Toy with death

## Below is an excerpt of Zeszy's diary.

I must be mad.

I want to die.

No. Everything is more than well for me. I am in perfect mental health condition.

I am just too curious.

What does it feel like to be dead?

I went to Felida. He took me to his private room.

So many dead bodies.

He was trying to find the difference between the living and the dead.

I went to one dead body. A girl who died of heart attack after breaking up with his boyfriend.

I was astonished to find no blood power at all in her body. Normally there must be some blood power in living people...

There was also a man who died from a car accident. Unlike the girl, there are lots of blood power in his body. I took out his heart, and tried to use my magic to revitalize it. I succeeded. The heart restarted pumping... nothing.

It seems that... human are so similar to the computers we make... just in a more unified form. When computers are mechanically broken, they cannot be started and seem to be powered off. The same is with humans. When humans are biologically broken, they cannot function like normal and seem to be sleeping, which is the most common way of power-off.

So how can I experience death?

By disabling all my organs with biological technology?

Maybe it’s the only way to experience death… As being physically destroyed is not reversible… At least under the current circumstances?

Yes! However, it doesn’t seem that dead people are ‘feeling’ something… as their feeling organs are also disabled?

Nevertheless, when I ‘feel’ the feeling of being dead, I should have my feeling turned on. Otherwise I would have felt nothing, which can be experienced by being artificially put to sleep.

I first asked Felida to inject a single dosage of anesthetic into my body.

I closed my eyes, and then I opened them. The time had advanced by 8 hours, and I was feeling emptiness, total emptiness.

I find myself losing all my sense but regaining them gradually. The vague image of sight got clearer and clearer, and the speech of others became more and more recognizable.

That felt a little strange… but still not enough for me. I was not feeling death, but feeling rebirth.

Yes. I had yet to experience the feeling of being dead.

I went to Felida again.

“Maybe we could go through a series of experiments to make a human being… mostly dead, with only the feeling organs enabled?”

That seemed quite feasible. According to my experience with the undead, only those who are not vitalized enough are not allowed to be alive. I, with the ever-fluctuating blood crystal in my heart, will not die for good so easily.

“I got it! You are trying to experience dewore rather then yuzerm.”

Dewore. The process of losing vitality to the extent of not being able to function as an organism.

Yuzerm. The process of sleeping forever.

They are the terms to describe death in Standard Bitian and Yolish Bitian.

Wait. I am a blood witch. I can pull vitality out of my own body, and then have it back. Let me experience on the mouse first.

“Blood out…”

Body Temperature. 37 Degrees Celsius to 25 Degrees Celsius.

Heart rate. 630 bpm to 0 bpm.

Body Blood Power. 100% to 0%.

Can be declared medically dead.

“Blood in…”

I put my finger on the mouse’s heart.

It restarted pumping.

Body Temperature. 25-37.

Heart rate. 0 to 630.

Body Blood Power. 0 to 100%

Alive again.

I repeated the same experiment 4 times. All of them ended in success.

I asked Felida to try this technology on myself. As a human being has much more blood power than a mouse, I brought my home university’s most valuable device, the Container of Life, to CFBU.

The experiment started. My blood flowed into the container as I gradually lost my consciousness.

I felt my blood crystal turning black. I lost control of my body and could no longer lose more vitality.

Felida called the school doctor. I was officially declared dead.

I could no longer make any movement, but I could feel everything. I was sent to the morgue. It was 20 degrees below zero, according to the information I knew, but I could not feel a bit coldness.

I lay like a puppet for ten hours, without the ability to do anything. I could only feel, but not think.

Someone came and transferred me from the morgue to the coffin. I was artificially made to lie in the same way as I did when I was sleeping. It was so familiar, but still so strange.

Strange sounds were humming in my ear. It was… funeral music?

Thanks Felida, he organized a funeral for me!

I still couldn’t do anything, but I heard people’s voices.

“What’s wrong with you, Zeszy? May I hug you again?” Said Yosin.

I felt a surge of power. It must be Yosin’s Nature Magic Power. I was able to breath once, but then the power went away, and I was dead again.

So many people shed their tears… for an outsider, a thought-to-be vile witch. I felt strange, non-blood magic power emerging in my heart, and this time they did not fade away.

The funeral seemed to have come to an end, as all the voices faded away.

Suddenly I felt a giant surge of blood magic power… I was alive again!

I came back to consciousness, and was finally able to move. Beside me was Mr.Bit, the principal and the president, awarding me and Felida the Laureate Prize of Biology and Medical Science.

“The First Successful Attempt of Resurrecting a Human Being Medically”

Was I resurrected? Or I haven’t been dead at all?

I was declared dead medically, but not dead… psychologically?

Is life just some sort of will, but not some sort of physical being?

No. Life is still physical, or people could not be killed by accident.

But there should be a difference. I think those who are dead without being dead in heart could be brought back to life much more easier.

Wait… I felt myself changed.

The colour of my core crystal. It was dark red, but it’s much brighter now.

I tried my magic. I’m still as good as I was at blood magic, but I find myself having some new type of magic. It’s still life magic, blood magic, but it’s much more brighter, and much more active.

It’s the result of the crowd’s shedding tears for me.

It’s the magic of care and love.

Being dead makes me more alive.