You Add To The Story Bois

## Rules

No 18+

This is a Warriors fanfic

Canon characters only

That's all run wild and don't be even remotely afraid to make it go insane because that's the whole point children

## Chapter One

FIRESTAR: Don't ever go to chick-fil-a. It sucks.

TIGERCLAW: HOW DARE YOU I WILL KILL YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

GRAYSTRIPE: Popcorn?

DARKSTRIPE: ...sure.

LONGTAIL: Graystripe, how dare you talk to Darkstripe!

YELLOWFANG: Wait, where are we? Because I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to have wings.

GRAYSTRIPE: \*throws popcorn at Longtail\*

LONGTAIL: \*very offended\*

HOLLYLEAF: Hello I am from the future! I am Firestar's granddaughter!

FIRESTAR: wat!

LIONHEART: \*Steals Graystripe's popcorn\*

PRINCESS: AHAHAHAHA! IT'S ALL GOING TO PLAN NOW!

CLOUDKIT: MOTHER NO

FIRESTAR: I THINK YOU MEAN

FIRESTAR/PRINCESS: MOTHER YES!

CLOUDKIT: ????????

TALLSTAR: Why am I in ThunderClan camp???????????????

DARKSTRIPE: I DON'T KNOOOW

TALLSTAR: WELL BLA

ALDERHEART: I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM THE FUTURE! YOU ALL ARE GOING TO DIE!

PRINCESS: Noooooooooooo!

GOOSFEATHER: \*comes in wearing gangster glasses and a cap\* BRO *I'M the one* that predicts the future. Get outta here. \*kicks Alderheart to h-e-double-hockeypoles\*

ROCK: I don't have to predict the future, I am destine to watch it unfold. Buuuuut, that means I know who you all end up marrying...BUT I WON'T TELL YOUUU!

CLOUDKIT: \*grabs ears\* I MUST KNOW PLEASE I MUST KNOW WHO I WILL MARRYYYYYYYYY

PRINCESS: Calm down, child. \*hands Cloudkit some green butter\*

CLOUDKIT: what am I supposed to do with this

CLOUDKIT:

CLOUDKIT: wait how am I holding this

ERIN HUNTER: \*walks out of de sky\* Hello

GOOSEFEATHER: AAH! A TWOLEG! LEAVE AT ONCE YOU DEMON, FOR YOU WILL CURSE THE FOREST WITH YOUR FOUL PRESENCE

ERIN HUNTER: Relax, children, I am your creator.

DOVEWING: THANK YOU, I AM PERFECT BECAUSE OF YOUU

CLOUDKIT: EW GROSS WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BOW DOWN TO A TWOLEG

JAYFEATHER: \*randomly pops into existence\* WHAT THE \*bleep blep\* IS HAPPENING I \*bleepeeeepepep\* SWEAR THAT I \*blep bloop blop\* SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT!

PRINCESS: \*gasps\* COVER YOUR EARS CLOUDKIT

CLOUDKIT: What does \*bleep\* mean?

EVERYONE: AAH!

FIRESTAR: JAYFEATHER! GO JUMP IN THE LAKE!

JAYFEATHER: NO! [BLEEP]! [BLEEEEEP]! AND FURTHERMORE, [BEEEEP]!

CLOUDKIT: \*cheerfully\* [BLEEP]! [BLEEP]! [BLEEP]!

FIRESTAR: OH CLOUDKIT NO!

PRINCESS: CLOUDKIT! You must get a spankin now \*gives cLOUdkit a leSpank\*

SQUIRRELFLIGHT: YOU TOO JAYFEATHER

JAYFEATHER: I REFUUUUUSE \*ascends into StarClan\*

TIGERCLAW: But I don't think you die.

JAYFEATHER: \*falls back into Earth\* AWWW

TIGERHEART: DaD? \*leaves\*

ROWANSTAR: MA SON

SANDSTORM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

FIRESTAR: YOU REALLY NEED TO READ THE NEXT BOOK, CHI-

[twelve bricks fall on Firestar's head]

FIRESTAR: OW OW OW, OKAY, OKAY, FINEEE

NORTHSTAR: \*Comes walking cooly in.\* "Wats up boys?"

