Lollipop Chainsaw 2/Quotes

*"I know what you're thinking... I'm getting SO fat. But they're so YUM!" — Juliet*
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This is a list of quotes from the game *Lollipop Chainsaw 2*, listed by character.

## Bernie Rubbish

* *"Well, if it not lollipop-eating slut. Me has big surprise for you."*
* *"Now, stay put and no peek."*
* *"Open eyes and meet pet dinosaur, Killer K. Rool!"*
* *"Errr! You wrong! Me does believe it breakfast time for Killer K. Rool!"*
* *"Hi-ho, Killer K. Rool!"*
* *"Killer K. Rool for eating YOU, not BULLETS!"*

## Captain Zombeard

* *"Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of skunk fart!"*
* *"Thar she blows! It's that zombie-hunting slut who gets to walk the plank!"*
* *"Shiver me timbers! You're gonna kill me?! I bet you'll never, I'm sure! I'll make sure that my murder against you is painful!"*

## Dr. Pattrick

* *"Perhaps my experiment is a success."*
* *"Of course, it's me. The cops don't know the problem, but I do."*
* *"One time, I made an experiment to escort the denizens of San Romero to the present, where I went to the past right before the Rotten World began to hit the city. Now, the multiverse is overrun by zombies. Each dimension overrun is taken over by one of the Dark Purveyors. And then, they kidnapped my past self. Only you can recover the peace from the multiverse before the zombies occupy all the dimensions. Are we clear?"*

## Gohfigger

* *"It's like you said. You can't heed anyone! If I never kill that slutty little fag again, it will be too soon. Ooh... my vagina."*

## Helicopter pilot

* *"Okay then, Nick. You're gonna be just fine."*
* *"Hold it! Fuck! Release the backup!"*

## Josey

* *"Whoaaaaaaa, babeeeeee! Time to get the funk out!"*
* *"Welcome to the show, girlie! Looking for your precious past mad scientist friend?"*
* *"Not this time! I'm tired of playing second banana to my girls back in the Fulci Fun Center, so I've got a backstage pass for you to get up close and personal with my IFO of mass percussion!"*
* *"Until then, if you want the past doc back, you need to win another game with me. Make your way to tonight's concert. I can't wait to headbang with my cuties like it's 1983! Come ready to rock!"*
* *"Tonight, live at The Gila Monster Den... get ready for a KILLER performance!"*
* *"That's far enough with the murdering already! Showoff."*
* *"Zombie! Leave behind nothing but a smoking crater!"*
* *"Kerrang raves: A DEADLY display that will BLOW your mind (and body, into pieces.)"*
* *"A performance so funkin' electrifying you may just spontaneously end up on fire! Or not-so-spontaneously..."*
* *"We're just getting the funk started."*
* *"You'll be right on time... if you scurry without getting bit first!"*
* *"Admittance for tonight's performance is free. First come, first TORN TO SHITS!"*
* *"Let's see that blood spray!"*
* *"Yoshino! Tenacious zombie hunter! Kill my favorite bitch, will you?!"*
* *"Just make it quick right now."*
* *"You paid for the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge because this show will MELT YOUR KAWAII FUNKIN' FACE OFF!"*
* *"The show of the century! Tonight, 10pm and 6 feet under!"*
* *"You better watch out, girlie! Or else you're gonna miss the show!"*
* *"A spectacle so funkin' incredible you'll never believe your eyes, or ears, or failing internal organs!"*
* *"The best show you'll ever see! The LAST show you'll ever see!"*
* *"Okay all you bloodthirsty motherfunkers! Put your foxy little hands together for... JOKE GRIPS!"*
* *"I'm the pervert? You're the one with a head hanging from your hip."*
* *"How many times do I halfta tell ya, girlie? If you want to win the past scientist back, you have to play the game! 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4!"*
* *"Prepare for a funkin' beat-ing of the game!"*
* *"I'm feelin' funky!"*
* *"Stop ruining my solo, babeee!"*
* *"Quit it quit it quit it quit it!"*
* *"Leave those buttons on my machinery alone! It's fragile."*
* *"Girlie, you call that KAWAII METAL?!"*
* *"You're breaking my things!"*
* *"Will you quit interrupting my set?!"*
* *"Dammit! The show must go on!"*
* *"My equipment!"*
* *"You really know how to make me funkin' furious!"*
* *"Funk you! We'll do this the hard way!"*
* *"Hands off the buttons!"*
* *"No cheerleaders allowed on the buttons!"*
* *"Hold it! If you kill me, you'll never see the doctor!"*
* *"Funked up."*

