Colleen McTarren

**Colleen McTarren** is played by hellofditties

## Early Life

*Well they took me in and shod my feet and taught me prayers for chastity,*

*And said my name would be Colleen,*

*And I was blessed among all women to have forgotten everything.*

Colleen McTarren (formerly Colleen Sinclair) will tell you as she best knows how, because that's the way it was told to her: she was found washed up ashore in 1897 on the beach of a small seaside town, with no knowledge of her name or her past. She was raised in the Convent of the Locked Tomb by the nuns who took her in and guessed her age to be around 14 years old. They named her Colleen, which means "girl", and Sinclair, "pure, renowned, illustrious"--but also a play on 'sin' due to the sisters' assumption about young Colleen's past.

Over the ensuing four years Colleen tried to make herself useful; there was plenty of hard work in the Convent which she realised she did not have a taste for but persevered regardless due to a sense of duty and gratitude. Young Colleen was grateful to the sisters for feeding and clothing her and giving her a name and a purpose. They taught her many important life lessons and shaped her like a proper young lady, often reminding her how lucky she was to have forgotten her past as she must have been a truly terrible child to be thrown overboard, and men are wicked, and the larger Commonwealth is an evil place so she must take her vows and never leave. She was consequently a model pupil, and devout follower of the Lord, waiting for her vocation - the call from God to don the habit and join the other sisters as a bride of Christ.

At the convent school, everything the girls did was heavily controlled, from the restriction of any books with 'romance' in (which, years later, Colleen only now admits to having read), to the way the girls were expected to fold their clothes. The nuns were strict but instilled in Colleen a sense of strong morality and unquestioning obedience - traits that were not shared by Colleen's childhood friend, Esme Abernathy. Esme was a slightly older girl - also an orphan - and where Colleen was sweet and mild, Esme was rebellious and wild. The two made a strange pair but Colleen worshipped the girl--that is until Esme could stand the Convent no longer and made her escape to make a real life for herself in the larger Commonwealth.

Shortly after Esme's departure, there was a terrible fire which burned the Convent of the Locked Tomb to the ground. Colleen sustained serious burns to the face and was the only survivor.

## Arrival in the Commonwealth

*I dream some nights of a funny sea, as soft as a newly born baby.*

*It cries for me pitifully and I dive for my child with a wildness in me,*

*And am so sweetly there received.*

Colleen arrived in the Commonwealth on 30th of January, 1902 and reunited with Esme shortly after, whom she discovered was not doing so well as her letters had implied. Colleen's initial refusal to turn to crime, kill anything or get her hands dirty with hard labour meant she spent a large portion of her first week walking around with 3 cents to her name, relying on the charity of others. She was excited to see the world after having such a sheltered upbringing and fell in love with the big city lights of Saint Denis immediately.

Her first visit to Saint Denis was eventful: she met Koda Heart, a Cherokee man she would go on to date for two months, both girls were shot several times in a random attack, and Esme was arrested for shooting a lawman. Colleen eventually settled in Rhodes where she made many friends, some of whom are still in her life. She became especially close with Sheila McTarren with whom she would eventually develop a familial relationship, seeing her as a mother figure.

As the weeks and months ensued, however, Colleen's delight at this new world and bright optimism would slowly fade as she began to feel everyone around her was corrupted and Godless. Several events worked to chip away at her innocent outlook on life: Adam Luca killed Esme's boyfriend in a duel, and would later fake his own death; Esme left the Commonwealth; friends Maisy Mintz and Isaiah Daiquiri were kidnapped and tortured, and missing for several days. During this time Koda was the only person Colleen truly confided in about her feelings but he would eventually break her heart too. During this time Colleen also got a job at Kamassa Ranch but left after two weeks due to Adam Luca's sudden reveal that he was in fact still alive, as he was a very close friend of management.

Colleen's relationship with Koda Heart ended in March 1902 which began what she refers to as her 'harlot era'. She has had over 10 first dates since, but has never managed to find love again.

In order to prove to her mamas that she was responsible enough to own a puppy, Colleen--completely unprompted--took it upon herself to look after an egg called 'Puberty' for a full day. The egg did not survive, but Colleen bought Sadie the Australian Shepherd anyway on 9th April 1902 because she's a grown woman and she can make her own decisions. She was legally adopted by Sheila McTarren on 17th April 1902, a date she now refers to as her birthday. This event was preceded by a great amount of stress as Colleen began to remember through dreams pieces of who she may have been before she was washed ashore all those years ago and worried her found family would no longer want her. However, she continued to squash those dreams down and repress those memories so everything was fine. It's fine.

Sheila and Colleen bought the Southfield Flats house in May 1902, splitting the cost in half and putting both women into severe debt. This forced Colleen to spend several weeks working harder than she had ever worked in her life in order to pay off her share of the loan. The little shack now houses four women, somehow. In June the family was visited by some people from Sheila's mysterious past; Colleen seemed to overreact by becoming completely agoraphobic, locking herself in the house for an entire month and taking no visitors. The truth is that she is terrified some people will come from her own past: the time before the Commonwealth and even the convent.

In late July/early August 1902 Colleen was stalked by a man claiming to be her secret admirer whom she now believes was the angry and violent ghost of the Emerald Ranch Saloon. With the man's death, the 'haunting' of the Saloon ended, but preceding events led to Colleen's eventual epiphany: *"Maybe I don't want a bad boy, Hazel. Maybe I want to* be *the bad boy."* Colleen made the decision to finally try crime in the Commonwealth, wanting to "get there first" because *"I don't need a man to corrupt me. I can do it myself."*

Colleen committed a handful of petty crimes with moderate success before deciding it was time to begin a Redemption Arc. She began to try to get back to her pious roots, giving away her illegal belongings in 'charitable' acts and apologising to some of the people she felt she had wronged during her time as a decrepit ne'erdowell. She turned down invitations to various robberies and no longer stole horses in her mission to make amends--going to far as to even quit smoking tobacco--but these were largely halfhearted gestures. It took a divine revelation in which she was transported to literal hell before Colleen was finally shaken enough to believe in returning to the path of righteousness, and within an hour of this vision she turned over her remaining contraband to the Marshalls.

## Catchphrases

* "I traded my Virginity for Belladonna."
* "That's decrepit."
* "I wet the bed until I was twenty years old!"
* "He got *shawt dead!*"
* "I'm Catholic."