B021 Gaylaxicon 2019

The Panel Cast - Photo courtesy of Matt Baume

> "*I would love to start enticing this turtle with pizza, and eat some, and then offer some to the turtle as a way of making friendship and friends along the way.*"
> ― The Other Jeannie Retelle
>
>

**Gaylaxicon 2019** is the twentieth bonus episode of Queens of Adventure. It was a live panel at a convention of the same name. In it, a new cast of queens, the Tuckernauts, are put through a trial in the World of Wonders. It was later release as the seventh episode of Queens of Adventure Legends.

## Summary

*Please see the Legends episode page for full synopsis of the episode. This page exists to archive the original bonus episode.*

 Three members of the Tuckernauts, Nocturna Lee Mission, The Other Jeannie Retelle, and Utica Queen, are taken to the another dimension and are greeted by a giant floating baby known as the Producer. They are to be tested for their capacity to be legendary in his Ship of Trials.

The queens traverse through several chambers. One features a floor puzzle and swinging blades. In another, they play a game of riddles with Alex, a kobold sailor. In a third, they are attacked by a large sword wielding turtle, who they defeat and threaten to make soup out of. Throughout, Utica is routinely distracted by her own magic, Nocturna uses her magic to clear obstacles and deal with threats, and Jeannie helps heal her teammates and tries to show friendship and compassion to those they encounter.

Eventually they reach the ship deck, which has a stage surrounded by chairs. In the seats are glowing celestial beings, whom the Producer explains will be the final judge. In addition to the Tuckernauts, one other team has made it this far. As that team steps out, the Producer announces a final test: a Catwalk off.

The queens performance knocks their rivals to the edge of the deck, as Utica's lights fly about them (The audience literally holds up their phones with lights on. You can find a video of it on twitter here). Nocturna convinces the DM she has more inspiration points than she does.

The audience declares that the Tuckernauts have legendary potential, and they are whisked back across the multiverse, waking up at their camp. In the campfire ashes they find a golden turtle shell.

### Characters

#### Party (debut)

* Nocturna Lee Mission - eladrin sorcerer
* The Other Jeannie Retelle - centaur barbarian
* Utica Queen - human wizard

#### NPCs

* The Producer
* Alex the Kobold Sailor (debut)
* Rival Drag Queen Group

#### Live Show Roles

* DM Matt
* Spirits (Audience)

## Episode Notes

### Inspiration Earned

* Nocturna - Nailography (which she manages to use twice)
* Jeanie - Jeanie Drop
* Utica - Frog Legged Booty Pop

### Memorable Quotes

* "Ohhh, not disappointment." - Nocturna Lee Mission
* "It's mostly a placebo effect." - DM Matt
* "He's wearing a little sailor suit." - "Cute!" - DM Matt & the Queens&Audience in unison.
* "It's swirling around the room, lighting up the chandelier, we're getting some nice ambiance, we're getting some low lights, some highlights, some more highlights, finding a mirror, looking at that, finding some crystals flying around the room, getting it nice and Hogwarts like, getting some lightning flashing around the room... but then I start paying attention." - Utica Queen
* "It's a glove." - "It's a prostate exam." - "No, it's a glove." - "I got more. Procreation of cattle." - The Other Jeannie Retelle and Utica Queen
* "How are you so good at this?" - "I don't know. I gathered a lot of snapple facts as a kid." - Alex the Kobold and the Other Jeannie Retelle
* "He has eaten your last pizza slice." - "It's like a bad college roommate." - DM Matt and Utica Queen
* "You just feel so old and out of touch with the youth. But then you're like "No, I'm not out of touch! It's the kids that are the problem." - DM Matt
* "Is she proficient with nun-chucks?" - "Oh that's such a good question!" - Audience Member and DM Matt
* "This is a full on lunge, with an up, pas de bourre, squish the grapefruit, kachow!" - Utica Queen
* "I would like to fly into a rage. My mother calls it one of my tizzies." - The Other Jeannie Retelle
* "Not the acrylics!" "It hits...you're gonna take 4 points of damage" "Ok, so they're *gels*, not acrylics." - Utica Queen and DM Matt
* "I'm the master of things shooting out of your body. I'm looking at you, baldy." - Utica Queen
* "My shadow blade is long and strong. It starts out blunt and tapers into skinny so it hurts right away." - Nocturna Lee Mission
* "I'm gonna have spotlights. I'm gonna dazzle, dazzle, dazzle, razzle dazzle. I'm gonna twirl twirl, shamblam shablam, cartwheel, backflip, and then Im going to hurt myself a little bit. " - Utica Queen
* "Primordial polka music?" - "It's one of the language I speak; it's on my sheet!" - DM Matt and Nocturna Lee Mission
* "Have you ever seen this frame with four hooves? It's pretty beautiful. Hourglass figure still." - The Other Jeannie Retelle
* "What makes me legendary is that I have been on a very long journey without strangling our gay ass wizard." - Nocturna Lee Mission
* "Big Old Baby, I think you need to make like a fetus and head out!" - Utica Queen

### References

* RuPaul's Drag Race (Workroom)
* Steven Universe (first puzzle room)
* Hogwarts - Harry Potter
* Jeopardy
* Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
* Simpsons - Principal Skinner's "The Kids are Wrong" meme
* Mean Girls - You Go Glen Coco
* Target
* Fantasia

### Name That Tune

* "Thank You For Being a Friend" - Golden Girls Theme
* "Ice Ice Baby" - Vanilla Ice
* "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" - Paul Dukas

## Behind the Queens

The show came about after DM Matt was invited to be a guest of Gaylaxicon, a queer inclusive gaming and fantasy convention.

DM Matt's concern for the audience return as a dice roller rolled it under the stage and dove under the convention stage to retrieve it.

This show had the most active amount of paddle usage from the audience, influencing nearly every role.

**Greetings From Fire Island**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Show Must Go On**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Operation Watersport**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - Ch7 - **Trials**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Ghosts of the Coast**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - **The Devil's Due**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Special**: The Story So Far
**The Beautiful Place**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **A Dance in the Dark**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4
**Drama in the Deep**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6 - **Whispers From the Heart**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Danger Rangers!**: Ch1 - Ch2 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5 - Ch6
**Mist Connections**: Ch1 - Ch2
**Unreleased**
Lost: Camp Crystal Light - Pax West 2018 --  vs the Lizard People
Live Shows: Seattle Style -- Minneapolis Style