Klein/Synopsis

#### Episode 1

On November 6, 2022, Klein got his hands on a NerveGear and a copy of Sword Art Online, a VRMMO set in a multifloored castle in the sky called Aincrad. He logged into the SAO, while waiting on a pizza, and created a joke avatar named "BallsDeep69" to mess around with until he gets used to the game, planning to make his real avatar later.

The first thing Balls tried was fight a Frenzy Boar, one of the game's starter enemies, in the West Field outside of the Floor 1 Town of Beginnings. However, the pig overwhelms him, and he is knocked to the ground. It was at this point Balls met a player named Kirito, who picks on Balls for being unable to defeat a pig. Balls tries to retort this by claiming the pig is impossibly strong, calling it "the pig from hell", but Kirito proves this wrong by picking up a pebble and throwing it at the pig, instantly defeating it. Kirito then taunts Balls by saying he must have come across "the most powerful weapon in the game", the "Mithril Pebble of Pig-Smiting", before proceeding to go on long improvised ramble about the pebble's alleged history, much to Balls' annoyance.

Hours later, as the sun begins to set, Kirito finally finishes his epic tale about the pebble. Having watched Kirito waste his time talking about a rock, Balls assumes that Kirito gets beat up a lot in real life. Kirito responds to this by telling him to shut up, stating that, "Here I have power!" Clearly touching a nerve, Balls says he better get going, as he has a pizza coming and he's planning to meet up with some friends later. Balls thanks Kirito for the tutorials on pig-slaying and rocks, and it is at this point that Kirito notices his unusual username. Balls explains the reasoning behind it, which Kirito understands.

After an awkward silence between the two, Balls proceeds to log out to go eat his pizza, only to discover that he cannot find the log out button. Kirito doesn't believe him at first but finds that the log out button is missing from his menu too. Suddenly a string of maniacal laughter appears in Balls' menu, which he proceeds to read out in full, much to Kirito's annoyance. Balls then attempts to pull off his NerveGear, but Kirito tells him that's not how it works, as the NerveGear disables a player's motor functions to prevent them moving around while they play. Kirito reminds Balls of the videos of the beta testers before the feature was added, one of which had a beta tester viciously beating his roommate to death, believing he was a Troll. Kirito states that this, and other incidents, resulted in many lawsuits.

Suddenly, Kirito and Balls are teleported to the town square of the Town of Beginnings, along with all the other players. A red hexagonal warning sign then appears in the sky, followed by more hexagons surrounding it, until they cover the entire sky. Blood starts pouring out from between the hexagons, which coalesces until it forms a man in a hooded red cloak. The man introduces himself as Kayaba Akihiko, the head programmer of the game, and welcomes the players to SAO. The players then start talking amongst themselves while Kayaba struggles to get their attention. He then tries to mute their chat function, but accidentally mutes himself instead. After he realizes what happened and finally unmutes himself, Kayaba asks how many players have seen Tron. However, none of the players respond, which forces Kayaba to improvise another explanation for their situation.

Kayaba announces that, much like World of Warcraft, none of the players have any choice but to play the game anymore, except Kayaba is the one who is holding them captive, not their need to "escape [their] empty f\*\*king lives". He tells the players that there is no longer any way to log out of the game, and if someone tries to log them out by removing their NerveGears in real life, something similar to the movie Scanners will happen, which, again, no one has seen. Kayaba then shows the players a clip from Scanners, in which someone's head explodes, which makes them understand. Kayaba tells the players that the only way for them to leave the game, and keep the NerveGear from "going all Gallagher on [their] grey matter", is to clear every Floor of Castle Aincrad and beat SAO.

Kayaba then comments on the amount of men playing as girls and tells the players that he has a surprise for them. All the players find a Hand Mirror in their inventory, which triggers a blinding light that converts all the players' avatars into their true appearances. Kirito and Balls comment on their real appearances, with Balls stating how young Kirito really is and Kirito stating Balls is less hairy. Balls tries to tell Kirito that his name is Klein, but Kirito doesn't believe him.

Kayaba then informs them that if they die in the game they die for real, but the crowd doesn't understand this. Kayaba attempts to explain it two more times but to no avail. Annoyed, Kayaba shows the head explosion clip from Scanners again, which causes the players to finally understand. Kayaba then proceeds to leave the players to themselves, but not before revealing that he also disabled the profanity filter. Kayaba tells the players to have fun as his body turns into smoke and disappears. After hearing everything that was said, the players are stunned to silence until one player simply states that "WE'RE FUCKED!!!"

