Dragonstone 54

**Chapter 54**

Egil reacts violently, slamming his hand on the table when Doomy is named. He insists that this proves his is the One-Eye in Dark Water, since he knows the layout of Doomy's lair, and we flash back to his description of it. In fact, we get half a page of description literally copied from chapter 33, and that's worth a drink. \~/

Egil declares that they must track Doomy down and take vengeance. Burel agrees, but Arin points out that stopping a global war and preventing the horrific deaths of countless tens of thousands of innocents takes precedence over personal vengeance. Alos says they're all insane to be hunting a wizard, and that Doomy will send demons after them all. They discuss where to look, but their only clue, from Burel, is the name of the place the ship sailed from: Yilan Koy.

Our Heroes prepare to leave, which includes, among other things, Burel having a farewell fuck with all his various fuckbuddies. Yes, really. *"Burel needed time to say goodbye, for not all the acolytes of Ilsitt had sworn vows of celibacy, and they spent the nights visiting him one last time."*

Vows of celibacy or not, I have a hard time seeing a pseudo-Christian order of priestesses being okay with casual sex, especially casual, unmarried sex with multiple partners and no hint of fidelity. I also don't see why it was necessary to emphasize that Burel has been, er, "getting some." \~/

Though I guess it puts him in good standing with Egil and Delon.

Why are McKiernan's male protagonists all man-whores?

Ferai and Delon spend time together, having been completely overwhelmed by the mind control magic of the Plot (and we're explicitly told that Ferai was raped at age 12, eww), while Alos tries to wheedle alcohol from the Ilsitters, because he's a hopeless drunk. Had you forgotten? McKiernan hasn't. \~/

Finally, on November 27th, Our Heroes depart with their camels. As Burel leaves the sanctuary and emerges into the Maze proper, the demon materializes out of a stone wall and hacks off his camel's head with its obsidian sword. The demon is described as being eight feet tall and covered with shiny black plates. As the camels panic, Burel attacks the demon, but it parries every blow and then whacks him senseless.

As an aside, the reason Burel has never left the Ilsitters' sanctuary in thirty-something years is that he believed the demon would come for him if he did so. With that in mind, *why did they send him out first?* Wouldn't it make more sense to have everyone else already out of the narrow tunnel and ready for combat when Burel emerges, just in case he's right? \~/ Instead, Samurai Chick is busy fighting her way past terrified camels, which are trying to flee from the demon back into the sanctuary.

There's a paragraph where the demon has Burel at its mercy, but waits until he regains consciousness and opens his eyes so he can see it killing him. Of course, because the demon waited so long, Samurai Chick appears and manages to block the blow. I guess the demon never read the Evil Overlord's list. \~/

The demon and Samurai Chick duel for a bit, with it being supernaturally fast and strong, able to parry both her blades with its one. Meanwhile, the others are trying to wrangle the panicking camels and force their way through the tunnel. Ferai stops to keep Alos from being trampled by camels, earning her my grudging respect.

Back to the duel. There are a lot of written sound effects, like *"Shing-shang, cling-clang, chang-shang,"* which makes me think of the old 1960s Batman TV show. Not the effect McKiernan was going for, I assume.

There's also a note that Samurai Chick's *"shiruken"* are *"gone, lying somewhere on the bloodred stone, batted from the air by the dark sword."* Samurai Chick is fighting with two swords, and has been since the battle started. How did she throw "shiruken" at the demon? We've been told it's absurdly fast, so she couldn't possibly have taken the time to sheath one sword, throw some "shiruken" at it, then draw her sword again, and even if she could have, why would she? Despite pop culture depictions, throwing stars are not bullets; they're smaller, lighter, and less deadly than even a throwing knife, much less a sword.

Yes, it's petty, but this book has not earned any leeway. \~/

The demon disarms Samurai Chick of one sword and slashes her across the chest - or rather *"athwart her chest."* Seconds later, it knocks her other sword away as well. She goes for the dagger in her boot, and the demon for some reason grabs the back of her jacket instead of just hacking her to bits while she's unarmed and vulnerable. This causes her armored jacket and shirt to rip open along the cut, *"and she fell back, the crimson tiger between her breasts exposed."*

And her breasts exposed as well, one would imagine.

This causes the demon to jerk back in . . . fear? Surprise? . . . and out of nowhere there's *"an enraged chuff - RRUH! - as if coughed from the throat of a wild savage beast."* Yay, random bullshit magic! \~/ Somehow, Samurai Chick is able to grab the demon's sword and *"with a strength she alone did not possess"* she stabs it in the gut with its own sword. The demon bursts into flames . . . for some reason . . . and then Burel recovers and hacks its head off.

Burel picks up the wounded Samurai Chick and starts carrying her back to the sanctuary. There's *"a whelming blast,"* and the chapter ends.

Drinks: 7

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