Alex Therapy

## Story

> Jen
>
>

*As soon as he steps through the provided portal, Alex is greeted by the prickly sensation of chilled air against his skin, fining himself in a winter wonderland of sorts. sparse birch trees with spindly branches are dotted around him, and not far from his place of entry is a man with poofy hair and an assortment of art supplies, currently painting what appears to be a replica of the mountain in the distance. A hand made looking log cabin is nestled into the snow behind him, thin whisps of smoke snaking up into the sky from it's clay chimney.*
*Besides this man's own art supplies are a separate set, clean and ready for use.*

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Alexander makes his way over to the man with the open set, he gives a slight wave, and softly, he speaks, unsure if his therapist knows sign language and not wanting to start this session off with too much of a communication barrier.
**{Hey, I'm Alex... uh, I'm deaf, that's not going to be too much of an issue... is it?}**

> Jen
>
>

*A soft tilt of his poofy head, and Rob Boss places his paintbrush down, freeing a hand to sign-*
**{"It's not a problem at all, but we do need our hands. Pick an animal, any animal."}**

> Alexander Varias
>
>

**{ I can hear over a phone call, if that helps. }** He says, looking down at everything with a soft look. It had been a while since he'd drawn or painted anything, but it was a calming activity. He goes over to his own easel.
**{ Any animal? }** The image of a bird comes to mind. **{ I think I've got one. }**

> Jen
>
>

**{"Don't worry about phone calls, I've got a little idea. Any animal is fine"}** *He confirms with a nod and a soft smile, picking up his brush once more in anticipation of the answer.*

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Alexander looks over the blank easel, thinking about home. Picking up his own brush in his hand, the handle settling comfortably in a familiar position, he uses his free hand to sign. **{ Is a Pheonix okay? }**
Something personal. Symbology he'd been surrounded by for years at this point before coming to the Archive.

> Jen
>
>

*With a few quick strokes, Rob paints a small but vibrant Phoenix into the branches of a tree within his painting. Surprisingly, a living version of this same bird begins materializing in a nearby tree.*

*It stretches it's wings and majestically long tail, before gliding down to sit atop Alexander's shoulder.*

"Testing, one two, one two- can you hear me buddy?"

*And Alex can, in fact, hear him. Crystal clear.*

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Alex blinks, thinking he was picking something for *himself* to paint, but as the bird comes down, and settles on his shoulder, and he quickly realizes he can hear, the Elf smiles, his ears quickly lifting from their neutral position.

He wasn't expecting that.

He wasn't complaining either.

"Yeah, I can hear you perfectly." It's been a while, since he'd been able to hear *anything* perfectly. Let alone speak clearly at the same time.

> Jen
>
>

"Great! Sadly this little fellow won't last forever, but for now? He can be your buddy. You alright with that?"
*By now he's cleaned his brush, and begun slowly painting in a ski-lift for the distant mountains.*

> Alexander Varias
>
>

"I'm perfectly okay with that." He says, happy to be able to hear for a moment, and looking at his own blank canvas.
"So what now?"

> Jen
>
>

"Now? Well, now you just pick up a brush, and see where the paint takes you. You could pick something specific to paint, or simply put some shapes down and see where it goes. No rush, no right or wrong, just the fun of paint on canvas in good company. How's that sound?"
*The ski lift begins to materialize into existence, running functionally the instant it's fully made.*

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Okay, he could absolutely do that. That was easy.

"Honestly, that... sounds really nice." No expectations, no real goal he needed to focus on just, paint on a canvas. He picks up his paintbrush and starts putting paint on the canvas, having dipped the brush in some dark colored paint.

"It's nice to be able to just... not have a goal sometimes."

> Jen
>
>

"Yeah, I feel that. Too many expectations can really start to weigh you down, y'know?"

