2023 Power Rankings-Week 7

## Introduction

The best team ever? Maybe through six weeks...Paddock 9 is 6-0 with 1514.88 points, but he's not the 2023 LOC champion just yet.

In week six, P9 became just the third team to break 1500 points through six weeks. He falls short of the all-time record, set in 2020 by Duck Punchers, by just 1.18 points.

Duck Punchers started that 2020 season a league-best 6-1, breaking 240 points in each of their wins. If LOC ended after seven weeks, Duck would have been champion.

But Duck Punchers finished that season a disappointing 7-6, winning just one of their last six games and breaking 185 points once in that stretch. It was a stunning reversal that nearly cost them a playoff spot. They finished tied with momma, Idiots, and Pain Train, and only managed to squeak in by virtue of their giant early season scoring bonanza. Momma, also at 7-6, missed the playoffs.

As the five seed, Duck caught fire yet again and made it all the way to the Glory Bowl before losing to the defending champion, Paddock 9. Just like this year's Mattness and momma, Paddock 9 had begun the 2020 season 4-2 through six weeks. They then lost week 7 to RIPDab to reach their low point (4-3). After that, they did not lose again until the following season.

The moral of the story? Champions aren't decided in October.

Elsewhere in the LOC, we had Duck Punchers finally break through with his first win of 2023. It's clear from his scoring (4th in the league) that this win was long overdue, and this thing was pretty much a no-doubter from the moment Kenneth Walked into the endzone for a second time.

Yes, all in all it was a down week as far as close competition, though it sets up week 7 quite nicely. 1st plays 2nd and 9th plays 10th, but those are just the marquee matchups. Further down the card, you have a pivotal game between Commish and Shotti as 4th plays 5th with 5th currently projected to win. And you have Duck Punchers looking to move up another spot by taking on Sweet Dee in a battle of 7th vs. 8th. The paradigm could be about to shift yet again in the LOC, as these close matchups will culminate in two primetime games this weekend with an insane amount at stake for all ten teams.

## Matchup Recap

* Paddock 9 completes the first double-header victory of 2023 with a sweep of the unlucky Papa's Posse (12-6). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* The Stupid Idiots moves back into 2nd place after a narrow victory over the spiraling Sweet Dee (6-3). **Next Matchup: Week 11**
* Ma ma momma said keeps the good times rolling, despite a down week of scoring, and buries the lackluster Pain Train (9-10). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* The Shotti Bunch gets their first win since 2019 against old rival RIPDab (14-10). **Next Matchup: Week 12**
* Duck Punchers gets their first win of 2023 by nearly earning blowout of the week against a reeling Multiverse of Mattness (13-9). **Next Matchup: N/A**

## Stat Chat

* 2023 marks the first time in LOC history that three teams are 1-5 or worse.
* Multiverse of Mattness becomes the 2nd team to reach 100 combined losses.
* Duck Punchers becomes the 1st team to reach 110 combined wins.
* Ma ma momma said is on a four-game win streak for the fourth consecutive season.
* Ma ma momma said breaks the record for most seasons with a win streak of 4+ games (9 seasons).
* Paddock 9 moves ahead of Papa's Posse on the all-time Double-Header Win start with a victory over Papa in week 6. It is the first DH win of the year and it keeps Paddock 9 alive for the seemingly unreachable DH Sweep (winning both legs of all five double-headers). His matchup with Stupid Idiots this week is NOT part of a DH, meaning even a loss keeps P9 alive for the coveted sweep.
* Paddock 9 has tied his team's longest win streak of all time (6 games), with a chance to best it this week against Stupid Idiots.
* Paddock 9 ties momma and Pain Train for the 3rd-most seasons with six or more wins (9 seasons). Momma seems poised to break that tie later this year.

## Double-Header Winners

Double-headers, for the uninformed, are the matchups against the teams you face twice in the regular season. We all face five teams twice every year.

* A "Double-Header Win" means you won both games of that season's double-header.

* A "Double-Header Loss" means you lost both.

