The Funny Time Chronicles (Full Novel)

It is best to read if from the google doc which has proper formatting

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l04jzlI-gBaAG7vpD8-4g\_Zki7gzkQdqVfYMv4worh0/edit?usp=sharing

Chapter One: The Forsaken Soul

I want haha funy time with carl

I just really want to haave haha funny fun time with carl. Carl makes good jokes mhm yes. Good jokes are funny that carl makes mhm. hahahahahaha. I like carl and his jokes yes. azuz. carl. mhm yes mhm good carl joke mhm yes. good joke, i laugh hard. I fart when i laugh at carl jokes carl azuz mhm haha funny joke carl thank you.

I need haha funy time with carl or im gonna die

i am sick and need a wish. carl pls i need haha funy fun time or im gona die pls i need haha good joke for me or im gonna die i dont wanna die. dieing would hurt a lot and i dont wanna hurt a lot i wanna laugh at haha funy carl jokes carl pls i dont wanna die no carl no i need joke or im gonna die i dont wana go i want to feel good not bad pls i need joke carl i need joke or im gona die pls carl. i got dead cause i laugh at carl joke to much and farrt to harrd now im gona die carl i need joke to save me alive and i need to feel good not bad ouchie pls carl take owie away carl tell funy haha joke make it mhm good yes joke pls i need good haha joke mhm yes yes yes yes yes yes not no bad ouch joke make it good haha mhm joke yes hahahahahaha. thank you carl pls save me my super joke man haha pls

If I dont get funy haha joke funy haha time from carl im gonna die

carl im dieing i need funy joke to make me haha funy go haha ahah hahahahaha carl please tel funy joke real funny good joke good one carl i liked the jokes last week please tell funy joke again or im gona die carl please notice me and tel funy joke for dieing kid carl im only 19 yung boy from alaska in the cold i need haha funy haha joke haha to keep me warm and not die

How im dieing from no haha funy joke carl fun haha time

when i first saw carl i was watching cnn 10 and he was really good. carl was really good at his job. carl did good job telling me news stuff. but at the end of episode carl told a haha funy joke it was very good. i died. then carl told another hahahaha funy joke and made me go "hahahahahahaha" realy loud. but then carl said better joke that made me poop my pants but no one noticed. BUT THEN carl told ANOTHER NEW FUNY HAHA joke, and this one made me poop AND pee my pants and this time everyone noticed and said ew. gorss. girl i like said ew and we would never date and she dumped me after we dated for 5 years. now im dieng from bad sick diseeze and i need new and better haha funy good joke just for me carl pls im gona die if i dont get haha funy joke carl please my blood and soul will be on your hands

Chapter 2: The Relinquished Heart

Update on getting haha funny laugh good time or Im gonna die

carl im doing ok but not good only ok but not good but also only ok. im still dying and i need a haha funny haha good joke for me only please carl im gonna die. carl i dont wanna die. we live in a carl. haha good funny joker joke ahah good. we live in a society haha good funny meme good joke very good mhm yes mhm good mhm mhm mhm yes haha. carl im currently watching cnn10 and forever 21 is closing store. im not 21 tho yet sad face emoji here :(. I see obama on here now. now old white guy. but carl im dying please tell ahah funny joke before i die please carl i dont wanna die from u telling haha funy mhm good joke because u told a haha good funny mhm joke and i farded really hard that i shidded my pants in front of everyone and they laughed now im literally dying carl please . I also got a 4/12 on my spelling test so im getting better on my spelling it was a very good score mhm out of 12 i only got 4 but its a mhm yes good score mhm yes very good hahahahaha im still waiting for a joke from u carl. no more black berry phone segment please just make 10 minutes of telling haha mhm yes good very mhm good haha good jokes carl. now they're talking about phones making drugs inside of water bottles in canada and mexico but idk what that means. now its 10 out of 10 time carl please. now 4th grade kid ran 10k run very fast and he finished, but i think he cheated/. carl ahahahahahahahahahahahah good joke carl i liked it a lot this time but please carl i need a hahahahah good funny joke mhm yes very good mhm yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yse gooood ahahahahahahahahhahahagoooood joke carl please im dying i need a joke or im gonna die die die i dont wanna die tell a good joke for me please love you carl owo uou uwu owowowowowowow carl haha i did owo funny face for funny joke just for you ahah funny joke carl azuz i luv u

Carl Please

Carl please im sick and dying I need a haha funny funny funny funny joke please. I need joke joke haha funny joke. joke joke joke joke joke joke make me go haaaaaaaaaaaaaha. I need to poop. uh oh. stinkyyyy. pooop hahahaha. poopy funny like haha funny carl joke. poop stinky smelly wet funny!! hahahah i made myself poop and laugh!!! uh oh! just like the first carl joke I haerd it made me go hahahahaha then guess what? I FARDED AND POOPED!!!!!!!! Not funny haha! not epic style! CARL its FRIDAY i FUCKING LOVE Fridays! Im sorry i didnt mean to say bad word!!!!!! my mom will spank my butt really hard but i will try not to poop like i poop when i hear haha funny fun joke that is mhm yes very mhm good yes yes yes mhm good funny ahahahahahahaha funy mhm. but carl I really need mhm yes funny mhm joke mhm joke joke joke hokey pokey i need a jokey mhm yes yes yes yes yes. carl im dying in hospital, i sit in bed all day and they make me go pee pee and poop in a metal bowl. carl i dont wanna go pee pee and poop in metal bowl anymore its really cold and not mhm very mhm mhm yes good, its very very very very very very BAD!!!!!!! IT MAKES ME ANGERY!!!!!!! Carl im crying i dont wanna poop and pee pee in bowl cause its messy and doctor spank me for being messy!!!! I wanna go home but I need haha funny good mhm yes mhm good mhm joke very joke good very mhm good yes jokey joke joke good. please carl I love you bye bye good mhm yes mmmmmmmm see you monday carl bye bye no you hang up. no you hang up mhm yes yes. hang mhm up yes yes yse mhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmh bye bye.

Carl

Carl I need haha funny good haha funny mhm yes yes mhm mhm mhm mhm mhm mhm yes yes good very haha mhm mhm yes I need good time fun time good time fun fun fun fun fun mhm yes yes hahahahah good funny joke very good laugh good joke time mhm yes. Carl please I'm dieing and I don't wanna die I don't wanna die because it wouldn't be haha good mhm very good mhm haha funny funny joke time anymore. I had hahaha very mhm good funny joke laugh the first time I went hahaha at your funny joke. I fardded and shidded when I hahad the first time. I was sitting next to my crush, the girl that I like and I fardded and shidded EVERYWHERE and it was SUPER LOUD!!!!!! Carl if you help me save me from no no very bad mhm no no very bad death time then I can get another crush and have hahaha very nice very sexy time with her after our first date!!!! I WANT SEXY MHM GOOD TIME GOOD TIME YES YES YES YES GOOD SEXY, SEXY GOOD!!!! CARL I WANT TO HAVE SEX!!!! CARL! SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXY SEX!!!!!! I WANT TO SEE BOOBIES AND BUTTIES!!!!!!! I don't want poopy farddy time to ruin my chance of having very good SEX. I want to SEX CARL!!!!!!!! But not sex with Carl because that would be GAY. IM NOT GAY!!!!!!! I like BOOBIES AND ASS!!!! Carl please help me and save me with a haha funny joke mhm good joke yes yes good mhm joke joke joke to save me from no no bad die, so I can have haha yes EPIC SEX!!!!!

CARL PLEASE

CARL THE DOCTORS SAID THAT I HAVE 1 WEEK TO LIVE PLEASE HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! CARL I dont want to DIE. Very bad no mhm no no bad bad bad very not good really really bad no fun! Carl I have been asking and praying to you to help me with personal haha funny very good mhm yes good funny jokey joke time joke joke! Please! CARL CARL CARL CARL CARL CARL! I HAD GOOD HAHA Funny very nice good mhm yes weekend this past weekend. This past weekend I had mhm yes yes very nice haha very good weekend on the weekend, this past weekend. I saw the movie Joker with my family this past weekend. I thought it was very good mhm. the Joker also went haha haha haha a LOT in the movie. The Joker also did some bad bad no no bad things in the movie. At least Momma thought that. He went bang bang bang bang bang bang!!!! With a GUN!!! not him, because the Joker isn't GAY! but the joker shit and went bang bang bang with small gun. my mom said it was not good. I thought movie was hahaha very good and fun joker told some ok haha good very good very actually ok very ok kinda goood mhm yes yes yes very ok ok ok ok ok jokes. I went hahahahaha loud in the movies but I DIDNT FARD AND SHIDDDED MY PANTS THIS TIME!!!! EPIC WIN!!!!!!!!!!! I want to take my new crush, who is very HOT and SEXY to go and see it, but I might DIE in a WEEK! Carl I am VERY ANGERY with you and SOCIETY!!!! Carl Im going to come after you and CNN! I liked the Joker movie was haha very good mhm yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! very funny good very funny! I will tell you jokey joke and haha and YOU will haha funny fart and SHIDD your pants in front of EVERYONE!!!! and I WILL GO HAHAHAHAHAH VERY FUNNY VERY GOOD HAHAHAHAHA and you will get sick and start to die like I AM!!! I AM ANGERY! THEN I WILL GO BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!! but not with me because that would be GAY and I AM NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!! I will copy the joker and go hahahahahah hahahahaha after I make bang bang bang with a GUN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CARL I AM DIEING I DONT WANT to DIE, but IF I dont get haha very good mhm yes yes mhm good goodie good good good ha haha me time with carl, then I will do what I have said and fardd and shidd on carl!!!!!! THEN I WILL TAKE OVER AND TELL HAHA HA HA HA HA HA VERY GOOD FUNNY JOKE JOKE JOKE I WILL MAKE CARL THE HAHA HAHA JOKE JOKE JOKE. HIS CRUSH WIFE WILL LAUGH AT HIM. but carl if you tell hahaha very very very very good haha good mhm yes good joke joke hahaha that makes me haha ha ha ha ha very loud it will save me and not make me die then I will be nice but carl i want you to know that i am just very upset and angery over not getting personal haha funny good joke time very nice nice nice and epic style bye

Chapter 3: The Catalyst

CARL CARL CARL HELP HELP

CARL CARL CARL CARL CARL CARL CARL CARL CARL CARL CARL CARL CARL HELP HELP HELP HELP!! I ran away from the doctors because they poked me in the butt! ew!!! gross gross gross no no nasty and GAY! IM NOT GAYYYY!!!!!!!! poke my butt time was very not good and very bad bad no fun no fun time it was bad and not good no haha ha funny fun time and it was ew gross cry and gay time and IM NOT GAY. when they poked me in the butt I punched the doctor in the pee pee and he fell over and i kicked a nurse in the front butt and she fell over and i went haha haha epic funny fun time mhm very mhm yes yes mhm very good and I did a fortnite dance then i ran down the hallway. i ran down the stairs and pushed over a kid in a wheel chair because he was blocking the front door. I did a haha epic fortnite funny dance in front of him too because i felt bad but not really because he was in the way. a big fat security guard tried to hug me for some reason but i kicked him in the pee pee too and spit a booger on his face. then I did ALL of the fortnite funny haha good dances I knew IN FRONT OF HIM! Then the doctor who poked me in the butt came running down the hall after me but I ran REALLY FAST like SONIC! I ran in the parking lot, even though my mom said never to do that. I finally got fast enough to lean forward and push my arms back just like SONIC does, so I can run SUPER FAST. but before I could go zoom zoom realy fast fast time, a car hit me and I fell over. my leg hurt but I kept running because that's what sonic would do. In no time i got back up to ha ha zoom zoom zoom zoom gotta go fasty fast fast zoom speed and ran in the street and didnt get hit by a car this time because i was SUPER SUPER FAST! JUST LIKE ZOOM ZOOM SONIC BOOM BOOM!!! I ran and ran and ran and ran and ran iran as fast as I could and as far as I could. I got really hungry. being hungry is not haha very good good mhm yes, because my tummy goes GRRRRRRRRRRRR and it sounds like a big scary no fun big bear and bears are scary. I found a chili cheese dog truck JUST LIKE SONIC likes! I asked for one and the mean big man so NO! I got really mad and mhm no good fun but I gave the mean guy a purple nurple and he screamed really loud but i laughed because it was haha mhm epic mhm yes epic mhm very nice nipple twisty time. I stole a chili mhm yummy dog and ate it in only 7 BITES!!!!! Im hiding in a dumpster behind my favorite chuck e cheese because they have REALLY yummy pizza and it makes my tummy go mhm yes very good and yummy thank u. But carl im really really really really really sad and having haha not epic no funny joke mhm no joke time because I DIDNT GET TO WATCH CNN 10 TODAY >:( IM NOT HAPPY IM SAD MHM NOT YES AND EPIC!!!!!!

