Don't wanna feel this small

> *i close my eyes*
>
>
>
> *thought i was lost but i was stranded*
>
> *i go outside*
> *to my surprise the sky had landed*
>
>
>
>

***don't wanna feel this small*** is the mixtape created for Mia Lazzari-Qian. It was released on March 26, 2017 on 8tracks.

The playlist is about Mia's perspective on life. "i intended for her mix to give off a dreamy atmosphere/theme. one half of her is the serious, studious, perfectionist trying to stay grounded in reality, the other half is a wistful bright, fuzzy dreams and child-like wishes in an upside down world."

Mia's character was partly inspired by Alice Lidell. "Alice" and "Odd Place to Be" were meant to be allusions to Alice.

## Track listing

1. "Odd Place to Be" - Holley Maher - *Odd Place to Be EP* (2011) - 2:58
2. "Yellow Light" - Of Monsters and Men - *My Head Is An Animal* (2012) - 4:52
3. "Alice" - Bianca Ryan - *Alice Single* (2015) - 3:46
4. "You're the Only Thing in Your Way" - Cloud Cult - *Love* (2013) - 3:08
5. "Fall" - Something Corporate - *Leaving through the Window* (2002) - 3:40
6. "Everybody" - Ingrid Michaelson - *Everybody* (2009) - 3:29
7. "And Then You" - Greg Laswell - *Three Flights from Alto Nido* (2008) - 3:29
8. "Welcome Home, Son" - Radical Face - *Ghost* (2007) - 4:47

## Lyrics & Meta

```
**Sweet dreams and shiny things decorate the space**
Between awake and sleeping
**Sometimes it's hard to force your heart to believe**
When it’s no longer dreaming

**This is an odd, odd place to be**
Standing on the brink of what is and what could be

Sometimes I swear it’s only inches away
Half in light, half in shadow
Some sleepless nights I pray for one more day
So I can just stare out the window

This is an odd, odd place to be
Standing on the brink of what is and what could be

```
 "Yellow Light" - Of Monsters and Men

```
[Verse 1: Nanna Bryndís Hilmarsdóttir, Ragnar Þórhallsson]
I'm looking for a place to start
And everything feels so different now
Just grab a hold of my hand
I will lead you through this wonderland

Water up to my knees
But sharks are swimming in the sea
Just follow my yellow light
And ignore all those big warning signs

[Verse 2: Nanna, Ragnar]
Somewhere deep in the dark
A howling beast hears us talk
I dare you to close your eyes
And see all the colors in disguise

Running into the night
The earth is shaking and I see a light
The light is blinding my eyes
As the soft walls eat us alive

[Outro]

```
 "Alice" - Bianca Ryan

```
[Verse 1]
Alice sits by the corner
She feels better than ever
She knows she knows she's not coming home
Alice sits by the corner

[Verse 2]
Alice walks by the river
She feels prettier than ever
Light reflects on water
The sun hits the rain
Alice walks by the river

[Chorus]
Alice, Alice
What is your secret?
Alice, Alice
How do you sleep at night?
Alice, Alice
How do you stand so calm?
When everything you live for is gone

[Verse 3]
Alice watches the sky bird
She feels younger than ever
As she spins and spins the wind hits her dress
Alice watches the sky bird

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Hold my stand till they turn cold
Til my eyes finally see gold
Take my hand, embrace this dance
Our last is almost over
Sell my antiques, tell their story
We my friend made history

[Outro]
Alice knows where she's going
She says in Heaven there's no loneliness
As she reaches her final days she still wears a smile
Alice knows where she's going

```

```
Drive baby drive, until your trouble's gone
Run, baby, run, until it all goes numb

You are the wind, the flood and the flame
Nothing here can get in your way
You've come too far to care what they say
Now you're the only thing in your way

Fly, baby, fly, until nothing can get you down
Sing, baby, sing, until it all comes out

You are the wind, the flood and the flame
Nothing here can get in your way
You've come too far to care what they say
Now You're the only thing in your way

Breathe, baby, breathe, until all is calm
Love, baby, love

You are the wind, the flood and the flame
Nothing here can get in your way
You've come too far to care what they say
Now You're the only thing in your way

