The Adventures of Chris Fable (GAM243)

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***The Adventures of Chris Fable*** (also known as ***The Wylds***) is the story of a "Chris" figure guided by his Faith (his friend Faith, who's name is Faith), as he tries to overcome the influence of an evil prince of darkn… darkitude, and find the Celestial City (a real municipality that may or may not represent something else).

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because we want to feel what it's like to be essential.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you loved *The Pilgrim's Progress*, but sitting backwards on a chair and reading it doesn't seem to be reaching these kids, you will *love* this movie. It's *A Christian Youth Pastor Doing Ten-Year-Old Slang: The Movie*.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: ...fat pony.
* Caitlin: ...ancillary characters who appear in one scene and then never show up again.
* Noah: ...YouTube ads. [eg. *The Epoch Times*]
* Eli: ...temptations of the devil. [Neon 1980s videogames]

### **Notes**

* Check out Caitlin on Twitter, Instagram, The Bechdel Cast, and at her website.
* The film was released in 2010 as *The Wylds*, but was re-released by Green Apple Entertainment as *The Adventures of Chris Fable* in 2012, substituting a *Harry Potter*/*The Chronicles of Narnia* vibe for the explicit "Inspired by John Bunyan's *The Pilgrim's Progress*" tagline.
* This film does not pass the Bechdel Test (also, more female characters die than are named).

### **Jokes**

* Also, if this production had access to a motorcycle why didn't they just mount the camera on the motorcycle and shoot the chase scene with that mount? They had a way to make that shot much steadier, and they just didn't do it. [Noah: So, here's the fucked up thing, is that I know from our previous experience doing this show that the guy who made this movie is listening to this Goddamn episode right now Caitlin, and heard you say that, and is like "Fuck! We did have that! Goddamnit!"] [Heath: "Oh, we had wheels! They're like round rolly things. Say it again, I gotta rewind… wheel-es?"] [Eli: Caitlin, you're going to get such a passive-aggressive Youtube comment from this guy. Just be read. Be ready.] Oh, I can't wait. Bring it. Slide into my mentions. [Eli: "I'll have you know it was my *uncle's* motorcycle, and we could not drill into the handlebars.] [Noah: What, am I supposed to drive that through the trailers? Didn't even think of that, did you? The trailers! Doesn't make sense…"] [Eli: "More like Blech-del Test."] (38:36)
* Wait, wait, ready for the really funny cool thing I wrote down? You know when drugs come to life and turn into a large reptile, like a crocodile? More like "crack-odile"! Because it's like crack-cocaine. [Noah: Okay, actually that pretty fucking good."] [Eli: You haven't just guested on this podcast madame, you have won Heath Enwright's heart!"] (45:34)

### **Interstitials**

* The First Ever Writer's Meeting for *The Adventures of Chris Fable*. (12:14)
* "You guys are just *covered* in dirt." (54:50)
* Satan Teaches Iggy How to Use *Zoom*. (1:12:26) [Doodly-Doo]
* "Have you heard the one about the time God killed some kids for making fun of a bald guy?" (1:20:44)

### **Tropes**

* And Then the Apocalypse/Rapture Happens
* A World Without Black People
* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* Giving Someone a Book/Reading Montage
* GO FUCK YOURSELF!
* Indoctrination of Children
* The Most Advanced C64 Ever!

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* [Episode on YouTube]
* Film on YouTube
* IMDB

### **As Reads**

* Box of Awesome - "Bill, bill, spam, spam, spam that pretends to be a cheque—you'd thing that would be illegal—death threat, bill..." (1:59:09)