recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
The Loser

## Bio

The **Loser** is an extremely unlucky Englishman whose name is unrevealed. Unlucky in life and love, he seems to fumble his way through several jobs and positions.

When he is first seen, he's searching the "Help Wanted" pages at the local library, circling jobs on the page of the newspaper at the local library and distractedly ripping out the page to take with him. During the interview for the job, he seems to annoy his employer (Henry McGee) by mimmicking his behavior with tea and crackers brought by a secretary (Sue Upton).

He does get a job as a postman, but he ends up annoying a housewife (Alison Bell) and a gentleman (Bob Todd) trying to mail a package, but when he tries avoiding a dog, he accidentally climbs a ladder looking into a young lady's (Clare Smalley) and gets caught by her father (Bob Todd) toting a rifle.

He soon gets a job as a sign erector, but his ability to do his job is off. He wrongly identifies a place as a garage as a man (Henry McGee) drives into it, only to reveal seconds later it's a *Garbage* Recycling Plant, and he briefly and erroneously labels a therapist (Jackie Wright) a *rapist*.

He soon gets work as a brush salesman, getting shooed by another busy housewife (Lee Gibson), but he does remarkably well as a bricklayer, despite being skittish when he boss (Bob Todd) wants to drive a stake. With extreme efficiency, he builds an entire wall by himself, but in his zeal, he accidentally encases his boss's lunchbox into it.

Working as a boating attendant, however, it turns out his hearing isn't so good, and when a boater (Henry McGee) asks for an oar, he returns with a "lady of the night" (Louise English) that rhymes with "oar."

Out of money and getting hungry, he tries eating a deserted meal at the local diner, but as it turns out, it isn't as deserted by the dining patron (Henry McGee) as he thinks. He ends up wandering the street and peeking in windows before ending back at the lake. Taking his life with his neck tied to a boulder, he pushes into the water and discovers a lost treasure chest with enough jewels, gold and riches at the bottom of the lake, more than enough to have made him confortable for the rest of his life.

## Trivia

* The other library patrons are Jackie Wright, Henry McGee, Bella Emburg, Roger Finch and Bob Todd.
* The "copy the boss" bit is a remake of the opening sketch from February 24, 1971.
* Jackie Wright's therapist character is named Dr. Drunge in a sign.
* The female pedestrian on the construction site is possibly Louise English.

## Episode(s)

* WonderGran Meets Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde

## Gallery

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Telephone Exchange Operator

## Bio

The **Telephone Exchange Operator** is an unidentified entrprenuer who sometime in 1880 developed a communication system of tubes that allowed his clients to talk to each other over long distances. Especially long distances require contacting other operators in the system. He also gives the time when necessary.

In the system, he communicates with his Vicar over a stolen umbrella (remembering where he left it later) and a local named Godfrey whose employer has a spare room for a golden euphonia. He also connects Mrs. Upturn to Plymouth, a long distance call, battling Arnold, the Plymouth operator along the way.

While working, the operator gets tea from his mother through the system with the milk often returning late. However, when one of his customers, Mrs. Bush, calls about her house being on fire, he improvises and patches her through to Mr. Downs whose house is getting flooded, sending his water to her house to put out the fire.

After linking Mrs. Ladyford and Mr. Potty, the operator has to relay medical advice from the doctor to Mr. Hardcastle, but in the process, he not only takes one sleeping pill but two. This happens just in time before Queen Victoria's birthday wishes, during which he falls asleep.

## Trivia

* The Telephone Exchange Operator was played by Benny Hill. He possibly also covers the voice of Queen Victoria.
* Queen Victoria's birthday was May 24, 1819.

## Gallery

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Stephanie Marrian

**Stephanie Marrian** is a British model, pop star and actress best known as the first Page 3 model in The Sun newspaper in England. Her film appearances include the films "The Crimson Cult" and "The Man Who Couldn't Get Enough." She was also a recurring cast member on "The Cut Price Comedy Show."

Born Stefanie Kahn on October 9, 1948 in Singapore to an Indian father and an English mother, she started acting and modeling in her early Twenties, getting bit parts in the movie "The Crimson Cult" in 1968, the TV series "Callan" in 1970 and 1972 mini-series "The Shadow of the Tower." At 22, she became the first Page 3 model for the The Sun newspaper, appearing on November 17, 1970 as Stephanie Rahn, a typo by a sub editor who misread her name. She later changed her name to Stefanie Marrian, using her mother's name and appearing regularly as the Page 3 girl from 1973 to 1978.

Appearing as a glamour model throughout the 1970s in magazines, papers and calendars world-wide, Marrian was also a member of a short-lived pop group called "Page Three" along with two other Page Three models, Gillian Duxbury and Mona Solomons. Her later roles included the TV series "Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em," "The Hot Girls," "The Man Who Couldn't Get Enough" and "Can I Keep It Up for a Week?" She was reportedly a bit player on "The Benny Hill Show," possibly playing one of the two chamber maids at the end of the "Victorian Scandals" sketch on February 23, 1977 (and possibly the uncredited reporter in Grand Wheelchair Rally), but this is unconfirmed.

Marrian had a long-term relationship with an actor Alan Tucker of "Doctor Who" fame that ultimately ended with a restraining order reported on in the British tabloids. She was also briefly engaged to the music promoter Rod MacSween.

In the early 80s, Marrian had small roles in "The World Is Full of Married Men" and "History of the World: Part I" with Mel Brooks and an uncredited role in "Monty Python's Flying Circus." Her last role was as a bit player in "The Cut-Price Comedy Show."

