Romance and Marriage in Tunflow

## Romance

The success of a clan depends on both the existing members and their ability to work together in raising future members that are born. This leads to the elders of a clan keeping a close eye on all relationships that occur. Young men are expected to seek the approval for their chosen bride from not only her parents but the elders of the clan as well. Such efforts however are not allowed to take place unless both individuals involved are over the age of eighteen years old.

### Courtship

As an overall practical race of people, it can be very difficult to convey the intentions of courtship through a gift. Even the most thoughtful present can be perceived as merely taking care of a fellow member of the clan. So to make an effort of romance truly obvious, they will offer their partner of interest a small doll. These dolls are carved out of stone or wood and dressed in outfits out of scraps of fur or pelts. They are a statement to their person of interest, admitting that they believe that they would make a good pair and bring a line of strong children to the clan. If accepted, the future bride will keep hold of the doll to eventually pass down to the children she and the man will one day have together. This doll can either look like the woman, the man, or what they imagine their future children may look like - though managing the finer details of the face can be a challenge.

The new couple is expected to perform several tasks together including: hunting, foraging, leather-working, crafting weapons and tools, cooking, setting and retrieving traps or nets, and at times even participating in story-telling and plays. Different clans may include additional challenges based on their areas, such as climbing a mountain together, crafting a fishing boat, or visiting other clans with the help of a sleigh pulled by their wolves. These actions help assure and prove their potential as a couple to the elders of the clan as well as to each other. It can take a couple a year or longer to have a chance to complete all of these requirements but this is an intentional practice. The clans are entirely aware how easy it is to get swept away in love and make an effort to ensure that the decision is a well thought out one. Popular additional “dates” include finding caves in the mountains to paint along the walls of, traveling in their crafted boat even at sunset and finding a chunk of ice to sculpt together, and climbing trees before sunrise and carving a pair of symbols as high up to the top as they can get.

When they are ready for the final step, the woman requests for her lover to capture a live animal for her. If she truly adores him, she’ll pick something doable but still properly challenging. Suggesting something “too easy” like a rabbit would imply that he is incapable or that she lacks faith in his abilities. Yet asking for the impossible such as a whale is a cowardly way to call off the relationship. Though there are some Tunflow legends of a man managing to do these impossible feats anyway with the help of a different woman, and finding love with her instead of the one who rejected him at the last moment. Examples of acceptable beasts that are both possible but still properly challenging are caribou, seals, walrus, birds capable of flight, foxes, or a bear. Once the desired beast is captured, it is to be presented to the clan for one final judgement on their compatibility. Should the clan approve and agree that it is a worthy match, the pair are considered engaged to be married.

It isn’t unheard of for Tunflow to engage in intercourse before marriage, but they tend to practice some caution to prevent themselves from having children before they are certain they have the approval of their clan(s). Many parents, in fear of becoming grandparents much too soon for their liking, will insist  that simply not practicing is the safest way to not have children. Which, while true, can lead to some Tunflow not being entirely sure how to approach the subject. Older brothers and sisters tend to understand the awkward struggle and will happily explain everything to the embarrassment of their younger siblings. Grandparents that may not have passed on yet, are also often less shy about the secrets of romance and intimacy.

### Marriage

If all the courtship requirements have been fulfilled, a pair may begin the steps needed towards having a wedding. The groom-to-be personally makes a gift for every member of the clan and introduces the woman he has chosen for his bride. He works to gain the approval of her parents by providing them with fur pelts and personal needs, such as if one of them could use a new pair of boots or more arrows for their quiver. The rest of the clan will often be given smaller gifts such as leather belts or bags and waterskins. Another popular gift to give the rest of the clan are dream catchers or objects that can be used as good luck charms. This is all to prove himself as a capable and handyman that has not allowed his efforts of winning the woman’s heart to weaken his skills.

Meanwhile, the bride, after the groom has been given approval by her family, spends her days with his family to plan for the ceremony and allow them to get to know her better. They will prepare foods, drinks, and even ceremonial attire. The ceremonial attire made is both for the happy couple and for the Leading Elder to wear on the day of the wedding. Many factors can influence what this attire may look like, mainly the animals they may have to hunt and the chosen animal to represent their bond. For example, should the woman have chosen a caribou, the antlers of one may be worked into a headdress for the Leading Elder to wear. The outfits would also likely be made entirely out of a caribou. Should the woman have chosen a bird, feathers will be worked into the outfits and dresses. The woman’s hair may also be worked to hold pieces of what that bird would use for their nests, if possible. It is a display of faith and gratefulness to the chosen animal for blessing their soon to occur union.

