Appendix: Lament of a Fallen Angel

Whilst searching for Qonhar within the Marble Citadel, the party came across two pools of silver liquid which they assumed was angelic blood. Upon touching the magical substance they were exposed to Qonhar's memories, key moments of her existence which dealt with her life before and after her unmaking, and her desire for atonement.

*Guardian, that is your purpose, you are a guardian. You are heaven’s greatest guardian, you’ve always known this. This is the one truth of your existence, the one truth that governs your life. Since the day that the Everlight gave life to you, you have existed for one singular purpose to protect those who cannot protect themselves.*

*This is the truth that guides your every strike as you charge towards the golden figure before you. Aluvias, your mentor, the blade of Heaven, your oldest friend. Clad in the same armour he was forged in, his silver body covered in plates of gold. You charge forwards, but as always he deftly flies away. He can’t dodge forever, a ball of radiant flame forms at the tip of your blade as you launch yourself forwards, he’s moving to block, you've won this battle. But then you realize your peril, as you see the flash of light to your side. A feint, of course, how could you let this happen? You are suddenly blinded and knocked down into the marble courtyard below. He stands above you, holding out a hand.*

*“You have done well, Laelah, I am proud.”*

*Happiness, elation at his words.*

*“Thank you, Aluvias, I will forever continue to do my best.”*

*“I expect nothing less of you, dark times are coming, and we must be prepared.”*

*A flash of light, and you find yourself now standing within a marble hallway, glistening with gold. The murmurs, the whispers, and then She enters skin of bronze, radiant eyes of gold and trail of golden hair, alight with holy fire. A deva steps forward in Her path, newly forged, still ignorant of his place. Aluvias moves to stand between him and the Everlight, but She calmly holds out a hand. The deva speaks up, the fear clear in his voice.*

*“My lady, please, tell us, is it true, has Ahriman done it. Are the creators dead?”*

*Silence. Hesitation perhaps?*

*“Yes”*

*And then your world collapses around you, as the war begins.*

*Another flash of light, you stand before Aluvias and his lover Aurelia, one of Nuhra’s creations, golden skin and silver hair. A sculptor, not a warrior, not born of the holy light and yet Aluvias loves her all the same. And that you find is enough for you.*

*“How much time will you spend in Axiom, how long till I see you again?”*

*“I do not know Laelah, the aeons are ever cautious and take their time before making any decisions. I doubt it will take longer than a hundred cycles, perhaps two at most.”*

*A pause, and then the words you were expecting.*

*“Until my return, you will lead the Everlight’s legions."*

*And then a strangeness in his tone.*

*"I want you to know that I have the utmost faith in your abilities.”*

*Conjecture. Not fact. That was not spoken with the holy tongue, that was her tongue, the azata’s tongue.*

*A flash, an incursion, a creature from beyond the Maelstrom, feeding on the minds of those clinging to the cycle. Ahriman was right, he knew this would happen. It spreads its corruption among them. Another flash, you lead a legion of devas that cut through the darkness. Purging the corruption, before finally slaughtering the creature.*

*And then the deva asks the question, the question you dreaded. “Guardian, what shall we do about them?”*

*You look towards the creatures, and for a moment can’t help but feel repulsed by their imperfections. The ovoid heads, the purplish skin, the yellow eyes and the mass of tentacles that hang from their mouths. They’re cowering, afraid of you, afraid of what your orders will be. You think to yourself, Ahriman speaks true , corruption must be purged. They threatened the stability of our new order, they should be purged, they have chosen to cling to the cycle. They have allowed this corruption to persist and in so doing have endangered countless worlds.*

*No.*

*You must protect them.*

*No.*

*They are corrupt, you must purge them.*

*No.*

*Yes.*

*No.*

*Yes.*

*And then you give the command. “Kill them all.”*

*Another flash, “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?”*

*The disappointment in his voice hurts, it’s painful. “Valastia is gone, she has left us. We must…we must atone.” Aluvias turns, leaving you behind. You hold out a hand, "No...", you try to speak the holy tongue, you desperately want to, to show him the truth of how you feel, but you can't. Taking with him Aurelia and the last of the faithful, the last of the planetars. Leaving you alone with the rest of the faithless. With the rest of the Unmade. Heaven's greatest failure. You have failed.*