## Episode(s)

* Villain of the Year (uncredited)
* Friday Night Fever (uncredited)

## Gallery

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The Secret of Planet Seven

## Production

**Episode:** 11

**Date:** December 26, 1962

**Time:** 25:00

**Musical Director:** Ron Grainer

**Vocals:** None

**Choreography:** None

**Producer:** John Street

**Director:** Tony Abbott

**Writer:** Benny Hill and Dave Freeman

## Episode

Astronaut Humphrey Grumby (Benny Hill) is stationed on an experimental observation post on Planet Seven joined by another astronaut (Graham Stark).

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Graham Stark
* Penny Morrell
* Colin Douglas
* Arthur Mullard
* Joe Gibbons
* Coral Morphew
* Valerie Cooney
* Tricia Money
* Gillian Watt
* Caron Gardner
* Valerie Stanton
* Leon Thau

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** Mervyn's Christmas Pudding
* **Next Episode:** The Shooting of Willie The Kid
Nola Haynes

**Nola Haynes** is an English actress, model and dancer who starred as one of the Hill's Angels on "The Benny Hill Show." She appears in the Hill's Angels routines in the March 14, 1979 and April 16, 1980 as well as a blooper quickie on April 25, 1979. Since leaving the show, she starred in the 1987 remake "Suspicion" and an episode of "Jeeves and Wooster" in 1995.

## Episode(s)

* Leprechaun TV
* The Police Raid in Waterloo Station
* Name That Tune
* Big Poppa

## Gallery

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Jimmy Thompson

**James Edward "Jimmy" Thompson** was an English actor, writer and director. He was born October 30, 1925 in Halifax, England and educated at St. Peter’s School in York. As a young man, he began his career in repertory theatre in Yorkshire, later touring with a theatrical company headed by Jean Forbes-Robertson.

After his national service, he moved to London where he starred on stage in the West End. In 1956, he became known as for his impersonation of Liberace, portraying the famous pianist the in the revue, "For Amusement Only," at the Apollo Theatre. Liberace brought a class action suit for the potrayal of his character in the play with Thompson settling out of court, making a donation to the musician's charity.
In 1959, Thompson with his wife, Nina, co-authored and presented at the Lyric Theatre in Hammersmith the musical comedy, "The Quiz Kid." In 1964, he starred in "Monsieur Blaise" at the Royal Court and Phoenix theaters, a play adapted by his wife from the Claude Magnier farce. He also starred in "The Englishman Amused" in 1974 at the Young Vic, another production which again he co-wrote with his wife.

Through his career, Thompson appeared often on British television, making appearances on "The Pickwick Papers," "London Playhouse," "The Scarlet Pimpernel," "Saturday Playhouse," "The Ken Dodd Show" and "Six More Faces of Jim." He was a semi-regular on "Pink and Perky" and also starred in two episodes of "The Benny Hill Show," starring in "The Hitch-hiker" and "Rogue Nudist" sketches on March 11, 1970 and as a pirate and a secretive lover on December 27, 1972. His film appearances included "Carry On Regardless," "Carry On Cruising" and "Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines." His late television appearances include "Lord Tramp," "The Dick Emery Show," "The Chiffy Kids," "George and Mildred" and "Bernie."

Appearing most in theater, he appeared at the Whitehall Theatre in "Spread a Little Happiness," the Vivian Ellis musical in 1992. His directorial credits included directing "Perchance to Dream," "Don’t Misunderstand Me," "My Giddy Aunt," "My Wife Whatsername," "Blithe Spirit" and the original production of "Jeeves Takes Charge." After the death of his wife in 1999, he retired to York where he died on April 21, 2005. He was survived by his two children.

## Episode(s)

* The Sound of Frankenstein
* The Common Market Square Dance

## Gallery

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Robertson Hare

**Robertson Hare** is an English comedic actor best known for the British TV series "All Gas and Gaiters" and the movies "One Wild Oat," and "Banana Ridge." He was born John Robertson Hare on December 17, 1891 in London, England, the son of an accountant, and served with the British Army in France during World War I. After the war, he starred in eleven of the Aldwych farces, a series of twelve stage farces presented at the Aldwych Theatre in London, nearly continuously from 1923 to 1933. All but three of them were written by Ben Travers with Hare becoming famous for his mild-mannered characterizations. These were later successfully transferred from stage to screen with Hare enjoying success on the small screen late in life as Archdeacon Henry Blunt, the lead character of BBC's "All Gas and Gaiters" in 1966.

For most of his career, Hare played old men exaggerated for comedic effect, usually accompanied by his catch-phrase, "Oh calamity..." which he repeated through his career. Among his most successful creations was Willoughby Pink in "Banana Ridge" in 1938 in which he played a British Empire builder with a dubious past. In 1963, he starred in a long-running stage musical, "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" in which he was cast as Erronius to Frankie Howerd's Pseudolus.

In the Sixties, Hare toured in "Arsenic and Old Lace," taking time in 1962 to star with Wilfrid Hyde White in a comedy called "Crooks Anonymous." In 1968, he joined Naunton Wayne in "Oh, Clarence!," an adaptation of a P. G. Wodehouse Blandings novel, before gaining a new audience in "All Gas and Gaiters." In 1969, he was invited to appear on the "The Benny Hill Show" as the befuddled George Podmore for a spoof of "This is Your Life."

Sadly, hare passed away in London at the age of 79 from bronchopneumonia on January 25, 1979. He was survived by his daughter; his wife, Irene, having passed away in 1969 after over fifty years of marriage.
Sir Roland Button

## Bio

**Sir Roland Button** is the chairman and president of an unidentified British charity in London. The charity ends up honoring him with a dinner to celebrate his accomplishment filled with many of the dignitaries and charity donors.

