Kaylinn

**Kaylinn**, also known as Kaylinb, is a young female sentient potato with hair and legs. She is the main character of the *Kaylinn the Potato* graphic novel series. Kaylinn has a killer’s instincts, and is extremely bloodthirsty, as she kills for pure enjoyment.

## Appearance

Kaylinn appears as a potato (duh) with a face and arms that she stole from Senan, who is also a potato, and legs that she took from Hannah. She has very long sticking-up hair that was robbed from 750 different people. She also has several invisible scars from being hit by bricks.

## Personality

She does not have much of a personality-- very bloodthirsty and she loves cats. Her best friend is probably Hannah or Cara, even though Hannah has tried to kill her several times.

## Biography

### Kaylinn the Potato

When Pepe tries to turn **Kaylinn** into a potato, his machine backfires and turns *him* into a potato instead. However, Kaylinn and Pepe are both struck by lightning, turning Kaylinn into a potato and Pepe back to a human. His goal accomplished, Pepe then eats Kaylinn.

Unfortunately she doesn't taste nice so he spits her mangled form back out. Kaylinn goes to Tesco to get a new face, but is stopped by the Tesco Manager who tells her that they don't serve ugly peeps. Kaylinn still manages to purchase Senan, who is also a potato, and peels his face off. She sticks his face, some of his hair and one of his arms onto her.

Now that she only needs legs, Kaylinn visits Hannah and uses a knife to cut her legs off. However, Hannah calls on her MWRK (Magical Winged Regeneration Kitty) and uses it to regenerate her legs. Kaylinn is angered and so shoots down the MWRK with an arrow. Meanwhile, Thing is making her first appearance as a lamp.

Now Kaylinn only needs hair, so she goes to Pepe's first house. She picks the lock and sneaks inside to see Pepe dancing around in his study and singing. As Kaylinn watches, Beth jumps out and tries to kill Pepe but Pepe kills her and disposes of her body parts in tar.

Kaylinn jumps out and stabs Pepe, stealing some hair at the same time. Pepe crawls over to the cupboard and gets two objects-- an elixir of life and a mug. He throws the mug at Kaylinn (who yells "Who mugged me?!?") and drinks the elixir of life. Kaylinn says that she switched it for hot sauce but Pepe says that he switched it back, steals back ALL of Kaylinn's hair, and kicks her out.

Kaylinn decides top pay Charlie a visit, so she goes to his house, which is covered in Mars Bar graffiti (Charlie loves Mars Bars). She asks his mum where he is and she says that he is at an MB protest. Kaylinn steals Charlie's Mum's hair and then goes to find Charlie, because she is in love with him.

Charlie is in a Mars Bar protest when Kaylinn finds him. When Kaylinn tells him about what she has done so far, he is so angry about her ripping off Senan's face that he throws a brick at her face and steals ALL of her hair.

Kaylinn now goes to see Hannah, who has fallen down a manhole, and was offered help by Sewer Blobbin. She hops away really fast yelling "Hell No!" She then continues to hop until she pops up out of a manhole on the other side of town, where the wounded MWRK lies. Hannah gets it to restore her leg, and then walks over to Kaylinn and throws a brick in her face.

Kaylinn decides to go on a hair spree, since she now has none. She robs a tiny bit of hair from 750 heads, but rejects Zombie Beth's wig. She realizes that she has not yet robbed a spiritual dude called The Hairmaster, and so goes there but his stopped by Hannah, who jumps in front of her and shouts "HI KAYLINN OMG," leaving The Hairmaster with time to teleport away.

