S10 E05: Goreslammer 69B

## Episode Summary

Tully's Monsters run security for peace talks on the planet Suicuyama. Beaufort Gubbins acts slightly overprotective. Max Ina reassures the crowd. Wendy McDonald barges into a locked office like a super spy. Beaufort and Max scout the area for any potential issues, while Wendy joins Bridgette to learn more about these peace talks.

## Plot

Beaufort has some questions on a clipboard of questions.

Has anyone in these meetings recently changed their stance on them? Unknown.

What about the bodyguards?

Beaufort asks many questions with no answers

Wendy is asleep on the Tully.

Ensign Bridgette Gubbins, Beauforts little sister, scholarship kid. 4'10" Hair is just long enough to tie it back. Works in engineering. Beaufort forced her to wear a hairnet during training so she wouldn't scalp herself, or a bonnet. It's all about safety.

Bridgette is bouncing around the Tully monster, excited that they said yes to let her go on this mission.

Bridgette makes mocking sounds at Beaufort.

Beaufort pulls out a high visibility vest and hard hat and puts it on Bridgette.

Max would prep by trying to find clothing that would be neutral between the two parties.

The planet they are going to is Suicuyama.

Suicuyama is a fairly progressive hub of illithid culture or has become so in recent years.

This is the best place to broker peace.

There is a bit of a cultural melting pot here.

Art that might incorporate works from non illithid worlds will be found here.

proactive at welcoming other races, forward thinking place.

Gonna wear kimonos with pastel colors, no vibrant, but warm and welcoming.

Wendy is wearing a tux, like James Bond.

a tux is spray painted on Beaufort.

Mindflayer clothes is a moist suit.

Sui means water and yama means mountain.

This planet is responsible for contacting Sol and the formation of The Velvet Foxes.

Minimum age is age of adulthood for your species.

Bridgette is 20 years old, and is waffling Beauforts ear off with her knowledge of the planet.

Is there been any political unrest, maybe someone stirring up trouble. Illithid mind news.

No, things have been surprisingly calm. Some push back, but rather calm. Smick Smock.

Wendy is huffing nail polish from Bridgette's bag.

Beaufort is a dragonborn sorceress.

This is going shockingly well, and it makes me nervous, and who should be angry that isn't?

Greeted by an Illithid who look like an exhausted businessman, named Clive.

The suit is ill fitting, but it has a polka dot tie.

What about bodyguards? Doesn't know, may be hired.

Floor plans, entry, ductwork? City Hall, well guarded. Two entrances and exits, tinted windows. Very little higher buildings nearby. No sewer grates.

Fire exit has an alarm. Only front entrance needs alarm.

Any new hires, named something like Thean Tagonist. They were fired weeks ago.

Disgrunted employees.

Bet Rayer is helpful employee.

Wendy is making the dismissive wanking gestures in a bag.

City center is in very good condition, very pristine. lots of nature being grown within the urban center. A lot of things that would feel very much like home for many non illithids. It is meant to feel familiar.

More melting pot than epcot. it feels overly produced and a little bit like learning only one thing about culture and it used to death.

It is real and not a psionic projection.

Illithid delegates and Sol delegates

Illthids: Ellen (face of peace movement, movement would lose momentum without her, very charismatic)

Sol: Davin Halfling (eager about peace)

Beaufort notes that killing either of these people will cut the head off the snake, or make them a martyr?

Bridgette is in the background taking photos like a tourist.

Beaufort has to pull Bridgette to avoid getting hit by a car.

City Center is bustling with activity.

Many rooms down a corridor and a big conference room to one side, where the peace talks will take place.

Clive leaves the party but asks them to make sure no one gets killed and to keep an ear open for anything going on that needs to be talked through or dealt with or squashed down. Anything they can do to make sure things stay fine.

Wendy has been in Bridgette's bag this whole time.

Wendy suspects he is on the up and up and wants the peace talks to happen, but he's just tired.

Wendy stays in the bag.

Wendy puts on some lipstick as a green and black face makeup

Beaufort and Max will never carry Wendy so she's is abusing her chariot privileges.

Beaufort is going to do a sweep of the building for bugs, bombs and unlocked doors.

Wendy was trying to help investigate and ripped a hole in Bridgette's bag.

Beaufort knocks on all the doors and walks into rooms.

He meets a very angry human man mid-40's, Corporal Bryant. Very model big, square, middle aged man in an army suit covered in various lapels. Generic McArmyMan.

Beaufort walks away in the middle of talking to Corporal Bryant, who walks after them.

He had the door unlocked in case he needed to spring to action to help.

Beaufort and Corporal Bryant are having arguments.

One door does not answer when knocked and it's locked. The label says Jenny.

Jenny is an illithid flumph who is a psychologist for the illithid delegation. Here to basically talk through what the consequences could be for moving forward with peace talks. what could the responses from the populous be.