CLOUDKIT: EWWWWWwwww did you read the rules? ONLY CANON CHARACTERS ALLOWED \*shoves Northstar out the leDoor\*

JAYFEATHER:YEAH, YOU \*bleeep\* \*bleep\*.

GRAYSTRIPE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!

DARKSTRIPE: Shh.

GRAYSTRIPE: YOU'RE STEPPING ON MY TAIL!!!

DARKSTRIPE: Entirely intentional.

JAYFEATHER: WHAT THE \*bleep\*!

BROKENSTAR: JAYFEATHER I HAVE COME TO CAT-NAP YOU.

JAYFEATHE: D: NO \*bleep\*!

EVERYONE: JAYFEATHER!!1! THERE ARE KITS HERE!!

JAYFEATHER: DO YOU THINK I \*BLEEP\* CARE?!?!?!?!?!!?!

LEAFPOOL: \*kills Jayfeather\*

EVERYONE: THANK YOU

## Chapter Two

VIOLETSHINE: Twigpaw, I'm so proud of you!

BRAMBLESTAR: Twigpaw ur name is Twigbranch.

TWIGBRANCH: AAGAHAGH BRAMBLESTAR U [\*BEEP\*] \*attaccs\*

BRAMBLESTAR: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU I TAKE IIT BACK. WHAT. DO U. WANT UR NAME TO BE?

TWIGBRANCH: I WANNA BE CALLEED TWIGFBI!!!

BRAMBLESTAR: ur name is now Twigfbi.

SPOTKIT: Can I hav dat suffix

HOLLYLEAF: I ressructed!!1!1!1 \*kills breezepelt and gives his life to Ashfur\*

ASHFUR: Yeet

LIONBLAZE: \*dabs\*

DOVEWING: AAAAHAHHHHHHHHH NUUUUU DABSS ARE LAST YEAR

IVYPOOL: GET HIIIIIMMMM!!!

EVERYONE: \*kills lionblaze\*

AMBERMOON: \*constantly smashes face into pie\*

ALDERHEART: \*le stabs self\*

HAWKFROST: \*everything bad happens to him\*

SQUIRRELFLIGHT: I rEtIre froM bEIng ur Dep!

BRAMBLESTAR: Holly you are the new deputy

HOLLYLEAF: \*makes it rain with cash\* ye

EVERYONE: \*cheering and doing fortnite dances\*

BRAMBLESTAR: has a heart attack and dies

HOLLYLEAF: I will be the greatest leader in all time, cause I give free cheesepuffs!

SNAPKIT: But... I like just cheese!

AT THE GATHERING

MISTYSTAR: I heard the new leader Hollystar gives cheese puffs to her clan.

TIGERSTAR: LUCKY!!!!!!! >:(

HARESTAR: Where did she get them tho? :=

HOLLYSTAR: U DONT WANNA KNO

CROWFODDER: YES WE DO

HOLYLYSTAR: UR MOM

[ALL OF A SUDDEN, SOME RANDOM MUSIC STARTS PLAYING...]

GRAYSTRIPE: \*walks in with a latte\* DID I MISS ANYTHING IMPORTANT?

YELLOWFANG: Maaaaaybe

TIGERCLAW: I DON'T UNDERSTAND! WHY- WHO IS THIS IMPOSTER?! \*gestures at Tigerstar\*

TIGERSTAR: I'M YOU, BUT OLDER

GRAYSTRIPE: OH

GRAYSTRIPE: UHHH

GRAYSTRIPE: BYYYYYYEEEEE

FIRESTAR: WAIT! Graystripe! Your... two-leg drink!

YELLOWFANG: I don't understand. Where'd he get the two-leg drink? And why?

PRINCESS: Why? Well, for the same reason why I'm here and not at the Twolegplace.

YELLOWFANG: WHICH IS???

PRINCESS: **NONE AT ALLLL!!!**

CLOUDKIT: I'm confused!!!

