Raymond Shio

"Drop it like it's hot."

Raymond 'Ray' Shio was a legless hispanic male and leader of the Tibetan Workers Party from 1967-1969.5. He is however less frequently recognised for his portrayal of talented aquatic engineer, Bobby Boucher, in the 1993 sports comedy film, The Waterboy.

## Bio

Raymond was born and raised in a Tesco bakery in Salford, Greater Manchester in 1956, by his single non-binary parent, critically acclaimed magician Dynamo, until the age of 5. After this he was deported to an alternate universe (named Reality 672) in order to hinder and restrain his rapidly growing powers of frog and reptile inflicted torture.

It was during his time here that he was raised by a space-wizard named James Charles who taught him the art of tweeting and sexual misconduct. James Charles was an aged being with a tendency to flying kick Northern-Irish double bass players; this lead to his eventual arrest and capture on Ray's 8th birthday, thoroughly spoiling (and putting an end to) a celebratory outing to the local post office.

Ray ran away from home following on from this traumatising event, and miraculously returned to his prior universe through a senior school art department cupboard, which he found at random whilst conducting an non-consenual and unauthorised strip search of a 14 year old student.

Rejected by his biological parent, Dynamo, Ray delved into a life of crime and misfortune after becoming involved with an internet Pikmin forum. It was here that he was first inspired to commit a terrorist attack (in the form of a sharpened-pencil lobbing) on the site of the Museum of Topography. This gained the attention of like-minded individuals, labouring under the misapprehension that Ray was in fact a white, cis-gender male, who were part of the Tibetan Workers Party.

At the age of 9, Ray was named leader of the aforementioned political group after brutally murdering the prior overseer with a spray painted cucumber (it was adorned in a delightfully refreshing duck egg/teal colour). Gaining the respect of his peers, the young man, with his newly-acquired title, marched on Carrow Road Stadium in Norwich, in search of a homosexual man who had referred to Timotheé Ilyas as both "handsome" and "stunning" in a nearby Wetherspoons bar.

The TWP gained global attention after commiting a since world-renowned epic prank whereby they switched all Greene King beverages served in the stadium with Prime Hydration energy supplement drinks. Company co-owner KSI was later quoted as saying: "I am black" after hearing of the events that afternoon.

The highlight of Ray's two-and-a-half year rule over the party came through the form of a meeting with an Elvis Presley tribute artist. Ray described this as his "life's peak" - he was a huge fan of the King of Rock and Roll's tracks despite his only encounter of his music being him hearing the song 'Polk Salad Annie' performed by Conan O'Brien during a comedy sketch in Los Angeles, California.

Raymond retired at the age of 14 after a hard day's work as a paper boy for a Pakistani newsagents. He was quoted as telling the shop owner to "Stick his poxy job up his Masala shaft", which was met with cheers from surrounding and likeminded racist residents.

Shio died at the hand of those very same residents after he claimed that Michael Ball was "not only convincing, but also powerful" as Inspector Javert in the 2019 iteration of Les Miserables: The Staged Concert. This outlandish and frankly idiot remark saw him beaten to death with a tabby cat named Horatio.

The boy's legacy however lives on in the form of a Whatsapp groupchat under the alias of 'The TWP 💯💪', where similarly aged individuals can be found engaging in virtual reality karaoke sessions. It has been noted by an anonymous insider that a finger buffet is available and provided at said events.

## Special talents

Frog massacre (hindered), unfathomably powerful leadership abilities, rubik's cube solving.