Dairy Industrial Complex (S1E21)

Dairy Industrial Complex is the twenty-first episode of the first season of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It aired on March 31, 2020.

## Synopsis

An alarm goes off after Alex tries to open the medicine cabinet in the hospital wing. He hears a loud sound and then chimes that start to get louder and louder. Alex tries to drop to the floor and roll under the nearest bed. However, his index finger and thumb are stuck on the doorknob of the medicine cabinet. Alex grabs his wand and casts the Slippery Jinx. He’s able to unstick himself, but a slimy substance still connects him to the doorknob. He drops and rolls, but not before accidentally smacking his head on the glass pane of the cabinet door. He only manages to get his feet underneath the bed because the slimy substance only lets him go so far. A shadow starts to loom over Alex as he’s on the floor trying to scoot underneath the bed. Madam Pomfrey asks what’s going on. Alex tries to lie, but Madam Pomfrey knows that he was trying to open the medicine cabinet. Alex explains that he wanted to look at the Hair-We-Grow potion. Madam Pomfrey casts a spell to get rid of the slime. She also turns the alarm off. Alex asks to see the Hair-We-Grow potion. She says no. Alex asks if he can go back to his common room. She says that she wants him to stay in the hospital wing since she doesn’t want him walking the halls at night. Alex goes back to bed.

The next day, Sunday, Rosie and Alex arrive at breakfast first. They sit down and start eating and catching up. Alex tells her about setting off an alarm the night before. They also discuss the chocolate coffee bean incident and the aftermath that they’re dealing with. Rosie makes Alex a sausage breakfast taco. They discuss what they’re going to do with the pumpkins that Hagrid is going to give them. Clem arrives at the table. She’s still not feeling well, physically and emotionally. They discuss whether it would be good or bad to have more than one heart. Rosie expresses her wish to be a cow so that she could have three stomachs so that she can eat more snacks. Olive arrives. Rosie gives her a breakfast taco. They tell Olive about Rosie wanting to be a cow. Olive tells them about a type of magic where you can turn into an animal (Animagus). Rosie gets excited, but Olive explains that it’s magic that they can’t do but only adults. Alex argues that he thinks they’re capable of doing it, but Olive explains that she meant it’s illegal for them to do it at their age. Rosie protests that her rights are being tread upon. Clem asks Alex what animal he would want to be. He says a wolf. Rosie asks Clem what animal she would be. Clem says a raven or a whale. Rosie asks Olive what animal she would be. Olive says a fox because they’re orange. Rosie asks if they will lose a piece of their brain if they become animals. Olive says she doesn’t think so, but this might be the reason why only adults can do this kind of magic. Alex says that they can ask Hagrid. He also asks Olive what she wants to do with Hagrid’s pumpkins. Olive suggests making houses out of the pumpkins for their pets, like Moss and Thimble. Rosie remembers that they can cast a spell on the pumpkin to make it bigger. Alex remembers that there’s the Engorgio spell, which is a charm that they would learn in their 4th year. Rosie pushes for using the pumpkins to make snacks. Olive suggests using the pumpkins to make potions, if there are any potions that need pumpkin. Alex suggests bringing the pumpkin to Professor Griffis and asking him if there are any potions that they can make with it while also asking about how to make a hair growth potion. Alex asks where Masie is. Clem suspects that Masie is avoiding her. Clem remembers that she saved Rosie’s candy. Rosie thanks her with a hug. Clem pulls out her Dark Creatures book. Alex volunteers to be her study buddy. Rosie says that the book gives her bad vibes. Clem checks the book and doesn’t see any remaining magic on the book. Rosie reaches into one of her bottom pockets and pulls out her crystals. She starts placing the crystals on the table to counter the bad vibes. Alex asks to read the book after dinner. Olive remembers that there were missing books where they had found the mini horse and wonders who took those books. Clem wonders if it was Scorpius. Alex doubts this because Scorpius helped them. Clem says that Albus seemed to be the one helping and Scorpius seemed to just be going along with him. Clem asks if they should go check the library to see if the books are back or if they’re still missing. Lily and Barney arrive for breakfast. Rosie offers them breakfast tacos. Clem invites them to go to the library with them. Lily hesitates because her snapdragon that they’ve been taking care of for class isn’t doing well. Clem and Alex immediately start to cringe a little bit because their snapdragons aren’t doing well either. Clem says that she let Moss take care of her snapdragon. Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor dormitory, Moss has a leaf in his mouth and the snapdragon’s terra cotta pot is all taped together. Lily worries about her snapdragon, especially because they’ll have to use it to make the hair colour potion. Alex asks Barney about animal magic. Barney talks about Transfiguration and Animagi. Lily chimes in and says that the mum of her family friend, Teddy Lupin, was an Animagus. Olive asks if it’s illegal to do it without registering with the Ministry. Barney isn’t sure. Rosie suddenly worries that if she becomes a cow, she might get milked. Olive explains that she won’t be milked because she wouldn’t produce milk unless she’s having a baby. Alex asks Barney what animal he would be. Barney says he doesn’t know if he wants to become an animal. He worries about getting stuck. Alex says he doesn’t think they can get stuck. Lily says they can. Olive reinforces that this is why only adults can do it. Lily says that her dad’s godfather, Sirius Black, said it was really hard and took about a month to do. Clem accidentally offends Rosie by questioning her animal of choice (cow). Alex wonders if they could trade in Hagrid’s pumpkins for new snapdragons. Rosie thinks that Hagrid might be willing to slip them snapdragons since they’re pals.

