Episode 44: The Marxist 007

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

The CIA is a truly evil company that has done bad stuff where ever they go. James Bond is a true "Spies Spy" who always gets the job done, a lover who always gets the job done. But What if he was Marxist? And what if Josiah taught Drew how to go on dates? Find out and more.

## Idea Details

* Idea: The real life leftist 007, aka the Marxist 007, aka the World Wide Leftist Spy
* Creator of idea: Drew
* Purpose of idea: Josiah, this episode is all about one thing. This week's episode is all about - this next - ble- this - this week's episode is all about - (Josiah: "Sorry, what?") This week's episode is all about: \*voice in the techno remix says, 'James Bond Bond Bond Bond Bond Bond Bond Bond Bond Bond Bond Bond Bond'\* (Josiah: "Wowwww! Let's go!") You like that? I've had that planned the entire time, Josiah! And I bet you had no idea. (Josiah: "I had no idea! I was too enamored by your improvements in the conversation sphere.") I'm reall- getting really good at being a podcaster. Anyways, Josiah, lately, people have been getting really mad about this CIAA recruitment video. Have you heard about this? Have you seen this on the news? Everybody's talkin about it. (Josiah: "Uh I don't really watch the news, to be honest with you. I'm a cord cutter, is what they say.") Well, what does that mean? (Josiah: "It means I don't have any electricity in my home.") Well then how are you recording this? (Josiah: "It's to acetate.") That's not true. Well here's the - (Josiah: "So people are mad about the CIA, is what you're saying.") Well yeah. You know, anything involving the CIA is, of course, bad. But think of the bigger picture. Think about uh gradually people joining these spy agencies - more progressive, more left-leaning - they join them, they're able to - we're getting - (Josiah: "So wait the - w- what - what - sorry. Let's pretend that our listeners are the stupidest dogshit fuckin assholes on Earth.") OK. (Josiah: "Let's just pretend. Hey, Drew, let's just - I'm doing air-quotes - let's just 'pretend' -") Sure. (Josiah: "- that they're fucking dumb dumber than mud sacks of shit who don't deserve to live. Let's just 'pretend' that that's the case.") OK. (Josiah: "You know what I mean? Let's just pretend. Like it's not -") OK. Wh- (Josiah: "- probably not true, but, you know, let's just fucking pretend these people are stupid dogshit asshole pieces of shit.") Right. (Josiah: "So these fuckin morons -") Yeah? (Josiah: "- what is the CIA, if they don't know? T- what it is.") Well it's the Central Intelligence Agency. And that is the central place in the planet - (Josiah: "The brain!") - well, in the globe - well it's almost like the brain of the planet! It's where all the uh secret service and the spy agencies of all across the planet get together and share all their different information and all the d- they get together and they talk about the missions and they talk about targets and they talk about assets. (Josiah: "Did you say 'ass-hats'? Like Donald Trump or uh these ass-hats out here on the...") No uh assets. Like A-S-S-E-T-S. (Josiah: "Ass-hats.") Well... Not exactly. (Josiah: "OK so they're spies and you're saying that the spies should stop sleeping and become woke.") Well, in a way uh gradually, I think these spy agencies are gonna become more progressive and what would be a better agent of change than a secret agent of change, Josiah, and if we were to have our own - our own uh leftist 007, inside the secret intelligence agency to make things happen? Do you understand? Does that make sense? Do you need a - do you need some background? (Josiah: "Yeah a little bit. Just - not me, the dumbass idiots who listen to the show.")
* Timetable: The timetable for the real life leftist 007 is intentionally unclear because we are not going to know when it happens since he is a leftist secret agent working for the CIA. It will likely be very soon though.
* Idea details:
	+ James Bond, aka leftist secret agent 007, will not be working for Her Majesty's Secret Service, he will be working for the Central Intelligence Agency, aka the CIA.
	+ James Bond himself is not becoming leftist agent 007, but rather a James Bond type character is. He could be played by Idris Elba since a lot of people say a black man can't be James Bond, even though Idris Elba would make a great James Bond.
	+ To avoid saying 'James Bond' and being tied to the previous Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig versions of the character, we will refer to him as 'The real life leftist 007'.
	+ The order you say the real life leftist 007's names in doesn't matter. You can say Bond Bond James or James Bond Bond or Bond James Bond Bond, etc., as long as you say it with two monosyllabic names.
	+ The person playing the real life leftist 007 needs to be someone in real life with star power and who is an avowed leftist in the DSA with DSLs. Dennis Bateman satisfies all of these requirements and more so he will be the real life leftist 007. He will say, 'The name's Bateman. Dennis Bateman'.
	+ Idris Elba will play James Bond, the fictionalized version of Dennis Bateman's real life work as a leftist spy.
		- Note: It is unclear how this will be possible with the elimination of all other forms of media in Episode 31: Mandatory Warhol. Even if this fictionalized reenactment of Dennis Bateman's real life work as a leftist spy were to be aired on the Mandatory Warhol Network, the actor portraying him would need to be switched out every 15 minutes. Additionally, Idris Elba would be unable to perform any of those 15 minute segments because, as specified in Episode 31: Mandatory Warhol, any current or former celebrities will not have their chance to appear on the Mandatory Warhol Network because their 15 minutes of fame are already up (other than James Corden who will be running the network and introducing guests after being slaughtered and turned into an ethereal being who can constantly be awake, more like an A.I. angel recreation of James Corden who doesn't need to eat or be paid).
	+ The real life leftist 007 will do what's in the best interest of a leftist society, such as organize, protest stuff, start stuff and stop other stuff, stop assassination attempts on any leftist presidents, and get out there and make their voice heard.
	+ If the president tells Dennis Bateman they need to be doing an evil Pentagon strike on these different countries, for example, Dennis Bateman will be the kind of guy who will look at his orders and then tear up the secret folder that the mission statement is in, and then he'll eat it.
	+ Dennis Bateman may already be dead or presumed dead, which if that idea takes hold enough in the collective conscious, it will make his transition to being the real life leftist 007 that much easier since he will then be a secret agent.

