Paralogue 9: Doing God's Work...Kinda

*A young girl rides into a town on horseback, and it isn't long before she's approached by a villager.*

**Villager**: Hey, is that a healing staff you have there?

**???**: Uh, yeah?

**Villager**: Could you help me out? My child's broken his leg and our best doctor doesn't offer his services on church days.

**???**: I guess I can help. Show me the way.

**Villager**: Right.

*After quickly healing the villager's child, the girl departs.*

**Villager**: Thank you so much! How can I ever repay you?

**???**: Eh, you could probably spare a couple of gold pieces for me, couldn't you?

**Villager**: I guess... Can I at least know your name?

**???**: I'm Kelsie. Call me Keshie though.

**Villager**: Thank you so much...Keshie!

**Kelsie**: Heh, no problem.

*As she starts to trot out of town, she hears a scream coming from the large church in the center of town.*

**Kelsie**: Oh no. Do I want to know what's going on over there? ...I should check, shouldn't I? -sigh-

*She rides to the church to see a band of brigands attempting to break in.*

**Kelsie**: Hey! What do you think you're doing? That's a place for worship!

**Thug**: This church is bound to have some priceless artifacts in it. We intend on scoring ourselves some a' that. Can't let the religious fanatics have it all to themselves, now can we?

**Kelsie**: Don't you dare. I don't worship any gods either, but I at least have the respect to not barge in on what's supposed to be a safe place.

**Thug**: And what exactly are you gonna do to stop us?

**Kelsie**: Um...

*She looks down at her hand, which holds only a healing staff. As a Troubadour, she doesn't have any way to stop him and his gang.*

**Kelsie**: I think I'm regretting this decision.

**Thug**: I'll make sure of that.

*The thug advances on Kelsie with his axe raised. When he makes a move to swing it, he is startled by a loud roar.*

**Thug**: What the hell was that?!

*Suddenly, a dragon descends on them and scares him off.*

**Maggie**: Don't threaten a defenseless girl like this!

**Kelsie**: Holy shit it's a dragon. Could it be...?

**Maggie**: Are you okay?

**Kelsie**: Uh, yeah. Thanks!

**Maggie**: No problem. I have more friends coming, so it won't just be me and you.

**Kelsie**: The Shepherds?

**Maggie**: Actually, yeah!

**Kelsie**: Oh, it is! Thank goodness! And thanks for the assist too. I can't fight to save my life yet.

**Maggie**: I understand. ...Hey, aren't you a little freaked out by a giant, talking dragon?

**Kelsie**: No. Actually, I grew up with one.

**Maggie**: What?! You'll have to tell me about them! It's hard to come across another Manakete these days.

*The gang of thugs advances on the two girls, but stop in their tracks when they see the Shepherds round the corner.*

**Sarah**: Thanks for going ahead, Maggie.

**Maggie**: No problem!

**Joos**: Alright, what's this about y'all trying to break into this church?

**Signele**: (Oh my god, you picked up my habit of saying y'all you fucking dork.)

**Thug**: Uh...guys! Split up! Forget these bozos and get into the church no matter what! I'll get away from here richer if it kills y'a—you!

**Knifez**: Shit, they dispersed!

**Joos**: Alright, everyone split up. Go find every entrance and window you can and stop them from getting in. Um...who's the nicest looking of you guys? I need a couple of you to get into the church and guard the townsfolk.

**DJ**: Why, I'm flattered but we're both mar—

**Joos**: I mean those of us that don't look like we'd kill someone!

**DJ**: In that case, I'll volunteer.

**Chloe**: Royalty is always a good thing to have at the people's sides in times like these, so I will as well.

**Joos**: Cool. You two do that, everyone else split up.

**Kelsie**: I can help. Sort of.

**Joos**: How so?

**Kelsie**: I can heal. Troubadour. 's what I do.

**Joos**: Okay, great! You circle the church and heal anyone you see who needs help. If anyone breaks in, take care of the fallout from that too. Chloe will be in the church too, but you can never have too many healers.

