Trexel Geistman

Fanart by Reefsharkivist

**Trexel Geistman** (ID 362884) is a citizen employee of Stellar Firma Ltd. He is the heir to a large inheritance from his immensely neglectful parents. Due to Stellar Firma's deeply corrupt nature, he is regularly given high power positions at the company, and very little reprimanding considering the severity of his actions and the rate at which Stellar Firma regularly disposes of people.

## Personality

Trexel is an egomaniac and alcoholic. Due to the abuse he suffered as a child he cannot form meaningful relationships, believing that anyone he loves will be taken away from him like Percy. He is obsessed with portraying strength, refusing to give ground or show kindness in case it is used against him. He is often hysterical and prone to shouting and crying fits, which may be due to the fact that he is very rarely sober. He also frequently breaks out into song.

Trexel's bravado is largely an act, and deep down he is aware of his own ineptitude. He has claimed he is afraid of going back to therapy (he has been to cognitive behavioural therapy sessions in the past but refuses to discuss it) and making changes to himself. This is because even though he doesn't like who he is now, he's afraid that he'll work hard to change, and end up becoming someone he doesn't like. He desperately wishes he was someone else, "someone that mattered" and believes that all existence is pointless. Trexel ties his identity as a person to his job, and is resistant to change.

Trexel is rather incompetent. On a surface level this seems to be due to stupidity, but may actually be a matter of Trexel applying himself to a task. When he wants to, he can be incredibly effective and efficient (for example, having passed a pilot’s licence test.)  His addictions also heavily impede his cognitive abilities, as well as flashbacks to his traumatic childhood. He also sees past Board propaganda and is entirely aware of their malevolence and the fact that it is a near inescapable and entirely unjust system, which is a major source of depression for him.

## Appearance

Trexel has three blue nipples, incredibly upsetting matted chest hair and large hairy hands. At some point, he had gills surgically grafted under his armpits to prevent drowning in alcohol. These gills also include 4 tongues and he can drink out of them. He once referenced having "another nose" although this may have been his attempt to describe having two nostrils. He can contort his body in various upsetting ways, such as twisting his spine. He is described as "soft" in texture when someone runs into him, which could imply his weight. Trexel has a very distinctive fashion sense, having worn plaid trousers with 8 pockets, onesies, three pairs of sunglasses simultaneously, and multicoloured wigs, which he bathes in. He also carries a satchel, wherein he kept his Graph Friend, his fish, and something that made a squeaking sound. Hartro once described him as looking "like a worm", whereas Trexel described himself as "tall". Both of these are probably untrue. It has been confirmed via Word of God that Trexel is blessed with a gracious behind.

## Season 1

Having previously worked sales, he was re-assigned to Planetary Design following certain lacklustre performances. Trexel finds himself, assumedly for the first time since Percy, in the company of a long-term Clone, which he goes through stages of taunting, stating his authority and superiority over, and professing his affection for, although generally being upbeat about the state of his employment since David's arrival, as (through David's intervention) he has been reaping massive gains.

This eventually comes to an end when, in a fit of rage, Trexel steals the brief they're meant to fill, which incites a trial. Upon realizing what he's done, he appoints himself as David's lawyer and calls "Swapsies", relinquishing his access to The Cosmic Lounge, and saving David from being recycled.

## Season 2

Trexel is moved back to the Sales Department (and takes up drinking at The Astral Bar) much to his glee, wherein he proclaims that he will train David 7 in his particular brand of sales: Trexel Geistman's Ten Steps to Sales Domination. This spells trouble, however, because it now means that Trexel is in direct contact with clients. Predictably, he makes no sales, even with David 7's intercession. When Hartro finds this dissatisfactory, she is unable to cope with his incompetence anymore, and designs several "training exercises" intended to kill him and David.

I.M.O.G.E.N. saves him and David by exporting them through a chute into the Expediting office, wherein Trexel is demoted to an Expeditor, to his horror. He is unable to find his way back to his quarters and has spent his nights at The Asteroid Booth, convinced his career is over, until Hartro informs him he is on "The Executive Track" which reignites his *passion for his work* until Episode 48, when he promptly became a resident of the vents. He later becomes lost somewhere in Filing with David.

