I'm Going To Raise From The Ashes/Confessionals

## Day 21

this worked out perfectly for me djdjdjdjdjd. i played HARD in couple of past days, so now moving forward i plan to chill a little bit and fade into the background. i donut need to be calling shots all the time, im here for the long term, not looking to be blindsided like miss hesh for overplaying. Hesh was a very gooood player and it was hard to pull off! this was my best and problably only shotvwnd now majority of ppl for this vote was made basically out of all the people i work with, and its safe to say that its made purely of strongest people in this game so i doubt it will be strong for too long.
moving forward i want to get really close to 1/2 people from the current minority. thats my biggest worry atm - not having a solid source of information from that side moving forward is not what im looking for. ill see within couple of next day what no i can do and who to work on from the 4 in minority. im just sooooo happy that this blindside happened cuz maybe now miss lex and miss james can start playing..
also i love maya x6 :((((

It turns out that my three Ulemiste people voted Hesh out without telling me. From my knowledge an alliance is supposed to work together and talk to each other. I really felt blindsided. Hesh claimed he had an idol and Nadine said he was playing both sides so I’m necessarily upset over the fact that he’s gone, I’m upset that they’d blindside me after all that talk of final 4 and uLemIstE sTroNg!!1! Especially cause I’ve always had my doubts about Andreas. Back at Ulemiste, he voted for me at the second tribal and I’ve never really 100% trusted him. But I’ve always had faith in the Blue 3 of me, Maria and Nadine, especially Nadine and I definitely feel betrayed. It sucks. I always say I won’t lie to anyone as long as they don’t lie to me, now Nadine has lied to me and idk how to feel. I feel like they’ve very directly placed me as 4 in the 4 person alliance. And it sucks cause I genuinely did want a me, Nadine and Maria f3. Now not only have they burned me, they also burned Lex and James. Letting all of us in on it would’ve been the better move. I talked to Maria and she said they changed it last minute and couldn’t tell me as she’d been awake for 30 something hours, I trust her the most from the Ulemiste’s. I’m gonna have to start thinking long term now. For the next vote, purely for numbers sake, I’m gonna have to probably stick with them to get Syzmon out, love him but a huge threat, and he apparently swayed them to vote Hesh out too. I hope he doesn’t have too much a force on Nadine and Andreas so that we can’t vote him out. But right now I’m feeling a little deflated. Tonight confirmed my suspicions and now I might have to start to think about other options for the end. Time will tell. Currently I’m trying to work with Nicholas because I trust him cause he told me about the Angel vote, and cause he’s a threat so he needs someone to work with. I don’t know how to feel or what to do right now, I just now I’m in a bad spot thanks to my supposed alliance.

## Day 23

We'll probably stick with Team Vincent (the group that voted Hesh) for 11, but at 10 the poets may have to flip. If the 7 of us are final 7, we encounter a situation where all 3 of them are immune. One of them wins immunity, Andreas has the Guatemala idol, and the other plays the Ulemiste idol. They're so sure Kaz doesn't have the Ulemiste idol I think one of them has it.
For now we'll get James out, then and 10 we need an Ulemiste gone. Which one? It doesn't really matter tbh we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

anywho... todays like the worst day for me to have a tribal. i have a headache and im quite busy ugh so i donut have a great feeling about the tribal. nicholas is on some crazy power dictator trip idek what hes trying to achieve dkdkdkd! i like him but he just cant chill for a hot minute. he really wants james to leave over Lex bc HE is closer to Lex. but the tea is that booting james is useless.. he holds no power whatsoever dkdfkfkf
i used my last braincell to work and now i want everyone else to believe that Lex going is the best move for them. well except nicholas idk i kinda wanna make him look like booboo the fool

So Nadine won immunity and I’m super happy for her ! She’s a great player and fully deserves it. So Nicholas comes up with this master plan for the group of people who voted Hesh on how we are all going to vote and I just kind of go with it. I’m busy, and no one seems to have an issue with it. The plan is to pull Zach in and split votes on Lex and James. Truth be told - I don’t like this plan. But it make sense right. Furthermore, the Maardu people are still being a mess. James and Lex have told many people that they are voting for me simply because of the Guatemala idol. So funny enough, Lex has the audacity to come to me and ask I I have heard my name - so I don’t respond I simply say ‘At this point I’m assuming my name has been thrown out because of the Guatemala idol’. And he says ‘yes you’re right’. But doesn’t acknowledge anything else. Why is he such a mess. Why is he lying to me so blatantly??
So as of right now, Nicholas has declared that Myself, Felipe, Karthik, and Maria will be voting Lex and Nadine. Nicholas, Szymon, And Zach will be boring James. I have this weird feeling in my gut that Zach is going to run straight to Lex and James and tell them this and they will use an idol on james. Should be interesting to see what happens.
I also have a really strange feeling I’m in big trouble for this tribal. Like game dangerous trouble. Something seems off to me. I think I might be the victim of a blindside. All I can say is that I’m going to stick with my plan and continue playing this game like everyone else is roo.

For this tribal, I'm trying to get more votes on Lex, because I'm only finding out that Nicholas assigned us who to vote, with James leaving in the end and I don't WANT to do that. I know that Nicholas and Lex were friends because they played an org together previously, and James trusts me. At the very least, Felipe and Szymon are onboard with me to get Lex out!!!