329: Some Kind of Horrible Piano Accident

## Summary

Batthwack has the idea of making Juliette and Zantras believe he's dead, either by actually getting killed and then having Raphina resurrect him (risky) or faking his death (better). Everyone agrees this is a good idea and a plan is formulated to escort the woman and her two kids to Trent in an intentionally overt demonstration that they're heading away from Gully's End, while also sowing misinformation about a plan to sneak into the region via some other route. The woman's family adopt Sin's horse and his body is laid to rest at the inn, before they all hit the road bound for Trent.

## Synopsis

The mother tells the party that she and her two girls are leaving in the morning, heading to Trent on foot. Ogga hasn't quite decided whether she'll get away for a little while, or claim on her insurance for the stable fire and use the money to make some renovations.

As the night wears on and the others sleep, the party's conversation comes back round to making travel plans and how to deal with Zantras, who they have to assume is the sliver of dark power that they're told has settled in Gully's End. Will sends Mo to go and check out the Warping Scorpion in Raphina's terrarium, to keep him occupied. Whatever they decide to do, Will thinks that a disguise is essential. Does Zantras have some kind of *Scrying* ability, which enabled him to know they were coming? Or maybe he just deduced that Batthwack would inevitably head this way. He did tell Batthwack that he was looking forward to meeting him in person. Will thinks that Zantras probably has his sights set on Batthwack and that Juliette Rusher is probably just being exploited to lure them into a trap of some sort.

Will reminds the party how Raphina apparently killed the Swirly Man by destroying the sphere he was trapped in. As far as he's aware, he deposited the Swirly Man in the sphere in the first place, so perhaps they can do the same to Zantras. He's also very nervous to be bringing Sheemie along, having seen how dangerous Juliette is, and Rosco is inclined to agree. The boy doesn't want to leave and argues that he knows what he's signed up for. *"My life began the moment that I emerged out of the darkness surfing on those lizards,"* he says. Rosco suggests they head to Trent, where maybe they can get Sheemie a little more battle-ready, and they can escort the family on their journey at the same time. As already pointed out, it's in the "wrong" direction for Gully's End, which will make Juliette and Zantras think they're giving up. Will reluctantly concedes that this is a good idea, clearly imagining Trent to be a absolute shithole.

Batthwack says, *"Maybe we want them to think I'm dead. Maybe we don't worry about being so cautious. So what if Juliette attacks us? So what if she kills me? Raphina can bring me back."* Raphina protests. It's extremely risky and even if the spell works, Batthwack will be weak for a few days. Will really likes the plan though and genuinely thinks he might be on to something. Rosco also suggests that they could just fake Batthwack's death and then he could be brought back to Gully's End under the pretence of conducting his burial rites. Batthwack says, *"Sure, let's do it. Let's do it!"* *"Alright, it's agreed,"* says Sheemie.

Before dawn, Raphina casts *Speak with Animals* and talks again to Lachrymose. The horse really just wants to know who needs it, and it's decided that the woman and her family could probably use a horse for their journey to Trent. They also bury Sin's body outside the inn, along with the owlbear pelt that Rosco bought from him, and Raphina lovingly crafts a headstone using her *Stone Shape* spell that reads *"Best Owlbear Pelts."*

At sunrise, the group suddenly feel rested as usual, their various magical energies revitalized. The family are happy to accept Lachrymose as their new mode of transport to Trent. In Sin's old room they find three more owlbear pelts, maybe a little better quality than the one Rosco had purchased, which they take with them. Ogga decides to stay at the inn, at least for a little while, while things are put in order. They head off down the road, as conspicuously as possible, the party and the family riding in Rudy, Batthwack riding Steed and Lachrymose galloping alongside as well. As they go, they loudly proclaim (from a script that had Sheemie worked on during the night) that they think it's too dangerous to head directly into Gully's End right now and that they're going to go to Trent, regroup and decide what to do next, be it sneak in disguised, or go to Carnivar instead. The sun breaks through the morning mist as they ride on towards their next destination.

## Quotes

* Rosco: *"We make them think we're doing exactly what we're doing. But in a way that we don't know that they know that we know that they know."*

## Trivia

* The episode title is a quote from Adam. The party are discussing how best to sneak into Gully's End. Perhaps head in the wrong direction initially to make it look like they've given up, or even try and fake Batthwack's death to put their enemies off guard. Rosco: *"I think as much as we can mislead them, the better. So not only do we travel in the opposite direction, but then the one threat to Juliette's power is killed in some kind of horrible piano accident."* Raphina: *"No severing of important body parts, remember!"* Sheemie: *"Well Raphina, I think now we're talking about just it being fake."* Raphina: *"OK good, but just in case."*
* Zorbing! https://youtu.be/BUSsrYi60dY

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*

## References

1. ↑ Libeartoggle Mutual (a pun on Liberty Mutual) was the name that Adam came up with for the regional insurance company in Beartoggle.
2. ↑ See episode 299: Like a Zen Rake
3. ↑ The Discord comments that Adam references can be found here in the #spoiler-zone
4. ↑ Will picked up his *Scroll of Scrying* in the Abbey of Saint Markovia's wine cellar. See episode 76: Snickerdoodle
5. ↑ See episode 187: We Have a Lot To Discover About Raphina's Digestive System
6. ↑ See episode 261: I Popped SO MANY Water Balloons!
7. ↑ See episode 28: The Fifth Pope of London
8. ↑ See episode 241: Raphina Phalange and the Pots
9. ↑ See episode 319: Sir, Your Horse Is Out of Tune