Classic Adventures of PWNage! No. 6: The More the Merrier

## Overview

A Researcher and his assistants walk down the hall, as he explains his current predicament. Their genetic clones of Earth's best heroes are a no go.

Most of them have some sort of deformity, and won't live long enough without their development tanks, let alone save anybody from danger.

Project The More the Merrier, is getting its plug pulled.

The Doctors all enter a dark room filled with tanks. The tanks have malformed humanoid creatures in them, but none seem to be awake. The Head Researcher tells the others to start taking them off of life support, and they do.

A female doctor approaches a tank labeled S2, and grabs it's cords, yanking them out of the wall. The Tank goes dark, and she looks at it to try and catch a glimpse of it's face. As she looks closer, the experiment crashes through the thick glass of its tank, and topples her.

She shrieks in horror as it begins to swat at her head with its large hands like an angry Chimpanzee. A guard immediately shoots it back, getting it off the woman. The Guard keeps a steady pace at the monster, unloading his pistol until it slumps against the wall.

The Guard reloads his pistol, but as the mag fell out and he checked the creature, it was already standing, now smiling at him. He raises his gun, but it's too fast. The monster pounces on him, and begins to thrash him around by the head, the sides of it clamped in his maw like a rabid dog.

The guard shoots randomly, trying to hit the massive beast on top of him, but only further endangering the lives of everyone else. The Guard eventually stops struggling, and S2 throws the corpse away, crashing into other tanks in the room.

One researcher looks at the Head, and the woman, grabbing a large piece of glass as they hid behind other tanks, watching the carnage. He nods to them, going in for the attack, but is immediately rushed as soon as he turns the corner by the beast.

The Head Researcher takes the woman and tries to leave the room, but in front of the door lies another clone, who the Head recognizes as C2. C2 reaches forward, and violently grabs the Head Researcher by the face, digging his fingers deep into his skin, filling it with a black, oil-like ooze, until it bursts, sending bone and gore everywhere.

The Head Researcher falls to the ground, just as S2 turns the corner, still smiling, still hungry. The female doctor was stuck between the two clones, and could do nothing but scream as they tore her apart.

Their rampage sweeps through the halls of the facility, as they attack every living thing in sight.

they reach the outside of the facility, as Chad the Fantastic and Speedi Spi make their arrival in their strange, off-brand-looking EDFcopter. They land heroically and demand that the clones stop, or they'll "Be forced to kick their butt!".

C2 stares through the goofy heroes, as S2 begins to chuckle madly, unnerving them. Speedy Spi attempted to talk, but was immediately rushed by S2, pouncing at him like a large cat.

The thud of S2 landing on him was like no other, as Chad the Fantastic tried to knock him off, but was stopped by C2 coming out of the ground as if it were a liquid, and grabbing him by the throat, filling it with the sludge until it overflowed violently from his facial orifices.

Things escalated fast, with the fabled Earth Defending Federation being killed, the governments sent everything they had to catch these monstrosities. It wasn't long before they were cornered by a practical small armada, when a sudden flash of light blew past them.

Time seemed to freeze, as two tears in reality lingered in mid air, one coming in, and one going out. S2 grabbed C2, and hopped into the second one. The wormhole sent them spiraling throughout dimensions, until they eventually landed in a garbage bin outside of a clothes store.

Inside the store, two bored employees are... bored, and waiting for their shift to be over. One of them is looking at the cameras to alleviate the dullness of his job, when he notices something in the back camera, of what he assumes to be some kind of mountain Lion on it's hind legs.

He calls his fellow employee over, and asks if he can see that, with the other patronizing him for resorting to showing him scary images like it's 2007.

The first one is confused, and looks back at the screen, trying to explain what he sees is actually there but gets shocked when he looks back to see a face staring into the camera, with long black hair, and no eyes.

He explains again that he doesn't know what that is, but his coworker is terrified, pointing toward the store window.

A horrifying.... man? stands in front of the glass, looking at a poster on a pole, fascinated by it. The poster is from the EDF tryouts, specifically one of Spiral, that was never taken down.

