Episode 256 - Master Attackers

Well this Skud fella is a little odd, what with the undead everywhere…but he seems nice enough. Hopefully we can continue on our quest without any more interruptions. I feel like I had said this before, but I am sure nothing bad will happen. Especially if we open this door that seems to be barred shut. Oh here it goes…

## **Story**

### Long Story

The Tower of Grey has just met Skud Derringer, a monk Genasi who lives in the Monastery of Uthgar in the mountains of Ssathra. Toby Treacletart is shocked and horrified to see him burning scrolls of magic, and so he casts *Mage Hand* to stop him. Lahnik "Lahni" Caplain asks if he knows if someone who looked like her passed by, and Skud acknowledges that he has, but he doesn't know where they went. Toby asks why would be burning the scrolls, and Skud replies, "because I know them all." They are his scrolls, and he doesn't want anyone else to have them.

Lahni apologizes for punching the zombie from last episode, and Skud just shrugs it off and waves his hand. The zombie reassembles itself. Skud refers to this as his "Butler". Not seeing any other clues here, Toby wants to scoot, but first Frank tugs on Rowan Grey's arm, and reminds her that they are also interested in the treasure. Skud offers to let them sleep there, but remarks that the beds are for the undead and demons that live there. There are no demons now, but there can be about 5 or 6 sometimes, as well as 3 zombies, 4 skeletons, etc. They are on a rotating shift, he says. Lahni asks if he could bring her family back to life, and he thinks it might be possible, providing he has a remnant of the deceased, but they'll discuss that later.

Toby *Detects Magic*, and discovers a lot of necromancy magic, particularly around the dog, Squelch, as well as some divine magic. Skud gives them the tour of the place, telling them that he has lived there since he was a young boy, and the monks there took care of him, so now he is taking care of them. They ask Skud if he is the only living thing here, and he responds with incredulity, refusing to accept that his zombie friends are dead. In his mind, if they are "UN"-dead, ipso facto, they must be living. He asks one of his zombie friends, Jeremy, if he is dead, to which Jeremy shakes his zombie head "no". Lahni asks how everyone died, and Skud remarks that it was "alcohol poisoning". He tells them that, before Lannie arrived, it had been nearly 20 years since anyone had come to the Monastery. Frank begins getting accountant-horny for these undead workers, who don't require payment, or food, or proper lodging, or really anything.

Rowan finds a giant door that says "The Old Master's Secret Treasure", or whatever the fuck, so she sneaks off to it while the others check out the upstairs. The door is locked, so she picks it and the door swings open to reveal a winding staircase. At the bottom, another door, with a groaning sound emanating from within. Rowan nearly opens the door, but decides against it, and goes to return to the top of the stairs, but that's exactly when Skud leads the rest of them to the treasure room. Rowan uses her *Hide in Plain Sight* ability to sneak around the group, and pretend that she has been with them the whole time. Skud is reluctant to open the door, claiming that the Old Master is in there. He says that the Old Master *was* dead, but isn't now. He says that his Old Master was the first person he ever tried to bring back from the dead, and it didn't go so well. He says that the Old Master is no longer under his control, and that he doesn't have to re-revive him, the way he must for his other, less scary skeleton buddies.

Toby suggests that they go take care of the Old Master for Skud, which the Genasi has no problem with. Lahni lifts the *DRAW BAR* and kicks the door in, and suddenly, a fight begins. The battle is mainly composed of Lahni and the Old Master exchanging their Flurry of Blows back and forth, like a goddamn *Dragonball Z* scene or something. Eventually, Rowan taps into her Lightning Arrow, and obliterates the zombie. Her final shot is super fucked up. Jennifer specifically asks that you, the listener, come up with the wildest way for her to shoot her final arrow at this fool. After the battle, Skud appears apathetic toward the re-death if his Old Master, and casts *Life Transference* on Lahni to give her some of his own hit points. Frank inspects the treasure.

