Splash Text

**Splash Texts** are a feature present on the Main Menu. They are displayed in blue (usually) letters. These consist of over 200 randomly-selected messages. Their style ranges from witty, to random, to hints and tips, and even to lore. There are numerous splash texts that reference Ethel, Cinnabar's then-girlfriend. These are obviously inspired by *Minecraft*'s similar feature.

Almost all of the splash texts are fixed, as in they will be the same every time you see them. Some, however, are dynamic and can change. For example, displaying what time you opened the game (message 191), what day of the week it is (message 189), or what your current highscore is (message 165).

## Messages

1. They're Micro! They're Tanks! They're Micro Tanks!
2. Boom! Boom! Boom!
3. Liiiiiiiiiiiiime...
4. Ethel has 7+ laughs!
5. Nothing invisible!
6. Micro Tanks Moment
7. Navy is NOTHING like Electro!
8. They will, they will shoot you
9. I'm typing this at 3:14am. Pulling a Naomi!
10. Over 100 missions!
11. Each tank is <100 microns in length
12. Written in GML!
13. About 6 lines of code
14. You know you should be doing something else...!
15. PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW!!!!
16. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
17. Green was the last tank added to the Main Campaign
18. Originally 'Guns'!
19. Dyhyaot
20. July 17th is the birthday of Micro Tanks
21. Now with bullets that can go any direction other than right!
22. Yes they hit walls and bounce off
23. Which power-up will you uncover next?
24. When the game throws you 4 limes, make lemon & lime
25. I am not going to Americanize the spellin- oh dang nab it!
26. May contain traces of nuts
27. Enjoy eating fish while ya can!
28. Bed can wait, writing these is fun!
29. Oof.
30. The new tanks game on the block
31. Shout out to my X and Y
32. The drivers of the tanks trained years for this moment!
33. TONKS!
34. Explore the maps properly
35. There once was a cat named W
36. The wheels on the tank go VRR VRR VRR
37. I wonder if tanks can stall like cars
38. Tank insurance is super expensive!
39. Don't get your tank totaled, they're a bit pricey!
40. How many fools can you kill today?
41. Made by Cinnabar
42. Smooth Basalt is Best Basalt
43. Shout out to my playlist that got me through repetitive coding tasks!
44. Good morning, afternoon, or night!
45. Tickle tickle!
46. Tank go BRRRRRRRRR
47. May contain traces of fish
48. May contain traces of soy
49. May contain traces of mustard
50. WARNING: This game contains tanks!
51. Mission 55 looks like the number 55
52. Once known as Tank War Z... yeahhh glad that name didn't stick.
53. Oooooohhhhh yyeeeeeaaahhhhhh!!
54. Don't do drugs, kids.
55. BR BR BR BR BR BR BR BR BR BR BR BR BR BR BR BR DONK!
56. TUNKS!
57. TINKS!
58. TENKS!
59. Fairly badass
60. Also try the German version, Micrö Tänks!
61. Absolutely no surprises
62. Contains an Ethel level
63. Don't get caught by the moonshadow
64. Also try Tankbox!
65. Strings and Arrays and many-a Switch statement!
66. Don't forget the +c when integrating
67. Don't forget the 'break;' at the end of a switch case
68. Wii Play had 8 other games!
69. Nice!
70. Your mine explosions will reach Drones
71. The tanks' diet consists of nematodes, paramecia, and bacteria
72. This splash text is so long that it will go off the end of the page and nobody will ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever know how it testicles.
73. This game has never once crashed!
74. Tank you very much for playing!
75. Microscopus Tankus
76. They tell me random != funny... what a lederhosening sushi fraternity
77. If you're not overwhelmed or underwhelmed, you're just whelmed
78. Lime Tanks can solve Wordle in one try every time
79. Welcome to the club!
80. Sandbags and mad frags
81. Hey baby I hear the blue tanks are calling
82. You can upgrade your tank in the shops!
83. Good things happen to the most thorough of explorers
84. But what are they even fighting for?
85. Also try Tanks: The Crusades!
86. Woo Tanks!
87. Prepare for some nostalgia
88. Such a meme
89. Made with 100% British Tanks
90. Explosions that somehow transcend metal crates and kill what's on the other side
91. NO MORE CORNER-STUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
92. Spooding is bad, okay!
93. Welcome back
94. Turret babies and lemon pies
95. Is there an Iceberg for this game?
96. Insert reference current day meme that will be incredibly dated in 3 years
97. The dress is black and blue
98. Lived next door to Alice for 24 years... but who the hecking heck is Alice?!
99. Chorizo is awesome
100. Join the piv! (That's Person Important Very)
101. More Easter Eggs than the stores in March
102. IT'S SNOWING!!!!!
103. Happy Birthday! (there's a 1 in 365 chance I'm right here!)
104. Contains explosions
105. Bonk? Bonk.
106. Completely 100% Rick-Roll free, I would never GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN, NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND...
107. Totally 90s
108. On this side of the Atlantic we call cookies Biscuits
109. Can you outsmart a calculator?
110. Did you know there's an element called Molybdenum? And it's in YOU?!
111. BABY TACO!!!
112. Get ready to rumble!
113. Red and yellow and pink and green *(NOTE: this message is shown in multicolour)*
114. It's what all the kids are into nowadays
115. Gotta smash them all!
116. Another one bites the rust
117. Oh crud the sun's already coming up...
118. More levels than elements in our universe
119. Merp
120. No longer a solitary experience
121. Hotter than the centre of a steak bake
122. Swimming in gravy, tea, and chicken tikka masala
123. Power-ups stack with permanent upgrades!
124. Kill many tanks without dying for killstreak bonuses!
125. May cause you to see colourful tanks when you close your eyes
126. Good wholesome fun
127. They look so small from up here
128. Do Micro Tanks dream of microscopic sheep?
129. Also try the sequel, Nano Tanks!
130. Woke up only to find it was all a dream
131. Let your friends know!
132. THONK! Clink! Fwop! THONK! Clink! BOOOM!
133. They all have a Napoleon complex
134. Totally metallic
135. What's brown and smells like a lime tank? A brown tank!
136. It takes 17,000 of them to screw in a lightbulb
137. Made with an alloy that is 5% Tankium (symbol Tk)
138. May make you scream like crazy
139. Will you reach the Ethel level?
140. Can you find Jimmy the turretless tank?
141. Technoblade never dies!
142. Is it magic, or just really advanced sci-fi?
143. They all have 'J' names
144. Too small to be seen with the naked eye
145. Ultimate laugh is best laugh!
146. KILI-KILI KILITI!
147. Something for grandpa to write a dissertation about
148. GAAAAAAASP!
149. May make you fall off your chair
150. Are they all really small, or are you just really big?
151. ETHELLLLLLLL
152. The actual line is 'Magic Mirror on the Wall' (and Ethel's the fairest of them all!)
153. Enjoy your 100% personalised copy of the game!
154. T is real 3107
155. 6:42 in the 10k subs video
156. *[This splash text depends on how many times you have seen it.]*
	* *[If this is your first time seeing it]:* You are seeing this splash text for the very first time! How special!
	* *[If you have seen it 2+ (X) times]:* You have seen this splash text X times
157. 'Mine Diamonds' is an amazing song in its own special way
158. Are Cyan Tanks made of diamonds?!
159. If there were a Mauve Tank, it would be about 6 different tanks
160. The Simpsons predicted this! (and parodied it too)
161. Now with useful mines!
162. Double digits, broskis!
163. Now with four bosses
164. Gold lies at the end of the Rainbow
165. Can you beat your record of *[your current record]* kills?
166. *[total shots fired]* shots fired! (so far)
167. Not the kind that holds micro fish
168. Mother said I was a tank-driver before I could car-drive
169. Who needs sleep anyways?
170. 27:55 in the 20k subs video
171. A bit like that other tank shooting game you played
172. DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
173. They frequently get accused of tanksplaining
174. Expires February 31st
175. Is the sky blue....... OR AZURE?!?!?!
176. Bless you if you just sneezed
177. Supercalifragilisticexpialidociorupefrigimiptajexticopialogilizaffineptapotodompahompanaftirespasicious
178. GRANNY! I GOT THE JOB!
179. It's over and done with, it's over and done with!
180. The game
181. About 3 players
182. Find Gems to unlock additional weapon slots in the Arsenal
183. OGs will remember the old controls... \*shudder\*
184. 1926-2022
185. How the heck do magnets work?!
186. R.I.P. that deadline
187. Slay some smol tanks and become master of your domain
188. It's probably not Christmas, but in case it is... Merry Christmas!
189. *[This splash text depends on what day of the week it is.]*
	* *[If it's Monday]*: Today is Monday. Oof.
	* *[Tuesday]*: Today is Tuesday. Tired but there's still three days to go.
	* *[Wednesday]*: Today is Wednesday. Finally, halfway through the week!
	* *[Thursday]*: Today is Thursday. Time to find a throwback.
	* *[Friday]*: Today is Friday! YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
	* *[Saturday]*: Today is Saturday! Let's not talk about last night.
	* *[Sunday]*: Sunday. Also known as 'Pre-Monday'.
190. Who's playing this game in *[the current year]*?
191. This menu has been open since *[HH:MM:SS that you opened the game]*
192. Are you working hard or hardly working?
193. The procrastination is strong
194. May or may not contain nukes
195. Played by about 16 celebrities
196. Find the number that's different: 66666666666966666666666
197. Cited by 43
198. More fun than rollercoasters!
199. Remember kids: real tanks are not toys
200. TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TWO HUNDRED!
201. Hobo humping slobo babe
202. ADD LECTERNS PLEASE!
203. (Tanks)\*10^-6
204. Step right up and play the day away
205. Look mum! I made a game!
206. This game gud
207. -Insert witty comment-
208. I'm feeling a bit red today *(NOTE: this message is shown in red)*
209. Gotta get up, gotta get up, gotta get up

