Werewolf Jones

**Werewolf Jones** is a mentally unstable werewolf and one of the main characters in *Megg, Mogg & Owl*. He doesn't officially live with the trio but always hangs with them because he secretely loves the chaos. He is the father of Jaxon, Diesel, Vejonica, and plenty more, as he states, which haven't shown up in the comics yet. He is divorced of Susan. Jones enjoys feeling superior to others.

Jones is addicted to heroin, alcohol and other substances.

## Appearance

When high, WW looks like an anthropomorphic wolf, with red eyes. However, when he gets sober, he turns into a human, with short hair and a mustache, both dark brown, the same color as his fur in wolf form. His eyes also become yellow instead of red. He is usually seen wearing a blue shirt, gray pants and a pair of black shoes.

## Personality

Perhaps due to his constant substance abuse, Jones often exhibits rash and impulsive behavior with a hedonistic bent. He consistently displays disregard for rules and boundaries, a personality trait which both makes him a lot of fun and gets him into trouble. Werewolf Jones maintains the same domineering attitude that he had in high school.

It is shown multiple times that, in the most bizarre and twisted way, Jones genuinely loves his friends. But he doesn't seem to realize that his actions hurt or upset the people around him.

Hanselmann describes him as a "disgusting monster" and states that "he wants love, he just wants to impress people, he wants to be noticed, so he overcompensates and does a lot of stupid horrible things".

## Powers and Abilities

### Powers

* **Shapeshifting:** Since he's a werewolf, Jones has the ability to turn into an anthropomorphic wolf when he's drunk or high. However, he turns back to his human form when he gets sober.
* **Enhanced Strength:** While in werewolf form, he's shown to have inhuman strength and can easily crash through doors, as he did in Owl's hotel room in Amsterdam.
* **Enhanced Resistance:** Werewolf Jones is unbothered by being injured on multiple ocasions, such as when he cuts his ballsack on purpose with a cheese grater in order to impress his friends, breaks his arm while inside of a barrel rolling downhill and others.

### Abilities

* **Musician:** Jones is able to play the guitar and also sing.

## Biography

In high school, Jones was an aggressive, lecherous scumbag and hasn't changed since then. He was friends with Booger, Mike, Mogg and dated Megg, with whom he's still in love. When WW met Owl, he bullied the hell out of him, throwing his bike, which made Owl really mad and slapped Jones. Infuriated, Jones threw Owl into the ground and jumped on top of him, punching his face several times. Eventually he got sick of it and stopped. Led by Booger and Mike, who were his companions since then, he invited Owl to hang with them and they later became friends.

Right after Jones and Megg broke up, she and Mogg started dating and Jones seemed to be fine with it. It is implied that, at the time, he used to hit on Megg's mother, even though she's way older than him.

In his adulthood, he met Susan, with whom he had at least three children with: Jaxon, Diesel and Vejonica. He divorced her later on. Jones is shown to be an abusive parent with his children, forcing them to do several illegal activities, such as take suggestive photos of them as part of a scheme to get back at Owl, ram raiding retail outlets, sexually exploiting Diesel on cam sites, and forcing them to produce felt hats for him. Also their living conditions and their diet, which is implied to be nothing but sugary breakfast cereal and energy drinks, are beyond cruel. Even though he is possibly one of the worst fathers in the world, Werewolf Jones still won custody of the kids over Susan.

WW and Megg have had a band together called Horse Mania. Jones ended the band after he discovered that Megg had started a new band with Booger called Knife Crime.

At some point, it is revealed by Jones that his mother has cancer.

When Owl, sick of being treated poorly, moves out from the house in New Years eve 2014, Werewolf Jones moves in to take his place. He's the only inhabitant with a stable job and always pays his part of the rent in time. Without Owl's presence, the house quickly descends into an even worse state and, surprisingly, he is the one who becomes the most organized person.

Werewolf Jones goes sober. He gets a respectable job, becomes a nicer person, doesn't commit any crimes, and vastly improves as a father. Then Mike pushes him off the wagon, and he's back to square one.

