Our Funky Fart File

This is a Hi-Tops Publication featuring a battery powered keypad with touchable keys and extraordinary farting noises.

## The Foreword

* Hey, friends!
* This is Jess Spirit, leader of my own gang called The Big Rippers!
* We aren't a bad, Mafia-style kind of gang; we're just a group of 11 friends!
* Aren't we a windy bunch?
* In this book, you'll find names and descriptions for our kookiest farts!
* Just hit a 2-digit code in the book and then push "enter" to get a fart!
* From, Jess

## The List

* 01-The Fire Extinguisher-This imitates the noise of CO2 being sprayed from a fire extinguisher.
* 02-The Real Silly Whoopee-This imitates the very, very loud noise of a jumbo whoopee cushion and makes everybody giggle!
* 03-What Just Happened?-This wet fart leaves others up in arms about who made that squidgy noise!
* 04-The Power Atom-This long, distinguished and ridiculously loud fart imitates an atom bomb booming.
* 05-The Windstorm-This fart imitates the noise of a tornado blowing.
* 06-The Hairdryer-A breezy fart that imitates the noise of a blow dryer; this fart can dry wet hair, too!
* 07-The Sparkplug-This fart imitates the noise of a race car engine revving.
* 08-The Tailpipe-This fart imitates the noise of a vrooming RV.
* 09-The Firecracker-This fart imitates a firecracker popping at a big soiree.
* 10-The Splatter-The biggest, longest, wettest and loudest fart of all!
* 11-The Stutter-This fart comes out in bits and pieces rather than a big, loud blow.
* 12-The Stinger-This imitates a wasp in the summer because of the noise and the fact that it hurts your eyes...OW!
* 13-The Shockwave-A forceful fart blown with all your might; it makes disastrously stormy weather, too!
* 14-The Flamer-This really hot fart burns your underwear!
* 15-The Canis Lupus-A bloodcurdling howl that frightens everybody in close proximity!
* 16-Intestinal Flatus Maximus-A huge fart that imitates air escaping from a great, big balloon.
* 17-Butt Balloon Pop-Short, super loud and to the point, this fart imitates a popping balloon; it is usually followed by an Intestinal Flatus Maximus.
* 18-The Squirter-This is short and wet; it also requires a trip to the lavatory.
* 19-The Nose Blower-This imitates the noise made when you blow your nose.
* 20-Horribilus-This causes wallpaper to peel away; its famous noise imitates a raspberry!
* 21-The Dinner Wrecker-This is the aftermath of a good supper; it causes painted walls to lose their colour!
* 22-Butt Socket-A really loud and low rumble that wakes deep sleepers.
* 23-Dirty Laundry-This fart makes you soil yourself; its noise imitates rain-boots in a puddle.
* 24-The Flyby-This fart imitates a soaring airplane's jet engine.
* 25-Butt Bombardier Beetle-A bunch of minuscule butt bangs that are as hot as bombardier beetle spray.
* 26-Butt Mosquito-This fart's noise imitates a mosquito's call.
* 27-The Popsicle Melter-This fart is as warm as a summer evening; its noise imitates a flag flapping in the springtime breeze.
* 28-The Squisher-This fart's noise imitates a child jumping into a mud puddle.
* 29-The Wipeout-This long, wet fart imitates the noise of somebody falling into water.
* 30-The Cockney Cheer-This absurdly loud and long fart can make a music hall echo...echo...echo...echo...echo...echo...echo...echo...echo...echo!
* 31-The Hammy Greaser-The aftermath of pork chops with Worcestershire sauce...it's lengthy and squelchy!
* 32-The Camp Crackler-A fart that imitates a crackling bonfire at summer sleepaway camp.
* 33-The Crooner-The most beautiful fart known to men, women, girls and boys, it's a breezy, airy fart reminiscent of a lounge lizard's love song in a jazzy cabaret club.
* 34-The Ratty Squeak-Often tooted by those who need more fiber, this imitates a rat's call.
* 35-The Screecher-This imitates tires screeching to a halt; it's often dealt by sports announcers and tour guides.
* 36-The Creaker Croaker-This fart starts out high and then it gets deep with rich, beefy overtones.
* 37-The 8VB-A fart that's an octave lower than usual.
* 38-The 15MB-A fart that's 2 octaves lower than usual.
* 39-The Bunny Thump-This low fart imitates bunny feet thumping; it's often dealt by magicians and blamed on audience members.
* 40-The Boogie Woogie-This fart imitates a jazzy bassline on a boogie woogie piano; it makes you want to move your feet to the steadily pulsing beat!
* 41-The Tummy Tickler-This fart is dealt often by mamas with sore bellies; it gives you butterflies in your belly and makes the kookiest, most bottom-tickling tooting noise ever!
* 42-The Engine Chuffer-This imitates a tank engine's tooting train horn.
* 43-The Blowing Tugboat-This imitates a tugboat's horn blowing really loudly to get attention from other travelers.
* 44-The Vagabond-This fart is often dealt by be-bop girls (fifties diner waitresses;) it imitates a hot rod burning rubber (going fast, fast, fast!!)
* 45-The Muted Thunder-This toot starts out as a gentle hiss and then becomes a mild rumble.
* 46-The Zeppelin-This fart is full of hot air, just like a zeppelin!
* 47-The Tactical Nuke-This fart is dangerously explosive, just like a WMD!
* 48-The Panther-This fart is fierce, just like a panther!
* 49-The Rock Star-This fart is rockin', just like an electric guitar
* 50-TBA-TBA
* 51-TBA-TBA
* 52-TBA-TBA
* 53-TBA-TBA
* 54-TBA-TBA
* 55-TBA-TBA
* 56-TBA-TBA
* 57-TBA-TBA
* 58-TBA-TBA
* 59-TBA-TBA
* 60-TBA-TBA
* 61-TBA-TBA
* 62-TBA-TBA
* 63-TBA-TBA
* 64-TBA-TBA
* 65-TBA-TBA
* 66-TBA-TBA
* 67-TBA-TBA
* 68-TBA-TBA
* 69-TBA-TBA