Bereft of Hues, Life

Insect inside house:

You... me, happen to be wondering why this is? Why the lack of sensations, almost... but not quite? Why all is dried up, bereft of anything anymore?

Well... I can attempt to tell you a slight bit, although I certainly do not have the full picture, so if you might be graceful enough to excuse any gaps in my knowledge...

So... at any rate, it all began some time ago... some might think, a long time ago, but from a personal perspective. not quite... even if there might be similar eras on a more micro scale too...

Indeed, though... once there was more; hope mainly, even if it might have been a fantasy... imagination's fruitful desires. There were hues, once, and not just a contrast between what exists, and what does not...

Currently... just a mere existence, which, I suppose, is better than... nothing. Still, though, there was so much more, once... so much left to the mind, senses' joy... now...

I often wonder if there could ever be anything, anymore, or whether this is. just... structurally so... would it be worthwhile to find out, or a mere useless attempt?

Insect outside house:

Do you feel... flat? I sort of do, at times... not sure why, considering this has always been my state of life, but sometimes... could it be just yearnings? For what, though, if one never experienced anything similar? Here, from a certain point of view, everything looks like it is on the same level, and is visually almost indistinguishable, apart from its geometry... but it is all we know, so how could we even know what to yearn for? It is one thing when quantity is involved, as that is linear, but quality is a distinct category... we could, perhaps, imagine what could possibly be adjacent to what we already know, but is it not likely to be an exercise in fantasy?

I mean, in this world without hues, if we imagined something else, say, 'green', could it not be the equivalent of 'time travel', where imagination is central to its conception?

Insect 2 outside house:

Someone once suggested that we are all blind without even being aware of it... which I thought was absurd, but the more I think about it the more it seems it might be true... I mean, it is how bias happens, and the fact we know nothing but this... no other hues. Many, until told by those who could imagine, did not even realize that there might be more... I suppose, it is still theoretical, but then, how it is that water makes plants grow was once, too... and, we might not be able to perceive frequencies outside of our biological limits, unless through technology... do you think, though, we might see any other hues... at any point?

I mean, it might be interesting, is all I am saying... not necessarily, but might be, just like a feline climbing all over might be, until things start crashing down...

Insect 3 outside house:

There is a legend that somewhere out there lies more than just these most basic of formations... more vivid visuals, not that I know what that means, since I have never experienced it for myself, but more of a variety seems interesting... imagine if, otherwise, we only have grass, and no mushrooms, or such... it is funny how one necessitates the usage of imagination to attempt to understand, which I suppose is the only thing possible when it comes to senses that we do not have biologically, too, although other lives do...

Still, on the surface not that much changes, no? Just a few more distractions, perhaps...

Insect 4 outside house:

Are we... I mean, I am just wondering, and not having an existential crisis here, or anything, but... could we be... merely drawn? We... exist, do we not? Perhaps, that is not in itself absolutely necessary for the sake of existence? I mean, could we not still be alive even if drawn? Just wondering...

Sometimes, though, I do feel as if I do not, really, exist... perhaps, it is real only if I happen to have convinced myself?

Insect 5 outside house:

I think, personally, we might be... at the origin of life, or something... I mean, look at us, barely defined, and yet we are certainly alive... uh, I am not just overly confident, am I? I do not, personally, think so... I mean, we might all look alike, but that must mean we are some... awesome collective, or such...

Do we... not have potential? I say we do... regardless of those seeing glasses half full might say, I say there is potential to fill it up...

Insect 6 outside house:

What... difference does this... pond, make? I mean, does it even need to have a distinct definition if it looks like, well, so much else here... I suppose, one does not, exactly, go inside it like those giant stones can be used as a sort of house... well, water, if indeed it is different from the many other liquids around, does feel quite distinct when submerged into... well, I suppose those fluffy, airy balls up there are somewhat similar... still, the question remains, should objects and substances be named according to what they look like, or what the experience or functionality feels like? I suppose, ultimately, it will still be subjective...

Why am I even mumbling so much about all these... descriptory affairs... one would think having experiences would be more crucial than naming them...

