recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Savannah Highmane

**Savannah Highmane** is a Hunter should-be Legendary minion that no one in their right mind would not play. If you let it live for one turn, you can bet your ass next turn it will be rammed into your face like the retard-piloted card that it is.

## Strategy

This card plays itself on turn 6 assuming it is on your hand by then. Sometimes, Hunters with more than 1 brain cell will consider coining it out on turn 5, but most of them have less satisfactory brain powers.

Then? It gets:

1. Entombed,
2. Polymorphed,
3. Traded into,
4. Hexed, or
5. Unsanswered, which means it will go face and win

You can also revive it with N'Zoth, but everyone knows what huntards think about turn 10 plays.
Face Hunter

**Face Hunter** is a thankfully dead aggro deck that retards and aggro-defenders like to pretend wasn't that bad. Blizzard begged to differ by nerfing the deck into near unplayability. The playstyle is so simple only a mentally challenged inbred ape could need a guide to learn it, and ironically, those are exactly the players we're dealing with here.

Using chargers and weapons and cheap damaging cards, the objective was to bring the opponent's health to zero before they got a chance to play anything. Unless a taunt showed up on the board, you did not need to look at it at all.

## Strategy

1. Go face
2. Go face
3. Go face
4. Go face
5. Go face
6. Go face
7. Go face
8. If the enemy is still alive, concede

## Counters

* Play taunts, which would get silenced
* Heal, which would still get you bursted down by a lucky top-deck
* Outdamage them with an even more broken deck
* Spam a Reno Jackson deck and make them commit suicide
* Roping
* Blizzard's nerfs to silences, chargers and releases of better heals and taunts
Nerf

> "*I think it is pretty clear that nerfing cards does NOT decrease the number of playable decks.*"
> ― In\_Sync, Hearthpwn user, explaining nerfs in a thread trying to prevent them.[[source]]
>
>

A **nerf** is what happens when a card or deck is so broken no amount of lazy band-aids is going to fix it. Truly, nerfs are the best thing to ever happen to HS, and the only people against them are the exploiters of broken shit or mindless fanboys.

Unfortunately for the respectable minority of the HS playerbase, Blizzard absolutely despises acting positively towards their own game, which means they will try their hardest to avoid doing anything until it becomes absolutely clear the game is in a tremendously shitty state.

Traditionally, Blizzard interferes twice a year to fix their game, after a lengthy, pointless monitoring of cards that even a fetus could tell were broken from the start. Fortunately, after enough whining, there can be exceptions and thus, a third nerf may happen in the same year.

## Bullshitting

As with everything right Blizzard occasionally does, these nerfs generate a lot of salt from clueless players that fear having to try anything that does not net them free wins. Some of their arguments include:

*"Git gud" -* A jade druid player

*"You just need to use more tech cards!" -* Someone who clearly doesn't know a deck can't be 2/3 tech cards

*"Broken cards make the game more fun and challenging." -* A Mysterious Challenger/Flamewaker defender
Hunter

**Hunter or huntard** is a class in Hearthstone created for the inclusion of aborted fetuses in the playerbase, which ended up being exploited by even more acephalous beings. While in WoW, the hunter is a selfish, cunning trapper with great survival instinct and a knack for knowing his surroundings, its HS equivalent is a class that caters to retards and retards alone. With the most aggressive hero power ever made, hunters only play aggro decks, and promptly ignore every single non-damage card they get every expansion.

## "Identity"

Blizzard has continuously tried to fix the mistake that was creating hunter by giving the class's retarded fans interesting, fun cards that would drive them away from the cancerous playstyle that exists since HS's birth. However, huntards cannot read, so all of this is wasted effort when they could simply delete the class. Regardless, here's what Blizzard has tried to make hunters do:

* Play beasts to control the board
* OTK the enemy
* Use their hero power to kill minions
* Clear the board
* Spam spells
* Work with deathrattles
* Work with secrets
* Work with beasts again
* Handbuff their minions
* Play 1-drops
* Build their own beasts
* Play minionless decks

And here is what huntards actually have done:

* Win games thanks to unanswered 1-drops
* Go face
* Get Eaglehorn Bow and Arcane Golem nerfed
* Deal damage
* Go face
* Miss lethal on the other side of the board
* Win all thanks to a broken spellstone
* Go face
* Miscount their own damage
* Top-deck either Unleash the Hounds or Kill Command

## The players

It should be no trouble at all to assume all hunters lack the brainpower needed to even be offended by this page. Most hunters cannot read, feel emotion, or even have fun, which at the very least prevents most of them from raging when they get fucked by RNG. They are, however, known to bitch endlessly about Blizzard not giving them aggro tools so they can become God tier again and rape everyone, which makes them the least reliable HS players in terms of balance insight.

Really, although huntard is a common expression, calling hunters retards is an insult to retards, since a retard can still be a productive, upstanding member of society, while hunter mains are little more than purge fodder even to the most creative minds.
Gold

**Gold** is the second-hardest currency to obtain in Hearthstone. With gold, one can purchase packs, arena tickets and save up to get bragging rights on Hearthpwn before an expansion comes out. You could also enter Heroic Brawl, but perhaps you are not retarded enough to do it yet.

