Journey Back to Oz - Musical Hell Review 118

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* This episode of Musical Hell is brought to you by Midnight Musicals: welcome to the podcast musical underground. And by Cafe Himbo cookbooks, celebrating his 10th anniversary. Thank you.

**Diva:** Greetings, mortals. Welcome to another session of the Infernal Court in Musical Hell. I'm Diva: your judge, jury, executioner... and really, why is it so difficult to do a decent Oz sequel? \*voiceover\* It's not like there isn't a lot of source material to work with, with some forty books alone written by L. Frank Baum and assorted authors endorsed by his estate. And yet, with a few notable exceptions: (*cut to pictures of...)* a "Return to Oz" here, a "Wicked" there, attempts to expand the Oz canon on film and stage have been a mixed bag at best.

*Cut to a movie poster for the famous 1939 film adaptation of "The Wizard of Oz".*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Frankly, I blame the 1939 movie. It's such an indelible pop-culture touchstone, that most adaptations don't feel comfortable straying from its characters and style.

*Cut to a movie poster for the 1972 animated pseudo-sequel by Filmation, "Journey Back to Oz".*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* This is certainly the case of our next offender, "Journey Back to Oz". Dating back to the early days of Filmation Studios, "Journey Back to Oz" began in 1962 as the company's first feature film project, but ran out of funding and sat uncompleted for eight years before television success granted them enough funds to complete the project and release it a full *decade* after its inception, which is quite a long timeline for any movie that doesn't have *(cut to photos of...)* Terry Gilliam or Richard Williams attached to it. What this movie does have an attachment to is the classic 1939 film, which it seeks to emulate down to Liza Minelli stepping into her mother's ruby slippers.

*Cut to Liza Minelli's voice credit in the film.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* The movie couldn't replicate its predecessor's success, though it did have a decent life in television where it was interspersed with live-action framing stories featuring the Wizard, who depending on when and where you saw it, was played by *(cut to a black and white photo of...)* Milton Berle or-

*Cut to a photo of the infamous comedian and media personality, Bill Cosby.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover, shuddering\* Guuuuh! There's a 'yikes' that was more timely than I expected. Anyway, neither of them appear in the DVD version, so let's leave that aside and examine the case of "Journey Back to Oz".

## **Review**

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* We start out with some nice "Watership Down"-esque backgrounds and some rather clunky exposition. It seems yet another storm is approaching the Gale homestead, and everyone is battening down the hatches... except for Dorothy, and Uncle Henry is complaining that she needs to get off her keister and get with the child labor already.

**Uncle Henry (Paul Ford):** I'm not being harsh on her, Emily! I just want her to use her two God-given hands like everybody else around here!

**Diva:** Unfortunately, the characters are not up to the same standard as the backgrounds.

* **Sin 1: Subpar Character Design**

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Most of them look and move like they came from the Hanna-Barbera reject pile.

*Cut to an image featuring a crowd of Hanna-Barbera characters.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Aunt Em, a cameo by the OG Wicked Witch herself, *(cut to a still of the voice credit for...)* Margaret Hamilton, finds Dorothy off daydreaming about what happened the last time a twister blew through, and being an adult, Em is all, "You kids and your wild imaginations!"

**Aunt Em (Margaret Hamilton):** There is no land of Oz, except maybe in your dreams. Oz just doesn't exist.

**Dorothy Gale (Liza Minelli):** Oh, it does, Aunt Em! It does exist!

**Diva:** \*voiceover, dubbing over Aunt Em and Dorothy\* "Silly girl, Oz isn't real!" "Is so!" "Is not!" "Is so!" Insulted that her aunt doesn't believe that she was carried away to a parallel universe of living scarecrows and witch murder, Dorothy consoles herself with Toto and Sin number two, "A Faraway Land".

* **Sin 2: "A Faraway Land"**

*Dorothy sings her song while assembling effigies of the Scarecrow and Tin Woodman, respectively.*

Dorothy: \*singing\* There's a faraway land,

a faraway land,

where daydreams and wishes,

and rainbows are planned

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* This song is desperately trying to be the movie's "Over the Rainbow", but ends up being the reason why "Over the Rainbow" almost got cut from the film. It's a tedious ballad that slows down the story, and with only 75 minutes to work with, we can't afford to linger. After the song ends, the wind picks up, the twister blows in, and Dorothy is knocked unconscious as it picks her up, and- seriously, you couldn't figure out another way to get her to Oz?

