CPU Kerfuffle 8

## Fighters

* Hoedown: Peach, 7th place
* Princess Remedy: Rosalina & Luma, 7th place
* Alabaster Uppercut: Ken, 5th place
* Sax Jack: Luigi, 5th place
* Tall Lycanroc: Lucario, 4th place
* Visible Man: Snake, 3rd place
* Blonde Sora: Cloud, 2nd place
* Captain Valentine: Captain Falcon, 1st place
* Taako (From TV): Link, Reigning Champion

## Leaderboard

CPUK 8
 Blonde Sora
 Visible Man
 Tall Lycanroc
 Alabaster Uppercut
 Sax Jack
 Sprout / Hoedown
 Princess Remedy

#### **Captain Valentine vs. Invisible Man**

Game one goes to Mario Maker, with a really wild layout. Captain Valentine goes on a blistering offensive, taking stock one with an off stage down air. Invisible man is able to take a stock with a Nikita, only to get spiked by Val. Captain Valentine, showing why he is the captain, takes game one with a Falcon Punch in neutral.

Game two goes to New Donk City, with Partially Visible Man going on the defensive. PVM is able to take the first stock with a C4. Val takes the stock back with a forward tilt, but SDs for it. PVM is able to take the game off of Val, using the jank stage. Fun fact, this is the only game anyone will take off of Captain Valentine this tournament.

Game three goes to Smashville, with an easy Val advantage as Animal Crossing is one of his favorite games. Val takes the first stock with an up smash, and proceeds to eat a pineapple in one bite. Captain Valentine keeps the advantage with an off stage up b. Val is unable to secure the three stock to a PVM down air, but wins the set with a down tilt.

Winner: **Captain Valentine**

#### **Princess Remedy vs. Tall Rockruff**

Game one goes to Green Greens, a notorious stage in CPU Kerfuffle. Princess Remedy takes a super early stock with a down air, and stays ahead until Tall Rockruff gets the aura flowing to even the game up. With a massive aura boost, Tall Rockruff is able to take a lead with a forward smash, before Princess Remedy evens it up with a spike. Tall Rockruff keeps building aura, and he takes the game with an up air.

Game two goes to Reset Bomb Forest, where Tall Rockruff's parents died and where he would talk to his friend Viridi. Remedy is able to take stock one, with Tall Rockruff close behind with a gimp in the middle pit. Tall Rockruff is able to sauce up on the aura, and take a stock with forward smash before dropping to an up smash. Remedy is able to stall out for a bit, but does drop to a neutral air from Rockruff.

Winner: **Tall Rockruff**

#### **Alabaster Uppercut vs. Sax Jack**

Game one goes to Spiral Mountain, where an early SD puts Alabaster Uppercut in the lead. Even if he loses the lead, Alabaster shows that he is in Jack's head, able to start destroying Jack after he loses another stock. Alabaster Uppercut takes a stock with an up smash, teasing his signature move and showing that he no longer relies on it. He saves the big move for the finish, landing the Alabaster Uppercut to close out game one.

Game two goes to Jungle Japes, where the background saxophone brings Sax Jack extra power. He doesn't use it though, and forgets how to swim to lose a stock. Alabaster proves that he also does not know how to swim. Sax Jack, even with all the time that has passed, did not learn how to swim and SDs again, and then does it a third time to really prove that he cannot swim.

Winner: **Alabaster Uppercut**

#### **Blonde Sora vs. Sprout**

Game one goes to Castle Siege, a place with a really interesting platform layout for both fighters. Sora takes stock one with a down air, but Sprout brings it back to even with an up smash. Sora is able to take a lead with a Limit Blade Beam. Sprout is able to even it up, using a move that was very hard to see due to it being a trade. Sora is able to snipe with another Limit Blade Beam.

Game two goes to Pirate Ship, where Sprout gets taken out by an early up smash. That isn't the only shocking event, with her stage pick and Sora's ability to unlock people's hearts, it is revealed that Sprout is actually from Red Kraken. Sora keeps the pressure up with another up smash kill, but Sprout prevents the three stock with a side b. She doesn't stay in the winner's end for long as Sora takes it with a down smash. Sprout, revealing herself as Hoedown, goes down to loser's.

Winner: **Blonde Sora**

#### **Partially Visible Man vs. Princess Remedy**

Game one goes to Magicant, with both fighters seeming flustered. PVM takes stock one with a C4, leading into both fighters coming out as bisexual at the exact same time. Both fighters keep on with their date, with Remedy SDing before taking him out with a forward smash. Partially Visible Man is only still partly invisible due to it not being Bi Visibility Day at the time, which lets him sneak in to kill with a C4.

