X-Marse in Chimnacia

## Summary

The crew enjoys a well deserved day off for X-Marse. Oh wait. Nope. They are deployed to the sooty planet Chimnacia, where they encounter a hardworking raconteur. Bargie plays the hits and flops. Dar is spared from family drama. Pleck makes it about himself. Who fancies C-53's new voice?

## Plot

Pleck wishes Bargie happy X-Marse, Bargie isn't feeling very into it. Dar is in good spirits because they love a paid work holiday. C-53 has moved his cube to the the electric fireplace. Dar's family gets drunk on X-Marse and fight each other. Bargie puts on the 17th Bargie X-Marse special. The crew gets a call from Nermut. They wish each other a happy X-Marse. Nermut receives a mission, it is customary to send the lowest ranked ambassadorial team on a mission to find the 'true meaning of X-Marse' on Chimnacia. The crew are annoyed to lose their day off. C-53 is indignant when he learns the Pleck has been free handling his cube instead of putting it in its carrying case.

 The crew land on the sooty planet of Chimnacia and meet ART\_DODGA, he asks for spare change. Pleck agrees to give him three Kroon if he will eject his cube. He gets his friend Tiny™ to eject his cube instead, they put C-53's cube in the frame. ART\_DODGA disingenuously promises to not thrown Tiny™'s cube into the river. ART-Dodger wishes them a fresh X-Marse and leaves. They discover that the urchin accent is part of the vocal modulator and that one of the frames legs is shorter than the other, giving C-53 a limp. The vacuum is also clogged, making C-53 cough. Another being greets them and wishes them happy X-Marse, the Crew asks them what they think is the true meaning of X-Marse is. The being introduces themself as Rip Seeso, they clean chimnoids. Everyone on Chimnacia cleans the chimnoids, if they do not the planet would die. There is a Great Beast below that emits soot out of the chimnoids, if they get blocked the Great Beast would choke on its own soot. If the Great Beast dies, so the legends go, the Great Beast would roll over and everyone would fly off. The gravity on Chimnacia is weird, 500 paces from where they are standing is the point at which people may fall off the planet due to lack of gravity. Rip tells them that his job is stressful, there is always the danger of falling into the chimnoids. They have to work twice as hard on X-Marse due to a tradition of pouring AgNeg down the chimnoids on that day. The crew temporarily think that they've found the true meaning of X-Marse but Rip tells them that it is not. Rip tells the crew of their X-Marse traditions. They wake up in the morning, throw open their windows and look for an urchin bot. Rip tells the story of why urchin bots have one short leg; there was a cruel man who lived in the middle of the street and hoarded gravity. People despised him. One X-Marse day, in the middle of the night, he was visited by three spirits of The Space. C-53 kicks Pleck with his long leg to prove that he is not protected by The Space, other urchin droid show up to help beat up Pleck. The urchin bots demand an X-Marse story. They observe ART\_DODGA doing a dance at the river's edge. Rip continues their story, the gravity hoarders name was Ordolono Squeege. The ghosts were Zima Warriors, two good and one bad. The first was Fresh and showed Ordolono Squeege their past. Pleck relates to the story, the others dislike that he's making it all about him. The urchin bots kick him again. The next Zima Warrior, Fresh, made Ordolono Squeege reflect on their present. The next Zima Warrior was Wack, they don't say anything and Ordolono Squeege reads into it. The Zima Warrior points at a dirt pile, slowly the dirt and his corpse float away. Ordolono Squeege wakes up, throws open the window and falls out due to the excess gravity. A robot declares that to be the meaning of X-Marse, it turns out that it is all they can say. The urchins ask for the story of Fartzy the Red Nose Sleezack. In early Chimnacia gifts were delivered by a red and white slug-like creature similar to a diseased Flarn. The creature was the source of all food, he would excrete cubes from a back sack that you could take the top off of and eat the insides. It became a burden for the creature to deliver all the cubes so he asked the Sleezacks to help him. Fartzy had a crippling alcohol problem. C-53 compliments Rip on his X-Marse knowledge. A bot runs up to tell Rip that the Great Beast is rumbling, he has been talking too long and forgot to pour the AgNeg down the chimnoids. The beast chants 'I'm hungry', it has never talked before. They all grab buckets of Agneg and pour them down the nearest chimnoids. It calms the Great Beast down. Rip starts to tell them the true meaning of X-Marse, Pleck interrupts much to the annoyance of the rest of the crew. The true meaning of X-Marse is: to gather with loved ones, reflect on what has changed since last X-Marse, look up at the stars and realise your place in the universe, and hope that the Great Black Beast doesn't turn over and throw everyone off. Basically, survival. Dar agrees wholeheartedly. Pleck thanks Rip for their help and asks one final question: why does the urchin droid frame have one leg shorter than the other? Rip simply answers that it was due to a flaw in the mold.

Hark Tartigast has parachuted onto a small rock in a vast ocean of lava, he reads sponsor copy for 'Spontainanation'.

 Bargie is spending time with her son, she gave him gift cards for X-Marse. He introduces his girlfriend, Brianna the log flume. She is the 18th best log flume in the galaxy, out of 20. Bargie pressures her son to visit his father. They wish each other happy X-Marse and congratulate each other for surviving another one. The crew call Nermut. He's talking to himself, Dar remarks that they love that they can just interrupt whatever Nermut is doing. Nermut is surprised at C-53's frame but is happy that they managed to complete their mission. Nermut opens his door and yells 'Survival' at the work X-Marse party. They complain that they already knew that, they just didn't want to invite him to the party.

## Quotes

"Okay you can listen, just don't kick me anymore." - Pleck

"There but for The Space go I." - Rip Seeso

"C-53: But why does [the lack of gravity] affect the accent?

Urchin bot: I'm not a scientist!"

"Space Fresh us, every one." - C-53 (accessing Tiny™'s residual memories)

## Trivia

* Seeso was an online video streaming service for NBC Universal.
* Pleck carries his woodsaber on missions.
* Sleezacks: Crinedy, Drinedy, Bittle and Mit, Pimple, Scoremax, Windle, Zitz and Fartzy.
* Siny™ is one model before Tiny™.
* The urchin bots have one short leg because of a flaw in the mold.
* Some culture celebrate 12 days of X-Marse with the last being Ascension.

## Credits

### **Voice actors**

C-53 - Jeremy Bent

Pleck Decksetter - Alden Ford

Dar and Brianna the Log Flume - Allie Kokesh

Nermut Bundaloy and Urchin Bot with a Weird Accent - Seth Lind

Bargarean Jade, Broken Urchin Bot, and The Great Beast - Moujan Zolfaghari

ART\_DODGA and Aggressive Urchin Bot - Winston Noel

Rip Seeso - Paul F. Tompkins

### **Production**

Edited - Seth Lind

Recorded - Argot Studios by Paul Ruest

Sound Design and Mix - Shane O'Connell

Music - Brendan Ryan

Additional Music - Shane O'Connell

Opening Crawl Narration - Jeremy Crutchley

Ship Design - Eric Geusz