Tennessee Tuxedo Lost episode: The Day the Zoo went Bad

**This pasta is inspired by Chimichangar and Oliver Charlie's Funnypasta's. Let me know if there are any grammatical errors.**

Hi there, My name is Abel and I am a huge fan of cartoons. The reason why I love cartoons so much is because my dad used to be an animator at Nickelodeon Studios. This story is not about Squidward’s Suicide or other rumored lost episodes. Heck, this story is about a cartoon that didn't even air on Nick.

To get things started, I hate most cartoons nowadays. Most cartoons nowadays are filled to the brim with annoying characters, unfunny humor and cheap animation. I mainly like old cartoons from the 40s to the early 2000’s, my favorite cartoon of all time would have to be Tennessee Tuxedo and his Tales.

The show is about a penguin named Tennessee Tuxedo and a Walrus named Chumley going on various adventures. In every episode Tennessee and Chumley would have a problem in each episode so they would go to Phineas J. Whoopee for help. Phineas would teach them about something educational.

The series aired between 1963 and 1966 and the show lasted for 70 episodes, but apparently there were 71 episodes. I found this out one day while walking home from school.

It was the last day of school and I was excited for the summer. I was walking home to my house when I was stopped by a creepy looking merchant. “DVD’s, DVD’s get them from me” he was chanting at me. The guy looked like the Happy Mask Salesman from Majora's Mask but he had a beard.

I was going to walk away because the guy looked creepy and most of his DVDs were bootlegs, but one of the DVDs he was selling was a Tennessee Tuxedo DVD. I knew this was an offer I could not resist so I spent my money on the DVD and ran home. When I got home I saw a note on the door saying that my parents were on vacation. So I was left with my babysitter Amanda Banshee

Amanda was watching something on tv, so I got some Flavor Blasted Goldfish and went up to my room to watch the episode. I put the DVD into my laptop and the DVD started off with some sort of weird trailer for a video game.

The game was called Paper Mario goes to the Grocery Store. The game was about Paper Mario going to the grocery store only to find out they didn't have soy milk. The game looked stupid and Nintendo doesn't make good games anymore.

After that I pressed play on the DVD menu and the episode started. The first thing about the episode that I noticed was that the theme song was different. The lyrics went like this:

“Come on and see, see, see Tennessee Fuxedo.  See, see, see, Pennessee Fucksedo. He will be destroying politics for your pleasures, anything in search of treasure. Anything so he can measure, up to shit. Sonic Tuxedo A small penguin, who tries but can succeed-o. Though he may fail, as he vies to fame and glory. Still he tries in each new Ü tale.”

What the shit, why did they change the theme song? Even weirder, what the shit does Tennessee Tuxedo have to do with politics? After the theme song we see the title of the episode. It was called The Day the Zoo went Bad.

Anyways, the episode starts off with Tennessee Tuxedo and Chumley watching the news on their television. The news anchor was Hilly Buford and he was reporting a recent incident that happened at Megapolis.

“Breaking news Political Candidate Uncle Blob was seen at Wendy’s eating someone's bacon burger. He has stated the reason he did this act. He did this because the guy did not vote for him.”

Tennessee turned the Tv off rather angrily. “But Tennessee I was watching that,” Chumley objected.

“Chumley I don’t want you watching that crap” said Tennessee.

“We need to do something to protect the zoo from Blob” said Chumley.

“Yes we do” replied Tennessee.

We cut to the zoo director Stanley Livingston and his assistant Flukey talking about plans for the zoo.

“We should build a capybara exhibit and sell fried ice cream,” said Flukey.

“No we need 40 new vending machines” replied Stanley.

The 2 of them argued about stuff for the zoo until Tennessee Tuxedo came into Stanley’s office. “Hey Stanley can me and Chumley go to McDonalds?” Tennessee said in a chill voice. “No” yelled Stanley “Why the fuck do you want stupid McDonalds”.

Tennessee got kicked out of Stanley's office and Chumley asks “Do we get to go to McDonalds?” “Yes,” said Tennessee in a weird voice.

The 2 animals escaped from the zoo and ended up in McDonalds. Where we see Sagebrush Sid from The Wacky World of Tex Avery working there. “What the fuck do you want” said Sid.

“We would like 2 big macs 3 stacks of fries and a kelp shake” said Tennessee.

“Ok that will be $9.94” said Sid.

Out of fucking nowhere Quiz Show host from Rhythm Heaven screamed “CONGRADULATIONS YOU 2 WON A MILLION DOLLARS”. “Holy shit Chumley we won” Tennessee cheered.

The 2 of them repeatedly screamed “OH SHIT WE WON” over and over again. Chumley even got out a bottle of champagne to celebrate.

They ran back to the zoo in excitement to tell the other animals. The first animal they told was their friend Baldy the Bald Eagle.

Baldy was playing his Nintendo Switch when Tennessee told him the news. That made no sense since Tennessee Tuxedo and His Tales came out in 1963 and the Nintendo Switch came out in 2017.

“Hey Baldy we won a million dollars” screamed Tennessee.

“Holy shit we can spend on whatever we want” replied Baldy in a voice that sounded like Gilbert Godfried.

“You are right,” said Chumley.

Tennessee told Baldy to meet him at his exhibit at 8:00 PM for a zoo meeting. He later told the other animals about the meeting to discuss their ideas.

