The Zootopia King- Part 17: The Madness of King Eddy

*Boris:*

*Nobody knows the trouble I've seen*

*Nobody knows my sorrow*

Eddy DeEzdude:

Pu-leez, Boris, I hate those kinds of songs!

Try one with more...enhance-y.

Boris:

Fine.

*It's a small world after all-*

Eddy DeEzdude:

Anything but that!

Boris:

Fine.

*I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts-dingly, dingly-*

*Here they are, they're standing in a row*

*Eddy DeEzdude:*

*Bom bom bom*

*Eddy DeEzdude and Boris:*

*Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head-*

Boris:

Oh, I wouldn't have to do this if Mr. Fox was alive.

Eddy DeEzdude:

**WHAT DID YOU SAY!**

Boris:

Zilch.

Eddy DeEzdude:

**NEVER, EVER, MENTION THAT NAME IN MY PRESENCE! FOR I AM THE KING!**

Boris:

Sorry, sire.

Rachel Rivera and Merlin Sheackie Znale:

Hey, boss!

Eddy DeEzdude:

Oh, what is it this time?

Merlin Sheackie Znale:

You said there'd be plenty 'o' food in Zootopia. But there's nothing!

No food, no water-

Rachel Rivera:

No gossip magzines, this is torture!

Eddy DeEzdude:

Just **LEAVE!**

Sheezi:

(wimpers)

Eddy DeEzdude:

Shut up, Sheezi, and get outta here!

Rachel Rivera:

(distance) We're out!

Eddy DeEzdude:

Boris. Why am I not loved?

Boris:

That's obvious, sire. It's because you've turned Zootopia into Wastelandtopia. The herds have migrated, the Lionesses have to overhunt, there isn't enough water to fill half of a warthog's mouth! Outlander-Canines are prancing around like they own the place!

Eddy DeEzdude:

But there's something missing. What is it?

Boris:

Your chance on reality! Do something before Wastelandtopia becomes extinct! Now if Mr. Fox were alive-Gah!

Eddy DeEzdude:

Mr. Fox, Mr. Fox, I'm sick to death of him! Now what did he have that I don't have?!

Boris:

Nothing. Nothing at all, sire, except a few, minor things.

Adoring subjects, respect of your species, a loving family, a devoted queen, shall I go off, sire?

Eddy DeEzdude:

A queen! Yes! I need a queen! We'll have pups! Little Eddies running all over the place!

adult Judy Hopps:

Eddy?

Eddy DeEzdude:

Ah. Judy. Your timing couldn't have been more perfect. DO come in. That'll be all, Boris.

Boris:

Uh...don't you think I should stay?

Eddy DeEzdude:

**THAT WILL BE ALL.**

Boris:

Give a squeak if you need anything.

Eddy DeEzdude:

Come on, Judy. Come a little closer. I won't bite.

adult Judy Hopps:

Eddy, it's chaos out there, and someone has to do something.

Eddy DeEzdude:

Judy Hopps...my have you grown?

*She's got those assets feminine*

*I have to make her mine*

*Nobility in every gene*

*She has to be my queen*

*Come, sweet Judy, it's written in the stars of a beddy's!*

*We'll create a host of little Eddy's!*

*Tell me I'm adored!*

*Tell me I'm adored!*

Oh. Judy-Judy-Judy. You have no choice. One way or another, you will be my queen.

Eddy DeEzdude:

As for being king, I declare-

I choose Judith Hopps as my queen!

adult Judy Hopps:

And I reject you.

Eddy DeEzdude:

You have no choice. **I AM A KING! YOU MUST DO AS I SAY!**Oh...rejection, despised? You're about to see even more!

*It's been time you've been all reintroduced to*

*Your rulers, so they can thrive*

*Perhaps not the kind you've been used to*

*But certainly gained for alive*

*Outlander Canines:*

*(laughing evilly)*

*We'd like to assure you no fooling*

*We hope that we'll be eating more than a bean*

*Now's our rebirth for ruling*

*If only our ancestor's were seen!*

*Eddy DeEzdude:*

*So prepare for the stunning rebirth*

*The power, will return to you at last (la la la!)*

*Only blackness in the sky*

*Darkness even way up high*

*I will be so very sly*

*Goodness, bye-bye!*

*The Outlander-Canines*

*And me taking the pines*

*And I'll have only mirth!*

*As if or for anyone dared*

*Be Prepared!*

*Yes, as is of for anyone dared*

***Be Prepared!***