St. Anger

**Todd (VO):** Today's episode is bought to you by audible.com. These episodes take a lot of research. One of the many books I used as a resource for this one was *[superimposes the cover of...]* *Into the Black: The Inside Story of Metallica*, which is a great book you can find on Audible. And if you, like me, have found that your attention span has just been *completely* obliterated during the pandemic and haven't had the ability to read full books, I've found that audiobooks have *really* helped me keep my focus and actually finish things. If you'd like to try it out for yourself, visit *[white text appears on the bottom that says...]* audible.com/toddintheshadows or text "TODDINTHESHADOWS" to 500-500. Again, that's audible.com/toddintheshadows or text "TODDINTHESHADOWS" to 500-500. Thank you, and now on with the show.

*We cut to a black screen, then the episode plays*

> *Clip of Metallica concert footage in* Some Kind of Monster
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**Todd (VO):** What you are watching, is of course, the final scene of *Some Kind of Monster,* the legendary, mystique-destroying documentary detailing the making of Metallica's eighth album, *St. Anger*.

> **James Hetfield:** What've you been doing? Picking at me all night!
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Even in the long, proud history of unflattering rockumentaries, there may be no film that has...

**Todd:** ...been more revealing or more embarrassing to a band.

**Todd (VO):** Metallica were *gods* among men. The biggest and best heavy metal band in history. And this movie instantly turned their perception from hardcore legends to spoiled, dysfunctional rich assholes.

> **James:** Those things we throw out to each other are complete bullshit.
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> **Lars Ulrich:** I think it's fucking stock! What...which part of that is unclear to you?! I think it sounds stock to my ears!
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We see them whine, bicker, argue...and then hire a therapist so they can whine, bicker, and argue in touchy-feely language.

> **Lars:** You use the word "control" and "manipulation" a lot. I realize now that I barely knew you before. *[gets in James Hetfield's face]* FUCK!
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**Todd:** But it ends on a triumphant note.

**Todd (VO):** Despite all the chaos, we're told, it all comes together at the end with Metallica restored whole, productive, and once again dominating the charts.

> *Clip of Metallica signing autographs*
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> **Metallica Fan:** I love you.
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> **James:** I love you, too.
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**Todd (VO):** It is, to put it mildly, a *diplomatic* epilogue that leaves out one crucial detail.

**Todd:** The album was *unreal* levels of bad.

> *Video for Metallica - "St. Anger"*
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> **Critic:** It's like the worst production job I've ever heard on any album.
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**Todd (VO):** If you are even a little bit of a music person, it should not be news to you that *[screenshots of bad reviews for...] St. Anger* is not a *[...and a Pitchfork review showing a 0.8 score]* well-liked album. In fact, I feel real trepidation coming into this, 'cause *St. Anger* is not just a bad album...

**Todd:** It may be the biggest bad album of all time!

**Todd (VO):** Not necessarily the worst, but the most infamous. Like, what else would it be? *[album covers for...]* Bob Dylan's *Self Portrait?* Lou Reed's *Metal Machine Music? The Greatest Hits of Chris Gaines?* Those weren't #1 in 30 countries!

**Todd:** If you just stop people on the street and ask them to name a bad album...

> *Clip from* Family Feud...
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**Todd (VO):** We surveyed a hundred people. Top five answers on the board, name a bad album!

> **Lady:** *[after buzzing in]* Uh... *St. Anger!*
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> *...and the board reveals* St. Anger *as the top answer*
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**Todd:** *[clapping]* Good answer! Good answer!

> *Clip of more concert footage from* Some Kind of Monster
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**Todd (VO):** There's tons of bad music out there, but none with this level of attention. It's the only bad album in history that was so big, that there was a *[images of movie poster for* Some Kind of Monster*...]* documentary about the making of the album, and a *[...and front cover of* Metallica: This Monster Lives*]* book about the making of the documentary.

