Ash Meets The Queen & Other Stories

**Ash Meets The Queen & Other Stories** is an Ash & Friends spoof to the 1997 Thomas video entitled: Thomas Meets The Queen & Other Stories. It is composed of the last six Season 4 episodes narrated by George Carlin for the US, plus one song.

## Description

* Welcome to the land of YTV and exciting adventures with Ash Ketchum & Friends. Shaggy has an accident with a bucket of paint and it's up to Ash and Terry to save the day when the Queen visits the railway. Gug learns just how troublesome the Beedrill can be and Lexi has to be brave when she comes face to face with a cow on the line. Come along for the ride with all of your friends - on Steven's railway, the fun never ends!

## Cast

1. Ash Ketchum as Thomas (Veronica Taylor)
2. Kevin Keene as Edward (Matt Hill)
3. Shaggy Rogers as Henry (Matthew Lillard)
4. Terry McGinnis as Gordon (Will Friedle)
5. Raimundo Pedrosa as James (Tom Kenny)
6. Alexander "Alex" O'Connell as Percy (Chris Marquette)
7. Jackie Chan as Toby (James Sie)
8. Yoshi as Stepney (Andrew Sabiston)
9. Lexi Bunny as Daisy (Jessica DiCicco)
10. Rikochet as Skarloey (Carlos Alazraqui)
11. Buster Bunny as Rheneas (Charlie Adler)
12. Ramone "Gug" Gugleano as Sir Handel (Carlos Alazraqui)
13. Froggo Peterson as Peter Sam (Nathan Ruegger)
14. Buzz O as Duncan (Matt Hill)
15. Uncle Chan as Duke (Sab Shimono)
16. Susie Feeble as Caroline (Stephanie Morgenstern)
17. Steven Ketchum as Sir Topham Hatt (Dan Green)
18. Denjiro as Tom Tipper (Mike Pollock)
19. Sonic The Hedgehog as Bertie (Jason Griffith)
20. Casey Anderson as Rusty (Andrew Decker)
21. Virgil Hawkins as Duck (Phil LaMarr)
22. Ozzy Jones as Donald (Phil LaMarr)
23. Richie Foley as Oliver (Jason Marsden)
24. Suzy as Annie (Megan Hollingshead)
25. Pietra as Clarabel (Carol Jacobanis)
26. Princess Kitana as Henrietta (Cree Summer)
27. Peter Shepard as Toad (Ashley Johnson)
28. Freakazoid as Terence (Paul Rugg)
29. Lance Alvers as Bulgy (Christopher Grey)
30. Maggie Matsumoto as The Refreshment Lady (Nicole Oliver)