CARL FUCK

CARL IT'S FRIDAY AND IT IS NOT AWESOME LIKE YOU ALWAYS SAY "fridays are awesome" but its NOT awesome!!!!!!! No! No no no not at all epic or awesome style no no no not good mhm no not epic or awesome like fridays mhm mhm mhm mhm no no no no no no no no no no no not at all epic! CARL I havent had haha epic style in a long time. I had to poop in the WOODS today and there was no toilet paper so I had to wipe by poopy butt on someone's driveway and my butthole went owie owie owie owie! NOT EPIC. NO NO NO OWIE POOPY BUTTHOLE GOES OWIE!!!! And after I finished wiping my poopy and owie butthole, the boomer old guy came out and YELLED AT ME with a SUPER angery voice! SUPER DUPER angery and it was scary so I ran SUPER fast like SONIC again! It was not funny epic style because I got hit by a car AGAIN >:( !!!!!!!! He hit me so hard I accidentally POOPED on the car windshield and I rolled over the roof and fell off the back and fell on my head! BIG OUCHIE and I was dizzy and it was owie mhm no no no epic not epic and ouchie. Once I started running again I realized I FORGOT MY PANTS AND UNDERWEAR!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! THE mad boomer took them. haha mhm yes very mhm mhm mhm yes funny joke joke jokey joke is on him. Those are my POOPY PANTS AND UNDERWEAR HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH POOPY FUNNY POOP PANTS AND POOP UNDIES MHM YES GET POOPY FACE BOOMER MAN!!!!! Once I ran out of the houses and into the street, I saw TWO police cars with the lights on coming after me! No no no, fuck the police! I ran faster than sonic this time, because the police are probably gonna try and do gay stuff to me and IM NOT GAY!!!!!!!!! So I ran faster than sonic and it took a LOT of my power but I outran the cars. BUT then they caught up and HIT ME! I GOT HIT BY TO POLICE CARS but I kept running really really fast because I blinded them by PEEING on their cars!!! hahahahahaha fuck you police man!!! fuck fuck fuck hahahaha mhm yes yes yse pee pee on your bad car car hahahah yes yes yse. CArl its my bedtime and Im sitting under a super big bridge by hobos and they keep looking at my pee pee I think they might be gay, BUT IM NOT GAY. they gave me a drink and there was something small in the bottom of the cup but im really tired now but the water was really good because i was thirsty. good night carl I missed your haha funny joke jokes today and I was kinda sad carl bye bye i love u and ur jokes carl bye bye nighty night night night.

CARL ASS

CARL FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK OH SHIT CARL FUCKITY FUCK MY FUCKING ASS HAHAHAHAH JK IM NOT GAY GAY GAY IS BAD!!!!! Carl I woke up from the funny haha mhm yes very fizzy water that the hobos gave me and my butthole hurt and I couldnt walk right because my bum bum was owie owie very not good mhm yes no not yes. idk why my bootyhole hole hurts and it isnt very nice mhm no no no not epic mhm. anyway I walked and ran all day, I walked and ran and walked and ran and walked and ran again SUPER VERY FAST just like SONIC, except I was FASTER. This time I didnt get hit by a car and didnt get hurt and shit and poop and piss and pee on a car because of getting hit by a car while running so i was able to keep running because i didnt get hit by a car while i was running so i kept running SUPER FAST like sonic. but FASTER than SONIC. I ran to the big kids school the other day because thats where I ran yesterday and they were having mhm nice nice nice good dance! idk what the dance was but I couldnt get in because I forgot I didnt have any PANTS ON!!!!!! NOOOOOO! so I found a younger big kid and beat him up with my big strength and took his pants so i could get in. i walked in and the big kids were having SEX but with clothes on! WHAT! and MUSIC! play! FUCK! so i walked up in the crowd and a girl gave me a BIG WET KISS! EW! COOTIES NO no NO NO NO NO NO  NO NOT EPIC NO! I didnt want to go back to the hospital and get poked in the butt butt by the doctors again so I started to run REALLY fast! BUT THEN, a fat girl pushed her BIG FAT ASS on to me, and she SAT ON ME!!!!!! EW EW EW EW EW EW EW! As a super epic defense mhm defense tactic, I pulled my pants down and shit and pooped and peed and pissed EVERYWHERE!!!! IT WAS TOTALLY MHM YES EPIC!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA EPIC STYLE, GOT EM, MHM YES EPIC EPIC HAHA FUCK YOU BIG FAT GIRL HAHAHAHA POOP AND PEE ON YOUR DRESS!!!!!! she screamed and got off of me. since i had my poop and pee ALL over my body, i got up and ran then jumped and slid on the floor, and i slid SUUUUPER FAR and FAST. then I got up and kept running. i looked back and saw everyone looking at me and my poopy and peey butt and the poop shit piss and pee streak i left on the gym floor. PRANKED AHAHAHHA EPIC STYLE. i kept running super fast. I ran to a park and scared the kids away. some of the older but not epic big big kids didnt leave so i beat them up and THEN pooped and peed on them! HAHA EPIC PRANK. I was super tired because the big fat girl sat on my and made me tired so i am going to sleep now on the epic playset and I am going to peep and poop all over the playset to make it mine so no one will go on it ever again because it is mine and i want it to be mine so its mine and no one is allowed to go on it again because it is mine mhm epic claim epic victory mhm yes very nice nice epic victory royale mhm ahaha very good mhm yes by carl I love you and wish you were the one who sat on me at the dance and not the big ugly fat girl. bye bye carl mhm bye bye bye love you carl OwO

CARL PEEPEE

CARL CARL CARL I WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN FEELING LIKE PEE PEE ASS FUCK FUCK FUCK. i woke up from the playset, and i was really really really cold and it was mhm not god no not good cold is not fun or good or fun no mhm yes funny fun time. i havent heard haha funny joke from carl yes joke in a long time which is not good at all its very not haha mhm yes very good so that means by my calculations its not mhm good or fun mhm. when i woke up on the poopy and peeye playset i was cold and my peepee was inside my pee pee and it was really really cold. i heard kesha music coming from a car parked on the street and i couldnt help but dancing. i danced a lot. i danced really hard as hard as i could. i danced and danced. danced and danced and danced and danced. I danced over to the car, which was a black car with really black windows. I danced up to it and the door opened. a FAT man got out and said that i had nice moves, and to keep it up, and that hes proud of me. i dont really know what any of that means so i just kept dancing. my pee pee kept flinging side to side, side side to side, then a lady who smelled like smoke and who wasnt wearing a lot of clothes got out and said that the fat man was gonna have to pay extra if I was gonna jump in. im not really sure what that meant but then he said ok and the lady grabbed me and threw me in the car. they wrestled in the front seat for a few minutes and then the lady touched me in the pee pee and it was pretty mhm nice good and i liked it so mhm yes good good nice nice good, but i liked it too much i peed!!!!!!!!! the pee went everywhere on the ladys boobies and face and it was kinda funny!!! prank! the pee also got on the fat guys face!!!! He yelled at me then i got so scared i POOPED and it was SUPER STINKY!!! he tried to grab me but I was too fast and punched him in the face, and i punched the lady in the front butt and she just moaned which was really weird. I ran out the door and past my playset. i decided to jump in the lake to clean my pee off of my body. i swam and swam and swam and swam more. i kept swimming and to be honest it felt mhm nice and good and nice and good it was pretty mhm fun yeah. yeah yea yea. i felt fish when i was swimming and it was pretty epic. one fish put its mouth on my peepee and it was really weird, so i punched it off. i punched it super hard and it fell off. so i picked it up and threw it out of the water so that it could suffer and die. good fish is dead, haha epic nae nae time. then i felt a poke on my pee pee and it HURT. I punched and punched, but there wasnt a fish. i kept punching my pee pee, which hurt REALLY BAd. it was bad bad bad mhm no not good mhm no no no no not cool. I kept punching my pee pee so much that i threw up and IT WAS NOT COOL!!!!!!! NO NO NO NO! then the sharp thing started pulling on my pee pee, owie owie owie ouch ouch ouch UGH OOF NO! then i got pulled super hard and super fast to another fat man sitting on a dock and he didnt notice he caught my pee pee and not a fish. I pulled the big fat rod out of his hands and got up out of the lake. I pushed him over with my super strength and ripped his pants off and shoved the fishing pole up his butthole and he didnt scream he moaned! no no no no no no no! HE WAS GAY!!!! GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY I DONT LIKE GAYS. im not homophobic but I JUST DONT LIKE GAYS, THEY ARE GAY and IM NOT GAY!!!!!!! I beat him up more and threw him in the lake and idk if he could swim but it doesnt matter. i just saw a bunch of bubbles from the water so i dont know what that means but then a group of black guys walked up behind me and slapped my ass. i said sorry because i thought i was in trouble but then they said, damn boy you got cake. I said no because I didnt have any birthday cake because it wasnt my birthday. they said they could take me to a joint. i asked what that meant and they said it was a club. i like clubs so i said ok and they put me in a BIG van and drove me. they gave me a funny haha drink like the hobos gave me before. everything they said sounded like carl. I started laughing because it was just like hearing carl again; I miss carl. carl always said haha funny carl good mhm jokes. but then i fell asleep. night night carl bye bye.

Chapter 4: The Tenebrous Age

UH OH CARL

carl i woke up in a dark room. I still had no pants. i guess i also threw up a lot because there was a BIG stain on my shirt. it was sticky. i woke up in a dark room and i still didnt have pants and there was puqe on my shirt. i heard loud bopping and groovy music and i just couldnt help myself so i started to dance and dance a lot. i danced and danced, and danced and danced. then i heard shouting and loud thuds. i dont really know what that was but i just kept dancing. then like 30 minutes later the door opened and one of the black people from before told me it was showtime. still didnt know what that meant so i just followed him and i kept dancing as i followed him. i asked him what showtime was because i thought it was the tv channel, and i like tv. he said to shut the fuck up and told me to give them a fun time. I said oh ok i like having mhm good yes fun time so i was very very very excited to give a haha mhm yes good very nice mhm good time. he took me down a long hallway and then he pushed me thru curtains and there was lots of lights and a runway. the music was really loud and i thought it was a fashion show, so i started walking like the models do. the girl models anyway because theyre hot and the male fashion models are gay, and im not GAY. the people started clapping and cheering so it was a good mhm yes nice good time that i was doing and i was happy. they started dropping money on the stage, so I gave it back to them and they called me retarded but im not retarded because im not gay and gays are retarded. mhm im normal yea yea yea. i got to the end of the runway and there was a GIANT pole. im not sure what that was for, but they said to dance, so i did all the fortnite dances that i knew. i did the floss, the elektro shuffle, the flapper dance, orange justice, and the epic haha nice epic style nice epic haha funny DAB at the end. i walked back off the stage but before i could i slipped on something and fell. i hit my head on the stage and fell off. the people cheered and said they were gonna show me a haha good funny nice nice time. They let me sniff a haha funny snow. i dont know what it was but i felt really happy after smelling the haha funny salt. its a lot better than smelling glue so it was epic. then they let me breathe broccoli. i dont really like broccoli but the broccoli was yummy. i dont know why but everything was super haha mhm yes funny. not as good as carls jokes but it was still SUPER DOOPER FUNNY ahahahahahaha epic mhm nice nice nice nice nice epic coolio cool beans cool cool cool epic mhm yes. after that i was tired and went to sleep.

