Lady Helinski’s Lover

A tale about the Snake Tong's Bad Batch undertaking a mission involving upper-class mingling and seducing magi's daughters.

## **Lady Helinski’s Lover**

**8:02 PM**

**Unit 9 Quarters**

**31 hours before Operation “Lady Helinski’s Lover”**

The Bad Batch has met their most harrowing challenge yet. They have broken into heavily fortified workshops and strongholds, fought countless 1st class magi with 1st rate spells, overcame certain doom, but this job presented to them by the higher ups an hour ago trumps all of these past achievements.

*”Covenant of Senelis giant Stanislav Helinski has made many enemies throughout Europe, in and out of the Arcane Order as a whole. He boasts that he has no weaknesses. But that is of course bullshit. Lady Katarzyna Helinski, his ever sheltered daughter, second child, yet beloved enough to not be seen as a threat to the Helinski heir, will be making a rare appearance at a party in the Polish city of Kraków. And we’re invited.”*

Cap explained as the squad gathered around the living room. He had uncertainty written all over his face, which everyone else in the room quickly picked up.

*”This isn’t just the average abduction job, isn’t it?”*

Courier said, already imagining the winding magical security and hired personnel roaming the venue of the party.

*”Thing is, not even Intel’s got much info on her so we don’t really know what Katarzyna looks like, let alone what she’s capable of. She might not be the heir, but she is definitely still capable of magic if her daddy wants to keep her safe.”*

*”That, or she is bad at it and is just some dainty flower that Helinski wants to hide away in his secret garden.”*

Mirror interjected, already imagining a dainty young woman who had everything done for her by beautiful butlers and maids, dressed in fancy noblewoman's clothes inside her large mage clan mansion.

*”So we’ll have to conduct an infiltration and gather intelligence first. “*

*”Yep, we’ll leave the area intel to you and Monika, Clara. We have info on the town and the venue already, but we’ll have to do another sweep once we get there.”*

Both Grim and Crosshair nodded in acknowledgement, sharing the same cool and stoic demeanor.

*”We got to have someone inside the party, find Lady Helinski, earn her trust and take her somewhere private,  and well, I’m pretty sure none of us ever seduced an Order Aristocrat  before.”*

Isa said, imagining herself awkwardly trying to hit on a woman half her height that’s probably intimidated or annoyed at her lack of “lady-like manners” at a formal party.

*”Yeah. Normally I’d be all volunteering for this and gaining the trust of a lady, but those stuck-up types aren’t really my expertise.”*

*”Same. They’re not the type of woman I’d be willing to go after.”*

Cap and Mirror shared a nod in a sage manner.

*”I have experience in those formal events in the past, as well as the types of women that attend them. I am confident that I can recall as many details as possible during my time with the Order.”*

Grim suddenly interjected.

*”Oh? Can you teach me how to catch the attention of an aristocrat mage? I might have to be the one to be our insider in the party, after all.”*

*”Very well. Let us create the scenario.”*

Cap and Grim stood up at the center of the living room. With her ever stoic expression, she gazed at Cap and gave a single request in her calm voice.

*”Seduce me.”*

*”Wat. You?”*

Cap was dumbfounded at the casual delivery of such a heavy request. The rest of the Batch watched in morbid curiosity at what was about to unfurl before them.

*”Seduce me.”*

*”Monika, I’m not gonna-”*

Cap scratched the back of his head and slowly backed away, a response that had the opposite effect of what he wanted Monika to do.

*”Seduce me!”*

She yelled, catching everyone off-guard, except for Mirror who found the domineering side to their usually calm and collected mage very exciting, to say the least.

*”F-fine. Right. Then-”*

Cap took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and shifted his expression of concern into that of a suave and confident man. He slowly approached Monika and lifted up her chin with his hand as he intensely gazed at her unflinching eyes behind those crystalline glasses.

*”Good evening, my lady. The moon looks beautiful tonight, second only to-”*

This attempt of seduction only resulted in Cap’s face being blasted by a low-powered Gandr shot that sent him stumbling backwards.

*”I am not one of these basic bitches. I’m a Woman of Arcane Aristocracy! I prefer my men to be intellectual, powerful! You want to be my lover? You have to earn it! Seduce me!”*

Another pitch black bullet of curses fired from Grim’s index finger, which Cap barely dodged. With a devious grin, Mirror reflected the Gandr shot back with a cheeky little spell of her own, which struck Cap right in the tuckus.

