Episode 85: Maintain Globe

**Video:**
1:00:08

**Video:**
maintain globe.mp4

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

Our show is about Globe Hell Warning but what even is a globe? It looks like a round map but it isn't one and its shaped like the same as our planet. So what are we going to do about that? Find out on this episode of our podcast.

## Idea Details

* Idea: Maintain Globe, Maintain Your Globe
* Creator of idea: Josiah
* Purpose of idea: Well, Drew, I like that you talked about uh, uh -- (Drew: "The world.") -- circular shapes and death. (Drew: "Bro, we're not talkin' about your tummy.") .......What's that supposed to mean? (Drew: "Well, it's a big circle. I don't know what that means, exactly.") I'm gonna swallow you whole. (Drew: "You'd like that, wouldn't you?") You wanna do a vore episode? You wanna turn this into World *Vore* III?? Is that what you want? (Drew: "We *should* do a vore episode!") We *should* do -- we should do a World Vore -- (Drew: "We should go to that place -- There's a place where you can crawl into a giant uh inflatable whale!") Your house. Your own house. (Drew: "Uh and they pour, like, goo and juice in it so that you can crawl in it and it's supposed to simulate being eaten by a whale. We could do something like that!") Well, I wanted to talk to you about -- uh, you know, you were showing me that the globe was being incinerated by the moon, -- (Drew: "Mhm.") -- uh and the globe is part of our title of our show: Globe, -- (Drew: "Yes. Hole. Globe Hole.") -- and it's also where we live: the globe, -- (Drew: "Calgary.") -- and we need to learn how to *maintain* the globe, because saving the Earth is the only way to -- I mean, I don't know why we need to save the Earth but it's a thing that -- (Drew: "It would be a good -- it's a good thing to do!") It's a leftist uh thing to do, isn't it? Sa-- (Drew: "Yeah, I think so!") Save the Earth? So uh one of the problems with the Earth is that there's so many holes in it right now. And I'm not talking about the Globe Hole or the one that you made us go to Hell for packages. (Drew: "OK.") But there's too many holes like wounds and damages to it. And -- (Drew: "Like what?") Caves. (Drew: "Caves -- well, that's not *wounds*.") Well, a cave is kind of like a open sore. (Drew: "I mean, it's a natural formation.") Yeah, and so are sores sometimes. If you get hurt naturally. (Drew: "Mhm.") So we need to heal the Earth, there's all kind of problems uh with environment uh aaaaaand damages to the Earth, and we need to heal it! And so I was thinking we could use kind of a poetic look at the Earth, because sometimes we can -- you know, sometimes you practice -- let's say, for example, you're a ark-- arktect. (Drew: "OK.") You're building an ark. And you use a model of a small -- (Drew: "Why -- wait. Architects don't build arks. That's Noah. Noah builds arks. Architects --") What do you mean 'no one' builds arks? Lots of people do! (Drew: "Who?") Arktects! You're saying 'no one' builds arks?? (Drew: "Ar-- no, they don't build arks! Architects, they build buildings!") Someone builds them! (Drew: "Noah!") 'Somewa' builds them! (Drew: "No. Uh, Noah. Noah. Noah's ark.") 'Somewa' must! [unintelligible] (Drew: "By the way, they don't have arks anymore; they have boats.") Well, OK, let's say the arktects a -- what, then a boat-tech is building a boat, they'll use a small model of it to understand what they can do to make the boat uh better. (Drew: \*yawn\*") Am I boring you? You're falling asleep over here? (Drew: "Yeah.") This is your only fuckin' -- you have one job! Do this -- save the world once a week. (Drew: "I'm trying!!") So *listen* to me! (Drew: "I *am* listening!! Boats!") Architects will build a ark with a model of a smaller ark and then they'll know how to make it. (Drew: "Didn't we do World Wide Ark already? Didn't we already do this?") We're not doing it this week! (Drew: "We've already done this before, man.") So I'm saying to you: we can take the idea of a -- we can take the idea of the Earth and ta-- look at a small version, and by learning how to maintain and care for a *small* globe, we'll use these ideas and make it a bigger... the glo-- the one globe. (Drew: "So you're saying we're going to learn how to -- OK, we're gonna start taking care of little globes as if we're, like, --") The episode is called *Maintain Your Globe*, we're gonna learn about what is a globe. A globe is sacred! Cause we're on one! We're gonna learn about -- all about globes so that we know how to help -- (Drew: "Yeah, you *are* on one.") ....So what *is* globe? Let's find that out first. What *is* globe?
* Timetable: No timetable was given for Maintain Globe but since the idea is that we maintain for the globe and care for it and treat it with care, it can be implemented immediately.
* Idea details:
	+ Much like an arktect will build a ark with a model of a smaller ark and then they'll know how to make it, or a boat-tech will use a small model of a boat to understand what they can do to make the boat better, we will take the idea of the Earth and look at a small version and by learning how to maintain and care for a small globe, we'll use these ideas and apply them to the bigger 'one globe'.
	+ Globes are round.
	+ Something helpful to add to our globe would be if the richer countries wanted more light during the day, then they could control the speed of the Earth's rotation.
	+ Once you have a globe in front of you, you can figure out what you can do with a globe, which is why we each need to have a globe.
	+ If you care about globes, then you have to hate maps. People will have to pick a side.
	+ If you made a globe the same size as the globe that we're on, that would solve a lot of problems. Some people would probably go to live on the globe even if there are no resources since they could still build a home.
	+ We may be able to learn how to repair our Earth by learning how to repair globe.
	+ The globe is fragile and round and there's flight plans and there's a light inside of it that needs to be maintained and cared for and handled with care and be gentle. So we need to take care of the Earth.