Among the guests, Benny Hill shows up late expecting dinner after missing lunch, but the old timer (Bob Todd) by him informs him that the dinner is over. Luckily, a server (Sue Upton) brings Benny his dinner, but Benny has to find a way to covertly eat it in silence during Button's speech. As the announcer (Jon Jon Keefe) starts, Benny starts clapping and the wad of butter on his utensil flies across the room and hits a young beauty (Lorraine Doyle) in the chest, but she's more appalled by the thought of another attendee (Johnny Hutch) trying to remove it.

During the speech, Benny's growling stomach annoys the grand lady (Anna Dawson) by his side. He tries eating with peas secretly sneaked into his hand, by pretending to drop his fork and lowering his head to his plate and by hiding food in his napkin. Unfortunately, he also ends up pulling strips of napkin from his teeth. When he tries hiding mashed potatoes in his hand again, the old timer reaches across to lite the lady's cigar, getting the mashed potatoes smeared to the underside of his sleeve. Before he can get any further, an attendee takes his plate away from him.

Stuck with just the celery garnish on the table, Benny tries eating a stalk hidden under his arm, but the sound of it annoys the people sitting with him. The celery is also taken away and he gets stuck choking on a rose he mistakenly grabs.

Luckily, the lovely server (Sue Upton) comes to the rescue again with a big piece of cake for him. He again descends to the table again to eat, getting the cherry stuck to his nose and taking a minute to notice it. Another bite leaves marks of the icing on his face, making him look like a circus clown with a mustache. He goes in for several bites on a moment of applause, but the announcer (Jon Jon Keefe) suddenly goes to Benny to give a speech, leaving Benny speaking with a mouth full of cake and bits of it flying from his lips on the surrounding attendees.

## Trivia

* Button is played and voiced by Henry McGee.
* Benny's own name is used to identify him in the sketch.
* After the wad of butter lands on Lorraine's Doyle's chest, Johnny Hutch warms the spoon he hopes to catch it with as Benny did with a spoon on the S.S. Rumpo with Carol Mills.
* Mike Mulloy, Susie Waring and Jenny Drummond(?) play other attendees.
* According to William Brown of "Benny's Place," this sketch was labeled on the DVD as "Dining Etiquette."

## Gallery

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The Underwater World of Jacques Custard (sketch)

## Bio

The **Underworld Water of Jacques Custard** is a French documentary starring French explorer, oceanographer and conservationalist Jacques Custard as he goes in search of endangered and rare species of animals around the world.

In his search, he heads to the Cobalt Sea in search of the forward walking crab and catches footage of the Cobalt fish whose mating season only occurs once a year and lasts for twelves months. Unfortunately, there is no female in the species which makes it very unhappy. There is also the viking fish wears lays eggs four times its size. It is also a very unhappy fish.

In his search for the forward walking crab, Custard is assisted by a native girl (Carmen Dene) acting as a guide. On the boat, she wears a knife on her leg to protect her from the crew (Dan Jackson, unknown and Jackie Wright). Along the way, they pick up a catfish named Kitty, a sea horse named Dobbin and a water otter called a kettle. The girl becomes fond of his mussels and cockles. They also pick up a dogfish and a conger eel. Custard's voice-over says the crew never became distracted from their work, but footage shows them catching the young girl's top and following her along the boat, falling over themselves.

The crew's search meanwhile continues. As many fish in the area are going extinct, they hope two electric eels mate, but one turns out to be AC while the other is DC. They also catch footage of two soles. When crew member Jean-Paul (Jackie Wright) goes into the shark-infested sea, he is told sharks never attack people. Unfortunately, no one told the sharks this fact.

On the last day of the search, Custard finally discovers the forward walking crab, but an investigation reveals a load of rum was dumped into the sea, and it is actually a regular crab forced to walk forward instead of sideways because it is "blind-stinking" drunk.

## Trivia

* Jacques Custard was played by Benny Hill.
* This parody was based on "The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau," a series of specials that aired from 1968 to 1976.
* The gag about the forward walking crab was recycled from the sketch, "Hans and Lotte Hill," Benny had performed for the BBC Light Programme radio series "Benny Hill Time" in 1964.
* The fish descriptions were reused in the March 24, 1976 sketch of Fanny and Johnny Craddock.
* The dog fish is actually stock footage of a moray eel with barking dubbed into it.
* Jackie plays two roles in the sketch. He plays the diver eaten by the shark and still shows up again as a crew member.
* The sketch ends with captions that it was filmed entirely on the Cobalt Sea (as a duck swims next to a model boat) and calling it an Arab-Israeli co-production.

## Episode(s)

* The Underwater World Of Jacques Custard

## Gallery

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The Gold Digger

## Bio

The **Gold Digger** is an unidentified British female con-artist. Not much is known about her past or if she has had any previous husbands.

It seems she meets her potential husbands by chance. When she is interrupted during a phone call in a phone booth, she notices the manservant and limousine of her wealthy benefactor (Benny Hill). She pretends to faint, swooning several times to get him to catch her. The two of them then enter a courtship where she gets several expensive gifts. They eventually marry with the woman quickly pushing her husband to overeat, drink heavily and smoke heavily while pushing him to the boundaries of human endurance. She slips him Scotch instead of water, she has him take her dog for long walks, they engage in physical activities often and she makes huge meals for him with the manservant's help. She also has the manservant teach him tennis, keeping him physically exhausted. After a long tennis bout and an extra dose of scotch, her husband finally gives out and dies. It soon becomes obvious the manservant has been colluding with her the whole time and after they marry, he begins the same old regime on her.

