Ex Mas

"Ex Mas" is the first episode of the second season of *Privates,* a segment of *It's All Been Done Radio Hour*. It was the third segment of Show LIV. It was performed on December 14th, 2019. It has not yet been released on the podcast.

**Written by** Jerome Wetzel

**Directed by** Chase McCants

**Previous episode**: "Ex Marks the Spot Chapter 6"

**Next episode**: "Fellow the Money"

## **The Story**

It's been roughly three months since last season, and it's now Christmas Eve. Jake Cotton is summoned to Dame Cordelia Bench's grand estate for a new job. Lacking money, Jake heeds her call.

At the door, he meets Cordelia's new butler, Louis, who insults Jake. When Jake asks if Louis has heard about his predecessor, he says that he hears all. Jake is surprised when Louis leads him to the dining room instead of the study, where Cordelia and Frank Berry are waiting and happy to see the detective. Jake apologizes for interrupting dinner, but Cordelia insists he join them. Frank adds he has something he wants to talk about.

Jake notices a fourth place setting just as Dame Judy Bench enters. Jake asks why she isn't in jail, and Judy returns that Cordelia isn't pressing charges. Cordelia says Judy is her daughter, and she was stealing from thieves, not from Cordelia directly. All appears to be forgiven. Jake asks if Cordelia is trying to get Judy and him back together, but she says no, and Judy says she isn't trying to win him back. Cordelia then asks Jake be patient through dinner, and she'll tell him about the job after.

In monologue, Jake admits he'd take Judy back, despite everything.

Following the meal, the four retired to the sitting room for drinks. Frank reveals each of the other three have gifts for Jake. Frank goes first, saying he wants to work with Jake, having had fun on their last job, despite the pain. Besides, he needs a hobby, as Cordelia doesn't want him sitting around the house all day. Jake says no, but Frank misunderstands and loudly announces Jake as accepted. Louis fetches champagne.

Judy is surprised by Jake's generosity to Frank, and reveals her present to Jake is herself. She'll take him back. As Jake protests, Cordelia orders more champagne. Then Cordelia asks Jake to find her missing fortune, even though he usually doesn't deal with money matters. She offers Jake a 5% finder's fee on any of the tens of millions he can recover, and mentions Theodore was barely the tip of the theft. Jake is stunned, Judy talks about it being enough for them to have a comfortable life (especially after she inherits the rest), and Frank is happy they have a case together. Lewis brings more champagne.

Dazed and unable to argue with any of them, Jake heads for the exit. Judy says to leave a light on; she'll be over later. At the door, Louis warns Jake that one of the three has ulterior motives, and it might not be the one Jake expects. The butler responds to Cordelia's call without saying more.

## **Guest Starring**

* Samantha Stark as Dame Cordelia Bench
* Virgil Von Hartzel as Louis

## **Trivia**

* The title of this episode refers both to the holiday celebrated (Christmas, or X-Mas) and the Spanish 'mas' meaning more, as in more of Jake's ex-girlfriend.