The Unbelievable Secret Origins Story

## ORIGIN STORY: THE UNBELIEVABLE SECRET

One day many years ago, in the office of the
investigator group "The Unbelievables" the leader, Brian, finishes
his lunch at his desk. He turns to his robot secretary, Victoria, and says
"I am done peacefully eating my hamburger have I had any missed emails?" Victoria turns to Brian and says "you have a new mail." With a disgusted look on Brian's
face he asked "is it about the money for the T-shirts?" Victoria tells him "no Brian, it's a case so good; it'll make you fill your
pants!"

Brian angrily slams his fists
into the desk and screams “you're just a robot! You wouldn't know ‘good’ you don't have any emotions.” Victoria looked at Brian and said “no, but why would I lie about that, I guess I'll just send it back to Sebastian, he appreciates a good case.” Sebastian raises his head over his cubical and says "sup bro, yeah just let me finish my Schneider’s Deli dog and I'll get on it".

A few minutes later Sebastian told Brian “bro, you really need to check out this case! The person who wrote this claims to be a reptilian, and he has a tulpa. The tulpa’s name is Phoebe and she wants to take over the world! He’s afraid she might be strong enough to do it too… but he wants our help to stop her!"

“Tell the 'reptilian', I think his head is a shooting star" says Brian. "Very funny,  what should I really tell him" Sebastian asked. Brian looks at Sebastian with an angry look and yells “tell him he's faking it, tell him he’s a fucking liar, and tell him I don’t have time for his bullshit!” Sebastian turns red with anger and tells him "this person is reaching out to you, and you don't want to help!? Why?!”

Brian quickly responds "Hell I don't know, maybe because it’s all bullshit. Neither reptilians, nor tulpas are real. Hell, Victoria’s feelings aren’t real either. She should have stopped this stupid message from getting through in the first place. You need to tell this ‘reptilian’ that he needs to pick up his brain and read a book. Then he could unlearn the crap he’s learned.” Sebastian sarcastically tells Brian “yeah bro, just read a book. It's so silly, it's so ridiculous, that's why that would work. You know what Brian, you're full of beans.

Brian stares at Sebastian for a few seconds, stunned that he would be stood up to like this. Brian gets angrier the longer he thinks about it. The words explode out of his mouth “YOU KNOW
WHAT? I 'm done with you and your shitty robot Victoria! Both of you can get out! YOU’RE FIRED!”

Sebastian shakes his head and begins to smirk, “you are a real piece of shit bro. You know, you couldn't even learn her real name. She's my lover, and I'm sick of you talking like that to her.” Brian starts laughing manically and says “are you Robo Sexual?" Sebastian says “yes, I am Robo Sexual.” Brian quickly says “OK.”

Sebastian had enough of Brian’s bullshit. He pulls out what appears to be a gun. He takes aim at Brian, and shoots him right in the dick. “YOU SPLIT MY DICK!” Brian screams. Sebastian laughed in his trademark laugh, and then took aim to Brian's foot, and took another shot at him. Brian screams in agony “YOU CRISPY CRITTERED MY FOOT! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?”

“Because bro, I am the reptilian with the tulpa named Phoebe. My real name is Herbert Herbert and I came out of the hollow earth many years ago to study and live amongst the humans. Who you have been calling ‘Victoria’ for years is actually Kimmy BeepBop. Now all three of us are going to take over the world! I wanted to give you a fair opportunity to stop us, but all you care about is five star reviews, and giving yourself props.”

Brian cries “now somethings wrong here.”

Herbert Herbert laughs “sounds like the scam of the century, doesn't it bro?”

Brian cries with his split dick and melted foot “what are you going to do to me?”

Sebastian then looks at him and says “we don’t know. I could pick up your car and flip it over, or I could kill you. I’d be really good at it.”

“Please let allow me to be your servant during your plans for world domination” Brian cries.

Herbert Herbert smirks, “I’ll allow you to do an internet radio show with a co-host of your choice. I want you to spread disinformation, but I want you to do it in a way where you make it sound like you don’t believe in it always. If either you or the co-host gets out of line, I’ll end you personally!”

The legend goes… that’s what happened to the original co-host of the Unbelievable Podcast. Herbert Herbert was able to manifest his Tulpa into a real tangible person to always keep an eye on Brian. Herbert Herbert, or better known now as Sebastian, joins in the majority of the episodes to show his power over him. Not many people know this... the rumor is... Brian moved to Hollywood to try and get away from him though. Sebastian forces Brian to maintain the show still to this day. It’s even been said that every time Sebastian laughs, it’s just to remind Brian what else he
could do to him. I also heard a man died in prison from discussing this.

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