## Episodes

1. Mind That Bike
2. Dinosaur Stops Play
3. Ash Meets The Queen
4. Bulls Eyes
5. Special Hat
6. Four Little Characters

## Transcript

### Mind That Bike

* George Carlin: If one day you were to travel with Sonic the Hedgehog, he would ride down the winding country road with him, crossed over stone walled bridges and travel past Ash's branch line. The you would hear Sonis' friendly greeting as he sees one of his friends pass by. His name is Denjiro the postman. Every day, Denjiro travels cheerfully around the land of YTV. He stops at stations collecting letters and parcels from Ash and Alex's mail train. Then he delivers the mail to farms and cottages far and wide. The characters know that anywhere their rails wont reach, Denjiro would collect their mail and deliver it safely come rain or shine. He's always ready to load mail bags onto the trains too.
* Alex: Thank you, Denjiro.
* George Carlin: Whistles Alex.
* Ash: Yes indeed.
* George Carlin: Agrees Ash.
* Ash: You're a really useful postman.
* Denjiro: Ah.
* George Carlin: Replies Denjiro.
* Denjiro: But where would I be without me van. We make a grand pare.
* George Carlin: One day, Denjiro wasn't at the platform. A postman they didn't know dumped the bags onto the platform and disappeared.
* Alex: What happened to Denjiro?
* George Carlin: Wondered Alex.
* Driver: And his old van.
* George Carlin: Said his driver.
* Driver: No wonder the new postman looks cross. Trying to carry mail bags on a bicycle would make everyone fucking miserable.
* George Carlin: Next morning the characters were glad to see Denjiro back again. But he looked very sad.
* Denjiro: The postmaster has decided my van is too expensive to run. The rounds take longer on my bike. I'm sorry, I can't stop to help ya, bro.
* Alex: I wished I could cheer Denjiro up.
* George Carlin: Sighed Alex O'Connell. He was just wondering about how this might have been done when his thoughts were rudely interrupted. A man was shouting at Denjiro.
* Man: You gotta come back to Steven's office! He needs you to sign some important papers right away.
* Denjiro: Oh, dear.
* George Carlin: Replied Denjiro.
* Denjiro: This is going to make me later still.
* George Carlin: He was in a hurry and being careless. He propped his bike against Alex's mail car and he rushed away.
* Alex: Stop!
* George Carlin: Cried Alex. But Denjiro was out of sight. There was even worst to come. Alex's driver hadn't seen the bike and he started away.
* Alex: Oh, no!
* George Carlin: Cried Alex.
* Alex: Now there will be strong trouble.
* George Carlin: And there was. Alex's driver quickly stop the train. Everybody came running to the scene. Denjiro's bicycle was in pieces.
* Alex: I'm sorry, Mr. Denjiro.
* George Carlin: Apologized Alex.
* Denjiro: Never mind, Alex.
* George Carlin: Said the postman.
* Denjiro: The accident's not your fault. But now I've only my legs to get the mail delivered. Whatever is gonna happen next?
* George Carlin: Denjiro soon found out. Next day he was waiting happily for Alex.
* Alex: Peep peep!
* George Carlin: Whistled Alex.
* Alex: Is that a smart new van I see?
* Denjiro: It is indeed. That accident did me a good tire, Alex. My chief decided my new van should do the job much better than my old bike and worth the expensiveness. Now I can always be right on time again.
* Alex: So I did help.
* George Carlin: Beamed Alex.
* Alex: But by accident you might say.

