Pedo God

Pedo God in the flesh

Horseman

The Bad Man

Hillbilly Hunter

Lemon Man (son)

Old Graps (son)

Strawberry Man (son)

Pineapple Dick (son)

Cherry Guy (son)

Pooolls (occasionally)

Deeeldoos (occasionally)

Pedo God (real name: Ramses Mozart Francis Fitzgerald Potter Elfson Mark Suckass Ben Doverson) is a God and leader of the Pedo Faction.He was born in Ancient Egypt in 1080 B.C.He commands the Pedo Army, and oversees operations from his own realm, Realm 34.69, aka Pedo Land.He occasionally allies himself with General Kilgore to fight the Hillbillies.He is mortal enemies with the hillbillies , as they have been in conflict for several hundred years.He is also the creator of all the Fruit Pedos.

## Origin

Pedo God was born as Ramses Mozart Francis Fitzgerald Potter Elfson Mark Suckass Ben Doverson to 2 slaves, in Luxor, Egypt, in 1080 B.C.He was raised into slavery and was brutally whipped and tormented many years.When he was 11 he witnessed his parents get executed for standing up to their captors.He was deeply traumatized by this.For the next 3 years he started planning an escape plan.This is when he met his only girfriend ever and the love of his life, a girl named Anastasia.She was from Greece and was shipped off to Egypt when her parents were killed by the Egyptians.They met during the final year of Pedo God planning his escape, in March of 1066 B.C.They first became friends when Ramses offered her his food after being tossed in the stable with no food for trying to escape.At first she didn't really wanna talk to him but he helped take care of the cuts she had sustained while being captured.They started talking and became friends.Another event that deepened their bond was when one night they were heading back to the stables after a long day's work a guard noticed Anastasia and started harassing her and calling her names.She told the guard to fuck off and the guard didn't take it very kindly.He grabbed her by the wrist and threw her on the floor.Ramses saw this and ran in front of Anastasia.The guard tried to get to her again but Ramses tackled him and started punching him.They were drawing a pretty large crowd and soon more guards came and broke up the fight.Ramses however was still enraged and started beating the other guards as well.They were fist fighting when suddenly one of the slave masters came and broke up the fight.Normal punishment would have been to whip Ramses, but the slave master decided to let Ramses and Anastasia off the hook, stating that "This one's a fighter.A lion protecting his lioness.He'll make a fine warrior when he's grown up".Ramses and Anastasia quickly returned to the stables to sleep.They began becoming closer friends and then their friendship blossomed into love.Pedo God himself said:"We were soulmates and destined to be with each other.I loved her more than anything else and she loved me back too".Since they were slaves, they decided to keep their love secret from their captors.This relationship also caused him to realize that he wasn't just doing the escape for himself now, he had Anastasia as well.He told her his escape plan and she agreed to run away with him.They started having sex regularly and Anastasia became pregnant with Ramses' child.They continued to be slaves and perfecting their plan while trying to hide Anastasia's pregnancy from their captors for 7 months.Their captors then realized Anastasia was pregnant and threatened to kill her if she didn't tell them who the father was.Ramses spoke up and assumed responsibility.Their captors were furious and were gonna whip both Anastasia and Ramses but he volunteered to take both of their punishments combined so Anastasia wouldn't be whipped.The slavers agreed and brutally tortured and whipped Ramses for a week straight.He barely survived this ordeal and was severely injured when they were finished with him.Due to this they had to delay their escape plan by another 2 months.After this he was viewed as a hero by his fellow slaves.One of his captors even took pity on him and admired him and let him and Anastasia take a break from working while he was recovering.This man would turn into Old Graps many centuries later.Anastasia cared for him and helped nurse him to health.During this time they would become closer than ever before due to them opening up more and telling their life's stories to each other.They also realized they were basically