Oklahomic Fifth Regime

The Oklahomic Fifth Regime was a sovereign communist autocracy which existed in what was once Oklahoma, United States. The regime rose to power after the state was ravaged by a horrendous spell of Hungarian Nanobug Jitters.

## Time for A Change

By 30 AB, over half of the population of Oklahoma had perished. The two American Political Parties (who had become caricatures under the dicatorship of Joe Biden), the Blue Corporate Interests Party and the Red Corporate Interests Party, were set to hold an election to elect the state's next governor. Usually, this would be the end of the story; however, something grand occurred. There was a large portion of undecided voters who felt dissatisfied with the performance of their incumbent government officials who allowed the Hungarian Nanobug Jitters to kill their friends and family.

A man by the name of Frenté Zix, a veteran of the Great META War and certified forklift operator, decided to run for governor as a joke. A staunch capitalist, he masqueraded as a Communist and ran on the Communist Party of Oklahoma's platform.

Much to Frenté Zix' surprise, he won in a landslide, defeating incumbent Red Corporate Interests Party Governor Rick Egg. After his election, Zix attempted to reject his nomination; however, it was too late to stop what was coming.

## Communist Revolution

In celebration, the downtrodden citizens of Oklahoma had begun to revolt in the streets. They attacked Waifurian Civilian Protection soldiers and policemen, and destroyed and tore down local monuments and buildings. Governor Egg attempted to curtail this by calling in the Imperial Guard; however, the angry and fed up Oklahomans were able to overwhelm even these. During a speech intended to calm the public's nerves, Governor Egg was shot in the head with a heavily modified semi-automatic water gun, blinding him. Him and his family would flee Oklahoma.

The mobs rallied around Frenté Zix, calling him their 'Savior'. He was installed as General Secretary of the Regime, and was granted almost absolute power over the state. Not knowing what else to do, Zix continued to act like a Communist, feverishly studying Lenin and Marx and simply repeating their talking points daily to the public.

## Bloody Oklahoma

The Waifurian Empire didn't take kindly to this rebellion. Emperor Biden placed heavy, very pointedly-worded sanctions on Frenté Zix and his family. "Oh no, not Sanctions! I'd better stop!", Zix was quoted with saying in reply, leaning heavily into this new Communist persona of his.

The revolution spread outward throughout Oklahoma, eventually with the Fifth Regime conquering the entire area of the state. Dissenters of the Fifth Regime were either shot or extradited to the horrific realm of Missouri.

The Fifth Regime couldn't maintain its sovereignty against an interplanetary Empire forever, though. Soon enough, the MTO reserves were called to invade and retake Oklahoma. They utilized the feared and widely-criticized Scorched Cock Policy against the Oklahomic Revolutionaries, rendering many helpless or dead.

Within two weeks, half of the state had been reconquered. Captive revolutionaries were subject to economics classes and CPAC conferences in an effort to 'deconvert' them from communism.

## The Communists Strike Back

Frenté Zix wasn't having this, however. After experiencing a stroke and subsequent mercury poisoning after drinking a thermometer, Zix had been reinvigorated with what he called 'Comrade Pride'. He began to genuinely believe he was a god, and preached to the populous about how everyone outside of Oklahoma were terrorists and needed to be executed. The regime devolved into a chaotic gigacult which worshipped Zix like an actual deity.

The Oklahomic Fifth Regime became one of the most xenophobic states of all time, ranking 4th in this category Omniversal History. Giant effigies of The Mummy were constructed of barley and wood and burned with Combine neutrofire. Anyone who attempted to enter or leave the country would be tried for "heresy against Our Good Lord" and, in all occassions, were burned at the stake after being doused in corn oil.

Neighboring territories of the Waifurian Empire began to complain about this massive cult, citing "unpleasant corn smells". Additionally, many Missourian farmers reported their means of production being seized unlawfully by Oklahomic Communists.

In 32 AB, a massive domestic terrorist plot was leaked to the Waifurian CIA by an unknown whistleblower within Zix' (very small) personal guards. The plot involved carpet bombing major Waifurian cities, as well as the seizure of Ohio and installation of an Oklahomic puppet government in Cleveland. When Zix learned of this leak, he killed every member of his guard(rather than trying to figure out who did it).

The Waifurian CIA seized the opportunity to assassinate Zix. They simply walked into his house, dragged him to the garage, and put his skull into a hydraulic press. Heinous things were done to him, and his body was suspended on his clothesline upside down for the Revolutionaries to see.

## Quelled

With their god-leader gone, many of the Communists felt disheartened with their government. This was convenient, as the Waifurian CIA had staged an entire coup against the regime. They reinstalled Rick Egg as Governor and tore down the many, many statues of Frenté Zix which had populated the state.

The moral of this story, dear reader, is to *never* ask an Oklahoman what happened from 30-32 AB.