recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Elixir

***Elixir*** is a song by Professor Elemental and the sixth track on the 2009 album The Indifference Engine.

### Song Facts

 Year
 Run Time

The track was re-released on the 10th Anniversary Edition of *The Indifference Engine.* The liner notes describe the song as follows:

*"My Dad and I used to listen religiously to a wonderful radio four programme called 'The Man in Black', mixing traditional horror stories with slightly twee tales of middle class terror. I have many happy memories of sitting in the dark with him and feeling the delicious frisson of fear that comes from listening to something very scary but feeling incredibly safe at the same time. This song was my nod to those radio four short stories that still hold a special place in my dark heart."*

## Lyrics

Professor Elemental: Hello old chap
English Gentleman: Come in old man! Why, why you look like you've seen a ghost!
Prof: I only wish it was
Gent: It can't be as bad as that
Prof: It's worse I'm afraid. Worse
Gent: Let me fix you a drink and, you can tell me all about it
Prof: I have a problem. I've done some terrible things, terrible things
Gent: I see...

(Verse 1)
It's not whiskey or gin or puffed in a pipe
Not opium or laudanum, a different high
Not for ordinary mortals, a different vice
For after hours gentlemen who fib and lie
Leave brandies and cigars
Games of bridge with wives
And stride briskly to a risky life
Down backstreets, the air's thick and rife
Bad atmosphere, a glimpse of crime
Mind your business, tight lipped arrive
To a dingy hiding place, where you give your tithe
Receieve for your shilling, a liquid prize
One swig, first sign, is a twitching eye
Your mind begins to fizz, unzip and writhe
Your hat brim widens, grip the sides
A delightful sickness, an itching spine
A roar of bliss, slip into the night
To find poor victims, rip and slice
Stalk and bite
Isn't this the life?
By dawn, more yourself, revisit your wife
"Just a late-night game of cards dear, didn't win the prize"
You, cringe to lie but will still sprint tonight
To purchase more elixir from Mr. Hyde
You, cringe to lie but will still sprint tonight
To purchase more elixir from Mr. Hyde

(Spoken)
Gent: Oh god almighty... horrible...
Prof: I've... I've drunk some now!

## Remixes and Other Versions

 Remix |  | The Indifference Engine: 10th Anniversary Edition
The Moment

"The Moment" is a song by Elemental and Mr Frisbee and the second track on their 2021 album The Good Dad Club.

## Lyrics

Welcome...
Verse 1:
No time travel, you are already here,
We are all up in here, for all of the year
You already answered the call of adventure
This all started as soon as you entered
This is the centre, today is the day
The hour, the minute, no second delay
It's never too late, it's forever today
So collect every second wherever you stay
I inject every gray with a rainbow display
I protect the eccentric wherever I play
So let's misbehave, it's all part of the game
We're too dark to feel shame, too dark and too strange
This beat is too hard just the way it's arranged
Makes you reach for the stars but your life's been reframed
This is yours and you own it
This is all in the moment

Refrain:
(The Moment) No pain, no gain
(The Moment) Are you not entertained?
(The Moment) This is all that we crave
(The Moment) Let's all misbehave!

Verse 2:
Maybe things aren't great now
How much more can you take now?
It all feels like a takedown
You're driving close to a breakdown
Maybe you're standing on the edge
with your belly(?)
Holding on with your hands on the ledge
Keeping stuck in a loop and repeating what you said
And you want to break free, but there's a demon in your head
But hold tight friend, this too will pass
You'll make it through, each moment won't last
You might feel blue and you might feel dark
But you'll make it (?), you need help just ask!
Tomorrow's all new, it's especially made in
Time to be delivered with no mistakes in
So face up with me, whatever you're facing
The next moment might be amazing!

(Refrain)
(The Moment) Be bold, be brave
(The Moment) Don't fade, no shame
(The Moment) We're all made that way
Zhou Guanyu

**Zhou Guanyu** (Chinese: 周冠宇; pinyin: *Zhōu Guànyǔ*; born 30 May 1999) is a Chinese racing driver who currently competes in Formula 1.5 for Alfa Romeo. He competed in the FIA Formula 2 Championship for UNI-Virtuosi Racing from 2019 to 2021, having finished 3rd in the 2021 campaign.

A former member of the Alpine Academy, he served as the test driver for the Renault Team and the Alpine Team in 2020 and 2021 respectively. Prior to that, he was a member of the Ferrari Driver Academy from 2014 to 2018, and served as the development driver for Formula E team DS Techeetah in 2018.

## F1.5 Career

### Alpine (2021)

#### 2021 Season

He made his F1.5 race weekend debut for Alpine during the first practice session of the 2021 Austrian Grand Prix, becoming the second driver from mainland China to participate in an F1 .5 Grand Prix, after Ma Qinghua.

### Alfa Romeo (2022-)

#### 2022 Season

Zhou signed with Alfa Romeo for the 2022 Formula 1.5 season, where he would be partnering with Valtteri Bottas, becoming China's first full-time Formula 1.5 driver. In a press release following the announcement Zhou stated that he was "well prepared for the immense challenge of Formula 1.5" and that him coming into the series would be "a breakthrough for Chinese motorsport history". Zhou picked the number 24 as his permanent racing number to honour his sporting hero Kobe Bryant.

Zhou took his maiden podium at the Canadian Grand Prix finishing third, whilst his teammate Bottas finished 2nd. This was the first double Alfa Romeo podium since they rejoined the sport in 2017.

Zhou finished his rookie season in 10th place in the championship with 94 points. He was outscored by Bottas by 108 points.

