Fake TPOT 33: Beyond the Sea

Warning! This page may contain **spoilers** of a popular video.

"**Beyond the Sea**" is the non-canon thirty-third episode of *TPOT* by Jacknjellify. It was released on 23 August 1984. This episode is only headcanon to me, that is, until the real TPOT 2 comes out, after which it splits from the rest of the series to become an alternate universe. This episode was known by many other titles when it was being created.

Author's note: (SPOILER) This is going to be really controversial because of who I've chosen to be eliminated. I can feel it. This character had a really big chance of making it to the merge. (Some even predicted a victory for said character!) But... it is what it is. I'll make a blog post on it one day.

Description if this were on YouTube:

Gosh, the EXIT seems like a scary place. I never want to be eliminated in BFB and get sent to the EXIT. I sure wish there could be an exit to the EXIT. Why am I mentioning the EXIT so much? Because we finally know what happened during its final days.

Previous episode: "Squ̇āshy"

Next episode: "Topendia Tuorum"

## Cold open

### **EXIT**

**Scene**The EXITers are watching the latest footage of TPOT on Bracelety's TV. (As a reminder, they are still watching in the early 1970s, so the EXITers are looking into the future.)
* **St****a****py**: I'm bored.
* **Ma****tch**: Yeah, don't, like, go through that sequence again.
* **St****a****py**: Why not?
* **Ma****tch**: Because you've been saying that for the past, like, brazillion days.

[*Stapy and Firey Jr. look at each other.*]

* **[** **Fir****ey** **Jr****.** · **St****a****py** **]**: I'm bored.
* **Ma****tch**: Aaaaaaaah!
* **Bracel****ety**: Match, please sit down.
* **Ma****tch**: Whatever.

[*Match sits down and watches the footage.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Omg, did anyone else see that?
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: What?
* **St****a****py**: A desire for escape that only you care about?
* **P****e****nci****l**: No. Tree called Pen *toey* in the last episode.
* **Ma****tch**: That was, like, a brazillion days ago.
* **P****e****nci****l**: And yet I still think about it. What does *toey* even mean?
* **Ma****tch**: It means ready to watch bowling.

[*Pencil slowly turns her head towards Match.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: How do you know that, pray tell?
* **Ma****tch**: So there I was, dating this Australian guy—
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: *Uuuggggggghh!*
* **Ma****tch**: Shame me all you want, you, like, immature child, but I'll have you know that they all treat me, like, well.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: I wasn't shaming you. [*Aside, to Stapy.*] That comes later.

[*Firey Jr. and Stapy giggle in the background. Match throws a paper aeroplane made out of an algebra assignment at them.*]

* **Ma****tch**: The answers are wrong so you can't, like, copy me.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Well, I just want to escape.
* **P****e****nci****l**: So you *admit* it's not just me who wants to get out of here.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: What are you talking about? Dora wants to escape. Right?
* **Do****ra**: Dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada; dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada. [*Subtitles: "This question cannot be answered right now; I'll get back to you in a few millennia."*]
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Besides, I miss Liy's sarcasm. Compared to her, y'all are garbage.
* **P****e****nci****l**: [*shushes Firey Jr. from her seat*] Shh, the fight's starting!
* **8****-****Ball**: What fight?
* **P****e****nci****l**: The one between Puffball and Aresko. They're still here.
* **8****-****Ball**: Yes, they weren't eliminated last episode because Two and Five were protesting. [*Beat.*] I don't have a favourite number, but it was something like that.
* **P****e****nci****l**: I keep forgetting, who's Aresko again?
* **Ma****tch**: The tall guy that low-key wants to, like, be my brother.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Ah. Then I hope he wins.
* **8****-****Ball**: [*imitating Pencil*] Shh, the fight's starting.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Why, you...

### **Outside the hotel**

**Scene**The contestants are gathered as they usually are before Cake at Stake. **Aresko** and **Puffball** are in the middle of the field, preparing for their sparring match as **Fries** plays referee. He even wears a bowtie and a black and white cap. Enter **Donut**, who eyes Fries strangely.
* **Donut**: Nice fancy dress. You're not going through with this, are you?
* **F****r****i****e****s**: I'm doing this out of peer pressure.
* **Donut**: Well, suit yourself... or whatever that's meant to be. [*points at Fries' hat*]
* **Ar****esko**: Don-o, you're just a hater.
* **F****r****i****e****s**: In five! Four! Three! Two!

[*Puffball vomits rainbows on Aresko, making him fall down.*]

* **Ar****esko**: Ah! What the heck, Puffball?
* **Puffball**: The rules say that the first person to fall over loses. You fall, you lose! ♫ Ha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a, ha! ♫
* **Li****y**: Puffball, that's not how you do a victory cry. I would know, 'cause I'm familiar with such things.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Aren't you descended from Vikings?
* **Li****y**: *Sju.*
* **Puffball**: Oh, I can do a victory cry.

[*Puffball floats over to Aresko.*]

* **Ar****esko**: Wait, don't—
* **Puffball**: In your face! In your *non–time-travelling face!* In your...

[*Puffball turns around to see some of the contestants watching her, silent or confused.*]

* **Puffball**: Oh, zoot.
* **F****r****i****e****s**: Puffball, please tell me you didn't—
* **Puffball**: [*agitated*] Don't say anything.

