Glenn Close

This page contains possibly major spoilers for the events of the podcast. Scroll at your own risk.
**Glenn Close** is the Rock and Roll Bard Dad of the group. He is Nick Close’s dad. He is a widower due to the death of his former wife Morgan Freeman.

He is sucked through a portal into Faerûn together with Henry Oak, Darryl Wilson and Ron Stampler, and together they try to find their lost sons.

## Glenn Close

* Pre-Trial
* Post-Trial

### Relatives

Meryl Streep (grandfather)
Bill Close (father)
Morgan Freeman (wife)
Nick Close (son)
Taylor Swift (grandson)

### Affiliation

The Doodlers
Henry Oak-Garcia
Darryl Wilson
Ron Stampler
Glenn Close Trio (Formerly)

## Character Information

### Species

Human (formerly)
Demon

## Appearances

### Debut

Season 1 Episode 1 "A Man and His Handshake"

## Personality

Glenn is very laid-back and hard to agitate. He is the most amoral of the dads.

## Appearance

Glenn wears a Harley Davidson leather jacket, and seems to have at least somewhat long hair. Glenn has the blues-scale tattooed on his left forearm, a tramp stamp and according to Freddie, "probably" rockstar tattoo sleeves.

## History

### Initial Landing

The dads and their sons are headed to a soccer tournament. On the way their Honda Odyssey is sucked into a purple portal and they wake up in a strange land without their sons. They are attacked by people in red cloaks, and kill them with the exception of Three, whom they grill for details. They learn that The Lance has sold their children to slavery. They attempt to negotiate with the Lance, and Darryl makes a deal forcing him to eat his son's skin the next time he sees him. Henry steals a list with their son's locations on it. They decide to head towards Neverwinter where Lark and Sparrow are. On the way they encounter a fairy dragon named Gartok who has enslaved his children with Imperator Collars. They rewrite the instructions on the collars with the help of Darryl from the future and use them to force Gartok to be a good dad.

**Initial Landing**

Glenn is introduced waiting for Darryl Wilson to give him and his son Nick a ride to Westrock Elementary soccer tournament. As Darryl arrives he notices that Nick is smoking Glenn's weed. At Darryl's insistence Glenn takes the blunt from Nick and they get in the car. Shortly after the car is pulled through a purple portal into Faerûn.

Upon finding his son is missing, Glenn says that he is a free spirit and probably around somewhere. After Darryl and Henry have panicked a bit, Glenn suggests they start looking for their kids, and gets up and calls AAA and 911. Shortly after the dads are attacked by three people in red cloaks. He gets hit with an axe so he runs into the car and commits two counts of vehicular manslaughter. Henry Entangles the final redcloak, whi introduces himself as Three. Three tells the dads that The Lance sold their children to slavery, but will have a log of where they are. Three agrees to take the dads to The Lance’s house in Phandalin.

The dads plan to trade Three for sons' location. Glenn holds three at knifepoint while Darryl takes out his hatchet, but The Lance shoots Three with a crossbow. The dads discuss other strategies and Henry excitedly suggests pretending to be a warparty or pretending to be emissaries from the Kingdom of Westrock, and having Glenn tell their story as a Wonderwall-cover. At the end Glenn starts playing Wonderwall and telling The Lance that they are emissaries from the Kingdom of Westrock. Darryl immediately interrupts him, saying they were supposed to be warriors. Henry interrupts Darryl by silencing him with a kiss. Glenn is bummed, since this is the first time his Wonderwall didn't work out.

Since their attempt fails, they offer The Lance Darryl’s Nokia with the Snake-game. The Lance doesn't care for the game, but as Ron mentions the loss of his dog who got bitten by a snake, The Lance seems to relent. Darryl attempts to persuade The Lance by showing him a picture of himself and Grant getting a puppy. However, as he mentions that Grant lost the puppy, The Lance grows furious and starts insulting Grant. Henry chimes in that they are trying to punish Grant, which is why they want to find him and then calms Darryl down with another kiss.

Darryl collects himself and makes a blood pact that binds the dads to eating Grant's skin when they meet him. The Lance shows Darryl Grant’s location. Then, as Darryl is speaking to The Lance, Darryl kisses Lance as a distraction and Henry successfully steals the page which lists their sons locations.

The dads leave The Lance’s house with the list. And discuss what to do. Darryl has to eat Grant's skin, Glenn thinks Nick'll be fine and Ron believes Terry Jr. is better off without him, so they decide to head to Lark and Sparrow in Neverwinter.