Later on, Owl moves back in and Jones goes back to his house with Diesel and Jaxon, who were staying with Susan. However, this doesn't stop neither he nor Megg and Mogg from treating him badly.

Originally, in Christmas eve 2017, after being banned from the house, Werewolf Jones enters quietly and begs for Megg to let him stay because he doesn't have anywhere to go. He even goes as far as to declare to her, to which she's sickened by and tells him that he's been "a real cunt" to everyone. Owl and Mogg enter the living room and see them together. Mogg is infuriated and yells at Jones demanding him to leave, while also calling him names. Jones starts to cry and leaves right away. He hides in the bushes outside waiting for the gang to leave and then breaks in, slamming the christmas tree to the ground and jerking off in Megg and Mogg's bed, while crying and feeling guilty. When they get back, seeing the state Jones has left the house, all of them get engared but decide not to waste time on this, since it's christmas eve.

The next day, the phone rings and Megg picks it up. Desperate, Booger tells her that she let Jones sleep on the couch at her house and she and Jones's kids had just found him dead when they went to look for presents. He had died due to an overdose. Later on, in 'Xmas 2019', the way Jones dies is retconned and it's mentioned that he was found under a bridge. He also dies the same way in the non-canon Crisis Zone.

### Criminal Record

* **Arson**
* **Assault**
* **Attempted Murder**
* **Child neglect/abuse**
* **Corruption**
* **Disturbing Public Peace**
* **Domestic violence:** Jones is shown slapping Diesel multiple times while calling him useless.
* **Drug abuse**
* **Drug dealing**
* **Drug-impaired/Drunk driving**
* **Hit and Run**
* **Indecent assault**
* **Indecent exposure**
* **Rape:** Jones assaults and rapes Owl as his "birthday gift".
* **Reckless endangerment**
* **Terrorism**
* **Theft**
* **Trespassing**
* **Vandalism**
* **Voyeurism**

## Relationships

* Unnamed mother
* Diesel - Son
* Jaxon - Son
* Vejonica - Daughter

Allies* Megg - Friend and Ex-Girlfriend
* Mogg - Friend and Temporary Enemy
* Owl - Friend and Former/Temporary Enemy
* Ian - Friend
* Dracula Junior - Friend
* Mike - Friend
* Booger - Friend
* Dan - Friend
* Robot - Friend
* Jack - Friend

## Trivia

* Jones loves felt hats and is frequently seen wearing one.
* Jones has a satanic church.
* Jones's favorite drink is Cocksucking Cowboy
* Jones does not have a valid driver's license, but carries a fake ID that lists his name as "Alberto Garcia Marcos".[**citation needed**]
* Jones is inspired by Simon Hanselmann's friend, Karl Von Bamberger.

## Links and References

2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 High School
3. ↑ Simon Hanselmann Performs "Drone" on the Abraham Riesman YouTube channel
4. ↑ Horrible Party
5. ↑ Below Ambition (Book)
6. ↑ Drone
7. ↑ Day 10,632
8. ↑ Boston Clanger
9. ↑ Cocktails
10. ↑ 28 Days Later
11. ↑ Banned
12. ↑ Xmas 2017
13. ↑ 13.0 13.1 Alex Hoffman: Interview: Simon Hanselmann – "My greatest wish is that I could freeze time." (October 14, 2019). Sequential State. Archived from the original on May 5, 2020.
14. ↑ Health Club
15. ↑ Ram Raids
16. ↑ Owl's Birthday
17. ↑ Worst Behavior
18. ↑ Simon Hanselmann on Instagram: *"[WWJ's favorite drink is] a Cocksucking Cowboy."* (source)
19. ↑ Simon Hanselmann on Instagram: *"This is autobiographical. I’m Megg, my friend Karl is Werewolf Jones. Karl actually did OD under a bridge... sooooooooo, "fuck off"? I miss my friend, I loved my friend."* (source)