recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Goblin Mode

*Jesus Christ, we're finally back.*

An episode of Rude Tales of Magic. The party finishing their dealings with Pebis just to find themselves in the clutches of a troll.

## Summary

The party finds themselves back in their normal bodies after overcoming Pebis' powers but with some side effects. Frederick speaks in a high, garbling voice, identifying himself as Prolapse and Goatse, the goblins whose bones made up his jaw and hand that took over while there was briefly nobody in the body and taking his body for a joyride while he's stuck in the back of their mind.

Albee attempts to salvage a relationship between her, Bellow and Cordelia, but the other two don't share the same interest in each other. A shrunken Stirfry pleads to get his original body back, and Pebis forces him to confess a secret to bring him back. He admits that if any of the party got in his way, he would kill them, sparking some shock and distrust among the party. Albee slaps him, knocking his beak completely off his face. Stirfry experiments and finds that his entire body can come apart in pieces due to Pebis' meddling. Bellow attempts to have them continue towards Brian Doyle Falls, but the goblins mention that Frederick was lying to the group and actually leading them back towards Polaris University.

Pebis directs the conversation until the party learns that he is actively not killing them despite how easy it would be. He points out that none of the demons have been killing them, only trying to stall and contain them under Lexicon Matters' orders. The spell he is using to keep things as they are requires a focus that he keeps in Hell, and he doesn't want the party to be able to reach it.

Having overcome Pebis' powers, he informs them that they are owed one boon. After much debate, they decide to have The Witch Hunters forget that they exist just before Pebis is summoned away through a gateway showing Virginia, who had recently left The Witch Hunters. The seagull assassin demands that they kill or free her, with the destroyed net still holding control over her. She is mauled and wounded by Flipcup and a frustrated Albee, but ultimately Albee allows her to come back and kill her some other day.

Cordelia wishes to leave the party and travel on her own. Stirfry convinces everyone to have a meal and sleep on their decision. They awaken bound and upside down, captured in their sleep by a troll named Jesus Christ. They attempt to bargain for their freedom but end up fighting their way out. Jesus Christ swallows Albee whole, cuing Bellow to leapt after her. Cordelia follows, but her larger body clogs the troll's throat. Stifry commands the rats under his control to swarm down the troll's throat and pull them out, starting to choke the troll. He suffocates as the party pulls back out and he is eaten alive by rats. All the while, the goblinized de Bonesby explored Jesus Christ's "other hole" and meets a wise man, briefly banters over his wisdom, and then leaves.

The party escapes the erupting troll and Cordelia agrees to stay with the party... but not because Prolapse said to.

## Links

* Episode: https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/goblin-mode
Cenibite Structures

A member of The Virtuous Bandits. He has long blonde hair and his personality is that he's hot.

When J.W. Marriot accuses the party of cheating on their morality tests, he overhears them insisting that cheating is a form of teamwork. The moral paradox causes him to die.

While this does not seem out of place for The Virtuous Bandits, he is the only one who shatters to pieces when he hits the ground.
Chamomile Yaley

One of the most spoiled senators in Payola. He was found murdered by the Peacekeepers.

He insists on being carried around by the city's broadest men. He is always under a parasol when outdoors. Some say it is because he's a vampire but Touch Rustrod knows that it's because he just hates the sun.

## Trivia

* Chamomile's name is spelled like the tea but pronounced "ka-ma-mwah." It is unknown why Branson did this.
Carly Monardo

Carly Monardo is an artist and performer. She plays Albeara "Albee" Dawn in Rude Tales of Magic and is married to Christopher Hastings (Frederick de Bonesby).

She ran the one shot game Beans and Revelry,

## Characters

* Albee Dawn
* Torrin
* Surfboard
* Hothuzula
* Hermey the elf/David from Love Actually
* Dr Amy Mistertumnus/Amdelda Chicken
* Stephanie Santangelo Gooch
* Della and Jim/Colonel Sanders
* Edgica
* Catwoman/Artemis
Buddy Badnews

The acting caption of The S.S. Bad News. His older brother Pally Badnews became cursed and boarded the steamboat, becoming unable to leave. Learning of this, Buddy found a way to curse himself so he could board the ship. Finding that Pally had tried to murder the former captain and would be cursed to become the new captain, Buddy took it upon himself by stomping the dying captain to death instead.

Buddy is a stern and worn out man, slightly stockier than his brother but shorter. The party finds him long-since submitted to the ways of the ship, making no effort to escape having seen so many fail. He is always concerned for his brother for how often he gets into trouble, which causes resentment between them.

Their ongoing feud and avoidance of each other angers Philadelphio, the god of siblings. The party manages to orchestrate the brothers reuniting and urging them to explain themselves before apologizing to each other. This breaks the curse and allows the party to leave while the brothers stay aboard and talk once again.

