O Captain, My Captain - 8 April, 2020

Cushvlog Episode 1: O Captain, My Captain transcript

Ah!

[Dog barking in the distance]

[Music - Irish Folk Music - The Pogues Glastonbury 1986 - Body of an American]

The Cadillac stood by the house

And the yanks they were within

And the tinker boys they hissed advice

'Hot-wire her with a pin'

Then we turned and shook as we had a look

In the room where the dead men lay

(So big Jim Dwyer made his last trip

To the shores where his father's laid

But fifteen minutes later

We had our first taste of whiskey)

R-I-P to a real one. I think I could say that with full earnestness. R-I-P to maybe the realest one we’ve ever seen. So, obviously Bernie dropped out today. We’re back where we started. Eternal recurrence is a real bitch, fucking annoying, but Nietzsche nailed that so well, asshole, fucking syphilitic, misogynist weirdo but he totally nailed it. There's no question that we live in eternal recurrence, that is our faith, that is our doom.

A lot of people are asking, “Where do we go from here?” That is a question I do not know the answer to. All I can say about that is that the one good thing for people - especially considering the real, you know, stressful crisis moment we're in, for everyone - is that now you don't have to worry, there's one less thing to worry about.

You don't have to worry about the presidential election anymore. Like, you can tone it out. You don't have to pay attention. There's no requirement for you to care about any of this stuff now, and that honestly after what, now, four years or so? Of like, like investing yourself in this shit isn't that kind of a treat? That in the midst of this shit you can just sort of like, read a book, chill out, like try to pretend to be an expert on coronavirus or some shit and you don't have to care about the presidency. You don't have to care about this election. It means nothing. It can be put finally and definitively on the pay no mind list. We don't have to pay it any mind, and that's really nice.

I'm looking forward to that, I'm looking forward to what we're gonna do on the show now that we don't have to talk about this topic which honestly at this point I'm pretty sick of. I mean what else is to be said about the fucking, you know, this mummy, this undead mummy murdering people, sacrificing like as a proof to their, their faith of the Democratic Party. I mean what the hell else do you need to say about what's happening, that it's more… damning than what they're actually doing, so, pay no mind.

So, yeah beyond that I don't know, like people talk about general strikes, it's like with who? You know, what army? Like, we don't have the people. The whole point of the Bernie campaign was to get some numbers, to get some numbers behind this whole thing, to get some, like, some support, some critical mass and now that's pretty much off the table. So now what to do next becomes the question. But I think people who are like alright now we can do direct democracy, now we can do other shit. It’s like, well, we didn't have enough people before this, we don't have enough people now so maybe we need to stop and think about that. I don't know the answers. I still have no idea.

Fuck I forgot something, I'll be right back.

So I don't know what's happening.

What kills me and makes me sad about this is that, for myself personally, the reason I thought it was worthwhile to invest fully in the Bernie campaign, is because I recognized the chief problem of the left in this country was numbers, was people, was people who were invested and willing to do, willing to be activists in whatever way that meant, and to, you know, do the work or whatever that meant. Nobody knew because that’d never been an issue. We never had it, you know, we never had the numbers, haven't had them for decades. Bernie was about getting the numbers and getting the movement--

Oh! Almost fell off that would have been epic though.

It was to get people on board and-- because there's gonna be a crisis in capitalism you know. It's like I didn't really know what Bernie was going to be able to accomplish as president. I honestly didn't think that much… I wasn't really that… I mean I he had a lot of levers he could push, but like he wasn't gonna make revolution or anything like that. What he was gonna do was create a movement, get an army, get people ready to go, as capitalism came closer to crisis.

I mean what's killing me right now with this whole fucking coronavirus thing. Just imagine if Bernie had been president right now while this shit was going on. As compared to what's happening now which is, we're getting the 2008 bailout on steroids, we're getting, we're getting another massive corporate handout. We're getting a situation where when this ends if we still have an intact government and institutions then we will literally use the federal treasury to keep whole the people who will just buy out everything that everybody lost during the course of this thing.

I mean I don't know what Bernie presidency would have meant, but this happening under Bernie president would not have meant that. I can say that for sure. And if it hadn't been a virus, if it had been one of the endogenous crises that are endemic to capitalism finally coming forward again, which it was on the verge of happening, I mean the fucking bond markets and shit were going wild even before coronavirus.

