Destinyworth

## Extra Story

*"Destinyworth, you have to get over him. There're plenty of cats for you."*

Words of my mother. We haven't spoken in years, but I still feel bitter. Mother and Father were always talking about how they fell in love with each other the moment their eyes met. Well, life doesn't always work like that.

My first love was named Riversky. But he broke up with me, because he felt like we were too young. It was always awkward around him. I still loved him. Sure, we were young, but I think it was love. Anyway, I can't look in the past to really figure it out.

Then there was Strikethunder. He charmed me, and I fell in love. I bore his first litter. Starkit, Rainbowkit, Goldiekit. Starkit and Goldiekit became apprentices, and fell in the water, and died. I tried to save them. I swear to StarClan, I tried. But what's done is done.

I of course loved Strikethunder, but I accidentally killed him. I was carrying his second litter. But he didn't know it yet. No one did.

Why did I kill him? It was an accident! He saw me stand up to our deputy. He saw me doubt her. He saw me threaten to rebel. He was fiercely loyal and he was already having a bad day; he was depressed because our kits had recently died. I don't think he knew what he was doing, but he unsheathed his claws. He inched closer.

I sheathed my claws at first, and leaped, but I guess they unsheathed in the heat. I slashed his cheek. His face, dear StarClan, was so full of hurt and betrayal. Then they hardened, and he slashed me everywhere, and I let him. I deserved it, right? He raised his claws over my stomach, and I couldn't let him hurt our kits. *My* kits, in that moment. It's a blur, but by the end I know I was standing over a body.

The fact I was capable of that scared me. It was near the border's edge, so I panicked and ran away as fast as I could. I wasn't known for my speed–you can ask the fast warriors who teased me as apprentices–but in the moment, I never knew a cat run faster.

I knew the ground was beginning to feel different, and I didn't care. When it got wet, I didn't care. When I was suddenly submerged in water, I didn't care, until I remembered my kits. I swam up and slowed to a walk as I left. I walked for hours, until I finally couldn't see MeadowClan behind me.

A half moon passed, and it was starting to become kind of obvious I was pregnant. At least, according to the caring loners who asked if I needed help.

There was one loner in particular. His name was Battery, and he looked nothing like my two former mates–unlike the other loners–so being with him carried no painful memories. I did like him a little, which I hated myself for. *You killed your mate,* I'd tell myself, *and now you like a loner who for sure doesn't like you.*

Actually, he did. I tried to make it work with him, but neither of us could make me stop hating myself. Battery didn't know what I did. I couldn't be in a relationship where secrets are kept.

My kitting drew closer, so I ended it with Battery, and left. Thank StarClan I remembered the way back. For some reason, there were no patrols, so I entered camp. A few cats were happy, but most asked me immediately if I murdered Strikethunder. I said no. I put on a shocked look, like I had no idea he was dead. I hate myself for it.

I gave birth to one kit who, cruelly, looked exactly like her father. The cat I killed. I named the kit Brokenkit. Having three mates in total and walking out single doesn't leave you happy.

Remember Riversky? He asked me several times when Brokenkit was Brokenpaw to be my mate. You can't begin to comprehend how happy it would've been, but I refused at first. What if he decided we were *too old* to be mates? We weren't ten moons old anymore, we were senior warriors, and I wasn't the same bubbly apprentice who was super optimistic and loved literally everything and everyone.

I, as I slept, then saw a vision of my own death. I saw myself, not looking much older than I was (maybe at the most six moons older) dying. Being mauled, torn apart, wrecked by a vicious pair of dog foxes. I realized my chance for happiness was slipping past. I accepted his request.

It felt different. He was different too. He had been the serious/solemn apprentice, and was now the bubbly warrior. It was like we switched roles. He really wanted kits, saying he regrets breaking up with me, so I agreed to try. I became pregnant.

Yes, I died nine and a half moons later. Just enough to have my first son. I named him Icekit. He was the sweetest tom ever - even though it's not a high bar to cross. He had just become Icepaw, and we were both mauled and torn apart by foxes to the point we weren't even recognizable.

Or were we?

Maybe you'll see us sometime, kit.

## History

### Adventures in MeadowClan V2

Seen in the nursery with her first litter.

## Gallery

Adventures in MeadowClan V2Severance (art by moss-shadow)