Frylock's Sickness (Aqua Teen Hunger Force Lost Episode)

There’s a problem I have in life. Wanna know what it is? Most females in the town I live in which is named Diamond City don’t even have breasts! And so do I! Why don’t they have thing-a-ma-jigs? Because that’s how the city was formed. Oh, sorry about that. I was just having some major argument to myself. My name is Mona. I’m somewhat of a college student who attends Diamond City Academy which is like a college.

But that’s not important, what I’m here to tell you about is a missing episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force I came across once. It was pretty funny in my opinion. Here’s the story. I was hanging out with my homie Ashley who is a witch. We had a conversation about why Diamond City wasn’t doing that much science on the human body. Doesn’t this sound suspicious? Well, I guess I’ll stop talking about the problem with breasts.

Excuse me right there. Anyways, the next day, I was working at my own restaurant which was Mona Pizza, which awfully sounds similar to the famous painting created so many years ago. I had a boss who was the mighty eagle from Angry Birds. I was on my phone waiting for my next customer just watching this absolutely funny YTP reaction from Billy Bob Tanley until something caught my eyes.

In the restaurant, one of the customers was freaking Markiplier! No way! I took his order and I asked my boss if serving free pizzas is fine. He was apparently drinking a beer so he didn’t give a shit. I gave Mark the pizzas and that was the most perfect day for me.

I get off work at around 4:30 PM. I got in my car and drove down to a sports bar which was not that far away. The sports bar was entitled Barney Loves Booze. Hmm… I wonder if they’re talking about Barney from The Simpsons or that purple dinosaur. I made my way into the bar and sat down at the place where they give you the drink instantly.

The bartender happened to be no one other than Vibri from the video game Vib Ribbon. He was a rabbit who could communicate with speech bubbles so I didn’t have to use a translator or what not. I ordered myself a glass of whiskey and life was fine.

I was sitting next to a few people I haven’t noticed such as Navid, Leonardo DiCaprio, James Turnatable, Wes Anderson, Bill Sykes and Sid Chang. Good thing I wasn’t drunk when I came out of the bar, as I only took 2 shots of whiskey. Later that evening, I was at home paying my bills while watching a good old episode of Sesame Street.

I went to bed later on. While I slept, I had this odd looking dream where I was in this Chuck E Cheese's building just playing some good ole Mario Kart Arcade GP with some familiar people involving The Bee Bear Hybrid, Colonel Dodo and Ellen DeGeneres. They told me about this show called Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Once they said the name of the show, I woke up screaming, “Adult Swim!” I wasn’t able to sleep for the rest of the night because I needed to find something that involved Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

The next morning, I walked down the streets of Diamond City wondering what my life had to do with this weird looking show. That’s when I heard a voice tell me that they have something special. I turned around to see Billy Bob Tanley standing there near a parking meter. I begged him to sign my autograph and he did. He said, “This special place here in Diamond City is giving you a special screening of a lost episode to the show.”

I agreed with his plan and we got on a bus to the special place. We arrived at this somewhat of a store only to find that Raster Pasta was the clerk of the store. He flipped some sort of switch that led me into a room with a movie theatre screen. Billy Bob handed me some popcorn and the show started. It began with a cold opening which had these girls from Kids Favorite Songs 2 building what looked like a rocket.

One of the girls said, “This rocket will lead us to the house of the Aqua Teens!” They both took off and it went to the intro. However, Master Shake was just giving me the middle finger. Frylock was staring into my soul while doing his own moves and Meatwad, he was shaking his ass on screen.

Blech! The episode started with Shake and Meatwad sitting at the dining room table just looking at their plates. Meatwad was confused and he said, “Shake! Why are we just sitting here?” Then Shake replied with, “Frylock is supposed to be making breakfast for us, but he hasn’t shown up for an hour straight!” Meatwad told Shake to calm his temper and they should go wake Frylock up. They made their way into his room and Master Shake banged the door with a crowbar.

He said, “Hey fry man! Get off your ass and cook us some breakfast!” Frylock replied by saying, “Shake, I’m sick! Make your own food!” This pissed Shake even more and he said, “But remember when I had that cooking class? I failed it and I never got my food handlers card and I was kicked out of the class, and now I don’t know how to cook!” Frylock got out of bed and opened the door by saying, “Look, do you want me to get you guys sick? I don’t think so. If you want something to eat, go to Mcdonalds or Jack In The Box. I am not making you breakfast today.”

