recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Episode 4

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Topics discussed

* Pete is in Florida amongst jewish speaking affectations, Sebastian is in Poughkeepsie in a club run by indians with a booger wall.
* Sebastian confronts entitled shoplifters at his show, poses the same scenario to Pete
* Pete accidentally gives away free download cards of his material, tells a regrettable story of attempted basketball
* The first appearance of Jimmy from Boston and mention of the fridge story
* Pete and Jackie hike to the Hollywood sign, contemplate stealing one of the unattended letters
* Pete says goodbye and good riddance to Los Angeles
* Live clip of Pete acknowledging underwhelmed guests at a show
* Pete's gay neighbors recommend the Hollywood Palms hotel in Palm Springs, dines at the Kobe Steakhouse despite it's Benihana-esque atmosphere
* What is paradise?
* A discussion of spa treatment preferences and personal grooming issues
* Sebastian receives a hand-made blanket from a fan at a live show followed by a request from the family for a personal video tribute

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: "I'm not a prima donna. I don't need a lot."
* Sebastian: "Sure I'll take another photo, if you'll pay for the DVD you just stole."
* Pete: "Oh I'd make a statement. Take the H." (of the Hollywood sign)
* Pete: "You're so organized...you would have made a great assassin."
* Sebastian: "Out of respect for your wife, clean it up!"
* Pete: "At least she's 80, I mean how long can this last?"
Episode 182

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Sebastian works on outfits with his stylist and Pete tries being a mentor!

## Topics discussed

* Reactions to fan backlash from last week's Tim "the Juice Man" interview
* Pete photographs other people's children at the park, the guys deconstruct the child's appearance
* Pete experiences culture shock at the Chautauqua County Fair including food served in plastic dog bowls. Sebastian doesn't do fairs.
* Sebastian wrapped his juice cleanse
* Sebastian is moving into a hotel and has packed his possessions into a storage garage.
* Sebastian has his first appointment with his personal stylist, 2 1/2 hours of changing clothes in the living room
* Listener Melissa Allen reinforces that "it's not just a show, it's a lifestyle."
* Sebastian attempts to discuss the Apple Watch
* Pete goes to the beach where he critiques lifeguard job performance, transports ocean water inland
* Pete is unsure of his responsibility as de-facto mentor to fellow comic Vlad Caamaño, the guys call him on the phone with advice
* Sebastian will be touring the Nike campus, a name Pete mispronounces

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: "It looks like a trash event." (re: Pete's county fair photo)
* Pete: "He just switched exit holes to accommodate the incoming pizza!"
* Sebastian: "Another thing I don't like doing? Eating standing up."
* Pete: "That's why I'm easy - hey go try on this blazer now - easy like Sunday morning..."
* Pete: "Did the stylist tell you to drop f-bombs, too? Or is this just part of the new image with the leather?"
Episode 414

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Episode description

Pete fights lice, Sebastian goes down during a hike and attends a party at A-Rod’s house!

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian is intermittent fasting and begins running up a hill during a hike after learning of a fire nearby the Maniscalco home, which gets the best of him.
* The Maniscalcos have dinner at A-Rod’s house and make every effort to perfect their arrival and leave times.
* Pete shows off some of the gifts from listeners including custom P&S masks and official medical piss containers.
* Pete is concerned after Sadie is playing on the playground with a kid who might have lice.
* The Mansicalcos evacuated for a nearby fire, but were the only ones to do so and turned back around. The situation promoted Sebastian to create a grab-and-go emergency kit that lives in the back of the car.

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: “It’s like a sherpa leaving an oxygen tank!”
* Pete: “You grew up with your father watching this guy belt home runs and now he’s asking you how you like your steak.”
* Pete: “Do you have your bug lighter in the trunk just in case the conversation got boring?” Sebastian: “Hold on, one second, let me go get my mosquito zapper - I have a bit with that.”
* Sebastian: “You have to tell us when you want us to leave, because we’ll sleep over.”
* Pete: “Can you break a me?”

## Tags

Studio, basement, diet, intermittent fasting, knee, meniscus, sprint, run, UPS, nanny, trail, Lana, Ramadan, Fiji, water bottle, Alex Rodriguez, J.Lo, Jennifer Lopez, punctual, dinner, timing, running late, texting, calling, parents, coffee, masks, smoke bombs, chipmunk holes, Walmart, money
Senjutsu Training

.

Using Fairy(s) can give 10 Exp (normal), 100 Exp (Scrit) or Full Lvlup (Lcrit).

* Unlock Vanguard's Power - Defeat *(Kiba)* in Mount Myoboku Wood Fairyland Stage 1
* Unlock Vanguard's Power past lvl 75 - Defeat *(Rinne Sasuke)* in Mount Myoboku Universe Fairyland Stage 1
* Unlock Assaulter's Blade - Defeat *(Ino)* in Mount Myoboku Water Fairyland Stage 1
* Unlock Assaulter's Blade past lvl 75 - Defeat *(4th Hokage)* in Mount Myoboku Unvierse Fairyland Stage 2
* Unlock Support's Wing - Defeat *(Temari)* in Mount Myoboku Lunar Fariryland Stage 1
* Unlock Support's Wing past lvl 40 - Defeat *(Danzo)* in Mount Myoboku Earth Fairyland Sage 1
* Unlock Army's Wind - Defeat *(Hanzo)* in Reincarnated Mount Myoboku Stone 1-1 Stage 1

## Standard Senjutsu

This covers **Vanguard's Power**, **Assaulter's Blade** and **Support's Wings**.
Episode 257

Runtime
 Previous Episode

A crime is committed at the Maniscalco home, Pete interprets The Godfather, and a new take on the guy dragged by United.