## Trivia

* The Gold Digger was played by Faye Hillier.
* The mansion in the sketch is the Beach Mansion in Warring, England; it's possibly the same location in the Wonder-Gran meets Dracula sketch and (possibly) in The Birthday Party on February 8, 1989. All of the interior scenes probably occur in the mansion.
* Ken Sedd and Johnny Vyvyan play violin players. They also play wedding guests (Vyvyan looks up the bride's dress on the wedding cake) and mourners at the funeral.
* Linda Sands possibly plays the manservant's girlfriend. The identity of the actor playing the manservant is unrevealed, but he reappears as a priest in the Wonder-Gran and Dracula sketch.
* This sketch possibly rates as among the most sinister sketches in Benny's repertoire.
* This sketch is known as "Marriage of Convenience" in the A&E Box Set. It also went as "Marrying for Money" in the "Home Video Drive-In" segment of HBO Video's "Golden Classics" DVD collection and as "All for the Money" in Network Video's R.2 DVD "The Benny Hill Annual: 1979."

## Gallery

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Sue Bond

**Sue Bond** is an English actress, comedian and cabaret singer, best remembered for her appearances on "The Benny Hill Show" in the early 1970s.

Not much of her life and career is known. She was born May 9, 1945 in Aylesbury, England, starting her film career in the soft-core films of George Harrison Marks in the late 1960s. She was also an extra in "Anne of the Thousand Days" in 1969 and had a brief appearance in Lindsay Shonteff's film, "The Bullet Machine" in 1970 where she was credited as "Suzy Bond."

Sue appeared in The Benny Hill Show for three years between 1970 and 1973, making her one of the longest serving female cast members of the pre-Hill's Angels era. After leaving the series, Sue began to get offered more character roles in British sitcoms, such as "Casanova," "Now Look Here," "Doctor in Charge," "Love Thy Neighbor," "Not On Your Nellie" and "The Fenn Street Gang." She also starred in the English movies "The Yes Girls," "The Creeping Flesh" with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee and "O Lucky Man!" She also appeared in the stage show and film spin-off of "George and Mildred." According to an interview in 1975, her aspirations were to be a Bond girl in a James Bond film and appear in Anton Chekhov's "Three Sisters." That same year, she appeared in a Bradford theater production of "Jack and the Beanstalk" with Charlie Drake.

Alongside of her acting, Bond had a second career as a singer on the Northern Club Circuit. Her last acting credit to date was in the short-lived revival of "Mind Your Language" in 1986. She was still performing on the cabaret circuit into the early 1990s.

## Episode(s)

* The Dalton Abbott Railway Choir
* Jackie Wright's Holiday
* The Common Market Square Dance
* Woodstick
* Cinema: The Vintage Years
* Undercover Sanitary Inspector
* Top of the Tops
* Opportunity's Knocking

## Gallery

* Woodstick
* Sue Bond today
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The Great Pretender

## Bio

The **Great Pretender** is an unidentified farm hand hired by royal assistants in an unidentified period of British history, possibly somewhere between the 14th and 16th Centuries.

During the wedding plans of King Henry (Benny Hill) to his future bride, two regents (Nicholas Parsons and Bob Todd) learn of a plot to kill him by his cousin, the Duchess Catherine of Whitworth (Clovissa Newcombe in a blonde wig) seeking to gain his throne. They go searching for a double through the countryside for a worthy lookalike for the king to foil the plan and eventually find him in the form of the unnamed farm hand. Teaching him etiquette and speech (By accident, one of them actually mocks their king's voice to get the right voice.), they soon pass him off to the Duchess, leaving him there to be killed by her.

Unfortunately, King Henry finds his misdirected invitation from the duchess and goes to meet his cousin. The two lookalikes wandering in and out of her dining room separately and oblivious to each other only ends up confusing her. It is later revealed (through the story-tellers) that a body is later tossed into the moat as another returns to the castle.
Eventually, King Henry is successfully married to his French bride (Bettine Le Beau), and his regents rejoice in a plan gone well. However, after they depart, the king departs to his chambers with his new wife, his voice slipping back to that of the farm hand.

## Trivia

* The Great Pretender and the dire King were both played by Benny Hill.
* The King's Mother is played by Rita Webb.
* One of the regents (the one played by Nicholas Parsons) is named Lord Albert.
* The Ladybirds help pass along the story with brief passages in song.
* Robin Hood, Casanova, The Count of Monte Cristo and the Messenger are other period-centric characters played by Benny Hill.

## Gallery

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Nicola Bacon

**Nicola Bacon** is an English actress and dancer. As a child, Nicola won the prestigious ISTD Janet Cram modern award and the ISTD Marjorie Davies Tap award at 15 before pursuing a professional dance career in theatre, tv and cabaret. She eventually starred as one the Hill's Angels in the 1985 season of "The Benny Hill Show" and in the last two episodes of the series in 1989; her scenes on the show include "The Seven Foolish Virgins" segment from the April 5, 1989 episode.

Today, Nicola Bacon is an instructor at the Demeric School of Dance. Her bio on the site mentions she is a fellow member of the ISTD, having gained a distinction in both tap and modern branches fellowship exam at the young age of 30yrs old. She ran her own academy for 16 years before starting a family and has also taught at several schools and colleges, including Italia Conti, Mountview, GSA, ALRA, Arnould School, Jayne Coleman Academy, Susan Robinson School of Ballet and Red Shoes School of Dance.

