1983 Vinyl Toupee Shootout

The 1983 Vinyl Toupee Shootout was once again back at Nightdona after the terrible crash last season at the now closed down Roadpacer Super Speedway. This race was won by Andrew Axler. On Lap 68 Chick Hicks caused Billy Ford to crash into the wall. After this Chick Hicks was banned from entering this race until 2001 when it was taken down.

## Transcript

### Avery Ron Monika Jones Song

* Avery Ron Monika Jones: (Singing) Little town, it's a quiet village Every day, like the one before Little town, full of little people Waking up to say...
* (Victor the Red Engine's Whistle)
* Mr. Tickle: Bonjour!
* Mr. Strong: Bonjour!
* Little Miss Sunshine: Bonjour!
* Little Miss Whoops: Bonjour!
* Mr. Scatterbrain: Bonjour!
* Avery Ron Monika Jones: There goes the baker with his tray like always The same old bread and rolls to sell Ev'ry morning just the same Since the morning that we came To this poor provincial town...
* Stanley: Good morning, Avery!
* Avery Ron Monika Jones: Morning Stanley!
* Stanley: Where are you off to?
* Avery Ron Monika Jones: The bookshop! I just finished the most wonderful story, about a beanstalk and an ogre and...
* Stanley: That's nice... Eric, the baguettes! Hurry up!!
* Astrid Hofferson and Ruffnut Thorston: Look there she goes, that girl is strange no question
* Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?
* Ursula (George of the Jungle): Never part of any crowd
* The Janitor (Peabody's Improbable History): Cause her head's up on some cloud
* TOWNSFOLK: No denying she's a funny girl, that Avery!
* Ventus: Bonjour!
* Coco (Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch): Good day!
* Ventus: How is your family?
* Mavis: Bonjour!
* Sir Topham Hatt: Good day!
* Mavis: How is your wife?
* Angie (Pok'emon): I need six eggs!
* Conway (Pok'emon): That's too expensive!
* Avery Ron Monika Jones: There must be more than this provincial life!
* Sniffles: Ah, Avery!
* Avery Ron Monika Jones: Good morning. I've come to return the book I borrowed.
* Sniffles: Finished already?
* Avery Ron Monika: Oh, I couldn't put it down! Have you got anything new?
* Sniffles: Not since yesterday.
* Avery: That's all right. I'll borrow... this one.
* Sniffles: That one? But you've read it twice!
* Avery Ron Monika: Well it's my favorite!
* Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!
* Sniffles: Well, if you like it all that much, it's yours!
* Avery Ron Monika: But Sniffles!
* Sniffles: I insist!
* Avery Ron Monika: Well thank you. Thank you very much!
* Doc, Happy and Bashful: Look there she goes
* That girl is so peculiar!
* I wonder if she's feeling well!
* WOMEN: With a dreamy far-off look!
* MEN: And her nose stuck in a book!
* ALL: What a puzzle to the rest of us is Avery!
* Avery Ron Monika Jones: Oh! Isn't this amazing! It's my favorite part because, you'll see! Here's where she meets Prince Charming But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three!
* Jane Jetson: Now it's no wonder that her name means 'beauty' Her looks have got no parallel!
* George Jetson: But behind that fair facade I'm afraid she's rather odd Very different from the rest of us...
* ALL: She's nothing like the rest of us, Yes different from the rest of us is Avery.
* Paul Revley: I got it, Eugene! Ohhhh! (holds out the bag, and misses catching the prize.) Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Eugene! You're the greatest hunter in the whole world!
* Eugene Carbureski: I know.
* Paul Revley: Huh. No Earnhardt alive stands a chance against you... and no girl for that matter!
* Eugene Carburseki: It's true, Paul, and I've got my sights set on that one!
* Paul Revley: The No Stall' friend?
* Ron Kargas: Right there.
* Eugene Carburseki: Ooooh! She's the one! The lucky girl I'm going to marry.
* Paul Revley: But she's--
* Ron Kargas: She a very girl. she's a Ron's Turbo Chews racer.
* Eugene Carburseki: The most beautiful girl in town.
* Paul Revley: I know--
* Ron Kargas: I know what? I know's he a anyone.
* Eugene Carburseki: And that makes her the best. And don't I deserve the best?
* Paul Revley: Well of course, I mean you do, but I mean...
* Ron Kargas: You mean's is a Patrick, Patrick, Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!
* Eugene Carbureski: Right from the moment when I met her, saw her, I said she's gorgeous and I fell Here in town there's only she Who is beautiful as me So I'm making plans to woo and marry Avery.
* Foxxy Love, Princess Clara and Toot Braunstein: Look there he goes, isn't he dreamy Eugene Carbureski, oh he's so cute Be still my heart, I'm hardly breathing He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute
* Terra (Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep): Bonjour!
* Eugene Carbureski: Pardon!
* Lt. Surge: Good day!
* Kaito: Mais oui!
* Karen: You call this bacon?
* Hanon Hosho: What lovely grapes!
* Darien Chiba: Some cheese!
* Amy Anderson: Ten yards!
* Darien Chiba: One pound
* Eugene Carbureski: 'scuse me!
* Darien Chiba: I'll get the knife!
* Eugene Carbureski: Please let me through!
* Saria: This bread!
* Luigi: Those fish!
* Saria: It's stale!
* Luigi: They smell!
* Falco Lombardi: Madame's mistaken!
* Spare Mint Pitties and Tow Cap Pitties: Well maybe so..
* Avery Ron Monika Jones: There must be more than this provincial life!
* Tank Coat Pitties: Well maybe so...
* Eugene Carbureski: Just watch I'm going to make Avery my wife!
* ALL: Look there she goes a girl who's strange but special A most peculiar mademoiselle It's a pity and a sin She doesn't quite fit in!
* GROUP 1: But she really is a funny girl
* GROUP 2: A beauty but a funny girl
* ALL: She really is a funny girl! LIKE AVERY!!!!!!!!!!

### Billy Ford's Hard Crash

Ken: OH NO ITS BILLY FORD CRASHED BY CHICK HICKS!

Ned: CHICK SHOULD BE BANNED!

Ken: Looks like your wish is coming true Ned because we just heard Chick Hicks has been banned from this race.

Ned: Dreams come true guys! HA HA HA HA!

### Finish

Ken: ANDREW AXLER HOLDS BOTH SHIFTRIGHTS OFF TO WIN THE SHOOTOUT!

Ned: I think The Axler's and Shiftright's have been the kings of these event. In 1981 and last year in 1982 Klint Shiftright won and now this year Andrew Axler won. Kraig Shiftright has not been able to win this race yet!

(Joners Radio)

Andrew: YEAH WE BEAT THE SHIFTRIGHTS!

Crew Cheif: YEAH ANDREW!

(End Of The Transcript!)

## Results

1. Andrew Axler - 150 Laps
2. Kraig Shiftright - 150 Laps
3. Klint Shiftright - 150 Laps
4. The King - 150 Laps
5. Don Chapcar - 150 Laps
6. Charles Johnson - 150 Laps
7. Alex Quint - 150 Laps
8. Robert Hicks - 150 Laps
9. Peter Axon - 150 Laps
10. Gerald Jefferson Senior - 150 Laps
11. Larry Smith - 150 Laps
12. Tom Landis - 150 Laps
13. Zoey Lewis - 150 Laps
14. Drive Parkerson - 150 Laps
15. Cole Speedland - 150 Laps
16. Slide Powers - 150 Laps
17. Chick Hicks - 68 Laps (Banned)
18. Billy Ford - 68 Laps (Crash)