Later, in an alleyway, Kirito asks Balls to help him take down a Mini-Boss on the way to the next town, as he needs some "cannon fodder". Shocked by Kirito's blunt request, Balls says that he's going to stay with his friends, stating that they are all as skilled as he is, so they'll have a better chance of surviving together. Kirito equivalates this to the old idiom of monkeys and typewriters, much to Balls' annoyance. Balls then states that Kirito may be the most unbearable asshole he's ever met, but he is really good at the game, so he asks Kirito to join his Guild. However, Kirito runs away mid-conversation. Balls is insulted by this, believing Kirito left because he thought he was too good to join his Guild.

#### Post-Episode 1

Balls did indeed form a Guild with his friends, eventually recruiting two more members, and he became a legendary warrior throughout the game and a key member of the assault team. However, many of the player didn't realize that his username was a mistake, including the newer members of his Guild. As a result, Balls corrected people about his name so many times that the newer members thought that "My name is Klein" was his way of saying hello to people. They then proceeded to adopt this "greeting" themselves, something his friends seemed to join in on.

#### Episode 3

On December 24, 2023, Balls is on Floor 35, along with his Guild, where he heard that Santa Claus was going to appear and drop a rare item. Hearing a rumor that the item might be able to resurrect players, Balls leads his Guild into the Lost Forest to find it, only to reunite with Kirito. When Kirito calls Balls by his username, Balls and the rest of his Guild simultaneously say their usual "greeting", much to Kirito's confusion. After explaining his Guild's confusion, Balls asks what Kirito is doing in the forest, to which Kirito explains he's looking for the item to help heal a weird pain in his chest. Concerned, Balls asks what caused the pain and Kirito says he's had it ever since he watched all his Guild mates die, but denies this as the cause, since he didn't take any damage during the event. Hearing this, Balls looks dumfounded over how ignorant Kirito is.

Before Balls can explain, he and Kirito are surrounded by the Mafia. Having tracked down Kirito, one of the mobsters explains that, since Kirito is the sole survivor of the "Midnight Black Cats", the debt falls on him, sinisterly telling him that, "The Don sends his regards." In the standoff, after voicing his confusion over the situation, Balls explains to Kirito that he isn't injured, he's sad that all his friends died, something Kirito never even considered. Balls tells Kirito about the rumors he's heard about the item and offers to hold off the Mafia. Touched by this act of chivalry, Kirito thanks Balls, calling him by his preferred name, Klein, before running off. Klein is deeply moved by this, but the moment is almost ruined when one of his Guild mates asks who "Klein" is.

Sometime later, after Klein has defeated the Mafia, Kirito returns to Klein with a look of emotional vacancy on his face. Klein asks if Kirito didn't get the item, but Kirito reveals that he did, only to find that it's actually a Charisma Hat. Although Kirito was unsuccessful, he thanks Klein for showing him that there's still a part of him that knows how to care about others. However, just as Klein starts getting his hopes up, Kirito says he's realized that forming connections with people only makes it hurt more when they inevitably die and announces that he has "killed" that part of him forever. He thanks Klein for "freeing [him]", going back to calling him Balls, and proceeds to leave. Balls tries to stop Kirito, heartbroken that, after everything Kirito has gone through, he still rejects humanity, and bursts into tears. He then lets Kirito go and collapses to his knees as the snow falls around them.

#### Episode 5

On March 6, 2024, the assault team are in the Floor 56 village of Pani, discussing the raid of Sheeptar the Sheep King, which Balls says would be a really stupid Boss if it hadn't already killed seven of the players. Asuna, the Vice-Commander of the Knights of the Blood Oath, comes up with a plan to get close enough to aggro the Boss and have their archers lead him to the nearest village, where he'll be too distracted killing the NPCs to notice their attack. Kirito disagrees with this plan, however, since some of his best friends have been NPCs, a fact that did not surprise Asuna. Before he can argue any further, Kirito hears the voice of Gary, the NPC that caused the deaths of his previous Guild. Seeking vengeance, Kirito brutally murders Gary as the other players watch in horror, except for Asuna. This results in the assault team changing the plan.

#### Post-Episode 5

At some point, Balls became friends with a player named Tiffany, and the two of them went on a quest on Floor 17, where they battled Chimeras so that Tiffany could get an an axe.