Who knows if they're might have been another thing, and you know, people would have-- there would have been like a coherent response to this, there would have been a coherent notion. Of like, an alternative to a capitalist restructuring that we're gonna get instead, and that would have been true with a Bernie presidency or post Bernie moment when the crisis came and now the crisis is here and it's just too fucking early. It's just too fucking early and that's too bad.

So the task is still the same that it was before Bernie but now without Bernie the question becomes what replaces Bernie as the mechanism for recruitment and mobilization. And I don't know, it's way too early to say. We'll talk about it, people have ideas. I don't know. I mean, it's too early. I think anybody, anybody who's claiming to know is fucking selling something. But yeah like one way or another, the fact is, is that is that we're not prepared for this moment and Bernie represented the best chance to get people prepared for a moment like this, and it didn't happen.

And that's the real tragedy here. As for what Bernie could have done differently, I think anybody arguing for any kind of specific like oh he should have done XYZ, is really just arguing from their own like personal crossing, where they're like “Oh, this is what I always wanted him to do”, and coincidentally that's what he should have done you know it's like, come on.

Why would you need to engage with Biden supporters? The Republican-- the presidential election is no longer a zone of contention, it’s no longer a contest. It's no longer a place to put energy. Why care? Who gives a shit? Cause Bernie's gonna endorse Biden, and you sure as shit don't wanna be in a situation where you feel that need to honor that when it happens! You need to have already put this in your rear view mirror. You already need to put up the pay-no-mind sign, so that when Bernie DOES endorse Biden, and they start banging on you to vote for him, you can just say "Not my problem."

Look what they did to make this happen, look at the norms they've violated, look at the lives they literally lost and killed, look at the people they literally killed to do this. It's an illegitimate process from start to finish, not one that you're obligated to acknowledge the results of, in any way. So, pay no mind. Just fuggeddaboudit. You don't have to pay any attention to the presidential election anymore. Fill that hole with, like, scrimshaw, or collecting jazz records, or just doing more drugs. Whatever! You do not have to care about the presidency anymore.

So that's fun.

And yeah, like, Bernie...there's definitely more versions of the Bernie campaign that would've been more fun to watch and participate in, but I don’t know if they would've been any more effective, because (a) the degree to which Democratic voters are committed to the Democratic Party, (b) the degree to which non-voters are committed to not voting, (c) the degree to which Democratic Party voters are in the thrall of mainstream media and the Party itself, which, they are. So that means there are people saying that Bernie should've been harder on Biden, should've gone harder on Biden.

Well, yeah, but that also would've been treated like all his mild attacks on Biden were, as him trying to undermine the Democrats on behalf of Trump. Because, for Democratic voters, things are all zero-sum, things either benefit Republicans OR Democrats, and that an attack on a Democrat is just for Republicans. That's just the way they think. So, there's no guarantee that that would've worked, especially when the media was willing to give everything the benefit of Joe Biden's spin on it as the assumed thing to do, or as like, the actual reality. They just were like, "Whatever the Biden Campaign’s spin on this is, is the one we're giving prima facia credence to." And Bernie has the maximum burden of proof to get his point of view across. I mean, that's a fundamental difference in which they were treated by the media that was going to make it impossible for him to get enough of the Democratic electorate who watch TV, and believe that shit, to follow along, unless they stayed separated. Which they did! Until Obama made two phone calls and brought them all together. Which is an unprecedented intervention in the process that was done with the specific purpose to defeat one candidate. Then you have what they did during this fucking primary and these, these primaries from Iowa on, even before the coronavirus thing, they've been illegitimate, but the Party still accepted them as legitimate.

All of these, like, five polling places in Milwaukee during the fucking pandemic? Those delegates are gonna get certified. What difference-- I mean, there is no way they were gonna let it happen, period, end of sentence.

Nobody else wants to do an emergency Chapo today, they wanna think some more, they wanna get their thoughts fresh. They wanna get their thoughts, like, in order, but no, I just wanna shoot off the hip, cause, what the fuck, YOLO right? I just wanna go off the hip.

As for, like, well, who to support? Well, in this thing, like, Howie Hawkins? The fucking PSO? I'm sorry, but third party politics are vanity bullshit. Third party politics at the presidential level is for cranks! It's for cranks, I've said this before but it's still fucking true, it's for cranks. Third party presidential races are for cranks. Bernie might not have been a crank because of his position; if he'd decided to run third-party he could've been viable, but like, these guys no one knows? Jill Stein, Gloria La Riva? It's crank bullshit. The point was, you could've had Bernie on the top of the ticket, in the two-party system. That would've been unprecedented and huge. As a third-party, some dickhead nobody knows? It's just a fucking past-time for people who ride recumbent bikes.

