recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Godzilla: King of the Monsters! (1956) (Song)

This song is played during the MeTV airings of the **GOOD** version of Godzilla, King of the Monsters. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Park Avenue Beat (aka: the Perry Mason Theme) by Fred Steiner. This song's a shortie, but a goodie.

## Lyrics

Steve MartinNo, not THE Steve Martin knew the beast broke through

He needs Paul Drake when buildings break in 'Zilla's stride

That Love Boat cruise got some bad news

And, like hamburger, monster breath left Tokyo fried

With massive feet he stomps the street

Not Della Street, but roads in which citizen's retreat

What's in this case posts fear on her face

But someday when Burr's Mason he'll win every-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE case
Devil Doll (1964) (Song)

As of this writing, this song is still being played during airings of Devil Doll. Featuring Svengoolie, Doug Graves, and Anita X. Orcist, this song is a parody of When the Saints Go Marching In.

## Lyrics

She can't resist that hypnotist

He even makes her do The Twist

With the help of wine, he numbed her

We had to edit when they kissed

He launched his scam at the aunt's program

And Hugo he continued to slam

Good he got stopped with that Copper Chef® knife

Or else he would have sliced that ham

Hugo came in while Mark's snoozin'

And dropped a hint about Berlin

Vorelli knows that dummy's not dumber

Like mortgage rates, keeps him locked in

(*Take it away, Anita!*)

Since Maryann seems to distract

Magda reacts without much tact

So, he made Hugo middle management

And had him "cut" her from the act
The Vampire (1957) (Song)

This song is played during airings of The Vampire. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of It's Not Unusual by Tom Jones.

## Lyrics

It's not unusual to get blood from anyone!

It's not unusual for a blood test to be run!

But when they see you hanging around their bedside, son,

It's not unusual to specify they're gunna die!!!

It's not unusual to give blood at any time!

But, when involuntary, it soon becomes a crime!

If you find puncture wounds on your neck at any time,

It's just transfusional! It happens every night!

When vampires take a bite, they find it eases hunger pangs!

Blood will never ooze whenever you choose,

That's why they have to use their faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaangs!!!!!!!

It's not medicinal to take pills of any kind!

But I'd advise you pay doctor bills right on time!

Cuz, if this Dracu-Doc is shortchanged at any time,

He'll get transfusional and try to put the bite on you! woe-woe-woe-woe-woe-woe!

Woe-woe! Woe-woe! Wuh-whatever.
Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954) (Song)

"Creature from the Black Lagoon" is a parody of "The Blue Danube Waltz," a piece originally written by Johan Straus II in 1867. The song is performed by Svengoolie and Doug Graves for the film broadcast of Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954).

## Video

An alternative lower quality upload can be found here.

## Lyrics

*There's trouble in the Black Lagoon*

*Cuz those who go there won't come back soon*

*They set out aboard the ship, RITA*

*And find pests worse than a muh-skee-tuh*

*The campers have died*

*The net's cut up wide*

*So their story ends*

*With the bends*

*Or a trip over the side!*

*When the girl with him*

*Gets to take a swim*

*She becomes bait*

*Or a blind date*

*Or this thing she'll meet*

*That might face de-"feet"*

*If this glove appeared*

*You could get 'im with a spear!*

*The Gill Man loves to fight*

*But he can't stand the spotlight*

*He gets stunned when they drop dope*

*But that still doesn't mean they have him on the ropes!*

*They should avoid the Black Lagoon*

*They can't depend on a harpoon*

*If they would review the past events,*

*They'd just find that the pain's in-"tents!"*

*Why in every film that I recall*

*When women get chased, they always fall?????*

*There's one thing here*

*That is clear*

*They'll have sushi for a year!*

## Thanks

Lyrics transcribed by BronyNumber4096 on Youtube.
Sventoonie (TV series)

Sventoonie is the official Svengoolie after-party!

It's a spinoff of both Svengoolie as well as Toon in with Me. Toony from Toon in with Me dresses up in his Svengoolie costume and talks over short cuts of a genre flick each episode, along with Blob E. Blob, Trevor, and a number of guests.

On July 16th, 2022, MeTV announced that Sventoonie would return for a second season of 16 episodes. 18 episodes have aired during the second season so far.

Episode guide - A listing of all of the episodes as well as an index to each episode's article.

Characters - A listing of all of the characters that have appeared on Sventoonie.

1. ↑ https://www.metv.com/stories/sventoonie-the-red-tuna-of-terror-will-be-swimming-back-for-a-second-season
Blacula (1972) (Song)

This song is played during airings of Blacula. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, there are two versions of this song. The MeTV one is a parody of Funiculì, Funiculà by Luigi Denza and Peppino Turco, and the original version is a parody of Baby Face by Harry Akst and Benny Davis.

## Lyrics

### MeTV version

Some fink is serving dinner, but hates garlic

He has some fangs

And hunger pangs

He'll sink teeth in your neck, tho he has his pick

Of gals galore

Like The Bachelor

That's why the Prince would spend his time a prisoner

Of what Drac did

He closed the lid

Brought to L.A. It's something which that couple

Had brought along.

NOT THAT ANYTHING'S WRONG!!!!! (**Sven:** Please don't freeze me out of my bank account, Woke Mafia! I'm an ally! Really!

Dark room brought doom

Leaves her pals all shook

Brought out. Flood out.

Give this guy the hook

The paparazzi could not see

Mamuwalde, he's not there

You won't get a scare until you see it's Blacula

HEY!

### Original version

Blacula!

That Mamuwalde now is Blacula!

Cuz he was bitten once by Dracula

Blacula spoke his mind too often

So, he locked him in a coffin

Blacula!

He travels through the years just like Scott Bakula!

He found a girl to grab

Until he caught a cab

Right in his kidneys, Blacula!!

Blacula!

That broad was bitten once by Blacula

She drove a taxi not an Acura

For Blacula!

