Donkey Van

Donkey Van fake card

The **Donkey Van** is a 2001 (approximately) Mitsubishi Express that Wade bought because he wanted "the car equivalent of a work mule." Wade had it for almost a year, from April 2022 until he and James killed it in March 2023 when they put engine conditioner and smoke stopper into the engine in an attempt to stop the ignition from prematurely burning fuel, blowing a head gasket between cylinders 2 and 3. This rendered the Donkey Van "dead", briefly being succeeded by the Renault *Le Van* before it rose back from the dead on May 2023 by *simply fixing the head gasket*... and that's it.

On 26 May 2023, James and Wade fixed the Donkey Van and made an economy test. It scored 14.3 liters per on 100 km. They also installed a tachometer and conducted "The Hill" test, where it registered 4000 RPM.

## History

Back when Wade moved into his old warehouse (the one where the Parafield Airport flight school loved to use the airspace as a practice circuit), he rented a 2016 Volkswagen Transporter that he claimed had a big issue: "It was too nice". He didn't want to damage or scratch it, so when he walked into a used car shop to buy a cheap van he wasn't afraid to wreck, he found what would become the Donkey Van parked outside. It used to be the car dealer's personal workhorse and it wasn't for sale, but Wade offered the owner a few grand and they let him have it.

Wade used the van to transport drums as part of his side hustle as a drum seller.

## Death and resurrection

The Donkey Van was reliable (truly capturing the feel of a work mule), and was Wade's most useful nugget until the engine started pinging sometime in March 2023. A high-pitched pinging noise means that the ignition is burning fuel earlier than it should, ruining the delicate fuel-air balance and making the van run out of fuel earlier than it should. James and Wade attempted to fix the ignition issue with engine conditioner and smoke stopper, but even though the ignition timing was slowed down by a little bit, the engine stopped being able to turn over when starting. The engine quit starting completely, and in March 2023, James and Wade officially declared the Donkey Van dead, after which it temporarily had to be replaced by a Renault van nicknamed Le Van.

During *What killed the donkey van?*, it turns out that the experiment made the overheated engine blow the head gasket between cylinders 2 and 3. After ***ONLY*** replacing the head gasket, on 26 May 2023, the Donkey Van rose back from the dead and was once again back with the crew. While the fix did wipe out the pinging issues and made the engine fire up once more, after an economy test, the Donkey Van performed worse and stands at the bottom of The Litreboard, having consuming MORE fuel and has "lost its sparkle".

## Notes

* Wade thought that the van was only gonna last 3 months, but until its death at his own stupid hands, the van still lived and surpassed any longevity expectations, lasting for nearly a full year. Wade claimed that it was his "absolute favourite car".
* Wade is know for throwing stuff at the Donkey Van and also kicking it to demonstrate how tough it is.
* In the episode "Fixing" the donkey van with bananas." Wade and James put banana peels in the Donkey Van's rear differential in order to make the noise it makes stop, It didn't work and it still makes a noise. Now the rear differential is just filled with bananas.
* It had an aftermarket Sony CDX-GT290 head unit with a CD copy of Jamiroquai's "Travelling Without Moving", but the disc was stuck in the head unit and failed to play. In the Donkey Van's brief death, it managed to eject the CD as a "parting gift".
* An entire Hungry Jacks cappuccino has been poured straight into the driver's side footwell due to the van having no cup holders.
* In the video "The MP5 Player", the titular MP5 player gets installed into the Donkey Van.

## Known faults

-Noisy rear differential.

-No carpet on the sliding door.

-Oil comes out of the exhaust pipe.

-Ignition prematurely burning fuel.