The Great Toilet Paper Recession - Amaya/Biromantic Bison

This is an idea I had in...February of 2021? Anyways, it takes place when everybody was stocking up on toilet paper during COVID-19. It's not edited and it's not finished either.

May of 2021

Emmerson blinked as the museum closed. *Finally, the tourists are gone.* Every day, humans would stare and point at Emmerson. He enjoyed the fame, but he couldn't blink. Some days he couldn't hold it in and he blinked when tourists were looking at him. They screamed, of course.

All the other mummies were stepping down from their pedestals or sitting up from their glass displays.

"Good evening, Emmerson." said one mummy with a beautiful necklace on.

"Evening, Diana," Emmerson answered. "Just stretching my bones."

"You don't have bones."

Emmerson sighed. Diana was too serious sometimes. "It's just a joke." He muttered.

The other mummies were crowding around a tv.

"-Stores are running out of toilet paper. Many people are hoarding toilet paper in preparation for the quarantine. Manufactuers can't catch up! Soon, there's going to be no toilet paper left." The tv was saying.

"At least they have toilet paper." grumbled one mummy. "Back in my day, we had to use our hands!"

Emmerson peered at the screen. "Good thing we mummies don't need toilet paper."

The other mummies grumbled in agreement.

Before Emmerson knew it, the sun started to shine through the windows of the museum. He stepped up onto his pedestal as the museum opened. Normally tourists leisurely strolled inside. Today was different.

Tourists streamed into the museum. They reached Emmerson's corner of the museum and ran towards the mummies. Two of them threw Grumps to the ground, the mummy that always talked about life in "His days." The tourists began ripping him apart, taking pieces of him. Soon, there was nothing left of Grumps.

The other mummies abandoned their pedestals and displays.

The tourists didn't know that mummies still had their souls, so they didn't expect the mummies to move. They screamed and fled the building.

Emmerson looked at where Grumps used to be.

"What just happened?" asked Diana.

Emmerson shook his head. "I don't know, but we need to get out of here."

"Wait!" Diana turned on the television.

"--All the toilet paper is gone. People have stolen all the material to make toilet paper from the factories, and people are resorting to stealing the fabric off of mummies! Museums around the world are getting ransacked." said the news reporter.

The other mummies gasped. "They-- they killed Grumps!"

"The humans need to pay," said another.

Emmerson held up his hands. "Wait, wait. We were all humans once. And there are far more humans than mummies. We would be better off if we hid somewhere."

"Once! Now, we're mummies, not humans!" said a mummy.

Emmerson looked towards Diana.

"Emmerson is right! Mummies against humans would result in a war, a nasty war. We are in the Great Toilet Paper Recession, and this means humans do not have a way to wipe their bums! We are their only source of toilet paper!"

Another mummy intervened. "What if the mummies that want to fight grouped up with each other, and the mummies that want to hide group up?" the mummy said.

Immediately, two groups were formed. Emmerson and Diana joined the group of nervous mummies.

"Farewell, my brothers and sisters in mummyhood." said one of the mummies. Hans, Emmerson recalled. Hans was a soldier before he became a mummy.

The mummies that wanted to fight stepped out of the museum through the front doors. The mummies that wanted to hide stepped out through the back.

Emmerson looked at Diana. "Everything will be okay."

Or so he thought. Another horde of humans were making their way towards the museum.