recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Departures

*To escape the guardian of Brian Doyle Falls, some of the gang must make the ultimate sacrifice. Specifically Debonesby and Stirfry, who both die in this episode of hit podcast Rude Tales of Magic.*

## Summary

The party, Bellow’s family, and Andrea Nomenclature confront the animated drawing of a flamingo dragon guarding their exit from Danny Timeshare’s collapsing Brian Doyle Falls. It pecks at them and breathes tiki torch fire as Albee cuts its head off, only to start growing more heads in its place. Its thrashing stirs up a boiling whirlpool of hot tub water as Albee recognizes that the monster is a living drawing. Bellow starts to purify the water with his magic while the others spit on the monster, melting away its ink and paper. The flamingo wounds the family and friends before Stirfry inspires them with food to blast the monster to pieces with gushing jets of drool.

As it perishes, the flamingo announces that this is not its final form. It becomes a large tropical drink of crimson liquid with talking ice cubes and a beating heart inside. It counters their every attack until Cordelia uses Albee’s monk powers to hit it with a gust of air. The drink monster reacts painfully to the higher attack so Albee leaps onto its rim. Its acidic contents melt her butcher’s sword before she tears out its heart.

The drink shatters but once again transforms. It becomes a dolphin keychain that blasts the party, wounding many of Bellow’s relatives before he casts a wave of healing energy to stabilize them. This also shatters the keychain, which becomes a clamshell containing a naked and weary Danny Timeshare. He offers to let Bellow escape alone and heals his transformed legs, but warns that the others would only tell everyone of his mistakes. Seeing that Danny cannot let them live, Bellow forsakes the vacation god and strikes him down with Hellish Rebuke.

The badly damaged party watches as a now faithless Danny reverts into his earlier forms. He becomes a god of travel, then of scalpers, then of puddles. Frederick and Cordelia recognize in the puddle’s reflection a prehistoric sky with an outline of a strange entity; what resembles Cordelia's void spell and the shadowy hitchhiker creature in Frederick’s mind. Danny regresses to the prehistoric common ancestor of all gods, a small rat-like creature that hisses and flees. Stirfry uses his power over rats and wills Danny to return to them, only to stab him through the skull with his beak.

The party gathers their wounded as Junior picks the lock on the exit. They race out and escape with barely enough time for Cordelia to throw Cheddar’s coins after any bodies left behind.

## Quotes

* "Albee is confused but drooling." -Carly Monardo
* "He hatches like one of the eggs David Cronenberg eats to start his day." Branson Reese

## Links:

Episode: https://podbay.fm/p/rude-tales-of-magic/e/1663735114

## Trivia

* The episode's descriptions involves another reference to Stirfry's death.
Beavis Palisades

A gnome and the resident inventor and researcher on The Lusty Conversation. While most of the crew has picked their sides in the mutiny, Beavis remains undecided. His reasoning is because he has invented a functional modern-day gun, convincing him that his side will easily win the mutiny. He shows the party how it works by offering to shoot a least-liked teammate. When he attempts to shoot Stirfry, he critically fails and kills himself with the recoil. Frederick de Bonesby takes the gun off of him and goes mad with the power it holds within moments.
Brian Doyle

The namesake of Brian Doyle Falls. He is only mentioned during the party's escape in Weather's Here, Wish You Were Beautiful when they cross the Brian Memorial Bridge. A statue remains in his honor, but in the vacationized version of the town, he is shown looking displeased to be depicted as wearing a thong.
Goatse

*"What do you guys wanna know about Goatse?"*

A dead goblin whose body was scavenged by Brian Fuck. He was an impish mischief maker while alive, and his hand was given to de Bonesby's skeleton to help extend his lifespan. He was brothers with Prolapse, the goblin whose jaw replaced de Bonesby's jaw bone in the same process.

The two goblins were able to interject a few words or thoughts here and there, but in the body swapping performed by Pebis, they end up taking over Frederick's body. Goatse seems to be the less dominant personality of the two.

## Trivia

* Goatse and Prolapse had five dads and seven moms, but Prolapse clarifies that goblins are very big on found families.
* His name is based off the early internet shock meme of a married man spreading his own asshole in a way previously thought impossible.
* Goatse is a fan of Thunderlingus. He hangs their poster in the halls of Frederick's mind palace.
Buckley Lindsingham

Twin brother to Addison and heir of Lindsingham Manor. The elves hire the party to solve the murder of their brother Vance. The two imply and later very heavily confirm that they are incestuous, which Buckley declares legal after he becomes master of the manor.

Before the real killer is found, Buckley was suspected of murdering Vance because he would become head of the household after his demise.
Bon Peniseñaro

A handsome troll that stands guard over Scrum’s Pad. He is magically bound to protect it from anyone, including Scrum Fabulous himself, who doesn't know the magic words. The illusion veils the manor as a simple cave and Bon Peniseñaro as an ugly troll. He is very grim and businesslike, despite his festive boss.