## Devil Play

* Josiah played devil by saying that since it's already a big enough change to make James Bond, 007, a leftist who knows about theory and Marxm, etc., they should make it still be a white man but not call him James Bond or you will think of Idris Elba.
* Josiah played devil by asking what's the value of having a leftist CIA agent 007 who's leftist.
	+ Drew pointed out, simply, that the value is that instead of doing bad things, they would be doing good things.
	+ Josiah asked him to expound on what good things they would be doing.
	+ Drew responded that they would be doing the work.
	+ Josiah asked him to expound on what work they would be doing.
	+ Drew grew angry and asked if Josiah was really that ignorant.
	+ Josiah asked him again to expound on what work they would be doing.
	+ Drew stated they would be making sure that everybody has read Marx but he wasn't really sure what they would do beyond that. He listed 'organize' as an option.
	+ Josiah suggested they could go to protests and stuff, they could start stuff, and they could stop other stuff.
	+ Drew agreed with all of these options. He also came up with a hypothetical scenario where there is a leftist president and someone was going to kill leftist president, then the real life leftist 007 could stop the would-be assassin.
* Josiah reluctantly bedeviled Drew by positing that if Any Cop's A Bastard then that might apply to a spy, asking to clarify whether a spy is a CAB cop.
	+ Drew, intrigued by this line of thought, agreed that a spy could be a cop and a bastard, but maintained that a spy could also do what's in the best interest of a leftist society.
	+ Josiah asked him what exactly would be in the best interest of a leftist society.
	+ Drew specified that they would just get out there and make their voice heard.

