Parb Family

> "*There are more twists, turns and shortcuts in our family tree than in the streets of Yharnum*"
> ― Trevor
>
>

### Members

Trevor, Sean, Gay Aizen, Josh, Anthony, Marissa, Quill, Cole, Donut

The Parb family is a dynasty of unique and powerful beings who have meddled with and controlled the politics of Dekadian Earth since its early history. They are known also for their complicated history with incest and for being reoccurring contestants on Family Feud.

## Members

Due to a long history of infighting and inbreeding, membership of the family can be difficult to track. The current accepted list of family members is as follows:

* Trevor: Grand-Patriarch. An organic/machine hybrid. Introduced Cybertronian genetics to the family
* Sean: Brother of Trevor. Though he is clearly not of the same origin, Trevor has claimed him as a brother.
* Gay Aizen: Disowned. The first son of Trevor
* Josh: The second son of Trevor. Mother of Marissa, Father of Quill, and Donut. Adoptive father of Cole
* Anthony: Third son of Trevor
* Marissa: Wife and Daughter of Josh, Mother of Quill and adoptive mother of Cole
* Quill: Son of Josh and Marissa. Brother of Donut and adoptive brother of Cole
* Cole: Birth-son of Trevor, adoptive son of Marissa and Josh. adoptive brother of Quill and Donut
* Donut: Daughter of Josh and Merry. Sister of Quill and adoptive sister of Cole

### Former Members

Due to separating relationships, certain entities are no longer treated as members of the Parb Family

* Thomas: Former spouse of Anthony.
* John Cena: Former lover of Josh. Father of Marissa

### Related Entities

Entities related to the Parb Family but have not taken the name as well as Parb-adjacent entities.

* Megatron (BW): Trevor's genetic mother
* Megatron (BW Alternate): Trevor's genetic father
* Trevor's dead lovers: 7 in total. Trevor won't divulge their names
* Merry: Trevor's good half. Technically is Trevor and thus is also equally related in the same ways
* Shadow Sean: A shadow alternate of Sean.
* Shadow Cole: A shadow alternate of Cole. Since Cole left the Dekadian Universe, he has replaced Cole
* Becky P. Sucrose: Dark Mother of Trevor. The creator of Merry and the Dark Lord named Trevor
* Entities created by Merry's Pregnomancy

### Family Tree

> "*Yikes. I'll try my best*"
> ― page author
>
>

   The main issues with the family tree come from the Josh/Marissa pairing as well as the birth of Cole and the origins of Donut.

Strap in.

Josh as an adaptable machine with semi-organic interfaces is capable of representing himself as biologically male or female. At the time of Marissa's conception, he chose female. He paired with Wrestler John Cena and Marissa was born from Josh. However as most members of the Parb family are biologically immortal, Josh and Marissa would one day meet after Marissa had grown. When Josh and Marissa married, Josh was a male, thus allowing him to impregnate Marissa with the boy who would become Quill. As such, Josh is Marissa's mother as well as Quill's Father and Grandmother.. Marissa is Quill's mother and sister.

Cole is another bag of worms. Cole is biologically Trevor's son. This is strange as Trevor never was able to impregnate a human woman before her untimely death. Due to Cole's part Cybertronian, part human, part trash biology it is assumed that Trevor's genetic material somehow was captured by a part human/part trash hybrid that birthed Cole. No such creature has ever been discovered and it is believed that Cole's birth is a time-space anomaly. Cole has been adopted by Marissa and Josh (see all the yikes above) making his true Father his Grandfather and Great-Grandfather.

Finally, the newest member of the Parb Family, Donut is the daughter of Josh. The mother was in question for some time before research determined her to be the biological daughter of Merry. This once again gums up the works. Merry is technically the same person as Trevor, just his good half. As such they share the same biology. Thus Trevor is as much Donut's mother as Merry is. Merry is also equally related to the rest of Trevor's progeny. Trevor/Merry is Donut's Mother as well as her adoptive Great-Grandfather/Grandfather while all the above nonsense also applies.

The moral of this tale is that any branch that terminates off the main b̶r̶a̶n̶c̶h̶ Circle is the best possible outcome.

## History

In the early formative period of the Dekadian universe, two versions of Megatron (BW) entered the universe from the Transformers Universe. The plotted to create a protoform between them to serve as an ultimate weapon. Trevor was born from this process. Seeming weaker than the two Predacons had anticipated they abandoned him on a rocky world that would one day become Earth. Sometime following this, Trevor would meet with Sean and the two would form an enduring brotherhood.

Late in Trevor's life, following many failed relationships (That failed due to death of the women) Trevor resolved to use his power to create the world's new defenders. Starting with a prototype model, Gay Aizen. Deeming his project a success, Trevor intended to recycle Gay Aizen to use his priceless Pepsium in a newer, better model. Fearing his death ,Gay Aizen fled. Trevor continued his work, though mental stress had begun to build up. Fearing his turn away from the side of good, Trevor's resolve to create the world's defender only increased. Josh was built though before Trevor could enact his plan, Josh left, citing his father's "Shit taste."

Emotionally broken but with his resolve intact, Trevor completed his last robotic son, Anthony. Anthony remained with his father but developed a somewhat skewed sense of justice and would later Elope with Thomas. Josh around this time had met with the Pro-wrestler, John Cena who was visiting Earth from Other World. Josh and Cena had a child together named Marissa. John Cena ultimately had to return to Other World, leaving Josh distraught. Josh left the baby on Trevor's doorstep to pursue his lover. Trevor raised Marissa, hoping that unlike his other children, she wouldn't leave. Marissa did leave however only to elope with Josh.

Quill was born only a short time before the mysterious appearance of Cole. The two were raised as brothers by Marissa. Merry was created around this time from The Dark Lords Ritual that ascended Trevor.

Sometime following the Hivemind War, Anthony divorced Thomas.

Following the Second Battle of the Elemental Plane of Christmas, Josh returned home with baby Donut, her origins not yet known.

## In Other Universes

Little is known of the family in other universes outside of Dekadia. In one world, a sub-universe known as the Elemental Plane of Gameshows, the main core of the Family participate in Family Feud for not known reasons. In another mysterious universe, the members of the Parb family are completely unrelated friends who shitpost and make memes that are eerily similar to the well established lore of Dekadia.

## Trivia

* According to Josh, the main reason why they participate on Family Feud is to earn enough money to buy the family out of Putin's "Ona-hole debt". None of the other family member's have commented on this however.
* Due to the power of the LORE it is impossible to escape the Family Tree once bred into it. Forcing Marissa to eternally be Josh's wife despite the schism in their marriage.
* The family tree is proof of the importance of abortion.
* The most common trait of members of the Parb Family is "Shit Taste" though it seems to skip a generation.
* Parb is not and will never be an actual surname. Where it actually came from and why people call this family that name is not clear.