recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Denzel's Rave Experience

This page is the transcription from a Cragglethorne company magazine, in the ''New Employees'' Section, written December 1990, released January 1991.

In the Notting Hill Branch, we welcome brand new salesman and former intern, Denzel Pepper. Denzel will give us an introduction to himself.

I am well cool, y'know? I mean, let me tell you a story, alright? I was at a rave the night prior, and it were a mad old time, I got given free drinks, free brownies, it was mental. And then I woke up the next night. It was a Thursday night in August and I was alone in me flat. Me room was warm and the telly was giving me a massive headache, so I decided to go out. I looked at the clock on the wall: 9:35: if I hurried I could catch the quarter to bus into town. I put on my going out attire: A grey anorak, with large blue shorts and teddy bear baubles to put in my hair, gelled my glorious curtains and went out through the front door - only thing is, I didn't: instead I found myself in the front room, an exact replica of it, actually right down to the clock on the wall which still read 9:35, and the broken handle on the third drawer down on the dressing table.

I was proper confused.

Again I went to the front door and again I found myself back in the same room. The clock didn't move. The fucking thing was ticking like crazy but the hands wouldn't fucking move. I picked it up and threw it at the ceiling with all me might. Instead of smashing to pieces it went straight through, leaving a small little hole through which I could see the stars.

I was relieved at least I could get out now. I stood up on my Gucci Armaci Designer Chair, and stuck me head through the hole. It was then I realised that the stars were really small electric light bulbs on a black cardboard dome. I hoisted the rest of myself through the hole for a way out.

Eventually, after what seemed like ages (although I wouldn't know: the clock still said 9:35) I found a door with a neon sign above it, saying "The New Astoria Theatre" and in the thingie that lets you know who's playing, it said ''Bazza White''. My favourite artist.
Leopold Calvert-Bellingham

Leopold Calvert-Bellingham (born 27 September 1959) is a famed Northern Irish Sailor, former local politician, and Regional Manager of Thornton Stationery Company - Cork Branch.

Calvert-Bellingham was brought up in Cork, Ireland and was always a strong supporter of Irish independence.

During the events of Jebidiah Thornton's Revenge, he helped reform the Lemon Brigade (an elite taskforce of the best fighters of Letak Lemons) with Squirrel to help rescue Jasper Scunthorpe, DeSaad Pepper, Wilfred Pebble, Alfred Lennie and Gunther Bianchi from Mr. Capulet. He was hired due to his sailing skills and managed to catch up with Mr. Capulet's boat on Jasper's stealth boat.
Vlad Petrov's Mother

### Affiliation

The Serbian Sisterhood of NunsThornton Stationery Company - Kensington and Chelsea Branch

### Occupation

Nun (1950 - 2004)Customer Service Rep. at Kensington & Chelsea Stationary Branch (September 2005 - November 2005)

## Appearances

### Debut

2005

Vlad's Mother (Sylvia Petrov) born 22 August 1935 was a nun for the Serbian Sisterhood of Nun's from 1950 - 2004.

Sylvia joined the Sisterhood in 1950, at the age of 16. In 2004, Sylvia assisted her son, Vlad to burn down the Sisterhood of Bosnian Nuns, which ultimately got her kicked out from the Sisterhood of Serbian Nuns. In September 2005, Vlad took Sylvia to Kensington to work as a Customer Service Rep. at Thornton Stationery Company - Kensington & Chelsea Branch. She was fired two months later due to her inability to speak English.
Chris Watson

Chris Watson (born 18 June 1980) is a hopelessly romantic man of integrity, and sales team leader at Thornton Stationery Tower Hamlets Branch.

Chris began his professional career in 2007 when he started his own dating company called ''Watson's Fairy-tale Matches''. In 2009 this company was bought by Jebidiah Thornton for a grand sum of 23 million GBP. Later in the same year Chris began working for Thornton Stationery Tower Hamlets Branch
Sydney Sinclair

> *"If you want something done, don't do it, do drugs instead." - Sydney*
>
>

Sydney Alexander Sinclair (born 25 August 1962) is the regional manager of Thornton Stationery Company - Salford Branch, and has been since 1985. Sydney also used to be a large proponent of the legalisation of MDMA, and LSD, working alongside the likes of Cecil Longstaff to legalise the substances. In recent years, however, he has gotten clean and no longer associates with drugs, instead starting a ''JUST SAY NO'' campaign.

Sydney enrolled to the Manchester Branch of Thornton Stationery in 1984, however was fired soon after due to his habits of selling LSD to the employees. He requested to open up a branch in Salford District, where he originated from, where he could manage the branch as he pleased. The request was approved in April 1985. The branch became a huge success. He soon recruited his brother and his friends, as well as his gang of ravers.

Sydney gained a reputation in the company for his attitude, and was originally disliked by many branch managers for his working class status and unprofessional attitude. Jebidiah Thornton, chief accountant at the Notting Hill branch of the company took a liking to him, and worked closely with him for years. Jebidiah had developed a five year plan for the company (at the time called Cragglethorne Stationery) to improve their economic status, however, the executives at the company dismissed this plan and took no notice of Jebidiah, leading much of the 80s in financial depravity.
Jock Henley

Jock Henley (born 12th of August 1976) was a H.R. Representative of Thornton Stationery Company from January 1998 to May 2005. Jock currently owns a restaurant with his wife in Bristol, which him and his wife own and manage.

## Time as a H.R. Rep

Jock Henley began working at Thornton Stationery in January 1998 after reading about a job opening in the local newspaper the month prior. Jock was placed opposite Vlad Petrov. Jock was a rather eccentric and awkward man, and Vlad took an instant liking to him. Vlad offered to move in with Jock, and Jock accepted.