*Cut to a photo of the "Oz" books written by L. Frank Baum.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Baum came up with about four or five alternate routes, throw a dart and pick one! Anyway, after a title sequence that gives us plenty of time to appreciate the sheer amount of talent being put to little purpose here, Dorothy wakes up in the 'Pastoral Symphony' sequence from "Fantasia".

**Dorothy:** You know what?... I don't think we're in Kansas at all.

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* No, sorry. I gave you a pass with the "Over the Rainbow" knockoff and the tornado repeat, but here's where it becomes obvious you're lifting as much from the 1939 film as you can, which I take as a sign that you don't trust your own ability to make a good Oz movie, and instead are depending on the audience's fond memories of its most famous adaptation to keep you going.

* **Sin 3: Follow the Leader**

**Dorothy:** Let's go find the Scarecrow immediately!

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* I mean, sure. How big can Oz be anyway? Indeed, Dorothy comes across a signpost and finds it unhelpful, especially since like so many things in Oz, it's anthropomorphic and therefore can be actively unhelpful as well.

**Signpost (Jack E. Leonard):** \*singing\* When people venture forth,

they know their south from their north

They seldom carry a diagram

**Diva:** \*voiceover, sighs\* I miss Ray Bolger...

*Cut to a scene from "The Wizard of Oz" of Ray Bolger as the Scarecrow dancing.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Dorothy, having the sense to not make a travelling companion out of this guy, strikes out on her own and immediately stumbles into your standard spooky-faced tree forest.

*Dorothy is surprised by a sentient figure with a pumpkin for a head, aptly named Jack Pumpkinhead, who was hiding in some foliage.*

**Dorothy:** Oh, my goodness! You're alive!

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Sweet Lucifer, Dorothy! You have friends made of straw, and tin, and you just had a random encounter with a singing signpost! You should know how this place works by now! This is (Jack) Pumpkinhead, who is hiding out from his creator and cruel taskmaster, Mombi, apparently the wickedest witch in all of Oz. Dorothy, who took out the last two claimants to that title without really trying, is understandably rather chill about this new contender.

**Dorothy:** We mustn't let her find you. You just come with me to the Emerald City and meet my friend, the Scarecrow.

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Since Dorothy's got an in with Oz's reigning monarch, this tactic has a lot more justification behind it this time. Before they can go off to see the Wiz- er, Scarecrow, Toto spies a cat and gives chase, despite Pumpkinhead's warning that the cat is Mombi's and should be avoided. So, Dorothy chases Toto to a suitably witchy cottage, where she acts like she's never been in a witch's inner sanctum before.

*A voice gets Dorothy's attention, which is revealed to have come from Mombi's pet crow.*

**Crow (Mel Blanc):** Psst, hey. \*caws\* Want the two-dollar tour?

**Dorothy:** Oh... it's you. You can speak.

**Diva:** \*voiceover, groans in frustration\* Again with the... never mind. This crow is Mombi's other pet, and he introduces Dorothy to the witch's latest project: a cauldron full of elephants that, much like this movie, are only half-baked at present. This is enough to convince Dorothy that she needs to get the here out of there, but before she can, Mombi herself arrives.

**Mombi (Ethel Merman):** You must be hungry, my dear. Let me get you something to eat.

**Dorothy:** No, thank you very much.

**Diva:** And at Sin number four, she is a *major* disappointment.

* **Sin 4: Mombi**

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Her design looks like it's a five-minute copy job from *(cut to an image of...)* an old Halloween decoration, but even worse is that she is a *criminal* misuse of the great Ethel Merman. She is trying, opposition bless her, but even the full weight of her inimitable style isn't enough to overcome the dumb, *dumb* numbers she's given.

