recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Pain and Torture

I just feel like putting this out on here

HUMANS LIVE, LIVE, LIVE FOR TORTURE!! The reason we are here is to be heartbroken, angered, destroyed. And you know what?

We *like* it.

Ah, I can see the confusion in your eyes.

*I don't like being hurt or bullied,* you say. *It's painful!!*

Yes, yes it is. No one likes torture except for truly mad ones.

*Ahm, but that means, if what you said is true, that means we're ALL insane!!* You cry.

Why do we live? Why don't we just give up and die? How have we advanced? These questions are hard to answer, but I can try.

Willpower.

We accept *torture* and *pain* as "lessons".

Fall off a cliff and survive? You learn to be more careful.

You *want* to learn more. That means you *want* more torture. Mistakes are lessons.

But some don't accept the lesson. They give up in the middle of the struggle.

They lose the will to *live.*

*YOU ARE INSANE!!* You might screech. Well, I guess I am, but aren't we all? A caterpillar doesn't become a butterfly without the struggle.

We *live* for PAIN and TORTURE, because it's the only way.
I am nobody

at the end of the year, this girl walked up to me and literally fucking shook me and began saying "you have no civil rights. you are nobody." as if i was a disobedient dog and needed to get this in my head. maybe she's right.

after all, theres been a whole damn army of people who definetly think that. their goal: get me to go for real this time. their ways of achieving this:

-calling me names

-deleting my school work on a computer

-cheating off me on one of their tests (i caught one plagiarizing)

-telling everyone to not sit with me-leaving me with two people at lunch

-making shitty comments in science to get everyone to laugh

i, on the other hand have no army. after all, im nobody, so why would i?

but then she showed up. she became one of my best friends; and we shared our weebiness. she helped me make new friends and introduced me to a new army. one of invisible people who are always on my side.

until one day...my 'friend' told everyone about the invisible people.

she told them about a show i watch. and everyone hates it. im kinda nervous to say it, so i won't for now.

ever since, none of the invisible people have showed up, because after all, im nobody.

at first i thought it was just family who was against everything i did. guess not. friends are on that boat too.

nobody seems to have lost everything. i have no civil rights, friends or family in reality.

only in my imaginary world ive been hiding from everyone, i have my friends, family, and everyone can see my invisible friends.

and we're off kicking ass and saving the world.

but since i am nobody, that's not happening in reality.

...or, am i somebody?

...but if im somebody...when will reality and fantasy become one?

It's definitely happening, I'll tell you that.

i hope your right. thank you.
Lack of Love

You keep saying you feel like I'm falling out of love with you.

So what do I try to do? I try to make things up.

After all, my priorities got mixed up, and you were kind of shoved down further than I wanted.

So what ends up happening?

Well, after a long and bad day, I expect to see you and we have a decent time.

Maybe not the best, but not the worst.

But instead, not even 2 MINUTES IN.

You decide to hack someone...'

I dated you because of how selfless and heart-filled you were.

And here you are being a complete asshole and the very thing you're against.

And when I protest, you get this smug-cunt attitude.

Like I'm not actually gonna do anything.

Well now I feel heartbroken, so how about I make you feel the same.

Would that make you open your fucking eyes?
Obsession

You think and think and think about it

It keeps you up at night, it's in your dreams

It's in your life....

You keep obsessing over this

You know it's not healthy

It's literally making you sick

But no matter what you do

You always come back to it

Your thoughts, feelings, emotions, your state of mind now revolves around this

What can you do though

Try to forget about it?

Try to get rid or "solve" it?

You know you can't do either, you know it's seemingly impossible

So then...I guess we'll talk about this later

Wait, you're still thinking about it 5 minutes later?

Well then, back to square one....
Excommunicated

Alright, I'll admit to having been an abusive cunt. But I can't control my actions much. Some of you know this, but I have been diagnosed with Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD) and I'm depressed all the damn time. Every moment of every day I feel depressed. What differentiates this form of depression from others is that it's *constant*, meaning it's always there and it doesn't fade. It'll be there for my entire life, most likely. I'm sorry for everything guys, I know I've been horrible. I won't kill myself, it won't solve anything. I just wanted to let you all know.
I don't even know anymore

Honestly I don't even know anymore. I'm writhing in agony right now. It's how it is every night. Every night I start clutching my head and pulling at my hair in torturous agony. I can't see very well through tears. I'm weak for crying. They tell me I'm weak for crying for being mocked so much.

WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?

IM DONE BEING ALL FUCKING COMPOSED HERE

IM DONE JUST CALMLY EXPRESSING MY FEELINGS

I KNOW I HURT HER

IVE BEEN IN FUCKING AGONY FOR MONTHS BECAUSE OF IT

ARE YOU FUCKERS HAPPY????? DOES IT FUCKING TURN YOU ON THAT I'M CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP??????

CONGRATS, YOU BROKE A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD BOY

SUCH HEROES, AM I RIGHT?

YOU SURE SHOWED HIM

EVERY FUCKING NIGHT IM REMINDED OF WHAT I FUCKING DID

AND THEN YOU *LAUGH* ARROGANTLY AS IF YOURE PROUD OF WHAT YOURE DOING TO ME

ARGH

IM IN HORRIBLE AMOUNTS OF PHYSICAL FUCKING PAIN AND IT TAKES ALL MY STRENGTH TO GO ABOUT MY DAY WITHOUT BREAKING DOWN AND CRYING MY EYES OUT

IVE BEEN THROWING UP AND IVE HAD STOMACH PROBLEMS BECAUSE OF ALL THIS FUCKING STRESS

I MIGHT BE TAKEN TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL

ARE YOU HAPPY? YOUVE ALMOST HOSPITALIZED A FIFTEN YEAR OLD. YOU GUYS REALLY ARE THE BEST.

