Darryl Wilson

This page contains possibly major spoilers for the events of the podcast. Scroll at your own risk.

## Darryl Wilson

Darryl Wilson portrayed in the Season 1 cover art by Alex Moore.

### Relatives

Robert Wilson (grandfather)
Frank Wilson (father)
Casey Wilson (sister)
Carol Wilson (wife)
Grant Wilson (son)
Lincoln Li-Wilson (adoptive grandson)

### Affiliation

The Doodlers
Henry Oak-Garcia
Ron Stampler
Glenn Close

## Character Information

### Class

Barbarian (Path of the Ancestral Guardian)

## Appearances

### Debut

Season 1 Episode 1 "A Man and His Handshake"

Darryl is a stay-at-home coach dad who finally came  into his own as  a barbarian when he entered the Forgotten Realms. He is Grant Wilson’s father and the husband of Carol Wilson.

He is sucked through a portal together with Henry Oak, Glenn Close and Ron Stampler, and together they try find their lost sons.

## Personality

Darryl is very straightforward and trusting.

## Appearance

Darryl wears a cap and occasionally sunglasses. He is "a dad that's a little fat".

## History

### Initial Landing

The dads and their sons are headed to a soccer tournament. On the way their Honda Odyssey is sucked into a purple portal and they wake up in a strange land without their sons. They are attacked by people in red cloaks, and kill them with the exception of Three, whom they grill for details. They learn that The Lance has sold their children to slavery. They attempt to negotiate with the Lance, and Darryl makes a deal forcing him to eat his son's skin the next time he sees him. Henry steals a list with their son's locations on it. They decide to head towards Neverwinter where Lark and Sparrow are. On the way they encounter a fairy dragon named Gartok who has enslaved his children with Imperator Collars. They rewrite the instructions on the collars with the help of Darryl from the future and use them to force Gartok to be a good dad.

**Initial Landing**
Darryl is introduced driving a Honda Odyssey Minivan and trying to make discussion with his son Grant. They are heading to a Westrock Elementary soccer tournament. On the way Darryl picks up Glenn, Henry and Ron and their sons who are also taking part in the tournament. They pick up the other dads and are heading towards the tournament when their car is pulled into a purple portal and pulled into Faerûn.

As they wake up, Darryl calls for a roll call. Then upon finding that the kids are missing, he secretly grabs a Charlestown Chew. Glenn calls AAA and 911, and shortly after the dads are attacked by three people in red cloaks. Darryl fights in a rage with a toolbox hatchet. Eventually the redcloaks are defeated, with the only captured survivor introducing himself as Three. Three tells the dads that The Lance sold their children to slavery, but will have a log stating their location. Three agrees to take the dads to The Lance’s house in Phandalin.

The dads plan to trade Three for sons' location. Glenn holds three at knifepoint while Darryl takes out his hatchet, but The Lance shoots Three with a crossbow. The dads discuss other strategies and Henry excitedly suggests pretending to be a warparty or pretending to be emissaries from the Kingdom of Westrock, and having Glenn tell their story as a Wonderwall-cover. At the end Glenn starts playing Wonderwall and telling The Lance that they are emissaries from the Kingdom of Westrock. Darryl immediately interrupts him, saying they were supposed to be warriors. Henry interrupts Darryl by silencing him with a kiss.

The Lance is unimpressed by this, so offer him Darryl’s Nokia with the Snake-game. The Lance doesn't care for the game, but as Ron mentions the loss of his dog who got bitten by a snake, The Lance seems to relent. Darryl attempts to persuade The Lance by showing him a picture of himself and Grant getting a puppy. However, as he mentions that Grant lost the puppy, The Lance grows furious. He starts insulting Grant. Henry chimes in that they are trying to punish Grant, which is why they want to find him and then calms Darryl down with another kiss. Darryl collects himself and makes a blood pact that binds the dads to eating Grant's skin when they meet him. The Lance shows Darryl Grant’s location. Then, as Darryl is speaking to The Lance, Darryl kisses Lance as a distraction and Henry successfully steals the page which lists their sons locations.

The dads leave The Lance’s house with the list, and consider their options. Darryl has to eat Grant's skin, Glenn thinks Nick'll be fine and Ron believes Terry Jr. is better off without him, so they decide to head to Lark and Sparrow who are in Neverwinter.
Henry knocks Glenn out with a dad joke and the dads decide to sleep at the Wispy Woods Inn to recover.

