Band Geeks (Bubbles8218 Version)

Happy Valentine's Day, my friends!

Parody of the Season 2 "Spongebob Squarepants" episode "Band Geeks."

Band Geeks (Bubbles8218 Version)

*(We open on a beautiful day in Toon Town, and in the Kongo Bongo Island jungle section, an organ sound is heard, which turns out to be Cranky Kong playing on his organ in his cabin until his doorbell rings. He stopped upon hearing it, gets up in confusion, answers the door, and Dr. Julius Hibbert is at the door with a paramedic)*

Hibbert: Yeah, uh, we're with the pet hospital down the street and I understand that you have a dying animal on the premises.

*(He chuckles a bit, but then stopped when he saw Cranky give an annoyed look)*

Hibbert: Sorry. But seriously, would you be interested in donating for the children's hospital?

*(Contemplating, Cranky nods)*

Cranky: Okay.

*(He gives a $20 bill to Hibbert and the paramedic and while Hibbert and the paramedic left, Cranky closed the door while smiling a bit)*

Cranky: Another charity run as usual.

*(His phone rings suddenly, much to his chagrin)*

Cranky: (Annoyed) Now what?

*(He answers his phone)*

Cranky: (Flatly) Hello. You've reached the house of old timer's talent. Please start after the....

*(He plays a note on a clarinet he picks up. Then, to his shock, Baron Alberto (From "Pokemon: The Rise of Darkrai") is on the phone)*

Alberto: Sounds like you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh, old chum?

Cranky: (Gasps) Baron Alberto from our old band class?!

Alberto: I hear you're playing with chemistry sets now.

Cranky: (Groans a bit) Sometimes. Anyway, uh, how's the pompadour?

Albert: (Strokes his pompadour suavely for a bit) It's big and valuable, as usual. Anyway, I'm the leader of a big fancy band now, and we're supposed to play the Bubble Bowl next week.

*(Hearing Alberto say that, Cranky got shocked)*

Cranky: (Stuttering in shock) The ba-ba-ba...?! The ba-ba-ba...?! The ba-ba-ba...?!

Alberto: That's right. I'm living your dream, Cranky. The problem is, I'm busy next week and can't make it. So, I was hoping you and your band could cover for us.

Cranky: (Hesitantly, trying to speak) Oh, uh, I.... I, uh....

Alberto: (Sneeringly) I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the chemist industry now, thank you very much.

*(Insulted by Albert's sneering comment, Cranky lost his cool and shouts into his phone)*

Cranky: Hold it! It just so happens that I may *do* a lot of chemistry, but I *do* have a band, and we're gonna play that Bubble Bowl! How do you like *that*, Fancy Baron Boy?!

*(Falling for Cranky's lie nonchalantly, Alberto gave a light smirk)*

Alberto: (Sneeringly) Well, good luck next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings lots of.... *(Mockingly sick)* Ibuprofen!

*(Alberto chuckles snarkily a bit, and then he and Cranky hang up, with Cranky becoming concerned and desperate, realizing what he just got himself into)*

Cranky: I gotta drum up a marching band fast!

*(Then he realized he made himself a funny sheepishly)*

Cranky: (Chuckles sheepishly a bit) Drum.... A little band humor I just made.

*(Later that same day, Applejack is walking down a sidewalk carrying her basket of farmed apples when she noticed a poster with a note written on it taped to a power pole. She then proceeds to read it)*

Applejack: (Reading) Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?

*(Then we cut to Pitch Black reading a different, yet similar, poster while feeding Onyx and his other NightMares in his lair)*

Pitch: (Reading) Then become part of the greatest musical sensation to ever hit Toon Town.

*(On another street in Toon Town, Ms. Edna Krabappel is also reading the different identical poster taped to a window of a bakery)*

Ms. Krabappel: (Reading) And be forever adored by thousands of people you don't know.

