LTVS: Ned Dead Redemption

*Do not read beyond **this point** if you want to avoid being **spoiled!***

***Layla the Vampire Slayer* episode**

RandomTuesday

Bentham

*"I wasn't going to say anything, but Imogen would know* [about being an arse]*."* - Ned Phillips

**Ned Dead Redemption** is the thirty-first episode of Layla the Vampire Slayer and the ninth episode of Season 2.

## Synopsis

Sofia and Jiana Sanguina leave after the defeat of the Arachne demons, leaving Layla Smith, Robert Davidson and Albert Khan in the catacombs below the old monastery on the edge of Little Rosewater. Layla and Rob scavenge around for information, surrounded by meat and ichor. Layla and Robert free Albert. The possibly-stoned and delirious dirty blond drummer calls Layla "pretty". As they discuss Albert's mental state, they hear noises from outside and recognise the voices as being those of Barnaby and Imogen, returned from the Greater Rosewater train station. Robert goes to meet them while Layla struggles to physically free Albert from his web-like bonds.

Imogen Parker and Barnaby Crimp are a bit startled at what Robert tells them. Mid-conversation, he checks himself for injuries and notices a region of puckered skin that has been stapled shut on the back of his head. Barnaby figures it was a recent incision that was stapled shut; Imogen thinks that they have removed a bit of skull and inserted something there instead. Imogen notices another incision as well, which looks like that a healing poultice has been applied. However, nobody knows what they actually did that to him. Layla grabs a bonesaw to cut Albert and endures his flirting before he starts to flirt with Barnaby. They examine Albert and notice that he has a similar set of scars to Robert, albeit much larger and more prominent. Layla and Robert attempt to explain why they're here, and recall that Albert has synesthesia.

The conversation is sidetracked to a discussion on whether Barnaby's demon transformation was "experimentation". Layla passes some notes to Imogen, which include notes on characteristics to look out for in desired targets, as well as spells in Ancient Greek, Latin, Sanskrit and an unidentified language. Barnaby expresses interest in the notes, though he can't read them, which piques Imogen's curiosity about his apparent studiousness. Everyone is concerned at this about-change in character though are convinced that he is not Bak'tarbe. Imogen asks Robert whether he is now capable of strange/different stuff. Robert doesn't think so, but he recalls that despite being disorientated, he could scrounge together scrap to create the decoy hologram in a moment without a workshop. Imogen demands he make something for him now, giving him some notes and scrap. The notes are in archaic English (with script s) and indicate they were trying to increase his "brain power"/make him smarter.

Layla questions whether the demons took stuff away to make him smarter. Robert promises to look into it, though is wary of getting a scan as that might cause suspicion amongst doctors. Robert finds another document indicating removal of the entire top of the skull to expose the brain. Barnaby recognises the head as being either Ned or Brian Phillips, and is concerned as to whether the demons were going after the vampires or after humans. Imogen and Layla think it might be Ned, as Mrs. Phillips may have died pursuing the vampires, leaving Ned an orphan. They realise that Barnaby wasn't there, and give him a quick recap. Barnaby is concerned and encourages the others to leave. Barnaby and Rob finds Robert's clothes, unclean tools and some corpses which appear to have been dead for a while. Barnaby takes photos of the tools and corpses. Layla hears faint, shallow breathing from up ahead and sees a warped door that doesn't really fit the door frame. From the gaps she sees one of the Phillips siblings suspended from the wall with an ugly scar around the top of his head and sunken eyes. As Layla shatters the door open the man wakes up, terrified. Layla calls out "Ned?" and he recognises her as being Layla. She tries to reassure him as he babbles about spiders and people; once she's cut him down, he clings to her. Robert comes in and sees faint magical residue around the incisions around his skull; Ned looks a bit like Frankenstein's monster.

