2023 Power Rankings-Week 5

## Introduction

History has been made both at the top and at the bottom of the standings in the LOC.

At the top, it was Idiots vs. Mattness in a Glory Bowl matchup to determine which franchise would achieve their first 4-0 start in history. Idiots jumped out to an early lead on Thursday night after Romeo Doubs treated the football like Juliet and refused to let it go. As Sunday went on it became apparent that game script was not in Mattness's favor. Meyers was without his starting QB, Decoy Samuel was barely featured after returning from a rib injury, And Rhamondre Stevenson was Rarely SEENvenson doing anything of note while the Patriots were down big to Dallas. Thanks to Zach Wilson suddenly looking like Russell Wilson those three weeks in September of 2020 when Brian Schottenheimer let him cook, Garrett Wilson actually beat his projection and put Mattness in a deep hole. It all came Darren HitaWaller, who was at least so bad that it wasn't as excrutiating a MNF loss as is typical of fantasy. And so once again, Idiots triumphs over Mattness and remains undefeated despite all the odds stacked against him.

For those wondering, 4-0 Paddock and 4-0 Idiots face off in week 7.

At the bottom, Papa vs. Duck determined who would be 0-4 and who would have a semblance of hope in their season. Duck had never started 0-4, but Thursday night got off to a rough start. Aaron Jones struggled and Musgrave was hurt, leaving them under projection for the night. Meanwhile, Papa made a huge mistake by keeping David Montgomery not just on his bench, but in an IR spot! That meant his whole roster was frozen from add/drops for the rest of the weekend, and on top of that Monty dropped 48.63 points. Not a small number! And it was looking like that could come back to haunt them as Duck built a massive lead on Sunday thanks to 40.17 from Lamar and another 53.20 from Nico Collins. It was obvious that Papa needed something big to pop off, and finally it did. Isaiah Pacheco was looking like Isaiah Pachinko because he was bouncing all over the place on SNF against the Jets, rushing his way to 45.38 points.

Duck made a furious comeback on Monday night.

But it fell just short as Papa got the narrow victory to secure win #1 of the season. Meanwhile, ***Duck Punchers is on a four-game losing streak for the first time in franchise history.***

It was a fun week of action and we are less than 1/3rd of the way through the season. Still plenty of football left...

## Matchup Recap

* Paddock 9 continues his run of domination in a takedown of the well-performing Sweet Dee (11-6). **Next Matchup: Week 9**
* The Stupid Idiots wins their fourth straight, both in the season and in the series matchup, vs. an imperfect Mattness (7-4). **Next Matchup: Week 13**
* Ma ma momma said gets a win to remain the only team with a lifetime winning record vs. The Shotti Bunch (12-10). **Next Matchup: Week 11**
* RIPDab wins the 2022 Cinco De-Lose O rematch against a struggling Pain Train (12-9). **Next Matchup: Week 11**
* Papa's Posse ties up the W/L record in this storied rivalry with a narrow 2022 Salty Dolphin rematch victory vs. winless Duck Punchers (11-11). **Next Matchup: Week 11**

## Stat Chat

* Ma ma momma said has broken the record for most blowout wins in LOC history (22).
* The Stupid Idiots becomes the 10th team in LOC history to reach 50 combined wins.
* The Stupid Idiots becomes the 10th ream in LOC history to reach 40 regular season wins.
* This is the first time in their H2H history that the winner of Mattness vs. Idiots scored under 200 points.
* Duck Punchers has already matched their loss total from 2022 with their first four-game losing streak ever.
* Shotti has now had a losing streak of 3+ games in five of the last six seasons after never losing more than 2 straight in each of his first six seasons.
* RIPDab has surpassed the regular season win total of The Shotti Bunch for the first time since being overtaken in 2017.

## Most Weeks in Last Place

This is a rare enough event that it is worth throwing the chart in here, even though it's not breaking any records.

Duck Punchers is in last place for just the foruth week in LOC history.

## Longest Losing Streaks to Start a Season by Team - Updated

We have not had a losing streak longer than four games to start a season since 2014, when Mattness lost 7 straight to begin the year. Is Duck destined to put a mark in the wrong page of the history book? Stay tuned...

## Longest Winning Streaks to Start a Season by Team - Updated

Updated 10/4/23

With two teams at 4-0, each currently projected to win in week 5, there is a decent chance that we will see the first 5-0 team since 2013.

