recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Loving the Bad Man (GAM019)

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Loving the Bad Man*** starts out as your typical romantic comedy about a woman who's *not* a sexual assault victim, but then her… status on that changes, and we get an interesting moral commentary on that issue. I don't want to spoil it, so I won't say whether the movie lands on the pro-rapist or the anti-rapist side, but the movie takes one of those two stances.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christan cinema in an effort to find the worst, which… we may have just done.

### **How Bad Was It?**

This movie was like someone from *The Purge* finished raping and murdering a family, but then he grabbed their camcorder, and made a movie to prove that what he had done was okay. If everyone in this movie was at knife-point and got raped in between takes, it makes sense, but because I'm assuming they didn't—I didn't hear anything like that happening to Stephen Baldwin on the news—so… [it doesn't make sense].

### **Notes**

* Check out Tom and Cecil on *Cognitive Dissonance* and GAM sister show *Citation Needed*
* While the original theatrical poster didn't have Stephen Baldwin on it, the DVD cover does, so *clearly* that's the definitive version.

### **Jokes**

* "Well, I had a moment where I was like 'What a weird way to stage a rape. They must not have talked to any rape victims when they made this movie', and then I was like 'Well, of course they didn't talk to any rape victims, cause if they had that person would have *murdered* them so they couldn't have made this fucking movie!' Oh, you're making a movie? Oh, okay—here, come here—just put your head right in the car door, and... slam it! Slam, slam, slam, slam, slam, and… slam." (32:44)
* "No one is going to listen to this, guys! Guys, no one is going to listen to this! People are going to shut this off like three minutes in! I have no idea why we're even doing this! All this is, is the worst thing I've said and the worst thing four other people I know have said—that's all this is. And then… I fucking... I feel like rocking back and forth in the shower, like I've been raped. I need to fucking get brushed off like Silkwood after this, like they need to get the elephant brushes and the power washer—just get me clean. [Eli: Guys, this isn't even close to the worst thing I've ever said.]" (39:57)

### **Interstitials**

* *Raper*, the new app for Christian women who think cum is magic. (6:06)
* The Freestyle Digital Media 2016 Lineup (1:20:48)

### **Tropes**

* Atheist Converts to Christianity
* Bible Reading Montage
* Black Person is a Drug Dealer/Criminal
* Disappointing Christian Celebrity
* Dollar in the Swear Jar
* Heroes are Villains, Villains are Heroes
* Indoctrination of Children
* Kitchen Table
* Magical Black Person
* Neglectful/Godless /Abusive Parent
* RACISM!
* Reprehensible Moral Message

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Film on YouTube
* IMDB
Run Hide Fight (GAM288)

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Run Hide Fight*** is a *bad* movie that plays out in that order.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you loved *Die Hard*, but you're mad nobody adapted it into a workplace safety video, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Cara: ... controversial backstory. [Killed a deer on camera.]
* Heath: ...crisis actors. [The real kind.]
* Eli: ...person to make a movie about mass shootings. [Ben Shapiro.]

### **Notes**

* + Check out Cara on her website, Twitter, *Talk Nerdy*, *The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe*, *Fixed That for You*, and (thanks to Eli) iLoveSkinBooks.com.
* The film, which apparently disdains the use of obvious punctuation in its title, was purchased for US distribution by Ben Shapiro's *The Daily Wire* website in anticipation of producing conservative film and television content themselves, and it premiered there on 14 January 2021.

### **Jokes**

* (32:55)
* (1:16:00)
* (1:18:20)

### **Interstitials**

* First Ever Writer's Meeting (9:52)
* Responsible Razorball Owners (45:32)
* *Run Hide Fight* in a World with Reasonable Gun Control Laws (1:10:09)

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Trailer on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Magic Spoon [CODE: GAM]: No Wizard Murder Required (1:50:14)
* [1] Hello Fresh] [CODE: GAM10]: For Those Without a Famous Person Vaccine (1:52:28)
* Theragun: Safer than a Beanbag Gun and a Pillow (1:55:07)
The Chosen (GAM343)

### Starring:

Kirk Douglas, Simon Ward, Agostina Belli, Anthony Quayle, Virginia McKenna, Alexander Knox

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Eli Bosnick

### Special Guest

Emma Thorne

***The Chosen*** (also known as ***Rain of Fire*** and ***Holocaust 2000***) is the story of Kirk Douglas's wang flopping around… and all the stuff on either side of that sort of fades from memory.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because once that shows up on your resume, nothing's gonna come after it.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you loved *The Omen*, but you long for the days when people wore three-piece-suits to the mental hospital, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Emma: …reactions to anything ever. [If these are aliens, it all makes sense.]
* Noah: …floppy geriatric penis.
* Eli: …ah, the seventies. [Several dozen times in Eli's notes.]

### **Notes**

* Check out first time guest masochist Emma here; or, more specifically, on YouTube, Twitter, and Patreon.
* Contrary to what the Patreon feed says, this is definitely episode 343 and not 315—that was *Elizabeth's Gift*.
* The film featured a soundtrack by Enrico Maricone, vastly out of proportion in quality to the movie. The alternate ending mentioned in the review can be found here.

