Various Storms and Saints

*March 18, 2020*

After school on Wednesday, Atlanta finds a folded piece of paper slipped through the slots of her locker. She glances around to make sure no one is watching before nervously opening it up. The note reads:

Hey ~~Atlanta~~ ~~Verve~~ Atlanta,

Sorry about yelling at you the other day. I wasn’t really ready to talk about things and I should have just said that instead of throwing a temper tantrum. But I do still want to talk, and I think I can not be as terrible about it this time?

I’ll probably still be mad at you. I don’t think that I can just turn it off. But hopefully I can keep it from getting in the way of having an actual conversation this time. Because I think that’s the only thing that has a chance of making me less mad.

Also, I know that I’ve been kind of an asshole about Verve’s your powers lately. And I want to try to explain myself if I can.

If you’re willing to talk, I’ll be hanging out in that alley behind the community center after school today.

-Ernest

Atlanta stares at the note for a moment. She almost Pockets it, not wanting to risk anyone seeing it, but hesitates. After a second of indecision, she puts it in her backpack instead and closes her locker.

Ernest sits in the alley, his back up against a wall and knees pulled to his chest. A few feet above his head floats a dark gray cloud, crackling with lightning. He takes a slow breath in, holds it for a few moments, then releases it with a steady hiss. The cloud shrinks slightly, but refuses to dissipate.

Not wanting to risk running into Tay or Ellen, Atlanta goes around the community center instead of through to get to the alley. When she sees Ernest there, thundercloud and all, she takes a deep breath and approaches. Her first instinct is to sit next to him, but she doesn’t think that’ll be well received. Instead she stops a few feet away, pulling the sleeves of her swim team hoodie down over her hands.

“Hey, Ernest.”

Ernest looks up at the orange sherbert sound of Atlanta’s voice, but doesn’t make any motion to stand. “Hi, Atlanta.” The stormcloud emits a low rumble of thunder, and Ernest winces. “Sorry. I know you’d probably prefer to talk inside, but, uh, I’ve got this to deal with.” He points up at the cloud. “Thanks for still coming after I yelled at you last time.”

Atlanta shrugs. “I mean, I deserved it.” She glances at the door to the community center. “And out here is fine. Less chance of running into…” She pauses. “Anyway. What did you want to talk about? I mean, your note said, but do you want the whole story, or do you want to explain why you’re scared of me first?”

Ernest lets out a long sigh. “Can we start with why you lied to me for so long? Because I’ve been thinking about it and the only reasons I can come up with are that you don’t trust me or you just don’t care about me.” The cloud inverts itself a few times. “Between that and the way you’ve been using your powers, it’s kind of hard for me to believe that why I’m scared matters to you at all.”

Nodding, Atlanta leans against the wall a few feet away from Ernest. “So, buckle up, I guess? It’s a long story. I mean, to explain it all properly. And it’s something I’m only just really putting together in my head. Between some stuff Tay said and just, thinking about everything, I’m realizing why I’m doing some of this.”

Hands still hidden by her sleeves, Atlanta hugs herself before she continues. “So, you haven’t really met my dad. But uh, he doesn’t like superpowers. So at first, a big part of keeping my identity from everyone was to keep him from finding out about me. I...I didn’t want to think he’d kick me out, but I didn’t really want to risk it, you know? And then there was the whole ‘Atlanta is part of Gambite’ BS. And so I figured if anyone found out, they’d believe Orbital/GAIA over me and kick me off of Big Team. And I couldn’t handle that, Ernest. I **need** Big Team.” Atlanta’s voice chokes up and she pauses to take a breath and not start crying.

“So. It’s not something I wanted anyone to know. All I could envision about anyone knowing was them reacting terribly and losing everything so I just...didn’t tell anyone.” She sighs. “And then there was that fight at the hospital. With the Gambite wannabes trying to kill Star Studded. They’d taken Jasper, and Kieran threw me down through several stories. My mask burned off. Melody saved Jasper, but my options were abandon the team or go back up without it. And I went back up. Dad saw me. Gwen, Melody, Rescue, Bloodshot, and Bella all saw me. Maybe Kieran, I don’t know. After the fight, Dad said I ‘might as well’ come home when I asked if I could. Then threatened to move to New York if I didn’t quit. And I told him I wouldn’t go with him...even though I’d hate to lose Jasper. And Jasper doesn’t deserve to lose someone else. I know that you’re in that boat with Timothy right now...” Atlanta risks a glance over at Ernest to see how he’s responding to all of this.

