Steed Crater

Steed Crater is the seventh chapter in the Wombles Four. If you were looking for the location, see Steed Crater (location).

Steed was just setting course for a holiday to the Bahamas when Venus leapt out of the cupboard. She had the machete and held at Steed’s throat.  “Stop the rocket!” she shouted.  “OK” said Steed with no choice.  Venus let Yuma Von Vomble into the rocket.  Yuma pointed a gun at Mother.  Mother just laughed.  “Vy are you laughing!” shouted Yuma.  “Because the time delay poison capsule will kill you in 5, 4, 3, 2, now!”  Just at that moment Yuma turned green and died. Cathy threw him out of the rocket and hit Venus with the wheelchair.

Later Venus woke up in the shed.  She was attached to a big workbench with large vices.  Two weird purple things were clamped to workbenches next to hers. “What are they?” she asked out loud. “Dr Jon Von Pincher” replied one and “Dr Diabolical Diablo” said the other.  “Oh I thought you must be aliens because you look like big purple caterpillars. “The vices” said Dr Pincher.  “You will too soon enough” said Dr Diablo. “No!” shouted Venus.  “I will get out!  By the way where exactly are we?”

“Steed and Cathy’s shed actually ja!” replied Dr Pincher.  “SHED!” shouted Venus as she furiously tried to get out of the vices. Somehow the vices seemed to just get tighter.  “You won’t get out on my watch!  Ho hum, you could just wait to be interrogated.”  The voice was somewhere behind Venus’ head.  “Who are you?” she asked.  “That would be telling!” replied Bungo.  “You are going to be squashed in two!” said another voice.  “Who are you?” asked Venus.  “I am number one!” replied Cathy as Bungo tightened the vices to be the same as for the two evil doctors.

At Buckingham Palace the Queen was cleaning the throne room.  “You have missed a bit!” said Mrs Peel and bashed the Queen on the head with her own sword.  “Yes Your Majesty!” replied the Queen but inside she was fuming.  The Queen headed out to get a fresh mop and bucket then got hit on the head with a machete!  Cathy checked the Queen was out cold.  The doors burst open to the throne room.  Cathy stood facing Mrs Peel.  Mrs Peel faced her enemy with sword in hand.  Cathy lunged at Mrs Peel’s immortality device.  The machete swiped into Mrs Peel’s stomach.  The immortality device came loose.  Cathy Grabbed it.

Mrs Peel lay on the floor gasping for breath.  “I really did love you Johnsie Wonsie!” she said hoarsely to the air.  She prepared to die then everything went black.  Mrs Peel blinked.  “I’m alive!” she shouted to nobody.  She got up and saw a body next to her.  It was Venus!  There was a hole in her stomach and note was written in blood.

*Dear Mrs Peel,*

*I know you loved Steed.  Just as I hated him.  Please do this for me.  There is a watch.  Go to the jeweller at the corner of Smith Street.  Gold with an altimeter.  Put it on Steed’s wrist.  He will have to do what you say and will be dead to himself.  Do for it me, make Steed a Human Cybernaut!*

*BTW I gave you my immortality device.*

Mrs Peel blinked at the note.  She didn’t know what to do.  Suddenly there was a crackle of electricity.  It went out from Mrs Peel’s stomach into Venus’s, taking the immortality device with it.  “No!” Venus leapt up and Mrs Peel prepared to die again.

Cathy was driving home with the other immortality device.  Suddenly she had an electric shock.  She looked at the immortality device.  It was crackling all over with electricity.  She turned it over to check what was going on, then her hand started to burst into flames.  She screamed and tried to leap out the car, but somehow immortality device was yanking her the other way.  The fire spread onto the car.  “Help!” she screamed.

No one was there.  The immortality device almost yanked her hand off, and she was forced to let go of it.  It seemed to fly off, attached to some kind of electricity.  Cathy managed to leap out the car this time.  She landed on the other side of the road.  A car rolled towards her.  She leapt into the bushes and coughed from the smoke of the fire.  But she wasn’t safe yet.  The fire spread onto the bushes.  She tried to get out desperately.  Suddenly something grabbed her from behind.  She felt her foot being pulled.  She yanked it out of the hand, and her boot came off.  She heard a voice, but couldn’t make out what it was saying. She gasped for breath, then fainted.

“What happened?” said Cathy after waking up at home.  “I only have half an answer to that.” Replied Steed, handing her some Gooseberry Cider. “I was wondering where you’d got to, so went on my way to Buckingham Palace thinking you might be there, but then I found the street on fire, and your car all burnt up.  I saw your foot poking out the bushes, and tried to get you out, but you must’ve taken me for a criminal, and stopped me.