PRINCESS: AS YOU SHOULD BE

CLOUDKIT: But why?

PRINCESS: BECAUSE I SAID SO

CLOUDKIT: Awwwww, but I don't want to.

PRINCESS: TOOOOO BAAAAD!

FIRESTAR: Does anyone else feel like there'll be an explosion soon?

BRIGHTSTAR: HELLOOOO!

FIRESTAR: AAA!

YELLOWFANG: \*yowls\*

SCOURGE: ARRGH!

CLOUDKIT: WOAH!

[BOOM]

JAYFEATHER: Now I've used up all my bombs...

TIGERCLAW: I'm afraid.

CLOUDKIT: Of what?

TIGERCLAW: OF THE WITCH!

 FIRESTAR: How do you known she is a witch?

 JAYFEATHER: I'M NOT A WITCH! I'M NOT A WITCH! (And I'm not a she-cat, either...)

 CLOUDKIT: Then why are you dressed like one?

 FIRESTAR: Did you dress her like that?

 TIGERCLAW: Well, yes, but... HE TURNED ME INTO **A NEWT!**

 YELLOWFANG: A newt.

 TIGERCLAW: \*sheepishly\* I got better...

 THUNDERCLAN: BURN HIM ANYWAY!

 YELLOWFANG: There are ways of telling if he's a witch.

 CLOUDKIT: Wood burns, soooo...

 FIRESTAR: WITCHES MUST BE MADE OF WOOD!

 YELLOWFANG: BUILD A BRIDGE OUT OF HIM!

 FIRESTAR: Ahh, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?

 GRAYSTRIPE: Oh, yeah...

 YELLOWFANG: Does wood sink in water?

 SCOURGE: No.

 CLOUDKIT: No. It floats.

 FIRESTAR: THROW HER INTO THE LAKE!

 JAYFEATHER: WHAT?! I HATE YOU ALL! URGH, time to go to the Twolegplace.

 YELLOWFANG: ...awww. Now we can't burn him!

 CLOUDKIT: Does nobody care that Scourge is here?!

 SCOURGE: \*hides behind tree\*

 TIGERCLAW: Actually, the fact that we just spent ten minutes re-enacting a Monty Python script is probably more important.

 CLOUDKIT: Oh, yeah.

 YELLOWFANG: Hm.

 FIRESTAR: Hm.

 JAYFEATHER: ONE LAST BOMB, FOR LUCK!

 THE FOUR CLANS: AAAAAA!

JAYFEATHER: HAHAHA I WILL KILL YOU ALL!

BRIERLIGHT: Jayfeather, don't.

JAYFEATHER: Oh, but-but I really want to...

BRIERLIGHT: \*Turns into Rock\*

ROCK: HAHA

JAYFEATHER: AAA \*Launches bomb\*

STICK: JAYFEATHER, NOOO!

CLOUDKIT: WHAT THE-

PRINCESS: \*slaps Cloudkit\*

JAYFEATHER: Hey, what the \*bleep\* did you slap your son for? He didn't do anything!

PRINCESS: YOU ARE A \*BLEEP\* \*Slaps Jayfeather\*

CLOUDKIT: [BLEEP]

PRINCESS: NO D:

SCOURGE: [a long string of beeps which I doubt would be suitable for any audience]

FIRESTAR: \*kicks Scourge into the next century\*\

EVERYONE: //Claps for Firestar// WELL DONE

*MEANWHILE, IN THE NEXT CENTURY...*

SCOURGE: NOOOO! MY BEAUTIFUL FORESSSSSST!

## Chapter Three

JAYFEATHER: Now that the villain has been defeated, shall we party?

TIGERCLAW: BUT TIGERSTAR STILL EXISTS!

TIGERSTAR: ***I'M OLDER YOU, IDIOT!*** \*slaps Tigerclaw\*

THE DARK FOREST: HA

IVYPOOL: NUUUUUUUU

BREEZEPELT: YOU HAS COME FER MEH. AH NEW IT.

BROKENSTAR: By the powers invested in me by myself, I hereby name you Cheesepelt.

