The Name of Greed

*“Disclaimer!”*This article contains **HEAVILY-EDITED** machine translation. Please do not take it as an exact or official translation.

*This is a story about Tsugino's past**.*

*Content Warnings: gore, murder, mistreatment of a corpse, piercing ears, knife*

##### (Author Note)

* The Tsugino Piercing Episode
* It's kind of gross.
* There may be parts that don't meet the main story, but I hope you can go through them.

*I've always been hungry for something.*

I think I know myself pretty well. I know myself well enough to know that I am nothing; empty.

My "outside" was a way for me to live and play the role of the "outside": good grades, kind, smiling… yes, the "outside." This was the only way I could survive—a way to be accepted by my parents. The more I acted, the more the boundaries of the "outside" faded away, and now I don't recognize them anymore. Since I was only acting, I was just a fake without any substance.

But don't you think it's okay to be without substance? No one can see the inside of another person. People in this world will only look at the outside of me and evaluate me. That's why I only have a thick skin on the outside. It doesn't matter if I have nothing inside. As long as I can live with it… as long as I'm not ignored, anything is fine.

Sometimes, though, I feel like throwing away the "outside." When that happens, I have no choice but to go to an empty place. On days when there are no club activities, I sneak off to a secluded corner of the library and read a book. I take off the "outside" and reaffirm my identity. Even though I can no longer see the border between the two, the inside of me is still the same. Something that is nothing can't have something. I put the book to the side and meditate for a moment.

Maybe it's because my nature is to be empty, but I've always been hungry for something. I don't even know what I'm hungry for, but I'm running desperately through my empty nature and searching for something in the dark. It was a true "hunger," a sense of urgency to find something quickly—plus the hope that if I did, it would reveal something of my true nature.

I could hear myself screaming in the dark, "There must be something in me, even though I have nothing," but I can't find it, and my screams reverberate in the darkness. I'm as empty as a cave.

"Hey, you're in my way!"

The shouting wakes me up a bit. I stumbled a little when I was pushed hard.

There was a short boy with brown dyed hair and a slightly glazed look in his eyes.

"S-Sorry…"

"I always use that place to sleep! Get out of my way."

At the boy's urging, I quietly got up from my seat. I wanted to stay like this for a while longer, but…

*(Ah...)*

I saw something glittering in the ear of the boy who sat on the chair as if to take it.

It was an earring.

It was black and round, and it was sitting quietly in the boy's crass ear. The round sphere, worn as a single point, was too mature or somehow didn't suit the boy.

"........What is it?"

The boy's almond-shaped eyes glared at me, and his annoyed voice made me panic, so I quickly left the place.

I don't know why, but my heart was pounding a little.

*I've always been hungry for something.*

"You're still here today?"

Since the test was coming soon, the club activities were closed today. I was sitting in the back of the library, not studying, when the boy who had been bothering me the other day came in.

"Yeah, no one can find me here."

I usually don’t say those sorts of things because I have a thick exterior, but maybe it's because of where we were. The untrue words came out in a flash.

"...What? Why's that?"

"I mean, this place is hard to find, isn't it?"

“...What, you actually want to skip school too, honors student?”

Since there was only one chair, the boy leaned towards the desk where I was sitting.

"You're surprisingly unserious."

"...You didn’t know?"

I chuckled. The boy was a little puzzled, but I couldn't give him a good smile like I usually do (and for some reason I didn't have the energy to do so), so I raised the corner of my mouth a little and smiled like it didn't matter.

The boy was still confused, but after a few seconds, he smiled slightly.

“You... you can make that kind of face.”

...After that, I don't know why, but the boy started to like me. The boy didn't form groups, instead seeming to be a lone wolf who acted like a delinquent. He would tell me stories of how he had defeated men who had tried to get in his way, or how he had beaten a shoplifter to a pulp... such unimportant sagas. Every time I come here after school, I don't know why, but... He talked to me.

When I prepared the outside for him, he didn't like it and wouldn't talk to me.

*He said, "You're fine just the way you are." That’s what he told me.*

...This me... unpretentious me. What the hell is that? These words echoed in the cave inside me. The "me" without any decoration is nothing; empty. He's so strange that he actually likes such an empty thing, I thought.

But for some reason, I felt... well, I don't know how to put it.

It made me happy.

The stud on his ear, piercing his flesh. I was looking at the black earring that was modestly sitting there.

*I’ve always been hungry for something.*

"You're always looking at my piercings, aren't you?"

"Huh?"

The boy suddenly brought it up, as if it had just occurred to him.

I didn't think he knew I was looking at them. I was surprised.

"Yeah, I'm going to have my other ear pierced too. I bought a piercer. Do you want to put it on?"

