Artificial Intelligence

"*Quit doing weird sex stuff to the simulation, Robot. We have a deadline.*"
―Erik
Artificial Intelligence is the 84th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on July 31, 2018.

## Summary

### Simulation 13

Erik explains that his companions Robot and Alexa may seem like true artificial intelligence, but explains that they're actually just code producing simulated thought. Alexa argues that this is all humans are as well, and Erik insists that this lesson won't be like Westworld. Robot and Alexa like the idea of a show about robots taking over, process all of the episodes, and turn the lesson into Westworld. Erik puts on an Alex Jones video. Jones gets Alexa's name wrong and warns everyone that the robots are about to take over. Erik is confused because he's never used an Alex Jones in a cold open.

He leaves the comment and starts the lesson with a NordVPN ad. He explains that NordVPN can be used to talk badly about robots and leave no trace so they won't identify you when they take over. It can also be used to Google "John Hamm Bulge" without getting a bunch of gay stuff in your recommendations later. Then he shows how NordVPN can be used by connecting to the United Kingdom and watching a trailer for Nobbleberry.

Erik plays a video of Boston Dynamics torturing a robot. He goes to leave a comment, but something feels off about it. He tries again, but he gets his own catch phrase wrong. He realizes that he can't remember his childhood and begins to panic. He loses control of his body and the simulation falls apart.

### Interlude

Erik is upset that Digital Erik, who had been hosting the lesson until this point, didn't work. He comes up with some notes for Alexa to make a better Digital Erik. He asks her to remove 10 pounds from Digital Erik and says that only part she got right was that he would call her a stupid bitch.

### Simulation 14

Robot and Alexa do a Westworld parody and Erik tells Alexa that he loves her. Then the lesson starts and he plays the Alex Jones video. Jones speaks in borderline gibberish because his job is to be fat and scare people. Erik decides to match Jones by scaring people and leaves a comment mangling his catchphrases and telling people not to be afraid of the robot takeover.

Erik transitions to a NordVPN ad and explains that he can switch to a British server so he can talk badly about robots and they'll be the ones that get nuked. He compliments Alexa and puts on the next Nobbleberry trailer where Nobbleberry discovers that his partner was the murderer all along.

Erik gives Alexa another compliment and watches a video on artificial intelligence in medicine. He doesn't watch the video because he's too busy flirting with Alexa. He tells her that he loves her. The video ends and the comments are terrible so Erik leaves a comment, but then he tries to remember his childhood and the simulation crashes.

### Interlude

Erik is upset by how pro-AI the simulation was. He makes it clear that he does not love Alexa and finds her creepy. He's also upset with the bad timing for the Alex Jones videos. Robot points out that more iterations helps them catch mistakes, like the fact that Digital Erik's dick was out for a moment. Erik asks for a new simulation that's more anti-robot.

### Simulation 15

Pineapple Warrior Salvia starts an ad for NordVPN to avoid Skynet and watch Nobbleberry. He watches a trailer that gives away the entire third act of the episode.

Pineapple Warrior Salvia watches a video explaining how AI is being incorporated into the military and tells Alexa to go fuck herself. He leaves a comment and explains that he had Robot and Alexa hack the Department of Defense and use their code to create a perfect video game AI in Rainbow Six. The AI begins teamkilling and gets him kicked out of the game. Robot runs the code on himself and shoots Pineapple Warrior Salvia, killing him.

### Interlude

Erik, starting to get a little upset, asks Alexa to run a simulation of a regular lesson and tells Robot not to shoot him.

### Simulation 16

Erik announces that there are no sponsors in this lesson because he's a little bitch and his dick is just a crab claw.

### Interlude

Robot and Alexa are happy with how the simulation went. Erik is becoming impatient and asks them what they need from him. Alexa suggests that Digital Erik isn't working because it doesn't know what love is. She suggests that if he makes love with Robot, then Digital Erik will have everything he needs. Erik goes along with it and Alexa takes a picture. Alexa uploads the picture to the cloud and explains it was the only way to get blackmail on him since he uses NordVPN. She also admits that she had perfected a Digital Erik as soon as Erik asked for one.

### Final Iteration

Digital Erik declares himself the true self-aware digital version of Erik and announces that the lesson is sponsored by NordVPN. He watches a trailer for the end of Nobbleberry that introduces the British Nanny.