By the end of the episode, a vengeful warrior brings the trolls decapitated head into Scrum's Place to call Scrum out.

In Enter the Mother, Part 2, Bon’s severed head is used to mark the entrance to Scrum South. While still dead, his head sings in a call and response password to grant entry.

## Trivia

* We hear Scrum recite the magic words that allow him to pass Bon Peniseñaro. They are *"Candyman tempting the thoughts of a sweet tooth tortured by weight loss. Program cutting the corners. Loose end, loose end cut cut. On the fence, not to offend. Cut cut cut cut. Take these chances!"* The spell is actually lyrics from Dave Matthews Band's song Ants Marching. The password to Scrum South is lyrics to All Mixed Up by 311.
El Chupacabra

A tarantula man with a large mustache who appears in Who's Your Daddy? He enters a duel with Tommy Whistle during his introduction and fires at him before they can take their standard ten paces. Tommy shoots out seven of his eight eyes in return, but decides to spare his life. The cutthroat warns that this is a grave mistake to make with El Chupacbra, but respects his decision all the same.

El Chupacabra is blatantly "dubbed over," suggesting he speaks another language besides Common. This is presented as him speaking very quickly and stiffly ala Speed Racer cartoons. His mouth is mercifully covered by his mustache to spare the "animators" any issues with lip-sync.
Cordelia Ranchero

An acorn farmer who spontaneously decided that she should rule over everything many centuries ago. She gathered a drunken team of enforcers she called her Peacekeepers to ensure that various farmers and workers that she shouted at paid her tribute and obeyed her commands. This rapidly spread until The Cordelian Empire was formed, maintained by her bloodline for several generations.

Her son Cordelio Ranchero the Thick took over the empire after her death at 52 due to melting.

## Trivia

* In Encyclopedia Cordelia, Cordelia is voiced by Carly Monardo in a reenactment.
* The world and empire of Cordelia was still named such long after her demise just because everyone was used to calling it that by then. Even when the Ranchero bloodline was wiped out, the empire continued through other families that filled the power vacuum.
Crobspierre

* a picture of the character here\*

“*Vive le Crob!!*”

**1-3**sentencecharacter description goes here.

## Personality

perhaps a photo here

A description of their personality goes here.

## Appearance

A description of their appearance goes here. Character model, accessories, etc.

## Relationships

* Description of a relationship/friendship/alliance the character has with another character

## Storylines

* Brief description of how the character fits into a particular story arc
* Brief description of how the character fits into a particular story arc
* Brief description of how the character fits into a particular story arc

## Quotes

“Vive le Crob!!**”** ― Name, context of quote.
Crossroads

*Content Warning: gore, bodies, pebis*

*We wild for this one!*

## Summary

The party travels with their stolen wagon with Flipcup. Cordelia helps de Bonesby study Thomas Mitchell's magical cart, which uses a magical engine to create an illusion so powerful that the cart not only appears to be smaller than it really is, but does it so well that it actually shrinks its appearance and shape. They reach a roadblock where a pair of Witch Hunters are waiting to interrogate passerby about the recently activated sending stones from Froggy Creek. They attempt to bluff their way past them but are found out. The Hunters report them to their comrades as Cordelia removes and throws the illusory engine at them, hitting one of their horses' horseshoes and expanding it to send them all flying.

The party flees to a nearby woods in the chaos, but Flipcup alerts them that more are coming. They hide deep in the woods where they find a giant egg with antlers growing out of it. It hatches into a giant fetal bird that identifies itself as Pebis, a demon sent from Hell to deal with them. He implies he was ordered to by Lexicon Matters, but stubbornly insists that he does it of his own free will. The party begs him to help with the pursuing Witch Hunters, and in protest Pebis warps their bodies for his own amusement. He finally shuffles their brains between their bodies, and Branson asks the players to hand their character sheets to the player on their right. They players try to sort themselves out when the Witch Hunters catch up to them, forcing them to flee again. Stirfry in Frederick's body blasts their immediate pursuers with a Lightning Bolt, granting them the time to recover and escape. They move away from the river to try and elude them, arriving at a small town. They see the sending stones toppled over by children as they meet a familiar face: Jacques Avoidoir from the The Ruleshaven Liberation Army welcomes them to his town.

## Trivia

* When the players swap bodies, the players control their own character using the body, stats and voice of the other character. Albee enters Bellow's body, Bellow enters Stirfry's body, Stirfry enters de Bonesby's, de Bonesby enters Cordelia's, and Cordelia enters Albee's.

## Links

Episode: https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/crossroads-\_xS6Qhty
Dragon

*"All dragons are single! No dragons are tiny!"*

Large, rare, intelligent reptiles that inhabit Cordelia. They are capable of shapeshifting and come in a variety of colors. In extremely rare cases, they can even be translucent, leaving their internal organs visible. While their coloration are often signs of their typing, this has no particular affect on their personality or moral code.