It turns its gaze toward the inside of the shop, but it's empty. The Employees are behind the front desk, hiding, and trying to figure out a plan. The second one pulls out a pocket knife, as the first asks how long he's had it. The second one asks if that's really the question of the hour, and the first shuts up, understanding his dumbass question.

The chime of the door goes off, and the workers begin to freak out, hearing the breathing of the creature going near and far at different intervals, but they remain hidden behind the desk.

The first one takes the camera pad out, and looks at it to see where the creature is. Ignoring that the black haired thing is gone, he switches to the aisle cam, but the camera shows that the creature is right at the counter. They both look up and see the beast, who cackles at them.

They shriek in terror, but the havoc stops, as a fashionista woman walks in, demanding her money back for absolutely ravaged shoes, and that she has no receipt for them.

The monster rushes the lady, and she too screams, but as she turns to run, the grey figure stops in her path, shoving her backward into the maw of the beast. using the distraction, the employees make a run for it and escape the clothes store, sprinting away into the night.

S2 gnaws on the lady's corpse, loving his meal, while C2 looks for clothes to wear. C2 asks S2 what kind of look they should go for, and S2 (after a good burp) points at a bootleg shirt with Chad and Spiral on it. C2 says he would rather actually explode and die than wear that, but S2 explains that he means they should wear their clothes.

C2 likes the idea of impersonating the heroes, and grabs some clothes that look similar to Chad's, getting black sludge on them. Anti grabs a bunch of vaguely Spiral-like clothes, and tries to morph his body into something more human-like.

C2 says he doesn't really look anything like him, resembling more of an "Anti-Spiral" so S2 looks back at the shirt, snapping with a revelation, as he reaches into his mouth, and pulls out the small sunglasses of the woman, slapping them on.

C2 applauds him, stating he's got the look, and Anti compliments him too, but he should probably wash those out, as they have his "gunk" all over them. They head to the back room, and put his clothes in a washing machine. Anti insists they add something white to ensure that the clothes don't turn black, but C2 says that he has it backwards.

It's too late though, as Anti has already pressed start. The process finishes, and Anti was right... sort of. The gunk is now on the tank top, yes, but so is ALL of the blue from the original outfit.

Anti laughs, calling him "Mono-Chad", much to his dismay, but he also says it looks better, as the colors bring out his skin. They leave the building, and decide to split up and kill the Chad and Spiral of this dimension too, laughing together maliciously.

The real Chad and Spiral are also sharing a laugh, watching AFV. A man is cooking pizza, saying he "Always hates-a this-a part." He picks it up out of the oven with his bare hands, screeching in pain, as Tom Bergeron comes back with a shocked face, before laughing, and announcing that Mr. Spaghetti is the winner of America's funniest home videos.

Spiral and Chad high five, as they both voted, and tell Ejay to come in with them, but Aiden, cooking something in the kitchen, tells them he's probably not there, as he has to go to his sister's 5th grade graduation.

Circa is shocked, as she didn't even know that was happening, and says that they should all go together and congratulate her as well, seeing as how Ejay's Abuela says they're family too.

Chad sets up a plan for them to get a cake to celebrate, and they all set out, hopping in Aiden's Van. They pull up to the bakery, and as they enter, A man bumps into Spiral. Spiral apologizes, and The man says it's quite alright, smiling strangely.

Spiral is weirded out by all of the teeth he has but otherwise ignores it. The man tells him he's a big fan of their work, and asks where they're headed off to. Spiral says they're getting a cake for a graduation ceremony at Farmshaw elementary, which the man thinks is "Too darn sweet" of them all. Spiral nervously chuckles, and heads inside.

Anti Spiral quickly rushes to the alley behind the bakery, and tells Mono, who is waiting, he knows where the Chad and Spirals are headed. Mono agrees to wait there and fight them, while Anti beats them to the school.

Anti excitedly runs off, frothing with rabid excitement. Inside the bakery, Aiden says he has to pee, and asks where the bathroom is. After he finds it, he finishes his business, and washes his hands, looking in the mirror, when Mono's head pops through, scaring him.