They go to the library. Rosie greets Madam Pince a little too loudly. To distract her from SWOFF’s investigation of the missing books, Alex asks Madam Pince about books on Animagi. She directs him to the correct section: the left, third row, two stacks back. He finds books on Transfiguration, such as “The Magistry of the Animagus.” Alex takes the book and brings it to the rest of the book. Rosie stands in a corner, facing the wall. Olive and Clem heads to the corner where the missing books were. They also find a note that says, “Any students caught using spellwork in the library will be severely punished.” Olive picks one up and checks to see who the last person recorded to check out this book was. She sees that there are no cards because books cannot be checked out of this library. Clem takes the registry book and asks Madam Pince about it’s disappearance and reappearance. Madam Pince looks at Clem suspiciously. Clem notices that Madam Pince suspects that she is possibly a troublemaker because this book is on her red flag list. Clem tries to explain that she was trying to research who Harry Potter was. Madam Pince points out that she has the wrong book, since Harry Potter isn’t old enough to be in the 1700s. Clem asks who would check out a book on the 1700s. Madam Pince is deeply offended. Clem rushes off back to Olive. Meanwhile, Alex has stopped halfway across the library, his face in the book. Clem reports back to Olive. Clem wonders whether Madam Pince took the book. Olive looks at Madam Pince suspiciously. Clem wonders if Madam Pince is obsessed with the 1700s. Olive wonders if the ghost students in the Vanished Wing were her classmates. Olive calls Rosie over and asks how old she thinks Madam Pince is. Rosie guesses around 300. Clem checks the registry but doesn’t find Madam Pince’s name. Olive sits next to Alex and looks over her shoulder at the book he’s reading. The book explains how to become an Animagus, but there are a lot of warnings. Clem asks Alex about what he’s reading. He says it’s really involved, but he thinks they can do it. He reads the instructions out loud. Olive and Rosie are put off by the instructions. Clem is still willing to try it with Alex. She hesitates when he reads that they don’t get to choose what animal they become, but still decides that she’d want to try anyway. Clem says she wants to become an expert on Dark Creatures. Alex wonders if Clem’s Animagus would be a Dark Creature. Clem likes this idea.

