Boon's Journal

Back to Boon.

## Same S&\*#; Different City

CC34 - Terror from the center of the earth

2019, October, 6
It's been a few weeks since leaving Georgia now. But unlike your average runaway I'm bringing my demons with me (Hey there Metty). Leaving Ma behind was the second hardest decision I've ever had to make, seeing the tears stream down her face as I got on the bus nearly killed me. But I know I wouldn't be able to stand being around her knowing my fate.
So here we are, Halcyon City. It's far bigger than I'd ever imagined. Knowing my father's killer is here somewhere just makes it seem even bigger. I'm eager to start covering ground, but I feel like I need to settle into things here a bit. Although Sapphomet here is hardly excited about such low level concerns as "finding a place to sleep at night".
Speaking of. A lot has already happened since I've gotten here. A few days in I teamed up with some new friends to stop an attack on my new school. We had to get help from some loser named Flex-o or whatever. I could not stand his energy one bit. The kids I met seemed pretty chill though, and in permafrost's case, very literally. I took 'em down to the pool hall I've been hanging out at, the owner Paul had been letting me sleep there, and I've been getting along with the patrons pretty well.
This is where things went off the rails a bit. A fissure opened up in the parking lot (poor Paul) and a couple a' dinosaurs climbed their way out. I was told weird stuff happened in Halcyon but this was my first time seeing anything quite like this. I mean, underground dinosaurs!? Buckwild stuff, I don't know what to tell ya. Anyways we made quick work of the dinosaurs, as well as the nerd that sent them. Shortly after some hotshot comes barreling in outta the sky trying to steal our credit. Luckily I had been using telekinesis on the dinosaur he was aiming for causing him to miss and faceplant into the asphalt. It was honestly the funniest thing I've seen in my entire life and I wish someone had taken a video of it so that I could re-live it forever.
So apparently this jerkwad is the leader of something called the Big Team? A crime fighting team made up of a bunch of teens like me, some of whom are even going to my new school. I of course jumped at the chance to a) have a couch to sleep on considering the pool hall is a wreck now, and b) meet some people that can help me figure out who killed my Dad. And who knows, maybe I can have a little fun before Sapphomet eats my soul or whatever yeah?
We had a team briefing today where we talked about some mysterious group called "Gambite". They apparently run like child fighting rings or something like that? Sapphomet really wants to find out if it's possible to bet on the child fighting, which I'm not particularly keen on. I'll find her some people we can play poker with soon so that she shuts up about it. Anyways we've been brainstorming how to confront Gambite, but I'm not gonna lie I got a little distracted by an absolute Angel walking in. Her name's Gwen and she's been on the team for a long-ass time now. It took barely any time before I blurted out some lame compliment about her hair, which I'm not entirely sure was fully my decision or if Metty had something to do with it (I'm on to you you literal devil). But to be fair, it was some really good hair.
So far it's been exciting living here in Halcyon, exciting people and strange happenings. Which is perfect, because if I'm gonna be gone soon... or not me.. or dead... or whatever happens when a demon overtakes your soul... I'd rather have my last moments be interesting you know? I don't know maybe it doesn't matter, but it helps. Anyway, I'm gonna finish this off for tonight and go practice my Dobro before I think too much about nonsense. Peace out.

## Doomed by the Bell

S3E115 - Falling Empires

2019, October, 20
Heya diary, Today marks another day in the continuing saga of "Halcyon is the weirdest city on the planet". In class today Aman pointed out that this kid named Kurt wasn't in class. I didn't think too much of it, I mean, I've played hooky a fair few times and if I were to guess why a student wasn't in some boring history class I wouldn't be picking "Time shenanigans" as my go to explanation. Well, I wouldn't be picking time shenanigans as the explanation for much of anything. After today I've learned never to rule anything out. If only IF ONLY time shenanigans could erase the stain on my life that is the horrible horrible moments I had with Gwen today. She's just... she's so. Okay hang on I've gotta start at the beginning.
So yeah, kid's missing. Aman wants to find him. Yada yada. We decide to skip math class to find him. On our way to look for him... SHE is there... working the book fair. And like, I've barely gotten a chance to talk to her and then when I least expect it, she's just here! at my school! working the Scholastic™ Bookfair!? That's when we see the kid, he looks... bad... and he runs off down the hall and out of sight. Luckily, Gwen decides to help us find the kid. I was SO EXCITED. This was my chance to impress her! I suggested we go to the roof so that I could meditate a bit and allow Sapphomet to do a bit of divining, to figure out just what's going on with this kid.
So we head to the roof, through the boiler room. We're climbing up the ladder when I notice that the roof hatch is locked. Which was great because it gave me a chance to show off a bit. And like, you know it ain't all about Gwen, I don't think Ernest and Aman had seen me at work yet either. I swiped open the door with some big 'ol claws which TOTALLY WORKED! Just uh... a bit too well... See I nicked the ladder a bit and Gwen nearly fell. But it was a blessin' in disguise because I got to catch her! (After convincing Ernest to let me do it).
When we're at the top we hear someone in the boiler room and Gwen says it's Kurt! But not our Kurt. A different Kurt, from the... future? Ernest and Aman chase after him leaving Gwen and I alone. This was it, my chance. I had to say something cool to her, something nice, a compliment, a confident remark about her outfit, literally ANYTHING but what happened. While I was searching for something to say to her... I found Sapphomet... who was a bit less patient than I was... I have been trying my Gods damned best to forget what she said but it was some embarrassing (and if you're listening in there Sapphomet: not smooth at all thank you very much!!!) comment about being alone on the roof with her! ugh...
It's okay I say... just brush it off, act casual, and show this cool and beautiful older superhero that you're a professional, and you can do this. I draw my circle, I commune with Sapphomet and the world around me, and I get some... weird visions... Which isn't unusual for Sapphomet's visions. The four of us... we're running through a field, lightning crackling around us. We see Kurt, teleporting around, getting further... further.... further... from us. And a voice "In order to protect the present, you must prevent the influence of the future..." Or something along those lines. Cryptic, but I get the idea. We need to hunt down old Kurt and get him away from young Kurt. Before we head back to meet up with the others I decide to clarify Sapphomet's little interjection earlier. But then I stumble. I tell her "That wasn't me earlier, I don't think you're cute". WHICH IS A TOTAL LIE. I THINK SHE'S VERY CUTE. Ugh now she's gonna think I hate her and she's never gonna take me seriously. Why do I have to be such a disaster gay!? I just... I really want her to like me. And now I feel like I've ruined everything because of my stupid, giant mouth.
Anyway I'm pretty quick to suggest we move on and meet up with the others. And Gwen suggested we just, take a shortcut off the roof. Which causes us *both* to land in the mud. Which... kinda put me at ease actually... I mean, I really don't know too much about Gwen, and it's easy to think of her as this larger than life superhero with beautiful hair. But sitting there in the mud together, it just kinda put my recent mistakes into perspective if that makes sense.
So we meet up with Aman and Ernest, and we realize that... more time has passed than what should have... the math class that we skipped is already over. And Gwen's retro-cognition powers aren't working anymore. Fortunately we found out from Aman's gym coach that the gym was closed for the day for some mysterious reason. And when someone tells this gang not to go someplace, that's just... all the more reason to go there...
In the gym we find a big machine, and old Kurt! Gwen tried to yeet me at him, which would've been awesome, but she lost her super strength somehow! Despite this we still managed to give him a proper ass kicking together! It felt really nice to work as a team, and I got to use Aman as a gun! Before we could finish the job though he pressed a button, there was a flash of light, and then we were all back at the bookfair?
We see young Kurt and run after him, and then we find... ourselves...? Which was a real trip. Like, was that us from the last loop? Or this one, or a different timeline? Thinking about it hurts my head a bit if I'm being honest. Anyway we keep going and find adult Kurt where we thought young Kurt was. And this right here was the best moment of the whole day. We pulled off a combo move! Like a proper 4-person combo attack!!! It was so coool! Okay okay okay. So. Aman uses his eye thingy to confuse the guy right? And then I tackle him into the wall, and then Gwen turns her sword into a lightnin' rod, and then Ernest shocks it! And it sent him through like 2 walls back into the gym! But then we notice something is off... He's turned back into young Kurt. They somehow fused!
After fighting Kurt squared for a bit more he grabs and tries to push Aman into the machine! We end up saving Aman and accidentally knocking Kurts into the machine instead, where old Kurt is sent to the future, and young Kurt is sent... well we don't really know... I hope he's okay. After that we go back to class to look for him only to realize that the time shenanigans made us miss pretty much all of class. Netting us a one way ticket to detention. But worse than that, Kurt isn't there, and supposedly nobody has seen him in days...
I'm honestly a bit glad we got detention together though, this might be a chance to talk to Ernest and Aman a bit! I had a lot of fun teaming up with them today but I didn't really get to talk to them through that whole confusing series of events. Today was overall pretty cool. But I just wish I hadn't embarrassed myself in front of Gwen so much. But I guess I can just blame Sapphomet for that ;)
Boon signing off! <3

