Personal Assistant

"**Personal Assistant**" is the second segment of the nineteenth episode of the first season of *Kiff*. It is the thirty-eighth episode overall.

## Synopsis

Kiff tries to fail at being Helen's personal assistant so she can retake her career test.

## Plot

Miss Deer Teacher's students have taken a career test and are lining up to learn their potential future careers by having their answer sheets analyzed by a special computer. Helen suddenly bursts into the classroom and tells the class that something is happening outside, but all they see is that her car is being towed for being in Principal Secretary's parking spot. Kiff has her answer sheet scanned by the computer, but is disappointed by the career it suggests for her: personal assistant. Wanting a more exciting career, she asks Miss Deer Teacher to let her retake the test. Miss Deer Teacher encourages Kiff to be a personal assistant for a week and agrees to let Kiff retake the test if the job turns out to be a bad fit. Helen overhears them and hires Kiff as her assistant.

Kiff tries to be an incompetent personal assistant, but unintentionally ends up doing all of Helen's chores successfully. Barry, who in the meantime has been trying out investigative journalism based on his career test result, suggests that Kiff should get Helen to give her an impossible task. When Kiff asks Helen what her most impossible-sounding dream is, Helen reveals her lifelong wish to win the Table Town Humanitarian of the Year (TTHOTY) award, which she has lost for 400 consecutive years and even been banned from attending the ceremony for. Kiff tells Helen that she will help her win the award and that if she fails, Helen can fire her. Kiff devises a plan to sneak Helen into that year's ceremony, which is coincidentally happening the following night.

At the ceremony, Kiff hides in the rafters and pulls a lever that opens a trapdoor on the stage. Helen emerges from the trapdoor and interrupts the ceremony with a speech berating the judges and audience. As the speech ends, Kiff releases a large banner (reading "Gimme the award dummies!") behind Helen, but loses her balance and falls from the rafters. Helen jumps up and catches Kiff – but only because Kiff happens to be holding Helen's bag full of crullers – and the judges decide to give Helen the TTHOTY for saving Kiff's life. Kiff sadly wonders if she really is destined to be a personal assistant.

Suddenly, Barry arrives with Reggie and Renée and crashes the stage, claiming to have an exposé on Helen. They broadcast a video recorded by Renée which reveals that Helen placed a spell on the career test computer to make it give Kiff a recommendation of personal assistant, as Helen wanted someone to do her chores for free. Kiff says that the week still showed that being a personal assistant is indeed her calling, but Barry replies that it actually showed that if she could do something as seemingly impossible as helping Helen win a TTHOTY, then she can do anything. Helen's award is revoked, but she flees the auditorium with the award statuette. Kiff jokes that Helen cannot get very far since her car is impounded, to everyone's laughter.

## Cast and characters

* Kimiko Glenn as Kiff Chatterley
* H. Michael Croner as Barry Buns
* Eric Bauza as Reggie
* Lucy Heavens as Helen
* Deedee Magno Hall as Miss Deer Teacher
* Mary Mack as Renée du Bedat
* Steve Little as Glarbin Gloobin

## Locations

* Table Town
	+ Table Town Middle School
	+ Slim Pickins
	+ Table Town Auditorium

## Songs

* "Bad Assistant" – written by Brad Breeck

## Trivia

* **Opening sponsor**: Carol's Crullers.
* The song "Bad Assistant" is a loose parody of the 1982 song "Bad to the Bone" by George Thorogood and the Destroyers.

### Continuity

* It is established in this episode that Helen has been rejected from winning the Table Town Humanitarian of the Year award for 400 years, which would indicate that she falsified her age as 217 on her faculty ID in "Big Barry on Campus" to appear younger.