* A "Double-Header Sweep" means you won all ten. This has never happened, though one team came close and P9 is eligible this year.

* A "DH Swept" means you lost all ten. You do notice one "swept." That is from 2011, when we only had two double-headers and Patrick lost all four of those games.

If Duck can find a way to get it together, they could become the first team to win 20 double-headers in LOC history. They are the only team who is eligible to win 20 DHs in 2023, since all the 15-win teams have already lost at least one leg of a double-header this season.

## Longest Win Streaks of All-Time (by Team)

\*championship year

Updated 10/21/23

## Longest Winning Streaks to Start a Season by Team - Updated

A monumental achievement this week, as Paddock 9 moves into 2nd all-time on the list of win streaks to start a season. Only one team has ever won more than five games to open a year, until now. Paddock 9 joins RIPDab on this elite list.

## Seasons with 4 or More Consecutive Wins by Team

Updated Through Week 6, 2023 (P9, MMS and TSI added)

Seasons of 4 or More Consecutive Wins by Team
 Duck Punchers
 The Shotti Bunch
 Paddock 9
 Pain Train
 Multiverse of Mattness
 RIPDab
 Papa's Posse
 The Stupid Idiots
 Sweet Dee

## This Time Last Year... (2022 Week Six Standings)

Papa shouldn't give up yet! He is in 9th place for the second season in a row, but he was able to rip off 6 wins after this point, enough to get him in position to finish as a Salty Dolphin champion.

## Above and Below

A chart to track how many games above/below projections for each team.

## Absolute Standings

Absolute Standings tracks the standings if the top five scoring teams won every week regardless of matchup.

### 2023

Papa continues to be a victim of the schedule, with a 4-2 absolute record and just a 1-5 actual record.

## Trade Center

This week, Paddock 9 and Pain Train completed their first trade since 2012.

Mattness and Pain Train completed their first trade in their franchise histories.

The two trades effectively ended Pain Train's season, draining him of his top talent and depleting his 1-5 roster. However, they loaded him with picks for 2023 and Paddock 9's trade also included keeper prospect Zay Flowers.

A few weeks ago, I spoke about the possible need to curtail tank trades in the LOC. It has become commonplace, moreso than in other leagues I'm in, for bad teams to sell around this point in the season. I don't like the idea of fully policing these exchanges, because it's non-collusive and it's an aspect of the game that allows for bottom-feeder teams to potentially be next season's powerhouses. And this season's powerhouses are at huge disadvantages come next year's draft. I use the term powerhouse loosely in the case of Mattness, who at 4-2 has been limping his way to irrelevance since his loss to Stupid Idiots.

The downside of this is, of course, that is creates an uneven playing field because all ten teams aren't participating in these transactions. All ten teams have two keepers. All ten teams have 17 picks. And yes, all ten teams have the opportunity to TRY and swing a deal. But not all 10 teams are in a position to 1.) trade for massive talent, without giving up talent, or 2.) trade for a massive pick haul. But that's also part of the dyanmic of Fantasy Football. You have to make your own luck in this world. Pain Train and Papa are both 1-5, but only one of them has five picks in the first three rounds. And then you have a seemingly unstoppable team, Paddock 9, going all-in and snagging the best TE in the game, furthering his position atop the leaderboard.

As Commish, I hate to see the best team in the league get Travis Kelce. But as a manager, I'm happy to be getting DJ Moore to bolster my roster after a rash of WR injuries. And I can't have it both ways. So where does this leave the LOC for the future? I constantly struggle with when to be the dictator, and when to be the President. As a dictator, if I make a decision unilaterally it's impossible not to see the ways in which it works to my own benefit. I say "no trading picks until week 7" and then that very Tuesday I'm the first guy to complete a trade for picks. On the other hand, I have a responsibility as Commissioner to make the league as competitive as possible, regardless of how much it might compromise my own position as a manager.

I think the best solution is for everyone to have a good think on it, and then open the floor to discussion at the end of the year. Hopefully we can all agree on what is best for the LEAGUE, not necessarily what is best for one specific team. Player-for-pick trades following the 2023 season may be up for debate, but we don't change rules midseason. So for now we play on!