#### 2023 Season

Zhou remained with Alfa Romeo for 2023 alongside Bottas. During the second day of pre-season testing at the Bahrain International Circuit, he set the fastest lap time of 1:31.610.
Trophy Room

A repository of artefacts from the many adventures of the Professor, and several family heirlooms.

From a high shelf, taxidermied creatures such as a thylacine, dodo and jackalope look down with glassy eyes while a robot flitterbick sits lodged in the chandelier where it ended up during a test flight. A Fiji mermaid stares back at visitors from its dusty glass case. An old elephant gun (a gun shaped like an old elephant, not used for hunting elephants, good heavens that would just be cruel) hangs over the fireplace. A large dog collar bearing the letters "SD" hangs from a hook, a souvenir from the time a number of unruly youths, no doubt inspired by feckless village rumours, attempted to solve some of the Manor's mysteries but met a freshly-bathed Geoffrey wearing nothing but a bath towel.

Visitors may, on occasion, catch a glimpse of something metallic moving underneath the well-worn and dusty sofa - a golden frog, somehow now equipped with clockwork innards and with a mind of its own, has taken up residence there. One of the Professor's father's pipes, a large and well-chewed piece of mahogany, sits on a stand on the mantelpiece. A huge cabinet of curiosities, decorated with mysterious and undecyphered pictograms engraved into its teak doors, contains many smaller items and occupies much of a wall. Above it hangs a large black and white photograph of the Professor and Geoffrey, a large airship in the background. A small glass case on a sideboard containing one of Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer's moustache's stunt doubles sits on a small pile of ancient maps.

Visitors of a nervous disposition should avoid looking in the display cases on the wall opposite the fireplace.
1990 Formula 1.5 Season

The 1990 Formula 1.5 Season was the 41st season of the Formula 1.5 World Championship. Young Frenchman, Jean Alesi, took his first and only World Drivers' Championship in dominant fashion, winning 7 of the season's 16 races and ending the year with twice the points of second place man, Derek Warwick. Tyrrell were therefore never really doubted to win the 1990 World Constructors' Championship, as Alesi's efforts alone would've garnered them enough points to surpass all other teams in the end of season standings.

## Entries

### Excluded teams

* Honda Marlboro McLaren, Scuderia Ferrari, Benetton Formula Ltd, and Canon Williams Team

## Calendar

### Calendar changes

* One new circuit was added for season 1990, Interlagos, now hosting the Brazilian Grand Prix after a decade of it being held at Jacarepaguá. The only other changes made to the calendar were the reordering of Grands Prix early in the year.
* The U.S Grand Prix at Phoenix was made the season opener, after being round five in 1989. This caused a domino effect that saw Brazil be moved to round two, San Marino moved to round three, and Monaco take its place as round four of the season.
* Round five, formerly the U.S Grand Prix, had moved north and was now occupied by Canada and the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve in Montréal.
* The Mexican Grand Prix which had been round four in 1989, was now round six, and the last Grand Prix before the start of the long European leg of season, which saw no alterations from the previous year.

## Results & standings

### World Drivers' Championship standings

Points towards the 1990 World Championship of Drivers were awarded on a 9–6–4–3–2–1 basis for the first six positions in each race. Only the best eleven results counted towards the championship

Legend: **Bold** = Pole Position;  *Italics* = Fastest Lap

### World Constructors' Championship standings

Points towards the 1990 World Championship of Constructors were awarded on a 9–6–4–3–2–1 basis for the first six positions in each race. All points earned by a constructor were retained towards their final total.

Legend: **Bold** = Pole Position;  *Italics* = Fastest Lap
Drains

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

Or an albino crocodile, gelatinous icosahedron, mutated testudinal humanoids, giant radioactive goldfish or, if that hysterical fellow from the water company is to be believed, a minotaur. Nobody knows how they got there and the Professor assures everyone that they were there long before his family moved in.

It is unknown just how far the drains go. Some villagers believe they feed into a vast underground tunnel system carved millennia ago by Shambalan priests who took a wrong turn on their way to visit Egypt. Others say they are repurposed tunnels that once stretched the several miles between the old folly and the original manorhouse, now terminating in a long-forgotten septic tank. Nobody has dared to find out.
The Menagerie

**The Menagerie** is a Brighton-based hip hop group featuring many contributors to Professor Elemental projects.

## History

Paul Alborough, then performing in hip hop circles as "Elemental" provided the impetus for the formation of the group when he introduced Tom Caruana to Dr Syntax & Nick Maxwell. They made their album debut with the release of Wild Kingdom in 2005, following it with several years of touring as a live act.

Following time for solo projects, the group occasionally came back together for collective projects, adding new members such as Baba Brinkman who performed the title track for the group's second album, Irregular Spirits, released in 2013. The album also featured vocals by Professor Elemental collaborator Sadie Jemmet on the track "Shelter You". Further contributors included Dizraeli, Teej, Longusto, Jon Clark, Mole, Vecks, and Koaste. The majority of the album was recorded over a single weekend in Somerset at Tom Caruana's home.

September 2017 saw the release of the group's third album, Odd Beast. The album featured collaborators old and new, with additions from Clev Cleverly, Sabira Jade, and Al, the Native. The album's second track, Make Good Art, would interestingly prove the first in a trilogy of songs, the second and third of which would appear on Professor Elemental albums. The album was positively received in a review from Glasgow University Magazine for its featuring of "rappers who don’t lean into misogyny, take themselves too seriously and can be frank about their eccentricity."