Lightning flashes above Ernest at the mention of Melody’s name, the cloud doubling in size as Atlanta continues to talk. When she pauses, he can’t keep himself from replying. “Right, and Gwen and Melody reacted so badly to that news and definitely aren’t still your friends, you just had to keep hiding it from everyone else. And your dad didn’t make you quit Big Team, or try to get you involved in weird experiments to research your powers, or actually move to New York with your little brother.” He stands, turning towards Atlanta and glaring at her. “You’re not the only one who needs Big Team.”

Atlanta grimaces at Ernest’s harsh words and shrinks further into her hoodie. “I know I’m not. And he hasn’t, but he’s still not okay with me being on it. And I know that’s not the same as actually leaving...or experimenting?” Atlanta didn’t know about that, but she’s not going to ask now. “And you’re right. I don’t have a good reason anymore. But I’m still scared, and it’s stupid but that doesn’t stop me from being scared. And with you, you’re so scared of Verve that I knew as soon as you knew you’d never want to talk to me again. Which is selfish, but I wanted a last good day with you.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have been so scared of Verve if I knew she was you. Or maybe if she– if you listened to me when I told you to be more careful with your powers! But now I don’t know if everything you’ve told me about them is a lie or–” Ernest realizes how loud his voice is, and takes a shuddering breath.

He puts his back to the wall again, staring out across the empty space to the other side of the alley. The hum of electricity in the air almost drowns out his words as he quietly asks, “Did you know that you Pocketed Carm, back in Boon’s cabin? Did you know that was a thing you could do?”

Atlanta starts to respond about her powers, but stops short at Ernest’s last question. She stands up straight so she can look at him directly. He wouldn’t lie about this, would he? After a moment of just staring at him, she finally chokes out, “I did what?”

Ernest eyes Atlanta warily, arms folded across his chest. Her surprise doesn’t seem feigned, but she’d never seemed like she was lying before either. “It was after Boon sealed away Sapphomet, and all of our powers started going haywire. You absorbed a bunch of my lightning, Carm went all scary-vampire and tried to bite you, but before she did, you vanished her.” He claps his hands for emphasis. “I don’t know what happened after that. She was back by the time I woke up outside of the cabin.”

Atlanta thumps back against the wall and slowly slides down it until she sits, resting her arms on her knees. “But I can’t...she didn’t say anything…when I talked to her. I mean...she’s okay…” She sits there in silence for a moment, thinking about the implications. “I didn’t think I could Pocket anyone. And I didn’t do it on purpose, which I’m sure you’re going to hate more. Is that what you’re scared of? That I’ll Pocket someone who isn’t as hardy as Carm?”

“I’m scared of something way worse than you Pocketing a single person. And I’m sorry, because I know how much it sucks when people are scared of your powers, but it’s the truth.” Ernest looks down towards Atlanta and continues, “I’ve been Pocketed before, you know. I survived, but I have no idea what happened to most of the other people in there. And there were a lot of people.” He sits as well, tipping his head back and staring up into the swirling stormcloud. “When you messed with time during the Gambite attack, you got to fix things. I either didn’t stop things from going badly or actively made them worse. And I’ve got an entire geographical feature to remind me of how awful that went.” He gestures vaguely in the direction of the Bay. “I’m terrified that you’ll make some kind of mistake and it’ll happen all over again, and I won’t be able to prevent it.”

“So what, you think I’m gonna go full supervillain?” She looks over at Ernest with a mixture of hurt and the beginnings of anger. “That’s really what you think of me? That I’ll just say ‘wow I feel like killing thousands of people today with this particular power, by golly that sounds like a fun time.’ You of all people should know that people don’t need strange dimension powers in order to cause a lot of damage, on purpose or otherwise. What makes my Pockets any more dangerous than your powers, Ernest?”

“I don’t think Hero One woke up that morning and thought ‘I’m going to disappear the tri-state area,’ but then they absorbed my storm and got possessed by a reaper and it happened anyway,” Ernest says sarcastically, staring straight ahead to avoid making eye contact with Atlanta. “I know that my powers are dangerous! But I also know how they’re dangerous, so I don’t go around using them in ways I know could turn out badly. Why do you think I avoided letting you absorb my lightning after finding out about your Pockets? Because I was afraid something like you Pocketing Carm might happen, and turns out I was right. Your powers would be less dangerous if you didn’t go around Pocketing digitized cars full of magic weapons or absorbing hell portals when you have no idea what could happen, and your teammate clearly thinks it's a bad idea!”

