Episode 5 - Just the Beginning

## Intro

**Matt**: Hello and welcome to Celestial Expanse, a real play D&D podcast set in the Celestial Expanse universe, my name is Matthew, I'll be your DM for the night, playing with me today, playing as Rell is Ben...
**Ben**: Hello.
**Matt**: Jason playing as Theran...
**Jason**: How you doin'.
**Matt**: Rebecca as Martle...
**Rebecca**: Hello. I am perpetually confused by him.
**Matt**: The brat - I mean, Boston, as Juniper...
**Boston**: I wanna go home!
\*laughter\*
**Natalia** ***(faintly)***: Let me go home!
**Boston**: Get me outta here!
**Matt**: And Natalia as Z.
**Natalia**: Ewo!
**Matt**: Now, Boston, are you saying you wanna go home like you don't want to be in the situation you're in right now, or because -
**Boston**: I don't wanna be in college!
**Matt**: Oh.
**Jason**: Me either kid. Me either.
**Natalia**: Me. Me? Yeah, me three.
**Matt**: And Jason's in -
**Boston**: I'm surrounded by idiots!
**Matt**: I think that's Jason's situation in every class.
**Jason**: That's what I say to my freshmen every week.
**Boston**: I mean hey, we don't like doing our homework cause we don't know what we're doing.
**Matt**: Mm. Anyway, does anybody remember what happened last time?
**Jason**: I do! I do.
**Boston**: No. Oh - Matt corrupted the files.
\*laughter\*
**Jason**: No. We had - we had a week off because Boston couldn't make it so we had a quick session where we talked about various things, and we learned many things about the members of the celestial expanse universe. One, we learned that Natalia gets hit with balls often. Two, we learned that Rebecca drinks olive brine. Three, we learned that -
**Rebecca**: Green olives specifically. It's very good.
**Jason**: We learned that Ben, well, he yelled that cosplay is not a phase, this is his life now, and three, Matt is actually secretly recording a risque sort of Fifty Shades of Grey version of Tabletop Champions called Countertop Champions and is charging $4.99 a month for access.
**Matt**: Hey, hey hey hey hey.
**Natalia**: "Countertop Champions."
**Jason**: Beyond that -
**Matt**: That's a great deal.
**Jason**: Beyond that, that's all we did last week.
**Matt**: If I remember correctly Jason, you actually pay for the premium service.
**Jason**: Listen, we don't like to talk about my bills online, sir. But yes I do.

## Summary

### Episode Description

The Crew begins an epic battle with their friend Ashley Deacon against the mombie. Hope they brought plenty of diapers

### Summary

The episode begins with the party facing a pregnant-looking zombie (a mombie) surrounded by tiny zombies. They battle the zombies, with the mombie spawning new tiny zombies from its mouth and the tiny ones exploding on the party members. Theran mocks Z for having no kills so far, and Z crotch-punches Ashley when she agrees. Z then accidentally wraps her whip around her neck and flings the handle away, throttling herself. Rell untangles her, and the party defeats the mombie and its spawn. Z attempts to set the skin-wall on fire, but it only shrivels.

They continue to a clean room with a computer monitor and a big red button. Juniper attempts to interface with the monitor, but the language is unknown and indecipherable. A roomba-like robot comes by to help. It says it can't translate the text directly, but it can summarize. It says that the data is tracking the movements of the zombies. These zombies mutate unusually rapidly, and the Creators made the station to study them. They were in hibernation, but their hibernation sequence was deactivated, so they have started spawning again. The skin in the walls is a byproduct of the mombie spawning, and interferes with the technological inhibition of the zombies. Hitting the red button will deactivate the zombies, but there's a 20% chance that it will kill all life on the station. Juniper attempts to hack it to set a timer, but is unsuccessful. While debating whether to take the risk, they hear an alert that 50% of the station has been infected by zombies. Juniper, Martle, and Theran fight over who presses the button, and end up pressing it simultaneously. There's a blinding white light, and they're still alive. Sterilization complete. All the zombies and skin are gone. They return to Spooters. As a reward, Bunric gives them a ship, a piece of junk called the Torog.

The episode closes with a scene of Ashley taking one last drink and returning to her apartment. On her way back, she's waylaid by an acquaintance. Her eyes go from brown to black, and she snaps his neck.

> “*Her eyes go back to normal, a slight smirk appearing on an otherwise emotionless face. "Sorry,* doll*, I have someone to meet. I have a big date, and I need to freshen up." Her body sways to music only she can hear as she walks to her apartment, her light airy voice humming a small tune. When she arrives and opens up the apartment, she yells, "Dear, I'm home!" She walks to the bathroom. An almost eerie darkness and silence seems to take hold as she looks into the mirror, touching up makeup that doesn't appear to exist. "I tell you sweetheart, I met the most darling troop of adventurers today. You would've liked them. I almost forgot how much fun it is interacting with mortals. I think I might go play with them just a little bit longer - you know, before my plan goes into fruition." She slowly turns, the nonexistent makeup slowly running away off her face, and Ashley, or not-Ashley, looks down onto the body of the real Ashley Deacon, her body twisted and mangled, her face morphed into pure agony. The not-Ashley, her face filled with bruised blemishes and split craggy skin, black and mangled raven wings sprouting from her back, smiles and bends down, her hands slowly running over Ashley's cold dead face, like a mother would rub a child's cheek after crying. "Oh, I'm so sorry sweetheart, but I'm gonna have to borrow your face just a little bit longer."*”
>
>
>

## Memorable Quotes

**Ben**: If she just holds her axes out, does she act like a bayblade?

**Natalia**: Metagame, it'd be a really short campaign if he killed us!

## Trivia

* Tabletop Champions, which Jason references in the intro, is another D&D podcast in which Matt is a player.
* Not-Ashley at the end of the episode is voiced by Lauren from Tabletop Champions.
* This episode marks the end of the pre-season adventure.