Chaos 9/1/17

(A video recaps last week’s Chaos: Shane McMahon’s announcement of Jimmy Havoc in the Royal Rumble, Okada and Nakamura’s brawl over the title in which Okada came out on top, Owens and Zayn confronting the MCMG, a fatal four way match between Styles, Jericho, End, and Tanahashi won by Styles, and the return of Kota Ibushi in the main event of Itami vs Balor.)

SEGMENT 1: (The ring is set up for a contract signing. Contract signing officiator Bret Hart comes out first to a huge pop.)

Hart: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Chaos! As you all know, I am Bret Hart, the excellence of execution, the Hitman, the master of the Sharpshooter, and most importantly, the best there is, the best there was, and still, the best there ever will be. But I look at this show and I see an exceptional range of talent! Each and every division of this show is represented fairly and equally. All three of the singles championships are equal in prestige, status, and respect. Therefore it is my honor to officiate the contract signing for the vacant Pure Championship, which will be contested for between Cien Almas and Big Damo at the Royal Rumble. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome first - Cien Almas!!!

(Cien Almas comes out first to a good pop. Almas enters the ring and shakes Bret’s hand before signing the contract.)

Almas: I have been on Chaos for almost half a year now. I’ve spent much of that time competing for championships - first teaming with Neville in the Chaos World Tag Team Invitational, then fighting with Pentagon Dark. I had a dark past I left behind when I came to Chaos, because I saw the power of the light. One hundred souls wronged but one hundred souls left to be righted. Pentagon had tried to bring the darkness back but I expelled him from Chaos as I did the shadows that haunted my past. Therefore, as a warrior of the light, I embody all that is pure. This championship is meant to be mine, and I will take it. Big Damo is a beast. He’s big, he’s fast, and he can hurt me in a hundred different ways. But I have no fear. Cero miedo. Only peace. Only tranquilo. At the Royal Rumble, I will take what should be mine.

(Almas puts the mic down and Big Damo’s music hits to a huge pop. Damo walks down and picks up the mic. Bret Hart extends his arm for a handshake but Damo ignores it and focuses on Almas.)

Damo: I don’t know if you take me for a fool or if you just think you’re that smart. Are we just going to deny that both of your wins to advance to the finals were questionable? First you hold down Heath Slater’s tights in the first round, then you take advantage of a referee bump to beat Gallagher. So all of what you’ve just said sounds like a load of bullshit. You’re a fluke and a cheat. I don’t like that. So here’s what’s going to happen at the Royal Rumble. You can keep blabbering on about redemption or the light or whatever the fook you want to, while Big FOOKIN Damo smashes your head into the ground and wins the Pure Championship. I’ll see you there Cien.

(Damo signs the contract and walks to the back while Almas stares down from the ring.)

MATCH 1: The Bollywood Boyz vs Enzo and Cass

The Bollywood Boyz win after Gurv nails a crossbody splash on Enzo at 8 minutes following a distraction by The Decay. The Decay beats down Enzo and Cass at ringside before walking to the back.

SEGMENT 2: (Shane McMahon is backstage talking to Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn when an angry Hideo Itami comes up to him.)

McMahon: I’ll catch up with you two later. What’s the matter Hideo?

Itami: Cut the patronizing bullshit. I have a few questions for you - Why the fuck would you sign Kota Ibushi back, and why did you reward him for ruining a great main event with a title match and a main event? Have you fucking lost your mind?

McMahon: Woah woah let’s tone it down alright. Whether you like it or not, Kota Ibushi is a great asset to this brand. He was when I signed him in June, he was when he was in HYDRA, and he still is.

Itami: Listen you fool, the only reason you have your job right now is because Finn Balor and I defeated Brock Lesnar in the WarGames match. The terms of that match was that the losers - Kota Ibushi included - would be fired. So my question is, WHY IS HE STILL HERE?

McMahon: Look. Personally, I don’t like him. Business-wise, I made the right choice. You and him have some unfinished business after what he did to you last week, and honestly, what better way could you get revenge than to embarrass him in your first main event with the championship?

Itami: I’m going to end his career at Gates to Valhalla… Then you’ll see how good of a business decision it was bringing that motherfucker back.

(Itami holds the title up and walks away. AND KOTA IBUSHI COMES FROM THE SIDE WITH A LEAD PIPE AND SMASHES IT OVER ITAMI’S HEAD! Ibushi slams Itami’s head into the wall and nails him with a PILEDRIVER!!! Ibushi picks up the International Championship and spits on it before throwing it down at Itami.)

MATCH 3: Jack Gallagher vs Noam Dar

Gallagher wins with the running knee at 10 minutes.

SEGMENT 3: (Kota Ibushi comes out to nuclear heat. The commentators make an announcement that Hideo Itami has suffered a concussion and will be out for several weeks, missing the Royal Rumble match. His spot has now become open for the Royal Rumble and will be determined tonight in a six man battle royal between Kalisto, Kota Ibushi, Mark Haskins, Heath Slater, Drew Gulak, and Dalton Castle.)

