Bah humbug

**ParoDBT 10:** "A Christmas Commerce"

## Challenge

### Challenge Intro

*The Mega Warriors are sitting in the same elimination room from before, but with a light red and green paint job. Neon Grassy notices the opening of the door, opening it for the other contestants.*

**Neon Grassy:** So, who got-- YOU GOT PRESENTS?

**Keychain:** Yeah. Some sort of Christmas gift. I wonder...

*Comic Book stares on as the other Showers enter the room, except for Milkshake. His smile falters slightly.*

### What’s to Come

*Clinko kicks open the door to his bedroom, armed with all the gifts he stole from the competitors.*

**Clinko:** Don we now my good apparel, falala, lalala, la la--**LA**!

*Clinko sets the gifts on the table as he snuggles up. He suddenly gets a phone call.*

**Clarissa:** Dad, what are you doing? Why are the competitors out in the cold?

**Clinko:** Ah, it’s Christmas tomorrow, my dear girl!

**Clarissa:** Y-Yeah. Aren’t you?

**Clinko:** We’re having the big Winter sale! You can’t expect them to get off clean now, do you?

**Clarissa:** …Dad, that’s illegal.

**Clinko:** I’m the law, my dear! Just make sure they don’t go off and goof off now, okay? This is their challenge!

**Clarissa:** D-Dad, I--

*Clinko hangs up.*

**Clinko:** Oh, what’s she cares? I do this to my interns all the time! Let me just rest my little head…

*Clinko closes his eyes.*

…

**???:** Hey…

…

**???:** Dude.

…

**???:** WAKE UP.

**Clinko:** GOSH DARN IT I’m TRYING TO---WHAT!?

*Brown Kind of Flower, covered in Chimney Smoke and chains, arrives in front of Clinko.*

**Brown Kind of Flower:** Wake up, jerk!

**Clinko:** …Brownie, you’re eliminated. Get out of my bedroom.

**Brown Kind of Flower:** I know that, ya jerk! I’m trying to warn you!

**Clinko:** Hah, warn? About what? Global Warming? What a load of--

**Brown Kind of Flower:** I’m trying to sleep too! But FMS and Yoyle and Milkshake have done nothing but sing in my ear for the last 3 hours! It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!

**Clinko:** …So?

**Brown Kind of Flower:** I’m saying… you’re about to be whooped by 3 ghosts! They’re gonna haunt you!

**Clinko:** Oh, I get it. Haha. Christmas Carol. I hate you too.

**Brown Kind of Flower:** Are you not listening to me?! I’m trying to help you for once you--

**Clinko:** Go away, Brownie. They can’t change my actions no matter what they do.

**Brown Kind of Flower:** …FINE. Screw you! I hope these ghosts kick your---

*Clinko grabs a spray bottle and sprays BKoF. He disappears.*

**Clinko:** Hah, Christmas Carol. I saw this movie a couple of times. Scrooge is a total nerd.

*Clinko goes back to bed.*

### The Remorseful Spirit of Christmas Past

*Cuts back to Clinko sleeping soundly in his bed. A spirit starts to fade in.*

**???:** Mr. Clinko… Mr. Clinko…

**Clinko:** I… wha? Who’s---Oh isn’t that great.

*Daisy Flower, this time dressed as a [insert something here] appears in front of Clinko.*

**Daisy Flower:** Greetings, Mr. Clinko. You may know me as Daisy Flower, but---

**Clinko:** Look, I get it. You’re gonna show me my past and why it made me who I am today. I already know my past, you can leave me alone.

**Daisy Flower:** …Please refer to me as the Remorseful Spirit of Good Pasts. I am one of the many spirits who will be visiting you tonight.

**Clinko:** Many, yeah, sure. What are you gonna do? Tell me my aura?

*Daisy Flower stays silent, before touching Clinko on the head.*

**Clinko:** Gross.

**Daisy Flower:** Hmm, your aura. It is rather darkened and hidden beneath sight. What had caused this, must I ask?

**Clinko:** No we are not---

*Daisy Flower grabs Clinko’s hand and disappears. Together, they awaken in a much younger Pendleberry. A younger Clinko stands inside a dollar store.*

**Clinko:** Oh, yeah, sure. Like this one moment is gonna get me to hate Christmas. Look, Dais--Remorseful. I love Christmas, it’s the time of year where I get the most money. So I don’t see--

**Daisy Flower:** Not Christmas, mr. Clinko. Look at this moment.

*The young Clinko goes up to the counter with a pile of Bubblegum in hand.*

**Young!Clinko:** I wanna buy this!

**Cash Register:** Okay, kid. But do you have the money for it?

**Young!Clinko:** Of course I do! It’s… um…

*Young!Clinko runs off.*

**Cash Register:** Beh, dumb kid. Now it’s just more garbage for me to clean up.

**Clinko:** So, what’s this? Is my trauma? Me not being able to buy too much Bubblegum? I don’t even like Bubblegum.

**Daisy Flower:** Clinko. You mustn’t be mistaken. This might seem unimportant, but this really did end up being the huge turning point to your life. Let’s continue onto this journey through your childhood, but keep this one in mind…

