Grandpa HATES Disneyland

“Pull up your goddamn pants. I can see Pinocchio and he is telling the truth.”

**Grandpa HATES Disneyland** is a video by Brandon Rogers.

Link to Video

## Plot

Grandpa takes one of his grandsons to Disneyland. He starts out just telling stories but becomes more and more angry about being there as the video goes on, he finally caves in and has candy for the first time in 20 years, which makes him go on a crazy candy eating rampage. The video ends with Elmer telling Grandpa he’s too small to go on a ride, the camera pans back to reveal that Grandpa is a child. I have no idea what that means.

## Characters

* Grandpa
* Grandson (maybe Timmy)
* Elmer

## Script

\*Video starts with no footage, only the music of a merry-go-round.\*

\*Footage appears zoomed-in on Grandpa's face, which shows confusion mixed with disgust\*

Grandpa: When the fuck did we get to Holland?

\*Cameraman zooms out showing Grandpa in-front of the Cinderella Castle\*

\*Video cuts to Grandpa on a merry-go-round ride, on which he gets a memory\*

Grandpa: I met my first Valentime on this ride! Her name was Patricia! She's a ghost now!

\*Video cuts to Grandpa in a parking lot\*

\*Grandpa farts\*

Grandpa: Oooh!

\*Grandpa proceeds to point at a baby which he is standing near, on which the cameraman pans\*

Grandpa: Disgusting!

\*Video cuts to Grandpa at a Disney-themed store, with the cameraman being behind him\*

\*Cameraman proceeds to poke Grandpa with a candy-stick.\*

Grandpa: What the hell?

Grandpa: Put that candy back I'm not buying you all that mess-

\*Cameraman shoves the candy-stick into Grandpas mouth mid-sentence\*

Grandpa: Congratulations, you just triggered a Vietnam flashback.

\*Video cuts to Grandpa on another merry-go-round ride\*

Grandpa, touching his neck: Something just popped!

\*Video cuts to the cameraman pointing at a boy walking down a path\*

\*Grandpa, who is now smoking, tries to provoke the cameraman with gibberish which works, leading to the cameraman panning and looking towards Grandpa\*

Grandpa: Stop pointing at the ret\*\*\*ed boy!

\*Video cuts to Grandpa in-front of another merry-go-round ride, this time not being on the time\*

Grandpa: Alright, hold on now.

\*Grandpa proceeds to spit into the camera lens two times before wiping off his saliva with his sweater\*

Grandpa: Bingo!

\*Video cuts to Grandpa at a park point\*

Grandpa: Look at the whip he's got!

\*Video cuts to a mouse with a long whip and a red uniform\*

\*Video cuts back to Grandpa exactly as previously\*

Grandpa: That mouse own somebody!

\*Video cuts to Grandpa in-front of two cartoon-styled houses\*

Grandpa: Boy, pull up yo Goddamn pants!

Grandpa: I can see Pinocchio and he is telling the truth!

\*Video cuts to Grandpa at another Disney-themed store holding a Mickey Mouse ears hat\*

Grandpa: What am I supposed to do with this?

Grandpa: I can't shove this up my ass.

\*Video cuts to Grandpa in-front of a river smoking again\*

Grandpa: I wanna hang myself.

\*Video cuts to Grandpa farting in-front of a spinning ride\*

Grandpa: Ooh!

Grandpa: That was my last pamper!

\*A man in the background turns around confused by the sentence\*

\*Video cuts to Grandpa at a Disney-themed store again\*

\*Cameraman approaches Grandpa with a candy cane in a plastic packing which the cameraman shakes to alert Grandpa\*

Grandpa: What did I tell you about the candy?

Grandpa: This sweety gon' give you diabetes,

\*Grandpa proceeds to push the candy cane from the view of the camera\*

Grandpa: no!

\*Video cuts to Grandpa at a bathroom, trying to rush someone in a stall\*

Grandpa, while banging onto the door: Hurry up in there! Hurry up in there!

Grandpa, now looking and talking through the door crack: My son has to take a Walt Disney SHIT!

\*Cameraman is now on the toilet, but he misses the toilet bowl and the defecation lands onto the floor.

Grandpa: Goddamn it boy, how do you miss the bowl?

Grandpa: Don't worry, I got this.

\*Grandpa proceeds to push the defecation under the door crack, making a child scream\*

\*Cameraman pans camera towards Grandpa, revealing he is covering his ears\*

\*Video cuts to Grandpa at a haunted mansion\*

Grandpa: I'm not scared!

\*Video cuts to Grandpa running through a crowd of people\*

Grandpa: Out of my way, I'm a real grandpa!

\*Video cuts to Grandpa pointing at a boat-ride\*

Grandpa: I came to America on that boat!

Grandpa, now waving: I'm ready to go now!

Grandpa, climbing over the fence: Come on, let's go!

Grandpa, still climbing over the fence: They're gonna vote for Hillary!

\*Video cuts to Grandpa running past two Muslim women covered up\*

Grandpa: Oooh! A spooky ghost!

\*Video cuts to Grandpa at a Disney-themed store again, with this time Grandpa changing his mind\*

Grandpa, in-front of lollipops: I haven't touched a piece of candy in 20 years...

Grandpa, now with a grabber in-front of multiple containers with candy: Well, I suppose a little bit never hurt nobody.

\*Grandpa proceeds to stuff soft bananas into his mouth, surprising and shocking a woman standing next to him\*

\*Video cuts to Grandpa at a Star-Wars-themed store\*

Grandpa, pointing at lightsabers: They're selling dildoes to kids!

Grandpa, trying to stand in-front of the lightsabers and cover them up: Don't look at the dildoes!

## Cast

Brandon Rogers - Elmer and Grandpa

Gabriel Gonzalez - Cameraman

## Trivia

* This is the fourth video to evolve a character hating something.