The Moon

*Note that this page is of considerable length, especially when compared to most other pages on the Wiki*

## The Moon

### Location

The Moon

If you didn't already know, the Moon is a very important part of the Shermniverse lore. From the discovery of Moon Cheese, to the Yearly Poop Festival's special 15th anniversary celebration, to even invasions by sentient alien ballsacks, you have to get caught up on all the info bro.

## Moon Cheese

Did you think that landing on the Moon was an important event? Well you're wrong there. That 'historic event' has nothing on the discovery of... ***Moon Cheese.***

In 2013, a mission went underway for astronauts to travel to the Moon and travel through its deep caverns and craters. Surprisingly, it only took a week to prepare for the journey. The venture was planned to be broadcasted on live television, but it was later decided against for reasons not given. "Ummm, we can't show it, because we can't." said a government official.

On November 21st, 2013, at 8:53 AM, the rocket had finally landed on the Nuhtsahkee Crater on the left side of the Moon. As the astronauts stepped out, the sight was beautiful... many miles of absolutley nothing but the grey dry surface of the Moon. Amazing. But this hadn't ended the journey as it simply has just started. So the 'nauts continued to travel, albeit at a... relatively slow pace. However after 28 minutes of ambient hopping, they finally found it... the greatest thing ever found in all of history, ever. A pointy rock shot upwards in the middle of nowhere as a shiny yellow substance dripped onto the ground. There it was. The first trace of Moon Cheese found by modern humans. Glorious. Amazing. Wow. I can't believe that. Perhaps we could take it back to Earth and create Moon Cheese sandwiches. The astronauts weren't prepared to interact with any 'substances' on the journey, however. So how would they take a sample of such a stupendous formula? Thankfully one of the 'nauts had a spare cotton swab in his pocket.

After putting it into a spare jar, the nauts were convinced that they've already discovered enough. I mean, it's literally Moon Cheese... if you discover something as great as that already, is it really worth continuing the journey? If you said no, you're in luck because that's exactly what the astronauts thought. They had waddled back to their rocket, ready to return home. Now, all well ends well, right? Welp, mysteriously, what exactly happened after they got back to the rocket is unspecified. No article online seems to agree on what exactly occurred in that ship. Perhaps something happened that no one can know about occured? It's pretty hard to say either way. But regardless, this sure did cause conspiracy theorists to go absolutely bonkers. Which is a great way for me to transition into...

## Aliens

Ah... Aliens. Those extraterrestrials have puzzled the human race for millennia now. It's a classic subject of conversation that will probably last until the end of time. The mere thought of these mystifying creatures acts as a fuel of sorts, for the plenty of maniacal theorists that will try and convince you that your parents are actually aliens themselves (I mean, have you ever thought about it?) Are these things even real? If they are, why haven't we made any contact with them? Well, if you can't prove it, it's good material for a conspiracy, right? The answer is yes, because there are tons of theories about their existence. It would take centuries for me to name every single one. but I can at least name the most popular ones. Unless they aren't theories after all...

### The Ballsackians

Oh, of course. There's no way you can mention the Moon and not end up mentioning the Ballsackians along with it. The Ballsackians are a semi-intelligent race of aliens, with their most notable feature being the fact that they resemble the human scrotum. Isn't that funny? The mere existence of these dudes was long thought to be no more than a simple myth, with the occasional nutjob who firmly believed that their existence was simply kept hidden from the world. But one day in 2016, a spaceship taking on the shape of the human penis crash landed in Skemptonomits Park in Semi-New York City. Can you believe what popped out of it? It was the BALLSACKIANS! They were totally real all along! Isn't that great? Expectedly, a large crowd formed around the crash site (which indirectly revealed the sexualities of multiple citizens, as there were men clearly interested in seeing a floating glowing penis), and it wasn't long until police and government officials had to step in and take charge. They told people to leave the area and stay inside their homes, as the Ballsackians could be dangerous. They weren't. The gelatinous ballsacks didn't bring any weapons with them (they weren't planning a trip to Earth in the first place), and they weren't used to the gravity of Earth, so they did nothing but slowly waddle across the ground looking like ballsacks. Eventually, the government just had the creatures killed (by just gunshot surprisingly) but kept their bodies for future testing. That whole event was not something that could be easily covered up, so the existence of the Ballsackians eventually spread across the world, uncovering another secret of the universe to us.

