2021 Power Rankings-Bowl Week

## Introduction

And so at last, the final battle.

It seems to have been written by the fantasy gods themselves, a budding rivalry so perfect, so rife with tension and controversy and mutual respect, that it could come down to no other teams.

Two teams. A commissioner and a rebel.

The Multiverse of Mattness, a team equal parts "I quit" and "I'm going all in." Half cocky, half self-deprecating. A season that began like the previous two, with an opening day win followed by a string of crushing defeats. But unlike last year, they broke the tailspin with ballsy trades. Injuries plagued them, as it so often does in fantasy. But the only manager that was truly beating Commish was Commish. Their start/sit decisions were wrong basically all year. As intelligent as they were in their add/drops, they were equally stupid in their start/sits. It was a truly astonishing level of mismanagement. But the talent overcame the stupidity, and after breaking the record for playoff margin of victory in back-to-back weeks, they head to the Glory Bowl with a more than legit chance at claiming the most precious prize. But one man stands in their way...

The Stupid Idiots. After being outcast in 2012 for misdeeds detrimental to the integrity of the league, Idiots came back a husband, a father, and a savvy fantasy football player. After starting the season by accidentally drafting Jonathan Taylor, Idiots went bonkers. It was clear they were having their best season, and it only got better when they pulled off a heist of epic proportions in acquiring Tyreek Hill from the flailing Sweet Dee. But that wasn't all. Elsewhere in the Fantasyverse, Idiots was at war with Commish over unique gamesmanship techniques in Headhunters. After being run out of town just like in 2012, Idiots became laser-focused in LOC and bent on revenge.

The two teams met twice in the regular season and fittingly split the series.

Now, a manager out to prove he is not an outcast but a champion will do battle with the tyrant who has tried to supress him for a decade. And a commissioner who has tried harder than anyone to win this league over the last decade will get his first shot at glory since a 2012 humiliating defeat in Glory Bowl II.

For the third time in the last four seasons, the two teams in the Glory Bowl will be playing for their first championship. After the reign of Shotti, parity has returned to the LOC. It is chaotic, unpredictable, and glorious.

## Matchup Recap

* The Stupid Idiots nearly breaks the single game scoring record in an all-time performance vs. ma ma momma said (6-5).
* The Multiverse of Mattness continues an exciting and improbable playoff run with a nailbiting win over Duck Punchers (8-11).
* RIPDab finally gets a postseason win against their arch nemesis, The Shotti Bunch (9-13).
* Pain Train wins the 2021 rubber match vs. long time enemy Paddock 9 (12-7).
* Papa's Posse gets a third win on the season vs. a lifeless Sweet Dee (9-8).

