Crossover RP/Formatted KotLC Thread

This is the formatted KotLC thread/the transcript of the thread. [Note that the words inside the brackets are added by me for clarity; otherwise, everything is pretty much copied and pasted over from the thread. I also did make a couple slight tweaks to keep everything in 3rd person past tense. ~Moey]

## Transcript

Apollo winced a little and twisted the ring around his finger as he avoided looking at anyone.

[Merlin:] "Oh, to be in love with someone who does not return the feelings! What an unfortunate tragedy! Romeo and Juliet! Achilles and Patroclus! Gilgamesh and Enkidu! ...Well, that last one actually *did* end without tragedy, but only because Gilgamesh went and snatched Enkidu before then telling them that they were now dating and that they had no choice in the matter."

Hel nodded mock-thoughtfully at what Merlin was saying.

"If, and I'm assuming so, for the reasons I just stated, your Apollo is in love with a version of me, why didn't he marry them?" she [Loki] asked the oddly dressed wizardy fellow.

Merlin dramatically draped himself across a conveniently placed couch, fanning himself with a magically conjured folding fan. “Oh, the feelings! The emotions! Whatever shall ☆Magical Boy of Healing and Justice Wonder Apollo☆ do now?”

He turned his attention to Loki. “Well, you see, they’re engaged and wedding preparations are currently in process. I would know, the Knights of the Round Table keep demanding that I make sure that they’re all invited when the time comes.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. "So . . . did something happen? Is there a reason why he's looking at me like that?"

Apollo wished his sister were there to save his butt. Hel mumbled something under her breath.

“I’m 99% sure that ☆Magical Boy of Healing and Justice Wonder Apollo☆—okay, that’s really beginning to be a mouthful—thinks that his beloved is you. Which you technically are. And are not. Multiverse, anyone?” [Merlin said.]

Apollo fiddled with his ring from his husband-Loki.

"I'm not. Your beloved. Okay?" she [Loki] said slowly to Apollo.

There was a ringing from Merlin’s pocket. The troll mage picked it up, and you couldn’t hear the other side, but it sounded a bit concerning from Merlin’s. ”Eeeeeh? Tristan’s trying to murder Kay again? Well, you know how it goes with Tristan. ‘You damage my harp, I damage you.’ Totally reasonable! And yes, Mordred, I’m getting you an invite to the wedding too, if you promise to not murder your father again.”

"I could tell." Apollo told Loki "You don't have his ring. Neither his general good looks."

"That's incredibly inaccurate. I'm very attractive." She smiled at Apollo.

Hel was partly sympathetic for Apollo, but also not. Apollo scoffed, though it was true since she and his husband were the same person.

Merlin sighed and put down the phone. “Boy bands, am I right? Always at each other’s throats. Where were we again?”

Artemis was sighing in the corner. Hel made a motioning to Artemis along the lines of ‘are you gonna help him [Apollo]?’ Artemis was currently looking for Clay child and Smallgamesh.

[Merlin:] “Hey, hey, hey! What if Apollo pretended this Loki was his Loki? Ta-da! Problem solved! Marriage ensues! Love! Romance! Something engagement something!”

" . . . no." What was *with* these people? "I'm not going to marry-" He [Loki] shot an incredulous glance at Merlin and enunciated the last word "-anybody." He scoffed. "Especially someone I don't know."

Merlin sighed. “I’m boooored! Can we get king of kings Gilgamesh in here?”

Apollo gritted his teeth and stopped himself from summoning his bow and using his special arrows on Loki. *Someone he doesn't know indeed.*

A pop. A definitely-not-child-form Gilgamesh appeared from thin air at Merlin’s command. ”...I do not find this amusing, peasants.”

*Oh my god. Why are there more of the strange people coming here? Where even* is *here?* Loki ran a hand down his face and sighed. *Why.*

Artemis stalked in moments later and demanded, “Why have you kidnapped Smallgamesh?”

Apollo wanted to take off the ring and throw it in the new Loki's face to make a point. But he didn't.

Loki laughed incredulously. "Just. *Stop*. I don't even know where I am, or what-" He thought a moment. "Not that where I *was* was much better, but still."

Gilgamesh haven Artemis a dark, brooding look. “One time. I chose willingly to go into my younger form *one one* to assist you, and you now insist on calling me that?”