Wendy tries to pick the log and fails. her lockpick is a tiny jewelers screwdriver. I think they have some kind of special lock.

Wendy asks what Bridgette is here for, Bridge Bridge. If she has any specialties.

She's here because she begged to be here. She wants to be around the talks and wants to meet the people who have been helping to make the illithid body alternatives.

Wendy is worried that Beaufort will atomize the door.

Beaufort gives Wendy a flash of insight, helping her to open the door.

Beaufort pulls a can of Wd-40 and sprays it on Wendy, who now displaces water.

Wendy-40

If this didn't work you could pop the locks off the door by taking a hinge pin and knocking it clear out of there.

Jenny apologizes hoping to not be disturbed. She is busy getting her notes together for the talk.

Wendy is greasy and asks for napkins.

Jenny gives Wendy a box of tissues.

Beaufort is more reasonable because Jenny is nicer and explains he is doing a security check.

Max steps in to apologize for breaking in.

Jenny has been keeping an eye on the vibes and there are no bad vibes.

Wendy tries to bluff by saying she thought it was a Janitor closet because it said Jenny on the door.

Wendy has been swaddled in tissues like a sleeping bag.

Max gives their names and lets Jenny know that she can contact them if she needs help.

Wendy says maybe they call her the Slippery Bandit.

Wendy thinks Jenny likes her.

Bridgette asks to go do her own thing.

Bridgette wants to find the room of the people who do the Illithid body alternatives.

No one gets murdered during the pre talks.

Live TV for maximum political impact, especially if it's ambiguous.

Austin hopes next missing is to infiltrate Smick Smock headquarters.

Wendy needs a cerebro spinal fluid martini, and will try and go find one.

Beaufort offers for Wendy to go with Bridgette.

Austin wishes he could remember Neelith brain foods because he wants to order one of those.

Synapty meal.

Wendy does smell something that smells like the brain alternative equivalent of KFC, some real trash junk food smell.

occipital hor d'oeuvres.

Wendy opens the door and sees a spindly gangly illithid.

He's wearing a few layers, small cape over a shirt.

Wendy asks for the hypothalamus.

He passes a bucket of ketamine fried cerebellum. Crispy cortex.

Kentucky Fried corpus callosum.

Wendy can tell that this illithid has been working in the dark.

This is one of the people that developed the body alternative.

Cascorn is a female dwarf with a wonderfully bushy beard.

Wendy eats more KFC while Bridgette talks to the "nerds."

The situation is that Illithids start as tadpoles and they have to find a being to burrow into the brain of and eat through the braina nd that becomes their body and if they don't do that they become something that isn't ideal. This makes a bad relationship with the rest of the galaxy as the species that eats brains all the time. There has been a solution for a while, using magical cloned bodies. Soulless generic physical form bodies. Technically alive enough to burrow into. When illithid ceramorphosis a host in most cases they are transformed beyond all recognition. Usually the end result is an illithid, there are some exceptions, like Jenny and Wendy. The problem is that others will not know if an illithids didn't eat a real person or one of these clones. The other option is that some illithids are not fans of bodies created from magic, they don't like that magic has created their body. Work has been done on mechanical replacement bodies. Issue is that it is more mechanical rather than fleshy. Bridgette is curious about this second option.

Wendy checks the room for traps. but notices a locked drawer that the illithid has gone into extra effort to lock. But nothing has been trapped in here.

Bridgette asks how they were able to allow burrowing in a machine.

Wendy asks if either of them play Goreslammer 69B

Pavroth plays a game with Wendy.

Wendy crushes Pavroth at a game of Goreslammer 69B.

Max and Beaufort check outside the building and looks for anything that seems odd.

Cars are parked on their side, due to y axis driving.

A small group has started to form across the road, largely consists of Illithids. Unlike a lot of them that have been seen, they are wearing traditional Illithid garb.

Max and Beaufort go to talk to the Illithid crowd.

There is one illithid passing out leaflets and Max asks for one.

Illithid Traditional Order, ITO. Illithids exist the way they do that is the natural order, why should we be messing with things as they were created.

They are worried that it goes from being an option, to be strongly suggested, to being outlawed. Wokism gone wrong.

Not against choice, just pro taking life.

i don't want anyone saying that it's morally wrong for me to decide to eat a brain.

Right just like how it's perfectly fine for me to murder that person in self defense.

That's different, you don't have a cultural history of murdering people in self defense.

Max's fur bristles up a little looking back and Beaufort.

Max asks for a name, Jeremiah.

Ernest is in the talks to make sure that they're being heard. Makes sure that everyone knows that some of us have concerns about traditions being taken way from them and not being able to do the things they want to do with their lives.

Ernest is part of Ellen's delegation.

Wendy flies after Bridgette and asks if Bridgette is made at her.

Bridgette has 11 siblings.