> *Clip of Metallica - "The Unnamed Feeling"*
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> **James:** Then the unnamed feeling
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I was there, I remembered the pre-release. That album was hyped up to the moon. *St. Anger* going #1 isn't a triumph, it's a disaster. Metallica was so big that everyone bought and listened to that record on name recognition alone, just to find out that they'd bought a grating, dissonant, unlistenable bag of emotional vomit.

> *Clip of "St. Anger"*
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> **James:** Saint Anger 'round my neck
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**Todd:** One person who did not listen to *St. Anger... [raises hand]* is me.

**Todd (VO):** I was driven away by the toxic buzz, and I just never returned. And I assume there were a lot of people like me...

**Todd:** ...because Metallica was, at that point, bigger than metal. Bigger than *rock* even.

> *Clip of MTV live performance of "Enter Sandman"*
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**Todd (VO):** They were music for the masses, for people who probably didn't even listen to any other heavy metal, who had no Pantera or Megadeth records. They were brought on by shit like *[clip of Metallica performing...]* "Until It Sleeps" and "Nothing Else Matters". Not the earlier, harder stuff like the full eight minutes of "Harvester of Sorrow".

**Todd:** So let me stand in for them today, the normie, basic bitch Metallica fan, and join me on my journey.

**Todd (VO):** An angry, badly mixed journey....through the church of St. Anger.

**Todd:** *[does a James Hetfield singing impression]* "We're off to Anger, Anger Land!" *[laughs; normal]* This is Trainwreckords.

> *Trainwreckords intro, followed by album cover for* St. Anger
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> *Clip of 2003 MTV VMAs...*
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> **Chris Rock:** Give it up for Metallica!
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> *...where Metallica perform "Are You Gonna Go My Way"*
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**Todd (VO):** This is Metallica closing out the 2003 MTV VMAs. *[pause]* For some reason, they open up their set by covering Lenny *fucking* Kravitz.

> *Snippet of guitar solo segueing to "Smells Like Teen Spirit"...*
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In fact, they blow through a whole bunch of other famous riffs from different artists.

> *...and to "Beat It"*
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**Todd (VO):** Odd choice, but it does make sense. They needed to start with this medley of crowd pleasers...

**Todd:** ...'cause at the end of this, they were gonna have to play one of the new songs.

> *Clip of Metallica performing "Frantic" after said medley*
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**Todd (VO):** And they better get the audience in a good mood beforehand, 'cause they weren't gonna be afterwards.

**Todd:** I know I have a vague and inconsistent definition for what qualifies for this show, but I always wanted Trainwreckords to represent the end of something in an artist's career. Not the end of their hit-making years, then the end of their glory era. The end of their relevance.

**Todd (VO):** A lot of people will tell you that Metallica *never* had an album like that. They've had peaks and valleys, sure, but never a career ender. After all, Metallica are still huge for a metal band. They're one of the top touring acts around, their albums still sell, *[clip of trailer for...]* and their follow-up, *Death Magnetic*, washed the taste of *St. Anger* right out of everyone's mouth. Like, that was a real comeback, right?

**Todd:** *[beat]* Was it?

> *Concert footage of Metallica performing "For Whom the Bell Tolls"*
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**Todd (VO):** Let this be *entirely clear.* Before *St. Anger*, Metallica was not big for a metal band; they were *big.*

**Todd:** I heard "Enter Sandman" playing at Walmart.

> *Clip of Metallica interview on...*
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**Todd (VO):** I remember seeing them get repeatedly voted onto *Total Request Live!* Yeah, you'd see Lars Ulrich on *TRL* next to Britney Spears and Eminem and Korn and the Backstreet Boys. They were *that* level of popular before *St. Anger.*

**Todd:** Whereas I haven't heard a *single* thing they released afterwards in the *[air quote]* wild.

> *Clip of promotional ad for* St. Anger
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**Todd (VO):** So even though they tried to frame it as a comeback... No, I don't buy it. For the vast majority of listeners, myself included, *St. Anger* forever put Metallica into the past tense.

