Anaconda.exe

Anaconda.exe

New music videos are some of
the most watched videos on Youtube. Especially with the more famous
artists among today's world. One of those artists are Nicki Minaj. I
bet you're familiar with her videos. They usually consist of nothing
but “booty shakin' hoes” all over the place. If you know Nicki
Minaj, then you also probably know her newest music video, with her
her new song, Anaconda. The video was bad enough with nothing but
plastic flying around the place, but her awful singing topped it off.
I also won't DARE to mention the... “one part.” If you've seen
the video, you know the nightmare inducing scene I won't dare speak
off. Yeah. You probably know. I shivering just thinking about that
part. Fucking scary shit right there.

One day, I was checking my
Skype to see if I had any new messages, and I got a message from a
new user. His/her name was iliketacos227 and his profile was of a
teddy bear. He sent me a strange file. It was called “Anaconda.exe.”
I thought it was strange for someone to just send me a file and not
even send me a message of any information about why they want to talk
to me in the first place. I then sent him a message asking “Who the
fuck actually are you?” He then replied “If I were to tell you,
I'd have to kill you.” I made no reply. I turned on my anti- virus,
and proceeded to click the file. It was a video of Nicki Minaj's
Anaconda video. I fucking hated Nicki Minaj and her stupid booty hoe
action. I shit my pants already since that shit gave me nightmares
about plastic asses in my face, but I procceeded on.

The video started off as
normal, in the forest, except it was a little different. First of
all, it was dark which I thought was a little odd. Instead of having
a ton of big booty hoes all over the fucking forest, which makes me
even more scared of the woods and forests in general, but instead
there was just Nicki Minaj there. She wasn't even shaking her fat ass
like she always does. Now she was just staring at the camera, looking
as pissed off as shit. Then it cut to the cooking part with the
whipped cream all over her artificial boobies. She still continued to
do this. Shortly after, I heard the Sir Mix a Lot line that I found
to be the only decent part of the song play, but then Nicki Minaj
pulled out an anaconda, and started to bite off its head. I was glad
that it cut shortly, because I was almost ready to puke. It then went
out of order from the video, since it went to the whipped cream part.
She still poured it all on her inflatable boobies, but this was also
different. This time she started to pour all of it in her mouth. I
could here her gagging, like she couldn't take it anymore. I could
also hear a quite whispering say “Keep going!” behind the camera.
Then it cut to the workout scene. She then started dropping the
weights on her feet, before she screamed in pain. I actually laughed
my ass off at this part because that shit was fucking funny, I don't
care who you are. I wasn't the only one, since I could here a small
laughing or chuckle from the camera man. Nicki Minaj was fucking
furious at this, and went behind the camera to kick that guy's poor
ass. I started to laugh again. I was wondering whether this was
supposed to be scary, or a parody. After five minutes of looking at
the back round, Nicki Minaj comes back carrying the man, and then
making his head grind on her crotch. She does this for a bit, and I
could see blood coming from his mouth and onto her pants. She
proceeded to lick it from his mouth. I was thinking, “Is he dead?”
This is where I knew this wasn't something normal. I got truly scared
here. Mabey he was the same guy making her swallow whipped cream. I
don't actually know, or really care. In some sorta way, he kinda
deserved that. Well they're both assholes. End of story.

It then started to cut
between the different scene rapidly between the three scenes of her
biting the snake, grinding that man's head like she was a
skateboarder (OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH), and the whipped cream scene, except
now she was spraying it from her crotch now, making it look like she
was sexually climaxing all over the room. That actually made me
laugh. Now music from the song was starting to play. It was “Oh my
gosh, look at her butt” part. This time it was going much faster
than the original song, and was getting louder by the second. Then it
cut to the scene of the guy getting a lap dance. This started to
weird me out, since it was one of my friends. I was like “WOAH NICE
JOB EDWARD!” Edward was a good friend of mine. She then flipped the
chair he was sitting on over! I was getting pissed off now. She then
started to step on him with her heels! He started to cough up blood
now. She then slammed the chair on him, breaking it. “YOU LUH DIS
FAT ASS DONT YOU?!?!” she yelled. Nicki Minaj took the broken
pieced of the chair, and shoved it down Edward's throat. He was too
weak to fight back now. Nicki Minaj picked up a piece, and snapped it
in half with her bare hands like she was Hulk Hogan. She then
stabbed my friend in the eyes with the two crudely broken pieces! I
could hear his screams of agony! Nicki Minaj then started saying
similar quotes from the song. “I wanna play with your rifle
Edward!” She then walked off screen for about a minute. She came
back with a loaded rifle. She aimed it to his head, and shot him.
Blood was then dripping on the floor! The camera went static for ten
seconds before it came back to Nicki Minaj staring at the camera like
at the beginning of the video again. She then started smiling at the
camera. Shortly after though, she started to rip off her skin with
her teeth! He arms came off first, then her skin started falling off.
She then hit the floor screaming. After two more minutes of
screaming, she revealed herself to the camera again. Nicki Minaj had
turned into an actual anaconda! Except it wasn't a full real
anaconda, here head was still there and was smiling crazily at the
camera. Then her eyes turned into little pairs of buttcheeks. What
the actual fuck had been happening. Then the instrumental started
playing as she.......laughed. Her evil laugh that I didn't want to
describe at the beginning. That laugh had given me nighmares of ever
seeing anyone's ass cheeks or just butts in genral. Then I heard the
line “My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun!”Then
her mouth started opneing wider than it should have opened. What I
saw inside of it made me throw up on my monitor. It was another large
pair of buttcheeks. Then the pair of butt cheeks started coming out
of monitor! THE NOW COVERED- IN- VOMIT BUTTCHEEKS WERE COMING TO GET
ME! Then the buttcheeks “grabbed” a hold of my head. At this
moment I knew my life was over. The buttcheeks then swallowed my body
whole, and was crushing every bone in my body. That was the end for
Jackie Clements.

Wait....if he died, then how
is he writing the story? Well that's for you to figure out. But just
temember. My anaconda won't want none unless you got buns
hun......... ahahahahah!AHAHAHAHAHAHAH HUUUUUUUUUUUUH. WE DON'T WANT
NO SKINNY BITCHES MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!