The Mighty Masturbator

***"The Mighty Masturbator"*** is the sixth song from the Devin Townsend Project album *Deconstruction*, released in 2011. It is the second-longest song Townsend has ever released.

The first section lyrically references "Numbered!" from *Addicted* ("I'm alright to fly"). The "give it up, your world!" section is based on an electronic song called "Traestorz" that was later released in full on *Contain Us*, and also lyrically references the song "Dinosaurs" ("We praise Satan! He lives inside of our hearts!") featured in the same release. The ending section is a re-recording of the "Infinite Waltz" section of "Processional," an outtake from *Infinity* released on *Christeen (Plus Four Demos)* in 1998.

### Song Credits

* Words and music: Devin Townsend
* Drums: Dirk Verbeuren
* Guest vocals: Greg Puciato (Dillinger Escape Plan)

## Appearances

* *Deconstruction* (original studio recording)
* *Contain Us* (remastered original studio recording, partial demo)
* *By a Thread* (live recording)

## Versions

### The Mighty Masturbator

The original album version. The exact recording, remastered, is republished as part of *Contain Us*. An epic-length centerpiece of the album, it consists of five sections. The final section, nicknamed "The Punisher" when recording, is a revamped version of the "Infinite Waltz" section of "Processional" with Ziltoid ranting atop.

### The Mighty Masturbator (Live)

Available on the *By a Thread* box set, it features in the *Deconstruction* night.

## Lyrics

```
    Ohh…all you know, go slow.
    Twenty-five years at the factory child,
    All for dying... Wife and children now...
    But you know? I've been working on a plan to save us all!
    You know me… and I'm just staying late tonight my dear.
    …Sleep well.
    I'm home!

    So you've come!
    You know, you know…
    I'm alright to fly!
    …Only we both know, we never once were right!
    Oh my lord…
    Say goodnight to the boy, and then we EXPLODE with never one regret!

    Oh my god, it's happening once again!
    …Wasting my life with the worn designs.
    ...But it's time to go!
    We're wasting away as people now.
    …And the world's seen it all before.
    Sew the wire!

    NOW, comes the time...
    Where the night speaks to me, the words speak through me, NOW!
    …comes the time! Hear the sounds, the sounds!
    (Sounds are forming round me… sounds are forming round!)
    Do you know? How many more days and nights of this I must handle??
    Keep control…control!
    …No one can see, they MUSTN'T see!
    ...But they will come to recognize my name!
    'Cause I've finally… I've finally found a way to SAVE THE WORLD!

    [Save the World:]

    (oh I reeeal good at dat savin' da world thing dere…
    oh yeah, I got my special savin' the world boots on…)

    Save the world, you fool, you child!
    You can't ever save the world, you fool…you child!
    You can't ever, ever celebrate!
    You better change your mind!

    Save the world, you fool…you child!
    You can't ever…ever save the world, you fool…you child...
    You can't ever, ever set aflame! You better change!

    (Save the spectacular world of tomorrow!!!)

    Save the world, you fool…you child!
    You can't ever…ever save the world, you fool, you child...
    You can't ever, ever celebrate! You better change!

    Feelings…they're exaggerated!
    But on another level I'm just… GROOVY!

    Oh yeah…smoooooooth…Lookin' fine!
    You better save your mind!

    [Traestorz:]

    Maybe we could go to space?
    Maybe we'll have more luck connecting…
    Maybe the electromagnetic impulses will be on our side?

    YES! Love has conducted us unto one death!
    And my conductor, with his spans extended, took of the earth…
    And with his fists well filled, he threw it into those rapacious gullets!!!
    THE TIME OF RECKONING IS BEYOND US!!! THE TIME IS NOW!
    We come to you: TO EXTEND OURSELVES FOR CONSIDERATION INTO THE INTERGALACTIC COMMUNITY!
    We bring to you: THE PROCESS OF HUMAN DEVELOPMENT!!!

    BROTHERS AND SISTERS ARE YOU WITH ME?!?! NOW!!

    Give it up…your world!

    I'VE SEEN ALL I HAVE SEEN
    WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE!

    We praise God!
    He lives inside of our hearts!
    We pray to God, he lives inside of our minds!!!
    We praise God!!
    He Lives inside of our hearts!!
    WE PRAY TO GOD!!!

    So you come around, and we know what you came for…
    And we are one of mind, and we are home.

    We praise ourselves!
    We live inside of our minds!
    We praise ourselves!
    WE LIVE INSIDE OF OUR MINDS!!!

    I'VE SEEN ALL I HAVE SEEN
    WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE!

    Now we come alive! And you've been over-time.
    If we are one of mind, then we ARE God!!

    WE PRAISE SATAN!
    HE LIVES INSIDE OF OUR HEARTS!

    We praise ourselves!
    All the minds! Of all the times!

    (What do you want with me?)
    I want you to follow me, into the stars!
    I want you to love me!

    (I've fallen down now, and I won't get up)

    So many things to learn…MY FAMILY!

    I'M TURNING BACK! I DON'T WANT TO! I'M TURNING AWAY FROM THE WORLD!
    I'M TURNING BACK! I DON'T WANT TO! I'M TURNING AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!
    YEAH!

    ...These are only equations, this is only a problem!

    Stay forward! Stay the morning coma…

    WHAT DO YOU KNOW??

    I know why among the heavens, I don't know why among the living..
    I haven't a mind for those who give in...
    …I don't know why? (Feelings I'm holding inside?) WHY??
    CHILDHOOD PAIN!

    I want you to follow me, into the stars…
    Why don't we just leave?
    ...TO INFINITY, AND SURROUND!!

    And now…hunger does what sorrow could never do… FEED.

    [The Punisher:]

    LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
    (carnival ensues…)
    Egads! Astounding! MY WORLDS!!
    Ladies and gentlemen, I now see my life's purpose:
    I AM THE MIGHTY MASTURBATOR!!!
    AMEN.

```