Smelly Dan

Smellith Danithy, commonly known as Smelly Dan, is physically a 66 year old human male and local Dirt farmer living in District 1 of New Crunk City. Literally everyone fucking hates him and cannot stand being around him on account of his stench, I have been told hes a decent dude. Even though it may seem like he's just a dirty hobo, hes actually extraordinarily intelligent and is capable of utilizing the Dirt element to a degree rarely seen outside of dedicated masters.

### History

Smelly Dan is a dumbfounding person whos history is equally as dumbfounding. His origin is completely unkown but it is believed by The Professor that Smelly Dan spent the majority of his life prior to 66 years old eating dirt in District 13. The Professor believes this to be the case as test samples show a nutritional history containing pretty much nothing but dirt for six decades. Literally nothing else he just fucking ate dirt by the handful, no spoon no fork, just his filthy eleven fingers and he was happy. Oh yeah you heard this right, he has 11 fingers, an extra pinky on his left hand. What the hell? I can't even tell if thats more or less normal than someone with 12 fingers, but 11?? Whatever, I digress, I just really hate Smelly Dan. In addition to his weird extra finger, either dirt eating being the cause or the result, Smelly Dan's intelligence factor was so goddamn low that it could not even register on any standardized scales. It's honestly impressive that he was performing any bodily functions at all when he had the intelligence of a recently picked grape. The fact he lived *a year*, let alone 66 is a miracle.

Surprisingly, though, Smelly Dan had a chance enounter with Crunky himself. As the story goes, while trying to manifest himself physically, the nearby Smellith Danithy sensed the immensely powerful and entirely Dirt mnanifestation immediately and slowly shuffled toward Crunky. Upon reaching him, Smelly Dan actually began trying to eat Crunky. Lets put this into perspective alright? Imagine an even less intelligent ant trying to eat the eiffel tower. Crunky, at first infuriated and about to literally destroy Smelly Dan, took pity on him. He saw Smelly Dan as one of his creations who was so simple and so freely devoted to Dirt that he became the first person to kinda like Dan. Crunky then gave Smelly Dan his blessing, giving him the intelligence on par with some of the greatest minds in history. He continued trying to eat Crunky because hes still a fuckin weirdo. Well, I guess when someones weird and smart it isnt weird, it's eccentric. Either way, good ol' Smellith Danithy never forgot his personality and continued to have a passion for dirt. Training near constantly and master his special move, Dirtpocalypse, wherein he completely overwhelms his opponent in dirt. But it doesnt stop there, ever since recieving Crunky's blessing, Smelly Dan basically stopped aging alltogether.

One day he just decided to start a dirt farm in district 1, not for money or anything, but just because he wanted to produce dirt as efficiently and effectively as possible for his own enjoyment.

### Trivia

* Shortly after recieving his blessing from Crunky, he went on to jack off 3 thousand times in one day and subsequently donated his sperm across the cosmos. Exactly how many of his children there are is unknown, but during the testing that the Professor undertook it was revealed that Smelly Dan is actually the father of Aramethes. At present, it is believed Aramethes is unaware of this.