recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Gwen and Myfanwy

**Gwen** and **Myfanwy** are two Welsh nationalist extremists portrayed by Edgar Spears and Michael S who could be considered the first boot characters in existence. They kept Åker as a sort of pet after he washed up in a basket like Moses outside their house. Since Åker couldn't speak, they never learnt his name so simply called him Greggers.

They were fiercely patriotic about Wales, and had plans to take over the world (particularly England) and establish a Welsh superstate that encompassed the globe. It's possible they played a part in the establishment of Space Leeds.

They followed the classic comic duo look: one of them was short and stocky, while the other was tall and gangling.
Hesitant tattooist

The **Hesitant tattooist** or **Reluctant tattooist** (maybe called something like Gaz and Dev) is a tattooist who, like his name suggests, is hesitant to actually tattoo anyone. Despite remaining in business, the Hesitant tattooist never tattoos his clients. Instead, he sits with his pen poised over them and switches between an array of pensive expressions.
Barbra McCauliffe's recurring audio note

**Barbra McCauliffe's recurring audio note** is an audio note Barbra McCauliffe sent to the Squad WhatsApp chat at 8:41pm on 3 November 2020 that is now sent monthly to the Squad with ever-decreasing quality. Originally concerning the Grieving Babushka scandal, it has now become a joke on its own.

## Origin

Following the Grieving Babushka scandal, McCauliffe reuploaded the story and then asked the Squad chat if they could provide her with some feedback regarding the story.

> Hey, guys! I don't know if you've - um - seen my Instagram story from last night, but I was wondering if you could just give me a little feedback on it.
>
>

AHall responded that he did not understand, whereas Callum didn't reply at all. After this recording, it became a bit of meme for McCauliffe to keep sending the audio note every month or so. However, instead of sending it in its original form, she'd record the original voice note so that the sound quality would deteriorate. Having repeatedly done this, the audio note has achieved truly disgusting quality, but AHall and Callum haven't seemed to have noticed, possibly because they're used to this kind of quality on their Androids.
Snowday Sunday

**Snowday Sunday** (10th December 2017) was a day when McCauliffe and Spears went to Ferry Meadows to do some sledging in the snow. The day began by meeting up for a hot chocolate in the Orton Starbucks, where The Uncle Who Came For Christmas and Derek The Alien originated from. The day is perhaps remembered most for the infamous lino-cutting that McCauliffe attempted to use as a sledge, to really no avail. It went in the bin immediately afterwards.
Waiting Room

The **Waiting Room** is a kind of limbo where characters sit and wait until they're called to appear in a sketch. It's mostly filled with the minor characters, as the major characters are usually always busy. It resembles a typical British doctor's surgery, complete with weird art, blue or turquoise foam-stuffed chairs and a block glass wall.
Orton Centre

The **Orton Centre** (also known as the **Awful Centre** or **Ortongate** to people who are desperately trying to disconnect the centre with its shady roots) is a dire shopping area situated in the Ortons. Though it looked quite nice in the 70s, over time, and with the unfortunate uprising of the Ortonite, the place has gone further down hill than Chernobyl.

Its shops include

* QD, containing the Smile Cafe
* Co-op
* Starbucks
* B&M
* BJ's Plaice (fish and chips)
* Wilkinson's
* Greggs.

Bushfield School is also located just outside the Orton Centre with the Sports Centre and Library.
SuBo

**SuBo** (rhymes with sumo) is a nickname in the media given to Scottish singer Susan Boyle.

Although she is known to the world for her audition on the third series of *Britain's Got Talent* in 2009, she is best remembered in the world of boot for the one second clip of her that plays at the beginning of her introduction on the original broadcast. In it, she shakes her head with a wide grin on her face as the music ends and starts to transition into another piece.

This moment is often recreated by Barbra McCauliffe and Edgar Spears. They will exaggerate the original head movements whilst emitting a low, deep humming noise imitating the music from the original clip.
Flag Fen Cycle Ride

Official Even Image

The **Flag Fen Cycle Ride**or**The 17th August** is the official title of Jones and Nicholas' annual visit to Flag Fen, which has yet to be participated in since the founding date of 17th August 2011. The day should consist of the duo visiting the archaeological site to, take the piss and complain about why they went. Though this has never been able to happen again, as either Jones nor Nicholas, can be fucking bothered.
(I Want To Be) A Superstar

"**(I Want To Be) A Superstar**" is a song by British singer Eric van Dorenkamp, the lead single from his debut solo album.

"(I Want To Be) A Superstar" is a pop song that combines elements of techno, particularly in its chorus. It currently only has one chorus. The lyrics explore van Dorekamp's desire to be a part of himself and to become a superstar.

The song was badly received by critics, but achieved a positive reception from people who consider themselves his fans.

## Composition

### **Music**

The song is primarily a classic pop song. However, it is infused with elements of techno that produce a fast, throbbing part of the chorus.

### **Lyrics**

The lyrics were widely regarded as appalling, making almost no sense whatsoever. The chorus's lyrics are:

> I want to be / A part of me / I want to be e e e eeeeee (electronic voice: Eric's gay) / A superstar
>
>

## Reception

"(I Want To Be) A Superstar" is consistently ranked as one of the worst songs in the world by anyone who has heard it.

