The Contract

## **Intent to Acknowledge Responsibility of Bodily Harm**

\*\***Form (3.u8\_mkII)**

The Four Winds Trade Company and its allies are **NOW FULLY** responsible for **MOST** injuries, fake or sustained, including but not limited to:

...burns, scratches, owies, bruises, nicks, cuts, scrapes, torn armor, torn dresses, torn loincloths, ripped loincloths, Ogre loincloths, vision damage from staring at a ripped Ogre loincloth, fel corruption, Arcane damage, Fire damage, Frost damage, Shadow damage, Shadowfrost damage, Holy Light cauterization, Holy Light rejection, feral Druid nail clippings, Draenic nipple piercings and cleanings therein, feral Druid horn stubbings, feral Druid hoof cracking, electrical damage, electrical stimulation, erotic electrical stimulations; inability to breathe, unwillingness to properly outfit for the job at hand - including, but not limited to, equipping faulty diving gear (underwater or lava); injuries sustained from facing mentally-traumatizing fears; Gnomish engineering failure, catastrophic Gnomish engineering failure, tiny Gnomish engineering failure, **ANY TYPES** of Goblin engineering failures, dancing injuries, overexertion from attempting to murder your own co-workers; Dwarven-induced scrotum hemorrhaging, Dwarven-induced anal prolapse, jumping-for-joy injuries, misshapen armor blisters, misshapen shoe blisters, misshapen leather chafing, swallowing of errant teeth (your own or others'); injuries sustained from stealth breaking, injuries sustained from positions being given away due to malfunctioning Gnomish communicators or accidental wormhole-induced injuries; injuries sustained from ingesting Pandaren brews; injuries sustained from ingesting Bakuzan's brews; injuries sustained by or in the attempt of wielding, repairing or recovering shovels or shovel-like implements; including, but not limited to, shovels, pitchforks, one-handed gardening hoes, one-handed gardening scythes and other caustic weedkillers; cooking stove burns, scrapes, scuffs, toe-stubbings, and various pots and or pans falling on the Employee's head; injuries sustained from heatstroke, sunstroke, errant sand in places sand should never be; drowning, near-drowning, curses placed upon the Employee by illegally acquiring cursed artifacts or relics; thorns in painful places, vine whiplashes, accidental Botani mutations, intentional Botani mutations, Forsaken bites, nibbles, chomps or slashes, burns from coffee machine filters, smashed fingers or toes in the Outpost refrigerator, mishaps caused by cooking competition backfires; ingestion of strange fluids accumulated from purified (or otherwise noted) moonwells; explosion, detonation or incineration of coworkers, whether by outside or inward influences.

The Ebon Blade by proxy are NOW FULLY responsible for the Employee: being thrown up on by any Death Knight affiliated with the Company; being oozed on, splattered with ectoplasm, splattered with decapitated head filth, attempted kidnapping or murder by wayward minions, splattered with chest-cavity leavings, splattered with runic energies; soul unceremoniously shoved back into corporeal body from death or near-death by a Death Knight; spills or stains from any aforementioned splattering are not covered under the Laundry Day Clause (2.08.a1).

This fine print is subject to change and reprint as necessary to protect the Four Winds from litigation and Stormwind Peon's Compensation claims.

## Form of Intent to Accept Employment Offer with the Company

I, the undersigned, agree to forfeit all rights and claims to any hazard pay that the Four Winds Trade Company (hereto referred as 'the Company') deems unnecessary in terms of merit-based performance and rewards acclimated in lieu of medical care; the Company is allied with the best and brightest in the fields of medical care, and will work with the Employee in their provided coverage zones.

This is including, but not limited to, Druidic healing, faith-based Light cauterization, questionably effective bandaging and gently vocalized encouragement for the Employee's well-being.

I, the undersigned, agree to tenuous at best terms of employment within the Company, and understand that hiring occurs with an at-will clause in mind. I understand the rights and privileges afforded to me through the occupation of the Outpost and its lodging and properties. This means sharing all Refrigerator Unit space, and not hogging it.

I, the undersigned, agree to stay the hell away from the Vault, as the Company cannot be held responsible for the Director of Internal Security's reactions or reprimand process.

I, the undersigned, agree to not seek legal repercussions or damages incurred from bearing witness to or even mentally visualizing traumatizing images, including but not limited to undergarments on varying clients, hostiles or allied partners in varying states of dress, undress or no-dress.

*Mostly taken from here.*