Firmus Piett (LadyVader)/Quotes

Quotes by Firmus Piett

## ACADEMY YEARS

> ("Are you always so stupid, or is today a special occasion, Tarkin?")
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Tarkin: "You're dead, Piett." Firmus: "Funny, you'd think I would have stopped walking around. . . ."

Tarkin: "Are you always a wise-ass?" Firmus: "No, sometimes I'm asleep."

Tarkin: "What an unpleasant surprise." Firmus: "I aim to please."

Tarkin: "I didn't come here to be insulted, Piett." Firmus: "Oh? Where do you usually go?"

> ("Let me make this as...monosyllabic as possible. I think Tarkin's a. . . . how did I explain it this morning before a caf break? A ludicrous galoot. There it is, sheer poetry.")
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{{quote|("I'm so tired of slitting the throats of beings who say I'm a violent psychopath.")|Firmus Piett (LadyVader)/Quotes}

{{quote|("I don't hate them, I'm just not necessarily excited about their existence" )|Firmus Piett (LadyVader)/Quotes} (originally about Lorth Needa and Tarkin)

> "Who left the bag of idiots open?"
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> ("Congratulations! You’ve managed to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit again. Would you like an award for that!”)
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> ("Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.")
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> ("I don’t understand your specific kind of crazy but I do admire your total commitment to it.”)
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> ("I’m allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm.”)
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> ("Generally, I'm a nice person, just don't push the asshole button.")
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> ("You are either on my side, by my side, or in my karking way. Choose wisely.”)
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> ("Don’t ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance and my kindness for weakness.”)
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> ("Some days I really believe that my horoscope is going to say: 'Just don’t karking kill anyone today.)
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> ("Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a kark.)
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> ("If you want a high performance bastard I can go from zero to asshole in one point two seconds.)
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> ("I don't mind you talking so much as long as you don't mind me not listening . . .)
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> ("I have a firm grip on reality. . . by the throat.")
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> There's no need to repeat yourself, I ignored you just fine the first time.)
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> My moods don't just swing, they bounce, pivot, recoil, rebound, oscillate, fluctuate and occasionally pirouette.)
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> Some people were dropped as a baby. You were clearly thrown in the air, smacked by an oscilllator, bounced off a wall, and thrown out the window.)
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> Just checking on you. I was passing by, heard a loud pop and thought you may have removed your head from your ass.)
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> When you want to hit someone but can't decide which face to hit. . .)
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> Sarchotic. When you're so sarcastic beings aren't sure if you're joking or if you're just psychotic.)
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"Why don't you slip into something more comfortable. . . like a coma?"

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This is a gallery of quotes regarding, concerning, and by Firmus Piett (LadyVader)

Don't force our child into anything when they turn eight. If he or she chooses to join the Jedi Order (LadyVader), I'll respect their decision. But please, I'm begging you all, on my knees, for my sake and the sake of the Force, don't force them into it. It should be my child's decision, **not** anyone else's."

Qui-Gon Jinn (LadyVader) to the Jedi Council

Firmus, my little one. . .I'm so, so proud of you. . . . I love you both, always. . . . .|Qui-Gon

Academy Days=

Hey Piett, they flush beings' heads down the head first day. Want to practice?

No thanks, Ozzel. The poor head's never had anything as horrible as YOUR fat head stuck down it; it might be sick.- Firmus

graduation speech

*Don’t get me too excited because I use four letter words when I get excited. (Credit- Bono)*

*I graduated from the University of Life. I received a degree from the School of Hard Knocks, and our colors were black and blue, baby. We had office hours with the Dean of Bloody Noses. I borrowed my class notes from Professor Knuckle Sandwich and his Teaching Assistant, Miss Fat Lip Thon Nyun. That’s the kind of school I went to, for real...(Credit- Will Ferrell)*

## Off-Duty

"I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time."

"I'm smiling. This should scare you."

"If I want your opinion, I'll read it in your entrails."- to Ozzel

> "Sometimes I need what only you can provide. Your absence.)
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> I am currently experiencing life at the speed of fifteen what the karks per hour.)
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> (I love everybody. some i love to be around, some i love to avoid, and others i would love to punch in the face with a smile.)
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"Oh kark!"

"Looked like he got kicked in the knee!"

"Nope."

What's wrong, Firmus?"

"That wasn't his knee. . . not every being keeps their genitals in the same place."- Firmus and Remus, after witnessing a barfight

## Aboard The Lady Ex

There is only one question that comes to mind when I see him."

"Only one?"