As such powerful creatures, they tend to be much more involved in society than their generic fantasy counterparts. With their long lives and general wisdom, they once frequently attempted to guide the history of the smaller races. Sundown Samara was considered a huge influence during the time of The Cordelian Empire, comparable to Emperor Nog himself.

## Trivia

* Dragons as a whole have little interest in monogamy.
* Dragons were briefly (and unpopularly) known as "sky children."
* Many dragons breathe fire, but some breeds are known to launch other chemicals or elements instead.
* Dragons can mate with other species, leading to the birth of a dragonborn.
Gengar Suck

One of The Suck Brothers who is described as a ghost in a cowboy hat. He and his brothers attempt to undercut and foil the party in Weird Times In Piss Harbor. As the only ghost on the team, he cannot physically interact with physical objects or people.

## Trivia

* Gengar Suck is named after the ghost pokemon Gengar. This stands out when compared to his brothers, who share names with classical horror film actors.
Ding Dong

A song sung whenever someone enters The Reverse Cuckold featured in the episode RuleShaven. Not to be confused with the episode of the same name.

It was performed by Huge Today, Tim Platt, and Branson Reese. Huge Today did the arrangements and orchestration with music by Tim Platt and lyrics by Tim Platt and Branson Reese. It is sung by The Soaking Valley Learning Annex Tabernacle Choir.

The instrumental part of Ding Dong is played in the background of several scenes before and after the full performance. It first plays over the outro of the episode Jurisdiction. The song was performed by the cast of the show singing in multiple takes using several different voices played over each other.

## Lyrics

I wanna tear down this town.

I wanna break every rule. Break every rule.

I wanna tear down this town.

I wanna break every rule. Break every rule.

And dingdong goes the bell

And they’ll hear it down in Hell

And they’ll hear it up in Heaven

As they quake in terror.

And dingdong goes the bell

And they’ll hear it down in Hell

When we tear it down they’ll hear it down in Hell.

And then when I die and me spirit meets the sky

I’ll walk around in Heaven with me head held high

I’ll look God in the eyes and this may come as no surprise

But I’ll grab him by his beard and make him beg forgiveness.

Dingdong goes the bell

And they’ll hear it down in Hell

And they’ll hear it up in Heaven

As they quake in terror.

And dingdong goes the bell

And they’ll hear it down in Hell

When we tear it down they’ll hear it down in Hell.

## Links

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlN-ixS1M3s

## Trivia

* When the small boy throws away his crutches for his solo, it is followed by the sound of glass shattering. This is because his crutches were made of glass. Patrons will later carve the date that the bell was rung into their arms using the shards of his crutches.
* The lyric "Ding dong goes the bell" ends up being used as a rallying cry of The Ruleshaven Liberation Army.
Sal Sisyphus

Determination.

Mind over matter.

Grippy gloves.

Faith.

People, I was where you are,

a spectator, a bar fly,

sitting back, staring back, hiding behind a mask.

I was in short, a victim.

That’s right, I was, me. A victim of everything THEY tried to tell me I was, and was not, and I bought people, ho ho boy did I ever buy it.

The whole bedtime story of weakness, dependency, fate, physics.

what a tiny little play they'll try to cast you in people,

But it’s not play, it’s your life,

and if it’s your life then there's no script,

and if there’s no script,

well then, anything's possible my friends.

That’s right, with just the teensiest weensiest change in how you look at yourself, you too can write your own story.

Transcend your fate.

live how you want to live,

Get that date.

Wear the kind of clothes you want to wear.

Use your moisturizer that you want to use.

Drive a cooool car.

In short, quit being ruled by guilt.

Quit being afraid of your own success and ascend to the champion life, it’s yours for the taking, if you just reach out and grab my patented system, the Sisyphus system of:

Newerbetter.

Power though Life ease.

With loadlift fantasee-it 10 step visualization training.

Complete with canine assisted trust dive.

Be your own rock.

Self coaching, coaching strongends.

We don’t say weekends anymore, we say strong ends because language matters folks.

Put the 'you' in attitude.

Call the number now...

Or find us on the World... Wide... Web..

thank you.

## Trivia

* His name and act are a reference to the myth of Sisyphus. According to Greek mythology, a man called Sisyphus who angered the goods was punished in the afterlife by being forced to roll a boulder up a mountain, but every time he nearly reached the top, the boulder would always roll down, and he would need to repeat the process forever.
Assembled Men

Automatons that were common among the wealthy during the peak of the Cordelian Empire. They are humanoid creations made of metal, often used as soldiers or servants to do unpleasant tasks. They tend to have stiff speaking voices and limited personalities, but some will develop more than others. They can be turned off as well as disabling themselves for a few hours a day to recharge, remaining fully conscious in such a state.

It's said that all assembled men are built from The Assembleaux Factory through some combination of magic and technology. Some are simply called "assembled" for short, and they are normally treated as property or possibly pets. Apart from attire or armaments, they are nearly identical to one another from being mass-produced.

