The Bad Bean Boys (Episode 1)

**The Bad Bean Boys Episode 1** is the first episode from Group One of The Spectral Index side series.

## The Bad Bean Boys (Episode 1)

### **Synopsis**

**Pre-Show Shenanigans**

* Darrin introduces himself, mentions that this campaign is a bit of fun, and that the guests are for nonsense and "a trip and a half"!
* Darrin introduces the first of his three special guests from the TTRPG Twitter community taking part in this side story who can all be found on twitter
	+ **@OrkFromMork** who can be found on twitter interacting with others on the TTRPG community, playing as **Kami** - Halfling, Swashbuckler Rogue / Echo Knight Fighter
	+ **@LovecraftDnD** **(Sam)** the dm from "Live, Laugh, Lovecraft", playing as **Flint Eatswood** - Goblin, College of Swords Bard / Gunslinger
	+ **@tasty\_doom** **(Kyle)** the dm from the "TastyDoomPodcast", playing as **Quil** - Tabaxi, Gloom Stalker Conclave Ranger

### **Show**

The setting began in the city of Waterdeep where it was a dreary afternoon, with rain pouring down, drifting over the city. The view passed from the Red District over to the Bread District where exists the small bakery, made famous for selling toast on beans, but also acting as the headquarters of The Bad Bean Boys, famously known as the group who destroyed the earth elementals that brought the bean famine to Waterdeep, bringing back the farmlands and bringing beans back from extinction. Underneath the bakery, The Bad Bean boys are seen at their separate tasks, with Quil behind the counter counting the numerous beans and separating them into their individual bean types, Flint discussing the idea of adding a 6th bean to their tin of five bean variety baked beans and wandering around their factory trying to find a 6th bean to, and Kami preparing his practised verbal assault on customers why toast on beans should be their meal everyday, all day, as many meals as there are beans in the baked beans, while also discussing the idea of seeking an alchemist to make a beans liquor to sell along their toast of beans.

A knock was heard from the upstairs door and a voice telling them there was a letter for them. Flint suggested it could be a new kind of bean, while Quil suggested to see what they had for them. Flint and Quil started to make their way to their upstairs bakery, greeted by the sight of customers eating toast on beans, and their half elf counter girl Chilla, holding a pressed purple letter with a golden seal upon it, saying someone had delivered it not long ago and needed to go to the bean boys. With Flint mentioning that he was illiterate, Kami took the letter instructing Chilla to return to her duties. As she started to return her duties Flint mentioned that she was deserving of a raise and took out a *Bottle* from his waist, whispered *"Stream of Beans"* causing a gallon of beans to come forth and handed them to Chilla, who accepted them happily before returning to her duties. Kami opened the letter and in very fine gold handwriting reading

*"To the Bad Bean Boys, I'd like you to come to my estate in the north end of Waterdeep. I have a job I need you to do. In your efforts to save us from the bean famine, I figured you could do me some help as well."*

An address was found on the letter along with the name Zelos Sephir, which Kami informed his associates of the letter's contents. They took some pre-packaged toast on beans for the road as the made their way to the written address, only to be greeted by the estate which though still intact, appeared to be kind of old and a little run down. They walked passed the gate to the front door seeing the front door knocker in the form of a fine silvered astral dreadknought face with a hanger sitting out of the mouth. Quil being the only one tall enough grabbed and released the knocker to gain attention from the resident inside. They were greeted by a halfling who immediately asked what they wanted. Kami replied about receiving a letter, holding the letter in his hand the halfling in turn acknowledged they were wishing to see his boss. Quil pointed out the state of the property, which the halfling replied they were low on funds at the moment and the hardship of being a grounds keeper for his boss. Flint offered that they always needed bean counters. The halfling asked how much they paid, and Flint replied they paid in beans. The halfling a little confused, decided it would be better then his current job and accepted. Flint informed him where he would need to go and his job there, and the halfling quickly led them to the sitting room in the house before announcing he quit. Flint quickly gave him a handful of shelled peas as a down payment and Kami gave him a gold coin for a uniform, with no pockets to avoid bean theft, and started to leave while Flint discussed the idea of the peas being their 6th bean.

An old, old individual with a white moustache and beard, Zelos Sephir, bemoaned the loss of his butler and Kami responded he should have paid him in beans. Zelos in turned replied they didn't pay him at all before checking if they were the Bad Bean Boys and praising their efforts with the bean famine and acknowledging they were probably the only ones who could do the task he needed to be done. Zelos spoke how in his time he was an adventurer, but was too old at this point and needed them to do something for him and would pay handsomely. Zelos needed them to retrieve something important so he could return it to Candlekeep. When asked what what they needed to find, Zelos spoke how in his time he travelled the Astral Sea and was in possession of a book from Candlekeep called *The Spectral Index*, which he lost in a 'very interesting place', never had the chance to get it back, that it was no longer viable for him to do so at his age, and therefore to pay illustrious heroes like them to retrieve it for him. Flint asked if reading would be required as he wasn't literate, which Zelos stated his assumption that his associates were so it wouldn't be an issue. He continued to say that *The Spectral Index* was lost in a place called the Astral Spire, a rocky created castle floating on a chunk of a dead God in the Astral Sea, filled with traps, and weird doings. He described it as a very strange place, but not harmful, and that he lost the *Astral Index* somewhere in there many years ago.

