Fun Song Factory 2

**Fun Song Factory 2 (1996)** is a UK VHS release by Tempo Pre-School on 5th January 1996. It was filmed at the Chicken Shed Theatre in North London.

## Presenters

* Dave Benson Phillips
* Michelle Durler
* Iain Lauchlan

## Guests and Others

* Postman Pat
* SuperTed
* Rupert Bear
* The Audience

## Children

* Chris Foley
* Marianne Lynch
* Julian Triandaffylou
* Natalie Welsh
* Christian Morrall
* Jo Jo Morrall

## Songs

1. Fun Song Factory Opening Theme
2. We All Clap Hands Together
3. Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush
4. This Old Man
5. Be Happy
6. Two Little Dickie Birds
7. Slowly, Slowly
8. This Little Piggy
9. Oranges and Lemons
10. Doctor Foster
11. Little Miss Muffet
12. Jack and Jill
13. Hey Diddle Diddle
14. Old King Cole
15. London Bridge is Falling Down
16. Horsey Horsey
17. Down at the Station
18. I'm Driving in My Car
19. The Runaway Train
20. Postman Pat
21. I'm a Little Teapot
22. Pat a Cake, Pat a Cake
23. Jelly on a Plate
24. Five Chocolate Eclairs
25. Five Currant Buns
26. The Teddy Bears' Picnic
27. Row, Row, Row Your Boat
28. A Sailor Went to Sea, Sea, Sea
29. The Big Ship Sails
30. Ten in a Bed
31. Fun Song Factory Closing Theme

## Transcript

The whistle’s blowing loudly

Another day begins

Inside the Fun Song Factory

With lots of songs to sing.

Fun Song, Fun Song

Fun Song Factory

There’s nowhere else quite like it

It’s the Fun Song Factory

Songs to sing along with

Sorts of things to do

Just ask the Fun Song Factory

To play each one for you

Fun Song, Fun Song

Fun Song Factory

There’s nowhere else quite like it

It’s the Fun Song Factory

Fun Song, Fun Song

Fun Song Factory

There’s nowhere else quite like it

It’s the Fun Song Factory.

**Iain:** Yeah. Thank you,

We all clap hands together

We all clap hands together

We all clap hands together

As we all like to do

**Iain:**

We stamp our feet together

We stamp our feet together

We stamp our feet together

As we all like to do

**Iain:**

We stretch our arms together

We stretch our arms together

We stretch our arms together

As we all like to do

**Iain:**

We nod our heads together

We nod our heads together

We nod our heads together

As we all like to do

**Iain:**

We shake ourselves together

We shake ourselves together

We shake ourselves together

As we all like to do

**Iain:**

We do it all together – clap hands, stamp feet, stretch arms, nod head, shake ourselves together

We do it all together – clap hands, stamp feet, stretch arms, nod head, shake ourselves together

We do it all together – clap hands, stamp feet, stretch arms, nod head, shake ourselves together

As we all like to do

**Iain:**

Here we go round the mulberry bush

The mulberry bush

The mulberry bush

Here we go round the mulberry bush

On a cold and frosty morning

**Iain:**

This is the way we wash our face

Wash our face

Wash our face

This is the way we wash our face

On a cold and frosty morning

**Iain:**

This is the way we brush our hair

Brush our hair

Brush our hair

This is the way we brush our hair

On a cold and frosty morning

**Iain:**

This is the way we put on our clothes,

Put on our clothes,

Put on our clothes.

This is the way we put on our clothes

On a cold and frosty morning.

**Iain:**

This is the way we eat our toast,

Eat our toast,

Eat our toast.

This is the way we eat our toast

On a cold and frosty morning.

**Iain:**

This is the way we brush our teeth

Brush our teeth

Brush our teeth

This is the way we brush our teeth

**Iain:** Everyone.

On a cold and frosty morning

Here we go round the mulberry bush

The mulberry bush

The mulberry bush

Here we go round the mulberry bush

On a cold and frosty morning

**Iain:**

This old man, he played one,

He played knick-knack on my drum;

With a knick-knack paddywhack,

Give the dog a bone,

This old man came rolling home.

