The White Room

"**The White Room**" is the fourth episode of the third season of *Only Murders in the Building*, starring Steve Martin, Selena Gomez and Martin Short. It originally aired on August 22, 2023.

## Short Summary

Charles's stage fright reaches unimaginable heights, involving a break from reality and multiple baby dolls. Mabel is confronted by a mysterious individual from her past with a pivotal proposal.

## Full Summary

A real estate agent shows Mabel a small apartment.

Cinda lights candles and records a podcast.

Mabel asks about the rent and learns it's $4800/month plus utilities and maintenance.

Cinda talks about stepping down from her podcast because of Poppy. She denies having been cancelled. She spent a year working on self-care.

The real estate agent asks Mabel what she does, so she can figure out what Mabel will do with the space. Mabel gets a call and ignores it.

Cinda describes her self-care routine.

The agent tells Mabel a lot of people want the apartment, so if she wants it, she needs to get her paperwork together. Mabel lies and says she has everything needed. She gets a text from the number saying they need to talk. She replies that she has nothing to say to them. Mabel tells the agent that the apartment's not her.

Charles looks at Joy's fish tank. He declares them peaceful and plentiful. There are 62 fish in all. She asks if it's too much. She's moved in her things and asks if Charles feels suffocated. He promises he doesn't and says it's her space now. She's excited. She thought he would die alone and now they're living together. She wants to go to the fish store to celebrate. He says they've already been twice today and he needs to rehearse his patter song. Joy is confident that he can do it. She leaves to go to the fish store and admits that she'll probably buy more fish.

Mabel wants to take a few minutes before rehearsal to talk about the case. Oliver tells Mabel he's in love. Charles knows it's Loretta and says Oliver hasn't actually asked her out. Oliver says that's because he's workshopping the perfect date, because he's breaking his own rule by dating someone in the cast. He shares his current vision of the date. Mabel says they've made no progress on the case, so she wants to go back to the theater to figure out if Ben was poisoned. If it was, Kimber's a decent suspect. Oliver asks if it has to be Kimber, because she's one of the few cast members who can sing. Charles is offended by that and says he's been practicing his vibrato. Oliver also just found out that Kimber has 2 million followers on TikTok, which is great press for the show. On the other hand, their stage manager is a grump with 12 followers. Mabel says Kimber was the only cast member not to give Charles a hanky. She could have tried to poison him at the theater and pushed him down the shaft when that didn't work. Charles says they could cut the patter song and he could just do a look instead. Mabel says the footage also seemed like Ben had a lover's spat right before going on stage, which would explain his apology to Kimber. They have to find out if Kimber and Ben were secretly dating. Oliver says he and Loretta are secretly dating, but Mabel says they aren't. Mabel says Kimber also had a way to deliver the poison and shows them a video of Kimber promoting her anti-aging serum. They're interrupted by Kimber and the rest of the cast coming in. Kimber says she can put them on the waitlist, but she can't keep it in stock since Ben signed on as the unofficial spokesperson. Howard wants to keep things on-topic during rehearsal time. Oliver wants to start things off with Charles's song.

Oliver tells Charles he needs to get used to the eyeballs as he'll be performing the song in front of a large audience in six weeks. He sets the scene and has Tom start playing. Charles struggles to get started. As he starts, he mixes up the lyrics and then blacks out.

Charles imagines himself in a pure white room, wearing a white suit and hat. He paints the walls with white paint.

