Episode 1-28

Welcome to *Hee Haw* starring Buck Owens and Roy Clark.

## Skits and Songs

* Kornfield Jokes
* Doc Campbell
	+ How did Jeannine's parents die?
* Buck Owens
	+ "My Heart Skips a Beat"
* The Culhanes
	+ Lulu's protest
* Samuel B. Sternwheeler
	+ You show me a man who wears shoes on his ears, and I'll show you a man who wears earmuffs on his feet.
* The Joke Fence - Lulu
	+ I crossed a cannibal with a Valentine.
	What's it do?
	Just sits there and eats its heart out.
* Salute!
	+ Triangle, Virginia, population 2,948
* The Moonshiners
	+ Fast-talker
* "Pbbt! You Was Gone" - Archie Campbell, Gordie Tapp
	+ "What's white and has one horn and gives us milk daily?"
	I asked this riddle, our family was stuck
	You had to spoil it all with your big mouth
	When you yelled out, "It's a big dairy truck"
* KORN News
* Linda Ronstadt
	+ "Are My Thoughts with You?"

* Dear Royella
	+ We are expecting our fourteenth child
* The Hee Haw Players
	+ Julius Caesar
* Archie's Barber Shop
	+ Worried about Lulu
* Merle Haggard
	+ "Every Fool Has a Rainbow"
* Stringbean's Letter from Home
	+ Your pappy is learning to feed the hogs a new way

* Roy Clark
	+ "Cattle Call"
* Gordie's General Store
	+ Day off to help with housecleaning
* Doc Campbell
	+ Doc, it hurts when I do this
* Samuel B. Sternwheeler
	+ A man who knows when to come in out of the rain is a man who wouldn't enjoy Niagara Falls.
* The Joke Fence - Junior
	+ I crossed a mink with a kangaroo.
	What'd you get?
	A fur coat with pockets
* The Moonshiners
	+ Life looks like a million dollars
* Doc Campbell
	+ Lulu's husband fell in the well
* Hey Grandpa, What's for Supper?
	+ Hand-slung chitlins browned in a pan
	We got tomaters out of a can
	Grits and gravy to fill yer plate
	And cherry cobbler, the best you've ate
	Yum, yum!
* Roy Clark
	+ "Maria Elena"

* Kornfield Jokes
* Merle Haggard
	+ "Jimmie's Texas Blues"
* Doc Campbell
	+ I got the hiccups terrible
* KORN News

* "Pbbt! You Was Gone" - Archie Campbell,
	+ Remember when you went out huntin' for possum
	You said you'd get one and wouldn't be long
	That's ten years ago and I'm sittin' here a-waitin'
	Beginnin' to wonder if somethin' went wrong
* The Hee Haw Amateur Minute
	+ Waldo Wiggins - World's strongest man
* The Joke Fence - Archie
	+ I crossed a firefly with some corn liquor.
	What'd you get?
	All lit up.
* Samuel B. Sternwheeler
	+ A man far wiser than me once said something that deserves to be repeated time and time again, and so I'd like to take this time to repeat this statement, which should stand out like a beacon of light in the darkness of ignorance that surrounds us today, and bear in mind that these words that I'm about to mouth were conceived by the mind of a man who spent years thinking of just the right words to say. He said, "Help!"
* Doc Campbell
	+ Doc, it hurts when I do this
* Salute!
	+ Excelsior Springs, Missouri, population 6,473
* Pickin' and Grinnin'
* Kornfield Jokes
* Doc Campbell
	+ Jeannine's uncle's at death's door
* The Culhanes
	+ Planning a menu
* The Hee Haw Amateur Minute
	+ Agatha Ankles - Bubble dancer
* The Joke Fence - Gordie
	+ I crossed a guitar with a wig.
	What'd you get?
	The stringiest hair you've ever seen