The Daily Gnus

**The Daily Gnus** is a newsletter published in Adventureland detailing all of the goings-on in the region. It was given out in conjunction with the Adventure Trading Company event that ran at Disneyland in the summer of 2014.

## Backstory

The Daily Gnus is a newspaper which was active in the 1930s which was published throughout, "Adventureland" locales including: Polynesia, the Lost Delta of India, Cambodia, and the Congo basin of Africa.

## Transcripts

### Issue 60

#### LOST SHIPMENT

*JUNGLE NAGIVATION CO. LOSES SHIPMENT - AGAIN!*

Report by Carla Quest

There’s been a bungle in the jungle! For a record breaking 57th time this year, the Jungle Navigation Company has lost a shipment of precious cargo. A cargo crate full of rare Juju was headed towards the visiting Adventure Trading Company outpost but was lost somewhere in transit.

The cargo in question contains unique Juju depicting a miniature version of a large stone elephant carving found alongside the Jungle Cruise river’s course. Some consider the pieces to be the world’s smallest replicas of the world’s largest animal cracker. Highly desired by adventurers, the Juju is considered, appropriately enough, the simple of a great tracker.

All efforts to track the shipment by JNC officials have fallen short with fel leads. The Adventure Trading Company is reaching out to resident adventurers and offering a reward for discovery of the goods. A representative of the Adventure Trading Company advised, “If I were to start anywhere, I’d call the missing shipment’s phone number of the Jungle Navigation Company. Once you find the lost shipment, be sure to ask the recipient to send it back our way!”

#### THE ELEPHANT JUJU

An Expose by Priyanka Manhas

Every Juju reflects an important attribute of the owner. The rare and exotic Elephant Juju symbolizes and represents the tracking ability of adventurers. Anyone who adorns their gear with the talisman may be trusted to track down or hunt for precious artifacts. Noted Elephant Juju luminaries include Dr. Albert Falls, who discovered the legendary Schweitzer Falls in 1903, and Lord Henry Mystic, the explorer who assembled the largest collection of lost goods of the last century. Anybody who is awarded this artifact shall be celebrated as one of the greatest adventurers in the land.

#### MONKEY BUSINESS AT TROPICAL IMPORTS

By “Tiki” Teemu Ojanen

“They came out of nowhere” Louie Majors, a shopkeeper at Tropical Imports recalls. “There must have been at least 50 of them. They came from each entryway and the ceiling. Heck, one even popped out of the ice barrel and scared me down to the ground!” This is the 16th time this year that Tropical Imports has been overrun by primates.

This should come as little surprise as the little shop nestled between the Jungle Navigation Company’s entrance and exit carries Adventureland’s finest produce. Tropical Imports has been delighting customers for generations as a food market receiving port and resellers of the ‘rare and exotic’.

The shopkeepers at Tropical Imports are beginning to take precautions to prevent any future monkey melees. “It’s obvious that these little guys love the produce. We don’t mind if they have a piece of fruit now and then, we just don’t want them destroying our shop. As a compromise, we have decided to offer free bananas to our monkey friends and have them hanging on a simian safe pole above our entry.

#### ADVENTURER FINDS LOST SHIPMENT OF QUININE

By Ting Ting Xu

Legendary explorer Clive Berrendo has added another impressive feat to his already extensive resume. Last month the Jungle Navigation Company misplaced an important shipment of quinine and it was thought to be lost forever. The Daily Gnus reported the situation, placing it on the front page. This caught the attention of the master explorer.

“The headline caught my eye and I knew I could help,” explains Berrendo. “The first thing I noticed was the missing shipment’s phone number is an ad for the Jungle Navigation Company. I rang it up and a recorded message informed me to check the cracking board at Tropical Imports next to the Jungle Cruise. With a little sleuthing, I discovered the location that the barrels were mistakenly shipped to. Lo and behold, there they were!”

Great work, Clive! The Daily Gnus and Adventureland salute you!

