Laws

* It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.
* Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.
* It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
* It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
* Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
* It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
* Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
* Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
* It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
* Anniston: You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
* Auburn: No person may spit on the floor of a church.
* Auburn: It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area.
* Auburn: Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
* Huntsville: If an animal control officer is in uniform, it signifies to the public that he is an animal control officer.
* Lee County: It is illegal to sell peanuts after sundown on Wednesday.
* Mobile: Women may not wear a ‘lewd dress’ in public.
* Mobile: No one may use a ‘funk ball’ within the city limits.
* Mobile: Bathing in city fountains is prohibited.
* Mobile: No person within the city may possess confetti.
* Mobile: It is illegal to spit orange peels on the sidewalk.
* Mobile: ‘Spray String’ is banned.
* Mobile: Bicycles are banned from the interstate highways.
* Mobile: If one wishes to read palms in the city, they must first pay $10 for a permit.
* Mobile: It is illegal to howl at ladies within the city limits.
* Mobile: It is unlawful to wear women’s pumps with sharp, high heels.
* Montgomery: It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.

### Alaska

* Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
* While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
* It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
* Anchorage: No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car.
* Anchorage: It is illegal to string a wire across any road.
* Anchorage: Persons may not live in a trailer as it is being hauled across the city.
* Anchorage: Clowns beware!
* Fairbanks: It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
* Haines: A person may only carry a concealed slingshot if that person has received the appropriate license.
* Haines: It is against the law to attempt to break any law in title 9 of the code (public peace, morals, and welfare).
* Haines: [https://web.archive.org/web/20181116130547/http://www.dumblaws.com/law/23 Employers of bars may not let their bartenders serve while they are drunk themselves.
* Juneau: Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops.
* Juneau: Buildings that preserve scenic vistas are awarded "bonus points" by the government.
* Nome: One may not roam the city with a bow and arrows.
* Soldotna: Persons may not allow “attractive nuisances” to exist.

### Arizona

* Hunting camels is prohibited.
* Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.
* There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
* Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
* A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is “likely to provoke physical retaliation”.
* It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.
* When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.
* It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
* You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
* Globe: Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.
* Hayden: If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.
* Maricopa County: No more than six girls may live in any house.
* Mesa: It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license.
* Mohave County: A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
* Nogales: An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
* Prescott: No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.
* Tempe: One must be 18 years old to buy spray paint.
* Tombstone: It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
* Tucson: Women may not wear pants.

### Arkansas

* It’s strictly prohibited to pronounce “Arkansas” incorrectly.
* The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
* A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
* A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
* Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.
* Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
* Fayetteville: It is illegal to kill “any living creature”.
* Little Rock: Honking one's car horn at a sandwich shop after 9PM is against the law.
* Little Rock: No one may "suddenly start or stop" their car at a McDonald's.
* Little Rock: Dogs may not bark after 6PM.
* Little Rock: Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
* Little Rock: It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1PM on Sunday.

