F-ZERO RISING: REVENGX Part 5/Original Story

"Nothing beats a nice cup'a decaf joe after a long day. Turns out the the Japanese brand Georgia is actually a brand of coffee, and not tea. Imagine that! It's great stuff, either way, even if the stories haven't been getting it right. And speaking of stories, boy, am I beat. Racing is one thing, but being in front of the cameras was another thing entirely. I hope I did a good performance, even if I was just a side character. On the bright side, I wasn't important enough to have to read one of those pre-chapter monologues-
  "... Huh? There's another part? This story was only have to have four parts!
  "Whaddaya MEAN it was too lo--
  "*I have to read a monologue too now?!*"Thanks for putting me on the spot! Sigh...
"Uhhh... \*clears throat\* The name's Samurai Goroh, and make no mistake, I'm the biggest and the baddest F-ZERO racer out there on the track. That dang ol' Captain Falcon has spend decades succeeding, and leaving me in his shadow. And I've had a grudge the entire time. Just once I'd like to steal a victory right out from under his smug face to show him who's the REAL champ.
  "But... it looks like things may be different this time. Circumstances really do change after such a long time. Fifteen years later, and Falcon doesn't seem to be quite the same. He's still got the obnoxious charisma of someone born to win, but it doesn't feel like he's rubbing it in anyone's face this time. And on top of that, if I heard correctly... he's not even trying to win. He's trying to save the world.
  "... Maybe I've changed a bit too. Back in the day, I wouldn't think twice of leaving Captain Falcon to the dogs to deal with his own problems, and I'd say it'd serve him right. But this time... is he facing a challenge that he can overcome on his own? Even I can't tell anymore.
  "\*David Hayter voice\* Hrmng....... well, whatever happens from this point on, definitely don't get the wrong idea. I'd never help Falcon or anything like that. Like I said, I'm the rawest mamba-jamba on the F-ZERO circuit, and that will never change!"

  Where we last paused, the wildest, most chaotic Grand Prix the universe has ever seen was heading towards an explosive finale...

  The cavernous walls of the underground supply route beneath Shadow Moses Island echoed with all manner of loud and chaotic noises. The lights of laser weaponry being fired both lit the tunnel with split-second, blinding flashes of green light, while the sharp noise of the laser bolts bounced back and forth between the walls of the tunnel. The bolts of green energy fly through the air in various directions, and it was clear someone from the front was haphazardly firing shots without any semblance of deliberate accuracy.
  A futuristic, high-tech sound resembling the roar of motorcycle engines slowly built up in volume as two new vehicles approached, in brave defiance of the oncoming assault of beams.

