RQG 76 - Hello Prague

## Content Warnings

Mass mind control, undead (Western-fantasy zombies)

## Summary

The LOLOMG attempt to stop Kafka's deadly necromantic ritual during a production of Don Giovanni at the Prague Opera House. Grizzop and Sasha navigate backstage politics, Hamid takes in the show, and Bertie takes on a Crinoline Elemental.

## Synopsis

The team starts looking around to see if they can find a way backstage to search for Kafka. Bertie and Sasha both don’t have a clue of where to go. Hamid offers the clothes he purchased in the previous episode to Grizzop and Sasha, but neither of them take it. Hamid walks into the auditorium, and Grizzop stares in disbelief after him, saying that they need to find the wizard before people die. Bertie is torn between going to help and going to watch the opera. He hears the sword speak to him and pulls the sword out, tapping it on his forehead to hear better (this is not how the sword works). The sword suggests that he should go watch the show but be ready to strike at any moment.

Hamid heads into the auditorium. Everyone is taking their seats, and it’s clear that they’ve spent a ridiculous amount of money on the production. Hamid finds someone who has a seat on the end of the row and trades his ticket with them, so that he can watch most of the opera house and get up quickly if its needed. From what he can tell, it looks like there’s a decent mix of magic users, nobles and regular attendees at the show. All of the boxes are full apart from the royal box and one adjacent to it, which has its curtains closed.

Bertie decides to try and persuade his way into a box seat instead of the stalls that Hamid purchased.

Sasha and Grizzop go up to someone and ask them to show them backstage and to the basement. It’s a long walk to the entrance to backstage, and Grizzop starts pushing at the man's back to get him moving quicker. Eventually they get there, and the staffer struggles to find the right key as the orchestra begins to warm up and start tuning. Instead of waiting for him to find the key, Sasha reaches forward and opens the door - it wasn’t locked in the first place.

Bertie is working on charming his way into a box. He tells one of the staffers that he has an invitation from the count to join him in the box, and when pressed, clarifies that its the count of Prague. The staffer asks for Bertie to hand him the invitation, and Bertie leans in close, saying that the cologne he has is the most expensive he could have bought (in reality, it’s the zombie guts smell that still hasn’t completely left). He doesn’t pass out from the stench, and Bertie continues to convince the man to escort him to the box. The overture of the opera begins, and the staffer agrees to escort Bertie. He leads him over to the box and knocks on the door; the countess opens the door, asking where her husband is, and Bertie says that her husband sent him ahead. She sits and Bertie sits next to her.

Sasha and Grizzop have finally made it backstage, and realize that it’s as efficient and effective as the rest of lower Prague. There’s not much chaos backstage, so they decide to do a quick round of the place and then find the basement. They look for a stage manager who will be able to tell them where the basement is, and find one who is directing everyone around. Sasha is a bit intimidated and asks someone who’s a bit quieter, while Grizzop goes right to the stage manager, who is flawlessly swapping between German, Czech, English, and French. Grizzop interrupts her and tries to get her attention, but she is barely giving him any time as she continues to give orders.

Someone else comes over - Sarah - and hurries off, leading Grizzop and Sasha off to a little nook, and asks what’s going on. Sasha explains that zombies keep appearing throughout Prague, and that there’s a rogue mage running around named Kafka that they’re trying to find. Grizzop says that he believes that this is the site of the ritual Kafka is starting, and asks if the opera house is built over a plague pit. Sarah immediately starts to find them what they need and help out.

Back in the auditorium, Aziza has begun to sing. As she does so, Hamid forgets to keep watch, focusing only on his sister. She’s completely spellbinding - Hamid is starting to cry a little bit at the beauty of her performance. Up in the box, Bertie is also enchanted by the aria, and the countess as well.

Back to Sasha and Grizzop: Sarah is finding a bunch of maps and information, and Grizzop asks where she would perform a ritual if she were an evil wizard, and she immediately says the flooded basements. Grizzop gives her a bit of a Look, but Sarah turns and leads them directly into the basements. Sasha asks if Sarah’s noticed anything off in the opera house, and Sarah says that it’s an opera house, so there’s always weird things happening. Sarah head back to the stage, and tells Sasha and Grizzop to pull a rope titled ‘assistance’ if they need any help. She warns them to absolutely not pull a rope titled ‘emergency’ unless people are about to die. They get ready to head down into the basement, and they try to open a very rotten, damp door. It’s wedged shut. Sasha attempts to kick it in, and her foot goes completely through the rotten wood as the door pulls away from the hinges and falls, taking her with it.