Layla asks whether Ned recalls anything. Ned says that Brian was acting weird, as was his mother, and they came home, before trailing off. Ned ran to the police, and child services took him and they turned into spiders. He is concerned about how calm they are, and they tell him that they also took Robert ("the nerd/") and Albert ("hey man, it's the jock!"). Imogen tries to get a closer look at the cuts but Ned backs away, saying that Imogen once threw a knife at him. Barnaby and Layla attempt to coax him into letting them help, but Imogen says that since he got over the knife-throwing then he ought to get over the giant spiders. They just about manage to convince Ned, who is concerned that Imogen is a spider as well. Imogen notices that a similar poultice was applied but can't get any better insight into it. Robert notes that generally the surgery works, just that it tends to be highly traumatic. After a while Imogen reads through the notes, but the terms are a bit foreign to her and just figures out that they replaced the top of his skull (?). They are at a loss of what to do with their new "friends"; Imogen is concerned that Ned will be sent back to his now-vampire family; Robert remarks that the police are inept. Robert suggests they tell Ned everything since he's seen so much, but everyone else is against it. Robert counters that Ned might die, and Ned is eager to stay alive and is terrified. He asks whether they are like "lizard people", and asks whether they are real too, and the others are at a loss. After trying and succeeding (somewhat) to calm him down, they flatly tell him that his family are vampires and that they can't turn them back. They ask whether he recalls being a troll, and assure him that it's real. The others realise that Mrs. Phillips is now a vampire-witch, and discuss how to deal with her. Ned is still traumatised and doesn't want to kill his family; they tell him that his family is already dead and explain how vampirism works. They manage to convince him that they're vampires, but he's adamant that they can be saved.

Barnaby decides he wants to knock ned out; the others are shocked and Layla gets in the way instead. Barnaby is agitated about explaining stuff to Ned while still in the monastery and they bicker while Ned hides behind Robert. They discuss whether they should let the police know and/or burn the place down. They decide to just leave and do a last sweep, with Ned leaning on Layla and Robert. They find a diagram of the brain on the wall and a dissection room with half a brain there. Layla hears the clicking of the remaining spider demon and tells the others to back up. She closes the door and attacks the spider on the ceiling. Layla gets a stake out and hurls it at the demon. It dies instantly and rops to the ground. Layla dissects it with the saw and tells everyone that it's been dealt with. Rob makes sure he has samples for everything and all the notes and Imogen directs Layla and Barnaby to smash spirit containers to spill alcohol all over the place. Imogen re-states to Ned that she's a witch and throws a fireball at the place, torching it. The place promptly explodes and collapses. Imogen doesn't look back as it explodes and the 6 of them cram into Barnaby's car. Albert gets shoved in the boot. Ned asks what they're going to do with him and asks whether he can stay with Rob. Imogen says "yes" for them and smacks Barnaby, staying that he hasn't got a family anymore.

Robert recalls that Albert is the eldest of three children (all apparently living), and lives in town. They remark that it'll be a bit difficult since they've had a memorial service for him. Albert eventually muscles his way out of the boot into the seating area and complains about being cold; they say sorry and give him a blanket. The girls remark that Barnaby's being a bit of an arse. Ned agrees, saying that Imogen would know (about being an arse). Barnaby says that "we've" done horrible stuff and that he's just being "practical". He refuses to answer further questions and says that they haven't got enough time. Imogen asks whether it's about Horus Grant, whom Barnaby "killed" earlier in the year. Ned butts in to ask about Horus only for Imogen to stonewall him out of it. The car drive continues in awkward silence. They don't know what to do with Albert and they eventually decide to take him home after Albert says that he needs to make his siblings their lunch; Rob recalls that Albert's mother had a disability of sorts and was in a wheelchair and that he needed to care for his siblings. Imogen is concerned at whether he's in a state to care for his family; Barnaby is agitated and wants it over with. After Albert continues to worry (incoherently) about his siblings, Barnaby finally gives in and drops Albert off at the hospital after failing to try and convince him (through less well-meaning ways) to stop him from talking (including a suggestion by Rob to shove him in the Psych ward). They take Ned back to the dorms. Barnaby broaches the idea of Rob making a brain scanner; Imogen and Barnaby work on the notes but fail. Imogen stays up while Barnaby wants to go to bed; she gets him to stay behind and asks why he's being an arse.