**Iain:**

This old man, he played two,

He played knick-knack on my shoe;

With a knick-knack paddywhack,

Give the dog a bone,

This old man came rolling home.

**Iain:**

This old man, he played three,

He played knick-knack on my knee;

With a knick-knack paddywhack,

Give the dog a bone,

This old man came rolling home.

**Iain:**

This old man, he played four,

He played knick-knack on my door;

With a knick-knack paddywhack,

Give the dog a bone,

This old man came rolling home.

**Iain:**

This old man, he played five,

He played knick-knack on my hive;

With a knick-knack paddywhack,

Give the dog a bone,

This old man came rolling home.

**Iain:**

This old man, he played six,

He played knick-knack on my sticks.

With a knick-knack paddywhack,

Give the dog a bone,

This old man came rolling home.

**Iain:**

This old man, he played seven,

He played knick-knack up to heaven.

With a knick-knack paddywhack,

Give the dog a bone,

This old man came rolling home.

**Iain:**

This old man, he played eight,

He played knick-knack on my gate.

With a knick-knack paddywhack,

Give the dog a bone,

This old man came rolling home.

**Iain:**

This old man, he played nine,

He played knick-knack on my line,

Give the dog a bone,

This old man came rolling home.

**Iain:**

This old man, he played ten,

He played knick-knack on my hen.

With a knick-knack paddywhack,

Give the dog a bone,

This old man came rolling home.

When we're happy this is what we do

When we're happy we sing for you

So come on, try it too

Be happy

Be happy and play on the drum

Be happy come on everyone

Play it loud and to the beat

And bounce up and down in your seat

Be happy.

**Iain:**

When I'm happy this is what I do

When I'm happy I sing for you

So come on, try it too

Be happy

Be happy and play the trombone

Be happy come on everyone

Play it high and play it low

And move the slide to and fro

Be happy.

**Michelle:**

When we're happy this is what we do

When we're happy we sing for you

So come on, try it too

Be happy

Be happy and play violin

Be happy come on all join in

Put the bow across the strings

And dance when the music begins

Be happy.

Be happy

Be happy.

**Both:** Yay!

Two little dicky birds sitting on a wall

One called Peter, the other called Paul

Fly away, Peter, fly away, Paul

Come back, Peter, come back, Paul

**Dave:**

Two little dicky birds sitting on a wall

One called Peter, the other called Paul

Fly away, Peter, fly away, Paul

Come back, Peter, come back, Paul.

Slowly, slowly, very slowly

Creeps the garden snail.

Slowly, slowly, very slowly

Up the wooden rail.

Quickly, quickly, very quickly

Runs the little mouse.

Quickly, quickly, very quickly

Round about your house.

**Michelle:**

Slowly, slowly, very slowly

Creeps the garden snail.

Slowly, slowly, very slowly

Up the wooden rail.

Quickly, quickly, very quickly

Runs the little mouse.

Quickly, quickly, very quickly

Round about your house.

**Dave:**

This little piggy went to market,

This little piggy stayed at home,

This little piggy had roast beef,

This little piggy had none.

And the last little piggy went...

"Wee wee wee wee" all the way home...

**Michelle:**

This little piggy went to market,

This little piggy stayed at home,

This little piggy had roast beef,

This little piggy had none.

But this little piggy went...

"Wee wee wee wee" all the way home...

Oranges and lemons

Say the bells of St. Clement's

You owe me five farthings

Say the bells of St. Martin's

When will you pay me?

Say the bells of Old Bailey

When I grow rich

Say the bells of Shoreditch

When will that be?

Say the bells of Stepney

I'm sure I don't know

Says the great bell of Bow.

Doctor Foster went to Gloucester

In a shower of rain,

He stepped in a puddle,

Right up to his middle,

And never went there again.

No he never went there

He never went there

He never went there again.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey

Down came a spider who sat down beside her

And frightened Miss Muffet away

**Michelle:**

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey

Down came a spider who sat down beside her

And frightened Miss Muffet away

**Iain:**

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water

Jack fell down and broke his crown

And Jill came tumbling after

**Iain:**

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water

Jack fell down and broke his crown

And Jill came tumbling after

**Dave:**

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle,

The cow jumped over the moon.