Aiden attempts to slap him, but he's caught by Monochad's quick reflexes, as he uses Aiden as leverage to yank himself out of the mirror. Aiden reacts quickly, rolling backward, and judo throwing Mono through the bathroom doorway.

The other three are surprised, as Mono stands up. Aiden shuffles over to the rest of the group, and explains that he came out of the mirror and attacked him. Chad stares strangely at Mono, as he taunts him, asking if he sees the resemblance between them.

Chad snaps back saying that Mono is considerably more ugly, but he can otherwise. Mono's smug expression drops, and he rushes the group. Chad goes to throw a punch, but Mono's body opens up around his hand, and closes, when Mono starts wailing on him, chuckling as he does so. Aiden swipes off Mono's head with Lazelokk, but Mono catches it mid-air, and throws it back at him, headbutting Aiden.

Monochad frees regular Chad, and runs out the door of the bakery, as Chad, Aiden, and Spiral give chase. The baker comes back with the cake confused, asking where the rest went. Circa scoffs, and says they're just busy, handing him the money.

At Farmshaw Elementary, the ceremony is about to begin, and Ejay is at a vending machine, looking at the options available. The door at the end of the hallway opens, and there stands a figure with spiky hair. Ejay is confused at first, but realizes it might be Spiral!

He waves, asking if it's him, and the figure responds that he's right, walking over to him. Ejay is glad he came, as his sister will be super stoked to see him at her graduation, but then asks where the rest are. "Spiral" says the rest are out getting a surprise for her, and he can't know either. Ejay also likes this idea, and plays along, asking if he wants anything from the vending machine.

"Spiral" says he's all good, and that they should start heading toward the cafeteria. The two walk together, and Ejay starts to put together that he looks a little... weird. He asks why his glasses are smaller, as he's not used to seeing his full eyes, and that he never noticed how small his pupils were. "Spiral" says he doesn't know what he means, as his pupils expand a bit, weirding Ejay out even further.

He tells Ejay that he came in a different outfit to trick his sister, just in case she sees him. Ejay says all he did was change pants and drop the sweater, along with not wearing shoes for some reason. He doesn't really think it'll work, especially since he didn't think he was someone else for a second.

Ejay grows even more suspicious, saying that he thought someone like Spiral would go all out on a disguise, like that time at Coachella, asking if he remembers that, giggling. "Spiral" chuckles, laughing about it, and saying Ejay's right, he should've done better.

Ejay's smile drops, saying that Spiral hates Coachella, and would never go, joke or not. Anti stares blankly in silence, as a smile slowly creeps on his face. Ejay asks, dead serious, who he is.

Anti's head begins to morph, as he reassures Ejay that he's his friend, saying it over, and over again. Ejay becomes angry, charging some plasma in his fist. Anti takes notice of this, and swipes at him, but Ejay catches his wrist, and tosses him into the large hallway, as he crashes into the trophy case, heard by the people getting ready for the ceremony.

Anti convulses on the ground, stretching his limbs, as the crack and contort into long, gangly appendages. He stands up as Ejay approaches, laughing in his face about how he's gonna pick his skull clean and show it to his little sister.

Ejay's eyes glow a firey green, as he takes a defensive stance, ready to attack against the monstrous impostor.

Monochad manages to bring them to the elementary school, as the rest catch wind to what's happening. Suddenly, the door from the roof access of the second floor bursts open, as a green light shimmers into the sky, before dropping down into the field.

Ejay battles on the ground with Anti, angrily striking him several times, but all Anti does is laugh and laugh. Ejay begins to charge a laser to shut him up, but Monochad appears behind him, grabbing his arms.

Anti Spiral lurches forward to take a chunk out of Ejay's chest, but is stopped by Chad putting him in a headlock. Monochad and regular Chad bicker back and forth, teasing eachother, when Chad ends it by saying it's 2 against 5.

Aiden appears behind Mono, slicing off one of his arms, and freeing Ejay, who splats Mono's head open with one short blast from his hand. Ejay's shocked, but Mono's head forms right back into place, staring straight at him.

Anti eventually frees himself too, elbowing Chad in the stomach, and rising up, roaring at him. Chad returns with a Sonic Scream, which hurts Anti's ears badly, practically incapacitating him as he falls to the ground.