*”Okay. As much as I joke about liking women who can just straight up kill me, I don’t think this will work…”*

The gothic church spires loom overhead in the heart of Kraków, above a patchwork of Romanesque buildings of finely painted brick . The winding Vistula river nearby snakes past the bars and cafés of the Podgórze district, with one particular building catching the attention of the common tourist visiting the city. café Blavatsky, a townhouse said to have been used by the Madame of the world of the magi and the occult in her time, was now a bustling café for the intellectual upper-class, including the many members of the Senelis Covenant. The warm glow of its lavishly decorated interior proved a welcome refuge from the cold January winds at night. Photos of Helena Blavatsky and her fellow Theosophists lined the halls and dining areas of the café, complemented by the assorted relics and decorations of Blavatsky’s past, old enchanted items past their prime, empty of the overflowing mana that surged their structures, from ornate wooden canes to richly crafted swords, to the more modest leather-bound spell tomes written in elaborate codes and ciphers.

Tonight was a festive occasion, Lord Stanislav Helinski celebrated their victory over the Covenant of the Rus’, a heated auction over ancient and mana-ripe land in Eastern Europe. Such triumph merited a celebration fit for nobility. Men and women from the Order came far and wide, sporting clothing such as pants that did not cost lower than 1000 Euros, their arrivals announced by the majordomo of the café. Wine flowed like a river as their glasses remained filled. The Kitchen staff of the café churned out dish after dish as if they were drawing ingredients from a god’s infinite food stock.

Amidst the crowd of aristocracy, one man walked in with a plan. No, a woman. Cleverly disguised in a rich black and gold ceremonial dress akin to that of a man in the military, complete with gold and brass buttons, epaulets, braids, and lanyards, a modification of her old Rhine uniform. Grim blended in with the sea of upper-class magi. Her voice altered to fit the deep baritone, her figure shaped to be a wide shouldered, broad chested man of iron. Locating Lady Helinski was paramount, and Grim was the only one with proper experience in these events.

Practiced small talk, as forced as it was, proved effective. A compliment here, a chuckle at another person’s joke there, and a civil discussion on the commodification of Alchemy to the “Commoner and mud-blooded magi” of the covenants led Monika, disguised as upcoming Covenant of the Rhine mage Klaus Baumer, to the right direction. Several fingers pointed to the same person, Lady Katarzyna Helinski, a woman around her late twenties to early thirties, tall, with an aura of calming elegance around her, a woman who dedicated her life to quiet study as an alchemist as her father prepared her for marriage.

She sat at a booth drinking coffee and spoke to a potential suitor, a friend of her father’s no doubt, judging from the fact that he looked old enough to be the Lady’s father. Katarzyna was a maiden whose skin was as pale as the snow-kissed winter, her hair as fine as soft-spun silver. Her lips, red as a sun-drenched dawn, curled into a polite smile as she listened to the man go on and on about his achievements. Her eyes were closed the entire time they were conversing, and one would think she would be bored to sleep by the man, if not for the fact that the Lady Helinski was blind, one reason why her father was so protective. But today was different, it seems. On this special occasion, her father allowed her to mingle with the guests at the party in search of that potential marriage candidate.

It took a few minutes of making her way through the other guests and waiting for their talks to end before “Klaus” sat across the booth where Lady Helinski stayed after her previous conversation ended and the man left to boast about their crucial contributions to their victory over the Rus’ at the land auction to other ladies at the party.

*”Lady Katarzyna Helinski?”*

*”Yes. That would be me. Who do I have the pleasure of talking to?”*

She giggled softly with a blush, intrigued by Monika’s confident, but not too overbearing tone. Despite his deep voice, it had a softness to it that put her at ease, something the Monika picked up from listening to all those “Boyfriend Role Play Drama CDs” certain Sneks shared with her.

*”My name is Klaus Baumer, of the Köln Baumers. It is a pleasure to meet and speak with the jewel of the Helinskis. I hope that old man wasn’t boring you to death with his drivel.”*

*”Haha. Not at all. His story of… not allowing the other auctioneers to overpower him is… interesting.”*

*”As courteous as you are charming, my Lady.”*

”I would say the same for you, Mr. Baumer.”

