The Haunted Lesson

"*This is a perfect opportunity to bring everyone down a peg by showing them that there's nothing supernatural going on here because ghosts aren't real and Halloween is stupid.*"
―Erik
The Haunted Lesson is the 88th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It marks the first appearance of Shawn Kohne. It was released on October 30, 2018.

## Summary

Erik says that he doesn't really like Halloween because ghosts don't exist, even though his Etiquesette is clearly haunted. Opening credits roll while Big Spooky Salvia plays.

Erik watches a video of an alleged supernatural occurrence on an airplane. While he watches it, a possessed doll sneaks through the Etiquesette. He scrolls down to the comments but they're all in Spanish. He leaves a comment in Spanish and sees the doll sitting in the Etiquesette. Then he watches a reaction video where Guile from Street Fighter pees his pants after some blinds move. He types a comment but the doll appears on his keyboard so Erik throws it at Robot.

Erik tries to find evidence of ghosts from a more reputable source and looks at National Geographic. A hooded figure appears behind Erik while he's watching it and draws a knife. Erik turns around and the figure vanishes. The doll notices the knife. The video doesn't cover the Ghost Box that Erik bought off of eBay so he assumes it's a knock off. Erik leaves his comment.

Father Shawn arrives to debate Erik about the existence of ghosts. Shawn notices the haunted closet and Erik assumes it's just a raccoon. Shawn notices a dark presence in the room and explains that he can see ghosts. The doll picks up the knife. Shawn hears a spirit warning him to look behind him, but the doll gets to him and stabs him in the back. Shawn is possessed by a demon. Erik argues that exorcisms are pointless, possessed Shawn agrees, and Erik wins the debate.

Erik is curious how ghosts are supposedly defeated. He watches a video that tells him to use a smudge stick. He tries it and it casts out the entities that are in the Etiquesette. Erik doesn't notice a change and calls bullshit. But he's still having fun, so he learns that ghosts don't have to be real to be fun. He puts on a ghost hunting show, but the ghost hunter is exploring the Etiquesette. Erik thinks the ghost hunter is a ghost, but then he realizes that he's actually the ghost.

## Comments

*Hago sexo con mi novio favorito como si estuviera en un trampolín mientras él se sienta. Una vez, un fantasma salió de sus cojones y lo adoptamos, pero resultó ser un fantasma de perro, así que lo tiramos a la basura.**(I have sex with my favorite boyfriend as if he were on a trampoline while he sits down. Once, a ghost came out of his balls and we adopted it, but it turned out to be a dog ghost ...so we threw it away.)*
- Erik

*The scariest thing about this video is how the EPA hasn't cracked down on the amount of hairspray this guy uses. Hey dude you better hope Mother Earth can't become a ghost after she dies or else she's gonna haunt your ass like you disturbed a pharaoh's tomb. Not like it matters though because once your irradiated head evaporates our Ozone layer and the sun dries up all of our oceans, we'll go extinct pretty much immediately. Then, in a million years once our bones have turned to dust in the ground, aliens'll likely show up to do a survey of our planet and the only thing they'll find is your hair still fully intact and encased in whatever unholy resin you use to make your head look tall enough to dunk a basketball But hey, at least it's not a man bun*
- Erik

*NatGeo more like FatPeehole lol got you bitch but seriously ghosts are real, I saw one in my room once he looked just like my football coach but he was dressed like a french maid and kept deepthroating a toilet brush. My parents must have seen the ghost too because the next morning there were a bunch of ghost hunters dressed as police officers in my living room taking pictures of the front porch where that ghost left a big fat ghost shit spelling out my name. Now that I think about it maybe it was the ghost of Coach Murphy because none of us ever saw him again after that. That dude was weird though he used to jerk us off in the showers OH NO LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU*
- Erik

*HEY I DIDN'T HAVE A SAGE STICK SO I BURNED A SLIM JIM NOW MY ROOMS FILLED WITH MEAT SMOKE AND SMELLS LIKE A CAR ACCIDENT. I TRIED TO KNOCK THE SMELL OUT BY BURNING SOME OF MY MOMS POTPOURRI BUT THAT JUST MADE MY NOSE START BLEEDING AND MY WHOLE FAMILY'S PASSED OUT IN THE HALLWAY FROM THE FUMES. WTF LADY THIS ADVICE SUCKS AND MY GHOST DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE. HE'S ACTUALLY THE GHOST OF THE GOATSE GUY SO I CALL HIM GHOASTSE. HE LIKES TO HIDE ON MY CEILING WHEN I'M ASLEEP AND I WAKE UP TO SEE HIM STRETCHING HIS ASSHOLE OUT I THINK HE TRIED TO POSSESS MY DOG TOO BECAUSE THAT LITTLE FUCKER'S BEEN BOOFING HIS CHEW TOYS NOT LIKE I CARE I'VE BEEN FILMING IT AND SELLING THE VIDEOS ON THE DARK WEB BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, MO MONEY MO GOBLINS haha happy halloween everybody*
- Erik

## Video

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