No Trick-or-Treating! (Lil DeVille version)

It was Halloween night, and everyone at the Wayne household was all dressed up for the occasion.

Barbara Gordon was dressed up like a viking girl. Terry McGinnis was dressed up like Black Panther. Dick Grayson was dressed up like Batfink. Damian Wayne was dressed up like Robin Hood. Sylvester Stallone, Barbara's uncle, was dressed up like Dracula. Marilyn Monroe was dressed up like a fairy. Bruce Wayne was dressed up like a waiter. Phil DeVille was dressed up like Reptar, and Lil DeVille was dressed up like a zombie whose body parts could be served at horrifying restaurants.

"Oh, you guys look great!" Bruce exclaimed.

"So you're a waiter?" Marilyn asked.

"Yes, I am," Bruce said. "Would you like to look at our special tonight?" He lifted the lid, revealing Lil inside the table. Her head was on a plate.

"Boo!" Lil said. It made Barbara, Terry, Dick, and Damian laugh.

"Oh my goodness, it's my favorite dish, Lil DeVille face!" Marilyn exclaimed. She ran up to Lil, grabbed her face, and kissed her on the forehead. "You know what, darling, it's a little chilly out. Would you run upstairs and grab your sweater?"

Lil did as she was told.

"That's my girl!" Bruce said.

"Wow, Marilyn," Sylvester said. "You look great!"

"Oh, why thank you, Sylvester," Marilyn smiled sweetly. "You do, too. And you too, Bruce."

"Really? It's my wedding tux. It still fits." Bruce said.

"Like a paint job." Sylvester said. Then he noticed Barbara dressed up as a viking girl, Terry dressed up as Black Panther, Dick dressed up as Batfink, and Damian dressed up as Robin Hood. "Hey, Damian, my nephew!!" he said. He gave him a high five. "This is your twelfth Halloween!" Then he looked at Barbara, Terry and Dick and asked them, "What is he?"

"Isn't he brave, strong and handsome?" Barbara said.

"He's Robin Hood." Terry said.

”That’s right!” Damian said. “This is my coolest costume that I like. Check it out. I am Robin Hood.”

"Robin Hood?!" Sylvester asked, not believing his niece.

"I mean a hero using bow and arrows to shoot evil guys and give money to poor people." Dick said.

Sylvester faced Damian again. "Oh, good! That's better!" he said. He and Damian gave each other a hug.

As soon as Lil grabbed her orange-and-vermilion-striped sweater, she stopped at the railing, waiting to jump around.

Bruce glared at her. "Don't even think about it, Lil!"

Lil glared back at him. "*Don't even think about it!*" she said in a mocking tone.

"Baby!" Phil said.

"Phil, that's not a nice thing to say to Lil." Marilyn said.

Bruce didn't believe her. "You don't think I mean it?" he asked, "Just try me! I am the head of the household here! I am the boss!"

"*I'm the boss!*" Lil mocked him.

"You're nothing but a baby!" Phil said.

"Phil, stop calling your sister names!" Marilyn scolded lightly.

Barbara, Terry, Dick, Damian, and Sylvester just gasped at Lil's insolence, and Bruce was losing patience.

"You are really getting on my nerves, young lady!" he scolded, "Don't you DARE jump off the step!"

Lil was being willful. "Make me!"

"You're such a baby!" Phil said.

"That's enough now, Phil." Marilyn told him.

Lil jumped off the last three steps.

"ALL RIGHT!" Bruce yelled, "THAT DOES IT, I WARNED YOU! NO TRICK-OR-TREATING!" Barbara, Terry, Dick, Damian, Phil, Marilyn, and Sylvester gasped in shock.

Lil glared angrily at Bruce and yelled, "YOU'RE AS EVIL AS COCO LABOUCHE!" She then stomped off to her room.

"So just Terry, Dick, Damian and I are going?" Barbara asked.

"Yes, sweetie." Marilyn said.

Barbara became so happy. She said, "YAY!" She then ran to her own room with Terry, Dick and Damian following her.

"Bruce, what was that all about?" Marilyn asked.

Bruce shook his head guiltily. "I don't know," he said. "I was so mad it just came out."

"But you saw her." Marilyn said.

"She's totally out of control!" Bruce replied.

"But it's Halloween," Sylvester said. "It's trick-or-treating!" Unfortunately, he didn't realize the doorbell rang.

"Sylvester, I've begged, I've pleaded, I've given her spankings, I've given her time-outs, I've washed her mouth out with soap! None of them worked! I had to do something." Bruce said.

"But you don't take away a religious holiday!" Sylvester said, "Think of Terry, Barbara, Dick, Damian, Zan, Jayna, and the Lost Teenage Titans."