Insect 7 outside house:

Do you know how... we ever came to be? I suppose, it is not, exactly, confirmed, but... it is thought that we just materialized out of nowhere at one point... which, is, understandably, hard to comprehend... it has no logic behind it, only a mere randomness that belies the arbitrary structure of all existence, if I may say so myself... I know this is probably not what you, and likely many others, would like as an answer... but, unless it is found that life was, in fact, for any rational reason... it does not seem like it could be. Reason, in this sense, is more of a blanket of comfort one uses in an ultimately chaotic universe... might not be apparent in individuals, but the process of collectives makes it clear... which is what the whole of existence is, after all... and while inorganic physicality does not seem to mind much whether it is or not...

Well... it might be a sad reflection of an otherwise unedifying reality, but I think it might be an interesting study into how lifeless processes impact upon those deemed to have life... and those in-between...

Insect 8 outside house:

Are we... all alike? I mean, we cannot possibly be... no? I know we do look alike... it is an inevitable fact... might be some minute differences, but ultimately we seem to look more similar, almost identical genetically too, than not... and that is sort of weirdly uncanny... no? One would think, with all the variant possibilities of all of existence, all the different species, objects... one would think that there is room for more differences, but somehow it seems like whatever space there was before, that suddenly the paint had run dry... and, I suppose, it might have literally, here, considering that we seem to consist of... not many dimensions... it is just strange to think about, although I suppose if one were to live by autopilot, then... well, it could possibly be as unconscious as clockwork... in the non-life sort of way...

I suppose it might be a bit of a dilemma... on one hand it could be easier, quicker, to just not be so conscious... on the other, it would not be as fulfilling...

Insect 9 outside house:

Is this... solidified water? How can it be distinguished if there is not much, visually, to use to do so...? Well, I suppose one can always rely on other senses, just as someone unable to see does, but when one has such access, but with limited data... is there not a mismatch between how much information about the environment my brain thinks I may be able to get, and how much I get in reality? I might be overthinking this, but I am just saying... sometimes relying on what seems to be intuitively functional is not, actually, the optimal result...

I might also, I suppose... just gaze forever at the reflection, despite being broken, of the world... which, I guess, is kind of apt, considering...

Insect 10 outside house:

This grass... is it not rather tall, or am I seemingly seeing this from some other creature's point of view? I mean, I suppose we might be beings even smaller than even grass... even when grass is so much smaller than trees, we are tinier still... are we not? Perhaps, then, grass is kind of our trees? I do not suppose any life, really, is even larger than the almighty trees... on land, at least... under water life tends to be horizontal, though. Then there is those... fluffy things, which are sort of fun to play with, perhaps, but still... what was their point, again? Ah, propagation of seeds, was it? To not rely on bees? What a strange world we live in... although, does height, or size generally, make a difference when... even the smallest of jellyfish, or frogs, can have the most lethal poison? I think it is something to do merely with perception... just as our sight of a lack of hues gives us a certain impression...

Is this all really so crucial, though? Could we not just live at face value, just experiencing things at a surface level? Perhaps, but would it be as comprehensive?

Insect 11 outside house:

I suppose... we can remain outside, here, as it is relatively safe, for now at least... from the weather's elements, and... who are those just outside, anyway? Why do they insist on hurting whoever comes close? It is ever so irritating... not that I need to go out there, but just in case... but, then again, what is out there? I am not sure anyone even tried to go, or has returned to say what there is... is it like an ever-expanding universe, perhaps? Although, in this case, more of an expanding nothingness... which, I suppose, sort of is like the universe, generally, but does that mean we are also going away from each other... bit by bit, at least? Well, I do not suppose gravity is similarly functional on a micro-scale, anyway, or that both situations are perfectly aligned...

Could some be just antagonistic, though? For no apparent reason, too? I suppose, it might be possible... as seasons exist in nature, so they do in life's temperaments...

Insect 12 outside house:

What... is it with those who just would not stop trying to hurt anyone passing by? Can they not just calm down a bit perhaps, and merely communicate whatever's bothering them...? I mean, I think over here we could talk over issues if needed... why is it some seem to refuse? Could it, perhaps, be that illusive agency inferred from the external object they use for aggression's catharsis? Is it not futile, though, when anyone else can also utilize such externalities? I suppose, then, it is a zero-sum game that depends on whoever's quickest, but with time vengeance is possible, and... is it not all futile? Could it be, perhaps, that some desire to witness that hue, only visible through pain?

I still do not get it, though... such seemingly useless initiatives that, ultimately, result in everyone's loss, when one could merely... indulge in qualia, or such...