This song really sickens

Now they're tossing rubber chickens

Blacula!

(incomprehensible from here on out)
The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (1953) (Song)

This song is still being performed during MeTV airings of The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of By the Beautiful Sea by Harry Carroll and Harold R. Atteridge.

## Lyrics

It can't be! From the sea

Comes this monstrosity!

When the bomb splits the calm,

Something big was set free!

This guy can't believe what he sees

Out in the deep freeze

And endure the chance of avalanche!

He leaves and believes,

But nobody else will!

Except Lee, who can see

What gave him the Big Chill!

They need more proof before

They know it's a rhedosaur

He saw rise where it's always snowy!

Out at sea we can see

They react with dismay!

Lose your net, you can bet

That's no Catch of the Day!

The fishing catch tries to stay afloat.

Please don't rock the boat!

Sailors in this flick will get seasick!

They sink! And we think

It returned to The Damp!

But the lighthouse attracts

Like a bug-zapper lamp!

It takes the full impact!

Forget the Love Boat act

And see where it might be in the sea!
An Axe to Grind

Sventoonie dives into Dementia 13 (1963) with the help of a young vlogger, but one company has an ax to grind with the film. Also, Trevor turns into a horse.

The song that plays during the end credits is "Lips (Minus Track)" by Gabriel Candiani & John Dillon Conneally IV.

## Characters Appearing

-Axl Slash (uncredited role)

-13 Demented Facts Host

-Blob E. Blob

-Drowned Girl (calls herself "Brook")

-Svengoolie (with the role of "Rich Koz" being credited to "Svengoolie")

-Sventoonie

-Trevor Ground
The Thing with Two Heads (1972)

Doctors are forced to transplant the head of a dying, racist surgeon onto the body of a black death row inmate.

**Released:** 1972

**Director(s):** Lee Frost

**Writer(s):** Lee Frost, Wes Bishop, James Gordon White

**Stars:** Roosevelt Grier, Ray Milland, Don Marshall

**IMDB:** 4.5/10

## Song

The song that normally plays can be found here.

## Final Gag

They say two heads are better than one, but for Sven it wouldn't help since he is empty headed!

## Broadcast History

Below are all of the indexed broadcasts of **The Thing with Two Heads (1972)**.

### Svengoolie

October 24th, 2009

May 20th, 2023 - Blog post/Reddit (MeTV broadcast premiere, new song)

### Son of Svengoolie

Son of Svengoolie broadcast history of the film. If it was never broadcasted on Son of Svengoolie, just don't include this field!

## Related Links

-Wikipedia entry

-Hamby's blog entry
Ragdoll (1999) (Song)

This song used to be played during airings of Ragdoll. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Hey Ya! by Outkast.

## Lyrics

(*one, two, three*)

That dolly don't mess around

She likes to hit the ground

And has a taste for gore!

But is she any better than

A wedding gown that standing

At your old front door?

Don't try to fight the mojo,

Cuz what's dancing Gogo's

Killing you right now!

That gentleman who made this puppet

Like an evil Muppet®

That makes you say, "OW!"

Raaaaa-a-agdooooooll

Ragdoooooooll!

Raaaaa-a-agdooooooll

Ragdoooooooll!

You would thing this creep'll

Join the Village People®

The people think the creep'll

Run you in to the wall!

We rap together

While he's wearing leather

But don't wait for Cap Beggs cop

Or you'll see what will fall!

If what they say is,

"This is not the X-Files®!"

Then what made... (*What?*)

What made... (*Huh?*)

What made... (*Huh?*)

What made...

What made that blood connection?

So, why do you do

Your Grandmama's voodoo,

When you know it'll rile her

And she'll just slap you here?

Raaaaa-a-agdooooooll

Ragdoooooooll!

Raaaaa-a-agdooooooll

Ragdoooooooll!
The Black Scorpion (1957) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV airings of The Black Scorpion. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of El Jarabe Tapatío.

## Lyrics

Geologists don't know

What's bugging San Lorenzo

At first, they find a babe

And later they find a BAE-b!

A cop's found with no life

Who's looking like Barney Fife!

Bad balance must abound

Cuz everyone's falling down!

They don't know what they're going to battle,

All they see is a lot of dead cattle!

Who believes there's a Demon Bull that'll

Be the reason for some body work!

In obsidian they found a thing hid

And released a small, ancient arachnid!

And they're constantly pestered by this kid!

I think little Juanito's a jerk!!!

We know something came out of the desert

That's upsetting the steers and the pup!

With its claws like a crab,

It's all ready to grab

And that truck will become a pick-up!

The scorpion's drooly

As sure as I'm Svengoolie!

So, sell your stock quickly

If it's AT&T!

Teresa Alvarez

Not scared what the big shot says

She'll join in the defense

The scorpion takes off-"fence!"

The men take off their hats

When she's walking by, I'm told

In hopes she'll take off more

Like when she was a centerfold!October 1958

It would figure that, sooner or later,

Someone had to fall in to the crater

And to lower the cage elevator

He's not Frasier, but still it's a crane!

They are lowered down into the dark

Like a ride at a cheap, cut-rate theme park

Where somebody's forgotten to remark,

"From flash photography, please refrain!"

Pete and Arthur are met in the cavern

By a worm who was taking a stand

And it's more of a killer

Than the caterpillar

That Alice met in Wonderland!

The goofball Juanito

Is hiding incognito!

His actions are absurd!

I wish they'd give him the "bird!"
Man Made Monster (1941) (Song)

This song is played during airings of Man-Made Monster. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Strolling Thru the Park by Ed Haley (or possibly Robert A. King).

## Lyrics

While strolling through his spark, he may

Use a very scary charge to pay.

If the Warden runs, he fries

Like Dan did to other guys

He'll electroplate the gate and get away.

A million volts he gave to Dan

Then he wouldn't do a thing to come to his defense.

