Mr. Monkey

Oh, hello there girls and boys.  I was just in the middle of reading my NOOSEPAPER that has me really ROPED INTO A STORY.  It TIES INTO another article ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.  I order THE NEW YORK SLIMES, ha-ha.  But I also like THE CHICAGO TRI-BOO-NE and THE BOSTON GLOB!  Here's what THE EERIE-EDITORS wrote today,  An EERIE-EDI-GORE-RIAL about one of the toy monkeys that's named...

A young girl walked along a sidewalk with a young woman over in south-Chicago, Illinois, back in 1960 one day.  They came to a peddler who had a cart full of hats, caps, ties and bow ties.  "Well, hello there, little one.  Would you care to see what I have in my cart?" the peddler asked the girl, with a smile.  "Hello sir.  Yes I would please" she answered, stopping with the woman.  The girl rummaged through his cart and found a toy monkey.  It had: white fur, a dark-green face and solid yellow eyes, along with a yellow nose.  Its hands and feet were also dark green.  "Wow, a monkey, Mama!" the girl said to the young woman.  "Yes, I see, Winnie sweetheat" her mother replied to her with a smile.  "Ah, yes, his name is Mr. Monkey.  You may have him for 10 cents" the peddler explained to Winnie.  "Please Mama can I have Mr. Monkey?" Winnie begged her mother.  "Oh, of course sweetheart!" Winnie's mother answered her and paid the peddler a dime.

That night, Winnie was asleep in the bedroom of an apartment.  As she slept, Mr. Monkey sat still and quiet on the table next to her lamp that was next to her bed.  The yellow eyes and nose of the toy-monkey changed to a glowing-white suddenly, and it made the high-pitched sounds of a monkey going crazy.  It jumped to the floor, being alive, and Mr. Monkey ran to Winnie's open-bedroom-window.  Looking out of her window, it quietly watched four teenage bullies down, on the sidewalk, walking passed Winnie's apartment-house.  "Hey, fellas, we'll camp out here tonight and surprise Winnie tomorrow whenever she comes outside alone" one bully said to the other ones, explaining.  "Okay, Ross, and I stole liquor from my Old Man for all of us" a second bully told him.  "Nice job Benny!" Ross told him.  "Thanks man" Benny said to him and passed out three bottles of Jim Beam Whiskey to Ross and the other bullies from a trash bag he had.  They opened the bottles and drank some of the liquor.  Benny had a bottle of Jim Beam that he popped open and drank himself.  Ross and Benny went into the alley between Winnie's apartment-house and the second apartment building next to it.  "Hey, Tom, you comin' or what?" Ross called out.  A third bully called back to him, "yeah, Ross!".  "Come on, Hank" Tom said to the fourth bully.  "Alright Tom" Hank said, answering and he and Tom walked into the alleyway together then.

The next day, Winnie ran into her bedroom and saw Mr. Monkey sitting on her bed.  "Mr. Monkey, what are you doing on my bed?" she wondered of it, asking the toy-monkey.  Its eyes and nose were yellow and back to normal.  Winnie went outside and Ross, Benny, Tom and Hank rushed out of the alley to her then.  Tom and Benny caught Winnie by her arms when cars were no where to be seen driving on the street and they drug her into the alleyway.  Ross and Hank ran to her and Ross got right in her face.  "Hey, Winnie, can ya make that horse noise huh you little brat!?" he said to her, rudely asking.  "Ross, leave me alone please!" Winnie begged.  "Awe, go tell Mommy and Daddy you horse!" Ross mocked her, saying.  Tom, Benny and Hank laughed.  Ross flicked-open a switch-blade knife suddenly then.  "I'll make you do it.  It's your name so you can do it ya brat just like a horse" Ross told Winnie, placing the edge of his knife to her forehead.  The toy monkey fell onto his head then, making its crazy high-pitched monkey sounds with its nose and eyes glowing-white a second time.  Ross screamed in pain, surprise and confusion.  Mr. Monkey insanely dug the fingers of its paws into the bully's head, as Ross swung the switch-blade at it, screaming in pain.  Hank, Tom, Benny and Winnie all watched the horrifying scene, as Mr. Mokey's fingers dug deeper into Ross's skull, as the bully lost his balance, falling against a dumpster.  Ross hit his head on the dumpster and his screams went silent.  He was dead and Mr. Monkey ripped its fingers out of the body's skull.  It jumped onto Benny's face, clutching onto it tightly, forcing him to let go of Winnie's arm and scream in horror.

Hank grabbed Ross's switch-blade knife and swung it at the toy monkey, but the crazed living-thing grabbed it and flung it at his stomach, causing Hank to get stabbed in the shadows of the alleyway.  He gasped and fell over, dead.  Going insane, Mr. Monkey bit into Benny's nose with its now shining-white teeth of plastic.  Tom let go of Winnie and screamed in fear, as he and her ran out of the alley.  The bully ran down the street and Winnie crouched down on the stoop of her apartment building, hearing the sounds of ripping, tearing flesh.  Benny's screaming ended along with Mr. Monkey's insane monkey noises.  Winnie hesitantly looked around the corner, seeing Benny's dead body face-down in the alley.  She ran into her apartment-building.  Tom ran back into the shadowy-alleyway and gasped in horror at the scenne of the corpses.  "I'll kill that girl and murder that monkey thing too fellas!!" he said, whispering.  Within the shadows, the gleaming-white nose and eyes of Mr. Monkey shined from in a corner.  The bully glanced over to it and gasped in surprise.  Going crazy, Mr. Monkey sprung out of the shadows and tore into Tom's throat with its plastic-white teeth that were still shining.  Tom screamed loudly, falling, as the living-toy-monkey loudly made its insane and rabid monkey noises.  Fifteen minutes later, two policemen peered down at the corpses of Ross, Benny, Hank and Tom.  "Well, I have my report for the Chief.  An unfortunate fatal gang fight as it appears" one cop told the other.  Meanwhile, Winnie saw the cops from out of her bedroom-window, up, above.  "Thank you Mr. Monkey for saving me!" she hugged the toy monkey.  The nose and eyes of Mr. Monkey were once more the normal yellow and its plastic teeth of white were no longer shining.

Ross, Benny, Hank and Tom should not have TOYED with Winnie, because Mr. Monkey ended having to MONKEY AROUND with them aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!  They had this SLIMY-STORY on the front page in plain BLACK AND FRIGHT hee-hee-hee-hee.  I heard the writers of it really WENT BANANAS heh-heh-heh-heh.