Discord's and Devon's (Saturday Night D&D)

***This article refers to the Pretend Men Streams***

The Discord's and Devon's campaign held by the incredibly talented and motivated Tommy (Reindeerflo) has a deep and backstory with many elements and personalities. Any contradictions in story or logic is because of doppelgangers

## Characters

### **Main**

#### Snowfando

First appearing in episode S1E06 Snowson, he is a living snowman who was created by Fizwidgit and was adopted by the party. Snowfando has a child-like curiosity and an unmoving face which can make him seem creepy. Snowfando has an obsession with hair, flesh, fire and blood. The snow in the north isn't natural and may have a roll in how Snowfando gained life. He feels no pain and can sense fire. Snowfando is two snowballs and he moves by rolling around his lower half but sometimes grows a temporary third body part when needed. Snowfando has a crown of stones that Bork made for him in S1E9. Snowfando has an orb inside his body that helps he not melt and another which allows him to use mage hand at the cost of being mute for an hour. Snowfando has the ability to understand Bork. There are some conflicts over who is the father figure for Snowfando

#### Bork "Bullshark"- Half Ork

A once pirate until his father was murdered by a sconce trap which dropped the ceiling on his head when he lifted the sconce from the wall. Bork took his father's ship and pillaged the coast until he got bored and decided to mug people instead. He tried to rob the penniless Tripp whom decided to befriend the half ork. Bork has a fondness for thrown weapons. Bork wears threadbare linen, sackcloth pants and shirts. Bork does not like Half-bloods.Bork is pretty afraid of ghosts. Bork hates Elves. Bork has a voracious appetite, often unable to control his Id food, violence and drink seem to be particularly strong vices. Bork produces a strong smelling grease naturally which has numerous uses including hair gel.Bork's maul is named H'(knock knock swallow)-l pronouced Hitler which means honored warrior in this world. Curiously Bork's mom was a full Orc meaning his dad was a human or other race. Bork isn't scared of much except average creepy things such as small ghostly children. His catchphrase is "It's warm in here"

#### Tripp Dickson -Affable Rogue

Once owned a dairy that burned down when a nearby monastery caught fire. Tripp selflessly tried to save as many people as he could from the fire while putting life and livelihood at risk. This left Tripp destitute and had to survive on the kindness of others.He vacationed under the mountains and thus knows some things about dwarves. Tripp has long hair around his bald top that he styles with grease he harvests from Bork. Tripp has had a very colourful sexual history. Tripp has a brother who is a lute player. Tripp has knack for magic.He is 38 years old. Tripp never really knew his father and was raised by his mother and sisters.

#### Wa Chuwan - Guilt Driven Monk

Once a street urchin who desired the secrets of the monks, a self proclaimed child prodigy he grew tired of how long the training was taking and asked to advance faster. In a heated argument with his sensai he threw a sconce on the ground onto the floor of the leaf monastery causing a fire to quickly spread. The event wracked Wa Chuwan with guilt who took a vow of asceticism to become a better monk and to punish himself. Upon hearing that Tripp saved people from the fire he felt indebted to Tripp and decided to join Bork and Tripp on their journeys. The fire has filled him with a fetish for flames. Wa Chuwan also has a hair-trigger when it comes to seeing photographs of women. Has a crooked nose from getting punched in a game of cards. Has a retroactive brain virus. He enjoys Hot water as his drink of choice. Wa Chuwan is a teetotaler. He enjoys spicy foods to the point where he will eat a mouthful of wasabi if given the chance. Wa Chuwan isn't his birth name, rather it is a title bestowed upon him when he was at the temple which means Ambitious Orphan.His catchphrase is "I done took n told you"

#### Fizwidgit

A gnome bard in his 50's which works out to be the cusp of adulthood for gnomes, he seeks to find his father who has been missing for many years. Fitzwidigit is played by Menen S1E6 and onwards. His main skill is juggling and fights with magic.Can be surprisingly intimidating, uses threats of disease rather than physical harm.Really likes swimming, has many many siblings. Played mushroom ball, a game similar to basketball but played on a field of mushrooms. He doesn't like caves or being underground.

### **Cube Men**

Starting in episode S1E9 Temporary main party members began to appear from a mysterious cube the party obtained. They will be listed here as they are not major characters in their own right but are anything but minor. (Yes I know that minor doesn't mean lesser)

#### Lorcan Bailar

A sorcerer Elf whose mind was so warped by his stay in the cube that he could not pronounce his own name and seemed generally confused about what was going on at any given time. He was sucked into the cube exactly 2000 years ago. people once looked up to him but they are all dead by now. His decedents are dancers. In his days he was a sort of peacekeeper. The gained his magic by traversing the woods until he found a pit of dark energy which traversed into him. Lorcan did something terrible with this new power and dedicated his life to transverse the lands, helping him. He was sucked back into the cube at the end of S1E9.

#### Christoph Walkenback

A Halfling Bard known in his time to be a famous actor. Was hanged for crimes of adultery in a past life before being taken into the cube. Wears a nice little suit but no shoes. He carries a flute in nature's coinpurse. His afterlife was akin to Christopher Walken. Walkenback has a weakness for dwarf women. His last words as he was being hanged were "this is what your wife sounded like".

### **Minor**

#### Captian Tiberius Havar

   Staff at Camp Loren, greeted the heroes as they entered camp. Really loves his ~~dead~~ wife. Asked the party to help him investigate the murder of Issac.His body was later found in the ruins of the Hart Burn where he seems to have burned to death.Had a small head. According to Akriff Dagon he ran into the forest in a fit of madness. Also according to Akriff he likes to pretend that his wife is still alive despite her being dead for years. Havar returned as some sort of flesh doll in the sewers of Yop, revealing that he knew Izen was up to no good, that he was working with a doppelganger and that Izen had tried to kill the party. He reveals his last memories were of arriving to the Hart Burn before succumbing to mysterious wounds. Havar's last thoughts were of his wife.

#### Mrs Maria Havar

The wife of Tiberius Havar, she gave him a dagger which was later used in a murder. She is ~~drop-dead~~ gorgeous. According to Akriff Dagon she was taken by cancer and died many years ago.

#### Lieutenant Izen Karo

Staff at Camp Loren. Large square box of a Half-elf (half human) He has a fondess for McNamara but that is where it ends as he is a Eunuch.He locked the group in a dungeon for unknown reasons before moving the entire camp to Yop. He is friends with Akriff Dagon. Izen failed out of the Clown Academy before joining Royal Academy and opens up emotionally if you get him drunk.

#### Fergus Tanuk

Staff at Camp Loren. He is a merchant who supplies Camp Lore. He was on contract for the Northern Kingdoms.

#### Private Sconcesiska McNamara

Staff at Camp Loren. Female, Half-elf half human.

#### Isaac Drakeroot

Writer of the Journal of Isaac Drakeroot. Found dead in SE1EP1 he was the favorite inspector of the King of the Northern Kingdom. Isaac was sent to Camp Loren to get it up to snuff where he himself was snuffed. Blue-Blooded, inbred and generally royal.

#### Footman Andre Peters

Just a guy, old guy, just a guy doing shit. Was supposed to protect Issac but was hostile to him out of jealousy for his position. Peters barely escaped the fire at the Hart Burn and went to run the stables in Ranrokc.

#### Bork's Dad

    Proponent of the safety of sconces. He was a pirate captain who one day while plundering a town Bork's Dad went to the house of the Governor and picked up an obvious sconce based trap, Bork's dad was so trusting of sconces that he thought the trap could never be tired to the sconce and was crushed by a large piece of heavy material that fell from the ceiling killing him instantly.Bork's dad was a non-orc.

#### Gabe Newawl

A legendary toy maker, seller, and creator of the hoop n stick. Some say that he would come each summer and steal your wallet like a reverse Santa.

#### Nic

    The owner of The Hurt barn, he uses magic to serve patrons in order to keep his magical skills in tip top shape even though he dropped of wizards college when he bought the tavern. He is French.

#### Harvix

A struggling bard with some unorthodox opinions. Harvix doesn't intend to go on racist tirades but recently has been unable to keep his unpopular opinions to himself. He does childrens partys,events, weddings, and funerals but no longer does Bar Mitzvahs for obvious reasons. He wears an amulet that has bound a curse to him that makes him speak his mind until he is a better man.

#### Melandra

The wife of Nic, she is a Witch and a fortune teller.

#### Prince Muzk

A worried elvin Prince of a far away land on a quest of redemption and foibles. Lost the ancient stone that powered his city on a dare. this lead him to being banished from his kingdom in the south. Gave the party a letter to be taken to Yop.

#### Gavroche

Guardian of Prince Muzk, supposedly a ladies man.