Vlad and Jock grew an incredible relationship over the 7 years that Jock worked for Thornton, and became partners-in-crime.
Orange County Branch

The Orange County Branch of Thornton Stationery Company is the best-selling branch of Thornton Stationery in California and the South-West. It was founded in 1961 as a merger between three Cragglethorne Stores.

## Employees

**Management:**

* Hugo Higgins - CEO
* Tony Waternoose - Regional Branch Manager

**Sales Team:**

* Bob Garcia - Sales Team leader
* Dean Shevchenko - Sales Representative
* Raymond Hunnington - Sales Representative
Neu-Isenburg Branch

The Neu-Isenburg Branch was created in August 1993 after the promotional trip that the Notting Hill Branch took down the Rhine river.

## Employees

**Management:**

* Hugo Higgins - CEO
* Herr John Niedlich - Regional Branch Manager

**Sales Team:**

* Robert Hollmann - Sales Team Leader
* Friedrich Muller - Sales Representative
* Erika Hoffman - Sales Representative

**Accounting Team:**
Giles Goldham

### Occupation

Regional Manager at Thornton Stationery Watford Branch (2018 - present)Salesman at Thornton Stationery Watford Branch (2011 - 2018)

## Appearances

### Debut

2013

Giles Andrew Goldham (born 25th April 1970) is the regional manager of Thornton Stationery - Watford Branch. He is a strong, muscular man with a strong face of love and passion. Giles was born in Newcastle in 1970, however grew up with a pure hatred for Newcastle, always admiring their western rivals, Sunderland.
Islington Branch

The Islington Branch is the sixth best performing branch of Thornton Stationery Company in London, behind Hackney branch.

## Employees

**Management:**

* Hugo Higgins - CEO
* Albert - Regional Branch Manager

**Sales Team:**

* Lord Abdul Sinister - Regional Sales Director
* Paul Butterbury - Sales Representative
* Mable Dragovich - Sales Representative
* Isaac Chesterfield - Sales Representative

**Accounting Team:**

* Richard Quicksworth - Chief Accountant
* Thomas Plantsworth - Accountant
* Jeremy Tamsworth - Accountant

**Produce Oversight Team:**

* Riccardo Midlands - Director of Produce Oversight
* Royston Farwell - Produce Oversight Representative

**Office Secretaries:**

* Abiraz - Receptionist
* Susanna McMahon - Office Manager
Thugmaster

Thugmaster is a Mercenary born on 6th July 1989 to Mr. Capulet as Thug Capulet. Thug took martial arts lessons when he could throw a punch (which was around the age of four) and became a frequent fighter in his father's boxing ring. Mr. Capulet discovered a parentless Gunther Bianchi and took him under his wing, to the irritation of Thug. Gunther was 18, he started fighting in Mr. Capulet's underground boxing ring under the name "Girthy Gunther". Thug, who had became known as the infamous Thugmaster, acted as Mr. Capulet's bodyguard and had a rivalry with Gunther for a while.

In 2006, The Black and Pink Legs Mafia performed an attack on Mr. Capulet's lemon fields (probably orchestrated by Letak Lemons), Mr. Capulet sent Gunther and Thugmaster to defend his fields. Gunther and Thugmaster fought an early version of the Lemon Brigade (created by Witold Letak to combat turf wars) and beat them to a pulp. However, the two of them were surrounded by Lemoncopters though Thugmaster escaped, leaving Gunther with Letak Lemons. Mr. Capulet discovered that Gunther had changed allegiances and prepared for a fight.

## Thugmaster

### Aliases

Thug Capulet (Real name)
Master Thug

Lord of the Thug's

### Relatives

Jebidiah Thornton
Montgomery Thornton

Sasha Thornton

## Biographical information

### Date of death

2006 (Faked)
2009 (Faked)

### Place of death

Sicily, Italy (Faked)
Sofia, Bulgaria (Faked)

## Appearances

### Debut

2006

Gunther fought a man known as Squirrel whilst Gunther went to kill his father. Thugmaster smashed Squirrel's mouth when he discovered that his father had died and everyone involved with him were going to get arrested. Thugmaster grabbed 5 employees and fled the island. He became a mercenary and the leader of a gang of Thugs.

Thugmaster has been hired for many operations and has succeeded with all of them except from his 2013 mission to kill Bernard Smith which nearly ended with Thugmaster in jail. However, he managed to escape in time and discovered a mercenary known as The Man in Maroon who is a known enemy of Thornton Stationery Company - Kensington & Chelsea Branch.

In January 2014 Thugmaster freed The Man in Maroon with the help of his relative: The Person in Purple. The trio formed the Roseate Hit-Man Society (RHS) along with a former Thornton Assassin, Mr. Mustang and Simon Jericho. The organisation was disbanded after the "Chair Club" incident.

## Gallery

Thugmaster TrainingThugmaster fighting Squirrel
Nigel Sinclair

### Occupation

Regional Sales Director at Thornton Stationery Manchester Branch (21 September 2021 - present)Salesman at Thornton Stationery Manchester Branch (2019 - 21 September 2021)

## Appearances

### Debut

2019

Nigel Sinclair (born 17 March 2000) is a humble hard working lad from Wigan. He is currently the Regional Sales Director of the Thornton Stationery Company - Manchester Branch. He previously worked as a Coal miner with his father in the pits of Wigan, however decided to attend art college which inspired him to join Thornton Stationery in 2019.