## Trexel Geistman's Ten Steps to Sales Domination

1. Determination: Shouting
2. Understanding the Client: Exploit their weaknesses
3. Customer Empathy: Understanding the client's feelings in order to exploit them
4. Problem Solving: Ignore the problem
5. Confidence: I am never wrong
6. Emotional Leverage: Convince the client that you're dying and that this is your dying wish
7. Curiosity: Spy on the client to find their faults
8. Narrative Creativity: Lie to create a fantasy world in which you can coexist
9. Schmoozing: Emotional abuse and bribery
10. Closing: Threats

## Season 3

David's place has been up and running for a week and a half now, and Trexel has been in the vents. Back at the cafe he has been tasked with the job of "Sink Chancellor" which is just a fancy name given to plongeur so Trexel will take the job but of course since his ego is extremely inflated, he sees it as beneath him and does not want to accept it.

Trexel attempts to convince David to close it down and suggests they find somewhere more long term to hide. Trexel even goes so far as to tear up David's business plan and suggests working for the Department of Planetary Public Permits and Bribery. This all leads to an argument between the two where David suggests Trexel go on without him and tells him he isn't a consultant anymore. This causes Trexel to have an identity crisis and retreat to the vents once again. Trexel upon return proclaims he's speaking to Fernsworth in the Saborage and Espionage Department and that he is going to become a spy. Later, Hartro arrives and she's got a gun (made of paper) and Trexel has no issue going with her and abandoning his spy dream.

Now working in management consultancy, Trexel has a renewed sense of self and his ego is once again inflated as he remains on the executive track. Trexel briefly takes interest in communism but it's very clear his research was poorly executed and he abandons the belief very quickly in favor of his own ideology, Trexolianism, later referred to more permanently as Trexology.

## Relationships

### David 7

He and Trexel have a tenuous "friendship" (once said by Trexel that they are "the best of friends") which makes up the main dynamic for the show. David harbours a lot of anger for Trexel due to his apparent apathy towards his job and the way he endangers David's life. David has resorted to manipulating Trexel with false praise and deceit to stay alive, but does give Trexel credit for small acts of kindness, and shows regret for having to manipulate someone who is obviously deeply troubled. There have been fluctuations in exactly how much they put up with each other, sometimes barely being able to stand to be in the same room, while sometimes showing legitimate thought and care for the other, like when Trexel wanted to encourage David's poetry by bringing him books or playing it aloud at The Astral Bar. Trexel sees David as a child, referring to him as "innocent" and intentionally protecting him from information that he thinks would be too much for him. He desperately seeks David's approval and attention.

### Bathin

Bathin and Trexel were "friends" (Trexel's words) in school together, with Bathin allegedly attempting to befriend him and Trexel rebutting him (most likely because he was sent off to school with Bathin directly after losing Percy). On a different occasion, Bathin allegedly dangled him out an airlock until he turned blue, leading to Trexel's dislike of him. Tim has stated that it's entirely possible Bathin never bullied him, but because of Trexel's severe disconnect with reality couldn't actually fathom that someone was nice to him and had delusions that he was being mistreated.

### Hartro Piltz

Hartro has been Trexel's manager for several years, which has lead to her brusque attitude, disappointment, and harsh punishment of Trexel and his associates, most notably her habit of putting her bare feet in his mouth, and her botched attempt to kill him out of frustration with his work. She has stated that she "won't miss him when he's gone" and finds it physically difficult to praise him.

### I.M.O.G.E.N.

She has an oddly specific (if not out of character) personal dislike for Trexel, antagonising him and focus testing to find hurtful nicknames to call him. She has no qualms about killing him.

### Percy

Percy and Trexel were childhood friends, despite Percy belonging to him. Trexel's parents reaction to finding this out was incredibly negative, shouting in an outburst, presumably to their staff, "That's below the station of a Geistman! Take the clone away! Take them away and stick the boy in school! So he can learn to be proper!" and so Percy was taken away from Trexel for their familiarity. Thus bloomed Trexel's complicated and dysfunctional feelings about clones, claiming that he doesn't want to get close out of fear that people he loves will be taken from him. Trexel describes his relationship with Percy as "codependant" and "not helpful". Trexel has also stated that he loved Percy. They used to play together setting up little mock theatre productions.

### The Geistmans

Trexel's (now deceased) parents were not the type of people that should've had children. He does not hate them, still having a picture of his father hung in his bedroom, as well as calling their treatment of him "willful neglect at worst", but still doesn't respect them. They were incredibly emotionally distant since he was born, both of them being too consumed with work (his mother was a senior consultant) and loathing for each other to care for a child, so he was taken care of mostly by staff. At some point during his childhood, his father left his mother, which Trexel blames on her obsession with appearances. Since birth they taught him to believe that his genealogy made him superior, while on a personal level belittling him, which has led to the snapping back and forth between these two extremes in his self image on a day to day basis in his adult life.