#### Arlondo

Dwarf Cleric on a never-ending quest to prove himself. Follower of Ralm. Ralm gave him a dream where he bestowed a quest upon him to find a scroll which was burned up in a fire one hundred years ago and so he has deemed that he should learn the knowledge that was once on the scroll to recreate the scroll. A wanted criminal in the Dwarvish Homelands for unknown reasons.

#### Perfect Paul & Sweet Simon

A cool man and a nice man, this duo are mercenaries hanging about the Hurt Barn waiting for work. They describe themselves as sell-swords extraordinaire but are drunk when they meet the party. they are offended by the party and leave never to be seen again.

#### Ezark and Lunk

    A Half Giant and an Ork pair. A rival pair of mercenaries who also hang around the Hurt Barn without work. The pair met their grisly end in the basement of the Hurt Barn.

#### Vicar of Soupro:Tim

This Vicar lives at the Church of Soupro in Yop.

#### Limerick King of Yop (Dethroned)

The undisputed king of Limericks.along with his wife he loses the 2nd annual limerick off horribly.

#### Akriff Dagon

    The owner of the manor in Yop, a fan of Limericks. He is a patron of the arts. His grandfather started a cult and because of this Akriff must inform anyone who comes to his home that his family was involved in this cult.This cult believed in the power of blood to shape a person into anything they wished. Long time friend to Izen Karo.

#### Lifeguard Hoss

a lifeguard for the Dagon Manor's Swimming pool.He is not needed in the slightest as the pool is shallow and no one ever uses it but he does make enough to live on doing this job.

#### Cook Lindsey

    A bakester who works in the kitchens of Dagon Manor, her specialty is Irish Stew but she also makes a damn good spicy curry. She is married and lives away from the manor.

#### Colby the Kobold

    A Kobold who is very alive and not dead and also recovering, he reminds us all to follow Devon\_Riley on Twitch.tv.com/Devon\_Riley and promises that Devon will make more promo videos in the future for DnD every Saturday!

#### Kyril Stuck'Ems

    An orc who was found in the sewers of Yop, he bricked himself into a small chamber of the sewer to save himself from the flesh monsters.He was rescued by the party. Kyril had a buisness in Yop called Kyril Stuck'Em's Buisnez. as well as the Hart Burn. Kyril describes the person who burned down his bar to be a half elf like Izen and what appeared to be a royal investigator but seemed to keep his identiy hidden, when the fire caught Kyril fled to the sewer.

#### Wexel

Companion of Arlondo, he was once a monk of the leaf monastary and was away when it burned down, he is horrified by the news but thanks Tripp for his heroism. Back in Quayonascoddsea Wexel conducted private experiments in his windmill.

#### Lafando

Wa Chuwan's mentor back in the leaf monastery. In addition to teaching new monks he also helped with clean up and maintenance of the temple.

#### Condis Fleeb

        The Half Human/Dwarf lawmaker and hero who Penned the Fleeb concord allowing humans to have their own freedom from the dwarven mines and to live in relative peace with the each other. Humans and dwarves wear purple on Fleeb Day to celebrate this agreement and the hero Condis himself who wore purple when he signed the agreement. Fleeb choses a host after his death so that his lawful spirit may spread forever, the First host of Fleeb was known by many names such as Gabby the Lonesome, The Warbler, Henry's Lucky Avacado, Mister Stradivarius, Dearest Uncle, Fleeb's Clicky Kneecap, the Fighter of Mans and of course Pompy. The first host of Fleeb was created from a pine tree so that he may make the world slimy and malleable by spreading his goo all over the world.

#### Wa Chingyu

Wa Chuwan's Sifu whom he got into a yelling match with shortly before the fire at the leaf monastery.

#### Bertold

The half-ling owner of the General Store in Ranrokc.

#### Lieutenant Pebblethroat

The head of the Dwarfish border control. Dies in a horrible attack on the border office.

#### Corcorchorial Barbasar

A long winded wizard who opens his home to travelers He is a leisuremancer who specializes in making places comfortable. he is the brother of Nic, the owner of the HeartBurn.

#### Puco Greyblade

Dwarf with a Ralm Tattoo on the back of his ear. Threatened to report Tripp for his ralm praising. A Shitbird. uses a polearm

#### Archibald (Archie) T. Fibula MD & Harold "The Barrel"

Travelling companions, Archie died an untimely death and Harold, an amateur necromancer brought him back as a skeleton. They travel selling potions and gives out free samples, There latest concoction does seemingly random effects that last seemingly random amounts of time.

#### Shelly McTavish

A Grandiose warrior who has reputation as a folk hero and has a history of working with Bork and Tripp to defeat an unnamed monster. Once beat a man to death with his penis.

## Places

#### **Continent** - **Roanok**

> *"Adrift in the mantioc sea the continent of Roanok is home to a plethora of races. To the north lie seafaring human colonies, settled over a thousand years ago. On the western peninsula the gnomish homelands of marsh and hills. Toward the center of the continent lie the Dwarfish Mountain Holds, great catacombs of gold and gems hidden beneath the earth. The southern badlands and forests are home to both Elf and Orc, both of which are fighting constantly over precious water and land" - Se001Ep001 "Welcome to Roanok*
>
>

    Roanok is not to be confused with *Roanoke, Virginia*.

### **Regions**

#### **Gnomeian Highlands/Homelands/ Fairbrook**

A learned region of the Gnomes which produces many books regarding mechanical design of intercourse machines.

#### **The Northern Kingdoms**

This area was the starting point for our heroes. The land is covered in snow and an *"Insufferable cold [that] has long permeated the surroundings of the human colonies"* While more heat loving races tend to stay away from the area the more hardy humans and some stray outsider races also inhabit the region. Has a lot of Witches who like to hex dead bodies. Humans are constantly at war with everyone.

#### **Silvestri**

Home of the Elves such as Muzk. Cities here rely on magic to power various defenses and industry

#### **Prael**

The island chain that halflings come from, in the past they invaded the dwarfish lands by ship

#### **Zamur**

Orcish Colonies, it's not uncommon for half-orcs to be found here.

#### **The Republic of Beasts**

A surprising strong and varied region, originally founded by Orcs from the south the region and has attracted the attention of Orcs Goblins ,Kibolds, Drow, Doppelgangers, & Trolls as well as nominal Human, Gnome, Dwarven and Elvish populations. The republic leaders are determined by popular vote however mostly Goblins hold these positions due to their election rigging. There is an education system in place here that rivals the other Regions and the average Iq score is Sethyr, an average determined by Nover Sethyr, the most average person who ever lived.

#### **T'arnir**

The stronghold of the Dwarves, This region is mountainous which suit the needs of the Dwarves just fine.The Capital is called Tarnir. Ralm is not well liked here.

### **Cities,Towns and Settlements**

#### **Quayonascoddsea**

The town from which Tripp reportedly is from. The mayor Phillip Glass oversees the town, sounds like a heck of a place. formally Home of the Leaf Monastery which burned down in a great fire that destroyed a significant amount of life and surrounding land. The Great fire however was credited up to the poor standards of fire safety as the whole monastery was made out of dried grass and leaves and built over top of the coal monastery. The monastery also housed Mimic related relics.Gloves of clapping originate here.In the northern Kingdom.

#### **The Hurt Barn**

A tavern at the crossroads between Yop and Corningdale. A converted barn with huge barn doors. Has a rustic charm. The Tavern seems to be doing well despite it's odd location and has many patrons ranging from elves to dwarves due to his cheap drinks. The bartender is a practicing magic user named Nic who dropped out of wizard college and bought the place to stay afloat. The building was originally a very beat up old barn before being converted to a tavern by Nic.

#### **The Hart Burn**

A sister establishment to The Hurt Barn near the The Hurt Barn. Geographically the Hart Burn exists both on the same road to Yop as the Hurt Barn but also on the other side of Yop suggesting the road makes a large U around Yop. The Hart Burn burnt down while the party were sleeping at the Hurt Barn. This establishment has a history of blood cultist rituals.This establishment was burned down by Izen and an unknown compatriot and was the final resting place of Tiberius Havar, It was formally owned by Kyril Stuck'Ems.

#### **Corningdale**

A settlement West of Yop and The Hurt Barn.

#### **Yop**

A Settlement in the north where Tripp's cousin lived. it is east of Corningdale and The Hurtbarn. A charming eloquent shithole. Home to the Dagon Manor and the Church of Soupro, There is an annual limerick competition here sponsored by the church and the manor.

#### **Mines of Hoppofff**

The heroes here bluffed they were cannibalistic barbarians and had to eat a dead dryad to scare the others into leaving them alone.

#### **Camp Loren**

a Camp where Issac Drakeroot traveled to for an investigation. A lackluster camp, fringe outpost of the northern kingdom.