**Kelsie**: Got it.

*She rides off and the battle begins. There are three entrances to the huge church and each one has three people stationed at it. Joos, Sam and Knifez take the front, Spencer, Danica and Jayde station themselves at one of the sides, and Chase, Grace and Dakota get the back entrance. The rest of the Shepherds pick off bandits attempting to get in through different means. Everyone that can fly keeps a bird's-eye view of the church so they can assist anyone who might need help. As Kelsie rides around the church healing people, she stops by Spencer, Danica and Jayde.*

**Jayde**: Oh look, it's Kesh!

**Danica**: Oh hey, fancy meeting you here.

**Kelsie**: Hi guys! How many of us have met up so far?

**Jayde**: Us three and Bohl.

**Kelsie**: Sweet. I'm gonna have to go tell Bohl he's a nerd later.

**Spencer**: ...Bad. Uh, bad idea.

**Kelsie**: What? He is.

**Danica**: As much as I love calling people nerds with you, Bohl's been through a lot lately. It's better to leave him be.

**Kelsie**: If you say so. You're still a nerd though, Jayde.

**Jayde**: Geeze, thanks.

**Spencer**: So have you found your parents yet?

**Kelsie**: I sure have!

**Spencer**: Awesome. Behind you.

*Kelsie's horse deftly maneuvers out of the way so Spencer can leap at a bandit attempting to attack his friend from behind.*

**Kelsie**: Thanks, Spence.

**Spencer**: No problem.

*At the front of the church, a large group of attackers surges on Knifez and his tacticians. The three look between each other and gulp. Sam nods and they jump into the group, cutting down foes nearly effortlessly. Just when it seems like they're finally about to be overwhelmed, Green swoops in to contribute to the defense of the church.*

**Knifez**: Thanks for the assist!

**Green**: What else am I here for?

*In the frenzy, one man manages to sneak past them and into the church. He prepares to attack some scared civilians, but before he can, a wind spell knocks him off his feet. His sword flies away, clattering against the concrete floor as he falls hard. He scrambles to retrieve his sword, but DJ steps on his hand before he can reach it.*

**DJ**: Let's take this outside. I don't want to have to spill blood in a church.

*As that matter gets resolved, Chase, Grace and Dakota run into someone who thinks they can sneak in through the back. He takes one look at the trio protecting the doors and turns tail to run.*

**Grace**: Not so fast.

*She hurls her throwing axe at the man and hits him in the back, sending him tumbling to the ground, screaming in pain.*

**Grace**: Which one of you is gonna go put him out of his misery?

**Dakota**: I'll do it.

**Chase**: Thanks Dakota.

*In a tree not far from the church, an enemy sniper is stationed, aiming his bow carefully, attempting to shoot through the windows to pick off the people inside. They bring DJ into their sight and take a deep breath to steady themselves. Suddenly, an arrow pierces their wrist and they scream in pain. The arrow flies toward its intended target as the sniper falls out of the tree.*

**Pika**: Oh shit! I couldn't get to him in time!

*The arrow shatters the window and Pika's eyes widen as she hears DJ yelp in pain from inside the church. She shoots a glare at the enemy she just shot at to see them struggling to nock another arrow. This one's aimed at her heart. Her opponent shoots the arrow, but their wrist injury isn't enough to keep their aim stable. Pika, unaware of this, jumps to the side and directly into the arrow's new trajectory. It punctures her gut and she falls to her knees. She readies an arrow and points it at the sniper just in time for them to do the same. The two shoot their arrows at the same time, both well aware of their end approaching.*

*Pika's arrow pierces the sniper's heart, but she doesn't have the time to jump out of the way. Fortunately for her, the second arrow also suffers from a bad trajectory and soars right past her face.*

**Pika**: That was...close.

*She starts to pass out just as Joanne rides up to her.*

**Joanne**: Oh my god, Pika! Are you alright?

**Pika**: Ergh...got shot. DJ did too.

**Joanne**: Chloe's got him. I heard he got hit in the chest, but he'll be alright. I heard you scream and came to check on you.