## How to get:

The generous souls at Blizzard gave players numerous ways to get gold. These include:

* Daily Quests: Missions that force you to play shitty decks to get 50 gold
* Arena: Maybe after you spend 150 gold, of course. Protip: expect packs to "repay" your investment a lot more often than actual gold. Also, expect 5 gold rewards which are next to worthless until you dump 150 more gold in arena again
* Winning 3 games against other players for 10 gold: What do you mean it is hardly worth the trouble? What if I told you there are losers who grind out 30 wins to get their daily 100 gold?
* Getting compensation for an unintentional bug that somehow ruins the game's economics

## How to lose it:

Naturally, Hearthstone is cleverly devised to drain you of your hard-earned money around every corner, even if it is digital money.

* Paying 700 gold for every adventure wing
* Paying 1000 gold for Heroic Brawls
* Paying 150 for Arena runs that will most likely end up 0-3
* Transmuting 100 gold into 40 dust

## See also

* Dust - Truly the hardest currency in HS to get
* Whales and Fanboys - The only morons who think this economic system is fair
* Arena - The realest pay-2-play mode in HS
* Packs - Got 100 gold? How's about you waste it?
Ben Brode

**BEN BRODE JUST QUIT BLIZZARD AFTER WITCHWOOD WAS RELEASED! COINCIDENCE?! I THINK NOT!**

**Ben Brode** was Blizzard's brave scapegoat to all of their fuck-ups, who endured all of the community's hate with a big smile thanks to all of the money they threw at him regardless.

Brode's laugh has become a meme on its own, often meant to symbolize how little of a shit Blizzard gives about the state of the game, and how unlikely fair nerfs are to be made.

Currently, Ben Brode is sapping developers from Hearthstone to his new company, Second Dinner. The dies are cast and no fanboy or saltlord shall be able to claim neutrality.

## The man, the myth, the legend

Ben started as a pizza delivery guy who got prank called into delivering a pineapple pizza to Blizzard's HQ. Coincidentally, Blizzard was working on Hearthstone, and needed a shield in case everything went fucking wrong. In walked Ben, pizza man, and out walked Brode, leader and spokesperson of Team 5.

Of course, officially, the story is lengthier, and much bloodier, but in reality, Ben was bound to become the man we see today regardless of the choices he made once Blizzard took him in.

## Why he was so important

Understandably, most of Blizzard wouldn't touch the HS community with a 10-foot pole. Ben, however, has developed an immunity to the toxicity that emanates from the average Hearthstone player, and gladly spoke to those morons regardless of their hostility with a fake innocence that was almost charming.

## Favorite hobbies

* Eating pizza
* Answering pointless questions on Reddit
* Designing filler cards (ate up most of his time)
* Deleting hateful e-mails
* Rapping
* Reading/jacking off to the Salt Thread
* Laughing as jades and pirates rape everyone
* As of now, starting his own company, perhaps to deliver the killing blow to HS with his own game

Notice how none of these involve playing Hearthstone? That's his secret to keep smiling!
Adapt

**Adapt** was Blizzard's response when people were getting tired of more than a year of discover, but was introduced in an expansion that bombarded HS with discover cards anyway, in this case Un'Goro. Instead of infinite value, however, adapt lets you make a minion either slightly stronger, or completely fucking unkillable, all based on how much of a good boy you've been, in a mechanic design that very suspiciously resembles discover.

## The outcomes

There are 9 possible outcomes of an adaptation, and quite a few of them are unconditionally bad. Most of the time, the "choice" you have to make is obvious. Use the following table if you're too dumb to do it yourself.
Outcast

**Outcast** is an easy as piss mechanic and keyword, for an easy as piss class. It is Blizzard's way of acknowledging that an effect is busted, but making it all okay by adding a tiny, barely existing restriction. In their minds, this tiny downside is what is supposed to stop Illidan from skull-fucking everyone into submission, which goes to show the disconnect their playtesting has from reality.

## So what exactly *is* the downside?

Nothing. The cards are supposed to be at either end of your hand to have an effect. Blizzard, however, conveniently forgot they were giving DH a bunch of broken 0-cost cards and so much tempo-friendly crap their hands are nearly empty almost all of the time. Also, do note that the cards are, as a rule, perfectly suited for their mana cost to be *fine*, and the outcast bonus just makes them OP for no reason.

## See also

* Demon Hunter - the absolute mess that made this possible
Design space

**Design space** is the uncoherent, vaguely ominous concept that Blizzard has locked and loaded for whenever someone accuses them of fucking up. It has something to do with power level of cards, and blatant powercreeping and filler cards seem to be good for it. With these facts on our minds, we can conclude that this is just another trick.

Design space is also brought up by saltlords whenever they want a nerf badly. Saying a card limits design space has about as much meaning as exchanging a look with a stranger on a train.

If you go to Hearthpwn, chances are everyone there will be more than ready to lecture you about this strange concept. Be warned, though, since you will most likely end up getting different answers from everyone, until you finally conclude HPwn is filled with bullshit.

## How to "open" and "limit" design space

Every card limits design space. This is true because Ben Brode said so. However, some limit it a lot more than others. This is why we should allow Blizzard to shit out awful cards every expansion. It is also why you can't get a girlfriend, why global warming is a thing, and why MSoG was released despite being cancer. Just when you think it is over, yet another event pops out and it turns out design space is the culprit.

