The Mystery of Albert Sandy

*The Mystery of Albert Sandy* is a well-known LLB by u/IcyOpportunity9, it is the first edition of the Yogurt Extended Universe and is about Greg trying to settle and solve the questionable actions of Albert Sandy.

## Main Characters

* Greg Heffley
* Albert Sandy (Main Antagonist)
* Rowley Jefferson
* Holly Hills
* Dennis Denard
* Erick Glick

## Synopsis

Today at lunch, Albert Sandy told everyone that his parents had gone away for a week and left him home and since he was free from parental control, he was gonna throw a huge party at his place tonight. This caught every guys attention.

One things for sure: Greg is not going. He didn't even think about telling Susan as he knew she wouldn't allow him. The next day, none of the guys who seemed hyped about it were at school today except Albert. Greg tried to ask Albert about the party but he seemed interested in telling some guys who hadn't gone that Elvis Presley had been found on the moon.

After school, Greg tells Rowley about Albert Sandy's party and how he could be linked to those guys' disappearances. Rowley decided to help investigate Albert which basically involved following him home. Albert went into his house and disappeared for a few minutes. He came back with a bag of chips and a bottle of root beer then flopped on the sofa and put in his DVD. That made Greg realize that Albert was a yogurt fetishist which he didn't know. Albert watched this video for who knows how long and it was every bit unsettling as it sounds. Eventually, Rowley said he had to go as his mom was making dinner, so they bailed out.

The boy's didn't show up the next day either, so Greg told Rowley that they should continue keeping an eye on Albert as well as anyone else who could be involved in the kidnapping. A little bit later, Rowley told Greg that Albert Sandy is having another party and this time he was inviting girls. Greg was confused until he saw Albert parading Bryce Anderson around the cafeteria. Greg was not sure why Bryce accepted the invitation but later today, Greg saw Albert handing a wad of cash to him. The fact that Albert was having two parties in one week confused him but then he had an idea: Why not attend Albert's party to see what he is up too. Rowley wasn't that keen on the idea but Greg managed to convince him.

After meeting up with Rowley, Greg headed up to Albert's house, not knowing what to expect. Strangely enough, Greg couldn't see Albert anywhere. Rowley spotted something, Greg thought he found Albert but he was instead pointing at Holly Hills. Greg didn't know WHY Rowley still thought he had a crush on her but then it dawned him. Since Holly is the most popular girl in Greg's class, she probably gets a lot more information then he does so after Holly and her friends stopped dancing, Greg made his move and asked her where Albert Sandy was to which she replied that she haven't seen him since school then mistakely calls Greg Fregley and saying he looks different without his glasses. Greg says that he's the brother of the "Dancing Mom" video which made both Greg and Holly talk about their older siblings pulling pranks on them until Dennis Denard arrived.

Greg thought Dennis wanted to get revenge on him for landing him in summer school and for getting him held back for the 3rd time in a row but it turns out that he wanted to dance with her. Greg certainly wasn't gonna lose her to some future thief/drug dealer so he grabbed a cupcake and threw it at him. Greg didn't hit his face like intended but it was enough to make Dennis mad. Though his aim wasn't very good. Things got worse when the kid who got hit by Dennis yelled Food Fight. At that point, Greg and the other girls bailed out and Greg told Holly about Albert's recent activity. The next day, none of the boys that were in the food fight showed up at school. Even the kids who went to Albert's first party didn't show up either. Greg discovers that Holly has math with Albert and asks her what he does in her class. Apparently Albert at one point pulled out a playboy and read it with the rest of the class without even getting in trouble this makes Greg wonder what he does at night so he got Rowley and Holly to come with him to Albert's house this time later in the day. When they get there, Albert was watching the same stuff he did on Tuesday. He got up and returned a few minutes later but when he got back something was off. It took Greg a moment to realise that this was Erick Glick disguised as Albert Sandy. He then saw Albert sneaking into the backyard, before getting into a van driven by Dennis.

With Albert and Dennis gone, they didn't know what to do until Greg came up with a plan to break into the house. They distracted Erick by breaking a window, snuck in and locked the door so Erick couldn't get back in. They started to look through Albert's house but all they could find porn. Holly finds some notes for Albert's plan in the kitchen. Just when they started to search Albert's room, Dennis' van pulled up in the driveway so they made a run for it. Just before they left, Greg snagged a pile of books he found on Albert's desk. All of them were girl books but one of them was his diary.

