298: AS YOU FIIIIISH

## Summary

The dragon explodes in a puff of smoke and the Anglerfish tells the party to enter the butte, claiming the rock is actually Savnok himself, where they must finally put an end to him by destroying his brain within. Batthwack presses on through a series of doors that alter the group's memories as they pass through, followed by Rosco, who actually gains a surprising memory about his past, and then stabs Savnok's brain with the dragon's tooth. Raphina asks the Anglerfish to restore old Beartoggle, but he doesn't know what she's talking about, and when she swims up to the surface, she finds herself back on the old Beartoggle River with no way to return to her companions.

## Synopsis

The dragon screams in pain and promptly vanishes in a puff of smoke, leaving Batthwack holding the dragon's tooth. *"Good job, dude! You got it!"* yells the Anglerfish excitedly. Batthwack immediately turns and heals Raphina, but no sooner has he done so, the Anglerfish shouts *"Hurry guys! Get away from her. She's gonna blow!"* In the heat of the moment, they'd all forgotten that Raphina was coated in the dragon's explosive mucus. Will runs straight for her, casting *Prestidigitation* as he goes, removing the last glob of goo by snipping off the end of her pigtail with some moustache trimming scissors. The pigtail is hastily wrapped in a handkerchief and shoved down into the sediment with the *Immovable Rod*, which helps lessen the blast significantly.

The Anglerfish calls out urgently, *"Hurry guys! Quick!"* *"What now, fish?!"* yells back Will angrily, still reeling from the explosion and not yet ready for more drama. The Anglerfish shines its blue light down from the top of the butte, grimly illuminating a huge slack-jawed face in the rock itself, its mouth hanging open like a cave entrance. *"Before he makes another dragon, we gotta kill him! You guys gotta get in there. Get in him! You gotta take out his brain, man. Look, he's stunned. Stab it with the tooth!"* Despite Will's protestations, Batthwack doesn't hesitate in making his way towards the mouth cave, dragon tooth in hand.

Meanwhile Rosco, who is still atop the butte, is in a slightly manic state following the Anglerfish's revelation that he has some fairy magic. *"I know a thing or two about the that type of magic, I met some folks like that with the fey magic, why would I have druid magic? This is crazy, all right? I don't like that you told this to me, though thank you for the information and one more thing..."* His arms are flailing wildly and he loses his balance, slowly and gracelessly tumbling head over heads down the rock face, eventually landing right inside the cave mouth just as Batthwack arrives.

Will examines the rock and realises it does seem to be breathing very slowly. Inside the mouth is a small chamber with a traditional looking door set into back wall. Words over the doorway are written in Infernal, a language which only Will can read. *"Fuck you, we're not doing this,"* he says before relaying the message to everyone: *"Choose a memory to lose from the past two weeks."* Batthwack is in no mind to wait. He says *"I already did,"* swims forward and opens the door. Beyond is a dark passageway that bends sharply to the left. He goes through the doorway. Raphina says she's chosen her memory and is about to follow when Will urges her to not be so hasty. Batthwack tells them all to wait while he follows the passageway, finding that it zig-zags down to another door, with more writing in Infernal above it.

Relaying this to everyone, it becomes clear that at least Will is going to have to go through the first doorway as well, if they want to understand the message over this next door. Raphina explains that she's chosen to forget the calliope music and goes merrily dancing through the door. Will calls after her and as a test asks her to sing the tune, but she hums something totally wrong. It hadn't occurred to Will to choose something he actually wanted to forget. *"If it can be that simple, I want to forget the poop room,"* he says as he follows through the door. Rosco also follows, having also selected a memory to lose, but as he's going through, he's so preoccupied by the whole fey magic reveal that it's actually the memory of that conversation that he loses.

Inside the door, Will casts *Light* on the *Immovable Rod* and they make their way to the second door. Will reads the words over it, and laughs disbelievingly. *"Oh god, no. I don't think that I am willing to go through this door. We have to lose a random memory."* Batthwack is insistent, saying, "We have to remove these gods from this plane, right?" and Raphina agrees, *"I don't think you're getting back to Tivoli without it though."* *"I might forget Tivoli and then what do I have? Nothing,"* replies Will. *"This isn't even home. Where are we?"* says Batthwack. *"I don't want to forget what home is,"* replies Will. Batthwack opens the door and they see a sharp turn to the right about 15 feet ahead. Batthwack goes through. Frustrated, Will calls after him, *"What's your wife's name, Batthwack?!"* Batthwack glares back at him, but keeps walking. Will continues to shout, *""WHAT ABOUT THE LITTLE GIRL?!!"*

