S03E01 - D!ck GIF

## D!ck GIF

Season 3, Episode 1 is entitled D!ck GIF and it is the first episode of the first Drarry story covered on the podcast. The story for this season is "The Critiquer" by dysonrules.

NOTE: The story link above contains a VERY NSFW gif image. You have been warned!

Allie's mom makes a cameo at the end of the episode and her and Allie have a brainstorming session to name various products within the wizarding world.

## Episode Summary

Draco is disenchanted with the quality of dick pics that his cock critiquing publication is receiving, so he decides, on Pansy's suggestion, to do something about it and open a Wizarding Photography class.

Meanwhile, Seamus, Dean and Harry decide to try their hand (or cocks) at getting critiqued and Harry has the most low-key coming out to his friends moment.

## Notable Moments

* Singing intro
* "Lyndsay, have you checked your Amazon account? Because it looks like a new SHIPment has come in" ~ Danny
* "Danny, have you heard about my team? We made it to the championSHIP!" ~ Lyndsay
* "I'm so happy to say I'm not involved in any of this right now!" ~ Allie
* Danny is curious about the employment prospects post Hogwarts education.
* The Great Sp(l)ooge debate of 2017 begins. Allie insists it is "spooge" and Lyndsay and Danny insist it is "splooge".
	+ "I don't know what happened in Detroit" ~ Danny
* It's quite a production when they try to say something in sync.
* Fancy Pansy: "Draco, DAHling!"
* "How good can a dick pic be?" ~ Allie
* "Draco is the Ansel Adams of dick pics" ~ Allie
* "Choosy Dracos choose dick GIFs" (play on the Jif tag line)
* "Would you guys scroll through and look at penises and their reviews? For sure! Especially if they're written by Draco Malfoy. Take all my money." ~ Danny
* Lyndsay and Danny lose it at Allie's "Once you go black, you need a wheelchair" White Chicks reference.
	+ "That is the best Allie thing ever, 'You know, as they say...' and then says something that NO ONE says." ~ Lyndsay
* Allie loves a "slow Harry" joke
* P(een)SA: "I say you keep your tiny white cocks in your pants where they belong and stop tormenting the world with them."
* Out of the cupboard, and out of the closet.
* Plughorn (and later Slughorn) cameo
* Harry: "Hey Hedwig! Come over here!" Hedwig: "noooo, you guys do NOT want to do this!" Harry, slurring: "I say what goes out."
* "Dick pics are a slippery, slippery slope." ~ Danny
* Danny became Pansy
* EX HEX!
* Danny proposing Snapchat introduces dick filters so you can put a little top hat on your cock.
* Cockstructive criticism
* Lyndsay makes a comment that she hopes Mindy is a total freak even though she's painted as kind of drab.
* Lyndsay wants to know where Ron and Neville at. Why aren't they hanging out? She hopes Neville's is the wonderful cock pic.
	+ "We all just got silent thinking about Neville's dick, so there's that." ~ Lyndsay

## Allie and Her Mom

* Appearing on the podcast is fulfilling a big dream for Allie's mom.
* Their family's competitive spirit (they once won a contest where their name got selected for a new crayon colour, "Mauvelous". The name was also voted by one blog as the worst crayon name ever)
* Previously her mom got involved during Season 1 in naming Magical Beauty Salons.
* Category 1: Sex and lingerie shops
	+ Dirty Dungeon, Lover's Dungeon, I Put a Spell on You, The Witchress, Luna's Lane, Frederick's of Hogwarts, McGonagall's Secret
* Category 2: Sex Toys
	+ Wonder Wand, Magical Mammory Motorboat, Crotchless Dressrobes, Swish and Lick Sex Syrups (including chocolate frog flavour), Strap-o Enchanto, Black Cat-o-Nine-Tails (Allie did not know that reference and had to Google it. This activity is forcing Allie to learn interesting things about her mother), Hungarian Hornytail Butt Plug, Marvolo Gaunt Cock Ring, Slippery Slytherin Lube (in 6 oz or 12 oz)
* Category 3: Sex Spells
	+ The Lubeus Labius, Deepius Throatius, Protego Buttholeus, Extendo Genitalo, Engorgus Wangus, Alohomora chastity belt, Boobius Maximus, Levi-o-o-o-sa

## Wands Up or Down

Allie: Up

* Love Draco and the Pansy voice.
* That guys take dick pics together when they drink.

Danny: Up

* New world, but same characters we know and love.

Lyndsay: Up

* Hilarious premise and everyone's accepting of everyone's sexuality