V. Despicable Me 4: Gru Experiments With Friends

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You are Gru, a spy living in Chicago. You have a concealed pistol and a syringe of poison. You listen to the russian diplomats and hear them discussing your situation. They say that you can't leave the city because it is under martial law, but they suggest that you go into hiding somewhere else.

What do you do?

> Hide in a bush

The spies suggest that you hide in a bush nearby.

> "Okay."

"Okay," you reply.

They tell you where to find some food and water. The spies also give you a map of the city so that you know which way to go if someone comes looking for you.

> !A man with a knife appears

A man with a knife suddenly appears from behind one of the bushes. He sees you and his eyes widen when he sees you.

He reaches out for your throat and then pulls back as if to let you go. Then he turns around and walks away without saying anything more to you.

> shout "You'll pay for that you slut !", before thoroughly milking and stuffing the man

You run after him and start shouting at him.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT YOU SLUT !" you yell.

You chase the man down until he runs off into an alleyway.

> Milk the man

You take the syringe and slowly milk the man.

"Mmm... Milk..." you say while drinking it all up.

Afterwards, you throw the syringe away in a trashcan and continue on your way.

> go back and examine the syringe thoroughly

You walk back to the alley and look at the syringe again. It's still there, but now you notice something strange about it.

It looks like it was used recently. There is blood on it, too.

> try and find the person who used the syringe

You follow the trail of blood to a dumpster.

There, you see a man sitting inside it. He doesn't seem to be paying any attention to you or anyone else around him. You don't even feel threatened by this fact though, since he isn't attacking you either.

> !The man reveals himself

As soon as you enter the dumpster, the man emerges from it.

"Who are you?" he asks.

"I'm not sure yet," you answer. "But I think we should talk outside."

> "Hughman, is that you ?"

"Yes, it is me," Hughman says.

"Well, what do you want?" you ask.

Hughman looks at you suspiciously.

> !He asks where his brother, Grogman, is.

"Grogman? Oh yes, my brother," Hughman replies.

"Where is he?" you ask.

"Oh, he's dead," Hughman answers. "We were playing hide-and-seek in our basement and I fell asleep and accidentally killed him."

> "are you sure he is actually dead ?"

"Yeah, yeah, he's dead," Hughman confirms.

"So what happened?" you ask.

Hughman shrugs his shoulders. "Nothing much really except I had to get rid of some bodies and I forgot to lock the door."

> "You bastard, he was a good friend of mine !"

"That's okay, I know how you feel," Hughman says. "Anyway, let's move on to more important matters."

The two of you leave the alley and head towards the train station.

> "Fuck you"

"What the hell are you doing?" Hughman asks.

"Fucking say goodbye to my best friend and then killing him for no reason," you reply.

Hughman sighs deeply before replying.

> slap Hughman

You grab Hughman by the collar and slam your fist into his face. His nose breaks immediately, but he doesn't fall down. Instead, he stands up straight with his hands behind his back.

"How dare you hit me! What did I ever do to you?!"

> "You killed Grogman you psycho !"

"Shut up! Shut up! I didn't kill Grogman, you idiot!"

"No, you did. And if you think I'm going to just let that go, well...you're wrong."

> Milk him, now.

With your hand still over his mouth, you punch Hughman hard enough to cause him to stumble backwards. Then, you pull out the syringe of poison and put it in his arm.

"Now what?" he asks.

> "I must milk you."

You slowly walk forward until you are right next to him. You start pumping your finger into his ear while saying "Mmm, delicious."

He gasps as you continue to pump your finger in and out of his ear.

> "Stop moaning you homosexual !"

"Stop moaning you homosexual!" you shout.

You stop pumping your finger in his ear and instead begin licking around his ears. The pain causes him to scream out loudly.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you too badly."

> Stuff Hughman, very very deep.

You shove your whole body inside Hughman's, squeezing all the air out of him. He tries to fight against you, but he can't. As soon as you've squeezed every last bit of air from him, you push him onto his back and insert the needle into his neck.

> Milk Hughman

You quickly suckle on Hughman's neck, causing him to moan loudly.

