Coffee Talk: Debut Episode

## Characters

* Bruce Wayne (1 Coffee - Black)
* Oliver Queen (1 Coffee - 2 Cream, 1 Sugar)

## Order

* Date: 1/1
* Table: 7
* Guests: 2
* Server: Betty

## Coffee Talk

* **Bruce Wayne:** It's goot to catch up like this, Oliver. We don't get much downtime from costuming these days.
* **Oliver Queen**: Yeah, it's been a while. [pause] We don't get much downtime from... our, uh, other halves.
* **Bruce Wayne:** Other halves? [chuckle] Nice way to put it. [slurp, pause, gulp]
* **Oliver Queen:** This is nice, though... [slurp, gulp] being "normal people" for a change.
* **Bruce Wayne:** Normal people? [chuckle] I don't think we qualify for that label anymore.
* **Oliver Queen:** [chuckle] Fair. [slurp, pause, gulp]
* **Bruce Wayne:** So, what do normal people talk about?
* **Oliver Queen:** Weather? Family? Jobs? Hobbies...
* **Bruce Wayne:** Fair... So how are things for the Queens of Star City these days?
* **Oliver Queen:** Oh, you know. Same old, same old. Making money, fighting for social justice, the usual...
* **Bruce Wayne:** How goes the fighting?
* **Oliver Queen:** Oh, I though we weren't talking about our other halves.
* **Bruce Wayne:** No... I meant the fight for social justice.
* **Oliver Queen:** Oh! [chuckle] Yeah, well, it's a never-ending battle, my friend. But we keep fighting, mostly because the alternative is too difficult to imagine.
* **Bruce Wayne:** Yeah, I understand. [pause] Though I sometimes worry you liberals take things a bit too far.
* **Oliver Queen:** ... [slurp, pause, gulp] Too far? How so?
* **Bruce Wayne:** I don't know. [slur, pause, gulp] All this talk of socialism and free handouts. It just doesn't feel right.
* **Oliver Queen:** Doesn't sit right with you? [scoff, chuckle] How many orphanages are you sponsoring? How many houses did the Wayne Foundation give away this year alone? [scoff, chuckle] You're a walking-talking handout?
* **Bruce Wayne:** I just think people should have a job.
* **Oliver Queen:** Says the orphaned rich boy who inherited billions...
* **Bruce Wayne:** I work hard for what I have.
* **Oliver Queen:** Please don't say "I'm a self-made man" or I'm going to flip this table.
* **Bruce Wayne:** I wasn't going to say that.
* **Oliver Queen:** [sigh] You and your conservative ways. You're too stuck in your ways.
* **Bruce Wayne:** Hey, I'm not stuck in my ways. I just believe in traditional values.
* **Oliver Queen:** Traditional values? Like what? Segregation and women not being able to vote?
* **Bruce Wayne:** ... [groan] That's not what I meant and you know it.
* **Oliver Queen:** [chuckle] I know, I know. I'm just giving you a hard time. But seriously, Bruce, I think we need to find some common ground. We may not agree on everything, but we can still be friends.
* **Bruce Wayne:** You're right... or at least right enough?
* **Oliver Queen:** Excuse me?
* **Bruce Wayne:** Who said we were friends?
* **Oliver Queen:** ...
* **Bruce Wayne:** ...
* **Oliver Queen:** God, I hate that. Don't do that!
* **Bruce Wayne:** Do what?
* **Oliver Queen:** Scare me like that!
* **Bruce Wayne:** Sorry... It was too easy. [chuckle]
* **Oliver Queen:** Ew, don't do that!
* **Bruce Wayne:** Now what?
* **Oliver Queen:** Stop!
* **Bruce Wayne:** Stop what?
* **Oliver Queen:** Smiling! It creeps me the [expletive] out.
* **Bruce Wayne:** Ha... Funny. [pause] Well, in all seriousness, Ollie-
* **Oliver Queen:** Ollie?
* **Bruce Wayne:** Isn't that what your friends call you?
* **Oliver Queen:** Oh, so we're friends, are we?
* **Bruce Wayne:** Fine - Oliver. [chuckle] As I was saying, in all *seriousness*, this is fun. It's good to be...
* **Oliver Queen:** Ourselves?
* **Bruce Wayne:** ... yeah, except this isn't the real me...
* **Oliver Queen:** [sigh] Seriously, Bruce, go see a psychiatrist.
* **Bruce Wayne:** I'm perfectly sane.
* **Oliver Queen:** You're a furry parkour enthusiast.
* **Bruce Wayne:** You cosplay as Robin Hood.
* **Oliver Queen:** !!! [gasp] That hurts!
* **Bruce Wayne:** Only because it's true.
* **Oliver Queen:** Yeah, well... Take it back or-
* **Bruce Wayne:** What? You'll beat me up? Bring it.
* **Oliver Queen:** No... I'll have my girlfriend fight my battles for me. [chuckle]
* **Bruce Wayne:** [sigh] ... [pause, chuckle] Fine, I take it back... if I can call you "Ollie."
* **Oliver Queen:** Deal. [chuckle, slurp, pause, gulp] So, with all that out of the way, how you been, Bruce?
* **Bruce Wayne:** I can't complain. As you've pointed out, I have everything a man could want.
* **Oliver Queen:** I saw your new car on FaceSpace.
* **Bruce Wayne:** Which one?
* **Oliver Queen:** ... [sigh] I hate you. [pause] The one last week.
* **Bruce Wayne:** The black or blue one?
* **Oliver Queen:** Why are they black or blue?!
* **Bruce Wayne:** Best colors.
* **Oliver Queen:** One is a color. The other is... the absence of color.
* **Bruce Wayne:** Are we really going to argue about this now?
* **Oliver Queen:** Did we ever stop?! [chuckle]
* **Bruce Wayne:** This morning?
* **Oliver Queen:** I meant since the nineties, but sure...
* **Bruce Wayne:** ... [chuckle] We should do this again sometime-
* **Oliver Queen:** I couldn't agree more.
* **Bruce Wayne:** -with other people, though. [pause] Check, please!
* **Oliver Queen:** Ouch!

## Trivia and Notes

* This is the first in a new ongoing series featuring characters meeting for coffee.
* Bruce is going to have a coffee with John Constantine in Coffee Talk: Bruce and John, and Oliver is going to have coffee with Hal Jordan in Coffee Talk: Hal and Oliver.