Songs

The people of The Accord have many traditional songs as well as new songs and commercials that play regularly on the show.

## The Bonepatch Rag

A traditional song celebrating life in The Bonepatch.

Oh, we're glad that you came by.
Out here in the Bonepatch
where the birds peck out your eyes.
This big ol' sandy Bonepatch
underneath the clear blue sky
Our windswept, dusty, rusty desert home.
they will feed you to their young.
The birds above the desert
swoop in and eat your tongue.
And the worms inside the desert
will burrow into your lungs
 Oh, my brother Armond
was a serpent did him in.
And my auntie Diamond,
o, she lost all of her skin.
Worst was papa Richmond
he was torn limb from limb
and we all had to watch him flop about.
It's as wide as it is dry.
Right here in the Bonepatch,
this is where we're going to die,
lying in the Bonepatch,
staring up at the sky
with all the desert critters by our side.

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## Bunny, Stash the Stash

A traditional song about Stashball.

Everyone waiting for their side to win.
The knives are all sharpened; the blades for their foes,
Sometimes you get knifed, but that’s how it goes.
The blockers are running with passers behind,
Defenders are running to hold up the line.
The bunny is racing the stash at their chest,
The stash will soon be inside our nest!
we love stashball with all of our hearts!
Stashball- our nations great game
Stashball- the game we acclaim
The bunny is stashing
The knifers are slashing
Stashball game!

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## The Darkstorm Song

A song written by J. Wilma Flatly, who witnessed a Darkstorm and thought the world was ending, so she quickly composed this song.

I guess the time has come
for us to say goodbye.
A black Darkstorm above
has eaten up the sky.
A look into the end
has opened up my eyes.
And since the end is here,
no reasons left to cry.
I looked up to the sun
but now it's gone away.
I wonder what we've done
to end up in this place.
Shadows lean over us
and we are left in shade.
This is our final hour,
 CHORUS 1:
And if this is the end
I'd like to stand with you.
And if I was your friend
let us have been true.
And if this is the end
I'd like to stand with you.
And if I was your friend
let us have been true.
And if this is the end
I'd love to stand with you.
Right here, right at the end,
nothing but us two.

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## The Dead Feel No Pain

An End Day Carol vaguely remembering the calamity that destroyed civilization.

The sky was clear and undisturbed.
The people lay below.
The heavens burst with shining light
with fire that came aglow.
The screams of children lifted up
with pain we'll never know.

O the dead, they feel no pain.

The people they had naught to eat.
The bodies stood in piles.
They pulled their hair and wondered if
this life could be worthwhile.
So many fell, but some still stood,
that's why we wear these smiles.

O the dead, they feel no pain.

CHORUS:
The dead feel no pain.
The dead feel no pain.
Come the sunshine, come the rain,
no, the dead they feel no pain.
They muttered for their grief to end
but mercy's ears were deaf.
With naught but wits and guile did they
escape impending death.
No food, no drink, no homes, no light
and still they drew in breath.

O, the dead they feel no pain

Our mortal flesh, it slowly wilts.
We sink into our graves.
We walk the earth a few short years
as death below us waves.
And if we are all doomed to die
then let's live anyways.

O the dead, they feel no pain.

CHORUS:
The dead feel no pain.
The dead feel no pain.
Come the sunshine, come the rain,
no, the dead they feel no pain.

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## Everything is Fine in Leslie

A song extolling the virtues of the Caste System in the village of Leslie.

She washes pretty clothes in a
stream all alone.
Her fingers dance with
waves of taupe and gold.
Just a bland girl from the
bland south side
In a perfect place to enjoy
the simple life.
He sips sweet tea from a
cold green glass,
His violet fingers cooled by
the pigment plant.
A set of crimson wind chimes
sway rhythmically.
A Chrome rests sweetly
in his own society.
Some folk must dance and the
rest must labour
in tidy lines all
set by their nature.
We have paint and dye and stain
in perfect lines
and we all know that we're
 CHORUS 1:
In Leslie
Beautiful colouring.
In Leslie
A place for everything.
In Leslie
Everything is just fine.
In Leslie
You have yours and I have mine.
In Leslie
We won't be outdone.
In Leslie
The rules help everyone.
In Leslie (in Leslie)
Everything is just fine.
In Leslie (in Leslie)
You have yours and I have mine.
In Leslie (in Leslie)
Some will rest and some will sweat.
In Leslie (in Leslie)
Beautiful, separate.
In Leslie (in Leslie)
Everything is just fine.
In Leslie (in Leslie)
You have yours and I have mine.

