Blind Alley PLAN

THE CONTENTS OF THIS PAGE ARE TOP SECRET AS THEY GIVE AWAY INFORMATION ABOUT AN UPCOMING EPISODE OR ONESHOT!!! STAY OUT I'M SERIOUS!

THE CONTENTS OF THIS PAGE ARE TOP SECRET AS THEY GIVE AWAY INFORMATION ABOUT AN UPCOMING EPISODE OR ONESHOT!!! STAY OUT I'M SERIOUS!

THE CONTENTS OF THIS PAGE ARE TOP SECRET AS THEY GIVE AWAY INFORMATION ABOUT AN UPCOMING EPISODE OR ONESHOT!!! STAY OUT I'M SERIOUS!

THE CONTENTS OF THIS PAGE ARE TOP SECRET AS THEY GIVE AWAY INFORMATION ABOUT AN UPCOMING EPISODE OR ONESHOT!!! STAY OUT I'M SERIOUS!

## BUTCHERS ARCADE

Rooke's Tavern - Strip Club, Bouncer is Pinhead

Forx - Knock off Spoon's Location. Run by Gaz. Underground is completely full of fungus - a home of myconids.

# The Butcher's Beguilement

## The Bibliodome

When you reach the counter, Toutious is still there, looking extremely unimpressed. Notably, you can see that the place is slightly more empty than last time you visited and there are a few wizards wearing white and turquoise robes patrolling the area.

### Toutious

Toutious is initially displeased to see you. He will be surprised that Bertram is with you but say that there is absolutely no way you can see The Black Book. Apparently there was a break-in last night. Three individuals in robes attempted to steal the book and disappeared when we caught them. The Book as well as a few other artifacts have been locked in a vault deep beneath Alberich.

The other artifacts include Nazar's Boat - a sailing boat thought to have been used by the hero Nazar. There is evidence that the boat may have travelled as far as Acaus a thousand years ago.

#### The Break-In

The Break-in happened last night. Nothing was broken, they have no idea how they got in which is why they have to be extra careful and cautious. Grand Mage Ognat who lives in the Mage's Tower came downstairs for a midnight stroll when he saw them. Three tall men in red robes. He attempted to subdue the culprits with an ice spell but they disappeared without a trace.

### Grand Mage

If you are granted audience with the Grand Mage, you will be directed to a small side passageway leading to an enormous flight of stairs. About six stories. Without a good athletics check, you will end up rolling disadvantage for a while. When you get to the top of the stairs, you feel a sense of dread as you are met with what looks like another receptionist. This time, its a small little office room with Blue Damask wallpaper and white panelling. The walls are lined with bookshelves and in the middle of the room sits a Snowy Owlins - a humanoid Owl if you didn't know.

### Wrangel Loom

Wrangel Loom is the butler of Blastice Gnat of five years, taking over from Harvey Hustlander. When you see him he is sorting through a leather pouch of gemstones. He puts them away immediately when he sees you.

#### Gemstones

If asked about the gemstones, he will refuse to tell you. If pressed, he will tell you that they are from a Dwarves city that he was sent to a month ago.

### Blastice Ognat

Wrangel will take you to the next room which appears to be a dining room - a round table with a white table cloth is laden with tea, cakes, scones, jam, marmalade, toast, eggs, sausages, coffee... and on a plush armchair sits a small, brown little gnome donning a traditional blue pointed wizard's hat, a curly moustache and ornate robes.

"Good day, visitors. How embarrassing you catch me indulging in a late breakfast! You see I had trouble sleeping last night and today I 'ave been called away on important business so it is now that I can load up with carbohydrates! Come, join me in a flapjack or little breakfast muffin! There is plenty for everyone - my dear mother was supposed to visit today however with the recent larceny I decided it was not safe."

#### The Nazar

Blastice examines the Nazar and initially asks if he can have it. When you say no, he will agree to split it. He picks his staff up that is resting on the armchair beside him, and makes it float in the air. With a flourish, he swings the staff and a bright light emanates from the gem. It floats down to you, in five equal shards.

#### Sidequest

He will give you a side quest if allowed to split the Nazar. It shouldn't take up too much of your time and you can do it at your leisure.

His side quest will involve tracking down The Sugar Plum Fairy. He wants her alive and in his tower with the upmost secrecy. Fairies are confusing. They appear and disappear and nobody really knows where they live - maybe even another plane of existence. They are secretive and untrustworthy. But - This fairy is famous. She is a wicked little purple glob that is often found in the forests of Wisteria.