**Todd:** My only experience with *St. Anger* is that...

> *Another clip from...*
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**Todd (VO):** ...I watched *Some Kind of Monster* way back in college well after the fact. And if I had any opinion on what little music I heard in it through my dinky laptop speakers...

**Todd:** ...I don't remember it.

**Todd (VO):** The documentary tells you a lot about Metallica as people, but not really that much about them as musicians or the album or what it is.

**Todd:** That is something I am going to find out for myself...right now. So here we go. Here is my first listen of *St. Anger.*

> *Video for "Frantic" starts*
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**Todd:** *[beat]* Do...do you hear that?

*\*Donk\* flashes across the screen to the beat of "Frantic" several times*

(NOTE: Todd uses the "donks" when discussing the drumming on other songs mentioned in the review)

**Todd:** What the fuck is that sound?

> **James:** My lifestyle determines my death style
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> My lifestyle determines my death style
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**Todd (VO):** Uh...

**Todd:** Really proud of that line, huh?

> **James:** Frantic, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick tock
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> Frantic, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick tock
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**Todd:** Okay, what the fuck is *that* sound?!

> **James:** My lifestyle determines my death style
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**Todd (VO):** *[sighs]* Okay.

**Todd:** My first impression is that the production is just really tinny and dry.

**Todd (VO):** And lead singer, James Hetfield, is doing some kind of weird scream I don't recognize at all, and...judging by the sound of it, Lars Ulrich has replaced his snare drum with an *[image of...]* oil barrel for some reason.

**Todd:** Is it gonna sound like that for the entire album?

> *Clip from* Some Kind of Monster *showing the band practicing in their garage*
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**Todd:** Uhhhh...

*As the song continues playing, \*donk\*, \*clonk\*, and \*bonk\* flash to the drum beat*

**Todd:** Oh, boy.

**Todd (VO):** I don't wanna belabor the point about the drums, 'cause it's always the first thing anyone mentions about *St. Anger.* I will say that the drums are not actually the worst thing about it.

**Todd:** But it's definitely the most confusing.

**Todd (VO):** Like, it's obviously not a good idea. And it would be just so easy to not do. Just someone, *anyone*, say, "Hey, Lars. Instead of a bunch of *[image of...]* upturned paint cans, why don't you just use actual drums?!"

**Todd:** Like, more recently, just for fun...

> *Montage clips from Youtube videos: "Legendary Metallica songs but all drums are St Anger Snares"; "METALLICA - Frantic - Drum Cover (GARBAGE CAN LID AS SNARE!!)"*
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**Todd (VO):** ...people have started dubbing *St. Anger's* detuned snare into all of Metallica's classic tracks. Even 18 years later, it's still meme status terrible.

**Todd:** In fact, I would go so far as to say that the snare is to *St. Anger* what...

> *Montage clips from* Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
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**Todd (VO):** *...*Jar-Jar is to *The Phantom Menace*. Like, it's obviously terrible just in concept, and everybody hates it. Arguably over-hates it, so that now hating it is a tedious cliché. 'Cause it's not like removing it would magically make the project good.

**Todd:** *[pause]* But it's always there.

> *Clips from* Some Kind of Monster *are intercut with brief clips of Jar-Jar Binks*
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**Todd (VO):** Always making things worse. And whenever you think it might actually start being decent... *[another Jar-Jar clip interrupts the start of the lightsaber duel with Darth Maul]* there it is. Ruining the moment.

**Todd:** But hey, so what the production sucks? That's not new to Metallica.

> *Video for Metallica - "One"*
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**Todd (VO):** 1988's *[album cover for...] ...And Justice For All* is one of the most beloved metal albums of all time even though it famously sounds like total butt! *[clips on Metallica performing on their World Magnetic tour...]* And all the fans said that their comeback album, *Death Magnetic*, sounded better on *[...and...]* *Guitar Hero* than it did on the actual CD.