On hearing this Flint brought up a story he heard as a boy from his goblin brother about a giant who lived on a beanstalk who collected books for their spire, questioning if they were the same one. Quil suggested it could be, but as long as it led to an adventure he could be counted on for it, and Flint agreed. Zelos offered as a bonus for Flint the probability of getting trade in from Callumshire to get some excess beans that they might not have of a more exotic nature. Flint asked if they had the elusive 6th bean, and Zelos replied more then the 6th, that there were many beans that didn't exist in Waterdeep. Quil asked how they would get to their needed location. Zelos replied if they were ready they could make their way now. They all replied that they were ready, with Flint especially as he pulled out his revolver, inscribed with the names every bean he consumed, some examples being "Dixie" and "Jolene". Zelos made a single request for them to not vomit on his floor, and on agreement asked for everyone to hold hands as Zelos cast *Plane Shift*, with Flint apologising as the three immediately started vomiting from the sensation, right before being pulled through a portal and landing on what felt like rock.

They saw strange colors surrounding them, and looking down saw they were standing on a preserved eyeball of a giant head, floating in space. As Quil taking a second to compose himself, Zelos exclaimed that they were her for that, while he pointed towards a stone building coming out of the forehead, with several pillars coming off in angles raising out into the sky, at least a good five pillars until it reaches the top, and stated the book was in there. After Flint asked any advances on just 'there' while pointing to the pillars, Zelos noted he lost it roughly about the 3rd floor. Quil and Zelos pointed out the pillar in question after Flint admitted to not being numerate. Zelos reiterated that it was roughly the 3rd floor, but also noted the place was interesting and it might have moved around. He also warned to be careful as things could come out of nowhere, the walls span and hallways turned upside down. Quil confidently stated the bad bean boys could handle it and would retrieve his book, and Zelos replied it wasn't his book, but that he borrowed it from the library and needed to avoid late fees. When asked how many decades the book had been there, Zelos replied at least four and that it would be an already hefty fee as is. Zelos informed them he would wait for them in the current spot for their return, then magically created an armchair and some wine to bide his time and after getting himself comfortable wished them good luck.

Flint asked which of them would be going first, and Quil replied he could check it out. Kami in turn noted they should make sure it was safe as they started to make their way. When they were close enough they noted that because they were in the Astral Sea, they could either walk or use their intelligence to float. Quil quietly made his way to the large stone doors, noting them to be 30 - 40 feet tall and 10 feet across, and also saw the doors were cracked enough that people could make their way through due to their size. Quil poked his head and saw a lit hallway about 60 feet long, 20 feet across and 20 feet high, with nothing out of the ordinary. Quil gave a sign for the other two to make their way and all stepped into the hallway. Quil quietly attempted to make his way looking for any corridors or stairs coming off the hallway, but soon after heard a click, and felt the five foot section of the hallway he was in did a full 360 rotation and nearly fell prone, but managed to land on all fours with his tabaxi reflexes. Quil immediately noted to the others that this was what Zelos referred to when he said things could change and urged the others to be careful. Quil had a quick search for traps and noted at certain points in the hallway there were curves in the walls, which he assumed would be when the hallway would do something weird, though he was unsure how to stop it. Seeing that Kami wished to attempt to disable the trap, Flint moved to his ear and gave *Bardic Inspiration* to him

*"Jo-bean, Jo-bean, Jo-bean, Jo-beannnn...I'm beggin ya, please don't take my plans"*

Kami successfully managed to disable the trap, with the unintended effect of causing the hallway to un-shift itself and swing back and forth. Noting the change, they decided to float for a little more ease, even if it would be a little slower progress. They made their way through most of the hallway before Kami checked for any more traps, and noted out strings that ran above the length of the hallway to the top. Flint pulled out his revolver suggesting triggering the trap from a distance away and Quil in agreement pulled out his *Dragon's Reach Crossbow*. They retreated back putting some distance before the two both took shot, firing bullets and mini fireballs respectively, burning up the strings, causing a clicking sound as five diameter circle above the door popped open and sprayed water into the room, which threw Flint and Quil back to the door. After shaking off the water, they continued floating through the hallway to the door, and found it to be locked with three knobs on it, one on top, one in the middle and one near the bottom. Flint took hold of the one near the bottom, Quil took the one in the middle and Kami, sitting on Quil's shoulder, took the top one, and opened them at the same time to reveal a rock wall. Flint inhaled, while holding his revolver, and with a loud *"JO-BEANNNNN!!"* cast *Thunderwave* on the wall, causing the wall to crack, be pushed away and after being pushed the parts that were cracked crumpled inwards and were sucked away.