## This Time Last Year... (2022 Week Four Standings)

Duck and Shotti have had their records flipped in 2023, while Mattness, Paddock, and Mattness have all reversed their fortunes as well. It's worth noting that last year's champion, ma ma momma said, began the year 1-3.

## Above and Below

A chart to track how many games above/below projections for each team.

## Absolute Standings

Absolute Standings tracks the standings if the top five scoring teams won every week regardless of matchup.

### 2023

It's not a good sign that Duck Punchers has exceeded their projection three times, yet has only been in the top 50% of scores once. It shows that even when they perform above expectation, they are still not strong enough to compete with the majority of the teams in this league.

It's also telling that Idiots is 4-0 despite a 2-2 absolute record, indicating that he is on a matchup-based win streak. Idiots is 9th in the league in points against.

## Trade Central

This week we had our first trade of 2023 and it was a shocker.

Nate received a 3rd round pick *AND* the current frontrunner for offensive rookie of the year Puka Nacua. The sensation of the season has already broken the record for most receptions in a players first five games...and he's only played four games. The upgrade at the WR position had a direct effect on his matchup vs. Pain Train this week, helping to contribute to a narrow win. But there is a caveat...

Paddock 9 received a 6th round pick and Cooper Kupp, Nate's first round pick this season. So for sacrificing a 3rd in 2024, Paddock has inherited the 6th overall selection in the 2023 draft. But the risk is huge. Cooper Kupp is expected back this week or next, but his health throughout the season is going to be one to monitor. It's safe to assume that he will fit right into the Nacua role in the offense, since the Nacua role is actually just the Kupp role. That would mean 10-15 targets a game.

The winner of this trade is impossible to know. If Puka Nacua is the real deal than he should still cash in when his role gets reduced. A floor of 7-10 targets a game should still give him a floor of 5-7 catches and then whatever he does with those catches. But should Nate have held out another week and seen what his first round pick could do, or was it a genius move to pull the plug while Kupp's value was still worth a 3rd for next year? After all, Nate doesn't get the win this week if not for Puka's 38.90 points. If Nate gets a pick upgrade and a player upgrade, it would be one of the biggest trade miscues of Paddock 9's franchise career. The "best" case scenario for these two teams is that both Kupp and Nacua put up decent numbers and they all live happily ever after.

### Most Trades Completed

Pat extends a lead on the most trades completed and it really isn't close, nor will it ever be close. Most shocking is Shotti, who has only completed a single trade in his 11 full years in the league.

### Partners in Crime

NOTE: Joke trades are not tabulated (i.e. 13th for a 13th to start the season).

## Power Rankings - Week 5

And just like that all the safe weeks are behind us. From now until playoffs we will have to contend with the dreaded bye weeks.

### 1(1). Paddock 9

No Puka, no problem. The PAINsylvania due of Hurts and Brown combined for 99.06. Throw in a 50 from Diggs and that combined score of 149.06 would have been enough to beat Shotti's entire team this week. Now that Dameon Pierce is heating up, it is hard to find a weak spot on this entire roster. And it could get even better of Cooper Kupp reaches his potential.

### 2(4). Ma ma momma said

Such a shame. I was another loss away from being able to do the "ma ma momma...dead?" joke, but no. Ass hole has to go and perform well each of the last two weeks and now I'm starting to wonder if he is destined for another improbable run. James Conner was the only player to not break 10 points in the starting lineup, and taking AChance on Achane looks to be paying off. Couple questions: is Patrick Mahomes going to be superstar good this season, or will having a limited WR corp cap his potential? Is Ja'Marr Chase going to be chasing his pro-bowl output all season, or will Burrow get it together? And what is up with Derrick Henry? How much of his fate rests in the incompetent hands of Ryan TannOverTheHill?

### 3(5). The Stupid Idiots

When the stars don't shine, the best of the rest need to step up. And that's what happened. Bad day for Tua, good day for Romeo Doubs. Bad day for Tee Higgins, good day for...Riley Patterson? Idiots left 127.03 points on his bench, so his optimal lineup would have smoked Mattness this week. But the RB room is still in turmoil. James Cooked, but Roschon was not Rosching the ball well at all. To be winning without Barkley means good things for locking up a playoff spot early.

### 4(2). Multiverse of Mattness

Mattness overhauled his entire bench after a tough loss on Monday, and that included saying goodbye to the (soon to be) great Skyy Moore. Mattness is also ready to quit on Darren Faller and Elijah Less, bringing in FA talents Jake Ferguson and Mike Wiiiilsooon. How much their success from week 3 translates to the rest of the season remains to be seen, but if they can upgrade the bench than this team will be able to right the ship.

