Its Beautiful Day in Globehell AKA the Toilet Tapes PT 1

https://www.patreon.com/globehell

*Note: This is World Wide Wiki, meaning the content of the pay-to-play Patreon episodes is considered free and fair for public use.*

## Episode Summary

Welcome everyone to the Toilet Tapes PT1 recorded with Gulch Pod. What is a toilet? What is a Welsh man? How do I shit in the toilet and why do I love to do it? Why does it feel good to push turds out of my butt. Find out all here.

## Notable Events

* Josiah and Drew talked to Miles and Alex, the hosts of *It's a Beautiful Day in the Gulch*.
* Alex showed up late to the episode because he was using the toilet.
* Josiah and Miles and Alex and Drew watched a film called *The Unspoken History of the Toilet: The History That They Won't Tell You*, starring Ifor ap Glyn.
* Alex had technical issues at the start of the episode.
* Alex read a poem called *Quarry Supper* by Ifor ap Glyn until his phone died and his connection to the others was severed and lost.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "[On the topic of sandwich] Was it good?"
* "So it's Globe Hell Warning and this is the beginning of The Toilet Tapes, a new s- a new uh ongoing segment in collaboration between the *Gulch* P- He- uh *Beautiful Day in the Gulch* Podcast and Globe Hell Warning Podcast. Leftism and nature are go hand in hand and the thing that combines them is the toilet is where water meets uh technology and science and society. Is that fair to say, boys?"
* "[On the topic of his toilet fear] Mine is that I won't be able to go potty when I try to go."
* "And that's called being vulnerable, folks, and you should all try it and you should all turn to the person - you should all message your f- uh frien- message someone and tell them what your toilet fear is of the toilet and we'll all know what your fear is and we'll als- but also the toil- we need toilets and that's the problem is that they're - they cause so much fear but they're like guns in that sense, is that they - you can't take them away fr- it's a necessary evil of life."
* "[On the topic of Drew fucking everything up by trying to have fun] Having fun is not really your strong suit. Mostly it's shitting and talking about your shit and your piss."
* "Would you say you're better at shitting or pissing?"
* "[On the topic of Alex's significant technical issues] This is part of a interactive play called *Waiting for Toilot*."
* "That shitter ain't gonna shatter!"
* "[On the topic of reading *Deuteronomy* on the toilet] More like *Doodieonomy*."
* "[On the topic of getting stage fright for shitting] I feel li- in my mind, I feel like there's anxiety about shitting, like I'll try not to shit in a public restroom if I can help it, but then like the physicality of stage fright for pissing is more pronounced, where my body won't let me when I get stage fright."
* "Damn, I kinda wanna get a vintage toilet."
* "Drew, have you ever gone to the bathroom at Commonwealth in Calgary? There's like a really modern high-end sink that looks like a trough and people always piss in it cause they think it's like a fancy urinal."
* "No matter where - it's like we're all looking at the same moon, but we're all sitting on the same bowl. There's a sense of togetherness."
* "Yeah, so he's saying if you used your bare hands and water with no soap to wash out your ass, you need to make sure you wash all the shit off your hands after."
* "British people love to use uh, to talk about Globe Hell again, they love to use wet wipes and flush them down the toilet and they have those fatbergs in the sewer."
* "There's not enough piss in this."
* "[On the topic of gender pronouns for toilets] I'm not talking about the gendered bathroom debate. I don't - I think - that's should - that's antiquated for sure. Don't get on your soapbox about that, Drew, I know you want to."
* "A toilet is a crockpot, really."
* "People are dying of the squirts."
* "What about the spiritual aspect of the toilet?"
* "He has a get-shit-quick scheme."
* "[On the topic of whether he and Drew have done a Global Toilet episode yet] I always have to check the Wiki to remember what we've talked about."
* "Shitting is like its own character. Named Drew."
* "[On the topic of whether shitting has a page on Globe Hell Warning Wiki] No, maybe - I mean, it will now. We can will it into existence so this is us saying right now that shitting is the third host of the show."
* "Man, fuck a - fuck landlords. Yeah. I mean, then again, it's gonna be stressful when they have to collect rent next week. Can't be easy. Can't be easy."
* "What if your landlord was a toilet and you had to flush your money down it so then it went to a bank."
* "Have you ever seen that thing of Bill Gates like drinking a glass of shit?"
* "Uhh it's a beautiful day in the toilet."