" Yes... is anal retentive spelled with a hyphen?"- Firmus and Remus, referring to Tarkin

"You know, Firmus, there are beings out there that suffer from cranial-rectal reversal syndrome, shit for brains and talk out their ass." --Malcolm

"Everyone has the right to be stupid, but kark, he's abusing the privilege."

"He's not abusing it, he's molesting it." Firmus and Malcolm on Tarkin

## Firmus and Kendall Ozzel in an insult war

F: Whatever it is that's eating you. . . must be suffering horribly."

O: "When I woke up this morning I had one nerve left and someone's got on it already."

F: "I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload."

O: "I'm multi-talented, Piett: I can talk and piss you off at the same time."

F: "I'm smiling. This should scare you."

O: "Your head is so far up your ass I'm surprised you haven't shit it out yet!"

F: "I don't know what your problem is but it's hard to pronounce."

O: "I am currently experiencing life at the speed of fifteen what the karks per hour."

F: Unless you're a pair of saggy pants, stop riding my ass. . . . sir.

## Firmus and Anakin

"Surely you can't be serious sir!"

"I am serious. And don't call me Shirley."- Anakin

## Married Life

When explaining to Mother Kurzhal Vyzhara and Alcina Beillane how he felt about Avaria Beillane, Firmus referenced the tar pits.

"You asked me what the most important thing in my life was the day of the Selection. . . I can answer in one word: Avaria. She's the other half of my heart. She's not just my first love, she's my first, last and only. Her presence alone is exhilarating—breathtaking—amazing. She's my oxygen, the gush of air that keeps me thriving, my heart beating and pumping. Alcina. . . I'm nothing without your daughter. I'm not just saying that. . . I mean it! If Avaria were to join the Force before me, my universe would shatter. Stars would burn out ... My life would be and mean nothing without her. I would soon join her: I would go to the closest tar pit, walk out into it and wait until it took me. There'd be no more pain and my heart wouldn't hurt . . . We'd be together again. I would do this. . . if she were to go before me."

Kurzhal had a nightmare that night that was so intense she mistook it for a Force-vision; she witnessed Avaria's death and saw a heartbroken Firmus take his own life in a tar pit.

Avaria was my life, my soul, my everything, my only reason for living. I've been just existing up until now. . . but no more. I've chosen to rejoin the Force and the other half of my heart. I put an end to the shell that remains. My body will be found in the tar pit north of Dreaming River Valley; my lightsaber will be found on the ground near the place I went in. I ask that when it's recovered. . . that I be given a Dathomiri funeral and laid to rest beside Avaria. Bury me in my old uniform. Nexu out."

It's magic each time we hold each other, each time we cuddle, and each time we kiss. I feel goosebumps all over again. I never want to let you go for fear of losing you, so I just hold on a little bit tighter each day, refusing to let go. You will never know the warmth I feel inside me when I'm with you. You're all I ever wanted."- Firmus to Avaria

"look at that herd of reek over there"

"Heard of reek? sure I heard of reek"

"no, a reek herd"

"What do I care what a reek heard? I've got no secrets from a reek"

*"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my son go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."*

— **Firmus Piett**

Firmus' medical records listed his cause of physical death as congestive heart failure.

Before he crossed, Firmus quoted his version of Robert N. Test's poem "To Remember Me" to let his family know what he wanted done after he joined the Force.

**To Remember Me - I will live forever****Robert N. Test****The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of** **a mattress located in a hospital; busily occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.**

**When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine.** **And don't call this my deathbed. Let it be called the bed of life, and let my body be taken from it to** **help others lead fuller lives.**

**Give my sight to the being who has never seen a sunrise, a youngling's face or love in the eyes of a loved one.** **Give my heart to a being whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.**

**Give my blood to the being who was pulled from the wreckage of their speeder, so that they might live to see their grandchildren play.**

**Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week.**

**Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled youngling walk.**

**Explore every corner of my brain.**

**Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that, someday a deaf youngling will hear the sound of rain against her window.**

**Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.**

**If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weakness and all prejudice against my fellow man.**

Give my soul to the Force.

**(Give my sins to the devil.**

**Give my soul to God.)**

**If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you.** **If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.**

**Robert N. Test**

Remus and Romulus had to come and get him.

Firmus' last words to Avaria before he joined the Force: I love you. . . always. . . mitawa cante, mitawa nagi. There is no death, there is the Force. I'll wait for you until we're reunited. I won't leave. Give my lightsaber to Qui-Gon and Dad's to Angel. I had a vision of them spearheading the Jedi return to Dathomir, they're going to become great Masters in the future. We're only separated physically now. I'll be watching over you.

His lungs saved a Cathar father, Horbyn Norgas. Horbyn named his first son in honor of the human who saved his life.