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## Jenny Williams the Wee Girl of Bandolier

A song immortalizing Jenny Williams, a young girl who suggested that the people of The Accord drink their own urine during a drought. This led to the construction of the Drinking Source Tower.

The green's turned to brown
A terrible drought brought their
crops to the ground
In times the worst
They needed a hand to help
undo the curse
Jenny!
 A tiny young lass
No taller than grass
Her mind it is sharp, it is quick,
and it's fast
save us from drought!"
They knew that her mind
was beyond any doubt
Jenny!
 Jenny saw the land dry.
It couldn't grow rye.
Or even give tears
for the village to cry.
No greater than trickle
The townfolk had found themself
in quite a pickle.
Jenny!
 "I'll answer your plea.
Just listen to me.
We'll all have a drink
if we drink our own pee!"
Our troubles are passed!
Let's raise up a glass
to the wee little lass!
The little wee girl of Bandolier
Jenny! Jenny!
The little wee girl of Bandolier
Jenny! Jenny!
The little wee girl of Bandolier
Jenny! Jenny!
The little wee girl of Bandolier

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## JP Welder Theme

A commercial song advertising JP Welder's boulder-moving business.

he's not a welder.
He moves boulders.
Don't ask him to weld.
He's got no blowtorch.
We don't care.
 His name is JP.
We all love him
for his boulder moving
expertise.
for your boulder
moving needs.
Boulders.

When he left boulder-moving, JP Welder had to change his jingle.

he done moved boulders.
Now he's a welder,
so ask him to weld.
he's got a blowtorch,
making metal stick
 Moving boulders, it's all behind him,
boulder moving in his dreams.
Never moving boulders again, no.
Never, ever moving boulders again.
welding needs.
Welding.

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## Sinn Yu Changed for Good

This song tells the story of Sinn Yu, a horrible bandit and founder of the Jet Pack Cops.

Listen, you children,
hear you my words.
The fire ain't out of us yet.
We sing and we dance
and sometimes we cry,
but we do not forget.
Then came one darkened summer's night.
Sinn Yu was walking alone.
A clap it rung out and he howled with a shout
as fire it burned in his bones.
You see, he was hit by a thunderbolt
that fell right out of the sky
His black heart burned and his soul it was stirred
 VERSE 1:
These lands were walked by a monster.
There was nothing that no one could do.
There was blood on his hands as he tore up the lands
calling, "I am the villain Sinn Yu!"
He killed a man for a water jug,
a water jug made out of clay.
He looted and burned and all of us learned
to get the hell out of his way.
He crawled for days on his hands and knees
to a cave that was so jet black.
He put up a light and he saw with a fright
there were twelve shining jet packs.
He gathered good folk in his service
to he help out all that they could.
There's nothing can stop our bold jet pack cops.
 CHORUS 2

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## Vasco Weapons

Vasco has a series of advertisements for their weapons, using the same jingle.

### CROSSBOWS

You wake up in the morning,
tired down to your marrow.
You walk across that living room
and grab yourself an arrow.
Vasco Crossbows,
 SUNG:
My crossbow is my best friend.
My crossbow is my wife.
I take it out in the street
and take a man's life.
Vasco Crossbows,
the perfect choice.

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### BENDY KNIFE

New from Vasco, the weapon of tomorrow!
 SPOKEN:
We all know what a knife is.
We've all seen one.
But have you seen one bend?
 SPOKEN:
Only from Vasco, the Bendy Knife,
the only blade flexible enough to
cut around corners.
 SPOKEN:
The shortest distance between two
points is a straight line, unless
there's a rib in the way. Why hack
through when you can cut around?
 SPOKEN:
The Bendy Knife will be available
at all Vasco retailers: Oldenburg,
Bill's Pit, Leslie and Bandolier.
Bendy, bendy, bendy,
bendy, bendy, bendy,
knife!

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