### Dinosaur Stops Play

* George Carlin: Yoshi the Green Dinosaur was busy talking to the other characters. It was his first visit to their railway and he was having a splendid time.
* Yoshi: You are very lucky characters.
* George Carlin: He said.
* Yoshi: Your line has got everything. It's long enough to give you a good run, and you've got plenty of passengers. Then you have a quarry and a mine, so you'll need plenty of Beedrill. Beedrill are fun. I missed them on our line.
* George Carlin: Alex was surprised. All the characters thought Beedrill cause a lot of trouble.
* Alex: You're welcome to take some of mine.
* George Carlin: He said.
* Alex: But you better ask driver first.
* George Carlin: Their drivers agreed and the two characters set it off. Ash and Jackie were speechless. Yoshi took some Beedrill to the harbour. Then he picked up the loaded ones and started back. A cricket field was up ahead. The game had just begun. Yoshi and his driver had to wait at the signal.
* Driver: Good.
* George Carlin: Said his driver.
* Driver: We can watch the game.
* George Carlin: Then there was trouble ahead. The batsman hit the ball. It went flying high into the sky towards Yoshi's train. Clunk goes the signal. Thump goes the ball into a car, but neither driver nor fireman heard it.
* Players: Stop!
* George Carlin: Shouted the players but Yoshi didn't hear them.
* Yoshi: Come along, come along.
* George Carlin: He puffed to the Beedrill.
* Players: Our one and only ball!
* George Carlin: They thought sadly.
* Players: Wake up there, Susie.
* George Carlin: They said to their old girl.
* Players: The chase is on.
* George Carlin: Susie coughed crossly and rolled down the road. Yoshi wasn't hurrying. Susie soon came up from behind.
* Susie: Toot toot!
* George Carlin: She scrailed. The players hollered but Yoshi was still too far for his driver and fireman to see or hear properly. They completely misunderstood.
* Driver: If those jokers wanna race.
* George Carlin: Said the driver.
* Driver: They can have on. Faster, Yoshi, faster!
* George Carlin: Poor Susie wasn't very happy at all. She rattled along at twice her usual speed.
* Susie: I shouldn't be treated like this.
* George Carlin: She grumbled.
* Susie: This pace is way too hot for my system. It'll fuse all my circuits.
* George Carlin: Suddenly, Yoshi was nowhere else to be seen.
* Susie: Yahoo! That silly train has run into a hole so we can't catch up with it. I can go home now.
* George Carlin: But it was no use. Her driver pounded Susie on up the steep hill and then the other side towards the big station. Yoshi was already here when Susie cluttered in.
* Players: We need our ball back!
* George Carlin: Replied the players and explained everything. The ball was nestled in some straw and the third car from the van.
* Player: We found it!
* George Carlin: Cried the player.
* Driver: We're very sorry.
* George Carlin: Sighed the driver.
* Player: Ah, you couldn't help it.
* George Carlin: Replied the player.
* Player: Now we must get back quickly.
* Driver: You'll be lucky.
* George Carlin: Said the driver.
* Driver: Susie looks worn out.
* George Carlin: And she was. The driver spoke to the stationmaster and the signalman and they all agreed on the plan. Soon they rolled Susie on to a flatbed and a break van coupled from behind. The players crowded in sight and Yoshi pulled the train back to the basefield. Everybody enjoyed watching the game. Even Susie was impressed. She doesn't think trains are silly now.
* Susie: They have their uses. They can save the wear on a poor car's wheels.

### Ash Meets The Queen

* George Carlin: Terry McGinnis and Ash Ketchum walked hand to hand back home. It had been a busy day. First Ash had teased Terry about the time that the big character had slid into a ditch. Then Ash fell down a mine and Terry came to his rescue.
* Terry: Remember, Ash.
* George Carlin: Called Terry grandly.
* Terry: United we stand, together we fall. You helped me and I'll helped you.
* Ash: I'll remember.
* George Carlin: Replied Ash.
* Ash: But I hope Steven forgives us soon.
* George Carlin: Suddenly, they notice something. As the two characters whistled in their sheds, everywhere they look, they saw paint pots and painters.
* Ash: Bust my buffers!
* George Carlin: Said Ash.
* Ash: What's happening?
* Alex: Shhht!
* George Carlin: Whispered Alex.
* Alex: Steven's going to tell us now.
* Steven: Ladies and gentlemen and characters, I'm an honor to form you that her majesty the Queen herself was coming here to visit us. Now, on with the celebration.
* George Carlin: The characters wondered who would pull the Royal Train.
* Kevin: I'm too old to pull important trains.
* George Carlin: Said Kevin sadly.
* Terry: I'm in disgrace.
* George Carlin: Sighed Terry.
* Raimundo: He'll choose me, of course.
* George Carlin: Boasted Raimundo.
* Shaggy: You?!
* George Carlin: Snorted Shaggy.
* Shaggy: You can't climb hills! He'll ask me to pull the train, and I'll have a new coat of green paint.
* George Carlin: Then the rain came. Shaggy's fireman and driver covered out their cab to keep dry. A painter was on a lantern above the line. Shaggy's smoke went blowing high into the air. The painter couldn't see. Both him and the paint pot fell all over Shaggy. Poor Shaggy!
* Painter: Well, you aren't not a pretty picture.
* George Carlin: Sneered the painter. Steven spoke next.
* Steven: You look like an iced-cake, Shaggy. That's no good for the Royal Train. I must make other arrangements.
* George Carlin: Terry and Ash were waiting on him.
* Terry and Ash: Please, Sir.
* Steven: One at a time.
* George Carlin: Replied Steven.
* Steven: Yes, Terry?
* Terry: May Ash have his Branch Line again?
* Steven: Hmm... I think you both appoligize and deserve a treat. Kevin will go and front to clear the line, Ash will look after the coaches and Terry will pull the train.
* George Carlin: The great day came. All the characters work hard bringing people to the town. Ash sorted out their coaches in the yard. Kevin steamed in.
* Kevin: Peep! The Queen is here!
* George Carlin: Then Terry whistled as he approached the station. Everybody knew that sound. The queen's train glided into the station. Terry was spotless and his brass was shining brightly. Steven stood up to attention.
* Steven: FUCK YOU!!!!
* George Carlin: The queen thanked him for a splendid run and asked to see the other characters.
* Jackie and Alex: Peep peep!
* George Carlin: Whistled Jackie and Alex.
* Shaggy and Raimundo: Shhht!
* George Carlin: Hissed Shaggy and Raimundo. But Jackie and Alex didn't give a fuck.
* Alex: Three cheers for the queen! Peep peep!
* George Carlin: Whistled the characters. When it was time to leave, the queen spoke specialy to Ash for collecting her coaches, then to Kevin, and finally to Terry who took her away. No characters ever felt prouder than those of Steven's Railway.