[*Bok walks up to Puffball with an expression of suspicion.*]

* **B****o****k**: Um, Puffball, are you implying that you're a time traveller?
* **Puffball**: What is this, *59 Minutes*? I'm no time traveller; I come from the same era as all you #squadgoals.
* **B****o****k**: Okay! [*about to walk away*]
* **Puffball**: No, wait, that was a lie. [*sigh*] And I can't lie to y'all. Yes, I am a time traveller. [*sees the shocked expressions of a crowd forming*] Yes, I come from a year in the far future; that's where I go when the show's done, and that's why none of you can reach me during hiatuses.
* **P****i****n**: So there *is* a time traveller among us!
* **Co****i****ny**: Called it!
* **Winner**: But why would you lie to us?
* **Puffball**: Because time-travelling is totally rare.
* **Golf Ball**: And hovering, changing colour and speaking polyphonically is not?
* **Puffball**: Yeah, but those are cool. Aïyiiiii... Of all the contestants who were ever here, there are three that are from a legit different time. Now, I won't give away the second guy's name, but it starts with a *T* and ends in a *V*.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: [*Aside.*] Must be either TV or Tennis Ballv.
* **S****aw**: Wow, this is, like, insane news.
* **Baske****t****ball**: We should have been more understanding.
* **Donut**: Understanding? This is new stuff, hot off the press! Please, tell us more, Puffball.
* **Puffball**: As for the third person who has time travelled to be in the show, that's—

[*Huc teleportat* **Two**, *with* **Five** *on their back. They immediately zap* **Aresko** *and* **Puffball** *away into the Filing Cabinet, to the surprise of everyone. They haven't seen either Two or Five since the end of the last contest. Enter* **Price Tag** *with a neutral expression on their face.*]

* **Two**: And Aresko and Puffball are eliminated! Thanks for telling me, Taggy.
* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: Yeah, three months ago.
* **Everyone**: Ò!
* **Five**: Can I get a burger? I'm tired of eating books.
* **Two**: Then let us go to the restaurant.
* **Five**: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[**Two** *and* **Five** *go back inside the hotel. The intro then plays:*]

## Pre–Cake at Stake

### **Outside the hotel**

**Scene**Back to 1984, the present day. The contestants are playing, frolicking and whatever, when *huc teleportat* **Two**, with **Five** on their back.
* **Five**: [*speaking in reverse*] Aohw, aohw, aohw! Haey, haey, haey!

[*Five notices all the contestants looking at them.*]

* **Five**: I mean... Get off me, Two. [*gets off Two's back*]
* **Two**: Now that that's settled, it's time for Cake at Stake, so... get up there, all of you! [*points to the hotel*]

[*Exeunt omnes, talking at the same time. Manet* **Price Tag**.]

* **Two**: Taggy, *all of you* is inclusive of people with a typeface for a face.
* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: I know, I know, and... what? Anyway, I was just wondering if everything was alright with you two.
* **Two**: Everything is alright with me, *Two*. Now please go upstairs for Cake at Stake.
* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: But you haven't been at your desk for a hundred days; a minority of us were worried! Is this all about the Objects' Revolution? Because I'm sure that it had at least some impact on you, right?
* **Two**: Eeeeeeeerrrrrr...
* **Five**: [*Aside.*] I think we should tell them.
* **Two**: But...
* **Five**: Please?
* **Two**: Okay. [*sigh*] Taggy, Five and I were in the library.
* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: Doing what?
* **Two**: Research.
* **Five**: [*pointing at the hotel*] And that's all you need to know.
* **Two**: We were in the history section.
* **Five**: [*Aside.*] Must they know more?

[*Silence.*]

* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: That's my hint to go up, isn't it?
* **Five**: Yep!
* **Two**: Thank you!

[*Exit* **Price Tag**. **Two** *and* **Five** *follow them.*]

### **Hotel roof**

**Scene****Two** and **Five** have gathered the contestants for Cake at Stake. Sitting on the floor are the members of the winning team, **The Squishy Bunch**, while on the poorly drawn platforms are the members of the team up for elimination, **Namely Ties**.
* **Two**: Well, well, well. Looks like it's the first time where there is only one team up for elimination. That's not really becoming for a network series, is it?
* **F****r****i****e****s**: And it only took us until the third episode of the act. Wow.
* **Five**: Excuse me, but it's *my* job to hold Two accountable during Cake at Stake.
* **Two**: Anyway, we got [*number*] votes this time! If you're safe, you get this!

[*Five shows the audience and the contestants nine enlarged versions of the "fill" button from Microsoft Paint.*]

* **Donut**: What is that?
* **Two**: They're fill buckets.
* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: It looks like one of those buckets you see on those computer— [*realizes*] Oranges, okay? Don't stare, I'm not one of them.
* **Two**: Right. Anyway, Taggy, you'll be proud to know that you received the most votes. You're safe!
* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: I am proud. Thanks, Two!

[*As they do with all the other contestants declared safe, Two throws a magic paint bucket at Price Tag.*]

* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: Oof!
* **Two**: And so are Golf Ball and Winner.

[*The two of them catch their fill buckets.*]

* **Winner**: Thank you.
* **Two**: Snowball the Strong, Scary and Silently Saintly, you are also safe.

[*Snowball breathes out of his* *nostrils* *and catches his fill bucket. Spotlight effect on Basketball, Clock, Donut, Fries and Tennis Ball.*]

* **Two**: Now half of you are safe, and half of you are not.
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: Actually, it's more like four-ninths of us are safe, and five-ninths are not.
* **Two**: Tennis Ball!
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: Whoops.
* **Two**: You're also safe.

[*Five tosses him his fill bucket.*]

* **Two**: As are Basketball and Clock. Or Clock and Basketball, if you're into that vintage stuff.
* **C****l****o****c****k**: What vintage stuff?
* **Baske****t****ball**: The Announcer called our names at the same time in BFDI 18.
* **C****l****o****c****k**: I see.

[*Five tosses them their fill buckets.*]

* **Two**: And now it's down to Fries and Donut. Both are food, both competed in BFDIA... and both might be sent to the Filing Cabinet. Not that I'm implying that there will be a quadruple elimination today, but there's a chance that one out of the two of you will be sent off in the most glorious zaptastical way ever!
* **Five**: *WOOOOOOOOO! FOOTBAAAAAALL!*
* **F****r****i****e****s**: What.
* **P****i****n**: [*from the audience*] Oh no, Coiny! It doesn't matter who will go home; we will be losing a good friend!
* **Co****i****ny**: Hmm... I'm betting on Donut. He *was* the host for BFB episodes 6, 7, 8 and some of 9!
* **F****r****i****e****s**: They never gave me that chance, you know.
* **Two**: And the last person safe in this Cake at Stake of the 33rd (that's 22 with the two *2*'s changed to *3*'s) of *The Power of Two*... Fries!