## Notable Events

* Josiah and Drew performed an announcer's welcome over a drumroll to introduce the show.
* World Wide Wednesday
* Josiah and Drew intended to utilize a conversation ball in this episode, starting with Drew throwing the conversation ball to Josiah. Unfortunately, Drew can barely throw and the conversation ball fell flat on the ground right in front of him and deflated on a piece of broken glass so they were unable to utilize it.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Phone conversations - English speaking skills practice" about how to answer the phone.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about how to have conversations with your roommate.
* Girl Hell / Globe Girl
	+ These were proposed ideas for the name of the forthcoming female reboot of Globe Hell Warning.
	+ Note: Girl Hell and Globe Girl should not be confused with World Wife, Drew's late bride-to-be who took her own life upon discovering her fate, as was revealed in Episode 15: World Wide Beer with special guest Tom.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video that involved a live conversation with a person you're on a succession of dinner dates with, as a date conversation test. Drew took the test, with the questions and his responses listed below:
	+ LEVEL EASY
		- What have you been up to lately?
			* Should we - should I pause it? Like does she give me time to answer? I can't - I can't pause it and think? I can't think - I can't pause it and think of something to say??
			* You're beautiful.
			* Well, uh because of the uh pandemic, I've been staying -
		- Where are you from?
			* Calgary. Home of the stam- home of the stampede, the greatest outdoor show on Earth.
		- Avocados gross me out.
			* Was that relevant... to what I was talking about? Why would you ask -
		- My favorite music in the whole world is classic rock.
			* Oh my God! Yeah, I love classic rock! I love AC/DC, um Led Zeppelin, um you know, I love - I love pop, like -
		- Last year, I went to Italy for two weeks.
			* Let me take my give-a-shit pill.
		- Last week, I finally saw the movie *The Godfather*.
			* Oh really? Um took ya long enough! Just kidding, I haven't seen it myself. I'm not - not a fan of uh um that sort of um Italian cinema.
		- I would love to share a glass of chardonnay right now.
			* I don't drink.
				+ Note: Drew previously revealed that he had started drinking as of Episode 15: World Wide Beer with special guest Tom, so it can be inferred that he stopped drinking sometime between the two episodes. This is the same assumption that was previously made about Josiah in Episode 37: World Wide Wipes, though neither discrepancy has been directly acknowledged.
	+ LEVEL MEDIUM
		- These glasses are a little too big on my face.
			* You don't have any glasses on. Like, what's goin on? Are you making f- are you making fun of my glasses?
		- I work downtown at a marketing company.
			* Oh cool, what do you do? For them. Like exactly. Can you get into more depth?
		- I hope it starts to get warmer out.
			* Well, yeah, it generally gets warmer in the summer.
		- I'm trying to find some fun things to do on the weekend.
			* ........Well, yeah.
		- I'm more Republican than anything else.
			* (Josiah: "You're not gonna say anything about that?") No, I mean, it's - it's her choice.
		- I'm starving right now.
			* Oh. Well we're getting dinner so soon you'll be able to eat up. Just don't order any avocados, right? I - I -
	+ LEVEL HARD
		- Hey, I'm Kayla, nice to meet you.
			* Wait, HARD is - hang on!!! HARD is - HARD is, 'Hi, nice to meet you'??. Well I'm just -
			* Hiya, Kayla, it's so m- nice to meet you! My name is Drew. I'm a podcaster.
		- I'm getting pretty bored.
			* Well then why don't you take off?? I got better things - I g- I - you know what? I could be doin whatever! I could be at home chillin with my - chillin with my friends in the Discord.
		- You're funny.
			* Thanks a lot! A lot of people tell me that one of the greatest things about me is that they make them laugh.
		- Can you buy me a drink?
			* Yeah, what would you like? I'll get ya a large beer.
		- Cool.
			* That is cool........... How are you?
		- It was nice to meet you! Take my number!
			* Oh, thanks so much. I got her number! (Josiah: "Well, no you didn't. She didn't give it to you. Where is it?") She said, 'Take my number,' so she probably is slipping it - she's probably giving it to me. (Josiah: "She hasn't moved!")
		- OK I have to go. Bye!
			* Bye! It was so nice to meet you, Kayla.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Our First Date | IELTS English Speaking Practice | Have a Real Conversation" that involved a live conversation with a British person you're on a date with, as another date conversation test. Drew took the test, with the questions and his responses listed below:
	+ Ohh, hi! I am so sorry.
		- G'day! (Josiah: "Don't speak over her!")
	+ I hope you haven't been waiting for long. I really did mean to get here at half past. I'm so sorry I'm late. Ahh! But I'm here now.
		- (Josiah: "Normally you would say that's OK or something, Drew.")
	+ You look nice! Oh, is this for me?
		- I should let you know that uh yes.
	+ Mm smells good.
		- It's water!
	+ Oh that's lovely.
		- It's just water.
	+ Ooh candle! Romantic.
		- Not romantic.
	+ Ah... yeah. Ah just -
		- Is she gonna stop talking or what, Josiah??
	+ - work has just been a bit crazy, I -
		- (Josiah: "Just pretend I'm not here, I'm an earpiece in your ear.")
