Not So Happy Campers - Part 1

**Not So Happy Campers - Part 1** is the first episode from *Total Drama Island*, the first season of *Total Drama*.

This is the first episode overall of the series.

## Characters

* Chris McLean
* Cockroach
* Grub
* Beth
* DJ
* Gwen
* Geoff
* Lindsay
* Heather
* Duncan
* Tyler
* Harold
* Trent
* Bridgette
* Seagull
* Noah
* Leshawna
* Katie
* Sadie
* Ezekiel
* Cody
* Eva
* Owen
* Courtney
* Justin
* Izzy
* Deer
* Loon
* Chef

## Opening: Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa

* *(The first episode starts at a camp called "Camp Wawanakwa," located at Muskoka, Ontario, where a host named Chris McLean introduces himself.)*
* **Chris McLean:** Yo, we're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario! I'm your host, Chris McLean, dropping season one of the hottest reality show on television right now! Here's the deal, twenty-two campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp, they'll compete in challenges against each other, then have to face the judgement of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the loser boat, *(he laughs)* and leave Total Drama Island for good. Their fate will be decided here at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week all but one camper will receive one marshmallow. *(Chris grabs a marshmallow with a stick, he eats it, then he throws the stick away)* In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small *(holds a tiny treasure chest)* fortune which let's face it, they'll probably blow it in a week, to survive, they'll have to battle *(a bear tries to shoo the flies)* black flies, *(a grizzly bear roars)* grizzly bears, disgusting camp food.
* **Grub**: Hey now.
* **Chris:** And, each other. *(a bird and her babies chirp singing beside a camera)* Every moment will be caught on of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp, who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here right now on Total, Drama, Island. *(theme song)*

♪ Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine ♪

♪ You guys are on my mind ♪

♪ You asked me what I wanted to be and now I think the answer is plain to see ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna live close to the sun ♪

♪ Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won ♪

♪ Everything to prove, nothing in my way ♪

♪ I'll get there one day ♪

♪ Cause, I wanna be famous! ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na! ♪

♪ I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na! *(as can be heard in the background)*