Monochad morphs through Aiden to get into the school, covering him in sludge, and getting inside. In the main hall, he tries to go through a wall to get onto the stage in the cafeteria, but Spiral catches his ankle, throwing him at Circa, who punches him back.

They juggle him for a second, before they both punch in at the same time, bursting his "brain" out of his head. It lands back inside of it, and he falls to the ground, out cold.

Chad attempts to help clean Aiden, while Ejay rushes Spiral and Circa to come with him so they don't miss his sister's graduation.

Ejay's sister, Cassidy, steps up onto the stage, worriedly looking for her brother, when the Principal hands her a diploma. She hesitates to take it, but then eventually sighs, accepting his lateness.

She grabs the diploma, reaching to shake his hand with her other, when a crash comes from behind the stage. The Principal looks into the curtains to the abyss, when Ejay bursts through the cafeteria doors, yelling and getting everyone's attention.

His sister is delighted to see him, asking his name excitedly, but she is interrupted by the microphone dropping by her feet. She looks to her right, and shrieks.

The Principal's face is frozen with shock, as the jaws of the Anti-Spiral clench ever tighter around his collarbone, and rip the chunk of flesh and cloth from his body, as he falls to the floor of the stage, lifeless.

Anti roars at the speechless audience, who screams in terror at the murder the beast just committed. Aiden and Chad are in the bathroom, washing the gunk off of him, when they hear the screaming, looking at eachother with worry.

Chad tells Spiral and Circa, who are carrying Mono's unconscious body, to help clean Aiden while he investigates. They agree, tossing Mono in an open Janitor's closet for a moment to help.

Ejay launches at Anti fist first, but Anti catches the attack, grabbing Ejay's head and slamming him into the floor, ending his relentless fury by breaking a table with Ejay's skull, Cassidy pleads for the beast to stop, which gets its interest, as he turns around with a bloody, chunky, grin.

One girl tries to use a personal taser from her purse, and shoots Anti with it. The voltage does nothing, and he laughs as she is pounced by his immense stature, her too screaming bloody murder. He shakes her a bit, sending her purse flying off her shoulder, with all of its belongings sliding across the floor.

He opens his rancid jaws, ready to clamp them around her head, as she screams even more, when Chad appears, putting his hands on his jaws and wrenching his mouth open. Chad yells at the woman to run, but Anti grabs her by the throat, and shouts a guttural demand.

"STAY!!!"

Anti uses all of his bite power to finally shut his maw on Chad's fingers, causing him to yelp in pain, as if a car door was slammed on a child's hand. Anti shakes his head, thrashing Chad around, making him groan in anguish before tossing him away, into more tables.

He slowly approaches Chad, who discovers a battered Ejay and his mother, who holds him in a defensive attempt at aid. The Beast gurgles and growls in a deep bellow, as he inches closer and closer, a predator circling in on his prey.

Cassidy watches as Chad grows more anxious, not exactly knowing what to do. She looks at the unconscious woman, and then at her things, before getting an idea. Anti lowers to his hands and feet, his legs bending in an inhuman way, as he gets ready to pounce at them both, hopefully having an extraterrestrial meal, with a side of tenderized Brocks, when a piercing noise echoes throughout the cafeteria.

Anti SHRIEKS in pain, immediately dropping to the floor and covering where his ears would be, not writhing, but full on thrashing about the ground like a lung-shot Lion. Cassidy stands in her own ear-splitting pain, holding the unconscious woman's self defense alarm, a small device that emits a deafening high-pitched noise, and slowly, painfully gets closer and closer to the convulsing beast.

It lurched around as if there were angry hornets inside its head, roaring and shrieking with sounds that a dinosaur from Hell would have trouble listening to. Chad seizes the opportunity, getting next to Cassidy, and muffling her ears by holding her head to his chest. He takes the device, and throws it at Anti Spiral, as it lands next to his head.

