All-New and Improved Loud House

***All-New and Improved Loud House*** is an off-shot 2020 skit on *Sketch Satires*.

## Script

(*TBD*)

* TBD
* **Producer:** (*reading an article reading "Why The Loud House Is A Piece Of Shit?", to Paramount Global CEO Mr. Krabs*) What?! Whoa, hold up! Are you kidding me, boss?! I mean, come on! How the hell is *The Loud House* considered second-rate? It has received glowing reviews and boasts impressive ratings. Just how terrible could it be? Let’s not forget that it has become our second most successful Nicktoon after *SpongeBob*, right?
* **Mr. Krabs:** Perhaps, dear lad, you perceive yourself to be making an argument about how the show is regarded as a phenomenon, unlike those who fail to acknowledge that. Is that correct? Well, oh my, HELL! I must inform you that viewers have lodged complaints about the abundance of mean-spirited jokes and writing, the unlikability of the characters, and the dreadful theme song!
* **Producer:** But I… apparently don't get it, Mr. Krabs, sir. We thought they are quite decent for the show itself.
* **Mr. Krabs:** (*in fury*) **DECENT?!** Take a good look at that poor boy, over there! (*the camera pans right to Lincoln Loud, sitting front of the corner, holding on his knees, traumatized and appearing in injuries with scratches, TBD*) What makes you believe in the remarkable success of *The Loud House*, despite the challenging and distressing roles he portrays in each and every episode?
* **Lincoln:** (*traumatized and sobbing; to himself*) Oh god, whatta horror! Whatta pain! It hurts every time! I thought my parents care about me!
* **Mr. Krabs:** I could have made awful things on certain *SpongeBob* episodes, such as disguising myself as me daughter to scare Plankton, but the things that happen to that kid in *The Loud House* are **FAR WORSE** than the things I made before!
* **Producer:** Yeah, okay… Maybe the show got pushed him too far, which looks like right?
* **Mr. Krabs:** SHUT UP! And hear me this: What this needs is an improvement. Something we have to strive to make it even better and more radiant than before! TBD
* **Producer#2:** How? It looks good just the way it is. Plus, I love how cartoony it has become. And it's supposed to be funny.
* **Mr. Krabs:** **CARTOONY AND FUNNY?!** Do you call that cartoony and funny?! I understand the fact that it is a cartoon, but still! I never find the tortures towards Lincoln funny. Now we need to think of something that would improve the show. And I know how. But before, you two are fired.
* TBD

## Trivia

* This is the first *Sketch Satires* skit parodying *The Loud House*.
* According to TBD, all of the *Sketch Satires* skits parodying *The Loud House* will also have the Loud Sisters being tortured.
* When various characters torture the Loud sisters, they will discuss about how *The Loud House* went downhill.

## List of characters torturing the Loud sisters

* Lincoln beats up all of his sisters with steroids.
* TBD
* Dudley Puppy shoots Leni with a laser.
* Squidward tortures Lucy with his bad clarinet playing.
* Daggett and Norbert Beaver wash off Lucy with a bucket full of pig blood, all while mentioning that she became more selfish in later seasons.
* Plankton over feeds Luan with his rotten chum.
* Ren Hoek attacks Lynn Jr. with a broom.
* Eric Cartman shaves off Lola's hair with a electric razor.
* SpongeBob makes bees sting the Loud Sisters.
* Patrick TBD
* Stimpy TBD
* Zim performs a dangerous experiment on Lisa.
* Kyle Broflovski kicks Lily out of the window.
* All of the family and other characters (minus Lincoln) being all tortured in several ways to the point of near death, even though the other characters were helping Lincoln.