07/01/2020 - The Rocky Theater Pleasure Show

*We begin our adventure in the archaeology guild of Ilbidor , where our eager adventurers are engaged in a spot of minor mingling in the foyer...*

## TL;DR

* Dr T sent the group on a list of errands around Ilbidor
* They spoke to two Captains about hiring their ships and decided to get one smashed
* In The Pink Pony they met Rocky the goliath after he put on a glorious show and persuaded him to leave the tavern
* They found Scribbulus the halfling and his trusty ankylosaurus Wilbur defending baby turtles at the beach

## Archaeology Guild

Of all those present, Gimble immediately distinguished himself by trying to make friends with everyone. He was acknowledged by Bayul , managed to offend Narko , and Kunai growled at him (to which he smiled anyway, just pleased by the attention). Meanwhile, Merric tinkered away and Rodrick , Khrom and Bird Person loitered.

Dr Tatiana (or Dr T), a female blue Dragonborn who the group had come to know as head of the guild and their chief point of contact, came down to address them. She sent them on a set of errands that had to be completed before the the first mission could begin. Bayul elected himself leader and after a short discussion, the group decided to head to the docks to charter a ship.

## The Docks

The docks were bustling with activity. One ship in particular looked very busy, with a Captain at the centre directing the activity. Chosen to go and chat to this Captain, Merric and Rodrick  first introduced themselves to one another. Merric was immediately dubbed ‘lil brighty' by Rodrick , which he took like a champ despite his grand family name. The two spoke to Captain Arun, and found that he charged 100 gold per day for hire of the ship and a full crew. Despite some charm on the part of the duo, he wouldn’t budge on price. He informed them of a second Captain, Trimaeus , who may offer cheaper rates should they be so inclined and who could be found in the nearby tavern.

The group reconvened for a chat and decided to split for the other tasks. Merric , Khrom and Rodrick  went off to the tavern to find the second Captain, while Bayul , Narko and Kunai (with Gimble  at their heels) marched off to the ‘Pink Pony’ to inquire about the so-called ‘Rocky ’. Meanwhile, Bird Person very sneakily flew up to hide behind the main sail of the first ship to see how authentic Captain Arun was being. He managed to overhear a snippet of conversation in which the Captain expressed doubt that the group would return with the cash for his services, but otherwise saw him return to his business with no obviously suspicious activity.

## Dock Tavern

Merric  and Rodrick entered the tavern at the end of the harbour, with Khrom  just barely squeezing in behind, the ceiling far too low for him to comfortably stand. They drew much attention as they entered. This was half because of Merric’s  foreign appearance and mannerisms, which always mark him out as an object of curiosity, half due to the intense and haunted look in Rodrick’s eyes, causing all who see him to feel fear and respect, and yet another half due to the sheer volume of their Bugbear companion. Yep, it was briefly 150% attention - little subtlety was involved. Merric  also capitalised on the attention and made a few smoke dragons from his Pipe of Smoke Monsters. After a brief gawk the shock factor wore off and people returned to their drinks as the group made it to the bar.

While his cloak billowed majestically, Rodrick dramatically ordered a plate of bread and cheese. Merric  got the beverages in, and inquired after Captain Trimaeus . The bartender, made sweeter by a bit of extra gold, suggested that a drink always went down extremely well with the Captain, and offered one up for the job. Seizing on this information, Merric  suggested that a drinking contest might be in order, knowing full well that Khrom  was equipped with a tankard of sobriety. He purchased an entire barrel of ale, which Khrom  kindly lifted over the bar and easily carried to the Captain’s table, while the other two took a seat with a group of banterous-looking locals.

After sinking multiple tankards with the Captain, Khrom  dropped into conversation that the group was looking for a ship. Trimaeus straight away advertised himself for the service, proclaiming that he was the best in the business. He also added that, having been in opposition to the word of the law a few times himself, it’d be no bother if the group wished to avoid such contact or scrutiny. And all he asked in return was 50 gold, plus a mere 70% of the loot from any trip we completed. Ever the negotiator, Khrom  managed to drive him down to 85%, the Captain declaring that he’d been had but accepting the deal nonetheless. Just for a new friend. Returning to the table flushed with success, Khrom  informed the others of the deal and told them that the Captain was ready to accept if the group gave the a-ok. Rodrick’s eyes were soon glowing with his own opinion of the situation. To remedy the problem, Merric  came up with a plan. He put a substantial amount of money behind the bar to keep the beer flowing to the Captain all evening, with the aim that he would regret his life choices come the morning.

