Kek Unification Conflict

### Background

The Kek Unification Conflict was a series of Invasions, Liberations, and Annexations of various city states that were present within the boundaries of the Kekstantinople Republic. These were often began with trade embargoes or major accusations that would lead to either invasion or a peaceful annexation of these rouge territories, which would ultimately allow for the Republic to tie up the last loose ends that came from the Kollapse.

### Crul & Danobruck

The first cities that were targeted naturally were the most poor and dependant of the states, these being the coaltion of Crul and Danobruck. These twin cities main economy was the salt trade, wherein they would mine the salt flats around their jurisdiction and then sell them to foreign traders to survive, they also had a heavy dependence on Food and Water Barons who had made a monopoly on selling these desperate people their bare essentials for a tidy profit. When the Republic offered terms of annexation, the duel city states refused outright, leading to a military-enforced trade embargo on the small territory. Within a span of just 2 days, the city once more contacted the central government, informing them that they would accept unconditional annexation due to them completely running out of water, with this the Kek military moved into the twin cities and incorporated them into the Republic. However the Barons retreated to the hills, having goons attack the army with shitty crossbows that fired office pens as ammunition, this resulted in Military Police easily overwhelming the goons and then arresting the Barons, who claimed they had done nothing wrong. Since monopolisation was illegal under Kekstantinople law, these men were charged and sent to prison.

### Seary

The township of Seary was a somewhat unique case, wherein they held multiple exclaves outside their main territory, one of which bordered the 4Chan Reich. This allowed the territory to do frequent trade with the 4Channers, wherein they sold cheap knockoff consumer products to their seemingly naive neighbour, this also allowed them to buy smuggled water and food from the Republic, as despite them having some small farms, they couldn’t sustain their population with local crops. When the Kek government presented previously similar terms of annexation to the city state, they (in a moment of Deja Vu) outright rejected the terms, which once more resulted in the Kek military enforcing a complete trade embargo of the small state. Similarly to Crul, the state soon began to starve from their lack of food, but unlike their salty brethren, the mayor of Seary, who was noted for being somewhat batshit insane, told the townsfolk to simply skewer the insects such as caterpillars, mites, locusts, grasshoppers, etc as a such of nutrition. Only a couple of days later, the Kek military was told to move in when no radio communication was received from the large town. Once they moved in they found the entire town was dying of diseases such as dysentery and as a result had been reduced to complete wrecks, as a result the army medics had to intervene to help save the townsfolk, giving them antibiotics and actual fucking food to help them recover, As the town was secured, the mayor (who was covered in his own shit and vomit) crawled out of his town hall with a PPSH and began to wildly fire his weapon in random directions, he was promptly shot in the torso and was apprehended, though not before a soldier took a bullet to the shoulder. There was also a formation of 3 goat riders who tried to attack the troops but were swiftly apprehended when the goats ran away when a flash bang was thrown. The enclaves would fall without any resistance.

### St Jeff

St Jeff was a small city that was situated only 20km from the capital of Kekstantinople, which was led by a person who called himself “Senator Strongarm”. This man was generally considered to be something of a psycho, who was only interested in making boat loads of money and also his own brand of Sumo wrestling, wherein people got to use baseball bats during their matches. This city state also had the largest population of all the city states, with a population of roughly 60,000 total, of which it was estimated that roughly 40% of people would prefer to rejoin the Republic, but any protests that these people made were met with brutal crackdowns and often many deaths. The main industries of the state were the following: 1. The fishing industry of the state was a commonly practiced trade in the territory, with citizens often illegally fishing in Kek territorial waters, much to the dismay of the central government, it was noted that the processing of fish was awful, leading to such instances where a high school class of 30 got food poisoning from a rotten batch of fish that wasn’t processed properly. 2. The oil industry was a surprisingly lucrative trade for the state, which owned 2 abandoned oil rigs that were restarted and began to drill, process, and sell oil illegally to the black market, making up 65% of their exports and allowing Mr Strongarm to become wealthy as hell. 3. The Manufacturing sector of the state was a seemingly big industry, making poorly assembled products for export. These were often things such as furniture, appliances, and construction materials which were extremely cheap but also very easy to be broken. The rule of the state came to an end when without warning the Kek government embargoed the state and also naval blockaded the city port, causing some of the fishing fleet to be stranded outside the city state, resulting in said fleet to charge the blockade, which ended poorly, with a few ships sunk from defensive gunfire from the naval ships after a fisherman started shooting the ships. In retaliation, Mr Strongarm declared that the Ashtron Empire backed them and was going to send 5 million troops to the beleaguered city in 3 days, the Kek government got the Ashtronian Foreign office to state that this wasn’t true at all, but nevertheless 3 days later Mr Strongarm was broadcasted standing next to a decrepit oil tanker in the St Jeff port claiming 5 million Ashtronian troops were there, which was quickly followed by the Kek media labelling him as delusional. As a result of this, and compounded by leaks regarding the school children being poisoned infuriated Mr Strongarm, who declared war on the Republic. Since this was a defensive action, the Republic sent a mechanised Infantry Division to invade the state, with only 3,000 militia facing them, who quickly retreated into disarray as they hadn’t fought anyone except unarmed protestors prior to this. But suddenly the advance was halted by a massive Spider Mech that arose from the office of Mr Strongarm, who was controlling the quadrupedal abomination, the mech was bristling with various weapons ranging from missiles to machine guns to cannons and even laser weapons. The machine ruthlessly advanced, destroying buildings and even crossing into Kek territory and towards the Capital, as a result the mech was pounded by tank shells and air strikes, but was finally disabled when commandos planted Ashtronian bombs onto the legs of the machine, destroying the legs and hence its mobility. During this time a laser shot at the naval blockade, which damaged one of the ships, but this laser was quickly destroyed by an air strike, the ship was towed in for repairs at the Capital. Meanwhile for the next 3 days attempts were made to break into the machine, when it finally was they found Mr Strongarm with a bunch of hookers. He jumped out of the broken mech and broke a few soldiers arms with his revealed cybernetic implants, but was then was immobilised by being hit by 30mm auto cannon shells, being knocked out. Afterwards, his mech iCal arms were ripped off him and he was put in prison, along with sustaining brain damage and becoming partially a sped.