CARL?

I woke up again in the big room. The haha nice nice nice nice nice epic funny salt and mhm yes nice haha broccoli made me super tired. so i woke up in the big big dark room again. I heard the music again, and i just had to DANCE. I DANCED AGAIN. and another guy came in and told me to give them a good dance show. i was already dancing so i was ready to get groovy and dance. I still had no pants. I danced and danced and danced on the shiny pole. it was shiny and people kept dropping money on the stage. it was very epic that i was getting money so that was nice. there was one lady with a really raspy voice, and really saggy skin who called me sugar. i like sugar. so it was mhm nice nice nice nice nice that she called me sugar. then a black lady told me to keep dancing baby. that made me feel really mhm nice good yuhuh mhm epic, so i danced faster and faster, and harder and harder. After i finished dancing, they put me back in my room. but i didnt get any haha snow or funny broccoli!!!! NOOOO NOT EPIC. so i got up from my room and opened the door to get some broccoli and snow from the fridge. there were still a bunch of people around so i snuck in and around people very stealthy epicly. i kept getting my ass slapped so that was NOT epic! no no no no mhm no not epicly yuhuh mhm nice. i walked up to the bar, because i was thirsty and wanted orang juice. it was at that exact second, moment, instance, moment, second mhm. that i heard the voice. i heard someone say "FRIDAYS ARE AWESOME" I knew the voice. the voice of CARL. I whipped and nae naed my head to the right and I saw him. CARL. I SAW CARL IN PERSON. I asked for orang juice and they give me bubbly orang juice and it tasted weird. I walked up to CARL and he slapped my ass and said good shit boy! but then one of the big black men slapped my ass SUPER HARD and pushed me away from carl. They got SUPER mad and sent me to bed. they took my orang juice away too! :( not epic style. Im crying and tired now but I SAW CARL. I SAW CARL CARL CARL CARL CARL. i hope i will see you again carl. one way or another i will see you carl bye carl goodnight carl mhm muuuah!

I SAW CARL AT THE BAR

I WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN FEELING LIKE P DIDDY. I saw carl last night. I saw him. I know for a fact it was carl. seeing carl made me warm and mhm nice inside. it was epic haha nice. carl slapped my ass. i think he liked making it ripple. he liked my booty. but wait. carl is married. i know carl is married. carl is mhm yes very good good straight. what? what was carl at bar where I was dancing super duper fast? I was dancing and dancing and dancing fast fast fast and fast. why would carl be there if he was straight?????? WAHT? is carl GAY? No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no carl cant be gay being gay is neigh neigh bad bad not good neigh like the horse goes neeeigh and not like the nae nae, the nae nae is straight and good. the good nae nae is straight and mhm. carl was drinking bubbly drink and was laughing. was he telling jokes? I think he was telling mhm nice nice nice nice good jokes. but i couldnt hear the jokey joke jokes. I got up and knocked on the door. I pounded and pounded hard hard hard hard. i pounded hard and hard and hard and hard. finally one of the black people opened up the door and told me to shut the fuck up. i felt sick and threw up on him. bleeeuugh! I went! Go! He said aw SHIT! poop. so I pooped on command. but i didnt pee. I told him I saw carl. He said to shut the fuck up. He told me it was time for funny salt and haha veggies. carl. I got excited so I ran super duper fast. ZOOM! I jumped and did a Call of Duty Black Ops dolphin dive onto the table with the haha funny salt. I sniffed all of it as I slid on the table. carl. Everything was hahaha nice epic epic epic! I said I wanted my vegetables but people just slapped my bare raw ass. I started laughing so hard I PEED on the table!!!!! They slapped my ass SUPER HARD this time so I got up and ran again. I ran into the wall on accident so I got up again and ran into a chair. OWIE! FUCK! I got up again and ran and I ran into a fat girls ASS. IT SMELLED! EW! When I ran into her fat ass, my face was buried in ass. I had to pull myself out. but i kept laughing from the haha nice funny salt. she asked me where I was goin, sugar? I said I need to see carl. she said carl left yesterday. fuck. fuck. she said she was gonna show me a good time. so the big black lady picked me up and shoved her boobies in my face and I couldnt breathe. I got a small breath of air then she did it again. hmbvmbbmhmmbmbmhmbmhmbmmm is what I went. I went mhmhmvmvmvmbmhmbmmbmmmmm. then she set me down slapped my ass. she told me to go eat my veggies so I did. I ate my veggies and I saw sounds. sounds are weird. guga googa mooga gaga. nice. Carl. I ran more and more. and with every 100 steps i took i pooped 100 pounds. poop run poop run. this time they didnt get mad at the poop and pee because they have a poop collecter who sells poopy poop, and smelly and sticky poop. they said mine was rare so I could earn a lot of money off of it. the poop collecter was very nice because he gave me a piece of paper that had 100,000,437.00 on it but i cant count that high so I just put it in my shirt pocket. i guess thats mhm nice. epic style. carl. I got tired and went to bed. I couldnt sleep. I kept thinking about CARL. I think I wanna go see carl now. Im coming Carl. I love you carl no homo but you did slap my ass and I liked it. bye bye for now carl. muah muah muah mhm nice cute cute cutie cute sexy sex mhm nice good good, very good mhm nice nice, very mhm nice good.

Chapter 5: The Trials of Inclination

I RAN CARL

I WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN FEELIN MY RAW ASS. Carl today I made up my mind. I was gonna leave da club. My butt hurt so much because it was raw because they slapped my ass until it was raw. it felt mhm nice good mhm thank you mhm nice at first, but now it feels mhm no thanks aha uhuh mhm no not good no thank you mhm. So I danced my danced one more time. I danced and danced and danced and danced. dancing good uhuh mhm nice good dance. I danced and danced until I couldnt dance no more. They kept giving me more and more money, which I kept this time. I put it all in my shirt pocket. I kept doing all the fortnite dances I knew, as hard and as fast as I could. Dance dance dance; dance dance dance. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm good fun. They let me smell the haha funny salt and haha funny broccoli. When I was done smelling and breathing the good haha's, I took bags of the salt and broccoli out of the big men's pockets when they were taking naps. I also got my ass slapped more, which hurt a lot. MY ASS IS RAW. OWIE. They sent me to my room to sleep again. BUT I WASNT GOING TO SLEEP THIS TIME. I PRETENDED to go to sleep. I pretend and pretend and pretend. after about one hour I fell asleep. Oops. So I woke up and walked out the door. I went to the bathroom cause I was thirsty so I drank out of the sink. I also decided to pee AND poop in the sink. Then I walked out into the bar, and everyone was gone. I decided to steal some haha funny juice too. When I was about to walk up the stairs to the front door, I heard some guy shout YO WHAT THE FUCK BRO! so I ran SUPER FAST LIKE FUCKING SONICCCCCCCC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SONIC ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM SUPER FAST. THey chased after me, but I was faster. They got in cars and drove after me, but I was faster. They drove up behind me and started SHOOTING GUNS at me! Before I knew it my fast legs took me back to the hobos that gave me haha funny water. The car pulled up to the hobos, but the hobos started running at the car, and they pulled the guys out of the car, and started taking their guns and money and haha funny salt and haha funny broccoli. then they started taking off their clothes, which was weird. I started to turn and walk away, and I heard the guys shout NO NOT MY ASS WHAT THE FUCK! So I think the hobos were giving them spankings but Im not really sure. I left the haha funny broccoli as a thank you gift for the hobos. One hobo said "Thanks baby sweet cheeks!" and slapped my ass as a thank you for the broccoli, so I slapped his as back and he was like, "Oh yeah baby" But I kept walking. I kept walking and walking and walking. I found some good mhm nice dinner in a dumpster in an alley behind a taco bell and I ate the dinner. It was cold but it was a good burrito. So I slept because I was tired. Tomorrow Im gonna find out where carl is and find carl because I need haha funny nice good time with carl. See you soon carl, bye bye, good night mhm muah muah muah love you carl no homo love you because Im not gay goodnight moon.

CARL COLD COLD COLD

I WAKE UP IN MY ASS AND MY ASS IS COLD. my ass is cold cold cold cold. my whole body is cold. it started snowing last night and it is super duper duper mega cold. the snow covered my whole body from head to toe and toe to toe and toe to hands to head to toe again. i jumped out of the dumpster but i slipped and fell and fell on my head, then on my ass. i accidentally went to sleep when i fell so i woke up again after a long time and it was STILL COLD. and my ass still hurt. and me head was going boom boom my head hurt. so i got up and started walking. walk walking walk walk the walk but not talk the talk because i wasnt talking yet. i was walking and people started staring at me because i still had no pants on. I had poop and pee stains on my ass and legs. I walked past a blind begging person and they smacked my ass. idk how he knew where my ass was because he was blind, so i punched him in the dick and started running because he yelled and someone else yelled and started chasing me. i ran and ran fast and fast again. i ran up to another black man who was selling broccoli and stole his big gun. i turned around and shot the blind guy and the other guy chasing me. then i shot the black guy because selling broccoli is illegal. so i kept the gun and ran and ran, and ran some more. i kept running but i slipped in the snow and skid on my ass down the hill street. i slid and slid and slid. i started going super fast so much that my raw ass started to bleed in the snow, so i flipped over to my pee pee. i hit a bump and flew onto the sidewalk and i hit two people walking. I get up and look at the people. CARL? I yell. uh yeah kid? I get up again and hug carl and say CARL ITS YOU AGAIN. He pushed me off of him. probably because i was too cold. he said he never saw me before. but he did at the dance party club. I tell him he saw me at the dance party club where they did haha funny water haha funny salt and haha funny broccoli, and that he even smacked my ass. carl looked super scared and said he didnt know what i was talking about. then carl saw that i had a gun and yelled i had a gun. he yelled that i had a gun and punched me in the face and ran. idk who the girl was that was with him but i think it was his wife. so i kept running after him but i got hit by a car AGAIN and carl got away. so i got up and pointed the gun at the person at the car and told them to get out. they got out and ran away. i got in the car and put on the heated seats because my ass was cold. then i drove super fast after carl.  i drove super fast. i saw carl on the sidewalk and started driving right next him. He told me to leave him alone but I NEEDED to have haha funny mhm nice good very nice good mhm nice time. then he turned around and ran the other way so I turned too but I went off the bridge and flipped over and went to sleep because i crashed good night.

