106/Regrets

**Optimus Prime has posed:**
The medevacs rush Optimus into the medical facility, quickly patching up all his critical wounds so that he's no longer bleeding out. A few cycles later, he's conscious but still weak.

 The Autobot commander rests quietly against the berth, his optics dim and his mind consumed by a tsunami of regrets. He wonders why he's been allowed to stay Prime for this long.

 Seems he has a visitor, though...

**Prowl has posed:**
Why is Prowl even here? He should leave Prime to brood over his own poor judgment. And yet...there he is, standing in the door, staring disapprovingly at Optimus. One might go out on a limb and say he considers Optimus a friend. Maybe.

**Optimus Prime has posed:**
Optimus glances over at Prowl, a look of genuine but weak surprise crossing his features. His optics widen a little, but he then looks away quickly, ashamed. "A visitor," he says very quietly, "though I hardly deserve one, especially not the Autobot second in command," he says, as if he isn't Prime himself.

**Prowl has posed:**
Prowl sighs, shaking his head. "Permission to speak freely, sir."

**Optimus Prime has posed:**
"You don't need to ask," Optimus says softly, "Please don't ask, ever again," he says, quietly. He doesn't look at Prowl. His expression is distant and sad as he gazes out a nearby window.

**Prowl has posed:**
"You need to shape up, Pax." Prowl says, intentionally using Prime's former name. "Get back up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. The question is how we respond to them. If we want to win this war and end it before too many innocents die, you're going to need to stop 'hoping for the best' and start being more -realistic-."

**Optimus Prime has posed:**
He doesn't say it, but he prefers it when people refer to him that way. His expression softens. He likes being referred to as Pax better. "I know," he says softly. "I'm sorry. I was wrong. What happened at Raskol arena.. that was all my fault. I should have.." he shakes his helm. "It won't happen again. I promise."

 He meets Prowl's gaze evenly. "Thank you," he says honestly, "for caring about me. And for bothering to even come see me when it's the last thing I deserve. I know you'd probably prefer to be doing something else.. more productive."

**Prowl has posed:**
"This is productive." Prowl insists. "You're the Prime. Someone has to remind you of your responsibilities every now nand then."

**Optimus Prime has posed:**
"I wish I wasn't," he says, breaking Prowl's gaze. He stares out the window again.

 "I'm trying, Prowl. But somehow, my best is just not good enough." he says, "I still seem to manage to ruin myself and everyone else, whenever something important is going on."

**Prowl has posed:**
"Yeah? Well I wish Megatron had never betrayed us." Prowl says wryly. "Wishing doesn't get us anywhere. And you haven't always ruined everything. Otherwise you wouldn't even be where you are right now. Why do you think people even listen to you, Optimus? Because they believe in you. Don't waste that."

**Optimus Prime has posed:**
"I don't know," Optimus says faithlessly, "why do people listen to me? Who am I, to say that I can make Cybertron a better place? I can't promise that, Prowl. I'm not even sure, at this point, if it's even worth pursuing. The violence.. it's endless. I hate watching innocents get hurt. I hate watching them die. But I don't know how to stop it, permanently."

**Prowl has posed:**
"If we don't pursue it, then what makes us any better than the former Senate?" Prowl asks, knowing that's a sensitive spot for Optimus. "And if we aren't any better than the Senate, then everything we've done, everything we've accomplished was all for nothing. All those soldiers who died fighting Zeta Prime, or Megatron. They all died for nothing. Is that what you want, Prime? You want to give up, make their sacrifices worthless?"

**Optimus Prime has posed:**
He seems to grow emotional. "No.. nothing. I don't know. I.. What if it's all just a dead end, Prowl? Then they really did die for nothing. Everyone who has died or will die, what if it's all in pursuit of something that ended up being more costly than the gain?"

 He looks away. "I don't want to make their sacrifices worthless. But I don't want to get so carried away with the end goal that I forget about the process."

 "I feel a bit like a blind person leading the blind." He sighs, sounding destitute. "I'm sorry," he says softly. "I'm being a pain, I know. You can go if you want."

**Prowl has posed:**
"Well if you keep this attitude up, it certainly -will- be a dead end." Prowl mutters. "Get your act together, and we might even have a chance at winning this war."

**Optimus Prime has posed:**
"Maybe I shouldn't be the one leading the charge," he says softly. "I'm sorry," he apologizes again, for lack of anything else to say. "I'm sorry for letting you down, and for disappointing you time and time again. And I'm sorry, most of all, for my inadequacy."

 "I won't blame you for despising me and my foolishness. I guess I'll just have to try harder next time."

 Then he lies down, waiting for Prowl to leave in disgust.

**Prowl has posed:**
"No one despises you except the Decepticons. Now stop apologizing and feeling sorry for yourself, and actually -do- something. No one is perfect, but you certainly haven't come this far on sheer luck. If you won't lead us, then who will? The matrix chose you for a reason, Pax. You'd do well to remember that." Prowl reminds him, before finally taking his leave, though he doesn't exactly look disgusted--more just disappointed.

**Optimus Prime has posed:**
"Maybe the Matrix made a mistake," he says softly, staring out the window across from his berth. He doesn't watch the look on Prowl's face. He's certain he already knows how his expression looks.

 Then, after a moment, he gets up, even though he is no shape to even get off the berth. "Y-you're right," he says, "I should..." he trails off. He isn't really even sure what he should be doing, except that lying the berth isn't productive...

 Unfortunately the staples holding his wound shut pop out when he climbs off the berth and he nearly collapses to his knees.

**Prowl has posed:**
Prowl sighs on his way out. "Don't be stupid. Get back in shape first." Then he's gone.

**Prowl has posed:**
Once in the hallway he pushes the signal for the medical techs to report to the room. Of course, they -should- be monitoring all their patients all the time and already be way ahead of him, but never know with some people. Sometimes they need an extra reminder to do their jobs right.

**Optimus Prime has posed:**
Prime doesn't take Prowl's advice. He knows Prowl will call for the medical techs, so he climbs out a window. Amazingly, he makes it back up to his office, where he begins to review the all the news reports related to the escape of Starscream from Raskol Arena. However, several hours later, he passes out there, the missing staples having caused him unnecessary blood loss. The techs will eventually find him there, and have to take him back to the medical facility.