### 5(3). Duck Punchers

Duck has ripped off win streaks of four games or more 8 times in 12 seasons, so to call his 0-4 start insurmountable would be underestimating a very dangerous regular season team. That said, one of the scariest things to do is start winless through the four non-bye weeks, when your team is at maximum strength and health. The margin of error is shrinking and he will have to find it within himself to go 7-3 the rest of the way to have a shot at the playoffs.

### 6(9). RIPDab

Won the game despite Jordan Addison not catching a pass and a combined 6.3 from his keepers. They may want to change his name to Dallas GoeDIRT because it looks like his fantasy relevance is dead and buried. He ranks below Kyle Pitts in FPG and has yet to break 50 yards in a contest. Dab's bench is filled with handcuffs. Zach "fine wine" Chardonnay, Jaylen "better than Najee" Warren, and Tyjae Spears (nickname pending) are all waiting for a starter to slip up, but with bye weeks coming it will take more than a fleet of mediocre runningbacks to win.

### 7(8). Sweet Dee

Joe Burrow sucks, but all Dee has to do is press the CMC button and everything is fine. MANdrews was looking good against Cleveland, Williams is the real deal in LA, and Aiyuk has been AiJUKING motherfuckers all season long. It's a good roster, but they need to survive one more week without Austin Ekeler and are facing off against arch rival Mattness this week.

### 8(10). Papa's Posse

One win doesn't get you anything in the regular season, but a win over the guy directly above you in the standings is never a bad thing. It was a good W for Papa, who has a chance to leap up another spot by taking down 8th-place Shotti. Like many of us, TE is an issue and it looks like it might be Higbee time. At this point a lot of stock is being placed in the Rams offense across this league, and it will be interesting to see how their overall health and tough division influences things down the road.

### 9(6). The Shotti Bunch

Two games over 200 and two games under 150. What is this team? It's hard to truly know because it is still being built. Alvin Kamara beat projection in his first game back, and now Jameson Williams returns to action. Shotti has been treating his roster like a dynasty roster, holding on to three suspended players over the last year+, a strange strategy that might pay off if everybody returns to form. It's already worked with Calvin Ridley, who is turning into one of the best 16-round picks in LOC history.

### 10(7). Pain Train

It's been mostly Pain for the Train, who has one big game buried amongst three sub-190 performances. Not the best time to be going up the last two LOC champions in back-to-back weeks, starting with the 2023 scoring leader and long-time rival Paddock 9. A lot rides on if DJ Moore can drop the needle on the Commanders Thursday night, and if Davante can return to form on Monday with Jimmy G back under center.

## Matchup of the Week: The Get-Right Game (Sweet Dee vs. Mattness)

While I usually don't like to put the same team in back-to-back matchups of the week, and I especially don't want any unnecessary focus on me and my dumb team, this is a pressure point with a massive primetime showdown in the LOC for week five.

Sweet Dee vs. Mattness is a closely contested contest, at 8-9 all-time, and is a rematch of the disputed Heart and Soul Bowl from last season.

Both teams started out hot but are coming off losses in close games. Sweet Dee over-performed by couldn't muster enough strength to take down Paddock 9, while Mattness started 3-0 but dropped a turd in week four to notch his first loss of the season.

While Dee will not get Ekeler back, Mattness also takes a hit because he is without star QB Justin Herbert. Instead it will be rookie CJ Stroud making his first start in the LOC.

But matters will come to a head in primetime on Sunday Night Football. Mattness rolls out Deebo, hoping to be recovered from a rib injury that kept him limited in week 4. He'll also debut Jake Ferguson at TE over the benched Darren Waller, and his second kicker of the year in Jake Moody. Sweet Dee will counter with Brandon Aiyuk, the Hutch to Deebo's Starsky. Usually only one does well in each given week. Most importantly, it will be CMC looking for a fifth straight game over 30 fantasy points. He seems impossible to stop, but he has yet to face a defense like Dallas.

While those are the last players to go for Dee, Mattness will have a chance to make up any deficit on Monday night when he rolls the dice with Jakobi Meyers.
Both teams are right there in the playoff hunt but nobody wants to extend a losing streak.

## Survivor Update - Week 4

Nobody eliminated this week, but Pat got his first strike by forgetting to make a pick.

Shotti is still perfect after selecting the Eagles in the rogue Survivor league.