## Trivia

* Buddy and Pally were named by their parents for the idea of friendship.
* Buddy is secretive about what curse he bears and how he obtained it to get on the ship.
* Buddy is the first of the brothers to apologize over their dispute.
* He is loosely based on Humphrey Bogart
Blood Tales of Depravity

*"Ah! There you are, officer. I didn't hear you come in from the sound of my wine-fueled bubble bath. Come in. Rest your feet. Put your feet by the INVERTED FIRE! And I have what you so desperately seek: blood tales of depravity!"*

An episode originally recorded for the Rude Tales of Magic Patreon. Branson Reese runs a game of Vampire: The Masquerade for Taylor Moore, Joe Lepore, Christopher Hastings, Carly Monardo, and Ali Fisher.

It was later released to the public on October 6th, 2020.

## Party

Joe Lepore as Nicholas Montenegro

Ali Fisher as Franky Chesterfield

Christopher Hastings as Rudolph Lichenburg

Taylor Moore as Alistair Lemarsh

Carly Monardo as Hothuzula

## Summary

On midnight in the year 2020, the party gathers at The Leather Spiderweb vampire bar for their own various reasons. After mingling with various characters, a deep-voiced vampiric child appears to offer a bounty on another. They accept the hit put on Ingenue Damnation, who is threatening to reveal vampires to the news and breaking The Masquerade. With what limited intel they have, they are sent to track her down at 45th and 10th in Hell's Kitchen (by The Yotel). They travel by Franky's car when they are approached by another bounty hunting vampire Beardrix. They knock him off his motorcycle before he can actually talk to them.

After dealing with a few tourists, the party interrogates the man at the front desk to find that Ingenue is operating on the roof to hold her press conference. They find the floor in magical darkness, where a masked figure leads them to the roof on a stairwell made of bones. They find Ingenue and a cloaked circle of allies, announcing to them that she has grown weary of her long lifespan but cannot die no matter what she tries. A news helicopter arrives and Rudolph distracts them by proclaiming that this is his latest artistic masterpiece. Ingenue tries to tell them about vampires but Hothuzula lifts her up so that her head is torn off by the helicopter. Before it can reattach, Franky throws a spare hamburger from her pocket into her throat. Ingenue chokes on it and appears to die. The news team warns that the party has made a mighty enemy and flies away.

Ingenue awakens from her brief death-like state and asks what happened. They tell her that she succeeded in revealing their secret, and filled with grief she hurls herself from the rooftop. She survives this as well, but the party decides that they can simply scoop up her pieces long enough to imprison her with the vampiric authorities. The check-in clerk runs out to catch Nicholas and begging to go with him as his new minion, replacing Devont. They reveal their name to be Devontess.

## Link

https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/bonus-blood-tales-of-depravity
Blade of Eternal Slumber

A magical weapon wielded by Bellow in Come Glide With Me. He does not specify where he got it from beyond that it happened off the podcast on some side adventure in the James Woods.

The weapon puts the target to sleep over and over again, falling deeper and deeper into their slumber. The blade was made from the flesh of the first sleeper.

He wields it against the attacking gliding men, throwing it into the chest of one. It costs him the blade, since it disintegrates in The Skin-Eating Storm. Bellow misses the weapon, noting that Lord Dreamstar will be disappointed to hear of this.
Danny Timeshare

*"Anybody who tells you they know everything is fulla shit."*

The god of vacation, who first appears in the episode Pack Your Bags. Formerly a god of travel, he was absorbed into the Cordelian pantheon as a "medium" god of vacation. He appear as a tiny, 60-year-old man in tropical clothes.

He is a lesser-known deity but still very powerful. His faith emphasizes comfort, partying, travel and being chill. It was Bellow's mellow nature that drew his attention and made him decide to choose him as a cleric of his teachings. He grants Bellow a puka shell necklace, which Bellow happily promises to never remove. He initially offers him some permanent sunscreen over his nose as a sign of his faith but Bellow maintains that the necklace would fit his look.

He resides in his realm of alcohol, water slides, and sunny weather on a permanent vacation. Danny is excessively and proudly laid back to the point of failing to notice or remember many details of his encounters. He points out that he has been to Hell but has little to say about it beyond it being unpleasant. He hosts karaoke with other gods in his realm.

Following the path of Danny's teachings is referred to as Vacationism. As a more laid back deity, Danny is not very strict with his worshipers. At the same time, he is also prone to be distracted or busy enjoying himself when prayers are sent to him. Like most deities, he's less prone to help those who don't worship him when he does intervene and not above smiting those that displease him.

## Danny's Tenants

1. “It’s 5 o'clock everywhere.”
2. “We’re here for a good time, not a long time.”
3. “There is no rule number three.”
4. “Changes in latitude, changes in attitude.”
5. “Hell, could be my fault.”

## Trivia

* Scrum North is mentioned as an abandoned temple to a forgotten or absorbed god. In Rude Talks of Chatting, Branson confirms that this was a temple to the god of travel that Danny Timeshare was before he joined the main pantheon. Bellow's arrival was what allowed him to reach his future cleric.
* He is largely inspired by Jimmy Buffet.
* Danny was featured on the limited time mug for Trouble In Paradise.
* Danny is often assisted by Orlando and Myrtle, two flamingo aarakocra. He also employs his herald, a scarlet macaw with a halo of puka shells named Anaheim.
* When Danny was a god of travel, he was depicted as a gray figure with a crossroad sign for a head, each sign ending in an eye.
* Danny is ancient enough to have possessed many forms and roles. Before being the god of travel, he was the god of ticket scalping. Earlier still, he was a god of puddles.

