1999 Dinoco 400

This race was known for Dale Carrett winning his first and only Piston Cup. Dale then sang the I'm Me song (also sung by Tin Top in Roary the Racing Car). This was also the last Piston Cup race to be telecast on CBS Sports before coverage moved to RSN.

## TeleBio

Network: CBS

Announcers: Bob Cutlass, Ned Carrett, Pinkie Pie and Spike

## Transcript

### The race starts

Bob: This is it! The final Piston Cup race here on CBS Sports before moving coverage to RSN, and it's on!

### Jonathan Melter beats up pitties/fired

Texaco Pluming crew cheif: I need you to take tires!

Texaco Pluming pitty: Yeah! You need tires!

Johnathan Melter: What? ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT! I'M BEATING ALL OF YOU UP! (drives to pit road and beats up his pitties and crew cheif)

Ned Carrett: OH! Johnathan Melter is beating up a lot of pitties, and his crew cheif!

Spike: And we have a caution!

Thomas Tireson: JOHNATHAN, GET OVER HERE!

Johnathan Melter: Is this you?

Thomas Tireson: YES IT IS! YOU BEATED UP A LOT OF PITTIES! THIS IS WORSE THAN THE TIME WHEN I CRASHED IN THE 1983 DINOCO 400! YOU'RE FIRED!

Johnathan Melter (bawls): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Note: Johnathan Melter gets fired from Piston Cup Racing for beating up a lot of pitties)

### DALE WINS THE PISTON CUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob: Here they come to the checkered flag! Dale Carrett has passed Murray Clutchburn for 2nd, and he's onto Chick Hick's tail! Can Dale pass Chick!

Ned: I don't know if my son is gonna win the Piston Cup.

Spike: DALE IS ONTO CHICK'S INSIDE!

Bob: CHICK HICK FIGHTING DALE ON THE OUTSIDE! THERE FIGHTING FOR THE 1999 PISTON CUP!

Spike: AND DALE CARRETT PASSES CHICK!

Bob: DALE CARRETT WILL WIN THE LAST PISTON CUP LIVE ON CBS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ned: OH MY GOSH! BANANA TIME! (He throws bananas and other fruits at his son Dale)

Dale: YES! I WON!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND MY DAD IS GOING ABSOLUTELY INSANE RIGHT NOW!

Kelley Carrett: Good job, honey!

Dale: Aww, thanks Kelley!

Chick: THAT'S NOT FAIR, YOU IDIOT! NOW I AM GONNA GO HOME!!! (Leaves the racetrack) SAYONARA, SUCKER!!! (Drives into his hauler)

Pinkie: Wow! That is amazing! Especially for the Carrett family!

### I'm Me

Pinkie: This is so exciting to see Dale Carrett winning my retirement season. Spike will still be on RSN in 2000 but yeah!

Spike: Dale, are you gonna sing a song?

Dale: You know, I could have put it better. But I'm sure gonna try! Ahem! Here we go...

(Spike grabs a cassette recorder and plays the "I'm Me" song on cassette Dale races around the racetrack)

Dale (singing): I'm me! I'm me! I'm who I want to be! I'm me! I'm me! Whoa, it makes me free! I ride the race I want to! I get it right! WHOO! I made the way I ought to, I made it just right cause I'm me! I'm me! I'm who I want to be! I'm me! I'm me! Whoa, it makes me free! I don't need suit up engines! I don't need flash cause when I hit the race! it doesn't hurt if I crash cause I'm me! (Crowd: I'm me) I'm me! I'm me! I'm who I want to be! I'm me! I'm me! Whoa, it makes me free. (Music keeps playing) I'm me! I'm me! Who-oa! (races back to pit road) Cause I'm me! (End of the song)

Spike: That was brilliant!

Ned: YEAH! WELL DONE, MY SON!

Tony Gaswart: I love hearing that song as a Piston Cup rookie.

Ernie Swervan: I can't believe my teammate won the Piston Cup.

The King: This is the song that I was waiting for all day.

Dale: Thanks Mr. The King. The last CBS era of broadcasting Piston Cup and the last one of the old millennium is all mine! Now can I sing my song for the rest of my career? I am pro singer, anyway!

The King: Yeah!

Dale: THANKS, MR THE KING! (singing) I'm me! I'm me! I'm who I want to be! I'm me! I'm me! Whoa, I won the 1999 Piston Cup, baby! I'm (like Junior Asparagus song) meeeeeeeeeee! (Drives into his hauler)

Ned: (laughs) My son is just a professional singer.

Bob: I love the way he sings the I'm Me song.

(Credits, Moog SSB plays in the last time)