Ray: Mad City

## I Always Survive - Chapter 1

A fat blond man stands on the sidewalk. He stares at the middle of the road. A cookie sits on one of the street's yellow lines. To the man’s left is a truck. The truck’s engine rumbles.

Ray: It’s just me and you.

The engine rumbles again.

Ray: Just you and me-

Ray runs into the middle of the road and the truck starts moving forward. Ray runs at the cookie, determination is in his eyes. The truck closes in on him. Then Ray rolls on the ground, picking up the cookie. The truck just misses him as Ray rolls onto the other side of the sidewalk. Ray is laying on his back with the cookie in his hand. He looks back at the road, his head upside down. He sees the truck drive away.

Ray: That’s right. I win. The cookie is mine. Ten minute rule.

Ray swallows the cookie in one bite.

Ray: I achieved victory, and the truck lost like the loser it is.

Ray sees a nut on the ground.

Ray: Ooo, nuts.

Ray grabs the nut and before his hand can come off the ground he sees a flying squirrel soar through the air.

Ray: What the?!

The squirrel kicks Ray in the forehead. Ray falls over, dropping the nut. Ray looks up at the squirrel. The squirrel shoves the nut in its mouth and flips Ray off with its tiny fingers.

Ray: That’s it. This is fucking war!

The squirrel runs off and Ray starts chasing it down. The squirrel and Ray are evenly matched. Neither can outrun the other. The squirrel runs up a tree. Once it gets halfway up, Ray grabs it off the tree.

Ray: You tiny fingered bastard!

The squirrel spits a nut out at Ray. The nut hits Ray in the nose. Ray’s grip on the squirrel loosens. The squirrel jumps out of Ray’s hand and runs up the tree.

Ray: I can climb trees too!

Ray tries to scale the tree. He makes it up one branch and the branch breaks. Ray hits the ground on his butt.

Ray: New course of action!

Ray runs over to a bush.

Ray: Secret bush of magic, what will you give me?

Ray pulls a chainsaw out of the bush.

Ray: That squirrel is done for!

Ray runs back over to the tree. He pulls the cord on the chainsaw and the blade starts moving. Everyone in the area can hear the chainsaw. Ray using the chainsaw to cut down the tree. The blades grind against the tree and wood chips fly through the air.

Ray: There is no holding back in war!

Ray’s chainsaw cuts through the tree. As the tree starts falling, Ray stands there looking proud of himself. He realizes the tree is falling towards him.

Ray: No!

Ray gets hit in the head with a football. He falls to the left. The tree misses him. Ray gets back up.

Ray: Where did that football come from?! I still have a chainsaw!

Ray pulls the cord on the chainsaw to start it back up. He starts running around looking for people playing football. He runs into a construction area.

Ray: Anyone see people playing football?!

Worker: What?!

Ray turns off the chainsaw.

Ray: Did you see any anarchists playing football.

Worker: Nope. Nobody around here played football.

Ray: Hmm.

A crane starts carrying around a shipping container.

Ray looks suspicious.

Ray: I guess I’ll just leave then.

One of the pulleys carrying the shipping container breaks. The container falls through the air and lands on Ray. Ther worker sees Ray walk out from the container.

Worker: How?!

Ray: There’s a hole.

Ray leaves the construction area.

Ray: They definitely play football. They tried to kill me because they knew I was going to find out. I’ll go to sleep and set up traps tomorrow morning for them!

As Ray walks home he realizes it pitch black out. He walks up to his front door and looks up at the full moon.

Ray: Ah, it’s that time of month again. The green moon.

A giant wave of green energy washes over the sky. The moon turns green as the wave passes over.

Ray: It’s beautiful.

Ray puts his key in the door.

Ray: Today was a dangerous day, but I survived. I always survive.

A white lightning bolt soars down from the sky. It strikes Ray, frying him. Ray drops to the ground.

## The King Of Condiments - Chapter 2

Ray wakes up in the hospital. He looks down at his body.

Ray: I’m skinny!

Ray lifts up his collar.

Ray: And I have abs!

Ray sees an IV in his arm.

Ray: No! What are they doing to me? They must be experimenting!

Ray rips out his IV.

Ray: OW! That hurts so much. Movies lie! Why do movies lie?!

Ray looks at the heart monitor. The monitor is flatlining.

Ray: I’m dead!

His heartbeat appears on the monitor again.

Ray: Oh, I’m fine.

Ray takes out all the cords hooked up to him and looks around the room for clothes.

Ray: I can’t be wearing a hospital gown. I need to be stylish. I got swag that needs to be shown!

Ray sees clothes on a chair. Ray undresses and the door opens. A nurse walks in.

Ray: Hi, how are you doing?

Nurse: Sorry.

She closes the door.

Ray: Bothering me for no reason.

Ray picks up his pants.

Ray: These clothes no longer fit, but that’s okay. They still have the necessary style.

Ray hears a knock on the door.

Ray: Come in.

The nurse from before opens the door and looks frustrated.

Nurse: You're still naked!

Ray: I show this glorious thing off.

Ray puts on his pants.

Nurse: The doctors are going to keep you here for another day.

Ray puts on his shirt.

Ray: What?!

Nurse: They just want to make sure you’re alright.

Ray: I have rights!

Ray runs to the window and jumps out. He smashes through the glass and falls two stories and hits the ground. The nurse runs to the window. She watches Ray get up.

Nurse: Are you okay?

Ray starts limping away.

Ray: I am free! I have escaped the clutches of the tyrannical government.

Ray walks two more feet.

Ray: I’m hungry. it’s time for a hot dog.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray limps over to town square. He sees people everywhere. Ray walks up to a hot dog stand. A man is standing behind the stand.

Ray: I need a hot dog.

Worker: What, you think you're better than me?

Ray: Yes, and give me a hot dog.

Worker: No!

Ray: How much is it?

Worker: I’ll cut you a deal. You get a hot dog for fifteen bucks.

Ray: What’s the deal?

Worker: That is the deal.

Ray: 15 bucks for a hot dog!

Worker: I need compensation for my troubles. You were rude.

Ray: Fine. Just give me a hot dog.

Worker: That’s because it’s a good deal. Alright. Ketchup or mustard.

Ray hears someone’s screechy voice behind him.

???: Did someone say ketchup?!

Ray turns around. He sees a tan man in a black tracksuit. The suit has yellow and red highlights. The top of his medium length wavy hair is red. The sides of his hair are yellow with the strap from his goggles pushing his yellow hair down.

???: I am the master of liquids. Shaman of sauces. I am the Condiment King!

Ray: What?

Condiment King: I am the one and only.

Ray: What do you do-

The Condiment King takes out a bottle of ketchup and sprays ketchup at him.

Ray: It burns! It’s in my eyes!

Condiment King: Another man, defeated.

Ray wipes the ketchup out of his eyes.

Ray: I’m gonna kill you!

Condiment King: You’re not dead?!

Ray: It’s sauce!

Condiment King: Then take more sauce! Ha Ha ha!

Condiment King starts spraying Ray with ketchup and mustard. Ray blocks his face with his hand.

Ray: There is only one thing that can beat your sauces Condiment King.

Condiment King stops spraying condiments at Ray.

Condiment King: No.

Ray: Yes. The most overpowering best sauce there is.

Condiment King: You have it?

Ray: No.

Condiment King: Oh… well then you’re dead.

Condiment King gets ready to shoot more ketchup at Ray.

Ray starts running away. He can hear the squishing of ketchup boots behind him.

Condiment King: You can’t escape me!

Ray: Yes I can. You're slow. Mentally and physically.

Ray keeps running. He starts to see everything around him slow down.

Ray: I always knew I was fast, but damn I impress myself.

Ray runs inside a supermarket. He stops running and slides on the ground.

Ray: Where are the sauces?

Ray walks into an aisle. Condiment King runs into the supermarket.

Condiment King: Where is he?!

Condiment King runs around. He slides into an aisle and sees Ray. Ray gasps.

Ray: You found me.

Condiment King: Yes I did. Now die to my incredible flavors!

Ray: Shield!

Condiment King fires ketchup and mustard at Ray. Ray picks up a pizza and blocks the condiments.

Ray: How dare you?! Ketchup and mustard on pizza is disgusting and you should die for what you have done!

