Puss Plunderer

Death Ceiling: The Shrekoning

Victories: 0

##### Pre Death Ceiling -

An extraordinarily successful pirate, "Pro plunderer" had looted every last gold shilling in a 500 mile radius around the islands he originated from. But even all that gold couldn't keep his maiden around, no matter what material items he brought or bought, his performance in the bedroom was so poor, that it outweighed everything else. She told him that if he couldn't improve, she would have to leave him for someone that could satisfy her. Desperate, he brought his treasures to an old sea witch and begged for a spell to improve his performance in bed. The witch agreed, but warned that every spell requires a sacrifice, and this manner of spell came with the cost of his current lover leaving him forever. He immediately declined, and left in an outrage.

That night, his maiden told him that this would be his last chance to satisfy her, or else she would move on from him. He frantically tried everything he could, but he just couldn't do it. Stopping him from trying further, she told him that she would be leaving the next morning.

Utterly defeated, he left in the late of the night to the witch's hut with payment in hand, He paused for only a moment before opening the door, took one final look toward his home and entered the doorway. That morning he rose not as the Pro plunderer, but as the Puss plunderer, and lay with every female in town.

##### Season 3 -

He now voyaged not for treasure, but for women. His crew eventually quit on him, jealous, for any lady that came aboard their ship cared only for the plunderer, and no other. His solo travels eventually landed him in a place far far away, where he faced his greatest lay yet: an ogress milf of royal descent named Fiona.

Many women had loved him, but never had he truly loved them back until her. After a successful swoon, he eventually learned about her divorced husband: another ogre whos love of a game show tore him from his friends and family. Wanting to get revenge for his new lover he wanted to know more. He learned his name was Shrek and the game show was Death Ceiling. Being told that it was the only way to see him, Puss plunderer waited for the next season to start and grabbed a place to face the man who broke his lovers heart.

Sam offered Puss Plunderer a spot on his rep team for Death Ceiling: Who Will Be the One, but respectfully declined, preferring to wait until Shrek was competing. Sam told him however, that he knew a way to lure Shrek back into the ring: the long dead Lord Farquaad. If he could sail them to the waterfall where Lord Farquaad's soul was slain, Toke could use his knowledge of the afterlife to summon him, Joker could take them to a Lazarus pit to revive him, and Wario's riches can cover any expenses needed. "And I can B-ball pretty hard" Shaq told him. It was time to set sail.

He couldn't do it, Shrek was stronger than he or Fiona thought. Though he couldn't best him in the ring, he still had Fiona, so back to their home he went. But Fiona wasn't there, instead, there was a note on the bed: "I thought I hated him for his obsession, but seeing him want to get back together after winning, reignited our passion, goodbye". Dejected, Puss Plunderer went to Lord Farquaad, hoping to learn how to cope with Fiona's rejection.