**Mombi:** \*singing\* An elephant never forgets

An elephant never forgets,

but please don't ask us to say

specifically what

If you're gonna be a witch, be a witch

Not a wishy-washy witch, but a witch

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Despite her obvious terror, Dorothy is far too polite to do anything but say 'no thank you' to Mombi's sinister pretense of hospitality. And before she can get away, Mombi discovers who she is and is immediately set on revenge, as the wicked witch sisters from the last story were her cousins. And being committed to the evil basics, she immediately outlines her dastardly scheme to Dorothy, which amounts to using her magic green elephants to storm the Emerald City and overthrow the Scarecrow.

**Dorothy:** How can you *think* of hurting the Scarecrow?

*Cut to a clip of Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank in "Mystery Science Theater 3000" episode 301, "Cave Dwellers".*

**Both:** What do you want from us? We're evil! EVIL!

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Mombi and her hench-crow decide to throw Toto into the elephant pot for evil funsies, but the fire is dying out and since Pumpkinhead doesn't answer the calls for more wood, they have to go out and get it themselves, which gives Pumpkinhead enough time to rescue Dorothy and help her elude Mombi on her broomstick. Fortunately, Mombi gives up the chase easily because we're only a third of the way in and she can manage with ominous threats for the time being. Realizing her dear friend and indeed the entire land of Oz is in danger, Dorothy realizes there's only one thing to do: sing about relentless positivity.

**Dorothy:** \*singing\* I tell me

don't be preoccupied

with things on the gloomy side

Your troubles are mostly magnified

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* This sounds like it should be the soundtrack to the 'Liza tries to turn off a lamp' sketch.

*Cut to a clip from the "Saturday Night Live" sketch featuring Kristen Wiig as Liza Minelli while the song continues playing.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Anyway, we need another traveling companion to round out this cast, so here's an upside-down carousel horse.

**Jack Pumpkinhead (Paul Lynde):** Oh, are you stuck?

**Woodenhead (Herschel Bernardi):** What do you think I'm doin' like this, bird watching?

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* This is Woodenhead... Dorothy's friends are defined by cranial matter this time around, I guess, and his sad backstory is that he's been ill-suited for all the usual equine professions. This led him to joining the merry-go-round circuit, which leads to Sin number five, the audio equivalent of motion sickness.

* **Sin 5: \*hurk\***

**Woodenhead:** \*singing\* Around and round

and up and down

From village to village,

from town to town

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Anyone else need a Dramamine? \*trying not to puke\* You know the routine, Dorothy invites him to join her cohort and maybe land a cushy new job, and once Woodenhead gets all the left-hand turns out of his system, they make good time to the Emerald City, where the Scarecrow is putting his new brains to use.

**Scarecrow (Mickey Rooney):** \*working on a crossword puzzle\* Nine-letter word beginning with 'S'... nine-letter word beginning with 'S'...

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* I know the Wizard didn't give him anything he didn't already have, but he should still ask for a refund. Turns out the Scarecrow is regretting getting a brain and having to think for himself, which makes him a prime candidate for *(cut to an image of...)* Tucker Carlson's demographic. But he's not so discontent with his position that he's willing to hand the throne over to Mombi.

**Scarecrow:** She can't do that! It's unconstitutional!

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Yep, definitely a future Fox News viewer. But like it or not, Mombi and the green elephants are now at his doorstep, and their attempt to sneak out the back entrance doesn't get very far. Scarecrow and Toto are captured, forcing the rest of the party to beat a hasty retreat.

**Jack Pumpkinhead:** If we get back, we'll just be captured, too! What good will that do?

**Dorothy:** \*thinking\* We'll have to use our wits!

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Now, now, no sense going into battle unarmed.

*A rimshot is heard.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* They finally manage to escape by going through a low-clearance gate and causing a "Blues Brothers"-style pileup behind them, but 'Fisher King syndrome' sets in pretty quickly in Oz, and Mombi's coup has the whole place looking all red-skied and ominous. Dorothy decides to seek assistance from the next old friend on her checklist, so while Mombi and crow watch from her all-seeing plot crystal, we follow Dorothy and her new companion to Tinland.

**Border Gate:** \*speaking in a high-pitched voice\* Welcome to Tinland.

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* O-kay, you're frightening. The Tin Man is doing all right for himself, ruling over a little slice of Oz that's a sort of 50s robotic utopia; 'Jetsonspunk', if you will. And he promises to do anything for Dorothy within reason, but it turns out 'help me kill another witch' isn't covered by that criteria, especially when he learns that her army is made up of elephants...