**Todd:** If the songs are there, then the fans will put up with some iffy mixing choices. And they did not put up with this.

> *Clip of "Sad but True"*
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**Todd (VO):** The Metallica story, especially during this period, has been so firmly etched into rock 'n roll myth that I almost don't wanna get into it. But I realize that not everyone was living and breathing 'Tallica in the early 2000s, so...

**Todd:** ...here's a quick rundown of where they were.

**Todd (VO):** After being the kings of the thrash underground in the '80s, they aimed for *[clip of Metallica - "The Unforgiven"]* mainstream success in the '90s, prompting accusations of selling out but becoming one of the biggest bands around. However, around the turn of Y2K, they hit a low point. *[clip of news coverage of the Napster scandal on Channel 4 News]* Lars Ulrich declares war on MP3s, one of the most unpopular moves a rockstar has *ever* made.

**Todd:** And if you need to know why, enjoy this...

> *Clip of...*
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**Todd (VO):** ...sketch from the 2000 VMAs.

> **Shawn Wayans:** We're not stealing, okay? We're just *[air quote]* sharing with each other, you know?
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> **Lars:** So it's like if I take this soda can here... *[slaps a Napster sticker on a Pepsi can]* I'm starting to like this whole sharing thing. *[slaps another Napster logo on Shawn's computer screen]* Hey, boys!
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> **Shawn:** Oh, man!
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> *Some members of Metallica proceed to take several of Shawn's things out of his room*
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> **Lars:** *[puts Napster sticker on girl's ass]* Napster: Sharing's only fun when it's not your stuff.
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**Todd:** *[pause]* How could Lars have lost that PR war?

> *Clip of Metallica performing on the 2000 "Summer Sanitarium" tour*
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**Todd (VO):** The bad press gets worse when bass player, Jason Newsted, fed up with being treated like dirt for the past fifteen years, abruptly leaves the band. Metallica attempts to put out the chaos by making a new record, but that also seems to fail when James Hetfield disappears into rehab and doesn't come back for nearly a year, leaving the band in limbo and on the verge of collapse.

> *Montage clips of* Some Kind of Monster
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When he *does* return, the band clashes some more when Hetfield feels like the band isn't respecting his new sober lifestyle and schedule. Especially Lars, who brought in a giant *[image of metal...]* beer keg to play drums on. *[brief clip of Lars drumming with a turned beer keg superimposed over his drums]*

**Todd:** So with all of that in the backstory...

**Todd (VO):** ...it's not surprising that they made the most abrasive and difficult album of their career.

But that's what they intended. And in the movie, you can tell they're hyped for it. You can see their manager being really excited about the new direction of Metallica. So why isn't it good?

**Todd:** Well, as you see in the documentary...

**Todd (VO):** ...most of the music was written after James exited rehab, so a lot of it is him grappling with his addictions and especially his anger problems. Hence the name of the album.

**Todd:** In fact, let's listen to the title track and lead-off single, "St. Anger".

> *Clip of "St. Anger"*
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> **James:** Saint Anger 'round my neck
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> Saint Anger 'round my neck
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**Todd (VO):** "Saint Anger around my neck," is a reference to the *[image of a pair of...]* St. Christopher medallions people wear.

> **James:** Anger 'round my neck
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I guess the idea was that instead of Christopher, the patron saint of protection, James is imagining...like, a patron saint of anger.

**Todd:** You could call him... Saint...Anger.

> **James:** (You flush it out, you flush it out) He never gets respect
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**Todd (VO):** He doesn't get respect 'cause it's a dumb idea!

**Todd:** Like, the saint of anger, like...

**Todd (VO):** ...it's an idea that never comes back. It doesn't get fleshed out, it never comes together in the song.

> **James:** You flush it out, you flush it out
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What are you flushing out? The anger? The respect?! None of this adds up to anything!

