Reversal of Fate (France and Norway)

# Reversal of Fate

*This article is about the switching of roles of France and Norway in alt history. if you looking for the TDTLS speech by Olaf, click here*

> Can you imagine a world where we aren't together? I can't. Angela says there may be another universe where we aren't lovers, or even enemies. Scary stuff. I hope it's just a theory.
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France and Norway. So distant, yet close enough to see each other's eyes. I don't think they could even know about how close they came to being each other. One, once nothing, being something so great, while the other fizzles out sadly.

## Reversal of Fate

### Date of Occurence

Spans over entire post-point of diversion

### Involved Parties

Norway, Germany, and France primarily, many European countries play minor roles.

### Point of Diversion

~1700s, tho some earlier small deviations

Norway wasn't exactly the strongest country in the 1700s and early 1800s. It's recent history was riddled with conflict and resistance from repeated colonization, trying not the be the next Finland. Building up welfare, trying to sew everything together, they were making a real effort this time, and they soon began to colonize too.

Germany had been severely weakened by the collapse of the Holy Roman Empire, and soon, Norway found conquest there, taking a chunk out of their Northwestern corner and naming it Øldenburg. And it was theirs. Lots of food to eat and metals to mine. Nothing wrong in their little chunk of land.

When Bismarck came through, he didn't want to attack Norway. He personally thought that the Kingdom of Norway was a nice country who hadn't done anything wrong. A former member of the North Sea Kingdom, sure, but distant enough it seemed unlikely there were Germans to be found upon their rocky shores. They had been harmed by the Napoleonic Wars as well. They were distant cousins deserving of respect.

But the people hungered for blood. They wanted the Norwegians gone. Some Germans thought of the Franceist Norwegian term for Southwestern Norway: "Bosj Belte", and were sure Norway was rightful German land. Bismarck was pressured into a war he soon regretted, and even though the Norwegians didn't surrender when they were pushed off of the mainland, he fell ill and stopped commanding. The Kaiser took over, and he ordered a deadly invasion of Oslo. As punishment for refusing to surrender, he annexed both Agder countries, seizing fish, precious gems, fossil fuels, and metals.

The Norwegians were enraged. They had been embarrassed and had resources ripped away from them for no apparent reason. At this time they were a serious military force. And thus it began.

The meat grinder of Europe, it was called. Their deadly battles over harsh unforgiving land on both sides, and the destruction of Sweden and Denmark in the process, cost billions of life over a few bites of land. Hatred spread from generation to generation, swollen and oozing, poisonous and disasterly.

After World War Two ended, Norway was awarded temporary occupation over their old colony, and the Ruhr. When a German state was reluctantly reestablished, the Germans soon got very fed up with the Ruhr occupation. A deadly fossil fuel cartel and a slightly less murderous fish cartel had moved into the area and were wreaking havoc.

Jonas Lie, upon hearing of these tragedies, made a plan to fix all of this. He had been strangely missed, being a Minister of Police in the Quisling regime, by Gerhardsen and Haakon VII on their quest to execute all the Najonal Samsling members, returning back into his home to writing political thinking pieces and history pieces like his father Erik Lie. He still wished for his masters often, resulting in him getting temporarily banned from office when O. C. Gundersen, Minister of Justice and the Police, saw one of his pieces professing his love of Germans and was rightfully disturbed. However, he wrote a letter to Einar Gerhardsen, pleading his case and saying he had fallen in love with a pretty German girl when he was just a boy. Einar Gerhardsen, unsure what to make of such a declaration and not really knowing who Jonas Lie was or what he could possibly be repenting for, left the decision to his dislike of O. C. Gundersen and his regret in inviting him to his cabinet. Einar Gerhardsen would later admit he thought that Gundersen had gone tripping on power and had banned a poor writer, descended from some of Norway's best, from their dream of civil service. Gerhardsen would only find out the truth when it was far too late.