IVE BEEN FULL OF REMORSE BECAUSE OF WHAT I FUCKING DID, IM READY TO MOVE ON

WHEN WILL YOU FUCKERS STOP MILKING IT? ITS NOT LIKE I FUCKING KILLED OR RAPED HER OR SOMETHING, I KNOW I HURT HER AND I KNOW IT WAS BAD, BUT YOUVE ALL INFLICTED THE SAME AMOUNT OF FUCKING PAIN ON ME IN THE SPAN OF FIVE MONTHS

WHEN WILL YOU STOP? WILL YOU EVEN STOP?

...do you feel no remorse? No regret?

I was right to fear you. I always said I did. I never faltered. You've proven that you can destroy a person and his family. My fucking grandmother is sick from all this stress. She's been seeing me cry and it's killing her. She can't handle anymore stress, and neither can I. For the love of God, stop mocking me. Stop yelling at me. Leave it in the past. Please. Move on. Because I can't fucking handle any more of this. You can call me what you fucking like, I don't give a damn. If I'm weak for having feelings, then I'm weak.
Sneaking Game (June 1944)

You believe that the best course of action is to sneak around the four unwary guards and take up defensive positions around the building.

Initially the advance goes remarkably well, your luck holds and all five of you seamlessly move past the guards and began your circle to the empty rear of the next building. Suddenly a pair of German soldiers stagger out of the building adjacent. All of your soldiers freeze and it appears as if you are stuck in between the groups of enemies. Your heartbeat becomes tangibly loud and the two soldiers move ever closer. It is time for a split-second decision:

Stay still and hope the soldiers are clueless

Open fire at the two soldiers and race forwards to the building hoping no return fire can be target towards you
Welp, I REALLY Hate Myself Right Now

I fucking hate myself right now. I just got told a bunch of people, who I thought I was good friends with, actually hate me a ton.

Why is this, you probably don't ask.

Well, I made shipping jokes and it went on for too long and I took it too far. When I realized this, I felt awful, and tried to apologize to those people. They *said* they forgave me. Problem solved, right?

I guess not. Even after I tried multiple times to help people with issues they were having (sleep issues, stress, social shit, etc), they still don't forgive me apparently. I had assumed they didn't really want to talk because they want to talk to people they know better.

This probably won't do anything because most of the people I've pissed off don't come on when I'm on, or at all now. But if they do, I'm showing this to the people I made shipping jokes about. I'm really sorry, and I'm almost tearing up just typing all of this down.

Please, I want to make up for it. Tell me what I can do, please.

I can't believe I went this long without knowing, too. It fucking breaks my heart and shits on it.
Thoughts

Sometimes

I wonder what other ppl think of me.

I wonder if my Band Teacher thinks I'm a idiot who can't make a single peep on the flute.

Because I can't.

I wonder if I'm worthy enough to be on this wiki.

Of course I am. This wiki is for everyone.

But with all these, um,

I don't know how to call others without offending them,

but I have to call them something, so...

With all these better-known wikians,

I feel sorta...

....Unworthy?

.....Please I don't mean to offend. I know you all are the same as me, but...

Um...

I don't really know how to do this without upsetting people.

Lets move to something else.

I try not to offend ppl but it's hard not to.

SOME PPL R SO FRICKING ANNOYING!!

Now, dear reader, you are probably not a person that I dislike.

I normally TRY to think good of others

And normally I do

but then

I wonder,

"What do people think of me?"

I think of myself as:

Self-Conscious

Pity-Partier

Idiotic

A whiny Person

But what, good reader, do you think of me?

Say whatever u want, good or bad.

I want to know.
A Pest's Lonely Thoughts

So much for vacation. It's only been two days since I was last here, but whatever. It helps to just vent here. Distracting myself has been helping me a shit ton. I don't think I've genuinely smiled in a long time, but I've at least been able to fake it. The days are starting to just blur together. I've been in unbearable agony for months, but I've grown accustomed to it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I guess. When school starts I'm sure it'll go by even faster. It's funny, I've reached a sort of apathy towards the venkons' clear hatred of me. I've stopped feeling down every time I think of the war. I can't feel much. Just what's left of my immeasurable guilt. That's probably a good thing. Just a little over a month left. I don't know what I'm going to do when I get back. I try not to dwell on it too much. I'm not used to this exile having a clear end, so thinking about it can be weird. I've suffered a shitload throughout this mess. Well, here goes nothing I guess. I just have to last the remainder of this exile. And this time I won't contact anyone beforehand. I feel... almost disconnected. It's somewhat refreshing. I don't know if they're going to keep their word with this retrial. But it's my only shot at redemption at this point. I've noticed the wiki's been rather empty. Well, it's nothing new I guess, Nicole's sorta the only one contributing. I'll make sure to change that once I'm let back. Browsing random pages and fixing mistakes was a legitimate hobby of mine back in the day anyway. I got next school year's schecule today. I'm a little apprehensive but otherwise I feel confident in my abilities. Well, back to exile I go. This was certainly refreshing. I should just vent here more often.
I hate some people

