Spelling Bee Massacres The 12 Days Of Christmas

***The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee Massacres The 12 Days of Christmas or Spelling Bee* *Massacres The 12 Days of Christmas*** is a song from the album; *Broadway’s Greatest Gifts, Volume 7: Carols For A Cure.* The album includes many running musicals during the season with holiday-hinted tunes.

## Overview

> ***“A song entitled "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee Massacres the 12 Days of Christmas" was released online as a holiday track sung by the cast. It reveals several different instances of events within the lives of the characters, such as Coneybear being given 2 right socks named "Phil", Olive discussing various places her dad forgets her at, Barfée ruling his sea anemone circus from his basement, Panch's urine laced with Ritalin, Rona's most recent boyfriend breaking up with her, Mitch ending up and making calls from prison, Schwartzy explaining her dads giving her stomach ulcers, Chip playing with his little league baseball team, and Marcy receiving the 7th book of Moses (which Schwartzy repeatedly objects to, claiming there's only 5) while fighting with her understudy who was taking her place because "Deborah [S. Craig, the regular Marcy actress] hurt her knee".”***
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## Lyrics

### ***[There are no official lyrics to this song, so phrases and words may be misinterpreted.]***

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***On the first day of Christmas***

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> ***[TODD]*** ***My parents gave to me, a dictionary for the spelling bee***
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***On the second day of Christmas***

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> ***LEAF;*** ***My siblings gave to me, 2 rainbow toe socks***
> ***[TODD]*** ***And a dictionary for the spelling bee***
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***On the third day of Christmas***

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> ***[LISA YUEN]*** ***Deborah hurt her knee, so I went on as Marcy***
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> ***LEAF;*** ***2 rainbow toe socks***
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> ***TODD;*** ***And a dictionary for the spelling bee***
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***On the fourth day of Christmas***

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> ***OLIVE;*** ***My dad forgot the tree, why does he forget things?***
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> ***[LISA YUEN]*** ***I went on as Marcy***
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> ***LEAF;*** ***Hey! These are both left feet!***
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> ***TODD;*** ***And a dictionary for the spelling bee***
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***On the fifth day of Christmas***

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> ***BARFÉE;*** ***With my sea anemones, I can’t smell a thing!***
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> ***OLIVE;*** ***…He forgot me at the playground***
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> ***[LISA YUEN]*** ***I went on as Marcy***
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> ***LEAF;*** ***Oh wait, they’re both right feet [YAY!]***
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> ***TODD;*** ***And a dictionary for the spelling bee***
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***On the sixth day of-***

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> ***LOGAINNE;*** ***Hanukkah, my two dads gave to me; my six stomach ulcers***
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> ***BARFÉE;*** ***My shorts have static cling!***
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> ***OLIVE;*** ***…He left me at McDonald’s***
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> ***[LISA YUEN]*** ***I went on as Marcy!***
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> ***LEAF;*** ***Socks, I name you Phil***
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> ***TODD;*** ***And a dictionary for the spelling bee***
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***On the seventh day of Christmas***

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> ***MARCY;*** ***My lord savior gave to me, the Seventh Book of Moses!***
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> ***LOGAINNE;*** ***Six stomach ulcers***
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> ***BARFÉE;*** ***In my face, my tie and ching!***
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> ***OLIVE;*** ***…He left me at the dentist***
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> ***[LISA YUEN & DEBORAH]*** ***I went on as Marcy- Actually I’m okay..***
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> ***LEAF;*** ***Phil, I hope you like me..***
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> ***TODD;*** ***And a dictionary for the spelling bee!***
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***On the eighth day of Christmas***

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> ***PANCH;*** ***My school-board tested pee, mine was laced with Ritalin***
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> ***MARCY;*** ***Seventh book of Moses!***
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> ***[LOGAINNE;*** ***Wait- there’s only five??]***
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> ***BARFÉE;*** ***I pick, then I swing!***
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> ***OLIVE;*** ***…He left me at the medscape***
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> ***[LISA & DEBORAH]*** ***I went on as Marcy- I said I’m fine!***
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> ***LEAF;*** ***Mom, can Phil have ham?***
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> ***TODD;*** ***And a dictionary for the spelling bee!***
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***On the ninth day of Christmas***

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> ***MITCH;*** ***My warden gave to me, nine conjugal visits***
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> ***PANCH;*** ***Pee laced with Ritalin-***
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> ***MARCY;*** ***Jesus es mi salvador!***
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> ***LOGAINNE;*** ***Can we not being religion into this?!***
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> ***COMPANY;*** ***Chinese Food at Ming’s!***
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> ***OLIVE;*** ***…He left me at the dog track..***
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> ***[LISA + DEBORAH]*** ***GET OUT OF COSTUME!***
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> ***LEAF;*** ***-But Phil’s hungry!***
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> ***TODD;*** ***And a dictionary for the spelling bee!***
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***On the tenth day of Christmas***

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> ***RONA;*** ***Ted broke up with me, another lonely Christmas..***
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> ***MITCH;*** ***Rhonda, hey. It’s Mitch-***
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> ***PANCH;*** ***I have a niacin disorder-***
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> ***MARCY;*** ***Jesus, are you listening?***
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> ***LOGAINNE;*** ***Religious rights won’t listen!***
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> ***BARFÉE;*** ***Tushies in a sling!***
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> ***OLIVE;*** ***…He forgets to feed me dinner-***
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> ***[LISA & DEBORAH]*** ***YOU WANNA BRING IT- YEAH! BRING IT ON!***
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> ***LEAF;*** ***Phil I won’t let you starve.***
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> ***TODD;*** ***And a dictionary for the spelling bee!***
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***On the eleventh day of Christmas***

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> ***CHIP;*** ***My mailman brought to me, eleven barely league notes..***
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> ***RONA;*** ***Who gets dumped on Christmas?!***
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> ***MITCH;*** ***Mitch from Putnam Detention Center-***
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> ***PANCH;*** ***Niacin, it’s in fruit!***
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> ***MARCY;*** ***Are you there Jesus? It’s me Marcy!***
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> ***LOGAINNE;*** ***I can’t believe the libs are being compromised!?***
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> ***BARFÉE;*** ***A fly on Pegasus’ wings!***
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> ***OLIVE;*** ***…He left me with child services***
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> ***[LISA + DEBORAH]*** ***PUT DOWN- PUT DOWN THE TIE!!!***
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> ***LEAF;*** ***Phil, ew! Ham farts..***
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> ***TODD;*** ***And a dictionary for the spelling bee!***
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***On the twelfth day of Christmas***

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> ***[RONA + UNKNOWN]*** ***We called inquity..***
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> ***COMPANY:*** ***Better health insurance!!***
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> ***CHIP;*** ***Mom! Close the door! [Oh my god..]***
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> ***RONA;*** ***Panch isn’t so mad-***
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> ***MITCH;*** ***I’m at 32005-***
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> ***COMPANY***
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> ***[screaming & talking over each other]***
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> ***[inaudible]***
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> ***BARFÉE;*** ***WAIT!! …. I just smelled something!***
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> ***OLIVE;*** ***…Mama-mama-mama!***
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> ***MITCH;*** ***I went on as Marcy-***
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> ***LEAF;*** ***Next to her for undies-***
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> ***TODD;*** ***And better presents than a dictionary!***
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