There is the sound of yelling and kicking near the inn and Henry and Darryl go investigate. They come to find a group of people beating a small fairy dragon with bracelets called. Henry argues they should lead by good example and stop the mob. Darryl greets the dragon and picks it up. It introduces itself as Gartok and tells the dads he is trying to find his lost children. Darryl and Henry offer to help him and invite him along.
> **Henry:** [yelling] *Ron, this is Gartok. He’s gonna come with us on our journey.*
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> **Gartok:** *I’m Gartok.*
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> **Ron:** *Okay, hey Gartok.*
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> **Glenn:** [Only just waking up] *What the fuck is that!?*
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They head to the Inn. To get a room Ron pretends to be a brewer Sweet Matilda and with Darryl's help manages to convince her to buy their beer. Eventually they agree on 15 barrels for 8 silver a barrel, with 3 in advance and a room for the night.

The dads share a dream of a figure in a purple cloak, saying something in a booming voice, pointing at the, but they cannot remember what it said upon waking up.

They escape the in through the window and head back to the van and start driving towards Neverwinter. Darryl offers Gartok some of his beer and Charleston Chews, looking at Gartok fondly as he works through them. Eventually they find Gartok's children's hideout. Gartok mentions he cannot go inside and he cannot explain, which causes one of Gartok's bracelets to fire up. Ron decides to try and take a bracelet off. This results in the death of one of Gartok's children. Gartok then tries to kill Ron.

The dads leave Gartok in the car and head towards the hideout. Darryl pulls Henry aside, and gives Henry his Charleston Chews and tells Henry to give him one whenever he does something his dad would be proud of. Inside they find the two remaining dragon children, weeping at the death of their brother. The dragon children reveal that Gartok has been keeping them enslaved, though this is normal for dragons. They encountered a man in a purple cloak, who allowed them to pull out of a Deck of Many Things and have Gartok put the bracelets on himself instead of them.

The dads come to agree that they should stop Gartok, and decide that they will put the bracelets back on Gartok but make them say other things that will force him to be a good dad. They argue about what makes a good dad and what they want to do for their children. Henry brings up values like love and honesty, Darryl brings up the Golden Rule, Glenn brings up allowing your kids to make their own mistakes and Ron brings up wanting Terry Jr. to never have to feel like Ron did at his age. They agree on "Treat your kids like you’d wanna be treated and let your kids make their own decisions, within a certain boundary, until they're dragon adult age and do not buy store brand for toilet paper or mac and cheese.

They are interrupted by a time traveling Darryl from the future. The present Darryl doesn't like time travel and refuses to acknowledge the uture Darryl who tells them to change the bracelets to say "Treat your kids in the same way you would want to be treated. But if you don't like yourself and you would actually treat yourself badly, that doesn't mean you can hurt your kids or hurt anybody they love, and that the bracelets cannot be removed by anybody other than these four dads." He also tells them to remove the, "Within a certain boundary" thing. Then he runs off.

They put the bracelets on Gartok and take Gartok to the children. Henry blurts out that they killed the dragons' sibling, but Gartok interrupts him, saying that it is his fault for treating his children like commodities.

The dads continue their journey and leave the dragons behind and head to Neverwinter.

### Neverwinter

The dads go to Neverwinter to find Lark and Sparrow. It turns out the city houses the Cult of the Doodler, headed by the Lord of Chaos. The dads want to talk to the Lord of Chaos to find out where Lark and Sparrow are. They meet Sheriff Boreanaz, a major member of the cult, who tells them that if they impress the Lord of Chaos he will allow them to meet him. Also, he wants to summon the Doodler to end and remake the world. The dads get naked to fight some monsters and mortified Lark and Sparrow reveal themselves to be the Lord of Chaos. They imprison the dads. The dads promptly escape. Sparrow escapes to start the mass sacrifice ritual and Henry pursues him and manages to convince him that true strength is to be a love wolf. The other dads fight guards and capture Lark. They free Chekhov's Snake and Everything. Darryl spares Cern but kills his children with the Bag of Beans by dropping a pyramid on the tower.

**Neverwinter**

The dads arrive outside Neverwinter and see a picture of the Doodler across the former banner of the city. Glenn suggests they intimidate the guards by honking the horn and dress up in leftover soccer jerseys to convince the guards that they are the emissaries of the Doodler. Darryl manages to make the shirt look remarkably good, and feels happy about himself for the first time in a good while. They successfully enter Neverwinter and take a short rest.

They wake up surrounded by guards. The guards mention the two previous emissaries disappeared, seemingly turning into The Lord of Chaos. The guard directs the group to The Lord of Chaos, who is at Ankara the Entertaining's Pit of Myriad Delights.

On the way, Darryl tries to sneak two Charleston Chews. The first attempt is successful, but he gets caught on the second attempt. Henry gives the Charleston Chews to the Bleeding Elf as a punishment.

The Pit of Myriad Delights has two pits, one for an orgies and another for fighting monsters.

Sheriff David Boreanaz arrives to interrogate the group. He reveals the Doodler resembles an eldritch god worshipped by a cult he's a part of, and that the prophecy states that when the Lord of Chaos sheds the blood of an unsung hero, the Doodler will be released and remake the world into a better one.

