Chapter 62

After the verbal altercation in the public park involving Shion, Natsumi, and Akira, Shion quit going to school, and stays mostly in her bedroom now, sulking.

## Features of This Chapter

### Story Setting

At Shion's home in her bedroom, outside on the sidewalk, at Akira's home.

### Transition Milestones

Akira is now trusted being a part of girl-with-girl intimate talk.

### Relationship Evolution

Akira and Natsumi become ever closer and intimate with one another. Akira accidentally realizes how big Natsumi's boobs have become.

### Lessons Learned

Teenagers emotions and feelings are always in a state of flux.

ORE GA WATASHI NI NARU MADE (UNTIL I BECOME ME)

CHAPTER 62 OF THE MANGA

## Previously

One day after school, Shion indulges in one of her favorite pastimes, gossiping about others in school. However, she makes an error in judgement when she draws Akira into the conversation. Natusmi comes by, and is also attracted to what is being talked about. Realizing that an 'attitude adjustment' needs to be made, Natsumi has Shion and Akira follow her to the public park near the school campus. There, while sitting on the swing set, the three girls 'bare their souls'. Natsumi offers critique, whereas Shion is 'taken down a notch or so', with Akira 'getting an earfull'. The banter becomes heated, until the three retire to the girl's outdoor restroom to hide from Rumi and a group of other girls walking through the park. Without knowing Akira is within earshot inside the restroom, Rumi states to the other girls how Akira is, unknowingly, both sweet and innocent, yet also hardcore sexy and blatantly erotic, a dangerious social combination for a clueless Akira. After Rumi and the others move on, Shion and Akira go at it one-on-one. Natsumi wraps things up by hugging Akira and whispering to her. But how much good was accomplished by all of the pointed and barbed conversation between the three ?

## This Chapter's Story

During a boring self-study class in school, a couple of days after the altercation that she was part of with Shion and Natsumi, Akira falls into a period of daydreaming. She recalls an incident she had with Rumi, about the time they began their friendship---

FLASHBACK

While visiting Rumi at her home, an accident caused by Akira results in Rumi spilling iced tea all over herself, as well as on Akira. Both girls change their clothes, with Rumi giving Akira a pretty dress to wear, probably resulting in this being the first time that Akira has worn such an attractive girl's outfit. The next day finds Rumi at Akira's home, with Akira returning the dress to her, after the dress had been laundered. Rumi meets Akira's Grandmother, and is invited in. Akira gives Rumi the shopping bag with the dress inside, with Rumi accepting it. Akira apologizes for her own ineptitude. Rumi is gracious, accepting the apology with congenial understanding.

The two, Akira and Rumi, sit down for a round of drinks and conversation. Seeing Akira today wearing boy clothes, as she always does, Rumi asks her if she ever wears skirts or dresses ? Akira confesses that she does not, surprising Rumi. Thinking silently to herself, Akira wonders if her not wearing skirts or dresses, or any girl clothes for that matter, makes her seem weird or freaky in Rumi's eyes ? Would this be some sort of tip-off to Rumi that she used to be a boy ? Does this mean that in Rumi's mind, I'm not really a girl ? Just then, Rumi states that she wants to see pictures of Akira at her previous school ! Horror of horrors, those pictures are of her as that bratty, obnoxious boy ! Grandma calls out from the kitchen that all of the school albums have been packed away, and are probably back at Akira's old home. That is okay with Rumi, but she says that she wants to eventually see them some time in the future. Akira practically 'falls over dead' at that thought. (End Flashback)

Akira and Natusmi are in Shion's bedroom, visiting her and trying to find out why she is acting so unorthodox. This because the two found out that Shion has not been attending school, ever since the disagreement the three had on the playground a few days ago. Akira and Natsumi are looking at a picture of Shion as a child, as she is handing someone an orange, with such an adorable expression on her face. "You used to be so cute and innocent. But now you are grown up, and skipping school. Such a twist of fate, wouldn't you say ?", quips Natsumi. Shion gives her a look of hopelessness and resignation, but says nothing. Handing Shion a bunch of papers, Akira says that we have brought to you all of the class handouts so far.

