Top Tags

Most Tags get around 10 crits at best. Particularly successful ones reach over 20. Many a Tagger's best Tag of all time can well reach above 50, even 100 crits. However, these Tags are different. These are the ultimate Tags. The true testaments to creativity and prestige on TF2Tags. Likewise, the other side of the spectrum hosts the absolute tagging *abominations* that rightfully deserve their places in the garbage pile of TF2Tags infamy. These twenty tags, the ten best and worst, remain in the thoughts and minds of all Taggers to this day.

Note: The earliest date for these tags is April 1st, 2011. Since it is extremely unlikely that over 1000 tags were made in a single day, it can reasonably be concluded that Dos's updating of the item base with April Fools items affected the post dates of each item.

## The Best

### "Oh God What Is This"

Crits: 2015

Date: Pre-April 1st, 2011

Here it is. The big one. The BIGGEST one. The greatest Tag of all time. No one knows what failed fireman posted this piece of art, but whoever he is, he ranks among the greatest Taggers of all time. "Oh God What Is This" is one of the oldest Tags on the site, and due to its ranking it has often spawned many similar jokes, qualifying it as a site meme. Despite this, none have been able to capture the magic of the original. Legend has it, so epic was this tag that Dr. Dos himself had to freeze its score at 2015 to prevent it from engulfing the site in flame.

### "Desert Marauder"

Crits: 1655

Date: July 26th, 2011

The second-most critted Tag of all time is a simple joke at the expense of an entire world religion and airport security. Amazingly, this tag only needed a description to reach the heights that it did. Many consider this tag to be the true greatest tag of TF2Tags for its more clever joke and inability to be replicated as a meme, and in a way the numbers agree. This tag only has 50 misses, where as its superior had almost quadruple that, resulting in not only a crit-to-miss ratio that is about 3 times as large, but the highest ratio of the top ten greatest tags.

### "The Second Amendment"

Crits: 1036

Date: Pre-April 1st, 2011

The oldest tag on this page, as well as the highest-rated weapon tag on the site, "The Second Amendment" is a classic pun on the right of all Americans to keep and bare arms, including bear arms (much to the shock of the Tagger who made it)! Though one may initially find this tag at a disadvantage due to it being centrally American in nature, it stood as the third greatest Tag of all time for many years, with an explanation in the comments for all the non-Americans that look at this tag with a dumb look.

### "I'd make a Demopan joke..."

Crits: 990

Date: October 15th, 2012

One of only two of the top ten tags to have been made by a known Tagger, this tag definitely does not capitalize on one of the most classic of TF2 memes: The Demopan. Anatolebahorel is far too refined to make such a joke, and was merely stating this to the site, and yet for some reason everyone seemed to love it so much that it became the fourth most critted Tag on the site.

### "Malfunctioning Death Ray"

Crits: 924

Date: Pre-April 1st, 2011

The woes of the humble Medic main are known. Never being able to switch to another class because medics win rounds and yet nobody understands this, being constantly targeted because of this fact, and then you have to babysit every single idiot on your team as they SMASH THAT E KEY for every little paper cut they receive on the battlefield. Sometimes, Medics wish that their large gun of healing power drained the life of its targets instead. Alas, one Medic snapped and believed that this was the case, and in his schizophrenic anger has no idea why his death ray is malfunctioning on the Scout with 124 HP.

### "VLC"

Crits: 876

Date: May 8th, 2011

Most people know of the media-playing app with the striped traffic cone for an icon, but how many people remember its name? That was the goal for this Tagger: remind everyone that its name is VLC. Unfortunately, he forgot to paint the stripe on the traffic cone, so everyone went to a bootleg application instead and got tons of malware. Sad.

### "Firewall"

Crits: 859

Date: Pre-April 1st, 2011

When Engineers started getting attacked by Spies wielding the power of modern electronic warfare,, the Engineer clan took inspiration from their good friends the Pybros in creating a method of defending against the French onslaught. The firewall, it was dubbed, quickly became the prime method for defending against Spyware across the town of Teufort, New Mexico, and eventually the entire world. The Chinese have since made particularly substantial use of it.

### "The Shasahahsnahshanshanshahasnsha"

Crits: 852

Date: July 16th, 2011

Don't lie to yourself: when you first saw this weapon you thought someone fell asleep at their keyboards, and the name of this tag is most likely your first attempt at pronouncing it. This tag demonstrates the collective frustrations of all Snipers everywhere when they first laid eyes upon this cheeky little sword.

### "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!"

Crits: 836

Date: February 21st, 2013

Not only is this the only other tag in the top ten made by a known user, but this is also the most recent tag in the top ten. Not many know that there is actually a story behind this tag. You see, Acquiesce was recently qualified to perform DNA tests, and happened upon a woman arguing with the RED Demoman and his buddy, the RED Soldier. The woman insists that her half-formed son with a single eye in the center of his head was the son of Mr. DeGroot, but he insists otherwise! So Acquiesce, the good man that he is, offers to settle the argument once and for all by putting his newly-acquired skill to good use. The results are clear in this picture he took of the aftermath, where Demo and Soldier share a victorious hi-five when it was revealed to be another one of Spy's many bastard children.