Bertie, sitting in the box with the countess, is entranced by the opera. The countess turns to him and, clearly flirting, starts talking with Bertie as he grabs onto his arm. Bertie doesn’t pick up on this, and the countess reaches up and begins to unclip his armor.

Hamid realizes that something fishy is up - he thinks Aziza might have been getting some magical coaching. It’s clear that everyone here is here for Aziza. He notices two points of interest: one, the curtains on the closed box twitch and a pale hand reaches out and grips the banister; two, Bertie is in a box with a countess, and she’s undoing his armor, and Bertie seems not to have noticed. Hamid slips out of his seat, heads over to the shadows, casts *message* on Bertie, and heads toward the box next to Bertie - the one with the curtain.

Sasha falls through rotten stairs and takes 10 falling damage, landing with a splash. The water isn’t that deep - maybe a couple of inches - but she has taken out the stairs leading back up. It’s still pitch black, and Grizzop looks through the doorway with darkvision to see a line of mannequins along the far wall and the water moving around where Sasha is. She gets up, and Grizzop notices a couple of small ripples coming from the darkness, coming to rest at Sasha’s feet and definitely not coming from her. Grizzop tosses a rope down to her, and Sasha starts to climb up. He ties the rope to something, and gets his bow out - there are a few more ripples in the water.

Bertie’s top half of his armor is completely off at this point, and the countess is now sitting in his lap; it’s been happening so slowly that he really hasn’t twigged it until now. She starts to work on his other armor, and Bertie tries to get out of the situation, saying that he’s married, and then pulls out the program and bops her on the head when she still doesn’t stop.

Hamid has made it up to the box level - he heads toward the box where the curtains were twitching, and gently opens the door. At the same moment, Bertie runs out of the box he was in as the countess throws his armor at him. As Hamid turns back, he sees a very intimidating man standing there, asking who he is, and Hamid realizes the man is not wearing trousers. The countess sees him as well, and says his name, disbelieving - he’s the count. He runs away, and the countess follows him, chasing him down.

Suddenly, an incredibly creepy voice comes from everywhere at once, and the entire party hears the voice say “Hello, Prague.”

## Quotes

**Grizzop**: "People are gonna die! What is wrong these people?! What is wrong with you?!"
**Sasha**: "They've got a disease called "posh"?"
―Grizzop tries to convince people to leave the opera house

**Ben**: "I'm gonna, like, put my hands on his bum and push him."
**James**: "Before, he had a mild head cold and you've accidentally healed it."
―Grizzop tries to get the usher to move quicker

**Alex**: "Sasha, if you want, give me a Disable Device check while he's going through it."
**Lydia**: "19+12 is 31."
**Bryn**: "You just touch it and it pops."
**Alex**: "Just as you reach out you go, "Um ... open, it's not locked.""
**Bryn**: "That was a roll so good you changed the universe."
―Sasha realises the door to backstage is unlocked.

**Lydia**: "Sasha notices that something else—and is *very*—the relief on her face at not having to start a conversation with a stranger ... it's, it's like a light appeared in the sky, and then was, y'know, wonderfully and happily was blocked out by the moon, creating a shadow that she could sneak through comfortably."
**Alex**: "As, of course, the actual stage moon starts arcing through the—"
**Ben**: "So, would you say you have a *social eclipse of the heart*?"
―Sasha and Grizzop investigate the opera house

**Grizzop**: "This might be the, uh, central point of a ritual that he's trying to destroy Prague with, so we need access to all areas, we need a map of the area so that we can expect anywhere that might have zombies. Do you know if this was built on a plague pit? *Now, now, now, now, now!*"
**Alex**: "She just freezes."
**Grizzop**: "Should I be talking to the stage manager?"
**Alex**: "*That* gets through. What has been a sort of *obsequience* (obsequiousness) and so on that has been up there just ... goes, she drops—she looks at you incredibly cold and goes, "*I'm pretty certain, that I can deal with this*.""
―Grizzop tries to get Sarah to get them the information they need.