### **Jokes**

* (29:55)
* (56:44)

### **Interstitials**

* Manscaped Man & the GAM Live Show (5:01)
* Backwards-Jesus Antichrist (38:22)
* Numbers That Look Like Words (1:07:23)
* A Woman on the Internet (1:44:33) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Awkward Kiss
* Coincidence Treated like a Miracle
* Disappointing Christian Celebrity
* Heroes are Villains, Villains are Heroes..
* SEXISM!
* Vaguely Heard of Jesus

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Emma: Freeze frame on the little baby, and I want the baby to look at the camera and just give a little wink, and it's got a little crucifix or a thorny crown, and it's like "Don't worry pops, it's all part of the plan."
* Noah: Sarah had Kirk castrated at a fake prostate exam as revenge.
* Eli: Kirk gave a whole new meaning the "falling down."

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on Patreon
* Trailer on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Fitbod: Flexotron Muscle Blaster (1:45:00)
* Better Help: Giving Your Emotional Baggage to Strangers on the Internet (1:46:45)
* Hello Fresh: [Code: AWFUL16] We Only Cook the Food for a Limited Asking m Amount of Time (1:48:09)
Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist (GAM403)

### Starring:

Neal McDonough, Kevin Sorbo,Corbin Bernsen, Sarah Fisher, Greg Perrow, Sam Sorbo, Bailey Chase

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist*** is the story of how Tucker Carlson was *right* about everything he *ever* said, ever.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, or else we get the hose again.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you've watched… eleven apocalypses, minimum, and you thought the genre had nothing to surprise you with, well *buckle in* bucky, 'cause *Left Behind 2* is comin' for ya!

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: …best best "Kevin Sorvo had to get vaccinated to make this movie." [Good job Canada.]
* Noah: …narration for an idiot. [Kevin Sorbo.]
* Eli: …getting distracted by your own psychopathy. [COVID versus Rapture.]

### **Notes**

* The film was released theatrically as a Fathom Special Event 26 January–1 February 2023. Resources on the website include a Discussion Guide, a Sermon, and a 3-Part Sermon. The website's store includes "Government Conspiracy Docs"—documentary-style conspiracy films such as *Shadow Government: How the Global Elite Plan to Destroy Democracy and Your Freedom* (2009) and *Final Warning: Economic Collapse and the Coming World Government* (1995).

### **Jokes**

* [Heath: Really just Kevin Sorbo—"Hey Kevin, you want to improvise a Jewish person's name?" "Moishe! Hanukkah… Bagel. Moishe Hanukkah Bagel."] [Eli: I will tell you Heath: I wanna congratulate you for coming up with something *more* stereotypical than the name, 'cause as *I* was watching the movie, I tried to write the joke you just delivered so expertly, and I was like, "Nope. Chaim Rosenzweig is funnier than anything I'm going to come up with."] [Noah: That trumps *all* of the other ones, yes!] [Heath: "Lotofmyfriendsare! That's his last name, Lotofmyfriendsare."] [Noah: Yeah! \*laughs\* "Someofmybestfriendsare." ] [Eli: "Funny! Minister Funny Newyorkman."]

### **Interstitials**

* Our Inability to Focus on Anything Except Our Political Agenda (6:23)
* Satan Introduces Nicolai Carpathia (46:52)
* Atheist Response to the Rapture (1:21:10)
* Outtakes (2:11:32) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* And Then the Apocalypse Happens
* Bible Reading Montage
* Magical Black Person
* This is YOUR Movie!

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: Dominator Analytics went on to rig a bunch more elections after getting 787.5 millions dollars from WGN.
* Noah: Braden Sorbo went on to assistant manage a Starbucks.
* Eli: Kevinn Sorbo has *plenty* of time to make the rest of the *Left Behind* movies, guys. Just hit him up… on *Cameo*.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Trailer on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Raycon: Better Than Eli's Expensophones (2:12:09)
* Mint Mobile: Formerly Owned by Ryan Renolds (2:13:41)
* Maytreon: We Couldn't Have Made It Without You (2:15:15)
Atlas Shrugged, Part II: The Strike (GAM338)

### Starring:

Samantha Mathis, Jason Beghe, Esai Morales, Patrick Fabian, Kim Rhodes, Richard T. Jones, D.B. Sweeney

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

### Special Guest

Cecil Cicirello

***Atlas Shrugged II: The Strike*** is the story of management being like "We go on strike! How do you like *that*? Flipped it on you." And then a fantasy universe having to pretend that something meaningful happened, but they don't really know how.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because we're physically incapable of learning our lesson.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you loved *Atlas Shrugged, Part I, but the star power of Grant Bowler was too fucking distracting for you, you will* love *this movie.*

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: …plot coupons. [Cold fusion and an SEP field.]
* Noah: …disappearing pirate. [Where the fuck is Ragnar Danneskjold?]
* Cecil: …jet plane chase scene. [Passenger jets don't do that.]
* Eli: …general trivia. [So boring.]

### **Notes**

* Check out Cecil on *Cognitive Dissonance*, his YouTube channel *Season Liberally*, and GAM sister show *Citation Needed* (which features an episode on the book.

