Pro of Cons

## Summary

The crew is sent deep into Alliance space to pull off a high-stakes con. Pleck makes a speech. C-53 puts his new digits to work. Bargie lands a gig.

## Plot

Dar is helping Bargie film a submission for the show "Switching Ships," Pleck wanders into shot to ask what they're doing. In the show two ships swap their crews to attempt to improve the interior of the ship. They receive a call from Nermut, he is excited to show off his new hip office. Nermut is annoyed when they start calling him MOM (missions operations manager).

Their mission from Seesu Gundu is an infiltration mission. They need fly deep into Federated Alliance space to steal a valuable item. They will be accompanied by the con artist Tresedora Lonlée. While Nermut tries to work out where they'll be meeting her she suddenly appears before them, Bargie then remembers to tell them that there is someone else on board. She's been onboard for three days disguised as a steam coupling. Nermut flirts awkwardly with Dar, signing off when he gets flustered. Tres asks if they have ever pulled a con before, Bargie shares that she once conned the famous Holo Director Spaceship Speilship into falling in love with her. They were together for 14 years. The crew is unsure about whether that's a con or not. Pleck asks if C-53 has ever pulled off a con. C-53 regrets that his current frame doesn't have the dexterity of his old one, his current fingers are permanently sticky. C-53 role in the con will be "Sticky Fingers." Dar's most famous con involved 11 other people. Dar was the only one captured. Tres plays *Marry, Juck, Kill* with Dar, naming Pleck, C-53 and Bargie. Dar Marries C-53, Jucks Bargie, and Kills Pleck. Bargie's turn is next and names celebrities Banan Foransic, Jordan B'Korkan, and Gork the Sork. The crew find these options much harder to choose from. Tres asks if marrying includes jucking, the decided that it doesn't. On Dar's planet you marry someone that you spend the rest of your life with but only juck other people. Pleck asks if *Marry, Juck, Kill* originated on their planet, Dar thinks so. Tres went to an academy for cons, UCON. Bargie asks to go into sleep mode. Tres gives C-53 and Pleck a rope, knots it and tells them to grab each other's hands, they have to unknot the rope without letting go of each other's hands. C-53's small helper arm comes out and unknots the rope, leaving the rope knotted around Pleck's hands. Tres brings Dar over and tells them to grab Pleck's hands and also try to unknot the rope. Dar asks if they can break Pleck's arms, Pleck begs them not to. They slice the rope with one of their chest talons. Tres then gets them all to shut their eyes. She tells them to imagine the ship is crashing, Bargie immediately panics before the crew assures her that it's just a hypothetical. There is an escape pod that fits two people, they have to point at who they would take. They open their eyes and discover that everyone has picked C-53. Tres announces they are ready to con. They are conning Connee and Mark. Pleck figures something out, much to the amazement of the crew.

Ad Break: The governor of Milsch reads sponsor copy for the podcast Nerdificent.

Tres asks if everyone knows the rules, Pleck and Dar ask for a recap. Dar is "Back," Pleck is "On the Up," Tres is"'Master of Disguise." A C.L.I.N.T orders them down on the ground and ask what brings them to Gemino. Tres tells the C.L.I.N.T that they were invited to the birthday party and that they are old friends. C.L.I.N.T-0521 sounds sarcastic when asking if they are old friends but is sincere in their question. They ask how many C.L.I.N.T there are at the party and if he could draw a map of where they all are on Dar's back. He draws the location of all 500 C.L.I.N.T, messing it up slightly to massage out a knot in Dar's back. He ushers them into the party, they meet Tyrell who welcomes them to the party of the Patsy twins; Connee and Mark. He introduces his conjoined twin brother Tyrrak, everyone on Gemino are twins. Connee and Mark begin their welcome speech. There is a tradition of leaving your most valuable safe open on your birthday to allow guests to peruse your jewels and wealth as a show of trust. It feels like a set up to C-53 and Dar. Connee and Mark say it isn't a setup. Another party custom is that the most pink attendee gets to say a speech. They are introduced to Tyrone and discover that Tyrell and Tyrrak are triplets. They are from the planet Triplo and snuck onto Gemino where triplets aren't allowed. They push Pleck onto the stage assuming that even his worst job will distract the party for 5-10 minutes. Tres and C-53 consult Dar's back map to work out where to go. C-53 trails his sticky hands on the walls so they know where they've been. They run into a C.L.I.N.T. and confuse them by telling them to get on the ground and asking for their FAIC. The C.L.I.N.T. complies and then leaves, annoyed at the inconvenience.