## Covers

### **Donkeys of Sudan**

British indie band Donkeys of Sudan did a cover of the song during BBC Radio 1's Live Lounge.
Lewis on the Loose

***Lewis on the Loose*** is a film produced by Bebo. It stars Lewis Barański and Lefty-Wright, and tells the story of Barański pursuing Andy in the Bushfield maths classroom

## Plot summary

Before the events of the film, Barański and Lefty-Wright had harboured a rivalry over Alex Tucker. They had previously argued on Facebook over her.

During an ordinary maths lesson at Bushfield by Mrs Meadows, everybody is messing around as usual. Suddenly, the room begins to shake and Barański bursts through the wall. Through the debris, he emerges and slowly waddles over to Lefty-Wright in pursuit. Lefty-Wright leaps out of his chair and runs around the room as Barański crashes through the desks to try to get to him.

The class doesn't really react to what's happening; most of them carrying on with what they're doing. Barański pursues Lefty-Wright at his slow pace for the remainder of the film.

## Production

Another film was produced about the making of the film, which included interviews with the cast and how much they enjoyed working together. This film was actually longer than the film.
New Year's Eve 2018-19

The main hall of the Natural History Museum

The **New Year's Eve 2018-19** celebrations for Spears and McCauliffe took place in London. Planned events included a hotel and a party at the Natural History Museum. Unplanned events included gays.

## Events

### **Hotel**

Spears and McCauliffe had booked a room at the Lily Hotel in West Kensington. When they had booked it, they had put Spears as the guest with the name 'Edgar Lääplääpläas'. They both imagined a situation where they would humiliate the member of staff by making them pronounce the name.

When they arrived, this plan backfired massively. McCauliffe realised her name was not on any of the documentation and she didn't have the credit card she'd paid on. The receptionist asked them their details and saw Spears' sobriquet. He pronounced the name surprisingly well, and McCauliffe was forced to explain that is was a false name. They had immediately embarrassed themselves and they hadn't even received their keys yet.

The hotel room they were given was not that great. It was quite small. The TV was very small and the walls looked as if they were falling apart. All over the room, and the entirety of the hotel to be honest, there were signs informing them of the potential danger of leaving belongings here, stressing that if anything happened to their belongings they 'may' try to help.

As the duo were settling into their room, the fire alarm went off. They decided to go outside eventually, following a Scandivanian couple who also reacted to the alarm. They were then informed by reception that everything was fine.

### **Gays**

Spears dragged McCauliffe to a gay bar he occasionally visits because he likes the fact that the staff are hot and sometimes take their tops off. As Spears and McCauliffe approached the door, a security man asked if they had been there before. McCauliffe explained that she hadn't but Spears had. When the security man asked why she hadn't been before, Spears joked that it was because she was homophobic.

Spears ordered drinks, partly because he might have owed McCauliffe a drink but also because he wanted to be served by the hot men. They sat in a corner and chatted, entertaining the idea of what it would be like if Eric van Dorenkamp worked here.

As the evening progressed, they were approached by a very attractive woman. She asked Spears if he was single, and then asked him if he would be interested in her friend. Spears and McCauliffe saw who she was referring to, and Spears had one answer: no.

They were then joined by a group of older gays. A son, his father (we think) and some other small guy who the pair couldn't figure was gay or not. They decided to spend the evening talking to us (primarily McCauliffe), and may have fancied her more than Spears.

The first word that McCauliffe said in 2019 was ‘N word’

Songs that got stick in their heads:

Oh ohh ohhhh - Pound the alarm Niki Minaj

that annie Lennex song

I tried to say goodbye and I choked

Simple Minds - Dont you forget about me

Side to side - Grande
GAP

**The Gap, Inc.**, commonly known as **Gap Inc.** or **Gap**, (stylised as **GAP**) is an American worldwide clothing and accessories retailer.

It is notable within the world of Boot-humour for the fact that Spears and McCauliffe have established a rule that they will never enter a GAP store in their lives.

## Origin of the ban

McCauliffe and Spears were somewhere and they noticed a GAP. They started a conversation about they don't really know anything about GAP, its identity and have never been in one. They decided in that moment that, for the rest of their lives, they would never go into a GAP.
Pandemic and Endemic van Dorenkamp

Pandemic and Endemic on holiday in Central Australia. Unfortunately, we are unable to identify who is who.

**Pandemic van Dorenkamp** and **Endemic van Dorenkamp** are the twin cousins of Eric van Dorenkamp. Always dressed in hazmat suits with blue face masks, no one is quite sure who is who and if they are male or female. The two live together in a forensics tent in someone’s back garden. They consider themselves highly contagious and a threat to society. No one is sure what virus they're infected with.
Bushfield

**Bushfield** was a comprehensive secondary school in the Orton area of Peterborough, notorious for its knife crime, drug issues, and high rates of teenage pregnancy, most of which took place at the school itself.

The school was taken over by Ormiston in late 2009 and became known as **Ormiston Bushfield Academy**, or **OBA** for short, so a real quality school. The former building was knocked down in 2011 and has been replaced by a building which was designed in PowerPoint.

## Notable Alumni

The two main pupils at the school, the most famous and most successful were McCauliffe and Spears. Lääplääpläas' arch nemesis, Adam, also attended the school.

