Death, Warm and Furry

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The Sinta Klaas Incident: Madame Spiderfly or How I learned to stop worrying and love thy crossbow...

**"The Sinta Klaas Incident: Death, Warm and Furry"** is Chapter 2 of *The Vagabond Chronicles* series. Our heroes, carrying on from the previous episodes events, are fighting the last one of the spider-like creatures they found in the village they were scouting. Teddy is inside a building taking cover, Bondo is standing amongst some barrels but isn't sure what they contain, Ziggy is ready for battle armed with this wrist mounted crossbow, and Rattigan is floating in the air after casting *Flight of Amar.*

## Summary

As we begin the episode, one of the spider-like creatures attempts to stab Bondo with one of it's pinchers, however it misses and pierces one of the barrels surrounding them covering it in kerosene that we now know was held in the barrels. Ziggy drops his crossbow and charges the creature with his Calvary saber yelling, "For Karl Franz and the Empire!". Unfortunately, his saber bounces off a bit of chitinous armor covering the creature's leg. Rattigan chooses to not sustain his *Flight of Amar* spell and falls rather cartoonishly from the sky, but does not take any damage. After landing he sees a little four leaf clover he likes, and that makes him happy. Bondo is standing knee-deep in kerosene from the barrels pierced by the creature earlier, he takes a swing at the creature with his axe and fails spectacularly. Teddy takes a pot shot at the creature from the window of the building he's in with his catapult and hits the back of the creature's head-like area causing the creature to lurch around and splashing about in the pools of kerosene covering it even more. Ziggy continues to slash at the creature with his saber, but is unable to penetrate its armor. Rattigan comes charging in with his tree branch staff with the intent of swatting at the creature; as he's running in he slips on the kerosene and flails wildly landing a lucky strike on the creature, killing it.

After the battle, Teddy climbs to the roof of the building he's been taking cover in to scout the area. He doesn't see anything specific, but hears some activity to the north. Ziggy retrieves his crossbow, and stalks towards the building Teddy is scouting from and peeks around the corner, but doesn't see anything in particular. Rattigan and Bondo also approach the building, but hang back behind Ziggy. Bondo has a torch with him and gets yelled at by Teddy. Having not been able to spot anything, Teddy comes back down to the ground and decides to venture further. He heads towards a temple-like building and is able to hear some activity from within. As he get's closer he can see that the temple is adorned with symbols of Taal, the God of Nature and Wild Places, and deduces this is a church of Taal. He shimmy's up to a window and sees two sleeping forms he doesn't recognize and a cooking spit over a dull not-quite fire with what looks like a body tied to it. Teddy *meows* at the others to join him.

As the group approaches, Ziggy has doused some bandages in the kerosene spilled all over and has wrapped them around three of his crossbow bolts. The birthmark on Rattigan's butt begins to warm and faintly glow as he approaches Teddy at the church. Ziggy suggests burning the whole village and Bondo agrees, but Teddy talks them out of it and so they decide to investigate inside the church. They approach the front doors, which have been busted open, Ziggy puts away his crossbow and retrieves his saber and shield in preparation for close-quartered combat. Teddy stays outside and sets up to cover the others from the outside window. As they enter, Ziggy suggests rushing in and holding the two sleeping figures at sword point and interrogating them at the count of three. Bondo ignoring him completely charges in right away. He sees the two sleeping figures are goblinoid creatures, which Bondo hates and so he *Frenzies* and attacks them. The goblins awaken and Bondo takes a few swings at one, but doesn't do much damage. Before the other goblin can react Teddy attempts to shoot it through the window, but misses. Rattigan's birthmark is still warm and he is feeling strangely calm as he enters the church. He's feels drawn to an altar at the front of the church and begins approaching it with arms outstretched. Bondo and the goblins, who are still battling, are so stunned they don't react as he passes. As he gets closer to the front of the church he pauses at the cooking spit where the man who has been tied there opens his eyes and smiles, he says to Rattigan, "My son, you have returned". Ziggy charges in with his saber and shield and barrels into the goblin not fighting Bondo, easily killing it. The second goblin, who has been fighting with Bondo, is the only one to witness Ziggy killing its brother and is so shaken he misses his next strike on Bondo. While it's distracted Bondo gets a solid hit on its side. Teddy, realizing he can't do much from the window starts making his way towards the front doors. Rattigan has begun untying the man from the cooking spit, and confused by the man calling him *his son* asks, "Daddy, is that you?". The priest collapses into Rattigan's lap, pats him on the cheek and mutters, "Oh yes, the prophecies said you'd be dumb as shit..." and tells him he must wear the amulet, before collapsing. Rattigan slaps him around a bit and the man makes a few grunts and farts, Rattigan gets the ingredients for *Petty Healing,* a piece of lint, and attempts to revive the man saying, "Come back to me, ya bastard!" while shoving the lint in his mouth and up his nose. The man grabs Rattigan's hand and passes to him an amulet. Meanwhile, Bondo has finished off the last goblin by chopping one leg off at the knee. Ziggy runs his finger up between Bondo's shoulder blades to the base of his neck calming him and bringing him out of his *Frenzy*. Teddy enters the church, and the party begins to hear spider-like noises approaching from the distance. Rattigan has placed the amulet over his head and immediately light bursts though the window behind him and washes over him. Rattigan himself begins radiating light, illuminating the whole room, he gets a warm feeling washing over him and he gets the great sense that he's here for a purpose.

## Quotes

* **Dr. Steve:** "Was anyone else listening in biology class, was it just me?"
**Neil: "**Just you, sir..."
**Dr. Steve:** "It was just me."
**Neil:** "That's why you're a doctor, and I chose the secure route of becoming an actor." -*after arguing about arachnid anatomy*
* **Neil:** "The gnome brought a torch to a stealth party." *-on Bondo having a torch when they're trying to be sneaky*
* **Neil:** *\*meows\** "I like that, that was really fun to do. In fact, I invite all of you to just have a little meow. It's really therapeutic... I'm not lying."
**Lads:** *\*assorted meows\**
**Neil:** "You know I regret this, I regret inviting you to meow..."
**Tom:** "... Let's get on with the game."
* **Dr. Steve:** "Are Gnomes like sharks? We can find... sharks have a special place on them where if you press it, it like makes them go catatonic and they turn upside down and go completely... That's what I'm gonna do with him. I'm gonna find his special place on the back of the Gnome and rub it and he's just gonna arch his back and...
**Jim:** "You're going to touch me in my special place?"
**Dr. Steve:** "I am." *-discussing how to get Bondo out of his Frenzied state*

## Trivia

* There was a joke made that Bondo wanted to be like MacGyver during the intro of this episode. Later it became canon that Bondo was inspired by Mack Iver, a character in a pulp-fiction series about a dwarf engineer that wanders around towns fixing things and helping out.
* The intro lasts around 23 minutes.
* This is the first appearance of the Amulet of Taal.
* This is the first episode that ended with a table flip, which has become a traditional way to end the episode.