Pain Train WOO WOO

### Alternative Team Names

Pain Train WOO WOO (2011), ABC Easy as RGIII (2012), DiscountDoubleCheck (2012), Cooper Clux Clan (2013), Money Manziel (2014), Fire Goodell (2015), Peeled Eggplant (2016), Pain Train WOO WOO (2017-Present)

## Performance

### LOC Records

SEASONLongest Win streak - 9 Games

Most Kicking Points - 194.09 (14.93 Avg.)

GAMEMost Defensive Points - 77

Most Passing Yard - 4508.53 (346.81 Avg.)

Lowest Point Total by a Winning Team - 137.11

## Overview

Founded in 2011, Pain Train WOO WOO is a storied franchise with years of success under their belt. Not known for their drafting skills, Pain Train WOO WOO has always excelled at post-draft acquisitions and season-long matchup to matchup management. Though never a LOC Champion, PT has only missed the Championship Bracket once and followed up their worst season with a trip to the Championship Game the following year.

## The Pain Train Rolls (2011 Season)

Pain Train WOO WOO started the 2011 campaign by making more moves through the first two weeks than any other team in the league (6). They swapped kickers, dropped RB's Mathews and Ridley and added WRs Mike Williams and Eric Weems. Steve Breaston was later dropped for Randall Cobb and Brandon Tate was dropped for RB Carnell Williams, who would be later dropped for Earnest Graham (who would subsequently be dropped for DeMarco Murray). In all, the 27 moves made by Pain Train WOO WOO were second only to second place Reign Maker in 2011.

As is common with the Pain Train WOO WOO franchise, the team had a slow start following a mediocre draft. In what would become commonplace, they turned it around and made a run. They spent the better part of the first month waiting for Chris Johnson, a staple of the Pain Train WOO WOO team in the early years, to get going. CJ2K's big year was a distant memory, but he mustered enough in the latter months to help boost PT to the playoffs.

Pain Train WOO WOO broke off a big win streak, the biggest the league has ever seen. Againt Papa's Posse they got their first win. Little did anyone know at the time that the Posse would come back to bite them at the end of the year.

By the end of the win streak they had beaten every team except the 1 and 2 seeds, Reign Maker and #FreeOJ. On the last week of the season they had a chance to snatch a first round bye from Reign Maker by beating #FreeOJ but they couldn't seal the deal. Their win streak was stopped at nine and they had no choice but to face a hot team in the quarterfinals.

That hot team happened to be Papa's Posse, the squad that got it all started for Pain Train WOO WOO back in early October. Chris Johnson, who had turned it on for 190 and 153 yards in weeks 12 and 13 respectively, let the team down with 11 carries for a measely 23 yards.

The tremendous regular season win streak was all for naught. They were eliminated in the opening round of the playoffs. Still, the tone had been set for future years. Pain Train WOO WOO was not so quick to quit after a rough draft and was willing to take risks on free agents in order to find winning combinations as the season wore on. They understood, perhaps better than any other franchise, that it only takes one or two sleepers to turn a season around. And that sleeper is always lurking out there, waiting to be picked up.

## 2012 Season

The 2011 quarterfinal loss did more than eliminate Pain Train WOO WOO from the playoffs. It set the franchise back big time.

Once again PT took big risks with their draft and this time a few risks paid off. RGIII went off in the first game of his rookie season, putting up 19 completions for 320 yards and 2 TDs on PT's bench. Randy Moss also started off the season hot. PT has an affinity for veteran wide receivers, as apparent with Moss in 2012, and more recently Reggie Wayne taken late in the 2015 draft.

Pain Train WOO WOO had the tough decision between RG3 and Aaron Rodgers heading into the second week of the season. Despite how RG3's career ended up, many forget just how good he was in his rookie season. Pain Train WOO WOO did what most managers would have done and went with Rodgers. Griffin had the better day and PT lost their first game of the year against butt fuckers, one of three teams in their rookie season.

In week 3 Pain Train WOO WOO finally went with RG3 and was rewarded with their second win, this time against struggling Paddock 9.

The season turned in week 4 against #FreeOJ. A back and forth game all weekend, #FreeOJ just barely held the lead on Monday Night Football. Before stat corrections were issued, #FreeOJ had the edge by a 0.20 margin 212.43-212.23. Pain Train WOO WOO was docked points Tuesday afternoon and the official final became 212.43-209.85. Either way, the loss set in motion a four-game losing streak that took Pain Train WOO WOO from first to worst. PT lost to The Shotti Bunch, ma ma momma said, and Reign Maker in three straight weeks, the top three ranked teams in the League of Champions. Despite beating their projection every week, PT faced the toughest LOC schedule and couldn't climb out of the basement.

Desperate for anything that could change their luck, PT changed their 2012 team name from ABC Easy as RGIII to DiscountDoubleCheck. The "Tough Luck Kid," as they came to be called, lost three of their last five games. Any big game their players had were matched by a bigger performance on the other side. Against Why am I doing this, Doug Martin had a career game and helped lift WAIDT to a victory. In week 10 their starting QB, Alex Smith (with both RG3 and Rodgers on the bye), left his game early with a concussion.  The only team above .500 that they would beat all season would be GaroppoblowMe in week one.

