Battle of Freeman City

Nutrisystem warriors on the outskirts of the city with a Heavy OPRAH Gun.

### Belligerents

Caliph Mohammed Dedede Min 'Ard Al'ahlam (Dreamland), CEO Zaplarys Xeniachordaniampastaveruje (Nutrisystem), President Morgan Freeman (Freeman Republic)

### Location

Freeman City, Freeman Republic, Gabulon IV

The Battle of Freeman City was a large military engagement that took place on May 16th, 1748 (Nutrisystem Calendar) in Freeman City on Gabulon IV. Zaplarys Xeniachordaniampastaveruje, CEO of Nutrisystem, fought against the vastly outnumbered army of Caliph Dedede of Dreamland along with his 4,000 children. The Freeman Republic provided assistance later in the battle, ultimately turning the tide. The battle resulted in a decisive victory for Islam and the Freeman Republic that caused the massive and brutal slaughter and retreat of the Nutrisystem Army.

## Prelude

The Caliph Dedede had been on Nutrisystem to improve his life. But after he refused to pay his taxes and money owed to Nutrisystem, Xeniachordaniampastaveruje prepared a massive army of 100,000 Nutrisystem Shake Warriors to enforce his demands upon Dedede. Fearing the worst for him and his children, Dedede gathered all the weapons and supplies he and his offspring could carry and set off to seek refuge in the neutral Freeman City, capital of the Freeman Republic. They set out on May 12th, 1748 (Nutrisystem Calendar).

Meanwhile, Xeniachordaniampastaveruje arrived at Dedede's now vacant palace and found a note saying: "HAHA! Left for Freeman City loser! TEE HEE!" Zaplarys determined this was a note of Dedede's. Enraged and offended, Zaplarys began marching his army non-stop for 2 days to reach Freeman City. Dedede began making defensive lines in the city at around 6:00 PM on the 15th, the day he arrived in the city. Zaplarys also arrived that day, at around 8:30 PM, and began preparing a swift offensive to take out Dedede's small rebellion. Morgan Freeman, President of the Freeman Republic, looked on i in fear with the citizens of the city. Freeman also began preparing, but for a Nutrisystem assault on the city instead.

## The Battle

At 6:34 AM sharp the next morning, the anniversary of Zaplarys' gamer mother's death, the Nutrisystem charge began. Dedede, though, was ready and deployed his endless fat cannons lined with Grease, Arsenic, and Hydrogen Sulfide. President Freeman sounded the alarm, believing the city was under attack, and began firing Penguins from the battery of the city. Zaplarys' army was successfully repelled with the combined force of the Freemans and Dedede. Dedede prepared a telegram and sent to the president, pleading for his aid. After much thought, Freeman agreed at around 1:00 PM that afternoon, just as Dedede's lines began to crack under the immense pressure of 100,000 Hardened Warriors. Zaplarys then made a grave mistake. He attempted to fire on some low flying Freeman fighter albatrosses, but instead fired on his own troops 47 times. The sheer power of his Heavy OPRAH Gun killed about 92% of his forces. The army of Freemans then led a valiant charge into the Nutrisystem lines, as Dedede mustered his children and led them personally to fight. Xeniachordaniampastaveruje, realizing the battle was lost, retreated with only 3,000 Warriors left as the other 5,000 or so soldiers left were slaughtered mercilessly.

* Flight of CEO Zaplarys back to Nutrisystem
* Creation of the Bingo Players
* Death of CEO Zaplarys Xeniachordaniampastaveruje of Nutrisystem
* Murder of the Nutrisystem Royal Family
* Coronation of Caliph Mohammed Dedede as King Nutrisystem

Caliphate of Dreamland
 Commanders and Leaders
* President Morgan Freeman
* Sexy Yoda
* Senor Benjamin
Nutrisystem
* Zaplarys Xeniachordaniampastaveruje
* Harold Katz
* Dawn Zier

## The Aftermath

Xeniachordaniampastaveruje's army was gone after the battle. As he prepared for a siege by the Freeman Republic and Dedede, those nations then formed an alliance which lives to this day. The alliance, known as the Bingo Players, was also beginning to ready it's army for a siege.

But, fate intervened. On June 7th of the same year, a mere 21 days after the battle, Ckirbee #34 savagely assassinated Zaplarys. Nutrisystem surrendered, and Dedede took over Nutrisystem after being coronated on the 10th of July, by the Evil Pope's Mother. Nutrisystem from then on became a junior partner in a personal union led by Caliph Dedede, with Dreamland acting as the senior partner.