The Sex Offender Shuffle

the sex offender shuffle is the best song on youtube it is amazing here is the video listen to it m8 here you go

## Lyrics

**SEX OFFENDERS**

The state of Florida has asked us to

Disclose our sexual crimes to you

We were bad, but now we're good

We're moving into your neighborhood

You know we're trying our best to be

Functioning members of society

We're not here to start no trouble

We're legally required to do the "Sex Offender Shuffle"

**LARRY**

I'm Larry Arthauer and I'll refrain

From touching my neighbor's kids again

What I did was not too kind

But I'm a nice guy you'll come to find

I've got a backyard and a real nice pool

Ya'll should come over for a barbecue

We could make some cold drinks in my blender

But do keep in mind that I'm a sex offender

**VERNON**

Vernon Douglas is my name

My battery arrest is what brought me fame

But there's much more to know about me

I love to dance and I love to ski

I zip and zoom on through the snow

Just strap on my boots and watch me go

But I can't ski until December,

'Till then I'm just a sex offender

**CHARLES**

I'm Charles Dolling, dropping rhymes

I've been arrested seven times

I know that sounds like quite a lot

But three of those times were for vandalism

I feel real bad, I got caught

Might do it again, probably not

I'm not here to make pretenses

I'm here because of my sex offenses

**SAM**

I'm Sam Pound, I'm number one

Apologizing for what I've done

In case you're wondering what that was

I snuck into a bathroom and I-

[The video cuts to static and brief clips of Sam miming different acts are seen before returning to normal]

I'm just here to do the "Sex Offender Shuffle"

**RONALD**

[Saxophone Solo]

**LAURA**

Hey everybody, I'm Laura Hughes

Proving girls can do it too

And by it, I mean touch your cousin

Was it worth it, no it wasn't

You won't find me in your child's playset

Cause I've got to wear this ankle bracelet

I'm not here to go on a bender

I'm here because I'm a sex offender

**MARC**

Last name Burmholdt, first name Marc

I'm moving in somewhere on your block

Not in a house but in a van

If you need me to move it, I sure can

The last thing I want is any trouble

I've learnt my lesson from the "Sex Offender Shuffle"

**ARTHUR**

I'm the one they call Arthur Chase

They said I don't have to show my face

My first trial ended in a hung jury

If I'm found guilty, they'll unblur me

I'm not the necrophiliac Arthur Chase

That's a different Arthur Chase

I'm not here to be my own defender

I'm here because I'm possibly a sex offender

**TELLY**

Okay, real quick, I'm not like these people, okay?

This is an extortion plot by my ex-wife who is the *only* witness and she's trying to take away my kids and if-

[He is approached by a man with a gun]

I'm not here to pack my duffel

I'm just here to do the "Sex Offender Shuffle"

**SEX OFFENDERS**

The state of Florida has asked us to

Disclose our sexual crimes to you

We were bad, but now we're good

We're moving into your neighborhood

We're obliged to admit

The crimes for which we were convicted

We're not here to start no trouble

We're legally required to do the "Sex Offender Shuffle"