### **Interstitials**

* Every Single Actor Quit (9:14)
* Francisco D'anconia Interrupts Wedding Speech (42:00)
* Uh, I'm Already a Billionaire (1:18:58)
* Eli Loves to be Annoying About Stuff (1:53:40) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Awkward Kiss
* Disappointing~~Christian~~ Celebrity
* Nothing Happens
* This is YOUR Movie!
* Villains are Heroes, Heroes are Villains

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: Everyone in America ran around screaming "I need a rich white person, I don't know what to do! Murder!"
* Noah: Something piratey eventually happened.
* Cecil: Temporary COO Mitchum successfully peed someone else's pants.
* Eli: Dagny's unregulated freedom plane exploded, and killed everyone in the valley. It was the best.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Trailer on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Better Help: Eli's Talking Mental Illness (1:54:49)
* Hello Fresh: [CODE: AWFUL16] Cecil Asks For a Lot of Weird Stuff (1:56:34)
* Master Class: Eli's ClasterMass (1:59:04)
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (GAM230)

### Starring:

William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, Laurence Luckinbill, James Doohan, Walter Koenig, Nichelle Nichols, George Takei

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

### Special Guest

Callie Wright

***Star Trek V: The Final Frontier*** (I think the "V" is about the necks of most the uniforms) is the story of the Heaven's Gate cult, but in space instead of suburban California. So, fun times.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because it hasn't occurred to us not to.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love *Star Trek*, but you hate to see all that b-roll go to waste, you will *love* this movie. This movie is less *Star Trek*, and more *Star Slog*, if you know what I'm saying.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: ...William Shatner sweating.
* Callie: ...convincing me to remain a *Star Trek* fan.
* Noah: ...space lightning.
* Eli: ...God.

### **Notes**

* Check out Callie on Twitter and *Queersplaining*
* Heath actually *was* standing far away at the bottom of a giant toilet for part of the episode.
* Peanut butter squares are delicious.
* Hosts in order from most Trekkie to least: Callie Wright, Eli Bosnick, Noah Lugeons, Heath Enwright.

### **Jokes**

* "Yeah, and I love that in this scene *Star Trek* is doing that not so vaguely racist thing it does a lot, where it has 'These people are different, so they're going to chant this random, weird, obviously-not-English shit to let you know that they're the bad guys.' What's perfect is that this movie is just on the cusp of 'Get it? *Klingons.'*, and 'No, we meant Klingons were cool the whole time!' Which is a transition that *Star Trek* made *relatively* smoothly, but this is this beautiful middle area where they're like 'Look at the Klingons and the shouty shouty brown people.' [Heath: Yeah! The Klingon portrayal is crazy racist. You're saying they fixed it? This is better than it used to be?] This is them fixing it—it's episodes ninety-nine through a hundred and four of GAM. [Heath: No, this is *super* racist. I'm not sure against whom? What group? But it's definitely somebody. This is anti-somebody. They look *ridiculous*. It looks like they all just had a cigar explode in their face moments ago.]” (24:14)

### **Interstitials**

* Callie, Gene Roddenberry, and the *Star Trek V* script. (8:07)
* "Let's put in some Spock, and Kirk, and Bones go camping." (44:38)
* Spock and Sybock meet like highschool acquaintances. (57:12) [Doodly-Doo]
* Sybock uses his regret powers on Heath Enwright (1:18:20)

### **Tropes**

* Bad Sportsing/Sportsing
* Cancer Wife/God Killed My Mom/Evil Stole My Faith
* Disappointing Christian Celebrity
* Neglectful/Godless /Abusive Parent
* Not Christian Enough
* Problem of Evil
* RACISM!

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Trailer on YouTube
* IMDB
Finger of God (GAM386)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Finger of God*** is a "documentary" about how God can't pee or do miracles when you're watching. Two hours of that.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, or else the troll army may awaken.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love the theology of Evangelical Christianity, but you long for the gullibility of a not especially bright six-year-old, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: …best best kid rejecting a hug. [Missionary in Mozambique.]
* Noah: …video evidence. [Possibly the funniest thing in a GAM movie.]
* Eli: …hyphenate job combination. [Anglican Priest-Hostage Negotiator]

### **Notes**

* Everyone in this film other than the director is a grifter, because you can't do a magic trick if you don't know you're doing a magic trick.
* Despite *Finger of God* supposedly being the first of a trilogy along with *Furious Love* and *Father of Lights*, Wanderlust Productions released a sequel, simply titled *Finger of God 2*, still starring Darren, but this time directed by former pastor Will Hacker. It apparently toured thirty-six cities in three months before its 4 December 2018 release.

### **Jokes**

* [Heath: And he talks like a *five-year-old* telling you the story.] [Eli: Mmmhmm.] [Noah: Yeah, he totally does.] [Heath: "And then I prayed. And God. \*coughs\* And Jesus. And… I talked to her.] [Eli: What very clearly had to happen is that this guy was like, "Alright, we have magic powers. \*grunts\* Magic magic! Nope? Okay." And then one of his liar classmates had to be like, "I got this one guys. Heeey, guess who just texted me, buddy."] [Noah: Yes, exactly!] [Eli: Like, he's telling me that a bit that failed at a live show wasn't that bad: "Aw no, I think they got it. I heard some chuckles."]