Darryl is entranced by the sex pit and heads towards it, leading to Henry accidentally rip Darryl’s shirt off. Darryl pushes Henry into the sex pit, mortified. In the sex pit, Henry declines advances and leaves.

Sheriff Boreanaz isn’t particularly impressed, but suggests proving worthiness in the fighting pit, which may draw the eye of the Lord of Chaos, who in turn may know where Lark and Sparrow are. The group prepares for combat and Henry suggests getting naked to invoke chaos. Darryl, Glenn, and Henry strip down Ron is wearing several layers of clothing underneath, and only takes off the topmost one.

Lark and Sparrow drop their cloak and are revealed to be the Lord of Chaos. Lark requests guards to move the dads to the dungeon to avoid their Henry's anger. Henry, Darryl and Ron get knocked unconscious. Glenn surrenders and remains conscious, and so sees the group be taken to a tower with an elevator. The twins take elevator up, guards take dads down to prison, still naked.

Ron discovers a discolored brick in his cell with runes sayin “I’m Hungry.” Ron responds, “Hi Hungry, I’m dad.”, and frees all dads with the exception of Henry, though Darryl believes he freed them. Darryl chases Lark and Sparrow after being freed, Glenn fights a guard, Ron hides in his pants. Glenn helps a shapeshifting murderer called Everything escape her cell. Darryl tells a lizard man to run and he will spare him, planning to take an attack of opportunity. But he misses, so the lizard man is free to go.

Darryl pretends to be the "Dad of Chaos," and threatens to crush Lark’s head, which intimidates guards to release Henry. Lark and Sparrow agree to start the ceremony separately. Sparrow heads to the elevator to summon The Doodler without Lark. Henry chases after Sparrow.

In the prison the remaining dads work on gathering their strength for escape. They stuff Lark in a cell for the time being. Darryl frees a man-sized snake in a cell through an attempted handshake. Everything joins them in their escape attempt and guides them to the armory, where they retrieve their weapons. Glenn also picks up a nunchaku. Each dad gets an item, Darryl gets Perfume of Bewitching, Ron gets Hat of Vermin, Glenn gets Alchemy Jug. In addition Darryl gets a bag of magic beans that Everything warns are unpredictable. They then proceed upwards towards Henry and Sparrow.

Sheriff Boreanaz commands soldiers to attack Henry and Sparrow. Henry bites Boreanaz and Sparrow follows suit. Sparrow is hit and falls unconscious. Henry attempts to escape with the elevator but is pursued by Boreanaz and several guards. When the other dads reach them, Darryl drops the Bag of Beans down the elevator shaft, and four beans spill out creating eggs, a geysir of apple juice, pink toads, and a 60x60ft pyramid which begins to crush the tower under its weight. Ron and Darryl start to fall. Ron pulls out sticky frogs out of the hat of vermin and manages to climb down safely. Glenn saves Darryl by reaching out with his nunchaku.

The tower is reduced to rubble. The dads realize that since Lark was underground in the prison he must be under the rubble. With the help of the people from the orgy pit Lark is rescued. The town starts to erupt into chaos the group rushes to the Honda Odyssey. Ron grabs one of the five eggs along the way. The lizard man, Cern, whom Darryl accidentally spared joins the group in the van telling Darryl he owes Darryl a Wookie Life Debt.

Sparrow’s eyes suddenly glow with purple and he is taken over by an ominous voice, calling Henry unworthy as a father. As Lark and Sparrow fade out of existence, Sparrow asks if he did good.

### Battle Axe of Hatred

The dads attempt to find Glenn's son Nick. Nick has joined a gang called Watermice, who the dads help steal the Battle Axe of Hatred from a rival gang called the Redbrands. In retaliation the Redbrands challenge the Watermice to a battle of the bands. Nick and Glenn are supposed to play together and the rest of the dads are meant to sabotage the other band by infiltrating, but instead they give the perfect performance. Nick and Glenn escape to Waterdeep to start a drug empire. They also find Paeden. The dads catch up with them, and Glenn gives a weak apology. Nick is taken by the figures in purple robes.

**Battle Axe of Hatred**

After leaving Neverwinter, the group gathers around a campfire. Henry is miserable about having lost his sons. Darryl points out that since they took Lark and Sparrow because they thought Henry wasn’t taking good enough care of them. Glenn tells Henry that he is cool and shouldn’t care what that guy says. Ron tells Henry that it is worse for them and he is sad too for losing his frogs. Darryl calls a "dad huddle" as an excuse to give Henry a hug. He asks if Cern is a dad. Cern reveals the tragic loss of his children to the pyramid spawned from the Bag of Beans, and mentions that he owes a Wookiee Life Debt to Darryl.

