The Second Crime Scene

"The Second Crime Scene" is the eighth track of Kevin & Abi and the Secret of the Golden Pendant

## Performers

Oliver Marsh as "Kevin" and "Ernie Marsh"

Kiera-Marie Somers as "Abi"

Lauren Osborn as "Sogandra Osborn"

Hayley Warner as "Terna Warner"

Kerttu Aarnipuu as "Ryvyr D Goblin"

## Lyrics

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Wow, this looks like it was one hell of a party!

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

The Voodoopunks were famous for their parties.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Yeah, but look at these people, most of them are so drugged up I don't think there's a coherent brain cell among them!

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

The best parties are not known for their temperance.

[KEVIN] *(spoken)*

Well, they're all partying in heaven now. Or will be, it says on that banner there that they're leaving in a week.

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

I don't know, my mom always laughed at the idea that they made it to Elysium.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Well where'd they go then?

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

Will go, they're all still right here at the moment.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Oh lord, Time shenanigans...

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

Waka waka waka!

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

No! there is no way you can possibly!-

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

I'm teasing you, No, I'm thinking about making it an actual phrase. Like, I gotta hex for your necks! Pecks? Rex? Tex? It's a tough rhyme...

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

We should get on with it, Listen up everyone! licensed detectives here.

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

Soon to be licensed in like, 20 years.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Hush, we're going to need to conduct some interviews. Can someone please tell me what happened here?

[VOODOPUNK PARTY CHORUS:]

There's a murder at the party,

there's a couple of dead bodies

And they're both just laying there upon the floor

It's a drag and it's a cancer,

and it's bummin' out the dancers

And we've got to get the groove back here once more

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Wow, you three again.

[TERNA] *(spoken)*

I'm sorry, have we met?

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

Kev, look closely, she looks a lot like Temna but not quite. I think she's a relative.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Uh, what's your name?

[TERNA:] *(spoken)*

Terna.

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

Based on the timeline this would be Temna's mother.

[TERNA:] *(spoken)*

I'm sorry, how do you know my little girl?

[SOGANDRA:] *(spoken)*

I hope your girl doesn't grow up to have shaggy nipples like her mother!

[TERNA:] *(spoken)*

How's that chlamydia coming along? Given it to half the party now I hear.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Can you please just tell me what happened here?

[TERNA:]

We've all come here to celebrate the Voodoopunks for

In a week they're gonna step right through Elysium's door

My family is helping out to throw this little bash

'Cause lord knows we have the money and we're generous like that

We even let Sogandra in-

[SOGANDRA:]

The Balley's open to all!

[TERNA:]

Well there's that but with her here of course it all has gone to hell

My mother came to Albion with nothing but you see

I've amassed a solid fortune

[SOGANDRA:]

Because you stole it all from me!

[TERNA:]

A couple here is dead, they've been poisoned we are sure

And they've left behind a son who won't have parents any more

Sogandra has a boyfriend who I'm sure was serving drinks

I had ordered one from him but they died before I drank

I wouldn't put it past Sogandra to do something foul

She's jealous that I've gone and made something of myself

This father and this mother have both died from poisoned drinks

The last one who had touched them was her boyfriend, yes I think

[VOODOPUNK PARTY CHORUS:]

There's a murder at the party,

there's a couple of dead bodies

And they're both just laying there upon the floor

It's a drag and it's a cancer,

and it's bummin' out the dancers

And we've got to get the groove back here once more

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

So two victims this time. Did they drink from the same glass or have separate glasses?

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

They each have a glass laying by them.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

So possibly different glasses. interesting...

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

At least it appears that way.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

And the last one to handle them was... oh god this guy again...

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

Kev, It's his dad.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Right, right, Ok um, you are...

[ERNIE:] *(spoken)*

Ernie!

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Ok Ernie, tell me what happened.

[ERNIE:]

My name is Ernie Marsh, I sell washing machines

They're the best in all the city if you want your clothes clean

But sales it can be tough so to make some extra cash

I agreed to serve drinks at this bash the Balley had

Sogandra gave a champagne glass to give to Terna but

I had others drinks upon my tray and was busy serving one

When the husband grabbed one of them, maybe two I don't know

I didn't think to keep track it's a busy night don't you know

Sogandra there and Terna hate each other, it goes back

To some fight their mothers had years ago while in the past

But if you need the very best in new laundry technology

I've got deals so please don't hesitate to come round and see me

[VOODOPUNK PARTY CHORUS:]

There's a murder at the party,

there's a couple of dead bodies

And they're both just laying there upon the floor

It's a drag and it's a cancer,

and it's bummin' out the dancers

And we've got to get the groove back here once more

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Thank you Ernie.

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

What does this have to do with the pendant?

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

It has everything to do with the pendant, Sogandra, is it?

[SOGANDRA:] *(spoken)*

That's Lady Sogandra to you.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Of course it is. Did you give a glass of champagne to Ernie here to give to Terna? Why don't you tell us what happened?

[SOGANDRA:]

Yes, I gave a glass, I figured that I would be nice

But these accusations make me think I'm being framed but why

Terna's mom was jealous of my mother who got rich

Then moved here to New Albion where I've always lived

And Terna, when she moved here was as poor as poor can be

But then suddenly her fortune turned, because she stole from me

Something that I'd rather not go into here and now

But now she’s nouveau rich and so tacky that cow

That poor boy who is orphaned has godparents I believe

They're much richer than his Voodoopunk mom and dad so see

He'll be better off, but I assure whatever it might seem

I am innocent, It's Ernie who's suspicious don't you think?

[TERNA:] *(spoken)*

So you're just going to set up your own boyfriend?

[SOGANDRA:] *(spoken)*

Friends with benefits, he's too poor to be my boyfriend.

[ERNIE:] *(spoken)*

*\*gasp\** But you said-

[SOGANDRA:] *(spoken)*

Not now dear.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Ok girls, let's talk about the Pendant of Kultainen.

[TERNA:] *(spoken)*

What?!

[SOGANDRA:] *(spoken)*

How do you know about that?

[TERNA:] *(spoken)*

You can't have it!

[RYVYR:] *(spoken)*

No you can't have it!

[SOGANDRA:] *(spoken)*

So you do have it! You stole it from me!

[TERNA] *(spoken)*

Your snake of a mother was such a good for nothing hoe that she had nothing better to do then betray her own friends!

[SOGANDRA:] *(spoken)*

Your whore of a mother couldn't stand that my mother did better than her worthless ass ever could!

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Wait! What the hell?!

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

They started the music back up!

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

It's a freaking crime scene!

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

Kev, over here.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

How do we find these three again on the dance floor?!

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

I think we don't, I say we follow the new time door that just appeared.

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

Another time door?

[ABI:] *(spoken)*

Yeah, look, this obviously isn't where it began!

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

No, it seems to have began with their parents. You think that's where the time door leads?

[RYVYR:] *(spoken)*

You’re gonna go nuts when you taste this tea, but we have to get the pendant back in order for me to..

[KEVIN:] *(spoken)*

We’re working on it. Ok, fine, lead us to the time door. Let's get to the bottom of this.