### **Interstitials**

* An Elaborate Attempt to Drive Whatever Sanity Remains Out of Heath (6:08)
* A Faith Healer Meets Heath (50:16)
* Could You Please Pretend to Be Healed? (1:08:50)
* Outakes (1:33:53) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* Coincidence Treated as a Miracle
* Indoctrination of Children

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: After reviewing the Zapruder film, it turns out invisible Jesus Christ killed JFK.
* Noah: Bethel Church went on to murder people with lockdown violations.
* Eli: Michael Marshal filled infinity season of *Be Reasonable* with the cast of this movie.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* https://www.betterhelp.com/awful Better Help]: A Cartoon of Eli with Big Muscles (1:34:31)
Mountain Top (GAM352)

### Starring:

Barry Corbin, Coby Ryan McLaughlin, Valerie Azlynn, Rachel Hendrix, Danny Vinson

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Eli Bosnick

### Special Guest

Andrew Torrez

***Mountain Top*** is the story of… nothing. Not a goddamn thing—there's a lawyer, there's a crazy person, but nothing anyone does matters and nothing happens.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because I knew it would get me a visit to Canada one of these days.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you're looking for something to ontologically support grandpa's Qanon beliefs, but Elon Musk isn't buying Twitter fast enough for you, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Andrew: …being a visual medium.
* Noah: …pretending that pastor is an actual job.
* Eli: …glorifying of mental illness.

### **Notes**

* Check out Andrew on *Opening Arguments* and *Cleanup on Aisle 45*.
* The film is, according to its Facebook page, "the fourth film adaptation based on a novel by best-selling Christian author and attorney Robert Whitlow."

### **Interstitials**

* Maytreon: Poor Little Andrew Torrez (4:36)
* Dream Prophet Tries to Hire Andrew Torrez (35:01)
* Pastor and Random Reporter Guy/Cat Burglar (1:09:09)

### **Tropes**

* Bad Sportsing
* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* Looks Like…
* Nothing Happens
* This is YOUR Movie!

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Andrew: …divorced lady from scene five got Mike disbarred for not disclosing the fact that her husband was hiding marital assets—why am I the only person who remembers he's a terrible terrible person!
* Noah: Tori Martin became the first Christian movie actor *ever* to have been too good for a role.
* Eli: Tori Martin had lots of funny bits that they didn't let him do for this movie.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* [Episode on YouTube]
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Quip: Eli and Noah Want to Sue Their Teeth (1:45:01)
* Raycon: *Opening Arguments* Destroys Headphones (1:47:20)
* Mint Mobile: Which Phone Plan to Use in Canada?(1:48:43)
Ten of the Top Scientific Truths in the Bible (GAM119)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Ten of the Top Scientific Facts of the Bible*** (with Ray Comfort) is the story of just how much scientific ignorance you can fit into thirty minutes of video. It's like "Stupidity Lightning Round: The Movie." It might as well have a stopwatch on the bottom, and Ray Comfort comes out and he's just like "Uh, bats are birds! Uh, Earth is six thousand years old! Planet covered in water! Uh, I don't know… pass! Kill the gay people!" It's thirty minutes of that.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema because we're Americans and Americans deserve to be punished.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love the Bible, and your definition of 'fact is really broad, you will *love* this movie. This is like when you're in an argument with someone at four in the morning in a parking lot, and they're like "Three things motherfucker, okay? One: you don't ever touch me. Two… ships are shaped like ships,
... I don't want to get into it."

### **Best Worst**

* Ei: …three.
* Heath: …"These are not the droids you're looking for."

### **Notes**

* Recorded live at Skepticon Australia 2017.
* The episode name is slightly different than the actual video name ("truths" versus "facts").
* A number three is "where it's blood." Eli takes a lot of number threes.

### **Jokes**

* "You gotta marry a dude now." (2:00)
* "Look, at the time it was common knowledge that we were all on the back of a turtle—a turtle named Greg." (10:00)

### **Interstitials**

* Heath's Evangelical Street Atheism (8:16)
* Ray tries his schtick on Noah. (32:50)

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Film on YouTube
The Devil Within Her (GAM216)

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***The Devil Within Her*** (also known as ***I Don't Want to Be Born***) is the story of a woman suffering from terrible postpartum depression so badly that she is convinced that her baby is possessed by the devil, and spoiler alert: she will be so convincing that everyone around her—including the baby—will agree with her.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we watch another terrible movie, so you don't have to.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love those movies about *spoooky* possessed kids, but you've never met or seen a baby live, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: ...parking!
* Anna: ...baby reaction.
* Eli: ...monster.

### **Notes**

* Check out Anna's website and her album *The Ring* on CD Baby, Google Play, iTunes and the various streaming platforms.
* The baby is not possessed by the devil, it is possessed by a *little person* who used to work with the mother.
* The sister-nun asks the husband when the last time he prayed was, so this totally counts as a Christian movie and isn't just what happens when Noah is gone.

### **Jokes**

* "When they show Hercules—so far the music in this whole movie has been smooth jazz and porn soundtrack stuff, which is strange for a horror movie, but whatever—and as soon as they show Hercules leaving the club and walking around they have like *legit* have someone just doing the mouth harp. It's just like 'DOING DOING DOING DOING DOING.' I was surprised they didn't have like someone with a tuba following him the entire time, 'cause this movie is like *crazy* degrading to people with dwarfism. They're like 'Is this comic relief, or is it terrifying? Yes.' \*laughter\*" (53:40)

### **Interstitials**

* "It's Frank from America! He's gonna make our movie script, he is." (6:39)
* "I'm Michael Marshall's mum." (1:01:38)

### **Tropes**

* Crazy Billionaire Money
* Disappointing Christian Celebrity
* Make Me a Sammich!
* SEXISM!
* Name That Movie!

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Film on YouTube
* IMDB
Absolute Interference (GAM297)

### Starring:

Mike Lindell, Michael Flynn, Phil Whaldron, Thomas McInerney, Doug Frank, Pixel John

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Absolute Interference*** is the *sequel* to Mike Lindell's Absolute *Proof* (again, about Biden stealing the election, more), and it's the story of—exact quote, multiple times in this movie—it's the story of "*Absolute Proof* times two!"