*(In his home, Homer Simpson is also reading another different identical poster while going to the bathroom, seated on his toilet, yet we only see his upper body in that shot)*

Homer: (Reading) Not to mention *(Reading excitedly suddenly)* free refreshments?! *(Happily)* Whoo-hoo!

*(In the men's shower room, Soarin is reading yet another different identical poster to his Stallion Eight comrades, who listened in interest, and they, too, only have their upper bodies in that shot)*

Soarin: (Reading) Practice begins tonight. 8:30 sharp.

*(The Stallion Eight got interested)*

Caramel and Party Favor: Tubular!

*(Later at night, Cranky is driving his truck with all the instruments and as he drove up to a local gym, he looks at his watch, which reads 8:35, and got annoyed)*

Cranky: That knuckleheaded music rental clerk made me late. That whippersnapper didn't know an oboe from an elbow.

*(He realized he pulled off another funny involving band music as he pulled into a parking spot at the gym's parking lot)*

Cranky: (Sheepishly) Elbow, heh, more band humor.

*(Then he goes inside, bringing in the instruments, and everyone in Toon Town is there, seated and talking amongst each other until Cranky, after placing the instruments besides everyone, walked up to the stand and got their attention)*

Cranky: People, people, settle down!

*(Everyone quieted down. Then Cranky proceeded to ask away)*

Cranky: Okay, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?

Negaduck: Do instruments of torture count?

*(Somewhat aghast at what Negaduck asked, Cranky answered flatly)*

Cranky: (Flatly) No. Those are for electronics only.

*(Ed raised his hand)*

Cranky: (Responding to Ed's raised hand) Yes, what is it, Ed?

Ed: (Lowers his hand) Are mayonnaise and buttered toast instruments?

Cranky: (Flatly) No, Ed, mayonnaise and buttered toast are not instruments.

*(Ed raises his hand again, but Cranky figured out what Ed was gonna ask next, so he immediately answered flatly)*

Cranky: (Flatly answering immediately) Horseradish and gravy are not instruments, either.

*(Ed lowers his hand, giving a goofy grin)*

Ed: You're good.

Cranky: (Shrugs it off) Yes, that's fine.

*(Then he resumed business)*

Cranky: Anywho, no one has any experience here, well, some of you, that is. Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you.

*(Cranky laughs a bit. Everyone stays silent)*

Homer: When do we get the free food?

Cranky: (To Homer) After band class. *(To everyone else, resuming business again)* Okay, try to repeat after me.

*(Then he plays six notes on his clarinet)*

Cranky: (To Mr. Hewey Largo and Lisa Simpson's eighth grade band class) Brass section, go.

*(Mr. Largo and Lisa's brass group repeated greatly)*

Cranky: (To Mr. Largo and Lisa's brass group) Good. *(To the Gangreen Gang)* Now the wind.

*(The Gangreen Gang's wind group repeated greatly as well)*

Cranky: (To the Gangreen Gang) Very good! *(To Homer, Barney Gumble, Moe Szyzlak, Lenny Leonard, Carl Carlson, Ralph Wiggum, and Chief Clancy Wiggum)* And the drums.

*(But Homer's drummer group misunderstood that and blew on their drumsticks which blow out and stick Cranky to the wall like darts by his shirt]*

Cranky: Good thing that didn't kill me.

*(Later, Cranky continues the band class after having freed himself from both the drumsticks and wall)*

Cranky: Now, let's just try stepping in rhythm, and to do so, I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.

*(Donkey Kong raised his hand)*

DK: Is this the part where we start kicking now?

Cranky: (Exasperated) No, DK, that's a chorus line.

*(Charmy Bee got up excitedly)*

Charmy: Kicking?! I wanna do some kicking right now!

*(Charmy then proceeds to kick in thin air to the rhythm of his scatting when suddenly, he accidentally kicks Starscream in his leg, much to Charmy’s shock and then nervousness)*

Starscream: (To himself) Ow! *(To Charmy, angrily through gritted teeth)* Why, you little...!

