Peter Clement Exclusive Interview

The **Peter Clement Exclusive Interview** was a limited-time interactive event and series of promotional videos released for *Not For Broadcast*.

## Description

The Peter Clement Exclusive Interview was an event held from August 8 2023 to November 14 2023, as a promotion for the upcoming Not For Broadcast: Bits of Your Life DLC. Between August 8 and August 11, players of Not For Broadcast could submit questions on a Google Form for the chance of their submissions being answered in an 'exclusive interview' with Peter Clement, which would be released at a later date. From November 10 2023 to November 14 2023, the interview's answered submissions were released in a series of clips by NotGames on their social media sites.

In-universe, the event is considered as canon-adjacent, and being comprised of two separate interviews that take place at points in time around Day -49: Bits of Your Life and Day 412: An End Of An Era.

## Clips

### Video 1

#### Question 1

Anita: So, Prime Minister, PinkuAeris asks: 'Normally, I'd ask about tea or coffee, but for the great Peter Clement, I'll ask: favourite alcohol?'

Peter Clement: Okay'n'ere, child. What was his name? Pinku...

Anita: PinkuAeris!

Peter Clement: PinkuAeris! Well, PinkuAeris: Bishop Tipley's Lightly Poisonous - one; Irkistani Special Reserve - two; and a pint of old Badgerbasher.

#### Question 2

Anita: Kenneth would like to know: you're locked in a room, with a tie clip, three bees, and a slightly-elevated sense of self-esteem. What do you do?

Peter Clement: Well, I would question the life decisions that led me to this weirdly-suspicious dilemma!

(Peter Clement chuckles)

#### Question 3

Anita: Alfie would like to know: whose better: Jeremy Donaldson or Megan Wolfe?

Peter Clement: Ooh, Alfie! Well, Donaldson is a terrier, yapping at your heels. Megan Wolfe is the best in show business, impeccable.

#### Question 4

Anita: Uh, Lizzie asks: what is your position on how to better regulate the Flard industry?

Peter Clement: Ahh, Lizzie, at last... A serious question. Well:

(Text appears on-screen showing 'How to better regulate the Flard industry - a tutorial')

Peter Clement: I would lower the maximum viscosity of the flardulizing agent, and limit the flardulated polymer to no more than 85%. That should prevent any more of the terrible industrial accidents we've been encountering. Also, we could just ban them and bring back Werbs! Although, any politician who banned Flards would lose the next election, by a landslide...

#### Question 5

Anita: PinkuAeris asks: after being on a TV show regarding fixing things, does Petey use those skills and ideas as a much older man?

Peter Clement: Well, PinkuAeris... I like to think that where I used to fix the cabinets, now I fix the country! And believe me, the cabinets were easier.

#### Question 6

Anita: Question from Chuu: for how long did you work with Graham Bannon, and what were your first impressions of him before working with him? Also, considering he suddenly disappeared, how do you feel about that knowing that you've worked with him for awhile?

Peter Clement: Ah, Chuu...

(Official subtitles note that no pun was intended)

Peter Clement: I wasn't surprised when he disappeared. Graham made a lot of enemies. A LOT. Mainly due to his personality and his morality, or lack thereof... And his awful, AWFUL, moustache...

#### Question 7

Anita: Question from Gloria: how is your health going? You know, since you drink a lot.

(Peter Clement turns his head to the side, and text appears on-screen saying 'Excuse me???')

Anita: Also, unrelated question too, but what was your favourite thing you crafted on Just The Job?

Peter Clement: Gloria, you cheeky cow! I'll have you know I drink exactly the right amount!

(An image of an estimated 400 bottles of alcohol is shown on-screen, with text stating it to be the 'right amount')

Peter Clement: On your unrelated matter, the best thing I built was this-

(Peter Clement gestures behind himself)

Peter Clement: -very unit you see here! Which I still use to this day... Solid workmanship.

#### Question 8

Anita: A question from Lizzie: who do you think uses more foul language on television: you or Jordan Rankly?

Peter Clement: Mm... Well that prick can fuck right off!

### Video 2

#### Question 1

Anita: Autumn asks: 'Hey bestie! What would you be doing instead if Advance had not won the election?'

Peter Clement: Oooh, well... I would be sitting on a San Palmarino beach with Mrs C, enjoying an early retirement.

#### Question 2

Anita: Lizzie asks: if you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?

Peter Clement: Well, Lizzie, if I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead... I think I would like to sit down with the late great Isambard Kingdom Brunel and discuss how to build bridges.

(Peter Clement puts his hands together)

Peter Clement: Especially between people.