> **James:** I'm madly in anger with you
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**Todd (VO):** I think it'll serve us here to pull back and take a look at James Hetfield, who by this point in Metallica's history, had become the stern, unpleasable dad of heavy metal. He likes *[images of James partaking in...]* hunting, football, cars, and country music.

> *Another clip of therapy session in* Some Kind of Monster
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I've read up on the intra-band conflicts and all the other members sound like rebellious kids acting out against him.

**Todd:** Even Lars, who's a co-leader of the band! *[image of Lars and Kirk Hammett touching tongues]* Him and Kirk would act all gay and shit, 'cause they knew it would piss him off. *[clip of interview with...]* Newsted quit because he couldn't take Hetfield's control freak nature. It's all just a "you can't tell me what to do, dad" feel from all of this. And...you know, I think we all have that moment where we realize our parents aren't gods.

**Todd (VO):** Like, you saw one of them cry or something like that, and you realize they're just...people. And it's just a very unsettling and destabilizing feeling.

**Todd:** On *St. Anger*, I have never been more acutely aware of James Hetfield as a human being, and *I hate it.*

> *Clip of live performance of "Battery"*
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> **James:** Cannot kill the battery
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**Todd (VO):** This is *James Hetfield!* The gnarly, battle-scarred heavy metal badass! James blew up for you! He ignited into a fire inferno for you people!

**Todd:** HE HAS FEELINGS NOW?!

> *Montage clips of James Hetfield in* Some Kind of Monster
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**Todd (VO):** In fact, it was just shocking to me to watch the movie and see him put on a pair of grandpa glasses that make him look less like the guy from Metallica and more like a guy who writes about Metallica in some nerdy webzine.

**Todd:** He's always been just this unstoppable screaming beast-man to me!

> *Video for "Nothing Else Matters"*
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**Todd (VO):** Yeah, it's not like he's never written personal lyrics before. Like, "Nothing Else Matters" is a fucking love song to his wife, but I dunno. I just never thought about him that way.

**Todd:** This album *forces you* to think about it.

> *Clip of "The Unnamed Feeling"*
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> **James:** Die a little more
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**Todd (VO):** Not only with the lyrics, but also, his singing is *[clip of "Frantic"]* just really high up in the mix with no reverb or larynx, so it's like he's right there shouting in your ear. And also, he pushes himself way out of his range.

> *Clip of Metallica recording "Frantic"*
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> **James:** Frantic, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick tock
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> **Bob Rock:** Cut. You went into another voice there, dude.
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*[sarcastically]* Yeah, you sure did.

**Todd:** *[sighs]* Look, I don't mean to insult a man...

**Todd (VO):** ...who was, at that period, working very hard to purge himself of his most toxic instincts and trying to really work through some hard issues...

**Todd:** But does it work as music?

**Todd (VO):** I've talked a lot about the negative reaction to this album, but I feel like I also have to acknowledge the substantial fandom for *St. Anger*.

**Todd:** Or Stanger, as they call it. I dunno.

**Todd (VO):** Like, it is not even remotely hard to find *St. Anger* apologists. *[screenshot of Metallica subreddit]* On Metallica's forum on Reddit, there's an actual tag for the "Weekly St. Anger defense thread".

**Todd:** And I *do* get it.

> *Footage of the band performing on their Madly in Anger with the World Tour*
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**Todd (VO):** 'Cause it's supposed to be difficult to listen to, right? This is isn't a Celine Dion record, it's metal! A lot of fans were upset when Metallica went mainstream, so to them, *St. Anger* is a return to form.

> *Clip from* Metallica: Kill 'Em All to St. Anger (2006)
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> **Joel McIver:** And all in all, the album sounded...deliberately unsophisticated. This-this divided the fanbase. Some people admire the fact that it was a deliberate hark back...
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And I can see it at least.