[*Five throws a fill bucket at Fries, who is too shocked to catch it.*]

* **F****r****i****e****s**: Seriously?
* **Donut**: Seriously?
* **Winner**: I am so sorry for you, Donut.
* **Donut**: No, it's fine. Starting today, I am retired from the competition. [*takes a deep breath out*]
* **Winner**: That's the spirit!
* **Two**: It's time for you to go now, Donut.
* **Donut**: But I had a speech and everything! [*shows Two a scroll*] Well... it's still Barf Bag's speech, but I spoke to her on the phone in case I did get eliminated, and she said I could do her speech for her. So... will you let me do it?
* **Two**: [*happy*] Nope!
* **Five**: Too bad!
* **Donut**: [*recycled line*] No, *AAAAAAA—*

[*Two zaps* **Donut** *to the Filing Cabinet. The other contestants start to instinctively go downstairs for the challenge.*]

## Post–Cake at Stake

* **F****r****i****e****s**: Great, now our team has got no good leaders.
* **C****l****o****c****k**: Eh-*em*.
* **F****r****i****e****s**: Clock, I strongly suggest you get whatever's in your throat checked out.
* **C****l****o****c****k**: *Gé-erre-erre-erre-erre...*
* **F****r****i****e****s**: What, it's my birthday tomorrow!

### **Back of the hotel**

**Scene**The death-preventing faction of The Squishy Bunch (**Black Hole**, **Liy**, **Pen**, **Remote** and **Tree**) are gathering by the pay phones at the back of the hotel. Tree is on the phone while the others sit near him. (Tennis Ball is also on the phone with a clipboard in the background.)
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: It's so strange to say this, but 1984 has been a very good year so far.
* **Li****y**: Why's that so strange?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Because this year bears the same name, as that scary Earth novel.
* **Li****y**: Mm-hmm.

[*Remote nods in agreement.*]

* **P****en**: What novel?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: *Life & Times of Michael H*, Pen. /s [*Beat.*] But no, the reason I'm happy, is that our business has been doing very well lately. Or at least that's what I think.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Tell him, Liy.
* **Li****y**: Yeah, we've been making a lot of money. And what's even more important: I've finally got in touch with someone from every country in the world!
* **P****en**: Hey, that's terrific!
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: That's why she's been on the phone every night.
* **Li****y**: Just another business call. I've yet to meet a customer that *can* wait to get their hands and/or feet or lack of them on these guys' products. If it weren't for them, the world would be a less creative place.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: [*points at Black Hole*] This one calls me "the idea machine".
* **P****en**: Certainly sounds like you're having a heck of a time there. Hey, Black Hole, d'ya think you might be able to—
* **Li****y**: [*imitating Pen*] "To get me a job in your company, buddy?" [*as herself*] You're saying *you* would be willing to give up a life of fruitless hedonism and self-indulgence with the average Z-list celebrity's earnings just to work in our office every single break until the end of *The Power of Two*?

[*Pen looks up in slight horror.*]

* **P****en**: On second thought, I could just be the face of the brand. [*smiles*]
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Thanks, but no thanks. I'm already a bit of an expert in smiling in the face of death.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: And he means it.

[*Enter* **Tree**, *panic-stricken.*]

* **T****r****e****e**: G- guys...
* **Li****y**: Oh gosh.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Tree, you look upset.
* **P****en**: What's goin' on, boss?
* **T****r****e****e**: My daughter.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: What?
* **Li****y**: Did something happen to Georgy?
* **T****r****e****e**: She's in hospital.

[*Surgunt omnes.*]

* **P****en**: Oh, gosh, Tree, I'm so sorry.
* **T****r****e****e**: Sh- she was in some accident and the doctors are... I don't know; I just... I just have to get out of here. I've got to go back to Australia for a while.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: You're abandoning us?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: It's his daughter, Remote.

[*Tree nods.*]

* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Then I will help you pack.
* **P****en**: Yeah, me too!
* **T****r****e****e**: Can you please just do all that for me? I need to ask Two if it's okay if I go; the sooner, the better.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Right, yeah, we can do that for you.
* **T****r****e****e**: Thanks.

[*Exeunt* **Black Hole**, **Liy**, **Pen** *and* **Remote**.]

* **T****r****e****e**: [*sighs to himself*] And now for the question of the day...

### **Front of the hotel**

**Scene**Jump cut to Tree talking to **Two** and **Five**, who look at him with a stern expression.
* **Two**: No.
* **T****r****e****e**: What do you mean I can't leave the set? My daughter is in a lot of pain! They're not telling me anything, but I'm afraid she'll never be able to photosynthesize again.
* **Two**: You still can't leave. We have never let anybody leave the competition area because of an event outside our control, and we shall continue not to let them.
* **Five**: Facts.
* **T****r****e****e**: Come on! [*pointing at some of the other contestants*] Bok couldn't do the twenty-sixth challenge because she was in jail. Snowball missed most of '81 because he was boinking Lightning. And Saw was on a *scent cleanse!*
* **S****aw**: [*in the background*] Yeah!
* **Two**: The official answer is *no*.
* **Li****y**: [*off-screen*] See, Tree Leigh!

[*Enter* **Black Hole**, **Liy**, **Pen** *and* **Remote**, *smiling wistfully at what looks like the world's largest briefcase. Tree pogs.*]

* **T****r****e****e**: Is that my port? Why is it so huge?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: The three light ones used my gravitational influence, to take your whole section of the room, and stuff it into your suitcase.
* **T****r****e****e**: Wow, all, that's... that's really nice of you to do that, thanks. But I've just been told that I'm not allowed to go.
* **Two**: I shan't let him!
* **Li****y**: Tree, can I talk to you in private?
* **T****r****e****e**: I don't know, *can* you?

