Revelations

*The, admittedly questionable, hippie idyll of The Woods Beyond the Woods has been shattered, and everything that can go wrong, does. After tonight, nothing will be the same. Sex, death, and secrets revealed. Now THAT's What I Call Podcasting!*

## Summary

Stirfry and Albee race through the woods, following the invading wolf’s tracks. They find Virginia’s cart with a dead horse and a floating head protecting it, declaring itself as Raytheon Shield. It absorbs and deflects their attacks, so Stirfry summons a swarm of rats to cover its face and blind it to their presence. They enter the carriage and find Virginia’s things; bottles of various components, a map following their route, and a stretched out mass of flesh on a rack that is Joshy. The two interrogate him for information and Joshy insists that Virginia is trying to help them. They doubt his words and Stirfry stabs him through the head before they depart.

Bellow and Cordelia awaken to the ruckus outside. The wolf is startled by all the sasquatches and drops Spilled Milk in the town. Finding that even his dead body interferes with their magic, Bellow burns the body. He casts Purify Food and Drink to remove the anti-magic field from the cooked pig, turning it into nothing but albino bacon. Cordelia rushes off to find the others when she sees Purity, whose illusion drops to reveal her as Virginia. Cordelia flees but she and the other sasquatches are stunned by a vision from Miracle Michael declaring that he has found the final step in their path to heaven, inviting them all to meet him at the largest tree.

Cordelia awakens from her vision to find Virginia nearby, swearing that she means no harm. She explains The Unpleasantness to her, and that she has studied Cordelia enough to know that she is a good person. She even allows Cordelia to shoot her with her crossbow to show she's not there for a fight herself. Virginia warns her about Cheddar and that he has carried The Unpleasantness over with him, and that she only wants to join them when they go to Hell so she can stop it from the inside. Cordelia explains that she no longer has the same power with her and Virginia quickly concludes that the body swap left it in one of her other friends. She leaves in pursuit of them while Cordelia checks in with Cheddar on the matter.

Frederick has been enjoying his increasingly goblinoid flesh with Leafy Green Surprise, having sex all night through the chaos. When she spaces out through the vision, Frederick sees his old skeletal self in the mirror. Frederick recognizes it as the shadowy hitchhiker from his mind; The Unpleasantness. It asks to speak to the true de Bonesby but he assures it that he is happily joined with the goblins, not interested in returning. The Unpleasantness states its disappointment, saying that it could improve the world to become more ideal and logical using Frederick’s selfish desires. It touches the Leafy Green Surprise reflection in the mirror, expressing distaste for the illogical creatures and turning her into a bear. Frederick flees as she awakens and scales the tree, only to run into Virginia. Frederick sighs “Mo body, mo problems.”

## Quotes

Branson: “The camera just tastefully pans up…”

Frederick: “Where are you going!? Get back here!”

## Links

Episode: https://rudetalesofmagic.simplecast.com/episodes/revelations