*A couple of beats pass before he speaks again, simple peaceful silence.*

"That what's got you feeling overwhelmed? Or is it more of a combo kind of deal? It's fine if you don't wanna talk about all of it, so just go for whatever's comfortable"

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Slowly, Alex begins painting the basic shapes of a landscape, a river flowing into a large hill. He'll be adding more, of course, but right now it's just about blocking in the shapes...
"I don't... I think I'm kind of here to talk about it, you know just..." He tries to gather his thoughts, staring at the canvas, trying to think, "It's a lot of things I haven't really... processed over the past several months... years... I lost my home, all my friends, I come here and almost immediately fuck up... any chance I had to befriend the people here, right when things started to settle, my brother kicks shit up and then I go deaf, and before I can even... adjust to being unable to hear, someone I care about falls under the control of the Eldritch? I don't... even know where to *begin* working through any of it."

> Jen
>
>

*Off to the side, a set of mountains begins to manifest, matching the blocked out shapes on Alex's canvas. The beginnings of something great.*
"Well... How about the start? We've got time."

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Alex continues, a circular wall, small buildings, the rough shape of 8 tall towers that rise above everything, all perched on the large hill he was drawing, the river flowing under neath the beginnings of a city.
"...I almost lost my brother? We... were looking into some magic spikes... it was a trap and... he got taken, got thrown into a pit of something called Tar. It nearly killed him, started the end of the world and I just... kind of froze."

> Jen
>
>

*Slowly but surely, the image in Alex's mind begins to come to life, a recreation of Acrea's capitol slowly beginning to bustle in the distance.*
"First time you ever dealt with something like that, huh?" *Rob asks, tone still passive, lacking scorn or judgement.*

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Alex can't help but smile a little bit at the sight of his home beginning to form. Alive, untainted, whole. He starts on the finer details of his painting, starting with the forests that surround the city.
His smile falters a little, but he nods. "Yeah I... I'd faced death before, I'd faced more powerful enemies, I'd worked to overcome them, to better myself but... It was like looking into the face of a man you know intends to kill you, and every fiber of your being says you could fight every day for the rest of your life and you wouldn't be able to best them. I think the only reason we even... made it out was because he lost interest in us."

> Jen
>
>

*Rob remains quiet until he's sure Alex has said all he wishes to for the time being, painting away and adding smaller details, snowhares and bushels, people to ride his ski lift and slope down the mountains.*
"But you're still blaming yourself for freezing, aren't you?"

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Small details in the wall, texture, cracks, the shape of the bastions and battlements and merlons. Fired clay shingles to protect the roofs of parapet walks. He loses himself in the finer details for a while, thinking about the question.

He knew he was. Of course he was. Saying it out loud meant he was open for people telling him why he shouldn't though, and he felt... defensive about it.

"I should have... done \_something.\_ Anything. He would have died had Bailey not been there..."

> Jen
>
>

"Hey, you can't help the way you feel. But sometimes, instead of looking for a way to drop all that weight at once, it's kinder on your shoulders to lose a little at a time. Just one chip off that big old burdon boulder at a time, when you feel ready for it."

*The vague sounds of civilisation begin springing into existence, wafting smells of Acrean street food just barely making their way through the surrounding forest and greeting Alex's senses.*

"This Bailey person though, they helped you out?"

> Alexander Varias
>
>

A part of him wanted to stop painting and go walk through the streets he'd created, but... there was still so much left to paint on and color in.
“Bailey... our daughter, she was a Tarbeast when we found her. She pulled my brother from the Tar pit and managed to get him out... relatively unscathed." Attention would turn to one of the towers, his own, painting in the fine details of the Tower of the Pheonix.

> Jen
>
>

*The more detail Alex puts into his painted piece, the more lifelike this manifested area seems to be- Such a stark contrast to the winter landscape painted by his new friend, and yet so alive.*
"I see, so a chance encounter then... This tar sounds like some real nasty stuff. Where's our story go to from there?"

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Both beautiful landscapes in their own right. Alex wasn't complaining about seeing either. Every stroke was a new breath of life. He moved onto the next tower, the Tower of the Roc, adding those details, the bright yellows of the flag and tower.
"Well.. A portal opens, more Tar comes through, and the three of us luckily managed to escape...? Then the war starts not long after and just... doesn't stop until we lose. Most of my country is gone." He looks at the painting. "This is gone."