### Keeno

The city of Keeno was a seemingly unassuming place, from the outside it seemed that the city was mostly a trade post, with farmers and traders often hiring outsiders to ship their cargo to the outside world, as a result it was thought that it would be easy to secure a peaceful annexation of the territory. When the meeting was held the diplomat from the city insisted he get the random wild goat that was next to him in the negotiation tent, when the negotiators confusingly agreed, the Persian jumped out of his chair and pulled a gun, only to promptly be shot by security troops. However outside the army saw a force of goat mounted Persians chargin down a hillside towards their position, along with what was seen to be a Persian holding a Mini Nuke launcher, but before it could be fired he was shot dead, setting off the mini nuke as it dropped to the ground and blasted the local area (including the city) with radiation. A few days later the army, donning hazmat suits, moved into the city to evacuate anyone who had contracted radiation sickness, along with declaring martial law and forcing all other residents to leave. Upon investigation it was found a old mini nuke bunker was underneath the city, but this revelation was disregarded as a situation developed at the city marketplace. A man who had about 30 mini nukes had taken a school teacher hostage and demanded his apartment was given complete sovereignty, negotiations stalemated and it was ultimately decided to leave the city temporarily. The man, who thought he had won, went around the next couple days with his teacher hostage continuing his days like nothing was wrong despite the entire city being deserted. On Friday of that week when he went to pray at the local mosque, he threw the teacher in a closet as she was a women, and was then rescued by commandos, who evacuated her out of city. Now alone, the man continued to wonder the streets, until finally a bomb was dropped on him, killing his and detonating his 30 mini nukes, but this massive explosion unintentionally ruptured the bunker beneath the city, setting off thousands of mini nukes, with a roughly 25 Megaton explosion occurring. The city was completely annihilated, becoming a crater, meanwhile the fallout sailed south, blanketing the State of Persia with a majority of the radiation that resulted from the explosion, when questioned the Kek government claimed it came from Drakslavia, and that the explosion was apart of the military excercise.

### New Keno, Konosis, & Bokta

The final 3 states that were left to deal with was the Gambling City of New Keno, the Water Monopolies of Konosis, and the Port of Bokta. The one thing that United these disperate cities together was that they were all under the control of the Kek Mafia, a variety of highly profitable and organised crime groups that made a massive amount of money from their actives, which were often coordinated from the relative safety of these exclaves, often making them their headquarters. The most well known of the trio was the city of New Keno, which had an exceptionally large amount of casinos within it, all of which were owned by the various mobs, who often ran protection rackets and solicited bribes from those who tried to stop them as trying to go against the mob would almost always result in said person being found riddled with bullet holes. This city also had an extensive red light district, wherein all kinds of escorts could be acquired, along with copious amounts of dubious substances of all varieties, the most well known open secret of these services is that they often employed minors against their will to be made to be the slaves of the people who desired their services. The other well known city was Bokta, famed for is extensive smuggling operations, often contributing heavily to child slave trade and moving other black market items around the world. These 3 cities were subject to a surprise attack by the Kekstantinople Army in the early hours in December 2079, with the mafia quickly mobilising to try and fight off the invaders, but were soon overwhelmed by the well disciplined and superior armament of the military, all 3 cities being effectively seized within 24 hours, though armed resistance in all the cities remained for another week, as ambushes and escape attempts were made. Many criminals were seized by these assaults, including the major mob bosses and most of the Lieutenants of the most wanted mafias, severely crippling their leadership and operations for the foreseeable future. Controversially, the leader of the United Kek Party (UKP), Clive Pamersean, was found having relations with one of the escorts that were not of age within New Keno, and as a result was arrested and was given a harsh sentence, along with other major leaders of the UKP being found in neighbouring hotel rooms doing similar acts caused great public outrage. This was compounded by the head office of the party being raided and was found to contain a sex dungeon with similar minors inside, such massive public outrage, the party was forced to disband and its members scattered.

### Krono City

The final city state was Krono City, a small city state whose main industry was stone mining, along with a strong clockwork industry that was cemented in the cities local culture. The city was also dominantly Persian, mainly conducting trad e with the Persian State and the Free Libertarian States to their east, and not overly reliant on the Republic for any major goods such as food and water. Since the city was bordering another nation and was doing well economically, it was decided that it wasn’t worth invading this city state, hence it was decided to abandon plans for invasion, allowing the micro state to continue on with their existence, a rare occurrence to have happen in the Post-Kollapse world.