[*Just like in TPOT 29, Liy grabs Tree by the arm and takes him to near the front of the hotel.*]

* **T****r****e****e**: Ow.
* **Li****y**: Who the *frick* cares what those numbers have to say? If your love for your daughter is stronger than Pen's love for his reflection, Remote's love for batteries and Black Hole's love for spouting useless facts about himself, then you simply cannot stay here; I won't let it! Without a doubt, you are going to leave this place with dignity!
* **P****en**: And style!
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Useless?
* **T****r****e****e**: But I can't just break the rules. What kind of example would I be setting for my students?
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: You're already a good example to one of them.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Yeah, I bet a certain Mr. Gregg McIntyre will be waiting for you at the hospital.
* **T****r****e****e**: [*stamps his foot heroically*] You're right. I'd better go.
* **P****en**: You got this, champ!
* **T****r****e****e**: I will see you guys later. Peace.

[**Tree** *lifts his suitcase, gives a nod of farewell to his friends and, before Two and Five can react, leaves the set to go out into the real world. Exeunt* **Remote** *and* **Black Hole** *together.*]

* **P****en**: I love you!
* **Li****y**: You fool, he's taken.
* **P****en**: Can't a guy love his bros, Liy? I love you too, as a matter of fact.
* **Li****y**: [*deadpan*] Yeah, the more you say it, the less meaning it has. I'm going to see if those burgers Five was talking about really exist. Catch you later, ink machine.

[**Liy** *gives Pen a friendly pat on the head and goes into the hotel, leaving him alone outside.*]

* **P****en**: [*nemini loquens*] "Stronger than his love for his reflection", eh?

[*Beat. Wide view of him standing outside the hotel (with the others in the background) as he turns around and smiles at himself in the glass.*]

* **P****en**: Man, I'm handsome.

## EXITers' scenes

### **EXIT**

**Scene**This episode will play out a bit differently from normal. Yes, there will be a challenge, but the eliminated contestants of old BFB are the centre of the remainder of this episode.—In this scene, everyone is still watching the TPOT episode as it plays on Bracelety's television; **Pencil** sits the closest to it and raises her hands in jubilation.
* **P****e****nci****l**: *Yes, you are, baby! Hallelujah, I just love you so!*
* **Bracel****ety**: Pencil, that borders on simp-like behaviour!
* **P****e****nci****l**: As if you don't say the same thing about Ice Cube every single day.
* **8****-****Ball**: When she made her cameo in episode 30, you practically exploded.
* **Bracel****ety**: I sure did, and thanks for reminding me! It's ***ICE CUBE TIME!***

[**Bracelety** *huffs and puffs as she runs into the other room. The others watch, knowing that she is off to her Ice Cube shrine.*]

* **St****a****py**: It must be fun to be venerated.
* **8****-****Ball**: Weirdo.
* **David**: Aww, seriously?

[*Pencil gets up and starts pacing around the room.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Pencil?
* **P****e****nci****l**: I can't take it, guys, we *have* to escape!
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: No chiz, Catholic obvious.
* **P****e****nci****l**: You know what? I'm going to get Four's attention so we can all get out of here. [*Pause.*] *Catholic* obvious?
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Yes, I said it. Don't you make me confess, you blobfish, 'cause I'm a Pentecostal. I think.
* **8****-****Ball**: Pencil, how exactly will you get Four's attention? He comes into this classroom whenever he wants.
* **P****e****nci****l**: And I shout whenever I want. ***FOOOOOOOUUUUUR!!***

[*Everyone gasps.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Um, Penc-penc? I don't think you should be, like, invoking the name of—*ah!*

[*Huc teleportat* **Four**. *If there were a studio audience present, they would be cheering madly—this is this number's first real-time appearance since TPOT 18.*]

* **Four**: You called?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Four, I can't believe I'm saying this, but... I'm glad you came!
* **Four**: I'm glad you called me, Pencil. In all my years of teaching part-time, no one has ever called me over here before. This is a happy day!
* **David**: Aww, seriously?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Yeah, well, um... [*pretending to be sympathetic*] Hosty dearest, do you mind if we...
* **Four**: [*deadpan*] What, leave this smelly hole?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Er... yes.

[*Silence.*]

* **Ma****tch**: So to clarify, I'd, like, like to leave this place too.
* **Four**: This smelly hole?
* **Ma****tch**: Like, yessss.
* **St****a****py**: Why do you keep saying "smelly hole"?
* **Ma****tch**: Because you're in here, Stapy.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: [*Aside.*] It's funny because that phrase can be interpreted dirtily!
* **St****a****py**: Shh. Some things we only laugh at on the inside when in the presence of eldritch abominations.
* **Four**: I heard that. Anyway, you asked if you could be let out of the EXIT, is that correct?

[*Enter* **Bracelety**, *who has blue kiss marks over her forehead. No one notices. They're all entranced by Four's staring at them.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: I mean, now that you're here, and you're staring at us, and it's a bit creepy... You don't have to say yes if you don't want to; why, you can keep us in here until the universe ends—
* **Bracel****ety**: ***Let us out!***
* **Four**: Okey-dokey!

### **Four's place**

**Scene**A background of the Kalahari Desert, *i.e.*, where the later parts of post-split BFB took place. The BFDI screaming sound can be heard as **Four** pulls out all of the EXITers from their body. Miraculously, they all land on their feet or whatever and, as this is the first in-person exposure to the real world, they all shout in excitement.
* **St****a****py**: Wheeee!
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: We're out of that hellhole!
* **Do****ra**: Dadadadadadadadada! [*Subtitles: "\*Insulavoric noises of joyousness\*"*]
* **Ma****tch**: Like, wowie wow wow, we're, like, free! This is, like, the greatest day of my, like, life!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Thanks, Bracelety, for telling Four we needed to get out of here.
* **St****a****py**: You can be surprisingly abrupt at times, you and your blueness.
* **Bracel****ety**: It was nothing! Now tell me where Ice Cube is!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Wait a minute, Bracelety. We still don't know where we are.
* **Ma****tch**: Yeah, um... Four, where are we, like?
* **Four**: Welcome, everybody, to my house!

[*The image of the desert zooms out to reveal that the EXITers are standing in Four's mansion. They start to move around and touch Four's things, though Four doesn't seem to care much.*]

* **St****a****py**: Nice crib.
* **8****-****Ball**: I never knew you appreciated object architecture.
* **Four**: I sure do! This is where I've lived ever since the *Battle for BFB* ended several months ago: Hollywood.