“So you think I should just not use my powers? I’ve been there, Ernest, and I’m not going back. And for the record, I used my regular old energy absorption on the hell portal. No Pockets required. And I don’t know how or why I Pocketed Carm, but I can’t just sit around being afraid of my powers. That’s a recipe to just lose control of them. And whether or not I get possessed by a reaper or the Abyss or anything else isn’t in my control, but the Pockets are. There are villains out there with the same powers as a lot of heroes. Heck, Ellen and Tachyon supposedly grow up into villains. But you’re not scared of what villains with their same powers are doing. And any of us could do bad things if we’re possessed!” Atlanta takes a deep breath and continues on more calmly. “I’m trying to listen to you, Ernest. I believe you that -- Hero One? -- did bad things with powers like mine. But what I’m also hearing is that you think I shouldn’t use them at all to prevent something like that from happening and I disagree.”

“Hero One used their energy absorption to fuel their ability to Pocket more things at once. I don’t know if it works the same way for you. Probably no one knows how it works. Whatever. Even if you didn’t use your powers at all I’d probably still be afraid.” Ernest hugs his knees to his chest. He opens his mouth to speak, but it takes him a few tries before he can start. “I’ve– I’ve been having nightmares that Verve– that you’re really just that reaper in disguise trying to trick me into letting it absorb my powers again. And I know they aren’t real, but they don’t make it any easier not to be afraid. Especially now that I know you were actually lying about who you were this whole time.” He hides his face in his arms, voice muffled through fabric. “I don’t like being scared of you, or being angry at you about all of this, but I don’t know how to stop.” The cloud above him growls with thunder and begins misting a light rain.

Atlanta starts to move toward Ernest, but remembers he probably doesn’t want her to touch him. “I’m sorry, Ernest. I’m sorry that’s happening to you, and I’m sorry I made it worse. If I had any idea how to make it better, I would. I like being friends with you, Ernest. I like having to pick marshmallows out of my food because as much as I pretend not to, I think it’s funny and it makes me feel cared about. I like how you interact with Jasper, and how hard you’re working on learning ASL. But we’ve both got these giant piles of fear between us and I don’t know where that leaves us.”

Ernest lets the quiet hang between them, the only sounds an occasional blue-white burst of static electricity and the gray wash of traffic in the distance. Eventually, he props his chin on his arms and sighs. “Hearing that you like being friends with me helps a little. It’s been hard for me to think about anyone actually wanting to be friends with me after finding out so many of them have been lying to me.” He hesitates, but pushes forward with what’s been on his mind for the past few days. “Back at Shady Glen, Sapphomet talked to me? Like, in my head or something. She was offering to make my friends and family love me. And I guess the idea that they don’t kind of stuck with me.”

“I know that’s not true, Ernest. I mean, it’s true that I was lying to you. I get thoughts like that, too, all the time. And it’s hard in the moment, but it’s important to remember that they’re not true. Your friends don’t hate you. And even with the things your mom said at that meeting, I know she loves you. I’ve...gone through a lot with my dad recently, but he made sure to assure me that he still loved me...you know, after that first ‘might as well’ when I asked if I could still come home after he found out.” Atlanta rubs her face. After a moment of indecision, she continues. “Sapphomet talked to me, too. Told me she could make my dad accept my powers and me being a superhero. Said she could bring my mom back...implied that Mom wants to come back but can’t. And said she could make Jasper hear.” Atlanta glares down at the ground. “Besides altering Dad like that would just be unacceptably shitty, I know my Mom isn’t coming back. And there’s nothing wrong with Jasper. He doesn’t need to be fixed. Sapphomet was just desperate, and with good reason. She knew she couldn’t beat us.”

“Sorry to hear about your mom. It sounds like you and Jasper and your Dad are figuring things out, though. I know I’ll have to talk about things with my mom eventually, but… I don’t know, there’s been a lot going on and I’m just trying to take things one step at a time.” Ernest wipes off some of the moisture that’s gathered on his face, an indistinguishable mixture of rain and tears. “Sapphomet didn’t stand a chance, huh? Even if we weren’t all on the same page during that fight, we kicked her ass pretty good. Although I kind of wish anyone else could have given away the fact that you’re Verve.”

“Yeah, me too.” Atlanta replies softly.

Ernest turns to look at her. “I guess you’re expecting me to keep your secret too? I mean, I know it would be really shitty to just go around telling people who you are when you don’t want them to know, so I won’t. But I don’t like helping you hurt people the same way all over again.”

