Bella Ridley

Bella as she appears on the cover of Book Two

International Sales Director

Chairwoman of the Cosmo Macaroon Fansite

Benny Ridley (older brother)

Pamela Ridley (older sister)

Aunt Bobbie (aunt)

Uncle Ariel (uncle)

Sir James Godwin

Adaam

Marko Ourigues

Jim Sterling

Doug and Chuck ("The Ranch Crew")

James Spooner

Professor Slinz

Neil MacDuff

George Macintosh

Cosmo Macaroon

Quince

Des Martin

Iain Snail

**Bella Candida Ridley**, mistakenly referred to as **Donna** in Chapter 3 of Book One, was the International Sales Director at Steele's Pots and Pans and a member of the Confidential Order of Cookware Knights before being poached to work at Bisch-Herstellung Enterprises. She is Belinda Blumenthal's loyal friend and former subordinate and one third of the 'Glee Team', along with Belinda, Giselle, occasionally Hazel, and debatably, Maeve.

Bella is characterised by her extreme stupidity and thick Essex accent, given to her by Jamie during his readings. Both Rocky and Jamie have claimed that Bella is based on a girl from Jamie's school days.

She played Prince Charming in Christmas Porno 6.

## Appearance

Rocky devotes very little attention to Bella's appearance. Like the rest of his female characters, Bella has a curvaceous figure with large breasts and buttocks. Her hair is light brown.

## Personality

> *"She'll drink bleach thinking it's WKD Blue, she's not all there!"*
>
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> - Alice Levine
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>

Bella is incredibly stupid, loudmouthed and uncouth. She almost always makes a spectacular scene (even by the standards of other characters) wherever she goes. She has an enormous appetite and is regularly seen consuming large quantities of food and alcohol. Her one interest outside of food is "telly", which she watches endlessly. Her favourite programme is *Cooking with Cosmo*, combining her love of food and television.

Alice, James and Jamie have often questioned why other characters put up with her and have frequently expressed concern about the fate which will inevitably befall her. Alice is convinced she will not make it to 30.

Despite her worse qualities she is blindly loyal to Steele's and is a devoted friend to Belinda. Although they regard her as a nuisance, and have often actively expressed their hatred for her, Alice, James and Jamie have all agreed, in their weaker moments, that she would be fun to spend time with.

## Biography

### Season One

Bella is first introduced in the second chapter of Book One as Steele's receptionist. Belinda meets her as she is leaving the leather room in Tony Sylvester's office. They compare the straightness of one another's thongs and agree to meet outside of work the following week. Later that evening she joins Belinda and Giselle at a regional sales meeting in the "long bar" at the Pentra and the three women begin masturbating and fingering each other as the meeting progresses.

Bella is one of several Steele's employees who attends the Asses and Donkeys Trust tombola. After Belinda returns from the maze, she notices Bella (referred to here as 'Donna') smeared in red lipstick following a bizarre altercation with Lord Duke Clarence and Sir James Godwin, elaborated on in Book Two. She is sold to Jim Stirling for £350.

### Season Two

Bella meets Giselle and Belinda at the long bar for their weekly Glee Team meeting, where Bella explains that before the tombola she was asked to entertain Clarence. Clarence stripped her and proceeded to smear her body with red lipstick. This was interrupted when Clarence's wife, The Duchess, discovered them together. Bella escaped as The Duchess began attacking Clarence and on her way back to the barbecue encountered Sir James Godwin, who had "a quick fumble" with her "tits and clit" before sending her on her way. As Bella explains these events, Sir James Godwin arrives at the long bar and begins making sexual advances towards her.

Belinda heads back to Bella's apartment where they spend the night together before going out the next day to 'Forster's of Knightsbridge, Dressage Outfitters to Royalty' to purchase horse riding outfits. Despite having no prior knowledge of this, Bella claims she is prepared to spend £1000 on an outfit. As the morning progresses, Bella becomes increasingly inebriated, consuming several bottles of complementary champagne and eventually seducing their fitter, Adaam. Bella comments that his penis is "not bad for a lad" and that he is "hung like a big red London bus". Nobody is entirely sure what she means by this. It is here that Jamie first uses an Essex accent for her in his readings.

Soon after, Belinda and Bella fly to Texas to rendezvous with Jim Stirling and seal their business deal. On the way over, Bella participates in a threesome with Belinda and their pilot, Hazel. Once in Texas, Bella is asked to meet privately with Jim, where she presumably encounters the plastic surgeon Marko Ouriguez. At the end of their meeting Bella and Belinda fly to Jim's 'Lazy P Ranch' where she has sex with several ranch hands.

Upon returning to London, Belinda recommends Bella for a promotion, claiming that she could not have completed the deal with Jim without Bella's help and that her breasts are fantastic. This prompts Tony to blink.

### Season Three

Bella is instantly offered the promotion to Key Account Manager for International Sales - presumably on the basis of her breasts - and she accepts enthusiastically. She encounters Giselle and discovers that she is engaged to Tony. She also questions whether or not Giselle is pregnant, however Giselle assures her this is not the case.

She is not heard from again in the book until Belinda returns from Yorkshire, where the two of them accompany Giselle to the Torremolinos Strip for her hen party. Once again Bella becomes heavily intoxicated and together with Giselle and Belinda, encounters 'Butch the Sunburnt Kid', a young Swedish boy who asks if one of the three women would help him get to grips with "standard sex", as he is a virgin. Bella and Giselle vie for the opportunity to sleep with him first, however Butch ultimately decides he wants to sleep with Belinda.