*(Then he lunged at Charmy and starts fighting him in a fight cloud until they roll outside through the doors and the doors slam shut as everyone paused and stared at the door, then Charmy from outside lets out a brief scream of pain. A brief silence, then the doors open and Starscream comes in, all smug and patting his hands in victory for a bit. Then Charmy sticks his head back in, feeling a little awkward while Starscream looked at him smugly with his arms crossed, feeling gloaty)*

Charmy: Hey, whoever is the owner of the White Sedan Hoverboard, you left your lights on.

*(Starscream suddenly got surprised along with Megatron)*

Megatron: (Sternly glaring daggers at Starscream) Starscream....

Starscream: (Sighs in annoyance) Curse my forgetfulness yet again.

*(He pulls his key fob for his White Sedan Hoverboard and pushes its button, turning the lights off)*

Charmy: Thanks.

*(Then Charmy walks in and it is revealed that Starscream, in their fight, has stuck his body into a trombone. Then trombone notes were heard as he walks towards his seat while Starscream, after he puts his key fob away, seated again. As Charmy also sits down, he makes a sound on his trombone, making a loud trombone noise as he opens his mouth. Eddy almost laughs at him for this, until Edd "Double D" backslaps his shoulder, making Eddy realize and quiet down with a sheepish apologetic look. Then we cut to a time card)*

French narrator: (Voice-over) Day two.

*(The next morning, the band class, with Charmy no longer in the trombone, is walking down a street playing “Semper Fidelis,” with Cranky conducting and leading the way)*

Cranky: (To the band class, during this) Okay, that's perfect, everybody. *(To himself, eagerly)* Bubble Bowl, here we come. *(To Hans Moleman and Bartholomew, who are being the flag twirlers, loudly in determination)* Flag twirlers, really spin those things. *(To the band class)* Okay, turn. *(To Hans and Bartholomew)* Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers, let's move! Come on, move it!

*(Hans and Bartholomew spun so hard that they take off into the sky and crash into a nearby blimp, which causes an explosion and making everyone shield their eyes from it. After that's over, Louis the Alligator then plays “Taps” on his trumpet while everyone made a mourning salute, except Cranky, who just lies down on the ground and curls into a fetal position, feeling somewhat embarrassed. Then we cut to another time card)*

French narrator: (Voice-over) Day three.

*(The next night, Cranky spoke with Puppetmon)*

Cranky: How's that giant harmonica solo coming, Puppetmon?

Puppetmon: (Smugly) It's tremendous and great! *(Eagerly)* You wanna see?

Cranky: (Shrugs nonchalantly) Yeah, sure.

*(Puppetmon then ran up to a giant harmonica and plays a note by blowing into a note hole. Then he ran to another note hole and blew into it as well. Then he ran to another note hole and blew into three of them in a row, and finally, on his way to the next note hole, Puppetmon panted a bit in exhaustion from all the running and upon reaching that note hole, he blows an unsuccessful last note with a hint of blowing a raspberry due to being exhausted into the note hole and faints in exhaustion. Silence as everyone stared, and then a slow and sarcastic applause was heard from two people. They turned, and saw Megatron and Starscream slowly clapping in sarcasm)*

Megatron: (Sarcastically) Very good, Puppetmon.

Starscream: (Sarcastically) You really brought the house down.

*(Then they finished their slow fake clapping as they chuckled wickedly a bit as Puppetmon got in recovery, giving them an indignant annoyed look like he's pouting. Then we cut to another time card)*

French narrator: (Voice-over) Day four.

*(The next night, Cranky is continuing his band class, which is the last night, but he is half nervous, half confident, and all of the seats are removed and the entire band class is equipped with their instruments)*

Cranky: Well, this is our last night together before the show. And I know that some of you haven't improved since we began....

*(Barney chews on his trumpet when he stopped in confusion upon seeing everyone stare at him in awkward silence)*

Barney: (Confused) What?

*(Then Cranky immediately changes the subject)*

Cranky: But anywho, I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?

Eddy: (Happily shouting in agreement) CORRECT!!

