Honto no Watashi

***"I will wait for you."***This article relates to an upcoming piece of media. If you'd like to help add to the article as more information is released, edit this page as needed.

## Song Information

### Released

March 26, 2021 (CD)
July 22, 2021 (MV)

### Lyrics and Composition

shito (lyrics, composition)
Gom (lyrics)

### Music

HoneyWorks (arrangement)
Oji (guitar)
Kousuke Higuchi (bass)
Keiki Uto (piano)
Leon Yuuki (drums)
Hiroaki Tsutsumi (strings and strings arrangement)
Kotoha (chorus, mona ver.)

### Sung by

Kotoha
Shiina Natsukawa

### Album

Kokuhaku Jikkou Iinkai FLYING SONGS: Aishiteru
#Namae Dake demo Oboetette Kudasai

### Links

**"Honto no Watashi"** is a character song for the *Confession Executive Committee* song series. It is a character song for mona.

The song made its commercial debut on the doujin album *Kokuhaku Jikkou Iinkai FLYING SONGS: Aishiteru* on March 26, 2021. This song serves as one of four character songs for mona on the album. A mona version appears on mona's first character album, *#Namae Dake demo Oboetette Kudasai*.

## Synopsis

The song concerns the real feelings and thoughts of Mona, as opposed to her in her relationships with Sena and as an idol.

## Lyrics

* Kanji
* Romaji
* English

本当の私 知らないくせに

分かったような笑顔見せないで

近くにいてもずっと一緒でも

理解もせずに内心うざがって

今日も無難に好かれるように

気づけばこんな嫌な奴になってた

本当の私を愛してくれる人はいるのかな？

ごめん良い子じゃなくて

ずるくて騙して壊れて

期待に応えられなくて

ごめん出来損ないで

弱くてダサくて腐って

萌ゆる葉 見せられなくて

それでも優しいのは何で？

家族と言えど異なる命

きっと全部は分かり合えないよ

嘘つく私 演じる私

誰が見たって嫌な奴で最低だ

本当の私を知ったらきっと捨てられちゃうかな？

ごめん良い子じゃなくて

妬んで当たって壊して

私で悩ませてしまって

ごめん出来損ないで

強がって粋がって

もらった心を汚してしまって

それでも優しいのは何で？

胸張れること今はまだないけれど

できたら喜んでくれるかな？Ah

ごめん可愛くなくて

見た目も性格も嫌いで

鏡も見たくないくらい

私に構わないで

離してほっといて

ぶつけた言ってはダメな言葉も

それでも温かいのは

ごめん良い子じゃなくて

ずるくて騙して壊れて

期待に応えられなくて

ごめん出来損ないで

弱くてダサくて腐って

萌ゆる葉 見せられなくて

それでも優しいのは何で？

どんな私も包んでくれる

とても大きな愛はありました

hontou no watashi shiranai kuse ni

wakatta you na egao misenai de

chikaku ni ite mo zutto issho demo

rikai mo sezu ni naishin uzagatte

kyou mo bunan ni sukareru you ni

kidzukeba konna iya na yatsu ni natteta

hontou no watashi wo ai shite kureru hito wa iru no kana?

gomen ii ko janakute

zurukute damashite kowarete

kitai ni kotaerarenakute

gomen dekisokonai de

yowakute dasakute kusatte

moyuruha miserarenakute

soredemo yasashii no wa nande?

kazoku to iedo kotonaru inochi

kitto zenbu wa wakariaenai yo

usotsuki watashi enjiru watashi

dare ga mitatte iya na yatsu de saitei da

hontou no watashi wo shittara kitto suterarechau kana?

gomen ii ko janakute

netande atatte kowashite

watashi de nayamasete shimatte

gomen dekisokonai de

tsuyogatte ikigatte

moratta kokoro wo yogoshite shimatte

soredemo yasashii no wa nande?

mune hareru koto ima wa mada nai keredo

dekitara yorokonde kureru kana? ah

gomen kawaikunakute

mitame mo seikaku mo kirai de

kagami mo mitakunai kurai

watashi ni kamawanai de

hanashite hottoite

butsuketa itte wa dame na kotoba mo

soredemo atatakai no wa

gomen ii ko janakute

zurukute damashite kowarete

kitai ni kotaerarenakute

gomen dekisokonaide

yowakute dasakute kusatte

moyuruha miserarenakute

sorodemo yasashii no wa nande?

donna watashi mo tsutsunde kureru

tottemo ookina ai wa arimashita

 Even though you don’t know the real me at all

Don’t give me that smile as if you understand me

Even if we’re close

Even if we’ve always been together

Without understanding you, I was secretly feeling annoyed

Today too, I’m trying to be safely liked

And before I knew it, I had become such a nasty person

Is there someone out there who will love me for who I really am?

I’m sorry, I’m not a good girl

I’m cunning, I’m deceitful, I’m broken

I can’t live up to anyone’s expectations

I’m sorry for being a failure

I’m weak, I’m lame, and I’m rotten

I couldn’t become the sprouting leaf you wanted me to be (\*)

But despite all that,

You’re still being kind to me

Why?

Even if we’re a family, we’re living different lives

I’m sure we can’t understand everything

The me who tell lies, and the me who put on an act

Whoever saw me would think I’m a nasty person and just the worst

If you knew the real me, would you abandon me?

I’m sorry, I’m not a good girl

I envy you, I attack you, and I hurt you

I caused so much trouble for you

I’m sorry for being a failure

Trying to act all strong and smart

I’ve tainted this heart that was given to me

But despite all that,

You’re still being kind to me

Why?

I don’t have anything to be proud of right now

But, would you be happy when I do have one someday?

Ah…

I’m sorry, I’m not cute

Both my looks and my personality, I hate them

I don’t even want to look at myself in the mirror

Don’t mind me!

Let go of me, just leave me be!

I even threw words that I shouldn’t have said at you

But despite all that,

This warmth is…

I’m sorry, I’m not a good girl

I’m cunning, I’m deceitful, I’m broken

I can’t live up to anyone’s expectations

I’m sorry for being a failure

I’m weak, I’m lame, and I’m rotten

I couldn’t become the sprouting leaf you wanted me to be

But despite all that,

You’re still being kind to me

Why?

There was a very big love

That wrapped itself around every part of me

English translation by Haru and Michiko