## Quotes

* *"Somewhere far from here, in a dimension that bears and uncanny resemblance to our own Myrtle Beach, Danny Timeshare looks up from a game of mini golf and waves his hand before hitting a flamingo-pink golf ball into the eye socket of a long-forgotten god's skull. For two under par!"*
* *"If this is the worst conversation we have, that's a pretty good relationship! A lot of gods, like, take people's eyes and stuff!"*
Arrivals

*Strangers in even stranger lands, the gang must risk their lives (and then some) to discover if their new guide is friend, foe, or some new category (froend) in between. But in a place so turvy topsy, what is a friend? What is family? And with a family like this...who needs enemies? Or families? Or even friends? Wait a second, some of those are good. But which ones? WHO DO I SHOOT!?*

## Summary:

Naughty Nico assures the party that he is still Nicotine Tones, but only partially corrupted by the sands of Brian Doyle Falls. He still offers to escort the party through town if they expose themselves to a single grain of sand. The party eventually agrees, feeling more lax and wearing more beach-themed clothing. They follow Nico through a tropical parody of Bellow’s home town, recognizing familiar spots altered by the strange vacation reality. Nico pauses to determine their best route when Bellow attempts to play some nearby skee-ball. He rolls a gutter ball, warping the party into the middle of the ocean as punishment. Frederick teleports back to shore and scores enough points to warp them back with Stirfry’s help.

The party travels onward, entering Vacci’s Pizza. It has been warped into Vacci’s Beach Pizza, where Vacci ominously offers them food at a terrible price. Bellow orders a sausage pizza anyway. They confirm that touching or consuming anything from the beach itself proves dangerous, as Bellow begins changing colors until Albee slaps the pizza out of his hands. They arrive at the Gorramael household, now a large novelty skull in a giant miniature golf course. Bellow tries to step between its moving jaws, but it painlessly bit in half. The party reattaches his halves, but his legs are stiff metal rods like those of a lawn flamingo.

Bellow greets and introduces his family. They are alive but feared that he was dead as well, despite showing knowledge of Polaris University. Bellow’s mother Mona was turned into a plastic flamingo, admitting to having eaten Vacci’s pizza too. They catch up with each other and Albee admits to his sisters that she loves Bellow. Cordelia grows uncomfortable with the situation and summons Cheddar. She confides in him that this is the family and home life she wants for Albee before returning to reality to tell Albee that she’s “un-dibsing” her.

The emotional moments are interrupted as the toilet flushes upstairs. Chlorinated water floods down the stairs before Danny Timeshare manifests on a beach towel. He greets Bellow warmly before menacingly adding that he “just couldn’t take a hint.”

## Links:

* Episode: https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/arrivals
Cardboard Junior

A Level 10 dwarven Project Manager. He appears in Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night where he is part of the team required to organize the company's New Year's Eve party.

He served in the military before lying on his resume and joining Flammable Rock Holdings. He was once in love with a woman named Booboo, but she fell for another man while he was in the royal army. He seems to loudly accept his fate as a cuckold. He is currently dating a woman named She-Ra, though everyone previously assumed he made her up.

## Trivia

* Cardboard got his position by lying on his resume. He claimed to own the rights to Binky Barns Bobo and posed it as having run a small business. It is apparently "a dog or something" mascot he intended to put on ice cream cones and children's merchandise.
Elizareth

The aunt of the author of The Below Folk. The first page of the book dedicates it to her, apologizing for “stealing the B in her name and replacing it with an R," leading to believe that her name was originally Elizabeth.

The writer also apologize for turning her skull into candy, leading to the constant problem of her head being eaten by children.
Bamantha

The body pillow of Tactical Papers. It/she is his date to The Power Ball, where she wears a bug mask of her own. Tactical treats her like she is a living person and expects others to pretend the same if it comes up in conversation (it will).

During Rude Talks of Magic, Branson Reese confirms that Tactical dropped goat juice on her. This affected her with Unhittable Babylon Brown's curse, turning her into a body pillow with a picture of a bug.
Big Frank

A tiny mosquito vampire played by Ali Fisher. They appear in the episode HALLOWEEN SPECIAL: Blood Tales of Depravity 2: Mummy Issues.

Frank's kind is ancient, claiming to be the ones that turned harmless mosquitos into blood-suckers. While almost invisibly small, they can still drink an enormous amount of blood. The more they consume, the bigger Frank becomes until they are the size of a skyscraper.