He closed the door and they went to Mcdonald’s. The person who worked at the drive thru was Ronnie Anne Santiago from The Loud House. She welcomed Shake and Meatwad to the restaurant and asked if she could take their order. But things went completely wrong. Shake started going bonkers to the worker by saying, “Hey! Are you 11 years old? That’s not how old you have to be to work at a restaurant!” Ronnie Anne replied by saying, “Well…. My brother Bobby is using the restroom so he asked me to take over his job for a few minutes. So can I get you anything?”

“No, I don’t want anything! All I want is for your brother to get out of the bathroom so he can come back to his job!” Ronnie Anne got super mad and she said, “If you’ve got a problem with that, get your ass out of the drive thru!”

They did what Ronnie told them and they went to Jack In The Box instead. “Hypocrites.” Said Ronnie Anne. Shake and Meatwad drove to the nearest fast food restaurant that sells breakfast. While they were going there, they had a little talk about how they were going to keep Ronnie Anne Santiago to use as their meals.

I think I know where this is all going. In the next scene, Frylock drank some orange juice while Shake and Meatwad returned from Jack In The Box. Frylock came out of the kitchen and Shake screamed, “Sickness alert! Sickness alert! An ill fry box is out of his room when he’s sick!”

Frylock claimed that he only gets people sick if he touches them. A knock on the door was made and Meatwad answered it. It appeared to be a few people whose names were Sir Clooney, Captain Frosty Mug, Carmine Cuneo and Kim Jong-il. They all wondered if Master Shake lives at the house of the Aqua Teens. Meatwad said no. Then Sir Clooney said, “If he doesn’t live here, why is his body in the shape of a door?” Meatwad replied with, “Look, he moved out, try looking in other houses!” He closed the door and told Shake that what he did was completely wrong.

Shake said, “How can an 11 year old girl work at a place when the required age is 16? You wanna know a person that’s 16? Tea Gardner from f\*\*king Yu-Gi-Oh!” Then all of a sudden, Tea Gardner herself walked into the room wondering if someone said her name. Frylock said no and she left immediately.

Meanwhile it cut to Carl who was just taking a dip in his pool when someone named Stenk asked him if he knew where Master Shake lives. Carl told him that he lives at the house right next to him but unfortunately Stenk claimed that they went there but he wasn’t in the house.

“Well maybe he’s on vacation or something.” Said Carl. Later that evening, Shake was on the sofa just watching some My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. Frylock came in and asked what Shake was doing up at 11:30 at night. “Well Frylock, Meatwad was right. What I did was completely wrong to the point I feel like I’m about to be arrested by some people.”

Frylock then replied by saying, “Well, what you have to do is go back to the Mcdonald’s and apologize to that girl you were rude to, and everything will be just fine.” Shake approved of the deal.

The next day, Shake went to the drive thru of Mcdonald’s again and here’s what he said to the drive thru girl.

“Ronnie Anne, it’s me. I just want to apologize for being rude to you in the drive thru. The fact that you were taking over your brother Bobby’s job for a few minutes kinda confused me. All I wanna say is, I’m sorry.”

What happened next was, Ronnie Anne started growing a tear from her eye and she accepted Shake’s apology. Frylock and Meatwad were playing Super Smash Bros Brawl until Shake walked through the door and he said:

“The apology was accepted, now I’m not worried anymore.” But then some familiar people such as Gordon Tubasnout, Omar Suerez, Mr Badger and Captain Hook all jumped on Master Shake causing him to drop down through the floor. It cut to the credits. Now that was some episode I tell you.

Billy Bob Tanley asked if I liked it and I said yes. I left the secret place to go down to a shop that sold clothes. As I walked, these speedy idiots named Moses and Rameses were racing on their chariots. The police came and arrested them for passing the speed limit too much.

What a coincidence! I made my way to the clothes shop and tried on this odd looking dress which had a lot of zebra stripes on it. I bought the dress and I went back home to shower. I must’ve been in there for like 5 minutes just wetting the crap out of my hair when Chief Tannabok was about to flush the toilet on me. “No way Jose!” I said to him.

I threw the soap at his feet and he slipped. I must say, I should really lock my door when I shower on days like these. That night, I was sitting on the couch watching a commercial that involved Andrew Burning starring in a Geico advertisement.

While watching it, I received the strangest knock at the door. I answered it, and I found Thomas The Tank Engine looking not happy. He said, “Where have you been hiding my coal you piece of shit?” I never carried coal. He did not believe me and his drivers started stripping my clothes off. Then they started busting into my house and took all my clothes and even my credit card.

Leaving me there, completely naked, no money, nada. I knew that screening of an Aqua Teen Hunger Force would be a death trap.

The End.