Nigel is a humble, happy optimistic boy who was raised in a happy household. His father and mother would always tell him ''Nigel, don't be a geezer.'' And Nigel listened. Nigel was a well liked boy at school, however often got in trouble with a gang of young ruffians who named themselves the Wigan Posse.

In 2018, Nigel enrolled into art college, where he met Luke Haynes. Luke donned a large red fake fur coat, with brown boots. Nigel at first was suspicious of Luke, interrogating him thoroughly. However, Luke said ''Woah dude, calm down man. Life is all about beauty, g. Here, have some weed.'' Nigel was won over.

At this same college, Nigel met Stefan Beckett a week later whilst Nigel was in the toilets, weeing. Stefan was swimming around in the bath, practicing for his swimming competition, and Nigel befriended him. Nigel, Luke and Stefan all shared the fact that they were hassled by the Wigan Posse, and they wanted revenge. They soon formed the Wigan Town Massive, composed of them and their friend, Gary. Gary, however left the gang on the 6th of August 2018, and was replaced with Oliver Kruger, an employee of Carphone Warehouse, who Luke had known since Primary School.
UK and Northern Ireland Branches

## London Branches

* Camden Branch
* Croydon Branch - Closed
* Hackney Branch
* Hammersmith & Fulham Branch
* Haringey Branch
* Islington Branch
* Kensington & Chelsea Branch
* Kingston upon Thames Branch
* Lambeth Branch
* Southwark Branch
* Tower Hamlets Branch
* Westminster Corporate Branch

## Other English Branches

* Birmingham Branch
* Bristol Branch
* Chelmsford Branch
* Hull Branch
* Liverpool Branch
* Manchester Branch
* Milton Keynes Branch
* Northampton Branch
* Norwich Branch
* Salford Branch
* Slough Branch
* Southwark Branch
* Swindon Branch
* Torquay Branch
* Watford Branch
* Wolverhampton Branch

## Other UK Branches

* Aberdeen Branch
* Belfast Branch
* Cork Branch
* Dublin Branch
* Edinburgh Branch
* Glasgow Branch
* Perth Branch
Domino Mercutio

Born October 8th 1977, Domino Mercutio is the current owner of the West Indie Bacchus Company (WIBC) and an enemy against Letak Lemons and Jasper Scunthorpe.

## Domino Mercutio

### Aliases

Bacchus
The Grape God

### Affiliation

WIBC
Letak Lemons

TACA

## Appearances

### Debut

2015

Domino was born in Palermo, Sicily to Alberto and Laura Mercutio. He became interested in the selling of Sicilian lemons on the same island and a talk from Letak Lemons was given in his school. He later had a talk with Witold Letak about making his own company, however, Witold laughed in his face and told him nothing could rival Letak Lemons' power. Domino was infuriated by this and decided to become interested in grapes instead.

Domino began praying to Bacchus, god of wine every night. This disturbed his father who decided to get a therapist for him but was killed in a car accident on the way there. Domino was very upset but saw this as a sign that he must continue his mission. He became an employee of WIBC in 2000 and worked his way up the company ladder until he was totally trusted by Archimedes Russo. After Archimedes' death in 2012, Domino became the new owner of WIBC.

Domino never agreed with Archimedes in that they must keep the peace with Letak Lemons so declared industrial war on them in the same year. He also hired TACA to destroy some of their buildings but was ultimately foiled due to Jasper Scunthorpe getting involved.

In 2015 Domino tried to administer a love potion into Jasper, the plan worked but was foiled after Vlad Petrov administered Trenlain into Jasper's system.
Derek Hobbs

Derek Angelou Hobbs (19th of January 1967) is a rich playboy philanthropist, eye-doctor, owner of a sunglasses company, podcaster, and H.R. Rep at Thornton Stationery Company - Kensington & Chelsea Branch.

Derek Hobbs is a genius inventor and rich industrialist, who suits up in his battle attire to fight misbehaving teenagers on the streets of West London. Hobbs was motivated by his troubled upbringing at the hands of Stanley and Laura Hobbs - two vile people of no integrity. Derek was raised to live like a shit person.

When Hobbs was 15, he ran away from Stockport to Rochdale. Hobbs ran a small pirate radio show in Rochdale from 1984 to 1988. On this radio show, he would interview various locals about their lives. It was a local favourite in Rochdale due to the fact that Hobbs would always be drunk and end up fighting the guest. It was presumed that this was staged - however it was not. Hobbs broke the bones of over 32 people from 1984 to 1988.

In 1984, Derek hired the Fred Wentsworth Multi-Media Cosmic Tangerine Experience to perform at his 16th birthday party. This was where Derek Hobbs met Denzel Pepper, who was a goth at the time. Denzel was impressed with Derek's party organizing skills and decorations, however the two did not stay in contact.

In 1985, Derek was jailed overnight due to partaking in several riots against Margaret Thatcher during the Miners Strike. After his release, he became a builder and swore to take down Margaret Thatcher. He worked for a company called Treebound Incorporate.

In May 1988, Hobbs set up his first company - Hobbs Industries Unlimited. He set out to create the first mobile phone, however was not able to due to a lack of funding. He claimed that Apple stole his 19 year old idea for an iPhone in 2006.
The Claypan Gang

The Claypan Gang are a notorious Biker Gang active in Whitby, Scarborough and Manchester. It is partly funded by Thornton Stationery Company. They released two songs: Biblical Boy by Jacquees and Born To be Horrid by Hugo.

