Creepypasta Critic 5: The True (Or False) Horrors Of Animal Crossing & The (adventures of) jus(tin)tin biephr theorie

**(Hello, I'm the Creepypasta Critic. I remember it because it's my name; what did you expect, dumbasses? Oh boy, it's been a while since I've ranted on some horrible pastas. (*To be fair, no one was harassing me to make more of these.*) But, here I am again, taking time out of my precious life to please you guys. And what better way to make a comeback then to look at two stories that both look like they were written by braindead zombies? Both stories today fail in many different ways, and of course, you're thinking to yourself "What stories could be farther apart than Aladdin dying compared to a magical time-traveling jounel?" Well, I've got some bad apples today. The first being the millionth Deletion Log Refugee video game pasta on this wiki whose protagonist is so confused on his actions that I would think that he lived on a planet called Htrae, and the second being the worst satire of a theory that could possibly exist that was probably typed up faster than it takes someone to read it. So let's not keep these pastas alive and breathing. Let's kill these fuckers as quickly as possible.)**

Ok so this won't be like other crap from other creepy pastas **(It's a video game pasta. What the fuck will make your pasta SO ORIGINAL?)** (EVEN THOUGH I DO**(O)**DO**(O)** IT). You see on here. **(Of course I can see. I wouldn't be reading this if I couldn't see. DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN?)** Let me tell you. I AM A BIG FAN OF NINTENDO. **(REALLY? I NEVER KNEW! THANKS FOR TELLING ME THAT!)** I am also a fan of the ANIMAL CROSSING franchise. **(Mario is HONESTLY better to ME.)** Anyways. Let me explain this story to you with utmost **(lolololol im so smart)** fashion. My Name is Nate Smith (Changed so nobody gets my real name). **(Why would you put your real name in any pasta?)**

I had just gotten another gamecube for a nostalgic reason, I loved the gamecube better than most Nintendo consoles. **(Having 2 GameCubes will certainly help Nintendo update the GameCube!)** Don't get me wrong I love the wii and 64. But the gamecube is just awesome. **(I thought the Gamecube was convenient AND awesome, but different strokes different folks.)** Anyways Enough ranting. **(THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE RANTING?!?)** I remember playing Animal Crossing as a kid when I got the gamecube. I loved it and it's cuteness of every character. Anyways after remembering this, I decided to go down to one of the local game shop pawn stores to get Animal Crossing. **(There's a store in your town that sells video games and pawn? Oh, quit booing me!)** I walked in and asked the clerk if he had Animal Crossing for the gamecube, He stated "We have a few copies in the Nintendo Bin over there to your right". I was happy about this and proceeded to the bin. I found some games I wanted to take as well like, Super Smash Brothers Brawl Melee and Custom Robos. I also only seemed to find one copy of animal crossing in the bin. I checked it to see if it was ok enough to buy and it was almost like it was brand new. I proceeded to the clerk and bought the games for a steal. **(Which means he literally stole it, because AC still sells for 45 bucks used to this day!)**

When I got home I decided to play Melee first, After a few hours of playing and unlocking a few characters, I put in Animal Crossing. **(And wouldn't you know it, but Super Smash Bros Melee isn't referenced again in this pasta! Don't you just love to waste time reading pointless shit that goes nowhere?)** I was excited a bit and when it was put in my screen froze**(n)** for a few seconds stuck on the gamecube start up screen. I reset it a few times after my 5th time it worked.As I got to the title screen everything looked normal. I noticed though when I pressed start, I saw Tom **(Barnes & Noble)** Nook with Bloodshot Eyes and Blood on his pants for a split second. I was kinda of scared but it must of been my imagination. Anyways as I started it started me off on the train like usual but nobody was there. The Train had no driver and the person talking to me was that one person from before. Being Curious I Continued to speak to the person and made my character and town. I named the town Cherry Ville and my Character name Nate,**(And...HOW does this help the plot? Is the color of cherries supposed to represent blood?)** I always name characters after my real name. **(..........................................YOU SAID AT THE BEGINNING THAT "NATE" WAS A FAKE NAME FOR YOU! YOU! ARE! ASININE!)** As soon as I go for a house where there is supposed to be the 4 of them there was only one. I decided to pick it as my house and waited for Tom Nook **(copyrighted)** outside. But Nobody was there... I walked in and out a few times and there he finally was. Thinking this was a graphical glitch I continued on.

