The Bad Guys: Episode 15: Open Wide and Say Arrrgh!

**Open Wide and Say Arrrgh!** is the fifteenth book in the Bad Guys series, and the fifth book in season two.

## Description

WEIRD?! Nothing weird ever happens in The Bad Guys. Like, you would NEVER see a chainsaw monster confronting a velociraptor who has eaten an elderly piranha, or the disturbing antics of a deranged dentist running amok with an oversized drill. NOPE. None of that nonsense here. So, relax and be entirely unsurprised by the Bad Guys next adventure!

## Plot

The book opens with a memory from Wolf and Snake's childhood, with Wolf trying to break in an electronics store, while Snake is reluctant about the situation. Wolf encourages Snake, and he eventually lock-picks the door open, to Snake's astonishment. The memory transitions to the present day, showing Wolf strapped down to a chair and with a mouth gag.

As Wolf unsuccessfully tries talking with the gag, the newest Underlord tries comprehending his speech, realizing he's trying to warn Fox of a large anthropomorphic tooth behind her. The tooth, called Nursie, restrains her and ties her to a chair with a straitjacket. The Underlord then begins talking to Fox, introducing himself as Drillaärgh, along with mocking her challenge towards Splaarghön. He begins to brag about his mutilated teeth having been gifted by Splaarghön, then threatening to mangle her teeth with a large dental drill. However, the drill loses its charge and powers off, sending Nursie to recharge the machine, leading to Wolf knocking him to the floor with a hanging lamp. He then frees Fox and Shortfuse, though they start running away once Nursie returns.

The rest of the A-Team continues to scout around for Piranha, with Kitty warning the team their high possibility of being permanently brainwashed without the help of Fox. Shark then reminisces of his first meeting with Piranha, explaining he met him as they were both hunting for food whilst both kids. When he finishes, Kitty finds Piranha in the distance, though when they approach him, Snake and Onsáày ambush the team.

As Milton confronts Shaård out in space, the rest of the B-Team watch anxious and intrigued. Milton touches Shaárd's chin, causing an electric shock that expels all of his spikes off his body. The team then question what Milton is holding, which is revealed to be Shaård's true form, a small baby spoon. A brief memory is then shown, with Shaård, his real name actually Dickie, being bullied by sharp anthropomorphic utensils, until Splaarghön grants him his current Underlord abilities. With the team left confused, Legs explains the Underlords only have a menacing appearance, and can be defeated by simply not being afraid. Doom argues with this, believing this event to have made no sense and any attempt similar to Milton's would result in their death. Legs partially agrees, with him and Nathan then discussing the possible causes of Milton's new ability.

Wolf's team hides from Drillaärgh and Nursie, who are both hunting the team. Wolf points out both their lives and the dimensions having become darker than previous books, with Fox explaining it's due to their gradual progress towards Splaarghön's dimension. As they're inconvenienced without Piranha, a bat startles the team from the shadows, claiming to know the location of the doorways. He speaks too loudly, catching the attention of Drillaärgh and leading to the bat revealing their location, though he's regretful right afterwards. Wolf grows frustrated of him, but the bat apologizes and claims that was due to pathological honesty and helpfulness. He exposes their whereabouts once again, and Fox asks for the bat to guide them to the doorway, which he accepts but comments on it being an inconvenience. Drillaärgh and Nursie start pursuing the team, while Fox then questions the inconvenience. The bat responds that he was ordered to wait on The One's arrival.

Kitty's team attempts escaping Snake, though they're telepathically forced out of their helicopter and levitate in front of him. Piranha argues with Snake's actions, as Splaarghön starts playing a lengthy melody on his guitar. The melody turns out to be able to permanently brainwash whoever listens to it, and the team unsuccessfully try covering their ears. While the music is played, Snake begins manipulating the team, eventually leading to all three members being brainwashed. Piranha reaches a point of denial and finally taps into his Oracle abilities while conscious, as he flatulates the same kind of magic that Fox uses and reverts Kitty back to normal.

As Milton returns to the spaceship with Shaård in his hands, Buck closes the outer door, leading to Milton slamming on the door and Shaård being released in space, slowly returning to his Underlord form. Milton then states the team must urgently find The Others, before he coughs up Papa Piranha and returns back to normal. Tiffany questions if they should retrieve Shaård, though Buck quickly opposes this and the B-Team continues their journey.

The bat guides Wolf's team to a wall of file cabinets, claiming the doorway to be inside one. Fox then asks the bat his name and why he awaits The One. The bat introduces himself as Abe, and although he hesitates to answer the latter, he gives in to pressure and reveals he is one of The Others, and was assigned to wait in the dimension. Fox then questions how The Others will help The One, but Abe is unsure himself. Drillaärgh finally discovers the team's location, and Abe swiftly directs them to the doorway inside a cabinet, with the team safely escaping.

Piranha's new magic leaves everyone confused, but Kitty asks him to try widening the beam to have the radius reach all three members. He attempts so but instead only aims at Shark, reverting him but having Kitty brainwashed again. Shark repeats the request, leading to the same results except with Hogwild reverted. Hogwild encourages Piranha once more, with no success. The team assumes Piranha is unable to change the radius, so Piranha aims his magic at the members one by one, with Shark and Hogwild agreeing to save Kitty, though Kitty opposes this. The former two tearfully accept their fate, with Piranha eventually agreeing and transporting Kitty back to the helicopter. The two reluctantly flee the area as they're being chased by Onsáày, devastatingly watching their friends being corrupted into Underlords.

The B-Team arrive at their designated planet, but are confused upon seeing a seemingly empty area. Buck desperately calls out for The Others as he throws a tantrum, leading to the team's annoyance. However, Granny Gumbo steps out soon after, aware of who the team is and revealing herself to be one of The Others. She then points out another member, Zee, but the team is puzzled at the small size of the team, until they realize it only consists of them two. Zee corrects them, stating there are four members; himself, Granny, Abe, and a fourth member the B-Team unknowingly brought along, with Buck claiming it to be him.

Wolf's team lands in the next dimension, with everyone growing uneasy, as Abe claims it's due to "her", referring to this dimension's Underlord. He then accepts guiding the team to the next doorway again, but claims they'll never reach it as they'll be captured and die at the sight of "The Thing". The team continues nonetheless, though they hide behind a log upon seeing the Underlord at a distance. Abe then exposes the team's whereabouts right after, concluding the book.