## Quotes from the episode

* If Stern is doing a show, his wife is not gonna bop in be like “don’t forget milk”
* There were more adults sleeping on the benches than kids swinging on the swings
* Maybe I’ll light the candle with the tiger whisker!
* Relax, lady.
* They deserve the carpet!
* Do you think Bieber ever saved any lives? NO.
* How come you tell him what it is, but with me it’s like a monkey?
* Hey Sebastian, wanna come over and watch the game with me?
* And that’s why I’m not going over there.
* Get that slug off the plane.
* You know what you guys have at your house that I don’t have at my house? YOU GUYS.
* I can’t believe I got away with the loofa sponge without a correction.
* Don’t worry about the pain. Just fix it.
Episode 404

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Episode description

Pete’s workout turned sexy and he has a questionable parenting incident.

## Topics discussed

* The guys give their latest ‘rona takes including a Fredonia case update, conspiracy theories, and a desire to wipe out the millennials (non-cast listeners of course).
* The Maniscalcos are scoping out the neighborhood to steal some roses while Pete and Sadie play the game Dump or No Dump?
* Pete is prepping to set up a home gym and tells the tale of his first orgasm, a result of a good pump.
* The guys discuss shirtless scenarios including working out, pool parties, and those who swim with their shirts on.
* Pete provides an update on the JJ Watt fade-off theory, he’s still with us!
* Pete instills a lesson in Sadie by cutting her hair after losing a bet.

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: “If we need to do a wipeout on a large majority of the population, I run across way more 20 year old assholes than I do 80 year old assholes.”
* Sebastian: “Thank god we got a roof over our head, food to eat, da da da..”
* Sebastian: “I was doing a set of dumbbells bench press and I’m like ‘One, two, come on bitch!’”
* Pete: “The gym teacher was probably like ‘Alright, come down Pete. Ah, I got another rope fucker up there.’”
* Pete: “Somebody smartened up on that. They looked around and saw all these fat fucks in t-shirts and said ‘I’m gonna make a nice little rubber zipper thing, ya know...out of scuba gear.”
* Sebastian: “Who the fuck cuts their daughter’s hair because they lost a bet?” Pete: “It was more than the bet bro, she fell in the lava!”

## Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, pandemic, Fredonia, millennials, neighbors, neighborhood, home gym, workout, orgasm, bench press, gym class, ropes, climbing rope, shirtless, shirt while swimming, JJ Watt, haircut, parenting
GTS Penetration Chamber 2017

GTS Penetration Chamber 2017 was a two day ppv for GTS Wrestling with 3 matches for the show. the main event being a fatal four way match for the GTS YouTube Wrestling Figures Heavyweight Championship between Grim, Tommy Salami, Robbie E, and current champion Pete Corvus. El Jefe Rojo defended the GTS United States Championship against Kleetus. All the matches were inside the penetration chamber.

**Theme Song: Air By No Wyld**
Episode 409

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Episode description

With both Pete and Sebastian on the verge of breakdown, they lift their spirits by watching fading stars do commercials.

## Topics discussed

* The guys are starting to wear mentally from COVID and question how the nation’s leadership has handled the situation.
* Potential career changes are discussed from hotel management to garbage man.
* Pete and Sebastian debate Aldi grocery stores.
* The guys break down the bath tub commercial of old celebrity Eric Roberts.

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: “Fauci’s got the bedside manner of a fucking Nazi, alright. Can you at least put an unhappy face on when you say we’re gonna be locked up for the next two years guy?”
* Sebastian: “The Aldi I remember is one of those grocery stores that you’d have to shop off the floor.”
* Sebastian: “I am predicting right now May 12, Tuesday afternoon that you’re not going to see the kids go back to school in the fall.”

## Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, pandemic, breakdown, Fauci, live show, drive-in, hotel, garbage man, Fredonia, Walmart, Aldi, grocery store, groceries, sub, sandwich, burner, Twitter account, Eric Roberts, commercial, actor, bath tub, Ratt, Sixfifty clothing
Episode 242

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Sebastian marches in a parade and gets a home nurse. Pete prepares for Christmas and home intruders.

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian is having his tree delivered, and the guys are both in the full spirit of Christmas.
* A throwback clip about Sebastian’s eggnog
* More police activity at Pete’s apartment complex
* Pete is disappointed in his visit to the Central Park Zoo.
* Pete thinks the intervals between his Dad’s kiss-hello greetings are too short
* Pete's request for a rollaway bed requires multiple calls and an impasse of the $25 charge
* Friend of the show JJ Watt experiences a flight incident of his own and keeps the guys updated via text.
* Sebastian is interviewing a night nurse, prompting mixed reactions from friends and family.
* Sebastian attends his first parade, as a float participant in the Chicago Thanksgiving Parade.
* A potential home intruder at Sebastian’s house leads to a discussion of their home defense procedures.

## Quotes from the episode

* No need to rent the UFC fight, just have one dude try to guess what kind of underwear another dude’s wife is wearing, then sit back and enjoy the festivities!
* Outside, inside, upside down. Fire it up. Let’s do this. It’s Trump time. Everybody buy, buy, buy!
* You put that on the roof, your white trash level quotient goes up ten fold.
* Get your new baby Jesus doll for the upcoming year
* Who is he? Al Capone?
* I had my face on a couch pillow…you know a man naked probably stuck that between his legs right on his balls. You know that.
* I speak to no one.
* “Apartment Complex” sounds like something’s gonna go down.
Pete Correale

Honing his stand-up act for nearly two decades in New York City as well as clubs across the country, Pete Correale’s humor connects so strongly because it’s reality-based comedy that comes from the scenarios he encounters in his own life. As he puts it, “If it happened to me, it happened to someone else.”

