Seinfeld Pitch Meeting

* Main
* Transcript

**Seinfeld Pitch Meeting** is the thirteenth episode of the Pitch Meeting series on Screen Rant.

## Description

Seinfeld revolutionized TV sitcoms in the 90s and became one of the most popular and highly respected television series of all time. Follow Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer, four best friends who also happen to be high-functioning sociopaths, as they live out their mundane, day-to-day lives in New York City. Somehow that actually makes for a great show. Maybe it's the laugh track?

## Cast

* Producer Guy - Ryan George
* Screenwriter Guy - Ryan George

**Producer Guy:** So you have a show for me?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah so it's a sitcom created by a comedian named Jerry Seinfeld.

**Producer Guy:** What's his comedy like?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh, it's great! He'll be onstage like *[Jerry Seinfeld impression]* "What is the deal with airline food?".

**Producer Guy:** Okay.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah and then sometimes he's like *[Jerry Seinfeld impression]* "What is the deal… with other stuff?".

**Producer Guy:** I guess that sounds relatable.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah and then other times he's like *[Jerry Seinfeld impression]* "What is the deal-"

**Producer Guy:** Okaykaykay you can stop doing that voice now.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh yeah sure.

**Producer Guy:** That's not what he sounds like is it?

**Screenwriter Guy:** *[regretfully]* Kind of.

**Producer Guy:** Yeesh.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Also he's not the best actor in the world, so he's probably gonna be on the verge of laughing… all the time.

**Producer Guy:** Oh.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Or at the very least smiling all the time no matter what the situation is.

**Producer Guy:** Okay, well maybe people won't mind all that.

**Screenwriter Guy:** So the show's gonna follow a fictional version of Jerry and basically show how a comedian comes up with material.

**Producer Guy:** Interesting. So we're gonna see his everyday life with his friends and stuff?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah, it'll be him and his three friends that are also, you know, high-functioning sociopaths.

**Producer Guy:** Wait, what?

**Screenwriter Guy:** He has three friends.

**Producer Guy:** Yeah, but Jerry and his friends are high-functioning sociopaths?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh yeah, none of the main characters have any sense of moral responsibility or social conscience whatsoever.

**Producer Guy:** Wow, so they're *[bleep]*holes.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh, yeah.

**Producer Guy:** So tell me more about the other sociopaths.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well one of them is named George.

**Producer Guy:** What's his deal?

**Screenwriter Guy:** He's short, stocky and bald, and instead of speaking he's just gonna scream every line and kinda flail his arms around.

**Producer Guy:** Got it.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Then there's Elaine, who used to date Jerry and is a terrible dancer.

**Producer Guy:** Great.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Then there's Kramer.

**Producer Guy:** And what's he like?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh he's great. Of the high-functioning sociopaths he's the least high-functioning.

**Producer Guy:** Interesting.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah and he's gonna do this thing where he opens doors really fast.

**Producer Guy:** Oh.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah and that'll kind of be his thing.

**Producer Guy:** I'll be honest, I don't get that.

**Screenwriter Guy:** He's gonna open the door in a funny way.

**Producer Guy:** Okay.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Eh, if you get the right actor I'm sure it'll play.

**Producer Guy:** Alright. So what kinda situations are these characters gonna get themselves into?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Uh, some pretty funny ones, and this stuff's gonna be relatable forever.

**Producer Guy:** Oh that's good, 'cause sometimes after a couple'a years, storylines from sitcoms don't hold up anymore.

**Screenwriter Guy:** That is not gonna be a problem here; this stuff is never gonna feel dated.

**Producer Guy:** So what kind of situations are we talking?

**Screenwriter Guy:** You know like when you need to call somebody but somebody's using the pay phone?

**Producer Guy:** Ugh, I hate that.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Or like when you're supposed to meet up with someone but you can't find them and you're like "What am I s'posed to do now?".

**Producer Guy:** That is *always going to be a problem*.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah, unless somebody invents a way to send like an instant… message or something.

**Producer Guy:** *[scoffing]* Pfft, yeah right, maybe in a hundred years or so.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Also we'll talk about how rude it is to use a cell phone to call somebody.

**Producer Guy:** So rude!

**Screenwriter Guy:** That's never gonna be an okay thing to do.

**Producer Guy:** It's very selfish.

**Screenwriter Guy:** It's gross is what it is.

**Producer Guy:** Agreed. So what kind of humor would you say the show has?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well I'd say very much like Seinfeld's standup.

**Producer Guy:** So he'll make observations and stuff?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Exactly, like maybe they'll be at the post office and he'll be like "Why is there always a line at the post office?".

**Producer Guy:** *[concerned]* Hm. Okay.

**Screenwriter Guy:** What's wrong?

**Producer Guy:** Well, they don't sound like jokes. They sound like observations.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah.

**Producer Guy:** Well isn't it gonna be hard to get viewers at home to laugh at… observations?

**Screenwriter Guy:** No, actually super easy, barely an inconvenience.

**Producer Guy:** What do you mean?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Well I figure we can lean like really heavy into the laugh track.

**Producer Guy:** Oh, okay.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Yeah like if the studio audience can lose their minds between every sentence that'd be great.

**Producer Guy:** We can arrange that.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Then while that's happening we can have the characters stand there and just look at each other like- *[smirks and shakes his head]*

**Producer Guy:** And that's gonna work?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh for sure, it's gonna take like mundane conversations and turn them into hilarious moments.

**Producer Guy:** You have an example?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Sure, so this is between Elaine and Jerry after Elaine went on a date and the guy took his wiener out.

**Producer Guy:** Go for it.

**Screenwriter Guy:** *[reading script]* "He took it out." "He what?" "He took. It. Out." "He took what out?" "It." "He took it out?" "Yessireebob."

**Producer Guy:** *[dubious]* And viewers at home… will think that's funny?

**Screenwriter Guy:** They will if there's a laugh track between every single sentence.

**Producer Guy:** Fascinating.

**Screenwriter Guy:** And so that's about it, we'll just have these four *[bleep]*holes running around New York City and getting into trouble.

**Producer Guy:** Sounds good to me.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Great.

**Producer Guy:** And you know what, I think I have a person in mind for that Kramer character.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Who's that?

**Producer Guy:** Yeah, this actor named Michael Richards. Great guy.

**Screenwriter Guy:** Oh yeah?

**Producer Guy:** Yeah and you know how some actors are very hot-headed and get themselves into trouble?

**Screenwriter Guy:** Like scandals and stuff?

**Producer Guy:** That is *never* gonna be a problem for this guy.

*[cut to headline: **Actors Who Completely Destroyed Their Own Careers**]*