Lost THX Tex Trailer: A Classic Disney Boxset

Warning: This story contains graphic violence that might not be suitable for children. Viewer discretion is advised.

Will the nightmare ever end?! I have encountered three of these boxsets on my own now, and one with DaveAlt1995. I'm starting to get paranoid about who or what is making them. But my troubles still aren't over yet.

Once again, I was working my usual shift at Hardee's. But in the dumpster, once again, I found a THX DVD boxset. This time, it was for Disney's 80th anniversary and the characters featured on it were Cinderella, Snow White, Ariel, Peter Pan, Aladdin, Hercules, Simba and Mickey Mouse. The title of this boxset was The THX Ultimate Classic Disney boxset.

"Oh no!" I said. "Not again!"

How did these boxsets keep ending up in the Hardee's dumpster of all places? More importantly, who or what was making them? I decided to watch the trailer inside this boxset, just so I could figure out what was going on here. After this one, I told myself not to watch anymore of these trailers. So after my shift, I went home, pulled out all of the movies in the boxset and put the DVD for the trailer into my DVD player. As usual, the montage played, the menu appeared with the usual options, and I hit "Play" on the menu and was greeted with this warning:

"Warning: The following trailer was made to promote Mermaid Down, even though that movie is not THX-certified. There is also violent content in this trailer. Viewer discretion is advised."

"One more ride, and I'll have my answers," I said.

The trailer opened with a shot of the sea. Ariel, Sebastian, Flounder, and King Triton were gathering up a few things that they needed to fix up supper. (Obviously, not fish.) But at that moment, all four of them got caught in a fishing net. They all struggled to get out, but to no avail. When they got pulled up to the surface, they noticed a pirate ship, driven by, you guessed it, Tex.

"Well, well, well," said Tex. "If it isn't two merfolk, a Jamaican crab, and a seven-year-old fish. What are you four doing out and about?"

"We were just picking some vegetables for dinner," said Ariel, as she continued to struggle to get out of the net.

"Let us go, or feel the wraith of the sea!" said King Triton.

"OK," said Tex. "In fact, I'll bring you to a place that has the most vegetables to help you with dinner tonight!"

Tex dropped the net down into a dark part of the sea, releasing Ariel, Triton, Sebastian, and Flounder. But a group of sharks, and I mean a lot of sharks, noticed the foursome and ate them all up. A shot of the sea could be seen turning crimson red as the foursome screamed in pain.

But the trailer wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of Mermaid Lagoon in Neverland. Peter, Wendy, Tinkerbell, and the mermaids were getting ready for something big.

"It was nice of you to take me here while my brothers were on vacation, Peter," said Wendy.

"Well, there was something I wanted to ask you," said Peter, as he got down on one knee with a ring in his hand. "Wendy Darling, will you..."

At that moment, Tex flew into the Lagoon, with a fishing net in one hand and pixie dust in the other.

"Hi there, lovebirds," said Tex. "I heard that a marriage proposal was going on here."

"Yes," said Peter. "And we wanted a little privacy. So buzz off, Red Robot!"

" Peter," said one of the mermaids. "Do you know who that is?! That's Tex, the THX robot! He's been traveling across the multiverse, killing those who are afraid of his company!"

"That's right," said Tex." And do you know what happens when you insult me? You get to be the next victim of the T-man!"

Tex threw the net into the Lagoon and all of the mermaids got tangled in it. Then, he took out some pixie dust and made the mermaids fly into space, where they would die from the lack of oxygen. Then, he killed Peter and Wendy by dunking them in the lagoon. They screamed as they were drowning.

"I don't believe in fairies," said Tex.

Tinkerbell died as soon as she heard Tex say that. Then, Tex flew away.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of Pride Rock from The Lion King. Timon, Pumbaa, Simba, and Nala were celebrating the defeat of Scar together. But at that moment, Tex could be seen, holding the bloody corpse of Scar. He used his robot magic to revive Scar and make him a killing machine.

"Now, Scar," said Tex. "Go get those prides!"

Scar complied with Tex and went to eat up Timon, Pumba, Simba, and Nala. They all screamed as Scar ate them up. Tex laughed at the sight of the poor animals being consumed.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of Athens, Greece. Hercules was at a coliseum, defeating his enemies in battle. At that moment, Tex walked into the arena.

"Hello, strong man," said Tex. "I'm your next enemy to fight! Prepare for the T-Man to knock you out!"

"We'll see about that!" Said Hercules.

At that moment, right before Hercules could make a good punch, Tex used his powerful punch to knock the strongman out, killing him instantly.

But the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to the Dwarf cottage at night. Snow White was tucking all of the dwarves into bed. When suddenly, she heard a knock on the door.

"Um, hello?" Said Snow White.

She went to answer the door, only to see Tex standing there, holding an apple.

"Hello, princess," said Tex. "I heard you like apples. So, I brought you this nice juicy red one to eat."

" Thank you, but please don't kill me," said Snow White. "I've heard a lot about you."

Snow White took a bite of the apple and noticed that a tapeworm was inside. But it was too late: It ate her insides as she screamed, much to Tex's amusement.

But the trailer wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of the palace from Aladdin. Aladdin, The Genie, and Jasmine were gathered around. Aladdin spoke:

" Alright, guys. There is a psycho robot out and about, killing other characters for disrespecting his company. I've also heard he has a friend named Zurg. But don't be scared. He won't come..."

Aladdin was interrupted by Tex, flying into the palace.

"Hello, street rodents," said Tex. "Zurg is waiting for me back at our Psychopath Lair."

The Genie turned into a lobster, and said, " You will be pinched if you try to kill us!"

"I wish you were steamed and served with a side of butter!" Yelled Tex as the Genie was getting steamed. At that moment, Tex ate the Genie up. Aladdin and Jasmine gasped as they saw the horrible fate of the Genie.

"His impressions were super annoying," said Tex. "Now, your turn."

Tex pulled out an AK-47 and shot at Jasmine and Aladdin. They screamed as they were being massacred. Also, the whole interaction reminded me of the Madagascar scene in the Dreamworks boxset.

Anyways, the trailer still wasn't over yet.

It cut to a shot of Cinderella's palace. Cinderella was getting ready for a ball. When all of a sudden, Tex flew through the window, holding a sharpened glass slipper.

"Hello, Cindy," said Tex. "It's time for you to die!"

"NO!" Said Cinderella as she was getting stabbed with the glass slipper. After Tex finished killing Cinderella, something different happened than what most of us would expect from a THX trailer: The THX logo rose from the ground, damaging Cinderella's castle. Then, the deep note played. This time, the screams belonged to Ariel, Triton, Aladdin, Hercules, Simba, Timon, Snow White, Peter Pan, and Cinderella. Then after the deep note stopped, Mickey Mouse's head was shown. Then, Rex gave his speech:

"Hello, Disney fans! For the 80th anniversary, Sexy Texy gave your favorite characters a present they won't forget! Remember: don't be scared of me or you'll be next!"

Tex then flew away as " The audience is listening" appeared on screen. And, what do you know, another "To be continued..."

Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door. I felt super paranoid. So, I armed myself with a Nerf gun. I went to the door, and guess who I saw?

Tex!

My problems would continue from there!

(To be continued...)