Joseph Smith American Moses

**Joseph Smith American Moses** is the fifthteenth song from the 2011 musical *The Book of Mormon*. It is sung by Nabulung and the converted Ugandans as they "teach" the mission president what Elders Price and Cunningham taught them

## Lyrics

**(Nabulung; Spoken)** And now we wish to honour you with the story of Joseph Smith The American Moses!

**(Mission President)** Well this is very good, praise Christ

**(Ugandans)** Mormon!

**(Nabulung)** I'm going to take you back in time!

**(Ugandans)** (mormon)

**(Nabulung)** To the United States year 1823

**(Ugandans)** (mormon)

**(Nabulung)** A small and odd village called oop-state New York

**(Ugandans)** (oopstate)

**(Nabulung)** There was Disease, and famine

**(Ugandans)** (so sick)

**(Nabulung)** But also in the village lived a simple farmer who would change everything

His name was Joseph Smith

**(Ugandans)** Ha-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya

Joseph Smith, American Moses!

Praise be to Joseph! American prophet man

**(Joseph Smith)** Ay! My name is Joseph Smith, and I'm going to fuck this baby!

**(Mission President)**What?!

**(Ugandans)** No no Joseph! Don't fuck the baby!

Joseph Smith, don't fuck the baby!

**(Nabulung)** Suddenly the clouds parted

And Joseph Smith was visited by God!

**(God)** Joseph Smith, do not fuck a baby

I'll get rid of your AIDS if you fuck this frog

**(Ugandans)** Ha-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya

Joseph Smith fucked the frog god gave him

And his AIDS went away!

**(Nabulung)** Then a great wizard named Moroni came down from the Starship Enterprise

**(Moroni)** Joseph Smith! Your village is shit!

You should lead the villagers to a new village

Take these fucking golden plates

**(Ugandans)** (away)

**(Nabulung)** And on the plates were written the directions to a new land

Sal Tlay Ka Siti!

**(Ugandans)** (Sal Tlay Ka Siti!)

**(Nabulung)** Joseph tried to convince all the villagers to follow him and his golden plates

**(Joseph Smith)** Liberation! Equality! No more slavery for oop-state Mormon people!

I got de golden plates!

**(Ugandans)** (gold plates)

**(Joseph Smith)** I gunna lead the people!

**(Ugandans)** (we head west)

**(Joseph Smith)** We gotta stick together!

**(Ugandans)** (for months)

**(Joseph Smith)** We gotta help each other!

**(Ugandans)** (we will for months)

**(Joseph Smith)** And so we climb the mountain!

**(Ugandans)** (we head west)

**(Joseph Smith)** And we cross the river

**(Ugandans)** (we head west)

**(Joseph Smith)** And we fight the oppression!

**(Ugandans)** (for months)

**(Joseph Smith)** By being nice to everyone

**(Ugandans)** (we are Mormons)

**(Brigham Young)** Not so fast Mormons! You shall not pass my mountain!

**(Ugandans)** (Down from the mountain look who comes! The American warman, Brigham Young!)

**(Brigham Young)** Yes! I am Brigham Young!

I cut off my daughter's clitoris

That made god angry so he turned my nose into a clit for punishment!

**(Ugandans)** (Brigham Young, his nose was a clitoris)

What will you do Joseph? Will you fight the clitoris man?

**(Joseph Smith)** Not fight him, help him!

**(Ugandans)** (oh)

**(Nabulung)** Joseph Smith took his magical fuck frog and rubbed it upon Brigham Young's clit-face

And behold, Brigham was cured!

**(Ugandans)** Joseph Smith! Magical AIDS frog!

Brigham Young, frog on his clit-face!

**(Nabulung)** Young was so grateful, he decided to join the Mormons and their journey

**(Brigham Young)** Compassion!

Courtesy!

**(Joseph Smith)** Let's be really fucking polite to everyone!

I got de golden plates!

**(Ugandans)** (gold plates)

**(Joseph Smith)** I gunna lead the people!

**(Ugandans)** (we head west)

**(Joseph Smith)** We gotta stick together!

**(Ugandans)**(for months)

**(Nabulung)** Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad

**(Ugandans)** (oh)

**(Nabulung)** After travelling for so long

The Mormons ran out of fresh water

And became sick, with dysentery

**(Ugandans)** (Water go to the water, water go to the cup

Cup go to the stomach, shit come out the butt

Shit go in the water, water go in the cup

Shit go down the stomach, shit come out the butt)

**(Joseph Smith)** Oh fuck!

**(Nabulung)** Oh no! The prophet Joseph Smith is now getting sick!

**(Ugandans)** (Shit go in the water, water go in the cup

Cup go to the thirsty, shit go to the stomach

Blood come out the butt

Blood go in the water, water go in the cup

Cup to the the cup

Shit blood in the stomach, shit blood in the mouth

Shit blood on the insides, water come out the butt)

**(Joseph Smith)** Brigham Young, you must take the golden plates and lead the Mormons to the promise land!

**(Brigham Young)** Desperation!

Mortality!

Loss of faith!

Ah, got the golden plates

**(Ugandans)** (gold plates)

**(Brigham Young)** I gunna lead the people

**(Ugandans)** (we head west)?

**(Nabulung)** Even though their prophet had died

The Mormons stuck together

And helped each other

And were really nice to everyone they came across

And then one day, the Mormons finally found

Sal Tlay Ka Siti!

**(Ugandans)** (Sal Tlay Ka Siti!)

And then, the Mormons danced with ewoks

And were greeted by Jesus!

**(God)** Welcome Mormons!

Now, let's all have as many babies as we can

And make big, Mormon families!

Woohoo!

**(Ugandans)** Fuck your woman, fuck your man

It is all part of God's plan

Mormons help God as they can

Here in Salt Lake City land!

Thank you! Thank you

For now we are fucking

Thank you! Thank you

Come god wants us fucking

Thank you! Thank you

But get back to fucking

Thank you! Thank you god!

Joseph Smith fuck frog

Brigham Young clit face

Shit come out the but

Jesus says fuck fuck Mormons