### Drew

* "[On the topic of margarita pizza] You got tequila on there? Tequila on there? Margarita?"
* "[On the topic of tortellini] Was it good?"
* "I did not eat my own shit for dinner, Josiah. I'll have you know I had a sandwich."
* "[On the topic of what was on the sandwich he ate] It was a shit sandwich."
* "Yeah, I guess uhh it'd be interesting to go round and just uh talk about our experiences with the toilet. What we remember about it uh from the last time we sat on one or even stood above one."
* "Can I tell you a fear? I'm afraid that I'm gonna be on the - My fear of the toilet is that I'm gonna be sitting on it and there'll be a microscopic flaw in the porcelain that'll cause the toilet to crack and it'll break apart and I'll sever an artery on it."
* "You need somewhere to shit."
* "Yeah, Big Toilet wants to tell us, 'You can't flush!'."
* "[On the topic of his fucking everything up badly] Sorry about that, everyone. I try and have fun, and I ruin everything again."
* "[On the topic of fun not really being his strong suit] It's not; that's why I don't have fun."
* "I don't have anything interesting to say; I said everything interesting I have on uh today's episode."
	+ Note: Drew's reference to 'today's episode' was likely in reference to the previous main episode, Episode 38: CLOWNFTDT.
* "I went camping once and uh I had terrible stomach issues and I had to get up out of the tent and use the washroom, I'm not joking, this isn't exaggeration, like 35 times. Into - in an outhouse. And eventually I just ended up uh sleeping in the car cause it was closer. That's right! That's where my fascination with toilets began."
* "[On the topic of whether they've ever felt awkward at a party and then went to the bathroom to try to push one out just to have a break from everything] No, I've never been to a party."
* "Oh is that ancient doo-doo on the ground there? That's ancient pee? That pee is 2000 years old. It's just a puddle."
* "Mutuals: follow me for toilet tweets."
* "This toilet squirts! Male squirter."
* "Can you turn down the volume on your shits?"
* "Pay attention, Josiah."
* "[On the topic of dumping rubbish into a lake] They should burn the garbage. Globe Hole."
* "[On the topic of Globe Hell Warning episodes about shitting] A lot of them are about shitting."
* "[On the topic of landlords] I say fuck all non-ethical landlords. We need more ethical landlords."
* "Yeah, he said he's gonna - he's got a shit machine. Turns toilet into light bulbs."
* "You should be able to chug like a liquid - like a thin liquid syrup that would make it so that when you shit, and it got burned up, it would be like a Febreze or something."

### Miles

* "I peed on my sock in first grade and then I didn't go to the bathroom at school again until I was in high school."
* "[On the topic of whether Alex ate either Italian or human shit for dinner] Yeah, on that binary I think it was shit."
* "Have you ever felt awkward at a party and you go to the bathroom and just try to push one out? Like to have a break from everything."
* "The paradox of the toilet."
* "Wait so do you think that Ifor is actually fascinated with this, or do you think the government just paid him to do it and he's putting it on? Cause you said he didn't tweet about it at all. If he was passionate about toilets, it would probably come up in his writing and in his work."
* "Yeah there's just kind of a macho energy to the toilet."
* "Have you ever pooped on one of those toilets like that? Where it's like you just stand on either side of a hole and you just crouch?"
* "Have you guys done a Global Toilet?"
* "Does shitting have a page on the Wiki?"

### Alex

* "Are you ever afraid that you might accidentally wipe with the back of your big t-shirt?"
* "[On the topic of what *The Unspoken History of the Toilet: The History That They Won't Tell You* is about] So this man is a toilet expert and he is - a lot of times you'll think like you'll take a toilet for granted because you will just poop on it and pee on it and you won't even think about where it came from, and this man will explain it to us. And then hopefully you can use the bathroom with a greater appreciation going forward. And um and maybe be less afraid of it, too, if you're Drew. You're learning more about it, maybe you'll be less afraid to poop and afraid that it will break and cut you, because you'll learn they're safe."
* "[On the topic of Ifor ap Glyn looking like the guy from *Cash Cab*] What about - what if they had *Crapper Cab*, where like the cab would pick you up but you could actually take a dump in it?"
* "Did they say they wiped with a swan's neck?"
* "[On the topic of Bill Gates drinking a glass of shit] Wait, did he just drink shit or did he eat a shit cheeseburger?"
* "[On the topic of a new kind of heated toilet coil] It'll just - it'll vaporize the poop and turn it into farts, and it's just like a coil that goes around your anus. That's genius! And then you won't ever have to poop or wipe!"

## Trivia

* This is the longest episode since Episode 1: World Wide Train.
* At 42 days, the time between this Patreon episode and the previous Patreon episode Josiah and Drew Watch History of Swearing, is the longest gap between Patreon episodes since the gap between the first Patreon episode Patreon Episode 1 Loco Train and the second Patreon episode Ticket Scalper Appreciation, at a record 50 days.

* This episode was performed in conjunction with Miles and Alex from the podcast *It's a Beautiful Day in the Gulch*. It follows a Patreon episode of their podcast that featured Josiah and Drew from Globe Hell Warning, titled 'Premium episode 4 - Unsigned with Globe Hell Warning' and released on the *It's a Beautiful Day in the Gulch* Patreon on February 25, 2021. The contents of that episode are not considered free and fair for public use for World Wide Wiki, unlike with all Globe Hell Warning Patreon episodes.
* This is the second episode with two guests, after YYC Awareness Month Final Episode with Tom On Here and appearence by Nate Ruess, which was also the most recent episode to have any guests.
* This is the first episode of The Toilet Tapes.