recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Touch Up

A few adjustments go a long way.

## Transcript

Mallory: Huh, man.
Whitney: Huh, man, what a hike!
Natalie: Yeah.
Whitney: Hey, thanks for coming with us, mom.
Natalie: Oh, sure.
Mallory: I mean, the view up here is amazing.
Natalie: It really is. We should take a picture.
Whitney: Yeah. Oh, hey, excuse me, sir. Would you mind taking a picture of us?
Jason: Sure.
Whitney: Thank you.
Natalie: Thanks.

Jason: And you mind scooting in a little bit?
Natalie: Oh, sure.
Jason: You know, if we could get some of this... natural lighting. There we go.
Mallory: Okay.
Jason: You in the middle, you're kind of slouching, can you straighten your back just a little bit? Okay, there we go.
Whitney: I think we're good. Just take a picture.
Jason: No, you know, this isn't working. George, can you come out here?
Mallory: George?

Jason: Let's powder off the older one.
Natalie: I don't even... I just went on a hike! Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay.
Jason: Okay, and let's get the girl on the left a wig.
Whitney: What? Why would I need a wig?
Natalie: Did he say wig? I don't understand.
Whitney: This looks like Snooki.
Mallory: What?
Natalie: I don't under...
Jason: And let's get the girl on the right a prop, her arms are juts kind of dangling there. I'm not a big fan. Okay.
Mallory: Okay, I'm...
Natalie: How is that...?
Mallory: I don't understand, I think you're just taking this way too far.
Jason: Am I, girl on the right? Am I?

Whitney: Wow! This is my camera!
Jason: Here we go. You know what, this isn't working. Frank, sweetie, I need a model and I need it now.
Mallory: A model what? I don't under...
Whitney: Model? What?
Natalie: I think we just need a picture... what's happening?
Whitney: Mom!
Mallory: Where are you taking her?
Jason: Girls, this is your new mother.
Whitney: What?!
Jason: ¿Como estas? Muy bien, muy bien. Argh. Perfecto. Gross. Okay, people, we're going to need a massive overhaul pronto, and I'm not going to lie, I'm not loving this backdrop.
Mallory: What? This is the natural scenery.
Jason: Here we go, let's move, let's move, we're on a time schedule here! Let's get some wind!
Whitney: What? Wind?
Mallory: There's actual wind!
Jason: Yes, yes, coming together.
Mallory: This doesn't make sense!
Jason: Uh huh. Alright, we're still missing something!

Matt: Okay, first up: her nose.
Whitney: What?!
Matt: Scalpel.

## Trivia

* This sketch was uploaded the day after the episode aired on BYUtv.
* This is the first sketch of Season 2 Episode 5.
* This is the first sketch since Protecting the Innocent to include all ten cast members, and the fourth time of Season 2, after Welcome Back Song and WrongCom.
* This is only the second sketch of Season 2 to feature a guest star, with Viviane Quintela playing the model, after a voice-only role of Kenny Baldwin in 1-800-Phone-Magician.
	+ Viviane Quintela is the third guest star to be featured in Studio C, after Elizabeth Funk in Awkward Avoidance Viking: Grandma's House and Shawn Bradley in Shoulder Angel Meets Shawn Bradley.
Spencer

*For the crew member named Spencer, click here.*

Spencer is a baby with a high IQ and a very commanding attitude. He is also somehow able to talk. The first sketch he appeared in was Generation Gap, where he meets his new roommate, the second was Spencer Goes to Class, where he sees an old girlfriend, the third was The Wrong Sketch, and the fourth Baby Spencer Goes to Work.

## Generation Gap

Having room mates with an age difference can always be hard but, what would you do if your room mate was really, really young? Watch and see if James can adapt and stay in his new apartment.

## Baby Spencer Goes to Work

Baby Spencer is BACK! (dun dun DUN!) Watch how Spencer uses his adorable baby face to fight through the tumultuous corporate world. This soft-skinned, weak-boned genius has ambitious plans!
The Dog Whisperer with Farley Archer: Doggy Depression

South Dakota is proud to introduce its newest public access television, show, 'The Dog Whisperer.' Watch and be mesmerized as the host, Farley Archer, meets and cures dogs with a variety of illnesses and problems on your TV station today!

## Transcript

Jeremy: Hello everyone, I'm Farley Archer, and welcome to *the Dog Whisperer*. East and South Dakota's number one source for everything canine. Because when you whisper to a dog, the dog... whispers back to you.

Jeremy: We've got a great show lined up for you tonight, so let's get started. Uh, take it away, Terry, and play that funky music. That's the wrong song, Terry.

Jeremy: Terry and I were flatmates when I first moved here to go to university, isn't that right, Terry?
Stephen: That is correct.
Jeremy: My first guest tonight recently completed a doctorate at McGill, everyone please welcome Sandra Tellinghuisen, and her red heeler mix, Judith! ...That's the wrong song, Terry.

Jeremy: Hello, Sandra.
Whitney: Hi.
Jeremy: Very nice to have you here. And uh, tell us about Judith, and what you'd like to know.
Whitney: Well, she seems to be having trouble sleeping, I don't know if-
Jeremy: It's the wrong time, Terry. It's the wrong time. Sorry about that, um, let's have a look at here, yeah?
Whitney: Yeah.
Jeremy: Okay. Hello Judith. Hello. Oh yes, yes, it appears she has no fight left in her. I'm afraid she's battling a bit of depression.
Whitney: Oh, what can we do for her?
Jeremy: It's nothing a good old whisper won't fix.

