recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Episode 211: No Such Thing As A Photograph Of A River

**No Such Thing As A Photograph Of A River** is the 211th episode of *No Such Thing As A Fish*, the 3rd episode of the fifth year, and the 14th episode of 2018. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Queen's Hall, Edinburgh.

## Description

> Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss dinner party etiquette for 5-year-olds, ugly American shoes and divorcées falling down the stairs.
>
>

## Facts

* Unmarried people are more likely to fall down stairs than married people, and previously married people fall down more than both of them. (Schreiber)
* There's a tanning salon in St Andrews called "Sun-Tan-Drews". (Harkin)
* During the Second World War, the US government considered making all American shoes deliberately ugly. (Murray)
* The etiquette experts Debrett's run classes that teach 5-year-olds to have strong handshakes and navigate dinner parties. (Ptaszynski)

###  Audience Fact

Throughout this tour, the Elves gave away a copy of The Complete Second Year Cassette to the best audience-submitted fact.

> At the First Robot Olympics held in 1990 in Glasgow, the English competitor was disqualified from the climbing event because of "inappropriate behaviour in front of children" after it tried to mount the Russian robot. (Douglas Wood)
>
>

## Trivia

* This is the fifth stop on the 2018 Tour.
* James mentions Erasmus' book of etiquette for children, which was a half-time fact in South Korea v Ghana.

## Notes

1. ↑ Dan got his fact from the book *At Home: A Short History of Private Life* by Bill Bryson. (Amazon)
2. ↑ Bryson, in turn, got his fact from the book *The Staircase: Studies of Hazards, Falls, and Safer Design* by John Templer. (Amazon)
3. ↑ James' fact was told to him by fellow QI Elf Anne Miller, who used to live in St Andrews.
4. ↑ Sun-Tan-Drews on salonspy.co.uk
5. ↑ Smithsonian Magazine: These Photos Captured What Happened When the United States Started to Ration Shoes During WWII
6. ↑ Independent School Parent: Mind your manners: etiquette classes for kids
Episode 244: No Such Thing As A Fishman

**No Such Thing As A Fishman** is the 244th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 36th episode of the fifth year, and the 48th episode of 2018. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and special guest Stephen Fry. It was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Stephen Fry discuss frogs with regional accents, Canada's official tagline, and streaking in museums.
>
>

## Facts

* There was a make of toilet paper in Victorian England that was so posh that every sheet had a watermark to deter counterfeiters. (Fry)
* In 1972 a Canadian DJ held a contest to choose a national simile, like "as American as Apple pie". He chose "as Canadian as possible under the circumstances. (Murray)
* The scholar who discovered that the Noah's Ark story predates the Bible got so excited by it that he stripped and ran naked around the British Museum. (Ptaszynski)
* The rarest frog in England has a distinctive Norfolk accent. (Harkin)

 Trivia

* Stephen Fry appears, making his first appearance.
	+ Fry is promoting his book *Heroes*.
	+ This is Fry's only appearance other than in compilation episodes.
	+ As there are five people around the microphones, Dan Schreiber does not submit a fact.
* Fry mentions U and non-U, which was discussed at greater length in Episode 185: No Such Thing As Scottish Snow.
* Harkin mentions the correct way to hang toilet paper (over or under), which was the subject of a headline fact in Episode 275: No Such Thing As A Squashed Microbe.
* Fry repeatedly mentions Peter Jackson's *They Shall Not Grow Old*, but does not name it.
* Schreiber mentions Edward Bernays' work in changing the image of cigarettes - Bernays was also discussed in TBA for his work on bacon and eggs.
* Fry mentions Little Nell, who comes up again in Episode 277: No Such Thing As An Elephant Polo Rider In A Sombrero.
* The QI fact that only one species of frog goes "ribbit" is mentioned, having been mentioned in TBA.
* Harkin mentions Norfolk Island, which is also mentioned in the next episode.
Episode 343: No Such Thing As A Dolphin In An Escape Room

**No Such Thing As A Dolphin In An Escape Room** is the 343rd episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 31st episode of the seventh year, and the 43rd episode of 2020. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded from home due to COVID-19.

## Description

>  Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss bodacious inventions, heinous nuclear errors and most triumphant costume design.
>
> Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
>
>

## Facts

* During out-of-hours periods, hospital CT scanners are sometimes used to scan Egyptian mummies. (Ptaszynski)
* In 1973 British Rail successfully designed and patented a flying saucer. (Schreiber)
* In 2017 the US Defense Secretary had a light installed in his bathroom which would turn on if North Korea launched a nuclear missile. (Murray)
* Fashion historian Hilary Davidson has invented the Bill & Ted Test, which judges the historical accuracy of movie costumes by comparing them against the surprisingly accurate movie *Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure*. (Harkin)

## Trivia

* This is the twenty-ninth Working From Home episode due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
* Schreiber tells a story about the Beatles, which Harkin suggests is a myth. Schreiber's love for the Beatles has been brought up numerous times.
* Harkin has actually seen *Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure*.
* Murray's membership of improv group Austentatious is mentioned.
Episode 190: No Such Thing As A Magic Oven For Chimps

**No Such Thing As A Magic Oven For Chimps** is the 190th episode of *No Such Thing As A Fish*, the 34th episode of the fourth year, and the 45th episode of 2017. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at The Stand in Newcastle.