## Trivia

* Big Frank is similar to Franky Chesterfield, another vampire with Frank in their name played by Ali Fisher.
Carlito Masterbandit

A drow con-man who tries to swindle the party out of their gem and cloak. He poses as a humble spider farmer running spiders for the mob after the party kills some wild giant spiders. He claims he now owes a debt to the local mafia, Bad Boys United. When the party begins to agree to his deal to take their gem and Count Ivan Gretsky's cloak, he preemptively gloats in triumph. Bellow reminds him that they haven't handed them over yet and Carlito pleads for them. The party simply runs away and Carlito quickly gets winded, swearing revenge behind them.

The party meets him later after returning to the Teenaged Woods. In It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Cottage, he appears disguised as Bodega Dean Stanton, a jolly Santa-like figure who invites them into his cottage for warm drinks. His disguise is eventually revealed and he announces that he has been waiting and training to kill them in revenge for foiling him. The party fights and kills hims, setting his spiders free.
Froggy Creek

*"Population: all of us."*

A town populated by creatures that are variously part possum and part human. Their people originated in the coupling of man and possum, leading to their varied levels of hybridization. It's a sleepy swamp town near The Kay River where they live off fishing and scavenging vegetables. The locals are quite friendly despite encountering violence from travelers for their strange appearance. The town assigns jobs to those who most desire them. The mayor Boss Possum wished to do the least amount of work and Toothbrush the librarian loved books the most. Even the local child who wished to be a kid remains young forever (nobody's sure how that one worked).

The party reaches the town in Call Me Late to Dinner. They are brought in as guests for dinner, only to discover that the locals received wanted posters with their bounties. After mistakenly thinking they were going to eat them, the party fights and flees their way out back to the river. The locals still alert the Witch Hunters, causing them to lock down the nearby roads.

## Residents

* Boss Possum
* Marionette
* Fairhope
* Toothbrush
* Boiled Peanuts
* Giblet
Austin

Austin is a human man staying at the Jurisdiction hotel when the party intrudes during the episode Jurisdiction. He has aged past his prime, commonly has nightmares, has been divorced from his wife three times, and dresses like an orthodontist.

Cordelia breaks into their room to hide from the guards, startling Austin awake. His wife Geraldine assures him it’s another one of his nightmares until his repeated complaints drive her to threaten him with their fourth divorce. When he investigates and finds Cordelia and Bellow hiding in the shower together, he simply goes back to bed assuming it’s one of his nightmares.

They are committed to divorcing the next day when the rest of the party barges in. De Bonesby poses as the hotel’s “spooky” housekeeping and proclaims their room to be dirty, confiscating some of Austin’s clothes for cleaning.

When the party flees the scene, the couple share a moment of excitement after realizing they can still make sparks after all these years. The intruders unwittingly save their marriage.
Champagne Champagne

*“Hey, yall! Happy birthday!”*

A high elf sorcerer/rogue (Champagne Champagne sounds unsure on which) in The Riddled Remnant. She wields a crossbow she named New Years Eve because she counts down from ten before she fires it. She is frequently drunk on an unclear substance that she calls champagne. She is voiced by Erin Keif, their guest from Hey Riddle Riddle.

Champagne Champagne is ready to kill the party on sight in revenge for their fallen comrades, but ultimately agrees to wait through the trials. She spends most of them hanging out with Stirfry and sharing her potent champagne (and the resulting halucinations) with him. When they are attacked by Doctor Dilemma, she decides that she's too drunk/high to fight and gives Cordelia her crossbow to combine into a single weapon. Doctor Dilemma's arrow nearly kills Professor Chomps, but she throws herself in the way. She dies with the party sending her off with a round of Happy Birthday, but not before she critiques their singing. The party removes the arrow that kills her and use it to kill Doctor Dillemma.

## Trivia

* Albee was the first person to ever say Happy Birthday to her (at least that Champagne can recall).
* Champagne Champagne pays little attention to what she eats. When Professor Chomps activates his magnetic field, she is dragged along stomach-first because she had been unwittingly eating metal.
Alistair Lemarsh

A deformed Nosferatu vampire played by Taylor Moore in Blood Tales of Depravity. He is a scheming and stealthy vampire often prying for secrets and information while trying to raise his own social standing. He is a "blood leech," meaning that he can only feed off of other vampires.

## Assets and Abilities

* A well-stocked haven in the sewers
* Speaks with animals
Floating Wolf Orb

The demon wife of Charles Manson Riley. As her name suggests, she looks like a floating sphere of wolf heads. She and Charles are happily in love and have raised many children.

Charles introduces the party to her after his river tour. He calls her a “Hell expert,” and she shares what she knows about Hell and Polaris University. She greatly appreciates the college and got a degree after joining Mothra Tau Delta.
Normal Michael

A cool-looking human, friend of the gliding men, and identical brother to Demonstrating Michael. He runs a smuggling operating, gliding travelers over The Skin-Eating Storm when the Witch Hunters turn it into a checkpoint. He helps the party sneak into the Teenage Woods.

## Trivia

* The members of the Micheal family all look alike.
* While they share a last name, it is unclear if he shares any relation to Miracle Michael.
* Normal is a man of strong beliefs about freedom, but does not believe in any religion or god despite their obvious presence.
* When given the choice to curse one person, Normal wishes to curse Hot Roddy who bullied him while passing through the area.
Corncob Drone

An 18-year old dwarf who has been working since birth. He serves as a watchman in the town square of Toilton, ensuring that nobody wakes the town snorer. Corncob is a simple dwarf who dreams to one day go to a pool. He had just turned 18 when Bellow met him, which he believes gives him the right to curse.