**Bryn**: "Would you like to start making some bowling puns?"
**Ben**: "There's a really good alley called Super Bowl in Croydon that I've heard of, do you wanna start talking about that?"
**Alex**: "It's weird, Sarah who's been really helpful to this point suddenly twitches momentarily. She carries on but you get the sense that you're on borrowed time."
**Ben**: "Wait she just had an aneurysm!"
**Alex**: "Apparently so. It's a meta aneurysm, they're rare but deadly."
―More bowling puns.

**Grizzop**: "If *you* were to do a dark ritual trying to kill everyone in this building, where would *you* do it?"
**Sarah, immediately**: "Flooded basement."
**Grizzop**: "Okay, right! Good to know!"
―Grizzop tries to figure out where Kafka will be conducting his ritual.

**Alex**: "At one point you walk past an open doorway and see there's actually another theatre in there. It's small, it's kind of pokey, but there's a genuine 'nother theatre in there—"
**Bertie**: "You mean the theatre's pregnant?!"
―Bertie attempts to find better seats at the opera.

**Sarah**: "People dress up in masks to go have romantic ... trysts, someone else is probably planning to assassinate the lead oboist. It’s *theatre*, that’s just how it is. Just imagine a den of thieves, now dress it up nice, that’s what this place is."
**Sasha**: "That’s not what a den of thieves is like…"
**Sarah**: "Oh, sure like you’d know."
**Sasha**: "Oh, okay. We’re just less socially adept. I’ve never had a masked tryst!"
―Sasha has a different background then most.

**Sasha**: "I’ve never planned to assassinate a soprano either."
**Grizzop**: "There could be a good opera about that."
**Sarah**: "If you’re gonna assassinate a stage manager let me know."
**Grizzop**: "Right, well, I’ll keep that in mind."
**Sasha**: "I’ll let you know my rates."
**Grizzop**: "Hang on a—no…later."
―Grizzop and Sasha talk to Sarah

**Grizzop**: "Can you ... see in the dark?"
**Sasha**: "No ..."
**Grizzop**: "Right, um ..."
**Sasha**: "But I have ... nothing of use."
―Grizzop and Sasha investigate the basement.

**Alex**: "Bear in mind that you are in an opera that's going on."
**James**: "Yes, uh, well, he's doing this, I mean he's—"
**Bryn**: "*Sotto voce.*"
**Alex**: "Then be *sotto voce*."
**Lydia**: "We can do that now."
**Alex**: "Look at the technology."
―The opera has begun.

**Alex**: "I'm cutting to Hamid. You eventually come to, give me a Knowledge (Arcana)."
**Bryn**: "Is my sister a Bard? Do I have to disown her?"
―Hamid watches Aziza perform.

**Alex**: "She might have been getting some magical coaching, you've heard of it. I mean sometimes it has to happen, y'know, the great master *autotune* (pronounced like ot-o-tune) will uh, occasionally, y'know, tweak—"
**Bryn**: "Get out. Get out. That's worse than every single bowling pun put together."
―Hamid realises that Aziza has magic.

**James**: "Bertie, he, he picks up—he's got a rolled up newspaper in his bag, just bops her gently on the nose, "No.""
**Alex**: "She, she just kinda stops and goes, "Ugh.""
**Bryn**: "It's not a newspaper it's the program."
**Bertie**: "Don't make me give you a spritzing!"
**Countess**: "Oh please do."
―The countess attempts to seduce Bertie.

**Lydia**: "Wait, wait, wait, also someone's been in a box in an opera and has had cause to check if the door locks, Bryn!"
**Alex**: "I always suspected."
**Ben**: "You countess, you."
―The countess attempts to seduce Bertie.

"The necromancer has no sense of the theatrical, and frankly should have been in this box, and I will not be participating in any more of his evil plans!"
―**Bryn**
## Dice rolls and Mechanics

Sasha rolls a knowledge local to make it around the opera house: 13.

Bertie rolls knowledge nobility to find their way around the opera house: 9.

Hamid rolls a perception check: 29.

Sasha rolls a disable device check: 31.

Bertie makes a diplomacy check: 17.

Bertie makes a knowledge nobility roll: 13.

Grizzop makes a perception check: 25.

Grizzop makes a diplomacy check on the stage manager: 16.

Bertie rolls a will save: 14.

Sasha makes a strength check against the door: nat 1.

Bertie makes a perception check: 2.

Hamid rolls a knowledge arcana: 14.

Hamid makes a perception check: 18.

Grizzop makes a perception check: 16.

Hamid makes a stealth check: 11.