#### **Ranrokc**

A small town south of Yop in the northern kingdoms. A lovely place. A town of mixed races due to it's proximity to the borders of T'arnir. The bar here is called the Half Pint. Smells like horses. attractions include the Tower of Grumbo

#### **Mossbottom**

A Gnomish town which Fizwidgit hails from.

#### **Corcorchorial Barbarshar's House**

The home of the Wizard Corcorchorial Barbarshar, Open to travelers. Corcorchorial puts a shield around his property which keeps it nice and temperate in the frozen north. The tents have plumbing supported with magic.

#### **The Old Capital (Dwarf)**

many years ago war-like halfings from an island laid waste on the dwarf capital, the ruins still exist but are filled with various barbarians and other no-good-nicks.

## Items and Equipment

* **Glove of Clapping -** Found in se1ep1 by Tripp. *When worn the right handed leather glove produces a clap sound when the word "Butterfinger" is uttered.* Created as an answer to the question "what is the sound of one hand clapping" in the Leaf Monastery, these gloves became popular in the area as a novelty. Despite the description the glove works whether worn or not.
* **A Big Stick** **-** The primary weapon of Wa chuwan which he started with. It serves as a quarter staff in combat.
* **Green Headband-** A headband made out of fine green material of the royal court of the Northern Kingdom. It was taken from the body of Issac Drakeroot in se1ep1. Worn by Wa Chuwan
* **Bork's Maul-** The starting weapon for Bork, he whispers to it sometimes before bed.

## Plot Summary

#### **Episode 0 - ???**

The mysterious prequel reportedly not canon.

#### **Season 001 ep 001 Dungeons and Devons: Bindl's Twisted Ambition - Metronome Overwhelming! OR The Trouble with Tribbles?! (also known as Pretend Men)(also also known as Who Killed?)**

This episode featured no props but metronome did dress up as his character Wa Chawan and an audience member brought a cowl. The episode opens with our heroes on a road heading south. The heros are leaving the Mines of Hoppoff after fighting some dryads and looking for respite. The boys find a dead body which Tripp reasons out to be a dead Elf who died from a stab in the back with a dagger which reads *"from your eternal love, Maria"* the victim had not been dead for more than three hours. Tripp logic's out that this is a trap while covering himself in blood and spreading his fingerprints all over the crime scene. Wa Chuwan lusts for the royal cloth around the body and tries to convince the others to allow him to take a headband worth of the green cloth. Tripp goes to a nearby well to clean himself but instead finds a book with a large golden latch titled "Issac Drakeroot's Journal" written in common. They read the journal as Wa Chuwan cleans Tripp and Bork investigates the crime scene more. The bloody footprints lead to the remains of Camp Loren. Captain Havar greets the party who inform him of the demise of Issac who then runs out of the camp to the crime scene. Havar declares the dagger to be his. Wa Chuwan finally convinces Havar to allow him his headband worth of cloth. Havar convinces the party to investigate the murder as a third party in exchange for the Kings favour, cloth and lodgings. The party are invited into Havar's work tent to rest and they investigate the tent before they sleep. The party finish reading the journal revealing that Issac believed he had conspirators against him but the rest of the book is ripped out. the next morning they meet Lieutenant Izen Karo and Footman Peters who both reveal a grudge against the deceased. The gang speak to Fergus the merchant who offers to trade what he knows for help opening a large ornate chest which has a riddle on it written in elvish. Tripp annoyed yells the answer to the riddle which Wa Chuwan translates to open the chest revealing only sand and a single gold coin but Fergus tells the group that the Private got into a shouting match with Issac the night before the murder.They confront the Private who stonewalls them when they reveal what they know until Bork charms her, she reveals she was trying to convince the investigator not to reprimand her but offers no more than that. The heroes then grill Havar on his battle plans and how it doesn't match up to Issac's Journal. Havar relents and gives the companions another page of the journal that incriminates the Merchant and so the group go and intimidate the Merchant who confesses that he is a doppelganger and that he killed Issac . The doppelganger explains he just wanted to live a simple life of the merchant whose identity he stole and that the inspector would have revealed that he was a monster and ruined his humble life so the doppelganger had to kill him. The doppelganger offers his savings for his freedom but group decide to arrest him anyways. This doppelganger decided to resist arrest and so bork swung wildly at him, while this miss it allowed Tripp to get in a powerful sneak attack with his knife, Wa Chuwan whiffs with his staff allowing the doppelganger to strike tripp in the leg causing a fairly substantial injury. Bork who has now recovered smashed the doppelganger in the skull knocking him stone cold onto the floor. The group tie up his unconscious body and pocket a small treasure map dropped by the crook. Tripp pockets some sand and the gang finds 2 and half gold pieces on the body. The party carry the merchant back to Captain Havar who rewards the party with 20 gold pieces each. The gang end the day by getting to the treasure cave but as soon as they enter Izen blocks them in.

### **Season 001 Episode 002 First Delve**

The episode picks up where the last left off with the party trapped in a dungeon. Bork tries to remove the rock blocking them in but it is replaced with two more rocks. Tripp notices the candles are floating without sconces and senses they are very magical. The only option is to move forward and so Bork cowered behind Tripp who boldly moved into the darkness, sensing nothing the rest of the group ventures forth. Wa Chuwan convinced that a pile of skulls is a mimic throws a rock the skull where many rats played, destroying the pile. Tripp consoles his friend and notices a breeze indicating an opening elsewhere in the dungeon. Tripp sets off a trap that reveals a slime cube and the party takes a moment to let Tripp recover from sand going into his eyes. The group follow a fork in the path to a chest flanked by real candles Tripp assures the group that the chest couldn't be a mimic but once he feels the chest is breathing and sweating he decides he may have been mistaken. Bork in vain tries to convince the party to fight it anyways but they reason out that it would be a hard fight and not worth the reward and so they double back and continue down a different part towards a second chest. Tripp notes that the chest isn't booby-trapped but contains one single suspiciously nice pinecone. Bork takes the pinecone as Tripp realizes it's just enchanted to be wanted causing two skeletons to rise and attack.. Tripp tries to trip one which then smacks Tripp knocking him unconscious on the ground. The second skeleton attacks Wa Chuwan giving him a small cut on his ribs. Wa Chuwan crushes the attacking skeleton with his really long stick and Bork misses the skeleton leering over the downed Tripp. Tripp tries to stand but cannot. Wa Chuwan makes a desperate swing that misses the skeleton. Bork hits the skeleton with a rattling hit that doesn't quite kill the skeleton but removes half his bones. The slender skeleton hops around not really doing any damage but running down the clock on tripp as he ducks and weaves the other boys. Tripp manages to not succumb to his wounds and Wa Chuwan over-hands his stick, knocking the skeleton completely asunder. Bork rouses Tripp long enough to feed him his health potion which crashed D20. After a short rest the gang continue down the stairs. Tripp finds a rooms with paintings and takes them. Tripp meets a goblin but before he can say anything Bork pins him to a wall with a javelin. Wa Chuwan takes the painting in this room as Tripp shames Bork. Wa Chuwan searches the dead goblin for couple silver pieces and a photo of his goblin wife which he promptly ruins. The party splits up to explore the floor, Bork takes the goblin corpse as a shield. The party split up and explored this floor finding it to be further inhabited by Orks and Skeletons. Bork finds a chest which Tripp opens to obtain a shortbow. Bork finds a hole in the wall and grabs a bag of coins out of it which sets up off a steam trap, bork finds the bag to be full of chocolate coins. The party carefully move from room to room avoiding Orks and Skeletons and collecting paintings until they find a fairy ring. Both Wa Chuwan and Bork enter the ring and are put into an odd glazed eye state and they start to demand the glove of clapping from Tripp. Tripp doesn't want to and so tries to burn the fairy ring in vain. Tripp refuses to give them a glove and ring expels them, they decide to leave the room. They find themselves in a room that smells like sulfur where tripp gives his glove of clapping to Bork. The gang find another riddle chest and after easily solving both riddles releases Fizwidget the Gnome who is dazed and confused. The party recognize him and decide to help him. Fitzwidget reveals that the books in the dungeon on schematics on how to make sex machines. In another book filled room the doors close as the group enters and they must solve another riddle! The books here are written in a language none of the party understand so they follow the riddle's advice and break the sconces, rendering the room black and showing that some books glow blue. The crew each grab a book and doors unlock. The final room is guarded by two skulls which Tripp distracts with his glove of clapping, luring them away so that they may all escape up a staircase and to freedom as they clamber out of the well from the first episode and think whether they take revenge on Karo or move on.

