave Hearn, as Max, is visibly laughing to the point of tears as he plays to the audience, and Henry Shields (Chris) is visibly struggling not to laugh too.
* There was a cut scene where Nancy (Annie) slid under the drawbridge, which fell and pulled her clothes off. This scene was cut for time, although Annie is still seen without her clothes during the poisoning scene that would have followed.
* Charlie (Sandra)'s performance as the torturer was inspired by Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves.
* Trevor (Chris Leask) appears in costume in this production, although he also carries out some stage managerial functions, such as replacing the broken "poison" bottle. His costume is incomplete as, unlike the other male characters, he is not wearing tights but is bare-legged. (He also appears briefly in costume in The Nativity, as a member of King Herod's court)
* Actual mistakes in this episode:
	+ Annie screaming "Stop! Stop!" when she nearly falls off the chair due to the low-hanging portcullis was actually Nancy Zamit crying out in alarm due to very nearly falling off for real. Zamit reflected that in hindsight, she should have called out the safe-word, though she was able to remain on the chair in the end.
	+ At the end of the play, Vanessa was intended to fall next to, rather than on top of, the gargoyle that knocks her out, but the take worked so they kept it.
	+ Sandra starting to say her line too early in the closing monologue only to be interrupted by the trumpets was a genuine mistake made by Charlie Russell.
* During the rehearsal for the "Bonnie Peggy Ramsey" song, the creative team had trouble figuring out how to make the music work. It wasn't until the camera rehearsal, while the episode was being filmed, that Chris Leask (Trevor) suggested he could use his guitar skills to learn the song on a lute. The idea was turned down due to it being so late in the process: Leask recalled Martin Dennis glaring at him and remarking "And you're choosing *now* to tell us this?"