Principal Secretary

> Wow. Riveting stuff.
>
> Principal Secretary, "Thirst to Be the First"

**Principal Secretary** is a supporting character in the series *Kiff*. He is Kiff and Barry's principal at Table Town Middle School.

## Profile

Principal Secretary is the principal of Table Town Middle School, as well as the adjacent Table Town High School. He is more frequently seen within the premises of Table Town Middle School, where his office is located. He is also a member of the Table Town Riddler's Society.

## Appearance

Principal Secretary is a secretarybird with white feathers, a black beak and tail, long pink legs, and yellow lining around his eyes. He is typically seen wearing a red and black striped tie.

## Personality

Principal Secretary treats his job as a principal very seriously and takes great measures to ensure that order is maintained at both Table Town Middle School and Table Town High School. He has had a deep love of learning and education since his childhood and considers it his calling to be a principal. At times, Principal Secretary's dedication to his job can be excessive; he reveals in "Brunch DJ" that he bugs and constantly monitors every classroom.

Principal Secretary genuinely cares for the well-being of his students. At the same time, he has little tolerance for misbehavior and violations of school rules. In "Brunch DJ", he expels Harry Buns from Table Town High School upon learning that Harry has been repeatedly cutting classes to perform DJ gigs, and refuses to reverse his decision until being threatened into doing so by Flam Bingo. In "Fresh Outta Grandmas", Principal Secretary is shown to have confiscated and banned numerous collectible toys from Table Town Middle School due to their distracting influence on students.

## Relationships

### Kiff Chatterley and Barry Buns

In general, Principal Secretary sees Barry and especially Kiff as responsible students. In "Brunch DJ", Principal Secretary overhears Kiff and Barry talking about Harry skipping school and is impressed by their disapproval of Harry's truancy, so he assigns them to investigate Harry's whereabouts. In "Life on the Inside", Principal Secretary does not mind that Kiff and Barry escaped detention, as in the process of doing so, the two also managed to get Table Town Middle School's "baddest of apples" (Gareth, Amira, Mav, Rosso, and L.E.) to appreciate learning.

When Kiff and her classmates feud with a trio of students from the rival school Tuft Pierre in "Principal Dance Socks", Kiff volunteers Principal Secretary to compete in a dance-off against Tuft Pierre's principal Principal Swan. Principal Secretary agrees to participate to defend Table Town Middle School's honor, but due to his lack of dancing skills, his students get Helen to magically control his legs during the dance-off.

### Helen

In "Big Barry on Campus", Helen uses a computer gremlin to hack into Principal Secretary's laptop after he refuses her request to change her age on her school ID, causing a system error that gets Barry sent to high school by mistake. In "The Sound of Helen", she blackmails Principal Secretary into cutting the pencil budget to fund her musical *The Sound of Helen*, in exchange for her changing his flat tire; later, he is incensed to discover that Helen herself deliberately caused the flat tire.

Helen assists Principal Secretary in "Principal Dance Socks" by magically controlling his legs during his dance-off against Principal Swan. However, after winning the dance-off, Principal Secretary infuriates Helen by naively crediting himself for his victory, forcing Kiff to smooth things over between the two. After another misunderstanding, Helen sabotages Principal Secretary's performance on *Dancing on the Tables*, though they later unite to perform a song on the show with Kiff and her classmates.

Despite Helen's frequent infractions against him, Principal Secretary has shown no intentions of firing her. A friendly interaction between the two occurs in "Ghost Wolf's Art", where after Principal Secretary's habit of viewing old pictures of his ex is exposed, Helen makes him feel better about himself by telling him that she stalks her old exes using GPS trackers.

### Secretary Prince

Principal Secretary is often seen around school accompanied by Secretary Prince, who assists him with various tasks and errands. In "Big Barry on Campus", Secretary Prince unsuccessfully tries to stop Helen from entering Principal Secretary's office, and later discovers Helen's computer gremlin in Principal Secretary's laptop.

### Miss Deer Teacher

In "Faculty Lounge", Principal Secretary assists Miss Deer Teacher when her sandwich is eaten in the faculty lounge by forbidding anyone from leaving the lounge until the culprit confesses. When Mr. Ri-Peppa is exposed as the culprit, Principal Secretary tells Ri-Peppa that he will face consequences for his crime.

## Trivia

* He took dance lessons as a child, though he is now only capable of performing extremely basic dance steps, as shown in "Principal Dance Socks".
* He has an ex whose old pictures he sometimes looks at "for hours on end in the middle of a Saturday", as shown in "Ghost Wolf's Art".