Head of the Accounting Department

> "They haven't invited me to lunch since I wouldn't pay cash for an under the table electrician" -Accounting Head
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## Social Info

### Enemies

Those who present a threat to the computer, Those who obstruct accurate accounting

## Accounting Within the Bunker

The practice of accounting is defined by Merriam-Webster as "the system of recording and summarizing business and financial transactions and analyzing, verifying, and reporting the results" This is, in essence what the accounting department does, although the exact procedures are often slightly different from those used in the real world.

In order for the complex system that is the bunker to run smoothly all assets and liabilities must be accurately accounted for. Only after this may they be distributed and dealt with as is determined to be best. The enormous job of actually allocating the recourses and keeping track of what needs to go where, and specific quantities of resources is mainly a job that belongs to the computer. However, there are certain pieces of the job that require the human touch of the accounting department.

The accounting department checks the spreadsheets that are created by the computer, looking for errors. In addition, they must also check that these spreadsheets match real life, a job that takes them all across the bunker. In addition, they compile new spreadsheets that further outline where resources are going. They also must sometimes contact important leaders of levels in order to get paperwork, such as item receipts, shipping records, etc. Often this can prove difficult because the non-accountants see the process as pointless and hindersome.

### Systems and Tools

The accounting department in the bunker mainly uses QuickBooks, which has in the past caused a wide variety of problems as the program was designed for a much smaller and less complex system. On a near monthly basis something goes wrong causing the entire program to crash. Often these events take many accountants days to sort out. During this time the Accounting head can be seen pacing the hallways angrily, yelling at himself or others, and smashing things. The accounting department also heavily relies on the use of Microsoft Excel and Desmos calculator.

All of these programs, along with many, many other more secret and complex functions are able to be accessed by the Accounting Head constantly, thanks to his headpiece. Unfortunately, the tech required to accomplish this is somewhat unstable, glitching at random times or causing the Accounting Head physical pain. It is likely that this could be solved by using newer technology, however the other department heads have decided that there are better places to use resources (like designing cool looking guns or creating creatures such as the Mascot). This lack of equipment extends to the entire department, and often members can be seen wearing cracked, or incredibly old technology.

The bunker uses GAAP.

## About the Accounting Head

The accounting head is, as his name suggests, in charge of the accounting department. Similarly to the other department heads, he takes quite an active role in this process, often staying up all night in order to review spreadsheets. In addition, he can also sometimes be seen walking through all different levels of the bunker in order to conduct inventory counts. This part of the job involves looking through physical stock (such as food paste, weapons, or additives to go in the air filtration system) in order to make sure that the real amounts match up with what the spreadsheets made by the computer say that they should be. This is especially important because it often cannot easily be done by the computer. Doing this job makes him one of the most well known department heads, though citizens still make sure to keep a safe distance.

He is completely loyal to the computer, and will always strive to do what is best for it. However, he doesn't follow with the same degree of blind loyalty that some others do, knowing that the computer is completely capable of making mistakes.

### Clashes with other Department Heads

The accounting head consistently clashes with the other department heads, and is viewed as the least important department head. The IT Head dislikes him mainly because part of the job of Accounting is to double check the computer. While he knows that this is an essential thing to do (the accounting department has, on several occasions, found errors that could have been catastrophic if not dealt with), he still dislikes the concept that the computer could make a mistake, and seeing the Accounting Head in the hallways of level one every day is a constant reminder of that. The HR Head dislikes the Accounting Head mainly because she wants to side with the IT Head, eager to get on his good side any way possible. In addition, she views him as someone who slows down progress by adding extra, pointless levels of bureaucracy. The same applies to the R&D Head, along with the added antagonism that the Accounting Head often shoots down his ideas for new technologies and R&D budget expansions, stating that 'there aren't enough resources to tackle that problem right now, lets focus on making sure we have enough food paste for next week.'