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because they refuse to watch *us* for a change.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love being lied to by a toddler, but you wish he had backup from trustworthy figures like the Hamburglar, Swiper, and those kids trying to steal the Lucky Charms, you will *love* this movie. It's absolute proof… of treason.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: ...voice modulation. [One of the funniest things we've ever seen.]
* Noah: ...confirmation. [Unsupported data being "verified" by an anonymous "expert."]
* Eli: ...guest to be talking about foreign interference in our elections that isn't Vladimir Putin. [Debatable.]

### **Notes**

* This episode was originally scheduled as *Flatliners*, but Lindell releasing this absolutely required a last minute change. Oddly enough, the website for this film originally (on 10 April) featured Lindell's fifty-six minute short, *Scientific Proof*.

### **Interstitials**

* Mike Lindell, Back Again! [Door Was Open] (5:53)
* Mike Lindell v Dominion Voting (41:55)
* Noah's Laptop Compromised by China (1:04:13)
* Crack Marathon (1:39:50) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Boss in a Bit Part
* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* I'll See You in Court!
* Nothing Happens

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Trailer on YouTube
* [IMDb]

### **Ad Reads**

* [1] Better Help]: Finding Heath a Therapist (1:43:50)
* Mint Mobile: Finding Heath a Cellphone Plan (1:45:44)
* Tushy: Finding Heath a Birthday Gift (1:47:54)
Fighting Chance (GAM421)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Fighting Chance*** is the story of a Christian MMA fighter, and what happens when, apparently, God is suffering from from CTE (chronic brain injury) but still controls everything.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, or they'll send us back to the science lab.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love the feel-good "one time I got better thanks to doctors" stories sure we're used to from b Christian cinema, but you wish God was as irrelevant as he was powerless, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: …the movie ran out of the movie and had to write a different movie. [It stops being an MMA movie.]
* Noah: …fucking title. [His ’’name’’ is Chance.]
* Eli: …suicide attempt. [A serious issue, but this one is just silly.]

### **Notes**

* Director/Writer Rob Diamond also works as an acting coach, and has a talent agency, based in Sandy, Utah. Actor/Writer Aaron J. Owen got his start with the Rob Diamond agency.

### **Jokes**

* [Noah: He says, "Now, you know I *could* go back to preaching again.", and she's like "No." In fighting at least the people whose brains you hurt volunteer for it, right? They know what they're getting into.] [Eli: "Yeah, no, it's better." Interesting that he's like, "Sorry, I can't do a job with skills anymore, but I could do preaching! It requires literally nothing."] [Heath: "I've got preaching! It's the ultimate safety school job, yeah."] [Eli: "It's either preaching, or I go to Eli and Heath's middle school once a year and freak out all the kids about drunk driving, and as an adult you think about that speaker and you're like 'What the fuck was the point of that? That doesn't seem…'."]

### **Interstitials**

* If It's Not a True Story, Why Isn't It Better? (5:32)
* Nonsense Commentary by Larry and Larry (28:52)
* Heath Enwright's First Fight (58:51)
* Outtakes (1:24:34) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Angry Yelling At God
* Awkward Kiss
* Bad Christian Space Work
* Bad Sportsing/Sportsing
* Behind on the Rent
* Boss in a Bit Part
* Cancer Wife/God Killed My Mom/Evil Stole My Faith
* Christians Don't Know How the World Works
* Flashback to Shit We Just Watched
* Name That Movie!
* Pyune, Pune, Pun!
* Who's That Girl?

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: Max and his entire family went bankrupt, because "Big Pharm" money is nothing and medical bills are enormous.
* Noah: Chance and Ashley's kid went on to post a 14 and 1 record in Baby MMA, which is as brutal as it is adorable.
* Eli: Chance instantly died the next time he got tapped in the head again. His coach was heard to say "Whoopsie."

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* /IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Mint Mobile: *Mint Mobile: The Movie* (1:26:26)
* FitBod: Get in Shape Montage Powers (1:27:58)
* Draft Kings: Eli's Tips and Tricks [CODE: GAM] (1:30:03)
Miracle Man (GAM001)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Miracle Man*** is like if *Walker, Texas Ranger* and the people who make after school specials had a baby, and that baby had a nightmare about the bible.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we suffer through another excruciating example of Christian cinema in an effort to prove that if God existed, his PR couldn't possibly suck this bad.

### **How Bad Was It?**

* Heath: TBD
* Noah: TBD
* Eli: TBD

### **Notes:**

* A direct to YouTube release, from the *Cracked* "5 Insane Christian Movies You Won't Believe Are Serious" list.

### **Jokes**

* Eli promises to "cut off and devour his own penis" if the movie ever did a soundcheck.
* Attack of the lens flair.