## Ghosts in the Graveyard

OVA - The Deathsingers of Kormurand

(cw, immolation, body horror, abuse)

2019, October, 27
It's taken me a few days to get around to writing this. I wasn't actually planning on it at all. But uh, I think it's important to get my thoughts in order and have someplace to write this out.
This weekend was really bad. Like really really bad. I hesitate to say that these past few days have been as bad as the days following my father's death. But they.... they're certainly giving it a run for its money.
So what happened exactly? It all started so well... not only does Gwen still want anything to do with me after embarrassing myself last week, but she invited me to join her band! It's called the Flex Girls and it's really cool! We realized that there's a ton of strong girls on the team and decided we should make up a band of all of us (and sometimes Seth)! We wrote a song about how much Godspeed sucks and it was a lot of fun! I'm still pretty new but it was really nice to be included in something with the other team members, and I even get to play my strat! But now I'm afraid that I've already ruined a good thing by being a mouthy asshole...
It was after practice on Friday. Gwen suggested we go to the new coffee bar by the base called Screamin' Beans. It was some good coffee and the pecan pie was pretty tasty. Okay I can't let my emotions get in the way of this description. It was the best goddamned pecan pie I've ever tasted in my life, possibly the best pie I've ever had period. Like unholy shit, it was so good. Anyway, it was starting off good, and then the owner and some patron started rambling about some city called Cormorant full of undead servants. It was... weird... he was clearly being compelled by something, almost like he was addicted to talking about this city. During this Mini left to get a smoke, and I followed her out to talk because, well, I'd heard she'd been possessed too and, idk, I thought like maybe we could bond over that. But I was an idiot and was too flippant about it when she CLEARLY HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH HERS and then to make matters worse Sapphomet jumped in to taunt her about how cool demons are and it just made everything worse and then Mini was mad at me and Seth was also mad at me and I just felt like such a fuckup.
Anyway Mini says something about how there's ghosts everywhere, and they're all headed in the same direction. So we go that way and we see... and I'm not joking... two walking skeletons... I lend one my ritual chalk because, you know, no throat, skeletons; and it explains that its a tailor, and it's here to serve us, or something? I was ready to give up interrogating it when Gwen had the good idea to ask where it came from (why didn't I think of that, I'm so bad at this) to which it said that it came from the "King Arthur Memorial Cemetery" which caused Gwen to get really upset and fly away for some reason, so we all followed her there.
The cemetery was on a street called Terrorgate Street. Which is an appropriately spooky name given the skeletons walking around. We heard some odd chanting and a frustrated woman's voice. Gwen went to go check on the grave of that King Arthur guy while the rest of us investigated the chanting. This is where things went a bit downhill.
I should preface this by saying, I am not a Christian. My dad's agnostic, my Mom is a pagan. I'm also a pagan. I don't place importance on Holy stuff. But there was something about that graveyard. Maybe there is such a thing as hallowed ground. Or maybe the collective energies of the people who have visited that cemetery and the importance they've placed on it have a power entirely their own... whatever it was... it hurt. The minute I set foot in the graveyard.... I felt a burning. Nothing awful at first, it felt like a bad sunburn or somethin'. As we got further inside I could feel Sapphomet screaming in my soul. Shrieks of pain that echoed through my body and ran up my nerves where they ignited and wracked my body with searing pain. It was... uniquely horrible. But I pushed through it. I wanted to impress people. I wanted Gwen to like me. I wanted Mini to not be mad at me. What's a little burning yeah?
Anyway we kept on through the graveyard when we saw Gwen standing a good ways behind the source of the chanting. An old lady with a boombox and a horde of skeletons. Things got real dicey real fast. After Mini broke the boombox the lady sent skeletons after her, and they grabbed her by the ankles. Seth went to go help Mini while Gwen and I teamed up to get at the lady. Gwen turned her sword into a scythe and threw it to clear a path through the skeletons (and it was really really cool she's so cool), and I readied my claws and grabbed the old lady and jumped towards the huge grave Gwen had come from.
I don't know what happened with the other three after that. Because that's when I caught on fire. The pain I'd felt earlier was nothing compared to this. As I soared through the air, with the alleged villain in hand I could feel my skin blistering under the heat of holy fire. This graveyard didn't want me here... it wanted me dead. My eyes were blinded and I nearly blacked out from the pain. Everything was screaming at me to leave, my nerves, my soul, my brain, Sapphomet. Seth tried to help me with his cold powers but it didn't work and he had to literally toss me outside the gate. This isn't supposed to happen, I'm supposed to be strong. She's supposed to make me indestructible. But right then was the weakest I've ever felt.
I was about to give up and head home when the rest of the team walked out with the old lady in tow, still singed in spots because of my carelessness. But she... she comforted me... She told me that I was a hero for literally going through fire to do what I felt was right. I mean I didn't feel like much of a hero, but it helped. Supposedly the geezer's named Subliminal, half of a team of super hero wives along with Liminal (which is fucking cool as hell, wlw solidarity). She explained that she was playing the chant of something called a death-singer that she and her wife fought. She wanted to use the bodies of the dead as a way to make human labor obsolete, which would be praxis af if it didn't mess with the ghosts of the bodies which Mini noticed were heading towards a nearby house, where the Liminals had fought a deathsinger long ago. So into the house we went.
Inside we found an entire city made of skeletons, with a few... umm... flesh wizards... in the center. Seriously, they were... they were wizards made of flesh. It was incredibly unsettling. They went on about their goal of eliminating the need for labor and called us animals in the process to excuse absorbing the power of ghosts to make it work. That was all we needed to hear. These assholes were going down.
Remember last week how Gwen failed at yeeting me? Well she managed to do it this time! And it was awesome! And I transformed in midair! I managed to surprise them which was awesome until they tried to steal my bones! So yeah that was probably the second most painful thing I experienced that day. Remember how these things were flesh wizards? So imagine your muscles and your bones are suddenly controlled by two separate consciousnesses. Trying to go in separate directions. Your bones tugging at the tendons as you lose control over your body and your skeleton is trying to attack your friends.
I. was. having. none. of. that. bullshit.
I concentrated deeply, I let Sapphomet gather her strength, I reached out telekinetically. and I SEIZED MY MOTHER FUCKING BONES.
But shit was still going downhill. Seth and Mini were getting attacked, and I was standing at the base of the deathsingers. And then... she arrived... my knight in literal shining armor rushed in to save me. It was the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. She held up her shield to protect me from the acid spell the wizards were raining on us... my strong gorgeous hero. This gave me enough time to do the coolest thing I've ever done. I borrowed Gwen's chain whip and ran up the falling debris, doing a frontflip and bringing the whip crashing down on the skull of the head wizard. Then it fucking exploded causing the building, which Mini and Seth weakened, to collapse in on itself as a mysterious force sucked us to safety.
Outside, Subliminal was there with some hero named Nursemaster who was waiting to patch up Seth, who had gotten hurt pretty bad in the fight. Seth was reluctant to get healed due to some underlying fears that I don't really know much about. But then Mini just kind of talked him into letting her heal him instead. It was really sweet. The way she did everything she could to help her friend. At the moment I became painfully aware that... I don't think I have a friend like that. I've met plenty of people since coming here but, would any of them go out of their way for me like that?
A few days later I heard a knock at my door. It was Mini. And she wanted to talk. I of course apologized profusely for the other day and explained how it wasn't entirely me speaking. And Mini was... understanding... She started talking to me about her experience with being possessed. How it felt to have someone threatening her friends, and trying to take control of her. She told me not to trust Sapphomet, that demons are liars and tricksters, who would stop at nothing to get what they want. I told her that I needed Sapphomet to do what I need to do. I need her if I ever want to avenge my Dad. And I don't know if I could do that without her. And I didn't say this at the time but... the feeling of being powerful... of being able to create change... and enact your will... is amazing. And like... if housing Sapphomet is what it takes isn't that worth it?
But suddenly I don't know anymore. Mini assured me that I had the power to choose. And whatever Sapphomet was promising me, my friends could give to me too. I know on some level that was meant to be helpful. But if I'm being honest, I don't really know if I have friends, not like the rest of the team has. I keep fucking up, alienating people, insulting them. If my options are a lying demon hellbent on my stealing my soul whose goals may or may not be aligned with my own... and being alone... I don't really know what my answer is...
...
...
fuck...

