Batte S. Casey

2nd Governor of Cargo Shipping

**te S. Casey** was a member of the Libertarian Party and was a candidate in the 2016/17 Groupy McGroupface Presidential Elections, the 2017/18 Groupy McGroupface Presidential Elections, and the 2018/19 Groupy McGroupface Presidential Elections. He was known as an eccentric perennial candidate, famous for his promises to legalize marijuana.

Casey was killed in a missile blast off the coast of Penguin Club after an attempted kidnapping of fellow presidential candidate Johnny Appleseed.

## Early Life

Batte was born in midwestern Groupy McGroupface in the state of Cargo Shipping. Doctors were stunned as soon as he came out, as it had appeared that he grew a mustache while in the womb. Casey claimed that he has never shaven the mustache. When asked about the matter he said, "What's shaving?" Many have said over the years that they have seen Casey purposefully licking shaving cream, but there's no solid evidence to back up the claim.

Casey's mother was nicknamed **"Butterfingers Bertha"** as she dropped her children routinely. Casey has 17 known siblings, none of which he remembers meeting.

## Political Career

### **Cargo Shipping Governors Race**

Casey made headlines by being the first known homeless man to run for public office in the 2015 Cargo Shipping Governors Race. Casey never campaigned, only submitting his name onto the ballot. However, the media continuously reported on him despite the fact, and Casey's polling numbers surged. Casey had left his house\* twice throughout the entire race. He came back with plastic bags of green leaves, which he claimed to be vegetables for an enchilada he was making later. Casey won the race with 51% of votes going towards him, 47% going to the incumbent Democrat, and 2% going for "Deez Nuts," who has ran in every single election (excluding Presidential) in Groupy McGroupface history. Casey was sworn in as governor later that year.

### **First Term (2015-2016)**

Casey's aides pressured the new Governor to legalize marijuana, which Casey did with no hesitation on his first full day of office. Aides believed that if enough voters smoked the drug, Casey would be re-elected in 2016. After the law was signed by Casey, unemployment rates in the state rose to 45%, with many employers blaming Casey's new law. This was good news for Casey and his re-election bid, as that meant nearly half of the state would likely vote for him again. Casey didn't sign anything else while in office.

### **Re-election Bid**

Casey ran for re-election in early 2016. Walter White, a citizen of Cargo Shipping with no prior political experience, ran for the Democratic Party. White's numbers were surging, with 53% of voters polling in his favor. However, the smell of smoke in the polling centers caused many Democratic voters to turn back. Casey won the race with only 45% of the population voting. White then went on to compete on Celebrity Big Brother.

### **Second Term (2016-2017)**

Casey attempted to pass a bill that would give all citizens of his state ponies in his second term. The bill failed repeatedly until Casey threatened to secede from the group chat until the bill passed. The State Senate, thinking he was bluffing, refused to pass the bill. It wasn't until Casey was halfway through finding out how to sign his name on a piece of paper that the Senate passed the bill. Free ponies were given to each member of Cargo Shipping, depleting the state economy. Cargo Shipping is still millions of dollars in debt to Pony Party LLC.

### **Presidential Run (2016/17)**

#### **Libertarian Primaries (2016)**

Casey announced that he was running for President in 2016/17. Casey promised to do what he did in Cargo Shipping on the national level. However, learning from his mistakes, he promised to invade Penguin Club for ponies instead of purchasing them from Pony Party LLC. again. Casey won the Libertarian Nomination against his competitors, Zoltan Itsvan, Bill Wald and the Doctor.

#### **General Election (2017)**

Casey advanced to the General Election, facing Frank Underwood, Alexander Hamilton, Sherlock Holmes. Hugo S. Catman, the Doctor, Paul Atishon-Wimperson, Caroline Lucas, and Napoleon. Casey repeated his promises from the primaries, stating the he would legalize marijuana and give ponies to all. Casey eventually lost to Frank Underwood, but earned 90 electoral votes in the process.

Casey, believing he had actually won, flew in on helicopter to Underwood's Inauguration and claimed that it was actually his inauguration. Casey was promptly taken down by the Secret Service and arrested. He was later released. It is unclear if Casey still believes if he is the President or not.

### **Impeachment**

While Casey was in prison, the State Senate of Cargo Shipping impeached Casey from office, with a vote of 100-0. Casey was immediately removed from office.

### **Senate Run**

After President Frank Underwood chose Chris Murphy to serve as Secretary of Homeland Security in 2017, a special election was announced for his Senate seat in Cargo Shipping. Casey won the race, despite the governor of Cargo Shipping comparing him to a, "chimp with a machine gun." Casey became the 2nd Libertarian in the Senate.

### **Senate Term (2017-2019)**

Casey's first action as Senator was to introduce a bill that would give every citizen in the group chat a pony to use as identification. However, the introduction of this bill was overshadowed by an address from President Underwood, and the bill was never voted on.

After Underwood introduced GroupWorks to the Senate, Casey was originally undecided. However, after a meeting with members of the Underwood Administration and and the Democratic Leadership in which Secretary of the Treasury Warren Buffett promised him, fellow Libertarian Hyatt A. Kite, and Cat Party Senators Larry the Cat and Garfield a free dinner at The Lasagna Factory™ he changed his stance to pro-GroupWorks.

