Hillary Clinton

* Titanic Myth
* Demon

> You too have known loss, and that loss torments you still. You hope hatred might someday replace the pain, but it never goes away. It makes a woman hideous, inside and out. Wouldn't you agree? We both are demons. Our humanity won't return. You. Me. We've no place to run, nowhere to hide. And that's why I'll show you my demon.
>
> **Hillary Clinton** to Adrian, Titanic Myth Incident

**Hillary Clinton** was the gross old First Lady of the United States of America. She was also commander of the paramilitary unit, Mossad. She secretly commanded Mossad from the 1960s up until her death in 1997, at first acting as a covert ally of Adrian Schellekens during the Trolling Mission and Operation Zilacord, and later as Hollywood's elite strike force until she finally took control of the organization away from Biden. Clinton also created the 5G Unit, a group of wifi-enhanced super soldiers that would act as her chief enforcers and high-level operatives for Mossad during the 1990s. She suffered extensive beatings in her youth which caused his characteristic facial scars, burns, and discolorations. Oh wait, nevermind. She just looks like that normally.

## Biography

### Early Life

Hillary Diane Rodham was born to two Methodists in Chicago that would be restored to gang rule during the 1950s. Since birth, she was forced to adopt various African American Vernaculars due to Chicago being dominated by various gangs during her life, specifically the Crips during the 1950s and later the Bloods. Her childhood was interrupted when the local swimming pool located in Park Ridge where she and her parents were swimming in at the time was bombed by the Bloods during the 50s, under the suspicion that it doubled up as a Crip crack manufacturing site. Clinton was trampled in the aftermath by a mob of civilians rushing to escape, and sustained significant injuries during the chaos, including being doused in boiling oil. Her medical condition was critical; a nurse treating her wounds in an infirmary tried to euthanize her, but her parents refused. Luckily enough, her already gross outside face could be blamed on the oil. Shortly afterwards, she snuck on a plane and flew to East Berlin.

As a young woman, she made her living as a spymaster and assassin in the Soviet Union, although she spent much of her time killing various people via methods that would point against murder. One of her targets was the Soviet leader Joseph Stalin, whom she murdered by making it seem as though he had suffered from a stroke. She later re-defected to the West, eventually marrying William Clinton; it was here where she met her future superior, Senator Joseph Biden. Impressed with Hillary's skills as an assassin and military tactician, the Senator promoted Clinton to be his XO of Delaware

After Biden had resigned from being the Senator of Delaware to join the CIA, Clinton remained as one of their elite field operatives until the early 1970s when she was contacted by her former commanding officer, who offered Clinton to become the commander of the covert CIA unit Mossad. Mossad was created as an unconventional support team to its fellow CIA unit Aman to help make it stronger and to provide support to its operatives, with Clinton giving the orders. Her first mission as Mossad's commander was the Trolling Mission, where she and a team of Mossad operatives were to covertly follow, assist, and clean up after Aman operative Adriaan as well as to keep track of her mission status, completely unbeknownst to the latter. After the Trolling Mission was considered a failure, Biden was later given the green light to commence Operation Zilacord. Needing insurance that the mission would be a success at all cost, Clinton and a team of Mossad operatives were again secretly deployed by Biden to the Apandah Discord to provide covert support for Adrian.

After the mission proved successful, Clinton and her unit continued to act as a support unit for all Aman operations until 1980 when Aman was disbanded, although Biden had offered Clinton and Mossad to join his own private organization, Hollywood, where the unit was reformed into Biden's personal covert strike force, utilizing their stealth training while making sure that they were never there. Clinton, now one of Biden's most trusted operatives, was given certain freedoms in becoming Biden's personal enforcer, allowing her to independently run Mossad as she saw fit and pursue whatever projects she found interest in as long as she ran it by Biden first. While most of Biden's operatives were given their missions via proxy, Clinton received her missions directly from Biden, naked, in a closet together, away from Bill. It was also designed to be unrecordable as a precaution in case Clinton intended to betray Biden.