Corncob intercepts the party when they try to investigate the snorer during their mission to introduce vacations to Toilton. Corncob gradually warms up to the idea but directs them to the town's boss Downtown Squirt.

By the end of Workin' Hard, the party creates a swimming pool in town, helping him fulfill his dream.
Bodega Dean Stanton

*"Buyers are cowards. Salesmen are courageous."*

An alter ego used for Carlito Masterbandit’s disguise in It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Cottage. He is portrayed as a rosy-cheeked, warm and gentle person who loves manners and kindness. He appears as a heavyset man with a white beard.

He invites the party to his cozy cabin to rest and heal. The party grows suspicious of him and pieces together his identity when they conspiracy board about them.

Much about Bodega’s behavior, holiday decor, laugh, and just about everything else resembles Santa Claus.
Gareth

A dwarf with a pompadour who lives at Sigma Sigma Sigma. He proudly claims that he was kicked out of his mountain home for being as bad as he is today. He hassles Bellow for not being a bad boy like the rest of their fraternity, frustrated that Bellow wishes to be a bad boy who d
oes good things.

Gareth leaves with their brothers to get more beer, but he presumably disappeared with the rest of Polaris University.
Downtown Squirt

A businesslike dwarf and boss of Toilton, the mining town obsessed with work. Downtown is fiercely proud of his productivity and efficiency as a boss, despite making his employees work non-stop. He is a minor antagonist in Workin' Hard. He lives in uptown.

Bellow and his friends reach his office to explain the concept of breaks and vacations. He is hesitant at first, but when he finally understands, he decides that this is too dangerous to let loose among the citizens. He warns that he cannot let them tell the public, only to be shoved out the window by Prolapse. He falls to his death while shouting for Bellow to tell the people of vacation.
Call Me Late to Dinner

Soup's up! Come and get it! After a brutal few days on their inexorable odyssey north along the mighty Kay River, our heroes are finally given room, board, shelter, mercy, grace, a warm welcome, the red carpet, succor, respite, and a place to lay those weary bones. Why, it looks like the denizens of picaresque bayou town Froggy Creek simply cannot wait to...have...our heroes....for dinner? Wait a minute.

## Summary

The party travels along the Kay River, talking amongst themselves. Stirfry steals some steaks off passing travelers and Bellow and Albee start to talk fondly over their shared kiss on The S.S. Bad News. They are interrupted when an alligator leaps out of the river and grabs Stifry, initiating a fight that’s quickly settled when Frederick uses Shocking Grasp. The electricity kills several nearby fish, and when Stirfry tries to collect one he finds it attached to a fishing line. It leads to Boiled Peanuts, a young possum-man who greets them happily. He offers to let them take the fish but they are charmed into joining him for dinner.

Boiled Peanuts leads them to his sleepy town of Froggy Creek, populated by various hybrids of man and possum. The group makes themselves at home while their mayor Boss Possum greets them, insisting they stay for dinner. He makes several ominous food references towards them as Albee suspects they’re planning to eat them and keeps an eye out with Bellow.

Stirfry heads to the kitchen where he meets the mayor’s sister Marionette. They quickly hit it off and make out in between preparing the food. The others suspect foul play and rush in to save him, only to awkwardly realize it’s not the case. Frederick consults Toothbrush, the possum man who owns the library, to refresh his books and learn the details of The Kay River and its routes leading to Brian Doyle Falls and The Teenage Woods. All the while, Boiled Peanuts keeps running in the shadows to an unknown location.

Growing more concerned, Bellow finally addresses Boss Possum with his concerns. Shocked by the realization he’d been using so many food metaphors, he insists this is not the case and that it’s been his odd mannerisms for life. Cordelia uses her dark vision to track Boiled Peanuts, who checks under a tent to consult something before leaving. When she asks about it, the mayor firmly insists they do not go there or they will be hurt.

When dinner rolls around, the town holds their traditional two minutes of total silence to remember those lost in the war (and also the benefits of war). The party uses the moment to sneak off and check on the tent. Bellow finds a series of stones with their faces carved into them along with Hot Roddy, listing their various crimes and massive bounties along with a stone to be used to alert the Witch Hunters. Marionette appears, threatening to ring the dinner bell on them after Stirfry abandoned their fleeting love affair. Stirfry starts to talk her down before throwing a knife into her heart, but he still triggers the bell trying to catch it. The possum people swarm after them trying to claim the bounty but they flee and fight their way to the river, diving in to swim to safety.
Forbidden Zone

A term used to refer to Polaris University after its disappearance. The space is feared and presumed empty by those who don't remember the school, and they believe that anyone who was sent there did so to die. Casper and Albee's family remember holding a funeral for her, but they don't remember why or how she'd died by going there when they give it any thought due to the school being wiped from their memories.