The group, during sleep, returns to the scorched wasteland from their previous shared dream. Another man in a purple robe appears, saying that he has take Lark and Sparrow because Henry is a failure as a father. Purple-robed man predicts the ongoing pattern of taking each saved child. Darryl and Henry keep interrupting him and eventually he zips up their mouths.
Next day the dads notice the Odyssey is low on gas, and head to a nearby village to sort it. Glenn texts Nick.

> **Glenn:** *Hey, bro. Where you at?*
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> **Nick:** *who dis?*
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> **Glenn:** *It’s your dad. We’re lookin’ for yah.*
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> **Nick:** *lol*
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In the village, the group finds a two story pile of books. Next to the books is The Library, who at first glance seems like an old man, but crawls up the pile of books like a spider. He deals in knowledge, so the group must trade information for the books they wish to borrow. Henry claims they are from another realm he calls "Ee'Arth." Glenn attempts to bluff for a book on bard tunes, using lyrics from "Wild Wild West" by Will Smith. Failing the bluff, Glenn reveals a band secret about saving songs for an encore to obtain the book. Library mentions, that if they do not return the books in two weeks, he will kill them and bind books in their skin.
The group finds out that to fill the gas tank they must fill it with mucus and then give the car compliments. Darryl, Henry, and Ron fail to provide them. Glenn succeeds by complimenting the van in Japanese, remarking that it is of Japanese make and model.
Finally, the group continues their journey towards Waterdeep. They come to a bridge on which two thugs demand a toll. Glenn receives a text from Nick saying, "*lol i'm watching u*."Bandits emerge from the trees, with one landing in a blade pose on the van's hood. The bandit on the hood is revealed to be Nick.

The dads decide to present themselves as criminals to Nick's associates. Henry grows concerned about Glenn potentially becoming enslaved in Nick's thieves' guild. Ellory, Nick's boss, approaches the group with a request to steal the Battle Axe of Hatred from a rival gang, the Redbrands. Doing this would lift the curse that would kill Nick upon leaving. The Dads embark on a mission to infiltrate the Redbrands' hideout, devising a plan involving the Hat of Vermin-summoned animals and drug-filled bouquets, planning to smoke out the Redbrands with the more unpleasant effects of the drugs. This fails somewhat, and results in an alarm being raised, leading to battle against the Redbrand guards. During the battle Glenn charms one of the guards, Harrelson Ron, coercing him to bring them the coveted Battle Axe.

As the dads return to the Watermice camp, Redbrands arrive and challenge the Watermice to a "Battle of the Bands."

As they prepare for the Battle of the Bands, everyone takes a short rest in the greenroom tent.

Glenn reveals he left Glenn Close Trio after they asked him to leave. He feels that this is his last chance. Darryl and Henry assure Glenn he is the leader of this band. Glenn asks them to sabotage the other band, suggesting that he and Nick will perform together.

Henry suggests they sneak into the band and ruin them from the inside. Darryl holds up the Perfume of Charm. Henry, Darryl, Glenn and Ron discuss how to get the other band's robes. Henry, Darryl and Ron decide to seduce the band. Ron splashes most of the Perfume of Charm onto his face. Darryl insists Henry take the rest of it, but agrees to take it himself in the end.

Darryl struts to the band. And starts hitting on him. Henry joins him and they manage to seduce the basist.

**Henry:** *Okay. Let's— let's— Let's go to that dark corner over there.*

**Darryl:** *Hey you got two other friends that want maybe come and party for a little bit before you guys play? We need three cloaks. I mean we need—*

**Bassist:** *Wait what?*

**Ron:** *We need three blokes!*

They manage to lure three members of the band backstage. Darryl freaks out and escapes. Ron tries to capture him with a lasso. Fails, and freaks out the bassist. Ron then tries to sexily capture the bassist, but instead starts choking himself. Henry tells the bassist that this is a part of an elaborate courting ritual. The final step of this courting ritual is swapping clothes with the other person .

The bassist is down. He and his friends take off their robes and Ron, Darryl and Henry put on the robes. Henry tells him that now they will watch them perform.

**Bassist:** *What you've just described is extremely humiliating. And because I am a bassist...*

**Bassist:** *You've discovered my kink. So yes we will— we will. We consent to remain tied up while you perform for us.*

Final member of the Redbrand band notes this is the third time his bandmates have ditched him to be kinky.

Darryl plays the drums, decently. Henry plays the lute, poorly. And Ron sings the Silent Night in dual harmony, impossibly, giving an unbeatable performance.

Glenn and Nick watch the performance incredulous. They feel like they cannot win and think the Redbrands may kill everyone, so they steal Odyssey-san and flee.

Scam Likely calls Henry and keeps him on hold to help Nick and Glenn get away and escape to Waterdeep.

