Gwonam's Gweat Adventuwe; or, Dino Time Enough for Love

Dino Time Enough for Love

***Gwonam's Gweat Adventuwe; or, Dino Time Enough for Love*** is a YTP video by WalrusGuy, uploaded on July 22, 2013. It is a satire of the delayed release of the film *Dino Time* in which Gwonam attempts suicide upon receiving this news, then finds himself on an odyssey of dying and being resurrected repeatedly while watching parts of *Dino Time* during his near-death experiences.

*Gwonam's Gweat Adventuwe* has received universal acclaim from viewers for its creative storytelling, humor, sentence mixing, and character arc for Gwonam as he learns to overcome obsession with novelties and appreciate what good he already has. Some viewers have even called it one of the greatest YTPs of all time. It is widely considered the reason why most people who know about *Dino Time* are aware of its existence, and it was shown in its entirety at an official MAGfest YTP Panel.

## Plot

Gwonam watches a trailer for the film *Dino Time* and arrives at Hyrule Castle on December 7, 2012, the date of the movie's planned American premier. When he asks King Harkinian where it is, the King informs him that it's now gone, as it was not released in theaters. Gwonam melts down and declares that there is no God, Jesus, Allah, or any reason to go on living before he bids his friends goodbye and jumps to his seeming death off the balcony. Link jests that he'd better go scrub the floors, making the King and Zelda laugh.

Gwonam hears the trailer announcer recite part of Shakespeare's Hamlet's soliloquy and begins having a near-death experience where he sees the opening scenes of *Dino Time*, albeit altered humorously in true YouTube Poop fashion. However, his watching the film is interrupted by the sound of a crying baby, and he wakes up in a hospital after being a coma for an indefinite period of time. Though the King claims Gwonam was comatose for only a month, he is a number of years older with a gray beard. Meanwhile, Link has grown a goatee, and Zelda is carrying their baby in her arms. Gwonam starts to ask what happened during his coma, but the King dismisses him and declares he will go to Subway for dinner. Zelda follows, but Link stays for a bit when Gwonam begs him to kill him so he can see more of *Dino Time*. Link reminds him that his smart sword won't hurt anyone friendly and only makes them sing "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot. Gwonam insults Link, allowing him to kill him before leaving to rejoin Zelda and the King.

Following another experience, Gwonam is resurrected as a robotic gargoyle by Xanatos and Demona from *Gargoyles*. When he sees his new form in the mirror, he becomes horrified and exclaims, "What has science done?!" before exploding. In his next experience, the sound is muted, so he panics when he concludes he must be in Hell.

After a sudden outburst of loud sound effects, Gwonam finds himself resurrected as his normal self before the aliens from *A.I.: Artificial Intelligence*, who explain to him that he is the enduring memory of the now-extinct human race and they want only for his happiness. Gwonam insists they let him see the rest of *Dino Time*. The announcer says that Gwonam's experience is now "about to become reality", and Gwonam watches the film's inciting incident when the three protagonists — Ernie, Julia, and Max — inadvertently activate a time machine that is supposed to send them to prehistoric times but instead causes the world to turn into Barry B. Benson's face. The film ends abruptly, and as the credits role, Gwonam responds to the closing song's lyrics that he is not ready to go or say goodbye. He then travels back to his home time through one of the later clips of *Dino Time*, when the children are being taken to their home time in Max's father's jeep. Arriving back in Hyrule and interrupting a kiss between Link and Zelda, Gwonam says he no longer cares about *Dino Time* and will go have fun in Koridai before happily leaving on his carpet.

## Transcript

[*Film trailer for* Dino Time]

**Announcer:** For Ernie, …
**Ernie:** I can’t.
**Announcer:** The most important part of fucking…
**Ernie:** I won’t.
**Announcer:** Is all about having the king!
**Ernie:** But I must!
**Julia:** Sneaking out and drinking a soda? Double busted!
**Announcer:** 2D *Dino Time* in 3D!
[*Time card "December 7th 2012" is shown. At Hyrule Castle, Gwonam flies in on his magic carpet.*]

**Gwonam:** Your Majesty, where the hell is *Dino Time*?
**King Harkinian:** Gone.
**Gwonam:** What did you say?
**King Harkinian:** Gone.
**Gwonam:** Are you telling me there is no *Dino Time*?
**King Harkinian:** Yes!
**Gwonam:** Oh… Well… There is no God. There is no Jesus. There is no Allah. There is no reason to go on living. Goodbye! [*Jumps off balcony and screams, followed by a splattering noise*]
**Link:** I guess I’d better scrub the floors.
**King Harkinian & Zelda:** [*Laughing*]
[*Gwonam's first near-death experience, featuring the opening credits and scenes from* Dino Time]

**Announcer:** To die, to sleep, perchance to dream. In that sleep of death, what dreams may come.
**Gwonam:** What have we here? A bird! Two birds! Can this be? Yay! *Dino Time Enough* at last!
**Ernie:** On a scale of one to ten, rocketboarding is totally a seven! [*Almost falls off rocket board, then rides off happily*] Whoa! Woo! Woohoo!
**Ernie:** This is Iraq: pretty decent place to live, especially if you're in for [*dialogue unknown*] like me.
**Julia:** How dare you?!
**Ernie:** [*Making a nearby car explode*] Racist! How's your period?
**Julia:** Mom's gonna be store!
**Ernie:** Here's a quarter, Jules. Call me maybe! [*He drops a quarter, which is shown to have an image of Gwonam on its obverse.*] If you can find a quarter.
**Ernie:** And this is Mystery Rock. [*Mystery Rock appears pixelated. Focus on a carving of Gwonam on the rock.]* See that carving? It's been dated all the way back to the Cretaceous Period! Which is weird 'cause no humans were around 145 million years ago. Mysterious, huh? Right! That's where we got the name. [*He hears a baby crying.*]
[*Gwonam wakes up in a hospital. King Harkinian now has a gray beard and hair, Link has a goatee, and Zelda is carrying their crying baby.*]

