Richard Asquith

Richard Muriel Asquith was Commissioner of the CLPD (City of London Police Department) and served as a minor foe to Rabe Maniels during his first attempt to take over the world. He was the identical twin brother of General R. Asquith.

"You're still only assistant commissioner Rabe don't ever forget that." -Asquith threatening Rabe Maniels to keep in line.

## Overview

Asquith was commissioner of the CLPD and was in charge of the entire London police force. Unlike his assistant commissioner Rabe Maniels, Asquith was not corrupt and was disgusted by Maniels' corrupt actions such as capturing Rodger Lampton. He was also the identical twin brother of General R. Asquith. Ironically, both men were killed after getting involved with Rabe Maniels and his schemes for world domination.

## Background

Just like his twin brother General Asquith; little is known about Richard Asquith's childhood or adolescence; however it is known that Richard was the younger twin having been born exactly twenty minutes after his brother. One time, Richard crashed his car into a ditch which cost him his license for six months. When he applied for the police force; he lied about the incident on his application form. In the mid to late 1990's, Asquith joined the London Police and he climbed up the ranks very quickly. By Autumn 2008, he had risen to become Commissioner. His first action as Commissioner was to hire a man named Rabe Maniels as a new officer not knowing that ten years later Maniels would end up having him murdered.

## The My Friends Tigger & Pooh Incident

In October 2008, a lost episode of My Friends Tigger & Pooh hit the streets. Asquith dispatched a SWAT team to investigate. The team found nothing, and Asquith later dismissed the events as a hoax at a press conference. Unbeknownst to Asquith, Rabe Maniels had been the one to make the episode with the help of his two best friends and partners in crime Wilfred Mott and Johnny Cornwall. He also didn't know that the trio had ensembled a gang of hard criminals to aid them in creating lost episodes. The investigation of the episode was eventually withheld, and Asquith later dismissed it in a press conference as being no more than an elaborate hoax. Over the next few years, Maniels began to rise through the ranks of the department eventually being promoted to the rank of Assistant Commissioner in 2015. Maniels was promised the top job itself once Asquith retired.

## The Maniels Problem

Ten years later in December 2018, Asquith was approached by Lazarus Marmite and his gang. The gang told Asquith the truth about Rabe Maniels and his criminal ways. They also told Asquith that Maniels led his own gang of hardened criminals and was plotting something sinister. Asquith ordered his secretary to bring Maniels and his friends to see him.

## Death

Asquith berated Maniels and his friends for their criminal activities. He even suspected Maniels was responsible for the kidnapping of Rodger Lampton which is later proven true. Asquith then went on to announce his intention to remove Maniels from his senior status in the department acting under the emergency protocols. He may have also intended to arrest Maniels for his criminal ways. At this point, Maniels did a funky dance which caught Asquith off guard. While he was caught off guard, Alan Johnson appeared from behind Asquith and then proceeded to strangle him to death with a garrotte wire. On Maniels' orders, Johnson dumped Asquith's body in the swamplands in order to make look a suicide. With Asquith dead, Maniels became commissioner of the CLPD.

## Aftermath

Maniels was eventually defeated by Lazarus and his gang. Sam and Max then took over as the new commissioners of the CLPD. Asquith is mentioned several times afterwards, and many including Officer Ran and even Archie Colmyer say that the CLPD was better under Asquith's reign. Several months later, Asquith's brother General R. Asquith also got involved with Rabe Maniels and his schemes only to get killed not long after.

## Personality

Asquith was far more blunt, direct, and honest than his assistant commissioner Rabe Maniels. He was a man of very little humour, and found Rabe and his friends' constant farting rather disgusting. He was an honest cop unlike Rabe, and had never taken a police bribe in his entire life.

## Trivia

* Unlike his brother General R. Asquith, Richard's death has been proved to be canon in funnypastas outside of The Rabe Maniels Arc.
* His first name being Richard was revealed in "The Clubhouse Doomsday Project."
* His assumption that Rabe Maniels and his friends were responsible for the disappearance of Rodger Lampton is later proven to be true in "The Clubhouse Doomsday Project."
* It is unclear what kind of relationship Richard had with his twin brother as his brother never mentions him. It is possible that General R, Asquith develops such an immense hatred for Maniels because he found out that Maniels was responsible for Richard's death but it is never made entirely clear.
* It is unknown exactly when Asquith joined the force over than the fact it happened sometime in the mid to late 90's.
* His middle name Muriel came from his grandmother much to his embarrassment.
* Just like his brother General Asquith; he was a very serious no nonsense person.