[*The camera zooms out to reveal that Four's mansion is in the middle of the Hollywood Hills.*]

* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: You are living large, Four.
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, I've, like, always *wanted* to live in Hollywood. You have no idea how many times I've dreamt of winning an Institute Award.
* **Do****ra**: Dadadadadada. [*Subtitles: "Aww, that's sweet."*]
* **P****e****nci****l**: Wait, are those the dreams where totally clothed sailors throw trophies at you?
* **Ma****tch**: And male dancers.
* **Do****ra**: Dadadadadada. [*Subtitles: "And she's back."*]
* **Four**: Ain't that the truth.
* **St****a****py**: Say, Four, you don't mind if we... um... *stay* in your house for a while, do you?
* **Four**: Oh. Unfortunately, I can't have you do that.
* **St****a****py**: Why not?
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Terrible neighbours? Pesky zoning laws? I know it's Goikyan America, but...
* **Four**: No. It's not because I hate you all; in fact, I really enjoyed your presence in my bosom!

[*Match elbows Pencil.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: *No!*
* **Four**: But you deserve to return to where you were before, with all your friends and family!
* **P****e****nci****l**: All my family are in Goikyan Africa.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: All my family are dead to me.
* **R****o****b****oty**: I don't even have a family.

[*Everyone looks at Roboty.*]

* **Four**: I'm sorry if this comes as a disappointment to you all, but as compensation, please enjoy these purple lollipops I save for visitors!

[*Four hands all the EXITers purple lollipops. Unsurprisingly, they look like Lollipop's asset.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Omg, thank you!
* **Bracel****ety**: We might as well stay here forever if you've got ***ICE CUUUUUBES!***

[*Bracelety screams so loudly that the fancy chandelier starts to lightly swing back and forth.*]

* **Four**: [*angry*] Oh, that's it! [*realizing what he's saying and becoming happy again*] I mean, it is now time to bid you a friendly farewell!
* **St****a****py**: But where would we go?
* **Four**: I don't know; anywhere! Pencil.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Yes?
* **Four**: You were eliminated first, and thus spent the most time in my algebra class. You were in me for four years.
* **P****e****nci****l**: What, no applause?
* **Four**: Now I ask you: Where would you like to go?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Hmm...

[*Pencil looks up to think for a few seconds.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: To be honest, there are so many places in the world I'd love to go.
* **David**: Aww, seriously?
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Just choose already!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Shut up, I'm thinking!

[*Pencil's eyes wander around the room and her eyes gaze upon Four's collection of group pictures of all the contestants in each season. She looks closer and sees an old picture of the BFDI cast from 1963: in it, the "cool kids" (the alliances centred on Pencil and Blocky) are sitting on top of the risers and Pencil and Pen are sat right next to each other—Pen clearly has his arm around Pencil's shoulder and they both look very happy.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Awwww... [*Aloud.*] Four, take us to somewhere blue.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: What?
* **Four**: Blue it is!

[*Four raises their arms to zap the contestants elsewhere: they have learnt to use this power for good only.*]

* **R****o****b****oty**: Wait, Four.
* **Four**: What is it, you who do not talk often?
* **R****o****b****oty**: Before you do anything, can you tell us what day it is today?
* **Four**: It is [*looks at the calendar*] October 27th, 1973.
* **R****o****b****oty**: Hold on, wha—

[*Four teleports the* **former EXITers** *off.*]

* **Four**: [*sigh*] Finally, some peace and quiet.

[*Suddenly, the voice of* **X** *rings out in the background.*]

* **X**: [*off-screen*] Four, can you run the bubble bath?
* **Four**: Coming, Exie-pooh-bear!

[*Exit* **Four**. *If there were a studio audience, they would be applauding loudly.*]

## Pre-contest

### **Front of the hotel**

**Scene****Black Hole** and **Remote** approach the rest of their teammates (**Bok**, **Coiny**, **Pin** and **Saw**) to give them the news.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Hey, team.
* **Co****i****ny**: Hi, Black Hole!
* **S****aw**: It's funny how we never see you guys around here.
* **B****o****k**: Yeah, I don't think we've talked much.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Astute observation, guys. But this is an emergency.
* **P****i****n**: An emergency?
* **Co****i****ny**: If this is a weather emergency, *don't panic!*
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: This is about Tree.

[*The four of them gasp.*]

* **R****e****m****ot****e**: That was my reaction too.
* **P****i****n**: Don't tell me he's in his angst period, distancing himself from everyone to write moody poetry.
* **B****o****k**: Pin, that's not Tree. That's *me*.
* **P****i****n**: Oh yeah.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: No, no. This is about something outside the competition. His daughter.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Tree left for Australia just a few minutes ago.

[*They gasp again.*]

* **S****aw**: Oh no, is Georgy going to be okay?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: I'm sure she will. We just wanted to make you aware, that our team now has one less player.
* **B****o****k**: Well, that's understandable, I suppose.
* **P****i****n**: But now *we're* down a person!
* **Co****i****ny**: It's not so bad; we still have a chance to win this!
* **B****o****k**, **P****i****n**, **S****aw**: *Yeah!*
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: [*quietly*] Yeah.
* **Co****i****ny**: Hey, by the way... what is the contest?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: I have no idea. Let us ask Two.

[*Just like in BFB 13, The Squishy Bunch (without Liy and Pen) quickly go up to Two and Five, who are doing a flamenco dance to a flamenco rock song playing on a flamenco cassette tape.*]

* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Two, tell us what the contest is.
* **Two**: No.
* **Five**: At least wait until we're done dancing, yeah?
* **B****o****k**: Dancing?
* **P****i****n**: [*Aside.*] This should be interesting.

[*Two and Five flamenco dance for five seconds, after which the tape stops and the two hosts high-five each other.*]

* **[** **Two** · **Five** **]**: Done!
* **Five**: Or as they say in *Sevilla*, *"Hecho."* [*pronounced "heech-o"*]
* **Baske****t****ball**: [*off-screen*] That's not even close!
* **Two**: So you want to know what today's contest is?
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Yes, please.
* **Two**: Please excuse us.