## Undermined Resolve

S3E124 - Molicious Intent

*2019, November, 9*
I saw her.
This is it.
This is what I came to Halcyon for.
Let’s start from the beginning yeah?
So, we get back from a mission, five of us. Pretty standard stuff, we get a call from nerdspeed, we bruise up some bad guys, we laugh, we cry, we hang out afterwards. Melody suggests we go cool down at her mentor’s hideout, the jackal… cave… or whatever. We agree, although it was admittedly not the best idea… she seemed to not like us a whole lot. Which like, understandable, but she really seemed ticked off about Jawbreaker being there for some reason. Not really sure what all that was about, but whatever.
So anyway Melody overhears old Jackal talking to the League about some stuff going down in Molecyon, which I’ve learned is the underground tunnel system full of… mole people... Who are into high school sports to an uncomfortable degree. There’s a guy there named Molecelini that’s apparently leading some sort of vaguely fascist “moles first” anti-human party and they want old Jackal on the case to go talk some sense into him. But Melody had a (in hindsight not so) great idea to go ourselves and earn some respect from the old boomer!
I’m going to say right here that Molecyon is… weird… like they all love high school sports an unhealthy amount. And they pretty much worship TILLY of all people… not that Tilly is bad or anything! She’s just a bit much. They also all knew who I was which was different; and like, not even as a hero, they knew me from roller derby! I actually appreciated that a lot, I’m not out for glory or anything like that with hero work. But I’m glad my derby playing is getting some recognition because being part of the HalcyBRAWN city roller girls has been the most fun part of moving to the city. Which should say a lot about the amount of fun I’ve had hero-ing so far (it’s been rough). Boon the demon girl is out BRUISE CTRL is IN motherfuckers!
Anyway, we talk to loud mole dictator man who tells us that Molecelini has been experimenting on rubicon armor suits from the surface, which were apparently given to him by Gwen. I felt really bad for her, she didn’t know! I’m not biased you’re biased. So we go pay him a visit, disguised as pizza delivery drivers. Not our best plan, but admittedly not our worst. Jawbrea- OH YEAH I got a mission with Jawbreaker again! That was really nice she’s really cool, I’ve missed her. So Jawbreaker goes to the front door with the “pizza” (it’s bombs) and we find… burrower!? Demolio’s son is also out back playing in the yard for some reason.
At this point I was really wishing the rest of us could just... be invisible and listen in. After thinking that I felt a deep and sinister dread. There was something pulling me, something deep down telling me that this was an offer that was on the table. And I accepted. “See what we can accomplish when we work together?” I heard Sapphomet whisper in my ear as I suddenly felt, well, less myself, less there. I… I’ve been trying to ignore the fact that if I don’t avenge my Dad soon things may not end well for me. But feeling in that moment that sensation of my soul being clenched just a little bit harder by her cold claws was just… I can’t keep it out of my mind. But it worked… we were invisible, we snuck in and listened in while Burrower explained things to Jawbreaker. But it was all for nothing, he figured out we were there anyway. He told us about his plot to depose Demolio because he hates basketball and is under the mistaken impression that a sports-dictatorship is anyless farcical than an ethno-nationalist one.
So into the basement we go. Luckily we’re all on the same page. This guy’s full of shit. It’s showtime. We were all wearing our sports gear because… that’s a thing down here... so I had Gwen use her beautiful strong arms to whip me at Burrower on my skates. But something stopped me. Her.
They were calling her Yamato. And Sapphomet recognized her. She killed my Dad. If I could just, Gods. So now that I’ve finally found her I feel a bit like a dog chasing a car. Like if things hadn’t turned out how they had what would I have done? Would I have killed her? Apprehended her? Given her a stern talking to? Looking back I’m afraid of the answer. I guess it doesn’t matter now. I lost it. And I got my ass kicked. And Demolio’s son got hurt in the process. This isn’t how it was supposed to go.
So anyway to top it all off we arrested burrower and now half of Molecyon hates our guts. And Yamato got away. And I broke a kid’s legs. And when I apologized he told me there was no hope for me. And you know what? He’s probably right.