Ibushi: People want me to speak on my return. I think I explained it pretty well back there. I’m here for revenge on Hideo Itami. When I joined HYDRA, I did so for a purpose. I was ready to achieve my goals by any means necessary, and one of those goals is the International Championship. Hideo has embarrassed me long enough with his knock outs and beat downs. He thinks he is dangerous but he doesn’t realize he’s see the most Kota Ibushi can accomplish. I am proud to stand here talking while Hideo lies unconscious in the back of an ambulance. I also now will offer this challenge. Hideo, after both times you knocked me out, I have done to you what you do best - I put you down and out. You probably won’t wake up for hours. Your brain will never be the same because of me. But at Gates to Valhalla, I will do you the worst thing I can possibly do. I’m going to take the International Championship out of your cold, limp hands and declare myself the NEW champion, while you lie unconscious below me.

(Ibushi drops the mic to boos and walks to the back.)

SEGMENT 4: (Tama Tonga, AJ Styles, and Finn Balor are talking backstage.)

Styles: I’m telling you boys, this Rumble is finally the opportunity I need. I’m a world class talent. Possibly one of the best of all time. Damn well the best leader of the Club, am I right Finn? All jokes aside, I look at the Rumble and see that that is my chance to solidify myself in the main event title scene. I’m going to win the Rumble and make the Chaos World Heavyweight Championship… Phenomenal.

Balor: Let’s be honest. The coolest BC member is and always has been me. I was the best talent to come out of Japan whether you want to admit it or not. Plus… I have a friend to call on for the big matches like this.

Tonga: Why are you both kidding yourselves? You’re both forgetting that the real ace of the Bullet Club is clearly Tama fucking Tonga.

(Jimmy Havoc walks into the scene and a small pop can be heard from the crowd.)

Havoc: Ah well look at we have here, a little reunion of the wanker club. The Royal Rumble match isn’t about who’s the better wrestler or who can do the fanciest moves. It’s about who takes advantage of the most opportunities given to them. And when you think about it… AJ, you’re just a stupid redneck who’s good at jumping around like a monkey. No brains there, that’s for sure. Tama Tonga, I don’t know what savage Samoan island you come from. Finn… let’s just say you’re nothing without that demon. The point is, there’s only one man on Chaos smart enough and qualified enough to win the Rumble. I’m going to run this show one way or another… But for tonight. Hideo Itami is injured so what do you suppose we do about that four versus four later on tonight?

(Roderick Strong enters the frame to a huge pop from the crowd.)

Strong: It is a few days before I was actually supposed to debut… But considering the circumstances… Consider me your partner for tonight.

(Strong pounds his chest with one fist and walks away while Havoc and Balor nod at each other. Styles backs up from the team of Tonga, Havoc, and Balor who walk away to discuss strategy.)

MATCH 4: Kalisto vs Kota Ibushi vs Mark Haskins vs Drew Gulak vs Heath Slater vs Dalton Castle - Six Man Battle Royal for the Last Royal Rumble Spot

Gulak eliminates Haskins first. Ibushi superkicks Slater over the top rope. Castle throws out Gulak but is then quickly dumped over by Ibushi. Kalisto puts up a fight against Ibushi but Ibushi dominates and throws him over the top rope. BUT KALISTO HANGS ON! Hideo Itami’s theme hits which distracts Ibushi and Kalisto is able to sneak up behind him… AND THROW HIM OVER!!! Kalisto wins the match and the Rumble spot at 14 minutes. After the match, Ibushi enters the ring and beats the hell out of Kalisto.

SEGMENT 5: (Chris Jericho is backstage sitting on a fancy chair with his list in hand. A crew member brings him a sandwich and drink but Jericho angrily throws them to the ground.)

Jericho: I said turkey and cheese, not ham and cheese you STUPID IDIOT! And… and how dare you! HOW DARE YOU BRING ME A TRIPLE CHOCOLATE STARBUCKS LATTE WHEN I SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR A DOUBLE CARAMEL ESPRESSO? YOU KNOW WHAT MONKEY? YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!!! God. How the hell do I focus on the Royal Rumble or the main event tonight with all these stupid idiots causing me so much stress?!!! I need a spa appointment soon, gotta get a mani-pedi, and then maybe I’ll go to the scarf store…

(Tommy End walks into frame, looking confused.)

End: Are you bloody talking to yourself?

Jericho: Uhh… no.

End: I just heard you talking about a spa. Are you really going to get a mani-pedi you homo?

Jericho: That wasn’t me.

End: Then who was it?

Jericho: … Jimmy Marvinluder.

(Hiroshi Tanahashi walks into frame.)