Today was quite a bad day. At least i got to leave school early to go to that dentist appointment. But the rest of the day? Very bad. To start it off my class had to have a teaching assistant because my usual teacherwas at the hospital checking on how her son was. Then the girl sitting next to me (as usual) stole my pencil case! But this certain day I was feeling VERY angry I don't know why but I just was. Well I didn't know then it was going to be a bad day. I usually just leave her messing with my mess with my pencil case but today I was feeling so angry I snatched it off her. Then she said "I'm telling off you because you snatched it off me!" She always tries to scare me by this but it never works. She never does. Now i don't have a pencil case because its cool or anything. Its because i need it. When i get nervous you see my hands and sometimes my feet get so sweaty my hands slip down the pens or pencils from school. So my mum and dad got me these special pens and pencils with grips on them. Anyway once I was writing a story in my literacy book and I just got to the bit were the cat grown life size and opened the door for me when she reached her hand across my book and grabbed the pencil case and took the sharpener out. Once she sharpened her pencil she said "can I keep this pencil sharpener?" I said no but she just said "thanks" and took the sharpener and put it into her side of the table. Then one of the girls on the other table asked to borrow the sharpener. Then the girl next to me said "can have MY sharpener if you want." The girl on the other table shrugged and said 'ok' after I realised what she was doing I got so annoyed I got out of my chair and asked for my sharpener back rather furiously. The girl on the other table asked 'oh is it your sharpener?' "YES!" I kind of quietly shouted. She shrugged again and gave it back to me. Then the girl sitting next to me said 'give me back that sharpener right now or I'll hurt you.' Then I said "you won't hurt me! You never hurt me!" "Oh yeah? Well this will hurt you!" She said literally tapping my leg with her fists in a punching shape. "That doesn't hurt AT ALL" i said. "Oh your challenging me huh? Well this better hurt!" She said poking me with the non - sharp end of her pencil. "That doesn't hurt either!" I said. She was silent for the rest of that lesson. So that's really the end of this day cause nothing much happened after that. But still a very stressful day.
Field Camp in England

After a long ship ride to Aldbourne, England the real training starts. Foxholes, high altitude and low altitude jumps, weapon training, and tactical training. Lt. Sobel seems to very jumpy in the field, often leading Easy Company to losses, but he was replaced by Lt. Mien, thankfully.

Winters was promoted to Lt. and Easy Company got a new Lieutenant Compton, a highly competent commander. Malarky was promoted to Sergeant and you were the first to congratulate him and then you were promoted to Corporal and he was the first to congratulate you. Rumblings spread through the camp about takeoff would be May 30 or June 4 or June 12 have become the newest topic around camps.

You set up a pool between third squad:

Malarky bets on June 5, Nielson bets on May 30, Patrick bets on June 1, Penkala bet on June 5, Gordon bets on June 6, Smoky bets on June 3, Woods bets on June 2, Ramirez bets on June 10, and Perconte bets on June 4.

What do you bet?

June 5

June 6

June 7
Training at Camp Toccoa

You go to training at Camp Toccoa, Georgia, a long from hoe and it's hot. Not the best recipe for success, but you have been put in a great unit with a bunch of guys like you. In fact, Pvt. Donald Malarky actually lived within 10 miles of you, in Seattle. Unfortunately for everyone in the company, it is run by Lieutenant Sobel, who demands excellence and forces Easy Company to work twice as hard as the other companies and often turns on his men for the slightest infractions. For instance he dinged you for having dust on your helmet once then made you double time Currahee.

Currahee is the giant three mile hill which Easy Company has to go up nearly every day and sometimes twice a day. It's like hell, but a lot steeper and harder to escape the devil (or Sobel for that matter).

On the next to last week you see Pvt. Webster, the Harvard graduate, and Pvt. Hoobler, the youngest, start to yell and puch each other. At this point you:

Intervene and try to get them to make up, hopefully before Sobel sees

Leave before Sobel shows
A Helping Hand

I tried to help. I didn't mean any harm... I didn't mean to stress anyone out. I just tried my best to help someone out. I don't wanna go back into exile... I'm scared... God no... I don't want my insanity to return. I just wanted to help someone who was down. I know I hurt her. I'm trying my best to make up for it. I know rebuilding trust takes time. I expected to be trusted... I was a fool. God damn it...
Venting

Before I begin I'd like to warn all readers, *especially Nicole,* that are currently going through a rough time to turn away. I just need to write things down, I don't mean to start anything. I pray nobody ever reads this. But here goes—

Sometimes I feel like the worst human on the planet. I know, I'm being over-dramatic, especially when one consideres the likes of Adolf Hitler or any criminal. But I feel pathetic and weak, like I don't matter. Like I'll never matter. I try helping but no matter what I feel like I'm not doing enough. This seems to be universal—most of you who know me know I always strive for straight A's and most of the time I am able to achieve said goal despite the hard Honors and AP classes I repeatedly put myself through. But even now, I feel as though this is not enough for me to be happy. It's almost the same as with the war—it's as if I have no effect on it.

Now, I know Ambrose went on this whole "Iron-Fisted Compatriots" spiel, but how does that help us? It's not like I can reform that group or something, as of now I'm a 14 year old freshman. Speaking of being a freshman, it's the absolute worst in my school. I get harassed on the fucking daily and it quite honestly sucks. I have one person and one person only to thank for getting me through this every day, and that is, of course, Nicole. She makes every day bearable. I sincerely hope she never reads this page, because I don't want her to worry about me. I'm not gonna die anytime soon, at least I hope.

Most of you who know me know I am a Catholic, and as a Catholic I am asked to either give something up or do something extra for Lent. I seem to be the only one in my whole damn school that takes this seriously, so I chose to be less negative, for myself and for my girlfriend Nicole. I know this seems dumb, and I know most think I will just go back to doing so afterwards, but I am very committed to improving. But I can't keep everything bottled up forever, so this wiki serves that purpose rather well.

So now that the whole negativity rant is over, I can continue venting. I'm going to be honest, I feel as if I don't help my friends enough. I seem to let down the venkons, my real friends, the only ones I'd trust with my life. It... hurts. It just hurts.