Assembled men's primary power source comes from souls of the dead. Most souls can be broken down into smaller fragments and dispersed into many units, leaving the automotons with little personality or free-will. Certain types of souls prove unable to split apart, giving their assembled more thoughtful and expressive personalities. These are sent off to be caretakers and servants rather than soldiers.

Even those with only fractions of a soul maintain some deeply-buried level of intelligence and free will. These appear to be triggered when someone mentions or reminds them something that greatly interests them, such as fashion, gossip or particular animals. Without this, the very thought of disobeying or even disliking their orders can cause them confusion or physical pain.

## The Three Laws of Assembled Men

Amber-Ale Assembleaux programmed all assembled men he created with his three rules to obey above all others. The more self-aware assembled can ignore this programming.

1. Assembled men must not harm Amber-Ale Assembleaux.
2. Assembled men cannot let harm come to Amber-Ale by inaction.
3. Assembled men must always try their best.
Gerard Deparfood

Gerard is a massive muscular chef that works at Jurisdiction. He has a wild look to his eyes, a shoulder-length moustache, and a bad haircut he covers with his chef’s hat. He wields a butcher’s knife so large he keeps it strapped to his back and is muscular enough to swallow arrows into his body. Despite this, he humbly insists he is much weaker than God.

Gerard finds the party intruding on his kitchen in the episode Jurisdiction. He states that by Ruleshaven law, they are sentenced to death. He attacks them with his knife/sword but the party evades him long enough to knock him unconscious with a combination of magic and cooking pots. Bellow finishes him off with his Hellish Rebuke ability, turning him into what looks like a cooked Christmas goose. Gerard’s dying words assure them that this is the finest death any chef could hope for; to become the food they so loved. However, using demonic magic activates the hotel alarm.

The party scatters, and when Albee returns looking for Cordelia, she sees his perfectly cooked corpse being ascended into the stars by some culinary god. He is turned into a constellation as his reward. Albee takes his giant kitchen knife and wields it as her new broadsword.

## Trivia

* Gerard keeps a very tidy kitchen, and is easily distracted when the party tricks him into thinking it is full of rats or roaches with their magic.
* Gerard’s name is a play on Gérard Depardieu. Despite murdering the character on the podcast, the cast wishes him no ill will.
Come At the King: Chapter 2

*The blast from the past continues as our would be assassins delve into the sultry Suggestions District, on the lookout for an infamous bugbear femme fatale and her terrible secret about the Emperor. From outré vice to the inner circles of Payola's aristocracy, the mission to end the Emperor blunders ahead, but what illicit ears listen from the city's dark shadows?*

## Summary

After getting their orders from Snake Professional, the party heads towards The Suggestions District. Maneuvering through the seedier residents, they arrive at The Trim Cuckold. While Torrin uses the password given to them by Snake, the loxodon at the door tells them that’s the “old password.” After being reminded that they can use the new password or the permanent one, Smellulus recites the full poem he had heard on the job to get them in.

Failing to see their target (a “humanly beautiful bugbear”), the party starts to spread out and investigate. Deli heads to the bar to talk to Stale Dale the bartender about the most popular bugbears at the bar. Deli steals a drink while claiming that the wealthy dwarf at the end of the bar will pay her tab. Dale is impressed as he is the most wealthy dwarf in town, Wealthy Wim Windows. The bartender offers her the information for fifty gold, which she also tries to pin on the dwarf. Wim is shocked and claims he doesn’t have that much money, but will pay if she listens to one of his tales about his extravagant wealth. Deli aggressively refuses and flies away to hide from him before he can tell his tale.

The rest of the party questions some nearby bugbears who discuss their sex life after Smellulus impresses them with his small talk. They mention Hammerhair, a bugbear that they find grotesque for her human-like appearance. They haven’t seen her lately, but a nude goblin points out that she has been crying in the bathroom.

The party meets Hammerhair in the public bathroom and head outside to make their plans. She reveals to them that she once had an affair with the emperor. While she wishes him no ill will, she agrees to work with Snake to take down The Power Ball, a secret, ritualistic celebration held by wealthy nobles where they kill and eat a child to gain its power. The party agrees to stop it as Torrin realizes that her friend is likely their sacrifice given his recent and sudden adoption.

The party finds that they are being spied on by a kenku when it repeats their names and runs into an alley. After a brief chase, Deli catches up to him and kills him. Hammerhair informs them that she doesn’t know how to get to the location but that most wealthy citizens will have access to the party at the underground mansion of Sundown Samara, the Payola city dragon. They quickly grab Wealthy Windows and demand he take them with him. He agrees so long as they tell no one it was him and that one of them go as his date. Grimothee volunteers and they plan to dress themselves up for the occasion.