## Devil Play

* There was no devil play in this episode.

## Notable Events

* Josiah and Drew discussed whether you have to slurp a drink to get all the flavor.
* Drew was self-isolating in exile on an island for the recording of this episode. He would not say the name of the island (or the name of the plane that took him there) but did reveal that it is a tax haven.
* Drew revealed that he does not have a girlfriend.
* Josiah and Drew discussed that Drew has a weird lump on his back and is going to die.
* Josiah and Drew discussed a coming cure for death called Dielenol.
* Josiah revealed that he has a lower torso cam on Drew.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "How To Actually Survive Getting Shot" about how to survive World War III if you get shot.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "How to Survive a Nuke" about how it's happened: a nuclear explosion.
* Drew did an impression of Walter White, aka Heisenberg, from *Breaking Bad*.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "What If the Moon Exploded?" about how our nearest neighbor is a full Moon no more.
* Josiah and Drew discussed how World War III on the moon would work, including how each side would have half of the light side of the moon and half of the dark side of the moon so that all the spies would be on the dark side of the moon.
* Drew revealed that his net worth is probably like $40 billion and his asking price would be like $200 billion.
* Josiah and Drew discussed doing a vore episode, possibly about World Vore III.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "What is GLOBE?" about how GLOBE Community members share their views. Drew may have been sabotaging Josiah at the start of this video.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The Difference Between Maps and Globes" about what shape is a globe.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Maps and Globes" about maps and globes, and the difference between them.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Maps and Globes for Kids | Noodle Kidz Educational Video" about how you may need a map... or a globe?
* Josiah and Drew discussed their wish that their listeners say things like, "Wow, that's *really* helpful!" while listening to episodes of Globe Hell Warning.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Maps and Globes" about how since the earth is round, what is the best way to represent it?
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" about how the song "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" is a 1908 Tin Pan Alley song by Jack Norworth and Albert Von Tilzer.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Pizza Jokes 2 (no audio)" about how, in honor of National Pizza Day 2022 (February , here are more pizza jokes.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "On Wisconsin: Swing Guitar Tribute to Badger Basketball" about how, whether your a "big fan" or not, you have to hand it to this year's Wisconsin Badgers Men's Basketball team.
* Josiah and Drew discussed eventually revisiting Bill 'breitlinks', the YouTube uploader of a few of the videos they watched.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Great Teen Reads: 6 Teen Humor Novels" about how humor books are great reads, the action moves quickly and there are plenty of laughs along the way.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Maps and Globes Song for Kindergarten" about a song about maps and globes. Josiah and Drew sang along. Drew may have been sabotaging Josiah at the start of this video.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "10 Best World Globes 2020".
* Josiah revealed a globe he has in his home. Drew revealed he does not own any globes.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Globe" about what a globe can do in your home.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Globes" about a girl who loves to interview people about globes.
