Mario Party 10 Wii U review

Welcome to a review I promised like years ago before the creation of this Wikia.

I will be reviewing Mario Party 10 for some reason because because.

Can YOU believe that Mario Party is like, super old now and the games have been declining for a while now? Well I can't because years passed by and now I'm old. Well Mario Party 10 gave the word ***stale*** a brand new meaning! Take a look at the introduction. Oh wait, there isn't an introduction to this game. My bad. We start with ugly boxes that makes me wonder if I'm actually playing a video game, or I'm at a bank trying to withdraw money with Chase .

There are three modes in this game. Mario Party, Bowser Party, and amiibo$$$ Party. Let's start with Mario Party because it's the same car mechanic from Mario Party 9. As you can probably tell, if you didn't like Mario Party 9, you're not gonna like this game either because it goes to show that Nintendo didn't pay attention to the negative feedback and just rehashed the who process with HD graphics being the whole budget for the game. For Mario Party, you have five boards because they were too lazy to add a sixth board. That's a new record for least amount of boards in a Mario Party. Good job, you've not only accomplished being worst console Mario Party, but also the cheapest one where you have less content than the previous installments. Also the most expensive. So for Mario Party mode, you steer a car you have no control over, and you have everything stacked against you. Prepare to lose to easy CPUs. My gosh, how embarrassing.

Minigames appear more frequently, kinda, but not really. Anyways, minigames are even more meaningless than in past installments because there are more events here where you lose half your mini-stars. Might as well just take all of them away and just punish me for even owning this game. Also as I've mentioned, five boards. Here are the names of the boards: Grainy Grasses, Poisonous Plague, Wet Waters, Colorless Clouds, and Dumb Dome. I like these names more than Mushroom Park, Haunted Trail, Whimsical Waters, Airship Central, and Chaos Castle, so color me bias.

In Bowser Party, only three of the boards are available because they couldn't bother making the cloud and poisonous spooky jungle level into a transition to Bowser Party. So, signs of laziness and the game being rushed. Anyways, in Bowser Party, we are back in 4th grade again and you get to choose a team. Team Mario and Team Bowser. This is the stuff that comes out of deviantart. Come on! So Team Mario must stay alive and reach the end in order to win without all the 4 players losing their hearts. Team Bowser must take away all of Team Mario's hearts so that way, they won't be able to express love anymore and win the game. Also you gotta roll a dice to get away from Bowser because once it's his turn, he rolls like a thousand dices and he catches up to you. This game is very one-sided because either Bowser wins because he steals all of your loving hearts in the span of one minigame or Mario wins despite him not playing unless you choose him and you make it to the end by landing on every heart space possible. So there is no true winner. Also in this mode, you only get Bowser minigames and the game is super biased towards him because if he doesn't catch up to the 4 players, then he gets a chance to reroll again.

amiibo$$$ Party is Mario Party 1-8, with a twist. The twist? Nothing really. About the same luck factor like the regular modes. Unless you own an amiibo$$$, you can't play this mode, which is like 1/3 of the game. So if you're poor, have funny playing an unfinished 2/3 game you wasted $60 on! Everything is random luck in this game because the roll of a die is what depends on it. If you're unlucky and only roll 1's, well... take your last place and deal with it! There are no shops, no orbs, no other stuff, so that's where the similarities end with the original Mario Party. You win by luck because lol, who cares if you're skillful at minigames, let's have the person that's done nothing the entire game win. At least the past installments had some skill involved.

The only good thing about Mario Party 10 that did better than 9 is that it removed captain events. It's only purpose is to make everyone else other than yourself gain any ministars. Apparently the game developers are dumb and think Toadette is a new character despite appearing in three past Mario Parties. How do you screw up an important trivial gameplay aspect right here? I blame the choreographers for this mess. Did the developers not proofread this? I'm surprised they didn't also refer to Donkey Kong as a new character just because he stopped appearing as a playable character after MP4.

There are 11 "boards" for amiibo$$$ party. 10 for the 10 playable characters which excludes Daisy, Waluigi, Toadette, and Spike. Also the eleventh one is the normal board. Why boards is in quotations is because it's basically the same monopoly board, except with the character gimmicks in them. To unlock the character boards, you need to own their amiibo$$$ which costs like $13 or over $200 if you still want that Rosalina scalper from that one crazy guy. Being the unprofessional that I am in reviews, did the SSB4 Rosalina amiibo$$$ ever get restocked? Answer that plz because I can't be bothered to use Google to answer my own questions. If you happen to have amiibo$$$ data from other games, you gotta delete it because they want you to buy the Super Mario series amiibo$$$ or buy more amiibo$$$. As a person who doesn't own amiibo$$$ because she's too cheap and poor, I can't even play the mode. >:(

Anyways, have fun with classic Mario Party, the promise Nintendo said would return. Well, that was amiibo$$$ Party. And it's just as much luck factor as the regular current style. Also have fun playing Bowser Party, because that was the cashgrab scheme in the commercials that would convince you to buy the game. If you don't own it, then there's something wrong with you for not falling for the bait. To this very day, August 16, of the year 2016, this mode is supposed to keep you wanting for more. But I guess no one feels that way because Bowser is OP and wins everytime because of infinite dices, OP minigames, and luck involved.

amiibo$$$ Bonus is the inferior mode, which is not really a mode, but a minigame. Hence why it's a smaller looking box no one cares about. Basically, you play the Mega Millions using an amiibo$$$. And if you don't own one, you can't play it and win the lotto. So this mode, like the 1/3 amiibo$$$ Party, is useless if you don't own an amiibo$$$. You can only play once a day.

Look at this! I can't even win the Mega Millions on a virtual reality! Great luck I have.

Using the money you might probably win if you scratch lottery tickets, you can use all of that to go to Toad's Room and steal his crap to have for your collection. You can save Toadette and Spike from being hostages in Toad's Room, and you can also steal his music and some vehicles that could be used when playing Mario/Bowser Party (why would you want to play this again?) and some pictures. Toad doesn't even have anything good to steal from anyways, asides from the hostages. He has a lame car collection. Look at that! He doesn't own a Yellow Submarine! A Yellow Submarine. A Yellow Submarine. A Whale isn't a submarine and neither is a Blooper.

Next up are the Bonus Games, which is actually 4 games that for some reason weren't added into the regular minigames. You've got Bowser Challenge, which is Bowser minigames compilation, Bowser Jr Challenge, which are just two Bowser Jr minigames. Wow, talk about content! You also have Jewel Drop and Badminton, also filler. There's also the Minigame Tournament, but no one plays that.

Now the final verdict of this game...

This game is barebones. There is really nothing to play for once you've tried it all. Seeing how 1/3 of the game is unplayable because you don't own any action figures is plain dumb, and the Bonus Games might as well be renamed Unused Content because it was probably added last second because it served no purpose in the main modes. Bowser Party probably isn't worth your money, and neither is Mario Party. Any unlockables other than the characters are pointless and don't add anything to the game. The minigames are alright, but in today's industry, alright doesn't do all when there are superior games out there. As a review that's coming a year and a half late after the game release, I don't recommend you buy it, and if you can trade it, SUPER! You probably got a better game in exchange, unless it's Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash...

0/10

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