Before they took their leave, Rodrick got chatting to some of the locals, inquiring after a certain rogue that the group needed to find. They informed him that they weren't the Rogue's biggest fans, and that the ‘thieving bastard’ took lots of their gold just the previous evening. As far as they knew, they told him, he had since been caught and was now locked up in a guardhouse where he belonged.

As the group left, Bird Person spotted them and flew down to rejoin as they set off to catch up with the others.

## The Pink Pony

While this was happening, Bayul , Narko  and Kunai  had marched off to the Pink Pony Tavern. Narko  wasn’t keen on the idea of going into a bar but begrudgingly went along with it. En route, Kunai  flipped up a cowl to hide his features, explaining that the kind of clientele he both served and serviced were likely to frequent such places. After a brief exchange with the burly blokes on the door, they payed their 2 gp each and made their way inside. Kunai  immediately took point in the shadiest corner he could find while the others ordered a chicken for Narko  and a bowl of vodka for Bayul .

Inquiring after this ‘Rocky ’, Bayul  found out that they would soon be acquainted, but not even a bribe could speed the process along - this ‘Rocky ’ apparently had a job to do first. Ordering a second chicken for the Centaur, he joined Narko  ‘near to' a table. Suddenly, they were startled by music that the two of them would probably describe as ‘uncouth’ or ‘rowdy’. Turning to face the source, they were greeted with a sight for sore eyes. An extremely well-muscled 7’ 2'’ goliath, adorned in only bright red nipple-tassels from the waist upwards, strutted out onto a low stage and began gyrating and pumping his arms to the music. The crowd, suddenly much larger, began to go wild. As they stared on, he whipped the tavern into a frenzy with his stunning performance, muscular frame rippling as he rampantly romped. A woman even fainted in the front row. Though Narko  and Bayul  were hardened warriors and unused to such frivolity, they could not help but feel the electric energy, and Bayul’s sensitive hearing clearly made out the sound of Narko’s  hoof clopping to the beat. The music built to a mighty crescendo and the dance reached its own glorious climax. The goliath was soon showered (and his loincloth assailed) with coins.

Once the show was over, Bayul  and Narko  found themselves face to face with the nipple-tassel-clad goliath, who glistened with sweat but otherwise appeared full of energy. After establishing that they were not there for his usual ‘services’, Rocky immediately cracked a joke about Bayul’s  trunk. In a past life, if someone made a slight to his appearance Bayul  would have turned them the to dust with highly-trained legions and a concentrated bombardment by trebuchets. Diplomacy was never his strong point. He chose to leave rather than make a scene, trusting his new companions to recruit the goliath.

Engaging Rocky in conversation, Narko  found out more about his life. It became increasingly clear that, while Rocky was not the sharpest tool in the shed, he had a very good heart and was being completely exploited by the bar manager for his sick moves and hot bod. Rocky also showed Narko  a large, evil looking scar across his shoulder and arm, that the bar manager had given him when he didn't earn enough money once. Narko , furious at hearing of this mistreatmnet, began to persuade Rocky to join the archaeology expedition so that he could create his own life, perform his moves wherever he wanted in the world and no longer be exploited for his earnings. He also offered him chicken. At this point, the group from the other tavern caught up and Khrom  came over to help. Hearing his name as ‘Cum’, Rocky was soon taken with this new friend too. Together they introduce him to the concept of archaeology, eloquently described by Khrom  as 'something to do with digging and fish’, and Rocky seemed to like this concept.

The bar manager, Rocky's "boss", realising what was happening, ushered Rocky away and reminded him of all that he had in his life; crowds to appreciate his dancing, chicken and ale to fill him, and a small amount of the coins he makes to keep. Not having any of this, Narko  put his own substantial hand on the barkeep’s shoulder, provoking numerous beefy bouncer-types to step from the shadows. However, Rodrick backed him up with 4 otherworldly astral arms that took the appearance of unspeakable horrors. Khrom  also unfolded to his full height, forming a 10 and a half foot tall wall of muscle and fur that frankly obstructed everyone’s view.