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous

*(Whistling in tune)*

## Introducing the Campers

* **Chris:** Welcome back to Total Drama Island, all right, it's time to meet our first 11 campers, we told them they'd all be staying at this five-star resort so, if they seemed a little T.O.-ed, that's probably why. *(Beth arrives)* Beth, what's up? *(Beth hugs Chris)*
* **Beth:** It's so incredulous to meet you! Wow, you're much shorter in real life. *(she waves at the audience)*
* **Chris:** Uh, thanks. *(DJ arrives)* DJ.
* **DJ:** Yo, Chris McLean, how's it going? Hey, you sure you got the right place here? Where's the hot tub at?
* **Chris:** Yo, dawg, this is it, Camp Wawanakwa. *(DJ lifts his luggage, he does not look happy.)*
* **DJ:** Hmph, looked a lot different on the application form. *(Gwen arrives with an unhappy look.)*
* **Chris:** Hey, Gwen.
* **Gwen:** You mean we're staying *here*?
* **Chris:** No, *you're* staying here. *(points at the cabins)* My crib is an air stream with AC that-a-way.
* **Gwen:** *(unhappy)* I did not sign up for this.
* **Chris:** Actually, you did. *(Gwen rips her contract and smiles)* The great thing about lawyers is, *(hands out another contract)* they make lots of copies.
* **Gwen:** I am not staying here.
* **Chris:** Cool, I hope you can swim though, *(Gwen's boat leaves)* because your ride just left. *(Gwen's boat honks)*
* **Gwen:** *(angered)* Jerk! *(Geoff arrives with party music playing)*
* **Geoff:** Chris McLean! Sup, man! It's an honor to meet you, man!
* **Chris:** The Geoff-Ster, welcome to the island, man.
* **Geoff:** Thanks, man.
* **Gwen:** They say "man" one more time, I'm gonna puke.
* *(Chris and Geoff high five.)*
* **Chris:** Everybody, this is Lindsay. *(pop music plays while Lindsay is introduced)* Not too shabby.
* **Lindsay:** Hi! Okay, you look so familiar.
* **Chris:** I'm Chris McLean... *(Lindsay looks confused)* The host of the show.
* **Lindsay:** Oh, *that's* where I know you from.
* **Chris:** Uh, yeah... *(Heather arrives, with sunglasses on, she gives a dirty look on the contestants)* Heather...
* **Beth:** *(runs to Heather)* Hi! *(spits saliva due to having braces, Heather looks disgusted)* Looks like we're your new friends for the next eight weeks!
* *(Rock music plays, Duncan arrives with an unhappy look.)*
* **Chris:** Duncan, dude.
* **Duncan:** I don't like, surprises.
* **Chris:** Yeah, your parole officer warned me about that, man, he also told me to give him a holler any time and have you return to juvie.
* **Duncan:** *(sniffs and smiles)* Okay, then. *(to Heather)* Meet you at the campfire, gorgeous.
* **Heather:** Drop dead, you skeeze! I'm calling my parents, you cannot make me stay here!
* *(Chris holds up Heather's contract smiling. A horn honks. Tyler is water skiing)*
* **Chris:** Ladies and gentlemen, Tyler! *(Tyler slips and flies over the contestants, he bumps into the luggage)*
* **Beth, DJ, and Gwen:** Ooh!
* *(A luggage flips and splashes into the water, splashing Heather.)*
* **Heather:** Ugh, my shoes!
* **Chris:** Wicked wipeout, man!
* *(Tyler's hand comes out of the luggage and gives a thumbs up to Chris. DJ and Geoff give a thumbs up to each other, Gwen crosses her arms. Heather angrily walks towards the docks. Chris giggles quietly. Harold arrives with a keyboard and breathes loudly.)*
* **Chris:** Welcome to camp, Harold. *(Harold looks around)*
