recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
United States of America

Language
 Government
 Leader
 Area
 Population
 GDP
 GDP per Capita
 Currency

**<<Under Construction>>**

Aircraft Carriers:

* USS Independence - 1959
* USS Kitty Hawk - 1961
* USS Enterprise - 1961
* USS John F. Kennedy - 1968 \*Currently on hold to be a museum
* USS Nimitz - 1975 \*Available after 2020

Amphibious Assault Ships:

* USS Tripoli - 1966
* USS Tarawa - 1976
* USS Nassau -1979
* USS Peleliu - 1980
* USS Blue Ridge - 1970
* USS Mount Whitney - 1971

Cruisers:

* USS Ticonderoga - 1983
* USS Yorktown - 1984

Destroyers:

* USS Paul F. Foster - 1976
* USS John Paul Jones - 1993 \*Short-term lease only
* USS Curtis Wilbur - 1994 \*Short-term lease only

Littoral:

* 5 Oliver Hazard Perry Class

Submarines:

* 25 Los Angeles Class - Very limited availability

### **2016**

[News Gang Violence Erupts In Streets Of Chicago, Governor Declares State Of Emergency]

[News Trump And Sanders To Win In New York]

[Diplomacy President Obama Plans Weekend Excursion With Family In Peru]

[News Change.org Petition Flies Past 100,000 Asking Obama To Help End Slavery And Trafficking In Africa]

[Secret Roleplay President Obama Makes Shady Deals In Peru]

[Diplomacy Secretary Of State Kerry Sent To Meet With Mauritania Officials]

[News Trump & Hillary Secure Necessary Delegates To Receive Parties' Nominations]

[News Hillary Clinton Arrested!]

[News RNC Chair, Reince Priebus, Suggests Delegates That Vote Trump Won't Be Welcome Back]

[Event The Republican National Convention]

[News Cruz Steals Republican Nomination Out From Under Trump On Second Vote]

[Event The Democratic National Convention]

[News Hillary Wins The Democratic Nomination]

[Roleplay Shillshank Redemption]

[Event Presidential Debate]

[News Trump Campaign Drops Heidi Cruz Sex Tape Bombshell]

[Event United States 2016 Presidential Election]

### **2017**

[News Chicago Mayor Attributes President's Policies In Marked Improvement In Fight Against Crime]

[News President Gary Johnson Sworn In, Trump Accepts Position As Secretary Of Defense]

[News Trump Orders Reserve Fleets Refitted For Service Abroad]

[News US President Orders Restructure Of DEA, Massively Cuts Funding]

[News Trump To Accelerate Sale Of Reserve Military Aircraft]

### **2018**

[Event Gary Johnson Blames State Of America On Previous Generations, Paul Ryan Promises Changes To Social Security]

[Diplomacy Paul Ryan Meets With Israeli Premier, Promises Continued Congressional Support For Israel]

[News President Johnson Says Remaining Ground And Special Ops Forces To Leave Iraq, Afghanistan, Air Power To Remain If Desired]

[News Gary Johnson To Make Major Cuts To NASA, ISS And Mars Funding To Remain]

[News Gary Johnson Closes Guantanamo Prison]

### **2019**

[News Jacksonville Jaguars Shock Football World, Win Superbowl]

[Event President Johnson Proposed New Healthcare System, FreedomCare]

[Event In Effort To Solve Puerto Rican Debt Crisis, Washington Demands Statehood Vote In Puerto Rico]

[News Donald Trump Condemns Mass Russian Troop Movements In Ukraine]
Iceland

Capital
 Language
 Government
 Leader
 Area
 Population
 GDP
 GDP per Capita
 Currency

In July 2026 Iceland has opened itself up to the world once again after 6+ years of isolation.

In December 2019 Iceland has entered a period of indeterminate isolation, there is a media blackout of the event.

CIA World Factbook

The Republic of Iceland boasts the highest energy generation per capita, *by a lot*, also all but 1% of that is renewable (energy breakdown 1, 2). Plus, due to its isolation, it is probably ideal to survive a zombie Apocalypse in. Iceland is also considered the most peaceful nation in the world so take that Switzerland. Research is at 3% of GDP set to reach 4% GDP by 2020 (PDF). Iceland is working on construction of the Bjork School of Advance Biology in order to enhance its research. Mostly stable and growing birth rate.

Iceland has decriminalized drug use and is selling some drugs in a state run stores that are estimated to bring in an extra $130 million USD annually, other governments are now open to buy the drugs as well. Iceland has also recently passed legislation defending Internet privacy and data hoster. Iceland has recently de-listed the Church of Iceland as its official religion.

Iceland has partnered with Serbia to significantly increase geothermal power generation by 1000MWe. And is hardedneing its electrical power generation to prevent solar flair damage and EMP attack. Iceland now also hold a controlling 51% of Solozyme a biofuel company.

Iceland haveing seen the evergrowin threat of the world and international terrorism to itself has deceided to work on an antibioterror reseach facility in order to prevent what they see as the greatest threat to its soverenty.

Iceland is a member of

* UN
* Nordic Council
* NATO
* EEA
* OECD

Military Assets (sovereign)

* Coast Gaurd
	+ 3 x Patrol vessels
		- Flagship  ICGV *Þór*
	+ 2 x Patrol/survey boat
	+ 1 x Bombardier Dash 8
	+ 3 x Eurocopter AS332 Super Puma
	+ 230 x Officers and men
	+ Iceland Air Defense System
* Budget
	+ $45,529,700 USD
* Iceland Crisis Response Unit
	+ 200 x Men
	+ Light armored vehicles
	+ Not a true military unit like JSDF

Military Assents (NATO)

* Boeing E-3 Sentry
* (6?) F-15C (USA)

Education

* 99% literacy
* Budget
	+ $231 Million USD, 7.4% GDP
Commonwealth of Independent States

The **Commonwealth of Independent States** (**CIS**; Russian: Содружество Независимых Государств, СНГ, tr. *Sodruzhestvo Nezavisimykh Gosudarstv, SNG*; also called the **Russian Commonwealth**)[3] is a regional organisation formed during the breakup of the Soviet Union, whose participating countries are some former Soviet Republics.

