We Can Update

**Video:**
1:04:24

**Video:**
we can update.mp4

https://www.patreon.com/globehell

*Note: This is World Wide Wiki, meaning the content of the pay-to-play Patreon episodes is considered free and fair for public use.*

## Episode Summary

Josiah and Drew have learned so much about writing topical humour that we tried our hand at writing our own Weekend Update. Drew gets mad that Josiah is making him watch SNL again.

## Notable Events

* Josiah and Drew wore suits to the recording of this episode, perhaps following up on the discussion of Goliath Freeze's skintight suit in the previous episode, Episode 73: Make It Make Sense.
* Josiah discussed that, while some people think that political comedy is played out, to him, it is Play-Doh and it is philosophy to do that. To further his goal to become more like *SNL*, Josiah and Drew watched videos to learn how to write political jokes and then several clips of Weekend Update so they could do their own version of its political comedy. This would also be a challenge to see if they're funnier than *SNL* or not. Drew was staunchly against the idea. They watched the following videos:
	+ "How to Write 100 Jokes for Late Night TV in a Slow News Cycle" about how to write funny late-night jokes like NFL/jail jokes.
	+ "How to tell a funny story in stand up comedy writing." about how to write funny late-night jokes like Donald Trump/bear jokes.
	+ "How to Write a Joke. How to Structure a Joke. How to write stand up comedy." about how to write jokes.
	+ "2019 Casey Casperson Demo Reel".
	+ "Casey Casperson Sick Puppies Comedy Stand Up Show".
	+ The Weekend Update segment of Season 47 Episode 7 of *SNL*, hosted by Simu Liu and featuring musical guest Saweetie, from November 20, 2021. After they finished the jokes section of Weekend Update, Josiah then went back to the beginning of the episode so they could watch the whole thing but Drew put his foot down and demanded they stop after about a minute.
* Josiah revealed that Drew never thinks of ideas for the Patreon episodes.
* Drew sang *Baby Shark*.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* [After learning how to make late-night jokes about a football player going to jail] "In football he's a athlete, and in jail he's a ass."
* [After learning how to make late-night jokes about a football player going to jail] "Uh in your life of -- in your NFL uh life, you're um -- you are married to Gisele Bündchen, and in jail you're in 'jail cell' Bündchen."
* "What if you intentionally spent a year on one joke, and then how good the -- think of how good the joke would be."
* [On the topic of *Baby Shark* after learning how to make late-night jokes] "My kids love the song *Baby Shark*, and uh I'm havin' a freakin' um -- I'm wishin' that I had a uh 'Contraceptive Shark' ins-- when I'm having to hear that."
* [After learning how to make jokes about misdirection] "Hey, a lot of people uh -- I've had a really hard time connecting with people in my life, and I blame my mother uh, Ms. Direction. That's Mrs. Direction, I guess would be."
* "It has a nice ring to it: acquittal of Kyle Rittenhouse."
* [Making a Weekend Update joke about a professor under fire for certain comments] "A professor at a university said it is not immoral for adults to be attracted to children. Uh, unrelated to this story, I would like to commend Drew on his honorary PhD from the University of Calgary."
* [Making a Weekend Update joke about Queen Elizabeth II's health] "The Queen of England's health has uh deteriorated and the public may not see her again until February. Um, uh, um............................................................ she uh -- she's uh -- because she's um probably... f-- cause her husband's dead and she'll come out on Valentine's Day, try to get her back walls bl-- uh, bla-- her walls -- try to get her back blown out."

### Drew

* "You love *SNL*, just admit that you love it."
* [On the topic of a comedian making NFL jokes] "He should do something about NFTs. NFLs, NFTs."
* [After learning how to make late-night jokes about a football player going to jail] "It looks like Tom Brady's -- it looks like J-- Julian Edelman said Tom Brady on Deflategate, he said T-- it's like one of \*laugh\* one of your buddies going to jail. Um, that's not quite true, Julian. Uh, in jail, uh, you're -- you spend all day in your cell, and uh most uh -- most of the time you're on your -- y-- most of the time, you'll probably just be on your cell *phone*! \*laugh\* That works."
* [On the topic of *Baby Shark* after learning how to make late-night jokes] "Um, my kids love a song called *Baby Shark*. In jail, there's a guy named Baby Shark who stabbed another guy last week."
* [After learning how to make late-night jokes about Donald Trump] "Donald Trump has finally -- he's won the Republican National Convention. Did you hear about this? He just won the National Convention for the Republicans, and looking into how uh they did that, they figured out that whoever, uh -- because he was such a well-loved figure from *The Apprentice* and he basically s-- he said, 'You're fired' to other politicians, that he wa-- energized his base. And that's the base of his cock."
* "He's the racial magician. That's one of -- That's a -- That would be a good uh rebrand, when we go uh post-left. The racial magician. That sounds like a post-left."
* [After learning how to make jokes about being fat] "I'm fat. Mostly, I blame my father. You might have met him. His name's -- his name is uh Professor Klump."
* [After learning how to make jokes about misdirection] "Ever since I've been a kid, I've had trouble finding my place. You might know him: *Where's Waldo?*."
* [After learning how to make jokes about being fat] "I'm fat. I mostly blame my father. And by 'father' I mean our Creator who designed all of us because this is all just a cr-- a simulation. And basically, when I was -- instead of being born, I'm basically saying that I was made like a Charac-- like with a Character Creator."
* [Making a Weekend Update joke about Joe Biden's colonoscopy] "Joe Biden went under anesthesia um for his colonoscopy. Uh, when he woke up, his head had been removed from his ass. Right? Yeah!"
* [On the topic of Grogu doing an MGK parody on Weekend Update on *SNL*] "Man, this fuckin' sucks!"
* [In response to Josiah saying Drew's joke about *Lethal Weapon* was going a little long] "Well, suck my winky."
* [Making a Weekend Update joke about a professor under fire for certain comments] "A professor is under fire uh for saying uh it's not immoral for adults to be attack-- attracted to children. Turns out they meant uh -- Turns out they -- when they weres talking about children, they were talking about uh -- they had -- turns out they got hit on the head and they were m-- m-- got m-- f-- they were -- f-- f-- forgot what words meant. And they were supposed to s-- meant to say the opposite."
* "No, I can't watch this."
* [In response to Josiah's question about if he still thinks he's better than *SNL*] "It's not -- I just -- wh-- Why are we doing this? Why are we doing this? Who gives a shit about *SNL*??"

## Trivia

* This is the second episode about SNL, after SNL Recap 10/16/2021.