Episode 145: No Such Thing As E.T. Part Three

**No Such Thing As E.T. Part Three** is the 145th episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 41st episode of the third year, and the 52nd episode of 2016. It is also the final numbered episode of 2016. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, London.

## Description

> A Christmas compilation episode in which Dan, James, Anna and Andy take facts from the audiences of Fish's spin-off topical news show No Such Thing As The News.
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## Facts

* The word "soon" used to mean "right now", but people would misuse it and so it came to mean "in a bit".
* The number plate of the car in which Franz Ferdinand was shot was A111 118, which is the date that World War I ended - 11/11/18.
* Australian outlaws would put the horseshoes on their horses backwards, so that the tracks would appear to be going in the opposite direction.
* The US military blared AC/DC's music at General Noriega's compound in Panama for two days continuously, and he surrendered.
* Symptoms of asthma can be treated with a roller coaster ride.
* Viagra is an excellent cure for jet lag in hamsters.
* According to Steven Spielberg, E.T. is a plant lifeform whose job is a biologist.
* Sean Connery was once pulled over and fined for speeding by a British policeman called James Bond.
* Wolfsburg Football Club's longest-serving manager was called Wolfgang Wolf.
* The Swiss football team BSC Young Boys play at Wankdorf stadium.
* The flag that flies over Big Ben is the same size as Wimbledon centre court.
* Major league baseball umpires are required to wear black underwear in case they tear their trousers.
* When the world's largest rocking-chair was built, it was immediately welded to the ground because the sight of it rocking in the wind terrified the locals.
* Adam Ant used to walk Paul McCartney's dog because Adam's mother was McCartney's cleaner.
* The kakapo parrot is endangered, partly because they evolved out of being able to fly, but have forgotten that they can't fly.
* John le Carré's father once seduced a woman on a night train by claiming to be John le Carre.
* In 1996, two neighbours in Devon spent a year hooting at owls, unaware they were actually hooting at each-other.
* People in Churchill, Canada, leave their car doors unlocked in case neighbours need to make a quick escape from polar bears.
* "Oxy" is Greek for sharp, "moron" is Greek for dull. Oxymoron is an oxymoron.
* During the 1914 Christmas truce, the Germans put up a sign saying "Gott mit Uns" (God is with us). The British responded by putting up a sign saying "We've Got Mittens Too".
* In 2010, Fiji lost their Declaration of Independence and had to ask Britain for a photocopy.
* If too many pistachios are shipped in the same container, they will self-heat and spontaneously combust.
* The German International Development agency is called GiZ (pronounced "jizz").
* The German word for squirrel literally means "oak croissant".
* Kangaroos lick their arms to keep cool.

## Trivia

* This is the last numbered episode of 2016, it is followed only by Extra Bits.
	+ This is the 2016 Christmas Special of Fish.
* This is the third episode after Episode 75: No Such Thing As Diarrhoea Drive and Episode 94: No Such Thing As Sexy Mucus Pyjamas in which the facts come from the audience rather than the Elves.
* Dan claims that Yetis can put their feet on backwards to hide the direction they are walking in, and that the Yeti Park ranger claims they can turn invisible.
* Dan repeats the headline fact from Episode 16: No Such Thing As A Ghost in Poland.
* James repeats the fact about Norman Conquest from Episode 104: No Such Thing As A Herd of Koalas.
* Dan's dubious facts from Episode 22: No Such Thing As A Magic Camel Filter are finally debunked.