### **Season 001 Episode 003 Hurt Barn**

After some deliberation the gang decide the best course of action is to skirt the outside of the camp to see what is going on there. The party discover that most of the camp has packed up and is now gone except the captain's tent. Bork points out the captain had a lot of swords and they peak into the captain's tent however it's empty save some empty containers and one crate of very kissable apples which everyone eats/kisses except Fitzwidget who looks on in horror. The group then investigate the rocky area where they found the dungeon entrance in S1E1 finding nothing. Decideing there is nothing left to do here the heros decide to head north (even though they initially came from the north and thus would be backtracking but thanks to a sudden shift in polarity of the earth north is now south and so they go in a new direction) where they find the Hurt Barn a Tavern on the crossroads between Yop and Corningdale which lay to the east and west respectively. Bork walks into the tavern because he wants to drink so the others follow.The tavern is nice and warm, the patrons seem generally friendly and so the group stay a while enjoying some hot drinks. The Bartender uses actual magic to serve the group. After some drinking the group are taken with the local bards hate-speech infused version of a classic song and decide to question the performer on the lyrical content. The bard is very ragged looking man named Harvix who for some reason can't help but to infuse his songs with his true repugnant opinions on elves, women and other groups. Harvix shows the group an amulet he gained recently which Wa Chuwan reads and deduces that the amulet bears a curse that makes Harvix speak his mind until he becomes a better person. The group considers Harvix to be a lost cause and leaves him to suffer. Bork, Wa Chuwan and Tripp go to see Melandra,the wife of Nic and the fortune telling witch. Melandra agrees to give the party a "deep reading" in exchange for clearing some rats from the basement. Bork jumps down the trapdoor to the basement. Bork finds two rat-like bidpedal monsters with knives worshiping a makeshift idol. Bork falls over and the rats turn their attention towards Bork as he picks himself up. Bork smears the first rat's brains over the floor with a well placed javelin. The 2nd rat enraged by the murder of his friend tears into Bork who bashes the rat down with his maul to get him off of him. The resulting splat hits three of the four basement walls. Bork approaches the idol and takes the content including a cup, and some coins. The cup when taken starts to shake very quickly and so Bork holds onto the cup harder. The cup violently tries to wrench itself from Bork to no avail, coins inside the cup float around the cup and a hole in space opens. This space and time portal summons forth an abomination resembling fleshy vomit with teeth. Bork gets the rest of the party to show them this weird creature who react in confusion. Tripp decides the best course of action is to ask Melandra about the flesh creature. Melandra wants to see the monster who has now slimed away down a grate in the floor. Tripp investigates the scene and finds a single ruby which he displays to the group. The group find a dungeon like sewer under the grate. Wa Chuwan takes the black coins, pitch black and oval shaped. Wa Chuwan decides to talk to the Elvin travelers who reveal that Harvix's curse is a common form of punishment for the dark elves. The elves give wa chuwan a letter to be delivered to Yop. The party discus their plan around a very busy cleric of Ralm who gives the group a cold shoulder until Tripp mentions Ralm. Ralm tells the party of his quest to find a scroll that was burned in a fire many years ago and is impressed by the ideas for reclaiming the knowledge on the scrolls which include finding notes about the scroll and doing a rubbing. The gang rolls over to the next table to meet Perfect Paul and Sweet Simon who describe themselves as the best soldiers for hire in all the world. Meanwhile Fizwidgit is hitting it off with Lunk and Erzak, a rival mercenary pair. Tripp schemes to get the two mercenary pairs to compete in three trials, a game of intelligence, a riddle off. a game of courage "whats in the Grate" and a game of strength that is a sword battle. The mercenaries and the party make their way to the basement to start the trials. The winner of the riddle off are Lunk and Erzak with a terrible riddle about fishing. The courage test involves each team sending one member down the hole. Lunk and Paul jump down the hole. Paul returns first with five rat skulls followed by Lunk with a handful of rubies. Lunk is declared the winner and so Erzak and Lunk are declared the winners overall but Paul and Simon call the contest rigged and leave. Lunk looks out of sorts and bursts open like a caccoon for a flesh monster whom consumes the corpse of Lunk and then swallows Erzak whole. The party have to fight this orc-fed monster to escape the basement. The beast is lit on fire by Fizwidgit, Tripp seeing how the beast hates fire harries the monster with a scone allowing Bork to smash the flesh monster to pieces with his hammer, defeating it. The monster's body turns into a fist sized ruby. Tripp smacks the ruby and the party go upstairs. The gang leave the tavern carrying some belongings from Lunk's table heading off towards Yop but not before Wa Chuwan tells Nic about the ruby in his basement.

### **Season 001 Episode 004 Next Stop: Yop part 1 of 2**

Tripp, Bork, Wa chuwan and Fitzwidget are walking down the road towards Yop. The group come across a burned down building. Tripp tastes the soot and determines the fire happened four or five hours ago. Tripp determines the building to be the Hart Burn and a body inside to be that of Captain Tiberius Havar. Havar has a colourless gem on his person.Bork takes his helmet as evidence of his death. Tripp investigates the burnt up body, the face is mostly intact and trip finds footprints leading away from the fire, Tripp follows these footprints to the tree line where he is attacked by three dire wolves wearing shoes. Wa Chuwan beats one to death with hands, Fizwidgit distracted the second while Tripp slipped a dagger into it's brain stem and the last wolf is surrounded and beaten to a pulp by the entire group. The group set up camp and skin then cook up their kills. Wa Chuwan makes some wolf-fur arm cuffs, Tripp manages to get one pelt and Bork can't salvage his wolf's hide. After a short rest the gang arrive in Yop. Wa Chuwan drops into the post office to send the letter handed to him at the Hurt Barn, however the post man is very rude and demands two copper from party to send the letter resulting in a net loss for two copper pieces from an angered Bork. The group check out the local church of Soupro, the god of saxophones. Bork hands off the helmet he took from Havar and Tripp asks about Havar's men, The Vicar tells the party about a limerick competition instead of anything useful. Tripp excited by the competition gives his own limmerick on the spot.

> There once was a man from Yop
>
>

> Who sat on a dick that would flop
>
>

> so he gave him viagra
>
>

> and boy did he have a
>
>

> big erection to bop - Tripp Dickson
>
>

The Vicar is impressed and invites Tripp to join in on the contest. The group explore around the town until the competition begins in the church in front of a very meager crowd. The Party wins 2/3 rounds, (To hear this great limericks make sure to watch the VoDs!) and win an all expenses paid trip to the manor in town for a whole weekend.The party show up to the manor with Akriff Dagon.

### **Season 001 Episode 005 Bork Grease. (Also known as DyD ee pee Cino} -**  **¡ Madre de Dragons!) part 2 of 2**

Most of the group elect to carry their stuff around with them when Madame Fey offers to bring their bags up to their room, all except Bork who removes his weapons first before handing off his sack containing Havar's Helmet. Akriff guides the party around the manor showing them his family crest, an octopus covering the planet and explains his grandfather started a cult and because of that he has to tell all travelers to his manor about it. Bork and Wa chuwan run off to the kitchen to terrorize Chef Lindsey as Tripp and Fitzwidget admire the rest of the home.The group sit down and speak to Akriff who reveals some information behind the troop at camp Loren including a history with Izen whom moved through here and the implied mental issues with the late Captain Havar stemming from the death of his wife. Akriff shows the group to their rooms where Bork shows Wa Chuwan the helmet of Havar asking if they should tell him or not. Wa chuwan speculates that they may have checked Bork's bag. Wa chuwan want's Tripps opinion so they shoo Akriff away and discus the prospect on a bed. Tripp want's no part in this and Wa chuwan advises Bork to hold onto the helmet for now. Exhausted Tripp goes to bed early. The party get changed and go down for dinner where Akriff talks more about his family's blood cult. Akriff tells the party about the local area and the old sewers that run all over the country which belonged to a civilization that was around three thousand years ago. The group move to the pool to tire themselves out and head to bed. The group are awakened several hours later by a large **Thump** noise from downstairs. The heros spring into action and immediatly try to pick open the door to Akriff's bedroom. Tripp picks the lock and Bork breaks the door anyways. The group finds nothing in the room except a chest. Tripp determines no one slept in the bed that night and then opens to chest to obtains the wand of wonders. The group go downstairs and find a trial of blood to the kitchen.The blood leads down a trap door into a cellar with a sewer grate and so the party head into the sewer. Tripp lights a torch and leads the way until they come upon another fleshy horror. Bork throws a pot of oil on it. Fitzwidget lights the monster on fire and the others beat it to death. The monster turns into rubies which Tripp burns and they melt. The group then investigate a hole and by dropping various things into the hole they discover that it is very deep and has a flesh monster at the bottom. Tripp rips up one of his paintings and stuffs it into one of Bork's oil pots then lights it on fire and drops it onto the flesh monster which lights on fire and spreads to the many other flesh monsters in the hole, killing them all horribly. The group continue on and look upon a dead mimic.