“You are small,” Artemis insisted stubbornly. “And I do not respond well to change. You shall remain Smallgamesh.”

Apollo made his lyre appear and vanish repeatedly.

Merlin laughed. “Smallgamesh. Priceless.”

Gilgamesh scowled. “If only Enkidu were here...Tch.”

"I- can I leave? The room? And go . . . elsewhere? To possibly find some saner people?" [said Loki.]

“The clay child cannot be far behind,” Artemis said dismissively, finally glancing around the room. “Oh, hello, Brother. Mage. Loki?”

“This one’s budget dollar store Loki,” Merlin said to Artemis wisely. “Our Loki was cooler.”

He frowned. "I disagree."

Apollo went to stand next to his sister.

“Ah. What happened to our Loki?”

Conveniently, Enkidu popped into the room, holding a very sharp kitchen knife that happened to be covered in something red. They waved politely to everyone.

"I'm going to go now," Loki decided, and left the room, winking at Apollo on his way out. Oh, look, he was in another room! It was red. It had no furniture. Fun. He left that room too.

Merlin only looked a tiny bit concerned. “What were you and Gilgamesh doing before this?”

“Nothing you mongrels need to concern yourselves with,” Gilgamesh interrupted. “Now where did that other Loki go off to? I do not respond kindly to those who attempt to ignore a king such as my—“

Enkidu gave Gilgamesh a somewhat ominous smile. “Gil...”

”...Where did that other Loki go?” Gilgamesh muttered.

Loki tried to teleport away but failed. WHAT?! ON TOP OF EVERYTHING WERE HIS POWERS FAILING HIM TOO? He yelled out in frustration.

Apollo looked at Loki as he left. When Loki winked at him, he blinked a bit faster than he should have been.

Artemis turned to Apollo as asked, “Do I need to shoot someone?”

Loki stormed into the room. "How do I get back to Midgard?" he demanded. "This is most *certainly* not it."

"Not right now, but maybe in a bit." [replying to Artemis] Apollo looked at where Loki had come back in for another beat before looking at his sister.

“Alright,” She nodded satisfiedly.

"Sorry, Loki. This is Midgard, welcome." Apollo spread his arms and told Loki sarcasticallly.

He sighed softly. "Then WHY IS MY SORCERY NOT WORKING?"

Apollo looked at Artemis for an explaination.

Artemis shrugged, “How should I know?”

Apollo sighed "You're just not used to being in Midgard, as you call it?" He shrugged.

"Of course I'm used to it! Kind of. What I'm not used to is having my magic gone. Especially here."

Apollo shrugged again. "Maybe because you're not from here? I don't know."

He smiled, hands on his hips. "I see. This is an alternate dimension of Midgard, isn't it?"

"It's not an alternate dimension, it's the real dimension." Apollo looked at Loki, ignoring the similarities between his husband and that Loki.

"There is no *real* dimension," he said cautiously. "They're all . . . real."

Apollo waited for an explanation. He wondered if Merlin the Sink Mage knew about this already.

Merlin yawned. “The multiverse’s existence makes you think reeeeaaally philosophical things. I’d say not to linger on it too long. I mean, if we in this dimension were summoned across time and space to fight against a threat—which has been taken care of—, it’s not too farfetched to assume the multiverse’s many universes are all the ‘original’ or the ‘real’ one.”

Apollo blinked when Merlin explained. *That actually... Makes a little bit of sense.* He seemed surprised.

He made a gesture at Merlin with one hand, keeping the other on his hip. "See?"

Gilgamesh sighed. “As much as I hate to agree with a pest like Merlin, the mage is right.”

”The same force that summoned us here could also be what summoned Budget Loki from wherever they came from,” Enkidu added.

Apollo seemed to realize something. "Does that mean that there are a bunch of different versions of my sister? Having just this one is bad enough." He pointed with his thumb at Artemis.

"Budget Loki!" he exclaimed, scandalized. "I refuse to be referred to as *Budget Loki!*"

“Most likely. Although I doubt all of them will be like yours,” Merlin said, shrugging.

“Well, to us, you’re not *our* Loki, so it seems fair enough to call you Budget Loki. You’re like his temporary replacement,” Enkidu said innocently, mirth sparkling in their eyes. “Replacement...do you think that Loki and Budget Loki could have swapped places?”

Apollo made a face.

He [Loki] made a disgusted face. "I am a *god!* I will not be treated as such!"