Punchline magazine rated Correale’s first one-hour stand-up special, The Things We Do for Love, one of the top three specials of 2010.

Since then, Pete has made multiple television appearances on late night TV including, The Late Show with David Letterman, The Tonite Show with Jay Leno, and The Tonite Show with Conan O’Brien. In 2010 Entertainment Weekly named him One of the Top 10 Comics to Watch and in 2013 he filmed a reality show sitcom pilot for A&E and Ryan Seacrest Productions.

Pete grew up on the south shore of Long Island, NY and beginning at an early age found humor in the everyday. While attending SUNY Fredonia, Pete found his interests lie in broadcast radio completing his degree in communications with aspirations to become a radio host. Following graduation, he moved to NYC and quickly realized he needed to pay rent so he took a hotel job working at the front desk. During that time, Pete began dabbling in the city’s late night comedy scene…. open mic’s, bringer shows, improv groups. It didn’t take long for the comedy bug to bite and before he knew it, he was hooked. After years of working various clubs in New York City, performing 10 to 20 minutes sets, sometimes as many as eight in one night, Pete began headlining clubs across the country. He even got to fulfill his earlier goal of co-hosting a live radio show on Sirius XM satellite radio with fellow comedian Jim Breuer for a four-year stint on Breuer Unleashed.

Having just completed a sitcom deal with CBS, (the script was written but the pilot was never filmed), Pete went back to what he does best, filming his second hour-long stand-up comedy special for Showtime in May 2015. Debuting in November 2015, Pete is ready to take his career to new heights as viewers come to see his take on life is a reminder that we all share common ground when it comes to the funny and ‘bouncy’ mishaps of everyday.
Episode 216

Previous Episode

   Sebastian does something unheard of to try and get on an airplane and Pete has a lovely encounter with Vannesa Williams!

## Topics discussed

* It’s Pete’s birthday and also 4/20!
* Watching JJ Watt work out, a discussion of Gold’s gym.
* Pete loves “The Chew”
* How to approach a friend with a bad lifestyle habit
* Pete wraps up his Brian Regan experience
* Sebastian tries to bribe the TSA
* Pete tells a story of tagging along on a Vanessa Williams train
* Walking Dead recap with Pete
* Pete is wrangling roofing contractors

## Quotes from the episode

* Jimmy wants some face cookies!
* The guy carries himself like a Kennedy!
* Is it bouncy to say, ‘No, but I’d love to come with a cup of coffee and watch you work out.'
* Tannum Chating? Tatum Chatum? Learn your hunks, fellas!
* You put on some political talk radio? It enrages me! I get so angry that I lift more weight than if I was listening to Megadeth!
* I could probably lift a car if I was listening to Ted Cruz give a speech.
* You really crushed it again, Zach!
* Everyone should work out. But if you’re smoking, doing drugs, cheating on your wife, that’s none of my business.
* Scorcese’s using Bobby Cavanaugh and Ray Romano because he thinks you’re not gonna work anymore
* We’re looking at end of July…ok so probably end of August…right probably October.
* So you’re doin’ it too? But I had a hundred dollar bill in my hand.
* I wanted pilot treatment.
* Something real black and cool and sexy, but nice.
* I was reluctant to have a kid because we have a $19trillion deficit, and this is zombie-less land!
* The fantastically talented thespian Lenny James.
Episode 249

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Pete takes his family out to an embarrassing dinner and Sebastian saw the play "Hamilton!" Find out if he stayed for the whole thing....

## Quotes from the episode

* You don’t call out the armrest, you just passive-aggressively take it!
* You ever get bothered by the way someone’s enjoying something?
* George Washington’s in this?
Naarth

Base of Operations

Naarth is the alleged leader of the Hand of Naarth. It is believed he is either a lord necromancer or a high lich. Either way, cultists, such as the ones in Laign, appear to worship him and desire to spread his ranks, for what they may believe is a conquest for learning.

Naarth's intentions are unknown, and besides a name, and possible headquarters, nothing is known about Naarth.
Episode 261

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Quotes from the episode

* It’s Jimmy Gaga!
* I will go on record saying I like George Michael better than Michael Jackson and Prince.
* On the wings of love
* Your first born, let her soar into the sky!
* by the end of it, I was ready for another Nic Cage movie!
* I dont wanna be getting my teeth cleaned and they’re cooking stew in the next room!
* My beautiful newborn, who smells like fresh skin and pineapple, and she’s gonna come away from you smelling like a Marlboro Light?
* Well then I gotta hold this kid before 7:30 in the morning!
* There’s my indian, baby!
Episode 417

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Episode description

Sebastian’s neighborhood has professional firework displays and Pete takes notes during a funeral.

