"Zombie Pass-Rushers Are Coming for All Pocket Passers"

**"Zombie Pass-Rushers Are Coming for All Pocket Passers"** is the 99th episode of Gridiron Heights, and is the 3rd episode of Season 5.

## Plot Synopsis

In a "The Last of Us"-style pass-rusher apocalypse, the pocket-passer QBs of the NFL stay together in a camp. After their base is overrun, Matt Ryan sends Gardner Minshew on a mission to find the Disciples of Vick.

## Characters

Major Characters (have speaking roles, in order):

* Drew Brees
* Tom Brady
* Jared Goff
* Kirk Cousins
* Myles Garrett
* Dwayne Haskins
* Matt Ryan
* Gardner Minshew
* Sam Darnold
* Eltgon Jenkins
* Zack Martin
* Patrick Mahomes
* Lamar Jackson
* Kyler Murray

Minor Characters (in order):

* Joey Bosa
* Aaron Donald
* Khalil Mack
* TJ Watt
* Deforest Buckner
* Ben Roethlisberger
* Safety 49
* Jadeveon Clowney
* Josh Allen
* Cam Newton
* Russel Wilson

## Locations

(Locations that are specific to this episode. Reused areas have their own page.)

* The Pocket
* The Forest of the Disciples of Vick

## Transcript

(Zooms in on the outside of The Pocket camp. Cuts to Drew Brees telling a story to Tom Brady, Jared Goff, Kirk Cousins, Matt Ryan, Gardner Minshew, Dwayne Haskins, and Sam Darnold.)

Drew Brees: In the beforetimes, everyone stayed here, in The Pocket. Quarterbacks were slow, respected, and allowed to be wrong every now and then.

(Tom Brady strums a guitar, before dropping the guitar pick.)

Tom Brady: Dang, another pick.

Jared Goff: We've got more picks.

Kirk Cousins: We've got plenty!

(Cuts to Myles Garrett, Joey Bosa, Aaron Donald, and Khalil Mack acting like zombies, trying to break down The Pocket's walls.)

Myles Garrett: RRRAUGHHHHH... THE AVERAGE QB HAS 2.7 SECONDS IN THE POCKET RAUGHHHHH

(Cuts to Gardner Minshew, Sam Darnold, and Dwayne Haskins.)

Dwayne Haskins: Rushers! Run!

(Cuts to Matt Ryan, Kirk Cousins, and Jared Goff.)

Matt Ryan: Don't you get it? We can't.

(Cuts to all the pockets passers practicing their passes and murmuring playcalls. Cuts to Gardner Minshew and Sam Darnold watching Myles Garrett, Joey Bosa, and Aaron Donald run outside.)

Gardner Minshew: Sammy, you know I'm a cornfed passer, but you ever think there's a world outside this here Pocket?

Sam Darnold: If I think about my circumstances, I cry.

Gardner Minshew: Swamp Cat need to purr.

Sam Darnold (eyes go all white): Oh no, my ghost vision sixth sense! Warn the guards!

(Cuts to Eltgon Jenkins and Zack Martin guarding the gate to The Pocket.)

Eltgon Jenkins: You know, a real good show would be about us offensive lineman.

Zack Martin: Right, Eltgon Jenkins--

(Aaron Donald, Myles Garrett, Khalil Mack, Joey Bosa, and TJ Watt all storm past them without trouble.)

Zack Martin: So the problem is--

Zack Martin & Eltgon Jenkins: Nobody notices when we DON'T let people in.

(Cuts to chaos inside The Pocket. Aaron Donald runs in the background while Number 49 tackles Ben Roethlisberger. Kirk Cousins is then tackled by Deforest Buckner. Tom Brady, Gardner Minshew, and Matt Ryan are all behind a car, with Tom Brady writing in a journal while Minshew and Ryan throw footballs at the pass rushers.)

Tom Brady: Dear Mom and Dad, I'm not enjoying camp anymore! Pick me up!

(Zooms in on Minshew and Ryan, who have stopped attacking.)

Matt Ryan: I have a big lead, so I'm probably not going to make it. Find the Disciples of Vick!

Gardner Minshew (runs away): ALL RIGHT, BYE Y'ALL!

(Cuts to Gardner Minshew running through The Forest of the Disciples of Vick.)

Gardner Minshew: I'm sweating more than a linebacker at Sunday morning service! (nearly runs into Jadeveon Clowney.) Sweet Bojangles!

(Clowney is hit with a football. Patrick Mahomes comes running out of the trees.)

Patrick Mahomes: My leg arms are as good as my top arms!

(Lamar Jackson also runs out of trees.)

Lamar Jackson: The whole world is a pocket to me!

(Kyler Murray comes running out.)

Kyler Murray: Yo fam, what up?

Gardner Minshew: Thank you...running backs?

(Cuts to Lamar Jackson, Josh Allen, Patrick Mahomes, Kyler Murray, Cam Newton, and Russell Wilson.)

Lamar Jackson: Bruh, really?

((Outro))

Post-Scene:

(All of these lines are retakes of Gardner Minshew running through the Forest of the Disciples of Vick.)

Gardner Minshew: I'm more tired than butter on a city slicker's biscuit!

Gardner Minshew: Sheesh! I'm as tired as a hog workin' a double shift!

Gardner Minshew: I'm more tired than a coyote at a carnival!

Gardner Minshew: I'm more tired than a gator on a roller coaster!

Gardner Minshew: I'm more tired than a banjo on a bayou!

Gardner Minshew: I ran faster than one of them Gridiron Heights episodes!

## Trivia

- In the episode, there is shown an orange safety with the number 49. There are no safeties with the number 49 on a team with orange color (Broncos, Browns, Bengals, and Bears).