The EFAP Pantheon

The EFAP Lore is fairly vast, deep, and pieced together from vague scraps of knowledge sprinkled through various sources, and therefore can be difficult to understand, even for the most dedicated of viewers. The basics are as follows:

## The Universe

The Universe was born from the egg laid by the Cosmic Chicken named Phred, making Her the Cosmic Mother to all life within it. She is a neutral being, although the only time She takes actions is when Goliath attacks on a massive scale.

As of the release of *The Rise of Skywalker*, it was discovered that the entire Universe had been sent to The Poop Dimension, where it resides to this day.

## Gods

The EFAP Universe was created by, and is currently ruled by, several different gods. These embody and personify major aspects of the universe. Some of them were born gods, while others are deified mortals.

### Primordial

* **Phred** - The first being and Goddess of Creation. Phred is a largely neutral entity, although she will quarrel among the stars with Goliath, an evil, colossal creature, when it causes havoc.

### Current Pantheon

* **Jeb** - God of Florida, the act of clapping, and watering. Jeb is considered the primordial motivator of conscious thought among all things, including Massives. It is said that a small Jeb lives inside everybody's head, powering their thoughts by running on a wheel. A pitiful deity but still loved by many as he tries to become the next President of the United States. Metal is one of his most devoted fans.
* **Madea** - Goddess of Presence as she can appear in everything she wants. She is famous throughout the Universe and is known as the Distributor of N-Word Passes to all and a great and valiant foe of evil.
* **The Don** - God of Kindness, Selflessness and Bikers. A lonely hero and a widowed man, he was deified after his misfortune at the hands of the vengeful Captain Marvel. After that, he became a Guardian of the Universe, fighting Captain Marvel alongside EFAP and their allies whenever she shows herself.
* **Tonald** - God of Video Games, Slowness, and Knowledge. Phred and Dadald's only biological child, causing him to be equal in power with The Don himself. His lack of grammar in his sentence and many powers like Artificial Barriers of Blockage make him a powerful warrior. The other two forms of Tonald are Slownald and Speedald. He graced EFAP with his presence and wisdom for Episode 100, then dropped by again to bless them with Gene.
* **Wolf** - God of Pizza and Good Writing. One of the original hosts of EFAP, After Episode 65, Wolf himself was deified, ruling from his mountain realm with his feline friend Hugh Catman. He returned to the mortal realm in Episode 100.

### Former

* **Jared Genesis** - FORBIDDEN LORE - He deceived everyone under the persona of a great being, but in reality he was an aggressive and immoral being. Most likely sent Ochie to the *Star Wars* universe to take his place. Currently banished forever from the EFAP Universe.
* **Ochie** - An interesting fellow, his role became lost in time although we know that he was send to the *Star Wars* Universe where he became insane and died in a cave. He was very powerful as he was able to say the N-word, R-word, F-word and even more slurs.

## Other Mythological Figures

### Demigods

* **Kyle Ben** - EFAPverse answer to Kylo Ren, a chimera with the face of Micheal Cera and the hair and lightsaber of Adam Driver, he can access the Infinity Gauntlet turning him into Thanos-Cera-Ren.
* **Dadald** - Tonald's father, he raised him in a cave, where they played video games. Due to similar beards and faces sometimes they are impossible to distinguish. During EFAP 50, CreamySheevPalpatine showed a recording in which both of them were sitting in a car.
* **Hacked Alien** - He was hacked!

### Heroes

* **Memers** - These are the members of the Toxic Brood tasked with chronicling the epic tales of the EFAP Podcast in a humerous form, be it through the medium of artwork, video or image. Each one is considered a minor hero among the EFAP Pantheon.
* **Freudian** - Prolific philosopher and mentor of Bigideas.
* **Bigideas** - A great scholar, philosopher and chronicler of the universe appointed by Phred herself.
* **Chat** - People following adventures of the EFAP crew manifested as one being
* **MauLer** and **Rags** - The hosts of the EFAP Podcast, great heroes of the mortal realm.
* **Bilbo Baggins** - An unlikely philosopher known for his great quotes. It is unknown whether Bilbo Baggins studied with philosophers like Bigideas or Freudian.
* **Tywin Lannister** - Apex Homosexual
* **Alfred** - A very mysterious individual among the EFAP Pantheon. Little is known about him other than others intensely speculate about who he could be. This speculation usually comes in the form of the question: "Is this guy supposed to be Alfred?"
* **Hibble Subbledees** - Another great scholar who can take many forms and can be often found in the backgrounds of many frames.
* **Lesbonious** - Less known Philossopher

