A Very Own S.P.A.T. (Special Pranks and Tactics)

This is About Items that are Pranks.

## At the Store

* *[Elmo and Linus walk up to the Palace of Pranks.]*
* **Elmo:** Well, Linus, here it is, the Palace of Pranks, the greatest novelty shop. All the greatest pranksters shop here. This is where I got my gag, A Peanut brittle can. *[The scene shows a close up of the can of Peanut Brittle.]*
* **Linus:** Oh boy, Peanut Brittle--Gimmie!
* *[Linus tries to open the can.]*
* **Elmo:** Linus, wait, it's a booby trap, remember?
* **Linus:** Nice try, Elmo, but it's not gonna work this time. I'm gonna have some of your delicious Peanut Brittle! *[he opens the can and purple tubes pop out]* Where's the Peanut Brittle?
* **Elmo:** *[laughs]* That gets funnier every time you say it, Linus. Come on, let's go inside.
* *[Elmo walks off screen.]*
* **Linus:** Peanut Brittle?
* *[Elmo enters the Palace of Pranks and smells the air.]*
* **Elmo:** Ah! *[Linus enters the scene.]* Nothing compares to the smell of cheap plastic novelty items. *[An aisle is shown.]* Pranks, gags, and gross-out toys as far as the eye can see! *[He walks down an aisle.]* Isn't it everything I said it would be, Linus?
* **Linus:** *[in another aisle]* Hey, Peanut Brittle! *[Purple tubes appear popping above the aisle that Linus is in.]* Oh, darn it, not again!
* *[The scene only shows Elmo in his aisle. Elmo laughs. An old man named Pete enters the scene.]*
* **Pete:** Good to see you, Elmo. How's my number one customer doing?
* **Elmo:** Great, Pete. This is my friend Linus. He wants to become a prankster too.
* **Pete:** *[Walking up to Linus]* Well, pleasure to meet you, Linus. *[shakes Linus's hand, but Pete has a joy buzzer, so it shocks Linus. Linus screams and sucks on his hand. Pete laughs.]* That's your first lesson son, the granddaddy of all pranks. The joy buzzer.
* **Linus:** I don't get it.
* **Pete:** You don't have to get it. The prank is for the enjoyment of the prankster.
* **Elmo:** You see, Linus, Pete here is the master. I learned all I know about pranks from him.*[Elmo and Linus walk to the checkout counter and Pete is behind it.]* Ok, Pete, let's see what you've got.
* **Pete:** Well, this came in just this morning. *[shows package of gum]* Have some gum. *[Linus chews the gum but then spits it out.]* Ha! Tasteless chewing gum. Only $9.95.
* **Linus:** I don't get it.
* **Elmo:** *[Elmo takes out a dollar.]* What can we get for one dollar?
* **Pete:** One dollar will get you this fake gag dollar-- *[He takes out a fake dollar]* fool your friends into thinking you've got a real dollar.
* **Elmo:** What else have you got?
* *[Pete holds up a whoopee cushion.]*
* **Pete:** A whoopee cushion.
* **Elmo:** Nah.
* *[Pete holds up mushrooms.]*
* **Pete:** Poison Mushrooms.
* **Elmo:** No.
* *[Pete holds up slimes.]*
* **Pete:** Colored Slimes?
* **Elmo:** Eww! Don't you have anything good?
* **Pete:** Well, there is one prank that I've been saving for a real top of the line prankster. *[Shows close up of spray can]* Invisible Spray!
* **Elmo:** Wow, invisible spray!
* **Linus:** But I can see it.
* **Elmo:** Gee, Linus, just think of the pranks we could pull with this.
* *[Elmo gives Pete some money.]*
* **Pete:** Good choice. Now be careful with that stuff, boys. It stains clothes.
* **Elmo:** Thanks, Pete. *[Elmo and Linus walk off-screen.]*

