Happosai (Black Rose, Blue Thunder)

## Biography

After escaping from the cave he was sealed in Happosai made his way to Furinkan where his antics attracted the attention of Akane As Akane’s teammates begged for her help Happosai ceased in his assault to turn towards Akane with glazed eyes and inspecting her head to toe. There was a very long pause as Happosai glomped onto Akane's chest and all of the athletes were frozen in anticipation and terror as they waited for her reaction. By this point Chocolate had caught up and it seemed that Akane had mistaken Happosai for a barnacle.

After hearing this, there was a huge moment of dead silence as everyone, including Happosai, sweatdropped at Akane's words. Everyone except Chocolate who rushed forward and tried to pry Happosai off of Akane's chest. He refused to let go of Akane and scowling at this, Chocolate produced a big mallet out of nowhere and raised it into the air intending to make Happosai let her go. Akane called Chocolate out for trying to hurt a harmless barnacle. She even named Happosai Barnacle-chan. These words were accompanied by a much shorter sweatdrop as Chocolate looked to all of the athletes for support but they merely shrugged in easy acceptance. Shaking her head, Chocolate thought about attempting to reason with Akane but thought better of it. Then she came to a sudden inspiration.

Chocolate slid closer to Akane and wore her best sensuous smile then started to leave a trail of kisses on her neck and when Akane closed her eyes as she enjoyed the feeling of this, Chocolate whacked Happosai on the top of the head with her mallet, causing it to fall to the ground. Akane was to busy making out with Chocolate to notice. Happosai was furious at being removed from Akane’s chest, but Chocolate was equally to enticed by Akane to notice. Happosai was angered at being ignored, only to be cut off as Chocolate abruptly dropped her heavy mallet on his head so she could place her hands on much more desirable places on Akane's body.

Dusting himself off, Happosai frowned a bit then jumped up on the high wall where he could get a good look at the two girls who were so involved in their make out session. Seeing how attractive Chocolate Happosai forgot bout his anger. That was when Akane and Chocolate found their making out rudely interrupted by a dirty old man glomping onto both of their chests simultaneously. While Akane was surprised that Barnacle-chan could talk a red faced Chocolate pulled out a mallet even larger than her last one and swung at Happosai who merely lifted his finger to send the mallet flying into the air.

Chocolate paused at this display of strength allowing Happosai to properly introduce himself as the master of the Anything Goes School. A moment of silence passed then Akane clapped her hands together realizing that he must know her father. She revealed that Genma was staying with them along with his sons’ when she asked Happosai if he was there to see him or her father. Happosai was disappointed that Genma’s wives weren’t there as well, but he saw Chocolate as a worthy replacement. Happosai got cut off from trying to glomp onto Chocolate when she produced gigantic metal mallet out of nowhere and whacked him hard on the head with it. It was just the start in a long series of assaults that Happosai would have to deal with when it came to her.

Happosai’s next target turned out to be Kodachi. It took her less than a second to react when he gripped her chest. All of Furinkan High, along with most of Nerima, winced at the sound of her supersonic scream. As Ranma plugged up his sore ears Kodachi demanded he get Happosai off of her as she swatted ineffectively at him. With a careless shrug, Ranma bunched his hand into a fist and slammed it into Happosai’s head causing him to fall to the ground. Having thought Happosai was some weird creature upon discovering he was a man, Kodachi reacted in even less time then when he had been glomping her chest, and produced a large mallet out of nowhere and tried to slam it on Happosai.

Only for Happosai to lazily lift up a finger and send the mallet flying into the air causing the three teenagers to look at him in certain surprise. Happosai wondered why none of the ladies were happy at his appreciation of their healthy figures. Ranma told Happosai that they only do so if you’re a handsome young stud like him and you go about expressing your admiration a little more subtly. Narrowing his eyes Happosai asked Ranma who he was calling him impertinent. Ranma stated that ladies find his impertinence charming. Hearing this, Nabiki snorted while Kodachi sidled up to Ranma and grabbed his ear sharply to bring it down to her mouth. She then hissed at Ranma to punish Happosai for what he did to her.