  ---Music: Mega Man X2 - Opening Stage (Breis 2011 Remix)---

  Two hover bikes entered the scene, one of them piloted by a blue robot, and the other by a green robot. The two held a steady pace and maintained a tight formation as they attempted to press through the rain of lasers.
  "It looks like our reploid duo have taken the stage!" Mr. Zero exclaimed with excitement, "Famous Maverick Hunter Mega Man X and his unforgettable partner, Nameless Green Maverick Hunter, are attempting to pass the competition to make it to the front of the pack! Both of them are piloting their signature 'Cheval' model Ride Chasers. On those speedy steel skimmers, the pair are pushing serious speeds as they close in on the cluster of racers at the front of the pack!"
  The green biker dude began to do a wheelie on his bike as he gained speed and passed his companion, but his vehicle was struck by a stray bolt and began exuding puffs of flames from the damaged interior. Its speed dragged and he slowly fell behind for a moment, but it didn't matter, for the bike and its rider soon exploded completely.
  "Oh, the humanity!" Bullet Bill cried, "Or, I mean, the reploi...danity?...! Or something! The valiant nameless green reploid charged headfirst into the fray, only to be struck down in his prime! We will never forget the name of this bot, or the courage his displayed today!"
  Mega Man X, devastated by the loss of his most well known and iconic partner, did a wheelie himself for a brief time in order to build up speed. He used the burst of velocity to leap off of his own bike, sending it flying like a torpedo as an improvised weapon. The ride chaser soared right down the lane, prompting the cautious racers--including the Neo Blue Falcon--in front to swerve to dodge it. It pursued its target with the vicious intent of smashing into the back of the first place vehicle, the Fat Shark. However, Don Genie maneuvered to avoid the Ride Chaser as well, and the riderless ride somehow took first place and continued on into the distance.
  The source of the beam assault was none other than Don Genie, standing atop his vehicle on auto-pilot and holding a comically large twenty-barreled laser minigun which had so much kickback from each shot that it made Genie look like he was having a seizure. The target, if one could be called a target amidst such an chaotic cacophony of lights and sounds, was the Neo Blue Falcon. Raiden still stood atop the F-ZERO, and he used his katana to parry away any lasers which would otherwise hit. With Raiden's defense covering it, the nimble vehicle kept up pace with the Fat Shark, but couldn't quite get into dueling range because of the pressure of the rapidly firing weapon. "Get at me bitches!!!!!!" Don Genie shouted antagonistically to his pursuers.
  "Are we going to be able to catch this clown before we run out of track?" Raiden questioned with uncertainty. "Maybe if we didn't have a certain greedy bastard weighing us down..."
  He referred to to Wario, unconscious, and Toad, despondent, who had both been taken into the cockpit and placed into the back seat of the vehicle for safety. "Tito," Captain Falcon called into his comm device, "Are you able to send anyone to extract these two? Raiden and I can't go all out while concerned with their safety."
  "I can do you one better," Axel confidently confirmed, "Just take a look ahead."
  The sound of an actual motorcycle reverberated through the air, coming from the opposite direction. It was Waluigi driving Dante's bike, leaning forward like Mach Rider, as Dante stood on top of the scrawny man's shoulders, maintaining perfect posture. Waluigi and Dante both wore Organization XIII cloaks that Axel had given them which had helped the pair on the cycle to warp through darkness to get ahead of everyone else. They had not only intercepted X's runaway Ride Chaser, but Dante had actually picked up the hover bike, and had begun to spin it around his body like a giant pair of nunchucks, all the while still juggling his guns. "This future bike looks like it can pull off a sick nasty wheelie," he snarked, "Hitting that bastard 'wheelie' hard, that is."
  "Here they come, Dante!" Agent W warned, revving the engine and speeding up the motorcycle. With both vehicles going ludicrous speeds in opposite directions, there was little time for Genie to react.
  Dante swung the Ride Chaser like a baseball bat and smashed Don Genie with a mighty crack, making the shrill Smash Bros home-run bat noise, knocking the man completely off of the Fat Shark, and leaving the auto-piloting vehicle empty as it continued on.

  ---(Music Fade Out)---

  Don Genie flew with ragdoll physics and it looked like he would crash against the front window of the Neo Blue Falcon's cockpit. However, Don Genie revealed a new trick. The back of his suit and cape ripped as two barrels burst out from his back and spewed out flames. He used a bootleg replica of Diddy Kong's rocketbarrel pack to regain stability as well as gain a burst of speed. The quick and unexpected recovery caught everyone off guard, and Genie was able to blast through the air and snatch Waluigi right off of Dante's bike, taking the unsuspecting man with him.