The CIS is a loose association of states. Although the CIS has few supranational powers, it is aimed at being more than a purely symbolic organisation, nominally possessing coordinating powers in the realm of trade, finance, lawmaking, and security. It has also promoted cooperation on cross-border crime prevention. Furthermore, eight of the nine CIS member states participate in the CIS Free Trade Area, and five of these form theEurasian Economic Union, a customs union and single market of over 180 million people. In addition, six member states participate in a mutual defence alliance: the Collective Security Treaty Organization.

## **Military structures**

The CIS Charter establishes the Council of Ministers of Defense, which is vested with the task of coordinating military cooperation of the CIS member states. To this end, the Council develops conceptual approaches to the questions of military and defense policy of the CIS member states; develops proposals aimed to prevent armed conflicts on the territory of the member states or with their participation; gives expert opinions on draft treaties and agreements related to the questions of defense and military developments; issues related suggestions and proposals to the attention of the CIS Council of the Heads of State. Also important is the Council's work on approximation of the legal acts in the area of defense and military development.

An important manifestation of integration processes in the area of military and defense collaboration of the CIS member states is the creation, in 1995, of the joint CIS Air Defense System. Over the years, the military personnel of the joint CIS Air Defense Systemgrew twofold along the western, European border of the CIS, and by 1.5 times on its southern borders.[34]

When Boris Yeltsin became Russian Defence Minister on 7 May 1992, Yevgeny Shaposhnikov, the man appointed as Commander-in-Chief of the CIS Armed Forces, and his staff, were ejected from the MOD and General Staff buildings and given offices in the formerWarsaw Pact Headquarters at 41 Leningradsky Prospekt[35] on the northern outskirts of Moscow.[36] Shaposhnikov resigned in June 1993.

In December 1993, the CIS Armed Forces Headquarters was abolished.[37] Instead, 'the CIS Council of Defence Ministers created a CIS Military Cooperation Coordination Headquarters (MCCH) in Moscow, with 50 per cent of the funding provided by Russia.'[38]General Viktor Samsonov was appointed as Chief of Staff. The headquarters has now moved to 101000, Москва, Сверчков переулок, 3/2, and 41 Leningradsky Prospekt has now been taken over by another Russian MOD agency.

The chiefs of the CIS general staffs have spoken in favor of integrating their national armed forces.

## **Members:**

**Associates:**

 Turkmenistan

**Former member states:**
ANZAC

The **Australian and New Zealand Army Corps** (**ANZAC**) was a First World War army corps of the Mediterranean Expeditionary Force. It was formed in Egypt in 1915, and operated during the Battle of Gallipoli. General William Birdwoodcommanded the corps, which comprised troops from the First Australian Imperial Force and 1st New Zealand Expeditionary Force. This is a continued militry alliance between Australia and New Zealand.
UNSC

The UNSC is the United Nations Security Council. The UNSC has 5 permanent members: China, France, Russia, the United Kingdom and the United States of America. The real UNSC has 10 temporary members, that are voted in by the rest of the UN - serving a 2 year term. Since the game here goes a bit quicker than real life and we likely won't have all 193 countries participating, the UNSC will be adjusted as such. We will elect temporary members every 5 years, with the minimum amount being voted in as 3, and the maximum being 10. The amount will be adjusted depending on how many countries are participating in the game at the time.

## Current Temporary Members:

* Angola
* Egypt
* Japan
* Malaysia
* New Zealand
* Senegal
* Spain
* Ukraine
* Uruguay
* Venezuela
HALLOWEEN

**HALLOWEEN**, also called **A JAR HALOWEEN**, is a 2015 short film directed by Alex that stars the JAR boys. Despite being Halloween-themed, the film was released in December of 2015.

## Plot

In a creepy forest, **Sint** (Jim) and **Skrell** (James) are trick-or-treaters who go up to the mansion of **Vortch** (Ruben) asking for treats. Vortch declines, leading Sint to tell him that they must trick him. Before they can, a witch is heard cackling, flying on her room, and everyone retreats into the mansion. Giant spiders invade the mansion, which trample and presumably kill Vortch; meanwhile, Sint and Skrell escape the forest through surfing.
Switzerland

Capital
 Language
 Government
 Leader
 Area
 Population
 GDP
 GDP per Capita
 Currency

## 2016

#### March / April

* Panama shares news about its expanding Canal. The Swiss take this as a cry for additional funding, but respond negatively.1
* Liechtenstein has a civil outcry against the monarchy. The Swiss Government has the FIB monitor the situation.1
* North Korea threatens to act out. Switzerland responds.123
* Afghanistan decriminalizes heroin export. Switzerland responds.1
* Sealand rents out servers. Three companies in Switzerland show interest.12
* Swiss Chocolate Companies set up a new union, and introduce two types of certificates to increase the quality of chocolate in general.¶
* Rolex recalls 250 watches due to manufacturing fault.¶
* India Petitions World for Assistance with Doctors, the Swiss Government says its very willing to initiate a program to assist India.1
* Afghanistan criminalizes heroin export again, but now seeks to export opiates for medical purposes. Switzerland responds, and several hospitals in the country are looking to purchase produce in the future.1