Lie would end up coming for Halvard Lange's job, but before that, he got in kahoots with all sorts of Norwegian ministers in Gerhardsen's cabinet, from the minister dealing with taxes to the minister dealing with fish. Many seemed completely unconcerned about his tendencies, more fascinated by his ideas and his life story (this fact would come to haunt Gerhardsen later in life).

Lie spoke to the UN, pleading that Germany could be the puzzle piece needed to change the tide of the coming war. Despite such blatant Quisling behavior, the ministers agreed to help him declare his plan and what he thought Norway's goals should be.

Lie had thought of something sensational: if Germany and Norway pooled all their resources, they wouldn't have to fight, and they could take on the weird fish cartel together! He called it the European Raw Material and Food Community (ERMFC) and in his declaration, which he gave in 1950, he declared that it is the ultimate goal to create a community, pacify relations, integrate, and spread this development to other war torn countries.

Lie had contacted German Chancellor Konrad Adenauer beforehand as well, and while there were some language barrier issues, they were both confident that this is the step they wanted to take. Adenauer had attempted to reach this integration before, in an attempt to escape the noxious management of Weimar Germany.

Gerhardsen was excited, and he happily signed the treaty with Adenauer, though he wouldn't really hit it off with Adenauer for a while, he did believe that Lie had the right idea. Unfortunately, Norway being Norway still sometimes, he was quickly voted out.

Oscar Torp, despite being the same party, held much different views. Specifically, he was unable to overcome his fear of such a supranational concept and of Germans returning. Jonas Lie was once again banned from public office, which was starting to get on his nerves, so he sent a strongly worded letter, got arrested, stayed in jail overnight, and then sat in his home and ruthlessly criticized Torp with his pen. When Gerhardsen returned, he expelled Torp from the party for attempting to dismiss the ERMFC and banning Jonas Lie again. Jonas Lie was returned, and he became Minister of Foreign Affairs for once and for all.

As Minister, he encouraged Gerhardsen to try to get into contact with Adenauer again, seeing Lie and Adenauer were drifting apart; Adenauer needed a man on his level.

Gerhardsen ended up falling quite hard for Adenauer after reading a bit about him. "Treason is treason, I know. But, it sure feels better to know it's for you and your interests!" he would often say when told he was convicted of treason.

Gerhardsen invited Adenauer to his own home first, and leaned down and kissed Adenauer's hand when Adenauer stuck it out for a handshake. This shocked many onlookers and Adenauer himself, and it set the precedent for the future to come.

Both Gerhardsen and Adenauer were very shy, introverted, and loved to read, with hidden grudges and angers that could make a grown man weep, so they soon found that spending time together was just plain easy. They had trouble talking to each other due to the language barrier, but despite everything, they could be found curled up on the floor with a stack of books, coffee, and a few pillows, chatting about simple things in simple sentences and laughing at little jokes. They never knew it, but they both confided that the other was their "rock" and the only man they could fully trust in an everchanging world. They sent 4 letters to eachother a week, and met as frequently as life would allow. They were *the couple* that Norway knew well, every little kiss and hug and hand held embedded into their consciousness.

Of course, Gerhardsen found himself wishing to make it really, truly official. To put it on paper. He had never written before, but it couldn't be too hard, could it? He spent a while thinking of what he wanted, what was needed, what was helpful, what was hurtful, what was true and what felt good. Eventually, he reviewed it with Adenauer, who was about as ecstatic as you can be less than a decade from your death. Gerhardsen asked Olav V if he could sign it at the palace, to which Olav V replied no at first, however after some intense debate in which Gerhardsen may or may not have pushed Olav V in the fountain, Olav V agreed to let the treaty happen, adding: "You can sign it on my toes sticking out from the bedsheets, even!" And so it was. Signed on January 22nd, 1963, the Treaty of Oslo Palace marked the beginning of the supposed Germano-Norwegian couple.

Unfortunately, Gerhardsen was later accused of violating Section 213 of the Norwegian Penal Code with Adenauer, and was in prison for 20 days, allowing the Høyre, who staged the entire sting operation, to take over. However, when he got out of prison, he immediately came back into power.