For example: you design a 2 mana 3/2 with no text. If you forbid yourself from making any cards better than that, your card is limiting your design space for the 2 mana slot. It also means cards that interact with 2 mana cards need to be balanced around this. To get more, you either nerf said card or you ignore the existence of said card and print out continuously more broken 2-mana shit. Get it? It's okay if you don't.

Of course, now that there are rotations, and most cards only matter temporarily, this is an outdated concept, since Blizzard is now allowed to design stuff recklessly until it just gets shipped to wild mode.
Classic

The **Classic Set** is Hearthstone's primary card set that does not suck. It might be great in size, but one never knows when greediness might make it shrink again.

## What does it have?

As the first and mandatorily most played set of them all, it is obvious that Classic must be filled with weak, underwhelming or outright boring cards. Whenever a Tavern Brawl comes out, chances are your reward will be a classic pack, which will yield useless cards, which will be turned into 40 dust. It is for the benefit of all that most classic cards absolutely suck.

## What to expect

* Lots of nerfed, non-rotating cards (preferrably common or rare ones too)
* 1 or 2 intentionally broken cards for every class
* Pitifully weak neutral legendaries
* Maybe a few cards that are just too good and asking for it
Monster Hunt

Ooops! We could not give enough of a shit about **Monster Hunt** to make an article about it. Were you instead looking for one of these pages?

* Dungeon Runs - The original (and far better) idea

* Witchwood - The uninspired bundle of filler that Monster Hunts came from
* Irrelevant - What Monster Hunt effectively is

## But what is it?

Monster Hunt is effectively Dungeon Run, but with 4 classes with even more variable power levels.

* Tracker - Rogue and Hunter merged into one. This class is easy peasy and wins if you always pick the jade options.
* Cannoneer - The dumpster Warrior class Blizzard used to ejaculate all the crappy Rush filler cards into. Wins if you always go for Inspire and hero power synergy.
* Houndmaster - Another Hunter class with more Rush. Shaw's hero power is the shittiest of the four, so you can only win by improving it or focusing entirely on something OP like deathrattles.
* Timetinker - Mage in its truest form. Playing Toki is a wholesome experience from the first fight to the last. Her hero power lets you be unlucky not once, but twice, so you can truly see how rigged Hearthstone is. To win, you just need to be lucky for 8 consecutive matches.
Spell Hunter

"Go for the ass!

**Spell Hunter** is a successful, but still forced, archetype that pigeonholes hunters into playing no beasts at all, instead relying on absolutely broken messes of spells that should not generate half the tempo that they do. If your deck has no minions, you are getting a nice bonus to further rape your enemies.

## Strategy

Birthed by KnC, this abomination of a deck relies in playing a bunch of secrets early on, to then summon a bunch of 3/3 wolves with your shitty spellstone (upgraded by a goal that your gameplan naturally fulfills, of course).

You can have several builds, ranging from value spell generation, Barnes+Y'Shaarj, summoning spells of "Animal Companions" or even a potentially massive Yogg to finish things off. You will probably win if you play the hunter DK, anyway.

If your enemy is somehow still standing, you just need to play Zul'jin to finish them off with a horde of Huffers along with a tree full of secrets. What a thoroughly enjoyable and skill-testing deck!
Shaman

**Shaman** is a casino disguised as a class. It has been confirmed by many experts that only 1 in every 1000 shaman victories is actually earned through skill, the others being instead owed to highroll on either hero powers, cards, or both. While Blizzard acknowledges the core problems with the class, they'd rather monitor it for at least 6 years than actually fixing the fucking problem already.

## Identity

Since the shaman hero power only has 25% chance of being useful, Blizzard has personally accepted the quest of making sure the class owes all its power to *potential* RNG instead of actually designing cards properly. As such, what we've got is a clusterfuck that looks something like this:

* Randomly scattered totem synergy (either broken or useless given how far apart these cards are)
* Overload cards that should not cost so little
* Ways to bypass overload so shaman go unpunished from using OP cards
* Damage between x-y. The wider the range the more the butthurt of whoever gets shafted by RNJesus
* Transformation of minions into bigger ones
* Transformation of enemy minions into frogs or smaller ones
* Jades
* Random bursty spells every now and then
* Random heals every now and then
* Weapons
* Murlocs
* Elementals
* Windfury

## The players

Shaman players didn't really exist until 2016, so it was always hoped that they would be better than everyone else by learning from their mistakes. However, we were quickly proven wrong when these shitstains formed enough of a community to have rules set about them.

The average shaman is a paranoid, tinfoil hatted, photophobic basement-dweller with about as many odds of finding a friend as there are for diamonds to rain. A common tradition among shaman fags is the blaming of Blizzard for how shitty their hero power is, for how shitty their matchups are, and for how shitty they are at finding loved ones or winning at life.

Shamans are also poor as dirt on their own account, having spent 99% of their savings on either failing to cure their erectile dysfunctions or getting scammed by Nigerian princes. As such, it is not uncommon for a beggar to whip out a phone and start exclaiming "That's incredible!" just because he got the right totem. Needless to say, these beggars deserve no cash.
Worgen Greaser

Now why wouldn't you put this in your deck?