#### May/June

* Sealand begins growing hemp for cannabis production. This produce, if owned, used, or sold within Switzerland, is expected to incur heavy fines.12
* North Korea broadcasts anti-capitalism propaganda. This has a Swiss living in that country, send a letter to the Swiss Government.1
* Swiss Chocolate Companies begin planning for Chocolympics - 2017. They ask a grant from the Swiss Government. Belgium promises funds too.¶
* In the EU summit on the migrant situation, Switzerland repeats they will not deviate from their current path.1
* Romania attempts to attract GMO scientists, 12 Swiss Researchers are extremely interested. Their main focus lies in Cocoa Beans, but they are willing to work on other projects too.1
* Myanmar citizens disregard wealth as a main source of happiness. Red Cross Employees fly to Burma to validate or refute this claim.1
FIFA

The **Fédération Internationale de Football Association** is the governing body of association football, futsal and beach football. FIFA is responsible for the organisation of football's major international tournaments, notably the World Cup which commenced in 1930 and the Women's World Cupwhich commenced in 1991.

FIFA was founded in 1904 to oversee international competition among the national associations of Belgium, Denmark, France, Germany, the Netherlands, Spain, Sweden and Switzerland. Headquartered in Zürich, its membership now comprises209 national associations. Member countries must each also be members of one of the six regional confederations into which the world is divided: Africa, Asia, Europe, North & Central America and the Caribbean, Oceania and South America.
Holo

**Holo** was James' sister, body pillow and waifu. She was the closest thing to a female that has ever been on the cast. She has cucked James many times. She joined JAR in episode 60, when JAR Media was sponsored by animedakimakurapillow.com. Since then, she had occasionally appeared on the cast. She was beaten to death by Jamie after she betrayed him in episode 92. She is from the anime Spice and Wolf. In some episodes she replaced James if he was unable to be at the JARCAST. The other JAR members see her as indistinguishable from James.

## Coverage

Holo first appeared in episode 60. According to Ruben, James and Holo met and first cucked together when James' parents hired Holo to help with his homework due to James being fucking dumb. She "was a sultry young maiden who prays on little boys, like James". They did spooning and sat on each other's laps. They have cucked together ever since.

In episode 63, Ruben fucked her. In the later episode Rueben announced plans to get rid of her, but this never happened. In fact, in the next episode she appears in, episode 70, she has a twin sister. However, Alex took her to the dump in episode 149 because he was apparently growing mold.
African Union

The **African Union** (**AU**) is a continental union consisting of 54 countries in Africa. The only African state that is not a member is Morocco, due to the status of the Western Sahara, although Burkina Faso and the Central African Republic have had their memberships suspended due to the recent coup d'état and ongoing civil war, respectively. The AU was established on 26 May 2001 in Addis Ababa and launched on 9 July 2002 in South Africa, with the aim of replacing the Organisation of African Unity(OAU). The most important decisions of the AU are made by the Assembly of the African Union, a semi-annual meeting of the heads of state and government of its member states.
I Hate Everything

The profile picture of the channel

Still alive, fool

I Hate Everything, or IHE for short, is by far the most successful channel in the JCU (JAR Cinematic Universe). The channel was intially created as a troll by Alex in 2013, the original motivation for creating it being frustration with the complete lack of success he had been getting on youtube with his previous ventures (RNL Media & manmanboyboyman). The channel is most known for the "I HATE" series, wherein Alex would talk about a topic which he dislikes. Other series on the channel include the movie review series "The Search for the Worst" and formerly "Comment Comeback", in which Alex would respond to his youtube comments.

### Origins of the channel & Early content

IHE is a spiritual successor to an earlier, unknown channel of Alex, frustrated by his lack of success and motivated by his propensity for trolling. The early output of the channel was purposefully inflammatory and extremely poor quality, to the point that Alex has long since erased the channel from existence.

He did however note that this awful crap troll channel was getting more views than the content he actually cared about, and eventually created IHE, which would be like the troll channel except with effort behind it, although the trollish elements were not gone entirely, for instance utilizing ALL CAPS IN VIDEO TITLES along with hyperbole and clickbait (The content of the videos themselves tended to be much more mellow than the titles would imply). Early videos of the channel, such as "I HATE YOUTUBE", and "I HATE PEWDIEPIE" (Later changed to "I hate Pewdiepie's rabid fans", because Pewdiepie fans wouldn't leave Alex alone) best exemplify this sort of content.

### The Search for the Worst & Trying to Watch

"The Search for the Worst" & "Trying to Watch" are two related movie-related series on the channel. The former is a movie review series wherein Alex would watch a movie on IMDB's bottom 100 lowest rated movies (Ostensibly, the "worst films of all time"), and reviews it. Trying to Watch, meanwhile, is a reaction video series containing highlights of Alex watching the films for the first time, sometimes with Ruben or Jim.