### Bulls Eyes

* George Carlin: Jackie Chan has a blue shirt and brown pants. They helped to prevent animals from getting killed if they should stray onto the line. Lexi thought Jackie's fenders were silly.
* Lexi: You're afraid of getting killed yourself.
* George Carlin: She flounced.
* Jackie: I'm not.
* George Carlin: Said Jackie huffily.
* Lexi: Yes you are. I don't have dumbass cowcatchers but i'm not frightened. I just toot and they all get out of the way.
* Jackie: But they don't.
* George Carlin: Said Jackie simply.
* Lexi: They would with me. Animals always run if you toot and look them in the eye.
* Jackie: Even bulls?
* Lexi: Even bulls.
* George Carlin: Said Lexi. Lexi had never met a bull before but she purred away quite unconcerned. She tooted at a farm crossing and the horse and cart halted while she passed by.
* Lexi: Huh!
* George Carlin: She said.
* Lexi: It's easy. I just toot and they all stand aside. Poor old Jackie. I'm really sorry he's frightened.
* George Carlin: At the next station, a policeman was waiting.
* Policeman: There's a bull on the line.
* George Carlin: He warned.
* Policeman: Please persuade it to return to the farmer at once.
* George Carlin: Lexi was excited.
* Lexi: Now...
* George Carlin: She thought.
* Daisy: ...I'll show Jackie how to manage bulls.
* George Carlin: Champion isn't really a fierce bull, but this morning he was cross. He'd strayed from his field, crashed through a fence, slithered down a slope and now he didn't know where else he was. All the sudden, he saw some grass.
* Champion: Now for my breakfast.
* George Carlin: He said sternly.
* Lexi: Oooh!
* George Carlin: Tooted Lexi.
* Lexi: Go on.
* George Carlin: Champion was too busy chomping to take any notice.
* Lexi: Ooh!
* George Carlin: Said Lexi again. But Champion kept grazing.
* Lexi: This is all wrong.
* George Carlin: Said Lexi.
* Lexi: How can I look him in the eye if he won't turn around.
* George Carlin: Then suddenly he did.
* Champion: Moo!
* George Carlin: Said Champion.
* Lexi: Oo, oh, uh!
* George Carlin: Murmured Lexi.
* Lexi: Why doesn't he get away?
* Lexi's Driver: Go on, Lexi.
* George Carlin: Said her driver.
* Lexi's Driver: He's harmless.
* Lexi: Yes.
* George Carlin: Said Lexi unhappily.
* Lexi: You know he's harmless and I know he's harmless. But he knows, doesn't he. Look at his horns if I bump into him he might have killed, me uh, them. Uh, the farmer wouldn't like that.
* George Carlin: Champion sniffed at Lexi.
* (Champion starts sniffing)
* Lexi: Ugh!
* George Carlin: Said Lexi and that was that. Lexi didn't do anymore. Jackie was embused and amused to see her back in the station so soon.
* Jackie: Bulls always run if you toot and look them in the eye. Eh, Lexi?
* George Carlin: Lexi remained silent.
* Jackie: Ah, well.
* George Carlin: Continued Jackie.
* Jackie: We can live and learn. I better chase him away for you I suppose.
* George Carlin: And he clanked away. Jackie's bell rang and his whistle sounded but Champion took no notice. Then Jackie whooshed out loud. That did the trick. Jackie whooshed a little bit more and now breakfast over. Champion chauntered away to join the farmer. Lexi was feeling exhausted. She was glad when her day's work was over. Some boys were on the platform.
* Boy: Look, Lexi.
* George Carlin: One teased.
* Boy: I have some sweets. They're called Bulls Eyes. I like them do you.
* Lexi: Ah, keep your own bulls eyes.
* George Carlin: And Lexi scuttled to her shed.

