Honey Heist - Ep. 1

Spoilers ahead!*This article contains spoilers for **Honey Heist - Ep. 1**. Be warned!*

## Honey Heist - Ep. 1

### Cast

Dom, Holly, Ivan, Rosie, Sullivan, Tilly, Tom

### Characters

Bearly, Buttons, Cross Ross, Mrs Dave, Steven Bearrard, Teddy

### Series

Honey Heist

**Honey Heist - Ep. 1** is the first episode of the Honey Heist roleplay series.

**Since these episodes have an overarching narrative structure, the episode guides contain major and minor spoilers.**

"*Bees use dance to communicate, so we may be able to discombobulate them if the choreography is **really on point**.*"
―Dom
## Scenario

Our players, a group of criminal bears, create a plan to steal a horde of royal jelly from the Queen Ebuzzibeeth before she gives it to one of her two sons, Prince Willicomb or Prince Honey.

## Characters

Ivan is the Games Master.

* Bearly (Holly) – a young sun bear who is very excited to be a part of a crime job. She sent in her application with a message from her mother saying she was very proud of her.
* Teddy (Rosie) – a 150-year-old Cub Scout leader grizzly bear. She is very versatile and is happy to lead, follow and be in the middle.
* Steven Bearrard (Sullivan) – an old sun bear who wants nothing more than to finish his final job, move to Milton Keynes and complete his childhood wish of becoming a Winnie The Pooh for children's birthday parties.
* Cross Ross (Tom) – a honey badger. He serves as a bodyguard to Mrs Dave and was previously involved in both the police world and the criminal world multiple times.
* Mrs Dave (Tilly) – a well-dressed panda whose husband, Mr Dave, died in a tragic accident. She was previously involved in the criminal underworld through Preston.
* Buttons (Dom) – a tall black bear wearing a tuxedo and a very convincing human disguise. He speaks very ominously and refers to a traumatic backstory.

### NPC

* Preston, the leader of the group.
* Clementine, Ethan, Marvin, Matt and Harry, Mrs Dave's five step-children.
* The owner of a smokey LX store.
* Workers and guests at Queen Ebuzzibeeth's Jubeebee.
* Prince Willicomb.
* Queen Ebuzzibeeth II.

