Foloid

Foloids are a colloquial name for a wide subset of post-1992 anomalies that take on plant-like characteristics, such as imperceptible dietary needs, sedentary lifestyles, and largely immobile existences. The term once faced scrutiny for attempting to classify a class of entity that - until recently - was regarded as arbitrary and ambiguous. It was eventually accepted when people realized the sheer number of different anomalies that shared these basic behaviors.

## Overview

The typical Foloid is an unnatural manifestation, phenomenon, or anomaly that nevertheless exhibits plant-like behaviors. Foloids can come in a variety of sizes, and need not follow plant anatomy or color scheme. Many can be confused for native flora at a glance, while some are much more divergent. The typical Foloid has all of these attributes.

1. A physical, spatially contained, or otherwise decipherable body
2. Little to no mobility
3. The capacity to grow in size
4. The capacity to reproduce

Additionally, most Foloids are harmless, and do not exceed α3 on the Classification scale as a rule. Any dangers presented by a Foloid are equivalent to those one could expect from native flora (population crowding, irritants, allergens, carcinogens, or some equivalent thereof) and must be safe enough to reasonably handle.

## Foloid Vs Not Foloid

Any eccentrically shaped, colored, and behaved thing can be a Foloid if it follows the rules above and is below a certain danger threshold. Foloids may look like swarms of bubbles, pockets of gas, or even open seams in space. A stringy green bundle that looks "like a plant but weird" is a Foloid. A vibrating latticework mass that lures and eats small rodents is also a Foloid.

As a rule of thumb, ask yourself this question:

*Can I grow this in my garden without risking my life or the lives of my neighbors?*

If your answer is no, it is not a Foloid.

## History

Foloids are a common anomaly and have appeared many times throughout history, from the dreaded Fever Years to the much tamer modern era. The number of Foloids seems to have increased over time, possibly reflecting a "settling" or integration of anomalous activity. It is also possible Foloids increased in scope because human acceptance and appreciation of phenomena empowered more peaceful incarnations. Another theory states that Foloids are not only increasing, they are overtaking: Just as they grow in size and population across earth's surface, they parasitize and repurpose other anomalies into their own branch of phenomena, slowly converting more and more different things into Foloids. The Foloid Parasite theory hypothesizes them as an end-all for anything weak enough to fall into their conceptual event horizon

Famous Phenomeologist and Psychologist Peter Pigeonhole had his own theory on Foloids:

"A lot of lesser anomalies use aspects of their surroundings to get an idea of how to behave. Still others want to choose the most optimal form for their own purposes, which is most often to increase in power, influence, or number. When you really get down to things, the 'plant model' is one of the simplest things you can be. It's very replicable and allows pursuit of greater goals in a non-confrontational way. All you need to do is exist, take something in, and increase your size. The Foloid is a manifestation of the path of least resistance."

Despite Pigeonhole's speech, the Foloid parasite theory continues to make the rounds among academics. Some believe that, if anything, Pigeonhole's argument strengthens the parasite theory's principles.

## Notable Foloids

Just as it is difficult to classify a chunk of phenomena into the "Foloid" category, it is even more so to separate Foloids into distinct species. The traditional concepts of evolution, mutation, and ancestry are different to such unnatural entities. Two nearly identical Foloids may not share any relation or be composed of completely different materials. Other Foloids may have far too many separate life cycles to count. Still others undergo consistent mutation as a natural part of growth. Nevertheless, this has not stopped people from trying.

   **The Plont**- A Foloid very, very similar in color and shape to the real thing. Often consistent in its asymmetry, creating shapes independent of the surrounding environment that some find very pleasing. It has a stem made of uniform material, nodules that serve no known purpose, and roots to anchor itself. It requires no measurable sustenance. Plonts grow sporadically, especially at night and when unobserved. They are often completely harmless and grow in tight-knit clusters, making them ideal for the eccentric landscaper.

    **Party Puddles**- An affectionate name for Foloids so intricate, colorful, or overlapping that they cease to resemble any particular object and take the shape of heterogenous mush. Party Puddles are known for their tendency to contain all the primary colors (and then some) and their amorphous natures, so named because they can resemble a spilled mess of gaudy party supplies. The reason for these whimsically textured Foloids is, like so much else, unknown. It is possible they are colorful simply because they can be.

    **Rooties**- Foloids that share attributes with the roots of a plant or fungus more than the upper shoots. Rooties typically grow horizontally across or within surfaces, maximizing their coverage while minimizing their total mass. Some Rooties prefer to burrow inside of inanimate objects, while others like to be exposed to air. Rooties also tend to be more ambiguous when it comes to reproduction: it may be hard to tell if multiple rooties are really a single overgrown specimen, or perhaps multiple specimens that have linked up to create one super-Foloid. Rooties tend to be the most invasive Foloid, but the least anomalous on average.

