World War Mario

I'm sure that some of you are familiar with the YouTube user SuperMarioGlitchy4, or SMG4 for short. For those of you who don't, SMG4, also known by his real-life name Luke Lerdwichagul, is an Asian-Australian YouTuber who uploads Super Mario 64 machinimas. He first started in 2011, with a relatively small cast in his bloopers (himself, Mario, and several other YouTubers), but over the years has brought in more non-Mario characters, and has even gotten into arcs. At the time of writing this, the current arc (called The Anime Arc) is set to end with a grand finale next week, and the current video released ("World War Mario") is the penultimate episode.

However, I was one of the few people who saw the... Original version of the video, so to say. It was only up for an hour before being taken down and replaced with the version you've already seen, likely due to the content that the version contained.

The version starts off nearly identical to the current version. The coast of Anime Island is shown, but the date is different, being May 12th instead of June 6th. War boats approach the shores. Mario is an idiot like always, singing and having a fun time, while Fishy Boopkins carries a first aid kit and Tari nervously brings a telephone, likely to call for help if things get too bad. Swagmaster boasts that he's ready to kick anime ass, and Chris says that, in 30 seconds, they will clear the bunkers and get off the beach as fast as (and if) they can. The doors slowly open, and war breaks loose.

The Anime Cartel starts shooting immediately, killing most of the Anime Secret Service personnel, and Mario, Luigi, and SMG4 (Luke's self-insert) get off the boat and make their way to the shore. Mario, as in the current version, asks SMG4 how his Thursday was while running to the nearest barrier. Everything from Fishy Boopkins' "war never changes" line to Mario's "good firework show" line is cut out.

Everything from here is the same, except for Chris actually dying when he gets shot in the chest instead of simply being injured. Swagmaster's determination scene is shortened to him just taking out the two snipers who killed Chris. Soon enough, SMG4 and some of the other surviving people (Mario, Tari, Boopkins, Saiko, Luigi, and Chris) reach the entrance to the base, and Mario says he's about ready to kill some bitches.

The scene showing the inside of the base, though, is where things start to deviate slightly. Instead of Meggy (who had been kidnapped and dropped into the Ink Zuccer 2000, name self-explanatory) screaming pitch-shifted Loud Nigra, her screams actually sound life-like and shrill. Once Francis (the Big Bad of this arc) throws the machine into maximum overdrive, Meggy's screams get louder and more pained. Axol and Desti plead for Francis to stop, like in the released version, but he doesn't listen, remarking that "Meggy is a strong girl."

This bit onwards is the same as the released version (Francis hearing Mario taking out his goons and leaving, Saiko angrily asking where Meggy is, Francis mocking her, taking out a picture of Sephiroph, and jamming the Ink Weaver into it, bringing the swordsman to life, Axol managing to get the fake Mewtwo to shut off the machine). After this, though, things start deviating.

After Axol frees Desti and she says that "a little warning next time would be good," Meggy's limp body is shown. It twitches, but unlike in the released version, she doesn't come alive. Desti asks, "Uh... Meggy? You alright?" No reply. Axol asks, "Beanie fish girl?" Still no reply.

Then, like in the current version, the fighting between Mario and the others and Sephiroth is heard, and Axol and Desti, alarmed, look at the doorway. After a moment, though, Desti just... Loses it. Snaps. Rage boils in her eyes as she rushes off towards the doorway without waiting for Axol.

The fight is then shown, with one of the two soldiers standing in front of the camera asking Sephiroth, with a Smosh quote, if he knows that "killing is never the answer." That soldier is then killed by Sephiroth, followed by the other soldier. Mario attempts to attack Sephiroth, but is then simply grabbed by him. And then... Desti rushes in. Rage still boiling in her eyes, she grabs Mario, tossing him aside, then attempts to fight Sephiroth herself, but is just knocked out of the way by him. Saiko leaps in and prepares to hit him with her hammer, like in the current version, but Sephiroth just steps aside and she just lands face-first onto the ground.