## The Spray

* **Elmo:** *[The scene changes to show Elmo and Linus outside.]* Here it is, Linus. The ultimate prank-- invisible spray.
* **Linus:** What are we gonna do with it?
* **Elmo:** I know! We'll go spray the park bench and then sit on it, and when people walk by, we'll be floating in midair.
* *[They both think about sitting on an invisible bench, surrounded by Charlie, Big Bird, Grover, Peppermint Patty, The Inspector, and Snoopy.]*
* **Grover:** They're floating in midair!
* **Charlie Brown:** How do they do that?
* *[The thought bubble disappears.]*
* **Linus:** That's the ultimate prank! Good idea, Elmo!
* *[Linus gives Elmo a thumbs up.]*
* **Elmo:** Well, let's get started.
* *[Linus takes off his shirt.]*
* **Linus:** OK, I'm ready.
* *[Linus drops his pants on the ground.]*
* **Elmo:** Any particular reason you took your pants off?
* **Linus:** Well, that stuff stains clothes, right?
* **Elmo:** That it does, Linus, that it does. Good thinking. Here, hold this a second. *[Linus takes the can of spray while Elmo goes off-screen shaving his fur off. Linus hugs the can.]* Okay, Linus, give me the can.
* **Linus:** I think since spraying the park bench was my idea, I should get to spray it.
* **Elmo:** Linus, spraying the park bench was my idea.
* **Linus:** Yeah, but I said it was a good idea!
* **Elmo:** Give me that thing.
* *[Elmo grabs the can and he and Linus wrestle over it. Elmo accidentally sprays their clothes and they disappear]*
* **Linus:** Hey, the invisible spray works!
* *[a tour bus drives up.]*
* **Tour Bus Driver:** And on your right, if you look, you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of paint!
* *[The passengers and the driver laugh. The bus drives off. Elmo covers his lower half]*
* **Elmo:** O-M-G, Linus, help me find our clothes!
* *[Elmo pats the ground, trying to grab the clothes. Linus sprays Elmo's right hand and it disappears]*
* **Linus:** I gotta *hand* it to you, Elmo. You look kinda funny.
* *[Linus laughs and Elmo screams.]*
* **Elmo:** Righty, where are you? *[Linus laughs again.]* No one messes with Righty! *[He takes the spray can with his invisible hand.]* We'll see how you like it! *[sprays Linus making a hole in the middle of his body]* Kind of gives you an empty feeling, huh?
* *[Linus takes the can.]*
* **Linus:** Yeah. *[He sprays Elmo's upper left corner.]* I see what you mean.
* *[Elmo takes the spray can and sprays Linus's lower half.]*
* **Elmo:** No guts, no glory!
* *[Elmo laughs. Several bad puns later.]*
* **Narrator:** Several bad puns later...
* *[The scene returns to Elmo and Linus, now invisible. Linus shakes the can.]*
* **Linus:** Oh hey, I think this thing is empty.
* *[Elmo grabs the can and shakes it.]*
* **Elmo:** Oh, no, it can't be! How are we going to pull off the ultimate prank? Thanks a lot, Linus. You used the last of it.
* *[Elmo throws the can far away.]*
* **Linus:** Hey, I think I found our pants. Here, these are yours.
* **Elmo:** Oh, forget the pants, Linus. Let's get home and wash this paint off.
* *[Elmo and Linus walk off somewhere.]*
* **Linus:** Hey Elmo, do you know what time it is?
* **Elmo:** Oh sure, it's...half past invisible.
* **Linus:** Gee, it's getting late.
* *[They walk up behind Shermy.]*
* **Elmo:** Let's ask this guy. Excuse me sir, but do you have the time?
* **Shermy:** Sure. *[looks at his watch]* It's, uh, ten to three.
* **Elmo:** Thank you.
* **Shermy:** Don't mention it.
* *[Shermy turns around to notice there is seemingly no one there.]*
* **Linus:** Don't mention what?
* **Shermy:** Uh, who said that?
* **Linus:** Me.
* **Shermy:** *[screams]* Ghosts!
* *[Shermy runs away from them into a car and drive away.]*
* **Linus:** Hey, I'm no ghost! The nerve of that guy and his driving eyeballs.
* **Elmo:** Wait a second, Linus, my brain just hatched an idea.
* **Linus:** Lay it on me.
* **Elmo:** OK, we're invisible, right?
* **Linus:** Yeah.
* **Elmo:** If that guy thought we were ghosts, we could haunt everybody. Oh, it's the ultimate prank.
* **Elmo and Linus:** Whoo! High five!
* *[They give each other a high five]*
* **Elmo:** Let's go scare us some suckers!