Ray throws the pizza at Condiment King like a frisbee. It hits Condiment King in his dome. Ray runs to the next aisle. His eyes dart around and then stop.

Ray: That’s it.

Ray takes a bottle of barbecue sauce off the shelf. Condiment King runs into the aisle.

Ray: I now have the one thing that can defeat you.

Condiment King: No.

Ray: Say you’re goodbyes you sucky condiment having mother fucker.

Ray runs at Condiment King as he fires Barbecue sauce at him. Condiment King gets covered in barbecue sauce. He kicks some of the barbecue sauce.

Condiment King: Ahhh, it’s so overpowering!

Condiment King runs away.

Ray: Fatality! Victory goes to the winner.

## Bop it - Chapter 3

Ray walks back to his house.

Ray: Damn, long day. I had to fight a guy trying to spray me with… Was he gay?!

Ray opens his door and walks inside and up the stairs. He opens the door to his room and jumps on his bed.

Ray: Yes! Never again will I sleep in a hospital bed!

Ray lays down on the bed.

Ray: Night time.

Ray instantly passes out. Noises can be heard from under his bed and from the closet. A hand comes out from under the bed. The hand touches the bed like it’s looking for something. The door knob on the closet door starts to shake like someone is trying to open it. The door knob gets louder and louder. The hand on the bed moves to the dresser. It opens one of the draws and takes out a bop it toy. The toy is quickly pulled under the bed. Something crawls out from under the bed.

???: Open the door.

The creature has a raspy snake-like voice.

The closet door opens and the creature crawls inside. The door slams shut and Ray wakes up. Ray looks at his open dresser.

Ray: No… Someone stole my bop it!

Ray lays down in bed with a look of sadness and horror.

Ray: I need to find it.

Ray gets up out of bed and leaves the room.

Ray: I will find the thief.

Ray runs out of his room in the dead of night. He runs down the street, flailing his arms. A police station comes into sight. Ray gets an idea. He walks inside the police station and steps up to the front desk. The cop at the front desk sees Ray flailing his arms.

Ray: I would like to report theft!

Cop: What did the person steal?

Ray: Not out here. Someone could hear us.

Cop: This is a police station.

Ray: Even more untrustworthy then.

The cop leads Ray into a room. The cop sits down at his desk and Ray takes a seat as well.

Cop: What did the thief steal?

Ray: Hold onto your chair for this one.

Cop: Just hit me with it.

Ray: A bop it.

Cop: What?

Ray: They stole a bop it toy. It’s precious to me.

Cop: Sir, are you joking?

Ray: I most certainly am not!

Cop: Are you sure you didn’t just misplace the toy?

Ray: Misplace the toy-

Ray pretends to spit.

Ray: You disgust me. I put it in the same place every day. I check it everytime I wake up. It doesn’t move from it’s spot.

Cop: Sir, can’t you just buy another bop it?

Ray: No.

Cop: There are millions of toys out there-

Ray: I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation. I was robbed!

Cop: We’ll send someone to find it.

Ray: What else does my tax money pay you for?

Cop: Bigger cases.

Ray: Fair point. I don’t even pay taxes.

Cop: That’s tax fraud.

Ray:... Well you better get on that case.

Ray runs out of the police station.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray is running around town again. He tries to look for shady people on the street, but the streets are empty. Then Ray stumbles onto a building. Light is coming off of the building. As he gets close he can start to hear music. Ray walks up to the bar and steps inside. He sees people dancing and drinking.

Ray: None of these people can be trusted.

Ray sits at the bar, looking around at everyone. A man sits down next to Ray.

Ray: Have you ever stolen something before?

Man: What?

Ray: Answer my question!

Man: I guess.

Ray: Guilty! You stole my bop it!

Man: What are you talking about?!

Ray: The evidence does not lie. I’m bringing you to court!

Man: How?

Ray dials 911.

Ray: I found him! Bring him to jail!

Man: What’s wrong with you? Are you insane? Why do you care about a bop it?!

Ray: That’s none of your business. Now give the bop it back!

Man: I don’t have it!

Ray can hear sirens.

Ray: This is it for you buddy. Your parade of evilness will be no more!

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Later that day, Ray is in court with the man trying to get him prosecuted. The judge walks in the room. Everyone watches him sit down.

Judge: Alright. I expect this case to be over within the first hour or two. Maybe less. That’s the only reason I allowed this case to be brought to court so quickly. Mr.Ryet, state your case.

Ray: That man over there.

Ray points at him.

Ray: Most definitely stole my bop it.

Judge: And the defense. Mr.Smith.

Mr.Smith: I didn’t steal his bop it, nor is there evidence to suggest that I stole it.

Judge: Hmm, okay. Mr.Ryet, what evidence do you have to bring forward.

Ray: Sir Judge Sir, when I asked Mr.Smith whether or not he has stolen something before, he said yes!

Everyone gasps, including the judge.

Judge: Is this true Mr.Smith?!

Mr.Smith: Well, yes-

The crowd gasps again. The judge looks more horrified than anyone else.

Mr.Smith: But-

Judge: No! It’s time for the jury to decide what to do with you.

The jury get up and walks into the door. As soon as the last one walks in the door, they all walk back into the stands.

Judge: Great! What have you decided?

Jury: We decided that he isn’t-

The judge starts slamming his gavel down.

Judge: Overruled. Guilty, Guilty, Guilty! Life in prison!

Mr.Smith: With what charge?!

Judge: Stealing a priceless artifact of course.

Mr.Smith: What?!

Judge: I’ll work out the details later. Now get out of my courtroom!

Mr.Smith: This isn’t fair!

The judge starts throwing gavels at Mr.Smith.

Ray: Can I get money from him to pay for my lawyer?

Judge: You don’t have a lawyer.

Ray: So?

Judge: Eh, sure. Why not?

The judge looks back at Mr.Smith.

Judge: Don’t think I have forgotten about you.

The judge throws more gavels at him and the guards take him away.

Judge: Mr.Ryet, you too! Get out of my courtroom!

The judge starts throwing gavels at Ray. Ray runs out of the courtroom.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray walks back into his house, late at night. He feels much better than before now that justice has been served. Ray sits on his bed.

Ray: I just wish I got my bop it back.

Ray turns over in bed. He starts to hear a noise and looks over at the floor. He sees the monster climbing out from under his bed and crawling to the closet.

Ray: The monster under my bed!

The closet door opens.

Ray: And the monster in my closet! You’ve been conspiring against me!

The monster under his bed hides in the closet. They shut the door. Soon Ray hears “Bop it, Twist it, Pull it.”

Ray: It was you this whole time!

Ray karate chops his closet door and breaks it open.

Ray: Gimme that!

Ray grabs the bop it out of the monster in the closet’s hand. He opens up the back of the bop it and takes out a key.

Ray: You can have the bop it. Just don’t be too loud or else you can’t hang out anymore!

Ray lays back in bed.

Ray: I guess that Smith guy didn’t do it. Oh well.

## I’M BATMAN - Chapter 4

Ray walks around his house.

Ray: Borden. Sadness.

Ray looks at the table as he is pouring his cereal into a bowl. He sees the key on the table and he gets an idea.

Ray: That’s what I’m doing for the day!

Ray lifts up his bowl and pours the cereal into his mouth. He chews once with a loud crunch and swallows the bowl of cereal. Ray grabs the key and walks out to his backyard. He sees the basement door with a lock on it. The basement door is made of pure iron. Ray puts the key into the lock and turns the key. The lock clicks and Ray opens the door. Ray walks down the short steps. He looks a little tired. His eyes look around the room. He sees a bunch of superhero suits.

Ray: My collection. My beautiful collection.

Ray walks over to the Batman suit.

Ray: Today, I’m gonna help people!

Ray puts on the Batman suit. He runs out of the basement looking determined. He starts running through the street with the Batman suit on. People start staring at him. Ray runs up to a man.

Ray: Do you need help sir?

Man: Not from a psycho like you.

Ray: Was that a threat?!

Ray punches the man in the face. The man hits the ground. Ray takes out handcuffs and locks them onto the man’s wrists.

Ray: Problem solved. Aggression calmed.

Man: If anything I’m more angry! Let me go!

Ray punches the man in the head again.

Ray: Problem solved!