Jeremy: Come here, Judith, come here, come here. Oh, there we go, there we go. Judith. Yes, Judith. Please. Please, don't fight. I know life can be tough. You and I both know this world just isn't fair. But you think you have depression. I live 5000 miles away from home. I wish I had someone to scratch my head at night, and give me good food. Instead, I have neighbors that park in my driveway and play Norwegian death metal music all throughout the night. If that's not depression, I don't know what is. But I do know, Judith, that you no longer have it.

Jeremy: I think she's going to be just fine.

Whitney: Thank you.
Jeremy: You're welcome. It's time for a commercial, and when we come back, we will have an exclusive look at the new animal control uniforms from this fall's fashion guide. Once again, that's coming up- Terry, I'm not finished yet. I'm not done! I'm coming up right after the br-
Хищная тень

## Описание

Отдаленно напоминает человеческую фигуру, состоящую из черной субстанции неизвестного происхождения. Вещество густое и маслянистое, немного напоминающее нефть, но в то же время имеющее ряд существенных отличий, начиная от более плотной консистенции и заканчивая неизвестными веществами в составе. При взаимодействии с материальными предметами, вступает в химическую реакцию, при которой объект подвергается ускоренному старению.

Существо чрезвычайно агрессивно к любым живым существам, начиная от людей и заканчивая животными. При обнаружении оных, существо впадает в ярость и всеми доступными способами старается вступить в физический контакт с жертвой. При продолжительном контакте, жертва полностью поглощается существом, оставляя после себя лишь неорганическую составляющую.

Доподлинно неизвестно, откуда оно пришло, но любой кто хоть раз встречался с ним и при этом выжил, утверждает, что "веет от него чем-то потусторонним и жутким, будто сама смерть пришла в обличье этой твари".

## Факты

* Первый, задокументированный случай столкновения с тенью, произошел в ████г. в штате Аризона, в Америке, пожилым мужчиной возраста 60-65 лет, возле небольшого городка ██████. Мужчина утверждал, что существо, встреченное им, ничто иное как сам Дьявол и что ненависть, которую он почувствовал от существа: "не человеческая, бессмысленная и ужасающая в своей неестественности".
* Существо крайне уязвимо к ультрафиолету, и любым источникам естественного освещения и, при возникновении угрозы, способно переходить в жидкую форму и впитываться в любой неорганический объект.
* Существо имеет некое извращенное подобие разума и способно к обучению, так, попав однажды в ловушку, второй раз, существо сможет её заметить и избежать.
* Чаще всего, тень можно встретить в подвалах старых зданий и других темных и сырых помещениях, не редко находящихся под землей, независимо от того, проживают по близости люди или нет.
Черный Унитаз

Он был обычным унитазом, который как обычно находился в обычном магазине мебели. Но его купила одна семья... их общая фамилия была Букин. Отец после покупки этого унитаза сошел с ума...........................................................................и прирезал свою жену. Напоследок он оставил детей.

Потом он пошел в унитаз их топить. Унитаз их яростно затащил в себя.....

И с тех пор каждый житель этого дома был найден мертвым. В канализации.............

Способности Черного Унитаза:

* Засасывание человеческих тел в себя
* У него свой собственный разум
* Порабощает своих жертв и заставляет их убирать за ним
* Он любит макарошки:3

Внешний вид:

* черный как негр. накаченный и очень красивый негр. одним словом - идеал!!

Личность:

* Он очень очень злой!!!! Самый злой из всех злых. Ему нравится засасывать. Он чертов садист!!
Stranger Things Parody: We Have to Save Will

There's nothing a mother wouldn't do for her child, and Joyce Byers will prove it to you. Why stop at Christmas lights to get Will Byers back, when there's so many more holidays you can use to your advantage?

## Transcript

Stephen: Mom?
Mallory: He's gone, Jonathan. Will is gone again. I don't know where he is.

**Seasonal Things
Chapter Nine**
Mallory: I don't know where he is.
Stephen: No, there's no way.
Mallory: I've searched everywhere. He's gone. But, if he could communicate through the lights before, he can do it again.
Stephen: Okay.
Mallory: I'll pull out the Christmas tree as well.
Stephen: Wait, why?
Mallory: We have to reach him, Jonathan. It's the only way!

Mallory: Help me with these decorations!
Stephen: What about the lights?
Mallory: Just help me! We have to contact Will!

Mallory: Do you see Will?

Stephen: Anything else?
Mallory: Hang this mistletoe in the kitchen. Will?! Will?!
Stephen: Why is there a turkey in here?
Mallory: We have to reach him, Jonathan. The smell will reach him.
Stephen: I don't understand.
Mallory: Go to your room! Go get more lights!

Stephen: Mom!
Mallory: Hurry up, Jonathan! Will, can you hear me?
Stephen: Why are you putting up so many decorations?!
Mallory: The love will bring him home, Jonathan. Will? Will?!
Stephen: This is ridiculous!
Mallory: Come help me in here!
Stephen: What is this?
Mallory: It's Father Christmas, Jonathan! Will!
Stephen: I'm almost positive this thing took Will.

Mallory: Christmas might not be enough. Scatter these all around.
Stephen: Mom!
Mallory: Quick, put this next to the elf.
Stephen: Seriously, President's Day?
Mallory: I'm gonna light these.
Stephen: Mom, stop! Stop! He's got to be around here, there's no need for this.
Mallory: Will says he loves us.
Stephen: Mom, no.
Mallory: "Fax me". Go fax him, Jonathan!
Stephen: I need you to sit down.
Mallory: Go fax him! "You're cool". Thanks, Will.

Matt: Mom?
Mallory: Will? Sweetie, is that you? Ah!
Stephen: Oh!
Matt: Mom? Mom?
Mallory: Will!
Stephen: Are you okay? What happened?
Matt: There was a man, and he saved me.
Stephen: Was it Father Christmas?
Matt: No.