Now, is that the only somewhat interesting thing about the Ballsackians? They're literally living ballsacks, of course there had to be more! Specifically, photos were spread online rumored to show some sort of extraterrestrial base being set up on the Moon. Arguments about whether or not the images were doctored raged on, while the government pooped their panties. Are Ballsackians trying to set up a base on *OUR* Moon? Despicable, They must be eradicated as soon as possible. But the government wasn't sure how they could do it, so they had to contact someone else to do the job. They ended up deciding to contact my man Steve Harvey. They were made aware of his new Harvey-Mobile, a high-tech spaceship, plane, submarine, car-hybrid that Harvey would take rides with, just for fun. He was asked to travel all the way up there to the Moon, and take the Ballsackians down in order to protect our precious little lunar baby. So Steve hopped in, and drove to the moon in... however long it would take to get to the moon. He eventually landed, was in awe of the sight in front of him. There were these strange metallic pillars and glowing beams being planted into the surface, with multiple Ballsackians overseeing the operation. Harvey became distressed when realized that he didn't bring any weapons along side him, so he had no idea how he was supposed to defeat them. Well he did have one thing - a picture of Sheniqua bent over, naked, given to him by his buddy Dr. Phil. He just found it on the ground when taking a walk. He noted how absolutely horrid the sight of Mrs. Cheeks was, and how some people pooped their schloops to death upon seeing her wretched looks. Harvey thought that he could just show them the picture, and then they would explode from the extreme ugliness. So Harvey turned his suit into that of an astronaut's at just the hit of a button, and hopped out. The Ballsackians looked towards him, some making these weird gurgling noises, possibly communicating with one another. Harvey then grabbed the photo of Sheniqua and showed it to them. One alien winced in pain, but they all shortly clicked the buttons on their weird tech necklaces, which put reflecting helmets over their juicy heads. The image of naked Sheniqua was then reflected directly in the direction of Harvey, which made him go "I forgot how damn ugly that thing is!" The sheer ugliness of the forbidden image emitted a shock-wave, which blasted Harvey and his Harvey-Mobile far away, in which they eventually crash-landed back on Earth. The government peed themselves after this, as they thought that the Ballsackians were responsible, and *much* more powerful than they thought. So powerful, in fact, that the government thought it would be better to just make peace with the aliens, and let them take control of the Moon, no interference. Harvey wasn't so happy with that idea - so unhappy, in fact, that after he was treated for his injuries and got the Harvey-Mobile repaired, he went straight back up there. This time, however, he brought many weapons with him, such as the Bloody-Poop-Bazooka. Long story short, Harvey, although fracturing his bones, was able to kill all of the Ballsackians, and destroyed whatever crap they were trying to put on the Moon. The Ballsackians have held a grudge against humans ever since then, but have lessened their extermination efforts to mundane operations, like sending a single U.F.O to abduct someone, or poor attempts to disguise as human (WHICH YOU CAN READ ABOUT DOWN BELOW!!).

This super-exciting tale was later adapted into the Story Mode for the super-duper epically depically awesome game, Super Mega Fighters! Harvey was overjoyed and found it sexy, while the Ballsackians wanted to eradicate the human race even more so than ever before.

### How to spot a Human-Disguised Alien (HDA)

Aliens aren't dumb. How do you think they make all those fancy spaceships and hyper-sonic Tic-Tacs? They also probably realized that constantly fighting with your own species does absolutely nothing to help transform yourselves into an intergalactic civilization. So if they were to try and infiltrate our planet, do you think they would just come down lookin' like gelatinous ballsacks in their stupid highly-advanced spaceships? **NO**! To make themselves less obvious, and to help them blend into the crowd, they can simply disguise themselves as human-beings. Yeah, it's scary, I know... Like how do you know that last person you've interacted with isn't an shape-shifting extraterrestrial? Luckily, there are multiple ways you can test if someone is a Human-Disguised Alien, which we will abbreviate as an "HDA."

#### Strange Noises

Probably the most obvious method, try and check if any suspicious subjects make any kinds of strange noises. Of course, you could do this at anytime, but the best option would be to do it in secret. Try and keep watch when they think that they're all alone. They won't ever suspect that you're there, and then, they make some hideous screech and molt their human form. Staying like that isn't easy, even Aliens need a break from it all. Of course, if you've got guaranteed proof that your friend is a hideous beast, arm yourself. Insure that you have lots of weapons and tools at your disposal. Having one of everything is key, as you don't know what the Alien skin could be resistant to. Bullets don't leave a scratch? Light that thing on fire. Flames don't work? Well, you're screwed.

#### Certain Food Opinions

People are able to have their own individual opinions on whatever they want, right? That, of course, is entirely false. There are specific opinions on specific things, that all people must conform to. You shouldn't have a differing opinion on any of these things, unless you want to be killed in the streets. One of these things are food. There are some truly heinous 'opinions' on certain foods out there, and they are just disgusting. Somehow, certain "people" actually think pizza tastes better without sauce. If that doesn't want to make those alien scum get off of our planet, I don't know what will. Like, it's not even pizza anymore! What the fuck made you even think this is even remotely okay? Just be sure to have a shotgun on hand, in case you ever hear such a wretched combination of words fly out of some creatures mouth. Though honestly, you should kill them no matter what species they are if they have an opinion as treacherous as that.