I'm going to wrap up this page, and although I sincerely hope she never reads this page either I'd like to thank Shy for making this wiki. It helps when I'm most desperate. And Nicole, if you read this page anyway, I'm sorry. I just need a place to vent is all, I don't want to start anything. I swear.

BlackSmithy out.
It's My Fault

It's my fault

It's always been my fault

"Why don't you go outside?"

I do go outside! I rollerskate, I practice my calligraphy. I don't know what else you want from me.

It's my fault

I go hiking, I take beautiful photos, I work around the house when you ask me to. I don't understand why you yell at me when I go into my room?

It's always been my fault

God dammit, not again. Not this bullshit self-hate. Not again.

It just is

I... I do have friends, honestly. Yes, but... they don't care about me. I'm just... "The Girl Next Door" clichè. I'm just the weirdo in class who listens to Bon Jovi. I'm just the girl who has too many guy friends but can't get a date.

Don't say it's not

Because I know it is

It's always been my fault for not being there for my brother. (Well I don't know how he feels, I'm not like him!) It's my fault for being in my room all day. (Crazy Lady literally lives right next door!) It's my fault for not exercising and getting sunlight as often as I should. (It's because you're always at work and you're too tired when you come home!)

I guess it really is

Just my fault.
No no no

god why me

this isnt the first time ive had to break up with someone - probably not the last, either.

i just wish i didnt had to say it

it fucking hurts when he tells me that i was doing something wrong the entire time

thanks for making this situation fucking better, asshole

sorry

you lost that right

douchebag, jerk, fuckface

asshole was an endearing term

you lost the right to call me love, to call me dear, to call me cutie

you lost the right to my name

to my heart

to my soul

it makes me sick just trying to type this out

and call me a fucking coward for hiding behind a long forgotten wiki

and its true

i am a coward

im a bitch who has anger issues

and emotional baggage that no one can solve
People...

So, if I have to be honest, people are very annoying... Yes, I do have anger problems making this worse for me, but who here ever had annoying people in school? The answer for everyone is we all have. It depends on which type of person we are talking about. For me, the worst person is the sporty ones that are snooty and think they are better...

WIP
W-What? Yo-You Can't!

NO!

You can't leave!

Not after everything we've been through!

No, please! Don't let them take me away!

PLEEEEEEAAAsssseeee.. -you hear inhumane noises and sobbing, then dead silence-

You knew you shouldn've let your friend go.. but you knew they would get you...

Have you made the right choice?

I hope you did.
Still here?

"You have previously requested that we close your account. You still have 0 days left until your account is closed. If you still wish to close your account, simply go back to browsing FANDOM. However, if you would like to reactivate your account, please click the button below and follow the instructions in the email."

Yeah, my account is stuck at zero? I've been logging on to check every day.

Oh, by the way, I took note that you're using the bot I made. Christ, I never thought I'd see that again.
Happy 19th!

Seeing as I'm exiled and I can't leave a message anywhere, happy 19 to you fuckers! I've been in large amounts of agony, but this puts a smile on my face. It's 12:00 AM and it's storming. This is gonna be great. I've started on my eighteen days, meaning my exile is just about done. Fucking. **Finally.**

In fact, to celebrate, I tried making something. It uh, didn't come out so good. I'm pretty bad at art. But hey, at least I actually tried. And I didn't edit it or anything, I actually made it by hand! Well, by stylus, but... you get the idea.

(Except the text. I typed that out.)
結衣

世人都愛蘿莉，但是這個蘿莉不是壹般的蘿莉，她是最為強大的存在
近程魔法輸出，擁有能夠削減敵方最大血量的技能，奧義能夠召喚出GM之劍給予敵人毀滅性打擊

**奧義：程式毀滅**

單體輸出

**程式混噸**

隨機混亂敵人

**程式格式化**

對敵人造成傷害，減少生命上限，持續15秒，可以疊加5層

**被動技能：程式重構**

受到攻擊降低對手攻擊力，直到戰鬥結束

## **點評：**

結衣是競技場必備英雄，作為本版本競技場最BUG的英雄，名副其實的競技場王者。

2技能混亂，這個技能在競技場真是逆天了，控制時間不但長，而且基本上只要被控制了，就是被場上其他所有人集火的。不死也殘廢了，而且時光開啟奇點後每秒還掉血。

3技能減少血上限10%，還能疊加5層，無論是競技場還是推圖打BOSS，都是神技，特別是公會BOSS……這英雄商店就有，所以看見結衣碎片，不要猶豫，換吧，他絕對是性價比最高的英雄了。

小喵覺得結衣是最強的輔助英雄，他能疊加式減少對方生命值上限，壹個恐怖的技能，此外還能降低對方的攻擊力持續到戰鬥結束，這無疑是對對方沈重的打擊。
鑄造師

最強大的鑄造師，壹個能打鐵的妹子，妳還能指望她很文靜？

近程魔法控制，擁有擊倒的控制技能。 釋放奧義時能夠從異次元空間拿出桌椅板凳砸向敵人，在打斷敵人的同時對目標造成較大傷害

## **技能介紹：**

奧義：雅蠛蝶

鑄造師重重的放下錘子，快速朝前方投擲各種武器，投擲的物品無穿透效果，即擊中目標後消失。

重擊

奮力舉起雙手錘，並朝正前方地面砸出，帶有擊倒效果。

花樣旋轉

鑄造師提起雙手錘旋轉壹圈，傷害並擊退周圍怪物，帶擊退效果。

被動技能：鑄劍師

可以用錘子發揮出劍的實力，普通攻擊有幾率觸發連斬。

## **點評：**

玩過競技類遊戲的玩家都知道，控制系的英雄壹直都被看好，在夢幻神域手遊中，鑄造師就是這樣類型的英雄之壹，這個英雄技能全部都是控制系，擊退、擊暈、擊退、而且還能控制對方無法移動，不管是遠程、近程陣容的搭配，小喵覺得這個英雄是必備的。
Static

'My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?
All who see me scoff at me;

they mock me with parted lips, they wag their heads:

"He relied on the LORD; let him deliver him,

let him rescue him, if he loves him."

