Pilot (Mall Santa)

**"Pilot"** is the first episode of the first season of the Christmas dark comedy drama series *Mall Santa*, and the first episode of the series overall.

## Summary

### Teaser

At Dandruff Mall, the Christmas season is just beginning. At the centre of the attention is Santa's Workshop, where Edmund The Christmas Clown stands guard with children and their parents waiting to see Santa Claus. Stephanie Rose comes out and undoes the rope, allowing the children to come in. They wait until Derek Tavern, dressed as Dandruff's Santa, comes out and lets out a big "ho ho ho!"

### Act I

Derek sits with a 9-year-old boy named Steve, who wants a DJI drone for Christmas. As Derek talks to him, a group of teenagers start to harass Edmund, making fun of him for being a clown. After being called a bunch of names and derogatory terms, Edmund picks the main teen up and screams his own derogatory terms in his face, before telling him to "make [him] a sandwich, [the boy] fatty." Derek continues to talk with Steve. Just as Steve is about to leave, Edmund comes in and the teens have him in a chokehold.

Desperate to help him, Derek immediately gets up, however as a result, Steve goes flying and smacks his head hard on a Christmas tree. Steve's Mother and Father are horrified and Stephanie demands Edmund call for an ambulance once she gets him out of the choke hold. After Steve is taken to hospital, Derek, Edmund, and Stephanie regather at Dandruff Mall's coffee shop, Greg's Coffee. Derek says that Steve has a concussion and Stephanie tells him that he could get fired and face criminal charges for allowing Steve to fall off his lap. Derek disbelieves, saying he doesn't believe he could get charged because it was an accident. However, Stephanie notes that people get charged for negligence, which could be what Derek faces.

### Act II

Steve's Mother and Father sit in the hospital with their son. Derek comes in and asks how Steve is doing. Steve regains consciousness and says he's fine. The parents pull Derek aside to speak with him privately, where they berate him for almost killing their son. The dad says he is going to report Derek to his Manager unless he does something for them. Meanwhile, Edmund has taken the place of Santa for the afternoon, where he scares all the children away from him. Back at the hospital, the parents say they want Derek to pay them $5 million for a false charge that doesn't exist, called 'Child Damages.' Derek is flabbergasted.

He tells Stephanie and Edmund about what the parents are planning to do. Edmund points out that what the parents are doing is blackmail, and they demand that Derek stand up for himself. He brushes them off and says he'll find a way to get the parents their money.

### Act III

While at work, Derek's manager, Caroline Rousen, who points out the $5 million the parents want. According to her, the parents are now threatening to shut down Dandruff Mall's Christmas traditions if Derek doesn't pay them. Derek points out that because what the parents are demanding of him is illegal that Caroline should have the power to stop it. However, he is appalled by her lack of care and willingness for her job and everything about it to be shut down. Derek says he's "working on" a way to pay the parents. Meanwhile, Stephanie and Edmund go to Steve's house and speak with his parents. Stephanie asks them what 'Child Damages' is, and the parents admit to it being false or non-existent, but they want compensation for their son's near death experience.

Stephanie desperately tries to reason with them. She states that the whole thing was an accident and that the parents are overreacting, but Steve's Mother stays strong on her argument. They then kick them both out of the house. Stephanie says to Edmund that the fight is over and that there is nothing they can do. However, that same night, Edmund drives back to Steve's House in a van and sneaks into the house. He gasses Steve with Halothane and then carries him outside, putting him in his van and driving off. The next morning, the parents call the police about their missing son, where an unwilling police officer takes down information about the couple's missing son.

After the police leave to start searching for Steve, Edmund comes in the house and admits to kidnapping Steve. The dad tries to fight him but he holds his own. Steve's Mum begs Edmund to give Steve back. He says he will if they withdraw their complaints from Derek as well as Dandruff Mall, and if they don't, he will keep Steve and never return him. The parents agree, and after Steve's Mum withdraws her complaints, Edmund returns Steve to her. The next day, Caroline sadly tells Derek that he is no longer in danger and that the parents have withdrawn their complaints. As Derek and Stephanie get back to work, Edmund stays at his home drinking eggnog.