soulmates since much of what had happened in their lives was the same.When Ramses had finally recovered Anastasia was 2 weeks from delivering the baby,so they decided to escape right then and there.Their plan was to have Old Graps, who was then known as Amon,sneak them knives and bows and leave their cage unlocked so they could take out the guards stealthily and sneak out of the city and into the harbor and take a boat down the Nile River into safer territory.Their plan was going smoothly until a guard walked by having come back from the horse stables and noticed one of the cages was unlocked and also saw several dead bodies.He decided not to raise the alarm since it would alert the escapees, so he followed the trail and came across Anastasia waiting for Ramses to kill a soldier by stabbing him in the back.The guard snuck up and took her by surprise while Ramses killed the other guard.She screamed and alerted Ramses.He spun around and saw the guard holding a knife to her throat.The guard told Ramses to not move or "I will slit this little whore's throat".Ramses reacted by throwing the knife at the guard's knee really fast causing the guard to drop his knife.Ramses dived for the guard's knife and stabbed him in the heart.After this close call Ramses and Anastasia decided to hurry up more since more guards would probably see the dead bodies.They managed to sneak out of the slave's stables and across the city.They were almost past the Pharoah's palace and out of the city,but one of the pharoah's guards had seen Ramses and decided to kill them both.The guard took aim with his bow and arrow and was ready to fire.Ramses sensed something was wrong and drew his knife and threw it incredibly fast at the guard.It struck the guard in between the eyes but caused him to release the arrow he had readied.Since the guard was half fallen when the arrow was released,instead of hitting Ramses it hit Anastasia in the stomach when she turned around to see what had happened.Ramses was by this point almost losing it, as they were so close to escaping and Anastasia had been injured.He scooped her into his arms and started to run for the front gate of the city.Unfortunately, another palace guard had heard the sound of his fellow guard drop and ran out to see what had happened.He saw his dead comrade and saw Ramses running away.The guard fired an arrow at Ramses and it struck him in the arm.He almost fell but kept running.The guard however alerted the rest of the guards and went along with another guard after Ramses on horseback.Ramses was at this point slowing down due to the pain from the arrow.Anastasia had also lost a lot of blood and was starting to pale a lot.They were out of the city and running to the harbor.They were less than 20 feet away when the guards came in horses and shot Ramses 4 times.He got hit twice in the back and another time in the same arm he had been shot earlier, and also got hit in the leg.He fell down and dropped Anastasia.The guards got off their horses and proceeded to kick Rames in the head, knocking him to the ground.He was almost passed out and ready to give up when he heard Anastasia calling out to him in a weak voice.This managed to get him up and he lunged at one of the guards.He bit the guard's ear off and stole his sword.He killed the guard and went for the other guard.The guard shot him in his injured arm again.This caused Ramses to get enraged and lunged at the guard.He stabbed him multiple times until the guard's guts were all over him.Having finally disposed of the guards he rushed over to Anastasia and called her name.He saw she wasn't responding and kept calling to her.By this point she had lost too much blood and was dying.She told him with her dying breath to "keep going and don't give up,I love you".She caressed his face for the final time and died in his arms, along with their unborn child.Ramses broke down entirely and began screaming like a madman for 10 minutes.This is the moment which finally caused him to go insane.He decided to make the Egyptians suffer as much as they had made him suffer by taking the love of his life from him.Enraged, he stormed back to the pharoah's palace fueled by vengeance and anger.He slaughtered all of the guards and made his way to the pharoah's chambers.He walked into the Pharoah and his wife having sex.He shot the pharoah in the back and grabbed the wife and tied her to the pharoah's