Lorby Wiki

## Welcome to the Deepest Ocean

Do you have the courage to dive deep? Can you hold your breath, let alone withstand the pressure? All you need is faith in Lorby.

*Lorbian Proverb*

## Random Page

*"It's simply futile to try and explain Lorby to a random person... No string of words is divine enough. So I recommend you begin your voyage by visiting a random page first." -* Anonymous

Special:Random/namespace name

## BREAKING NEWS

[**IMPORTANT:** This page is just a collection of references to raw, unfiltered news stories that anyone can post. Since 95% of all modern news is fake (most likely due to the Earth's entire land being >95% explored to date by hominids), 95% of all news here is REAL because that's how much of the ocean remains unexplored and/or uncharted. The other 5% isn't necessarily fake though; it just still remains unaccepted as the truth by the landlubbers and slarpists (on whom we spit)]

[keep each news story only TWO lines maximum, but you may link the article to a separate page and elaborate if you would like to do so]

* **Thursday 12/22/2022 --** Winter snow is fucked! My roof caved in and i think I got that hyperthermia shit. Winter sucks fuck!

* **Saturday 12/3/2022 --** Numb Digger, Varg Vickners, arrested for setting white mans church ablaze.

* **THURSDAY 12/1/2022** -- Eccentric Inventor Thomas Thomasson IV invents a method to turn Code Red Mountain Dew into Red Mayo. Lorby officially ordained Thomasson as a Child of the Claw for being a very good boy.
* **WEDNESDAY 11/30/2022** -- A Slarpy sighting has occurred near the Mud fields of Hindustan.
* **TUESDAY 11/29/2022** -- Chester Bennington is alleged to have died but it has been unverified and many Wormologists believe it was a plot by the Clinkin Slark Singer, to start a new life.
* **MONDAY 11/28/2022** -- President Garfield eradicated all Locusts in the terrestrial wastes. He failed, however, fail to annihilate the aquatic larvae.
* **SUNDAY 11/27/2022** -- The first Jew-Jitsu club for Numb Diggers has been opened.
* **SATURDAY 11/26/2022** -- Local man saves preschool from a fire-alarm mimic that became alive through the dark magicks of Hoodmancers from the Shadow Realm. He was given
* **FRIDAY 11/25/2022** -- Oklahoma Middle School Celebrates Nineteen Years of Tic Tac Toe Club

* **THURSDAY 11/24/2022** -- Pope Hydrofucked XI the Bald declared his Church autocephalous from Lorby. Dr.Phil is already on his way to lay down the claw. However, the Balding Church is still in communion.
* **WEDNESDAY 11/23/2022** -- The Blook gang declared in an interview with the notorious journalist Giggly McPool that "we finally got rid of that Slarpy crackkka ages ago, but his sludge's still here cuz that no good Zulu destroying half of our shit."
* **TUESDAY 11/22/2022** -- In police raid of a submersible yellow submarine in the Trench District, authorities found trace amounts of Mountain Doo and Element 121. Local Gay Albino Scientists are cooperating with police to investigate the origin.
* **MONDAY 11/21/2022** -- Notorious Pirate "Triple Hook" escapes law enforcement after selling adulterated"Vitamin C" pills that provided no protection of Scurvy. He is quoted as "Yarrrr fuck ye". The bounty on his head now excedes $3000.
* **SUNDAY 11/20/2022** -- "Matchup of the Millennium," Chris Hansen & Chris Swanson VS Alien & Predator, Round 1 Begins

* **SATURDAY 11/19/2022** -- Archaeologists Get Posthumously Trolled After Directions to "Temple of Riches" Turn Out to be Joke, Instead They Are Led to Edge of 1,600ft Cliff, "It was all just a fake language... They fuckin' got us bad"

* **THURSDAY 11/17/2022** -- Fifth High School in America Experiences Anomalous Bathroom Flood After Doorstoppers Appear, More Janitors Expected to Resign
* **WEDNESDAY 11/16/2022** -- Charity Magic Show Goes Horribly Wrong After Wyoming Magician "Luke the Duke" Disappears and Fails to Reappear, Search Ongoing Involving Government Physicists
* **TUESDAY 11/15/2022** -- Five Years Since Lil Peep Dies, True Fans Still Listen, RIP (November 1st, 1996 - November 15th, 2017)
* **MONDAY 11/14/2022** -- Two Arrested After Breaking Into Maine Zoo and Taunting Chimpanzees by "Laughing and Showing Their Teeth," Authorities Say It Was a "Unique Prank"
* **SUNDAY 11/13/2022** -- Another Club Mexico has been found and eradicated after a worker tried to prevent an Ayrab from drinking the Mountain Doo before saying to the worker "*Your whole family will be executed*" and then making it true. All Doo was consumed by the Ayrab, who ogredosed and died.

## Inspirational Quotes

*"The journey of a thousand nautical miles begins with a single splash"* - Anonymous; also a common seafarer saying

*"Gayliens? Of course they're jealous. The oceans are still more uncharted than space, despite being explored for eons longer and also having a finite volume. And gayliens are also probably jealous because they have increased their daldo tolerance over the recent years and are now basically desensitized to some of the largest objects in the universe, but worst of all is they all have AIDS -- Acquired Interstellar Diameter Stretching"* - Uncle Slam (2005)

*"I'm neva gon stop, I can't stop"* - lil cyrene

"Y'all cowards don't even consume microplastics" - Brahma Vivek

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