## Trade Tracker

Starts (Paddock 9):

* 2

Starts (RIPDab)

* 3

An unfortunate week for RIPDab. But on the bright side...they lost their matchup by 33.10 points. The difference in scoring between Kupp and Nacua was only 31 points. So sleep tight, this trade did not lead directly to this loss.

### 1(1). Paddock 9

How's it Going?: Better than Expected.

Life is good for Paddock. Like the wise Eminem once said, when it's going good, it's going great. Fantasy is all about hot streaks, and he's on one. Right now the only thing that Hurts is Jalen. His Kupp runneth over. He's been Raheeming teams (get it, reaming?) all year, and shows no signs of stopping. All kinds of puns. But therein lies the problem. We have had other teams look like this in October. The season runs until January. Paddock 9 also happens to be the healthiest team in the league, and unless we has a magical forcefield surrounding his roster, there are bound to be some bumps along the road to victory. Once such bump will come in week 10, when Hurts, Brown, Kelce, Mostert, and Kupp all have a bye.

### 2(2). Ma ma momma said

How's it Going? About as Expected.

Keeping with tradition, momma came out looking like a lame cuckaduck and then quickly adjusted and has ripped off a month's worth of victories in a row. They battled injuries in week 6 and it resulted in the lowest scoring winning total of the week, and this week they battle injuries and byes against RIPDab. But a win this week with no Chase, Henry, Connor or Achane will cement them as a legitimate contender.

### 3(3). Duck Punchers

How's it Going? Worse than Expected.

They call him Walker III because he seems to score three TDs every time he plays Mattness. They call him Travis EatinAgain because every week he seems to be turning more and more into a bellcow. Remember when people thought Tank Bigsby might be a thing? Anyway, Duck is dangerous. I'm telling you guys, he's dangerous. If I'm me (which I am), I'd be worried about him going on a run and usurping my spot in the playoffs. He is maybe the scariest 1-5 team in LOC history, and 3 of his next 5 matchups are against the teams in 7th, 9th, and 10th.

### 4(4). The Stupid Idiots

How's it Going? Better than Expected and Also Somehow Worse.

Idiots quietly had their best regular game score of the season in week six, scoring the most regular season points by their team since week 10 of the 2022 season. But that comes with a caveat. He's still one of only three teams that hasn't broken 230 points this year, and his record can at least partly be attributed to his strength of victory...he's 5th in scoring and has faced the 4th-fewest points against. Middle of the pack, but 5-1. And 5-1 is on the cusp of playoff lock, with reinforcements on the way. Diontae Johnston is designated to return from IR, and Barkley is also back in the lineup.

### 5(7). The Shotti Bunch

How's it Going? About as Expected.

Shotti has oscillated between looking like the team that won four Glory Bowls, and looking like the team that has lost seven or more games in four of their last five seasons. They following up their 300+ performance with 175.90. Earlier this year, they followed up a 245 with a 148, and a 200 with a 143. The bad news for everyone is that they claimed victory during their 175 week, and are now teed up for another huge performance against Mattness to get above .500.

### 6(6). Multiverse of Mattness

How's it Going? Worse than Expected

After looking unstoppable in their 3-0 start, Mattness has failed to break 170 points since September 25th. Every other team has broken 200 at least once in that span. It's true they have had issues each week. Deebo leaving early this week. Herbert on the bye last week. Waddle out the week before. But this isn't looking like the badass team that was billed immediately after the draft concluded a short while ago. it remains to be seen if the addition of DJ Moore will be enough to get them back in the conversation for potential champions.

### 7(5). RIPDab

How's it Going? Worse than Expected

It's a question that will keep Dab up at night (if his daughter doesn't do that already). Should he have held Kupp one more week? That has to be on everybody's mind now that Puka Nacua turned in his first Poopa Nacua performance. But I think ultimately you have to conclude that no, this was worth it, and Nacua is bound to have some big games while Kupp turns in a turd or two. But for now, it's something to stew on. Dab had broken 200 in 3 of 4 games leading into this one, and collectively the team dropped the ball. Gabe Davis is proving to be the boom or bust spokesperson, and Curtis "CMC" Samuel was riding the pine despite breaking 20 in each of his last two games, but as soon as you put him in the lineup he's going to crap the bed so WTF do you do? It's a roller coaster lineup.