##### Affinity for Tomatoes

Can you name any foods that are just awful? There can be tons of answers, most of which are probably wrong, but a really good choice would be tomatoes. Why? Because they are terrible - they add nothing of value to any sort of meal, and are one of the most useless things ever created. Who willingly decides to eat a tomato? I can't imagine getting any sort of enjoyment out of those little red pests. So, if you see someone who likes to eat tomatoes, you've got an alien right there. They simply are trying to appear relatable, by mimicking things that humans would do, like consuming all kinds of foods. Now, I've called aliens smart, but that doesn't mean that they can't sometimes do stupid things. One of these stupid things, is eating tomatoes. Almost everyone knows how bad tomatoes are, so they easily know if there's a monstrous alien hiding in secret. Make sure to immediately eradicate anyone who you see digesting a tomato, before they kill us all. If they don't have hideous screams of pain and don't loose their human form, don't worry. They must simply be extra-tough aliens that are really good at keeping the illusion of being human going. Trust me on this, the red liquid is merely tomato juice that they store in their bodies because they are sick freaks.

#### Claiming to be of "British" descent

Ever heard of British people? Now, now, I didn't mean to scare you with that sentence there, but it's a very important question. Because if you have, congratulations, you've just been made aware - British people aren't real, and are just aliens. The only creatures that would call fries "chips" are aliens, because they're struggling to speak like humans do. So it's simple, if a person claims to be British, you just slay them - they are aliens. British people used to be real surprisingly, but their numbers dwindled after aliens took over the United Kingdom in 2011. Now, aliens make up over 78% of the population there. Humans still alive there simply have taken refuge in their homes, which they've been doing practically since the aliens first invaded. Supplies are air-dropped here every month or so. If you're wondering why the government doesn't just try kill the aliens, it's because doing such a thing is pretty tough. The aliens in their normal forms, are a light purple, with tons of large sharp spikes all over them. When they feel threatened, or want to fight back, they can 'fold' all of these spikes together, which create a protective armor-like coating. This 'armor' is extremely durable, and various firearms have been shown to do little damage. The only effective way to harm them is doing anything to them while they're in human form, which is difficult in of itself as they can morph forms very quickly. Just bombing the country has been suggested multiple times by multiple world leaders, but they would almost definitely take lots of human lives in the process. So the citizens of the U.K must live like this for as long as those aliens are willing to put up a fight. Those who're originally from U.K and were overseas, were forced to stay where ever they were for the time being. Metal detectors across the globe have been implementing a special technology which uses lasers packed with a special chemical, which makes the bodies of human-disguised aliens glow. They then will undergo the procedures they have in place to deal with these country-traveling aliens.

## U.F.Os

Let us not forget about the U.F.Os. These things are spotted everywhere. Like, there's probably reports of them in the depths of the Mariana Trench or in your grandma's old closet. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes it seems. It's strange that most people make sure to grab their camera with the lowest possible quality when recording them though. Maybe the aliens telepathically make them do it so they can't be easily documented? It's hard to say. They come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes and colors. Some even abduct people!! It's rather difficult to determine why... maybe they need some subjects for some experiments? They're just visiting Earth on an empty stomach? They just did it for fun? We may never truly find out the truth. Unless you get abducted yourself! Though the chances of you returning to Earth to tell the tale is quite slim... Meh, whatever, why not try it out anyways?

Once a group of archaeologists were digging in the great rancid fart jungles of Brazil. One of them came across an old wooden chest. After the team struggled to get it open, they looked inside. Lying within the chest, were a camera and an old piece of paper. The paper was clearly very old; it seems to have rotted so much, whatever was on it is borderline unreadable. The mysterious camera however, was seemingly in perfectly fine condition. They had wondered if anything was stored on the camera. Out of overwhelming curiosity, of the people decided to check that single video that was stored on the camera. It displayed a dark grey sky, seemingly during a rainstorm. Whoever was recording seemed to be shaking pretty intensely, so focusing on any one thing seemed improbable. Suddenly, the camera turns to the right. Then an unknown glowing aircraft is seen flying by in the distance. It has a triangular shape, and three glowing circles on its underside. After the aircraft goes out of view, the camera quickly points to the ground, and then the footage stops. The archaeologists were both shocked and confused about whatever they had just witnessed. They decided that they'd put the footage online, to see if maybe somebody else would have a reasonable explanation. The video ended up gaining around 2,369 views, not too popular, but not that bad either. People were in the comments speculating about some random garbage. But one day, one of the archaeologists had decided to check on the video, only to discover that the video was

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**This information was removed by request of the U.S. Government.**

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## Notes & Trivia

* Judge Judy once wanted to purchase the Moon solely for the sake of having it. She wasn't able to buy it in time, since she accidentally flushed one of her 34 wallets down the toilet.