### Downstairs

Downstairs, back in the lobby, you see from behind Toutious' desk a man with a purple overcoat, long black hair, tinted glasses and a top hat leaving whilst escorted by a handful of guards. He tips his fat at Toutious as a goodbye before picking up his black letter briefcase and leaving.

#### Toutious

Toutious will tell you that that man is a detective hired to investigate. If you ask his name, he will become suspicious and not tell you.

## Hibernius Caldwell

Outside, you will spot Hibernius dipping into The Whiteroad Roost. Bertram will express that he would like to go to a patisserie with Kalabar to show him all the different kinds of cakes that are available.

Inside, the bar is quiet middling to busy. Hibernius is at the bar reviewing a pile of paperwork.

If you try to talk to him, Nancy Cobblestone will interrupt you. "One Blackberry Bramble". Hibernius signals over and she places it next to him.

"My favourite!" he says, gulping it down, blackberry garnish and all. "Another please. Single, I'm here working today."

### KNOCKY THE TOILET GNOME

Knocky is in the bathroom selling Unicorkous Aftershave, lollipops, Fumes of Emberus Cigars. He tells you that if you buy enough sweeties he will let you use the "Out of Order" Stall.

#### Out of Order Stall

1. "Love potion" - 10 gp: A vial of pink powder that you must dissolve in liquid for someone to drink.
2. Health Potion - 8gp
3. Fake IDs - 10p
4. Lockpicks - 10gp each

### Hibernius

He was hired by Ayon Loom, the chief librarian and head of The Bibliodome to investigate the break in. He suspects the Thieves Guild, The Lighthands but has no hard evidence. He thinks they were after a Black Book, a valuable magical artefact that is now thankfully safely locked away in a vault. When very drunk he will tell you tonights plan. Growles - the roughest area of Alberich. Used to be made up of tradesman's villages but its gone waaaay downhill - now its just full of pickpockets, prostitutes, drugs, homeless people, students and old people who have failed at life.There was Tanner Row for tanners, Bricklayers Quarter, Shoemaker's Boulevard... And Butcher's Arcade. Guess what Butcher's Arcade used to be? For Butchers that's right. Werehouses, Butcher Shops, Slaughterhouses, Meat Markets... Now its just a blind alley containing three of the grimiest bars you'll ever see. There's Rooke's, The Breaking Wheel, and Forx - a knockoff Spoon's location. Each one of them barely skirting under the eye of the law - simply because very few guards bother to venture down there except for a few cheap drinks. I believe that the entrance to the Thieves Guild lies within one of these pubs. And I want to find out which!

### When Hibernius is finished drinking, or if he get offended

He will walk out of the tavern and click his fingers, hiring a coach to take him to Shoemaker's Boulevard, Growles.

# BUTCHERS ARCADE

You arrive in Shoemaker's Boulevard, clearly an old rundown tradesman's village that has absolutely no life to it whatsoever. The old storefronts of shoe shops and cobblers remain, burned out, broken and mould-covered. Down the next street is a slightly more lively scene, full of people. Humans, ratfllk and gnomes cramped into a small alleyway with a rusted green sign hanging over it "Butchers Arcade". Three bars stand out as the only buildings with life. Sponge's - a converted Butcher's Shop... The Breaking Wheel - a converted Slaughterhouse/Werehouse, and Rooke's the building at the end of the street which is the converted headquarters for the Butcher's Guild. The paint is peeling off every building, everyone around appears stinky and high. Students rampage around the streets... Lining the messy cobbled path are several rusty poles attached together by frayed rope. On this rope are several meat hooks, remnants from a time about eighty years ago when butchers would have to transport carcasses up and down the street. Now students jovially grab onto these hooks and use the lines as ziplines – showing off to their friends and girls drunkenly. The smell of dried blood thickens the air, like the ghosts of 10,000 dead pigs have stayed here invisibly.

### Hibernius

You know, about eighty or ninety years ago Growles was an absolute centre of commerce. Everyone in the city used to get their meat from Butchers Arcade - even the monarchy. Then they got into some kind of controversy... People said that they dealt with pirates. No evidence ever came about but people going missing, people being blackmailed. It just eventually led to what we have now. A shithole.

## Sponge's

Sponge's is the abandoned Butcher's shop - the exterior still retaining remnants of it. A glass display window, green building trimmings... Before you go in, a stout, warty Bullywug approaches you and grabs Lysander on the shoulder.

### Inside

Inside the stink of dried blood continues but is battled by competing scents of cheap mead and mushrooms. The bar seems to be full of old people. Old, ugly people of varying and sometimes indistinguishable races. Fat, warty Bullywugs and Ogres. Hunchbacked humans in dark cloaks. The atmoshphere is tense.

