Verve's Journal

Back to Verve.

Verve's ~~usually anxious~~ thoughts about being a superhero and all the lies she has to tell to keep doing it. You know, the light fun stuff that teenage journals are usually filled with!

## S3, multiple session recap

First mission: Dataverse: Honestly not sure what was going on, but I don’t think anyone noticed. I met Redstreak and Wren. Something was eating the Dataverse? I’m so confused. And time moves SO FAST THERE. I got home so late, and Dad was really worried about me.
Second mission: Leading people around the newly rebuilt Big High. I met Gwen, Madeline, and Ellen. Dad and Jasper showed up. I accidentally absorbed some kind of glowy bats and glowed for a whole day. I felt really stupid for getting glowy-ed. I stayed the night with Ellen, then in the morning went to Gwen’s for a hangout. Honestly, I didn’t really know anyone there but I was too shy to ask anyone’s name. AND MR. CROSSOVER FROM THE COMMUNITY CENTER IS CYCLONE???
Third mission: I met Parrot, Mini, and Side Step! We were recruited by the Silencer to help … do something. Honestly, I think the point got lost pretty early on. And we met his apprentice, Marie. And wow she was pretty, but uh, that’s not important. And then the barista lady had a weird glove that could probably boost my powers, but it’d need to be configured or something. It doesn’t make much sense to me, so I left it at the base. Side Step was interesting! He also didn’t seem to know what was going on, so I felt like we were on the same page!
Fourth mission?: This wasn’t really a mission, but Gwen was at that party that I was a complete loser at. But I’m still on swim team. So, worth it, I guess? Good thing she doesn’t know I’m Atlanta, or else she’d never like me. She also was super suspicious about why I joined Big High, like no one wants to go there? Actually, that one makes a lot of sense now that I think about it, with the bleeding plaque and all. I never want to think about that night again, I hate the person I was that night.
Fifth mission: Alloy, Atomica, Leap Year, and I were at the base, and some weird trap things happened. Alloy defended me against some of them, which was super nice of him. Leap Year was sure it was an alien AI trying to kill us. It turned out that a girl named Spinelli thought Godspeed’s security system was a video game. Somehow. Alloy was also super nice to her. We told her that breaking into places isn’t good, though, so maybe we don’t have to worry about her following Atomica to the base again? It’s probably fine.
Sixth mission: Aman, Ellen, and I were called in by Principal Crossover to talk about trying to prevent bullying. (The part of the day before that where I failed the test on Macbeth isn’t important.) I know Aman is Herald, and I think I enjoyed watching him try to hide it from Atlanta a little too much. Uh, also Kurt was told by adult Ellen (that’s super confusing) to use his teleporting powers to break into a prison, and can teleport people with him. That’s concerning. And Herald made Ellen look like Adult Ellen and she scared Kurt, like a lot. It’s nothing like I’ve seen Ellen act before. We’re pretty sure Kurt is on the Big Bad Team. Anyway, Herald talked to Kurt as Herald and not Aman (in a bathroom for some reason). We were told it went well, but I don’t think it stuck considering what happened yesterday with Kurt. Also he stepped out of the bathroom as Herald and immediately dropped it in front of me and Ellen. He freaked out and I had to promise to keep his secret. I’m glad I’m so much more subtle than him. No one even suspected a thing about me. (Ellen winked at me, but I’m sure that’s not important.)
Seventh mission: Back to the Dataverse. Wren was there again, and so were Carmilla and Grim! Wow this still makes no sense to me. We didn’t even get a briefing. There was a creepy magician who trapped us and made us pass some tests? Carmilla turned into a bat-cat! It was super cute! And then like, changed into something else? I really have no idea about all this Dataverse stuff. Also we were gone for like a whole day, yikes.
Now I’m caught up!

## S3E109 - Rising Oceans

But YESTERDAY is what I really need to talk about. SO. MUCH. HAPPENED. So Jasper and I went to the bank to get out some money so we could eat at that falafel place where the credit card machine is always broken. I’d just gotten the money when some dudes who look like the definition of “Hey this is what a bank robber looks like” come in and are, you know, robbing the bank. Ellen texted me (not sure why she was there), but the guy in charge noticed me look at my phone and broke it (I have my dad’s old flip phone until further notice, it’s awful). Then he took everyone’s phones. Then there was a bat, there’s a weird guy who doesn’t know how to use the gun he’s been given (Carmilla and Pinnochio, but I didn’t know that at the time). I caused a short and flooded the bathrooms because I thought it would be a good distraction, and it was definitely better in my head than in practice. It was gross. Regerts.
I was able to slip away and change, but I had to leave my backpack in the restroom. We did the hero thing. I whooshed all the guns to me, which was pretty cool. The hostages got out. Carmilla and Ellen are like, really strong? And Carmilla got shoved into a wall and just brushed it off like it was nothing??? Ellen had noticed I (you know, Atlanta me) had gone into the bathroom and found my backpack. I figured it’d be fiiiiiiine. Regerts.
Pinocchio was in the vault. They took out three goons on their own. Very cool. I’m just always surrounded by cool people? Is this my life now? There was a weird arm that we took because it’s what they were looking for. It’s not stealing if it belongs to a villain, right?
Carmilla hid in my hood as a bat, which was just like, unbelievably cute.
We got outside, talked to police, everything was fine, and then Ellen decided she needed to give my backpack back to me, and make sure I was okay. Which, first of all, is super sweet, I didn’t know she cared? Second of all, it was a TERRIBLE THING because I was RIGHT THERE and she was looking for me. But I was there as Verve, and I couldn’t be Atlanta because my clothes were in the bag, and even if she just gave the bag to Jasper, MY CLOTHES WERE IN THE BAG so I couldn’t just change and be Atlanta to get my bag from him. The others went on ahead with that spooky arm and Ellen was getting mad at me about trying to take the bag and I TOLD HER. She knows. That’s like, two people who know my secret identity. At this rate just everyone is going to know and then what’s the point and dad’ll be mad at me for putting myself in danger and I’ll have to get a new secret identity but of course that won’t work because like, hey, new person with lightning powers totally isn’t just Verve by another name. It’s okay. So Ellen knows. It’s probably fine. We’ve done a few things together and she was worried about Atlanta me, so like, I don’t think she’ll just tell anyone? It’ll be fine. Totally fine.
(Dammit, I totally could have zapped home, changed, and came back I’m so stupid.)
Anyway, then GAIA attached the arm to their body after making a backup copy of themself (which was really good, considering). They took us to the Danger Room to play the message. Carmilla and Pinnochio had an argument about that being a bad name. Carmilla turned into a bat at the end, so I think that means she won?
Anyway, the arm had like a virus? Some dude who I guess the arm belonged to (Orbital, apparently) monologued for a bit and it was a DISTRACTION which we fell for like leaves. GAIA popped in long enough for us to realize it. Carmilla smashed GAIA’s physical body in order to get us out of the distraction simulation. I told GAIA to reboot to the saved version, good thing they made that, or else we might have had a corrupted GAIA on our hands. That would have been BAD. We chased some people around the base. We didn’t catch them, but it was Kurt and someone else who wears glasses (half their glasses were left behind). They mapped the base. That’s super not great.
And that’s the mission!
I’ve been thinking about why I’m doing this Big Team thing a lot lately, and I feel like I should have goals! I should pick some, that’d be a good idea.
Side note: I knew everyone on the mission, and I think that’s the first time it happened? That was cool! I think Ellen and I bonded. I feel like her knowing my secret identity means we’re friends now, right?
But also, I’m the worst sister EVER. I abandoned Jasper in the bank, then I left him at home after. We were in a ROBBERY. People with GUNS were threatening to SHOOT AT US. It was traumatic and I just left him alone. And I brought ice cream home after, but I’m officially the worst. Ever. He said it’s fine, but I don’t know if I believe him.

