Songs!

***EX-WIVES [THE QUEENS****]***

Divorced
Beheaded
Died

Divorced
Beheaded
Survived
And tonight, we are
Live

Listen up let me tell you a story
a story that you think you've heard before
We know you know our names and our fame and our faces
Know all about the glories and the disgraces

I'm done 'cause all this time
I've been just one word in a stupid rhyme
So I picked up a pen and a microphone
History's about to get overthrown

Divorced
Beheaded
Died

Divorced
Beheaded
Survived
But just for you tonight
We're divorced, beheaded, live!

Welcome to the show, to the historemix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Raising up the roof till we hit the ceiling
Get ready for the truth that we'll be revealing
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

But now we're
Ex-Wives

All you ever hear and read about
Is our ex and the way it ended
But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush
You're gonna find out how we got, unfriended

Tonight we're gonna do ourselves justice
'Cause we're taking you to court
And every Tudor rose has its thorns
And you're gonna hear 'em live
In consort

Divorced
Beheaded
Died

Divorced
Beheaded
Survived
But just for you tonight
We're divorced, beheaded, live!

Welcome to the show, to the historemix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Dancing to the beat till the break of day, once
We're done we'll start again like it's the Renaissance
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're
Ex-Wives

My name's Catherine of Aragon
Was married twenty-four years I'm a paragon
Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican
So if you try to dump me
You won't try that again

I'm that Boleyn girl and I'm up next
See I broke England from the church
Yeah I'm that sexy
Why did I lose my head?
Well my sleeves may be green but my lipstick's red

Jane Seymour the only one he truly loved
(Rude)
When my son was newly born, I died
But I'm not what I seem or am I?
Stick around and you'll suddenly see more

Ich bin Anne of Cleves
Ja
When he saw my portrait he was like
Ja!
But I didn't look as good as good as I did in my pic
Funny how we all discuss that but never Henry's little-

Prick up your ears I'm the Catherine who lost her head
(Beheaded)
For my promiscuity outside of wed
Lock up your husbands
Lock up your sons
Kate Howard is here and the fun's begun

Five down I'm the final wife
I saw him to the end of his life
I'm the survivor Catherine Parr
I bet you wanna know how I got this far
I said I bet you wanna know how we got this far
Do you wanna know how we got this far then?

Welcome to the show, to the historemix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Get your hands up, get this party buzzing
You want a queen bee, well there's half a dozen
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

But now we're
Ex-Wives

One, two, three, four, five... six!

***NO WAY [CATHERINE OF ARAGON]***

N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way. There's no way.
You must agree that baby in all the time I been by your side,
I've never lost control no matter how many times I knew you lied.
Have my golden rule,
Gotta keep my cool, yeah, baby.

And even though you've had your fun,
Running around with some pretty young thing,
And even though you've had one son,
With someone who don't own a wedding ring.
No matter what I heard, I didn't say a word.
No, baby.

I've put up with your sh-- like every single day.
But now it's time to shh, and listen when I say.

You must think that I'm crazy,
You wanna replace me, baby there's,
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.
If you think for a moment,
I'd grant you annulment, just hold up there's,
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.
No way,
No way,
There's,
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.
No way,
No way,
There's,
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.
There's no way.

So you read a bible verse that I'm
Cursed 'cause I was your brothers wife.
You say it's a pity 'cause quoting
Leviticus "I'll end up kidiless all my life"
Well daddy weren't you there, when I gave birth to Mary? [Oh, hi baby]

You're just so full of sh-- must think that I'm naive.
I won't back down won't shh, and no! I'll never leave.

You must think that I'm crazy,
You wanna replace me, baby there's,
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.
If you thought it'd be funny, to send me to a nunnery, honey, there's,
Nooooo, way,
No way,
No way,
There's,
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.
No way,
Now way,
There's,
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.
There's no way.

You got me down on my knees please
Tell me what you think I've done wrong.
Been humble, been loyal, I've tried to swallow my pride all along.
If you can just explain a single
Thing I've done to cause you pain, I'll go.
No?
You've got nothing to say?
I'm not going away.
There's no way!