CHEESEPELT: D: NUUUUU I DON'T WANNA BE- \*is slaped by Mapleshade\*

MAPLESHADE: STOP WHINING.

BLUESTAR: Because you disturbed my sleep, I hereby re-name you... MAPLESYRUP.

MAPLESYRUP: \*Gives Bluestar a look of annoyance// Har.har. I HEREBY NAME YOU...BLUECHEESE

BLUESTAR: BUT I AM A STARCLAN QUEEEEN!

FIRESTAR: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS BLUECHEESE

BLUECHEESE: YES IT IS, FIRESTUPID

FIRESTUPID: HOW RUDE

MAPLESYRUP: HAHAHA, FIRESTUPID!

FIRESTUPID: YOU ALL ARE DUMB

MAPLESYRUP: SAYS THE CAT WITH STUPID IN HIS NAME! HAHA!

## Chapter 3, continued.

FIRESTUPID: I HEREBY RE-NAME MYSELF 'FIREAWESOME'.

FIREAWESOME: BECAUSE I'M A LEADER, TOO.

MAPLESYRUP: WAIT ONLY LEADERS HAVE THIS NAME-CHANGING POWER?

CLOUDKIT: Maple syrup is awesome. The syrup, not the cat.

MAPLESYRUP. I'm going to pretend you didn't say that last part. Thank you, Cloudkit, aka CloudCandy.

CLOUDCANDY: What's candy?

FIREAWESOME: Aren't we in Britain?

MAPLESYRUP: No, we are ON MARS \*Teleports everyone to Mars\* HAHA

THE FOUR CLANS: \*die\*

STARCLAN CAT #1: Look, lots of new StarClan cats!

STARCLAN CAT #2: What happened? Did the forest burn down, or something?

MAPLESYRUP: No, we went to MARS!

YELLOWFANG: Aren't those my ancestors?

STARCLAN CAT #1: What is 'Mars'? It sounds like a herb.

MAPLESYRUP: NO IT'S A FISH YOU FLUFF-BRAIN.

STARCLAN CAT #1: Okay, yeesh

STARCLAN CAT #2: Wait, you went to a fish and then all died?

MAPLESYRUP:YES. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

EVERYONE: YES!

STARCLAN CAT #2: How did you all die from a fish?

STARCLAN CAT #1: \*In reasoning tone\* Maybe it was poisoned.

CLOUDKIT: IT WAS NOT \*bleep\* POISONED.

JAYFEATHER: Atta-boy, Cloudkit.

PRINCESS: \*Uses new-found powers to continuously murder Jayfeather\*

MAPLESYRUP: \*BLEEP\*

PRINCESS: NO MAPLE SYRUP. \*Smacks\*

MAPLESYRUP: HOW RUDE

JAYFEATHER: [BEEP]

PRINCESS: COME ONE CLOUDKIT, WE'RE LEAVING

CLOUDCANDY: [BEEP]

PRINCESS: NAUGHTY KIT

CLOUDKIT: I AM NOT A KIT ANYMORE. IMMA DOG

PRINCESS: WHAT

FIRE-FACE:GaSP. Ur a cloudy doggo :0

MAPLE SYRUP: WOOF

PRINCESS: I REPEAT, WHAT

CLOUDKIT: It's better if you stay ignorant of the truth.

PRINCESS: WHICH IS???

CLOUDKIT: \*glances at fourth wall\* NOTHIIIING

PRINCESS:\*YELLS LOOUUDDLLYY\*

FIRE-FACE: WAIT WHO AM I

MAPLE SYRIP: YOU WHERE FIRESTAR, BUT U GOT DEMOTED XD

PRINCESSSTAR: AND NOW I'M THE LEADER

MAPLE SYRUP:\*is terrified\* PLEASE NO

PRINCESSSTAR: TOO LATE I NEEDED A REASON FOR BEING HERE

MAPLE SYRUP:YOU HAVE A REASON, IT'S SO WE CAN DRAMATICALLY KILL YOUUU

PRINCESSSTAR: BUT AREN'T WE ALL DEAD?

