Big chungus ooh nana

## Beginning Best

[We lay upon the land of Landville. A peaceful land, one that's full of love. Suddenly, a hill rises up.]

**Hill**: G'day. I'm Hill. A pleasure to meet you. I decided that, sometimes, you need a little love in your life. In order to show that love, I decided to have 18 people compete in my show. I'm hoping all of them are ready to experience a bit of love in their lives.

[The first contestant rolls in.]

**Oil Pastel**: Uh, hi? This is How I Lost Love, right?

**Hill**: Yeah, it's Hill. In fact, it's here.

**Oil Pastel**: Nice. I'm, uh, Oil Pastel. I'll try my hardest to be a good competitor.

**Hill**: I like your confidence. That's what I love to see in a contestant.

[Oil Pastel walks into a circle, marked Contestants.]

**Flushedmoji**: Ohmigosh, I was already ignored! Oh no oh no!

**Hill**: Hmm? Are you okay?

**Flushedmoji**: I, uh--I'm fine! Alright? Fine!

**Hill**: Well, that's great. What's your name, lassie?

**Flushedmoji**: Oh no, I've already gotten a nickname! I'm, uh, Flushedmoji!

**Hill**: Welcome! Take a spot near Oil Pastel, please.

[Next contestant walks out.]

**Burger**: Yo! This is HILL, right?

**Hill**: Yeah. I'm the host, Hill.

**Burger**: Oh, I get it! Hill, HILL. Clever! More important, however, is me. I'm Burger. Nice to meet you!

**Hill**: Thanks!

[Burger joins Flushed and Oil Pastel. Next contestant.]

**Tea Bag**: Huh, this is Hill.

**Hill**: Yeah. Hello.

**Tea Bag**: Well, alright. Time to find Love!

**Coda**: Oh! So this is HILL!

**Hill**: Now I think I should have renamed it. Oh well. Better late then never, I suppose.

**Coda**: Well, I'm Coda. My only goal is to win!

**Tea Bag**: Woah, that's unique.

**Coda**: ...That's pretty much why everyone's here, dude.

**BILL**: HAH, NOT ME!

[BILL rams into Tea Bag, who is launched into the circle.]

**BILL**: THE NAME'S BILL. I'M HERE TO CREAM THESE PUNKS, AND TAKE THE MIL.

**Hill**: you mean love.

**BILL**: the what now.

**Hill**: Nevermind, you can continue.

**BILL**: Alright! Just know what I'm here for!

**Coda**: I doubt anyone would forget.

[Coda and BILL move into the circle. The next batch of contestants show up.]

**Lava Tile**: Great, another competition.

**Hill**: You don't seem very excited for the competition.

**Lava Tile**: Course I'm not. I'm just here to get it over with.

**Black Forest Cake**: Yeah, I'd rather get it over with too. I'm not gonna be comfortable around everyone...

**Hill**: Why'd you both sign up if you just want to quit?

**Black Forest Cake**: I lost a bet with a friend. H-He wouldn't like it either, I think.

**Lava Tile**: Me? I just need a million.

**Hill**: Well, the grand prize isn't a million. It's Love.

**Lava Tile**: ...

[Lava and BFC walk away. Steak and Chip appear.]

**Chip**: Man, I can't get past this one level! C'mon, I can do it!

**Steaky**: Hey! This is about love, right?

**Hill**: You know it!

**Steaky**: Nice! I'm here to finally find love, the dream I've always wanted! I'm Steaky, by the way.

**Chip**: Huh? Love? Oh, sure. I've met a lot of alien babes who I made my wife in some games.

**Hill**: This isn't a virtual game, guy.

**Chip**: It isn't?

[Chip and Steaky walk off as Nintendo Switch Lite and Slingshot appear.]

**Nintendo Switch Lite**: Listen. I don't know how I got here, but I'm here. And I don't think I can leave.

**Slingshot**: ...Huh? Oh yeah, love. Right. Glad to be here. I'm Slingshot.

**Hill**: Nice to see two people excited to be here?

**Nintendo Switch Lite**: Yeah, excited.

[The last group of newbies show up, starting with Floppy Disk and Love Potion.]

**Love Potion**: Ah, love! Don't you just love it? It's in the name, but I've set many of my friends a date. 'Course, I never actually gave someone love myself, but I'm sure one day they'll find something!

**Floppy Disk**: Huh, alright. I'm Floppy Disk, by the way. Ace hacker extraordinaire! Can hack anything in a week, tops!

**Love Potion**: Love Potion's my name! I'm the brilliant and lovely girl meant for this competition!

**Picture Of Lamp From Object Invasion**: Yeah, like you were chosen.

**Love Potion**: Huh? Who said that?

**Picture Of Lamp From Object Invasion**: Me, girl. The name's Picture Of Lamp From Object Invasion. It'll be remembered as the name you lost everything too.

**Love Potion**: ...

**Floppy Disk**: Great, one of those people.

[As the three of them join the circle, the next character makes his debut.]

**Sonichu Medallion**: Hey, I'm Sonichu Medallion! I'm the coolest guy this side of Wayside! Not only am I here for the grand prize of Love, but I'm also here to beat up the Trolls, Polls, Noels, and especially the Moles!

**Flushedmoji**: W-What did the moles ever do to you?

**Sonichu Medallion**: One of them called me ugly! Hah, that's no good! I'm the opposite of ugly!

[Magic Hat poofs herself in, knocking Sonichu away in the process.]

**Magic Hat**: Greetings, my lovely lovlies, and prepare for a special introduction!

**Hill**: Hi how are ya?

**Magic Hat:** Me? Why, I'm the unbelievably talented, unsurpassably skilled, and altogether magnificent magician behind most of the greatest, most adventurous, and most daring moments in all of object history! The guaranteed winner of this show!

**Hill**: ...Okay. Next?

**Magic Hat**: Wait, can the Magnificence show off one of her universally loved Magic-

**Hill**: NEXT.

[The last contestants takes a stand.]

**Credit Card Chip**: G'day, sir. I'm Chippy, it's a pleasure to meet-

**Chippy**: Huh? Who said my name?

**Credit Card Chip**: Oh? Are you also named Chippy? Whoops, my bad. I guess I need to think before I speak. I guess you can just call me Credit Card Chip. The honor is mine, good sir.

**Hill**: Why thanks! Could you stand on the carpet, with everyone else?

**Credit Card Chip**: Of course.

## HILL's the teams!

[All 18 contestants are standing amongst themselves. Hill, meanwhile, has pulled out a white board. As he has no arms (or mouth, for that matter), he cannot draw who will be on what team.]

**Hill**: So, uh...I need team ideas.

**Magic Hat**: Just make the Maginigence a team captain!