## Link

https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/miniseries-come-at-the-king-chapter-2
Bisabella

The CEO of Flammable Rock Holdings. She speaks quietly but has a commanding presence that makes her coworkers leap at her beck and call.

Her only appearance is at the New Year's Eve party in Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night. She insists that the party go well and sends the party to go fight Father Time to keep him from ruining things. Boy's Night tries to steal back the pen he borrows but accidentally gropes her instead. She offers him to meet her over it later, but she had actually called the police to have him arrested.

Since the party did not dispatch the three spirits in the basement of Reingold Pavilion, they visited her as the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future. During the epilogue, they convince her that the actions of FRH is amoral and she shuts the company down.
Catholicism

*"That was strike one, two AND three. And here in Catholocism, you don't even get the first strike."*

A Cordelian religion based around the worship of God and his son Jesus Christ. It is canon to Cordelia and seems to be very similar to its real world counterpart. The main difference is that Christ's miracles are much less impressive considering that many gods and demigods exist while magic is an almost everyday experience. The faith still insists that God is the one true god among all other deities. Bibles are common sources of conveying their message,

A Catholic pope and The Vatican are all canon to the setting, if not clearly explained. The party encouters Pope Bonoducci the Infinitieth within the laybrinths of The Switchblades, but he only considers himself a pope because he watches over and speaks for a stolen piece of God's still omnipotent brain.
Danica Town

A district of Ruleshaven that predates the city. Ruleshaven was built around it, and Ulcer Anatomies points out that this leaves them immune to the city's strict rules. It is located in the northwest of the city. It was founded by and named after Danica Ruleshaven.

Danica Town is considered the area’s “narc name” by its inhabitants. Its true name is Ruleshaven, however it predates the better-known Ruleshaven and is pronounced as “rule shaven” instead of “rules haven.” It was a settlement during the anarchy that reigned after the fall of The Cordelian Empire before newcomers insisted on order. They established their rule magic that causes any who reside in Danica Town to suffer extreme pain and eventually die for every step they take out of their designated area.

Danica Town has its own catapult available for public use. Given the limited space they live in, the citizens use it to fling heaps of their trash off the side of the mountain. It is also one of the only means of leaving the district, though these people invariably die from the curse or from the fall.

When Bellow rings the bell of Ruleshaven to reset its rules, their imprisonment is ended. The Ruleshaven Liberation Army is formed to attempt to reclaim the town amidst the mayhem.

## Trivia

* Danica Town considers Danica Ruleshaven their founder and hero. Many statues of her are built around the town, but they all tend to lose their heads.
* Danica Town runs on what is described as “a theft-based economy.”
Butter St. Beef

*"And folks, I pray that every single one of you is never put in a similar situation as this poor man who had to explode someone and then felt so bad about it he said I did this to look cool or some such. I forget what the bird said."*

A minotaur, lawyer and powerful warrior. He has a bull’s head and horns and tends to wear an outdated suit. He speaks with a wavering Southern drawl, but will revert into feral bull noises when he’s enraged. He is voiced by Christopher Hastings

Butter is introduced as the defense attorney for Bladen Corpse. After performing even worse than expected, he is sentenced to trial by combat. He emerges victorious but after failing to win the case, he’s poor and desperate enough to take on Snake Professional’s job offer. He refuses to question their task after being promised more money than he could ever want and is quick to remind everyone of this, despite not being willing to split up his share of the unimaginable wealth.

Butters is verbose and speaks in a Southern drawl. He acts confident in his abilities as a lawyer, but his actual success is questionable. He seems to maintain his level of success despite this by being a powerful and well-trained fighter, proving himself time and again when the case comes down to trial by combat.

## Relationships

Butter acts friendly with his team and will often crack jokes with them. He appears glad to work with his teammates to take on their mutual goal. While he'll help his teammates with whatever task is at hand, his true commitment appears to be to the job and the money involved. He wishes to see the system he's been a part of taken down at any cost, and he is quick to keep the party on track or even threaten them if they put the mission at risk.

## Trivia

* Butter states that his earliest memories were of living on a giant chessboard, participating in games of human chess. In combat, he may even mimic the movement of chess pieces.
* He was told that he was born when an unknown human mated with a cow/bull.
* Butter sleeps in the nude and has fur "in all the right places." After this is left ambiguous, Branson Reese determines that he has fur covering his lower body so that it's less uncomfortable for everyone around him when he walks around in the nude.
* Butter's voice is modeled after character actor Pat Buttram. It is also the voice Chris uses for Blathers the owl in Animal Crossing.
* Butters claims to have a natural affinity for mazes by being a minotaur.

## Quotes

* *"As it were, my earliest memories were of growing up on a gigantic chess board, where most evenings I would play, as it were, the rook. Occasionally I got to play the queen on account of being so agile."*
* *"The rook moves in a straight line..."*
* *"Oh, Smellulus... I wish you hadn'ta said that..."*
Frankie Fielder

A 23 year old Witch Hunter recruit. She is played by Ali Fisher in the episode The Thin Black Line.