## Description

> Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss British boomerangs, primate rock-paper-scissors, and why the Catalans are so anti-cat.
>
>

## Facts

* Britain exports over 50,000 boomerangs every year to Australia. (Murray)
* The Catalan region does regular checks of websites that end with ".cat" to check that they're about Catalonia and not about cats. (Harkin)
* When Walmart opened in Germany, it scrapped its policy of making employees smile at customers because the Germans found it too weird. (Ptaszynski)
* It is really easy to beat chimpanzees at the game rock-paper-scissors. (Schreiber)

### Audience Fact

Throughout this tour, the Elves gave away a copy of *The Book of the Year* to the best audience-submitted fact.

> Cleaning your teeth is the only time you get to clean your skeleton. (Scott Robinson)
>
>

This fact was challenged by another audience member, but Scott won in a game of rock-paper-scissors and ended up winning the book.

## Trivia

* This is the second stop on the 2017 Tour.
	+ This is the second of two episodes at The Stand.
* The fact about a high-profile hacker's password being the name of his cat + "123" is brought up, having been previously mentioned in TBA

## Notes

1. ↑ BBC: Reality Check: Does the UK sell boomerangs to Australia?
2. ↑ The Washington Post: The curious case of .cat, the Internet’s weirdest, most radical domain
3. ↑ HuffPost: Why Did Walmart Leave Germany?
4. ↑ ScienceDaily: Chimpanzees learn rock-paper-scissors
Episode 264: No Such Thing As Bikes In Space

**No Such Thing As Bikes In Space** is the 264th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 4th episode of the sixth year, and the 15th episode of 2019. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Queen's Theatre in Barnstaple.

## Description

> Live from Barnstaple, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss live scarecrows, the first ever caravan holiday, and the billionaire with only three things to say.
>
>

## Facts

* The 95-year-old billionaire who controls Viacom and CBS communicates via an iPad pre-loaded with audio clips. Clips include "yes", "no", and "fuck you!" (Schreiber)
* Before scarecrows were straw dummies, they were living children. (Ptaszynski)
* The first ever leisure caravan had a man on a tricycle going ahead of it to make sure that the roads were good enough. (Murray)
* The gravity on Mars' smallest moon is so weak that, if you built a ramp on it, you could ride your bike into space. (Harkin)

 Trivia

* This is the sixth stop on the In No Particular Order tour.
* George Pullman was previously mentioned in Episode 251: No Such Thing As An Accidental George.
* Harkin makes reference to artificial insemination, which was discussed in Episode 261: No Such Thing As A Chocolate Train.
Redemption (song)

*The following article or section is incomplete. Please add accurate information to fill this article or section out.*

**Featured in**: Where the Story Begins

**Season 1 soundtrack**

**Songs**

Hope Begins • Roll With Me • Blood From My Veins • Burn in Hell • Overflow • Chips & Hennessy • Bubble & Peak • Wobby Woo • The Miami Drift • Keep It Funky • Kalifornia • And I'm Coming Home • Wait For Me • One of the Girls • Let the Dice Roll • What's Gone Will Never Leave • Home • Set It Off • **Redemption** • Just Say • Wildside • Downtown • The River • Voyage Home • Underdog • Better Ask Somebody • Keep Your Head Up • Heaven's Child • Keep Your Head • Alone • We Could Cry • King and Queen • Light 'Em Up • I See Fire • Unbreakable • Elephants

**Artists**

Dexter French • Wolfgang Black • Raphael Lake • Daniel Farrant • Paul Rawson • Virgil Ruff • Rupert Pope • John Robertson • Oh No • Brian Dougans • Gaz Cobain • Paul Haslinger • Classik • Kidd Marley • All Good Things • Ben Fisher • Blues Sarceno • Stephan Bertrand • Scarlett Burke • Jared Gutstadt • A Void • James McLean • Emanuel Vo Williams • Grayson Voltaire • Cut One • David O'Dowda • Smidi • Nine One One • TJ Stafford • Robin Loxley • Naomi August • Atlantic Line • Frank Fields • Mr. J • Giles Palmer • Lee Richardson • Jonathan Murill • Tom Ford • James Cocozza • Sarah Norman • Graycie • Lani Misalucha • We the Committee

**Albums**

*Folk Electronica 2* • *Garage Blues 4* • *Girl Garage* • *Girl Garage 2* • *Hipster Hop* • *OHNO* • *Deep Chill* • *Need For Speed: Undercover* (Original Soundtrack) • *Post Grunge* • *Indie Folk 2* • *Indie Soul* • *Indie Chill* • *Indie Blues* • *Indie Americana* • *Epic Hip Hop* • *Epic Hip Hop 2* • *Velvet Ears presents: David O'Dowda* • *Chamber Pop* • *Alt Hip Hop* • *Dark Country 4* • *Exit to Intro* • *Made, Vol. 9* • *Made, Vol. 11* • *Made, Vol. 13* • *Made, Vol. 16* • *Future Soul* • *Dark Pop* • *Superpop (Reaching High)* • *Superpop (Reaching High 2)* • *This Won't End Quietly (AA)*

**Record Labels**

Extreme Music • Builders International • Family Ties, LLC • Nettwerk Productions • Jingle Punks • Hype Music • Superpop.Co
Episode 28: No Such Thing As A Man-Eating Clam