So who gives a shit? Vote for whoever you want. I'm not voting for Biden, frankly I don't know if I'll ever respect anyone who does vote for Biden, honestly. Just as a personal thing, like how I wouldn't respect somebody who liked pineapples on pizza or something, just like, as a thing that personally is repulsive to me. So yeah, voting for him is a sign of a weak character, I guess , that’s what I would say. So do what you want. I'll probably write in Bernie. If you wanna write in me, that'd be funny.

If you could get me, like, a percentage-- okay that's not realistic-- if you could get me, like, a half a percent? Or no, like a fraction of a percent? That'd be pretty funny. I don’t know. Whatever, it doesn't matter. Not our problem. Not my problem! "Who care?" As the great Dave, King Dave, big Dave himself says: “Who care?” Doesn't matter.

That's a YP, not an MD.

So, that's one thing you don't have to worry about.

The task of the Bernie campaign, though, still has to be done, which is organizing people. The thing that's gonna help that in this moment is that politics very soon is gonna stop being a spectator sport for the bourgeoisie and start being a thing that regular people have to contend with every day of their lives. But man, it really kills me to think, like, alright, so you're in this situation now where you have these wildcat labor actions to try to resist literally having their lives put on the line by, like, their employers, like the Amazon warehouses and Instacart. Where it's like, you guys aren't giving us protection, and we're not making enough money to risk our fucking lives! Imagine how-- I mean, right now, people are excited for it, but like, what has happened? Amazon has fired one of the guys who was organizing their walkout on Staten Island, and said that it was because he "violated the social distancing rules," which is just hilarious. It seems like a lot of them are not happening because people are fucking scared, as well they should be, because they know that they're fucked, they know they are fucked if it doesn't work. And it probably won't work!

Imagine if people were in this situation, where people are at these vital bottlenecks where resources that we need to keep this fucking society from collapsing overnight into fucking Road Warrior, had Bernie fucking Sanders as President? Imagine what that would do with their leverage against their bosses. That's IF we didn't see massive nationalizations, which I don't even think they're off the table in a situation like this. And more importantly, it would've meant millions and millions of people would have voted for this, endorsed it, who had some sort of investment in its success as a project. So, that's what pains me, is to think about what we could've had. And now, yeah, we've got people in a situation where they're trying to exert leverage, in a situation where if they get fired, they're gonna get cast into a reserve army of labor that now numbers, what, 30% of the population? Or soon will?

It's tough. It's very difficult, which is why I'm seeing people saying, "Alright Bernie's gone time for the General Strike! Okay, Bernie's gone! Time for the revolution." If there weren't the numbers, in America, in the fat, happy heart of the World Empire, if you didn't have enough people willing to just go and vote for social democrat Bernie Sanders in this country, you really think you're gonna have the numbers to fucking take up arms in a mass struggle? Or like, simultaneously take their labor out of the fucking economy? You really think that the numbers exist to make THAT happen? C'mon, man! C'mon man. C’mon. C’mon…

That's why the chief thing, the question of like, Bernie losing or whatever, does not change the central challenge which is getting people. Getting people on your side, and beyond that, getting people that are willing to act. That's it. That's it, that's the only thing. All other questions, strategies, tactics, they need to be subordinated to the question of that. "What does that?"

What annoys ME right now is, I don't fucking know! I know there's a lotta people with theories, I've not been convinced by any of them. Doesn't mean any of them are wrong, just means that I don't really feel confident. I just know that that's gotta be the goal. And I think, I definitely know, that presidential politics at this point are not gonna get it done. Without Bernie there, try to get people to write in, or get people to vote for Gloria La Riva or get the Green Party to 3% or something, that is just a waste of time. Cause you're not expanding anything there, you are pitching to the same gallery of disaffected cranks who are always looking for some third party to vote for, as opposite to the massive, massive, massive mass of people who don't vote. Only hope is there. “The only hope is with the proles”, as Winston Smith said.

When people say, "A new party to supplant the Democrats," which of course is, that's more promising than the idea of them competing with the Democrats, that would have to be a complete overnight collapse, like the Whigs. The Whigs are the model here.