Stephen: President's Day worked.
Adam: You're safe now, young Will Byers.
Matt: Thank you, Rushmore Presidents, sirs.
Jeremy: Remember, young Will, speak softly, and carry a big stick.
James: Because that Demogorgon...
Jason: He's going down like a cherry tree.
VISCIPAM: Funny Girlfriend

Video Instruction Series Can Inform People About Men.

## Transcript

Jason: Welcome to VISCIPAM. Doctor Friedrich Schneider here to answer the question: Are males threatened by dating females who are funnier than them? We took a random poll and a hundred per cent of the females said yes and a hundred per cent of the males said no. Therefore, the only way to make a correct conclusion is to make an observation.

Jason: We located three females who had a background in humor and asked them and their boyfriends to participate in our little study. We told the females to just be themselves and socialize with the other participants. The first female told clever puns. The second female had a knack for physical humor. The third did spot-on impersonations of well-known singers. The three boyfriends sensing that their own sense of humor was being challenged attempted to take control of the group's interest. This boyfriends used his cell phone to look up jokes, and then tried to pass them off as his own.

Natalie: Honey, was that Brian Regan, who said that? It's a Brian Regan-joke.
Jason: The next boyfriend tried to replicate one of the girls' physical humor by shoving objects up his nose. The third boyfriend simply screamed. The attempts at humor may have been different, but all had the same result: awkward silence. This made the males even more desperate. Boyfriend one began to read jokes off the back of the papers. This male ripped off his shirt and ran around the room like a madman. The third male continued screaming, then he awkwardly kicked the refreshments and then punched a bowl of candy. Owie! It looked painful.

Jason: Things went south when male one began to beg for laughter. Male two started to cry in the corner like a little baby. Male three attempted to bribe the others by pulling out his wallet and offering them some money. Eventually, the females gave, what scientists refer to as, "the sympathy laugh". This placated the males and they returned to their normal feelings of misguided comical superiority.

Jason: In conclusion, if you are a female with a sense of humor, either lose it, or prepare yourself for a long and lonely life. Join us next time as we explore the many ways in which men denies they're bonding. Adios!

## Trivia

* This sketch was uploaded the day after the episode aired on BYUtv.
* This is the penultimate sketch of Season 2 Episode 5.
* This is the ninetieth sketch in which Matt Meese is featured.
* This is the second instalment of VISCIPAM, after Study of Male Aggressiveness Gone Wrong! Ping Pong.
	+ The working title of this sketch was **VISCIPAM - Funny Girl** although it is misspelled as **VISIPAM** in the closing credits.
* This is the only sketch of the episode to be directed by another cast member, as Mallory Everton directed this sketch, while also being featured in it.
* This is the second sketch of the episode to be filmed outside of the studio, after FauxPocalypse.
* Jason Gray plays multiple roles in this sketch, and his wife Jennifer Pett Gray also plays a role in this sketch.
Smith (disambiguation)

**This article is a disambiguation page for Smith**
The following is a list of links to pages that might share the same title.

Please follow one of the disambiguation links below or search to find the page you were looking for if it is not listed.

If you were looking for **Smith**, you may have been looking for one of the following pages:

**Lucky Blue Smith (guest star)**The Smiths
If you were looking for something similar to **Smith**, you may have been looking for one of the following pages:

**Jon Schmidt (guest star)**
WrongCom

Now TSA is getting in the way of true love!

When Whitney has to leave for Paris, but is stopped by the love of her life. Watch and see if he can stop her from leaving him.

## Transcript

Whitney: He didn't come.
Mallory: Don't worry, Jules, moving to Paris to be the top executive of a fashion magazine is the right call.
Whitney: Yeah, you're right. Well, I'm going to miss you guys. I'll make sure to write you in Paris. Oh, bye, grandma.

Jason: Julia!
Whitney: Derek?
Stacey: Excuse me, sir, only ticketed passengers are allowed beyond this point.
Jason: What about for a man in love?

Jason: Julia, I love you. I loved you since the second I met you. I love the way your nose crinkles whenever you smile. I love how you pick off all the toppings from the pizza. I love that you read at a fourth-grade level. I love that you're self-conscious about the bald spot on the back of your head. I love that you cheated on the SAT, just so you could follow your high school boyfriend to Stanford. I love that you steal from your dad, whenever you want to go to Vegas.
Matt: What?
Jason: I love that you lie to your grandma, and tell her you have a terminal illness, just so you don't have to talk to her anymore.
Natalie: I gave you my kidney!
Jason: I love how you feed your roommate while she sleeps so that she'll be the fat one. I love that you never want to have any kids. I love that you tried to smuggle dangerous animals onto airplanes.
Stacey: Excuse me, what did you say?
Jason: I love how you throw pop cans at homeless people, and then tell them to get a job. And I know I don't deserve you, but...

Stacey: Alright, you are under arrest.
Whitney: What? Oh.
Stephen: Wait. Julia!
Whitney: Jackson!
Stephen: I love that you've been seeing me behind your boyfriend's back.
Jason: I love that too.
Stacey: Get her out of here.

## Trivia

* This is the first sketch of Season 2 Episode 2.
* This is the seventieth sketch of Studio C.
* This sketch was uploaded on the same day as the episode aired on BYUtv.
* This is the first sketch since Welcome Back Song to feature all ten Cast members.
	+ This is the first sketch since Welcome Back Song to feature Adam Berg.
* This is the third sketch in a row to feature a live animal, after a cat was featured in Laundry and a dog appeared in Operation Breakup.
* Adam Berg is holding up a sign saying "Mayne", possibly in reference to producer Diane Mayne.
The Doorstep Part 2

The awkward doorstep scene from a girl's prospective.

