Flashbacks

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**Flashbacks** (*Soumatou*) is Iris (Tainted ver.)'s lament. The Japanese version is sung by Hakubi.

## Media

【Lyric MV】Iris (Tainted) "Flashbacks" (Full Ver.) 【MementoMori】English version【MV】Soumatou（Song by Hakubi）(フル音源Ver.)【メメントモリ】Japanese version
## Lyrics

* English version
* Japanese version

If I were a perfect girl, oh so neat

Who'd obey everything that's said

If I were a perfect girl, oh so pretty

With a shiny smile, bright and spread

Whispering "what if" countless times

They keep spinning in my head

I know I can't turn them back

I know that's for sure

Flashing back my memories

There's nothing but a hollow and tarnished mess

There's only one thing I can recall

In the darkest corner where shadows crawl

Amidst the crowd, with a poker face

My lies flow like a river

through the town's sprawl

My breath, into the endless starry sky,

had gone away

Walking alone, the wilds, no path in sight

Living the past and present,

no turning back, I fight

I'm just myself, no one else can be

I'm just the way I seem

How can I disappear? My soul sways

Don't need that love, so pointless, all in vain

Don't need that love, so fleeting, lost in the pain

Lost in a world where hope's unseen

Still searching for a way

Can you find me by your side?

If I could've erased myself

If I could've faded far away at that time

If I'd given up myself

If I could've thrown it all away at that time

Morning light in endless chase, round and round

It's too bright and shiny for me

Fate raises its sword over me

As if mocking me

Ah...

No matter if my wishes and dreams came true

It's all so meaningless

And now I am tired of trying

Don't know where I should go

I'll spend the rest of my days

In endless nights, no more dreams

Just let it all crumble down

Let it all fall apart, I'm not scared

Ah...

Walking alone, the wilds, no path in sight

Living all day and night,

no turning back, my plight

I'm just myself, no one else can be

I'm just the way I seem

How do I vanish as my spirit sways?

Don't want that love, so heartless, all the same

I don't need anymore,

my heart's causing only pain

This world is too wide and too deep

For me to swim to you

Can you find me by your side?

Can you find me by your side?

* Japanese
* Romaji
* English translation

もしも私が聞き分けの良い子供だったら

もしも私が笑顔の綺麗な子だったら

何度繰り返す “もしも話”に私は

戻れないこともよく知ってる

よぎっていく走馬灯

ノイズ混じりで汚れて

暗い 暗い 部屋の隅

それしか思い出せない

綺麗事ばかりが溢れる人混みの中で

吐き出した膿の夜

漂う

あてもなく荒野をゆく

戻れない 今を生きていく

私は私でしかないこと

痛いほど感じる

くだらない 愛なんかいらない

許せない 自分でさえも

これしか生きれない 狭い世界で

私を見つけて

もしも私があの時消えてしまえたなら

もしも私が私を諦めきれたなら

何度巡ってくる 私に似合わない日差しを

嘲笑うように 刃を向けて

ああ

望みがいくつ叶おうとも

満たされなくて

流れた紅涙はまた冷えて

誰も私など愛さないまま

全て壊れてしまえばいいのに

ねえ

あてもなく荒野を行く

戻らない 今を生きていく

私は私でしかないこと

痛いほど感じる

くだらない 愛なんか知らない

何もいらない 汚れてくだけ

独りきり生きるには 広い世界で

私を見つけて

私を見つけて

moshimo atashi ga kikiwake no ii kodomo dattara

moshimo atashi ga egao no kirei na kodattara

nando kurikaesu moshimo hanashi ni watashi wa

modorenai koto mo yoku shitteru

yogitte iku soumatou

noizu majiri de yogorete

kurai kurai heya no sumi

sore shika omoi dasenai

kirei goto bakari ga afureru hitogomi no naka de

hakidashita umi no yoru

tadayou

ate mo naku kouya o yuku

modorenai ima o ikiteiku

atashi wa atashi de shika nai koto

itai hodo kanjiru

kudaranai ai nanka iranai

yurusenai jibun de sae mo

kore shika ikirenai semai sekai de

atashi o mitsukete

moshimo atashi ga ano toki kiete shimaetanara

moshimo atashi ga atashi o akirame kiretanara

nando megutte kuru watashi ni niawanai hizashi o

azawarau you ni yaiba o mukete

aa

nozomi ga ikutsu kanaoutomo

mitasa renakute

nagareta kourui wa mata hiete

dare mo watashi nado aisanai mama

subete kowarete shimaeba iinoni

nee

ate mo naku kouya o iku

modoranai ima o ikiteiku

atashi wa atashi de shika nai koto

itai hodo kanjiru

kudaranai ai nanka shiranai

nani mo iranai yogorete kudake

hitori kiri ikiru ni wa hiroi sekai de

atashi o mitsukete

atashi o mitsukete

What if I had been a more obedient child?

What if I had a prettier smile?

I asked myself those "What ifs" again and again

But I knew full well there was no turning back.

Flashbacks spring to mind, tainted by all the noise

And all I see is the deep, dark corner of a cold room

Nothing but empty words overflow from the city crowds

Filling the night air with the stench of lies

I aimlessly walk through the wastelands

No turning back, I'll keep living in the present

It hurts so much that I can't escape from being me

No reason to need any foolish love

I can't forgive anyone, not even myself

As I live in this caged world the only way I know how

Look for me

What if I had been able to disappear back then?

What if I had been able to completely give up on myself?

I raise my blade, scoffing at the horrid sunlight

But it keeps coming back, day after day

Ah

My wishes may come true, but I'll never be satisfied

The red tears my heart cried out will turn cold again

If there's no one out there to love me

Then everything should just be destroyed

Right?

I aimlessly walk through the wastelands

No turning back, I'll keep living in the present

It hurts so much that I can't escape from being me

No room in my heart for any foolish love

I don't need anything, all I touch will just get tainted

As I'm trapped in a world too vast for me to live all alone

Look for me

Look for me