Darryl is upset. Ron is considers a career as a world famous musician, either alone or in a band. Henry tells him seriously that he is a real dad, and as a real dad he has to put his children first. Ron tearfully leads the group to start chanting Terry. They manage to concince the Redbrands not to slaughter the Watermice. Instead they go after Glenn and Nick.

The other dads show up to see an Unfortunate Foster Children fight begin. Darryl interrupts the fight, but Nick manages to pin Paeden. The dads are furious at Glenn for betting on child fights and stealing the van. Glenn and Nick lie, saying they were simply trying to win back enough money to buy the kids out of slavery and that Glenn had only escaped with Nick to protect him. The other dads do not believe this. Ron tells the other dads that he knew he was going to be glorious on the stage.

Eventually they come to a shaky truce, agreeing that dads don’t do other dads dirty. After this the booming voice and purple magic take over Nick, berating Glenn for being unable to raise a child. As the voice departs Nick starts to disappear, apologising for not being a good enough son.

### Tower of Terry Arc

The dads discuss what to do next. Glenn texts Nick and finds out he is in Ravenloft.

The dads decide to head to Roqueporte to save Terry Jr. On their way they go on a side adventure when Hardball Cough Drop asks them to assist her with her BDSM dungeon. The dads successfully satisfy her clients needs with the exception of Glenn. They also encounter a merchant called Shinji, who sells them a Ward Cleaver, a Fanny Pack of Holding and a Cassio Watch.

Ron worries that Terry will leave because of something he did, saying that he doesn't want to make any more mistakes. Cern tells him he probably will, but that is just a part of being a dad. Henry adds,

> **Henry:** *Yeah. You know, we all make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes have big consequences, like what happened with our mistake, with Lizardboy Scales McStuffins.*
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Upon finding out the Dads were responsible for the death of his children Cern is incensed and leaves the group without looking back.

The dads head to Roqueporte and find what was previously a idyllic country town to be overrun with dark unnatural spiky vines. Though it is daytime it is dark and foggy, and people walk hunched over and there are no children to be seen.

The dads and Paeden head to the tavern to find out more about what is going on in the town. They talk to the bartender, Tim "The Spoolman" Tailor, who is initially reluctant to talk but admits that a boy matching Terry's description came through the town about a week ago, together with the man responsible for the corruption of the land.

The dads attempt to raise the spirits in the tavern, with Darryl helping Tim make better beer, Glenn performing an erotic song, and Ron performing stand up comedy mocking the man in the tower.

Tim reveals that a few years back when Roqueport was still an idyllic farming town, a man came and started paying children to build him a tower. Eventually the children stopped coming back. And when they finally did, they came bakc wrong.

The conversation is interrupted by a vampiric little girl demanding to know who has been making fun of her master. The dads fight her, but upon finding that she is very strong decide to flee instead.

The dads get to the Honda Odyssey and the girl is unable to get in without being invited. Henry contemplates turning water into holy water. Darryl says he is making light of Darryl's faith. Ron suggests he could do a stand up of a Catholic priest. Darryl thinks that is a great ida. It doesn't work.

Ron accidentally invites the Little Girl in, and the dads flee. Eventually they find shelter in the house of the gardden witch Erin O'Neil.

In her house they gaze up at the tower and see Terry Jr. standing side by side with none other than Terry Sr.

The dads wave Terry Sr. over. He flies over from his tower. He tells the dads that he is Terry Jr.'s biological father and that they are very happy. The dads demand to see Terry Jr., and he agrees to go get him from the Tower.

While he is gone the dads huddle. Ron notes that he is pretty sure Terry Sr. is supposed to be dead. From this ensues panic, as the dads realise they may be dead. Ron calls his wife Samantha to ask her about Terry Sr. She confirms that Terry Sr. is dead and that she loves Ron very much.

The dads discuss possibilities for how to learn more about vampires, with options like borrowing another book from The Library, checking out Wikipedia. Darryl suggests asking Erin O'Neil, who mentions she isn't really a monster kind of witch or a fighting kind of witch, she just wants to retake Roqueporte for the trees. In the end Ron calls Beth May for advice on vampires. She lists the possible weaknesses of sunlight, stake to the heart, holy water and decapitation. Darryl asks the Vampire Girl to pass him his rosary, which seemingly does nothing.

