Views from Osaka: Would you agree that Japanese society is built upon politeness and hospitality?

**Views from Osaka: Would you agree that Japanese society is built upon politeness and hospitality?**

By Robert Kodama, Special to the Japan Times

**Michael Brett**

**Academic consultant, 28 (Irish)**

Yes and no. Yes, because people go out of their way to be polite in public — for example, not talking on the phone on trains — and they are also polite and hospitable in customer service. But those two seem very superficial. Once you know a Japanese person well, it’s not there so much. It’s like keeping the surface moving smoothly while, on a deeper level, everyone’s just human.

**Gordon Hyppolite**

**Executive producer, 32 (Haitian)**

In a sense, I’d disagree, because more so, Japan is built upon image. It’s all about presentation, making sure things look good even by those who need to be polite but don’t care about doing so. My image of politeness and hospitality is that you actually care and do it from the heart. There’s been several instances where you can see a disconnect from the person serving you.

**Larisa Amaya-Baron**

**Stage manager, 29 (American)**

My initial reaction was no, it isn’t. I think Japanese society is based on politeness, but it’s actually fake politeness. My opinion on that is that Japanese society works like a well-oiled machine. The politeness is a contribution to the machine, whether they truly feel as if they’re being polite or not.

**Keiichiro Teramoto**

**Chef, 28 (Japanese)**

I agree with that. Hospitality is expressed by the motivation of individuals who truly want to be hospitable to others. It’s also an integral part of the Japanese language. For example, “itadakimasu” is a word expressed only in Japanese to show gratefulness for food, including taking the life of an animal for your meal.

**Shoko Nakau**

**Special needs specialist, 31 (Japanese)**

I agree and disagree. Politeness is important, but it can be too much at times. For example, train announcements are too frequent for problems that might seem unimportant. Hospitality is also important as greetings are good for communication and connecting people. Japanese are able to greet each other and show respect for others very well.

**Daniel Evelyn**

**Educator, 31 (Barbadian)**

I agree to some extent. Looking at language, the degree to which politeness or status are based on word selection is immense. Going to stores and dealing with issues as a customer, I’ve always had a sense of appreciation for that, and a measure of care was always given to my complaints. There is no doubt that Japan has politeness and hospitality ingrained into its culture.

*Interested in gathering views in your neighborhood? E-mail community@japantimes.co.jp*

## Comments

* B.I.T.: I remember the day I was yelled at and then chased out of a coffee shop for asking to use the bathroom.

I was taking a tourist around Asakusa, and we walked towards Kappabashi then on to Ueno. There weren't any public bathrooms nearby, and there was no way we'd make it to Ueno, so we stopped in a small coffee shop. The owner yelled at us and chased us out. As I walk away I said to him, "Sore wa omotenashii desu ka?"

Japan is like any other country - there are some really rude people here, and there are some really nice ones.

That guy was one of the rude ones.
	+ J. (at B.I.T.): Good on you for making that comment to the owner.
	+ J.B.P. (at B.I.T.): Great comeback for the cretinous. Shall remember it.
	+ P. (at B.I.T.): Your comment was excellent reaction. If I may, I'd love to use that should I get into such a situation. Hope not though. Most people are nice.
	Another suitable comment for the rude fraction of Japanese may be "how many languages do you speak perfectly?"
* S.J.: What foreigners often think of as Japanese politeness is actually Japanese formality, not politeness.

What foreigners often think of as Japanese hospitality is in reality staff training to ensure that they blindly follow the book and strictly adhere to rules.

There is very little that is genuine or sincere in either Japanese "politeness" or Japanese "hospitality".
	+ J. (at S.J.): You are spot on.

	Of course, you can be very rude or very cold by being inappropriately polite.

	I'm told "moushiwake gozaimasen" when my hand misses the cashier's change and 10 yen falls on the counter (my fault), if the cafe is out of set lunch c - well, not a major problem - and also if a hotel has messed up my booking and I'm forced to wait 30 minutes whilst they sort it out: their big mistake. I always think how insincere that "one word fits all" phrase is each time I hear it.

	There are plenty of situations where Japanese service could be considered rude: after a foreigner has ordered a salad in Japanese and been understood, then asking the Japanese present at the table what dressing they would like; when you attempt to take the bag of purchases in a shop and it is not offered then you feel humiliated as you remember you have to wait for the staff to come out from behind the counter and hand it over or escort you to the door. Being service-minded would mean reacting to the customer and handing it over to the outstretched hand.