Ray runs away. Then Ray finds himself in Central Park. He sees a man stealing candy from a baby. He walks up to the man. The thief has a trash bag full of half eaten candy.

Ray: You there! What are you doing?

Thief: Making bank. Want some?

Ray: I guess it’s fine because you included me.

The thief gives Ray a pop.

Ray: Carry on with your business. If the cops try to stop you. Tell them you know Batman.

Ray runs away flailing his arms. The thief keeps stealing from kids. Then he turns around and sees a cop.

Thief: Hi.

The cop sighs and cuffs him.

Thief: Don’t do this! I know Batman!

Cop: No wonder. Only a psycho would steal candy from a baby.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray runs down the street. More people are looking at him than before. Ray hears a struggle. He turns down an alley. Ray sees an old woman and a thief having a tug of war over the old lady’s purse.

Old woman: Gimme my purse sonny or I’ll have to get serious.

Thief: Why are you so strong?!

Ray jumps out from the corner.

Old woman: Ah, Batman!

The old woman punches the thief and runs away with her purse. The theif falls onto the ground.

Ray: I have saved the day. No need to thank me. That’s just what heroes do.

The thief gets up from the ground.

Thief: You didn’t do anything. Why are you even posing as Batman?

Ray: Posing. I am Batman. My uncle got shot by a thief. Then I got stuck on an island for 5 years where I learned how to use a bow. When I came back with robot parts from my accident I decided to take down theifs like the one that killed my uncle.

Thief: That is not Batman’s story.

Ray: Are you sure?

Thief: Yes.

Ray: Good thing Batman has super speed.

Thief: No he-

Ray runs up to the thief and knocks him out. Ray runs down to the opening of the alleyway. He sees a kid on a bicicyle. He pushes the kid over and steals his bike. Ray rides the bike away while the kid starts crying.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray parks his new bike out in his backyard. He goes back down into his basement.

Ray: I need a new suit. One with a backstory that I remember.

Ray looks at Spider-Man’s suit.

Ray: Now that’s a suit.

Ray grabs web shooters off of his desk and puts on the suit. He leaves the backyard

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray swings into action. He swings between buildings using the web shooters.

Ray: Yeah, I knew Batman didn’t fit. Spider-Man’s a great choice though. I’m definitely more of a Spider-Man.

Ray continues swinging through the city. He sees a man on the top of a building. The man is talking to two people with an ice cream in his hand. The two men grab the ice cream and stick it on the man’s forehead. Ray gasps and lands on the building.

Ray: Get out of here innocent bystanders!

Ray grabs the two men and throws them off the building. Ray looks at the man with a ice cream cone on his head.

Ray: Rhino, my old villain.

Man: What?

Ray: You thought you could fool me with your weak, scrawny, small, pale looking body, but I figured out the trick.

Man: You're not Spider-Man and I’m not rhino.

Ray: If I’m not Spider-Man than how do I know my backstory? My parents were shot down in an alley. My home planet, krypton, exploded and killed everyone including my parents. In my spaceship chemicals were dropped and I got zapped by a lightning bolt that gave me super speed. That was the day I decided to stop criminals like the ones that shot down my parents.

Man: You mixed Batman, Superman, and flashes backstories up together. It didn’t even make sense!

Ray: Don’t try to trick me Rhino!

Ray shoots webs at the man until he is completely covered in webs. Then Ray swings the man around while he is in the cocoon. Ray throws the cocooned man off the building and then dusts off his hands.

Ray: Whew, a day of hard work complete.

## FishBoy - Chapter 5

Ray locks up the basement. He looks at the sky for a minute.

Ray: That basement is too powerful for any one man. Except me of course.

Ray looks back up at the sky and wipes the sweat off his forehead. The hot sun beats down on Ray.

Ray: It’s beach day!

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray walks on the hot sand.

Ray: My feet are burning!

Ray runs around on the sand. Then he stops running and accepts the pain once he gets tired. Ray looks at the ocean.

Ray: Swimming time!

Ray runs into the water. The water splashes up as he runs. Ray gets low in the water.

Ray: My feet feel so much better. Thank god for the ocean.

Ray looks down at the blue. He sees a fish.

Ray: My old enemy. Fishboy! You have returned!

Ray tries to grab the fish out of the water. The fish swims away, and Ray watches the fish go deep down into the water.

Ray: You’re up to your old tricks again I see. I know where you live! You think you’re better than me just because you live in Atlantis?! That’s it! Today, I’m making it to Atlantis!

Ray sees a child in the water with a snorkeler. Ray walks up to the child and takes his snorkeler.

Ray: You don’t know it was me.

Ray runs away. He runs out of the water and onto the beach. In ten minutes Ray comes back with supplies.

Ray: I need help! Does anyone want to make history?!

A man with green eyes walks up to Ray.

Man: Did you steal my sons snor-

Ray: Great. I knew someone would want to help. Alright, take these straws and tape them together.

Man: What?

Ray: We’re about to make history. A few hours later, Ray has taped the straws to his snorkeler.

Ray: I thank you random man. Now I can go to Atlantis.

Ray walks into the ocean. A long line of straws follows him. Ray slowly walks into the ocean. Then he starts swimming down.

Ray: This works way better than I thought it would!

Ray keeps swimming down. Another hour later, Ray is tired, but he makes it to the bottom of the ocean.

Ray: Fishboy, I’m coming with you!

Ray starts coughing. Water starts coming through the straw.

Ray: oh no. The plan has been foiled!

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

The man at the beach is getting ready to leave.

Man: I’m sorry we couldn’t get your snorkeler back. When someone is so disabled like that. It’s just better to let them do their own thing.

The man sees the straw has gone under the water. He runs over and tapes a few more straws to it.

Man: Thank god I didn’t leave. He would have died.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray repeatedly sucks the water out of the straw and spits it back into the ocean. As he starts to lose consciousness, air starts flowing through the straw again.

Ray: I’m saved. The straw should have been long enough though. Well, that’s what happens when you don’t do any math. It’s worth it for not having to do the math.

Ray walks along the bottom of the sea. For hours he drifts aimlessly. Then, he stumbles upon a giant area. Ray gets excited. He runs closer and closer. He realizes that he found Atlantis. He looks around for a place where Ray can breathe air. Ray walks up to the palace. Everyone stares at him. They look at the giant line of straws going above his head. Royal guards stop him.

Guard: Why are you here?

Ray: I need to ask the King if fishboy is here.

Guard: Who is this fishboy?

Ray: He’s like half fish, half man. No offense.

Guard: None taken. Alright. Go in.

Ray walks inside the palace. The palace has no water in it. There is some sort of barrier at the palace gate that blocks water from entering. A man with long blond hair sits on the throne. His blond hair matches his blond beard. They almost look to be one in the same.

Ray: What’s your name?

???: I am King Nerotheos. How dare you speak to me in such a tone?!

Ray: I speak to everyone like that. It’s only fair.

Nerotheos: Then change your custom or I will not speak to you.

Ray speaks with a lazy tone.

Ray: Oh, great King, I need your royal help.

Nerotheos: Why do you need my help, and how did you get to Atlantis?

Ray: That’s easy. I attached straws to a snorkeler and swam down here.

Nerotheos: You swam here?

Ray: Yeah. Also, I’m here to take down fishboy.

Nerotheos: Who is this fishboy? What did he do?

Ray: His actions are too unspeakable to mention. He looks like half human, half blue fish.

Nerotheos: A bluefish.

Ray: No, not a bluefish. He has blue skin, and blue scales.

Nerotheos: I’ll send two guards after him. He will be brought back here.

Nerotheos moves his hand, signaling the guards. Two guards leave the palace. In ten minutes the two guards return with fishboy. Fishboy looks just like Ray said. He looks human, but with blue skin and a few other fishy parts to him.

Fishboy: Why am I here?!

Ray: You know why!

Fishboy: Who are you?!

Ray: Remember. You sent crabs after me when I was swimming.

Fishboy: I have no idea what you’re talking about!

The guards drag fishboy away. Ray turns to Nerotheos.

Ray: He doesn’t remember because I was fast back then.

Nerotheos: What will you do now surface dweller Ray?

Ray: Swim back to the surface.

Nerotheos: Without your straws?

Ray: I’ll just have to swim fast.

