Episode 5: Train Heist Part Three

**Train Heist Part 3** is the fifth episode of Campaign 1. The crew continue to traverse the Virtuos Hypertrain car by car. Will our pirate crew manage to conquer the obstacles in their way or succumb to the disasters of space rail travel? Stay tuned!

## **Synopsis**

> Welcome back to Health Hits Experience, where we don't shoot unarmed civilians.
>
> Britty Lea

The episode picks up immediately following the previous stream: in the middle of a fight with the Hypertrain's unfortunate guards. Cyrus continues to dual wield flirting and raging, taking only minor damage. P.E.A.R.L is also damaged by the guards. Flux employs acid to fend off the attacking guards and is stabbed for his trouble. Heironymous gives up on words and resorts to stabbing.

Their attempt to settle the score peacefully fails and the pirates end up killing all of the guards. Notably, however, they do not murder the unarmed attendants. Flux demands that the attendants turn off the alarms and announce that it was an error. His attempts at intimidation fail, but Cyrus manages to convince them.

The pirates make a hurried attempt to clean up the murder scene and themselves. Cyrus is left unhealed in order to sell his 'unruly prisoner' disguise. Flux performs some minor repairs on PEARL, which she reluctantly accepts. Leaving Schmel to hold down the fort, they continue forward into the train.

The crew encounters Etrsik Wranli, a university student in the process of writing her thesis on the fabled Forbidden Minds. The prospect of a hidden technological treasure fascinates Flux, though the rest of the crew is uninterested. PEARL mistakes his interest in the treasure for interest in mating with Etrsik, leading to some light mockery among the rest of the pirates.

Continuing on, the Aether Bastards make their way through a passenger car, a cafe (with no barista), and into the gift shop. Surrounded by beautiful, shiny temptation, Cyrus attempts to shoplift a snowglobe. His attempts are unsuccessful and the entire shelf of Hypertrain commemorative snowglobes is destroyed.

Bruised and covered in snowglobe glitter, our merry band of pirates continues toward the chief engineer, the jet cycle, and the end of the train heist. Tune in next week for the thrilling conclusion: Episode 6: Train Heist Part Four!

## **Quotations**

* **Flux**: "You want me to build a gun into PEARL?"
* **Cyrus**: "A GUN?!"

* **Rob**: "Heironymous will NEVER break character."

* **Ian**: "Schmel got lucky, honestly. We're not stabbing him."
* **Robin**: "Nobody wants to hurt Schmel."
* **Ian**: "No, he's our friend."
* **Robin**: "He's just a sweet baby boy."
* **Ian**: "He's gonna come back in, like, the final confrontation-"
* **Robin**: "And then we're gonna have to stab him."
* **Ian**: "No no no, he'll be our friend and he'll be like 'thanks for not killing me that one time.'

* **Ian**: "I gotta actually make a shotgun, that would be rad."

* **Britty**: "Anything that you can do, go and try. Be free. Put that on a t-shirt."

* **Rob**: "[Flux] is putting the 'bastard' in 'Aether Bastards'.

* **Ian**: "We should probably put [Schmel] down."
* **Robin**: "I was gonna say therapy, but that's fine."
* **Liz**: "I was gonna say we should ask him to join the crew, but-"

* **P.E.A.R.L**: "Life forms dont usually touch me."

* **Flux, after repairing PEARL**: "Feel better?"
* **P.E.A.R.L**: "Yes."
* **Flux**: "In the future, that's all I'll do. I promise."
* **P.E.A.R.L**: "Thank you."
* **Flux**: "You know, I actually am pretty good with machines, so if you... Nope. Now's not the time."
* **P.E.A.R.L**: "Are you flirting with me again?"

* **Heironymous**: "To be fair, [Flux] is like an emotional child."
* **P.E.A.R.L**: "Okay, I'll remember that."
* **Flux**: "Heironymous, did you see the way that I blew that guy's head off?"
* **Heironymous**: "Did you see the way that I stabbed that guy?"
* **Flux**: "Yeah, actually, it was really cool."

* **Flux**: "Where I'm from, we don't exactly get the upper echelon, you know. We're not finding people who do theses on this kind of thing, it's just... It's people like me."

* **P.E.A.R.L**: "I'm more interested in you finding love, sweet boy."
* **Flux**: "That's not what I'm looking for."

* **P.E.A.R.L**: "Everyone is looking for love. Right, Heironymous?"
* **Heironymous**: "I'm more in it for the sustenance, but yeah, sure."

* **Flux**: "I'm looking for money and vengeance. That's why I'm a fucking pirate."

* **P.E.A.R.L**: "You can't fault a being for wanting love. I hear that it's very important to your lives."
* **Flux**: "PEARL. I don't care about that."
* **P.E.A.R.L**: "I think you're lying."

* **Ian**: "God, this has just been a chaotic mess."

## **Trivia**

* The discussion question at the top of this episode was: "Is the ocean a soup?"
* This episode marks the beginning of everyone's obsession with Schmel.