### **Interstitials**

* Brick Brazen, acting coach to the Christian stars [9:00]
* Satan's temptation problems with Allen [1:21:48]
* Hellbound Kangaroo

### **Tropes**

* Christians don't know how the world works
* Secret Jesus
* Always behind with the rent

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb
List of GAM Episodes

## God Awful Minis

1. Noah [Pre-Eli] (*Cognitive Dissonance* 170)
2. God's Not Dead (SA059 2014-04-03)
3. Heaven is for Real (SA068 2014-06-05)
4. Left Behind (2014) (SA086 2014-10-09)
5. Persecuted (SA090 2014-11-06)
6. Saving Christmas (SA093 2014-11-27)
7. Fireproof (SA0105 2015-02-19)
8. Do You Believe (SA110 2015-03-26
9. International Guerillas (SA114 2015-06-18)
10. C Me Dance (SA122 2015-06-18)
11. Audacity (SA125 2015-07-09)
12. Lesson 22: One Man, One Woman [Homophobic Up] (SA170 2016-05-19)
13. Pages of Death (SA181 2016-08-04)
14. Lesson 2: Obey Jehovah / Lesson 4: Stealing is Bad (SA196 2016-11-17 )
15. These Things are an Abomination (SA204 2017-01-12)
16. A Cup of Coffee (SA246 2017-11-02)
17. School Shootings: The Cause and the Cure (SA275 2018-05-24)
18. Uncle Ben (SA288 2018-08-23)
19. Just Say Merry Christmas (SA305 2018-12-20)
20. In the Arms of Angels (SA319 2019-03-28)
21. Where No Flag Burns (SA328 2019-05-30)
22. Boys Beware (SA344 2019-09-19)
23. How Much Affection (SA347 2019-10-10)
24. Girls Beware (SA384 2020-06-25)
25. A is for Adam (SA405 2020-11-19)
26. Heaven's Reward (SA413 2021-01-14)
27. Noah's Flood vs. Primitive Superstition (SA416 2021-02-04)
28. A Teenager's Choice (SA423 2021-03-25])
29. Evolution Inspired Columbine (SA429 2021-05-06) [The video is now set to private, but here's a review that features it.]
30. The Ones (SA443 2021-06-03)
31. Psalty's Songs for Little Praisers, Vol. 2: Follow the Leader, Jesus! (SA447 2021-09-09)
32. Does God Exist? 4 New Arguments (SA449 2021-09-23)
33. Why God is a He (SA455 2021-11-04)
34. William Bradford: The First Thanksgiving (SA458 2021-11-25)
35. The Recycler (SA465 2022-01-13)
36. She Mocks Jesus Publicly, Then This Happens... (SA471 2022-02-24)
37. Abortion (SA478 2022-04-14)
38. The Prophet of Oz (SA483 2022-05-19)
39. 5 Halloween Alternatives for Christians (SA506 2022-10-27)
40. The Gift / Come Home (SA515 2022-12-29)
41. Lesson 47: Who Should Be My Friend? (SA520 2023-02-02)
42. Lesson 43: Does Jehovah Answer Prayers? (SA525 2023-03-09)
43. Don't Trust Your Conscience (SA534 2023-05-11)
44. Should Christians Support Black Lives Matter? (SA540 2023-06-22)
45. The Sissy (SA544 2023-07-20)
46. Dragons, are They Real? (SA550 2023-08-31)
47. Pro-Choice Activists Will HATE This Video... (SA550 2023-08-31)
48. The Gift (SA 2023-12-14)
49. Poison (SA 2023-01-11)
Mr. Krueger's Christmas (GAM254)

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Mr. Krueger's Christmas*** is the story of...

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because drugs rob you of your ambition.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love "It's a wonderful Life" but you wish George Bailey didn't matter so much, you will love this movie.

### **Notes**

* Explicitly produced for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and broadcast on NBC on 21 December 21 1980.
* While available from Hard-to-Find Mormon Movies, a slightly better quality unlisted version is available from the "Church Newsroom" channel.

### **Links**

* GAM Episode on YouTube
* [Episode on YouTube]
* Film on YouTube
* IMDB
The Badge, the Bible, and Bigfoot (GAM372)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***The Badge, the Bible, and Bigfoot*** is the biblical story of a perfectly lucid gun owner looking to get revenge against a yeti who threatens his family… with the power of Christ.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because we just can't help it.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you ever wondered about the sexual roleplay of the staff at Dick's Sporting Goods, but you can't jerk off to people without knowing their spiritual life is the same as yours, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: …geometry in their universe. [It's non-Euclidean. There may be a wormhole in Maine, or they have a restraining order against each other.]
* Noah: …humility. [He says movies about fighting bigfoot are problematic.]
* Eli: …outfit stuff. [This definitely originated with the non-fucking parts of their sex tapes.]

### **Notes**

* Note from Noah: I accidentally uploaded the wrong audio when I first uploaded this episode, and because Patreon's website is too far gone for something as complicated as "edit the fucking audio", I had to delete that episode and reupload. If you already downloaded it, please re-download for the corrected version. Apologies for any inconvenience.
* Despite what is mentioned in the episode, only Ashley Hays Wright is listed as writer/director on IMDb and in the movie's credits, not her husband.
* Wright Family Films forgot the Oxford comma in the title, but fuck that.

### **Jokes**

* [Heath: Eli said he could beat you up. Just so you know, sir.] [Eli: I *did* say that. I did say that.] [Heath: Eli said he could beat the *shit* out of you.] [Eli: Yeah.] [Heath: Hand to hand.] [Eli: A *thousand* dollars for charity? What? I don't know who said it, but I remember a thousand dollar—we're going to have to give a thousand dollars to a hate group guys, but it's going to be *so* funny.] [Noah: Yeah.] [laughter] [Eli: LIke, we're going to have to give a thousand dollars to Family Research Council, but c'mon, y'all don't want that video?] [Heath: Yeah. Very slowly, in pennies. We'll film it. It will be fun.] [Eli: Absolutely.]