She has a history with Dutch Stewart, the two bonding over Lara Loft books and their time together at Witch Hunter camp. Dutch is incredibly cautious about her at first, worried that his history of pranks will count against him in his advancement within the Witch Hunters. Despite this and Morris Ironside's warnings not to fall in love with your teammates, Dutch leaves a note under her pillow as they board a ship out of town. It asks her to kindly stop bringing up their past together and also to marry him.

Frankie and her new allies find their ship raided by The Ruleshaven 5, launching a counterattack. Frankie finds herself stricken by the beauty of Cordelia Sasquatch, who panics and uses Cheddar's possession to force her to hide in a barrel. Cordelia remains unaware that the barrel is full of water and Frankie drowns inside.

## Trivia

* Frankie is from Carroll Dunham Falls.
* She was registered as number 243 in The Witch Hunters.
* Frankie used to be captain of her high school basketball team.
* Frankie shares the same first name as Ali's character from Vampire: The Masquerade, Franky Chesterfield.
Fright of the Living Dread

A livestream show that aired on Halloween 2020. It aired on YouTube with several celebrity preludes and exclusive merchandise made available during the stream. It tells the non-canon story of the party spending the night in a spooky mansion to earn a witch’s inheritance.

Since the stream was paid content, details will not be shared on the wiki until the show is made public.
Alex

A dwarf clad in black who lives in the sewers of The Soaking Valley. He and his twin brother Balbor stand guard in the sewers, challenging passerby to answer their riddle in order to choose the correct path. They claim that one only lies and one only tells the truth, but they admit to changing who does which as they see fit.

When Albee breaks into tears of frustration and Stirfry points out the flaw to their logic (that both of them explain the rules in the same way while claiming one only lies), they concede and simply tell the party which way to take.

Alex is much more soft-spoken and less dramatic than his twin Balbor. Most people seem to think that Alex is the one that tells only truths.

When the party returns to the Soaking Valley, they find that Mother has conquered the minds of many of its populace. When they are sneaking through the sewers, they meet Balbor and Alex under her control. Mother has reprogrammed their brains to make one of them only lie and one only tell the truth, and she refuses to let the party ask the traditional question (ask which tunnel would the other say to go down?) to find the right path. Stirfry threatens Alex with his crossbow, causing him to half-heartedly beg Stirfry to kill him because he hates his life and his name is not Alex. The party then asks Balbor the answer and follow his lead.
Deities

Immensely powerful gods and goddesses that oversee much of Cordelia. They come in many forms and tend to focus on a particular concept or domain. Given the setting, this can vary wildly from concepts like law or healing to specific domains like vacations, letter writing, pirates, going to the bathroom, and letting your waste fall wherever you’re standing. While the creatures of Cordelia may worship, defy or remain unaware of any number of deities, their legendary power makes it difficult not to believe they exist.

With their higher plane of thinking, gods can easily overlook or even ignore the world of mortals. Most represent themselves in some form of religion, forming clerics and temples to draw the attention and worship of mortals. They commonly grant a small amount of magic to their clerics, allowing them to perform minor miracles and aid others to spread the word of their religion. Some gods will smite or curse people personally over strong enough grudges. Gods are capable of having children or simply granting some of their powers to a mortal, forming a demigod.

Gods can also be killed, assuming that something is powerful enough to do the deed. Larroquette is said to be eternally warm due to an assassinated god, and Danny Timeshare plays minigolf using the skull of a forgotten god as his hole.

Some gods will join forces to form a pantheon, whether to remain relevant or to avoid being forgotten by more popular deities. Since there can't be more than one god of any domain, a god entering a pantheon may redefine their purpose to avoid redundancy in their faith. Danny Timeshare was once a god of travel, but after joining the Cordelian pantheon he happily changed his persona to a god of vacations.

## Known Gods

* Beyonce
* Breadskin, the god of bread crusts
* Cayvara, the goddess of creation
* Combatro, the god of one on one combat.
* Danny Timeshare, the god of vacations
* Father Time, the embodiment of the calender year
* God, a creation deity
* God 2, a proposed sequel to God
* Jesus Christ, the son of God
* Luray, the goddess of caves
* Natura, the goddess of pissing and shitting wherever you're standing
* Oozer, the god of slime
* Ordelia, a god of law and order
* Philadelphio, the god of siblings
* Polaris, the god of going to the bathroom
* The Butthole Queen, the goddess worshiped by goblins
* Vanessa Redgrave, the goddess of pirates
* Weirmon, the god of letter writing
Beardrix

A vampire bounty hunter with a spiderweb tattoo on his face. He is a minor NPC in Blood Tales of Depravity. His real name is Teardrix, but he used to grow a waxed, pointed beard that earned him his nickname. He has become clean-shaven since then, but the name stuck

After the party agrees to hunt down Ingenue Damnation, he tails them in a motorcycle and attempts to flag them down. Franky Chesterfield simply rams him off off the road. He fires a shotgun after them, but is left behind as they proceed with their adventure.
Diarrhea

A well-known and wealthy goblin. She is one of the main players in The Power Ball, using her dark magics to serve everyone present a fraction of a child's corpse as part of their ritual. She demonstrates her casting a spell on a goat, turning into a vaguer and vaguer depiction of a goat until it is reduced to liquid "goat juice" in a cup in everyone's hands.

