2021 Power Rankings-Week 9

## Introduction

We're in November and the playoff chase is officially on, with contending teams vulturing the have-nots with weeks to go before the trade deadline. Next year's draft is already looking like a shit show, and there's still plenty of time left for more moves. With players getting injured, getting COVID, and just straight up getting sick of football (Ridley), who knows how this whole thing is going to end?

Now all season long I've been mentioning the "bonus week" that we all have. It's like how you win a $50 scratch ticket and then for the next month everything you buy you just go "eh this is my scratch ticket winnings so it's fine." You end up spending $500 but it feels like nothing because you just keep using the excuse of the bonus money you have. It's the same with week 14. After every loss a little part of you goes "well there's an extra week so this is fine." For Paddock 9, his bonus money has been used for seven losses at this point. He's overspent his scratch ticket winnings. But it's fine. The excuse is still there.

Well, for this specific week all your excuses are valid. Because this is *actually* the bonus week. Week nine's matchups are the extra games that I shoved in once the 14-week schedule was confirmed. I had already made the schedule and needed to find somewhere that extra games could fit without anyone facing the same team three times or facing anyone in back-to-back weeks. It wasn't easy, but luckily I'm a genius.

So please, sit back and relax this week. This is the bonus game. It barely even counts, right?

## Matchup Recap

* Duck Punchers kicks The Shotti Bunch while he's down, regaining first place in the process (8-10). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Pain Train continues to heat up in taking down top-scoring ma ma momma said (9-7). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* The Multiverse of Mattness continues to defy expectations with an upset over reeling RIPDab (13-7). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* The Stupid Idiots gains strength as it takes care of business vs. Papa's Posse (3-5). **Next Matchup: N/A**
* Sweet Dee takes down Paddock 9 in a battle of the two previous league champions that left plenty to be desired (6-8). **Next Matchup: Week 14**

## Stat Chat

* RIPDab becomes the 5th team to reach 80 combined losses.
* Paddock 9's 45th roster move puts him in a tie for 7th most single season roster moves all-time (RIPDab 2016).
* Duck punchers notches his 10th season with six or more wins, a league record.
* Duck Punchers breaks the record for most weeks spent in 1st place (29).
* Duck Punchers breaks his franchise record for most consecutive weeks scoring over 200 (8).
* Stupid Idiots ties his franchise record for most consecutive weeks scoring over 200 (6)
* Ma ma momma said's streak of consecutive weeks over 200 ends at 10, one shy of tying his franchise record.
* After combining for 568.52 in their last matchup, RIPDab and Mattness combine for just 337.62 in week eight.
* Through eight weeks, eight different teams have been at the wrong end of a blowout of the week. The only two teams to not be blown out are RIPDab and Pain Train.

## The Worst of The Best

Garoppoblow Me is 5-3, tied for 2nd place. They are on their longest win streak since 2018. They've beaten five different teams, including the other two teams they are tied with at 5-3. Looking strictly at the standings and the wins, GBM is having a good season. But the scoring tells a different story. At 1558.80, GBM is the second-lowest scoring team in the league, ahead of only the tanking Paddock 9. And while anyone who has faced GBM knows that his start/sit decisions have left upwards of 100 points a week on the bench, it's obvious this team has struggled in scoring points. The good news? They're winning. The bad news? Usually teams like this stumble back down to earth by season's end.

So how lucky has GBM been? Here are the week eight standings for every second-lowest scoring team in LOC history.

### Record of Second-Lowest Scoring Team Through 8 Weeks

It's worth noting that Sweet Dee was 5-3 last season with the lowest point total through 8 weeks. They finished 8-5.

In addition to being one of the worst teams with one of the best records, Mattness has had an epic struggle with QB. In a season where QBs can drop up to 70 points like it's nothing, you'd expect everyone to be able to start a guy who can provide at least 30 points every week. It should be as much of a no-brainer as the kicker spot, yet every week has been an adventure. With news that Tua is out in week 8, Commish will be starting his league-leading 4th unique quarterback in week nine.

Here are everyone's passing stats through eight weeks (adjusted to remove WR/TE/RBs who have completed passes):

### Starting QB Stats Through Eight Weeks

This chart only includes regular season point totals and does not take into account any points scored in the post-season.

Multiverse is one of two teams under 2000 passing yards and under 160 completions.

## Survivor

Insane week of Survivor as many people ate it in taking the Bengals vs. the Jets. It was enough to eliminate Shotti, leaving everyone but Mattness with a single strike heading into week nine. It's getting real!

## Trades By Season

With two more trades happening since the last writeup, let's run this one back.

We did it y'all. Most trades ever!