Henry knocks Glenn out with the sheer psychic pain of repeated dad jokes. The dads decide to sleep at the Wispy Woods Inn to recover. Hnery and Darryl go to investigat nearby commotion, while Ron stays with Glenn. They come back with a fairy dragon with bracelets called Gartok who is looking for his lost children.

Henry: [yelling] Ron, this is Gartok. He’s gonna come with us on our journey.
Gartok: I’m Gartok.
Ron: Okay, hey Gartok.
Glenn: [Only just waking up] What the fuck is that!?

They head to the Inn. Ron and Darryl scam Sweet Matilda into letting them stay the night in exchange for the beer they will deliver next day. Instead the dads and Gartok leave through the window.

They drive the van and stop by Gartok's children's hideout. Gartok mentions he cannot go inside but that he cannot explain, which causes one of the Gartok's bracelets fire up. Ron decides to try and take the bracelet off. This results in the death of one of Gartok's children who had been bound to the bracelet. Gartok attempts to kill Ron in retaliation, which doesn't go over well with the dads. Glenn intimidates Gartok to behave.

Glenn: —Point is, sorry about that, are you gonna be cool? I want you to stay cool, because if you don’t, we’ll take those other two bracelets right off of you. So stay cool.

The dads leave Gartok in the car. Glenn notices the door is trapped and tells the others as much. Eventually they find the two remaining dragon children weeping over the death of their brother. The dragon children reveal that Gartok has been keeping them enslaved, though it is not atypical of dragons. They encountered a man in a purple cloak, who allowed them to pull out of a Deck of Many Things and have Gartok put the bracelets on instead of them.

The dads decide they will put the bracelets back on Gartok but make them say other things that will force him to be a good dad. They argue about what makes a good dad and what they want to do for their children. Henry brings up values like love and honesty, Darryl brings up the Golden Rule, Glenn brings up allowing your kids to make their own mistakes and Ron brings up wanting Terry Jr. to never have to feel like Ron did at his age.

Eventually they agree on "Treat your kids like you’d wanna be treated and let your kids make their own decisions, within a certain boundary, until they're dragon adult age and do not buy store brand for toilet paper or mac and cheese."

They are interrupted by a time traveling Darryl from the future, who tells them to change some of the details.

They put the bracelets on Gartok and take Gartok to the children. Henry blurts out that they killed the dragons' sibling, but Gartok interrupts him, saying that it is his fault for treating his children like commodities.
The dads continue their journey and leave the dragons behind.

### Neverwinter

The dads go to Neverwinter to find Lark and Sparrow. It turns out the city houses the Cult of the Doodler, headed by the Lord of Chaos. The dads want to talk to the Lord of Chaos to find out where Lark and Sparrow are. They meet Sheriff Boreanaz, a major member of the cult, who tells them that if they impress the Lord of Chaos he will allow them to meet him. Also, he wants to summon the Doodler to end and remake the world. The dads get naked to fight some monsters and mortified Lark and Sparrow reveal themselves to be the Lord of Chaos. They imprison the dads. The dads promptly escape. Sparrow escapes to start the mass sacrifice ritual and Henry pursues him and manages to convince him that true strength is to be a love wolf. The other dads fight guards and capture Lark. They free Chekhov's Snake and Everything. Darryl spares Cern but kills his children with the Bag of Beans by dropping a pyramid on the tower.

**Neverwinter**

The dads arrive outside Neverwinter and see a picture of the Doodler as drawn by Lark and Sparrow across the former banner of the city. Glenn suggests they intimidate the guards by honking the horn and dress up in leftover soccer jerseys to convince the guards that they are the emissaries of the Doodler. They successfully enter Neverwinter and take a short rest.

They wake up surrounded by guards. The guards mention the two previous emissaries, disappeared, seemingly turning into The Lord of Chaos. The guard directs the group to The Lord of Chaos, who is at Ankara the Entertaining's Pit of Myriad Delights.

The Pit of Myriad Delights has two pits, one for an orgies and another for fighting monsters

Sheriff David Boreanaz arrives to interrogate the group. He reveals the Doodler resembles an eldritch god worshipped by a cult he's a part of, and that with the Lord of Chaos they are attempting to bring the Doodler to this world. He suggests proving worthiness in the fighting pit, which may draw the eye of the Lord of Chaos, who in turn may know where Lark and Sparrow are. The group prepares for combat and Henry suggests getting naked to invoke chaos. Darryl, Glenn, and Henry strip down Ron is wearing several layers of clothing underneath, and only takes off the topmost one.

Lark and Sparrow reveal themselves to be the Lord of Chaos. Lark requests guards to move the dads to the dungeon, and Henry, Darryl and Ron get knocked unconscious. Glenn sees this and surrenders instead, and so sees the group be taken to a tower with an elevator. The twins take elevator up, guards take dads down to prison, still naked.

