Episode 15: (KII 01) - Hello Mallory

The episode for "Episode 15: KII 001: Hello Mallory" was originally released on June 6, 2016. **You can listen to it here.** This episode is 49:54 long.This week's ghostwriter: none.

*Previous:* Episode 14: Good Bye Stacey, Good-Bye | *Next:* Episode 16: Little Miss Stoneybrook...and Dawn | *Or,* see all episodes.

## Official Episode Description

Welcome to Kids Incorporated Inc.! Out with the old, and in with the new! Stacey is gone, but not forgotten and forgotten, and there's a NEW baby-sitter in town now, which you probably could have figured out from the title of today's episode. Think you're pretty smart, don't you? Well, smart guy, did you know that there's actually TWO new babysitters? You did? Oh, okay.

## Book Description

Jack: "Power, money, lies, greed, hubris, and overweening pride have taken their toll on the Babysitters Club we used to know. Where once we found innocence, now we find worldliness. Where once we found hope, now we find malice. What once promised glory now is rotted through with vain glory. In book 14 of the Babysitters Club, be prepared to say goodbye to everything you once held dear and hello, to Mallory. Hello Mallory."

Tanner brings up an extended metaphor in his 60 seconds and runs out of time.

## Segments

###  Burn Of The Week

Tanner: the burns were all awful. “My burn of the week is on the title of CAO.”

Jack: Kristy calls Kids Incorporated. Mallory asks Kristy if she needs a baby-sitter.

###  Deep Voice Boys

Goliath Industries has some interest in Kids Incorporated.

Mark Markson got fired and is over at Synertech now with Rich Richardson. (Work/life balance and quality of life is key there.) Rich thinks the energy of KI is dynamic and bold.

Jack (Mark Markson) and Tanner (Rich Richardson) are in a Synertech board meeting, and roleplay about the acquisition of Kids Incorporated.

###  Tearful Moment

Tanner’s is the moment when the babysitters rally behind Jessi against the possibility of racism from their parents of their charges.

## Theories

###  Amber Theory

The town is stuck in 1960 forever, explaining the town’s surprisingly racist attitudes. Time has slowed to a crawl.

###  Bee Theory

Jamie Newton makes a “beeline” for the swingset.

###  Doll Theory

* Maybe it’s not about racism, but surprise that the Ramsays aren’t sentient dolls.
* Mallory talks about how Margo bosses around her dolls. She is the Puppetmaster.
* Ann M. Martin’s series about the Doll People

 ###  Witchcraft

* ”She dropped her voice so low” on the phone with Logan.
* Karen Brewer vs Margo Pike -  white vs black magic.
* Desk with “E.L.” in the corner: means god or deity,  “Elliott Logan”. Jack is worried by the sinister lack of appearances from Logan in recent books.

## Jack's References

* Acquisition bait: a B2C company Kids Incorporated
* Mount Sinai
* The test is Kafka-esque.
* Uber
* Lyft
* Jack gives all Uber and Lyft drivers five stars because he wants them to like him.
* Pixar is Disney

Tanner: I don’t know, but I’m certain you’re about to hit me with some Latin.
Jack: No. Why would you think that?
Tanner: Because you’re pretentious.
Jack: I’m not pretentious. This is why - You don’t give me the fucking benefit of the doubt. It’s not Latin. It IS old Aramaic, which you should know.

## Tanner's References

Tanner's drawing of the digestion system.

* ”Stacey is off in space fighting those spiders.” (A possible reference to Children of Time, last referenced in  Episode 12: Claudia and the New Girl
* Tanner draws a very good diagram of the digestive system off the top of his head (source).
* Princess Cutieface distracts Tanner.

## Notes

* Kids Incorporated Inc - Kid Army
* Tanner describes KI as dumb; Jack thinks it is a smart business model.
* Mallory and Jessi are both new sitters now.
* Discussion about Stoneybrook’s racist attitude toward Jessi.
* Tanner takes the babysitting test from the book, and passes.
* There is an argument about who made up Tearful Moment. (Jack DID make up Tearful Moment.)
* ”Superman” - nickname of both Jamie and Cam Newton.

## Sign Off

Claudia’s wearing a bra now, and the way she talks, you’d think boys had just been invented. Give a Mallory a baby, she babysits for a night. Teach a Mallory to baby, she’s a babysitter for a lifetime.

## References & Links

* Random Page | The One Where...