Preorder

**Preordering** is a whale's favorite past time whenever they manage to steal their mothers' credit card. It consists of the act of foolishly buying several packs for an expansion before even half of it is revealed. Sometimes, preorders are nothing more than a scam for stupid people, particularly when expansions are so shit they fail to do anything worthwhile. In these scenarios, the scammed whale has effectively wasted dozens of dollars on digital nothingness, as if real life nothingness wasn't bad enough.

## Reasons to preorder

Blizzard, as a company, *needs* to give costumers valid reasons to prepurchase their crap. More importantly (and this is of the utmost relevance to the topic at hand), they need to give costumers what they'll believe are valid reasons to prepurchase crap. These include:

* 20 extra packs (these were, however, WW packs, which thus makes this a multiplication by zero)
* Mecha Jaraxxus
* "You thank them for making such a wonderful and balanced game." (despite only touching it 4 times a year)
* A card back to show off your ability to use your parents' money
* Good RNG for the first hour after the expansion launch
* Golden Legendaries!
* Normal Legendaries!
* Alternate Heroes that finally, as of 2020, have some effort put into them

## Reasons to not preorder

Now, as our greatest fans grow impatient, we must go over the reasons why it is usually a bad idea to preorder, or at least, preorder like the retards at Hearthpwn usually do:

* You have no fucking clue about what you are buying. It could be the worst thing ever.
* If Blizzard gets your money so effing easily, then they'll never stop scratching their balls instead of working, because everything is fine as long as dumbasses like you pay regardless. You moron.
* You gain support from saltlords on Hearthpwn by declaring it is a waste of money
* F2P is a 100% viable alternative to the P2W strat
* Everyone pays the same, but some get golden legendaries and good cards, while others open nothing but Worgen Greasers
* You can dust your Wild cards instead!
* Packs are useless. You will most certainly end up having to craft the good stuff regardless.
* If you are not American, you are actively agreeing to pay more than the original price because Blizzard does not care about conversion value.

## I wanna support Blizzard without letting them slack off! What do?

Here's a handy list of steps to follow if you want Blizzard to earn your money instead of just taking it off your hands:

1. Wait for at least 60% of the cards to be revealed. If they are majorly trash, DO NOT PREORDER! If they look like fun, janky trash, and you are into that sort of thing, feel free to preorder.
2. Think about whether you are actually paying for the expansion or if Blizzard is just holding cosmetic stuff at gunpoint to coerce you to give them money.
3. If you are unsure, examine the last expansions: were they good or great? Were they the absolute worst? The answer might guide you well enough.
4. **Do not ask Hearthpwn about what you should do!** Seriously, besides stoking the flames for yet another fanboy vs saltlord flamewar, there is no real benefit to asking Hearthpwn *anything* related to pre-purchases.
5. Wait for the Cancer Card Dump. Here is where the future meta usually reveals itself. ~~Does it look cancerous?~~ of course it does. But does it look like *your* sort of cancer? If yes, purchase away.