Stone 69

**Chapter 69**

Richard is riding towards Aydindril when his horse dies under him. Richard thinks about how he's sorry for the horse, and we learn that he's ridden a number of horses to death trying to get to Aydindril. And actually . . . credit where credit is due. Terry Goodkind seems to understand that horses are neither tireless zombies nor the medieval equivalent of motorcycles. If you push a horse to far, it will, in fact, die. I can completely understand someone in Richard's position riding horses to death in a desperate effort to get there in time.

My approval is somewhat mitigated when we learn that it's been two weeks since Richard left the People's Palace.

So Richard has been riding like a madman, killing horses, throwing gold at people and taking new ones, and running when he can't find a horse. He finally reaches Aydindril and heads through the city towards the Confessors' Palace. En route he encounters a hawker selling *“ 'Confessor's hair! . . . Right off her vile head! Don't have many left! Show your children the hair of the last Confessor!' “* For some reason I find this hysterical. I'm not sure why.

Anyway, Richard manhandles the hawker and steals the hair, then heads to the Mindrapists' Palace, somehow getting into the kitchens without encountering any guards or other obstacles. Um . . . sure. He remembers Kahlan mention Sanderholt, the head cook, and starts yelling Sandy's name. Sandy shows up, and Richard demands to know where Kahlan is. Sandy says she was sentenced to death, then executed at the winter solstice.

Richard confirms that it was the Central Council that sentenced her to death, gets direction to the Ostentatiatory, then storms off down the hallway. *“Guards were everywhere,”* yet none of them make any effort to stop or slow the armed and obviously-angry man running towards the Ostentatiatory.

Oops; I spoke too soon. As Richard reaches the Ostentatiatory doors, the guards stationed there *“made their move to stop him,”* whatever that means. Richard *“wanted them out of the way,”* though we're not told what he does to get them out of the way. Instead, he uses Sue-magic to blow the ever-loving crap out of the doors, the doorframe, and the wall that held them. *“In his peripheral vision he saw blood hit the white marble.”* Well, so much for getting the guards out of the way, I guess.

Richard storms into the Ostentatiatory. Unimportant Head Councilor demands to know what he's doing (he just exploded your doors; what do you idiots think he's doing?) and Richard in turn demands to know if any of them did not vote for Kahlan's execution. Unimportant Head Councilor says it was unanimous, so Richard jumps onto the table – er, desk – and slaughters all the councilors.

As the guards belatedly surround Richard, Richard says *“ 'I am the Seeker! These men have murdered the Mother Confessor! They have paid the price of murder! Decide if you wish to be on the side of dead cutthroats, or on the side of right!' “*

I've already shared my opinions regarding the “righteousness” of the Mindrapists.

One of the guards asks if Richard is a wizard, and when Richard says yes, says *“ 'This is wizard's business. It's not our place to challenge wizards. I'll not die for something that's not my place.' “*

**Wrong**, Nameless Guard. Your “place” is to protect the people who hired you. That's literally WHAT YOU DO. It doesn't matter if the danger is wizards, dragons, zombies or My Little Ponies.

Of course, this scene only exists so Richard doesn't have to slaughter all the Nameless Guards in the Palace (who, remember, are innocent mooks who had nothing to do with Kahlan's death) . . . I understand that. I can understand the guards backing down because Richard just blew the crap out of the Giant Doors of Awesomeness. However, the way it's presented, the Nameless Guard considers the matter logically and comes to the conclusion that, since his contract didn't specifically cover wizards, he doesn't give a rat poop if a wizard waltzes in and slaughters the entire Central Council.

Which, of course, is exactly what happened.

The guards all leave, and Richard thinks about how the good spirits have done nothing to help (WHY DO YOU KEEP EXPECTING THEM TO??) and to hell with them anyway. He draws his knife and sets it against his chest, deciding that since Kahlan is dead, he might as well die too.

Let me take a moment to digress here.

You know how there keep being occasional nuggets of competent writing in amidst the crapola? Well, this appears to be one. I have to admit, this surprised me greatly the first time I read it: that Goodkind would actually have Kahlan killed off. He introduced a character who appeared to be the Designated Love Interest, developed her over almost two whole books, put her through hell, and then, once we had come to love . . . well, come to know her, he killed her off.

