14/07/2020 - Dining with Druids, Surviving the Storms and Parleying with Pirates

## TL;DR

* Rocky  gets very drunk at breakfast and the others have an important conversation with Agatha
* After a LONG discussion, it is decided that approaching the Giants cold is a Bad Idea™ and the party should try and steal their stuff back from Fredericko first as a peace offering, and are directed to a mine
* The party crosses the freezing river with serious aplomb and no injuries
* Rocky  learns about holidays and Pierce coins a new term
* Knives fall from the sky and Ves  and Azurial  get stabbed :(
* Arriving at the mine, Pierce attempts to convince the pirates there that they should join a union, but Rocky  overcomes all difficulties to get them to help the party take down Fredericko, as they also do not like him
* Rilla and Reeva lead the party back to the stronghold, where they meet Jagger and are shepherded into the Tower, where there are many undead penguins. The door closes, Azurial  attempts to climb the stairs, and the floor slides away...

## An Interlude In Which Rocky Gets Drunk

Eddin enters the room with a large barrel of ale, interrupting the important conversation the party have been having with Agatha, and declares it's time for "Lunchtime Drinks". Agatha reminds Eddin that it is not lunchtime yet, its only about 11 in the morning. Eddin tells Agatha that he can't operate the forge without Daeha, so he's keeping himself busy while waiting for her.

Rocky  and Pierce are up for this drinking plan. Ves , Breena and Narko  are more cautious, so Rocky  takes the pints meant for them as well and downs all 4 in quick succession. Leo  asks Eddin how they brew the ale here in the caverns, what grains do they use? Eddin reveals that it is their cook who brews the ale, using the moss that grows in the tunnels. Pierce, who has drunk his pint more carefully than Rocky , activates 'Drunk Mode' and starts telling everyone in a deadpan tone, "I sure do love you, you are a great bunch of people".

Rocky  starts on his second round. Leo  asks if maybe he wants to slow it down, just a bit, but Rocky  says "nah" and ignores Leo  and Breena's concerns. Ves  confesses that she's worried about Rocky's  health. Caitlyn notes that moss is a vegetable, though, so really Rocky  is being very healthy. Leo  says we need to trust Rocky . Pierce agrees and says Rocky  has never led them astray up until now.

Meanwhile, Rocky  has downed about 10 pints and is starting to get a bit woozy and glazed over. Breena cuts him off.

Eddin offers that instead, Rocky  could have some mushroom spirits if they didn't want him having anymore ale? In a show of sensibility, Rocky  declines and says to "wait for lunchtime", as Rocky  had realised he had not had breakfast so this was his breakfast. He declares that Eddin is a great friend.

## Plans Are Attempted To Be Made (A Very Long Conversation)

Agatha attempts to get the party back on track and asks what they are hoping to get out of this trip as they are in some peril.

Narko  explains that we have come to Caldaria to find out about the artefact in the Iysgathian's diary and to try and figure out if it links to the pirates, or maybe even the situation with the cold curse? He asks about the Giants. Agatha tells him that they live deep in the mountains and her people have not been there in a long time. They are very protective of their territory, likely even more so now that Fredericko has stolen from them.

Narko  surmises that the party has three options now:-

1. Go after Fredericko
2. Go find the Giants
3. Go look at the black rocks where the Iysgarthians did their mining

Agatha immediately strikes out option 3 by saying there is probably nothing at the black rocks. Leo  asks if Agatha thinks the Giants would know about the object in the diary. Agatha isn't sure. The Giants are very insular and did not get involved when the Iysgarthians arrived. They have always stayed below ground.

Ves  gets passive-aggressive and asks that, the next time she says something is a bad idea, will the party trust her? Because she'd rather take her chances with the Giants than have the party trust the penguin over her again. Caitlyn and Breena agree to trust no one and Leo  says "uh sure" which doesn't really reassure her but hey.

Rocky  breaks the tension and suggests the party go to the "big boys" because he and Narko  speak Giant. Agatha reminds him that Fredericko stole their artefacts when he went, so they are unlikely to be friendly to newcomers. Narko  confirms that Agatha means the sash and pendant that Fredericko was wearing. Caitlyn recalls that they looked ridiculous and criticises Fredericko's fashion choices. Narko  asks Agatha if she thinks returning these to the Giants would help them. Agatha agrees that it would not hurt.