### "One Fort, 2Fort, RED Fort, BLU Fort"

Crits: 787

Date: Pre-April 1st, 2011

2fort. 2 forts. A simple idea, a beloved map. One fort, 2fort. RED Fort, BLU Fort. Some are red, and some are blue. Some players are old, and some are new. It is a tale as old as Team Fortress itself, and one conveniently told within the tenth most critted tag of all time.

## The Worst

You'll notice a running theme with these.

### "inflatable SEX DOLL"

Misses: 431

Date: April 1st, 2012

There are shitposts, and then there are shit posts. Then there are the shittest posts. Then there are the shit that those shit posts take after eating the gassiest food possible in the least-maintained portable toilet in the world. That shit then mutated and vomited out this piece of garbage. "inflatable SEX DOLL" is by far the most hated tag in all of TF2Tags, and rightly so. The only April Fools' Week tag in either top ten, this purple horse is a monstrosity that most wish never existed.

### "Stephano's SWORD"

Misses: 314

Date: April 11th, 2013

Pewdiepie has been the Number 1 YouTuber (T-Series is *not* a YouTuber folks!) for nearly 7 years. Currently, he is a beloved figure on the platform, and a source of many a meme. He follows the dream of any person, where the job he does is whatever he wants. It wasn't always like this, however. Before, he was a slave to the YouTube Algorithm like everyone else, and was the same as every other dime-a-dozen gamer that screams and swears at whatever the latest horror game was. It was during this time when this Tag was made, and Taggers ripped it a complete new one, catapulting it to the second worst tag of all time. To quote a comment from user "i am wood": "You didn't even make the sword the Australium variant, you twat."

### "Rarity's Horse Semen"

Misses: 289

Date: July 8th, 2012

This one is just confusing. It doesn't take a brony (just a little sister) to know that the My Little Pony Rarity is female. Further, she is a pony, not a horse. Therefore, how a female pony was able to produce horse semen is a mystery. What makes this tag so hilarious isn't even the tag itself, it's its comment section. Seriously, read it. Even Dr. Dos himself missed this worthless tag.

### "twilight sparkle"

Misses: 185

Date: October 5th, 2012

Noticing that pattern yet? With a name like "xXkillerMLGpr01337ub3rXx" one could only expect the highest of high-quality tags, and this one is clearly his magnum opus. Too lazy to wait for April Fools' Week, and too ignorant to know the very clear tastes of Taggers, young xXkillerMLGpr01337ub3rXx posted this tag to a cascade of downvotes, landing it a spot as the fourth worst post of all time.

### "sux"

Misses: 183

Date: Pre-April 1st, 2011

Sometimes, you just need to take the simple route. "sux" "h". Four letters, a handful of clicks, and boom, you're the fifth worst tag on the site. Impressive, as it was one of the original 100 tags to have been made on the site. Truly legendary.

### "Pinkie's Cupcake Cooker"

Misses: 170

Date: December 1st, 2012

If it isn't obvious by now, let me nail it into your head.

\*Ahem\*

***TAGGERS.***

***HATE.***

***BRONIES.***

As does any respectable individual.

Everything clear now? Everyone understand?

Good.

### "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO"

Misses: 139

Date: Pre-April 1st, 2011

A tag so bad that it caused a horizontal scroll bar to manifest itself within the tag itself. If this was an attempt at making an lmaobox joke, this Tagger is the proud owner of the most misunderstood tag on the site. Most likely, however, it wasn't.

### "Butthurt Cannon"

Misses: 136

Date: December 7th, 2012

Oh look, *you're* the 8th worst tag on TF2Tags. UMAD? (Who wrote this? I lost an eye.)

### "kurt cobain's microphone "

Misses: 118

Date: December 10th, 2012

Ah yes, a classic site meme. This was not the first Kurt Cobain's Microphone tag, and it was not the last. However, after growing SO sick and SO tired of this same edgy joke, the Taggers of TF2Tags unleashed their wrath upon this tag. Legownz sums up their collective thoughts in his comment on this tag:

"There's being repetitive, there's beating a dead horse, there's criticizing Justin Bieber, there's making MLP posts, there's making dick jokes with the original, there's making arrow in the knee jokes, then at the bottom of this trash heap, there's you and you're overused piece of shit."

### "THe "Burn You Fucking Aliens" Carbine"

Misses: 114

Date: December 10th, 2014

Now this tag, this tag right here. This is art. This is not a joke, this tag is art, and it belongs in a museum. Most people would see this tag, immediately miss it, and move on with their day. And when this was posted, the majority of people did just that. However, this flamethrower is the very first tag made by one of the most beloved Taggers in the history of TF2Tags: A Fucking Idiot. A man who boldly sought to go where no other Tagger had gone before: Negative Hale's Own. A man who went through so many trials and tribulations to achieve his goal, and upon achieving it cemented himself into the pages of tagging history. When you think of this most glorious and beloved man, one need only look back at where the journey of "GuESSinG WhAT IT DOeS!!" started.