An Orcward Encounter

**An Orcward Encounter** is the 4th Oxventure episode, in which the Guild go on an expedition.

## Synopsis

After saving the Wild Wild Woods from a giant mechanical logging beetle in their previous Oxventure, our brave-ish heroes are recruited to raid a crypt full of maybe fabulous treasure and definitely terrible danger. Join them at The Bellowing Walrus tavern as the next Oxventure begins.

In this new episode find Corazón the Pirate, Dob the Half-Orc Bard, Merilwen the Elf Druid, Prudence the Tiefling Warlock, and Egbert the Dragonborn Paladin babysitting an adorable scholar through a treacherous tomb.

## Summary

A few days after their previous adventure, and having failed to locate M. Channail, the Guild arrives in a town named "Tanner's Folly." This peculiar settlement was established by a group of tanners who quickly realized the folly of having so many tanners in one place. Their destination is a tavern called the Bellowing Walrus, which is owned by a man named Edwin Gray Xavier Rezzed. He adheres to Tanner's Folly's tradition by inscribing his name in massive letters on the wall.

Once settled in, they notice a man in a corner displaying a sign that reads "Adventurers Wanted." With nothing else on their agenda, the Guild approaches the man. It takes him a few moments to comprehend their purpose, but he eventually introduces himself as Alfred Strangetide. An archaeologist by profession, he expresses his desire to explore a nearby crypt. Unfortunately, the crypt is shrouded in a reputation for being a dwelling of "great evil," deterring others from joining him. Despite the pungent aroma and Prudence's curiosity about the malevolent entity, the Guild agrees to accompany Alfred. They seek to understand Alfred's motivation, concerned that he might be a cultist. Alfred clarifies that a priceless chalice is rumored to be within the crypt—a chalice capable of granting any desire. The promise of this treasure persuades the Guild to join the expedition. Alfred initially proposes a 50/50 arrangement, but after some negotiation, he concedes to a 70/30 split in favor of the Guild. He also bargains for a minute aboard the Joyful Damnation, during which Dob reenacts a scene from Titanic with him.

After gathering their provisions, the party arrives at the crypt, sealed behind a heavy door. Egbert and Dob successfully open the door, with Dob handling the task more gracefully than Egbert. Upon entering the first room, they encounter ten statues of warriors encircling a statue of a skeleton with an axe embedded in its head. Beneath the skeleton lies Infernal text that reads "Avenge me." Dob humorously questions how the skeleton managed to write that, before recalling that it's a statue, not a real skeleton. Egbert identifies a statue lacking a weapon and attempts to shatter it, but his attack rebounds harmlessly. Corazón examines the statue closely, discovering a small gap on its side. Egbert retrieves the axe from the skeleton's head and positions it within the gap. This action causes the upper portion of the statue to detach, unveiling a lever. Egbert pulls the lever, revealing an opening to the next room.

Concerned for Alfred's safety, Dob ingeniously fashions a papoose to carry Alfred, much to the archaeologist's delight. The group continues down the corridor and encounters a room brimming with tripwires. In an attempt to bypass the wires, Merilwen transforms into a cat to stealthily navigate beneath them. However, her efforts trigger the wires, causing a barrage of arrows to be unleashed. Dob rushes forward, shielding Prudence and Merilwen from the projectiles. Corazón deftly maneuvers from one wall to another while playing a hurdy-gurdy, and Egbert plucks the arrows out of the air. Observing Prudence's injuries, Dob administers healing magic, which successfully mends her wounds. Oddly, the wholesome energy of the spell triggers a peculiar sensation for Prudence, who detects a mild sense of displeasure from Cthulhu. Dob momentarily believes a tentacle is enveloping him, but it turns out to be Alfred gripping him tightly, still rattled by the arrow ordeal.

Before proceeding to the next room, enshrouded in darkness, Corazón questions Alfred about his awareness of the traps. Alfred confesses to having heard about them, but he notes that the civilization employing these traps vanished millennia ago. He admits ignorance regarding details like the Infernal writing. In response to Alfred's query about Prudence's reading ability, she reveals her Tiefling heritage as the reason, a fact that somehow escaped Alfred's notice. Corazón then asserts an 80/20 profit split due to Alfred's failure to disclose the traps, a proposition Alfred disputes. Dob intervenes, threatening to abort the quest if tensions escalate, prompting Alfred to reluctantly agree to the new terms.