After SMG4 tries and fails to insult Sephiroth over Twitter, a closeup shot of Francis is shown, and he asks "You bakas think you can defeat the one winged angel?" Desti then gets to her feet, trembling with rage, and walks slowly over to Francis. She grabs him by the neck and says "Yes, I do," then throws him onto the floor. After the others express their glee for seeing Desti okay, she then uses the opportunity to grab the Ink Weaver, then turns back towards Sephiroth, running towards him with the pen.

The two then duel off, like in the released version. Sword is against pen, with obligatory sword-clashing sound effects, while Luigi, Mario, SMG4, Fishy Boopkins, Saiko, and Tari all give chase to Francis, who quickly books the scene. Cut back to Desti and Sephiroth's duel, now in the room with the Ink Zuccer, where the latter knocks the former into the air. She lets go of the Ink Weaver, which she tries to catch, but it ends up back in Francis' hands, and the Octoling lands on the floor. Tari tells Saiko not to let him draw another character, and the Bichitaru leaps towards him, hammer extended.

Sephiroth teleports behind her, however, and states, via sound clip, that it's "nothing personal, kid," before knocking Saiko aside. She hits the machine and shakily gets to her feet after a moment, coughing. It's shown that she has a pretty bad gash in her neck, likely Sephiroth's doing. "Desti... \*cough\* Help..."

Desti, eyeing the gash in Saiko's neck, makes a face that is, for lack of a better word, totally consumed with rage and insanity, her eye twitching, and mumbles "That son of a bitch." She then yells, "TARI! DISTRACT HIM!"

Cringing at Desti's loudness, Tari nods, and reaches into her pocket, pulling out something. With her eyes closed, she throws it, hoping for the best. Like in the current version, it turns out to be a duck, which lands by Sephiroth's feet. This works as a good enough distraction, and Desti leaps in and knocks Francis out of the way while telling him via a Scorpion voice clip to "GET OVER HERE!" A sadistic smile was on her face as she held Sephiroth, her eye twitching. "BATTER UP!" She then throws him.

SMG4 and Mario kick him back and forth, before SMG4 kicks him into the air. Fishy Boopkins swallows a rock, and Luigi aims him like a rocket launcher before firing the rock, which launches into the air and hits Sephiroth. It knocks him into the wall, and he dissolves, presumably finished. Desti, meanwhile, heads over to Francis, grabbing him by the neck and, for the first and only time in the video with a real voice, says (punctuated by the camera getting closer to them with each word) "GET. OUT. OF. THIS. BASE." She then throws him hard enough to break a hole through the wall, and watches him go, her shoulders going slack as she calms down.

The characters celebrate while Tari heads over to Saiko with Boopkins' first aid kit, first applying gauze to her neck (which made her jolt slightly, because of how it felt), then bandaging it up and patting her head. Desti grins, saying "Heh, that was too easy." She then paused, frowning. "But... Can you all pause? I need to... have a moment." As the others quiet down, she approaches Meggy's limp body in the Ink Zuccer as the credits (the director, editor, producer, writer, assistant writer, assistant editors, and Fanart of the Week) appear and the same piano rendition of the Super Mario Land overworld theme from "Mario The Scam Artist" began playing.

She sits next to Saiko, staring at the inkling's body. "Meggy... I know we've been rivals all this time, but... I'm really gonna miss you." She then puts her hands on the Ink Zuccer, tears starting to well in her eyes. "Nobody could match your skill, though... So who could replace you?" The video then ended.

After watching, I immediately emailed Luke about the content of the video, namely the deaths in it, and here is his reply:

"[NAME REMOVED FOR SAFETY REASONS],

Well... You clearly weren't supposed to see that. At first I had planned on using that version, though, but I had no plans to make it go public. Kevin must had publicized it himself as a sort of prank. I'll take down the video shortly, and the correct version will go up shortly. (Meggy will remain alive in the correct version, by the way, but someone else will be sure to go.)

-Luke"