9. DIXI: Series 3, Look Before You Leap

## Look Before You Leap - Dixi

Shari and Mimi reunite but can't agree over who they think the Nameless One is. Their investigation leads to a scary showdown..

### Writer

Dan Berlinka Melanie Stokes Nina Metivier

## Episode Transcript and Timings

Hey, it's Shari and look who's back in the game.

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Hey, guys!

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Yeah, we've got Mimi back on the case. And together,

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we are not giving up.

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The more you knock us down, the more we'll fight back.

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-Am I right, lady?

-You are so right, lady.

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So you guys won't have missed the latest horrible piece of hate spam

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-from the Nameless One.

-You're watching

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-Perry Presents: Backstage....

-AUDIO SLOWS AND DISTORTS

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Poor Perry - they butchered his trailer.

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I can't believe some people gave that a thumb.

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But at least now we have a short list of suspects.

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Benedict, Ryan and Zoe,

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who all just "happened" to be at Laser Maze on Saturday.

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Well, one of them has to be our troll.

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But the question is, which one?

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We have to think logically.

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Like Sherlock.

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There's no time to mess things up by leaping to conclusions.

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Good point, Watson.

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Well, the only person I haven't investigated yet is Ryan,

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so he's the obvious suspect.

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Whoa, there, leapy.

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Why did you pick Ryan?

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I really don't think it's him.

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Why not? And before you say anything,

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I don't think Sherlock would accept "dreamy eyes" as evidence.

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It can't be Ryan, because...

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he hates bullies.

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Which is one of the things I like about him.

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Until he decided that I was a bully and started hating me.

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Hey, not for much longer.

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When we bring down the troll of the century,

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he'll see how awesome you are.

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You're right. But enough about Ryan, what about Benedict?

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No, I don't think so.

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-No way.

-Why not?

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Well, we've already ruled him out, remember?

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Plus, I just don't think he's, like, a mean person.

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He was actually kind of sweet on Friday.

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Saved me from a Miss Malik lecture.

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Oh.

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Oh, OK, OK.

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What?

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No, nothing.

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I just didn't think that you were his biggest fan.

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Oh, I'm not.

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He's the most annoying person I've ever met.

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He always thinks he's right and he's wrong, like, 99% of the time.

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And, and he's always using made-up words,

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like "melange" and "ergo".

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Oh, wow, he's really got under your skin.

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-Oh, absolutely.

-Drives you up the wall.

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-Yeah, totally.

-Can't stop thinking about him.

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Yeah, he's so annoying.

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Shari, you do know you fancy him?

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What?! Ha!

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I don't fancy him!

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I don't...I only think about him all the time, because he's so ann...

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Oh, no!

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Oh, I DO fancy him!

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-How could this happen?

-I think it's sweet.

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Sweet? This is the worst thing my brain could possibly do.

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Stupid brain!

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Like it wasn't annoying enough already.

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Well, I guess that just leaves the one suspect.

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OK, guys, Zoe's on her lunch break, so we're going to sneak a look at

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her phone, and once we find Nameless One stuff in her browser history,

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-then we've got her.

-The coast is clear.

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-Ooh, why don't I be lookout?

-Great.

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But, Isla, it is really important that you warn us if she's coming,

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OK? Because Zoe is terrifying.

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OK. If Zoe's coming, the code word is,

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"Zoe is coming".

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Zoe has her own personal grooming area.

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What a diva.

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Look - "Zoe, quit the play today"!

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OMD, she's not the Nameless One.

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She's a target.

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What are you doing touching my stuff?

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Zoe is coming, Zoe is...

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Oh.

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Seriously?

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OK, remind me to never let Isla be look-out again.

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Did I not mention Zoe is terrifying?

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What have you done? This is where I get into character.

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You've trashed my Zen zone.

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No, no, no, it's not us, it's the Nameless One.

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Oh, I think I know their name.

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Mimi! You really think you can scare me off?

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What?

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OMD! You've cut up my magazine.

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Do you know what happened to the last person who touched my Vogue?

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They...looked super stylish?

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I am onto you, Mimi.

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You're jealous I'm the star of the showcase.

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Newsflash - time to get over it.

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Zoe, I swear, this wasn't me.

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Enough with the pathetic excuses.

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Stop being a troll and stick to being a loser.

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OK, well, at least we can rule out Zoe, which means there's clearly

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only one person left it can be.

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-Ryan.

-Benedict.

-Hey!

-Hey!

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Hey, now, you're just saying that because you fancy Ryan.

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Oh, and your theory has nothing to do with

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your massive crush on Benny(!)

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It's Benedict, and I've already told you I'm not happy about it,

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-so I'd appreciate you not bringing it up again.

-I don't get it.

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Is it only people we fancy now?

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SHE GASPS

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Is Ash the Nameless One?

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No, Isla, it's not Ash.

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Oh, good. Because I think that could be a deal-breaker for us.

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Well, I guess there's only one thing left to do.

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OK, OK, so we can't let emotion cloud our investigation

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so you follow Benedict and I'll follow Ryan. OK?

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OK.

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Oh, hey, come to help me untangle?

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Shh! We're here on troll business.

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And where's Eve?

