A Little Crazy

* basics
* relevant problems
* important mbti answers
* gallery
* other

* madison elizabeth ecclestone-ainsworth
* shailene woodley
* twenty one, aka the age that is not really important because it has no significance in great britain
* *human embodiment*of Very British Problems
* socially awkward as *fuck*
* istj
* muggle-born ravenclaw alumna
* left hogwarts and then went to oxford university to study english language and literature, just graduated
* will never travel on a bus unless it's a proper london bus, same with taxis. much prefers trains and cars.
* learnt to drive post-hogwarts.

* loves agatha christie and crime novels. wants to buy her house.
* zodiac sceptic
* hates film and tv remakes with a *passion*
* loves twitter, hates facebook and instagram.
* wishes she was less cute so people would make her feel less awkward
* gets pissed at anyone who takes too many selfies or wears too much make-up
* swears like a sailor and actually drinks a lot
* insists on sunday roast, likes kfc better than mcdonalds

--- credit for @soverybritish on twitter ---

* spotting someone you know in a public place and immediately acting as if trying to avoid a t-rex
* turning down a cup of tea for no reason and immediately realising you've made a terrible mistake
* having a default setting of "yeah...not too bad. tired but okay."
* "i wouldn't do that if i were you" - translation: the results of doing that could be catastrophic, perhaps fatal
* best weekend activity: a really nice sit down
* "if you say so" - translation: you're very wrong
* being in a constant state of saying "yeah, I need to sort that out actually..."
* breaking your own leg upon hearing you're required to attend a team building activity day
* "it's not how i'd have done it" - translation: what the hell have you done?
* the horror of meeting an optimistic person
* "don't worry I've only been here a few minutes" - translation: i've been here an hour repressing remarkable rage at your lateness
* being sure to quickly quash any unnecessary excitement by saying "let's not go overboard"
* "sorry about all the mess" - translation: sorry I've left that one mug by the sink
* making the foolish mistake of expecting something to turn out well
* describing everything above 15 degrees as ridiculous
* ooh you've caught the sun" - translation: the heat coming from your face could toast a sandwich
* "oh hello i didn't see you there" - translation: i failed to avoid you
* "feel a bit rough actually" - translation: i think i might be about to expire
* having entire conversations where you only say random combinations of "yes, well", "oh right" and "i see"
* knowing a conversation has truly died when you both sip your drinks at exactly the same time
* giving the illusion of working by putting your hand to your mouth, looking serious and going "hmm"
* being sure to look at every single sandwich before choosing the same one as always
* indicating you want takeaway by saying "hmm, not sure i fancy that now" to every single item in the fridge
* sitting on half the aisle seat on the bus, as if touching another passenger's leg will cause you both to dissolve
* "yep, no problem at all, leave it with me" - translation: i have literally no idea what i'm doing. ever.
* knowing your hairdresser could shave off your eyebrows and remove an ear and you'd still say "that's great, thanks"
* having a unique and involuntary small noise reserved only for when you push a pull door
* ooh, before i forget" - translation: what i'm about to say is the entire reason why i came over to talk to you
* burning around 1,000 calories a day by gently shaking your head in mild annoyance
* exiting a shop without making a purchase and feeling certain you'll be arrested at any moment
* "now don't take this the wrong way..." - translation: what i'm about to say will upset you forever
* marvelling at the confidence of someone who has the ability to say "excuse me, sorry, this isn't what i ordered"
* being unable to stand and leave without first saying "right"
* having someone else sit next to you on the train, so you'll have to eat your crisps at home
* the overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about
* being in a constant state of suspecting your favourite chocolate bars are getting smaller
* being unable to concentrate on the conversation while a guest unwittingly sits in your usual sofa spot
* never feeling better than immediately after calling in sick

- finds it quite hard to introduce themselves as they fear someone will hear it wrong and they will have to live with the new name for life as they are too embarrassed to correct them

- always either too aware of their surroundings or not aware at all

- obsessively tidies their e-mail inbox even though they'll leave it a while afterwards until it can be considered "messy" and they freak out. very quick to respond if they want to, deletes if they don't and pretends they never got it.

- pretends to stay relaxed in a pressurised situation. hopes nobody noticed their smile twitching because they are really immensely stressed out

- never initiates conversations because they are too awkward to do so, waits to be forced into one even though they hate that too

- always curious about why other people are social when they never even want to leave the house and also don't want to online shop because that involves interacting with people. eventually goes shopping and uses self checkout! robots are way better.

- nervous as fuck and feels like a tiny cube in comparison to the people around them.

- forces themselves to flex for everyone *and* tries to be organised at the same time. difficult.

- pretends to be highly motivated. actually dying at their desk and running on seventy four cups of tea.

- absolutely oblivious to upsetting people until they're actually crying. but asks if people are upset constantly, just in case. says very helpful things like "you're shaking."

- always justifying themselves until they're blue in the face because they actually don't want to offend anyone it's just an accident they swear

- always tidying so it's not that messy but feels the need to apologise for one mug. doesn't understand other people live in messier places.

- hates being the centre of attention and shoves others into the limelight. if they're dragged onto a dance floor, they'll find a dark corner unless they're drunk.

- said person is a crazy drunk.

- despises hearing their own voice on tape, oops.

- travel plans have to be made in advance unless avoiding another plan you don't want to do. then, an impromptu drive to france is acceptable even if you're really just sitting in your house with your car locked in your garage, curtain drawn and lights off, laid across the sofa with your phone borrowing other people's photos of "paris"

- so *fucking patient* sometimes they should be a saint. other times they're just pissed. it's hard to tell.

- so worried they've said something wrong if they get no reply.

- envious of everyone but convinces themselves the other is a peasant and their life is *fine* and that rose gold iPhones are just for fuckboys

- nature??? *boring*. involves exercise and is a couch potato who loves netflix and ready salted crisps.

- suggests talking to other people when someone is sad because they suck at making people feel better. they're always feeling bad so...

- terrible at working in a team. independence all the way.

- all views should be supported except...\*long list of views that should not be supported including homophobic, sexist, etc\*

- social interaction is tiring and they're already too tired to deal with this because they always wake up at 6am to sound profound and cool and to get a nice cup of tea or three to keep themselves awake.

- is a dreamer but pretends not to be because they have to be so realistic that world peace ain't gonna happen any time soon. sorry.

- what is that person doing??? do they hate me??? aaaaa

- glued to the wall of any room filled with people. if they brush even slightly against someone they move further away because their bubble of personal space has been *INFILTRATED*

- procrastinates on a lot of important things...like cutting the grass...going to the bank to pay rent...dentist appointments and eye tests

- interested in different things but pretends to like what you like so conversations are less awkward by making committal sounds. usually makes conversation *more* awkward.