	Recently, I seem to be being followed around stores as though I am a potential thief which is really starting to annoy me. I'm not sure if this is a new occurrence or if I just been spending more time in home wear type shops these days!
		- S.J. (at J.): I was at a Japanese fast food chain restaurant here in Tokyo recently where they have an automated greeting by the entrance door. A pre-recorded voice says "irasshaimase" (welcome) when a customer enters the restaurant and "arigatou gozaimashita" (thank you) when the customer leaves. Except that in this case, there was a malfunction, so the recording would say the opposite, i.e., "arigatou gozaimashita" everytime someone would enter the restaurant and "irasshaimase" whenever someone left.

		The funniest thing is that the entire time I was there, none of the staff even noticed the mistake and went about their business as usual. I had a really good laugh, since for me this incident perfectly encapsulated the superficiality of Japanese customer service, politeness and hospitality.
		- Y.H. (at S.J.): ...none of the staff even noticed the mistake and went about their business as usual...

		This is maybe because nowadays most staff in cheap fast food restaurants in Japan are not Japanese anymore, many are Chinese, Vietnamese, Indonesians, Filipinos or other Asians.
		- S.J. (at Y.H.): I go there often and they are all Japanese in this case.
		- J. (at S.J.): That's an amusing story, Steve. From time to time, I am welcomed into an empty convenience store with a real (!) "Irasshaimase", served and then on my way out the door, the staff just react to the ping-pong sound and I get another "Irasshaimase!" I'd say they look sheepish about half of the time.
	+ P. (at S.J.): Like R\_\_\_\_\_\_ wrote, this is spot on. On Japan? Sure, but not only.
	As a paying guest you will be treated well almost anywhere in the world.
	Wait until 2020.
	+ B.B. (at S.J.): S.J., can you compare and contrast with your country of China?
		- S.J. (at B.B.): I'm American, not Chinese or even Chinese-American, but I know most Japanese think like you do.
* A.911: I questioned all the politeness when I saw a man fall down the stairs in a station and people stepped over him to go about their business. It was only after I approached to help that people started coming to help. How can you be so polite, yet ignore someone in need? It was after that incident I realized that many are just doing what they were taught to do, not what comes from the heart.
	+ B.I.T. (at A.911): In Shibuya I saw an old man who was lying on the sidewalk and bleeding, while people walked past. By the time I got to him, one older lady had finally bent down to see if he was okay.
	+ J. (at A.911): "Being polite" doesn't mean "showing compassion", though, does it. I have witnessed several similar situations including a young woman who fainted and then started fitting on the train. Everyone ignored her and I alerted the guard at the next station.

	The Japanese practice of "shiranpuri" seems to trump caring or common sense a lot of the time.
		- S.J. (at J.): It's all about a lack of empathy in Japan. There was a good piece about it here in The Japan Times ("Tackling the ’empathy deficit’ toward non-Japanese", by Debito Arudou, April 30, 2014). Even though, it was about the lack of empathy shown by Japanese towards foreigners, it is also true pretty much across the board here in Japan.
	+ J.L. (at A.911): I had at least 2 similar incidents and heard of more.
* T.: These are generally very astute comments, by people who clearly have spent some time in Japan. The image tourists see (and Japan likes to project) is all about politeness and hospitality, but a lot of it is only on the surface. And many of those Japanese who are so polite and hospitable to tourists would quickly change their tune if they found out that those tourists were going to be living next door.
* J.L.: My impression is that politeness in Japan to a great extent depends on understanding the relative "levels" of the participants. Staff MUST be "polite" to customers; children MUST be "polite" to adults; but in situations where both parties are equal or the levels unknown, politeness is often considered unnecessary.
	+ S.J. (at J.L.): You make a good point, since Japanese can be polite to other Japanese in certain situations, yet be incredibly rude towards foreigners in the same situation.

	It is ironic that the above survey was done in Osaka. People will remember that just last year, there was news of a Nankai Railways train conductor in Osaka making racist and xenophobic announcements on a train, when he apologized to Japanese passengers for the presence of foreigners who were supposedly causing overcrowding and inconveniencing Japanese passengers on the train.

	The Guardian newspaper reported this incident in an article, "Japanese train conductor blames foreign tourists for overcrowding", dated, October 11, 2016. Here's an excerpt:

	"A railway company in Japan has reprimanded a conductor who blamed the large number of foreign tourists on a crowded train for inconveniencing Japanese passengers.