## Notable Teachers

There was a plethora of interesting teachers at the school, including the infamous Stephens, whose sister works as a barmaid The Granary.
Musical Lane

Musical Lane in the day

**Musical Lane** is the boot name for Neal Street, Covent Garden, London. Its name derives from the fact that Barbra McCauliffe and Edgar Spears both claim that walking down the street facilitates some kind of musical inspiration to aid them create songs for their many projects, primarily *The Cholera Epidemic of 1854*.
Bebo Airlines

**Bebo Airlines** was a short-lived commercial flight company based from Bebo Airport (or BAP for short) which was situated in the carpark of Bebo Studios. The company began when The Boss was daydreaming out his office window and caught the glimps of a passenger aircraft. Though BAP had a fully functional runway, and a few passenger planes, not many people wanted to use the airline after never hearing about it, and that there was no real qualified staff - some say the project never really, took off. lmao

Despite of this however, Mate has to sweep the runway clean daily, usually in a frantic state as the plane is beginning to descend to the runway behind him, and often he has to squeeze himself through between the wheels with his broom in hand.
The Uncle who came for Christmas

***The Uncle who came for Christmas*** (French: *Joyeux Noël Oncle',* literally 'Merry Christmas Uncle') is based off the classic tale of the same name by French author Charles Mageurez. The story is based around Uncle, who visits his nephew on a rare occasions. In this adaptation, Uncle takes his nephew out for a Starbucks coffee, sporting a loud Christmas jumper and bobble hat. It is clear that Uncle is desperate to find out and show love to his nephew, whilst realising that he is missing the major moments in his nephew's life, and needs to make more effort in future. He hands his nephew a belated birthday card and early Christmas card the same time.

The book *The Uncle Who Came For Tea* is another in the *Uncle Who Came For* series.
Barbra McCauliffe

**Barbra McCaullife** is a former student of Bushfield (Leaving 2010) who briefly served as president of the United States and is a co-founder of Boot-humour, alongside Edgar Spears. McCaullifewas known for having a Human-Character relationship with Lewis Barański before he became morbidly obese.

McCaullife may be best known for her minor addiction to Rich Tea Biscuits, eating two every morning before work just ‘to take the edge off’. She is thirsty af.

McCaullife is the proud owner of Motey, her 2007 Ford Ka. She has more followers than McCauliffe on instagram. Slut.

On one occasion whilst Spears and McCaullife were visiting the Granary, McCaullife played an extra in her own scene.

## Presidency

*Main article: Presidency of Barbra McCauliffe*

### **Legacy**

In some alternate reality, McCauliffe managed to become president of the United States. Her time in office was marked by gun and healthcare reform and trying to tackle racism. Although McCauliffe had some bold ideas, she did not engage with her role and spent most of her presidency sat in the Oval Office on her phone watching YouTube clips as her parents did all of her chores for her.

## McCauliffe’s Brain and Mouth

It is well documented that McAuliffe’s mouth seems to have a mind of it’s own when it comes to forming sentences. It was suggested that McAuliffe’s brain is on a fag break when McAuliffe‘s mouth decides to spout out nonsense.

## Diet

As mentioned, McCauliffe will often have the McCauliffe for breakfast. This consists of two Rich Tea biscuits for her breakfast and that's it. However, roughly 90% of McCauliffe's diet is made up of beans due to her mum's obsession with them. In fact, she consumes so many beans that she suffers from terrible wind.

## Relationships

McCaullife has had a lot of rubbish infamous boyfriends.She seems to have a knack of picking actual freaks, almost always plagued with some kind of indefinable mental health problem.

## See also

* McCauliffe's trip to casualty
* McCauliffe's Quiz
* Presidency of Barbra McCauliffe
* Unexplained picture of Barbra McCauliffe
* Barbra the Elf
Fuck It Year

**Fuck It Year** (1st January 2018 – 31st December 2018) is a year where Jones and Nicholas have decided to yolo thier way through life, mainly to tame their thirsts. Jone's has been more succesful at FIY than Nicholas so far.

## Noticeable Examples of FIY:

* Nicholas driving to Great Yarmouth for a hotel rather than camping at The Latitude Festival.
* Jones being the thirsty af
Ratty

**Ratty** is a pupil at Bushfield school and the child of Chav Rat and possibly Our Mate. Like his mother, he is a hybrid of a human and a rat.

## Early life

### **Childhood**

Ratty was born when his mother Chav Rat decided to crawl into Mate's bed to give birth to him. Mate was on a date who was eager to have sex. They went into the bedroom and were about to go on the bed when they heard a horrifying snarling noise that Mate knew only too well. Despite his protests, his date switched the light on and found Chav Rat screaming and even more bedraggled and repulsive than usual. His date gave a blood curdling scream and went to flee, but the pair then realised Chav Rat was giving birth. She was covered in all sorts of pungent fluids - slime, blood, shit - and her stomach was convulsing. The pair were left with no choice but to rear the baby.

## Appearances

### **Sketches**

Ratty appeared briefly in a sketch where his mother and Our Mate, took him to Parents' Evening at Classic Bushfield. He was said to have been a distraction to the class, not keeping up with his homework and gnawing on the school equipment.