## Members

* ''Jovial'' Jacquees Higgins - Leader (to be referred to as, Lord High Excellent Majesty of the Claypan Gang)
* ''Horrid'' Hugo Higgins - Second in Command (deputy head)
* "Joyous" Jesse Johnston (Now referred to as "Lucky" Life-Man) - Third in Command
* ''Valiant'' Victor Strongbow - Fourth in Command
* "Aerobic" Amarcio Salamandre - Fifth in Command
* ''Brash" Bradley Stevenson - Former Sixth in Command - Kicked out of the Claypans by Hugo Higgins due to acts of hooliganism on a ferry in Amsterdam, Holland.
* "Clever" Conrad Evans - Current Sixth in Command

## Headquarters

The headquarters of the Claypan Gang is a fort built in Jacquees and Hugo's back garden. It was once threatened to be demolished by Mother Higgins, but with the help of Life-Man and Jebidiah Thornton, it was kept and rebuilt. It is mainly a bunch of bars like monkey bars with a purple tarpaulin over it and an old sofa and a massive golden throne inside.

## Trivia

* The Gang was formed in 1991 but didn't become popular until 1994 when they became infamous for their various schemes and plots of theft, loansharking and violence. As well as this, the gang are famous for their aggressive behaviour and antagonistic and egotistical attitude.
* The Claypans also started an infamous riot after Life-Man was thrown in jail for 27 hours due to the fact that he broke an old man's arm. This incident led to the introduction of Mark Wilkes.
* The Gang has hired Mark Wilkes to protect them multiple times in cases involving the law, though Wilfred Pebble has also acted as their lawyer.
* The Gang own a Fight Club in the basement of a pub belonging to Victor in Whitby.
* The Gang were infamously expelled from a ferry in Amsterdam after acts of violence towards West Ham supporters were carried out by Bradley Stevenson. He was later expelled from the gang itself after they made their return to Burnage from Amsterdam. Bradley is currently believed to be a Millwall Ultra and is speculated to be residing in a 3 room flat in Peckham.
* When Jasper Scunthorpe, DeSaad Pepper and Wilfred went to multiple pubs in Whitby, The Claypans offered protection due to their knowledge of their coolness.
* Armacio threw up on the same baby that Bernard Smith threatened to clobber after he thought the baby was a penguin. This was around the time that the gang started taking MDMA or Ectsay.

## Gallery

Life-Man, Bradley Stevenson and Victor Strongbow interviewing Jacquees in 1991Jacquees arranging the details of the Claypans' first drug dealJacquees on an acid tripBradley Stevenson, Life-Man and Jacquees waiting for a buyerHugo and Jacquees intimidating a rival gang
Toulouse Branch

The Toulouse branch of Thornton Stationery is based in the west of Toulouse. The Toulouse Branch is the third most successful branch out of all of the French Branches. It was opened in January 1993 after Jebidiah Thornton learnt of a new stationery company called Reginald Stationery Inc. and decided to expand his business to the France.

## Employees

**Management:**

* Hugo Higgins - CEO
* Quincy Quinville - Regional Branch Manager

**Sales Team:**

* Xever De Arquette - Regional Sales Director
* Montague Moulin - Sales Representative
* Emilien Toussaint - Sales Representative
* Mainfred Guillory - Sales Representative

**Accounting Team:**

* Eloise Fournier - Chief Accountant
* Beau Beaufort - Accountant
* Harvey D'Ecclès - Accountant

**Produce Oversight Team:**

* Lucien Granger - Director of Quality Assurance
* Richard Dufort - Director of Produce Oversight
* Percival Allemand - Produce Oversight Representative
* Dion Auclair - Customer Service Representative

**Office Secretaries:**

* Jean Darwine - Receptionist
* Oceane Dubois - Office Administrator

**Marketing Team:**

* Pom "Pom Pom" Corbin - Director of Marketing

**Human Resources Team:**

* Kiki Tremblay - H.R. Team Leader
* Bruce Abreo - H.R. Representative
* Vardon Bloyer - H.R. Representative
Paris Branch

The Paris branch of Thornton Stationery is based in the centre of Paris. The Paris Branch is the most successful branch out of all of the French Branches. It was opened in 1992 after Jebidiah Thornton learnt of a new stationery company called Reginald Stationery Inc. and decided to expand his business to the France.

## Employees

**Management:**

* Hugo Higgins - CEO
* Jimmy Corbertt - Regional Branch Manager
* Manon Lemaire - Assistant regional Manager

**Sales Team:**

* Alfonso Lacroix - Regional Sales Director
* Raoul Duplantier - Sales Team Leader
* Aubert Bain - Sales Representative
* Pierre Gustav - Sales Representative

**Accounting Team:**

* Adèle Garnier - Chief Accountant
* Gaspare Sélestat‎‎ - Accountant
* Camille Sélestat‎ - Accountant

**Director of Produce Oversight:**

* Sunny "Son" Simple- Director of Quality Assurance
* Manny Mulich - Director of Produce Oversight
* Darcy Montpellier - Produce Oversight Representative
* Gerhard Bach - Customer Service Representative

**Human Resources Team:**

* Raphaël Dupont - H.R. Team Leader
* Sacha Laurent - H.R. Representative
* Chloé Lavigne - H.R. Representative

## Former employees

* Alan Reginald - Salesperson - June 2014 to April 2016 - Fired after being discovered to work for Reginald Stationery Inc.
* Denzel Pepper - Regional manager - July 2003 to July 2006 - Left after helping the branch become better at their selling
* Elvis Mada - Salesperson - August 2000 to September 2000 - Quit after stealing a cat
* Clyde - H.R. Representative - November 2002 - July 2003 - Fired after being revealed by Denzel to be internationally wanted for terrorism.
Rupert Foster

Rupert John Foster (born 3 November 1971) is the Regional Manager of Thornton Stationery Company - Glasgow Branch, member of the Scottish Labour Party and a chief farmer in the League of Scottish Farmers.