## Juliet Starling

* *"Welcome back to my bedroom. It's been a month since I dealt with a zombie outbreak during my 18th birthday. And it's been a stupid and dangerous journey. Ugh!"*
* *"I'm not sure if there are some news showing up, but I don't think I wanna find out. Not even a single zombie is getting past me nor gonna eat me alive!"*
* *"To keep my energy up, I eat lollipops. Like I said, I know what you're thinking... I'm getting SO fat. But they're so YUM!"*
* *"My boyfriend, Nick Carlyle, is back to normal as usual. I hope he won't be bit by a zombie once again."*
* *"And there's a newspaper. According to an article, the remodeling of San Romero High School is halfway finished, and yet, there's... a disturbance in time and space?! What the dick?! I gotta find out what the disturbance is!"*
* *"Another zombie outbreak, huh? Imagine that time the zombies began to overrun the multiverse."*
* *"This time, I swear it!"*
* *"Oh, How to Cook Zombie. I remember that one."*
* *"Wow, I haven't realized that the police aren't zombies!"*
* *"Nick!"*
* *"Hope you'll meet me again, Nick!"*
* *"Perhaps I can assist the backup."*
* *"Dr. Pattrick, is that you?"*
* *"OMG. What is it?"*
* *"Crystal, sir. Let's go, Nick! We've got a past Dr. Pattrick to rescue!"*
* *"You know what they say: 'It's all fun and games until the Mega Police shows up.'"*
* *"So, we must save the past Dr. Pattrick after killing all the zombies in the multiverse?"*
* *"This is not good."*
* *"This cannot be right."*
* *"I'm the one who rescued Rosalind from the clutches of you. And now that you've survived that defeat, I'm here to teach you a lesson!"*
* *"Oh, a Mega Lollipop. I wonder what this guy will do?"*
* *"Not unless I want to."*
* *"What the dick?! My flesh feels all jiggled, and my voice sounds quite manly!"*
* *"Very funny, Nick. I've gained lots of weight. Now I can deal with almost anything, including zombies who block my path up!"*
* *"Boy, oh boy, I've never played Zombie Basketball at the multiverse before!"*
* *"Alright, you undead dicks! Time to suffer the fate of Monster Laser Juliet!"*
* *"You'll be shocked into the ground!"*
* *"OMFG. Looks like the Grilled Tootsie Rolls are ready! Lemme add some strawberry syrup on one, and some on another! And there we go!"*
* *"No problem, Nick! They're as delicious as lollipops!"*
* *"Let's get moving, then."*
* *"Damn, it sure is dark in here. Can we use the Monster Laser to guide us?"*
* *"F'd. Up."*
* *"Wait a minute, funk fuck. I thought Joke Grips was a hip-hop and rap band, like Death Grips, not a heavy metal idol band similar to BabyMetal! And you're the one who demands revenge at all costs! Now hand over the past Dr. Pattrick, you perv!"*
* *"There he is! A Dark Purveyor up in the crow's nest!"*
* *"That is IT. If you're not gonna play fair, then neither will I! Now walk the plank or die!"*
* *"OMFG. A talking Chinese bottle of potion."*
* *"You just don't know when to quit, do you? Too bad for you. You should learn how to take no for an answer. Now go take a bath. Because, honestly, you still smell like shit!"*
* *"Rosalind!"*
* *"Wow, I didn't realize that the sundews are members of the audience for Zombie Basketball, nor that there's a basketball court in a trailer home in the bayou!"*
* *"Nope, Nick and I are from the 21st century."*
* *"Looks like two sundews are trying to eat the halves of Sundewie's body."*
* *"Whoa! Damn, this ice is so fucking slippery!"*
* *"Aurora Borealis?! Brrrr! Must've left my jacket at home... Brrr!"*
* *"OMG. I'm not crossing that tar pit."*
* *"That'll be a great idea."*
* *"Oh, I love suprises."*
* *"Okay then. Nick, let's hide our eyes."*
* *"Now, you're thinking."*
* *"What the dick?! I thought Killer K. Rool was a crocodile, not a tyrannosaurus rex!"*
* *"God dammit."*