Barnaby says he's having a bad time with the killing people and the Bak'tarbe. Barnaby says that he nearly killed someone today, and Imogen realises that it was him nearly punching Ned while Ned recently had brain surgery. Imogen asks whether he's worried he's a bad person, and reassures him that as a "terrible person" that Barnaby isn't. She says that he's done so much for so many people and that Bak'tarbe, as a kidnapper, isn't much better than he is. Bak'tarbe didn't take in James, and didn't feel bad about things. She thinks that Barnaby's regret at killing Horus makes him human. Barnaby asks whether it's bad that he feels guilt that the last time someone they helped stayed in his room, they died. Imogen reassures him that it wasn't his fault, but also says that they really can't protect anyone. Imogen says that they can barely protect themselves, but being here was their own personal choice. She says that being a bystander is an even worse option than trying and making mistakes. Barnaby asks whether killing Horus was a mistake; Imogen says that it was magic that killed him, and magic is its own mistake. Barnaby tells Imogen to be careful about magic. Imogen says that she's aware, but as she's not the strongest and not the smartest, she will try to do the most she can. She states that Horus died from the consequences of magic as a willing user. Imogen tells Barnaby to be less hard on himself; Barnaby says that he should get some sleep and Imogen says that she's stubborn but that she probably should get some sleep too. Barnaby is more encouraged, while Imogen gains more acceptance of the path she's taken.

Elsewhere, Layla researches reports of other kids observed doing strange things. She finds out about a chess prodigy, who went missing two weeks ago, and an eight-year old ballet prodigy went missing a month ago. Both matched the descriptions of the corpses they found. She then goes off to try and convince Imogen to come [to bed]. They discuss Barnaby, and Imogen says she thinks that Barnaby is James all over again (though she considers Ned a horrible person). They talk about problems; Layla thinks about how the dreams of the kids they found dead will never come to fruition. Imogen makes a bad gallows humour joke about short dreams and probability of achieving them before you kick the bucket. Layla remises on the life expectancy of Slayers, and they discuss Layla doing her job alone and the number of Slayers available. Layla broaches the option of giving Charity/Katherine her soul back. Imogen talks about how she re-souled Mr. Miller for vengeance, not as an act of mercy. Layla says that everyone wants vengeance; Imogen says that not everyone has the power to do so. In return Layla attempts to stress the importance of not abusing their powers. Imogen acknowledges the danger in using magic and asks Layla to slay her in the event she goes off the deep end. Layla asks Imogen to promise to talk to her before that happens.

Rob and Ned are in the Davidson brothers' room. Ned asks Robert what can be done about his family. Rob is unsure and deflects to try and measure Ned's head to figure a way to help him, saying that he hopes that the spiders didn't do anything particularly negative to Ned, and that he seems relatively similar to how he was in the past. Rob again tries to convince Ned that his family is dead, but Ned grabs his hands and tells Rob not to harm them. Ned again asks if there's a way to turn his family back; Rob tells him to ask Imogen. Ned criticises Rob and the others for failing to do enough to "minimise casualties"; Rob accepts that they had failed to a degree. After Robert gives Ned a bag of crisps (which he wolfs down), Ned mentions that he was there for about 2 days. He mentions that they talked about stuff, but he couldn't understand them. Furthermore, they mistook him for his brother and asked about his relationship with his brother. Robert surmises that being twins might have been interesting or important to the demons, while Ned complains about how people often mix the two of them up and give them nicknames like "Bed" or "Nian". Robert tells Ned to rest while he figures out a way to help the two of them. Ned pleads with Rob to at least talk to his mother and brother if he sees them. Rob says he'll try and run away if he runs into them; Ned demands he promise to do so. Rob says he'll run if he can. Ned threatens Rob if he kills Brian or Mrs. Phillips. As he says this, Rob notices an odd orange spark around Ned's pupils. Ned says that though Rob is a nerd, he's been very helpful and says he won't kill Rob if he hurts Ned's family, and thanks him. Rob leaves to get to work and gives Ned full reign of the snacks and drinks in the room and tells him not to touch his head. Rob says he'll try to help Ned's family as best he can.

