San Francisco LIVE: Day of the Lepus - Part One

Poster from the Live Show

> "*Has it ever occurred to you, owlbear, that when they were designing this game you were last in the queue?*"
> ― Kitty Powers
>
>

**San Francisco LIVE: Day of the Lepus - Part One** is the fourth episode of Queens of Adventure: Legends. It is the first half of the first San Francisco live show featuring their local cast attempting to join House Aubergine.

## Synopsis

Four queens are attempting to join the prestigious House Aubergine. They have completed the Trials of Charisma and Uniqueness and only two trials remain. The Trial of Talent begins: A lip synch performance.

As the song ends, they remain standing center stage in the great theater of House Aubergine. The wise matriarch of the house, Mama, consults her advisers. She asks them why they deserve to join the house.

Pollo del Mar says there is a recent trend of success for bald queens. KaiKai Bee Michaels simply says she has wisdom. Kitty Powers, a bard of the college of glamour, touts and toots on her pink instrument. Erika Klash brags about her facing death and her high endurance.

Mama announces that the queens must complete the Trial of Nerve. A queen of the house has fallen to the shady side, Madame Lepus. She fled to Shady Pines, and threatens to corrupt other queens. These novice queens must snatch Madame Lepus's wig and bring it back.

Down at the carriage house Melba von Toast, a senior member of the house, is waiting. She encourages the applicants to not just take the wig, but to convince Lepus to return. The dwarf passes a snowglobe to KaiKai, saying it will help Lepus remember why she became a drag queen. The party boards a carriage drawn by a large capybara and they depart the shimmering pink palace.

Several hours later, the driver drops them off and departs to pick up supplies in town. A path heads into Shady Pines as the midday sun hangs overhead. Pollo suggests KaiKai summon her familiar to scout for them. It is an owl that emerges from a tattoo on her back. Through the owl's eyes, KaiKai can see dense fog, purple motes, and foliage, but quickly gets lost and comes back as the woods grow dark. The queens finally enters the forest, Erika in front, then Pollo, then Erika, and lastly KaiKai.

Kitty uses *animal friendship* to waft her undergarments and summon a nearby animal to help them. A large black cat emerges. Kitty and Pollo work together to calm, befriend, and ask the cat if there is danger ahead. The cat answers "Yes, much danger. Follow me," and it bounds off. The fog grows denser as they follow and the face of a large woman appears, throwing shade at them. Pollo throws shade back.

The cat leads them to a clearing with a sandy bottom and a wooden platform crossing it. Cats sit and stare all around them. The friendly cat tells them to walk this way, and does a sassy catwalk. As the other queens sing, Kitty struts the platform. Pollo uses her barbarian skills to leap across (though she loses her shoe). Erika struts but falls. KaiKai draws her staff as she chicken dances across. The cats applaud the queens skills, and offer their allyship to the queens.

The face of the woman appears again, calling the queens trash, before fading again. The group finds a clearing with a mound of earth in between four tree stumps. A satyr in a leafy green tuxedo greets them. Pollo, recognizing this as a wrestling ring, joins him and dives into her wrestler background to hype up the crowd for a fight. The satyr announces the entrance of their opponent: an owlbear.

KaiKai shoots a ball of flame, burning off most of the owlbear's feathers. It retaliates

by bouncing off the vines and slashing at KaiKai. Then it turns to Pollo and snaps at her with its beak. The goliath goes into a barbarian rage and puts the owlbear in a full nelson. While the monster is grappled, Kitty hits it with *vicious mockery*, then uses her bardic inspiration on Erika. The fighter uses her inspiration to shoot an arrow into the owlbear's eye, despite Pollo's concern about her own safety. The shot knocks the owlbear out and the satyr declares the queens the winner.

As they leave, Kitty plays *song of rest* to help heal the party before they continue... into the Intermission

To Be Concluded...

### Characters

#### Party

* Erika Klash - half-orc fighter
* KaiKai Bee Michaels - high elf wizard
* Kitty Powers - half-elf bard
* Pollo del Mar - goliath barbarian

#### NPCs

* Mama
* Melba Von Toast
* Carriage Driver
* Madame Lepus
* Green Jean Oakenman

#### Live Show Roles

* DM Matt
* Dice Boy Amp
* Sarah Fikus - running the house

## Episode Notes

### Lore

* One of the most notable queens of House Aubergine, Madame Lepus, had gone to the shady side. This allowed her access to formidable dark magics.

### Inspiration Earned

* Pollo - for reading Heklina
* KaiKai - Fanservice - singing part of a Rupaul song
* Pollo - demonstrating her landing pose after her 30 foot leap
* KaiKai - single single joke
* KaiKai - callback to a meme from 1997

### Memorable Quotes

* "I've endured a lot. Including a 10 incher last night." - Erika Klash
* "It is attached to her head via powerful magic we have yet to understand." - "Superglue." - Mama and Pollo del Mar
* "It's been a long walk in this forest." - "We've literally gone five feet." - Kitty and Pollo
* "Way to go team, we made it to a clearing. You guys are like, we've spent half an hour and gone three feet." - Pollo del Mar
* "The cats are speechless." - "As they should be. My puss is speechless too!" - DM Matt and Pollo
* "By the way, grappling is my specialty. There's at least two hundred men in the city who can attest to that." - Pollo del Mar
* "How do you make a bear more scary? Put an owl's head on it, said nobody ever." - Kitty Powers
* "Epcot is waiting... said no one ever." - Erika Klash

### References

* Gummi Bears
* Sasha Velour's Drag Race win and rose pedal wig reveal
* Peaches Christ and Heklina
* Ride Share drivers
* Trixie Mattel's fall from a stage
* Disneyworld

### Name That Tune

* "Real Emotion" - Final Fantasy X-2 (Opening Lip Synch)
* "Sissy That Walk" - RuPaul
* "Cats in the Cradle" - Harry Chapin
* "Cat, I'm a Kitty Cat" - internet meme

## Behind the Queens

* This episode's title has dual meaning. The Day of the Lepus is a reference to the Night of the Lepus, a sci-fi horror movie. It is also a reference to Lady Bunny, legendary drag queen and basis of the Madame Lepus character. Horror movie names would be a recurring trait for the first three San Francisco live shows.
* This live show was originally released as the first Bonus Episode.
* In the outro, DM Matt announces three upcoming live shows in San Francisco, which will see the return of KaiKai and Pollo, as well as appearances by Rock M. Sakura and Jelly Jellyfish.

**Enter the Wigsnatch** - Part One -- Part Two
**Day of the Lepus** - **Part One** -- Part Two
**Live Panels** -- RuPaul's DragCon 2018 -- Minneapolis LIVE: Gaylaxicon 2019 -- PAX West 2019
**The Pernicious Poisoning of Peachblossom** Part One -- Part Two
**QoA x NeoScum**: Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part Two
**Hang Ten**: Part One -- Part Two
**Geekhaus Live**: Part One - Part Two
**Emerald Forest Adventure Con**: Part One - Part Two
**Children of the Cornball**: Part One - Part Two
**Seattle in Chicago**: Part One - Part Two