B012 Ravnica Part 1

> "*This is why you come to the Carnival of Rakdos, am I right? Our demonic benefactor knows you like sex and violence... and whatever this is."*"
> ― Ravnica Emcee
>
>

**Ravnica Part 1** is the twelfth bonus episode of Queens of Adventure. It was originally released as part of a ten episode event for Dungeon Delve, the official podcast of Dungeons and Dragons introducing the Guildmaster's Guide to Ravnica. In it, the queens take on new characters, member of the Cult of Rakdos whose performance is interrupted rudely.

## Synopsis

*As this is the first time the queens play characters other than themselves, the episode starts with introductions. Harlotte will be playing Gabranth. Butylene plays Barb'ra. Matthew, normally the DM will be playing Onderus the Loxodon Druid, circle of spores. Fraya is playing a monk goblin, Lylið. Lastly, Arson is Theodor, a barbarian.*

Night in the city of Ravnica. The 6th precinct is quiet, in part due to edicts from the Azoria Senate closing down establishments. In a foundry abandoned by the Izet League, one club remains open: The Izet steamworks. It is one of the last refuges of the Cult of Rakdos. Masked figures dance in cages dangling from the ceiling near the center of the club. There is a bar upstairs and a stage downstairs. The crowd are goblins, humans, elves, and minotaurs. They are here to see five defiant performers.

An emcee announces the show is beginning and introduces each act. First up is goblin Lylið who drops from the ceiling on silks. She beats on five men on stage to make them moan a song. Onderus come in next, dazzled by the spotlight as he pops out of the curtain. Several people are bound to a wall behind him and he has bludgeoning instruments strapped to him as he removes a cloak. He drumbeats along the people. Next out is puppetmaster Gabranth who hovers out from behind the curtain. A glockenspiel appears in one hand and a marionette magical focus in the other. They cast *toll the dead* onto the crowd. People in the first few rows fall unconscious. Theodor lumbers onto the stage, whips out a drum machine, turns it up as fast and loud as they can. Onderus and Lylið are both trying to match the beat. Barb'ra steps out with a base guitar (that also looks like an axe). She chucks her guitar into the air, catching it and singing.

The group drops into the splits and three of them, Gabranth, Onderus, and Barb'ra fire *firebolt* spells to try and *bring down the house*. Onderus's bolt goes wild, igniting the dancers in cages on fire. One crashes down. Barb'ra's liquefies the chain of another cage.

The Master of Ceremonies is thrilled by all of this as he invites volunteers to be flogged. A young elf steps forward, but is interrupted by a loud boom from the far side. A voice declares the Azoria Senate has come to shut down the proceedings.

In the back of the room is a knight in shining armor with angelic wings riding a felidar, flanked by two other guards. Onderus uses *mold earth* to dump dirt onto the knight to humiliate him and the knight orders his forces to arrest the performers.

Lylið runs to the guards, strikes with her beaded staff, and follows up with *fury of blows.* She finishes the guard by jumping onto him, dropping him to the floor, and biting off his genitals. The goblin kicks another arrestor and does *stunning strike* while *hitting her mark*. The arrestor is panicked.

Onderus suggests they blast a hole through the wall into the sewers, where he has friends in the Golgari Swarm before casting *hold person* on the Knight and another Arrestor. The celestial cat moves carefully to not knock off its immobile rider as it attacks Lylið. The other two active arrestors gang up on Lylið who dodges expertly three of the four strikes.

Gabranth uses two *eldritch blasts*, one towards the felidar, which misses, and one through one of the men chained to the backwall to start a hole, by cracking it. A green halo spreads across the chained man's torso until he falls to ash.

The audience loves this, as this is becoming a Carnival. They may riot.

Moving closer to the Arrestors, Theodor goes into a rage and yanks out clumps of their hair and strikes one of the arrestors with a trident, splitting the armor like a can of tuna. The slick trident slides off the second arrestor's armor as Theodor tries to strike him second.

Dashing forward, Barb'ra attacks with her axe, critically hitting the knight, and knocking him through the door with a flourishes Lylið spits the dick in her mouth at the cat, who looks confused. She then jumps onto the cat to try and grapple its mouth shut, pummeling it with *fury of the small*.

Onderus steps backwards and uses his powerful build to back kick a hole in the wall. He then points into the crowd and casts *fungal infestation* on a dead arrestor. A cloud of spores moves through the audience, surrounding the body, lifting it up like a marionette. The druid commands it to attack one of its companions. It kills another arrestor.

The last mobile arrestor dashes out, shouting "Alarm, Alarm!" and calling for reinforcements. Gabranth casts *mind spike* against him as he flees, and his skull pops. The warlock next telepathically tells the incapacitated knight that this is what happens when you mess with the cult. The knight soils himself before snapping out of the body hold.

