Kyle Alexander Turd

Photo of Kyle Turd taken by Jared Turd

**Kyle Alexander "Kyle" Turd** moved to Lower Duck Pond on March 14th, 2019. Kyle has an older brother, Jared, who did not move together with him. Kyle currently lives in the Turd's Apartment at 33 YeeYee Road together with his aunt, Maurice.

He owns a 2-year-old Samoyed, Waheey, a female pet ball python, Snek and an adopted Finnish Spitz Puppy, Ollie.

## Early Life in Upper Duck Pond

### Birth

**Kyle Alexander "Kyle" Turd** was born on February 14th, 2002. He is the youngest in the Turd Family, who lives in Upper Duck Pond. Kyle’s Father is the notorious robber of Upper Duck Pond, infamously as “ Robber Turd ”. Kyle and Jared never got to see their father at all, for his arrest was publicly filmed on 1 April 1980. The Shelbyville Sentinel newsletter company published about the incident in their 24 August 1980 paper.

### Bad Reputation

From a young age of eight, Kyle aims to be a doctor. However, his laziness and mischief caused him an even worse reputation with the community in his previous county. Sources claimed that he would egg neighbouring houses with his brother when he was nine.

### Traumatic Experience

On 27 January 2012, Kyle got into a massive fight with the school bully, Xavier, resulting in a vertical scar on his left eye. He nearly killed Xavier. Ever since that incident, Kyle started developing his Bipolar Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. He would suffer from countless nightmares when he slept. Jared was concerned for his younger brother and thus brought him to seek professional help.

### Unforgettable Memory

Jared gave him his first and only pet ball python, Snek, on his 12th birthday.

### Prelude

On his 17th birthday, Kyle and Jared got into a heated argument which ended with Jared kicking Kyle out of their house. He told Kyle to scram off and never look for him again. From then on, Kyle decided to move into Lower Duck Pond with the help of Aunt Maurice. Kyle became an official citizen of Lower Duck Pond on 14 March 2019. Kyle Turd transferred to Richland High School.

## Lower Duck Pond Shenanigans

### 14 March 2019

#### Snake Escape

After moving to his apartment at 33 YeeYee Road, his pet python was very hungry but Kyle was unable to feed her. Snek usually consumes freshly killed animals. Kyle reportedly found out that Snek escaped the enclosure at night, and the last time he found it was at the local duck pond. After getting help from Rupert Murnane and Gwenda Davis, Kyle solved the problem by repairing the back door and getting rats from Herbert's rat farm, owned by Herbert Homely.

#### New tradition

Kyle plans on climbing trees and making rubber ducks with Gwenda Davis every Fridays and Saturdays. He also took pictures with Rupert Murnane at Craggy's Crab Bar.

#### Adogption

After hearing about situation where Robin Simms is putting six Finnish Spitz puppies up for adoption, Kyle immediately adopted Ollie.

### 15 March 2019

#### Noise Complaint

Kyle ranted that a neighbour was drumming loudly at 3 am in the morning. He complained to Lower Duck Pond Sheriff's Office twice but to no avail.

> *"*.. there’s this IDIOT DRUMMER who drums so LOUDLY AT 3 BLOODY AM! My dog, Waheey, is afraid of loud noises and was so terrified!! Plus your drumming is HORRIBLE!! ...*." – Kyle Alex Turd*
>
>

The culprit was discovered to be Owen, the drummer of Local Band. Kyle threatened Owen not to repeat his mistakes or else he will egg his house.

#### Tea Party

Kyle and his Aunt Maurice agreed to host a massive tea party the following Tuesday, where everyone was invited to, with the exception of the local coot Old Blinky.

#### UDP-LDP

The recent progress of beyond the 1980 rift between Upper Duck Pond and Lower Duck Pond causes some controversies. After conversing with Upper Duck Pond’s Mayor, Peyton Jones, Kyle held a petition to free his father from UPD Jail.

#### The New Tenant

Aunt Maurice rented out the Turd's Apartment to 14-year-old Tenant, Jude Twiggy. Kyle did not mind Jude staying in the apartment, so long as someone was there to clear the trash and clean the house.

## Personality

Kyle suffers from bipolar disorder (BPD) and also Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). On one side is a caring, clumsy and fun-loving teenager who dreams big. On the other side, he is an arrogant, cunning and nihilistic manipulator, willing to ditch anything for whatever he set his mind to.

## Pets

1. Ball Python –– "Snek" Turd
2. Samoyed dog –– "Waheey" Turd
3. Finnish Spitz dog –– "Ollie" Turd

## Trivia

1. **Kyle Alexander "Kyle" Turd** was created on 14 March 2019 by Reddit user, u/Reeeeeeeeeeeepostt.
2. **Kyle Alexander "Kyle" Turd**'s birthday was on 14 February 2019, the cake day of creator u/Reeeeeeeeeeeepostt.
3. The surname Turd was inspired by Rupert Murnane's public pooping comments in the subreddit.