Ron discovers a discolored brick in his cell with runes sayin “I’m Hungry.” Ron responds, “Hi Hungry, I’m dad.”, and frees all dads with the exception of Henry. Henry's cell remains locked with runes saying “This is your fault.” Darryl chases Lark and Sparrow after being freed, Glenn fights a guard, Ron hides in his pants. Glenn helps a shapeshifting murderer called Everything escape her cell. Darryl accidentally spares a lizard man.

More guards arrive andDarryl then pretends to be the "Dad of Chaos," and intimidates guards to release Henry. Lark and Sparrow agree to start the ceremony separately. Sparrow heads to the elevator to summon The Doodler without Lark. Henry chases after Sparrow.

The remaining dads work on gathering their strength for escape. They stuff Lark in a cell for the time being. Darryl frees a man-sized snake through an attempted handshake. Everything joins them in their escape attempt and guides them to the armory, where they retrieve their weapons. Glenn also picks up a nunchaku. Each dad gets an item, Darryl gets Perfume of Bewitching, Ron gets Hat of Vermin, Glenn gets Alchemy Jug, and is specifically noted to produce LSD on it. Darryl also gets a bag of magic beans. They then proceed upwards towards Henry and Sparrow.

Henry and Sparrow are fighting Sheriff Boreanaz. Henry attempts to escape with the elevator but is pursued by Boreanaz and several guards. When the other dads reach them, Darryl drops the Bag of Beans down the elevator shaft, and four beans spill out, creating eggs, a geysir of apple juice, pink toads, and a 60x60ft pyramid which begins to crush the tower under its weight. Ron and Darryl start to fall. Ron pulls out sticky frogs out of the hat of vermin and manages to climb down safely. Glenn saves Darryl by reaching out with his nunchaku.

The tower is reduced to rubble. Glenn accidentally hits himself with nunchucks trying to intimidate Boreanaz. The dads realize that since Lark was underground in the prison he must be under the rubble. With the help of the people from the orgy pit Lark is rescued. The town starts to erupt into chaos the group rushes to the Honda Odyssey. They are joined by the lizard man, Cern.

Sparrow’s eyes suddenly glow with purple and he is taken over by an ominous voice, calling Henry unworthy as a father. As Lark and Sparrow fade out of existence, Sparrow asks if he did good.

### Battle Axe of Hatred

The dads attempt to find Glenn's son Nick. Nick has joined a gang called Watermice, who the dads help steal the Battle Axe of Hatred from a rival gang called the Redbrands. In retaliation the Redbrands challenge the Watermice to a battle of the bands. Nick and Glenn are supposed to play together and the rest of the dads are meant to sabotage the other band by infiltrating, but instead they give the perfect performance. Nick and Glenn escape to Waterdeep to start a drug empire. They also find Paeden. The dads catch up with them, and Glenn gives a weak apology. Nick is taken by the figures in purple robes.

**Battle Axe of Hatred**

After leaving Neverwinter, the group gathers around a campfire. Henry is miserable about having lost his sons. Darryl points out that since they took Lark and Sparrow because they thought Henry wasn’t taking good enough care of them. Glenn tells Henry that he is cool and shouldn’t care what that guy says. Ron tells Henry that it is worse for them and he is sad too for losing his frogs. Darryl calls a "dad huddle" as an excuse to give Henry a hug. He asks if Cern is a dad. Cern reveals the tragic loss of his children to the pyramid spawned from the Bag of Beans, and mentions that he owes a Wookiee Life Debt to Darryl.

The group, during sleep, returns to the scorched wasteland from their previous shared dream. Another man in a purple robe appears, saying that he has take Lark and Sparrow because Henry is a failure as a father. Purple-robed man predicts the ongoing pattern of taking each saved child. Darryl and Henry keep interrupting him and eventually he zips up their mouths.
Next day the dads notice the Odyssey is low on gas, and head to a nearby village to sort it. Glenn texts Nick.

> **Glenn:** *Hey, bro. Where you at?*
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> **Nick:** *who dis?*
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> **Glenn:** *It’s your dad. We’re lookin’ for yah.*
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> **Nick:** *lol*
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In the village, the group finds a two story pile of books. Next to the books is The Library, who at first glance seems like an old man, but crawls up the pile of books like a spider. He deals in knowledge, so the group must trade information for the books they wish to borrow. Henry claims they are from another realm he calls "Ee'Arth." Glenn attempts to bluff for a book on bard tunes, using lyrics from "Wild Wild West" by Will Smith. Failing the bluff, Glenn reveals a band secret about saving songs for an encore to obtain the book. Library mentions, that if they do not return the books in two weeks, he will kill them and bind books in their skin.