### **Season 001 Episode 006 I Juggle! Part 1 of 2**

The group continue on their trek in the dungeon, now deciding what to do about the dead mimic. Fizwidgit observes mimic teeth are legal and worth a good deal so the party take the teeth. The party pull every single teeth out of the mimic noting that the corpse has been mangled, burnt, cut and hurt in every way you can think of, whatever killed it really did a number. Tripp plucks a single silver coin from the mimic's inside. Bork takes the mimic. The group have to cross meter high water. Bork puts Fitzwidget in the mimic and pulls him using Tripp's bowstring across the water while the others follow behind. Tripp tries to judge the depth of a hole by yelling alerting two kobolds. Tripp and Fizwidgit convince the kobolds they mean no harm and the kobolds leave. Around the next corner the group find another hole near some mushrooms and find nothing in the hole. Fizwidgit scares off rats by casting sparks at the. Tripp finds a blocked pathway and determines the rock was recently placed there to block the ladder. The party find a body of a goblin who is torn and battered as harshly as the mimic they found beforehand. The goblin shifts and turns into a small flesh monster which the gang quickly set on fire and then squish, as usual the dead flesh monster turns to ash and rubies, bork pours water over the rubies and then seeing no change smashes then remainder with his hammer. The group then run into a slime, Bork runs to dip his mimic in sewage while Fizwidgit burns the slime to death. The group carefully navigate another hall filled with fairy rings without falling in. The group run into a giant flesh monster in a corridor of stones. Bork puts the helmet of Havar into the nearest fairy ring and the party divert their gaze to the fairy rings. The helmet does nothing. Bork spends about five minutes knocking the helmet out of the ring by hitting it with rocks he knocked at it with his hammer. The gang then charge the large flesh monster, tearing into it with their weapons until it's on it's last legs, Fizwidgit readies his flaming hands but then a voice from the metasphere told him the monster was weak and so he boringly stabbed it instead. The party watch the flesh monster writhe in agony which causesFizwidgit to go into a frenzy, he leaps upon the dieing abomination, ripping into it with his knife until he was covered in gore and the monster was nothing more than one giant ruby which they kick down a nearby hole. The party find a life-like dummy of the late Captain Havar with a indentation in his wrist. The statue is made of flesh. The party shove their colourless diamond into this wrist slot and Havar's flesh golem stirs to life. Havar awakes and asks where he is. Havar reveals he left camp loren with his troop to avoid Izen whom he knew had attempted to kill the party. The troop reached a pub in a blizzard and that is the last thing Havar remembers. The party informs Havar he was found dead at the burnt remains of the Hart Burn and that they had brought him to life with the gem, Havar reacts in fear and then in pain as his wounds cripple him. Havar tells them that Izen has terrible plans for Yop , that Izen had been working with the doppelganger and that he knew Izen was up to something but could never pin anything to him before succumbing to his mysterious wounds.His last words were "Tell my wife I love her more than I could ever know". Havar's gem pops loose now colorless again and his head rolls from his shoulders. The party pick up the gem again. Tripp loots a nearby chest to get the Fan of Winds, a wondrous item that makes a strong breeze when the command word is uttered. The party break a passage back to hole that leads downstairs. Bork leaves the helmet with the body of Havar.The gang descend down the hole and find that it's full of dead kobolds which are beaten and battered in the same pattern as the previous dead bodies. The party find a Leesa brand raft and sail down the waterway, where they run into a Roper, a sewage squid monster. After a short exchange of blows where Fizwidgit is struck a tremendos blow Bork and Tripp work together to jam him really long stick into the roper's eye, killing it. Wa chuwan polevaults to the other side and the roper sprays it's blood over all the others on the raft who them climb over the dead roper to reach the end of the waterway.

### **Season 001 Episode 007 Fairy Ring Shuffle 2 of 2**

The company feel enriched from their roper battle and after investigating a dead kobold see a nearby small flesh monster. Bork hits it with one of his javelins and Wa Chuwan thwaps it on one of his heads to make sure it's dead. Wa Chuwan pranks Tripp by heating up his dagger as he hands it to him using his fire attunement powers he just gained. As the party advances Tripp sniffs out a newly patched up wall. Bork has been jumping around corners yelling "Surprise!" and sees no one around the corner. Tripp points at the wall and Bork happily crushes the wall, he investigates the hole and finds an orc trapped behind the wall.The orc reveals he owned the Hart Burn and that a man matching Izen's description and a cloaked stranger in royal investigator green burned it down. The orc Kyril Stuck'Ems offers to see some discounted items to the party who stock up. They come across another beat up goblin corpse on the outside of a fairy circle which blocks the hall. Tripp detects magic as Wa Chuwan loots the dead goblin finding it to be both covered in spores and holding residual fairy circle magic. Bork throws fitzwidget right away and accidently puts him right in the middle of the ring, Fizwidgit tries to convince the others that ring is safe but they don't buy it. Wa Chuwan, Tripp and Bork leap over the circle. The circle fades away and the gang investigate Fizwidgit who seems unaffected. Tripp ties a rope down a hole on the other side of where the fairy circle was and the gang descend down another level. Down the hole at the end of the hallway a small flesh monster is eating a goblin and Tripp and Fizwidgit sneak up on it while it's distracted. Tripp manages to strike it in a vital organ and he runs away in case it reacts. The group watch the beast turn into rubies and Fitzwidigit takes the goblins only item, one copy of the very hungry caterpillar. The group find another fairy circle and groan to themselves as they easily cross it.The party finally come upon another freshly bricked up wall and on the other side they hear the same noise they heard in the manor. (\*knock knock\* ERRR ACHCHCHCHCHCH). Bork breaks down the wall and see Izen with a large flesh monster. Bork relizing the beast and Izen are standing in flammable sewage throws a light oil pot at the pair, the flesh monster catches aflame but Izen snaps his fingers and the flesh monster douses itself with a spray of water. Izen taunts the Tripp saying that the citizens of Yop would love to talk to the party and he is shocked that they haven't succumb to a mimic by now. Wa Chuwan says it seems like they have been set up. Izen escapes and the Flesh Giant attacks. Tripp and Bork weaken the beast with ranged attacks causing it to lash out at Tripp but miss. Fitzwidget and Wa chuwan cook the beast with fire magic. Bork tries to do a cool finishing move but trips and hits it while swinging his maul to regain balance. The beast dies and leaves a ruby three Borks in volume. Bork smashes the ruby to dust and the gang run into the pipe Izen escaped from to the Hart Burn. The group decide they should head to Yop and see what Izen meant with his threat and fine that it is on fire covered in blood. The boys run to the manor to investigate and finds it full of medium sized flesh monsters. Bork easily knocks one out of the way and group head upstairs where they meet Kyril Stuck'ems again. Kyril says that he came there looking for his wand of wonders and Tripp hands it over much to the annoyance of the group.

### **Season 002 Episode 001 Snow Son (Session 8)**

Kyril tells the group about a book with notes about the flesh monsters that he found with his brother years ago. Kyril says that you can turn the rubies back into people meaning that the group have killed hundreds of people by destroying the rubies. The book was left under the Dwarven capital in an old city. Kyril then taunts Tripp about giving him the wand saying it was a bad move, Tripp breaks a little bit and starts talking crazy at Kyril who is sort of creeped out by not intimidated however Bork stares at Kyril who flinches a bit allowing Tripp to advance on Kyril and scare him into giving the wand back. The group decide to head towards the capital instead of chasing Izen and hit the road out of town. The travelers come upon a camp of dwarves Arlondo among them who says that he has given up on his scroll quest and Ralm will forgive him. Arlondo says all he could find at the penning site were some fireworks which he hands out to each member of the party. Fizwidgit makes a snowman and does so with such skill that it comes to life much to the amusement of the party except Bork who is deathly afraid of it. The snowman talks to Fizwidgit as a dad as tripp interacts with Arlondo's friends. The trio gang up on Tripp and Fizwidgit and quiz them on the ideals of Ralm to see if they would make good Ralm followers. Fizwidgit fails immediately but Tripp uses his keen senses to guess the correct answers and become good friends with the Ralm followers. Wa Chuwan and the monk Wexel speak of the leaf monastery Wa Chuwan lets it slip he might be responsible for the fire. The group stay at the camp the night, with Bork sleeping outside. Bork decides to entertain the snowman who is sleeping outside with him by lighting his firework and throwing it into the air but barely throws it out of range of hurting himself. The firework zips up into the air and explodes into a beautiful purple star that the snowman watches intently. The next morning the snowman asks Fizwidgit about the fire and how he wants to touch it. The group decide to name the snowman, Tripp wants to name him Jebediah and Wa chuwan votes for Leafando, Fizwidgit settles on Snowfando and the snowman excitedly accepts the name. Wexel pulls Wa Chuwan aside and asks how does he sleep at night and Wa Chuwan wants to leave the camp right away before he is exposed. The party travel down the road to the town of Ranroke. Tripp locates the stables by asking around and the group run into Footmen Peters who now runs the stables. Peters explains he thought that Izen had killed them and that he himself barely escaped the fire in the Hart Burn. The party inform Peters of the strange goings on's involve Havar and Havar's living statue. Peters infroms the group that Izen said that the group we evil and that he had killed them in the woods. Wa chuwan tells Peters that the group needs horses to catch Izen and save the people of the North. Peters sets up the cart and horse team for the party but says packing will take an entire day so the group have to entertain themselves. The general store is closed because it's Fleeb day, a day commemorating the concord between humans and dwarves that allow them to live in relative peace. The group realize they are not wearing purple and seek the church to ask forgiveness. They enter the church and meet a half-giant preacher who tells the group about Fleeb. Snowfando talks to a girl and makes friends with her until Fizwidgit shoos him away politely. as the duo return to the rest of the group the clock strikes 12 and the Fleeb Day midnight madness sale begins at the general store.

