Halloween Hero (GAM376)

Noah Lugeons

Eli Bosnick

***Halloween Hero*** is the story of a widowed cop who's suicide attempt is interrupted by an orphaned eleven-year-old who knocks on his door, so he decides to just keep her, essentially. Oh, and it happens at Halloween, but that has literally zero bearing on anything that happens in this movie.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema, because it soothes the Great Basilisk and keeps him dormant.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you enjoyed *The Badge, the Bible, and Bigfoot* (the first entry of the Wright Family we reviewed on this podcast), but all the complicated twists and turns of its incredibly well-written plot left you confused, you will *love* this movie—because, it's about literally nothing happening.

### **Best Worst**

* Marsh: …budget saving measures. [It couldn't afford broken glass or a second calendar.]
* Noah: …credit padding. [18 seconds of a silent still shot per actor.]
* Eli: …black guy. [You will never feel bad for Ashely Wright ever again.]

### **Notes**

* Check out Marsh on Twitter, *Be Reasonable*, *Skeptics with a K*, *The Skeptic* (UK), and at The Good Thinking Society, or (thanks to Eli) Skeptic of the Year and MarshStoleHisVaccineFromAnOldLady.com.
* The Patreon version of this episode dropped late because Noah had been at QED and "Had to make it home from the UK before I could get a consistent enough internet connection to upload it."

### **Jokes**

* [Eli: I have a very upsetting question: this movie contains a jar of gefilte fish, Manashevits wine, and a sign that says "Shabbat Shalom." Is there any chance that the Wrights are *Jewish*?] [laugher] [Noah: Based on their filmmaking skills alone, I'm going to say no, Eli.] [Eli: Right? There *no*—maybe they were in hopes that it, like, would help them control the media. They were like, "No trust me, this worked for Steven… Speilheimer."]

### **Interstitials**

* Gather Round Kids, I Wrote Another Movie (6:02)
* Tony D's House of Suicidal Movie Guys (35:07)
* Buying a "Robber" Mask (1:00:24)
* Can't Spellcheck the Notes (1:25:59) [Post Credits]

### **Tropes**

* Boss in a Bit Part [All of the Parts]
* Behind on the Rent
* Cancer Wife/God Killed My Mom/Evil Stole My Faith
* Conspicuous American Flag
* Nothing Happens
* RACISM!
* This is YOUR Movie!
* Who's That Girl?
* World Without Black People

### **Breakfast Club Close**

* Marsh: Michael's casual approach to gun safety, and his evident propensity for sudden violence, went on to be just super awesome traits in a farmer.
* Noah: That Tupac mask was later invoked as some of David Owen's best friends in an argument.
* Eli: The Wrights have *still* made, like, five or six other movies, and I'm still going to watch every single damn one of them. [Ashley has 42 director's credits on IMBb].

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Episode on Patreon
* Film on YouTube
* IMDb

### **Ad Reads**

* Modest Needs: Vulgarity for Charity Mean-O-Meter (1:26:28) [Donate 50$+ and send your receipt/request to vulgarityFORcharity@gmail.com. Remember, Heath *loves* to do roasts for your dogs.]
* FitBod: Cheaper Than Those Other Things (1:28:48)