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?

Indeed, many dogs surround me,

a pack of evildoers closes in upon me;

They have pierced my hands and my feet;

I can count all my bones.

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?

They divide my garments among them,

and for my vesture they cast lots.

But you, O LORD, be not far from me;

O my help, hasten to aid me.

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?

I will proclaim your name to my brethren;

in the midst of the assembly I will praise you:

"You who fear the LORD, praise him;

all you descendants of Jacob, give glory to him;

revere him, all you descendants of Israel!"

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?'

This exile has been agonizingly tearing apart my mind since it began. And yet there's still more. There's always more. How could this have happened to me? I'm treated like an animal whenever I approach them. I'm a pest. I've been subject to tortures worse than anything I've ever felt. Deep inside me I feel a resentment for this. But I can't exactly help my case. Ambrose mocks me. Nicole mocks me. WC mocks me. Xander mocks me. They surround me like a pack of wolves. I ask the Lord for help and yet I feel no solace. I can't feel. And just now I've discovered there's more to come. More mocking. More yelling. More, more, more, more, it never ends! By God, it never ends! I'm tearing at my head, trying to get it out. There's anger growing within me but I musn't act on it. I can't act on it. Nicole told me destroying my mind was intentional. Was it really a just punishment for what I did? I can't think about anything anymore. I hope they feel relieved knowing I've been in agonizing pain. I've changed these past few months. I've become a shadow of who I once was. I can't write anymore, I'm going to stop.
Nothing At All

Why... God almighty, why... I can't forget it... I can't no matter how much I tey to put it behind me... every time I always get reminded... I've tried so hard to improve... I've done so much to make it better.... and they still rejected me... God, why... Why can I never find any friends... why can I never find anyone to talk to... my fucking birthday is in a few days and no one will be there... no one... not that it's anything unusual, but... oh God, I'm crying so hard while I write this... I feel the weight of my sins on my shoulders... I see progress but every time I get reminded of the loop the weight increases... every... time... I can't put that place behind me... Why..
H-Hello..? Are You There..?

I'm scared...

The monsters will come...

They always come for me...

Are you there?

I hope you are...

I hope the monsters don't catch you..

I hope you're okay...

You're lonely, aren't you?

Isn't that why you've come here? To be lonely?

You're not alone anymore.

I'm here.

I'm always here.

Don't be afraid.

The monsters won't come if we're not afraid.

You're not lonely anymore..
Pre-emptive goodbye

Oh dear... It's definitely been a while since I've used this wiki. Anyway, this is a message to those that care; I will never forget you. In a few days, an event that may decide wether I can remain active or be forced to leave will take place. Those involved know of what is to come. This is a goodbye in case I am not able to say anything to you. Heh... tears... how familiar.

To Nicole: Sweetie, you know my heart beats only for you. As you said, even if I have to wait **ten years** for you I will, my love for you will never burn out. I will never forget you, and I will never forget my love for you. *Semper fidelis,* my love. Always faithful.

To the Venkons as a whole: I speak to you not as an outsider, not as a quitter, but as a brother in arms. Although we may have gotten off to a... rocky start, I'm very grateful for my second chance. I believe I have used it well.

To Eyeless Jack: I never knew you much, EJ. Maybe it's because you weren't too active. I have a request: be more active. Be up to date. I know you're busy, but hopping on every once in a while wouldn't hurt.

To any future recruits: I know it's very hard to believe what's going on. We've all been there, honestly. Just ask Nicole or anyone else present during altcest. But you need to power through this disbelief and stay active.

I honestly hope to God this is ultimately unnecessary. If I did not write to you, it is because I am currently in a hurry. I am and always will be a proud Venkon. Thank you all for giving me that chance to prove myself.
風精靈

精通劍道的英雄，但是被西洋劍精致漂亮的外表所迷惑，故放棄劍道投身魔法事業

近程魔法輔助，擁有強力的劍術攻擊，能夠為單個隊友回復生命，奧義能夠為隊友增加傷害吸收護盾

## **技能：**

**奧義：魔法結界**

風精靈吟唱壹小段時間用單手劍施法施放壹個法術，所有友軍增加壹個法術護盾效果，在吸收N點魔法傷害後消失

**魔法光彈**

快速朝前方釋放多發小型光彈。

**治療術**

快速為友方血量最少的角色回復壹定HP

**被動技能：治愈**

治療術的治療效果提升N點

## **點評**

風精靈是壹個輸出、回復雙向發展的英雄，小喵覺得玩家獲得這個英雄的時候需要註意初始技能主要培養護盾技能，到了後期慢慢轉向治療術，由於這個英雄是近程英雄，把他作為隊長要好些，不然容易死，玩家可以自己悠著點，省的在自動打怪的情況下亂跑，相比小幸，小辛的盾吸收傷害量要高，但是後期以輸出為主，而風精靈則更註重後期的單體回復。
Madness

It claws at you like you're it's prey.

*Madness*

It knows where you lurk, and dream.

*Madness*

It knows.

*Madness*

It has always known.

*Madness*

That you would go crazy from your past. It knows.

*Madness*

Madness knows. It's always known.

*Madness*

You dwell over your memories like a rabbit eating it's last meal before being devouered by a wolf.

*Madness*

You sense it inside you. You know.

*Madness*

You've always known.
Am I a Demon?