throne.He then tied the pharoah to the bed and made him watch as he slowly tortured and killed his wife.Ramses then decapitated the pharaoah and went back to the entrance of the palace and placed the severed head there.He then burnt the palace down.He ran back to where Anastasia's corpse was and buried her in a makeshift grave by the river.After sitting there staring at the grave for 2 hours straight, he got on the boat and set sail down the Nile.He sailed all the way down to Sudan.When he got there he began to call himself just Francis.He shut himself from the world and turned into an anti social.He tried many years to be a normal child and tried to get adopted, but no one would want to adopt him due to the several scars and burns on his body and due to his anti social personality.He stayed at the orphanage for 5 years where he was bullied and harassed constantly.He was also still dealing with Anastasia's death, and attempted to commit suicide 3 times.The first time was by hanging himself, but some older boys walked in on him and cut him down, and then beat him up and left him lying there.The second time he slit his wrists with a sharp rock, but the nurses discovered him wandering around and patched him up.The third and final time was when he jumped off the edge of the orphanage's roof, but was caught midway by some bullies.They ridiculed him and threw him into the river naked and burnt his clothes.He stayed in the river for 2 days trying to starve himself to death, but he remembered Anastasia's final words and decided he would honor her and live on.One day in the dormitories the bullies began teasing him again and kicking him and punching him.After 5 years of constant physical and psychological abuse and living with the constant reminder of Anastasia's death in his dreams, he decided he had had enough and lashed out against the bullies.He killed all of them with his bare fists and then proceeded to kill everyone else at the orphanage, babies and young children included.He then burnt the orphanage down.He realized what atrocity he had just committed and broke down crying hoping Anastasia would forgive him if she was alive.He spent the next 5 months on the move from town to town.By this point all of Ramses' sanity was long gone, so he resorted to killing people and animals to pass time.One day he was walking around and stumbled across a pedophile.The pedo tried to lure him with candy and Ramses accepted just to kill him.The pedo led him back to his place and when the pedophile took his pants off Ramses ripped the pedo's penis off and shoved it down his throat, choking him with it.Ramses then looked around and saw an ancient spellbook.He read through and discovered a spell which could grant him superhuman abilities like immortality and super strength and healing abilities.In order to cast the spell he needed to drink the blood of a virgin mixed with his blood during a solar eclipse.He set out to find a virgin and soon found a suitable candidate, which was a random 15 year old girl.He lured her by promising candy and then murdered her with a knife.He drained her blood into a bowl and mixed his own blood.He then put the mixture in a bottle to preserve it for when the solar eclipse happened.He only had to wait 3 months for the eclipse.He drank the mixture on the day of the eclipse and it caused his muscle mass to grow and to become stronger, have more endurance and most importantly, it granted him immortality and accelerated healing abilities.It wasn't conventional immortality, as he could still die but he would revive 3 seconds later.He couldn't die of old age however.WIth his newfound power he went down to the horse stables and killed all of the horses and people there.He then ate the dead people and noticed that whenever he ate them he felt sronger, so he decided to become a cannibal.He then chopped off one of the horses' heads and went to the blacksmith's shop.He murdered and raped the blacksmith and scooped the skull from the horse head so it was like a mask.He then preserved the horse head by ejaculating all over it so it wouldn't rot.He then poured hot metal on his head and instantly put on the mask after,effectively welding it onto his head forever.This not only represented a physical change for Ramses,it also symbolized the death of Ramses Mozart Francis Fitzgerald Potter Elfson Mark Suckass Ben Doverson and the birth of The Pedo God.