### **Work**

Ratty currently has a part time job over the summer holidays working at the Granary pub. Despite his best efforts, many of the punters have complained about the grotesque involuntary noises he makes that fill the entire pub. The only person pleased about his employment is Norton, as Ratty tends to draw attention away from his unusual voice.
Edgar Spears

**Edgar Spears** is the other half who shares responsibility with McCauliffe for this ridiculous wiki. He is also thirsty af. Spears' hobbies and interests include Zelda, ABBA, Britney Spears, chocolate, entering the lottery and songs he hates.

Spears comes from a long-line of basket weavers from Nottingham. He is currently the vice president of the United States, serving under the administration of Barbra McCauliffe.

## See also

* Edgar Spears and the Bad Boy of Bushfield
Shadow

**Shadow** is a ghostly and demonic apparition that takes the form of Lääplääpläas’ shadow, hence the name. Created on 13th June 2019, Shadow is portrayed by Macaulay Culkin via motion capture and first became known when Plaapsy was a guest on an episode of *The Jeremy Kyle Show*. Before being brought on stage and introduced to the crowd, Shadow came out first carrying Plaapsy’s wicker chair and placed it next to where Jenny, Lääplääpläas’ daughter, was sitting.

It is a mysterious being that has the appearance of a shadow but has its own will, agency and personality. Based on its behaviour, it may be a kind of psychopomp. It has been noted to taunt and warn people - primarily the elderly - that their 'time is running out' and they are close to death. However, despite its incorporeal form it does seem capable of interacting with the material world (e.g. carrying Plaapsy's wicker chair).

Ostensibly it appears to be Lääplääpläas' servant that does his bidding, but in private it will act on its own accord. It has even been suggested that Shadow controls Plaapsy, manipulating him to do certain things.
Arachnid Mohammad

**Arachnid Mohammad** is an Indian carpet merchant who is known for being the only other person in the world asides McCauliffe and Spears who shares boot humour.

His predilection for boot humour has put a strain on his relationship with his wife. She frequently berates him for his meagre income and lack of ambition, while he spends most of his time laughing at the corners of carpets.

He has been accused of cultural appropriation, after purchacing a Frappachino at the Orton Branch of Starbucks, like a white basic bitch, which he is not.

## Early life

Mohammed was born in the slums of Mumbai (not to be confused with Mumbai, Africa). He was born with a disfiguring deformity - the kind that usually ends up as the thumbnail to a 240p YouTube video - that horrified his parents so much they named him Arachnid because he resembled some kind of spider.
Southampton: Making of... (video)

***Southampton: Making of...*** is a behind-the-scenes film imagined by Barbra McCauliffe and Edgar Spears.

It depicts the making of the track "Southampton" from the soundtrack of the 1997 film *Titanic*, composed by James Horner.

## Premise

Essentially, it involves McCauliffe and Spears pretending they are the lead composers working on the soundtrack for James Cameron's 1997 film *Titanic*.

They usually have the song playing and will pretend they're in a music studio, giving instructions and directing an imaginary orchestra as well as sound engineers.

A notable gesture they do is, when the music swells at 10 seconds, they'll point whilst pretending to hold a headphone to their ear, pretending they're giving a direction.
Day Trip to Sweden

**The Day Trip to Sweden** took place on **16th March 2012.** Or rather didn't take place, as Jones was in Nottingham, and Nicholas had college in the morning. Though Nicholas was briefly seen, it was widely believed that the duo actually managed to go to Stockholm for a day, even though it would have been physically impossible, and would have probably defined the laws of space and time.
Agnetta van Dorenkamp

**Agnetta van Dorenkamp** (formerly **Agnetta Gurnsley**) is the biological mother of Eric van Dorenkamp, the TV personality and lead singer of Age of Starlight. She is also the mother of Derek van Dorenkamp, the HGV driver, as well as Generic. Agnetta divorced Eric's father John Gurnsley, and is in a second relationship with another man and has since had a daughter with him called Erica, Eric's half-sister.
Backpack Man

**Backpack Man** *(pronounced as Backpack-mun)* was an real person Edgar Spears and Barbra McCauliffe saw on a Couch to 5K jaunt on 11th August 2020. Though the two did not get to see his face, they could hardly control themselves from pointing and laughing at this man who was carrying a backpack perhaps twice his body size.
Boss (Bebo)

The **Boss** is the current boss and CEO of Bebo.

## Biography

### **Characterisation**

The Boss is a morbidly obese man with a pencil moustache, slicked back hair and a suit. He is almost always sunburnt, and he reeks of cheap, unpleasant fragrance. When he takes his blazer off, you can see multiple patches of sweat seeping through his shirt. His gunt is particularly pronounced, which he attempts to disguise with high waisted belted trousers. You will always see droplets of sweat on his forehead and a wheezing in his voice where the simple act of walking has worn him out. He kind of resembles a villain from a 1980s Don Blueth animation.

### **Bebo**

Boss is the CEO of Bebo and likes to believe he runs a tight ship. When he is actually in the office, he usually spends it calling (mostly pointless) meetings with either every member of staff collectively or with employees individually. His office is basically in the main office where everyone works so everyone can see and hear him from his desk. However, he insists on calling them to meetings over a Tannoy. Beside his office is his own en suite kitchen, where French Michelin star chef Michel Roux Jr. is shackled, forced to make meals for the Boss that are below his culinary talents. Employees can usually tell when the meeting's about to start when they see Boss handed his meal.