Problem is, the Whigs had a specific historical context that made that happen. The main one is the split that happened - that destroyed the Whigs - was regional. Which meant that, when the Whigs broke up over slavery, basically the entirety of the Northern Whig electorate, everyone who voted Whig in the North was already pre-organized to join the party that would embody Whig principles and be anti-slavery. And that was the Republicans. In fact, it was the emergence of the Republicans, and their success early in Freemont, that made the Whig collapse happen! Because people saw an alternative. But the thing was, it was self-organizing and instantly coherent along state lines. If you lived in a Northern state and were a Whig, you were probably anti-slavery, because the Democrats basically were the doe-faced party of collaboration with the Southern slave-power, for the most part, before the Civil War. The Northern-- if you were against slavery in the North, the Democratic Party was not really for you. That's why there were things like the Liberty Party and the Free Soil Party, and eventually the Republicans, was because of that non-existent Democratic home for people who weren’t in favor of slavery. Which meant that basically every Whig in the North was ready to vote for the party that would basically be Whigs Minus Slavery, which was the Republicans.

If this were to happen now, the split is ideological, and it's not as clean, it's not state-based. It's not like-- they were instantly able to take over not only half of the Whig party, but the half that was in states where they could run the table, which they did! That's not the same thing here.

So… whether it's party politics or not, I don't know. Another thing that I don't… And the other big difference between this and the split that happened in the Whig Party, you're not really, there's not really a conflict at the top there. You're all capitalists, the question is whether you're a capitalist who thinks that we should accommodate slavery as a component of the supply chain. That's it. This is, would be, a capitalist party, and like its anti-capitalist wing breaking off, and that would make it the enemy of the entire establishment, which did not exist with slavery, of course.

All I can say is that right now I am a shrugging-emoji-guy on all questions of tactics, policy, what to do next, not the least of all because we're in the middle of an unprecedented pandemic and economic collapse, two things that have never happened. It's certainly never happened during an election year. I mean, this is, people say "Well you've been living in interesting times." My god, the 21st century has been ABSURD. Specifically, the last year, Jesus! Like, just, Trump got in and it really has been like someone put a cinder block on the fucking gas pedal, and now we're in totally uncharted territory. So that's another reason why I hesitate to say X, Y, or Z is the next path forward, because we don't even know what the state of play is gonna be in, what, even six months from now. Six months! Four months! TWO MONTHS! Who knows?! Is there even gonna BE an election in 2020? That's a fucking open question to me, that no one has really answered to my specifications.

History is turning, the wheel of history is turning. Somebody's gotta do something, something has gotta give. There's no question about that. What that thing will be is the thing I don't know. “Don't ask me, I'm just a girl!”, as Malibu Stacy said.

Honestly, the most realistic left formation to emerge from the like, from the American context we have. Like, imagining the different types of revolutions we have, left-wing revolutions we could have in this country. Let's rank them by likelihood of actually happening.

I would say, least likely, the succdem fantasy of electoral reform. Because we know, obviously, before you get anywhere close to the real engine-house of power, the State comes in, the apparatus, first and foremost the capitalist class, the intelligence community, like, the mafia version that could break the rules. Even if you're winning within the rules, they could always decide that the rules don't exist, with the help of institutions like the intelligence community. So that makes that very unlikely, like, to just happen straight through.

Maybe a little more likely but still wildly unlikely? Is the idea of any kind of Maoist peasant-war or ML-style Bolshevik coup. Just wildly improbable to me, given the conditions in this country. I mean, we might be neo-peasants, right? Like I've said, the American lumpen-person in this country is basically a medieval peasant in terms of their relationship to each other and media and things like that. They are not the industrial subjects that Marx imagined having a revolution. BUT, they don't live like peasants, they don't live on the land. They live disconnected completely from the land.

That's why I said instead of potatoes in a sack, they're Pringles in a tube. They've been processed, they've been chopped up, they've been fried, they've been put inside of cardboard. They're completely disconnected from their natural context, so therefore they can't fend for themselves. That makes them vulnerable, and makes them incapable of the type of action we're talking about, that a peasant army could-- like those landless Hakka tribesmen of southern China, who made up the bulk of anti-imperialism insurgencies all though China's history.

We don't have those people. Where are you gonna go, you're gonna go out, you're gonna camp out in the green belt behind your fucking subdivision? You know? You're gonna do a defense in depth of the fucking House of Yes in Bushwick? So that's also unlikely.

