235: Titles Are For the Birds

## Summary

Impressed with the Gwen's story, Roger gives the party a lock of his hair and the conversation moves onto other subjects, such as gnomes, waterfall symbols, Tivoli, depraved gods. However, to their surprise, it seems that Roger is a very simple-living creature, who likes the quiet of the forest, living off the land and doesn't have much to offer on matters of the outside world. Eventually as morning turns into afternoon, Batthwack offers their kind host another story, recounting a tale that sounds suspiciously like it could be his own past, before the party decide it really is time to go looking for badgers and head off back into the forest.

## Synopsis

Having finished telling her tale, Gwen tells Roger that it's a living story that will continue to unfold. Roger does a stage whisper to Raphina, asking if the story is about Gwen. In any case, the story seems to have done the trick; he pulls out a knife and cuts off a huge hunk of his hair and hands it to Gwen. *"Oh, well, thank you so much. I can't tell you how wonderful this is!"* she says, and then asks if he might know where they could find a badger. Roger says that in the past when he's met with the Supreme Forager, they've usually moved off in a south-easterly direction after collecting some of his hair. He also mentions that the last time she was here he overheard her cursing quietly to herself about badgers. Gwen asks she can trade a clay sculpture for some candy and Roger says she can just take a piece if she likes, but Gwen insists on a trade. Gwen hands over a gelatinous gummy (fruit jelly) cube covered in chocolate from her purple pouch.

Roger tells her to take her pick of the clay statues. Gwen picks a statue of a tiefling, saying she once knew a tiefling. Having picked up on the strange number of coincidences since meeting Roger, the group begin to question him about all sorts of things. Raphina starts by asks him about the gnome statues. Roger says he's seen gnomes out and about, but doesn't know any personally. Gwen asks if he recognises the name "Yimble", but says he doesn't. Will, who's been outside listening in, asks where Roger's seen gnomes. He says there are lots of gnomes in Carnivar and Beartoggle. Will asks if he's noticed any changes to the world around him, since he's the only person he's spoken to since Barovia who has heard of Tivoli. Roger says that's probably just because it's a long way from here. Will then goes on to ask about the waterfall symbols, picking his words carefully *"I have ... an acquaintance, who's interested in waterfalls."* Roger just says it's always been his symbol, his trademark. He just likes it, he says. There's something about it, it feels right.

Doing his best to think of more ways to extract useful information from Roger, Will asks about his grasp on time. Roger explains he's been in the woods for about 4 years. Will wants to know if he's heard people talk about gnomes, or if he's seen gnomes since moving to the forest. Roger says he doesn't see many people, and certainly no gnomes; he mostly just sees the umlauts. Answering more questions, Roger says he can't cast magic, and he gets his clay from the river. Batthwack, who was also outside, comes back in as Raphina asks Roger if he's always had lots of hair. He explains that his people, the shevoo, all do. Will hasn't heard of them, despite coming from the same region of Six Rivers.

Gwen shows Roger the locked book she's been carrying and asks if he recognises any of the symbols on its lock. Roger considers it for a moment, but he doesn't recognise any of them. Batthwack asks if he can take a closer look at some of the pottery and picks up a clay pot/vase to look at its waterfall marking. He compares it to the waterfall on his necklace, noting that they're not identical, but have the same general shape and appear to have had the same inspiration. He shows Roger his chain, who bends way down to get a proper look. Of the necklace, Roger says *"It speaks to me. Yes, this is powerful or meaningful."* He asks where it came from. Batthwack says he came up with it himself, but has since learned (from Dew) that its the symbol for the god Eldath. Roger says he didn't know it was related to a deity, he just likes it. He says he doesn't remember dreaming it or anything, but admits that he has always been a weird sleeper.

While Roger begins munching on his chocolate gummy cube, Gwen asks him if Batthwack can take a piece of clay work in exchange for some more chocolate, handing him a chocolate-covered turtle. Roger is more than happy for them to take whatever they want. Batthwack picks up the clay pot again. Raphina asks if he ever sells them at a market, but he says he doesn't, though he sometimes gives them to the umlauts. He doesn't know what they do with them after that. Speaking of the umlauts, Will asks Roger what he knows about their stew, saying it seems weird to him, what with having hair in it and all. Roger tells them that he hasn't been to their ritual and probably wouldn't eat the stew himself.