That is actually very impressive. It changes the context of the whole rest of the series, since no matter how SuperAwesome Richard becomes, he has to live with the fact that he couldn't save the woman he loved. He chose the world over his own happiness, which is actually a very heroic thing to do. It makes Richard a bit more angsty in later books, but with some justification; more importantly, it makes him more real. It makes him into a person instead of a pile of clichés being pulled around by the author.

So, a tip of the hat for that. Well done

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What, you actually believed that? No, of COURSE Kahlan isn't dead.

We cut back to Kahlan, who is chillin' in an inn with Zedd, Adie, Jebra, Chandelier, Orsk, Ahern, and Prince Harold, Kahlan's brother. We learn that they found this inn abandoned (due to fear of the advancing Keltish forces – wait, the what?), and that, while Zedd has recovered his memory, Adie has not.

We're also told that, a week out from Aydindril, this motley band encountered Prince Harold, who escaped the slaughter in Aydindril with a handful of his men. When Queen Cyrilla was being taken out to be executed, *“he made a daring raid, and in the confusion of people coming to see the execution, he snatched his sister from the axeman.”*

Wow. Way to sum up an event that sounds a lot more interesting and exciting than what we've actually read. \~/

We also learn that, four days after Kahlan & Co. hooked up with Harold, Captain Ryan and the tattered remains of the Army of Children joined them as well. The AoC had *“wiped out the Imperial Order to a man,”* though they were down to only 900 survivors. Okay; sure. Whatever. Let's just get through this.

Kahlan is ministering to her sister Cyrilla, who spend most of her time in a dazed stupor. When she's conscious, Kahlan is the only one who can speak with her; the sight of a man either sets her screaming or sends her back into a stupor. Wait . . . can it be . . . is Cyrilla demonstrating some sort of believable reaction to her brutal ordeal? She's not just laughing it off and teasing men with her ass? I feel faint.

Cyrilla's spirit is essentially broken, and she keeps asking Kahlan to take over rule of Galea, with Kahlan insisting that if she does, it will only be temporary until Cyrilla can rule again. Harold also asks Kahlan to rule, and she says she'll think about it.

Kahlan and Zedd have a chat. Zedd tells her not to blame herself, and she replies *“You wear lies poorly, wizard.”* What a peculiar turn of phrase. She says that she knows Zedd really wanted to kill her, and he makes an excuse to the effect that, for his anger to break the amnesia spell, he had to let it *“rage uncontrolled.”* Which begs the question of how he was able to consciously decide to let his anger “rage uncontrolled.” While he still had amnesia, no less. \~/

We learn that Zedd used a *“death spell”* to make everyone think Kahlan was dead, and that, for a death spell to work, the subject has to believe they are going to die. Why he couldn't just conjure up an illusory Kahlan I don't know.

Kahlan whines that she has *“quit the cause of the good spirits.”* Zedd points out that it was Kahlan herself who tracked him down in the Westland to convince him to help: “ *'You helped convince me that if we abandon the side of magic, of right, of helping those who are powerless, then the enemy is handed an uncontested victory.”*

Personally, I prefer the quotation attributed to Edmind Burke: ***“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”***

Kahlan whines some more, stating that *“The spirits saw fit to leave me without help . . . The good spirits have chosen their side, and it is not with me.”* So, since the good spirits (who, I remind you again, are the only religion we have seen in America) didn't send an angel with a flaming sword down to help Kahlan and make everything all better, she's decided to be utterly opposed to them. Wow, petty much? \~/

Zedd and Kahlan bicker some more until Kahlan finally agrees to be Queen of Galea. However, Zedd says that's not what he was talking about. To cut a lot of maundering short, Kahlan is the last Mindrapist, and Zedd wants her to get bizz-ay and make some little Mindrapists. After her initial shock, Kahlan orders Orsk up to her room, making the surprisingly reasonable argument that better it be him than she hurt someone else. Then she angsts some more, \~/ lamenting that *“Call it what you will . . . It is rape. My enemies could not accomplish it; it took my friends to rape me.”*

I'm not adding that to the Rape Count, dammit. No matter what Kahlan says, it's not rape of someone says “You have a real responsibility to bear children.” That's advice . . . misogynistic advice, quite possibly, but still, advice.

Zedd asks Kahlan to do one last thing: go for a walk and ask the spirits for guidance. Kahlan spurns this suggestion, so Zedd says to do it for Richard, and she finally agrees.

And thus endeth the chapter. Ow, my brain.

Drinks: 4

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