```

```
[Verse 1]
I close my eyes, thought I was lost but I was stranded
I go outside, to my surprise the sky had landed
I thought it made more sense if I could only keep you guessing
I was a fool to think that I should stop you from undressing

[Pre-Chorus 1]
Now I’m believing all the words you say
That I can’t say back to you
To you
And so I

[Chorus]
Fall
I don’t wanna feel this small
You know I just can’t handle this, handle this at all
And I just fall
I let my heartbeat drop
I falter as the music stops and you watch me as I stall
And wonder when I
Fall

[Verse 2]
I kiss your neck, I feel you breathing on my shoulder
Still I’m perfect, it must be you cause now it’s over
I was so close, that was the most that I have ever been through
Now old cassettes and cigarettes will be the ones to save you

[Pre-Chorus 2]
How can you ask for me to stay
When all you ever do is go?
Just go
And so I

[Chorus 2]
Fall
I don’t wanna feel this small
You know I just can’t handle this, handle this at all
And so I fall
I let my heartbeat drop
I falter as the music stops and you watch me as I stall
And wonder when I

[Bridge]
Go on
You’ve kept me waiting
Go on
And watch me as I

[Chorus 2]
Fall
I don’t wanna feel this small
You know I just can’t handle this, handle this at all
And so I fall
I let my heartbeat drop
I falter as the music stops and you watch me as I stall
And wonder when I

```

```
​​​​​​​[Intro]
Hmm hmm hmm
Hmm hmm hmm

[Verse 1]
We have fallen down again tonight
In this world it's hard to get it right
Trying to make your heart fit like a glove
What it needs is love, love, love

[Chorus]
Everybody, everybody wants to love
Everybody, everybody wants to be loved
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Everybody, everybody wants to love
Everybody, everybody wants to be loved
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

[Verse 1]
Happy is the heart that still feels pain
Darkness drains and light will come again
Swing open your chest and let it in
Just let the love, love, love begin

[Chorus]
Everybody, everybody wants to love
Everybody, everybody wants to be loved
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Everybody, everybody wants to love
Everybody, everybody wants to be loved
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

[Bridge]
Everybody knows the love
Everybody holds the love
Everybody folds for love
Everybody feels the love
Everybody steals the love
Everybody heals with love

Oh oh oh
Just let the love love love begin

[Chorus]
Everybody, everybody wants to love
Everybody, Everybody wants to be loved
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Just let the love love love begin

Everybody, everybody wants to love
Everybody, everybody wants to be loved
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

```
 "And Then You" - Greg Laswell

```
​​​​​​​    How my thoughts, they spin me around
And how my thoughts, they let me down
And how my thoughts, they spin me around
And how my thoughts, they let me down

How my dreams, they spin me around
And how my dreams, they let me down
And how my thoughts, they spin me around
And how my thoughts, they let me down

Then there's you
Then there's you
Then there's you
Then there's you

How my love, it spins me around
And how my love, it's let me down
And how my thoughts, they spin me around
And how my thoughts, they let me down

Then there's you
Then there's you
Then there's you
Then there's you

You know I know, that you know
I've written it on myself if you can't tell
With a melody that climbs and then falls
Then falls, then falls
Without you
Without you

How my days, they spins me around
And how today, it sets me down
And how my days, they spin me around
And how today, it sets me down

Alongside you
Alongside you
Alongside you

```

```
[Verse 1]
Sometimes the edge serves as more than a friend
Than you thought it would be
And the pages you write in your journal each night
Are your only release
And the mask you put on, it's like words in a song
But there's more to be seen
And the failures you see
Don't seem failures to me here at all

[Chorus]
Oh, I'm begging you, no
There's more life left to go
Oh, I'm begging you, please
'Cause I don't want you to leave

[Verse 2]
Alone as you walk through a crowd and it's
Awkward like nobody sees
And you can't help but wonder would anyone come
After you, if you'd leave
So a pain grows inside and a fear comes alive
Like you'll never be free
But there's no pain you feel
That I know love can't heal here at all

[Chorus]
Oh, I'm begging you, no
There's more life left to go
Oh, I'm begging you, please
'Cause I, I don't you to leave me

[Bridge]
To leave me here on my own
There's nothing to run from, no
There's nothing but fear inside you
I just hope I can find you
And tell you that I know you'll smile again

[Chorus]
Oh, I'm begging you, no
There's more life left to go
Oh, I'm begging you, please
'Cause I don't want you to leave

```