Never in a million years did Greg think he was gonna use the Sweet Secrets Diary key again. Greg was expecting Albert's diary to be full sentences of the porn he watched but surprisingly he was wrong.

One of the Entries was: Gotta find a place to hide all of these pornos before my parents get home. "I mean these fine ass h\*\*\*s be quite nice, but I can't let the 'rents discover I'm watching this or they'll take away my computer and I'll never be able to watch porn again."(BRO WTF)

Greg states that was one of the cringiest things he had ever read but it still contained valuable information on Albert's activity. It was all thanks to the diary that he was able to discover Albert's next move which was: "I gotta find another way to get the girls into my basement. With my special yogurt of course."

This sure revealed alot. Though, the diary didn't explain what Albert's plan WAS so Greg is gonna have to keep doing a little more digging.

The next day, Greg was expecting Albert to go around and offer some yogurt to people but Greg found it confusing that he didn't however he did see him offering one to Alex Aruda. Alex didn't show up for the rest of the day making Greg think that his yogurt worked. Greg heard from Holly that Bethany Breen was having a party. Albert didn't say anything about a party making him believe he had something to do with this. Greg had his doubts, until he saw Erick talking to her and he is sure he heard "providing catering" with some help of "a really friendly frozen yogurt place". Greg told all of this to Rowley and Holly and she said she would go investigate though, Rowley and Greg decided they would go too. The only problem was that it was an all-girls party. Luckily, Drama Club left a bunch of wigs lying around.

After school, they went over to Rowley’s, raided his mom's closet for clothes and then met up with Holly. It was a good thing Holly didn't tell the girls who they really were overwise they would've missed out on a ton of juicy gossip. Greg was so engrossed in it that he forgot about the yogurt until it arrived. Soon the two troublemakers arrived with a giant freezer for the yogurt. As soon as they set the freezer down, some of the girls grabbed spoons and started scooping the yogurt. It was at this point Greg knew he had to inform them but then he saw Ruby Bird at the corner of the room. Greg grabbed a spoon of yogurt and carefully approached her. Greg didn't know if she still bites people but this was something Greg wanted her to bite. Sure enough she did. Ruby started to stumble around as she was in some kind of trance and then fell over. Greg saw the panicked looks on the girls faces and he calmly told them that Albert had mixed ground-up yogurt with sleeping pills. This was followed by all the girls dumping their yogurt back into the freezer.

It seemed like whatever secret Albert is hiding was in his basement so the next day, they went back to his house to see what it was. The door was unlocked so the gang went in. Albert and his goons must've had a party of their own because the whole place was a wreck. If Albert's notes were anything to go by he had put a lock his basement so Greg suggested to look for a key. They eventually found it on the kitchen table alongside half eaten tubs of yogurt. Greg states that the goons must've eaten the yogurt as they all were fast asleep. If there's two things Greg doesn't understand about boys his age it is that they are into food fights and wrestling. Somehow Albert managed to combine them both into a game of football with a bowl of yogurt as the ball and he got one of the troublemakers to film it so he can watch it over and over again to satisfy his yogurt fetish. To make matters worse, the boys were completely brainwashed. Just then, Albert, himself, arrived. Greg had no idea what room do until he saw a table full of yogurt tubs. Greg thought he was gonna try and throw it back at him but the other guys noticed him first. Shortly after, Albert was completely covered by the boys, who were trying to lick the yogurt off of. Thanks to that Greg, Rowley and Holly managed to call the police and soon enough they arrived.

The next day, it looked like Albert became famous as Greg saw his face on the front page of the newspaper this morning. Speaking of which, he spent a great chunk of his day testifying the police about everything he saw Albert do. He also learned that Albert planned on making a yogurt-themed porn film so he could sell it and make money to buy more porn. Since he failed to capture any girls, he turned it into a gay yogurt orgy movie. While Albert and his goons won't go to jail there will be consequences when they return to school.

When Greg got back to school, everything was back to normal though in some cases he liked school how it was last week. Though, he doesn't think that starring in Albert's money-making scheme did these guys any favors and until they settle down he is gonna start sitting with the girls. At least he won't be seeing the worst kids in school for a while as a lot of them played a part in Albert's money-making scheme. Most of them got suspended for a week while Dennis and Erick got a two weeks' suspension each and as for Albert, he somehow escaped getting put in a juvenile detention facility and instead got suspended for a month so it looks like Greg isn't gonna hear any ridiculous claims for a month. Greg forgot to mention it earlier but this whole adventure put him off yogurt.

His final words are: Thanks a lot, Albert.