Honestly, still very unlikely, but more likely than either of those? Is some sort of middle level free officer coup in the military. Like, Egypt had with Nasser, or the Carnation Revolution in Portugal. That's more likely than any of them. Is those icky troops, like some mid-level radicalized officers, chopping off the head of the snake and instituting some kind of barracks socialism. During, of course, a moment of deep crisis.

[Question: Would it be a soft coup?]

Oh it wouldn't be a soft coup. I think a soft coup would be like, just the suspension of like forms of democratic government, which they honestly might do to Trump. I'm not leaving that out. Like, it's claimed that they might have already done Bolsonaro. If they haven't done it to Trump yet, they might. And if they do, he would really relieved, honestly. You don't think Trump would be relieved at this moment? You don't think he's terrified of being president right now? You don't think that he would love a chance to not have this responsibility? And have the military, his beautiful soldiers-- [Trump Impression]: HIS BEAUTIFUL SOLDIERS! LOOK AT THEM! LOOK AT THE HANDSOME GENERALS, THEY WANNA TAKE OVER! THEY'RE SAYING I CAN TAKE A NAP. THEY'RE SAYING I CAN GO TO BED!

Yes, Frederick Jameson, his talk about how, like, the only model we have for any kind of social organism that like, I talked about, institutes the notion of a social self instead of a radically individualized neoliberal self, is the military. It's the only institution. Now, it adds to that, like, fascistic shit, and cult of violence and death worship and imperialism and all that stuff, but it also has the idea of like, an esprit de corps, and a like of a, collective project. Which we do not have. And is one of the chief obstacles of trying to organize among people. Because they don't think that way. I know I don't. I know I struggle to build that notion in my head because it's just not something I'm build into.

So, yeah man, the free officers. Are there free officers-- are there any free officers in the house? Are there any free officers that might wanna, uh, consider, like, doing, like, a Smedley Butler type deal. Not the Business Plot, but when he exposed the Business Plot, if he'd done a counter-Business Plot. Sadly I don't really think so. Honestly I think all the anti-war-- all the socialist troops are like, podcasters. That's the highest ranking, genuinely like, socialist troop, in the army, is probably like a Lance corporal with a podcast or something. But who knows. Who the fuck knows.

I think they might be switching their love to Newson from Cuomo, just because the fiction of Cuomo doing such a great job is just becoming harder and harder to maintain in the face of the continued disastrous New York response and horrifying death rates. That's why it's like, because it's like, they didn't pick Cuomo because they necessarily WANTED him, they put Cuomo there as a backstop, as a last resort, in a In Case Of Trouble, Break Glass situation because he had a buy-in with the media because people saw him as this decisive figure, thanks to his press conferences. It was like, they were looking for any port in a storm, and he was looking good. Now though, couple weeks later, and the failure of New York to see the curve bend at all is not looking so good. Meanwhile the curve does seem to be bending in California, and so Newson's looking good. So now it's gonna be him. He's gonna be the backup. But that just shows you, they have an overriding desire to have a backup to Biden because they know he can't-- he can't hack it. But who it is specifically IS contingent on public response, and on facts on the ground. There's only so much that can be massaged. Like, you can take a genuine phenomenon like Cuomo's press conferences that got people, like, feeling good. Got people feeling a little reassured after watching the president just get sweaty and start freaking out and speaking in tongues. That was a real thing and so they tried to say "Oh good, good, good, we got this!" But then he just kept fucking up. He kept insisting on cutting Medicaid, while the bodies keep piling up. While it's still the highest in the country. Meanwhile you got another Democrat across the country who seems to have whatever-- probably through luck more than anything, has actually done things. Although apparently San Francisco took things very seriously, unlike New York. And that wasn't just Cuomo, that was de Bunglero. Let's not forget our own deBungler deBungled the fuck out of this thing. He was telling people, like two weeks after we knew for a fact that asymptomatic carriers could transmit it, that if you weren't feeling sick, you couldn't transmit it, and so you should go out. Epic. Just, one of our greatest Bunglers. One of our greatest Bunglers.

Honestly more of a Bungler than Obungler, actually, because at least the Obungler got to be president for two terms. DeBunglero got two terms as mayor and then deBungled the fuck out of a presidential race. Ahhh... Debungler. Ahh.

[Question: Do you see a place for propaganda of the deed in a post-Bernie left?]