The other department heads take out their anger in slightly different ways, though one result is that the Accounting Head is often bullied, ignored, left out, and teased. Dwellers of level one can often witness the IT head loudly yelling to or about how the Accounting Head is a 'nerd' or a 'stupid bean counter.' In addition, the other department heads have been known to shove papers out of the Accounting Head's hands, or trip him while he is walking by. He always sits alone at their weekly meeting, and two weeks ago the HR Head made fun of the poppy seed muffin he brought.

In response to all of this the Accounting Head created a weekly meeting / support group called the SABC, or the 'Stop Accounting Bullying Committee.' The committee has five members, the Accounting Head, the IT Intern, the Catering Head, a Calm, and a beat up cardboard cutout of the IT head. The other members of the accounting department do not attend as they have too much work, resenting the fact that the Head has so much leisure time. After each meeting the IT head can be heard from across level one yelling at the Intern for attending, saying that spending so much time around nerds will cause him to turn into one himself. The accounting Head generally cries in a corner of his office while this is going on.

> "THIS GUY USES SPREADSHEETS AND MAKES PRESENTATIONS, INTERN. FUCKING POWERPOINTS! DO YOU FUCKING GET IT? HE'S A FUCKING NERD" - IT Head to The Intern
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## Canons

The Accounting Head plays some role in most major canons, even those where he is not featured in the compasses.

### Death of the Computer

The Accounting Head was the only known major department head that was able to escape from the ruins of the bunker. He now lives just outside the settlement in a small shack that he built. He often throws wild parties and takes drugs. Most settlers are still somewhat afraid of him, perhaps rightly so as he still possesses his gun, the Accounts Recievable-15, and is fully prepared to use it.

As of the release of Disarray, he lives in a cabin deep into the woods with the Vagabond. (articles about the comic and the character are not made yet sorry(

### Deep Dark

His whereabouts is unknown, though he is suspected to have been killed in the first few hours of chaos.

### Luxury

In this canon the Accounting Head manages to lock himself in a room with his gun, the 'Accounts Receivable-15.' He is able to resist the whispers, despite the shifter invading his dreams and telling him to submit, as full bog manifestation will happen soon enough. However, this only drives his determination and fury as he attempts to 'calculate Boggist statistics,' determining what resources they have and how many of them he would have to fight. Those walking through hallways that are adjacent to his room can sometimes overhear him screaming things along the lines of "I'm gonna account your dick off, you greedy fucks.'

### Accounting Department Snaps

This is a compass that focuses entirely on the Accounting Head, and what would happen if one day he snapped under the pressure of his job and the bullying that he endures. With the help of a splinter group of unhappy IT workers the Accounting Head is able to access the computer's code. Together the group attempts to muck up said code as much as possible, a process which results in broad swaths of the computer being completely stripped away. In the end, all that is left are basic systems like air filtration and plumbing (who knows how long they will last with no maintenance), alongside the barebones ability to run accounting software such as QuickBooks, Microsoft Excel, and Desmos Calculator (nobody in the accounting department can do mental math). With the other Heads trapped or dead the Accounting head is finally able 'to really live,' partying, snorting cocaine, and most of all, abolishing any form of accounting standardization.

The bunker is rife with people entering intentionally false data, doing drugs, both enjoying and hating their new freedom, and, perhaps most importantly, shooting each other over Yugioh tournaments.

## Accounting Head Trivia

* The Accounting Head is the shortest of the major department heads at 5'5, while the IT, R&D, and HR Heads are all over six feet
* The Accounting Head loves to eat slushies, but would never admit it
* The Accounting Head is Aromantic and Asexual
* The accounting Head keeps two mugs on his desk, one of them that says "I <3 GAAP," and another that says "Enron Summer Internship 1997"

## Gallery

A wojak version of the Accounting Head, made by Guzs-ElThe original, full text Accounting HeadA member of the accounting department, under the command of the HeadAccounting Head Official Design
1. ↑ https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accounting