Moon Unit

## BEGIN PROFILE:

*SUBJECT MOON UNIT is a hundred-acre plot of land in the state of [REDACTED] resembling a pastiche of lunar surface. Atmospheric conditions are toxic to humans, both due to the unique mixture of noble gas compounds and carcinogenic "regolith", and non-conventional means of audio and visual recording are required due to the same.*

*Location appears to not replicate a specific known area of lunar surface; but to serve as a pastiche of notable features. Gravitational conditions appear lowered to lunar levels within the layers of pseudo-regolith. Testing shows the pseudo-regolith has unusual gravitational properties notably similar to "Cavorite". Further investigation is pending.*

*Multiple inhabitants have been suggested by secondary evidence, but the singular substantially-documented species has been codenamed MOONDROPS. These entities appear to be amorphous masses of tissue capable of altering their physical morphology, superficially similar to "slime molds" with accelerated metabolic operations.*

*The MOONDROPS appear to be filter-feeders akin to the "bubbler crab", with reduced  gravitational irregularities temporarily observed in pseudo-regolith consumed and subsequently regurgitated as "Moon Clods". Movement l of biological tissues beyond Subject appears to cause immediate and rapid cell death. Genetic material has been noted as identical to that of multiple processed meat products; in particular those used in Missions [REDACTED]. Further research is pending.*

*There are replicas of modules and items utilized by publicly recorded Apollo missions, containing hardware with superficial similarities to that utilized in these missions. On further inspection, such hardware contains multiple anomalies; including [REDACTED]. Classification as Subjects is pending. Moondrops have been observed "piloting" these vehicles, though sapience of the Moondrop clade is currently unknown.*

*NOTE: To dispel spurious rumors, this was NOT the site of any sort of hoaxed or falsified lunar landing. Subject's origin can be traced back to the year of 1978, well after publicly recorded Apollo landings ended, and numerous lunar-based Subjects in our observation are directly connected to Apollo missions, including TOO MANY SPIDERS and MOONCALF CHEESE.*

*Subject's origin is unknown, though previous space was occupied by a landfill, purchased seven months previously to the discovery of Subject by a local nightclub owner. Few documents prior to his disappearance survive, but plans appear to have been made for a "Moon Park," with multiple mentions of "investors" and direct appeals to such on later pages of the "pitch" (Still missing).*

## Author Commentary

Another one I made the design for before writing it! Tho I kinda came up with it as I went along, because I thought the idea of "What if a place exactly like the lunar surface but smack dab in the middle of Earth" was funny.

Though, that is also why I had to clarify that; no; they did not fake the Moon Landing using that. Because that'd be cliche, and also cut off the possibility for actual shit the Apollo missions found. Tho, I will admit "They didn't go to the Moon, they just found a fake one here and filmed people there" does have a certain Dril Shitpost-type appeal...

As with all my G.U.F.F. stuff, this is free to use as you see fit under a CC-BY 4.0 license so long as I; Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as their creator!

And, if you wanna support me, maybe check out my Patreon, or even just send a Ko-Fi my way! Every penny is appreciated, and I am eternally grateful for those who donate!

Or, if you wanna commission me for a pic like this, my commission info is thisaway!