### Derek Savage Controversy

IHE would face his first extended and serious spat of drama in 2015 when a Search for the Worst video he had made on the children's edutainment movie "Cool Cat Saves the Kids" was copyright struck by the director of the movie, one Derek Savage. The movie was already infamous in film review circles due to being reviewed by the channel YourmoviesucksDOTorg (YMS), and was only reviewed by Alex because YMS sicced his fans on a strawpoll to rig it. Derek and Alex would have a bitter feud, with Derek threatening to sue Alex on the basis of a woeful misunderstanding of copyright law, calling him a "Lying Punk Troll", and potentially impersonating a law firm to try and scare Alex into deleting other videos in the TSFTW series. The drama would fizzle out because the strike did not have legitimate cause, and Derek has since faded into relative obscurity.
Pawny

**Pawny** is a CGI character and dibby in the movie Men In Black: International. The CGI critter is voice acted by the comedian and actor Kumail Nanjiani, who has more recently become one of the saga of the Eternals, a race of immortal beings who lived on Earth and shaped it's history and civilizations. The character's dibbyish nature and presence in an awful nostalgiabait film caused him to become a JAR meme in mid to late 2019. Episodes 168, "Men in Blacks: Pawny" and 177, "Pawny Ain't Gone YET", of the yogspog have names that refer directly to him.
Duck Pillow Gaming

The head of the now-decapitated Duck Pillow Gaming in August of 2021.

**Duck Pillow Gaming** was a proposed ironic YouTube channel created by Alex and Jamie. It would feature a pillow with a cartoon duck sewn onto it which Jamie's uncle got him for his birthday as a joke. The pillow would (presumably) play games in a YouTube-like voice. The goal of the channel was to create the worst YouTube channel while making it seem earnest, and also attempting to gain as much traction as possible. Jamie took inspiration from TheLonelyGoomba, while Alex took inspiration from another Call of Duty YouTuber who spoke in a duck-like voice, "called people a pussy", and did a laugh similar to Daffy Duck. The first known mention of Duck Pillow Gaming was by James in episode 178.

The concept of Duck Pillow Gaming was never really taken seriously and was rather used as an inside joke rather than a legitimate idea of a channel. The boys jokingly stated that in a worst-case YouTube scenario, they could've started Duck Pillow Gaming.

## Death and legacy

The idea was scrapped entirely after Max ripped the head off the duck pillow during or before July 2020. Alex presumably found it and placed it on the current Jarcast setup. It currently sits on a coathanger, tucked in at the far-right of the wall. It now can be seen in every Jarcast since the current setup changed in episode 225.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 https://youtu.be/bGfdJWLJaUI?t=1255
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 https://youtu.be/vh66yF2EpxI?t=3148
3. ↑ https://youtu.be/oduvfjuZ888?t=530
4. ↑ https://youtu.be/5jUT5tUBB7w?t=1181
Super Bikkuriman: Densetsu no Sekiban

**Super Bikkuriman: Densetsu no Sekiban** (スーパービックリマン 伝説の石版, "Super Bikkuriman: The Legendary Lithograph") is a *Super Bikkuriman* game released for Game Boy in 1992. It has five stages.

## Story

Phoenix and Tiki were fighting and searching for the lithograph in order to defeat the advancing Akuma forces, who planned to make the world theirs.

However, a new enemy was trying to get hold of the lithograph, forcing Phoenix and Tiki to face the new threat. During the battle, Phoenix and Tiki are sent to the ancient times of Tenchikyuu and the lithograph from that time is shattered. If it isn't repaired, the future will change and the world will fall into ruin. After restoring the lithograph, they return to their time and defeat the new enemy and Black Phoenix (ブラックフェニックス).

## Charakobatti

**Charakobatti** (キャラコバッチ *Kyarakobatchi*, "Character Koma Batti", written as **Chara Cobatti** in-game) is a minigame based on Bandai's Charakobatti toys. Two player use metal tops to battle. The first top to stop spinning loses.
Goatse Dimension

"...For when you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."- Nietzsche

The Goatse Dimension is a remote and mysterious location, beyond time and space. Little is known about this strange place, as not many people are brave enough to venture there.

How to get to the Goatse Dimension:

Unlike other strange universes/dimensions in fiction, a grimoire or sacrifice of some kind is not necessary to enter the Goatse Dimension. Rather, the individual simply has to bend over and pull their asscheeks apart, until their asshole is wide enough to create a rip in the space-time continuum. The person will then be sucked into their own rectum and implode, similar to the house in the film *Poltergeist.* This process has not been explored or documented enough for science to have definite answers to some questions, which have been listed here, in layman's terms:

* If a person has someone else goatse them, do both people get sucked in?
* Can a person enter the goatse universe if they have diarrhea?
* If a person goatses themselves inside the goatse universe, what happens?

Further research on the Goatse Dimension will be conducted by the JAR media team/ goof troop/ cholos crew/ Jessica Jones fanclub in the coming weeks. Until then, we can only speculate.
Pork Scratching

Pork Scatchings is an ancient meme dating back to the later 1600s. No one knows where it came from aside from there being a vague connection with the man known as the Meme Analyser.

It invaded JAR March-May of 2017. It could not be stopped. Everywhere you looked there were pork scratchings. They took over the JAR comments section and caused damage that could never quite be repaired.

Also somoene fed them to Argyle once at a pub, so there's that.
Pig Stool

The **Pig Stool** is a mysterious object found in the background of various Jarcasts. It is a wooden stool with a cartoon pig printed onto the seat. Its origins are unknown.

A picture of the stool became the JAR Media YouTube channel banner in 2021.

When a jarling acknowledged the Pig Stool in episode 146, Jamie simply responded with, "Oh, fuck you." Ruben replied with, "What do you mean, pig shit? There ain't no pig shit in here."
The Master Chief

Full Disclaimer: Nothing in this article is guaranteed to be true.

**The Master Chief**, (A.K.A. John 117) is the unanimously decided the best video game mascot from the entirety of JAR, only second to Mario (of Super Mario fame). He is the main character for all mainline Halo games aside from Halo 5: Guardians, because it is shit.

