Menagerie

## Synopsis

### Part 1

Three days since the previous adventure have passed. Having to constantly deal with 200+ children from the orphanage packed together in the agency's office, the agency's members are exhausted. A variety of ways to quell the chaos, screaming and singing are tried. Dipshit protects kids from themselves. Roquefort Balboa wildshapes himself into a large dog to grab their attention. Vinegar Pimms applies psychology. Trenessa unleashes her parents' well-and-tried approach of yelling. None of this seems to solve the issues.

After almost flooding Allivand's pie shop with hungry children, Vinegar spots a poster for a zoo called *Tommy VinTaloo's Exotic and Endangered Creature Park and Dog University*. Stashing the 200+ singing children into the only two carts they have obtained from previous adventures, they decide to venture there.

### Part 2

After an eventful ride during which the stacking of children is discussed, Trenessa's history regarding her child-wish is explored and Vinegar is punched in the gentleman by orphan Bonnie Tyler, the detectives arrive at the zoo. Dipshit makes great use of the discount offered for groups (only having to pay for the first five children) and the horde of orphans enter the zoo.

Vinegar tries to give each kid two copper coins, but stops after the first six are eaten by orphan Smiggy Dinkel. Trenessa argues that Vinegar can't just give away the Agency's funds and reveals that she's already cutting his pay for comparable reasons, after which Vinegar tries to remind her that they are at equal level of authority within the agency, based on the fact that Gribbits approached them at the same time. Trenessa disagrees, after which the group splits up as Vinegar goes to get coffee.

Trenessa takes the orphans to see some vicious animals. Dipshit - who up to that point had one of the best days of his life - has to enter the enclosure of a griffon as the kid he rescued earlier (Monday Weekly) has snuck in. Meanwhile, Vinegar tries to understand why Deathlich and Roquefort wanted to take 200+ orphans to Quicklime House. They try to seek out Tommy Vin**T**aloo, the owner of the zoo, as they consider getting rid of the kids in the most humane way they can think of: abandoning them here.

As they find the office closed, they turn around and see a super short human (not a dwarf) with a big yellow hat and the rather unsettling sight of a large number of snake bodies huddled together in a snake mech. He utters a single line:

*"Hello, my name's Tommy!"*

### Part 3

Tommy turns out to be carried and assisted by the snakes, who make up his 'snake mech'. He doesn't like to call his zoo a zoo. He shows Vinegar and Roquefort a number of fascinating animal species making up the wildlife of Waterdeep such as the Moistened Panther, which is not dripping because it isn't wet but moistened. He then continues the tour in his golf buggy, which Tommy operates through his snakes.

Meanwhile, Dipshit manages to get Monday Weekly out of the enclosure whilst Trenessa tries to provoke the griffon by having all the children scream and even throwing a child (*Colorado Vinnamon*) into the enclosure as bait. The bushes shake, but Dipshit discovers there's a chain-smoking, shirt-less, kilt-wearing man inside instead of a griffon. He bolts it: the entire group (including the orphans) chases him until Trenessa tackles him. He shrieks that he was given 50 money to be in the enclosure and rustle the leaves.

Vinegar and Roquefort have many questions about the Alangator, an animal who builds furniture and smokes cigarettes. The smoking frustrates Tommy as the animals in the zoo seem to have a smoking problem (the questions only annoy Demi). Annoyed, he goes for a perimeter check with Meg, his assistant. Vinegar and Roquefort decide to follow him as something's fishy. Tommy stops his cart briefly at an enclosure of an owlbear, looks stressed, and leaves. Vinegar and Roquefort sneak in, finding no owlbear. Instead, they see cart tracks and footsteps leading to the back...

### Part 4

The kilt-wearing pervert (whose name is Malcolm) reveals not much else, other than that he was paid by hooded figures and tries to feed his family. When stating he has to go home, Dipshit tells him the zoo isn't closing for a few hours - ergo he has no other place to be. The man rolls a 13 and therefore Dipshit doesn't need to let him go. Orphan Siri has dislocated her arm and communicates this to Trenessa.

Vinegar and Roquefort, now fully on the case, find Tommy upset about his prized animal, the Quite Large Horse, being stolen. They decide to help him find his animal on the condition of 'an unspecified favor'. They learn a number of important details: guards should be patrolling the area but they aren't, enchantments were put in place to keep the enclosures closed yet those haven't worked, there are a large number of cart tracks and there are people hiding in the bush acting as animals.

The Agency regroups and lock the children in the griffon enclosure for safekeeping, except for Monday Weekly (clamped to Dipshit) and Sand kid (still spicing up Vinegar's coffee with sand). They find fresh cart tracks and discover hooded thieves trying to electrocute the griffon so it will enter a cart. Combat ensues in which Trenessa uses Malcolm as an improvised projectile; he gets under the griffon's hooves and is trampled to death. Dave rolls terribly and Vinegar nearly kills Sand kid by accident. One of the thieves is killed and the griffon - nearly out of control - calms down.

Tommy sees the remaining thieves escape with the Quite Large Horse which has his snake hair vibrate in panic. When the Agency checks on the only hooded figure they killed, he turns out to be wearing a helmet of the City Guard...

### Part 5

Tommy gathers some snakes to drive his own cart as the group takes time to gather some items to help stop the thieves. Monday Weekly tries to scream as loud as she can to fall asleep, but it turns out to be a bluff and she falls asleep. They chase after the escaping cart who's either 70 meters or 70 feet ahead - they settle on feet because D&D works with feet and not with meters which is kind of dumb.