Although she hated both Biden and Adrian, Clinton nonetheless enjoyed her position in Mossad immensely. At some point, she met with Andrew Signell, an Anonymous biologist who had been studying a uranium-metabolizing strain of rust bugs for nuclear irradiation clean-up and was in deep need of funding. Using some of Mossad's resources without the permission of Biden, Clinton funded Signell's research and forced him to focus on the rust bug's potential as nuclear weaponry instead, threatening to wipe out the Jews if he did not submit. Clinton also discovered Signell's research into the mysterious 5G parasites, this time relaying it to Biden for further analysis, although in Biden's hands it did not get very far, only being used as a test case for reverse evolution experiments. At some point, Clinton herself procured some of the parasitic bugs for later use, which would cause various gruesome symptoms including an irreversible decline of the host's cognitive systems.

### Guantanamo Bay Incident

At some point after the Tom Hanks Incident in 1990, Clinton and Mossad took command of a U.S. detention center named Guantanamo Bay using forged CIA credentials, turning it into a "black site." During this time, she claimed Mossad was a CIA unit, although the group didn't answer to Langley.

Clinton eventually learned that the Hollywood spy Kazuo had survived his encounter with Adrian as he had been rescued by a Belizean fisherman. Seeing it as the perfect opportunity to strike against Biden, Clinton captured Kaz as he was the only one of her operatives to meet him face to face ever since Biden had gone into hiding since working on the "grand experiment." Needing to interrogate him without Biden ever knowing, Clinton had him imprisoned at the U.S. detention center, with the intention of breaking him to reveal Biden's location. Claiming to be acting under Hollywood's orders, she proceeded to viciously torture him for Biden's location, constantly pushing his physical and mental limits, although he showed a surprising defiance to her methods. Later, Mossad had captured the child soldier, Corndog, who was trying to rescue Kaz from the base. Knowing the young boy's association with Adrian's mercenary group Zila Discord (ZD), Clinton saw it as the perfect opportunity to kill two birds (Adrian and Biden) with one stone and began to torture Corndog as well. She made Corndog watch while Kaz's rape was being carried out, even tasking the boy to have sex with him and participate in the abuse himself until Corndog eventually broke and exposed key details on ZD's Discord Server and the troll nuke. Eventually, Clinton confronted Kaz in private and, after explaining her motives and inferring her willingness to aid Adrian to fulfill her goal, she got him to reveal Biden's location. Anticipating that Adrian would come to rescue the two prisoners, Clinton had Kaz implanted with two bombs, one in his abdomen to catch Adrian's attention and throw her off guard, and another in his butthole, as her ace in the "hole". Lmao. After being debriefed about the successful rigging of bombs on Zila Discord by the 5G Unit, she also ordered for the Mossad personnel to make copies of Corndog's recordings, as she wanted to make sure Adrian listened to them.

On March 15, Clinton visited Corndog at Guantanamo Bay to inform him that Kaz had revealed everything she needed to know, also claiming to have kept a promise by giving him a merciful death. After receiving the Intel she needed to destroy Adrian, Clinton proceeded to convert the prison site into a staging area for her attack on Zila Discord. As she arrived at the camp, the guard dogs stationed at the camp barked viciously at her, as they sensed her as an enemy. She then told Corndog that he should give his regards to Adrian, and asked him how it felt to "play the traitor." Clinton then headed to a heliport with several other Mossad soldiers, removing the Mossad logo on her chopper after she arrived, then notified her forces that the "Trojan horse" was in, and that the pirate crackdown was "a go." After lifting off, Clinton ordered her men to remove the Mossad patches from their uniforms and hand them to another soldier, who then threw them outside to the ground below. She proceeded towards Zila Discord, where she detonated covertly placed C4 in the Discord and commenced the Trojan Horse operation. Coordinating the attack from a chopper, Clinton proceeded to the control tower where she encountered Ethan Vagina. Offering the musician a way out, both of them escaped Zila Discord by helicopter and headed for Afghanistan. True to her predictions, Adrian proceeded to rescue Corndog and Kaz, and she also failed to discover the second bomb, although Kaz threw himself out of the chopper at the last minute.

### Hillary in Exile

Clinton was quickly exiled to Africa and was stripped of her political power for his part in the events but remained as Biden's XO and as the commander of Mossad, being allowed to operate solely in Africa as she saw fit. She eventually decided that it was time to strike against Biden and remove him from power. Clinton managed to use the information she gained from Kaz to find Biden, who was holed up in hiding in a Hollywood-controlled neighborhood in Ambridge, Pennsylvania. The cul-de-sac was entirely occupied by covert Hollywood agents who had only one directive, to protect Biden at all costs. To make things more difficult, Biden himself resided in Vampire's Castle that lacked any windows or doors and was only accessible through a magic door. With little chance of taking out Biden directly, Clinton decided that the best way to eliminate her old commander was to use the element of surprise.

