Bird Up! (episode)

**Bird Up!** is the 10th and last episode of Season 3 and the 30th episode altogether. Eric interviews Stephen Colletti. Chris Rock makes a surprise appearance.

## Episode

### Intro

So here's what happens:

* Eric runs into the red rectangle and destroys it, punching it a few times as well.
* Eric runs into the band section and pushes the drummer off the platform. He then punches him on the floor.
* Eric runs into the cabinet, destroying it pretty easily.
* Eric jumps straight onto the desk, destroying its top.
* He pretends to play a prop trumpet, and then quickly slams it on the ground.
* Eric gets stung by hundreds of bees in a scene similar to that of 2006's *The Wicker Man* movie, aka the movie where Nicholas Cage yells "NOT THE BEES!"
* Eric fights his guitarist and wins.
* Eric beats up Bob Hope.
* Eric throws a drum and sits back down while stagehands rebuild the set.
* Hannibal busts through the sliding doors, texting, then proceeds to sit down.

### Monologue

Eric rants about New Yorkers using extreme stereotypes, telling them to shut the fuck up. Hannibal interrupts saying that's not how he talks. Eric then imitates Hannibal, mocking him for being the guy from *Silence of the Lambs*. Hannibal asks Eric what's wrong, noting that Eric's jokes aren't really good tonight.

Eric then tells Hannibal to suck his fucking dick, motherfucker. Hannibal keeps telling Eric his jokes are bad, to which Eric replies "fuck you, bitch!" He then impersonates Hannibal again: "I'm a fucking fat bitch!"

The monologue ends with Eric telling the world to vote or die, y'all. A freezeframe pops up with the words "VOTE OR DIE!" and a song singing "I'm American made!" begins.

### Bird Up!

It's time for the worst show on television. BIRD UP! Zoom in on the bird.

Eric asks a lady what her favorite movie is, she replies *Thelma and Louise*. Eric asks her to act out her famous scene and focus on the bird, promising that they'll edit Eric and his unsightly green suit out. While talking about how the two main characters drove off the cliff, Eric hugs her and starts licking her cheek. One jumpcut later, she's walking away asking "what the hell?" BIRD UP! Zoom in on Eric.

Eric asks another woman (this time holding a baby son) if she's ever seen *Requiem for a Dream*. He then proceeds to twerk on her. The lady, in disgust, blocks her son from viewing the horrible sight. BIRD UP! Zoom in on the kid.

Eric tells a man in a navy uniform (face blurred out) that "they won't even see me" and proceeds to kiss and hump him. The man pushes away. BIRD UP! Zoom in on a random guy in the background.

Eric plays with his dong then tells a woman "he got a little Tic Tac, I got a fuckin" BIRD UP! Zoom in on a biker in the background. His glasses pop up.

### Stephen Colletti interview

Eric introduces Stephen Colletti, a star from *One Tree Hill*. Eric asks to see Stephen's penis, which Stephen deflects to Hannibal, who is playing with a rain stick. He tells Stephen "that was rain." Eric then talks about people online who have been talking shit about Stephen, calling him "Colletti, the human piece of shit," a pink princess, a unicorn's vagina, a big shitter, a human piece of **YOU'RE WATCHING BIRD UP BYAAAAAAAAAAH**

### Bird Up!

Eric humps a lady and tells her the viewers won't even see him, right before telling his viewers they're watching Bird Up, the worst show on television! Zoom in on the bird.

Eric plays with a puppet of raw chicken in front of a (blurred) man. The puppet asks the man "I just broke up with Jay-Z, will you make love to me?" The man smacks the chicken away from him. Eric throws the puppet back onto the man, making him smack it harder. BIRD UP! Zoom in on a lady in the background.

Another man is yelling at Eric telling him he ain't gonna Bird Up, dissing the show in the process. He then reveals his name to be Reggie and proceeds to ramble on with something. BIRD UP! Zoom in on a confused looking Eric.

Eric begs to hump another (blurred) man who's wearing a patriotic hat, vest, and a sign promoting a business. The man violently whacks Eric, knocking his beautiful hat off in the process.