Episode 212

Runtime
 Previous Episode

   Pete has an amazing reaction to finding a stranger's wallet and Sebastian hangs with Bill Burr!

## Topics discussed

* Pete takes a midweek break to the Ivy in Toronto with a horse-hair Hästen bed
* Pete is not a fan of the cool reception he receives upon re-entry to his native United States, suggests we annex Canada into the US
* A discussion of St Patrick's Day traditions
* Trump talk
* We check in with casting on Sebastian's pilot, his desire to take the cast out for a preshow dinner, friends coming in from out of town for the taping, he reaffirms is commitment to the Pete & Sebastian Show
* Sebastian "broke in" with the staff at Madeo, also recommends Michael Voltaggio’s Ink.
* Despite his objection to drugs, prostitution and murder, Pete thinks he would have thrived in the mafia due to his interests in pasta, smoking and spousal abuse.
* Sebastian breaks rice with Bill Burr in a double date over sushi.
* Pete tells a story of finding a wallet in Cleveland.
* Sebastian tells an anecdote of his brother-in-law's birthday weekend and division of restaurant tabs and a "stale" bill, contrasted with the generous tipping habits of Bill Burr and Brian Regan.
* Sebastian endures a 10-shuffle marathon shuffle session on a 7am flight.
* Pete's having trouble finding contractors to repair his wind-damaged roof
* A woman uses a pen to upgrade herself to Sebastian's first-class seat, causing much anguish until a patient stewardess intervenes
* Sebastian gifts DJ Lou 2 tickets to Pearl Jam at Madison Square Garden
* Billy Joel plays a private dinner in Naples, Florida

## Quotes from the episode

* Jimmy in Boston: "You can take a break from choppin down trees, or rippin telephone poles out of the ground..."
* Pete: "We’re not playing tiddlywinks in that thing…we’re gonna have some fun in that horse hair!"
* Sebastian: "Maybe even a piece of candy, something to welcome you back into the states!"
* Pete: "What are you? My fuckin mother? It’s none of your business."
* Pete: "I went over there to buy coke and kill dolphins, and I struck out. Alright guy?!"
* Sebastian: "How does someone look at a bed go; You know what? Go put some horse hair in it and see what it feels like."
* Pete: "I’d kill an animal for a good sleep, don’t get me wrong!"
* Pete: "I'm half Irish, I'll admit it...It's a white trash holiday!"
* Pete: "I'd walk in if I was the boss and go: Great outfit...you're fired!"
* Pete: "If I wasn't a comedian, I think I would've thrived in the mob."
* Attendant: "That's your good deed for the day." Pete: "Guy-for the day? This covers me for 4 months!"
* Pete: "He had the 20s mixed with 5s and 10s...what-did you just get back from a carnival?!"
* Pete: "When he said 'is there any way I can thank you?' I so wanted to say, 'Just vote Trump.' We'll be doing this kinda stuff all the time!"
* Pete: "I left your wallet at the hyatt, and here's my number in case you wanna call up and say I'm the fuckin' king!"
* Pete: "Bro, you're picking up the tab for the rest of your life!"
* Sebastian: "Meanwhile I'm sittin' here goin, 'Is anybody gonna pick up the hash browns?'"
* Pete: "I hate cards." Sebastian: "I hate cards with such a passion."
* DJ Lou: "The last time Pearl Jam played MSG was 2010, and to get in to that show, I had to tell Rosie O'Donnel that I would quit smoking."