Toast

* Modern
* Colonial

**Toast** is a clueless teenager with a massive sunburn whose name comes from the idea that his brain is fried like toast (as his jingle puts it, "his skin's just as fried as his brain"). While he is more intelligent than Lucky Bob, he seems to be the one most oblivious to the world around him.

Toast's lone interests include surfing, music, TV, movies, food, and other such topics. This is shown by way of a talk show he occasionally hosts, titled *Ask Me If I Care*, which is of course an oxymoron. In his role as the host of *Ask Me If I Care*, he brings historical figures in to describe what made them famous. Toast, of course, doesn't really care about their exploits, and as a result of their failure to captivate his interest, he always launches his guests into space.

Toast is regularly featured in a lot of sketches throughout the series. In two episodes in particular, he has stated that he was held back in school for 3 years. Judging by the fact that he said he had to take 6 grade English 3 times, that could mean that at the start of the series, he is 15 years old.

Toast typically wears a white tank top, a light blue baseball cap worn backwards, purple striped swim trunks, and a pair of white and blue sneakers. He has long platinum blonde hair, a massive sunburn, two freckles on each side of his cheek (sometimes only one is visible on the left cheek), and an overbite (buckteeth). Toast typically speaks in a stereotypical Valley accent and his personality seems to be based off of and inspired by the famous 90s duo, Bill and Ted.

Of all the characters on the show, Toast seems to be the character who has his appearance messed with a lot by the animators. There have been so many instances of Toast being grossly off-model. One of the most egregious offenses happened in an early episode of season 1 when he was featured in the audience for one of the sketches.

Toast seems to get along with most of the kids on the cast, including his co-star, Pepper Mills who is regularly depicted as slightly taller than him but might be around the same age as him.

In fanfiction, Toast is often shown in a romantic relationship with Pepper Mills. Besides the obvious fact that he and Pepper are the only teenage characters on *Histeria!*, this apparently stems from the fact that, in a song about the works of William Shakespeare, he and Pepper portray Romeo and Juliet. Evidence of the relationship also appears in the siege warfare sketch of "Big Fat Baby Theatre"; when Toast orders Loud to bring in a fan, Loud brings Pepper, who immediately embraces Toast and calls him "the dreamiest".

Ironically, within the canonical series, Toast doesn't appear to have any feelings for Pepper whatsoever, seeing her more as a friend and co-star. In fact, most of the time, he's even near Pepper he is easily startled by her high-pitched screams and appears perplexed and a little disturbed by her hyper-energetic mannerisms. While it's not impossible for Toast to be infatuated with Pepper, given his behavior around her most of the time, him having a crush on her seems unlikely.

## Character jingle

His jingle parodies the theme from the 1959-1963 sitcom *Dobie Gillis* and it went:

* Toast, wants a wave that's gnarly,
* Toast, wants to ride a Harley,
* Toast, wants a life without a care!
* His sunburn is the same but he'll never complain,
* 'Cause his skin is just as fried as his brain.
* He'll remain on the beach, that's his domain.
* And Toast thinks thinking is nothing but a pain!
* Toast!