## Rupert Foster

### Affiliation

The Scottish Labour Party Thornton Stationery Glasgow Branch

Scottish League of Farmers

### Occupation

Regional Manager of Thornton Stationery Glasgow Branch
Trevor Stansfield

The Cranberry Delight

### Occupation

President of Greater London Sales at Thornton Stationery (2014 - present)Salesman at Thornton Stationery Kensington & Chelsea Branch (1995 - 2014)

Employee at the DPDA (1988 - present)

## Appearances

### Debut

1995

Trevor Gregory Stansfield (born 16th of September 1970) is the President of Sales in the Greater London area of Thornton Stationery. He also worked as a salesman for the Kensington & Chelsea Branch from 1995 to 2014.

Trevor was born in Chesterfield to a working class household. At the age of 16, Trevor and his parents moved to Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire. In October 1986, Trevor saw a live performance of the West Yorkshire Stationery Association. He describes this experience as ''A psychedelic 60s' inspired event.'' After the show, Trevor attempted to interview Julia Crosston, however Julia responded to him by saying ''Scram, you little punk!'', and then punched him.

In March 1987, Trevor joined the West Yorkshire Stationery Association. He looked up to the members (Denzel Pepper, Fred Wentsworth, Julia Crosston, and Bernard Smith) as his heroes. Trevor would remain loyal to Denzel all throughout the rest of his life.

In July 1995, Trevor started work at the Kensington and Chelsea Branch as the Office Secretary. He was frequently invited to sales pitches as moral support.

In 2014, Trevor was offered a job at Thornton Stationery Corporate as President of London and South-Eastern Sales. This essentially put him in charge of all sales teams of branches in London and the South-East.
Torquay Branch

The Torquay Branch of Thornton Stationery Company is a quaint branch located 'pon the seaside. It is populated by a group of surfers. It has a deadly rivalry with Thornton Stationery Company - Paigton Branch.

## Employees

**Management**

* Hugo Higgins - CEO
* Robert Ward - Regional Branch Manager

**Sales Team**

* Malcolm Quincy - Sales Team Leader
* Niko - Salesperson
* Angus - Salesperson
* Jarrod Nicener - Salesperson
Alen Wretcham

### Occupation

Regional Manager & Regional Director of Sales at Thornton Stationery Tower Hamlets Branch

## Appearances

### Debut

2005

Alen Gregory Wretcham (borrn 8th of October 1980) is the Regional Manager as well as Regional Director of Sales at Thornton Stationery Tower Hamlets Branch. He is the cold, calculated master of sales analasys at Tower Hamlets Branch, and looked up to greatly by his fellow co-workers.
Johnny Cobblepot

Fit Man

Hard Man

Lard Man

The British Peoples (2007 - present)

Thornton Stationery (2012 - present)

Johnny Nelson Cobblepot (born 12 September 1983) works as a Marketing Consultant for Thornton Stationery Company Kensington & Chelsea Branch, and part time as a therapist. Cobblepot grew up in Jaywick Sands, Essex, to his mother. In 1986, Johnny's mother left him when they were visiting their grandparents in Surrey. This left Johnny to be raised by his grandparents, Marla and Bobby.

Marla and Bobby were an upper class couple, and raised Johnny in lavish style and grandiose. They were however shunned by their neighbours due to being Labour voters during the 80s and 90s. Johnny loved his grandparents very much. In 2002, his grandfather gave Johnny his groovy, funky, funktacular clothes from the 60s, Johnny thus bought his grandfather a meeting with his grandfather's hero, Jimmy Savile. Grandad Cobblepot however thought Savile was a big massive nonce, and knocked him out. His grandfather cried about Savile's noncery for five days.

In the year 2000, Johnny was given a car by his grandparents for his 17th birthday - a yellow T-Reg Chevette. Johnny was no spoiled twat, so he accepted this gladly. Due to his amazing T-Reg Chevette, Johnny dated many women from the years of 2000 - 2004.

In 2005, Johnny got an internship at a legal firm, however was fired a year later for driving his T-Reg Chevette into the office building.
Jimmy Corbertt

Jimmy Corbertt was born on the 18th January 1987 in the French capital of Paris to Maximus Corbertt and Jean Corbertt. He was incredibly gifted in the intelligence department and he studied extensively when he was at a young age. Since his parents were incredibly wealthy, they allowed him to have private tutors and causing Jimmy's intelligence to increase exponentially. He would always be at the very peak in terms of intellect within his class and would ace every assessment that came his way. His one downfall was the fact that when people not as gifted as him answered a question incorrectly he would laugh at them like a hearty hyena.

## Jimmy Corbertt

### Aliases

The King
The Smartest Man in France

Mr. Rire

### Relatives

Maximus Corbertt (Father)
Jean Corbertt (Mother)

Alison Corbertt (Wife)

Marie Corbertt (Daughter

### Affiliation

Thornton Stationery Company
Le Massif Parisien

Paris historical Re-enactment Society

### Occupation

Branch Manager at Thornton Stationery Company Paris Branch

## Appearances

### Debut

2011

After school he became increasingly interested about the monarchies of the world and decided to study history and economics at Université PSL (Paris Sciences and Lettres) which is the best university in the entirety of France. After achieving substantial success at university, he then made the decision to join the Paris Historical Re-enactment society in 2001 and portrayed himself as a king (as seen on the image to the right). He thoroughly enjoyed re-enactment their but realised that he should get a job instead of surviving on his parents extreme wealth, so he offered services to the people of Paris that required his intellect. One of his most notable attempts to fulfil a service was when Le Massif Parisien hired him to help them run as senators within the National Assembly of France. They nearly got elected, but at the last minute were betrayed by one Alastair Bain, who wanted to be a senator for himself.