Do I see a place for propaganda of the deed in a post-Bernie left? I'm not sure, officer. I'm not sure if I wanna commit right now to endorsing criminal acts on a public space that I'm recording that literally NSA could be watching right now.  [Referring to the joint he's smoking]: No, this... I have a medical exemption. I have to do this... I've been prescribed this for having... I have Podcaster's Hip. And this helps me. So please officer, I'm just going about my day, sir. Please. Please sir. Yeah.

Stop talking about doing crimes on a... c'mon, man. I don't know about propaganda of the deed, but I can tell you about propaganda of the weed!

[Question: What about sudden strikes seizing means (of production)?]

What about sudden strikes seizing means? Well, first of all, I love that as a tongue twister. Sudden strikes seizing means. But how does that not beg the question of where you get the people to do the sudden strikes? Like, once again, people are talking about tactical questions, and you're all assuming a can opener. The can opener you're assuming is a organized critical mass of radicals who are all gonna do the same thing at the same time! That is the can opener that all questions of tactics assume. So I'm saying you can't assume the can opener, and you have to start asking that question. Before you ask any others! You ask, how do we get people! Anybody asking any other questions has skipped a step. And they're assuming a can opener.

What about sudden strikes seizing means... sudden strikes seizing means, strudden sikes seizing means, sudding strikes seizing means, the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. The arsonist has oddly shaped feet.

I'm drinking another Spanish Red, I'm enjoying the Spanish Red lately. They're bold is the thing, and they've got a nice mineral taste to them. I don't know where it's from. It looks like it's a [Spanish words] mixture.

[Chat: Give me a reason to be happy at all.]

Give you a reason to be happy at all? Sir, that is beyond my pay grade. Happiness comes from within. I cannot make one happy.

[Question: Did you watch the Lil Peep documentary?]

I did not watch the Lil Peep documentary, no.

[Question: How big of a tool is David Axelrod?]

How big of a tool is David Axelrod?! His name is literally two tools. An axel and a rod. Those are both tools. His name is two tools!

[Question: What is happiness?]

Happiness is right action. Happiness is knowing that you're on the path of the beam. That's it. Happiness is feeling a concord between your deeds and your spirit.

[Question: Should I boof?]

I mean maybe yeah, maybe do some boofing. Boof it up.

[Question: Where's Virgil?]

Don't know where Virgil is, don't care. He's submitted something for us to put on the show and we didn't do it, because it's like, he's not talking to us, so why would we do it, so, sorry. I'm not gonna bother with him.

How are you guys all of a sudden finding the Orson Welles commercial. That thing's a classic! That thing's... that thing's been around-- remember that thing got [???] from The Critic in 1994. How are you people all finding this shit out every two weeks? I guess it's a new group of young people finding something. I hate being reminded that there's a new group of young people. There's always a new group of young people every day and I hate it. Zoomer psychopaths.

[Question: Will the Republican Party become the left party?]

The Republican Party becoming the left party? No. That's idiotic. No, the Republicans will not be the left party. Because then they wouldn't be the Republicans. It's like a Ship of Theseus thing. The right exists to-- the Republican Party exists to actually exercise power on behalf of capital. As opposed to the Democratic Party which exists to provide a formal, sort of, ritual... the Democratic Party is there to provide a ritual consecration of that action. Literally like manufactured consent for what capital wants to do, that's why the Democrats exist. So the Republican Party, literally it's job is to function as capitalism's civil manifestation. How could it be the left party?! Regardless of what people are trying to gamify, with like, Tucker Carlson, or shit, or are intellectually talking about, or trying to brand with whatever - what's gonna change that functional reality? Maybe if you're in a situation where capitalism is so dire, that like there has to be some kind of crisis... a crisis accommodation made with the people right, and like, it'll be like how Bismarck instituted social welfare in late 1800s Germany, to forestall the socialists. Say they do that, "Even though this is an expression of the state, we're willing to live with this to forestall losing control of power." If that's the case, it's gonna happen regardless, because it's gonna be in capitalists' interest to do it. It's not gonna be based on gamified shit and memes and like, people watching Tucker Carlson, or Josh Hawley doing a town hall meeting. It's gonna happen because capitalism is in a dire enough crisis point that it... The thing is, the reason I think it's meaningless, is that if we get to that point of that deep of a crisis, then I don't think that capitalism will be interested enough in maintaining the need for a mask of consent to matter. It'll just rule directly. The whole mask will drop, and then, that's what I'm talking about when I talk about a direct military dictatorship, or some sort of civil... some sort of corporate... The question is will the US military nationalize Amazon, or will Amazon buy the US military? Whichever way the machination goes, the result is the same. Profit extraction at the barrel of a gun by a corporate military dictatorship. That's gonna be the abolition of politics. And that means that all these left-right distinctions mean nothing. So that's why I don't think that's the thing.