Leo  is excited to organise a heist. Pierce agrees, and says you can heist many things if the person you are heisting from is dead. Agatha's eyes glaze over as he mentions this.

Attempting to get Agatha back with them, Leo  asks if Fredericko is a real penguin, or if he is a druid. Agatha has never seen Fredericko not be a penguin. Leo  says that being a penguin would be a weird choice, if you get to choose. Ves  reminds Leo  that he knows that druids get to choose, he has seen her do it lots of times. Leo  admits he didn't know if it was the same thing or not.

Showing stunning situational awareness, Rocky  suddenly notices Azurial  behind him and yells to ask when he arrived. Azurial  says he's been there the whole time. It is put down to Rocky  being very drunk.

Narko  asks Agatha how long it would take to go to the Giants and then after the penguin. Agatha says that if they go after the Giants and they don't like them, they are unlikely to go back. Ves  says it seems like a better idea to go after the penguin, then, and steal the things, and THEN go to the Giants. Azurial  suggests that Rocky  could stand on Narko's  back and pretend to be a giant which Pierce thinks is a great idea. Leo  adds that if they wait until tomorrow, he can do a ritual to find out whether it is a good idea or not. Ves  asks what they would do today then. Caitlyn says drinking, apparently. Narko  suggests scoping out the tower, and Breena advocates for listening to the druids' stories.

Agatha, in response to Narko , says that there is not just a tower - that was just what could be seen from the sea. There is an entire stronghold built into the rock and ice. Narko  says this means that if the party want to attack Fredericko, they need to get him out into the open. Leo  reminds Narko  that he has a bunch of guards and an elephant. Rocky  suggests just bodying the big one and knocks back an 11th pint. Breena begs him to stop.

Azurial  challenges Rocky  to a drink off. Rocky  agrees but notes that he has a head-start. Azurial  reminds the group that he can't get drunk for the next 3.5 weeks and Ves  tells Rocky  to just quit while he's ahead. Rocky  agrees on the proviso he can have one last pint. He does (his twelfth) and is somehow still standing. Eddin, on his third pint, is impressed. Ves  asks "how". Rocky  reminds Ves  she has seen him drunk before. Ves  says yes, she has, but that was on a boat and at night and they didn't have to go anywhere. Leo  is excited to see Rocky  at his prime.

Seeing the party packing up and readying to head out, Agatha tells them that Fredericko is building a mine. The pirates apparently hate it. No one really knows where it is going to, and it isn't finished yet. The pirates have to work in the mine and don't have any choice. Ves  clarifies that Fredericko has slaves in a mine. Agatha says "I guess". Ves  begs rhetorically that next time, they go somewhere without mines.

Asking if this is where they could find the penguin, Narko  ignores Ves . Agatha isn't sure where the mine is but Fredericko goes there fairly often. In the mornings and evenings, Fredericko is at his tower. He goes to the mines about now. Given that the party is on the island, Agatha doesn't know what exactly he'd be doing today.

Leo  optimistically muses that maybe the pirates will give the party information about Fredericko and the mines. Narko  agrees that there's no point going to the Giants if they won't see them, and going to the mine for information would be more sensible. He asks Agatha where the mines are. Agatha tells him that they are beyond the pirate strongholg, into the wilderness on the other side of the island. Narko  asks if Fredericko is dangerous, but Agatha doesn't know. Narko  does not care too much - nothing is safe - so tells the party to get ready and they'll go. Azurial  agrees that they should go to the mines.

Leo  asks if there is a way they can get around the stronghold without being detected. Agatha tells him that there is a lake at the bottom of the glacier, with a bridge to the stronghold. Beyond that is the village and oasis for the guests. Narko  says that if they're mining, the Giants aren't likely to be at the coast and will be by the mountains.

A generous host, Agatha asks the party to stay for lunch. Ves  agrees as maybe then they'll reach the other oasis by nightfall and be somewhere warm to sleep.

