Remus Clifford

Walkers Crisps (2007 - 2009)

Lelli Kelly (2008 - 2012)

Cilit Bang (2012 - 2014)

Remus Anderson Clifford (born 5th April 1989) is the Regional Sales Director of Thornton Stationery Company - Watford Branch, as well as former Real Estate Agent. Remus is a no-nonsense, blunt boy.

Remus was raised in Watford by his mother, Felicia. His father unfortunately died a month after Remus' birth, due to being crushed by a tree working at his job as a lumberjack. Remus was a strong child, and was never affected by this.

Remus was always ambitious, and always reached for the stars. He showed a particular interest in business, and managed to convince his secondary school let him pick business four times over for his GCSE options. Remus was disliked by his teachers for his smug-know-it-all attitude, however, Remus actually did know it all. In 2001 he successfully predicted the 2008 world stock market crash, by studying market trends.

In 2007, Remus gained a job as a Walker's Crisps supplier. His job was to ring up super-market chains and convince to let them sell Walkers products. He was incredibly successful in this job, and increased Walkers profits by 15 per cent. After two years at the company, Remus was fired for getting into fist fights with his co-workers. Remus was unemployed in the midst of the world's largest financial crisis since the Great Depression, and was in desperate need of work.

In November of 2008, he managed to secure a job at Lelli Kelly, the primary school girls shoes company. Remus took the job seriously, and proposed a sales tactic for corporate office. Remus began travelling to local primary schools with boxes of size 7 Lelli Kelly shoes. At first, he attempted to sell the shoes to the children, however realised that the children in nursery did not have size 7 feet. He made his first sale to the receptionist at a Ruislip primary school. After that sale, his sales record quickly increased. He increased his sales by 74 per cent from the December quarter to the March quarter. He got in trouble for shouting at a mis-behaving nursery girl and making her cry. Reportedly, he screamed ''YOU LITTLE SYCOPHANT, YOU REPEL ME. YOU ARE THE DEVIL!!!!'' Lelli Kelly had to let him go for this incident.

The corporate manager at Lelli Kelly, Gordon Mitchell, recommended Remus to his brother, Theophillius Mitchell, who at the time worked as a Marketing Director at Cillit Bang. Remus was hired as a door-to-door salesman for the company. The man had great success at Cillit Bang, until tragedy struck in 2014 when Remus drunkenly covered his boss' kid in Cillit Bang after the child gave him some funny looks at a Cillit Bang Watford Branch party.

In March 2014, he relocated to Milkham and Co., a Real Estate Company. Remus rose to the rank of Senior Sales Director within a year, and became the best real estate agent Milkham and Co. had ever seen. Remus decided to quit the job in 2016, to focus on more ambitious things, in particular, he directed his interests on Thornton Stationery. Remus first heard of Thornton in 2013, at a rave. He started working at the Watford Branch in May 2016 as a salesman. Upon joining the branch he noticed that the employees had no sense of humor, so he struck up a plan to get the no-fun employees fired.

He quickly befriended Giles Goldham, the Regional Director of Sales (at the time). Remus and Giles were sales partners and sat across from each other. They would usually carry out raids on the 'boring' departments such as Accounting and H.R. These raids would involve actions such as throwing around files on their victims' desks, and would involve items such as a jackhammer, a microphone, a lighter, and gasoline. Remus and Giles got in trouble with H.R. for their antics, however Albert of the Islington Branch overheard corporate telling them off, and decided to stand up for them. The three plotted a legendary raid on corporate office, destroying 400 pounds worth of company equipment. The CFO, David Randy, insisted on firing the three men, however, Jebidiah Thornton found the incident hilarous, and pissed himself with laughter. The three were awarded bonuses over the quarter.