## OVA - The Past that Haunts us

This is bad. Like, super bad. And I know we’re superheroes so “super bad” is like our thing, but!!! I should back up. So, Ellen, Carmilla, Seth, and I were training in the Danger Room. There were the usual holograms and stuff, including a hologram of Gwen that wasn’t actually a hologram (we’ll get to that later), BUT THE THING IS that one of the holograms was me??? Like, me, Atlanta. With a horde of brainwashed teenagers doing her bidding. Everyone else was fighting Gambit members or like, adult villains (including adult Ellen, which was weird to watch). And Carmilla just threw hologram me into a wall like I was nothing. I mean, she doesn’t know Atlanta is me. But...that was...watching my teammate do that to me isn’t a good feeling. And it was so easy for her. I know everyone on the team is really powerful, but that’s the first time it really hit me that I could get really hurt doing this. Like how my dad is always worried about.
We got sucked into Gwen’s memories because we were fighting actual Gwen with a maybe hologram of Yamato possessing her. Maybe the real thing. I don’t know what to believe anymore. Side note: Is Gwen rich? The room of hers I woke up in was really nice. She lives at that manor, so she must be rich? I probably shouldn’t be surprised. It was weird and trippy. She also has two little siblings? I hope they’re okay, I’ve never heard her talk about them. Then again, who am I to judge people not talking about their personal lives. So I woke up in one of Gwen’s memories (wearing really cute robot cat pajamas), and then it transitioned into a memory of Dad going on a spiel about the dangers of superpowered people after a bad day at the ER. So, yeah. We got out, and then Gwen told us why Atlanta was in the simulation and that’s why I’m freaking out.
So, uh, apparently GAIA told the team that it’s almost certain that I’m in Gambit. Atlanta me, I mean. Ellen said she and Aman would have my back. But like, why would she side with me? Her reputation with the team is tenuous at best. Adult her was in the danger room right next to Fake Atlanta. And even if Ellen sided with me, why would the team? And then would they trust either of us, her or Atlanta me? We know that the adult her is involved with Gambit. Why wouldn’t people just think she’s in on it? If they find out I’m Atlanta, will they even believe me that I’m not part of Gambit? Why would they? GAIA’s been here way longer than me. If they say I’m in Gambit, the others will believe them over me. They’ll think I’m in on it. And that me and Ellen are both infiltrating Big Team for Gambit. That we’re traitors. ~~I don’t want Carmilla to do that to actual me~~.
Which brings me to my Verve’s Big Conspiracy Board. (Actually kind of small conspiracy board but whatever.)
Option one: GAIA is stupid. This seems really unlikely.
Option two: GAIA is still possessed by Orbital and he’s sending us on a wild goose chaseThis seems much more likely. The big question I have is: does he know I’m Atlanta, or did he choose Atlanta at random? If he knows, how? I mean, he has to know I’m not involved with Gambit. This also means that Orbital has not only a map of our base through Kurt (And a way to get in, I should have wrecked his stupid little machine instead of just stealing his notes. Why didn’t I look up where the rest of these coordinates go???), but also is monitoring us all the time. That’s like, really bad.
More evidence in support of GAIA being run by OrbitalSending us on a wild goose chase around the base when Kurt and friend were mapping it Gwen was maybe possessed by the actual Yamato, who could have been let in by Orbital
The good news is that GAIA made a backup copy of themself before attaching Orbital’s arm. The bad news is that I don’t know how to get to that and activate it.
I don’t know how to tell the others about this without revealing who I am. And I can’t lose this. I...I just can’t. If they know, they’ll stop trusting me. I couldn’t take that.
PS: I also did a really cool thing with my powers where I absorbed the energy from an impact and then expelled it. I haven’t done that before. ~~I wonder if it would work on how Carmilla threw hologram me across the room.~~

## S3E117 - Niccal and Dime

I missed swim practice. Again. I feel like I’m on thin ice everywhere lately. Carmilla is definitely mad at me. I mean, I deserve it. I AM lying to everyone. The Team deserves better than that, but that would mean losing the Team, and I’m too selfish for that. The way this one lady was looking at Ellen today...I couldn’t handle that.
Anyway. Um. Right, we were at a fundraiser for the community center. I probably could have gone to swim practice and made it to the event, but I’m just lazy I guess. And I couldn’t tell Mr. Crossover no.
I met a new team member, Faker. She seems cool. But she came up to talk to me like I should know who she was and I didn’t read the reports this week because I’m just too self-obsessed I guess and it was awkward. Like, I’m always awkward, but this was extra awkward. And Challenge came over and thought I was a cosplayer, which is stupid because who would cosplay me? Like, seriously. She clearly didn’t think that through.
Then Carm came over, which is how I know she’s 100 percent mad at me. So I left her and Faker alone. I hate that I don’t know how to make it better.
Anyway, there was an attack, because of course there was. Some people were affected by a drug that Ellen called Boost. Something in the food reacted badly with the drug in their systems, so they bulked up suddenly and attacked. And then Carmilla was flirting with Ellen? The Necromancer Girl (whose name is actually Mortician, which is much better, tbh) was there making people into zombies. I stayed away from Carmilla for this fight. Not that I actually think she’d hit me, but like, the image of her hitting hologram me won’t leave my head. So. You know. I fought some zombies. Tased Mortician. Ellen got it out of her that this was all a distraction. Ellen and Faker went off to calm down the civilians, who were panicking. That apparently went really well. Carmilla and I were alone for an awkward second before I ran off to try and stop Mortician’s accomplice from stealing files on the recovered and recovering Boost addicts.
Challenge was in the office. Apparently the thief had beaten her up pretty bad. It was honestly kinda sad? They could phase, but I went up through the wiring. That was so cool. It felt really weird, and I was extra charged after that, but still. It was really cool. I felt kinda bad for leaving Challenge like that, but what’s important is that the thief didn’t get away with the information. They did get away, though. And apparently they were Bloodshot. But like, I thought Bloodshot was a creepy person who took control of people using their blood, not a phaser? Maybe they just have both. But then why didn’t they use the blood-bending?
I don’t know. I throw lightning at things. ~~And suck at being a teammate.~~
Um. Right. So. Faker tried to hit Bloodshot while they were both phased, and it didn’t work. That was apparently really unsettling for her. She said she could hear the screams of the dead? Yikes. But she did really well for her first mission! There was a point where she said today had been a lot, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Every day with Big Team is a lot. But I wouldn’t change that. I love it. I can’t lose this.
Ellen and Carmilla went off to hang out afterwards. Faker ran after them, but I lied and said I had to do something. Carmilla wouldn’t have enjoyed herself if I was around, and I don’t want to ruin things for everyone else. I mean, if I can’t do better for everyone, I might as well stay out of their way, right?

