2023 Power Rankings-Week 6

## Introduction

Papa's Posse scored 205.86 points...and lost.

Mattness scored 154.86 points...and won.

The Shotti Bunch scored 148.18 last week and looked dead. This week they scored 337.74. Turns out very much alive.

The Stupid Idiots has been winning despite failing to break 200 since week 2. Not so lucky this week, as they log their first L.

Pain Train is averaging 214.03 points over the last three weeks but is 1-2, while RIPDab is averaging 201.93 over the last three and is 2-1.

It was a week of statements, or lack thereof.

In the matchup of the week, Sweet Dee and Mattness failed to impress but still managed to bring the drama. Both teams started off hot by making terrible QB start decisions. Dee benched keeper Joe Burrow for Matt Stafford, only for Joe to nearly double up on Stafford's score. Mattness picked up CJ Stroud with Herbert on the bye, not even considering the far more logical option of Brock Purdy who has literally never lost a football game and who was throwing to three of the other players in the Dee v Commish matchup.

The shitiness continued for both teams. Dee, in a bit of psychological warfare, picked up Skyy Moore and learned the hard way that Commish's hunches are usually wrong. But Commish actually had one good hunch, and that was Darren Waller actually getting the football. Sadly, Rhamondre looked StevenDONE (have I already made that joke?) as the Patriots secured last place in the AFC East with 12 games left to play. Side note: not trying to blame Jared's bet on NE winning OVER 11.5 games but someone has to take the heat and it's not going to be Belichick.

But SNF really had some dramatic turns for this matchup, and two big plays each had the potential to swing the week. First, it was Deebo (Commish's player) getting stuffed at the foot line, only for CMC (Dee's player) to carry it in for a TD on the next play. Then later it was a 40+ yarder for Aiyuk (Dee) getting erased because of a hold. Deebo caught a 40+ yarder on the very next play. Whichever team lost, it was going to come down to the reversal on one of those two plays. And which team lost ultimately rested on whether Jakobi Meyers could score over 8 points against the Packers on Monday Night Football.

Jakobi finished the job early Monday with a second quarter TD for the comeback win. The 9.5-points that Deebo got on SNF over Aiyuk for the 40+ yarder was the difference.

Dee is now 0-3 after starting 2-0, an all-too familiar situation for the 2018 champion. As for Commish, he won the battle but may have lost the war...

## Matchup Recap

* Paddock 9 recovers from a rough TNF start to take down arch enemy Pain Train (8-13). **Next Matchup: Week 12**
* The Multiverse of Mattness manages to escape by being slightly less shitty than a spiraling Sweet Dee (10-8). **Next Matchup: Week 10**
* Ma ma momma said remains hot by blowing out the winless Duck Punchers (7-13). **Next Matchup: Week 10**
* RIPDab splits the first double-header of the season by getting some revenge against previously undefeated Stupid Idiots (6-9). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* The Shotti Bunch explodes with the most points LOC has seen in a game since the 2021 playoffs in a beatdown of Papa's Posse (12-6). **Next Matchup: Week 13**

## Stat Chat

* Paddock 9 ties Duck Punchers for the second-longest win streak to start a season of all time (5 games). The record is held by RIPDab at 7 games (2013).
* The Shotti Bunch becomes the fifth team to break 300 points in four or more games.
* The Shotti Bunch logged the 8th-highest score in LOC history.
* The Stupid Idiots played their 100th game in week five, and finished with a combined record of 50-50.
* Duck Punchers is on their longest losing streak of all time (5 games).
* Through five games, Mattness has already surpassed their win totals from both the 2022 and 2020 seasons.
* This is the 13th-straight season for Papa's Posse with 4 or more losses.
* The Shotti Bunch has had blowout of the week in both of his wins, as well as one of his losses. He has been involved in the most lopsided matchups in three of the first five weeks.
* Mattness won in week five with the 8th-lowest point total for a winning team in the regular season in LOC history.