Balls was also present when Kirito was making an advert for a company called the "Kirito is Always Right Foundation", seemingly being the one that did the recording. But the session was cut short by Asuna, who was furious that Kirito was wasting time filming the ad when there was a raid in 10 minutes, stating that she was "not gonna have another goddamn Sheeptar incident!". She then knocked Kirito out and dragged him to the raid, leaving Balls alone, realizing that Kirito wasn't coming back.

#### Episode 8

On October 18, 2024, Balls and his Guild attempted to clear the Floor 74 Dungeon, where he sees Kirito and Asuna again taking a lunch break from raiding the Dungeon. He notices that they seem quite distraught and asks if he's interrupting something, startling Kirito and Asuna. Once he realizes it's just Balls, Kirito apologizes for their outbursts, explaining that they just got "some pretty bad medical news". Balls then jokingly asks if all of Kirito's friends have died again, which he quickly apologizes for. Seeing Kirito and Asuna together, Balls asks why the two of them are hanging out, joking asking if Kirito's planning to show Asuna his "Sword Skills", which Asuna is also very interested to hear the answer to.

Luckily, before Kirito can answer such an embarrassing question, a group of soldiers from the Aincrad Liberation Front arrive. The General tells his severely exhausted platoon to relax before introducing himself as Corvatz, a man who pretends to be a Spaniard, due to him picking up an item that punctuates his words with Spanish guitar. Corvatz states that keeps the accent up to boost morale among his men but seems unaware that it does the exact opposite. Corvatz asks if the road ahead has been cleared before proclaiming that he intends to defeat the Boss of the Floor, thus clearing it "FOR THE PEOPLE". Balls is shocked by this declaration, pointing out that Corvatz's men won't be able to fight the Boss, as they can barely stand. Corvatz dismisses him, however, saying that he's going to use his brilliant Boss clearing strategy, which has never failed to defeat a foe. Skeptical, Asuna asks how many Bosses Corvatz has defeated with it, to which Corvatz reveals that he himself hasn't defeated any yet.

Slightly concerned by this, Kirito suggests that Corvatz and his men should go home and take a nap, while someone else defeats the Boss. However, Corvatz says they're too close to back down now, and his men don't know the meaning of surrender, but one of them says they're willing to learn. Corvatz ignores his solder's pleas, however, and tells his men to stand, leading them towards the Boss Room while proclaiming that they will fight for glory. When one of his soldiers points out how contradictory this is to Corvatz's last claim, Corvatz disses him by saying, "We can fight for too things". As they watch Corvatz and his men leave, Balls begins worrying for their safety. Kirito initially refuses to help them, saying that whatever happens won't be their fault, but this comment accidentally triggers himself and he runs after them anyway. Asuna then runs after him, while Balls complains about his heavy armor slowing him down.

Balls eventually catches up just in time to see Corvatz being killed by the Boss, a giant Goat Demon called the Gleam Eyes, whose last words are, "Do not fear, my friends. Corvatz... can never... di...". Kirito is shocked by Corvatz death and tries to cope with his usual snarky persona, prompting Balls to scold him. Kirito then has a mental breakdown, trying to deny that he cares about the ALF's fate, but as soon as the Gleam Eyes is about to take another victim, Kirito slashes it across the back with fury.

As Kirito distracts the Boss, Balls and his Guild gets the remaining ALF members out of the Boss Room to safety. During the fight, Kirito suddenly seems to have an epiphany, and with a mixture of fury and determination, Kirito asks Balls and Asuna to buy him some time while he prepares something. The two do as he says, although Asuna does most of the work, as Balls gets swatted to the side by the Gleam Eyes almost immediately. Kirito then charges back into the battle, summoning another sword along with his Elucidator, revealing his ability to Dual-Wield, much to everyone else's amazement. Kirito then has a psychotic breakdown and activates a 21-hit combo called Starburst Stream, during which he rants about his hatred for people, taking his anger out on the Gleam Eyes for making him care about them. After trading blows with the Boss, Kirito manages to defeat the Gleam Eyes, but notices that he only has one HP left. He then falls unconscious, telling the ALF they can all go die now for all he cares.