Nerotheos: This is the deepest part of the Atlantic.

Ray: It’ll be fine.

Ray stands at the front of the palace door.

Ray: Ever since I got hit with that lightning bolt I have been able to use super speed. Let’s see how well it works.

Ray opens the door and then counts down. As soon as he says one. Ray swims at supersonic speeds. He moves through the water so fast that it looks like he’s a torpedo. He pops up at the surface in no time.

Ray: 5 seconds.

Ray looks around.

Ray: Now where is the beach?

## MoleTerra - Chapter 6

Ray walks around town.

Ray: I am so bored today! There is nothing to do.

Ray walks down the street. A man walks up behind him.

Shady Man: Get in the alley.

Ray walks into the alleyway. The shady man points a gun at Ray.

Shady Man: Gimme your wallet.

Ray: Why don’t you give me your wallet?!

Shady Man: Hm… alright. I’ll rob myself.

The shady man puts a gun to his head. He hands Ray his wallet.

Shady Man: You can go. I’ll call the cops.

Ray starts to walk away.

Ray: Hey, by any chance do you have something I could do?

Shady Man: sure. Go into the broken down house a little down the street.

Ray: Thanks man.

Shady Man: No problem.

Ray walks away.

Shady Man: I’ll give it a few minutes before I call the cops.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray walks a little down the street. He sees the broken down house. He opens the creaky door and walks inside. Every footstep sounds like it might break the wood. He sees a metal chair.

Ray: Metal chains aren’t comfortable! What a useless invention! That thief lied.

Ray was about to leave and tell the thief about himself. Then he decided to sit in the chair, just to make sure it wasn’t comfortable.

Ray: No, I was right. It’s terrible. Ooo, a button.

Ray feels a button on the chair. He presses the button and straps come around Ray and hold him down. The chair starts falling down at incredible speeds. The chair falls for what feels like ever. Then Ray sees light below him.

Ray: Oh no, I’m gonna die!

The chair falls through the hole and then a parachute on the chair ejects. Ray looks around and sees a place that looks like the surface. There is grass on the ground. The chair softly lands on the grass and Ray gets up.

Ray: Where even is this? I’m still mad at the metal chair!

Ray sees a man walk around. He sees some small purple man walking around.

Ray: Hey!

The man turns around.

???: What?!

The man turns around. Ray realizes it’s no man, it’s a mole.

Ray: Moley! What is this place?

Moley: My name isn’t Moley.

Ray: Yes it is. Answer my question.

Moley: This is Mole land. Us Moles live here. You stupid surface dwellers were hogging up all the land.

Ray: So what did you do?

Moley: Dig out this entire place. Now we live here.

Ray: I underestimated you moles. You're not actually useless.

Moley: Useless!

Ray: No. I said not actually useless. Keep up! You’re blind not deaf. Lead me around Moley. I would like to experience Molesville.

Moley leads Ray around.

Ray: What do you do for fun here?

Moley: There is only one thing we do.

Ray: Which is?

Moley: Battle with slugs.

Ray: What?

Moley: You’ve never done it?

Ray: What?! No, obviously not. How do you battle with slugs?

Moley takes out a gun and points it at Ray.

Moley: Haha, Moley has tricked you! I am a well experienced slug fighter! You cannot beat me. The great Moley!

Ray: So your name is Moley!

Moley: No, I was just referencing what you call me… When did you get my gun?

Ray is holding Moley’s gun.

Ray: This doesn’t look like any gun I have ever seen.

The gun has a blue cylinder. Ray looks at it and sees a white and blue slug waving at him.

Ray: Let's test it.

Ray shoots the gun at Moley. A slug comes out and transforms into a bigger creature. The slug shoots ice. Moley ducks and the ice misses him.

Ray: This is fucking awesome. Why don’t we have slugs on the surface?

Moley: Give me back my gun!

Ray: No! You said you were a slug fighting champion. I will take your place as slug champion. I shall be called Moley!

Moley: Why?!

Ray: Because I’m the champion. You will be my servant, called Moley.

Moley: We’re both called Moley?

Ray: Everyone shall be called Moley. Now lead me Moley.

Moley sadly leads Ray around. Ray stops many times from being tired of walking. Then, after hours, they find another mole. Moley gets excited again. Moley runs over to the other mole.

Ray: What are you doing Moley? Conspiring against me with Moley 2.

Moley 2 loads his gun with a slug.

Ray: You are going against me! How do I get more ammo?

Moley: Haha, you may have stolen my gun, but not my slugs.

Moley points to his belt. The belt has many canisters with slugs in them.

Moley: Now you will be destroyed!

Ray: Oh yeah?! Slugs, don’t you want a champion to lead you. Moley ran away when I didn’t even have ammo.

Two slugs get out of their cannisters. They unhook Moley’s belt and drag the belt over to Ray. Ray hooks it onto himself.

Ray: Take that Moley! That’s what you deserve!

Moley: No!

Moley 2: I’ll beat him.

Moley fires out a slug. The white and blue slug flies through the air. The slug becomes bigger. Ray grabs a random canister and fires it. A red slug comes out. The red slug becomes bigger and shoots a blast of fire. The fire knocks the white slug out of the air. Moley 2 dodges to the side before the red slug collides with him.

Moley 2: Did you teach him how to be a slug slinger?

Moley: No, he’s just grabbing random slugs.

Moley 2 fires off a buff slug. It has horns and arms. Ray shoots a green slug. The slug shoots gas at the buff slug and knocks it out of the air. Ray fires a buff slug. Moley 2 looks confused because it misses him. The slug punches Moley, knocking him out.

Ray: Now You’re the only one left Moley 2.

Moley 2 sighs.

Moley 2: You’re too powerful. I’ll have to use my ultimate slug.

Moley 2 takes out a red and orange slug. He fires off the slug. The slug becomes bigger and gains fire wings. The slug flies around Ray over and over again. Moley 2 puts another slug in his gun. The red slug goes away. Moley 2 fires out a buff slug. The slug knocks disoriented Ray out.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray wakes up in his bed.

Ray: Moley 2, no!

Ray: Oh, it was just another dream.

Ray looks at the TV. The TV says SlugTerra.

Ray: I need to stop watching TV when I go to bed.

## Hero Sight - Chapter 7

Ray walks inside the store. A worker walks up to him.

Worker: Are you looking for anything specific or just browsing?

Ray: I need one of those phone things.

Worker: Any specific brand that you like?

Ray: What’s that Adara Industries phone? The guy who runs the business is ugly and ugly people don’t lie so he must make a good phone.

Worker: Um, okay. We have a few different models of the Xphone.

Ray: I need the newest one.

Worker: What color? We have gold, silver-

Ray: Silver, obviously.

Worker: I’ll be right out with your phone.

Ray: if it’s anymore than a thousand dollars. I’m stealing it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray is running away from the store. He runs with super speed back home. He sits on his couch.

Ray: How do you set this stupid thing up? She didn’t have a chance to tell me when I ran away without paying.

Ray fiddles around with the phone and it turns on.

Ray: I’m a tech genius!

Ray sets up his phone. He finds the App Store and opens it up. Eventually he searches an app called Hero Sight. Ray opens up the app. The app is full of videos. Ray watches one. He sees a superhero take down a bad guy.

Ray: I knew it! Superheroes are trying to get famous and they didn’t tell me. I feel betrayed. I’m gonna make an account and show these motherfuckers who’s boss!

Ray finds a live stream of someone trying to take down a criminal.

Ray: But first, I need to take down some of the competition.

Ray runs out the door. He runs around while everything is in slow motion.

Ray: I’m really liking this whole super speed thing.

Ray runs to the superhero’s location. He sees the superhero about to take down a mugger. Ray runs in and grabs the mugger. He brings the mugger to the top of a building in a split second. Ray runs down to the superhero. The superhero is wearing some basic red and blue skin tight suit.

Ray: Problem solve, situation defused. Who are you?

???: I’m The SuperMan.

Ray: You rip off.

The SuperMan: No no, The SuperMan, not Superman.

Ray: I still think you ripped it off.

The SuperMan: But I didn’t.

Ray: You did!

The Mugger on the roof starts shooting them.

Ray: Why are you doing this, innocent man.

Mugger: I’m not getting caught!