Of course, he's zapping all he can

His electric bill must be immense!

Dan immediately killed the doc

And, sensing trouble, Corky barked.

When then treatment made him glow

Poor Dan would have to know

He can't pet the dog because he'd cause a spark.

Cuz, while rolling into sparks that day,

All Dan's fellow riders passed away.

He was taken to the doc

Cuz he could survive a shock

But what Rigas did to him turned his hair gray!

The trial was sure to spell defeat

He's guilty of murder they accuse.

But when he went to the Hot Seat

All he did was make them blow a fuse.

His electricity glowed like that

While the radio gave sad reports.

Tho Dan may look kinda cute

When he's in his diving suit

No one wants to compliment him on his "shorts."
Creation of the Humanoids, The (1962) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV's airings of The Creation of the Humanoids. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Blue-Tail Fly.

## Lyrics

We're not among those who avoid

Rapporting with some humanoid.

He'll pass the bottle as they disguise

An ally for the blue-faced guys.

Cragis hates bots that don't have hair!

Raven takes arms. Who needs a spare?

Clicker thinks this guy needs more hair!

He's getting a spa day!

The doctor better shake a leg.

There's memories in that hard-boiled egg.

Implant it and you'll have a snoop

Who's working for the Blue Man Group.

Raven wants death, and that's bizarre!

Cragis breaks in to where they are!

Someone treats that guy to the bar!

That clicker's not okay!

His sister loves that blue-faced guy,

But Cragis won't see eye-to-eye.

His Flesh and Blood over-reacts.

Like cigarettes, he'll open Pax.

Cragis cracks arms! Now, where's that spare?

He's gunna give Maxine the Chair!

I had a joke, but it's not there!

My punchline went away!
The Uninvited (1944) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV airings of The Uninvited. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Ain't She Sweet? by Milton Ager and Jack Yellen.

## Lyrics

That's no sheet

She approached him on the street

When the house affects her transcedentially

That's no sheet

That won't suffice

When the room gets cold as ice

When the dog is scared, you'd best prepare for a

Poltergeist

Just flash some light

Where the stair goes ta

O me, O my!

I smell mimosaI included this link in case someone doesn't know what a mimosa is

Ghosts mistreat

Why else would the cat retreat?

When Fitzgeralds hear it, there's a spirit and

It's no sheet

It's no whim

When the candles start to dim

Why Cmdr. Beech wants Stella outta reach

Just ask him

It's Stella's life

A ghost's condemning

To jump off a cliff

Just like a lemmingAnd I included THIS link to help put an end to this Disney-created lemming myth!

It's the dead

Not what hit him in the head

Tho Rick may taunt, this house is haunted and

It's no sheet

When you're home alone, and then you hear a groan

It's no sheet
Blacula (1972)

An ancient African prince, turned into a vampire by Dracula himself, finds himself in modern Los Angeles.

**Released:** 1972

**Director(s):** William Crain

**Writer(s):** Joan Torres, Raymond Koenig

**Stars:** William Marshall, Vonetta McGee, Denise Nicholas

**IMDB:** 5.7/10

## Final Gag

Vampires become immortal while Sven just becomes more and more intolerable!

## Broadcast History

Below are all of the indexed broadcasts of **Blacula (1972)**.

### Svengoolie

May 6th, 2023 - Blog post/Reddit (MeTV broadcast premiere)

### Son of Svengoolie

February 4th, 1984

November 23rd, 1985

## Related Links

-Wikipedia article

-Chris Hamby's article
Night of the Lepus (1972) (Song)

This song is played during airings of Night of the Lepus. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Hey-Hey! We're the Monkees! by the band.

## Lyrics

Here they come

Leaping down the street.

They must get plenty of good luck

With all those rabbits' feet.

Stay 'way from the Bunnees!

People say they're fuzzy and cute,

But trouble's what they're bringin'

It makes Janet Leigh just shoot!

They do things like cause crashes

That'll cut off your phones.

They scare a little girl breathless

And even bother Bones.

Stay 'way from the Bunnees!

People say watch out for their legs!

You won't like what they're bringin'

It sure isn't Easter eggs!

They're just tryin' to be deadly!

They aren't talking cars, I guess,

When they say mustangs and rabbits

Have the roads in a mess!

Anytime

Or anywhere

Look in your rearview mirror

You're gunna see big "hare."

Stay 'way from the Bunnees!

We know that's ketchup, not blood!

Perhaps one way to stop 'em's

With a 12-story Elmer Fudd

Stay 'way from the Bunnees!

People say they're jumpin' too fast!

So you'd better get ready,

The battle's gunna be a blast!
1-头顶好像有阴影笼罩下来，抬头看看？

时不时城市上空会有约尔兰龙骑军队的身影快速的掠过，这预示的是约尔兰的龙骑此时似乎正在边境巡查，龙是约尔兰独有的战争武器，他们数百年以驾驭龙的龙骑士而骄傲，龙骑士抵达边境的巡逻也预示着边境的一些动荡已经搅扰了雄狮的安眠。你听街道上的人议论，约尔兰国王因为最近的数起忏悔徒的暴动问题而大发雷霆，恐怖袭击依旧在日益增长，龙骑士抵达边境的目的也是亲自捕捉忏悔徒，以让国王对此安心。市井对龙与骑士，甚至是骑士团团长的讨论声络绎不绝，龙从哪里来，那位团长又是什么人，听说他是一位精灵，但他却为人类效命，且全心全意的忠诚，据说这份忠诚已经保持了几千年的时间了？真是难以置信。

（请选择以下选项以完成剧情）

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Devil Dog — The Hound of Hell (1978) (Song)

This song was played during airings of Devil Dog — The Hound of Hell. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Hound Dog by Elvis Presley.

## Lyrics

You ain't nuttin' but a hellhound! Just Satan wrapped in fur!

You ain't nuttin' but a hellhound! Just Satan wrapped in fur!

