O Little Town of Doggywood

***O Little Town of Doggywood*** is the twenty-third episode of *Off Book: The Improvised Musical,* and features guests Paul F. Tompkins and Nicole Parker. The musical takes place before a Christmas concert, in a world inhabited by dogs. It primarily follows two beagle brothers, Chauncey (who wants to perform in the Doggy Chorus) and Ralph (who wants to write songs) who try to pursue their dreams in Doggywood.

## Plot

### Act I

The excited, all-dog passengers on the Puppy Christmas Train are traveling to Doggywood to visit the Doggywood Bowl for a Christmas Eve concert ("Puppy Christmas Train"). Best friends and beagle brothers Chauncey and Ralph arrive at Doggywood station after a journey through the countryside. Chauncey admits that he wants to stay in Doggywood after the Big Puppy Concert to join the Doggy Chorus and confesses he thinks Ralph is a great songwriter. The two decide to stay in Doggywood to pursue their dreams ("You & Me [You & I]").

Meanwhile, chihuahua diva Darla, the star of the Big Puppy Concert is in her dressing room preparing for the performance and confides in her manager, a goldendoodle named Bobby, that she is struggling under the pressure of singing and dancing by herself. Together, they decide that more must be done to cater towards Darla's comfort and they compile a rider ("Throw Me a Bone").

The concert orchestra is becoming chaotic, comprised of 21 instruments; there are ten drummers drumming (not to be confused with the twelve drummers drumming in the "Twelve Days of Christmas") and eleven pipers piping. Also present are leaping lords, milking maids, french hens, calling birds, and a dog playing five golden rings (similar in concept to the triangle). At the hoop player's recommendation and coordinated by the Orchestra Conductor (a teacup Yorkie), they come together to rehearse ("Rehearsal"). Bobby arrives to announce that Darla will not be singing unless joined by other singers. The beagle brothers arrive and introduce themselves, performing a song for Bobby and the Conductor, and Bobby hires them immediately and takes them to see Darla ("Christmas Tree Stars").

### Act II

Bobby takes the brothers on a tour through the hotel for dogs in which Darla is staying ("Hotel for Dogs"). The brothers go in to see her, and though Darla is initially startled (thinking them to be murderers), she eventually accepts that they may be able to help her. Bobby and the brothers explain that they have come to meet her aboard the Puppy Christmas Train and have brought her bacon, which Bobby has supplied ("Best Friends Bearing Bacon" to the tune of "O Come All Ye Faithful"). Darla feels uninspired in her performances, but they prompt her to find her old inspiration again ("Cut to the Quick"). When Bobby suggests they go on a quick artist's retreat, the brothers and Darla remark that he sounds evil. Bobby reassures them that he does not have sinister intentions and tries to coax them into a dumbwaiter, but Darla doubts his motive and also reveals to the brothers she has a hidden cockney accent ("Follow Me").

Bobby forces them into the dumbwaiter, where they meet the seven Jewish swans who wrote most Christmas music. Ralph suggests they use the opportunity of being trapped together to create the perfect Christmas finale song. The swans explain more about writing Christmas songs despite being Jewish and Ralph tells them that he aspires to write songs like they do ("Exposition").

Bobby opens the dumbwaiter and reveals that he was not evil but that he genuinely wanted them to go on a retreat, and also that he forgot that he put the swans in there. He apologizes to the swans. They all prepare to go to the concert as it begins, and Darla accepts Ralph's song without making sure it is in her key. Everyone gathers together to coordinate and start the performance as the countdown to Christmas begins ("12 Minutes to Christmas"). Darla accidentally slips into her cockney accent in front of Bobby, who has never heard it before, and Bobby says that he accepts her even if she's half cockney spaniel. They sing Ralph's Christmas song and celebrate the holiday together under Dog God's approval ("O Little Town of Doggywood [Finale]").

**Show/Hide**

## Musical Cast

### Jessica McKenna

* Miscellaneous Puppy Christmas Train commuter #1
* Beagle brother Ralph
* Orchestra coordinator #1
* One of eight maids a-milking
* French hen #1
* Teacup Yorkie conductor
* Swan #2

### Nicole Parker

* Miscellaneous Puppy Christmas Train commuter #2
* Darla
* Orchestra coordinator #3
* One of ten lords a-leaping
* Quitterie, one of eight maids a-milking
* Calling bird
* French hen #2
* One of nine ladies dancing
* Shopkeeper Audrey
* Swan #4

### Zach Reino

* Miscellaneous Puppy Christmas Train commuter #3
* Train conductor
* Bobby
* Orchestra coordinator #2
* One of ten lords a-leaping
* Alecia, one of eight maids a-milking
* Golden hoop player
* Swan #1

### Paul F. Tompkins

* Miscellaneous Puppy Christmas Train commuter #4
* Beagle brother Chauncey
* Gerald, one of ten lords a-leaping
* Orchestra coordinator #4
* Swan #3

## Songs

* "Puppy Christmas Train" (07:21)
* "You & Me (You & I)" (11:26)
* "Throw Me a Bone" (17:21)
* "Rehearsal" (24:07)
* "Christmas Tree Stars" (28:44)
* "Hotel for Dogs" (32:01)
* "Best Friends Bearing Bacon" (37:07)
* "Cut to the Quick" (38:55)
* "Follow Me" (46:32)
* "Exposition" (50:59)
* "Twelve Minutes to Christmas" (56:04)
* "O Little Town of Doggywood (Finale)" (1:00:38)

Closing Song:

* "Twelve Practical Gifts of Christmas" (The Next Twelve Days Of Christmas) (1:06:54)

## Darla's Rider

* Upon entering her room, she wants a large carpet shaped like a mushroom (on which she can scratch and itch)
* Fourteen bowls of food around her when she sits
* An additional bowl for her shit
* Her dressing room should smell like bacon (not uncured, and not turkey meat)

## Twelve Practical Gifts of Christmas

1. A reliable tax attorney
2. An iPhone with a good battery
3. A car that doesn't break
4. A nice pair of tube socks
5. More hours in the day
6. A subscription to Blue Apron
7. An infinite line of credit
8. A non-fading henna tattoo
9. A hoodie with a string that fits
10. A good pair of earrings
11. Eleven pipers piping
12. The life-changing magic of throwing things away