Faire Trial

**Faire Trial** is the 7th Oxventure episode of Season 2 and the 19th episode overall, in which Egbert has to retake an exam.

## Synopsis

Dragonborn paladin Egbert the Careless is put to the test when his careless ways catch up with him. Join Corazón, Dob, Egbert, Merilwen and Prudence for guaranteed chaos.

## Summary

The episode begins in a field, with the Guild having a picnic, to make up for the one that got ruined so long ago. Dob has eaten some random berries and is tripping balls. An furious Seal Gaiman is eating out of a bowl of eggs as Egbert squirts him with water every so often. Corazón is slightly annoyed that Egbert has brought Seal to the picnic. Prudence spots a figure running towards them, who takes ten minutes to arrive. The figure is revealed to be a paladin named Max Williams. Max explains that they are a mounted inspector of the Global Paladin Order, but when the Guild ask where their horse is they explain that they don't have one, so they are an off stead inspector.

Max says they spotted Egbert and decided to interview him, to make sure their records are up to date. Egbert explains that he is no longer a member of The Noble Order of Le Dragon D'or, and has started his own order, The Order of La Vache Mauve, even though the only member so far is just him. Max finds this info interesting, but since Egbert hasn't updated his info within a year he'd have to retake The Trials, the examination that determines whether someone is worthy of being a paladin, which Ebert has already failed five times before being accepted. Max tells Egbert that he can take his friends with him, but if they are caught cheating they will be disqualified, so Max urges them not to cheat, or at the very least not to get caught, because Max will get in trouble if they do. Max then hands Egbert a map to the location of The Trials and a letter of summons, and then leaves to find more contenders.

The Guild then quiz Egbert on what to expect, who explains that they might have changed the test since he last took it, and the pass rate is about fifty-fifty. He also explains that only consequence of failing is waiting six months until the next Trials. Despite the low stakes, the Guild agrees to help him out, and they head out to the where the map says.

They jog through the two day walk within a day, during which Dob comes down from his high and finds that he's made a makeshift, foldable ramp to help Egbert. After collecting some supplies, they eventually arrive at their destination, and see that is is surrounded by a medieval fair. While everyone else tries out the various attractions, Egbert gets on a Ferris Wheel to meditate. It takes him a few goes round, but eventually La Vache Mauve appears. Egbert asks for advice, and La Vache Mauve tells him to use his new mace as a last resort, as there is a chance it will make his targets worse than how they started.

Meanwhile, Prudence has gotten some cotton candy and a balloon, which is a pigs bladder full of bees, and Dob has one a cuddle toy Minotaur. A boy is upset at the fact that Dob won the toy and not him, and Dob gives the boy ten gold, to which the boy runs towards the beer tent and yells out his plan to get wasted on gin. While everyone's distracted by the boy, Corazón steals money from the fair's cash box. Merilwen meanwhile is petting the horses and hears strange noises coming from behind them, making her realise that horses aren't the only animals at the fair.

Corazón finds the registration desk and show Egbert to it. Once registered, the woman at the desk informs him that his first event is jousting. Egbert tells his friends that he hasn't practised jousting is awhile. They then buy a pair of foam lances and Dob and Egbert "practice" by charging at each other with no horses, causing Egbert to send Dob flying. Thinking that they need no other practise, Egbert goes to get his horse. Meanwhile, the other plan to cheat behind Egbert's back. Merilwen goes off to encourage Egbert's mount while Corazón, Prudence and Dob go to eye up Egbert's opponent.

Corazón, Prudence and Dob arrive at the jousting grounds and learn that Egbert against a paladin named Cedric Allbright. They manage to spot Cedric, and approach him under the guise of reporters for "Knights Nightly Magazine" who want to interview him, but actually want to knock him out at and impersonate him. Cedric agrees to the interview, and they head off to his tent.

