Episode 88

This is Episode 88 of Dice, Camera, Action.

(Holly) Strix - Tiefling Sorcerer

(ProJared) Diath - Human Rogue

(Nathan) Paultin - Human Bard

(Chris) Umpox - Imp

Strix has polymorphed her friends into mice. They're hiding in her hat as three hags confront her. The hags:

* One hag has two coins over her eyes and ants crawling over her skin.
* Another wears a string of children's teeth around her neck and has a peg leg.
* The third one has a sack on her head. Peeking out of a hole in the bag is a dog and a viper.

The hags, known as the Sewn Sisters, want some hair from the heroes. The group decides to go ahead and hand it over. They think that maybe the hags can bring Evelyn back.

Meanwhile, in Port Nyanzaru, there's another Strix, Paultin, and Diath walking around. They are 3rd level.

Chris gives the DM chair over to Anna.

The group describes the Awful Crew:

* Evil Diath: Less scars, looks 29 years old, wears clothes from Port Nyanzaru. He lets a single hair dangle in his face.
* Evil Strix: Shorter horns, hair is matted, disgusting, and slicked-back. Her tail is out, she has long black claws, and parts of her are rotten.
* Evil Paultin: Looks like Strahd.
* Umpox: Chris is playing the hag's assistant imp. He's thin, has bat wings, and a scorpion tail. He holds an eyeball. This is eventually revealed to be the hag eye of the Sewn Sisters.

#### The Mission

Evil Diath has a black bag made of stitched skin. When a body is placed in it, the body is transported to the hags. This only works on creatures that have an evil alignment.

Umpox is usually invisible. When not, he assumes the form of a rat, a raven, or a spider.

Evil Strix snatches a rat off the street and bites its head off as she scans the area for evil creatures.

They don't spot any evil creatures. Evil Paultin decides to cast *crown of madness* on a fishmonger and have him start beating people with fish.

As chaos ensues, they watch a young girl creep up, steal a fish, and flee.

They grab her. Evil Diath asks her, "Hasn't anyone ever told you that stealing is wrong?" He sticks her in the bag. He makes a performance check to make it like a magic trick to throw off bystanders and rolls a 19.

The Awful Crew has met their quota for the day. They want to go get a drink. Evil Strix feels the urge to burn something, and begins casting fire spells whilst cackling.

Three dinosaur riders take offense to this and chase the group.

Evil Diath tries to jump onto a rooftop and do some assassin's creed maneuvers. It doesn't go well.

Evil Paultin checks his pocket watch and approaches an alleyway that has a hipster alley bar. He grabs a table.

One of the dinosaur riders is a huge, muscled dude. His name is Shmon Shmeena. He's wearing jorts. He punches Umpox.

Evil Strix cuts off Shmeena's hand.

Evil Paultin is snapping his fingers, trying to get service.

There is one remaining enemy on a dinosaur. Evil Diath gives him an intense eyebrow raise. A dinosaur bites Evil Diath for quite a bit of damage. The allosaurus is enraged, attempting to murder him.

#### Restaurant Brawl

Evil Paultin's being a rude customer. Here comes the chef. It's Shmulk Shmogan. He's holding a plate of spaghetti. "Whatcha gonna do when Shmulkamania runs wild on you?"

A waitress spits in Evil Paultin's glass.

Umpox lands on the shoulder of Marsha, the waitress. He tries to pluck her eye out. He does. Then he drops the eye in Evil Paultin's moonshine. Evil Paultin drinks it anyway.

Evil Strix is on a dinosaur. She's hit with three arrows and she's down, making death saves.

Evil Diath chases off the enemies and drags Evil Strix to safety.

Shmulk Shmogan is giving Evil Paultin the dreaded airplane spin. Evil Paultin barfs spaghetti and moonshine.

Evil Paultin unleashes a *thunderwave* that causes Shmogan to back off.

The restaurant's name is Pastamania.

Evil Diath is going to jump off a table and bodybag this dude.

Evil Paultin tries to hit the Shmulkster with moonshine, but rolls bad.

Umpox tries to revive Evil Strix, but rolls a 1. End of session.