Christmas Angel (GAM018)

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Christmas Angel*** is just a really good tv movie; great cast: you've got Kevin Sorbo, Della Reese, you've got Tamera from *Sister Sister*… it's just good stuff. Not to mention show stealing fifth grader Izabela Vidovic—look out for this girl, she is going places. Put all that talent together and you make an movie about Christmas, and angels, and cancer, and jazz music, you got a winner. It was a wonderful movie—must see. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a *terrible* movie, but it's great. It was great.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema in an effort to induce vomiting before the hallucinations kick in.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Okay, so I want to say: this is an *terrible* movie—this is a terrible movie. It's not "you deserve to get raped" or "if you abandoned your child but then make best friends with Jesus you should be welcomed back and your husband should change his religion", but this is a terrible movie, and I found the way into this film. The key into this film is, Della Reese—well first of all… okay, for those of you who aren't familiar with Della Reese, pause the podcast, take a moment, YouTube her, and listen to her beautiful, beautiful voice, because then she went fucking crazy—she got attacked by a bear, or something. She had an NDA, she had a near death experience (NDE), which means that… and you have two choices after an NDE: you go "Wow, I'm so grateful to be alive. Lucky me.", or you go "JESUS!" And she went full Jesus, and went on to star or be a huge part of the show *Touched by an Angel*, which is a crazy person show which somehow ran for years and years and years on tv. So whoever made this movie was like "We want to do *Touched by a Angel*." So, they wrote the script—it's *Touched by an Angel* but it's more Jesus-y, it's about an little girl and the angel is going to come and do presents—and halfway through legal walk onto set and they were like "Guys, *Touched by an Angel* still owns all those copyrights. We can't do this." And they were like "Uh, so who is she?", and they were like "She's a… a black… a black singer… who's… who has an accident… and then… the light's a machine! She's got a… it goes… and it turns into light…. and then she... uses her credit card to buy everyone presents? Yes, she has a shopping addiction. This is… \*groan\*" That's what this movie *is*. And then… look, if you watched the trailer that we watched, we expected an angel; I was promised an angel, not a sick black lady. If I wanted a sick black lady, I would go back to Meals on Wheels: I stopped, I started eating all the meals, I was let go. It's a long story, I don't want to get into it. But the truth of the matter is, I was promised an angel—it's still a terrible movie. I stand by it.

### **Notes**

* Check out Rebecca on her website, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or YouTube.
* Izabela Vidovic was great on Veronica Mars and Supergirl.

### **Jokes**

* Also during this class scene, Kevin Sorbo wanders in to tell them "God's not dead", but I guess they're too young, so he turns back around waits for the older kids. And he's acting very, very suspicious for an adult at an elementary school—I'm saying to myself 'This guy is going to get shot by an Oathkeeper, definitely. He does not belong here.' I want to plant a flag right now: Kevin Sorbo throughout the entire film—the *entire* film—behaves like a fucking crazy person. I thought it was going to be revealed that Kevin Sorbo was a murderer: he freaked out if he was around people; he always left last minute. If they opened up his Christmas wish and it was 'I hope the police don't find the bodies', his acting makes sense in this movie, but since they don't, it's *crazy*. I think at this point in his career he doesn't know how to play characters that don't find Jesus eventually, so because he didn't have that arc he was just like 'Wait, I'm not a big time businessman who's going to understand it's most important to be about Jesus?' 'Kevin, in this movie you're a doctor who helps people.' 'And then I learn that I shouldn't do that?' 'No man, you're always a doctor.' 'No one stays a doctor! I don't underst—I don't know how to get into this.' "(12:15)
* And then we get—of course—Joey's dad, the most stereotypical movie drunk. I wanna say though… I wanna give this movie some credit: the most stereotypical character in this movie was white. That's a new one; I haven't seen that in a Christian movie yet, but holy fucking shit this guy could not be—I was expecting his car to just be up on blocks. Big truck, check; five o'clock shadow, check; wearing coveralls, check; thermos of scotch, check; grease stains on the face, check. Also, what a terrible and dangerous message for children, to walk up to a dangerous alcoholic and be like 'Excuse me sir, can I get within arm's reach and tell you I know things about you? I know you hit children, but I'm assuming you won't hit *other* people's children.' "(1:10:38)

### **Interstitials**

* Explaining to Della Reese how *Christmas Angel* isn't *Touched by an Angel*. (9:10)
* "Miss Stella, what's a Puzzle in a Thunderstorm?" (1:02:52)

### **Tropes**

* Awkward Kiss
* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* Deathbed Prosthelytizing
* Disappointing Christian Celebrity
* Indoctrination of Children
* Magical Black Person
* Neglectful/Godless /Abusive Parent
* Not Christian Enough
* SEXISM!
* The Eli Bosnick Story

* The Eli Bosnick Story

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Film on YouTube
* IMDB