Cloning Experiment

The cloning experiment was an experiment performed by Orwell Industries in the year 2008 A.D under the orders of Mega Orwell. The experiment was proposed when Mega Orwell stated that he wanted to make a clone of George Orwell so that he could live forever within the simulation.

### Nigerian Beanie Baby Scam

In order to gather the funds for the experiment, Mega Orwell ran a Nigerian prince email scam, this scam was able to afford Orwell approximately $700 of untaxed revenue in the form of 28,432 Ty Beanie Babies that he had mailed to him at an undisclosed location. The transaction had to be made with Beanie Babies instead of cash due to the fact that none of the people he was scamming were able to figure out how to take out a 20 dollar bill from an ATM. Each Beanie Baby was sold for 7 dollars and contained a nuclear detonator hidden within so that if anyone caught on to the scam, any evidence could be immediately disposed of and it would kill anyone within a 200km radius.

### Walmart

The experiment began development in 2005 when an abandoned Walmart in Kodiak Alaska was converted into an experimental science laboratory in order to carry out the experiment. This proved difficult with Orwell Industries having to transport expensive scientific equipment from the U.S mainland to Kodiak Island. Eventually in 2007 they discovered that it was easier to move all of their experimental equipment via a large cruise ship instead of using their single company Mercedes-Benz Sprinter with 16 novelty pool floats strung onto it in order to keep it afloat. The Sprinter was only able to transport one piece of equipment successfully, the afformentioned equipment was their Pepsi Beverage Machine that they used to make experimental science liquid and also for the succulent Pepsi colas. Unfortunately the cooling element inside of the Pepsi Beverage Machine was broken on transport and so all of the drinks inside were room all temperature even though the machine was plugged in. The cruise ship was able to successfully transport all of the required equipment used to set up the experimental laboratory.

### The Experiment

On the 20th of April, 2008 the experiment had begun. George Orwell was transported over to Kodiak Island in the interior of the Mercedes-Benz Sprinter van. Eventually once he arrived he was placed within a bathtub and hooked up to an IBM ThinkPad laptop so that it could download the information required to generate George Orwell. This took about 5 weeks to do and George Orwell supposedly drunk 3 bottles of Pepsi, 6 bottles of Mountain Dew: Code Red, and about 70 gallons of unfiltered bath water throughout these 5 weeks. Once the data had been downloaded, the scientists prepared their equipment to summon the clone. This is where everything went wrong, the experiment required the use of the Cesare Formula in order to generate matter out of thin air, however the scientists managed to accidentaly use the De-Cesare Formula instead which lead to the disaster that happend on Monday the 26th of May 2008.

### The Disaster

On Monday the 26th of may 2008 at around 16:27 the scientists activated the machinery they were using to generate the clone. Due to the fact that they had used the De-Cesare formula, when they started the equipment they had created an antispace pocket which rematerialised every atom in the Walmart into negative matter. This negative matter still managed to generate a clone of George Orwell however this clone was an anti-clone, named Geandge Andwell. At 18:43 the Walmart had restabilised back to normal, however the Walmart was time traveled to the year 2004 and all of the scientists and equipment had disappeared, the only thing that remained was the Pepsi Bevarage Machine however it is unknown whether it is the same Pepsi Bevarage Machine or one that had been resummoned from the 2004 Walmart. The Walmart was said to be filled with customers who thought it was 2008. The recently summoned Geandge Andwell left the store at around 19:42 with a trolley filled with Mountain Dew: Baja Blast. In interviews Andwell claims that the trolley was filled with Mountain Dew: Code Red however this is just a result of the Mandella Effect and not based on empirical evidence.

Luckily the disaster didn't destroy the entire simulation due to the fact that the IBM ThinkPad was so terrible that it could only load a small fraction of the De-Cesare Formula before it melted back into crude oil.

### The Aftermath

None of the 63 scientists at the experimental lab were ever found again, but it doesn't really matter because they were really annoying. None of the equipment was able to be recovered either apart from the Pepsi Bevarage Machine, however it is unknown if this is the same Pepsi Bevarage Machine that was transported via the Mercedez-Benz Sprinter.

To this day the Walmart is said to have a strong odor of semen which is likely related to the effects of the anti-matter left by the disaster.

### Trivia

* The Walmart is still open to this day and was the first to include gender neutral bathrooms.
* The Walmart was awarded "The Most Progressive Walmart Award" on the Financial Times article "Top 10 Progressive Walmarts".
* The Walmart hosts an annual Gay Sex Orgy every July 3rd which broke the world record for "Worlds highest density of semen in one building" in 2009.
* The Walmart was awarded "The Highest Annual Semen Density Award" on the Financial Times article "Top 10 Places To See Lots of Semen Annually"