Chapter 6: The Descent

Carl there is blood everywhere

Carl I WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN and there is blood everywhere. blood blood blood blood. red red red red red no good not fun it hurts carl im hurting it hurts carl i need help please help. carl you told me you didnt know me. you said that you didnt know me but you slapped my ass and did the haha stuff with me. I never got a personal haha funny joke time with you carl. Im still dieing from my disease when i ran away from the doctors. i dont feel so good mr azuz. carl please. carl im bleeding from my head and my ass. also the cuts all over my body from the car crash. carl you ran away from me. carl you disowned me. carl you have forsaken me. you have left me to die carl. just because I was naked, poopy and peeyee, and had a gun. carl im hurt. carl im hurt no haha noo epic both mentally physically emotionally and mentally. carl i have a gun. carl a gun goes bang bang. carl i feel like its time for someone else to feel the pain i have felt. i feel like my time of hurting and not getting haha funny time joke time is over. hahahahahahahahaha. what if i did that carl? what if i made someone else hurt? would it make you happy? would you FINALLY tell me a haha funny joke carl? Im gonna get up now. carl im crying. I got up out of the car, blood everywhere. blood on my ass, my head and my peepee. I started walking. i started walking and walking. i saw a hobo come up and slap my ass and so i bent him over and stuck my peepee up his ass because they did it to me. he started yelling happy yells. so I kept going harder and harder, faster and faster. I stopped. then started walking again. You would think that's gay, BUT IM NOT GAY. I DID IT TO HURT HIM CARL. but the same hobo ran after me and stuck his peepee up my ass so i turned around and stuck my pee pee up HIS ASS AGAIN. hahahahahaha got em epic style and i went so fast he started saying oooo yeah owie ooh yea, so that means I hurt him really bad carl. I did it for you carl. I still have my gun. i want to hurt someone carl. I can hurt people in many ways carl. I will get haha funny joke time from hurting people carl. Then once I get MY haha funy jokey joke mhm nice good time, then show you a haha funny good mhm nice good very good time IF you dont tell me a haha mhm nice epic style good meme good funny time. I kept walking and found a old hotel. I shot my gun and told them to give me a room they did and i said i will hurt them if they call the police. so carl i am going to take a nap. but wait theres a knock on my door. it was a man dressed in netting and said he wanted to fuck me. We're not married so i said no and shot him in the pee pee and he ran away crying. i hurt someone carl. i hurt someone again. i hurt someone again just for you carl. now im gonna take a nap carl bye bye good night mhm.

Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN FEELIN SEXY. sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy mhm very sexy. I woke up in bed and my pantsless legs were cold in the air. my peepee was cold and my ass was warm because it was on the bed. i got up and walked to the bathroom i tripped and hit the wall and my head went thud thud on the wall. i got up but fell backwards not mhm very cool and epic. i got up and ran into the bathroom, but it was right in front of me and the door was closed. i slammed my head and my dick into the door and I fell over and screamed a loudly loud scream and said REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I got up and opened the door with both of my asscheeks clenched on the door knob. That was haha very nice sexy butt action. I walked in and looked in the mirror. I turned the shower on. I kept my shirt on because it was dirty. I got in the shower and scrubbed and scrubbed and drank the shower water. I also took a mad fucking shit in the tub and stomped on it over the drain. POOP WAFFLE YUMMY but I wont eat the poop waffle because its mine. I cleaned and got out. I grabbed the towel but I slipped and fell on my ass. OWIE. I got up and shat in the tub one more time. I walked out and turned the TV on. I turned on CNN and there he was. Carl........Carl. Carl caarl carl carl carl carl. my baby, my lover. the man that loved me, then hated me. why carl. why WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYYYYY. Carl I reached deep deep deep into my ass and grabbed a fat shit and threw it at the tv where your face was but I missed and hit the wall. some shit splattered back at me and it was not epic mhm nice mhm very cool mhm very epic yeah yeah yeah yeeeeeeeeah not cool epic mhm no no no. I fell back onto the bed. and I cried. then I stopped. then I took out my dick and rammed it into the tv. Carl basically sucked my pp. haha hes gay now. I felt my hair be super duper long. so I looked in the mirror. I looked like the haha funny man. funny man joker. society. I took the shit out of my ass and smeared it into the joker look and smiled. it smelled nice and I said we live in a society. poopy. we live in a haha funny poop society. a shitty society. uh oh STINKY. THen there was a knock at the door. I pondered what the sound was and I reached the conclusion that it was a knock at the door. I wondered who could have made the knock at the mhm door and then they said housekeeping. I reached the conclusion that the person who had made the knock at the door is housekeeping. I pulled out my gun and opened the door. Only it wasnt a housekeeper it was a lady not wearing many clothes. she said shell offer herself for some money, I said ok and she took everything off and I touched her boobys. then her butt. we had mhm nice very good mhm nice sexy sex ahahahahahah told you i wasnt gay you fucking morons. Then I told her to get out because I didnt have any money or haha funny salts or haha funny broccoli left. Then when she said she needed the money I took more poop and threw it at her and pushed her out the window. not the poop on my face though thats the joker poop face. she fell a mighty fell and fell onto a car and i heard a loud boom crash thud pop owie. then I looked out the window and there she was. she forgot her clothes though. so I threw them down to her. she said shell be back asshole. So i guess im gonna have more free sexy sexy mhm nice very cool and nice. Im gonna be seriously serious and honest carl. I prentended it was you for only like a few minutes then I went back to it being the girl. but before I go to bed for the night and go nighty night night, I must say that we live in the society mhm yes yes yes mhm nice nice nice yeah yeah yeah ver good mhm HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JOKEY JOKE JOKEER MEMEMEMEMEMEME ME

Carl im changing and i cant stop it

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN AND MY DICK HURTS. idk why but my peepee is BURNING HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT. OWie owie owie no good no fun mhm no no no no no no no. I got up out of bed and ran to the bathroom to dunk my dick in the cool cool cold water. it felt mhmmmmmmm niiiiice good. because it was cold and my pee pee was hot. not as in sexy hot, but it felt like it was on fire. but im sexy anyway just so everyone knows. someone said keep up the good work and i said thank u and they are sexy. anyway when my dick was cooled off, I heard a knock at the door. I presume the door made a knock sound because someone knocked on it. when I approached the door, and opened it, my hypothesis was correct. MMMMMMMHMMMMMMMM HELL YEAH MOTHAFUCKA. i was right fuck. fuck. it was my sexy wife girlfriend that i fucked then threw out the window. she said she would be back and there she was she was back. and she brought her guy friends. one of them had a lot of tattoos and one looked really fucking gay and retarded. they pulled guns on me and said to give them money. I didnt have any so I pulled my gun out of my ass, which serves as a holster for the gun. I forgot to turn the safety off so when I pointed it at the gay retard, I shot him on accident. OOPS i said outloud. OOPS is what I said and the guy with drawings on his skin said ayo what the fuck dude? I told him his mommy shouldn't let him draw with markers on his skin. so I told him to fuck off because he is dumb then i told my wife to get in because i want sexy sex time again. the guy ran away then my sexy wife girlfriend came in. I told her to get naked and she did. we had mhm nice sexy sex again and she liked it a lot. then after 3 hours I heard a knock at the door saying police. I looked outside and there was a black truck that said SWAT on it. Idk what that means but it looked scary. so I jumped out the window leaving my wife girlfriend. I missed her and i am sad. but then i ran to the truck and jumped in. except i had to pull a policeman out and shoot him in the pee pee. I took the guns in the truck and drove in the truck. I hit a few cars and a lady and a stroller. oops I said but it was also like playing GTA which makes me violent because GTA is a naughty game. that game has boobys. I kept driving and I drove and drove and drove. THe police came along for a ride but then I shot them in the dicks and tires so they couldnt. I kept driving and driving. there was only one place I knew that would accept me for who I am. the hobos. Im going home to the hobos who slapped my ass and gave me the haha funny salt and haha funny broccoli. I pulled the truck up to their fire and got out. I looked at them and said TRUCK. then I looked back inside the truck and said GUN. they said OK. I walked and sat my bare raw ass down and it hurt then they gave me some funny water and i went to sleep because i am tired good night carl i had sex bye bye.

Carl im becoming a monster

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN AND THERES A MASSIVE COCK IN MY ASS. AAAAAAAH OOOOOO FUCK NO NO NO NO OWIE FUCKY STICKY S T I N K Y POOOOP NONONO NOT EPIC AAH WOOOOOOOOWIE PEE PEE IN MY BOOTAY MMMMMMMHM SUGAR NO JK ITS NOT FUN GAY GAY GAY GAY NOT GOOD NO SIR NOT ME MHM NO. there is a hobo with his fat fucking massive ass motha fuckin cock INSIDE OF MY ASS. and he is fucking and fucking and fucking and fucking my ass what the fuck you fucking gay! Im not homophobic, I just really fucking hate gays. I tried to get up but he just kept fuckin fuckin fuckin. it did NOT feel mhm nice good or fun. I pulled my gun on his ass and fuckin busted a cap in his ass. teach him right mothafucka mhm. He died but his massive fucking wet dick was still in my ass so I shot his dick off and pushed him away. HAha he was gay and died. I got up and looked around. All the hobos were fucking eachother and I was confused. I was confused as to why these homeless men were interacting in sexual activites with one another. I was perplexed as to why these individuals who are without housing are engaging in sexual intercourse in such conditions with the other homeless men. I no get why hobos fuck hobos. They looked at me, but they didnt care that I just fucking murdered that guy. TO be fair he was butt fucking my shitty and pissy RAW ASS. Then I saw one hobo, just standing there. he was tall. he was a ginger with blue eyes. I asked him his name and he just said Mmmm. I think he's fucking retarded and can't talk. must kinda suck to mhm be fucking retarded not nice no not fun. He looked at my massive throbbing cock but it wasn't massive or thobbing YET because Im not into gays, only hot sexy women in my area. I told him my life story. How I needed haha funny fun joke time with carl, and that I have a disease that was killing me. that the doctors only stuck things in me so I ran away. I told him everything that happened in the party club and all that stuff. When I finished telling him the story he just looked at me like a fucking idiot and said "uuuuuh" I could tell he understood because he's a gay retard.  Just then I hear police sirens. The police found me. fuck. The cops pulled up and saw the hobos fucking eachother and me standing with my dick out. they saw the dead gay hobo, and they saw my new friend Mmmm. THey got out of their cars and said man what the fuck. THen they said to get down. I said no and that they're retarded. I started singing fuck the police cummin straight from the underground. and I shot the bad men. Then the hobos got in the cars and their guns and put them under the bridge and said we are gonna keep them. I said ok. Carl Im thinking about doing something but i dont know if im gonna do it. carl just know that its all for you and me. bye bye goodnight sleep tight fucker.

Carl I think i started a fucking gang war

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN FEELIN MY THROBBING COCK IN THE ASS OF A FUCKING GAY HOBO. OH GOD OH FUCK FUCK FUCK I CUMMMED!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I AM NOT GAY FOR THE 50th FUCKING TIME IM NOT GAY NO GAY NOT ME NO SIR NO NO NO NOT GAY HAHAHAHAH GAY NOT ME LOL IM STRAIGHT AS FUCK. THe hobo moved his butt up and down after I had CUMMMED. I moved my massive throbbing cock out of his ass. And I pulled a gun out of MY ass and shot him in the asshole. He didnt die which was good. I jumped out of the police truck and said we are going to go. The hobos said ok. I had shit on my ass, shit on my dick, and shit on my shirt. We took all the police guns and heavy shirts. I think the shirts were metal wifebeater shirts. we put those on. We took all the cars and trucks and drove out for like 5 minutes before we ran into some black people. we didnt hit them. I got out and they told me that I owe them for the haha funny salts and haha funny broccoli. WAIT. They were the black people who had me dance dance like its the last night of your life. cause baby toniiiight the djs got us fallin in love again. I said hahaha mhm nice nice nice I like to dance and shake my booty. so I started dancing dancing as dance as as dance as I could dance mhm good it was fast and nice and good and nice and dance. they told me to shut the fuck up and stop dancing. I COULDNT STOP DANCING THO BECAUSE THE MUSIC WAS IN MY BONES, therefore one can come to the conclusion that the music was therefore in my ass and in my massive FUCKING COCK. one of the black men told me to fucking stop waving my dick around, I told him to fucking suck my massive cock, but no homo because I AM NOT FUCKING GAY. then he whistled and a bunch of other cars with black people pulled up. THen a bunch of hobos got out of the police cars and trucks and said that my fatass and massive cock belongs to the hobos. then a black man pulled out a gun and shot the gay hobo who put my dick in his ass, in the head. OH FUCK. UH OH. Then all the hobos and all the black men started shooting. This engaged my EPIC 420 MLG GAMER I took one of the big guns from the police van and started doing quick scopes. I missed a few but I finally landed a quick scope headshot EPIC. Then I climbed up on the police van, but I slipped and fell and hit my forehead on the truck, then my ass when ka-dunk a thunk on the ground. I climbed back up and slipped again and smacked my head on the fucking van owie ouch no no fun mhm no not good. But I finally made it up on the van, and I jumped off, doing a 360 but I didnt spin around all the way and accidentally shot a hobo in the fucking head. So I climbed back up, did a 360 and HIT A BLACK MAN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 360 epic. Now we had started to move up. I ran over to my first kill and started teabagging him. My balls smacked him in the face haha epic style. I shot another man in the dick. the black men kept running away, and we screamed like a bunch of fucking retards. mhm nice epic we win victory royale mutha fucka. well carl, im going to bed in the new hotels we stole from the black men. Good night sleep tight mhm nice nice nice good very good nice very good gun gun gun mhm nighty night night carl. I HAVE A FUCKING GIANT COCk

