Eat My Dust!

**Eat My Dust!** is the second episode of The Super Wario Bros. Wah-wah Show!

## About

There is still plenty of dust around the house. Just when it seemed like another cleaning day, an unexpected guest helps out the brothers.

## Cast

### **X-Men**

* Wario
* Waluigi

## Script

### **Scene 1: The Dust Cannibal**

Two days since the party incident from last episode, **WARIO** wakes up to another day of cleaning, as there's dust still all over the house. He sees **WALUIGI** in the living room, cowering in fear at the sight of a very, very dusty man.

> **WARIO:** The hell is that?
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> **WALUIGI:** A **DUST CANNIBAL**! *IT EATS DUST!*
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> **WARIO:** ...Okay?
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> **WALUIGI:** No, really! Look!
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The **DUST CANNIBAL** does some unintelligible mumbling, then it proceeds to consume all of the dust in the living room.

> **WARIO:** Woah! It's doing 4-hour work in about 15 seconds!
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> **WALUIGI:** It already cleaned up the kitchen! You think we should keep it until our house is dust-free?
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> **WARIO:** Definitely!
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### **Scene 2: Erratic Cleaning**

The **DUST CANNIBAL** has finished consuming the dust.

> **WARIO:** You're doing some good work around here, **DUST CANNIBAL**. Now, go clean the rest of the house while I eat breakfast.
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> **DUST CANNIBAL** *(Muffled)***:** Stop calling me that! My name is **MR. JENKINS**!
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> **WALUIGI:** Wait, what?
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> **DUST CANNIBAL** *(Muffled):* You ruffians! Is this how you thank a hard worker like me?!
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> **WARIO:** I don't understand a single word it's saying..
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> **WALUIGI:** I think it's angry because we called it a hard worker...or something.
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> **WARIO:** Well, *sor-ry!* Now get to work!
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**WARIO** shoves the **DUST CANNIBAL** out of the living room and proceeds to make himself some Toast in the now dustless kitchen. Meanwhile, the slightly miffed **DUST CANNIBAL** has begun to absorb all of the dust in the hallway, descending downstairs after leaving all the surfaces in the house sparkling with cleanliness.

> **WALUIGI:** You sure this is a good idea, **WARIO**? It's rather fast, what if it breaks something expensive?
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> **WARIO:** I'm sure it's got everything under control.
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Suddenly, a terrific clatter is heard from the bottom floor. A vacuum cleaner revs up as loud yelling and cursing can be heard as well.

> **WARIO:** That's my ultra expensive vacuum cleaner I'm hearing!
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> **WALUIGI:** Well, we better check out that racket, then.
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### **Scene 3: True Identity**

**WARIO** and **WALUIGI** go downstairs to see a vacuum cleaner attempting to suck in a now mostly dustless **MR. JENKINS**.

> **MR. JENKINS:** *Help me, you bastards!!*
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> **WALUIGI:** That's our neighbor?! We better save him!
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The two manage to save the old man from the grasp of the ultra expensive vacuum cleaner.

> **WARIO:** Be careful next time! That's super expensive!
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> **WALUIGI:** Wait, **MR. JENKINS**, you were the **DUST CANNIBAL** this entire time?
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> **MR. JENKINS:** Yes! I got dust all over myself cleaning those bookshelves!
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> **WARIO:** ..Wait, when did we call for a maid in the first place?
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> **MR. JENKINS:** Well, someone in the neighborhood did. Maybe I got the house number wrong.
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> **WALUIGI:** We'll go ahead and pay you anyways for your hard work. We desperately needed it.
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> **WARIO:** Hmm... I don't know, **WALUIGI**. This guy is pretty weird. I mean, he eats dust!
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> **WALUIGI:** You just don't want to pay him your precious money, I bet.
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> **MR. JENKINS:** You greedy man! I bet you'd dive into oncoming traffic just for a dime! ..I suppose I could put it on your tab.
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> **WARIO:** No idea what that means, but as long as the "tab" does not need me to put money in it, I'm good.
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> **MR. JENKINS:** Now wait just a second.
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> **WARIO:** Your work here is done, now get out of our house.
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> **MR. JENKINS:** I'll tell you what a goddamn tab is, alri-
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**WARIO** then throws **MR. JENKINS** up to the ceiling, crashing through the roof and sailing into the sky.

> **WALUIGI:** ..Was that really necessary, **WARIO**?
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> **WARIO:** No, but I know what *is* necessary; eating my god damn Toast that I haven't eaten yet! It's getting cold, and I didn't get that thing for free, you know!
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**WARIO** runs upstairs, as the screen fades to black.

## Trivia

* Mr. Jenkins survived after that attack. This, along with the fact that he eats dust no problem, supports the fact that he may not be quite as human as he looks.