Love Letter 1: A Romp in the Swamp

My dearest Beshaba,

Hail thee, my beauteous love, Lady Doom, bringer of ill omen, darer of the fair to pass air from their derrieres.

As I have promised to you on this pilgrimage of undying love, I bear in great detail the life and liberty of the putrid village of Hope. Though your divine eye remains blinded from all within its walls, I promise that you have missed nothing. In short, the place is a wreck. All inside barely get by on their meager earnings and doomed quests to improve the savagery beyond the limits of the town, and those who return often do so with bad tidings. It’s as though you’ve caressed Hope with your love already. With the respect due to a beautiful, kind goddess such as yourself, I humbly declare that your ill omen is so strong in this place that there are others who must be wishing to have it!

My first adventure outside the walls of Hope, as you saw, showed that your love has been focused here so strongly that there are others who surely must be lacking in your affections. Our first efforts at heading north off of the road sent us right back to it as we discovered we’d only ventured a dozen miles west. I could feel your influence then, my Lady, and held it close to my heart as we wandered northwest, and all through the night.

Was it you who showed us those standing stones when we ventured further north the next day? As you’ve taught me, there is no random chance, and we all of course know that Tymora can FUCK. OFF.

But it seemed an auspicious sign. Were you following my advice to look other places for a moment there? Or was that just a brief respite from those frogs that we encountered?

I must, with all due respect and submissiveness, admit my mild offense, dear, that you so eagerly cast me aside to die. A single exploding frog and I fall unconscious? It’s like you don’t even want me to be here. I only found myself standing again due to the blessings and love of *another god.*

And not just *any* god. It was *Bahamut.* You HATE Bahamut. Always going on in your Precepts about how snooty he is, how he’s not allowing luck to run its course, how he just wants good things to happen, and so on and so on. I know it was wrong to accept his help, but I couldn't help it! I was unconscious! And it *did* save me! Didn’t you want to save me? If you did, why were you so bitter? Was it because of the touch of another god? Is that why I wasn’t able to *toll the dead* against all those toads? If you were going to be bitter, why didn't you just save me instead?

Our relationship is so complicated. Sometimes I wish you’d speak to me more clearly. I know we’re on this mission together, to make sure you don’t overspend your welcome anywhere, but couldn’t you just tell me what you *want*?

Those two trolls were quite the doozy in that glowy mushroomy camping spot a bit further north. Even if it wasn't you who brought me there to see all those beautiful glowing plants... ugh, you know I can’t stay mad at you. Not after you protected me there, even if you couldn’t help me put even *one* of them to *sleep*. You guided my shield, as you always do, when the savage troll tried to take my eyes out. Even one hit would’ve slain me, but I was completely safe. Maybe you really did feel remorse for earlier, my Lady.

I’m sorry for these accusations. I just have to write how I feel. After all, what do we have if we don’t properly communicate?

Anyway, we had quite the jaunt out there. It was very dangerous. Very scary. A lot of us almost died. Including me, your servant... so is it possible, maybe, that you’re overdoing it out here? The Savage March is so savage on its own. And we had been trying to get to a mine to save people. You couldn’t have cursed us there? Why do it along the way and prevent us from even arriving? It’s just a bit much, my love.

Hail to thee, my beloved Beshaba. You know I’m not going anywhere. Just don’t forget how much the entire world needs you. This place… It’s no more special than anywhere else. It wouldn’t hurt to give them a break.

With undying affection,

Always and forever yours,

Your eternal devotee,

Knock