The group finds out that to fill the gas tank they must fill it with mucus and then give the car compliments. Darryl, Henry, and Ron fail to provide them. Glenn succeeds by complimenting the van in Japanese, remarking that it is of Japanese make and model.

Finally, the group continues their journey towards Waterdeep. They come to a bridge on which two thugs demand a toll. Glenn receives a text from Nick saying, "*lol i'm watching u*."Bandits emerge from the trees, with one landing in a blade pose on the van's hood. The bandit on the hood is revealed to be Nick.

Glenn and Nick catch up, and Nick reveals he was sold to some guy in Waterdeep and was rescued by his current companions, the Watermice. The dads decide to present themselves as criminals to Nick's associates.
Upon reaching the campsite, Nick introduces Glenn to magical flowers, each with unique effects, such as floating, being paranoid, telling the truth or throwing up violently. The two of them contemplate the prospect of a lucrative venture by selling these enchanted flowers and formulating plans for a potential father-son drug empire. However, Henry grows concerned about Glenn potentially becoming enslaved in Nick's thieves' guild.
Ellory, Nick's boss, approaches the group with a request to steal the Battle Axe of Hatred from a rival gang, the Redbrands. Doing this would lift the curse that would kill Nick upon leaving. A Dad huddle ensues, during which they decide to assist Nick and lift the curse.
The Dads embark on a mission to infiltrate the Redbrands' hideout, devising a plan involving the Hat of Vermin-summoned animals and drug-filled bouquets, planning to smoke out the Redbrands with the more unpleasant flower’s smoke. This fails somewhat, and results in an alarm being raised, leading to battle against the Redbrand guards. During the battle Glenn manages to charm one of the guards, Harrelson Ron, coercing him to bring the coveted Battle Axe outside. Once he gives up the Axe Glenn shuts him back in the drug smoke filled room.

As the dads return to the Watermice camp, Nick reveals to Glenn that he lied about the wizard's curse, proposing to Glenn the idea of abandoning the other Dads to sell drugs and go on a road trip, like Glenn used to in his childhood. Glenn agrees. In the Watermice camp Redbrands challenge the Watermice to a "Battle of the Bands."

As they prepare for the Battle of the Bands, everyone takes a short rest in the greenroom tent.

Glenn reveals he left Glenn Close Trio after they asked him to leave. He feels that this is his last chance. Darryl and Henry assure Glenn he is the leader of this band. Glenn asks them to sabotage the other band, suggesting that he and Nick will perform together.

Henry suggests they sneak into the band and ruin them from the inside. Darryl holds up the Perfume of Charm. Henry, Darryl, Glenn and Ron discuss how to get the other band's robes. Henry, Darryl and Ron decide to seduce the band. Ron splashes most of the Perfume of Charm onto his face. Darryl insists Henry take the rest of it, but agrees to take it himself in the end.

Darryl struts to the band. And starts hitting on him. Henry joins him and they manage to seduce the basist.

**Henry:** *Okay. Let's— let's— Let's go to that dark corner over there.*

**Darryl:** *Hey you got two other friends that want maybe come and party for a little bit before you guys play? We need three cloaks. I mean we need—*

**Bassist:** *Wait what?*

**Ron:** *We need three blokes!*

They manage to lure three members of the band backstage. Darryl freaks out and escapes. Ron tries to capture him with a lasso. Fails, and freaks out the bassist. Ron then tries to sexily capture the bassist, but instead starts choking himself. Henry tells the bassist that this is a part of an elaborate courting ritual. The final step of this courting ritual is swapping clothes with the other person .

The bassist is down. He and his friends take off their robes and Ron, Darryl and Henry put on the robes. Henry tells him that now they will watch them perform.

**Bassist:** *What you've just described is extremely humiliating. And because I am a bassist...*

**Bassist:** *You've discovered my kink. So yes we will— we will. We consent to remain tied up while you perform for us.*

Final member of the Redbrand band notes this is the third time his bandmates have ditched him to be kinky.

Darryl plays the drums, decently. Henry plays the lute, poorly. And Ron sings the Silent Night in dual harmony, impossibly, giving an unbeatable performance.

Glenn and Nick watch the performance incredulous. They feel like they cannot win and think the Redbrands may kill everyone, so they steal Odyssey-san and flee.

Scam Likely calls Henry and keeps him on hold to help Nick and Glenn get away.