Insect 13 outside house:

We, here... I think we have resided around these parts for some time, although not that long ago... originally from over there, obviously... until someone, apparently, thought it was getting too crowded, or such... sometimes I notice the habitats of other insects, and... far more crowded, I got to say... we are relatively light here, in comparison... well, here specifically, surely... but, then again, we seem to be missing somewhere to be inside... could it ever be needed? I suppose, the elements might become more extreme, but are we possibly not made to withstand many a turbulence? Well, there must have been a reason why those stones were assembled up there; even though they seem quite basic, effectively, functionally it seems to be useful... at times, perhaps. At least we still have grass, fungi, ponds for sustenance... still, potentially bothering about any of this takes away from the possibilities of life's explorations, does it not? Searching for hues, for one...

Ah, yes, hues... are they, were they, ever really necessary, or just a visual feast for those who perceive it? For some species it is functional, but for many it seems a mere surprise...

Insect 14 outside house:

These mushrooms... you know about symbiosis? They use that to grow themselves, but, actually, it functions the other way round too, in some mysterious way... it is strange because they seem to not be as basic as most flora, despite resembling them, and yet they do not have the motility of most fauna... fascinating they surely are, though, are they not? Unlike microscopic creatures, which can exist, although mostly unseen... fungi similarly have the seemingly spontaneous capability to spawn, although mostly visible... I have always wondered how they could seem to appear out of nowhere... it is so metaphorical too, though... when, to mention one species, inkcaps appear, is that kind of like these creatures saying "write your narrative"? One can, at least, imagine such a scenario; they might exist in various guises and hues in many different worlds, but here they are, just like so much around these parts, in monochrome...

Of course, having a single hue still does not seem to change a form's inherent function... only the form itself does so, perhaps. Although, I suppose, beyond Plato's times, it is clear how genes seem to create form in the first place, and, funnily enough, chromosomes, despite there being no 'chromes' here...

Insect 15 outside house:

You reckon it is better to be out there, away from all the hubbub up there? It always seemed so, to me at least, and never quite understood why creatures seem to congregate - ants being even worse at this, or better if from their point of view... I do not understand why it is advantageous for society to gather so, or at least I assume they reckon it is... and I assume it is not just to keep warm. I mean, sure, ultimately one gets shorter pathways to where the desired destination is... although, that is self-defeating the larger a society is... but, other than that, what else is there besides ado and chaos? Larger numbers being a shield against threats is another argument, but does not quite function when one is, fundamentally at any one time, alone...
Ultimately, what is really desired but an improvement upon the self? I suppose, for some that can be done through others, but considering that the self is available anywhere, and seems to be edified more by open spaces... would that not be the optimal location?

Just randomly spouting here, of course... or self-justifying where we ended up, I suppose... still, is it not better, overall, even more than the other smaller group due to, well, some more activity around their area? Ah, never mind, I know I might be boring you...

Insect 16 outside house:

The problem with... let us go with the usual word 'legends', or myths... is that they are but attempts to normalize the status quo, and if that happens to be, say, one central group, as the one over there is... well, they will inevitably be exclusive of anyone else... but, nevertheless, I know of one myth that explains why us, the peripherals, grew... it was far long ago, when the... coalition, shall we say, the bunch over there, decided that they are finally tired of there being only a few rocks to which one could, uh, jazz to, shall we say... and then a few monstrous creatures, sent by the larger insects, minds, chased them away... practically. I know, I am not the best storyteller...

Basically, though, that was it... something else was wanted, and hydras, or whatever they were, always went to the larger group first, so... might as well separate. In fact, not sure how we got ever married in the first place... uh, I might have veered into the wrong topic there...

Insect 17 outside house:

You might be wondering what we do, here, or if anything ever happens, here... and so are we. I mean, we are not even... hued in? Is that a saying? So, I suppose, it is a case of... what does one expect? One thing that does seem to happen, though, is that over time... only after such a thing, though... some things seem to happen, although certainly not everything... which is reasonable, as that is why there is time, so everything does not happen all at once... which is a kind of pesky thing to configure in the universe, if you ask me... still, if it did then what would one do in between, or the rest of the time? Perhaps, before time came into being, too... whatever did anyone do, then?

Ultimately, though...