Tanahashi: Jimmy Marvinluder? I main evented Wrestle Kingdom with him!

Jericho: Seriously?

End: NO! You retard. He doesn’t exist. Do we seriously have to team up with YOU of all people?

Jericho: Yes you have to. Would you please shut the hell up? Do you not realize you’re in the presence of greatness. Why don’t you just… DRINK IT --

(TANAHASHI LAYS JERICHO OUT WITH A SUPERKICK!!!)

Tanahashi: Why don’t you drink that in?

(Tanahashi walks away while End laughs over Jericho before walking away too.)

SEGMENT 6: (The ring is set up for the contract signing between Shinsuke Nakamura and Kazuchika Okada. Mick Foley comes out to a huge pop and enters the ring.)

Foley: The following contract signing comes off of the heels of what has become somewhat of a blood feud… The former Ace of HYDRA faces who is undisputably the face of Chaos and Chaos World Heavyweight Champion, Shinsuke Nakamura. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome first, Kazuchika Okada!!!

(Okada comes out to an overwhelmingly negative reaction. He enters the ring and signs the contract.)

Okada: … This is the rematch that I deserve. I don’t care that I lost the title to Nakamura. Every title is entitled a rematch. You can say whatever you want about my reign, but I have defended this title three times at PPVs against six different men. Yet there’s one man I’ve almost never been able to beat. Shinsuke Nakamura, you are a once in a lifetime talent. You kick as hard as you captivate the fans… and no matter how many times I’ve been the top guy… despite all the legends of Japan I’ve beaten… I’ve never been able to beat you. But I will. One day - and that’s the Royal Rumble. I’ve made the match official, it’s just up to you now.

(Shinsuke Nakamura comes out to a huge pop from the crowd. Nakamura holds the title over his shoulder as he enters the ring and holds it up to Okada’s face.)

Nakamura: How can you have any sort of your respect for yourself? I am a firm believer of justice. I believe that those who deserve something will earn it in due time. That’s why I was in no rush to win this championship… Because I knew that the first time I tried I would do it. The first time I tried to win the Royal Rumble I made it to the final 2. The first time I tried to win the biggest match of the summer against The Rock, I won. When I decided it was time to finally challenge for the Chaos World Championship… I won it. I show no mercy in my conquest of the deserved. When I look at you and think about all the evil you committed while in HYDRA, I know what you deserve. I will break your face. Make you bleed and cry. You’re going to suffer everything that enemies of HYDRA did and will realize then that joining them was the worst decision you could’ve ever made in your life. Walking out of Royal Rumble, you’ll be a broken man.

(Nakamura signs the contract… THEN NAILS OKADA WITH A SUPERKICK BEFORE PLANTING HIM INTO THE TABLE WITH THE MICHINOKU DRIVER!!! Nakamura picks up the title and holds it high over Okada before leaving the ring and walking to the back.)

MAIN EVENT: AJ Styles, Chris Jericho, Tommy End, and Hiroshi Tanahashi vs Finn Balor, Tama Tonga, Roderick Strong, and Jimmy Havoc

Tanahashi and Tonga start off. Tanahashi dominates Tonga but Tonga tags in to Balor. Balor and Tanahashi go back and forth until Tanahashi tags in Styles. Styles and Balor have a good staredown before going at it. Styles goes for a Phenomenal Forearm but Balor counters it into the Bloody Sunday. Balor covers but End makes the save. End and Balor go at it until Tonga enters the ring. Tonga and End take each other out and Styles goes for a roll-up but Balor kicks out. Styles gains the upper hand until Balor hot-tags Strong. Strong comes in hot and goes back and forth with Styles, nailing the End of Heartache. Strong prepares for the end but Jericho runs in and nails the Codebreaker. Tanahashi enters the ring now too but Jericho gets into an argument with him. Strong crawls back and tags in Havoc while Styles tags in End. End brawls with Havoc but Havoc makes the tag out to Tonga. Jericho and Tanahashi continue to argue until Havoc comes in and takes advantage by taking down both men. End goes for Havoc but Tonga pulls him back. Styles and Balor continue to brawl but Strong takes them both out of the ring. End fights off Tonga and takes down Havoc and Strong. End hits the standing double footstomp takedown on Tonga for 3 and the win for his team.

Havoc comes back in and brawls with End until Havoc, Styles, and Balor come back into the ring. End takes Strong out of the ring. Jericho enters the ring and dumps End over and out. Havoc gets rid of Jericho while Styles and Balor take each other out… And Tanahashi comes from behind Havoc and sends him out of the ring! Kalisto comes running down but takes a superkick from Tanahashi! BUT TONGA ENTERS THE RING AND DROPS TANAHASHI WITH THE TONGAN TWIST BEFORE SENDING HIM FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! Chaos comes to an end with Tama Tonga standing tall in the ring, with Kalisto down and the rest of the RR competitors standing outside of the ring.