* Globe Balls Warning
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "How to Change the Bulb in a Replogle Desk Globe" about how the bulbs in the Replogle desk globes tend to burn out after a year or so.
* Josiah and Drew rewatched "Take Me Out To The Ball Game".
* Josiah discussed the possibility of replacing Drew with Bill 'breitlinks' as co-host of Globe Hell Warning.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "Well, you know, they can't all be f-- and this is a free episode; this is not a Patreon episode, so I think we should do the worst, most easy jokes on here. That's what she said."
* "I know you love Johnny Depp. Cause he's an abuser."
* "What if World War III was dogs trying to eat us?"
* [On the topic of the Cold War] "I guess they couldn't have a Cold War now cause of global warmi-- global warning."
* "The problem with these so-called experts - and it's exactly like COVID - they'e using too much jargon! How do you survive? What's he saying here? He's saying all this science! Too much science!"
* "I think that if the bullet, as soon as -- kind of like a RPG: if you tap A when you get hit in a RPG, it's not as painful. I think if, right as the bullet touches your skin, if you blink really hard, I think it wouldn't hurt as much."
* "You think World War III would... involve the moon? That's kind of outside of world. The moon."
* [On the topic of a Pink Floyd moon war] "Maybe when they said, 'Hey, teachers, leave those kids alone!', that was a menaphor for war."
* "Do you think that Walt Disney could purchase uh Globe Hell Podcast Network?"
* "I'm gonna swallow you whole. You wanna do a vore episode? You wanna turn this into World *Vore* III?? Is that what you want?"
* "So uh one of the problems with the Earth is that there's so many holes in it right now. And I'm not talking about the Globe Hole or the one that you made us go to Hell for packages."
* "So what *is* globe? Let's find that out first. What *is* globe?"
* "Well, this video doesn't play. So that's just *fuckin* great. Are you sabotaging me this week?"
* "What do *you* think a gl-- Right now, gun to your head, sniper outside your window pointed at your head right now, uh may or may not be a metaphor, there might be somebody that I've hired in Calgary uh with a red dot over your head right now, back of your head: What i-- What do you think is a globe, real quick?"
* "You could put a globe inside your purse! Lord knows you've got everything else in there."
* [On the topic of a zoo map] "What if they made a zoo *globe*?"
* [In response to seeing a globe] "Damn, there really *do* be a lot of ocean out there. Motherfuckers is thirsty!"
* "Water usually blue."
* "Thwarfed! You don't know that word 'thwarfed'??"
* "Yeah, that might be helpful thing to add to ours: if you -- if the richer countries wanted more light during the day, then we -- they could control the speed."
* "And that's the other thing, and I think we need to remember that: if you're -- why I was really trying to hammer home the difference: if you care about globes, then you have to *hate* maps. As he just said: they're distorted. You have to pick a side: either globe or map."
* "If you made the globe the normal si-- the same size as the globe that we're *on*, that could solve a lot of problems."
* "We can learn how to repair our g-- uh Earth, maybe - I'm just uh suggesting this: by learning how to repair globe, we can learn how to repair Globe!"
* [On the topic of a guy who likes globes who works in a map shop] "I don't know why he works in a map shop if he likes globes."
* "What's the wattage of the Earth globe, I wonder?"
* "Replogle globe."
* "So this -- imagine if we could do this with Earth! Replace the soul of the replogle Earth. What if we made the Earth replogle? Replogle."
* [On the topic of the hole in the bottom of a replogle globe] "I know what you're thinking about that hole right now."
* "Very fragile, the globe. Something to remember."