Insect 18 outside house:

Over here... is not so different from the south-east area, yes? It is not, actually, because we copied them, no... although that cannot, exactly, be proven... our theory is, though... or, at least mine is, as many do not think there is anything so intrinsic to it... but, anyway, I think it is due to something genetic, inside of us, that not only makes us look similar, but also act, and operate society similarly... of course, that still does not translate into amicability, necessarily... in fact, I theorize similarity may more likely breed conflict, but I do not, precisely, have evidence of such, so have a grain of salt...

Familiarity may end up being... annoying. Too much of it, at least... ergo...

Insect 19 outside house:

Do you know what we might be planning, over here? To go over to our sister village, over there, and... well, crawl all over them... why, you reckon it is amusing? Nay, it is what we do, is it not? So, therefore, why do we not do it to other insects? Oh... we are equally as large? Not sure how I forgot that... I suppose, that makes sense... we would need to become smaller in relation, to act like we otherwise do on other creatures... if this was not a problem, though, would it not be a sound strategy to... annoy them, or such? I am merely suggesting ideas...

If we are equally as large as them, are there any that could, indeed, act as we do upon even larger creatures...?

Insect 20 outside house:

Is it not a bit, at least, interesting how our presence here is unknown? Virtually it seems to be, at least, from what I have heard... which is from some of those at their peripheries... we, uh, interlocute, sometimes... a sort of inter-society friendship could be useful, I always thought... although not everyone seems to think so, but it makes sense... if we do have friends who are closer to them than we are, then they can tell us some things they are more likely to hear, than us... it is perfectly logical, in my opinion... also, if we do successfully keep our presence unknown... unless someone from that other societal core is curious enough to travel about these parts, I suppose... if we do, then we have an advantage, strategically speaking... only if we ever need it, of course, which is not absolutely necessary...

One might think I might be thinking too aggressively, but no, I retort that it is merely a defence preparation, per se...

Insect 21 outside house:

Do you think... if one keeps going in some direction, there could be more of... us, or anyone else? Perhaps, at a certain, possibly infinite point? Not sure how likely that is, but if I understand infinity at all... if the universe is that, then can there also not be so much life, too? Oh... I think, that might be a... living nightmare, is it not? I mean, life already seems sordid enough... and there is plenty of misery to go around, so if that is, somehow, infinite... I am not sure it could be possible, though, and the universe is likely only seen as such due to relative size differences...

It is, like, this fluffy thing, here... in comparison to myself it is large, but for some other creatures... might not even be noticed...

Insect 22 outside house:

Could life have possibly come into being for testing purposes? I mean, how else, if there was a 'why'... inorganic physics is clockwork, you see, so... essentially, not much divergence, if any, can be done... unless there is life present which can alter physics in minute quantities... not that this implies, I think, any sort of non-deterministic qualities... life could still be pre-determined, especially at the macro scale, but there might be a few alterations possible... at the neural level, though, who knows if, indeed, there is free will?

I... just like pondering such random affairs... some prefer to think about societal relations, others more fundamental stuff, I suppose...

Insect 23 outside house:

I am still not sure, actually, how those others in south-east have not been curious enough to explore, and possibly discover us... are they really so, inherently perhaps, uncurious? If it is inherent, though, would that not mean we are similarly, too? We do seem to be quite related, after all... visually, I am sure you can tell... but, then, perhaps it is the nurture aspects of life that is at play, here? As in, since we... I think, anyway... were not the originals, here, we might be those who did have that quality in us that sought to explore... in a way, then, it might also be genetic, and it perservered due to our survival over here... I suppose, it might not be as impactful as some devastating disease that decimated so many, with only those who could randomly survive it doing so... but, still possibly functions similarly...

I guess one other difference between nature and nurture is that with the latter there might be a consciousness, or will... at play, possibly... although, whether one thinks to do something due to some gene is another matter...

Insect 24 outside house:

Could we, possibly... all be neurons emanating from the same... environmental brain? I mean, this is just metaphors, and even then... I am not sure of its... exactitude... issue is... are we, or are we not so much alike? Not so much personality-wise... no, that is definitely different when it comes to it... so much so I would rather not look so alike... visually, though, and, I hear, at a more fundamental level too... why is every neuron so alike? Does it want to be so? It is separate, and yet... so bizarre, no? Kind of like our two societies, here... so similar, and yet... well, not so far apart, just a bit perhaps, but, still... not dogs, though, right? Same breed, maybe similar, but canines overall come in all shapes, sizes, and... was it... hues? At least, this is what I read about some world, somewhere...