**No Such Thing As A Man-Eating Clam** is the 28th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 28th episode of the first year, and the 43rd episode of 2014. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Anna (@nosuchthing), and Andy (@andrewhunterm) discuss washing with wine, dogs eating homework, counting with your loins, and all things clammy...
>
>

## Facts

* Over 100 people used to watch Louis XIV of France getting dressed every morning. (Murray)
* There is an original Picasso that no-one will ever see because it was eaten by his dog. (Harkin)
* During World War II the US Navy diving manual contained detailed instructions for what to do if you were eaten by a giant clam. (Schreiber)
* A "hundred" used to be 120. (Ptaszynski)

## Trivia

* Louis XIV is the subject of another headline fact in Episode 210: No Such Thing As A Sheep's Bedside Table.
* Schreiber's poor pronunciation of the name Van Gogh in this episode is referred to in Episode 88: No Such Thing As A Moon Sausage Bullet, where he reads out a tweet criticising him for it.
Arenberg

The **Arenberg** is a cultural center in Antwerp, Belgium. Built in the 1850s as a banquet hall for an artistic, literary and scientific society, it became a theatre hall, and is now primarily a performing arts center. It hosted one episode of the QI podcast No Such Thing As A Fish during its In No Particular Order tour.

## No Such Thing As A Fish

* Episode 287: No Such Thing As Pets In Heaven
Episode 231: No Such Thing As A 24-Minute Podcast

**No Such Thing As A 24-Minute Podcast** is the 231st episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 23rd episode of the fifth year, and the 35th episode of 2018. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and QI Elf Alex Bell. It was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss the first ever stripper to jump out of a cake, the Queen of Sweden's business cards, and why holding your breath underwater is cheating.
>
>

## Facts

* The world record for the longest time holding one's breath is 24 minutes and 3 seconds, exactly the same length as this podcast episode. (Ptaszynski)
* Nikola Tesla was one of the guests at the first ever party with a stripper jumping out of a cake. (Bell)
* When in London, Queen Louise of Sweden always carried a card saying "I am the Queen of Sweden" in case she was hit by a bus. (Schreiber)
* In 2017 in the UK, two 8-year-olds were caught speeding. So were three people aged 99. (Harkin)

 Trivia

* Regular presenter Andrew Hunter Murray is absent.
	+ Alex Bell guests.
* Ptaszynski's fact was dependent on Harkin editing the podcast down to 24 minutes and 3 seconds. Though the original release was longer, the episode was later edited down to that exact length.
	+ The theme song Wasps is sped up in this episode, perhaps as a joke or perhaps as a genuine attempt by Harkin to shorten the podcast.
* Harkin has recently watched *The Girl in the Red Velvet Swing*.
Episode 152: No Such Thing As A Sleepover With Lions

**No Such Thing As A Sleepover With Lions** is the 152nd episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 48th episode of the third year, and the 7th episode of 2017. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss self-consuming breasts, eating lions' leftovers, and why we're thirty seconds closer to the end of the world.
>
>

## Facts

* The Doomsday Clock was originally set at 7 minutes to midnight because the artist responsible for it thought it looked good. (Murray)
* Some villages in the Central African Republic deliberately allow lions to live nearby so they can steal their food. (Harkin)
* There is a Victorian time capsule buried underneath Cleopatra's Needle which contains photographs of the twelve best looking women in England. (Schreiber)
* After women stop breastfeeding, their breasts eat themselves. (Ptaszynski)

## Trivia

* Tickets for the 3rd anniversary live show of Fish is plugged here, which was released as the podcast Episode 155: No Such Thing As Hurricane Schmurricane.
* Muhammad Ali Pasha, who gave Cleopatra's Needle to the British, is part of a headline fact in Episode 250: No Such Thing As The Mysterious Chamber.
* The fact about people having fewer menstrual cycles in hunter-gatherer societies was brought up before in Episode 110: No Such Thing As A Dull Post Box.
Episode 277: No Such Thing As An Elephant Polo Rider In A Sombrero

**No Such Thing As An Elephant Polo Rider In A Sombrero** is the 277th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 17th episode of the sixth year, and the 28th episode of 2019. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the China Theatre in Stockholm, Sweden.

## Description

> Live from Stockholm, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Swedish cyborgs, swimming pools for horses, and self-destructing Game Of Thrones scripts.
>
>

## Facts

* Sweden has more than 4,000 cyborgs. (Murray)
* Queen Elizabeth I's ladies-in-waiting would try on her underwear every morning to make sure it hadn't been poisoned. (Harkin)
* The world champion Polo player builds swimming pools for his horses whenever they get injured. (Ptaszynski)
* To prevent spoilers getting out, some Game of Thrones scripts were built to self-detonate. (Schreiber)

 Trivia

* This is the nineteenth stop on the In No Particular Order tour, and the second in Sweden after the previous episode.
* Cyborgs were previously discussed in Episode 184 and Episode 186.
	+ Schreiber refers to a documentary he was in about cyborgs called *TBA*.
* Elizabeth I's ladies-in-waiting were part of a headline fact in Episode 3: No Such Thing As The Middle Ages.
* Louis XIV was the subject of headline facts in Episode 28: No Such Thing As A Man-Eating Clam and Episode 210: No Such Thing As A Sheep's Bedside Table.
* The dubious account of Edmund Ironside being stabbed while on the toilet was previously discussed in TBA.
* Ptaszynski checked her facts about polo with Piers Fletcher, who is a fan of the sport.
* The plot of The Old Curiosity Shop was discussed in Episode 244: No Such Thing As A Fishman.
Episode 342: No Such Thing As A Presidential Fight Club

**No Such Thing As A Presidential Fight Club** is the 342nd episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 30th episode of the seventh year, and the 42nd episode of 2020. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber. It was recorded live at the 2020 London Podcast Festival, in the Kings Place, King's Cross, London.