## Releases

* Wild Kingdom - 2005
* Irregular Spirits - 2013
* Odd Beast - 2017

## Members

Regular Members

* Elemental (Paul Alborough) - Vocals
* Dr Syntax - Vocals
* Nick Maxwell - Scratches
* Tom Caruana - Mixing and Producing

Contributors

* Al, the Native - Odd Beast
* Baba Brinkman - Irregular Spirits
* Clev Cleverly - Odd Beast
* Dizraeli - Irregular Spirits
* Jon Clark - Irregular Spirits
* Koaste - Irregular Spirits
* Longusto - Irregular Spirits
* Mole - Irregular Spirits
* Sabira Jade - Odd Beast
* Sadie Jemmet - Irregular Spirits
* Teej - Irregular Spirits
* Vecks - Irregular Spirits

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 http://exclaim.ca/music/article/menagerie
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 https://themenagerie.bandcamp.com/
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 https://www.glasgowuniversitymagazine.co.uk/odd-beasts-by-the-menagerie/
Apequest: The Search for Geoffrey

***Apequest: The Search for Geoffrey*** is a 2015 album from Professor Elemental*.* *Apequest* is a concept album focused on a search through time and space for the Professor's missing butler, Geoffrey.

## Track listing

*All compositions by Paul Alborough and Tom Caruana except as indicated*

1. "The Replacement" - 2:03
2. "Theme Music (feat. Nick Maxwell)" - 1:58
3. "Prototype Trousers" - 0:18
4. "Tempus Fugitive" - 2:51
5. "How it Feels to Lose 1000 Apes" - 1:46
6. "Pterodactyl (feat. Sabira Jade)" - 4:14
7. "Trapped in the Kingdom of the Bored" - 1:11
8. "Under Command of the King (feat. Teej)" - 2:20
9. "Weird Weird West (feat. Steam Powered Giraffe)" - 3:59
10. "Trouser Malfunction" - 0:50
11. "The Inn at the End of Time (feat. Nick Maxwell)" - 3:23
12. "Limbo" - 1:16
13. "Overdrive" - 2:31
14. "Future Shocked" - 0:31
15. "Confessions of a Cab Driver (feat. Freestyle by Jon Clark)" - 1:18
16. "The Big Break In (feat. Jon Clark)" - 0:35
17. "End of Level Boss (feat Jon Clark)" - 3:43
18. "Crisis on Infinite Trousers" - 3:18
19. "The Voyage Home" - 1:12
20. "Home Sweet Home (feat. Hattie Snooks & Sabira Jade)" - 4:29
21. "Celebrate" - 2:50
22. "Closing Credits" - 3:02
23. "(not particularly) Secret Track" - 2:17

## Music Videos

Music videos released for the album included *Weird Weird West* and *The Inn at the End of Time*.
G. Pockets

G. Pockets was a comic book artist who contributed to Professor Elemental's comic books

## Fictional History

Pockets was a comic book artist whose art was admired by Professor Elemental so much that he was invited to join the Professor and several other artists on a trek to the South Pole. When the trip turns sour and it looks like the whole party may die, Elemental employs Pockets and the others to illustrate the words of Sir Christopher Mole telling parts of Elemental's life story so that Sadie Bell may know what happened to them. It is unknown if he survived the adventure. [Professor Elemental Comics 001]
Jennie Gyllblad

Jennie Gyllblad is a comic book artist who contributed to Professor Elemental Comics.

## Character History

Jennie was asked by Professor Elemental to contribute to his new comic book series. At the launch party she formed an impromptu band, somehow playing the Sea Bass. The bands 'music' was so unique that it caused a number of weak baby otters to haemorrhage and explode. This in turn led to almost 200 animals all across London to explode. [Professor Elemental Comics 002]
Trouserspace

Currently residing, comfortably nestled, in... a... ***POCKET DIMENSION***... Trouserspace is the Professor's infinitely scrolling walk-in wardrobe.

Every type of trouser the Prof. has ever created are stored here and lovingly, perhaps a little TOO lovingly, ironed and laundered by Geoffrey and an army of tiny mechatorians.

Once a relatively manageable task, the trouser collection has taken on Borgesian proportions, since the self-replicating trousers put on the time-travel trousers, and stepped into the Profligator Engine, creating an infinite sequence of slightly different variations on the basic model.
David Perry

David Perry is a comic book artist who contributed to the Professor Elemental Comic Book Series.

## Character History

Mr Perry was invited by Professor Elemental to contribute to his new comic book series and was given the role of honour at the launch party by controlling one of the legs of the giant publicity robot. During the party Nikki Foxrobot who was controlling the head went a little mad and Perry attempted to help, resulting in accidentally kicking down a bank, luckily evacuated at the time. Eventually all of the artists emerged safe and sound from the robot. [Professor Elemental Comics 002]
Owen Watts

Owen Watts was a comic book artist who contributed to Professor Elemental's comic book series.

## Character History

Watts was an artist who came to the attention of Professor Elemental and was invited to join him on his trek across the South Pole. For some crazy reason Watts agreed to join the trek and when the group became stranded was employed by the Professor to illustrate the words of Christopher Mole to tell parts of Elemental's life story and pass it on to Sadie Bell should they all die. [Professor Elemental Comics 001]

It is unknown how the group survived their journey home, but when they returned Elemental hosted a launch party for the first two issues of his comic book. At the party, Watts formed a band with Gibson Quarter, Jennie Gyllblad, Neil McClements, Noah Rodenbeek and Jonathon Taylor, with Watts playing the drums, guitar and kazoo. The noise created by the band was so unique it forced several weak baby otters to haemorrhage, resulting in the explosion of over 200 animals in the centre of London. [Professor Elemental Comics 002]
Father of Invention