## Semifinals - How it Went Down

* The Stupid Idiots vs. ma ma momma said
	+ I'm not even sure this requires a breakdown.
	+ When Idiots added Joe Burrow earlier this season (October 11th), no one may have thought much of it. But in reality, this was a huge moment for the fate of The Stupid Idiots. TSI has gotten 10 starts out of the Cincy QB and none was bigger than their 73.63 last Sunday.
	+ The also dealth 54.80 to Tee Higgens, one of Idiot's keepers. ***Just those two players, on that one team, in that one game, combined for 128.43. That would have been enough to beat Sweet Dee by 8.43 points.***
	+ Idiots also capitalized on the COVID-19 outbreak on the Chargers by starting Justin Jackson, who gave him 44.05.
	+ I could go on and on, but just take my word for it that their entire team played great with the exception of Tyreek Hill.
	+ On the other side of things, it didn't really matter what momma did. There wasn't room in the LOC for two 365+ performances. But it didn't help that Chase was probably the worst starter for the Bengals that day, even with his 26.90 points. It didn't help that James Robinson left early with a torn achilles. It didn't help that Kittle/Goedert combined for just 9.30. It just...none of it helped. Even 40 points from Dallas and 54.03 from Prescott did little besides mask a real stinker of a week for momma.
	+ Momma was the Commissioner's Cup trophy winner this year, but faced a combined 648.03 in his last two games (an average of 324.02) and really couldn't have done anything about it.
* The Multiverse of Mattness vs. Duck Punchers
	+ Everything in life comes in threes. Deaths, jokes, and fantasy matchups.
	+ On Thursday night, Mattness set the tone with the resurgence of AJ Brown. Brown absolutely crushed the second half of his game vs. San Francisco, putting Commish's projection miles above Duck Punchers. It was a good start, but it was just that: a start.
	+ On Saturday, Aaron Rodgers dropped close to 40 points in a decent, albeit below projection, performance against Cleveland. Now Mattness was up by close to 100 before Duck even took the field. After AJ Green caught just one ball for Duck on Sunday night, the vibes were good in club Mattness.
	+ That's when part two of the matchup took place. Duck Punchers went absolutely NUTS on Sunday, and hope went out the window faster than Kaepernick's career when he stood up for his basic human rights.
	+ Josh Allen and Damien Harris dueled back and forth for Duck the entire 1pm window, combining for SIX touchdowns in the Bills vs. Patriots game. Elsewhere, it was the Cincy show. While Idiots was setting records with Joe Burrow, it was Duck who benefited most. 42.33 from Joe Mixon, including some garbage time knife twists, and another 27.90 from Boyd. But of course, even in a blowout, Baltimore couldn't fucking lay down. Mark Andrews balled out for 33.90. That game alone gave Duck 104.13.
	+ If there was one saving grace for Mattness, it's that Houston demolished the LAC defense and he came away with just 3 points from that position
	+ All hope was essentially lost, but all things come in threes: On Monday night Mattness had Waddle, Kamara, and a secret weapon in Miami defense. With Saints QBs out with COVID, Commish was banking on a huge night from the Dolphins D. And he got it.
	+ Essentially, Commish needed Kamara to have an okay night, Waddle to blow by his projection, and Miami to absolutely ROCK. Waddle, 29.40, and Kamara 10.65. And Miami defense, 41. Forty one. And it was a 4th down INT on the final play of the night that gave Mattness the narrowest victory in LOC playoff history.
	+ It was a great week for both teams, and Duck brought it. It's one of those games where you really don't want either team to lose. Even as the winner, I wish there had been a way for us both to advance. But look, here's the reality: you don't bench your lineup on your bye week. You just don't. Glorio hates that shit.

## The History of the Top Seed

Every top-seeded team that won the semifinals has won the Glory Bowl. Momma was not able to accomplish that this season.

## Stat Chat

* The Stupid Idiots has just posted the best semifinals performance of all time and the second best performance in LOC history.
* With victories over Shotti and Duck in back-to-back weeks, the only team that Mattness has not beaten this season is Paddock 9.
* Sweet Dee posted the 4th-lowest postseason score of all time (playoffs and consolation combined).

## Narrowest Playoff Margin of Victory

Mattness has been Indiana Jonesing for weeks now, sliding beneath the door to advance. As Mattness himself, I knew it felt close, but I didn't realize just how close until I calculated every margin of victory in LOC playoff history (not including consolation games).

A complete chart will be available by next week, but it will take a bit to import. In case you were wondering, The Stupid Idiots is one of nine teams to have beaten their opponent by over 100 points in the playoffs. They are one of only three to beat a team by over 150.

## 300 Then...300 Now

At one point this week, The Stupid Idiots had a projection over 400 points. It was an insane day that was only impeded when Tyreek Hill put up a dud, which Idiots is probably fine with since it means he'll go off this weekend in the Glory Bowl.

The only performance that was nearly as dominant was momma's Glory Bowl II game, when he won the trophy by beating Commish to an absolute pulp.

I thought it would be a lot of fun to compare the starting rosters for those two teams, one from last week and one from last decade.

Both QBs put up over 70 points. Dez Bryant went for 66 for momma, who got another 54 from his Chicago Defense. A better defense, Los Angeles Rams, was on the bench with 60 points. Marshawn Lynch led the way at RB with 35.78 points. While Tyreek was the one week link for Stupid Idiots, Mike Wallace's 2.18 performance was the lone sore spot for momma.