## The Scare Attack

* *[The scene changes to show Sally Brown. The scene then shows her reading a book in a sofa. She hears a noise, which is Elmo and Linus's laughter. She checks to see what it is, but there is supposedly nothing there. She gets up and goes to her window.]*
* **Sally:** Huh? *[the outside of her tree is shown.]* Well, that's funny, I thought I heard voices. Huh? *[She walks up to a glass of punch on the floor.]* I thought I left that glass of fruit punch on the table. *[She walks over to a table with a lamp covered in garbage.]* And didn't I toss that old lamp out yesterday? And since when did I acquire all these portraits of Linus?
* *[Photos of Linus are on the walls and tables, the rug has his face on them. Sally turns around and sees Elmo and Linus covered in white sheets over their head as they wail.]*
* **Elmo and Linus:** We're ghosts.
* *[Elmo and Linus wail again. Sally laughs.]*
* **Sally:** I knew it was you guys! Alright, joke's over. Take off the sheets. *[She pulls off the sheets and notices there is nothing there. She gasps.]* It is ghosts!
* *[Sally screams. She runs to a backyard, enters a pink hovercraft. The hovercraft flies up out of her home, above the sky, past her home town. Elmo and Linus leave Sally's house, laughing.]*
* **Elmo:** Boy, we really scared her!
* *[Elmo and Linus laugh.]*
* **Linus:** Who's gonna be our next victim?
* **Elmo:** A better question would be, "Who isn't?"
* *[The scene changes to show Peppermint Patty's House where he is preparing to eat a piece of cake.]*
* **Peppermint Patty:** Pink lemon cake! *[laughs]* You will soon be mine. *[the cake gets eaten invisibly. Linus' face is covered in cake. He wipes it off and burps loudly.]* Oh! *[faces up]* Ghosts!
* *[Runs away. The scene changes to show Charlie Brown writing on paper at his house. Elmo and Linus takes the paper, making it look like it is floating in mid air.]*
* **Charlie Brown:** Huh?
* *[Elmo and Linus rip the paper. The two wail ghostly. Charlie Brown runs away.]*
* **Charlie Brown:** Ghosts!
* *[The scene changes to show Snoopy surfing. Elmo and Linus surf up to Snoopy, making it look like a surfboard is on a wave by itself.]*
* **Elmo and Linus:** *[Speaking in a ghostly voice]* Cowabunga!
* **Snoopy:** Ghosts!
* *[Snoopy screams while falling off the board.]*
* *[Lucy appears facing up.]*
* **Lucy:** Ghosts!
* *[Frieda appears facing up.]*
* **Frieda:** Ghosts!
* *[Violet appears, scared with arms on her head.]*
* **Violet:** Ghosts!
* *[Grover appears in a paper bag.]*
* **Grover:** Ghosts!
* *[Marcie appears holding a piece of toast.]*
* **Marcie:** Toast.
* *[Zoe appears in bed freaked out.]*
* **Zoe:** Ghosts!
* *[Elmo and Linus are laughing.]*
* **Elmo:** There's only one guy left to scare, and we'll have pranked everybody. The Inspector.
* **Linus:** Is he scared of ghosts.
* **Elmo:** We'll see about that!