### Short

The party meets a strange monk, Skud Derringer, with a flock of seagulls haircut, a lazy robe open super low, and chest hair which is waxed uver the opening of the robe... but no where else. He has a zombie dog named Squelch and a bunch of undead monks that he's revived. He's the only one who lives there, and he gives them all the grand tour. Eventually, they get to the treasure room, where Skud's Old Master's zombie body is hanging out. They open the door and fight it, where Lahni and the Old Master *Dragonball Z*-style fight, trading Flurries of Blows back and forth. Rowan shoots an epic Lightning Arrow in a ridiculous pose to finish him off. The episode ends as Frank inspects the treasure.

## **Trivia**

* Toby has been trying to learn the spell *Illusory Dragon*, and is distressed when Skud admits it is the only spell he hadn't learned before burning the scroll
* Skud's holy symbol is a GameCube controller on a chain
* Skud stated he started as a Cleric but he needed to be able to bring his friends back so he went into wizardry. (This is weird to me because Clerics get Animate Dead the same as Wizards as a 3rd level spell.)

## **In This Episode...**

### **Cast and Player Characters**

* Michael DiMauro - *Dungeon Master*
* Tim Lanning - Toby Treacletart
* Jennifer Cheek - Rowan Grey
* Mike Bachmann - Skud Derringer
* Nika Howard - Lahnik "Lahni" Caplain

### **Non-Player Characters**

* Frank Ubell
* Jeremy
* Skud's Butler
* The Old Master

### **Locations**

* Ssathra
	+ The Mountains
		- The Monastery of Uthgar

### **Quest Log Updates**

* [Active] - Find Lannie Caplain
	+ [New][Active] - Search the Monastery of Uthgar in Ssathra for clues
* [Optional] - Find a way to pay back the Ferrim Pecunia bank of Pelor's Hope
* [Active][Jaeludra] - Investigate the Great Colosseum in Caer

### **Quotes**

**"I curse, but, you know, there's language that you say, and then there's language that you don't say, and sometimes, I just, like to not say some things. But then sometimes, I like to say a lot of things, so it just depends..."** ~ *Lahni Caplain*

## **Rolls**

* **Recap**
	+ Tim - 8
	+ **Jennifer - 14**
	+ Nika - 13
	+ Bachmann - 7

* **Rowan** rolls *Perception* to to see if there are any doors that may have treasure behind them - 25
	+ She sees a door that reads "The Old Master's Treasure Room, Keep out!"

* **Rowan** rolls *Sleight of Hand* to to pick the lock on the treasure room door - 15
	+ Success - It opens

*Combat Begins vs the Old Master*

* **Initiative**
	+ Lahni - 20
	+ Skud - 18
	+ Old Master
	+ Toby - 11
	+ Rowan - 5

*Round One*

* **Lahni**
	+ Melee Attack (roundhouse kick) (also Flurry of Blows) - 14+10, 19+10, 3+10, 4+10
		- Hit, Hit, Miss, Miss - 19

* **Skud**
	+ Casts *Chill Touch* - 25
		- Hit - 12 damage

* **Old Master**
	+ Flurry of Blows vs Lahni - 19, <19, 26, 26, 29
		- Miss, Miss, Hit, Hit, Hit - 39 damage

* **Toby**
	+ Casts *Telekinesis* on Old Master - 20 vs STR check - 22
		- Fail - Not Telekinesised

* **Rowan**
	+ Ranged Attack (Lightning Arrow) - 26
		- Hit - 15 Lightning damage

*Round Two*

* **Lahni**
	+ Melee Attack (x2) - 26, 13
		- Hit, Miss - 11 damage
	+ Uses Ki point to Dodge
	+ Also, makes a DEX save to avoid Rowan's Lightning Arrow which they forgot when it happened - 23
		- Success - even then, she has Evasion, so she takes no damage

* **Skud**
	+ Uses *Turn Undead* cleric ability, requiring a DC 15 WIS saving throw - >15
		- He is not Turned

* **Old Master**
	+ Melee Attack (Flurry of Blows) vs Lahni - ??, ??, ??, ??
		- Miss, Miss, Miss, Hit - 13 damage

* **Toby**
	+ Casts *Black Tentacles* on the Old Master, but gets Lahni as well, requiring DEX saving throws
		- Lahin - 16
			* Fail - 7 damage
		- Old Master - 7
			* Fail - 14 damage

* **Rowan**
	+ Ranged Attack (Lightning Arrow) (Sharpshooter) - 22
		- Hit - 47 damage - kills him!