At the bar you see a slightly familiar sight. A newspaper rack on the counter - Sponge's News. A sign "Purchase Sponge Tokens Today - Become a Member". The menu has a variety of drinks - Rice Wine, Mead, Darkies, Orbjuice, Volcanic Panic...

Rice Wine - 4cp

Darkies - 5cp

Orbjuice - 3cp

Organic Panic - 1sp

Every time you order anything, you get the same wooden flagon of brown water. Drinking it will cause so much disgust that it requires a constitution check of DC17+ to not take 1hp. Anything below DC5 will cause 2hp loss.

### Murr Rose

Murr Rose is a well-dressed handling in a nice, clean suit who looks awfully out of place. He is clearly nervous and everyone in the bar keeps glancing at him

### Trill

Trill - a bullywug kitted out in a skimpy pink outfit and heavily caked makeup is crying in the corner over her martini glass of brown water. She was fired by Rooke's because she refused to service a customer who offered a huge bag of money to sleep with her. They never get rich patrons and this man was dodgy. A ratfolk with broken teeth - said he had light hands.

### Sponge's News

The front page just says Sponge's News in big letters. The next page is SPONGE DATING - INTERESTED PARTIES SHOULD ENQUIRE AT DESK

#### Sponge

Hello. I am Sponge. I like to think of myself as a man of simplicity and routine. I find comfort in the familiar and take solace in the monotonous rhythm of everyday life. When not pulling pints, I enjoy reading and writing the news. No hobbies. Maybe we can share your's?

#### Poo Ed

Says what he thinks, no filter. Don't like it, don't respond. Love curry and hate goblins.

#### Frud

Bullywug. Down on luck after Bullymarsh collapse. Live in Growles. Has baby.

### Sponge

The Bartender is sponge. He is a pale, skinny halfling wearing brown dungarees and a yellow jumper. He has bags under his eyes that are almost as big as the eyes themselves and a sad, wispy moustache.

"Heroes. I am Sponge and this is Sponge's. What can I help you with today?"

### In the Back

You open the door to the back room to see a fairly ordinary, if not disorganised storage room. Piles of barrels of Darkies, Rustreyer Gin. Perceptive players can notice that all of these crates and barrels are marked with official seals. If opened, the brew inside reeks. There is a thick layer of mold on top.

Inside, you see an ent scooping brown water out of a horse's trough pushed up against the wall. He turns with the noise of the door and stares. His arms are spindly, his face is cracked and his sides are covered in a brown-yellow fungi that clings to him.

#### Rimmark - https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/17037-treant - He can also throw barrels. Fire is double damage - bludgeoning and piercing is half.

You will notice a yellow-brown cluster of mushrooms on the wall reaching the ceiling which, now that you look at it, has a damp and brown patch that looks like its about to cave in.

### Sponge

Asking Sponge about the attic will reveal nothing. He says its just a disused storage area for one of the Smokehouses next door thats closed down.

## Mycnonids

the air grows thick with an earthy, fungal scent. The sound of their footsteps becomes muffled as they step onto a spongy floor covered in a layer of moist, decaying leaves and mycelium. The walls of the chamber are lined with pulsating fungal growths, emitting a sickly bioluminescent glow that casts eerie shadows across the room.

In the center of the room, four large yellow and brown toadstools that twitch as you enter and turn to you. These are mychonids.

They moan like Eggans from LKS

Your lungs fill with the horrible scent, your throats feel hairy. The mushrooms waddle over to googar and reach out their white arms. They speak with their spores, only to Googar.

*"You are a foreign spore. Join us here and in unity and grow with us. We sense that you are present far and wide. Just as are we. Come."*

https://dr-eigenvalue.github.io/bestiary/creature/deathcap-myconid

# The Breaking Wheel

### Exterior

* Disused Werehouse / Slaughter House.
* Export Holes for Carts Boarded Up
* Music and Talk from inside

### Bouncer

* Bouncer
* How tough are ya

### Inside

Inside appears to be a bar themed around execution. Nooses hang from the high warehouse ceiling, everything is dark and black. Axes and Swords displayed on the wall. Despite its inherent seediness, its pretty well kept.

The people, though. They're all ugly and huge. All fighting and yelling and drinking and swearing. There's a bar where the tenders seem to be ran off their feet, tossing drinks to patrons left right and centre. There's a giant wooden staircase at the far end of the room leading to a wooden box, presumably for the old Slaughterhouse foreman to look down at his workers. There's a chair in the far corner swarming with people and a heavily tattooed orc stood there screaming "ONE AT A TIME, ONE AT A TIME. HIGHEST PAYER GETS INKED FIRST"

### Stage

* Rimmark scurries onto stage to boos and cries. "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS" "BOOOO" "GET OFF THE STAGE YOU SKINNY FAGGOT"
* You see him take out his fiddle and look around, sweat pouring from his brow
* From all the pressure he up and keels over snoring on the stage, fainted.
* The crowd go ravenous. "MUSIC! WE WANT FUCKING MUSIC! MUSIIIIC!"