## S3E120 - In the Shadows

Why is it that when you get three or more Big Team members in the same room, something bad happens? I won tickets to a dinner theater. It was a weird production, about some vampire roommates who are trying to open a portal to another dimension, and GUESS WHAT? Yeah, the actors were actually vampires actually trying to open a portal. Technically I guess they succeeded? But I’m getting ahead of myself.
So I get to the dinner theater and who am I seated with? Two Big Team members: Boon and Celerity. Honestly not sure if he has a secret identity? If yes, Boon can never find out who I am, since she announced that he was Big Team basically right as she sat down. Like, she’s great, but has zero subtlety. The play was nothing special, but I guess that’s to be expected when it’s actually a ritual, not a play about a ritual. One character was supposed to be a human who kept shouting that vampires were real and getting “thrown” off stage. Boon and Celerity decided to race up to the stage and shout it as well. This went about as well as expected for Boon, who ran up on stage and then got kicked out. Celerity, on the other hand, tripped on the table and spilled Italian food all over us. My poor costume.
(Side note: I was in my Ripley costume, Boon was dressed as Joan Jett (which was just as cool as you’d think), and Celerity was some anime vampire thing.)
He was really apologetic about it, but I mean, my hair still smells like garlic (Jasper thinks it’s hilarious, and I could see Dad laughing at me from behind his book. Traitors.). My white shirt was ruined for sure, but I might be able to salvage the rest of the costume.
Anyway, laundry woes aside, Celerity was really nice. A group of jocks and cheerleaders came in and swarmed the stage. He asked the ushers if this was part of the performance, and it wasn’t. Before doing anything else, he came back and told me that this was probably going to get dicey and that I should get out of there. Which, like I said, was really nice of him. So I got out of there, changed, and got back there quickly as Verve.
I pulled the fire alarm to get the civilians out of the way, Celerity took out most of the werewolves by himself (oh yeah, the jocks and cheerleaders were werewolves), and Boon found out that the vampires were actual vampires and they were trying to open a portal to get back to their dimension. The problem was that they did the ritual wrong or something, and both of our dimensions would collide and get destroyed if we didn’t fix it. So we hopped through the portal with them so we could fix it from the other side.
Side note: why were they doing this ritual as a play anyway? Like, why not do it somewhere secret where they wouldn’t get interrupted by meddling teenage superheroes and obnoxious werewolves?
Also, Boon mentioned that Atlanta was there, and that she was evil. When I pointed out that we don’t know that for sure, she said if GAIA said someone was evil, she must be evil. So. I was right. Yay. No one will believe me over GAIA. Even if it is really just Orbital using GAIA. (And I really hope I’m wrong about that.)
On the other side of the portal, it was Halcyon but weird. We were also weird. I look like a Frankenstein monster, Boon had horns and was red, and Celerity just turned into the vampire he was dressed as. The leader vampire calls the Weird Halcyon “Noy’Clah,” (which is Halcyon backwards). He told us that we could probably find what we needed at Big Tower. We passed a few landmarks on the way that were off, like Philostea was now Gravitea and was graveyard themed.
 Anyway, we got to Big Tower (which is really just a big tower), and went up a bunch of steps. There was a creepy room at the top of the tower, complete with a cauldron and something bubbling inside of it. And who else would be there except Godspeed. He wanted pens in exchange for helping us, until Boon and Celerity called him a nerd. And, like a child throwing a tantrum, he essentially force choked them. Like, why did he care what two random teenagers who he’d never met before think? I got him to stop, but then he said he wouldn’t help us unless one of us gave him our powers, which of course we weren’t going to do. I tried to talk us out of a fight, but it didn’t work. Fortunately, almost as soon as the fight began, Celerity found a potion that could get us back. Boon got Godspeed to tell us how to use the potion to get back, and so we left. I guess it was resolved quickly and no one really got hurt, but it didn’t really feel like a successful fight? The others were looking to me for leadership (which was honestly wild, being the most experienced teammate in a group), but I feel like it would only have been successful if there wasn’t a fight, if that makes sense.
 So we went back down the obnoxious number of stairs, and we were met by this world’s GAIA, who’s a golem there. I missed their Weird Halcyon name. They gave us a ride back to the portal, where we were met by their “nemesis” who is definitely that world’s Elle. We only saw like six seconds of them interacting, but it was definitely one of those “we want to kiss but we’re not sure how to express our feelings so we’re pretending to be enemies” kind of thing.
 We each took a sip of the potion and jump through the portal, then throw the rest of the potion back through the portal once we’re back on our side. This closed the portal and saved the day! The theater was pretty smashed up, though. We left before we have to explain the mess. This is literally what we have Godspeed for. We raced to Screamin’ Bean to get some coffee. (And Celerity managed not to spill anything on any of us while we were there. ;) )

PS: So it’s Monday now, and Boon came to see me at lunch? We actually had a really nice talk. She said it was to make sure I was okay, which is really nice of her. I mean, I know she only did it because she thinks I’m evil, but unless she’s a really really good actress, I think she enjoyed talking to me? Whatever her motives, Atlanta me is going to win her over to the “Atlanta isn’t evil” side. I can keep my secret identity secret AND have the team not think I’m evil. I mean, I have to.

## S3E123 - Push Comes to Shove

I WAS RIGHT! ORBITAL HAD INFECTED GAIA! AND NOW HE’S GONE! HA!
Sorry, I just needed to get that out. But it’s true! Orbital is no longer in GAIA’s systems and I didn’t have to reveal that I’m Atlanta to convince anyone he was there! It’s such a relief.
So much happened. I’m not sure where to start. Oh. Wait, I know where to start. I might be kicked off swim team because I ditched practice to respond to a Big Team Red Alert at the Resonance facility. I mean, I’m glad I did. This was really important. But I really don’t want to get kicked off of swim team. Dad would be furious. And I love swimming; I don’t want to lose it. It’s fine. I’ll just stay late at the center for the rest of the week to make up the time. I’ll prove I can keep up with everyone else despite my personal emergencies. It’ll be fine.
Back to the mission. Some Resonance exosuits were going rogue. Wren and Manaline were already there when I showed up, and Mini came soon after. We took out the big suit controlling the others, and GAIA’s body was in the pilot’s seat. Manaline teleported the body up to the ship before anyone besides us could see it. First of all: Manaline has a ship??? Very cool. Second of all: it’s called Perseverance and that’s adorable.
So everyone else was confused about why GAIA would be attacking Resonance. I spilled everything I knew, sans the “clearly Orbital if framing me because I’m Atlanta” parts. And no one questioned why I knew this or why I didn’t say anything. Thank goodness. Wren also told us that whatever is deleting parts of the Dataverse has to do with Gambit, too. What are they up to? We’re missing something big. And I can’t help but feel like it’s all going to come to a head soon.
 Manaline ran a diagnostic on GAIA, and found out that Orbital was using GAIA’s body as a backdoor into their systems, where he’d been lurking since getting in. Who knows what information he got while he was there. But, I knew that GAIA made a backup copy of themself before attaching Orbital’s arm, so we needed to find that and turn it on or restore them to that setting or however computers work and that hopefully would get Orbital out of their systems. But since we didn’t know where that would be, Manaline called Elle. It wasn’t the best decision? I mean, Elle told us where to find the backups (probably, I don’t think they know what backups are), but mostly I think we worried them since they’re dating GAIA.
So Manaline, Wren, and I broke into the base while Mini stayed in the ship with GAIA’s body, but Orbital caught us in the basement before we could get to GAIA’s room. He tried to shock us, and Wren saved Manaline but I got hit. And I absorbed it, because that’s what I do. But it was...a lot. Too much. I couldn’t control it. I couldn’t even stay in a solid form. Wren had to siphon off the energy before I could regain control. It...wasn’t fun. I’m so relieved he was there.
Somehow Manaline hacks us into like Danger Room mode or something? I’m not sure exactly what happened, but we took a teleporter up to the Watchtower (which felt really weird, but now I’ve kinda been to space which is dope). We fought a digital version of Orbital in that same really pastoral meadow on a cliff overlooking the sea that he pulled up in the base’s danger room when we first put the arm on GAIA. Mini showed up to help. We defeated him. Then he was a dick to Manaline about Lisa (I wonder if it’s the same Lisa who I met at that party?), and Manaline lost it. Mini protected me from the blast, and then the danger room got shut down by Silencer (not sure why he was there?). But as Orbital faded, he said, "They're fighting for Halcyon. You know what they want? No. More. Heroes." Concern.
 At some point between us leaving and Mini showing up to help fight digital Orbital, she saved GAIA. So mission accomplished! We went home on Manaline’s ship. On the way, I asked GAIA why they told the team that Atlanta was in Gambit. They said that Orbital was the one who gave the team that information, but there was still a 47% chance that she’s part of Gambit. Then they asked me why, and I was just like, Atlanta seems too nice to be evil, and then Mini said that so did Kurt. Ouch.
 Oh, I need to point out that it wouldn’t make sense for Orbital to put suspicion on an actual member of Gambit!
 I realize I probably shouldn’t be this excited. I mean, it’s really bad what happened to GAIA, and who knows how much information Orbital got away with. Plus Orbital’s ominous threat as he faded away? But like, I’m really happy he’s gone and the suspicion on Atlanta me is way less. (Wow I’m really selfish, aren’t I?)
 PS: When we got back planetside, GAIA said they needed to do something. They wouldn’t say what, but I think they went to go see Elle, which is just super adorable.