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I thought you guys did all of this techie stuff together.

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I think she's avoiding me.

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But I sent her that text saying you totally like her.

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She never messaged me.

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I guess she's not that into me, after all.

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Oh, Addie, poor you.

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Thanks, Isla.

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Aren't you meant to be doing sound checks right now?

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Whoops!

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Isla!

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What's so interesting?

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The Nameless One's video's getting more views than mine.

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They've hijacked my trailer.

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Why are you lurking?

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-I'm not.

-Who are you spying on now?

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No-one.

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Eve, I'm so sorry.

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I forgot all about it.

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Don't worry. I'm doing sound on my own so we can start whenever.

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Where's Addie?

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Avoiding me.

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I thought she liked me, but I guess I got the wrong idea.

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Oh, Eve. Poor you.

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Hey!

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The operation was a success.

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Yeah, it's on Dixi.

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Zoe got our message. Are you sure that no-one saw?

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Positive. No-one knows.

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We just need to keep it that way.

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OMD! It can't be!

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They're in this together.

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They're the Nameless...

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Two!

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Me, neither, Fairy.

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I finally figure out I like Benedict and it turns out he's half

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of the Nameless One.

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I can't believe it. He seems like such a sensitive guy.

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Hello, there. And welcome to Perry At The Pictures...

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It's Talking Pictures, with me, Benedict.

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Ergo, you are MY guest.

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Today we're looking at a classic tale of loss,

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childhood and political intrigue.

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Perry, what was your take on The Lion King?

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Oh, the feels, man. I mean,

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"Dad, wake up! Come on, we've got to go home."

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I mean, it gets you right here, doesn't it, Benedict?

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-Benedict?

-HE WHIMPERS

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And there you have it.

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An emotional ten out of ten for The Lion King...

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..right here, on Perry At The Pictures.

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But I guess it's all an act.

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And me and Mimes are going to prove it.

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Hey, guys. We're about to confront the devious double act,

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AKA the Nameless One.

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Benedict, Ryan,

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you might be hiding under the bridge but the billy goats are onto you.

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Yeah, and Ryan, I'll admit you put on a good show,

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hiding behind that dazzling smile.

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You know, that cheeky little one

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-that you do when we pass in the corridors?

-Mimi!

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Right. But now I know it's all a big fat act. You're a big fat liar

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and we're about to have a big fat showdown.

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You know, I really see football as an ongoing drama

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about male solidarity.

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-Benedict.

-Shari.

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-Ryan.

-Mimi.

-Oh...

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Shari! Messi was cleaning up.

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-Immaculate pun, Ryan.

-Enough!

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We know, OK?

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-Know what, exactly?

-Er, duh!

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That you're Nameless and you're...

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One.

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You what?

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The idea that I produced those hackneyed video recuts is,

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quite frankly, insulting.

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And to think I said you had no imagination.

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We know that you sabotaged Zoe's script.

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"Zoe, quit the play today"?

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We heard you, so don't play the denial card.

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Oh! Suddenly less outraged, are we?

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-Look, you got it wrong.

-No, Benny.

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You got it wrong, if you thought we wouldn't figure it out.

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It's Benedict, and, OK, Shari Holmes, we admit it.

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We vandalised Zoe's script, but that was it.

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I didn't want her in the showcase.

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-GIRLS:

-What?

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She's terrible. She's a total diva.

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So, rather than just talking to her,

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you decide to scare her out of the show?

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And you, with all your anti-bullying and "Mimi is the worst",

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-and then you go and do something like this?

-What?

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Well, don't you think it's a bit mean?

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-I guess.

-Yeah, well, you guessed right.

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Mimi, I'm sorry.

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I was wrong about you.

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Yeah, well, good.

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-Shari, say something.

-How about,

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I can't believe you pretended to be the big bad troll just because you

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were too scared to direct Zoe?

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I didn't want her ruining our play.

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Oh, yeah? Well, you should have thought...

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Wait, did you just say "our play"?

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We're sorry, OK?

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But Zoe is terrible.

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Excuse me?

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I'm terrible? Coming from Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Director?

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You idiots wouldn't recognise talent if it hit you in the face.

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Big mistake, boys.

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I quit.

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So, all's well that ends well.

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Mimi's back in the lead and we're the dynamic direction duo.

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Ugh...

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What?

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What? The plan worked.

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I cannot believe Benedict.

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To think I was stupid enough to fancy him.

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Yeah, well, it ends now.

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Here that, brain? It's not happening.

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They were both so out of order.

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I mean, I think Ryan really meant it when HE said sorry but, whatever,

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it changes nothing.

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They're both trolls in training.

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Although this does mean that neither of them is the Nameless One.

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Ladies!

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Yet again, we are flung into chaos.

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I just found my director and my leading man in a tizz,

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saying our second showcase star has resigned.

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What happened to the spirit of collaboration?

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Honestly, I look on your works and despair.

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Hello, and welcome to Talking Pictures with me, Benedict, and...

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John Cena!!

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Why?

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Hello, and welcome to Talking Pictures with me, Benedict.

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And Perry At The Pictures with me, Perry.

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Today, we're looking at...

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John Cena!!

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I hate you.