Out of Shadows (GAM259)

### Starring:

Mike Smith, Kevin M. Shipp, Brad Martin, Liz Crokin, Anonymous Pelvic Floor Therapist

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***Out of Shadows*** is the story of how the CIA learned magic from Nazis, and used *Zoolander* and James Bond to make us all ignore the fact that Hillary Clinton is fucking kids under a pizza place. Basically, a stuntman… well, a stuntman/journalist-of-espionage writes what I just said on a banner and then writes "Prove Me Wrong" and then sits at a table all day: The Movie.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we sample another selection from Christian cinema to distract you from the nefarious plans of our Satanic overlords.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love the groundbreaking documentary skills of *Plandemic* and *Loose Change*, but everyone was way too "qualified" and "skeptical" for your tastes, you will *love* this movie.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: …"About Us" (on this producer's website). ["This project is the result of two years of blood, sweat and tears by a team of woke professionals."]
* Noah: ...verbosity. [imminent/eminent, demigod/demagogue, etc.]
* Eli: …"Not so crazy now, am I?"

### **Notes**

* The director, Mike Smith, is also known as Crux, "follower of the Lord Jesus Christ American Patriot #MAGA #Qanon."
* Disturbingly, as of 4 August 2020, the copy on the "outofshadows" channel had seventeen million views, but copies on at least four other channels also had 400–900K views.
* This episode marks the first time both Anna *and* Baby Bosnick walked out of a viewing.

### **Jokes**

* [Eli: But don't worry, it's all gonna come full circle (no it's not) 'cause we're gonna now hear from Mike's pelvic floor therapist, who's identity—if you look at the bottom of the screen in small letters it says—her identity is being protected because of the sensitivity of her profession.] [Noah: Yeah. Well, at first I thought she just didn't want to be associated with this stupid fucking documentary, which would have made perfect sense, but then as she goes it's like "Oooh, okay she's batshit crazy and would lose her license if they knew who she was. I see. Okay.] [Eli: They blocked out her face so that some guy didn't have to walk into her office on Monday and go "Hey, Carol, have you been (spoilers for the documentary) praying over patients and telling them about Satanic conspiracies? 'Cause we really need you to just do butthole exercises—it's a real 'clench-unclench' profession."] (15:33)
* [Heath: And then we get a quote from her, which was *insane*. Do I have this right? She was like "There's a lot of just kid fucking related to my job, I don't know if you know. Um. Like who do you think they call after Hillary Clinton fucks a kid in the spine? Me. Exactly." And I was just like "*Whaaaat*? Just happened."] [Eli: And I love—there's always a little tiny grain of truth in the deep well of the crazy, which means that like, Richard Gere, you know, broke his pelvis in a skiing accident and showed up at this woman's office, and the entire time she was doing butthole exercises with him, she was just like "I know you crammed a toddler up there. You can't fool me Richard Gere." And by the way, this is when Mike, the stuntman, goes "And I said to her man, I was like 'Either you're *crazy*, or you think all of this is *real*." And I wrote in my notes, "That is not an 'or' proposition."]
* [Noah: Oh, and then we introduce—oh God, I love her—Liz Croken.] [Eli: Liz Croken!] [Noah: Now, I had never heard of Liz Croken, so I went to her Wikipedia page: it is all of eighty-three fucking pages long, and some of those words mention her as the central researcher in this movie!] [Eli: Yeah. Uh, you might know Liz Croken at home because she claimed Tom Hanks was getting Covid because he had drank a tainted adrenochrome supply, which she says is extracted from the pituitary glands of tortured children.] [Heath: Why would you need to torture the child if you were extracting—? Just get it out. That's weird. But she's the *ace in the hole* for this movie: Liz fucking Croken, who comes on and is like "Yeah, I'm a real journalist. My mentor is Bill O'Reilly, so kind of a big deal." By the way (side note), Liz Croken is very literally brain damaged from a severe case of viral meningitis that she had. But she's going to be the "big closer" for this movie and yes, in charge of researching this entire movie.] [Noah: Jesus Christ. She spends this bizarre, long amount of time pointing out how no true journalist would be in this documentary, as though she'd been kidnapped and was trying to send us a message.] [Heath: Yup. She gives us a little more of her bona fides here; she says "I learned at the *Chicago Tribune* after O'Reilly, they taught me you need to verify… the things you say, as a journalist." And I was like, "Okay. That sounds cre—I mean, O'Reilly probably never mentioned that. That makes sense.] [Eli: And she says that her boss told it to her, which means that she probably wasn't doing a great job if her boss had to come down and be like "Hey, just so we're clear, we have to say true things here at the *Chicago Tribune*." And she was like "Well fuck, no one told me that. Say. True. Things. It's on a Post-It—there you go!"] [Noah: "O'Reilly didn't give a shit about that." Yeah, she gives us her bio like she hopes we're fucking hiring, and then we find out why. She goes "And everyone took me very seriously as a journalist, until I started reporting on Pizzagate." And I'm like "Oh, it's so nice that I have this turntable handy. Went out and got it earlier now." Yes, so we take—we thought we were already in Crazy Town—somehow we take a turn into Crazy Town *from* Crazy Town, and we start talking about the side of Pizzagate that the MainStream Media won't tell you about.] [Eli: We're going into the neighborhood of Crazy Town that the people in Crazy Town warn you about!] (1:00:47)

### **Interstitials**

* The Catholic Church: All the Conspiracy, None of the Theory (8:03)
* The Trump Administration: Everything They Accused Obama of, but Real (29:48)
* Rock Star Bonus for the Gulf of Tonkin Project (53:54)

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Episode on YouTube
* Film on YouTube
* IMDB

### **Ad Reads**

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