Her choreography has featured at many All England Dance Finals over the years and in professional productions too

## Episode(s)

* The B-Team (uncredited)
* Forever Love (uncredited)
* Carmen (uncredited)
* Holding Out For A Hero (uncredited)
* Pepy's Diary (uncredited)

## Gallery

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Penny Meredith

**Penny Meredith** is an English actress, known for the movies "The Flesh and Blood Show" and "The Ups and Downs of a Handyman." Not much is known about her life and career. Her film career includes the movies "Night Train to Murder," "Confessions from a Holiday Camp" with Sue Upton, "The Ups and Downs of a Handyman," "Go for a Take" and "The Flesh and Blood Show." She also starred in two 1972 episodes of "The Benny Hill Show," appearing as the girl Benny Hill chases and kisses under a tree in "Scuttle's Keep Fit Brigade" in one episode and in the "Adjudicating Panel" sketch on the next episode. Both sketches later appeared in "The Best of Benny Hill" featurette in 1974.

## Episode(s)

* Benny's All-Star Finale
* Down Memory Lane
The Gay Caballero

## Bio

The **Gay Caballero** is a comedy operetta performed by Benny Hill in the opening of March 16, 1983 episode. The number features breaks for comedy dialogue with the other cast members in roles and speaking parts.

## Lyrics

(Note: This transcription is from the episode; as such, some of the lyrics are missing due to sound issues or estimated.)

I am known as the Gay Caballero

I'm as fast as a stallion I ride

To the ladies I am known as a hero

But in Santa Fe, I have yet to find a bride

I must continue my search for that maiden

Where her smile beams under those curls

I think it's a crime that there's so little time

And so many beautiful girls.

I took Anna May to a restaurant

She said, "I guess I'll have champagne

"Then lobster and steak and some wild strawberries."

I said, "You better think again."

Lolita was rich when I met her

And went and she threw it away.

She went and invested it all in a chicken farm

Then realized all the roosters were gay.

Around at her flat, she sat on my lap

<*unknown line*>

I said, "Show me you're really my baby."

She did and she piddled all over my shirt.

A red rose fell from her bedroom window

And a large crowd gathered round this young elf

They all asked what happened

She said, "I only just got here myself."

Then someone brought a tumbler of water

They got it from a tap that was handy

She said, "I fell fifty feet and got brandy,

"How far do have have to fall to get brandy?"

Oh dear lady, show me your face

To hide such beauty would be a disgrace

Hair soft as satin, body of lace,

I beg you sweet lady.

Cover up your face!

Jon Jon Keefe - Please give these to the pawn broker's daughter.

I think of her more times than I oughta.

Elfrida Ashworth - My father won't let me be with any kind of man.

Jon Jon Keefe - Then these are for her, and that's for her dad!

(*Indistinct lines between Benny Hill and the Hill's Angels*)

Benny Hill - I know I can't have Lola Palola...

Carol, Karina or Marie...

Jane, Janetta or Lola

Louise English - If you like, you can try for all three.

Benny Hill - Thank you for your kindness, dear ladies

But I'll smile as I tip my sombrero

But if I can't have the girl I have come for

It's good-bye to the Gay Caballero!

Hill's Angels - But if he can't have the girl he has come for

It's good-bye to the Gay Caballero!
Penny Wells

Not much is known about **Penny Wells**. She was an original member of the Hill's Angels on "The Benny Hill Show," appearing in the "Scarlet Pimple" sketch on February 6, 1980 and in the "Charlene's Angels" and "Chubby Dodds" sketches on March 5, 1980.

## Episode(s)

* Women's Lib TV
* Butch Cafferty and the Fundance Kid
Scuttle Security

## Bio

**Scuttle Security** is a British security company owned and run by Fred Scuttle. Unprofessional, untrained and somewhat incompetent, the company includes Scuttle and his assistant and brother-in-law Rex (Jackie Wright) providing security for BenHill's Bank Ltd.. They also have a dog named Caesar. It's not known what other clients they may have.

When Scuttle and Rex arrive to transport the gold and money for the bank, they hit the bike of a deliver guy (Bob Todd) parked out front who drops his packages and gets disgusted before wandering off. With Rex racing out with bales and bags of cash and gold bars, Fred struggles to unlock the back of the van, and people are randomly walking by and grabbing up cash they can carry as Rex keeps piling up money on the ground. A lady with a stroller (Pat Ashton) grabs a gold bar and an old man (Walter Goodman) walks away with a bag of cash under his coat as Fred still struggles to get into his van. A police officer (Henry McGee) actually shows up to help as Fred tries a crowbar on the back door, but he actually gets into it from the interior. Meanwhile, a female pedestrian (Helli Louise) grabs a bag of cash. As valuable pile up at the curb, Fred gets into the van and an old woman (Connie Georges shows up to watch. Fred notices she seems to be pregnant as her abdomen is sticking out. However, everything seems to be loaded and Fred and Rex drive away with some unseen gold bars left under the van at the curb.

Driving away, Fred dodges and nearly hits pedestrians (Walter Goodman and Pat Ashton?) and passes one male hitch-hiker (unidentified) to pick up two women (Cheryl Gilham and Helli Louise), but when they stop for a break, the two women jump out of the van with the bags of cash and jump into the open sports car of an accessory (unidentified). They give chase to get the money back, evading a traffic jam and later running the thieves off the road. Getting the money back, Fred and Rex drive off, clipping a traffic cop (Henry McGee) as loose cash flies out the open doors of the van.

## Trivia

* This sketch includes an opening with Henry McGee interviewing Scuttle and a demonstration between Jackie Wright as Rex and Pat Ashton as Elsie.
* The opening Fred Scuttle interview has a weird "fade in/fade out" effect as Ashton comes out. This might be where an edit was done in the footage.
* Jackie says "Stop dancing up there." when Benny raps on his helmet. He says it again when he raps on his glass helmet in Scuttle's Space Race in Murder on the Oregon Express.
* The incidental music in the sketch is by The Orange Blossom Band.
* The location shooting seems to be the grounds and roads around Teddington Studios. The field reappears in Scuttle's Keep Fit Brigade and the street with the wooden boards reappears in The Birthday Party.