*Daisy Flower continues taking Clinko to various places, this time with a familiar face and a girl during his teenage years.*

**Clinko:** Wait, is that…?

**Teen!Clinko:** It’s settled. I’m majoring in Business.

**Teen!Quarterly:** Business? Ye sure? I thought we be mateys sailing the Seven Seas!

**Teen!Clinko:** That was a dream, Quarterly. But I’m growing up. Haven’t you?

**Teen!Cindy:** Clinko, I get what you’re saying, but Quarterly’s been training his whole life to be a sailor. This… This is all out of nowhere.

**Teen!Clinko:** Have you never changed ideals, Cindy? You’ve said in your younger days you wanted to make Video Games, but now you’re saying you want to write!

**Teen!Cindy:** W-Well, yeah, but--

**Teen!Quarterly:** Clinko. What she be saying is that you went from wanting to be adventurous to wanting to be a businessman. She changed too, but she nay done a sudden 180.

**Teen!Clinko:** You two surely understand an adventurer isn’t a likely job, right? You can’t be serious, here.

**Teen!Cindy & Teen!Quarterly:** …

**Clinko:** Okay, Daisy, I get it. Neither of them wanted to support me. But look at me now! I was married to one of them, and the other works under me! This was never any real emotional trauma!

**Daisy Flower:** I’ve told you before, Clinko, I’m not after trauma. I’m after showing the steps to where you are today. Come now, we have another scene for you to witness.

*The Remorseful Spirit of Good Pasts brings Clinko over to the building from before. Clinko has officially bought it.*

**Past!Clinko:** Yeah, tear it down.

**Clinko:** Hah, yeah! Do it, Younger Clinko! Tear that piece of crap down!

**Daisy Flower:** Clinko…

**Past!Cindy:** Clinko? What in heaven’s name are you doing?

**Past!Clinko:** Oh, heya Cindy. I’m just busy tearing down another business that---

**Past!Cindy:** Clinko, this isn’t healthy for the community.

**Past!Clinko:** …Excuse me.

**Past!Cindy:** You can’t just tear down every business that wronged. It’s unhealthy, Clinko. You’re actually doing more harm than anything else.

…

**Past!Clinko:** pfft, yeah. I’m earning us money, sweetheart. With me as the only thriving business, nobody can even approach me! I don’t see what you’re doing for me.

**Past!Cindy:** Raising your kid.

**Past!Clinko:** Sure… Look, I can do that myself dear.

**Past!Cindy:** Then why can’t you? Our daughter doesn’t even know your own name, Clinko. She doesn’t recognize you because you’re never home! Can’t you say anything about that?!

**Past!Clinko:** …Huh? I wasn’t listening. Look, Cindy, I get you’re mad over… something, but think about it like this. I’m… the centerpiece. The mascot. Everyone knows me, everyone LOVES me. Compared to me… you’re nothing. A nobody! You basically need me, you know? As for me… I don’t need you. I could do anything you can do and far better!

*Past!Cindy stares at Clinko. We cut to a train, where Clinko runs after Cindy.*

**Past!Clinko:** Wait, come back! I need you!

**Past!Cindy:** No, you said it yourself. You don’t need me.

**Past!Clinko:** Cindy, you can’t--

**Past!Cindy:** Goodbye, Clinko.

*Cindy disappears as the train leaves. Clinko stares at it in anger.*

**Past!Clinko:** Fine! Be that way! While I’m laughing my ass off in cash, you can be broke and living as a beggar!

*Clinko kicks the ground as he leaves. The current Clinko and Daisy Flower stare in silence.*

**Clinko:** …

**Daisy Flower:** Do you not see, Clinko? Your own ego has blinded you, has shifted you away. Your desire to be better than everyone else… Do you not realize that this is not a life worth living?

**Clinko:** Daisy.

**Daisy Flower:** Remorseful Spirit of Good Pasts.

**Clinko:** Whatever, I’m living the life! I’m rich, I got people who’d sell out their entire networth just to meet me, and who cares about Cindy? She left her own daughter behind just because I said some bad things about her--oh, boo hoo hoo. I’ve got like, 24 more wives, baby. You aren’t special still.

**Daisy Flower:** …Do you think that.

**Clinko:** I’m telling the truth. So go back and bother Brown Kind of Flower, Daisy. I don’t care.

**Daisy Flower:** You failed to take my warning. Perhaps the next soul shall help you instead…

*Daisy begins to lose her petals as she disappears, while Clinko wakes up.*

**Clinko:** I--Oh. Just a dream. Hmph, perhaps I’m just going crazy.

*Clinko goes back to sleep.*