Film Time at the National Film Theater

## Production

**Episode:** 21

**Date:** February 7, 1974

**Time:** 48:36

**Musical Director:**

**Vocals:** The Ladybirds

**Choreography:**

**Producer:** John Robins

**Director:** John Robins

**Writer:** Benny Hill

## Episode

* Quickie: Gondor Pipe Tobacco
* Monologue: Faith
* Diana Darvey - Dance With Me
* Merwyn Cruddy: Spy Catcher
* Quickie: Three Beans On Toast
* Guest: Design - Second Love
* Film Time At The National Film Theater
	+ Lulu Bell
	+ Baby Boy
* Quickie: Marriage Advice Bureau
* Quickie: Courting
* The Minstrel Boy
* Tag: Mr. TV Times Contest

## Highlights

* Quickies with Benny as the hillbilly Abner
* The Minstrel Boy
* Mr. TV Times Contest
* Benny impersonates famous American comedian W.C. Fields with Cheryl Gilham as Mae West.

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Bob Todd
* Leslie Goldie
* Diana Darvey
* David Hamilton
* Cheryl Gilham
* Jack Wright
* Bella Emburg
* Jim Tyson
* John John Keefe
* Clare Russell
* Malou Cartwright (uncredited)

## Quotes

* **El Sidney**  - "My philosophy is live every day as if it was your last, because one day, you'll be right."

* **El Sidney**  - "If I come home early, the wife thinks I'm after something. If I come home late, she thinks I've had it.... and she's right!"

* **El Sidney**  - "My wife has got a figure like a Venus... pencil."

* **El Sidney**  - "Once upon a time there were two Chinamen.... Now, look how many."

* **El Sidney**  - "I said to the wife, go out and see if it's raining. She says, call the dog in and see if it's wet."

* **El Sidney**  - "You know who's got no imagination? The parents of Efrem Zimbalist Jr.."

* **El Sidney**  - "Woke up this morning, had a cup of coffee with two lumps.... The wife and her mother."

* **Leslie Goodie**  - "Nearly all of your movies star men more than women. Are you against actresses?"
 **Sam Spelier**  - "Not as often as I'd like!"

* **Sam Speiler**  - "She was named after your Queen Victoria.... And not damn long after her either...."

* **Sam Speiler**  - "She was big. I mean everyone is entitled to be big, but she abused the privilege! She couldn't sing. She couldn't act...."
 **Leslie Goodie**  - "What could she do?"?"
 **Sam Spelier**  - "With great difficulty, stand up!"

* **Mae West**  - "My friends call me Angel... But not for long...."

* **W.C. Fields**  - "I'll have you know my father was a mayor!"
 **Mae West**  - "What was your mother? A jockey?"

* **W.C. Fields**  - "My father fought the last of the Mohicans. My father made the Brooklyn Bridge. He built the Empire State Building. What did you father ever make?"
 **Mae West**  - "Look me over, big boy. Look me over...."

* **Bartender**  - "Look at that walk!"
 **W.C. Fields**  - "Yes, reminds me I must get my watched fixed..."

* **Lucy Confort**  - "It's not your Uncle Rastus, it's your intended, Lucy Confort. Let me in."
 **Baby Boy**  - I can't let you into my boudoir on account I am in my pajamas."
 **Lucy Confort**  - "Land sakes, Baby Boy... Why can't you open the door in your pajamas."
 **Baby Boy**  - "Because I ain't got a door in my pajamas!"

* **Baby Boy**  - "You shouldn't be on my bed anyhow because I don't believe in that sort of stuff.... Not before marriage anyway.... And none too sure after either!"

* **The Minstrel Boy**  - "It must be a head. It's got ears on it!"

* **Medieval Woman**  - "I was Miss Bone Stuffer last year."
 **The Minstrel Boy**  - "That doesn't surprise me!"

* **Medieval Woman**  - "My mom said I've got the face that turns men's heads."
 **The Minstrel Boy**  - "You don't do their stomachs good either!"

* **Medieval Woman**  - "I've got the face of a nineteen-year-old girl."
 **The Minstrel Boy**  - "Well, give it back, you're getting it all wrinkled!"

* **Sir Lou**  - "These hands will someday find gold, and by the looks of those nails, you've started digging already."

## Trivia

* The Opening Quickie is a commercial spoof for Gondor Tobacco with Benny Hill on a date with Claire Russell. It is possibly left over from December 27, 1973.
* This episode is the first appearance of Diana Darvey on the show. She appears singing a song wearing a dress cut so low in back it would not be allowed by modern TV standards and practices. Benny, as her personal drummer, El Sidney, accompanies her on bongos with intermittent quips and jokes.
* This was the last episode in the series with Leslie Goldie.
* This was also the last known episode for Manolo, a rarely used Benny Hill character. Henry McGee, Jackie Wright and Bella Emberg appear in the sketch with him.
* A later Quickie features Bob Todd and Bella Emberg as spouses in a marriage counselor's waiting room who return to find his wife and her husband Cheryl Gilham and Benny Hill kissing each other.
	+ Bob and Cheryl's characters are named the Dobbs.
* The following Quickie has Bob Todd as a hillbilly patriarch with a wild daughter (Malou Cartwright) whose neighbor Zeke (basically Jed Jardine) comes looking to date her. The quickie is also possibly left over from December 27, 1973.
* "Film Time at the Natural Film Theatre" is a parody of "The Movie Makers," a recurring series of interviews with major filmmakers and actors at the National Film Theatre that aired on the BBC between 1969 and 1976 sketch. Benny previously parodied the program as The Movie Shakers on November 24, 1971.

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** The Great British Dancing Finals
* **Next Episode:** Gavin Blod - The Man and his Music