C2 E64

We check in on what Selene has been up to the past few weeks and ruminate on whatever consequences we need to deal with. She wasn’t gone that lone so she probably only caused a few minor international hiccups that we can ignore for now.

## **Story**

### Long Story

For the last few weeks, Selene von Esper has been up on the surface. She's been working with some of Ratma Ritmo's secret contacts, to get word back to the von Esper family. The nature of this message is that Selene is actually alive, despite what they may hear of her death. It's all a part of her mission, in which she must be undercover. Also, if they hear anything about her defecting from the the OT, or maybe starting any kind of a revolution or whatever, that's all part of the undercover mission as well.

With that message delivered, Selene must make it back to Mineford undetected. To accomplish this dangerous mission, Ratma has hooked Selene up with an elite team of mercenaries known as "The Veterans". Like Selene, the Veterans are all ex-OT members, and they're lead by a half-Elf Ranger named Summer. Summer doesn't think too highly of Selene, despite her insistence that she is cool. She's even helping to start a revolution, you know. Summer tells Selene that there's a 2-3 day journey back to Mineford, and the road is dangerous. As such, they're going to be smuggling Selene in, hidden inside a small crate. They will be traveling with a caravan of supplies returning to the city, but Selene must stay inside the crate at all times. She is, obviously, very uncomfortable with this, but has no choice but to comply. Selene climbs into the crate, which is sealed up.

Hours pass. Maybe days. Selene grows more uncomfortable, and more bored, with each passing minute. Eventually, the monotony is broken up by the sound of someone entering the wagon that Selene's crate is hidden in. Some other boxes are pushed out of the way, and a knocking is heard on Selene's crate. She remains still and quite, but when a thick German brogue asks her if she's hungry, she hesitantly replies, "yes".

The crate is opened, and Selene steps out, grateful for the opportunity to stretch her legs. Her new friend is a Dark Elf Rogue named Wagner, and he's one of the Veterans. He gives her a dish of "delicious" pottage stew, and the two talk for a while. Soon, however, Wagner takes his leave, by placing a ring on his finger and disappearing. Selene is left alone once again, but the crate is still open. Fortunately, she's able to climb in and out, to see what's going on in the outside world.

Peering through a slit in the side of the wagon, Selene can see two other members of the Veterans. There's a tall, striking Druid woman, whom we later learn is named Aurora, and a rough-looking Barbarian Dwarf named Howlett. Later, we'll meet another member of the Veterans, a Warforged named Rasputin, but I think it makes sense to list them all out now. There are five of them in total: Summer (the leader), Wagner, Aurora, Howlett, and Rasputin. They make quite the rag-tag team as they travel from city to city. Selene notices that they are well known, and well liked by everyone they meet.

That is, until they reach an OT check-point. Selene overhears some OT crew demanding to inspect the wagon. Thinking quickly, she casts *Alter Self*, to transform herself into... A Wild Hog! It's the greatest thing that's ever happened in this show. She's a stinky, gross pig, and when the OT comes by to peer inside, she's able to ward him off with a pig fart. This is a good show for good people.

The OT guy leaves, but then turns to the others outside the wagon. Selene can overhear him asking if they have any paperwork. A gruff voice responds that they don't got no stinkin' paperwork, and then, all hell breaks loose. Later, we learn that Howlett, quick to anger, and quicker to stab, attacked the OT members. There's a brief, but violent scuffle, and when Selene peers out afterward, the OT guy is "eviscerated". Yikes.

She calls out to anyone, asking if it's okay, and Wagner appears before her again. He tells her that everything's fine. Howlett is pretty wild and impetuous, and this kind of thing happens from time to time, but it's nothing to worry about. He tells her to return to her crate and go to sleep. In the morning, they will finally arrive back in Mineford.

And he's right! In the morning, they have finally arrived back in Mineford. Selene, still in pig form, wheels in on a wagon, along with the five Veterans. Unfortunately, her old friends are nowhere to be found. Pig-Selene knocks on the door with her gross cloven hooves, and is greeted by Ratma Ritmo! She sees through Selene's visage, but pays it no mind. Ratma tells Selene that the others are out on a mission, but they'll be back later.

It's not until the next day that the others return to town, fresh off their mission of slaying the Phase Spiders. They greet Selene warmly, and she catches them up on everything that's happened, including introducing her new friends. Ratma is also proud to announce that, last night, the Veterans did a little cleaning up of their own. They have actually taken care of the third quest, clearing out the Rock Lizards. This is irritating to the main crew, especially T'Chuck, who wanted to get that sweet, sweet reward. He also doesn't like to be showed up.

R'Oarc approaches the Veterans, and is greeted by the Warforged, Rasputin. She attempts to invite them to a little get-together later tonight in the broom closet, so they can all chat and get to know each other. It's awkward, and they may or may not accept this invitation.

That's basically it. There's some business where Selene (who had returned to being human) pretends to drink a pig potion, and turns back into a pig. T'Chuck drinks the pig juice, but it's actually piss for some reason. Selene comes clean, that she just used magic to become a pig. Also, T'Chuck presses Ratma for a reward for their Phase Spider mission. She initially pays them 100 gp, but T'Chuck is able to haggle an additional 50 gp. Good job, T'Chuck.

### Short

With the help of a group of ex-OT named "The Veterans", Selene makes it back to Mineford, after becoming a pig for a while. She meets up with her friends, and they invite the Veterans out for a get together later that night.

## **Trivia**

* Day ~~38 39 40~~ 41 of the campaign.
* Day 41 is a Tuesday. There's a very good chance this doesn't align with a previous date that's been established, but at the same time, they use a different calendar here, so who knows.
* Rasputin doesn't eat. He just requires regular maintenance from his Maintenance Sprite, which lives inside his body.

## **In This Episode...**

### **Cast and Player Characters**

* Michael DiMauro - *Dungeon Master*
* Tim Lanning - T'Chuck
* Jennifer Cheek - Selene von Esper
* Nika Howard - R'Oarc
* Mike Bachmann - Screech Echo / Beholder-doodle (Screech)

### **Non-Player Characters**

* The Veterans
	+ Summer
	+ Wagner
	+ Aurora
	+ Howlett
	+ Rasputin
* Ratma Ritmo

### **Locations**

* The Underdark
	+ An OT Outpost
	+ Mineford
		- The Goblin Pit Too

### **Quest Board**

* [Ongoing] - Restore Mineford to it's true potential
	+ [Quest Stolen by The Veterans] - ~~Clear out the Rock Lizards from the nearby source of coal~~

### **Quotes**

* **"Michael, do we think that *Create or Destroy Water* applies to *piss*? Can I create *PISS*? Can I destroy *PISS*?!?!"** ~ *Tim Lanning*

* **"I'm gonna make myself a wild hog!"** ~ *Jennifer Cheek*
**"Like Tim Allen?"** ~ *Mike Bachmann*

* **"I don't want to be Porky. I'd rather be a Pumba, if I had to pick between them."** ~ *Jennifer Cheek*

* **"She doesn't know *how* she knows it's Tuesday."** ~ *Nika Howard*

## **Rolls**

* **Selene** rolls *Perception* to peek out of a crack in the crate - 14
	+ She thinks she sees someone dart by, but she can't tell what or who

* **Selene** rolls *Perception* to hear the voices outside - 22
	+ She can hear what they're saying, and the sounds of fight.

* **R'Oarc** rolls *Persuasion* to convince the Veterans to come to a get together of hers - 27
	+ They maybe agree?

* **T'Chuck** rolls *Persuasion* to haggle some more money out of Ratma Ritmo - 19
	+ Success - She gives them some more money