## Win/Loss Record Through 100 Games

You win some, you lose some. Especially if you're the Idiots. Not quite on the level of Duck and Shotti, but Idiots still made their mark through 100 combined games. They won a Glory Bowl and mdae another, and won more games than four other teams through this point in their careers.

## Longest Losing Streaks to Start a Season by Team - Updated

Sad to report this week that Duck Punchers, the all-time wins leader, is now on the longest losing streak to start a season since 2014, and the fourth-longest losing streak of all-time.

Things are looking up, though. This week they face a Jefferson-less Mattness team and after that they go up against Sweet Dee. If somehow they manage to lose both games, they face off against Paddock 9 for a chance to break the record of longest losing streak to start a season.

## Longest Winning Streaks to Start a Season by Team - Updated

Though Idiots' win streak came to an end, we are still tracking Paddock 9 to see if he can break the record for best start to a season. It is already the best start since 2013.

## This Time Last Year... (2022 Week Five Standings)

The bottom four teams from last year are currently the top four teams in 2023.

## Teams over 1,000 Through Five Week (2012-2023)

It felt like scoring was way down, so I went back to see how many teams had passed the 1,000 point mark by this point in the season.

This is the first time ever that less than 5 teams have failed to break 1,000 points through five weeks, and the first time that five or fewer have reached that milestone since 2015. On the other hand, Paddock 9 is currently pacing to break the single season scoring record with a whopping 1237.81 points, enough to beat the previous record of 1223.27 from 2016.

## Lowest Point Totals by a Winning Team

Already we have two of the lowest scores ever for a winning team, and we are five weeks into the season. First it was Sweet Dee in week 2, who got the win against Shotti with just 157.54 points. And then, oh how the turn tables. Sweet Dee was at the ass end of the matchup the second time around, getting beat by Mattness by a score of 154.86-140.89.

## Above and Below

A chart to track how many games above/below projections for each team.

## Absolute Standings

Absolute Standings tracks the standings if the top five scoring teams won every week regardless of matchup.

### 2023

So far the biggest discrepancy is Papa's Posse. They've been top five in scoring four times, yet only have one win to show for it.

## Trade Tracker

Starts (Paddock 9):

* 1

Starts (RIPDab)

* 2

So far so good for this trade, though RIPDab comes out with a huge edge if scoring stays comparable in this way. He is the one who moved up in the 2024 draft. What will be interesting to see is if this turns into more of a Deebo/Aiyuk marriage (some weeks Kupp goes off, some weeks Puka goes off) or a Tyreek/Waddle marriage (Tyreek is THE GUY, but Waddle still manages to get his most weeks).

## Power Rankings - Week 6

This week in the rankings I picked one player from the draft that was a HIT and another that was a MISS for each team. For this, I took away the obvious. Of course CMC as the frist overall pick was a hit. I'm talking about hidden gems. Late rounders that are producing like top-20 players, or maybe a risk in an early round that is paying off.

### 1(1). Paddock 9

* HIT: New Orleans Defense (155)
* MISS: Rashod Bateman (88)

Doesn't seem very flashy, but NO defense wasn't talked about the same way that Pitt, Buffalo, Dallas, or San Fran were coming into the season. But New Orleans is right up there with them, totalling 122 points so far this season. Not bad for the 7th defense taken. Bateman, on the other hand, was a misfire. Taken two picks before Hollywood Brown, P9 knew he fucked up because he came back in round 10 with Zay Flowers (a much better Baltimore WR). Still, to have to look 88 picks deep to find P9's first mistake is a huge accomplishment.

### 2(2). Ma ma momma said

* HIT: De'Vone Achane (130)
* MISS: DeVonta Smith (11)

Obviously a huge bummer that Achane is hurt and going to miss time, but he was also a key contributor to the massive early season turnaround that has momma back in the hunt for a repeat championship. But you gotta take DE good with DE bad. And while I wouldn't say DeVonta Smith is bad, you wouldn't be faulted for saying you DeVanted more from de 11th overall pick in the draft. He's ranked 23rd among all non-keeper WRs in the LOC in points scored thus far, below some guys who were free agents when the season began.