## Description

>  Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the most badass members of the Roosevelt family, the legend of Barry Towncouncil, and what on Earth a not-a-bird is.
>
> Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
>
>

## Facts

* Theodore Roosevelt was once shot in the chest but survived thanks to a 50-page-long speech tucked into his coat pocket. He delivered the speech reading from pages that now had two bullet holes in them. (Schreiber)
* Some squirrels can put themselves in a deep freeze for the winter, then thaw themselves out to have a pee, and then freeze themselves again. (Murray)
* In 1385 a 4-year court case began after two knights embarassingly turned up to a battle wearing the same coat of arms. (Harkin)
* The Audubon bird protection society has warned its members against birdsplaining. (Ptaszynski)

## Trivia

* This is the first Live episode of the podcast since Episode 301: No Such Thing As The Queen's Christmas Burlesque, as live events had not been possible due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
	+ This is the first non-working from home episode since Episode 332: No Such Thing As An Innocent Apple, which was recorded at the QI Offices pre-lockdown.
* After Murray suggests that Theodore Roosevelt "sort of invented piranhas", Schreiber asserts that Murray must have his notes.
* Ptaszynski mentions the fact that there is no such thing as a seagull from TBA.
	+ Ptaszynski mentions the twitter account @nosuchseagull.
	+ Schreiber's biggest takeaway from this fact is that Ptaszynski is on twitter.
	+ Ptaszynski originally gives the name as @nosuchgull, but Alex Bell sends Schreiber a WhatsApp correcting her.
* Ptaszynski suggests that Murray only found his fact about Graham Moss because he was googling moss news, refering to Murray's moss obsession from Episodes 315, 319 and 324.
Episode 175: No Such Thing As A Rice Krispie With Feelings

**No Such Thing As A Rice Krispie With Feelings** is the 175th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 19th episode of the fourth year, and the 30th episode of 2017. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss expert plastic sushi artists, the world's first bendy straws, and how fake dog noses help detect bombs.
>
>

## Facts

* It takes 10 years to learn how to make artificial sushi. (Murray)
* When Mount Vesuvius erupted, it created mini-volcanoes in some people's heads. (Ptaszynski)
* The first bendy straws were used by people in hospital. (Harkin)
* Bomb-detectors in America work 16 times better when they are fitted with a fake dog nose on the end. (Schreiber)

## Trivia

* Murray refers to himself as "Lightning", a reference to Episode 149: No Such Thing As The Train King of Europe.
* James defines the **“The Old Ptaszynski Special”** as being when Anna: ***“says something ridiculous and then back tracks immediately”***
Episode 274: No Such Thing As A Polite Baby

**No Such Thing As A Polite Baby** is the 274th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 14th episode of the sixth year, and the 25th episode of 2019. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Brighton Dome.

## Description

> Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Japanese musical floorboards, how much meat is in a Pepperami, and where you'll find the rudest babies.
>
>

## Facts

* Babies who live in London are ruder than babies from the West Midlands. (Muray)
* In 17th century Japan the super-rich would protect their homes from burglars by installing musical floorboards. (Schreiber)
* According to its ingredients, Peperami contains 108% pork. (Harkin)
* Baby songbirds have in-built nappies. (Ptaszynski)

 Trivia

* This is the sixteenth stop on the In No Particular Order tour.
Episode 260: No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage

**No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage** is the 260th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 52nd and final episode of the fifth year, and the 11th episode of 2019. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Tivoli Theatre in Aberdeen, Scotland.

## Description

> Live from Aberdeen, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the banning of sliced bread, broken turtle penises and muscly bums.
>
>

## Facts

* 15 years after it was invented, the US Government banned sliced bread. (Murray)
* A common problem for ice hockey players is that they have such muscular bums that they can't find jeans that fit. (Harkin)
* When it was playing on Broadway, Bill Murray went to see the musical *Groundhog Day*. Then, the next day, he went again. (Schreiber)
* There is only one confirmed male Yangtze Giant Softshell Turtle left in the world... and his penis is broken. (Ptaszynski)

 Trivia

* This is the second stop on the In No Particular Order tour, and the final episode of Year Five.
	+ Mainland European locations are announced in this episode, including Gothenburg, Stockholm, Oslo, Amsterdam, Groningen, Geneva, Copenhagen, and Antwerp.
		- The Groningen episode was lost due to technical issues.
	+ On the day of broadcast, the Fish team were about to go on stage for Episode 262: No Such Thing As A Man In A Wine Bottle.
* Ptaszynski frequently cites the British Newspaper Archive - it was part of her headline fact in Episode 153: No Such Thing As Mulled Wine At The Dawn Of Time.
* Murray's fact about Parisian bakers having to organise their holidays is discussed again in Episode 295: No Such Thing As A 200m Baguette.
Episode 252: No Such Thing As The Shark Tooth Fairy