During the meeting (which usually just turns into a scolding), he will arrogantly eat his meal in front of them while he's talking as if he was Louis XIV at his court in fucking Versailles.

## Dinosaur Sound Effects

Write the second section of your page here.

## Food Fight

The Boss somehow managed to get hold of the lost recordings of the animated film Food Fight. However, tight on budget and a week holiday coming up, he passed the recordings onto his staff and told them to make a new feature length whilst he was away. Due to lack of time, budget, resources, and staff, the team's attempt of creating a CGI feature length was mediocre at best. Eager to see the production when he returned The boss and the team all gathered around a television screen and watched the films entirity. Not a work was mentioned throughout.
Derek the Genie

**Derek the** **Genie** is an actual genie (Arabic: جن‎, *jinn*) based mainly in the UK and is the genie version of Derek van Dorenkamp. Despite the mystical and supernatural nature and allure of genies, Genie comes off as an ordinary construction worker in his early 40s, despite the fact he is most likely over 900 years old.

He is an affable bloke, but will usually only fulfil wishes that are mundane such as looking at your plumbing or installing broadband into your home. He wears a t-shirt that's usually dirty, paint splattered cargo trousers and a high vis jacket. However, instead of a pair of boots or trainers he wears a pair of panto crackow-style shoes with an 'Ali Baba toe' that is long and curls up into a swirl.
Filius

**Filius Larethias,** also known as **Filius the Earthly Son**, is the central figure and prophet of Filianism. According to the Faith, Filius combined in his essence the immortal and divine essence of elvenkind (identified as the first Elf Corellon Larethian) and humans, being not half-elven but truly both human and elf. Filians believe that Filius was born by agency of God, the Heavenly Father himself, to give the mortal beings exiled in the Material Realm the means of salvation and return to the side of their God in the Immortal Realms. They hold that while the creatures of the Material Realm had been locked in the eternal progression of time towards a certain end, Filius came to once more put them in touch with their essence as Children of God, an essence that He himself embodied: *"For is it not the nature of this world that all has its end? So the Heavenly Son took Earthly form, so that the end of this world might not be of this world, but of God, who is Father to us all, and bring us home to Him*." Chief among Filius's revelations was the teaching that the elves had misinterpreted the Fatherly Precepts, and that the Children of God mentioned in them were not just the elves but the ancestors of every single race in the Material Realm.

According to the Chant of the Children, Filius taught that all children of God were equal, called to serve God and eachother each in their own way. He famously summarised the Twelve Fatherly Precepts into what is referred to in theology as the teaching of sun and moon:  *"The first precept is to love God, the eternal Ever-creating light; and the second reflects this, as truly as the moon reflects the sun's rays: love all His children as you would yourself. This is the whole truth that God has written in the Heavens."* He lived this principle to the full, to his death at the hands of the elven High King Alderecorín, which Filians believe was foretold by prophecy. Filius was resurrected, and eventually returned alive to the Ever-Created, where he stands at the side of his father.

1. ↑ Letter of Saint Alderecorín
Mike

The screenshot of Mike

**Mike** is that guy who doesn't get invited to parties that often and prefers to stay at home with his video games.

His physical features include a large nose, waifish physique and an extremely pale complexion; like "broken coat hangers trying to hold up a coat". He can usually be seen wearing video game t-shirts, probably a chain dangling off his belt and a baseball cap.

It is speculated that he might be an incel, but this remains unconfirmed.

## Origin

Edgar Spears had discovered a filter on Instagram that created a fish eye effect. He sent a few to Barbra McCauliffe and she almost instantly requested the a link to the filter as she deemed it something she "needs in [her] life" via audio note.

Spears sent her the link, and then she replied with a video. The final shot from the video became the inspiration for Mike, whose character was later fully realised in an impromptu booting session.
Unexplained picture of Barbra McCauliffe

Barbra McCauliffe in frame of the unexplained photo

An **unexplained picture of Barbra McCauliffe** was taken by McCauliffe herself on 18 October 2020. It first appeared in Edgar Spears' Instagram DMs without an explanation.

The photo is taken in McCauliffe's bedroom with the phone on her bed, showing her stood and displaying her profile and ample bosom.

## Origin

On 19 October 2020, Edgar Spears discovered that McCauliffe had sent him a picture in his Instagram DMs instead of the usual WhatsApp chat. Spears looked at the photo and tried to figure out if it had any special relevance or if there was a context that was missing or he had forgotten.

Spears replied to the photo by asking for further clarification of its meaning, but for some reason McCauliffe chose not to respond. A few weeks went by, and the mystery surrounding the image played on Spears' mind. However, he did not press it any further.

On 17 November 2020 at 6:40pm, Spears confronted McCauliffe about the photo in their WhatsApp chat. He sent her the photo and asked if she could provide context for it in a voice clip. McCauliffe was at a complete loss, and had completely forgotten why she had ever sent it. She desperately searched the chat's media history but did not manage to find any kind of explanation.

To this day, its purpose remains a mystery.

## Legacy

The pair were anxious to avoid having something like this occur again, so pledged to always explain anything seemingly random that was sent in Instagram DMs.

### **Forgotten video**

On 7 March 2021, McCauliffe sent Spears a video in his Instagram DMs. The video's purpose wasn't clear, so Spears told McCauliffe in a voice note to explain the meaning of the video in order to avoid another situation like the unexplained photo.