### Season Four

Bella attends Giselle and Tony's wedding, wearing a white dress, where she becomes overwhelmed with emotion and Belinda resorts to fingering her to calm her down. During the reception she converses with Grigor Kolanski and The Countess Zara of Leningrad. She notes that Tony does not trust the new receptionist, Maeve.

She is undressed and interrogated by Agent James Spooner on top of the officer photocopier, and Bella is disappointed that he doesn't have sex with her. Ultimately she concludes that Spooner is bisexual, believing that this is the only reason he would not go all the way.

Bella joins Giselle and Belinda at Steele's factory, where she participates in a massive orgy following Professor Slintz's display of his Tri-Oxy Brillo range.

After Slintz's abduction by Giselle, Bella is one of 30 people (most of whom are unnamed) who Belinda recruits to form the Confidential Order of Cookware Knights. She is one of the many characters caught in the explosion from a car bomb planted outside of Steele's headquarters.

### Season Five

Bella is seriously injured by the car bomb (revealed to have been set off by Tony's brother, George Sylvester) and falls into a coma. However she makes a sudden, miraculous recovery in hospital, borne out of an unconscious fear of missing out on a sexual liaison between Belinda and her doctor, Veronica Stud. Upon regaining consciousness, her first request is for someone to get her a "McMassive meal deal with extra cheese string salsa" and a bottle of Chilean chardonnay to wash it down. Overjoyed that her friend is awake, Belinda rips off Bella's clothes and performs cunnilingus on her, whereupon she violently and copiously squirts on Belinda's face and into her mouth.

She later accompanies Belinda on her mission to Australia to pursue Giselle and George, and on an apparent whim, to rendezvous with celebrity chef Cosmo Macaroon. After Belinda is kicked out of the offices of Cosmo Macaroon's agent, Bella reveals that she is the chairwoman of Cosmo's Fansite, giving her access to the studio recording of Cosmo's television series. Bella's precise relationship with Cosmo is left unclear, though Cosmo instantly recognises her, making it entirely possible the two have met (or even slept together) before. Belinda and Bella seduce Cosmo with little effort, and are able to deliver a successful sales pitch during their tryst. Thanks to their efforts, the Oxy-Brillo Range becomes the fastest-selling line of kitchenware in Australian history.

The following morning, Bella and Belinda are given holiday time and decide to backpack across the outback together. On a train, a Spanish backpacker by the name of Quince enters their compartment, and the three strike up a friendship. He joins them in the youth hostel that night, and partakes in the orgy Belinda hosts in their hostel room. The next day, the three head to the beach. Bella is reluctant to accompany Belinda and Quince for a swim, believing the sea to be infested with sharks. They soon engage in a threesome, whereupon they are captured by a black ops team led by Giselle and George.

Bella and Belinda are imprisoned in some kind of black site by George in retaliation for their dealings with Cosmo Macaroon. In an effort the free themselves, the two begin to have sex, coaxing the loquacious security guard posted at their cell to enter, leaving the door unlocked. However their plan is inadvertently thwarted by James Spooner, whose attempt to rescue the pair leads to his own imprisonment. With little else to do, Belinda, Bella and Spooner participate in another threesome.

They are soon freed by Giselle, having changed allegiances yet again following George's betrayal, and begin a tussle with Bisch, George and his henchmen, soon aided by the COCKs. Bella proves herself to be quite the fighter, able to hold her own against Bisch and his henchmen (though given Bisch's diminutive size and severe health problems, this is not much of a victory). COCKs' victory seems secure, but at the very last moment, Bisch and George make their escape in a concealed balloon emerging from beneath the floor. Bella and the rest of COCK can only watch helplessly as Belinda is dragged away with them.

### Season Six

Two days after Belinda's disappearance in Australia, Bella Ridley has stepped into Belinda's old position as International Sales Director. She attends the funeral for James Spooner, leading the funeral procession as she is the last person he "ravaged" before his death. Later, at Steele's HQ, in her new refurbished office (complete with 16th century boat doorknob, and mermaid tail desk), she reflects that she doesn't know how to do this job without Belinda. She relaxes by having sex with Des Martin on her desk.

Bella arrives in Sydney to pick Belinda up, and they attend the Pots and Pan-Pacific Conference along with Giselle, who is in disguise. Bella presents the Cry No More Knife to the assembled body, but the presentation goes wrong when the fan inside the blade had not been properly calibrated, causing the knife to suck onion juice into Bella's eyes rather than blow it away from them. Nonetheless, she finishes her presentation like the professional she wishes she was.

Despite Belinda's return to Steele's, Bella remains International Sales Director.

## Appearances

* Season 1 episodes 2, 3, 7
* Season 2 episodes 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17
* Season 3 episodes 1, 11, 12
* Season 4 episodes 1, 2, 3, 7, 12, 13
* Season 5 episodes 1, 2, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13
* Season 6 episodes 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10
* Christmas Porno's 1, 3, 4, 5, 6
* Finale Part 1

## Notes

* Despite Bella being one of the first characters to be introduced, her last name, Ridley, was only revealed for the first time in Chapter 7 of Book 4.
* Although the information is revealed in trickles, as of 2021 we have learned Bella's surname, her middle name, her family, and where she grew up. It is arguable that we know more about Bella than Belinda.
* After Belinda Blumenthal, Bella is the character to have had the most appearances in the series.
* Bella's promotion from receptionist to International Sales Director is likely the biggest (and fastest) promotion in the entire *Belinda Blinked;* saga.