313: Raphina is Zippin' Around This Pit

## Summary

With some clever spellcasting, the party scoop all the ball pit balls up into a net, revealing a trap door underneath that sucks them through to a room where they're assaulted by loud music and flashing lights. Rosco, who has been finding this carnival madness increasingly difficult to cope with, actually rather enjoys the sensory deprivation and easily locates the exit leading them to a very tall room which has an odd effect: they're forced to stay in contact with the floor. A bucket with an endless supply of water turns out to be the key, allowing them to fill the room and float to the top, where they find yet another puzzle room consisting of 12 crystals and a series of strange markings.

## Synopsis

With no obvious way out, except the way they came in, Rosco looks gloomy. *"I think we have to go down... through the balls,"* he says ominously. While Rosco sits quietly in the ball pit entrance, the rest of the party brainstorm a plan. Will tries casting *Create Bonfire* to melt a few balls, but the fumes are so noxious that it's quickly abandoned. They begin feeding the balls one at a time into the entrance so that they build up behind Rosco. At a critical moment, Rosco hops out of the way and Will casts *Creation* to produce a net, while Raphina casts *Stone Shape* to pin it in place. With the bottom of the pit now visible, they can see the floor is bowl-shaped with a trapdoor down at it's centre.

Rosco moans at the thought of descending further in this carnival hell-hole. Something strange seems to have come over him. Will conducts a form of exposure therapy, occasionally throwing a coloured ball at Rosco, and he groans softly with each hit. There's nothing for it except to press on, so Batthwack wrenches open the trapdoor, and they're alarmed to find themselves being sucked into the hole before being deposited onto the floor of the room below. It's an immediate assault on the senses; an insane cacophony of loud, obnoxious music blasts their ears and strobe lighting assaults their eyes. The walls, floor and ceiling are all covered in a dizzying black and white checked pattern.

Raphina quickly casts *Tiny Hut* and everyone but Rosco immediately takes shelter inside. Batthwack stumbles into it because the strobe lighting is utterly blinding for him, thanks to his *Robe of Eyes*. Strangely, Rosco actually finds this sensory deprivation a relief from his ball phobia, and he's able to spot a door over on the north wall. He tries the door knob and as soon as the door swings open, the music stops and the flashing lights cut out. A corridor leads onwards, but Will is really losing the enthusiasm to keep going. Are they inside the god itself, destined to just endlessly explore until they're digested? *"Life was already like that on the outside,"* says Rosco not at all encouragingly. Batthwack has a slightly more optimistic thought: *"Everything poops."* *"We are just gonna keep on going and going until we die,"* continues Rosco, a thought that resonates so devastatingly with Will that he actually strides straight over to the door and heads on out. The fact that he actually managed to inspire Will so effectively seems to cheer Rosco up as they all head on down the corridor after him.

   The next room is only about 20 feet square, but has a very, very high ceiling. A door is visible in the north wall, but it's way up at the top with no obvious way to reach it. The only thing in the room is a very ordinary-looking wooden bucket of water. Batthwack is the first to discover that due to some strange property of this room, he cannot jump or otherwise get both feet off the floor at the same time. They investigate the bucket, Batthwack dipping each of his feet inside to no avail. He finds he *can* get his feet off the ground if he lies on his back. It's at this moment that Will also discovers that they can't leave the room, so it seems that the only way is up. Batthwack lies on his back and cycles his legs around, Raphina gingerly dips her pinky into the water and tastes it, and Rosco's circus training kicks in as he manages to get himself into a handstand position. Will rolls his eyes and wonders how he ended up with this strange group of people, before also turning his attention to the bucket. After some experimentation, he discovers that no matter how much water he pours out, it stays full. After a quick check that everyone can breathe under water, he begins pouring water from the never-ending bucket until eventually there's enough water that they find themselves beginning to float and finally they can leave the floor behind. It takes a while but continuing to pour from the bucket they do find themselves bobbing within reach of the door.

The next room is also made of stone. It's a more normal height and there's a door straight across from them on the north wall. On the west wall is a row of 12 evenly spaced crystals. A series of random looking shapes and lines are scratched into the wall underneath the crystals, separated into eight different sections. Are they symbols of some kind? Rosco gingerly touches a crystal, inspiring Raphina to show him how to start playing them using their wet fingers, like wine glasses. The door opens freely to reveal a small, square stone room, apparently empty. When Batthwack steps in to investigate, however, the door slams shut behind him.

## Quotes

* Rosco: *"I just want to say first of all that it's reaching the point where I'm not even sure some of these stories I'm coming up with are real."*
* Alex: *"Just trying to get off the ground somehow. Like, I can stand on my hands, right?"* Eric: *"I don't know. Are you bicycling or are you standing on your hands?!"* Alex: *"I don't know. You know, one thing leads to another."*

## Trivia

* The episode title quotes Eric. While the party try to figure out how to escape the ball pit, Abby explains, *"Raphina is sitting on top of the top layer of the balls, because she's light enough that she's not going to even go down, and she's gotten her mace out and she's using it to pretend that she's rafting across the ball pit."* Eric: *"Uh huh."* Abby: *"It probably isn't getting her very far, but..."* Eric: *"No, it is. Raphina's zippin' around this pit."*
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: no cap.

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*

## References

1. ↑ Rosco was also afforded underwater breathing by the Aeonian Anglerfish, see episode 299: Like a Zen Rake