## Trade Tracker

Starts (Mattness):

* CEH: 2
* Mooney: 3

Starts (Paddock 9)

* Sermon: 1
* Woods: 4

I don't even know how to track this anymore. Three of the four players are on Commish's team and the fourth is a free agent. This one is going to have to die.

Starts (Paddock 9):

* Gordon: 3
* Fuller: 1

Starts (RIPDab)

* Aiyuk: 3
* Ruggs: 0

I did not think this trade could get any stupider. But then Ruggs went and literally killed a person. So yeah this is maybe the worst trade ever. Also, why is Pat not starting any of his good players? Weird shit.

Starts (Paddock 9):

* Kirk: 1
* Reagor: 0

Starts (RIPDab)

* Hopkins: 4
* Williams: 1

There ya go Pat! Way to get a start out of it.

Starts (ma ma momma said):

* Dallas Goedert: 2

Starts (Multiverse of Mattness):

* J.D. McKissic: 2

Commish benching McKissic nearly cost them the win.

Starts (ma ma momma said):

* Allen Robinson: 3

Starts (Papa's Posse):

* Mike Davis: 2

Feel the magic.

## Power Rankings - Week Nine

### 1(2). Duck Punchers

It sure seems like Duck Punchers is positioned well to make a run for the Commissioner's Cup and a bye for the playoffs, if for no other reason than that the teams he is competing with cannot seem to catch a break with injuries. That's not to say Duck hasn't had their share of setbacks. Barkley is still not playing, AJ Green has COVID, and Tyler Lockett is on the bye this week. I guess it's the perfect week to be facing Sweet Dee.

### 2(1). Ma ma momma said

Last week I fired off a #MattJinx when I said that momma's success was tied directly into the endurance of Derrick Henry. Well, Henry is out for the season. It's time to be tested if you're Momma. Do they have enough meat on this roster's bone in order to overcome the biggest loss of the season by any team thus far?

### 3(4). The Stupid Idiots

Stupid Idiots has the best week of anyone. First they pull off a close victory over Papa's Posse, a game they could have just as easily lost. Then, they bolster their lineup by bringing in first round talent Tyreek Hill basically for pennies. Despite the blowback that his trade with Sweet Dee got, which at this point is par for the course with anything Butt Buttington does in fantasy, it's not collusion and therefore allowable under the collective bargaining agreement.

### 4(5). Pain Train

If Pain Train is selling how come none of us have been getting trade offers for players in exchange for draft picks? In fact, last I heard Pain Train was still trying to poach talent as they now ride the league's second-longest active win streak and also have a leg up on an ailing RIPDab in week nine. Makes you think.

### 6(6). The Shotti Bunch

Up and down season for Shotti is quickly becoming just a down season. Shotti has lost Calvin Ridley to mental health issues, plus OBJ just shot his way out of Cleveland, plus Miles Sanders is a bust, plus Gronk and Knox can't get healthy. What an ugly series of events for Shotti. Luckily, they had a really good draft and have some depth in positions of need.

### 7(9). The Multiverse of Mattness

Mattness has won three straight, but no one with eyeballs is considering this team a contender until they see CMC and CEH return to full health and make an impact. This team is basically buying their way to the top, scavenging Paddock 9 until he's nothing but a dry carcass. But none of the upgrades have reflected a huge jump in the scoring column, as they won a game by scoring below 170 last week. So we'll see. There's a lot to be proven still with this squad.

### 8(8). Papa's Posse

The plan all season was to keep Rodgers and Brady together because at the very least Rodgers can be plugged in during Brady's week nine bye. Well, the week nine bye is here and QAron Rodgers is out with COVID. This is just the latest disaster for Papa's Posse, who seems to be once again contemplating retirement with a bum season unfolding before them.

### 9(8). Sweet Dee

Any hope Sweet Dee had at a second-half run is out the window with the trade of Tyreek Hill. It's a disappointing followup to last year's 8-5 campaign. Now the only question will be whether they can move more assets to prepare for 2022.

### 10(10). Paddock 9

I'm at a complete loss as to why Paddock 9 made the decisions he did with his roster last week. He benched Robert Woods, Brandin Cooks, and Melvin Gordon (combined 75.18) and instead started Alex Collins, Kenneth Gainwell, and Jamal Agnew (combined 36.83). I get how easy it is to overthink a lineup, so I'm trying not to judge TOO much here. But also...start your starters, regardless...right?

## Matchup of the Week - 4-4 and Wanting More

Pain Train and RIPDab seem to be on opposite trajectories. RIPDab cannot catch a break, while Pain Train is heating up as we take the turn into the winter weeks. With Murray and Hopkins out, it's time for Dab to show the league that his team is deep enough to overcome adversity. Meanwhile, Pain Train would love nothing more than to bust back through into a playoff spot after weeks in the bottom four. Should be a good one.