Pamela Anderson

> **"Pamela Anderson"** (written by E. Kaspbrak) is the first hit single released by Shark Puppy in anticipation of their upcoming album *Hindsight (2020)*. The song describes Kaspbrak’s youth and his experiences growing up with internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality. Despite being Shark Puppy’s latest release, Pamela Anderson was in fact written in 2003 following the death of Kaspbrak’s mother, and was shelved by the band until his public coming out in 2018.
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"Pamela Anderson" is a song about expectations vs. realities. The expectation of your mother that you will follow her harsh rules compared to the reality that you break them in subtle ways, securing your freedom in any way you can. The expectation of the world that little boys grow up to want to marry women like Pamela Anderson compared to the reality that you can’t get him out of your mind. The expectation of yourself that you’ll grow up to please everyone compared to the reality that pleasing everyone else means leaving your own desires behind.

## Single Announcement

"Coming Soon: Shark Puppy’s Eddie Kaspbrak returns as a lead songwriter on their new single 'Pamela Anderson,' with this apparent childhood letter as the album cover. Fans reactions to the image are varied, some zeroing in on the childhood friendship between Kaspbrak and his bandmate Richie Tozier, others questioning what the eponymous 'It' refers to. But under it all everyone is ignoring the inevitable query: why did the out gay musician tell himself to marry someone like Pamela Anderson?"

## Lyrics

Rainy day, pull those big boots on

Red raincoat with the little ladybugs

Go out with your friends, but don't tell Mom

That you splashed in those puddles of mud

Take the long way home, rinse off that stain

Let the rain fall over you 'til you're clean

So when you get home, she can't complain

All you wanted is for her to be happy

The future is so big and oh so bright

You dream it up, that story, every night

And one day, you hope, you'll marry Pamela Anderson

Isn't that what the big boys want?

And isn't she so fucking hot?

And you'll wake up in the morning next to her and think

"This is the life I want

God, I'm so happy that I won"

Sunny now, put on that sunscreen

Remember the nose or you'll be peeling

Go out to the quarry, but don't tell mom

Because those cliffs would send her reeling

Ride your bike home, steady and slow

Watch the road and avoid the empty cracks

Oh, to you, the worst thing in the world

Is the idea of breaking Mommy's back

The future is so big and oh so bright

You dream it up, that story, every night

And one day, you hope, you'll marry Pamela Anderson

Isn't that what big boys want?

And isn't she so fucking hot?

And you'll wake up in the morning next to her and think

"This is the life I want

God, I'm so happy that I won"

But on winter days, sometimes, when it snows

When you spot him in that big blue coat

His face turned red and his hair crystals

You think to yourself, is this worth the cold?

But no, no, no

And one day, you hope, you'll marry Pamela Anderson

Isn't that what big boys want?

And isn't she so fucking hot?

And you'll wake up in the morning next to her and think

"This is the life I want

God, I'm so happy that I won"

"This is the life I want

This is the life I want

This is the life I want

God, I'm so happy that I won"

"Is this the life I want?

Is this the life I want?

Is this the life I want?"

## References

1. ↑ Summary attributed to Lauren, mod on the @sharkpuppymusic Tumblr and Twitter.
2. ↑ Original single post from the @sharkpuppymusic Tumblr.
3. ↑ Post attributed to Erica, mod on the @sharkpuppymusic Tumblr.