Homecoming

In this Our World story, the Babylon Rogues are sent to New Babylon to steal an ancient machine kept deep within.

This is a transcript from Discord.

## Story

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ANOTHER STORY! This marathon just keeps going! The date is January 28th. The location? A fortress on the side of a dormant volcano, belonging to the Battle Bird Armada. Inside, we find Fukurokov, in his laboratory.

Fukurokov:
"Yes... Excellent... Hmm."
"Grah! This won't do... I need something more... powerful... These Mobians and their technological dark age... Hmm. I wonder..."
*Quickly runs over to his bookshelf and pulls out an ancient notebook.*
*Begins flipping through the Babylonian script.*
*Then he finds a diagram of a chamber deep within the city... with the words "Project Ferrum OS".*
"Perhaps it's time to get up some old fossils..."

The Doctor makes a call, and, within a few hours, a knock is heard at the laboratory door.*

Fukurokov:
"Come in my children! Ho ho! Come inside..."

Blight:
"What got you so excited Doc?"

Fukurokov:
"GRAH! Dunderheaded dimbulb! WHAT DO YOU WANT BEAKTON?!"

Blight:
"I was out of SAE 30 motor oil. Got any?"

Fukurokov:
"NO! Now leave before my guests get here--"

Jet:
*A colorful trio of birds barges in.* "O-kay, ya quack... What do you want from us? And you better not try to recruit us into the Corsairs. It ain't happening."

Blight:
"Well look what the tide rolled in..."

Jet:
"Beakton... I knew this was a trap."

Blight:
"The second-largest failure to come from the Kukkus..."

Fukurokov:
"After yourself you mean?"

Blight:
*Glares at the doctor.*

Wave:
"Come on, Jet. We can't waste our time dredging up the past... Doctor, what did you want from us?"

Fukurokov:
"Well, I have a business proposition that shall benefit us both... I need you to procure an item..."

Storm:
"Uh... What does procure mean? Jet? What does procure mean?"

Jet:
"It means we're gonna be nabbing some treasure, that's what."

Blight:
"Why didn't ya call me?"

Fukurokov:
"Because I don't want the artifact covered in jelly! And your ex-wife was unavailable."

Jet:
"You ain't got the depth perception for a job like this, Beakton. You can thank my old man for that."

Blight:
"Why you lousy dunderheaded dimbulb..."

Wave:
"JET! STOP IT. Okay, Doctor. What exactly are we stealing, and from who?"

Fukurokov:
"Right, I'll explain in a moment... Blight?"

Blight:
"Yeeees?"

Fukurokov:
*Draws a small raygun and points it at the cyborg.* "OUT. NOW."

Blight:
*Groans.* "Fine. But if ya change ya mind and want a REAL thief for the job you know who to call..."

Fukurokov:
"Rouge was unavailable as well."

Blight:
*Leaves in a huff.*

Fukurokov:
"Now then, where were we?"

Jet:
"You were just about to tell us the scene."

Fukurokov:
"Right, right... Need you to steal an ancient computer from deep within the Babylonian Underworld..."

Wave:
"So that means we're going to New Babylon..."

Jet:
"Great! I've been waiting for an excuse to visit... And by visit, I mean rob blind."

Storm:
"But, Jet. Aren't the Babylonians like our ancestors or something?"

Fukurokov:
"Indeed my dear simpleton."

Jet:
"You really believe that? The real Babylonians were genies! Mythical creatures! We descended from the gods, Storm!"

Fukurokov:
"...Really? ...I'd hardly call myself a god, but if you insist..."

Wave:
"Are you saying you're Babylonian?"

Fukurokov:
"Indeed I am..."
*Starts speaking fluent ancient Babylonian.*

Jet:
"OKAY! I get it! Yadda-yadda! Enough talking! Let's just get going!"

Fukurokov:
"Yes... Run along children... Grandpa Fuku has a monster to create..."

Jet:
*Walks out.*

Wave:
"Um, we still need the schematics..."

Fukurokov:
"Of course!" *Pulls out the book and hands it to Wave.* "I presume you are trustworthy enough to return this to me once you've finished?"

Wave:
"As long as you pay us, you can count on it, crackpot."

Fukurokov:
"Oh don't worry miss... I will reward you... handsomely..."

Storm:
"I've already got enough handsome. But okay."

Soon, at New Babylon... ALARMS BLARE as the Babylon Rogues break through the gates.

