Off Duty

Hello there Kiddies.  I've got a tale that's rather THE CREAM OF THE CROP, or in this case, THE SCREAM OF THE COP ha-ha!  This DRAMA OF DREAD is named...

A cop was driving his cop car in the afternoon of a winter day back in 1971, out, in San Fransciso, California.  He passed groups of teenage hippies on sidewalks, standing together, smoking cigarettes.  Seeing them, the policeman muttered to himself: "freakin' hippie addicts.  Crazy city!".  The cop drove on and saw an old man in an alley.  He parked his patrol car, got out and strolled back into the alleyway.  "Hello Officer, may I help you in anyway?" the elderly man asked the policeman.  "Hello sir.  May I ask what you're doing in this alley?" he responded.  "Oh, just having a drink of gin sir.  I live in that apartment up there" the old man told him, holding a bottle of gin and pointing up, to an apartment in the building her stood beside.  "I see.  You sir are the kind of scumbag who ruin this city of San Franscisco here with your drinking in alleyways like these!" the cop meanly insulted him.  "I'm gonna rid this city of you!" he informed the old man of and shot him to death with his gun.  "Idiot" the policeman muttered and took off.

That night, the cop sat in a police station at a desk, smoking a cigar and reading a Tales From The Crypt comic book.  "Evening, Terry, everything going okay tonight so far?" another cop exclaimed to him and wondered, as he came into the station.  "Evening Bruce.  Yeah, it's been a regular evening" Terry answered him.  "Good.  I did get a call about the body of an elderly man that was found in an alley outside his apartment today.  He seems to have been shot.  Poor old timer" Bruce told Terry, explaining.  "Really?" Terry inquired.  "Yes.  Killer is still at large.  It was around 3:25 p.m. that his body was discovered" Bruce added.  "Oh, I was off duty during that time of course, Bruce" Terry said, smoking away on his cigar.  "Well, goodnight Terry.  Have a good night shift at the station here" Bruce wished him.  "Uh, thanks, you too, Bruce.  Goodnight" Terry replied and Bruce walked out of the police station.  During the night, Terry drank a cup of coffee, and wandered around the station.  He glanced out a window, seeing a shadowy-figure stumbling on the sidewalk towards the police station.

Terry sat back down at his desk and the person came in the police department.  "Good evening, sir, I'm Officer Terry.  What seems to be the problem?" Terry introduced himself as, then asked the figure in the shadows of the police department.  "Good evening Officer Terry.  I indeed have quite a problem sir.  I came from the morgue at the local hospital.  I was so hungry.  I-I ate my face off officer!" the man complained in an old man's voice.  "What sir?!?" Officer Terry responded in shock, aiming his gun at the individual.  "You are just another one of those psychos like the hippie addicts and the ones who drink wherever in this city pal" Officer Terry insulted the person.  The person came partially into the light of the place.  He was a living-dead zombie, with his rotting-nose-hole, eye-sockets and partial-skull exposed.  Officer Terry screamed in horror and shock at the zombie's partial-skull which was red.  "It is I, Officer Terry sir.  The old man who you shot to death earlier today!" the zombie muttered to him, stepping fully into the light.  The corpse of the elderly man also had the flesh and muscles of his hands missing, exposing red boney ones, which the zombie slammed on Officer Terry's desk.  Officer Terry screamed, firing his gun at it, shooting the zombie in its white, buttoned-down collared-shirt.  "You fool, Officer Terry.  I am dead!!" the partially-skeletal zombie of the old man croaked.  "I also had to eat my own hands because I got so very hungry, and now I am still hungry, so I'm going to eat your face, officer!!" the zombie croaked to him.  "NO, NO, NO!  I WAS OFF DUTY TODAY!  STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!!" Officer Terry screamed at the living-dead corpse.  The zombie got the cop into a corner, as it came close to him, in its white dress-pants and black overcoat.  The partial-skeleton zombie with its straight, white hair attacked Officer Terry, biting into his right cheek, writhing and chewing, as the policeman screamed more loudly.  The lamp on the desk went out, and as the sounds of ripping-flesh were heard within the now dark police department, the screaming fell silent.  The lamp flicked back on, and the dead body of Officer Terry was lying head down on the floor.

Looks like Officer Terry had to finally FACE IT when the poor zombie SLAYED HIM A VISIT to have a FACE OFF hee-hee!  It was to bad that the cop took a SHOT at it earlier that day, because the zombie of the old man had to get rather NOSEY with him.  Talk about having a bit of TONGUE IN CHEEK HUMOR aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.