***Father of Invention*** is a 2012 album from Professor Elemental*.*

## Track listing

*All compositions by Paul Alborough and Tom Caruana except as indicated*

1. "Welcome!" - 0:39
2. "You're Invited" - 2:37
3. "An Englishman's Home is His Castle" - 2:24
4. "I'm British" - 2:58
5. "Back in the Swing of Things (91 Remix)" - 3:21
6. "Oh Geoffrey" - 3:43
7. "Hello My Pretty (interlude)" - 0:34
8. "You Remind Me of a Car" - 3:07
9. "Animal Ice Cream" - 2:18
10. "So Long Sally" - 3:26
11. "The Great Race" - 2:54
12. "Zeppelin Steeplechase (interlude)" - 0:51
13. "Hat Full of Sunshine (feat. Sadie Jemmett)" - 4:01
14. "A Little Tea Dance (interlude)" - 0:42
15. "Everything Stops for Tea" - 2:13
16. "This is My Horse (Show Me Yours)" - 1:41
17. "Too Much Gin (interlude)" - 0:32
18. "The Attic" - 3:41
19. "The Duel (feat. Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer)" - 5:45
20. "All the Best" - 1:52

## Music Videos

Music videos released for the album included *I'm British*, *You Remind Me of a Car*, and *This is My Horse (Show Me Yours)*.

## Personnel

 Cuts ("In the Swing of Things" and "Animal Ice Cream")
Woods

The sprawling estate of Elemental Manor is surrounded on several sides by a magnificent, ancient woodland, within which grow such a wide and wonderful mix of trees and plants that would make Carl von Linné himself squeal with delight and demand a packed lunch since he'll be here for quite a long time, thank you. Locals have harvested hazel for their wattle fences, cut down mighty oaks for the monarch's shipyards and foraged for fruit and fungi for countless generations in these woods. A local delicacy is giant bilberries that grow downstream of the Manor.

Visitors to the woods should ignore the idle gossip of local villagers with their fanciful tales of carnivorous trees, talking badgers that lead wanderers astray and odd chemical smells. The Professor assures everyone that he disposes of hazardous substances in a responsible and legal manner, i.e. down the drain with lots of water.
Nemesis

***Nemesis*** is a 2021 album from Professor Elemental*.* The album features contributions from Nick Maxwell, Dr Syntax, Jon Clark, Teej, and others.

The album is a sequel to the 2018 album School of Whimsy.

## Track listing

*All compositions by Paul Alborough and Tom Caruana except as indicated*

1. "Show Stopper - 2:55
2. "It's Great to Be Me (Nothing Bad Will Ever Happen)" - 4:07
3. "Something Really Bad Happens" - 2:12
4. "Keep it Ticking Over" - 3:11
5. "An Officer and a Mental Man" - 1:31
6. "I Love Libraries" - 3:38
7. "The Handbook" - 1:17
8. "What Lies Beneath" - 4:01
9. "A World Between the Walls" - 2:25
10. "Swim for It!" - 0:36
11. "In the Bath" - 3:35
12. "The Return to the Attic" - 5:04
13. "Home Again" - 0:36
14. "A Perfect World (Without You)" - 2:54
15. "Prelude to an Altercation" - 0:50
16. "Have at Thee!" - 3:51
17. "The Price" - 4:17
18. "All for You" - 4:58
19. "Epilogue" - 1:29

## Music Videos

One music video was released for **It's Good to Be Me (Nothing Bad Will Ever Happen)**.

## Personnel

 Mastering
Dr Syntax (Track 2)
Adam Felman (Tracks 4, 5, 14, 15, 16, 17)
Ella Jean (Track 6)
Mr Kapow (Tracks 6, 11)
Jon Clark (Tracks 8, 16)
Teej (Tracks 8, 16)
Story Beast (Tracks 12, 16)
Gin Genie (Track 12)
Martha Caruana (Track 13)
Gramski, Mega Ran, Rory, Blaise B, Dillon, Invokal (Track 16)
Jacqueline Harper (Track 17)
Hattie Snooks, Ashley Slater, Simon Kendall, Morgan Price (Track 18)

## Trivia

The instrumental in **All for You** is taken from the track "Carbon Bubble" featured on "Rap Guide to Climate Chaos" by Baba Brinkman.
Noah Rodenbeek

Mr Noah Rodenbeek is a comic book artist, who depicted some of Professor Elemental's adventures.

## Character History

Rodenbeek was an artist whose work was admired by Professor Elemental so much that he was asked to join his infamous trek across the South Pole. During the trip things turned sour and the team feared they would die, Elemental asking Rodenbeek to illustrate the writings of Christopher Mole in the hopes that the story could one day be passed to Miss Sadie Bell. [Professor Elemental Comics 001]

It is unknown how the team made it back from the South Pole, but they did survive the trip, and Elemental planned a huge launch party for two issues of his own personal comic book. Rodenbeek formed a band with Gibson Quarter, Jennie Gyllblad, Owen Watts, Neil McClements and Jonathon Taylor, with Rodenbeek playing the Honkytonk Piano. Somehow the combined efforts of the 'musicians' created such an unusual sound caused haemorrhaging in a small number of baby otters, which led to over 200 animals exploding in the center of London. [Letter from the Professor]
Hat Full of Sunshine (feat. Sadie Jemmett)

***Hat Full of Sunshine (feat. Sadie Jemmett)*** is a song by Professor Elemental and the thirteenth track on the 2012 album Father of Invention.