Looking from the old man to his girlfriend, Ranma squinted his gaze a bit before apologizing to Happosai for having to beat him up. Amused Happosai told Ranma that, that wasn’t going to happen and when Ranma asked why, Happosai finally introduced himself. A long moment of silence passed as Nabiki, Kodachi, and Ranma were all left stunned at Happosai declaring himself their master. Ranma was the first to recover and with some disdain told Happosai that he had no master and never would. He lamented that Kodachi and his mothers didn’t count. Happosai explained how he was the one trained Soun and Genma, but Ranma didn’t care. He told Happosai that he wasn’t going to let him train him just because he taught his father. He made the mistake of saying that he learned how to grab onto girls chests along time ago causing Nabiki to slap him in the back of the head.

Nabiki told Ranma to control his ego and hormones she then stepped in front of him to confront Happosai herself. Like Ranma she didn’t believe that Soun would learn anything from him and demanded proof that he was really the master of Anything Goes. Happosai told Nabiki to follow him and she would see for herself just how well he knew her father. With that, the old man leapt into the air and bounded off into the distance but not before glomping a few random girls before he left. By the time they caught up with him at the dojo they heard the sound of loud shouting and almost maniacal laughter echoing throughout the air. Seconds later, Genma pig went flying out of the dojo as they heard Soun shout at him to come back.

Happosai followed him causing Genma pig to immediately fly behind his son in an attempt to hide from the shrunken old man. There was a long tense pause as Ranma narrowed his eyes before bounding over to Happosai, and asking him to teach him how to scare his father like that. While Genma pig squealed indignantly at this, Nabiki could only groan, and Kodachi scowled. Kodachi stamped her foot as she reminded Ranma about defending her honor. Ranma apologized to Happosai for having to beat him up, who welcomed Ranma to try. The following battle consisted of Ranma attempting to hit Happosai and Happosai continually dodging these attacks. All in all, not much of a fight. Something that Kodachi, because she was the only one watching, definitely noticed. An annoyed Kodachi told Ranma to punish Happosai already who told her that he was trying. Scowling at Happpsai Ranma called him out for making him look bad in front of his girl. As he continued to dodge Ranma’s attacks Happosai offered him a deal. He’d allow Ranma to defeat him in front of Kodachi if he did something Genma and Soun could never do steals all the ladies panties in Tokyo for him.

Happosai agreed and moments after he did Ranma delivered what appeared to be a devastating blow that sent him flying into the air while shouting various obscenities about being defeated by a very impertinent Ranma. He ended up landing back at Furinkan High campus where Akane and her athletes stood in a large group talking amongst themselves. Tatewaki was also at school and leaped in to stop Happosai from groping the girls only for Chocolate to beat him to the punch thrashing Happosai by throwing several hundred cannonballs at him and slamming a huge metal mallet into his head. While Tatewaki didn’t recognize her Shampoo sure did. As Chocolate was trying to convince the two that she had changed and not to tell Akane Happosai glomping onto Shampoo's chest. Needless to say this served in distracting the Amazon Champion more than a little bit. And that little bit was just enough time for Chocolate to make her escape with a very confused Akane.

Happosai was busy concentrating on the mass of naked females that were displayed before him through the small peephole he'd made into the women's side of the public bath. Just as Happosai was really getting into his concentrating a low rumble filled the air and the ground began to shake in a somewhat ominous manner. When he reluctantly looked away from the feast of female flesh before him Happosai was met with a sight that was almost as appealing as the denizen of naked girls inside the bathhouse. A thousand silky panties flying directly at him at top speeds. Happosai bounded towards the panties which continued on their thunderous path as they flew towards him. He ended up getting swept up inside the horde of flying panties which continued on its strange path of panty stealing destruction throughout all of Nerima.

When Siren caused the horde to tall to the ground the various woman they belonged to noticed Happosai laying on top of the pile of panties hugging them to his body. In a split second, all the enraged and panty-less females present realized he was the one who stole their panties. That was when they all mobbed on him like a mass of uncontrollable locusts intent on tearing him to pieces. It was a scene that lasted barely a minute before they had him reduced into a mere shell of a man, and somehow after finding their right and proper panties, the women left the premises of Furinkan High to its usual insanity.

