I'm So Sick

The Acolytes in Sexy Tights discover a sphinx infected with a plague created by The Returned. They enter his body to prevent a pandemic.

## Major Plot Points

* On their way back to Setessa after securing all of their allies for the war, The Acolytes in Sexy Tights stumbled upon a sick sphinx and a centaur druid caring for him. The druid introduces herself as Frazzle Dazzle and the sphinx as Mr. Sphinxter. She said The Returned stole her experimental research and were able to turn themselves into a virus with it. She promised the party the sphinx's collection of magic items if they used her magic to shrink down and eliminate the virus before it could spread to others. Our heroes agreed.
* SBG3 built a vessel the group could use to safely navigate through Mr. Sphinxter. Most of the symptoms he experienced were centered around the anus. Barbara Duke refused to enter any creature's butthole, so she made an incision on the buttocks. Dikarus Bottombane called her homophobic.
* The party arrived in the stomach and their vessel suffered minimal acid damage from Mr. Sphinxter's acid reflux. Floating on a piece of food debris was a sprite named Ginger who the sphinx accidentally ingested. Clows Kufas vouched for Ginger after his insight into the sprite's condition. The party let him into their ship and he immediately complained about the lack of entertainment and drinks.
* In the liver, the party was attacked by a white blood cell. After losing half its health, it split into two. Dikarus' sword destroyed one and Clows' magnify gravity spell killed the other one. A few Returned virus cells were being detoxed here.
* In a kidney, more Returned viruses were being detoxed from the sphinx. The vessel was quiet enough that it didn't set off a kidney stone avalanche.
* The ship then traversed the intestines without hitting any poisonous gas bubbles.
* The party went into the testes and they decided to ride sperm cells throughout the body. SBG3 collapsed their vessel for safe keeping. SBG3 and Dikarus proved to be sperm whisperers.
* The group rode their sperm steeds into the lungs. The wind from the sphinx's breathing battered half the party. They then had to make their way through cilia, which battered Clows. In the main chamber of the lung, the party discovered it was filled with black ooze. The ooze heavily damaged Muchomucho M Amor and Clows. SBG3's eldritch blast and Barb's crossbow eliminated the oozes. The Acolytes enjoyed a one hour short rest. Unfortunately, their second hour was interrupted by a coughing fit that nearly expelled the group out of the sphinx. Only Dikarus was able to maintain his position. The rest had to use their strength in the trachea to hold on. Dikarus was able to save Barb who was flying around wildly.
* In the first heart chamber, Muchomucho burned away cholesterol to clear a path to the next chamber. Dangerous sickle cells were floating in the next chamber. SBG3 and Muchomucho used a net to trap the sickle cells. The third chamber was dark and motionless. Clows, Muchomucho, and SBG3 used their combined magics to restart it. In the final chamber, they party found a heartwyrm. SBG3 cast Tasha's Hideous Laughter and rendered it harmless until they could get the sphinx some antibiotics.
* The Acolytes then went to Mr. Sphinxter's brain. In the frontal lobe, Muchomucho repaired misfiring synapses. The high elf wizard put out fires in the parietal lobe to lower the sphinx's fever. In the temporal lobe, SBG3 cast Hunger of Hadar to connect the sphinx's brain to Hadar.
* In the Occipital Lobe, the party found the source of the disease. The Returned centaur named Odion Nighthoof had transformed himself into the Elvirus and he was trying to replicate himself. His tendrils and psychic attacks against Barb and SBG3 had devastating effects on them. The group realized Elvirus was susceptible to fire. Muchomucho and SBG3 launched scorching rays at it. Sybil Ringwell summoned a fire elemental. Clows destroyed Elvirus with a gravity sinkhole, which may have lobotomized Mr. Sphinxter.
* When they exited the body (SBG3 kept a sperm sample for research purposes), Ginger gave SBG3 a heart ring that reveals the emotional state and alignment of those he touches. He departed with the advice, "Not every drowning person is evil."
* Frazzle Dazzle reported that Mr. Sphinxter was recovering but seemed lethargic. Honoring her agreement, she let the party have the sphinx's magic item collection.
	+ Dikarus received the hat of disguise
	+ SBG3 got the robe of stars
	+ Muchomucho claimed the flying carpet
	+ Barb picked the deck of illusions
	+ Sybil grabbed a talking doll and a remove curse spell scroll
	+ Clows chose the dancing sword and ghost step tattoo