**Todd:** On *paper*, it's really easy to defend.

> *Clip of* VH1: Behind the Music *interview with Metallica*
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**Todd (VO):** Just hearing how they conceptualized it, it sounds like Metallica was trying to make their *[clip of Nirvana - "Heart-Shaped Box" over album cover for...] In Utero.* Just this *[clip of Nirvana performing "Breed" on* Live and Loud*]* raw, abrasive, uncommercial, uncompromising scream of pain from a struggling addict.

> **Kurt Cobain:** I...
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Okay, well...

**Todd:** James Hetfield is not Kurt Cobain.

> *Video for "Frantic"*
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**Todd (VO):** He's a man of many talents, but the voice of a generation he is not.

> **James:** You live it or lie it, you live it or lie it
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**Todd:** You live it or lie...What?!

> *Clip of Metallica - "Dirty Window"*
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> **James:** Projector, rejector, infector
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**Todd (VO):** James has never been this masterful lyricist or anything. A lot of the time, he's ham-fisted and clunky.

> *Clip of live performance of "Master of Puppets"*
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> **James:** Just a rhyme without a reason
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It has *always* bothered me that the best song from their best album has the *worst ever* rhyme of "reason" with "season", a rhyme that usually sucks to begin with!

> **James:** Now your life is out of season
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*Todd groans with disgust*

> *Video for Metallica - "Invisible Kid"*
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**Todd (VO):** But more importantly, James writes songs about death and war. He's not prepared to write songs about his inner child. At least not while sounding like James Hetfield!

> **James:** Invisible kid
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> Never see what he did
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> Got stuck where he hid
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> Fallen through the grid
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> Invisible kid
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> Got a place of his own
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> Where he'll never be known
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**Todd:** *[singing with a James Hetfield impression] "I'm a lonely little boy and I need to be loved! Dad was real mean and I need a hug-ah!"*

> *Video for Metallica - "Enter Sandman"*
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**Todd (VO):** *[normal]* Whatever James' issues as a lyricist, it's *never* been a problem before. The second verse of "Enter Sandman", their biggest hit, is *awful*. But no one cares.

> **James:** And of things that will bite, yeah
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Well, in that case, no one even noticed 'cause he's incomprehensible. But most of the time, the band rocks hard enough that he gets a pass.

**Todd:** And the music *does not* give the lyrics any help here.

**Todd (VO):** I'm not gonna go through this album song by song because I literally cannot tell any of them apart.

> *Clip of Metallica - "My World" (???)*
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> **James:** "Mama, why's it raining in my room?"
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They all seem to chug at the same tempo, and then they'll thrash and bash double time, yet somehow it all seems like the same speed.

> *Snippet of drum solo on "My World" but...*
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*is this even a different song? idk*

**Todd (VO):** There are no hooks, there are no memorable riffs.

**Todd:** All of this sounds just...

> **Lars:** I think it's fucking stock! What...which part of that is unclear to you?! I think it sounds stock to my ears!
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**Todd:** Exactly. *[shrugs]*

**Todd (VO):** In fact, Lars' shitty drums makes sense if you realize that even though it's a bad idea, it's still an idea. Like, why *not* make the drums sound like a trash can?

**Todd:** It'll be *edgy* and *hardcore!* And, you can play along at home! *[bangs on a pan with a wooden spoon]* Look, everyone! I'm Lars Ulrich!

**Todd (VO):** It's an idea that makes about as much sense as replacing the percussion with squeaky dog toys. But when you have no other ideas, you will cling to the one *bad* idea you have like a life raft. They've got nothing else.

**Todd:** One shocking thing about the album is that there are zero guitar solos on here. 'Cause...

> *Clip of another studio session on* Some Kind of Monster
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**Todd (VO):** ...I guess they were not in style anymore with the kids these days. In the movie, you can see Kirk Hammett, whose literal *only job* is to provide guitar solos, really objecting to this.

> **Lars:** The idea of the guitar solo as we have known it...maybe being something that was a little outdated.
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> **Kirk Hammett:** If you don't play a guitar solo in one of these songs, that dates it to this period. I think that's stupid, and I think it's totally trendy.
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Okay, well there are two points here.