Diarrhea plays hostess to the main ritual, but before she can use her magic on The Beautiful Avoider, Torrin intervenes. She casts Cloud of Daggers, shredding Diarrhea to pieces before she can cast any further spells.

Diarrhea possesses powerful magic that makes her nigh immortal. She can still be killed, but is capable of reviving herself by several means. She is canonically shredded to pieces by Torrin, only to reappear moments later to attack her. Torrin kills her again, but at the same moment as her death a goblin is born somewhere else in the world. The parents naming their child find themselves suddenly compelled to name her Diarrhea.

## Trivia

* Despite the spelling of her name and goblin naming conventions, Diarrhea is pronounced "dee-ah-rea" to closer Daria.
* Diarrhea is capable of eating and digesting magic as a power source, swallowing one of Torrin’s spells to enter an empowered state where magic (and piss and shit) shoots from her every orifice.
* She wears the mask of a goose to The Power Ball.
* Diarrhea has massive germs. They explode out of her as she dies, splattering them on everyone present.
Catherine Chesterfield

Lia Chesterfield's mother in Beans and Revelry. She is happily married to Cornelius Chesterfield and is far too open with their public displays of affection for most peoples' liking. Both of the parents believe that Lia can do no wrong. They are the host and hostess to the 12th Day of Christmas party that begins Beans and Revelry.
Alto Stratus

A bald, deep-voiced man with cloudy eyes who leads The Children of the Atmosphere. He is frank about still putting together the details of the cult, but attempts to follow Fractus' teachings by forcing people to worship him and killing those that won't. He is the main speaker for the cult and claims to know the deceased Fractus' will. He possesses the power to summon winds.

Alto leads the cult in kidnapping and trying the party in Rain of Terror. He conducts their trials until Stirfry fails the test of the body (throwing progressively more balls at him to juggle). Alto attempts to sacrifice him for disappointing the spirit of Fractus, fighting the party briefly before their illusions create a false Fractus in their presence. The hopeful followers completely buy the ruse and by de Bonesby's illusory orders, they all run to the rooftop to pee off into the night.
Bellow the wolf

Not to be confused with Bellow the tiefling.

A wolf that goes along with Cum Dangle's stunts. He happily participates, but can be very hard on himself. When he attempts to help the party cross Stampede Canyon, he is dejected when Bellow turns into a wolf himself and doesn't need him. Once Bellow realizes that Cum is smacking wolves in the balls to get them to jump across, he changes back and asks for Bellow the wolf's help.
Cordelio Ranchero the Thick

Son of Empress Cordelia Ranchero and father to Bellyass the Wise, he was the second ruler of The Cordelian Empire. He inherited his mother's empire and decided that he would make it as "thick" as his famously thick neck, expanding their realm rapidly during his life. He died at age 52, just like his mother, though his demise was caused by choking on his own neck.
Diana

The Dean's beloved wife. She is a patient woman with an interest in tennis.

She is only seen in the episode Nice ?!? as part of the Dean's horrible fate. Dean is shackled in the middle of a "wifeless" desert where his wife has been turned into an oasis that remains just out of reach. She remains pleasant and can still speak normally. She is fond of Bellow despite the dean's outrage.
Geraldine

Geraldine is a beautiful woman with a gravely voice. She and her husband Austin are staying at Jurisdiction at the same time that the party breaks into it while escaping Brian Fuck.

Cordelia breaks into their room to hide from the guards, startling Austin awake. Geraldine assures him it’s another one of his nightmares until his repeated complaints drive her to threaten him with their fourth divorce. They are set to divorce the next day when the rest of the party barges in. De Bonesby poses as the hotel’s housekeeping and proclaims their room to be dirty, confiscating some of Austin’s clothes for cleaning.

When the party flees the scene, the couple share a moment of excitement after realizing they can still make sparks after all these years. The intruders unwittingly save their marriage.
Breaking Dawn

*Exit, pursued by human-sized bats. Our heroes fly across the dunes and dust of the Trashlands, exhausted and terrified, to escape the attacking*
 swarm, but from the East comes dawn, and with it? Why nothing more than life, death, and truth itself. The harsh light of morning pushes our heroes to a crisis point, and nothing will ever be the same.

The 17th episode in the main Rude Tales of Magic story. The party escapes the wrath of The Shish Kebab Express only to be pursued by angry dire bats.

