Bloodstar

**Genre**

"Bloodstar" is a multi-part song written by Mikaela Thorn, recorded under her alias ThornBrain. It was released on her fifth album, *Rise in Love*. The segments are separated in the tracklisting for ease of listening, but they are considered part of the same suite.

## Segments

1. "Bloodstar"
2. "The Singer Died Today"
3. "Afraid of Music"

## About

The suite is composed of three songs that are stylistically unrelated. "Bloodstar" is dark Post-Punk, "The Singer Died Today" is Cocteau Twins-inspired Ethereal Wave, and "Afraid of Music" has three sections of its own: part 1 is an organ, guitar and drum machine instrumental, part 2 is Art Rock, and part 2 is Dream Rock/Shoegaze. The songs are connected by the story of a dream, (see below), and the use of a drum machine; "Afraid of Music" also shares a bass line with the coda of "Bloodstar".

The sound of a dog barking is run through a vocoder in "Bloodstar" in reference to "Dogs" by Pink Floyd. The chopped and erratic drums in "The Singer Died Today" are Lilz Martin's drums from "Last Minute Thought of a Man on Fire" run through effects. The use of drum machines is inspired by their use in "Hiroshima Mon Amour" by Ultravox, "Spoon" by Can, and throughout the music of Suicide; the distorted organ in "Bloodstar" is also inspired by Suicide.

### Story

The suite is a stream-of-consciousness dream Thorn is having that combines multiple events from the previous five years into different stories. It starts layered in metaphor before the layers start peeling away in "Afraid of Music". The album starts to be more directly about Thorn herself from then-on.

"Bloodstar" is set aboard the titular airship above a world dying in a flood of light, inspired by *Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers*. A character named David has had his emotions removed so that he can only feel them when he chooses to reinject them. David is named after David Bowie, whose death in 2016 is considered "ground zero" for the events that inspired this album.

David and another character Scott, named after Scott Walker who died in 2019, commit suicide in "The Singer Died Today" by jumping off *Bloodstar*. The narrator and another character Wendy, named after composer Wendy Carlos, watch them fall and remember another dead character Angela, named after the late composer Angela Morley who did orchestral arrangements for Scott Walker in his early solo albums. Wendy and Angela are namechecked less for their connection to the events of 2016-2021 and more as tribute for being notable, award-winning, transfemale musicians in the 70s, and Thorn considers them inspirations along with Bowie and Walker.

In "Afraid of Music", the dream changes to a story where Thorn dreams she's the stereotypical 1950's white male husband to a 50's housewife, Sue, and has just been mugged outside their house. This section of song is inspired by "Sue (Or in a Season of Crime)" by David Bowie from his final album *Blackstar*, plus the hallucination Devo's Mark Mothersbaugh said he had when he fell into a coma from COVID-19 wherein he was convinced that he had been mugged rather than he had succumbed to illness. As the song continues, Thorn starts remembering her first breakup, which happened right before the 2016 presidential election, as well as blowing out her diaphragm in 2018 and the death of her grandmother in 2020 after a period of Alzheimer's; these combine into Sue, who starts behaving erratically. Thorn begins fearing becoming old herself, fearing that she will become inflexible and afraid of change in her old age despite being a progressive at her current age, and is also coming to terms with being trans as her 30s approach. COVID and Thorn blowing out her diaphragm are both referenced in the lines about breathing. The song ends with her waking up, stressed from the dream she just had and facing her internal struggles.

## Lyrics

### Bloodstar

Our world is drowning in a sea of light

We're all hiding up in a balloon

David was already 30

And most of his senses were gone

So he had himself emptied

To better control his emotions

Bloodstar hovers

Night light covers

Free

Nothing worries me

His birthday was longer than others

He watched Bob Dylan's fans go extinct

There are dozens down there right now

And we're still wondering how

Their heads don't float off the oceans

Bloodstar hovers

Night light covers

Free

Nothing worries me

David never gave response when

His mother died without warning

Long in a sepulchral state

It wasn't 'till four weeks late

He decided to inject some mourning

Bloodstar hovers

Night light covers

It's much better now

Most of his vials are still full

There's a heart on a chain

On his dresser

From losing his lover

David breaks his weeks of silence

He injects the last of his nerve

Says maybe the death of those around us

Is the fate that we deserve

### The Singer Died Today

Something happened when David died

Scott approached him and they both stepped aside

I wish more of me cried

That too had died

I was alive in their time

Wendy watched them learn to fly

The hard way

So that's another story done

In light bay

She thought of Angela

She too had died

They both stepped aside

I was alive in their time

I wish more of me cried

I watched them melt in light

From my room

So that's another story done

All our tomb

I was alive in their time

### Afraid of Music

The story took a turn

Now I'm the well-coifed spouse

To a sundressed wife awaiting

My return from being mugged outside our house

Turn that off

Take your hands off

Turn that off

Take your hands off

You should never have married my son

Sue inside the house

Doesn't turn when I open the door

Sue I told you I'm safe

But I'm sorry, we've run out of people to mourn

Do you find it hard to move these days

Do you sometimes forget to breathe

I never saw her turn around

She screams at me

Turn that off

Take your hands off

Turn that off

Take your hands off

You should never have married my son

Who is she now that story is done

Now I see the heart on the dresser

Now I'm holding you again

You've been vapor

In my half-thoughts

Longer than we were

Ever together

Can't listen to our song no more

I'm afraid of music now

Can't walk down our road no more

I'm afraid of music now

Have you heard me since

I wondered if you'd learned

My clogged lungs took me down

And everything about me turned

Do you find it hard to change these days

Do you sometimes forget to free

The ones who won't turn around

She screams at me

I've been vapor

In my own hide

Can't listen to myself no more

I'm afraid of music now

Can't help when I'm down no more

I'm afraid of music now

Can't look at myself no more

I'm afraid of music now

Can't walk in this town no more

I'm afraid of music now

Ah that's better

No more worries

Ah that's better

No more worries

Can't listen to myself no more

Can't help when I'm down no more

I'm afraid of music now

Turn that off

I've been vapor

In my own hide

Oh, the story took a turn

Now I'm alone in bed

No, there's not enough room here

To hide the open thread

Can't listen to myself no more

Can't help when I'm down no more

I'm afraid of music now

Turn that off