The Great Peebus War

**The Before Times**

The Before Times were incredibly peaceful with only a few small wars to break up the monotony of innovation. Many great advancements were made in this period, such as the invention of smartphones and other wireless devices, however, this period was to be incredibly short lived, as you will soon see...

On a cold September day, 170,000,000 BP, Peebus is born, the AP period begins.

**Peebus’ Birth**

Peebus is an entity composed of a substance known as Cancer, which is a concentration of negative chromosomes that bond together and corrupt whatever they come in contact with, the exact nature of Peebus' birth is unclear, but it involves some dumbass putting the suit on for no apparent reason.

Once he had materialized, Peebus began to absorb neighboring realms, transforming their inhabitants into Lycra people and drafting them into his own personal army. Although most of the Lycras were incredibly stupid and slow, a select few showed signs of higher cognitive thinking, although it paled in comparison to Peebus' greatness.

In 17,000 AP [After Peebus] Peebus vored Snake World, this angered the snake god, Orochimaru and he immediately began to bolster a force against Peebus. As Orochimaru was collecting Snake World refugees another force prepared to mount an attack on Peebus, The Sapients, fearing their destruction, armed their nuclear warheads and banded together to help the Snake army.

Peebus was bolstering a force of his own at the same time.

He had gathered some of the sacred timeline's most heinous offenders, The Real Guy Fieri, Pelvic Sorcerer, Anus Wizard, The Box Lord, a clone of Joseph Stalin, and Yamete [a being of incredible power who can watch Boku no Pico without projectile vomiting into the next galaxy]

As the Gods watched on in fear, The Great Peebus War began...

**Manuel Noriega**

It is at this moment that we need to discuss Manuel Noriega's involvement in The Great Peebus War. Manuel was worried that his country may come under attack if Earth 177 were to be defeated and brokered a deal with the being in secret. I'll infect people with your virus if you spare me, and infect he did. Mr. Noriega sent contaminated warheads to the U.S. forces in an attempt to infect them and cripple the planet's defenses. But the U.S. soldiers were immune to the infection due to their prior vaccinations, you see, it was around this time that the Anti Peebus suit was discovered, where the Peebus suit was made of Autism and could not be removed, dooming it's host for eternity; The Anti Peebus suit was the exact opposite, it could be removed at any time and was comprised entirely of positive chromosomes. Naturally they were attracted to each other's presence.

After the war was finished, a Peebus Cell Infection took hold of his brain.

With Manuel's plan foiled, all hope rested on the shoulders of the Great Snake army and the other Sapient colonies.

**The Great Peebus War**

It is now 16,789 AP, Peebus is now aware of his brother's existence and sets out to defeat him. In 123,000 AP, Peebus establishes the Stale Meme Factory, which is capable of harvesting stale memes to convert into pure Autism. For the next 10,000 years war rages on, many realms fall before the two beings as they attempt to one-up each other like kindergartners at a playground. Many more sides would join the war efforts during this time as well, The Anteaters, known for their potent anti-semitism and introvertedness, had been personally threatened by Peebus via Omegle and ultimately joined the U.S/Snake Alliance, despite their political grievances. Joining the Order of Chaos were the Corn People, another group fearful of their realm being devoured. Some chose not to fight entirely, such as the people of Pine Lake, who chose a pacifist role as they wanted no involvement in the war. The time is now 2,340,021 AP, Peebus begins to absorb the Autism produced by The Stale Meme Factory and Travels to Realm 71788 [Endless Sea of Semen] to create a new species, The Jaison…

What exactly happened in Realm 71788 is still a mystery, but we know that it was incredibly steamy…

In 2,345,456 The U.S/Snake/Anteater Alliance launched an attack on the Stale Meme Factory, shutting it down permanently and cutting off Peebus's only way to go Super Saiyan.

By 2,348,983 AP, Peebus is severely The Weeknd with most of his forces having either left or been defeated. He vows to stage one final push by 2,350,871 AP and push he does. He gathers the last of his lieutenants and attempts to challenge the U.S/Snake/Anteater alliance once final time. Box Lord is defeated after he is thrown into a lake, nullifying the strength of his box powers. Pelvic Sorcerer and Anus Wizard were nominated for the Dr. Phil show, on which they were viciously beaten by Dr. Phil's stand Jefferson Airplane, in front of a live audience. The Real Guy Fieri imploded after being fed a McRib, and Yamete ripped his eyes out after watching the Stardust Crusaders Opening. The clone of Joseph Stalin was never found, it is assumed he deserted the Peebus army.

With his lieutenants defeated and army nonexistent, a severely weakened Peebus finally confronts his brother and challenges him to an Epic Rap Battle.

Peebus was no match for Anti Peebus's absolute fire rapping skills, every word that spilled from the yellow man's mouth sent shockwaves throughout the universe itself. Peebus took it like a champ though, each shockwave only nudged him but it was enough so that Anti Peebus managed to double spin kick his face.

One day later 2,350,872 AP, Peebus is imprisoned in The White Space, AB [After Banishment] begins..