After that she goes to the Chicken Nugget Shop, which is run by Bob and Alexandru. She buys 50 chicken nuggets before asking where Alexandru was. When she finds out that Alexandru was slaughtering chickens, she goes into his massacre chamber to confront him by knocking him over into the lava that he was using to roast chickens. At that moment, Aidanbursts in through the window and yells "Fear me! I can control chickens!" After Kaylinn insults him he helps Kaylinn kill Alexandru, for he had drank an elixir of life from Pepe and now had ninety lives. In conclusion, they torture him with a torture rack and thumb screws and the chickens' beaks. When he only has one life left, Aidan pushes Alexandru into the lava and all except for his face and one of his eyeballs disintegrates. Bob now pushes open the door and screams "AAAAA TOO MANY CHICKENS"

Aidan then gets a chicken to carry Alexandru's face to Senan, who is sitting in the sewers with Sewer Blobbin saying Bart (a feeling word) as Carmen runs by above. The chicken drops the face through the grille, making it fall onto Senan's face. Senan, who is now happy, decides to leave.

Outside the Chicken Nugget Shop Kaylinn runs into Hannah who has taken up murdering now that Alexandru is dead. However, while Hannah talks, Kaylinn makes a cardboard cut-out of herself and runs away. Hannah pursues her on her MWRK.

Kaylinn runs to the Horse Racing place, but finds Hannah already there, having killed all of the horses and people. Kaylinn is so angry and sad that she takes out a pistol and shoots Hannah in the shoulder. However, Hannah is revealed to be Sean wearing a bobblehead, and the MWRK is actually a cleverly disguised meat dragon. Kaylinn asks him where he got the bobblehead, and Sean answers that he got it in Hannah Con. When Kaylinn says "Why does that exist?!? That's stupid! Nobody like Hannah! Everyone loves me!" Then Hannah shows up and asks Sean why he has a bobblehead. Kaylinn starts to grow impatient and so shoots Sean in the head, this time killing him.

Sean’s Granny sees this happening and yells at Kaylinn that she has killed her grandson. She chases after Kaylinn with a knife, but Kaylinn sees Pepe on his pet Cloud. She shouts up to Pepe to save her, but once she gets on, he pushes her off again.

Kaylinn lands on a ginormous trampoline on top of a shop named Trampolines-R-Us, and bounces onto smaller and smaller trampolines until she has stopped bouncing (and stopped screaming). Then Alexandru’s Gnost appears before her, but she stabs it with a knife, which makes it poof out of existence. Unfortunately, Sean’s Granny and the rest of Sean’s family catch up with her and she runs some more. She eventually ends up in a shady alleyway, where Tommy’s robot workshop is.

A few minutes later, Kaylinn has been strapped to a table by Tommy, who plans to turn her into a robot. However, Kaylinn manages to sneak off as Tommy is prepping the machine. She sneaks up behind him and shoots him several times, as well as setting him on fire. Within minutes he is nothing but a pile of charred bones. It was around then that Sean’s Granny and her newly-obtained followers catch up with Kaylinn, so Kaylinn is forced to run away at top speed. She catches air currents and zips away at 500km/h, before smacking into a wall in another town. She was going so fast that she smashed straight through it. Kaylinn gets up, groaning, with a heavily bruised face. Suddenly, a strange, alien-like creature enters the scene, and proclaims “Meep.” Kaylinn asks who he is, but it seemed that he can only respond with meep. She leaves and decides to walk to the nearest shop to get face-cream for her bruises, before realising that the creature, who’s name is Weird Guy, somehow stole her wallet.

## Quotes

“Why does that exist?!? Nobody likes Hannah! Everyone likes me!”

“Mwahaha! Prepare to be peeled, Senan!”

“HOW CAN I LOVE A TORTOISE?!?”

“Uh.. CUZ I WAS BEING A KAYLINN!”

“OW! Why does everyone carry bricks around these days?”

“I don’t care! Work for me!”

“Oh... I was suposed to use that knife for Jayden... Ah well!”

“How could he!?! I’m gonna kill Sarah!”

## Trivia

* Kaylinn is also known as Kaylinb and Ben
* She once tried to get people to call her Kaelyn, but it was not successful.
* Kaylinb’s first proper kill in the entire series was Tommy, since she didn’t manage to kill Senan on page 3 of book 1, and Alexandru was in the end killed by Aidan.

## Appearances

* Kaylinn the Potato
* Pepe the Person
* Hannah the Werecat
* Sean the Psychopath