## Gallery

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The Benny Hill Show on VHS/DVD

## The Best of Benny Hill

* Featuring clips from the episodes:
* The European Song Contest
* Is This Your Life?
* Tommy Tupper in Tupper-Time
* The Sound of Frankenstein
* The Underwater World of Jacques Custard
* Opportunity's Knocking
* Top of the Tops
* Undercover Sanitary Inspector
* Cinema: The Vintage Years
* Fun in the Kitchen with Johnny and Cranny Faddock
* News at Ten with Reginald Boozenquet

## HBO Home Video

### Video Revue

* Featuring clips from the episodes:
* Murder on the Oregon Express
* The South Blank Show
* Butch Cafferty and the Fundance Kid

### One Night Video Stand

* Featuring clips from the episodes:
* Villain of the Year
* A Packed Program
* Name That Tune
* Women's Lib Television

### Home Video Drive-In

* Featuring clips from the episodes:
* Leprechaun TV
* The Police Raid in Waterloo Station
* Women's Lib Television
* WonderGran Meets Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde
* Talking Point
* Big Poppa
* Holiday

### Video Sideshow

* Featuring clips from the episodes:
* Benny Hill: Down Under
* The Bionic Baby
* Friday Night Fever
* A Tribute to the Lower Tidmarsh Volunteer Fire Brigade

### Video Follies

* Featuring clips from the episodes:
* The Monte Carbolic Show
* Talking Point
* Super-Teech
* Holiday

### Video Spotlight

* Featuring clips from the episodes:
* WonderGran Meets Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde
* The Monte Carbolic Show
* Talking Point
* Super-Teech
* Holiday

### Golden Laughs

* Featuring the episode:
* Scuttle-Vision

### Golden Sniggers

* Featuring the episode:
* The Hot Shoe Show

### Golden Chortles

* Featuring the episode:
* The B-Team

### Golden Smiles

* Featuring the episode:
* Carmen

### Crazy World

* Featuring clips from the episodes:
* R. Dibble: Handyman
* The Herd
* Cagney and Lacey

### Golden Titters

* Featuring the episode:
* The Halitosis Kid

### Golden Yucks

* Featuring the episode:
* Club Chicago-Go

### Golden Chuckles

* Featuring the episode:
* The Crook Report

### Golden Giggles

* Featuring the episode:
* Holding Out For A Hero

### Golden Guffaws

* Featuring the episode:
* Pepy's Diary

## A&E Home Video

### The Thames Years: 1969-1989 - Benny Hill - The Complete Mega-Set

* Includes all 19 Seasons except the specials:
* Benny Hill: Down Under
* Benny Hill's World Tour: New York

## BBC Video

### Benny Hill: The Lost Years Set

* Include material from the BBC Years:
* Bennies From Heaven
* Benny And The Jets
* The Good, The Bawdy, The Benny
Police Raid on Waterloo Station

## Bio

**The Police Raid In Waterloo Station** is a low-budget spy film from Cheapo Films studios. The production is marred with numerous production, camera, wardrobe, acting and editing errors including, but not limited, to shaky sets, bad sound cues, errors in continuity, stage hands in shots, small sets, inaccurate stock footage, odd camera angles, camera crew in mirrors and other production errors.

The film features a man named Harry (Benny Hill) who goes to meet a woman known as Midnight (Anika Pavel). She mentions Lady Sylvia Ramsbottom who has a collection of jewelry that Midnight wants. After this robbery, she promises to go straight.

At her mansion, Lady Ramsbottom (Alison Bell) thinks she is alone even as Harry and Midnight rob the safe in her bedroom as she sleeps. After they escape, a detective (John Quayle) and his assistant, Miss Potts (Lee Gibson), pursue them by plane as the thieves escape on the SS Yorkshire Rose for the Manhattan Hotel. On the ship, Harry is noticed by a young beauty (Sue Upton) and leaves Midnight. As they're trying to sell the jewels to a gangster (Roger Finch), Midnight catches up with them and gets shot in a fight over the gun. Later, when Harry goes to buy a newspaper from a vendor (Jackie Wright), he's shot by the gangster from a window and dies in the street. The newspaper falls open to reveal the jewels had always been fakes.

## Trivia

* "Cheapo Films Presents" is reboot of "The Fastest Film Director in the World," which had depicted a J. Arthur Clinker movie entitled "Secret Agent of Love." which Benny did first for the BBC in 1954. Benny's foil in that earlier sketch was Patricia Hayes. This sketch also featured gags which had been scattered among the first bloopers segment of the December 27, 1972 show.
* This was Alison Bell's first appearance in the series.
* Roger Finch and two actresses play passengers with Sue Upton as a stewardess.
* Part of the dialogue in the sketch comes from Passengers Of Love.
* Helen Horton plays the witness to the murder.

## Gallery

1/29
The Boutique

## Bio

**The Boutique** is a romantic melodrama performed in mime and focused on the female clerk of a boutique decorated in masks. The clerk (Charmaine Seal) is visited by a male admirer (Benny Hill) who visits her with flowers, but she rejects him and stamps on his flowers. The admirer improves his looks with the mask of a dashing male figure from the shop, getting her devotion and attention in return, and scorning her in return for revenge. The act hurts her terribly, but as she goes to adjust her make-up, the powder causes her admirer to sneeze. He takes off his mask to complete it, but he accidentally picks up the mask of a young girl. Unaware of the change, he continues to try and woo her, but his advances only confuse and distress her. She flees for the protection of her father (Jackie Wright), who comes to investigate. He becomes entranced by the admirer in the female mask and pledges his love to "her," only to be dissuaded by a vase to his head. As the admirer picks up a mirror, he realizes by now he's been wearing the wrong mask. By now, another patron (Nicolas Parsons) has entered, and as the admirer muses over the confusion, the patron becomes enchanted by him and chases him from the boutique.

