Pirate Adventure/Transcript

This is a transcript of the episode Pirate Adventure. It contains all dialouge,

* Robert and Terrence are at a beach and drinking coconut milk and pineapple juice, respectively. Terrence runs out, to his anger. And throws a coconut into the ocean. A hovering object appears.]
* Terrence: AH! THE COCONUT GETS REVENGE!
* Robert: No, it is a- [Robert and Terrence get soaked by the water, with Robert having a crustacean on his head and two starfish on his face and Terrence getting grabbed by a belemnite. Terrence squeezes the belemnite off his face, spraying it with ink. Terrence squeezes the starfish off of Robert's face.] Thank you, Terrence! [The pirate ship drops an anchor on Vanessa's house, wrecking it. The pirate ship opens it's entrance. A big boned pirate walks out.]
* Sheldon Volectro: Greetings! Sup, bitches.
* Tyler: (Whispering) That looks like a dildo.
* Volectro: We are peaceful hitchhikers, and we come in peace. [Hands cornucopia to Robert.]
* Vanessa: Wait, are you here to destroy all our houses, or just MINE?
* Volectro: Oh, does somebody want a cornucopia?
* [Cuts to night. A celebration is occurring at the town square. Clip is watching unamused with Lugger and Ere. Volectro opens the curtains on the stage]
* Volectro: Your town mayor has agreed to let me show of our innovative tech. [Volectro shakes hands with mayor, mistaking the mayor getting wood for a hand] Now, how many of you have ever wanted something to get somewhere, but not go on a ferry just to get it there? Well Behold! Tramps! [Two hitchhikers are jumping on a trampoline] Also, behold, two more mountain climbers, Gus and Parchment!
* Clip: Wathat, I thought you only brought you and Madison.
* Volectro: Shut up and eat your fruits, kid!
* Clip: YOU CALL ME KID? I WAS IN POMPEII!
* Lugger: I am amused by this buccaneer [chews a clementine slice and makes a smiley with it]
* Ere: He is da bomb. [gives Lugger two blueberries]
* Lugger: But you said I am the bomb! [makes a crass shape with the fruits]
* Ere: Okay, you definitely are! [laughs at the fruit wiener]
* Volectro: But tramps are not our only stuv, we also have catapults! [Reveals a catalult] Catapults get stuff there quicker than tramps! Let us demonstrate! [catapults fruits to the audience]
* Clip: You do realize you already have that on your plate, right?
* Volectro: And now, we will have a volunteer try it out! You! [Points to Clip]
* Clip: Who me?
* Volectro: I do not know if that is a fart joke or not, but yes you!
* Audience: CLIP! CLIP! CLIP! CLIP! [Clip nervously walks over]
* Volectro: Now, we will launch you! [They catapult Clip into the beach]
* Clip: I wish I could hit Volectro with a thunderbolt and catapult him to purgatory.
* Ere: I see that pirate ship, too.
* Lugger: I see the giant mast, the two, oddly placed gears. I think he is compensating for something?
* Clip: More like his cerebrum, god, I wanna eat his cerebrum. [They enter the ship]
* Ere: I will scale the walls, Clip, you investigate, and if neccesary, Lugger will explode it with all that stowwed away acetone peroxide, and possibly that is committing suicide.
* Lugger: But it is possibly not, right?
* Ere: Yeah, yeah, let us go with that theory. [Clip investigates the ship and finds a bunch of rooms]
* Clip: Hey guys, I found this novel called Fifty Shades of Grey. How about we read it?
* Ere: We should not, that is supposed to be really cringeworthy.
* Clip: O rly? [Clip looks through and cringes out of disgust]
* Lugger: I found a nice little room full of tramps!
* Clip: Man, I think we should start calling ores "tramps". [Lugger starts bouncing on them]
* Ere: Try not to fart from all that constant jumping, you will explode if you do!
* Clip: Oh my flatulent gore. I found a room. Should we enter? [They enter, and find a million pirates] No. Flatulent. Way.
* Robert: I see what you did there, Clip. I was one of the pirates, along with my brothers. We were in command, but one day, we found a bacculite enchanted with speech, who told us to go to your little island. I told the bacculite that was too far, and he teleported me and my brothers there. But he forgot to teleport the other Buccaneers, so they had to come here on there own. And that brought their crew of a million, too!
* [Cuts to Clip and Lugger at Ere's house]
* Clip: Hey Ere, I want us to talk. [Ere's Mother opens the door] Not you, Ere's mama! Your son!
* Ere: What do you want to talk about, Clip?
* Clip: We need to stop Volectro. Therefore, we will need the God of Might, a giant autothiest!
* Ere: Is he a stripper who participates in stripteases?
* Clip: No.
* Lugger: Can he crush coconuts with his bare fists and drink the coconut milk and smoke a blunt?
* Clip: No.
* Ere: If we are going to find the God of Might, we need to go to the Lake of Wisdom.
* Narrator: 944 hours later.
* [Cut to Clip, Lugger, and Ere at a lake]
* Ere: It is the God of Might's Lake of Wisdom! [Drinks from the lake]
* Clip: STOP DRINKING IT! [Ere spits it into Lugger's mouth] DO NOT BARF IT INTO HIS MOUTH! [Lugger retches it back into Ere's mouth] DO NOT VOMIT IT BACK! DO NOT SWALLOW-[Ere swallows it] Too late. [The God of Might walks over to the lake; the camera pans to the trio looking at the God of Might disgusted as squeaking sounds play] Not so much the Lake of Wisdom; more the Lake of GEEZ!
* God of Might: I am the God of Might! Well, not that there are any gods.
* Clip: Wait, WHAT!?!?
* God of Might: So okay, I am an athiest, obese, and a pervert.
* Clip: I LOOKED UP TO YOU!!!
* God of Might: Wanna perverse with me? [uses telescope to look at a gunslinger striptease]
* Clip: Wait. [Clip uses the telescope and finds Robert placing Acetone Peroxide bombs over the island] Robert is placing Acetone Peroxide over the isle! He must have figured out my secret!
* [Cut to the villagers at a rave. The trio runs in.]
* Clip: I knew it! Robert learned the secret that we kill people at night and was going to distract us with something like this! Ere, you warn the others, Lugger, you and me will stop the buccaneers.
* Ere: GUYS! ROBERT HAS PLACED BOMBS IN YOUR VILLAGE! [Notices appetizers on the floor] Oh my god! Canapes! My only weakness! [Eats antipastos off the floor]
* Clip: Alright Lugger, let's extinguish the- [All of the villages explode] crappie. Wait, they are stealing our eggs! Lugger, we are going to stop this egg heist! [They run to the pirate ship where they are storing the eggs in a net. Alright, Lugger, we are going to blow you up with flint and steel, understand?
* Lugger: Yes, I under- [the pirate ship sails away in ultrasonic speed, they get soaked by the water, with Clip having cancer on his head and two starfish on his face and Lugger getting grabbed by a squid. Lugger squeezes the squid off his face, spraying it with ink. Lugger squeezes the starfish off of Clip's face.] Dam it! [The entire isle explodes]
* [Cut to Flakerot. The creatures are on a ferry and attempt to attack, only to have their ferryboat get blown up by more acetone peroxide.]
* Robert: I told them the truth, Clip. That you eat cerebrums. And that you and your friends eat the babies of our folk. So we have decided to give you a taste of your own medicine!
* Clip: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! How did you KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!?!?