As the party has been speaking, other druids have entered the room and are milling around awkwardly. A stern woman brings trays of food out and, noticing them, asks "Who are you?" Rocky  also wonders who we are. Leo  tells her that Rocky  is a big fan of her drink. The cook is unimpressed and berates Eddin for stealing the barrel from the kitchen. Sadly, the cook had not counted on the party being there and has not made enough food. She calls up upon a gangly youth, Flynn, to make them some lunch, and he produces some goodberry-like berries. Flynn gives the party a berry each and tells them to think of the best meal they can imagine and eat the berry.

Rocky  yells "CHICKEN" and eats the berry. To his amazement, it tastes like chicken and he is very full. The rest of the party follow suit. Ves  asks the cook how she did that, and begs her to teach her. The cook is pleased and says it is just a recipe, and she can put something together for when the party comes back, if they are coming back. Ves  agrees quickly and says the party will definitely be coming back. Agatha says this would be a safe place to sleep as the pirates rarely search down here.

Leo  asks the safest way to get to the mines. Narko  agrees that they don't really want to take the bridge and be spotted and wonders about crossing the lake. Agatha warns that there is a lot of falling ice and to watch out for the residents - giant crabs, which can be dangerous. However, she says, not all the pirates are bad. They could try the bridge, and may get passage. The pirates are seriously underarmed right now and may be more inclined to be friendly without Fredericko.

The party remains dubious. Narko  says they may let us through and still tell Fredericko the party had been there. Leo  says a good thing about crabs is that they can't speak, and Ves  says they don't really want to risk being seen. Rocky  agrees to face THE CRABS.

Agatha offers that the party leave anything they want behind with the druids. Most decline, but Leo  leaves some pamphlets about Rillifane. Ves  tries to stop him. Narko , who has seen Ves ' distaste for Rillifane, asks her if she does not follow the Elven gods then. Ves  says no, her mother is an elf, but follows - not the Elven gods. Narko  notes that Leo  is not an elf. Azurial  has never taken Narko  to be a slow one. Leo  explains that he was raised by elves on Skull Island. He and Rillifane get on well, as he is about nature and firbolgs are also about nature.

Finally, the party heads out.

## Ice Bucket Challenge

The party makes their way from the druids' oasis, towards the large glacier they had seen from the sea. They arrive after some time and see the melting glacier that feeds into the lake. As Agatha had described, it is filled with chunks of ice, none of which are really jumpable. The stronghold is near to the thinnest point of the river. There are 6 figures patrolling the bridge to the stronghold.

Leo  looks for crabs. He sees some very close to the party, looking for all the world like large boulders.

Pierce wonders about the freezing point of grease. He had thought about making a grease gondola, but it is not cold enough. There are no trees nearby to make a raft with, and Ves  cannot turn into a flying thing, or a life raft. She offers that she could be a shark though!

The party comes to the conclusion that they are going to have to swim. Rocky  heads towards the thinnest point of the river, but is herded back by Narko  who reminds him there are pirates there. Leo  tells Rocky  that they are trying to be sneaky. Rocky  is great at being sneaky and also is still very drunk. Caitlyn thinks it will help Rocky , jumping in ice-water. Taking this as a suggestion, Rocky  cannonballs in. Ves  quickly turns into a reef shark and follows him, helping him to stay afloat and swim in a straight line.

Leo  had thought that they could ask the crabs to ferry them across the water, but seeing as everyone is going in, follows suit. Narko  also goes in the water. Rocky  and Narko  have a bit of a tough time swimming across but Ves -the-shark helps them out. Leo  gets across easily. Azurial , who can fly in short spurts, offers to carry Caitlyn across the river, which she accepts. Pierce also swims easily across.

Rocky  starts to think it is a race and speeds up, but Ves -shark manages to herd him towards the slightly more secret shore. Everyone is cold and wet on the other side (except for Azurial  and Caitlyn who are cold and dry) but Ves  is again the worst.

## The Party Learns About Holidays

On the other side of the river, Leo  and Narko  discuss where to go next. It is decided to skirt the mountains until they see the mine. As they journey, they see a line of trees to their right, a low hill with cottages on and snowy slopes that start to build. Getting closer, they can see an oasis underneath. The cottages spiral up the hill towards a grand building on the top.There are lots of arctic animals in the area and people in the oasis, enjoying the hot springs, ice-skating and generally enjoying themselves. There is an ice-slide from the village to the oasis. The people look well-to-do and the party realise that this must be the "holiday area".