Meanwhile Connee and Mark are praising Pleck for his speech. They are laughing about the fact that it would be very easy to break into their party.

Dar walks into the vault, Tres tells them to get out of the vault as they are there to steal the birthday cake.

Connee and Mark take Pleck back to their personal table behind the stage. They discuss the content of their vault, mostly conflict diamonds and the checks from their Federated Alliance assassination job.

Tres is carrying everything in some luggage, Dar and C-53 didn't realise that she had luggage. They run into more C.L.I.N.T.s and confuse them using a similar tactic, they all fall asleep when Dar tells them to fall asleep. They argue about who is the best at sleeping in their sleep.

Pleck struggles to make small talk with Connee and Mark, he makes up a fake twin for himself called Teck. When he stumbles over the name (Teck, or Fleck?) they become suspicious that he may be a triplet. He confesses that he's an only child, they decide to kill him for that fact.

Tres, Dar and C-53 are debating about how to get Pleck out as he was suppose to be on the up but he's in deep. Pleck requests to be killed slowly. Dar bangs on the glass and yells for Pleck to look up. Dar falls through the ceiling and lands on Connee, flattening her. They then flatten Mark and berate Pleck for not being up. They all escape. Tres takes the cake and attempts to leave. The crew questions why the Rebellion needs cake. Tres tells them that the most important things about friendship is secrets. There is movement from the cake and then the luggage unzips to reveal a person. Its Tres best friend, the crew ask for an explanation. Tres was conning them, the mission was actually a rescue mission for her best friend. The crew feels betrayed. She tells them to close their eyes, when they do she runs away. All Dar wanted to know was why her best friend was in the cake.

Li'l Boop Boop comes to pick them up, Bargie's application for "Switching Ships" was successful. She is made of wood which makes the crew instantly dubious of her. She drops down a string for them to climb up

Li'l Boop Boop is very small inside and filled with rocking chairs. Li'l Boop Boop does her yodel, in it she reveals that she sometimes catches on fire. Pleck is immediately alarmed and ask how often that happens, she's lost count. Nermut calls to tell them that Tres is not who she says she is. They tell him that they got conned. He asks about the wood panelling, Pleck asks if he can send a pickup.

Bargie is full of wooden boys. She ejects them all into space.

## Quotes

"[Singsong] Secrets are no fun if you don't tell anyone." - Dar

"Beano finally feels seen." - Beano

## Trivia

* Shows: "Switching Ships," "Ship Flippers."
* Rebellion headquarters has Bibipong tables.
* Rules of Conning:

1. If you're not already conning, you're getting conned.

1. Everyone's involved in the con.
2. If you're worrying about other people's con, keep your eyes on your own con.
3. It's not going to work if we're not friends. The first three rules were a con.
4. Walk like you should have luggage.
5. I lied about the number of rules

## Credits

### **Voice actors**

C-53 - Jeremy Bent

Pleck Decksetter - Alden Ford

Dar - Allie Kokesh

Nermut Bundaloy and The Triplo Triplets - Seth Lind

Bargarean Jade, Connee, and Li'l Boop Boop - Moujan Zolfaghari

Mark, C.L.I.N.T., and Beano - Winston Noel

Tresedora Lonlée - Nicole Drespel

### **Production**

Edited - Seth Lind

Recorded - Shane O'Connell

Sound Design and Mix - Shane O'Connell

Music - Brendan Ryan

Additional Music - Shane O'Connell

Opening Crawl Narration - Jeremy Crutchley

Ship Design - Eric Geusz