  ---Music: Metal Gear RAY---

  Holding Waluigi in a headlock, he flew through the air at speeds easily matching if not surpassing the F-ZEROs still on the track.
  "I... honestly can't really tell what's happening anymore!" Shy Guy admit with a tone unfittingly positive showmanship for such a decidedly negative assertion, "And our poor cameraman Lakitu is having a conniption fit right now! So... honestly, I guess we'll just watch from here on until things get settled down!"
  "You may be right, my friend," Mr. Zero agreed, "This is a real nail-biter. This is the most dangerous, ruthless, unapologetically extreme showdown I've ever seen in the history of the sport. As we and our audience continue watching through our automatic camera drones, there's little more to do than observe in silent awe of the events transpiring..."
  Dante, who had turned his bike around, opened fire while breakdancing at the same time as driving his cycle. He managed to graze Genie with quite a few bullets, but the jetpack kept the mobster high enough in the air to avoid serious retaliation. By using Waluigi as a shield, he prevented the devil hunter from sending in any decisive shots. As Dante's bike had yet to build up to its full speed, he was unfortunately left behind the other blisteringly fast F-ZEROs.
  "Damn. I dunno if I can make it back to you guys in time to be of any help. I guess it's up to you two to be the heroes, now."
  "Heroes?! Is that what you think you are?!" Don Genie taunted, "What a pointless delusion to have! Grow up, you idiotic man-children! You're no heroes, you're just pathetic racers who got a little too full of themselves."
  "You're kind of a chode, dude," Dante spoke back.
  Captain Falcon didn't want to admit it, but Genie's specific choice of words particularly stung. It was as if Genie had pinpointed all of the self doubt and conflict the captain had held within him for the last fifteen years, and it hurt. It hurt badly. "... Here I am, pretending to be a hero, when I can't save anyone at all," he mumbled to himself, nearly ready to concede.
  Through the camaraderie and understanding they had built up over the race, Raiden could sense the distress in his partner. He hopped off of the Neo Blue Falcon where he had been perched, dashed directly in front of the car, and began running backwards so he could speak face-to-face with the bounty hunter behind the wheel. "Captain... listen. You can't let him get to you. It may seem like this is the worst possible outcome, but after everything we've worked for, this is the best possible opportunity to prove him wrong! Who cares what 'being a hero' means, honestly! Just do what you think is right and go with your heart!"
  "Heart..." Captain Falcon mouthed nearly silently to himself, repeating the word. It brought back memories of days long forgotten. Days when he thought he knew with certainty what F-ZERO racing meant to him. It took fifteen years, but the word and what it meant finally sunk in. The most important requirement for a racer...
  "You're right, Raiden," Falcon smiled.
  "Hahahahaha! Ha! Hi! Hu! He! Ho!" Genie laughed, "Keep your trash anime monologues to yourselves. I have a hostage, now! I win! This is the end! Just give up! "
  "No way..." Falcon spoke, first a whisper to himself, and then a confident boast. "No way. We are *not* not giving up. Not when everyone is counting on us!"
  Raiden turned back around and began dashing forward once more, fully rejuvenated and sprinting down the track faster than ever before. As he ran, he practically produced lightning strikes with each powerful step. "That's the spirit, Captain!" Raiden cheered, "Let's make this guy shut his stupid dummy thicc ass-face and show him what we can do when we work together!"
  "Go right ahead, if you don't mind your little friend here accidentally getting caught in the cross-fire, hahaha!"
  "Forget... about... me!" Waluigi struggled to speak, "Just save... the world!"
  Raiden scowled seriously as he considered Waluigi's pleas. "... Just give me the word, Agent W, and I'll shred Genie like Tony Hawk would have formally shredded a half-pipe when he was still relevant," he proposed, gripping the hilt of his sword tightly and preparing to jump.
  "Don't do it, Raiden," the voice of Toad spoke. Captain Falcon felt a small arm on his shoulder, and turned to see that Toad was trying to get up. The mushroom headed individual was speaking for the first time since reverting to his normal self. Though he sounded slightly disoriented still.
  "Yes?" the driver of the car replied.
  "Open the cockpit. I need to finish this," he spoke sternly, with deep gravity to his voice.
  Captain Falcon hesitated, as the fusion had just attempted to kill him just a few minutes prior, and he wasn't sure what Toad's intentions were. "It's ok, Captain," Tito advised, "You can trust Toad."
  The bounty hunter nodded and opened the glass of the cockpit. Toad jumped onto the nose of the Neo Blue Falcon and stood confidently with iron determination. He swung a tattered and torn red cape around his back and addressed the cyborg running alongside the car he stood upon. "Raiden, toss me your shades, I need to look cool while doing this."
  The request was obliged, and Toad donned a pair of shades, crossed his arms with a steely resolve, and stared down Genie without a hint of doubt in his mind.

