Episode 43

"*There might be starving children.*"
—G Man
**Episode 43** is an episode of Drunken Peasants. It features the infamous "debate" between G Man and Dusty Smith.

## Highlights

* Dusty has AIDS.
* A rabid John Cena hater.
* G Man as a woman.
* G Man vs. Dusty.
* Racist lesbians sue over "wrongful birth."
* Some questions.

## Videos Played

1. Bionic Dance Parody....
2. Man Stabbed Over Walmart Parking Lot Spot
3. Anti-Semetic Presidential Campaign (can't find)
4. Fox News Priest on Satanic Mass: It’s Not Protected Free Speech!
5. Woman sues sperm bank, claims she received wrong specimen
6. Man Breaks Into White House (can't find)
7. Cops Shoot a Negro (can't find)

## Start of the Show

The show begins with TJ incognito wearing Ben's mask. The peasants discuss TJ's failure to quit smoking. It's revealed the perfect atmosphere for TJ is a smoky tobacco atmosphere. They then played a video of some screaming WWE fanboy, Bruce Blitz, who takes his hatred of John Cena too far. TJ said the hate was so strong and passionate that he almost wanted to defend Cena.

They next tried to get Jaclyn Glenn on the show, but she didn't pick up. TJ said that the show must go on without her and they instead decided to call up Dusty Smith. He didn't pick up either so TJ left a long message about how Dusty is a piece of shit and has AIDS.

They then went into a video about G Man parodying a YouTuber named Bionic Dance who claims that rocks are atheists. All TJ cared about was that G Man was crossdressing in the video. They finished up the video and called Dusty.

They had Dusty on and talked about how he has AIDS and claims he's never killed a woman, but TJ has his suspicions. They discuss G Man's rivalry with Dusty and decide to call G Man, but he didn't fucking pick up. In lieu of G Man, they played a video about two dumbasses who got into a knife fight over a fucking parking spot, at Walmart of course. Ben said that if this took place in New Mexico they probably would have gotten shot.

Next up was a story about a write-in candidate from Kentucky. He has the reasonable campaign slogan of "*With Jews We Lose."* TJ reveals he believes 20 million people died in the Holocaust. They return to the video and some soccer mom gets all salty about it.

Scotty plays Cena's theme song and Dusty talks about the time they both met. TJ and Dusty agree to join forces and sell AIDS. They moved into a video about some catholic fucks talking about freedom of speech and burning religious texts. There's a Satanic public gathering going on and they can't have any of that! So they have a completely unbiased Catholic priest to discuss it. They decided the video was shit and moved on.

Next up there was a story about two racist lesbians who were pissed because they got "the wrong sperm" resulting in a black child. They parents sued, calling their child a "wrongful birth." Dusty summarized the whole story as "give me money because i'm racist." They peasants then begin their rapid chant of the #KillTJ campaign.

Following was a video about some guy who sneaked into the White House and actually wasn't shot. He probably only survived because he's not black. Then another story about some black dude who got shot because he totally could have been reaching for the non-existent gun. All because he never had a seatbelt. Strangely, the cop was actually reprimanded. They then took a break.

## Middle of the Show

After they returned TJ said he wanted to fuck Bill Maher's mom. They quickly advertised the DP shirt. They then decided to get G Man and Dusty on. Dusty couldn't make it right away so they had G Man preform his rap against TJ. It was shit. Then Dusty finally returned to the show, and got into an urban squabble with G Man.

The entire was debate was a ton of bullshit back and forth nonsense, with G Man repeating the same handful of questions and ignoring any answers. G Man then started making personal attacks against Jaclyn Glenn. He also asked Dusty to prove that he was black and the peasants had a laugh. G Man then tries to prove Dusty is "his own God." G Man tries to say there's no atheists in New Jersey. They "debate" went so wild that the show turned to anarchy. G Man demanded the peasants present a starving child and lost the debate. He was promptly booted from the show. They peasants than discussed the joke of a debate that occurred before them. They took a second break.