When returning home from a date there is proper etiquette that takes place to execute the perfect doorstep scene.

## Trivia

* This is the third sketch of Season 1, after the show's premiere TMNT Dance and The Doorstep Part 1.
* As was usual at the time, the sketch was uploaded on the same day the episode aired on BYUtv.
* This is the second part of The Doorstep. Its prequel can be found here.
	+ During the episode, this sketch and its sequel are separated with a rewind-effect. However, this can not be seen on YouTube, where these are separate sketches.
		- The symbol that appears on screen during this rewind is a fast-forward icon, the opposite of what is being displayed.
* Despite The Doorstep Part 1 and **The Doorstep Part 2** partially having the same transcript, part 1 is 19 seconds longer than the second part.
* This sketch was played directly after The Doorstep Part 1, instead of being separated into different episodes, like many sequels.
* Jason was credited to have appeared in this sketch, but he does not.
* This sketch and its prequel were featured in the special Season 1 Favorites.
Sounds of a Seashell

Seashells are so cool and if you put it up to your ear, you can hear the sounds of the waves and the ocean. ...and maybe a little bit more!

## Transcript

Whitney: We have too much stuff.
Adam: I agree, like, why do we even have a giant seashell?
Whitney: Oh, that was my grandma's! Plus, if you put your ear to it, you can hear the ocean. See?
Adam: Oh, um... Oh, yeah, I guess that's kind of cool.

Jason: All hands on deck! Storm's approaching fast!
Adam: Uh, is this a joke?
Whitney: Is what a joke?
Adam: Nothing.

Jason: Man overboard!
James: The ship is sinking!
Whitney: Are you alright? You look worried.
Adam: No, I'm fine.

James: If anyone can hear me, save us!
Jason: Save us!
Stephen: Save us!
Adam: Hello?
Stephen: A voice from the heavens!
Adam: No.
Stephen: It's the devil, come to claim our souls!
Adam: No, I...I'll help, um...

Stephen: The winds have increased tenfold!
Jason: And they smell like tacos!
James: I'm drowning!
Stephen: Do something!

Whitney: What are you doing?
Adam: I don't know, I'm looking for something. I don't know what. Life savers!

Jason: We're saved!
James: Yay!
Whitney: Are you sure you're alright?
Adam: I am now.

James: Oh no, they're melting!
Jason: And the sharks are attracted to the sugar!
Stephen: We're doomed!
Study of Male Aggressiveness Gone Wrong! Ping Pong

Video Instruction Series Can Inform People About Men

## Transcript

Jason: Doctor Friedrich Schneider here, the world's foremost authority on male anthropology. The university has asked that I publish my most recent findings in a video series. I call it "VISCIPAM". It's not German, it's an acronym for "Video Instruction Series Can Inform People About Men". We recently performed a case study about male aggressiveness. We found it rather illuminating.

Jason: We placed our two young volunteers in a room with nothing but a ping pong table and the appropriate equipment. The subjects were given no instructions on how to behave. Subject 1 approached Subject 2 and challenged him to a game. For 40 minutes, they played ping pong in perfect accordance to the established rules. Then Subject 2 suggested that the winner of each match be allowed one free shot at the loser's back. Subject 1 agreed, and the two enjoyed a new game, which they called "Sting pong". This may seem like harmless male behavior, but once a male starts down this path, there is no stopping his madness.

Jason: After 50 minutes, they began to spin after each hit. After 60 minutes, they began to run around the table after every hit! At 70 minutes, they would lift up the short from their back and they increased the punishment to fifty hits! Fascinating!

Jason: At 83 minutes, the table was flipped over, and used as a protective barrier as the two entered war. Finally, at 100 minutes, they had abandoned the English language altogether and established a new government, based on an absurd, yet surprisingly effective, ping pong democracy.

Jason: You have now finished episode 1 of VISCIPAM. In part 2, we will study the male behavior known as wannabe. Auf wiedersehen.

## Trivia

* This is the penultimate sketch of Season 2 Episode 2.
* This sketch was uploaded a day after the episode aired on BYUtv, and the sketch was renamed from **VISCIPAM: Ping Pong** to **Study on Male Aggressiveness Gone Wrong! Ping Pong**.
* Jason Gray played two roles in this sketch.
* This is the first installment of VISCIPAM.
* This sketch is partially filmed in black and white.
* This is the second sketch of Season 2 Episode 2 to include a language other than English, other than Mona Lisa's Smile.
* This is the third sketch of Season 2 Episode 2 with less than three Cast members, after Mona Lisa's Smile and Just Jeremy: Sci-Fi Movies.
* This is the sixtieth sketch to feature Jason Gray and the seventieth sketch to feature Matt Meese.
The Dog Whisperer with Farley Archer: Rescue Dogs

South Dakota is proud to air the second taping of its newest public access television, show, 'The Dog Whisperer.' Watch and be mesmerized as the host, Farley Archer, meets and cures dogs with a variety of illnesses and problems on your TV station today!

## Transcript

Jeremy: Hello everyone, I'm Farley Archer, and welcome to the Dog Whisperer, because a dog is more than man's best friend. Sometimes he's his only friend.

Jeremy: But we've got a great show lined up for you tonight, so, let's get started, take it away, Terry. Uh, play that funky music! Terry, that's the Watergate tapes... president Richard Nixon... I don't know why you have that. Didn't you get the playlist of the music I sent you? I gave you my iTunes password.
Stephen: My computer doesn't have iTunes.
Jeremy: Wait, is that my Oregon Trail disk?
Stephen: Yeah, yeah.
Jeremy: What, Terry, I hadn't finished the game yet. I had just gotten through Wyoming.
Stephen: Sorry...
Jeremy: You know what, it's fine, it's fine. Uh, we're still going to move on with the show.