You must think that I'm crazy, You wanna replace me, baby, there's,
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.
You made me a wife, so I'll be queen till the end of my life.
N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way.
No way,
No way,
N-N-N-Nup-Na-Nup-Na-Nup-Na
No way,
No way,
There's,
N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-No-Way,
There's No way!

***DON'T LOSE UR HEAD [ANNE BOLEYN]***

Grew up in the French Court
Oui, oui, bonjour
Life was a chore so (she set sail)
1522 came straight to the UK
All the British dudes, lame
Epic fail

Ooh, I wanna dance and sing
Politics, not my thing
Ooo, but then I met the King
And soon my daddy said, you should try and get ahead

He wanted me, huh, obviously
Messaging me like everyday
Couldn't be better, then he sent me a letter and who am I kidding
I was prêt-à-manger

Ooh, sent a reply
Ooh, just saying hi
Ooh, you're a nice guy
I'll think about it maybe, xo baby

Here we go
(You sent him kisses)
I didn't know I would move in with his misses
(What?)
Get a life
You're living with his wife?
Like, what was I meant to do?

Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said
I'm just tryna have some fun
Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head
I didn't mean to hurt anyone
LOL, say oh well
Or go to hell
I'm sorry not sorry 'bout what I said
Don't lose your head

Three in the bed and the little one said
If you wanna be wed, make up your mind
Her or me, chum
Don't wanna be some
Girl in a threesome
Are you blind?

Ooh, don't be bitter
Ooh, 'cause I'm fitter
Ooh, why hasn't it hit her?
He doesn't want to bang you
Somebody hang you

Here we go
Your comic went viral
I didn't really mean it but rumours spiral
Wow Anne, way to make the country hate you
Mate, what was I meant to do?

Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said
I'm just tryna have some fun
Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head
I didn't mean to hurt anyone
LOL, say oh well
Or go to hell
I'm sorry not sorry 'bout what I said
Don't lose your head

Tried to elope
But the pope said nope
Our only hope was Henry
He got a promotion
Caused a commotion
Set in motion the C of E

The rules were so outdated
Us two wanted to get x-rated
Soon, ex-communicated
Everybody chill, its totes God's will

Henry's out every night on the town
Just sleeping around, like what the hell
If that's how it's gonna be
Maybe I'll flirt with a guy or three
Just to make him jell

Henry finds out and he goes mental
He screams and shouts
Like so judgemental
You damn that witch
Mate, just shut up
I wouldn't be such a b-
If you could get it up

Here we go
(Is that what you said?)
And now he's going 'round like off with her head
(No)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he means it
(Seems it)
What was I meant to do?
(What was she meant to do?)
Like what was I meant to do?
(What was she meant to do?)
No, but what was I meant to do?

Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said
I'm just tryna have some fun
Don't worry, don't worry, don't lose your head
I didn't mean to hurt anyone
LOL, say oh well
Or go to hell (she's going to hell)
Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said
Sorry not sorry 'bout what she said
Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said
Don't lose your head

Haha sorry

 ***HEART OF STONE [JANE SEYMOUR]***

You've got a good heart
But I know it changes
A restless tide, untamable

You came my way, and I knew a storm could come too
You'd lift me high, or let me fall

But I took your hand, promised I'd withstand
Any blaze you blew my way
'Cause something inside, it solidified
And I knew I'd always stay

You can build me up, you can tear me down
You can try but I'm unbreakable
You can do your best, but I'll stand the test
You'll find that I'm unshakeable
When the fire's burnt
When the wind has blown
When the water's dried, you'll still find stone
My heart of stone

You say we're perfect
A perfect family
You hold us close, for the world to see

And when I say you're the only one I've ever loved
I mean those words truthfully

But I know
Without my son your love could disappear
I know it isn't fair, but I don't care
'Cause my love, will still be here

You can build me up, you can tear me down
You can try but I'm unbreakable
You can do your best, but I'll stand the test
You'll find that I'm unshakeable
When the fire's burnt
The wind has blown
The water's dried, you'll still find stone
My heart of stone