### **Season 002 Episode 002 This Hexahedron Makes Slaves (Session 9)**

The General store is full of people and of goods, the group split up and explore the shop. The store is run by Bertold the Halfling. Bork shows the shop keeper the dead mimic he's been carrying and throws it away when Bertold doesn't understand his meaning. The group notice a magical glowing cube and the offer that if anyone can read whats on the cube they can keep it, Wa Chuwan inquires about it and Bertold says he can't sell it because he can't identify it. Wa Chuwan reads out the inscription which is written in Elvish and solves the riddle as he reads it. The cube reacts, unhinging, spinning and shining, the group shield their eyes and when they look back a loud wizard is sitting where the cube once was. The wizard introduces himself as Lorcan Bailar who is mentally beyond the group and thus is very eccentric. He reveals that he was trapped in the cube and Wa Chuwan claims him to be his property which Loren just goes with. Fizwidgit buys an artic orb to keep snowfando from melting which he pushes into Snowfando's forehead. Wa Chuwan buys a magic drawing stick. Tripp buys some veiled leather armour and a beginners spell book. Bork brings an enchanted greatsword to the counter and points to the dead mimic he brought in earlier and the shopkeeper is confused, tripp comes over and Bork sells the chalice with help from Tripp for the price of the sword and to remove the dead mimic from the shop which Bork agrees to. The sword lets Bork breath underwater. Tripp buys a giant pile of things including a whip, camping supplies and a holy dagger. Wa Chuwan starts selling his paintings and when the shop keeper isn't impressed Lorcan bluffs that the paintings are worth double their price. Wa Chuwan sells his socks as well but the shop keeper won't accept his books since he doesn't know what they are. Tripp finally buys up the last of the magical items, a Fez, a pair of boots and a scroll. Wa Chuwan buys darts, a pair of magic socks and a tent. The group go outside and see Bork's handiwork with snowfandos stone crown. Tripp gives Lorcan a new set of clothes that he bought for him and Lorcan uses his light spell conceal himself as he changes. Bork jumps into a well holding his sword of water-breathing to test it out. The party climb into Peter's wagon and hit the road. Lorcan tells the group of his past until the cart reaches wooden blockage. As Bork dismantles the barricade a blizzard sweeps towards the party. Fizwidgit jumps on snowfando to touch his arctic orb and protect himself, Tripp detects magic and touches the stone as well. Bork and Wa Chuwan see whats going on and also huddle around snowfando. Bork remembers the fan and mutters to Tripp to get his fan out to combat the blizzard. Tripp divines that the blizzard is magical in nature. Lorcan puts up a magical shield to protect the horses.The Group make it out ok but once the snow subsides they are beset on all sides by goblins and wolves. Two Wolves guide one goblin from the north while two goblins approach with a third wolf from the south.. Lorcan burned one goblin to death with an acid spell. Bork hurts one of the wolves with his new sword as he mumbles about being able to breath underwater. Wa Chuwan finishes off two of the enemies with his fire-punches. Fizwidgit burns a goblin to death but is then set upon by two wolves. Bork Grips the wounded wolf and rips it's mouth out realizing his wolf totem powers. Wa Chuwan seeing Fizwidgit in pain takes out his artist quarter staff, bashes one wolf to death in one hit and writes "やりまし 取った そしてあなたに言った" On it's body. He then pole-vaulted over the body and kicked the other wolf in the jaw causing it to release Fizwidgit. Tripp finishes off the last wolf with his knife and Snowfando runs in comfort his wounded daddy. Lorcan is sucked painfully back into the cube.

### **Season 002 Episode 003 Conspicuous Stones and Hollow Bones (Session 10)**

Tripp pours over Fizwidgit who is still not in the best shape, Wa Chuwan loots the dead goblins and gets Fizwidgit a little horned goblin helmet which Fizwidgit tries on. Renewed, Fizwidgit searches the a goblin and finds a blue stone disk which feels very magical. Bork and Tripp work together to clear the road block until Fizwidgit shows Tripp the stone, which distracts him. Bork finishes clearing the road as Tripp notes that the stone has a single dwarfish character on it which he can't read.The party clamber onto the cart and peter takes off again until late in the night where he pulls over at a nice camping place. Bork makes a fire out of wood he salvaged from the road block and the other set up their tents. The party are then distracted by a totally normal rock such that they had seen many times in the past. Wa Chuwan sits down to meditate and Bork throws a snowball at Wa Chuwan who catches the snowball with his monk abilitys, he then forms the snow into a middle finger and goes back to meditating. Once every one is ready for bed the groups split up and share tents with the exception of Snowfando who instead watches the fire. Wa Chuwan has a nightmare about the night the monastery burn down and runs outside in a cold sweat to sit at the fire and think about his mistakes his conflicting feelings about fire. Wa Chuwan hears the snow crunch near the tents and looks over to see a normal sized bear. Wa Chuwan carefully moves to the tent with Tripp, Bork and Fizwidgit and rustles it to try and wake them up without causing too much commotion. Wa Chuwan tells them about the bear and Tripp nocks an arrow and follows the silhouette of the bear. Tripp lowers his arrow as Fizwidgit shows Tripp the firework, Inspired Tripp prepares a "minor illusion spell" to make a auditory illusion to scare the bear away however the scared bear instead runs to Wa Chuwan and Peter's tent which still has Peter inside. Fizwidgit lights his firework and aims it at the bear hitting it straight on and exploding, The bear leaves. Peters comes out to see what the noise was so he and when he sees nothing he goes back to bed. Bork goes foraging as Tripp cooks, Bork finds bark and declares it to be "Bear's Jerky" which he eats greedily. The party are again drawn to the rock and argue about which faces they see in the rock. Finding nothing yet again they sit down and eat their potato breakfast. Fizwidgit talks about his homelands and once they finish eating they all clamber onto the cart. Peters leads them to the border where the dwarves ask for IDs. Bork scares the officer who runs inside for his superior, Lieutenant Pebblethroat, who says they will all need interviews if they have no IDs. After giving their Name, Race, birthplace and religion. When asked about their purpose they the group lie and say pleasure. Pebblethroat asks the group about Arlondo adding he is a wanted criminal and furthermore warns tripp that Ralm is not a popular god in the Dwarvish Homelands. Bork decides to help by carving a map into the ornate stone table which is in reality no help at all much to the dismay of the Lieutenant. Lieutenant Pebblethroat tells them they have to either hand over any explosives, ie the fireworks or use them before they enter. The party decide to go outside to use them. As they use the fireworks Wachuwan schemes to steal some of the relics in the border control office but the others deny him. Wachuwan keeps his firework and instead uses a spell to replicate the effect of the firework. After they are all disposed of the group are cleared to enter the Dwarfish Lands on their cart.After travelling for twenty minute they hear an explosion behind him and go back to investigate it. The group find the border control office in flames with many dead dwarves slaughtered around it. The group see a person alive inside the burning office.