Meanwhile, Egbert arrives that the horse rental shop to rent a horse, but the man in charge tells him that he won't be needing a horse, as the organisers of The Trials have change the mounts to Griffons to make the jousting more exciting for the audience. Egbert then heads off to the mounts and spots Corazón and co. with Cedric. This makes Egbert worried, because Cedric was his childhood bully, and his worry is made even worse when he finds out he's against Cedric.

Egbert and Merilwen find Egbert's mount, which is indeed a Griffon. Merilwen tries to use Speak with Animals to talk to the Griffon, but it doesn't work. They do manage to bond with the Griffon, and Egbert manages to get on the Griffon without resistance. He is a bit unsure at first, as it is wildly different from riding a horse, but he manages to get the hang of it and befriend the Griffon.

Meanwhile, Corazón and co. are unaware of the Griffons, and proceed to go on with their plan. They arrive at Cedric's tent, which is on wheels in order to be brought along with him from place to place, and proceed with the interview. Corazón asks him why he sucks so much, which distracts Cedric long enough for Dob to cast Sleep on him and knock him out. They steal his belongings and his armour, and Corazón uses Disguise Self to look like Cedric. They then tie up and gag Cedric, and Dob puts Prudence's balloon of bees under a candle.

Corazón then joins Cedric entourage at the jousting grounds, who greet him with a fan fair. It is a this point Corazón learns about the Griffons, as he is lead to Cedric's bulky Griffon, who is slightly unsure if Corazón is Cedric or not. Corazón heads towards the jousting arena, just as he hears the real Cedric gets stung by the balloon bees.

As Corazón and Egbert square up Corazón gets the urge to tease him, but he ignores it and focuses on trying to throw the match. Cedric's Griffon isn't happy with Corazón riding him, and is very unsettled. The two charge at each other, and Corazón is thrown off his Griffon, and the crowd is impressed, except the people who bet on Cedric. "Cedric" announces that it has be proven that Egbert is far superior than him, and he is going to go punish himself by tying himself up and letting himself get stung by bees, and demands no one disturbs him.

Max appears before Egbert and congratulates him and leads Egbert to the next event. Egbert proceeds to ace the carriage reversing section, with such stile no less. Next is the pamphlet handing out section, in which paladins have to hand out pamphlet to a group of people in a pen, who don't seem to realise that they *are* in a pen, and there is a different pen for each paladin. To increase Egbert's chances, Dob casts Prestidigitation on another paladin to make him smell bad, so no one will accept his pamphlets. Corazón, who's undisguised himself, has snuck into Egbert's pen with Merilwen to convince the people in the pen to accept Egbert's pamphlets. Prudence meanwhile has gotten more candy floss and another balloon made of a cow's bladder which is filled with hornets.

Up next is the obstacle course, which is Egbert's favourite section, even though he can't remember it clearly due to it causing *many* concussions. The obstacle course is separated into four sections, after a steep ramp to run down. The first obstacle is a series of three increasingly reinforced doors, the second is a glass trough of water he must jump, the third is a group of sceptical people who need to be given pamphlets, a Knight prepared to fight whoever gets to him, and finally one old lady in a chair. Egbert is facing against another would be Paladin at the same time, who has to face a similar course, but his course funnels towards the old lady at the end.

The first whistle is blown and Egbert is off. He makes it through the first section with ease, injuring several crowd members by bursting through the first, wooden door. Dob casts Heat Metal on the second, iron door, making it softer and easier to burst through. Egbert bursts through with ease as a result of this. He finds this weird, but is convinced by a random crowd member that it was easy because he's a Dragonborn. He then gets stuck on the last door. Corazón suggests that he try the handle, which the audience laughs at, but Egbert tries it and it opens, amazing the crowd.

Meanwhile, Prudence uses Detect Magic and sees that the old lady at the end of the obstacle course is glowing brightly with magic. Back with Egbert, he is approaching the trough. Dob ties his Hempen Rope to the ramp he made and flings it onto the course. Egbert unintentionally steps onto it, and is boosted into the air as he jumps. Corazón casts Feather Fall on Egbert, extending his jump, as Dob tries pull the ramp back off the course, and is smacked in the face with it, causing it to break. Luckily, everyone was focusing on Egbert, so they didn't notice.