Soon I'll have to go
I'll never see him grow
But I hope my son will know
He'll never be alone
'Cause like a river runs dry
And leaves it's scars behind
I'll be by your side
'Cause my love
Is set in stone

Yeahhh
(You can build me up, you can tear me down)
(You can try but I'm)
Unbreakable
(You can do your best, but I'll stand the test)
(You'll find that I'm unshakeable)
The fire's burnt
The wind has blown
The water's dried, you'll still find stone
My heart of stone

Can't break me
Can't break me
Stone
Can't break me
Can't break me
Stone
Can't break me
You'll still find stone
My heart of stone

***HOUSE OF HOLBEIN [THE QUEENS]***

Welcome to the house
To the Haus of Holbein
Ja, ooh ja, das ist gut
Ooh ja, ja
The Haus of Holbein

Hans Holbein goes around the world
Painting all of the beautiful girls
From Spain, to France
And Germany
The king chooses one
But which one will it be?

You bring the corsets
We'll bring the cinches
No one wants a waist over nine inches
So what the make up contains lead poison?
At least your complexion will bring all the boys in

Ignore the fear and you'll be fine
We'll turn this vier into a nine
So just say 'ja' and don't say 'nein'

'Cause now you're in the house
In the Haus of Holbein!
Ja, ooh ja, das ist gut
Ooh ja, ja
The Haus of Holbein

We must make sure the princesses look great
When their time comes for the Holbein portrait
We know what all the best inventions are
To hold everything up
Ja, it's wunderbar

For blonder hair, then you just add a
Magical ingredient from your bladder
Try these heels, so high it's naughty
But we cannot guarantee that you'll still walk at forty

Ignore the fear and you'll be fine
We'll turn this vier into a nine
So just say 'ja' and don't say 'nein'

'Cause now you're in the house
In the Haus of Holbein!

Ooh ja, das ist gut
Ooh ja, ja
The Haus of Holbein

***GET DOWN [ANNA OF CLEVES]***

Sittin' here all alone
On a throne
In a palace that I happen to own
Bring me some pheasant
Keep it on the bone

Fill my goblet up to the brim
Sippin' on mead and I spill it on my dress
With the gold lace trim
Not very prim and proper
Can't make me stop

I wanna go hunting, any takers?
I'm not fake 'cause I've got acres and acres
Paid for with my own riches
Where my hounds at? Release the bitches
(Woof)
Everyday
Head back for a round of croquet, yeah
'Cause I'm a playa
And tomorrow, I'll hit replay

You, you said that I tricked ya
'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture
Too, too bad I don't agree
So I'm gonna hang it up for everyone to see
And you can't stop me 'cause

I'm the queen of the castle
Get down, you dirty rascal
Get down
Get down
Get down you dirty rascal
Get down
Get down
'Cause I'm the queen of the castle

When I get bored
I go to court
Pull up outside in my carriage
Don't got no marriage
So I have a little flirt with the footman
As he takes my fur
As you were

Making my way to the dance floor
Some boys making advance
I ignore them
'Cause my jam comes on the lute
Looking cute
Das ist gut

All eyes on me
No criticism
I look more rad than Lutheranism

Dance so hard that I'm causin' a sensation
Okay ladies, let's get in reformation

You, you said that I tricked ya
'Cause I, I didn't look like my profile picture
Too, too bad I don't agree
So I'm gonna hang it up for everyone to see
And you can't stop me 'cause

I'm the queen of the castle
Get down, you dirty rascal
Get down
Get down (you dirty rascal)
Get down
Get down
'Cause I'm the queen of the castle

Now I ain't sayin' I'm a gold digger
But check my prenup, and go figure
Got gold chains
Symbolic of my faith to the higher power
In the fast lane
My horses can trot up to twelve miles an hour
Let me explain
I'm a wiener schnitzel, not an English flower
No one tells me I need a rich man
Doin' my thing in my palace in Richmond

You, you said that I tricked ya (tricked ya)
'Cause I (I), I didn't look like my profile picture (no no)
Too, too bad I don't agree (too bad I don't agree)
So I'm gonna hang it up (hang it up, hang it up) for everyone to see
And you can't stop, you can't stop me 'cause