The Forbidden Zone remains a mysterious enough location that some have committed themselves to studying its history, gathering vague contexts concerning Polaris. Rainn Anatomies assumes that The Forbidden Zone was once a prison for children.
Bearowl

An original monster created by Branson Reese, the bearowl is the opposite of an owlbear. That is, a bear's head on an owl's body. They are dog-sized flying creatures that are extremely territorial. They lay eggs and tend to nest in trees, attacking in swarms. As the opposite of owlbears, they are enraged by the the sound of a pan flute (or possibly just Shave and A Haircut).

The bearowls are products of experiments by Poopus and Mother in combing animals together. Poopus warns Stirfry not to become attached to his newborn pet bearowl Flipcup, claiming they will "break your heart."

 The party encounters a swarm of them shortly after encountering Count Ivan Gretsky in the episode Down for the Count. They are unable to slay them all before they are rescued by Count Ivan's swarm of bats.
Detritus Cole

The human prosecutor during the trial of Bladen Corpse. He is Judge Alamo Gold's preferred lawyer and partner for his skill in the courtroom. He handily wins his case thanks to the abundant evidence in his favor. Butter actually only makes his client look even more guilty by defending him.

He returns to have Deli released after being arrested for killing a horse. He has very shiny hair, which Deli immediately steals a chunk out of. He takes this in stride, shrugging at the camera and saying "The law is the law!"

During the events of The Power Ball, Alamo reveals that his spot is left vacant after he was hospitalized by Deli's attack. Snake later points out that he died from his injuries.

He is one of several that Branson Reese declares as possibly "the best NPC."
Encyclopedia Cordelia

A series of short patreon-exclusive audio documentaries set in the world of Cordelia . The shorts are narrated in-universe by Thimbit Leavings , a mage and historian who shares all that he's gleaned from books and interviews with "the extremely elderly."

Encyclopedia Cordelia is written by Branson Reese and produced by Taylor Moore.
Leafy Green Surprise

A massive Sasquatch who lives at The Woods Beyond the Woods. She has an interest in short guys, which is convenient for her because of how much shorter else everyone is.

She takes an interest in Frederick de Bonesby during his visit. When he approaches her for an awkward conversation, she picks him up and takes him up a tree. De Bonesby experiments with his newly forming flesh and loses his virginity, developing a crush on her.
Bugbear

A large and hairy race of humanoids in Cordelia. While monstrous and aggressive, many live comfortably among humans. Bugbears are assigned their names based on their deeds and personality traits. Pumice, for example, got his name when he floated in a lake after being accused to being a witch.

Bugbears also have distinctly different standards of beauty than humans and other races. They prefer a more savage appearance while Hammerhair, who can pass for a beautiful woman, is seen as disgusting and shunned by her kind.
Alfred Dawn

Albee and Casper's father and husband to Beatrix Dawn. He is an aging, gray-haired faun with a gut he's been trying to lose and his fur thinning at the top of his head. During Albee's supernatural absence, her parents were abducted by Scrum Fabulous. While treated as guests, they were magically bound to Scrum’s Pad so that Scrum could use them as leverage and make Albee perform a favor for their freedom.

Alfred acts out of touch with the younger generation, misusing terms or restraining himself from using inappropriate jokes. He does find Stirfry hilarious, and boasts that he studied some magic in his younger days.
Jason Baby

A gravely-voiced human that had recently joined The Witch Hunters. He stars in the episode The Thin Black Line and is played by Christopher Hastings.

Due to the results of Pebis' boon, Witch Hunters were cursed to forget that hot people existed. Being a handsome man himself, he forgot most of his life and believes he is only 2 days old. Despite all this, he is very capable with a sword and shield. He is very curious, and chooses his forgotten name to be Jason Baby.

He joins The Witch Hunters unit, but after his first day of assignment at Ottersquirt, he boards a ship to head to the capital. It happens to be the boat that the party boards and he is quicky killed when Stirfry snaps his neck. This alters his brain enough that in his dying moments, he remembers his real name was Jason Hastings.

## Trivia

* Jason's assigned number in the Witch Hunters is 247.
Elvira Romansky

A brown-haired human and the wife of Nog Romansky. Not much is known about her besides her distaste for her husband. Historians have quoted her on calling him weak and pathetic, to the point where some believed she had a hand in his ultimate assassination. She attends The Power Ball with him as his guest wearing the mask of a cat.

Her ultimate fate is unknown, but she was noted for vanishing shortly after the fall of the empire.
Ebenezer Whitehead

A well-dressed human and sometimes mayor of Ruleshaven. He approaches the party in the episode The Ringer after Bellow rearranges the rules of Ruleshaven. He has a daughter Tamany Whitehead who is inexplicably cursed to become a spider when nobody looks at her.

He speaks for the part of the city that remains confused about the details of Bellow's laws and brings him to city hall to clarify. He remains confused as to whether or not he’s still the mayor after the new laws. He is also very eager to declare and discover new rules within those rules based on Bellow’s requests.

