It’s Lord Ghargh and Sir Fluffy Bob to you!

Hahahaha….Fluffy Bob new name is Sir Fluffy Bob.  And Ghargh is Lord.  We are fancy now!

Ghargh went back to goblin castle with friends.  Goblin castle with unfunny goblin Sarina thinks is funny, but that goblin not there anymore. So this time Sarina actually help fight. But not funny blue guy. He die. He die saving people. Ghargh sad but is ok.  I have Fluffy Bob!

Most of castle is empty. Not like last time.  We find a bunch of empty rooms.  Bad rooms.  Smelly, wet, rotten rooms.  Artemis fell through one floor. It was funny. And Teres kept touching electric door.  She touch it once and wait until it recharge to touch again.

And people say Ghargh not smart. HA!

We find lots of books and broken plates but Ghargh not really care.  He let friends take things. But I do get shield to help protect Fluffy Bob from fireballs. Funny-talking thing that Ghargh think might be some god always saying he gonna kill Fluffy Bob with fire. So Ghargh take shield.  Ghargh see fire - Ghargh cover Fluffy Bob.  HA!  Try to kill Fluffy Bob now funny-sounding sky voice!

We find some goblins. They all hiding in the big middle room.  I think maybe they goblin boy band ‘cause all look same but have different names. I don’t know. But one threw poop at Ghargh.  WHO DOES THAT?!  It smelled so bad.  Goblin rotten inside. Must eat too much TacoBell.  He keep trying to make Sarina poop herself but she a lady and not eat TacoBell.

While Sarina and Poop goblin fight, I try fight one of the boyband goblins (I dont remember which one. They all same). But I so angry from having poop thrown at me I can’t even hit goblin!  And goblin so angry we interrupt band practice, he no hit either.   We instead interpretive dance our feelings until everyone get mad Ghargh no helping.

Not my fault guys. I have Fluffy Bob and he give me charisma. It make me more charming.  Dancing is charming.  It just how it is. Sheesh.  But Artemis getting tired of the fight and he yell, “FUCK ALL YOU BITCHES!” and suddenly all goblins get hurt!  Dad always said “Words can’t hurt you”.  Dad lied.  Ghargh need remember to not make Artemis angry!

After we kill all the stinky, obnoxious goblins we go upstairs.  We find one room with a toy an inn.  It so detailed and fancy. Sarina and Teres touch it and suddenly they disappear! So what we do?  WE GO TOO!  I don’t know who thought that good idea, but we do it.  Inn was weird. Bartender might be broken robot. Outside is blackest black ever. Ghargh scared. We all get scared. We shouldn’t be here. Luckily Sarina yells “Goodbye” and we all return.  I don’t like that toy.

Last room we open door and is not a room. Is hot, white light. So what we do?  We go running into that too!  Inside is all red and flashy with floating islands, but not island in water. Islands in empty fire. Ghargh never see anything like this. This place full of hyenas.  So many hyenas. And only thing that works is the chain I got.  Oh, Ghargh got a pretty, spiked chain.  I can spin it above head and throw at things far away. Is fun. Ghargh like cowboy. Yee heeeeeee.

We fight and fight but hyenas keep coming.  Also big skeleton things. FInally we kill all hyenas and skeletons and everyone tired and stops fighting but me. Most lay down. Sarina just stands there.  Seriously you guys?  Ugh. Ok. Fluffy Bob and I go save day and fight witch. Luckily Sarina finally decide to move, but wait until witch almost dead.   But at least she isn’t laughing at bad jokes the whole time.

We kill all the red world things and now WE OWN A CASTLE!  That make us Lords and Ladies.  And we can knight people. I knight Sir Fluffy Bob! I think Fluffy Bob need family.  Maybe I start bunny ranch here for Fluffy Bob. Teres want bar...big surprise. I need to find brother Gimble. He like making things. Castle need lots of things. Maybe tiny brother like own room here to make things!