## Topics discussed

* Pete attends a funeral and takes note of things he does and does not like to plan for his own future funeral.
* Sebastian recounts his 4th of July weekend including hosting family and professional fireworks in the neighborhood.
* The guys are curious on fireworks viewing ethics, who the primary market is for large displays, and what they were like as kids versus today. Meanwhile, Pete’s driveway show finale is interrupted by a firefly catch.
* Analysis of Martin Sheen’s prescription commercial, check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h\_lnRsuMtV0

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: “When halfway through the sentence you memorize the second half and bop your eyes up and read it to everyone…that’s such a nice move, that’ll get you elected.”
* Pete: “For anyone not doing the video now, I don’t know what the fuck you’re watching on TV anymore.”
* Sebastian: “I want people to kind of see what I look like with shades on to give em a taste.” Pete: “It’s the intro - just in case you were wondering if I look cool outside too.”
* Sebastian: “When the priest goes in on the communion, the wafer, and you hear it - I’ve often thought ‘what, is his fried?’” Pete: “Mine doesn’t sound that delicious!”
* Pete: “You ever have people over and you hear somebody up before you - that annoys me. I’m like ‘C’mon, what’d you have a bad sleep in my fucking castle?’”
* Pete: “You’re doing a light sugar shower over the entire delicacy and then you’re giving me concentrate guy?”
* Pete: “I said to him ‘Man, wouldn’t you like to buy a big black curtain that dangles all the way from the moon?’”
* Pete: “You’re a fucking legend. This is like Picasso just pissing on his own painting when he turns 75.”

## Tags

Funeral, air conditioning, church, coffin, urn, dress code, public speaking, memorize, speech, video, tan, sunscreen, SPF, sunglasses, shades, Rayban, bookkeeper, Oakley, priest, Purell, hand sanitizer, body of christ, Mom, Mother, birthday, Lana, french toast, houseguest, breakfast, cooking, cook, orange juice, pitcher, glass, orange juice, pulp, fresh squeezed, swim suits, bathing suit, blue collar, middle class, grand finale, bug, insect, Single Care, Ray Liotta, Chantix, Matthew McConaughey, Lincoln, Newlywed, iHeart
Episode 232

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Pete gives us a peek inside the writer's room and Sebastian gets his first billboard on Sunset Boulevard!

## Quotes from the episode

* When people give me a gift, they want to give me another gift just because of the reaction.
* That’s a long hem-and-haw!
* We visit the house like a gravesite. We just say our prayers and leave.
* Why is everything so big? (child transport)
* I do the “no-hit scare” move.
* I was literally rubbing my feet in poop.
* Even if I got in it, I don’t know if I could be quiet about it. (escaping through sewer pipe)
* I think you need your own podcast! (To Lana)
* I’ve been driving the opposite way of the billboard, and I look back at it!
* Poland? I don’t think so. (as a vacation destination)
Episode 397

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Episode description

People in pajamas seem to be enjoying the quarantine like a vacation.

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian’s increase in dairy, including goat cheese, gave a scare of Corona-like symptoms in the bathroom.
* Pete is upset at how people are enjoying the quarantine and not leaving their pajamas.
* Sebastian and Lana start playing a game by randomly FaceTiming people, and Chris D’Elia thought an emergency was brewing at the Mansicalco home.
* Sebastian has some troubles bathing Serafina and learns what hair conditioner is for.
* Share the cast with your friends and rate on iTunes, this could be the cast’s Rachel Ray moment!

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: “There’s a large group of society that is treating it like an extended fucking Sunday and I’m really starting to get aggravated.”
* Pete: “We should all be on our front porches in our outfits for work stretching. Literally limbering up waiting for the horn to go off.”
* Sebastian: “...with Serafina to wash her hair...I’m like negotiating with a terrorist over here.”

## Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, pandemic, quarantine, pajamas, dairy, diet, cheese, bathroom, FaceTime, Lana, Chris D'Elia, neighbor, Los Angeles, neighborhood, bath, washing hair
Episode 248

Runtime
 Previous Episode

   The show makes its premiere on SiriusXM!

## Quotes from the episode

* I’m distracted by your teeth, bro!
* I’m getting tired of grown men with a Jansport backpack over an overcoat.
* The last time I had a backpack I was putting a sack lunch in it.
* I didn’t even have a backpack as a kid…I had a briefcase. Black. With a combo.
* There’s a B rating in the window. Do you go in? I don’t check the ratings.
* Dude! I caught a couple of garden snakes in my backyard. Let’s fry em up and have garden snack sandwiches.
* So they’re out and montauk, catch a cupel fish and say hey tommy what do yo say we drive 4 hr s to manhattan and grill this shit up?!
* We’re not having a baby shower…we’re having a baby bash.
* What do you think about me getting a security guard?
* Possible tow job, and my boss thinks I’m getting dental work right now. My whole life is a lie.
* I’m so glad I’m here with you guys, it’s saving me so much editing time.
* I wouldn’t even see that with the real guy.
* By the way, I’m not in it. Would it kill you to throw a still in there?
* I want to do a dry run, no baby, just to see how the stroller is gonna work.
Episode 3

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Topics discussed

* Pete continues the domestic misadventures with his Russian neighbors
* Sebastian is preparing to valet his Porsche in Las Vegas for 3 days, wants to tip enough that it is readily available
* A discussion of when tipping is appropriate and how much
* Live clip of Pete interacting with a bride-to-be
* Sebastian returns to report the outcome of his Vegas trip parking experiment, including clearing the area of debris and constant anxiety.
* Sebastian expounds on how he thinks Pete and Jackie's conversations go down at home
* Sebastian reflects on his Vegas trip with his married friends
* Sebastian's charity appearance undergoes some last-minute cost-cutting, including his fee (offending his personal code of always paying his debts)
* Examples of comedy club cheap-outs

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: "I remember growing up...there would be one fancy Porsche way way back at the back of the parking lot where no other cars were." Sebastian: "I did that with my Toyota Celica!"
* Pete: "By the time this gig is over, I played for shelter!" (After tipping multiple people every day)
* Sebastian: "We dance cool. A lot of hips, and a lot of look-offs."
* Pete: "Did they wire you the full amount? Or that?" Sebastian: "They wired me that, minus $20 for the wire."
* Pete: "Instead of saying 'we only give the headliner one entree,' why don't you just say 'we don't give a shit about you'"
* Pete: "There's a reason you'll never see Tom Hanks in a B-movie. Once you don't wanna see him in A-movies, you're just never gonna see him again."
Episode 393

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Episode description

Other podcasts have all the answers about the coronavirus. We just have questions!