MAPLY SYRUP: THAN YOU SHALL DIE AGAIN!!

TIGERCLAW: HAHAHAAHHAAAHHHAAAAAA

TIGERHEART: AHHHHAHHHAHHHAHHH

TIGERSTAR: ***AHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAAAHHAHAHA***

TIGERHEAR:I WILL NEVER BE LIKE TIGERSTAR!

MAPLE SYRUP: \*whispering\* Should we tell him?

YELLOWFANG: I have a computer now!

PRINCESSSTAR: \*GASP\* I HEREBY MAKE YOU THE LEADER, YELLOWSTAR

PRINCESSMOUSE: I AM NOW PRINCESSMOUSE

YELLOWSTAR: wait what

PRINCESSMOUSE: WHAAAAAAAAAT

CLOUDCANDY:I'm a prince now!

CLOUDCANDY: wait nevermind mother isn't the leader anymore :c

PRINCESSMOUSE:WELL DUNG

## Chapter 4

*Meanwhile, back in the forest...*

SCOURGE: >:3

SCOURGE: Now I rule everything!

SCOURGE:Well, all of the cats anyways.

STILL SCOURGE: And by cats, I mean kittypets, 'cause the clans are gone...

STILL SCOURGE: ...and now I'm alone...

YEP, STILL SCOURGE: ...and I want cookies... :(

RANDOM KITTYPET: lol no I'M the king of the kittypets

SCOURGE: :( \*sadness\*

SCOURGE:GASp WAIt. What if I killed myself, and then went to rule StarCan!

SCOURGE: \*is conveniently hit by a vehicle that for some reason hadn't already crashed into a tree\*

*In StarClan...*

SCOURGE: \*gasp\* I'm in StarClan!

CLOUDCANDY: Why does HE have to be here?

PRINCESSSTAR:Maybe because he secretly had a nice side and StarClan forgave him.

PRINCESSSTAR:....No, that's not right.

STARCLAN CAT #3: This story isn't canon at all, so EVERYTHING IS CORRECT!

SCOURGE: So the idea that everyone who doesn't support my evilness is stupid is correct??

STARCLAN CAT #3: No :D

PRINCESSSTAR: HAHAHA!!!

CLOUDCANDY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SCOURGE:THAN I GUESS I WILL KILL YOU ALL!....again....

STARCLAN CAT #2: Can we even die twice?

FIREAWESOME: HELLOOOOOOO

GREYPELT: I HAVE MORE LATTES!!!

CLOUDCANDY: WHAT THE BEEP IS A LATTE

SCOURGE: ...did you just say 'beep' out loud?

CLOUDCANDY: Yep

SCOURGE: I need a holiday...

YELLOWFANG: Now you feel my pain.

CLOUDCANDY: NYEHHHHHH

JAYFEATHER: NI!

YELLOWFANG: ***What?***

JAYFEATHER: [backs away] uhh... nothing...

CLOUDCANDY: NI! NI! NI!

YELLOWFANG: \*Facepalm\*

CLOUDCANDY: HAHAHA \*BEEP\* NI!

SCOURGE: [screams of fear]

CINDERPELT: \*does a frontflip and claps\* Heyo! lololololololololololololol

SCOURGE: [scrambles backwards in an undignified but cat-like manner]

CLOUDCANDY: Awwww :(

A RANDOM STARCLAN CAT: AHHHHH YA'LL ARE INSANE AAAAA

SCOURGE: IT IS ***Y'ALL*** NOT ***YA'LL***

YELLOWFANG: NOBODY CARES

SCOURGE: :'(

CLOUDCANDY: [clears throat]

CLOUDCANDY: ***y'all'ren't***

JAYFEATHER: I can do better!

JAYFEATHER: ***y'all'ren't've'reshan't***

STARCLAN CAT #2: What? That isn't a word.

JAYFEATHER/CLOUDCANY: THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT

STARCLAN CAT #2: ALSO. I HAVE NO NAME. HOW SAD.

EVERYONE ELSE: [evil laughter]