Meanwhile, the other contender has started. He makes it through the doors, but falls into the trough and begins to drown due to his heavy armour. Dob jumps into rescue him, which disqualifies the Paladin from the Trails. This upsets the contender to the point of tears, but Dob casts Calm Emotions on him and gets him to calm down. Dob tells the man than being a Paladin seems like such hard work, and asks him if he really wants to be one or if that's what people want him to be. The man, with a new perspective, heads to the bar for a drink. Seal then gets into the trough of water and gets his head stuck in the man's armour.

Up next is the knight, who is impressed by Egbert's jump, but passes Egbert a padded staff and prepares to fight. Corazón casts Grease on the platform, causing Egbert to fall over and the knight to get flung into the horizon. The crowd isn't entirely sure what just happened, but they give Egbert a roar of appreciation. Meanwhile, the crowd has be throwing food into the trough to feed Seal.

Eventually, Egbert is confronted by the old lady, and everyone is silent. Egbert approaches the lady, who immediately tells him she's not interested in his "poppycock religion". Egbert sit next her and says they don't have to talk about religion, instead he asks about her. The old lady confesses that she's very lonely, as people are only interested in her when they want her to vaporise people. Egbert tells her about how he turned Victor into Seal and introduces the two of them, which she is amused at how awful the story is. Eventually Egbert manages to convince her to at least take the pamphlet, as she doesn't have to read it, which makes the crowd go nuts, as this is the first pamphlet she's ever accepted. Egbert leaves Seal with the old lady as he is rushed off to the arena for his next and final Trial.

At the arena, Max give Egbert a bunch of vague advise before joining the crowd. Corazón gets some snacks for others, including pretzel with horns for Dob and a drink in a gigantic drinking horn for Prudence. Egbert enters the arena, the crowd cheer for him, but then they start chanting "Stan! Stan! Stan!" Prudence is confused, but then she notices a caricature Minotaur on her drinking horn, with the name "Stan" above it, and Dob notices the toy Minotaur he won earlier has a big "S" on the back of its jumper. Sure enough, a gate opens and before Egbert emerges a Minotaur named Stan, wielding a massive axe.

Corazón casts Mage Hand Legerdemain and punches Stan in the nuts, which stuns him, as it coils over in pain in a way that looks like he's trying to intimidate Egbert. Merilwen casts Spike Growth, resulting in Stan getting his feet shredded off. Dob then casts Crown of Madness on Stan and throws his toy Minotaur into the arena, causing Stan to attack the toy. Egbert is slightly confused by all this, but proceeds to choke him out, but it doesn't work, as Stan just swats him off. Prudence plans to fire an Eldritch Blast, but the others point out that will disqualify Egbert. She rummages through her items and pulls out the puzzle box she got from The Treasury, and throws it at Stan. As soon as it touches him, it sucks him inside of it and bellows out a plume of smoke.

A referee stops the match and is about to disqualify Egbert, but Stan's coach throws in the towel and declares that Egbert has passed the trial and demands that they release Stan from the Orb. Unfortunately, Prudence doesn't know how to release Stan from the Orb, and the coach begins to cry over the Minotaur he's raised since he was a calf. Despite this, the crowd begins to chant Egbert's name. The referee says that Egbert should be disqualified, but since the coach through in the towel before they could, they have no choice but to congratulate Egbert from passing the Trials. The referee tells Egbert that he hopes they never see Egbert again and urges Egbert to remember his forms next time.

Egbert then tries to offer the grieving coach a deal on Egbert merchandise, but Max tells him that it's best if they let the man grieve. Max congratulates Egbert on his victory, but reinforces what the referee told him. Egbert then retrieves Seal from his play date with the old lady, Prudence collects her orb, and the Guild leave the tourney grounds with Egbert's Paladin status still in tact.

## Behind The Scenes Trivia

* This episode was meant to be a live show at Birmingham Comic Con 2020, but due to the Coronavirus that event was cancelled. Plus, all the members involved were in quarantine.