Four Jews in a Room Bitching

**Four Jews in a Room Bitching** is the first song in act one of Falsettos. It is followed by A Tight-Knit Family/Love is Blind.

## Four Jews in a Room Bitching

### Albums

Falsettos (2016 Broadway Cast Recording)March of the Falsettos

### Sung By

Brandon Uranowitz - (Mendel)Christian Borle - (Marvin) Andrew Rannells - (Whizzer) Anthony Rosenthal - (Jason) Stephanie J. Block - (Trina)

## Lyrics

[FOUR MEN (MENDEL, MARVIN, WHIZZER, JASON)]

Four Jews in a room bitching;

Four Jews in a room plot a crime

I'm bitching. He's bitching

They're bitching. We're bitching

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

Funny, funny, funny, funny

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

All the time

[MENDEL] (MARVIN, WHIZZER, JASON)

Whadda they do for love? (Oooo)

[MENDEL] (MARVIN, WHIZZER, JASON)

Whadda they do for love? (Oooo)

[FOUR MEN]

Four Jews in a room

[MENDEL]

Bitching

[JASON]

Bitching

[MARVIN]

Bitching

[WHIZZER]

Bitching

[FOUR MEN]

Four Jews in a room stoop

[MENDEL]

They stoop?

[FOUR MEN]

To pray

[JASON]

I'm Jewish

[MARVIN]

I'm Jewish

[MENDEL]

I'm Jewish

[WHIZZER]

Half Jewish

[FOUR MEN]

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

Funny, funny, funny, funny

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

Night and day

[TRINA]

Slavery, slavery

[FOUR MEN]

We crossed the desert

Running for our lives

Fleeing from the Pharaoh

Who was up to no good

Now we’re at the Red Sea

Pharaoh is behind us

Wanting us extincted

[JASON]

What we need’s a miracle!

[FOUR MEN]

And then the Red Sea

Split before us

No more tsouris

[MENDEL]

We got our miracle

[JASON]

We got our miracle

[MARVIN]

We got our miracle

[FOUR MEN]

Four Jews itching for answers

Four Jews bitching their whole life long

[WHIZZER]

I'm Whizzer

[JASON]

I'm Jason

[MENDEL]

I'm Mendel

[MARVIN]

I'm Marvin

[FOUR MEN]

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

Funny, funny, funny, funny

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

Right or wrong

[JASON]

In case of smoke, please call our mothers on the phone

And say their sons are all on fire

[MARVIN AND WHIZZER]

We are manipulating people and we need to know

Our worst sides aren't ignored

[MENDEL]

The guilt invested will in time pay wisely

[WHIZZER AND JASON]

We do not tippy toe

[WHIZZER]

We charge ahead to show

[MENDEL]

We're good in bed

[WHIZZER]

Excel in bed

[MARVIN]

We smell in bed

[JASON]

Where is the bed?

[MENDEL]

I love the bed

[JASON]

Who has the bed?

[WHIZZER]

I want the bed!

[JASON]

Who stole the bed?

[MARVIN]

Who stole the bed?

[WHIZZER]

I lost it twice

[MENDEL]

The bed is mine

[WHIZZER]

The bed is nice

[FOUR MEN]

The bed is

Four Jews in a room bitching, whee!

Four Jews talking like Jew-ish men

I'm neurotic, he's neurotic

They're neurotic, we're neurotic

Bitch bitch bitch bitch

Funny funny funny funny

[MARVIN]

I'm nauseous

[WHIZZER]

I'm nauseous

[JASON]

I'm simple

[MENDEL]

I'm Jewish

[TRINA]

Slavery, slavery

[FOUR MEN]

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

Funny, funny, funny, funny

[MARVIN, JASON] [WHIZZER] [MENDEL]

I'm Jewish -I'm neurotic -Bitch, bitch

He's Jewish -He's neurotic -Bitch, bitch

They're Jewish -They're neurotic -Funny, funny

We're Jewish -We're neurotic -Funny, funny

Bitch, bitch -Four Jews -I'm Jewish

Bitch, bitch -In a room bitching -He's Jewish

Funny, funny -Bitch, bitch -They're Jewish

Funny, funny -Bitch, bitch -We're Jewish

[FOUR MEN]

Four Jews in a room bitching

[MARVIN]

In a room bitching

[FOUR MEN]

Bitch, bitch

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

Now and then

Can't lose

Loose screws

Four

[WHIZZER]

One

[JASON]

Two

[MARVIN]

Three

[MENDEL]

Four

[TRINA]

Five

[FOUR MEN]

Five Jews

## Trivia

* Brandon Uranowitz (Mendel) is the only actually Jewish person singing this.
* The song references the story of how Moses freed the slaves in Egypt.
* In the original Four Jews in a Room Bitching, Trina does not appear or sing this song.