B018 Secretly Hot

> "*Abandon all hope ye who enter here and let's get started with our character creation.*"
> ― DM James
>
>

**Secretly Hot** is the eighteenth bonus episode of Queens of Adventure. In it, the queens go through the full D&D character creation process for the first time.

## Summary

### Around the Mic

* Arson Nicki
* Butylene O'Kipple
* Fraya Love
* Londyn Bradshaw
* DM Matt
* DM James

The episode opens with the characters being excited to create their own characters. Initially, all of them had talked to Matt about what kinds of fantasy characters they like, and Matt and James created their main characters for them. Then for the Ravnica cast, the group used randomization to create characters. Londyn recalls being interviewed by Matt on a youtube stream (while getting ready for a pageant and making her fellow queens be silent for an hour so she could do the interview).

### Eurythmatics

DM James will be leading them through their character creations and asks them to start with figuring out how the group knows each other. An early idea was for an assassin book clubs which quickly evolved into a Mathlete's Club as a cover for Assassins. The group will be at a High School, but one where the ages are a little flexible. Matt suggests Fraya is the adviser for the club, but secretly hot (to the hilarity of the group).

Trying to decide on a group name, the group reveals the often stupidity of criminals (returning to the scene of the crime, giving their cover story a name that reveals their crime). They settle on Eurythmatics who will have roman numeral tattoos of the police code for murder.

### Races

The group review the thirty different options for races. Matt debates Kenku, but they can't really talk, just mimic sounds. Fraya looks over Tabaxis before being intrigued by Aaracokra and begins thinking about what bird to be. Butylene looks over shifters, and the group tries to come up with a were-porcupine. She also looks at an Earth Genasi, to bend dirt like Fraya bends water with *mould earth*. Arson feels committed to being the Changeling, while Matt has decided on a hairless tabaxi. Londyn is drawn to an Aasmiar, but a dark angel. James suggests Scourge Aasimar or Fallen Aasimar. Londyn leans towards fallen. James also said that aasimar can not know where their celestial heritage comes from.

Final choices:

* Fraya - Barn Owl Aaracokra
* Arson - Changeling
* Londyn - Fallen Aasimar
* Butylene - bear shifter
* Matt - Hairless Tabaxi

The group discusses what they like about these characters after a break to learn more about them and make some choices. Fraya is thrilled she can fly, but Londyn is pissed when she learns she cannot. Matt is excited that Tabaxis have obsessions and his is with the mystery of a long civilization and a mysterious birthmark he has which is a map of it. He purrs loudly when he is happy. Butylene thinks beasthide traits make the most sense for her werebear. Londyn gets a necrotic shroud to boost her fallen assimar. Arson takes divergent persona. After learning names are monosyllabic, but you add on based on the form you take. She will specialize in disguise kit and create an alternate identity, or fursona, of Bearbug the Bugbear.

### Classes

Satisfied, they move on to classes. Fraya instantly knows she wants monk, after playing one in Ravnica Part 1. Butylene thinks being a Sorceress would go along with her slowly rising werebear nature. James suggests a wildmagic origin to her powers. Arson thinks a rogue would be perfect. Londyn was debating Rogue or Wizard, but really just wants to be an assassin, but leans towards Wizard as Arson already has Rogue. Matt too wanted Rogue, but after discussing ways to be tricky and stealthy with James, ends up with a Cleric (hoping to become Trickster). The magical heritage guides him for a name towards some sort of Mr Meowstopheles name, or Mr. M.

Final Choices

* Fraya - Monk
* Butylene - Sorcerer
* Arson - Rogue
* Londyn - Wizard
* Matt - Cleric

### Ability Scores

James explains there are several ways of creating the ability scores that will drive the characters stats. He walks them through the 'Random' method of determining them. He has them roll four six sided dice to come come up with the six core stats: Strength, Dexterity, Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma. They take the four answers, drop the lowest, and assign the total to one of their six scores.

James from the future cuts in to jump things ahead thirty minutes past all their debating of what stats to fill in.

Final Scores

* Matt: Dex +4, Str +1, Chr +2, Wis +2, Con +0, Int -1
* Fraya: Str +1, Dex +5, Con +0, Int +1, Wis +2, Chr +0
* Arson: Str +0, Dex +1, Con +2, Int +1, Wis +1, Chr +4
* Londyn: Str +1, Dex +2, Con +2, Int +3, Wis -1, Chr (not disclosed)
* Butylene: Str -1, Dex +1, Con +3, Int +1, Wis +0, Chr +2

Butylene and James discuss how her scores fit a sorcerer who draws magic from charisma, not intelligence or wisdom, and wouldn't need strength.

### Backgrounds

After a chance for everyone to review backgrounds, the five announce their choices and James walks them through how this modifies their characters, including profiencies, equipment, and features.

Fraya: Noble from a mountain kingdom. Is a Princess, daughter of Thoth and Valkyrie, who learned martial arts because everyone learns them. She left to become a spy assassin because someone kidnapped her sister Athena (it's okay, she found her).

Arson: Charlatan. Goes from town to town as the new girl, always excited about the new place, and having wiped away their past life. Then they charm people to give them everything. Then they drop everything and move on to the next city.

Londyn: Urchin. She grew up on the streets alone. Provided for herself. Things that resonate with Londyn.