In 2005, thanks to Denzel Pepper, Jimmy got a job at as a Salesperson for Thornton Stationery Company Paris Branch and eventually became Regional Manager. In 2016, the French Thornton Stationery branches met up and discovered that there was a collaborator with Reginald Stationery Inc. within the company and they were suspected of selling Thornton's information to the rival company in order to surpass Thornton in sales. Jimmy, with his excellent deduction skills, identified the suspect easily. It was Reginald's own son who had used a fake name to avoid any suspicion. He was chased and hunted down until he eventually made his way to a pier in Normandy where he was rescued by his corrupt, immoral father.
Richard Quicksworth

### Affiliation

Islington Chip Boys (1989 - 1992)Thornton Stationery Islington Branch (1993 - present)

### Occupation

Chief Accountant at Thornton Stationery Islington Branch

## Appearances

### Debut

1993

Richard Barnaby Quicksworth (born 18 January 1960) is the Chief Accountant at Thornton Stationery Company Islington Branch. Quicksworth began working there in 1993. He is known for his short temper. He often has outbursts of anger, where he shouts vulgar profanities.

When Quicksworth married his husband, Martin Martinelli, in 1994 he was verbally assaulted by two BNP members. In response Quicksworth ran to them, performed a somersault and spun them round, throwing them into the River Thames.
Thornton Stationery Company

Thornton Stationery Company Incorporated Limited Unlimited is a stationery/office supply company founded in 1839 by Rutherford Lesley Cragglethorne. The company is one of the largest suppliers of stationery in England. The company has several rivals, including: Marshall Stationery Industries, Reginald Stationery Inc., Faber-Castell, Staples and previously Jerusalem Pens and Pencils until Jebidiah took over the Jerusalem Stationery industry.

The company began life as a small shop in Whitechapel, ran by Rutherford Cragglethorne and his sister, who made all supplies with their lovely hands. Cragglethorne reigned as CEO until his death in 1860, and was replaced by a series of CEOs who wasted far too much company money. On 23rd March 1995, Jebidiah Thornton overtook the company from William Tansworth after a huge scandal was aroused because of the fact that Tansworth was spending company money on massive holidays to Barbados, and made several large changes, such as changing the name to Thornton Stationery. In June 2021, Jebidiah Thornton was overthrown and replaced with his son, Montgomery, who is running the company to this day.
Lord Stanley Cragglethorne 1st Baron Royston

Baron Royston

The House of Lords

HM Privy Council

Tories

Whigs

Lord Alfred Stanley Cragglethorne (1761 - 1824) was born as Alfred Cragglethorne on 23rd March in Devon, England. When Alfred was 17, the King George III gave him the title of Baron of Royston. In 1796, he ran as a Tory MP for the House of Commons in the borough of Royston, where he paid all the 12 year olds eligible to vote to vote for him. He won and stayed MP for another two terms, until he was given the title of Lord by the Prime Minister, Lord Grenville, and moved to the House of Lords, where he moved to the Whig faction. In 1812, Lord Cragglethorne brought a bear in to the House of Lords and shouted ''Tis my wife, pray, you lot! She will devour all who disagree with mine own vote!'' He was suspended for a year, until he paid a sum of £30 (£2,181.89 in today's money) to the Privy Council to unsuspend him.

In 1820, Lord Cragglethorne drunkenly shagged a bench in the House of Commons.

Lord Cragglethorne also claimed that he was a wizard, with magical abilities. He claimed that in a dream, Satan himself came to him and shagged a female version of Satan.

Lord Cragglethorne was the father of Andrew Cragglethorne who later founded Cragglethorne Stationery Company.

Lord Cragglethorne died in 1823 after being eaten by his bear, Tatiana.
Denzel Pepper Miscellaneous Events

*This page is for Denzel's appearances that do not fit elsewhere.*

## The Denzel Pepper Game-Show (1977)

In June of 1977, Denzel convinced his head-teacher to organize an elaborate contest, set up like a game-show. The contest featured Denzel's school-friends, including Neil Paramore and a boy only remembered by Denzel as ''Beefy Bruce''. All students from the ages of 13 - 15 were forced to watch the show. This is believed to have been the first instance that Denzel used tin-foil as decorations. According to Neil Paramore, the stage in the hall was completely covered in Tin-Foil. The show lasted two hours and a half.

In September 1977, a controversy arose, claiming that the game-show was rigged by Denzel so that Neil Paramore would win. Denzel and Neil offer no comment.

## Green Grass of Home (1983)

Green Grass of Home is a multi-media experience organized by Fred Wentsworth. It took form in an hour long play, which included performers such as Denzel Pepper, Biff Fletcher, Neil Paramore, Apollo Grey, and Beefy Bruce. The play took place in 1975 in a diskotheque in New York City, and ended in Denzel eating a plate of fake shit.