Rosie tries to lead them to Hagrid’s hut. Olive, the only one who actually knows where Hagrid lives, lets Rosie lead but occasionally guides her. Alex asks what they think Hagrid would be if he was an Animagus. Alex thinks maybe an elephant or wooly mammoth. Clem and Rosie think a bear. Olive says maybe a dog. Clem thinks Rosie might be an unicorn. They list the questions they want to ask Hagrid, which include asking about Animagi, horses with butterfly wings, turning their pumpkins into a house, what animals they would be, what a Patronus is, and about snapdragons. Clem asks if they should show Hagrid the Dark Creatures book. Alex says they should read it first. Olive says that Hagrid is still a professor, and a professor would probably take it away from them. Clem decides not to show Hagrid the book. They approach Hagrid’s hut and see Hagrid outside. Dudley greets them and eats Rosie’s breakfast tacos. Hagrid mentions that Harry said hi to him the other day but that he looked a little sad. Clem asks if it’s because he had a fight with his son. Hagrid looks surprised. Alex asks if they could become Animagi. Hagrid says that it’s hard. Clem asks what animals he thinks they would be, but then Alex asks what a Patronus is. Hagrid explains the Patronus charm, Dementors, and Azkaban to them. Clem asks Hagrid to teach them to do a Patronus. Hagrid says that he’s never been able to cast a Patronus. Alex asks if there are any creatures that are horses with butterfly wings. Hagrid says he doesn’t think so, but there are other kinds of horses like unicorns and thestrals. Clem asks what a thestral is. Hagrid describes them to her. She asks if she can meet one. Hagrid says that she could. Alex asks how forbidden the Forbidden Forest is. Hagrid says it’s very forbidden. Alex asks Hagrid for tips on how to take care of their snapdragons. Hagrid tries to help, but plants aren’t his specialty. Alex asks about the pumpkins and offers to bring Hagrid pumpkin pasties if they end up making them. Clem asks Hagrid if thestrals are dark creatures. Hagrid says maybe. They offer to help take care of Hagrid’s animals. Hagrid says they have to get permission from their parents first. They notice that the pumpkins are huge. Hagrid offers to help them transport the pumpkins. They decide to bring it to the kitchens, cut it up, give some to the kitchens, bring some to Professor Griffis, and cook some of it. Hagrid puts the pumpkin into his wheelbarrow. Clem asks Hagrid if Headmistress McGonagall could give her the permission to help with the animals because she doesn’t think she could get permission from her grandmother because her grandmother doesn’t regularly check the mail and isn’t familiar with owl mail. Hagrid brings the pumpkin into the kitchens. They see a bunch of house elves cooking. One of them, Lottie, who knows Rosie quite well, uses magic to take the pumpkin from Hagrid. Rosie enthusiastically greets Lottie, who is very small, elderly, and frail but the Head of the Kitchens. She has a frilly apron with flour and bits of food on it. Her whole outfit is made of hand-stitched doilies that are 18 different shades of pink and a weird green. Rosie introduces Lottie to the rest of SWOFF. Lottie asks what they’re going to do with the pumpkin. Rosie says that some is for the kitchens and the rest is for them to make pumpkin pie, pumpkin pasties, a pumpkin potion, etc. Alex asks Lottie to carve a chunk of the pumpkin for them to bring to Professor Griffis. Lottie uses magic on a knife to carve a chunk out of the pumpkin. Rosie suggests making pumpkin mash. Lottie agrees, but only if she gets to taste test it first. Rosie and Clem stay to start making the pumpkin mash. Alex and Olive leave to bring the pumpkin chunk to Professor Griffis. Alex thanks Lottie for the food. She asks him about his favorite food. Alex says sausage. She says that she doesn’t make those. He says brownies. She doesn’t make those either. Hagrid and Olive gently usher Alex out the door.

## Cast

### Main Cast

* Wacksteven - Headmaster of Doom
* LuxieGames - Rosalina Earthcloud
* Mirggles - Clementine Goosanders
* Negaoryx - Olive Everglade
* Zcotticus - Alexander Pippin

## Characters

* Rosalina Earthcloud
* Clementine Goosanders
* Olive Everglade
* Alexander Pippin

## Relationships

* Rosalina: +1 Clem
* Clementine: +1 Rosalina
* Olive: +1 Alexander
* Alexander: +1 Olive

## House Points

### Players

* Rosalina: +5 points, rolled 8
* Clementine: +5 points, rolled 7
* Olive: -5 points, rolled 5
* Alexander: +10 points, rolled 11

### Total

* Gryffindor: 345
* Hufflepuff: 210
* Ravenclaw: 260
* Slytherin: 85

\*Note: Two Quidditch games took place between S1E20 and S1E21. The results were added after S1E20 and before S1E21.

