Sailor Moon: Usagi's Hard Lesson - Chapter 2

Do you guys remember Sailor Moon? It’s a show about an 8th grader named Usagi who has the power of something in space. I’ll have you know that I was a huge fan of the show. To let you all know, My name is Lance Sterling. I’m a member of the CIA. Where if there’s something bad going on like someone starting a war and all that, I’m there to help. I love watching Sailor Moon a lot. Well for my kids, I do not let them watch that show because one, It does not resemble that much kids stuff. Two, There is shower scene references in the show. My friends eventually freak out when they see a bath scene in an anime.

I have a favorite episode of Sailor Moon called Usagi’s Hard Lesson. There’s a reason I watch that. My favorite part about that episode is where one character named Mikan (Mee-kan) Shinatori is in the shower and gets attacked by a Dragon Ball ripoff character. I always rewind to watch that scene over and over again, Because it’s so hot.

Well to be honest, I don’t watch it in front of my kids. Do you want your kid to grow up to be an R-Rated movie star? Well, I don’t want that happening. EVER! There’s a lost episode of this show that was kind of funny throughout this broadcast. It talked about something called Bananas In Pajamas. What even was this?

One day, I was chilling on my couch watching some Fanboy and Chum Chum. My kids came in asking if they could play some Play Station All Stars Battle Royale on their PS3. I told them no because I was about to watch some High School DXD. I live in a mansion where my good friend named Walter Beckett who lives right next to me. By the way, My children are adopted.

I kicked them out of the living room and sent them to the playroom. I called Walter to see if he wanted to come over and watch some anime.

He said yes and he arrived in about 5 minutes, Probably because he was doing a few chores before leaving the house. I don’t know if he has a father or not because after his mother was killed, He’s probably been living alone. Anyways, I turned on the fire TV and went to Hulu. While scrolling through the TV for You selection, I came across something. I saw that Sailor Moon had an unaired episode called “Usagi’s Hard Lesson Chapter 2.”

I thought Walter and I should watch it because the episode looked interesting. The intro played but it was done in GoAnimate now known as Vyond. The episode started with Usagi on the couch watching The Wiggles. Weird, Australia would’ve likely sued for that. She then got up and shut off the TV to go on a walk.

Usagi was walking down the street until she what looked like Mr Bean. He was acting like a homeless man because he needed a million dollars to make Arctic Dogs not a bad movie by giving it some more money. Now I know Arctic Dogs, It’s a movie where a fox named Swifty just wants to be a flipping UPS driver. But I found it as a cute movie.

Usagi gives him about… About 50 bucks. She then walks down to her school to take a snapshot. This was strange because the iPhone didn’t exist until 2007. Maybe Japan wanted to change the way we see the future. A time card appeared and it read, “5 Hours Later.” The next scene cut to Mikan’s house. It showed her bedroom with the sound of the shower running. I noticed that she kept the door locked. How sweet of her. Me and Walter knew she was going to enjoy her shower in peace. While showering, She was singing a song about the Bananas In Pajamas. She sung it like this:

“Bananas, In pajamas, Are coming down the stairs. Bananas, In pajamas, Are coming down in pairs. Bananas, In pajamas, Are eating Taco Bell. Bananas, In pajamas, They will see if you smell. Bananas, In pajamas, Have punched a kid in the face. Bananas, In pajamas, Run fast at a good pace.”

This was something! She kept singing in that shower throughout most of the episode. But there was another scene. Well, The scene with Mikan in the shower didn’t last forever. It cuts to Usagi at school. She was doing a math test because she wanted to get caught up on her homework so she doesn’t have to do it at home. Genius!

But then the credits roll. That was obviously short. Walter decided to go home after that. The next morning, I got a knock on the door. There was a british police officer at my front door if I was Lance Sterling. I said yes and I asked him if I did something wrong. He claimed that I wasn’t in trouble. They claimed that they’re looking for Mikan because she just made Africa lose a lot of water.

I told her that she lives in Japan and they sent an international police officer over there. After all that, I heard the sound of what sounded like chatting. I went upstairs to see what in tarnation was going on. When I got up there, I saw Captain Hero, Toot, Foxy Love, Princess Clara and a rhino chatting while being in towels. Captain Hero wasn’t quite in a towel. He was just staring.

Just then, They started staring directly at me singing that Bananas in Pajamas song. But they sang it in the style from a lost episode I listened to once. Here’s how it went:

“Bananas in pajamas are coming down the stairs. Bananas in pajamas are coming down in pairs. Bananas in pajamas are watching you sleep at night. Bananas in pajamas, so don’t turn on the light. Bananas in pajamas had murdered to get their clothes, bananas in pajamas, eat eyes and human toes. Bananas, in pajamas, are taking over the united states. Bananas in pajamas, serving human flesh on plates. Bananas. In pajamas, own people for the ethical treatment of fruit. Bananas in pajamas, that’s not a man in a suit. Bananas in pajamas are coming your way soon, bananas in pajamas are going to be in your room. That large yellow shadow is indeed quite real. The plantains are coming, and they consider you veal. Six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch. Time is an illusion, and they’ll be having you for lunch. Bananas in pajamas, they’re taking over the trailer park, bananas in pajamas. Love is an. Aardvark.”

“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” I yelled. What even is this?

Just then, There was another sound. I went downstairs to see Sailor Moon raiding my fridge. I asked what she was doing in my house. She said that she ran out of milk at her house and needed to borrow one of my jugs of milk. I claimed okay and just bought myself some more milk.

Just what did I even watch with Walter? Occasionally, The world will understand that lost episodes aren’t just real. They just keep it hidden for another time. One question, How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? The world may never know!