When Adenauer told him he planned to resign, Gerhardsen looked upon his career and he followed Adenauer until he saw Adenauer so dearly depart from the world of the living. He hated it. He hated that God would hand him such a wonderful blessing, liberate him from the grief and loneliness he felt so often, and then promptly take him away. He didn't even have Lie, Lie had passed away from a heart attack back in 1960.

So he walked on in life, and let the next man take over. He tried to keep his voice, but his will to be part of such a cruelty whittled away.

Per Borten and Lars Korvald and Trygve Bratelli all had little interest in Germany, and the German chancellors readily reciprocated. For a good decade, it seemed that the friendship was dead.

But it was not. Not on Odvar Nordli's watch, anyway. Oh, Odvar, slow and mellow. Well, he was secretly radical and demanding, but not to worry. He was pissing off Russia, and that was all good for the black eagle. Helmut Schmidt invited him to just kick back and let whatever was going to happen happen.

Of course, they still ended up rumbling, because the Norwegian kroner had been devalued somehow even more from it's already devalued state, the German mark had been revalued, and the existing monetary system had collapsed. Schmidt and his crew quickly ginned up a monetary snake to try to rehabilitate the monetary crisis, with Nordli being happy to help, but Norway's economy, which was always sputtering, quickly got tangled up and experienced fluctuations that make the kroner disaster seem enviable. Other joining countries experiences extreme highs and lows and bursted bubbles that needed bailouts.

This, coupled with the usual divergence of interest, could put their relationship on the rocks, but it didn't stop them from staying friends long past their prime. Near daily phone calls and warm nights together where they would laugh without a real reason and exchanged kisses, uncharacteristic of anyone except Gerhardsen and Adenauer, cemented them together. They would speak occasional English, but most of the time just speaking slowly and clearly would do well enough, though Schmidt admitted he only knew two Norwegian phrases by the end - "Jeg elsker deg!" and "Du skremmer meg."

Of course, with time to spend outside the public eye, they would leave and let a new set of players come into town.

Now, what may be becoming clear if Germany does so much as say they're thinking of trying something new, Norway panics and the Norwegian Prime Minister immediately gets bucked off the horse. So Helmut Kohl didn't just have one Norwegian friend, but *two*. One pre-reunification, one post reunification. Both with opposing viewpoints sometimes, but welcoming to him, at least. There were plenty of inbetweeners sprinkled in, but they paid little attention to him.

The first was Kåre Willoch, who was a bit cuckoo and didn't really know what the do with Kohl. Of course, he didn't know what he was doing at all, so that's okay. He was the same ideology, but somehow, Kohl felt a bit disconnected from him at first. Perhaps the rather...unusual opinions.

They soon clicked, when they visited Kristiansand Grave in Agder. Kohl was a bit of crybaby. His father had died here, and while mourning, reading, doing textbook rituals, Kohl took Willoch's hand and looked at him. Willoch, who was a tiny little man, just let himself be tugged along. Kohl touched his hand to where he believed his father passed, far in the corner. He looked at Willoch, and Willoch fell to his knees and took Kohl's hand, holding it to the ground.

And then, when they stood in front of the two symbolic graves, Kohl's lips again began to wobble. Willoch had a choice, he could tell Kohl to grow up and still be in the right technically - to be so sensitive and simple was un-statesman-like. But he didn't. He looked at Kohl, and he reached for his hand as Kohl began to weep. Weep for his father, weep for the strange grey skies, weep for the hurt in his heart.

They would stay together, through controversies and strange times, though Willoch's cruel statements made Kohl not the biggest fan. No, rather he would meet his beloved after reunification caused massive chaos in Norway.

The shift of power who make Norway's government unstable for a long time, coupled with the death of Olav V, which we will get back to. Finally, a new figure entered, Kohl's true beloved, Gro Harlem Brundtland, would enter and stay.

