Jeff Stinco goes to Sesame Street

Jeff Stinco goes to Sesame Street

*This is the official transcript for Jeff Stinco goes to Sesame Street.*

(Love Is All's Spinning and Scratching plays)

Wow! Wow!

Boy, that wind sure is blowing! It came up all of a sudden!

It's really, really strange!

I mean, something must be going on up there with the weather.

Boy, it's kinda spooky, you know, weird.

What's that?

(Jeff Stinco screaming)

Waph!

(laughing)

Whoa! Oh!

Where am I? What is this place?

I'm feeling so nauseated in here.

What the hell is this place?

Please get me out of this place! Help!

Pop some water, David, I'm fine.

Jeff Stinco, played guitar.

Where'd you get this broom?

That's not a broom, that's my guitar.

When I play my guitar, and walked the streets, they looked at me with respect.

Nobody would dare spit on my face.

Until I came to a place called Sesame Street, and I didn't care much.

So yeah, I'm a singer-songwriter, and I'll never stop on that.

I've played the guitar too, I'll move on with that.

I've been writing songs since I was ten years old and playing the guitar since I was two.

What's wrong with that?

Aw, Jeff, what is this, some kind of a game?

No, this is not a game.

I don't know why I came here, I don't know what happened.

My kids also love Sesame Street too.

I'm doing it to get away from those Simple Plan guys.

They're trying to use me as a human machine!

Um, Jeff, don't pay any attention to those guys.

Just give us some water.

Thank you for that advice! I'll have some water.

Jeff!

It's raining inside the store!

It's not raining outside!

Um, I'm obsessed with rain. It kinda makes me feel better.

Better because I still can't be emo because I don't have hair.

Come on, come on!

Shh, stop!

Wow, that is so wet! You made it rain inside the store, I can't believe it!

It's not my fault the rain came and went into the store.

It's my fault for trying to meet those guys in Simple Plan in the first place.

They were too overprotective on me!

You know, I think you should just come back to singing again.

Yes, I would. I will get back into singing, doing what I love doing the most.

Those guys couldn't even carry a tune, in the same way I did today.

But I will sing again for all of you in here!

Hey guys!

Hi!

What's happening?

Hello there. Are you Big Bird?

Because I was just trying to record my fifth studio album until Simple Plan came and ripped me out.

Simple Plan?

Yes, Simple Plan.

Are you sure?

Oh yeah, I am sure!

I'm pretty sure those guys were trying to put a negative impact in my career.

Especially in my life.

You have a very strong imagination.

No, no, no, no, nah!

Simple Plan is the real reason why I can't sing!

Pierre Bouvier and Patrick Langlois destroyed all of my master recordings of all of my own songs in a fireplace, and I hate it so much!

Really?

Listen, you have got to save my life, because I can't deal with those crooks.

The crooks who destroyed me as the artist I am today.

Jeff Stinco, a literal human being.

I'm very vulnerable of what I can do.

Well, well, no!

No, I'm not going to!

I'm a very brave bird.

And I'm not afraid.

I'm your friend, I'm gonna stay here and help you.

If there's a witch bothering you, I'm gonna help.

Thank you, Big Bird! You are the best!

Just don't let Pierre know I'm supposed to be performing with him live, all right!

Okay, let's see.

If I'm gonna help find a witch or something, I guess, I guess I'll get your singing career back.

Yes, my singing career back.

Hey, this will do good.

No, no, no, not Jeff Stinco!

Um, Big Bird, why you holding me? Put me down.

Wow! You are very adorable!

Aren't you, Jeff?

Well, I'm not used to big birds like you holding me up, I'm afraid.

The witch! Oh, that's the witch!

Oh! Well, uh...

I'm so sorry for dropping you, Jeff.

I promise I will get you your singing career back in no time!

Thank you so much, Big Bird!

I couldn't been a better person without you!

Anyways, can I get to Mr. Snuffleupagus over there?

I think he's really cool.

Yeah.

No!

Well then, I'm not your fine feathered friend!

And I'm not your always forgotten bald headed friend!

I'm still gonna sing my heart out, regardless on how much I feel.

Oh, then I guess I'm your next biggest fan.

Right, Stink Eat Can, is that what they're called?

No, it's Stinc Icon. That's what my fans are called.

Until they went on and changed it to Astronauts.

I hate that name so much, I wanna burn it in the trash!

Wow! Gee whiz!

Oh, look at that! A feather duster!

Well, they wouldn't turn me into a feather duster, would they?

Well, anyway, I'm not afraid, Jeff.

I'm gonna stay here and help you protect your singing career from those Simple Plan guys.

What? That's a great idea!

Thank you so much for that!

I am so sad right now.

Why did my singing career had to be dead? Why? Why?

Why can't anyone remember me for how talented I am?

