240: Does The Mutually Match the Exclusive?

## Summary

Hilula tries to convince the group to let her go, but Will is resolutely against that. Knowing that Hilula is telling the truth about the Beartoggle serial killer, but also that Raphina is innocent (thanks to Batthwack's *Zone of Truth*), they ultimately decide it's too dangerous for her to travel alone and Gwen promises to protect her from Will, who would still prefer to deal with this "loose end" by any means necessary. They make their way back to the river, where they are surprised to see the lizards splashing downriver towards them, ridden by a short, mysterious figure.

## Synopsis

Will, having been asked by Raphina if it would be possible for him to make himself look like her, steps out of the shadows and briefly alters his appearance. This attempt to prove that magic can be used to make people look like other people is somewhat undermined when Will has a brief panic attack. *"Look! Raphina's face, Will's voice, weird shit! Look how weird this is! I couldn't do this three weeks ago! What the fuck is going on with my life?! I'm standing in the middle of a dark fucking place with fire all around, there's probably a dragon guys, A DRAGON!!"* Gwen tries to salvage things and says this proves that the serial killer Hilula witnessed could have been a doppelganger, or even a clockwork person. Raphina asks *"Have you seen me kill anyone since we met?"* but Will adds flames to the fire, adding that they killed Crumplemeyer only a couple of days ago. Hilula says that the last time she witnessed Raphina killing was around three or four weeks ago in Beartoggle where she shot a boy right through the eye.

Meanwhile, Will tries to find any evidence of the dragon AGAIN, and when satisfied it's definitely not still there, he looks for a shelter to ~~cower~~ hide from the dragon in case it returns. Raphina recommends getting into tiny huts, and using them as hamster balls to roll all the way to Beartoggle. Will sees a hut, and sees the one right next to it is just completely destroyed.

Hilula tries to convince the group to free her, however Will replies *"Yeah but I can disguise us, if we kill you there's no. loose. end. to. deal. with."* Batthwack and Gwen step in to protect to Hilula, who aren't willing to let anyone hurt her.

Mo, confused by all this, wants clarification, and so asks Raphina whether she does kill people, but Raphina denies that, which prompts Mo to ask "Why not?" Raphina says she prefers to drink twig tea and raft on the Beartoggle. Mo doesn't think these activities collide and uses a phrase with several big words, and checks with everyone if he used it the right way.

Gwen attempts to convince Hilula that she's safer with the party seen as how there is a dragon flying around burning everywhere. Despite that, Hilula seems set on leaving and taking her chances with the dragon. Gwen says *"No one is going to kill anyone or hurt anyone anymore."* *"That's right"* adds Raphina. *"Asterisk"* whispers Batthwack (Eric suggests that in such a document, the footnotes are far larger than the main text).

Clearly feeling like she's out of options, Raphina suggests turning herself in, in order to make sense of things. Will's disgusted, but Raphina feels that if she handed herself in, it would mean the other Raphina would have to stop murdering and that would solve that problem. Will realises this would mean more work for him as they'd have would break her out of jail, and even if Raphina was in prison it wouldn't necessarily stop the other Raphina. *"There is no 'Other Raphina'!"* retaliates Hilula. Will points out all he has seen: ghosts, vampires, zombies and nothing is always what it seems. Hilula comes back with *"You've not seen the cruelty and the destruction that a single person can cause."*

Hilula tells the group of how Raphina was part of the community in Beartoggle for years, but suddenly snapped and then the murders began. Will thinks it's a case of mistaken identity, or someone stole her identity. Gwen recalls how Ricardo Ulysses had a construct made to look just like him, and considers the possibility of such a thing. Hilula, finding it hard to even contemplate the possibility, says she still couldn't understand why a true, good version of Raphina would align with the likes of Batthwack, Will and Mo.

Gwen says *"Actually Hilula, I had somebody good, that I* definitely would believe*, tell me that, although they don't seem it, they are all agents of good."* Will unhelpfully adds *"...and that was Roomcreamer the fake unicorn."* Hilula takes the initiative, saying that Will agrees with her that Raphina wouldn't associate with the group, prompting him to say *"Get the fuck out of here!"* and Hilula gladly accepts. Will has to explain it's just a turn of phrase, annoyed that she is just being so literal. This charges up Will once more on wanting to kill Hilula.

Batthwack says *"This world is bent. There's something wrong with this place. I feel like we need to get out of here, but I don't know where the door is."* The conversation slides once again into a back and forth of *"You're a killer,"* *"No I'm not"* for a moment, before Raphina chimes in saying she wishes that she had some eggs and that she misses the Beartoggle River. She wonders about time travel; maybe it just hasn't happened yet. Hilula is asked when it started happening and it all seems to line up to when everyone entered Barovia.

Batthwack wonders if they may be on *"another sheet of the universe somehow"*, and how this makes him worry about all the differences between this world and Barovia. He is worried about whether they have control over anything now, even themselves. Gwen recounts how much has changed recently and Will goes quiet. She continues, mentioning all the things she's been learning lately, like the fact that gnomes exist. Will points out that Gwen's sharing an experience with the old guy in Norton that Dew talked to, and how he remembered there being gnomes around but at the same time knowing he'd never seen any gnomes. And this phenomenon appeared to be effecting Selenia too; she remembered Tivoli when no-one else had heard of it.

