Speedy Company

## Starring

* Ernie
* Farina
* Jack
* Jackie
* Joe
* Mickey

## Story

The gang sneaks into a fancy hotel which has a jungle room called the Cocoanut Grove. They exchange all their clothes for costume grass skirts found in a closet, and horse around in the jungle room, causing lots of damage and getting queasy from smoking a peace pipe.

All of the boys are ejected from the hotel wearing just the grass skirts they donned in the Cocoanut Grove. They get arrested for trespassing and vandalism, and in view of previous destructive acts, Ernie, Mickey, Jack, Joe, Jackie and Farina are given three-month sentences of being only allowed to wear the grass skirts. To be sure the sentences were equal the skirts were all cut off above the knees to avoid accidents by being stepped on and attached around the hips so that the navel was clearly showing.

The boys were humiliated as they endured relentless teasing at school, church, parks, and any shops they had to visit. Jack was locked up a week in a juvenile detention facility for punching one of those laughing at him. The gang tried to stick together a lot, their self-consciousness vanishing when all around were in the same boat, so their parents countered by sending them on lots of individual errands into town. Having no pockets was a problem, but Jackie and Farina solved it by sticking change in their hair. Understanding less than the others because he was youngest, Farina was affected the least until some other boys his age taunted him into sliding down a hot metal slide headfirst on his stomach. As the weeks passed the gang did get used to it, though, as they learned to ignore the taunts and present a veneer of toughness.

They also had to take lessons in making and repairing grass skirts, and some girls in that class were always giggling at them. The extra skirts were placed in strategic locations by ponds and streams in case something happened to the clothes of people swimming there. For some strange reason, that happened a lot in that town.

There were limited exceptions. If a grass skirt was being washed and dried and there was no spare, if they had to be outside they could put on a barrel with shoulder straps. Also, when it was decided to put on a benefit show, for the sake of realism Ernie and Farina were told they should wear loincloths for the week of rehearsing and the performance. Jackie said that went against the sentence that they were all supposed to be treated equally. The authorities agreed, so each was given the option to wear only loincloths that week, with different patterns for different roles in the play, which raised much more money than expected.

Soon after the sentence was issued Mango was born. Her parents decided that she should get the child’s bedroom, and Ernie and Farina would sleep in the barn by Dinah the Mule. The family didn’t have an extra bed, so the brothers slept in piles of hay. Ordinarily that might be considered demeaning, but the boys soon learned they got a good deal because they weren’t constantly being woken up by Mango’s crying like their parents were. Another observation was that it was hard to tell the difference between sleeping in a grass skirt and sleeping in the raw when in a large hay pile.

The parents noticed some benefits. There was less time needed for laundry, and noticeable savings in clothing costs. Also, grass skirts provide next to no protection in the event of spankings, but that didn’t happen much at all. Sending one on useless errands into town by himself seemed a much better alternative on most occasions.

## Notes

* Spoof of: Fast Company
* Previous Film: Sunday Serenity
* Next Film: Upstaged