Theodor takes the magical amplification device and drops it as he *makes an exit*, following Gabranth. Barb'ra saunters past the stunned felidar, swings her axe at the knight's knees to *break a leg,* and then moves through the writhing, moaning crowd. She *mage hand* pets the felidar on the way past.

Lylið buries her claws into the cat, and whispers in its ear to try and animal handle it, which fails. Giving up on taming it, she dashes through the hole into the sewers.

Onderus casts *mold earth* to create glowing dirt words "Rakdos Rules. The Senate Drools" before exiting. He commands the zombie to fall onto the knight. The knight shouts to no one that he wants to end the cult's horrors. The felidar strikes the zombie, bursting him into a cloud of spores that cover the knight who gets up and flees.

Casting *thunderclap* to create some personal space and knock revelers into the air, Barb'ra saunters onto the stage and out the hole. As reinforcements enter the club, the Master of Ceremonies and the revelers all flee into the sewers.

The performers find a member of the Golgari Swarm. They aren't happy to have the party there, and escort them through the sewers to a manhole quickly. The thrall has waned on the crowd and they stumble away as the sun begins rising. Onderus flirts with the Golgari and they swap mold spores.

The emcee approaches them and says the group should get to the Guild Hall and report to Rakdos what happened, as they are all tired of the Senate shutting down the Cult's shows. They reach the Gore House, a factory converted into Cult headquarters. They head down a red staircase to the home of Rakdos. A lizardman greets them.

"The great Rakdos has chosen the five of you for a thrilling mission," he says, explaining their ties to various other groups specially mark them as capable of blackmailing the other guilds. They need to seek their contacts, allies, and rivals today to find out who in the Senate, Orzoth League, or Boros League is behind the shut downs, as the Cult will strike them down tonight with the most humiliating show in Ravnican history.

END PART 1

In the bonus stream version of this episode, DMs Matt and James followed up the plot with a short after-show recorded six months later.

James enjoyed running the game for the first time of the show, rather than just helping plan and prepare the show. He had never been so aware of how wet his mouth is until he edited out unpleasant sounds in their editing software.

Each of the queens went through a character creation process, with a random approach. This is one part of what was recorded, and there is possibly two other hours remaining. Because of the randomess, James as DM didn't know who the villain was going to be. It went very gross in the end and it was unreleasable for the Dungeon Delve feed. Matt mentions a magic tree, and a warehouse on the docks as places they went.

Logistically, as regular shows take so much planning, the two didn't have time to Matt to read the Guildmaster's Guide to Ravnica book and plan out an adventure in time for them to meet deadlines for the crossover. As James had a bit of an understanding of Ravnica, he took charge. The random generation eased the prep work.

Matt liked having his hands tied a little, having less knowledge of what would be going on, and only having one character at his disposal. He loved the random character creation, although they weighted the randomness to hopefully get some of the Ravnica elements introduced in this D&D expansion. Since his Loxodon had low strength, they needed to find a reason for him to be weak. This led Matt to create a rich backstory and he would love to play the character again. He was also shocked by the grotesquery and adherence to mayhem the Cult is.

James agrees it seems a little early teen boy edgy. They picked it because of the performance aspect that fit their players, but they feel more like villains. Although each of the ten guilds serve a function to the worldwide city, James doesn't quite get this guild's role, other than a release valve for chaos. Matt thought they were a little Muppet mayhem, and their function is to put all those people in one place.

Matt asks James which guild is his favorite. James runs through most of them, trying to think which are his favorite. He settles on the mad science of the Izet League, he has an embarrassing soft spot for Steampunk aesthetic.

As Matt would love to explore more of Ravnica that they didn't explore in this campaign, they bring up their recent, non Queens of Adventue D&D games with other people including Jenn Vaughn from the D20 Dames who helped organize Podcasts of Ravnica.

They talk about the unique idea for inspiration, where everyone had three random theater prompt cards. James says inspiration is a potentially interesting thing in 5th edition, but undercooked, so they are exploring how to use it in the show and will develop a new way in later Season 1 episodes. It potentially just means a DM unevenly rewards it to certain players, or they just forget. Matt agrees he forgets.

Matt's favorite guilds are the Golgari Swarm and the Selesnians, as he is drawn to druids (and briefly forgets Onderus is a druid). Each guild comes with special spells, like Rakdos gives firebolt, which is the only way that a spore druid like Onderus could have that spell.

James asks listeners for thoughts on the different setting, whether they liked the queens playing new characters with different names. They also mention how they started trying to do listening parties for new episodes on youtube.