## Trivia

* The French tune for this sketch is "La Violetera" by José Padilla, which was famously featured in the 1931 Charlie Chaplin film "City Lights." Some of Yakety Sax plays at the end.
* This sketch was one of several early sketches included in The Best of Benny Hill.

## Episode(s)

* The Underwater World Of Jacques Custard

## Gallery

1/10
Suzy Mandel

**Suzy Mandel** is an English model and comedy actress best known for starring in a series of British sex comedies in the 1970s. She was born March 6, 1953 in London, England, although she grew up on the Isle of Sheppey in Kent and later in the cities of Epping, Woodford and Buckhurst Hill Essex. She was partly raised by her grandparents who owned bars and clubs and holidays camps through England. She attended London Academy of Modeling in London at the age of 13, beginning her career as a model and later becoming a contestant on Miss TV Times on June 14, 1974.

Mandel's first starring role was in the sex comedy, "Intimate Games," which brought her to the attention of Benny Hill. He cast Mandel on his show for the 1977 season, giving her appearances in the sketches, "Nor Iron Bars A Cage...!" on January 26, 1977 and the "Girls, Girls, Girls" sketch on March 23, 1977. She later went on to play an uncredited extra on "Monty Python's Flying Circus," making her one of a handful of performers to have appeared on both "Benny Hill" and "Monty Python."

Mandel married wealthy British film financier Stanley Margolis, the owner of Tigon British Film Productions, on August 14, 1981. They divorced in 1994.

On the big screen, Mandel starred in sex comedies, such as "Confessions of a Driving Instructor," "Come Play with Me," "The Playbirds" and "Adventures of a Plumber's Mate," becoming a sex symbol on par with Mary Millington, the United Kingdom’s biggest sex symbol of the 1970s. She moved to Los Angeles, California afterward, studying acting at the famed Lee Strasberg Institute for about a year in 1976 as well as studying acting and voice with noted voice and dialect coach Robert Easton. She continued acting, appearing in "The Mistress of the Apes" and in the 1980 film, "The Private Eyes," with Tim Conway and Don Knotts. She also guest starred on television shows like "The Love Boat" and did commercials for Toyota, Nissan and Kawasaki. In New York City, she appeared in the hardcore film, "Blonde Ambition," in 1977, afterward moving to work behind the scenes. She helped to co-produce the horror comedy, "Dead Men Don't Die" in 1991 with Elliott Gould and "Love Bites" with Adam Ant in 1993.

By 1996, Mandel had dropped entirely out of show business, working as a nurse with AIDS patients after several of her friends had died from the disease. She also briefly ran an art gallery in Beverly Hills, California before returned to to work as a nurse. She semi-retired in 2001 after an accident nearly proved fatal for her, but she returned to producing in 2006, working with adult video director Jennifer James on "Inside Erotica."

In 2014, Mandel appeared in the tongue-in-cheek British television documentary, "The Golden Rules of Porn," a documentary where she discussed her roles in the soft-core British comedies of the Seventies.

## Episode(s)

* A Packed Program
* The Bionic Baby

## Gallery

1/9
Nosher Powell

**George Frederick Bernard Powell** is an English actor, boxer and stuntman, best known for his roles in the movies "Willow," "First Knight" and "Legionnaire."

Born on August 15, 1928 in Camberwell, England, he was the brother of Dennis "Dinny" Powell, who was also a stuntman. Nick-named "Nosher" as an infant by his mother, Powell started out as a boxer, later working as a stuntman in several films in England, often credited variously as Nosher Powell, Freddie Powell, Frederick Powell or Fred Powell. He had an extensive but mostly uncredited career in stunt work and acting. In 1969, he portrayed the role of the powerful thug Lord Dorking in "Randall and Hopkirk." In 1971, he was a stuntman for Benny Hill, Bob Todd and Lesley Goldie in a fight sequence on The Benny Hill Show.

In his memoirs, he claimed to have turned down an offer to be the getaway driver in the movie, "The Great Train Robbery." As a boxer, Powell was a heavyweight boxing champion in the worlds of unlicensed fighting and the professional arena. He had worked as a sparring partner for Joe Louis, Sugar Ray Robinson and Muhammad Ali amongst others. The last fight of his career was against Menzies Johnson which Nosher won over eight rounds.

According to his autobiography, Nosher had a total of seventy-eight fights with fifty-one as a professional with nine losses, though he was never knocked out. A separate resource lists Nosher as losing sixteen times as a professional with nine of those losses being by KO, two by TKO and five on points.

Nosher was married to Pauline Wellman and had two sons, Greg Powell and Gary Powell, who were also stuntmen. He died in his sleep on April 20, 2013 in London.
Rona Newton-John

**Rona Newton-John** was an Australian actress, writer and model of Welsh ancestry whose career largely spanned the Seventies.

Rona was born in Cambridge, England on February 1, 1941. Her parents were Brinley Newton-John, a professor at Cambridge's King College and writer and photographer Irene Born, the daughter of German physicist Max Born. Her most famous relative is her sister, Olivia Newton-John, a well-known performer in the music industry and actress from the movie, "Grease," which also starred Rona.

Starting out as a model, Rona's good looks par laid her into an acting career, appearing in sketches on an episode of the TV series, "The Benny Hill Show" and "UFO" and appearances in the movies, "Brotherly Love," "Trog" and "Sordid Lives." She also recorded a song, "Just Us Two," with her sister in 1972, later turning up with Olivia as a guest on "The Mike Douglas Show" in 1979, preparing an English soup recipe.