#### GRAB A TIGER BY THE TAIL AT THE BENGAL BARBECUE

Report by Skipper X

Since its humble beginnings, the Bengal Barbecue has continued to dazzle dinners with its delectable dishes. I had the pleasure of dining at the eatery with two of my closest friends. As always, we were greeted with a smile by the cashier. I ordered a side of Tiger Tails with Vemonade, and my companions ordered a Safari Skewer with a Chieftan Chicken Skewer.

Each skewer was grilled to perfection and left the diners satisfied. I was impressed to find that my Tiger Tails were not actually tiger tails but rather amazingly tasty breadsticks! The unique shape and grill marks made for a convincing appearance, but the soft interior and crunchy crust reminded me of bread back home. My Venomade was a different story. I had to strum up a lot of courage to down this sour concoction of snake eggs and venom. In the end I was awarded a Juju as a reminder of my courage for drinking the infamous Venomade concoction.

Skipper X’s Final Review: 3/3 Survivors

#### JUNGLE NAVIGATION COMPANY LOSES TWO BOATS

Written by Skip Documentary

Speculation has arisen about the location of two missing vessels from the Jungle Navigation Company’s fleet. Representatives have failed to comment on the whereabouts of the Mekong Maiden and Magdalena Maiden. No skippers are reported missing, but waiting passengers have noticed extensive patchwork to damage near the loading dock. No rewards or requests for information have been mentioned by the skippers.

#### IS HAMLET MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING?

Review by Thompson J. Gazelle

The Adventureland Gorilla Theatre Company has opened the new season with the classic drama Hamlet. The cast of Shakespearean simians has reinterpreted the piece as a contemporary commentary in the heart of Africa. The show is brilliantly performed on a wonderfully minimal set composed of a tent, miscellaneous sets, and an actual overturned vehicle that was unwilling donated by a visiting safari team

While the performance is strong throughout the nearly twelve hour runtime, the highlight is the beautiful soliloquy by veteran performer Kojo the Silverback to a floating crate of explosives and produce. But that wasn’t the only ripe performance of the show. The audience went absolutely bananas for this classic. Additional performances have been added, so don’t let the chance to see this classic slip by!

#### ENTERTAINMENT SPOTLIGHT

By Lilikoi Humuhumunukunukuapuaa

The Daily Gnus focuses its spotlight on one of The Enchanted Tiki Room’s fabulously fragrant floral choral members, Flora. As part of a beautiful bouquet of balladeers, Flora doesn’t often get the spotlight shined upon her. It is now time for her moment in the sun. This orchid was planted and grown in the enchanted lanai before putting down roots inside The Enchanted Tiki Room. She quickly blossomed into one of the show’s top performers. Her alluring alto voice resonates amongst the birds and tiki drummers. She credits her vocal talents to the training received from legendary potted performer Ophelia.

In her spare time, Flora likes to soak up the sun and grow as a performer. She hopes one day to become a soloist and record her own album. Until then she will continue to sing alongside her petaled pals, Rose and Lily.

#### COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENTS

Swim Lessons - Daily 5pm in the Irrawady River

Free Cooking Course Hosted by Trader Sam - Bring a Friend

Missing Bird - White Cockatoo answers to Rosita

Taking Pictures Night - Cancelled due to missing reel, projector, and projectionist

Snakelets for Adoption - See Jacque

Unclaimed Luggage Sale - Thursday at the Temple of the Forbidden Eye

Open Auditions for the Enchanted Tiki Room - New talent welcome - see latest issue of The Bird Call

Proper Patti’s Piranha Petting Pool - Closed until further notice

Witness the Wonder of Nature - Crocodile feeding demonstrations daily 5pm in the Irrawaddy River

#### THE SPORTS DESK

By Colin Netcrash

The lions dominated while the panthers continued to claw their way to the top. Tonight the tigers take on the jaguars! Visiting the jungle are the ducks who take to the sky against the hawks in a storm of thunder and lightning en route to southern Africa to face the penguins.

