History of Gielinor

The history of Gielinor is long and violent. Nothing but wars after wars. But what else can you expect from a bunch of fucked up creatures and gods?

## Zeroth (0th) Age

The 0th Age began after the elder god Karambwan created Gielinor. 0th Age lasted 7300 years and was fairly peaceful, as Karambwan still interfered with the direction the world was heading. Quite little is known about the 0th Age, but it's assumed that very little even happened back then.

#### Year 0

* Gielinor was created and the Calendar begins. The first humans live in Karamja, in the Kharazi Jungle. Elves and gnomes establish their first settlements in the area which is now known as Ardougne. Dwarves live in caves near Falador. The first goblins live on the riverbanks of River Lum.

#### Year 100

* First humans spend their days eating berries and dead birds. Gnomes and elves mostly just argue with each other. Dwarves try to get attention from each other by making shitty cave paintings, and making a copy of the same picture on the wall of every cave. A goblin spontaneously catches on fire, and Firemaking is invented.

#### Year 200

* Humans find strange stones lying around and throw them on a strange altar nearby, turning the stones into nature runes, inventing Runecraft. Not knowning what they are or do, the humans begin to just eat them. Gnomes try smoking ranarr, leading to severe hallucinations and the invention of Herblore. Elves discover clay.

* A goblin steals a rock from another goblin, inventing the skill of Thieving.

* The other goblin becomes angry and punches the thief, inventing Strength.

#### Year 300

* Humans begin to form tribes, and rival tribes have to fight for resources. The skills of Attack, Defence and Hitpoints are invented during the tribal wars. Gnomes and elves build their first huts from clay and Construction is invented. Dwarves dig their first homes using sharp rocks, and the skill of Mining is born. Meanwhile goblins run around chasing frogs, inventing the Hunter skill.

#### Year 500

* Humans spread into the northern parts of Karamja, where they accidentally catch a shrimp and invent Fishing. Humans also invent Woodcutting, and the bald men of the tribe begin to chop trees. Trading sticks are also invented, which become the first ever currency on Gielinor. Gnomes mould the first empty pot, inventing Crafting. Dwarves show first signs of a religion forming. Goblins learn that drowning into River Lum is not healthy, and should be avoided.

* Elves start throwing rocks at each other and the Ranged skill is invented. Stoning each other to death becomes a popular spare time sport.

#### Year 700

* Humans build their first boats from bamboo, and the Sailing skill is invented. Gnomes and elves build their first stone temples. Some gnomes migrate to Yanille. Dwarves begin to worship rocks and invent Prayer. Dwarves also establish a colony under the Ice Mountain. Goblins have forgot what they learned last time, and are drowning in the river again.

* Elves accidentally invent Agility when a mentally disabled elf child decides to start running in circles.

#### Year 900

* Humans sail to Rimmington and start colonising the area. Gnomes finally invent sex and the first gnome child is born. Elves discover crystals and craft them into buttplugs. Dwarves invent the furnace and Smithing is invented. Dwarves now begin to worship bars instead of rocks. Goblins are now drowning in the sand of Al Kharid.

* Elven ranged technology advances, and during the creation of the first bows, they invent Fletching.

#### Year 1000

* Humans migrate to Port Sarim and compose the famous song Sea Shanty 2. The song is so magical that the humans finally learn how to use the runes to cast spells, inventing Magic.

#### Year 1300

* Humans have spread to Lumbridge and are trying to get rid of the goblins. Gnomes invent Farming, and plant the first spirit trees. Elves are crafting tools from crystal. White Wolf Mountain becomes inhabited by dwarves. Goblins are now drowning in water-filled buckets that the humans have left lying around.

#### Year 1500

* The humans living in Al Kharid make their first kebab, which is the birth of the Cooking skill.

#### Year 1600

* Humans and dwarves join forces and begin building a massive city of white stone. Gnomes start building their houses on trees, and the elves start building from crystal. Most of the goblins have accidentally killed themselves, and the last surviving ones are retreating north and into caves.

#### Year 1800

* A goblin somehow manages to strangle a banshee, inventing the Slayer skill. The dwarves invent the Redberry pie, whose legacy still endures.

#### Year 1900

* Falador has become the most advanced city on Gielinor, with humans and dwarves living in harmony. First coins are forged from gold, and an advanced economy is established. Gnomes invent gnome cooking and begin to put all kinds of retarded things in the oven, such as worms and frogs.

#### Year 4200

* Falador has become a true capitalism and the wealth gaps are widening. The city of Menaphos is established. Dwarves discover mithril and adamantite. Gnomes stop eating amanita after realising it doesn't belong in a pizza. Goblins have begun to colonise the area which is now known as the Wilderness.

#### Year 5500

* Life in Falador is unstable, as the prices of most resources change rapidly, and also severe inequality has become a problem. Varrock starts to grow. Dwarven expeditions arrive near Rellekka. Gnomes get inspiration from the retarded elves and build their first agility course near the Baxtorian Falls. Elves are sending expeditions into the mountains in the west. Goblins accidentally invent gunpowder after trying to make bread.

#### Year 6900

* Falador has begun to crumble into pieces as the government can no longer afford to repair the walls, which is the result of nobody paying any taxes. Menaphos supersedes Falador as the wealthiest city. Elves finish building Prifddinas. Gnomes plant the Grand Tree. Goblins craft their first spears from burnt lobsters.

#### Year 7300

* The elder god Karambwan leaves Gielinor, and the vacuum is quickly filled by the evil counterforce Karambwanji. The balance is lost, the world drifts into chaos, and the peaceful 0th Era ends.

## First (1st) Age

First Age was a violent era of great wars. Also the newer gods were born during this age. The last 100 years of first age were known as the Gielinorian War I. First Age began after Karambwan left Gielinor. The First Age lasted 666 years.

#### Year 0

* Gielinor descends to chaos. Without Karambwan guarding the balance, the demons, imps, fire giants, dark beasts, PKers and cave slimes are released from their underground prisons, allowing them to roam freely around Gielinor and cause havoc and chaos.

#### Year 10

* Weapon technology advances quickly due to the constant attacks by evil creatures. First weapons are simple clubs and warhammers. Wind strike is invented.

#### Year 420

* Bandos is born from the ass of a mutant goblin.

## Second (2nd) Age

Second Age was an era of rebuilding and new inventions. A fairly peaceful age, although the first modern armies were established during it. The end of the Second Age is often referred to as the Golden Age, whose abundance abruptly ended when the brutal God Wars began. The Second Age began after the Gielinorian War I. The Second Age lasted 690 years.

## Third (3rd) Age

Third Age was the bloodiest age in the history of Gielinor. It is famous for its God Wars, also known as the Gielinorian War II. The Third Age began when Zamorak sexually assaulted Saradomin. The Third Age lasted 420 years.

## Fourth (4th) Age

Fourth Age was an age of great changes, and it sculpted Gielinor into what it is today. Remarkable events include: The Goblin Apocalypse, The Night of the Karambwans, The Collapse of the Great Wall of Draynor, and The Beverage Wars. Fourth Age began after dwarves ran out of cannonballs. Zamorak also ran out of balls when Saradomin kicked him in the crotch with a spiked runite boot. This finally calmed Saradomin and the God Wars ended. Fourth Age lasted for 500 years.

## Fifth (5th) Age

Fifth Age is the current age of Gielinor. It has only lasted for 65 years so far, therefore not much has happened. Fifth Age began when Karim's grandfather, Ali the Spicy, invented Super Kebab.