For Idiots, Tee Higgins scored 54.80, Chubb scored 45.10, and Justin Jackson scored 44.05. It was a perfect storm of matchups and COVID. What was most impressive was that Idiots had Evans, Cooks, and Hunt on IR. Idiots could have broken the record if he had started Rashad Penny (31.93) over Tyreek Hill (4.30). Who knew?

## 300-Point Playoff Performances

As you can see above, there are two teams that scored 300+ in the playoffs and did not win the Glory Bowl.

## Who Will be THE GUY?

Every year there is that one guy (or girl, don't assume gender) who goes nuts during the playoffs. One reason to assume that The Stupid Idiots will be this year's champion is that his team has balled out for two straight weeks, while Mattness had one lackluster day in which none of his players really emerged as a potential GUY.

## Trade Tracker

Starts (Paddock 9):

* Kirk: 6
* Reagor: 0

Starts (RIPDab)

* Hopkins: 6
* Williams: 1

Just need to keep this tracker up long enough for Paddock 9 to get more usage out of this trade than RIPDab.

Starts (ma ma momma said):

* Dallas Goedert: 6

Starts (Multiverse of Mattness):

* J.D. McKissic: 3

Starts (Papa's Posse):

* Darrell Mooney: 5
* Zach Ertz: 3

Starts (Multiverse of Mattness):

* Aaron Rodgers: 5
* Noah Fant: 5

Good trade, me. Good, fair trade. Don't let the haters tell you otherwise.

## Championship Wins/Appearances Droughts

Behold: the saddest chart in the LOC universe. For three teams, it has been over 3,780 days without a championship.

## Playoff Game Victory Droughts

### Playoff game victory droughts

Updated through 2021 semifinals

Sortable table, click on header arrows.

## Power Rankings - Week Fifteen

* APT: **RECORD AGAINST PLAYOFF TEAMS**

* L3: **RECORD OVER LAST THREE GAMES**

### 1(4). The Stupid Idiots (10-6)

* APT: 7-5
* L3: 2-1

There is evidence to suggest that TSI's massive performance may be the very thing that costs him a Glory Bowl. In 2017, Pain Train dropped 359.58 in the quarterfinals. In the following week, Pain Train scored a measely 200.10 in a semifinals loss to eventual runner-up RIPDab. That's a decrease of 159.48 points, a massive 44% drop. Last year, Duck Punchers produced 310.86 points in the semifinals before experiencing a 37% drop in production in the Glory Bowl and losing to Paddock 9. On the other hand, there's also evidence to suggest that his score was SO high that even a massive drop would be enough for victory. A 37% drop would be a decent 230.41 points, which is still above Commish's projection.

### 2(3). The Multiverse of Mattness (11-5)

* APT: 6-4
* L3: 3-0

This team really doesn't have an identity. They have cycled players throughout the playoffs and will be swapping more guys out this week. After having a shortage of WRs two weeks ago, they now are overloaded at the position and weak at RB.

### 3(2). Duck Punchers (9-6)

* APT: 4-5
* L3: 1-2

The team stepped up big, as it usually does for Duck in the semifinals. But the men fell just short. It is another disappointing finish for a team that has been a massive force in the league over the last three seasons, but has nothing really to show for it.

### 4(1). Ma ma momma said (9-6)

* APT: 4-4
* L3: 1-2

Not much anybody could have done.

### 5(7). Pain Train (7-8)

* L3: 3-0

Pain Train is one of the hottest teams in the league, which of course no one is talking about because their four-game losing streak from weeks 9-12 knocked them out of the conversation. They were one of three teams to break 240 this week, the other two are in the Glory Bowl.

### 6(4). RIPDab (9-7)

* APT: 6-2
* L3: 2-1

A little bit of positive momentum for next year, which may or may not be a Nate Year, we'll have to wait and see.

### 7(6). The Shotti Bunch (7-9)

* APT: 1-8
* L3: 0-3

Losing to Nate in the playoffs is the true sign that this season wasn't right for Shotti. They finish the year with three losses, having scored under 190 in 7 of their last 10 games.