[*The Squishy Bunch step back as Two and Five cartoonishly huddle. They speak to one another quietly and in Algebralien, but eventually their conversation gets loud enough for the contestants to get it.*]

* **Two**: *Ni chiramiquéca cacounimino teï sotchimi chira cacounito soramicaïtoca carachitchine.*
* **Five**: *Conaca teï coutchihille caranou! Nranaquéssouï miraca caïririnimiqui moï cacoutchica tchiriri cacounito souïtoïtchissoussocou tétchito harassou miracacounimiquiné, tchissouï nrana?*
* **Two**: *Teïririné, mira, rourourou... conaca ni tocaniriri cacouniminoho—*
* **Five**: *Nrana nomiraté técoutchica? Hanimi-yiné, teï sotchimi chira cacouï tchiricaïssoumitchicaï soramicaïtocarou. Momoho-coumomoné, técouïmi teï qui-yica nica, rourourou...* [*in English*] All because of a circle.
* **B****o****k**: Um, I hate to interrupt you two at a time like this, but what do you mean by *circle*?
* **Co****i****ny**: I hope you're not talking about me.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Or me.
* **S****aw**: Or me! [*Beat.*] My handle used to have a squashed circle in it.
* **Five**: Yeah, no, Two doesn't have the technology for the contest.
* **Two**: I'm supposed to turn the ground into an electronic circle that changes colours when you jump up and down on it.
* **P****i****n**: That sounds like fun.
* **Two**: And totally unfeasible. My powers are a— [*sees the contestants, attentive*] I mean, I don't think I can work on it today.
* **P****i****n**: But don't you have a backup contest?

[*Two and Five look at each other.*]

* **Two**: You see... Five and I were having so much fun in our reading room that we... didn't think of even that.

[*Everyone gasps.*]

* **P****i****n**: Oh. Well, carry on, then.
* **Co****i****ny**: We'll be waiting!
* **Two**: 'Kay-kay.

[*The Squishy Bunch walk off together.*]

* **B****o****k**: All because of a circle.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: It's weird, right?

### **Ocean (EXITers' scene)**

**Scene**The former EXITers are somewhere blue. We don't see exactly where they are at first, as the beginning of the scene is marked by rather close close-ups as the former contestants as they speak.
* **St****a****py**: Pencil, you have to learn to stop being so in love.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Says the hypocrite who whinges for Foldy.
* **St****a****py**: I *know* you only wanted to be surrounded by blue because you were looking at a picture of you and what's-his-name when you were in BFDI.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Got any proof?
* **St****a****py**: Well, I—
* **P****e****nci****l**: No. You don't. Ha.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Hey! Don't sass Mom!
* **P****e****nci****l**: I wasn't sassing him, I was just trying to prove him wrong.
* **St****a****py**: Wait a minute. Firey Jr., you called me Mom again.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: How could I not? I always call you Mom whenever I'm on the verge of death, like right now.
* **Ma****tch**: Omg, stop being so, like, dramatic.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: You'd have every reason to be if water was *your* poison. Chiz, you really are Princess Insensitive.
* **Ma****tch**: So?
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: ***WE ARE IN THE STUPID OCEAN!***

[*View of the former EXITers floating in the sea—water surrounds them for kilometres on all sides. Firey Jr. is sitting on top of 8-Ball.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Well, I do love the, like, seaside. [*Firey Jr. facepalms.*]
* **St****a****py**: But this can't be the ocean; I'm floating.

[*View of under the sea, where the EXITers of a higher density (that is, most of them) can be seen wearing floaties shaped like Four.*]

* **St****a****py**: I think we're in a lake or something.
* **Ma****tch**: No way. This can't be, like, a lake.
* **St****a****py**: How can you be so sure?
* **Ma****tch**: Because if it was, then there'd be, like, fishermen admiring my beauty on every corner.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: [*Aside.*] Yeah, ready to laugh at you. /s
* **Ma****tch**: You know what, Feejee mermaid?
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: *What did you just call me?*
* **Bracel****ety**: Please stop fighting and be quiet! You're angering the sea gods!

[*Pencil looks at Bracelety.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Sea gods?
* **Bracel****ety**: All the good ones! You know, Poseidon, the Naiads, the Nereids... One of them's named *Opis*!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Whoa, I didn't know you knew all that ancient Greek stuff.
* **Bracel****ety**: I don't! I just thought you'd feel better if I named all these characters from Greek mythololololology, because the guy you love is a Goikyan Greek.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Brace, that's very considerate and all, but Pen was never seriously into that.
* **Ma****tch**: Yeah, and we're Jewish.
* **Bracel****ety**: Since when?
* **Ma****tch**: Since— you know what? It doesn't, like, matter. Anyway, I can tell Pencil's getting pretty annoyed, so it would be best if you peoples all, like, kept quiet.
* **8****-****Ball**: That's right.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Thanks, Match.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: You will never silence me!
* **8****-****Ball**: Do you want me to drop you off in the ocean?
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Ò!
* **P****e****nci****l**: Okay, nobody else is allowed to talk until we find a shore where I can leave you all.
* **Ma****tch**: Aww, even, like, me?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Except Match. [*Beat.*] And Bracelety.
* **Bracel****ety**: ***YAAAAAAY!***
* **David**: Aww, seriously?
* **P****e****nci****l**: And David, because you asked so nicely.
* **David**: *No!*

[*Silence.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: There. Now we have no problems whatsoever.
* **Ma****tch**: Where can we get some food?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Ladies and gentlemen, issue #1.

### **Outside the hotel**

**Scene**Meanwhile, with Namely Ties.
* **Baske****t****ball**: Hey, GB! Since Two and Five are still working on our challenge, do you want to help me do some more research?
* **Golf Ball**: But we should be preparing!
* **Baske****t****ball**: Tennis Ball's already finished the recordings.
* **Golf Ball**: If that's the case, let's go to him.