On November 19th management decided to cut their losses. They set two trades in motion that sent their star players to fellow bottom-dwellers Paddock 9 and butt fuckers in exchange for high draft picks in the 2013 draft. Among the guys let go by the team, starting QB RG3, top WR Andre Johnson, starting defense San Francisco, and starting RB Jennings, among others. As for picks, PT got a 4 and an 10 from Paddock 9 in exchange for a 5 and 11. From butt fuckers, a 2 for a 14. Because butt fuckers would fold at the end of the season, Pain Train WOO WOO would never see these picks.

Pain Train had a promising team in 2012 but none of the luck needed to make a run. Better days were coming but the Championship dream was dead for this season.

## 2013 Draft

PT's 2013 draft featured the emergence of the "Johnson Trio," with Calvin Chris and Andre all being picked within the first four rounds by Pain Train. They also picked Peyton during his historic season, making it the most potent first four picks ever made in the LOC.

## Burning to the Ground (2015 Season)

Pain Train WOO WOO had serious trouble in 2015. They had taken chances with Funchess and Abdullah, but those were the safer risks. Reggie Wayne decided to retire before the season began and they inexplicably dropped Philly Defense in favor of Atlanta. His first pick, Le'Veon Bell, missed the first two weeks and PT lost both matchups.

Desperate to find a winning combination, PT had 19 roster moves in the first six weeks. DeSean Jackson and Sammy Watkins' early injuries left a gaping hole in an already weak WR core.

There was a brief glimmer of hope in week three when Bell returned and put up 31.57 points. He would better his performance by 10 the following week. PT was able to steal a game from Reign Maker, who was also struggling, by putting up only 137.11. That was good enough for the lowest score by a winning team in LOC history. The followed that up with a 193.97 performance the following week, good enough to take out the only remaining undefeated team in the league, GBM. In back to back weeks they had taken out last year's best team and this year's best team. But that was as high and mighty as PT would get.

Pain Train WOO WOO has made a career of capitalizing on boom or bust players. This season, the players on which they gambled busted. After Reggie Wayne came Victor Cruz, ailing from injury, Falcons defense, and Alfred Blue.  In week five, riding the league's longest active win streak, they entered a match with #FreeOJ and a chance to be in playoff contention. FOJ had just picked up free agent Antonio Gates and in an effort to combat the TE upgrade PT grabbed Julius Thomas. Both players were coming back from suspension and whichever player faired best would determine the outcome of the game. Alas, for PT, it was Gates that won the day. The dropped week 5 to FOJ 210.88-200.41.

They were severely outmatched in week six against The Shotti Bunch, who was beginning to hit mid-season form. Seemingly their last chance at a good season came in week seven against the one-win Paddock 9, the only team sitting below them in the standings. They couldn't even muster a win there. In back to back weeks they put up some of the lowest scores the league had ever seen.

As if things couldn't get any worse, they lost Le'Veon Bell in week 8 against ma ma momma said. Then the following week they lost breakout star Dion Lewis. Both tore their ACL's, leaving many to believe this team was for some reason cursed. Despite all that, they still had a chance to beat Papa's Posse in week nine and continue to be in the playoff race but they came just short when Jay Cutler threw a pick-six on Monday Night Football. Sammy Watkins scored 46.80 points on the bench and Pain Train WOO WOO lost by 9.26 points.

They hit rock bottom in week 10 when they were on the wrong end of the week's biggest blowout for a league high 14 times. Shockingly, that would be the last time they lost for the rest of the season.

Assuming the role of the spoiler, Pain Train WOO WOO ruined the seasons of two teams. Desperately needing a win, TEAM MANBEARPIG was beaten by 35 points. PT won despite only four player beating their projections and three failing to break ten points. Shady McCoy began to emerge as a threat and would terrorize the next two opponents along with Sammy Watkins.

In week 12, with nothing to play for, they faced Reign Maker, with everything to play for. If Reign Maker won they would be a game up on Papa's Posse and own the tie breaker in points. But Watkins and McCoy came to play for Pain Train WOO WOO. Pain Train also started Jameis Winston at QB. Recapturing the rookie magic of RG3 days gone bye, PT won handily by surpassing the 200-point threshold for just the second time all season.

Finishing the season strong, PT had a chance to take away the by from GaroppoblowMe in week 13. And they nearly did. PT came out of the gate strong on Thursday night and held the lead the entire matchup. Le'Veon Bell's 41 points boosted the team to an improbable victory in week 4 against GBM and this time around it was 41 points from the Cincy defense. GBM was humiliated, his fate torn away from him with the loss. Luckily for GBM, ma ma momma said had an epic collapse on Monday night that just barely gave them the bye. But Pain Train WOO WOO had succeeded in stripping GBM of the one-seed AND knocking two teams out of playoff contention. As disgusting a season as it was, the team finished just one game out of a playoff spot.