Harry Smith and the Poser Pirate Parade

**Harry Smith and the Poser Pirate Parade** is an episode of The Bully TV series, originally aired in August 2016.

## Plot

The episode begins with Harry Smith and David Marshall discussing their successful Black Foot Gang pirate missions before having a fart-off. Mae MacDonald and Louisa McIntyre smell the methane and peek over, cackling...

The next day at Colham High School, Jamie Wallace stuffs mouldy cheese in Harry's pants and tells him that Mae is hosting a pirate parade this weekend, and she's invited everyone in 5F except Black Foot Gang members! He stomps around the playground with fury, breaking Edward Wallace's foot.

After school Harry notices DOWNS vans full of pirate party supplies parked outside Mae's house. Susan MacDonald and Malcolm MacDonald bring everything inside using forklift trucks - Harry advises the former that Mae shouldn't host a pirate parade as a huge cloud of radiation is forecast to leak out of the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant this weekend. Mae overhears and shrieks at him, so he runs home for the sake of his ears. James Smith skips around the living room squealing over The Perfect Pansies Club being invited too! He does a fart of anger; there's only one thing that can prove that the Black Foot Gang pirates rule over the Confidential Cuties posers...a pirate curse!

Later a rat skull flies through Mae's bedroom window, knocking a stack of No Direction CD singles over. Ghost noises echo from the garden before a blob of plain white sauce splatters all over the moody girl's face! She storms outside with fury to notice cutlasses embedded in the lawn, then she slips on a heap of dog poops with a pirate hat on top. Harry dashes into the garden screaming that she is now under the curse of Wicked Whitebum! He tells her the whole story...

A thousand years ago, the Black Foot Gang pirates led by Wicked Whitebum, the most courageous pirate on Volcanus, sailed to the island of Barneyoiram to search for a golden Hyper Soaker buried there. However, they were intercepted by the cowardly Confidential Cuties pirates who sunk their ship and tied Wicked Whitebum to a tree near an active volcano. In his last few hours he uttered his curse...from that day onwards, anyone with the surname MacDonald who starts a pirate parade on a weekend will become fatter than Stella Naganuma, have their limbs chopped off by Sinco tribes and roll into a pit of molten lava. Mae bursts into fake tears. Susan, Malcolm, Grace Smith and Liam Smith all rush outside; she tells on Harry for announcing the Confidential Cuties pirates are doomed. As nobody believes the curse, Liam locks him in the boiler room all night.

The day of the parade finally dawns. Harry has a plan to get rid of the poser pirates for good...he dresses in his pirate costume, grinds up James' chalks, pours the dust all over himself and adds a few splats of red paint. Susan hands treasure maps to everyone in the parade before they all dash off on a treasure hunt, except for Caleb McKinnon who is gobbling all the party food while farting, and James who is sniffing flowers. Harry jumps in front of the latter and introduces himself as Wicked Whitebum's ghost, on a mission to rid Volcanus of poser pirates for all of eternity. The stinky nappy poo-poo baby drops his treasure map and sprints into Mae's house, wailing.

Harry inspects the treasure map, starting to work backwards from the clues. He figures out that the treasure is thirty paces south of the half-eaten pirate ship cake, which Caleb scoffs the rest of in one go and burps. Following this clue he finds a pile of shovels on the ground; he starts digging. After the disappointments of finding a broken teapot, a 1992 Fancy Hippos annual and a time capsule with old dummies inside, he pulls out a treasure chest stuffed with chocolate coins! He crams as many as he can into his costume.

Soon Mae and her gang of poser pirates spot him nicking the treasure! She hops on Caleb's Ultimate Mobility Scooter and zooms after him waving a dagger. Harry luckily shifts a loose fence panel to return to his garden, doing an enormous fart at the pirate parade through a hole in the fence. They cough and faint, not noticing vikings about to raid Mae's treehouse. Suddenly Grace catches him red-handed! She screams at him for ruining Liam's best shirt as part of his costume, then she ties him upside-down to a tree to confiscate all his booty. A ripped up pop music magazine falls from Mae's treehouse window - she bursts inside only to see it ransacked! She rolls on the floor crying and admits the Black Foot Gang pirates are the best after all. Harry does a victory dance on Grace's new flowerbed.

## Music

* Norse by Norsewest: The Lost Vikings 2 - Pirate Ship Theme 3 (plays when Mae's parents bring the party supplies in)
* Deadstorm Pirates - Distress Selection (plays when Harry describes the backstory and curse of Wicked Whitebum)
* Norse by Norsewest: The Lost Vikings 2 - Pirate Ship Theme 1 (plays when Harry prepares to crash the pirate parade)
* Norse by Norsewest: The Lost Vikings 2 - Pirate Ship Theme 2 (plays when Harry searches for and digs up the treasure)
* Deadstorm Pirates - Stizzoso (plays when the pirate parade chases Harry)
* Metal Hawk - BGM 1 (plays during Harry's victory dance)