QoA x NeoScum: Fingering the Bone Throne - Part Two

> "*First time I had to bail out a lumper in hell.*"
> ― Dak Rambo
>
>

**QoA x NeoScum: Fingering the Bone Throne - Part Two** is the fourteenth episode of Queens of Adventure Legends. It is the second half of the second NeoScum crossover special and the final NeoScum crossover overall. In it, the five mortals try to earn their way out of Avernus.

## Synopsis

The party has found a chamber full of chests of soul coins guarded by the undead who spring to life as they approach. Pox grabs fives coins, and Arson grabs three, feeling a wave of negative emotions, which she struggles through. Arson uses *prestidigitation*to make an echoing tongue pop to confuse the corpses.

Up top, Dak Rambo poorly explains technology to Fox E, until Amon Duul notices devils flying towards the citadel in the distance. He draws his great axe. Fox E casts *light* on one of the teeth to act as a signal, but the monsters see it as well. Pox sees a human body and grabs it. Aloysius identifies it as his, but debates which one to claim. Fox E says her studies tell her people could only leave the underworld in their own body. Amon severs the head from the devil body and Dak throws it at the body. Aloysius's head misses and bounces downstairs to the first floor.

Arson charges through the room, using her many legs to knock a path through the headless corpses. The others follow her down the stairs to the first floor where there is a dark, gore covered chamber. The tank vehicle is parked by a far wall as the chained devil chastises his devils for their incompetence.

Dak breaks away from the party, enamored of the devil's rig. He grabs Amon and offers to drive it for the devil. The chained devil says he will put him to work on the soul extractor, which Fox E knows is the part of the machine that turns mortal souls into fuel.

Amon launches into a fury and tries to attack the chained devil, who catches it and lifts Amon into the air before hurling him onto the back of the rig. Dak whips Kovic with his flails. The devil's face twists into his hated enemy, fellow trucker Little Marco. Dak backs away from the devil and tries to run up to the truck which is a place of comfort. He finds a slot where a soul coin could fit. He tries to *sleight of hand* hotwiring the vehicle, but fails. Arson, turning visible casts *Samantha's curse* and summons her pact weapon as a bazooka. The weapon fires vibrating neck massagers at the devil twice.

Kovic whips one of his chains at Dak, furious he is on the throne. It wraps around Dak and barbs on the links dig into the ranger.

Devils with a variety of weapons approach Arson standing on a pile of bones. Amon, still holding his great axe which is being held by Kovic, slashes with his hand axe. It digs into Kovic's hand and he releases Amon who drops and makes another great axe attack, slicing through chains.

Fox E casts *spiritual weapon* conjuring a hippogriff from a shoulder tattoo which attacks one of the approaching devils, crushing it to the ground. It launches into the air, but misses another devil. Meanwhile, Pox affixes Aloysius's head to his body, a wobbly connection with the spidersilk. She dashes up to Kovic.

Arson fires her bazooka twice more, pummeling Kovic making his chains vibrate and some of them fall off. Aloysius staggers around, holding his head with one hand, and dashes up onto the vehicle. He pulls the chains off of Dak. A devil strikes Arson with a pitchfork. She gives him elevator eyes, trying to cast *hellish rebuke*, but the devil is unaffected. A second devil attacks the hippogriff with tail spikes before throwing his pitchfork but misses Arson.

Amon's great axe slams Kovic again who retaliates by summoning the fallen chains to attack Amon, who shakes them off.

Fox E's hippogriff lunges, missing in its weakened state twice, as Fox E dashes to the war machine.

Pox slices through Kovic's achilles' heel with her nine-lives stealing long sword, disengages, and runs to the vehicle. She tosses Dak a soul coin which he drops into the slot. It growls to life. Dak reverses the vehicle over the two devils by Arson (who hops aboard), crushing them, before rolling forward straight over Kovic. The vehicle smashes through the doors as Dak hog calls Xanadu to come join them.

As they ride, Pox hands one of the extra teeth to Aloysius, who finds it is one of his. He and Pox fix their makeup a little as they ride up to the banks of the Styx next to the ferryman.

Noticing they managed to escape the citadel, and with a war machine, the ferryman suggests the party might be able to make a life for themselves as Hell Pirates. Dax considers it until Fox E threatens to throw one of the stars she found at him. Arson and Pox hand out all the soul coins so they can decide for themselves what to do. Dak offers a spare coin to the ferryman, who calls himself Jake after Pox insists on him going home with them.

Jake ferries them across the river. Xanadu slowly looks more truck like as they approach a portal on the far bank. As Jake departs, he says they have made a powerful friend, and is sure they will be back given their high body count. Dak slips a device to Fox E, who asks what "Low battery" means.

The group passes through the portal and returns to their worlds.

### Characters

#### Party

Queens of Adventure

* Arson Nicki - drider warlock
* Fox E. Kim - high elf cleric

NeoScum:

* Amon Duul the Third - half-orc barbarian - Gannon Reedy
* Dak Rambo - human ranger - Mike Migdall
	+ Xanadu - battle boar companion
* Pox - high elf rogue - Eleni Sauvageau

#### NPCs

* Aloysius the Paladin
* Princeps Kovic - chained devil
* Jake the Ferryman

#### Monsters/Enemies

* Devils
* Headless Corpses

## Episode Notes

### Lore

* Soul Coins in Avernus can be used as fuel for infernal machines

### Memorable Quotes

* "Or like a salad spinner you just get rid of the ball bearings? How do I know what a salad spinner is?" - Fox E. E Kim
* "Im sorry can we. So you stuck your finger in the slot on the-" "Bone throne cockpit" - "and you felt an evil malevolent force." - Arson Nikki, Dak Rambo, and Pox
* "I am nameless and eternal, but you can call me... Jake!" - the Ferryman

### References

* Apple iPod and related technology
* Red Rover
* Harry Potter hippogriff rules
* Joan Jett's "Pitchfork"
* Tokyo Drift
* Crypto-currency
* Aladdin
* Myth of Orpheus

### Name That Tune

* "School's Out for Summer" - Alice Cooper

## Behind the Queens

* During the mid-episode break, Matt announces an upcoming live stream to raise money for the NAACP in partnership with EA. June 24th, 2020 at 4pm Pacific with Rock M. Sakura, Erika Klash, and KaiKai Bee Michaels from the San Francisco cast.

**Enter the Wigsnatch** - Part One -- Part Two
**Day of the Lepus** - Part One -- Part Two
**Live Panels** -- RuPaul's DragCon 2018 -- Minneapolis LIVE: Gaylaxicon 2019 -- PAX West 2019
**The Pernicious Poisoning of Peachblossom** Part One -- Part Two
**QoA x NeoScum**: Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Feet Pics for the Hellwasp - Part One -- Fingering the Bone Throne - Part One -- **Fingering the Bone Throne - Part Two**
**Hang Ten**: Part One -- Part Two
**Geekhaus Live**: Part One - Part Two
**Emerald Forest Adventure Con**: Part One - Part Two
**Children of the Cornball**: Part One - Part Two
**Seattle in Chicago**: Part One - Part Two