50% Luke/dialogue

* Are you alright?
	+ **Player:** Are you all right?
	+ **50% Luke:** Who goes there? Arr! A landlubber! Begone afore I take my cutlass to ye! I've been charged with guardin' this gate and no noodle-armed landlubbers will make it past me alive!
	+ **Player:** That's not a cutlass. I think it's a twig.
	+ **50% Luke:** Ye cheeky begger! I was wavin' my finger at ye!
	+ **Player:** All right...
	+ **50% Luke:** Arrr... just 'cos me body happens to be 50% wood does not mean I'm heartless.
	+ **50% Luke:** I got a bag of 'em here. Wanna see?
	+ **Player:** I think I'll pass.

* What happened to you?
	+ **Player:** What happened to you?
	+ **50% Luke:** That be a tale so heart-wrenchin' that it has so far wrenched the hearts from over a dozen sturdier men than thee! A tale of such woe that none but the stoniest hearts can hear it without sheddin' a single, poignant tear... And I'll never tell ye, not even if ye wore an item, such as a ring, with powers of mind control!
	+ **Player:** What if I said please?
	+ **50% Luke:** Hmmmm...well alright... Wait, no! Get goin' landlubber before I take my splintery foot to yet behind!
* What happened to you? - *If the player is wearing Ring of Charos (a)*
	+ **Player:** What happened to you?
	+ **50% Luke:** Well ye seem like a lad/lass that can handle such a tale...so I'll tell ye...
	+ **50% Luke:** Well, it all starts with this albatross...
	+ **50% Luke:** Wait, never mind, I'll skip forward a bit.
	+ **Player:** Are you sure?
	+ **50% Luke:** I have to lad/lass, Cap'n Donnie will flay what little is left of me if I told ye.
	+ **50% Luke:** But anyway, I got recruited to the zombie pirates along with the rest of the crew in an unspecified incident involvin this albatross.
	+ **50% Luke:** We was sailin' along happily, and I was partakin' of a little 'rum' in the crows nest.
	+ **50% Luke:** Well, we hit either a really rough wave or some rocks.
	+ **50% Luke:** Twas kind of hard for me to tell which, as I was well out of it by then!
	+ **50% Luke:** Regardless, I toppled from the crows nest into the water.
	+ **Player:** Is that how you got so badly injured?
	+ **50% Luke:** No lad/lass!
	+ **50% Luke:** What happened next was that I discovered a new, previously uncharted reef of hard, spiky coral.
	+ **50% Luke:** I made a mental note of its location, and to this day it is still marked on our fleet's charts as Lukes Reef.
	+ **50% Luke:** I managed to grab a hold of our ship, the Inebriated, as it passed overhead.
	+ **50% Luke:** And then I discovered another, taller, spikier reef of even sharper and more painful coral.
	+ **50% Luke:** To this day it is still marked on our fleet's charts as The Other 50% Reef.
	+ **Player:** Owwwwwwwww...
	+ **50% Luke:** It gets worse...
	+ **50% Luke:** When they hauled what was left of me on deck, they dropped me onto the floor while they decided what to do with me.
	+ **50% Luke:** Bear in mind this would be on a ghost ship, the planks of which sweat a thick mixture of stagnant water...and pure salt crystals.
	+ **Player:** Oh...my...god...
	+ **50% Luke:** But on the good side, all my thrashin' and pained squealin' settled the matter in the Captain's mind, and he had the shipwright carve me half a body out of his Witchwood Planks.
	+ **Player:** Witchwood? What's that?
	+ **50% Luke:** Tis a special, magical wood from a now extinct tree.
	+ **50% Luke:** Once they nailed it all in place the stuff moves like it is part of me body.
	+ **50% Luke:** The stuff will also grow back if it breaks, which is dead handy!
	+ **Player:** Wow, that stuff must be very valuable!
	+ **50% Luke:** Arr! That it be!
	+ **50% Luke:** So, that be the tale of how I managed to lose precisely 50% of my body.
	+ **Player:** There there.

* How flammable are you?
	+ **Player:** So how flammable are you?
	+ **50% Luke:** What kind of question is that?
	+ **Player:** I'll soon have you out of the way! Burn!—— The player begins to light a fire ——
	+ **50% Luke:** Don't make me angry! Ye'll not like me when I'm angry!—— One 500 hit combo later ——
	+ **50% Luke:** Let that be a lesson to ye!
	+ **Player:** My world is an ocean of paaaain!

* So what is going on here anyway?
	+ **Player:** So what is going on here anyway?
	+ **50% Luke:** Ye expect me to talk?
	+ **Player:** No Mr. Luke, I expect you to die!
	+ **50% Luke:** Hah! I'm one step ahead of ye!
	+ **Player:** Egad, outsmarted by the man with the wooden brain. But seriously, what is going on here?
	+ **50% Luke:** I can't tell ye lad/lass. The Cap'n would have me whittled down to toothpicks if I did.
	+ **Player:** Well if you can't tell me, perhaps you could show me through the medium of Interpretive Dance?
	+ **50% Luke:** No. Just...no.
	+ **Player:** Mime?
	+ **50% Luke:** Look, lad/lass I'm not tellin' ye a thing! So clear out while ye still can!

* *When trying to open the gate*
	+ **50% Luke:** Arr! Tryin' ter get away eh? Well ye'll never sneak past me, I'm the best lookout this crew has ever seen!
* *The player will say one of six possible phrases to distract 50% Luke.*
	+ **Player:** Hey you! Look over there!
	+ **Player:** Who's that making faces behind you?
	+ **Player:** Oh my! Is that a genuine 3rd Age Diversion?
	+ **Player:** Is that your distraction?
	+ **Player:** Who is that behind you?
	+ **Player:** That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen!

* *When coming back through the gate*
	+ **50% Luke:** Hey! What are you doing out there?
	+ **Player:** Nothing.
	+ **50% Luke:** Well Cap'n Donnie said no livin' landlubbers were allowed out of the compound. So get yerself back in here, or yer for it!