Why can't people get my age right?

Why can't I look less frightening and beautiful?

Why can't Simple Plan make me look ugly for once, all right?

Just why? That's all I needed to know.

Why?

You know something?

You have got to be the most beautiful person I have ever seen.

Thank you very much!

You're making me want to cry.

I can't do this anymore.

I don't know what I wanted to do right now.

(crying)

Wow, I think I'm in love!

Sesame Street, please save my life.

I would die for all of the Muppets to do something for me in change, than fighting it with Simple Plan.

Jeff, you don't have to worry when ol' Big Bird's on duty here!

No sirree! No wicked witch is gonna get past me!

Yes sirree! I'm on guard!

Oh, uh, yeah? Hello!

Jeff Stinco's coming in as a customer, David!

Okay.

Where is those Simple Plan guys? I'll fix them.

Oh, hello!

Hello!

Hello!

Hi!

You're new, aren't you, around here?

Sorry, I don't want anything!

I've just tried to figure out my best natural complexion as a struggling actor.

Wow, you sure did came at a crazy time.

Oh, yes, you did.

Yeah, but the truth is, I'm not an actor.

I'm a musician, and I only came here because I just wanted my singing career back.

We're so close to figuring you out as the true Jeff Stinco from the 90s.

I didn't know you was a singer.

I thought you was just a guitarist.

Well, I'm a singer.

I literally lived down the street from Céline Dion, because she was from my town in Montréal.

I aspired to be like her, and wanted to play the guitar since I was a little kid.

I learned so much from my inspirations, because they were my motivations for music, you know?

Oh, so your singing is very important to you?

Yes, yes, yes! Very, very important to me! I love singing!

Really? That's actually great!

Would you like a cup of coffee or something?

No, I don't want coffee!

Coffee sucks! It's not fun!

I want to take some water instead.

Oh, okay.

Uh, you know, and you know what you wanted?

I mean, there's a whole thing! This whole thing!

This whole broom! This whole broom!

I mean, that old thing! This whole thing!

Well, what does he want that for?

Well, we don't know.

That's my guitar, obviously.

This whole thing, I mean, it's...

I'll love to play it with you guys!

And also give me a microphone so I can carry on my singing.

To further showcase my wonderful singing voice for once.

Would you excuse me, just a moment, just for a minute?

Well, you know, just for a minute, I'll be right back.

Come, Maria.

What's the matter?

Jeff Stinco wants to sing, but his band wouldn't let him.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know, I don't know.

Why don't you just get him to sing again, and play his guitar for once?

Yeah, that guy is constantly whining about his singing. He can't sing!

Shh!

I mean, Jeff sounds so terrible when he sings.

I'm not giving him a microphone, because Pierre is a way better singer than him.

I got it.

What?

I just came up with a idea.

It's a way that, maybe I'll take back what I said about him being a singer for once.

I'll give Jeff what he truly wanted in his life back, and hopefully he'll be able to perform here on Sesame Street.

So we both win.

Come on.

(whistling)

You know, you are a very talented singer and you can really sing your heart out.

Unlike Pierre and those other guys.

Here is a microphone for you if you'll like to keep it.

In my opinion, you're way better than Justin Bieber, and you can sing way better than him.

Here's your microphone, Jeff.

Thank you for the microphone, David! I'm excited you said that to me.

Now I will get ready to perform live on stage, just so that I can showcase a part of who I am today as an artist.

You guys are the best!

A nice guy like you! I didn't think a nice guy would think that way.

So I mean you, you can ask me real nice, could you, if you want to sing on Sesame Street.

Yes, I can!

Sure, you could! How about it?

Well, if I want to believe in myself, then yes.

I can say that I believe in my own heart and my true love for music.

I've always been passionate about that, you know?

And if you can say that I can sing way better than Justin Bieber, then yes.

The rumors are true, I can sing way better than him!

Uh, certainly.

Oh my god, my guitar! I just can't believe you!

Thank you, David! Thank you, Maria! Thank you, Sesame Street!

Now, if I can just turn on my microphone for once.

Uh, happy birthday!

And now that you, and now that you got it, what are you gonna do?

I'm gonna sing my heart out, and show my real talent to the world!

But only because I didn't realize what Sesame Street meant to me!

Tee-hee!

(mumbling on microphone)

You did it!

(laughs)

You did it!

I'm so glad he's leaving.

Oh, not me.

I'm glad he came here, because it was very interesting and really exciting!

Exciting? This whole entire experience was not exciting!

It was... Stinco-tacular!

You guys saved my life!

I couldn't have done this without you.

Thank you so much, Maria, David, Big Bird, and the children of Sesame Street!

Now, I will sing a song you guys will so love for me, and I'm sure you all will love this one!

Hit it!

(singing Kate Bush's Running Up That Hill)