## End of the Show

They got Dusty back on the podcast, the show ended off with the Q&A segment:

* The first question was funny stories the peasants have done relating to pan. TJ claimed that Ben once got high and killed a bunch of people.
* The second question was whether or not a taco was a sandwich. The peasants concluded it wasn't, Dusty decided to found the Taco Party.
* The third question was what music that peasants listen to when high on pan, TJ answered Pink Floyd and Dusty answered Kanye West.
* Fourth was a question from Egghead about their opinion on Chris Nolan, the peasants all thought he was talented.
* Fifth was a question about the common view of male submissives in society. TJ said it wasn't something he believed was on the mind of mainstream society.
* Sixth was a question on if the peasants liked the AVGN movie. Only Ben had seen it, and he said it was great.
* Seventh was the peasants' favorite *Super Mario* title. Scotty said Super Mario Bros 3, TJ said Yoshi's Island, and Dusty said the original.
* Eighth was a question from Teddy Rubskin, he insulted G Man and asked the peasants and asked the peasants about some chick with three tits. The peasants agreed it was awesome. The second was their favorite classic games consoles. Dusty said Commodore 64, Ben said the NES, and TJ said the Super Nintendo.
* Ninth was a question from John Cena about their favorite Pink Floyd album. The peasants heard the question wrong and skipped it.
* Tenth was a question about the weirdest roadkill the peasants have ever seen and the peasants tried to call G Man. TJ said the fucking question was shit and they moved on.

They wrapped up the show and Scotty advised the drunken audience to smoke pan everyday.

## Quotes

* *"At that point smoking would make sense, if you were facing mortal peril at every second."* - Scotty explains the only good reason to smoke cigarettes.
* *"Fuck you Jaclyn, you piece of shit! Boo!"* - TJ being the most understanding fucker ever.
* *"Dusty had AIDS and he killed a girl. He killed a bitch. So yeah, Dusty has problems. Dusty's a bad guy." -* TJ being a good friend.
* *"Fuck you, Dusty. I hope you die of AIDS real soon."* - Part of TJ's message to Dusty.
* *"I always though macaroni and cheese was a devout southern baptist."* - TJ
* *"TJ doesn't really give away much. But I think he'd give AIDS to people." -* Scotty
* *"Answer da phone Dusty! Answer da fuckin' phone!"* - TJ getting impatient.
* *"Suck this darkie outta me!"* - TJ's impression of the racist lesbian.
* *"Bananas are for eating, not anal disasters."* - Part of G Man's rap.
* *"JonTron sucked my dick once."* - TJ
* *"Dusty... when you gonna wipe that dust off you and debate me?"* - G Man's idea of a joke
* *"Show me some empirical evidence!"* - G Man demands evidence of starving children.
* *"I... I don't know where she is..."* - Ben
	+ *"She's in California"* *-* TJ
		- *"Oh, fuck you, TJ."* - Ben

## Trivia

* Ben and Cena are in the closet together.
* TJ is too afraid to debate TrueEmpiricism because he thinks he would die of boredom.
* Ben would fuck a female version of G Man after a couple beers.
* TJ likes G Man because he's insane.
* Dusty has AIDS. Full-blown AIDS.
* AIDS is one of Dusty's favorite words.
* Younger Ben was a girly man.
* Dusty is trying to use weed to deconvert people to atheism. File:Rocks.jpg
* Dusty wouldn't know a Jew if he was kicking one.
* Scotty is the Emperor of the Galactic Empire.
* The Live Chat demanded JonTron be on the show.
* Dusty suggest that if everyone become white.
* Dusty likes the crazy ones.
* G Man isn't mentally sound.
* TJ is the pharaoh of atheism.
* Rocks are atheists.
* G Man believes in "little gods," which means he's breaking the first commandment.
* The existence of God is a democracy.

## References

1. ↑ https://youtu.be/iMKan\_Z-2yA?t=9m55s