Fearing for the backlash from Danica Town, he attempts to convince Bellow to allow him to declare war on them. Bellow refuses and attempts to maintain peace between the cities, but when Ebenezer leads him back to the belltower, he stabs Bellow and knocks him out before he can put his newest laws in place. Mayor Whitehead tells the people of Ruleshaven that Bellow killed himself from the pressure of making these rules and rings the bell himself. He proclaims himself as Ordelia’s sole emissary in Ruleshaven, taking on all her bestowed godly power and magically ruling the city as he pleases. Bellow barely survives the stabbing and throws his tinderbox to ring the bell for one last law: being the embodiment of a god within Ruleshaven is punishable by death. Ebenezer promptly explodes and his flaming remains start the fire that burns down the bell tower.
Gill

The Creature From the Black Lagoon who appears in HALLOWEEN SPECIAL: Blood Tales of Depravity 2: Mummy Issues. He is a pathetic creature who craves to be accepted by other monsters. He steals food from The Copafirebadna enough that he knows the regulars. He approaches the party in The Empty Neck to get help against the mummies and their plot.

He can breathe underwater and swims very well, but isn't much use in a fight.
Bento

A monk and teacher at Polaris University. He is Albee's advisor who tries to convince her to not pursue becoming a monk of the four elements. He is overly cautious about touching students because he underwent some vague romantic relationship with one in the past that ended poorly. He is described as middle-aged with graying hair and olive skin.

He once dreamed of being seven feet tall, but he gave up on this dream.

## Quotes

* *"You need to break down your dreams, and your wants, and your desires and you need to be one with the present moment. Having a dream is not being one with the present moment. Having a dream is being one with a future moment that may or may not ever come."*

## Trivia

* Bento shares the dream of becoming taller with Amber-Ale Assembleaux. Amber-Ale, however, took it to greater extremes. He dreamed of being the tallest man in the world, augmenting his body to achieve this and having his father murdered for doubting this as a possibility.
Anaheim

Danny Timeshare's herald. They are a scarlet macaw that appears in Danny's stead to deliver his messages. They possess a halo made of puka shells, which are capable of illuminating with the brightness of a sun.

They appear to the party when they enter Brian Doyle Falls, offering them their heart's desires. They were also present when Danny first appeared to the residents of the town.
Andreas Redchapel

A catholic priest and the ship's pope aboard The Lusty Conversation. A devout holyman, he believes firmly against mermaids and polygamy. He maintains a garden and a small church on the ship, leaping at the chance to spread the good word of Christ and convert a new soul.

Andreas ultimately converts and ordains a leviathan. To obtain the holy water required, he throws himself into the ocean and dies converting it completely into holy water. The divine blessing makes Catholic God smile and saves the souls of every mermaid in The Spitting Sea.
Double Daddy’s Got A Million

A young male griffon that Frederick de Bonesby named in his youth. It was bred in the de Bonesby family’s famous griffon farms. Its wings were underdeveloped, making it less than ideal for the family’s standards of prestigious racing griffons.

During a flashback, Otto de Bonesby was unhappy with his son showing affection to it and ordered him to kill it with his bare hands. His exact fate is unknown, but it is implied that it traumatized Frederick and helped turn him callous and hesitant to connect with others.

Frederick named him in hopes that he'd be such a stud griffon that he would be a double daddy. Otto bitterly states that he would never be as great as his prized griffon, Gentleman Jazz.
Gerry Mentlegen

*My name is Gerry Mentlegen and nothing in this woild*

*Pisses me off near half as bad as when my diaper's soiled*

I *wish that I was potty-trained, t'would be my fondest joy*

*To be finally a comfortable boy (comfortable boy)*

*To be finally a comfortable boy (comfortable boy)*

A 4'11" ratman who lives in the cellar of The Delighted Wife. He is an information broker who introduces himself through song. As the song suggests, he is genuinely upset with his lack of toilet training and wears a diaper. He gives every group one piece of information for free, but beyond that, he charges 10 gold pieces per word.

The party finds him looking for Albee's family, but are unwilling to pay his price. Remembering his song, they decide to teach him how to use the toilet. After three hours of strenuous effort, they agree that they cannot teach him this quickly. He appreciates their faith and efforts and gives them the information they need. They leave him on good terms, wishing him luck and leaving him with a new song about pooping and peeing to encourage himself. While we do not learn about any further progress, Bellow asked that The Witch Hunter send someone to check on him before they leave The Soaking Valley.

When the party traverses the sewers of Ruleshaven, the party encountered The Rat King. He threatens to eat them before Bellow insists that they have the blessing of the Soaking Valley rats. Stirfry echoes Gerry's song, and they claim to be the only people to ever potty train a rat to win the king's favor.