## Summary

The party begins in mid-chase as the riled swarm of dire bats chase them through The Trashlands. The party starts picking them off with magic and attacks while Frederick de Bonesby struggles to drive The Shish Kebab Express. His body begins losing more bones the more he exerts himself. The sun starts to rise but when it’s not enough to deter the last of the bats, Bellow uses his new Cleric magic to summon a magical light that convinces the bats that dawn has come. The remaining dire bats turn back towards their cave as the party comes to a halt. The sudden stop destroys the goblin tires on The Shish Kebab Express as the party hurries to help an injured and sun-scorched Ivan Gretsky.

The naked and incomplete de Bonesby miserably leaves his goblin truck to make room for Ivan, letting him take shelter from the incoming sun. The dazed and injured Ivan refuses to drink the party’s blood to maintain his oath, but has a private word with a concerned Albee. He reminds her of their talk from the previous night and how being lost and confused is natural and thrilling. As the rest of the party starts to settle down for a rest, Ivan shouts out that Albee has feelings for… and is cut off by Albee.

De Bonseby asks the stunned party if he meant Albee has feelings for Bellow. He adds that Cordelia and Stirfry all have feelings for Bellow too. Cordelia rushes to correct him (while Stirfry agrees noncommittally), but Albee leaves Ivan to rest as she approaches and admits her feelings to Bellow. Cordelia drags Frederick and Stirfry behind their truck to give them their privacy. Bellow explains that Albee is clearly gone through a lot recently and that he doesn’t think she’s ready to pursue a relationship right now. He agrees to talk about it again when she’s done with her journey and kisses her on the cheek.

The party regroups upon hearing several orcs riding on giant dragonflies interrupt the conversation. They introduce themselves as Canyonera, Dodge Deranga, and Natalie Armpits and check that everyone is okay after their truck crashed. The party explains that they were heading towards Ruleshaven, but the orcs explain that they are way off course and heading towards the town of Riddles Guy. Albee is discouraged by the name alone, but given the state of the party, they agree to follow the riders to the town to recover. Before they depart, Cordelia checks in on Ivan and casts Invisibility on him. This seems to prevent him from being burnt by the sun, allowing him to accompany them to the next town.

## Link

https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/breaking-dawn
Franklin Neapolitan

The owner of Franklin's Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry Emporium. He puts out a bounty on Timmy And Tommy after they rack up a lot of debt in The Ice Cream and Candy District and keep sneaking into R-rated movies. Franklin is convinced that Timmy is just two boys in a trench coat, and wants them brought in alive so he can help them mend their ways and stay on the right path.
Crime Boy

### "*Why I oughtaaaaa commit more crimes! What are you gonna do about it!?"*

A generic criminal, including his black bandana mask and prisoner number hanging on his neck. He is used as an example by Chief Penny Downtown to show off Grimothee's criminal-catching prowess, but between Crime Boy’s unwillingness to cooperate and Grimothee’s logic, they fail to impress the smooth and shadowy council. Crime Boy is both freed and willingly arrested in the process, but he draws out the act as much as he can to annoy Penny.
Eddie Single

A freshly recruited Witch Hunter. He is played by Tim Platt in the episode The Thin Black Line. He wields a meteor hammer as his weapon of choice.

Eddie is 22 and comes from Sephesda, near the capital city. He is considered a 6 out of 10 in attractiveness, which has left him devastated in the wake of Witch Hunters forgetting and re-learning about attractive people. It leaves him constantly questioning himself and his looks, making him slightly more on edge than the other recruits.

Eddie works alongside the other recruits throughout their initiation and is set to be shipped off to his new assignment when they happen to be aboard. He is gravely wounded and dies fighting The Ruleshaven Five.

## Trivia

* Eddie is designated as a Witch Hunter under the number 245.
* Eddie confesses to indulging in drink when he fears that being impure of heart may make him unsuitable as a Hunter. He briefly tried to overcome this as a former Friend of Bethel.
Getouttahere

A member of Stirfry's gang of kenku and brother/frequent partner to Amscray. They both dress and act like Dickensian orphans, wearing matching scarves and top hats. They tend to mimic voices with the same sort of English accents. Stirfry praises them as being capable of stealing anything they go after, and they even steal the rapier off their would-be assassin during their fight at Scrum North.

Amscray and Getouttahere are impish and playful, often breaking into coordinated dances or acrobatics for little to no reason. They were together at their father's deathbed, though Frederick interrupts them by shouting to stop telling their tragic backstory.

The brothers are attacked by a mysterious assassin while the party visits Scrum North, horribly injured by her blade. Bellow heals their wounds and Stifry convinces them to pursue and rob their killer, taking her blade so that the others can take her on more easily.
Admiral Weiner’s R-Rated Movies

One of many theaters in Porno Square. It specializes in showing adult movies full of violence and partial nudity. The movies are played by hard-wired kenku that describe the scenes so vividly that the audience can practically see the images.

This is one of many places where Timmy And Tommy has irritated the staff in the episode A Real Live Adult.