  ---Music: One-Punch Man Main Theme---

  Toad's cape flapped dynamically from the wind pressure as he talked. "I'm sick of it. All of it! I'm sick of getting dragged into other people's messes, I'm sick of feeling unhappy all of the time, I'm sick of my friends getting hurt because of stupid bullshit while I stand around doing nothing about it! And you know what, I'm sick of YOU, Don Genie. So think fast, asshole!"
  "Bwha?" Genie spoke, but Toad had already acted so quickly that there was no time to react. Toad had pulled out the fishing rod that his good chum Isabelle had lent him for a weekend fishing trip that was was supposed to go on before all of this F-ZERO nonsense, and he had cast the line so rapidly he had already hooked Waluigi's black cloak and pulled him back to the Neo Blue Falcon to safety.
  "You cheeky little dinglestick!" Don Genie screeched back in anger, quite nearly losing his composure. "Who the fuck do you think you are?!"
  "I'm your prom date, you ugly sack of shit!" Toad taunted back with a smirk.
  "Fuck you!" Genie screamed.
  "Fuck *you*!" Toad spit back.
  "FUCK YOOOOOU!!!!!" Don Genie spouted as he spewed acid out of his mouth.
  "Who in the world writes this dialogue?" Dante questioned earnestly over the radio.
  Waluigi coughed a bit before regaining his composure. "Hey... thanks, bro," he spoke to Toad, "I knew I could count on you. (Eventually.)"
  "What was that last part?"
  "Nothing."
  "Well... bah! It doesn't matter!" Genie brushed off passively. "My Fat Shark has a hefty lead! All I need to do it get back inside of it, and there's no way you'll catch me!"
  The crime king set his rocketbarrel pack to turbo, but before he could blast away, he felt the tug of the fishing hook once more, this time attacked to the back of his shirt. Toad pulled with all of his might, but it was only enough to nearly hold Genie in place, not fully real him back in. "I can't hold him like this for much longer, guys...!!!" Toad grunted as he struggled, "Do something, quick!!!"
  "I don't know if we have any means or tools to reach him while he's that high up... damn!" Captain Falcon lamented with fierce annoyance.
  The unexpected voice of his one and only rival over the voice channel was enough to startle him. "What, giving up already, Falcon?"

  ---Music: Race to Bianca City (Remix)---

  "Whoa, what's this?" Mr. Zero questioned in surprise, breaking the silence the commentators had held, "The Fire Stingray is closing in fast, and has already made it to third place... and it's gaining on the Neo Blue Falcon!"
  "Goroh?!" Falcon exclaimed,
  "Chill for two seconds there Chief," Goroh spoke easy as his F-ZERO pulled up parallel to Falcon's, "Don't you need a hand at a crucial moment like this?"
  Captain Falcon was nearly at a loss for words. "Wait, what? You want to help?"
  "Yeah, man. Take it or leave it. This is a one time offer."
  "Never expected this team up to ever happen! Do you have any plans or something...?
  "Not really. I barely know what's going on," Goroh bemoaned, "But you said you didn't have enough tools to help, so I dunno. Check out the stuff I've got in this pirate chest and see if any of it's useful."
  Goroh presented an extremely large treasure chest and opened it, which caused a golden glow as the lid folded back. Inside of it were all kinds of odd nick-nacks that didn't seem particularly useful. There was a ship in a bottle, a red spring from the Sonic games that was unceremoniously uprooted, a stack of outdated consumer reports magazines, and a foam finger for the Skyland Centurions, among many other strange things.
  "Uh... Goroh, what exactly is this? Why do you have all of this?"
  "I'm a man of many hobbies," the samurai shrugged.
  "What am I supposed to do with any of it...?"
  "Does it look like I fuckin' know? Do you want my help or not?"
  "MY ARMS ARE ABOUT TO FALL OFF," Toad shrieked, still struggling to keep a hold on Genie to keep him from escaping.
  Raiden hopped onto the F-ZERO and helped Toad by grabbing the fishing rod with him as additional support. "Hmm, you're pretty strong, Raiden," Captain Falcon mentioned, "Why don't you give the line a tug and rip him back over here?"
  Raiden shook his head. "With my strength and Genie's rockets, if I give it a yank, the line will snap and he'll get away. The best we can do is hold him in place, and he's too high up to reach from down here!"

