Traditions

* Stressfest - A night-long event that occurs the weekend before finals to help students take a breather from their work. Focused on breaking the stress, past years have included massage, free smoothies, and DDR.

* Dolliver Drag Night - A drag competition. Biological males present themselves with a traditionally female gender while biological females present themselves with a traditionally male gender. The ones who answer the questions and walk the runway the best, by judgment of audience applause, win.

* Mayfest - This weekend-long event, comprised of many small events, is the biggest on campus. Held around the beginning of May, shortly before finals, it has in the past included a prom, free cotton candy, an inflatable obstacle course, many musical acts, and a series of competitions winning points for house teams. There is also a popular annual performance of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

* Prom - The school hosts a prom dance every year.

* Professorial cults - Many professors at Simon's Rock have gained cult followings, including Chris Callanan (Chrissians), Chris Coggins (Cogginites), and others. The cult of Mark Vecchio (Vecchists, Vecchians) is in its last throes, as the remaining students who experienced Mark Vecchio graduate. Professorial cults usually involve great deals of misdirected sexual energy, stemming from the student body's conflation of intellectualism with sexual attractivness. This has given rise to the false belief that every time a professor leaves the college, it is because the administration caught them sleeping with a student.

* Putting clothes on the statue behind the library.

* Dance Concert - Every fall and spring some pretty amazing stuff goes down.

* Vagina Monologues- A yearly tradition, performed on or around Valentine's Day.

* Senior Prank - Each year, on the day the senior theses are due on the Provost's desk, the Senior class puts together an elaborate "prank," which many students and faculty come to watch. The prank is always kept top secret until its implementation, and always involves asking Dean of Academic Affairs Anne O'Dwyer and Provost Peter Laipson to do a bit of silly role-playing before being given the theses. Previous "pranks" have included: giant vaginas, Bernie clones, a mock war crimes trial, tricking the dean into giving permission to start a community garden, and the kidnapping of secretaries.

* Winter Solstice Celebration - A non-denominational celebration of the winter season. Includes stories and songs from the Chanuka, Christmas, and Kwanzaa traditions, and students, faculty, and staff are welcome to participate. There is traditionally a reading of "The Night Before Christmas," musical performances by student music groups, and of course, lots of cookies and hot apple cider. At the end of the evening everyone lights a candle and carries it to the Peace Grove, and there is a moment of silence in honor of the hope for peace.

* Infoshop Annual 4/20 Bakesale (forgotten in 2008).

* Rampantly claiming that the new freshman class is more normal than ever before and that the spirit of the school is being lost. They said it about their class too. They've been saying it for decades.