**Todd:** Without Kirk's solos, yes, something definitely feels missing.

**Todd (VO):** But as for Kirk's charge that they're gonna sound like they're trend-chasing... *[pause]* No, I don't really think that's true.

**Todd:** I guess some parts...

> *Montage clips of System of a Down - "Chop Suey!"; Disturbed - "Down with the Sickness"*
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**Todd (VO):** ...in the album do sound a little like the newer metal bands of the day, but...

**Todd:** ...not really.

**Todd (VO):** Most nu metal bands didn't sound like this.

**Todd:** *Nothing* sounds like this!

> *Video for Metallica - "Some Kind of Monster"*
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**Todd (VO):** The lack of solos is *really* crushing, 'cause the songs are so long and the album is *so long.*

> **James:** Some kind of monster
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Like, here's "Some Kind of Monster", the song that named the movie. And it sure is some kind of monster. Some bloated, fat, stupid monster plodding across the landscape. It's eight minutes long and it feels like eight *days*. *[clip of earlier '80s concert where Metallica performs...]* Like, yeah, their classic songs like "Master of Puppets" were long, too, but...

**Todd:** "Master of Puppets" had...*parts!*

**Todd (VO):** *Identifiable parts.* It had a new hook every couple minutes. *[clip of "Some Kind of Monster"]* This song has *zero* hooks, so there's *zero* reason for it to be this long!

**Todd:** There's zero reason for the *album* to be this long! *[screenshot of Wikipedia article for* St. Anger *with the length circled in red]* 75 minutes?! You couldn't make *any* cuts?! *"Purify"* had to be heard?!

> *Clip of Metallica - "Purify"*
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> **James:** Pure if I... can't you help me?
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> Pure if I...won't you help
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**Todd (VO):** This is widely considered the worst song on the album, which is to say the worst song they ever made. It is quite bad and Hetfield is *really* phoning it in.

**Todd:** But it's only barely worse than anything else on here.

> *Clip of...*
>
>

**Todd (VO):** Meanwhile, one of the more liked album cuts appears to be something called, "Sweet Amber".

> **James:** Wash your back so you don't stab mine
>
>

> Get in bed with your own kind
>
>

I might like that song more if I hadn't seen the movie...

**Todd:** ...where they show you...

**Todd (VO):** ...that it was inspired by Metallica's resentment about having to record radio promos to get airplay.

> **James:** Just to make...them happy?
>
>

> **Peter Mensch:** *[on the phone]* Yes, that's exactly what they're doing, and...
>
>

> **James:** I understand the "wash their back, you'll wash mine" thing. Wash my...I'll wash your back so you don't stab mine! That's insanity. We're gonna hurt you 'cause we didn't get something.
>
>

**Todd:** SHOOT THE PROMOS, YOU SPOILED BABIES!

> **James:** Then she squeezes tighter
>
>

**Todd (VO):** I'm sorry, nothing kills a song for me quicker than knowing it's about industry bullshit.

**Todd:** On the other hand...

**Todd (VO):** ...even though the ask is *so small...*

**Todd:** ...I do get that...

**Todd (VO):** ...it's frustrating to work so hard to be this big and still not get to call your own shots. Maybe they *should* be angry.

**Todd:** Especially considering that radio didn't play the album anyway!

> *Clip of interview with...*
>
>

**Todd (VO):** Producer, Bob Rock, sniffed at radio like, "Oh, they only want Creed and Nickelback right now."

**Todd:** Yes, the radio sucks, it always has.

**Todd (VO):** But this is an angry, aggressive metal album about struggling with one's emotions...at a time when *[album covers for* Break the Cycle *by...]* Staind and *[... and self-titled albums by, repsectively,...]* Trapt and Three Days Grace were scoring big hits. *This* should have been a slam dunk. It could've easily been a big radio smash, and it wasn't 'cause it was intentionally designed not to.

