A Hallowe'en Carol

By fffffplayer1

Originally posted: ‎11-02-2014

I know I said I was going to make a "Adventures of the Peculiar Enchanter", but the idea of Hallowe'en inspired me and I thought I should post this now that is still contemporary (and only slightly late ) Enjoy!

***A Hallowe’en Carol***

thedude was in his cold, dark and slightly humid immense castle. He was reading out of his personal edition of “Fairy Tales of thedude’s Empire” or as it was written in that particular copy “Pherriez Deillses av teh Imbair eff thedude”. It was a book that contained all sorts of fairy tales like: Beauty and thedude, the Red Mythran Hood, the three little Rogues and the Big Bad Knight, Cinderbarney, Snowhite and the seven Barney Bots and Sleeping Vladek. That wonderful piece of propaganda had been spread all over the Kingdom, so that everyone could read it.

So, as thedude was reading one of the stories from that gigantic book, in that cold cloudy night, he didn’t expect someone to pop up from behind him and start talking. But that’s exactly what happened!

“thedude!!! Beware for this is a warning!!! You have passed your whole life trying to conquer the Universe! So did I and now I am paying it after my smash! Three Ghosts are going to visit you! You’d better listen to them or pay it as well!!! And remember that, thedude, we should all be friends!” said an eerie, but still silly voice.

After the first frighten, thedude looked at the pale ghostly version of Barney standing in front of him. He was white all over, with different shades of the colour signifying the pink/purple parts and the green ones. Towards the last words of his, thedude seemed bored.

“Bariney!! u Wasen zmases! Dazent yar pertseiz atensions on teh bifar sartz shturah?” thedude said angrily. File:HC1.ogg

“I know alright! I am just practicing my ghost skills for the Annual Hallowe’en Pacifist Dinosaur Convention!”

“Helo hu? Wernt thiz een tu mantes?” :file:HC2.ogg

“No, it’s Hallowe’en, you silly! It’s a celebration in which kiddies go around in their neighbourhood and ask for candy at the doors of their neighbours! They supposedly threaten them with a prank and the people give them the candy! It’s because we are all friends! And in two months is the Annual Christmass Silly Dinosaur Convention!”

“Eh silibresian on wits yus iz tretend ed shtalen yars suits? Sandz haribal! Uee sald ban eet tamarah!” File:HC3.ogg

Indeed it was Hallowe’en night and thedude and the ghost-dressed Barney did not really expect what was going to follow. thedude got back to reading “Little Jack has to face the evil giant Knights!” and Barney to preparing for the convention, when suddenly the bell rang and the sound echoed through the vast halls of the castle.

“Daz wee enstold ah bell?” thedude asked no one in particular.

He waited for someone to go and open the door, but then he remembered that he had just smashed the doorman today, because he couldn’t understand he was telling him to paint the door. thedude got up and telling something unintelligible set for the door, which was three huge rooms away... and five floors beneath them! While thedude made his way there, the bell continued to ring every five seconds –or was it milliseconds. Finally, some minutes later he was there. thedude opened the door... and set his eyes upon a ghost!

“TRICK OR TREAT!!!” the over-excited children whom someone could justifiably call stupid screeched.

“Wut du dat meen?” thedude demanded angrily.

“It means you should give us some candy or we will do something horrible to you!” someone dressed as a troll said and the rest of the children turned to glare at him.

thedude looked at his very personal pile of candy, which happened to be just next to him. There was a sign on it saying “mee sueetz dant steells!” He surveyed the children.

“Dis farm av waitmeilin is eeritetin! Ah chas teh terd otpion!”

“There is no third option!” the one dressed as a ghost said.

“der is!”

“does not!”

“eet daz!”

“does not!”

“Yahah!”

“Nahah!”

“der iz eh terd chais! IMPRIZANMANT!!! GARDZ!”

Some Barney Bots appeared, caught all the children and dragged them to the dungeon! thedude happy with himself for dealing with this well started returning to the room he was before. However, midway there the bell rang again. thedude, annoyed, turned back to see what was happening now.

Upon opening the door he saw one more ghost! Did Barney know something about this? Together with the ‘ghost’ were other four children.

“TRICK OR TREAT!” they chorused in unison.

“Eens- Weite! Wautt is yur werin?”

“We are dressed as Lord thedude, Lord Vladek, Barney the Dinosaur, a Paradox Rogue and... well and a ghost!” said the one dressed as him looking angrily at the ghost.

“What?! I didn’t want to dress as a Red Mythran!” said the boy.

“Neither did I want to dress as Barney, but we agreed to dress as a team!” said the mini version of Barney, which was quite comical.

Upon hearing that, Barney who had appeared out of nowhere gasped and fainted. thedude was gaping at them.

“So, where’s the candy?” asked the Vladek one.

“Oh rait! U eskd tric ur treet! Ah sei EENSANARATION!!!”

Two Barney Bots appeared launching tongues of fire everywhere and the children scattered all around running away. thedude was really frustrated by now.

“You should give the children candy! We should all be friends!” Barney suggested just as the bell rang again.

This time on the door was a ghost accompanied by three more children. The children opened their mouths to say the words when they saw thedude was pointing a sword at them.

“Chalanj axaptad! Mee wel fait yus! Wet! Naxas Fork? Nait? Wazard? Wut am ur draises az?”

“I am a Nexus-Forcer!”

“I’m a Knight of the Olde Speech!”

“I’m a Wizard fighting with the KOTOS!”

“I’m a Ghost!”

thedude seemed ready to explode and Barney’s exclamation of “We should all be friends!” did not help. He looked at the children ready to attack them when he wondered why so many of them had come there.

“Wah daz ye kepp cames?” he asked.

“This was voted as the spookiest castle of the planet!” said the Knight.

“Wul, eet ar eh litel shpookie wit teh nevah-leevin clauds en litenins ovah et! Wear wher uee?”

At that point he realised the children were running away. He started chasing them when he saw an angry mob approaching. Wielding torches and rakes, a crowd of angered children, dressed as all sorts of things one can imagine, was coming towards him. Hence, thedude ran back to his castle.

“Thus it came to be that a horde of angry children took over thedude’s castle! It was called the Children’s Uprising and it was one of the few that had any success whatsoever! Of course, the following days thedude returned with a bigger force and took it back! But it gave people more courage that there had been a momentary at least success. However, we also paid that, because thedude wanted to punish his people! That’s why every year on the 31st of October thedude sends his soldiers to steal all the candy of the children! THE END!” the woman finished her narration.

The children looked at her awestruck. It had never occurred to them that events like the Hallowe’en Candy Harvest would have such a history behind them.

“Will you tell us about Christmass, too?” asked one of them.

The woman laughed “Perhaps another day! It’s too late now! You need to go home now!”

And while the children walked away disappointed, the storyteller watched the sunset. And Lady Jonna sighed in remembrance of better times. . .

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