**Pika**: Fuck you...I didn't scream.

*That's when she faints. Joanne jumps off her horse and attempts to help Pika to a healer. All attempts at putting Pika on the horse end in pained groans and more blood loss, so she's left sitting with Pika until a healer finally approaches.*

**Joanne**: Is that...oh, new girl!

**Kelsie**: What? What's going on here?

**Joanne**: Our archer got shot. We need your help.

**Kelsie**: I'm on it.

*Kelsie jumps from her horse and helps heal Pika to the best of her abilities.*

**Pika**: Am I alright?

**Kelsie**: You'll be okay. Don't exert yourself too much in the future though.

**Pika**: Thankfully I can fight without moving too much, so that's doable. Thanks, new girl.

*Finally, the battle winds down until only the man who Kelsie confronted remains. He keeps to the shadows, fooling the Shepherds into thinking the battle's over. His eyes land on Kelsie as she approaches Knifez and he decides to keep an eye on her.*

**Kelsie**: Can I join?

**Knifez**: Uh, sure. I guess I could always use another healer. Why do you ask?

**Kelsie**: Because my moms are here.

**Knifez**: Oh, I see. 'Nother future kid, huh? Alright, well you can stay.

**Kelsie**: Yay!

**Knifez**: ...Wait, moms?

**Spencer**: Oh, hey. You made it through the battle.

**Kelsie**: What's that supposed to mean?!

**Spencer**: Well you can't exactly fight, now can you?

**Kelsie**: Oh fuck off. I wasn't planning on saving a bunch of church-goers today, but I guess that's how it goes.

**Spencer**: What's the problem with helping church-goers?

**Kelsie**: Oh, nothing, really. I just don't agree with them is all. I don't worship any gods.

**Spencer**: Um, we communed with Naga to get sent back here.

**Kelsie**: And?

**Spencer**: She's a literal god.

**Kelsie**: I'm not saying gods aren't real, I'm just saying I don't worship them. Geeze, why do you gotta be so uptight all the time?

**Spencer**: Wha...

**Kelsie**: Nerd. Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna talk to my moms.

**Spencer**: You should be considerate! My father got injured tod—

**Kelsie**: Neeeeeeeerd.

*She leaves Spencer speechless and approaches her mothers.*

**Sarah**: Oh, hey there.

**Maggie**: You're the girl I helped save today!

**Kelsie**: Yeah, thanks for that, by the way.

**Maggie**: No problem. How can I help you?

**Kelsie**: Well, a hug would be nice.

**Maggie**: Uh, why? No matter. I'll give you a hug.

*Maggie brings Kelsie in for a hug and the head brigand takes his chance to spring his surprise attack. He runs at Kelsie with his axe high over his head. With a war cry, he attempts to bring down his axe on both girls, but Sarah jumps in front and parries the blow. The two battle for a moment before Sarah manages to wrest the man's axe from his hand. She grabs it in her free hand and embeds it in his chest before letting him fall to the ground, the life slowly draining from his body.*

**Kelsie**: Holy shit...I'm sorry about that. Now you've had to save me twice today.

**Maggie**: It's alright! Saving people's what we do. Now, if you don't mind, can you tell me about the manakete you mentioned earlier?