Jet:
*Speeding through the city on his Extreme Gear.*

Wave:
*Following behind.* "Jet! Left ahead!"

Jet:
"I know where I'm going!" *He turns right.*

Storm:
"This place definitely looks like the stone pictures..."

Babylonian:
*Setting up his fruit stand.* "And... There. Finally back to normal."

Jet:
*Speeds past, blowing the fruit stand over. He swipes a small fruit.*

Babylonian:
"Of course..."

After a bit more directional impairments, the Rogues have found the entrance to Tartarus...

Wave:
"The crackpot's schematics show the compound right past this dark tunnel. Shouldn't be too much longer."

Storm:
"Uh... It doesn't look save in there."

Jet:
"Just follow me, we'll be fine!" *He speeds in. Loud crashes and explosions can be heard, followed by screams until...* "I'M OKAY!"

The other two make their way through, with a little less trouble. Finally, they reach the legendary COMPUTER ROOM.

Wave:
*Jumps off her board.* "Okay... Here we are. And that must be what we came for." *She points to a machine, contained in an energy cage. A sign reads in Babylonian: "WARNING, DO NOT RELEASE. DANGEROUS AI".*

Jet:
"Alright! Storm! Do your thing!"

Storm:
"You got it, boss." *He starts smashing stuff.*

Jet:
"This job's too easy! Give me a challenge!"

Tempest:
"If you insist."
*The Babylon Guardians have arrived.*

Jet:
"Yikes!" *He jumps, startled.*

Tide:
"Just what do you think you're doing down here?"

Storm:
"Smashing stuff. The boss told me to."

Turbine:
"SQUISHING THINGS! BIG NO."

Tempest:
"I suppose it falls on us to put you thieves into your place." *He charges himself with lightning.*

Jet:
"Oh yeah? Just try and take me, I dare ya!" *He hops on his Extreme Gear and begins speeding around the room.* "Storm! Me and Wave'll keep 'em busy! Keep smashing!"

Storm:
*Thumbs-up.*

Turbine:
*Tries going after Storm, but gets confused by the speed trails of Jet and Wave.* "HUH?!! WHERE FAT BIRD?"

Wave:
"I hope you have a plan, Jet..."

Jet:
"You know me better than that." *He grabs out his fans and speeds towards Tide.*

Tide:
*Begins shooting at Jet.* "Surrender now, or be obliterated!"

Jet:
*Deflects the bullets with his fans, before striking Tide.* "The Legendary Wind Master doesn't know the meaning of the word 'surrender'!"

Storm:
*In his mindless smashing, he punches Turbine, sending him flying towards Tempest.*
"Whoops, sorry!"

Tempest:
*Quickly dodges his flying companion, before sending a lightning bolt in Wave's direction.*

Wave:
*Her Extreme Gear is hit and explodes, she jumps off at the last second.* "NO! MY BABY!"
*Now furious, she pulls out her oversized wrench and runs up, swinging and hitting Tempest as if he were a softball.* "HOW DARE YOU!?!"

Storm:
*In his smashing, he has now disabled the energy cage around the machine.* "I think I did something!"

Jet:
"Nice! Now let's grab it and get out of here!"

Wave:
"But... My board..."

Jet:
"You have fifteen more back on the blimp, now let's move it!"

Storm:
*Picks up Wave in one arm and the machine in the other, before hopping on his board.*

The Babylon Rogues quickly make their way toward the exit, the Guardians have begun pursuing them.

Jet:
"We got bogies on our tail feathers!"

Storm:
"You're gonna have to deal with 'em, boss. I got my hands full."

Jet:
"Must I do *everything* myself?!" *He slows down and grabs a decorative ball off of a wall sconce. He tosses it back at the Guardians, who dodge it with ease.* "OH COME ON!"

Wave:
"Let's just outrun them! If we can make it out of the city, they can't follow us!"

Jet:
"Sounds good to me!" *He speeds up, leaving everyone else in the dust.*

Wave:
*Rolls her eyes.*

As the Rogues roar past the gates, the Guardians come to a halt.

Tempest:
"Disgusting diplomatic guidelines..."

A few hours later, the Babylon Rogues have arrived back at Fukurokov's lab.

Fukurokov:
"Well? Do you have it?"

Jet:
"Yeah, we got it. This job was a total snooze-fest."

Wave:
*Glares at Jet.*

Fukurokov:
"Wonderful! The boringer the cheaperer!"

Storm:
"Here you go." *He sets down the machine with a thud.*

Fukurokov:
"...What did you DO?!"