### Characters

#### Party

* Barb'ra - simic hybrid bard of swords (Butylene O'Kipple)
* Gabranth - human warlock of chain (Harlotte O'Scara)
* Lylið – goblin monk drunken master (Fraya Love)
* Onderus - loxodon druid (DM Matt)
* Theodor - human zealot barbarian (Arson Nicki)

#### NPCs

* Master of Ceremonies
* Azoria Senate Knight
* Azoria Senate Arrestors
* Neozar, Rakdos Spokesperson

## Episode Notes

### Lore

* The Azorius Senate has recently ordered the closing of Cult of Rakdos clubs throughout the city.

### Inspiration Earned

(For this episode, players were given three random theatrical prompts. Using them grants inspiration)

* Gabranth - *bringing down the house*
* Lylið - *hitting her mark*
* Theodor - *making an exit*
* Barb'ra - *break a leg*

### Memorable Quotes

* "I literally eat the rich. A lot of bitterness there, which is why I tenderize them first." - Onderus
* "Theydies and gentlethems of Ravnica your attention please! The show is about to begin. Rooollll initiative!" - Master of Ceremonies
* "The audience is *dying.*" - "But I am living!" - Fraya Love and Arson Nicki
* "Tomorrow is an illusion and everything is ridiculous." - Master of Ceremonies
* "How many tickles does it take to get into the college of swords? Tentacles! Let's give it up for Barb'ra!" - Master of Ceremonies
* "It's a commentary on the human condition, don't worry about it." - "The human condition is flammable." - Theodor and Onderus
* "By the way, at some point I notice four out of the five look very familiar but I wont say which ones. " - Lylið
* "It's the liquor control board and there here to make sure we don't have fun." - "Or nipples" - Barb'ra and Theodor
* "They do call her the tuna can opener for a reason." - Barb'ra
* "Eldritch Lance is my first boyfriend." - Onderus
* "I had a nice little.. you know, oh god I can't think of words right now." - "Balder?" - "No" - "Rash?" "No." "Bolero?" - "No" - "Circus fire?" - "Possible... Make-Up." - Lylið, Onderus, Barb'ra, and Gabranth
* "Yaaas! Bless me, daddy!" - Rakdos audience member
* "No ticket. This one didn't pay cover." - Barb'ra
* "I make the most of my spores." - Onderus
* "That famous sound of a bag of shirts." - DM James
* "Isn't this what usually happens when you come out of a manhole?" - Lylið

### References

* Leigh Bowry
* Fellowship of the Ring
* Bootsy Collins
* Charlie's Angels
* Mortal Kombat
* Street Fighter - Chun Li (and other characters)
* He-Man - Battlecat
* Mommie Dearest - Christina, bring me the axe
* Gambit from X-Men
* Grace Jones on Island Life
* Meatloaf
* Spice Girls - Sporty Spice
* Fist of the North Star
* Fashion Photo Ru-view "Trend Alert"
* Lauren Bacall coffee commercials - "My favorite time of day is knight."
* Pokemon anime - "Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!"
* Dumbo
* Gary Gygax
* Todd McFarlane
* Harley Quinn
* Muppets
* Nine Inch Nails

### Name That Tune

* Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies
* "Hang with Me" - Robyn
* "Canned Heat" - Jamiroquai
* "Kitty Girl" - RuPaul
* "Thousand Miles" - Vanessa Carlton

## Behind the Queens

* The Podcasts of Ravnica event was organized by Jenn Vaughn, friend of Queens of Adventure, and cast member of the D20 Dames podcast (who were part of the Double D20 live show)
* The version of the episode for the Bonus Feed has a little more material in it than the Dungeon Delve version, as that one was cleaned up more for a broader audience. Both versions are only a portion of the larger recording session for this one-shot, the rest of which was deemed not appropriate for the event. It may be released as further bonus episodes.
* The events of this episode would be referenced in the Podcasts of Ravnica episode released by the D20 Dames featuring the Azorian Senate during a daily briefing of overnight crimes.
* This is the first episode to feature a different DM than Matt.
* Unlike most other bonus episodes, this episode does include the Theme Song.

**Greetings From Fire Island**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Show Must Go On**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Operation Watersport**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - Ch7 - **Trials**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Ghosts of the Coast**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Devil's Due**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Special**: The Story So Far
**The Beautiful Place**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **A Dance in the Dark**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Drama in the Deep**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **Whispers From the Heart**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Danger Rangers!**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Mist Connections**: Ch1 - Ch2
**Unreleased**
Lost: Camp Crystal Light - Pax West 2018 --  vs the Lizard People
Live Shows: Seattle Style -- Minneapolis Style