### Special Hat

* George Carlin: It was winter on the land of YTV. Froggo puffed nervously along the line. His hat had never been the same since his accident with some Beedrill. Now the biting wind was trying to blow it away.
* Froggo: My hat feels wobbly.
* George Carlin: He complained.
* Froggo: I wish manager would hurry up with my brand new one. He says it would be something special.
* Characters: You and your special funnel.
* George Carlin: Laughed the other characters. The were fun to Froggo, but his special hat had become quite funny. The winter wind grew worse. The rain came too turning hillside streams out to be torrents which threatened to wash the line away. Casey Matthews worked hard carrying workmen up and down the line. They were removing branches and trees that way water could flow away. But one morning, the driver brought bad news for Casey.
* Casey's Driver: There's been a washout near the tunnel. The bridge had been swept away. We must repait the damage at once.
* George Carlin: The important work took longer than it expected. As days went by, the weather changed. It became frosty and much colder. The workmen finished at last. Froggo was most careful as he took the morning train over the mended piece of track. Soon, he approached the tunnel. It was short and curved so his driver could not see right through it. Froggo was heading for trouble.
* Froggo's Driver: There's something hanging from the roof.
* George Carlin: Shouted his driver. Froggo came out of the tunnel a different looking character. He no longer had his hat left.
* Conductor: Here's what hit you, Froggo.
* George Carlin: Called the conductor and he produced a think frozen icicle. They started again. But without his hat, the journey was very difficult. Then the fireman saw an old drain pipe lying beside the rails.
* Froggo's Fireman: We'll use that one instead of your hat. At least it'll help control the smoke.
* George Carlin: Froggo finished his journey with the drain pipe wired to his boiler. The other characters laughed and Gug sang a song about.
* Gug: Froggo said over and over again, his new hat will put ours to shame, he went through a tunnel and lost his old hat now his famous new hat's a drain.
* George Carlin: The teasing continued until at last the day came when his new hat arrived. Steven proudly presented it.
* Froggo: Oh god, someone squashed it.
* George Carlin: Said Froggo. But Steven laughed.
* Steven: Don't worry, Froggo. This hat is something very special indeed. You'll soon see.
* George Carlin: Froggo's new hat had special pipes which made puffing much easier.
* Froggo: I feel stronger than ever before.
* George Carlin: He hummed. Even Gug was impressed.
* Gug: I can't understand it. Froggo just seems to stroll along the line. He makes work look so easy.
* George Carlin: The characters don't laugh at Froggo's hat from now. They wished they had one like it.