Imogen has nightmares of taking vengeance on people, even those who have wronged her very slightly. The figure turns into Layla and she wakes up. Imogen stays up and tries to do more studying. The next day, Rob doesn't show up to class and Barnaby goes off to the workshop to find Rob. There's a thick smell of old oil and dust; the place seems neglected. Rob is asleep on a desk in the corner. However, as Barnaby nears he notices Rob's mouth moving quickly, as if he is quickly babbling words. Barnaby notices that Rob isn't speaking English. Whenever Rob vocalises something recognisable, a glottal stop sounds instead. Barnaby tries to slowly wake his brother and wakes up confusedly, and is worried that he is late for school. Rob insists on going to class; Barnaby asks if he normally sleeps in here, and Rob says that he hasn't been in the workshop for a while. Rob has missed the first lesson, though he fortunately doesn't have one at the time. Rob feels fine but Barnaby and Rob are concerned whether anything happened to him. After a discussion about Albert's synesthesia, they go and grab breakfast for Rob.

After school, Imogen tries again to figure out the texts. They are about exaggerating certain aspects of the personalities of exceptional people; telekinesis is often a side-effect under stress. Criteria involve genetic, upbringing and proximity to Hellmouths. There are also spells for weakening items, ionising air and others in a different language. One is an anti-illusion spell ("Pull back the Curtain") and another in a different language. Rob works on his brain scanner. Barnaby decides to pay for a butler called Thomas Dalton to work for Albert Khan's family for a year. Barnaby decides that the butler will not be suitable and sends him on his way. After he complains to Imogen (who explodes at his plan), he goes and finds a carer/social worker at a service station. The less well-affluent worker insists on around £800 per month, cash in hand and Barnaby refuses. Barnaby asks for certification/ID. Eventually they agree on something and the carer sods off. Barnaby tries to talk to Albert but Albert's in the Psych ward. Barnaby tries to leave a message. Elsewhere, Layla goes and speaks to Rob during Computing class and asks whether he needs help with his project and discuss Ned. Layla asks if Rob had enough sleep. Their conversation is cut short when the teacher tells them to be quiet. After class they go to the workshop and Layla does odds and sorts to help Rob out.

The next day passes and Ned has settled in; they're smuggling Ned food, and he's attending classes with stuff covering his scars with the excuse that he bumped his head. During PE Ned approaches Layla in a wild-eyed state. Layla pulls him to the side and Ned babbles about how she has a "book club" scheduled for that night and is worried that she'll turn her book club into vampires. Ned says that it's held on the top floor of the Phillips Gardening Consortium. Layla agrees to check on it; Ned asks her to try and save them. Layla decides to give a book on vampires after PE. Ned says thanks and apologises for calling her a bitch and generally being an arse. Layla says it's fine and asks what was with Ned's threatening of Rob. Ned says that he was just angry at Rob; Layla just tells him to read the book. She notices that Ned has gained some weight, has been stress-eating and is in a poor state in general, as well as the slight glint in his eyes (his irises used to be brown; now they're more orange). Layla tells him that though she and her friends have never really seen eye-to-eye with Ned, that they're here for him. He says thanks and say's she's okay before saying that he wants to bunk off PE. Layla advises him to keep running to keep his mind off it. Before they part, Ned tells Layla that the book club meetings tend to be at 7:00 pm on Wednesdays.

Layla gets the gang together, talking to Rob first and helping him a bit. She asks Rob whether he noticed anything off about Ned, and they discuss the glint in his eyes. Layla suggests he might be a werewolf, but that doesn't match Leticia's MO. Rob suggests that his eyes might have increased in ability, and the two can't make a connection about what triggered the glint. Rob agrees to go with her and goes to find Barnaby. Layla asks whether Rob's alright in general what with the kidnapping. Rob says he feels a bit better at stuff, but Layla asks whether he himself is alright. Suddenly Layla's tongue feels tight and her tongue feels like it just shrinks. It feels like there's something in her mouth and as she opens her mouth something fleshy and pink flops out and moves around. That is apparently her tongue and she grabs it. They run to Imogen and they're all bewildered. Imogen realises that it's a dark spell, usually by people who feel that they've been badmouthed called "Cat got your tongue?" It is cast by LOS or via an image, severing a tongue from a mouth and gives it a life of its own. Imogen shoves Layla's tongue in a jar. They give Layla a chalkboard and see Violet. Imogen hears the sound of clothes being removed rapidly and Violet opens the door with a towel around her. Imogen asks for help about the spell and Violet says it'll last hours or days, and can potentially last forever. Imogen asks to found out how to find out who did this, usually a witch, and offers to trace the spell. Violet teaches Layla and Rob to do the spell, and is more "hands-on" with Rob. Rob asks about the spell's range, and since it could theoretically be anywhere on the planet, Rob and Imogen have an inkling as to who may have cast the spell - Charity. The tongue levitates and sticks to the side of the jar. Violet indicates that the tongue will be pulled towards the spell's source, which appears to be towards the town. Layla puts a cloth over the jar, Violet gets dressed and they tell Barnaby about what's going on. Barnaby is enthusiastic, and Imogen teases him for apparently studying. After a while Barnaby decides to invite Ned and he grabs his rugby kit (scrum cap and mouthguard). Imogen warns him about the danger and Layla writes down that she thinks it's a bad idea. Imogen pulls Rob aside and asks him for vampire blood, which he doesn't have.

