Mya

## Mya

### Relatives

* Mya's Little Cusion
* The Alphabet Myas (Aya, Bya, Cya, Dya, Eya, Fya, Gya, Hya, Iya, Jya, Kya, Lya, Nya, Oya, Pya, Qya, Rya, Sya, Tya, Uya, Vya, Wya, Xya, Yya, and Zya)
* Maurice, Sheniqua, Tentill, Hair Scorpion, Hoargy and the forgotten Myas as very distant cousins

## Physical description

### Eye color

Black

**Mya**, *(full name Mya Quincy Bahnlow)*, is just one poor soul in this big old universe of ours. Despite being the long-awaited direct descendant of a god-like anomaly, she's just a big, washed-up thirty-something, who's mid-life crisis has seemed to have never ended. Countless times has she had bad things thrown her way, but in spite of it all, she always manages to come out on top. I think that we should all inspire to be like Mya - well, for the most part at least. When her best friends, housemates, & very-very-distant cousins, Maurice & Sheniqua are around, there's nothing that you can stop this group of trash-tastic divas from accomplishing. When not chomping down carelessly on her bags of potato chips, she actually quite likes to dabble in the fine art of finger painting.

## Life

As you probably already guessed, Mya's all-time favorite food is potato-chips. I mean, she like's a lot of stuff, but those processed bagged delights just do it for her like nothing else does. Everybody knows this, there's not a single person who knows of Mya, and isn't aware of her affinity for crispy potatoes. As long as Mya has bag of chips for her to snack on, she's able to forget about whatever situation she's in, and pretend that she's in a much better world. Sometimes, she'll overdose on garlic-flavored chips, reported to have been murmuring 'I've been doing fine grandpa...' in a hushed tone when she was later discovered. Maurice has attempted to snap Mya out of her chip-addiction, with varying degrees of success. Once, Maurice gave Mya a flyer she threw together in 4 minutes, designed to be a school fundraiser. She gave it to Mya and pointed at the tricycle taped to the flyer, saying that if she was able to go a month without eating chips, she could win this awesome prize! You think Mya would turn down such an amazing gift? No, that's why she was able to resist the urge to eat chips for 4 weeks straight - this became a problem when Maurice had no idea where to get the vehicle that was promised. So she beat up an six-year old, an ran back to the house - only to see that Mya had gotten bored of waiting, and was eating a jumbo-sized bag of salami and chives-flavored chips on the living room floor. Another attempt was when Maurice simply threw away all of the chips in the house, including the secret stash hidden under the couch cushions. When Mya lifted up the cushion and noticed only hair and weird stains she became stressed - she rummaged through the cabinets, fridge, freezer, and stove... but alas, there were no chips to be found. It was a tragedy. She ran to Maurice and demanded to know where all the chips have gone. "I threw them things all in trash honey, we gotta stop wasting all of our food-stamps on junk food like this." Mya grimaced. "Um, am **I** the one TRASHING all of those elephant ears that you order from the bakery? Do I just throw ALL of that 'junk food' away, that you waited so long for? I mean, you'd probably think that I'd have the *decency* to respect other people's items, right?" Maurice was not amused. "You know, chowing down on all them chips is gonna get to you someday." Mya didn't listen. "I have been eating these things since I can walk, and I grew up to be completely fine!" Mya shouted. Will Mya ever been convinced to give up her chips? Is it even possible? As long as Mya is in close vicinity to a grocery-store, we may never know.

## Notes & Trivia

* You may not have guessed, but Mya and Donald Trump are actually great friends! They hang out with each other often, with Trump often using his absurdly-huge wealth to bring her all sorts of places - mostly restaurants.
* Mya is able to store food in-between her fat-flabs, similar to a chipmunk stuffing food in its cheeks. This allows Mya to remain immobile for days at a time, as she simply has to reach in there to get all the junk that she needs.
* Mya had once gained the motivation to lose a lot of weight, resulting in her losing 86 pounds, and gaining a much healthier life-style. Unfortunately, she instantly gained all of the weight back after sampling McDonalds' Donald Trump Burger, for her failed food-review YouTube channel.
	+ Speaking of, Mya once tried to make a food-review channel. It did not last long, as people complained about how you could hear Sheniqua singing loudly and off-tune in the shower in the background of nearly every video. Additionally, some videos featured Mya speaking about what she was eating, before sitting in in silence for the next 40 minutes, completely forgetting what she was even doing. Only after all that did she notice the camera was still recording, in which it was quickly turned it off. One of these incidents led to the suspension of her channel, when she uploaded her fabled KFC Dinner Bucket review - she forgot that Sheniqua was passed out naked in the background holding a gallon of chocolate milk.
* Mya was once contacted by the staff working on Family Guy, where they asked her if she would like to make a cameo appearance in an upcoming episode. They were absolutely enamored by her ugliness, and thought she fit the theme of the episode perfectly. Now obviously, Mya would never refuse any chance to shoot her into stardom, so she feverishly agreed. The episode in question is titled "The Dating Game", where she makes an appearance as a Tinder-hookup in the musical number. Mya was not so happy when the episode aired, to say the least.

* Mya, her parents, Maurice, Sheniqua, and the rest of the Mya Family are all a part of aptly named group-chat titled the "Family Group-chat." This allows the entire Mya family tree to keep in close contact with each other. It is Mya-family tradition to leave dead members of the family in the group-chat. They say that it's simply their of way of honoring them.
* Mya once accidentally livestreamed one of her bathroom trips on Facebook. Despite her family yelling at her through the chat, she unfortunately never noticed, and it was far too late when she finally caught on.
* Mya had to get a hair-cut once - of course, I'm referring to her back. It once grew like a black rainforest, since Maurice and Sheniqua were out of town for 2 weeks. That meant they couldn't get out the garden sheers and cut it for her. Due to this, Mya had to get off the couch for the first time in 2 days, and head to the barber. The barber had to use a weed-wacker to get even half of the hair cut off.
	+ When the $453.29 price-point was revealed to Mya, she simply told the barber to look what's on his leg, as she then ran out of the building, hitching a ride home on-top of some stranger's car. Well, a 'ride-home' is an exaggeration... she really was thrown off of the car after a sharp turn, and she had to jog home with ripped pants, in hot summer weather.
* Mya’s twin cousin from the negative dimension, Skya, is known to say "Chere's my whips!?"
	+ Skya and Donald Skump are mortal enemies, and *not* friends of course.