## S3E127 - Biggest of Birthdays

I didn’t know Big Team had a birthday but I’m so here for it! Okay, so I’m here for most things that will give me an excuse to make cupcakes but still! I love birthdays! You know who doesn’t love birthdays? Gambit. What is their deal?
So, after school I was grabbing my swim stuff from my locker and Ellen’s exploded this green goo at her. She was okay, but that’s just really mean? This guy Sam (who I met at the party I don’t talk about), gave her a towel. There was a trail of goo leading off, but I needed to get to swim practice, and Ellen seemed fine. But Sam slipped on the goo behind me and I helped him up. That delayed me long enough to see Ellen and Carm (who’s real name is Tay apparently?) come out of the bathroom. First of all: no idea why Tay was there. Second of all: I haven’t seen her out of costume before and just ;akdf;akldsjf. I can’t. Why are girls so pretty. Like, her costume is very cool. But like. Button-ups. I’m weak. It’s fine. I’m fine. And I didn’t make a fool of myself. (I think.)
Anyway, Tay doesn’t know I’m Verve, so she was very nice. Now I really want to tell her so we can just be friends all of the time, but of course that would probably just make her more mad at me for tricking her and then she’d hate both of me. Ugh, why does everything have to be so complicated.
ANYWAY, Tay asked if Sam and I were Ellen’s friends and she said we just went to school together. Which hurt. Like, I think Boon and I are friends now, but Ellen was the first friend I thought I made at Big High and on the team. (More on this later, though. It is actually fine, but I spent most of the day thinking I had massively mistaken our relationship.) Um, then Ellen asked if Sam and I wanted to help with figuring out who pranked her locker, but I ran off to swim practice.
And of course, swim practice was cancelled. Some kind of radioactive bug exploded in it? That was weird. I’m glad I got to hang out with the others (especially considering what happened), but I’m on such thin ice with swim team that it would have been really good for me to have actually made a practice and been able to stay the entire time. I’ll swim laps at the community center to make up for it.
But this meant I got to go investigate with Tay and Ellen! I caught up with them at Lizzy Lowman’s locker. She’s the editor of the Big Bugle (which is honestly kind of a stupid name for a newspaper), and has a mean girl reptuation. And then Sam showed up. Apparently whatever he was doing fell through, too. Weird.
I wasn’t sure we should break in, but I changed my mind as soon as I saw what was in there. There were SO many pictures of Big Team members at Big High, and a LOT of pictures of me. Like, Atlanta me. From the bank robbery before I changed, from when Ellen, Aman, and I were spying on Kurt, from that awful party, me at swim practice, Verve me at the Big High reopening. It wasn’t just me, of course. There were a lot of others, especially Big High students who hang out with Big Team members a lot. But it was super creepy. Tay suggested it could be for blackmail. Like, say, if someone didn’t like people with powers, and they could prove that someone, for example me, was hanging out with people with powers a lot, that could be some kind of blackmail. Like, say, if someone found out I was friends with Big Team members and threatened to tell someone like, maybe, my dad, they could use that to try and make me do something. Not that I would. I think. And, I mean, there are so many kids at Big High with powers, Dad couldn’t really expect me not to be friends with any of them, right? He’s the one who told me I needed to hang out with kids my age more. He can’t just forbid me from seeing all of my friends.
...Right?
 Um. Anyway. Then Lizzy and her cameraman Greg caught us in her locker. She asked what we were doing in her locked and I thought that was a great question. Yeah, Lizzy, what are all these pictures of me doing in your locker? She threatened to tell Principal Crossover exactly what was going on, which I was all for. That’s the information I was asking for. Our conversation didn’t go super well until I also see a letter in her locker. And it’s addressed to me. And it’s from Mr. Crossover. With the additional threat of felony mail fraud and Ellen saying if she’s framed, helping us figure out who it was would clear her name, she told us about her project. (Side note: me being the angry one while Ellen thought about it rationally was a weird dynamic.)
Apparently, Lizzy is working on a story about how Big Team teams up with regular kids something something everyone can be a hero. Which is good I guess. Good press or whatever. But her having so many pictures of me is still creepy and I don’t like her.
 Tay turned into a bat (which is still really cool), and found a trail for us to follow. I stayed behind for a minute to read the letter I found. It was an invitation to a Big Team Birthday press conference/party/thing at City Hall. And if anyone was even a little suspicious that I was Verve, this letter would have really confirmed that for them. There was a Lichtenberg figure motif on the stationary, and the bottom had a note from Mr. (I guess Mayor now) Crossover with something about me being able to attend in my “many forms.” How did this man ever have a secret identity. Fortunately, it wasn’t opened when I got it. It did have a burn mark on the envelope, so maybe it was charmed or magicked so that only I could open it?
Ellen took me and Bat Tay on her motorcycle, and Sam said he’d meet us where we were going. (Side note: I got to ride on Ellen’s motorcycle!!! Did I say I was sad I missed swim practice? That was a lie.)
We found the shoes that the goo culprit used to frame Lizzy. Sam shows up from out of nowhere, which will make sense in a second. I tell them about the invitation, and the trail seems to be heading in that direction, and since it was a Big Team target we headed straight to City Hall. And we went quickly, since Sam is Manaline! And he took us in Perseverance. He hadn’t told us earlier since I was in Atlanta mode. He gave me the whole “you better keep this a secret” speech. I told him Herald isn’t subtle, so I can keep a secret. I mean, there is much better proof that I can keep a secret, but I’m not telling him that.
(Also if Manaline is Sam, that means the Lisa he was talking about to Orbital must be his cousin who I met at the party. I wonder what happened to her? She was really nice.)
 We got to the press conference/street fair/whatever. Manaline stays up in his ship and somehow connected all of us so we could see each other’s health statuses and stuff in front of us like we’re in an MMO. There was also a chat, which was really neat. When the fight started, I left the chat Manaline made (fortunately that was really easy, I’m not ready for Tay OR Manaline to know who I am) and ran away as Atlanta, and then rejoined the fight as Verve. Long story short, Simone was the one who gooed Ellen’s locker. She was in charge of trying to make Big Team look bad at the press conference, but we got there too quickly for Gambit to set it up.
 Right after the fight, Carm went to check on me as Atlanta so I had to get out of there quickly. I got changed back before she found me, but it was close. She’s so nice. I hate lying to everyone, and this feeling of dread if everyone finds out. Dad might kick me out if he knew I had powers. The Team might kick me out if they knew I was Atlanta. Maybe in a few years I’ll be able to tell everyone. Two people knowing is more than enough.
 I talked to Ellen when we all went to get pizza and apologized for thinking we were friends. I mean, if that was a boundary she had or something I felt really bad for assuming that kind of thing. But she explained that she didn’t say we were friends because she was trying to look cool in front of Tay. I don’t understand why not having friends would be cool? But Ellen insisted I was cool, but if being cool means not having friends I’m considerably less cool than I was a few weeks ago. I think I’m overthinking this. Anyway, I told her, girl, Tay’s been flirting with you for weeks. She thinks you’re cool. And that ended that conversation as Ellen ran off to talk to Tay. I hope it went well. They both deserve good things.
 Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go listen to girls on repeat for no particular reason. And dad can’t stop me because he’s not here. And Jasper can’t hear it so he won’t care. \*cue evil laughter\*

## Time Passes 11/20/19

It was late. Jasper was in bed, and Atlanta was sitting cross-legged on the couch. A math book sat open on her lap, a mostly completed worksheet on top of it. She’s in a small but brightly lit room, though outside it’s dark. Family photos in mismatched frames covered most of the flat surfaces of the room; pictures of Jasper, of Atlanta with swimming medals, of Noah hugging both of them in his graduation cap and gown, of the three of them at various places. A larger frame next to the TV is facing down. A casual observer might think it had just fallen over, but there was a layer of dust on top of it.
The TV was on in front of her, muted replaying some news footage of a superhero fight. But not just any superhero fight, the one at the Big Team second birthday press conference/street fair/thing. The subtitles were off, so she couldn’t tell what the news anchor is saying about it. Maybe that’s for the best. None of the footage had focused on her as Atlanta, thank goodness, although from the angles, some of it probably came from Greg and Lizzy.
 “I’d be a lot less conspicuous if all my friends weren’t on Big Team…” she muttered, then sighed. There was a balance to this superhero/secret identity thing. She’d figure it out eventually. Probably.
 A key turned in the lock, and Atlanta turned around to see her dad enter the apartment. Noah James was a tall man, the kind that often had to duck through doorways. He’s wearing sweats and a sweatshirt, and his brown hair was disheveled. A sure sign of a bad day at the ER was if he wasn’t able to wear his scrubs home. Despite the bags under his eyes, he mustered a smile for his daughter.
“Hey, Bean. Still up?”
 “Finishing my homework,” she answered, smiling back. “Welcome home.”
 He made a noncommittal grunt as he walked over to kiss the top of her curls. He started to say something else, then noticed the news. His mood instantly shifted. “Turn that off, Atlanta. I don’t need to see that.”
“Sorry.” Her math book is set aside as she reached out for the remote, shutting the TV off just as the footage focused on Verve taking down a henchman in a burst of lightning.
A disapproving scowl filled Noah’s face. Shaking his head, he sat down next to his daughter. “I can’t imagine what their parents think. It’s irresponsible. They should be in school, not gallivanting about risking their lives. And for what?”
Atlanta didn’t respond as massive waves of guilt rose in her chest. It happened every time her dad got like this. The fact that they saved people at that press conference didn’t matter, it wasn’t even something she could articulate. The rush of being a hero. The satisfaction of saving someone. The relief when a bad guy goes to jail. Just the fact that heroes saved people, none of it came to mind. Just the crushing guilt of her lies. None of the very good reasons anyone would have to become a hero could get past it.
Noah sighed as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “So how was school today? Swimming pool still radioactive?”
 “Yeah. I went to the community center, though. Got some laps in. And the school’s should be good by tomorrow.”
“Good.” The word is punctuated by another squeeze.
A faint buzzing sound interrupted the silence that followed. Pulling out her phone, Atlanta opened a text from Boon without thinking. Inside was a selfie of Boon and a pitbull with horns captioned: I got a pup! his name is Brimstone
The arm around her shoulders tensed and Atlanta mentally cursed herself. Quickly, she sent back: [heart emoji] adorable pupper
“Isn’t that girl on Big Team?” It was a question, but Atlanta knew that he knew the answer.
“Um. Yeah. She goes to Big High.”
 “Why is she texting you?”
 Sliding her phone back into her pocket, she shrugged. “We met at that dinner theater performance that went south. And she checked in on me at school after that to make sure I was okay. She’s really nice.”
 “Being friends with people like that is dangerous, Atlanta.” His voice was low. It was a warning, but not a demand. At least not yet.
“I know.” Despite her best efforts, her voice came out quieter than she wanted.
 “She and people like her have targets on their backs, Bean. People with powers are dangerous. Being around **them** puts you in danger.” There was an emphasis on “them” that Atlanta is sure he didn’t intend, but is there nonetheless. He turned her so that she’s facing him. She let him, but couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes. “I know there are a lot of them at your new school. But there are normal people, people like us, too. You can stay away from **them**.” Noah pulled her in for a hug. The angle was awkward, but Atlanta just hugged him back. “I worry about you, Atlanta. I just want you safe.”