Jet:
"On second thought. We risked our lives for that thing! WE COULD HAVE DIED!"

Fukurokov:
"...Did you not use the security override codes?!"

Wave:
"You didn't mention those..."

Jet:
"Whatever. Just pay us so we can leave."

Fukurokov:
"Hmph! Well, the unit is badly damaged... And half of the memory core is missing...

Jet:
"Not our problem! Money, please."

Fukurokov:
*Tosses them each a small sack of coin.*

Storm:
"This is it?"

Fukurokov:
"No actually. One more thing... If you'll look at that screen on the wall there..."
*Covers his eyes and presses the flash button as they look.*

Wave:
"...What were we doing here?"

Fukurokov:
"You were saying how you couldn't fit these bags in the treasure hold of your ship after I paid you substantially. So you were returning them."

Jet:
"That doesn't sound like something I'd say..."

Fukurokov:
"Exactly what I thought when you said it! But you're the professional here..."

Wave:
"Whatever. Let's just go, Jet. We've got other jobs to do."

Jet:
"Pfft. Alright. Dr. Quack, you get off easy today." *The Rogues leave.*

Fukurokov:
"Hehehe." *Grabs the bags of gold off the floor.*
"Like taking babies from a candy store... Now then..."
*Pulls the artifact over to the worktable and begins disecting it.*
*And a few hours later a towering mass of a robot is seen lying there.*
"Right, just need to reverse the polarity input on the gamma unit's retro encabulator... And now... The power source..."
*Opens a hamster cage.*
*Pulls out a very angry clucky, which promptly bites him and flies out the window.*
"..."
"Okay then... What else do we have in the storage shed?"
*Digs around in a closet, throwing out various Robotnik and Babylonian tech.*
*Then he finds a prototype power generator from an older project of his.*
"Hmmm yes... The Evazorn unit will blend nicely..."

A few hours later...

Fukurokov:
"Ho ho ho! The moment of truth..."
*Pulls a switch and the robot on the table activates with a jolt.*

But the shockingly handsome robot doesn't move.

Fukurokov:
"...Hmm. Did I forget to connect something?"

```

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BAXT-ER:
*Starts snoring loudly from the table.*

```

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Fukurokov:
"...Hello? Anyone there?"

BAXT-ER:
*Groans.* "Five more minutes..."

Fukurokov:
"...MINION! I demand you stop this poppycock immediately!"

BAXT-ER:
"Minion? ...Where?"

Fukurokov:
"ON THE TABLE IN FRONT OF ME."

BAXT-ER:
"Oh no. I am sorry!" *Stands up quickly.* "I did not mean to sit on your minion!"

Fukurokov:
"...I think there's been a miscommunication. YOU are the minion. I CREATED YOU."

BAXT-ER:
"Really? Well, you did a pretty lousy job. I mean, I don't even have a cape!"

Fukurokov:
"No, no capes! YOU are MY minion. YOU follow MY orders!"

BAXT-ER:
"Uh, okay. I see your idea. But hear me out... How about no?"

Fukurokov:
*Groans loudly and walks over to his desk and grabs an item we've seen one of before.* [in Balance, used on Kitty]
"Must [I?] use these on every minion? Hold still..."
*Goes to attach the device.*

BAXT-ER:
*Only for BAXT-ER to immediately dodge it and punch the doc in the beak, sending the doc crashing into his desk.*
"Oh my goodness, I did *not* mean to hit you that hard."

Fukurokov:
*Begins fuming so much from the crushed remains of his desk that his face is turning red.*
"You DUNDERHEADED DIMBULB!!!"

BAXT-ER:
"What did you just call me?"

Fukurokov:
"DUNDERHEADED DIMBULB!"

BAXT-ER:
"Dunderheaded dimbulb... I like the sound of that insult! Got any other good ones?"

Fukurokov:
"I--Why you--I don't--AUGH!!!"
*Storms out of the lab.*

BAXT-ER:
"Yeah, that one just seems silly..."

What's this?!? The canonical debut of the other strange narrator? [Baxter of another universe is a narrator] It would seem so. Anyway! What's this goofy robot gonna do next? Wait and see!

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## Characters

*In order of appearance:*

* Fukurokov
* Blight Beakton
* Jet the Hawk
* Wave the Swallow
* Storm the Albatross
* Tide
* Tempest
* Turbine
* BAXT-ER

## Participants

* GasglowJones
* Captainclay55