Other scores from the world of sports:

6, 19, 85, 22, 93, and in a stunning upset, 5

#### RETRACTIONS

We previously published a report entitled “Rare Tigers Spotted in Adventureland.” After further investigation it was discovered that the tigers in question were actually leopards.

Several readers wrote to us in our review of The Enchanted Tiki Room. José was misquoted singing “In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room” when the actual lyrics are “In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room.”

#### SCIENTISTS CRY FOWL

By Abigail Samson

There’s something strange happening down in the tropical rivers of Adventureland. Recently a large population of mallard ducks has moved into our beloved outpost. Their cheery disposition is a wonderful addition to our community. While everyone seems to enjoy their company, there is one group that is confused by their presence.

Scientists are baffled as to why the North American waterfowl have decided to visit the jungle. “Their survival skills are remarkable!” states one scientist. “Typically these birds would be prime prey for a variety of animals. This flock, however, seems to go about their business in the jungle seemingly unnoticed. I even saw a few of them perched on the heads of hungry crocodiles!”

Nobody is sure just how long these birds will grace us with their company. But one thing is for sure. These ducklings are just about the cutest thing in town!

#### DATELINE ADVENTURELAND: THE MYSTERY OF THE TREEHOUSE JUJU

Report by “Tallahassee” Glover

Greetings, adventurers… “Tallahassee” Glover here with a mysterious dispatch from the jungles of Adventureland. Even the leaves in the trees are whispering about a special Juju found at the Adventure Trading Company. Legend says this Juju may have the power to unlock the mysteries of the ancient petroglyphs found at the base of the Disneydendron semperflorens grandis that grows nearby.

I had to know more about this puzzling Juju, so I took to the wilds of Adventureland. First, I consulted José - the famous host of The Enchanted Tiki Room, at the far reaches of the land. Who would know more about trees than a bird? But it seems that Jose’s busy performance schedule keeps him from exploring, so I turned to a jungle expert… someone who sees explorers come and go through there every day.

“Ah yes, I’ve seen this Juju before,” Shrunken Ned, the head shrink of the jungle, told me before offering. “I used to have one. I would wear it around my neck. Bus as you can see, that has become rather hard these days!” I think I’ll have to keep investigating the mystery on my own. Look for the Treehouse Juju at the Adventure Trading Company adventurers, and discover its secrets for yourself.

#### FUN WITH PUNS!

By “Jungle” Jorge Jump

The skippers of the Jungle Navigation Company are on the hunt for “Adventureland’s Funniest Joke.” Known as the funniest crew to ever sail the jungle rivers of the world, the skippers are always looking to add a few zingers to their routine.

Skipper Dave, a Jungle Nagivation Company correspondence, recognized this challenge. “I’m not lion when I say we’re looking for gnu material. We recognize that this challenge is like a giraffe at a take-out window, you know - a tall order.

But the animals have already been really helping us out. The gorillas have some jokes that a-peeled to us, and the elephants had a whole trunk full. We haven’t reached out to the local bat population though. Their humor is way too dark for us! Let us get to the point. In the end, we believe our fellow adventurers could help us out greatly.”

Luckily, the Adventure Trading Company is in the area selling handbooks with a crash course on river navigation. So make like a skipper traveling through a pool of hippos and give it a shot.

#### ADVENTURE TRADING COMPANY ARRIVES IN ADVENTURELAND

By B. Pepperella

Adventureland has welcome a traveling provisions and publication company to the Indiana Jones Outpost. The Adventure Trading Company arrived at our settlement by way of Harambe, Mystic Point, and the Lost River Delta. The company has a respected reputation of being official suppliers to the world’s greatest explorers. More so, they have a reputation of peddling goods that lead to grand adventures. Could your next journey begin at the Adventure Trading Company?