Chapter 7: The Reclamation

Carl I got a new wife and shes thicc as FUCK

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN and im alone. Im very lonely and its not epic. not cool. not haha funny. not mhm good. its very mhm sad. im alone and sad. cry time not good very mhm not fun cry time not good very sad. Sad! I woke up in my bed and heard a knock at the door I jumped out of bed and landed wrong and smashed my head into the fucking wall. owie. I went to the door, and I walked to the door. As I approached the door I opened the door and I saw my good friend Mmm behind the door! Hello my good friend Mmm who is behind the door. I said. Hello Mmm and in response, the tall, red haired retarded ginger said mmm. He showed me a white girl next to him and pointed to her. she was lookin very mhm nice and good and pretty. she said hi. My heart started to beat like a drunk father beats the shit out of his family. haha epic. She looked at my fucking massive throbbing cock and said oh shit. I said my eyes are up here baby. she said ok. I asked her if she wanted to go on a date and she said yes. mhm nice EPIC SCORE YES YES YES YES YES. I asked her what her name was and she said Laurel. I tried pronouncing it but i forgot im fucking retarded and could only say laul lol. she laughed. I told her it wasnt funny and told her to shut the fuck up. she laughed and said ok with a smile. mhm nice. I said the date is at 7pm tonight at the hotel bar. Mmm said MMM and walked away with her. I guess i have a date night tonite. MHM NICE. I figured i have to get dressed up and look nice. I needed new clothes. I took my long gun and jumped out of the window. I landed feet first and hit a car, my feet hit weird and fell face first on the concrete. owie not epic mhm no. I got up and started walking a walky walk and talking the talky talk. I walked up to FOrever 21, like carl mentioned before in CNN10. I walked in and the employee looked at my poopy and dirty shirt and said YO WHAT THE FUCK? then she looked at my massive throbbing cock and said oh fuck youre fucking big. I told her to shut teh fuck up because I have a date tonight and i dont like thots because thots are fucking gay and im not gay. I pointed my long gun at her and told her to get me a suit and she said she didnt have one. But she gave me a t-shirt with a tuxedo on it and I said mhm nice thank you nice store lady this will suit the event tonight very well thank you for the effort you have put forth to afford me nice and proper attire for my romantic evening with a lovely lady I appreciate you thank you. Then she gave me black pants. I said thank you. then I shot her in the tiddy and walked away. bye you ugly fucking thot. I walked back to my room and put my new clothes on. I didnt have any hair gel, so I jacked off and put my hot fucking cum in my hair. it stayed. haha nice epic free hair gel nice nice nice. It was time for my date. I looked fly as hell my gga. haha. I walked to the bar and I saw Mmm in a waiter suit and Laul in a tight dress. her boobies and ass looked nice nice nice. I sat down and said hi. she said hi. I told Mmm I wanted some fucking spaghetti because I was hungry. I asked Laul what she wanted and she said she wanted my cock but I told her that's for dessert. then she said she wanted some spaghetti too. nice. While we waited Laul asked me what I did for a living. I told her I kill people. She asked me what I was doing. I told her everything. the doctors, the dance club, the haha funny salts and broccoli. and I told her about Carl. Carl I miss you. I asked her about her life and she said it was dark and not good. I said ok. Our spaghetti came and I said thank you to Mmm. I played with my food for a few minutes. I pretended it was a alien. Laul laughed. I finished my dinner and burped a mighty burp. BUUUUUUUUURP I went. she said that wasnt a burp just because I said the word burp really loud. I told her to shut the fuck up you dumb bitch and she just smiled. Then I told her it was time for dessert. Mmm wanted to get a tip but I told him to fuck off because he's retarded. then Laul and I went to my room. She said i dressed really nice and I said I know. I took her dress off and she had big boobies and a FAT FUCKIN ASS DAWG. She took my pants off and sucked on my massive fucking cock. Then we did things. SEXY THINGS SEXY TIME MHM YEAH YEAH YEAH I SAID. She said OOOOOOOOHHHH OHH YEAH. OOO EEE OOO AH AH TING TANG WALLAH WALLAH BING BANG. BANG BANG BECAUSE I WAS BANGING HER HAHAHAHAHAH EPIC I FUCKED HER. i had sex. I coomed and coomed. then we slept and went to bed. carl goodnight carl i hope you slep tight mutha fucka i had sex and you probably didnt you fucking virgin ass motha fucka bye bye mhm nice sleep tight tight.

Carl im not myself

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN AND im next to my loving wife. she has a FAT ass and big boobies. i like a lot. very good. mhm nice yes. she is sexy and we had sexy sex and it was mhm nice good noice noice noice very good mhm yea yea yea is what I said last night. i ate booby and assy it was yummy yum yum. it was nice and good and nice and good. mhm yeah. I woke up and I sat up. WHen i rose up like a gamer, I slapped her fat fucking ass and it jiggled. yeah nice. she said good morning baby. i said yea ok. i told her i love her and i have to go to work. she said ok. we had sexy sex one last time before i went to go to shoot people and have fun. it was sexy sex and it was very mhm nice good nice yea yea yea. I got up and put my tuxedo shirt and my brand new black pants on. she said i look sexy and i said i know, dumb whore. she laughed. by Laul I said. bye she said. I grabbed my long gun and met Mmm in the lobby of the nice hotel we stole from the blacks. I told Mmm to get all the hobos and get in the trucks. this hotel would become our new base. Mmm came back and said mmm. I said ok. all the hobos were actually have gay SEX. But they eventually came back down. They had their guns and I told them we were going. they said ok. mhm nice very good. We got in the trucks and drove super duper fast. We drove for about 5 minutes before we saw more black men. they had their pants low for some fucking reason, so we pulled up and told them to pull their pants up because it's improper. they said oh shit its the gay retard and the gay ass hobos! I said I AM NOT GAY and shot that guy in the fucking head. His goons pulled their guns out but the gay hobos shot them first. I got out of the big truck and teabagged the first dead man. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NICE EPIC TRIPLE KILL yeah nice eat that you fucking noobs. The hobos found out they had funny salts and funny haha broccoli in their coats and in the trunk of their car. I guess you could say they have some junk in their trunk I said out loud. A gay hobo told me to shut the fuck up. I told him he has aids and is a fucking gay ass hobo. he said ok. Then we went down an alley where we had to shoot more black goons. we went into a building. a similar one of the dance party club I danced at. there were a lot of black women there. one lady said no touching and only money. I asked her if this is the dance party club and she said she didnt know but she said her name black sugar. I said that sounds fucking retarted. but then she took her giant fucking ass and jumped on me and sat on my face. I almost died from no air. thankfully Mmm pulled her off and started to sucking on her black tiddies. I told Mmm to hurry up and escort these fine women to our place of residence to better suit our needs of entertainment and physical contact. Mmm said mmm and stopped sucking on the boobies. Then more black goons pulled up and they said NUH UH and started shooting at us. I mustered my bowels and shat in my pants. I scooped out the shit and threw it at a black goon. except i missed and it hit black sugar in the face and she said OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THERE RETARD SHIT IN MY HAIR AND MOUTH? I said oops sorry. to be honest tbh it was kinda haha funny and it was good and funny. the first haha funny joke time ive had in a long time. Ive missed CNN10 for a few days now because I havent been able to watch carl or hear his jokes. not good. no fun mhm no not nice. But then a black goon jumped on my and pointed a gun to my face. i pinched his cock and balls and he moaned. what the fuck i said!!! I asked him if he was into cock and ball torture and he said yes daddy. then i pulled out my long gun and shot him in the head. blood everywhere owo. Mmm started to walk out with a lot of haha funny salt and broccoli and I told Mmm that is a stellar find my friend, nice work, keep it up and youll be a fine soldier one day, son. We took all of our new black women and a few white women and new haha funny salt and haha funny broccoli back to the hotel. I told Mmm to stay here and hold the new territory. I think now we hold 3 miles of territory. we are growing. we are powerful. I went back to the hotel. and I took a big bag of haha funny salt and haha funny broccoli back to my room to see my awesome sexy wife. She was super happy and excited and loved me. she gave me a big wet kiss kiss and it was mhm nice and awsome and epic. I breathed in the haha funny broccoli and it was epic and now WE are tired and will have mhm nice sexy sex good night carl nighty night night you fucking virgin.

