Episode 11

## Summary

Jen sits in bed to talk to you about getting her front teeth knocked out twice, a busted chin, running from bees, getting braces, Invisalign and veneers, feeling cranky because of "summer brain" and reads a few listener emails.

## Notes

**0:14 - 5:33** Jen says she isn't in the mood to podcast. She plugs Drunk History and explains her involvement in the series. She says not to write her with career advice.

**5:33 - 8:45** Jen gets into the weeks topic: Her dental history. She says she spent her hiatus from work going to dentist appointments. She had seven teeth replaced, and explains why. She says "thank you" for all the emails telling her that her teeth were fucked up. Jen tells a root canal story.

**8:45 - 15:23** Jen rants about people thinking she is bitter about her divorce, and why she isn't. She rants about "Live, Laugh, Love" signs and "Keep Calm" signs, and why she hates them. She says not to send her emails. She tells us the correct way to pronounce "aunt".

**15:23 - 16:22** Jen says she doesn't have PMS, she's just cranky that her vacation is almost over. She could do nothing and never be bored.

**16:22 - 25:25** Jen talks about getting invisalign, and how she could never find it, because it's invisible. She wonders if her Nana's tooth has decomposed yet. Jen talks about getting her temporary vaneers, taking Klonopin, wanting anesthesia, and her confusion about why dentists do some things that they do. She says not to email her.

**25:25 - 29:22** Jen compares the old Dean Martin Roasts to the new Comedy Central Roasts, and how roasts should be like the Oscars for comedians. She says I Love Lucy doesn't hold up for her.

**29:22 - 36:02** Jen tells a story about having her baby teeth punched out by a 5 year old. She explains all her different teeth sizes and why she has a tiny lisp. She tells a story about a bee causing her to wreck her bike, kill her two front teeth, and destroy her chin at age 8. She offers up many examples of what her chin looked like. She says her two front teeth turned black and have now been dead for 30 years.

**36:02 - 39:39** Jen says she chipped a tooth the night before her wedding. She tells a story about her childhood dentist pushing flouride treatments on her; she imitates her mom telling her she didn't need them. She talks about her new dentist and how he's a Vegan. She jokes about what a boyfriend is supposed to do at the dentist.

**39:39 - 42:40** Jen apologizes for being testy and angry this week. She plugs her merch and upcoming shows.

**42:40 - 1:02:23** Jen reads some listener emails about illegal bridge climbing, massages, movies for the masses, three ring circuses, record collecting, and interjects personal stories into them all. Jen doesn't like people touching her feet. Jen lists some of her jobs from 12 yrs old to college: Babysitter, waitress, ice cream shop, cashier, box office, library, Blue Man Group. Jen explains the sentiment behind reading listener emails. She tells a story about how she punched a boy in the face for giving her a gift.

## Quotes

"I don't care if I have *two* fans. I don't want anyone following me - Instagram, twitter, all this nonsense - that doesn't get who I am. I have made it *so* easy to find out my thoughts on my own life."

"I understand the sentiment: "Hey, we should live and laugh and love". I don't even think you have to tell people to do that. If we're alive, we're living. We're gonna laugh, it's involuntary sometimes. And we're gonna love, and it's not always up to us when we love and who we love and what we love."

"I'm not sure why it's illegal to have sex with a raft."

"I can out-bike a bee."