Bitter Chocolate

BITTER CHOCOLATE 0214

AN EXTREMELY SAD AND MOURNFUL TRANSGENDER THEMED SHORT STORY BY FUKAMIOTOHA, presented in the 4Koma manga format.

**Story Designation**---Canon Compatible

**Synopsis**

Two boys have known each other as friends for a long, long time. They are now both in high school. However, one of the 'boys' knew themselves to be a male to female transgender teen. Therefore, she transitioned to a girl six months ago. She wants to give chocolate to her special longtime friend who is in her high school class, and do so on Valentine's Day, to commemorate her love for him. However, unfortunately, she overhears an offhanded comment from another male student talking to her longtime friend. That misinformed student is telling her friend that his love for her is actually a perverted Yaoi / B.L. (boy-with-boy) love, since according to that unaware student, the Trans Girl is still a 'boy' who will never be a real girl (a false assumption). That erroneous comment immediately affects the Trans Girl, with her internalizing it, and thereby greatly hurting her. This also spoils her chocolate gift opportunity. Later that day at home, she cries her heart out, and tries to symbolically cleanse herself, as well as her love for her boyfriend, from any hint of wrong thinking on her part, or of herself disrespecting their relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend, with a rather bizarre ritual.

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BITTER CHOCOLATE, BY FUKAMIOTOHA

(Story Note---All outdated and offensive terms will be updated with correct designations. When the Main Character, a Trans Girl, is misgendered by other characters, the incorrect term will be placed in {brackets}.)

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The Main Character is a high school aged Trans Girl. She used to be a perceived male until six months ago, but transitioned at that time to her correct Gender Identity of female. She continues to have a male student as a close, intimate, best friend; actually he is now her loving boyfriend.

"Now I know for sure. From the beginning, it was pure love ! I couldn't help myself, falling in love with him."

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She is at home in her kitchen, making home-made chocolate for the upcoming holiday. Girls give chocolate to boys on Valentine's Day. She is making her boyfriend's favorite kind of chocolate---dark, unsweetened, somewhat bitter chocolate. She meditates to herself while she is busy.

"It has already been half a year since I decided to turn into a girl by transitioning from male to female. While Valentine's Day is a big event for boys, since they receive gifts of chocolate from girls, I've come to realize that the holiday has a very special meaning for girls, too. They are the ones who select just who to give their personal chocolate to. Tomorrow is going to be my first time experiencing Valentine's Day as a girl ! Wow ! It's finished ! I'm surprised that my gift of chocolate turned out so well ! Made it myself ! This is just an Obligatory gift of chocolate, although I hope he could see it as Lover's Chocolate, but, okay ! I wonder if it will make him happy.....? I hope so !"

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The Trans Girl goes to school the next day and hesitates before entering the homeroom, so early in the morning. There, she notices her boyfriend talking to another male student. However, the conversation between her boyfriend, and the other student, is about to turn real sour, real fast.

Did my boyfriend come early to school ? I will take a peek in the homeroom. He's in there, all right ! I can hear their conversation---

"You must have already gotten something for the holiday, right ?", questions the other boy.

"Nah ! By whom ?", answers the boyfriend.

"You know...by that {guy} who has turned into a girl ! Hey, didn't you two 'do it' already ?", comments the other boy.

"You have a dirty mind !", retorts the boyfriend, "She used to be a 'boy', yet she is my best friend !"

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From just outside the door to the classroom, the girl is shy, does not yet enter the classroom, and continues to hear the conversation between her boyfriend and the other boy. She is not prepared for the mean-spirited and grossly inaccurate comment that the other boy is about to make---

"That {boy} that you are dating, is **JUST FREAKIN' CREEPY ! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT {BOY} WILL EVER BE A *REAL GIRL !!! NO WAY !"***

The Trans Girl is so stunned and shocked, that she becomes fearful and apprehensive, and could not say a word in her defense, or enter the classroom to confront the badly misinformed and personally prejudicial other boy.

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The Trans Girl was so frightened and mesmerized by that other boy's nasty, uncalled-for comment, that she ran away from the classroom. She went through the morning classes in a daze, anxious and confused, consumed with panic and dread, until lunchtime, wherein she skipped the rest of the school day and went home. Late that afternoon, she is sitting on the floor, perched on a pillow. She is wearing a dark gray turtleneck style, short-hemline sweater dress. There, she muses about the holiday today, and how important it is to girls in general, and herself in particular. She still has the Valentine's gift package with her. She begins to unpack the gift box.

"And so I ran away from school, just like that ! Today is Valentine's Day, an important day for girls....girls just like me ! It really was very important to me .... !"

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Unwrapping and opening her gift box, the Trans Girl notices the large, heart shaped chocolate piece that she had placed in the center of the chocolate collection. She had made only one of these, and was originally embarrassed to add it to the collection. Yet she did, as this holiday and gift giving was so important to her. Pretending what her boyfriend would have done, she places the large, heart shaped chocolate in her mouth. It has a bitter taste to it, just like the kind that her boyfriend likes. Yet, the taste is too bitter for her to enjoy.

"It's heart shaped. In the end, I only put in one like that. It is large, and I was embarrassed, so only one need be in the gift box. It was the one holiday that was important to me.....

It's bitter ! Yet it is the kind of chocolate that he would like. But it is too bitter for me."

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As the Trans Girl holds the bitter chocolate in her mouth, the bitter taste sensation seems to grow stronger. This because not only is she experiencing the physical taste on her tongue, but a bitter mental state has overtaken her. The emotional bitterness of succumbing to her fear of what that other boy had said, wrong as it was, begins to overshadow the bitter flavor that she is tasting. Symbolically, her sharp conscience is making her taste the 'bitter fruit' of running and hiding, when confronted by transphobia, anti-transgender prejudicial attitudes, and behavior. She can't 'swallow' the concept of having fear and cowardliness being a regular part of her Trans Girl experiences.

"The bitterness is spreading. No matter how I try, I can't swallow it ! I.....I....."

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The mental and emotional chains that have bound and held the Trans Girl to her own fear, trepidation, and cowardliness, have snapped. The bitterness in not only her mouth, but in her mind, heart, and spirit have come to be too terrible to bear. She spits out the bitter chocolate, but that is only a token of her symbolically 'spitting out' from her conscience any thought of ever again cowering or running away in abject fear of presenting herself as who she really is, and of being a real, authentic girl, a Trans Girl.

"I spat out that bitterness....**ALL OF IT !!!"**

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"I used to be a 'boy'. I now have a boyfriend who is my best friend. Now I know for sure. From the beginning, it was pure love ! I couldn't help myself, falling in love with him."

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(THE END)