Game Log 21

## Secret Lives of Dwarves

-=-mid Darkness Season-=-

The bead, bone and feather decorated bag sat on the table between the warchief and the shaman. Neither spoke and mood was both tense and grim. The other Firstborn stood around, silently observing. Finally Mankar spoke, "So, just to confirm, Candle-Eyed Jack, the retribution spirit feared by every Troll on, and under, the world is in that bag?"

Mantis pursed his lips in thought. "Yes, that's a good way of putting it."

"We obviously can't keep it."

Mantis was noticeably unhappy with that conclusion. The spirit, proper cultivated, could topple armies! Plus having Trolls fear him was not a BAD thing. Still, it was like riding a dragon; the second you lose your grip, you'd be eaten. "Not OBVIOUSLY, but I'm forced to agree."

"Destroying it, even if possible, is not a good idea either. I think it best if we find the politest--and FASTEST--way to give this thing back to Subare. The reason Gods even have retributions spirits is so they don't have to handle every messy detail themselves. I don't want her taking a PERSONAL interest in us! Not to mention every troll taller than knee-high we ever met anywhere!"

The shaman sighed, "I can't think of anything better. Sometimes a treasure can be too valuable. Best to give it away even if we take a loss!"

Mankar nodded. "Astra, find us a ritual suitable for relieving us of this burden. Quickly!"

After a few hours, Astra returned with her findings. "Of the ones we can do without involving the trolls, there are three. He can get Hennesey to sacrifice a human who with eat the blame carry it to hell. She is not bound by the Storm Tribe's restrictions on sacrifice but it would take several weeks to travel, find a priest or priestess and convince them all while in enemy territory. The second method is to let one of our own elders shoulder the grudge and take it to the underworld with her when she dies. The third is to have a friendly Yelmite bless the village with light, driving out the darkness spirits, Candle-Eyed Jack and the grudge as well."

"None of those are ideal. What about its creation myth? Is there a method in there?"

She seemed surprised by the question and answered thoughtfully, "We would need the help of the Trolls, who might be somewhat hostile right now, but that might work. If the myth is retold but we substitute the ACTUAL spirit, that would return it to Subare and carry the burden with it."

"Tell us about it!" Aud asked with interest.

"After the Devil slew Ernalda, her mother Esralia buried her to keep her safe. But Kyoritek, she who steals good things that are buried, took the body and hid it. Subare agreed to find and return the body in exchange for a plant that would be solely hers. She was granted the gourd and the first one born was Candle-Eyed Jack. I don't know the actual details of the ritual from the myth but there doesn't seem to be anything, on the surface, that would be objectionable."

Mantis agreed. "There's probably something involving planting, maybe finding the perfect seed or something like that."

"At any rate, Gnelessi knows the troll mother and the way there. She might also have good ideas on how to handle the situation."

In the end, the matriarch reluctantly agreed... as long as Mankar built her a comfortable sedan chair to be carried by him and Mantis. She also directed Mankar to acquire a quantity of vinegar so they could douse themselves with it to make them seem less appetizing in emergencies. He quickly soured some apfelwein from batches he was less than happy with completing that task easily.

-=- Next Day -=-

The beginning of the trip was unremarkable, only punctuated by the old woman's constant complaints and her repeatedly hitting Mantis on the head with her cane. Mankar silently thanked his good fortune that he had designed the litter so that he was in the rear and not the front.

About halfway there, Ryala spotted a caravan ahead. "It wasn't hard. As flashy and bag as it is, I could've seen them with my eyes closed!"

Mankar inspected the procession with a spyglass. He made an unpleasant face. "Lunars. Traders by the looks of it. He handed the glass to Astra who confirmed this. "Etradies certainly."

"Should we avoid them?" Aud asked quietly.

Mankar growled, "They've most likely seen us even if they don't know who we are. Can you shoo them off quickly? Buy something if you have to since they are traders."

They made no effort to conceal themselves from the bespangled wagon train. A woman rode on top in a luxuriously appointed area that would shame a pampered favored mistress of some emperor. The woman stopped the wagon train and said, "Peasants, how lovely! Let us share the blessings of civilization and knowledge upon them! I, Alka the Thrice Blessed, can do no less!"