> Jen
>
>

"Is it? Looks to me like the part of it that lives inside of you is still going strong. I'm sorry you've lost your home though, that's never easy...Guessing that's how you ended up here?"
*If you squint just right, and stare longingly, the Harpy Queen herself can be seen staring up at the sky from one of her large, ornate windows, elbows resting against it as the sun shines upon silken blonde hair.*

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Blonde waves reflect sunlight like firelight and would illuminate her face. Even from this distance he knew her for who she was.

He would recognize her anywhere.

There's a long moment of silence as he stares out over his home, his paintbrush falling stagnant and still where he holds it. He doesn't even realize he's crying until he feels the first teardrop land against his skin, and he looks down at his hand, quickly bringing his empty hand to his face, wiping away his tears. He didn't even know what Rob had said, he'd completely spaced out.

"I-I'm sorry, uhm... could you repeat that?"

> Jen
>
>

*Rather than repeat what he'd just said, Rob allows Alex a moment, before asking-*
"She someone close?"

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Alex laughs once at the question, but it's... dry. Not mocking just... The understatement. "Yeah... uh... Yeah we were. She was, uhm..." He looks at the other 6 blank towers. Would he see them too? If he painted them? He took a deep breath and worked on the Leviathan. He could see his brother. That would be fine. "My girlfriend. We were together for... 5? Six years? Felt like longer... we knew eachother for longer. I lost her a couple months ago."

> Jen
>
>

*A soft sigh leaves the other man, trees and mountainside details beginning to adorn both his canvas and the manifested representation of it's contents.*
"I'm really sorry, Alex. That's awful. Did you lose someone for each of those towers? Is that why they're so special to you?"

> Alexander Varias
>
>

"Aside from my brother I think I lost everyone in those towers." He knew exactly who he had lost. Two of them were just hazy variables, uncertainties. It was easier to just accept the idea that they'd passed than try to consider the possibility that they weren't. To hope for it then grieve them all over again.
"And... yeah, they were. We were technically just... a team, people who had to work together but really it felt more like family. Mikkel and Aurora were married, Grace... Grace was their daughter, they'd adopted her when her mother passed. Svend was my best friend. Johanna and Razmus were outliers, in some ways, but I still cared about them. Jo struggled with being around people and did her own thing, Razmus too, but they were all still my friends..."

> Jen
>
>

"Do you reckon that might be why it's so hard for you to even think about losing anyone else?"
*It's asked softly, sympathetically. He doesn't intend to dig at Alex's pain, simply to help him shed light on things he may not have openly put together or admitted before.*

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Alex avoided continuing work on the towers, leaving only his own, his brothers, and Grace's completed at this point beginning to add details to the town below instead. He wasn't quite ready to see anyone else.

"...Maybe." It was probably more likely than not a major contributing factor. "I... I feel like I failed them." That word feels bigger than just the council when he says it. He knows who else he feels he failed, the journal sitting on his desk just barely scratches the surface. That journal \_only\_ held the names of those who'd sworn themselves to him and his closest.

So many names...

> Jen
>
>

"How come?"
*High up in the tower of the Leviathan, Nicolai can be spied rearranging one of various bookshelves, adding new volumes to previous gaps and ensuring everything is in order.*

> Alexander Varias
>
>

More detail in the town, the walls, anything but the towers. The scene with Nicolai feels pulled from his own memories.
"I swore I'd protect my people. Even after all the effort we put into it... everything was destroyed, and I don't know how much of it I'll be able to fix, if.. any of it." He admits, slowly bringing his brush down. "They were counting on me. Counting on us to fix everything. And we lost."

> Jen
>
>

"You're just one person though, ain't that a little unfair?"

*Strange fluffy creatures that hop along an their hind legs begin to appear out of thin air, racing up the slope Rob has painted them into and taking great delight in riding the ski-lift up to the slope's peak.*

"Think of yourself like a glass- Or a mug, if you prefer. Any kinda empty vessel. When people count on you, it's like another little bit a water gets poured in, and bit by bit you're gonna fill up. It ain't your fault that you can only hold so much, all we can really do is our best. It's ok to tip some of that burden out to the folks supporting you, help even it all out. But you gotta remember, one cup can't hold the ocean- What happened? It's not your fault bud, it's the fault of whoever actually caused it to begin with. It ain't the cup's fault someone refuses to turn off the tap."