Cranky: (Concluding his theory) So, if we play loud, people might think we're good. *(Then he pulls out a conductor wand)* Everybody ready?

*(The band class prepared their instruments)*

Cranky: And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four!

*(Then we cut to the outside of the gym and a blast of loud band noise ensues, breaking the windows, and then it ended. Then we cut back to inside, where Cranky had been blown back into the seats pile, all dizzied and his conductor wand snaps. Then he snapped out of this, rubbing his head a bit in flat annoyance)*

Cranky: (In flat annoyance) Okay, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us.

*(Then King K. Rool spoke up in annoyance)*

K. Rool: Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try to play with small bony fingers!

*(Hearing K. Rool's insult, Pitch glared daggers at the Kremling King, angrily insulted)*

Pitch: What did you say, you royal scaled punk?!

K. Rool: (In mocking fear) Must I reiterate? *(Shouts in enunciation at Pitch seriously)* Small, bony, *fingers*!

Pitch: (Extremely livid, putting up his dukes) Well, these fingers isn't just for spreading nightmarish fear!

*(Then K. Rool made a "Challenge me" stance angrily at Pitch, who is also ready to fight)*

K. Rool: Bring it on, you ludicrous boogeyman wannabe! Bring it on!

*(Then Marge Simpson stepped in between the two to try and calm the situation)*

Marge: (Tries to calm the situation) No, people! Let's be smart and bring it off in a diplomatic way.

*(Helen Lovejoy then got sarcastically snarky)*

Helen: (Sarcastically snarky) Oh, so now the lady with the blue hedge hair is gonna preach to us!

Marge: (To Helen, suddenly angrily insulted) WHAT?!

Cranky: (Trying to calm the situation as everyone in the band class is about to fight) Wait, wait. I know tensions are high....

*(But everyone broke into their fist fight. Rainier Wolfcastle and Leatherhead are yelling at each other when Otto Mann slams a drum on Rainier, shocking Cranky as he watched this chaos going on helplessly)*

Cranky: (Shocked) There's a deposit on that equipment, people!

*(But everyone ignored him as the fighting continued and then used their instruments as weapons. Pitch and K. Rool charged at each other with their own large woodwind flutes like spears in determination and anger, but then screeched to a halt in shock, and Comic Book Guy slams them both with his cymbals, stunning them a bit)*

Comic Book Guy: (To himself, smugly) Best, sneak-attack, ever!

Cranky: (Trying to calm the situation, becoming desperate) Settle down, please!

*(But again, he’s ignored. Starscream and Louie Walters, meanwhile, are fighting with Starscream using his drumsticks and Louie using his xylophone when Starscream breaks the xylophone keys from Louie with his drumsticks like they're nunchuks and Louie, now seeing his xylophone all broken apart, runs away in a panic. But just when Starscream was about to go after him, drumsticks readied like nunchuks again, Charmy zipped by, having kicked Bart Simpson in his leg, much to the latter's chagrin and then Charmy unknowingly kicks Starscream in his leg again, which then made the second-in-command Decepticon growl a bit in annoyance and anger at Charmy, which the little Mobian bee got horrified upon realizing he kicked Starscream again)*

Charmy: (Nervously) Uh, mercy?

*(Starscream then grabbed a nearby trumpet with an evil grin. Realizing in horror what's coming, Charmy runs away screaming a bit as Starscream chases him with the trumpet. Then we cut to a clock which then struck 10:00 PM, ringing the bell, and everyone, upon hearing the ringing, stopped fighting and the ringing stopped as well. Then Frankie the Squealer points out the obvious)*

Frankie: Hey, class is over.

*(Then the band class suddenly got happy, as if the fighting didn't happen, and casually walked to the doors, talking with each other when suddenly, Cranky slams the doors open upon rushing up to them, blocking the band class' way. Then the band class saw Cranky, now all teary-eyed, in confusion)*

Cranky: (On the verge of crying) Well, you did it. You took my one chance in showing off to my rival, Baron Alberto, like I told you on the first day, and *crushed* it! *(Sobs)* Crushed it into little tiny, bite-size pieces.