### **Interstitials**

* Your Father and I are Making a Movie (6:07)
* Are You Taking a Shit in the Woods? (28:18)
* Nothing [See the Patreon Ad] (58:05)
* Eli Gets Sexual (1:26:36) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Boss in a Bit Part [All the parts.]
* Nothing Happens
* This is YOUR Movie

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: David Owen Wright tried to return a shotgun *covered* in shit. They gave him store credit.
* Noah: Ashley Hays Wright went on to freebase crushed Sudafed out behind the Juvits Travel Center.
* Eli: This family made like, five more movies, and we will be watching them all. [It's so many more than that.]

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Better Help: Heath Won't Go Back to "Therapy" (Eli in a Wig) (1:26:55)
* Quip: Dutch Baby, Hostage Negotiator (1:27:55)
* Patreon: Morbin Time! (1:29:52)
Kingdom Come (GAM427)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Kingdom Come*** is the story of Satan, the Prince of Darkness, having an *off* day at work, and it is *so* fucking funny.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because when we said "There couldn't possibly be more than a couple hundred of 'em", we were *tragically* mistaken.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love the cheap Spooktacular twist of "it was hell the whole time" of other horror movies, but you wish they followed the morality of your mentally ill aunt who thinks Antifa did January 6th, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: …Satan's minions trying to vamp. [During a Satan speech.]
* Noah: …pretending to try to break things that would clearly break if you really tried to do that. [eg. windows]
* Noah: …Christians trying out the eyes word "fuck" for the first time. [Honorable mention.]
* Eli: …sins. [A *wide* range for eternal torture.]

### **Notes**

* Check out the Facebook "fan page", filled with a stack of behind the scenes production photos. The Canadian production company, Matchbox Pictures, has an earlier GAM spooktacular candidate, *Devil Seed* (2012).

### **Jokes**

* [Noah: Nothing ever cracks up Eli up quite like his own poop jokes, I'll tell you what.] [Eli: I wrote that—I was on a plane, watching this movie and I wrote that joke, and then *giggled* so hard I cried with laughter, to myself on a plane.] [Heath: "Giggled so hard, I shat. It was fun! It was meta!"] [Eli: And… if you could have seen the fear,—the absolute *terror* —in everyone's faces, as on a flight to Omaha I began to go "Hee hee hee hee hee. Hee hee hee hee hee." ]

### **Interstitials**

* God and Lucifer Planning Meeting (6:43)
* Stop Expositing Your Worst Characteristics! (30:48)
* I'm Super-Obviously Satan (58:53)
* Outtakes (1:30:15) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Immediate Car Crash
* RACISM!
* Who's That Girl/Guy?

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Heath: Bone-Winged Demon just sat in the passenger seat of that ambulance and played with a fidget spinner.
* Noah: Nadir went on to go to heaven, while the daughter he murdered for dating a black guy probably went to hell… is *their* theology.
* Eli: Satan is still just missing an eye now, I guess.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Trailer on YouTube
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Babble: Video Game Language Learning App (1:30:52)
* MeUndies: Eli's One-Man Production of *The Wiz* (1:32:32)
Drive Angry (GAM290)

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Drive Angry*** (also known as ***Drive Angry 3D***) is a one-hundred and four minute chase/fight scene with a dash of Satan.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we watch another terrible movie, so you don't have to.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Bad enough that to figure out how long it takes to get out of Hell, you only need to check the runtime of the movie (which again, is one-hundred and four minutes).

### **Best Worst**

* Tom: ...fight/sex scene. [Cage keeps his clothes on.]
* Cecil: ... portrayal of the seemingly infinite resilience of the human body. [They just keep going.]
* Heath: ...IMDb trivia. [Cage wanted to have a shaved tattooed head.
* Eli: …I'm just describing what's happening in my notes. [What the fuck else are you gonna do?]

### **Notes**

* Check out Tom and Cecil on *Cognitive Dissonance* and GAM sister show *Citation Needed*
* Happy 45th Birthday Noah! One of Noah's gifts was taking this episode off, but no one could possibly have beaten Lucinda's gift of a Magnavox Odyssey² and sixteen games, with original boxes and manuals.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Trailer on YouTube
* IMDb
Newsboys: Down Under the Big Top (GAM325)

### Starring:

John James, Peter Furler, Phil Joel, Jody Davis, Duncan Phillips, Jeff Frankenstein

## Hosts

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

### Special Guest

Anna Bosnick

***Down Under the Big Top*** (not to be confused with *Under the Big Top*, a 1938 black and white film of similar length) is the story of a small town American kid who runs off to join the circus, and find his way to Jesus through the power of nineties pop-rock and an extremely intimate relationship with a mop.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we watch another terrible movie so you don't have to.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you loved the japes and storytelling *Yellow Submarine*, but you'd like a band on the *opposite* side of the talent spectrum from the Beatles, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Anna: ...animal budget. [Not what you'd expect from a circus.]
* Heath: ...best best angry clown coach at clown academy. [Heath's dad as a clown.]
* Eli: ...way to shove a music video into the movie at the end. [That's the whole thing, right?]

### **Notes**

* Check out Anna's website and her album *The Ring* on CD Baby, Google Play, iTunes and the various streaming platforms.
* The eponymous single from the movie peaked at number nine on the *Billboard* chart, and—on an unrelated note—the VHS box art features one of the most terrifying clowns you'll ever see.
* In post-credits Scathing Atheist 456, Noah suggests that Anna and Eli's argument about which clown is the villain may be the high point of GAM (59:41, Patreon version).