> "*"I ain't nothin' but a filler card!"*"
> ― The self-aware Worgen Greaser
>
>

**Worgen Greaser** is, without a doubt, the worst card ever made in Hearthstone. It is not cancerous, or asking for a nerf, or even relevant in arena, and yet it still manages to be the worst. Such an achievement was not only thought unachievable, but also hoped to be so. Unfortunately, Blizzard proved us wrong once again.

## Why it sucks

It is no lie that there are other very strong contenders to the "shittiest card in the game" spot, especially knowing Blizzard's expansion-making methods. Magma Rager might be the strongest available contender right now.

However, it should be noted that unlike the rager, Worgen Greaser is not an elemental. Additionally, you will open many of these in your packs, while the gentle rager is kind enough to not haunt any packs in existence. The greaser also costs more mana, lacks text, came out of the worst thing Blizzard ever did and even sucks as a meme compared to other notoriously shitty cards.

Indeed, Worgen Greaser's only redeeming quality is its golden animation, which is still a worthless feat, given Blizzard always tries to make filler cards as aesthetically pleasing as possible to prevent players from dusting them.

## See also

* Gadgetzan Mistake - The cataclysmic event that brought us this shit
* Filler cards - The most obvious (and only) category to place this card in
* Packs - The part of Hearthstone that this and many other cards frequently ruin
Windfury

**Windfury or the tempo-killer ability** is the shit Blizzard types on a special type of card when taunt doesn't quite cut it. Unlike the latter, windfury always forces the minion to have underwhelming stats and thus be unplayable or, in very rare cases, good enough.

## List of windfury cards that manage to not suck

* Doomhammer: Because it's a weapon and it can attack immediately. Belongs to Shaman.
* Whirling Zap-o-Matic: A mech that does not sacrifice stats to have windfury. Also belongs to Shaman.
* Vicious Fledgling: Doesn't really have windfury, but it *might* get it and win because of that.

## List of windfury failures

* Young Dragonhawk
* Dust Devil
* Thrallmar Farseer
* Flying Machine
* Dragonhawk Rider
* Dunemaul Shaman
* Grook Fu Master
* Windfury Harpy
* Stormwatcher
* Grotesque Dragonhawk
* Al'Akir the Windlord
Warrior

**Warrior** is yet another class in nerf-plz condition. As this article is written, warriors can play every archetype without significant drawbacks, all while having the least intelligent players of the community as their fans. Once, warriors were known for getting to 200 armor within 5 turns, but recent events have turned most warrior players into retards.

## Identity

As a stupidly versatile class, a warrior deck can do things that no sane developper would allow for more than a week. Fortunately for warrior mains, Blizzard is in charge, and thus they get to exploit their class with months to spare before any nerf is within sight. As of now, they can:

* Stack armor like madmen
* Deal 40 damage to a minion for 1 mana
* Destroy any board regardless of size
* Play 40 minute matches that would drive any sensitive person man mad
* Exploit dragon synergy
* Spread scurvy (AKA: the pirate AIDS)
* Ignore fatigue
* Play with C'Thun
* Spam Grim Patrons
* Damage everything and everyone with weak-ass whirlwind effects

## The players

Warriors are what happens after incest and/or rape. Given the bumpy families these creatures are created from, it is not unusual for a warrior player to claim he was dropped on the head as a baby at least four times. After being victims of such unfortunate (yet deserved!) treatments, rare are the warriors that don't have twitchy eyes, lengthy retarded voices, or an outright slowed mind.

If the warrior, somehow, is not inbred or unloved, they share many of the Rogue's symptoms of USI and delusions of skill. All in all, you are doomed to hate these guys no matter what.
Year of the Mammoth

The **Great Year of the Whale, or 2017** for the Untainted was HS's most expensive year so far. It was, surprisingly, also the one that generated the most cash for Blizzard, all thanks to a couple of overrated pieces of trash. If you weren't around back then, you are luckier than us, and thus, no longer welcome here.

The second Standard year, the Mammoth/Whale still manages to beat the Kraken, purely because this one doesn't have Gadgetzan.

## Relevant Events

* Adventures got cancelled because of a certain previous shit-show
* Un'Goro, the best expac evar, released and brought with it the new Blizz project: Netdeck What We Tell You To
* Blizzard, with this, was able to up the ante by doubling class legendaries for ALL THREE expansions
* Un'Goro is so balanced it requires an immediate nerf for the game to stop being shit. It might be partly Gadgetzan's fault
* KoFT finally shuts up Hearthpwn about fucking Death Knight classes
* Death Knights, however, bring forth a new reason for Hearthpwn to hate on the game
* On a roll, Blizzard is forced to nerf more shit. They gut the Basic set in order to save as much as possible on dust refunds
* KnC launches, Blizzard stops giving a shit since it is the last expansion of the year. Balance becomes the last priority.
* OMG legendary weapons!
* Arena changes, I think?
* Ben Brode rapped as a replacement for music for two of the trailers
Zoolock

If your Zoo deck doesn't look like this, you won't reach Legend. Wait, nevermind, you need to put Keleseth somewhere too.

## Deck Info

### Brain Cells Required

"It requires skill because you need to pick the right 1-drop on turn 1!"

### Nerfed

Ignored by Blizzard

**Zoolock** is Hearthstone's oldest surviving deck and unfortunately one of the least likely ones to die out soon. Like the malign cancer it is, this deck has survived every nerf, meta and tech card created so far,

Unlike other aggro decks, some people still defend that playing Zoo requires skill. In fact, people are so fucking clueless about Zoolock that some even firmly believe that it is a control deck.

