The Carpenter

Welcome Kiddies.  I am doing a little wood-work with using screwdrivers, hammers and other GHOULS from my local HARDSCARE STORE!  Our story's about a carpenter, who really NAILS IT IN THE END.  I call it...

An elderly man cut a large piece board of wood in half, with a saw in his workshop, in southern-Wales one night in 1910.  He removed the wood from his worktable, setting it against a wall, whistling: "Mary Had A Little Lamb".  The carpenter saw an old lady come into his workshop and said to her, "Ah!  Ello, Eve darling".  "Ello Harold, working hard?" she asked him.  "Why, yes my dear!" Harold smiled to his wife.  "Good Harold honey" Eve said, grabbing a hammer from a shelf nearby.  She bashed Harold's head in with it, murdering him.  "Sorry Harold dear, but now I can inherit your carpentry fortune!" Eve laughed.  Eve drug her husband's corpse outside, burying it near the workshop.  She groaned, holding her back and slowly wandered into a home nearby.   Eve sat down in a rocking-chair and sipped a cup of tea on a small end-table, beside her.  She stared up, at a photograph of her and Harold on the front porch of the home together, that was on the fireplace-mantel and sighed.

Six years later, there was a howling-wind blowing passed the carpenter's old workshop one evening.  Inside the home, Eve slept in her bed.  Outside, the ground caved in where Harold was buried at.  In the moving-dirt, a rotted-black-skeletal-hand clawed through the broken-soil, reaching up and out into the wind.  White smoke ran up, out of the open-grave, as the boney-digits cracked, moving about.  Eve awoke to the sounds of the blowing-wind and got out of bed, looking out her bed-room window, seeing the white smoke down, in the side yard by the workshop.  "What in the world?!" she said to herself.  She went downstairs and opened the front door.  The white smoke approached the house and as she looked, the rotted, blackened-skeleton of the carpenter crept out of the smoke, in its dirt-covered-white-apron, brown-shoes, brown-pants, and brown, collared-shirt.  "Harold????" Eve gasped in fright, slamming the door and latching it tight.  Eve hurried as fast as should could go to the living-room, lighting a lantern and looking out the window with it.

The doorknob on the front door shook wildly and turned.  She gasped in fear again, seeing the white smoke rolling in the night-air outside the window.  Just then, an ax glided through the door, and Eve got to it, screaming in horror.  With a few strong chops and whacks, the zombie of the carpenter reached his worm-crawling, dirt-covered boney-hand through the door, unlatching then opening it.  The old corpse approached his wife, as she screamed again and again in complete horror.  The skeleton of Harold laughed in a hoarse-voice, as worms fell out of his decayed-mouth.  The zombie buried the ax deep, into Eve's chest, killing her instantly.  A half hour later, the living dead carpenter was back in his old workshop, at his old worktable.  The zombie cackled hoarsely, as it nailed Eve's dried-out nose, dried-out severed-hands, dried-out lips and dried-out eyeballs to an old piece of wood.

Ha-Ha, it looks like Eve got to become a PART of Harold's carpentry work eh, kiddies?  He's the tyoe that WOOD do that!  At least he AXED her about it first heh-heh-heh-heh.