Narko  suggested that they make their exit, and Rocky cheerfully told his boss that he was keen to go on holiday with his new friends. The door guards moved to stop them but didn’t seem overly confident given the intimidating presence of the group, and the addition of Kunai  to the fray, wielding his frightful chain, ended their resolve. The barkeep informed Narko  that he’d made an enemy of Krieg  Venusto , but indicated that the guards let them pass. As they left, Narko  warned Krieg  against making any future move against Rocky , threatening to give him a "scar so large it would make Rocky's look like a scratch" if he came near Rocky again. Rocky also asked Krieg  for the money he was owed, and was given 31 gp for his 22 years of effective servitude. He asked Narko  to check that all 5 coins were present.

With their newest recruit, the group reconvened outside and decided to split once more.

## The House in Wheatwall

Bird person , Narko , Rocky , Rodrick , and Merric  went to the house in Wheatwall to find this ’Scribbulus '. Seeing a group of children, Merric  decided to put on a show, hoping to get information out of them afterwards. While he created more smoke dragons, Rocky , Bird Person and Rodrick all got involved too, trying to top each other with their performances. Narko  just went to ask someone else. The children ended up with the street-show of a lifetime, and gladly told the group where Scribbulus  resided. Looking in that direction, they saw Narko  already pretty much there.

The door was open and, being the only one small enough to fit in the house, Merric investigated. Finding lots of books and hastily-strewn papers on animals, particularly turtles, he surmised where Scribbulus  might be. Scouting ahead, Bird Person saw a small figure on the beach flapping his arms in great distress, standing over some tiny turtles, while three great eagles soared overhead.

He communicated this to the others and they all set off straight for the beach. Bird Person immediately engaged the eagles with a hail of thorns and was rewarded with the startled cry of the birds. They were quick to retaliate however, and closed on him rapidly with their claws, wounding him severely. Arriving on the beach, Narko  fired his longbow into the eagle most wounded by Bird Person , bringing it crashing to the ground. To Scribbulus , everything happened as a blur of murderous individuals just appearing on the scene. He saw that the aaracokra was hurt and so did what he could to help, before yelling at the rest of the strangers to prevent more bloodshed. Rocky completely ignored this frantic ‘child', inspired Narko  with the promise of chicken, and then threw his hammer at the nearest eagle. The agile bird evaded the crude projectile, and it plummeted into the sand next to a concerned-looking Scribbulus .

Wounded but still in the fight, Bird Person utilised arcane energy to give his sword magical properties as he cleaved into the giant eagles, dealing one a serious wound. Narko  fired again, his new-found passion for chicken ensuring his arrow struck true in the final eagle. Finally entering into the combat with his little legs pumping, Merric  heeded Scribbulus’s  cry and used a powerful thunder wave to startle the birds. While one was in a frenzied rage and completely oblivious at this point, the other was overcome with fear and turned to flee. Bird Person was ready for the opening, however, and struck out with lightning reflexes, taking the bird's wing almost completely off.

The eagle spiralled downwards, but Scribbulus  ensured it landed safely and immediately began repairing the damage to the noble creature’s wing. Unfortunately for the next eagle, it received less TLC. Rocky  flung his hammer again, this time striking the bird directly in the breast and caving it in completely. As both bird and hammer fell to the ground, Rocky  caught his feathered trophy. Turning to Narko , he tore it clean in two and threw the second half to his new partner in chicken-crime, proclaiming that the fight was awesome and they had “killed like 5 chickens”. Given the events of the day the others resolved to put on a maths lesson at some point.

Quite taken aback by the violence of the whole affair, Scribbulus  was initially suspicious of this aggressive coterie. However, tempered by the fact that he saved one of the birds and the actions of Merric , the excitement of meeting his new adventuring party took over. He was excited by the diversity of the group and things were going well until Wilbur decided to erupt from his sand burrow underneath some of the more violent members of the party. However, bloodshed was narrowly averted and soon the group had seen the charm in Wilbur's cheeky little face. Once the group managed to persuade Rocky  that the turtles would not appreciate being launched into the sea, Wilbur shepherded the last of them as they scurried along, eager to escape this strange strange world they had been born into.

*We end the story as the group departed the beach to compete their final tasks. The story will resume next week as we follow Kunai , Khrom  and Bayul  as they go to release the wayward Rogue from the guardhouse...*