> Alexander Varias
>
>

The more he paints the more he realizes all he has left is the council to paint, the more he realizes to finish his project he needs to confront their memory. He takes a deep breath, grabs his paint brush, and begins to paint the details on the tower for the High mage of the Soul. Mikkel. The Dwarven Necromancer. A black four pointed star is painted on each of the banners that hang from the building.
"What happened?" He asks, a little quieter as he focuses, staring at his painting. "There was a war. We weren't prepared for the scope of it, how... how could you be? Really? Something called Tar... It consumes life, absorbs it, even down to the soul, uses soul and life as fuel for itself. A portal opened it and it just...." He pauses. "If Acrea's the cup, then someone put the cup under a waterfall. We kept trying to fight, kept trying to push back, but every time we tried we just... lost more people. The Tar got stronger. The whole of the country was covered in it in *two years.*"

> Jen
>
>

"That's awful... Nobody deserves something like that. You're still fighting though- clear as day and as the air you breathe, your heart ain't just beatin' for you now. You didn't fail them Alex, you'd have to give up for that."
*Satisfied with his own work, he takes a seat on the decking of the nearby Cabin, watching over the furred creatures and their skiing, as well as Alex's bustling mirage of home.*

> Alexander Varias
>
>

He continues working on the other council member's towers. Slowly, taking his time with them, making sure he's not pushing himself too far.
"I just... I want to go back. I want to get strong enough to be able to finally... fix this, begin to restore my home to what it was. Or... at least try to."

> Jen
>
>

"Then I'd say, they picked the right person to hedge their hopes on. I reckon if you keep your head high and your people close, you'll be able ta' make a bigger difference than you think."

*A pause, interrupted by a soft hum as he takes in the details of each new tower.*

"Guessing everything hasn't been all walks in the park since you arrived here, either. The Archive does have a way of putting people through the ringer, but if you really wanna know what I think? Sometimes you gotta break yourself down so you can put yourself together in a healthier way- Like blocking out the shapes on your canvas. At the end of the day, working through the rough stuff here is gonna help prepare you for the fight back home, help make you a better leader for the people waitin' on you, and for the people already following"

> Alexander Varias
>
>

He smiles a little bit at that. "I certainly hope so."

The final details of the painting are slowly painted in. The towers of Mind, and Body, Chimera, Golem, all filled in, and Alex watches as they come to life.

"I suppose that makes sense. I lost all of my magic when coming here. The... painting so to speak that made up my experience and skill was wiped away and I was given a bigger canvas to paint on. I've... got access to magic I never would have been able to touch back home. I suppose it makes sense that I'm still blocking in my colors..."

> Jen
>
>

*With a grin of his own, Rob re-approaches Alex, offering a sympathetic pat to the shoulder as he looks over the almost tangibly real city before them.*

"Yeah, exactly like that. You got the multiverse's resources at your fingertips, and the hopes of your people in your heart. I don't see much stopping you, even if you've gotta get up and dust yourself a few more times along the way."

*Removing his hand, he uses his index fingers and thumbs to form a frame of sorts, before expanding them to reveal some kind of hard-light screen. In a magical manner that Alex has never seen before, Rob proceeds to draw on said surface with a stylus, encapsulating the city and surrounding forest in a snow-globe the size of a basketball.*

"Thought you might like a little piece of home to take with you, help remind you what lights the fire under your tail, y'know?"

> Alexander Varias
>
>

Delicately, Alexander takes the snowglobe from Rob, holding it in his hands and gently rubbing his thumb over the smooth glass. He can't help the bittersweet smile that comes to his face as he stares at it.
"Thank you."

> Jen
>
>

"You're welcome, honestly. Thanks for lettin' me hear part of your story, and if you ever need me again? Just ask. I'm always here, ready for a good chat" *He says, a relaxed smile on his face as several fluffy children throw snowballs at each other while darting around his legs. He seems entirely unfazed by this.*

> Alexander Varias
>
>

"Thank you for listening. I'll keep it in mind, thank you, again."

He gives Rob Boss a gentle smile, then turns to take his leave, the snowglobe carried carefully in his hands.