Dark Empyre Festival

*For lucky season 19, we decided to dive into the source material for The Rise of Skywalker aka Dark Empire. What do R2D2 babies look like? How do we feel about young, hot Palpatine? What the heck is a sortie? All that and more as we flash back to the glory days of the great Zahn/Veitch feud of 1992!*

## Episode 151

### **A Star Wars Question**:

 **What do you think about the High Republic?**

### **Highlights:**

* Danny didn't interrupt Meg again!?
* Danny was just saving their strength so they and Heath could interrupt Ash every 45 seconds.
* Legends Boba Fett and Naked Palpatine, welcome to the least arousing episode ever.
* Prediction: Meg will kill the other members of the podron between her thighs.
* Ithorians in the Great Jedi Rescue!
* Meg is finally experiencing Star Wars books like most of us do!
* "The plot of Star Wars is DARTH VADER LANDED ON A PLANET." - Fake fan Heath, who doesn't realize that Vader does not set foot on a planet in the entirety of A New Hope
* SEASON 19 - LORDS OF THE SITH:

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* **WELCOME TO SEASON 20!**
* ASH doesn't care about Jedi
* What is the next Star Wars Book??? When does it come out???
* Lucasfilm's casting has made it easy to pick which Star Wars TV shows to skip.
* Star Wars youtuberswho made a career of doing every show are going to suffer? This is something only a person with other hobbies would say.
* "I read ALL of the Expanded universe before Return of the Jedi!" - Saf, lying

> "I don't need any more Star Wars content." immediately followed by "Give me Mandalorian season 3, give me more Alex Freed, give me the Book of Boba Fett, and I'm good. That's all I need." - Saf
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* "I love finding things we can all enjoy or all shit on equally." - Danny
* Line work: meh, Writing: ugh, Coloring: Beautiful, amazing

* 22:00 Power of the Force Action Figures Spotlight
* "Retro comics from the 70s-80s-90s..." aka the and Iron Ages
* "Luke is horny, he's on Tattooine!" - Meg, setting it up like she's Sugawara Kōshi
* "They're REAL thirsty on Tattooine." - Saf, making it look easy
* Forget Betty vs Joan, the real FEUD is Tom and Tim!
* "Spill the TEA with Tom and Tim"
* What does sorties mean? "It's a dance"
* Saf is the only one who has actual military scifi cred.
* If you dont' see the Civil War coming, you aren't paying attention.
* "What's the deal with Imperial City?" - Danny, not knowing that they've awoken Byn from his slumber
* "To be fair, if I was married to Leia I would CONSTANTLY be talking about MY WIFE LEIA." - Saf
* "I sense the Dark side. Deuces!" Luke Skywalker, running away
* C-3PO is only good when he cares too much AND makes dumb jokes.
* "All of Star Wars is just a story R2 telling to his grand kids." - Danny, George Lucas
* Meg is afraid of is afraid of the vacuum. Perhaps she saw [Mister Mom] as a young mermaid.
* "There's more lore to it , but I don't care." Ash, proving why she's here and not on Skyhoppers any more
* "The dark side doesn't lie" something reylos will actually say when defending Kylo ren
* "I am an easy mark like my father before me"
* Stupid fascist assholes will always live tweet themselves doing crimes.
* Heath lost the privilege of complaining about spoilers when he stopped reading books TEN SEASONS AGO.
* Everybody named Mako is an asshole.
* 57:01 moment of awkward silence for Shug Ninx
* Hans Solo is every Italian Grampa.
* Every woman Han has ever been with is way too cool for him.
* Pencil box selection is second only in importance to trapper keeper selection.
* "My one weapon I must carry with me at all times is this little device that makes me sad whenever I open it." - Danny
* "Because it's the 90s and of course Boba Fett is here!"
* Star Wars can be divided into two eras, White Boba Fett and Good Boba Fett.
* Dark Empire saw the long term return of Boba Fett, but he first escaped the Sarlacc pit in [Star Wars issue 81|1983], so the real Fett-Fanatics knew he would be there.
* Heath asks the worst people possible to explain Boba Fett's popularity.
* "We're not that stupid any more." - Heath, not knowing just how stupid we are.
* The big CG face from TRON is the weak link in the Empire Reborn
* "F in the chat for Yup 70."
* "The only womb allowed in Star Wars is Waru." - Meg,. once again showing her love of cults
* The Rare Pair Pain
* Dark Empire is the Aftermath Trilogy
* "Tim v Tom is the Battle of the Brians" - Meg, needing to talk about figure skating for some reason
* Dark Empire being the influence on the EU is like the AU where Digimon was more popular than Pokemon. (link to polygon)
* 1:12:25 BIMBO BOSS! 1:19:50
* "Shut up Sheev, that's not how the Force works."
* Palpatine wanting your unborn child is the worst gender reveal.

screenshot of meg's tweet about fandom

* 1:16:15 WHY IS HE SO GREEN!?
* Kids, never fight a naked Palpatine.
* "Palpatine can never be captial D Daddy." - Meg, not understanding how broken people really are.
* "I'm glad we were spared the young hot palpatine discourse."
* Heath does not understand hot Kallus.
* "WORSE?.... I wasn't prepared for you to say that..." - Saf
* WHAT IF BLINK IS NASH WINDRIDER?
* Vengabus, but it's Omnibus
* 1:35:30 The first FAKE OUT closing music!???
* "Why is Han a boomer father?"

### **Responses to Last Week's Glistener Question:**

What the heck is Yrica doing?

**Glistener Responses:**

* TomtheFanboy: Yrica is playing Roller Coaster Tycoon with her Character arc.
* Yubsie: Yrica is finding the best available option and then doing the exact opposite.
* X-wings & History: Yrica is playing hard to get but her crush is Alphabet squad
* Liam: Yrica is downgrading
* Jamie: Yrica is running away from her big gay feelings for Chass and Kairos.

**Glistening Bodhi goes to:**

Yubsie (from Saf), Jamie (from Heath), X-wings (from Ash)

### **This Week's Glistener Question:**

What is a tweet we would have seen if twitter existed when Dark empire came out?
(Heath tries to change it to "just the first issue" halfway through everyone's answers, like a real jerk)

* Saf "Something about Threepio and Artoo's gayness."
* Meg "All my tweets would still be about ackbar"
* Ash "I think I'm gonna drop Dark Empire, it's not really my thing."