Chris O'Neill

"Agaghagah." ~ Chris "OneyNG" O'Neill.

" Children in anguish, kinda, brightens my smile. "
 — Christopher "DARKLORD" O'Neill.

***Christopher Luke O'Neill*** (also known as ***OneyNG*** or simply ***Oney***) is the head honcho of the OneyPlays Gang and was the co-host of Game Grumps show Doodle Doods with Ross O'Donovan and is most commonly known for creating the gayest cartoons of the 2000's. He's currently working on his own game named *Bowlbo: The Quest for Bing Bing* along with AIbino Moose Games, who also made *Spooky's Jump Scare Mansion* (a game he has played on the channel with Cory J. Beck and Dave Brown).

Chris has been said to be a god, therefore meaning his dick is only 936 inches. Chris is the critically acclaimed funnyman of the OneyPlays troupe and finds purpose in making Julian do the big Haha. On top of his career as the most successful Let's Player on YouTube, he is a member of the multimedia collective SleepyCabin, composed of mutual friends and associates from the flash animations website Newgrounds.

After the "death" of Ding Dong and Julian, Chris continued doing OneyPlays with his new friends Zach Hadel, Joshua Tomar, Lyle Burress and members from SleepyCabin besides the aforementioned Zach. Ding Dong and Julian were revived and have since been on the show sometimes, but Chris still plays games with others.

He is currently the head honcho of "Chris's big juicy mangoes", a plot of multiple highland areas in California's mountainous regions. He amassed enough money for this business venture by sucking on Zach's nose while tickling his stinkies on onlyfans. While it started out as a lucrative business venture, him, Zach and Tomar have had to fend off constant cartel wars for their land and he has had to personally murder and eat the foreskins of at least 37 cartel members in front of their respective gangs in order to establish dominance, all that's known about this scenario as of now is the remaining cartel members think he's a stinky poopoo head.

Chris has died at least 7 times, but he has been brought back to life after every death against his own will, similar to DD and Julian's case. It is unknown how that is possible. He has also stated that he did not want to be brought back each time. Also, despite dying multiple times, Chris has never released his bowels postmortem. He also has a do not resuscitate order tattooed on his forehead, but no one reads it because they are too busy watching him be reincarnated by Zach and Lyle to troll him.

## Profile

With his maximum gaming powers, Chris has learned to be a master at literally everything ever, but he's most proficient in:

* Classical Music Production and Sound Engineering
* Flash Animation, Drawing, and Color Theory
* Creative Writing, Voice Acting, and Storyboarding
* Occasional Actor, Film-Maker, and Editor
* 3D Design & Animation in Blender Studio
* Goes on Reddit and lols
* Quirky Coffee Boy
* Master of high IQ hypotheticals
* Jelqing

Despite Chris's many talents, it would appear that his suave comes with a price. Chris is infamously known for his perverse humor and bombastic sensibilities, and thusly Chris is currently seeking rehabilitation for his rampant addiction to cringe comedy.

It is speculated that Chris would watch over 50 cringe videos daily as some form of remedy for his post-traumatic stress from his time at Magfest. Chris has currently limited himself to only 12 cringe videos a day and is on the road to recovery for the time being.

Chris's life also has some downs to it, like having drag queens follow him everywhere trying to dox him and having PTSD of Magfest. Even then, he's still a happy boy with the only purpose of entertaining you, the reader.

## Interests

> "It was a night of Halloween when a man run in and funny scream." - Chris O' Neill in 2016 telling his incredible tales
>
>

Apart from making funny videos with his two good friends, Chris likes to sing Eye of the Spider in the dead of night at 2,000 decibels while fingering his browner. On a serious note, Chris is at his happiest when working creatively with his friends. Chris is currently working on the soundtrack for the upcoming video game *Nightmare Cops*, designed by Jeff Bandelin, and programmed by Tom Fulp.

Julian has also speculated that Chris will be composing some music for the upcoming Wan Wan Games projects *Trigger Treat* (a twin-stick shooter) and *Tough Bippy* (side-scrolling beat-em-up). Ding Dong in a very old stream had stated that they would only hire Chris if absolutely needed. Chris has also worked with his co-conspirator Zach Hadel (PsychicPebbles) on the animated cartoon Hellbenders. Chris and Zach once pitched a pilot of the show to Adult Swim, who claimed that it was, "the worst pitch they had ever seen." Despite this, Chris and Zach have allegedly signed a contract with an outsourced animation firm that will be handling most of the legwork. Details regarding the status of the show are thin on the ground, but Chris and Zach have professed that the show is now out of their hands for the time being as they have finished their share of the work.