**No Such Thing As The Shark Tooth Fairy** is the 252nd episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 44th episode of the fifth year, and the 3rd episode of 2019. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss baby sharks, bankrupt lottery winners, and the city where the streets are paved with used toilet paper.
>
>

## Facts

* In Amsterdam the roads are paved with used toilet paper. (Ptaszynski)
* One frequent result of winning the lottery is going bankrupt. (Murray)
* The 10th Correspondence Chess Olympiad, which is done by post, took so long that the countries of the gold and bronze medallists no longer existed. (Schreiber)
* When they're about to be born, baby sharks sometimes poke their heads out of their mothers, look around, decide against it, and retreat back into the womb. (Harkin)

 Trivia

* Harkin was cited by The Sun newspaper in a piece about the factual inaccuracies in the song *Baby Shark*.
Episode 216: No Such Thing As A Lobster War

**No Such Thing As A Lobster War** is the 216th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 8th episode of the fifth year, and the 19th episode of 2018. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Astor Theatre in Perth, Australia.

## Description

> Live from Perth, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the most annoying man in history, the regretful inventor of the Australian labradoodle, and how lobsters nearly started a war.
>
>

## Facts

* In the 1960s, Brazil and France almost went to war with each other over whether lobsters crawl or swim. (Ptaszynski)
* In 1350, there was a man called William Standupryght, and he annoyed everyone else in his village so much that every single one of them moved away. (Harkin)
* The man who invented the Australian Labradoodle deeply, deeply regrets it. (Schreiber)
* The word "shit-faced" originally meant "having a very small face". (Murray)

 Trivia

* This is the first stop on the Australasia Tour.
	+ This is the first ever Fish live show outside of Europe, the first in Oceania, and the first in Australia.
	+ This episode was uploaded one day after its recording, James having edited it on his laptop in his hotel room.
* James mentions Dan's father's "samurai scissors" from Episode 55.

## Notes

1. ↑ Wikipedia: Lobster War
2. ↑ Cambridge University Press: *A Social History of England, 1200-1500* (Google Books)
3. ↑ BBC: Labradoodle creator says it's his 'life's regret'
4. ↑ Slate: Sh\*t-faced: a brief history of the word.
Episode 220: No Such Thing As A Million Dots

**No Such Thing As A Million Dots** is the 220th episode of *No Such Thing As A Fish*, the 12th episode of the fifth year, and the 23rd episode of 2018. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, and Anna Ptaszynski, and guest QI Elf James Rawson. It was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden.

## Description

> Anna, James, Andy and other James discuss bouliganism, flying on Titan, and tiny, tiny wasps.
>
>

## Facts

* Usain Bolt could fly on Titan. (Rawson)
* In 1604, one of King James I's grooms rode from London to York and back 5 times in the space of 5 days for a bet. (Ptaszynski)
* There are species of wasps the size of amoeba. (Murray)
* When pétanque players get into fights, it is known in the French press as "bouliganism". (Harkin)

 Trivia

* Regular host Dan Schreiber is absent.
	+ In his absence, Anna Ptaszynski hosts.
	+ James Rawson guests, making his first appearance.
* Usain Bolt's speed was a topic in Episode 218, during a discussion about how human reaction time limits starting speed in races.
* James mentions a giant 10-centimeter-long amoeba. Xenophyophores, as they are called, were previously discussed in Episode 90.
* James mentions that Erica McAlister would love hearing facts about flies.

## Notes

1. ↑ Space.com: Usain Bolt Could Fly on Saturn Moon Titan: Here's How
2. ↑ Early English Books Online: *The abridgment of the English Chronicle* by John Stow [direct source]
3. ↑ Discover Magazine: How tiny wasps cope with being smaller than amoebas
4. ↑ Wikipedia: Megaphragma mymaripenne
5. ↑ The Telegraph: No-jeans rule raises tempers among France's pétanque players [direct source]
6. ↑ The New York Times: Opinion | Meanwhile: French summer under threat
7. ↑ Sydney Morning Herald: First bouliganism, now death
Episode 313: No Such Thing As A Dangerous Coconut

**No Such Thing As A Dangerous Coconut** is the 313th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 1st episode of the seventh year, and the 12th episode of 2020. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss fruit that's expensive and dangerous; and people who got very hot and very cold.
>
> Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows,merchandiseand more episodes.
>
>

## Facts

* Computer pioneer Charles Babbage once cooked himself in an oven for 4 minutes at 265 degrees just to see what would happen. (Schreiber)
* The Manchineel tree is so toxic that if you park under it and it rains, the drips from the branches can strip the paint from your car. (Harkin)
* Cryonic freezing chambers are built to store up to 4 bodies and 5 heads. (Ptaszynski)
* If Hamlet had wanted to buy a lemon, it would've cost him €700. (Murray)

## Trivia

* This is the first episode of Year Seven.
	+ This is the last non-Working From Home episode until Episode 332: No Such Thing As An Innocent Apple.
* Charles Babbage was also discussed in Episode 305: No Such Thing As A Sentient Jelly.
* Mount Vesuvius and Pompeii were discussed in the previous episode.
* After Murray brings up two fake facts in order to debunk them, his own headline fact is called into question, and he claims he has Dan's Notes.
* Murray got his fact from the guidebook to Kronborg castle, which he bought during the In No Particular Order tour's stop in Copenhagen.
	+ Murray mentions this trip again in Episode 347: No Such Thing As A Bacon Scented Sleep Mask.
Aces And Eights

The **Aces And Eights Saloon Bar** is live music and comedy venue, located in Tufnell Park, in the London Borough of Camden. It has hosted three live episodes of No Such Thing As A Fish.