## Downtime Moves

* Rosalina: Job (2d6), 11 (Galleons)
* Clementine: Studying (Mind), 10 (success)
* Olive: Job (2d6), 2 (Galleons)
* Alexander: Social Activities (Heart), 6 (fail)

## Quidditch Games

* Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw (Discord)
	+ Gryffindor: 370, caught snitch, Winner
	+ Ravenclaw: 80
* Hufflepuff vs. Slytherin (Discord)
	+ Hufflepuff: 470, caught snitch, Winner
	+ Slytherin: 260

## Quotes

* Alex: Maybe my tummy would rumble when I thought about it. Which is kind of like your tummy crying, really, when you think about it. Rosie: That’s…Wow, Alex, that’s genius. A tummy rumble is like a cry for help. Alex: Yeah.
* Rosie: When I was kid, I wrote in my journal that I wish I could be a cow when I grow up. [...] Alex: Maybe there’s a spell to turn you into a cow. Rosie: I don’t want to sound a little over the top, but that’s all I’ve ever hoped for.
* Olive: That’s a type of magic where you can turn into an animal. I’ve never done it, but I know it exists. Clem: Wait, what? Alex: What? Rosie: [*gasps*] It’s real! I’m gonna be a cow! Alex: Wait, you can turn into an animal? Rosie: MOOOOVE on over, SWOFF! I’M GONNA BE A COW!
* Olive: I didn’t meant that we wouldn’t be capable of doing it. I mean: I think it’s literally illegal, like through the Ministry, illegal. Rosie: How could it be illegal to be a harmless cow? How? Alex: Okay. Rosie: My basic wizard rights are being tread upon. I deserve to be able to be a cow if I want to. Alex: I agree with Rosie.
* Clem: Alex, what animal are you gonna be? Alex: I have only just learned about this, and there’s an awful lot of choices, and I don’t want to rush into making - Rosie: Wise. Clem: Yeah, but what’s the first thing that comes into your three hearts? Alex: A wolf.
* Rosie: I’m just gonna say it: That book’s giving me a bad vibe. I’m saying it. Clem: Really? Rosie: I vibe checked the book, and it gave me a bad vibe. Mirgs: Can I vibe check the book? [*laughter*] Wack: What move would you like to try to use to do something like that?
* Olive: Rosie, you and I went to the library together once. Rosie: Uh huh. And a little horse hit my head? Olive: Yes, um, although, not the part that I wanted to highlight…
* Rosie: I’ve just been struck with a thought. If I become a cow, how do I stop myself from being milked by the wizards and witches? Clem: You would have to be milked! Alex: Um… Olive: No. Rosie: But would I even make cool chocolate milk, or would it be normal milk? Olive: No, no! Clem: I think it would be normal milk. Unless you’re a brown cow, and then you would make chocolate milk. Rosie: Would it be strawberry, at least? Clem: Oh my god, we could make you a pink cow, and then you could make strawberry milk. That’s how it works. Barney: I don’t think that’s how it works. Clem: That’s not how it works? Barney: No. Olive: No! You only milk cows the same time that humans produce milk. As long as you’re not having a baby cow, what would you be producing milk for? Rosie: Well, for fun, I guess! That’s what I was thinking. Clem: I didn’t know. Olive: They don’t do it for fun! Rosie: Well, how am I supposed to know that the chocolate cows are making milk for fun? Clem: Olive, are you telling me that every single cow that’s giving - that all milk comes from cows that are having babies? Olive: That’s exactly what I’m saying. Yes. Clem: But what happens when the cow has the baby? Olive: Okay, um. We’re not going to get into the dairy industrial complex when we’re having a Sunday breakfast! Rosie: But. Clem: But now it feels *really* important. Alex: Right, well, Barney hasn’t told us his animal yet.
* Clem: Rosalina, I feel like if you’re gonna get struck by lightning for this, you should maybe pick an animal that’s like…Well, nevermind. Who am I to say? If you want to be a cow, be a cow. Rosie: Clem, what are you gonna say? Just say it to my face. Do you not think a cow is a good enough animal for me to turn into? Clem: No, I think you’re way better than cows. Of course I think you’re way better than cows! Rosie: You think cows aren’t cool?!? Clem: I think cows are pretty cool, but you’re like one of the coolest things on the planet, so of course you’re not gonna compare to a cow! Rosie: You think I’m cooler than a cow, Clem? Clem: Of course I do! Rosie: That’s very sweet! Clem: It’s not even in the same league! Rosie: They have three stomachs, Clem! Barney: What’s even