Well, you ain't never cut the cake, but you gave a manicure!

When they say you're a hot dog, you get glowin' eyes!

When they say you're a hot dog, you get glowin' eyes!

You get mad and give the maid a side order of fries!

When they say you're a mad mutt, you appear in smoke!

When they say you're a mad mutt, you appear in smoke!

You make 'em play bumper pool or hit the pool in a bad backstroke!

You ain't nuttin' but a hellhound! Satan wrapped in fur!

You ain't nuttin' but a hellhound! Satan wrapped in fur!

'Til they catch you on the carpet you're a lucky Lucifer!
Sventoonie - Episode Guide

This is a list of all of the episodes of Sventoonie (TV series) that have aired.

## Season One

1) Knock, Knock... Who Dares?! (March 26th, 2022)

2) Vincent Price is Right (April 2nd, 2022)

3) Specimen Container! (April 9th, 2022)

4) An Axe to Grind (April 16th, 2022)

5) An American Vampire in America (April 23rd, 2022)

6) Super Seventies Sell-Outs (April 30th, 2022)

7) Trevor Buckethands (May 14th, 2022)

8) Jordan Versus bird (May 21st, 2022)

9) Now Available for Birthday Parties (May 28th, 2022)

10) Hellspring is in the Air (June 18th, 2022)

11) Feed Me! (June 25th, 2022)

12) Organ Failure (July 2nd, 2022)

13) Trevor Runs for Office (July 9th, 2022)

14) Ain't No Party Like a Donner Party (July 16th, 2022)

## Season Two

1) Sven & Friends in the P.M. (October 1st, 2022)

2) Blob E. Wants a Bod E. (October 8th, 2022)

3) Blob Gnarly (October 15th, 2022)

4) Sventoonie's Scary, Merry Halloween! (October 29th, 2022)

5) I'm a Bad Bird (November 5th, 2022)

6) Pinhead Wizard (November 12th, 2022)

7) Little Ditty About Francis and Diane (November 26th, 2022)

8) It's a Wonderful Loss of Life (December 3rd, 2022)

9) How Hellspring Got Her Grave Back (December 10th, 2022)

10) Sventoonie Rocks Out (December 17th, 2022)

11) I Wanna Seance with Somebody (January 7th, 2023)

12) Chairman of the Circuit Board (January 14th, 2023)

13) Sventoonie... in Space! (January 21st, 2023)

14) You've Got Blackmail (January 28th, 2023)

15) Puke of Earl (February 4th, 2023)

16) The Great British Faking Show (February 11th, 2023)

17) Slightly Later With Sventoonie (February 18th, 2023)

18) Sventoonie's Got Character! (February 25th, 2023)
The Night Walker (1964) (Song)

This song is played during airings of The Night Walker. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Down in the Valley (traditional folk song).

## Lyrics

It's not The Big Valley that's just at your toe

Bang! It's a crater where something did blow

He drove you to go, dear; then smoke would flow

Now Howard's life's over. Inherit his dough!

Howard shoved Irene, but Walker loves you

Neither one comes here just for a hair-do

Candles can burn, dear, and shishkabob, too

I think that drink was the Mickey for you

Your head is spinning. The night's full of dread

All cuz Howard heard you talking in bed

Wax figures witness, but someone once said

"The real dummy's the one who gets wed!"

Write her a summons, cuz she drinks and drives

She expects Walker, but Howard arrives

Impossible mission to prove he's alive

This tape self-destructs, dear, in seconds: five!
Spawn of Svengoolie

In October 2022, during the month-long promotion Svengoolie’s Halloween BOOnanza, Me-TV and the Svengoolie show launched Spawn of Svengoolie. The promotion is a call to action for fans to submit a video to the company via the Svengoolie app with the following guidelines:

> - Prepare what you want to say before you start recording! Auditions should be under 30 seconds!
> - Start by introducing yourself with your name and where you are from.
> - Answer: Why am I a Spawn of Svengoolie?
> - Remember to say any relevant experience you have.
> - Smile and have fun! We are excited to meet you. Be excited to meet us!
> - Shoot video with your phone held sideways, in landscape mode.
> - Make sure you are in a well-lit place. (We know you might be in a dungeon, but we need to see you!)
> - Be in a quiet place without background noise.
> - Stand close to the phone so you can be seen and heard better.
>

While many fans initially took this as an indication that Me-TV and Svengoolie were looking to replace Rich Koz with this promotion, Koz has stated numerous times that is not the case.

## Related Links

-Official site

-Variety article/interview
Sven Racer (1996)

A skit performed by the Sven Team back in 1996 and made a recent reappearance during a MeTV airing of Duel. A parody of Speed Racer, this skit features Svengoolie as the title character, Tombstone as Hops, or Pops, or whatever he's called in this, Durwood as Fright-le, an unnamed chimp puppet as Slim Jim, and Doug Graves as himself.

## Transcript

**ANNOUNCER:** On the next exciting episode of Sven Racer...

**AUDIENCE:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**SVEN:** Hops! I don't care what you say! I'm going to be world's greatest racer! Even if I have to drive the Shlock 5 and Mach 6! And there's no way anyone can stop me!

**HOPS:** Lizz'n t' me, Sven! You'll never be the world's greatest racer if you don't drive like a total idiot up and down the Dan Ryan and defy the posted speed limits like all the other drivers!

**SVEN:** (*surprise face*) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**DURWOOD:** Oh Sven! You might get hurt!

**SVEN:** Oh! It's my brother Fright-le and his pet monkey, Slim Jim!

**SLIM JIM:** Ooooooo! Yeeeeeeeah! (*R.I.P. Randy "Savage" Poffo*)

**FRIGHT-LE:** Oh Sven! I'm going to hide in the trunk of your car so I can be like those bodies they find in the parking garage at O'Hare Airport!