	The outburst will have done little to help Japan’s attempts to become a more welcoming destination for foreign visitors as it prepares to host the 2019 rugby World Cup and the Tokyo Olympics a year later.

	Japan’s successful pitch for the 2020 Games made much of the country’s reputation for omotenashi– traditional hospitality and service.

	But there was precious little omotenashi on display when the conductor addressed passengers on a Nankai Electric Railway express train bound for Kansai international airport near Osaka on Monday morning.

	“There are many foreign passengers on board today … this has caused serious congestion and is causing inconvenience to Japanese passengers,” said the conductor, a man in his 40s.

	The incident follows an accusation by South Korean tourists that a sushi restaurant in Osaka deliberately smeared their orders with eye-watering quantities of wasabi, a pungent condiment that should be used sparingly."" (end of excerpt)

	So much for Japanese politeness and hospitality!
	+ J. (at J.L.): But that could be said of many cultures...
* J.K.: “For example, “itadakimasu” is a word expressed only in Japanese to show gratefulness for food, including taking the life of an animal for your meal."

The idea that only Japanese has a word for such an event is, frankly, ludicrous. It's extremely common among indigenous cultures.

"After killing an animal, Cherokee hunters would ask the gods' forgiveness for taking the animal's life"
	+ J. (at J.K.): But this is a country that thinks it has a monopoly on "four seasons"!
* K.A.: I think that politeness in every culture has an element of "fake" to some degree, since its function is a sort of social lubricant especially when being too honest/blunt can cause a problem.

But as someone pointed out, Japan's politeness is ritualized in that not acting polite would result in a significant social stigma, and it gets attached to the individual who doesn't or wouldn't play this ritual.

I'm guessing many expats get slapped by this oh-you-rude-foreigner label as the result, even though they are behaving perfectly normal.
	+ S.J. (at K.A.): The problem with ritualized politeness in Japan is that it too often results in passive-aggressive behavior, which I find to be much more common in Japan than any other country in the world.
* P.G.: “Would you agree agree that Japanese society is built upon politeness and hospitality?" Why ask ? Obvious things need no belaboring. As an Insecure people as the Japanese are wont to be , they are constantly seeking affirmation and qualification from others. NO, they are NOT polite or hospitable.
	+ J. (at P.G.): Obviously, the same as other countries, some people are polite and considerate, others are rude. However, I agree with your comment about Japanese people feeling insecure about their place in the world. I often make this comment to my long-suffering other half when we watch some dumb TV show full of foreigners saying how great all things Japanese are - so desperate for approval like a second favourite child!

	I have travelled a fair bit and only the Japanese are desperate for me to say that their cuisine is great. Other places people may ask, "Is it not too spicy/rich for your palate?" etc but they never "force" me to agree that it tastes good!
* P.: A poll like this is a double-edged sword subconsciously triggering generalizations rather than objective judgements as foreign citizens are living and working in different places and environments and with different Japanese people around them. Even in a small village of a few hundred you find that the people exhibit any level of nice and rude.

With a very few exceptions, you will be treated (over)politely as a paying guest. That is why tourists were left out and you will see more about politeness as the Tokyo Olympics approach. This will not be inherent to Japanese society.
* Guest: **This comment was deleted.**
	+ S.J. (at Guest): B\_\_\_, one can still find restaurants and businesses in Japan openly displaying "Japanese Only" or "No Foreigners Allowed" signs. Anyone interested in finding out more about these can look at evidence and pictures of these on Debito Arudou's blog (under the rogues' gallery section in the "Japanese Only Places" tab on the top of his homepage). For those who don't know, Debito is a columnist for The Japan Times and also writes about Japan on his personal blog (just do a Google search to see his excellent blog).

