Ron the Rent-a-Cop

**Ron** is the strict, gruff, and generally unfriendly head of security at the Galleria Mall. He has a strong dislike for teenagers, as he believes (with some reason) that they cause chaos. He is voiced by Jamie Watson.

## Overview

Ron is the main mall rent-a-cop. He is the head of Mall Security, and harbors a deep dislike for teenagers. He first appears in "Take This Job and Squeeze It," where he signals to the teens that he is watching them. After this, he makes few major appearances in Season 1, but as the series progresses, he plays a larger role.

Ron is frequently cast as opposition to the teenagers. While to some extent this is justified, as the teenagers do frequently cause chaos in the mall (and Jonesy, Jude, and Wyatt try to prank him every year on Halloween), it is also made blatantly clear that Ron is overzealous in how seriously he takes his duties. This is most clear in "The New Guy," where he goes on a rampage of ticketing the teenagers for very mundane activities when he gets a competent assistant, but in "Cecil B. Delusioned" he demonstrated that he is willing to use excessive force on the elderly for minor infractions such as littering. In "Cecil B. Delusioned," he showed that he is not unwilling to use his position as head of security to garner benefits, as he extorted a free taco from Julie while on the job.

Despite often opposing the teens, Ron has occasionally acted to help them out. For example, in "The Wedding Destroyers," he worked as a mediator to create an agreement between the Masterson sisters and Garcia brothersso that their parents' wedding could go through. In addition, in "Labour Day - Part 2," he eventually helps Jen get to the hospital on time and cites that part of his reason is that he was impressed by Jen actually telling the truth. He also frequently hires teenagers as his assistants, as he did with Jonesy in "The Slow and the Even-Tempered" and with Kai in "The New Guy;" however, it is implied in "Another Day at the Office" that the reason he hires teenagers is because they're the only ones who even show up to the job interviews he gives.

Ron has an obsession with rules. It is suggested by him in "The New Jonesy" that he spends much of his free time making up new rules and codes for the mall, and he has apparently memorized the Mall Security Act. His obsession with rules is brought up many times, as he apparently has a security code for every possible violation, and is willing to violently subdue senior citizens for the meager crime of littering.

Although Ron has a stern external demeanor, he seems to be deeply unhappy and lonely. In "Welcome to the Darth Side," he gets an addiction to Jen's chocolate-covered jellybeans because they remind him of happier days when he was a child. Furthermore, in "The New Guy," after Ron loses his job he becomes a disheveled wreck, as he apparently only has a cat at home and had no life beyond his job at the mall.

Ron's unhappiness to some extent stems from his experiences with war, a subject with which he is obsessed and references many times. Although the specifics of his experience with war are hazy and vary from time to time, with various statements more ludicrous than others, it is evident that both Ron and his father were at one point in the armed forces and that both saw combat.

With Ron's father, it is stated in "How the Rent-A-Cop Stole Christmas" that he went off to war and never came back. Although no other details are given, Ron also states in "The New Guy" that his mother used to act out war movies with him while his father was away. Although Ron never goes into depth about what happened to his father, it is implied that his father died in the war; however, a videotape the guys find in "Life Slaver" throws this interpretation into question, as Ron is seen being dragged out of mall jail by a man who looks exactly like him and is presumably his father. Notably, in the video Ron appears to be older than the age he is implied to be in "How the Rent-A-Cop Stole Christmas," raising questions about his parentage and childhood.

Despite this, it is very likely that Ron saw military service that left him scarred for life. Frequently, he brings up instances of being in a war. While some of these are ludicrous, such as his claim in "The Swami" that he had to eat burning ladders while in a foxhole and his suggestion in "The New Jonesy" that he acquired a Zamboni injury while in the army, he also is suggested to have suffered various forms of torture. For example, in "Wrestlemania" he alludes to being captured by the Vietcong (although it is unknown why he would have been in Vietnam, as he is implied to be in his forties or fifties), and in "Mr. and Mr. Perfect" he suffers torture flashbacks while being taught how to play the guitar by Wyatt. Though no clear insight as to what he suffered, where he fought, how long he was in the armed forces or what he did is given, it is evident that Ron is suffering. It seems that he may occasionally use poetry to try and alleviate his pain, as he appears at the poetry reading in "Deadbeat Poets Society" with a poem about the horrors of jungle combat.

In addition to quite possibly suffering from Posttraumatic stress disorder, Ron is immensely lonely. In "The New Guy," it is stated that Ron lives alone with only his cat, and in "How the Rent-A-Cop Stole Christmas" Ron is seen with a framed picture on his desk–where the picture is the one that comes with the frame. Despite this, however, Ron appears to be taken with Yummy Mummy, and manages to woo her in "Mr. and Mr. Perfect." In "Out Of This World," it is confirmed that the two are a couple, as Ron lets the teens out of jail in exchange for tickets to a moviethat Stanley wanted to see.

Despite his demeanor, Ron often shows that he has a kind heart. In "All Pets Are Off," he is seen acting affectionate to Caitlin's ferret and wanting to keep it as a police dog. In addition, in "Labour Day - Part 2" he lets Jen go free despite breaking mall rules because of extenuating circumstances (that Jen was telling the truth about). Finally, in "Bye Bye Nikki? Part 2," he allows Jude out of mall jail when Jude gives him an emotional speech that leaves him in tears.

Although Ron frequently acts gruff and antagonistic, it is hinted at times that he does this in order to better keep peace in the mall and to ensure that people respect him and his edicts. Despite his demands for order and adherence to mall rules, he can be bargained with, and will treat those he sees as law-abiding with respect. Ron is overall very good at his job, and despite his hatred for teenagers generally does good work protecting the mall.

## Trivia

* Ron is shown to be on good terms with the Clones, as they let him use the Khaki Barn's private bathrooms (the former being the effect of the latter) in "Boo, Dude."
* Ron bears a striking resemblance to Christopher Walken and his voice is similar to that of Clint Eastwood.
* In "Life Slaver," the guys discover a cache of videos hidden in the ventilation shaft that connects the male and female washrooms. They depict Ron being a teenage rebel causing trouble for the previous mall cop.
	+ The only exception to the above is a video where he dances alone when the mall is closed.
		- The dance sequence he performed is a parody of the one seen in the video for Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice." The dance in question was performed by Christopher Walken.
		- During the dance, he actually flies, which astounds the observers. This means that Ron either has supernatural powers, or is a master of special effects to make the tape depict this.
* In "The New Guy," Ron mentions that he has a cat named Mr. Snuffles.
	+ In "All Pets Are Off," Ron also seems to have taken a liking to Caitlin's ferret, as he wants it to act as a security dog. However, it is unknown whether or not he knows it is a ferret.
* Ron is shown donating blood in "Waiting to Ex-Sale."
* He may be a fan of the band Led Zeppelin as he has stated that he loves the song "Stairway to Heaven."
* His voice is the last one heard in *6teen*.
* Ron has been shown to be surprisingly good with babies, as he took very good care of Jen and Jonesy's baby half-sister Emma Jr. in "6 Teens and A Baby."