Lord Farquaad/Quote

This is the list of every quote/line of Lord Farquaad in Shrek and Shrek 4-D

* "Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man !"
* I'm not the monster here. You are. You, and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. **Now, tell me where are the others?**
* I've tried to be fair to you creatures. **Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or i'il**
* **All right, then, who's hiding them?**
* The muffin man?
* Yes, i know the muffin man, who lives on Druny Lane?
* The muffin man?
* She's married to the muffin man.
* Well, then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.
* Magic Mirror...
* Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?
* Thelonius.
* You were saying?
* Go on.
* Three! Three!
* Three!
* Three? One? Three?
* Okay, okay, number Three!
* Princesse Fiona. She's perfect. All i have to do is just find someone who can go...
* I'il do it.
* **Silence!** I will make this princesse Fiona my queen, and Duloc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament.

### The tournament and meeting Shrek.

* Brave Knights. You are the best and brightest in all the land.
* Today, one of you shall prove himself...
* That champion shall have the honor... No, no, the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for many reason the winner is unsucessful, the first runner up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice i am willing to make.
* Let the tournament begin!
* **What is that?**
* It's hideous!
* Indeed. Knight, new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! Have at him!
* No, i have a better idea. People of Duloc, i give your our champion!
* Congratulations, ogre. You've won the honor of embarking on a great and nobles quest.
* Your swamp?
* Indeed. All right, ogre, i'il make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'il give you your swamp back.
* Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.
* As good as gone.

### On his bed watching the Magic Mirror

* Again. Show me again.
* Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess.
* Ah! Perfect.

### Meeting Princess Fiona

* Princess Fiona.
* Very well, ogre. The deed to your swamp, cleard out, as agreed. Take it and go before i change my mind. Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for have never seen such radiant beauty before. I am Lord Farquaad.
* That is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the ogre. It's not like it feelings.
* Princesse Fiona Beautiful, fair, Flawless Fiona. I ask your hand in mariage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?
* Excellent! I'il start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!
* Oh! anxious, are we? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do! There's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. Captain, round up some guests!

### Mariage and death

* Go on.
* Now what does he want?
* Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding.
* Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him.
* Oh, this is precious. the ogre has fallen in love with the princess! Good Lord. An ogre and a princess!
* Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our "happily ever after." Now, Kiss me!
* Ugh! It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! ! order you to get that out of my sight now! get them! **Get them both!**
* **This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that makes me king! See? See?**
* **Don't just stand there, you morons.**
* **I'il make you regret the day we met. I'il see you drawn and quartered! You beg for death to save you!**
* **And as for your my wife...**
* **I'il have you locked back in that tower for the rest of yours days! I am King! I will have order! I will have perfection! I will Have...**
* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh!!!!!!!!

## Shrek 4-D

### Return as a spirit

* Shh!
* Youre wife? D'ont you mean your widow?
* You fools! This time, its your turn to be entrée!
* Okay, my sweet, take care of them! Bon appétit !

### Try to kill Princess Fiona

* You might as well stop struggling, princess. Soon, you and i will be together forever. With you as my spirit queen, I'il be king of the underworld!
* Exactly! Over she goes, Thelonius!
* No, you nitwit! Not with you on it!
* No numskull!
* Oh, well, never mind him. See you on the other side, princess.
* Impossible! I throught they were dragon food!

### Second death

* Fiona, my ghostly queen, where are you?
* Oh, my angel.
* Oh, no! Not again!
* Uh, it was just a joke. Stay away from me
* Nooooooooooooo!
* Nooooooooooooo!
* Nooooooooooooo!
* Nooooooooooooo!
* Nooooooooooooo!

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