## Invasion to the Inspector

* *[The scene changes to show the Inspector's home at night. The Inspector peers out of the blinds.]*
* **The Inspector:** Ghosts? Ha! I ain't afraid of no ghosts! Every detective knows a ghost won't come near a fella as long as he's wearing his spotted neckerchief... *[grabs a handkerchief]* And his leprechaun. *[shows the leprechaun]* And a bit of gold never hurt. *[shows a gold necklace around The Inspector neck that reads, "Luck"]* But to be on the safe side, I'm also wearing me pants in a melvin knot, *[his underwear is strung up with rope]* got me shivering timber brace, *[shows his ankles chained together]* and the hairs on the back of me neck are taped down. *[a strip of duct tape covers the hair. The Inspector is shown wearing a barrel and a headpiece with lanterns hung on it.]* And I'm all wrapped up in a suit of anti-ghost armor. And if none of this stuff works, I've got me secret weapon—the specter deflector! *[holds up a paddle ball]* So just try and get me, you ghosts! Bring it on.
* *[The lights black turn off. Elmo and Linus wail ghostly.]*
* **Elmo and Linus:** *[As they open the front door]* Inspector!
* **The Inspector:** Wha?
* *[Elmo and Linus toss over a table and barrel. They pick up a barrel and a table to make it look like they are floating.]*
* **Elmo:** Inspector, we've come to haunt you.
* *[The Inspector uses the specter detector by bouncing the stringed ball back and forth from the paddle board.]*
* **The Inspector:** Reste en arrière, I'm well-armed!
* *[Elmo and Linus moan ghostly. Elmo and Linus walk by with a barrel, making it look like it is floating by. The Inspector hits the ball faster. Elmo and Linus moan ghostly once again.]*
* **The Inspector:** I'm warning you!
* *[Elmo and Linus moan. Elmo or Linus stops the ball. Elmo or Linus then cuts the string.]*
* **The Inspector:** *[shivering]* Ooh!
* **Elmo and Linus:** *[Quietly]* Boo.
* *[The Inspector breaks out of his armor and screams.]*
* **The Inspector:** I gotta get out of here!
* *[He runs to the doors, but they don't open.]*
* **Elmo:** You can't escape, Inspector. We've locked the door shut.
* *[The door is held closed with a long strip of glue. The scene shows a window.]*
* **The Inspector:** *[off-screen]* You'll never get me!
* *[The Inspector tries to break through the window, but gets thrown back into a table]*
* **Linus:** Nice try, Inspector, but we replaced all the glass with rubber.
* **The Inspector:** Please, spirits, leave me be.
* *[Linus laughs.]*
* **Linus:** *[while The Inspector is incoherently begging for his life]* We got him good, Elmo.
* **Elmo:** *[while The Inspector is incoherently begging for his life]* Wait, Linus, I've got one more idea. *[to The Inspector]* You're going to pay, Inspector.
* **The Inspector:** *[shaking with fear]* Non, esprits, s'il vous plaît!
* **Elmo:** Pay!
* *[a Pink Panther doll floats in the air]*
* **The Inspector:** No!
* **Elmo:** *[high-picthed]* Pay! *[lights a match]*
* **The Inspector:** No! Don't burn me panther! *[He takes a bucket of water and throws it at the Pink Panther. The water drips on Elmo and Linus, making them reappear. They laugh, not noticing they're visible.]* Well, well, well, if it isn't those two.
* **Elmo:** *[wiggling his arms and legs like a ghost]* I know not these names of which you speak.
* *[Linus looks down and notices that he is visible.]*
* **Linus:** Uh, Elmo. Elmo, we're visible again. *[Elmo looks down with Black Rectangles, then he and Linus scream and cover their lower halves. The Inspector lifts them up by the back of their necks as they try to run.]*
* **The Inspector:** So you two are the ghosts.
* **Elmo:** We're really sorry, Inspector. Please don't chop us into little pieces and eat 'em.
* *[The Inspector puts them down.]*
* **The Inspector:** Hey, come on boys, I'm hip! I pulled my share of pranks when I was your age. Had me some laughs. That's what we did tonight, right? We had a good laugh. Come on, laugh with me. *[They all laugh.]* Uh, any particular reason you boys are naked?
* **Elmo:** Yeah, the invisible paint stains clothes.
* *[The Inspector laughs]*
* **The Inspector:** Of course it does. Well, you two better hurry home before someone sees ya nude.
* **Elmo:** Yeah, I think I'd die of embarrassment if that happened.
* **Linus:** Me too.
* **The Inspector:** Woo, now we wouldn't want that, would we? It's getting late now. You two pranksters better get going.
* **Elmo:** The Inspector, thanks for being such a good sport.
* **The Inspector:** *[off-screen]* Don't mention it.
* **The Pink Panther:** That's All Folks!