	+ - I meant to leave at 5 o'clock but um - but they made me stay behind and finish a project and -
		- Mhm.
	+ - you know, cause I - you know, I do design work.
		- Right.
	+ And um yeah. Ah! There- there's just a big project on at the moment and -
		- Oh.
	+ - yeah it's just been - it's just been a bit manic. But enough about me!
		- Wouldn't - wouldn't use the term manic.
	+ I've kept you waiting long enough. Tell me about you. St- start - start off by telling me what you do for a job!
		- Well, I'm a podcaster. I'm also a - occasionally stream, uh have my own community, uh um -
	+ Ohh. And is that near here? Do you work nearby?
		- Well it's just something you do from home..
	+ Ohh. So why did you choose to do that job?
		- Um, you know, I'm not really suited for doing anything else! I don't like going out very much, I don't get along with people very well, uhh you know, I tried to do an interview show but people just didn't like me, so uh now I have a friend who I do a podcast with!
	+ Ooh. I - I love artwork, I love creating! Um yeah so for me, it just made sense to - to move into design. Um -
		- Mhm.
	+ - I guess I *would have* preferred to be a children's book illustrator, but there's not much work going um in that industry, soo, you know -
		- Well, you have to go after your dreams!
	+ - I moved into just being uh a product designer.
		- Mhm!
	+ But I really enjoy it! Is um - is your job quite a popular job in your country?
		- Y- yeah, it's one of the most popular jobs there is, actually! Haha. For people my age.
	+ Ooh... And would you say that you um like your job? Are you happy?
		- No................................... (Josiah: "You're not saying anything to her!") I already answered her question! (Josiah: "Ask her the same question!") Do you like - do you like your job?
	+ Yeah, pretty much. I... like I say, I like being creative, and -
		- I didn't ask for your life story. I answered with one word.
	+ - I feel like it really draws on all my skills.
		- (Josiah: "Come on...")
	+ And I quite like the people I work with. I think that's really important, actually. To get along with your colleagues.
		- That's one of the problems with me.
	+ Do you get on well with your colleagues?
		- N- hahahaha.. not really. Well, you know, I love him, but he also drives me crazy. Um he's a piece of shit, and I will kill him.
	+ That's cool. I remember when I first started -
		- Note: Josiah cut her off at that point.
* Josiah and Drew performed another announcer's welcome over a drumroll to introduce the show.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "James Bond Theme - RTTR TECHNO REMIX" which was a techno remix of the James Bond theme song.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "This CIA Recruitment Video Is Getting Slammed For Being Overly 'Woke'" about a new CIA recruitment video that's being slammed online for its overly woke language.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "The James Bond Timeline Explained From 1962 to 2020" about the timeline of James Bond, secret agent 007, who has been taking down criminal organizations for decades and gaining massive props for his stylish approach to fighting crime.
* Josiah and Drew listened to the James Bond theme song.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "BOND 2021 Trailer - Idris Elba" about a trailer for a movie with Idris Elba as James Bond.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "TF2: A Complete History of the Spy" about a history of the spy.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "An Interview With... THE SPY! (TF2) [Podcast Parody]" about an interview with the Spy from Team Fortress 2.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "Dennis Bateman Actor Reel" about scenes from Dennis Bateman's role as Adam Worth in the TV spies *Leverage* episode "The Jailhouse Job".
* Drew read some of Dennis Bateman's acting roles.
* Josiah and Drew listened to *Spies* by ChewieCatt, as featured in a video called ""Spies" - A Fortnite Song | (Chapter 2 Season 2 Battle Royale)".
* Josiah and Drew watched a video where police chase a spy.
* Josiah and Drew watched "An Interview With... THE SPY! (TF2) [Podcast Parody]" again.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "James Bond Theme (Techno Remix)".
* Josiah and Drew discussed a potential rebrand as being 'The Laughtists'.
* Josiah and Drew discussed whether Dennis Bateman is alive or dead.
* Drew read some of Dennis Bateman's acting roles again.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video called "You got backstabbed in the wrong neighborhood" which included a remix of *Casin* by glue70 to include Dennis Bateman's voiceover work in the role of the *Team Fortress 2* character of the Spy.
* Josiah thanked Dennis Bateman for becoming the World Wide Leftist Spy over a drumroll and also thanked Drew for the idea and asked if he had anything else to say. Drew had nothing else to say. Josiah and Drew thanked Libsyn for everything they do to help the podcast come out every week. Josiah thanked Drew for his dates earlier in the episode so they could study them and asked again if he had anything else to say. Drew then began to plug something until he realized that he has nothing else going on in his life other than Globe Hell Warning. Drew asked if Josiah had anything to plug but Josiah's other things are already so much more successful than this show so he thought it would almost be patronizing, in a way, to bring them up.
* World Wide Leftist Spy