[*Jump cut to* **Tennis Ball**, *who is playing a tape of Snowball saying random things he has been collecting for the past hundred days. The real* **Snowball** *stands in the background.*]

**Sn****owba****ll**: [*on the tape*] ***LONI MIMOLARIS SESE! NOB' EST CECPARE! LALGICANEAM!***
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: [*repeating to himself*] "Lalgi... caneam." Sounds like something from a Korean barbecue.

[*Enter* **Basketball** *and* **Golf Ball**.]

* **Baske****t****ball**: Hey, TB! I got her!
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: Thank goodness, Golf Ball, you're here!
* **Golf Ball**: What did the corpus linguist say?
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: It's undeniably Latinate. [*Basketball looks confused.*] The language Snowball's speaking.
* **Baske****t****ball**: Wow, does he watch our show?
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: Unfortunately, he's too busy looking at old texts to see us. *But...* he used the phoneme frequency of all of Snowball's sounds, compared it to the phoneme frequency of a corpus of Latin-language works from numerous disciplines (expected frequency, of course, since Latin is no longer widely used)... [*Golf Ball nods.*] And he has clearly inferred that that's the language in which Snowball is making his utterances.
* **Baske****t****ball**: Oh. Well, I knew it was Latin all along. But *why is he still dressed as a cardinal?*
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: We don't know.
* **Golf Ball**: You could ask him, Basketball.
* **Baske****t****ball**: I don't know... he might roar in my face and render me inconscient.
* **Golf Ball**: Oh. So there is a problem with that. From an ethical point of view, as well. Although we are what the common people call "big-brain energy people", we are still expected to treat our object subject, *i.e.*, Snowball, as if he were an actual person, and not a Stone Age relic dressed up ceremoniously.

[*All sigh.*]

* **Baske****t****ball**: Wait, who calls us "big-brain energy people"?
* **Golf Ball**: Price Tag. The only person who has dared to call us that.
* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: #Busted!

[*All turn around.*]

* **Baske****t****ball**: I think I have an idea.
* **Golf Ball**: [*excited*] Apply the same ethical standards for animal experiments to our Snowball study?
* **T****e****nnis Ba****l****l**: That doesn't seem right, even for you.
* **Golf Ball**: Yes, it does! [*Pause.*] Doesn't it?

[*Tennis Ball and Basketball shake their heads.*]

* **Baske****t****ball**: No... Besides, I was talking about the contest!
* **Golf Ball**: Oh. [*Beat.*] As a contestant, I am all metaphorical ears. As a researcher, I am deeply embarrassed. Please pretend I never suggested that.

## Contest

### **Outside**

**Scene**Around sunset. The contestants are gathered in the middle of the field to find out what this episode's contest (now a few hours overdue) is. Enter **Two** and **Five**. **Basketball** follows far behind them, but she scurries to her place on the team when she becomes visible.
* **Two**: Attention, everyone!

[*Soni exspectati.*]

* **Two**: It is now time for your 33rd challenge!
* **Five**: That's eleven more than 22nd!
* **Golf Ball**: So we've heard. Now tell us what our challenge is, Two!
* **Two**: I was going to, until you impolitely interrupted me, GB! [*rubs her head*] Silly little globule.

[*Golf Ball gives Two a dirty look.*]

* **Two**: In today's... [*turns around and looks at the setting sun*] Tonight's contest, you have to find out which of you is from another time period. We've all heard Puffball admit during Cake at Stake that there are three people who travel through time just to get here: herself, someone whose name begins with a *T* and ends in a *V*, and another person whose name we don't know... until a few seconds from now!
* **Five**: That's exactly what you must do for this contest. Find out who the third person is!

[*Price Tag scoots backwards a bit.*]

* **C****l****o****c****k**: What kind of contest is that?
* **Winner**: No offence, Two, but that sounds like something that was made up on the spot.
* **Two**: You're right! But Five and I couldn't have come up with this contest if it weren't for the helpful ideas of...

[*Basketball shakes her head so that it doesn't look like the challenge is biased.*]

* **Two**: An anonymous person.
* **S****aw**: [*Aside.*] Hey, Bok, you published poems under that name!
* **B****o****k**: I did, didn't I?
* **Two**: The first person to tell me the name of that person, the second known time traveller amongst you, wins the challenge, and the team to which they do not belong loses. Simple as that!
* **Five**: Your challenge begins... right now.

[*Almost immediately after Five says this...*]

* **R****e****m****ot****e**: It's Taggy. [*points to the back of the group*]
* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: *What?*
* **Baske****t****ball**: Yeah, what?
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: Taggy. Price Tag Behtash. That's the name of the time traveller.
* **Baske****t****ball**: No fair, Remote! We were going to say that!
* **Two**: And with that, The Squishy Bunch win! And Namely Ties are up for elimination.

[*Namely Ties start to complain at the same time.*]

* **Golf Ball**: That is far from fair; you did not even ask Price Tag if time traveller status was applicable!
* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: Yeah, no one asked me!
* **Two**: Alright, Taggy, since nobody has asked you yet, I'll take it from here: Are you... a time traveller?
* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: [*sigh*] If I lie, you'll find out eventually. Yes, I am a time traveller, whoop-dee-doo. I just happen to live with my ancestors' family in a total mindfrick.
* **F****r****i****e****s**: Am I the only one who's actually living in 1984?
* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: I'm living! [*Aside.*] At least until I get eliminated.

## Post-contest

* **P****i****n**: So how did you find out?
* **Co****i****ny**: 'Cause Remote's a mechanical mind; that's why!
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: That is true, and also because it seemed very obvious. I don't like to admit that I often eavesdrop on people, but I have compiled every word Price Tag has spoken since I met them twelve years ago into a virtual concordance, and compared it to that of Puffball. From these I have found a high match for both corpora.
* **Golf Ball**: [*in the background*] Darn corpus linguistics!
* **Li****y**: Wow, Remote, it's almost like you were doing magic.
* **R****e****m****ot****e**: It is. Computer magic.
* **Co****i****ny**: Gosh, you really know your stuff.
* **B****l****a****ck H****o****l****e**: Well, that and it's because Taggy always likes to say the word *hashtag*. Unless it's part of their cultural matrix, about which I've got nothing else to say.
* **P****i****n**: Hey, Taggy, are hashtags native to your language?
* **P****ri****c****e Tag**: [*proudly*] Nope!

