Apple Pie Bundy

### Beannoccio Transcript

Good evening, everybody! My name is Apple Pie Bundy. The world's foremost manipulator of talking dolls. I perform for kings, queens, captains of industry, presidents, and, well, beautiful smiling audiences such as yourselves.

You know, sometimes in this world we end up talking to people we don't want to. Sometimes those people can be very old. So I always like to check in with my young nephew, Beannoccio to get a perspective that we all need in this life. Come on, Beanocchio! Come out here!

*Hi uncle, it's so good to see you right now.*

Oh, it's great to see you Beannoccio. Feels like it's been too long.

*Oh, uncle, I've missed you. You've always been my favorite.*

Oho, Beannoccio, you're a great nephew, too. Tell me, what have you been up to lately?

*Oh, just regular things. Playing with sticks, rocks, and sand.*

You play with sticks, rocks and sand? Wow that's great, Beannoccio. Hey, I gotta stop you for a second. Feelin' a little parched. Do you mind if I turn my head away and gargle some water?

*No, uncle, I don't mind at all.*

Now, Beannoccio, we've got a big audience in front of us tonight and I need you to be on your very best behavior. Do you promise me to be a good little boy?

*I absolutely promise to be a good little boy, uncle. It's all I've ever wanted to do.*

Do you PROMISE to be a good little boy, Beannoccio?

*I PROMISE to be a good little boy, uncle.*

Okay, Beannoccio, I believe you.

*You know, my daddy always told me that the only difference between a good little boy and a bad little boy is that a bad little boy will look you straight in the eye while he does what he wants.*

Ooh, that's good gargling.

### Dumpling Act Transcript

   Good evening everybody! My name is Apple Pie Bundy and I'm the worlds foremost manipulator of talking dolls. I've performed for kings, queens, captains of industry and like tonight, beautiful young smiling fresh-faced wonderfully dressed audiences such as yourself. What's been going on with Apple Pie Bundy since my last show? Well I'll tell you what's been going on. I'm lucky enough to own a farm. Thats right, me. Everyone's favorite city boy a farm-owner, you know it. Recently I met a guy, Farmer Shaky. You might of heard of him, He's the town's rotten egg farmer. Well, he's getting on in years and he decided to sell his farm to me. Didn't cost nothing. Well I bet that's him walkin- uh look. Well I bet that's him knocking around in the truck right now. Let's go say 'Hi' to him. Hey wait a second, you're not Farmer Shaky.

*You're damn right I'm not Farmer Shaky and you're expecting me t- You're damn right I'm not farmer Shaky and you can forget about ever talking to him again.*

 I apologize everybody, this is farmer shaky's noisy son Dumpling. Dumpling, is there a reason you heaved yourself off your sofa to bother me tonight?

*I want these people to know, that you're nothing but a 2 big thief (words unsure). He's always wanted my family's farm this thief, and he'd always stop at nothing to get it.*

 Oh You- Dumpling, your father sold that farm to me fair and square. I just love those rotten eggs, and you know it.

*You don't love those rotten eggs, but he's like every two-bit con artist with dollars in his mind. uh You're like every other two-bit con artist with dollar signs in his eyes. I care about those beautiful rotten eggs. My family cares. All you ever wanted was those rotten eggs for yourself.*

 Now listen dumpling, I'm a nice guy, but I'm a farm-owner now. And because of that, I don't need to put up with your stuff anymore.

*You don't need to put up with my stuff? He doesn't care about sharing the rotten eggs with the children. He doesn't care about going to hospital and passing out farm fresh rotten eggs to all the new mothers. He doesn't care to share what God has given this land.*

These eggs mean a lot to me.

*You stop it right there! Here's what you don't understand about my eggs. You've never worked in the lands, you've never put your blood sweat and tears into it, I have. I Have, and I have an understanding with the eggs. That's Right the eggs the eggs have promised to protect me as long as I protect them.*

 What are you talking about Dumpling? You're crazy.

*I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy at all! Here they come, I can feel the eggs! They've come to save themselves! The eggs, the eggs, they're here!*

 Nothing gets Rotten Eggs out of your suit. I want to apologize for Farmer Dumpling's behavior everybody. He's a very sad sick person, and he can't stand the fact that I own that farm fair and square. Good night everybody! Good Night!