The little dog laughed to see such fun

And the dish ran away with the spoon!

**Dave:** Altogether now!

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle,

The cow jumped over the moon.

The little dog laughed to see such fun

And the dish ran away with the spoon!

Old King Cole

Was a merry old soul,

And a merry old soul was he.

He called for his pipe,

And he called for his bowl,

And he called for his fiddlers three!

Now every fiddler, had a very fine fiddle,

And a very fine fiddle had he.

Yes Old King Cole

Was a merry old soul,

And a merry old soul was he.

**Michelle:**

Old King Cole

Was a merry old soul,

And a merry old soul was he.

He called for his pipe,

And he called for his bowl,

And he called for his fiddlers three!

Now every fiddler, had a very fine fiddle, (**Dave:**

And a very fine fiddle had he. (**Dave:**

Yes Old King Cole

Was a merry old soul,

And a merry old soul was he. (**Dave:**

London Bridge is falling down,

Falling down, falling down,

London Bridge is falling down,

My fair Lady.

Build it up with iron and steel,

Iron and steel, iron and steel,

Build it up with iron and steel,

My fair Lady.

Iron and steel will bend and bow,

Bend and bow, bend and bow,

Iron and steel will bend and bow,

My fair Lady.

Build it up with wood and clay,

Wood and clay, wood and clay,

Build it up with wood and clay,

My fair Lady.

Wood and clay will wash away,

Wash away, wash away,

Wood and clay will wash away,

My fair Lady.

Build it up with silver and gold,

Silver and gold, silver and gold,

Build it up with silver and gold,

My fair Lady.

Silver and gold will be stolen away,

Stolen away, stolen away,

Silver and gold will be stolen away,

My fair Lady.

London Bridge is falling down,

Falling down, falling down,

London Bridge is falling down,

My fair Lady.

**Michelle:** Bye.

Horsey, horsey don't you stop

Just let your feet go clippety clop,

Your tail goes swish and the wheels go round,

Giddy up, we're homeward bound.

Horsey horsey on your way

We've done the journey many a day

Your tail goes swish and the wheels go round,

Giddy up, we're homeward bound.

**Neddy:** We ain't in a hustle

We ain't in a bustle

Don't go tearing up the road

We ain't in a hurry

We ain't in a flurry

And we ain't got a very heavy load

**Dave:**

Horsey, horsey don't you stop

Just let your feet go clippety clop,

Your tail goes swish and the wheels go round,

Giddy up, we're homeward bound.

Down at the station, early in the morning

See the little puffer trains all in a row

See the engine driver pull the little handle

Choo choo choo and off we go.

**Michelle:**

Down at the farmyard, early in the morning

See all the tractors waiting in the barn

See the farmer pull the little lever

Chug chug chug and off we go.

**Dave:**

Down at the airport, early in the morning

See the little aeroplanes all in a row

Pilots at the engine pull the little joystick

Neeaow and off we go.

**Iain:**

Down at the harbour, early in the morning

See the little submarines all in a row

Pilots at the engine pull the little lever

Glug glug glug and down we go.

I'm driving in my car

I'm driving in my car

Beep, toot, peep, toot

I'm driving in my car.

**Iain:**

I'm driving very fast

I'm driving very fast

Beep, toot, peep, toot

I'm driving very fast.

**Michelle:**

I'm driving very slow

I'm driving very slow

Beep, toot, peep, toot

I'm driving very slow.

**Dave:**

The lights have turned to red

The lights have turned to red

Beep, toot, peep, toot

So I have to stop the car.

**Dave:**

The lights have turned to green

The lights have turned to green

Beep, toot, peep, toot

So I can go again.

**Iain:**

The runaway train came down the track and she blew, whoo whoo

The runaway train came down the track and she blew, whoo whoo

The runaway train came down the track

The whistle wide and her throttle back

And she blew, blew, blew, blew, blew.

**Dave:**

The engineer said the train must halt and she blew, whoo whoo

The engineer said the train must halt and she blew, whoo whoo

The engineer said the train must halt

He said it was all the fireman's fault

And she blew, blew, blew, blew, blew.