Jeremy: Yeah, um, before we get started tonight, we have a community calendar announcement. The Woonsocket Community Yard Sale will take place this Saturday from 11 AM to 5 PM, with a spaghetti dinner to follow. Um, you will not want to miss that one? Isn't that right, Terry?
Stephen: Maybe there will be some iTunes there.
Jeremy: Terry, we're not going to get any iTunes at a yard sale. It's a program. It lives in a machine.
Stephen: I'm just... saying there might be.
Jeremy: How would that work, Terry?
Stephen: It could have taken physical form by absorbing someone's life force in a lightning storm, it's pretty common.
Jeremy: Um, I'd like to... I'd like to welcome out my next guest, representing the Beetle Country animal shelter, please welcome John-Curtis Symens and Toby!

Jeremy: Hello, John-Curtis, very nice to have you here.
James: Well, thank you for having me.
Jeremy: Okay, well. Now, Toby here is a rescue dog up for adoption, am I correct?
James: Uh, he was! But actually, we just found a family for him. Only, we're a bit concerned they might not take him because he isn't house-trained.
Jeremy: Well, it's nothing a little whisper can't help.
James: Oh, alright. Stay there, Toby.

Jeremy: Hey there, Toby. Congratulations on all of your success. We're not that different, you and me. You're a rescue dog who just got adopted. Me, I came here as an exchange student, and my host family put me up for adoption, which, looking back on it, I'm pretty sure is illegal. But then I was adopted by a family here in South Dakota, but it turns out, they only needed some help with their harvest. But I have this television show. It doesn't bring me happiness. I would switch places with you in a heartbeat. I so desperately wish I were you.

Jeremy: I think Toby is going to be alright.
James: Are you okay?
Jeremy: I'm fine, yeah.
James: Are you sure?
Jeremy: I said I'm fine. Uh, let's take it to a commercial, Terry.

Jeremy: Terry?
Tickle Fight

An inexperienced executioner approaches the chopping block to kill a prisoner. To the watching official's shock and confusion, he slaps him across the face.

## Transcript

Ike: Tickle fight!
Matthew: Tickle fight!
Dalton: Tickle fight!

## Trivia

* This is the second sketch of Season 13.
* The title of the sketch are the only spoken words in the sketch, with all three appearing actors proclaiming it in the last few seconds.
What's the Word

Ever forget a pretty basic word and it bothers you that you can't remember it? Ugh, the struggle is REAL.

## Transcript

James: Oh hey Matt, I need to tell you something important.
Matt: What's up?
James: There's something wrong with the... you know?
Matt: No. What are you talking about?
James: Well just, uh… just thought you want to know that the um… the… what's the word?
Matt: What? Describe it.

James: Okay, so, you know, like, when you go to the store, you get in your car?
Matt: Is something wrong with the car?
James: No. You know bears?
Matt: The animal? Yes, I know what bears are.
James: Okay, so like, when you go camping, and you have to hide from the bears?
Matt: I guess?
James: That thing.
Matt: A tent?
James: A tent? You don't own a tent. Why would I be talking about a tent?
Matt: Why are you talking about bears? Give me better clues!

James: It's a hard word! It's like... ah... you need it when you go exercising.
Matt: A gym membership?
James: No. You know how you put stuff in your house?
Matt: Furniture?
James: No. I mean, like that, for you… for yourself. Metaphorically. Your heart pumps.
Matt: Metaphorically, my heart pumps? What is it? Blood?
James: What does blood have to do with bears?
Matt: You tell me! Is it oxygen?
James: No, why would I be worried about oxygen? You're the one with asthma.
Matt: Why would you say that?
James: Sorry, it's just a completely different problem.
Matt: The only problem is that my stupid roommate can't communicate!
James: Peter? Dude, he's deaf.
Matt: Yeah, I know he's deaf. He's not the problem. Never mind. I give up on this.
James: But there's something wrong with the thing!
Matt: Then give me better clues!

James: You... you go in there, and you cut it up!
Matt: Origami?
James: That's folding, not cutting.
Matt: Okay, you need to stop acting like I'm the stupid one.
James: You can't figure it out!
Matt: Neither can you!
James: Well, I know what it looks like... in my head.
Matt: Then describe it! Something detailed that makes sense!
James: I... ah... Okay! Oh, I got it! Okay, so, you know those things when you're squished up? You know when you're squished up, like in an elevator… or a concert! You know, you're doing the concert and everyone's squished, and you're like "Oh no! We're all squished up, like when your mom-", oh, and you… but you gotta take the roof off, and so you're like… you know, like "Oh, hello, giant person"... and it smells bad?

Matt: Okay, I give up again. Clearly, I've bitten off more than I can chew.
James: Yeah, you chew it!
Matt: You chew it, like a food?
James: Food! Oh, that's what it's called.
Matt: Food?! Food is the word you couldn't think of?
James: Yes. Your food.
Matt: Wow. So what's wrong with my food?
James: It's burning.
Matt: Why didn't you say something?
James: I tried to say something! What else could I have said? "Hey Matt, it's burning." Oh yeah, I could have said that.
Steve Young

*You may have been looking for another page about a certain **Steven**. If you were, you might be able to find the right page here.*

Jon Steven "Steve" Young, born October 11, 1961 (62 years old), is a former professional American football quarterback who played 15 seasons in the National Football League (NFL). Young played college football for Brigham Young University and played professionally for the Los Angeles Express of the United States Football League (USFL), and the NFL's Tampa Bay Buccaneers and San Francisco 49ers. Young was named the NFL's Most Valuable Player in 1992 and 1994 and was the MVP of Super Bowl XXIX. He is a member of the College Football Hall of Fame and the Pro Football Hall of Fame. At the time of his retirement, he had the highest passer rating among NFL quarterbacks with at least 1,500 passing attempts (96.8). As of October 2015, he is ranked fourth all-time and is ranked highest amongst retired players. His 43 career rushing touchdowns is second among quarterbacks, while his 4,239 rushing yards ranks third all time. Young also won a record six NFL passer rating titles.