### **Jokes**

* (20:58)
* (37:56)
* (49:50)

### **Interstitials**

* Vulgary for Charity Ad (6:54)
* Newsboys Movie Meeting (33:33)
* Tony D's School of Christian Rock (51:53)
* Extended Anna (1:24:06) [After Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Boss in a Bit Part
* Christians Don't Understand How Anything Works

### **Animal/Breakfast Club Close**

* Anna: The dog with the little clown hat was never convinted of plotting the assassination of Nibbles the Hamster, and went on to retire a millionaire.
* Heath: The Japanese lady from the end went on to… uh. No! No, I'm not doing it. You do not get an *Animal House* close from me.
* Eli: David A.R. White managed to not join the Newsboys, despite also being a divorced dad.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Theragun: Start of Sketch Grumbles (1:29:25)
* True Bill: Eli's Forgotten Subscriptions (1:31:29)
* Mint Mobile: Heath Can Totally Text You Back ft. Anna (1:32:41)
The Case for Christ (GAM086)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***The Case for Christ*** is the story of Lee Strobel becoming a Christian, because Achilles did in fact defeat Hector using magical armor from Hephaestus, the god of fire and metalworking. Does none of that make sense? It still won't when we're done.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because the courts weren't super specific when they said "community service."

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you think the best way to investigate a murder is to prove whether or not knives exist, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: …people we walked past on the way into the theater.
* Eli: …outfits.
* Noah: ...daddy issues.
* Noah: ...Eli note misspelling.

### **Notes**

* Based on the 1998 non-fiction book arguing in favour of the divinity of Jesus.

### **Jokes**

* "Oh, and this is where my spellcheck killed itself. Eli, is there any chance that you can remember what you were trying to write in this last—before you say it I want to read for the audience what you actually wrote: change my hisfinand, change my jizzfinand." (1:44:25)

### **Interstitials**

* *The Case for Elvis* (10:25)
* "We're not atheists because we hate our dads…" (1:14:05)

### **Tropes**

* Magical Black Person
* Neglectful/Godless /Abusive Parent
* Crazy Billionaire Money
* Black Man is a Drug Dealer/Criminal
* Atheist Converts to Christianity
* Bible Reading Montage
* Disappointing Christian Celebrity
* Heroes are Villains, Villains are Heroes
* Indoctrination of Children
* Disappointing Christian Celebrity

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Film on YouTube (Paid)
* IMDB
Baptists at Our Barbeque (GAM412)

262 Mormons, 262 Baptists, and a very entertaining little town.

Noah Lugeons

Eli Bosnick

***Baptists at Our Barbeque*** is the story of a *fierce* dispute between two rival factions and a love affair that blossoms across the divide… except the factions are Baptists and Mormons, and the movie keeps forgetting that they're rivals half the time, or to even have anything actually happen in the entire movie. It's *West Side Complete Absence of Story*.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because we ignored *all* the warning signs.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you spent years trying to drive guest masochist Michael Marshall to the brink of madness with the worst misinformation the world has to offer, only to find that a Mormon *comedy* does the job far better, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Marsh: …divine intervention. [Maybe we can hear something?]
* Noah: …insult. [The prudes of the Christinian world.]
* Eli: …movie slipping into dementia. [Full loss of personhood.]

### **Notes**

* Check out Marsh on Twitter, *Be Reasonable*, *Skeptics with a K*, *The Skeptic* (UK), and at The Good Thinking Society, or (thanks to Eli) Skeptic of the Year and MarshStoleHisVaccineFromAnOldLady.com.
* Originally titled *Eat, Drink, and Get Married*, the film was based on a 1996 novel by Robert F. Smith, and was filmed on location in Utah in September 2003. It was described as "Best film of the decade!" by the Hope & Dreams Films Festival.

### **Jokes**

* [Eli: I wrote "Yeah, we're getting some full-on Terminator 2 shit going on right now!"] [Marsh: Yeah.] [Noah: Yeah! Well yeah, and this, of course, ends with him throwing the fifty-year-old woman off of his truck in a speedy turn, or whatever, and then driving away. Yeah.] [Marsh: Yeah! While she yells at him "Tartan spelled backwards is Satan!" ] [Noah: That's what she said.] [Marsh: Which it obviously isn't.] [Eli: It is not, no.] [Noah: It's "natrat." I'm sorry, I'm looking at it right here.]

### **Interstitials**

* First Writers' Meeting (6:46)
* Mormons Meet Dr. Bloom (49:23)
* Tonally Inconsistent Improv (1:23:13)
* Outtakes (2:01:57) [Post Credits

### **Tropes**

* Alcohol= Bad Guy
* Behind on the Rent
* Coincidence Treated like a Miracle
* Dollar in the Swear Jar
* Heath is Away This Week
* Nothing Happens

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Marsh: A week later, the librarian convinced herself she could hear the river whispering, and now the whole town's Muslim.
* Noah: Bob would go on the fuck the Mormonism right out of Tartan's mom.
* Eli: One time, my brother broke his leg on the seesaw. That's what it was like watching this movie, everybody.

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Better Help: Eli Overloaded by Mormon Movie Month Choices (2:02:17)
* Mint Mobile: Prices So Good, We Might Be Cops (2:04:00)
* FitBod: Not a Cult, No Weirdly Specific Programs (2:05:23)