	Admittedly, such obvious signs are not as common in Japan anymore after these received a lot of negative coverage in global media. However, many establishments in Japan now use more subtle and indirect tactics to tell foreigners that they are not welcome. This was recently covered in an article here in The Japan Times, under the heading, "Osaka sushi chain sorry for spiking foreigners’ orders with excess wasabi, denies ill intent", dated October 3, 2016. Readers have also added their own experiences in Japan with such businesses in the comments section which are worth reading.
* S.S.: Every country has its shortcomings. I have lived here for 2 years and I think sweeping generalisations shouldn't be applied to the whole country. I think as with any big metropolis Tokyo people or Osaka people tend to live different lives than people in say smaller cities like Kagoshima where I live. Also it helps if you can speak fluently as a foreigner because language is one of the social barriers to Japanese society amongst other things. I for one like the fact that Japan is for the most part still a closed off society. It has good points and bad points. For a person to really want to integrate into Japan society, you have to really love the country. I generally stay away from all the gaijin who stay here working and complain all day about how different and superficial etc etc they find this society to be. If I look at the world and see how other great countries behave after a natural disaster, I would choose to live in Japan because frankly, the Japanese people's behaviour to their fellow men/women during a massive disaster can't be found anywhere else in the world. Try that for politeness where people are hungry but wait in orderly queues for food and relief. Unlike the looting and rioting in London/ The US etc. So to conclude, I think people are polite from their heart.
	+ S.J. (at S.S.): Do you read the news? How about checking out the following stories, which have all been published here in The Japan Times, about the very dire situation of those affected by the Fukushima disaster and the lack of support they have received from Japanese society and the government.

	- "After weathering nature’s worst, Fukushima nuclear evacuees ostracized by society", March 17, 2017.

	- "Financial crunch time looms for Fukushima’s ‘voluntary evacuees’", March 7, 2017.

	- "Thousands of Fukushima evacuees face hardship as slash of housing subsidies nears", Jan 17, 2017.

	- "Bullying cases targeting child evacuees from Fukushima disaster now reported in Tokyo", Feb 28, 2017.

	- "Five years on, Fukushima evacuees voice lingering anger, fear and distrust", March 9, 2016.

	- "Six years on, Fukushima child evacuees face menace of school bullies", March 10, 2017.

	- "Fukushima evacuees’ housing units crumbling", Nov 17, 2013.
		- S.S. (at S.J.): I said every country has its shortcomings. I didn't know that disagreeing with some people will turn into a Japan bashing discussion. Bullying exists here and all over the world. You are going to point out the obvious? Japan is far more polite and than where I or you most probably come from.
		I come from Australia and after living here I can't find myself returning to ever live back in Australia. I find the society has its shortcomings and bad points but for politeness I can't fault my experiences. But then again I only have almost all Japanese friends and made it my point to try and understand the culture and live here with all the difficulties not as an ex-pat whining about how this is so weird etc etc.
		- S.J. (at S.S.): I don't know about Australia, but as an American, I can say categorically that Americans in general are far more genuine, sincere, polite and considerate (in the real sense of these words, not in the superficial Japanese way), accepting, flexible, open minded, warm, friendly, inclusive, fair-minded, hospitable, big hearted, trusting of each other and of outsiders, generous, inviting, forgiving, charitable, compassionate, honest, caring, sympathetic and empathetic than the Japanese.

		As long time Japan resident and regular contributor to The Japan Times wrote in her column here ("If you don’t feel accepted in Japan, join the far-from-exclusive club", Sep 15, 2016):

		"All these phenomena point to a problem with acceptance of certain people (a rather large portion) into Japanese society. But rather than admitting a national identity crisis, Japan perpetuates its problems by politicizing them and ignoring the obvious solution: tolerance and acceptance. Even in a society where everyone is not considered equal, everyone should be treated fairly and guaranteed their human rights."

		"Japan’s deep mistrust of strangers, or anyone not exactly like them, is what is behind the plethora of institutionalized rituals here......All these things that are often left up to the individual in other countries have a protocol that is painstakingly adhered to in Japan. It gets back to the age-old philosophical question: Are people inherently good? Or nefarious? While the West leans to the former, Japan suspects the latter."

		So, this has nothing to do with "Japan bashing" or "ex-pat whining", but rather it is based on my experience and observations after living here in Japan for over a decade. BTW, I have lived in several other countries, am very open minded and fully understand the Japanese culture. However, understanding the Japanese culture does not mean blindly accepting and agreeing with the negative aspects of Japan.

		In regards to bullying, while it may happen sometimes in other countries too, it is much more prevalent in Japan, not just in schools here, but also in the workplace and all across Japanese society.

		Lastly, I'm not into Japan bashing, but when the Japanese insist on perpetuating the myth and false narrative that "Japanese society is built upon politeness and hospitality", then one needs to set the record straight. If the Japanese or Weeaboos can't handle the truth, then they should think twice before spreading such falsehoods.
		- Y.H. (at S.J.): I cannot confirm that US-citizens in general are far more genuine, sincere, polite and considerate than the Japanese. I visited USA several times and found the highly aggressive tip-based society very annoying.

