Dylan/Synopsis

#### Pre-Episode 13

Dylan was one of the roleplayers who flocked to ALfheim Online, a children's edutainment VRMMO set in a land of fairies, where he played as a Salamander named DeezGunz. He played with his friend Trevor, who played under the name Keith, and they portrayed themselves as a pair of perverted southern stereotypes.

After a while, the players began to wonder what was at the top of the World Tree, a massive tree in the center of the game, as it was heavily guarded. As they speculated what kind of prizes awaited beyond such a quest, a rumor began to spread that whoever got to the top of the tree first would get their wish granted by the Fairy King, Oberon. With this incentive, the players divided themselves into nine factions and began fighting in a "war" to see who could do this first, dubbing this competition the "Race War".

However, at some point, two of the original founders of ALO, Brian and Becky, broke up, and the fallout was so messy that the two of them ended up stealing each other's characters. With Brian now in control of Sakuya, the Queen of the Sylphs, he decided to use the Race War as an excuse to get the players to pick a side in his fight against Becky, which Becky, now in control of the Salamander King, Eugene, perpetuated.

It was presumably around this time that Dylan came up with a secret, convoluted storyline for Trevor to go on without him knowing, which involved Keith being the chosen one who'd lead the Salamanders to glory. However, after rising to power, he would urge the Salamanders to abandon their violent ways to embrace a culture of love, art, and veganism. DeezGunz would disagree with Keith's philosophy, however, and would ultimately kill him to keep the Salamanders from becoming peaceful. Unfortunately, he would regret doing it afterwards, realizing too late that Keith was the leader the Salamanders needed.

Eventually, DeezGunz and Keith became part of a secret alliance between the Salamander General PantySmasher and a Sylph Prince named Cazmer, who wanted to end the Race War by getting the two exes to talk. Together, the players plotted to assassinate Leafa, the Princess of the Sylphs, and spark a war between their two races, as that was the only way to get the two leaders in the same room.

#### Episode 13

One day, PantySmasher, DeezGunz and Keith ambushed Leafa in the Ancient Forest. They eventually cornered her, and PantySmasher commends her for evading them for so long. However, he informs her that they are out of patience and that she's out of options. With nowhere for Leafa to go, DeezGunz asks her to strip for them and Keith starts chucking mayonnaise at her. Leafa then begs the Salamanders not to take her innocence, as she's saving it for Prince Cazmer, and if she loses it, war will rage once more in the Sylph Realm, and begs for their mercy. However, PantySmasher gets confused by the fact that Leafa is crying for help while in a perfect battle stance. Leafa denies this, claiming that she but a humble maiden, taken from the streets and adopted by the kind Queen Sakuya, and has never held a blade in her life. However, she soon runs out of poetic descriptions for how weak she is.

Annoyed, PantySmasher calls a character break and starts criticizing Leafa's contradictory character, as she's acting like a helpless damsel while also giving off the aura of a battle-hardened veteran. Leafa apologizes for ruining their fun, claiming that "old habits die hard". PantySmasher states that this type of attitude is why he hates the Sylph players, as they don't put in the work and ruin the fantasy for everyone else. He then states that he had a long hard shift at the soup kitchen, and all he wants to do is come home and play as a sexually predatory general named "PantySmasher", asking Leafa to give him that for ten minutes. DeezGunz then interjects and says, back in character, that PantySmasher would only last about two minutes. Amused by this remark, PantySmasher uses it as an example of how to roleplay, before asking Leafa what her character wants in this situation. Leafa is confused by such a vaguely general question and says that she doesn't want to get raped, an answer that doesn't satisfy PantySmasher.

However, this assassination attempt is halted when a Spriggan comes crashing to the ground in front them. The Spriggan then chastises someone named Yui for making him fly without permission, only to be embarrassed when he realizes he's being watched. He then tries to play cool and asks what's going on, but the Salamanders tell him to leave, as they have "dibs" on Leafa. Though confused by the Salamanders' personas, comparing them to a weird mixture of Deliverance and Peter Pan, the Spriggan asks Leafa if she needs his help. Leafa sees as the perfect opportunity to perfect her persona and accepts the Spriggan's offer, telling him to save her from the "ill-mannered ruffians". PantySmasher then voices his pride in Leafa's improvement, telling her that she just needs to ask herself the right questions and her character will write itself. However, everyone is caught off guard when the Spriggan takes to this opportunity to kill Keith. With PantySmasher heartbroken by Keith's death and Leafa shocked by how fast the Spriggan is, the Spriggan remarks how it's "good to be home".

#### Episode 14

After the Spriggan kills Keith, DeezGunz voices his disbelief over Keith's demise, and starts monologuing about how it goes against the prophecy. But the Spriggan swiftly kills him mid-monologue, which catching him off guard.

While waiting to respawn, after PantySmasher retreats, Trevor breaks character to ask Dylan about the prophecy he mentioned before, causing Dylan to tell Trevor about the storyline he made for him. Trevor tries to give his thoughts on the storyline, but Dylan cuts him off, telling how the story would ultimately end in his character killing Trevor's. Overwhelmed by his friend's murderous roleplay story, Trevor tells Dylan that his mom has made him some pizza bagels, and that they shouldn't see each other anymore. Dylan tells him that they're just roleplaying, but Trevor ignores him, and the two eventually fade away with Dylan screaming Trevor's name.

#### Episode 16

The next day, Dylan and Trevor presumably talked things out and made up just before they sent a squadron of thirty Salamanders to kill Leafa. They were then contacted by Cazmer, who tells them to meet him in the sewers of Sylvaine, the Sylphs' capital. They managed to sneak into the sewers where they meet up with Cazmer and his bodyguards, who berates them for failing to kill Princess Leafa like he ordered them to. The Salamanders try to explain that they were fought off by a very powerful Spriggan, but Cazmer couldn't understand what they were talking about due to their southern dialect.

Despite being annoyed with their failure, Cazmer resigns his frustrations and tells the two that Leafa's death will no longer be necessary, informing them that the Sylph Queen will be in Butterfly Valley to sign a peace treaty with the Cait Sith. He then tells the two to let their King know that, if his army hurries, they can hunt a few Cait Sith as bonus if he wishes. DeezGunz tells Cazmer that he wishes he told them sooner, as they just sent thirty Salamanders to kill Leafa. Just as he says that, a Salamander named RamRod calls DeezGunz to inform him that, not only are they about to enter the tunnel, but their pet bat Squeaker's wife just had her babies. He then tells DeezGunz not to tell Squeaker, as they want to surprise him after the mission. Just then, a player named Recon, who was secretly listening to the conversation, gets scared by something and lets out a scream of terror. With his cover blown, Recon is shot with several poisoned arrows, leaving his avatar paralyzed, face down in the sewer with a few dollops of mayo thrown onto his butt.

DeezGunz and Keith then told Eugene where Sakuya was, which prompted him to gather an army and invade the peace conference.

## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 Episode 13
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 Episode 14
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 Episode 16
4. ↑ Cazmer's motivation