Azula vs. Dodge

"*As I bask in a fact I'm a woman in another class, I laugh that it was on your so-called father's behalf that you were riling up all the butt holes in Ba Sing Se, telling them that the power of fire is the only way.*"
―Dodge[src]
**Azula vs. Dodge** is a three-part series of installments of D.I.T. Rap Battles. It features Azula, the Princess and very brief Fire Lord of the Fire Nation in *Avatar: The Last Airbender*, and Dodge, an egalitarian demon from the Netflix show *Locke and Key*. Both participants are well-known for their remarkable intelligence and magnetism. They are all part of Season Two and were released between 2020 and 2021.

## Lyrics

### Part Two

[**Note:** *Azula is navigating the halls of Matheson Academy, in search of one particular student. Ducking into a broom closet, she taps on the shoulder of someone called Gabe.*]

[**Note:** *Dodge is in red, Azula is in blue, Lo and Li are both in pink, and Jackie Veda is in green.*]

#### **Prologue:**

Happy to see me, Dodge?

You’re assuming I know who that is. Now, who are you?

[**Note:** *Azula proceeds to shoot fire at her shoulder, grab the Identity Key from her pocket while she’s caught off-balance, and jab it into her chin, turning her into Well Lady.*]

#### **Azula:**

A princess that hates you, bitch, now get yo fanny on the rise

I only exposed your ass for the pleasure of kicking it in twice

What a strong female character, obsessed with a fancy door

And you had to get Ellie to pull some strings, you hopeless whore

Got nothing better to do than precede two dates with youngsters fucking

I’m the princess of the Fire Nation, kneel before me, turtle duckling!

I’m an unrivaled firebending prodigy, you ninny,

So get your bony hands on…

Are you sure you want to finish that, dear?

 …these fifteen-year-old titties!

You may be a smarty-pants but my energy alone brings forth fanboys,

Why else do people want you ‘round about as much as bok choy?

Watching you die is going to be the definition of a blast,

I sound more sophisticated than you when I pass gas!

#### **Dodge:**

You seem unhappy, my old friend, like a cruel gymnast-goth chick abuser!

You need some comfort, baby? Here, climb aboard my cruiser.

I'm firm, you’re mad flappy! I’m ripped, you’re so baggy!

Mad ‘cause no one seems to like yo fowl daddy!

I'm holding hands with Kinsey, cross this pair and meet your fate,

While you're five-two and wild, wondering why you can’t get a date!

Ugh, catch the Avatar? God! You need to catch a therapist!

And in the mix get someone to teach you how to be a fucking lyricist!

Note how even in a full insane state I'm a goddess of precision

You’re like your live-action flick: stuffed with poor decisions!

You think you’re so clever, tell that to your humiliator Katara!

My name is power, and power is the only law!

Get back here, daddy’s girl, I’m not finished with you!

If you haven’t got to rethinking your…

[Note: Azula whirls around and clocks her in the head. Taken completely by surprise, Dodge falls to the floor, unconscious.]

Ah… that was fun.

Be that as it may, you've been disturbing school activity a tad too long…

AAH!

## Author's comments

### Part One

*"Well, these two are going to be brutal and go to some explicit places Season One didn't. No guest cameos, though, they're not exactly for lone wolves on the battlefield. I'll say no more, see what you think when it comes. Watch out for Azula's hands, though, they get kinda blue when she's triggered. But Dodge's an expert in the intricate art of strangulation, so I suspect she just might get the last laugh. Until October, buddy."*
## Trivia

* Part One is the first rap battle pitting fictional characters from TV shows.
* Part Two is the first rap battle where the rappers only have one verse each.
* It has been confirmed by D. Isaac Thomas that the possibility of a fourth part isn't likely, leaving Part Three as the last Azula vs. Dodge battle. He said a third one was made to break a tie, as Azula triumphed in the first part, while Dodge triumphed on a larger margarine in the second part, so this was the ultimate tie-breaker, the battle that "mattered" in the long run.
* The third part is currently the second-most one-sided battle, with 89% of voters voting for the Well Lady and 11% for the Fire Nation Princess.
	+ It beat what was once the second-most one-sided battle for years, Rebecca Black vs. Taylor Swift, by a mere difference of 0.57%.
	+ The most one-sided is Mr. Stupid NoHead vs. Xerin Hedashield, by a difference of 3.12%.
* D. Isaac Thomas admitted that Azula is his least favorite character from the *Avatar* franchise and that Dodge is the one girl he's ever truly been in love with, although he didn't always see the respective rappers that way, meaning he most likely used to hold both participants in high esteem.