*You have failed.*

*He goes now to atone within the Abyss without you.*

*Commander, that is your title, your are their commander. You are an archdevil. You are hell's greatest warrior, heaven's greatest failure. This is the one truth of your existence, the one truth that governs your life. Since the day that Asmodeus found you, you have existed for one singular purpose to destroy the enemies of order.*

*This is the truth that guides your every strike as you charge forward towards the bovine demon that stands before you, its blackened wings unfurled, its blade made from the elements, its whip burning with a flame that burns the very soul. An aspect of Baphomet, an aspect of your enemy. You plunge your clawed hand where the creature's heart would be, reach for it and burn it to cinders. Your daughters, your valkyries, your erinyes scream out in adulation, in adoration of you.*

*But you feel no joy, you feel emptiness, you feel anger, you feel sorrow, you feel regret; as the demon lord's avatar yells out in pain, you pull out its heart. Even now you can still feel the burning pain beneath your arm, the burning pain beneath your skin, the pain-filled existence that you have been forced to live. No. The pain-filled existence that you have chosen to live. The pain-filled existence that will allow you to earn your atonement. You drop the heart and the creature's form begins to crumble as it falls to your feet, black blood staining the battlefield beneath you.*

*A flash. You feel a surge of pain in your back, you turn around just in time to see the three-headed flail pulling back, and holding it now you see a massive creature; head like a hyena, arched back, massive claws, and muscular hands. Seeing the pain it has inflicted it lets out a disgusting laugh, to which you answer with a roar. You charge downwards bringing down your full might, as your daughters cover you from above. You bring down your hammer, crushing its skull. Blasting through you rip off its arms and all scream out in adulation. And yet you feel no joy, you feel no pride.*

*One step closer.*

*One step closer to your atonement.*

*One step closer.*

*And then you hear it . Another flash. You hear it again. Another flash. You hear it again, the sound of wingbeats, and your daughters scream out in horror. You look up and flying above, wings outspread, those beautiful wings of white feathers now turned into cruel and leathery batlike wings, dripping flame and black blood from their tips. You fly upwards. Another flash. You refuse to believe it, you refuse to believe it. That figure, that figure you loved, that figure you believed in; clad in armour of gold now rent, torn asunder, ripped apart; the figure beneath now tarnished beyond recognition. Demonic symbols adorn his armour's surface, and you can see horns and spikes jutting out from beneath broken pieces of armour.*

*"The Lifemother has demanded your death, I am sorry Laelah..."*

*He charges downwards, and you charge forwards in response. But you can't shake the feeling of sorrow, the feeling of disappointment, you strike at him but there is no force behind the strike. And as he did so many years ago, so many centuries ago, so many millennia ago, he parries your blow easily. You continue your onslaught, he responds in kind blocking each and every one of your strikes. You surge backwards and then charge forwards, a bead of light forming at the edge of the warhammer you wield. He's too focused on killing you, too focused on a frontal assault, he'll never expect this. This will work. And as had happened so many years ago, you are blinded by a flash of light. A feint. You fell for it again, then pain, a pain so deep, so visceral you can't resist the urge to scream. He raises you upwards with the edge of his vicious blade, and then plunges you down into the wasteland below. Into the bowels of Infernus.*

*Is this it? Is this your release? Is this your atonement? You did this to him, you did this to all of them, you were a guardian. Guardian. That was your purpose, you were a guardian. You were heaven's worst guardian, its greatest failure. You've always known this, it was and still is the one truth of your existence. The one truth that governs your life. Since the day that the Everlight gave life to you, you have existed for one singular purpose to protect those who cannot protect themselves. And you have failed. That is the final thought that lingers in your mind as you are engulfed by the darkness.*