Road Rage LA - Maddox's Funeral

*Show's cancelled. Sleep well, sweet prince.*

**Road Rage LA 2020 - Maddox's Funeral** was intended to be a variety show hosted by Dick Masterson as a part of *Road Rage*; the live accompaniment of *The Dick Show*. This particular installment, scheduled for March 2020, experienced a myriad of complications and gay-opery leading up to the show's execution. As of March 19th, as per executive order by Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti, Maddox's Funeral ~~has been postponed indefinitely~~ due to the 2019 Novel Coronavirus Pandemic.

The show finally occurred in March 2022.

## Maddox's Funeral

### Performers

Dick Masterson, Maddox, several bartenders

## **The Cumback Kid**

It had been 40 weeks since Dick was voted America's Worst Mexican for failing to attend his own show in Sydney, Australia when Road Rage LA was announced for March 28th, 2020 at Busby's East - a 3-star establishment in East Los Angeles. The show was commemorated in honor of Dick's former comedy-partner Maddox, who had recently committed career suicide. Tickets went on sale on Patreon and later on the *TDS* website.

## **Mexican Skinhead gets kicked out of LA (again)**

One week and $11,000 in ticket sales later Busby's East cancelled the event via email; citing a desire to create an ideologically-neutral environment which would have been violated by a podcast which they believed to have been "oversimplified" in its represented viewpoints. Though they did close their email with "we hold all stances equal."

Dick called the venue and spoke to Michael, who is Irish and therefore already operating with a handicap, and Michael explained that it was brought to his attention that Dick held "certain views on women," a clear and obvious reference to *Men Are Better Than Women* which Dick shot down as satire from 13 years ago. Michael then cited the *Dr. Phil* tapes. Dick graciously informed Michael that neither he nor anyone on the Busby's staff understands satire and he should consider telling them. Then he hung up and went to Pilates. That afternoon Dick received an email from Michael informing him that they had reversed their decision.

It should be noted that Dick was very vocal in advertising Road Rage on Twitter so it should come as no surprise that enemies of the show would contact the venue. Several talentless hacks such as Cameron Clarke and JMAA even prematurely took credit for cancelling the show.

One week later the venue cancelled *again* citing the acquisition of "further information." The venue had received correspondence and gleaned that Road Rage would violate their policy against any event that "spreads hate." This was their final decision. By this point Dick had decided that there were more venue options on the table than a seedy pub in East LA and considered the possibility of obtaining a liquor license and opening his own temporary venue. Dick's dad also offered to host the show at his house. This event was explored on *The Dick Show* episode 194.

## **GUESS WHO**

After the airing of episode 194 Busby's came crawling back with another email explaining that they would gladly host the show (by this time tickets had already sold out) under a set of pretenses:

1. That it is a legitimate social event and no illegality will take place
2. That all current negative social media comments will cease immediately
3. Previously agreed pricing terms continue to apply

The email was sent in vain, however, for Dick had already rented, furnished and licensed a venue (location withheld) known only as The Dickodrome.

At the same time *Dick Show* regular King Richard called Busby's pretending to be an agent of the Los Angeles City Comptroller's Office. Richard made up a story about the comptroller receiving complaints from a guy named Maddox who was upset that Busby's was using his name in their event. The unnamed general manager who answered the phone **confirmed** that they had received several emails and voicemails from a character named Maddox who urged them that the show was hosted by:

"...a hate group who use the n-word. Insult gay people, call people faggots..."

He also complained that they had to close their yelp account and delete a large number of emails harassing them over the show's cancellation, which Dick did not condone though he did find amusing. In the end he and the staff agreed that Road Rage was hosted by "not a good group of people" and agreed to cancel.

When pressed on the origin of Maddox's emails, the general manager did express confusion as to who Maddox was and why he was difficult to get a hold of, explaining that the phone number he left messages from could not be re-dialed and responding to his emails went nowhere. The intial email Maddox sent came from maddox@xmission.com and introduced him as George Ouzounian, author of several books, and told of his stalker (Dick Masterson) being the leader of a hate group. It also included "several links" which can be inferred led to Dick Lies or similar content. He also received emails from "both sides" though the meaning of this statement is unclear.

## **The Chinese Nightmare**

After Los Angeles County reported two cases of coronavirus infections, various public services began shutting down. In early March it was announced that gatherings in excess of 500 people were banned in the city of LA. This number was progressively reduced to 250, 200, 100, 50 and 2. On March 16th Dick announced via Twitter that the show was cancelled and refunds were being distributed. The following day he announced that he would restart his quest for a new venue "once martial law is over."

## **LA2**

*Road Rage* made its triumphant return on March 15th 2022. The show featured Nick Rekieta, Sean, Vito, Tony from Hack the Movies, and a Maddox mannequin in a coffin which fans were invited to leave Maddox merch in to be buried.