“We have tons of gods. You’re not special, Budget Loki,” Merlin laughed.

Apollo grinned at Merlin's words. "Almost everyone here is a deity."

That threw him a bit but he recovered. "I don't care, I'm not a budget version of myself!"

“Then would you prefer to be called Loki while we call our Loki ‘The Better Loki’? I’ll admit that he was more tolerable than you,” Gilgamesh offered.

Apollo twisted the ring on his finger. "And I'm not the sun," He remarked.

Loki ran a hand through his hair. "I don't care what you call the other Loki," he hissed. "Just call me by *my name*? [And] who said you were?" he said to Apollo.

“You’re definitely a budget Loki,” Artemis mused, finally recovering from the idea that she might have multiple twins. It would not end well, to say the least.

He closed his eyes, took a deep, shuddering breath. "Fine. *Fine*. Call me whatever the Hel you want. Just. Help me get back to my own world."

"Everyone. I am the god of the sun, I drive the sun chariot." Apollo smirked at budget Loki.

[Merlin:] “See, here’s the thing-we have no idea how to do that! Haha, shocking, right?”

"Is that supposed to be clever," he [Loki] responded to Apollo, deadpan.

"Great. Just great." He [Loki] turned around slowly, and then with far more speed slammed both his hands into the wall. "[REDACTED]!"

Enkidu has a thoughtful expression on their face. “We could try going around Rewan and see if anyone else has any ideas.”

Apollo winced [and sighed] with sympathy when Loki slammed his hands into the wall.

He [Loki] turned around to face Apollo, anger radiating from his eyes. "What is it! Want to mock me a bit, hmm? Compare me some more to your *fiancé*?"

Apollo ignored his words and walked over. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"I think you'll find I'm far more durable than that."

"You're not hitting the wall again on my watch. I don't care how durable you think you are." Apollo rolled his eyes.

Kate appeared. "Loki-- and company. Uh, hey."

Apollo glanced back at Kate. "Hello."

"Who are you?" she asked, twirling an arrow from her quiver between her fingertips.

"Apollo. God of a whole bunch of things that I don't feel like listing. Who are you?" Apollo's eye went to the arrow.

"Kate Bishop. Hawkeye. One of the best marksmen and archers in the world. Former Young Avenger, current PI, and babysitter of gods."

"Well, you have met the right person, Kate Bishop. I just happen to be the god of archery." Apollo gave a mocking bow.

Kate raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Sure."

Apollo looked her over "Feel free to bow. Any minute now."

"I'm good," Kate said.

"Okay, then. Gods just really don't get the respect they used to." Apollo muttered the last part as he studied the arrow in her hand critically.

Artemis gave Kate a critical look. “How old are you, mortal?”

"[her canonical age is super unclear but it's around 24]," Kate said, still spinning her arrow and ignoring Apollo.

Apollo wanted to see how she made those arrows. He shook his head at himself and busied himself with summoning a first aid kit and reorganizing.

Artemis looked unimpressed. “Really.”

Kate, equally unimpressed, put the arrow back in the quiver.

“Well, we shall have to test that claim sometime,” Artemis said simply.

"That I'm [age]?" Kate asked.

”Where are all of these people even coming from?” Enkidu wondered aloud.

"Reality warper gay friend," Kate said, shrugging. "He comes in handy."

Apollo looked up at Enkidu "Your guess is good as mine." He then went back to reorganizing, ignoring what Kate said. Because it made no sense to him.

Merlin paused. “Okay, so if Enkidu’s dating Gilgamesh, and Apollo’s dating The Better Loki, and Budget Loki is Budget Loki, who’s the token straight person in here? I know it’s not me.”

"I think it's me, then," Kate said. "Probably."

“Definitely her,” Artemis shrugged, gesturing to Kate.

Apollo causally summoned his lyre and began to play with one hand over the strings so no sound was made.

“If this were a story, the plot continuity would be rather messed up,” Gilgamesh noted.

"Hush, Smallgamesh. Your opinion is no longer relevant."

”Y’know… I don’t think this is our universe either. I can’t feel Helheim— well, not my Helheim. I think somebody brought us here,” Hel said, stepping out of the shadows.

Thor suddenly appeared. “Woahhh, my stomach did not like *that*.” He frowned. “What’re you lot doing here?” This Thor, was, of course, from the OGHO universe. “And who’re…” Thor titled his head, pointing at Loki. “You?”