Alongside the aforementioned, Chris has worked on Doodle Doods and spent time recording with his two buddies Ding Dong & Julian. Chris alleges that Ding Dong & Julian had a 33.3% share of the Oney Plays channel, with the remaining 0.1% belonging to the owners of Bargingo.com, following the overwhelmingly positive response from his fans. Chris has requested to work with Chris Bores on the soundtrack for his revival of the Irate Gamer NEO series. The Irate Gamer is yet to respond to his request, but fans are led to believe Chris Bores is too busy working on a patent for his Diarrhea Dick Waffles recipe.

Today Chris generally records with Zach Hadel, Josh Tomar, Lyle Burruss, some of the SleepyCabin boys and Dave (AKA PhantomArcade). Ding Dong and Julian left to work full time on Wan Wan Games and are still friends with him. In SleepyCast S2:E27 - [Le Rancid Red Boca] he mentioned that he is working on a pilot using Blender.

Like everyone else in or from Ireland, Chris is a Roman Catholic, meaning he is a strong supporter of Jesus, Crusades, (possibly pedophiles) and Gothic Architecture. This was once mentioned in his Banjo-Kazooie series, where Julian and Matt got into a conversation about Matt's religion and his family upbringing, where Chris noted he relates to Matt because of it. Despite this, Chris has also demonstrated to be very critical of religion as well, noticing that the Bible depicts God to be a bipolar psychopath.

Chris is a big fan of physics games and ragdolls in games, as he thinks they're really fun to play with. Besides that, he has had a big passion for monkeys, apes, and chimps ever since he was a small lad. He also likes it when games add a button that opens the player character's mouth, as it allows him to make them say funny things.

## Appearances

As the main protagonist of OneyPlays, Chris has appeared in every episode. Therefore, he has been in every series. Here are a few of his favourites:

* A.I. Dungeon
* Black Baby
* Crash Bandicoot 2
* Dark Souls
* Final Fantasy VII
* Deadly Premonition
* Hercules
* Marble Blast Ultra
* Mario Artist
* Resident Evil 4
* Rugrats: Search for Reptar
* Shenmue
* The Simpsons: Virtual Springfield
* Space Station 13
* Wild Woody
* Yooka-Laylee

## Notable Quotes

* "Oh, it's bad!"
* "Yahoy!"
* ”nugaugh~ Minecraft”
* "I'd pour Boiling Milk on their head."
* "What if instead of *"Now Loading"* it said *"Now Exploding"* and it blew up?"
* "I hate you Tomar and your fucking emeralds!"
* "You're in for a scare!" - (in response to rapists beware)
* "I'm not Crash Bandicoot!"
* "What? That's completely unrelated" - (in response to pressing a button and destroying various world landmarks)
* "I'm a chunky monkey."
* "You got crumbed."
* "Was that a Muslim prayer?!"
* "I don't wanna get fucked by Julian to impress kids!"
* "I wish I could die."
* "The audience is king!"
* "Wibble dobble doo!"
* "Dopamine!"
* "Sometimes when I'm playing games, my mind just turns off and that's when I'm at my best, y'know? It's when I'm not even thinking, it's when I'm gaming."
* "I like it when little cartoons make swearie-wearies."
* "You be smacking off, while I be cracking off!"
* "What the fuck? It's got pig physics."
* "Turn on little bill, i can't cum" - **Bill Clinton**
* "I'll kill ya!" - (After being told he can't swear in front of the children)