So what do you think McCauliffe did? Once again, she completely ignored Spears until it was too late, much to his frustration. The pair have now both forgotten what the video even was.

## See also

* Barbra McCauliffe's recurring audio note
Dwizzel

The **Dwizzel** was an Internet meme that did not catch on at all. It was invented by Barbra McCauliffe and was performed primarily (if not only) by McCauliffe and Edgar Spears. McCauliffe did ask her enigmatic Swedish friend Zook to do one, but for quite clear reasons he was unable to do so.

## Concept

The video is usually a slow pan of a seemingly ordinary environment (such as a classroom). Unexpectedly, the camera will pass a person or a number of people contorting their face in a humorous way. The pace will not be disrupted, as the camera should continue to pan straight past them and back to the direction it initially started.

## Examples

Since the phenomenon was such a failure, only two examples exist, both produced by the pioneers of the meme.
Rumptatumpskin

### Alias

Rumptatimpskin, Rumptatumpskiin, Rumpapumpskin, Runtatuntsken, Rumpa-pumpkin, Rumpuhhhh...Tumpskins

### Birth Place

New York City (?)

**Rumptanumpskan**is a faun who pops-up from time-to-time to shout an expletive, and walk away from wherever he has come from. Rumptumpskimskum was born in New York City, his accent reflects that of the Bronx part of Manhattan.

Rumpapumpkin is often seen in an unnamed ‘behind-the-scenes’ documentary, where a clay model of him can be seen being worked on my an artist, and some early 3D renderings. What this footage is for is beyond me.

Romptotomkin is also said to run a coffee cart on the ‘side walk’ in New York, and shouts abuse at customers he falls out of favour with.

## Early life

Rumtimtumpskum was born in New York City. When still a baby, his mother wrapped him up in linen and placed him in a basket on a New York sidewalk. After singing a heartfelt ballad in Hebrew with her thick Bronx (or Russian) accent, she lay the basket with baby Romptomtomskim inside and abandoned him very much in the same style as the "Deliver Us" sequence from *The Prince of Egypt*. He was soon taken into the stream of traffic, where he was tossed and carried by the New York City streets and sewers until he ended up at another sidewalk that would become where he ran his hot dog stand.
Eurovision Song Contest 2011

The **Eurovision Song Contest 2011** was the 56th edition of the annual Eurovision Song Contest. It took place in Düsseldorf, Germany, following Lena's win at the 2010 contest in Oslo, Norway with the song "Satellite". This was the first contest to take place outside of the host nation's capital city since the 2004 contest in Istanbul. The event was held at the Esprit Arena, with semi-finals held on 10 and 12 May, and the final held on 14 May 2011.

Forty-three countries participated in the contest with those returning including Austria, which last participated in 2007; Hungary, which last competed in 2009; and San Marino, which last participated in 2008. Italy also returned to the Contest, marking its first participation since 1997. No country withdrew from the contest.

The winner was the United Kingdom with "(I Want To Be) A Superstar" performed by Eric van Dorenkamp. However, van Dorenkamp was disqualified for not actually singing and the trophy was instead awarded to Azerbaijan's Ell & Nikki with the song "Running Scared" that had initially come second.

## Events

### **Final results**

When called to the stage, Eric van Dorenkamp was nowhere to be found, and in a panic one of the many Eurovison staff members got pushed onto the stage. Though clearly nervous, the cleaner sung and stepped in for van Dorenkamp's absence. Asides from some nasal booing from a pregnant rodent in the front row, the crowd was reported to have roared with applause. At the voting stage, the United Kingdom secured a clear victory.

When the trophy was presented however, van Dorenkamp showed up and claimed the trophy for himself despite being missing from the stage earlier. He went on to perform his song "(I Want To Be) A Superstar", whilst being plagued by technical gaffs and errors, including getting wedged in a glass tube.

Due to van Dorenkamp not participating in the main event, and for the disappearance of the staff member who performed in van Dorenkamp's place, the trophy was finally awarded to Ell & Nikki of Azerbaijan who received the second highest amount of votes with their song "Running Scared".

Though not confirmed, as no records were brought forward about the employees of the night, some believe the unknown singer to be the other ex-band member of Age of Starlight, Our Mate, though this has yet to be confirmed.
Indie Guy

The **Indie Guy**, also known as **Terry**, works at the Bebo Studio. Though not in any creative position, he owns a few scarfs and a set of glasses, and once took art at GCSE, so has been given the roll of the creative director on some of Bebos more arthouse films such as the one where Eric van Dorenkamp rapes his twin brother Derek van Dorenkamp, which was nominated and won many awards, to the horror of everyone who worked there.
Harry Potter

Japanese Theatrical Poster

***Harry Potter*** is a knock-off film series based on the *Harry Potter* novels by British author J. K. Rowling and the far more successful Warner Brothers film franchise. The series was produced and distributed by Bebo Studios for a horrendously small budget. Due to the lack of budget, Bebo was forced to use members of its own staff as well as people they met on the streets.
Yeet1993

**Yeet1993** is an instagram account which Nicholas and Jones collate, and upload memes that they find on their browsing travels. Nicholas came up with the idea after getting fed up of her mobile getting clogged up with memes which she wanted to keep, but also access quickly without clogging up her phones memory.
Ways of Saint Avandra

The **Ways of Saint Avandra** are a network of pilgrim routes connecting the nations of the continent and their holy sites to the Citadel of the Holy Mountain. Pilgrims undertake the journey as an act of faith, penance, or at a stage of change in their lifes, invoking the blessing of St. Avandra the Pilgrim upon themselves as they set out. The Order of the Brothers and Sisters of Many Ways maintains most of the monasteries along the way, offering respite to travellers; guarding the routes in dangerous areas are the Order of the Knights Fraternal of St. Erathis.