Humans and Mindflayers have so much in common.

Beaufort reminds Wendy of a Neolithid, what happens when a tadpole doesn't take a brain. Huge and angry and they murder everything.

Beaufort didn't get a brain and is so huge.

Beaufort has a brain and uses it to keep us safe and sometimes that means being scary but he kept us all safe. He means well and wants us to be okay.

Magic bodies have been working for a while, mechanical ones are interesting.

Wendy doesn't trust Pavroth because he's bad at Goreslammer.

Laura and Austin getting lore straight. Austin thought the conflict might've been too simple. But there are a lot of aspects, magic bias. kicked out of hive mind for being different, small etc.

tadpoles in ropers. mindflayer ropers hate their life as they are seen as guard dogs but as intelligent.

conformity and homogeneity are prized in the culture.

Ellen has a custom body.

Wendy gets some hostile reactions because of her looks.

Ellen went out of her way to have a body that is not a regular host. It was important to practice what she preached.

Who is manufacturing the clone bodies. Spell Clone needs a powerful wizard. Alhoon are powerful wizard illithids, and are ostracized.

Outsourcing of magic to get the bodies made. Not many internally to make enough bodies.

Economy Squid, Balthazar, Worried about sustainability to keep hiring wizards to make clones and resources to make mechanical ones. Government costs.

Max wants to know how large the delegation is.

The party meets back up in the lobby and meet Ellen.

Ellen is a visually unique illithid, relatively long. shimmering purple skin, long flowing tentacles as hair. unmistakably illithid but shortly than you would expect. proportions are not homogenized.

Wendy greet Ellen with a traditional mindflayer greeting, braining hard or hardly braining.

Max bows and introduces themselves. and explains what the party has been doing.

Max shares the pamphlet with Ellen. She believes they can come around.

Beaufort asks if they could put meat over the mechanical body.

The true issue is the lack of a soul that they have a problem with. if they're not consuming a living life form they are not doing illithid right.

Wendy adds that the soul adds umami.

Max asks if they are also concerned with a willing soul as well.

Splatoon mom. Wendy is ensorcelled by Ellens hair.

Asks if there is anyone besides Ernest to be mindful of.

Wendy says from experience, Some people who appear to have progressive opinions can be using a high level technique known as lying. Traditionalist will say it's disgusting to not have a uniform body but then they do experiments to create hybrids to for example be an ultimate spy.

Balthazar did not take his body by force.

There could be other methods for funding.

Ellen's son will speak. He has a mechanical body.

There is an Elder brain on the planet, but the psionic communication was very unsettling to visitors.

Wendy, I'm socially liberally, but on the Elder Brain I'm a little bit more conservative. We should have an Elder Brain.

Brine wave pool.

They want to make sure people don't have talks behind their backs.

Down Ms Squidsident.

Beaufort is in a position, like a conductors pit, so that he can grab someone.

Wendy is hiding in the ceiling or vents.

Eight Delegates, two from the body project, Ellen, Ellen's son Harry, Bridgette, Balthazar, Ernest, Devan.

Max stays close to the entrance to the room to keep an eye inside and an ear outside.

Aarakocra in legal attire and a harengon in a well tailored suit and earpiece.

last in is the Mechanical bodied Illithid. Tradional illithid body but shimmery and metallic. Tentacles are fluid but look more solid and rigid than expected.

Max is the first to notice that something is up. Max notices that Harry starts to raise one of it's arms and points it toward Daven.

Spectral wings sprout from Max and they dive towards Daven to interpose themselves between Daven and Harry their hand still trained on the gun in their jacket.

## Quotes

"I want water slides there now."

"This is podcast poison, so let's move on."

"Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss."

"I'm gonna secure the perimeter or watever."

"You almost go there without saying the subtext out loud Laura. You were so close."

"Sometimes you just gotta say the word, it was in there."

"I've been killing people for years, it's really in my culture.

"Dick measuring contest about who loves murder more."

"I love the idea of introducing slippery slope arguments when we've established there are some slick water slides on this planet."

"It is important to be earnest."

"And to be scared stupid."

"There are two ways an earnest joke can go, Oscar Wilde or those fucking movies and we did both I'm so proud of us."

"I've never seen either of these things."

"I've never seen books in my life."

"Oscar Wilde is a writer."

## Metagame

Any level ups? New skills? Gained items? Upgrades? etc.

## Preamble

Austin has opinion about Laura's roll20 setup.

Austin stopped using graphs after season 2.

Austin only uses roll20 for combat order.

Dan didn't realize this until halfway through Dragon Quest.

Laura will use it to help with characters and their names.

Talk about the comic Loss from CAD.

## References

You don't want to do a memoir of being in a position then immediately being out of that position by the time the memoir hits the market. -Skitch references the rise and fall of Liz Truss of the British Parliament.
https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/will-anyone-buy-my-liz-truss-book/