Chapter 50

Alone in the parking lot of the festival, Akira is shocked by Shouma's Love Confession, and is trying to decide how to handle this romantically charged situation.

## Features of This Chapter

### Story Setting

At the Summer Festival, then at Akira's home, then at school a week later.

### Time Line

The day of the Summer Festival, until about a week later.

### Transition Milestones

Akira does not fully realize a profound truth; that she is now so feminine and attractive, that she is a very desirable girlfriend, wanted by Shouma and other boys, too!

### Relationship Evolution

Later in her bedroom, Akira cries bitterly, weeping that she wishes so earnestly that she had been born a girl.

### Lessons Learned

True intentions, romantic or otherwise, can be hard to discern or react to.

ORE GA WATASHI NI NARU MADE ( UNTIL I BECOME ME )

CHAPTER 50 OF THE MANGA

(Part 3 of the Unexpected Love Confession Story Arc)

## Previously

For the Summer Festival, most of the female friends decide to wear a sexy yukata, including Akira. Akira has never worn a yukata before, nor traditional sandals. On the festival fairgrounds, Akira finds it slow-going trying to walk and keep up with the group wearing her yukata and sandals. Shouma sees her plight, and slyly works things out wherein he can be alone with Akira, escorting her, and touring the festival looking like a typical teenage romantic couple who are holding hands. They see the fireworks together, then end up at the parking lot. There, Shouma does a seemingly unplanned Love Confession to Akira. Akira is quite shocked and taken aback, not knowing what to say or how to act. With such emotional and romantic confusion at this time, what will Akira do ?

## This Chapter's Story

Moments after Shouma did a Love Confession to Akira, she was so stunned that she became deadly still and said nothing. Shouma took that as a sign that he should leave her at the festival and go home. However, Akira snapped back to life and grabbed hold of his wrist with her hand, telling him not to go. Akira tells herself that she didn't mean to be so dramatic by touching Shouma, since that would imply that she wants to continue the conversation regarding the two of them dating. As soon as he is touched, Shouma gives Akira a look of puzzlement and being disconcerted. Akira wonders what kind of look she is giving him ? Akira silently reviews in her mind all her past dealings with Shouma. He is a good guy. He took the punch in the face meant for her, coming from Yuto, during that altercation in the classroom (see Chapter 15). Shouma has always been a kind friend, maybe in ways that she never realized before. Akira remarks to herself that she has always been on the receiving end of help and encouragement from friends, never being the one to dispense concern and empathy to others. The memory of Nana telling male Akira that neither she, nor any of the other girls, will ever help or befriend bratty male Akira, haunts Akira at this moment.

Akira releases her grip on Shouma's wrist. She, herself, is now giving off a look of being disconcerted and ashamed. Akira silently stares at Shouma for a while, before she softly, but boldly tells him---

"I'm sorry." (\*)

If Shouma is stunned or taken aback, he doesn't show it at all. He only apologizes to Akira, saying that he did not mean to trouble Akira with his request, here at the summer festival. Yet, Shouma tells Akira that he is glad and pleased that he did the Love Confession here and now. Shouma goes on to say that the problem is........But Akira, not wanting to hear what he was going to say, merely turns and states that she is going home. She begins slowly walking across the parking lot towards home. Shouma calls after her, but she keeps on walking without looking back.

At home now, Akira is walking up the steps to her bedroom. Grandma asks is she is going to stay here ? (Akira was supposed to spend the night with Rumi at her house.) "Yeah", is all that Akira says. Once inside her bedroom, Akira has to catch her breath. Then she tries to remove the yukata, but only pulls it off of one shoulder. She then collapsed onto her bed, with tears welling up in her eyes. She bemoans---

"If only **I** (lit. *Ore* {masculine}) had been born a girl. If only I had been a girl from the beginning......."

The recent memory of Shouma and herself walking the festival grounds holding hands and looking like a romantic couple begin to flood her mind, as she begins crying mournful and bitter tears.

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It has been a week since the festival had ended. At school, Akira is still in a funk, with very confused and jumbled feelings. She has been laying her head on the desk top with her eyes closed for quite a while now. Aoi comes up to her and blows a party favor at her head, to get her attention. Akira slowly looks up to see Aoi, Rumi, and Erika gathered around her desk. She silently thinks to herself that she was worried that everyone at school would react to her receiving a Love Confession. Yet everyone and everything seems to be normal. No reaction whatsoever. Erika gently touches Akira on the shoulder, and asks her to come to the girl's restroom. This Akira does.

Once inside the empty restroom, Akira apologizes for leaving the other friends, as well as leaving the festival unannounced. Erika says that is okay. Erika then comments that Shouma did a Love Confession to you, Akira, didn't he ? Yeah ! Akira confirms that she turned him down. Erika wants to know why that happened ? Was it because Shouma is 'not your type' ? No. Erika speculates that maybe Akira turned him down out of consideration of herself, as Shouma declined her Love Confession toward him ? Erika sorta answers that thought by saying that she already has told you, Akira, that she is not romantically interested in him anymore. Akira says that is not the reason, either. The actual reason that she, Akira, declined is that she thought that she was 'not good enough' for him !

Erika thinks for a few moments, then puts '2 and 2 together'. Erika states out loud that must mean that if you are the one who Shouma chose to begin dating, and you say that you are not good enough for him, yet he turned me down, *where does that leave me ? At the 'bottom of the barrel' ?*

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## Chapter Lookback, Commentary, and Opinion

**(\*) I'm sorry**

When a Love Confession is offered, the reply is either accept, decline, or wait for an answer. Shouma suggested that Akira wait before giving him an answer. However, Akira gave a reply of "I'm sorry". That is the universal indication of having the Love Confession being declined and/or rejected.

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(Click on Chapter 51 to be taken to the next chapter.)

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