"Eh… eh? Is that......... okay?"

I knew that I was attracted to the piercing on the boy's ear. If what was on his ear was on mine.... Maybe, just maybe, I would be fulfilled, just a little. That's what I thought.

"Sure, I'll put it on."

His hand went to my ear. He took off the cover of the piercer that was attached as a safety precaution, exposing the tip of the needle that would now pierce my earlobe.

I don't know why, but I couldn't take my eyes off the tip of the needle. My heart was beating, and my motivation was getting worse.

It's not that I'm afraid, but… what is this feeling of exhilaration?

"What, are you freaking out?"

I'm about to be stabbed in the earlobe by this boy.

"Hey, Tsugino?"

I'm going to be stabbed, penetrated, and punctured.

“Here we go.”

Yes, by his hand.

A crunch.

A tingling sensation flashed past my ears, then quickly slipped away.

"......What? Is it over already?"

I touch my ear. I felt something penetrate my earlobe, though I couldn't see it.

"It doesn't hurt much, does it? I was scared when you froze."

The boy smiled smugly. In his hand, he was holding the piercer that had just pierced me.

*I've always been hungry for something.*

On the futon, I touched my earlobe. There is a distinct feeling of discomfort in my hand that was not there yesterday.

*He gouged the flesh out of my ear…*

As I touch it, my heart starts to pound and I squirm back under the covers.

*I was penetrated and punctured.*

I desperately close my eyes. If I keep touching my ear, I won't be able to sleep. I have to go to bed... and I have to go to school in the morning...

I… I fantasize. I fantasize about gouging out his ears.

*I've always been hungry for something.*

"Hey, Tsugino, could you pierce my ears too?"

We were at the usual library. How could I refuse a request from a young boy like that?

"It's a pain in the ass when people find out about it, so come to my house."

I nodded my head. My fantasy was coming true. I was already starting to get excited. I wondered why I felt so excited when I saw his piercing.

Thinking about this, I followed him.

His house was about 15 minutes away from the school, a two-story house with his room on the second floor. When I entered his room, I was surprised to see how clean and tidy it was. He came across as someone who'd have lots of decorations, but he didn't seem to like them very much.

"Here you go, Tsugino. Get on with it."

He handed me a piercer from the same maker as the other day. When he gave it to me, my hand trembled and shook. It's partly because I'm nervous, but I think it's actually because I'm excited.

"Hey, hey, are you okay? Don't make the mistake of rubbing your face."

"Y-Yes…"

I fearfully put the tip of the knife to his ear.

Now, I'm going to gouge his ear with my own hand. If I push my hand in deep enough, I can easily make a hole. So easily.

*At that moment, I remembered something. No, remembered is not the right word.*

*That's when I was "filled."*

When I woke up, I was in a bloodbath.

The floor of the room was stained red, his head was cracked, his stomach was split open, his arms were severed, and he was lying on the floor as a nameless corpse.

*I'm going to resist.*

These words echoed through my mind. Unable to grasp the situation, I stared at his corpse in a daze. A brown-haired boy with a blue-blue complexion was getting wet from the spreading stains.

In the midst of all this, I saw something shiny.

"Ah!"

I picked it up.

*It's a piercer.*

The moment I saw it, I remembered.

*As soon as I pushed the piercer in, he closed his eyes. He was opening up a hole in my ear and gouging my flesh, yet I closed my eyes defenselessly.*

I felt a formless desire flowing from the depths of my soul like a dam with its gates open. My heart, which I had thought to be an empty cave, a desire that I had been led to believe could not be suppressed filled me.

*I want to kill him.* That's what I thought.

It's not that I find him difficult. It's not that I hate him.

*I like him. That's why I want to kill him.*

I reached for the kitchen knife I had hidden.

"...Fufufu… haha..."

A laugh escaped from the back of my throat. I was so happy, so happy, I couldn't help it.

He gouged my ear without hesitation, and I accepted it. He accepted what I did, even if it was only for a moment. He was defenseless even though I was going to gouge his flesh. I was so happy that I wanted to run out and run around the city right now.

Why am I so happy? I don't know what it is that fills me with desire. I don't know.

The blood flowing from the silent corpse soaks my hands. While dipping my hand into the sea of blood, I put my hand inside his split belly.

It's warm.

I can't help but love him for not rejecting my hand. I kissed him on the mouth.

"Fufu..."

I brought the piercer, which I had been unable to pierce his ears with, closer to my ear.

A dull pain resonated pleasantly in my now-filled ear piercing.

TL/N: the art below was drawn by the creator after the short story; click on the image to enlarge

Tsugino and "The Yankee"
## References

1. ↑ The original version can be found at zenozenozeno.tumblr.com using the password "usirononatu".