Common Cents

**Common Cents**is episode 89b of Edward and Eric. It premiered on Kids' WB on May 18, 2002.

## Synopsis

While taking Chip out for a walk and doing his usual business, Principal Walker notices Chip has detected a stash of gold underneath Peach Tree National Bank, which prompts him to get his children to join him for a bank heist. However, once the robbery is in action, it all goes downhill when the police joins the scene. But, they don't want to arrest them for breaking the law - they want to arrest them because they also want the gold!

## Cast (WIP)

* Andrew Rannells as Edward, Bank Teller, The Narrator, Cop Chris and SWAT Agent #1
* Mike Pollock as Principal Walker and SWAT Agent #2
* Frank Welker as Chip and SWAT Agent #3
* Wayne Grayson as Aloysius and SWAT Agent #4
* Ted Lewis as Emile
* Gary Sauls as Officer Owen
* Edward Felker as SWAT Agent #5
* Tress MacNeille as Diane and Woman

## Trivia

* Although this episode premiered in 2002, it was produced in 2001 according to the copyright date at the end of the credits.
* The title is an obvious play on words with "common sense".
* Edward appears at the beginning to break the fourth wall and doesn't appear again until the last three minutes of the episode, making him a minor character in this episode. This is one of the very, very rare instances where that's the case.
	+ Additionally, none of the other members of The Lucky 6 appear, although Eric is mentioned by Edward at the beginning.

### Errors

* During the shot of Walker exiting the bank at the beginning, it's spelled as "**Peachtree**National Bank" instead of "Peach Tree".
* When Walker yells "Ow, my eyes!", his outline disappears.
* When Aloysius asks Walker how he'll be without Diane, his lip syncing is off. There are also no frames between that line and "Hey, you'll be able to afford that divorce", thus causing a "jump" in the animation.

## Transcript

(The episode opens with a line at the bank)

**Bank Teller:**(to Esmond) Sir, this is a bank, not therapy.

(Esmond walks off grunting angrily)

**Bank Teller:**Next!

(Walker walks up, with Chip on a leash)

**Bank Teller:**(scared) I'll give you our money, just don't hurt me!

**Principal Walker:**Easy there, tiger, I'm not here for that today. Rent isn't due until next week.

**Bank Teller:**(relieved) Oh.

**Principal Walker:**I'm taking myself out to eat, so I need some mula, comprende?

**Bank Teller:**What about your son?

**Principal Walker:**Son? What son? The sun? I have no son!

(Chip bites Walker's leg, and he yelps in pain)

**Bank Teller:**May I please see your identification?

(Walker hands him a card, and we see a closeup of it. The card is that of an elderly woman)

**Bank Teller:**This...isn't yours.

**Principal Walker:**Oops, wrong one!

**Bank Teller:**Let me guess, you have more stolen ones?

**Principal Walker:**Just give me the lettuce!

**Bank Teller:**(under his breath) Yeah, ya could use a diet.

**Principal Walker:**Pardon?

**Bank Teller:**(hands him a bag of money) PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!

(Walker and Chip walk out of the bank)

(The bank teller looks both ways, and stands back up)

**Bank Teller:**Next.

**Edward:**(walks up) I need to pay off any damage my brother might've caused any episodes prior.

(Camera cuts to the sidewalk)

(Suddenly, Chip smells something and constantly sniffs. Walker screams as he gets dragged away, and he constantly hits the ground. Then he stops and constantly pants heavily, with his tongue sticking out)

**Principal Walker:**What is it, boy?

**Chip:**(barks)

**Principal Walker:**Gold? Under the... (he lets out a big grin, and his pupils turn into dollar signs, but then he realizes this) OW! MY EYES!

**Chip:**(barks)

**Principal Walker:**Why yes, you read my mind! Chip, get your balaclava ready, because me, you and your brothers are going to rob this bank!

(Chip gives him a thumbs up, and he violently rips his skin off, revealing another Chip underneath him. The Chip is wearing a black suit with a red tie, black shoes and a balaclava)

(Cut to Walker's basement apartment)

**Principal Walker:**Now listen up, brats! Chip has detected an entire stash of gold underneath the local bank, and we are going to loot it!

(Cricket chirp)

(It turns out Chip is just imitating the sounds of a cricket with his mouth)

**Emile:**Whoa. Impressive.

**Principal Walker:**If none of you help me out, you're missing out on all your dreams and immense wealth!

**Aloysius:**Hey, you'll be able to afford that divorce. How would the world be without Mom?

(Walker ponders, and we see an imagination sequence. In it, we see Walker finding the cure for the common cold, being able to afford a lifetime supply of popcorn which floods the apartment, relaxing at a spa, and dominating the world)

**Aloysius:**Whoa, not that last part! Kids are watching this, and their parents might get ideas you're a bad influence.

**Principal Walker:**(facepalms so hard his eyeballs stretch, revealing his eye's arteries, and he lets go, causing his eyes to slap his face) Aloysius, when have I EVER been a positive influence?

(Chip imitates the sounds of a cricket again)

**Principal Walker:**Now, do you want to continue living like this?

**Everyone:**No!

**Principal Walker:**Then let's get to getting some GOLD! Woo!

**Everyone:**YEAH!

**Principal Walker:**(lets out a diabolical laugh) Perfect! (laughs some more)

(Suddenly, we hear a record scratch, halting the evil background music)

**Principal Walker:**But first, (takes out a few machine guns) we need to test your long-range skills.

(Cut to Walker training his children. The targets are empty soda bottles. Chip takes the first crack, and he manages to make a perfect shot. Emile blindfolds himself and makes a perfect shot as well. Aloysius is anxious, and he tries to shoot)

(The camera cuts to the gun's scope. Aloysius unintentionally aims for The Mayor and shoots his head offscreen. Walker facepalms)