Darbo

It is advised that every self-respecting human being should close this page instantly and don't subject themselves to Darbo's gutter-tier fanfictions.

In case you really are a sick fuck, you are free to burn away the last of your brain tissue but **YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!**

*Abandon hope all ye who enter here...*

## Darbo

Picture carefully handpicked by Darbo himself

### Aliases

Darbo; Furry Inquisitor, Darbo The Shed-Dweller, The Darbinator

## Physical description

### Eye color

Negro

Darbo is a clearly autistic furfag who is only tolerated in the Merchant's Guild due to not living on neetbucks (he claims to have a job AND donate blood plasma for his income) and being "generally based"[*citation needed*], though the later nearly does nothing to outweigh the fact he is still a furfag.

He (despite his OC being female and sometimes a hermaphrodite) is notable for his obnoxiously curvy, furry OC which is involved in a thankfully small variety of putrid niche fetishes. For better or worse, situations she has been portrayed in include memes passed between Merchants and sometimes include Merchants themselves in the images (see gallery).

He is also notable for groveling to Sseth when he feels the Jannies are targeting him exclusively, believing his server boost gives him advantage when bargaining with Sseth and the Jannies, and still being referred to as a mod despite no longer being so. When not burning money on furry porn (which can net him over $150 a piece), Darbo also burns money on one few pieces of weaboo merchandise worth buying: Gunpla models, which is quite based.

## Darbo's gross OC

Darbo's OC uses his online name out of pure admitted laziness and represents some strange, autogynephilic fantasy of what he would like to be if he could have all his fetishes fulfilled. Darbo "the character" is a 6'5" (roughly 195 centimeters) biologically female (was originally male; admitted by Darbo himself) anthropomorphic husky with obnoxiously large secondary sexual characteristics with a simple blue and white fur pattern and silver eyes. Her bust size varies due to artistic ~~liberty~~ laziness but seems to be between around the end of the alphabet in cup size and sizes that simply defy alphabetical classification much to the chagrin of weaboos who enjoy blatant smut series such as Club Eiken (he refers to them as "exercise ball size" despite exercise balls coming in multiple sizes). Darbo insists he is not a dog-fucker, citing implicit human traits which outweigh the animal qualities such as "Darbo the character" having 5 fingers, plantigrade feet with 5 toes, and having human genitalia instead of accurate animal genitalia. She has two alternate forms; an unapologetically weaboo human form with animal ears and tail, and an even more fetishy "pooltoy" version of her standard form which defies all biological sense. Regardless of form, she can grow a penis to satisfy individuals of any taste and only somewhat elevating her above other women. Not going to lie, the 1950's housewife hair is one of the only satisfying things about her[*says who?*], but don't let that distract you from how awful everything else is.

The lore for Darbo the character is thankfully not a schizophrenic mess like many furry OC backstories, but is quite sparse and skubby; Darbo is actually an eldritch monstrosity from the darkness between the stars. Originally one of the most powerful warriors from a nondescript Earth-like world, a life devouring cosmic ~~being~~ negroid with an insatiable libido consumed her original species but kept her as a fucktoy and eventually tentacle raped her into her current form. Over a multi-thousand year abusive relationship functioning as the herald for the being, referred to unoriginally as "The Beast", preparing worlds for consumption, Darbo eventually tricked the being; The Beast, having not eaten in a long time, was nearly mad with hunger as it floated through the blackness between habited worlds, and thus was more than happy to hear of a whole cluster of stars with inhabited worlds and thus spent most of its remaining energy, which was also forcibly added to by Darbo herself, to cosmically teleport to the location. However, The Beast like a liberal paleontology student flunking out by refusing to classify skulls ethnically, decided to not judge a star by its colors and thus was slowly annihilated by two colliding blackholes, the X-ray ejection of which nearly killed Darbo and left her adrift in space for an immeasurable amount of time. From there, it's just shitty adlib to explain why Darbo is sucking off some person's OC or dressing in inconsistent era-appropriate clothing.

