Barf

**Barf** is a humanoid flesh golem employed at the Tits & Slither tavern.

## Biography

### Early Life

Scavenged from several corpses and animated with fey magic, Barf was manufactured for sale into slavery and was as such determined to be a flesh golem of the highest quality, with minimal decomposition and relatively similar parts. Many of his components came from one man, Bartholomew Criest, though he was composed with organs from several other humanoid species. His name is likely a corruption of Criest's and the result of his impaired vocality.

Barf spent his early days being brutally abused and trained to be subservient and reliable. He underwent much physical toil to prepare him for a life of manual labour and was conditioned to react submissively to the cracking of whips. As he adjusted to his body, he was taught basic unskilled work and first aid skills so that he could repair damage to his decaying tissue and prolong his lifespan in servitude of his masters. Barf proved to be a most promising candidate for auction and was prepared for sale very soon into his life.

### Saved from Auction

Barf was to be sold at auction by the fey slave trade coincidentally at the same time Lacey Stain was infiltrating the organisation. Needing to make an impressive sale to win the favour of the trade's highest bidders, Stain purchased Barf for thirty-thousand gold under the pretence that he was to be sent to work elsewhere. In reality, Stain freed Barf and offered him safe passage out of Axis, which he refused. When she suggested he leave the country, he expressed no interest in doing so and when she attempted offering him refuge at Summer Citadel, he still refused. With his poor language and cognitive abilities, Lacey believed he simply did not understand what his freedom meant and took him to the Sylwealdian border, where she pointed him in the direction of Huleton and left him to make his own way.

However, Barf instead returned to Axis, refusing to leave Stain's side. Despite her best efforts, the golem insisted on following her around and swore allegiance to her out of gratitude for her kindness in freeing him. After several attempts to send him elsewhere, Stain eventually became endeared to the lumbering golem. One evening she found him sleeping in the rain beneath a thin tarpaulin outside her tavern and put him up for the night. His insistence on helping out around Tits & Slither prompted Lacey to give in altogether by asking if he could pull a pint.

### New Adventures of Old Barf

Barf proved to be a model employee, taking his duties very seriously and undertaking most of the bar's manual labour. The other bar staff took an immediate liking to him and became very protective over him, especially Caithera. He even proved to be both intimidating and physically capable enough to occasionally act as security for the tavern. However, despite his hard work, Barf refused any payment from Lacey. Feeling indebted to her for his freedom, he insisted he was perfectly happy serving her however she saw fit and required no payment. Lacey therefore offered to house and feed Barf, giving him a room in the tavern and occasionally finding ways to gift him some money or other personal effects.

Barf's residence at Tits & Slither was welcomed by Niaro, who was at the time also residing at the tavern and had recently experienced an attack while locking up by herself for the first time. Though she soon moved out of the tavern to become a paid staff member, the two formed a bond during their time residing at the tavern together and stayed close after her moving out. Niaro even equated much of her recovery and restored confidence after her attack to Barf's company.

Barf's continued loyalty to Stain saw him become trusted and well-liked amongst the tavern's local patrons, soon extending his popularity to Lacey's less sociable allies Étienne, the shadow-mage thief, and Ragathor, the ruby dragon guarding her gold. He became well-acquainted with members of the B'gass orc tribe who frequented the bar and even with Silk whenever he visited from the Grove of Whispers in the tunnels beneath the tavern. Barf was overjoyed by the freedoms he had been given and, having only ever known a life of servitude, considered himself incredibly lucky to have made so many friends. Noticing the blandness of his bare room, Barf's colleagues and friends eventually started finding any excuse to gift him personal decorations, which he proudly displayed in his bedroom as a mark of his new friendships.

## Personality

Barf is very much a gentle giant and is incredibly kind, gentle and earnest. Though his simplistic outlook can make him seem childlike, he is not stupid and is very dependable. His naïveté and occasional dimwittedness notwithstanding, Barf's slow and terse speech make him come across far less intelligent than he actually is and he continues to learn about the world at an advanced rate for someone so young. Despite this, he is very literal and struggles to comprehend sarcasm and irony.

Barf is incredibly loyal, swearing fidelity to Lacey despite her efforts to free him and quickly becoming protective of his coworkers, Silk and the establishment as a whole, even extending this loyalty to some of the tavern's patrons. He does not take kindly to anyone who speaks ill of Lacey or any of his friends and is always prepared to defend them. He also has a very strong work ethic and always completes tasks to the fullest.

Barf is very sympathetic and particularly fond of small creatures, as well as the young and the innocent, with whom he feels a kinship. In many ways a child himself, Barf gets on well with children and pets and enjoys making toys, art and baked goods. He is also quite fond of bright colours and pretty things.

## Abilities

Barf was considered nigh on indestructible by his creators, largely due to his overall health compared to most reanimated beings and his efficient self-surgery skills. Certain aspects of his anatomy are orcish, elven, dwarvish and even dragonborn. Together, these afford him a high degree of strength, durability and endurance. Though some of his organs are from female donors, he identifies as male and uses masculine pronouns.

His considerable strength is complemented by combat skills courtesy of muscle memory, though different parts of his body have very different fighting styles, making him an unpredictable opponent. Luckily, in addition to fighting, Barf has retained muscle memory of bar work, including pulling pints, as well as other tasks besides manual labour. One of these appears to be an innate skill for cooking, which he has interest in improving.

Barf's training as a slave has made him an impeccable cleaner, efficient manual labourer and master of silence. He has also endured sufficient physical pain to have developed a high tolerance for it.

Though his failure to understand subtlety can make him oftentimes gullible, Barf continues to learn from each mistake he makes and grows more intelligent day by day. Though limited, his vocabulary is certainly colourful and he enjoys learning obscure words to pepper his unique speech pattern with.

## Equipment

* **Fey Gyves:** Barf retains the shackles that he was bound with while kept by the slave trade. Forged from fey metals, they occasionally make for decent melee weapons and double as armguards.
* **Pink:** Barf's first gift was a pink rag given to him by Lacey to dry himself off from the rain, which he calls his 'pink' and often wears as a belt. He holds this simple item in high regard as his first tangible experience of kindness and usually has it on his person.

## Relationships

Allies* Tits & Slither
	+ Lacey Stain - Liberator and Boss
	+ Caithera - Manager and Friend
	+ Étienne - Colleague and Friend
	+ Niaro - Colleague and Friend
	+ Peg - Colleague
	+ Bury - Colleague
	+ Phaul - Colleague
	+ Fill - Colleague
* Ragathor - Ally
* B'gaas Tribe - Patrons and Allies

## Trivia

* Barf's right arm is quite a bit longer than his left.