Let's Play WESTERN LEGENDS

## ★ ADAM'S CHALKBOARD ★

**Let's Play WESTERN LEGENDS** is a video in the Board Game Club series.

"*I done fucked it, I didn't mean to do that.* "
―Brooke
## Notable moments

* The first rule of Board Game Club is "once you've passed the point of no return there will be no way to slow the train down before it reaches Eastwood Ravine".
* Who will *join the Magnificent Seven* and who will be *saddled with the Ridiculous Six*?
* This is a big episode in the NRB canon, as we will see.
* We have thematic hellos - and Brooke is introduced as (Lord) Jessie from Toy Story. That's fair.
* Intermittent accents as far as the eye can see.
* Laurie is Wyatt Earp, the lawman. Adam is Billy the Kid, aka William the Child. Sullivan is Jesse James. Brooke is Wild Bill Hiccup - she's very gassy.
* The only actual American has just moved to Boston.
* Adam to Sullivan: "You are the loveliest bandit in the West, aren't you?"
* And the Laurie and Adam dance resumes. To be fair, that's been quiet for a while, it seems. Adam: "It's time for stupid, horrible lawman Sheriff Laurie". Yes, time for him to arrest you...
* Singalonga NRB: 'Saving up for a horse' 'Wild Bill Hiccup' 'The Gambler'
* Laurie: "I'm going to keep arresting you - I'm going to follow you round."
* Brooke is pocketing a cow.
* Sullivan: "Wild Bill, all you've done is lose a poker game and put a cow in your back pocket. This guy robbed a bank and got arrested!"
* Laurie: "I'm card cow-nting!"
* Brooke has a very vague understanding of Poker - she's going to blow on the dice. And we've gone. Sullivan's not much clearer, though.
* Sullivan: "I get 10 dollars for doing the cow. Not *doing* the cow". Ahem. Sullivan loves animals?
* Laurie: "The Laurie arm of the law..."
* Adam: "We got a call that the train tracks need inspecting. Bend over and take a real close look. Stupid sheriff."
* Brooke's heading for another cow. And we've gone again.
* Adam's choosing not to rob Sullivan and wants him to remember that in the future.
* Adam: "Two outlaws finding each other on the open plains. Snuggled up next to each other in our camp sheets, looking up at the stars, spotting constellations. Maybe our hands might reach out across a pot of coffee and touch and there'll be a spark of electricity. Maybe nothing will happen. Then again... maybe my Milky Bars will be on him?... (that's really horrible)" Ah - Adam and Sullivan are boyfriends.
* Brooke cannot win a game of Poker: "Just play worse! JUST LET ME WIN!"
* Laurie's done an epic turn.
* Adam to Brooke: "Come on Wild Bill! Do something fucking mental!" but that turns to "How about you go a-fucking-way?" Inside he's very proud, outside he's furious.
* Laurie's heavily armed and stacking up the points as always. Brooke has set Adam up for him so very badly.
* Adam on Brooke: "I want to see her hang!" Retribution is swift. Now they're locked up together they'll have lots to talk about.
* Laurie: "Billy the Kid? You're Billy the Man now - and that man is very angry."
* Adam's out of prison and heading straight for the bank and another fight.
* Brooke: "Adam, if you're watching this now, I'm genuinely very sorry. But I had to do it! You'll take Sullivan from me!" She will be accepting no compliments.
* Watch this. Watch it now... Sullivan: "Why you with me, Wild Bill? Why you with me? You said... I said ... I said to you very clearly Wild Bill, I did not want you over here. OK? There is a lawman who's up the legendary point track and you're coming for me Wild Bill? Just cos you see money? You see me and you see a bunch of money! I'm more than a bunch of money - I'm a bit of a legend but look at this man over here! Why are you doing this Wild Bill? Wild Bill, why? Why would you do this? Why would you? No, answer me Wild Bill!" Brooke: "Imma rob ya" Sullivan: "For God's sake Wild Bill, why you robbin' me? Why you robbin' me? Tell me!" Brooke: "Wild Bill's after wild bills. Wild Bill wants some wild bills - from you!" That's the COWPOKE OF THE DAY!
* Sullivan is apoplectic with rage. Brooke is chaos incarnate. Adam's struggling to breathe. Laurie's watching them destroy themselves again.
* Sullivan didn't fuck over Adam and now Brooke's making him pay. And he's absolutely paying.
* Brooke: "We're having a lovely time, Sullivan!"
* She's moved to actual deliberate sabotage now. Adam's destroyed, he's looking shell shocked. But oh boy... "Up until this point, my seduction of Sullivan was a long-running joke. I will make it my mission in life to make it a long-running reality. I am taking your man, Brooke Bourgeois, like you took my Western Legends victory from me. I am going to marry him and you will be invited to our fucking wedding. And at the wedding we're selling fucking Milky Bars!"
* Sullivan: "I've never seen someone for no reason - FOR NO REASON - fuck over one other player!" Brooke: "I robbed you too, sweetheart!"
* Brooke: "I'm sorry Adam, I know we're real friends!" Adam: "You know fucking nothing. You know NOTHING". "I can't wait for you to die in the bath!"
* Adam's so broken, he's turning to a life of crime-fighting.
* Adam's running a cabaret of tall blonde ladies. Sullivan's visiting, for revenge.
* Brooke's going to look at non-funny, coffee-drinking, Tottenham-supporting men. And to rob Sullivan again. She ends by royally fucking him over. He may never forgive nor forget.
* Adam: "Hey, think about this though - when all this is said and done, I get to go to a different home than her. You don't get that privilege." Sullivan: "Oh don't worry - she won't be in the home."
* Laurie wins by a mile, Brooke loses by a mile, Adam and Sullivan are the sad angry boys in the middle.

## Scores

* 1st Laurie
* 2nd Adam
* 3rd Sullivan
* 4th Brooke

## Talking Heads

Talking heads are available this episode, mostly in character. Timestamps:

* 4:59 - Sullivan
* 17:45 - Adam
* 24:57 - Sullivan
* 28:01 - Lord Brooke
* 32:13 - Adam
* 40:38 - Sullivan
* 46:31 - Sullivan + Adam (in love... I think?)
* 55:24 - Laurie
* 56:03 - Lord Brooke
* 1:07:43 - Adam
* 1:21:31 - Lord Brooke
* 1:23:58 - Sullivan
* 1:28:10 - Cowpoke of the Day
* 1:28:13 - Lord Brooke + Sullivan (out of love... I think?)
* 1:34:39 - Adam
* 1:36:57 - Laurie
* 1:43:14 - Sullivan
* 1:56:44 - Laurie
* 1:57:00 - Wild Bild Hiccup the mini-movie

## Trivia

* Game introduction and rules are presented by Laurie.
* Chalkboard is updated with a loss.
* An extended version of this episode is available on the No Rolls Barred Patreon.
* We have a song: "Wild Bill Hiccup"

1. ↑ Timestamps provided by Peter on the Patreon Discord