Hel sighed. “…you too, uncle?”

Clint appeared out of nowhere. He looked around. "Okay-this looks really bad."

A velociraptor suddenly appeared. It let out a shrill noise and ran past everybody into a different room.

Loom shook her head. "Well... you guys wanted this stuff, and it's not like I can undo it,"

"At the very minimum, *someone* did," Loom added when all she was met with was silence.

Another screech filled the room as the velociraptor ran back, realizing there was no exit. It was passive… for now.

*"What the [redacted] is going on here?*" Clint stared at the dinosaur.

"Somebody [REDACTED] *do* something, already!" Loom was getting agitated the longer she watched her velociraptor run around. "Literally half of you are gods and the other half are walking legends. Surely one of you can handle this."

The dinosaur looked just as confused as everybody else did.

“It’s not quite that simple.” Hel narrowed her eyes. “And who might you be?”

"Look. People. I can create things from nothing because I have some fancy power to manipulate the fabric of the multiverse. But I can only create things that other people want, and I can't destroy them. End of story, stop being confused and deal with the dinosaur already."

*"Don't ask me to do something. I'm just a useless guy with a bow and arrow. And who [redacted] are you?"* Clint asked.

The velociraptor let out a screech that probably meant she didn’t want to be ‘dealed with’.

"Are you guys all deaf or something?" [Loom said.]

“That seems useless,” Thor said. “What is useful, though is that I—“ Thor looked around, panicked. “Where’s my hammer? Has anybody seen Mjölnir??”

If Loom could control her powers, she would have created a bag of chips to crunch on while Thor freaked out over a lost rock. Hel looked rather amused, mostly because she’d already seen Thor set down Mjölnir on the floor when he’d entered the room. The velociraptor let out a noise that sounded the equivalent of a laugh.

[Loom:] "Come on, Velo, don't laugh. It's rude."

Clint smirked, not bothering to tell Thor where his hammer was.

Thor stared straight at the Velociraptor. “When I find my hammer—“

Just as he was saying that, he found his hammer on the ground where he’d been originally standing. “Oh! I found it, guys. It was right here!” He let out a chuckle.

"And you are blind, too," Loom muttered.

The velociraptor walked right up to the Loom and screeched. It seemed to not like being told what to do— either that or it didn’t like being called Velo. One of the two.

"Your name is Velo, whether you like it or not," [Loom said.]

Apollo rubbed his eyes "Stars and moons, how did so many more people get in here?"

The velociraptor pointed a claw at the blue stripe running down it’s back.

“Don’t forget the genetically created dinosaur in the room,” Hel added onto Apollo’s question.

The velociraptor gave Hel a quick glare.

Hel snorted. “Oh, it’s no surprise. I could tell that humans created you. I’ve seen the real thing.”

"People, I've been sitting here this entire time while you all bicker over whether Loki's name is "Budget Loki" or not." [Loom said.]

[Hel:] “Hmm. Impressive. Even *I* can’t hide in the shadows for that long, unless I really try. It’s really too tempting to speak up.”

Apollo was going to get a godly headache at this rate.

"Then maybe you should learn a bit more discipline,"

Thor was busy fussing over his hammer.

“*I* need to learn discipline? Do you even know who I am?” Hel looked furious, and the dead-looking half of her body was releasing a black smoke.

"Yes, I know who you are. You're Hel, goddess of death. And heck yes, you need to learn some discipline, especially if you can't help but talk when you're supposed to be stealthy."

Apollo sighed and started to tune his lyre, getting ready to play fight music.

“You forgot a few things,” Hel said coldly.

"So what? All you're known for in modern culture is the death side of things. And that's only because of Thor over there,"

Kate sighed. **[Clint], language.** "Loki-- my Earth's Loki, not the kid or the apparently literal fiance of Apollo-- why are we here?"

Apollo definitely was getting a headache.

*Where the [heck] are we?* Clint signed.

**No clue,** Kate signed back. **But they all think they're gods.**

Apollo looked around the room "Are you all done arguing yet? Or should I start the fight music?"

Merlin was still sprawled over the only couch in the room, like the troll wizard he was. “Eeeeh? And I thought Budget Loki appearing here was bad enough, now there’s even more of you? What’s up with that, multiverse?”