*(The band class' confusion turned to a silent speechless reaction as they listened)*

Cranky: (About to cry) I really had expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that, now. Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. So, thanks. *(Sobs again)* Thanks for nothing, guys.

*[Then Cranky leaves, crying softly. After he's gone, the band class remained speechless, but this time, they are now calmly shocked at what their actions have caused on Cranky)*

Ed: (Clueless at first) You're welcome!

*(Then they looked at him, and Ed realized sheepishly in a guilty way)*

Ed: (Realizes sheepishly with a hint of guilt) Oh, sorry.

*(Then DK spoke up, feeling the most guilty)*

DK: What kind of monsters were we? That poor old ape came to us in his hour of need, and we failed him. Cranky's always been there for us when it was convenient for any of us, right?

Band class except DK: (Agreeing) Yeah. (Yes.)

*(Then DK turned to Baloo, Kit Cloudkicker, and Rebecca and Molly Cunningham)*

DK: Becky, when Molly was trapped in a house fire, who helped Baloo and Kit rescue her while putting the fire out with you?

Baloo's family: (Answering in confusion) A fireman.

*(Then DK turned to Cletus and Brandine Spuckler with their kids and Lisa nearby them)*

DK: And Cletus, when your heart gave out from you accidentally consuming too much grease-proof pills, who helped your kids revive you after Lisa helped Brandine call 911 for you?

Cletus: Some hospital guy in an am-blue-lance.

Brandine: That be right.

Lisa: (Correcting Cletus and Brandine) Actually, that's a paramedic in an ambulance.

Cletus and Brandine: (Cluelessly missing the correction point Lisa made) *Gesundheit*.

DK: (Then making his speech) Right. So, if we can all just pretend that Cranky was a fireman, or some paramedic guy in an ambulance, then I'm sure that we can all pull together and discover what it truly means to be in a marching band.

*(Getting the point DK's making, the band class agreed happily)*

Barney: Yeah, for the firemen!

Hibbert: And for the paramedics!

*(Everyone cheered a bit in agreement)*

DK: Now let's make Cranky proud!

*(Then DK proceeded to get ready to help himself and the band class practice in time for the Bubble Bowl the next day for Cranky's sake)*

DK: A 1, a 2, a skiddly diddly doo!

*(Then we cut to the entrance to the Bubble Bowl the next day, as Cranky, no longer crying, is walking there, glumly)*

Cranky: (Sighs glumly) I knew this was gonna happen. They're just gonna have to find another band to play. I just hope that....

*(Then he sees Alberto waiting at the entrance for him, giving a smug smirk)*

Cranky: (Panicking) ....Alberto doesn't find out! Alberto! *(Screams a bit)* What are you doing here?!

Alberto: *(Laughs a bit in a smug way, then smugly)* I came to watch you blow it. So, where's your band?

*(Hearing Alberto ask that, Cranky nervously lied)*

Cranky: (Nervously) Uh, they couldn't come, because they.... died in a marching accident.

*(Then Alberto noticed something behind Cranky and points it out smugly)*

Albert: (Smugly) Then who's that?

*(Cranky turned to where Alberto pointed, and to his shock and horror, Cranky saw it's his band class, all dressed in their marching band uniforms, all ready)*

Cranky: (Screams a bit in a panic) That would be my band!

Bart Simpson: (Reassuringly) Hey, don't have a cow, man. We're ready to perform.

Alberto: (Smugly) Well, Cranky, this is exactly how I pictured your band would look.

*(Ralph and Charmy danced goofily and eagerly a bit and then saluted in determination happily)*

Cranky: (Feeling uneasy and a bit embarrassed) That's their.... Eager faces.

*(Then after DK hands Cranky his marching band leader uniform, Cranky ran behind a changing curtain and came out, wearing it. Then they all go into the Bubble Bowl as Alberto chuckles a bit in a calm sneering way. Then they and even Alberto entered a big glass dome where the stage for the band is)*

Cranky: (Feeling nervous) I guess this will be the last time I can show my face in this town.