## Strategy

As an aggro deck, Zoolock vomits little minions that quickly deal fucktarded damage, all while never running out of steam thanks to the warlock hero power. Some people think that, because Zoo players trade to maintain board control, this automatically makes them a control deck. This is wrong on so many levels those people can only be branded as hunters who only know how to go face.

More often than not, this deck is played in Wild to fully exploit sticky minions and never have to play around board clears. However, with Renozakus in the game, Zoo is fortunately losing popularity to an at least slower deck, although the cancer is very much the same.

## The Heal Variant

Recently, the fucktards at Hearthpwn have decided to up the cancer of Zoolock, somehow, and include heal synergy cards in the decklist. This means playing Flame Imp and healing next turn, just to drop a 0-mana 3/3 on turn 2. It is, overall, so boring and predictable it doesn't really warrant much more context or explanation. Zoo + heals = cancer, unsurprisingly, because Zoo + anything = cancer anyway.
Rage Friend Requests

**Rage Friend Requests** are exactly what the name suggests. You probably lost a game against a cancer deck, and decided to give the enemy cunt a piece of your mind. Sometimes, people also get butthurt despite winning. Since the only way to talk to anyone is by having them on your friendlist, though, you can only talk shit if the other person lets you (which they probably will, because salt makes everyone's day).

RFRs make up a large percentage of the HS community's interactions with each other. It should be surprising to absolutely no one.

## How to compose a proper rage friend request (if you lost)

1. Make sure you alternate English with Russian/whatever your mother tongue is. I am sure it will make you look more erudite instead of dumb.
2. Misspell complicated words, but don't make the effort to replace them with easier ones
3. Use ALL CAPS, but only in moments when your rage peaks, so everyone knows how much of an unstable person you are.
4. Make your opponent know how lucky he was. It will convince them that the win was rightfully yours.
5. Wish him cancer or AIDS. Then go for his family.
6. Sprinkle a few death threats in. Don't mention the fact that you are most certainly a car-less, overweight loser. Your opponent will shit himself for sure.
7. Go the extra mile and invoke racism and hate-speech too. Call your opponent a chink, fag, negro, kike or whatever other edgy shit you find in Encyclopedia Dramatica. This ensures that the other person gains the power to ban your ass if they choose to report you.
8. Accuse your opponent of hacking. Keep recurring to the accusation so everyone knows you don't know shit about technology.
9. Unfriend him right away, and congratulate yourself for your brilliant hit-and-run mess of insults and retardation.

## How to be salty if you won

1. Do the same things as above, mostly.
2. Declare how easy the game was, even if you almost grew a tumor for being so butthurt.
3. Complain about being roped, especially if you were in casual with a netdeck. This will let your opponent know they got to you and your cunty ass.
4. Insist that RNG was against you the whole match (even though you won).
5. Fail to either be smug or enraged, making your ridiculousness apparent as you teeter between both choices.
6. Back away like a little bitch at the prospect of a rematch.
7. Unfriend him and wonder why it is you still feel like shit.

## How to be salty after getting a RFR

1. Act tough and trash-talk your opponent (if you can).
2. Enter a state of denial and tell yourself it doesn't bother you one bit to be told mean things.
3. Endure all the abuse your salty enemy feels like dumping on you.
4. Invariably feel like shit after being unfriended and cut short.
5. Create a backbone-less thread on Hearthpwn thanking all your enemies for RFRs. Openly state how much you enjoy knowing you've made someone saltier.
6. Get called out for being a pussybitch, since it *did bother you* *enough* to warrant a thread creation.
7. Ignore the "hate" like a coward and wallow in shame and misery until a mod inevitably locks your thread.
8. Pretend nothing happened and jack off to cuckoldry porn.
Taunt

**Taunt** is officially the least liked mechanic in Hearthstone. To achieve this, it doesn't do it by being extremely cancerous or unbelievably stupid. Instead, it gets by by being completely and utterly unexciting. Recent events made Blizzard crank up the power level of taunts so much, however, that they have enabled a whole new boring meta to sweep over HS with one particular class spearheading it.

Taunt is exciting because because it gets in the way of enemy forces and protects your precious face from your inbred opponent's attacks. Another wonderful feature of taunt is that it is a mighty keyword enabler of shitty filler cards for every expansion. If everything else fails, taunt is also a damn good reason for cunts to run silences if someone orders them to.

## Important taunts:

* Stonehill Defender
* Ozruk
* Saronite Chain Gang
* Tirion Fordring, in the old days
* Annoy-o-Tron

## Taunt-related concepts:

* Dust
* Filler
* Silence
* Control
* Druid
* Hadronox
Stonehill Defender

It wouldn't be a tortollan card if the voice didn't sound completely retarded.

Occasionally, when you are building a slower deck, you might wonder: "What the fuck do I put in now?" It is usually by this point that you will go to Hearthpwn and start copying someone else like a little shit. If you are slightly smarter than that, you already know what Hearthpwn would say, since the HS meta is pathetically predictable. Regardless of what you did, you ended up putting **Stonehill Defender** in your deck.

## Strategy

Stonehill Defender is great, mainly because he already has taunt. This means you are getting value while you protect yourself at the same time, which is an amazing design for a card.