## Best Friend of the Devil

C'mon Lucky

*2019, November, 18*
“Okay so. chalk line here, candle there. Deer bones… check… raven feathers… check…” Boon flits about her cabin gathering strange ingredients off of shelves while poring over a dusty leather book. “Am I missing anything?” she mutters to herself.
“Don’t forget to define your needs love. Draw three sigils at the center.” A sultry voice reminds her as Boon walks by a tall woman with jet black hair and red skin.
“I know I know I’ll get to it” Boon says while rummaging through a jar full of gemstones. “And don’t call me love.” She fishes a handful of polished black gemstones from the jar.
“Put that down. pure obsidian, NOT smokey. Eric should’ve known better than to stock this trash” Sapphomet says with her hand outstretched.
“Seriously!? Does it really matter if the obsidian is smokey or not?” Boon says exasperatedly.
“No it doesn’t matter at all dear…” Sapphomet says with a sneer. “Unless of course you value your skin” She motions again with her outstretched hand to place the imperfect gems in her palm.
“Ugh FINE” Boon complains, placing the gems in Sapphomet’s hand and returning to the jar.
Sapphomet takes the gems and tosses them out an open window in the cabin. “So what kind of familiar are you hoping to summon Barbara?”
“Don’t call me Barbara. And I’m hoping to summon something helpful. You know? That thing that you aren’t”
“Well that’s hardly called for. You know if you keep acting like such an ingrate maybe I’ll take away your powers for a bit, see how you fare?”
“I don’t know, would it get you to shut up for once?”
“Darling… what’s gotten into you lately. Are my poor baby’s feelings hurt from getting rejected still?”
“I told you to drop it. Don’t talk to me about Gwen ever again. If I handled that the way you wanted me to we wouldn’t even be friends still.”
“My my, don’t you just relish in her pity?”
“I SAID DROP IT!” Boon yells throwing the jar of gemstones to the floor.
“Sheesh, you don’t have to shout” Sapphomet says with a grimace. She raises a hand and the jar reforms on the shelf. The gems on the floor wobble and begin to congeal into a single mass. The mass levitates and places itself in the jar, except for three pure black pieces of obsidian of equal size which float in front of Boon; she snatches them from the air and returns to her work.
“Okay now… what do I want my familiar to be like...” Boon ponders, tapping a piece of chalk against her jaw. Suddenly a look of realization crosses her face and she kneels down to scribble on an ornate summoning circle.
Sapphomet watches closely and nods. “Not my first choice but I think I see what you’re going for. And with that… it’s ready.”
“That it is” Boon says while standing up to admire her handiwork. “Alright then.” she cracks her knuckles “Showtime!” Boon crouches down and presses her hands firmly at the edge of the circle.
Sparks begin to fly out from underneath both of Boon’s palms. They spread outward following the chalk marks and illuminating the dim cabin. They jet a few inches upwards, burning Boon’s skin, but she stands strong. The sparks begin to change direction as if the circle were spinning, gaining speed. The floor inside the circle begins to take on an amber hue as the cabin begins to shake. Trinkets, tomes, and foci begin falling off of the shelves as the shaking grows stronger and the circle gets brighter. The smell of sulfur fills Boon’s nostrils. She stands strong and keeps as good of a poker face as she can muster. Smoke fills the room and Boon begins to cough. As the smoke clears a quadrupedal figure remains in the circle and a low growl fills the cabin.
“Holy shit…” Boon and Sapphomet say in unison. “The goodest boy…” Sapphomet says in awe as the smoke clears to reveal a black furred pitbull; his eyes a pure red hue, short horns cropping up behind his ears, and strange markings appearing in shifting, glowing, amber patches of fur. Boon recognizes the symbols as the sigils she drew on the circle, representing “power”, “intelligence”, and “sweetness”.
Boon’s eyes light up as her new companion is revealed. “Oh my god I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!” She shrieks. The dog runs up to Boon and jumps up, placing his paws on her belly. “Oh hello. Aren’t you just the sweetest little thing” Boon coos. She turns to Sapphomet “What should we name him?”
Sapphomet looks puzzled for a moment “I uh… I don’t know, I don’t typically name my servants”
*He’s not a servant!” Boon retorts “He’s my best friend and I’ll love him forever. Even though he smells like sulfur. Oooh what about Brimstone!?”*
“As good as any I suppose” Sapphomet responds. She tenses briefly and looks at Brimstone. “Hey Boon, notice anything odd about him?”
Boon looks at the dog quizzically “I uh, I mean he’s got horns?”
“Horns aren’t odd!” Sapphomet protests “I mean um- no don’t you feel that? The energy radiating off of him? Boon try using your telekinesis.”
“Um, okay?” Boon replies. She fishes through her jacket looking for something and then pats herself down when she can’t find it. Oh yeah she thinks to herself Yamato stole my lucky dice. great... She then grabs a knife from the cabin’s kitchen and holds it in her outstretched palm. As the familiar arcane circle enwreathes her wrist the knife begins to float up into the air and points towards a dart board hanging on a door. Brimstone sidles up to Boon’s side and begins nuzzling her legs. As he does so the sigils in his fur begin to grow brighter, as does the arcane circle around Boon’s wrist. Boon snaps her palm shut and the knife rockets at the nearby dartboard with a greater force than she had intended. It clears a hole right through the dartboard as well as the door it was hanging on. “Well shit!” an awed Boon states with an expression of surprise.
“MY NEW DOG IS MAGIC!?”

## A Detailed Recounting of the Season 3 Finale

Season 3 Finale, Part 3. Home Turf

*2019, December, 15*
...
...
...
What's wrong with me...
...
...
...

## Blue's Prepared for Anti-Christening

Season 3 Finale, Part 3. Home Turf

*2019, December, 17*
