The Meal Of Pierre Jaques

Come in Kiddies and let I, CREEPS, serve you all this DISGUSTING DISH OF DREAD!  Heh-Heh, yes, it's a little drama about a Frenchman, who has quite a large APPEFRIGHT...

Back in the Spring of 1888, a mansion stood over in the countryside of northern-France early one morning at dawn.  Inside the manor, a butler carried a platter with a gold-covering on it, into a bedroom, upstairs.  "Ah, Mr. Winston, good morning sir.  How do you do today?" another man, whose face was covered in a blue mask, lying in bed said to the butler and asked.  "Good morning Mr. Jaques sir.  I am quite splendid zank you.  Here 'tis your breakfast at dawn sir" Mr. Winston The Butler smiled, replying to the man.  "Zat 'tis splendid and zank you sir!" Mr. Jaques answered.  Mr. Winston The Butler placed the platter on an end-table beside Mr. Jaques bed, removing the gold-covering from it.  Mr. Jaques observed the eggs and caviar on a plate on the platter, next to some French toast.  A glass of orange juice was beside the plate on the platter.  "Looks exquisite yes" Mr. Jaques exclaimed.  Later on, Mr. Jaques walked with a walking-stick downstairs, into the parlor, dressed in a yellow, collared-shirt and white dress-pants, with gray-loafers.  "Mr. Wiston, it 'tis a wonderful bright day today.  Why, don't we attend an opera tonight in Paris!" Mr. Jaques suggested to him, as Mr. Winston The Butler walked into the parlor from the front hall.  "Sounds like a splendid idea, Mr. Jaques sir" he answered, with a grin.  Mr. Jaques turned on his record-player in the parlor playing: The Blue Danube Waltz" on it.  Mr. Winston poured a wine from a bottle into a glass, giving it to Mr. Jaques.  "Ah, exquisite French wine.  Zank you, Mr. Winston!" he said, sipping it through his blue mask.  "You are quite welcome sir!" he replied, pouring some more wine from the bottle into another glass and drinking it himself.

That evening, Mr. Winston The Butler and Mr. Jaques were both sitting in an audience in a theater in Paris together.  An orchestra below the stage played: "Toreador Song" during the performance of "Carmen" up on stage, as a gentleman sang it.  Mr. Jaques continued to wear his mask of blue, and Mr. Winston The Butler leaned over to him whispering, "my zis play 'tis splendid.  It 'tis one of the perks of moving to France here from England sir".  "Yes it 'tis indeed ha-ha-ha!" Mr. Jaques agreed, laughing.  A few hours later, the men returned in a horse-drawn carriage to the manor.  Mr. Winston The Butler opened the door for Mr. Jaques and followed him inside.  When Mr. Winston The Butler lit a candelabra, he and Mr. Jaques walked through the front hallway together, and found a crook coming out of the parlor.  "Who are you sir??" Mr. Jaques questioned the crook, gasping in surprise, being startled.  "Good evening, gentlemen, I have come to steal your riches from you" the burglar answered.  "You bloody bloke! You speak British too" Mr. Winston The Butler said to the crook.  "Yes sir, now down to business if you please.  I believe I will have to shoot you both!!" the crook replied, holding a gun out.  "MR. WINSTON, COVER YOUR EYES PLEASE AND DUCK!!!!" Mr. Jaques screamed and the butler did, crouching.  "I am Pierre Jaques sir and you have just made a big mistake breaking in here!" Mr. Jaques said to the burglar.  Pierre Jaques removed his mask, revealing his distorted-face and that he was a monster indeed.  Pierre's mouth was sunken-in and he has a cut off-like nose, with his right-eye socket being covered by flesh.  Pierre's left-eye was like a black-marble, with no eyelids.  Pierre Jaques cracked-open his sunken-in mouth, showing blackened-fangs of razor-sharpness.  Pierre Jaques hissed at the burglar, jumping at him, Pierre's long, grey, straight hair blowing back.  The monster that was Pierre Jaques tore into the crook's flesh on his neck, with his fangs, making sucking and gurgling sounds.  The burglar screamed in horror and pain, firing his gun in the air, then it fell out of his hand.  Pierre Jaques made a deep and low-pitched howling, killing the crook, as the monster began biting his forehead.  The crook fell to the floor, dead.

Thirty minutes later, Mr. Winston The Butler and Pierre Jaques both sat in the dining room across the front hall from the parlor, at the table.  The lit-candelabra was on the table, and Pierre Jaques said to Mr. Winston The Butler with his blue mask on: "Mr. Winston, may I please inquire of you to bury ze remains of zat crook sir?  Oh and do not look at the face.  I um, cut it".  "Why, yes sir" he replied, smiling and walked out of the dining-room, picking up the corpse in the front hall, going outside.  Pierre Jaques removed his blue mask and as The Blue Danube Waltz played on the record-player from in the parlor, the monster removed the golden-covering from the platter before him.  The monster carved the human-nose on the platter, using a fork and knife.  "Ah, ze crook's nose looks enticing and tasty yes!" Pierre Jaques said to himself and chewed on a piece of it with his fangs.

It looks like Pierre Jaques got a bit NOSEY in the end with his meal eh, Kiddies?  The crook watched him become PISCARE JAQUES Hee-Hee.