Of course, like all furfags, Darbo's OC has so-called "powers". She is a highly potent psychic possessing a talent for telepathy, psychometabolism (the ability to alter one's body with their mind), and cryokinesis. Her eldritch cellular structure allows limited morphability which combined with her psychometabolism allows her multiple forms and homeostatic extremophilic traits such as impressive but slow regeneration, not producing feces, flatulence, or offensive odors in general[*citation needed*], and also producing an odor destroying, air freshening compound that cleans the air around her in a 10-foot radius and also destroys pheramones, leaving a crisp spring water and blackberry smell[*citation needed*]; this is refered to as "anti-musk", one of her various anti-fetish measures; others of which include the ability to make herself extremely toxic if consumed to stop voriphiles and non-stick fur to stop people from cumming on her expecting nasty results. Disturbingly, like Lanky Kong, Donky Kong's retarded orangutan cousin, Darbo can take in large quantities of gasses, liquids, and/or solids, to expand her body, but not infinitely as she will burst when overfilled. This trait is honestly quite unremarkable and only serves for niche fetish purposes. More disturbingly, she can also pop eggs out of her ass that eventually swell and burst into little, Cell Jr. style, goblin-like clones of herself known as "Darblings" which are aggressive and crass, like most people who live in ghettos. Darbo, for the sake of some estranged sense of game balance brought on by gamemastering too many tabletop RPGs (more on that later), has given his character some weaknesses; outside of trying to explain her powers in a light of cosmic modesty, she takes extra damage from electrical attacks.

Outside of bullshit psychic powers, Darbo is proficient with a wide variety of melee weapons, however none of those include weapons used by weaboos. While weaboos studied the blade, Darbo picked up an oversized mace and proceeded to begin smashing katanas and crushing samurai O-yoroi armor. Her fondness for crushing weapons in general also extends to a particular taste for polehammers, especially the ever-based Lucerne Hammer and Bec De Corbin. When it comes to modern weapons, she approaches an obsessive angle towards tactical capabilities and heavy firepower, preferring low capacity but high caliber munitions fired from semiautomatic and burstfire platforms; especially revolvers, assault rifles, designated marksman rifles, and light machineguns.

Aside from the multitudes of art purchased, Darbo has also purchased the otherwise unwarranted time and effort of a freelance voice actress to provide a voice for his abomination; some of her quotes related to current and previous members of the guild as follows:
Chippa is accosted by Darbo

Giles bargains hentai pictures with Darbo and is shot

Bisous trying to make her fart

## Darbo IRL

IRL Darbo is an obese Americunt with a rather jar-like head in his older 20's. Closer inspection of his face and hands questions how white he is. Despite allusions towards a likeable demeanor he is still a furfag and it is rumored despite claims to the contrary he owns a shitty, urine-soaked fursuit anyway. He seems to not care that his Google icon is his fursona, connecting his inactive youtube channel to his degeneracy. He works wagie hours at a very wagie job. He claims to have had sex with a crazy, chubby, bigtitty wiccan whom he had to break up with due to her clinginess, but this is a contested claim, despite alternatives suggested by Merchants being just as unpleasant for all parties. He claims his father's control freak tendencies influenced his current behaviors. Among his IRL photos one of a huge bruise he incurred on his ass stands out the most.

Outside of being only somewhat less than ordinary and being a degenerate, one of his online exploits from his younger days gained traction as a meme as seen here: "Why the heck to do people pronounce reese's cups as ree-cees??? who the hell does that, i mean seriously d-do you not know your american heritage-uh in the early 1900s? it's pronounced reese's, get it right. or don't go to dairy queen. don't buy any. alright, or yknow what better yet better yet eat only reese's product stuff even though it's owned originally by hershey's, eat only reese's for a while so you can stop calling them REE-CEES! now i don't know what way to stare at this iphone camera so i will get off now. as i said it's not REE-CEES it's REESE'S! MMMMMMM"

### Darbo's Internet Exploits

Darbo has been used by other internet personalities for a quick buck despite his belief their intentions were far more genuine, these include fervent anti-furry AFreeManOrNot and equally cringe, niche fetishist, BigNastyShrek, whom the Merchants Guild was quite concerned was a child and was prepared to doxx Darbo for legal and safety reasons.

### Sources

1. ↑ Verbatim from Darbo's honest but nonetheless retarded ramblings
2. ↑ Truths uncovered after huffing too much volcanic gas
3. ↑ Reviews left by equally or far cringier individuals who roleplayed sexual encounters with Darbo's OC
4. ↑ Widely accepted fact which requires no citation other than for redundancy and denial of will result in execution by femboy thigh skullcrushing