The Mediator

A vignette about Emily Saunders mediating in an argument between Mao Ligao and Elenore Fulo, a Martyrdom Knight. A phone call interrupts the proceedings.

## As told by Emily later on in song:

Now let’s jump into to Emi's house

They standing off on the floor

Then Mao says, “So, we all ok?”

Then Emi closes the door

Then Emi said, “You two wanna tell me what happened?”

Then Elen said, “I'll tell you, she just almost got our Knights

burned and cursed with doom”

Then Mao says, “You got nerve, almost killed your knights,

When you’re sneaking into Balete Borders, bitch

I ain’t fighting all your fights”

Sis says, “And what do you mean by that?”

Mao looks at her and says, “Figure it out!”

She says, “Ooo Saunders, she don't know me

I will cut this bitch right now.”

“Whoa”

"Come and try it, muthafuckin', I swear to god"

"Heretic!"

"Just try it"

"Let me at her"

"Come on bitch!"

"Scum!"

"Just try it, muthafucka"

"Saunders let me go!"

"I swear to God, try it"

"Come on"

"Try it!"

"Bitch come on"

"Calm the fuck down!"

Emi says,

Mao says, "You will regret this later"

Then Elen says, “This shit is sad"

Then Emi says, “Well it is what it is, Sister,

We might as well talk about it, and try to get some understanding"

Mao said, “Understand this? I doubt it".

They talkin’ loud while the phones ringin', ringin', stutter, ringin', ringin'

But no one answers, just ignores it

Emi screams, “I said, calm down, you’re both actin’ like damn fools!

The Snakes, Balete and a Martyr, now how would that look in the news?”

Elen says, “A Knight defeating Balete looks good on the news”

Then looks at Mao and says, “But a Snake ruining everything,

Saunders, you don't want me to answer you”

And then Mao yells, “Bitch who do you think you are?

Attackin every Balete whoever you please?”

Then Elen says, “You don't get it you heretic collaborating scum,

‘Cause all the authority belongs to me"

And then Emi says, "Nobody's going nowhere

Until we figure this out we'll all just be right here”

And then Elen and Mao won't stop staring at each other

Elen sneers her nose up at them

Mao rolls her eyes at her

Then the phone rings again, phone ringin', phone ringin'

But this time Emi walks away and answers it

Says, “Hello, Emily Saunders speakin"

"Emi, this Gwendolyn, can you talk?"

Emi says, “I’m in the middle of something, not now"

Gwendolyn says, “Dear, this can't wait

Please get somewhere quick to yourself right now"

Then Emi says, “Hurry up, I'm listening, shoot"

Gwen says, “Ok, I'll make it quick

Dear, remember the company you introduced me to? "

She says, “Yeah, what about ‘em? "

"Anyway dear, things were great until this meeting everything went wrong!"

Mao looks at Elen and says, “What the hell?”

She says, “I don't know,” she says, “Dammit I’m on the phone!”

She says, “Go ahead Gwen”

Gwen says, “Well it all started with the cake I prepared last night"

"Um hmm"

"Chocolate and Chiffon, creamy, chocolatey, everything was so right"

"Um hmm, go on"

"Well we were all sittin’ there laughin’ and drinkin’

Next thing you know, here comes the desserts,

With the waitstaff stealing a slice”

Emi looks at the cake knife on the sink

She says, “Girl, what shelf did you keep the cake in?

Gwen says, “Second,” Emi flops facepalms her head

Like, what the fuck?

Then Emi says, “Gwendolyn”

Gwendolyn says, “Dear, I’m not finished”

Then she starts tellin' her ‘bout the knobhead waiter

Who mixed in the tea with soda water later

Then Emi says, “Gwendolyn, girl listen"

But Gwendolyn's going on and on, Emi steady tryin’ get her attention

But Gwen steady going on and on and on

Then Elen says, “Saunders, are we gon' finish this conversation or what?” Then Emi says, “Sister, I’m on the phone”

Then Elen says, “Please, I don't give a fuck! "

Then Emi says, “Darlin’, shut up girl, damn, just listen to me!

You know the missing slice  you was talkin’ about?”

Gwen says, “Uh huh,” Emi says, “Well”

Gwen says, “Well what?” Emi says, “Gwen”

Gwen says, “Emi”

Emi says, “Gwen, I’m sorry hun, but that knob was me.”