## Trivia

* Chris created the ever-famous Crash Bandicoot "Woah!" meme.
* Similar to a cat, Chris has a total of nine total lives. He has died 7 times and is on his eighth life right now. Very little is known about his previous deaths/revivals.
* Chris once won an award for most dumb hypotheticals.
* Chris' favorite games are Final Fantasy VII, Dark Souls and Crash: Mind Over Mutant
* Chris is an official member of the Irish High IQ Society.
* Chris has alleged that he doesn't like pan flutes, though brass makes him "fucking squint."
* Chris has a cat called Django who starred in the movie of the same name.
* Chris likes to play the piano in his free time.
* Chris has been sent many death threats by the leader of the l33t str33t boys
* Chris is the only known member of Sleepy Cabin apart from Captain Dickhead who has a boot-legged cartridge of Donkey Kong 64: The Unsold Copy.
* Chris' favorite creepypasta is Minecraft's Herobrine as he claims it made him "shit his pants".
* Chris's favorite Harry Potter character is Dobby because he's "Nice."
* Chris has been receiving cryptic letters from an ominous desert man known as 3lamestudio who Chris alleges lives in a corrugated steel shack.
	+ The notes have been addressed in a threatening nature, disclosed subliminally in varying different interpolations of franchise crossovers such as The Simpsons, Dragon Ball, Despicable Me, and several more.
* Chris once fucked a woman and she said: "Heugh, get out!".It was a great day for everyone.
* His favorite thing to do is go on the lmao.org website.
* Julian says that Chris is a banana boat.
* Until he was 9, Chris always touched his dick on every place he went. He says it gave him self-confidence and, according to himself, "Makes him the Alpha and then he fucks people".His mother always told him to stop doing that.
* At a very young age, Chris accidentally stabbed himself with a kitchen knife on his leg so a large chunk of it had to be cut so whenever he gets a boner, he can tuck his peepee right into it.
* Chris has stated that he has beat Dark Souls with nothing but Havel's Ring and a piece of string, possibly making him one of the most powerful gamers to ever live.
* Chris's uncle was an "apeist", meaning he would forcibly "ape" people, meaning he would turn them into apes. He would do that with his crinkled ape magic finger. He would get his crinkled ape magic finger by dipping it into mud that was actually The Fountain Of Youth.
* He shits blood every Saturday night.
* Chris loves Link because he stink.
* Chris hates hiccups.
* Christopher has a dog called Sammy and, according to Julian Marcel, it fucking sucks and keeps listening to Limp Bizkit.
* We all know the boy for being incredibly talented, but I bet you would expect that he produced the Tarzan movie, wrote The Lion King movie and did the concept arts for the original Metal Slug all by himself (Or maybe you did expect it).
* Chris once called someone a spaz at 6th grade. His vice-principal was really angry at him and started poking his chest and screaming "HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I CALLED YOU A SPASTIC?". He was really confused and was laughing a lot.
* When Oney was a young lad, he once slept in his parents' bedroom and in there was a painting. Chris saw tiny moving little guys (Probably of the same species as The Man) in it and when his dad went in the room he looked at the painting and those things looked at him back. Chris thought that his dad also saw them so one day Christopher asked him "Hey, do you remember those guys in the painting?" and his dad thought he was just trying to freak him out.
* Chris once said that he would do a Twitch stream fighting Mick Lauer to the death. He has probably canceled it because he knows Mick is too epic for him to defeat.
* The first time Chris played FFVII as a young boy, he got scared by the timer going off in the beginning of the game so much that he turned off the PS1 and ran out crying.
* Julian Marcel has made Chris only be able to say f\*\*\*\*t only once a day.
* According to Julian, Chris looks like E. Gadd.
* Chris is deeply disturbed by body horror, despite watching it in the past unaffected..
* Chris and Edd Gould were friends before Edds passing, Chris even voice acting Eduardo in Eddsworld and giving a special thanks to Edd in the credits of Hellbenders.
* Mother Theresa died shortly after meeting Chris.
* Chris is the tallest one between him, Ding Dong and Julian Marcel.
* Chris's blood is made out of mayonnaise.
* Chris has the power to summon Patty & Selma from The Simpsons into any frame in the Springfield residence, showcased in both The Simpsons: Virtual Springfield and The Simpsons Arcade Game.
* According to the thumbnails from both Spider-Man 2 series, Chris has secret web-shooting powers.
* Since he's a mermaid, Chris lived underwater on the Titanic in his childhood.
* A very small percentage of Chris's fans are autistic. Please don't pay attention.
* Chris has a secret third alternate account on YouTube and PornHub named FunnyFeetLOL where he makes funny feet jokes and also squishes mosquito corpses and tomatoes with his feet.