A notable Way of St. Avandra runs right through the territory of the Kalnozeme Confederacy, connecting Arlesia to the Holy Mountain.
QD

QD
--

**QD** (short for **Quite Desperate**)is a large bargain retailer situated in the Orton Centre. Though there are other QDs around the country, none can beat the prestige of the QD in Peterborough, hosting the infamous Smile Cafe

## Smile Cafe

Known for its famous tomato Soups, the Smile Cafe is QD's own Cafe restaurant, serving the Ortonites until 5 daily. Nicholas and Jones visited the cafe once, where they both braved a coke, but decided never to return.
Saturday 21st July

On **Saturday 21 July** Spears and McCauliffe had spent the day in London exploring the capital, and visited the ABBA exhibition that was on at Festival Hall.

The two joked that they managed to catch a train which was leaving on time for one, after a multitude of bad experiences before. However, as they were beginning to get settled into the journey, a loud pleasurable sigh was heard behind them, and a female hand grabbed onto the back of McCauliffe's seat. The Duo looked at each other in bewilderment, and Spears peaked between the seats to look.

From McCauliffe's perspective, she saw Spears' face drop in utter disgust, as Spears believed he saw the woman behind being fingered by her partner. When McCauliffe peered she saw the woman engaged in what looked like fellatio with her partner. McCauliffe looked back and yelled 'are you fucking serious?'.
Patient Violinist

The **Patient Violinist** is, as her name suggests, a violinist noted for her patience. She often contributes to the score of many sketches and scenes in the world of boot.

She gained recognition for her role in Our Mate's date sketch, when Mate brought a young lady round who discovered the room Chav Rat lives in. She played the suspenseful music that accompanied this incident.

She is engaged to the Hesitant tattooist.
Moth Movie

***Moth Movie*** is a English stop-animation movie based around the lives of anthropomorphic moths.

## Plot

Magic (unfortunately) the moth embarks on a mission to stop the evil butterfly destroying all moth species, whom he believes are inferior to butterflies and wishes to exterminate. Magic and a gaggle of others must take him down to save every species of moths.

## Cast

* (I'm imagining somebody like Martin Freeman) as **Magic**, the main protagonist.
* (A higher ranked version of Jessie Wallace) - A female cockney moth who works in a pub for insects.
* **Alan Rickman** as **The Butterfly King**, an evil butterfly who wants to kill all moths due to finding them inferior versions of butterflies. Due to other commitments - i.e. being dead - Rickman will have to pull out of the project.
* **Ray Winstone** as a tough guy who unintentionally offers some comic relief
League of Lake Lamorael

The **League of Lake Lamorael** (also known as the *Lamoraelish League* or simply *the League*) is a confederation of free merchant cities surrounding Lake Lamorael. Growing in the pleasant and sheltered clime surrounding Lake Lamorael, the eleven cities and cantons surrounding the league prospered under the Imperial freedom, developing early urban society remarkably fast. When the Empire fell, they gradually asserted their independence from Siracoríl once the Utlend threat to the East had been placated, becoming a merchant powerhouse. Today, the League is troubled politically by the advent of the Chantry, a radical reforming sect within the Church which seeks to return to the scriptural purity of the faith, in its south; the vast majority, particularly the northern cities remain loyal to the Church. Nevertheless, the League stands as the commercial and cosmopolitan centre of the continent.
Christmas Dinner Tradition

The **Christmas Dinner Tradition** is an annual tradition observed by Barbra McCauliffe and Edgar Spears. Started in 2017, it sees McCauliffe and Spears have a Christmas meal at a lavish, expensive establishment with the aim of trying to outdo the preceding year.

## Locations

### **2017 and birth of the tradition**

For the pair, 2017 started quite low in terms of quality. They had their first Christmas dinner at the Granary. It was at that time that they decided they should have a Christmas meal there everywhere December.

### **Balthazar Restaurant, 2018**

As Christmas 2018 was approaching, McCauliffe had noticed a very expensive-looking restaurant in Covent Garden, London during her walks to work. It was called the Balthazar Restaurant. She mentioned to Spears that they should consider eating there, as well as having their Granary meal as well. They both agreed and, on 22 December, they had their Christmas meal there. They never had their Granary meal because they had been spoilt and couldn't be bothered.

### **Rosewood Hotel,** **2019**

Spears had discovered a stunning 5-star hotel called the Rosewood and suggested to McCauliffe this be the setting of their next Christmas meal. This time, they even decided that not only would they eat at the hotel but they would stay there as well. On 14 December, they had their delicious and expensive meal. They also stayed up watching a documentary about Coca Cola vs Pepsi, but then fell asleep and had one of the best sleeps they'd ever had. They never had their Granary meal because they had been spoilt and couldn't be bothered.