Batthwack tries to make sense of what is going on, and decides that they must be travelling between worlds and it's changing them somehow. Gwen agrees, she didn't know gnomes before and now she does. She didn't know Tivoli before, and she does. She also says she's never heard of the dam in Beartoggle, but now she remembers it. *"I don't know what I know anymore guys."*

Will is convinced it's something to do with the depraved gods. Batthwack suggests they could use some help from the non-depraved variety. Will suddenly spots Batthwack's new hair and points out that he doesn't necessarily know the difference between the good ones and the bad ones.

The *Zone of Truth* spell wears off and Will finally emerges from the shadows. In a dramatic symbolic act, Raphina breaks her crossbow across her leg, hoping to relieve Hilula by showing that she now has no instrument with which to harm her. It doesn't seem to have helped that much. *"What, so I'm not supposed to be afraid of you now?"* says Hilula. The party then wonder about finding somewhere to rest as the day is getting late.

Hilula asks whether they're going to let her leave or drag her along. Raphina points out that they are at least aligned in both wanting justice, but Hilula doesn't feel safe amongst the group, especially with Will threatening to kill her *BY ACCIDENT*. Gwen tries to bring peace by saying *"I'm not letting anyone hurt or kill anyone here. Nobody is hurting anyone. Nobody is killing anyone. We're all together in one big happy family."* Batthwack tries to make her feel protected by letting Hilula keep her axe. Will just states that it's pointless trying to get Hilula to trust the group. He just wants to tie up this "loose end", at the very least, make sure Hilula can't leave the group.

Gwen promises to protect Hilula, who says that Gwen is the only one she trusts. Hilula says it's probably a few days to Beartoggle, but that they'll have trouble making the journey, informing them that the lizards are gone. An argument ensues when Hilula tries messing with Will and accuses him of killing the lizards, and Raphina questions Will on the case. He's offended that he should even have to defend himself, and tells everyone that Hilula said the dragon scared the lizards, making them run. Hilula admits her lie, but says it's pretty telling that they would believe her, even if only for a moment. Gwen again tries to reassure Hilula that she'll look after her, saying *"I know you are safe with me. Nobody here is going to kill you. I will not let that happen. I cannot let that happen."* *"Yeah, until you rage maybe"* *"Well, then don't make me mad"* Gwen replies, dead-pan, before quickly back-tracking and adopting a more comforting tone.

Raphina suggests using her *Tiny Hut* as a raft, wondering if it may be inflatable. She then offers to sew a raft together out of a sod hut roof or something. The group isn't convinced about the sea-worthiness of such a vessel. They decide to head up to the water's edge and find shelter for the night there.

In the meantime, Will takes out a piece of gary leaf and eating it, goes to talk to the mourning umlaut. He asks if they're certain it was a dragon that attacked, making up a story about being dragon-hunters. The umlaut is positive it was a dragon attack, which leads to some intriguing new information: the dragon spat out some sort of explosive goop when attacking. The umlaut tells Will that the group had offered to take them to the next settlement downriver. Before leaving for the waterside, Will also gives the town a search, hoping to stumble across anything of value, but only really finding gary leaves in a big 2-foot tall clay pot. Everything else has been totally destroyed. The umlaut says Will can keep them if he likes; the umlauts downriver will have their own crop. They explain the gary leaves allow whoever eats them to talk or understand any language. Full of disappointment, but dragging the pot of gary leaves with him anyway, Will heads down to the beach where the rest of the group are.

As Will arrives at the waterfront, he and Batthwack notice the sound of distant splashing upstream. Looking into the darkness in that direction, Batthwack is also able to make out the silhouette of the lizards coming towards them, along with someone short riding on their backs.

## Quotes

* Everyone creatively together: Denise/Gwen: *"I didn't know what a Tivoli was, but I kinda know what a Tivoli is now,"* Eric: *"It has ricotta cheese in it, right?"* Denise: *"And a red sauce,"* Abby: *"And orange zest"* KT (channelling Raphina): *"Plus a pine needle on top!"* Alex: *"The pine needle is vertical."* Eric: *"And its not a garnish, you have to eat it."* KT: *"First, too!"*
* Eric: *"I was hoping the at home Covid tests would be like a BuzzFeed test or something. I pick avocado, string cheese, chocolate cake. You don't have covid!"*
* Eric: *"Michelle Tanner is my Petronus."*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Mo. After Raphina says she prefers rafting to killing, Mo says *"I mean, those do not sound mutually exclusive. Did I use phrase right?"* Upon confirmation, Raphina suggests they should teach Batthwack these words, however Will doesn't believe Batthwack would know what he's saying. And then Mo/Eric exclaims that the other day Batthwack said *"Does the mutually match the exclusive?"*
* Oh my god no (Pheonix here), Eric talks about how he sees Batthwack trying all the different hairstyles now he has hair. but that is literally my life, is trying all sorts of whacky hairstyles.
* Eric mentions "Raphino" when Batthwack is discussing the *Other Raphina*. See episode 155: Raphino, Lady of Death.
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: incomparable. It was previously described as incomparable in the episode description for Episode 237.

## References

1. ↑ Abby talks about how Raphina has a very unsecure password ("11111"), so really it's quite possible someone stole her identity.
2. ↑ See episode 216: Roomcreamer
3. ↑ See episode 96: Fart Stain - or, Raphina Breaks the Game
4. ↑ See episode 176: Will's Never Met a Trout OR a God
5. ↑ See episode 211: Disco is Dead, Batthwack!