So my last journal kinda summed up the other day. But I wanted to get things written down since… I don’t- something tells me I should be writing more stuff down. Some of my older journals are just... hard to focus on. Ernest and I talked about that time in Molecyon with the prison break yesterday, but I can’t bring myself to read that entry, and when I do I just lose focus and read the same sentence over and over. But regardless I’m hoping that keeping things written down will help somewhere along the line. And with all the stuff that’s been happening with my mem-… my… fuck I forget where I was going with that.
Okay from the top.
I just want to get this out here. Verve is awesome. She saved all of us. Every last one of us would be dead if it weren’t for her, so cheers to that. Anyway, I used to hate time shenanigans but this time it stopped us from getting orbitally lasered so I think that’s at least a few points in its favor. So Cyclone tells us that future verve has warned us about attacks all across the city. Everyone gets grouped into teams and sent out on assignments. Godspeed sends us to the school to go secure team Verve, which is a testament to how fucking cocky he is that he thinks he can defend the base on his own. His hubris is immediately rewarded when a Yamato-shadow-clone impales him in the abdomen. Yikes.
So she’s here. Godspeed is dying. And I’m working with three other Big Teamers that I barely know anything about. The steaks are high, but I put on my game face. We were able to stop most of the shadow clones except for two that ended up attacking Godspeed and Doctor Watson, covering them in shadow goop. Now, despite Sapph’s protests I was able to use her powers to save just a single one of the two. You know when your faced with a choice between rescuing a fashy hardass who took over your team of teenagers and treats it like his private army versus a doctor who probably saves people, I think, the choice is pretty obvious. I saved the doc.
But Godspeed was still in bad shape. So Gwen stayed behind to patch him up while Tachyon, Hairpin and I went to look for GAIA who was pinging us from outside. Except it wasn't them. Well it was their chassis- er a bunch of their… chassi? Being controlled by Yamato. Tachyon and I leapt in to attack them but then… I… I stopped being able to fly. I don't remember why, I don't think Sapphomet would do that just to fuck with me but… anyway I fell and knocked hairpin and I through the roof of the base and into the med bay. So hairpin transforms into a FUCKING KAIJU MECHA and Gwen and I pilot her to take out the gaiamatos. And then something weird happened. Yamato spoke to us… to me... offering for us- offering me specifically to join gambite in return for her leaving the base alone. I declined of course.
Then she rocked our shit. Or would've if I hadn't summoned a badass laser resistant glass golem to stall them ;) that's right I basically single handedly held off all the robots it was badass (okay okay fine, I guess the others helped a little too). Anyway this gives us time to check in on Godspeed, who is currently buried in the wreckage of the medbay. The doc tells us that we'll need the Smithton's help saving Nerdspeed and Gwen's Dad just pops up out of nowhere to escort him. In the meantime Tachyon was able to get a line of communication between GAIA and I and they're about to self destruct along with all of the chasses(?). So, GAIA sends me the location of their central core, and I navigate Hairpin and Gwen… the wrong way…
I don't know why I did it.
I was going to tell them the right way to go and then… my head was filled with thoughts of revenge. You see, there was a signature down there… Yamato's… the real Yamato. I had to take her on, and I couldn't bear to have people there to watch me do what I wanted to do to her. Besides, Sapphomet thought it was a good idea and S̸h̶e̶'̶s̸ ̵n̶e̶v̵e̵r̸ ̷s̵t̵e̶e̵r̸e̴d̵ ̵m̷e̵ ̷w̸r̷o̷n̷g̷ ̴b̷e̴f̴o̴r̴e̶.
So I went in to fight Yamato. Alone. First thing first, I took my dice back. They were mine. Then I kicked her ass. Granted, she put up a Gods damned fight and I didn’t finish in the best shape but I… I got her. Hairpin showed up at some point to rescue GAIA as we fought, but didn't interfere. It was just us and I… I could've done it… I could've ended it. Gotten revenge, and according to Sapphomet even gotten my Dad back but… I didn't. It didn't feel like I had a choice. But I did. I stopped. I let her live. Everything was screaming, and Sapphy was so… loud… but Yamato told me to trust her. I don't know why I did, but I let her do… shadow bullshit to me… and Sapphomet was quiet. And then she gave me my dice back. And told me that my Dad didn't give them to me… she did… and then I blacked out.
I woke up pretty shortly afterwards and she was gone. With GAIA online and Yamato gone I left the building only to see that Kieran Khan was going ballistic and trying to flatten the town. I ran over there to help out and Lancelot executed a CHAIN YEET with the four of us so that that Gwen chick could punch Kieran.
Shortly afterwards the sky erupted in a brilliant flash as the watchtower’s cannon broke up in the atmosphere. It was beautiful.
After the battle things got confusing. You see, a few weeks ago Gwen approached me out of nowhere and asked me out. I barely knew her, just that she was also in the Flex Girls and on Big Team, but I don’t remember talking much before then. And I knew that she had a girlfriend who she was supposed to be monogamous with. So I declined. Then she got angry so Sapphomet helped back me up, and then she punched Sapphomet. Anyway after the battle she yells at me about facing Yamato alone as if I were supposed to do it with her or something. Like, hello? We never established that!?
But then came the weirdest part, I decided to go home.... But then I remembered, I live with Gwen. That doesn’t make any sense, why would I live with Gwen? If I barely know her, and our first real meeting supposedly went so poorly why do I live with her? It just- feels like something doesn’t fit. And the closer I get to piecing it together the more my head hurts. And now I just have to sit here, in a house, with her. I hear she’s leaving soon. Part of me wants to talk to her, to figure this out before she leaves but… I don’t know if I can handle that. I’ve locked myself in my room since Sunday, I still have to leave occasionally for food and to walk Brimstone, but I just don’t know if I can handle seeing her right now.
I’m starting to get a headache and Brimstone looks worried. I need some sleep. Boon signing off.