## Mariska

* *"Ah, sister Juliet. And brother Nick."*
* *"I'm not a Chinese bottle of potion... I'm that smelly hippy that you defeated back in O'Bannon Farm, and I'm here to tell you that I have a fun little game for you to play! I've got a reward for the clever zombie hunter who can reach my psychedelic homelands... but you'll better defeat my deadly diabolical creations along the way!"*
* *"Sooo, it's been a month. Whatcha been up to? Oh, me? Mostly the same... mixing psychedelics, brewing psychedelics, doing psychedelics, testing psychedelics..."*
* *"This dimension was very peaceful when I arrived. Unfortunately, my psychedelics had some... murderous effects on the inhabitants. \*sigh\* All the better to test you with..."*
* *"Ah, look at us, just like the old days... working together against those who keep us down and humiliate us by forcing us to pick out our own birthday card and sign them from him! I mean... he could have at least paid half!"*
* *"I'm not saying I see the appeal of all that murdering you do... but I don't think I have the right body for it. ...Yet."*
* *"Any guesses on your reward? I'll give you a clue: it's something you've had before!"*
* *"Yes, hurry up! Your reward is just up ahead!"*
* *"Oh good, you've arrived!"*
* *"Excuse me?! Is that how you say thank you?!"*
* *"Now, back to what I was saying. Congratulations on surviving my trials! And now for your reward!"*
* *"Just hold still while I test this."*
* *"Stay put!"*
* *"Quit shooting me! It hurts!"*
* *"Enjoy your trip!"*
* *"This guy has extra borax!"*
* *"One truth becomes two... Two truths become four... The four of us just wants to know if this is hellish and lethal!"*
* *"One truth becomes two... Two truths become four... It's time to know full well that we will grant you no mercy!"*

## Mega Police officer

* *"Hold still, so we'll shoot you to death!"*

## Nick Carlyle

* *"Over here, Juliet!"*
* *"I'm so glad you showed up! The zombies from a dimensional rift have arrived, so I called the Mega Police, and they saved me by taking me to the helicopter!"*
* *"Well then. Until we meet again, Juliet!"*
* *"You saved me by decapitating me again! Thanks, Juliet! I'm not a zombie anymore!"*
* *"Alright then, Juliet!"*
* *"Yep. Now, the past Dr. Pattrick is around here somewhere."*
* *"Well, I told Juliet that he's been kidnapped in the multiverse."*
* *"Like I said, IFO stands for Identified Fucking Object."*
* *"Don't eat the whole thing. It's got too many calories."*
* *"Ha! You turned obese!"*
* *"Okay, Juliet. Good luck and kill the zombies with the power of the Monster Laser Lollipop!"*
* *"Okay, Juliet. Once you're done eating your Grilled Tootsie Roll, let me have another one."*
* *"Juliet, I hate to cancel the lunchtime, but we gotta see what that Kami Band drummer is up to!"*
* *"Maybe. I don't know."*
* *"Be careful, Juliet! He's serious this time!"*
* *"You sure? I don't see him."*
* *"Not that it matters."*
* *"This is where Rosalind was kidnapped, but we should start playing first."*
* *"I never, it's a bluegrass Dark Purveyor."*
* *"Was Tim McGraw the name of your first song?"*
* *"I think we're lost in the taiga under the northern lights, or should I say, Aurora Borealis."*
* *"Not unless we grab a Mega Lollipop and push that woolly mammoth into this tar."*
* *"I'd rather close my eyes."*

## Past Dr. Pattrick

* *"Help! Please save me, Juliet! Hurry!"*

## Sundewie

* *"What the balls diddly-squat is going on in this bayou?"*
* *"Not from 'round here, aren't you, bitch?"*
* *"I don't think I correctly recollect liking your type. I end, furthermore, that I is gonna decapitate you in your neck all around my bayou like there's no tomorrow. I is gonna wrap my banjo strings right into yers."*
* *"Right! That is it. I is gonna give you a beheading! Here we go!"*
* *"Sundew segregation forever..."*