Riptide Episode 45: The Perfect Crime

> "The party plans the greatest heist in history in order to kill the king and steal all of his money. Fortunately, things don't go as planned... Chip flies by the seat of his pants. Jay starts talking to rocks. Gillion births a horse." -*Episode 45 Official Description*
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## Summary

The party plans and stages the heist to break into the king's palace. Chip and Ollie successfully sneak into the treasure room, while Jay and Gillion meet the king, finding that he's a young boy who's never seen the outside world. Gillion has a philosophical discussion with him. In a moment away from the king, Abdul the frogtopus racer pulls a gun on the boy, as the final measure of security is alerted to the danger.

## Episode Events

The episode opens as the party has reached the upside down Crown District of Edison Kingdom. They all jump and throw things in the air trying to figure out how the reversed gravity works . Abdul, the frogtopus racer Gil brought, explains that the trains make people have opposite gravity. He also explains they have commoner clothes and will look suspicious. Chip and Jay make the plan that Gil is the undersea king, and they’re his escorts.

They buy royal undersea clothes for a king and his attendants. Most people believe that Gil is king. The next day, they plan their heist. Gil and Abdul fraternize with the guards. He finds out that a lot of guards are warforged, and there’s a charging station in the palace. They also have security cameras on the second floor. There’s an extreme measure of security that comes into play only when the king is in danger that’s not mentioned. Jay tours the first and second floor of the castle. She finds out that the third floor is the king’s quarters, and the king’s council meets up every day, but the king hasn’t been attending recently because he’s sick. There’s only one way to get upstairs. Chip plans a route out of the castle and to the train.

The next day they strike a match and begin their planning session. Gillion points out he can make a horse, and he and Ollie really want the horse to be part of the plan. Ollie suggests lots of good ideas, which makes Chip proud of him. He’s hesitant to sneak past security with Chip, but Chip reassures him that it’ll be fine. Abdul thinks that the king being sick is the perfect time to kill him, as no one would notice him being gone. They all tell him to take it down a couple notches, but he’s adamant, urgently reminding them that if they don’t kill the king tonight, the Blossom Boss will kill them.

They decide that Gillion will arrange a meeting with the king (speaking Primordial so he doesn’t have to lie) and Jay will be his translator. Meanwhile Chip and Ollie will sneak in, steal all the gold, and escape loudly on Gillion’s horse. Alphonse and Abdul will sabotage the warforged charging stations. During the final day of planning, Chip teaches Ollie how to climb buildings.

The day is here. Alphonse and Abdul convince the guards to let them in and disappear from sight. Gillion arrives at the palace door, shouting to the guards about how much he wants to kill the king in Primordial. Jay “translates” that Gillion is the King of The Undersea and needs a meeting with the king. Jay gets a natural 20 on deception, and a bishop comes up and ushers them in enthusiastically. Chip and Ollie begin to scale the palace walls. Chip falls halfway through but Ollie saves him. Chip lockpicks open a window and they sneak into a lavish room just as Gillion, Jay and the bishop walk into the room. They successfully hide.

The bishop leaves and they meet the king’s retainer. He nervously says that they’re not allowed to go in because the king is sick. Gillion picks up the retainer and walks down the hall. Chip and Ollie whisper to each other, Ollie saying that this would never work if he was still small. Chip tells him he’s proud of him when Ollie finds a dark, vault-looking hallway.

Jay and Gillion enter into the king’s bedroom, seeing a small boy in the bed. The boy guardedly asks what’s going on here. The retainer introduces the small boy as the king, Leon Edison, and himself as Gariath Watts. Gillion uses divine sense, smelling that Leon is not evil. Gillion introduces himself in common, asking what ails the king. Gariath realizes that Gillion was never a king after all. Leon says that he’s not sick, he’s just not supposed to be seen. Gariath interrupts, saying that he is sick, but Gillion tells him to let the boy speak. Leon continues that he’s not supposed to be king either. He’s not supposed to know this, but he’s heard people talking about this outside his door.

Leon explains that his father died recently without appointing an heir. The council is running the show now, because if the people knew a kid was the king, they’d never take him seriously. Gillion asks if Leon wants to be the king. He says that where he’s from, he has a council, but they walk among the people. He would not call a council that hardly knows the people a council. Leon says that he’s not allowed to and never has been outside the castle. Gillion asks if he knows what the people down there look like, act like, what their lives are like, with the implication that he will bring Leon down to show him.

Gariath says that he knows that there are questionable decisions in the council, but he is not a part of it. He thinks this meeting, as well as bringing the king to see the outside world, is irresponsible and immature. Gillion retorts that bringing a boy down to the layers below is what happens every day when a new life is brought into it. They don’t choose their position, and neither does Leon. But he believes that if Leon saw what happened down there, he wouldn’t sit idly by. He says that Leon should see for himself what his kingdom is.

Leon says that he’s only the acting king because his brother is away at the moment. Gariath wants to have a moment alone to speak with Leon. Gillion insight checks him, seeing that he feels fatherly towards the king. Gariath whispers to Gillion that he wants to keep the king out of these matters because he’s too young. Gillion responds that no one asks for responsibility, but should Leon accept it, he would be a great man. They let them have a moment alone.

Chip and Ollie find a metal door with a red glowing symbol. Jay whispers into his mind, asking what he’s doing. She leaves two magic stones in the bathroom that make it seem as though she’s shitting, then goes to help him. She says that if the symbol is destroyed, they can get through the door. Chip tells Ollie that sometimes, he has to take a risk, so Ollie scratches it away. They open the door, seeing a huge trove of treasure. As Jay and Gillion walk back they hear a scream from the king’s room. They rush in to see Gariath knocked unconscious and Abdul holding a gun to Leon’s head, his hands shaking. Abdul shouts that he has to do this, because the Blossom Boss told them to follow through on the mission.

They try to convince him to stop, but he pulls the trigger. No bullets come out of the gun, so he pulls out a knife. Gillion puts him in a magic bubble. They see a device in the hand of the retainer, which Gillion realizes is the secret third security measure. They hear the sound of boots approaching. Jay sends a message into Chip’s mind that “it’s going down”. Chip opens the briefcase and a glorious water horse leaps out.

## Transcription

A Google Doc of this episode's transcription is not currently available.

Transcriptions are made by pistolwaltz and their transcription team on Discord.