Episode 12

## Summary

Jen sits in bed to talk to you about reading the bio of a Hollywood icon, old women dying while she voted, glamorous old women, The Copacabana and reads some emails from listeners who love to stay home at night and read about true crime.

## Notes

> 0:14 - 1:53 Jen sings, makes guitar noises, etc. She can't figure out what era The Stooges were in. She says to email her.
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> 1:53 - 3:07 Jen addresses her crankiness on the last episode. She says this week she has PMS. She says her listenership has dropped in half over the last two weeks.
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> 3:07 - 7:41 Jen tells a story about buying an iPhone and the salesman trying to push her into buying a lifecase. She is prone to dropping her phone in water; bathtub, ocean. She pretends to have a surfing talk show. Jen tells a story about her string bikini coming undone while running on the beach. She pretends to have a show about how women can't do it all.
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> 7:41 - 14:44 Jen says she does the podcast for herself because it amuses her. She addresses a tangent she went on in the last episode about I Love Lucy and why it doesn't hold up for her and makes her depressed. She tells a story about voting in a nursing home and being inside lined up outside people's rooms. She says it smelled like organs rotting and every room was playing I Love Lucy. She got a glimpse of what it would be like to die alone.
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> 14:44 - 14:49 Jen's landline rings. She complains about people calling her and says she prefers texts.
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> 14:49 - 20:28 Jen thanks people for rating her podcast on itunes. She talks about a comment that was left where someone wants her to stop imitating a mansplainer on her podcast. She addresses what a "technically" guy is and introduces the Fuck The Haters Girl. She talks about her annoyance with people correcting her. She says she knows what her podcast is, and talks about it.
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> 20:28 - 20:49 Jen listens to a voicemail.
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> 20:49 - 21:20 Jen complains about people leaving her voicemails and says she prefers email.
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> 21:20 - 36:04 Jen gets into the weeks topic: old Hollywood. She discusses the book "Ava Gardner: The Secret Conversations" and talks a bit about Marilyn Monroe. She says times seemed more glamorous in Hollywood before things like TMZ. She explains the difference between self-deprecation and self-hating. Jen says she gets better looking as she gets older but she's always been funny.
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> 36:04 - 38:20 Jen wonders what the difference between the old women in the nursing home dying alone and Ava Gardner dying is. She sings The Copacabana with nursing lyrics and dissects the song. Jen explains why alcohol makes you wake up in the middle of the night.
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> 38:20 - 41:44 Jen says if she was still married when she read the Ava Gardner book she would have been really depressed about the experiences she didn't have, but then says if all she's doing something for is for some stories, she probably wouldn't feel that good about it. Jen talks about different kinds of relationships. Jen imitates an old lady complaining about the Kardashians.
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> 41:44 - 51:50 Jen reads some listener emails about reading Helter Skelter, true crime stories, and third person running commentary at work. Jen says she hates true crime stories and gets angry that she accidentally read an email about pooping. She does some plugs and complains about people telling her to come to places to perform.
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## Quotes

"People *died* so I could have the right to vote. I'm voting."

"Listen, I'm *talking* to myself, people. It is not brain surgery, it is not scripted, it is not normal. I get that."

"I hope nothing I do inspires people to murder."

"I hate being scared, I'm scared of everything."