Cards Against Humanity/List of white cards

This is a list of **540 white cards** in *Cards Against Humanity*:

* Cockfights
* A Gypsy curse
* Dead parents
* Friendly fire
* A moment of silence
* Object permanence
* Ronald Reagan
* A sausage festival
* Opposable thumbs
* A disappointing birthday party
* An honest cop with nothing left to lose
* Racially-biased SAT questions
* A sassy black woman
* Famine
* Jibber-jabber
* Mathletes
* Flesh-eating bacteria
* Chainsaws for hands
* A tiny horse
* Flying sex snakes
* Nicolas Cage
* William Shatner
* Not giving a shit about the Third World
* Child beauty pageants
* Riding off into the sunset
* Sexting
* Explosions
* An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist
* Sniffing glue
* Shapeshifters
* Jew-fros
* Porn stars
* Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards
* Mutually-assured destruction
* Raping and pillaging
* Repression
* Pedophiles
* 72 virgins
* Roofies
* Yeast
* A drive-by shooting
* My vagina
* Grave robbing
* A time travel paradox
* Assless chaps
* Eating the last known bison
* Authentic Mexican cuisine
* A murder most foul
* Catapults
* Bling
* Giving 110 percent
* Poor people
* Consultants
* Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II
* Forgetting the Alamo
* Crippling debt
* The Trail of Tears
* The Hustle
* Daddy issues
* Being marginalized
* The Force
* The Donald Trump Seal of Approval
* Goblins
* Wiping her butt
* Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up
* Hope
* Intelligent design
* Former President George W. Bush
* The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
* Loose lips
* Full frontal nudity
* A micro-penis
* AIDS
* Hormone injections
* My soul
* Pictures of boobs
* Laying an egg
* A hot mess
* The Übermensch
* Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon
* Vikings
* Sarah Palin
* Pretending to care
* Hot people
* American Gladiators
* Public ridicule
* Seduction
* Getting really high
* Sharing needles
* An Oedipus complex
* Scientology
* Boogers
* Geese
* Penis envy
* The inevitable heat death of the universe
* Global warming
* Praying the gay away
* The miracle of childbirth
* New Age music
* Frolicking
* The Rapture
* Hot Pockets
* Two midgets shitting into a bucket
* Whipping it out
* Making a pouty face
* The KKK
* White privilege
* Vehicular manslaughter
* Genghis Khan
* Wifely duties
* Women's suffrage
* Crystal meth
* The Hamburglar
* A defective condom
* Serfdom
* AXE Body Spray
* Judge Judy
* Stranger danger
* The Blood of Christ
* African children
* A Bop It
* Horrifying laser hair removal accidents
* The Virginia Tech Massacre
* Shaquille O'Neal's acting career
* BATMAN!!!
* Barack Obama
* Prancing
* Agriculture
* Asians who aren't good at math
* Vigilante justice
* A robust mongoloid
* Elderly Japanese men
* Overcompensation
* Natural selection
* Exchanging pleasantries
* Pixelated bukkake
* Coat hanger abortions
* Heteronormativity
* A lifetime of sadness
* Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale
* Parting the Red Sea
* Racism
* Michelle Obama's arms
* Arnold Schwarzenegger
* Dwarf tossing
* The World of Warcraft
* Road head
* Sunshine and rainbows
* Swooping
* Spectacular abs
* A monkey smoking a cigar
* Obesity
* Figgy pudding
* Flash flooding
* A homoerotic volleyball montage
* A mopey zoo lion
* Lance Armstrong's missing testicle
* Lockjaw
* A bag of magic beans
* Dry heaving
* A mating display
* Poor life choices
* The terrorists
* Testicular torsion
* My sex life
* Linsday Lohan at 55
* All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99
* Auschwitz
* Attitude
* Domino's Oreo Dessert Pizza
* A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis
* Breaking out into song and dance
* Kanye West
* A thermonuclear detonation
* Leprosy
* Hot cheese
* The clitoris
* Gloryholes
* Raptor attacks
* The Big Bang
* Nipple blades
* Taking off your shirt
* Land mines
* The heart of a child
* Smegma
* Friends who eat all the snacks
* Puppies!