* **Beth:** What's he looking at?
* **Harold:** So you mean this show is at a crappy summer camp and not on some big stage or something?
* **Chris:** You got it.
* **Harold:** Yes! That is so much more favorable to my skills.
* *(Chris shudders. Harold stands beside Geoff and Gwen.)*
* **Chris:** Contestant number nine is Trent.
* **Trent:** Hey, good to meet you, man, saw you on that figure skating show, nice work.
* **Chris:** Hey, thanks, man, I knew I rocked that show!
* **Beth:** I saw that, one of the guys dropped his partner on her head, though. They got immunity that week.
* **Harold:** Lucky! I hope I get dropped on my head.
* **Lindsay:** Me too!
* **Trent:** So, this is it? *(Heather squishes her hair, Harold picks his nose)* All righty then. *(he approaches Gwen and Harold continues picking his nose, Trent smiles at Gwen. She looks away from him and secretly smiles back at him)*
* *(Bridgette arrives with her surfboard.)*
* **Bridgette:** Hey, what's up?
* **Chris:** All right, our surfer chick, Bridgette is here.
* **Duncan:** *(scoffs)* Nice board. This ain't Malibu, honey.
* **Bridgette:** I thought we were going to be on a beach.
* **Chris:** We are.
* *(A seagull with plastic on its neck gets washed by the waves.)*
* **Bridgette:** *(sighs, sarcastic)* Great.
* **Chris:** All right, that makes-
* *(Bridgette knocks Chris with her surfboard and picks up her luggage.)*
* **Chris:** Ow! Darn it, that hurts!
* **Bridgette:** Hey, guys.
* **Geoff:** Hey, I'm Geoff.
* **Bridgette:** *(almost knocks the boys while the boys duck down trying to avoid getting hit)* What's up?
* **Harold:** Dang, watch the board, man!
* **Beth:** Hi! I'm Beth.
* **Bridgette:** *(once again, she almost knocks the boys while the boys duck down trying to avoid getting hit)* Hey.
* **Heather:** Okay, we've met Surfer Girl, can we get on with the show, please?
* **Duncan:** *(to Heather)* Someone missed their double cappuccino macchiato this morning.
* **Heather:** Get bent!
* *(Noah arrives.)*
* **Chris:** Our, next camper is Noah.
* **Noah:** You got my memo about my life-threatening allergies?
* **Chris:** I'm sure someone did.
* **Noah:** Good, is this where we're staying?
* **Duncan:** No, it's your mother's house, and we're throwing a party!
* **Noah:** Cute, nice piercings, original, do them yourself?
* **Duncan:** *(grabs Noah's lips)* Yeah, you want one?
* **Noah:** Uh, no thanks, can I have my lip back, please? *(Duncan lets go of Noah's lips)* Thanks.
* *(Leshawna arrives and waves to the campers.)*
* **Leshawna:** What's up, y'all? Leshawna's in the house! *(Harold gasps.)* Yo, baby, hey, how you doing? How's it going? *(she and Chris high five)* Feel free to quit now, save yourself the trouble 'cause I came to win! Oh, what's up, my brother? *(she and DJ high five)* Give me some sugar, baby!
* **Harold:** I've never seen a girl like you in real life before.
* **Leshawna:** Excuse me?
* **Harold:** You're real big... and loud.
* **Leshawna:** *(offended)* **WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME, OH NO YOU DIDN'T!** *(Gwen and Trent are in shock)* **YOU HAVE NOT SEEN ANYTHING YET!** *(Harold defends himself with some of his karate skills, Bridgette and DJ try to stop Leshawna)* **I'LL SHOW YOU *BIG*, BABY!** *(Harold makes karate sounds)* **OH YEAH, YOU WANT SOME OF THIS? WELL, COME ON THEN!**
