Calvin's Big Decision

Illustrated by Tim Heitz

"**Calvin's Big Decision**" is the fourteenth chapter of *Wayside School Is Falling Down*.

## Synopsis

Calvin announces that he's getting a tattoo as a birthday present and asks the class what sort of tattoo he should get.

## Plot

This chapter opens on Calvin's birthday, as he shares cupcakes his mother made with Mrs. Jewls's class. Everyone trades the jelly beans on the cupcakes, when Bebe excitedly asks Calvin to tell the class what he's getting for his birthday, Calvin says he doesn't know. Bebe assures it's the best present, and Mrs. Jewls asks what it is, but Calvin once again says he doesn't know. Eventually, he clarifies: he knows what he's getting, but isn't sure what to get. He explains that usually when he gets toys, they either break or get lost, but this time he intends to get something that will stick with him for the rest of his life. Calvin tells the class he's getting a tattoo, and everyone thinks it's a cool present. A couple of students complain that they couldn't get tattoos, and Calvin says that when he asked before, he wasn't able to get one, but this year, his father will let him. However, he isn't sure what the tattoo should be. Stephen suggests a snake, Deedee suggests an eagle, and Kathy suggests a dead rat, but Calvin still isn't sure.

Calvin states that he can't mess this up, as whatever he will have, he will have for the rest of his life. Jason suggests he could get a naked lady, but Calvin still doesn't know. Allison questions where he'll put the tattoo, and Calvin still isn't sure. Myron says he should put it on his arm, while Todd says he should put it on his chest. Dana also has an idea of where to put the tattoo, but she can't say it. She tells it to Jenny, and they both break out giggling. All day, people continue to give Calvin suggestions, but he just can't decide. Bebe tells Calvin that she can draw a few pictures for him, and if he sees one he likes she can draw it on him for the tattoo artist later, but Calvin still isn't sure. After school, Calvin takes a trip to the tattoo parlor and returns the next day.

When Calvin returns, no one can see his tattoo. Maurecia asks if he got one, and Calvin says he had. Dana gasps, saying she knows where he got it, and she and Jenny start giggling again. Todd asks what tattoo Calvin got, and Calvin claims it was a tough decision. He considered a snake and a leopard fighting, but his dad told him to think about it, claiming that it would be like getting a second nose. If he had two noses, he could breathe through one while the other gets stuffed up. However, Calvin's dad asks if he really wants two noses, and at that point, Calvin made his decision. Calvin pulls up his left pant leg and shows the class his tattoo: a potato, located above his ankle. The other students find Calvin's new tattoo distasteful. Bebe tries to tell Calvin that she wishes she could draw potatoes that well, but she also thinks his tattoo is dumb. Calvin assures that he likes potatoes, and Mrs. Jewls says she'd hope so, Calvin can tell even Mrs. Jewls doesn't like his tattoo either. Everyone gives their suggestions again, telling Calvin what they'd get, but even though Calvin knows his peers don't like his new tattoo, he decides that it doesn't matter. He looks at his potato and smiles, he feels pretty sure that he made the right choice.

## Characters

* Calvin
* Calvin's mother (debut, mentioned)
* Mrs. Jewls
* Dana
* Leslie
* Bebe Gunn
* Jason
* Terrence
* Maurecia
* Dana
* John
* Calvin's father (debut, mentioned)
* Stephen
* Deedee
* Kathy
* Allison
* Myron
* Todd
* Jenny
* Mac

## Trivia

* People in the United States are not actually allowed to get tattoos, not counting the fake ones that simply wash off, until they are eighteen. It's *highly* unlikely that Calvin is that age.
* A passage from this chapter would later be re-used in "Miss Worm Finally Understands!".

## Gallery

Joel Schick illustrationAdam McCauley illustration
### Foreign editions

Peter Allen illustration (UK)Peter Allen second illustration (UK)Satoshi Kitamura illustration (Japan)