### California

* California prison workers will no longer be allowed to have sex with inmates.
* Film producers must have permission from a pediatrician before filming a child under the age of one month.
* It’s unlawful to let a dog pursue a bear or bobcat at any time.
* In San Jose and Sunnyvale, it is illegal for grocery stores to provide plastic bags.
* You may only throw a frisbee at the beach in Los Angeles County with the lifeguard’s permission.
* Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
* It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
* Women may not drive in a house coat.
* No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
* Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
* Bathhouses are against the law.
* Alhambra: You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.
* Arcadia: Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.
* Baldwin Park: Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
* Belvedere: No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash.
* Blythe: You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
* Burlingame: It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds.
* Carmel: A man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
* Carmel: Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor)
* Carmel: Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.
* Cathedral City: It is prohibited to sleep in a parked vehicle.
* Cathedral City: Persons may not ride their bicycles through the “Fountain of Life”.
* Cathedral City: One may not bring their dog to school.
* Cerritos: All dog “waste” must be removed from any yard within seven days.
* Chico: must obtain a permit from the city to throw hay in a cesspool.
* Chico: It is illegal to own a green or smelly animal hide.
* Chico: Bowling on the sidewalk is illegal.
* Chico: Driving a herd of cattle down a street is against the law.
* Chico: It is illegal to plant a garden in any public street.
* Chico: Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.
* Dana Point: ne may not use one’s own restroom if the window is open.
* Downey: It is illegal to wash your car in the street.
* El Monte: Sandboxes may not be used as ashtrays.
* El Monte: Pinball machines are outlawed, as well as mock horse racing games.
* El Monte: Waitresses are not allowed to consume drinks bought by her customers.
* Eureka: Persons may not sleep on a road.
* Eureka: One must seek written permission from the Director of Public Works before playing baseball in a city park.
* Eureka: Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
* Fresno: No one may annoy a lizard in a city park.
* Fresno: Skipping rocks in a city park is not allowed.
* Fresno: It is against the law to hold a private bingo game.
* Fresno: Permanent markers may not be sold in the city limits.
* Fresno: It is illegal to sell gasoline to a drunken person.
* Fresno: Elementary schools may not host poker tournaments.
* Fresno: Getting drunk on a playground is against the law.
* Glendale: One may not take his dog on an elevator with him.
* Glendale: A person must be 18 years old to buy a wax container.
* Glendale: It is illegal to jump into a passing car.
* Glendale: Cars may not be driven in reverse.
* Hermosa Beach: Public restrooms must be supplied with toilet paper.
* Hermosa Beach: No person may show his or her buttocks on a playground.
* Hermosa Beach: It is illegal to pour salt on a highway.
* Hollywood: It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
* Indian Wells: It is illegal for a trumpet player to play his instrument with the intention of luring someone to a store.
* Indian Wells: Drinking intoxicating cement is prohibited.
* Indian Wells: Fortelling the future for donations is illegal.
* Indian Wells: Crushing rocks in the city limits is forbidden.
* Lafayette: You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person.
* Lodi: It is illegal to shoot “silly string” at parade participants.
* Lompoc: It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters.
* Long Beach: Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.
* Long Beach: It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
* Los Angeles: It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.
* Los Angeles: You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
* Los Angeles: You may not hunt moths under a street light.
* Los Angeles: It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
* Los Angeles: Toads may not be licked.
* Los Angeles: It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church.
* Los Angeles: Zoot suits are prohibited.
* Los Angeles County: All food in a children's camp must be approved by the director before being used.
* Los Angeles County: It is illegal to set metal balloons afloat in the air.
* Los Angeles County: No person may charge admission to a house party.
* Los Angeles County: It is illegal to skateboard and roller-skate through the courthouse and library.
* Norco: Vehicles may not contain sound systems which allow someone to hear noise outside the vehicle.
* Norco: It is unlawful to give another fireworks.
* Norco: All persons wishing to keep a rhinoceros as a pet must obtain a $100 license first.
* Norco: Growing oleander flowers is illegal.
* Ontario: Roosters may not crow in the city limits.
* Pacific Grove: It is illegal to molest butterflies.
* Palm Springs: It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.
* Pasadena: It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
* Portola: One may not allow his or her dog to chase a squirrel in the summer.
* Portola: It is illegal to fish from an overpass in the city.
* Portola: No person may carry a fish into a bar.
* Prunedale: Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.
* Redlands: Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it.
* Redwood City: It is illegal to have a monkey or a reptile.
* Riverside: One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and one o'clock.
* San Diego: It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar.
* San Diego: The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250.
* San Francisco: Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash.
* San Francisco: It is illegal to wipe one’s car with used underwear.
* San Francisco: Persons classified as “ugly” may not walk down any street.
* San Francisco: It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
* San Francisco: Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.
* San Jose: It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs.
* San Luis Obispo: Using a gas-powered blower at a business on Sunday is prohibited.
* Santa Monica: You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.
* Shasta Lake: One may not raffle off a dog as a gift in any public place.
* Simi Valley: Remote control cars can only be driven in designated areas of city parks.
* Temecula: Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St.
* Thousand Oaks: Before a business may have a “going out of business sale”, they must obtain a special permit from the city manager.
* Walnut: Ice cream men must obtain a license before selling any ice cream from their car.
* Walnut: Kites may not be flown above 10 feet over the ground.
* Walnut: Children may not wear a Halloween mask unless they get a special permit from the sheriff.
* Walnut: Persons may not pick flowers from the city parks.
* Walnut: Males may not dress as a female unless a special permit is obtained from the sheriff.
* Walnut: One may not leave sand in their own driveway.