The very best of My Immortal

* *It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes*
* *Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…………………………………DUMBLYDORE!*
* *We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red.*
* *They dyed in a car crash*
* *Draco’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak*
* *put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow*
* *We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi*
* *he had died his hare black*
* *All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore*
* *“No one fucking understands me!1” he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz.*
* *black high held boots and a cross belly fing*
* *“Accuse me? What about me!” I growled.*
* *Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated*
* *“Hey I need to ask you a question.” he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. “What are u wearing to the concert?” “U no who MCR r!” I gasped. “No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2.” He said. “Anyway Draco has a surprise for u.”*
* *with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots*
* *Den I gasped…………………………………………………………….Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1*
* *“It wuz to blackmail u.” I snarked. “So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I’ll show dis to Dumbledork*
* *“Draco are u okay?” I asked in a gothic voice*
* *“Its ok Enoby.” said Vampire comfortly*
* *I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)*
* *Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke*
* *Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way*
* *but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school*
* *We went back to our coffins frenching each other*
* *my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1*
* *All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped. Standing in front of me where………………. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!*
* *He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism*
* *“OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?” “Enoby something is really fucked up.” Draco said. “OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first.” I shouted angrily.*
* *Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked.*
* *“You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.*
* *“2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?” “I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!”*
* *Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures.*
* *“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.*
* *Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.*
* *Then he had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” he exclaimed.*
* *We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Allah Kedavra!” It was……………………………….. Voldemort!*
* *“Rid my sight you despicable preps!” he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. “EbonyIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.” he said.*
* *“Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!”*
* *I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!*