* **Chris:** All right, campers, settle down! *(Leshawna calms down, Harold smiles at her. Katie and Sadie arrive)* Ladies, Sadie, Katie, welcome to your new home for eight weeks.
* *(The scene shows a crummy old cabin house where flies are heard buzzing)*
* **Katie:** Oh my gosh, Sadie, look, it's a summer camp!
* **Sadie:** Okay, I always wanted to go to a summer camp. Eeeeeee! *(the girls grab their bags and run gleefully)*
* *(Chris looks unsure. Ezekiel arrives.)*
* **Chris:** Ezekiel! What's up, man!
* **Ezekiel:** *(points up)* I think I see a bird. *(Trent laughs.)*
* **Chris:** Okay, look, dude, I know you don't get out much, been homeschooled your whole life raised by freaky prairie people, just don't say much and try not to get kicked off too early, okay.
* **Ezekiel:** Yes, sir.
* **Gwen:** That's just... Wow.
* *(Cody arrives.)*
* **Chris:** Cody, the Codester, the Codemeister! *(he and Cody high five)*
* **Cody:** Dude, psyched to be here, man. *(walks and sees Bridgette, Lindsay and Leshawna)* I see ladies have already arrived, all right.
* *(Cody tries to say something to Leshawna, but Leshawna pauses him.)*
* **Leshawna:** Save it, short stuff.
* *(Eva arrives.)*
* **Chris:** Eva. Nice, glad you could make it.
* *(Cody tries to high five with Eva, but Eva's bag drops on Cody's foot.)*
* **Cody:** Ow, what's in there, dumbbells?
* **Eva:** Yes.
* **Duncan:** *(to DJ)* She's all yours, man.
* *(Owen arrives.)*
* **Owen:** Wooohoooo! Chris! What's happenin'?! *(laughs)* This is awesome! Woooooohoooo!
* **Chris:** Owen! Welcome!
* **Owen:** *(hugs and squishes Chris)* Awesome to be here, man! Yeah! Man, this is so...
* **Gwen:** Awesome?
* **Owen:** Yes! Awesome, woop!! Are you going to be on my team?
* **Gwen:** *(sarcastically)* Oh, I sure hope so.
* **Owen:** Woooooooo!
* **Chris:** You about finished?
* **Owen:** Sorry, dude, I'm just so psyched!
* **Chris:** Cool, and here comes Courtney.
* *(Courtney arrives and waves, Chris gives her a hand.)*
* **Courtney:** Thanks. *(Owen walks and stops)* Hi, you must be the other contestants, It's really nice to meet you all.
* **Owen:** *(shakes Courtney's hand)* How's it going? I'm Owen.
* **Chris:** Nice to meet you- Ohhhh wow!
* *(Justin arrives. Everyone reacts to Justin and his attractive appearance. Justin smiles at the audience. Sadie faints and Eva swoons.)*
* **Chris:** This, is Justin. Welcome to Total Drama Island. *(he and Justin fist pump)*
* **Justin:** Thanks, Chris, this is great.
* **Chris:** Just so you know, we picked you based entirely on looks.
* **Justin:** I can deal with that. *(walks to the dock)*
* **Owen:** I like your pants.
* **Justin:** Thanks, man.
* **Owen:** Cause they look like they're all worn out. *(laughs)* Did you buy them like that? *(the girls stare at Justin swooning.)*
* **Justin:** Uh, no, just had them for a while.
* **Owen:** Oh, cool. *(smacks his forehead)* Stupid!
* *(Izzy arrives on her boat.)*
* **Chris:** Hey, everyone, Izzy!
* **Izzy:** Hi, Chris! Hi! Hi! Whoa! *(she trips and hits her chin on the dock)*
* **Tyler:** Oooooh, that was bad. *(laughs)*
* *(Courtney runs to help Izzy.)*
* **Courtney:** Guys, she could be seriously hurt! *(she helps Izzy up)*
* **Izzy:** *(shakes her hair to wipe the water off, like a dog)* That felt... so... good! Except for hitting my chin. This is summer camp? This is so cool, do you have paper mache? Are we having lunch soon?
* **Owen:** That is a good call!