Glenn feels guilty for leaving the dads, but happy to be reunited. Nick is very upset that the other dads gave an unbelievably good performance and now his friends will be killed. He suggests they forget about the other dads and start dealing the drug flowers to the local Waterdeep crimelords.

They make it to Waterdeep.

Darryl is upset. Ron is considers a career as a world famous musician, either alone or in a band. Henry tells him seriously that he is a real dad, and as a real dad he has to put his children first. Ron tearfully leads the group to start chanting Terry. They manage to concince the Redbrands not to slaughter the Watermice. Instead they go after Glenn and Nick.

In Waterdeep Glenn and Nick are scouting the place for business opportunities. They enter Bull E. Wug's where an Unfortunate Foster Children fight is starting. Glenn observes the two fighters, and notes that Paeden has the eye of the tiger. He then chooses to put all of his money on Paeden. However, as Nick thinks that Glenn will think he is cool if he joins the fight, so he joins the fight, and Glenn bets on him instead. Then Glenn convinces Paeden to let Nick beat him in exchange for a spot in their organisation.

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> **Glenn:** *Nick, you wanna—You want to get in there?*
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> **Nick:** *Do you? Do you want me to— do I want to fight in there?*
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> **Glenn:** *I don’t know just— if you want to, I mean that’d be cool if you want. Up to you man.*
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> **Nick:** *I mean I wasn't thinking about it, but now that you're mentioning it I kind of feel like I should.*
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> **Nick:** *Would that impress you? Would you think it was cool? If that would that impress you? I feel like I want to do it.*
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> **Glenn:** *I just meant, nah nah nah, man it's up to you man. I just remember—*
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> **Nick:** [At the coach] *Hey hey hey hey hey hey! Put me in there.*
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The other dads show up just as the fight begins. Darryl interrupts the fight, but Nick manages to pin Paeden. The dads are furious at Glenn for betting on child fights and stealing the van. Glenn and Nick lie, saying they were simply trying to win back enough money to buy the kids out of slavery and that Glenn had only escaped with Nick to protect him. The other dads do not believe this.

Eventually they come to a shaky truce, agreeing that dads don’t do other dads dirty. After this the booming voice and purple magic take over Nick, berating Glenn for being unable to raise a child. As the voice departs Nick starts to disappear, apologising for not being a good enough son.

### The Tower of Terry

Glenn texts Nick "You good bro?" and Nick replies with a picture of a hooded figure doing a peace sign. The location data of the picture reveals it was taken in Ravenloft.

The dads decide to head to Roqueporte to save Terry Jr. On their way they go on a side adventure when Hardball Cough Drop asks them to assist her with her BDSM dungeon. The dads successfully satisfy her clients needs with the exception of Glenn. They also encounter a merchant called Shinji, who sells them a Ward Cleaver, a Fanny Pack of Holding and a Cassio Watch.

Cern leaves the group upon finding out that the dads are responsible for the death of his sons.

The dads head to Roqueporte and find what was previously a idyllic country town to be overrun with dark unnatural spiky vines. Though it is daytime it is dark and foggy, and people walk hunched over and there are no children to be seen.

The dads and Paeden head to the tavern to find out more about what is going on in the town. Glenn gives Paeden a knife. They talk to the bartender, Tim "The Spoolman" Tailor, who is initially reluctant to talk but admits that a boy matching Terry Jr.'s description came through the town about a week ago, together with the man responsible for the corruption of the land.

The dads attempt to raise the spirits in the tavern, with Darryl helping Tim make better beer, Glenn performing an erotic song, and Ron performing stand up comedy mocking the man in the tower.

Tim reveals that a few years back when Roqueport was still an idyllic farming town, a man came and started paying children to build him a tower. Eventually the children stopped coming back. And when they finally did, they came bakc wrong.

The conversation is interrupted by a vampiric little girl demanding to know who has been making fun of her master. The dads fight her, but upon finding that she is very strong decide to flee instead.

The dads get to the Honda Odyssey and the girl is unable to get in without being invited. Henry contemplates turning water into holy water. Darryl says he is making light of Darryl's faith. Ron suggests he could do a stand up of a Catholic priest. Darryl thinks that is a great ida. It doesn't work.

Ron accidentally invites the Little Girl in, and the dads flee. Eventually they find shelter in the house of the gardden witch Erin O'Neil.

In her house they gaze up at the tower and see Terry Jr. standing side by side with none other than Terry Sr.

The dads wave Terry Sr. over. He flies over from his tower. He tells the dads that he is Terry Jr.'s biological father and that they are very happy. The dads demand to see Terry Jr., and he agrees to go get him from the Tower.