## No Such Thing As A Fish

Numerous live episodes of the podcast were recorded here:

* Episode 30: No Such Thing As A Song in the Sound of Music
* Episode 41: No Such Thing As Reginald the Red-Nosed Reindeer
* Episode 75: No Such Thing As A Diarrhoea Drive
Episode 336: No Such Thing As A Delicious Emergency Salad

**No Such Thing As A Delicious Emergency Salad** is the 336th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 24th episode of the seventh year, and the 36th episode of 2020. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, and Dan Schreiber, and special guest Sara Pascoe. It was recorded from home due to COVID-19.

## Description

>  Dan, James, Andy and Sara Pascoe discuss DNA, 747s and TMI from a certain beetle.
>
> Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
>
>

## Facts

* For 15 years German police hunted a serial killer who didn't exist. (Pascoe)
* To run a Boeing 747 you need a binder full of floppy disks. (Murray)
* In the 1920 US Election, which was the first after women got the vote in America, only one woman in the whole of Georgia managed to cast a vote. (Harkin)
* There is a species of Japanese water beetle which survives being eaten by a frog by crawling through the frog's body and escaping out of its anus. (Schreiber)

## Trivia

* This is the twenty-third Working From Home episode due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
* Regular presenter Anna Ptaszynski is absent for the second week in a row.
	+ Sara Pascoe guests, making her third appearance.
	+ Pascoe is promoting her book *Sex Power Money*.
Episode 134: No Such Thing As Sauce for the King of Sweden

**No Such Thing As Sauce for the King of Sweden** is the 134th episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 30th episode of the third year, and the 41st episode of 2016. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, London.

## Description

> Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss virtual grouse shooting, stolen Van Gogh paintings and what happens after you win a Nobel Prize.
>
>

## Facts

* One of the stalls at the 2016 Conservative Party conference is a grouse shooting simulator. (Ptaszynski)
* Comets sound like a cross between a cat and a dolphin. (Murray)
* Nobel Prize winners always imediately return their award, so they don't lose it in the subsequent party. (Harkin)
* Two recently recovered stolen Van Gogh paintings would buy you enough cocaine that you could snort a continuous line from Greenwich to Moscow. (Schreiber)

## Trivia

* This is the second 'dummy run' for series two of No Such Thing As The News, and the second episode in a row recorded live at Up The Creek.
	+ Ptaszynski promotes tickets to the recording of No Such Thing As The News: Series 2, Episode 1.
Episode 118: No Such Thing As Dinner on a Spider

**No Such Thing As Dinner on a Spider** is the 118th episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 14th episode of the third year, and the 25th episode of 2016. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> This week Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wristwatch thermometers, cheat codes for lifts, and glow-in-the-dark vomit.
>
>

## Facts

* The fear of lifts can be cured by starving the subject and forcing them to eat all of their meals in lifts. (Harkin)
* The Russian Space Agency light their rockets using giant wooden matchsticks. (Schreiber)
* The film *Who Framed Roger Rabbit* is based on a true story. (Murray)
* The first ever wristwatch doubled-up as a thermometer. (Ptaszynski)
Episode 288: No Such Thing As An Elephant In The Airport

**No Such Thing As An Elephant In The Airport** is the 288th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 28th episode of the sixth year, and the 39th episode of 2019. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

>  Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss elephantine super-sniffing, Thomas Jefferson's version of the Bible, and André the Giant's all-night bender.
>
> Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
>
>

## Facts

* Elephants can tell how much of something is in a closed bucket by smell alone. (Harkin)
* Thomas Jefferson cut his Bible to pieces and glued it back together in the order he thought it should be written. (Ptaszynski)
* In 19th century America, caviar was a free bar snack. (Murray)
* Wrestling star André the Giant was so massive that once when he drunkenly passed out in a hotel lobby, staff couldn't move him and had to cordon him off with velvet ropes until he woke up. (Schreiber)

 Trivia

* Another item in the Smithsonian is TBA.
* It is very difficult to tell the sex of a Sturgeon. The same problem is mentioned in TBA and TBA with eels.
* Ptaszynski talks about not understanding professional wrestling, which was previously discussed in TBA.
* Harkin hasn't seen *The Princess Bride*.
Episode 25: No Such Thing As A Randy Rat In Polyester Pants

**No Such Thing As A Randy Rat In Polyester Pants** is the 25th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 25th episode of the first year, and the 40th episode of 2014. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm), Anna (@nosuchthing), discuss rats wearing pants, pizzas on Venus, pillow fighting in the trenches and how to avoid incest in Iceland.
>
>

## Facts

* Rats that wear polyester trousers cannot get erections. (Ptaszynski)
* During World War I, entertainments for the troops included organised pillow fights, wheelbarrow races, and wrestling on the backs of mules. (Murray)
* The atmosphere of Venus is so hot that if you took a pizza out of a freezer it would cook in three seconds. (Harkin)
* In Iceland there is a phone app that tells you if you are related to the person you are (contemplating) having sex with. (Schreiber)

## Trivia

* The study into the effect of polyester, cotton, and wool trousers on the sex life of rats won the 2016 Ig Nobel Prize for Reproduction.
Bristol Beacon

**Bristol Beacon** is a concert hall in Bristol, which is used as a classical and rock music, comedy, and wrestling venue. It hosted one episode of the QI podcast No Such Thing As A Fish, but the audio was lost, so it was recreated in the QI Offices.