Married at least twice with four children, Rona met her third husband, actor Jeff Conaway of the American TV-Series "Taxi", at an Allan Carr party during the filming of "Grease" in 1978; they were married for two years but divorced in 1985. Her sons are movie producer Brian Goldsmith and race car driver Emerson Newton-John.

Sadly, Rona was diagnosed with brain cancer April 23, 2013 and passed away May 24, 2013. A memoir she was writing, "The Dark Side of Charisma," is expected to be released posthumously.

## Episode(s)

* The Underworld Water of Jacques Custard

## Gallery

1/4
The Constant Viewer

## Production

**Episode:** 3

**Date:** March 6, 1962

**Time:** 25:00

**Musical Director:** Ron Grainer

**Vocals:** None

**Choreography:** None

**Producer:** Duncan Wood

**Director:** Tony Abbott

**Writer:** Benny Hill and Dave Freeman

## Episode

The story of Bert Noggsmith (Benny Hill), a compulsive television watcher who lives through the programs he watches on TV, such as a medical drama, the winner of a game show, an investigative journalist or an accomplished violinist, each with its own beautiful girl.

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Jeremy Hawk
* Hugh Lloyd
* Patricia Hayes
* Peter Cavanaugh
* Annabelle Lee
* Anna Lancaster
* Jennifer Browne
* Valerie Bell
* Dennis Chinnery

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** A Pair Of Socks
* **Next Episode:** The Changeling
The Crook Report

## Production

**Episode:** 57

**Date:** February 8, 1989

**Time:** 50:37

**Musical Director:** Ronnie Aldrich

**Vocals:** The Ladybirds

**Choreography:** Libby Roberts

**Producer:** Dennis Kirkland

**Director:** Dennis Kirkland

**Writer:** Benny Hill

## Episode

* Quickies - 4
* Ballad: Western Round-Up
* Hill's Little Angels: Birthday Party
	+ Westbrook Mansion
* Fred Scuttle: Scuttle Tabloid News
* Quickie: Bad Memory
* Hill's Angels: Sports
* The After Dinner Speech Dinner
* Quickies - 2
* Tag: The Crook Report

## Highlights

* The Birthday Party
* Benny stars in a spoof of "The Cook Report."

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Henry McGee
* Bob Todd
* Anna Dawson
* Jon Jon Keefe
* Johnny Hutch
* Duggie Small
* Sue Upton
* Lorraine Doyle
* Carla De Wansey
* Albert Moses
* Jenny Westbrook
* Mike Mulloy
* Adam Johnstone - Hill's Little Angel
* Joanna Kirkland - Hill's Little Angel
* Jade Westbrook - Hill's Little Angel
* Louise Whatling - Hill's Little Angel
* Richard Whatling - Hill's Little Angel
* Frances Wingate - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Debbie Scamp - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Susie Waring - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Jenny Drummond - Hill's Angel (uncredited)
* Barbie Denham - Hill's Angel (uncredited)

## Quotes

* **Old Patient**  - "Well, doctor, I'm a compulsive liar."
**Henry McGee**  - "I don't believe you."

* **Henry McGee**  - "What makes you so sure you're going to be Number One?"
**Fred Scuttle**  - "Because we are the newspaper that faces facts and names names?"
**Henry McGee**  - "Who is your proprietor?"
**Fred Scuttle**  - "I'd rather not say."

* **Henry McGee**  - "That is junk journalism at it's worse! I've never heard of such piffle!"
**Fred Scuttle**  - "Piffle?"
**Henry McGee**  - "It's full of piff!"

* **Fred Scuttle**  - "I'd be very careful if I was you, Mr. McGee! If that's your real name.... Otherwise, we here to reveal some of the scandulous rumors flying around on your love life."
**Henry McGee**  - "But there are no rumors!"
**Fred Scuttle**  - "That can be arranged!"

* **Camera Man** - "Who are we expecting today?"
**Director**  - "Rashid Ben Ali Yakkiman."
**Ronald Crook**  - "Well, that's a good old English name."

* **Ronald Crook**  - "I want the organ grinder, not the monkey!"

* **Ronald Crook**  - "Why won't he talk to me?"
**Mrs. Dhurani**  - "Because he doesn't speak English."

## Trivia

* This episode appears on the "Golden Giggles" VHS.
* It takes two more Angels added to the original eight for the Hill's Angels to create the "Sports" intro. The extra two might have been Sue Upton and Carla De Wansey, but this has yet to be confirmed.
* Benny's recurring Ginger Thompkins character reappears as a pool player.
* The ending scenes in the closing sketch, "The Crook Report," were filmed at Thorpe Park in Surrey, England.

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** Club Chicago-Go
* **Next Episode:** Holding Out For A Hero
The Time Bicycle

## Production

**Episode:** 9

**Date:** December 14, 1962

**Time:** 25:00

**Musical Director:** Ron Grainer

**Vocals:** None

**Choreography:** None

**Producer:** Duncan Wood

**Director:** Tony Abbott

**Writer:** Benny Hill and Dave Freeman

## Episode

In Edwardian England, Mr. Bottiwell (Benny Hill) visits his inventor friend (Graham Stark), who gets him drunk then sends him into the future on his new invention.

## Cast

* Benny Hill
* Graham Stark
* Anthony Sharp
* Laurel Mather
* Gwenda Ewen
* Cameron Hall
* Ken Roberts
* Julian Orchard
* Molly Sugden
* Edwin Apps
* Sidney Vivian
* Reg Thompson
* Roger Avon
* Jean Marlowe
* Alec Bregonzi

## Sequence

* **Last Episode:** Cry of Innocence
* **Next Episode:** Mervyn's Christmas Pudding