Underage

(cold opening, Arch Wizard Megumin is holding a meeting in the proposal room with everyone but Timmy)

Arch Wizard Megumin: I have called you all here today because it appears someone here is underage.

PolarKey: It's not me. Also, who put you in charge?

Arch Wizard Megumin: Shut it.

PolarKey: No, seriously. I'm the only person here without any authority besides Timmy. Oh, I remember when I was a content mod. Good times, good times.

Arch Wizard Megumin: The person underage is quite obviously Timmy.

PolarKey: Oh boy, here he goes assuming stuff again.

Arch Wizard Megumin: Well, I mean the underage detectors always detect something when he's relatively near plus he acts all childish and immature.

PolarKey: And Travis doesn't?

Travis: One day you'll learn to respect me! ONE DAY!

Arch Wizard Megumin: The point is that we need to go undercover to find out if my educated guess is correct. SpongeBot, hack into his FANDOM logs and see if we can get a date of birth. Obviously, it won't prove anything but we can use it in a lie detector test.

PolarKey: Sorry to interrupt you there but we don't have a lie detector.

Arch Wizard Megumin: Yes but YOU'RE going to make one. (everyone is shocked, theme song then cut straight back)

PolarKey:(laughs) THAT is comedy. You want ME to build a lie detector?

Arch Wizard Megumin: Of course. You built a robot, you can build a lie detector.

PolarKey: Once again, stop assuming things and I haven't built a robot in my entire life.

Arch Wizard Megumin: That's not what SpongeBot's database says. (everyone gasps)

PolarKey: OK fine, I'll tell you the truth. Remember when I left along time ago just to come back? Yeah, during that time gap I realised I had no friends. So I built SpongeBot to laugh at memes with me. Though he found out about a lot of the wonders of the internet himself and he became smarter than I originally intended. It wasn't long until he found about the SpongeBob Fanon Wiki and joined the HQ without telling me so I had to crawl all the way back to found out that he had became- a content mod! (starts to get angry) A fricking content mod! And let me tell you how mad I was-

Arch Wizard Megumin: You can tell us the rest of that story once you build a lie detector. Goodbye.

PolarKey: But (serious voice) Arch Wizard Megumin-

Arch Wizard Megumin: Leave.

PolarKey: (serious voice but sad) Fine, Arch Wizard Megumin. (leaves)

Timmy: Hey Polar, everything alright?

PolarKey: (still depressed) Not really,

Timmy: What's going on in there?

PolarKey: (still depressed) Meeting.

Timmy: Can I join?

PolarKey: (still depressed) The more the merrier. (he goes upstairs while Timmy enters the proposal room)

Timmy: Hey guys, how's it hangin'?

Arch Wizard Megumin: Oh, Timmy! We were, er, just gonna go looking for you. Yeah. Say, why don't you head over to the lounge and watch some anime? We have the whole series of Cory in the House on DVD!

Timmy: Nah, I wanna get down to business. (sits down) This chair is comfy.

Phil: The chairs in the lounge are even comfier though, Travis (censored) on them.

Travis: I had a boner that day.

Timmy: Are you trying to get rid of me?

Arch Wizard Megumin: (sudden) Meeting over. (everyone leaves going 'bla bla bla' and SpongeBot exits the SBFW HQ)

SpongeBot: Oh darn it! I'll need someone to install some turbo boosters if I'm gonna get to the FANDOM databases before noon. Though there is someone in the SpongeBob canon who can help me, though they've never specified an address before. But someone on Conch Street might know it. (heads off as we see Tig looking at a photo frame in the hallway)

Kelpy: Hey, what's up, Tig? I see you finally decided to come down. Hey, what's the matter?

Tig: Things haven't been the same around here without Luis. Why'd he have to leave?

Kelpy: I dunno, I-

Tig: WHY DID HE HAVE TO LEAVE? Oh, and Fanon, I don't know what's up with him.

Kelpy: Yeah but nobody really cares about him anyway. But cheer up, I'm sure Luis will come back some day.

Arch Wizard Megumin: I doubt it.

Kelpy: Hey, are you really counting on PolarKey to make a lie detector?

Arch Wizard Megumin: (laughs) Of course not, we have one in the basement we banned him from when he first joined. We just needed a way to keep him occupied. I can't stand him with his memes and pranks and- ugh. Kelpy, could you do me a favour?

Kelpy: Well, I have some free time before my appointment with Travis, (serious voice) Arch Wizard Megumin.

Arch Wizard Megumin: Great. Could you see if Ponyo's available to witness the lie detector in action? I'd like all administrators present. Also, that reminds me. What on Earth happened to Radio Guy? (cut to SpongeBot at SpongeBob's pineapple, they are at the door)

SpongeBob: Sorry robot, but I don't like talking to strangers.

SpongeBot: Then I, erm, I'm not a stranger...