**Link:** Hey, that old guy woke up!
**Gwonam:** Where am I?
**King Harkinian:** In Hyrule.
**Link:** You were in a coma. [*He slaps Zelda on the back, making their baby's crying stop*]
**Gwonam:** Oh. How long?
**King Harkinian:** A month.
**Gwonam:** I see. What happened during the time I was—?
**King Harkinian:** Enough! I'm going to Subway for dinner.
**Zelda:** We're going? What about Link?
**Link:** I'm going. I'm so hungry, I could eat a dinosaur!
**Gwonam:** Woah! Link, come here!
**Link:** Huh?
**Gwonam:** You must kill me.
**Link:** *(Gulps)* Of course not!
**Gwonam:** Please, I must escape into the dinosaur world. Use your sword to end my pathetic life!
**Link:** Forget it. That's my smart sword. It won't hurt anyone friendly. In fact, it makes them sing "Baby Got Back"! [*Zaps himself with sword*] "I like big butts and I cannot lie."
**Gwonam:** Well, fine, Link. You can sit and skid!
**Link:** Hey, that's not friendly. In fact, I think you're a dick.
**Gwonam:** Now you can kill me.
**Link:** I guess so. Here goes nothing. [*Kills Gwonam with sword*]
**Zelda:** Link?
**Link:** I'm going! [*He exits*]
[*Gwonam's second near-death experience. Ernie's mother Sue confronts him in their house.*]

**Ernie:** Okay, can I just point out that, technically, I didn't get raped?
**Sue:** You did, and you know it. Now, I'm grounding you for three weeks!
**Ernie:** You!
**Sue:** It's my rule, Ernie. And no dinner!
**Ernie:** [*Entering his bedroom*] It's not fair! [*Observing an open window*] There's an open window right next to me. Any other time, I wouldn't think twice. [*Contemplating going out the window*] I can't. I won't. [*His face becomes distorted, and his voice changes*] I must! [*Evil laughter*]
[*Gwonam is resurrected as a robotic gargoyle.*]

**Demona:** As you said, it's alive.
**Xanatos:** Can it hear us?
**Gwonam:** What has happened? I thought I died.
**Demona:** [*Gestures towards Xanatos*] This is Xanatos. [*Gestures towards mirror*] It is he who has turned you into this!
**Gwonam:** [*Looking in mirror*] What has science done?!
[*A repeated beeping sound plays, followed by Gwonam exploding, thus entering the third near-death experience. All sound is now muted except for Gwonam's voice.*]

**Gwonam:** What happened? There is no sound. I can't hear. Oh, no! This must be Hell!
[*Series of loud sound effects. Gwonam is again resurrected with his original appearance and finds himself standing before faceless aliens on a spaceship*]

**Alien #1:** We've revived the legendary Squadala Guy.
**Alien #2:** HOAH SHIP
**Alien #3:** We began a project that would make it possible to recreate the living body of a person from the DNA found in a fragment of mummified mathematical formulas. And you know what we found?
**Gwonam:** *Dino Time*?
**Alien #3:** I thought this would be hard for you to understand.
**Gwonam:** I must see the rest of *Dino Time*!
**Alien #3:** You are the enduring memory of the human race. We only want for your happiness.
**Gwonam:** Then consider letting me see *Dino Time*!
**Announcer:** Now, your dream's about to become reality!
[*Gwonam is shown more of* Dino Time*.*]

**Max:** Be careful! Some of this stuff, even my dad doesn't know what it might do!
**Ernie:** Gimme that phone!
[*He spills soda on the time machine, activating it.*]

**Ernie, Julia, and Max:** I didn't do it!
[*As the time machine begins to transport the children back in time, the world is transformed into Barry B. Benson's face. The film ends abruptly, and the credits roll.*]

**Gwonam:** That's it? That ending sucked!
**Song lyrics:** "Maybe I don't know the way. Maybe I don't know. Are you ready to go? Are you ready to leave? Are you ready to say goodbye?"
**Gwonam:** No! I'm not ready to go! I'm not ready to say goodbye!
[*Ernie, Julia, Max, Sue, and Dr. Santiago take Dr. Santiago's jeep through the time continuum back to their home time. Gwonam follows suit on his carpet.*]

**Sue:** I saw the carvings on the rock.
**Ernie:** Except I never got the chance, Mom. I went chasing after Jules, so… how'd it get there?
**Gwonam:** Squadala! We're off!
[*Gwonam enters a time portal and falls through the sky back into Hyrule, interrupting a kiss between Link and Zelda.*]

**Gwonam:** Well, now!
**Link:** Huh? I mean, hey!
**Gwonam:** Screw *Dino Time*! I'm going to go have fun in Koridai! [*Flying away on his carpet*] Squadala! I'm here!
[*End credits*]

**Song lyrics:** "What's your destination in the world? Oh-oh. What's your motivation to survive?"
**Announcer:** To deep for me.
## Trivia

* Every time Gwonam dies or is about to die, part of "Suicide is Painless", the opening theme to the film *M\*A\*S\*H* and its spinoff TV series, can be heard.
* When robotic gargoyle Gwonam sees his reflection, the cue "Dramatic Impact (5)" by Ivor Slaney, often heard in classic *SpongeBob SquarePants* episodes, plays.
* When the aliens revive Gwonam, one of them says, "HOAH SHIP" in the subtitles, in reference to one of King Harkinian's sentence-mixed catchphrases.