When Charles comes to, he's in one of the cradles, holding a baby in one hand and a shoe in the other. He's not wearing pants and the set around him is in disarray. Howard asks to step out so he can call his therapist. Charles says he doesn't know what happened. His mind just went blank. He wonders if he's dead or on drugs. Ty says he went to the White Room. It's an actor thing, Kimber adds. Jonathan corrects that it's a stage thing. If you screw up on TV, you get another take, but that's not true when it's live theater. If you blank out, that's it. It happened to Bobo in 2014. He was doing *As You Like It* in Wilmington. He'll never know exactly what he did on that stage, but there are pictures of his penis online and he has to assume they came from that. Charles asks how he avoids it. Jonathan says he's dealt with it. He once went to the White Room and woke up two days later at a Papa John's in Yonkers. The trick is to find your happy place. Oliver says they all need a break after what they just saw. Howard comes back and tells Oliver he lied about calling his therapist. He actually called his cousin. Oliver dismisses Howard. Mabel knows they're recovering from what happened and she's having a hard time even making eye contact with Charles. Charles asks what he did, but they're not ready to talk about it. Mabel says they need to find the serum that Ben used on opening night to see if it was poisoned. Howard says it might be at the theater, but Howard has to be in the right mood to let them in. Howard comes in and Mabel asks him to let them into the theater. He asks if they're investigating, but Mabel says they left a sweater there, knowing Howard loves sweaters. He agrees to let them in.

Charles rants to Joy about what happened. He doesn't think he has a happy place. Joy thinks he's probably just hungry and suggests that make himself an omelet. He makes beautiful omelets.

Charles sings his song as he works on his omelet. He startles when he realizes he sang the whole thing without any mistakes. He tells Joy he knows the trick now. He's made omelets to calm down for years. And now that's his trick. Joy says that him thinking he needs the omelet is a crutch. He has her now. She's the omelet. She'll look out for him just like she did with Ben. He knew that he'd have to deal with her if he tried anything with Charles. She wants Charles to come to bed with her. He wants to make another omelet, but follows her instead.

Mabel and Oliver are at the theater, which has opening night gifts stashed there. They open the door to Kimber's dressing room and they're shocked to find her in there. She's also surprised to see them.

Kimber offers them some tea to make their hair grow faster. Mabel asks if she lives at the theater. She doesn't. She just runs her business from it. She copied Howard's key. As she and Oliver discuss his jowls, Mabel notices some bottles of the anti-aging serum. Kimber notices and Mabel asks about the bottle Ben would have used on opening night. Charles comes in looking for Oliver and Mabel. They excuse themselves and meet Charles in the hallway. Mabel wants to get Kimber talking. She sends them to look at Ben's dressing room while she talks to Kimber. When Kimber steps out to check on them, Mabel tries girl-talk, but is very awkward.

Kimber offers Mabel a bowl of food. It's dog food, but she says it's human-grade. Mabel gets another call from the same number and ignores it again. She asks Mabel about her career and how hard it is to juggle her career and a boyfriend. Kimber denies having a boyfriend, but Mabel says there were rumors about her and Ben.

Charles tries to pick the lock on Ben's dressing room. Oliver wants them to run through the patter song, but Charles says he's good as he gets the door open. The room is full of dead flowers, but that's not the worst thing.

Kimber's upset that Mabel assumed she was sleeping with Ben, like everyone else. She takes it as part of being the young woman in the show. Everyone thinks you want to bed the star. In a way, she did. She didn't want sex, though. She wanted an endorsement, a post from Ben about her serum. She even wrote the copy. He promised to help her, then backed out at the last minute. That's why she didn't feel bad about selling his opening night gift on eBay. She got a few hundred dollars, but now she feels guilty for giving away the only thing she had left of him. He wasn't easy, but he could be sweet. He was hard on himself. On opening night, he was panicking about a red mark on his face. He called someone in to help him cover it up and Kimber's drowning in serum she can't sell. Mabel asks Kimber who was in Ben's dressing room with him that night. Kimber doesn't know, but whoever it was is talented because the red mark was gone when he came out. Mabel gets a text from Charles that they need her so she leaves.

Mabel, Charles, and Oliver stare at a drawing on the mirror in lipstick that says, "FUCKING PIG," with a drawing of a pig above it.

Mabel wonders whose lipstick it is. Oliver says it might be Goldie the wardrobe lady. He says that because she's totally replaceable. It won't affect their show if she goes to jail. The key is to find a murderer that won't cost him. Charles gets a text and has to leave. Joy keeps texting him pictures of a piranha and he's slightly worried she bought one for their tank. Oliver also leaves. Mabel wraps the lipstick and puts it in her pocket. She gets a text saying that she can't ignore them forever. She asks them where they want to meet.