A few minutes later you stopped moving, so I hurriedly took you home.  But I don’t know how the fire started.”  “I don’t know exactly,” replied Cathy, slowly recovering.  “But what I do know is that it all started with the immortality device.  I took it out of Mrs Peel, then when I was driving along it started to crackle with electricity, and it set the car on fire, then when I let go, it flew off being pulled by some electricity.  Don’t ask me to explain it, I can’t.”

Meanwhile the immortality device travelled back into Mrs Peel’s stomach.  “Why do I keep being killed and coming to life again?” she said, slightly irritated.  “And wait… why is Venus alive too?”  Venus was pacing up and down wondering the same thing.

“He is known as John, Steed, John Steed, Steed John Steed, Jonno, Johnny the Horse, Carruthers and currently goes by the name of Lord Sir John Steed.  The suspect is armed and dangerous.”  The new police chief clicked a button and Cathy’s face appeared on the screen.  “Cathy Gale also known as the Queen, Queen Anne, Queen Lady Cathy Steed, Mrs Steed, Cathy, Mrs Gale, Mrs Catherine Gale.”  An officer put up his hand.  “Yes Sergeant Wellington” said Chief of Police Bulgaria.  “Is she also known as Pussy Galore?” asked Officer Wellington. “No Officer Wellington!  What are you talking about?”  Wellington decided to keep quiet.

“And now a weather warning” said the TV weather report.  “There will lots of giant womblets falling from the sky today so stay safe and hope your house isn’t crushed.”  Just then a giant Venussian octopus fell onto the TV studio and televisions everywhere fell silent.

Wellington was a bit confused.  “How can she be Mrs Steed and Mrs Gale at the same time?”

Cathy suddenly quickly stood up.  “Where are Thomas and Lucy?” she said.  “Er…” replied Steed, not knowing.  “This is even worse than the last time, the drug to give them the intelligence of a fully-trained spy has worn off!”  Cathy was panicking.  “Don’t worry” said Steed.  “Don’t worry!” replied Cathy.  “Are you serious?  Who knows what could’ve happened to them?”  “Yes, I am serious.  They’ll come back.  They always do.”  “That was only when they knew how to get around London, how to talk, and all that! They don’t anymore!  They won’t come back this time, I’m sure of it!” “Yes they will.”  Steed tried assure her.

Thomas and Lucy were in the rocket.  Thomas crawled on the controls.  “Self-destruction in 10 9 8 7 6 5” boomed a voice around the rocket.

Steed and Cathy heard from in the house.  They rushed out.  The lights were flashing on the rocket.  “The babies!” yelled Cathy.  The police were there.  “What! We killed all the police!” said Steed. “The Steeds!” shouted the police. “Hang on, they’re not police, they’re wombles!” shouted Cathy whilst knocking them out.  Steed rushed into the rocket and grabbed Thomas.  Cathy grabbed Lucy.  They ran full pelt to the cars.  Steed leapt into his dark green Bentley.  Cathy into her Lotus.  The two cars screeched away.

Just after they reached the road there was an enormous boom.  They stopped and looked back. Steed Manor had gone!  There was just a large crater now.  Quickly Steed checked the storage boxes on his Bentley.  He relaxed again when he found the 1926, 1927, 1947 vintage champagnes, 100 year-old whisky, brandy, sherry, Gooseberry Cider and Gooseberry Brandy.  Cathy was relieved to hear that the drinks were fine.  She headed to the shops to get more designer and leather clothes and order some new suits for Steed.

Steed headed to the Dreemy Kreem Dairy.  When he entered One Ten, One Twelve, Mother, Father, Grandma and Carruthers saluted. Mr Class asked what was happening. “Steed Manor has been destroyed! I want the dairy converted to a manor house.  It will be the new Steed Manor!”  Mr Class and the Milkman were a bit shocked.  “Where will the Avengers live now?” they asked.  Steed gave them the Womble burrows old and new.

It didn’t take long to get the new Steed Manor built.  They also took over part of London and had the streets converted to gardens.  The Avengers were busily working on the burrows. They were now three-story buildings.  The main burrow had operations and interrogation.  Whilst the old burrow was the garage for the vans and weapons.

Back in Steed Crater What On Earth Happened I Thought I Was Going To Catch The Steeds Uncle Bulgaria woke up covered in black soot in a very deep hole.  Suddenly Cathy arrived.  She stared at the crater.  “John, are you alright?” she called.  There was no reply.  Explaining Uncle Bulgaria explained.  Cathy went to the new Steed Manor before I’ve Got You Uncle Bulgaria could arrest her.