[Question: Like Singapore?]

Singapore is a good example, yes. Singapore is a very good example. Thank you. Singapore is a perfect example. Love the viewers.

Real politics is gonna start, and that's the thing to be excited about. It's the thing to be scared of too, because nobody knows what to do, and we aren't as far along, frankly, as I thought we needed to be. That's just... I thought the whole point of the Bernie thing was to get us on track to be in the best possible position for the crisis. That was what I really thought. Being in the... with the best hand, the best organization, best mobilization, the best control of institutions when the moment came. Now the moment is here too early. But I don't think it's necessarily fatally too early. It's just the simple fact that it's not as far along as I would have liked, or thought necessary. That's it. But I don't know. I was just guessing. We're all just fucking guessing, man. None of us know. Nobody knows shit. Nobody knows shit. Nobody knows fucking shit about shit. It's nuts. It's nuts.

[Question: What about mutual aid?]

My skepticism about mutual aid is that is has to scale up. And I don't know how it does. Scaling up is the key, because it's like, people say we can use mutual aid to get a critical mass of people, but you're still talking about uncoordinated activity by people spontaneously and hoping it accumulates to something. And historically that hasn't worked in this country. I don't know where it has honestly, but it sure as shit hasn't worked here. You guys know that Mondragon was established under Franco, right? Hard to imagine it could be a real threat to capitalism or an alternative to it if it was allowed to exist under Franco.

But no, my good news for the day, is, guys, you don't have to worry about presidential politics anymore. That's my takeaway. If you gotta have a takeaway, if today you're feeling bad, feeling owned. And honestly more than anything, don't you feel owned. Don't you feel like all those globe emoji dipshits and fucking frauds and hacks and idiots and concern trolls. Don't you hate that they're gloating right now, and posting memes at you. They're posting the Ghana dancing funeral guys memes at you. They're doing it right now. We're all taking a break from having the Ghana meme guy given to us by fucking globe emojis. And Never Bernie housewives. It's happening. And that sucks. But at least you don't have to care from now on. And you can watch the amazing, amazing, transcendentally great, I really hope we get them, I... the main reason I want there to be an election in November is because I want there to be debates. I need debates. And I want a BUNCH of debates. I don't just want three debates. And I want them all to be different. I want like, five or six debates, and they all have to have different, like, obstacles, like in the Five Obstructions. Like, there'd be a debate where they get all their medication from them, and they can't take their medication for the 24 hours before. Then they do one where they get DOUBLE the regular medication. They do one... fuck it, they do one standing in a pool of water. And of course we would need a sons debate instead of a VP debate. Obviously. And that would be so much fun. And you know what? I watched those debates with Bernie with my heart in my chest screaming, thundering. I'm gonna take Chinese research chemicals, and like, fucking, acid, and MDMA, and fucking, invent a new way to get high from air conditioning freon. And I'm gonna watch those debates and make my brain... like, peel it like a potato. And let the raw fucking nerves... allow Biden vs Trump to overlay onto my sizzling fucking cortex.

[Chat: And one where they swap medication.]

Oh, one where they swap medication! That's great! See, you guys are coming up with great ideas too! We're collaborating right now guys, I love it. I love you guys.

[Question: Will Chapo be streaming the debates?]

Oh yeah, we will definitely be streaming those debates. Those... I would honestly break quarantine-- if we're still in quarantine and we're not dead, I will break quarantine to go with my homies and watch those debates, while my brain is just being annihilated by high level hallucinogens in large doses. I'll take the hydroxychloroquine shit. I know, I want Hunter vs Eric and Don Jr. They should be able to tag team him, and they'll still both be annihilated. I want it, because that's a perfect way to just show how superior he is to them. He could beat both of them with one hand tied behind his back, and the other hand smoking crack.

[Question: What would you say if Matt Yglesias was here?]

