Crew Captain Boombeard!/Transcript

## Pirate Impressions

(The vision is in 1st person view. Bomb enters the bathroom.)

Bomb: (Steps in front of the mirror.) Okay, Bomb. This is your chance to be a perfect pirate! (In pirate accent.) Yar! (Laughs.)

(Red walks by the bathroom but halts because of Bomb's laughter & enters.)

Red: Uh... Bomb? What are you doing talking to the mirror? Are you once again acting strange like last week when you tried to fit through the bathroom mirror? Oh, wait: You're doing pirate impressions again like last week.

Bomb: You guessed it we'll, me scallywag.

Red: & You're definitely no trying to burn our 10,000,000 haunted toys in the fireplace again.

(A flashback plays.)

Bomb: DIE YOU DEMON TOYS!!! (Throws the toys in the fireplace.)

(The flashback ends.)

Red: By now, Chuck should've learned not to buy demon toys by travelling to the haunted portion of Peru! One of the toys ripped his back off.

(Chuck enters the room traumatized, with ripped skin, bandages & his back has a cast over it.)

Chuck: That toy was too murderous that I had to throw that toy down the toilet.

(3 secs of silence.)

Red: So what are you gonna do?

Bomb: Build a pirate ship that can destroy anything in it's path & start a pirate party in Pig City... & Dress you up as pirates.

Red: Um, there's no pirate ship like that. & There's no pirates of pirate *ships* here right now.

Bomb: But there'll be 1 now.

Red: I so hate your love of pirates.

(Red & Chuck see Bomb gone.)

Bomb: I don't care because I whizzed off!

## 2 Whole Nights With(out) Sleep

(It is now 10:45 p.m. & Bomb is not exhausted.)

Bomb: Okay, gotta build the ship, dress everyone up as pirates, have party, bam!

(A montage starts as Bomb is building the ship. After a whole 2 nights without sleep, his room is now an entire mess. Matilda peeks her head inside his room to find him sees his room as a disaster. She gasps in shock & rushes to Red.)

Matilda: You go in there. It's a twisted mess!

Red: (Walks with her.) Okay, don't know what you mean but (Both reach his room.) OH MY GOD!!!!! What happened?!

(Bomb crawls from under a large pile of metal & tools, intensely tired.)

Bomb: Are ready see ship? (Hiccups.)

Red: You forgot "you, to, & pirate". But back to the--

(Bomb pulls back the curtains covering the ship, followed by a dramatic drumroll & fanfare.)

Bomb: Ta da... (Tips over & falls.)

## Pirate Par-Tay!

(Everyone is now dressed as a pirate.)

Red: Okay, explain to us again why we had to wear these dumb pirate outfits. What is this? Halloween?

Matilda: Why the double eyepatches? (Walks around aimlessly before hitting a wall.)

Crew Captain Boombeard: Yo ho ho! (Swings down on a rope.) The name's Crew Captain Boombeard!

Red: Alright, "Boombeard."

Boombeard: 1st order of business... Is to have party! (Laughs.)

(The Birds dash past Red & he gets grabbed by Jay, Jake & Jim.)

(The Birds get onto the ship, with Boombeard at the wheel, and drive off into Pig City.)

Boombeard: Do ye scallywags know what's best about a pirate party? Wait a minute. (He smashes through a food stand.)

Red: You crush all of the Pigs you see?

Boombeard: That's right!

(The ship heads towards King Pig's castle.)

Red: Look, it's King Pig's castle.

Boombeard: Never mind the castle, me boy! We get to (In a very deep voice.) SMASH THROUGH IT!!!

(The ship bursts open a giant hole in the wall, & King Pig drops his breakfast before he could take a bite.)

King Pig: Hey! (Walks up to the ship & tips it over using his brute strength, & all of the Birds tumble off.) You take this back! (Uses a blowgun shooter & knocks all of the Birds unconscious. Everything & the screen blacks out.)

## The Raid

(All of the Birds wake up, but see them tied up in a rope.)

Boombeard: (Looks up to see that King Pig has taken off with his ship. He screams.) Me beautiful ship!

(King Pig pops his head out of the ship.)

King Pig: That's right, fools! My crew-- & Foreman Pig-- stole your stupid ship!

Corporal Pig: All right, boys. ROUGH THEM UP!!!

Foreman Pig: I made the pie cannon. FIRE AT WILL!!!! (The pie cannon does so.)

(The Pigs notice the Birds gone & untied.)

Corporal Pig: What?! They got on already!?

(Matilda aimlessly bumps into him & he is crushed.)

Foreman Pig: Fire now! (He is knocked out on the back of the head by his own pie cannon.)

Boombeard: I got him now! (Tackles King Pig until he nearly falls of the plank. He grabs the edge with his sword.) I have ye high ground.

King Pig: But we're not in a Star Wars movie. (Boombeard knocks him off the boat & he screams in slow & rolls off in the distance)

(6 secs of silence.)

Red: So, back to party!

Everyone: YAY!!!

(You Are A Pirate plays as a remix, & the episode ends. For more info, click Crew Captain Boombeard!.)