Tom Nook went on as normal and after playing for a few hours after working for Tom Nook and paying my house off a few times till I get the basement this is when things became really odd. **(My pain is only going to get worse from here? Whyyyyyyyyy...)** I went into the basement off my house as soon as it was upgraded because it took me forever to get it. I walked down there and it was terrible... There was blood everywhere and a table in the center.. It had straps and a few weapons near it.. **(Unfortunate implications with the tables and the straps, much?)** I was slightly scared because Animal Crossing is a Kids game and not like this.. I did the stupid thing and walked towards the table. **(It's OK. With a writer like you, doing this is perfectly normal.)** Suddenly the lights went out and I heard a slight scream. The lights came on and it was Tom Nook standing by the table with my character on it. **(Tom: "Your Great Gatsby rental is a month late, bitch!")**

Tom Nook said "Finally I get my revenge, The same thing happens all the time. Somebody moves here and takes advantage of the house sale business" My character stood silent for a few seconds and said "Wh-what? **(No!)**". Tom Nook had replied saying "It's time I take **(Ball Of)** revenge and kill the Human who moved here, I hate you humans this place was sacred. You come here **(Wario Land:)** shake **(It!)** our trees and cut them down, We no longer have any fruit because of you!" **(#corruptcountry #importedfruit)** After he said that he moved towards my character and the lights went out. When they turned on my character had stab holes and a decapitated head in that horrid scene. After the lights went out again but it didnt.. **(Wait. Did the lights go out or not?)** Tom Nook looked at me... He stared at me with those blood shot eyes and bloody pants... He said... "Your Next**(**, if you move here**)**". Suddenly my power went out and went back on... And I went to bed that night... I could not sleep very well that night but I managed **(a Mcdonald's)**.. As soon as I woke up.. I was on that same train my character had been on.. People who play the game... Get Lured In... Get played by someone else forcefully.. than tom nook kills you.. It's a never ending **(story)** trick...

Tom Nook stood there before me on the train. He said "I told you, I would kill**(la kill)** you next" The Lights went out and you could hear a Blood Curdling scream for miles **("Tails" Prower)**. This was Tom Nook and his Revenge to players who keep abusing him and what he does for people. **(He's a video. game. character.)** Be warned... Be Careful... **(Of course we will, Nutcase! Of course we will! Sigh, now onto something that's thankfully shorter than this. I don't know which one is worse though...)**

let me just state if yu thought justin biepher was cool **(I don't think that anyone describes Justin Bieber as being cool.)** you ARE GAY **(Is this what Kirby read when he was confused on his sexuality?)** he is evil and here is why

## da fangirls a.k.a. the WRONG people **(You do know that society has differing opinions on everything, right?)**

AH MY GOD JUSTIN BIEPHER IS SO FUCKING HOTA**(DRINK WATA)**HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10 HOURS LATER

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**(HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)**HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**(RUN FASTA)**HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

## the correct person me

justin biepher is an alien who likes to eat the minds of girls (AND OCASIONALYY HOMOSEXUAL BOYS) **(If you question anything in this, you won't make it to the last sentence.)** BUT HE DOESNT KNOW ONE THInG i know his mother fucking secret **(I've grown a bit old to be fucking mothers. I don't even wanna use that secret.)** he uses music to take oover there brains and to form his "human" form which is actually female **(Justin Bieber is a guy. Why would you think that Justin Bieber isn't a guy- fuck it, I'm done.)**

**(So that was The True Horrors Of Animal Crossing and The justin biephr theorie. Damn, these stories were so idiotic, that the words "justin, biephr, and theorie" all got a red proofread line under them. And I just copied the title off the actual pasta! The True Horrors Of Animal Crossing was just as bad and forgettable as you would expect from the trillionth video game creepypasta to be made. For that, I'll give The justin biephr theorie credit for not being cliche, but... do you realize... what was just explained in that theory? Justin Bieber.......is a female alien who creates music to eat human brains...............OK then. Well, that's enough mindfuck for a while! I'm the Creepypasta Critic, and if you'll excuse me, I need to get to therapy ASAP.)**