*”Please, call me Klaus.”*

The night went on with the two sharing what seemed like endless cups of coffee as they conversed at that booth. One particular interest that “Klaus” found from Lady Helinski was that of Astromancy combined with Alchemy. It was a rather niche topic for many magi, who preferred more… practical methods of utilizing the alchemical arts, but Monika was the type to read up on a lot of magical topics, to the point where she could converse about them all day.

*”-Like the ascended metals of the Children of Knowledge that even the Arcane Order is not fully knowledgeable about. One cultivates and ascends the very being of a material. Lunargent comes to mind when I look at you, Lady Helinski. Like a sword of such silver cuts through spirits, something about you cuts deep into my soul. You have left me enchanted.”*

*”Please, Klaus. You flatter me so.”*

*”I’d rather have my death arrive than pay you empty flattery, my lady. What I say is true.”*

From hundreds of meters away, positioned at a sniping nest, Crosshair felt nauseous at the cheesy lines Monika has been spouting for the past few hours.

*”Alright, Klaus. Prove that what you all said wasn’t just a rehearsed, shallow way to relate to my interests. There is an excellent view in the top room of the café, an observatory if you will. Please escort me and describe to me the heavens. I want to see the poetic side.”*

A change finally arrived. “Klaus” politely took the hand of the blind beauty as he escorted her upstairs. Crosshair’s scope trained at the upper section of the café, a window floor filled with clear windows, and a glass dome on the ceiling that allowed the astral light of the heavens and the moon beam down upon the two young magi that made there way there. A record of a classical piece was playing on a nearby vinyl turntable, a glorious piece of brass and bells that echoed throughout the room as Klaus gazed at the vast heavens through the glass dome.

*”Have you heard of Tchaikovsky, Klaus?”*

Lady Helinski asked as she let go of Klaus’ hand, tapping at the floor with her cane, and walked towards the nearby window, large enough to cover a quarter of that side of the wall. A grand view of the city streets below would have welcomed her if she could see.

*”1812 Overture. Yes, I have heard of his work. This particular piece is one of his more, shall we say, grander pieces. It always invokes this feeling of glory within one’s heart, at least for me.*

*”It invokes a feeling of victory, no?”*

*”Exactly, my lady.”*

Monika prepares to fire her tranquilizer dart disguised as the many buttons on her coat, aimed straight for the Lady’s neck. However, the moment she is about to fire, the voice of Mirror echoes in her mind.

*「GRIM, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. THE REAL KATARZYNA ISN’T THERE! SHE’S A DECOY!」*

”*I’m sorry, Klaus. But you’re going to have to come with me. I have some questions that need answers.”*

The blind woman suddenly launched herself like a coiled spring at Monika, six radiant blades appearing floating beside her, leaving a trail of bright blue light in her wake. On instinct, Monika fired her Plumblossom dart as she leapt to the side, drawing her saber from her pocket. The spinning wall of blades that floated and spun around “Lady Helinski” sliced the dart into pieces. Sniper shots from Crosshair synchronized with the cannon shots of the music, shots that were also sliced by the blades. Monika could barely cast a spell as the dervish of mana-swords descended upon her. Six swords of overwhelming power kept her on the defensive as her reinforced saber clashed with multiple blades at the same time. Her cold discipline on defense kept her from falling to the ballet of violence before her. The enemy’s elegant movements contrasted with this berserk-rage that came with every strike. Death waited for the slightest lapse of concentration. Monika kept backing up and deflecting as many blows as she could. Using short-cast curses and telekinesis on furniture and clutter on the room, Monika created some sort of distance, the assault remained relentless.

*「Shattering that window. Get out of there!」*

Crosshair’s voice echoed this time as a bullet fully fractured the window. Channeling as much mana as possible, Monika leapt out of the window and into the streets of Kraków, pedestrians ogled in surprise as a man landed from a multi-story building without even flinching when he landed. Monika ran into the cover of night as “Lady Helinski” watched from above. Her blades disappeared into her dress.

*”Auf Wiedersehen, Klaus. Shame. He was really a treat to talk to. Handsome too.”*

*「Don’t tell me you actually like that guy. I fell asleep listening to both of you talk about alchemy the whole time. You let him go too.」*

The voice of an annoyed woman echoed within the mind of the deadly swordswoman as the figure of “Klaus” disappeared into the darkness.

*”Heart wants what the heart wants, Lunika. Besides, that swordplay was textbook Covenant of the Rhine. So we have some leads.”*