Illegal Activities

There are many illicit activities that plague the Omniverse and it’s many realms and sub frequencies. Some illicit activities are legal in certain realms, while others are banned across the whole of the Omniverse. If you witness an illicit action taking place, call your nearest law enforcement agency.

**Nose Dealing**

Nose dealing is just one of many illegal nose-related activities popularized by an entity known as the Nose Dealer. Nose Dealing is the process of removing an entity's nose and selling it on the Black Market for exorbitant prices. There are many different ways one may procure noses, some of these methods include Nose-Ripping, Nose-Napping, Nose-Acidification, Nose-Proliferation, Nose-Penetration, all of these methods fall under the umbrella term known as Nose Nabbing

The price of a nose often differs between species, these prices will be listed below, although they are subject to change in the near future:

**Sub - Sapient Nose: k3 - k4 (on average)**

**Monkeyman: k37 - k720**

**Booper: k23 - k 56**

**Weeb: k2 - k17**

**Crackonian: k1 - k2**

**Furry: k2 - k5**

**Car Guy: k4 - k77**

**Sapient Nose: k7 - k24**

**Anteater Nose: k10 - k31**

Female: k25 - k35

Male: k11 - k17

**Abyssal Entity Nose: k15 - k44**

Level 3: k15 - k46

Level 2: k22 - k62

Level 1: k43 - k74

Level 0: k77 - k120

**Dragon-Level Entity: k56 - k893**

**Peebusian Nose: k94 - k1,346**

(Noses grow back, can be harvested infinitely)

The Nose Dealer and his associates are wanted in 75 different Realms, there is now way of finding them currently, if you see the Nose Dealer or one of his associates, contact the Dimensional Authority or a local representative.

**Peebus Cell Transformation**

After The Great Peebus War, Peebus Cell Transfusion experiments were unanimously banned, as they caused great harm to the individuals receiving the transplant. Many great scientists were convicted after these experiments were banned, the craftier ones began to experiment on themselves.

One man, affectionately nicknamed Richard, had begun to research the effects of Peebus Cell Transfusion on his own body when he decided to experiment on one last creature, a stillborn offspring of Peebus. However, a Dragon-Level Entity intervened, causing a great explosion. When the rubble cleared, there was no one to be found.

It is widely accepted that Richard became the creature known as Koala Man, a Koala-Human hybrid who is known for his bouts of rage and insanity. He is prone to hostility and often attacks those that approach him regardless of intent, he is currently being studied within the Dimensional Authority’s Headquarters.

As for the other, the stillborn corpse also fused with the Koala-Cells, becoming the first Koala-Peebusian entity in existence. As a Peebusian he is capable of asexually producing offspring that will most likely be as deformed and mentally disabled as himself. His current whereabouts are unknown.

Peebus Cell Transfusion has been scientifically proven to be the main cause behind the existence between Lycra People. It is illegal for a reason.

**Fish Jenga**

Fish Jenga is one of the more perplexing of the illicit activities, it was banned on July 5th of 1817, after a Welshman had his genitals sliced off when the tower of fish fell on him; he is now known as Nick di-dwyll or Dickless Nick in normal speak.

Before that fateful day, children across the Omniverse played Fish Jenga way too much for their own good, it was often used as a schoolyard game, a way for parents to ignore their one mistake for a couple minutes, and sometimes as a punishment.

You see, Nick was not the first man to have his genitals removed by a large stacking of nondescript aquatic creatures. It had been used in prison systems across the Omniverse for over 3,000,000 years. Procedure included removing the offender's pants and undergarments and placing them beneath the tower so the knees were uncovered, guards would then play Fish Jenga until the tower fell on the offender, if the tower missed: they played again, if the tower failed to remove the genitals: they played again.

Although it is now considered illegal to play Fish Jenga in any public space, there are many organizations pushing for reforms to the law, others just ignore it.

The Based Department, for example, hosts public FIsh Jenga tournaments. If any member of their organization is caught interacting with a woman in any way whatsoever, their genitals are sentenced to death via Fish Jenga. Genital punishment does not only apply to members of the organization; If someone outside of the organization is seen interacting with a woman, their genitals are slapped violently by the belts of each member present.

**Illegal Crawfish Racing**

Crawfish Racing by itself is not illegal, if one follows the rules and regulations detailed in the Crawfish Racing Act of 2012 then they are permitted to hold or sponsor Crawfish Racing Tournaments. When one does not follow the rules and regulations, it is considered illegal.

Rules and Regulations:

* Track must be at least one foot in depth.
* Track must be ten feet long minimum.
* Crawfish must be longer than three inches, claw to tail.
* No illegally sourced crawfish are allowed to race.
* Crawfish will be subjected to various drug tests before racing.
* Competing crawfish must be above the age of consent of their home country.
* Crawfish are not allowed to race with firearms, bladed weapons are permitted.
* People dressed as crawfish are not allowed to race.
* Crawfish are not allowed to wear glasses, no matter how adorable.
* Whole crawfish that lose will be eaten unless protested by the owner.
* Owner’s found to be sexually assaulting their crawfish will be removed from the premises.
* Owen is not allowed to race under any circumstances.

**Crustacean Fight-Clubs**

Crustacean Fight-Clubs were heavily regulated in 1954 as part of the Outsourced Drug and Food Act, which banned illegal importing of crustaceans and other products. Crustacean Fight-Clubs are defined as: Any event that involves a member of the phylum Arthropoda being harmed or harming another, has been deemed unlawful and punishable by arrest and fine.

Although many laws are in place to counteract them, Illegal Crustacean Fight-Clubs are still a problem in the Omniverses many realms, and the numbers are continuing to rise. As of July 2nd, 2017, we have witnessed a 20% increase in Crustacean Fight-Club growth, either through already established Clubs expanding or new ones popping up.

Due to their growth in recent years, a section of the Dimensional Authority has taken it upon themselves to reduce those numbers. They are known as The Crustacean Protection Organization [C.P.O]

**I am Joe’s Lungs**

It is considered illegal for an unlicensed Pastor or citizen to read the epic poem “I am Joe’s Lungs'' by ChickenEspionage, those caught doing so will be arrested. The poem will be listed below:

I am Joe’s Lungs

By: ChickenEspionage

A part of Joe

Takes air inside

Feeds hungry cells

It comes alive

The diaphragm

Dome-shaped membrane

It flattens down

Signaled from brain

Air floods the lungs

Through bronchioles

Follows them down

Through tiny holes

The end marked by

Alveoli

Grape-like clusters

In air does fly

Diffuses through

Their tiny walls

Into the blood’s

Internal halls

CO2 leaves

Through walls again

Into the lungs

Exhale begin

The diaphragm

Returns to dome

Air leaves the lungs

Back to its home

The lungs can do

Some real neat stuff

But still beware

Things could get tough

Diseases like

Emphysema

Could make you cough,

And huff, and puff

Since you can’t get

Quite air enough

You must be kind

To your lungs

Must treat them as

Your baggy sons

To keep them well

You must not smoke

Tis bad for lungs

T’will make you choke

**Catfishing Catfish**

Due to an incident involving one Garrett Bobby Ferguson of Oklahoma and a Catfish. It has been deemed illegal to catfish a catfish online. Those caught catfishing will only be offered a fine, however, repeat offenders will be arrested and sentenced to jail time. If the catfish is underage the offender will be sentenced to death row.