### Creatures

* **Welsh Dragon** - A great red winged beast charged with defending the country of Wales, the birthplace of MauLer and SmilerAl.
* **The Isle of Man** - Jay's nemesis. The creature within its flag is destined to eternally battle the Welsh Dragon, while the latter is utterly befuddled.
* **Hugh Catman** - Cat, Wolf's second in command and friend

### Races

* **Spiders** - A race of eight-legged Arthropods capable of precognition and future-sight, John Adams was one of them.
* **Orphans** - Beings who have lost both of their biological parents, and as such are burdened with having to own their own blood, a burden that Orphans are not mature enough to bear. Their prematurely-owned blood drains their bones of density and gives off the smell of sadness that causes others to hate them. The only being morally pure enough to be able to fully overcome Orphan Hate is The Don.
* **Rhinos** - A beautiful race of animals and great companions. Some of them, like Jay, can even take human form, altough such acts deserve lifetime kicking. Their milk has magical properties. There is no reason not to milk them, killing them is punishable by death. The ivory of their horns is a great resource for the peoples of the Earth.
* **Longoids** - Longoids are a scarce race of very tall Homo sapiens. As far as scholars are aware, MauLer is the only living Longoid remaining. What happened to the rest of their kin is, for now, unknown.
* **Disnoids** - A Disnoid is a race of Homo sapiens who blindly follow, worship and uncritically praise the works of the Walt Disney company. Many Disnoids are also Massives.
* **Zebras** - Morally pure creatures, loved by all except the most evil of people. To kill one is a reprehensible act, and to save one helps to cleanse the soul.

## Evil ones

* **Goliath** - Just as the name implies, a kaiju-sized dog, The Scourge of The Phillipines, a being of pure Evil, as evil as one can be, powerful enough to destroy countries on Its own. Few times tamed. It can make its victims forget that it exists as Weekend Warrior is not aware of him, despite living in his home country. Goliath actively hunts Orphans.
* **J03L** - The Embodiment of Death, the Destroyer of Zebras. After Joel Miller's death at the hands of Abby Anderson, Joel was cybernetically reconstructed into an android duplicate named J03L, and gained a desire to kill all life. J03L somehow traveled backwards in time, allowing him to cause deaths that happened before his own creation.
* **Captain Marvel** - She wounded The Don and later was attacking the universe on her own multiple times since then, once she even joined forces with Goliath. She also killed Don's wife.
* **Diabeto** - Evil mastermind and deadly opponent causing EFAP many problems, has the ability to manipulate sugar.
* ***The Gay*** - A crippling disease, Jay has it in the form of an organ. The term is also used to refer to 'The Force' in the Star Wars Franchise by MauLer. Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee are known to suffer from this affliction.

## Mythological Items and Weapons

* **Sword-Like Weapon** - A formidable but nebulous weapon that has become an iconic tool of both the Toxic Brood and Massives. The first of these weapons was the staff of Rey from the Star Wars franchise, but later evolved into hundreds of different weapons over time.
* **Artificial Barrier of Blockage** - A defensive barrier summoned by Tonald, the god of video games and knowledge.
* **McMuffin** - An item which serves as a trigger for a story's plot. Identical in function to a MacGuffin. The title was first spoken by DasBoSchitt.

## References

1. ↑ EFAP #60 - Banning Opinions on the Jeb-pilled Leftist Incel podcast + SW Leaks with G+G
2. ↑ EFAP #48 - Checking out "What makes good art/film?" and "The OT Sucks" With JLongBone and Metal