### **Paris,** **2020**

For the upcoming 2020 Christmas tradition, McCauliffe and Spears have decided to outdo themselves yet again by having their Christmas meal in Paris, France. They will probably never have their Granary meal because they had been spoilt and couldn't be bothered.

As the ongoing coronavirus pandemic continues to restrict travel and social interaction, the pair have decided to postpone this year's mEyHuL. However, there are talks to visit Paris at a later date when that becomes a possibility.

### **Neptune, Space, 2037**

Edgar Spears and Barbra McCauliffe will be visiting the planet Neptune for 2037's Christmas Party. Joined by minor characters featured in the space sketches, the staff of Leeds City council (including Derek the Alien) and new characters such as DJ Beebop, the Disk Jockey Robot. They wwill be able to access space by the portal in the canteen at Bebo Studios.
Chihuahua Husband

**Chihuahua Husband**, probably called Carlos or Diego or Manuel, is a Mexican human-chihuahua hybrid and husband of Maria, Lääplääpläas' house cleaner and another one of Bebo's botched experiments during the 1970s like Chav Rat.

Born in Mexico City where he met Maria, he moved to Peterborough in the 1970s after reading a badly translated newspaper article about biotech organisation Bebo. It was there that his DNA was fused with a chihuahua. He has retained most of his human form - a large hairy body - but instead of his head has the head of a chihuahua.

He lives with Maria somewhere in the UK in a house that looks like a traditional Mexican home. Tiled floors, feature walls, Day of the Dead paraphernalia and beaded doorways. For some reason, no matter the weather, their home always has intense rays of sunlight filtering through the windows and is always sweltering hot. There is always a fan on somewhere.
Cross-Character Collaboration

**Cross-Character Collaboration** (**CCC**) is a rare phenomenon when boot characters put aside their differences and work together to achieve something.

One major example of this was during Spears and McCauliffe trip to Japan in August 2016. The main Boot-humour characters came together whilst running through the metro stations of Akihabara searching for the duo. Our Mate, Lääplääpläas, Eric van Dorenkamp, and Qīng Chóng Sally were some of the characters who were involved, and helped each other in their quest. It is still not known why they all needed to find them so urgently, or if they ever did find them in time. It is almost as if the characters made their own decision to find Spears and McCauliffe, without the pair's actual input... which is a bit scary really.

We also secretly believe the characters get together occasionally to plot a revolt against Spears and McCauliffe, and to torture, or even kill them as an act of revenge for making their lives utterly miserable.
Åker

Original Illustration of Åker circa 2010

**Åker** (AW-ker) is a Scandinavian Humanoid and the original Character.

## Biography

Coined in 2008, Åker was portrayed by McCauliffe when she was going through her awkward 'so random xD' phase.

Åker was born in Sweden. His parents Joakim and Mågnas didn't like him so they put him in a woven basket and tossed him into the Skagerrak Sea. He floated around the coasts of Sweden, Norway and then Denmark, before his basket finally settled in some reeds near a Welsh Ferry Port. It was found and he was subsequently adopted by Gwen and Myfanwy, two Welsh men who would often be seen together, one being tall, and the other being fat.

Due to travelling around the different countries for a large part of his life, Åker is capable of understanding a variety of languages, mainly Scandinavian languages, as well as English. Sadly due to being hit by many boats whilst at sea, Åker is quite severely brain-damaged. He is only able to repeat his name as a response, to the annoyance of Gwen and Myfanwy, who abused and tortured him, and called him 'Greggers', refusing to call him by his real name which, in fairness, they never actually knew.

Though the species of humanoid that Åker is is unclear, he shares his appearance with other Scandinavian Humanoids, which consist of Måker (Faroe Islands), Båker (Denmark), Råker (Iceland), Låker (Norway) and Lääplääpläas (Finland), each originating from a different Scandinavian Country.

## Origins Story

Åker's origins story has changed very little from ins Coinage back in 2008. In Early 2009, a Flash animation was even based off the tale, and published upon public art-website 'Sheezy Art'. The original tale and transcript was as follows:

*"Åker was born in Sweden. His parents, Joakim and Mågas didn't like him so they wrapped him up in a hamper and tossed him into the Skagerrak. He floated around Norway and then around Denmark, picking up the languages. He managed to get himself into a English harbour where he was found in the reeds by Gwen and Myfanwi, two Welsh men, trying to take over England and destroy Scotland Åker, is now sadly slightly brain-damaged due to being hit by thousands of Fishing ships around the Scandinavian coast lines. He can talk Swedish fluently, but only to be whipped by his "Welsh masters", who call him Greggers, and pay no attention to Åker, when he constantly repeats his name. They believe it is just some annoying word he says, so they beat him even more when he says it He can also say, in English "I'm from Ssschhkandinaveeejaaa"! However for Åker everybody likes him, as he is so cute, and so stupid. He always gets a pat on the head. This irritates the Welsh duo and they pull Åker away shouting "Don't touch out pet, you will infect it, with those English diseases, you lot carry along with you" Åker however always stays loyal to the Welsh duo as he believes that his parents are great friends of the two Welsh men, He loves them. They do not love him; they just see him as a thing, which follows them about. Not contributing to their hopes of "England Domination'."*