Animals, But We're Villainous

"Animals, But We're Villainous" is the closing song of *Cincinnati*. A rogues gallery of animal villains introduce themselves.

## Lyrics

**Zach (spoken)**

*No, Jess is actually canon. Jess is Aqualad. Jess is also canon.*

**Jess (spoken)**

*Yeah, I am DC canon.*

**Zach (spoken)**

*You're both DC canon.*

**Robin Lord Taylor (spoken)**

*Amazing!*

**Jess**

We're both DC ca-

**Robin Lord Taylor (spoken)**

*What! What! Yeah!*

**Zach (spoken)**

*We were thinking we might talk a little bit about, more about, let's turn some other animals into villains!*

**Jess (spoken)**

*Yeah we know that, you know, he's not literally, like a penguin into a villain, but that's what we're gonna do.*

**The Ocelot**

Well I'm the Ocelot,

A small jungle cat.

I'm in a suit

With leopard spats.

Not ocelot spats,

A different cat's spats.

That's where I'm at,

And I wear a hat.

**The Koala**

Aw yeah, I'm here to take over all yah!

I'm a super evil adorable koala.

I'm eating every bit of your eucalyptus

But also stealing money if you get this.

Yeah you know, I'm also insider training,

And cheating on my grading.

I'm a teacher but I give everyone D's.

Not F's but D's yes if you please.

**Turtle Man**

Yo.

I'm Turtle Man.

I talk really slow

But I am

I am a turtle man.

I'm

Really small

Green and hard.

**Komodo Dragon**

I'm Komodo Dragon.

I'm big and scary.

I'm covered in scales,

I am not hairy.

I've got a poisonous tongue,

And a terrible bite.

I kill animals in the dead of the night.

And I'm also an investment banker.

That's my day job, I'm an investment banker.

My brother is a dentist

Who'll help your sores comma cankers.

But not me, I'm an investment banker.

**The Dolphin**

(*Dolphin screech*)

I'm a dolphin, son.

Here to steal from everyone.

But I steal from the rich and I give to the poor

So I'm actually a little bit better like in lore.

I'm like a Robin Hood out doing ocean good

But I'm stealing from the boats and I always got to gloat

When I get in their cabin and I steal all their food

I always leave a note that's totally rude.

**The Blowfish**

Yo yo yo bitch,

I'm a blowfish.

I start really small and I get really big, bitch.

I'm in the sea,

Sidenote: Dolphin Man,

He comes by me every day and I'm like "Hey yeah."

**The Seagull**

I'm a seagull and I eat trash.

I'm not a supervillain and I don't steal cash.

I'm just a bird.

I poop on your car.

That's the kind of villain that I are.

**The Tiny Jellyfish**

I'm a tiny tiny jellyfish

Like a super super super tiny jellyfish

**Zach**

How small?

**The Tiny Jellyfish and Zach**

Super super super tiny jellyfish

I'm like a super super super tiny jellyfish

**The Tiny Jellyfish**

I'm smaller than your thumb

If you cut it in one.

And you cut it in two

You're still not at me, dude.

If you cut it in four

You're getting closer to the score.

You cut it in eight,

Yeah you're doing great.

I'm a tiny tiny jellyfish,

I'm stinging your legs.

And you're like: "Ow, did I just get stung?" for days

And I'm like: "Yes I'm in the sea and I'm making you sad"

Because I sting and I hurt and it hurts real bad.

**Bunny**

Yo yo yo like what's so funny?

I'm a little tiny grey fluffy bunny.

But when I get mad,

Like yo, look out.

I'm coming for your mom,

I'm coming for your aunt, yeah!

**The Naked Mole-Rat**

I'm Naked Mole-Rat and I'm on the street.

I only do one crime and my crime is to streak.

Throw off all my clothes in public spaces.

Shock on the children and the women, men's faces.

**All**

Yo we're animals, but we're villainous!

We're animals, but we're villainous!

Yo you try to get up, yo, you should not trust,

Because we're animals, but we're villainous!

**Jess (spoken)**

*Some of them were just doing their natural animal things.*

**Robin Lord Taylor (spoken**

*They pretty much were.*