“I know, Dad.” Again, her voice was soft and resigned. “I should go to bed.”

Noah kissed the top of her head before letting her go. “Alright. Sleep well. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night, Dad.”
“I love you.”
“Love you, too.”

## S3E131 - Stars Above, Sky Below

Meteor showers are really beautiful. A big group from the community center took some buses out to a trailer park to watch, and I went since Jasper was going with his school and I figured it would be cool. (Spoilers, it was.) Tay and Gwen were there, too, which was fun! I mean, Gwen doesn’t me as Atlanta, but she still hung out with us.
Gwen was telling us how this looked like the time that Side-Step crashed a spaceship, and then a spaceship crashed! (Spoilers, it wasn’t Side-Step this time.) Tay tried to invite me to go with her and Gwen to investigate. Gwen was opposed to this (which is totally reasonable). I mostly thought it was funny, and told them to go ahead without me. And then I changed and followed.
Thank goodness Jasper wasn’t there, since I really didn’t want to abandon him for a mission again. [insert how I’m the worst sister ever here.]
Manaline and Side-Step showed up at the crash site, too, which was fun. This tiny cute alien tried to shoot Side-Step, but it was just scared. They warmed up to him later. Or maybe they were just trying to make him stop singing. Unclear. Either way, they were riding on his shoulder. As soon as we reached a tentative truce with them, four other alien ships showed up to kill them. They flew in a circular formation, and by their powers combined (or whatever) a energy laser was being charged up between them.
 The very first thing that happened was Manaline yeeting Gwen up at the ships. I think I heard him muttering something about how she had it coming after all the times she’s yeeted people without warning, which I guess is fair. But the thing is, she got thrown into the energy beam and passed out. So. Yikes. Carm caught her, though. I told Side-Step to take Gwen and the alien into the trees to hide. I asked Manaline if he could hack into them somehow while I went up and tried to disrupt them. And I got two of them off course. Carm was also very helpful in disrupting them because she impaled one of the ships with a tree it was very cool. Oh, and Manaline found out that the ships were there to kill the little alien, and that the alien’s name is Selune.
It kind of felt like I was leading. I made a good plan, and Manaline followed it and everything even though he felt like the leader? And we were really successful! I liked that. I liked feeling like I’m more than just the new person who throws lightning at problems.
 Also!!! I absorbed some of the small energy blasts they were shooting at us after their big laser was ruined, and I was able to store it instead of needing to expel it right away!
 Anyway, we wrecked three of the ships, and Manaline got the last one to run away. (Gwen woke up and helped.) We figured out that Selune was trying to get to the sun to visit their sister, who lives in the sun I guess, on December 26. We take their ship back to the base. And by we, I mean Carm just picked it up and carried it by herself. Because she can do that. Manaline and GAIA figured out how to fix the ship. Between the scrap we could get from the crashed attack ships, Manaline’s tech, and the energy I stored, the only we didn’t have was some metal that could withstand the heat of the sun for the hull.
Luckily, the Watchtower had some extra, so we popped up and borrowed some! I left a note. I’m sure it’s fine.
Repairing the ship mostly went over my head, but I learned how to use my powers to arc weld, which is just really cool. I also held onto the alien energy that I absorbed for a whole day and used it to power the ship! I’ve never held onto any energy for that long that wasn’t electricity before! My powers are developing is such cool ways, I can’t wait to see what I can do next.
Carm was in bat form playing with Selune a lot during this. It was very cute. It also meant that we didn’t talk much while we fixed the ship, since we were both busy. And also, you know, she can’t talk while she’s a bat. Besides, I didn’t want to talk in the base where GAIA could hear. And she was having a lot of fun. I didn’t want to ruin it.
And then we were done. The ship was fixed! Selune took us for a ride on their ship before leaving. I hope they get to where they’re going okay.
After they left, Carmilla and I talked. Honestly, it was way overdue, but it’s hard to find a moment when you have both the time and the courage to talk about hard stuff. She apologized for being so angry with me, which was nice, but I still feel like it was justified. I still feel like she’s right. And then I apologized, and just kind of spilled out a vague apology about how I keep my identity a secret for personal reasons, not because I don’t trust her. And I told her that the team might kick me out if they knew who I was. I probably shouldn’t have told her that. It was the first time I said that out loud, and now it feels really real. She said she understood and that if I did tell her, she wouldn’t tell anyone. And I believe her, I just...the more people know, the more likely it’ll be that someone I don’t want to know finds out. Like Gambit. Or dad.
She said the only reason she asked for my identity was because she wants a normal life outside of the team. I get that. And I’m trying. I mentioned “her friend Atlanta,” and I feel like that helped. If she ever finds out, I hope she realizes I was trying to be her friend in the ways I could, not that I was tricking her or anything. Not that I can do as much as I’d like. I can’t even invite any of my friends over. All of my friends are superheroes without secret identities. Dad would...I can’t invite them over. But I’m trying to be a friend anyway.
But!!! She also mentioned hanging out with Ellen and I wanted to ask about it so bad but I don’t know if Verve should know about that because honestly it was only obvious because I’m both of me? But I wanna know! Did they have that conversation? Did it go well? Are they dating? Maybe I’ll ask Ellen. How do you even start that kind of conversation? “Hey did your ‘oh I finally realized you were flirting with me’ conversation with Tay go well?” I feel like that exceeds even my threshold for awkward. (Still wanna know though.)
Anyway, this was a really nice mission. It was more relaxing than a lot of them recently, and we got to help a cute alien get back to their family. I love doing this. Being in Big Team, helping people, fixing things. I can’t imagine life without it anymore.