After that, the episode cut to cable interference and showed footage of people in walrus costumes wearing communist attire walking down the streets of an unknown city. While this was happening the song I am the Walrus by The Beatles played in reverse.

After that we see everyone at the staff room discussing plans for what to do with money. Baldy suggested building a giant statue of the crewmate from Among Us, Yakkity Yak suggested buying 5 tons of Pickle flavored Ice Cream.

Outside of the staff room we see Jerboa Jump and Tiger Tornado talking about using the money to fund an illegal election. Jerboa Jump didn't sound like he usually does, He sounded like Meowth from the Pokemon anime.

“Tiger we need to get the money to fund the Big Cheese” said Jerboa Jump

“You mean the election?” said Tiger Tornado.

“Do you want to be put on a FBI watchlist Catface, We need to keep this quiet” said Jerboa

“Its 2020 you dick, You can't say Catface” yelled Tiger

Apparently Catface is an offensive word in the Tennessee Tuxedo universe. Anyways after the meeting we see Jerboa and Tiger steal some of the money and ran off with it into a dark alleyway.

Jerboa and Tiger made their way through the alleyway and ran into a man in a trench coat who asked them for the password. The password was the word Poopbunger.

They went into a building only to find a weird discussion between Uncle Blob from 321 Penguins and King Cuckoo from the 1977 movie Raggedy Ann and Andy, A Musical Adventure. They were having a debate about Lost Episode Creepypastas and how they should be made.

“Lost Episode Creepypastas should be banned and replaced with Funnypastas” said King Cuckoo.

“We need more creepypastas to make the internet great again” said Blob in the voice of a certain person.

“Uncle Blob, is it true that you set up a circus that turned people into seeds?” said a reporter.

“That is not true, I am just a businessman trying to help the people” Blob screamed.

Tennessee barged into the building and fired an M2 flamethrower at Blob and Cuckoo. “This is the Winterville police department, come out with your hands in the air” Tennessee Tuxedo said in a drunken voice.

Everyone in the building was arrested and the sheriff rewarded Tennessee with a badge even though He isn't a police officer.

After that we see Tennessee Tuxedo and Chumley on their way to Mr. Whoopie’s office even though it was 1:29 in the morning. When they arrived Mr. Whoopie was surprisingly still awake and he said “ Welcome my boys, Do you want some coffee”.

“Mr. Whoopee do you have any information about Uncle Blob and King Cuckoo” Tennessee asked.

“I do my lad but it's confidential '' replied Mr. Whoopee.

Mr. Whoopee proceeded to tell Tennessee about the history of both of them on his 3DBB. After that Tennessee and Chumley went back to the zoo only to find a new animal.

The animal was just a generic cat named Burger and Fries. Burger seemed really pissed off for some reason as he hissed at Tennessee and nearly bit his leg off.

Stanley yelled at Tennessee to get the hell away from Burger and Fries. So Tennessee Tuxedo ran back into his exhibit.

After that happened, Tennessee Tuxedo and Chumley were cooking and what they were cooking was disturbing. It was rat soup made from Jerboa Jump.

Tennessee Tuxedo looked at the screen and said “Hello there Abel, I see you are a fan of my cartoon program”.

That scared the living shit out of me how the fuck did Tennessee Tuxedo know my name. How the fuck is that even possible.

“How the fuck do you know who I am” I screamed.

“Lets just say Mr. Whoopee told me about you, Anyways If you want to be successful in life stay away from the losers like Uncle Blob and King Cuckoo.” Said Tennessee Tuxedo in a voice that sounded nothing like Don Adams, It sounded just like Captain Lou Albano.

Tennessee Tuxedo proceeded to lecture me about how I should become a youtuber who calls out people for their political views. I don't know why a cartoon penguin was talking to me about politics but it did happen.

After that weird shit we see Dr. Robotnik from AOSTH rapping about the video game Ruff and Reddy in the Space Adventure making up lyrics about how the game caused Susan Wojcicki to make unfair YouTube rules.

Then the episode turned into a commercial for Walmart with characters from Tennessee Tuxedo and characters from other franchises walking around Walmart while talking about prices for different items.

Then we see Dr. Robotnik, launching a flaming bowling ball headed straight for the Megapolis Zoo only for it to hit Stanley Livingston, sending him flying into the air while screaming “Nooooo”.

Tennessee Tuxedo looked at me and said “I own the zoo now bitch” while the screen faded to black.

The credits looked normal but at the end a 3D model of Jerboa Jump that looked like something from a N64 game looked at me and said “This is the reason Total Television no longer exists”.

Out of fucking nowhere he jumped out of my computer holding a knife. Tiger Tornado, Uncle Blob, King Cuckoo, Stanley Livingston and Burger and Fries also were there in the exact same N64 style as Jerboa Jump.

“I guess people like you don't listen” said Uncle Blob.

“Piracy is no party” they all said in unison.

I screamed and ran downstairs into the kitchen while they were chasing me. I knew I needed to do something, Amanda Banshee was fast asleep on the couch.

I was afraid I was going to be killed by a cartoon rat until Amanda Banshee came in with a machine gun. She fired at the cartoon characters while yelling “That's what you get for messing with Amanda” . She screamed.

Amanda Banshee asked me about what happened and I simply just told her that the cartoon characters were intruders, obviously not telling her about the episode.

I should probably end this story off by telling everyone not to buy bootleg DVDs but you all probably know better.