As Happosai laid in a destroyed heap in the huge crater where all of his panties had been before the girls had taken them back. The others started talking about finishing him off. Tatewaki suggested that they just hand him over to the proper authorities. No one wanted to do that however, both because it wouldn’t be torturous enough and the fact that the police was afraid to come to the Furinkan financial district. As the debate about just what to do with Happosai continued on, it grew to massive sound levels. It was so loud, that they almost didn't hear when a high pitched whistle pierced the air to get their attention. Turning around, the group regarded Taro and Akari standing next to a Tauros. On seeing the creature, Ranma's eyes went wide and she made a discreet move to stand behind Kodachi for protection.

Taro asked the group to hand Happosai over to him stating that he could punish him in a way that would make all of them happy as had more than just his panty thieving for wanting to do it. When Cologne asked what he planned on doing Taro formed a slow smile and activated his curse, they all watched as he turned a pink and cuddly creature that only one of them recognized immediately as a Clefairy. Ignoring their looks of wonder, the Clefairy walked over to where Happosai still lay in a crumpled heap and used metronome. The explosion that surrounded Happosai sent him flying high into the air only to land seconds later back inside of the now smoldering crater with a loud thud. The Clefairy wore a smug smile as it hopped into the crater and produced a rope out of nowhere to tie the martial arts master up with. It then drug Happosai out of the crater and towards the amazed onlookers. Though anticlimantic everyone was happy Happosai got punished and it was fun to watch him get blown up.

When Atstuko and Nodoka kidnapped their husband and son, while everyone gathered in the sitting room discussing the odd disappearance of Genma, Ranma, and Ryoga, and just what it meant, Happosai was busy searching through his treasures to pass the time. Because being blown up a few times in one day does tend to make even the most evil of martial arts Masters tired. He liked to reminisce while looking through his various 'spoils of war', or so he liked to call them, anyway. While he did this, Happosai came upon the scroll of luck. Staring at it, he wondered why exactly he kept the thing. It wasn't of any real use and how he got it wasn't exactly the best of his adventures. With a shrug, Happosai tossed the scroll out the window of his room.

He was interrupted from this activity by Siren summoning him to her. While initially surprised at the sudden change in locations Happosai was happy to see Siren. Cutting him off Siren demanded to know where the scroll of luck was. When Happosai asked what she was talking about Kiima once again demanded the scroll. When Happosai revealed that threw it away before anyone in the dojo could properly react, a storm of pickles dropped from the airship and onto them. Burying them all in a pile of pickled monstrosity that smelled just as bad as it tasted.

As Kirin prepared the second wave those aboard his ship and the few people who'd dug themselves free of the pile of pickles turned as Akane made her presence known as she walked into the sitting room, a tray of pickles in hand. At her side stood Chocolate who was never far away from Akane. What more caught everyone's attention weren't the pickles on the tray but the scroll on it also. In particular it caught the attention of Prince Kirin who had Akane wrapped up in a long fishing wire and pulled high into the air and onto the airship. Akane called Kirin out for causing her to drop her pickles as she had made them for Chocolate. Putting his arm around the surprised Akane’s waist Kirin told her that they would have many delicious chocolate pickles at their wedding.

Using Genma's head for a vault, Chocolate bounded into the air. She pulled out a long claw and threw it against the ship, using it to climb on board. In dark tones, she demanded he let Akane go. Instead of doing what Chocolate demanded, Kirin held Akane tighter and simply smirked. Which caused her to scowl deeply and fly at him with an assorted arsenal that was discarded by Kirin in a lighting fast movement with, believe it or not, a pair of chopsticks. Unfortunately for those below, all of Chocolate's various weapons which included maces, dynamite, and one or two bombs, fell to the ground. Causing quite a bit of chaos as they scurried around, trying to avoid them.

Ignoring the explosions from below, Chocolate rushed at Kirin, only to be swept away by the speed of his chopsticks, causing her to fall from the airship with the sound of Akane shouting her name meeting her ears. It was that sound that kept Chocolate from giving up and reaching out at the last moment, she grabbed the chain she had attached to the airship earlier. When the ship vanished into nothingness, she went along with it. Watching this happen, those gathered at the dojo were silent for a long moment then Soun spit out the pickle he had stuck in his mouth. Some would swear for years later that the name Akane echoed in the air for hours after he screamed it. Then again, that might have something to do with the fact that not only Soun was screaming it.