### **Verdict**

In its 14 years, Halo has never felt so good to play. An updated arsenal and great new mobility mechanics give both campaign and multiplayer and modern touch without sacrificing Halo’s classic feel. It fails to introduce its new Spartan characters in a meaningful way, and the story does make some odd logical leaps, but it’s still fast, beautiful, and fun – especially with four-player co-op. Guardians’ multiplayer harkens back to the Halo 2 glory days with tons of balanced maps and fun modes, and the tactical new Warzone mode absolutely steals the show.

9/10 - Brian Albert, IGN
Dick the Head

A creepy stone face that even Alex was too embarrassed to buy. Originally a small bald, beige head called Thomas that runs his own facebook page. Dick has existed in his disembodied form for 4 years currently.

### Aliases

Botox Injected Face of Thomas the Tank Engine

## Physical description

### Eye color

Stone

Dick planned to take over the podcast in episode 25 alongside his loving husband Schweppe but their plan failed because the other JAR members would not give them a mic (RIP).

Dick and lookalikes/similar heads were made by a retailer by the name of "Puckator", but the company has since ceased their production (one can imagine they were not especially popular) and they are long since sold out of all known online retailers. They are therefore considered extremely rare and valuable collector's items for JARlings : If you, dear reader, spot a dick the head or something resembling him in a yard sale, either buy it or forever hold your peace because you will likely never find one again.
Angry Joe

Angry Joe, real name Joe Vargas, is an american youtuber most famous for his "Angry Reviews" where he reviews games. While angry. Joe is notable to JAR for featuring in the thumbnails and/or titles of many JARcasts, most notably the Angry Joe Beans trilogy, casts #143-#145: "Angry Joe Appreciation Epicly Angry Rant", "Angry Joe Loves Beans (Proof)", and "I Guess Angry Joe Actually Hates Beans?". Angry Joe, in fact, does hate Beans, proving that he is, in essence, the Anti-James. He is also the subject of an "As \_ as they say?", namely "Is Angry Joe as GOOD as they say?"
Out of context Alex quotes

* "Here son, this is what a hard cock looks like."
* "I would portal gun the wall and have sex with my own ass."
* "There was a man. A wo-man."
* "PLEEEEEEASE.."
* "I hate this episode"
* "My dad died on his first and last period."
* "It's kind of a hard life having a horse-cock."
* "YODA! Maybe Yoda has the golden pussy!"
* "We're gonna need James to goatse for the thumbnail."
* "*Always know where you are...*"
* "Mummy, what's a soaking wet pussy?"
* "It's not funny, it's a fucking tragedy!"
* "We don't think about it. We're just like 'ooh, they're the fuck masters, care to suck?"
* "Three onisions watch a blonde fuck a dog."
* "She gets out a squid and just puts it in her pussy."
* "I am incredibly sexist."
* "Could you imagine Rashad just standing over you, and slipping his finger into your asshole?"
* "But it shoots me in the dick though. So I have to live with it."
* "I wish I had three twins. But one was a mutant. Called like, Randy."

* **Alex:** The dried up worm I found on my carpet this morning.

**Ruben:** That's not a game.

**Alex:** Felt like a game when i was eating it.

* "What if your willy's a bit big?"
* "Sixty thousand pussy lickers united."
* "I dream about mostly period blood."

* "Pinch me on the cock, scorpy."
* "No, not in your asshole, I'm not gay. With my own brother."
* "Boy, this thing REALLY laughs!"
* "What if someone didn't jerk off for like forty years?"
* "It doesn't matter what they think 'cause they're just walking fuckholes."
* "Bitches can be snitches, but this woman is just a cunt"
* "I'm more pussy-yogs-cast than man."
* "We talk about very pressing matters such as pussy and diarrhea."
* "Keep creampiein' get that paycheck."
* "Yeah, I hit my dog."
Coop

**Coop** is one of the newest members of the Goatsie Cast. She was an abandoned cat found in a tunnel next to a scummy co-op. Many of the Jarlings are hoping that she will develop a romance subplot with Shithead Larry, while others feel she would be better off with the Fat Detective From Batman Begins. You can read more about Coop here.
Journal Entry-January 7th 1932

## Content of the Entry

*“**Journal Entry - 1/71932.** To say that Lucian came form a troubled home would be a tremendous understatement. When Lucian was still very young, his father turned his back on the family. From them on, Lucian’s mother could not stand to look at her son, who reminded her so much of his father. Lucian’s grandfather alone watched over the boy, but he was a drunk. And yet Lucian, somehow, came out of the mess entirely optimistic, always looking ahead. I’ve always admired his tenacity.”* Wonder if these are the same people in the statues…

## Location

On Floor 3 in the Mechanical Workshop, the entry will be over a ton of books next to a couch and a mannequin.

## Trivia

.Also if the player completes the Statue Busts Puzzle and it doesn't collect the Journal Entry, the entry will disappear.

.Inside this room, the Statue Busts Puzzle can be found.

 See Also

.Keys

.Bosses

.Characters

.Puzzles
Fat Detective From Batman Begins

### Relatives

Fat Detective From Batman Begins (Father), Fat Detective From Batman Begins (Mother), Fat Detective From Batman Begins (Sister)

## Physical description

### Eye color

Ampersand

**Fat Detective From Batman Begins** is JAR's pet Fat Detective From Batman Begins. He is an incredibly popular member among the JAR extended cast, largely due to the rarity of his species (as most are owned by Fat Detective From Batman Begins Wars). He quite likes Falafel.
Spiked Mace

## Spiked Mace (Morning Star)

*A long, spiked mace. Pretty intense. Man, I'm glad Crowes left all these weapons around…*

—Journal Description

Also can be named "Morning Star" **The Spiked Mace** is a weapon from Chapter 3 in Til Morning's Light.