You know the feeling. Being so full of hate you could kill something - maybe even that annoying friend who keeps letting rumors and secrets fly. I question myself in my head sometimes, asking myself what's truly right. I'm blind in my own point of thought - I can't see the purpose of my being. I just... feel alone, even when I'm surrounded by friends. Do you know why?

Because *I am a demon.*

Demons cloud our point of view, preventing us from seeing the true meaning we're supposed to have. They make us unnecessarily aggresive at the drop of a hat, forcing us to bite, scratch, and wound others. They are the little voices in your head that build up until you can't take it, forcing you to sweep your existence off the face of the earth via death. But we'll go to heaven or paradise... right? No.
This Odd Torture

Anxiety

Fear

Shock

You feel so frustrated, helpless, weak. You can't do anything to help who you love the most.

This is what you think 90% of the time.

Oh god is this torture.

But please, don't stop.

I want to know.

I want to feel the pain

The anxiety

The fear,

No matter how badly I sleep,

No matter how much I cry or want to hurt myself,

Don't stop telling me.

Please

I want to know.

Everyday I hear your stories about being beaten, neglected, ignored.

Pushed to suicidal thoughts.

It's complete madness for me to hear this, and know I can do almost nothing about it.

But please,

Don't stop.

If you stop then I will never be able to help you at all.

Because despite all of this.

Somehow, you always end up smiling after we talk....
Created

Created to work, born only to fight without any slight semblance of knowledge of past.

No linking of memory, no recollection, not even any matter of love.

Even in my illusionary mechanic trance, something remains inside my deepest subliminal conscience.

Something whispering in my ear, a bit of a long past life, someone trying to get my attention very desperately.

A voice that I drown out, that I refuse to hear over my thick, murky fog.

The voice of peace and my own special kind of love.

I was made for my work, but what was I created for?

Is my maker my creator?

Or is my origin of existence due to someone other than I know and fight for? In fact, they may be on the exact side I am fighting against.

Perhaps I am fighting for something selfish and corrupted.

So it is my choice.

I hide myself behind a mask, who hides from the truth.

Will I obey what I am told?

Or will I listen to the whisper that tries so very desperately to talk to, to speak and communicate to my lost and precious memory?
Self-Grudges

I can hold grudges, but not usually against others.

Usually it's against myself....

That seems a bit weird, doesn't it?

Why would I hold something against myself?

The answer is simple

It can be hard for one to forgive himself

Especially when he does something so stupid.

I don't quite know how to deal with this

Aside from venting my thoughts like this

And possibly "making up" for this.

I'm out of thoughts for this, now excuse me while I hopefully avoid cutting....
You're very anxious

Yes, I can see that clearly.

You're anxious, extremely worried over something....

You can't get rid of this anxiety, no matter what kind of reasoning you do

Even with all the reasoning against it, there was something to start worrying about

And it obviously hasn't been reasoned out

But what use is reasoning? You need a solution now.

Perhaps try to think of other things

That will at least distract your mind temporarily.

But you know that unless you find a real solution

It will just keep coming back.

But how can you find a solution now?

You need time

Info

Answers

Something

Anything that could help.

But there is always a solution, even if you have to be patient to find it....
What Does It Mean to be Insane?

Insanity....

What is it?

What does it mean?

I think I know

As confusing as this answer will be....

Insanity itself is a state of mind

But, just because you're in the state of insanity

Doesn't mean you're insane.

Those who cannot escape this state of mind

Or those who don't want to

They are the truly insane ones.

Because, let's face it, I'm sure we've all had at least one time where we wanted to beat up or kill someone

But we're not all psychopaths or killers.

True psychopathy is when you cannot escape from it

True insanity is exactly the same....
Nightmares of Hell

Yet another night of similar nightmares and harsh sleeping.

I can fall asleep just fine (usually), but I'll wake up at least 3 times a night because of dreams and nightmares.

What are these nightmares about you may ask (probably not actually)

Well, they go like the following. I recommend you read these in a really fast order so as to get the full effect:

Hackers,

Death,

Suicide,

Fights.

Dreams crushed,

Lives ruined,

Everyone worried,

Suicide.

Hackers,

Fights,

Death,

Drama.

Maybe some fucked up shit with porn.

Maybe some fucked up drug-like shit.

Death,

Drama,

Hackers,

Fights.

Death,

Death,

Death,

Hackers.

-\*end sequence\*-

I would go into detail about some of these dreams, but at this point, they're becoming numb to me. I think it's starting to pass thank god, but I haven't gotten a full nights rest for sometime.

'So brain, why do you like dancing around the idea of death so much?'

"B-Because it'ssss f-f-f-fun to me-e-e-ess with y-you."

'Are you sure it's not because you're always unstable and on crack basically?'

"SHUT UP, WE BOTH KNOW YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT! YOU WON'T MAKE IT AND WE'LL SLIT YOUR THROAT WHEN YOU FAIL!"

'Oh brain, I've already mentally dealt with that thought. I'm fairly confident that I will make it to her.'

"And yet we still listen to insanity and edge songs."

'At least it's not 3 Days Grace edge.'