While he is gone the dads huddle. Ron notes that he is pretty sure Terry Sr. is supposed to be dead. Glenn is making notes, investigating vampires and estimating the likelihood of them being in purgatory. From this ensues panic, as the dads realise they may be dead. Ron calls his wife Samantha to ask her about Terry Sr. She confirms that Terry Sr. is dead and that she loves Ron very much.

The dads discuss possibilities for how to learn more about vampires, with options like borrowing another book from The Library, checking out Wikipedia, which Glenn strongly advocates for, or asking Erin O'Neil, who mentions she isn't really a monster kind of witch or a fighting kind of witch, she just wants to retake Roqueporte for the trees. In the end Ron calls Beth May for advice on vampires. She lists the possible weaknesses of sunlight, stake to the heart, holy water and decapitation.

Terry Sr. brings Terry Jr. over. Terry Jr. is very annoyed that Ron came and wishes he would just leave. Ron holds a heartfelt speech about what Terry Jr. means to him.

**Ron:** *What I want to say to you, Terry... Jr., not Terry Sr., is that when I... see you, I know that you don't need me to be your stepfather, but it's something that I would like to do, because... I love you, and because you're so good without me that I'm very proud of you.*

Terry listens to this, and seems to relent and joins the dads and Erin O'Neil inside the cabin. Then he invites Terry Sr. into the building.

**Terry Jr.:** *And I appreciate that, a lot. But I'm happy now... and you're going to take that away from me... and I won't let you do that. So I mean this, when I say this, from the bottom of my heart: Terry Sr., I invite you into this building.*

The dads engage Terry Sr. in a fight. The dads are all varying degrees of angry, except Glenn who is freaking out about a vampire that is obviously stronger than them. Against all odds, they manage to force Terry Sr.'s head into the Fanny Pack of Holding. They destroy the Fanny Pack, sending Terry Sr. head to the Astral Plane, to suffer beyond the laws of physics.

Terry Jr. is crushed by this.

> **Terry Jr.:** *Dad no, not again! I can't go through this again!*
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> **Ron:** *Who's your daddy now?*
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Terry Jr. smashes an orb the ground and turns into mist and flees to the tower.

Ron is angry that Terry Jr. is angry at him and doesn't want him as a father. Erin O'Neil sees her chance to take over the town has finally come, and starts rousing her trees. Darryl thinks she is ridiculous, because trees cannot really be "her children". He strikes a tree with his axe, leading to Erin and the trees starting to attack. The dads flee to the van. Glenn steals one of the books Erin had borrowed from The Library to potentially have leverage over her. They grab the Vampire Girl and flee to the tower.

They wake up the girl, who is no longer a vampire spawn. She introduces herself as Clementine Crimadinick, and tells the dads that there are more children at the basement of the tower. The dads find the children and free them. They also find three chests, two of which contain mimics. Ron throws frogs at the chests to discover which chest is a real chest, and the dads find The Belt.

The dads then make their way upwards towards Terry Jr. and discover he is attempting to create a portal to the Astral Plane.

The dads decide to make their way up the Tower. They leave Paeden to take care of the other children. They find a pit smelling of raw meat next to a button. Ron presses the button, resulting in seven clay Rons emerging. They start to fight the dads, but Ron manages to intimidate them back into the vat with the booming voice of Willy Stampler. They then proceed into a room with a large gothic chair and a smaller gaming chair. Darryl sits in the gaming chair, and a needle comes out of it and sucks out the most precious memory he has with his father. It squirts out of the gothic chair as there is no one for the memory to be injected to. Henry finds a button and presses it, which produces magically formed food and a small shelf of 10 books. The row of books is notably missing a book on the astral plane. It also has a book on how to feed on a son's love for his father for sustenance.

The dads proceed, avoid a few traps, Darryl cleans up Terry Sr.'s porn room and Ron calls Beth May for advice on a French speaking door, and with her help and asking Siri they get through and come to a bedroom. The bedroom houses a normal bed and a coffin. Underneath the coffin they find the body of the real Terry Sr.

They finally come to Terry Jr., who is attempting to open a portal to the Astral Plane. Terry demands Ron to leave, but Ron tells him he loves Terry too much to do so. The dads manage to convince Terry that Terry Sr. was a vampire and responsible for kidnapping children and the dark magic of the town, and that the man they killed wasn't the real Terry Sr. Terry Jr. responds that he always knew this.

Ron tells Terry about how his love was never proud of him. That sometimes family isn't just your father, but it is who loves you, and Ron does love Terry.

Terry starts sobbing. Ron hugs him. Terry apologizes as the man in purple takes him.