Mabel tells Cinda she wants to make their meeting quick. Cinda tries to hug Mabel, saying she hugs now. Mabel still doesn't and declines. Mabel read about her transformation, but Cinda admits it was fake. She did some of what she said, but now she feels she's put her time in and in about two weeks, she can get back to murder podcasts. She has a proposal for Mabel.

Tom and Howard apologize for being late. Their cats were having a play date. Sevelyn and Chopin hit it off. Oliver's eager to hear Charles's song and has Tom start playing. Charles mimes making an omelet while singing. Oliver stops him and Charles says he thinks it adds some zazz. Oliver asks him just to sing without the movement. Charles tries again, but flubs his lines and blacks out again.

Charles cheers in the White Room as he looks at all-white paintings.

Charles comes to holding two of the babies with the third hanging from the ceiling. He takes it as a good sign that his pants are still on. Oliver says he's never heard filth like that come out of anyone's mouth. Howard says Tom is a Christian and Oliver tells him to take the day and pray it out. Oliver orders Charles to step into his office.

Charles says the song is making him mental. Oliver thinks it might be something else, like Joy moving in. That's a huge life change. Charles has been alone since Oliver met him. Charles reminds Oliver that he has as well. Oliver thinks that different. Charles admits that he's struggling. He wants to be the guy who can share his home with a woman. Oliver thinks maybe Charles doesn't need to change. Maybe who he is is enough. Charles guesses maybe he's meant to be alone. He's not sure how to ask Joy to move out when she's just moved in. Oliver says to keep it simple. Charles thinks Oliver could take the same advice about his date with Loretta. Oliver texts Loretta to invite her to dinner.

Cinda says her return to true crime has to be strategic. That's where Mabel comes in. She can be Cinda's partner. Mabel says she already has partners. Cinda says they're busy with their show. Also, what will she do when people stop dying at the Arconia? If she doesn't monetize herself soon, she'll miss the moment. Cinda's offering her structure and a paycheck. Mabel says she doesn't need a comeback like Cinda. She's deep in a case right now. Cinda realizes she means Ben. She thinks Mabel is lucky to have so many murders fall in her lap. Mabel says she hasn't gotten far and their best lead just fizzled, but Cinda knows she can do it with the right partner. Mabel admits that Charles and Oliver are distracted and old, but they're her guys. Cinda offers to write Mabel a large check. Mabel declines even with two extra zeroes. Cinda admits that would have been too much anyway. Mabel leaves.

Joy shows Charles the treasure chest decoration she bought for the tank. He asks her to check in on them living together. He tells her he's mostly lived alone and when he hasn't, he's been known to hide in the bathroom waiting for the other person to leave. Joy laughs and says he's weird, but they're good for each other. She asks him what his point is. He starts to tell her, but he blacks out again.

Charles frolicks in the White Room, waving at fish who are swimming by the windows.

When Charles wakes up, he's kneeling in front of Joy. He apologizes for whatever he did. Joy says she'd be honored to marry him. He realizes he's holding a ring as she takes it and puts it on her hand as Mabel and Oliver come in. Joy sees the lipstick Mabel is holding and gasps. She's happy that Mabel found her lipstick and puts it back in her set.

### Starring

* Steve Martin as Charles-Haden Savage
* Martin Short as Oliver Putnam
* Selena Gomez as Mabel Mora
* Michael Cyril Creighton as Howard Morris

### Guest starring

* Gerald Caesar as Ty Wessex
* Tina Fey as Cinda Canning
* Sas Goldberg as Real Estate Agent
* Andrea Martin as Joy Payne
* Ashley Park as Kimber Min
* Don Darryl Rivera as Bobo Malone
* Jason Veasey as Jonathan Bridgecroft

## Notes and Trivia

### Soundtrack

* "Song", performed by Artist
*Written by Composer*

## Navigation

 **Season 3** | "The Show Must..." · "The Beat Goes On" · "Grab Your Hankies" · "**The White Room**" · "Ah, Love!" · "Ghost Light" · "CoBro" · "Sitzprobe" · "Thirty" · "Opening Night"