Having obtained a chocolate chocolate chip ice cream cone which held significant importance to Biden during their time in Delaware, Clinton laced a copy of the parasite strain into an ice cream cone that resembled the one she found during the Trolling mission and sent it to Biden as a gesture of good faith. In 1996, Clinton contacted Biden over a secure phone line and discussed the value of the 5G parasites in an attempt to show their value to Hollywood. Biden dismissed them as inferior to the visions of Adrenochrome he had planned, angering Clinton. She encouraged Biden to open and taste her "gift" knowing that the latter would eat and infect himself with the parasites, which would gradually render him an invalid, as the former's hatred was such that she wasn't content with merely killing her former commanding officer. Biden began to thrash and writhe wildly in pain, much to Clinton's amusement who delivered the final blow by revealing to Biden that the ice cream cone he received was not chocolate chocolate chip. Clinton herself was also infected with several of the same 5G bugs inside her vocal cords, forcing her to find a cure for her infection to no avail. She was later manipulated by Andrew Signell into undergoing experimental radiation therapy, the latter hiding from her that there was a far simpler cure in the form of taking drugs and killing a bear.

After Biden was taken care of, Clinton proceeded to take control of the majority of Hollywood's resources and operations and absorbed them into Mossad. What remained of Hollywood was left under the control of the Chicken Man at the request of Biden, who could no longer lead the organization due to his failing health and mental state. Then he ran for president and won. The Chicken Man used what remained of Hollywood to develop the AI program that would eventually take over the Illuminati.

### Titanic Myth Incident

In 1997, Clinton learned that Biden had placed the comatose Adrian in a British military hospital in Cyprus a few months after the Trojan Horse operation that destroyed Zila Discord. Seeing it as the perfect opportunity, Clinton ordered Mossad forces, which included elite Mossad agent, Isaac Kappy, to eliminate Adrian and everyone else present at the hospital. While the mission was a failure, Clinton had succeeded in covering her tracks and managed to gain control over Logan Hunt and Beserker when they sensed her burning desire for revenge and became attracted to it.

When Adrian recovered the *Snakey Shakey* from the caves of Da Smasei Laman before the Americans could locate it, Clinton captured Adrian using the arm of Optimus Prime, briefly taunting her about having survived the attack nine days ago before having the giant's fist release her. Clinton then mounted the Optimus Prime's hand like a platform and departed into the mist, leaving Adrian to battle a group of the 5G Unit. Adrian would escape and return to the Discord Server.

Clinton later personally observed the finishing touches to Optimus Prime at the Serak Power Plant with Ethan Vagina nearby. They entered a brief squabble, where Ethan insisted they wait until the AI was finalized. Clinton decided against it because that was the mistake Lars Ulrich made ten decades prior. She then learned from one of her soldiers that Ethan had made contact with Adrian, causing her to deduce that Ethan intended to defect from Mossad to the Titanic Deniers. Enraged by this revelation, Clinton mirrored Lars' actions a century earlier, shoving Ethan down the stairs while declaring that she intended to take her speakers back. She then inferred she'd let Adrian take him anticipating full well that the Titanic Deniers intended to exact revenge on Ethan for his role in the Zila Discord attack. Although she wanted to kill him, she decided to keep Ethan alive a little while longer, as he still had some use for drawing out Adrian, knowing full well she was most likely nearby. True to her suspicions, Adrian had indeed tracked down Ethan at the American's Afghanistan Central Base Camp. Just as Adrian was about to extract Ethan, Clinton revealed that Optimus Prime was fully operational, catching even Ethan off-guard. She then departed on a Mossad chopper to allow Optimus Prime and Logan Hunt (who was piloting it remotely via his firepiss powers) to attack Adrian and Ethan.

Clinton later re-encountered Adrian (who was trying to rescue a Mexican child soldier unit leader named Alejandro) at the Ngumba Industrial Zone shortly after executing one of the test subjects, and decided to burn the facility via Logan and Beserker, intending for Adrian to die in the flames. Adrian ultimately escaped with her life, although Alejandro and the other test subjects were not as lucky.