**SVEN:** (*surprise face*) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**FRED:** Agh shut up, willya?

**SVEN:** Say, Pops! (*forgetting the name given from before*) How come we can't have me shown driving in the super-fast Shlock 5 racecar?

**HOPS/POPS/WHATEVER:** Because Sven! We can't afford those kinds of special effects with our budget!

**SVEN:** (*that face you make when a big burly security guard named Bruno, with rough calloused hands the size of Holsteins, rams them up in there for a cavity search*) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**DOUG:** Hey! Don't include me in this stupid bit!

**SVEN:** (*Bunny is told he's adopted face*) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**ANNOUNCER:** Don't miss the next exciting episode of Sven Racer...
Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster (1964) (Song)

This song was played during airings of Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of When the Saints Go Marching In.

## Lyrics

O when they take the Martian in

After they tried to do her in

They'll try a hypno drug to numb her

But she be the princess within

O when Rodan is back and flyin'

And, through binoculars, they're spyin'

Back with some ill will is Godzilla

Whose breath heats up this cruise line ship

With monsters there declares each twin

By joining forces they can win

Tho Mothra's now a male not female

According to the show vision

Ghidorah leaves the meteor

And then they hear Godzilla's roar

Could have avoided all this if someone

Told her that's not the restroom door
House of Wax (1953) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV airings of House of Wax. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Bye Bye Blackbird by Ray Henderson and Mort Dixon.

## Lyrics

Pack up all those paddle balls

When he calls, ceiling falls

Bye, bye waxworks

There's a lot that you can see

Cuz things burn in 3-D

Fry high, waxworks

No one could survive that fire, there's no doubt

Like Christmas Story, you could put your eye out

Stupid Head gives skirt a light

And it seals Jarrod's plight

Waxworks, bye bye

Back up goes the wax museum

With new displays, and folks to see 'em

Same guy's waxworks

There's somebody who gives chase

Call Dick Tracy, it's Pruneface

A goblin in black lurks

Could there be some victims in those get-ups?

The morgue's no place to practice doing sit-ups

Make a date and pull things tight

For Joan of Arc, you're just right

For waxworks, you'll die
Christmas Medley (Song)

This Christmas Medley is a parody of "Dashing Through the Snow" and "Hark the Harold Angels." It features Svengoolie, Doug Graves, and a currently unnamed guest playing the role of a thief.

It was broadcasted on December 21st, 2013 as a Special Svengoolie Stocking Stuffer during Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man. Original broadcast date is unknown.

## Lyrics

*Knock down folks we meet and beat up every creep*
*Then we mingle in with all the folks that shop*
*And try to steal a purse or two before they call a cop*
*OH, snatch a purse, pocket picked in the yuletide crowd*
*When they find their wallet's gone, they really holler loud*
*If they knew what we do they would thank us more*
*Cause the real robbery is the prices in the store*
*Start, the toy instructions say, to assemble panel A*
*Fit belt B to wind up lid or you'll disappoint your kid*
*Bracket slots to hooks extruded*
*Batteries are not included*
*Fix spring clips to clockwork stem*
*You'll work on this till 3AM*
*Hark, the toy instructions shout*
*You built it wrong, so throw it out!*
Duel (1971)

A business commuter is pursued and terrorized by the malevolent driver of a massive tractor-trailer.

**Released:** 1971

**Directors:** Steven Spielberg

**Writers:** Richard Matheson (screenplay)

**Stars:** Dennis Weaver, Jacqueline Scott, Eddie Firestone

**IMDB:** 7.6/10

**Sven Promo:** Official Site

## Song

The songs that normally plays during the broadcast can be found here.

## Broadcast History

Below are all of the indexed broadcasts of **Duel (1971)**.

### Svengoolie

November 5th, 2016 - Blog post (MeTV run premiere)

October 7th, 2017 - Blog post

February 18th, 2023 - Blog post

## Related Links

-Wikipedia entry

-Chris Hamby's blog entry for a broadcast
X: The Man with the X-ray Eyes (1963) (Song)

As of this writing, this song is played during MeTV airings of X: The Man with the X-ray Eyes. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is based on By the Beautiful Sea by Harold R. Atteridge.

## Lyrics

You can see that he'll see through all things he can see

Gave that junk to the monk, now he will R.I.P.

When he dropped all those eyedrops in

Then his head will spin

And he'll freak because he sees through gauze

His vision's precision he meant to augment

When he's through, then he'll view things reserved for Clark Kent®

We could have advertised

The Man With the X-Rated Eyes

You'll see guys that YOU DON'T WUNNA SEE!!!!! (*brain bleach, STAT!!*)

Since he sees what he sees, that's why he disagrees

They oppose what he knows, so he cuts the Big Cheese

Cuz when he looked through the patient there

He becomes aware

That the nurses never change the sheets

He's wired cuz he's fired by this ancient galoot

Even though he saved him from a malpractice suit

Then when he felt harassed

His pal met the sidewalk fast

You'll see why he decided to flee

After savior's behavior, he found a new task

As a carney, he'd see though his CBS® mask

Once he sees someone's broken leg

Which means this bad egg

Don Rickles takes in more than nickels

Looks at their guts just to see what they've got

Meanwhile Crane won't refrain cuz he hit the jackpot

Just don't bring him some bad luck

He'll call you a hockey puck!

He'll see why I won't pay him a fee
Knock, Knock... Who Dares?!

Sventoonie learns from the master himself, Svengoolie, about how to be a horror host. The fanatical fish then swims through George A. Romero's classic film Night of the Living Dead (1968) and shows some minor mistakes that viewers may have missed in classic horror movies.

The song playing during the credits is "Living Dangerous (Full Mix)" by Max Bronco & Adam Connor & Victor Lazlo.

## Characters Appearing

-Blob E. Blob

-Svengoolie

-Sventoonie
Svengoolie

Svengoolie is played by Rich Koz. For personal details on Rich not related to the role of Svengoolie, please see Rich Koz. For information on Jerry G. Bishop, the original Svengoolie, please look at Svengoolie (Original).