### Drew

* [In response to Josiah saying he looks like a scientist] "Why, because I have glasses? Four-eyes? Fuck you. How dare you. How dare you. How dare you, dude. How dare you."
* "I'm in the tropics, dude."
* "You don't know anything about the Island Boys, do you?"
* "Well, here's the thing, Josiah: World War III might happen."
* [On the topic of how to phrase Josiah's idea for a tweet about whether you need to have seen World War I and World War II before World War III] "Just, s-- whoever's gonna tweet it: just make it make sense. Make It Make Sense!"
* "The body is notoriously allergic to being shot at."
* [On the topic of how to survive getting shot] "The bullet's heading at you, you start running toward it at the same speed the bullet's coming, then when you hit, you'll hit at -- it'll be a 0. So the bullet will just stop and you'll just basically be able to -- you'll just be able to grab it."
* "I wouldn't take a bullet for anybody that could run at the speed of a bullet."
* [To Josiah] "You're not gonna be able to find someone to take a bullet for you."
* "OhhhhHHHH, IT'S TONYYYYY STARKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!"
* "Our nearest neighbor? The USA? No, the full moon."
* [On the topic of a Pink Floyd moon war] "You'd have to have -- give each side half of the light side of the moon and half the dark side so you could have all the spies on the dark side of the moon, at least at the start."
* [On the topic of a Pink Floyd moon war] "What if Pink Floyd were actually onto something and, like, the -- when, like, the guns they use on -- yeah, exac-- well, they're gonna be using guns and that's what the bullets will look like; it'll look like the Pink Floyd cover. And they're gonna have bombs and the bombs are gonna look like posters. Posters of butt-naked women with Pink Floyd album covers painted on their backs."
* [On the topic of *Airplane*] "You couldn't make *that* movie today!"
* "Oh! *Star Wars*!! This is our best episode, I think. *Star Wars*, Tom Holland, Tony Stark, Will Smith."
* [On the topic of doing a vore episode in future] "We should go to that place -- There's a place where you can crawl into a giant uh inflatable whale! Uh and they pour, like, goo and juice in it so that you can crawl in it and it's supposed to simulate being eaten by a whale. We could do something like that!"
* "Didn't we do World Wide Ark already? Didn't we already do this? We've already done this before, man."
* [In response to Josiah saying globe is sacred because we're on one] "Yeah, you *are* on one."
* "Check out NoodleKidz.com! That's 'K-I-D-Z'; *do not* go to NoodleKids with just a 'S'!"
* "I keep an atlas inside of my purse. I have an entire atlas in my purse just in case I need to know where uh Mongolia is."
* "This woman is frightening."
* [In response to a little girl being proud of a drawing she made] "Good job, it looks like dog shit."
* [In response to seeing a globe] "Bro, there's so much ocean! Why do they have so much oceans?"
* "Replogle Franklin. Replogle Franklin."
* "I want a gigantic globe."
* "Globe Balls Warning."
* [On the topic of his thoughts on Maintain Globe] "I mean, what do you want me to say to this?"
* [In response to Josiah's question about what we can apply from what we've learned about maps vs globes to the normal globe] "No clue! I have no idea. I have no idea what this was supposed to be. You showed me the difference between maps and globes."
* [On the topic of the point of Maintain Globe] "OK so your point is that we should be -- we should take care of the Earth."

## Trivia

* In the episode introduction, Josiah referred to this episode being named "Maintain Your Globe", when the episode title refers to it as "Episode 85: Maintain Globe" and the in-episode title refers to it as "Maintain Globe".
* This is the second episode to involve a differently sized Earth, after the Earth was mega-sized in Episode 48: World Wide Weed so it could be hotboxed with weed in the back a giant van in space.