Dates:

* Late November 1983 - Halifax Piece Hall
* Late November 1983 - Unnamed Bar in Hebden Bridge
* 8 December 1983 - Unknown Location
* 10 December 1983 - The Lantern, Halifax

## The Denzel Pepper Disko Explosion (1986)

In late November 1986, Denzel organized an extravaganza at Halifax Piece Hall. He performed an hour long set with several Disko songs he wrote, accompanied by Captain Death on his grandmother's Yamaha Portasound keyboard. The event was dubbed ''The Denzel Pepper Disko Explosion''. Before his hour long set, he partook in a 45 minute long play which was written and directed by Fred Wentsworth. This play took place in the audience, rather than the main stage.

## The Denzel Pepper Christmas Panto (1988)

The Denzel Pepper Christmas Panto was an Alternate Reality Game planned by Denzel over the course of four months in 1988. Denzel aimed to create a gaim so realistic that everyone would be convinced that it was real. Denzel was helped to organize this event by Cray-Cray Owen, Cecil Longstaff, Tim Crescent, Fred Wentsworth, Bernard Smith, and Benjamin Sellars.

More Details.
Julia Crosston

Julia Crosston (born 27th of August 1963) is a Security Guard at Wiggleton C.O. and salesperson at Thornton Stationery Company - Kensington and Chelsea Branch. She has been married to Faye Crosston since 1994.

Julia was born in Dublin, but raised in Halifax, West Yorkshire. She began her professional sales career at the age of 15 when she sold her mother's blue Vespa Scooter at the local market. In 1982, Julia became a bodyguard for Brody - the hippest man in all of West Yorkshire. Julia became well known in West Yorkshire for being the toughest hired gun around.

In March of 1984, Julia was hired as a bodyguard for Denzel Pepper - local goth, and former fishmonger. Later, in April of that same year, Julia joined the West Yorkshire Stationery Association, an association which gave long speeches to pubs and similar places about the beauty and integrity of stationery.
DPDA Case No.4

The fourth case of the DPDA was a psychologically scarring experience. It features the first appearance of Bernard Smith appearing alongside the DPDA. The Following case file is written by Benjamin Sellars.

## Case File

It was a cold and frosty April morning. Myself, Cecil, Tim and Denzel travelled up to the Peak District to Bernard Smith's holiday cabin. Bernard is a young well-bred man, 22 years of age. He was a tall man, about 6'1. He was rather muscular and well built. Denzel and Tim knew him from work. Denzel met him four years ago when Bernard volunteered to return a dog that had followed Denzel home to it's rightful owner. I met him in 1987, when I joined the Halifax Hooligans. He is a kind, well-meaning but intimidating man.

Bernard called us last week and asked if we wanted to come over for tea. He promised he'd serve us strawberries and cream, so naturally we were all sold right away. There would be two other people coming - Tobias Walker and Gunter Herrmann. Bernard, Tim and Denzel all live with each other in a South London flat, so Cecil and I met them outside of there. We all hopped in Bernard's lime green Chevrolet Corvette C3. Tim and Bernard sat in front, Denzel, me and Cecil in the back. We started driving up to the Peak District. I fell asleep for most of the ride, whilst Tim, Bernard and Denzel were popping LSD pills.
Lucius Fox

Foxie

The Fresh Fade Fox

The Dandelion

Cadbury (2005 - 2011)

Colgate (2011 - 2020)

Thornton Stationery (2020- Present)

MI6 (Speculated, Unknown)

Lucius Dandelion Fox (born 29th May 1987) (not to be confused with Lucius Fox from DC Comics) is the Director of Produce Oversight at Thornton Stationery Company - Kensington & Chelsea Branch. Lucius was born in Wombwell, however lives in Berrylands, London. Lucius started working at Thornton Stationery in August 2020.

Lucius was born to a working class family in Wombwell, Barnsley. He is also known to be a genius. When he was four years old, he wrote a 274 page essay with perfect grammar and handwriting. In Primary School, Lucius started a stationery black market for other students who had lost their pens and pencils. Lucius managed to keep it a secret and by the time he was 10 he had made an extraordinary 1000 GBP. In High School, at the age of 12, Lucius founded and was the leader of The Wombwell Stationery Mafia. By the time he had to leave high school to attend college he had made an estimated sum 50,000 GPB from his criminal endeavours.

Lucius attended Cambridge University at the age of 18 in 2005 studying Law, Criminology and Economics. He earned a professorship in all of these subjects within only 11 months. This could be an explanation as to why Lucius is an MI6 operative whilst also being highly successful in the world of business.

Lucius knows almost everything about everyone in the Thornton Stationery Company without even knowing them personally. This makes many people believe Lucius has ties with MI6 or another British Government Service.

Lucius Fox is an extraordinarily intelligent, composed, diligent, dedicated and easy-going individual whose ability in technological advancement might surpass even that of Ernest's. He retains a matter-of-fact perspective which allows him to properly observe a situation with accuracy and clarity, and further allows him to explain the complexity of various inventions in a laconic vocalization. Being a close friend to Ernest); Lucius Fox is able crack jokes in deadpan and professional tone, the fact that Ernest trusts Lucius Fox enough with Ernest's secret of being from Barrow adds a layer to his character: Trustworthiness.
Raphaël Dupont

Raphaël Dupont was born in April 1st 1979 in Avignon, France to Jacques Dupont and Raquel Dupont. Raphaël grew up in a crime ridden neighbourhood so he knew who to trust and who not to trust. His dad owned a nightclub and his mum was a teacher at his local school. Raphaël did get an education and was known for being an excellent tactician in games such as football or basketball. He was also known for making friends with everyone but sometimes avoiding certain people just to make sure he wouldn't be looked down upon in life.