Yet, regardless of size or stature, all life has a common factor, mitochondria...

Insect 25 outside house:

What are you doing here? No, I mean... not just around these parts, but here, generally... what are you doing? Is that not a kind of funny question? It implies that something needs to be done, and some more than imply... implies that whatever is currently being done might not be what should ideally be done, but that would be curious considering the question likely comes from someone other than the one it is asked to... and whatever the latter is doing should, surely, be whatever they might think is ideal to themselves... I am, mostly wondering about this because there seems to be a difference between our two groups, and... well, clearly some seem to believe that being here, which I suppose derived from a doing... once, when one walked up here... might not be as ideal as being, perhaps, in a more central location... which seems an intriguing premise, considering one can experience all kinds of tales anywhere... maybe some are still living before printing presses...

Well, anyway, I happen to be here, and... what am I doing? Just... being, I suppose... might be a bit strange for some to just observe life, but why not?

Insect 26 outside house:

Why is it that the substance where apparently life derived from is also where it could be erased? Is it not a strange kind of nightmare-within-a-dream sort of scenario? I suppose, those who have not evolved outside of water could still reside there, but as soon as some species left, over some evolutionary timescales... a barrier formed, and the gate between life and death stood still in between worlds. At least, fire never pretended to be sustaining, you know? I suppose, excess of anything is key to be avoided, but it is not like one can suddenly become an anglerfish and go haunt the abyssal depths...

Oh, I am just idly pondering, I suppose it seems more interesting to me than thinking through the implications of inter-societal potentialities, or such, like some seem to do...

Insect 27 outside house:

What... is the point of all this? None of this makes sense... life most of all, it clearly should have never come into being... but even prior that, what is the point of anything? Differentiation is useless too... so what if everything looks, and might have a different form, if it is all made of the same sort of atoms, anyway? Even then... physicality? When energy exists, what is the point of objects being solid? There's other forms of non, or semi-solid forms, but no, there always needs to be something like stones that for some reason exist... and you know the irony behind it? They are, realistically speaking, on a micro level, not really solid, anyway... so, in a way, they are merely pretending to be so...

Uh, I am not sure why I am so annoyed at all this... mostly it is life that seems so arbitrary, but since it was beget by physicality...

Insect 28 outside house:

...If I said anything to you, now, would that matter at all? Really, though, does whatever I happen to say make a difference, and if it does not why should I say anything at all? Perhaps, though, some things should be said for... some reason? That must be it... reason why so many here say so much, some random reason that I, at least, can never figure out... not possibly. I know I might be too negative, and perhaps I might be better placed to... interlocute with some creatures at a cemetary, or some such... but, some are stuck somewhere, regardless of where their ideal is... and, so, here I am; tall grass, fluffy whatever in the world those are... and some worse idlers than I, one supposes... or maybe I am too tired for all this. Who could not get tired of seeing a barely differentiated face, honestly? It is, like, the same monotony, until the inevitable annihilation... I tell you this much, I kind of envy those who can still afford optimism, for at some point reality sets in...

Who cares about all this? I am not even sure anyone pretends to, actually... and some towers just fall...

Insect 29 outside house:

Some claim... modularity is so optimal, and I suppose options are, in a way, as long as they are married to rationality; the option to go somewhere other than here, but as long as one can still equally survive... same with any other system, really... just a mere excess of modularity is not, necessarily, optimal, and I am not sure why some seem to think so if affairs are not, quite, confined to functionality... if you get my drift. Ah, that is another actuality... a little wind, in this sense, can feel soothing... but a lot of it? A storm? Tornadoes, even... well, that is when the architecture crumbles, regardless of how much one waits for some metaphysical being, mind... at any rate, these are my mere idle thoughts; disregard, or otherwise, as you will... or not, after all, many trees do indeed fall on their own... I presume, at least... perhaps not, who knows... maybe they just die on their feet, or something... am I rambling too long? Probably... but what else is there to do, here?

I am just saying... one's propensity to wrestle with crumbling towers does diminish in time... alhough, I suppose, time does not quite exist similarly around here...