## Trivia

* There is in fact a hidden "message 0". It will never be shown because the game only selects a number between 1 and however many messages there are at the time.
	+ Message 0 reads "This message will never be shown".
	+ Originally, message 0 was added as a special version for Ethel on her birthday. Message 0 read "Happy birthday, Ethel!"
* Cinnabar has stated splash texts are strictly non-political.
	+ Despite this, message 173 is clearly satirising the sociopolitical term "mansplaining".
* Message 4 originally said "Ethel has 6+ laughs!"
* Message 25 was added after someone on the discord server requested Cinnabar Americanize the game's text to "appeal to the audience". (The game strictly sticks to British English throughout).
* Cinnabar's numerous food allergies are referenced in the splash texts as "May contain traces of (food)".
* Message 60's umlauted letters do not render in-game, instead showing boxes.
* The profanity in message 72 is never shown in-game because the text goes far off the page.
* Message 161 was thought of by a member on the Discord server.
* Message 184 is a tribute to Queen Elizabeth II.
* Message 201 was a removed splash text from *Minecraft*. Cinnabar thought it would be funny to add it to *Micro Tanks* seeing as it was deemed unfit for *Minecraft.*
* Splash texts were first introduced in Test Build 7. However, they were originally thought up and going to be added in Test Build 6, but Cinnabar was having problems with them.