"I don't know," Loom tried to answer Merlin's question. "Though I can tell you that the multiverse won't answer. Trust me, I've tried it before,"

Apollo put away his lyre. *At this point, I'm not even going to ask.* Apollo looked at the various new comers "Who are you people?"

Artemis…well, she was about this close to a mid-immortal-life breakdown.

The velociraptor looked very bored.

*What's with you?* Clint signed to the dinosaur.

**That's a dinosaur,** Kate signed to him. **It can't understand you.**

The velociraptor gave him a wary look and screeched in confusion. Apparently, it didn’t know sign language.

Clint shrugged. *It should learn sign language. How am I supposed to communicate with it otherwise?*

Loki looked up from her trying-to-get-her-sorcery-to-work experiments and noticed that there were about six new people in the room. And a dinosaur. *Whatthefrick.*

OGHO Thor was currently staring at the other Thor confusedly.

**No idea,** Kate replied. "Loki, are you creating trouble?"

Since the velociraptor seemed to have an understanding of spoken language, and it also had hands, it was probably somewhat likely it could learn sign language.

Loki ignored Kate, having no idea who she was. Then she saw Thor. Or, to be more accurate, Thors. "Okay. That's it. I'm officially done with this universe."

Hel sighed. “That’s be great, if we could figure out what universe this even *is.*”

*Who was here first? That's the person who's universe we are in.* Clint replied to Hel even though he had zero magic knowledge.

Hel shrugged. “I appeared a bit later. I have no idea.”

The velociraptor pointed a claw at Loki, guessing what the question had been. How she knew, nobody had any idea, seeing that she had basically been the most recent arrival.

"Why is the dinosaur pointing at me?" [Loki said.]

“…were you here first?” Hel asked Loki.

"I assume so. I found myself here a while ago, and when I noticed that there was a Loki impersonator, I . . . made myself known. You all appeared significantly afterwards."

Hel nodded. “So you were the first one of… *us* here? If you’re not the person who gathered us here—“

She laughed shortly. "I did not bring you here."

“I assumed that much.”

*I thought we were talking about what universe we are in. [Clint signed.]*

**Who even knows?** Kate signed.

OGHO Thor was continuing to look at his other self. Clint was wishing he could just get back home. Magic confused him too much.

Loki ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "Does *anyone* know what is going on? *Anyone*. I'd even be fine with the dinosaur."

The dinosaur seemed offended and hung it’s head. Hel shrugged. OGHO Thor was still too busy looking at his other self to respond.

"My money's on multiverse \*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*," Kate said [Loki]. "It'd explain why you're dressed like a Harley-Davidson spokesperson at a Renaissance Fair."

The dinosaur made a laughing noise. Loki made a noise of protestation but didn't argue.

OGHO Artemis blinked at her, “That made no sense.”

Gilgamesh crossed his arms. “Do any of you inferior beings even happen to have an idea of where we currently are?”

"Inferior beings?" Kate asked Gilgamesh. "Sorry, who are you?"

The velociraptor shook her head, accepting that she was inferior.

"We've already established that none of us know!" She [Loki] exhaled in a long sigh. "And again, may I remind you that I am not inferior to you!"

“Tch. I am Gilgamesh, king of kings, ruler of—“

Enkidu hit him over the head before smiling pleasantly at the others. “This is Gil. He has a superiority complex.”

The velociraptor nodded agreeably. *Don't we all*, Loki thought to herself.

"I see," Kate said to Enkidu. "I'm Kate Bishop, master of weapons, babysitter of gods."

“Ah. The closest thing we have to a babysitter of gods is Arash, and even then, he has a horrible temper and specifically likes threatening to shoot an arrow where the sun doesn’t shine at Arjuna and Karna when they cause traffic jams with their fights,” Enkidu replied.

"Babysitter of *which* gods, exactly?" [Loki said.]

Kate smiled. "Sounds like we'd get along." To MCU Loki, she added, "Mostly you and your half-sister."

She raised an eyebrow "I've never met you in my life."

"Not *you* you. My Earth's you."

“Multiverse things! That’s probably not *your* Loki,” Merlin commenter cheerily.

*Can we get back to **why** all of us are here?* Clint was desperate to get out of here.

“Who knows,” Hel said, sighing.

The velociraptor shrugged.

**Nobody knows,** Kate told him. **Deep breaths.**

Clint tried to calm himself. *Then let's figure that out instead of fight over who's superior.*