    Note that a majority of Foloids do not fall into these express categories, though they may be adjacent to one or more. Some examples are included below.

    **The Heismeberg Foloid**- One of the first officially cultivated Foloids. This subtype rapidly grew to crowd what was then the failing town of Heismeberg. Desperate residents quickly discovered The Heismeberg Foloid was edible, and many owe their lives to its convenient appearance. The Heisemeberg Foloid did not naturally expand beyond the boundaries of the town, but when artificially emigrated, would reproduce at manageable levels. Multiple attempts were put forth to make The Heismeberg Foloid a staple food source, but the majority of people did not trust it and preferred the NAPD's Hot Chip instead. The Heismeberg Foloid thrives on small amounts of dead skin particles and has a meaty, spongy taste. Extended physical contact can cause slight skin irritation, but nothing more. It can still be found today and is often used in arguments to prove that even in the past, not all unnatural things were bad.

**Grekkin's Thumb**- Named after Howard Grekkin, a relatively unremarkable man. Grekkin's only claim to fame was that he had never seen a single unnatural event or entity in his life. This curious trait was not well-publicized during his life, as his withdrawn and reclusive nature made fact-gathering difficult. Grekkin died in a supermarket at the old age of 87. Officials at the scene noted a rapidly growing Foloid anchored in his hypothalamus. The floor was quarantined until the Foloid could be removed and placed in a more secure environment. Testing revealed the Foloid to be completely harmless: it did not draw in sustenance or release harmful materials, making it almost as innocuous as the man it grew from. Analysis of the body reveals cause of death to be a heart attack. Grekkin's Thumb does not appear to be responsible for the man's demise. Its relation to him, if any, is unknown. Grekkin's Thumb does not reproduce, but appears immortal.

**Red Crest**- An elegant Foloid that grows in patches. It is able to bud other growths, but these are all the same Foloid and will wither if separated. To reproduce, the Red Crest appears to spawn another in a limited mile radius. The frequency of spawning is increased by the number of secondary buds, but will never exceed more than one spawning every few years. Since Red Crest grows slowly, this species is quite rare. Red Crest is sustained by vibration and continuously resonates with the last tone it received. This makes it one of the self-sustaining Foloids. Red Crest is very hard to damage, but reacts violently to harm and can die if even a portion of its membrane is torn.

**Shockthorn**- A long, weedy Foloid that grows in wide carpeting swaths with no breaks. Shockthorn consumes its own matter when starved, getting smaller and smaller in an absence of sustenance. Charged air causes it to grow in size. The sustenance provided by thunderstorms is on average greater than the starvation caused by the periods between them, so all Shockthorn have a net gain. This Foloid is often regarded as one of the most invasive, especially near human technology. It has a chance to deliver a small electric shock every second it touches live matter. It cannot survive in high-temperature areas and will shrink to nothing in the presence of intense flame.

**Blisterweb**- A very slow-growing Foloid. No one has ever seen this variety reproduce, but they have increased in number within their territory. Blisterweb require only light and moisture, but sink in deep water. They prefer to live in swamplands and shallow lakes, where they wallow in fluids and achieve impressive bulk. Blisterweb are some of the densest Foloids, easily weighing 4 tons or more. They move at imperceptible speeds towards objects of interest. Blisterweb seem to like crawling over fragile things like branches or bones. It is possible they derive a primordial pleasure from breaking these items under their bulk.

**Windroot**- A winding, webby Foloid with behavior similar to a rootie. Windroot grows across the ground in an asymmetrical fashion and will overlap on itself if conditions are favorable. It attempts to seek out windy places and gathers energy from the air current. Windroot requires no sustenance but will retract and transfer mass from a less desirable area to a more desirable area. It never willingly expand out of this desired area unless cut and replanted manually. Special wind tunnel mechanisms can be constructed to lure and contain Windroot when it grows out of control. These mechanisms inevitably become choked by thick knots of the Foloid.

## Trivia

* Ranchos, Nightwalkers, Gomboxes, and other less dangerous anomalies tend to find Foloids fascinating but feel more comfortable around conventional earth flora.
* Most Foloids co-exist with true plants, but may passively outcompete them for space over time. Unchecked Party Puddles are the most common offenders, but overlapping Rooties can qualify as well. Plonts are the least likely to cause a shift in the ecosystem.
* Foloids have been discovered on the moon, but only on the side that faces earth.