Carl my marriage is in trouble

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN and im next to my loving wife. she has a fat ass and big tiddies. and a nice personality. But most importantly big ass and tiddies. I woke up and looked at her tiddies. The night before we had just had haha funny salt and haha funny broccoli time then had nice nice sexy sex time mhm yea yea yea nice good fun sex. Carl probably doesnt have sex because he's a fucking virgin. I kept staring at her boobies and she woke up and smiled. then we started to hardcore make out. after we hardcore made out we FUCKED. WE HAD MORNING SEXY SEX MHM YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAHOOOOOOOO. mhm nice nice nice good and sexy sex yea yea yea. Then Mmm knocked at the door. I ran really fast like sonic over to the door but I went too fast and couldnt stop in time and fucking slammed into the door with the force of a thousand asses. owie. I said. owie ow ow. Laul laughed. I told her to shut the fuck up and that she had fat tiddies and ass. she just smiled. I opened the door for Mmm and he said Mmm. I said ok Mmm I'll be down shortly. I left Laul and told her I had business to attend to. she said ok. Mmm took me to all the fuckin gay hobos and they said it was time to celebrate. They pulled out the haha funny broccoli and haha funny salt and I said I didnt even have breakfast yet. They said its ok because its haha funny. i said ok. then they brought out all the almost naked women, including Mmm's waifu, Black Sugar. She was really big. She had MASSIVE TIDDIES AND MASSIVE ASS. OH GOD OH FUCK. Black Sugar jumped on me, and wrapped her fucking fat and massive THIGHS around my head. she took me to the floor. I started to black out because her fucking thighs were choking me. Then she got up and shoved her giant fucking tiddies in my face. she started moving them all around. OH GOD I DONT LIKE BLACK TIDDIES OH FUCK OH GOD OH GOD. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I DONT LIKE NO NOT COOL NOT FUN OH FUCK OH GOD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I blacked out. I woke up. So therefore, WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN and idk what the fuck is going on because Black Sugar is still on me. I push her off, and when she fell, the whole room shook because she was so fucking fat. Mmm made an upset mmm because Black Sugar is his waifu. Just then, I turned to my left to see Laul standing there, in shock. She ran away crying. I got up and ran after her. She went into our room and locked herself in the bathroom. I pounded on the door and said its not what it looks like. she just kept crying. She asked why was there a giant fucking naked black bitch all on me and grinding on my massive throbbing cock??? I said Mmm and the other fucking gay hobos said it was time to celebrate from yesterday. I told them I didnt have breakfast yet when they wanted to give me haha funny salts and haha funny broccoli. I told her I dont like big fucking fat fucking black women. She stopped crying. she opened the door a crack and said, really? I said yea big black women are fucking gross. big tiddies are too fucking big and fat and gross. she said ok. Then we made out again and FUCKED again. haha nice, marriage saved!!!!! EPIC! So after I fixed my marriage and fucked my awesome hot wife and made our relationship even better than before, it was time to take more territory. I took my long gun and kissed my wife goodbye. ON THE LIPS. she smacked my ass too before I left. Me, Mmm, and the gay hobos went out in our big black police trucks. I looked to my right and I saw Black Sugar with us. She was in a small bikini. and she was fucking obese. I asked Mmm why she was with us? He said Mmm and I said oh ok. then the truck went KABOOOOOOOOM. I woke up. blood everywhere. lots of blood. and gunfire. oh fuck oh god. I get up and Mmm and the other hobos are already shooting at police. THose fuckers blew up my fucking truck. not mhm epic sauce. I got up and started shooting my long gun. Double kill, triple kill, overkill, untouchable, unfrigginbelieveable, sadly i didnt have any killstreaks yet. I kept shooting my long gun. and killing and killing. blood and blood and blood and blood. yea yea epic nice nice. a policeman with a shield came running at me. I said that shit is unfair, so I turned around and bent over and shit on his shield at a high velocity that it dented the shield and made the police man fly back 20 feet. I said haha get fucked virgin nerd. He got back up and started running at me again. This is when I knew I had to do it. I called upon my massive fucking throbbing cock. I had to think of my wife. I had to think of Laul. Just then, my cock became my MASSIVE FUCKING THROBBING COCK. then I swung my cock to the right, knocking the shield out of the policemans hands, then smashed him over the head, compeltely shattering and destroying his skull. and the hit of my massive fucking cock killed him instantly. haha nice yea yea mhm nice very good. I looked up and saw Black Sugar go sprinting super duper fast past me. She ran super fast for someone so fucking fat. Then she jumped up super duper high in the air, very mhm yea nice. then she opened her legs, then smashed her thighs around a policeman's head, crushing his skull instantly. holy fucking shit i said. Black Sugar went from police man to police man, crushing them to death with her fucking fat thighs and tiddies. That day, Black Sugar won us that battle. The few police men that were left began to run away, leaving their cars and trucks because Black Sugar was chasing them down. We now controlled a lot of fucking territory. 3 Cities now. The police can't stop us anymore. Parts of California have been evacuated because they can't stop us anymore. And we're moving into good cities, no more ghetto shit. I went back to the hotel and told Laul we were moving to a new and nice awesome yea yea good fuck yea hotel. We went to a super duper big and tall hotel with a pool and hot tub. Laul and I got a big suite room and it was very big and very sweet haha yea nice epic. very cool. Then me and laul took a shower and we had wet slippery awesome sexy sex yea yea yea yea yea nice nice nice nice nice. I accidentally slipped and hit my head against the wall and I blacked out during our awesome fucking sexy sex. But then I woke up in bed next to Laul who still had her massive fucking tiddies out. we had sexy sex again. yea yea yea. carl is a fucking virgin and he cant prove otherwise, now im tired from killing and taking territory and having LOTS OF HOT FUCKING SEX. bye bye good night sleep tight.

Carl I think this is it

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN and its the day of reckoning. The day of reckoning is almost upon us Carl. We are coming. I am coming. I did cumm in my hot super hot sexy yea nice wife last night and this morning OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was hot and cool nice ya ya sexy sex mhm nice she got a fat ass and big tiddies. my wife is hot and ur wife is ugly as fuck carl. shes probably fat and gay. haha ur wife is gay as FUCK carl ahahahahahahahha nice epic nae nae. when I awoke from my slumber and hot sexy sex with my hot wife, Mmm had already taken the gay hobos out for battle. Mmm left a note that read Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm. Mmm, mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm! I said ok but it was a note so it made no sense to say ok. I took my long gun and my wife sucked my massive fucking fat cock before I left for the day. Then I sucked a tiddy and left. I love her so much. I took a few gay hobos in a big truck to catch up with Mmm. I made sure to keep the hobos at a distance so they wouldn't try to fuck me in the ass because their all really super fucking gay. We pulled up to Mmm after about 30 minutes of driving. Mmm was in a shootout with the police again. Black Sugar was doin her thang and crushing the skulls of police with her massive fucking thighs. SHe also would knock people out with just one swing of a tiddy. Black SUgar is too powerful... fuck. I went on another double kill, triple kill, overkill, untouchable, unfrigginbelievable killing spree. I got a killstreak so I turned around, and pointed my ass in the air and fired a tactical shit. I yelled TACTICAL POOP INCUMMING! and fired my big fat fucking thicc ass shit in the air at a velocity I've never seen before. It hit a police man in the face and it decapitated his head clean off of his body. I fired again. This time it dented a police car and sent it backwards and it hit 5 policemen. Holy shit! a gay ass hobo yelled. I said I know I shit. Just then the policemen brought up a 2 big black trucks like we have. then men in black stuff came out and started shooting at us. o fuck im out of poop oh no no no no not good we need a tactical poop. Black Sugar jumped up in the air and crushed another the last policeman's head. then she jumped up to a guy in black, only he had a helmet on, and she couldnt crush the helmet. Then the men in black all jumped on black sugar. Mmm thought they were gonna fuck her and suck her tiddies so he yelled Mmm!!!!!!!!!!! Mmm ran up over to them to pull them off of her. But then more men in black shot Mmm. Mmm!!! I yelled. I ran over to Mmm and I was shot and tackled. Big owie not fun no no not good. no no not good not funny no good this is very bad! The men in black put me in hand cuffs and started punching me big owie ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow I went and I said and went and said ow ow ow ow ow. Then I went to sleep because they beat me up :(

Chapter 8: The Reckoning

CARL I DROPPED THE SOAP

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN and im in prison. ive been locked up behind bars. no no no no no this is bad this is bad and not good not fun not good nor is this set of circumstances particularly beneficial for me and my companions. I woke up and started doing my autistic screech. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE then someone shouted shut the fuck up gay ass fucking retard motha fucka! I stopped. I shouted out for Mmm. MMM!!! MMM!!! I went. I shouted for black sugar. BLACK SUGAR!!!! and the same voice told me to shut the fuck up. I did. then a guard man came to my cell to tell me it was lunch time. oh boyo boi boi yea yea yea yea yea yea yea yea nice good hungry and good very nice epic! I got my lunch and it was very sloppy and wet and runny and gross. my food started to move a little bit so i decided I wouldnt eat it. i would keep it for a pet. i would name it cheems. it was cheesy potatoes. i like potatoes. cheems is going to be a good pet. I was finished eating so I put cheems in my pocket but the guard said no really meanly and rude and mean. he took cheems and threw him in the trash. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMS i shouted. the guard punched me in the face and told me to shut the fuck up. i did. then it was bath time. except they didnt have baths. BATH TIME IS SUPER FUCKING GAY. Im not homphobic, but I just really fucking hate gays. I HAD TO SHOWER AROUND A BUNCH OF NAKED MEN. EW EW EW EW GROSS NO NO NO NOT FUN NOT COol and not nice no NOt epic. There was a big black man named Tyrone who kept staring at me. he was really buff and musty he needed a good bath. I kept looking around and I saw Mmm! MMM! i said! I also accidentally looked at Mmm's cock. it was average, but small in comparison to my massive fucking throbbing cock! Mmm and I said hi but he didnt say hi he said mmm because hes fucking retarded and can only say mmm like a fucking retard. then we hugged and our cocks touched and i said ew gross no no no sorry Mmm no thank you im not gay. then i looked around and saw the same black men that got ran the haha funny dance club that i danced at for money. they saw me and were angry looking. then i started washing my poopy body. then the soap got super duper slippery and it fell OUT OF MY HAND NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo!!!!! then i bent over to pick it up and TYRONE ran over to my thicc fucking ass and shoved is giant fucking black cock into my ass and started fucking me. No no no no im not gay TYRONE is fuckin gay as shit what the fuck bro not cool no no no no not epic or fun, very fucking GAY and IM NOT GAY. then TYRONE coomed inside of my ass and then the angry black men who ran the dance party club that i danced at for money ran over and started slapping my ass and eating my booty. they licked and licked, and licked and licked. then they put their cocks in my fucking fat ass. but then when they finished i picked up the soap, and started washing my poopy body. but then Mmm punched the gay black men in the face, and he started FUCKING THEM!!!!! NO WAY!!! VERY EPIC HAHAHA VERY NICE GOOD AND REVENGE AHAHAHAHAHAHA MHM NICE OYEA MHM NICE FUCKING NICE MMM! then he coomed and ran to TYRONE and kicked TYRONE in the cock and balls. then Mmm fucked and sucked and sucked and fuccked TYRONE's FAT COCK. THen Mmm FUCKED TYRONE IN THE ASS. VERY GOOD. It was bedtime now. I laid in my bed, missing my wife with her fat ass and big fuckin tiddies. and thinking about you carl. I havent watched CNN 10 in ages. I miss the haha funny fun joke time and it was the good times. boomer. I was about to sleep. but then I heard a slopping sound, a groaning sound. then a lumpy bumpy blob walked into my cell. CHEEMS! Cheems survived and made it to my cell! VERY COOL AND EPIC YEA EYA YEA NICE GOOD FUCK YEA CHEEMS. Cheems laid next to me and we went to sleep good night carl. and good night my thicc ass fuckin wife, Laul. I miss you and your ass n tiddies very much night night mhm fuck yea bye bye night night sleep tight.