The day begins with preparing and pulling up a massive tent to host the event, one that will be taken apart again once the day ends. Because of this, it isn’t uncommon for couples to try to share wedding days to save the clan some trouble from creating these massive tents more than once or twice a year. Once the tent is up, the ceremony can begin. Women of the clan assist the brides of the day with their attire, or decide on the placement of the food the families had prepared. Meanwhile, the men and children prepare fire pits, pelts to sit on within the ceremonial tent. Their outfits tend to require some help putting on as well, but they’re slightly more straightforward than the designs that the Tunflow tend to put together for their women. Once everyone is prepared, usually by sunset, the ceremony can begin.

Witnesses or guests to the wedding are the first to enter the tent, followed by the elders, then the Leader Elder of the clan. The Elder speaks to those gathered, often prayers to the spirits for the happy couple(s) that are about to be wed. The spiritual elder may also say incantations to themselves, intending to ward away any hostile or bitter beings from ruining the ceremony. A wedding ceremony failing to be completed is often taken as an omen that a couple is not meant to be, or that the spirits are against them. Because of this, it is not uncommon for other individuals in a clan may also choose to whisper incantations of warding in hopes of luck being on their side for the day. After the Leader Elder has spoken, they will call the couples to enter the tent. First, the oldest couple will enter - typically going by the oldest man being married. The pairs will enter from oldest to youngest, wearing their chosen ceremonial attire for the day and holding each other’s hands tightly. Once they reach the leader elder at the end of the tent, they will take hold of their joined hands and tap them to touch them to his or her forehead, before having them move to stand aside and present themselves to those gathered. Their names (First, Last, and Clan Name) will be spoken out loud once they are all gathered at the elder’s end of the tent.

From here, each couple will be asked to remove their masks, one by one. Starting with the eldest man and ending with the youngest woman being married. The Leader Elder will then go to each couple and whisper to them a marking they must carve into their masks at the end of the day. These markings are usually small and done within the mask, hidden from view while they’re worn. Popular locations include the forehead or the lips, though some couples may choose to place it close to their noses or around their eyes. Once they’ve been told what markings they are to make, they are to touch foreheads, waiting for the other couples in the ceremony to be told of their markings as well before the next portion of the ceremony. Some clans may have these couples join in the spiritual leader’s chanting of warding incantations, others ask for silence, and some may only encourage soft humming.

The next and final step of the ceremony is the couples to step forward, youngest first then on to the eldest couple, and announce their now shared last name and which clan they will live with from that day on. Usually, the woman will go to the man’s clan, should they be from a different one. Though they may choose to go with the woman’s clan, should she happen to be with or have already given birth to a child before the ceremony. These ceremonies are also one of the moments when a group of young couples may announce themselves to be starting a new clan with a few other members in the crowd. They may share which area of Tunflow they intend to begin living, sharing cardinal directions they will begin in and if they will go to mountains, forests, or to the sea or perhaps attempt to live in more than just one kind of region. Regardless of the choices, everyone gathered then begins leaving the tent, starting with the guests, the elders, and finally the newly wed couple(s).

The newly weds may take a few moments in the tent to congratulate each other before they go to face the rest of their families and loved ones. It’s a moment of calm privacy before they are inevitably bombarded with cheers and questions. As soon as they step out, the remainder of the day is spent telling stories and wishing the new couple(s) a happy life while feasting on the food that had been prepared for the special day. In any moments of quiet the bride(s) and groom(s) get, they are expected to carve at the inner parts of their masks with the symbol given to them by the Leader Elder. It sometimes becomes a competition or challenge for other couples to see who is able to take the longest in completing their carving. Some will purposefully extend how long it takes for them by either dancing with their partner often, initiating stories, or making the marking more and more elaborate and spread out within the mask. Completing this carving too quickly is often teased as the couple rushing to get away to have their first evening together as husband and wife. Which is just another reason for them to delay their process and enjoy more time with those they care about.

Tunflow don’t quite see the reason for same sex relations nor of either gender having multiple spouses at one time. However, there may be the odd clan that will support a man having more than one wife or a woman with more than one husband. Grounds for divorce are more spiritual than personal reasons, occurring when a child dies or if other omens happen to the couple. A divorce may be delayed until all children are adults if another child down the line dies - and may not occur at all depending on the circumstances of the death.