You Don't Give Up (Rhoyce Fanfic)

## "...You Don't Give Up"

The same words echoed through Rheine Kögler's mind as she curled up in the corner of her house's bathroom. She remembered that conversation as if it had been mere seconds ago.

*"Ha. Name two things about me that aren't bad."*

The taste of coppery blood filled her mouth as she bit down hard on her lower lip. Tears would have welled up in her eyes if it weren't for the fact that she had long since shed them, and that she was all out. Her sixteen year old self's sarcastic voice stuck firmly to her thoughts and so did the one that followed.

*"Since you're only making me specify two...you're not selfish and you don't give up."*

Oh, the irony of those words almost made her lips twitch into a humorless smile. Almost. Her fingernails dug deeply into her palm despite the knife handle in it. The memory faded away, and reality loomed up into her face, the stark white tiles of the bathroom almost blinding for a moment.

*I'm sorry.*

In a fluid movement that she had never foreseen she would do, the blade sliced a shallow gash in her wrist.

*I'm so, so sorry...*

Blood trickled down her arm and a single drop fell and became the first to stain the floor.

*...but you were wrong about me.*

Somehow her tear ducts found a way to refill themselves, and then there were tears trickling down her already tearstained cheeks. The hand gripping the knife momentarily went limp, but she forced it down to press a deeper wound. Her fingers were numb even as she did so, screaming why, why was she doing this? Hadn't she sworn not to so long ago? Hadn't she? Why was she breaking it?

*I **am** selfish...*

She imagined how Cecilie would react. Her first friend in Hogwarts who was actually her age. Blood continued to stain the blade as she pressed down harder. Her friend would be so...so...She couldn't think of a word on how Cecilie would exactly react. Fury, pain, and definitely misery. Was there a word for the emotional turmoil she was going to put the people who cared about through?

Valentin and Rina. The Fernandezes would be crushed. Valentin had been like a second Kale to her. Rina was that younger sister she never had. She took a brief moment to ponder about Hazelle and how she was doing. Hopefully she was happy, wherever she was.

Victoria. Her first, first friend at school. Rheine could see her crying even now, Martin trying to comfort her, trying to stop the waterworks. Trying to tell her it was going to be okay. And Tori, oh, Tori not believing him. Because it wasn't. It would be okay, yes, but it wouldn't be the same. It probably...never would be.

And finally...

*...and I did give up.*

Those blue eyes drifted into her mind's eye. Always so concerned. Always kind. And never had been full of hatred directed towards her. The metal continued to bite through, feeding on her blood. It should've cut through a vein by now. There was no turning back, she realized dimly. The room smelled of copper now, and her shirt was stained a dark, dark red.

*I did give up on you.*

Her vision swam across her eyes as her thinking slowed. Calling on her last reserves of strength, she raised and slashed a second line through her wrist.

Distantly she could hear his laugh. Somewhere out there, he was likely happy. The thought alone made her smile without volition, albeit momentarily.

*But I don't think...*

Thoughts were a mere blur, and then suddenly mush. She'd lost too much blood. Everything was slowing, everything was flickering to a standstill, including her heartbeat. The sound of her ragged breathing was soon no longer heard over the loud buzzing in her ears.

*I could ever stop loving you.*

Darkness. Darkness had swallowed up her vision, the tiny pinpricks of light fading even now. Hearing she was no longer capable of, but she was very well aware of what movement was left in her body.

*And that's one thing I'll never regret doing.*

The distant clatter of a knife falling from her grip echoed through the room.

*Boyce Schmidt...*

During the split second that determined the boundary of conscious and gone, the ghost of a smile quirked at her lips.

*I do give up.*