  ---(Music Fade Out)---

  Captain Falcon held his chin with his thumb and pointer finger as he rapidly tried to construct a plan. "Hmm...!!" he hummed contently before snapping his finger. "Raiden, Toad: I'm going to give you the opening you need to finish this!"
  "You've got a plan, Captain?" Raiden implored.
  The captain smirked. "If we can't bring Genie lower, then we'll just all have to get a little higher!"
  "*Yooooooo,"*Snoop Dogg approved as he popped his head out from inside of Goroh's treasure chest.
"All my plan needs is this," Captain Falcon announced as he extended his arm out towards the box of treasures.
  Snoop Dogg held up an already lit blunt in response to Falcon's approaching hand. "No, not that," he clarified, reaching past the rap icon to grab the red spring from earlier.

  ---Music: Maximum Overdrive---

  "I'm going to hurl this spring in front of us. When we hit it, I want you two to use that line to spin Genie around," he instructed.
  The two of them nodded in unison.
  "Alright, here we go!" he shouted, tossing the item forward where it planted neatly into the track in front of them.
  As the nose of the F-ZERO touched the spring, it was launched up high into the air. The pair of friends still surfing on top of the machine yanked with just enough force and angle to swirl Genie around to where he was facing back towards them.
  Don Genie's eyes widened in terror upon seeing exactly just what was flying directly towards him.
  "Hang on!!" Captain Falcon shouted as he hit the boosters as hard as he could. At the perfect moment, he tilted the tip of his car upward, literally uppercutting Don Genie in the jaw with his F-ZERO.
*"Neo Blue Shoryu-con!!!"*
  "OOUUAAAAUUGGGHHH!!" Don Genie shouted in pain, completely knocked off guard and open for a finishing blow, yet still clinging to his consciousness bitterly as he gritted his teeth.
  Toad jumped dramatically into the air above Genie. His hand began to to glow with an awesome power, as did his eyes underneath his shades, illuminating the dark lenses with vivid varieties of rainbow oscillations. This was the inner strength which he had held within him all along, and no longer needed to be fused to control it. The gaps between his clenched fingers began leaking light so extreme that it looked as if he were hiding the sun itself within his fist.
  Mr. Zero, Shy Guy, Bullet Bill, the racers, the audience, and Snoop Dogg all watched in silent awe and anxious anticipation as it seemed like the universe went silent as Toad prepared to launch his final strike.

*"Manlet Magnum!!!"*
  Gravity took over, and Toad came down like a meteor, slugging Don Genie with roughly the force of a standard punch from an average adult plumber. Which was, coincidentally, just enough force to finally knock the criminal out cold.

  ---(Music Fade Out)---

  Raiden leapt from the Neo Blue Falcon and caught both of them in his arms to keep them from falling painfully back onto the track, and as he landed he continued running with Toad sitting on one shoulder and Genie's unconscious body slung over the other shoulder. "That was dead on, Captain!!" Raiden praised his partner. "Now, all we have to do is win this race!"
  Dante had finally caught up with the rest of the team. "I can take care of these guys off of your hands so they don't weigh down your car."
  Waluigi and Toad hopped over onto Dante's bike and Raiden handed over Genie, who was drifting in and out of consciousness.
  "By the authority of the United State-Mushroom Kingdom Joint Intelligence Operation, you're under arrest, Don Genie," Dante spoke with a cocky smirk while juggling around his guns, his badge, and an arrest warrant he had rolled up into a scroll-like form.
  "Hey, Captain, toss me Wario, will you?" Dante asked.
  Captain Falcon turned around to look in the back seat, but saw that nobody was there. "Wha...?"