"Ohhhhhh, this is sooo good..." he moans.

You keep sucking on his neck and eventually he stops moaning completely and falls unconscious.

> !Hughman is dead

You look at Hughman lying there motionless. It seems like he was trying to get away from you, but it looks like you were the one who got away.

> Shout and throw his corpse

You run over to Hughman and pick him up by his ankles.

"What the hell happened? Why am I here?" you ask.

Hughman's eyes open and they're filled with tears. He starts sobbing uncontrollably as he rubs them together.

> "Hughman, you're alive ?"

"Yes, I'm alive," he says.

"Well then, congratulations. Now tell me what happened."

Hughman begins to cry more and continues to explain how he had been hired by some people in a bar called the Blue Goose Tavern.

> "Are these people gay ?"

"No! They weren't gay!"

"Then why did they hire you?"

Hughman explains that he didn't know anything about the bar and just went because he wanted to see if he could get a drink.

> "Stop lying to me ! Those people must be gay !"

"But...but...they aren't gay! Look, I don't want to lie to you, but I really can't remember any details about what happened after we left the Blue Goose Tavern. All I do remember is getting drunk and having a lot of fun.

> "Did you do... 'you know what' with them ?"

"I don't know what you mean by that, but no! I swear!"

You continue to argue with Hughman for quite awhile until finally he gives up.

"Alright, alright, fine. Whatever. Let's go home."

> "No, admit that you're gay !"

"Fine, whatever. But I still think you should tell me what happened after we left the tavern."

You sigh and agree to his request.

After telling you everything, Hughman asks if you want to come back to his place later tonight.

> "Will you give me some thin sheets of paper to place all over our bodies if I do ?"

"Sure, sure, let's go back to your place."

The next day you return to Hughman's house where you find that he has changed into a bathrobe and placed several sheets of paper across your body.

> "What are you doing with these papers ?"

"These are my notes on the Blue Goose Tavern. I've also written down the names of everyone that was there when we drank there."

You nod and begin reading through the papers.

> "The phallic constants... oh no, I have a bad feeling about this."

"Oh, it's nothing. Just a bad omen for you."

As you read through the papers, you notice that there are several references to sexual acts between men and women. The most prominent one being an act known as "the blue ball".

> !Hughman asks  if the phallic constants will be invoked

"It depends on how much you like penises."

Hughman smiles at your answer. He then proceeds to explain that the phallic constants are going to be invoked whenever someone mentions the word "penis", which happens quite often.

> "Splendid."

"That's right. That's what this is all about. It's not just a game to me; it's a way of life."

> "How do we undo the invoking of the constants ?"

"Well, you'll need to get rid of the blue ball."

You look around and see that there isn't anything else in the room that could possibly help you do so. You decide to ask Hughman if he knows anything about such things.

> "What is the blue ball ?"

"A blue ball is a magical object that can only be used once every five years. When it appears, it causes the phallic constants to activate. They make you feel very horny and you become extremely aggressive towards anyone who speaks ill of you or any other man or woman."

> "What the fuck ? Why ?"

"Because they're powerful objects that cause their wielders to act out their basest instincts. If you don't use them, you won't get off as hard."

You groan and shake your head. You then wonder why you ever agreed to this in the first place.

> "What did I agree to again ?"

"I'm sorry, but I don't know. But whatever it is, you're going to have to pay up."

You sigh and walk away from him. You turn around and enter the bathroom to wash your hands before continuing on with your plan.

> "I must clog Hughman right up ! He will pay for what he did to Grogman !"

You quickly run into the kitchen and grab some toilet paper. You roll up a large piece of toilet paper and put it over Hughman's mouth. You then go back to his desk where you find another piece of toilet paper, wrap it around your hand and shove it inside Hughman's ear.

> "I will clog your asshole you fool"

You push the paper against Hughman's ear and pull it out slowly. As soon as you remove it, Hughman lets out a pained scream. You laugh and continue to do so until you hear the door open outside.

"Hey! What happened? Did you finally succeed ?"

> "Who are you ?"

