No, That's My Candy!

**No, That's My Candy!** is the third episode of The Super Wario Bros. Wah-wah Show!

## About

The Wario Bros. steal some candy, but a certain enemy decides to fight them for the candy...

## Cast

### **X-Men**

* Wario
* Waluigi
* Bowser

### **Koopa Mafia**

* Dry Bones
* Some tiny moron that nobody cares about
* Goomba

### **McDonald's Team**

* Ronald McDonald
* Malleo
* Oiram

### **The Koopa Kids**

* Bowser Jr.
* Iggy Koopa
* Lemmy Koopa
* Ludwig von Koopa
* Wendy Koopa
* Morton Koopa
* Larry Koopa
* Roy Koopa

## Script

### **Scene 1: This is a Robbery!**

**WARIO** and **WALUIGI** walk into a candy store dressed in robber outfits, and the cashier just so happens to be **MR. JENKINS**.

> **MR. JENKINS:** Hello-oh.. Oh, shit.
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**WARIO** points his gun at **MR. JENKINS**.

> **WARIO:** This is a robbery! You will give me ALL of the candy or you DIE!
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> **MR. JENKINS:** Can't you god damn whippersnappers rob a bank or somethin', at least?!
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> **WARIO:** *Shut up!* **WALUIGI**, hold the gun. Make sure that he gives you all the candy. I'll search in the back for more.
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**WARIO** gives **WALUIGI** the gun.

> **WARIO:** You better not be trying anything funny!
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**WARIO** says that as he is about to walk past **MR. JENKINS** to the back room. He found lots more candy, but most of it is expired. He takes it all anyway. **WARIO** comes back to **WALUIGI**.

**.........WALUIGI:** You got the candy?

**.........WARIO:** Yes. Let's-a head off!

**WARIO** and **WALUIGI** leave the candy store with just about all of the candy taken, even the expired bits.

### **Scene 2: Stolen**

**WARIO** and **WALUIGI** runs to a nearby nondescript alley to avoid any police attention. They decide to gorge themselves on candy. However, as they were about to chow down, the candy seemed to have all mysteriously disappeared.

> **WARIO:** What the-... *Where did it all go?!*
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> **WALUIGI:** What the hell?! That's... That's impossible!!
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> **WARIO:** You must be hiding it from me, you greedy rat!
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> **WALUIGI:** There's no way I would be able to do it that fast, and we all know *you're* the greedy rat around he-
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**WARIO** shoots **WALUIGI**. Just like with the last two times, **WALUIGI** was actually shot by paralyzing bullets. He searched around **WALUIGI**, even in his pockets, but he didn't find the candy. This perplexed him so, but then he sees a **GOOMBA** with speed shoes eating his candy. He walks towards the **GOOMBA**.

> **WARIO:** Well, well, well! If it isn't one of the Koopa Mafia's many underlings!
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> **GOOMBA:** What do you want, **WARIO**? I'm trying to enjoy my candy.
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> **WARIO:** You mean the candy that *you* stole? And don't try to deny it! I see your speed shoes, so I know how you were able to take it!
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> **GOOMBA:** I don't know how to control my speed, though.
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> **WARIO:** Such typical lies. I'll be taking back my candy now!
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Before the **GOOMBA** could run away with his speed shoes, **WARIO** sat on him, killing him. **DRY BONES** suddenly takes the candy away and runs to McDonald's. **WARIO** sees this and chases after him.

### **Scene 3: Micky D's**

**WARIO** is greeted by **RONALD MCDONALD** when he enters.

> **RONALD MCDONALD:** Welcome to McDonald's! Would you like a fucking beesechurger?
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**WARIO** sees **DRY BONES** talking to the cashier, who happens to be **MALLEO**.

> **WARIO:** Well, you see, that **DRY BONES** over there stole my candy, and I want it back!
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> **MALLEO:** Oh, you're not getting it back anytime soon, unless you tell me where **HOMER** **SIMPSON** is at.
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> **WARIO:** He's at my house. You can beat him up. I don't care.
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> **MALLEO:** Oh, I'll do *more* than beat him up...
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> **WARIO:** ..Uh, woah, man, I don't want you to *kill* him..
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> **RONALD MCDONALD**: I said, would you like a fucking beesechurger?
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**WARIO** shoots **RONALD MCDONALD**. His fate ended up being like **WALUIGI**'s. He swears revenge on the X-Men.