Mankar felt a strange dissonance the moment she started talking. It was like their encounter with the safari people but a dozen times worse because these were actual Lunars. To keep control over his emotions -- and his sword! -- he concentrate on the many ways he could eviscerate them when the time was right. A small smile played on his face as he was lost in his imaginings. It was only when the negotiations were over that he replayed the events in his head. Other than Aud's glow being remove in a fit of pique, nothing important so she shrugged and made a note to destroy the Etraidies cult if he lived to see the end of the Lunar Empire.

Mantis grumbled, "That could have gone better."

Astra mocked him lightly, "Well, it was false advertising."

"That was just an opening offer! There was no contract signed!"

She just rolled her eyes and refused to continue the conversation.

When they were getting near the trolls' area, Ryala stopped. "What th...!" She popped out her flaming sword as multiple nets flew at them! In response, there were multiple high-pitched shrieks as a wave of dark smoke hid the attackers except for one lonely trollkin was caught without cover.

"Ha!" She yelled and grabbed the dirty thing by the scruff of his neck. "Come and taste my blade, fool!"

The old priestess said crossly, "Put it down and apologize now, Ryala!"

"But!"

"Now! You've scared it nearly to death. We're here to ask a boon, not start a war! Say this..." She growled a phrase in trollish.

"Yes'm." Ryala tried to repeat the phrase.

The trollkin turned pale and his eyes rolled back in his head as he fainted.

"You said, 'I'm hungry' rather than 'I'm sorry'."

"Oh, right!" She shook the trollkin awake and tried again. This time, the creature didn't faint, so Ryala put him down. After a short conversation with Gnelessi, they continued onward.

As they followed the rocky trail they came what was obviously a broken doorway... or rather, a broken fortress portal!

Mankar stared at it with wonder, "Dwarvish work, this was. If I'm wrong, I'll eat them without salt!"

Astra responded, "Since trolls live here now, there's little doubt as to how the change of ownership occurred."

"That's a pity. But, maybe, we might find something interesting to take back with us that the trolls have no use for. Dwarves are endlessly clever, even if a bit over focused."

The formerly finely carved tunnels had been crudely widened (and raised) leaving few remnants of their original construction. The tunnel eventually led to a room that had mostly survived the modifications as it had been large originally. In the middle sat a huge mother-race troll and, as if to prove that lineage, she was nursing six trolls at once. Astra noticed that none of them were trollkin despite 90% of all 'trolls' being born were of the stunted variety. Apparently, such castoffs lacked the stature to such good treatment!

Gnelessi spoke with the massive troll (who didn't stop nursing even for a moment) until an agreement was made. At a wave, Mankar piled all the lead they had in a village as a tribute. It was a small loss as it had little use to the humans but was greatly valued by the trolls. "Now entertain her to complete the tribute!"

The heroes looked at each other and then broke out in various dances. Their individually skillful gyrations were someone disjointed when view together but the Mother Race trolls seemed greatly pleased.

Mankar was soundly defeated in arm-wrestling by two trolls much larger than himself... one being the troll mother! Being flung into a wall didn't hurt as much as the fact that she continued to nurse the young trolls all the while. She rumbled another short phrase or two.

"Now for the competition of skills!" translated Gnelessi.

In the next contest, a troll throws knives that magically multiplied, injuring the heroes and severing Ryala's arm! It was only saved by Aud's quick reaction, replacing it as good as new. The head troll, nodded and judged that Aud's magic clearly won that round!

Then a massive troll performed a chorus of shrieks by selectively striking the heads of many carefully selected trollkin. The heroes, stunned, were easily defeated by this performance.

At last came the trading of gifts. A large wooden cage was presented by the trolls. Inside was a well-groomed giant blind cave... cricket?

Mankar scratched his head, "We have GOT to start carrying treasures around for situations like this! Does anyone have any ideas?"

They looked at each other helplessly until Aud held up a bar of soap. "Maybe this? We have no idea what they might like so..."

Mankar nodded, "Do it. Let's put our faith in Orlanth!"

The troll looked at the bar of soap, sniffed it, and took a bite, chewing it thoroughly. She spoke to Gnelessi who translated with a smile. "She's very happy with the gift! It tastes pleasant and polishes her tusks well. You have won the contests, my children! As a prize, all will be given... trollkin bed warmers to ward off the chill of the cave as they sleep."

All agreed, the next day, that the less said about that prize, the better!