Rocky  asks what a holiday is. Ves  explains that, to the best of her knowledge, it's when you go away, but not for work. Rocky  has never done that. Neither has Ves , who has only gone away on Guild work. Rocky  has only been with the Guild ever since he left the Pony. Pierce says that when you love your work, you don't need a holiday. He suggests going to the oasis and interrogating the rich people, by which he means bribing them.

Leo  is morally opposed to making rich people richer, and Narko  worries that the guests will tell the pirates that the party is here. Pierce then suggests just threatening them instead. He could play his violin until they tell him what he wants to know.

No one wants to hear Pierce play violin. Azurial  says they should just stay clear unless they really can't find the mine. Pierce is disappointed, as he never gets to interrogate anyone. Azurial  cheers him up by telling him he can interrogate the penguin, but Ves  asks for a heads up before he starts playing.

They carry on around the village, but are surprised when someone comes whizzing down the mountain past them. From what they briefly saw, they were wearing wooden planks on their feet as they shot down the mountain. Pierce calls them snowplanks, and Caitlyn thinks this is a good name. Azurial  looks up the mountain but can't see anyone else coming. Leo  wonders how they got up the top of the mountain. Narko  suggests that they walked, while Pierce thought there might be a tunnel. Leo  hopes they didn't see us but Pierce thinks they were too busy snowplanking.

## You Can't Stop A Storm From Coming

The party have a quick look around, but are unable to see any more tracks and begin to think they may have lost their way. There are icebergs on the horizon, looking out to sea, and it very much seems like they are in the wilderness. Azurial  tells the party to keep an eye out for mine tracks.

Leo  and Ves  have a look and can see a stream ahead. Pierce, with his advanced optic sensors, can see faint tracks in the snow leading in the direction the party is heading, and above them thick, oily black clouds emanating from the centre of the island. He warns the party about the clouds the colour "of something I put in my body for nutrition".

Rocky  guesses beer, Ves  food and Caitlyn water, before Pierce tells them he meant oil. Ves  looks up and realises that these storm clouds are about to unleash their payload any second, and quickly warns the party that they need to run for shelter. Leo  notices some gaps in the trees and they make a dash. Unfortunately, Azurial  is weighed down by his armour and Ves  gets stuck in the snow and don't quite make it.

Ice knives rain down from the sky, one catching Ves  and Azurial  each. As Azurial  tries to reach for what has hit him, it explodes in his hand. As they pant and recover in the trees, Pierce asks if anyone can catch one of the knives. Rocky  makes a valiant attempt but the knife explodes in his hand as well. Caitlyn wonders if the storm means someone knows where they are, but Ves  points out that it stormed about this time yesterday as well.

Pierce wonders if the storm reaches the village as he thinks a storm like this would really dampen his holiday. Ves  says that the knives aren't actually very wet, they're just cold. Pierce says if she must be literal, the storm would stab his holiday. Ves  asks why she would not be literal, which Pierce concedes is a logical point.

## Your Rights and Mine

The storm passes after about 5 minutes and the party continues on. They manage to pick up the tracks again and follow them to a waterfall. There are flipper tracks there, at least a day old, and humanoid prints which are much fresher.

Narko  looks behind the waterfall, but can see only rocks. Pierce wonders if there is a riddle, and what the penguin word for 'friend' is. He goes to tap on the rocks but his hand passes straight through. As Azurial  attempts to climb the intangible rocks, Pierce walks through and the party follows.

They emerge into a tunnel, dank and cold and pretty grim, with torches lining the rock walls. The tunnel does not wind very much and they can see quite a way through. As they proceed through the mine, some members of the party attempt to be stealthy, but Caitlyn and Ves  did not get the memo and carry on a loud conversation. Azurial  whistles a cheery tune which Pierce joins in on, and Narko's  hooves echo every time he steps. Continuing down, they start to hear clinking of pick axes and realise they are headed towards the centre of the island.