You can complete 2/7 of a Warrior quest with him.

You can also bypass the card restrictions in Odd Paladin and get yourself a Tirion or a Tarim.

Aggro players used to dislike it because 4 health was a lot on turn 3.

The only real downside to this card is that its existence excuses Blizzard to keep printing shit taunt filler cards, which will always clog your discover pool because your RNG sucks ass.

## See also

* Taunt
* Discover
* Un'Goro
* Boring
Rise of Shadows

**Rise of Shadows** was the first expansion that 2019 got. Because all 2018 expansions failed, it was also the first expansion the game got since Year of the Raven. We could only have hoped Blizzard went easy on the Witchwood methodology this time, which they grudgingly agreed to do (for some reason).

## Theme

The "villains" you never cared about are joining up in a tone-deaf evil league to fuck shit up. Instead of getting revenge in familiar places, they are attacking Dalaran for no reason. Without further ado, meet their team:

* Rafaam - The only actual villain of the bunch. You probably defeated in LoE. You might know him from the "I like your X, I think I will TAKE it!" meme.
* Madam Lazul - The only member of the league that can sing. She merely announced the Old Gods, so I guess that means she is a villain now. Just roll with it.
* Dr. Boom - A minor character in GvG and your employer in BDP, Boom is probably the only character anyone gives a shit about here, and that is because the community likes him instead of seeing him as a villain.
* Hagatha - A card that is yet to leave Standard is joining it twice. As you probably could expect, her "overpowered" status in the WW trailer never came to fruition.
* Togwaggle - Really, nobody cares about this overweight rat. He is just there because he was the only Dungeon Run boss that could be seen working with the other four.

## New mechanics

With Hearthstone's fate on the line, Blizzard had to roll up their sleeves and actually work instead of shitting out an expansion like they did before. The new mechanics are as follows:

* **Twincast** is a spell that gives you a second copy of itself. This was already a thing in BDP with Extra Arms, but that doesn't mean you can expect any rewording.
* **Lackeys** are 1-drop tokens with wildly varying effects, that can be generated mainly by the EVIL classes
* Schemes are infinitely upgrading cards that reward you for hoarding them in your hand. The Rogue one, and this was quite easy to tell even before it launched, ended up being absolute cancer, just like a very fitting comparison from the past.

## History's Judgement

In the end, RoS was a pretty great expansion, especially given how badly the community was craving for something that wasn't shit when it launched. As soon as the meta gained some actual, non-shit cards, fanboys and saltlords alike set aside their differences, forgot about the Year of the Failure and started grinding with Bomb Warrior. The Hearthstone Renaissance, arguably, started with the launch of Rise of Shadows.
Trump

**Trump** is NOT the president of the United States. HS's Trump is a streamer who tries to teach the playerbase to play the game not like total retards, which every day proves to be a more and more impossible task. He also calls himself the **Mayor of Value Town.** It is not only because of a series of his called Value Town, but also because he is unspeakably greedy.

## Signature

Trump is known for his amazing ability to predict the upcoming cards. Usually, his reviews can be correctly interpreted by discounting the stars he attributes to the cards. If Trump gives a card 4/5 stars, then the card is a 1/5. Reversely, 1/5 cards can be found in his "best" predictions
Zephrys the Great

Don't forget that he is an elemental! Just to make mage even more abusive, y'know?

## Other info

### Nerfed

TBA

**Zephrys the Great** is, apart from the one card no Hearthstoner alive can spell correctly, the most gamebreaking, overpowered, disgusting effect ever put on a card. However, you need a Highlander deck to activate its effect, so that makes it all okay.

Its release essentially made the meta consist of entirely highlander decks and yet Blizzard still decided to release Dragonqueen Alexstrasza one expansion later.

## Strategy

You would think that a card that grants you the "perfect" answer from the Classic set would have little RNG, right? Well, yes, but actually no.

You see, Zephrys is, despite his best efforts, still kind of retarded. There are times he won't grant you Mind Control despite costing 0 mana, just because there are two enemy minions instead of one. There are times when he won't grant you Twisting Nether because he is scared shitless of a few deathrattles. There are even times when his dumb ass won't give you Flare against *multiple secrets* just because you have enough mana to play a 4-Mana, far worse tech card.

With all that being said, Zephrys can often just be treated as a neutral Tirion Fordring/Twisting Nether/actually useful tech card/lethal. Just don't expect him to be *smart*and you'll be golden.
Quest Rogue

**Quest Rogue** is a cockroach-like deck that survives every single desperate attempt Blizzard makes to kill it off for good. It has survived 2 nerfs so far, as well as aggro metas ever since Un'Goro, and it is still being played and effectively winning games!

## Strategy

Play the quest on turn 1. Drop random cheap shit, before using Shadowsteps and Sonyas and whatever else your favorite shitty pro player thought was best to put in your deck to bring them back to your hand. Do this ~~four~~ five times and ALL your minions become ~~5/5s~~ 4/4s for the rest of the game.

After Prep'ing the reward, even the most retarded child with webbed toes due to extreme inbreeding can win. Drop endless chargers for 1 mana, bounce them back and attack again, and your opponent's health will drop in 2 turns.

If you play against aggro, you get to experience the rape you would otherwise deliver, regardless of what you do.