It is the tenth pickable weapon in the game. Both the Spiked Mace and the Sledgehammer deal with the same Damage Stats like other previous Weapons.

The Spiked Mace consists of an spiked ball of metal attached to a large wooden handle. The Spiked Mace is the last weapon of the Chapter 3 and the best option to fight Lucian.

## Damage Stats

***Normal Hit***

12 Damage Points

***Perfect Hit***

18 Damage Points

## Location

The only Spiked Mace in the game can be found in the Hall of Arms on Floor 3, over a table in front of the Theater door.

## Trivia

. The Sledgehammer and the Spiked Mace feature the same amount of damage 12 points on Normal Hit and 18 points on Perfect Hit.

.This weapon is on a well deserved location, the "Hall of Arms"

. This is the 11th weapon the player can use.

## See Also

.Weapons

.Creatures

.Bosses

.Items
Jumabo

Jumabo is said to be the mother of Alex & Jamie Beltman. Originally of congolese folklore, the Jumabo is a creature large enough to block a river, of which the congo river basin has many. The Jumabo is said to be a large reptilian creature and some scholars believe it to be evidence of a long lost dinosaur. Jumabo is also known by the name of Mokele M'bembe
U/JAR Episode Finder

/u/JAR\_Episode\_Finder is a user active on the JAR Media reddit page r/JARMEDIA. They are known for being able to find in which episode a certain phrase, joke, or topic was discussed with incredible accuracy. Users of the subreddit often will make a post asking for when a topic was discussed, and u/JAR\_Episode\_Finder will often be the first to respond. Users of the subreddit will often tag them or mention them in the post title. It is currently unknown how they have seemingly encyclopedic memory of all Jar Media episodes. As of December 2022, they have found the episode where a bit took place over 77 times.

### **History**

u/JAR\_Episode\_Finder's first comment was on March 23, 2020 and has been active ever since. In The Deliciousness of Timing - JARCast Episode 283, Alex shouts out /u/JAR\_Episode\_Finder for his incredible knowledge of jar lore.

### **Possible Explanations of ability**

* Eidetic (Photographic) Memory / Savantism (-Unlikely, as Eidetic memory isn't a real phenomenon. Savant Syndrome is also statistically very unlikely.)
* Otherwise exceptional memory, perhaps assisted by mnemonic devices or note-taking (More possible, but would still require extreme effort, the kind that would not generally be worth it to be an internet micro micro-celebrity)
* Downloading of the auto-generated subtitles of podcast episodes (Youtube generates subtitles for every video automatically. It would be possible to bulk-download all of these subtitles as .srt files, compile them into a single document, then ctrl+f quotes to find any JAR bit, assuming the subtitles are accurate)

   **References**

1. ↑ https://www.reddit.com/user/JAR\_Episode\_Finder/comments/
2. ↑ https://www.reddit.com/r/JARMEDIA/comments/fn94cd/alex\_lips\_touching\_rubens\_bumhole/fl9otnm/?context=3
3. ↑ https://youtu.be/mO-Z-4DQPT8?t=2256
ModernPowers2 Wikia

<hero description="ModernPowers is a strategy roleplaying game on Voat:

https://voat.co/v/ModernPowers" imagename="" cropposition=""></hero>

## Welcome to the /v/ModernPowers wiki

/v/ModernPowers is a world strategy roleplaying game on Voat. You claim a country, lead it and shape it by making posts on the subverse.

If you are interested in learning more, read the Rules page. It will explain how to claim, how to play and will give you an overview of the game. Also, join our IRC, it will help a lot.

## Links:

* Rules
* Claim Form
* Claimants
* World Map
* Useful Research Links

## Alliances and Organisations

* African Union
* ANZAC
* Axis Of Resistance
* CIS
* EU
* FIFA
* GUAM
* IOC
* NATO
* Nordic Council
* SCO
* UN
* UNSC
* USAN
* SADC

## Pages by Category:

* Countries
* Unclaimed Countries
* Claimed Countries
* NATO Countries

Photos and videos are a great way to add visuals to your wiki. Find videos about your topic by exploring Wikia's Video Library.
Important Guy

**Important Guy,** also known as ***The Important Man*** is a man who is presumed to be of importance. He first appeared on Alex's secret Twitter, where he used it as a reaction image, mainly to Zack Snyder discourse. The first time he was mentioned on the cast was in episode 333, where his name was confirmed to be the "Important Guy". He also appeared several times on IHE, first in "I HATE DESTINY 2: LIGHTFALL", and later making two appearances on the community page.

The Important Guy appeared in Cringemas 2023 as a Naughty present for Jim. Although the true capacity of the mans importance wasn't dwelled or elaborated on.

Important Guy frowningImportant Guy smilingImportant Guy smiling wideImportant Guy with curly hair and a beardImportant Guy scary, briefly used as the profile picture on Alex's secret Twitter
1. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQa3GguEMdY
2. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKYlL6ZGvBQ
3. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/post/Ugkx9wQ01wzHHkBhO9Ti5eto5vY7OcJrFadw
4. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/post/Ugkx7ivoWXOLGI\_S8Lrl7h35EeSFy8-8zfrw
5. ↑ https://youtu.be/MLn135dLZpY?si=gBxGnLIlkHm9aJ5m&t=249
Sandy Cheeks

**Sandra Jennifer Cheeks** was a JAR member, YouTuber and gun control activist. She dated Alex, because he's only SpongeBob, after all.

She was born in Texas, but she moved to England after Alex asked her to be in a music video for the Up Down Album. She became a celebrity because of this, and later became a YouTuber, spreading clickbait and false information on Fortnite. She was fatally shot by Ruben in episode 113, after he believed he was betrayed. Her pictures are shown in later Jarcasts and Up Down music videos to commemorate her passing.