  ---Music: Wario Colosseum---

  The Fat Shark, suddenly piloted by Wario, honked its horns several times antagonistically. "WAAAAHAHAHAHA! I'll be taking that prize money, if you don't mind!! See you later, chumps!!"
  "How in the Ancient Hawaiian hell did he get over there?!" Tito cried out, flabbergasted.
  "Wario, you fucking asshole!" Waluigi shouted, finally fed up.
  Toad just sighed. He knew that some things would just never change.

  ---Music: Crazy Call at Cry (Guitar Arrange)---

  "No good, you guys!" Axel warned, "If Wario crosses that finish line, Genie will still technically win! We can't let that happen!"
  "So... this is it, huh, Captain," Raiden mused with a half-smile, "It's all down to the wire here. Everything has lead up to this."
  Captain Falcon gripped the rubber of his wheel so firmly it made stretch noises. His blood was pumping and his adrenaline was surging. "Let's bring it on home and win this thing."
  Raiden's smile became a full one. "Agreed!"
  Captain Falcon and Raiden looked at one another with unflinching determination and unbreakable spirits, nodded their heads, and blasted down the track as fast as they could.
  "This is incredible, folks!" Mr. Zero virtually screamed, "The finish line is practically within sight! All of the remaining racers are flooring their gas pedals as hard as they can to reach the coveted first place...!!"
  "The Fat Shark is currently in the lead," Bullet Bill announced, "But it looks like one pair of racers in particular are gaining on it fast--wait, what's this?! They have overtaken first place with blazing fast speed! It's Link with his partner Epona, and it seems he has shoved six carrots down her mouth at once!"
  "Unfortunately," Shy Guy reminded, "The carrot boost only lasts for so long, and the timeless pair are rapidly losing speed! The Fat Shark takes the lead again!"
  Mr. Zero jumps in to continue, "Coming up fast are the Neo Blue Falcon, Samus' Starship, and the Great Fox, all racing alongside one another!"
  "I think they are reusing the choreography from the Melee opening for this scene!" Bullet Bill called out.
  "However," Mr. Zero added, "the Great Fox is so large that it is actually destroying the tunnel completely as it burrows through the concrete! This is slowing it down rapidly, and it looks like it's out of the running!"
  Shy Guy winced in reaction to another, separate mishap on the tracks. "Oof. Speaking of doomed teams, looks like Samus' racing partner had a disagreement with her, and blew her ship out of the sky with a mouth laser..."
  "I never expected that partnership to last very long, if I'm honest," Bill admitted.
  Mr. Zero drew attention to the Initial D car. "Now here's a match made in heaven on its way to the front! The Initial D guy and Speed Racer are two veterans with untold experience behind the wheel, so it makes sense they are catching up to even out with the Fat Shark, tied for first!
  "Here come this race's underdogs, Doc Louis and Little Mac!" Shy Guy cheered, "Looks like Mac is no longer just jogging, and is finally sprinting! He's outrunning the straggling F-ZEROs in the back effortlessly, and has already caught up with the two current leaders, also tied for first place!"
  Wario glared at the boxer with a sneer. "What, you think you're hot stuff just because you've got a fast ground game? Is that it? 1-v-1 me on Big Blue and see how far that ground game gets you."
  Little Mac removed his boxing glove to give Wario the middle finger.
  "Don't be rude, Mac," Doc Louis reprimanded, still peddling away on his bike.
  "Here comes the Fire Stingray!" Shy Guy pointed out, "Samurai Goroh and Karate Joe are struggling, but these two tenacious titans refuse to lose, and are keeping pace, making this a four-way tie!!"
  "Look! Over there!!" Bullet Bill cried in excitement, "It's Captain Falcon and Raiden! They are burning rubber like no tomorrow, and have also caught up, turning this into a five-way split!!"
  Mr. Zero was jumping up and down in his seat, pumping his fist in the air. "I can hardly believe this turn of events!! It's neck and neck! Down to the skin of their teeth! Who will come out on top from this legendary, unforgettable Grand Prix?!?!?!"
  As the vehicles all crossed the finish line, the results were obscured by the blinding flash of dozens of cameras to document the true winner.

