Chapter 51

So much drama has befallen Akira lately, that she declairs that it's getting to the point that she can't handle it anymore. Rumi and Aoi try to offer encouragement.

## Features of This Chapter

### Transition Milestones

Akira wails that she is so dissappointed that she was not born a girl. Quite the opposite of when she was in the past content to be a bratty boy.

### Relationship Evolution

With Erika going into an emotional meltdown, that really puts a strain on Akira's relationship not only with Erika, but with the other girl friends, too.

### Lessons Learned

Akira learns to depend on your friends for help and encouragement, instead of being miserable by yourself.

ORE GA WATASHI NI NARU MADE ( UNTIL I BECOME ME )

CHAPTER 51 OF THE MANGA

(Part 4, and the Conclusion, of the Unexpected Love Confession Story Arc)

## Previously

At the Summer Festival, not only did Shouma socially manipulate matters so that Akira and himself would be alone in the crowd as a couple, but toward the end of the festival, out in the parking lot, Shouma did a Love Confession to Akira. This took Akira quite by surprise, however, she declined. This because Akira is unsettled about who she is romantically attracted to, boys or girls. About a week later at school, Erika, who did a Love Confession to Shouma and was rejected, asks Akira to follow her to the girl's restroom, where they could talk privately. This Akira does. Erika pours out her heart's concerns, as Akira is again surprised at what is being said.

## This Chapter's Story

Inside the girl's restroom at school, Akira and Erika are all alone. Erika continues to have a heart-to-heart talk with Akira, mostly involving Shouma and various romantic aspirations. Erika wonders out loud if she is at 'the bottom of the barrel' as regards her social standing with Shouma and others. She goes on to confess that it was hard on her when she found out that Shouma was not all that interested in her. Ekira was also hurt when she heard that Akira declined the Love Confession, as Erika acknowledged to herself that Akira stood a better chance of dating Shouma than she did. Erika begins crying in front of Akira, making Akira all the more upset and confused.

Early that evening, in her bedroom and laying on the bed, Akira tries to piece together all that has recently happened. Mom comes and offers watermelon slices, or at least water, but Akira refuses the treat. She squirms in bed, telling herself that she will end up wrinkling her school uniform. Soon, Akira's iphone falls from the bed to the floor. Akira retrieves it, and looks at a picture saved on the phone. Akira recalls what happened toward the end of the school day. She was with Rumi and Aoi, when Chika, the twin tailed girl, comes into the classroom and announces to the three that Erika is leaving school right now, as she is so emotionally

    distressed and upset right now. Akira is almost brought to tears over knowing that. Chika says that she will go with Erika, so that she is not alone in such trying circumstances. Right after Chika leaves, three boys, Yuto, Kazuki, and Shouma come over to where the girls are. Shouma, very noticeably as he goes by, puts his hand over his eyes, so that he does not have to look at Akira. Akira is 'cut to the heart'.

Akira wails that she is coming to the point that she 'can't take it anymore' regarding the drama that was brought upon her. Rumi's sooths by telling Akira that what has been happening is not her fault. Just then, Shion, Kokoa, Natsumi, and Kanae seek out Akira. Shion speaks for the group, telling Akira that the Love Confession must have gone horribly wrong. Yet, she is surprised and encouraged that Akira has been doing as well as she has been under the circumstances. Paradoxically, Shion next remarks that Erika's emotions snapping like that makes her look selfish. Natsumi is offended by that comment, as Rumi tries to calm down and mediate the vocal 'hissy fit' that insues. Akira is sorta 'left out in the cold' as the other girls gossip on and on about Shouma, and everything else.

Now sitting on the floor with her back propped up by the bed, Akira is looking at another picture; the picture of herself and the others at the Summer Festival. Akira falls into a funk, as her thoughts spiral downward toward despair. She remarks to herself that what Shion said was unnerving, and she doesn't know what her standing with Shion is, or will come to be. Akira feels that she has done some ill-mannered things to Shouma in the past. Had she been alert and more careful, there is a good chance that Shouma and Erika could have gotten together. She wonders why she said what she did to Erika, both in the past, and in the restroom today. Akira now falls into self-condemnation (see begins to cry, with the tears dripping from her cheeks and landing on the face of the iphone). She tells herself that from the beginning (when she was changed from boy to girl), she has been making many social mistakes all along. She has ruined her chance to be a proper and well-liked girl. Akira drops her wet iphone on the floor, and softly, yet bitterly, cries all alone.

After a while, there is a knock, knock on her bedroom door. Then comes the voice of Rumi. She says that Aoi is with her, and she brought some fireworks that she got at the Summer Festival. Want to go out and shoot them off ? Akira does not immediately respond. She is still depressed, as she tells herself that she is a mess, and does not want anyone to see her now. Why would those two want to have anything to do with the miserable likes of me ? I am only a nuisance to them ! However, something comes to Akira's mind that jolts her. Something that Erika said to her in the restroom---

"....if someone like you thinks that you can....."

The memory of this possible insult snaps Akira out of her funk. She repeats the quote in her mind---

".....someone like me......"

If someone like me would ignore how my friends feel, regardless of how I feel, wouldn't that make me the worst person on earth ? Akira gets up and reaches for the bedroom door knob. Opening the door, immediately Aoi puts the mask of the male rock star that she bought at the festival, onto Akira. Conveniently, with the mask on, no one can see Akira's wet and redden face, and puffy eyes. She goes outside with Rumi and Aoi following. Mom and Grandma join the little group outside to light up the fireworks. Akira thanks everyone for their concern. Akira then confesses about a goal that she had when she was much younger (when she was a boy). The goal was to be seen as a Hero. Strong enough to take on any bad guy and prevail. Rumi remarks that knowing Akira's secret desire makes her so very happy ! Rumi goes on to make a rather profound statement. She earnestly tells Akira that if she, Akira, ever has a secret to tell her, no matter what it is or how bizarre it may seem, she, Rumi, will lend an ear, and hear her out. Never will Rumi hate or despise Akira for confessing a personal secret about herself. Hearing that, Akira slowly removes the mask, so that all see her for who she is and how she is feeling right now. Akira then passionately states that all of you have been so kind to me (many more people are brought to Akira's mind right now, including Nurse Okabe, her former teachers, and many others). How can I ever repay that kindness ? Again, Akira is almost brought to tears, but tears of joy this time !

## Chapter Lookback, Commentary, and Opinion

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