CARL THERE’S A HARMONICA UP MY ASS

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN and im lonely. ive been isolated. i am cold. i am scared. ive been put in the dark dark no no fun room. i didnt even do anything. the big black men fucked my fat ass. its dark in here. carl i havent hear another voice in 3 days. mhm no not good or not good fun. i sat alone in the cell, unable to stroke my fat fucking cock. unable to bust a fat nut. Theyve trapped my cock, inside pants. I sat in the cell, alone, unable to nut for 4 more days. on day 7 they finally let me out. i am hungy. i am also hung. i have a big fat cock. I was put back in my cell. The man across from my cell noticed I was sad, and gave me his harmonica. he said to play it, but not to let the guards see it because they will take it away and that will be very bad. no good no fun. I started blowing into it and sliding it across my mouth. it seemed kinda gay so i stopped and asked him if this was gay and he said no, retard. im not retarded so i dont know what he meant by that. i told him i have a fat fucking massive cock and he said ok nerd. im not a nerd so i called him a faggot. he said no. i kept playing. then a guard came walking by. the man across my cell told me to hide it in my wallet. i dont have a wallet so i told him i dont have a wallet. he said in your prisoner's wallet. i said what the fuck is that, faggot man? he said shove it up your ass. i said ok and i pulled my pants down and shoved it up my ass. the guard walked past my cell before i could pull my pants back up and the guard saw my fucking massive fucking cock. he asked me what i was doing and i said im admiring my fat fucking massive cock. he opened my cell and started beating me. ow owie ow ow ow ow. ouch ouchie no good no fun. when he was beating me i had to fart really bad. so when he kept punching me i would let out a fart on accident and the harmonica would play from my asshole. my farts made music when the guard man beat me. he stopped and said what the fuck? i told him i have a harmonica up my ass. he said what the fuck again. Then I saw my oppritunity and took my cock, and got a massive fucking erekshun. with my fat cock, i smacked the guard across the face, instantly knocking him out, and denting the side of his fucking skull. The man across from me said holy shit. he told me to grab the guard's keys and let him out. I grabbed the keys but i didnt let him out because he's a gay faggot and i dont like the gays. i told him bye bye. Now I had to go find Mmm and Black SUgar. I saw a guard and I also swung my fucking cock and decapitated him. I grabbed his glow stick gun thing. I ran and ran, i couldnt find Mmm. but i did find Mmm. I put the key in the doors asshole and let Mmm out. I gave Mmm the guard's glow stick gun. I told him we needed to find Black Sugar. He said Mmm. I still really had to fart so when we ran i farted a little bit and the harmonica that was inserted in my ass would play a tune. We found Black Sugar. we let her out. She told us MMMMMMMmmmmhmmmmmmmmmm, dawlin we gots to go to tha guad towa and open up all dese cell dooas. She sounded fucking retarded, but we ran to the guard room, and killed them. Black sugar decapitated them with a swing of her tiddies and a crush of her thighs. I killed one with a swoop of my massive fucking cock too. I didnt know what all the buttons meant, so i pushed them all. sadly, that meant i had to let the faggot out of his cell >:( i dont like the gays. then a big red alarm started going rrrrrrrrrrRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE rrrrrrrRRRRRRREEEEEEEEE and it was loud and loud. Then a bunch of police and guards came thru the doors, Black Sugar spread her legs suuper duuuuper wide, and crushed 5 of their HEADS OH HOLY FUCK SHIT DICK PISS BITCH. blood everywhere. bloody. it was kinda mhm funny nice good shit. yea yea yea. then i got on the singy microphone and said ATTENTION ALL GAY HOBOS WE LEAVE NOW, MEET AT HOTEL GOODBYE BYE BYE BYE OK MHM YEAH. and we left. We killed a lot of cops and guards, and a few gays along the way hey hey yo ho ho ho. we ran fast and fast. We found a bunch of gay hobos from our fucking army. and we got in our trucks and cars and drove away zoomie zoom zoom, bye bye bye. I came back to the hotel and Laul ran into my arms. it had been 10 days since I saw her massive fucking tiddies and her fat fucking ass. and 10 days since we fucked. we talked and fucked and talked and fucked. she told me later that it was almost christmas time. OOOOOOOOOOOOH FUCK I FORGOT. CHRISTMAS TIMES EYA YEA YEA. She asked me what I wanted, I said, I want ass, tiddies, to fuck, and legos. but mostly legos and video games. she said ok. I asked her what she wanted and she said a divorce. I said owowowo what no what why? She said jk lmao pranked and i laughed. she said what she really wanted to suck and fuck and suck and fuck for an entire day. I said ok sure thing baby i will give you anything for your fat ass and big fucking tiddies. THen I had to poop. but I forgot I had a harmonica up my ass. I told laul I had a harmonica up my ass. she laughed and said ok lol. I went to the balcony and put my ass over the railing. Then I shit and shit the harmonica. It fell a long time and then it hit a gay hobo in the head, killing them instantly. it punctured his skull, killing him on impact. I said oops sorry! and it was ok because he was gay. Then it was bed time and me and laul were tired and we sucked and fucked and fucked and sucked all night then went to bed. I hoped to dream of carl. not a gay dream, but a dream of getting haha funny time with

CARL ITS CHRISTMAS TIEM

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN and its christmas time. not christmas, but its almost christmas. i hope santa can bring me some of that good shit because ive been a good boy. ive also been a bad boy too because of mean people. i want some legos. i also want to fuck my hot wife in her fat ass. i will not attack any black bad people for a little bit because it is merry christmas time. haha yea ur welcome fuckers. hahahahah epic get fucked gay ass fucktards. the hobos will rise. carl will fall. hahaha epic yea. but if santa comes down the chimney into my hotel room and tries to fuck my wife because she has a fat ass and two big fucking tiddies, i will fucking shoot santa in the head and fucking kill him and fuck Mrs. Clause. Mrs. Clause is an old bitch with saggy tiddies and my wife is young and hot with big fucking tiddies. my wife is better and hotter than Mrs. Clause because santa only cums once a year. hahahahahaha epic yea yea hahah fucking good joke. wait. OH. OHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYY FUCCCCCCCCCK. I DID A HAHA FUNNY EPIC GOOD JOKE. I DID A HAHA GOOD JOKE. I DID A HAHA FUNNY FUN TIME ALL ON MY OWN OH FUCK OH GOD im going to fucking kill someone im not joking. NOW IT IS TIME TO FUCK MY WIFE. I spread her ass cheeks and stick my GIANT FUCKING THROBBING FUCKING COCK FUCKING FUCK FUCKING FUCK IN HER FAT FUCKING FUCKING ASS FUCKING AND FUCK AND BEGIN TO FUCK HER FAT FUCKING FUCKING ASS FUCK FUCK FUCK. IN OUT IN OUT IN OUT PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP MY DICK CLAPS HER ASS CHEEKS OOOOOOOOHH YEA BABAY OWO OWO OWO OWO OWO FUCK YEA CHRISTMAS TIME SEX MUTHA FUCKA WOOOHOOO. PENIS AND COCK IN ASS AND PUSSY VAGINA OWO YEA YE AYEA SEXY SEX TIME WOOOOOOOOO. carl im going to fucking cum. NUUUUUUUUT OH FUCKY FUCK YEA WET STICKY SEX OWO. carl i will end this. im going to finish this one day BUT it is christmas time. twas the night before christmas, and all thru the house, I was fuckin and suckin and fuckin and sucking some more. bye bye carl nighty night night. goodnight sleep tight like my wifes hot pussy. hell yea motha fucka. merry christmas and fuck you.

CARL IT IS NEW DECADE TIEM

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN AND IT's a new FUCKING DECADE. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I had gud christmas tiem and christmas sex it was hot and sexy like little cesars but im hot and my hot sexy wife Laul was ready. hot and ready. pizza pizza. Then it was New Years time and new decade time and I had new years kiss and sex. it was good and nice and hot sex mhm yea you fucking gay ass virgin. We watched the ball drop and Laul made a sex joke about balls because she likes cock and balls. After the ball dropped we had big wet sloppy jaloppy sexy smexy good long kiss. then we had sex. it was good and hot and nice and good nice epic good first decade sex mhm yea it was good and nice and hot and sexy. I bet carl just sat alone and jerked his gerk by himself because Carl is a fucking cuck and can't treat a dame right. Laul is a total dame what a dame like damn what a dame son. After haha nice good sex we got up the next mornin. WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN and it is time to begin the end. It is time to Out Pizza the Hut. Carl we are coming. We have taken over southern Georgia and we are closing in on Atlanta carl we are coming to GAME END YOU. we GAME ENDED the fucking national guard. we own all of Sandy Springs. Only hobos and retards live there now. We live there in peace. Hobos now have mansions, retards now have hot sexy girlfriends. they are living lives that SOCIETY would never have allowed them. Sure, if a retard or gay ass hobo annoys me I point a fucking 50 caliber machine gun at their head and execute them at point blank. I see no issue. But carl we will begin our assault on Atlanta soon. We will seize CNN and take over CNN 10. WE WILL GET HAHA EPIC GOOD FUNNY FUN JOKE TIME CARL. I will show you the dark side of the force carl. Carl I have 349 confirmed kills. I have quick scoped and game ended countless soldiers and police officers. No weak gang of bad men can stop us. the police can't stop us. and the military hasn't stopped us yet. We are coming carl. I am cumming in Laul right now though so I gotta go. but we are coming. cumming. hot cum. wet and sticky icky gicky cum. OwO cum. We will Out Pizza The Hut Carl. bye bye mutha fucka.

Chapter 9: Resolution and Calamity

CARL WE ARE GOING TO OUT PIZZA THE HUT

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN and we are coming. carl we are coming. We will OUT PIZZA THE HUT BUTT FUCK TRUCK DUCK SUCK A DUCK AND FUCK DUCK MUCK TRUCK BUCK A DOE A DEER A FEMALE DEER PIZZA TIME. Today I woke up next to my hot sexy wife Laul but I heard a loud big bang. Bazinga! A loud kaboom. I jumped out of bed and hit a wall and fell over. I started crying because it hurt really bad. I started to hyperventilate too. IT REALLY HURT :( !!!!!!! Laul came over to comfort me while I was crying. Laul- I- hurt- my- big- toeeeeeeeee! I said while crying and trying to breathe. I turned around and sucked a tiddy to calm myself down. nice tiddy big tiddy mhm yeah. very good nice yea yea sexy lady. op op op op, opa gandam style. ayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I got up and ran down to the hotel lobby and Mmm was already waiting to brief me on what the big bang was. BAZINGA. I asked him what the big bang was? BAZINGA! Mmm turned to me with a concerned look on his fucking retarded ass face and said mmm. I said ok. I ran outside and there was a tube in the sky. I said that looks weird. then the tube came down from the sky and hit the hotel behind me. BIG BANG BAZINGA. UH OH NOT GOOD. Missiles are BAD UH OH. I told Mmm that the big bangs Bazingas were missiles! Mmm sounded the alarm that got all the fucking gay hobos to their guns n trucks. we drove down the road. Not to the old town road though because that's gay and Im not old. We found police people using tubes on the ground and putting more tubes in the tubes. We pulled up gang gang style and shot them. They fought back. we killed them and I jumped out of the truck but I missed the step and I fell. I started crying again. A hobo called me a fucking pussy ass bitch ass, so I turned around and Quick Scoped him. haha fucking normie. get fucked redditard. I ran over and teabagged the gay retard hobo and then teabagged each policeman. haha epic nice try to stop us mutha fucka!. Then more men drove up in big trucks. these people were in brown and green and brown and tan coats and backpacks. They killed a lot of gay hobos which is okay because they were gay. But they surprised us from behind, trying to take us from behind , because they are probably gay too, which is gay as FUCK. Mhm yea good not good gays bad yea yea yea. A tan man tried to run over to me and kill me but thankfully black sugar was there to totally fucking obliterate his skull with her giant fucking thighs. The tan men shot at Black Sugar but she was able to deflect the bullets with her tiddies. Her giant swinging tiddies deflected the bullets back at the tan men and killed them instantly. no effort. As she kept running around like a fucking monkey, I pulled down a dead tan man's pants and shoved a grenade up his dead ass. I dead ass put a grenade in a dead ass. I pulled the pin and threw the body back at the tan men and it blew up and blood and poop flew EVERYWHERE EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW GROSS! What's even worse is the dead man's tiny cock flew and hit me in the face! EW GROSS NASTY COCK! Black sugar kept running around killing men. They threw grenades at her, but she hit them back with her massive tiddies like a fucking baseball player, and damn CUH, THAT SHIT WAS A HOME RUN! We killed all the tan men and took their guns and clothes and trucks and cars and we took their DIP AND BEER AHAHAHAHAHAHAH YES EPIC SCORE, NICE LOOT GOOD LOOT YEA YEA YEA EPIC! We got back to the hotel in sandy springs and the hotel had a lot of holes in it. I guess the police men were shooting more tubes at the hotel. Thankfully Laul was ok. phew!!!!!!!! They tried to destroy my home and the love of my life. I told Laul the entire story and she said that was the national guard and army. THe tan people? She said yes. I said ok. I guess we fought the national guard/army? GAY! SAD! But I know this isn't the regular army. THis army was gay. I know this because the grenade I put inside of the dead tan man, it went in super easy because his asshole was loose. that means he fucks. and he's gay. and I only know one man who would have an entire gay army. CARL! Carl I know you are trying to stop us. You're trying to kill me, you're trying to break me. YOu're trying to kill Laul, but you have failed. Carl. We're moving on Atlanta tomorrow, and we will find you. and Get you carl. I will have haha funny joke time. good laugh good joke yep yep yep mhm yep. or I will fucking kill you carl. We will OUT PIZZA THE HUT CARL. bye bye im gonna go fuck Laul now because she has a fat ass and big fuggin tiddies carl youre a gay fucking virgin and I know it but you dont want anyone else to know. you are gay and a virgin. Im straight because I fuck Laul and love her hahahaha get fucked fagz epic style!