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian is confused about how to identify coronavirus symptoms and Pete thinks he already beat the virus.
* Pete gives an update on what COVID life is like in small town Fredonia, and is amazed that the Amish probably have no clue.
* The guys wonder how the virus travels and if this will come and go forever like flu season.
* Sebastian is in chef mode making cookies and mussels, and is stocking up on groceries.
* The Correale clan starts home schooling with class and Serafina jailbreaks her crib in her sleep sack.

## Quotes from the episode

* Jimmy from Boston: “If Tommy C told ol’ Bis that he could cure the Coronavirus by bathing in glass, this kid would be ass-deep in a tub of broken beer bottles talking about the ‘rona’s got nothing on him now cause he’s completely immune!"
* Pete: “If BP (Brad Pitt) gets it bro, I’m just getting on a boat and floating out into the middle of the ocean for months.”
* Pete: “Holy shit. I need a condom for my credit card now?”
* Sebastian: “‘Oh yeah, I’ll just go to the comedy store and do a set.’ Now I’m walking around my house, in my head trying to figure out ‘Is that funny?’”

## Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, pandemic, virus, flu, Amish, thrift store, cookies, mussels, baking, cooking, home school, crib, sleep sack, Comedy Store, writing, writing assistant
Episode 402

Runtime
 Previous Episode

## Episode description

Sebastian needs some alone time and Pete is back on his feet, trying to invent an escape room for Zoom!

## Topics discussed

* Traditional Coronavirus Edition update with the guys’ latest takes on the pandemic.
* Zoom is the latest craze, brainstorm of ways to improve the tool.
* Sebastian is looking for alone time in quarantine, but is coming out of his fog.
* Analysis of the Pope’s room.
* The guys discuss communication habits with family, Sebastian’s lack of text response, and when to ignore a FaceTime.
* Pete’s photo collage sparks some topics: Clear backpacks, the guys’ preferred toothpastes, Pete’s back has him casting in a Playgirl cover pose, and what personal accessories are acceptable in public.
* How the guys eat featuring Pete being told to slow down and Sebastian driving home in high school to watch Three’s Company (aka Comedy Class).
* Sebastian is getting into chef territory during quarantine.
* Pete is taken to tears from Bocelli’s performance, Sebastian is concerned at his thinness.
* Is JJ Watt attempting a slow fade on the relationship with Pete?

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: “I have yet to be on a Zoom conversation where I didn’t wish a dick didn’t come across the screen.”
* Sebastian: “I ain’t a ball of peaches to live with. My mood swings right now are similar to a teenage girl going through puberty.”
* Lana: “Do you even like me?”
* Pete: “You know who’s really getting scared during this quarantine? The Bobby Flays of the world. Bobby Flay can’t be as funny as you.”
* Sebastian: “I think I peaked at 35 to be honest with you, my metabolism went down after I turned 36 years old.”
* Pete: “He’s trying to do a slow fade out in the relationship with me, and I’m not picking it up.”

## Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, pandemic, Zoom, video conference, Pope, FaceTime, family communication, backpacks, toothpaste, arm and hammer, back injury, eating habits, high school, chef, cooking, Bocelli, JJ Watt
Episode 214

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Pete has a confession to make about the state of the show.

## Topics discussed

* Pete makes a short, solo intro before going into an aborted ship-to-shore conversation between him and Sebastian.
* DJ Lou show within a show.

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: "One half is doing my lines, the other half is going ‘is this guy gonna put the bagel away?’"
* Sebastian: "Probably one of the worst speeches I have ever given or anyone has ever heard."
* Sebastian: "Great speech, like sarcastically" (Danza to Sebastian)
* Sebastian: "This thing is sinkin’ like a ship. Now I got an edit, that’s all that is."
* Pete: "No, until this morning, I didn’t know I had a little white trash inside of me"
* Jimmy from Boston: "Biscuit was worried I was gonna steal his TV, so I had to stay in the kitchen with the staff all night."
Episode 113

Runtime
 Previous Episode

Sebastian is back from the comedy awards. Did he win best club comic? Is Pete still stuck out at sea?

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian recounts his experience at the American Comedy Awards in New York City.
* Sebastian walks into Carbone without a reservation.
* DJ Lou Show within a show: podcast feature
* Pete's on the boat with an awkward handshake
* Listener questions/advice
Episode 199

Runtime
 Previous Episode

The guys talk about getting fired from early jobs, men crying, Christmas stuff, and Sebastian dancing!

## Topics discussed

* Jimmy from Boston's criticisms lead Pete to feel like he's overstepping his bounds
* After consideration, the back catalog of episodes will remain free at no charge, so DJ Lou will not have to replace all the music with royalty-free alternatives
* A discussion of finding hidden talents at a young age leads Pete to divulge his passion for stilt-walking.
* Sebastian talks about telemarketing for Olan Mills Portrait Studios and an ill-fated attempt to get a friend a job alongside him.
* The guys compare observations of people's living behavior, refrigerator decor and house smells from their days working in plumbing and portrait sales.
* Sebastian is taken aback by Pete's reluctance to make the eggnog.
* Sebastian recommends Saint Vincent (2014) starring Bill Murray.
* A discussion of the cathartic value of men crying, and how often is appropriate.
* Sebastian recommends Serial, This American Life #574 Dec 14 2015, tribute to Frank Sinatra.
* Sebastian is interviewing candidates for an assistant, and the talent pool has him disappointed in the interviewees, and the country at large.