Ray: You’re confused. Innocent men don’t get caught! I guess it’s time to go.

Ray runs away. Ten minutes later, he is sitting on a rooftop, looking at his phone.

Ray: I need to find another superhero.

Ray looks at a few more superheroes.

Ray: All of these guys are lame.

Ray stumbles upon someone who looks like Batman.

Ray: Perfect.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray runs into a dark alley. Everything is in slow motion. He sees the man with a dark costume on and is in the middle of throwing a punch. Ray sees the criminal looking scared.

Ray: Who does he think he is?

Ray pushes the man a little bit. Time speeds up and the man in the dark costume is pushed back with so much force he crashes into a wall.

Ray: Who are you?

???: Dark Knight.

Ray: Is it the same with all of you superheroes.

Dark Knight: What?

Ray: That was clearly one of Batman’s nicknames.

Dark Knight: He can’t have all the names.

Ray: He doesn’t, but he does have that one.

Dark knight: It’s my name!

Ray: No it isn’t.

Dark Knight: It is!

Ray: No!

Dark Knight: Do you even have a name? Why don’t you come up with a name before you talk about other people‘s names!

Ray: I have a name.

Dark knight: What?

Ray thinks about his white lightning that trails him whenever he runs fast.

Ray: White Wildebeest!

Dark Knight: That’s terrible!

Ray: It’s great!

Dark Knight: You’re the one that needs a new name.

Ray: I don’t think so, villain!

Ray runs up to Dark Knight and punches him in his face. Then Ray runs away. Ray slides into his house as time slows back down.

Ray: I’ll show all these people what’s what.

Ray makes an account for the app.

Ray: Now it’s time to make some videos.

Ray sets up a camera looking into an alley. A thug is pointing his gun at a man.

Thug: Gimme your wallet!

A flash of white light appears. Then the man has the gun and the thug has his pants pulled down.

Man: No, give me your wallet!

Ray keeps running around. He sees two huge buff guys. Ray sets up his camera and runs up to them.

Ray: You think you're tough because you’re big?

???: Nah, we think we’re tough because we just beat up a bunch of guys. Right lefty?

Lefty: Yeah!

???: My name's Righty.

Ray: You criminals-

Righty: Criminals? No, we’re vigilantes now. We were criminals 20 years ago. We’ve gone good.

Ray: You guys are alright. I think we won’t fight.

Righty: Good. Then we don’t have to destroy you.

Lefty: Yeah!

Ray runs away. Ray continues to run around the city.

Ray: I’m gonna become the greatest hero to ever exist!

## Cameron - Chapter 8

A boy is sitting at the dinner table doing homework. He looks about 16. He has medium wavy black hair. His mother is cooking dinner and his father is in the living room watching TV.

???: Mom, do you know how to do sine and cosines?

Mom: You know I’m not good with math. Ask your father. I have to finish dinner anyway Cameron.

Cameron: Dad!

Cameron’s dad sighs.

Dad: Gimme a minute.

The dad sits in his electric chair. He pushes the button for the chair to move up. He holds the button and waits for the chair to finish moving. Then the dad gets up and walks over to the table.

Cameron: That chair is so slow.

Dad: It’s my favorite thing in the house. Besides the TV.

Cameron: Do you know how to do sine and cosine and all that.

Dad: Put the thing in a calculator.

Cameron: How?

Dad: I don’t remember. Ask your mother.

Mom: Bill!

Dad: Huh, fine. I’ll look it up.

The dad sits down in one of the chairs at the table.

Dad: Don’t think I’m getting up from this seat for a while.

Bill looks up how to do the problem and shows his son.

Dad: See, it’s easy.

Cameron: Oh, alright.

Mom: Take your homework off the table. It’s time to eat.

Cameron moves his homework and school supplies off the table while his mother passes out plates. Once the mother is finished she sits at the table and everyone starts eating.

Mom: So, Cam, talking to any girls?

Cameron: No mom.

Dad: I told you he’s a nerd.

Mom: Bill!

Dad: He is. Just look at him. He needs to play some football.

Cameron: I don’t like football.

Dad: What? Everyone likes football.

Mom: Not our boy.

Dad: Is he a boy? I didn’t notice because he doesn’t like football!

Mom: You didn’t even like football when you were younger. You were a nerd and I still loved you.

Dad: No, I was a talented kid.

Cameron: Dad, you were a nerd?

Dad: Stop spreading lies Emma.

Some noise comes out of Bill's pocket. Bill lifts up his police radio.

Dad: There’s a robbery on the 45th.

Mom: I’m sorry Cameron but we have to go.

She kisses Cameron on the top of his head and they leave.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Cameron wakes up the next day. When he walks downstairs for food he hears a knock on the door. Cameron opens the door to see a police officer there.

Cop: I’m sorry Cameron, but your parents passed away last night.

Cameron: Wha-

Cop: They were shot down by the bank robbers. If you need anything at all. Any cop on the force is willing to help. Your parents were friends to all. I’m sorry.

The officer walks away and Cameron closes the door. Later that day, Cameron is laying on his bed. He looks like he wants to cry, but he just sits there. Cameron looks at his phone and sees he got a text. One of his friends asks where he is.

Cameron: I’m not going to school. Why does it even matter?

Cameron turns to the other side of his bed

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Cameron hears another knock on the door hours later. Cameron walks downstairs and opens up the door. His friend, Jay, walks through the door.

Jay: How could you miss the presentation? I had to do it by myself! My father’s going to yell at me because I messed the presentation up. He always goes on about how he didn’t go to college and that I need to be better and get a good job. He’s going to have another long conversation about responsibilities with me.

Something clicks in Cameron’s head. He thinks back about how his mother said his father used to be a nerd.

Cameron: My father wanted me to be better than he was.

Jay: Huh?

Cameron: I can’t mope around. My dad would never want me to do that. I’m gonna become a better cop than he could ever dream of! I’m going to make him proud.

Jay: Why are we talking about your dad?

Cameron: Thanks Jay.

Cameron runs out the door.

Jay: Cam?

Cameron runs down the street. A black aura glides across the sky. Then a black lightning bolt drops from the sky. The lightning collided with Cameron. The black light blind all that’s around it. Then the light fades to show Cameron locked out laying on the ground.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Cameron wakes up on the side of the street.

Cameron: It wasn’t even raining. Why would lightning strike out of nowhere? Especially not to strike me out of nowhere.

Cameron gets to his feet.

Cameron: Ah, my legs hurt-

Cameron falls over. As he is falling, time slows down and Cameron catches himself. Cameron lands on his feet.

Cameron: What?

Cameron starts running back home. He keeps speeding up until everything is in slow mode. There is a squirrel stuck in the middle of the air looking angry. He runs inside his house and tries to sit on his couch. His attempt to stop becomes a slide and he falls on top of his couch.

Cameron: Awesome. I have superpowers. I can be like all those heroes on Hero Sight.

Cameron looks at the app. He sees a bunch of heroes. Then one of them uses super speed.

Cameron: He’s like me.

Cameron taps on the video. He sees a place in the video.

Cameron: I know where that is. It’s time I meet White Wildebeest.

Cameron runs off. He sees a person with white lightning run past him. Cameron follows after him, but he can barely catch up. He watches the man run inside a house. Cameron runs inside the house. Then Cameron stops. He falls on the ground. Ray stares at him.

Ray: Are you trying to steal my shtick?! I have super speed, not you!

Cameron: I want to be your student. You’re so much faster than I am.

Ray: Alright. Let's test your skills. Build a table.

Cameron sees a table that looks like it’s about to collapse. The table looks like it was just put together. Cameron runs over to the box full of table parts. He builds the table and it looks perfect. Ray looks at it in disgust.

Ray: Look at it! It’s about to fall apart.

Ray takes a hammer and smashes the table to pieces.

Ray: See, it broke. You want to know what table isn’t broken. Mine.

Ray’s table collapses.

Ray: Still lasted longer.

Cameron: So, I didn’t do well?

Ray: No, but you’re hired.

Cameron: I can be your student?

Ray: As long as you promise to do whatever I say. No questions asked.

Cameron: Deal.

## Fake Snake - Chapter 9

Ray is sitting on his couch watching TV. Ray looks bored. He turns his head and looks out one of his windows overlooking his backyard. Ray sees Cameron running around outside.