Vinegar points out that he's bleeding badly due to the previous encounter - Trenessa and the others note it isn't the first time he's bleeding and stressed. Unable to get a reasonable word into the conversation, he retreats to the back of the cart and start skulking. But in a cool way. Also, it turns out he was brooding (not really) as he suggests throwing a log with Dipshit holding it to the cart (instead of a child which Trenessa suggested). Vinegar notes that this is a great idea as Dipshit has proven to be adept at killing people before; Dipshit denies this and states they are not willing to kill again.

Nevertheless, the plan is executed and Dipshit lands on the cart. He decides to drop down to the driver's seat and pull the only lever on the cart into one of 5 directions in an attempt to stop it. He pulls it down - this summons a massive boot attached to a spring, sending the cart flying. It snaps the driver's neck on landing, much to Dipshit's horror. He starts babbling as the rest of the group checks the back of the cart, slowly opening the door to check if the Quite Large Horse is still alive.

### Part 6

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## Key events

* The party tries to deal with 200+ loud children. By chance they spot a poster for a zoo and decide to head there.
* Vinegar tries to understand what Deathlich and Roquefort tried to achieve by taking in 200+ children.
* As Trenessa and Dipshit entertain the children, Vinegar and Roquefort seek out the owner of the zoo, who turns out to be a small man assisted by a bunch of snakes operating as a snake man.
* Tommy shows Vinegar and Roquefort around as Dipshit discovers there's no griffon inside the griffon enclosure, but a man paid to shake the bush.
* It turns out animals are disappearing. The detectives decide to help Tommy - in return, he has to accept an 'unspecified favor'.
* The detectives follow cart tracks and encounter hooded figures trying to load the griffon into a cart. They kill one of them and save the griffon, but the thieves escape with Tommy's prized animal, the Quite Large Horse.
* They chase after the thieves in a cart. Dipshit is thrown on top of the cart and manages to disable it, ending the chase and killing the driver.

## People

### Gribbits Detective Agency

* Roquefort Balboa
* Trenessa
* Vinegar Pimms
* Dipshit

### Non-Player Characters (NPC's)

* 200+ children of the orphanage, including three alligators. (Fuckendo, Monday Weekly, Sand kid, Bonnie Tyler, Smiggy Dinkel... some other ones)
* Tommy Vin**T**aloo, owner of *Tommy Vin**T**aloo's Exotic and Endangered Creature Park and Dog University*
* Malcolm, the bush-shaker and kilt-wearing 'pervert' man
* Hooded members of the City Watch

## Places

### Location unknown

* Tommy Vin**T**aloo's Exotic and Endangered Creature Park and Dog University

## Themes, tropes and running jokes

* Fantasy Version: Paw Patrol
* Trenessa and Vinegar both confess that they once wanted to have kids together and both believe the other is terrible at being a parent. Both Dipshit and Roquefort reply that it's "the worst idea [they've] ever heard".
* Dave not being the DM means that, as is tradition, he's being bullied for it.
* One of the kids somehow always has sand on them, even if there's no sand around. They actively follow Vinegar around to pour sand in his coffee.
* Demi nearly goes insane over no one acting on her plot hooks as especially Dave and Edan ask a lot of questions and inspect a large number of useless things.
* Dipshit again shows his paranoia over having to kill something or someone. When the griffon start rampaging out of control, they try their best to convince the kidnappers to help restrain the griffon. When it fails, they start crying and yell: "*I'm a murderer! They [The Agency's members] have forced me to kill and I will DO IT AGAIN!*".

## Trivia

* The party discusses a few ways to get rid of the orphans, including ditching them in a pie shop and selling them for profit. Eventually they hope they can leave the children with Tommy Vin**T**aloo, a zoo owner.
* Amongst the orphans are apparently three alligators.
* Dipshit having the best day of his life comes down to no one dying or having died (yet). That best day feeling ends when someone inevitably dies during the adventure.

## Quotes

* "You have this like *ley line* connection to the mind of every five year old." (Tom on how well Demi is able to role play how a kid thinks, part 1)
* "Calamari ho! Calamari hey! Calamari-calamari every single day!" (the song sang by the orphans)
* "It's kind of awkward [the situation] because Vinegar and I where going to have kids." - "That is the worst idea I've ever heard. I would legislate against either of you ever having children." (Trenessa and Dipshit, part 2)
* "This whole thing [about getting punched in the gentleman], it hurts but it's validating because... there was a time Trenessa and me thought we were going to have kids."- "Ohhh, no. That is the worst idea I've ever heard." (Vinegar and Roquefort, part 2)
* "It's Vin-TA-loo! Not Vindaloo!" (Demi telling Tom how you spell Tommy's last name. If you've visited this page before I added part 3, I also wrote Vindaloo. Sorry Demi. Part 3)
* "The man rolls a 13. You don't need to have him leave." (Demi checking if Tom has to let the kilt-wearing man go, part 4)
* "Good work Dipshit. I knew we could count on you." - "I didn't kill him! The upsell killed him!" (Vinegar and Dipshit after stopping the cart, part 5)
* "We all have portable holes, man! I'm walking around with my portable hole all the time!" (part 5)

## Table Talk

* Demi learns she's a mod of the Twitch channel. She decides to use her powers to ban Naomi.