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: "Did he go rogue?"
* Pete: "I don't use that, "ASAP." I find it to be rude."
* Sebastian: "You need the documents right away or the client is gonna be furious. Ay, you get it when you get it."
* Pete: "That's the bounciest shit I ever heard; we're in the bottom of the ninth and you're going home for piano lessons?"
* Sebastian: "Did you have anything? Other than this so-called basketball career you think you had?"
* Sebastian: "How the hell are we on episode 200, and just now I'm finding out you walk on stilts?"
* Sebastian: "You're walkin around on stilts, and you're making fun of Danny talking piano?"
* Sebastian: "There's stuff on the bottom where the freezer is!"
* Pete: "I never carried my house smell out with me, man."
* Sebastian: "This guy ain't working for Olan Mills, he's working for Olan Millilldo of the Gambino crime family."
* Sebastian: "You might have to see a doctor. I've never heard of that." Pete: "Oh so it's only OK to cry when a movie star is patting your shoulder?"
* Sebastian: "Not only myself, but flanked by four professional dancers?"
* Sebastian: "Thanks for your time, but you're gonna have to leave."
Episode 385

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## Episode description

The great JJ Watt calls in EXCLUSIVELY to talk about his SNL hosting gig!

## Topics discussed

* The guys open by discussing the DJ Lou exit and some observations of doing the cast on video.
* Pete questions how much freedom Prince Harry and Meghan Markle had as royalty.
* Sebastian has a naked fan ask him for a selfie at the hotel spa in Vegas.
* JJ Watt calls in to discuss his upcoming gig hosting Saturday Night Live.
* The guys discuss handling child incidents at school and raising their voice.
* The guys take a shot at creating poems.
* Pete blows out a tire on his way to the airport.

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: “This guy wants to take a naked selfie? A nelfie?” JJ Watt: “What the hell?”
* Pete: “Is that a great story? What the…I’m off my game at iHeart, this place sucks. I haven’t been funny since we came here bro, the corporate man is dragging me down guy!”
* Pete: “When he said ‘Hi, I’m a big fan’ did he shake your hand?” Sebastian: “Nah, we did a fist pump.” Pete: “That’s practically sex bro.”
* Sebastian: “So what, do you got 2 tickets?” JJ Watt: “Yeah, why you gonna go to Miami?”
* Pete: “It’s unbelievable. The guy’s hosting Saturday Night Live and just did an exclusive with us.”
* Pete” Oh my god you’re explaining it? Get the fuck outta there. What does this guy work for Variety? … I just sold out the Forum, get the fuck outta here. I mean guys on on TV shows can’t even do that, it’s a backwards move asshole - put some clothes on and beat it.”
* Pete: “Run from the sun. Stop. See the sun. Feel the sun. I am the sun.”
* Sebastian: “In a room, dark. Windows, dark. Moonlight, not. I love you.”
* Pete: “If that plane went down they woulda called Jackie and said ‘Pete died.’ How great would that have been when I call her up and go ‘ta-da!’”

## Tags

DJ Lou, DJ Hank, iHeart Radio, Sirius XM, video, camera, office, Sadie, artwork, Prince Harry, Meghan Markle, Queen, Rio, Wynn Hotel, steam room, naked, nude, picture, fan, Robert Redford, monologue, wedding video, gym, turf, handshake, afterparty, Super Bowl, temperature, security, hot tub, pat down, Serafina, cheese basket, mob, poetry, Google that shit, Budget, rental car, John Mayer, Delta, airport, flight, flat tire, Fredonia, Ty Pennington
Episode 392

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## Episode description

Sebastian has a turbulent flight and Pete’s disappointed in Tom Cruise.

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian has a visit from Dr. Ron, who is highly opposed to Pete’s upcoming hip replacement surgery.
* Sebastian flies private and has a bumpy ride, bringing up the question of whether some pilots are better at avoiding turbulence than others.
* The guys question what happens when you lose money on the stock market.
* Sebastian tells the tale of his hangover while shooting a Nightline segment, where he thought he was poisoned.
* Sadie’s piano teacher is playing her own set at the end of recitals.
* The guys discuss child entertainment options and Pete is upset that Sadie gets a nightmare from Scooby Doo.
* Pete is on a three day no-shower stretch and is thinking about going for a full week.

## Quotes from the episode

* Dr. Ron: “You go to a surgeon, you’re going to get surgery. You go to a bakery, you’re going to walk out with some bread.”
* Pete: “I got three specials on Amazon Prime, I am not playing that fish fucking house.”
* Pete: “When you lose your money on the stock market is there a guy somewhere else going ‘Yeah!’ Like who’s got it? Where is it going?"
* Sebastian: “You got people that are untalented in this thing right? So you gotta sit through their shit performance.”
* Pete: “Oh, try not to have a nightmare from Scooby Doo.”
* Sebastian: “It feels like a lot of times the shower build out is an after thought because there are so many times where I gotta literally go in the shower to put the shower on and I get soaked.”