### 8(8). Papa's Posse

How's it Going? Depends How You Look at Things

Papa benched two wins early, and then has performed in the top-five almost every week, but has faced an insane 1490.51 points against and cannot catch a break with the schedule. If the team performs this way moving forward, than we are set up for yet another late season run by Papa that will culminate in either a miracle playoff appearance or a heartbreaking season finale. The loss of David Montgomery this week will surely hurt, but they are set to take on Pain Train, new and unimproved, so this should be a get right game (or a dagger to the heart).

### 9(10). Sweet Dee

How's it Going? Worse than Expected

Here we are again. A win streak to start and then a losing streak in October that takes them right out of the game, both mentally and in the standings. It's still early, but given the makeup of this roster, this week is really a defining moment for their season. If they can't take down 1-5 Duck Punchers, especially with both other 1-5 teams playing each other, this could be it for them in 2023. It's a shame because their team played great in week 6, outside of Small Booty Jeudy who even Steve Smith Sr. has now said he fucking hates. Everybody else broke 12 points, even CMC who got hurt mid-game. Ekeler is back, Burrow is looking okay. Things are trending in the right direction, it just might already be too late.

### 10(9). Pain Train

How's it Going? Worse than Expected...way worse

It's always tough when you lose games early in the season that you should have won, whether it be due to you catching the highest scorer on the week when you're the 2nd highest, or catching a team on a really shitty week but then you both your lineup and bench an easy win. Without doing too much research, it sort of seems like that's what happened to Pain Train (currently going as PAIN). The worst part is that losing in September is losing with your full compliment of players. People are healthy. No byes. Then you get into the meat of the season and have to find ways to win with all those added factors. I get it. Life sucks. Better luck in 2024 with all those delicious picks.

## Matchup of the Week: Pursuit of Perfection (Paddock 9 vs. The Stupid Idiots)

Based on projection? Yeah, maybe not the best matchup on paper. But storylines? Cannot be beat.

Paddock 9 is on the cusp of tying RIPDab's record for most wins to start a season (7). Seven is also a magic number in the LOC...if you win 7 games you are almost guaranteed a playoff spot. Since the extra game was added, this hasn't been a sure thing, but with Paddock 9's current scoring total it would be a shock if he both went 7-7 and also lost out on a tiebreaker to another 7-7 team. Basically, he wins this game, he's in the playoffs.

Add to that the fact that this is a battle of 1st and 2nd, with momma and Mattness lurking close behind hoping to jump over Idiots if they are to lose.

Finally, the coup de gras, is the Sunday night matchups of Miami vs. Philadelphia. That will pit Tua against Hurts in what should be an exciting game for both fantasy and real life football.

## Survivor Update - Week 6

Papa is eliminated in Survivor this week after the surprise loss by San Francisco.
Shotti continues to have success and is unscatched with a pick of the Los Angeles Rams in week 6.

## Primetime Preview

There is so much action in the primetime games, that it's worth outlining the implications for each matchup.

This week, a diabolical THIRTY-TWO players will take the field in primetime for the 10 teams in the LOC. Yes, that's pending some injury news, and that number could even go up (I'm not counting Ahmed for Nate, come on get that fucker out of there). But 32....including at least one player in every matchup in every game. Let me rephrase that...for all three primetime games, at least one player is going in every matchup. In most cases, a player is going for each team. This is truly going to be a week to remember!