#### Question 3

Anita: A question from Lobstergawn: if Peter Clement was trapped on an island, what would he take?

Peter Clement: Lobstergawn... Mrs C, obviously.

#### Question 4

Anita: Lizzie asks: how many times have you won Sportsboard?

Peter Clement: Fuckloads, that's whats's so brilliant about it!

#### Question 5

Anita: Question from Danny: why did you call yourselves Advance?

Peter Clement: Oh, Danny, we called ourself Advance because we want to get the country out of the rut it's been in for the last 100 years, and start moving forward again, together - with no man left standing behind, as we used to say in Konislava.

#### Question 6

Anita: Uh, we've got a question here from someone who people call Lox, L-O-X, like the smoked salmon!

(Peter Clement nods his head approvingly)

Anita: Uh, Lox says: 'Hey Peter! First of all, I really, really love your show! I learnt all sorts of carpentry magic from it alone. I have just one question for you, since you can fix anything and everything: do you know how to fix my marriage? My wife and I have been arguing about things and I wanted to clear something up with her. She says I'm too addicted to your show, and haven't even talked to my family since I started watching it, which is rubbish, if you ask me'.

(Peter Clement sits up in his seat)

Peter Clement: Well, Lox, what I would do is: turn off the telly, talk to your wife, turn to her, tell her how much she means to you, and apologize for putting a foolish old man like me before the fine woman that loves you. Talk to your family, Lox. They're the only one you're gonna get.

#### Question 7

Anita: Question here from Darren: how much of Bob Boseman's ass did you have to kiss to get yourself all over Channel One? Just The Job was a sham, and Petey was an excuse for you to sit around and get drunk on national television. You're a talentless hack... Go over to Channel Five and fill someone's leaky pipes over there.

(The camera slowly zooms in on Peter's face)

Peter Clement: And you're a cheeky little fucker who could keep his opinions to himself, Darren! As me old mam used to say: 'if you haven't got anything nice to say, you're probably a bit of a cu-'

Anita: Thank you, Prime Minister!

### Video 3

#### Question 1

Anita: A question here from Zombie Ghost: how do you juggle having such a captivating personality and being able to run the entire nation?

Peter Clement: Well... Ha, I also juggle the needs of Julia Salisbury and Mrs. C! Compared to that, running the country is a doddle.

#### Question 2

Anita: Question here from Mark: what has all your time in the television industry taught you about running a country?

Peter Clement: Well, Mark... There are millions of different people. But deep down they all want the same thing: not to be lied to. The general public can smell a liar at a hundred paces.

(Text appears on-screen, clarifying the measurement as being roughly 122 meters)

Peter Clement: That's why they're so disillusioned with politics! And that's why we won by a landslide. I have many, MANY flaws. Just ask Mrs C. But lying, that's not one of 'em...

#### Question 3

Anita: Question from Nichole: what's your opinion on capitalism? Do you believe it's a sustainable system?

Peter Clement: Well, Anita, and Nichole... It's a deeply unfair system, where only those who have money stand ANY chance of escaping their lives for summat better. The clue's in the name: no capital, no chance. And that ain't right.

#### Question 4

Anita: A question here from Foucault: sure, you may have a potty mouth, but what is your favourite swear word of them all?

Peter Clement: Well, Foucault, OBVIOUSLY, my favourite word is fuck. Because it can be used in multiple linguistic manners. For instance:

* As a noun: "that fucker is a stupid fuck";
* As a verb: "you really fucked it up";
* As an adverb: "I'm fucking done";
* Adjective: "he's a fucking idiot";
* Preposition: "fuck if I knew";
* Interjection: "am I fucking awesome?";
* Infix: "abso-fucking-lutely";
* Interrogative: "how the fuck would I know?";
* Intensifier: "a fuckload of good that does".

Peter Clement: There you go...

### Video 4

#### Question 1

Anita: Alright, Prime Minister, we have a question from Kelvinn Williams, who would like to know: what's your past connections with Julia Salisbury? Like, how did you meet, and what made you decide to run for Prime Minister?

Peter Clement: Well, Kelvinn... You can find that out when you watch 'Bits Of Your Life'!

#### Question 2

Anita: Alright! Well, Braydon would like to know: do you know whose editing the broadcast?

Peter Clement: Well, Braydon... Like I said just now, you can find that out when you watch 'Bits Of Your Life'!

(Anita laughs)

#### Question 3

Anita: Eh, Super04 asks: how did you meet Julia Salisbury?

Peter Clement: Super4, ehm, you can find that out...when you watch 'Bits Of Your Life'!