## S3E134 - When the Last Star Dies

Just. Well.
Fuck.
 Dad knows. My mask burned off and I looked right at him and he knows and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. This is like, my whole thing. I hide so Dad doesn’t know and kick me out for having powers, so the team doesn’t know and kick me out because they think I’m in Gambite...and now so many people know. And one of them is Bloodshot. Who’s really Casper. Just...fuck.
Let me back up a bit. I went to Dad’s hospital because Jasper got food poisoning (I ate the same thing I made for him, so it can’t be my fault...right?). But then there was an explosion, and an elevator was falling, and I stopped it even though I wasn’t in costume and it really, really hurt. But I don’t think anyone saw me, not that it matters now.
 And then gravity was weird. Everything felt off, and outside the hospital everything went dark. The hospital and everyone inside had been phased, but I didn’t find that out until later. There were also a bunch of people “auditioning” for Gambite, which is why this whole thing was happening in the first place. I’m calling them the Wannabes. All of them were captured.
I went up to investigate the site of the explosion, which now I know was Bella’s room. I didn’t find anything. Then my phone rang. It was my dad’s number, and I could hear tapping on the other side. It’s a code we’ve set up with Jasper, and he was calling for help. I got up there very quickly.
Jasper, Dad, Red Devil, and two villains I didn’t know (hereafter referred to as Weird Eyes and Hypno-Jerk -- I don’t know if they have villain names and I don’t care about them enough to find out) were in Jasper’s room, but Dad was unconscious. Red Devil was between the Wannabes and my family. Jasper looked so scared. But I went a few doors down and released all that energy from the elevator falling on me as a distraction. RIP that hospital room. But it worked. I had enough time to get Dad and Jasper out. Red Devil told me to take them and he’d stall, and I didn’t know at the time that the Wannabes were there to kill Star-Studded...
If I had known...I don’t know. I don’t know if I still would have left Red Devil behind. I know it wouldn’t have made a difference, Weird Eyes kicked my butt, but would that make me a bad hero? If I chose Dad and Jasper over someone? This is like that shitty morality trolley test.
But I didn’t know, so I got Dad tucked away before I realized that Weird Eyes was following us and could see through walls. I told Jasper to stay put and I went to fight them. And, like I said, they kicked my butt. Aside from seeing through walls, they could negate powers. And let me tell you, I’m kinda useless in a fight without them. And then Jasper came out and hit them with a broken chair leg or something. I think I’d be proud if I wasn’t so scared. Hypno-Jerk came out with Red Devil following obediently behind. Weird Eyes told Hypno-Jerk that they’re taking Jasper, too, and then they all disappeared.
I don’t really think I need to explain how that felt. To make things worse, Dad woke up and started freaking out about both of his kids. I left. I was freaking out enough without trying to explain myself to him.
But then I realized I had signal. I could get an alert out to Big Team. And they answered not long after. Gwen, Rescue (and Search), the Jackal (who was passed out), and adult Lancelot (who was carrying Jackal, but also, holy shit adult Lancelot showed up???) all got into the building. They told me that the Wannabes and probably Bloodshot are there to kill Star-Studded, and I told them about the two I ran into and that they have Jasper.
 Gwen said something about how that pretty much eliminated Atlanta me as a member of Gambite, which would have been a relief if things had ended differently.
In the stairwell, we almost got crushed by Rocky, then had a fight against another Wannabe with fancy magic boots in the stairwell. The stairs were destroyed (probably by Kieran, hate that guy), but we all got to the top. Lancelot stayed down there to look after Rocky and watch Boots.
On the roof, Kieran had Jasper. He monologued for a minute before I tried to punch him. My punching record for the day was not good. Kieran increased the gravity around me and I couldn’t touch him, but at least Gwen got in there and made him to let go of Jasper.
 Also Bloodshot had Bella, and Weird Eyes, Hypno-Jerk, and some person in a Tron suit were there, and there were some civilians hanging off the edge of the roof, but like, can anyone really blame me for being distracted? I don’t really know what happened to everyone else in the fight. But like I said, your little brother being threatened by a villain is distracting.
 Remember that increased gravity? Yeah. Kieran crashed me down through several floors. I’m not gonna say it hurt less than the elevator falling on me, but I will say my sense of pain was severely skewed by that point in the day. I tried to turn into lightning, then I tried to absorb the energy of the impact, and none of it worked. By the time I was able to move again, my mask was gone. And people were coming. My dad was one of them. I was obscured by rubble, but it wouldn’t last for long.
 And then Jackal landed next to me. She had Jasper. And something changed. I can’t explain it, and I know I wasn’t thinking clearly anymore, but I stood up. I looked my dad in the eye. And I went back into the fight. Without my mask. I shoved Kieran off the roof (which was incredibly satisfying), knocked out Hypno-Jerk, and absorbed Bella’s energy out of Bloodshot and put it back into her, and shoved Bloodshot back. Their mask broke. And they’re really Casper. A very possessed Casper, but yeah.
They got away, but I’ve been thinking about the energies I felt inside of them when I was saving Bella, and I could feel the difference between Bloodshot and Casper. I could get Bloodshot out. The thing is, if I did, where would I put them? I don’t want to get possessed instead. That’s a problem for later, though.
(Bloodshot was also in the process of absorbing these weird black things that I guess Rescue summoned or something? I guess they’re called Horrorterrors? I hope I didn’t absorb any of that, or put any into Bella…)
Maybe it makes me a bad hero, but throwing Kieran off a building is a moment I will cherish forever. He deserves worse for threatening Jasper.
And that was the day. Gwen gave me a new mask. Kieran was arrested. (And the others I guess.)  And now I’m waiting in Jasper’s room while he sleeps.
 Melody came to see me and check on Jasper, which was really nice of her. She said I could stay with her and Ellen if Dad kicks me out. So that’s something I guess.
 I just feel...exhausted. Like, I’ve spent so much time and energy on making sure this didn’t happen, that no one found out, and now at least seven people know. I just...I’m not sure what the point is anymore. But what am I without this? Without the secrets and the lies...would that just be better? Everyone knows who Rescue is now...but as soon as Weird Eyes thought Jasper meant something to me, he took him. If the lies keep Jasper safe, they’re worth it.
I don’t know. I still have to go home and talk to Dad. Jasper should be discharged soon. I’m so glad he’s okay. I guess there’s that.
 Addendum:
I talked to Dad. He said he looked up Verve, and said he should be proud of me but he’s not. And that I should have told him a long time ago, like when we met at the school. Then he said a lot of stuff about my responsibility to Jasper, how I need to think of him. How I’m putting my life in danger for no reason. I said saving people isn’t no reason, but he didn’t seem to think that was enough. And he said how he’d be a terrible father if he let me keep doing this. I told him I wouldn’t quit. He threatened to move to New York to get me to quit. I told him I’m not going to go with him if he does, but he might take Jasper and leave...I don’t know what I’d do without him. And it wouldn’t be my fault if Dad takes him away...but it would feel like it. He said he was going to talk with my team leader about making me quit. Since Godspeed doesn’t know, and I don’t want him to know, I heavily implied it was Cyclone. Another lie for the books. But hey, at least he said he wouldn’t consider kicking me out? And that he loved me. But this isn’t over, not by a long shot.
The talk didn’t go great is what I’m saying. And Jasper saw us fighting. He pretended to be asleep when I went in to check on him, but I saw him run from Dad’s office door.
 I still don’t know if he knows I’m Verve. I don’t know if he saw. And I don’t know if I want him to know. I thought Dad rejecting me would be the worst thing that could happen...but Jasper would be far worse.
 …….I should try to sleep.

## S3E139 - A Very Challenge Thanksgiving

The last few days have been rough. I mean, not only was Sunday just...awful...Thanksgiving was mo...why can’t I even write it smoothly. Thanksgiving was mom’s favorite holiday. So. It’s usually...not a great time. I skipped school on Monday, but I went on Tuesday. Thankfully (ha) no one expects much of us before break. Dad and I have kind of been avoiding each other. I mean, I’ve been avoiding everyone, but I don’t live with most of them.
 The good thing about having a nurse for a father is that he has terrible hours. That’s sometimes a bad thing, but it means that when I get up at 3 am to stress bake cupcakes, he can’t tell me to go back to bed because he’s at work. And if Jasper noticed, he didn’t say anything. (I’m really worried about him. He’s been through so much lately.)
If Challenge hadn’t made her alert sound like the world was going to end, I probably would have skipped this mission. Maybe most of the others knew Challenge well enough to know that she was exaggerating and that’s why so few of us showed up. But I guess Gwen, Leap Year, Patch, Boon, and I are just suckers.
It’s Thanksgiving! Time to pretend like everything isn’t falling apart. So, uh, let’s start with some highlights.

* I met Patch! We didn’t get to talk much, but she seemed really nice!
* Boon has a hero outfit now and it looks really really good and just. Why are my friends so pretty???
* I got to hang out with Gwen most of the time.
* I finally got to meet Brimstone. Best pup.

