Mayquaza Birch

**Mayquaza Birch** is the daughter of MAY from PORKYMAN, and she likes shorts!

## Info

Name: Mayquaza Birch

Age: I consider myself 14.

Parent's Story: Pokemon

Appearance: I'm a human-Rayquaza hybrid with brown hair, red eyes, horns, wing things, and a tail on my ass.

Alignment: Roybel

Roommate: Kate Loxley

Secret Heart's Desire: To stop Team Magma and Team Aqua and become the Pokemon Champion.

My Magic Touch: I can stop Groudon and Kyogre, use Dragon attacks, fly in the ozone layer. walk through walls, and eat with my feet.

Storybook Romance Status: I am going to date Steven. He is a major f\*cking hottie.

Oh Curses Moment: I have a 4x weakness to Ice-type moves.

Favorite Subject: Heroics 101. I'm the next May AND the next Rayquaza, so I need practice in here.

Least Favorite Subject: Dragon Slaying. As a half-dragon, I find this class to be racist.

Best Friends Forever After: My friends are all back in Hoenn because Pokemon isn't a fairy tale.

## Biography

Hi! I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!

Anyway, boobies, I'm Mayquaza Birch, the daughter of May and Rayquaza from Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. How did I come to be? Well, Rayquaza used mind control on May when she went to the top of the Sky Pillar, and May laid an egg. And thus I was born. I hang out with Brendan and Wally because they are both super-cute and I love the idea of shipping them together. I'm friends with Steven too because he's hot.

I go to Ever After High because there are no real schools in the Pokemon world. Trainer Schools don't count. Over here, I use Dragon Ascent to attack the kids. Mega Rayquaza is ridiculously overpowered and broken and it's banned from the Uber tier. I love spending time in the ozone layer (ozone as in the sky, not that fruity Romanian boy band). I really wnat to stop Team Magma and Team Aqua since they're causing so many problems. Team Magma are the nerds, and Team Aqua are the jocks. Archie plays tackle football while Maxie reads computer manuals.

I have a huge crush on Steven Stone, the hot, sexy Steel-type Champion of Hoenn. He has really nice hair and a really hot butt that I love picturing in a speedo. He's definitely on my list of boys to date. I'm afraid that that faggot Wallace is going to steal him from me.

In my spare time, I like to swim in the ocean depths, fly in the ozone lair, ride my Mach Bike, eat Pokeblocks, take hot spring baths with Flannery in Lavaridge Town, make fun of Maxie's outfit, and read fashion magazines with Wallace.

Living in Hoenn gets kinda boring, but it's fun too, especially because of those mirage islands that appear and disappear around it. I go there to catch some sexy Pokemon.

I look so good.

## Trivia

* She likes the poo emoji because she poops a lot.
* She has special bathroom privileges.
* She can count to G!
* She found the cure for AIDS, but she won't tell anyone what it is.
* She thinks that Dome Ace Tucker is transgender.
* She loves trumpets because Hoenn is known for its trumpets.
* Just like all Pokemon protagonists, her dad is a deadbeat dad. (Rayquaza has no time for her anyway because he's too busy flying around.)
* Her theme is this song.