Down for the Count

*Metaphorically at-sea and literally in-woods, our heroes struggle to survive encounters with the natives and wildlife of the Teenage Forest. Thirsty provincial royalty, swarms of altered beasts, secret societies, ancient mad scientists, and more await our heroes in the dark hollows of the great woods on this night. But will they all live to see the dawn?*

 Episode 2 of Rude Tales of Magic. Wherein the gang is beset by vampires and owlbears alike.

Previous episode: Class Dismissed

Next episode: Mother Knows Best

## Summary

The party decides to head to Albee’s house after the disappearance of Polaris University. Their discussion is interrupted by Count Ivan Gretsky, who is obviously a vampire, less obviously a bannerman of Frederick. He is looking for a meeting of the Friends of Bethel, which he knows is supposed to happen on Friday evening, at 7 o’clock, but he doesn’t remember exactly where he needs to go. The group tries to convince him that they are part of the Friends of Bethel (or the Friends and Family of the Friends of Bethel), but Ivan sees through their lies and starts to fight them. The party beats him into submission (down to one hit point); the majority accepts his plea for mercy, but Stirfry shoots him with a crossbow and leaves him for dead. The gang does learn that the year is still 497 AA and that Ivan felt a strong breeze through the woods a few hours before, when the university disappeared, but he has never heard of PU.

The party proceeds away from Count Ivan. Cordelia casts an illusory flame. Frederick suggests she study illusion magic, though both she and Bellow believe Cordelia’s magic is “real”. They come across a fallen redwood in the path. On the other side of the tree, Albee and Bellow startle an owlbear that nearly kills Bellow after he offers it a Tootsie Pop before Albee can calm it with her pan flute. As she reaches out for it, a swarm of bearowls (the opposite of an owlbear) attacks them. Cordelia and Frederick make it over the tree, but Stirfry fails to flip over it himself, knocking over a nest. An egg falls on his head and a newly born owlbear hatches. Stirfry decides to keep it, naming it Flipcup.

Bellow is close to death when a swarm of bats appears and drives off the bearowls. With the bats comes Count Ivan who demands Stirfry’s blood. He explains that he succumbed to his bloodlust and healed himself by drinking from a passing elf. The gang convinces him to have a meeting, sharing their flaws and addictions with each other. Ivan feels satisfied and leaves them to their travels. After (finally) healing Bellow, they are approached by a gnome riding on the owlbear from earlier. He introduces himself as Poopus, an eccentric researcher, or professor, who claims to have created the owlbears and bearowls. He understands the party fighting them given their temperament and offers to lead them to The Nest. The party rides owlbears into a colossal, hollowed-out tree that leads into a cave lit by bioluminescent moss with a beating heart at its center.

## Transcript

The fan-made transcript of Down for the Count is available here!

## Link

https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/down-for-the-count