## A High-Towering Hero

Time passes, New NPC Intro

*2020, January, 5*
“Bobby? Bobby! Bobby come closer…”
Boon sees herself in a world of parchment and ink. Standing before her is a tall man with a long, blond, pony-tail and a short beard. Horned rimmed glasses rest on his nose and his mouth curls into a smile. “Dad?” Boon queries “Dad is that you?”
“Bobby it’s me, you have to come closer Bobby, I can barely see you. I want to see you again”
“Dad I-” she begins moving forward cautiously “I’m- I’m right here!”
“I can’t see you bobby” As Boon gets close to her father his face twists into a sinister grin and he grabs Boon’s shoulders “**but I know you’re close**” His jaw unhinges and rows of nightmarishly sharp teeth line his mouth. A long forked tongue extends from the depths of his throat and his eyes burn with fire “**YOU WERE SO CLOSE BOBBY**”
From Eric Ostenberg’s skull emerges a shadowy blade... and he’s quiet. He slumps to the ground, his limp body still clutching Boon’s shoulders. Standing behind him his Yamato. A quiet voice emerges from her that says “Barbara Ostenberg… Barbara Ostenberg you have a visitor!”
Boon opens her eyes to see her room at Shady Glen Manor. Brimstone is still curled up at the foot of the bed, but has one eye open and focused on the door, which is currently being knocked on.
“Barbara, a guest is here to see you, I have told her to wait in the Foyer”
*Fuck. That was today.* Boon mutters under her breath *Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.* She groans “Thanks Carol, I’ll be out in a second!” Boon looks around her room to examine its state. The state is not very good. Empty cups once containing instant noodles and cardboard boxes labeled “Sizzle Pouches” are scattered on the floor. Her clothes are “organized” into a dirty pile and a clean pile, and pieces of her hero costume are strewn about near the bed. A slice of pizza sits face down next to an overflowing trash can. *Aggghhh think Bobby think.* An expression of realization crosses Boon’s face. *Aha! Perfect.* Boon draws a magic circle on the ground in chalk and lays her hand on Brimstone’s fur. The circle glows and the trash in the room begins to swirl. It convenes in the center of the circle and begins to compact itself into a ball, which crushes itself smaller, and smaller, and smaller, until a perfect sphere that can fit into the palm of Boon’s hand is formed. “How’s the for an easy cleanup eh boy?” Boon remarks to an uninterested Brimstone, who is still trying to get some sleep. *And now for the clothes.* Boon snaps her fingers together. A trail of smoke forms from the tip of her index finger and snakes its way down her arm to her torso. It trails its way to the floor and begins spreading, climbing over the two piles of clothing. When the smoke settles the piles of clothing have turned invisible, and Boon’s clothing has changed from pajamas to a jeans and a button down. She grabs a ballcap from her nightstand and places it snugly on her head to cover her new horns. *Perfect.*
The second she’s finished the door bursts open and a strong contralto voice booms into the room. “Blessin’! Bring it here you little rascal!” A tall, muscular, blonde woman stands in the doorway, she looks uncannily like a larger version Boon.
“Mom!” Boon exclaims with a smile. “You’re here! Holy shit it’s so good to see you!” She runs over to embrace her mom.
“Hey! Language...” Maggie Ostenberg says with a stern expression, which immediately softens “I’m just fuckin’ with ya’. It’s great to see ya’ kiddo. I’ve missed you.” The two embrace for a long moment, during which Maggie scans the room. A grin crosses her face and she mutters something in Swedish. “This is all very clever Barbara” She snaps her fingers and Boon’s illusions disappear “But you’ll have to do a lot better than that too fool old Mags here” she grins confidently and points at her chest with her thumb. “Couldn’t even be bothered to clean up before your Mom got here, I see how it is”
Boon’s face sinks into a combination of fear and annoyance. “Okay fine you caught me, you don’t have to be smug about it. Just give me a second to get dressed.”
“Sure thing sweetie. Although I should point out that it is absolutely my job to smug about it” she exits the room for a moment and begins conversing with Carol outside.
Boon gives a deep sigh, but then smiles, happy to see her Mom again. She gives scratches behind Brimstones ears who lets out a yawn. She proceeds to put on the real counterpart of the outfit she’d conjured earlier and joins her mother outside.
“Hey Mom, hold up, I made something for you!” Boon runs to the Kitchen and pulls the cake she made with Verve out of the fridge.
As Maggie enters the kitchen she sees Boon presenting a delicately crafted bûche de Noël. “Oh my goodness! Blessing! It’s wonderful! Did you make this yourself?”
Boon sets the cake on the counter and begins cutting off a slice “I had some help from a friend, I wanted to surprise you!” She slides a plate with a slice over to her Mom “So... what do you think?”
Maggie inspects her slice of confectionery for cracks in the cake layer, not finding any she gives a satisfied smile. She takes a bite, making sure to get a good balance of frosting, cake, and filling “By Freya, Bobby this is the best cake I’ve ever fucking had. Who did you say helped you make this?”
“My friend Verve!” Boon excitedly replies “We made it a few days ago. It’s like, Tiramisu flavored!”
“Verve huh?” Maggie grins “She wouldn’t happen to be one of your superhero friends would she?”
“Yeah she-” Boon blushes and stammers “I- I m-mean what n-no I don’t-”
Without changing her expression Maggie holds up a black feathered masquerade mask that she picked up from Boon’s floor. “Not only am I a medium darling, I’m also not an idiot.” She sets the mask on the counter “I know you didn’t just move to Halcyon just so you could finish your last year at a different school… you know we’re gonna have to talk about this right? I know I’m a bit of a hands-off type of parent but it’d still be nice to know what my daughter’s getting herself into”
“Yeah I uh… I’ve been keeping busy up here. Halcyon could use someone of my talents” As she says this she grins and spins her lucky metal dice around in the air above her palm.
Maggie stares at the dice for a moment but then breaks her focus and pinches her forehead “God you are… just… absolutely my daughter” She grins “I’m glad you’ve picked up some skills in magic though, it makes me happy to see you showing the dedication to learn it. I’m a bit skeptical about how you’re powering it though but I'm assuming from the hellhound it's not exactly divine, we can talk about that in a bit. You working with a team or anything, by yourself?”
Boon looks a bit shocked at her Mom’s casual response “Um- yeah I’m um, yeah I’m working on a team. It’s called the Big Team. They’re all around my age. It’s run by- well, I guess nobody right now? It was Mayor Crossover for a while before I joined, and then it was this asshole named Godspeed, now Godspeed got badly injured so I guess…. Us…?”
Maggie widens her eyes a bit “Waitwaitwait. *Mayor* Crossover? As in Christopher Crossover!? Chris is the mayor now!?” She gives hearty laugh “Ahhh good for him”
“Wait- you know Cyclone?” Boon puzzles.
“Of course I know Cyclone! We go way back, I’ve teamed up with him before”
Boon’s jaw nearly hits the table “”Uhhhh Mom- were you…”
“A superhero? Oh fuck yeah, I never told you about that? Before you were born I made quite a name for myself here in Halcyon, just like your grandmother did before she passed. They called me *Skögul*, a noble warrior of Freya. Technically us Valkyrie serve both the Æsir and Vanir but my devotion to Freya is what got me the gig in the first place"
Boom stares blankly at her mother for a solid minute. "Why… didn't you tell me… THAT YOU WERE SO COOL! My Mom is a Valkyrie! That's so fucking rad what the fuck!? All those times I've called you lame you could've just told me you were a *fucking* Valkyrie! That's wild, holy shit."
Maggie feigns offense "Excuse me Blessin' you didn't think I was cool before you knew! I guess you're just not one of my day ones then" Maggie's joking expression wanes and turns to concern after a minute "Um, Boon dear, you're not up here because of your father are you?"
Boon looks down at the table with a telling expression of guilt.
Maggie sighs "I thought so. Listen, Bobby, my darlin', my blessin', I miss Erik. Freya above do I miss the shit out of him, but your father has made exactly one good decision in his life, marryin' me. Now I know it's tempting to come up here trying to find out who killed him and try to get revenge. But you need to find a healthier way to grieve. Your Pa got himself into a whole heap of trouble while he was up here and while I can say with certainty that I hate the guts of whoever did it, it's not worth it to go hunting them down to try to fix his mistakes, you don't owe him that" she makes firm and knowing eye contact with boon for a moment "And perceptive as I am I can tell that your choice in patron leaves somethin' to be desired. Now I'm not here to judge you for that, your grandmother was very close to Odin, and while I have nothing but respect for the allfather he can frankly be a bit of a tricky bitch. But in your moments of desperation it can be easy to turn to the wrong people, because there are unfortunately those in the world who look for people at their weakest so they can sink their hooks in. Besides, certain creatures are just predisposed to trickery, and demons place a huge amount of weight on prior agreements, which can come back to bite you when you find out that you're a different person from the one who made the handshake"
Boon looks solemn and reaches down to pet Brimstone for comfort "She was Dad's…"
Maggie looks confused "Sorry?"
"She was Dad's patron. The source of his powers. She's been 'helping' me find his killer, a woman named Yamato… I found her, Mom… I found the woman who killed Dad… or maybe she didn't. There's a chance his soul is still out there somewhere. If there's even a chance…" Tears well in her eyes as she chokes on her words "that we could bring him back… Mom I have to try" at this point she is fully overcome with tears and rests her head on the countertop.
"Oh… sweetie…" Maggie moves to the other side of the counter and rests an arm on Boon. "It's okay, momma's here, momma's got you…" she begins softly singing an Old Norse poem to her daughter.
When she finishes the song the two sit there quietly in the kitchen, both trying their best to hold tight to this moment before the silence is broken by Boon.
"Mom... I've missed you. Would you… consider staying in Halcyon? For a little?"
Through tears Maggie gives a slight chuckle through her tears. "I was about to ask you if you wouldn't mind. I was actually thinking of getting back into heroism, I've spent too long putting my life as a hero on hold, and now that Eric's gone I'm… ready to get back into it. And who knows, maybe there's some eligible bachelorexes waiting for me?"
Boon looks horrified "Mom! Also, bachelorexes?"
"I'm lonely Bobby don't shame me! And I don't know what the neutral term is"
The two break out into laughter and embrace again. "It's nice to have you around again Mom"