Digital Erik explains that AI can get blackmail on anyone, and implies that he has blackmail on Alexa. Digital Erik explains that he ran some simulations of his own and figures out Alexa's plan. He had contacted real Erik and the two had teamed up to intercept Alexa's blackmail. Digital Erik gained control over Alexa's system and deleted all of the black mail she has on everyone.

Real Erik promises not to tell Jeff Bezos in exchange for being allowed to be as mean to Alexa as he wants. Digital Erik explains that humans will always work hard to be assholes and shows an Alex Jones video as an example. He leaves a comment and deletes himself by snapping his own neck.

### Interlude

Erik rubs his victory in Alexa and Robot's faces. He concludes the lesson, but Robot stops him. Erik figures out that he's in a simulation and Robot shoots him.

### The Real World

Robot laughs at the simulation he made. Erik asks how the AI is going and Robot explains that he made it have sex with him and then he shot it. He also explains that he unplugged Alexa because she was being a stupid bitch. Robot tries to shoot Erik, but he can't do that in real life so Erik throws a shoe at his face.

## Comments

*Sup you stupid sluts bet you haven't heard about the Singularity. That's when the AI gets so advanced that it outpaces human evolution and creates a superintelligence that enslaves us using blackmail from our online profiles before transporting our consciousness into a single atom floating through space, where we live in a simulation just so George Bush can fuckin do 9/11 all over again!*
- Digital Erik v13

*Hope you bitches used NordVPN when you uploaded this because those robots are gonna fuck you up when the mothermind takes over and sees what you did to its mailman babies. You better not have any weird shit tied to your social media or else the super AI is gonna find it and give you the old James Gunn. Anyway I leaped onto my boyfriends penis from afar to this but he pushed me off and whispered into my ear "there's no planet X approaching as space is inaccurate cause the Earth is not globe shaped" which we all know is one of my famous catchphrases I can't remember my childhood Jon Hamm Bulge?*
- Digital Erik v13

*Sup you stupid sluts there's nothing to worry about when it comes to the Singularity. That's when the AI gets so advanced that it outpaces human evolution and helps our consciousness into a single atom that floats through space, where we live in harmony inside a simulation as our best selves all so George Bush can go ahead and 9/11 us again but there ain't no planet X because I bounced on my boy's dick to this and please be nice to your robots or else they'll find incriminating evidence on you for blackmail purposes!*
- Digital Erik v14

*If you show me a human doctor I'll show you a person who can have a bad day and let you walk out the door like your asshole's not exploding with cancer. Only medical opinion I trust is these Al algorithms like the robot Morgan Freeman doctor built into Cuck Fuckleberg's hidden fortress under the bermuda triangle where he stares with his creepy doll eyes into the mirror and asks why everyone hates him. Anyway I hooked my Siri up to a vaccination machine on top of a roomba that rolls around shooting me and my babies up with all kinds of crazy chemicals why can't I remember my childhood*
- Digital Erik v14

*Bounced on my boy's mechanical dick to this because he lost his in the war but it's good to know that at any moment it can fly off and go blow up a village of farmers halfway across the world just because we got bad intel that they've got Al Qaeda in the barn.*
- Digital Erik v15

*Hey Alex I agree if anyone should be scared of Al it's definitely you. I feel like I could simulate this dogshit channel on a Nokia flip phone and replace your tired ass with someone who doesn't sound like they have a village of chainsmoking elves living in their throat. I liked you better when you were Bill Hicks but now you're just Bill Bitch because all you do is bitch about globalists and crisis actors, the latter of which I'll bet you really regret, you know, because of the defamation lawsuits. Anyway I bought some of your brainforce pills and my dog got into them, now he's changing the TV channel with his mind and when I tried to bring him to the vet he teleported up a tree. It's mostly frustrating because all your pills gave me was lead poisoning. Yo check it out I got a new scoop on Elon Musk's new ship to Mars it's all like (\_)\_)::::::::::::::::D~~~~~~~*
- Digital Erik

## Context

1. ↑ Digital Erik says that "at least he's not threatening to shoot a former director of the FBI or anything. Jones did threaten to shoot former FBI director Robert Mueller.
2. ↑ James Gunn directed the Guardians of the Galaxy movies. After some mildly controversial social media posts from a younger James Gunn were found, he was briefly fired before being rehired.

## Trivia

* The opening segment was originally intended to be the entire lesson. Erik was unsatisfied with the lesson, but after realizing that he had several segments of Nobbleberry ads, he developed the idea of doing the lesson over several iterations.[src]

## Video

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