What would I say if Matt Yglesias was here? Oh boy. Redacted redacted parody parody redacted parody. The one thing I like about Matt Yglesias, and this is an honest fact, is that I honestly have a deep strong hatred for very many people in D.C., specifically the media class scumbags, most specifically the media scumbags I grew up watching and like, observing from the sidelines during the blog era. Like... Klein, Yglesias, these guys. These craven little worms who went from supporting the Iraq War to... to just becoming these just hollow men. Hollow stuffed men. And, so I abuse them all a lot on the internet, Josh Barro, guys like that. The thing is I don't know to what degree they care. Like Josh Barro blocks me so I know he's seen me but I don't know what his attitude is. Eli Lake, obviously, people make fun of him because of the way he's like "Oh, the trolls, LOL, oh, you guys I love your passion! I love your passion!" And you can kinda be like "Oh, I bet you really are annoyed by this." But honestly I don't know if he is. I don't know if Eli Lake actually cares. He might honestly think it's all funny. Cause he's one of these guys who just doesn't give a shit about anything. But Yglesias really really values his own sense of his intelligence, and his... liberal credentials. And he really does believe in this shit about himself. And that's why I know that he has seen everything I've ever said about him, and that he hates me. And that makes me feel good. I'm glad he hates me. I'm glad I elicit that feeling from him. And I know he can say it's not true, but I'll never believe him. I have sort of a fondness for him, by virtue of the fact that I know I got to him. From hell's heart I stab at thee, for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee.

There's this guy on Twitter who just started a new account. I think it's called Yglesias Takes. This guy, he's going around and finding old tweets that people have done about Yglesias, like jokes at his expense and stuff like that. So he's been retweeting a bunch of my old tweets about him that I had totally forgotten about. I just wanted to read some, because... because they're pretty good, I'm not gonna lie.

...Not a lot of these are that good, I'm still looking for the good ones...

This was one I did in like, 2015 that I thought was just very-- it wasn't really a joke, it was an observation that is 100% true:

"Matt Yglesias is haunted by the knowledge that there are a hundred thousand wonkish Ivy grads who with his exact voice and skill set."

And that's why I think he's got a chip on his shoulder and is so hostile is because he is aware of the fact that he is a fucking mediocrity. He is 100% a case of nepotism. His dad went to Harvard and then he went to Harvard. It's that simple. I bet that explains 99% of his ascent, and he knows it, and it haunts him, that he's interchangable. He's literally just another egg bitch in Washington.

"For Christmas, Matt Yglesias got his maid a coupon book good for hundreds of dollars of savings at her favorite local restaurant."

I forgot about that one, I thought that one was pretty good.

[Laughter]

"Somewhere in suburban Virginia, Matt Yglesias is browbeating an Applebees waitress into accepting an expired Chili's groupon."

I liked that one.

One time I went absolutely ham on him and Barro because they were joking about how Brown was a lesser Ivy, because they both went to Harvard, but both of them were legacies. In fact, Barro's dad was in the Harvard Economics Department when he was going there. One million percent nepotism. And these guys are chortling about how Brown was a lesser Ivy. And I just lost it. I was like "You are such sniveling scumbags. You little fucking manor-born Habsburg-jawed fucking twats. If you were like 19th century Spaniards you'd be hunting peasants for sport, and that would be more fucking honest than whatever this concern troll-y like, civil society shit is, given how much you deeply have contempt for people who you have absolutely no superiority to, because of the fucking, because if actual work and value was like... if your job related to your competent, you'd be fucking folding shirts at the Gap if you were fucking lucky. Like you are an interchangeable cog." And Barro blocked me for that and hasn't unblocked me since. Yglesias blocked me for a little bit, but then I think people made fun of him for it, and like were like, "Hey, what the hell, don't you like ideas?" and as a show of generosity he unblocked me, which I love because it means he's seen it. He's seen everything I've ever said about him.

One of them I really like was, this was based on this movie, The Box, with Cameron Diaz if anyone's seen, and it's... oh shit, it's [the hour for the livestream] almost up. Well, I guess, making fun of Yglesias will be the end of this.

The last joke was: "The guy from that movie The Box goes to Yglesias, 'Press this button and you'll get a million dollars, but someone somewhere that you don't know will di--' and he just presses the button, and he goes 'Wow, that was really fast.'" and I thought that was good.

Alright guys, I gotta go. The clock is up. So... I hope if you listened to this you feel a little better about a bad day, and ready to do whatever needs to be done, as the conditions change and as we realize what's happening around us and resolve to do what's necessary to liberate the human race from its shackles of oppression. Let's do it. Let's get that bread guys. Let's get that bread. Goodbye.