## Costume

It takes about 30 minutes to apply Svengoolie's greasepaint makeup.

Svengoolie has a trademark skeleton lapel pin. It's in fact a 1994 Hallmark Halloween Skeleton Lapel Pin to be exact. Of the pin, he has published the following:

> for those of you who ask,I don’t think those are available anymore- it was a one-year deal from Hallmark, and mine was given to me by my friends Steve and Johnnie of WGN Radio- just before they put me in touch with Neal Sabin, which led to my job at “the U”- so, I always wear it as a “good luck charm”
>
>

Sven also usually wears a blue pocket handkerchief.

Rich also wears a rubber chicken on a red bead necklace.

## Retirement Plans

Rich Koz has fielded numerous questions concerning retiring as Svengoolie, especially after some health issues later in life. He always states he plans to keep doing it as health permits and viewers are enjoying the program.

### Replacement

In 2015, when Rich was asked if he had any plans to hand the mantle of Svengoolie down to a successor, he stated that long ago, Jerry G. Bishop and he decided that Rich would be the end of the line for the moniker.

In 2022, Spawn of Svengoolie was announced as a nation-wide avenue for fans to send in audition tapes. The exact endgame of the said promotion is relatively unclear. Rich has stated numerous times on social media and in interviews he is not planning on retiring any time soon. Especially not to Florida.

1. ↑ https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2004-06-18-0406180002-story.html
2. ↑ https://reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/313obn/i\_am\_rich\_koz\_aka\_svengoolie\_the\_host\_of\_metvs/cpy7csu/
3. ↑ https://variety.com/2022/tv/news/svengoolie-spawn-talent-search-metv-1235391578/
Son of Kong (1933) (Song)

This song used to be played during airings of Son of Kong. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of You're a Grand Old Flag by George M. Cohan.

## Lyrics

You're the Son of Kong

And, unless I guess wrong,

You're no stick-in-the-mud. Grab some bark.

You're where you belong,

The Land of Kong.

A dollar store Jurassic Park.

You're his son for sure

With peroxided fur

Getting visits from actors like Wong.

You should just stay calm

And read your palm.

What's the future for Son of Kong?

You have Denham there

And I hope you're aware

That your father's undoing was his.

Hope that his great fame

And family name

Could get relatives in show-biz.

When dad's penthouse squat

Didn't turn out so hot

And his creditors started to nag,

It all gave that boss

Financial loss

And it left him holding the bag.

Denham skipped out now

On this old freighter scow

And hit ports with odd names that flew by.

Found a gal who'd jive

And one cheap dive,

With a second "dive" for this guy.

Soon their cruise was through

Cuz this mutinous crew

Turned their lives into one bad dream.

Set a new course fer

Some islanders

Who are sure not a hockey team.

And before too long

They met the Son of Kong

Who won't scare when a bear comes their way.

Got into a spat

Came up to bat

Just watch what finger you display! (*Yeah. This isn't "Rampage" here!*)

He hit that bear

Like a hairy Ric Flair

Saving his new pals from danger

But although he's strong,

The Son of Kong

Acts like he's just a Stooge with fur.
King Kong Escapes (1967) (Song)

This song is played during airings of King Kong Escapes. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of The Battle Hymn of the Republic by Julia Ward Howe.

## Lyrics

These guys who'd been exploring heard the roaring of King Kong!

He was stamped on by a lizard who might treat his sweetie wrong!

He got looped on something fright'ning dropped by choppers that has soared!

They passed their gas on Kong!

Our six-story pal is through, yah!

Know he's gassed by Dr. WhoNo, not THOSE Dr. Whos, yah!

Lousy guy! You're vile! You shot Fred Sanford on the isle!

Uncouth, you nabbed King Kong!

We have seen him in his polar base just scheming to do wrong!

He has built a robo-monkey: an aluminum-sided Kong!

Bonding with the Bond Girl BAE-b who'd look so right in a sarong!

His crew is playing Pong?

Worry worry 'bout the big one!

Element X is what he's diggin'

But the big ape soon got smart when his Bluetooth® fell apart!

This goof can't stop King Kong!

Our commander Nelson kinda left his comrades in a mess

So that he and Dr. Skeletor™ could play a game of chess!

While they're freezin', ol' Rhodes Reason thinks of a hot chick in a dress!

He don't dig blondes like Kong!

War is heck! Looks like we're losin'

Even though everyone is boozin'!

Hey, it wasn't what we thunk! Perhaps the big monkey was drunk!

100-proof did in King Kong!
Svengoolie Limited Edition 4-Piece Enamel Pin Set (Toynk)

**Released:** December 2022

**Manufacturer:** Toynk

**Price:** $29.99 USD

**SKU:** TNK-614355-C

**UPC:** 840282614355

## Product Description

THE HOST WITH THE MOST

Look what's coming out of the coffin! You're in for a fright (and a laugh) with Chicagoland's iconic horror host, broadcasting straight to the boob tube with this exclusive Svengoolie 4-Pin Collector Set.

Saturday nights belong to the vampire host with a penchant for bad puns, horror trivia, and Berwyn punchlines. Svengoolie has been haunting people's screens (and nightmares) since the 1970s, and now fans can take a piece of history back to their tombs.

CALLING ALL STATIONS

Fans will be happy to see familiar iconography from the show depicted in this limited edition enamel pin set that includes eponymous presenter Sven, the rubber chicken Kerwyn, the Boddy Sorrell coffin lid, and the iconic logo. (Did we mention that one depicts Svengoolie? He was adamant that we remind you.)

Encased in a casket of doom, all the pins come displayed in a coffin-shaped box that resembles Svengoolie's final resting place. Fiends and friends alike will want to grab this officially licensed Svengoolie collector's pin set.

Limited edition of only 3,000 pieces.

