Chapter 75: How Will I Live?

**How Will I Live?** is the seventy-fifth Chapter of *Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu*.

## Summary

Class 2-3 is cleaning the hallways, and Yamada waves to Ichikawa, who waves back, but stops when he sees Adachi stomping angrily towards them. Oota asks what has him so upset, and he says he's wondering what to give back for White Day, even though there's still a month to go. Ichikawa flips it, saying that there's only a month left. He then considers how he got chocolate from Yamada, and considers how he'll live over the next month, and whether he'll be able to get anything good for her, while Adachi argues with Oota about what kind of chocolate Moe gave him. Chi insists that Moe clear up the misconception, but instead she eggs it on, facing Adachi and saying whether it's friend or love chocolate is up to his interpretation. Ichikawa thinks of her as a wicked woman while she loudly declares that she'd love some airpods, making Adachi even more paranoid. He goes over gift ideas with the boys, eventually settling on sexy lingerie, but considers how, since he got homemade chocolate, he'll need to give handmade lingerie, which the others agree is a bad idea. Kanzaki adds that for girls it only has to be chocolate on Valentine's, but White Day can be a lot of things. He says he's considering Sweets Paradise, an all-you-can-eat sweets buffet, and Ichikawa says it's a good idea, but that inviting her is the hard part. Adachi picks up on that, and rushes to him, aggressively asking if he got chocolate from someone, and leaving him self-conscious. Ichikawa tries to dodge the question, but Adachi insists it has to be someone ugly if so, leaving Yamada and Moe scowling at him.

After school, Ichikawa asks Adachi if it's even okay for him to give a gift back to someone he doesn't like. Adachi insists that he's the kind of person who likes someone who likes him. He considers how he doesn't really know anything about Sekine, however, and it's left him on edge, and he doesn't want to pick the wrong kind of gift. Ichikawa talks about how he's taking this seriously, and then asks where he's taking him. At that moment he realizes they've run into Nanjou, and Adachi invites him to have a conference with them. Ichikawa begins fading away, but Adachi brings him back to reality by telling him that they'll get advice from Nanjou, but he insists that he isn't popular at all, and that it's only about reading the atmosphere, but a bitter Ichikawa unexpectedly says that he can't read it at all. Ignoring the comment, Adachi tells about how Ichikawa got Valentine's chocolate, and how they're thinking about return gifts. Nanjou looks slyly over towards Ichikawa, asking if it's true, while Adachi asks about what kind of gift is best for girls. Nanjou says that men and women will never understand one another, and Ichikawa again shoots back, asking if that's the case, He begins a monologue, thinking about Yamada and how though women may think differently on things than men, but the more you get to know them, the more similarities you can find, and all it takes is some understanding. Adachi ignores his proclamation, focusing again on gifts, and Nanjou suggests lingerie. Adachi gets excited, thinking he got it right, and Nanjou asks Ichi*hara*'s opinion, which he identifies as a poor trap. As Ichikawa and Adachi begin walking off, Adachi proclaims that it's always nice to talk to Nanjou, and that he can learn a lot from him. Ichikawa counters, saying that he's learned much more talking to Adachi than him, which unexpectedly flusters Adachi, who tries to recover by saying he's just that likeable, and makes an excuse that he has to run to the judo club.

Yamada sees Ichikawa from a window on the second story of the school, and waves to him, but she doesn't realize Nanjou is nearby, and Ichikawa mentally asks her to stop because he doesn't want him involved. Yamada suddenly notices him, and Nanjou begins lifting his hand, to accept and reciprocate the wave he believes is for him, but Ichikawa chops his hand down, and waves aggressively in front of his face back to Yamada, causing her to blush and vanish. Ichikawa turns to address Nanjou, saying that "Yamada is the one I-" before he cuts him off, telling him to hold on, and Yamada suddenly swoops in and grabs Ichikawa, leading him away while saying a curt goodbye to Nanjou. Left alone, he says to himself that there is still a month until graduation.

A bonus page is Yamada and Ichikawa with their backs to the camera, looking over the city from a balcony.