Atlanta nods and rests her chin on her knees. “Something Tay said the other day really hit me. That I’ve been so afraid that people will react poorly that I wait too long to tell them, and then they actually are upset with me when they wouldn’t have cared if I’d told them sooner. She’s right. And I’m working on it. But I need to do this at my own pace, Ernest. I might end up hurting someone again, you’re right, but I think after losing both you and Tay I won’t wait as long. I’ve only gotten to choose to tell Ellen and Boon. Please don’t take that decision away from me.”

Ernest grimaces. “I can’t say I don’t think it’s a bad idea to keep hiding your identity from people who want to be your friend, but it’s not like I haven’t made my own share of bad decisions. You don’t have to worry about me trying to make them for you.” His expression softens as he continues, “And you haven’t lost me or Carm. We’re both still here for you. Even if we are a little angry about it.”

Atlanta starts to tear up. “Are you sure about that? Look at where we are. And Tay gave me a hug after Boon’s thing, but I got the feeling she wasn’t actually ready for that yet. It’s better than Ellen, but…” Atlanta tears up and wipes her eyes. “Sorry. We’re not here to talk about that. What can I do to help you trust me again, Ernest?”

“Yeah, look at where we are. I wouldn’t have tried to talk with you if I didn’t care about being friends anymore. I wouldn’t have been so angry in the first place if I didn’t care.” The cloud above Ernest’s head stops raining, and the arcs of lightning are much less frequent than before. “As for trust.. don’t lie to me anymore? Not that I expect you to tell me everything, but I need to know that you wouldn’t hide something this important from me. And maybe be a little more careful with your powers. I know it’s too much to ask you not to use them at all, but I’d feel better if I knew you were at least thinking about the potential consequences before Pocketing something.”

He shifts to the side, leaning one knee against the wall so that he can face Atlanta more easily. “I think it might just take some time, though. I used to just run away from people whenever we started having problems. And I’ll still do it if I don’t stop myself. Talking about stuff like this is harder, but I hope it’ll be worth it?”

Atlanta manages a smile and also turns to face Ernest. “I promise to not lie to you about anything important, but reserve the right to lie about little things like surprise birthday parties. Also I will continue to pretend to dislike finding mystery marshmallows in my food.” She smiles a little more sincerely at her joke before continuing. “I will try to be careful with my powers, Ernest. My problem is that I don’t know what the consequences could be, so it’s hard. I don’t know where things go or what happens to them when they’re there. But I promise to try. Hey, maybe we could set up a password so you’ll always know it’s me and not that reaper?”

She tucks a curl behind her ear. “And I’m glad you didn’t run this time. I also try to avoid conflict. It’s a big reason why I’m in this mess. Turning into lightning to avoid a conversation is something I’ve done a few times.” She half chuckles, half grimaces at that one. “But it’s okay if you need time. I get it.”

“Well, now that you’ve admitted you actually like them, I’m free to cover your food in marshmallows without breaking our truce.” The idea manages to bring a smile to Ernest’s face as well. “How about this as a password?” He makes the ASL sign for marshmallow.

He stands and stretches, the cloud fragmenting into white wisps as his hands pass through it. “I know that you said that Carm wasn’t quite ready for it, but I could kind of use a hug right now? And you look like you might too.”

Atlanta signs marshmallow back at him and also stands. “I could, yeah.”

Tentatively, she steps forward and wraps her arms around her much taller friend.

Ernest hugs Atlanta in return. She’s short enough that he can rest his chin on the top of her head. “You better enjoy your time as the taller sibling while you can,” he teases. “Jasper’s gonna catch up before you know it.”

“Ugh I know,” Atlanta pulls back. “Dad’s tall, so Jasper’s likely going to be. Why did I get the short end of the height genes?” After a second she makes a face of disgust at herself as she realizes what she said.

Ernest steps back as well, laughing at the unintentional pun. “Thanks again for showing up. Sorry that I kind of yelled at you there for a bit. I’m still working on it. But I’ll see you around?”

“It’s okay, I kinda deserved it. And yeah. Still up for our lesson next week?”

***Yeah, I’ll be there,*** Ernest signs. ***Bye, Atlanta/Verve.*** He uses both of her sign names in quick succession.

Atlanta grins. ***Good. You have to keep practicing if you’re going to come up with more culinary abominations with Jasper. Bye, Ernest.*** She makes sure to use his new sign name, then waves as she heads out.

As she walks away, she smiles. That went much better than she’d hoped.

While Atlanta leaves, Ernest leans back against the wall of the alley. He pulls out his phone, opening his text conversation with Melody. The last message from her is timestamped a couple of days ago, without a response.

He still has some work left to do about not running away.