Sandy was a squirrel with many abitilies, including the ability to grow to massive sizes. While her lower body is normally not seen, she has a vacuum cock that can vore almost anything.
Paisley

Paisley is a dog owned by Alex Beltman. Unanimously loved by all of JAR. She made her debut in one of the episodes of the animated Batman series; Episode 175, Prepare for Paisley!. She was teased to the JAR followers through Alex Beltman's twitter, however, through doing so, he garnered the attention of ingrates who wanted him to name the puppy Angry Joe. He however named the child Paisley. This dog has seemingly disappeared and garners little mention on the JARcast
The Normal Episode

"I want today's episode to be the normal episode. NORMAL."

***The Normal Episode*** is the 196th episode of the JARCAST. In this episode, Alex tries to get the other cast members to run a normal podcast.

The episode is regarded as being the best JARCAST episode, although this position is heavily debated by jarlings between it and *WORST YOGS EVER*, better known as the curry episode.

## Summary of content

The episode begins with a short intro segment consisting of Jim and Alex making weird noises, at which point a text overlay warns the viewer that "It's going to be one of those episodes". After this, the intro plays. After the rather normal intro segment, Alex informs Jim and James that he wants that week's episode to be "the normal episode". Shortly following this, the boys begin to discuss their belief that reality is a simulation, citing Alex's hair and light pollution as reasons. James makes the startling revelation that he wants to buy Ugg boots, leading to an insightful discussion on social expectations and toxic masculinity. After a short debate on the concept of normality, the boys reminisce about riding bikes as children. The reddit questions segment is mostly standard fair, with questions regarding mental illness, drunk stories, and what it means to be "smart", until James' testicle goes inside of his body, prompting a discussion on the nature of the testes, which concludes the cast.

There exists a Transcript of the entire episode.

## Trivia

* An NFT of this episode was sold on April 1st, 2022.
* This was the first episode to use the "Premiere" YouTube feature.
Alex's secret twitter

Alex's Secret Twitter is a secret Twitter account run by Alex. The true nature of the account is a mystery almost comparable to the EC. It is said the journey to find the secret twitter is just as much a spiritual one as it is physical, and that only true JARheads can discover it. In the interest of mystery, this page will not reveal anything about the secret account.
Plumber Wrench

*A plumber’s wrench. not too large, but it packs a mean punch when swung.*

—Journal Description

The red classic **Plumber's Wrench** is the ninth weapon in Til Morning's Light.

It shares the same Damage Stats with the Shovel and it is stronger than theCrowbar and Fire Poker, but it is a little weak considering that this weapon is only available until Chapter 3.

## Damage Stats

***Normal Hit***

7 Points of Damage

***Perfect Hit***

10 Points of Damage

## Location

On the Floor 2 in the Bathroom of the Garden Bedroom, at the right side over the table with a lamp.

## Trivia

. A similar wrench weapon can be found in Bioshock.

. This is the 10th weapon the player can use.

## See Also

.Weapons

.Creatures

.Bosses

.Items
Flossy

"Flossy" was the Labrador dog of Alex and Jamie.

The pooch passed away after being put down due to a tumor on the day that Alex got his new dog Argyle. JAR had been meaning to do a Flossy documentary, however she passed away before they were able to record enough footage. She will be greatly missed.

R.I.P
Gold Medallion

*Gold medallion. DEFINITELY gives me more money.*

—Journal Description

The **Gold Medallion** is the second Currency Enhancer in Til Morning's Light.

This Item instead of making the Currency Pickups worth twice it's original value, the Gold Medallion makes them worth five times more.

The Gold Medallion will be unlocked in The Shop after Chapter 3 is completed for a price of 1000 Coins.

## Trivia

.This is one of the two last items to unlock in the Shop, the other one is the Red Potion.

## See Also

.Items

.Chequebook

.Silver Medallion

.Currency Pickups
Jessica Jones

### Relatives

Stupid Dead Family: (Mother, Father, Brother), Abusive Cunt (Step-mother), Dick (Cousin)

## Physical description

### Eye color

Piss

**Jessica Jones** is a member of the JARcast and a minor character in the hit Netflix series, Twins and Banana Bread. Jamie has a massive crush on her but refuses to admit, since she didn't let him be inside her. She suffers from PTSD after Doctor Who forced her to spam Pussy Diarrhoea memes in the comment section. It is unknown whether she was on HashtagTeamAlex, HashtagTeamRuben or HashtagTeamDick in the Jar Civil War but many people argue she was on team Alex, seeing how she lets Alex be inside her all the time.
James

James is the proud holder of the awards for best dog and worst car out of all of the JAR crew.

He tends to hate most JAR memes, despite being the centre of many of them. Alex bases the quality of JAR memes on James' reaction to them, as they are bound to be good if he hates them.

He unironically loves body pillows and insists he 'uses them for medical purposes'. James is a massive hipster in most aspects of life, particularly when it comes to anime.

He has recently developed a love of Warhammer 40K, and inserts references during the cast to the confusion of the other members. This makes him even more similar to Henry Cavill.

## James House

### Aliases

Rallrepia, J a r M e s, APTennyo, AmbushedOrange, Milfhunter, Jordan, Land Grandpa, Vinny, Pisser Dick, The Passionate Napper, Martian MILF Hunter, The Golden Freddy, Bloodcock, The Dad from Inside Out, The Rick and Morty Follower, Dezukos, Tyler Durden, J.Dilla, Gamer James, Puff Puff, The Milkmaid, James' Dad, Craig, Smart Mort, The Biggest Malteser Lover, The Goon, PremiumVoy

### Relatives

His body pillow, Jamie (for a single Yogs)

## Biographical information

### Place of birth

India

Last week

## Physical description

### Eye color

Green

Statistically, James has been absent for the most JARcasts out of the whole gang due to his disappearances for personal reasons both in 2016 and 2017-2018.

