Episode 251 - All According to Plan

## Intro

**Episode description:**
N/A

**Opening Quote:**
N/A

**Player introduction:**
**Sean**: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Tabletop Champions podcast, I'm Sean your dungeon master and - one second. *\*crinkling noise\** Snap and do a slim jim. That is so much less exciting than I thought it was going to be.
**Lauren**: I was like "Is he doing ASMR?"
**Kyle**: That's such a squish, it's not a snap.
**Sean**: It's not a snap, they don't snap. It's unfortunate. Anyway, tonight with me I have Kyle who plays Barry Dingle...
**Kyle**: *\*seltzer can opening\** Uhh, grip it and rip it.
**Sean**: Stephanie who plays... oh, fuck, what's your character's name?
**Kyle**: Kuviana.
**Sean**: Kuviana...
**Stephanie**: *\*seltzer can opening\* \*laughs\** I actually don't know what you guys say, gribbit and ribbits?
**Lauren**: Eh. Close enough.
**Kyle**: Yeah that's it.
**Sean**: Gribbits and ribbits.
**Stephanie**: Okay, gribbits and ribbits!
**Sean**: Gribbits and ribbits! Lauren who plays Ophelia...
**Lauren**: How do vampires drink blood? Through a Strahd!
**Sean**: Don't worry I gotchu. *\*seltzer can opening\** Mmmm. Grip it and rip it. Gribbits and ribbits. Matt who plays Wrath...
**Matt**: I kind of feel bad, I don't have a can but I'm also on a diet, so no sodas.
**Kyle**: *\*seltzer can opening\** Gribbits and ribbits!
**Sean**: Gribbits and ribbits! And Ben who plays Balinor.
**Ben *(in Balinor's voice)***: Hello.
**Stephanie**: *\*seltzer can opening\**
**Sean**: Oh god damn it Ben, here. *\*seltzer can opening\** Don't worry, I've got another one too. Gribbits and ribbits.
**Stephanie**: Gribbits and ribbits! I don't know what it is. I have so many seltzers now.
**Sean**: And thus the goof is born. Hey guys!
**Lauren**: Hi Sean.
**Sean**: Oh man, I'm like - I'm gonna cry. That was hilarious.
**Matt**: You're gonna pee so much.
**Sean**: I have two -
**Stephanie**: Oh yeah. I'm gonna - I'm gonna have to dip.
**Lauren**: Oh my god.
**Kyle**: It's fine. We got another -
**Sean**: I got a - right?
**Kyle**: We got another four seltzer game going, let's see what we can do.
**Sean**: Hey, I got a two seltzer and a slim jim game going, so.
**Kyle**: For the listeners at home, I've got two watermelons, one raspberry, and a grape.
**Sean**: And I have two Topo Chico twist of limes, so we're doing a six pack tonight, Kyle.
**Matt**: Jesus.
**Kyle**: Alright.
**Stephanie**: I have strawberry and lemon lime. Two lemon lime and a strawberry. I got this.
**Matt**: I have a gallon of water.
**Sean**: I did all that by memory, I'm gonna log in to Roll20 now.
**Stephanie**: Good job.
**Sean**: Actually the first time I fucked it up, I couldn't think of Stephanie's character's name. But whatever, we're gonna pretend we did it right.

## Episode Summary

The episode begins with Wrath, Kuviana, and Ophelia in the southern party. Evelyn Dibblebeck comes to make sure they're enjoying themselves, and to offer a tour of the mansion. They agree, and she shows them various rooms. At one point, she pulls a lever and a bookcase shifts to reveal a door. She fumbles with keys for a moment, and Ophelia and Kuviana hear something from the other side. As she opens the door, they someone quickly duck into a closet in the next room. Evelyn demands that they show themselves, and Balinor sheepishly steps out. He claims a mouse ran in, and he was trying to get rid of it. She doesn't believe him, and calls guards. Kuviana tells her that forgiveness is a central tenet of Fami culture, and convinces her not to arrest him. Evelyn does fire Balinor, however, and guards escort him out.