happening right now? Alex: Just, just go along with it. Clem: Maybe we could just find a way to get you three stomachs without being a cow. Rosie: Fine. That’s fine, I guess, you know, but I still think cows are pretty cool and I’m a little offended that you don’t think that cows are very cool. Clem: Wait, I think cows are cool. Rosie: And you want to be one of the darkness birds that goes CA-CAW for no reason! Clem: Yeah, you’re right, it’s a bit ridiculous, and I said I would workshop it, okay! If we’re gonna be it for the rest of our lives. Rosie: Fine! But I don’t want to be a chocolate cow. Clem: Wait, maybe I should be a CLAM. [*laughs*] Rosie: Clem, that was…Clem, you can’t just insult my animal of choice and make a joke about clams. Clem: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I wasn’t - Rosalina, I’m really sorry. Rosie: It’s fine. Clem: Should I got get your candy now? Rosie: [*shakes head*] Mm-mm.
* Olive: How old does Madam Prince look to you? Rosie: With or without her hateful heart? Olive: I don’t think you can separate the two. Rosie: Very old.
* Alex: Okay, so they say, Blah blah blah, it’s really hard and takes lots of practice and everything, right? Clem: Mhm, yeah. Skip that part! Alex: Skip! Yeah, ignore that part. Clem: Yeah. Alex: We’ll get to it.
* Clem: Wizards, you guys, make things complicated. I just go on eBay and order it.
* Clem: Maybe you’re a butterfly. Rosie: But what noise would I make? Clem: [*sings*] Flutter flutterrr! Rosie: That’s beautiful.
* Clem: I accidentally ruined my relationship with Madam Prince. It’s dead forever. Rosie: It’s not hard to do. She’s very bitter and hurt, and I don’t know who hurt her, but they did it pretty bad. Clem: It must’ve been a child.
* Luxie: The house elf that’s helping us is named Lottie. Wack: Lottie? Okay. Luxie: Yeah, and she helps us a lottie, so we’re really grateful. Mirgs: Ah! You should call this episode Crime and PUNishment. Luxie: Nega was so excited, and then she was so disappointed. Negs: Top 10 anime betrayals. Just that quick turnaround on that pun. I hated it so much. I thought it was so cute. I was like, She sounds like a golden girl, and I love her so much already, and then you took it away from me with a pun. So mad.
* Lottie: I told you already, Rosalina, that you have to be careful with all these new recipes. Rosie: ‘Cause they’re gonna be so delicious that you’ll be addicted, Lottie, is that what’s going to happen? Lottie: Well, there was the incident with the burnt chocolate, and the other incident with the smoking bread, and then the other time with the milk. Rosie: Well, the milk was definitely not my fault. [...] Well, that’s how we learn, right Lottie? Lottie: Mmm…

## Fun Facts

* Helloitskolo was absent for this episode.
* In this episode, Luxie wore a Harry Potter vest that she made.
* Wack gives Rosie a +2 relationship with “Time to Eat”
* Wack describes how hype the Discord Quidditch matches after the previous episode were
* Rosie sold handmade pockets of mash and secretly left the money she made (11 Galleons) for Lottie as a thank you for letting her cook in her kitchen and putting up with her.

## References

1. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=2203
2. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=2371
3. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=2472
4. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=2534
5. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=2570
6. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=3156
7. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=3332
8. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=4091
9. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=4327
10. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=5274
11. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=5407
12. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=5674
13. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=5712
14. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=5826
15. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=8762
16. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=9110
17. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=340
18. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=1900
19. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=9723
20. ↑ https://youtu.be/WcPzBWKRUSI?list=PLreNnYE4Fc5wzfFJSeHEEzmruEAThLfdK&t=10433