Having been outside and missed Gwen's story, Batthwack asks if they've finished telling stories. Roger says he's always happy for more. Gwen says she told a story about a princess, so maybe Batthwack could tell one about a king. Batthwack instead opts to bring up the "depraved gods" they keep hearing about on their travels. Roger considers this and says it is very quiet out here, and the phrase is concerning, but he hasn't heard any stories about gods. He asks if the group have met any. Batthwack and Raphina both say *"Maybe"* and Will says *"Oh, we have."* The others question how he knows if any of them relate to the "depraved gods" mentioned in the warning/prophecy. Will looks at Batthwack and says maybe he's wrong, maybe they haven't met any gods. Raphina says she wonders if the fake Moondreamer was a depraved god.

Batthwack says his luck gift didn't seem to come from a depraved god, though the spirit did talk like the dark spirits from the Amber Temple. Gwen asks *"What do you mean dark spirits? What are you guys into?"* Gwen and Roger both look interestedly at the rest of the group, as if anticipating another a good story. Batthwack says maybe news hasn't travelled this far yet, and tells Roger about the dragon's announcement. Raphina mentions it's the second time they heard it. Batthwack turns the clay pot around in his hands. Will says the story probably just shows they're bad luck, but Roger says he doesn't believe in that kind of thing.

More questions for Roger follow. Raphina asks who he socialises with and he says he sometimes trades with the umlauts. Gwen asks if there's anyone else as tall as him around here and he says no, he left the rest of his people behind. He explains he'll probably go back, but he left to travel around and see the world. He says he's been wandering, but he's been here in Beartoggle for a while. Will asks what the name of the place is where he's from, but Roger says it's not a "place" like that, with a name. Mo says it's weird how people decide on a name to give a place. Will tries to explain, but Mo doesn't really understand this strange need to name and number everything. Roger explains that he lived in Bufflin most of his life, and only recently started travelling. *"I moved around for a while, but never in one place too long."* He says he's 31-years-old and likes it here; they have good clay.

Will asks Roger if he ever saw Farella, but he says he hasn't. Raphina asks he he's heard of Strahd. He hasn't. Will asks about Barovia. He hasn't heard of that either. Running out of things to quiz him on, the group fire a few more random questions before Roger says *"I guess you're off to see some badgers now. You guys are the new Supreme Foragers."* Will is quick to quash that one and says they're just helping out. Roger points out that they're doing the Supreme Forager's work, but Will is surprised that Roger would give his hair to just anyone who came asking for it. Raphina says she'd give up her hair, depending on how good the story was.

Still turning the pot around in his hand thoughtfully, Batthwack says that Roger has been so helpful and nice to give him a gift, and since they wanted a story about a king, he'd like to offer another tale he heard when growing up. He settles down, looking at the pot as if trying to remember the tale. He begins. *"So there was once a young king. Despite his age, others looked to him to lead. His people and his family were threatened by a goblin army so he rode to war and fought back the threat, until a frozen moment when he faced his enemy and could not kill him. For his enemy had no real malice toward his people."* He pauses, before saying that he hopes he's not getting the words wrong. *"The enemy went free and for his crime, the young monarch and his family were cast out. As time bore on, he could not protect them, and they say he wanders alone today. An unmoored bane to evil. A wayward sovereign who still carries a spark of hope... It's pretty bleak if you ask me, but I always find the last line kind of uplifting."*

There's a pregnant pause before Raphina says that the story sounds familiar to her, and she looks suspiciously at Batthwack. Roger says it was a great story. Will clearly has his own theory about Batthwack's story, because he asks Roger if anyone ever tells him stories that *aren't* based on fact. Roger says most of them aren't. Batthwack suggests that all stories have an element of truth in them. Will says *"Unless they're my stories!"*

