Wartlord

**Wartlord** is the lovable main villain of *The Happy Cricket*. Though virtually unknown, much like the film itself, most who *have* seen the movie agree that Wartlord was the only remotely enjoyable aspect of it.

## *The Happy Cricket*

Every sugar bowl has that one grumpy guy to even it all out. In Care-a-Lot, there's Grumpy Bear. In Smurf Village, there's Grouchy Smurf. In Disney, there's Donald Duck. And despite having a different outlook from their comrades, these grumpy guys end up with a pretty good disposition. That is, except for **Wartlord**. Wartlord is absolutely fed up with how bright and cheery everything is, and he's going to do whatever it takes to make the singing stop. Now, if he could just go over and ask his neighbor to turn the music down a little, all would be well and good. Unfortunately for him, he's the villain of the story, and so all the good guys do whatever *they* can to ruin his day. I know, it *sounds* bad when you put it like that, but it's okay because he's the villain. He probably had it coming.

### A Diamond from the Sky

For years, Wartlord had been tormented by his neighbor Christopher, who was one of those guys who threw loud parties playing blaring music all night. Finally tiring of it, Wartlord had music banned outright. To celebrate his victory, Wartlord said he wanted a diamond, but not just any diamond. He wouldn't settle for anything less than one of the diamonds from the sky. In any other universe, this would be totally unreasonable because stars are giant balls of plasma light-years away. But in this universe, stars are apparently small enough to hold in the palm of an insect's hand. So, it's only natural that the brightest star in the sky conveniently fell to Earth, sending Wartlord and his minions after it.

### The King Has Got the Diamond

Though Christopher and friends managed to reach the Night Star, Wartlord's minions got it in the end. This was celebrated with a song and dance... which is weird, since Wartlord said he hated music earlier. Regardless, the king had the diamond, and all was right with the world... until the Night Star went dark in his hand. Wartlord was kind of miffed about that. So, since Christopher's inexplicable stringless guitar could make the Night Star glow, Wartlord sent his minions to retrieve it.

### Christopher Plays No More

The guitar in hand, Wartlord had everything he needed to make the star glow, and somehow take over the world. The only problem is, only Christopher can play the guitar. So, Wartlord was kind of stuck. He had everything he wanted – Christopher neither had his instrument nor his inspiration, so his loud parties were finally over. But, Wartlord still wasn't content. Whatever he did after that, I don't remember, because I only saw the film once and I never torment myself in the same way twice.

### Wartlord's Final Performance

Since the Night Star was being held hostage(?), and Christopher's magic guitar had been stolen, it was only natural that the good guys mount a rescue mission. Wartlord really should have seen this coming. Then perhaps he would still be alive. That's right, the cheery residents of the sugar bowl actually killed a guy, and they didn't even care. Christopher played his guitar, making the Night Star glow, and its light was so bright it forced Wartlord backward, making him fall to his death. Moral of the story: Don't mess with the Happy Cricket.

## Alternate Character Interpretation

* **Wartlord had nothing to do with the destruction of the environment**: He's just a little purple lizardy thing. Just about the only pollution he *can* produce comes from his butt, and how much damage could a few small pieces of fertilizer *actually* do? More likely, Christopher and his friends jumped to conclusions and decided to blame the grumpy guy for their problems because he's a meanie and stuff.