It launches upward, letting out a massive screech, before it falls to the floor, headbutting the small device on the way down, smashing it. On its hands and knees, it slowly looks up at Chad and the little girl, no more sinister smile on its face, like the fun is now over. It lets out a loud yelp, before it begins to run at them. Chad holds Cassidy behind him, ready for the beast's strike, and swings up in an attempt to uppercut it, but it avoids the attack, instead biting under his arm. Chad tries another shout, but is quickly silenced by it bending him back, getting him on his knees.

Anti tries to end the fight, attempting to lock his jaws around Chad's head, but he uses his hands to stop them. Chad is beginning to lose his strength, as his hands can't stop its jaws, and quake inside its mouth. The hard teeth make Chad growl in pain, as his hardened skin begins to crack from the pressure.

Just as the cracks draw blood, two green glowing hands wrench the jaws away from his head, and he falls to the floor to his hands and knees. Chad looks up to see what's happening, to see a glowing Suit of shimmering green armor peeling the jaws of The Beast away from eachother. It strikes Anti in the mouth, before shoving it's arm down the throat of the monster.

A glint glows from the eye of the Knight in green, as the pupil of Anti shrinks in fear, and the sound of plasma from deep inside the creature is audible by everyone in the room. Small bits of light escape every orifice of the monster, as the Armored being pushes it back, its arm sliding out of his gullet.

Anti stumbles back as smoke billows from his mouth. His eyes are lazy, and his footing is weak, before he collapses to the floor. Dead? Out? Who cares, at least this horrid display is over.

The suit fades away, and inside it lie Ejay, beaten and exhausted. Cassidy runs up and hugs him deeply as he gets on one knee. Ejay's mother also rushes over and hugs them as well, with Chad struggling to stand. Ejay offers him a hand, helping him up, to which Chad praises him, telling how incredibly impressive the whole thing was.

Another groan echoes from behind them, as they all turn around in shock. Anti stands there, demolished, but awake, it breathes in to roar once more, but is cut off, literally, by Lazelokk landing directly in the middle of its forehead.

It looks to the center of its face, grabbing the handle, before dropping to the ground once more.

Ejay and Chad turn around again to see Aiden, along with the other two. Aiden says he needs new clothes.

Skipping ahead a day or two, Ejay's family watches a video of his victory against the creature, and praises him for his bravery, and general coolness. Ejay said that it wouldn't have been possible without Cassidy using the self defense tool and distracting it, and how that action most likely saved his, and Chad's life. Ejay also remarks that he feels a bit bad for the whole fight in the first place, as it was her big day.

Then he gets an idea!

He grabs Cassidy, bringing her to the fridge, and showing her the inside.

The Comic ends with her holding her graduation cake, as he wishes her a happy late graduation.

\*After Credits Page\*

Some scientists in a government project called the Hazardous and Dangerous Entities Security are hoisting up Anti-Spiral and MonoChad inside of a cell before they awaken.

"I don't understand how they could even survive such an attack. Direct plasma to all internal organs, An axe to the forehead, The Grey One's brain was ON THE FLOOR when we found it!"

"Tests say they're not from here. Maybe it has something to do with that."

"At least they're locked in this Hellhole instead of the streets of fucking Chicago... We don't usually get that many entities anyway, so two for one call is a good deal."

"Meh..." Shrugs the second researcher.

"The More the Merrier."

## Trivia

* Anti Spiral's hair growth is gradual, but pretty quick in the comic, as he gains more and more. he starts bald, and gains his "signature" hair by the time they get clothed. -Lobsterbike
* Chad the Fantastic and Speedi Spi are Government project super soldiers, instead of aliens. The reality that they are from also relates more to that of our own, being that the Governments care more about diddling kids and money than Earth's needs. It's part of the reason why MTM was so fucked up, in practice, execution, and product. -Lobsterbike
* Another couple of fun facts, Speedi Spi can only run about 60 Miles Per Hour, and Chad the Fantastic is fantastically mediocre, only being able to lift things a little bit heavier than the average guy, like a car. They are parodies of The Flash and Captain America, respectively. -Lobsterbike
* This issue is kinda all over the place. Why didn't Spiral just run in there and immediately kill Anti with Circa? Why does Aiden care about being dirty? The simple answer, is that scary monster, is cool. -Lobsterbike