Batthwack zig-zags down the corridor, eventually reaching a third door, again with more Infernal writing over it. He calls back to beckon Will on, but Will is resolutely staying put and suggests instead that he write down the words and bring them back to show him. The thought briefly flits across Batthwack's mind that he could just drag Will through, but then Rosco has an idea for how he can help and pipes up. *"I promised you folks a day before I got to get out of Beartoggle. I'm just gonna go in."* He's been thinking about how memory lapses and flashes of déjà vu have been plaguing him, but as he steps through, a fully formed memory seems to crystalize in his mind. Rosco seems flustered and confused for a moment. *"Are you okay? Rosco?"* asks Batthwack cautiously. Rosco does manage to recall his idea and although he's still not sure how he's able to cast magic, he studies the words over the door and recreates them with a *Minor Illusion* before bringing it back for Will to read. Will looks deflated upon reading this latest instruction. *"You're gonna have to forget one of the people closest to you,"* he tells Rosco. It's clear who Raphina considers close to her. *"Oh, I knew that was gonna happen. But don't worry. It'll be fun to meet again,"* she says.

Rosco returns to Batthwack and his voice becomes serious as he relays the news. Suddenly switching subject, Rosco asks Batthwack, *"What's the best sex you've ever had?"* He tries to sound casual, but his eyes are wide and terrified. Batthwack looks back at him seriously. Rosco continues, *"It's a normal thing to remember right?"* Batthwack's not sure how to answer, saying, *"Are you okay, Rosco?"* Rosco replies sombrely, *"I don't know."* Batthwack searches the walls for a secret way through, but can find no other option than using the door. Rosco is feeling so disorientated and losing any sense of self-preservation, that he turns to Batthwack and says, *"Give me the tooth. I'll go through. Whatever happens through this next door, it cannot be worse than the last 50 years of my life. Okay? I've had nothing but bad luck for as long as I can remember. And now everything seems to be coming to a head."* Batthwack insists they go together, but Rosco points out that this doesn't achieve anything, saying, *"What if you forget... Will was talking about your wife and your kid. I don't got nobody like that."* Batthwack reluctantly agrees, but makes Rosco promise that he'll call for Batthwack if he needs help.

The door is swung open and beyond is a smallish room, around 20 feet square. It's empty, bare and dark. Rosco casts *Druidcraft* to conjure bioluminescence to coalesce on the walls. In the dim light he is just able to make out what looks like a normal human brain leaning up against the back wall. As he steps through the doorway, Rosco focuses on Tanya, hoping that he might influence the effect and forget about her. He passes into the room and pauses as a change comes over him. He mutters, *"Well, that's not what I expected to happen."* *"Let's end it,"* says Batthwack and Rosco, with a devil-may-care attitude, begins dancing towards the brain.

Outside, Will is nervously wondering what's going on. *"What if they're losing their minds in there, then what? We'll be the only two people that can save the world."* *"We already are the only two people who can save the world right?"* says Raphina and Will actually feels comforted by this, recalling how easily Raphina seemed to destroy the Swirly Man.

Rosco dances up to the brain, kneels down, grasps the tooth in both hands and raises it over his head. *"For Tanya,"* he whispers and slams the tooth down into the brain. Blood disperses out into the water as Rosco holds his breath. Nothing happens. *"Is it dead?"* asks Batthwack. *"I... think so?"* says Rosco tentatively. *"Hey Batthwack..."* There's a long pause before Rosco continues, *"You ever had sex with a woman and then met another woman who looked exactly like her?"* Batthwack laughs and from outside, Raphina's booming Thaumaturgy voice echoes down the corridors, *"What's going on?"* Rosco slowly stands up, the tooth hanging at his side. He turns around, looks at Batthwack, and it seems he can no longer contain himself. In response to Raphina's question he shouts, *"I FUCKED A FAIRY QUEEN!"*

