Gordy Smitch

Gordy Smitch was a Greely High School student, chill guy, and hero of the town of Cumberland who perished on January 6th, 2022 while defending Cumberland from an asteroid on course to smash GHS to smithereens. Gordy had gained notoriety in the week leading up to his demise following an escalating series of incidents in which he was tricked into attending a hoax New Years Eve party, he was the subject of vague rumors on social media claiming he did something really bad, he fought Owen Shepard resulting in the obliteration of the Smitch residence, and finally culminating in his selfless sacrificing of his own life to save Cumberland and also the world. In the days following Gordy's freezing solid in the cold vacuum of space some Cumberland residents expressed doubts about Gordy's existence, since few people remembered interacting with him. In reality, independent fact checkers determined that Gordy was real, but was a chill quiet guy who kept to himself and didn't bother anyone, so not many people knew him. Documents also determined he had been a contestant at the 2018 Knights Pond Survival Challenge, but had to be evacuated on medical grounds following a magnetically-induced testicular torsion incident.

## Notoriety

The events leading up to Gordy Smitch's demise began on December 31, 2021, when hoax messages were posted anonymously on social media claiming a massive party with an open invitation was being thrown at 5 [REDACTED] Drive, in Cumberland. In reality, the address belonged to Mr. Shepard and no party was being planned there. Gordy, looking to be a little less quiet and reserved, planned to attend the party. However when he arrived at the location of the party, there was clearly nothing happening and he uncharacteristically posted an angry message on social media expressing his frustration at being tricked. Following his post, other posts began to appear on anonymous social media site Yikyak making vague claims that Gordy had done something bad and alluding to the hoax party at the [REDACTED] household. As rumors swirled about Gordy's involvement in various fictitious events, and Gordy became known to more people throughout Cumberland County, Gordy became enraged and challenged Owen Shepard to a fight based on the false but reasonable assumption that Mr. Shepard was responsible for the hoax invitation. On January 4th at approximately 7 pm, Owen arrived to Gordy's house in the Cumberland Foreside neighborhood and the two engaged in fisticuffs in the Smitch residence's driveway. As they tangled, the fight made its way into Gordy's abode, where they caused extensive destruction to the house's furnishings. The battle ended in disaster when a slap from Owen Shepard sent Gordy flying through his kitchen stove, resulting in a gas leak. Less than a minute later, the Cumberland police and fire departments became overwhelmed with calls reporting a massive blast on the Foreside. Witnesses reported a loud explosion and a fireball in the sky, and when first responders arrived they found the Smitch residence reduced to little more than a crater. While initially there was believed to be no hope for survivors, Gordy Smitch miraculously survived and emerged from the muddy crater much to the surprise of all present. The rest of the Smitch family, all eight siblings (ages 8-56) and both parents sleeping at the time in the bed they all shared upstairs, were tragically blown to smithereens by the force of the blast. Owen Shepard was somehow able to escape before the explosion, but how Gordy survived while inside the house and directly next to the source of the gas leak is unknown. Gordy was transported to Greely High School to chill out in the gym while he recovered.

On January 5th, Gordy recovered and was treated to a hero's welcome at GHS for miraculously surviving the explosion. After the festivities, he returned to chilling and just hanging out for the rest of the day.

On January 6th at approximately 0600 Eastern, NASA Space Command in Houston, TX spotted an asteroid around 10km in diameter coming out of nowhere right on course to erase Cumberland, North Yarmouth, Falmouth, Yarmouth, parts of Gray, and possibly the entire world. It was too late to use conventional measures to stop it. Across the impact area citizens began to notice the asteroid in the sky and started panicking. When the panic reached GHS, Gordy noticed immediately and leapt into action. Despite being in the middle of showering and still half covered in mud from the explosion, he dashed across town at record speeds and intercepted the rock mere seconds before it would have really caused a big issue. Gordy used all his might to send the space boulder on a course back out into the cosmos, but tragically he was stuck to it and hurtled out of Earth's atmosphere along with it. He used his final phone battery to post a final message:

*"Attention, Cumberland citizens; I, Gordy Smitch have intercepted the massive space meteor on course to smash Greely High School to smithereens. In my noble sacrifice I was hurled into deep space. Phone about to die. I'm sorry I was so reserved and quiet and chill and that's why not many people knew me. Goodbye forever, Gordy out."*

Following Gordy's untimely yet epic demise in outer space, the town of Cumberland erected a monument to ol' Smitchy which was unfortunately immediately destroyed by lightning, so there are no pictures of it. Gordy's legacy lives on in the spirit of all who would also choose to be tossed into the cold vacuum of space to save democracy if they had the strength to do it.

## Theorized Connection to Knights Pond

Fragments of the meteor were later analyzed by pocket-protected scientists, who determined that the asteroid was highly ferrous, or containing lots of iron and therefore susceptible to magnetic fields. It is theorized that it was likely attracted to the Cumberland area by strong magnetic fields projected from Knights Pond. Additionally, on the date of the incident the KPSAT research station at Blueberry Hill detected massive spikes in electromagnetic field activity emanating from beneath the Pond itself, far beyond any recorded values for the Earth's natural magnetic field. As the anomalous structures and phenomena at Knights Pond are theorized to be caused by one or more intelligent entities, there is a possibility that Gordy's sacrifice narrowly foiled a plan by The Power or another entity. Whether this plan would have been malignant or benign in its final result is unknown.