-=-=- Next Day -=-=-

"So the ritual goes like this..." Gnelessi explained the symbolism and deeper meaning of each step in addition to the practical details. "...and that is why the most rotten gourd is the one consumed. Then, after the -- appropriate -- amount of time. The residue is placed in a sacred hole to start its growth."

When she got to the part where someone needed to eat the most rotten gourd, all other eyes turned to Ryala. After a few seconds, she realized what was going on. "Oh no. No. No no no! I ate the poop apple, I'm not eating this too!"

Mankar sighed, "No need. I'll shoulder this burden."

She breathed a sigh of relief! "You are my hero! I'm sure you'll be fine!"

-=-=- Next Day -=-=-

A troll shaman sucked the spirit out of the fetch bag and tottered to the altar with a mouth that seemed full of... something. Certainly the crazed look in his eyes and the fact that his cheeks bulged weirdly and glowed at times added credence to the belief he had SOMETHING in there. He quickly barfed it onto a premade skeleton puppet that quivered slightly and then grew still. The troll collapsed at this point, looking as if he had been grievously injured.

By comparison, Mankar's task was simpler, if no less arduous. He choked down, along with a few troll helpers, every piece of a terrible overripe gourd. It had already collapsed in part from the rot that beset it and the smell was none too pleasant! The 'results' had to be buried in the sunlight so the other trolls were very appreciative that they had a friendly human be the Seed Bearer for the ritual!

Once again, the less said about the rest, the better. Still, a stalk immediately broke ground mere seconds after the hole was filled and blessed so the trolls were pleased again. After completing the rituals (and a thorough bath), Mankar rejoined his companions.

Mantis nodded sagely, "So that's the ritual, hmmm..."

Mankar scowled, "Next time, let's find one that has less shit." A sentiment that Ryala heartily agreed to!

He turned to his elder, "Can you ask the Troll Mother if there is anything leftover from the dwarves that lived here that they don't need and don't want?"

After a short conversation, she nodded, "There are some things left in the Forbidden Hall."

Astra asked, "If it's 'forbidden'..."

The priestess shook her head. "Forbidden and forbidding are the same word in trollish. She said we are welcome to explore it and take whatever we wish."

Mankar groaned and stretched, "Tomorrow, though!"

-=-=- Next Day -=-=-

Unlike the outer doors, the portal to the Forbidden Hall was undamaged though well-coated with dust. As a testament to its creators, it opened easily revealing a long staircase leading downward into the mountain. Unlit torches of a strange design lined the passage as far as they could see.

"Anything that can scare a troll, might be a challenge. Let's check for traps before descending." Mankar ordered.

Mantis was the first to find something. "It's the steps. The first few move slightly and seem to be connect to something."

"The door didn't have a lock, why would they trap the entrance? There's something here that we're missing." He looked at the steps with a frown and then further down the dark staircase. After a moment, he stepped firmly on the first step. A long hiss could be heard, magnified by the passage and then there was a series of popping sounds and the torches all lit up in sequence from top to bottom!

Astra laughed. "Of course! What would be more forbidding than a hall that could suddenly light up at any second! Trollkin lack the brains to figure this out and the larger and smarter trolls couldn't fit in here."

"This bodes well, friends. If no one has been here since the fortress was taken over, then there may be treasure for the taking. We have permission to take whatever we want, so let's take advantage of that."

What they discovered was... unexpected. Wax golems animated by spirits? Mechanisms for serving liquors? And, to top it off, a mechanical puppet of wood designed to entertain the dwarven inhabitants!

Ryala looked at the puppet gyrating on the metal pole. "That looks like an elf, doesn't it?"

Mankar nodded. "Aye."

"Dwarves are a lot freakier than I thought."

"Aye."

Only Mantis was very enthused by the discovery. "This is brilliant! You must let me have this!"

"If you must. The spare gears of steel, though, will go into our storage. After I've learned to work iron, I'll make weapons and armor that will shake the world!"

"Yes yes yes, you do that."

-=-=- Epilog -=-=-

In the end, the doll and maintenance golems were donated to the Iluria temple as a holy relic and Mantis was quite pleased to show his lifetime pass to any Iluria temple. Ryala wondered aloud if he would wear himself to a nub but he ignored it. As for the large barrel of vinegar? Mankar pickled many cabbages in the vinegar brine and declared that they would be eaten with sausages some day.