Feeling the rock wall again, it seems to Will that the breathing has stopped. Everyone makes their way back out of the cave, feeling slightly concerned that nothing seems to have happened. The Anglerfish greets them enthusiastically, *"You can't tell? It's dead!"* it says. Rosco storms angrily straight up to the Anglerfish. *"What the fuck are those doors about? What the fuck am I?"* The Anglerfish explains that that's what Savnok is all about: messing with your mind. *"Is it defeated or just gone?"* asks Batthwack. *"No, he's defeated, man. You'll see."* replies the Anglerfish. Raphina's still not sure. *"Why is the lake still here?"* she asks disappointedly, continuing, *"I thought that he was responsible for the time weirdness."* The Anglerfish doesn't know about that. He says he's nearly back to full strength though. *"You want me to do something for you guys? I mean, you guys earned it. I could do some fucking gnarly shit, man."*

*"I want the old Beartoggle to come back,"* says Raphina, explaining that everyone here thinks she's a serial killer. The Anglerfish seems confused. *"What? What old Beartoggle? I remember there was a Raphina in Beartoggle. Sure. Not a serial killer though."* Raphina looks up again at the surface of the lake way over their heads. Noticing this, Will is determined to help get Raphina up the surface and holds out his hand to indicate he's offering up a spell. *"I just want a peek at the top," says Raphina and Will Polymorph's* her into a large luminescent lobster. She begins lobstering her away speedily towards the surface and before long she is out of view of the others.

It gets lighter and lighter as Raphina swims closer to the surface. Eventually, her little lobster head breaks the surface of the water, her eyes on stalks looking all around. To her surprise, Raphina finds herself not in the lake, but in the good old hale and hardy Beartoggle River north of the town, just as she's always remembered it. Beartoggle itself is visible over in the distance. She breaches the surface in pure joy and flips back down into the water, only to crash into the riverbed. Where's the lake and where are her companions?!

## Quotes

* Add your favourite quotes from the episode here!

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Adam. Rosco was yabbering on manically to the Anglerfish: *"I know a thing or two about the dat type of magic and <incomprehensible blithering> I met some people or some folks like that with the fey magic and <incomprehensible blithering>... Why would I have druid magic, and this is crazy, all right!? And this is... I don't like that you told this to me. Although thank you for the information and one more thing..."* Adam: *""Rosco has been like flailing around and he falls over the side of the butte, and falls down into the mouth of the..."* Eric: *"You like tumble down the face of it. Bump, bump, the bridge of the nose. It's in water, so you're not like taking damage. It's not like... it's like 'as-you-wishing' down the side of a hill."* Abby: *"As you wiiiiish!"* Adam: *"As you fiiiiish!"*
* Browse Rosco's catalogue of supergel colours! https://ca.rosco.com/en/products/catalog/supergel
* *"It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man"* from *Ghostbusters* (1984): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zhDfUAQSbs
* *"I have had it with these muthafuckin' snakes on this muthafuckin' plane!"* from Snakes on a Plane (2006): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pzz0eGQdyQ
* Cardi B on *The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon* describing *"Okurrr"*: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YplKPH\_qcRw
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: ultra juicy.

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*

## References

1. ↑ **SPOILER!** It was eventually revealed in episode 337: The First Time Batthwack EVER Got It that Batthwack chose to forget the memory of seeing the Locked Book's image of Gully's End burning (see episode 284: Tusk Me In the Dick).
2. ↑ See episode 272: Wiggle, Wiggle; Wiggle, Wiggle
3. ↑ See episode 276: Hand-Back-Wrench
4. ↑ Because Eric was secretly messaging each player with the effects on their memories, it's not completely clear what happens to Rosco as he passes through the "lose a random memory" door. It does seem though that Rosco actually *receives* a memory, rather than forgets something. This was the exchange between Eric and Adam: *"I'm gonna whisper something to you, Adam."* [...] Adam: "All right. Well... That happens right as Rosco goes through the door?" *Eric: "Yeah." Adam: "I mean, that can't be... I mean, is it safe to say that part of Rosco's discomfort and weirdness around himself is that things like this, maybe not with this intensity and clarity, have been happening to him for a while..." Eric: "Sure." Adam: "Qualitatively, this is not a new thing. Maybe." Eric: "I think the difference would be that in the past it's just kind of like..." Adam: "They're feelings..." Eric: "Flashes or almost like a deja vu-ey kind of thing." Adam: "Yeah." Eric: "This is like... it's not even like a flash, it's just this is now and has always been in..." Adam: "It's a fully formed memory." Eric: "Yes. Correct." Adam: "Which is weird. Well, he takes a moment to steady himself, because that's really weird."*
5. ↑ See episode 261: I Popped SO MANY Water Balloons!