#### Question 4

Anita: Um, N-Nicole also asks: how did you and Julia meet?

(Peter Clement smacks his lips)

Peter Clement: Nicole! WELL... You can find that out when you watch 'BITS. OF. YOUR. LIFE.'.

#### Question 5

Anita: W-well, a-a different question, from, uh, Zariel: how did you- how do you know Ivan Vodovich?

Peter Clement: Ah, Zariel, for fucks sake. You can find that out when you watch 'BITS. OF. YOUR. LIFE.'.

#### Question 6

Anita: Alright... Uh-uh, Judas would like to know, uh: 'Prime Minister Peter Clement, I am very glad about how far you've come!'

Peter Clement: Thank you.

Anita: 'You've been successful in your shows, and, perhaps, successful in love as well! On that note, I'd like to ask: how did you meet Mrs C?'

(Peter Clement taps his hand on his knee vigorously. Text shown on-screen counts down towards a 'mental breakdown')

Peter Clement: Watch... 'Bits Of Your FUCKING LIFE'!

(Anita whimpers)

#### Question 7

Anita: Uhm, ah-uh-uh, j-just, just a few more now, Prime Minister. Uh-uh, T-Typically Thomas would like to know: who was your co-host on Just The Job?

Peter Clement: Typically Thomas...

(Text appears on-screen saying that 'I know this one')

Peter Clement: Fucking typical... WATCH 'BITS OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE'!

#### Question 8

Anita: Alright, one more from Typically Thomas, uh: what did you do after Just The Job?

Peter Clement: WATCH 'BITS OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE'!

#### Question 9

Anita: Ehm, Caps asks: what was your old mam like?!

Peter Clement: Ah, for FUCKS SAKE! JUST BUY THE FUCKING PROGRAM! WATCH 'BITS OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE'! Fuck me...

(Peter Clement pauses)

Peter Clement: Any more?

Anita: No, t-that's it. Thank you, thank you Prime Minister.

Peter Clement: Thank you...

### Video 5

#### Question 1

Anita: Thefungang123 says: 'Well hi there, Mr Peter Clement! It's an honor to be asking a question to you, especially seeing how you went from a TV host to a Prime Minister, and that's very cool! What would you say is the most insane thing that has happened to you in your life? More specifically, from your classic TV host times. Thank you, and hope you answer!'

Peter Clement: Is that fangon- fungang123?

Anita: Fungang123!

Peter Clement Fungang123, well... I remember the time that Dom- Dorothy Hammerman and I played 'Who can say the worst thing to a policeman', after a...particularly heavy night at the Bull and Bollock. Little Jimmy Chizzle had to come and bail us out, at half past 4 in the morning. He was furious...

#### Question 2

Anita: Super04 asks: what was the reason behind the production of 'Just The Job'? Why did you want to make this kind of program?

(Peter Clement scratches his head)

Peter Clement: Oh, Super04... when a young, aspiring producer called Bob Boseman came and asked me whether I'd like to be interested in doing a TV show, and what type it would be. I told him all I knew was woodwork and and stage management... And he said: no one would watch a show called 'Reading a Book in the Dark in the Wings', so we went with the woodwork, and the rest...is history.

#### Question 3

Anita: Alex asks: what is one positive thing you can say about both parties you ran against?

Peter Clement: Hmm... Alex, well... One positive thing? Err...

(Peter Clement sighs)

Peter Clement: They both have nice, neat hair? And nice, neat soundbites?

#### Question 4

Anita: Question from PinkuAeris: 'Have you tried reconciling with old friends after the ending of your show? I'm sure there is someone who would love to see you again!'

Peter Clement: PinkuAeris, yeah... My family matters are private, and I don't like to talk about it, but: yes... Let's say things are...coming back together. Slowly...

#### Question 5

Anita: Uh, question, Prime Minister, from Aisling West. They ask: what's the meaning behind 'One finger for the North, two fingers for the South', and what have you got against Southerners anyway?

(Peter Clement laughs)

Peter Clement: It's one finger of whiskey - a toast to the North - and two fingers in protest aimed at those elites in the South. It's a bastardization of a very popular toast from Rothering, where I grew up.

## Trivia

* Question 2 from Interview Video 1, submitted by Typically Thomas, is a reference to the Kickstarter Avoidance Album from ~~NotGTAV~~ NotTheNameWeWanted. More specifically, Track 17, known as 'Prime Minister's Kenneth Time', where Kenneth asks David Cameron the same question. Unlike Peter Clement, however, David Cameron does not answer.