Minor Characters

The Hotdog Archives has a variety of minor characters who are so FEEBLE and INSIGNIFICANT that they can't quite have their own individual pages. Below are all of them.

## Alien

> *"I am an alien. Beep boop." - Alien*
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**The Alien** is a little puppet featured in ***Hank's Hotdogs Commercial Reel***. They claim to have come from another dimension in search of hotdogs, and asks the viewer to take them to Hank's Hotdogs so that they may enjoy a wide variety of different "hotdog-themed foods." At the end of the ad, they bid us a farewell "Beep boop," after reminding us that, they are indeed, an alien.

## Bandito

> *"Soon, I will be able to resell these hotdogs at MY restaurant!" - Bandito*
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**Bandito** is a hotdog-stealing raccoon that was said to have appeared in the Hank's Hotdogs cartoon. In ***Hank's Hotdogs Commercial Reel***, he appears in the advert "Bandito" doing exactly that, with the intent to resell the hotdogs at his own unnamed restaurant. As Hank Hotdog retorts, he quickly pulls out his revolver and shoots Hank square in the chest, much to his team's shock. They quickly get over this, however, and turn their attention to beating up Bandito.

## Bodacious Frankmaster

> *"How's it hangin', hotdog foodies?" - Bodacious Frankmaster*
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**Bodacious Frankmaster** is a rad human DJ that was said to have appeared in the Hank's Hotdogs cartoon. In ***Hank's Hotdogs Commercial Reel***, it is stated that he was such a popular character in the show, that he was given his own commercial leading up to the reopening of the Hank's Hotdogs restaurant. In the advert "Bodacious Frankmaster," he is seen hyping up the restaurant's new selection of arcade machines, but quickly becomes confused and irritable upon the realization that there are nothing but PONG cabinets - "and some other chump game" - in the restaurant. He quickly readjusts his attitude, before closing out the commercial in his usual demeanor.

## Cecil's Assistants

> *"Uh, sir? Who exactly is going to review that evidence?" - Assistant #1*
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**Cecil's Assistants** are two unnamed people heard at the end of Cecil's presentation in ***The Hotdog Archives II***, one male (**Assistant #1**), and one female (**Assistant #2**). Not much is known about these assistants, other than they assisted Cecil in recording his company presentation, with Assistant #1 question Cecil's speech, and Assistant #2 directly calling to the still-on camera.

## Clyde McClain

> *"WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, WHARTON!" - Clyde McClain*
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**Police Sergeant Clyde McClain** is a JPD officer first heard in ***The Hotdog Archives II***. He is heard pounding on a door and ordering Mason Wharton to come out of hiding. Mason is, somehow, able to trick McClain into giving him five more minutes before the police force their way inside, by claiming he has to go to the bathroom. Mason then takes this opportunity to shoot himself.

McClain comes across as gruff, loud, with a drill sergeant attitude, but doesn't appear to be very bright. His name is only revealed via the newspaper articles that fade across the screen during this segment.

## Food Warriors

> *"Food warriors roam the desert wasteland..." - Food Warriors Narrator*
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**The Food Warriors** are a trio of anthropomorphic fruits, being a banana, orange, and cucumber named **Blaster Banana**, **Organshredder Orange**, and **Crusher Cucumber**, respectively. They appear in ***Hank's Hotdogs Commercial Reel***, in the advert "Food Warriors," where they are first seen in their dune buggy, with Organshredder Orange driving while Crusher Cucumber fires a blaster off the side of the vehicle. The next time they are seen, they are huddled around a plate with a single bean on it during a desert night, all visibly upset at the lack of food. Thankfully, Hank Hotdog is there to rescue them and bring them to Hank's Hotdogs, so they may sate their hunger.

## Jeremy

> *"Come the... Aah, come the ████ down to Hank's Hotdog!" - Jeremy*
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**Jeremy** is a character that is heard in ***Hank's Hotdogs Commercial Reel*** during the "Are You Hungry?" advertisement. He is heard unenergetically - and later rudely - encouraging the viewer to come to Hank's Hotdogs. The reason for his behavior is both heard in his dialogue throughout the commercial, and seen on one of the slides (pictured to the right). Clearly, Jeremy has recently been through a divorce, and one that he is taking very hard. This is what compels him to act the way he does, eventually cussing out the viewer at the end of the ad.

## Jerry

> *"I should know, I'm a great judge of character!" - Jerry*
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**Jerry** is a night watchman that is heard in ***The Hotdog Archives II***. He appears in a cutaway scene in which he is patrolling the Hank's Hotdogs restaurant, in which he is eventually attacked by Hank Hotdog himself. Jerry is seen to be not very bright, and very trusting in his boss, Cecil Darnell's, assurances that the restaurant is not haunted. He seems to have a disregard for his own safety, as he brushes off threats made by Hank when he is mere inches away, instead opting to focus on the life of his flashlight. In a hidden message that appears shortly after Hank attacks him, it is implied that Jerry survived his encounter, as he is yelled at by Cecil Darnell for not watching the training tape and provoking Hank.

## Lonnie

> *"Well, I was over at Lonnie's for her family's annual cookout..." - Joel Lorenzo*
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**Lonnie** is an individual mentioned by Joel Lorenzo in ***The Hotdog Archives***. Apparently while attending her family's annual cookout, Joel got the idea to go down to Hank's Hotdogs with his friend Raymond Diggle and investigate the rumors of paranormal activity.

## Narrator

> *"Here at Hank's Hotdogs, we are committed to family fun and safety!" - Narrator*
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**The Narrator** is a character who first appeared in ***The Hotdog Archives***. He is presumably an employee of Hank's, and is the one who presents to us the Technical Support training tape in the first half of the episode. As he tries to explain the job's duties, he finds himself repeatedly interrupted by a certain spirit. He grows increasingly nervous as the interruptions become more and more intense, desperately trying to assure the viewer that even though the restaurant is haunted, this poses no threat to them. After the interruptions cease, the Narrator cautiously returns to answering questions, right as the spirit interrupts him for the sixth time. The Narrator tosses his script aside in defeat, shouting "Oh, forget it!" as the tape ends.

## Rhonda

> *"RHONDA THOUGHT I COULDN'T FIND IT AND WENT LOOKIN' FOR 'EM, BUT I FOUND IT!" - Ryan Johnston*
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**Rhonda** is a member of the JPD that is mentioned in ***The Hotdog Archives II***. She is said to have tried helping Ryan Johnston in his search for Joel and Raymond's camcorder footage, but according to Johnston, he found it on his own without her assistance.