## Campers' First Photo

* **Chris:** First things first, we need a group photo for the promos, everyone on the end of the dock. *(the twenty-two contestants walk there. Chris jumps onto the boat)* Okay, one, two, three... *(he forgets the lens cap)* Oops. okay, forgot the lens cap. *(he puts the lens cap on)* Okay, hold that pose. One, tw-- Oh, no, wait, cards full. Hang on.
* **Leshawna:** *(rolls her eyes)* Come on, man, my face is starting to freeze!
* **Chris:** Got it. Okay, everyone say "Wawanakwa!"
* **Twenty-two Campers:** Wawanakwa! *(suddenly, the dock collapses, the picture is taken, the picture shows the campers almost drowning and swimming for their life)*

## Splitting Up the Campers

* **Chris:** Okay, guys, dry off and meet at the campfire pit in ten. *(the screen fades into black. The episode continues where Chris and the campers are at the campfire pit)* This is Camp Wawanakwa, your home for the next eight weeks. The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition and maybe even your friends, you dig? *(Harold smiles at Duncan. Duncan threatens Harold)* The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off will win $100,000!
* **Duncan:** Excuse me? What will the sleeping arrangements be? Because I'd like to request a bunk under her. *(points to Heather)*
* **Heather:** They're not co-ed, are they?
* **Chris:** No. Girls get one side of each cabin and dudes get the other.
* **Lindsay:** Excuse me, Kyle. Can I have a cabin with the lake view since I'm the prettiest?
* **Chris:** Okay, you are. But that's not really how it works here, and, it's Chris.
* **Katie:** I have to live with Sadie or, I'll die!
* **Sadie:** And I'll break out in hives. It's true.
* **Gwen:** This cannot be happening.
* **Owen:** *(hugs Gwen and Tyler)* Aw, come on guys! It'll be fun, it's like a big sleepover!
* **Tyler:** *(to Gwen)* At least you don't have to sleep next to him. *(points to Duncan)*
* *(Rock music plays, Duncan roughly gives a noogie to a deer. Gwen and Tyler look at each other confused)*
* **Chris:** Here's the deal. We're gonna split you into two teams if I call your name out go stand over there. Gwen. Trent. Heather. Cody. Lindsay. Beth. Katie. Owen. Leshawna. Justin, and Noah. From this moment on, you are officially known as, *(a logo displays a gopher screaming in a boxing match)* "The Screaming Gophers!"
* **Owen:** Yeah! I'm a gopher! Woooo!
* **Katie:** Wait! What about Sadie?
* **Chris:** The rest of you over here. Geoff. Bridgette. D.J. Tyler. Sadie. Izzy. Courtney. Ezekiel. Duncan. Eva, and Harold. Move, move, move, move!
* **Sadie:** But Katie's a gopher! I have to be a gopher!
* **Courtney:** Sadie, is it? Come on, it'll be okay.
* **Sadie:** This is so unfair! *(cries out)* I miss you, Katie!
* **Katie:** *(crying)* I miss you too!
* **Chris:** You guys will officially be known as, *(a logo shows an angry bass)* "the Killer Bass!"
* **Harold:** Awesome! It's like.... Amazing.
* **Chris:** All right, campers, you and your team will be on camera in all public areas during this competition. *(in the confessional for the first time)* You will also be able to share your innermost thoughts on tape with video diaries anytime you want. Let the audience at home know what you're really thinking. Or just get something off your chest.
* **Gwen:** *(in the confessional)* Um, okay... So far, this sucks.
* **Lindsay:** *(in the confessional, facing her back)* Um, I don't get it. Where's the camera guy?
* *(A loon is wearing lipstick in the confessional. It notices it's being filmed)*
* **Owen:** *(in the confessional)* Hey everyone. Check this out. I have something very important to say. *(farts, and then laughs)*
* *(Scene cuts back to campfire.)*
* **Chris:** All right. Any questions? Cool. Let's find your cabins. Gophers, you're in the east cabin. Bass, you're in the west.
* **Heather:** Bunk Beds? Isn't this a little, summer camp?
* **Gwen:** That's the idea, genius.
* **Heather:** Shut up, weird goth girl!
* **Cody:** You're so smart, I feel that.
* **Gwen:** Shouldn't you be on the boys' side?!
* *(Cody flies from the girls cabin as he is thrown by Gwen off-screen and passes by Leshawna. He then crashes.)*
* **Lindsay:** Where are the outlets? I have to plug in my straightening iron.
* **Chris:** There are some in the communal bathrooms. Just across the way.
* **Lindsay:** Communal bathrooms? But I'm not Catholic.
* **Chris:** Not communion, *communal*.
* **Gwen:** It means we shower together, idiot!
* *(Lindsay, hurt that Gwen called her an idiot, starts to cry loudly. Gwen covers her ears.)*
* **Lindsay:** Oh! Come on!
* **Owen:** I'm glad we're in our own cabin with just *guys*, you know what I mean? *(laughs. Noah and Trent look annoyed and weirded by this, crickets chirp in the background*) I mean no! I didn't mean it like that! *(the two go back inside their cabin)* I love chicks. *(Owen laughs nervously)* I just don't wanna sleep near them, I mean...
* **Geoff:** Excuse me, Chris? Is there, uh, a chaperone of any kind in this facility here?
* **Chris:** You're all 16 years old, as old as a counselor in training at a regular summer camp. So other than myself. You'll be unsupervised. You've got half an hour to unpack and meet me back at the main lodge, starting now.
* **Geoff:** Nice!
* *(Lindsay screams so loud that the whole camp can hear her.)*
* **Leshawna:** Oh man, that white girl can scream.
* **Lindsay:** *(spots a cockroach)* What is it? Kill it, kill it!
* *(DJ gasps, shrieks, and then climbs onto Gwen's bed with a scared expression.)*
* **Gwen:** That... was my bed.
* *(The campers scream and attempt to squish the cockroach but fail. Duncan raises an axe and prepares to kill the cockroach.)*
* **Cockroach:** Help me! *(Duncan slices the cockroach)*
* **Gwen:** Well, that's one way to kill a cockroach.
* **Harold:** Awesome.
* **Tyler:** *(takes credit)* If you ever see one of those again, just let me know, 'kay? Cause, *(sniffs proudly as he tries to impress Lindsay)* you know, I can do that too.
* *(Lindsay and Tyler smile at each other.)*
* **Duncan:** *(scoffs and smiles)* They always go for the jocks.