I'm the queen of the castle
Get down, you dirty rascal
Get down (yeah, c'mon, ha!)
Get down (get down with me)
Get down you dirty rascal
Get down (it's Anna of Cleves)
(Aha-ha-ha, get)
Get down (ow!)
'Cause I'm the queen of the castle

***ALL YOU WANNA DO [KATHERINE HOWARD]***

All you wanna do
All you wanna do baby
I think we can all agree I'm a ten amongst these threes
All you wanna do
All you wanna do baby
And ever since I was a child I'd make the boys go wild
All you wanna do
All you wanna do baby
Take my first music teacher, Henry Mannox
I was young it's true but even then I knew
The only thing you wanna to do is...

Broad, dark, sexy Mannox
Taught me all about dynamics
He was twenty three
And I was thirteen going on thirty
We'd spend hours strumming the lute
Striking the chords and blowing the flute
He plucked my strings all the way to G
Went from major to minor, C to D

Tell me what you need
What you want, you don't need to plead
'Cause I feel the chemistry
Like I get you and you get me
And maybe this is it
He just cares so much it feels legit
We have a connection
I think this guy is different

'Cause all you wanna do
All you wanna do baby
Is touch me, love me, can't get enough, see
All you wanna do
All you wanna do baby
Is please me squeeze me birds and the bees me
Run your fingers through my hair
Tell me I'm the fairest of the fair
Playtime's over
The only thing you wanna do is...

But then there was another guy
Francis Dereham

Serious, stern and slow
Get's what he wants and he won't take no
Passion in all that he touches
The sexy secretary to the Dowager Duchess
Helped him in his office, had a duty to fulfil
He even let me use his favourite quill
Spilled
Ink all over the parchment my wrist was so tired
Still I came back the next day as he required

You say I'm what you need
All you want you don't need to plead
'Cause I feel the chemistry
Like I get you and you get me
And I know this is it
He just cares so much this one's legit
We have a real connection
I'm sure this time is different

'Cause all you wanna do
All you wanna do baby
Is touch me love me can't get enough see
All you wanna do
All you wanna do baby
Is please me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me
You can't wait a second more
To get
My corset on the floor
Playtime's over
The only thing you wanna do is...

Yeah that didn't work out
So I decided to have a break from boys
And you'll never guess who I met!

Tall, large, Henry the Eighth
Supreme head of the Church of England
Globally revered
Although you wouldn't know it from the look of that beard
Made me a lady in waiting
Hurled me and my family up in the world
Gave me duties in court and he swears it's true
That without me he doesn't know what he'd do

You say I'm what you need
All you want we both agree
This is the place for me
I'm finally where I'm meant to be
Then he starts saying all this stuff
He cares so much he calls me love
He says we have this connection
I guess it's not so different

'Cause all you wanna do
All you wanna do baby
Is touch me, love me, can't get enough see
All you wanna do
All you wanna do baby
Is seize me, squeeze me, birds and the bees me

There's no time for when or how 'cause you
Just got to have me now
Playtime's over
The only thing you wanna do is...

So we got married
Wooh...

With Henry it isn't easy
His temper's short and his mates are sleazy
Except for this one courtier
He's a really nice guy, just so sincere
The royal life isn't what I planned
But Thomas is there to lend a helping hand
So sweet, makes sure that I'm okay
And we hang out loads when the king's away

This guy finally
Is what I want, the friend I need
Just mates, no chemistry
I get him and he gets me
And there's nothing more to it
He just cares so much he's devoted
He says we have a connection
I thought this time was different
Why did I think he'd be different?
But it's never, ever different

'Cause all you wanna do
All you wanna do baby
Is touch me, when will enough be enough?
See
All you wanna do
All you wanna do baby
Squeeze me, don't care if you don't please me
Bite my lip and pull my hair
As you tell me I'm the fairest of the fair

Playtime's over
Playtime's over
Playtime's over

The only thing
The only thing
The only thing you wanna do is...