SpongeBob: Oh! Why didn't you say so then?

SpongeBot: Can I just have Sandy's address?

SpongeBob: I'll just go get it. (goes inside)

SpongeBot: Hurry up or you'll be grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded-

SpongeBob: (returns) I've remembered the address!

SpongeBot: Great! What is it?

SpongeBob: It's- (address is censored by an announcer saying 'NAME AND ADDRES WITHHELD')

SpongeBot: Why thank you, your contribution is very useful for robots like me.

SpongeBob: No problem. May I ask why you want the address?

SpongeBot: Oh, you know. Just stuff to do with the fanon wiki. (leaves)

SpongeBob: (scarred for life) F- f- f- fanon wiki? (cut to SpongeBob at his computer, screaming) PEOPLE ARE WRITING FANFICTION ABOUT ME! Gary, this is horrible!

Gary: (honestly doesn't care) Meow.

SpongeBob: Gary, what are we going to do?

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Get revenge?

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Hmm... there's an address for some place called the SpongeBob Fanon Wiki Headquarters at the bottom of this page. (evil smile) I'm coming... (cut to SpongeBot returning to the SBFW HQ with his turbo boosters, he press the doorbell which sets off the opening tune of Owl City's 'Fireflies', inside PolarKey is returning downstairs with the lie detector, he answers the door)

PolarKey: Oh, hey, it's SpongeBot! You been out to do some more shopping?

SpongeBot: Nah, I had to find out Timmy's 'date of birth', remember? We're doing the lie detector test soon.

PolarKey: Oh, I was too busy working on this thing I actually forgot. You know, it's nice to see we actually still kinda get along.

SpongeBot: (short pause) Whatever. (walks past him)

PolarKey: Oh, er, OK, see ya around, buddy! (shuts door and walks towards Arch Wizard Megumin) Oh, (serious voice) Arch Wizard Megumin! I made the lie detector.

Arch Wizard Megumin: And I don't care.

PolarKey: But I thought you wanted it for the meeting.

Arch Wizard Megumin: That was just something to keep you occupied. Not all people in here like it when you're all like 'you would not believe your eyes' and when your like 'if ten million fireflies'. Sometimes, we just want a break from 'lit up the world as I fell asleep' and *cos they fill up the open air and leave teardrops everywhere'. (walks away)*

PolarKey: Oh, OK. Sorry you feel that way. Victory! He remembers the words! (puts the lie detectot down and re-opens the door) Guess I should get to work on my next doorbell gag. (cut to the meeting in which Timmy is questioned)

Arch Wizard Megumin: Are all administrators present?

Da Nerd: No, (serious voice) Arch Wizard Megumin. Ponyo's not here.

Arch Wizard Megumin: KELPY! YOU DAMN FOOL! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO BRING PONYO DOWN HERE!

Kelpy: You did and I tried to but she wanted to hibernate a little longer. And you do realise that you aren't the boss here?

Da Nerd: Also, you're kind of turning into Travis.

Arch Wizard Megumin: SHUT UP! Now, we are here today as we believe Timmy is underage.

Timmy: Me underage? That's unpossible!

Arch Wizard Megumin: See what I mean? Now, we've had many users here who have started off underage and have got away with it-

Tig: (enters the room but immediately leaves after the line) WHY DID LUIS HAVE TO LEAVE? WHY?

Arch Wizard Megumin: -But if you are underage YOU certainly won't. Now WE can't prove anything but this (puts the lie detector on the table) lie detector can. Your birthday on the FANDOM database is August 4th 2002, making you fifteen years of age. Is this the truth?

Timmy: Yes.

Lie Detector: (pause) Try again.

Arch Wizard Megumin: You're free to go.

Timmy: So you know I'm innocent?

Arch Wizard Megumin: We know your innocent.

Timmy: YAY! WHOO! LET'S HAVE PANCAKES! (leaves)

Arch Wizard Megumin: We made a mistake and we have to run from it. Any ideas for a distraction?

Kelpy: Hmm... I may have something. (cut to Kelpy holding a proposal in the proposald room) I SAY WE LEGALIZE NC-17!

Travis: Count me in! I have plans for my next episode already: Water Sex 2!

Timmy: He never learns.

Phil: You're talking to the wrong guy! Life in Bikini Bottom is getting way more dirty!

Timmy: (just realising the most obvious thing) Oh! That's why it's funny! Because Bikini Bottom is like the bottom of a bikini! So if the show's called Life in Bikini Bottom-

Phil: You are the dumbest person I have ever met.

Timmy: Thank you! (in the writing room, Arch Wizard Megumin is at his computer looking at the CCTV cameras n' stuff)

Arch Wizard Megumin: Yeah, there's still something being detected in that area. I just can't figure out what. Wait a second. (zooms in closer) Candy? There's candy in Timmy's pocket? Looks like another job for Travis... (fin)