### Menu

* Guillotine Grog - 7cp
* Hangman Highball - 8cp
* Dungeon Daiquiri - 7cp
* Sorrow Sour - 6cp
* Malbevvycas, a Reckedan Seshvetica Invention - 6co

### Owner

The owner of this establishment - Arthur Waltho approaches you (if you don't enter with Rimmark). He tells you that you don't look like the bar's regular patrons and asks who you're working for? NHW? Nivious Health Wing? He invites you up on stage to introduce yourselves. He keeps egging you on to elaborate on your speeches. Afterwards, he puts a noose around the worst one's neck and asks the audience "WHAT DID YA MAKE OF THAT FOLKS?"

#### Asked about the theme

Arthur will reveal that executions fascinate him. His father used to be an executioner and this site used to be a slaughterhouse for animals. Ironic, as if not for the act of lawful execution, this building would still be full of the squeals of dying pig. The head of the Butcher's Guild. Mr. Fatback. He was executed by the state. Set in a chain of events that led to the revolution that is overcoming this street. What budding commerce. Breaking Wheel, Rooke's... Such a great use of wasted space.

The audience starts chanting different words some of them like "HANG HANG HANG" some of them like "AXE AXE AXE"

Im hearing axe! From the wings comes this huge burly man, face obscured by a black mask. He's holding an enormous axe and he's coming right for you. Arthur moves out of the way and the audience cheers.

#### Winner

If you win the fight, Arthur will approach you. "Very well done, lads. We could use great talent like you in our ranks. Come upstairs for a drink, why don't you?"

#### Upstairs

If you manage to sneak up the stairs towards the manager's office, you will come to a door and you hear speaking inside. A female voice and a male voice.

*"So, Mr. Sykes... Whose head would you like?"*

*"Just one head. And with the upmost urgency. He's investigating us and he's in Butcher's Arcade as we speak. Detective Hibernius Caldwell."*

*"I have heard of the man. Pay your toll and his head shall roll"*

You hear a strange squelching sound.

*'Very well."* You hear a window open and then silence. The door to the office swings open to reveal a grey, snivelling ratfllk named Sykes.

Ask about the Thieves Guild

I'm sure that this alley has a variety of immoral and illegal businesses in it's underbelly. But we wouldn't know anything about that.

# Rooke's

* Bouncer is Pinhead - a aggressively gay Orc with a small head and a large body.
* Club full of dancing Bullywugs
* Lysander can't bring himself to go into the back rooms
* Hibernius Caldwell getting a dance, as is a rich rat named Grankel

## Basement

One of the back rooms is sealed off - no entry allowed at all. Pinhead will attack you if he sees you going inside. The room is actually empty. Perceptive players will notice that there are some cogs barely visible under the couch. When sat upon, the couch will begin to lower and lower away from Rooke's and into a basement - old muddy and disused - it appears that this is an old office of The Butcher's Guild. There are several crates piled up in the corner of the room and a desk that contains a few scrap pieces of parchment. There is a pot of dried up ink and a pair of fine leather boots under the table.

### Crates

The crates are sealed tightly shut. With a weapon or a strength check, you will see that they are completely filled with rotten meat. A perception check will reveal that under this meat is a stash of rapiers - all rusty and encrusted with meat.

### Letter

*Ossenworst Fatback of The Butcher's Guild*

*I am writing for the final time to inform you that your guild has been officially disbanded by order of Lord President Turnblad. Your constant smuggling, illegal practices and partnerships with known pirates has forced our hand and we ask that you cease all operations and completely vacate Butcher's Arcade, which will be promptly repurposed. Refusal to do so will lead to severe legal penalties.*

*All the best,*

*Ronald Stone, Captain of the Alberich Guard*

Perceptive players can find a "Golden Cleaver" in this room, an equippable weapon. You will also notice a foul smell of rotting meat coming from the crates.

### The Door

The door is stone and completely shut - with a circular slot for a coin of some kind.

### Sophia Darkkettle

"Hold it right there. I've been looking for you, you detective. You were busy getting your little rocks off with one of the Bullywug girls you filthy man. You got so far. The snivelling rat didn't tell me that you had friends. A pansy elephant, an out-of-shape wannabe and a mushroom. Nothing I can't handle with my big fucking sabre.