**Michelle:**

The fireman said he rang the bell and she blew, whoo whoo

The fireman said he rang the bell and she blew, whoo whoo

The fireman said he rang the bell

The engineer said "It was just as well"

And she blew, blew, blew, blew, blew.

The runaway train came down the track and she blew, whoo whoo

The runaway train came down the track and she blew, whoo whoo

The runaway train came the track

The whistle wide and her throttle back

And she blew, blew, blew, blew, blew, whoo whoo

And she blew, blew, blew, blew, blew, whoo whoo

And she blew, blew, blew, blew, blew, whoo whoo, whoo whoo.

Postman Pat. Postman Pat. Postman Pat and his black and white cat.

Early in the morning, just as day is dawning, Pat puts all his post bags in his van.

Postman Pat. Postman Pat. Postman Pat and his black and white cat.

All the birds are singing, the day is just beginning. Pat feels he's a very happy man.

Everybody knows his bright red van, all his friends will smile as he waves to greet them,

Maybe, you can never be sure, there'll be knock (knock knock) Ring (ding dong). Letters through your door.

Postman Pat. Postman Pat. Postman Pat and his black and white cat.

All the birds are singing, and the day is just beginning. Pat feels he's a very happy man.

I'm a little teapot, short and stout

Here's my handle, here's my spout

When the kettle's boiling, hear me shout

Tip me up and pour me out.

**Michelle:**

I'm a little teapot, short and stout

Here's my handle, here's my spout

When the kettle's boiling, hear me shout

Tip me up and pour me out.

**Michelle:** Pat-a-cake! Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man,

Bake me a cake, as fast as you can;

Pat it, prick it, and mark it with B,

And put it in the oven for baby and me.

**Iain:**

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man,

Bake me a cake, as fast as you can;

Pat it, prick it, and mark it with B,

And put it in the oven for baby and me.

**Iain:** Well done everybody.

**Michelle:**

Jelly on a plate, jelly on a plate

Wibble wobble, wibble wobble, jelly on a plate

**Dave:**

Jelly on a plate, jelly on a plate

Wibble wobble, wibble wobble, jelly on a plate

**Michelle:**

5 chocolate eclairs

5 chocolate eclairs

5 chocolate eclairs are sitting on a plate.

**Michelle:**

4 chocolate eclairs

4 chocolate eclairs

4 chocolate eclairs are sitting on a plate.

**Michelle:**

3 chocolate eclairs

3 chocolate eclairs

3 chocolate eclairs are sitting on a plate.

**Michelle:**

2 chocolate eclairs

2 chocolate eclairs

2 chocolate eclairs are sitting on a plate.

**Michelle:**

1 chocolate eclair

1 chocolate eclair

1 chocolate eclair is sitting on a plate.

Five currant buns in a baker's shop.

Round and fat with a cherry on the top,

Along came Julian with a penny one day,

Bought a currant bun and took it away.

**Iain:**

Four currant buns in a baker's shop.

Round and fat with a cherry on the top,

Along came Natalie with a penny one day,

Bought a currant bun and took it away.

**Iain:**

Three currant buns in a baker's shop.

Round and fat with a cherry on the top,

Along came Chris with a penny one day,

Bought a currant bun and took it away.

**Iain:**

Two currant buns in a baker's shop.

Round and fat with a cherry on the top,

Along came Marianne with a penny one day,

Bought a currant bun and took it away.

**Iain:**

One currant bun in a baker's shop.

Round and fat with a cherry on the top,

Along came Christian with a penny one day,

Bought a currant bun and took it away.