## Early years as Pedo God

After completing the transition into The Pedo God, he set out and murdered the entire town in one day.He would rape the people and then eat them.He then burnt the whole town down.He would do this across many towns until he got bored and decided to try different countries.He snuck on a merchant boat and sailed to Europe, where he disembarked in France and caused trouble for 50 years.After that he moved to England and stayed there for 500 years.He was captured many times and executed hundreds of times, but he would always revive due to his pedo powers.During his stay in Europe he started calling himself Pedo God and attracted many followers.He then founded the Pedo Army.He would have hundreds of Pedos kidnap and murder people and bring them to him.Sometimes he would convert them to the Pedo side, but most of the times he would have sex with them and then eat them.He acquired the stolen translator he uses to this day when he was looking for food and stumbled across a hillbilly time traveler from the year 1981.He killed the hillbilly, ate him, stole the translator and also stole the hillbillies' beer hat and decided to wear it.He still wears that exact same hat to this day.He accidentally exploded the time machine while trying to figure out how to use it.He then figured out how to program the translator and set it to Old French and later to Old English when he travelled to England.He also created Old Graps one day while raping a woman.He pulled out and ejaculated on a nearby grape which grew to human size and grew limbs.The grape was mindless however and Pedo decided he could use the entity as a commander if he gave him a mind.He then had a flashback to his childhood days when he was just Ramses, and remembered Amon, the guard who was kind to him and Anastasia.He had forgotten much of the rest due to his age and also when he poured the molten metal to weld the mask to him he had severely burnt a portion of his brain causing him to be stupider and more fucked up and to forget certain things.He set out to Egypt where Amon's mummified corpse was buried.He decided to walk there since when he tried to ride a horse the horse would get spooked and kick Pedo God in the balls.His balls would always heal.So he started walking and brought Old Graps' mindless body with him.The walk to Egypt took him 1 month.He walked back to his birth city of Luxor, which by this point was an Arab Kingdom.He arrived at the city and set out to find Amon's grave.He looked in thousands of ancient graves and pyramids, which took him another 2 months, and eventually found Amon's tomb.He broke in and stole Amon's mummified corpse and the vases in which his organs were stored.He then took out the brain and found out it was very dry and crusty.To fix it he murdered an innocent Arab man and took out the man's brain liquid and placed Amon's brain in a jar along with the random man's brain juice.He had to wait 5 more months for the brain to be hydrated again.He then installed it into the grape body and now the grape had Amon's memories but the body of a grape.He instantly tried to return to the slave stables but Pedo God explained to him what had happened during the 400 years that Amon was dead.Amon then asked what had happened to Pedo and why he looked so fucked.Pedo explained the horse mask ritual and Amon accepted it.Amon then asked about Anastasia, triggering another of Pedo God's flashbacks of his childhood.Pedo then silently led Amon to Anastasia's grave marker, which after 400 years had turned into a grassy hill with a tree on top.Amon expressed his condolences and Pedo remembered for a brief moment when he was truly happy in life, despite being a slave.He shed a single tear in Anastasia's memory but did not cry more about it.Amon asked him what had happened to him and Pedo God replied with "Ramses Mozart Francis Fitzgerald Potter Elfson Mark Suckass Ben Doverson died along with Anastasia, and Pedo God was born right after".Pedo then went back to the city and massacred everyone.Amon couldn't stand his old friend doing that and tried running away, but Pedo God caught up to him and infused Amon with Pedo essence, causing him to become more sadistic and to like children and become a cannibal.They both then raped the dead bodies and ate them and after that walked back to Pedo HQ in England, which took them a month again.

## Characteristics and Info

He is a well known inter-omniversal criminal and is wanted across the realms for counts of tax evasion, rape, manslaughter, theft, and destruction of property.He is a god, and although not as powerful as Mac, he still is a powerful being.If he gets killed, he will resurrect approximately 3 seconds after death.He also possesses superhuman strength and stamina.Due to the horse mask ritual he has a very short attention span and also forgets things rather quickly.He can also regenerate tissue and bones 50 times faster than a normal human being.Since he is a Pedo he must rape and eat people, because if he doesn’t he will go crazy and eventually starve, which will cause him to become more feral and animal like.He lures his victims by driving around in the Pussywagon and offering free candy and free sex.He then eats them and rapes them.He very rarely lets them go, and when he does he only lets females go.Due to this he is the father to over 10,000 children.He is unable to speak, and in order to communicate he uses a series of high pitched sounds which then are translated by a stolen Kappa Industries translator.The reason for this is that in order to turn into a true pedo, he had to cut off a horses head and wear it as a mask.He welded the mask to his face, and is unable to take it off.He also wears a signature beer hat he stole from the first hillbilly he killed, which was a time traveler.He suffers from severe mental retardation and stage 69 Autism, and also has AIDS.He prefers kids over adults, but he will accept adults happily.He is known to be very aggressive to people he doesn't know, and might attack on sight.He is only allies with certain people and will not attack them.These include General Kilgore, Lieutenant Carter, and his fellow pedos.

His primary weapon is an enchanted stone hatchet which he made himself when he was a child.He enchanted it using his own semen and the blood of a virgin.The axe will grant the user superhuman endurance and stamina when killing someone with it.Pedo God also uses vehicles to traverse the universe:His primary vehicle is The Pussywagon, a custom pickup truck. He also uses a modified Batmobile which he stole from Batman and repainted pink.He also uses his custom Faggio Mod and a Hot Rod Blazer.All of these vehicles have the ability to travel across realms.He used to own a regular Faggio, but upgraded to the mod variant because he wasn’t getting enough pusi and kids.