## Notable moments

* Unlike the previously serious, psychological comedies of the previous No Rolls Barred RPGs, this one is just pure buffoonery. Bear puns, bee puns, crying with laughter and heist-movie tropes galore!
* We have the return of Ivan! He's the keeper this time, leading our bunch of bears through the heist. It's a beautiful cast in general!
* Before the story has even begun, we have a bit where Rosie cracks a pun and gets a mysterious point. These are given out liberally throughout the RPG.
* Bearly, played by Holly, is excited to be here, but in a normal amount.
* Steven: "I want to go to the greatest city in the world... Milton Keynes."
* It's wonderful to see Tom's characterisation again, not least for the shenanigans of a body guard honey badger.
* Tilly: "I'm not really one for black." Rosie: "Black and white, more like!"
* Preston: "Well, so, when I need to send an email-" Buttons: "You give it to me."
* We've all done crime here, but Bearly has definitely done a lot. She's done so much that she's already one point away from becoming a complete criminal.
* Prince Willicomb. That's all it takes.
* The triple threat:
	+ Preston: "A connection of mine to fill out some profiles for you... unfortunately, my associate did it in Bee. I don't speak Bee. But at least you know their faces."
	+ Preston: "Now, this is a masquerade ball." Dom: "Of course it is!"
	+ Preston: "I did go at some lengths to find a colour printer this morning."
* It would be truly criminal to spoil all the best puns here. Look forward to the minute-long section where they just make bee music puns. Ivan: "There's almost no content in this game. It's really a list of bee puns."
* The points are expanded - anyone who made a bee pun gets a bee point. There are no prizes. Renamed to Nectar Points. Ivan: "You can't use them, but they will expire after six months."
* It's a joy seeing Tom, Tilly and Sullivan back into their RPG finest. Jokes and comedy, but also real tension and rivalry. It's nice to be back.
* Teddy: "What have you got under that hat?" Buttons: "It's a wig. Oh... the hat on the wig. I have a wig under the hat. I'm actually a bear."
* Mrs Dave: "You're still a bear to us... even though you've got those..." Steven: "Weird hands." Mrs Dave: "Well I wasn't going to say it Steven, there's no need to be insensitive about his weird hands."
* Buttons has a blog. As he's the only one who can type, he got everyone onto the blog and then left it on the screen.
* Teddy: "I will lead and also follow." Preston: "Who's in the middle?" Teddy: "Me as well."
* Tom: "So we live in a universe with sentient pencils... incredible."
* Teddy: "I can play anything, I got these big ol' claws that pluck strings." Steven: "And play the harmonica as well?" Teddy: "Oh yeah, that fits right inside my mouth."
* Rosie accidentally copies Steven's accent, mocking the Liverpudlian. Buttons: "The jubilant mood, soured!"
* Preston: "And you shall be bequothen--bequothen? Bequeathed."
* The Studebearker has five seats, so Buttons is in the boot. It also has a trailer for Mrs Dave's five step-children.
* Tom loses it at 'bee-featers'.
* Dom has a criminal flashback to a smokey LX store. Everyone is giggly as Buttons near-threatens the worker by giving him his password.
* Sullivan, Rosie, Tilly and Holly do a wonderful cover of 'Teeth and Claws', a cover from The Beetles (they're actual beetles). And a second cover of 'New Orbeens'.
* Rosie: "Just the tip?" That was not where anyone else's thoughts went.
* Tom talks to the honey. Everyone is slightly in love with it. Ivan: "Be aware, if you're to use this power again, it may get more erotic." Tom: "That sounds like an invitation. And that sounds like an invitation I'm going to accept."
* The final cover is of 'Good Vibrations' by The Beech Boys. Teddy's on the harmonica.
* Sullivan: "We've all rubbed in appreciation!"
* Steven's performance was certainly a performance. Mrs Dave: "I think you can have too much of a good thing."
* Bearly turns fully criminal! She has a new win condition and now the sheer suspicion in every move she does is palpable.
* Cross Ross's name comes from him crossing the rooms. "You wanna see Ross cross? You *do* wanna see Ross cross."
* Mrs Dave's and Cross Ross's friendship is genuinely sweet. Ross: "Mr Dave had his strengths. Mr Dave had his weaknesses. You've got yours." Mrs Dave: "What are my weaknesses?"
* And Buttons turns full bear! The wig comes off, he kills some securibee guards and wreaks havoc in the securibee center.
* Prince Willicomb is a treat, invoking plenty of giggles from Dom. Ivan is absolutely doing the roles justice!
* Cross Ross and Mrs Dave meet Queen Ebuzzibeeth II. Mrs Dave outbids a bunch of bees for a nice necklace, but she's wearing shades so no one recognises her.
* Queen: "Tell me what I am?" Mrs Dave: "You're the queen!" Queen: "You. What am I?" Ross: "You're the queen." Ivan: "I'm the fucking queen." And Ivan and the rest dissolve into giggles.
* Ivan: "As one of this bees is dis...membeed?" Tom: "Bee-capitated." There will be no missed bee puns in this RPG.
* And we end on a cliffhanger!

## Trivia

* We end with a teaser for the next episode.
* This episode is the return of Sullivan and Rosie after their run in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2023.
* The puns are quite heavy handed, but in case you missed any:
	+ Queen Ebuzzibeeth II - a pun on Queen Elizabeth II
	+ The Jubibee - a pun on the Jubilee
	+ Prince Willicomb - a pun on Prince William
	+ Prince Honey - a pun on Prince Harry
	+ Buzzingham Hive - a pun on Buckingham Palace, the home for the British royals