* OPENING THE DUNGEON DOOR: When you want a recap of all your favorite horror cult classics, there's only one place to go. Presenting Chicagoland's iconic host with the most comes this exclusive Svengoolie pin set. Limited edition of 3,000 pieces.
* BRINGING YOU THE HORROR CLASSICS: Open the coffin to reveal this spooktacular set of four enamel pins inspired by the premier horror program Svengoolie. Comes with Sven, Kerwyn, the Boddy Sorrell coffin lid, and the show's logo.
* BERWYN'S FINEST: Each pin ranges from 1.5 to 2 inches, featuring a base metal design with highly detailed enamel inlay. Perfect for display or trade, all the pins have a secure butterfly clutch for easy attachment and accessorizing.
* LAID TO REST IN A THEMED COLLECTOR'S BOX: Throw out those rubber chickens for something even better in this limited edition pin set. The collection is neatly presented in a deluxe box shaped just like Svengoolie's coffin.
* OFFICIAL SVENGOOLIE COLLECTIBLE: Clear all the air lanes for this officially licensed Svengoolie collector's pin set. Rising from the dead to haunt your jacket, bag, top hat, or any horror collectibles display fit for a vamp.

## Related Links

-Toynk.com Brings Exclusive Svengoolie® Collector’s Pin Set to Life - Press release announcing the set

-Official store page
The Shadow of the Cat (1961) (Song)

This song is played during airings of The Shadow of the Cat. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of El Jarabe Tapatío.

## Lyrics

They have to kill the cat that saw them kill the old bat

Their bankrolls will get fat if only they'd kill the cat

They may not like a rat or even this lady's hat

But they're in agreement that they really should kill the cat!

In the family, Beth thinks it's a pity

She's the only fan of Hello Kitty®

Tho the relatives planned in committee

When they can't kill the cat, it's a drag.

And when Walter tries getting the job done,

Like Fred Sanford®, he suffers "The Big One™!" Fred's trademarked catchphrase

So, this sap sets a trap and it's big fun

'Til he lets the cat outa the bag!

And when Andrew believes he'll retrieve it

He plays Cinco de Gallo in mud

Then the maid's like the butler

And starts throwing cutlery

Good thing that Beth's got this stud.

Tho some viewers may stare in derision

At the scene they shot in KittyVision™

I would say that the maid's bad decision

Was avoiding the "stairs" of the cat!
Village of the Damned (1960) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV airings of Village of the Damned. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of *Movin' On Up* by Ja'Net DuBois.

## Lyrics

Well, they're fallin' on down

All around Midwich.

What's the deal? Seems like nobody knows why.

Then they're wakin' on up,

And there's a slight hitch:

They'll finally have some kids with white eyes.

Overflow in the kitchen,

Ironing burned on the board.

Lost a whole lot of soldiers

Any time they moved forward.

Now they all were expecting

Had kids of the same ilk.

Long as you give what it wants to the baby

You won't cry over spilled milk.

Well, they're growin' on up

On the fast side,

And have Gordon, as teacher, to advise.

So, over a class,

He will preside

With pale pupils with those white eyes.

Box won't outfox the children.

Hands might burn at their will.

Dog does a whole lotta growlin'

Sensin' that they might kill.

Now they're out in the street there.

One just had a close call.

Since they desired,

Although he's not tired,

That driver's hittin' the wall!

They're stockin' on up.

It seems endless.

Scared the old lady who provides supplies.

This kid is dressed up

Like Dennis the Menace.

Bad fashion sense for a kid with white eyes!
Blood of Dracula (1957)

A young woman at a boarding school for girls becomes the object of an experiment at the hands of one of her teachers and through hypnosis techniques and ancient black magic becomes a vicious vampire.

**Released:** 1957

**Director(s):** Herbert L. Strock

**Writer(s):** Aben Kandel

**Stars:** Sandra Harrison, Louise Lewis, Gail Ganley

**IMDB:** 4.5/10

## Final Gag

If you share a dorm room with a vampirette make sure all your college sweaters are turtlenecks!

## Broadcast History

Below are all of the indexed broadcasts of **Blood of Dracula (1957)**.

### Svengoolie

September 25, 2021 - Blog post (MeTV run premiere)

March 25th, 2023 - Blog post
Cutaway Gag

A cutaway gag is a joke where a character says something and then the action immediately cuts to a throwaway joke related to what the character said. Svengoolie, at least during the Me-TV run, uses this style of joke liberally in bumpers when returning from breaks, with a character in the broadcasted immediately speaking the punchline.
Slightly Later With Sventoonie

Sventoonie hosts a late night talk show and sits with the one and only Svengoolie. TikTok influencer Goth Dad also visits.

## Characters Appearing

-Blob E. Blob

-Cheryl Von Tickle

-Doug "Dognone" Peters

-Dr. Jockyl / My. Hyppie

-Fratbrostein

-Goth Dad

-Hell Lynn

-Jordan McToppings

-King Tootonpotty

-Svengoolie

-Sventoonie

-Trevor Ground
How to Make a Monster (1958) (Song)

This song is played during airings of How to Make a Monster. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Ain't We Got Fun by Richard A. Whiting, Raymond B. Egan and Gus Kahn.

## Lyrics

In his work room, there is such gloom

Since Pete got canned.

They say creatures and their features

Aren't in demand.

This gent's afraid here is the last time he'll act.

Pete is no dentist but teeth he will extract.

Someone's mind's been in a whirl, there

Since he got canned.

He's not mixing CoverGirl there

He'll take a stand.

Screening something scary,

This bloke gets choked by a guy who's hairy.

Rinse his paws now, cuz the cause now

Is he got canned.

Body count's a big amount, now

Since Pete was fired.

With that makeup, ghouls he'll fake up

Have brains rewired.

Pete isn't caring 'bout taking a life.

The radio's blaring, while he killed Barney Fife.

