Sir Jack Dapper/Synopsis

## Biography

### Background

Not much is known about Jack's past other than the fact that he was raised by his grandmother.

At some point, Jack got married and had children together, but his wife wasn't happy and soon left him for a left him for a cabana boy half her age, taking their children with her.

### Aincrad Arc

#### Episode 3

One day, Jack was asked to present the "Sword Art Online Christmas Extravaganza", where he would read the audience a story. Jack agreed, thinking it was a normal Christmas Story. When the audience arrived, Jack was playing his DSi. Upon noticing the audience, he welcomes them and promises to tell a touching story of whimsy, adventure, and the true meaning of friendship. He then tells the audience to gather round as he reads them the story of "The Red-Nosed Reindeer".

As soon as Jack started reading, he got confused by the fact that the story started on April 8, 2023, thinking it was an odd starting point for a Christmas story. He told the audience about how Kirito met the Moonlit Black Cats, and how he was subsequently swindled into joining them thanks to Keita's Charisma Hat, followed by Sachi inadvertently starting a fire that kills four people. Jack then explains to the audience that, as time went on, Kirito grew to "tolerate" the Guild, like how "a fat man tolerates the tapeworms in his intestines". This analogy only gets worse as Jack continues, which he acknowledges, stating that "Granny Dapper didn't raise no quitters".

Jack then tells the audience about the time when Sachi ran away, followed by Kirito tracking her down. Sachi then tells Kirito that his unbearable arrogance is why people think he's an asshole, a revelation that shocks him. The two then talk throughout the night, after which Kirito realizes the error of his ways. Jack then breaks the fourth wall to tell the audience that, if they think that's a copout, they get cookie.

Eventually, Jack got to the part of the story where Kirito and his friends got indebted to the Mafia, which resulted in most of them getting brutally killed trying to clear their debt. As Kirito watches on in horror, Sachi tries to reassure him by saying, "This isn't... your fault." However, her lag causes her to repeat the last two words over and over before she finally dies, horrifically traumatizing Kirito.

Jack is caught off guard by how grim Sachi's death was but reassures the audience that there's always a silver lining, as Kirito still has Keita to share his grief with. He then turns the page to a scene of Keita committing suicide by jumping off the edge of Castle Aincrad, presumably out of fear of being killed by the Mafia. Horrified, Jack skips to the Christmas part of the story, stating that, "No one kills themselves on Christmas!", and proceeds to start drinking heavily.

The story then transitions to December 24, 2023, where an info broker tells him that Santa Claus is going to appear under a certain fir tree and give whoever finds him "an item that will give anyone a Merry Christmas". He then runs off to avoid paying the broker. Kirito then goes to retrieve the item, hoping it will heal a weird pain in his chest, only for BallsDeep69 to tell him that he isn't injured, he's sad that all his friends died, something Kirito never even considered. Balls tells Kirito he's heard rumors that the mystery item might be able to resurrect players and offers to hold off the Mafia, who have come to collect their debt. Touched by this act of chivalry, Kirito thanks Balls, calling him by his preferred name, Klein, before running off.

Kirito then arrives at the fir tree the info broker mentioned, just as the clock strikes midnight, and the day transitions into Christmas. Jack then builds up the scene of Kirito meeting Santa Claus, only to find it's a fight to the death with a monstrous Boss named Nicholas the Renegade, much to Jack's confusion. Kirito then rushes into battle, hoping to retrieve the item and see his friends again.

However, Kirito soon discovers that the mystery item is actually a Charisma Hat, the very item that caused all this. Kirito then realizes that forming connections with people only makes it hurt more when they inevitably die and announces to Klein that he has "killed" that part of him forever. He thanks Klein for "freeing [him]", going back to calling him Balls, and leaves. Jack then narrates to the audience that Kirito's heart grew three sizes that day, only for it to implode into a black hole, "from which no love could escape", thus ending the story.

Jack, now drunk, tells the audience that not everyone gets a happy ending, as that's not how the world works. To prove his point, Jack proceeds to drunkenly rant about how his wife left him. He then curses his ex-wife, stating that he still has all his money, before reflecting on how alone he is. Jack begins to tear up, but he immediately interrupts himself when he collapses to the floor and starts vomiting. His butler, Gregory, comforts him, while wishing the audience a Merry Christmas.