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "I think we should just try to make it a good episode for once. Let's just make it a good episode for o- just try to make it a good episode instead of the usual."
* "Sometimes just as soon as I hit record, I think, you know, th- 'What's the point?'. You know what I mean? I hit record and I just feel like, 'What th-'. As soon as th- as soon as we're recording, I think this is just futile. People don't wanna hear the change."
* "[Hastily performing an announcer's welcome over a drumroll to introduce the show after Drew's multiple failed attempts] It's Globe Hell Warning welcome to the show we'll listen to the podcast. K done. K? We're done. We're into the show."
* "So one - I do - I d- because everything about me is time to change things, even when I'm sad about world, I change world, and even when I'm sad about Globe Hell Show that no one cares about it, I wanna change it! And make it b- and make it better!"
* "[On the topic of how to possibly improve the show] I think what's missing, maybe, and I can't even believe this - so obvious all along - is that I think we need to get better at our conversation skills, you and I. I'm not saying we're bad at having conversations, I just think - just in general, conversational-ll-ly, we need to conv- we need to.. convert convert our conversing a little bit better, and make it come across better how we communicate to one another and to the listener and make sure that we're good at conversation. So I thought before we get started on what I'm sure will be another brilliant idea from the mind of 'Dr. Ew' Drew is what I - good way to break just uh break up the name."
* "[In response to Drew throwing the conversation ball to him] Well, you've - you've th- you ca- you can barely throw and it just sort of fell flat on the ground right in front of you and deflated on a piece of broken glass."
* "[In response to Drew saying he tends to slur] You do say slurs a lot."
* "[Assessing Drew's performance on his live date] OK I just wanna say, you know, I've been married for a long time; I think I've proven that I've - I can t- I can - I can handle my way in a conversation with the opposite uh \*whisper\* with the opposite sex. I think you shouldn't have spoken over her so much, and I think it was quite rude when you said that you should take a give-a-shit pill when she said that she went to Italy."
* "[In response to Drew interrupting the woman he was on a date with] Don't speak over her!"
* "[In response to Drew saying that people on the left were really mad about the new CIA recruitment video] Well I'm on the left. I'm a leftist podcaster Globe Hell Warning podcast left."
* "So wait the - w- what - what - sorry. Let's pretend that our listeners are the stupidest dogshit fuckin assholes on Earth. Let's just pretend. Hey, Drew, let's just - I'm doing air-quotes - let's just 'pretend' that they're fucking dumb dumber than mud sacks of shit who don't deserve to live. Let's just 'pretend' that that's the case. You know what I mean? Let's just pretend. Like it's not - probably not true, but, you know, let's just fucking pretend these people are stupid dogshit asshole pieces of shit. So these fuckin morons - what is the CIA, if they don't know? T- what it is."
* "[In response to Drew saying 'assets'] Did you say 'ass-hats'? Like Donald Trump or uh these ass-hats out here on the... Ass-hats."
* "[On the topic of James Bond movies come from James Bond books] So they could make a James Bond movie and use the book uh Marx - no, but they could use Marx one. One of those Marx books. Could be all about uhh money and work and all that shit that that guy talks about."
* "Do you think that James Bond is a worker?"
* "So, basically, he's trying to - James Bond we know he's a good guy because there's a bad guy whose name is No, and James Bond is saying, 'Yes,' ins- by fighting him, he's saying, 'Yes,' and that's what we need to do is we need to say yes to everything."
* "Well you never know when you- you never know when you- you never know when you're gonna have a meet-cute."