  ---Music: Finish---

  "WOW! UNBELIEVABLE!!!" Mr. Zero shouted, "That's the race, folks!!! To the human eye, it looks like five courageous co-op crews all crossed the finish line at once!"
  The audience back at the stadium began warping time and space with the volume and tenacity of their cheers, as pretty much everyone had lost their collective shit completely at this point and were screaming their heads off like no tomorrow.
  "I feel like my very heart has stopped, ladies and gentlemen!" Bullet Bill hyped up with showmanship behind his words, "And I don't think it's going to start back up until the winner of this Grand Prix is finally revealed!"
  "I'm right there with you, Bill!" Shy Guy called to his co-host, he himself equal parts excited and anxious, "I can't wait to get the first glimpse of the very nano-second that our newest Grand Prix Champions won this race...!!"
  "It looks like Lakitu is on the scene, now!" Mr. Zero explained, "He's currently waving the photograph in the air to help it develop faster! Once the picture becomes visible, so too will our new victors...!!"
  From a bird's eye view, it looked as if every single racer had crossed the finish line at the exact same time. Lakitu went so far as to take out a magnifying glass to compare, just to see if any one racer just barely inched out over the others to cross the line first.
  Mr. Zero bit his nails tensely all of the automated cameras were on Lakitu, awaiting his final judgment.
  Lakitu pointed his finger at one car, and upon extremely precise inspection, it was indeed clear that this single, dark blue F-ZERO had crossed the finish line before the others.
  "It looks like... it looks like it's...!!"

  ---Music: (Spoilers)---

  The three co-hosts all shouted in synchronization with one another. "IT'S SILVER NEELSEN IN HIS TRUSTY NIGHT THUNDER!!!!!!!!!!"
  "I can hardly believe my own eyes!" Bill narrated, tearing up a bit and sniffing to avoid crying, "After all of these decades, Neelsen is finally going to take home the gold!! Better late than never! What a success story, ladies and gentlemen! Today we have all witnessed what it truly means to keep on fighting and to never give up on your dreams!!"
  Shy Guy too, was presumably watery-eyed beneath his mask. "This is the most unexpected outcome I could have possibly predicted, and yet... it's the most inspiring outcome I can possibly fathom! Today, in front of crowds of billions upon billions of people, we're seeing one man's life long dream realized at long last!"
  "Well, technically, it's two people's, not just one's!" Mr. Zero corrected, "And speaking of, we've still yet to meet Silver Neelsen's mysterious partner! We'll have to find out the answer to that question after this commercial break!"

  ---Music: Like an Old Dream---

  Captain Falcon and Raiden had already parked and settled down, and the two of them began laughing whole-heartedly. They were surrounded by Waluigi, Dante, Fox, Falco, Ghost Rider, Ghost Rider's pet turtle, Wario (who was in handcuffs and in the custody of Ghost Rider), and Toad... and you can bet that if Tito and Axel weren't back at HQ, they'd be right their with them. Each and every one of them had worked together to on this. After everything they had been through, they had succeeded in their mission and saved the day.
  Goroh and Joe approached the two. The karate king was in rather decent spirits, but Goroh was visibly depressed. "I guess everything worked out for you guys, huh."
  "Why so glum, Goroh?" Falcon asked.
  Goroh took a deep breath and sighed. "I get that you're like, a changed man or whatever. And that you're just an all-around decent guy, who isn't a glory hog. And I can accept that. I'm downright cool with it, actually! But all these years, I wasn't racing specifically because I wanted to beat you. I just... wanted to be recognized at least once, you know? I wanted to know what it felt like to hear everyone cheering for me..."
  Captain Falcon couldn't help but empathize with his former rival. "But, hey. We couldn't have pulled this off without your help. So get on over here, you two, and enjoy the celebration with us."
  Goroh, still not fully content, appreciated the gesture, so he and Joe joined in with the cheering and entered the mosh pit of secret agents and mercenaries.