Soon, the party comes across 2 humanoid figures, bulky and working. Pierce wonders if the mine contravenes the Modern Slavery Act. Leo  suggests just talking to them and Caitlyn agrees. Despite this, Narko  gets his glaive out. Pierce attempts to stop him but Azurial  just bursts forward to introduce himself.

The figures are two women, one freckled and tall and the other with dark hair and a big nose. The second woman has a goat. The first has a hook for a hand.

Azurial  tells the women that we have been sent for a surprise audit of the mine to make sure that everything is okay and asks them for ID. The women are unconvinced. Pierce tells them if they had known we were coming it would not have been a surprise audit. The women say that the penguin will kill us. Azurial  tells them that we are looking for the penguin.

Changing tac, Pierce tells them that actually, we are from the Union and are here to represent them, and the penguin doesn't like us because he's a capitalist. They are almost convinced, but Narko  walks around them threateningly which freaks them out a bit and they threaten to kill us themselves instead. Leo  thinks third time lucky and says that Pierce is an idiot. They don't know who we are, we don't know who they are, and honestly we don't care, we're just looking for the penguin, if they tell us where he is we'll be on our way.

The women are unwilling to fight us, but do not trust us enough to tell us. Narko  threatens them again and Leo  tries to be nice, which they say is a bit confusing. Rocky  admits that he is confused as well.

Leo  says it's a common interrogation technique, good cop bad cop. Pierce says the new handbook has updated it to include good cop, bad cop, union cop.

Leo  asks how the women feel about the mine. The women are pirates, and would rather be pillaging instead. The pirates work shifts in the mine and Wulfric - the Blue Pirate Captain - goes off and does his own shit. Leo  asks why they are building the mine in the first place. The women say it's a fair day's pay and they don't want any problems. Narko  gets annoyed and says it is not a hard question to answer.

Rocky  is finally recovering from the 12 pints he drank earlier and gets Narko  to calm down. He tells the women that the party just want to find the penguin, if they could please tell us because he is about to have a really bad headache. The women are agitated but charmed by Rocky  and his hangover and begin to warm to the party. Rocky  and Ves  together try to convince them that the party is looking for Fredericko because he invited them to his house and they lost their way. The women have heard that there is a hostile group of strangers on the island and are not convinced by the "coincidence" of there being a second group of non-hostile strangers.

## Nothing Is Actually Discussed For Real

The women introduce themselves as Reeva and Rilla. Reeva, who has done all the talking up until now, explains that there was an expedition last year in which Fredericko took others into the mountain to look for something and they lost friends. She doesn't know why Wulfric doesn't send Fredericko away.

Narko  asks if there are others who share their feelings for the penguin and - hypothetically - if the penguin was attacked by strangers he would not be defended. Reeva agrees that - hypothetically - they would be left alone as long as the pirates were not attacked as well. She asks if, hypothetically, the party would need help with an ambush. Narko  agrees, if these hypothetical allies could be trusted and their interests overlap.

Reeva asks what the party hypothetically want from Fredericko, as she understands her motive and Rilla's but not theirs. Narko  explains that Fredericko has been thieving and the party want to take back what he stole, not necessarily to kill him. Ves  adds he also hypothetically tried to kill them. Narko  adds that he's a prick, too. Reeva knows what they are talking about with the thieving, and she knows that Fredericko did not leave with it on this morning.

Pierce asks that they dispense with the hypotheticals, but Ves  recommends he just ignore the word hypothetical and it makes a lot more sense. That's what she does!

Narko  says that if Reeva and Rilla helped the party, they could hypothetically help them find new leadership. Reeva says Rilla wants revenge, but Reeva would rather keep her head down. Narko  says going further would depend on them, the party just wants to get the artefacts back. Narko  asks questions about stairs in the tower. Reeva thinks it would be best, if they were to steal something, to do it today as she knows Fredericko is out and won't be back until evening. Reeva gets pumped about killing the penguin.

Azurial  uses Lay On Hands to sober up Rocky . Rocky , newly sober, thinks this is a silly plan.