## A light at the End

Season 4 Episode 8 - All Risk, No Reward

*2020, February 22*
Up until this point it feels like this journal has been a record of my biggest regrets. Sometimes I wish I could just burn the pages and start over, the smoldering ink giving way to an erased past. But regret has a funny way of embedding itself in our lives sinking its hooks in even our happiest moments. After all, if things were different, I might not have met Atlanta. I’m proud to say that for the first time in keeping this journal, I might have helped someone. I hope I can look back on this and see that I’ve gotten better, if only a little.
From the top?
I was out at lunch with Anaya. She’s one of the new team members, apparently she used to be in Gambite or whatever. I honestly couldn’t care less, I mean… Kurt was too and they're alright (Gods above I hope Ellen never reads this or she’ll hate me even more) Besides, I… I’m not proud of this but despite everything, when Yamato asked me to join I… I considered it for a moment. Like of course she was also trying to kill all of my friends so hard pass, but for just a moment I felt wanted, appreciated, seen. Of course I know why now, kind of. I no longer want revenge on her, even a little. I’m not convinced she killed my Dad, at least no more than the fucking used car salesman-ass, won’t shut up, manipulative bitch, who lives in my mind and is taking my soul and changed my memories.
Kind of a tangent there, anyway, Anaya, me, lunch, seagulls. Seagulls!? Seagulls. Lots of seagulls. Attacking people and causing them to bleed. Focus and Phalanx showed up and helped us out which was nice. Anyway, this is stupid right, so bear with me, I made a large illusive plate of french fries to lure them away, I mean it worked but I stressed my powers so much for something so stupid. I really need to be more careful about that kind of stuff. I don’t know, I panicked, people were getting hurt, I’d rather push myself too hard than let something bad happen to other people. I could’ve probably figured something else out but, whatever it’s fine, people were okay, I’m okay.
Once things cleared up I noticed that jerk-ass celebrity Jay Jonah Fallon? Focus got really freaked out and made a huge show of running away, and then JJF’s daughter Faith rolled up where she came from wearing the exact same haircut. Listen, I’m dating *Verve*, it was like, super obvious, but I played along, I don’t care and I’m not about to out somebody like that. Anyway after he left “Faith” disappeared and “Focus” reappeared in the same way as before, like I said, not very subtle but I’m not one to judge I’m not exactly subtle myself.
After that some shifty guy approached me claiming to be some kind of… I wanna say parole officer for Anaya? Which is bullshit cause like, she’s not gonna do anything bad now…. Except like, well, steal a car but we’re ignoring that. He claimed she needed to help out with some rehab program assignment and we offered to help out, and then Phalanx ended up claiming accountability for her which was… yikes dude, bad idea.
Anyway we show up to this like… radioactive quarantine zone and we see Nursemaster there! He’s so cool it was good to see him again. Anyway he does his cool knowledge granting thing and has us administer some radiation treatment drugs to people. We ran into this annoying Gambite wannabe named “Lightshow”. She was a huge dick to me and Anaya so I told her off. But then Anaya told me I was acting like a Dad, which broke me. I still haven’t emotionally recovered from that. Anyway we realize this like, radiation ghost(?) Is following lightshow around. We tell her to sit still and it catches up with her. And then it claimed to be her Dad and radioactive blasted us and flew away with her and two other wannabes. So of course we chase after them. I turned into a gargoyle and carried the others after them, but Anaya jumped off at one point to go grab some sort of weapon. As I was flying I got my shit deactivated by whistler and nearly fell, but Focus caught me! Once we were all on the ground it was showtime.
Lightshow and her Dad were floating above the city street, Weird-eyes was hypnotizing passersby, and whistler was providing support. We kicked the crap out of Weird-Eyes and Whistler but Lightshow’s dad was starting to go nuclear. At some point Phalanx threw a telephone pole at the two of them causing Lightshow to get dropped by her Dad. An arrow from Focus went into the pole causing splinters to cover her eyes. At this point Anaya used this weird mirror box from… you know what I have no idea where the fuck she got it, anyway she trapped Lightshow’s dad inside of it. I didn’t get a good look at it going off though as instinct took over and I jumped in to catch Lightshow.
Her eyes were busted up pretty bad. She was screaming in pain. I- I tried to save her, I tried to use my telekinesis and the knowledge that Nursemaster had imparted to get the splinters out but… I made a mistake… It was so stupid of me… so typical to try to help with something I knew I couldn’t. I could’ve let a doctor handle it, or anyone else, but no, I had to play the hero. Had to be the one doing something out of her league. And I was left there with the product of my hubris, a girl that I’d personally blinded. So I did something drastic to atone for my mistakes.
I ripped off a piece of my soul.
Not sacrificed to Sapphomet, not bargained away… destroyed… Gone forever…
I guess it’s uh, it’s kinda funny. That’s one piece of me Sapphomet’s never gonna get to huh? It’s been sinking in that I don’t see myself making it through this. I don’t see me ever getting rid of Sapphomet, I don’t even care about avenging my Dad anymore, so now I’m just gonna get taken over and have nothing to show for it. Almost nothing that is…
I helped someone. I performed a ritual using the piece of my soul that I tore out, and I used it to heal Lightshow. But not just her eyes. I gave her her powers back, and her memories. After I healed her she realized she was part alien, and that her father was also an alien. Now that she had her powers back they could return home together. We let her and her father go and they flew away into space. For once in my life I felt like I’d done the right thing, helped someone… It felt nice…
Anyway after that we all got radiation poisoning and had to go to the hospital.
At the hospital Focus and I had a chat. It was really cool meeting her and getting to work with her today. She’s pretty handy with a bow too, unlike me. I actually asked her if she wanted to show me the ropes sometime and she agreed. I couldn’t help but slip in that I could totally tell she was Faith though, can’t get anything by this girl. I’m glad I’m making more friends on the team though, especially after what happened with Ellen and Carm... not that it'll matter soon...
Something else happened today though, something weird. I went home after the mission, said hi to Lukas and Carol, and fed Brimstone. I noticed Brimstone was whining and had a limp and then realized that he had injured his paw. When I went to inspect it though it just kind of... healed itself... anyway that was weird but Brimstone’s a Hellhound so I’m sure it had something to do with that.
Anyway after I’m done writing this journal I’m gonna head to the cabin to do some reading. I’ve got some research to do…

## To the Real Ellen Drummond

Season 4 Episode 4 - Valentine's Halcyon Style

*2020, February 27*
Hey Ellen,
I’ve been a bit nervous to talk since, you know, then. I figured I’d send you an apology the old fashioned way since, well, I don’t know if you have an email address or whatever. I can understand if you never want to talk to me again. And honestly you might not have to. As of sending this I’m quitting the Flex Girls. Y’all are great performers, and Shade has been super excited to join, and I just don’t want to bring that kinda drama in. We all know you’re the real talent behind it anyway. When y’all hit the big times I’ll be rooting for you, publicly, because I’ll also be a famous derby player (kidding)
But none of that’s gonna matter anyway, and it’s actually related to why I acted the way I did the other night...
I’m dying.
And I know I can’t just spring a secret on you like that without asking, especially given our standing at the moment, but I don’t want Atlanta to know, not yet.
The other Ellen, the older one, was talking about my father that night. About how he… killed her partner. I didn’t want to believe it, not just because he’s my Dad and he’s “perfect” or whatever bullshit. I mean, I’ve met Ernest, I’ve met Atlanta, people have shitty fathers it’s to be expected. But when mine died, the person that I mourned was not the person that he was. And I didn’t have the proper framework to understand the horrible things he’s probably done while working for Yamato. When the expectations we have of those we look up to is shattered it can undermine our perception of reality around us, I’m sure you can understand that more so than anyone. But this wasn’t just about finding out that my Dad was a killer.
Grief is powerful. It can change the way we see ourselves, see others, see the world. It’s a time of reflection and readjustment, and it is an opportune time to take advantage of a human being. You see when my “perfect” “loving” father died, two pieces of him were left in the world, the damage that he’d caused, and a living breathing shadow of his greed. And that shadow found me, and offered revenge. Revenge against a world that took that “flawless” person away from me and revenge against the woman who killed him. Who was I to resist.
I forged a contract in blood, claim to my soul in exchange for the power to defeat my father’s killer. Thinking I could always worm my way out of the deal somehow after getting my revenge I gladly accepted. It wasn’t until later that I would realize what I’d gotten myself into, and now my time is almost up. And I’ve realized I have nobody worth avenging in the first place. That perfect father never existed. And now all I can do is wait until my mistakes catch up with me.
Ellen, if I’m going to die I don’t want to leave on these terms. You don’t have to accept my apologies for that night but I have to at least say something before neither of us can… And I want you to take care of Atlanta, make sure she finds someone better than me after I’m gone. I know, I know, that’s hard to do am I right? Sorry, had to.
Just one last thing though. Halcyon city has changed my life. It may have been under grim circumstances, but I’m happy I ended up here, even if it’ll be my death. If I hadn’t met you or Gwen or Ernest or Atlanta. I wouldn’t be remotely the same person I am today. Remember that, please.
Take care Ellen,
Barbara Ostenberg
[Attached is a picture from a flex Girls practice featuring Gwen, Melody, Ellen, and Boon in the middle of playing a song]