* Alcoholism
* Goats eating cans
* Waking up halfnaked in a Denny's parking lot
* A middle-aged man on roller skates
* The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy
* Dental dams
* The Care Bear Stare
* Jerking off into a pool of children's tears
* Toni Morrison's vagina
* Bingeing and purging
* Man meat
* The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge
* Oversized lollipops
* Me time
* Active listening
* Self-loathing
* The Underground Railroad
* Ethnic cleansing
* Children on leashes
* Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes
* The Little Engine That Could
* Half-assed foreplay
* A sea of troubles
* The invisible hand
* The Holy Bible
* Lumberjack fantasies
* Waiting 'til marriage
* German dungeon porn
* Morgan Freeman's voice
* Unfathomable stupidity
* Being on fire
* Women in yogurt commercials
* Euphoria by Calvin Klein
* Teenage pregnancy
* Natural male enhancement
* Re-gifting
* Gandhi
* Being a motherfucking sorcerer
* Autocannibalism
* Leaving an awkward voicemail
* Genital piercings
* Erectile dysfunction
* Uppercuts
* Passable transvestites
* My collection of high-tech sex toys
* Customer service representatives
* Sexy pillow fights
* The Pope
* An erection that lasts longer than four hours
* Balls
* White people
* My genitals
* Grandma
* Tentacle porn
* Picking up girls at the abortion clinic
* Friction
* Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts
* Science
* Party Poopers
* Too much hair gel
* Not reciprocating oral sex
* Farting and walking away
* Seppuku
* Flightless birds
* Being a dick to children
* Same-sex ice dancing
* A good sniff
* Booby-trapping the house to foil burglars
* Cheating in the Special Olympics
* Waterboarding
* The Tempur-Pedic Swedish Sleep System
* Charisma
* A balanced breakfast
* Dying
* Keanu Reeves
* Historically black colleges
* Hurricane Katrina
* Sean Penn
* Actually taking candy from a baby
* The gays
* Nickelback
* The Make-A-Wish Foundation
* The folly of man
* A look-see
* A clandestine butt scratch
* Men
* Pooping back and forth. Forever.
* The Amish
* Passive-aggressive Post-it notes
* Menstruation
* The Chinese gymnastics team
* Pterodactyl eggs
* Kids with ass cancer
* Switching to Geico
* Team-building exercises
* A salty surprise
* Peeing a little bit
* A brain tumor
* The South
* Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine
* Cards Against Humanity
* The violation of our most basic human rights
* Nocturnal emissions
* Fear itself
* YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS
* The Jews
* Lady Gaga
* Date rape
* My humps
* The milk man
* Being fabulous
* Powerful thighs
* A foul mouth
* Necrophilia
* Winking at old people
* A big black dick
* Centaurs
* Mr. Clean, right behind you
* A beached whale
* Bill Nye the Science Guy
* A gentle caress of the inner thigh
* A bloody pacifier
* Black people
* Sexual tension
* A crappy little hand
* Chivalry
* The forbidden fruit
* A low standard of living
* Lunchables
* Skeletor
* A nuanced critique
* Bitches
* Fancy Feast
* Panty raids
* The profoundly handicapped
* Being rich
* A passionate Latino lover
* Heartwarming orphans
* Sweet, sweet vengeance
* A rival dojo
* MechaHitler
* Republicans
* A web of lies
* Fiery poops
* A gassy antelope
* A woman scorned
* Another goddamn vampire movie
* Natalie Portman
* Clams
* Tangled Slinkys
* Copping a feel
* Apologizing
* The true meaning of Christmas
* Kamikaze pilots
* Appreciative snapping
* Estrogen
* Sean Connery
* Neil Patrick Harris
* A zesty breakfast burrito
* The homosexual agenda
* Beating your wives
* That thing that electrocutes your abs
* The hardworking Mexican
* Being a dinosaur
* Passing a kidney stone
* A falcon with a cap on its head
* Shaft
* A bleached asshole
* Altar boys
* Bosnian chicken farmers
* Michael Jackson
* The Kool-Aid Man
* Nubile slave boys
* Cybernetic enhancements
* Getting so angry that you pop a boner
* Carnies
* Guys who don't call
* Free samples
* Coughing into a vagina
* Smallpox blankets
* A big hoopla about nothing
* Suicidal thoughts
* Masturbation
* Doing the right thing
* Dancing with a broom
* Classist undertones
* The Three-Fifths compromise
* Deflowering the princess
* Queefing
* Lactation
* Dorito breath
* Concealing a boner
* World peace
* Eating an albino
* Edible underpants
* RoboCop
* Enormous Scandinavian women
* Viagra
* Chutzpah
* Fabricating statistics
* Soup that is too hot
* Justin Bieber
* Finding a skeleton
* Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him)
* Oompa-Loompas
* Gandalf
* Surprise Butt-Sex!
