2022 Power Rankings-Week 1

## Introduction

Hey guys. Tough start to the year for me. Had a really busy couple of weeks at work and zero time to myself in the evenings, so I wasn't able to do a full writeup for opening week. I also made the mistake of doing Headhunters first, which sucked up way more time than I had hoped.

Before we begin, it's time to hear from our defending champion: The Stupid Idiots.

   We're going to do a deep dive leading into week 2 with draft analysis, some of our favorite charts, and season predictions for each team. That is, unless Pat's wedding gets in my way. For now, I have to keep the streak alive and give you guys an opening day ranking.

## Opening Day Standings (Minimum Two Games)

Updated through 2021

This year we will test the opening day prowess of some teams. Duck and Mattness sit at the top with 7 week one weeks, but only one will be getting to eight. Same for Pain Train and RIPDab; someone is getting to seven wins.

At the bottom, momma and Paddock are on the two longest losing streaks and have won the fewest opening games. Someone is getting a win, and someone's losing streak continues.

## Week One Power Rankings

### 1. Pain Train

* Draft Day Projection: 11-3
* Commish Offish Projection: 10-4

Top to bottom, this is the roster to beat at the start of 2022. This isn't anyone's first rodeo, so I think we all know nothing ends up as it begins. But on paper, this team looks GOOD. Bonafide studs at both WR spots and both RB spots. Josh Allen looking like the top QB in the NFL sits pretty atop the roster. At TE, Darren BALLER, though there are some questions about his health. The league's hottest kicker (I mean....like, he's on fire...not that he's good looking...But like he is kidna sexy right?). And a top-five defense. It's insane that this team drafted in the same draft as some of these other teams, but when you're able to start with two strong keepers it makes a huge difference.

### 2. The Stupid Idiots

* Draft Day Projections: 8-6
* Commish Offish Projections: 9-5

Yahoo isn't as bullish on this team as I am. The defending champion comes in with a RB group consisting of Kamara, Chubb, and Cook. WR may not be as strong, but the upside cannot be beat. Bateman is primed for a breakout, while Michael Thomas is in position to maybe recapture some old magic. If he doens't work out, there is plenty to look forward to with Drake London on the bench. The biggest question mark is whether Dak Prescott can survive behind one of the NFL's worst offensive lines.

### 3. Ma Ma Momma Said

* Draft Day Projection: 10-4
* Commish Offish Projection: 9-5

Don't panic when Jared loses week one. He always loses week one. Kittle is out, but it's better to be out on opening day than championship Sunday. Momma benefited from the craziest drop I've ever seen in the LOC at quarterback. No way should Mahomes have fallen to him as the 89th overall pick. Momma has one of the deeper benches at RB.

### 4. RIPDab

* Draft Day Projection: 9-5
* Offish Commish Projection: 8-6

Villain Nate is here in 2022 and I love to see it. He made a trade, he was mean to some people. He's got his swagger back. If he wins week one, watch out! Of course, if he loses week one then he'll probably start tanking and pull a Pat for 2023. What am I hoping for? Hard to say. I like Nate. I also like a lot of his players more than mine.

### 5. Duck Punchers

* Draft Day Projection: 6-8
* Commish Offish Projection: 7-7

Duck has the perfect blend of rookie prospects and veteran talent. Young talented players like Najee Harris, Pittman, and Herbert anchor a team that also has some fliers on the bench in Pierce and Walker. A team that can hang while their rookies get in the zone for the late season push is a very hard team to beat.

### 6. Sweet Dee

* Draft Day Projection: 11-3
* Commish Offish Projection: 7-7

We've been here before. Last season Papa had the 3rd-best draft, according to FantasyPros. He missed playoffs. Middling teams stay middling. However, last year Sweet Dee finished 5-9 after a 5-9 projection, so maybe Yahoo knows better than me? Hard to say. Getting AJ Dillon in a trade from RIPDab as a keeper was a big get because it should have allowed Dee to focus less on RB in early rounds, but the WR group that she ended up with isn't exactly jaw-dropping. Allen Robinson is already up to his old tricks by not being good, and Dawson Knox was pretty shitty Thursday night (granted it was a game that didn't require a ton of moving the chains).