## See also

* Quests
* Journey to Un'Goro
* Cancer
* Nerfs
Salt Thread

**FLUXFLASHOR JUST CLOSED THE OLD SALT THREAD BECAUSE IT WAS MASSIVE AT 47378 POSTS AND OPENED A NEW ONE! HEARTHPWN'S PERFORMANCE COULDN'T HANDLE SO MUCH SALT!**

Whenever a HStoner gets rekt beyond all belief thanks to non-rigged, yet unfortunate circumstances, a good way to get rid of that frustration is to post in the **Salt Thread**. The Salt Thread is by far Hearthpwn's biggest thread, and continues to grow to this day, surpassing 2200 pages as this is being written.

Some would say abandoning Hearthstone for a while and not even thinking about it would cure the salt more easily, but those people are morons who probably never played this shit anyway.

## What to find

The Salt Thread is filled to the core with murder threats, desires of fatal diseases to infect less desirable players, and uncanny obsessions about rage-induced self-harm. Some posts are directed towards a single card, while others bash Hearthstone's rotten existence entirely. It is not uncommon for some posters to claim that they will quit this game for good.

Some people also use it to vent about non-HS issues.

If a Hearthpwn user named Kaladin decides to play HS, he will dump at least 5 different complaints about RNG, top-decks or just Casual in general. Fanboys would rather dismiss the complaints as ludicrous than acknowledging that he is right.

## Linking the Salt Thread

As with any online hive mind, Hearthpwn has developed a shitty, predictable way to rack upvotes. In this case, pasting the Salt link on any thread that has anything negative to say about the game is bound to get you mad approval from those who disagree. In fact, if you are a fanboy (which means words probably come difficult to you), don't bother reading the thread. Just post it if the title sounds negative, critical or even proposing the slightest change in any way. Blizzard will reward your loyalty.

It comes as no surprise that anyone that does this deserves the most gruesome imaginable death, as they're proving to the world just how unoriginal and unfunny they are, and thus, how badly they're killing this game.
The Coin

Kripp's best friend.

> "*Dude, fuck the Coin. I'm so fucking sick of going second. Fuck!*"
> ― Kripparrian in one of his Arena wins
>
>

**The Coin** is a Rogue card that is given to every poor sod that has to go second in HS, and thus, most likely lose. While in ESL, going second means you are almost surely winning, the exact opposite applies to Hearthstone.

## But the coin can be useful!

No underwhelming card could be put into an article without a list of SUPER AWESOME tricks to do with it.

* Play a 2-mana minion on turn 1
* Crank up your Yogg
* Cancer up the game with a Flamewaker and a 1-mana spell
* Give your Van Cleef +2/+2
* Get rid of a Counterspell
* Get milled because you can't count to 10 and you kept it in your hand
Untainted

The **Untainted**,also known as **normal people** or **desirables** are the good, honest people that have not been touched by Hearthstone and thus have salt levels that might not kill them so soon. It is also up to them to prolongue the human race's existence through reproduction, while the brave HStoners nobly choose to not spread their genes any further for everyone's benefit.

It should be noted, however, that being untainted has its own disadvantages. Most of them are never blessed with hearing Ben Brode's laughter and unlike us, they lack a hopeless addiction to keep them from suicide. Their personalities often have certain noticeable flaws too.

## How to recognize the Untainted

Many people have tried to distance themselves from HS and pretend they lead normal lives/have a chance to ever have friends. However, one ought not to be fooled. For all you know, it could just be a lying fanboy hoping to make up for the foolish internet wars he lost, or worse, a whale trying to pretend they could spend their money somewhere else if they wanted to. The following checklist is handy:

* Do they have friends?
* Are they outside?
* Are they a girl?
* Are they attractive?
* Are they physically fit?
* Are they smiling?
* Do they use their phone to text or chat with others?
* Do they understand what it means if you wave at them?
* Are they members of any community or collective work?
* Would anyone miss them if they disappeared?

If the answer to any of these is yes, you are probably looking at a healthy untainted person. Stay away from them or pretend you don't know about Hearthstone if you wish to interact.

## Recognizing HStoners

Now that's the real question, isn't it? HStoners are dangerous folks, and having one nearby, even while being a HStoner yourself, can lead to injuries, death or worse. As per usual, us good folks at Hearthstun decided to create another checklist:

* Do they say they "only play casually"?
* Is there a faint smell of Doritos in the area?
* Do they need someone to take a stick from up their asses?
* Do they think murlocs are funny?
* Do they flinch when exposed to sunlight?
* Do they avoid letting others know what they're using their phone for?
* Did they leave their basements just to get Nemsy Necrofizzle?
* Do they gatekeep "gaming" as a concept?
* Do you get rapist vibes from being near them?
* Do they spend eons upon eons on the toilet?

If the answer to most of these is yes, run. Run as fast as you can. They're probably overweight, but one can never be too sure. Once you reach a safe spot, ~~call~~ pretend you have a friend to call, just so any would-be pursuer feels outnumbered and gives up
Year of the Raven

**Year of the Raven, 2018, better known as Year of the Failure** could have been the best year in HS so far just because Gadgetzan was fucking gone! As per usual, the animal that matters is only relevant to the first expansion, in this case, Witchwood. Despite Gadgetzan's absence, the year still managed to beat all others in the disappointing factor, since instead of a proper expansion, what we got was TGT 2.0 to kickstart it, and what followed up was GvG but without powercreep, finishing off with TGT 3.0: Horde Edition.