* "[On the topic of a person of color playing James Bond] Well what about, instead of being a person of color, what if it was a white man who's wo- who's leftist?"
* "[In response to Drew saying it would be fine if a white man who's leftist was James Bond] You were gonna say you think it'd be better, I think."
* "[On the topic of a person of color playing James Bond] So I think maybe it should be a - still be a white man."
* "But I do think the thing that I remember now about James Bond that I love is how he has two single-syllable names. Two monosyllabic names. And th- (Drew: "007.") No, uh James Bond is what I like about it is that you can just - it's fun to say: 'James Bond'. And I think he says, 'James Bond James', right? He says the name's James. Bond Bond James. It's, 'The name is Bond. Bond.' Is it - does he just say Bond three times? 'The name's Bond. Bond Bond'."
* "So anyways, I'm saying it's the - whatever order you say it in, if it's Bond Bond James or James Bond Bond, Bond James Bond Bond - however you say it, it's important to have two monosyllabic names. We need someone that's in real life, we need somebody who has star power, we need somebody who is an avowed leftist, a member of the DSA with DSLs. We need - I think we need - I - here's what I'm thinking. Tell me if this sounds right: 'The name's Ruess. Nate Ruess.'. (Drew: "That guy??") He's leftist! He's probably got a gun already! So what if we made him into the real life leftist James Bond?"
* "[In response to Drew asking whether he knows anything about spies] Uhhhhhhhh I mean, of course I do, but of c- our listeners have dogshit for - in place of a brain, so for their idiotic sake, I would love to you to play the -"
* "So it's still - so OK, fine, fuck Nate. We won't get Nate to do it, that's - that was a dumb mis- that was a dumb mistake on my part. I'm sorry. That's my first officially dumb idea on the show and I take responsibility for that."
	+ Note: Some would argue that World Wide High School was Josiah's first officially dumb idea on the show because it was the first (and to date, the only) idea to have been vetoed.
* "Dennis Bateman has played a spy on TV and video game *Fortnite*, he *Team Fortress*. He knows how to become a spy so he'll become the leftist 007 for the CIA."
* "And so tell me w- I guess, what's - I mean, we saw the CIA video, everyone was mad about it: what's the value of having a leftist CIA agent 007 who's leftist?"
* "Can I really quickly just play devil for one second? Not - I don't want to. It - it pains me to do this, but I must bedevil you for one moment. I remember people saying, 'ACAB', meaning, \*in an Irish accent\* 'A Cop is A Bastard'. I remember hearing someone say, '\*in an Irish accent\* A Cop is A Bastard', and I thought that they meant that any cop was, maybe it was, '\*in an Irish accent\* Any Cop A Bastard', '\*in an Irish accent\* Any Cop's A Bastard'. And so I was trying to think, if \*in an Irish accent\* Any Cop's A Bastard, does that include th- people who are like beyo- not just like your standard uhhhhhhhhhhh police officer who's patrolling on a Segway scooter through the town, but they maybe they also include parking meter maids and also, I mean, even security guards or c- cops who are stopping people from skateboard- all these people! And I'm just k- you know, I - it seems like \*in an Irish accent\* ACAB is the way to think about life, and I'm a little worried that \*in an Irish accent\* ACAB will also apply to a spy! Is a spy a CAB? Cop? Is a spy a CAB cop?"
* "What makes a spy a spy? Is it - it's just if you look at things?"
* "[On the topic of having a real life leftist 007] I mean, I love it! I think it's great, and if we finally have somebody at a high level 007-level caliber who is sort of immune to the structures and the burrah- burracr- burr- I call it the 'burracrosry' of the government, then he can just do what he needs to do! And he'll get the job done, he'll march and he'll do the work and he'll knock on doors and he'll get the votes in and he'll make it all happen!"
* "[In response to Drew informing him that Dennis Bateman is dead] Are you serious? Are you pullin my hog right now?"
* "Dennis Bateman, if you can hear this, send us a signal uh somehow."

