Goofball Simpson

The Goofball Simpson, otherwise known as just Goofball or "The Lizard", is a mysterious Simpson even by Simpson standards. An older man with a beard that looks like he could die any second, Goofball is known to be the one that teaches his fellow Simpsons the forbidden arts. Goofball Simpson is one of the least known about Simpson family members. We know little about him but he says that he wasn't born at home, wasn't born in a hospital, he was born in a classroom after his mother fled brutal violence in Norway.

Goofball's relation to the council or membership status is entirely up for speculation, but he does have a lot of influence and power in his own right. A clearly powerful Simpson, he has been around since before the Great War, how far back in a mystery, however he is assumed to be well over 300 years old, this reflects in his power as he is well experienced. He can make people's ears bleed and he doesn’t even have to do anything or make any noise to trigger it.

The Goofball Simpsons has predicted that Brian Blessed will die before the 30th of september 2021.

Goofball Simpson owns a steam powered train that can phase into and out of reality on a whim. This train runs on normal train tracks and is known to be capable of ramming other trains at high speed without a dent or slowing. The train is crewed by many abominable creatures that Goofball claims are simply on their daily commute. These creatures can be seen reading news papers with unreadable text.

The children of Ainsworth has a nursury rhyme: "The Lizard comes, the Lizard cleans, his steam engine sparkles and it gleams, the grimble, gromble and Samiad boiling pot, The Lizard runs the blooming lot." It is assumed that the Lizard is infact Goofball Simpson.

He lives in an endless labyrinth of tunnels called Matopolus.

He's not exactly well liked by most of the people of Ainsworth due to his overbearing ways. Goofball Simpson likes to attend the cinema with 18 grilled chicken strips, 5 tower burgers from his favorite fast food place and chips. As a hobby he likes to search the woods for nuts and pinecones, if he fails his search he will leap from the tree branches while laughing to himself. He is also known for leaving sat navs, for the local youth, on the side of the road outside of the Methodist church in the village of Ainsworth early in the morning. It should be noted that he has a habit of using the word "Lizard" when referring to himself. In addition to all this, he is also known to have a penchant for gambling and has a distant connection to a man in the Americas that goes by the name "The Gambling King" who claims to also have Simpson heritage.

He seems to enjoy the company of his pet rat named Mr. Burns, who is very loyal and obedient to its master. He often refers to Mr. Burns as "Mr.", which makes him sound more like a boss than a friend.

Goofball Simpson, in reality, though he doesn't seem like a dangerous individual, he is, infact, one of the most lethal Simpsons. He doesn't actually need weapons or outside help, he is capable of destroying a tank battalion on his own. He has, on record, simply smiled at a police officer trying to arrest him before said police officer was pulled through a hole in the universe leading to the endless maze known only as Matopolus. He tends to use his power in subtle ways, however, as he just wants to mind his own business.

His main goal in life seems to be sitting down and eating specific food items in specific places. He says that: "The library is the greatest place on earth for eating fudge, cheese and buttermilk straight from the mixing pot" that "McDonalds is the best place to eat some bangers and mash". He seems to like staring at others while he eats, much like Alexander Conrad Simpson. He is, however, an excellent chef and often gives his leftovers to the homeless. He hires people to give them out to. His wishes are simple: just for people to not bother him while he eats or he'll kill them and/or he will send them to Matopolus.

The Goofball Simpson was nearly banished to his home, Matopolus, by the rest of the Simpson Family after Rabbi Yoseppi Simpson suddenly appeared, he was quickly accepted as a brother, but his true heritage is unknown. Yoseppi tried to have both the Goofball and The Tooth Collector ousted from the family for unknown reasons.