  Mr. Zero had at this point taken the controls of their hovering observation pod and brought it back down to land on the ground, finally putting it at rest after such a long and eventful race. He had a great face for cameras, so seeing a TV crew following and recording him felt natural. "From the special F-ZERO GP venue, we're broadcasting an interview with the Grand Prix Champions," Mr. Zero asserted with a toothy, charismatic smile as he stepped out of their vehicle, "And this will be a first for everyone, including me: we don't know who Silver Neelsen's partner in this race was! So the identity of one of the champions is a complete mystery to all!"
  "As for the mystery being revealed, well, there's no time like the present!" holding a portable microphone in his hand as he approached the Night Thunder. "Let's lift up the cockpit and take a look at who is behind the most dynamic, breathtaking victory in racing history...!!"
  The glass of the cockpit slid open slowly as everyone waited eagerly to see the second pilot behind the victory. Mr. Zero held his microphone outwards to present it in front of the mouth of the one piloting the vehicle. "Go ahead, there, champion! Tell us your name!"

  ---Music: Come, Join Us---

  "I am Wrys, a humble priest. I cannot fight, but this staff I carry can heal your wounded. Take me with you, and you'll be very glad you did!" a cheerful, aged, bald man in blue robes answered politely.
  "Wow! Incredible!" Mr. Zero spoke in happy disbelief, "Well, Wrys, can you tell us what you're thinking right now, at this exact moment?"
  "Well," Wrys began, "I've been driving for an awfully long time now, and I've just now found a place to park! I've had trouble finding a spot in places like Manhattan before, but this was ridiculous!"
  Shy Guy held out his microphone as well, prepared to ask his own questions. "So, Wrys, how does it feel having taken part in the greatest race in galactic history?"
  "There was a race?" the elderly man repeated for clarity, "I suppose my good chum Silver did mention something about that... but, anyway! Oh boy! A race! My grandson Douglas loves races! Who won?"

  ---Music: Initial D Special Stage Sega Original Tracks - Victory 1---

  "You did!" Bullet Bill explained happily, "What are your plans with the huge sum of space credits in prize money?"
  "Oh, I won money! How splendid! I'm not one for material wealth... but, if I recall, my grandson had a series of racing 'video games,' as they are called, that he really loved to play. But apparently they stopped making more of those games. So I think I'll use all that money to make a new game in the series! I forget, what was the series' name again... was it 'Douglas Kart?' Or something of the sort. I'll make a new 'Douglas Kart!' 'Douglas Kart 8 Dougluxe!'"
  The crew members facilitating the race all carried a gigantic golden trophy, shaped like the F-ZERO TV logo, over to Wrys and placed it in front of the Night Thunder.
  Mr. Zero excitedly shook both of their hands. "Congratulations, Silver Neelsen and Wrys, on your stunning victory! This F-ZERO Grand Prix Trophy is now yours, along with the one billion space credits in prize money!"

  ---(Music End)---

  They looked inside the back seat of the car to see where Silver Neelsen himself was. However, the aged F-ZERO racer was nowhere to be found.
  Shy Guy was the first to question the situation. "Uhhh... Wrys? Where exactly is Silver Neelsen?"
  "Oh, Silver? He's back at his house, I believe. He asked me to pick up some groceries for him, but I suppose I got lost. Can you kind folks please tell me where the nearest Piggly Wiggly is, by chance?"
  The three commentators all traded confused glances at each other. "It's, uh... that way," Mr. Zero explained.
  "Ah!" Wrys chuckled cheerfully, "Thank you so much, young man!"
  The aged curate revved the engine of the Night Thunder and speed away off into the distance in pursuit of the weekly groceries.
  Everyone present was completely silent as they processed the situation. Eventually, a single member of the audience spoke. "Is that it?" the muffled voice of Mario echoed from a distant corner of the stands.

  *To Be Continued...*