They bundle in the car and head to town. They end up at the Phillips Gardening Consortium. Rob bodges an attempt to convince Ned, but Imogen flat out tells Ned again that his mother's dead. Ned finally accepts it but wants to be the one to put her down; Imogen says that only Layla really can. Ned decides to help anyway and asks for equipment. They give him a cross, stakes etc and as Imogen talks him through it she has an idea and asks how good Layla is at throwing rocks through windows. Imogen finds a rock and suggests she cast sunlight on it and hurl it into the room. The others would prefer the element of surprise. Having heard about the use of fire, Ned asks whether fireworks will work and nips off with a bottle of beer. He returns with a Molotov cocktail. Layla writes down that the "book club" is closed on a chalkboard and stick it to the door. Violet says that the book club is a coven and they're probably all vampires by now. Violet complains that they're a "pretend social coven" that are also interested in Jane Austen and the like and she isn't part of it. Barnaby tries the door, but it's locked. Layla goes to work on the door while Violet brings out a windlass crossbow of her own. Bob suits up and they try and sneak in, with Layla first to scout. Layla hears clinking china above them then a woman's conversational voice, followed by that woman realising that there's someone here. It is then dead silent and Layla writes down that they know we're here. Imogen's plan wih the rock is thwarted by the presence of shutters. Violet mentions that there are three witches. Barnaby suggests that since they know that they're here, they might as well rush them. They run up the stairs and Layla cannonballs through the door. Before them there are three ladies in dark cloaks and underneath them floral dresses. All of them have long fangs, two with day-old puncture wounds. In the back is a fourth person on a chair, looking sullen - Brian.

Layla laughs at the sight, but something flashes in all three of their eyes. The middle witch, holding a silver chain, gestures at her and spectral energies binds Layla's legs and hands. Barnaby goes to stake the middle one - Mrs Phillips - and she takes the hit, saying that she never liked him and he was a bad influence on "her boy". The others mock her turning her children into trolls. Layla just about fails to bust out of her bounds and she is burnt by the bonds. Brian tells Barnaby not to hurt his mum and fails to dropkick Barnaby. Violet aims her crossbow at Mrs. Phillips and fires after Imogen overrules Ned's request to not shoot his mum. The quarrel drives into her heart and dusts her to Ned's dismay. One of the coven turns Violet's crossbow into a plague of locusts. The other pulls out a vial of brown-grey powder and hurls it at Violet. Things begin to shake; anything metal flies towards Violet, including Rob, whose aimed shot goes wild.

Ned kicks his brother, who is down on the ground having failed to drop-kick Layla. Imogen casts the sunlight spell and hurls it into the room. One of the coven members attempts to reduce the effect of the spell but it still casts. A blinding light engulfs the room; the vampires' skin starts to grey and dissolve; Rob complains about not being to do anything. Barnaby manages to grapple one of the coven members. With Mrs. Phillips' death, the spell binding Layla ends and her tongue stops moving. Imogen unscrews the cap and the tongue floats towards Layla. After a bit, she gets her voice back. Layla jumpkicks to the groin the grappled witch but misses and lands hard on her side. Brian gets up and tries to slamtackle Barnaby, who dodges while grappling a witch. Rob aims at the witch Barnaby is grappling. Violet is stuck to Rob and tries to shift so that Rob is a body shield. A coven member looks at Barnaby and he feels cold and frost flows up his hands. The other throws the rock out of the room down the staircase. Ned kicks the shit out of his brother, breaking his brother's shin. Imogen telekinetically throws the rock back in the room and throws the free coven member at the wall. Rob shoots at the vampire held by Barnaby and wounds her. Barnaby goes to headbutt her but misses due to the light. Layla flails to stake her to the heart and dusts her.

