Tig Ol' Bitties

"Song about a girl with big titties. Instead of calling it “Big ol' Titties” they called it “Tig ol' Bitties”, switching the first letter of the first and last word"

## Lyrics

[Verse 1: Puff Puff Humbert]

It was the first day back to school

Cuttin' up in class

Actin' like a tool

Friends were rollin' in

We started talkin' about the summer

Deejay saw "Twilight"

Bummer!

I spoke up, and I asked my friends

"Are there any new girls? 9′s or 10′s?

Hoping a few hotties had moved from other cities

And in walked this girl with tig ol' bitties

I can't believe my eyes

In a contest, they'd win first prize

Double D, guarantee I was checking their size

It's like two beach balls in a shirt disguise

Or Earth and Mars having some fun

Wait, I take that back, it's like two of the sun!

But at this point I let my mind run

And drifted off thinking about them tig ol' bitties

[Hook]

(Tig ol' bitties) Mt. Fuji brought its twin

(Tig ol' bitties) Two melons in a shirt

(Tig ol' bitties) (Tig ol' bitties) I put books in my lap

(Tig ol' bitties) Head bobbing as she walks

(Tig ol' bitties) Oh my god!

Tig ol' bitties

Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)

Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)

Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)

Tig ol' bitties

Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)

Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)

Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)

Tig ol' bitties

Tig ol' bitties

[Verse 2: Puff Puff Humbert]

Kept trippin' in class

Because of er dang breasts in a tiny white shirt

Boobs having a fiesta

Later in lab, we were messin' with test tubes

Couldn't take my eyes off the new girl's chest

Boobs!

Wasn't paying attention

Got busted

Had to serve detention

In biology we talked about the bees

The best kind of bees

Boobies!

I can't believe my mind

I old a poker face to her two of a kind

With each step her breasts gettin' redefined

I'm making my move

I'm thinking it's time

Oh snap!

I'm gonna ask her to prom

And in my head she responds

"You're the bomb!"

Feeling nervous so I count to three

"I like your boobs."

"Go to prom with me?

[Hook]

(Tig ol' bitties) King Kong boobs

Tig ol' bitties (Great tracks of land)

Tig ol' bitties

(Tig ol' bitties) Like my balls

(Tig ol' bitties) Real big

(Tig ol' bitties) Oh my god!

Tig ol' bitties

[Electronic Beat]

Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)

Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)

Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)

Tig ol' bitties

Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)

Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)

Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)

Tig ol' bitties

Tig ol' bitties

[Verse 3: Puff Puff Humbert]

She said yes, so I'm getting ready

Stain on my shirt, Mom's spaghetti

I pick her up, and I'm pretty sure

That she'll let me motorboat like "Br-br-br-br-br"

I try to cop a feel once we get to school

She said, "no touching, that's the rule."

Principal walks up on the scene

"It's time to announce prom king and queen."

"Your Favorite Martian and Tig Ol' Bitties."

"Congratulations to you both on winning."

Time slowed down, and she jumped for joy

Then out of her dress jumped something more

Tissues flew and rained from the sky

Oh my god! You stuff your shirt?

Your Favorite Martian in a world of hurt

Aw!!!

Fake ol' bitties

Wow!

[Hook]

(Fake o' bitties!) You're breaking my heart with

(Fake o' bitties!) You're crushing my dreams with

Fake ol' bitties!

(Fake ol' bitties) I can't believe it!

(Fake ol' bitties) You really suck!

(Fake ol' bitties!) I can't believe you would do that

Fake ol' bitties!

[Outro: Puff Puff Humbert]

Why would you do that? Were you just trying to get everyone's attention?

Those aren't boobs! They're lies! Lies I tell you!

But you know I'm still down to make out if you, if you want to, want to come back with me

You know what, never mind