### **Season 002 Episode 004 Barbashaw Quartet (Session 11)**

Bork loots the deep dwarves for their axes as the others try to figure out how to run into the burning building to save man or treasure inside. Bork starts sniffing around Tripps backpack indicating he wants the magic fan. Wa Chuwan wraps himself in a wet blanket, using his elemental powers to help him. Tripp puts out a near flame to help Wa Chuwan as he runs in and grabs an armful of holy relics before the heat damages him. The rest of the party emboldened by Wachuwan take turns retrieving relics except Bork who saves his table-carving. As the gang exit the building they are attacked by two cloaked figures. Tripp gives his new bow a go and using a dead dwarf to steady an aim strikes a strong blow against one of the monsters and uses his mage hand to unmask the now bloody figure revealing him to be a doppelganger. Bork smashes his table harmlessly over the doppelganger's head as wachuwan failed to harm him as well. The other doppelganger seeks revenge on Tripp but misses his wild stab when his boot gets caught on a nearby fence. Fizwidgit uses dissident whispers to hurt the bloodied doppelganger as Tripp cuts himself free with his holy dagger which he then plunges into the doppelganger's chin. The Doppelganger changes into a dead flesh monster. Tripp runs to help his friend with the other Doppelganger with his wand of wonders which releases a cloud of foul smelling poison the covers everyone who is still alive. The smell doesn't bother Wachuwan at all, his years of training finely honing his fighting skills as he barely bruises his foe. Bork likewise doesn't notice the stench as he is too upset over his artwork shattering and point-blanks the doppelganger with one of his hand-axes which whacks the doppelganger in the head. Tripp is not so lucky and pukes, breaking his concentration along with his spell. Wachuwan finally gets his one-up on the doppelganger who kills himself instead of subjecting himself to interrogation and like the other he turns into a flesh monster and then to rubies. Fizwidgit takes one of their rapiers and bork takes the suicide knife. The group get back onto the cart and discuss what just happened, reasoning the doppelgangers must be working with Kiro. As Tripp tries to recover from the sickness the group identify their relics. Fizwidgit has two black coins, a magical crow skull which shoots flame with a command word which Fizwidgit makes into a necklace and finally has a mage-hand orb which mutes the user for an hour after use which he gifts to his son. Wachuwan gets three black coins and a pouch of ashen dwarf teeth which grant a sleep spell when shaken. Tripp gets a single coin, a Ralm Bell and a bronze bracelet which is one use and grants comprehend languages. Fizwidgit takes possession of the total twelve black coins.The group find Corcorchorial Barbarshar's House as Bork forms the remains of his slate tablet into horns for snowfando. Tripp runs to the tent with running water and washes his eyes out finally. After a quick snack Bork remarks "It's pretty warm in here..." his catchphrase. Tripp talks to a spearman who warns him his religious practices are illegal and then threatens to report Tripp, but Bork scares him off. Bork gives Snowfando an axe which Snowfando rolls up and stores away. Bork Trades a different axe for the one Snowfando absorbed. Wachuwan strikes up a conversation with Archie and skeleton and his friend Harold. The pair of them sell potions which do random effects, The party are a little iffy on them but decide to try free samples of the potions. Tripp grows 9 inches taller. Wachuwan's dose lets him hear what is in Tripps mind. Fizwidgit's taste causes him to shoot a strong fireball out of his hands and destroy a nearby tree. Fizwidgit convinces the duo to give him another shot of potion which he gives to Snowfando, it does nothing but it feels pleasant. Bork chews up his sample cup causing him to turn vibrant red. The party are impressed, causing Wachuwan to buy 20 doses of it in a waterskin. Harold takes some time looking at the black coins the party has been collecting, saying they are used in rituals that allow beings to move from one plain of existence to another. Wachuwan then talks to a magicphobic Shelly McTavish whom Bork and Tripp recognize and catch up with, McTavish has a pouch of the rubies which he chucks into the campfire as soon as he heard of their evil properties. McTavish says he ran into doppelgangers and says he will help the party.The group goes to bed for the night.

### **Season 002 Episode 005 Little Dad Gets Paid (Session 12)**

It's the next day in Corcorchorial's Camp and the cube starts to stir. After a brief shaking out pops Christoph Walkenback singing some strange song much to the distress of Bork and Fizwidgit. Christoph thanks the men for releasing him from his hellish world. After they exchange their niceties they make to leave and Corcorchorial hands them a small silver pin with his name on it in dwarfish. Bork eats the pin to see if it's real and gives another silver pin directly to Fizwidgit who gifts it to Snowfando who also swallows the pin. After a few hours on the road listening to Christoph on the road the group meet a Dwarf child whom Fizwidgit doesn't trust. Peters pulls over the cart to see what the distressed Dwarf needs. However Fizwidgit's gnomish sense of humour gets the better of him and decides to prank the lad by saying some random potion is a healing potion. The prank however backfires, literally, causing the dwarf to shoot lightning out of his eyes, hitting Fizwidgit and causing his heart to nearly stop. As Fizwidgit sizzles in the cart the rest of the party decide the sparky dwarf isn't worth their time and they run away. Walkenback heals some of Fizwidgits burns as the party take a rest on the long roads. They make their way to a crossroads where the party have to decide which route they should go on to reach the capital. They can either go the longer safer way or the shorter but more dangerous way. The long part involves going past the cities of Draz'Dul, The Old Capital, Khazok and finally Tamir, the Dwarven Capital, This will take a week. The second path involves them going through the mountains via a series of old mines and caves and will takes about two days.

     After much deliberation, alternate plans and tales of the wonders of dwarfish cities the group are divided with Bork the deciding party. To break the tie Bork throws his axe while spinning with his eyes closed and decides to follow it towards the mines. Bork takes the time to toss out some rotton meat he had been carrying which Snowfando absorbs. Footman Peters leaves the party to return back to his home town. Tripp convinces Snowfando to give up the flesh which Bork then hangs on a sign he has vandalized for "da eagles n da bears" which Wachuwan supports. The group venture into the mines with their eyes open for leftover ores.Once they go down a floor they find a tight tunnel where they find a chest holding a brass key. Bork takes the chest the key was in to reunite it with the dead mimic he left in Yop which he assumes is his brother. Bork notices he can destory the door, instead he first knocks off the brass knob and hinges which he hands off to Snowfando who uses them to enable Snowfando use of his arm. The group find a supply pile. Wachuwan finds axe handles, Fizzwidget finds chisels, Tripp finds four weak health potions, Christoph finds two gold pieces, Bork finds gunpowder, Wachuwan climbs on top of the pile of crates and finds a locked chest that contains six pouches of five gold each which the party divide up among the party. While all this happens Tripp begins to wonder if Christoph is actually his father which Christoph goes along with and because of it Tripp gives his share to Christoph. The next room the group see a giant slime. Fizwidgit roasts the slime with burning hands before using his raven skull to pelt it with an extra ball of fire. Christoph notices the slime is full of metal bits and decides to heat the metal, boiling off more of the slime. Finally Wachuwan finishes off the slime with a fiery dragon punch. The slime leaves behind throwing knives which Wachuwan takes. It also drops a big iron key. The next room which is unlocked with the iron key contains hundreds of skeletons all surrounding an enchantingly beautiful box. Bork enters the room and sees a sword stuck into the floor which he wants more than anything else and decides to take he broken bloody shortsword. Bork then makes his way to the box as Tripp discovered the skeletons are covered in bites. Wachuwan tries to stop Bork from touching the box as Bork looks in this bag for something. Tripp searches for traps but seems none except possibly the box. Bork withdraws his dagger which he then throws at the box. Wachuwan leaps off Bork and catches the knife with his shoulder. Wachuwan chastises Bork as he withdraws the blade from his body. Snowfando, apparently filled with blood lust, tries to persuade Bork into attacking the box anyways but fails and the group move on. The group move into a narrow trunnel with a chained up skeleton on the near wall. As they pass through the hall they hear snoring on the other side of the wall. The skeleton follows the party down the hall and attacks Tripp who manages to keep it off him until Wachuwan bashes it with his really long stick, Christoph runs in with his crowbar and finishes off the skeleton cementing Tripp's love for his "Dad". Wachuwan explains to Tripp than Christoph cannot be his father as they are different races. The party come to a room full of goblins and Wachuwan looks at his socks which do not glow, he groans as he realizes his socks were a rip-off. Bork steps up and throws a handaxe at the first green thing he sees in the room, smacking it dead-on in the shoulder who retaliates by firing a crossbow bolt at him, it falls harmlessly to the the floor. Christoph tells one of the goblins how he tricked Tripp which causes it to fall into a fit of laughter and Tripp to sob miserably. Bork takes out his maul and attacks the unharmed goblin but misses the laughing goblin. Wachuwan smacks the crossbow goblin with his staff and fists, ending the goblin's life. Fizwidgit uses his magic to mentally scar the the goblin with a horrible song. The Goblin stops laughing and swings wildly at bork, slashing just shy of his chest. Tripp, still angry runs to the doorway and shoots the mentally tormented goblin in the throat, it spins as it falls spraying it blood all around as it chokes and sputters. The party move on and find another wrapped package which Bork smashes revealing five throwing darts that Bork gives to Wachuwan. The party finally finds a room full of fairy circles with a mace in the center. Bork wastes no time grabbing the mace.