#### HOROSCOPES

* With the Great & Powerful, All-Knowing Mystic Norms
* Virgo: The wheel of your boat may not connect to a rudder, but the river’s current will guide you to happiness.
* Libra: Beware of Leos with sharp claws and fangs.
* Scorpio: Love is my hammock but may also be a net.
* Sagittarius: Some zebras may seem to be white with black stripes, but are really black with white stripes.
* Capricorn: Treasures await you in an ancient temple.
* Aquarius: You have the grace of a tiki bird, the wit of a skipper, and the wisdom of an archeologist.
* Pisces: You will soon feel as if you are piloting a boat in circles and talking to yourself. Make the most of it!
* Aries: Your love of pineapples will lead to many great adventures.
* Taurus: Why did it have to be Taurus?
* Geminin: You are as fast and swift as the infamous Orinoco Adventures!
* Cancer: A giraffe may be the first to know about rain, but it is also the first to get rained on.
* Leo: Libras taste like zebra.

#### COMICS

1/2
#### ADVERTISEMENTS

Jungle Navigation Co. LTD, EST. 1911, For missing shipments call 575-208-5006

This Side Up, Parfait, Available for a limited time at Tropical Imports

Refreshing Venomade at Bengal Barbecue, A courageous blend of snake eggs and venom with a sour bite! Available for a limited time

Visit Adventure Trading Company. Provisions and Publications for the World’s Greatest Adventures, Limited time only at the Indiana Jones Outpost

Oh what fun it is to ride... Jingle Cruise, Setting sail with the yuletide this holiday season, Book your tour today!

Earthly Riches! Eternal Youth! Visions of the Future! Can all be yours! Explore the Temple of the Forbidden Eye

Banjo Lessons, Contact H. Goff, Dock 54

FREE KITTENS! To a good home, Adorable, playful kittens have pretty stripes and ar quite large, Contact the shipping office and take one home today! PLEASE!

Adventureland Bazaar for all your shopping needs, From everyday to the bizarre.

Hurry Hurry Hurry to the Tiki Room, Tikis make drums go boom, Magic is happening, All the birds and flowers sing, come and see this thing - The Enchanted Tiki Room

CALLING GREAT TRADERS! Skippers at Trader Sam’s Enchanted Tiki Bar at the Disneyland Hotel Need Your Help! If you are a great adventurer, please see any Adventure Trading Company representative for more information. Only the bravest explorers need apply. Open daily at 11 am.

The Global Broadcasting Service, Broadcasting Globally around the Globe since 1928, Greenwater Production Co.

## Appearances

### Trader Sam's Enchanted Tiki Bar

There is a letter from a reporter of **the Daily Gnus**, asking Sam for an interview.

## Connections

### Jungle Cruise

#### Skipper Canteen

In the Skipper Canteen library is a book titled *Gorilla Theatre* by J. Thompson Gazelle, a character from **The Daily Gnus**who reviewed the gorilla raiders' performing of Hamlet.

### Kilimanjaro Safaris

The Daily Gnus mentions the port of Harambe as having been visited by the Adventure Trading Company. Harambe is the setting of the *Africa* themed, "Land" of *Disney's Animal Kingdom*.

### Mystic Point

"The Daily Gnus" newsletter mentions Lord Henry Mystic as a noted recipient of the Elephant Juju, given for demonstrating one's tracking skills, for "assembling the largest collection of lost goods of the last century". Mystic's name also appeared first on a list of adventurers that ran the Trading Company with Mystic Point having been a previous location for the company.

### Tarzan

The Disneyoendron tree brought up in the Daily Gnus holds Tarzan's Treehouse.

### Other

* The Merry Menagerie comics are signed by Walt Disney who made them in real life.

## External Links

* All Adventure Trading Company Material on Facebook

1. ↑ https://disneyparks.disney.go.com/blog/2021/03/jungle-cruise-adds-new-characters-mischievous-wildlife-and-skipper-humor-to-classic-attraction/
2. ↑ https://www.instagram.com/p/Bd8IDZSFqvJ/