 I’m not making a list of low-lights because that seems against the spirit of the holiday, and also I’m going to be describing them in a minute, but if I was, that animated butter cow that Boon made would be number one. It was just really, really creepy.
 To start from the beginning (AKA the point where Challenge told us why we were there), apparently Mr. Crossover forgot to plan the mayoral Thanksgiving party, and we had to save him from ruining Thanksgiving. So she gave us a list and we divided and conquered to get all the stuff we needed.
Gwen and I went to Shady Glen to get a cornucopia filled with seasonal gourds and foliage. She distracted Carol while I got the stuff. I get the feeling that Carol wouldn’t be okay with us cutting roses and that’s why Gwen had to distract her. I hope that never comes up if I need to move in.
That went pretty quickly. There were some protests blocking the streets that started after Leap Year tweeted to find an avian American who would be ceremoniously pardoned by Mr. Crossover during the event. #pardonrooster is still trending. So we had to fly to Screamin’ Beans, which was having a Santa visit. Which is stupid. It’s November. Why.
We have to get past some very tall guards dressed like elves (first of all, why are there guards for this kind of thing?) who didn’t believe that Gwen worked there. We pushed past them. I was kinda useless, but Gwen talked to the Santa who was there (who was really weird and called the kids flesh bags?) and also convinced Leslie Process to give us 40 pies. Part of the deal was that Gwen would throw a pie in Challenge’s face for advertising purposes, but I’m pretty sure Gwen just wants to throw a pie at Challenge.
I mean, I guess it was my idea to load the pies onto a pallet in the alley, and tie the pallet to Gwen. So I did one thing.
 On the way back, some pies fell off and hit some protesters. I tried to apologize, and they shot a cannon at me that covered me in something sticky, then feathers. You know that “straw that broke the camel’s back” saying? I broke down right there, just silently sobbing…
...anyway, Gwen carried me back to base. Not sure how she managed to carry me, the pies, and the cornucopia, but I didn’t ask. She took me to the locker room so I could shower before anyone else saw me, which was nice. It took forever to get all that out of my hair. Some might still be there. This is way worse than spaghetti.
 By the time I got out, we had everything except some sweaters. The others had gotten things at the same time as Gwen and I were out. But overall, Thanksgiving was saved. Yay.
I guess I should mention, the protesters showed back up with that cannon and a helicopter, and I almost made them crash into Mr. Crossover and all the councilmembers. So. Good job, me. But some weird turkey thing called the Gobbledegooker showed up and got rid of them? At that point, I wasn’t going to question it.
 After that, I spent as much time in the corner with Brimstone as possible.
(Challenge can never know, but I did feel better at the end of the day, even if I was coerced into leaving the house under false pretenses.)