Films now have a new subject,

So, Pete got canned.

Now they'll star a reject from

American Bandstand.

Next victim's this guy.

While parked in the dark, he's attacked by Popeye.

The losses are the bosses

Since Pete got fired.
The Ghoul (1933) (Song)

This song is played during airings of The Ghoul. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody by Irving Berlin.

## Lyrics

This pitied ghoul

Suffered a malady

That made him pass away

His afterlife's ahead

With what's hid in his bed

And if any fool should steal the jewel

He will rise from the dead

Before he's carried

To the cemetery

His heirs he plans to gyp

Like in poker, he'll stand

With what's now in his hand

It looks like Anubis is expecting a tip

I'm pretty sure

Each crime's a felony

When thieves act as they may

Since this heel had it planned

He too should have been canned

I think he's no good, and if you should

Agree, just raise your hand

He'll overtake

This lackey silently

Once roused by the full moon

Next, he'll target this ghoul's

Houseful of fools

I think this idiot girl should just take a powder soon
It Came from Beneath the Sea (1955) (Song)

This song was played during airings of It Came from Beneath the Sea. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Cousins (aka: The Patty Duke Show Theme) by The Skip-Jacks.

## Lyrics

Here's Petey, who's dove subs everywhere

Heard sonar pings and sailors swear

But Leslie's only seen the brights

Of bureaucrats and oversights

'til she meets the scare

Of half-dozen

Tentacles, half-dozen and they bind

One pair'd smash your boat bends

Down below it will stay

(*Take it away again, Doug!*)

While Leslie looks bored and used a net

Wears skirts and flirts with cigarettes

Ol' Petey's sub will rock and roll

A hot broad makes him lose control

That won't help him get

Those half-dozen

Tentacles, half-dozen they must find

It grabbed the ship and scared the stiff

And held the sub within its grip

While they wined and dined

A half-dozen arms they need to find
The Black Cat (1934) (Song)

This song was played during airings of The Black Cat. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of The Happy Wanderer written by Florenz Friedrich Sigismund to the tune composed by Friedrich-Wilhelm Möller.

## Lyrics

Beloved cats go to cremating

In this Barbecue Shack

Where Henrietta feels the sting

Of needles in her back

Dodge the breeze

Laugh ha-ha

He will sneeze

And he's doing some hoo-hoo-ing

Once she speaks

Break antiques

Her heirs might not get jack.

You can't trust Henrietta's ilk

Each plays their own sad song

One of them must have spiked the milk

Is that where she belongs?

Find the will

Take a spin

Take a spill

Hey! That fellah there is Bela

Black cat roams

"I say, Holmes!"

That needle sure is long
Island of 1,000 Dunces (Song)

This song wass played during airings of Voodoo Island (1957). Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Land of 1,000 Dances by Chris Kenner.

## Lyrics

You gotta pity the brainpan

On the Voodoo Island!

Yer gunna see 'em knocked off

Except for Boris Karloff!

He's makin' fools of these cats!

Makes 'em wear silly hats!

He's makin' natives stalk

And makes zombies walk!

Naaaaaaaaaaa na-na-n-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-n-naa-n-n-naa-n-n-naa

Na-na-na-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Naaaaaaaaaaa na-na-n-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-n-naa-n-n-naa-n-n-naa

Na-na-na-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Naaaaaaaaaaa na-na-n-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Na-na-n-naa-n-n-naa-n-n-naa

Na-na-na-naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

You gotta reap what you "sew"

And watch your eyesight go!

You gotta show who's boss

And never hit the sauce!

You gotta know when to reseed

Before yer stuck with seaweed!

You gotta stop bein' frowny

Just like Morton Downey! (*or maybe he's talking about him*)

Naaaaaaaaaaa na-na — *oh, whatever!*
Anita X. Orcist

Anita X. Orcist is a reoccurring guest musician who plays the saxaphone during songs. She is portrayed by Natalie Scharf, Doug Graves's daughter. She is sometimes named "Anita Exorcist," but it's always the same pun name. The "Anita X. Orcist" spelling is taken from [post] on the Svengoolie website in 2019 for The Invisible Man (1933)."

## Real Life

Natalie Scharf's works as a music teacher.

## Appearances

Due to Anita being a relatively rare occurrence, a listing of their appearances on broadcasts is an attainable goal. You can see our current listing of them here.

1. ↑ https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1508290/bio
The Time of Their Lives (1946) (Song)

This song used to be played during airings of The Time of Their Lives. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is based on American Patrol by Frank White Meacham.

## Lyrics

Things here are scary cuz in Revolutionary times, a tragedy befell

A BAE-b and a tinker learned of a stinker and ran off to tell

The couple got accidentally shot and had to dwell in a well

Tho sneaky Cuthbert hoped Horatio'd go straight to "HAY!"

Horatio spied a modern guy, descendant of that evil jerk

And Melody discovered she could vanish anytime she'd twerk

This frightened crew has got no clue 'bout what struck Shelly dumb

Was done in the Library with the Candlestick by Professor Dumb!

Things would get better if they found the letter that'd set the poor couple free

Unless there's a leak of info they seek, they'll be stuck up a tree

Prim and Tom's lover tho just might uncover more than needed to give them a chance

Cuz she dropped down her fancy gown and Horatio dropped his pants (*brain bleach, STAT*)
Berwyn

The Berwyn running gag is named after the city of Berwyn, Illinois.

In 2015, Sven explained the history behind it so:

> The original Sven was doing his show around the time Rowan and Martin's Laugh In and Johnny Carson were making small town jokes about Burbank. He was also influenced by Ghoulardi, who made jokes about Parma. He wanted a local suburb to poke fun at, and decided to use the western suburb that held a yearly parade in honor of mushrooms.
>
>

1. ↑ https://old.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/313obn/i\_am\_rich\_koz\_aka\_svengoolie\_the\_host\_of\_metvs/cpy5vge/