"..."
12 days, 07 hours left

**Trigger Warning: this one is focused on my religion. If that makes you uncomfortable, don't read.**

I've done it. There's just under two weeks left. I've kept to myself as promised and have not contacted the venkons in any way, shape, or form. The end is in sight. I should be happy. And yet... I'm not. Not completely. Getting unbanned is only the first hurdle in an endless race. But I can't tackle it alone. So I've become more active in my faith, as I always wanted to. I've begun praying. Praying for myself, praying for their safety, etc. Many think my faith is simply incompatible with the war. I disagree. I know God is on my side. How else would I have gotten through this exile in one piece? How else would I have had the courage to join up in the first place? I'm not afraid of what's to come. Perhaps I should be. But no matter who or what you are, God will come out on top. The Many should be afraid. I certainly would be. I don't claim to have the power to wipe out the many. I couldn't take one down if I tried. But my devotion to God has gotten me thus far, and it certainly won't fail me in the future. I've prayed when Ivichs have threatened me. I prayed when Forks was torturing me. And I pray whenever this exile becomes too much to bear. I know I've fucked up, but that doesn't mean God has given up on me. I know He's merciful. I know He's willing to forgive anything. I'm a Catholic, so tomorrow I'll be heading to confession. It's rather hard to confess all these sins, but God will give me the courage to do so. I know He will. And God will deliver me from my enemies, including the Many. With Him (God) on my side, I fear nothing. That's my belief. I know God is on my side in this war against the many. I'm ready to return. Just twelve more days.

"The LORD is my light and my salvation;

whom should I fear?

The LORD is my life’s refuge;

of whom should I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1 NABRE)"
I'm here,

Why do I have to be the one to vent my thougts? Can't I just keep them to myself. Or is writing better for me?

probably writing is better for me.

Anyways; My life isn't *perfect,* unlike some people's.

I don't think anyone around me is safe to talk to, safe to be with, safe to not let any of my feelings go.

Sometimes, I think that I'm basically the one who is different in life.

When I was younger, I wanted to become a doctor, but when I joined AJSW (animal jam stories wiki), I found what was what I truly wanted to be.

An author.

Thanks to all the wonderful people out there who helped me find my dream.
Perverts

There are perverts everywhere.

I'm a pervert, you're a pervert, we're all perverts.

In this case, I use pervert to define anyone who views any sexualness in some things, and enjoys it.

Such as watching "hot babes" on the beach, or just straight up porn.

I don't mind perverts, as long as they have the decency to control themselves.

But when they don't....

THEY BETTER FUCKING HIDE!

HIDE BECAUSE THEIR LIVES DEPEND ON IT!

HIDE BECAUSE I WILL PERSONALLY GO OVER THERE AND MAKE SURE THEIR GENITALS ARE DEAD, THEIR BODIES TORTURED, AND THEIR MINDS BROKEN!!!

....

Now, you're probably wondering, what would make me want to do this, or even do it at all, want or not.

You probably think I'm insane now.

But let's be honest here.

The next time someone shakes YOU just to "see them bounce."

The next time someone tries to feel your body over because you have muscles.

The next time someone PHYSICALLY does something, because their pervyness gets the best of them.

Try NOT to think about hurting them, or them being hurt in some way.

But of course, if someone does do this to you...

Be sure that they NEVER FUCKING DO IT AGAIN

Be sure that you're assertive about it....
About trading on Animal Jam

I'm just so FRUSTRATED. So ANGRY. Here is why.

So, I was playing Animal Jam. I tried to trade with someone. I offered a feathered mask for a fox hat. That's fair if you ask me. They declined. I was fine with that until the person started speaking. They said: *OMG SO UNDER IM REPORTING U AND I'LL TELL ALL MY FRIENDS ABOUT U*. That. SUCKED. I was so frustrated. And that same thing happened again and again. People call you a SCAMMER because your trade was *not fair*. They call you a little dumb noob because your trade appears to be an undertrade. But hey. WHAT IF THE PERSON DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS UNDER, YOU SELFISH BRATS?! People like that are those who think Animal Jam is a game about rares. *Animal Jam is a wonderful, friendly playground for kids* they said. But guess what? IT'S NOT. It's full of selfish brats, scammers, hackers, bullies, drama queens, beggars... Does that sound so friendly to you?
貓妖公主

英雄定位

近程物理防禦

英雄特點

擁有嘲諷技能，釋放奧義時會召喚魔法護罩，在保護罩破裂前其內在的英雄不會受到傷害

奧義：嗜血妖化

貓妖公主進入妖化狀態，攻擊力大幅度上升，移動速度提高100%，持續7秒

幻影撲擊

快速向前躍出，擊倒敵人兵造成成

噸的魔法傷害，優先撲向遠程單位

爪擊

使用利爪連續抓撓，

造成巨額魔法傷害，並且可打斷敵方技能

被動技能：我很溫柔

普通攻擊會使敵人流血，每秒損失

大量生命值，持續3秒，最大疊加4層

貓妖公主堪稱後排殺手，其中技能中有優先撲向遠程單位的屬性，後排脆皮基本上難逃貼面的局面，壹旦被戰士類英雄貼近，敵方後排的輸出將大打折扣。自身又擁有強大的單體輸出技能，

沈默打斷技能也是控制力十足，不管是打副本還是競技場，貓妖公主絕對是最優秀的近戰DPS。後期大招傷害隨等級提升而提升，更是強有力的輸出手段。
Me

I'm... no stranger to fucking up. Really, I'm not. I've let down my friends, I've let down the one I love, the only person that caan make me smile. I've let down my family. But I stick around. Despite many attempts to take my life, I'm still here. And now, because of me, the one I love may never see me again. And so... I'm gonna leave this here for her, just so she can see.

I... never mean to fuck up. I don't think anyone does. But, as we all know, sometimes we say things and do things because of stupid impulses, be it lust, anger, or pride. I know, I've felt all three. We get arrogant, almost like everyone owes *us* something just for being ourselves. But once they stop, and the truth of what you just did dawns, you feel awful. But an apology never quite makes up for it completely.