CARL WE ARE HERE

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN and the day of reckoning is here Carl. We are on the edge of Atlanta. Where CNN claims its home. We will see you soon Carl. I woke up and had hot steamy good yea yes sex with my mhm hot sexy wife Laul. We fucked and fucked and fucked and fucked until I can't no more. It was the big day. We gathered everyone in the big police trucks and cars and drove into Atlanta. Laul was there, Mmm, Black Sugar, and me. We were all in one truck, next to a bunch of gay ass fucking hobos. The national guard shot at us but Black Sugar got up on the roof of the big truck, which slowed us down a little bit. Then she leaped SUPER DUPER far and high, landing on Jeeps and army men. She swung her Tiddies around, crushing army men left and right and right and left. She crushed them with her thighs too. Then we drove by, shooting and shooting. Then black sugar jumped back on our truck as we drove past the dead army men. The other gay hobo cars sped ahead of us to battle the army and policemen. We ZOOOOOMED AND ZOOOMED FAST LIKE SONIC WEEEEE WOOOOOO. Then, we arrived. We stood at the gates of CNN. The police and national guards people stood inside, shaking their asses in fear. We stood looking at each other for 500 seconds, then I had the idea. It's time to finish this. I turned around, pulled my pants down, and pointed my fat fucking ass at the front doors of CNN. Laul asked what I was doing. I told her I've got an idea. I had an idea. With all my might I pushed. One long piece of shit flew, but I missed and hit Black Sugar in the right tiddy. Oops. I tried again. I pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed, and 350 seconds later I fired the shit missile that broke through the doors and killed 3 men in a collateral kill. TRIPLE KILL EPIC NICE. Then guns started shooting. We fired a lot and killed a lot. The police killed a lot of gay hobos. Me, Mmm, Laul, and Black Sugar got really mad, and started to quick scope and no scope a bunch of them. Oh yeah epic mhm nice yes double kill, triple kill, overkill, epic kill get fucked nerds. One Gay ass hobo commander told the four of us to get in the building and find Carl. It was my moment. Time for haha funny joke time. We ran into battle, killing police men and national guard people. We tracked down Carl by using Mmm's good ol reliable sniffer. We went up in an elevator which was really fun!!!!!!! I love elevators!!!! Then we got to Carl's floor. We saw Carl run to the stairs. He's going for the roof! Then a bunch of CNN people with guns started shooting at us. Black Sugar ran in front of us to block the bullets. A few thousand were deflected by her big fucking Tiddies, and she crushed a few hundred people with her thighs. The room was clear. But then Don Lemon came out from behind a desk, holding a 50 CAL GUN. BLACK SUGAR WATCH OUT! I yelled. Don lemon shot black sugar in the right tiddy, and it hit her and she got hurt. He fired again and hit her. NOOOOO. Black Sugar almost fell over. But she kept running at him. She was about to die :(  with all of her might, Black Sugar Jumped and swung her Tiddies and closed her thighs, crushing the skull completely of Don Lemon. Lemon man fell to the ground and with him, black sugar. We had to keep going after Carl, so we couldn't check on her. I told Mmm to stay here and check on her. But I fear she be dead. Laul and I ran up to the roof and we caught Carl. Carl was about to get into a helicopter and fly away bye bye style. Laul and I pulled out big guns and pointed them at Carl. FREEZE CARL. I said. I'VE WANTED HAHA FUNNY JOKE TIME, AND YOU SAID NO. I HAD BAD DISEASE AND YOU SAID NO. I NEEDED YOU CARL. I NEEDED YOU. I WANTED TO SEE YOU AND YOU RAN AWAY. YOU SAW ME DO HAHA FUNNY SALTS AND BROCCOLI HAHA FUNNY SALTS AND DANCE AT THE DANCE PARTY CLUB AND YOU LIED AND SAID IT WASN'T ME. WELL I'M HERE NOW CARL, AND YOUR GAY ASS ARMY CAN'T STOP ME. I AM INEVITABLE CARL. Carl looked at me with a smirk on his face. That's a hot wife you've got there kid. I told him to shut the fuck up. You think I'd give you a joke? A fun time? No kid, you deserve death. The more jokes I keep for myself, the more money, the more influence I get, and in turn, more power, and that increases my power on the global stage. So no, you'll never get haha funny joke funny fun time. I started to cry a little bit like a bitch. SHUT UP CARL. GIVE ME HAHA FUNNY TIME. His smile grew a little bit. And he reached behind his back. Wanna hear a joke? He said. Uh YEAH DUMB FUCK I DO. I said. Knock knock? Carl said. I said, who's there- then Carl pulled out a Glock and shot Laul!, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I turned and saw Laul drop to the ground, then I turned back to Carl. And he shotshot me. I fell down to the ground in pain. Carl walked over to me with a dumb smile on his face. I think this is haha funny joke epic. It was hard to stay awake. Laul. Mmm. Black Sugar. Hard to stay awake. Sleep time now...

CARL IT’S FINISHED

WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN and I'm back in the hospital. What? my tummy hurt really bad. That's where Carl shot me. LAUL! MMM! BLACK SUGAR! Where are they??? I tried to get up but it my tummy hurt really bad owie ow ow ow not cool not fun mhm no no no. NOT EPIC AS FUCK! I started crying like a fucking bitch because Laul died! Mmm died! Black Sugar died! No no no no no no no no no not my wife or my friends no no no! I never got to have hot fucking sexy sex one last time or suck on her tiddies! I started crying like a fucking bitch and started trying to get up but my tummy said no motherfucker no mhm no and it hurt really bad! Then the doctor came walking in with a nurse. He said to calm down. It was the same doctor that was here when I was in the hospital. What??? I'm back in the same hospital of when I first asked for haha funny fun joke time with Carl. Did...any of it happen? Did I meet Laul, Mmm, Black Sugar, or any of the gay ass fucking hobos? I asked the doctor where my Wife, Laul was. He said that I don't have a wife, and that no one is named Laul. WHAT? I asked the doctor about Mmm and Black Sugar. He said he doesn't know anyone with those names. I asked him, WHAT ABOUT THE HOBOS? He said there weren't any gay hobos. I started to cry and cry and cry it was big sad and not cool or funny or epic BIG SAD! SAD! I asked the doctor to put on CNN 10 because I was so epicly not epic sad. He said ok and put it on. Carl's face filled the screen and he told a funny joke. It was good and funny. I looked at Carl's face, and it was the first time I have watched CNN 10 in forever ever. I kept crying like a fucking bitch. Then I noticed something. The doctor's nose was really fucking big. I looked at the TV and noticed the noses were the exact same size. I asked the doctor to take off his mask. He said no. I told him I needed to hear a joke. He said knock knock...Just then the Doctor ripped off his mask and it was CARL!!!! Carl? I said? He said yes, it is I, Carl Azuz! I was the doctor from the start! After seeing the future where you live, I travelled back in time to avert that future, I put you in the hospital and tried to kill you from the start. Like I told you before, I need my power. YOU KILLED THEM!!!!! He said the four of my wife and friends deserved to die. NO I SAID NO NO NO NO! FUCK YOU CARL!!!!!!!!! You kicked me in the cock and balls! He said. I started to laugh. He asked why I was laughing. You took my pants off... you fool. Just then, I powered through the pain of my tummy, and flipped back, and shot my shit and 45 miles per hour at the face of Carl. HAHA EPIC REVENGE YOU FUCKER! he fell backwards and I got out of bed. I thought of my sweet fat ass and big tiddy wife, and got the biggest fucking BONER i've ever gotten. I took my massive fucking cock and hit carl in the side of the head, he flew into the wall, and he left a dent in the fucking wall. GET FUCKED NERD I yelled. then carl charged me and pushed me through the wall. I punched Carl in the fucking face, in the nose, in the mouth, and in the cock. He started bleeding. Carl started punching me a lot too. OWIE OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW AH FUCK OOF OW OH GOD OH FUCK! Carl picked me up and ran and pushed me up against the end of the hallway window. CARL NO! he kept slamming me into the window and the window started to crack. Uh oh no sir-e not good no sir not good ow oh god oh fuck ow not epic this hurts oh fuck. I swung my cock and broke carl's ribs. He fell to the floor like a fucking bitch ass fucking pussy ass motherfucker. I fell to the floor and it hurt oh god oh fuck. Carl got back up, and walked over to me. Carl has some strange power in order to get back up from me breaking his ribs with my massive fucking cock. Carl then stepped on my COCK AND BALLS OW OW OWIE OW OOF NO GOD OH FUCK OH FUCK OWIE OWIE OW OW OW. Carl smiled and said YOUR GREATEST WEAPON IS GONE FUCKER. YOUR COCK AND BALLS WILL BE MINE. Carl then took his pants off to reveal his tiny cock and big balls. I started to chuckle at his tiny fucking micro cock. He said to stop. I said no. he broke the window behind me and was about to kick me out to my death, not epic. He stopped before kicking out and said any last words. I laughed. He said what's so funny? I said your fucking tiny cock and balls. Yeah what about them? He asked. They're the haha funny time... Carl drew his leg back. I braced for the embrace of death. Goodbye. CARL SCREAMED as he fell to the left and hit the wall and dented the wall!!!!! I open my eyes and look up. LAUL! LAUL HOW???? I yelled she said she survived because my hot steamy cum gave her extra strength. Then BLACK SUGAR AND MMM walked up behind her. They said Laul gave them some of my hot steamy cum and they were able to force heal from it. Carl then got back up only to have BLACK SUGAR SWING HER FUCKING TIDDIES AND dent his skull. Carl is too powerful... Mmm shot him with his big epic laser gun. and Laul falcon punched him in the head. Carl only fell backwards and only got back up. I looked at Laul, she looked to Mmm, he looked to Black Sugar, and she looked back to me. We had Carl surrounded in front of the window. YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME FUCKER!!!!!! Carl said to me. I said, I know, but WE can. With the point of Mmm's gun, the swing and whack of Black Sugar's thighs and tiddies, and the pussy and fist power of Laul, and the swing of my massive cock, we combined power to hit carl in the chest, then the head. Carl was about to die. I knew what I had to do. I told Laul to FUCK my cock, Sonic Style. She jumped on and fucked and fucked and fucked super duper fast like SONIC. I told her to get off in a matter of seconds. I busted the fattest and strongest cum I ever did. The blast of my cum evaporated most of Carl. It created an explosion sending Carl's remains out the window, to the street, and it sent Laul, me, Black Sugar, and Mmm back in the hall. We got up and saw the remains of carl on fire. Laul looked at me and asked what happened? I said my cum was too powerful. My cock was in mega mode, and my cum destroyed Carl. She smiled and kissed me. Then Black Sugar and Mmm hugged me. I asked Mmm what happened to the gay ass hobos. Mmm said Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. I said ok. The gay hobos are mostly dead, but few reside inside the rubble of the CNN headquarters. I decided it was time to go. Carl was defeated, I saved my hot sexy big tiddy fat ass wife Laul, and my friends Black Sugar and Mmm with my power cum. I left the hospital and got into a big truck with the gang. The police and national guard would be coming for us. The plan is to go into hiding with the rest of the gay ass hobos. I don't know how long we'll have to play hide and seek. On the way to CNN, Laul and I decided to fuck one last time in our public freedom. Big tiddies bounce. Fat Ass ripple, and I cum. All is right. All is good. Carl, the haha funny time was your micro cock and balls. I just never could've seen it. I will be looking into how Carl was able to time travel while we play hide and seek. But Carl is dead, and I think CNN has replaced him with a robot. Carl is dead. I love Laul, Mmm and Black Sugar, but mostly Laul. Laul and I will take quick super nice wholesome cuddle sleep nap time until we start our game of hide and seek. I urge my followers to continue the future fight against Robot Carl. I don't know if we will be able to join you, but our battle is over, our fight is won. It was a good mhm nice epic good haha funny fun time mhm yea good nice sexy very good mhm yea yea yea time. Goodbye.