With the wall gone they could now see three separate colored portals where each knob was. Flint suggested placing a bean through each of the portals to see what would happen, which the others agreed to. After getting the all clear to, Flint did as such and the beans disappeared. After some discussion, they took the bottom handle and went their way through, finding a room 20 x 20 feet, with 16 tiles in the room taking up five x five feet squares, each with an identical flaming fist on them. Flint took out a dagger and dropped it onto the nearest tile, seemingly with no effect. Flint stepped on to it, seemingly with no effect still, picked up his dagger, dropped it on the tile in front of him, causing the tile and dagger to disappear. After a few seconds the dagger appeared above his head falling to the ground as he stepped aside to avoid it, and deciding that daggers were a little too dangerous took out a small white kidney bean from his bean pouch. Noting that Quil had longer arms, Flint handed the beans and pouch to him as he took the lead. Quil dropped the bean on one of the tiles that caused it to disappear, then reappear on another of the tiles, which also disappeared, continuing over and over in different spots before Quil snagged the bean before it's next drop, and suggested to the others not to fall as they would be in free fall a long time. Kami quickly asked Flint if he could reach into his bean bag, and after getting a yes grabbed a handful of beans, scattered them through the room. While some stopped on tiles that remained, others landed on tiles that disappeared and reappeared in different portions of the room without stopping, and while they now had a definite path to follow, would not be easy due to the falling beans, which were gaining speed as they fell. Kami took out his *Bag of Holding*, took a blanket out, allowed Flint and Quil to get inside the bag. While inside, Flint took out his *Decanter Of Endless Beans* for a prank, and whispered *"Fountain"* causing five gallons of baked beans to appear in the *Bag of Holding* reaching up to their ankles. With the others inside, Kami covered himself with his blanket and took the safe path across relatively safely to the door only to find it locked. Kami managed to pick it with his *Thieves Tools* and made his way into another hallway, while behind him was the sounds of the falling beans which had now broken the sound barrier.

Kami opened his *Bag of Holding* allowed the others, now covered in beans from the ankles down, to emerge from it, and then emptied out the five gallon of baked beans on the floor. They looked in the hallway immediately seeing the notable traps ranging from blades in the ceiling, arrow holes on the sides of the wall and others. Noting the urgency to get across quickly they each chose their own ways to get across as fast as the could. Quil activated his *Feline Agility* to double his speed briefly and dashed across with ease, while Flint attempted to keep up, firing from his revolver at one of the traps activate his *Blade Flourish* to increase his movement a little, but not enough as a blade dropped in front of him, and knocked him on the floor leaving him *Prone*. Seeing this Quil reached out with no luck, but pushing off the ground and using Quil, Flint managed to get to the other side, barely avoiding a blade that cut the back end of his coat in half, causing beans to fall to the floor. Though upset, Flint thanked Quil with the gift of single white kidney bean in appreciation, who accepted it. Kami, who stayed behind to observe, took a second to observe the patterns and movements of the traps before noticing little eyelid in the back opening and closing, and with Flint's *Bardic Inspiration* from earlier made his way, accidentally tackling Quil in the gut in the process. They look behind to see the traps still going off, along with the falling beans that had started to turn to paste while falling repeatedly.

In front of them they saw an arch way leading to a large 60 feet diameter circular room, lit with torches and three doors, positioned North, West and East, with them having come through the South door, and a nice oversized chandelier hanging from the ceiling about 20 - 30 feet above and swinging in place. Kami noticed the swinging, and also noted that there was no wind causing it. Flint cast *Dancing Lights* making the room super bright as he caused the lights to circle the chandelier. With the group noting that something was going on, Flint took two black eyes peas placing them on his palms and singing out *"Black Eyes"* cast *Faerie Fire*, and the chandelier is seemingly affected by it. Claiming it to be safe Flint walked into the room, with Quil following. Kami stopped and noting the direction the chandelier swung from left to right, followed after suggesting to go the back door, which the chandelier didn't swing towards. While walking they heard a clink sound as the chandelier fell, and instead of shattering, it turned into a blob. Flint and Quil were able to get out of it's way, but Kami found himself attached and grappled by the blob.

Roll for Initiative **as that is where we leave Episode 1!**

1. ↑ a magical item called a "Decanter of Endless Water", but instead of water, this one produces beans lol