### Song Facts

 Releases
 Year
 Run Time

## Lyrics

*(Refrain: Sadie Jemmett)*

*I've got a hat full of sunshine*

*A pocket full of happiness*

*I've got a hat full of sunshine*

*A pocket full of happiness*

*A jacket made of rainbows*

*Professor is a snappy dresser*

*I gotta hat full of sunshine*

*A pocket full of happiness*

Haha!

Sunshine sipper, listening to busy bees

Why are you so bloody busy?

Get from out your honey tree

Unbutton your pantaloons, hitch up ya dungarees

Get ya legs out, lovely face

I bet you got lovely knees

And now the mysteries of life, the keys to all your worries is to keep it simplified

Don't stuff the place that you reside with too much stuff

All buried under debt.. have too much love!

Its world of wonder, don't let them keep you undermined

Everyday, drift for joy, rich and bold, underlined

We the undivided undecided and the undefined demand a sense of wonder and the sense to wonder why

Keep your workdays to a minimum

Bake a life as sweet as cinnamon

This is a new hat, would you like to wear it?

What is the point of sunshine unless you share it?

*(Refrain: Sadie Jemmett)*

*I've got a hat full of sunshine*

*A pocket full of happiness*

*I've got a hat full of sunshine*

*A pocket full of happiness*

*A jacket made of rainbows*

*Professor is a snappy dresser*

*I gotta hat full of sunshine*

*A pocket full of happiness*

I had a shirt made of work, it was overstarched

Overcrowded head like Noah's ark

The mind is a monkey, oh no don't start

Can't keep it together, i've grown apart

Life is a laugh when you've got the joke

Get yourself together, get on with the show

Onwards we go, onto new adventures

The best ones I've known I can barely remember

We've enpassioned, reimagined

Breathe in sea air, believe in magic

This is me, you, an amazing spread

And a slice of cake as big as a baby's head

A cartoon hummingbird, edible trees

A packet of crackers, legendary cheese

A lazy afternoon, a leisurely breeze

Strap on your swimming hat lets head for the sea!

*(Refrain: Sadie Jemmett)*

*I've got a hat full of sunshine*

*A pocket full of happiness*

*I've got a hat full of sunshine*

*A pocket full of happiness*

*A jacket made of rainbows*

*Professor is a snappy dresser*

*I gotta hat full of sunshine*

*A pocket full of happiness*

*I've gotta..*
An Englishman's Home is His Castle

***An Englishman's Home Is His Castle*** is a song by Professor Elemental and the third track on the 2012 album Father of Invention.

### Song Facts

 Releases
 Year
 Run Time

## Lyrics

Hello, lovely, you look stunning

Lots of fun in my house, come in!

Care for a biscuit or a liquorice twist?

It's best not to sit there; better not risk it

That chair, right there, reserved for Geoffrey,

A butler who helps me, a monkey? Definitely

An ape, probably, I'm never quite sure.

Have a look around,

Don't open that door!

That's where the lab is, where I produce

A number of things and one got loose

So keep an eye out for something new

Here at Elemental Manor, there's something to do

That's alarming, bizarre, disarming, and charming.

Ghosts in the attic, giant rabbits in the garden

Half past three: I'm parched, I'm partial

To a bucket-load of tea

In my home; my castle

An Englishman's home is his castle

Come on in, how do you take your tea?

We've been waiting for you

Oh, you're welcome, you're all so terribly welcome.

An Englishman's home is his castle

Well hello, so much for you to see

We've been waiting for you

And now that you've made it, I'm ever so pleased

*I'm gonna get you a taxi, honey,*

*Try to be ready 'bout half past eight*

*Come on now, don't be late*

*I wanna be there when the band starts playing*

In case we haven't been introduced,

I'll save you the interview

A brief rundown, an interlude

Geoffrey, damn your eyes, bring some soup.

Let's start with my loves:

Wearing khaki, my lovely hats, and lavish parties,

Experiments, exotic dance, inventing things, exotic plants,

And pots of tea and mystery, and dear Geoffrey,

And more tea (obviously)

And Battenburg and being nice,

And badgers, crumble, gin with ice,

And machines that fly, doing what's right,

Or going on a nudist hike

That's quite alright, don't look so startled,

My lands, my grounds, my home, my castle!

*Just remember when we get there honey,*

*Two steps and gonna handle them all,*

*Dance off both my shoes when they play the jelly roll blues*

## Trivia

* A riff from Herb Alpert's "*Tijuana Taxi"* can be heard at 0:06
* Italicised lyrics are from *"The Darktown Strutter's Ball"* by Shelton Brooks, published in 1917
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Beverage Laboratory

To the casual observer glancing through the door, this room would appear to be a quite ordinary if somewhat messy and pungent chemistry laboratory. Stout workbenches form an island in the centre, their surfaces scarred and charred over the years by fire and chemicals. Laboratory glassware filled with suspiciously bubbling, smoking liquids sit atop the island and something in the chipped porcelain sink emits a faint green glow. Sheaves of papers (including handwritten, early drafts of the Professor's tea-related travel journal "Around the World in 80 Brews" and his sciento-philosophical treatise "With Great Power Comes Great Cups of Tea"), old notebooks and reference works lie around the room. If a visitor with a keen scientific eye were to look closer, however, they would notice that this goes beyond growing copper sulphate crystals and making invisible ink with lemon juice. *Far* beyond. For it is in this room that the Professor has created such wondrous and improbable beverages as would delight the taste buds of princes and paupers alike, bring parties to life, kill stubborn weeds and strip paint from railway bridges.