### Four Little Characters

* George Carlin: If you should visit a place that has the Cartoon University and a beautiful cafeteria, then you may also find two little characters called Rikochet and Buster. The characters know everybody and everybody knows that. There are two more characters: Gug and Froggo. They used to be called Froggo and Gug, but they like they're new names the best. One day, Kevin was sent to the works to have his worn parts mended. A big surprise awaited Kevin.
* Kevin: It's Rikochet. What's he doing in here?
* George Carlin: Rikochet was impressed to see Kevin.
* Rikochet: I've been sent here for a rest.
* George Carlin: He sighed.
* Rikochet: I was put in the shed so that I can see everything and not be too lonely. But I do miss Buster. He's going to be mended. I wish I can be mended too, and pull coaches again.
* George Carlin: Suddenly, some workmen arrived.
* Workman: We're going to take you to the works from now. Come along, Kevin.
* Kevin: Goodbye, Rikochet. Your railway's a lovely line.
* Rikochet: Oh, it is, it is! You cheered me up, Kevin. Goodbye.
* George Carlin: Meanwhile, Gug was having trouble with some coaches. He tried to be kind, but the coaches didn't trust him. They were awkward and rude. There was worst to come. Some careless sheep stray on to the line.
* Coaches: He's bumped us!
* George Carlin: Screamed the coaches.
* Coaches: Let's pay him back!
* George Carlin: They judged into Gug and shoved him off the rails. No one was hurt, but Gug limped sadly to the shed.
* Driver: No more work for you, through out the day.
* George Carlin: Said his driver.
* Driver: How are we gonna pull the visitors' train without an engine?
* Rikochet: What about me, sir?
* Driver: Rikochet, can you do this?
* Rikochet: I'll try my best.
* George Carlin: Said the little old wrestler. The coaches were standing at the platform.
* Rikochet: I'm ashamed of you.
* George Carlin: Scolded Rikochet.
* Rikochet: Your passengers might have been killed.
* George Carlin: The coaches quivered.
* Coaches: We're sorry, Rikochet.
* George Carlin: The conductor blew his whistle, and they're journey began. Rikochet remembered all the gates and styles where he had to stop. The sun shone and the rails were dry.
* Rikochet: This is wonderful.
* George Carlin: Sanged Rikochet. Presently, the line grew steep. Rikochet was losing steam.
* Driver: Take your time.
* George Carlin: Soothed his driver.
* Rikochet: It would be better down hill.
* George Carlin: Rikochet told himself. But it wasn't. His springs were weakened, and the rail joints jarred his wheels. Then suddenly, a spring gave weigh.
* Rikochet: I feel all crooked!
* George Carlin: Cried Rikochet.
* Driver: We'll need a bus for our passengers from now.
* George Carlin: Replied his driver.
* Rikochet: No!
* George Carlin: Pleaded Rikochet.
* Rikochet: I'll get them to the station or burst.
* George Carlin: Raimundo was waiting on the platform. Rikochet Clanged and clanked as he steamed in.
* Rikochet: I'll do it, I'll do it. I've done it.
* George Carlin: Raimundo collected his passengers and puffed respectfully away. Everyone was pleased with Rikochet, but he was still worried.
* Rikochet: Old characters can't pull trains like the young ones can.
* Driver: They can if they're mended, old faithful.
* George Carlin: Smiled his driver.
* Driver: And that's whatever would happen to you. You deserved it.

### The YTV Song

* Children: (singing) Picture a land where the sky is so blue. A storybook land of wonder. A magical island just waiting for you. Land of YTV will make your dreams come true. Imagine a place where the sun always smiles. The valleys are green as can be. The friends that you love are all waiting for you. Land of YTV will make your dreams come true. Children follow the dream. To the land of make-believe. The land of YTV. A magical land where dreams come true.
* Girl: Follow the road that leads to a dream over the hills and mountains. Look for the skies with stars in their eyes.
* Children: (singing) Land of YTV will make your dreams come true. Children follow the dream. To the land of make-believe. The land of YTV. A magical land where dreams come true. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. The land of YTV. A magical land where dreams come true.