Starlight

> *I talk to absolutely no one*
>  *Couldn't keep to myself enough*
>  *And the things bottled inside have finally begun*
>
>
>
> *To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up*
>
>
>
>

**starlight** is the second mixtape created for Sadie Hawthorne. It was released on August 2, 2017 on 8tracks. The first mixtape created for Sadie is **lesson one: do not hide**, released on March 27, 2017.

The playlist continues the arc of Sadie's development after the events of The Apartment on 3rd Street. It tells of Sadie's feelings about her past and her feelings for Lizzie after having improved as a person.

"well the second mix i'd like to think hints to be a more positive future for her
ok looking at the mix again it is still quite sad but i'd like to think,,, well Sadie is meant to still be in a transitional period"

## Track listing

1. "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" - Relient K - *Mmhmm* (2004) - 3:52
2. "High Dive" - Andrew McMahon - *Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness* (2014) - 3:47
3. "Starlight" - Muse - *Black Holes and Revelations* (2006) - 4:03
4. "Head Cold" - LIGHTS - *Midnight Machine* (2016) - 4:05
5. "You Could Be Happy" - Snow Patrol - *Eyes Open* (2006) - 3:02
6. "Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want" - Slow Moving Millie - *Renditions* (2011) - 2:54
7. "I Think I'm Ready To Love You" - Priscilla Ahn - *This Is Where We Are* (2014) - 3:31
8. "World Spins Madly On" - Nervous But Excited - *Just the Two of Us (Our Duo Doing Duos) EP* (2010) - 3:40

## Lyrics & Meta

```
[Verse 1]
I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind
But I will shy away from the specifics

[Pre-Chorus 1]
'Cause I don't want you to know where I am
'Cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been
This is no place to try and live my life

[Chorus 1]
(Stop right there) That's exactly where I lost it
(See that line?) Well, I never should have crossed it
(Stop right there) Well, I never should have said
That it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back

[Chorus 2]
I'm sorry for
The person I became
I'm sorry that
It took so long for me to change
I'm ready to
Be sure I never become that way again
'Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

[Verse 2]
I talk to absolutely no one
Couldn't keep to myself enough
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up
And I heard the reverberating footsteps
Syncing up to the beating of my heart
And I was positive that unless
I got myself together I would watch me fall apart

[Pre-Chorus 2]
And I can't let that happen again
'Cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been
This is no place to try and live my life

[Chorus 1]
(Stop right there) That's exactly where I lost it
(See that line?) I never should have crossed it
(Stop right there) I never should have said
That it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back
(Stop right there) That's exactly where I lost it
(See that line?) Well, I never should have crossed it
(Stop right there) Well, I never should have said
That it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back

[Chorus 2]
I'm sorry for
The person I became
I'm sorry that
It took so long for me to change
I'm ready to
Be sure I never become that way again
'Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

[Bridge]
Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance You gave me
Who I am hates who I've been
'Cause who I've been only ever made me

[Chorus 2]
So sorry for
The person I became
I'm sorry that
It took so long for me to change
I'm ready to
Be sure I never become that way again
'Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

```

```
[Verse 1]
I took the train home, facing backwards
Another hopeless chase
Echo Park, Indian summer
I wrote a new song about your new life
Like steps I retrace
Block letters in your little black notebook, yeah

[Pre-Chorus]
Flashbacks get me close
I'm almost there

[Chorus]
Headlight in the driveway
You stand in the window waiting
The stars are out tonight
One million fires burning
Out there on the high dive
You dance with your headphones on and I
Could watch you all night long
Dancing to someone else's song
Oh, dancing to someone else's song
Oh, dancing to someone else's

[Verse 2]
Black jacket, a blue motorbike
Pass the mission in the moonlight
Teenagers in the alley kissing
Smell of gas burn, saw your street sign
I'm doing eighty in a forty-five
Throwing shadows you could hear if you listen, yeah

[Pre-Chorus]
Flashbacks get me close
I'm almost there

[Chorus]
Headlights in the driveway
You stand in the window waiting
The stars are out tonight
One million fires burning
Out there on the high dive
You dance with your headphones on and I
Could watch you all night long
Dancing to someone else's song
Oh, dancing to someone else's song
Oh, dancing to someone else's

[Bridge]
Flashbacks get me close
But I'm staring at someone else's

[Chorus]
Headlights in your driveway
You stand in the window waiting
The stars are out tonight
One million fires burning
Meet me on the high dive
You'll dance with your headphones on
So I could watch you all night long
Dancing to someone else's song (song)
Oh, dancing to someone else's song (song)
Oh, dancing to someone else's song
Someone else's song, to someone else's song
To someone else's, someone else's, someone else's song

```

```
[Verse 1]
Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

Starlight
I will be chasing a starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

[Hook 1]
Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

[Verse 2]
My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

[Hook 2]
I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

[Hook 1]
Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

[Hook 2]
I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations, yeah
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

[Hook 1]
Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

I just wanted to hold

```

```
[Verse 1]
Walked to the corner
Stood in the cold wind and felt the
Time passing me by
Under a cover
All frozen over, and I know
My knuckles are white

[Pre-Chorus 1]
I'm stuck in a hard place
Out in the rat race
Like everybody else
And this one is a big wall
I'm in for the long haul
Trying to remind myself

[Chorus]
It's just a head cold
It's just a head cold

[Verse 2]
Need a little push now
Some kind of a shake down
So come here
Anything

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I'm caught in the landslide
Stuck on the inside
Like everybody else
And this one is a big wall
I'm in for the long haul
Trying to remind myself

[Chorus]
It's just a head cold
It's just a head cold
It's just a head cold
It's just a head cold

[Bridge]
It's nothing
It's not loneliness
Nobody came in on a bed of red roses
Keep moving
Everyone is
Doors always open when another one closes

[Chorus]
It's just a head cold
It's just a head cold
It's just a head cold
It's just a head cold

[Outro]
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh

```

```
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were?
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blurred
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

```

```
Good times for a change
See, the luck I've had
Can make a good man turn bad

So please, please, please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want this time
Get what I want this time

Haven't had a dream in a long time
See, the life I've had
Can make a good man turn bad

So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time

So please, please, please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want this time

So for once in my life
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time

```

```
I think I'm ready to love you
I'm ready
I'm ready
I think I'm ready to love you
I'm ready
I'm ready
I think I'm ready to love you
I'm ready
I'm ready
I think I'm ready to love you
I'm ready
I'm ready

```

```
Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
And let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on

```