Terry Sr. brings Terry Jr. over. Terry Jr. is very annoyed that Ron came and wishes he would just leave. Ron holds a heartfelt speech about what Terry Jr. means to him.
> **Ron:** *What I want to say to you, Terry... Jr., not Terry Sr., is that when I... see you, I know that you don't need me to be your stepfather, but it's something that I would like to do, because... I love you, and because you're so good without me that I'm very proud of you.*
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Terry listens to this, and seems to relent and joins the dads and Erin O'Neil inside the cabin. Then he invites Terry Sr. into the building.
> **Terry Jr.:** *And I appreciate that, a lot. But I'm happy now... and you're going to take that away from me... and I won't let you do that. So I mean this, when I say this, from the bottom of my heart: Terry Sr., I invite you into this building.*
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The dads engage Terry Sr. in a fight. The dads are all varying degrees of angry, except Glenn who is freaking out about a vampire that is obviously stronger than them. Darryl heals by guessing the nature of Birkenstocks.
> **Darryl:** *You son of a bitch. That beautiful man and his wonderful Birkenstocks which are a really nice designer hipster sandals with wonderful straps that are usually made of leather, you're not going to let him die!*
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Against all odds, they manage to force Terry Sr.'s head into the Fanny Pack of Holding. They destroy the Fanny Pack, sending Terry Sr. head to the Astral Plane, to suffer beyond the laws of physics.
Terry Jr. is crushed by this.

> **Terry Jr.:** *Dad no, not again! I can't go through this again!*
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> **Ron:** *Who's your daddy now?*
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After the dads defeat Terry Sr., Terry Jr. smashes an orb the ground and turns into mist and flees to the tower.

Henry calls Mercedes Oak-Garcia and tells him he is stuck in another world. He then asks her to get together their Wiccan friends and witches to see if they can make a portal.

Ron is angry that Terry Jr. is angry at him and doesn't want him as a father. Erin O'Neil sees her chance to take over the town has finally come, and starts rousing her trees. Darryl thinks she is ridiculous, because trees cannot really be "her children". He strikes a tree with his axe, leading to Erin and the trees starting to attack. The dads flee to the van. Glenn steals one of the books Erin had borrowed from The Library. They grab the Vampire Girl and flee to the tower.

They wake up the girl, who is no longer a vampire spawn. She introduces herself as Clementine Crimadinick, and tells the dads that there are more children at the basement of the tower. The dads find the children and free them. They also find three chests, two of which contain mimics. Ron throws frogs at the chests to discover which chest is a real chest, and the dads find The Belt.

The dads then make their way upwards towards Terry Jr. and discover he is attempting to create a portal to the Astral Plane.

The dads decide to make their way up the Tower. They leave Paeden to take care of the other children. They find a pit smelling of raw meat next to a button. Ron presses the button, resulting in seven clay Rons emerging. They start to fight the dads, but Ron manages to intimidate them back into the vat with the booming voice of Willy Stampler. They then proceed into a room with a large gothic chair and a smaller gaming chair. Darryl sits in the gaming chair, and a needle comes out of it and sucks out the most precious memory he has with his father. It squirts out of the gothic chair as there is no one for the memory to be injected to. Henry finds a button and presses it, which produces magically formed food and a small shelf of 10 books. The row of books is notably missing a book on the astral plane. It also has a book on how to feed on a son's love for his father for sustenance.

The dads proceed, avoid a few traps, Darryl cleans up Terry Sr.'s porn room and Ron calls Beth May for advice on a French speaking door, and with her help and asking Siri they get through and come to a bedroom. The bedroom houses a normal bed and a coffin. Underneath the coffin they find the body of the real Terry Sr.

They finally come to Terry Jr., who is attempting to open a portal to the Astral Plane. Terry demands Ron to leave, but Ron tells him he loves Terry too much to do so. The dads manage to convince Terry that Terry Sr. was a vampire and responsible for kidnapping children and the dark magic of the town, and that the man they killed wasn't the real Terry Sr. Terry Jr. responds that he always knew this.

Ron tells Terry about how his love was never proud of him. That sometimes family isn't just your father, but it is who loves you, and Ron does love Terry.

Terry starts sobbing. Ron hugs him. Terry apologizes as the man in purple takes him.

Erin O'Neil appears at the Tower after Terry Jr. has been taken. The dads and Erin almost get into a fight, but eventually manage to resolve things peacefully and Erin agrees not to take over the town.

The dads then debate what to do about Paeden as adventuring is dangerous. Darryl maintains that they should find him a home, while Glenn wants to take him with them. Eventually they decide to find him a home and do, with Walter the Immoral.

They fall asleep and discover that instead of one figure in a purple cloak there are three.