This venue was f*ormerly Colston Hall, but was renamed in 2020 in the wake of protests regarding Edward Colston's major involvement in the slave trade.*

## No Such Thing As A Fish

* Episode 228: No Such Thing As Seatbelts On Your Sofa (original audio lost)
Chortle Comedy Book Festival

The **Chortle Comedy Book Festival** is a comedy book festival run by the UK comedy website Chortle. While it is usually held at the British Library in Kings Cross, in 2014 the festival was hosted at the London Irish Centre in Camden. This was the year that the No Such Thing As A Fish team recorded a live podcast. while promoting the QI book 1,411 QI Facts to Knock You Sideways.

## No Such Thing As A Fish

* Episode 35: No Such Thing As A Good Sloth Onesie
Episode 132: No Such Thing As A Creepy Weather Forecaster

**No Such Thing As A Creepy Weather Forecaster** is the 132nd episode ofNo Such Thing As A Fish, the 28th episode of the third year, and the 39th episode of 2016. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss computer-playing cars, fratricidal kookaburras and what paper was first used for.
>
>

## Facts

* The least creepy job in the world is weather forecaster. (Harkin)
* Self-driving cars are playing *Grand Theft Auto* in order to learn how to drive better. (Schreiber)
* Kookaburras are born with a hook in their upper beak which is specifically for murdering their siblings. (Murray)
* The first ever mention of paper recommended it as a cure for frizzy hair. (Ptaszynski)

## Trivia

* Dubious facts from the previous episode are corrected.
* The first "dummy run" for series two of No Such Thing As The News is plugged, which was released as Episode 133: No Such Thing As Paranoid Ants.
* James mentions how, in GTAV you can play as a Yeti.
Episode 243: No Such Thing As Jean-Paul Sartre's Crabs

**No Such Thing As Jean-Paul Sartre's Crabs** is the 243rd episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 35th episode of the fifth year, and the 47th episode of 2018. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Union Chapel in Islington, London.

## Description

> Live from the Union Chapel in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail backpacks, the band from space, and Alexander Graham Bell's talking dog.
>
>

== Facts ==

* When you went to the toilet on a World War II U-Boat, you had to summon a specially trained member of the crew to flush it after you'd been. (Ptaszynski)
* Alexander Graham Bell taught his dog to say "How are you grandmama?" (Harkin)
* To avoid being eaten by predators, some crustaceans wear disgusting-tasting snails as backpacks. (Murray)
* There is a rock band made up entirely of NASA astronauts called Max Q. The band has a constantly roating lineup, as they can't be sure that all members will be on Earth at the same time. (Schreiber)

 Trivia

* Stephen Fry's appearance on the next week's episode is plugged, as is the Fish team's Reddit AMA.
* Ptaszynski mentions the story of U-1206 being sunk by an improperly flushed toilet, which was also a fact on QI, but is considered dubious.
* Dan Schreiber asked for a new middle name for his birthday, much like Alexander Graham Bell.
* Murray mentions the QI fact that Alexander Graham Bell wanted people to answer the phone with "Ahoy-hoy!"

 Audience Fact

To promote its release, the Elves give away a copy of The Book of the Year 2018 to the best audience-submitted fact.

* In 2015 France called on its allies for more help in Mali. Luxembourg agreed to double its military presence in the country, and promptly added one more soldier. (Daniel Simon)
Episode 248: No Such Thing As The Shatner Bunny

**No Such Thing As The Shatner Bunny** is the 248th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 40th episode of the fifth year, and the 52nd episode of 2018. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded at the Union Chapel in Islington, London.

## Description

> Live from Union Chapel, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world's oldest krill, the £20 million bed, and the Christmas decorations that go up in September.
>
>

## Facts

* The world's oldest krill was nine years old and was called Alan. (Schreiber)
* Franklin D. Roosevelt used to hold cocktail parties during World War II where the only rule was "don't mention the war". (Ptaszynski)
* The prop bed used in the classic British comedy film *Carry On Dick* is worth £20 million! (Murray)
* Shops in the Philippines put their Christmas decorations up on the 1st of September. In total they stay up for 35% of the year. (Harkin)

 Trivia

* This is the 2018 Christmas Special of Fish.
* John Lloyd found Schreiber's fact in the book *The Curious Life of Krill*.
* James is not familar with the character Qui-Gon Jinn, mispronouncing his name and being unsure of his gender. This means he has not seen *Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace.*

 Audience Fact

To promote its release, the Elves give away a copy of The Book of the Year 2018 to the best audience-submitted fact.

* The composer Rossini was bald, but he didn't want to admit it, so he had 10 wigs of different lengths which he changed every week. After 10 weeks he'd announce he had booked a hair appointment and go back to the first wig. (Daniel Atkinson)
Episode 316: No Such Thing As A Leg Made From Milk

**No Such Thing As A Leg Made From Milk** is the 316th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 4th episode of the seventh year, and the 15th episode of 2020. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Ptaszynski, and Dan Schreiber, and was recorded from home due to COVID-19.