 ***I DON'T NEED YOUR LOVE [CATHERINE PARR]***

You know I love you, boy
In every single way
Though I love you, boy
I'll miss you every day

Oh I love you, boy
I wish that I could stay with you
And keep the life I made with you
And even though this feels so right
I'm holding back the tears tonight

It's true I'll never be over you
'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you
And now the hope is gone
There's nothing left for me to do

You know it isn't true
But I must say to you
That I don't need your love, no, no
I don't need your love, no, no
It'll never be better than it was, no, no
But I don't need your love, no, no

I've got no choice
With the king I stay alive
Never had a choice
Been a wife twice before, just to survive
I don't have a choice
If Henry says "it's you", then it's you
No matter how I feel
It's what I have to do
But if, somehow, I had that choice
No holding back, I'd raise my voice

I'd say "Henry, yeah it's true
I'll never belong to you
'Cause I am not your toy, to enjoy till there's something new
As if I'm gonna give up my boy, my work, my dreams
To care for you"

"Ha, darling, get a clue
There's nothing you can do
I don't need your love, no, no
No, I don't need your love, no, no
There's nothing left to discuss, no, no
But I don't need your love, no, no"

But I can't say that
Not to the king
So this is goodbye
All my love
Catherine

So I sent that letter to my love
Got married to the king
Became the one who survived
I've told you about my life
The final wife
But why should that story
Be the one I have to sing about
Just to win? I'm out
That's not my story
There's so much more

Remember that I was a writer
I wrote books and psalms and meditations
Fought for female education
So all my women could independently
Study scripture
I even got a woman to paint my picture
Why can't I tell that story?
'Cause in history
I'm fixed as one of six
And without him
I disappear
We all disappear

So we had no choice
But now it's us alone
So we've got no choice
No, we've got no choice
We're taking back the microphone
I'm gonna raise my voice
They always said:
"We need your love"
But it's time for us to rise above

It's not what went down in history
But tonight I'm singing this for me

Henry, yeah, I'm through
Too many times it's been told
And I have had enough
Love stories to get old
And you might think it's tough
But I've got to let your love run cold
We're taking back control (we're taking back control)
You need to know

I don't need your love, no, no
No, I don't need your love, no, no
Can't let it get the better of us, no, no
I don't need your love, no, no

I don't need your love (I don't need your love) no, no
No, I don't need your love (I don't need your love)
I don't need your love
I don't need your love, no-no-no-no-no
I don't need your love

We don't need your love

***SIX [THE QUEENS]***

He got down on one knee but I said no way
Packed my bags and moved into a na na nunneray
Joined the gospel choir our riffs were on fire
At the top of the charts is where I'm gonna stay
Henry sent me a poem all about my green sleeves
I changed a couple words put it on a sick beat
The song blew their minds next minute I was signed
And now I'm writing lyrics for Shakesy P
Since my first son, our family's grown
We made a band and got quite well known
You could perhaps call us the Tudor Von Trapps
I'm just kidding, we're called the Royalling Stones

We're one of a kind no category
Two many years lost in his story
We're free to take, our crowing glory
For five more minutes
We're six

What a shame yeah my face it cost me the crown
So I moved to the  Haus of Holbein in my home town
His mates were super arty but I showed them how to party
Now on my tour of Prussia everybody gets down
Music man tried it on and i was like bye
So I thought "who needs him?" I can give it a try
I learned everything
now all i do is sing... and I'll do that until I die
Heard all about these rockin' chicks
Loved every song and each remix
So I went out and found them and we laid down an album
Now I don't need your love, all I need is Six

We're one of a kind no category
Two many years lost in his story
We're free to take, our crowing glory
For five more minutes
We're six
Woah woah we're six
Wooooah we're six
Woah woah
For five more minutes

It's the end of the show of the historemix
We switched up the flow and we changed the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But we want to say before we drop the curtain
Nothing is for sure nothing is for certain
All that we know is that we used to be six wives

We're one of a kind no category
Two many years lost in his story
We're free to take, our crowing glory
For five more minutes
We're one of a kind no category
Two many years lost in his story
We're free to take, our crowing glory
For five more minutes
We're six
Woah woah we're six
Wooooah we're six
Woah woah
For five, four, three, two, one more minutes
We're six