## Relationships

### Henry Oak

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> **Matt:** *Something tingles deep down inside of me, and I feel love for the first time in a long time, when he puts his mouth on mine.*
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## Dad Facts

* Ep1: Would be the head coach of the Westrock Elementary Doodlers if not for “some jerk named Darnell.”
* Ep2: Believes he misses his wife more than she misses him.
* Ep3: His favorite TV show used to be Bones, but became The Finder because he thought it was a little more macho.
* Ep4: The only woman he’s kissed besides his best friend Carol was her older sister Stacy.
* Ep5: Caught his father as Santa Claus when he was 8. Continued to believe his father was Santa for three more years.
* Ep6: Does not know what a Birkenstock is.
* Ep7: His older sister Casey owns a massively successful brewery in North Carolina.
* Ep8: His favorite holiday is Tax Day. He does his taxes month in advance, but on Tax Day he gets to fuck his wife.
* Ep9: Sneaks out to watch English soccer with the Chelsea boys every day.
* Ep10: Was in the background of one of the photos on the DILFS of Disneyland account.
* Ep11: Had The Talk with Grant when he caught him watching the Top Gun sex scene. (Additionally, has the Tavern Brawler feat)
* Ep12: His favorite hobby is sports. His second-favorite hobby is organization.
* Ep13: After the DILF incident, he joined crossfit on Wednesday nights. Due to a bad first experience, he now does square dancing classes, while still paying for crossfit.
* Ep14: His favorite color is leather brown.
* Ep15: Darryl’s favorite book is the Guinness Book of World Records, tied with Hop on Pop by Dr. Seuss.
* Ep16: His favorite part of being a father is when babies wake up confused until they see you and smile. This is also Matt’s favorite part of being a father.
* Ep17: Darryl once made a Reddit post on Grant’s account asking how to play Fortnite. He never learned how to play, and now gets cyberbullied via email by 12 year olds.
* Ep18: He still uses his dad’s PK grill.
* Ep19: His favorite board game is Scrabble.
* Ep20: Darryl once scared Grant by waking him up as bloody Santa on Halloween, leading him to have to explain that Santa wasn’t real.
* Ep21: Darryl puts inspection checklists on the mirrors in every bathroom, and writes “Cleaned by Dad” across all of them.
* Ep22: 50% of the furniture in the house is built by Darryl (note: this only counts if you count things like the spice rack and cutting boards and such)
* Ep23: When Darryl is cooking the thanksgiving turkey, he gives it a name and proceeds to say it's helping him in the kitchen, until he makes Grant bring the turkey out and goes “no what have you done!” as a joke. Nobody laughs.
* Ep24: Darryl makes everyone in his family do new year's resolutions every year. He also always picks the same resolution every year: literally surprise them in one way every morning. He tries, and they hate it.
* Ep25: Darryl and Grant love rollercoasters. The first time Grant went on one with Darryl, he had a weak stomach and threw up and Darryl pretended to throw up too. This is now a regular thing for Darryl to pretend he is also sick.
* Ep26: Carol loves sci-fi and made Darryl watch primer with her. When asked what his favorite part was he quickly ran to the bathroom to look up the synopsis he fell asleep and Grant found him naked on the toilet.
* Ep27: Sunday 9pm is his and Carol’s sex time and on the calendar it’s called “financing.”
* Ep28: Darryl has broken his arm twice on his left and once on his right. Each was on a jungle gym across from the football field at ages 9, 20, and 36.
* Ep29: Darryl’s favorite soda is his Sodastream version of Coca Cola, which is actually just Coca-cola he pours into the Sodastream bottle.
* Ep30: Darryl’s favorite breakfast is Frank’n’Eggs, which was his dad’s favorite. It is just a hotdog cut into eggs.
* Ep31: Darryl’s favorite ice cream is Rock Road.
* Ep32:Darryl was a straight “C” student his whole life.
* Ep33: Darryl does a lot of grooming/manscaping down there.
* Ep34:Grant’s nickname is Shooter, because the first time Darryl changed Grant’s diaper without Carol, Grant shot shit across the entire room.
* Ep35:One problem Darryl has with soccer is there are no good soccer movies.
* Ep36: Darryl’s favorite Sesame Street character is Cookie Monster. (Grant’s is Grover)
* Ep37: Darryl LOVES fireworks, specifically bootleg fireworks. He does his own fireworks show on the fourth of july.
* Ep38: Darryl takes pleasure in making sure his shoes last as long as possible. And in fucking his wife.
* Ep39: Darryl doesn’t know much about BDSM, but he knows a lot about BRAT, which is the rule when you have an upset tummy you eat bananas, rice, apples, and toast. His favorite BRAT food is toast.
* Ep40: The last beer Darryl made before he went to the forgotten realms was a barley wine called Access, with a picture of Grant. So it's Access Granted, and he’s gonna age it for 10 years so Grant can have it when he’s 21.
* Ep41: Darryl’s first time going to Disneyland was right after he and Carol graduated college. They got the whole package and stayed at Paradise Pier, and his favorite ride was Pirates of the caribbean. It was also the first him and Carol fucked.
* Ep42: Darryl is allergic to latex.