**Kelsie**: Oh, right. She was kind of my mom.

**Maggie**: Oh, wow, really?! So you're a manakete?

**Kelsie**: No, I was adopted.

**Maggie**: Oh, I see. Why?

**Kelsie**: Because I have two moms.

**Sarah**: Makes sense.

**Kelsie**: And they're you.

**Sarah & Maggie**: WHAT?!

**Kelsie**: Heh, yeah. Sorry to spring that on you so suddenly.

**Maggie**: Oh. My. God. Sarah, I can't believe we had a baby! Well, we didn't *have*a baby so much as we took one.

**Sarah**: That makes it sound like we stole her.

**Kelsie**: You made it sound like that in the future, too. I'm...not entirely sure you didn't.

**Maggie**: Awe, yeah! We're gonna have so much fun!

**Kelsie**: I've really missed you guys.

==> PARALOGUE 6: TOURNAMENT OF KINGS

<== SUPPORTS

## Current Party

**The Shepherds**

* Knifez. Great Lord. Captain of the Shepherds and Prince of Waydrn. Treats his men firmly but fairly.
* Grace. War Cleric. An affectionate and cheeky Shepherd with a possessive streak.
* Joos. Grandmaster. A traveler with no memory of the past, but a gift for tactics.
* Sam. Grandmaster. The Shepherds' original, no-nonsense Tactician.
* Florence. Great Lord. A Shepherd and Knifez's sister. Always ready to lend an ass-kicking.
* Jimmy. Great Knight. A quiet Shepherd who knows exactly when to get to work.
* Pika. Sniper. A peppy Shepherd, always ready to follow her Tactician's command
* Dakota. Assassin. A formidable Waydrnite thief with a grim outlook on things.
* DJ. Swordmaster. A noble from Frar who knows his way around a sword.
* Chloe. Valkyrie. The downright kindest Noble Frar ever did see.
* Green. Wyvern Knight. A funloving Tostian dracoknight. Has a penchant for stabbing first and asking questions later.
* Bella. Falcon Knight. A Tostian “noble” whose love of her country is rivaled only by her love of her horse.
* Chase. Mercenary. A Sellsword with a love of tall tales and romance.
* Signele. Taguel. Last surviving inhabitant of The Domain. Also a giant bunny sometimes.
* Julius. Dancer. A gifted dancer with a flair for philandering and caffeine.
* Maggie. Manakete. An innocent Manakete with a penchant for theatrics.
* Kate. Knight. A knight who's probably just as confused as anyone.
* Sarah. Wyvern Rider. A gifted Wyvern Rider who prefers the term "realistic."
* Kayla. Mage. A hyperactive mage who can't wait to prove herself as more than just a kid.
* Aloasa. Dark Mage. A dour Tostian with a knack for curses and hovering.
* Anna. Trickster. A world-traveling merchant who loves money and big spenders.
* Rachel. War Cleric. Constantly picks fights, but is better at healing than punching.
* Heroi. Mercenary. Really good at what he does, but goes unnoticed until he's gone.
* Joanne. Cavalier. A quiet knight who waits for the perfect moment to speak up.
* Daniel. Hero. A Frarian warrior who hopes for the best but expects the worst.
* Taylor. Knight. A horse-loving girl who's incidentally really bad at riding horses.

**Future Children**

* Spencer. Myrmidon. An enigmatic man who thirsts for a better world.
* Danica. Trickster. A cunning, flirty girl who could rob even the greatest thieves blind.
* Bohl. Mage. An confusing youth with incredible intelligence and not so great speech patterns.
* Jayde. Taguel. A hyperactive Taguel obsessed with the goal of making the species thrive.
* Kelsie. Troubadour. A lazy, adopted child who was given everything before the world burned.

## Information

* This paralogue was originally posted to the Total Drama Writers' Forum here.
* This paralogue had a different name before being posted. Prior to the name it has now, it was called Take Me To Church. It was renamed when the authors completely forgot that this paralogue had a name and liked the new one they came up with better.

Paralogues: Paralogue 1: From Sickle to Sword - Paralogue 2: The Secret Seller - Paralogue 3: Taylor's Dilemma - Paralogue 4: Rides With Wyverns - Paralogue 5: Wings of Justice - Paralogue 6: Tournament of Kings - Paralogue 7: All Buns go to Heaven - Paralogue 8: The Lyin' King - **Paralogue 9: Doing God's Work...Kinda** - Paralogue 10: Nose in the Book, Head in the Clouds - Paralogue 11: Fast Fingers and Freedom - Paralogue 12: Witchcraft and Wizardry

DLC: The Conquest of The Domain [ Xenologue 1: Twenty-One Years Ago... - Xenologue 2: Fight of the Mapmakers - Xenologue 3: Capital City Onaw ] Days of Future Past [ Xenologue 4: The New Shepherds - Xenologue 5: A Glimmer of Hope - Xenologue 6: Beginning of the End ]

Non-Canon: A Very Forum Emblem Christmas! - Reawakened - Tales From the Barracks [ Second Seal Scramble ]