### Drew

* "You sound like you're frowning."
* "No one gives a shit about us. We create great ideas every week and it's just like uh nobody wants uh - nobody wants to listen to these guys."
* "[Performing an announcer's welcome over a drumroll to introduce the show] Welcome everyone to Globe Hell, it's World Wide Wednesday, it's May 5th, May the 5th uhh uh *The Emp*- uhh revenge of the 5th. Uh it's another day in whatever's happening with uh with the news. There's different sorts of different uhh things happening. Hang on. Can we run this back? Welcome everyone to another World Wide Wednesday, it's Globe Hell The Podcast where we solve problems one problem at a time. In each episode, we uh we have an issue, we resolve the issue, that's how simple it is. Welcome, I'm your host uhh Josi- back to the start. Back to the start. Welcome everyone to another episode of Globe Hell Warning. I'm your host, Josiah Hughes."
* "Play your fucking video."
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with asking him where he's from] Calgary. Home of the stam- home of the stampede, the greatest outdoor show on Earth."
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with telling him avocados gross her out] Was that relevant... to what I was talking about? Why would you ask -"
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with telling him she went to Italy last year] Let me take my give-a-shit pill."
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with telling him she watched *The Godfather*] Oh really? Um took ya long enough! Just kidding, I haven't seen it myself. I'm not - not a fan of uh um that sort of um Italian cinema."
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with telling him she would love to share a glass of chardonnay] I don't drink."
	+ Note: Drew previously revealed that he had started drinking as of Episode 15: World Wide Beer with special guest Tom, so it can be inferred that he stopped drinking sometime between the two episodes. This is the same assumption that was previously made about Josiah in Episode 37: World Wide Wipes, though neither discrepancy has been directly acknowledged.
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with telling him her glasses are a little too big on her face] You don't have any glasses on. Like, what's goin on? Are you making f- are you making fun of my glasses?"
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with telling him she hopes it starts to get warmer out] Well, yeah, it generally gets warmer in the summer."
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with telling him she was trying to find some fun things to do on the weekend] ........Well, yeah."
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with telling him she was starving] Oh. Well we're getting dinner so soon you'll be able to eat up. Just don't order any avocados, right?"
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with telling him she was getting pretty bored] Well then why don't you take off?? I got better things - I g- I - you know what? I could be doin whatever! I could be at home chillin with my - chillin with my friends in the Discord."
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with saying her work has been a bit manic] Wouldn't - wouldn't use the term manic."
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with asking him why he chose the job of podcaster and occasional streamer] Um, you know, I'm not really suited for doing anything else! I don't like going out very much, I don't get along with people very well, uhh you know, I tried to do an interview show but people just didn't like me, so uh now I have a friend who I do a podcast with!"
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with asking him if the job of podcaster and occasional streamer is a popular job in his country] Y- yeah, it's one of the most popular jobs there is, actually! Haha. For people my age."
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with asking him if he is happy] No."
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with saying she is pretty happy with her job and she likes being creative] I didn't ask for your life story. I answered with one word."
* "[In response to the woman he was on a date with asking if he gets on well with his colleagues] N- hahahaha.. not really. Well, you know, I love him, but he also drives me crazy. Um he's a piece of shit, and I will kill him."
* "You wanna hear about my........ lovemaking?"
* "[Performing another announcer's welcome over a drumroll to introduce the show again] Well we have a lot to get into on this episode of Globe Hell Warning. Welcome to the show, everybody. Um... how - Josiah? \*drumroll starts\* Oh. Welcome to Globe Hell Warning, everybody. My name is Drew. Say hello to my host, Josiah Hughes. Uh he's - welcome."
* "I'm reall- getting really good at being a podcaster. Anyways, Josiah, lately, people have been getting really mad about this CIAA recruitment video. Have you heard about this? Have you seen this on the news? Everybody's talkin about it."
* "[On the topic of his dates earlier in the episode] God, I - there's a lot of things that I would do differently if I could."
* "For example, we've heard a lot about Idris Elba playing James Bond, and I have no problem with that. A lot of people get angry and say, you know, a black man can't be Bond, but I disagree. I think Idris Elba would make a great James Bond. Uh and I th- honestly hope that one day we're gonna get to see Idris Elba play James Bond. I think the time has passed, I think, uh you know, if we were gonna get Idris as Bond, we would have got it already, but, you know, that doesn't mean that there's not gonna be another person of color that could come up and take -"
* "[In response to Josiah saying James Bond refers to himself as 'Bond. Bond Bond.' and then verifying with a video clip] Well he just says, 'Bond Bond Bond Bond James Bond' that time. So what the fuck do I know? All right, whatever. I don't know anything."
* "[On the topic of Nate Ruess becoming the real life leftist James Bond] I don't think he has what it takes."
* "Yeah, so this is the way that spies dress. They have, you know, they have masks on, they have suits."
* "We need to find this guy. We need to find Dennis Bateman."
* "Shut the fuck up!"
* "This is Dennis Bateman! Who we are proposing join the CAIA to become a leftist 007."
* "[On the topic of Josiah's idea to cast Nate Ruess as the real life leftist 007] That was a dumb idea."
* "[In response to Josiah asking him to expound on what work the real life leftist 007 would be doing] Well, do I really need to say any more or are you that - are you that ignorant?"
* "You may devil me."
* "[In response to Josiah's question about whether a spy is a CAB cop] Well that's an interesting question. And I think a spy could be a cop. And be a \*in an Irish accent\* bastard. But I also think a spy could do what's in the best interest of a leftist uh society."

## Trivia

* Drew went on a succession of dinner dates with a woman in a live call at one point in this episode, which is similar to his idea in Episode 4: World Wide Potluck known as World Wide Speed Dating, which would involve Drew doing some speed dating at World Wide Potluck.