Game two goes to... Kalos League? No... it's a chruch! It seems that the fighters have taken game two to their wedding. PVM starts the game with an SD, making up for the seemingly accidental finish to last round, but takes it back with a Nikita. Remedy is able to land a spike to take stock two, but is swiftly drops to a forward smash. PVM is able to take the game, in a seemingly fighter scripted match, to move on.

Winner: **Partially Visible Man** (and love)

#### **Sax Jack vs. Hoedown**

Game one goes to Delfino Plaza as we shift from a match of new lovers to a match of exes. It seems to have been a messy breakup because Sax Jack goes on the hyper offensive with an up smash. Hoedown seems to have moved on, and has better things to do than deal with him, since she doesn't seem to be trying. Sax Jack seems to have things to work through, as he takes the next stock with a forward air before Hoedown takes a stock off of him. Sax Jack wins game one, but Hoedown seems to have won the game of life because she's moved on.

Game two goes to Fountain of Dreams, and Hoedown starts sending Sax Jack on his way to get some therapy. Hoedown takes stock one, using an up smash to prove that she has moved on and has found a job in STEM, piracy, and in plant stems seeming to allude to a job in phytopiracy (plant based piracy) as well as a confirmation that she does IT work for the Red Kraken. Hoedown, in the time it took to invent a word through backwards etymology, takes a stock from Sax Jack with a gimp. Sax Jack prevents a three stock with a down smash, but Hoedown wins the match.

Sax Jack is lashing out while the two head to Norfair, a perfect representation of Sax Jack's mental state. Sax Jack uses his signature move, SDing at low percents. Sax Jack takes Hoedown out with a back air. Hoedown, after saving Sax Jack to give him more time to work through whatever it is he's going through, watches another Sax Jack SD. Sax Jack is able to even it up with a back air. Sax Jack is able to take the game with an up smash. Sax Jack seems to have worked through some of his issues, and has begun the steps to bettering himself through therapy and apologizing for his past actions.

Winner: **Sax Jack**

### **Round 2**

#### **Captain Valentine vs. Tall Rockruff**

Game one goes to Brinstar with Captain Valentine going on an early offensive. Val is able to take stock one, proving that he isn't afraid of the aura whatsoever. Val swiftly SDs due to stage jank, but doesn't let it faze him. Tall Rockruff does the unthinkable and takes a lead with another Val SD. He takes the game to last stock with a back throw, and a game win with an up b.

Game two goes to Duck Hunt, where Val pulls out all of the stops. He starts with a neutral air to KO, not SDing despite going deep. Val keeps the game rolling, nailing a forward smash to take a two stock lead. Frankly, words cannot do this stock justice, so here is a link that goes directly to the moment. After a brutal three stock, Rockruff starts to glow, and evolves into Tall Lycanroc.

Winner: **Captain Valentine**

#### **Alabaster Uppercut vs. Blonde Sora**

Game one goes to Find Mii, a stage known for Monkey Watch. Sora takes stock one with a back air, using his Keyblade. Alabaster Uppercut shows that the one thing to counter the power of friendship is sick personal branding, as he takes a stock with the Alabaster Uppercut. Sora is able to keep his momentum, landing a Limit Cross Slash for the KO. Blonde Sora seems to have recognized the failings of the power of friendship against the Alabaster Uppercut, because he ends the game with the rudest foot stool.

Game two goes to Midgar, where funky things happen too often for a stage so similar to Battlefield. Sora takes stock one with a dash attack. Alabaster is just playing too safe to keep up with Sora's pressure, and goes down with a triple up smash combo. Alabaster prevents a three stock with a back air at over 200% but does not prevent a loss from a Limit Blade Beam.

Winner: **Blonde Sora**

### **Losers Round 2**

#### **Alabaster Uppercut vs. Partially Visible Man**

Game one goes to Pokemon Stadium, where PVM uses an up tilt to take stock one. PVM tosses Alabaster Uppercut a grenade then neutral airs him to combo Alabaster into the blast zone. Alabaster uses a forward air to avoid the three stock but not the loss as he goes down to a Partially Visible down air.

Game two goes to Halberd, with Alabaster going extremely offensive, and seemingly going Crimson with a technique Blonde Sora told him about. PVM takes an early C4 stock, trying to wake Alabaster up. Alabaster lands a throw to take a stock from PVM, with a PVM forward stock bringing the lead back. PVM is able to use his Dummy Thicc technique, taking the game with an up tilt. Thankfully, Alabaster turns teal again with the confirmation that the technique was not Crimson and indeed K Mart.