Butylene: Criminal (not spy). With her raw magic, it could come from contact with elemental portals. Her parents got into a dispute with their landlord, who murdered them. Before they died, they hid her in a portal which connected her to magic. She grew up in foster care with Nocturna, but she had to provide for herself and thus, criminal.

Matt: Smuggler. Art thief. He facilitates the theft of collectible items, taking them from speculators and liberating them for people who want the actual art. He collects stories on what people are obsessed with. He met Morningstar after stealing a necklace from her. A game of Owl and Pussycat.

### Names:

The group finalize names:

* Fraya: Morningstar
* Arson: Non
* Matt: Mr. M.
* Butylene: Osha Funshine
* Londyn: Nocturna

### Final Thoughts

Fraya feels like she finally understands how things about how characters work after two years of not understanding. She wants to use them as soon as possible (and hire Terry Blas for art).

Arson thinks it is very cool to now know how to build in strengths to a character. If she had designed a character originally, they may have been more general, but knowing the group she was able to focus on specific skills.

Butylene agrees that she doesn't have to be good at everything. It also was enlightening to see where her weaknesses were so she can find ways to turn them into strengths with equipment.

Londyn recalls talking to Matt about characters she loved, which led to her getting her character. So the sheet was confusing. But now that she did all of this, she is grateful for all the DMs did before hand.

James explains that this whole process is easier to do with others, as some of the rules are from older systems. Then, after you get it, it isn't that hard. He recommends using DnDBeyond.com to play around with character creation. The group agrees the process was useful, stressful, and fun. They also loved doing it as a group, which Matt says was his first time and making their world made the characters easier to find.

The group ends the episode asking for a chance to use the cast, and hoping for fan art.

## Episode Notes

### Please Welcome to the Stage

The final characters created for the show are: The Eurythmatics

* Morningstar - Barn Owl Aaracokra Monk Noble
* Mr. M - hairless tabaxi cleric smuggler.
* Nocturna - Fallen Aasimar Wizard Urchin
* Non - Changeling Rogue Charlatan
* Osha Funshine- Werebear shifter sorceress criminal

### References

* Totally Spies
* Mean Girls - The Limit Does Not Exist
* Powerpuff Girls
* Nicki Minaj
* Eurythmics
* CATS
* Judy Dench
* Doctor Who - Catkind
* Thundercats
* Mom and Dad Save the World
* Howard the Duck
* Jacob's Ladder
* Slender Man
* Disney's Gargoyles
* Rorshach from Watchmen
* Yogi Bear
* Paddington Bear
* Grumpy Cat
* Breakfast Club
* Toy Story
* My Chemical Romance
* Critical Role
* Liam Neeson in Taken
* Bob the Drag Queen - Purse First
* Aladdin
* Andy Warhol
* Mae West
* Grindr
* Mean Girls
* Mike Myers in Master of Disguise and Cat in the Hat

### Memorable Quotes

* "I don't support assassinating books." - Butylene O'Kipple
* "I still just want to be a stripper, but that's fun." - Fraya Love
* "We're Mathletes but we can only count to five, six, seven, eight." - Butylene O'Kipple
* "But Secretly Hot." - "*Secretly*?" - DM Matt and Fraya Love
* "No one knows I'm extremely attractive" - DM James
* "Now I'm thinking about weiners." - Londyn Bradshaw
* "Is there a hot girl option?" - Fraya Love
* "I'm just going to be a slab of meatloaf with tits." - "But secretly hot" - "Burn the roof of your mouth" - Fraya Love, DM Matt, and Butylene O'Kipple
* "A Little More Athletic than Judy Dench" - DM James
* "I can be hot if I want to, or I can be not hot if I don't want to." - Arson Nicki
* "Falling is kind of like flying." - Butylene O'Kipple
* "She's borderline scary charming." - Butylene O'Kipple
* "Bird Princess Liam Neeson?" - DM James
* "A Signet is a baby swan, so it could be a sickening signet ring which is a swan on your finger." - DM Matt
* "I'm feeling thirty, dirty, and flirty. Several times. Over and over again." - Arson Nicki
* "I'm not trying to be that bitch, but..." - "Yes you are... What?" - Londyn Brandshaw and Fraya Love
* "Do I get mortgage too in my proficiency?" - Londyn Bradshaw
* "Watch out bitch. I'm gonna slight of hand your mortgage and like swipe swipe... paid!" - Londyn Bradshaw
* "But in this economy you might have disadvantage on wisdom saving throws." - Butylene O'Kipple
* "Osha Funshine." - "She investigates workplace crime." - Butylene O'Kipple and Arson Nicki
* "All right, let's get mathematic." - DM Matt
* "I need you to stop using your Mae West voice." - Londyn Bradshaw

## Behind the Queens

* The events of this episode were teased by the queens and Matt during the August 2019 Live Stream, Mr Boogaloo's Dungeon Dash, having been recorded shortly before on August 11th.

* This episode dropped the same day as the Minneapolis Style show.

**Greetings From Fire Island**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Show Must Go On**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Operation Watersport**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - Ch7 - **Trials**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Ghosts of the Coast**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Devil's Due**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Special**: The Story So Far
**The Beautiful Place**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **A Dance in the Dark**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Drama in the Deep**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **Whispers From the Heart**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Danger Rangers!**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Mist Connections**: Ch1 - Ch2
**Unreleased**
Lost: Camp Crystal Light - Pax West 2018 --  vs the Lizard People
Live Shows: Seattle Style -- Minneapolis Style