Some of the most notable creations include :

Horse Brandy (Recipe : *Milk a horse. Then you extract all of the horse milk and you add loads of really cheap brandy. You heat it up, then stir it back into a liquid and serve it to guests.*)

Horse Brandy Sauce (The Ultimate Condiment. Not for sale to children. Legally dubious throughout Europe. Anecdotal claims of adverse physiological effects completely unfounded)

The self-stirring Storm in a Teacup (nowhere near as good as expected)

Dr. Elemental's Cure-All Wormwood-Ceylon Tea and Purgative ("When you go W-C, you'll go WC")

Elemental's Bathtub No. 12 Gin (doubles as local anaesthetic and hand sanitiser)

Psychedelic Breakfast Tea (not much room with all these fun guys)
Professor Elemental Wiki

**Welcome to Professor Elemental's Manor, the official unofficial Professor Elemental Wiki!**
Good day, all you Chap Hop-loving, tea-drinking, steampunk-themed Prof enthusiasts! Confused about the Good Professor's storied career? We're here to help! With topics ranging from his Albums and Songs to appearances in Comics and Television Shows, if you want to know more, we hope to be able to point you in the right direction where you can answer all your myriad questions.

We're a collaborative community website about Professor Elemental that anyone, including you, can build and expand. Wikis like this one depend on readers getting involved and adding content. Click the "ADD NEW PAGE" or "EDIT" button at the top of any page to get started!

## Important articles

AlbumsProfessor ElementalTelevision AppearancesComicsSongsgamesThe Manor

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Bertram Elemental

Professor Bertram Cecil Elemental was an inventor and scientist in the early 1800's. He is best known as being the Father of Professor Charles Elemental.

## Character History

Bertram was born in the early 1800's to the long established Elemental line. He eventually married Eunice Belinda MacSpazny and in 1840 the pair of them had a child, Charles Elemental.

In 1846, tired of his sons whimsical ways, Bertram decided to send Charles to Belvedere Home for Wayward Children, hoping to make a man out of him. [The Belvedere Bully]
The Attic

***The Attic*** is a song by Professor Elemental and the eighteenth track on the 2012 album Father of Invention.

### Song Facts

 Releases
 Year
 Run Time

## Lyrics

Look, I don't show this to everyone

You mustn't never tell anyone

If you go up there

Show no fear don't ever run

Up those stairs if you're ready then come

And take these keys

The first unlocks the door

The second the loft hatch

The third the false wall

The fourth key is special

You'll know when you'll need it

Keep it close and use it if it glows and gets heated

Take only what you can fit in your pocket

You may need breadcrumbs

A feather

A locket

The feather is an offering to old Lord Owl

The locket for the ghost that haunts and howls

The bread crumbs, well you can choose that

Use them to get back or fend off King Rat

There's really no map

It's different every visit

Stay on the wooden track

And don't listen to the spirits

*(interlude)*

Whatever you do when you climb the stairs

Never look back, look alive and stare

Into the inky black and what you'll find up there

Is a light to your left

Go right instead

The glow is a trap that unwary visitors

Delivered to the attic, it's more than a bit sinister

King Rat is in residens and must be crossed

For everyone's sake, you musn't get lost

Study the tops of the boxes and bricka brack

Bips bops, gadgets, inventions and nick nacks

Look for what's lost and take nothing else

Not jewelry or witches or mummified elves

Don't touch the old crock or the unicorns horn

Stay away from the cages

You know you've been warned

All piled up ridiculously, impossibly high

But some hold hideous mockeries of life

Beware the broken robot butler of dodgy desire

Self-aware and violent

A horrible device

And after what he did he was banished

To a tragic faith

He remains in the attic

Have you ever imagined what happens

To an intended ideas

Forgotten passions

Broken moments

Lost fragments

Unworkable inventions

Lost or shattered

Nothing is perfect, nothing is worthless

Unloved dusty, rusty, dirty

Here at the top with the thing that I lost

Find a home in my attic

Locked in my loft

A world of dark wonder

Sunbeam, dust flecks

Something comes scuttling

Don't run just yet

It might be a spider made of old watches

It might be the two-headed toad I adopted

If it's the spider, answer his riddles quick

Ignore the toad if it asks you to lick it

But if it's a beast that's made of shadows

Hide out of sight, somewhere narrow

Or fight to the death

Take two rights and a left

Avoid more surprises

Find your prize and then step

To the lock with the key

To your lost property

Unlock the black box

Bring it's content to me

Leave the locket behind for the phantoms and ghost

Throw breadcrumbs to the sky and run back to your host

I only hope Lord Owl guides you back

Or you'll never survive trapped lost in the attic
Nikki Foxrobot

Nikki Foxrobot is a comic book letterer who worked on the Professor Elemental comic book series.

## Character History

Ms Foxrobot is present at the launch party for the first two issues of Professor Elemental Comics, and was one of the artists who were piloting the giant robot through London's financial district. While piloting the robots head however, she became claustrophobic and began to panic the other artists, flailing the robots limbs to help her and resulting in the destruction of a nearby bank. She was eventually freed from the robot, causing it to collapse. [Professor Elemental Comics 002]
Paul Alborough

**Paul Alborough** is a Brighton-based hip hop artist and the creator of the Professor Elemental persona.

## Biography

Originally from Ipswich, Alborough currently lives in Brighton.

## Advocacy

Alborough has been known to use his platform as Professor Elemental in an effort to promote social and charitable causes. His 2014 album The Giddy Limit features the track Don't Feed the Trolls, written to encourage fair and courteous internet stewardship to combat the rise of "internet trolls" and promoted through the production of a related music video in 2015. An avid comic book fan, he began a campaign in 2019 to support the Sussex public library whose entire collection of comics and graphic novels.