## Tags

North Carolina, South Carolina, Dr. Ron, Doctor Ron, hip surgery, private flight, Air Force One, turbulence, airplane, plane, Italy, Italian, stock market, insider trading, hot bunking, truck driver, Nightline, salon, hangover, drunk, poisoned, home studio, piano, recital, Sadie, Serafina, Mama Mia, ping pong, Scooby Doo, cartoons, nightmare, shower, hair, hotel, JJ Watt, Subway commercial, CBD oil, THC, Tom Cruise, Mummy, scientology
Episode 174

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 Previous Episode

Pete and Sebastian meet up in NYC to tape the show with DJ Lou and it doesn't go well!

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian is interviewed by TMZ on his way in to the studio
* The guys assess each other's appearance
* Sprinkler etiquette
* DJ Lou's Show-Within-A-Show transports us to the ghetto bus with loud talking guy
* Shuli Egar from the Howard Stern show stops by, talks about his Vegas wheelchair pusher script

## Quotes from the episode

* Lenny Marcus: "Would you lose that suspenseful action vibe when you both jump on the scooter together?"
* Pete: "Somebody pull the fire alarm."
* Shuli: "They're like the MySpace of terrorists."
Episode 406

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 Previous Episode

## Episode description

Frustrated with the quarantine, Sebastian gets some relief on Zoom with the biggest stars in Hollywood!

## Topics discussed

* The guys discuss opening of the beaches in California along, half-ass opening being no good, and mask expectations in public.
* Sebastian hops on another star-studded Zoom session.
* Pete is plowing through Netflix shows in quarantine including Virgin River and Northern Rescue.

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: “I’m a shell of a man. I figure everything’s gonna heal and come together about the same time as the economy.”
* Pete: “Somebody shut Fauci up! Does this guy even like sports? What do you want to read a book under a tree that nerdy motherfucker? I want to watch a sporting event, shut the fuck up!”
* Sebastian: “Do they look as he sniffs his own shit and he puts his head up and he’s like ‘What the fuck, I can’t smell my own shit now?’”
* Pete: “It’s unbelievable. At that point I think I’d do a slide out of the frame and get my own video camera to video the Zoom call.”

## Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, pandemic, rib, injury, beaches, Fauci, Zoom, Lenny Kravitz, Tom Hanks, LL Cool J, Mike D, Beastie Boys, Jimmy Fallon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Matthew McConaughey, Dave Chapelle, Netflix, Money Heist, Virgin River, Northern Rescue
Episode 403

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 Previous Episode

## Episode description

Sebastian gets tested for the virus and looks into buying an ostrich!

## Topics discussed

* Following the Coronavirus Edition tradition of Pete’s question to Sebastian “you got it,” Sebastian confirms he does not, but was tested. The guys discuss the testing process and symptoms.
* Sebastian’s father went in for a heart stress test and did even better than last year.
* Pete gives an update on the back situation, and his new brace.
* The guys detail their mask situation, using them out in public, and a DJ Hank flashback to when Sebastian embraced medical masks before they caught on.
* Pete points out the collapsing entertainment value during the pandemic, including living room comedy shows.
* Sebastian tells the story of his cousin’s home invasion incident - and the peak of the confusion between the two, who share the same names. The guys also dive into family naming traditions.
* Donny Osmond returns to celebrate Pete’s birthday with a tune.
* Sebastian explains how ostriches are used in Africa for home protection.
* Pete suggests setting up a Newlywed game show episode to get the wives on, but also to be hosted by the one and only DJ Lou! Details are in the works.

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: “On a normal week you shouldn’t have the type of stress you have now during a pandemic, where you’ve been isolated for 34 days and you’re looking at the second floor window to see what it would feel like if you jumped out and landed on your car hood.”
* Pete: “This back brace has more Velcro than a Coleman tent.”
* The level of entertainment out there, it’s like it’s us and then nothing else - it’s bizarre there’s nothing left.
* Pete: “Yeah keep shaking it Kathy!”
* It’s like having a personal Watt at your house.
* Pete: “You always take the shortcut, don’t you want to get to know your bird?”
* Pete: “I would bathe in a baby pool at a wet market in Wuhan to keep cool, than spend an August night in Manhattan with no air conditioning.”

## Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, pandemic, testing, symptoms, heart test, back injury, back brace, masks, medical mask, living room comedy, Sebastian cousin, home invasion, family naming, last name, Donny Osmond, Pete birthday, ostrich, Newlywed, wives, Lana, Jackie
Episode 394

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 Previous Episode

## Episode description

In this bonus episode, the guys contemplate the following: Where are the government bunkers? Should we buy guns? And- what shoe supersedes all shoes?

## Topics discussed

* COVID check-in topics include Sebastian starting to get worried, Pete thinking it will blow over, the prisoners on jail break, and the history of wet markets in China!
* The guys discuss what age they moved out of their parents’ houses.
* Pete is considering buying a gun to defend his groceries.
* The guys think of what shoe supersedes all other shoes after Sebastian is bothered by his neighbor’s slippers.

## Quotes from the episode

* Sebastian: “The only symptom I have is no fucking work bro.”
* Pete: “I literally put my desk together today ‘Made in China’ I’m like ‘There’s fucking Wuhan corona all over this fucking thing.’”
* Sebastian: “18 years old, I think I had just bought a water bed at 17, let me get some use out of this!” ... Pete: “You were dragging the garden hose through the fucking window and your father’s like ‘Oh god he’s never getting out of here, he’s filling up his bed!’”
* Pete: “It’s this simple okay? Jackie comes home with so many groceries and she needed me to come out and help her bring them in. My neighbor right now, his wife could go ‘Honey we gotta go get groceries before the shelves are gone’ he could look out the window and go ‘we don’t have to go get groceries, I have a gun, and Pete just got em.’”
* Pete: “Don’t kid yourself folks there’s also has to be some spanking of the ass through the years, a spattering of it, so the child actually knows that is in-play.”

## Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, pandemic, prison, jail, wet market, China, Wuhan, bats, bat soup, parents, moving, gun, weapon, shoe, slipper, water bed, furniture, neighbor, parenting
Episode 252

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Sebastian catches a thief in his home, Pete gives parenting advice about tantrums, and DJ Lou is asleep on the job!

## Quotes from the episode

* Conducting yourself like a 1970’s gym teacher around your friend’s 12 year old daughter…
* He’s probably telling the assistant “i cut the guy’s ear and he still rebooked.”
* What peanut are they using?
* her boosha and her jah jah
* get the glaze…and the cronut…delicious
Episode 187

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Sebastian performs Michael Jackson and Pete has yet another incident on a plane!

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian recalls his Michael Jackson performances at the GD Comedy Jam, child's birthday parties
* A series of miscommunications and etiquette faux pas unfold via text message between Pete, Sebastian, Lana and JJ Watt
* The Flying News with Pete: overly familiar TSA gate checker, ape-like touchscreen pounding requires Pete do a turn around behavior correction
* Another stellar Draft Kings sponsor read from the guys
* Pete sets the record straight for a fan in need of recognition
* Introducing the Pete & Sebastian movie star hall of fame
* Sebastian will be appearing on The Fighter & the Kid podcast
* Please review the show on iTunes
* Sebastian teases that he has put in an offer on a 6-month apartment lease while his home is completed, Pete expects ambient haze upon unveiling the results

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: "That song is so good it made me for the first time not mind a biracial ending to a romantic movie...It expanded my mind!"
* Pete: "The way you and Lana are rolling these days I have to ask...is it Michael Jackson's \*actual\* hat?"
* Sebastian: "It's so dramatic, I wish I just had ambient haze following me around during my everyday errands."
* Pete: "I gotta give it up to musicians...it took me \*twice\* to nail it."
* Pete: "This is where I take a hard right into bouncyville."
* Pete: "These people all want a scooby snack? They don't deserve me right now!"
* Sebastian: "Why bother getting a job?" (re: Draft Kings)
* Sebastian: "We have put in an offer on an apartment." Pete: "Oh this is insanity."
* Jimmy from Boston: "A lot more people are interested in fantasy football than sucking on those candy flavored electric dicks you two were peddling before!"
Episode 198

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Pete finally meets JJ Watt and Sebastian gets emotional with Vince Vaughn!

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian visited his accountant and is on edge from the amount of taxes he'll be levied.
* Pete's meeting JJ Watt at the game leaves him overwhelmed with the level of class.
* Pete rocks out with Marc Maron before recording his podcast appearance
* Sebastian discusses the moment of him crying in Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Special.
* Pete reveals that he hasn't shopped or cooked a meal in 15 years.
* Sebastian shares his holiday gift ideas: Nespresso, Consumer Reports subscription, Creed "Bois du Portugal" cologne, artwork by Lana Maniscalco.

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: "I'm already calling him President Trump, cutting through the red tape."
* Pete: "Wouldn’t you think he has a custom cell phone? Do they do that for oversized hands?"
* Sebastian: "You know you're old when you lean over to your wife and the other couple and ask 'do you wanna leave early and beat traffic?'"
* Sebastian: "Are you crying?" Lana: "No."
* Pete: "I've got good staff."
Episode 401

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 Previous Episode

## Episode description

The “Drinking Cast” goes south immediately as Pete has a painfully, embarrassing mishap and Sebastian hits the wall!

## Topics discussed

* Sebastian discusses his interview with Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez, while sipping on an A-Rod gift: A Presidente beer.
* Pete is embarrassed at Fredonian’s lack of social distancing.
* Sebastian was being hunted unknowingly by an insurance company, as result of a mix up with his cousin who shares the same name.
* Pete encounters tragedy mid-cast with his back, and returns to tell the tale of painkillers, navigating the house via crawl, and other emasculating activities.
* Sebastian and Lana are preparing for a Zoom Sader dinner.
* The guys take questions from listeners including the following topics:
	+ Is face lotion bouncy?
	+ Action with the wife during ‘rona?
* Throwback segment to Ebola talk on Episode 140, with scary similarities to the ‘rona.

## Quotes from the episode

* Pete: “When Barry Bonds was up, you’re like ‘this guy is either going to walk or hit it into the fucking bay,’ holy shit.”
* Pete: “People just strolling by 2 feet away, I turn around they’re right behind me. Holy shit, just spreading the Corona all over Fredonia, I’ve never been so embarrassed by my town.”
* Sebastian: “I felt disappointed in myself that I did not know there was a van parked at the park I take my daughter and was snapping photos like I was John Gotti.”
* Pete: “Man, my back is just killing me, I’m afraid it’s going to go out on me at any given moment here, holy shit.” Sebastian: “What, from the hip?” Pete: No, just front raking all day long...”
* Pete: “I like it better when she changes it after every piss. Sometimes she waits 2 or 3 times and I’m like ‘I tell ya, if you were a real nurse, I think I’d fire ya.’”
* Sadie: “What are you doing Dad?” Pete: “Nothing, I’m just sipping my coffee.”

## Tags

Coronavirus, COVID-19, Presidente, beer, A-Rod, J.Lo, Fredonia, neighbors, social distancing, private investigator, knee surgery, back injury, painkillers, crawling, piss bowl, pee bowl, Zoom, Sader, face lotion, ebola