### 7. Paddock 9

* Draft Day Projection: 6-8
* Commish Offish Projection: 6-8

   This draft was Pat's to lose. He is a notoriously shitty drafter, but he had so many early picks. The team that he should have been able to amass, along with Diggs and Pitts as his keepers, should have blown everybody away. But the roster that he ended up with doesn't inspire much confidence. It's clear that with a surplus, he felt comfortable reaching for some players and taking risks on others. Well, the first couple risks didn't pay off in week one. Cam Fakers was a nothing-burger and JB Dobbins is inactive. The man of a thousand moves will have a retooled roster by season's end, and we cannot expect to see any sort of tank regardless of his W/L in September.

### 8. The Multiverse of Mattness

* Draft Day Projection: 0-14
* Commish Offish Projection: 6-8

Mattness went off his fucking rocker in this draft. He drafted as if ADP had never been invented. He passed on Kelce, who he shit on all off-season, in favor of Mark Andrews. He took a rookie RB with his second round pick. He took seven rookies overall. He has a gone on his IR who was shot in the butt. He is running a two tight-end, all-upside, no fluff, good vibes only, could be good but we're not sure yet offense. It's fun, exciting, and possibly the dumbest draft he's ever had. One thing is for certain: If Alvin Kamara has a good year, trading his keeper rights and choosing to go with Waddle for Keeper2 might be the biggest mistake in the history of this franchise.

### 9. Papa's Posse

* Draft Day Projection: 6-8
* Commish Offish Projection: 5-9

This draft started off so sexy, but then as soon as the big players went off the board it seemed like Papa reverted back to taking players he knew. JuJu, that's a name I recognize, fuck it! The Tom Brady keep might have been the most logical option of the players on that team, but after seeing how the draft went with QBs it turned out to be a huge swing and miss. Papa would have been better off not having two keepers. Weak keepers and lack of knowledge as it pertains to rookie and sleeper players are the two factors contributing to the constant middle-of-the-packism of the Posse. I really hope this is the year that changes, potentially through trades or riskier movement.

### 10. The Shotti Bunch

* Draft Day Projection: 3-11
* Commish Offish Projection: 4-10

I couldn't believe this draft as I was watching it. I thought maybe I was being pranked. Barkley in the first round made my jaw drop. DK "decoy" Metcalf in the third? In that offense, with that QB? Still, there is some bite to this roster. It's a 10-team league, every team has bite. Brown, Deebo, and Cooks is a great WR trio. Lamar is playing in a contract year, so that's good news. I'm just a little confused by it all.

## Never Tell Me the Odds!

Yahoo projections are a joke, right? They see your draft and they tell you the future. But teams change. Injuries. Trades. Add/drops. Start/sits. Projections are not reality. But how often has Yahoo's Draft Day Projections been...close? For example, let's just pick a random number: five. Five is a good cut off. Five wins and you're headed to the loser's bracket. How many times did Yahoo project a team to go 5-8 or WORSE? Of those teams, how many defied the odds and made the playoffs? I'm glad you asked.

After 2019 Paddock 9 won the championship with a draft day projection of 0-13, Stupid Idiots won it all in 2021 after a 3-11 starting projection. This is good news for Commish, who is projected to go 0-14 to kick off 2022.

## Single Season Win/Loss Records

In total, there have been 112 full seasons in the LoC. In 2011, 12 teams played 13 regular season games. Since then, there have been nine more full 13-game seasons played with ten teams in each, and the first 14-team season last year.

## All-Time Regular Season Win/Loss Records

Below are the all-time regular season records for every franchise in the history of the league, including defunct teams. Records are updated through the 2021 season. There have been 144 regular season weeks since the league's inception in 2011.

## Matchup of the Week

Paddock 9 vs. Ma ma momma said. Two teams that have historically struggled in week one, also constant trade partners, also friends.

## Conclusion

Last year, somehow, I was able to pump out power rankings on my honeymoon. With each passing year it seems I get busier and busier, but we'll get back on track in week two. See everyone then.