Miss Zarves

— "The Teacher With the Long Fingernail"

**Miss Zarves** is a character in the *Wayside School* books and cartoon. She teaches the supposedly non-existent nineteenth story of Wayside School.

## Appearance

    In "A Bad Case of the Sillies" and "The Teacher With the Long Fingernail," she is described as being a tall, thin woman with short hair, which is elaborated in the latter to be shiny and silky, smelling like strawberry shampoo. In "The Teacher With the Long Fingernail," it's described that her skirt and blouse are neat and trim, and that everything about her looks orderly, save for a long fingernail on her pinky that Myron cuts at the end of the chapter. She has been teaching for thirty years, likely meaning she is a middle-aged person, though her age remains unconfirmed, and it's implied that she hasn't aged for a long time. Although she never appears in the cartoon physically, her signature is seen in "Dana Checks Out."

## Personality

### Books

Miss Zarves is thought to be an urban legend by most of the students at Wayside School, and it is thought neither her nor her classroom actually exist. That being said, she and the nineteenth story have a handful of appearances, which do give her a definitive personality. To her students, Miss Zarves appears to be a very generous teacher, as she constantly hands out good grades. That being said, how accurate this may be is up to question, as Miss Zarves constantly hands out nothing but busy work, never lets students out of her class, and only gives a two-minute break every eleven hours. Allison theorizes that Miss Zarves may actually be the devil, but questions if she would actually be as such if she is so nice.

Miss Zarves lets students pace themselves with their assignments, but the assignments themselves usually take a lifetime, as in "A Wonderful Teacher" it is revealed that Virginia has been trying to memorize the dictionary for thirty-two years, and in "The Teacher With the Long Fingernail," she is revealed to make everyone in her class study the history of everyone who has ever lived. When Mrs. Jewls questions her about the latter, she simply remarks that she does not pick favorites. Although usually pleasant, it seems she expects her students to know everything, and she refers to Myron as "stupid" when he cannot tell her about a random person who was alive in 1801, though she does try to make sure the rest of the class does not laugh at him.

In "Time Out," more is learned about Miss Zarves's backstory. Apparently throughout her life, she has never been noticed, and is upset about spending so long remaining unacknowledged. She may have a high tolerance for enduring a constant life in her non-existent classroom, but finally snaps when a cow shows up to class. While she is able to put up with following along with others for a very long time, she can only take so much until she snaps and gives up. Miss Zarves feels the need to be appreciated for what she's doing, as otherwise, she is not sure why she should do it. She does enjoy teaching, and she loves the kids in her classroom, but oftentimes, it can prove a difficult task for her, being a teacher no one ever seems to recognize.

### Cartoon

Miss Zarves hardly appears in the cartoon, so little can be said about her. In "Dana Checks Out," it is revealed most of the things that attempt to enter her classroom do come out, and that she signs something on the way out. Otherwise, hardly anything is known.

## Relationships

### Mrs. Jewls

Despite Mrs. Jewls being a newer teacher and Miss Zarves not existing, the two appear to be well-acquaintanced. In "Calvin," Mrs. Jewls has Calvin deliver a note to her telling her not to meet her for lunch. Although there is no Miss Zarves, and for that matter, no note, Mrs. Jewls does not acknowledge this, treating Miss Zarves like a friend. When the two finally meet up in "The Teacher With the Long Fingernail," Mrs. Jewls greets Miss Zarves like an old friend, and remarks that the two need to meet up more often. Miss Zarves asks about Mavis Jewls, showing that she seems to know about Mrs. Jewls's personal life, though she does seem judgemental of Mrs. Jewls's teaching style, stating that she shouldn't pick favorites when it comes to studying historical figures, and focus on more than just the famous people.

## Appearances

For every chapter and episode Miss Zarves appears in, see here.

## Trivia

* Miss Zarves's name comes from the word "zarf," a metal container used to store a coffee mug without a handle. Louis Sachar specifically picked the name due to an experience he had playing the word game Ghost, a game where players go back and forth, trying to spell, but not complete a word. Since Louis knew few words that start with Z, he looked through a dictionary, and eventually found the word "zarf." Later, when playing with his brother, his brother started with a Z, and Louis continued with A. His brother asserted there was no such word that started with those letters, though Louis knew of the word "zarf." Years later, he based Miss Zarves's name on the word, trying to come up with a plural for the word himself, though the proper plural for the word is "zarfs."
* While Miss Zarves has been teaching for only thirty years, Virginia has been a member of her class for thirty-two.

## Gallery

"Forever is Never" (2004)"Forever is Never" (2004)"Time Out" (2003)"Time Out" (2004)"The Teacher With the Long Fingernail" (2020)
### Other designs

Peter Allen design (British edition, 2004)Ramona Bruno design (Italian edition, 2021)
## References

1. ↑ "Time Out"
2. ↑ "The Teacher With the Long Fingernail"
3. ↑ "Forever is Never"
4. ↑ Bookworks Hosts Louis Sachar