Audrey Ballsit

Audrey Ballsit is a player created character, portrayed by James "Bacon" Heyes, in Budgens and Dragons.

## Show Bio

Audrey Ballsit has 6 toes on one foot and will often talk to her imaginary friend Dr. Bing Bong, the doctor dog clown. She sees him as if he were real, and treats him like he's really there in front of her. But nobody else can see him, unless he makes himself known.

She loves riding e-scooters; so she bought one, but the battery is nearly always dead.

She can hold her breath for half an hour because one time she ate a trout that had gone off in the sun - because of this she does have constant IBS.

She likes carrots.

Positive: Can hold breath for half an hour

Negative: Has very bad IBS and sees an evil, imaginary friend called Dr. Bing Bong.

## Appearances

### Episode 5: The Ritualistic Dance of the Cuckoos

Audrey is prodded awake by Dr. Bing Bong screaming at her to get out of bed. Her IBS acts up, and she manages to shit in two pairs of trousers. She goes to meet Mother. Mother berates her for shitting herself. Mans Ingonyama walks in, and despite knowing him for a while, Audrey is amazed that he can talk. Suddenly Desmond Lettuce appears, but Audrey stays strong. Audrey finds out the scratch card is worth £5. They leave the house, and when trying to decipher the way to Budgens, Audrey consults Dr. Bing Bong, who tells her to go in the opposite direction that Desmond suggests. However, Desmond has the nerve to call out Audrey talking to "thin air" as he put it. The Mans and Graham Christmas side with Desmond. This angers Dr. Bing Bong. Audrey shits herself, which gets on everyone. After a brief shit coma, Mans is woken up by two distant thuds, and bolts left down the road. Audrey and Desmond follow him, and Graham, who is being dragged along. As they follow the lion, Audrey sees Dr. Bing Bong enter a house and sees blood appear on the window. Then Audrey shits herself again, caking Desmond.

Feeling sorry for herself, and realising that she will never run out of shit, she witnesses Dr. Bing Bong slash tyres and stop traffic. This only happens in her mind. Dr. Bing Bong then shoves Audrey into the road, so she advances to the other side, with no problems. Audrey is terrified. Mans and Graham make it fine, Desmond dies, and Audrey crosses whilst getting the green cross code wrong in her head. When Audrey reaches the other side, she is met with a sleeping lion and Graham picking himself up off the floor. Audrey suggests kicking him awake. As she lines up her kick, Dr. Bing Bong screams manically. This proves to be a big mistake, as Mans wakes up angry and swiping his big paws. The end result is that both Audrey and Graham are dead.

Upon being murdered by Mans, Audrey is freed from Dr. Bing Bong. He then starts appearing in visions to Mans. He jumps on his back, and the lion attacks. The lion foolishly ends up motally wounding itself, and dies.

## Confirmed Kills

1. Dr. Bing Bong manifested himself onto the back of Mans Ingonyama, and caused the lion to fatally injure itself - *Episode 5, Loop 6*

## Quotes

* **"IF YOU SHOULD DIE BEFORE YOU WAKE...!"** - Dr. Bing Bong, *Episode 5, Loop 6*

## Trivia

* Audrey Ballsit was the first original character to have a theme song, The Dance of the Cuckoos. As she went more and more insane, the song becomes more distorted and warped.
* She follows a trend of Bacon's characters which is beginning the episode with a ridiculous accent that completely changes by the end, usually ending up just being Bacon's normal speaking voice.
* Dr. Bing Bong would later become his own character.
* At no point during the episode does she ever mention liking carrots.
* She continues a Budgens and Dragons trend of having characters shit their pants