Erin O'Neil appears at the Tower after Terry Jr. has been taken. The dads and Erin almost get into a fight, but eventually manage to resolve things peacefully and Erin agrees not to take over the town.

The dads then debate what to do about Paeden as adventuring is dangerous. Darryl maintains that they should find him a home, while Glenn wants to take him with them. Eventually they decide to find him a home and do, with Walter the Immoral.

They fall asleep and discover that instead of one figure in a purple cloak there are three.

## Relationships

### Nick Close

Nick and Glenn have a complicated relationship. They care for each other greatly, but Glenn fails to act as a responsible father figure never having had one himself. Nick on the other hand wants to impress Glenn, going as far as to smoke weed despite not liking it himself.

### Morgan Freeman

Morgan Freeman was Glenn's great love. Though she died, Glenn still somewhat considers himself married. And has not been able to move on or deal with her death.

> **Glenn:** *We could road trip, and like fun the road trip with these illicit substances out the back of our van. This sounds exactly like something I did back in the 80s.*
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> **Nick:** *It's exactly what you told me you did and I feel like I can finally live your childhood with you.*
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Though he held some affection for Glenn, Bill did not enforce boundaries, leaving Glenn to figure things out himself. Glenn does not see anything wrong with Bill's parenting, and to a degree acts similarly with Nick.

