Blood 40

**Chapter 40**

Chapter 40 brings us back to Hypocrite, who is hard at work being tortured by Cannibal Granny. They have a conversation which I shall summarize thusly:

Cannibal Granny: “You stole my youth!”
Hypocrite: “It was your own fault.”
Cannibal Granny: “Okay, I'll torture you now.”

Gripping stuff.

Creepy Little Girl decides she doesn't want to participate in the torture, although Terry Goodkind's writing depicts her as less a traumatized adolescent and more an alien girl-bot observing a quaint human ritual. A choice sample:

*“[Creepy Little Girl] coolly considered the old woman. 'Just because you're older than me, that doesn't make you right. I'll watch no longer. I'm going outside.' “*

We whiplash over to Zedd, who is using magic to make himself light enough for Gratch to carry him. He's been doing this for days, is exhausted, and his magic is almost used up. They're almost to Wizards' Keep when Gratch's eyes start glowing green and he starts growling. Zedd, unlike Richard, does *not* assume this means Gratch saw a rabbit.

Gratch and Zedd land on a rampart, and suddenly they're attacked by Misters! Dozens of them! The Misters have apparently been chilling out on this random rampart just in case any zany wizards or flying Sasquatches happened by.

The Misters *“let out clicking hisses as they lunged at the great fur beast.”* What's a fur beast? Is it like a Furby?

Gratch claws the bejeezus out of a bunch of Misters and Zedd, who a moment ago was so weak he didn't think he'd be able to stand, throws fire and hardened air at the Misters, killing several. He notes that most of them are ignoring him in their efforts to attack Gratch.

A door opens . . . somewhere . . . just as all the Misters dogpile on Gratch and take the whole mass of fur and scales over the edge. Zedd gets shoved aside and hits his head, blacking out.

And now we're back with Hypocrite, who is still being tortured. Creepy Little Girl drags something into the room, which turns out to be an unconscious Zedd. Cannibal Granny says that she'll have to kill him as well, which Creepy Little Girl objects to in a rather half-hearted manner before leaving.

Cannibal Granny goes to kill Hypocrite, but suddenly, Nathan stabs her in the back with his sword. Where Nathan came from, how he got in, why he arrived at just that moment, and why neither Cannibal Granny nor Creepy Little Girl noticed him, are all excellent questions which will never be answered. \~/

Nathan, clearly suffering from serious Stockholm syndrome, offers to heal Hypocrite, but she insists that he help her put a collar on Zedd first. This done, Creepy Little Girl comes wandering back in to ask if Cannibal Granny is dead, with all the gravitas you might use to ask if your roommate drank the last soda. Informed that, yes, her grandmother, her only family (except for her worthless, welfare-mooch father, who will never be mentioned again), her source of security, comfort and protection in a harsh world, has been brutally murdered – for that matter, *seeing her grandmother's bloody corpse lying on the floor before her* – she cries. No, wait. She emits saline fluid from her tear ducts, and with almost as much emotion as this sentence.

Saints above, but Terry Goodkind cannot write emotion. \~/\~/ This is about the most clinical, detached description of a child who is *supposed* to be wracked with grief that I have ever read in my life. The kids from *Village of the Damned* wish they were half as dispassionate.

Hypocrite asks Creepy Little Girl if she wants to see Nathan heal her – specifically, heal the injuries left by her grandmother's brutal torture – and Creepy Little Girl of course says yes. Hypocrite then offers Creepy Little Girl the opportunity to come away with *the woman her grandmother nearly tortured to death and* **the man who killed her.**Creepy Little Girl smiles and accepts.

\~/\~/

Alien girl-bot. Only explanation.

Anyway, Nathan starts healing Hypocrite and we move on.

Drinks: 5

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