"Gee, thanks. How come you didn't let me finish my experiment ?"

"Because I had to drain you of your blood and leave you here to die."

"Oh no... I was saved by the intervention of a wizard...

> "Who the fuck are you ?"

"Don't play dumb boy. Who are you really?"

"My name is Harry Potter. And I'm here to save your soul."

You turn around and begin walking towards the door, but suddenly you stop and stare at Harry.

> "Don't make me do what I did to Hughman to you, Harry."

Harry looks down and shakes his head.

"No, I can't do that to you..."

He begins to walk backwards towards the door while you stand still staring at him. Suddenly, Harry stops and turns around.

>

"I need to ask you something."

You look at Harry and nod.

"Yes?"

>

"Do you want to be my friend?"

> "Only if you let me use my law..."

"Alright, alright. Just answer one question."

You take a deep breath and try to think of an appropriate response. You remember that Harry has been watching you all this time. You feel like you should lie about something or else he'll figure it out eventually.

> "Yes, I must do both the milking and the stuffing."

Harry smiles and nods.

"Good choice. Now get dressed and meet me in the basement."

> "No, you're getting milked right now !"

Harry laughs and grabs you by the hand. He leads you into the basement where he quickly shuts off the lights and locks them all up with a padlock. Then he tells you to strip naked.

"What are we going to do with these two?"

> "WHO ?"

"These two are the only ones who know how to properly milk a cow. They also know how to properly stuff a baby."

You don't like being made fun of so you start laughing loudly. Harry just stares at you silently.

> shout "You bitch !" before milking Harry

You run over to Harry and grab his face hard.

"Shut the hell up! I didn't come here for some stupid lesbian action!"

Harry lets go of your hand and walks away from you. You hear a muffled scream followed by loud thumping on the floor.

> Chase Harry

You race after Harry as fast as you can. The pair of you runs through the house until you reach the basement door.

"Come on, open up!"

You push open the door and see Harry standing there holding a shotgun in each hand.

> shout "Too slow" and swiftly milk Harry

You quickly turn around and put your arms around him and begin milking him. Harry looks surprised but doesn't resist too much. You continue to milk him while shouting at the top of your lungs "YOU'RE TOO SLOW YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS RIGHT!?"

> "NO, I DON'T !" Harry shouts

After several minutes of milking, you notice that Harry is starting to look tired. You decide to call it a night since you need to rest.

"I'm sorry about earlier...you were really good today."

Harry says as he lies down on the couch next to you.

> "We're not done yet, I'm stuffing you right now mister !"

Harry sighs and then gets up.

"It's okay, I understand. It was a lot of work for me."

He turns around and begins unzipping his pants. He pulls out a large dildo which he places inside his mouth and starts sucking on it slowly.

> "Where did you hide this, you cheeky boy !"

Harry laughs and replies "In my butt."

You laugh along with everyone else. Suddenly Harry stops sucking on the dildo and instead puts it back in his butt. He continues to suck on it for quite awhile before saying "Now let's finish this off."

> Stuff Harry.

You shove the big black thing deep into Harry's rectum and proceed to pump it in and out of him. When you feel that he's fully satisfied, you pull out and dump the contents of the dildo all over Harry.

"Ohh...that felt so good..."

> Stuff Harry,  yourself

You stop pumping Harry and instead shove your head inside of him and stick your tongue out. You then proceed to do the same thing with your other hole. After you've finished, you stand up and walk over to Harry.

> "Are you going to live after hiding that thing up there ?"

Harry smiles and nods.

"Yeah, I think we'll both survive."

You nod and smile back at Harry who has returned to his normal self.

> "Die for me"

You grab Harry by the scruff of his neck and force him face first into the floor. You then proceed to choke him until he passes out.

> "Good, now I can go see what Hughman is doing."

You stand up and leave the room. You hear noises coming from outside. A few moments later you hear loud thumping sounds coming from upstairs.

> "What's that ?"

A couple of men enter the room and one of them looks like Hughman. The other man doesn't look like anyone you know.

"Hughman? What the hell are you doing here?"