Ray: Why is he so energetic? He should only be energetic when I need him to do something.

Cameron runs through Ray's house and then runs back outside.

Ray: Why does he have to train at my house?

Ray takes a deep breath in.

Ray: Idea!

Ray gets up from the couch and walks outside. Cameron stops training and looks at Ray.

Ray: I have noticed a mystery. There should be a giant red lake around here somewhere. We need to find it.

Cameron: The city is called Red Lake City.

Ray: I have never seen a red lake in my life.

Cameron: The lake isn’t actually red.

Ray: Then they lied?

Cameron: It’s just a name, Ray.

Ray: It should be just the right name with no ulterior motive.

Cameron: What ulterior motive?

Ray: Making me think the lake is red when it’s not.

Cameron: Why are we going to the lake?

Ray: It’ll be great. Just follow me and don’t ask questions.

They both run off.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Cameron and Ray stop at a giant lake a little off the city. They look along the glistening blue water. The longer Ray looks at the water the angrier he gets.

Ray: This lake… is the worst thing humanity created.

Cameron: We didn’t create the lake.

Ray: But we created the name. So I give us credit.

Ray looks around and realizes they have walked into a forest.

Ray: Huh, when did that happen?

Cameron: What?

Ray: Nothing. You're judging, I'm not telling you nothing.

Ray sees something moving in the water.

Cameron: Do you see that?

Ray: No…

Cameron: You were staring at it.

Ray: Yeah, I saw it.

???: You think you can comment on my territory like you're better than me?!

Ray and Cameron hear something tapping wood. They turn around. They see a man sized woodpecker tapping its beak against wood. Ray starts laughing.

Ray: It’s a big fucking bird!

Woodpecker: And?! That’s it! I’m gonna peck you to death!

Ray: What are you gonna do. Tap your beak on me?

The woodpecker jumps off the tree and flies down spinning around. The bird’s beak is like a drill. Ray dodges the bird. As the woodpeckers beak hits the ground, dirt flies up.

Ray: What the hell? That thing’s actually dangerous!

Cameron: Now I can finally test the training you have me.

Ray: Training? Oh, yeah, “the training.”

Cameron runs up to the woodpecker and punches the bird backwards. Ray just watches and picks at his teeth. The bird falls back, and Cameron tries to kick the bird. The woodpecker moves its beak to the side. Cameron’s leg hits the beak. Cameron falls over.

Cameron: Ah!

Ray: Stop losing! You loser!

Cameron gets up. He looks like he’s in pain. The woodpecker spreads its wings.

Ray: Chicken wings!

The woodpecker feels something bite it. If the bird looks to its side and sees Ray trying to eat his wing. Ray gives the woodpecker a thumbs up.

Woodpecker: Get off me!

The woodpecker flies away and Ray falls off his wing.

Ray: That’s right. You don’t eat chicken wings raw.

Ray runs over to a bush.

Ray: Secret bush of magic, give me something good.

Ray pulls a flamethrower out of the bush. When he looks back up at the bird, it’s too far away to hit with a flamethrower.

Ray: Damn, we almost had dinner.

Cameron: That’s not a chicken.

Ray: Is it a bird?

Cameron: Yeah, but-

Ray: Chickens are birds. Therefore it’s a chicken.

Cameron: No, all chickens are birds, but not all birds are chickens. Like squares and rectangles.

Ray: Stop talking about circles I never took English.

Cameron: Are chickens woodpeckers?!

Ray: No, that would be stupid.

Cameron: That bird was a woodpecker.

Ray: See, you agreed. It is a bird and all birds are chickens.

They hear some water splash around behind them. They turn around to face the lake. A giant serpent made out of cardboard, wood, and waterproof glue.

Ray: That is terrifying. We’re gonna die to a giant snake.

Cameron: Ray, it’s fake.

Ray: Then explain who made the snake.

The snake opens its mouth. A megaphone comes out of the snake's mouth.

Serpent: Leave before I kill you!

Ray: We gotta go.

Cameron: It’s fake!

Ray: Do you wanna die?

Cameron runs at the snake.

Ray: No, you’re too young to die! Well, I tried.

Ray runs and hides behind one of the trees. Cameron runs up the snake and inside it’s mouth. As he falls through the snake he breaks the megaphone. The woodpecker flies back over them.

Woodpecker: I’ll get them while they’re distracted. Like a true warrior.

Ray comes out from hiding and fires the flamethrower. The fire starts burning the bird.

Woodpecker: No, I won’t be eaten!

The bird flies away again.

Ray: Damn every time, and Cameron’s dead. That sucks. Who will I get to do everything for me now?

Cameron runs out of the snake with an old man. The old man is drinking tea.

Cameron: Where did you get tea from?

Ray: Did this guy also get eaten by the snake?

Old Man: I created the snake.

Ray: The snake is man made, like Godzilla?

Old Man: I guess.

Ray: Then I can beat this thing!

Ray runs around the snake, looking for a weakness. He stops when he sees a tag on the snake that says “made in China.” Ray taps the snake and it falls apart.

Ray: You can’t trust stuff made in China. Those communist bastards!

Ray runs back over to Cameron and the old man.

Ray: So, were you just chilling in a snake under the water?

Cameron: There is a bar down there.

Ray: Perfect, lead me!

Cameron and Ray run off. They run down the pipe of the leftover snake that comes out of the water. They run straight down the pipe. Ray sees a giant base with technology everywhere.

Ray: We we’re coming to this place to make a base, but this works too.

Cameron: Base?

Ray: This is where we will be doing all our superheroing from now on.

Cameron: Cool.

Old Man: What about me?

Cameron: Are you a bad guy?

Old Man. I like to think of myself as a hero.

Ray: You’re in.

Old Man: Yes!

Ray: This is the team! An awesome model looking, super powerful, genius, best superhero ever team leader and two other guys.

## RUN - Chapter 10

Ray, Cameron, and the old man are all eating fried chicken. Ray looks to be especially enjoying it.

Ray: I’m so glad we caught the bird after all that hard work.

Cameron: This is KFC.

Ray: You're confused.

Ray scoops mac and cheese out of a KFC container and puts it onto the plate. Ray sits there thinking to himself.

Ray: ‘Wait, if I leave Cameron here, he will still bother me. I need to drop him on some other continent. Yeah, that makes sense.’

Ray: Cameron!

Cameron: What?

Ray: We’re going on a field trip.

Cameron: Again.

Ray: I have a big budget.

Cameron: Where are we going?

Ray: Only the greatest place in the world!

Cameron: Where?

Ray: Don’t interrupt me!

Ray clears his throat.

Ray: Poland!

Cameron: Why is Poland the greatest place ever?

Ray: Because it’s poland. The place of the vikings!

Cameron: That’s Norway, Denmark, and Sweden.

Ray: Well Excuse me Mr. Nerd. I’m Polish. I think I know better than you! Now let’s go so I can drop you- I mean show you Poland.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Cameron and Ray get off a plane. They step on the snowy ground of Poland.

Ray: Breath in that fresh Poland air. It’s beautiful. I feel like I’m home again.

Cameron: Did you use to live in Poland?

Ray: Huh, no, I’ve never been to Poland.

They start walking through the snow.

Cameron: How Polish even are you?

Ray: Like 30 percent. I don’t remember. I had no idea until I took one of those spit tests.

Cameron shakes his head. They continue to walk through the snow.

Cameron: Any actual place we’re going?

Ray: Yeah.

Cameron: Where?

Ray: We’re going to walk through snow until we are next to a tree.

They pass a tree.

Cameron: Are we done?

Ray: No, not that tree.

Cameron: There are a lot of trees around here.

Ray: Then we’ll have to look for a while.

Cameron: What does the tree look like so I can help you find it?

Ray: It has bark. It’s tall.

Cameron: Taller than the trees we see here.

Ray: No. About the same height, maybe taller. It probably has snow near it.

Cameron: Ray, you’re just describing an average tree.

Ray: I’ve been found out! Run, run so far away!

Ray runs off. Cameron follows him. As they run, their trails of lighting melts the snow. There flashes of light brighten up the white and gray colors from the snow and tree bark. Snow kicks up behind them as they run. Soon Ray disappears. Cameron stops running.