### Paddock (1) vs. Idiots (2)

**Total primetime players: *7***

* TNF
	+ Idiots: Rasheed Shaheed
* SNF (battle of QBs)
	+ P9: Jalen Hurts, AJ Brown, Raheem Mostert
	+ Idiots: Tua Tagovailoa
* MNF
	+ P9: TJ Hockenson
	+ Idiots: SF Defense

Analysis: Idiots is a huge underdog in this game, so he needs to set the pace with Shaheed on Thursday night. Then, in a battle on Sunday night, Paddock 9 will unleash his three best players against the might of the league's top offense for Idiots. If this is remotely close, it could come down to whether Hockenson is heavily featured vs. San Francisco in a wild finish. Any time defenses are involved, it is always ripe for a gut punch.

### ma ma momma said (3) vs. RIPDab (6)

**Total Primetime Players: *9***

* TNF (a battle of Saints WRs)
	+ MMS: Michael Thomas, Evan Engram
	+ RIP: Chris Olave
* SNF
	+ MMS: DeVonta Smith, Philly Defense
	+ RIP: Dallas Goedert, Jason Sanders
* MNF
	+ MMS: Alexander Mattison
	+ RIP: Jordan Addison

Analysis: An insane 9 primetime players in this matchup. This is perhaps the biggest matchup for Thursday night, when every time Carr throws the ball it could be ending up in the hands of either MT or Olave. On the other side of the ball, we'll see how the Lawrence injury affects Evan Engram for Momma. On Sunday night, WR2 and TE1 for Philly go head-to-head. Often, one goes off per game but not both. This could swing the matchup in someone's favor. On MNF, to cap things off, each team once again has a player going on the same offense. This time, it's the WR1 and the RB1 for the Vikings.

### Multiverse of Mattness (4) vs. The Shotti Bunch (5)

**Total Primetime Players: *8***

* TNF
	+ TSB: Calvin Ridley, Alvin Kamara
* SNF (Battle of Dolphin WRs)
	+ Commish: Jaylen Waddle
	+ TSB: Tyreek Hill, D'Andre Swift
* MNF
	+ Commish: Deebo Samuel, Jake Moody
	+ TSB: George Kittle

Analysis: The duo of -Alvins for Shotti start off the week and will either give him a huge lead or put him in a huge hole as they are two of the top scorers on his roster. It will be tough to watch for fans of the Commish. On SNF, Shotti has a huge advantage with Tyreek Hill and Swift going against Jaylen Waddle, which means Mattness will need to build a lead during the 1pm games. MNF is a terrifying finale, as Deebo is injured and is still not confirmed to be playing, while Kittle's usage depends a lot on the status of CMC and Samuel, with Aiyuk also set to siphon looks. Jake Moody missed two FGs in week 6, can he be trusted with the matchup on the line?

### Sweet Dee (7) vs. Duck Punchers (8)

**Total Primetime Players: *5***

* TNF
	+ DP: Travis Eteinne Jr., Jacksonville Defense
* SNF
	+ SD: Miami Defense
* MNF
	+ SD: Christian McCaffery, Brandon Aiyuk

Analysis: There are only so many players to go around, and this matchup only features five in primetime, but they are big ones. Both teams will unleash their top scoring non-QB player in primetime. Duck Punchers roles out Travis to kick things off, and Dee finishes things up on Monday with CMC (barring an injury setback). Both defenses will take the field as well, first Duck's on Thursday and then Dee's on Sunday. It may be the lowest number of primetime players of the five matchups, but they pack a massive punch.

### Papa's Posse (9) vs. Pain Train (10)

**Total Primetime Players: *3***

* TNF
	+ PT: Christian Kirk
* SNF
	+ PT: Jake Elliot
* MNF
	+ PP: Kirk Cousins

Analysis: Well, it just makes all the sense in the world that the last place teams don't have much skin in the game when some of the league's best teams face off in primetime. But there is still some work to be done. Christian Kirk is probably the best player that Pain Train has left, so that's a good way to start the week. And then, just to make sure every matchup is involved in every game, Jake Elliot will kick for Pain on Sunday night. To finish off the week, Kirk Cousins takes the stage for Papa in hopes of claiming a crucial second win for the Posse.

## Conclusion

Remember when I thought I was starting work!? Not yet, fuckers! Keep the long writeups coming. Maybe I should be doing LOC Gameday Morning...?