Young appeared in one episode of Frasier and one episode of Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (cast as Lois' former high school football quarterback boyfriend, Joe Maloy). He also made a guest appearance as himself in the Dharma & Greg episode "Are You Ready for Some Football?" encouraging Dharma, the team's Number One Fan. In 1995, Young appeared as himself in the Season 6, Episode 12 episode of Beverly Hills, 90210. He also made cameo appearances in the Mormon comedy The Singles Ward (2002) and in two episodes of BYUtv's Studio C (2014). Young also made a guest appearance as himself in season 8 of Wings' "Call me Angel" as a passenger of Sandpiper Air. Young was originally offered a part in the 1998 movie There's Something About Mary, but turned the role down. He was replaced by Brett Favre.

Steve Young made a cameo appearance in the sketch "Fastest Newscast Ever" and a longer guest appearance in the sketch "49th Episode Intro".

## Fastest Newscast Ever

The big game went into triple overtime and now this news cast has to fit their entire program into five minutes. Matt Lauer, Diane Sawyer, Wolf Blitzer, Tom Brokaw, Bill O'Reilly or Megan Kelly would be hard pressed to live up to this.

## Studio C's 49th Episode Intro with Steve Young

It's Studio C's 49th episode on Monday, November 17, and we're celebrating all the things that are great about the number 49!
The Piano Guys

*You may have been looking for another page about a certain **Jon**. If you were, you might be able to find the right page here.*

*You may have been looking for another page about a certain **Steven**. If you were, you might be able to find the right page here.*

The Piano Guys are an American musical group consisting of Jon Schmidt, Steven Sharp Nelson, Paul Anderson, and Al van der Beek, starting off in 2010. They gained popularity through YouTube, where they posted piano and cello renditions of popular songs and classical music. Schmidt and Nelson's music is accompanied by professional-quality videos shot and edited by Anderson and formerly by Tel Stewart. Their first four major-label albums The Piano Guys, The Piano Guys 2, A Family Christmas, and Wonders each reached number one on the Billboard New Age Albums and Classical Albums charts.

Annie Schmidt, the daughter of pianist Jon Schmidt, went missing on October 16, 2016, most likely after going on a hike into the mountains. Unfortunately, she was pronounced (confirmed) deceased by her family on November 12, 2016, after having found human remains at the bottom of a cliff, with clothing and personal items belonging to her.

They collaborated with Studio C in the sketch "The Piano Guys Behind ThePianoGuys" and have attended at least one live taping. They also collaborated with Jeremy Warner and Natalie Madsen (among others, like ShayCarl and Peter Hollens) in a Christmas music video, where Jeremy and Natalie appeared as shepherds.

## The Piano Guys Behind ThePianoGuys

Have you ever wondered how the ThePianoGuys move the grand pianos on top of mountains, Great Wall of China, trains and other crazy locations? Meet The Piano Guys Behind ThePianoGuys.
Gradient X

Kripipasta

Короч. Была девушка её звали Грэд Майлер. Был 2009 год. Всё было круто, у нее была своя группа - "Эра безумия ". Групппа выступала на всяческих мероприятиях. Чаще всего в морге.

Итак всё вроде норм, пока Грэд не опоздала на свой концерт. Это был очень важный концерт, ведь он мог прославить их группу. В итоге на неё все обозлились и начали избивать .

В 2011 её мать по её вине попала в аварию . На похоронах девочка смеялась как псих .

Вскоре после этого она пришла домой и сказала отцу: " Я пойду всех убивать!!!" . Он не смог её остановить. После этого в городе начали происходить серийные убийства .

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

Интересные факты :

•Грэд самая добрая из Крипипасты .

•Грэд любит кексики .

•Её лутший друг это -Radio Face .

•Грэд живёт в России .

•Грэд красит волосы в радугу , цветными мелками .
Taylor Lyman

Taylor Lyman is a member of the Editing Department of Studio C. He has been working with Studio C since Season 5. He was also a Digital Imaging Technician during Season 7.

Taylor Lyman graduated from Brigham Young University, and he has been working for BYU Broadcasting and Big Fish Design from 2014 until 2017. He has worked on several different television series, namely *The Story Trek*, *Granite Flats* and *Studio C*. Since 2017, he has been working as a post-production supervisor for Monument Pictures.

He started working for Studio C in Season 5 and left in Season 8.
What the France?!

If you ever visit France, keep an eye on your stuff.

Tourists are always taken advantage of in foreign countries. Watch as this couple travels to France and runs into a few problems.

## Transcript

There are no words being said; this sketch does not have a spoken transcript.