## Raphaël Dupont

### Affiliation

The Black and Pink Legs MafiaThornton Stationery Company

## Appearances

### Debut

1999

After Raphaël finished College he gave up on the idea of university and became interested in a local mafia group that had arrived in his town. The Black and Pink Legs Mafia were setting up a HQ in France and needed a very inconspicuous location to hide from site. Raphaël helped them and eventually became chief advisor for situations in Avignon and later, Paris.

When Raphaël moved to Paris to help the Black and Pink Legs Mafia relocate, he discovered Thornton Stationery Company - Paris Branch and fell in love with the company. It helped as well that Thornton had close ties with the mafia so Raphaël was making that bond ever stronger. He became a H.R. Rep in 1999 and later became a H.R. Team Leader in 2003.

In 2011 he and Jasper Scunthorpe joined together to help the Black and Pink Legs Mafia take back the island of Corsica (which was being held captive by Raz the Fearful and his cronies).

Raphaël also assisted Jimmy Corbertt, in 2016, to help identify who the traitor was in the French branch meet up. He later punched the traitor in the stomach for betrayal and asked for him to be tortured. He was not granted this wish.
Birmingham Branch

The Birmingham Branch of Thornton Stationery is the best performing Branch in the whole of Thornton, founded in 1953. It was founded as a celebration of Josef Stalin's death and received 500 employee applications.

## Employees

**Management:**

* Hugo Higgins - CEO
* Bartram Ambrose - Regional Branch Manager

**Sales Team:**

* Albert Jetsworth - Sales Team Leader
* Chantelle Finsbury - Sales Representative
* Nicholas Lennie - Sales Representative

**Accounting Team:**

* Maisy Damian - Chief Accountant
* Woody Allyson - Accountant

**Produce Oversight Team:**

* Richard Guise - Director of Produce Oversight
* Ronan Piers - Customer Service Representative
* Brenton Ward - Customer Service Representative

**Marketing Team:**

* Paul Zimmerman - Director of Marketing

**H.R. Reps:**

* Rosemarie Grafton - H.R. Team Leader
* Macaulay Thorley - H.R. Representative
Phil de'MonteCarlo

The chosen one

The fire of desire

### Affiliation

Philadelphia Cream Cheese (1976 - 1980)Thornton Stationery Company (1997 - present)

### Occupation

Chief Accountant at Thornton Stationery Kingston upon Thames branch

## Appearances

### Debut

1997

Phil de'MonteCarlo (born 23 February 1969) is the Chief Accountant of Thornton Stationery Kingston upon Thames Branch. He is also known as Monty, and Phil. Phil's mother was a huge fan of Philadelphia cream cheese. Prior to Phil's birth, she had Philadelphia cream cheese merchandise, records, however no actual Philadelphia Cream Cheese, as she was allergic. Phil was named after Philadelphia cream cheese, however has always referred to himself as Phil.

Phil was forced by his mother to star in 293 Philadelphia cream cheese commercials from 1976 - 1980. Through this, Phil became a child star. In 1992, Phil got hooked on alcohol. Phil's life was quickly heading in a downwards spiral, until 1997 when he took a job interview at a modelling agency called Thornton Modelling co. - a division of Thornton Stationery Co.

Phil became a full time model for Thornton Stationery. He would appear in Thornton Stationery Catalogues, holding pencils, pens, and other various Thornton Items, such as the Thornton watches that were produced from 1998 - 2004. Phil was best known for dressing up as a Thornton Pencil and running around in the House of Commons during a parliamentary session. For this, Phil was arrested, but released after Jebidiah Thornton, CEO of Thornton Stationery paid an undisclosed amount of money to the Speaker of the house.

In 2007, Phil decided to interview for position of Chief Accountant for Thornton Stationery Kingston upon Thames branch. As he was the only applicant, he got the job.
Guccio Swanson

Guccio Swanson (born 3rd of September 1962) is the Co-Regional Manager of Thornton Stationery Company - Haringey Branch. He was raised in Étretat, France, and is currently in an open relationship.

## The 70s

In 1964, Guccio and his family moved to Coventry, where he immediately established himself as a force to be reckoned with. He got along well with the neighbour-kids, as well as the local Bobby, however, in 1973, disaster struck. At his middle-school, Guccio got into a squarrel with a local gang leader - Gabe Exley, a short, obese farmer-boy. The fight began because Guccio stood up to Exley's homophobic and racist ramblings. He broke Exley's penis. This got him into trouble with the police, and the boy's racist family. However, the police soon turned to Guccio's side, as the local policeman was in fact Guccio's uncle, Adebayo Swanson. Guccio's punishment was 3 months of helping the local elders, which Guccio loved.

In 1975, Guccio got his first job as an intern at a journalist agency.
The Legendary Great Right Hook

The Great Right Hook is a move that can only be mastered by the bruisers. It is sometimes called ''The Bernard Punt''. There have only been a few bruisers in history to master this move:

Bernard Smith the Bruiser

Barry the Bruiser

Bethany the Bruiser

Brody the Bruiser

Mark ''Sparks'' Wilkes the Bruiser

Life-Man also was taught by Bernard to be a bruiser but after his lover disappeared, Life-Man gave up his life of violence but he knows a version that has been dubbed "The Sufficient Right Hook".

## How to Do

Instructions:

Raise your right fist and generate the anger of a thousand black horses, galloping graciously through the sky. You must hold this anger until your lips turn blue, your eyes go red, and your skin turns pale. Then you will rise 0.1 mm above the ground. What you want to do then is utter the words ''GreaT righT hooK'' very calmly. Then you strike with the speed of a lightning bolt. But most importantly, do NOT shit yourself during this move. It may be fatal.