Cameron: Damn. His white lightning is so hard to see.

Ray runs towards Cameron flailing his arms.

Cameron: I thought you were running away from me?!

Ray: Vikings!

A group of vikings follows behind Ray. They have axes, bows, spears, and other weapons in their hands as they chase Ray down. As they get closer, Cameron notices something off about them.

Cameron: Are they using food as weapons?

Ray speeds up and runs up to Cameron.

Ray: Why didn’t you help? They were trying to kill me with steak bones.

A chilli pepper lands in front of them.

Ray: It’s a bomb!

Ray and Cameron jump to the side. The chilli pepper explodes and snow kicks up.

Cameron: What the hell?!

Ray: Peppers full of gunpowder. Watch out.

A viking runs up to them. He has a giant carrot with spaghetti noodles attached to the top. At the end of the noodles is a durian.

Ray: He has a morningstar made of sweet and savory!

The viking swings his morningstar. Cameron ducks under it. Ray kicks the viking back. Vikings in the back have a carrot with ramen noodles attached from the top to the bottom of the carrot. Then they shoot smaller carrots using the big carrot as a bow.

Ray: Oh no! They have long range weapons! Watch out for the carrot arrows.

Ray quickly builds a snow wall. Both Cameron and Ray hide behind the snow wall.

All the troops stop attacking. A general comes out on top of a horse.

Viking: General Cone.

General Cone: Yes, that is my name. General Cone. Who are these two fake warriors?

Ray pops up from behind the wall of snow.

Ray: I’m Ray.

Ray goes back down behind the wall.

General Cone: Is he a mole? Why did he do that?

Ray pops back up.

Ray: Not a mole.

He goes back down.

General Cone: That is it. The mole is getting whacked!

General Cone gets off of his horse. He takes out an ice cream cone and holds it like a dagger. Ray comes out from behind the snow wall.

Ray: You don’t want to do this. We’re both Polish. We’re family.

General Cone: You were born in Poland?

Ray: No, what are you crazy?!

General Cone: En garde!

Ray: I don’t have a weapon.

General Cone: Then get ready to be stabbed. With a cone!

General Cone moves forward. Ray looks at him with big puppy eyes.

General Cone: Alright fine. You can join our conquest to take over the world.

Ray: Yes. Wait, what?

General Cone: We have the strongest military in all existence.

Ray: Do you have nuclear weapons?

General Cone: What?

Ray: Oh, you will definitely lose then. Let me show you.

Ray walks over to a bush.

Ray: Secret bush of magic, gimme something good!

Ray pulls out a device with a big red button.

Ray: Watch this.

Ray presses the button. They see a plane fly up above them a mile to the north.

Ray: Watch that’s gonna destroy everyth- RUN!

Ray runs away as fast as he can. Cameron follows him. Cameron is running faster than he ever has before. Now he is keeping up with Ray. They’re both running at Mach 6. They run across the ocean not stopping.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

An hour later, Ray and Cameron are breathing heavy laying on the floor of Ray’s house.

Cameron: Why did you drop a nuke on Poland?

Ray: It seemed like the right thing at the time.

Cameron: You’re going to get us killed.

Ray: I would never. Hey, now you’re faster. I think I did a good thing.

Cameron looks at Ray like he’s stupid. Ray shrugs.

## Dolores - Chapter 11

Cameron walks into school. A few people give him pitying looks. A few jocks pat him on the shoulder. Cameron walks up to Jay.

Cameron: What’s going on?

Jay: They all know about your parents death. It was all over the news.

Cameron: I don’t want other people I’ve never talked to giving me condolence every time I walk through the hallway.

Jay: They’ll stop after a day or two.

The bell rings.

Jay: Well, c’mon. Let’s get to class.

They walk into one of the classrooms and sit down. Once the bell rings again their teacher stands up and walks in front of the class. The teacher has medium length slicked back gray hair.

???: Hello class. My name is Mr.Douglas.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray sits in his bed. He rolls off the bed and looks for clothes. He opens his closet, and the monster in the closet hands him a folded outfit.

Ray: Thank you.

Ray takes the outfit and closes the closet door. Ray puts on the clothes. He walks into the bathroom. He brushes his teeth. Then he looks in the mirror.

Ray: Mirror on the wall. Who is the top choice of them all?

Mirror: Not you.

Ray: Still?

Mirror: Still.

Ray: Damn that top choice guy must be god because I’m definitely the greatest person on earth.

Ray leaves the bathroom. He walks down stairs and sits on the couch. He turns on the TV.

Reporter: There was a bank robbery last night.

Ray changes the channel.

Ray: Who the fuck watches the news? The news is an old relic from 1950.

Ray takes a deep breath in.

Ray: I’ve got an idea.

The lightbulb next to eat for the reading light turns on.

Ray: That lights not on. Must be a bad bulb.

Ray moves to unscrew the lightbulb.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray stops running in front of an old antique shop. Ray walks inside.

Worker: You're too young for this shop.

Ray: I am not.

Worker: You don’t understand the dangers of these relics.

Ray: Yes I do.

Worker: You do huh?

The worker puts a sword on the table.

Worker: If you’re sure that you can handle it. This is one of the dangerous ones.

Ray: I need it.

Worker: It’s 200-

Ray: Take my money!

Ray leaves the store. He looks at the sword and sees it’s a rusty old antique.

Ray: Oh, he fucking tricked me that bastard! Jokes on him. I’ll use this antique until it breaks and then get a refund!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

The bell rings and everyone moves to leave the class. As Cameron is about to walk out of the door, Mr. Douglas stops him.

Mr. Douglas: Now, I wouldn’t normally talk to you because of this, but the circumstances are different. I heard your father died. I want to say that I know how you feel. My father died when I was around your age. If you ever need to talk about it, I’m here.

Cameron: Thanks Mr. Douglas.

Cameron leaves the classroom.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray goes home holding the antique in his hand. He walks inside and bangs the rust knife into his counter over and over again. It doesn’t break and Ray starts slamming it against the counter with super speed. His counter starts to degrade so he starts thinking. Ray speeds away. In less than a second he returns with a hammer. He starts banging the antique with the hammer. He bangs it so fast that the banging sounds like thunder. Then the top of the hammer breaks off. Ray looks at the hammer dumb founded. Ray runs away to a bush in his backyard.

Ray: Secret bush of magic, gimme something good.

Ray pulls out a jackhammer. Ray looks excited. He runs back inside and grabs his knife. He runs outside and puts his knife down on a flat rock. Then Ray turns on the jackhammer and puts it against the knife. Ray can’t hear anything, but he’s determined to break the knife. He hears a crack and he stops the jack hammer. He looks at the knife, it’s completely fine. Ray sees the rock under the knife split in half. He looks at the jack hammer and sees the chisel on the jack hammer is broken down.

Ray: What the fuck?! How? How?!

Cameron walks into the back yard.

Cameron: What are you doing?

Ray: Trying to return something!

Cameron: At your house? With a jack hammer?

Ray: There’s more to it, but if you want to sum it up… Yes.

Cameron: Shouldn’t you be doing something heroic for you Hero Sight channel? Maybe like, taking down the bank robber.

Ray: Maybe he will be able to break this stupid thing! We must find him, immediately!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Cameron and Ray stop at a bank. They walk inside while Ray puts a go pro on.

Ray: I hate robits. Why are you making me wear a robit.

Cameron: Robot.

Ray: That’s what I said. What does this robit do anyway?

Cameron: Robit like things.

Ray: Stop saying it funny. You know it’s pronounced robit.

Cameron: I said it like you said it. Robit.

Ray: There’s no I in robit.

While Ray and Cameron are arguing in the back of the bank a man walks in. A pulse of green energy comes off the masked man. Everything in the room slows. Down. Ray and Cameron run at the man as fast as they can, but their fastest is only getting them to walking speed. Ray throws his knife at the man. The man catches the slow moving knife and looks at it.

???: Rusted old thing.

The man throws it back at Ray and then walks towards the back of the bank. Ray catches the knife and he speeds up to normal. Ray breaths in.

Ray: Now his powers no longer affect me!

The man comes out of the back of the bank, staring at Ray with bags of money in his hands.

Ray: Who are you villain?

???: My name is The Loris.

Ray: Dalores!