Continuing the questioning, Natsumi wants to know why you, Shion, are doing this, why you decided to skip school ? You told us on the playground that you would let us know more about yourself. What gives ? Shion is quiet for a long time, but finally opens up, saying that she was jealous of seeing Akira and Rumi come to have such a strong and intimate bond of friendship between them. She assumed that they had been childhood friends all along. (Not true. Actually, Male Akira lost all of 'his' male childhood 'friends', plus none of the girls would befriend Akira.) Then, Shion noticed that Aoi was accepted into Akira's and Rumi's friendship circle. This about the same time that Shion had introduced herself to Akira. That made Shion feel left out and discouraged. "Why was I the odd girl out, that was kept away from all of their fun and companionship ?", pleads Shion.

Sitting on her bed all this time, with Akira and Natsumi standing, Shion leans over and bows to the two girls, but says nothing. "**I - I** (lit. *Watashi* {feminine}) didn't know any of that was going on with you, Shion ...... ", confesses Akira, until Natsumi cups Akira's mouth with her hand. "That's enough of that !", proclaims Natsumi, "Just smile and say nothing more, Akira !", whispers Natsumi into Akira's ear. This Akira does, slapping a fake smile on her face and grinning at Shion like a Cheshire Cat. She doesn't care anymore, Natsumi says speaking on behalf of a silent Shion. Natsumi finishes up by telling Shion to come back to school as soon as she is able to. "Yea, right ....", thinks Shion to herself, as the two leave.

Outside, walking on the sidewalk, Natsumi cautions Akira that she should not have tried to apologize to Shion, as her predicament is not your fault. "But ....", pleads Akira. Cutting her off, Natsumi replies that dealing with people like Shion, sometimes the best way to interact with them is to keep a certain set distance between you and them. With Shion, it is best to keep her 'at arms-length'. For her part, Shion doesn't realize that about herself, that her personality does not mesh well with others. She thought that she would automatically, on her own merits and social standing of being well-to-do, be accepted into the friendship threesome of you, Akira, plus Rumi and Aoi. But Shion miscalculated, to her misfortune. At least that is what I think, states Natsumi.

Akira thanks Natsumi for her understanding and concern, that is, trying to talk and reason with Shion, and also being considerate and understanding with me, when I told the two of you that I, myself, used to be an obnoxious school bully at my old school **(\*)**. Natsumi replies that ever since she has met you, Akira, she has never known you to be that sort of person. But what the 'tip off' to me was, the fact that you are still so guilty and remorseful about whatever happened back then. You show that feeling about yourself quite often, you know. However, if Rumi, who has known you intimately for such a long time, is okay with that about you, then I am not one to object to that about you, either. A look of concern and trepidation comes across Akira's face, like something is pointing a guilty finger at her. "You mean you have not told Rumi all of that about yourself ? Not at all ?", exclaims a surprised Natsumi ? Natsumi pretends to be so shocked by that revelation, that she has to break off all contact with Akira immediately.

"Just kidding !", says a jovial Natsumi, "But you, Akira, are scared stiff that Rumi will become angry, and reject your friendship if she ever finds out about that part of your past, right ?"

"Yeah", sheepishly confesses Akira, "I'm so afraid that telling Rumi the truth about myself will hurt her so bad .... and she will end up hating me .... and I will have lost a dear friend that I love .... and .... and .... that's not fair for me to allow that to happen .... I will continue to silently punish myself so that will never happen !"

Natsumi breaks into Akira's confession of her troubles and fears, and lovingly hugs her dearly. "It's okay .... IT'S OKAY !", soothes Natsumi with her calm voice. If things ever do not work out between Rumi and yourself, I am always here to also be your intimate friend and soulmate. "Natsumi-chan ....", whispers Akira. "What ? You still don't have the courage to face yourself 'head-on' and deal with your own faults and failings ?", questions Natsumi ?

