Fire by Nite (Episode 3) - "Rebellion" (GAM260)

Noah Lugeons

Eli Bosnick

***Fire by Nite*** (not to be confused with Donald Trump's HR policy or Anthony Scaramucci's biography) **(Episode 3) - Rebellion** is an episode of a Christian variety show produced by the largest megachurch in Tulsa, the Church on the Move, and it's shocking that it didn't destroy the entire genre of comedy variety shows—you throw out the mould when you see something like this. This is "skit comedy" as opposed to "sketch comedy" (a "skit" is what you do in drama class to work out a scene), and defines the genre of "we'll fix it in post."

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because if we keep working, we feel essential.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love *Saturday Night Live*, but the only part of it you've seen is the opening credits though your atheist neighbour's window, you *made* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Eli: …"What's Hot" segment. [Goes off the rails from what's hot in Christian music.]
* Meg: …"Rebel Brothers." [The definition of un-comfy from beginning to end.]
* Noah: ...segues. [Skit comedy doesn't need segues].

### **Notes**

* Check out Meg on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, her website, and GAM episode two, *No Greater Love*.
* The rest of the series was *not* lost in the mists of time, and most of its ninety-one-episode ten-year run is still available, including the previously reviewed first episode, "Peer Pressure."
* Meg spent the worst night of her life (election night 2016) with Eli, and almost with Noah since Eli had also invited him.

### **Jokes**

* [Eli: He *pitches* their ski weekend, and look, nothing will tell you about the audience of this show more than the fact that they're like, "Yeah, literally everyone watching this show should come to our ski weekend–we have plenty of room for *both* of our audience members.] [Meg: What's crazy about *that* ski weekend is that… so that is their original fundraising pitch, and it feels like someone went to, like, got a free weekend in Tallahassee in exchange for the condo pitch, and they were like, "Dude, I just went to the most hilarious meeting in the world!" and they were like, "Let's put it in the show."] [Noah: "You're right, I can't afford *not* to get it. That's great! It's a good pitch."] [Meg: I can't afford not to. And then they start off *hard*, and they never relent from reminding you how many ways you could *die* while skiing.] [Noah: Well okay, here's the fucked up thing about this: the ski weekend thing *wasn't* a real thing. That was just their *in* for this bit.] [Meg: No…] [Eli: Nooo!] [Noah: Yes!] [Meg: No. No way.] [Eli: I absol—no, I can't. I cannot. There has to—] [Meg: That's not true.] [Noah: There's literally no information beyond "We're going to have a ski weekend this weekend as a show!" There's no sign up ad or "write in to" or call—no, that was just the theme of their comedy thing, or the thing that they did instead of comedy was skiing, and that was their in. I'm almost certain of that.] [Eli: My whole life is changed, that this is not a real… because it's a sloppy ski weekend pitch but it's an *insane* comedy pitch.] [Meg: This makes me feel differently about things. I don't know Noah; I believe that as much as I believe that someone floated to Heaven from behind that big rock on Easter. You know what I mean. Egh. Eeeeegh. I don't know,] [Eli: He's also going to tease the end of this awesome ending of this episode here. He's like, "And by the way, stick around to the end of the show, because I'm going to fight a woman. That's right, I'm going to *fight* a woman."] [Meg: That's what he said. Also, never trust anyone who calls a snowsuit "bib overalls."] [Noah: Right? What the fuck was that?] [Meg: Why does he say that. Hold on… I need to go back to this: you really think it was a bit?] [Noah: I.. I'm....] [Eli: If it's a *bit*, then he was in the writer's room and he was like, "Guys, I've got a great comedy premise: we *describe* a possible ski weekend… I am *done* pitching."] [Noah: Yup. Well no, but yeah, right, because the whole thing was that we had these *hilarious* ideas for the, you know, "ski tips", so we go through this whole little thing where he's got all these—somebody drew all of these little things that they thought they were going to…. and then they had the little easel that he threw away of all the—various humorous "rules of skiing" that he had. Yeah, I think it was all just a setup for that bit.] [Eli, Aw, that's amazing. That's amazing and—] [Meg: See, this is the thing… the whole—this—the other title for *Fire by Nite* should be *Telegraph the Joke*.] [Noah: Right?] [Meg: So, that *this* is a bit, seems… like not their style. Their comedy stylings are "Can you *believe* that we're ding ding-a-ling ding *doing* this?" It's like—] [Noah: Alright, but literally otherwise the ski weekend was "Hey, come to our ski weekend—we're not going to tell you when or how."] [Eli: I don't know which I like *more*. I kind of like that one too, where they held a ski weekend, and then they were all sitting there by themselves with one-hundred cups of cocoa.] [Noah: "Oh fuck, we never even told them which *town* it was gonna be in."] [Eli: "Aw, fuck… we forgot to…"] [Meg: That's the thing. I mean, where are they going skiing? Like which?] [Eli: Tulsa.] [Meg: Like, I learned to ski in Wisconsin, so that's pretty close.] [Eli: It's all bunny hills all the time.] [Meg: Oh my God, that incredi—I'm going to live in a world where that's a *bit*. That's *amazing*.] (11:50)
* [Noah: And I should point out to the audience that we usually try to avoid doing bad comedy on *God Awful Movies* because it's hard to describe bad comedy in a way that's funny, right? Cause you're describing how funny it isn't. This show is *such* an exception to that rule, because where they try to get their humor is stuff like, "Why those hats are *far* too big to be practical", right?] [Eli: Yeah. At *best*. At best. Usually their comedy source is just like, "Remember? This is like a *real* thing."] [Noah: Yeah, I get that they can't cuss and stuff, but is being *funny* a sin? I don't understand it.] [Meg: Yes, it is. And it's funny because it's like—I kept thinking of like, "Who's the audience?" So this is the audience that they're still trying to convince to go on a ski weekend, right? So, this is the audience who they've duped into thinking a ski weekend is *possible* in February, and they're all based in like—they would think an "Okie from Muskogee" in funny—this is the same crowd that protested Vietnam protesters and they're like "Yes. Merle Haggard is correct."] [Eli: Now I have an alternate take, which is maybe "Muskogee Vice" is a totally serious cop show to them.] [Meg: "When did this become a drama?"] [Eli: "But I'm loving it."] [Noah: So the interesting thing though, is the intended audience is "kids in a church that aren't allowed to leave." Right? And that's what they're doing. What they're trying to sell—so they're not trying sell the kids that are watching it, they're trying to sell the adults that are going to *make* the kids watch it. So what they're going to do is put a bunch of prayers and bullshit in there to make the religious people happy, and then they're going to be like "And funny hats and shit, right. Kids love funny hats." And that's good enough, apparently, for ninety-one episodes.] [Meg: *Ninety-one* episodes.] (33:55)

### **Interstitials**

* "Rebellion" Writer's Meeting (7:37)
* Improv for Christians (40:41)

### **Tropes**

* Boss in a Bit Part
* Behind on the Rent
* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* Dollar in the Swear Jar
* Indoctrination of Children
* Make Me a Sammich!
* Not Christian Enough
* Pearl Clutching
* RACISM!
* SEXISM!
* Women Shouldn't Touch Money

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Film on YouTube
* IMDB

### **Ad Reads**

* Hello Fresh: Not Another Hot Pocket, Noah! (1:40:27)
* Mint Mobile: Welcome to Big Cellphone Company. Stand Over There. (1:42:55)