## Trivia

* This is the first sketch of Season 1 Episode 2.
* As was usual at the time, the sketch was uploaded on the same day the episode aired on BYUtv.
* This is the first sketch to be filmed in black and white, instead of in color.
	+ The last five seconds are in color, but that is because of the panning/zooming that happens in a lot of sketches.
* This is the first sketch without any voices in it. Bashful E-mail has no words in its transcript, but mumbling can be heard.
* This is the first sketch that supposedly doesn't take place in the United States, as the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France, can be seen in the background.
* James Perry is playing as a Frenchman, a role he has played in more sketches.
	+ Examples of these sketches are Couchville and Foreign Exchange.
* This is the shortest sketch of Season 1 Episode 2, based on duration, over a minute shorter than Facebook Philanthropist.
Stephen Meek

* General
* Physical
* Social

*You may have been looking for another page about a certain **Steven**. If you were, you might be able to find the right page here.*

Stephen Meek was one of the ten regular cast members from season 1 until season 9, first being featured as a featured cast member until season 4, and he married fellow cast member Whitney (Call) Meek. After he left Studio C, she created the sketch comedy group **JK! Studios** with the ten original cast members, with which he reached the semifinals in the comedy competition *Bring the Funny*.

## Additional information

**Home state:** Texas

**LDS mission:** South Korea

## Interview with Stephen Meek

When Stephen saw his first Divine Comedy show, he thought, “Someday I am going to do something similar. It was a weird zen moment with the universe — which is a lot like an experience Amy Poehler describes in her book.”

A couple years later, he landed a spot in the BYU group but still felt like “How did this happen to me?” Even now, as he sits in the writer’s room with the Studio C team, he thinks to himself, “These people are on TV! They are famous!”

Stephen’s taste for comedy was shaped by his older brother’s love for Monty Python. He’s also influenced by his wife, Whitney. The two often get the parts where there’s a kissing scene “because it’s just less awkward for everybody,” Stephen says.

“We both wake up excited and feel very blessed that this is our life right now,” Stephen says. But that doesn’t mean fame has its downsides.

“Last night, Whit and I went to a family friend’s house for dinner,” Stephen says. “They wanted to call a neighbor who had a son who loves the show. We don’t always want to think about the popularity of the show, but we met the kid and he was so excited. It was such a small thing, really. Fame is bizarre, and we are adjusting. Our public life has been significantly altered.”

**Role on the team:** I’m the sweeper (laughing). In the past two seasons, I have found my niche and contributed more. I’m not the strongest script writer, but I do well at editing. If I didn’t get on camera again, I wouldn’t be too upset if I was focusing on producing and directing.”

**Pre-game ritual:** “Even the number of times we’ve done it notwithstanding, I’m still like, ‘Oh man, this is really happening.’ I’m usually in a corner drinking water in the dark studio while I run over everything in my mind — including which lines need the most energy. I have physical anxiety, but as soon as I say my first line it all disappears.”

**Competitive streak:** “When I see the other crazy things that have gone viral, I get competitive thinking our stuff is just as good and should get more views. But you can’t predict what is going to get people excited. We want to do comedy that is worth making and not just pander.”

**Favorite sketch:** “Death Bed Repentance.” “When I first heard the script that Matt wrote, I thought it was the most genius idea we’d ever done. It is the epitome of what a sketch should be.”
The Doorstep Part 1

The awkward doorstep scene from a guy's prospective.

Every date you go on must come to an end, and that usually ends at their door.

## Trivia

* This is the second sketch of Season 1, after the show's premiere TMNT Dance.
* As was usual at the time, the sketch was uploaded on the same day the episode aired on BYUtv.
* This sketch has a sequel, which can be found here.
	+ In contrast to many sketches with a sequel, sketches of The Doorstep were played right after each other, instead of being in separate episodes, like for example Captain Literally and the Gary and Carl Show.
	+ During the episode, this sketch and its sequel are separated with a rewind-effect. However, this can not be seen on YouTube, where these are separate sketches.
		- The symbol that appears on screen during this rewind is a fast-forward icon, the opposite of what is being displayed.
* Despite **The Doorstep Part 1** and The Doorstep Part 2 partially having the same transcript, part 1 is 19 seconds longer than the second part.
* Jason was credited to have appeared in this sketch, but he does not.
* This sketch and its sequel were featured in the special Season 1 Favorites.
The Most Organic Vlogs

These girls can show you how to live a perfectly healthy life... if you don't take any of their advice. Madysen and Sawyer are played by Mallory Everton and Natalie Madsen. In the sketches they talk about their own stupidity, life hacks, and diets. An adaptation of this recurring series has been used for the new channel JK! Studios, called *Loving Lyfe*. There have been five instances of The Most Organic Vlogs in Studio C.

## Diet Tips

Are you totes ready for this amaze lifestyle vlog that we are obsessed with that will supes change your life???!! Learn diet tips, health tips, exercise tips and fashion tips, and feel the world with Sawyer and Madysen now! Science is so amaze!!

## Christmas Hacks

You can never be too early or late to celebrate Christmas, amirite? But either way, you totes have to watch your diet!! So here are some supes cool health tips for you and your BFFs. Peace and love!!

## Parenting Tips

OMG r u totes supes ready to learn about how to parent??! Learn about essential oils, polio, sandwiches, organic baby diapers, seashells, and babieeeees! Involve the Earth! Hang with Sawyer and Madysen and learn to be the parent you always supes wanted to be! #momlife #LouandLeiaForever"

## Mindfulness Tips

Are you ready to GET MINDFUL?! It's the latest trend and supes good for the soul! Join Madysen and Sawyer in their breakthrough Organic Vlog to get all the latest tips and tricks!

## Social Media Tips

Madysen and Sawyer are TOTES BACK with their breakthrough Organic Vlog series! Today, they're shelling out tips for maximizing social media, or soc meds, in their words!

## Charity

Awes news! Sawyer and Madysiin are BACK! In this, their SIXTH Vlog (CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!), they are talking about the importance of charity and how amaze it is! And spoiler, they're also going to feature some dogs! #charingiscaring
Welcome to Studio C Season 10

It’s an all-new cast for Season 10!