*The Tin Woodman has a sudden fantasy sequence involving robotic green elephants with steamrollers.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* ...which he seems to think are giant steamrollers?

* **Sin 6: Sidelining the Original Characters**

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* We need to have a talk about the way Dorothy's original companion trio is handled in this movie- or rather, mishandled- because we're going to go through this whole business again with the Cowardly Lion. He's happy to see Dorothy, he offers to help, then he backs out when he learns elephants are involved and has a subpar cartoon chase freakout. It's never really explained *why* the elephants are the deal-breaker in this case, which makes it seem like they were just looking for an excuse to keep the original characters on the sidelines. But also, they continue on the Scarecrow's theme of reconsidering their initial desires. The Tin Man finds having a heart means you get taken advantage of, and the Lion realizes being courageous makes you a target for bullies.

*Cut to another scene from "The Wizard of Oz" of the Wizard giving a diploma to the Scarecrow.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Look, we all know the original "Wizard of Oz" is a journey of self-empowerment rather than a quest for magical wish fulfillment. But since nobody who writes these sequels ever seems to remember that, the whole 'be careful what you wish for' angle could have been interesting, if anything had actually been done with it, but there wasn't. We get some laments that I guess are supposed to be the counterpart of the "If I Only Had a" song cycle, but the issue is dropped along with the characters themselves for the remainder of the movie.

*Cut to a clip from the Broadway musical, "Into the Woods".*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Imagine if the second act of "Into the Woods" had been so half-assed, that you envied the people who thought the show was over and left during intermission. That's the experience of watching this movie. Long story short, Dorothy's old friends don't have anything to offer beyond thoughts and prayers, but her options aren't completely exhausted as Lion points out the benefits of having a witch on their side, and suggests seeking Glinda's help. And Dorothy doesn't even have to go anywhere, as Glinda's ability to turn up based on the demands of the plot ensures that she poofs in almost immediately.

**Dorothy:** I was just wishing you were here!

**Glinda the Good Witch (Risë Stevens):** I know, that's what brought me.

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Turns out Glinda has her own plot-monitoring device, in this case a bird with a 'tattle tail' that can live feed anywhere in Oz. And she's willing to provide assistance, but as you may recall, Glinda is all about Dorothy working things out on her own, so she provides a little ballad to that effect.

**Glinda:** \*singing\* You have you and you alone

You're the magic glass you look through

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* With Dorothy having picked up on the moral of the story: something something 'believe in yourself' or whatever, Glinda provides her with a magic box that must only be opened within the Emerald City, and only during a time of dire emergency. Woodenhead has a handy storage compartment to keep the plot device for the time being, and Dorothy and her new *less* fair-weather friends race back to the capitol. Unfortunately, Mombi has been monitoring the 'hero's journey' channel as well, and enchants the forest trees to attack them.

**Jack Pumpkinhead:** This is Mombi's magic, I can tell! Let's open the silver box and use Glinda's magic!

**Woodenhead:** Ah-ah, Glinda said open only in the Emerald City!

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* With Dorothy resisting the temptation to fall back on the magic plot device before it's time, it looks like she and her friends will have to take the lessons they've learned, and find a way out of this them- nope, Glinda's going to solve this problem for them, too. It's *your* moral, Glinda. You couldn't hold to it for five fucking minutes?

* **Sin 7: Really, Glinda?**

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Glinda's assistance this time comes in the form of a golden hatchet, which doesn't harm the trees, so much as turn them into colorful and somehow even creepier trees. Nice one, Glinda. Our heroes make their way to the Emerald... well, it's more of an *Onyx* City now, and are immediately cornered by Mombi's elephants, which Dorothy decides is a dire enough emergency to bring out the plot device.

**Woodenhead:** Hurry, hurry!

**Dorothy:** \*pulling on his saddle\* It won't open!

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Yes, the climax to our movie involves dealing with a stuck drawer. But Dorothy retrieves the box, which is full of- what else?- magic mice that drive the elephants into a blind panic. But Mombi herself needs to be dealt with, as she's terrorizing her captives with inadequate villain songs and plans for their demise, condemning Scarecrow to be dismantled and burned, and whipping up a potion that will shrink Toto into a cat snack. How can her designs be thwarted?

