Episode 186 - New God Who Dis

## Intro

**Episode description:**
Getting a feel for this who adventuring thing

**Catchphrase:**
*"What kinda look are you givin' me?"* - Kyle
*"What kind do you want?"* - Stephanie

**Opening:**
Lauren, *"Hello and welcome to another episode of the Tabletop Champions, I'm Lauren your dungeon master and tonight we have Ben, who plays Throden."*

Ben, *"I wasn't really impressed with the wizard's attempt to combine a flesh golem with an ooze monster. It was a meaty ochre jelly."*

Matt, *"Oooh."*

Kyle, *"Booo."*

Lauren, *"Nice. Nice."*

Matt, *"Oh boo."*

Lauren, *"Matt, who plays Fanel."*

Fanel, *"The leading cause of death in Irulan are: heart disease, Chuck Norris and dragons. I tried."*

Lauren, *"You tried. You did good. You did good. A stretch but it was there. We have Stephanie, who plays Raquel."*

Stephanie, *"Insert really bad pun here."*

Lauren, *"Sean, who plays Clover."*

Sean, *"You just came out with six pounds of viscera on you, of course it's gonna be ugly."*

Lauren, *"And we have Kyle who plays Irpaks."*

Kyle, *"Well whenever I'm confused I just check my underwear. It holds the answers to all the important questions."*

## Episode Summary

While **Clover** is preparing a campfire, **Raquel** anxiously searches the corpses of the Drow slavers who had captured the party before the start of the season. She cannot find her stone, but finds a note on the drider‘s body:

> “*The true god needs us. They need our strength. Now more than ever. We need more to complete the mission. Go, grab every creature that's capable of holding a shovel or pickax and bring them to the fortress immediately. Do not return without the slaves. If you come across any of the artifacts that he has asked for, take them to the hags, and confirm their legitimacy. Beware of those still loyal to the Spider Queen. Rumor has it there's a troop marching. Most importantly, do not fail. The true god does not tolerate failures, as we have seen.*”
>
> —C.
>
>

The Genasi does not know what to make of it and hands it to **Irpaks**. Clover loosely associates the phrase "true god" with humans who have attacked **Haven** in the past, but they might have used the phrase "Old One" also. **Fanel** however, having traveld for quite some time now, has heard rumors of the Drow abandoning their worship of **Lloth, the Spider Queen**. They allegedly have fallen under the sway of a different god they only refer to as the "true god". Although this phrase seems to be frequently in use nowadays, Fanel has learned barely anything about this very new, very strange god.

Meanwhile, **Throden** remembers being followed before his capture. Checking his surroundings, he does not find any evidence that this is still the case. Raquel wants to chase after the one Drow who rode ahead of the prisoner train, but realizes she won't be able to catch up in the surrounding terrain. Still, she gets a sense of the direction he fled in.

When everybody is gathered around the fire, Throden dines on a Drow corpse, and later reanimates it with mycelia, to keep watch. Clover regales the story of his life and of **Colin**, his favorite adventurer, which inspires the group. Fanel also shares his life story, and that he did not want to kill his master in a duel to the death. To Irpaks, this only means Fanel is not really a monk, and the Elf ultimately agrees.

After a while, Clover manages to get an idea of where exactly they are: as makes out the *North Star of Irulan*, he determines they must be north of **Haven**, and rather close. When the group finally goes to sleep, the Mousefolk sneaks away for 30 minutes and does a secret thing. He comes back and snuggles up to Raquel.

At dawn, the magical darkness over Irulan persists. Clover writes a note about his well-being and sends it to his mothers using **Chubbs the boar**, whom he pulled from his pouch. He then tries to lead the group into an adventure by lying about the way to Haven, but nobody believes him. Raquel recruits the others for her goals instead. She picks up the track of the escaped Drow, and they follow it north using the cart and two horses.

### The Khul Tavern

It is a full day of uninterrupted travel, although they perceive something moving alongside them behind the trees every now and then. It is too fast to recognize. By the end of the day, they find a small hamlet with some stores and an inn, called **The Khul Tavern**. Irpaks knows the little village, though it has been a while. He can tell most of the homes are abandoned, and the place looks a lot more shabby than it used to. Raquel must be convinced to spend a night at the inn and learn what the locals know.

The Khul Tavern has a round common room and a Halfling named **Lacey** tending bar. She serves Clover his first ale, another to Throden, the biggest bottle of wine she has to Raquel, and a nice salad and some water to Fanel, who uses the night at the bar to talk about how alcohol is unhealthy. When Irpaks orders a *Gin Rickey*, Lacey improvises and ends up creating the *Gin Lacey* instead.

Raquel probes the barkeep about any Drow guests, and she confirms having seen a rider, who only bought food and then was on his way into what she calls the *Hag Forest*. She explains that some hags are causing the town quite a lot of grief, and offers them free room and board, as well as a party, if they sort out the issue for them.

In the end, Clover is snoggered from his first ale, and passes out in the hallway leading to his room.

## Memorable Quotes

**Lauren,** *"Are you plantsplaining the druid?"*