		My daughter (not an US-citizen) and her husband (US-citizen) were living in USA for several years, finally gave up and moved into Japan.

		USA has clearly a problem with its huge prison population and very serious racist issues, USA is also costly and legally seen a chaos - not so welcoming as you present it for sure.
	+ J. (at S.S.): "...the Japanese people's behaviour to their fellow men/women during a massive disaster can't be found anywhere else in the world."

	Such as spending billions on the Olympics when, six years after the earthquake, more than 100,000 people still live in temporary accommodation? Such as putting up a "Ganbare Tohoku!"poster and then not doing a lot else. I was listening to a radio documentary from a Japanese volunteer and he was saying how shocked he was that the Japanese public haven't really got involved when he was cleaning up with teams from other countries.

	"I think sweeping generalisations shouldn't be applied to the whole country"

	But you are content to apply them to the UK and the US.
	+ Y.H. (at S.S.): I agree with you, every country has its shortcomings. Don't ask me about shortcomings in Europe and Northern America. I could present you a long list starting from garbage collection, criminality, tip-society, missing reasonable health insurance and so on and so on.

	I am living here since almost 40 years as an European man with Japanese wife and I also prefer to stay away from foreigners who are living here but complain all day how discriminated they are and how bad the Japanese society is treating foreigners.

	I enjoy to be a 'gaijin' in Japan, no need for me to integrate and to become a 'Japanese'. My daughters are 50/50 Europe/Japanese, in their 30s and after living for some years in Europe, Asia and Northern America they came back, they too think, Japan is a nice place for living.

	About politeness, you will find some rude and discriminating people everywhere, also in Japan of course, however considering the long time I am living in Japan, negative experiences so far are only a few.

	Thanks for your comment.
* H.R.: Fortunately politeness is still a common feature in the airline industry in Japan. In the US? Forget about it!
* Guest: **This comment has been deleted.**
	+ S.J. (at Guest): You're missing the point. I have travelled widely throughout Asia and can think of many other Asian cultures where people are more polite, hospitable, warm, genuine and sincere than Japan. And yet, people there are not as conceited or vain to engage in navel gazing to the extent one finds in Japan. If the Japanese want to perpetuate the myth and false narrative of Japanese "politeness" and "hospitality" then the record needs to be set straight.

	It is not just foreigners, but even the Japanese themselves who don't trust their fellow Japanese. Last year, there was an article published here in The Japan Times under the heading, "Japanese Workers Distrust Their Employers, Survey Shows". It cites a recent survey conducted by the global consulting firm Ernst & Young which shows that Japan comes in dead last in all three categories out of the eight countries surveyed about whether workers trust their company, their bosses and their colleagues.

	In Japan, only 21 percent of employees trust their employer, only 22 percent of the employees trust their bosses and only 22 percent of employees trust their teams/colleagues. The numbers for the U.S. for these three categories are 38, 50 and 46 percent respectively. Even China does better than Japan, where the results were 40, 45 and 53 percent respectively. Are you going to blame these results too on "American posters" who like to "complain"?
	+ S.S. (at Guest): I agree with you! This discussion seems like a forum to air all the grievances of mainly people who probably can't speak, read or write Japanese but it's ok for them to work here but they find the culture impolite or offensive. Give me a break. I've been to the United States, and their service industry is full of fakeness just to receive tips. How about that? Working for tips, and when they don't receive any, American people sure become so impolite. Lol. Japanese politeness will beat American equivalent any day.
		- J. (at S.S.): "...the grievances of mainly people who probably can't speak, read or write Japanese..." Yet more of the "sweeping generalisations" you disparage below.
		- S.S. (at J.): I used the word probably. You like arguments don't you? I read your comments and none of them seem to have any good things to say about Japan. So what are you doing here, I'm interested to know?
		- J. (at S.S.): Yes, "probably" meaning "as likely as not" indicating that you assume most people disagree with you because they cannot speak Japanese and haven't integrated. Rather facile as an argument and even weaker as a defence.

		I'm not sure that I like an argument any more than you do.

		What am I doing here? Reading the news! Aside from that, living and working, but not in a bubble. Anyway, over and out.

## Source

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