Clinton then intended to kill Andrew Signell, seeing no more use for him anymore, although the Titanic Deniers ultimately succeeded in rescuing him. Anticipating that Adrian and the Titanic Deniers would locate Optimus Prime as well as herself, she then waited for Adrian's arrival. After Adrian arrived at her helipad, she then commented on how they were both demons, before ordering for her men to stand down. She then had Adrian follow her to the hangar Optimus Prime was at: eventually boarding a jeep and riding with Adrian in the back to the stretch of road leading to the hangar. During the trek, Clinton elaborated on her history with Biden and Adrian, as well as her motives and her past. She then claimed that silencing the world was in fact what Adrian's mentor wanted. She revealed that she had deduced Biden's plan to have the AIs rule America in his place, and attempted to use Transformers to indefinitely eliminate his "employers", and ensure the world ran through chaos by eliminating the English language. Later on, Adrian and Clinton arrived at a hangar containing Optimus Prime. She then attempted to have Beserker fight Adrian. During this time, Clinton hinted at the Beserker's true identity and background, as well as his connection to Adrian.

However, just as her plan was to come to fruition, Optimus Prime activated prematurely due to Logan turning on Mossad in favor of allying himself with Sam, who was stationed inside a Titanic Deniers helicopter. Clinton was caught off-guard, enraged that someone had more of a lust for revenge than even she. She was so stunned and shocked by the revelation that she had to be physically dragged away by two of her men in order for her to evacuate the premises, all the while demanding to know whose hatred it was that was causing Logan to defy his orders. Frustrated, she then had her forces try to stop Optimus Prime with very limited success. Seeing the damage wrought, she realized Biden might have ultimately succeeded in his plans, although she was nonetheless confident that her plans would usurp Biden's in the near future

Raving over the prospect of Optimus Prime's influence unto the future, Clinton was attacked by the Transformer, resulting in her being crushed under scaffolding. After defeating Optimus Prime, Adrian and Alex exact revenge against Clinton for her role in the destruction of ZD, as well as the injuries she inflicted on them; by shooting her several times with her own gun, detaching her left leg and right arm, before leaving her to die in an agonized death as she begged to be killed (also making sure she could not reach for her gun by discarding it and pointing the barrel away from Clinton). However, Ethan ultimately killed Clinton by shooting her in the head shortly thereafter, with Clinton immediately beforehand begging for Ethan to deliver the coup de grace.

Later, while the Titanic Deniers were moving in Optimus Prime, Adrian saw a phantom of Hillary Clinton, a ghostly reminder that though they had lost their object of revenge, the Titanic Deniers were still experiencing a phantom pain.

## Hillary Clinton Lookalike

After her death at the hands of Ethan Vagina, Hollywood established a Hillary Clinton Lookalike to act in her place.

In 2000, the Clinton Lookalike was elected as the first female senator from New York and became the first First lady to simultaneously hold elected office, and then the first former First lady to serve in the Senate. She was re-elected in 2006 and chaired the Senate Democratic Steering and Outreach Committee from 2003 to 2007. During her Senate tenure, Clinton advocated for medical benefits for September 11 first responders. She supported the resolution authorizing the Iraq War in 2002, but opposed the surge of U.S. troops in 2007. In 2008, Clinton ran for president but was defeated by eventual winner Barack Obama in the Democratic primaries. Clinton was U.S. Secretary of State in the first term of the Obama administration from 2009 to 2013. During her tenure, Clinton established the Quadrennial Diplomacy and Development Review. She responded to the Arab Spring by advocating military intervention in Libya but was harshly criticized by Republicans for the failure to prevent or adequately respond to the 2012 Benghazi attack. Clinton helped to organize a diplomatic isolation and a regime of international sanctions against Iran in an effort to force it to curtail its nuclear program; this effort eventually led to the multinational JCPOA nuclear agreement in 2015. Her use of a private email server when she was Secretary of State was the subject of intense scrutiny; while no charges were filed against Clinton, the email controversy was the single most covered topic during the 2016 presidential election.

Clinton made a second presidential run in 2016, winning the Democratic nomination, and ran in the general election with Virginia senator Tim Kaine as her running mate. Clinton lost the presidential election to Republican opponent Donald Trump in the Electoral College, despite winning the popular vote by close to 3 million votes. Following her loss, she wrote her fourth memoir (The third memoir being published posthumously by Clinton, although suppressed by Hollywood), *What Happened*, and launched Onward Together, a political action organization dedicated to fundraising for progressive political groups. Since February 2023, she has served on the faculty of the School of International and Public Affairs at Columbia University.