Brian isn't happy and makes a run for it, going to slamtackle Imogen who is in the doorway, pushing past her and moving down the stairs. The remaining witch tries to telekinesis Imogen out the window but lacks the strength. Ned tries to jumpkick his brother down the stairs and falls down the stairs. Everyone cringes. Imogen tries to TK the rock into the vampire's face; the contact causes half her body to turn to dust. Imogen shoves it harder into the witch's face and the witch turns to dust. Rob hears strange energetic wooshing sounds from below, and a guy in a slavic accent speaking in an unknown dialect. Brian asks who the bloke is, and as Rob runs to see what is happening, he sees a burst of green fire at Brian, who is turned to ash. Robert asks who he is. The bloke says that he knows Imogen and Rob yells for her. Layla and Imogen recognise it is Ra and go to speak to him. Ra is in a grey overcoat with flashy clothes and procedes to steal all of Mrs. Phillips' stuff, to Imogen's vocal disapproval. Ra claims that he is guarding them and taking stuff that she owed to him. Robert asks why he didn't come earlier; Ra said he planned to pop in during book club. When questioned about the bright light upstairs, Imogen claims that Mrs. Phillips got new full-spectrum bulbs before complaining about him taking all the books. Ra says he hasn't heard of the spell before; Imogen says it was very easy. He asks her about her "magic grade", which she cannot answer really. He asks for her hand; she asks for one of the books in return. Ra says that he may have a better opportunity for her. Rob questions the validity of trusting Ra, but she gives him her hand anyway. She feels a pricking then a warmth through her. A shimmering gold light covers her as Ra tests her; Ra assures the other that no harm (other than 0.4% increased chance of skin cancers) will happen to her. Ra asks whether she was self-taught; she says so. Ra offers to take her to people to train her in a more professional manner, especially concerning her "unique" perspective.

Ra takes the stone and drains the glow into his hand and shifts it from hand to hand. Imogen asks whether he stole the spell; he says he did for its duration. Robert remarks that Ra "repossessed" the spell and says that Rob's clever. Imogen is unsure of whether she should come with him, as she has homework to do. Ra does a few gestures and assures her that's taken care of. Imogen really wants the opportunity despite everybody else's concern, especially concerning Rob's recent circumstances. Layla barges between Imogen and Ra and tries to intimidate him and warns him not to hurt Imogen. Ra is unfazed about the death threat. Imogen feels that the education is important to stop her from making so many mistakes. Ra gives Imogen and Layla paper and pens to communicate with each other. She kisses Layla, hugs Barnaby, Robert and Violet, nods to Ned. Violet asks if she can come as she's an enchanter, and Imogen shakes her head slightly. Ra asks what Violet can do; she writes some stuff down then kisses Rob, who turns into a rabbit in an armoured suit. Imogen and Violet disappear; after some coaxing, Ra turns Rob back into a human again, with Rob in Barnaby's hands. Layla mentions that Violet's a former vengeance demon, and Rob tells Ra not to turn her back. Ra mentions he knows his dad (having known Mr. and Mrs. Davidson from a young age) and they inform him that she's dead. He offers them his condolences and leaves. Ra says that if Imogen steals things, she won't live for very long. He thanks them for "sorting out" his issue and says they can have "the night on me". He gestures, and particles of dust move, and the three end up in a hotel suite. Layla questions where they are; Barnaby sits in the comfiest-looking chair and sits ontop of Ned. Robert remarks he hates magic and a bloke enters asking whether they would like something. Barnaby asks for room service.

## Notes

Imogen's tuition under Ra's associates is an in-universe reason for RandomTuesday's departure from the Layla cast for 3 weeks while abroad in the UK.