Their attempt to progress into the next room is hindered by its profound darkness. Alfred remarks on the lack of light, prompting Corazón to offer him a torch. However, Corazón reclaims the torch when Alfred attempts to gnaw on it. Egbert hands Merilwen a lit arrow, and her skillful shot illuminates all the torches in the room. On the ceiling, the group notices intricate carvings portraying an intense battle involving Elves, Tieflings, Dwarves, and a solitary Pirate playing a piccolo. The focal point depicts a Tiefling and an Elf locked in combat, while a fallen Dwarf lies on the ground. Directing their attention downward, the group observes hexagonal tiles, each bearing distinct runes. Merilwen recognizes Elvish runes, Prudence identifies Infernal ones, and Alfred deduces the rest are either Pirate or Dwarven in origin.

Curious about the carvings, Corazón inquires of Alfred their significance. Alfred elucidates that they depict the Battle of Brunin the Unworthy. This infamous Dwarf suffered defeat at the hands of Tieflings and Elves, who promptly turned against each other. The conflict escalated when Steven, the Tiefling leader, attacked the Elf leader. Despite their demise, these adversaries remain perpetually entwined in battle. Attempting to decipher the puzzle, the group initially arranges the tiles to spell "Brunin," only to realize the intended word is "Unworthy." Prudence dances across the Dwarven tiles, and the rest follow suit.

They encounter a door, immediately rousing suspicion among the group. Prudence deciphers the Infernal text: "Push to open." Contrary to expectations, Egbert attempts to pull the door open without success. Prudence takes matters into her own hands by booting the door, revealing it to be a standard entrance. This leads them into an ominous circular chamber where a stone pedestal supports a chalice crafted from an unusual horn material. Alfred awakens from his slumber and enthusiastically identifies it as the sought-after artifact—the Chalice of Everything Everyone Ever Wanted. Corazón employs his spyglass to examine the chalice, detecting its potent aura. Dob advances and, attempting to replace the chalice with a bag of sand, triggers the room to plunge into darkness. Within this darkness, time stands still for Dob as a malevolent energy courses through his arm, infiltrating his thoughts. The lights abruptly return, revealing a figure beside Dob—resembling him but with eyes ablaze in Infernal energy.

Evil Dob wields a rapier and narrowly misses attacking the genuine Dob. Merilwen's arrow strikes the evil duplicate, snapping Dob back to awareness and prompting him to thrust the chalice into the doppelganger's head, causing it to sizzle with energy. Seizing an opportunity, Prudence engages in conversation with Evil Dob, offering a trade for the chalice. However, the creature declines; the Chalice of Everything Everyone Ever Wanted encompasses its deepest desires. Prudence's attempt at flirtation meets rejection due to her bloodied state. An Eldritch Blast aimed at the creature misses, thrown off by its rejection. Egbert intervenes by shoving a bomb into the evil duplicate's mouth, igniting an explosion within. Evil Dob retaliates with a glare, prompting a cheerful thumbs-up from Egbert. Corazón adds his crossbow fire to the onslaught.

The evil duplicate unveils a lute and casts Thunder Wave, rendering Egbert unconscious. Merilwen's arrow pierces the evil duplicate's form as Dob tends to Egbert, restoring his consciousness. Prudence channels an Eldritch Blast, launching it at Evil Dob, who momentarily reconsiders her offer of a date before succumbing to explosion. The chalice and a heap of gold fall to the floor. The Guild seeks Alfred's counsel on whether to reclaim the chalice, to which he advises leaving it be. Alfred requests three-tenths of the gold pile, but they negotiate to two coins, an offer he accepts. In celebration of their triumph, Dob plays his sister's lullaby.

## Behind the Scenes Trivia

* The owner of the bar they started in (and indeed the whole concept of the writing on the wall of said bar) was created because this story happened at EGX Rezzed 2018, and the name of the event was written on the stage they were on.
* Alfred was meant to be running around the areas, pointing out anything the Guild missed. But instead, the Guild patronized him so much he went from a dignified scholar to a whiny toddler.