### **Season 002 Episode 006 Fool's Told (Session 13)**

Christoph is sucked back into the cube as Bork enters a fairy circle. Bork then enters a trance like state before turning towards the party and informing them they are all cheese as he takes his prize, a great mace. Tripp chalks it up Bork being strange as usual, Wachuwan reasons out they are not cheese to himself while Fizwidgit blames Borks lack of intelligence. The next room is plain except a small indentation in the ground and a note on one of the walls that reads "Haha". Tripp investigates the door finding nothing and enters the room. Bork looks at the hole in the room saying that it looks big enough for him to fit in. Wachuwan looks down a hallway at a chest which he doesn't trust, he throws a rock in the hall to see if any traps are set off which it doesn't. Bork talks about his mace and looks at a wall for a bit. Tripp becomes concerned and tries to discern if Bork is sick. Wachuwan and Snowfando slowly approach the chest, poking it open with his stick, finding a pouch of twenty gold coins. Bork rubs his head on the wall as the rest of the group meet up with Tripp and him in the hole room. Once everyone is in the room the doors lock shut. Wachuwan looks up and sees the ceiling is slowly coming down. The group look for ways to stop the roof from crushing them as Fizwidgit and Snowfando get in the hole. Wachuwan just writes "Ha Ha" on the wall next to the first Ha Ha with his drawing staff. Bork starts smashing the door as Wachuwan continues writing a note to the fairies begging to not die. Bork, Wachuwan and Tripp are unable to pry the door open as the ceiling gets to two feet from making mashed adventures causing Bork to become enraged and pound at the door with whatever he can muster. The ceiling stops at one foot from the floor and then goes back up. A third "HaHa" appears on the wall as the doors unlock causing Wachuwan to write "Ha Ha" next to the third as well as a warning to others that the ceiling is not deadly. The next room is full of four skeletons that the group decide to vent their frustrations on. Wachuwan leaps into action with his long stick aganist crossbow skeleton. Tripp puts his back to a corner and shoots an arrow at the freshly whacked crossbowman which pins the skeleton's spinning skull to the far wall. Tripp retrieves the little crossbow from the skeleton and tosses it to Fizwidgit. Fizwidgit screams and runs infront of the axe skeleton and the crawl skeleton, burning them with his burning hands which the axe skeleton blocks but the crawling skeleton does not and is turned into a funeral pyre. Bork, still fuming from the door uses his new mace to disarm the skeleton's shield hand literally, sending it across the floor. The skeleton swings back at Bork, causing a small cut on his arm. The axe skeleton swings at Fizwidgit who back-steps it. Wachuwan swings at the axe skeleton but Tripp runs up his staff and plunges a Holy dagger into the axe Skeleton, Killing it instantly, Tripp then throws an off-hand dagger into the sword skeleton. Bork finishes off the sword skeleton. The group loot the skeletons finding a small hide shield that Wachuwan straps to Snowfando's back. The next room is full of coloured waters with a locked door that reads "three pressure plates need to pushed to open this door" and the pressure plates are in each puddle. Fizwidgit jumps into the black puddle and then screams in pain while falling back out of the puddle. Tripp detects that Fizwidigt has been terribly poisoned. Bork gets in the green puddle who comes out fine, on his way over to check on Fizwidgit he falls in the pink puddle. Tripp gets some water in his eye and Bork puts his hand on Tripp's shoulder, offering to lick his eyes clean. Bork nuzzles Tripp who starts to panic but Bork is too enamored to release him so Tripp escapes, causing Bork to chase him around the room. Wachuwan steps in the yellow puddle as he rushes over to help Tripp who falls into the yellow puddle causing them to become cowards. Wachuwan goes to hide as Tripp gets cornered. Tripp hides in the blue puddle to hide which causes him to become sad and jump sobbing into the last puddle, the red one Which makes him extremely angry on top of everything else. Tripp is overwhelmed with emotions and punches Bork in the chest doing nothing. Tripp climbs up Bork to escape Snowfando and then tries to punch Fizwidgit, bloodying his nose. Wachuwan tries to stop Tripp who can't hurt Wachuwan and finally Tripp comes back to his senses. Snowfando goes into the Green puddle and dyes his lower half green for a little bit as he advanced through the mine. Bork thinks he sees something and chases it down a separate tunnel to a pile of feces. Bork takes out his shovel and starts shoveling through it looking for treasure. Finding nothing, Bork goes back to the puddle room and washes his shovel off in the green puddle, soiling it. The party spilt up and investigate two separate doors. Fizwidgit and Snowfando find theirs locked while Tripp hears snoring on the other side of his. Tripp sneaks into the room and sees a sleeping Dire bear, which was wearing a hat. Bork follows but is not good at sneaking and it makes the bear stir in it's sleep. Tripp tells Bork there is a bear dressed up as "Quiet Hitler" . Fizwidgit rides Snowfando into the room and Bork informs him there is a guy in the room. One by One the group sneak past the bear. In the hallway the group find a hole in the wall full of silver coins. Tripp withdraws the coins with his magehand and gets nine. Bork rewards Snowfando for his good behaviour with a handful of gravel. The group rest before continuing deeper in the mine. Fizwidgit finds some more chisels that he takes with him. The group find another pile of crates and one locked chest that looks untouched. Tripp picks it open and they find three potions, two of remove fear and one of greater healing. Tripp uses mend on the rusty tools which Tripp adds to his toolkit. Wachuwan takes some pyrite he finds in cave. The party move on to a large locked door that Wachuwan lifts open. on the other side of the door the group run into Dark Dwarves who haven't noticed them yet but the group fail to sneak past them and have to fight. Tripp and Fizwidgit take potshots at the group. Bork hurls a javelin as one axeman dwarf gets close to the party. Wachuwan hits him with his staff. Hammer Dwarf tries to hurt Bork but fails to hurt him. Snowfando eagerly attacks for the first time with his axe but only knicks the dwarf axeman. Tripp then finishes axeman off and then attacks the hammer dwarf with his knives. The Pickaxe dwarf attacks Tripp. Fizwidgit uses his bard spell to mentally torture the hammer dwarf. The crossbow dwarf hits Tripp as he is beset on all sides by dwarf. Wachuwan goes into action and kills the pickaxe dwarf before Tripp cuts down the hammer Dwarf. Fizwidgt taunts the Crossbow Dwarf. The remaining hammer dwarf attacks Bork who hammers back much harder. Wachuwan runs up on the Crossbow dwarf and finishes him off. The final hammer dwarf is then tag teamed by Bork and Tripp, ending the fight. Wachuwan finds a lesser health potion, Fizwidigt gets a gold and more crossbow bolts, Tripp finds a picture of a black-dwarf's wife and some leather bracers that Wachuwan gives him. Fizwidgit gets a hunk of pyrite which he gives to Snowfando for his crown. The party find an Elevator and go up.

### Notes

Some of the information here may be non-canonical because it was based on jokes which may or may not be excepted. Sometimes information is ret-conned in later sessions because of the players remembering certain important information incorrectly or simply new canon fits the narrative better.

## Trivia

* In the first episode there was a mimic the gang didn't find
* The first appearance of the Conspicuous Rock is at the end of the first episode.- Conspicuous Rock then appears in episodes S1E2-E3- E4-E6, only absent in episode 5 of the first season which was supposed to be a two parter, it is unknown if this was intended. The rock is harder to find but still present in every episode after S2E3, sometimes only flashing on screen very quickly and sometimes not visible to the viewer at all.
* Session 006 is the first appearance of Menen as an player. Originally Fizwidgit was going to be played by a rotating cast but Menen did such a good job he got the position permanently and the rotating cast idea was late reused with The Cube.
* Session 007 is the first episode where Metronome has a new microphone.
* Peter's Cart is pulled by two black horses however Peter does not own two black horses in or anywhere near his Stable
* In Session 10 there are screams from inside a burning building, however the group immediately forget these calls for help and instead choose to save holy relics and a table. This is not a continuity error however as if one looks at the inside of the building in Session 11 a dwarf is visible in a chair near a large ball of fire.
* Curiously the building that is on fire in Session 11 is made almost completely of stone, only he chairs and tables, most of which have stone in them as well could burn. It is possible the since this is an office that there is a large amount of burnable texts but a more likely conclusion is that the fire was fed.
* The puddles in Session 13 are Red- Anger. Blue- Sadness. Pink - Lust. Black- Poison. Yellow- Cowardice and Green- Happiness which is was converted into sewage water.