## Things that happened in 2018

* More shit got thrown into Hall of Fame
* Mill became a Wild-only archetype and thus became dead
* 3 powerful expansions rotated out, and 1 underwhelming one had to replace them
* Somehow, despite rotations, Witchwood still failed miserably
* Blizzard has had to nerf more shit. WW still didn't manage to do anything notable.
* **Ben Brode quit.** It was ~~probably~~ definitely because of HS's biggest failure to date. It marked the turning point in HS where it became a sinking ship.
* The Boomsday Project arrived. It was supposed to be 2018's first real expansion.
* BDP's only good card was butchered, along with Aviana + Kun
* Rastakhan's Rumble bombed, both as an expansion and in terms of single player content
* Odd Paladin, Shudderwock and Kingsbane all became dead in the water in one fell swoop
* Hunter became the only good class. Again.
Top-deck

So you've managed to stabilize your game with a sliver of health, and now you are on your way to a complete turnaround. Little do you know, however, that the gods themselves are siding with your opponent, and he is going to draw whatever he needs to end you before anything else happens. That is called a **top-deck**.

Top-decks are a common tactic among Hunters, aggro fags, combo fags and every fuckwad that runs Yogg. As with any other draw-related mechanic, the skill requirements are through the roof.

## See also

* Face Hunter
* Aggro
* RNG
* Skill
* Card Draw
Rank 20

**Rank 20** was the former epitome of shittiness that most of the Hearthstone community strived for in Ranked play. As such, it became a common, unfunny insult that many people often threw around in Hearthpwn, related to their foes being somehow trapped in rank 20 (although any 1-eyed monkey with functioning fingers can eventually climb out of it if it is allowed to play long enough).

Rank 20 used to be the lowest you could go since it was the minimum rank required to get your season rewards. Now however, instead of climbing, people just win 5 games and call it a day, which is much better in terms of how little we have to play.

## Lesser variants of the "joke"

* Rank 15 - Slightly funnier, still shit as an insult. It required some effort to get that far, so it is easier to imply the person is shit if they stop climbing at rank 15.
* Rank 25 - Just godawful. If anyone ever resorted to rank 25 as an insult, they should probably be shot. This is mainly because most players were rank 25 at least in Standard or Wild, depending on where they played.
* Rank 10 - The least common of all insults, and for a good reason. Rank 10 players were such a minority it was absolutely stupid to even reference them as the tier of shit.
* Rank 5 - AKA the rank smart Legend players stay in after climbing once. No one used this as an insult.
* Legend - Ah yes, the true display of shittiness as a player. While everyone rips on the Legend cardback and its players, nobody uses it as an insult either, although it would for once be hilarious if they did.

## Then vs Now

As Sun Tzu used to say: "With a ladder revamp, a shitty ancient insult becomes invalid.". Now that Hearthstone has a fuckton of extra ranks and numbers are repeated from 1 to 10, saying someone belongs in rank 25 is the same as admitting you are a clueless old man who is likely to die soon and, thus, doesn't matter on the grand scheme of things.

However, following League of Legends, Hearthstone has finally unlocked another feature present in that game. This could be considered a victory, if not for the fact LoL is a heap of trash that no videogame should aspire to become. Now, players can just call each other Bronze anything, and assuming you aren't lazy and choose number 10, your insult will actually hurt.
Priest

**Priest or that fucking class that steals shit** has been widely considered the deservingly worst class in the game due to how absolutely awful it is to play against them. Blizzard, however, once realized the error of their ways and chose to buff the class to S-tier for 3 expansions in a row, leading to perhaps the dullest meta of all time. While clearly broken, the class can't play aggro, which is why it sucked so much for so long.

## Identity

Time and time again, Blizzard has come up with incredible (and stupid) ideas for their classes. Priests, however, have never been too fortunate with their forced archetypes, and players have been forced to wait until they made the dumb mistake of releasing clearly broken cards so they could:

* Steal shit
* Spam shitty little spells to get more spells
* Play deathrattles
* Turn heals into shitty damage
* Play dragons
* Lose every non-control match-up
* OTK their foes
* Create a Wild Deck somehow as about to fun to play against as Jades
* Spam their hero power

Anything else has been pure luck and/or myth created by Blizzard back when priest was shit. A perfect example of this is the famous Unicorn Priest, when Brode speculated about the existence of an awesome priest deck players just hadn't found out yet. Obviously, such a deck was never found and the community finally learnt not to trust Blizzard on their bullshit.

## The players

Priest players are always either closetted or cuckolds in real life, sometimes both. The pain they experience from every human being they encounter can only be reflected on the shitty playstyle the class offers, and they trick themselves into thinking they enjoy it. Examples of this include their girlfriends leaving them for anyone who doesn't play HS, or being molested at a very young age. As such, they enjoy being mistreated in ways that only a sick fuck can relate to, such as through pegging and cuckoldry.

When they aren't busy volunteering to be raped by their uncles, priests enjoy emoting while fiddling their three pubes, if their fetish-driven castration allowed them to grow that many, or writing scat fanfiction as awfully as you'd expect.