### **Second Presidential Run (2017/18)**

With his reputation untarnished following his release from prison and entry into the Senate, Casey ran for president once more in 2017/18.

#### **Libertarian Primaries (2017)**

Casey plunged into the Libertarian primaries with a bang, printing millions of simple posters with simple slogans, such as, "WEED" and "PONIES." In early polling, however, Casey was shown to be trailing nearly all of his competitors, including Zoltan Itsvan, Gary Johnson, Vermin Supreme, Rick Sanchez, and Figel Narage.

The first debate did seemingly nothing to help Casey's chances. After proving to be mentally unstable, opponent Itsvan repeatedly called Batte an idiot.

However, Batte managed a stunning upset victory to repeat as Libertarian Nominee for President. Casey won a whopping 3,000 delegates, topping second place winners Itsvan, Narage, and Sanchez by a margin of 2,000.

#### **General Election (2018)**

In the general election, Casey faced incumbent president Frank Underwood, Reville governor Will Conway, and Baker Street Party candidate Hercule Poirot.

Prior to the first debate, Casey tapped personal friend Larack Tobama to be his running mate.

The debates proved to be quiet for Casey, with most air time being dedicated to Underwood and Conway's frequent battles.

Ultimately, the Casey/Tobama ticket ended in 5th place.

#### **2017/18 Election Aftermath**

Similar to the 2016/17 race, Casey refused to accept the final result of an Underwood victory. In retaliation for what he viewed to be a rigged election, Casey gathered Tobama and a small Libertarian militia to storm a National Park office and claim the federal land as their own. However, as the night progressed and news of the occupation spread, a bomb was dropped on the park offices, instantly killing Tobama. Casey, distraught, eventually conceded the race.

### **Third Presidential Run (2018/19)**

#### **Libertarian Primaries (2018)**

As expected, Casey ran once again in the 2018/19 race. Casey resorted to his usual debate tactics, calling Vermin Supreme a white supremacist and claiming opponent Lord Buckethead was a Martian spy.

In a stunning result, Casey failed to clinch the Libertarian nomination after doing so for two years straight. Casey soon disappeared, with many assuming he would never be seen again.

#### **General Election (2019)**

It later became evident, however, that Casey had no intention of giving up. Unfazed by his shocking primary loss, he recruited fellow Libertarian defector Grub to be his new running mate, subbing for the deceased Larack Tobama.

Despite being shut out of the presidential debates, Casey continued to use his platform to show that the Libertarian primaries were rigged against him. In lieu of policy ideas, Casey sought to tear down Libertarian nominee Ron Swanson.

In another stunning result, Casey placed above Swanson in the final results, showing an immediate shift back in his favor from Libertarian voters. He placed 4th overall with a total of 60 electoral votes.

## Post-Political Career and Death

Unsatisfied by his 4th place finish in the 2018/19 elections, Casey pulled yet another publicity stunt after refusing to concede.

Journalists took quick note of the sudden absence of three key figures in the election: Casey, Grub, and Green Party nominee Johnny Appleseed.

Casey soon announced a press conference at a remote dock on the coast of Groupy McGroupface, nearby the border of Penguin Club. Casey revealed that he and Grub had taken Appleseed hostage and refused to release him until the results of the election were overturned. A shocked press corp watched as the duo escorted a handcuffed Appleseed onto a moderate sized yacht, likely illegally purchased using campaign funds.

The yacht soon set sail, with Casey declaring that they would flee the group chat. However, Appleseed, using his superior intellect, tricked Casey releasing him of his handcuffs. With his newfound freedom, Appleseed slapped the cuffs onto Casey's wrist and the railing of the ship. Grub, who was piloting the ship, immediately came down to free his running mate. However, Appleseed stopped Grub from doing so by engaging in a melee and eventually throwing the running mate overboard.

Without a captain, the yacht began to drift aimlessly into choppy waves. With the boat seemingly doomed, Appleseed set off on a life raft. Casey pleaded for his life, but Appleseed dismissed the final words of Casey in interest of cutting the rope keeping the yacht and life raft together. Appleseed gave a final farewell to a baffled Casey before the raft plunged into the water below. As he did so, the yacht passed a buoy marking the end of Groupy McGroupface naval territory.

Casey, alone and fearing for his life, attempted to free himself of his restraints as he talked to his late friend Larack Tobama. Suddenly, a vision of Tobama reassured Casey as the situation grew desperate.

Beginning to shed tears, Casey asked Tobama if he thought they'd be remembered. Tobama gently answered in the affirmative, causing Casey to grow a faint smile on his face as a missile plunged into the hull of the ship, killing him instantly.

## Personal Life

Casey had a complicated relationship with his wife, who is unnamed. Casey's wife filed for divorce as early as 2014, but Casey never signed the papers before his death. Casey's wife repeatedly showed up at debates, yelling things such as, "WOOOOO! POT!"

Casey currently has no known offspring, which is probably best for society.