When Natsumi put her arms around Akira to hug her, Akira's one hand was grasping the wrist of her other hand, and both of Akira's hands were pressed into Natsumi's chest. Akira is calling out to Natsumi, only because Akira's hands are feeling something so warm, soft, and tender. Akira only now notices just how big and plump Natsumi's boobs have become. They are almost adult-sized, and so very attractive. Natsumi has a hearty laugh ! You are not some drooling boy, Akira, so there is no need to feel embarrassed about one girl touching and feeling another girl's boobs. Yeah, I am almost a "D" cup now !

Returning home in the late afternoon, Akira finds the front door locked. Mom must be at work, and maybe Grandma is over at the neighbors. Using her own key to get in, Akira then sits down on the couch in the front room. Suddenly, the home phone rings; Akira picks it up. It is the insurance company, wanting to thank Mom for sending in the documents. Akira has the phone in one hand, and absentmindedly rests her other hand on her backpack. The backpack squishes down, reminding Akira of how Natsumi's boobs squished when her hands were pressed up against them. The insurance company wants to give out some information, yet right then, Mom comes into the front room. Akira hands the phone to Mom, and goes to her bedroom. Once there, she begins to undress. While she is taking off her skirt, her mind is, for some unexpected reason, flooded with past comments directed toward her by her friends and schoolmates. Especially noteworthy is Rumi's offer to Akira to tell her anything at all about herself, no matter how trivial or bizarre. When she is down to only her bra and panties, Akira silently stares at herself in the mirror.

(End Chapter 62)

## Chapter Lookback, Commentary, and Opinion

 **(\*) Akira the school bully**

Akira gradually begins to open up about in the past being a bully at school, but without mentioning that she was a boy at that time.

That's not true.", replies Akira as she hugs her bookbag for self-encouragement, "In the past, **I** (lit. *Watashi* {feminine}) bullied another girl rather horribly. The social situation became so bad, because of my bullying and general nastiness, that is the reason why I had to leave that school and transferred to this school. That is why, deep down, I am not a good girl. Not at all !"

---excerpt taken from the latter half of Chapter 61

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mgRdr

Messages: 357

Dec 12, 2023

Why's Shion suddenly sulking and skipping school? Did I miss a chapter? Is she that hung up about Akira rejecting her friendship offer?

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Monstrengo

Messages: 24

Dec 13, 2023

Let's just say that last chapter [Chapter 61], it was revealed to us that Shion wants to be a part of Akira's circle of friends. Previous chapters have shown us that Shion rubs Akira the wrong way by her [gossipping] manner.
It does seem clear that this chapter [Chapter 62] takes place a few days later.

Akira still has yet to reveal the truth [that she was born a boy] to Rumi.

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ChristineGuinn

Active member

Messages: 361

Dec 13, 2023

Clearly Akira is still having issues with what we in the trans community call "imposter syndrome."

Even though she's 100% physically female, and she acts very feminine now and likes feminine things, she's still worried that if people discover that she was originally a boy, everyone will hate her and abandon her. This has really been a motivating factor for a lot of her actions. She turned down Shouma's confession because she didn't feel "worthy" due to having been a boy originally, and she even goes home and cries afterwards, thinking "if only I had been a girl from the start." (Sorry Akira x Rumi shippers, but she DOES seem to like Shouma, and is even jealous that a Kouhai is pursuing him.)

It looks like at the end of this chapter that maybe she's preparing herself to tell Rumi not only that she used to be a bully, but that she was a boy at the time.

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CuteGothLolita

Messages: 35

Dec 15, 2023

Hicleric said---

"I interpreted it more as her associating the squishy sensation with her (remaining) boy-ness."

I took it to mean that when Akira's hands and wrists pressed against Nasumi's boobs, Akira was surprised about how much bigger and softer Natsumi's boobs have become, since Akira has known her, at least compared to her own modest bust growth. How much of Akira's original male DNA is left in her body, which is gradually being overwritten by her female transformation, may possibility cause her not to ever have large boobs.

Plus, Shion thought that wealth and social status would allow her to be liked by everyone. Not the case, as she was, so far, unable to crack into the Akira, Rumi, Aoi, and now Natsumi social circle.

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Awaiting a Japanese to English translation for Chapter 63

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