### 3(5). Duck Punchers

* HIT: Nico Collins (107)
* MISS: Aaron Jones (27)

I'm absolutely addicted to moving Duck up in the power rankings after every loss. It's not a troll job, I promise. I simply cannot believe that Duck is going to go down without a fight, especially now that he is coming back into full strength this week. Nico's stats are skewed by a 53.20 point game in week 4, but he has been a key part of a surprising offense in Houston, one that has CJ Stroud throwing for upwards of 300 yards every single week. On the other end, Aaron Jones seems to be an early mistake for Duck. Already fielding Mixon, Walker, and Etienne, Duck opted not to take Christian Watson, Drake London, or DJ Moore (three of the higher end WRs to go just after the pick). Instead he quadrupled down on RB and so far has not seen the necessary results.

### 4(3). The Stupid Idiots

* HIT: Sam LaPorta (152)
* MISS: Diontae Johnson (32)

It's honestly a stretch to say that Diontae was a miss, considering he got hurt in the first game and hasn't seen the field since. But the next closest thing to a "miss" would have to be Dalton Kincaid in the 13th round and at that point we're throwing darts, so a miss doesn't hit the same. For Idiots, the season has been all about injury. Injury to Barkley (1st rounder), Tee Higgins (2nd), Diontae (4th), Khalil Herbert (7th), Chubb (9th), and Richardson (10th). Of all those, Diontae has the best chance of coming back and not living up to his lofty 4th-round expectations. Meanwhile, look to the 16th round and you have the truly defining pick of his draft: Sam LaPorta. A player that is proving tight ends came have immediate impact in the league. Absolute steal of the draft thus far.

### 5(6). RIPDab

* HIT: Jordan Addison (80)
* MISS: Miles Sanders (46)

RIPDab has actually hit on several tier 3/4 players in this draft. Tyjae Spears is coming along, Jayden Reed in the 17th has proven to have some pop, and Gabe Davis is doing in 2023 what many expected from him in 2022. But Jordan Addison had weekly value even before the injury to Justin Jefferson? Now, he could be peppered with targets and has big play potential on every drive. Miles Sanders is now Millimeters Sanders. He looks terrible and is banged up. That section of the draft, from JK Dobbins to Sanders to Mike Williams, almost derailed the entire campaign for Dab.

### 6(4). Multiverse of Mattness

* HIT: Jakobi Meyers (119)
* MISS: Rhamondre Stevenson (22)

The tale of two Patriots, one who evacuated the blast area and another who is being buried under the rubble. Meyers may have missed a game and come up small in the contest without Jimmy G, but his three games with Garoppolo have been nothing short of boner-inducing. In a lineup that now lacks punch with the loss of JJ, Meyers needs to continue doubling up his projection to give Mattness a shot at playoffs. Four wins buys you nothing in LOC. Meanwhile, Rhamondre has been fucking tough to watch as a 3rd round pick that, at the time, had Commish literally cheering in his seat. And before anyone asks, Skyy Moore wasn't a miss. He just needs a little extra time to develop.

### 7(9). The Shotti Bunch

* HIT: D'Andre Swift (64)
* MISS: Ezekiel Elliot (117)

Similar to Monty, you gotta ask yourself what everybody was thinking by letting Swift drop to pick 64. Sure, he didn't get the start in week 1. But since then, he was been churning up yards, breaking 20 fantasy points in each of the last four weeks. And that's good, because Shotti's RBs are all a work-in-progress. Breece is coming along now that Salah has let him off the leash, and Alvin Kamara is easing back into things. But Zeke was a bust. Good for 6-10 touches a game combined (air and ground), Zeke is not a fantasy-relevant player in a 10-team league. What makes it even crazier is that he plays in a shitty offense, yet has no availability for me in any of my Yahoo leagues. People really do be convinced that the Patriots are somehow going to start gaining yards? Oh, and yeah, Justin Fields may be good again.