## Trivia

* Gerry worships Polaris despite going against her practices by pissing wherever he stands.
* Gerry likes both Senator Pepsi and Moira Thousand and does not desire them to be blamed for the information he gives out. While their arrangement is unclear, Gerry and Moira Thousand are both aware of each other. Moira doesn't seem to mind him so long as nobody finds out she has a giant ratman living in her cellar.
* Gerry's name and song are both nods to the song *God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.*
* Gerry is half-man, half-rat in terms of his lineage. When mentioning the fact, he immediately adds that his father is in prison. He can sense Stirfry's crown of the rat king, but doesn't feel fully compelled by it.
Gladhands

*"The only father I know is jesting and the only mother I know, satire. My uncles be tumbles and me aunt be a cartwheel. Who am I?"*

A foppish jester dressed all in motley who performs for Smellulus in Come At the King: The Final Chapter. Since he appears in the finale of the story, this entry contains spoilers.

After Smellulus causes so much trouble on his first day as emperor, Sundown Samara hires Gladhands to perform and distract him all day. This works very well at first, delighting him. As Smellulus gets more demanding for specific jokes and commentary on his humor, Gladhands decides to quit and face literal torture instead of suffer through Smellulus' treatment any further.

## Trivia

* Gladhands claims to have performed for Nog Romansky as well, but this may have been a means of manipulating Smellulus for approval.
* Gladhands was already being tortured before he was ordered to entertain Smellulus. The reasons for this are unknown.
* The term gladhand can mean a warm (if potentially forced or insincere) greeting.
Wet Food

Wet Food is a song sung by Erin Markey as Trash Kitty and Vicky as a backup dancer during the lobby of the game as entertainment. The song is pre recorded and not live.

### Lyrics

Trash Kitty's the one who was there before me.

She's shy and she's clean and she's the color of a stormy

Night on the Hudson when the sky's so mean,

And raindrops fall like grenades into the sea.

But she likes eating wet food,

She likes eating wet food.

She likes eating wet food all day long.

Grown up eating dry food,

Now she's eating wet food.

This many cans of wet food can't be wrong.

//

When I moved in it was a one cat town.

In a small apartment,

Three is a crowd.

Vicky's mommy was homeless

Living in the street.

So my roommate took Vicky,

Said "I know what she'll eat".

Wet food, wet food.

//

Little kittens scratch and little kittens bite.

Little kittens grow up to be cats overnight.

When a cat bares its claws,

That cat is the law.

Sheriff Vicky isn't picky about pricking skin.

She'll draw blood just to distract so she can get you again.

Tell the doctor to clear a room,

Cause I'm moving in.

//

But she likes eating wet food,

sShe likes eating wet food.

She likes eating wet food all night.

Grown up eating dry food,

Now she's eating wet food.

This many cans of wet food can't be right.

//

I can't live here no more,

There isn't room for four.

I got my toothbrush and a nightie and I said adios.

You pick me or you pick Vicky but you can't have us both.

He said "Baby, you do you, but before you go,

Why not try this wet food?

You might like this wet food.

There's more than plenty wet food for us all."

//

I cried eating wet food.

'Cause I realized eating wet food,

That family is family and games are games.

When I'm near wet food I get hunger pains.

There's never a can't, there's always a can.

Wet food makes me want to be a better man.

So build your dreams on wet food from now on.

Build your dreams on wet food,

From now on.
Abigail

A sheepish beekeeper and Lia Chesterfield's "less fortunate" cousin in the one-shot episode, Beans and Revelry. She has feelings for Lord Dudley Darlington Goodge that cause a series of whimsical ruses and misunderstandings when she receives the ceremonial dry pea in her slice of cake at a 12th Day of Christmas party. Lancelot Platt proposes to her at the party to draw the attention of their true love interests, but he abandons the plan when he gets the attention he wants.

Ultimately, Dudley's jealousy and her confession spurs him to propose to her. They end up in a triple wedding with her dear cousin Lia.
Daniel Load

An exceptionally dopey human wearing a dunce cap. He attends Riddle Guy in hopes of becoming the new Riddle Guy, offering himself as a sacrifice so that he'll cry the hardest. Daniel laughs at nearly anything, but quickly becomes shy when shown the slightest attention.

Stirfry convinces him to escape the sacrificial sphinx with him and Conrad Montcroy by telling him that he can watch himself burn from the outside and tell everyone how hard he cried. He manages to get Daniel to pass his thief's tools to him to allow him to break his bonds and lead their escape.
Boiled Peanuts

A small possum boy who lived in Froggy Creek. He spends his days napping and fishing at the nearby Kay River.
The party grabs onto a fish he caught after escaping an alligator. He leads them back to town to share dinner with them, but he warns the mayor of them before running off. The party later discovers he had been consulting stones bearing wanted posters of them and another used to alert the authorities for the bounty.
Ali Fisher

Ali is a performer and editor. She plays Cordelia Sasquatch in Rude Tales of Magic.

## Characters

* Cordelia Sasquatch
* Deli
* Franky Chesterfield
* Lia Chesterfield
* Lucy van Pelt/Gizmo
* Doctor Meredith Gray
* Bearbara
* Stephanie Zinone/Rowan
* Doctor Meredith Gray/Ordy
* Frankie Fielder
* Big Frank
* Mercari
* Neil
* Xena/Ares

## Trivia

* Many of her characters have some variation or fragment of Cordelia in their name.