### 8(8). Papa's Posse (7-8)

* L3: 1-2

Anyone who showed up could have beaten Sweet Dee, but the victory may have been enough to fuel Papa's passion for another season and that's good enough for me.

### 9(9). Paddock 9 (3-12)

* L3: 1-2

He will have one more chance to retain his title as the only person to win a postseason game every year in LOC history. He'll have to do it against Sweet Dee, who happens to be the last team he beat this year.

### 10(10). Sweet Dee (5-10)

* L3: 0-3

It would be pretty poetic if Dee showed up just long enough to beat paddock 9 and take his record after not caring about LOC for the last two months.

## Introduction to the Glory Bowl

The Glory Bowl is an annual fantasy football game that determines the champion of the League of Champions (LoC). The game culminates a season that runs from week 1-13 and is the conclusion of the three-week Festival of Champions.

Before the 2017 Championship Name Naming Tournament, the final two teams met in a contest known as the LoC Championship Game. Glory Bowl VII in December 2017 is the first such game that carried the "Glory Bowl" moniker, the names "Glory Bowl I" through "Glory Bowl VI" were retroactively applied to the first six games. Six different franchises, including teams that have since changed names, have won the Super Bowl.

The Shotti Bunch (4-0) has won the most Glory Bowls with four championships, while Paddock 9 (2-0) has won two. The Shotti Bunch has the most Glory Bowl appearances with four, followed by Duck Punchers, ma ma momma said and Pain Train with three each. The Shotti Bunch has the most consecuive appearances (3). Ma ma momma said, Paddock 9, and Pain Train each have played in consecutive Glory Bowls. Pain Train holds the record for most Glory Bowl losses (3). The record for consecutive wins is three and is held by The Shotti Bunch. Two teams have multiple Glory Bowl appearances and no losses: The Shotti Bunch and Paddock 9.

## Glory Bowl Championship (2011-Present)

\*Then named NK Anacondas

\*\*Currently Named Duck Punchers

^Then named Welker's Fingertips

^^Then named Cooper Clux Clan

### Consecutive Winners

Two different franchises have won consecutive Glory Bowls

* The Shotti Bunch (Glory Bowls V, VI, and VII)
* Paddock 9 (Glory Bowls IX and X)

## The Multiverse of Mattness vs. The Stupid Idiots

Tied at 4 games a piece, this showdown should deliver.

With no Thursday game, the bulk of the action will take place at 1pm on Sunday. Mattness will have his entire team going during the day, with the exception of Jefferson and Rodgers Sunday night. The thing about that is, those are his two best players. So Idiots should have the lead heading into that game. Mattness, if they want any chance at victory, will have to re-claim and then build a lead Sunday night. On Monday, Idiots finishes off the 2021 LOC season with keeper Nick Chubb against the Steelers poor run defense. Chubb is coming off a 45+ point game and has three such games this year, including a 50 pointer. However, his last game against Pittsburgh he only had 14 points. For Mattness to feel safe, he'll need a 60-point lead. To feel comfortable, probably 40. Anything less and Nick is well within striking distance. If Mattness holds on to a lead as slim as 20 or less, it's Nick's championship to lose.

## The Salty Dolphin Bowl (2011-Present)

\*Currently named RIPDab

\*\*Currently named Duck Punchers

### Consecutive Winners

One franchise has won consecutive Salty Dolphins.

* RIPDab (2015 Salty Dolphin Bowl and 2016 Salty Dolphin BowlI)

## The Heart and Soul Bowl (2011-Present)

\*Currently named PainTrain

\*\*Currently named Papa's Posse

^ Currently named Paddock 9

^^ Currently named Sweet Dee

~ Currently named Multiverse of Mattness

### Heart and Soul Bowl Appearances by Team

This will be the record-setting fourth appearance for both Pain Train and Papa in the Heart and Soul Bowl, but the first time that they will be facing off against one another.

## In Conclusion

I could go on, but I think I've said enough. We have some great matchups to finish off the season, and a new champion will be crowned, which is always fun. Good luck everyone and most importantly remember I dedicated my performance to John Madden and Nick didn't.