My Big Fat Jewish Wedding

**My Big Fat Jewish Wedding** is the tenth episode of the second series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on the February 11, 2003.

## Summery

Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne decide to renew their wedding vows at a hotel on New Year's Eve. Kelly is to serve as flower girl, with Jack and Robert as ushers. Kelly objects to the fact that the ceremony will be conducted by a rabbi; although Sharon's father is Jewish, Kelly insists that a person cannot be Jewish unless their mother is (Sharon: "Excuse me, my husband is circumcised"). Ozzy is not at all enthused about the ceremony. Kelly and Sarah are less than impressed with Jack's latest female "friend," particularly because she once dated Jack's best friend.

Sharon catches the girl in bed with Jack, and later finds condoms in the room. She tries to encourage Jack to settle down and find a steady girlfriend, but he would rather juggle several girls because the idea of a relationship freaks him out. Ozzy and Jack have various body parts plucked, shaved and waxed before the wedding. Sharon recalls the couple's first wedding night, when Ozzy passed out drunk in the hallway.

Ozzy insists that he will not drink this time. Sharon recites her own vows, leaving Ozzy clearly touched. The hotel hosts a celebrity-filled reception. Sharon is especially excited about the presence of Justin Timberlake. She asks him to marry Kelly. Ozzy gets completely plastered, causing mayhem such as making out with Marilyn Manson. History repeats itself, as Ozzy falls asleep on a couch and Sharon laments that she has again been cheated out of her wedding night.

## Memorable Quotes

"*Ozzy and I are renewing our vows for with our friends and family.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*I'll cry and throw up, you're not Jewish and you're having a fucking rabbi renew your vows?!*"
— Kelly Osbourne

"*I'm not Jewish. My wife's got crucifixes coming out of her ass!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Fucking Madonna's Jewish, anybody can turn Jewish.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Jack, do you have pride? Look, you've got the biggest fucking unibrow in the world!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*I smelt your sister's armpit, you should too.*"
— Sarah

"*What the fuck's going on in this house? It's like a fucking brothel!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Look at that! A Fucking Condom! That's nice for your mother to pick up.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*I'm a man whore! I'm a she-bitch man whore!*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*No more pubic hairs!....No more public-woah!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I got a fucking 21 year old chest, look at that, no hairs!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*He hates coming out of his fucking house!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*My darling Ozzy. For 20 years, you've been my life partner. We've shared joys, sorrows, triumph and tragedy. Everyday with you in my life is a blessing beyond my wildest dream. Thank you for who you are, for all that you've given me and for all that we share everyday for the rest of our lives. I love you more than any words, vows or poetry could ever capture. I am privileged to be your wife and thank you for my babies.*"
— Sharon's speech/vow

"*No tongue! SHARON! HELP!*"
— Marilyn Manson, being kissed by Ozzy

"*I AM SURROUNDED BY LADIES! I FEEL SO HONOURED! I LOVE THE LADIES!*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*Please marry my daughter!*"
— Sharon to Justin Timberlake

"*Twice! In my life I get schtupped, and he's out!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

## Trivia

* This is the last episode to contain Ozzy and Aimee Osbourne's commentary.
* According to Ozzy, Kelly may be putting on an accent during the course of this show.
* During the wedding, the song Dreamer is played in an instrumental/orchestral.
* This is the first time Ozzy cries, he would later get tearful in A Farewell to Ozz.
* The girl at the end of the episode supposedly got fired from her job after this.
* Aimee Osbourne can be seen with her face unblurred on multiple occasions during the episode, once while sat down with Robert talking to her and briefly during the wedding vows standing next to Kelly in a close up.
	+ Interestingly, the official photo shoot on the DVD release shows Aimee without any censor.