## S3 Finale Prologue - School's Out

I don’t even know where to start for this one. So much happened. But...we won. Gambite’s gone.
I’ve never been superstitious about Friday the 13th, but I might start. I guess I should begin at lunch, when the Y Girls tried to get me to skip school to get ice cream. Aside from that one time, I don’t skip school without a really good reason. And I’d say emotional trauma is a good reason. Anyway. Melody came to my rescue, and then old Jackal came up out of nowhere and shot the Y Girls with tranquilizers???? I mean, I wasn’t mad about that part, but it’s just so weird??? But she came in, was all mysterious and “get some friends and meet me in the assembly hall tonight.” And then she implied that she knew who I was. Melody promised she hadn’t told her, so maybe she was bluffing.
We met up with Seth and Aman, since they’re who Melody invited to join us. Apparently Aman lost his eye. So, I mean, ouch. And that also means he lost The Eye, and his powers. I tried to ask Seth about it while Aman and Melody talked, but Seth asked if I was on the team and I couldn’t exactly say yes, because secret identity, and I couldn’t exactly say no, because that’s a lie and I’m really bad at direct lies. So, I floundered and then we stood there in very awkward silence until Aman and Melody came back.
 That night, we met in the assembly room in front of Casper’s plaque, in costume. Well, Aman doesn’t have a costume anymore, but everyone else was in costume. Especially me. Old Jackal and Bella were there, and they explained that they know how to save Casper, and the reason Gambite was trying to kill Bella at the hospital was because she knew what Bloodshot is and how to stop them.
And then of course because she’s awful she pretended not to know who I was, then said “it’s hard to recognize you with your mask on” after I reminded her that I saved her life. What a jerk.
Jackal told us that the Smithtons helped Bella make a magic ritual, and we were all going into Casper’s head to save them. Old Jackal was going to perform the ritual even though she doesn’t really know magic, and was just following instructions, so that was a promising start to this venture. I mean, I don’t have a single clue about magic, but Aman said “magic is fucky” so why are we letting someone with no experience head up this ritual? But she started the ritual, and it was working.
And then MY DAD WALKED IN. AND CALLED ME ATLANTA. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.
I mean, the only two there who didn’t know were Aman and Seth. And I don’t really care that Aman knows, but I don’t really know Seth well enough to be really comfortable with him knowing. (And if Old Jackal was just being mysterious and acting like she knew secrets that she really didn’t know earlier, she knows now.)
Dad started yelling at me about slacking with the rest of my stuff, and pulled out the line "I don’t want to lose you like I lost your mom." Which, first of all, ouch. This is nothing like that. (Except that Jasper was left alone while both of us were gone without notice or a trace, but that’s Dad’s fault.) And this was NOT the time. But the ritual was done whether we wanted it to be or not, and then he got sucked in instead of Bella. Ugh. Dad. No. Why.
The six of us landed in the assembly room, but we were on the ceiling because everything was upside down. Which is really trippy. Also the school was the old version of the school, which I’ve never been to. So extra trippy. But we were successfully in Casper’s mind.
Dad was unconscious. He isn’t really equipped to deal with dimension hopping like the rest of us, either because of our powers or experience. I didn’t really want to leave him behind, though, and Old Jackal was a jerk about him being there. First she said that his well-being wasn’t important, and then told me to leave him there with her. Like, she JUST said she didn’t care if he got hurt, and I was supposed to trust her with him? Melody asked me to trust her, though. So I did. And we went off in search of Casper.
Side note: I had some electricity stored up, but there was nowhere for me to recharge so I wanted to save it for if I really needed to fly. I’ve never been somewhere I couldn’t recharge before. So that was stressful. I mean, I absorbed some other things to use offensively, but I can’t fly without electricity. I wonder if I could turn into something other than lightning to get around when I can’t recharge? Like when I absorbed that laser, could I have used that? I’ll have to experiment later.
Aman suggested we look for Casper beneath the bleachers, because that’s where Casper would go to get high. Of course, that meant that we had to go outside, where we’d fall up for eternity because that’s how gravity worked there. Seth made us ice bridges and stuff so we could get around. (It almost looked like he was going to fail, and I touched his shoulder to say something encouraging, but then I think I transferred some of my energy into him? Like I did with Bloodshot and Bella, but it wasn’t intentional this time. So uh, that was a thing?)
The school was full of phantoms. They weren’t solid, and they were younger versions of themselves. It was a little weird seeing that, since I didn’t know anyone before August. (Gravity was right for them, btw.) Also I felt bad for Seth, since I know he doesn’t like ghosts.
With the help of Seth’s ice, we made it to the bleachers. (Thank goodness he was there, because we’d just fall upwards forever if we fell off.) Casper was there with a phantom Gwen, but they looked way more solid than she did. Melody poked them, and Gwen vanished as Casper attacked. Seth got pushed off the bridge, but Melody’s security drone saved him. Then suddenly Casper was bound with chains, so they couldn’t do much more. But I did what I came to do: I tried to drain the negative energy out of Casper. But this wasn’t actually Casper, so I absorbed all of it. It was one of the phantoms. It was of this place, made up of some kind of dimensional energy.
Anyway, this made the whole place angry at us. Casper phantoms started coming out of the school. We were safe up on Seth’s ice bridge until they all started to merge into a giant Casper. I turned into lightning to try and distract it, which technically worked. I got thrown inside, and Melody followed me in, and they followed her. We lost them. But since we weren’t sure where Aman and Seth were, so we decided to keep looking for the real Casper.
We tried another classroom, then the music room. Inside, light was weird. There was a shadowy entity in the corner that apparently knew Melody? It called itself the Jackals, and said that Melody is the first Jackal to find them. First of all, creepy. Second of all, kinda cool? I don’t get it, but it gave her a new power, so that’s cool.
 We realized we couldn’t keep running around the school if we wanted to find Casper in a timely manner. Melody asked old Jackal for advice, and she told us that we should look for Casper where they wouldn’t want to be, since this was a prison for them. Which we really should have thought of. Dad wanted to talk to me, but old Jackal was fighting off Casper phantoms, and that seemed dangerous to have her trying to give him the communicator while fighting. Plus, still not the time, Dad. Not during a mission.
Aman got thrown into the building next to us at that point. He said that Seth was fighting someone called Anaya to the death. So. That was a thing. But he told us that Casper “died” in the boiler room, so that’s where we went. There were some glowing spaces down there that Aman told us were where he and the others who were there were standing when Casper “died.” We stepped into the lights and watched the scene play out.
 Casper was locked into a loop, dying over and over again. An entity, the Abyss, offered them a way out of the loop if only they let it in. And eventually they gave in. (Who wouldn’t?) The scene ended, and the Casper phantoms came into the room and merged into Bloodshot.
They started monologuing, saying that they won’t leave until Big Team is gone and other villain-y jerk stuff. Then old Jackal came in and kicked him in the head, which made me like her a little more. Dad was right behind her with a baseball bat. Then the room went all wonky, and suddenly we were all in the assembly hall. But we could see the real Casper trapped in their memorial plaque.
Aman charged Bloodshot, who called him trash and threw him across the room when they realized he didn’t have powers anymore. Dad tried to help but got thrown across the room, too. I already knew that I could absorb the bad Bloodshot energy out of Casper and that would free them, but now I realized that since I was in Casper’s head, that wouldn’t quite work. But I had absorbed that other Casper, who was part of this place, I guess? Made up of dimensional energy anyway. So when Aman and Jackal had them distracted, I pushed that energy into them, and it severed them from Casper. Casper was freed from the plaque, and Dad went to them.
And then Bloodshot started to grow.
Their body changed and twisted until they became a 20-foot-tall demon thing surrounded in boiling blood. It smelled awful. It called itself the Abyss and tried to fireball everyone, but I absorbed the fire (which was new, and also, ha, take that creepy demon thing). (Also, I don’t know about this thing’s pronouns, but I think in general calling otherworldly entities “it” isn’t incorrect?)
Anyway, Seth suddenly popped (literally, like teleported) in with an unconscious fish person who I assume is Anaya. He joins the fight. It didn’t take us long to finish the fight. But, I, uh, might have absorbed a lot of the Abyss’s energy. Remember when I was like “hey if I do that, I need somewhere to put it or else it’ll stay in me?” Um. I’m sure it’s fine.
But then the Abyss started to laugh, saying we’re too late. It opened up a portal/viewscreen/thing for us to see Halcyon. Yamato was making an announcement, some villain BS about humanity being at its darkest, how people have traded their free will for relying on heroes, blah, blah, I know better than you stupid sheeple. But then...she uh...the Watchtower laser...it hit City Hall. And the mall. And the Molecyon Hall of Fame...
And the Base.
 And killed everyone inside. And I could tell it was real. And everyone was freaking out. And uh, I think the Abyss tried to take over me? But I shoved it back. And I don’t know if it’s still here or not…
It’s probably not fine.
 But Seth asked if Casper could control time in there, since we were in their head. They were still unconscious, but I still had some dimensional energy. I could send a message back. Old Jackal told me I should send it to her employer, which I thought was dumb until she finally said her employer is Cyclone. So, I mean, yeah. I did that. (My first instinct was to send it to Gwen, but the team trusts him, too. I definitely wasn’t going to send it to Godspeed.)
Before I could do it, though, Dad pulled me aside and was just...he said none of this should be possible. And that he wanted to believe in me but didn’t. So. Ouch. But Aman stepped in, said that he believed in me. Which meant a lot. He said something like "You've got a goddamn superhero for a daughter, and you should be proud." I’m not crying. You’re crying. And then Dad said that he didn’t believe Aman, but he believed in me. It was an emotional rollercoaster.
And then I sent this to Cyclone: “This is Verve. You caught me trying to stop people who were breaking into the community center and helped me become a hero. Yamato and Gambite are making their move. They will use the Watchtower laser to attack City Hall, the Mall, Molecyon Hall of Fame, and the Base. It will kill everyone inside.”
(Can I add “messed with time” to my resume?)
 Seriously, though, it wasn’t a good feeling. I still feel weird. I feel, I don’t know, off somehow? I mean, I’m sure it’ll wear off, I just don’t like it. Note to self: never mess with spirit world/dimensional energy again.
And then we were stuck in Casper’s head while we waited to see if the team would be successful. So we had a lot of time to talk.
 Melody and I talked. "That was pretty cool, not letting all our friends die" is literally a thing she said to me. Which is a funny way to put it, in hindsight. And she explained that she’d been to an upside-down place like this before and ran across the Jackals. She said she messed something up there, and will need to fix it. And she asked if I’d come along. Of course I said yes. Melody is my friend. I’d do a lot for a friend. I went into Casper’s mind for them, and I don’t even know them. Of course I’d do it for Melody. We hugged. I really needed a hug. Honestly still do. I think my persona quota of needing hugs is higher than a normal person’s. Maybe I need a puppy. For hugs. That’s a bad idea. I can barely handle my life as it is, I can’t get a puppy. Maybe I can bribe Boon with cupcakes into hanging out with me and bringing Brimstone.
Uh, anyway. Everyone had been calling me Atlanta the entire time (which was really weird, being around only people who know), so I pulled Aman and Seth aside to tell them that keeping my identity secret was still really important to me and please don’t tell. I’m sure they would have agreed if Dad hadn’t interrupted. (Also people kept calling him Mr. Verve, which was cute and funny, but will be less so if they do it outside of Casper’s head.) He was really surprised that my teammates didn’t know, and went on some BS about how is he supposed to accept me and be proud of me if I wasn’t proud of myself. And that I needed to trust people, let them in, instead of taking on everything myself. And like, I guess he has a point with that last part. But still. That’s not why I keep my identity secret. It’s complicated! And it’s been so important to me to keep it secret for so long, I don’t just want to tell everyone. Maybe that’s not fair to them, but this is special and important to me, and I don’t like how many people know now who I didn’t choose to tell. It’s not something I can take back, so I don’t want to rush into it. If that makes any sense.
 Dad said he needed me to show that I was proud of what I did in order for him to stay in Halcyon. And I guess he wants me to do that by telling people who I am. I told him about while he was unconscious at the hospital, and Jasper hit Weird Eyes with a chair leg, and Gambite took him because they thought he was important to me. So I’m not going to tell everyone. But I’ll start telling my teammates. Soon...eventually. He also said he still wasn’t okay with the hero stuff, but I think he understood why I do it a little more.
Aman and I talked, too. He asked me if he can be a hero without powers. He said he hurts a lot more, and the Eye did a lot of things for him; he used to be stronger and faster and was able to take more of a beating. He's not sure about being a hero anymore. He wants to do this, but he doesn't know if he's capable. I told him if this is what he wants to do, he’ll find a way to do it. No matter what. It’s be different and difficult, but I’d help him if he wanted. Not that I can relate to losing my powers, but I can help him train and stuff. It seemed like it made him feel better anyway. I hope so, I really like Aman.
And then we talked about that day where he, Ellen, and I ran around school investigating Kurt, and how I must have been dying of laughter inside at how bad he was at keeping his identity secret. And, I mean, I was. We laughed about it. I’m glad he knows, it felt really good to laugh about it and reminisce. (No this is not evidence that telling the entire team is a good idea. Just certain people. Like, I’d rather Seth didn’t know. Or Rescue. I don’t know them. Or the villains, but that’s another thing.)
And then we waited. Even though I was really worried, I kept falling asleep, mostly on whoever was sitting next to me. Even Old Jackal once. Which is mortifying. I guess all the stress and lack of sleep got to me.
 I was extra worried about Jasper. I know that we have emergency contacts and stuff, but he was all alone. Dad and I vanished on him just like Mom. Dad says one of us needs to tell him I’m Verve, and I know he wants it to be me. After all this, I owed him that much. I love him so much, and I hate how much he’s gone through recently because of me.
 But everyone was okay. No one died. The laser was destroyed. The Smithtons’ got us out of Casper’s head. They’re still unconscious, but it seems like they’re going to be okay. Honestly the worst part is that Bella was taking care of Jasper while Dad and I were in there. She should NOT be trusted with a child. She also told him I was Verve. Seriously, does NO ONE know what a secret identity is???
I am absolutely exhausted. I couldn’t even muster enough energy to fly home. But I’m home now. I’m safe. Jasper’s safe. Dad’s safe. We saved Casper. I saved my friends. We did good. It’s a good tired.

## Time Passes, the Break

December 19, 2019

I can’t fly. Everything feels wrong when I try. I tried over and over and I can’t and I don’t know why and it scares me.…...

……….what’s wrong with me?

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