A Magical Place

Nicole Taylor

Purple slammed his desk. "Alright, listen up! It's been 6 hours since a sleeper used a functional Tungsten suit on live television, which is the 24-hour-news-cycle equivalent of a week in the good old days, attempts to bury the story have failed because the Etherites have decided to fuck us over by keeping it alive, and the brass is breathing is down my neck! So unless SOMEONE can tell me what the FUCK HAP-"

"We sent Nuke on a mandatory vacation," a bored-sounding voice said, somehow getting heard despite being several dozen decibels softer than Purple's voice.

As one, everyone turned towards the source of the voice, a woman in her late thirties nursing a bottle of bourbon while staring at her computer monitor. Purple took advantage of this by swallowing nervously when no one could see it.

After Purple's first disastrous confrontation with Karen Murphy, his mentor had explained to him over drinks that she was considered a crucible for management: if you gave her too much free reign, you were obviously not leadership material, but if you pissed her off... well, things didn't end well for you either. Since then, Purple had been carefully walking the Karen Murphy tightrope, and it did not get much easier with experience.

After steadying his nerves, Purple spoke. "I wasn't aware we had weapons of mass destruction on our payroll, agent Murphy."
Murphy looked away from her monitor and stared him in the eye just a little too long before responding. "Apologies, chief. Nuke is one of his nicknames, just not his code name."

"What's his code name, then?"

"Don't think you'd recognize it, chief. You might know him by one of his other nicknames, though: Metal Man, Point Front Towards Enemy, Antwerp's Crucible..." - Purple flinched at that, unable to help himself - "... Lee Harvey Oswald, John Wilkes Booth..."

Purple blinked in recognition, and several of his underlings gasped in shock. "Wait, THAT guy?"

Murphy gave him the smallest of smiles, then turned back to her monitor. "Yep, mr. You Know Who I Am himself. Apparently the Antwerp Trio got sent on a mandatory vacation to Tahiti, and while there they encountered some Ravnoses running an antiques store and preying on the locals. Since they weren't allowed to follow their regular routine, it seems he decided to use diplomacy to convince them to find less harmful ways to obtain a blood supply. They seemed more interested in eating him than in hearing him out, though, so he put on his Titanium suit. Mechsuit diplomacy, if you will." Murphy chuckled drily at her own pun - no one else dared make a sound.

Purple did some quick mental math, and came up short. "Even if that's true-"

A glare from Murphy made him step back instinctively and slam into his desk. "It is."

This time, everyone saw his nervous swallow. "Even so, there's some steps missing from your reasoning."

After 2 seconds that felt like hours, Murphy's eyes softened slightly, and Purple could breathe again. "The thing about Ravnoses, chief, is that they're idiots. So all you have to do is think 'what would my predecessor do in a situation like that?', and you'll get to the answer on your own."

/Not going to let me off the hook that easily, huh?/ Purple closed his eyes in concentration. /This is it - make it through this, and you're one step closer to promotion - and survival./ After speeding up his thought processes and doing a lightning-fast question-and-answer session with himself, he thought he had the answer. He opened his eyes to find every eye in the room staring straight at him - except for Murphy's, which we locked on her monitor again.

"Looks like you figured it out, chief."

/She didn't even look at me./

Purple scraped his dry throat. "Like you said, Ravnoses have peculiar thought processes. Someone wields a functional Iron Man suit? That means it's Iron Man himself. And even though they're not going to take him on directly, they'll be scared enough to want him out of the way, and have the contacts needed to take out a contract on him - or Tony Stark, I suppose, since a contract on Iron Man is less likely to get any takers. Of course, if Iron Man is real, then some others may also exist - so to be on the safe side, they probably took out contracts on some of the other MCU players. Thor is out, obviously, but Steve Rogers and Bruce Banner are likely picks - not sure about Nick Fury, though."

Purple paused, afraid to continue this line of logic which sounded even dumber out loud than in his head. Apparently taking pity on him, Murphy uttered something approaching encouragement: "Halfway there, chief."

Reassured, he continued. "Of course, Nuke has something of a rapport with the MCU crew from his role as 'technical advisor', so I'm guessing he gave them some of the Tungsten Lite suits he takes with him on missions to protect non-combatants. After that, it was only a matter of time before one of them ended up trying one out. It's pretty rotten luck that it happened on live TV, though."

Murphy raised one eyebrow slightly. This time, though, Purple's thoughts were in step, and he started barking out orders. "Alright, you lot! Start analyzing the primary actors in the interview, and find out if anyone's been manipulating the odds or anyone's behavior! When the brass comes in to ask us why we're up shit creek, I want to know if it was coincidence or if someone rowed us there!"

And with that, the tension in the room broke. Everyone started tapping away at their computers and barking at phones. As Purple slumped slightly against his desk in relief, he thought he caught a glimpse of Murphy smiling smugly - and then it was gone, and she had the same bored look on her face as always as she continued playing Minesweeper on her computer.

## Putting magic in it's place

CLASSIFIED - TOP SECRET

**Report 89164-NT-B** ===
*From: 00107101*

*To: [unknown number], Paris*

*Tahiti, 15-5- 2022*

**Enquiry concerning 00107391's mental wellbeing**

As described in report 89164-NT-A, agent 00107391's worldview has recently undergone a significant revision. In accordance with the advice given in report 89165-NT, significant changes in behaviour are reported. ====

#### **Monitored behaviours:**

* Strict allegiance to rules about not working
* Inviting a reality deviant to join a holiday
* Inviting a reality deviant to share a room
* Inviting a reality deviant to share a bed
* Willingly have intimate physical contact with said reality deviant.
* Wilingness to let agent 00107391 use a device previously described as vulgar. (For references to this device: see patents 56784xb: Polly Pocket Dimension and 56865xb: Pokeball IRL)
* Allowing allied person with Chimeric Disorder to decide the fate of captured entity with Changing Breed Disorder
* Happyness about engagement of fellow agent with person with Chimeric Disorder

The significant revision of agent Taylor's worldview was beneficial. It has contributed to her overal mental wellbeing and to further stability in her broader relationships. However, considering the lightning pace of this transition, this process needs continuous monitoring. Effects which where calculated to have a low probability have occured, thereby throwing further calculations off balance.
As described in report 46574D, with appendices N476 to N488, I have adviced a monogamous long term relationship for agent Taylor. Preliminary calculations have shown that failure to establish such a relationship is not in her best interests and considering her worth for the TU, therefore not in the TU's best interests. Due to constraints, no external pressure has been applied to provide an appropriate relationship, only encouraging measures have been taken.
Standard procedure for eliminating unwanted intimate relationships is not reccommended. Elimination of involved reality deviant will

* A: have a short term devastating effect on agent Taylor. This can of course be lessened by therapy, however this is not recommended.
* B: Increase the odds of all kinds of undesirable effects: e.g.: unworkable relationships between agents at Antwerp Construct, increase agent 05007913 and allied person with Chimeric Disorder's suspicions about the NWO, agent 05007913 going rogue, destabilization of the promising budding cooperation between reality deviants and technocrats.

#### **ADVICE:**

* Detailed background investigation of reality deviant: 'Matthew Matthews'.
* Extra careful monitoring of agent 00107391 at DIMH