Evelyn tells them she has an interest in history, and some people she knows came across an interesting relic. She asks if they're familiar with the Obulus. Barry knows about the Oculus, but no one else knows about it. She opens a vault containing some art, jewelry, and a glass display case containing a black metal object resembling the tip of a key. She says it was discovered by some explorers near Fami, in the Shadowfell. She bought it at great expense. It was in the main stronghold of the Fami Isles, far below the surface. She knows of no other pieces. She says that pieces of the Obulus were scattered around Irulan, and in the past adventurers had to find the pieces and use it to defeat great evil, but this might not be one of those pieces; it could be a shadow version. Kuviana asks where the pieces were said to be. Evelyn says one was discovered in the far north, and that the Obulus was used in the Zirigzar Spires. Meanwhile, Ophelia investigates the vault and finds a platinum band with a huge sapphire on a mannequin.

Kuviana keeps asking questions about the "Obulus" to distract Evelyn. Evelyn has offered a very high price for the other pieces, wanting to see the relic complete. Its power is unparalleled, and is assumed to come from one of the gods. Evelyn offers to gift her a book about it. As they leave the vault, Ophelia asks her if she's from Haven, and while she's distracted Kuviana subtly takes the ring from the statue and puts it in her pocket. Ophelia had seen Barry under the bed as they first entered the bedroom, and gives him the "get out" signal as they leave. Evelyn takes them back to the library and gives Kuviana a book written in Avisac titled Curios of Irulan. It speculates on a strange object that looks like a key and has the power of the gods, and talks about different pieces that were found. It was written by Markus Landor.

Ophelia and Kuviana leave the party and encounter Charles, the man who asked Ophelia to dance and was waiting to meet her outside. Ophelia makes her excuses, and they continue on their way. The rest leave the party and everyone rendezvouses in an alley. They are surrounded by cloaked figures, and Timmy Twinkletoes comes to claim the ring. They trade for Joaquin, who says he's been having so much fun. He got lots of sweets, but never met anyone. He remembered being in his room, then suddenly in another place.

They bring Joaquin home and introduce themselves as the Bear Owl Bureau, increasing their reputation in the town. Councilman Everset rewards them with the promised 1500 gold. They tell him they found him in the catacombs, but don't know who kidnapped him.

As they arrive at the BOB, Ophelia splits from Kuviana, despite it being solidly nighttime. Ophelia sees the real Kuviana standing in the doorway. Lilith, in her real accent, bids Ophelia adieu and runs, keeping the book Evelyn gifted her. Kuviana embraces Ophelia, telling her she's been in a horrible place. Balinor and Wrath chase after Lilith, but fail to catch her. Timmy Twinkletoes emerges from the Bureau and demands to be escorted home as promised.

After Ophelia hands the money to Welsh for safekeeping, they follow Timmy into the sewers. They tell him about the sapphire ring, and he breaks into a run. He opens a secret door and smoke billows out. Balinor and Wrath fall unconscious. Inside is the sitting area of a thieves' guild, with about forty unconscious people. Kuviana wakes up Balinor and Wrath with Lesser Restoration. Timmy wakes up the rest with a potion behind the bar. Timmy tells the party the sapphire ring is imbued with magic, and she passes it off to people when she wants to control them.

## Memorable Quotes

**Lauren**: Kiss kiss fall in love!
**Matt**: Don't even start. I think, of all people, this is the last person Wrathful would be interested in.
**Lauren**: Hey, you know, it's all about appearances for a little bit.
**Ben**: What about - so you would take the reporter lady over her?
**Matt**: Okay, second to last.

**Kyle**: Okay. So I already had to drink three fuckin seltzers so far and now I've got a bigass Baja Blast.

**Stephanie**: For the record guys I love you.
**Matt**: Mm.
**Lauren**: So upsetti spaghetti right now.

**Stephanie**: I was like once the real Kuviana came out, I'm done with Lilith. She no longer exists to me.

## Trivia

* Sean ordered Kyle taco bell for his birthday.
* Because he edits the podcast, Kyle always listens to secret scenes, and was therefore unsurprised by Lilith's reveal