Sometime later, Kirito regains consciousness to see Asuna crying over him. She then hugs him while berating him for making her worry, something that makes Kirito flustered. Balls then takes this moment to ask Kirito to explain himself. Initially, Kirito thinks he's referring to his embarrassing rant, but Balls elaborates by asking how Kirito managed to learn the Dual-Wield Skill, since it's not even in the directory. Kirito admits he has no idea how he got the Skill, as it just appeared in his menu one day. Kirito then speculates that he acquired the Skill after facing someone who could Dual-Wield axes, but quickly dismisses the idea, as it's probably unrelated. Initially, Balls laments that Kirito now has something else to boost his ego, but quickly admits that Kirito will put the Skill to good use.

Balls then decides to leave after this victory, saying he's going to take a nap and find whatever passes for a beer on the new Floor. But before he departs, he tells Kirito not to give up on humanity just yet, having noticed Kirito that fought for the others. Kirito agrees to "take it under advisement", calling Balls by his preferred name, Klein, which makes him cry tears of joy before leaving.

#### Episode 11

On November 7, 2024, Klein and his Guild are summoned to Floor 75 to participate in the raid against the Floor Boss. After they arrive at the Boss Room door, along with the rest of the assault team, Heathcliff, the Commander of the KOB, attempts to deliver an encouraging speech to motivate the raiders, but his metaphors are sadly misunderstood by the less than smart players. Heathcliff then compares the situation to herding cats, prompting a player to ask if Fluffles, the former Mafia leader, was at the raid, which Heathcliff denies. He then explains that, after rounds of torture, gladiatorial combat, and Pictionary, oddly enough, he managed to negotiate a truce with the King of Ashes, the leader of a group of bandits that were blocking progress in the game. However, as he's saying this, the King himself is suddenly heard leading his army down the corridor, ordering them to kill the "intruders" for crossing him. Heathcliff is confused by this at first, but quickly realizes that Kirito did something that broke the truce. Kirito denies this, despite the fact the King sent him a message stating he would "FLAY YOUR FUCKING SOUL!!!" and the fact that the King is heard demanding Kirito's head. With the King's troops coming to kill them, Heathcliff decides that they're going to enter the Boss Room now. With the door opening, Klein and Tiffany psych themselves up, reminiscing about a quest the two of them went on together on Floor 17. Hearing this, Kirito asks why he doesn't remember the quest, to which Klein explains that they have lives outside of him, which Kirito doesn't believe.

With the door finally opened, Heathcliff leads the player into the Boss Room, but they become confused when the Boss is nowhere to be seen. After a few seconds of players believing the Boss was a metaphor, Klein notices a giant centipede made of bones hanging from the ceiling. Having finally been noticed, the Boss, known as the Skull Reaper, descends from the ceiling and kills two of the players in one hit. The players are shocked by this, and Tiffany asks himself why he put all his points into bartering. Heathcliff then tries to rally the players to fight, despite the fact that the players who died were the raiders' tanks, but is caught off guard when the Boss suddenly dies. Despite Heathcliff's confusion, the other players see this as a victory. However, they soon realize that the door to the next Floor is still closed, meaning they're trapped in the Boss Room. Kirito comments that this is typical of the game.

The players then fall into despair, with Tiffany pointing out that they can't even starve to death, which Klein agrees would've been a mercy, as now they'll just have to wait until they die in the real world. Heathcliff then tries to lighten the mood, stating that, even though they're going to die, at least they're going to die playing an awesome game. This comment causes the players to rant about the many faults of the game, with a player named Schmitt pointing out that their Teleport Crystals, one of their only lifelines, don't work half the time. Klein adds to this by pointing out that one of KOB tried using a Teleport Crystal to escape the room but ended up getting twisted into a Cronenbergian nightmare. Heathcliff gradually gets more and more annoyed by this, claiming that, while it has some "minor bugs", the game itself is groundbreaking technology, asking where the players' sense of wonder is. Kirito agrees with Heathcliff, saying that he loves the game despite its flaws. However, he also admits that the game is a mess, filled with terrible designs, stating that the only reason they all bought it was because it was the only launch title that made Tron a reality. This comment enrages Heathcliff the most, and he voices his frustration over how Kirito has suddenly seen Tron.