Have you ever wrinkled up a paper? No matter how much you smooth it out you will never straighten it fully. That's almost like a human heart— and I know I've wrinkled yours more times than I can count. I don't think I can apologize enough in one page, so my apology goes without saying. This happens to everyone- to you, and to me. We have both done this, and we are both sorry. But we must both keep in mind that to err is human- despite what Ambrose says, we are both human beings. We make mistakes.

Due to the aforementioned impulses, we sometimes make the ones we love feel like a disappointmen. It's happened to all of us. I've certainly done it time and time again. I've hurt you. And you've hurt me. This seems like grounds for total separatio, but I don't think that's right. A coin has two sides, doesn't it? On one side we have the sadneas and guilt we make each other feel sometimes because we're human, and we're not immune to impulses, but on the other is all the happiness we've shared.

Remember our Skype calls? I do. We used to play video games or watch movies or TV series. I'm going to be completely honest— that was the best time of my life. I finally had a significant other to share things with. So please, let's do it again. Let's try to fix it. The ship hasn't sunk— we have time to fix it.
Welcome.

So, you have decided to be sad? Fair enough. Everyone is sad in their lives at some point.

I hope you realize that sadness is a terrible and difficult journey.

If you have realized this, good job.

If you haven't... I've warned you.

I am here to tell you the seven stages of grief.

One: Shock and Denial.

Two: Pain and Guilt.

Three: Anger and Bargianing.

Four: Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness.

Five: Upward Turn.

Six: Working Through and Reconstruction.

Seven: Acception and Hope.

I hope you are safe at home.

Friends and family are near.

You are here because you are lonely.

You are here because you have guilt.

You are here because you are sad.

Welcome to the wiki...
My Happiness. Their Hell.

[March 7th, 2016, 7:25 A.M.

Some high school in Virginia]

Something as sure as shit does make you feel strange as you watch the roof of your school. Usually, and almost always, nothing is there. Its a roof, what more is there to expect? Excpet for today. Today, there is a girl up there. She's decently tall, has brown, wavy-ish hair, brown eyes covered by navy glasses. She's wearing some kind of T-shirt, but you're unable to make out what's on it because the sun is still rising. Her hands are out, in a t-shape. She looks down at everyone, and at you. You can't tell if she's scared, or afriad. She looks kind of...happy.

After proceeding to examine all of the roof, you look around at the crowd. There are a pretty decent amount of people around you. Other teenagers, and a few teachers. Most people look scared. You try thinking about what her name could possibly be. Everyone else seems to know. They all hiss the same name, but you can't make it out. She makes a signal to silence everyone, and begins talking.

"I hope you understand why I'm here." She says. Her voice sounds a little bit sad. But mostly tense. "I hope you understand that I'm trying to make you happy. All I ever was, and all I ever am...Is a roadblock." She smiles, "Now you can be happy and realize you just overcame an obstacle." She clasps her hands and puts them over her heart.

"P-Please!" A woman cries out. You turn your head. She has long, dark brown hair and light brown eyes. You don't reconize her, but you see a crest on her sweater showing she's from a local private school. "We care about you! We-we don't want you to die." The girl seems to hear her.

"It-it's okay..."The girl says softly "I'm making all your lives better. Think about how happy you'll be!" She says happily. The woman disagrees, but says nothing more.

"No! Don't...You'll be in huge trouble if you don't come down....!" A woman yells.

"Mom..." She begins, her voice full of sorrow. "You never helped me. You weren't there. You don't need me."

Nobody else speaks. She waves her last goodbye. She closes her eyes, thinking of happiness, and smiles. She falls. You close your eyes.

"It's all over." She whispers.

But then, it all stops. Everyone looks down at the front doors, and somehow...She's still alive. She looks at the ground, confused. Everyone else seems just as confused. You look around to see if something saved her, but you can't tell. You shove people to get closer, and see shes sitting on the ground, not bruised or dead. She gets up, and looks at everyone. They all try and get to her, some people hurling insults. Suddenly, a voice pirec through the ice cold morning air.

"Everyone stop it! Don't hurt her!" A man yells. You turn, and see a somewhat strange, familiar figure. He looks directly at her. He whispers something to her, and she nods.

"She's been through hell. I'll be taking her away now. She's going to remain safe." He says to the crowd. They grumble.

"Hey! You all better shut up!" A bright, orange-haired woman yells,
Appeal

I'll be honest guys, I haven't been there in the head these past few days. I thought I was finally getting through it yesterday but... the people I hang out with at school, my only anchors at this point, sent me a text saying they no longer want me around. And everything faded away. Any feelings of pettiness, any feelings of anger or guilt. I have no one to help me fix myself. I have no one to even talk to anymore.

Guys, I'm going to make an appeal. If my time among you cracking jokes and making you all laugh meant anything to you, I ask that you consider me. You don't even have to unban me. I just want you to consider me. I need someone to talk to, everyone has left me. Hell, the only reason I got through altcest in the first place was because Nikki still talked to me via skype. Now not even the people I know irl wanna talk to me. Just... consider me. Please. I'm crying as I write this. I'll probably cry myself to sleep too. I have no one left.
Shattered Mirrors

Mirrors. They're part of our everyday life. Whenether it's an urban legend or just looking in a mirror to check our appearance, they're there. But sometimes mirrors are the WORST. You look into a mirror. Being the person you are, you see your body image as imperfect and try to go on a diet and being active! You look in that mirror again. You STILL see your image as imperfect. So, you continue this until you are no more than a skeletal husk. Your family is WORRIED. Why won't you EAT?! Your life is more imprtant than your body image, after all! Once you realize what you've done, you shatter that mirror. Then, using the shard of the now HATED mirror, you stab yourself in the chest and all over your body. Next thing you know, you wake up in a hospital. You reject the food they give you. They place you in a mental institution.

...

Is that what you wanted?