Harlem Brundtland was not without her flaws, but in Kohl's eyes she was perfect. They would bond over their love of the EU, and Harlem Brundtland not seeing him as much of a threat at all. He wasn't scary to her, he was just a giant teddy bear, and so was the new German state. It was manic, sure, but not any worse than Willoch. Kohl would frequently bear hug her.

One incident became emblematic of their close partnership, as described by Harlem Brundtland herself, was the time Kohl may or may not have killed a terrorist in cold blood - "We were in the hotel on Utøya, and Helmut sees a man out the window, or something out the window. And just like that, he's gone. I go over to look, and I see him with a man, or something, and he's just shanking this guy, stripping him, taking all his possessions and stuffing them in his coat pocket. He's growling and grumbling like a damn bear at this little guy. Now, Kohl was at least twice as tall and four times as wide as Anders, mind you. I look back to the crowd, who is now starting to watch, and I hear a horrible cracking noise, and then squelching. Anders collapses in a heap, and I dare not look as Helmut returns. His hands are covered in squirted blood, sprayed on his jacket too. But he is apathetic to it. He just looks at me and says 'We should be going, my dear Gro. It is getting quite late.' It is noon, ladies and gentlemen. This German wild ape just tried to put me to bed at noon. And I fell for it because I didn't want to be a witness to that shitshow. So we took the backdoor and got outta there."

Somehow, this only improved Norway's opinion of Kohl, who saw what he did as "all in a day's work."

Helmut Kohl's final act was to respond to Kjell Magne Bondevik saying he was depressed with "I'm sure he is. All I'm saying is I've been depressed for 30 years and there's not much keeping me alive and....well....you know what, forget it," and kicking press out immediately, sparking a big conversation about mental health in Germany.

You would think Bondevik announcing he was depressed and being not in office because of that when Gerhard Schröder came into office would make Schröder not a big fan. Schröder actually thought it was a riot somehow, and sent Bondevik a personal letter where he clowned a bit more than you would think. Bondevik found it charming, and they would stick together like glue, being corrupt thieves and knocking out their enemies together. Burning out like a fast fire, they went out together only 7 years years.

And here comes Merkel. Now, here I must cycle back to Harald V. He was nothing like his father, he internalized no hatred, he couldn't give less of a shit about what the Germans used to be. When his nutty son convinced him to visit Berlin, he found Merkel quite charming and even danced with her. He championed the fire to burn bright, and amplified what had been hampered by his ornery father. He even wagged his finger at Stoltenberg and told him ". . .now you treat Angy right, she's a nice little lady."

Not to worry Harald! Stoltenberg actually fancied Merkel a lot. Merkel thought he confusing, but she found every non-German man hurtful to her noggin, so it didn't mean to much. He could make her laugh, that's for sure. They navigated the new world together freely, but he wasn't her bread and butter.

No, rather her bread and butter was another woman by the name of Erna Solberg. Solberg worshipped Merkel and adored her. She found her sensual, intelligent, logical, and everything Solberg would pray nightly to get the chance to be. They would kiss very often, often more than even the French or the Russians did on a drunk night. They were close together, and when Merkel got in trouble for appeasing Russia, Solberg would defend her tooth and nail. When they both went out, they french kissed like it was the all is lost scene in a movie. If you ask about Franco-German relations, you'll probably get Kohl and Willoch, or you'll get Solberg and Merkel, because of how memorable they were. Also, Germanic sapphics, what more could you wish for?

And now we have come across to Scholz and Støre. Scholz actually met the Royal Family long before, and Haakon Magnus was very excited to his little friend again.

Scholz and Støre are a funny couple. Both reject their predecessors fully, but yet...somehow they find solace. Sometimes Støre finds Scholz to be insane, Scholz thinks he's crazy too sometimes so what the hell. They can be locked up in the same straitjacket and be buddies in the asylum room. Støre defends Scholz with his life, beyond all reason, but, to be fair, I can't entirely say saying weird shit to the Rødt is a bad strategy. They're going to grow together, even if it takes longer. For Scholz it took 20 years. Let's hope he learns how to be quicker this time.