Roger asks them if it is tonight that the stew has to be finished (as it's the the new moon), and the group suddenly realise they need to get a move on. Gwen reminds them that they need to get the badger ingredient and they try to work out which way south-east is. Batthwack asks if the Supreme Forager ever mentioned any terrifying stories about the badger. Gwen wonders if he's frightened of badgers and Batthwack asks if Raphina is still afraid of turtles. She says now that he's small, she's more tempted to step on Batthwack, but only in self-defence. Roger reminds them that the last time he saw the Supreme Forager, she was complaining about having to deal with the badger. They try to explain badgers to Will. *"It's nature's jerk"* says Raphina. *"Oh great, so it's me in animal form!"* says Will. Gwen says they're Batthwack-sized and they're usually not magical, but who knows after everything that's happened recently. Roger asks her what she means and she outlines her recent events: discovering that Morrow's Inlet wasn't what it appeared to be, how her feelings of animosity towards half of the population weren't real and how she lost her store and everything she owned.

Will suggests Roger needs a book to read rather than waiting for people to show up with their stories, but Roger says that's boring. Gwen says that if he ever changes his mind and finds himself in Morrow's inlet, he should go and see Bella's book store. Raphina offers him her copy of the Pineapple Wars trilogy, but he declines. In any case, he's not too sure about this town that Gwen said was mind-controlling everyone.

In an attempt to get them moving along, Will thanks Roger for the bread and says it's been really nice to be inside for a change. Batthwack says it'll be nice to be outside again. Raphina, wondering if he's finding it strange inside, being so small, recalls the time he was changed into an iguana and that he was transformed back into his normal self when he died, so perhaps they could try killing him. Batthwack and Gwen really aren't sure about this idea and even Mo is a little weirded out.

Will reminds the group they really need to get on and find the badger meat, so they can get out of these woods. Batthwack points out that it's the afternoon now, so in a few hours it'll be a lot harder to find them. Gwen says Mo will help them track one and he says they need to find their burrows. Raphina suggests digging a big pit to trap them.

They make their goodbyes and Roger says it was nice meeting them all. Will asks for some more bread, which Roger gladly offers. Gwen asks for a hug and Roger also obliges, his chin resting on Gwen's head as she snuggles into his fur. Raphina gives him one strand of one of her ponytails, which he braids into one of his face hairs. He wishes Will luck in getting back to Tivoli and says he should check in on the shevoo when he's back in Bufflin.

Leaving Roger's homely house, the group head through the woods in as much of a south-easterly direction as they can discern, the afternoon sun just behind them.

## Quotes

* *"You're very nice. What the fuck, dude?"* - Will (to Roger)

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Abby. When the party are quizzing Roger about his hometown and Will is going off on a rant about naming towns and numbering the houses, Raphina/Abby says *"Do you remember when the two towers of the factory had numbers one and two on them?"* Mo/Eric: *"You mean A and B?!"* Raphina/Abby: *"Oh shit."* Mo/Eric: *"I didn't know those were numbers. Also you use the spyglass so there were lots of numbers on both of them!"* Alex: *"I thought the buildings were named Galdar and Roger!"* Mo/Eric: *"When you live somewhere do people have to solve puzzle to figure out where you live?!"* Abby: *"Titles are for the birds!"*
* Badgers : animated music video : MrWeebl on YouTube

## References

1. ↑ This is one that Dew collected from Crumplemeyer's Book Bin, which he was ultimately transported inside! See episode 205: Dew Skidoo, We Can Too!
2. ↑ As a possible interesting insight into Batthwack's back story, Alex asked Eric *"Did the god say their name when they talked to Batthwack?"* Eric replied *"I don't think so"*
3. ↑ See episodes 209: Various Brick Sounds and 212: Hubbubbada Bubbada!
4. ↑ See episode 226: What CAN'T Will Turn Into? A Pleasant Person? JUST KIDDING!
5. ↑ See episode 175: Does The Rainbow Trout Have A Sister?
6. ↑ Alex asks if he should roll deception, but he says he's not actively trying to trick anyone, so we presume this is all accurate.
7. ↑ See episodes 18: It HAS Been Real!
8. ↑ See episode 106: Wah, I'm an Iguana