Cleanliness is Next to Ozzyness

**Cleanliness is Next to Ozzyness** is the eighth episode of the second series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on the January 28, 2003.

## Summery

Ozzy grows increasingly tired of the dogs and their tendency to defecate in the house. Because Sharon's immune system is very weak due to the chemo, he fears that all of the germs will cause her to develop an infection. He constantly cleans everything and tries to get everyone to wear gloves around Sharon. He also urges Sharon not to let the dogs on the bed, but she ignores him. Ozzy meets with a contractor about plans to build an outdoor kennel for all of the dogs, but Sharon quickly kills this idea.

Jack and Sharon argue when she insists on going out to dinner. He believes she should rest, but she is feeling well and can't stand to be cooped up in the house. Sharon takes Robert shopping for furniture for his new room. She explains that Robert was a good friend to Aimee and Kelly after the Osbournes moved from England, so they have taken him in after his mother's death (from colon cancer). Jack bonds with Robert and shows him how to make one of his favorite treats, beans on toast. Sharon goes to the doctor. At a special dinner that night, she announces that her cancer is in remission and that she will finish her treatment in January.

## Memorable Quotes

"*I've had it with this fucking thing, it's driving me mental!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I'm home, I've returned, I'm home and there's a dog turd.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Everywhere I go there's fucking shit and it's driving me fucking mental. I live in an $8 Million turd!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*I might as well earn money and throw it into the fucking fire.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*One day I'll buy a crocodile to eat all the fucking animals.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*This is the Chinese love bed, it's Chinese and for love making.*"
— Robert

"*I wish someone would invent a dog that wouldn't shit, that'd be great!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*There must be scissors in here, it's an office for God's sake!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*I'm sorry for the humiliation.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*I am not dying or crippled!*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*Y'know what's really mean mum?! You don't fucking listen to us!*"
— Jack Osbourne

"*It just felt so good. I wanted to go out, have fun with the girls and be silly again.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*This is the deal if you want to come to our house then you gotta have flu shots! Line up, butts out!*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*A Guinness a day keeps the doctor away.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*Now fuck off! Guy...Gus, Jim, Bill, whatever the fuck your name is. You'll die if you touch that chicken.*"
— Ozzy Osbourne

"*In my life? I'm not gonna change a fucking thing, cause I like my life.*"
— Sharon Osbourne

"*I don't mind having a glowing dick!*"
— Ozzy after finding out he can't have sex with Sharon of nine months

## Trivia

* The commentary for this episode is the second time Ozzy and Aimee talk.
* Ozzy reveals that Robert was no longer with the Osbournes after airing.
* Sharon reveals in the commentary that the events that took place in the episode happened 18 months before airing, though Aimee claims that it was less time.
* A total of 57 flu shots were given to the Osbourne family members, staff, film crew and other individuals going to the Osbourne household.