**Todd:** You can't make the most unmusical album of your career, and then be all *aggrieved* that it's not getting played next to *[image of promotional cover for...]* Hoobastank! By the way, it is *so* weird that this is by Bob Rock.

> *Clip of Bob Rock meeting with Metallica on* Some Kind of Monster
>
>

**Todd (VO):** Like, Bob Rock is not just the producer on this album. He subs in as the bass player. This is the guy who turned Metallica into mainstream superstars. *[brief clips of The Cult - "Fire Woman"...]* He's a guy who knows how to make *[...Mötley Crüe - "Dr. Feelgood"...] anything* sound good. *[...and Simple Plan - "Welcome to My Life"]* Even when he works with *shitty* bands, he turns them into amazing-sounding shitty bands.

**Todd:** Where did he fail here?

**Todd (VO):** Like, Bob blames the drums on Lars, who thought they sounded great. But Bob Rock is well known as a guy who is *not* afraid to tell bands their work is shit and come back with something better.

> *Clip of Metallica recording sessions from 1991*
>
>

> **Bob:** Cut to the chase and fucking play, okay?
>
>

> **Kirk:** Alright, man!
>
>

> **Bob:** Now that you've, you know, warmed up.
>
>

**Todd:** So why didn't he say something here?

> *Clip of recording session with Bob Rock in* Some Kind of Monster
>
>

**Todd (VO):** Like, even if he was onboard with the whole "unpolished garage band" idea, he should've been able to step back at some point and say, "Okay, this experiment is not working."

**Todd:** Well, I found a quote that said...

**Todd (VO):** ...he approached the album not as Metallica's producer, but as their friend.

**Todd:** And that makes the whole album make sense.

**Todd (VO):** *St. Anger* is not a good album because the focus wasn't to make a good album. It was to keep the band together long enough...

**Todd:** ...to make *an* album.

**Todd (VO):** James' lyrics are first draft, and the drums are shit, and the riffs are shit, and the mixing is shit because it just needed to *get done.*

**Todd:** So with that said, why don't we just skip to the end?

> *Clip of...*
>
>

**Todd (VO):** This is the album closer, "All Within My Hands".

> *Snippet of yet another drum solo with yet more \*donks\**
>
>

**Todd:** *[clearly annoyed]* How long is this? *[checks the song length on Spotify]* Eight minutes, huh?

> **James:** All within my hands
>
>

> Beware
>
>

**Todd:** You know what? Why don't we just skip this, too?

> *Video for "St. Anger"*
>
>

**Todd (VO):** I swear to God, I gave this album a fair shake. But this is a record that is *exactly* as bad as its reputation suggests. And to everyone who likes it for its raw emotion...

**Todd:** ...I'll admit that it makes it unique, but it doesn't make it rise above the level of a curiosity.

**Todd (VO):** It is an artless, ugly, and creatively exhausted album. And the *only* thing you can really say for it...

**Todd:** ...is that it kept the band together.

**Todd (VO):** They were going through therapy, and *St. Anger* seems like it was also a therapy session. And like most therapy sessions, it should've stayed private, but it was cathartic and it was necessary. *St. Anger,* for all its faults, kept them together long enough to survive, *[brief clips of Metallica performing live]* to keep kicking ass on tour, and performing and recording new music afterwards that...even if it isn't exactly as good as the classics, it's at least good enough to keep them from being total embarrassments.

**Todd:** *[pause]* Except for *Lulu*. But that is a story for another day. Peace. *[picks up pan and spoon, while singing "Frantic" like James Hetfield] My lifestyle determines my death style! My lifestyle...*

*Gets up and leaves*

> *Video for "St. Anger" ends*
>
>

*Ending music: Todd plays "St. Anger" on piano*

***THE END***

***"St. Anger" is owned by Elektra Records***

***This video is owned by me***

***THANK YOU TO THE LOYAL PATRONS!!***