The man with the pony tail asks.

> "I'm here to give this man my meatloaf." Hughman says

"No, no, I'm here to kill him."

The man with the pony tail says.

"Well why didn't you just tell us when you got here?"

The man with the long hair says.

> Milk Hughman and the man with the pony tail, at the same time

You turn around and begin feeding Hughman and the man with the pony tail while simultaneously milking the woman behind you. She begins to scream as she feels her throat being ripped out.

"That was pretty intense."

> "Why did I rip this womans throat out ?

"Because I love it."

You reply.

> !Hughman stops breathing

You pull out the syringe and suck on it before placing it back in its place. You then push Hughman's body off of you and walk away. As soon as you exit the room, you hear a gunshot followed by a lot of screaming.

> "I wish Grogman was here..."

You run down the stairs and find Grogman lying dead on the ground. He had shot himself in the head.

"Grog...what happened?"

> "I thought your brother killed you a long time ago ?"

"Yeah, but I couldn't let him do it alone. So I went to get help."

"Who was that guy who came here?

> "Adam Mandler" he responds

"Yes, Adam Mandler. He works for the FBI."

"Wait, so you're not working with the FBI?"

"No, they don't want me to work with you because they think you might try to frame them or something.

> Stuff the FBI

You shove the FBI into a bag and throw it over your shoulder. You then grab your rifle and open fire on the house.

As you shoot through windows, doors and walls, you see that everyone is running from what you've done.

> Jump out of Hughman's skin

You leap out of Hughman's skin and continue shooting. The bullets bounce off the wall behind you, but they hit someone else. A young girl named Mary Lou has been hiding under one of the desks in the basement. She screams as she sees you standing over her.

> End Mary Lou

You aim your gun at Mary Lou and squeeze the trigger. Her body goes limp as you shoot her several times. You then look up and see that the police have arrived. They have guns pointed right at you, but they decide to leave instead.

> "Smart move, fags."

You turn around and begin walking towards the door. Suddenly, you feel a sharp pain in your leg. You look down and see that you have been shot again. This time, you manage to dodge the bullet. It hits your shoe causing it to go flying across the floor.

> Start bleeding

You stagger backwards and fall to the ground. You bleed profusely from your wound.

"What the hell did you do to me?!" you scream.

"Just a normal man trying to protect his family.

> "Adam ?"

"Yes, Adam."

"Oh, okay then."

You walk back upstairs and vomit all over yourself. You hear loud music coming from downstairs and then silence.

>

You slowly stand up and look outside. There is no sign of anyone.

"Well, this is weird," you say to yourself.

The next day, you find out that the FBI never found anything suspicious about your actions.

>

In fact, they were impressed by how well you handled things.

Your actions have earned you a promotion to Special Agent. You are now assigned to the FBI's Chicago office where you can help catch other criminals like Adam Mandler.

> Betray the FBI

You resign from the FBI and head to Chicago. You tell your superior officer that you want to take over the investigation of Adam Mandler. He tells you not to bother because he knows everything already.

When you arrive in Chicago, you immediately get to work on the case.

> Leave the FBI

You quit the FBI and become an independent investigator. You try to track down Adam Mandler, but you don't succeed. You think about going back to the FBI, but you realize that would just result in more problems for you.

> !Suddenly Adam Mandler arrives

You suddenly hear a knock on your front door. You open it and there stands Adam Mandler with a shotgun.

"I'm here to kill you!" he says angrily.

He shoots you twice in the chest, killing you instantly.

> "I can't die, not now."

You stop breathing.

> "Mandler... must milk... golden t-"

You stop breathing.

>

You see a flash of light and then nothingness.

>

A few days later, you wake up in a hospital bed. The doctor tells you that you had been shot three times in the chest, and one bullet went through your heart. Your organs failed due to lack of oxygen and your body began to shut down.

> "Am I going to live doc ?

The doctor shakes his head.

"No, no I'm sorry sir, but you're dead."

You look at him sadly.

"But why?" you ask.

"Because you betrayed us."

- YOU DIED! GAME OVER! -