## Serve Up by Chef Hatchet

* *(Scene cuts to the campers inside the cafeteria where the cook named Chef Hatchet is serving lunch to the campers.)*
* **Chef Hatchet:** Listen up! I serve it three times a day, and you'll eat it three times a day! Grab a tray, get your food, and sit your butts down, NOW!!!
* **Beth:** Excuse me, but will we be getting all the major food groups?
* **Harold:** Yeah, cause I get hypoglycemic real bad if I don't get enough sugar.
* **Chef:** You'll get a whole lot of shut the heck up!!
* **Owen:** Have a cow.
* **Chef:** What was that?! *(silence)* Come closer, fat boy! I didn't hear you!
* **Owen:** Oh, I didn't really say anything important.
* **Chef:** I'm sure you didn't! *(to Noah)* You! Scrawny kid, give me your plate.
* **Leshawna:** *(to Eva)* Yo, what's up girl? *(Eva blinks at her and says nothing to Leshawna and leaves. Leshawna is angered by this)* Oh, it's gonna be like that, is it?
* **Chef:** *(yells at Leshawna)* NEXT!!!
* **Lindsay:** Excuse me, my nutritionist says I shouldn't eat any white sugar, white flour, or like dairy.
* *(Chef crunches a fly.)*
* **Gwen:** I don't think that's gonna be a problem.
* *(The "sandwich" moves.)*
* **Lindsay:** Cool. *(leaves)*
* **Gwen:** Okay, I hate to be predictable and complain on the first day, but I think mine just moved. *(Chef slams down a hammer on it. Gwen looks nervous)* Right! Okay, then.
* *(A slimy creature slithers in the cafeteria lodge.)*
* **Chris:** Welcome to the Main Lodge!
* **Geoff:** Yo, my man. Can we order a pizza? *(Chef throws a cleaver near Geoff)* Whoa! It's cool, G! Brown slop is cool! *(laughs nervously)* Right guys?
* *(Campers nod in agreement.)*
* **Chris:** Your first challenge begins, in one hour!
* **Katie:** *(with Sadie's voice)* What do you think they'll make us do?
* **DJ:** It's our first challenge, how hard can it be?

## Ending: On a cliff

* *(The scene shows the campers on the cliff, looking nervous.)*
* **DJ:** Oh sh\*\*!
* **Chris:** Next time on Total Drama Island. *(a preview is shown from the next episode)* Your first task is to jump off this 1,000 foot high cliff into the lake.
* **Geoff:** *(in the confessional)* I'm looking at this guy and thinking, "there's no way he's gonna make it."
* **Gwen:** *(in the confessional)* I actually thought "if he jumps this... He's gonna die."
* **Owen:** I'm going to die now. I'm going to frickin' die now! *(two sharks roar as they open their mouths, Owen jumps off, screaming, ending the first episode)*

## References

1. ↑ In the censored version, Heather called Duncan a "goof".
2. ↑ In the censored version, Harold used the word "*yucky*" instead.
3. ↑ In the censored version, Gwen says "stinks."
4. ↑ In the censored version, Heather said "shut it!"
5. ↑ In the censored version, Lindsay said "Where's the spa? I'm confused."
6. ↑ In the censored version, Chris said "Wow, that's a shocker."
7. ↑ In the censored version, Chef said "You'll get, sit your butt down!!"
8. ↑ In the censored version, Chef called Owen "big guy."
9. ↑ In the censored version, a loon was heard calling in the distance instead.
10. ↑ In the censored version, Owen says "totally."