Several mentions are made of the way Trexel was berated when he lived with his parents, including being blamed for their divorce, being constantly belittled (with his father once threatening to eat him), and being forced to put coins down his windpipe, thrown into a canal to drown, etc. The first (and only) friend he'd ever had was taken from him, and he was made to feel deviant for this. He was sent off to school quickly after, partially to destroy his passion for acting. When Trexel was nine years old, he was moved into a separate house from his parents, with no staff, where he had to fend for himself. Before his mother died, Trexel was with her, and all she would talk about is the way that he was dressed and how much she didn't like it, before passing away. Trexel realises that she never told him she loved him. The influence he inherited gets him pretty far, but not without earning the ire of his coworkers, as Hartro has stated was partially her motivation for attempting to kill him.

### Paradrak Ngelion

Trexel had a short lived parasocial friendship with Paradrak. He professed his love for them upon first meeting them and afterwards he would go to the Astral Bar and pretend to be drinking with them. Trexel even went as far to claim he was going to start a business with Paradrak, an idea which quickly died as David 7 brought him back to reality.

## Trivia

* Trexel has "relationships" with a broom from The Astral Bar, and a deceased fish that he keeps in his room. He at first believed the broom to be a tall, attractive man, but continued to pursue it after realising it was an inanimate object. He also has claimed to be "in a relationship with himself"
* Trexel is frequently unsure of his species, his status as a living person, and how to spell his own name.
* Trexel has admitted to hearing voices, as well as several times showing delusions of grandeur (seeing himself as a literal god, as a saviour, and as the most important person of all time), and episodes of extreme mood swings between a manic high and depressive lows. He engages in attention seeking behavior and puts himself in danger when he feels neglected. He is also stated to have a persecution complex.
* Trexel once voided his bowels purely from listening to music.
* Although Trexel makes various sexual innuendos throughout the series he is implied to be a virgin or at least very inexperienced.
* Trexel's fondness for The Face most likely comes from his parents comparing him to them, and the face living the life Trexel always wanted as a child, as a beloved actor.
* Trexel became a salesman directly out of graduating from his education, and has been working various positions at Stellar Firma ever since.
* Trexel has committed multiple murders, claiming to have gone into a fugue state for some, but not all of them. He once killed several actors when he was in sales training, as he was convinced they were not real people. He has, however, never been convicted. This is most likely on account of his status as opposed to him being somehow clever enough to outwit I.M.O.G.E.N.
* Trexel hates banjo music, and vastly prefers "shrill" violins.
* Trexel is under a restricted travel order, implying he is in legal trouble, possibly having to do with the several murders he is suspected of. He is also on several security watchlists.
* Trexel briefly was addicted to drinking moisturizer.
* Trexel believes the truest form of art is music, and has always wanted to be a dancer, or an actor. Relating to this, he has written a screenplay with a character named Dominic Quailface that has at least 16 acts. He's also written several more traditional plays that take a lot of inspiration from the works of Shakespeare.
* Relating to this, it appears that Trexel has been educated on a surface level about the works of Shakespeare, often misquoting them but able to give a lot of correct information about the playwright given his insobriety.
* Trexel may have started at least four wars.
* Trexel is banned from every single bar on Stellar Firma to his knowledge, except for The Astral Bar and The Asteroid Booth. He is also banned from the Stellar Firma Ltd. Intergalactic Space Ball after climbing nude into the punch bowl and threatening those around him with a ladle.
* Trexel has also brought chickens to a party. Party Foul/Fowl.
* Trexel nearly always shows up to work exactly 7 and 1/2 hours late, which is suspiciously formulaic for an alcoholic who has claimed many, many times that he doesn't understand a schedule.
* Trexel does not noticeably breathe while he is sleeping, because he thinks breathing is for time wasters and the weak.
* Trexel has a tracker embedded somewhere in his body, placed there by Hartro Piltz.
* Trexel, while having done psychedelic drugs, has quit smoking. We can only assume this is to protect his wonderful voice. Or perhaps because smoking while on a spaceship could potentially ignite the oxygen supply.
* The Geistman family were on the first ship off Earth, which is how they earned their place in Stellar Firma.
* Trexel’s full name is Trexel K.G.K. Geistman
* Trexel is the "vent postman"
* Trexel has put coworkers in a cupboard.
* Trexel hates dinosaurs, believing them to be "nature's failures", elaborating further to say "who would love a failure?"
* Trexel claims he has no subcutaneous tissue but this is almost definitely false
* According to Ben, if Trexel were an animal he would be a very angry crab. (Acts on instinct, sidles a lot of places, quite bitey, and when you crack through his hard shell he has a soft and gooey interior)
* Gimble Hulk and the Probe-Knowers is his favourite band, and they were murdered by the lead singer of The Winter Lettuce Collective as a punishment by Hartro after Trexel was late to work.
* Trexel is apparently physically incapable of closing his eyes
* Trexel went through "upwards of 762 clones" in the year before recycling David-5 which is "more than one a week in the Stellar Firma Annual Branded Cycle" and has gone through entire lines of clones that have never been used by anyone else before simply because of the rapidity at which he wastes them.
* Trexel's sales tips and knowledge are heavily influenced by Tim's real life experience working for a series of shady businesses in his early 20s.
* Trexel did not attend higher education, but the primary school he went to was a high end institution for those born into wealth.
* There is a "Geistman Countermeasure" programmed into I.M.O.G.E.N. that includes 3-D printing "attractive cleaning utensils and marine life"
* Trexel, after getting his license suspended, stole a shuttle and took a joyride, eventually crashing it into a sun, after which had to fill in as an Agony Aunt.
* Trexel eats in a disgusting manner.
* Trexel lost all his passes on "day two".
* There is a popular cocktail named after him, known as the Dirty Trexel. He has never tried one, and it is unknown the ingredients of the drink.
* Trexel is credited as "writing the theme" to Timebots, a show David 7 creates as an extracurricular activity.
* Trexel is banned from taking out insurance due to the high likelihood of this leading to him committing arson more regularly. I.M.O.G.E.N has stated that this is a genuine security concern.
* Trexel has been known to drink antifreeze.
* Trexel considers himself an "empath" and claims to be able to feel other people's emotions. David 7 has expressed that this is highly unlikely.

