Damien Fahey, Our Close Friend

**"Damien Fahey, Our Close Friend"** is the eighth episode of Hollywood Handbook.

Official Earwolf Page

## Earwolf Synopsis

Sean and Hayes describe their favorite online grocery store TV shows and reveal the truth behind salacious Hollywood events as they read some blind items during Draw The Blinds Up. Then, DAMIEN FAHEY arrives to recall how Sean & Hayes ushered in the new age of music being associated with visual entertainment back when he hosted *TRL*, dish on who came to him for music video ideas, and cools off by offering nickname tips while answering questions from the Popcorn Gallery.

## Notes & Memorable Quotes

### Pre-Guest Segments

* The guys go over their favorite streaming TV shows on Amazon. To check em out yourself, just go to amazon.com/product/TV/showtime/watch-TV/funny and download the plug-in, and if your software is up to date and able to support their specific player, you can start to watch part of their shows
* Amazon has come out with a lot of shows. *Browsers,* *The Internet Boys.*
* The guys' favorites
	+ Sean - *Gamma Guys.* From the online grocery store that brought you *Alpha House* and *Betas.* Two dudes who work in a chewing gum factory, must come up with a new flavor by midnight in the pilot. Sean does a culturally sensitive Mr. Nagahashi voice. A true on-screen friendship. Likeable guys, a little bit of work. Starring the cast of the In-Betweeners
	+ Hayes - *Primetime.* Starring Wyatt Cynac as a guy who wins an Amazon Prime subscription in the lottery, uses it to become the first guy to kiss every book. The trouble begins when his mailman is played by the very underrated Allison Becker, comes along, and he actually starts falling in love with her, and he starts to wonder if kissing all the books is really the thing for him. Kisses a scary mystery book in the pilot and has to hide under his bed. This is relatable, because books like *Frankenstein* and *Dracula*, just hearing the name gives you chills.
* Hayes is not allowed to say Frankenstein anymore. Must say Mary Shelley's Monstrous Creation.

### Guest Segment

* Hayes and Sean ushered in rock-rave-comedy with their single and video "I Makey a Canoe."
* Damien details how he got his job on TRL. MTV had him go into a room with just a chalk board and draw what he had in mind. He drew his name, and then erased it.
* First four years of TRL people thought Damien was named Nathan Garbanzo
* Sean loves listening to HH down in the tub with a bottle of chardonnay. A most relaxing way to spend an evening. Damien does the same thing, but likes it in a hot tub. Needs a bit more room.
* Damien also helped out with the Snoop & Dre "Big Booty Hoes" video. Taught them about sharking.
* Damien's idea to get the TRL studio full of 13 year old girls. They're actually more sexually mature than society will give them credit for.
* Everyone operates within the law, but the number "18" is so random. The only case when "random" is bad. Sean says "random" when he likes something for comedy.
* Hayes loves ancient Rome. It was illegal to have sex with a girl over 15 years old. These guys built the Aqueduct! They invented democracy, we think that's a pretty good idea!
* Hayes love Shakespeare. Juliet was *6 years old!*
* Sean has met 25 year old women who have no business being around a *boudoir.*
* "Let's get our toesies wet."
* Damien cancelled *TRL* when it was on top, Sean gets mad at Vince Gillian when he's in those interviews and he's not saying that
* *The Voice* winners have been hideous monsters, and much too old. Some of them were in their *30s*
* Sean doesn't have the vision for vacuuming
* Like the Hollywood Handbook facebook page, there are some funny photoshops. Willy Wonka with his fist on his head, being condescending. There's this friggin' cat who's got some kind of an attitude, and he's not pleased.
* The guys say goodbye to Engineer Frank. Hayes will always remember when he couldn't get the music to play at the beginning of the episode because the input and output jacks were switched (this recording). Sean will remember the time he didn't know to lower the music so they could talk over it. Those little touches you remember about someone when you work with them for this long. Difficult to transition to everything running smoothly.
* Damien "I've got a hard out, by the way. Just you guys know. I didn't mention that in the e-mail but I've got about two more minutes." Sean - "Well fuckin' take off then."

## Recurring Segments

* Draw the Blinds Up
	+ "This former A++-list politician visited a film set in NYC, and spent 45 minutes in the trailer with his main squeeze actress friend. Well, not main squeeze, I mean the guy is is married. No one even bat an eye that the two were spending time alone in her trailer. This is the second time he visited set, but the first time that the trailer was rocking." S+H were there, supervising. Reveal: **President Jimmy Carter**. He was fingering Jennifer Lawrence, not having sex. Fingerblasting. Deep-digit loving. Never once exposed himself. Wasn't even fully hard. On the set of *Devil,* the elevator movie sequel, the *Devil Went Down to P2.*
	+ "This reality start demanded c\*caine from strangers at a house party during a night out of town away from prying eyes of his significant other." Reveal: "Demanded" was a pretty strong word for what **Jimmy Carter** did. Asked politely, he said "Where the cocaine at?" Chopped up big fat fuckin gorilla fingers on their mirrored coffee table and was schwackin' em back like a total boss. Not demand, offered freely. And J-Law is not his significant other after one finger blast.
	+ "At the Aspen Comedy Festival a few years ago, this comedian invited a female comedy duo to his hotel room. The two ladies gladly joined him and offered him some weed. He turned it down, but asked if it would be OK if he took his dick out. Thinking he was joking, the women gave a facetious thumbs up. He wasn't joking. When he actually started jerking off, the ladies decided this wasn't their bag and made for their exit, but he used his body to block the door until he finished." They actually got this one right. **Aziz Ansari** and **Garfunkel and Oates.**
* Popcorn Gallery
	1. Scoops - I understand your nickname is 'The D-Man'. How can I get a cool nickname like this?
		+ Scoops is already pretty cool. Can't really do much with that.
	2. Toby Keith Sweat - You were a guest on Cupcake Wars once. My questions is, how did you keep from eating every friggin cupcake in that joint?
		+ Well it wasn't easy, and who said I didn't?
	3. Freja - ..."for each topping". (Guest requested to only hear that last 3 words of the question due to his dislike for Freja's name)
		+ No. Absolutely not.
* Pro Version - Chanson. Subscribers get a signed headphone cord from Hayes. Damien announces Chanson as the number one music video of 2009

## Recurring Jokes

* Doesn't Own a TV - hard for Sean to catch up on the Amazon shows because... doesn't own TV. Needs to catch up on reality shows
* Too Scary - books like *Frankenstein* and *Dracula*, just hearing the name gives you chills. Hayes is not allowed to say Frankenstein anymore. Must say Mary Shelley's Monstrous Creation.
* Wife and KIds - some of these girls Hayes's daughter does tap with gets a trophy. Sean has to be calmed down regarding this.
* Everyone Gets a Trophy - Dance girls all get em'.
* Rando - Everyone operates within the law, but the number "18" is so random. The only case when "random" is bad. Sean says "random" when he likes something for comedy.
* Shakespeare - Hayes love Shakespeare. Juliet was *6 years old!*

## Ads

* Earwolf Store Black Friday Sale - Sean does it in a deep, faux announcer voice

## Episode Photos

*(left to right)* Hayes Davenport, Damien Fahey, Sean ClementsHayes, Sean, and Damien Fahey in the studioSean and Damien Fahey in the studioHayes in the studio