**Iain:** And Jo Jo as well, oh, I'm bunless.

If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise

If you go down to the woods today, you'd better go in disguise

For every bear that ever there was

Will gather there for certain because

Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic

Every teddy bear who's been good is sure of a treat today

There's lots of marvelous things to eat and wonderful games to play

Beneath the trees where nobody sees

They'll hide and seek as long as they please

That's the way the teddy bears have their picnic

Picnic time for teddy bears

The little teddy bears are having a lovely time today

Watch them, catch them unawares

And see them picnic on their holiday

See them gaily gad about

They love to play and shout

They never have any cares

At six o'clock their mummies and daddies

Will take them back home to bed

'Cause they're tired little teddy bears

If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise

If you go down to the woods today, you'd better go in disguise

For every bear that ever there was

Will gather there for certain because

Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic

Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream

Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily Life is but a dream

**Dave:**

Row, row, row your boat Gently out to sea

Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily Home in time for tea

**Dave:**

Row, row, row your boat Gently on the tide

Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily to the other side

**Dave:**

Row, row, row your boat Gently back to shore

Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily Home for tea at four

**Dave:** Give yourselves a round of applause.

**Michelle:**

A sailor went to sea sea sea

To see what he could see see see

And all that he could see see see

Was the bottom of the deep blue sea sea sea

**Michelle:**

A sailor went to sea sea sea

To see what he could see see see

And all that he could see see see

Was the bottom of the deep blue sea sea sea

**Iain:**

The big ship sails through the ally-ally-oh,

The ally-ally-oh, the ally-ally-oh.

The big ship sails through the ally-ally-oh

On the last day of September

Ally ally oh! Ally oh!

On the last day of September

**Iain:**

The captain said it will never, never do,

Never, never do, never, never do.

The captain said it will never, never do

On the last day of September

Ally ally oh! Ally oh!

On the last day of September

**Michelle:**

The big ship sank to the bottom of the sea,

The bottom of the sea, the bottom of the sea.

The big ship sank to the bottom of the sea,

On the last day of September

Ally ally oh! Ally oh!

On the last day of September

**Dave:**

We all dip our heads in the deep blue sea,

The deep blue sea, the deep blue sea.

We all dip our heads in the deep blue sea,

On the last day of September

Ally ally oh! Ally oh!

On the last day of September

**Iain:**

The big ship sails through the ally-ally-oh,

The ally-ally-oh, the ally-ally-oh.

The big ship sails through the ally-ally-oh

On the last day of September

Ally ally oh! Ally oh!

On the last day of September

There were ten in the bed

And the little one said,

“Roll over! Roll over!”

So they all rolled over and

one fell out

There were nine in the bed

And the little one said,

“Roll over! Roll over!”

So they all rolled over

And one fell out

There were eight in the bed

And the little one said,

“Roll over! Roll over!”

So they all rolled over and one fell out

There were seven in the bed

And the little one said,

“Roll over! Roll over!”

So they all rolled over and one fell out

There were six in the bed

And the little one said,

“Roll over! Roll over!”

So they all rolled over and one fell out

There were five in the bed

And the little one said,

“Roll over! Roll over!”

So they all rolled over and one fell out

There were four in the bed

And the little one said,

“Roll over! Roll over!”

So they all rolled over and one fell out

There were three in the bed

And the little one said,

“Roll over! Roll over!”

So they all rolled over and one fell out

There were two in the bed

And the little one said,

“Roll over! Roll over!”

So they all rolled over and one fell out

There was one in the bed

And the little one said,

“Good Night!” “Good Night!”

The whistle’s blowing loudly

Another day is done

Inside the Fun Song Factory

With lots of songs we've sung.

Fun Song, Fun Song

Fun Song Factory

There’s nowhere else quite like it

It’s the Fun Song Factory.

Fun Song, Fun Song

Fun Song Factory

There’s nowhere else quite like it

It’s the Fun Song Factory.

**Dave, Michelle & Iain:** Bye.

## Opening (Original 1996 release)

1. Tempo Video Warning Screen (1987-2002)
2. AHE Abbey Home Entertainment/Tempo Video Ident (Later Variant)
3. The Tempo Pre-School promo from 1995 [announced by Neil Innes]
4. Fun Song Factory trailer [announced by Neil Innes]
5. An Official Pre-School Learning Alliance Video Card (Short Version)
6. Start of Fun Song Factory 2 (1996)

## Closing (Original 1996 release)

1. End of Fun Song Factory 2 (1996)/Fun Song Factory Closing Credits/A Tell-Tale Production for Abbey Broadcast Communications plc
2. A GMTV Programme For ITV

## Trailers and info

### Original 1996 release

1. The Tempo Pre-School video promo from 1995 plus "Fun Song Factory" advert.