## Quotes

"Look, unless a T. rex comes here and does a T-flex, I'm not gonna respect it."

"Turn the buzzsaw back on! I don't want to live if I'm not the centre of attention!"

"If wishes were horses, Trexel would ride!"

"Well, I would describe myself as a sort of a— a design maverick, and a liar! An absolute liar! I should know, because I'm lying right now. Or am I? Ha ha, gotcha. Or did I? I'm in a bush."

## References

1. ↑ Episode 46 - Gonk and Grandiosity

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2. ↑ Episode 45 - Cages and Connivance

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3. ↑ Episode 69 - Posturing and Proliferation (acast)
4. ↑ Episode 70 - Self Assessment and Self-Advancement
5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 Episode 48 - Faces and Aces

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6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 Episode 12 - Denizens and Goobrication

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7. ↑ 7.0 7.1 7.2 7.3 Episode 3 - Gods and Trousers

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8. ↑ Episode 16 - Puppets and Partnerships

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9. ↑ Episode 41 - Exile and Expediting

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10. ↑ 10.0 10.1 10.2 10.3 10.4 Episode 10 - Tokens and Orphans

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11. ↑  https://twitter.com/StellarTim/status/1361642414851715075
12. ↑ 12.0 12.1 12.2 Episode 25 - Trials and Termination

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13. ↑ Season 1 Teaser

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14. ↑ Episode 31 - Shells and Shame

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15. ↑ 15.0 15.1 15.2 15.3 Season 2 Q&A
16. ↑ Episode 4 - Bowels and Dogs

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17. ↑ Episode 21 - Literature and Life Lessons
18. ↑ Episode 42 - Push Ups and Privilege

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19. ↑ Episode 36 - Spies and Subterfuge

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20. ↑ Episode 15 - Moisturiser and Measures

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21. ↑ Episode 18 - Star Theft and Star Marlins

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22. ↑ Episode 14 - Seals and Accountants

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23. ↑ Episode 5 - Fear and Feet

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24. ↑ Episode 43 - Detectives and Detonations

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25. ↑ Episode 7 - Trash and Mysteries

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26. ↑ 26.0 26.1 Episode 38 - Muscles and Moral Egotism

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27. ↑ Episode 52 - Games of Spies and Guns of Paper
28. ↑ Episode 30 - Logic and Line Managers

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29. ↑ Exit Interviews of Davids 4-5

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30. ↑ Episode 40 - Grudges and Gauntlets

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