### **Voting screen**

**Scene****Two** and **Five** stand in front of a screen that shows the people up for voting.
* **Two**: Vote in the comments using the letter and square brackets for who you don't want to be eliminated! Vote for who you want to stay! The person with the fewest votes will leave the show!

[*As the credits roll.*]

* **Five**: This contest sucked.
* **Two**: At least there was a contest.
* **Five**: [*sigh*] True.

[*Roll credits.*]

## Stinger

### **Ocean**

**Scene**Night. In fact, it is the night of 27 October 1973, the day the post-EXITers were released from Four and left to drift indefinitely in the sea. Firey Jr. continues to sit on top of 8-Ball's head.
* **Ma****tch**: I'm so hungry.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Hang in there, people, we'll probably reach the shore... [*squints and looks at the landless horizon*] In a couple of centuries.
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Ugggggggh.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Firey Jr., are you, like, becoming a teenager or something?
* **Fir****ey** **Jr****.**: Excuse you, I'm about 19! I think.
* **St****a****py**: He won't stop groaning because this is the farthest anyone's ever taken him.
* **8****-****Ball**: Same here. I'm starting to forget what life is like outside the EXIT.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Er... you're living in it?
* **8****-****Ball**: Why do you assume I'm not already dead?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Just... whatever. And quit it with the negativity, will you? It's apparently a new year and the moon's shining bright.

[*Pencil looks up at the moon.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Omg, now I want something to eat, too!
* **8****-****Ball**: Why would staring at the moon make you hungry?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Oh, it's just some repressed childhood memory. Have your parents ever left you on a celestial body that wasn't yours?
* **8****-****Ball**: No.

[*Awkward silence as Pencil looks at the other post-EXITers.*]

* **P****e****nci****l**: Hey, Dora!
* **Do****ra**: Dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada; dadadada, dadadadadadadadadadadada! [*Subtitles: "My existence is being acknowledged; oh, joy, oh, rapture unforeseen!"*]
* **P****e****nci****l**: You take on characters easily!
* **8****-****Ball**: What gave you that impression?
* **P****e****nci****l**: [*Aside.*] Shh, just roll with it. [*Aloud.*] Er, Dora, pretend to be Rocky.
* **Do****ra**: Dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada. [*Subtitles: "But I don't want to be Rocky."*]
* **P****e****nci****l**: You must!
* **Do****ra**: Dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada, dadadadadadadadadada. [*Subtitles: "Force worketh not on creatures such as I, you besotting fool!"*]
* **P****e****nci****l**: It's not working. David, as my unofficial assistant, I want you to tell Dora to become Rocky.
* **David**: Aww, seriously?

[*David turns around.*]

* **David**: Aww, seriously?
* **Do****ra**: *DADADADADADADADADADADA!* [*Subtitles: Untranslatable.*]

[*Dora does not do anything else.*]

* **Ma****tch**: Well, that didn't work.
* **P****e****nci****l**: Er-ee-yeah! [*sigh*] 'Kay, David, how about you tell her *not* to become Rocky? [*Aside, to Match.*] Reverse psychology doesn't exactly work well on Doras.
* **David**: [*to Dora*] Aww, seriously?
* **Do****ra**: Dadadada. [*Subtitles: "Shelter my eyes from the sun and wait for the birds to fly by."*]
* **P****e****nci****l**: Was that okay? I- I'm going to pretend it was.
* **Ma****tch**: Penc-penc, how will turning Dora into Rocky, like, give us food?
* **P****e****nci****l**: Don't you know anything about your rocks and Doras, Match? Just watch!

[*Just like that, Dora turns into Rocky, although she keeps her name.*]

* **Do****ra**: Bulleh!

[*Dora vomits up a floating island big enough to hold nine people.*]

* **8****-****Ball**: [*deadpan*] Get to planting, limbed fools.
* **Ma****tch**: We'll eat as soon as we've forgotten where this island, like, comes from. [*shudders*]
* **P****e****nci****l**: Mm-hmm.

[*Silence as everyone stands around awkwardly, but smiling because they don't have to keep swimming.*]

**THE END**
## Deleted scenes

* Tree's use of sarcasm during a time of extreme distress might not be so well-received or in character for him. Thus this line was taken out:

**T****r****e****e**: No, Pen, I'm happy as a jaybird. /s Or however you say it.
**P****en**: [*crossing his arms*] Well.

* Match was going to make a joke about how the word "venerated" sounds like "venereal". Then I realized that 1984 is sort of in the middle of the AIDS crisis so I didn't find that line all that funny any more.
* My original draft for the first ocean scene got deleted because my computer was acting up again. Okay, that's a lie—I forgot to save the Notepad file when my laptop shut down.
* The challenges of episodes 33 and 34 were swapped! That explains a lot of things:
	+ Two and Five mentioning how they stayed in the history section of their library.
	+ The "cake" at Cake at Stake being fill buckets, which would make no sense in this contest.
	+ The next episode, which used to be called "The Guest Worker" (and not this one).
* The stinger was originally going to be Remote and TV talking to each other, as opposed to the post-EXITers. (That's actually a good name for them.)

## Notes

1. ↑ From most to least recent, these titles are "**SSS (Stupid Sea School)**", "**Stupid Sea School**", "**Over the Bright Blue Sea**", "**Dancing and Burling**", "**Dancing in Berlin**" and the oldest one of all, "**The EXIT Chronicles**". That was what I called this episode before its plot was moved to the first half of episode 24.
2. ↑ **BFDI 18**: 4:23.
3. ↑ Latin for "All stand up".
4. ↑ Hey, that's the same date as
5. ↑ Don't worry, Four and X will appear later this act.
6. ↑ In English:

	* **Two**: I don't think we can do this contest today.
	* **Five**: But we have to! You're not telling me that all this research was for nothing, are you?
	* **Two**: Well, no... but I still think—
	* **Five**: You know what? Fine, we can do the alternate contest. Mm-hmm, when we get it...

**Fake TPOT** [V]