Frederick de Bonesby

### Relatives

Otto de Bonesby (father), Regis de Bonesby (elder brother), Wulfric de Bonesby (elder brother), mother (unknown)

## Character Information

### Spells

Burning Hands, Scorching Ray, Detect Thoughts, Sleep, Detect Magic, Cloud of Daggers, Misty Step, Fireball, Gaseous Form, Hellish Rebuke

### Equipment

deck of cards, various wigs and clothes, wand of penance, spellbook

## Podcast Information

### Player

Christopher Hastings

*"Unfortunately due to some means beyond my control or comprehension, I did not become an undead lich wizard master. Instead, all of the magical power was stripped from my body, as well as my skin and my flesh and my fats."*

Once an elderly nobleman and powerful wizard, Frederick de Bonesby attempted to turn himself into a lich to escape his approaching death. Through some ritual mishap, he turned himself into a skeleton while losing almost all of his magical powers. Traveling with his personal chef Stirfry, the self-centered spellcaster returns to Polaris University to relearn his magic and complete his ritual. He accompanies the rest of the party in the Class Dismissed campaign.

Frederick is aloof, callous, and cold in most of his encounters. He shows no interest in, or understanding of, the feelings of others and exclusively puts himself first. He is extremely self-conscious of his appearance, breaking into a shrieking panic when he is seen without his wig or clothing. While confident in his intelligence, he is keenly aware of his physical and magical limitations and is first to flee a fight if he feels outmatched. He (very) slowly begins to understand the feelings of himself and others throughout the campaign.

## Appearance

Frederick appears as an animate human skeleton, but he makes efforts to blend into polite society whenever possible. He wears many outfits and accessories, primarily favoring a powdered wig and fine noble robes. He takes great pains to hide his skeletal appearance, and has even resorted to drawing pupils on ping pong balls to place in his hollow eye sockets.

After taking severe damage throughout their adventures, Frederick has his jaw and hand replaced with goblin bones by Brian Fuck. Over time, these bones exert more and more control over Frederick's speech and actions, eventually merging with his consciousness and coating his body with a green booger-like film, giving him a goblinoid appearance.

## Relationships

While Frederick was at the peak of his power, he caught a kenku trying to steal from him. He spared the bird's life and allowed him to serve as his personal cook while granting him the power of speech (normally lost to kenku). Before long, the kenku came to be known as "Stirfry" after an oft-requested dish. While Stirfry tends to grovel with Frederick and praise him at the slightest opportunity, Frederick is extremely callous and dismissive of him. He has claimed that Stirfry is a curse from the gods to teach him humility for playing god, and frequently refers to him as "my bird."

Frederick shows a particular interest in Cordelia, a fellow spellcaster. He is able to detect her demonic magic and has been known to give her pointers on her spellcasting. During The Cave and The Mistress, Frederick is chewed out by Cheddar (in the form of a cockroach) for his entitled attitude, causing him to self reflect and recommit to the party. He teaches Cordelia to better control her magic while they hide out in Fort Casual, serving as something of a tutor figure.

As the party travels through The Trashlands, Frederick's skeleton becomes heavily damaged. Upon meeting, the "Maestro of the Flesh", Brian Fuck, in the caverns underneath Ruleshaven, he learns that what's left of his body is close to death. Brian replaces his jaw and hand with the bones of goblin skeletons. Frederick is later disgusted and horrified to find the spirits of the goblins Goatse and Prolapse can exert control over his words and actions for short bursts. After much reflection, and some outside magical influences, he cooperates and even comes to enjoy the feeling of sharing a sense of oneness with them.

## Quotes

* *"Did NONE of you grow up with servants!? What are you DOING!?"*
* *"Who are you that knows such wisdoms that sweat is pee of the skin?"*
* *"I grow tired of the schemes of children."*
* *"DeBonesby draws his FREAKIN' magical fingers!"*
* *"A curiosity for information has literally hurt not a single thing ever!"*
* *"I take my coffee like any goblin does: mixed with Sprite."*
* *Freddy looks to the universe and says “I was right.”*

## Trivia

* According to Mother, Frederick's ritual for becoming a lich was perfect. It was something within him that was flawed that caused it to fail. Cheddar later enforces that Frederick is so emotionally closed off and selfish that he is unable to love, voiding the "blood of a loved one" component of the spell. The footage of Frederick botching his ritual is famous in Hell, considered hilarious by many of its residents.
* Frederick has vocal distrust of elves and has very strong opinions on the matters of master and servant relationships.
* Frederick lost his home after his failed ritual. The locals believed him to be a monster and burned down his manor. Frederick plans to extract revenge on those who wronged him.
* During their meeting with Count Ivan, Frederick admits to drinking human blood in the past.
* The de Bonesby family initially made their fortune by breeding, racing, and battling gryphons.
* Frederick is fascinated by most things arcane, approaching them with a scientific mindset.
* Frederick claims to have no particular religion but has expressed some detailed knowledge of Christianity throughout the series. He has shown interest in reading about religions both old and new. In truly desperate situations, he is willing to pray in hopes that a god will save him.
* In The Riddled Remnant, Christopher defined Frederick as being 4'10".
* Frederick is fluent in Infernal and Draconic.
* Frederick was blonde when he had his natural hair.
* Frederick had originally studied magic at Polaris University as a young man, well before the events of the campaign.
* Frederick has a limited understanding of animals. He believes that most animals are dogs, and that Cordelia and Albee are part dog themselves.
* When we overhear Frederick's ritual, Chris Hastings was requested to record some magic words for the scene. He recites a translated rendition of I Ain't Got Nobody.