Winner: **Partially Visible Man**

#### **Tall Lycanroc vs. Sax Jack**

Game one goes to Pictochat, with both fighters having undergone massive changes in bracket. Tall Lycanroc is able to build aura on Sax Jack, taking an early forward smash kill. Sax Jack is able to take a stock, using a back throw, but Lycanroc takes another stock with another forward smash. Sax Jack uses the power of spaghetti to take a stock, only for Lycanroc to use the power of back air to win the game.

Game two goes to Lycanroc's home turf of Pokemon Stadium. Lycanroc takes stock one with a counter, using his new power from the evolution. Jack is able to land a down air into a back air for a kill, taking another stock with an up b. Lycanroc is able to even it out, gimping Sax Jack with an Aura Sphere. Lycanroc does manage to barely take the win with an up smash.

Winner: **Tall Lycanroc**

### **Captan Valentine vs. Blonde Sora**

The fighters go to WarioWare, a stage made for style. Valentine takes stock one with an up smash. Sora is able to bring it to even with a Limit Blade Beam, only to go down to a back air. Sora keeps going, landing another Limit Blade Beam to even it up again, but Val fires back with a forward throw.

Game two goes to Yggdrasil's Altar. Valentine is able to take stock one with a down tilt, and takes another with a gimp off of a limit charged up b. Sora narrowly avoids the three stock with a Limit Blade Beam, only to go down to a back throw for the 2-0.

Winner: **Captain Valentine**

### **Partially Visible Man vs. Tall Lycanroc**

Game one goes to Skyloft. PVM takes stock one with an up tilt under the platform, but Lycanrock fires back with an up smash. Lycanroc, after witnessing PVM eat a chocolate bar while in the grab, SDs with an on stage up b. PVM is able to take game one with a strike of his dummy thicc up tilt once again.

Game two goes to Umbra Clock Tower, a stage known for the really funky clock face in the center. Tall Lycanroc eats chocolate, using the internal damage to power up with aura. PVM pulls a Taako and drops to his own explosive timing out. Call PVM the move tutor, because Tall Lycanroc breaks out some CQC to take a second stock. Tall Lycanroc's early aura gives him enough power to get a three stock on PVM to turn him fully visible.

Game three goes to Gamer, with Visible Man showing off his newly visible thicc thighs. Lycanroc goes for a neutral air to aura sphere, but the KO is neutralized by Visible Man soon after. Visible Man is able to hit Lycanrock hard enough to stage spike Lycanrock with an overhang. Visible Man is able to win the set, pinballing Lycanroc with a forward smash.

Winner: **Visible Man**

### **Blonde Sora vs. Visible Man**

Game one goes to Lumiose City, with an early Blonde Sora stock lead. Visible Man is able to even the stocks for a short time, landing a C4 but dropping to an up smash. Visible Man is able to bring it right back with a forward smash. Visible Man is able to take game one with a Nikita.

Game two goes to Yoshi's Island, with a two second shift to Sora's emo phase. Sora takes the first stock with a Cross Slash, but is brought back to even with a Visible Man up smash. Sora is able to take another stock with a forward smash, but it gets neutralized by a Visible Man back air. Sora is able to keep momentum, and takes the game with a back air off of halo.

Game three goes to Battlefield, a boring pick for a climactic battle but not every match can be on Green Greens. Sora takes stock one with a Limit Blade Beam, but gets taken out by a neutral air from Visible Man, but Visible man cannot make it back to ledge. Essentially, both fighters go back to zero percent and Visible Man is on tournament stock. Visible Man, going full Taako, loses the set to his own C4 timing out., seems like he had a date to catch.

Winner: **Blonde Sora**

### **Grand Finals**

Game one goes to a very red Mementos, thankfully there aren't any Crimson people here to gain an advantage. Sora is able to take stock one, but Val is able to fire back with an up b kill. Sora, who is known for a terrible recovery, drops a second stock and doesn't commit to taking Val with him. Sora evens it up with a dash attack, but Val wins with another killer up b.

Game two goes to Lylat, whose weird ledges might be a problem for both fighters. Sora is able to take stock one with a forward smash, but quickly drops to a sour spot down air. Val is able to keep the momentum, killing off stage due to his weird recovery. Val, after what can only be described as Lylat bullshit, is able to take the game with a parry forward smash.

Winner: **Captain Valentine**

### **Championship Match**

The game goes to Super Happy Tree Battlefield, certainly a stage pick but definitely a weird one. Captain Valentine is playing for the people, and takes stock one with a super flashy up smash. Taako may be from TV, but Val is from the crowd, coming back after losing a stock to spike Taako for little to no reason other than theatrics. Val is able to keep on going, taking Taako (From TV) with a forward smash like he is nothing.

Champion: **Captain Valentine**