He met Jamie in Year 2 and they fucking hated each other until Year 5.

He is most underrated member of the cast by far.

James is a current smoker, and has taken this practice in favour of his crippling addiction to pornography

James is the true creator of FNaF.

**Notable quotes**

"I'm not an anime character, I'm James"

"Big dick in my bum"

"WOOOOOOOOOW"

"I'm animated like an anime character"

"Cringe"

"Good afternoon, morning, evening or night ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Jar Media Podcast"

"*SHAKE IT OFF"*

"But.. but drowning is not nice"

"Juicy fatttiiiieeesssss" (on prawns)

"I'd be really good at directing a.. a car movie. I would. Cuz I know what people wanna watch when they see a car chase. They just wanna see explosions."

1. ↑ Revealed in JAR Cast #283
Jamie

What's up boi?

*"They worshipped the dragon, because he had given his authority to the beast; and they worshipped the beast, saying, “Who is like the beast? Who can fight against it?” -Book of Revelation, 13:4*

Beast is one of the original founders of JAR media and is the Baby Groot/Rocket Racoon of the four. He is the original J in JAR, because fuck James. He wears a beanie a lot and is Alex's younger brother. He is a living reload animation and Alex's personal dancing monkey. He loves Guardians Of The Galaxy so much, especially Groot.

A legend says that he was originally bald because his fuckin hair line is lit as fuck, but he went in an adventure and acquired a Smeagol wig that he stapled permanently to his cranium.

His reactions to things can easily become the new rage faces, he could be a living meme.

He watches Mad Max Fury Road at least 3 times a week.

He is 3 years younger than Alex.

He also bullied James on Minecraft when he was younger.

**Notable quotes**

"I'm actually gonna kill you"

"Started from the bottom now we here"

"What's up boiiiiis"

"Sometimes we have to eat a battery farmed chicken"

"Instead of shovelling babies into furnaces, shovel them into spaceships"

"I can't understand why men have to push women down the stairs, why can't they push themselves?"

"Why the fuck am I even alive?"

"We're coming down on you princess peach!"
Quindle

Quindle next to James

**Quindle** is a former JAR member. Little is known about him, as he was edited out of old episodes of the cast and is no longer seen or heard in them, and is rarely mentioned in new episodes.

In reality, Quindle was a hoax based on a post on r/JARMedia in June of 2022. He became a meme on the subreddit, eventually leading to several mentions of him on the cast, including Alex naming a pig garden ornament "Gertie Quindle". Quindle is likely based on the Graggle Simpson hoax which gained popularity during the same month.
Jarlings

**The Jarlings**, also known as the **Jarmy**, are members of the JAR Media community. They are known as frequent viewers of the JARCAST and frequent JARCAST question askers.

In addition to their JAR-related antics, the Jarlings are extremely committed to solving the deepest mysteries of the universe. They are said to be extremely intelligent researchers and theorists, promoting the fact-based ideology of the Normal Episode.

Jarlings have also spent lots of time delving into the infamous EC conspiracy.
Somehow danced when I was in school

**"Somehow danced when I was in school"** is a line said by James in episode 186, "Drakes Baubles", upon being asked about the negative affects of mobile phones. At the time, James said it was a "reference", but the other boys seemed to have no idea what he was talking about, much to his surprise.  It would later be brought up nearly 3 years later, to which James himself would have no idea what he was talking about. The line has effectively no context.

James stated that he thinks "phones shouldn't exist", which caused Jim completely dismantle his entire personality. After which, James says "You didn't bring up the fact that I said this last week? Or that I somehow danced in school? Come on! That's a bad argument, you're not destroying me." This led to Alex asking what he was talking about, with James just calling it a reference.

They thought the context was cut out if it was stated at the start of the cast, but James says the phrase 43 minutes into the cast. Jim also theorized that it was a misquote, but those are the exact words James said.

The boys have had a bad record of remembering things they have said on the podcast (especially with things they said more than 2 years ago). Many jarlings have more knowledge of what the boys have said the boys themselves.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 https://youtu.be/mmFDbt8JGdE?t=2546
2. ↑ https://youtu.be/XxoH96aySyI?t=2941
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 https://youtu.be/sHn2DGnmHDc?t=1107
IHE LEAVES JAR

Possibly the worst clickbait title in existence.

An ill-advised attempt at drawing in IHE punters and angering fans of his threesome series with Ruben and Dick which somehow got more views than said threesomes.

Proof that most JARlings are actually IHEfags who accidentally goatsed themselves into the JAR dimension.

maxmoefoe commented on it.
Slim Shady

Slim Shady, caught in a moment's recollection of the many murders committed with his trusty ax. The memory pleases him.

## Physical description

### Eye color

hyper-realistic and bleeding

Slim Shady is the name of yet another sibling/relative/character/alternate personality/schizophrenic delusion played by Alex. He is an axe-wielding, serial killing, utterly deranged maniac and so behaves just like Alex. He has only appeared in a single cast, that being the 2022 halloween special, ep. 298.

He is extremely protective of his axe, his weapon of choice, although James manages to snatch it from him for a moment in order to knock over a candle to "get rid of the flame"

The connection to Eminem (Slim Shady being an alter-ego) raises the possibility that he is also related to Alex.