This comment causes Kirito to realize something, and he attacks Heathcliff, causing a protective wall to appear around him. Confused by this, Asuna asks Heathcliff what the wall is. Heathcliff tries to play it off as a lucky glitch, asking the players to subdue Kirito, but Asuna doesn't believe him, which Heathcliff accepts. Kirito gives Heathcliff the chance to come clean, but Heathcliff tells him to explain it, sarcastically stating that he doesn't want to ruin Kirito's "big moment". Asuna asks Kirito what they're talking about, to which Kirito explains that Heathcliff has been hiding a dark secret. He's Kayaba Akihiko. However, the players don't know who that is, much to Kirito's annoyance. Kayaba then plays the Scanners clip he used on the first day of the death game, making them realize who he is. Relieved that he kept the clip tabbed, Kayaba asks Kirito what made him realize who he was, to which Kirito explains that Heathcliff was the only other person who referenced as many movies as Kirito himself. This makes Kayaba ecstatic, as it's the first time in years, possibly in his entire life, that anyone has understood him. Kayaba then tests Kirito's knowledge by rapid firing a series movie quotes, all of which Kirito gets correct, much to Kayaba's amazement and the shock of the other players.

Kayaba is then attacked by a member of the KOB, prompting him to paralyze all of the players except for Kirito, to prevent any similar acts of stupidity. Kayaba then rants about the players' stupidity, only for Kirito to start defending them, something Kayaba thought was uncharacteristic of him. While Kirito agrees that the players can be idiotic, using Schmitt as an example, much to his dismay, he points out that at least they were willing to put their lives on the line, which is better than what Kirito can say about Kayaba. He then proceeds to mock Kayaba until he asks Kirito what he wants, prompting Kirito to tell Kayaba that he would like a rematch to their previous fight. Irritated, Kayaba agrees to the fight, as stabbing Kirito in the chest sounds therapeutic, and asks for Kirito's terms. Kirito tells Kayaba that it'll be a fight to the death, one where Kayaba won't use any of his GM abilities, and if Kirito wins, Kayaba will end the death game and let everyone go free. Hearing this, Kayaba is a little shocked that Kirito wants to end things 25 Floors early, but Kirito provokes him by asking, "What's wrong, McFly? Chicken?". Delighted by Kirito quoting Back to the Future II, Kayaba agrees to the fight, believing that he'll defeat Kirito easily.

Asuna then questions why Kirito wants to leave SAO, as he loves being in the game, and asks why he would want to get out faster. Kirito admits that he does love it in the game, as he can be the person he's always wanted to be in it. However, he then confesses that, despite his best efforts, he's decided to not give up on humanity. This shocks Klein, as Kirito actually took his advice, and is overjoyed that he made a difference. Kirito then admits that, while the virtual world means more to him than the real one ever did, he feels like the longer that he stays there the greater the risk that he'll lose the people he loves. This makes Klein freak out even more, prompting Kirito to ask him not to ruin the moment, which Klein agrees to try. Kirito then voices his worry that Asuna will mock him for showing these emotions, but she supports him for making such a huge step. She then tries to get everyone to give Kirito a big round of applause, forgetting that she's paralyzed. Unable to move, Asuna explains that she's not being sarcastic, but Kirito understands, and appreciates the thought. To make up for this, Klein starts clapping with his teeth, which Kirito appreciates as well, despite being weirded out by it.

Asuna then tells Kirito to go fight Kayaba, which he does, although he puts her down in a potion that prevents her from seeing the fight in the process. Kirito then draws his swords but stops to talk to his friends. He asks Tiffany to let Lizbeth know he didn't name something "the Piece of Shit" if he doesn't make it. However, Tiffany doesn't understand this request, due to how vaguely Kirito worded it. Kirito then apologizes to Klein for not joining his Guild, stating that he's always regretted it, and admits it probably would have been fun. This causes Klein to devolve into a gibbering mess. Finally, Kirito turns to Kayaba and adds on more condition to their fight, asking him to make it so Asuna can't kill herself if he dies. Asuna's insulted by the insinuation that she'd kill herself over Kirito and tells him to suck a dick. However, Kirito corrects her, stating that's her job now. Though amused by his joke, Kirito realizes he's going to pay for it later.

Kirito then fights Kayaba, but his sword breaks during the battle, leaving him open to attack. However, just as Kayaba delivers the finishing, Asuna jumps in the way and seemingly dies. Kirito then tries to retaliate with Asuna's rapier, but his attacks are too weak and easily avoidable. Kayaba then disarms Kirito and stabs him in the chest. However, Kirito refuses to just die, and manages to stab Kayaba with Asuna's rapier, technically defeating him. The two players then die, prompting Kayaba to purge the game from the server and log the players out. Klein was most likely freed from SAO, along with all of the other players.

## References

1. ↑ Episode 1
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 Episode 3
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 Episode 5
4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 Episode 8
5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 5.2 Episode 11
6. ↑ KARF advert