### 8(8). Papa's Posse

* HIT: David Montgomery (68)
* MISS: Cam Akers (48)

Hindsight is 20/20, and it's looking like Papa saw something nobody else did when he brought in the Mighty Monty in the 7th round. Pretty sure David was going in the 2nd or 3rd last year, but many believed Gibbs was going to take the starting role early in Detroit. Turns out Gibbs has little to Give so far. But it's a good thing he hit on Monty because two rounds earlier he fumbled the rock by taking Cam Akers, a player who performed so badly that he was cut from his actual team before anybody could drop him from a fantasy team. Papa's season is not over yet - nobody's is - but it will take continued success from Monty and his other big hit in the draft: Adam Thielen. Thielen was pick number 128 and is WR9 on the season.

### 9(10). Pain Train

* HIT: DJ Moore (36)
* MISS: Javonte Williams (65)

At this point I'm starting to doubt if it is ever going to happen for Javonte. He wasn't looking good before he got hurt, and then he got hurt and now McLaughlin is fucking stomping on dude's grave by showing tremendous ability. But if you like big plays, look no further than DJ Moore. Last season, DJ Moore's big OT touchdown against Paddock 9 knocked them out of the playoffs. This year, he almost cost P9 a perfect season. DJ Moore went bananas on TNF to the tune of 3 TDs, 230 yards, and 66.20 fantasy points. Justin Fields has a perfect passer rating this season when throwing to DJ Moore. He is a monster. But right now Pain Train is still just DJ One-And-Four.

### 10(7). Sweet Dee

* HIT: Brandon Aiyuk (41)
* MISS: Dalvin Cook (61)

Aiyuk should not have made it to pick #41. He was coming on late last season and has proven to be WR1 in early 2023 for a San Fran offense that is unstoppable until an inevitable injury bums out the entire fantasy world (because we cannot possibly have nice things). Dee has been able to roll out Aiyuk and CMC without issue so far. But it's been rough at RB for Dee outside of the obvious superhuman. First they lost Ekeler (coming back soon?), and then they took Dalvin Cook way early. Dalvin Cook has hit waivers in LOC and it would surprise me if anybody picked him up the rest of the way. He looks big time done. And Dee, she looks a little done too.

## Matchup of the Week: Diverging Roads (ma ma momma said vs. Pain Train)

This week we have a closely projected matchup for two teams heading in opposite directions. Despite his best effort, Pain Train is having trouble getting wins. Momma, on the other hand, is on the 2nd-longest win streak in the league. Momma may have seen the 9th-fewest points against through five weeks, but they are also 2nd in scoring, so if anything their record is worse than it should be.

Pain Train does not have the same luck. They have seen the 2nd-most poinst against and are just 7th in scoring. But they have the slight edge this week.

Pain Train is catching momma without James Connor and Achane, both being put on IR this week. And while PT will be without AJ Dillon and Najee Harris, it's hard to say either will be a noticable loss as both have underperformed this year.

Both teams have solid defensive matchups. Philly (MMS) will face NYJ and Buffalo (PT) will face NYG.

Things kick off TNF with Momma rolling out Patrick Mahomes and Pain Train hoping for a breakout game from Javonte Williams.

Any leftover business will carry over into Monday night, when momma will sit back and either watch Tony Pollard try to bring Pain Train back, or watch him bury put the icing on the cake of a much-needed Pain Train victory.

The last time these two teams met was in November of 2022, with momma winning by less than four points.

## Survivor Update - Week 5

No strikes this week as everybody picked either the Lions or the Dolphins. Shotti remains unscatched and picked Detroit in week five.

## Conclusion

I'm HOPING to start work in the next few weeks so these may end up getting a little shorter in the near future, but I'll remain strong and get you a writeup every week no matter what.