> **MALLEO:** You killed my boss!! **YOU, AND ALL THE OTHER X-MEN, WILL PAY!**
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> **DRY BONES:** Idiot! You angered **MALLEO**!
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**WARIO** quickly takes the candy and escapes McDonald's. **DRY BONES** tries to follow him, but then he gets hit by a truck. Then, a McDonald's worker who is running late saws him.

> **OIRAM:** Oh, cool, roadkill! He'll certainly forgive me for being late once I present the solution to our low beef supply...
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**OIRAM** carries the remains to the McDonald's. He saw **RONALD MCDONALD** lying there, and **MALLEO**, who just calmed down after figuring out something.

> **MALLEO:** ..Uh, don't worry, I found out that he just got paralyzed.
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> **OIRAM:** Well, I got roadkill. This'll help us in the long run!
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> **DRY BONES:** *Put me down this instant! I am NOT dead!*
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### **Scene 4: Just when you think it's over...**

Meanwhile, **WARIO** is in his house. He prepares to chow down on candy in his room, when he suddenly saw **SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT**.

> **WARIO:** What the fuck?! YOU?! How did you get here?!
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> **SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT:** I followed you here. I was sent in just in case **DRY BONES** didn't succeed.
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They both pull out their guns. They both pull the trigger. **SOME TINY MORON THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT** gets blasted out of the house, creating another hole in the ceiling, and **WARIO** gets a bullet wound.

> **WARIO:** Ow!! Damn it...! I just hope this candy can heal wounds...
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The hyper **IGGY KOOPA** breaks into **WARIO**'s house from **WARIO**'s window, takes the candy, and leaves through the window. He runs very fast to **BOWSER**'s castle.

> **IGGY KOOPA**: Heheheha!!! Can'tsa wait to share dis with mah friendos!! >:D
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> **WARIO:** No... *No!!!*
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**WARIO** walks and screams out the broken window.

> **WARIO:** ***NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S MY CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!***
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**WARIO** falls down the broken window. **BOWSER** opens the front door to see him.

> **BOWSER**: Jesus, what happened here?
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> **WARIO:** That's...my candy...
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> **BOWSER:** ..Wait, is that a bullet wound?
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**BOWSER** picks up **WARIO** and brings him inside, presumably to help treat the wound.

### **Scene 5: Bringing the Loot [Post-Credits]**

At **BOWSER**'s castle, **IGGY KOOPA** is presenting his stash to the rest of the Koopa Kids.

> **IGGY KOOPA:** Looks what I got!! *Candy!*
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> **BOWSER JR.**: Wow! Cool! Where'd you get it?
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> **IGGY KOOPA:** You knowz what I do best already.
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> **LEMMY KOOPA:** Better be ball candy or else!
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As the Koopa Kids get their share, **LUDWIG** notices that something is amiss.

> **LUDWIG VON KOOPA:** Wait! ..Something is awfully suspicious about some of these candy pieces.
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> **WENDY KOOPA:** Ugh, here we go...
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> **IGGY KOOPA:** What couldz be so wrong 'bout candy?!
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> **LUDWIG VON KOOPA:** Nothing's wrong until it's expired. You trying to get us sick, **IGGY**?
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> **IGGY KOOPA:** ..Well, it'z candy, nonetheless! Don't worry 'bout it!
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> **LUDWIG VON KOOPA:** I mean, look at this! The expiration dates go all the way to *1943*! You guys realize how old that is, right?
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> **WENDY KOOPA:** *Ew!!* I'm, like, totally tellin' on you for this, **IGGY**!
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> **IGGY KOOPA:** *It'z not MY fault!* I stole it from some fat yellow guy! How waz I 'posed to know??
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> **LARRY KOOPA:** Wait, Wario? Isn't our dad part of the X-Men?
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> **LUDWIG VON KOOPA:** Yes, he is.
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> **WENDY KOOPA:** Hahaha, even worse!
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> **IGGY KOOPA:** *Zcrew you, guys!!* I'll be at my twin brother's house!
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**IGGY** breaks out of a window to go to **INSANE GUY**'s house, taking the candy with him.

> **MORTON KOOPA:** Homosexuals are gay.
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**MORTON** lets out a big fart as the screen fades to black.

## Trivia

* The Koopa Kids practically live off on candy, with Bowser Jr. as the exception (along with Insane Guy).
* It is later confirmed that some of the candy pieces could indeed heal wounds.
* When McDonald's runs out of something, any alternative is good as long as it gets the job done, and Ronald McDonald makes sure of it.