## No One Likes Fredericko, Not Even Penguins

On the way back to the stronghold, Narko  asks Reeva how many pirates are there at any one time. Reeva says there are 14 or 15, but assures Narko  that everyone hates the penguin though. She says that Jagger, a friend of hers, is on duty and they shouldn't have any trouble getting inside. They won't need to be sneaky, just quick.

Ves  asks Reeva if she likes being a pirate, which she does. She enjoys pillaging, which is stealing from other places. Narko  is faced with the moral dilemma of stealing, but justifies that the penguin had stolen the artefacts first, and they are returning them to their rightful owners. Rocky  asks if the party are pirates, as they take things from other places to take to the Guild. Ves  and Narko  say that no, they aren't. Pierce thinks the Guild is more like a colonial power, taking things for their own benefit. Ves  is defensive, and says that the Guild used to be like that, but in the last decade or so there has been a really effort to change and focus on informative, investigative missions rather than taking items.

Leo  thinks that the party are more like delivery drivers for the Guild. Azurial  suggests they should be called Dungeons, Parcels and Delivery. Rocky  thinks Dungeon Haulage Lads.

Arriving at the stronghold, Leo  begins a concerted effort of psyching Narko  up to face the stairs inside the Tower. There are a couple of guards around the tower. One is a lanky man wearing a wig and looking gormless. Another is a half-orc, who looks more intrigued. He has a bushy moustache and thumbs hooked in his belt loops. He yells to Reeva to ask her what she is doing here with the party. Reeva introduces Jagger and everyone sighs deeply at the idea of having to explain everything again. Azurial  nudges Rocky  forwards.

Rocky  takes the hint and says that we're here for an audience with the penguin. Ves  reminds him the penguin's not here and we're here to steal his stuff. Rocky  amends that they're here to see the penguin, who isn't here, so we're going to wait for him. Ves  says again no, we're just going to steal his stuff. Rocky  continues that if they get bored waiting for him, they might just leave, so the pirates shouldn't find that suspicious.

As this goes nowhere, Reeva vouches for the party and they are allowed in to the stronghold. Narko  asks Jagger to stall Fredericko if he comes, and Jagger says he's always back by evening as he has to do something then. Leo  agrees that everyone has to poop. Narko  tries to probe for Jagger's feelings on Fredericko but Rocky  hurries him along. Leo  asks Jagger to warn the party if Fredericko shows up, but Azurial  says to just get on with it and see what happens.

Leo  continues hyping up Narko  before the stairs. Pierce considers carrying Narko  but he is too heavy, so Azurial  instead reminds him to go last so if he falls he doesn't take anyone else down with him.

The party approaches the tower and Jagger tells them to just walk through the wall to go in. Ves  does so and everyone quickly follows. Before he can go in, Jagger pulls Leo  aside and tells him there are two things he should know. Firstly, don't go in the big building next door. That is where the pirates live and they don't want their home being messed up. Secondly, if the party finds gold or anything, to give them a cut. Leo  agrees (hypothetically).

Inside the tower, there is a spiral staircase constructed from ice shards. There is a large pit in the floor in front of them. The floor is made of ice, and Leo  faceplants as he walks in.

Azurial  asks if anyone has anything they don't mind losing and Ves  hands over a marrow from the Bag of Colding.

(Somewhere, Blagden  sheds a single tear.)

Azurial  casts Light on the marrow and drops it down the hole. The party can now see lots of dead penguins moving very slowly in the pit. Leo  tries to talk to them but gets no response.

Ves  wonders if Fredericko is not actually a penguin and is using these penguins as sacrifice to hold his form. Narko  suggests he might be sacrificing them to keep his soul. Caitlyn wonders why penguins. Ves  thinks maybe he needed something there was a lot of and there are a lot of penguins.

Azurial  uses his Divine Sense to discover that the penguins in the pit are all undead, and there are also many undead above them as well. He warns the party about the undead penguins but Rocky  thinks it is all a joke.

Azurial  starts to head up the stairs. However, as soon as he steps foot on the lower step, an arcane circle lights up around his feet. INTRUDER is whispered around the tower, starting at their feet and carrying up to the top of the tower. The stairs sheet over and a stone pillar with a green button on top rises in front of the door. The floor starts to tilt inwards, knocking almost all of the party to their feet as they begin to slide towards the pit full of undead penguins.