* Chris jokes that he doesn’t like when Adam vapes. (Im sure he doesn’t mean it but i think he really doesn’t like it bc its bad for Adam yk)
* He has a Little Man and a Juwanna Mann tattoo on his body, although it is unknown where they actually are.
* Chris has a giant/unbirth fetish and has even said that, as a 5 year old, liked to imagine himself entering a giant woman's pussy and that he would try it IRL.
* In the 'Super Mario Odyssey' play-through, Chris explains a real life event in which his doctor tells him he has an 'infected epididymis'. One of the ways to obtain an 'infected epididymis' can be caused through an infection triggered by a sexually transmitted disease. This means there is a 31.8% chance Chris has AIDS.
* If you're an attentive reader, you might have realized that on the Family part of his infobox, Chris's wife is also named Chris O'Neill. That is because when they first married, his wife forced him to change his name to hers for unknown reasons. His true name is yet unknown.
* Curiously, in a stream where Ding Dong played GTA V for an entire fucking day (Not joking btw), a character named O'Neill appeared and showed very similar powers to Motifa during his misadventures. His actual parental relationship, if any, with Chris is yet unknown and Chris himself doesn't seem to have ever spoken on the subject before.
* Chris O'Neal is a subscriber of dog.com, but due to a dog biting him, Zach Hadel suggests that he cancels his dog.com subscription.
* Chris always brags to friends about his size 23 feet. None of them pay any mind, however.
* I'm Chris's best friend and have appeared in every single episode of Oneyplays, I just haven't said anything yet so you don't know I'm there.
* Chris loves sniffing ripe braps from Ding Dong's pungent buttocks.
* Chris has said recently in a FF7 Remake Stream that he may try and contact Ding Dong and Julian (who now live in the distant planet Arizona) for a Kingdom Hearts 3 playthrough, although he has claimed before to hate it and think it's really boring.
	+ In 2021, the three bois did indeed play KH3 during OneyStays, but found it boring and stopped after the Hercules world opening.
* Chris's fascination with boiling milk comes from the fact that he was boiled in the womb.
* Oneyplays is recorded in a windowless room that Chris rents from an Italian man named Anthony Antonio. sex
* According to Chris, the most terrifying moment in his life was when "Calm 4" started playing during an epic Minecraft session. The second most terrifying moment was the first time his house got burgled.
* Chris could only communicate in fluent Simlish until he became a teenage boy.
* Chris has royal ancestry, with an incredibly unique ability to see tiny witches that no one else can see.
* Chris Did Teh Epic Weed?! What!? O\_O WHO WHAT WHERE...?
* Chris uses the term “who’s dinging the kettle” multiple times throughout his career. From this it can be inferred that Chris hates most foreign countries.
* On April 4th 1999 Chris was slipping around in the bathtub.
* Chris is currently wanted dead by the United Nations for various war crimes he committed in Kosovo. These are, but not limited to, execution of civilians, torture, usage of child soldiers, and chemical warfare.
* He wanted to fuck Maid Marian from Disney's 1973 film *Robin Hood*.
* Chris is not a fan of the James Bond movie *Skyfall*, as mentioned in SleepyCast Season 1 Episode 25 and the Hitman 3 playthrough.
* According to Businessinsider.com, Chris is dating Princess Madeleine of Sweden. This has yet to be proven true or fake news.
* He thinks that all of the Red Pikmin should be gassed in the oven.
* Oneyware, and therefore Chris, has contributed to the production of Smiling Friends at the writing, the sound design, pieces of soundtrack, 3D assets of certain characters and even voice acting of background characters. Needless to say, Chris became increasingly rich as the show was released.
* Chris now has a golden play button for his OneyPlays channel. It was bestowed upon him by his father.
* Chris has a roommate named Adam, but it's not confirmed if it's Adam O'Neill or another Adam.
* Chris' other channel, OneyNG, is currently owned by some guy who he met during the Friday the 13th playthrough. The contract was verbal, and official.
* Chris is an avid l33t str33t boys fan, singing multiple songs made by the group during playthroughs.
* Chris’s parents are Catherine and Darren O’Neill, and he has one known sibling, Lynne.
* Chris' uncle is known as Suction Cup Man. Uncle O'Neill was getting off a helicopter that chopped off the top of his scalp. Now, he has a permanent bald spot. His power derives from the ability to put a suction cup on his bald spot. He climbed Trump Tower in the early 2000s using his bald spot and family-inherited prolapse. He played several Johnny Cash songs on a guitar while climbing (inspiring young Chris to pursue music in the future). The inspiration for Piemation's character "Suction Prolapse Man" also comes from this story.
* The movie "Inception" is based on Chris's techniques