Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash Wii U review

Hi everyone and no one that'll probably never read this! Today we are going to review Mario Party-whoops! Hey remember that review I promised a few millenniums ago? Yeah, it'll happen, but right now I need to review this game and 2 more games before we review that. Before we start off, let's take a look at the reception for this game and Mario Party 10. You know this game is bad when the reviews gave this game a lower score than Mario Party 10.

   I have been informed by many people in the world and the internets that Wikipedia is not a reliable source of information, but it is the only source I'm only going to bother with so screw it. Let's dive into the game.

The first thing you see when you start off the game is this title screen. Press A?!? Oh really, I thought I was suppose to press B. They can't even give you a proper introduction like all the other games or an introduction video.

    There are 6 ugly boxes to chose from in this mode: Mega Battle, Mega Ball Rally, Knockout Challenge, Classic Tennis, Online, and Rewards. Also the help button in the bottom right and the coins, but they have no purpose as the unlockables are way easier to get than having to take 3 steps to the toilet. Anyways, the pile of sewage that is Mega Battle takes up 1/4 of the screen and was suppose to be the mode that makes everyone's moneys worth it. I'm surprised people were smart enough to pass the game because Mega Battles are nothing more than a worthless feature and gimmick nobody would like. Anyways according to the many of sources I don't feel like stating in this review (which doesn't make me unreliable in the slightest btw), Mega Battles gets old quickly and Classic Tennis is the way to go, as it has always been.

Let's pick on Mega Ball Rally first because I hate it. This mode is suppose to be a minigame. Apparently someone at the Nintendo headquarters thought that playing tennis with a huge ball qualifies as a minigame. *Lovely.* So all you do here, you guessed it, you just hit the ball back and forth until someone screws up. There is a challenge that you have to hit the ball 100 times back and forth to unlock the Sprixie Princess. Those forgettable small Princess Peach wannabes that solely existed in order to make Peach playable in Super Mario 3D World, which I like. Still a better character choice than Plessie. Only the green one is playable, no QR Codes like in Mario Tennis Open to unlock the other colors of the rainbow. This mode would have been fun, except the A.I. in this game is even more idiotic than Siri misinterpreting everything you say. The A.I. basically aims to win every time, so expect to get your ass kicked because their cooperation skills are just as bad as the partner you are given in your assignments that don't ever do anything.

The next mode on the hitlist is Mega Battle. This mode is basically tennis with Mega Mushrooms. It is also the mode that you paid your $60 because you thought that even until this very day, this mode would keep you coming back for more. Enjoy those $60 and make the most out of it because I think it would have been better spent on charity. So basically in this mode, Toad will decide whether you deserve a Mega Mushroom and if he doesn't give it to you, it basically means you have the worst luck in the world because once you grab one, you become OP and break the game. I take that back, you don't break the game, you just become OP enough that you win your match. As said in my previous statement, if Toad doesn't give you a Mega Mushroom while he gives the opponent one, you have to survive while the other opponent tries their bestest to own your sorry ass. Enjoy a guaranteed victory once he decides to give you one 10 minutes later. Oh, and you can also jump in this mode. I apologize for forgetting that, it's not that memorable enough for me to remember, much like everything else in this game.

Next up we have Classic Tennis. This mode lets you play tennis without the OP Mega Mushrooms. You have a choice between "Standard" and "Simple" Mode. Standard is basically Mario Tennis Open style where you have those wacko shots that have been nerfed in this game. So it's less wacko, but it's the kind of wacko that you like because at least you're not losing from OP Mushroom Mode every time the opponent gets a mushroom and you don't. Simple Mode is the same thing, except the wacko shots are gone now. This is probably the only thing this game did right that Mario Tennis Open didn't, give us an option to chose which mode we like to play, too bad there aren't any records to record your victories against a specific opponent.

The next mode to cover is the Knockout Challenge. Not only does this replace Tournament Mode, but it also includes amiibo$$$. That also means unfortunately the only mode this challenge includes is the OP Mushroom Mode. I take back my only praise for this game, apparently they couldn't even get this right because it also forces you to play with the OP Mushrooms. So if you're in Round 69 and the opponent gets a mushroom, you might as well turn off the game because you've just lost that round. You can also include amiibo$$$ in this game to make it a 2 vs 1 against the CPU and make things easier for you. Every 5 matches your amiibo gains an improvement on whatever ability it is that they get. It's also randomly generated so you don't know what you're getting. You can also put your Gold Mario amiibo into play if you're lucky enough to afford one. This applies to all the 10 people in the world that are busy hoarding one. This is the only mode he appears in and he's basically Mario except with a golden skin. Why isn't he an unlockable? The game creators knew damn well that they put the time and effort (which is none) to create this character and I can't even use him? Why did they even create this character to begin with if you can't play as him in any mode you like? It's bullshit!

    You can also bring your amiibo$$$ to come play with you online, but what's the point? Everyone ragequits if they lose so there's no purpose to that mode. So lastly we have the challenges, which are pretty much worthless features because you can either do them or spend your moneys on them. They are also stuff the developers added so that they don't make you want to ditch this game in 3 days and send it back to whatever store you bought it from for a refund. For example, play 15 matches to unlock a star version for Peach. Screw that, take my money so I can get this game over with. Other challenges include play on \_\_\_\_\_ court 10000000 times to unlock another court. These courts look cool and all, but they are on the same stadium. What happened to having unique set ups and locations whenever you play on a different court? I guess all of that disappeared when Nintendo took that quality over quantity bullcrap literally because the only thing Wii U games do good on are the quality while everything else is missing. Good gameplay, gone! Surprisingly, that's the only thing this game has that other Wii U titles are missing, except it's apparently missing all the other side content that made the previous Mario Tennis games good. If Nintendo do something right, they find a way to screw something else up.

So you probably wanna hear the final verdict now. Before I give it a rating, let me just say that they game is even more barebones than a dead skeleton. You got the same-y characters that are in every other Mario game and same-y looking courts. There's barely anything that makes it stand out as **creative**and **unique**. So I give this game a 2/10, but because Rosalina is playable, I give it a -1/10. Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy my other content.