Myke The Bleach Salesman

A close up of Myke in his natural habitat

Myke the Bleach Salesman is a powerful entity within the D4NK Universe. He is known for his unique method of killing by convincing others to buy Clorox brand bleach from him and having them drink it.

## History

Although his true origins are unknown, there are two theories as to where he came from:

Theory 1

Born in the 8th circle of hell, Myke wanted to go out and explore the world. So he used his amazing powers to overthrow Satan's 8th general of hell and took to earth. There, he discovered the magical company called "Clorox", he wanted to sell bleach to all the people in need, so he got a job there. He was fired 3 years later after the CEO discovered he committed 1st-degree homicide. He then escaped the police and lives the rest of his life going around and selling bleach to unsuspecting persons.

Theory 2

Before becoming Myke the Bleach Salesman, Myke was an anthropomorphic creature named Tony Bologna. Tony Bologna was the arch nemesis to detective Worf Pupperson, another anthropomorphic creature. During an encounter with Worf, Tony fell into a vat of bleach, and was presumed dead. However, the bleach merely mutated Tony and transformed him into Myke. Myke then took revenge on Worf by ambushing him and shooting a mantis through a window with a bleach bottle.

## Relationships

Myke is a lone wolf, and has no real allies or friends to speak of. Although he used to work for the company Clorox, he was fired and no longer has any legal connections to the company. Despite this, he somehow manages to continue to sell Clorox brand bleach as an independant salesman.

Although he has no specific friends or enemies, he tends to target "edgy kids who talk about killing themselves."

Myke also has Uncel Dab trapped in the void, and will occasionally send him out as a projectile at his enemies.

## Powers

According to the Fastlane Anomalous Research Team, Myke appears to have the highest concentration of magik within any being. He seems to have near-infinite abilities. Despite this, he rarely, if ever, uses any that would cause a serious problem for the world.

A list of Myke's more commonly used powers are:

* The ability to convince anyone to buy and drink his bleach by staring at them
* Teleportation
* Deus Ex Machina
* The ability to distort the physical appearance and properties of Clorox brand bleach bottles

* Levitation/flight
* The ability to summon Chlorox brand bleach out of thin air
* The ability to send things to the void within one of his bleach bottles

## D4NK Rumble History

Myke the Bleach Salesman has appeared in the first D4NK Rumble as a competitor in the 30 man rumble event. He was the 19th to enter, and eliminated one opponent: Dr. Heidrich. He was eliminated by Robbie Rotten, and was the 22nd person to be eliminated.

## Trivia

* Myke the Bleach Salesman is actually just a modified version of Barney from the Half Life franchise.
* Myke the Bleach Salesman has faced off against Big Bill Hells in a battle of the salesman.
* Myke seems to have an irrational hatred of windows and doors. The reason for this is unknown.
* Myke does not speak. Instead, he uses a cassette tape with a text to speech recording of his catchphrase.

## Quotes

"DID SOMEONE SAY "KILL MYSELF"? I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT!"