Ed: (Happily missing the point of what Cranky just said) That's the spirit, Cranky!

Double D: (To Ed, sternly through gritted teeth) Ed!

*(Then Ed sheepishly realized his mistake and then correctly reassured Cranky)*

Ed: (Sheepishly) Oh, uh.... *(Chuckles sheepishly a bit, then reassuring to Cranky)* It'll be okay.

Double D: (Smiling proudly to Ed) Much better.

*(Then the dome raises above the loading area, emerging into a football field)*

Football announcer: (Voice-over) Okay, football fans. Put your hands together for the Toon Town Super Band!

*(Then a huge crowd of people preparing for the Bubble Bowl Football Game cheered loudly a bit, excited to see the band perform before the game begins. Even Diddy Kong, despite feeling a little nervous, was impressed by the huge crowd of people consisting the audience)*

Diddy: This is some pre-football game, all right.

DK: (To Diddy, reassuringly) Relax, Little Buddy. We're gonna do great.

Diddy: (Feeling reassured and confident) Yeah, Big Buddy, you’re right.

*(Bluster Kong hesitated at first)*

Bluster: I think I'm gonna be sick.

*(But then he got determined happily)*

Bluster: But not today! We're gonna perform.

*(Then Cranky, feeling nervous, believing that his band will ruin his chance to show Alberto in front of the football fans crowd, pulled out his conductor wand and nervously got ready to start)*

Cranky: (Nervously) Okay, everybody.

*(Then he glances at Alberto, who grins smugly and stroke his pompadour a bit. Then Cranky nervously resumed his duty)*

Cranky: (Nervously) Let's get this over with. 1, 2, 3, 4....

*(Then to Cranky and even Alberto's shock and surprise, the band played a wonderful intro fanfare with their trumpets. Then as the crowd in the stadium loudly cheered a bit at that fanfare's beautiful performance, Double D walked over to Cranky and whispered to him)*

Double D: (Whispering in reassurance) While we made our last-minute practice last night, we found out from the Bubble Bowl brochure you showed us announcing that this year's Bubble Bowl band is gonna sound rock style.

Cranky: (Whispering in confusion) Rock style?

*(Then, as if answering Cranky's question as soon as the fanfare ended, Marge then plays the opening notes of a song on an electronic piano. Then DK begins singing into a microphone he now holds, like it's the calm start of a rock song at a rock concert)*

DK: **The winner takes all**

**It's the thrill of one more kill**

**The last one to fall**

*(As the song continued, Cranky's nervousness and confusion melted away calmly, slowly realizing in amazement what Double D meant by "Rock style")*

DK: **Will never sacrifice their will**

*(Then the band performed powerfully, now turning into a rock song in an actual rock concert as DK continued singing)*

DK: **Don't ever look back**

**On the world closing in**

*(As the performance continued, the entire stadium was not only filled with loud cheers and happiness, but also began to gently rock back and forth to the music while holding up their lit candlesticks in support)*

DK: **Be on the attack**

**With your wings on the wind**

**Oh, the games will begin**

*(As Alberto continued to stare in shock, Cranky, feeling determined and happy now, gives Alberto a smug grin and then in happy confidence and going with the rock n' roll flow, throws his conductor wand over his shoulder near the still shocked Alberto and then uses his arms for conducting instead, like it's a rock concert)*

DK: **And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah**

**And it's ours for the taking**

**It's ours for the fight**

*(Alberto then fainted in shock and gets carried away by two paramedics carrying a stretcher. Cranky waves a smug goodbye to Alberto and runs to the middle of the stage, continuing the performance that is winning the still cheering crowd over)*

DK: **And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah**

**And the one who's last to fall**

**Sweet, sweet victory....**

*(Then Cranky, feeling the performance's power, happily jumps up and the scene freezes. It then fades to black, ending the story)*

The end