## Dad Facts

* Ep1: Played on the side stages of Bonnaroo in 1997 with the Glenn Close Trio, a dad-rock cover band.
* Ep2: Bummed that his Wonderwall cover didn’t work out in episode 1, because it worked for him every time beforehand.
* Ep3: He plays an acoustic guitar of indeterminate brand and origin.
* Ep4: He’s the lead singer of Dissonant Whispers.
* Ep5: Only 50% sure on the truth of moon landings.
* Ep6: Very anal about karaoke etiquette.
* Ep7: Knows Japanese in preparation for a show in Budokan that never happened.
* Ep8: Has only done $15 total in damages to a hotel, when he stole a wine uncorker.
* Ep9: He graduated from the University of Texas International (UTI).
* Ep10: The Glenn Close Trio plays jazz-fusion Christmas music.
* Ep11: He is able to mimic other accents due to his worldly tours. (Actor feat)
* Ep12: His favorite dad joke is as follows: Why do scuba divers fall backwards when they’re diving into the water? Because if they fell forward, they’d just fall into the boat.
* Ep13: Would have stormed Area 51 if he was able to.
* Ep14: Glenn goes out of his way to visit Roswell, New Mexico every time he goes on tour.
* Ep15: The only “dating app” Glenn has is guacamole on first dates.
* Ep16: His favorite Star Wars movie is Attack of the Clones.
* Ep17: His favorite game is Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2.
* Ep18: His hot take on the 3 UFO videos released by Tom DeLonge of Blink-182 is that they could be explained by a stationary balloon, a jet, or some kind of passenger airplane. He is more concerned about why Tom DeLonge is working for the government to put this “interference” out.
* Ep19: Glenn refers to Wendy’s as “Big Dubs”
* Ep20: Glenn hates Christmas.
* Ep21: Glenn tried to start an ASMR youtube channel, and he failed because he took it too literally- “imagine you’re a rode broadcast mic pop cover in my hands…”
* Ep22: Glenn has never put on virtual reality goggles. He believes they’re the gateway to mind control.
* Ep23: Glenn is canonically the most wealthy of all the dads, him and the Glenn Close Trio once did a gig at a Silicon Valley Startup and they paid them in bitcoin. Glenn threw it away.
* Ep24: Glenn took a DNA test once and found out it gets sent to the government. Glenn also believes encoded in his DNA is the secret to true rock and roll stardom.
* Ep25: Glenn is a hardcore Disney fan
* Ep26: Glenn’s favorite Disneyland ride is Autopia, because the fumes cover up the smell of kush.
* Ep27: Glenn gets the hiccups, which sometimes affects his concerts. He once had to play a 30 minute jingle bell solo waiting for his hiccups to die down.
* Ep28: Every year, Glenn puts a DJI Phantom drone on his Christmas list for Nick to buy him. This is because Glenn has a skewed idea of how much money Nick can get selling laser pointers.
* Ep29: Glenn’s dad, Bill, was a session musician and the two of them both refer to their home as the Crash Pad.
* Ep30: Glenn has an only fans where he just has guitar tips.
* Ep31: The first band Glenn was in was Bart and the Good Time Boys led by Bartholomew ‘Bart’ Samson.
* Ep32: Glenn has his own line of guitar pedals, “Glenn Tone,” which are just rebranded TS808s. He has sold zero.
* Ep33: Glenn has attempted to grow his own weed but never got the correct light bulbs.
* Ep34: Glenn never understood the PlayStation versus Xbox argument because, by his reasoning, you can just buy both.
* Ep35: If Glenn’s career explodes on him, he believes he could become a long haul trucker.
* Ep36: Glenn “played football” in high school aka, he sold weed to the quarterback of the football team.
* Ep37: Glenn has one tattoo. It's a tramp stamp and says “sin” with Christmas ivy
* Ep38: Glenn thinks nobody should wear a mask…unless they’re being recorded potentially doing something illegal…which in our modern surveillance society, means Glenn thinks people should always wear masks. “But! Only in public…and in the bedroom”
* Ep39: Glenn's favorite store in the mall is the Brookstone/Sharper Image store because of their massage chairs. His pre-show routine includes getting Auntie Annie’s pretzels and getting a massage.
* Ep40: Glenn's favorite vegetable is deep fried vegetables. French fries, for example, are vegetables.
* Ep41: Glenn is a hot sauce guy, he makes his own he calls Rancho Bandito sauce which is buttermilk ranch and some kind of hot sauce.
* Ep42: Glenn once played a gig playing from the toilet in an outdoor mall after making a bad decision and eating a hot dog on a stick and a lemonade right before he went on.
* Ep43: Glenn can fall asleep standing up
* Ep44: Glenn's lifetime blackjack earnings is negative $7000, but positive 12 M&Ms
* Ep45: Glenn wants to reenact the film Flatliners but has found no doctor or SMT who would allow him to.
* Ep46: Glenn has conflated the movies Scent of a Woman and A Few Good Men in his mind.
* Ep47: Glenn is super into hand lotions.
* Ep48: Glenn and a guy he met in Modesto he names “The Sandman”, Glenn and The Sandman look relatively similar. Whenever either of them get in legal trouble, they say it's each other and it's enough to get their charges dropped.
* Ep49: Glenn’s New Years resolution is to continue “fucking kicking ass 24/7 baby!”
* Ep50: Glenn tries to time himself on his toilet flush to when he finishes peeing.
* Ep51: The first time Glenn ever smoked a cigarette was to show Nick how cool it was.
* Ep52: Glenn would never abuse the CB radio waves.
* Ep53: Glenn had a three year period where he was locked in mortal combat with a band called the Ben Rose Christmas Quartet. They sabotage each other and let’s just say the BRCQ is doing mostly wedding gigs now.
* Ep54: He used to read books to Nick as a kid. Books like rock and roll biographies, like the Mötley Crüe one or the Patti Smith one.
* Ep55: Glenn has never heard of any of the books they talked about last episode.
* Ep56: (via Jimmy) Glenn thinks the best gig in the world to play is in a casino for three reasons. 1: they pay the best. 2: you get endless comps. 3: if someone wins big while you’re playing, it's a double win for them. An audience delight.
* Ep57: (Via Will) When Glenn was 24 he was abducted by aliens and had a mind blowing terrestrial adventure. He woke up two weeks later in the desert and chalked the whole thing up to a bad acid trip.
* Ep58: Glenn has an eight pack, but he also counts his pecs as his abs. The other two he calls “the Danglers”
* Ep59: Glenn learned the hard way not to play Gold Digger by Kanye West at a wedding.
* Ep60: Glenn got into DJing when turntable-ism was super hot. So he got good at doing the “wiki wiki” noises.
* Ep61: Glenn's favorite Disney World attraction was Adventure Through Inner Space.
* Ep62: Glenn has no idea how to cook anything aside from back of the box instructions, but he’s watched enough Youtube in a half-baked state to fake that he sounds like he knows things.
* Ep63: Glenn is a member of the AARP.
* Ep64: Glenn claims he created Bitcoin.
* Ep65: Every single time someone mentions Primer on the show, Glenn goes “Primer, I hardly know her!”
* Ep66: Glenn thinks he has the same power as Sting, who “knows how to engage in tantric sex for hours.” He does not have this power.
* Ep67: Glenn starts every podcast from the beginning.
* Ep68: His last thought before he died was “ooh, ah, yeah that hurts.” This was later changed by Freddie to be “Well, I’m going out on top. Best dad. I’m the best dad.”

## Trivia

* He shares a name with acting extraordinaire Glenn Close.
* He carries a Kershaw Everyday Carry pocket knife.
* Glenn has proficiency in land vehicles because he drove the Glenn Close Trio tour bus, and can drive several types of vehicles.
* Like his grandson Taylor Swift, Glenn is very into "mall ninja shit".
* Glenn was created using the Shifter stats.