## Description

> Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Meaty Biscuits, Leather Baths and Other Strange Tails.
>
> Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
>
>

## Facts

* The inventor of condensed milk, Gail Borden, had previously tried inventing a biscuit made of meat. (Murray)
* In 2014 four non-related economists with the surname Goodman published a paper about the economics of surname-sharing. The paper was titled A Few Goodmen. (Schreiber)
* If you wanted to have a bath in Paris in the 1820s, you could have one delivered to your door. (Ptaszynski)
* Dogs can suffer from a sprained tail if they get too happy. (Harkin)

## Trivia

* This is the third Working From Home episode due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
* The complete First Year of Fish was re-released online due to the pandemic, and the No Such Thing As A Fish LP went on sale.
* Murray mentions that the censorship of Elsie the Cow was briefly brought up in TBA.
* Murray refers to Schreiber's love of The Beatles.
	+ Harkin makes reference to Episode 314, when Alex Bell replaced Murray.
	+ Schreiber makes reference to the title of Episode 286: No Such Thing As A Banana With Wifi, although he gets the number completely wrong.
Episode 290: No Such Thing As A Winter Fax Machine

**No Such Thing As A Winter Fax Machine** is the 290th episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, the 30th episode of the sixth year, and the 41st episode of 2019. It features regular presenters James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, and Anna Ptaszynski, and guest QI Elf Alex Bell. It was recorded at the QI Offices in Covent Garden, London.

## Description

> Alex, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Tolstoy's hat-wearing habits, nuclear-powered icebreakers (literal, not conversational) and how to hack a fax from the moon.
>
>

## Facts

* In Japan you can buy left-handed chopsticks. (Harkin)
* The fax machine is older than the telephone. (Bell)
* A boatload of researchers are about to deliberately get themselves stuck in the Arctic ice for a year. (Ptaszynski)
* Leo Tolstoy, one of the greatest writers of all time, frequently wore two hats in case his head got cold. (Murray)

 Trivia

* Regular host Dan Schreiber is absent.
	+ In his absence Alex Bell hosts, making his thirty-ninth appearance.
	+ This is the first time someone other than Schreiber, Ptaszynski or Murray has hosted, and the first time a non-regular has hosted. (James Harkin has never hosted.)
* Cariad Lloyd helped put Harkin in touch with someone knowledgeable about chopsticks.
* Murray being left-handed was previously mentioned in Episode 102: No Such Thing As A Water Mortar.
* Harkin debunks the Wade Davis story about making a knife out of frozen poo, which was discussed in Episode 112: No Such Thing As A Lego Aircraft Carrier.
* Murray compares Tolstoy recording all his failures in his diary to the fact about Isaac Newton doing a similar thing, which was first mentioned in Episode 91: No Such Thing As Apocalypse 1988.
* Murray points out that Tolstoy translated his own version of the Bible, similar to Thomas Jefferson re-ordering the Bible which was a headline fact in Episode 288: No Such Thing As An Elephant In The Airport.
Anne Miller

**Anne Miller** is a QI Elf who has appeared on, and researches for, No Such Thing As A Fish.

## Appearances

Miller is the second-most frequent guest on the podcast, after Alex Bell.

* Episode 10: No Such Thing As A Soggy Monk
* International Factball: Italy v Switzerland
* Episode 16: No Such Thing As A Ghost in Poland
* Episode 20: No Such Thing As A Dangerous Daffodil
* Episode 40: No Such Thing As Captain Trousers
* Episode 44: No Such Thing As Vegan Fryup
* Episode 48: No Such Thing As A Pokémon-Playing Goldfish
* Episode 66: No Such Thing As A Robotic Margaret Atwood
* Episode 73: No Such Thing As A Useless Condom
* Episode 81: No Such Thing As A Jellyfish Jelly
* Episode 91: No Such Thing As Apocalypse 1988
* Episode 115: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird Pilot
* Episode 126: No Such Thing As A Boy Named Blclintn
* Episode 137: No Such Thing As Churchill's Secret Parrot
* Episode 149: No Such Thing As The Train King of Europe
* Episode 180: No Such Thing As Playing Snake On A Plane
* Episode 238: No Such Thing As A Low Sofa
* Episode 251: No Such Thing As An Accidental George
* Episode 308: No Such Thing As The Land Of Flying Sheep
* Episode 319: No Such Thing As 19th Century Feudal Japanese Monopoly
* Episode 377: No Such Thing As The Mole Street Journal
* Episode 481: No Such Thing As Taming A Plane
* Episode 507: No Such Thing As Fangtooth Boxing

## Trivia

* Miller's twitter account is @miller\_anne.
* Miller became a QI Elf when she had a tour of the QI Offices, then saw an interesting fact at the Dundee Science Centre a few days later. Upon emailing this fact to John Lloyd, she was offered a job.
* Miller is from Dundee, Scotland, and has one brother.
	+ Miller lived in St Andrews.
* Miller was on the QI Elves' Only Connect team, with James Harkin and Andrew Hunter Murray.
* Miller studied Politics and Sociology at the University of Edinburgh.
* The Pottermore test put Miller in Gryffindor.