* Genetically engineered supersoldiers
* Inappropriate yodeling
* Five-Dollar Footlongs
* Puberty
* George Clooney's musk
* Drinking alone
* Ghosts
* Getting abducted by Peter Pan
* Dick fingers
* An asymmetric boob job
* Getting in her pants, politely
* Multiple stab wounds
* Vigorous jazz hands
* Gladiatorial combat
* Soiling oneself
* Fingering
* Good grammar
* Child abuse
* Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook
* Hipsters
* Anal beads
* GoGurt
* Historical revisionism
* Civilian casualties
* Police brutality
* Insatiable bloodlust
* Pulling out
* John Wilkes Booth
* Jafar
* Robert Downey, Jr
* Preteens
* Jean-Claude Van Damme
* Horse meat
* Scalping
* Just the tip
* A really cool hat
* Stifling a giggle at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis
* Mad hacky-sack skills
* Kim Jong-il
* Tweeting
* Leveling up
* A stray pube
* Darth Vader
* Literally eating shit
* Jewish fraternities
* A sad handjob
* Making the penises kiss
* The token minority
* Exactly what you'd expect
* Media coverage
* Doin' it in the butt
* Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor
* Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament
* Feeding Rosie O'Donnell
* Adderall
* Moral ambiguity
* Teaching a robot to love
* Embryonic stem cells
* My machete
* A can of whoop-ass
* Tasteful side-boob
* One thousand Slim Jims
* A windmill full of corpses
* Panda sex
* Ominous background music
* Count Chocula
* An icepick lobotomy
* Overpowering your father
* Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry
* Tom Cruise
* Pistol-whipping a hostage
* A death ray
* Mouth herpes
* Quiche
* The glass ceiling
* Sperm whales
* Quivering jowls
* A cooler full of organs
* Homeless people
* Revenge fucking
* The American Dream
* Third base
* Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart
* Keg stands
* Incest
* Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse
* When you fart and a little bit comes out
* Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum
* Santa Claus
* Take-backsies
* A mime having a stroke
* Scrotum tickling
* Dead babies
* Hulk Hogan
* Sexual humiliation
* Foreskin
* God
* Sexy Siamese twins
* Saxophone solos
* Scrubbing under the folds
* Slow motion
* Italians
* Golden showers
* Space muffins
* A fetus
* Emotions
* Statistically validated stereotypes
* Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog
* Licking things to claim them as your own
* Sudden Poop Explosion Disease
* Dick Cheney
* Pabst Blue Ribbon
* The boners of the elderly
* Amputees
* The placenta
* The economy
* Eugenics
* Spontaneous human combustion
* The Fanta girls
* My relationship status
* Friends with benefits
* The Gulags
* Christopher Walken
* Finger painting
* The harsh light of day
* Bees?
* The hiccups
* Old-people smell
* Harry Potter erotica
* Dying of dysentery
* The shambling corpse of Larry King
* College
* My inner demons
* The four arms of Vishnu
* Getting drunk on mouthwash
* A Super Soaker full of cat pee
* Being a busy adult with many important things to do
* Nazis
* Aaron Burr
* Tripping balls
* 8 oz of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin
* Words, words, words
* Cuddling
* Stephen Hawking talking dirty
* The chronic
* Zeus's sexual appetites