The Loris: The Loris!

Ray: What kind of super villain name is that? Dolores! Who does it strike fear into, old people?!

The Loris: I’m done with this.

The Loris runs up to Ray. Ray trips him and Loris falls over. Green pulses stop coming off of hm and everything speeds up to normal.

Ray: I will unmask this villain like the hero I am!

Ray unmasks the man.

Cameron: Mr. Douglas.

Ray: Tell me villain. Why did you do it?

Mr. Douglas: I was going to be fired after this year because I was a meta human. So I decided to get back at the world by using my powers to steal. I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.

Ray: All’s well that ends well.

The cops draw Mr. Douglas away.

Ray: Who called the cops? Everything only sped up a few seconds ago.

Cameron shrugs.

Ray: Why does everything always work out so perfectly for me?

## I Rest My Case - Chapter 12

Ray and Cameron are training outside.

Ray: Mow my lawn! Then wash my dishes, and mop my floor!

Cameron: How will that help me get faster?

Ray: It’ll work. Trust me.

Ray watches Cameron run off and start doing chores.

Ray: ‘Hopefully he doesn’t realize he’s just as fast as me.He’ll probably leave and I kind of like having him around.’

Ray hears a knock on the door.

Ray: Yes! My Ray slippers came in!

Cameron: Ray slippers?

Ray: I ordered custom made slippers with my face on them. They’re the best looking slippers you’ve ever seen.

Cameron: I’ll trust your judgement.

Ray opens the door. A man stands there with papers.

Man: You’ve been served.

Ray: Oh, what are we eating?

Cameron: Ray, that means you have to go to court.

Ray: Really, I love court. Judge Jerry is my man. I accidentally killed three of his wives, but he understands. He didn’t like them either.

Cameron: I thought you said accidentally.

Ray: I know what I said.

The man leaves and Ray shuts the door.

Ray: I’m going to go to court and get money again.

Cameron: How do you even make money? You don’t have a job.

Ray: I got to court at least once a month and get cash.

Cameron: How?!

Ray: People should stop bringing me to court. I always win.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray and Cameron are walking through the court building. Cameron is watching a video where both Ray and him are running around saving people. They both walk into court and sit down.

Judge Jerry: Ray! So glad to see you. How are the kids?

Ray: I don’t have kids.

Judge Jerry: Yeah, me neither. Someone killed my wives before I could have any kids.

Ray sees a faint black aura coming off of the judge.

Ray: That judge looks musty.

Cameron: He seems like he isn’t your guy Ray.

Ray: He loves me. He helps me win cases all the time.

Judge Jerry: Order in the court!

Judge Jerry slams two gavels on the desk at the same time. He throws both the gavels at Ray and Cameron.

Ray: What was that for?

Judge Jerry: Just testing how hard I’m going to have to throw it.

Judge Jerry takes out a paper.

Judge Jerry: Ray, it looks like you’re being charged with quite a lot.

Ray: I haven’t done anything.

Judge Jerry: Says here you chopped down a tree on government land, smashing a hospital window, destroying a supermarket, several accounts of assault and battery, filling the ocean with plastic, stealing a 1000 dollar plus Xphone, 6 counts of murder, starting a wildfire near the red lake, and dropping an atomic bomb on Poland.

Ray: I didn’t do any of that.

Judge Jerry: Not even one of these things? Remember, you can’t lie in court.

Ray: Not a one.

Judge Jerry: Not even the assaults you posted on Hero Sight.

Ray: Those were staged.

Judge Jerry: Are you sure?

Ray: I was there wasn’t I?

Judge Jerry: Okay. Plaintiff, who will you bring to the stand.

Lawyer: The dark knight.

Cameron: Oh no.

The Dark Knight walks up the courtroom. He sits at the stand.

Lawyer: Dark Knight, was that video you recorded staged?

Dark Knight: No it was not. He showed up out of nowhere and helped out the criminal I tried to take down.

Lawyer: That is all your honor.

The lawyer sits down. Ray stands up.

Ray: Dark Knight: Was I or was I not saving the innocent and stopping you from beating that poor man to a pulp.

Dark Knight: You did call him innocent a lot.

The crowd gasps.

Ray: Exactly. He was innocent. I rest my case.

Ray sits down.

Judge Jerry: What about the tree you cut down?

Ray: To save the state money. It was marked with an X.

Judge Jerry: The hospital window?

Ray: Someone was attacking me.

Judge Jerry: Supermarket?

Ray: Same answer sir.

Judge Jerry: Filling the ocean with plastic?

Ray: I used those straws to get to the bottom of the ocean. I didn’t think about it hurting the animals.

Judge Jerry: the Xphone?

Ray: Overpriced.

Judge Jerry: I understand that. Starting a fire near the red lake?

Ray: I was trying to cook something. Fire accidentally spread. I don’t actually ever remember a fire.

Judge Jerry: You weren’t there when the fireman put the fire out. Now for the big one. Dropping an atomic bomb on Poland?

Ray: Viking uprising. I had to take care of them. They were communist, anarchist, socialist, fascist bastards.

Judge Jerry: What if I proposed some counter arguments to this that the Plaintiff put together before we started this court case.

Ray: Sure. I don’t know how you could retaliate against such a great rebuttal, but okay.

Judge Jerry: That tree didn’t have an X on it. That was one of the park's oldest trees. There is footage of you jumping out the hospital window. Even if you didn’t mean to, you still put plastic in the ocean. Something being overpriced doesn’t give you the right to steal it. You were cooking with what, and started a forest fire? Finally, it doesn’t matter what the vikings are, you can’t bomb them.

Ray: I was cooking with a flamethrower to heat up a human sized bird.

Judge Jerry sighs.

Judge Jerry: Do you have a final statement?

Ray: I’m not guilty.

Judge Jerry: Plaintiff?

Lawyer: I rest my case.

The jury walks out of the room. As soon as the last one leaves the room, the jury return to their seats in the courtroom.

Judge Jerry: Is he guilty?

All The Jury: Yes.

Judge Jerry: I figured. The sentence is life in prison.

Ray looks down at Cameron.

Ray: I didn’t do this. It was all Cameron.

Cameron: What?

Ray: I wanted to protect him because he’s a child, but my good conscience just can’t stand lying.

Judge Jerry: How could he do that?

Ray: He set me up. Watch.

Ray walks up to the Judge and shows him the video Cameron was watching earlier.

Ray: See, Cameron has super speed. He has been with me this whole time!

Judge: Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Ray looks at the judge as his aura changes from black to green.

Judge: I should have known it was you Cameron. You have the look of guilt all over your face!

Guards walk over to Cameron and grab him.

Cameron: Ray, how could you do this?

Ray: Easy, I just talked.

The guards drag Cameron away. Ray looks proud of himself.

Ray: The free life another day.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Ray puts the key into his door and as soon as he goes to turn the key, time stops. He can’t move anything, not even the key. The world changes to a grayish lack of color. A black portal opens up near Ray. A man in a dark cloak comes out of the portal. His skin is pure white.

???: I am Demise. One of the totems of death. Ray, you have been avoiding death for far too long. I tried to kill you many times. Every Time some force got involved and prevented your death.

Ray: Who did that? I should really thank him.

Denise: I still don’t know, but I have an idea. Now your fate has reached you. You will die and go to the underworld for your actions.

Demise raises his hand. He slashed his hand down and a black force cuts through the air. A green shield appears in front of Ray and blocks the black force. A red portal appears next to Ray. A older looking blond man comes out of the portal.

Demise: EOL, I should have known. You have escaped death just as many times as Ray has. You should have never been able to leave your universe. Then when the one thousand EOLs attacked you snuck away into the negative speed force.

EOL: Ray, I can’t stay for long. Use the rusty knife. I’ll come back for you when the time’s right and we’ll rule this world.

A red portal appears and EOL runs through it. The portal disappears as Ray takes out his knife. Ray runs up to Demise and puts the knife in his hand. Ray quickly takes it out of Demise’s hand and blasts Demise back with a black force. Demise is pushed through the black portal from the blast. Ray lands on the ground.

Ray: It’s over.

Darkness flies out of the portal and grabs Ray faster than he can react. The darkness slowly drags Ray into the portal.

Ray: No!

The black portal closes.

**End.**