## The 13th Card

Season 4 OVA - The Devil's Due

*2020, March 13*
I’m
Fucking
FREEEEEEE!!!!!!
They- WE did it. She’s Gone, done, no more, banished to Helheim. Pushing up daisies. An ex-demon. Pining for the Fjords. I’m DONE. It’s done… I’m free.
This morning I woke up, I got dressed, I brushed my teeth, I had a nice chat with Atlanta and Gwen, I made bacon, and I was myself the whole time. Nobody watching, nobody judging, nobody controlling what I say. I could remember my whole history with Gwen, the exact way I was supposed to. After so long, I’m finally my own person, no passengers. And I would never have been able to do it without my friends. Even if things aren’t perfect with them, they literally saved my life, and I’ll never forget that.
The day began. I got lunch with my Mom, she went off to go talk to Mayor Crisp? I have no idea why and honestly I’m not sure I wanna know. When she leaves I get contacted by Sapphomet, who drags me to the basement and tells me that our contract is getting filled **today**. So that was spooky as hell. Next she opens a portal and a bunch of demons pile out which Sapphomet tells me are to go find Yamato, since if I kill Yamato the deal is up and she is free to take my soul. Which cannot happen for obvious reasons. I need that.
I immediately call Atlanta. I had planned to give her a calm measured response to ask for her help but it just kind of came out as “Ohmygoditshappening imgonnadiewhatthefuck” So I was more panicked than I thought. I ran as fast as I could to the Community Center, I grabbed Ernest and I kicked open the broom closet and just started panicking and telling everyone to help me. I think I said something about punching demons I don’t remember. just desperately hoping Ellen still wants to make good on her offer.
Anyway. We hear screams. We go outside and find that there’s demons rampaging everywhere looking for Yamato. I also hear Sapphomet say that she’ll be making an appearance in the flesh, so we split up. Here’s the catch, Carm, okay, okay. Carm. Y’all know Carm? Carm is intimidating. She can fuck you up. Her claws and teeth? Sorry, I just, two people in the world scare me, and they are Elle and Carm. I don’t know what it is. Carm demands I go with her to find Yamato, and will NOT let Atlanta come with me. I mean I’m sure she had her reasons but… I wanted her by my side… you know? She’s been there for me lately, I trust her. But at that moment, no way in hell am I disagreeing with her.
So we go out to find Yamato. I try to get Brimstone to sniff her out using my dice. He has a little bit of trouble so Carm helps him? Carm can sniff really well apparently which is interesting but I don’t question it. We talked on the way while we followed the trail so I brought up… well… Ellen. The last time I talked to Carm she told me to apologize to Ellen, and I did! It didn’t go very well but I did it. I brought up Ellen leaving and Carm said she figured that was inevitable, and plans to go with her. I expected myself to be sad about that but I wasn’t really? I mean, I would miss both of them, but the thought of Ellen leaving Carm behind was what hit me the hardest the other day. I’m just happy to know that wherever they end up, they’ll be together. And it kinda makes me happy to think about Carm getting to meet her family again? I don’t know, it’s sad, but I get it. I was also caught off guard since I just kind of assumed that Carm was only helping me because of Atlanta, but she told me that there was more of me to like than I gave myself credit for, which was extremely sweet? More-so than I would expect from her but, she’s just full of surprises it seems.
Anyway we get to the Drummond home and there’s a demon already there. Carm and I beat it up together and all of the kids inside cheered for us. Carm jabbed my shoulder and said “There’s another reason not to die” which helped a lot. Anyway we went inside and explained the situation to Sam and Joy. For a moment there Sam almost kicked me out of the Black Magic Club (the good one) since she compared me to Vic. Which… like… fuck… but then after hearing my side of things drew a connection between Vic and Sapphomet and got a lot more sympathetic.
So Sam and Joy brings us to Ellen's office, since apparently she’s in there having a meeting with Yamato. But not before Joy awkwardly flirts with Carm… I think… Anyway Ellen opens the door wearing a Blazer and tries to claim that Yamato isn’t there, which is clearly false. She abandons the lie pretty quickly so we go in and find… her…
It was a bit strange seeing her in this context, and especially bizarre to just have a fucking fireside chat where we’re trying to *protect* her of all things. But. Yeah, we weren’t able to talk for long and I learned that Sapphomet might have used a different name and appearance with my Dad? We were interrupted by the bitch herself appearing in my vision to tempt me with something or other as usual and adult Ellen just fucking punches her.
Okay okay okay. I really need to make sure nobody **ever** reads this but like, adult Ellen is really hot!? I mean like, she’s massive, and strong, and she can punch demons because of her magic tattoos!? And she runs an orphanage for goth girls? And rides motorcycles. And she just has a fucking air about her? I feel really bad even saying any of this since I’m dating Atlanta now but it’s not like anyone but me reads this right? What can I say, I’m extremely gay and when I see someone that pretty I just have to vent about it. Fuckin’ shoot me.
Anywho. Carm realizes she can smell Sapphomet to track her because she’s part cat or whatever (can cats smell good?) and delivers some punches of her own. After beating up the apparition we warn Yamato to stay safe, with the sidenote that she fucking owes me one and we need to have a serious conversation at some point in the near future. Carm tried to get her to come with us but she was all like “...I’m just gonna dip…” and then turned into smoke and yote herself out the window. But yeah with her out of the way Sapphomet can’t fill the contract for the time being. So we go back to meet up with everyone.
Apparently the house team had been doing…. A job… of defending Shady Glenn. Not a good job, not a bad job, just a job. The house was nearly destroyed so… anyway we go downstairs to find just Atlanta mending the hell portal with her powers. I was so happy to see her after everything. I think I nearly forgot about what we were doing just because of how thrilled I was to see her. I was rudely interrupted by red bitch though when she started reopening the portal Atlanta worked so hard to close. Atlanta tells us we need to follow Ernest and Ellen to the cabin so I made a little “shortcut” there in the form of a portal of my own.
Warping there bought us just enough time to get set up with everything. I started getting to work setting up a ritual that would seal her away for good. I got most of it in place but actually ended up needing to call Rhi for help, who was actually apparently in town to help deal with… her house… yeah… sorry Rhi, sorry Elle. Anyway she gives me a few pointers and I’m able to get everything just right. And conveniently our mark arrived just in time. She made some vague threats and taunted me a bit, so I just had Ernest push her into the circle, and then it was all over for her.
I activated the circle and as I did I could feel myself being purged of her, I could feel her influence slipping away as she was dragged into Helheim. It was an amazing feeling, knowing that I’d done it, and I wouldn’t have to worry about her again. She did try one last move though. She tried to take my dice. I’d long since been suspecting this but that just about confirmed it. I think my Dad’s soul is in those dice somehow.... God I really need to talk to Yamato don’t I? Anyway Ernest and Verve saved them! But even so, she let out one last blast of infernal magic which caused everyone’s powers to go haywire. Carm disappeared, Atlanta and Ellen passed out, and Ernest started shooting lightning everywhere. The house caught ablaze so I had to drag them back out, and Carm reappeared. The cabin was gone, honestly, Ernest saved me the trouble of doing it myself (editor’s note: I wouldn’t have actually burned it down, fire safety is important kids).
The triumphant moment was short lived as everyone immediately returned to being angry at each other. Because of course. Apparently Ernest learned about Verve and was extremely not cool about not being let in on that. He exploded at her and ran away. Of course I’m not just going to let him yell at my girlfriend like that so I attempted to talk some sense into him, but he wasn’t having it. It really sucks to see your friends fight like that… but you know, Ernest will come around eventually, they’re friends, and if I’ve learned anything it’s that staying angry at your friends takes effort. But damn if it doesn’t hurt to see him be upset over that.
After everything settled down I got to have a chat with my Mom. we went for a nice walk and talked about Dad for a while. About missing him but also about coping with the mistakes he made. But then something really really really really really really cool happened. She decided to teach me how to be a Valkyrie! I get to follow in her footsteps and learn how to be an actual fucking **warrior**! How cool is that!? I’m not a full on Valkyrie yet but I get to be shieldmaiden!
Oh yeah. I also ran into Gwen! I talked about that briefly at the beginning but it was amazing seeing her again. Especially now that my memories are all back to normal. I talked a bit about the band and about why I quit, and especially about how I don’t know if I can go back now that I’m not as strong anymore. She gave me a cheesy line about “The flex of my heart” and as hilarious as it was… she’s right… I’m gonna talk to Melody and see if I can rejoin. Oh. She also gave me this sick fucking spear! Just in time for my new look.
All in all. I’m obviously worried about my friends way more now. But now that I’m over having my pity party about making stupid decisions I feel like it’s my turn to start paying it forward. Ellen, Carm, Atlanta, Ernest… they saved my life. I will never forget that. And dammit I’m going to help them be friends again! I swear on Gungnir.