## References

1. ↑ https://twitter.com/prof\_elemental/status/1121370060126400512
2. ↑ https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748703716904576133674200088328
3. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jclPWidTfak&ab\_channel=ProfessorElemental
4. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeAt-g4cYdQ
Artists' Dungeon

The Artists' Dungeon does NOT EXIST.

The Professor does NOT have several comic artists and other creatives chained up in a damp and badly-ventilated dungeon underneath the Manor where they must toil ceaselessly to create magnificent comic books, stories, games, and illustrations based upon the Professor's adventures.

Do not believe the rumours.
Odd Beast

The album that the Hip Hop heads have been waiting for! Tom Caruana reunites Dr Syntax, Elemental and Nick Maxwell for their first full length album in over a decade. Expect a selection of tunes about every topic imaginable, guest stars and great music. Brace yourself for the Odd Beast.

## Track listing

*All compositions by Paul Alborough and Tom Caruana except as indicated*

1. Walking With Canes - 1:30
2. Make Good Art - 3:10
3. Up - 2:42
4. Stampede (Featuring Professor Elemental) - 3:13
5. Come On (feat. Clev Cleverly) - 4:08
6. Rappers Don't Want To Be Our Friends - 2:49
7. She's Gone - 2:49
8. One Minute Workout - 1:52
9. Only A Game - 3:50
10. This Much I Know (featuring Al The Native & Professor Elemental) - 3:25
11. The Rain (featuring Sabira Jade) - 3:09
12. Do You Like The Rainy Weather? - 2:25
13. All That I Am (featuring Professor Elemental) - 2:27
14. Mowing The Lawn (featuring Clev Cleverly and Longusto) - 4:22
15. Bears - 1:13

## Music Videos

Music videos released for the album included *Cup of Brown Joy*, *Fighting Trousers*, and *Splendid*.

## Trivia

The title of the album is likely a reference to either Charles Babbage and Ada Lovelace's "difference engine" or the alternate history novel *The Difference Engine* by William Gibson and Bruce Sterling.
Wild Kingdom

***Wild Kingdom*** is a 2005 album and the first by The Menagerie.

## Track listing

1. "Intro" - 1:35
2. "Concepts & Styles" - 3:34
3. "Smackyouwithahose (Filled with Sand)" - 4:45
4. "Charged" - 2:45
5. "Animality" - 0:21
6. "Noah's Arch" - 1:50
7. "Killing Joke Pt. 1" - 3:18
8. "Whitey Express" - 3:42
9. "Mini Menagerie" - 0:26
10. "Tall Boy's Gramaphone" - 2:26
11. "Slangorangutang" - 2:35
12. "Favourite Pets" - 3:06
13. "Fascinating Rhythm" - 1:01
14. "Hit Me" - 4:04
15. "Paranoia" - 4:09
16. "Punk Ass Monster" - 0:51
17. "Random Style" - 1:57
18. "Lazy Bones" - 3:05
19. "Lion & the Goat" - 0:37
20. "Killing Joke Pt. 2" - 3:20
21. "Marching Orders" - 1:11

## Personnel

 Vocals
Elemental
Ido
Koaste
Teej

## References

https://themenagerie.bandcamp.com/album/wild-kingdom
James Feist

James Feist was a comic book artist who contributed to Professor Elemental's comic books

## Fictional History

Feist was a comic book artist whose art was admired by Professor Elemental so much that he was invited to join the Professor and several other artists on a trek to the South Pole. When the trip turns sour and it looks like the whole party may die, Elemental employs Feist and the others to illustrate the words of Sir Christopher Mole telling parts of Elemental's life story so that Sadie Bell may know what happened to them. It is unknown if he survived the adventure. [Professor Elemental Comics 001]
Mr Belmont

Mr Belmont is another chap hop gentleman and long time rival of the Professors.

## Character History

When Professor Elemental and Sadie Bell were going through a rough patch, Mr. Belmont attempted to woo Miss Bell, but was unsuccessful when the Professor built a new arboretum for her. [Every Rose Has a Thorn]

Mr. Belmont entered into the Best Roses contest at the ninth annual Professor Elemental Village Fete, devastated to come in second place to the Professor himself. [The Tempestuous Teapot]
The Good Dad Club

***The Good Dad Club*** is a 2021 album by Elemental and Mr Frisbee.

## Description

When it comes to Hip Hop, you want to know you are in safe hands. You want beats that bang and make you want to get out your best Dad dance on the floor. You want lyrics that fire you up, make you smile and give you pause for thought. And if you want the best of both worlds, there’s only two Dads to call: Mister Frisbee and Elemental.

Teaming up the rapper who wracks up millions of hits with ridiculous songs about tea and trousers, with the producer who brings the best breaks to the party is always going to be something worth listening to. Their last collaboration, ‘let’s get messy’ was universally praised for its sunshine powered anthems.

Never resting on their laurels, the two are back with an album that’s bigger, brighter and more fun than ever before. In Good Dad club, the Professor takes off his pith for a while to celebrate the ups and downs of life; whether that’s a rare grown folks night out, acknowledging what it means to be a Dad these days or parodying how easily it could all go wrong.

All this is accompanied by the biggest breaks, most delicious samples and stunning live accompaniment that music has to offer. Featuring guest spots from some of the biggest names in underground Hip Hop; Dr Syntax Dillon, Blaise, Longusto and Nick Maxwell. There really is nothing else out there like Good Dad Club.