* Ep43: Darry;’s favorite sound is the sound a bag of chips makes when you open it.
* Ep44: Darryls favorite smell was the smell of Grant's hair when he was a toddler. His least favorite smell is wet peanut butter.
* Ep45: Darryl’s favorite touch is the feeling of pulling up the perfect pair of jeans. His least favorite touch is the feeling of a knife through a well done steak.
* Ep46: Darryl’s favorite taste is the taste of his sister's beer. His least favorite taste is defeat.
* Ep47: Darryl’s favorite sight is seeing Carol smile when she eats something good that Darryl makes. His least favorite sight is Glenn moisturizing his hands.
* Ep48: Darryls favorite vestibular sense is the feeling that The Beast gives him when it accelerates. His least favorite is getting dizzy. The teacups are his least favorite at disneyland. His favorite proprioceptive sense is knowing where the cup holders are in the odyssey. His least favorite is he cant type without looking. Darryl calls, not texts.
* Ep49: Darryl and Carol’s favorite game is who can hotbox/dutch oven each other the most.
* Ep50: Darryl got pulled over once for switching lanes without putting on his blinker. He also didn’t have his seatbelt on cause he forgot it trying to help Grant with his homework, and when the officer came up to the car he noticed and called Darryl on it. Darryl lied to him and then felt bad and drove to the police station and asked for a ticket or some kind of punishment.
* Ep51: Darryl has his own version of bathing/showering, which he calls a “Tropical Waterfall”. This means he fills up the bathtub a little, sits in it and turns on the shower, and then when you let the drain go the water equalizes.
* Ep52: Matt fact: Dorothy (his daughter) turned off her light in her crib and said “i love you Dada” and went to bed for the first time in her crib and it made his day.
* Ep53: Darryl brought the Chelsea boys Chelsea buns once, but it took a couple batches for him to get the recipe right. When he finally came back from the bar all the practice batches were gone; Carol had taken them to work for her turn to bring breakfast in. So now Darryl makes Chelsea buns for Carol every second Monday of the month because they were a big hit. Matt also retcons and says in the last episode his fact was when Grant wakes up he grabs a book from his shelf and starts reading it.
* Ep54: Darryl organizes his chores into three categories: Bores, Snores, and Scores. Snores he can do while sleeping, like the ones he saves for the end of the day when he’s tired. The bores are the ones he does not want to do. The scores are the little rewards to himself, mowing the lawn etc.
* Ep55: Dae-rule is a big fan of Goat-ball but his son, Grant, likes Stubborn-root instead.
* Ep56: (via Beth) One time, Darryl farted in a church. And then he laughed and talked about it.
* Ep57: (via freddie) Darryl loves the films of Roland Emmerich. His favorite is 2012 because it's about a guy driving a limousine saving his family. And he secretly thinks that the Statue of Liberty play should be renamed The Independence Day play because it's humanity's one last shot to take down the UFO.
* Ep58: Darryl is very bad at math because his catholic high school math teacher wouldn’t teach class. He would just play Stargate which is how Darryl became a Roland Emmerich fan. Now, if Grant ever wants to miss school and he and Darryl go see a movie instead, they call it “math class” in front of Carol.
* Ep59: Darryl and Grant are six time consecutive winners of the San Dimas Pinewood Derby. Despite Grant not being there the past three years.
* Ep60: After Frank died Darryl couldn’t pick up the phone from his mother for about 10 years because his mom’s the one that called him to tell him his dad died.
* Ep61: Seven Deadly Sins- Gluttony: The most calories Darryl has ever eaten was Grant’s first day of middle school. He ate an entire box of charleston chews because Grant didn’t say “I love you “ back cause he was embarrassed.
* Ep62: Seven Deadly Sins- Wrath: After Darryl had a particularly frustrating morning, Grant missed the bus and heard Darryl ranting and called Grant a turd bucket.
* Ep63: Seven Deadly Sins-Greed: He eats all the best chips in nachos.
* Ep64: Seven Deadly Sins-Sloth: Darryl has never responded to an email. Sloth only affects him with technological things.
* Ep65: Seven Deadly Sins- Lust: No, Darryl did not cheat on Carol with Sweet Matilda…but he did think about it.
* Ep66: Seven Deadly Sins - Envy: He’s pretty envious of everything Darnell. Specifically, when they were grocery shopping at the same time and while putting the bags in their respective cars, Darryl got INCREDIBLY jealous of how well bagged Darnell’s groceries - which he bagged himself - were.
* Ep67: Darryls favorite thing about Glenn is when he put his son’s happiness before his own and went to prison. He also really respected Glenn, despite not liking or admiring him as a person.
* Ep68: Seven Deadly Sins - Pride: Darryl’s biggest moment of pride was back in episode one, in which he thought he was a much better father than the rest of the dads.

## Trivia

* Darryl has an addiction to Charleston Chews.
* Darryl is at least somewhat conservative.
* Darryl is Christian and likely Catholic.
* Darryl gave Grant his smartphone and uses a Nokia 3310.