## Transcript

Dalton: So, what do we do now?
Tori: Well, the arcade doesn't close until like 11, so...
Dalton: No, I mean... I mean about the show.
Tori: Oh. Man, it's just you, me, and the Studio C van now, bud.
Dalton: I think I have an idea.

Tori: Let's do this.
Dalton: Let's do this.

Jessica: Someone is off tempo. I can tell it's you, Maureen. Okay, let's start from the top, ladies. Pas de bourée, tappety-tap, shimmy-sham.
**Woman**: But I don't know what the shimmy-sham is.
Jessica: Well, then just don't do the shimmy, just do the sham.

Jessica: You're on your own, mom.
**Woman**: But we need you!

Arvin: When I was a kid, I used to try to sneak in a comedy club, but I was too young to get in. I had to use my best friend's ID. He's so ugly, I had to make faces when I used his ID. He like...

Tanner: It's just hard with this chiselled jawline and high-set cheekbones and perfectly quaffed hair. I never know if people really love me for me or just because I'm beautiful. You know what I'm saying?
Dalton: I do.
Tanner: Oh!

Austin: I wouldn't feed this to my dog! Are you crying? If you can't stand the heat, get out of my kitchen! Burn one, take it to the garden, pin a rose on it! Order up.
Tori: Come on.
Austin: Yes, okay.

Tori: We want you to come with us.
Garet: Yes, okay.

Ike: I pledge my undying loyalty as your new U.S. senator. I got to go.

Tori: You got to take a izquierda, it says?
Dalton: That's a left... just... just speak English! Put the map down!

Dalton: Is she okay?
Jetta: I think my bones are all wrong.

## Trivia

* This is the first sketch of Season 10, and is the first to feature the new cast of Studio C.
* This is the first sketch to feature the Studio C Openings.
* The title song is performed by the eleven cast members.
* This sketch was filmed at various locations, including:
	+ In Studio C in Provo, Utah
	+ In a community centre
	+ In front of a restaurant
	+ In a comedy club
	+ At a psychiatrist's office
	+ At a roadside diner
	+ In Garet Allen's house
	+ At a political rally
	+ In a roller skating rink
* The video on YouTube was uploaded two weeks before the start of season 10.
	+ However, the video is unlisted, meaning it does not appear in any searches.
Two Guys On A Scooter

There are few things better than two guys on a scooter, except for maybe 3 guys on a scooter. We dare you not to have this song in your head the rest of the day!

## Plot

The sketch opens with 2 guys (Jason Gray and James Perry) walking out of their houses to go to the grocery store. As the two of them greet each other, they lay eyes on a scooter belonging to James, and he decides to give Jason a ride. The following scenes are intersped with shots of the characters riding the scooter as techno music plays.

Jason and James arrive at the store, and head in to buy groceries. When they get back, they are greeted by Matt Meese, who asks for a ride to his grandfather's house so he can deliver a watermelon. When the three guys arrive, Matt gives the watermelon to his grandpa (Adam Berg) for his exercise before he eats it. Before Matt leaves, his grandpa asks him to take him to the country club. After another scooter ride, grandpa is dropped off at the country club, where the four guys see tons of people running away from the building, screaming in fear. One of the employees (Stephen Meek) warns the four guys of a gas leak, and rides off with them on the scooter as the club explodes.

After they escape, they decide to give a ride to a man (Stacey Harkey) and a woman (Mallory Everton) whose tandem bike got a flat tire. While driving, the seven people are joined by a man looking for directions (Gabe Casdorph), a mannequin, a homeless man (Jared Shores), and his dog. The excess amount of people on the scooter gets the group pulled over by a police officer (Jeremy Warner), who tells them off for their carrying capacity, but ends up joining them on their scooter ride. Eventually, the scooter runs out of gas, and as everyone else leaves, Jason and James deicde to push the scooter back home. The sketch ends with a shot of Jason and James approaching the camera with the scooter as techno music plays, and the two guys fist bump.

## Trivia

* The dog in the video is James Perry's actual pet dog Caesar.
* Some of the locations featured in this sketch include:
	+ *Ridley's Family Markets*
	+ *Riverside Country Club* in Provo, Utah
Tanner & the Deathly Hollers

During a Studio C writing session, a beloved whiteboard marker dies and the cast mournes its loss with tears and tributes. At a Hogwarts sorting ceremony, some unexpected pronouncements, including Tourette Syndrome and OCD, are made and explained. Mister Rogers and Mr. McFeely learn about the wonders of crayons. Though a bank robber's methods enable a quick escape, they may be ill conceived. Jetta snaps as her roommate says goodnight to everything in the room, including a secret roommate.

## Funeral for a Marker

The cast of Studio C holds a funeral for the latest whiteboard marker to run out of ink.

## The New Hogwarts House

A new wizard explains his Tourettes to Hogwarts, accidentally defeating Voldemort in the process.

## Sorting Hat Reveals Dark Truths

We're starting a new series of Studio C Rewinds where we post some sketches that never made it to YouTube! To kick it off, we're rewinding to the time the Sorting Hat revealed some dark truths about our cast when he had some down time after the New Hogwarts House sketch.

## Mr. Roger's Embarrassing Secret

Mr. Rogers and Mr. Mcfeely watch a crayon production video cut to Mr. Rogers eating a crayon.

## The Other Way to Rob a Bank

A robber gets unconventional when he runs his bank hold up through the drive thru.

## Weird Roommate's Goodnight Routine

Jetta snaps as her roommate says goodnight to everything in the room, including a secret roommate.