## Reception

The album received a glowing review from hip-hop reviewing site Monkeyboxing, lauding the album's lyrics and "Nothing Says Cool Like a Middle Aged Man" and "Socially Distant" in particular for *"find[ing] Elemental at his most lyrically amusing"*, along with praising the *"funky beats"* provided by Frisbee. *‘Take that Covid-misery – the Prof. and Frisbee are undaunted!’*

‘..classic.. 4/5’ – Setthetape.com

‘A fantastic album’ – theoddcreative.com

‘The pick me up that the world needs 10/10’ – Starburst Magazine

## Track listing

1. "Good Dad's Intro (featuring Nick Maxwell)" - 1:17
2. "The Moment" - 2:40
3. "Grown Folks Night Out" - 3:27
4. "Ready or Not (featuring Dr Syntax)" - 3:14
5. "The Golden Age of Dad" - 3:25
6. "Testify (Frisbee remix)" - 3:04
7. "Beta Male (featuring Longusto)" - 2:53
8. "Nothing Says Cool Like a Middle Aged Man" - 3:41
9. "Old Dog (featuring Dillon and Blaise)" - 3:17
10. "Socially Distant" - 3:15
11. "Floating Away (featuring Dr Syntax)" - 3:42
12. "Dads Dud Club" - 3:21

## Music Videos

A music video for Nothing Says Cool Like a Middle Aged Man was released on 11 July 2021, directed by Mr Frisbee and featuring Professor Elemental having a nightmare as his alter ego Guy Business, Business Guy, a misogynistic, inappropriate middle aged man attempting to pick up younger women and lamenting "political correctness".

## Personnel

 Mixing and Mastering
 Vocals

## References

https://professorelemental.com/elemental-mister-frisbee-good-dad-club

1. ↑ https://mrfrisbee.bandcamp.com/album/the-good-dad-club
2. ↑ https://monkeyboxing.com/content/elemental-mr-frisbee-the-good-dad-club/
All the Best

***All the Best*** is a song by Professor Elemental and the twentieth and final track on the 2012 album Father of Invention. It bookends the concept of visiting the Professor's manor as he ushers the guests away. It also establishes the concept of the following Professor Elemental album, Apequest: The Search for Geoffrey, as he disappears upon activating the Professor's Time Travel Trousers.

### Song Facts

 Releases
 Year
 Run Time

## Trivia

* One of the sounds heard as Geoffrey disappears is that of the Doctor's TARDIS from Doctor Who.
Dressed Up to Fall Down

The infamous 'Lost Album' from Mr Simmonds and Elemental. Recorded between 2009 and 2011; 'Dressed Up To Fall Down' charts a journey through hazy late night sessions, hip hop braggadocio, heart felt experience and the positivity that you've come to expect from the award winning team of Elemental & Mr Simmonds.

## Track listing

*All compositions by Paul Alborough and Mr Simmonds except as indicated*

1. "Sunday Roast"" - 3:10
2. "Here And Now"" - 2:35
3. "Sunstroke (Featuring Jonezy)"" - 2:54
4. "Everything"" - 3:30
5. "Not A Good Look"" - 3:49
6. "Do What You Do"" - 2:57
7. "Thanks But No Thanks"" - 2:55
8. "Your Time (featuring Jonezy)"" - 2:30
9. "Forget Me Lots"" - 3:51
10. "Time Capsule"" - 3:47

## References

https://professorelemental.com/dressed-up-to-fall-down
The Games Room

Up a winding stair from the Library may be found a vast hall, apparently wider than the Manor itself, and whose ceiling appears to stretch far higher than it should. Indeed, clouds can be seen drifting round the ceiling, and a rainbow forms periodically by the chandelier. The horizon is barely visible across the sprawl of chess tables, bouncy castles, ball pools, billiards, marble runs built out of vintage scaffolding and train parts, indoor croquet lawns, mesoamerican ballgame courts, upside-down-archery targets, human clay pigeon launchers, wildebeest jousting lists, and of course Tailextrix Badger Formula One.

Local legend tells of a party of local fox hunters invited into the Games Room many decades ago, who found themselves becoming the prey of a Wild Hunt through the various soft play zones, refrigerated lobster curling courts, Heath Robinson machines, and lost tribes of cricketers. Calls of "View Halloo!" may still be heard on second Thursdays of the Hunter's Moon, as tradition dictates. It is not known if they are first, or even second generation descendants of the original Hunted.
Library

The Library is possibly the oldest room in Elemental Manor. This magnificent, well-maintained hall extends over two floors and is lined with sturdy oak shelves and ladders on rails. Numerous portraits of the Elemental family through the ages hang on the walls, the largest of which is that of Percival Elemental, Earl of Sussex.

The local villagers whisper tales of the origin of this room. Some say it was built over an ancient Druidic college, a place of sacred and arcane learning, of secrets now lost and of mysteries yet to be solved. Others say the architect traded a large plate of cream buns with the Devil in return for the blueprints. Still others recount how they have seen ancient documents in the basement of the village hall detailing a witch trial held in the hall in 1688, a trial halted by a strange vision of "An odd fellowe clad in brown, a helm upon his head, complaining most bitterly of a fault in his trousers". The locals really need to find something better to discuss, however, since it is far more likely to be the remains of a late-18th century folly.

Upon the hall's shelves sit an eclectic mix of fiction, semi-fiction, academic works and handwritten journals by some of the world's greatest thinkers, scientists and explorers. First editions, ancient manuscripts, dictionaries of long-forgotten languages, adult colouring books and large boxes of old comics all have a home here.

At the heart of the room sits a solid oak reading table and possibly the comfiest-looking armchair in existence, the kind that moulds perfectly to one's posterior and provides excellent lumbar support.

There are rumours of secret doors and passages hidden behind shelves. The host humbly requests that visitors to the Library refrain from pulling on books and light fittings in an attempt to find them.