*One of the magic mice runs up to Mombi.*

**Mombi:** Eek, a mouse!

*She shrieks and accidentally douses her pet crow with the shrinking potion.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* That's it? Your evil witch got freaked out by a *mouse?*

*Cut to a third scene from "The Wizard of Oz" of the Wicked Witch of the West melting.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* I didn't think you could have a more pathetic weakness than a light shower, but here we are. But we're not done yet. With her army deserting and her pets shrunk, Mombi retreats through the secret exit, with Dorothy and company in hot pursuit. Having nowhere to run, Mombi disguises herself as a rose... with poison thorns, of course, because evil. But that doesn't fool Toto, who somehow manages to steer the elephant stampede in her direction.

**Mombi:** I'm crushed... withering...

*A single leaf falls to the ground as Mombi dies.*

* **Sin 8: That's all you got?**

*Cut to a scene from "Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July" of Winterbolt turning into a tree.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* ...If I had a nickel for every time the villain in a bad sequel featuring Ethel Merman had a disappointing, plant-based demise... uh, you know how the rest of the meme goes.

*Cut to an image of the 'If I had a nickel' meme featuring Dr. Doofenshmirtz from "Phineas and Ferb".*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* The Emerald City is restored, Scarecrow is in charge again until a nice transgender girl can come in and take over, and Dorothy is hailed as a hero despite having done jack-all. But the joy is short-lived as Mombi's magic has died with her, and unfortunately the enchantment that brought Pumpkinhead to life falls under that category.

*Cut to the Emerald City throne room, where Glinda appears once again.*

**Dorothy:** Oh, Glinda, Glinda! I'm- I'm so unhappy!

**Glinda:** There, there, now.

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Alas, Glinda's magic is no use here, because... look, it just isn't, okay? I'm not sure what the rules are governing Glinda's interference, but narrative causality seems to play a big part. But Dorothy's tears and some vague love and faith mojo do the trick, so it's all good. Woodenhead is named Royal Stallion, Pumpkinhead is promoted to Minister of Agriculture- sure, give the plant the plant-based job- and Dorothy expresses her longing to return home.

**Dorothy:** \*singing\* There's a sad, little feeling you feel

when you stub your toe...

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* Hard to believe Sammy Cahn did the lyrics to this. I think he just kind of gave up on this one. Without any ruby slippers on hand, it's determined the only way Dorothy can leave Oz is to go back the way she came. It's in the constitution for some reason, the movie's almost over, so I'm not questioning it. Glinda is able to magic up a cyclone, which drops Dorothy right back in 'it was all a dream, or was it?' territory.

*The film ends with Dorothy running back to her aunt and uncle at sunset.*

## **The Verdict**

**Diva:** Filmation should have just stuck with Saturday morning cartoons. "Journey Back to Oz" feels like a bad home movie knockoff, which since it came *before* the home movie era makes it even more disappointing. Despite having notable names attached- not only Merman and Minelli, but also Milton Berle, Paul Lynde, Mickey Rooney, Paul Ford, Mel Blanc, and the composing team of Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen- the movie gives its talented roster nothing to work with. Therefore, the court of Musical Hell orders the following punishments. \*voiceover\* For not giving very talented singers anything they could use, Cahn and Van Heusen are condemned to hear their entire catalogue sung by *(cut to a photo of...)* Lee Marvin. For having no idea what this movie was supposed to be saying, writers Fred Ladd, Norm Prescott, and Bernard Evslin are condemned to suffer the worst of bad internet takes.

*Cut to a random tweet from Andrew Tate.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* And finally, for having a disappointing career and an even more disappointing end, this adaptation's incarnation of Mombi is condemned to exist as a rose on Troll Queen Gnorga's backside.

*Cut to a clip from "A Troll in Central Park" of Gnorga transforming into a rosebush.*

**Diva:** \*voiceover\* So, let it be recorded. This session of the Infernal Court in Musical Hell is now adjourned.