The Big Finale!

The Big Finale! is the twenty fourth and final chapter of the Wombles Seven.

Barry ran on a special device he liked to call the ‘cosmic treadmill’ to help himself thinking.  Then something very unexpected happened.

Barry looked around and he found himself on some kind of isle.  He could see people around him singing songs and then he turned around and saw a large golden bridge appearing across the sea toward a kingdom.  He took advantage and ran across it, then realised he had just knocked down a lot of people.  Everyone in this place seemed to be having fun and dancing.

Barry grabbed one of the people, who had her hair dyed a lot of colours, and dragged them behind the large castle.

“What’s happening?” he asked quietly.

“I’d like to know the same thing!  Who are you?”

“I’m The Flash, who are you?”

“Audrey.”

“I need to get back to America so I can run on my cosmic treadmill and then get back to England to help the Justice League of America.”

Audrey blinked.  “I don’t know what any of that meant, but okay.”

“I don’t recognise this part of the world.  Where am I?”

“Auradon.”

“Auradon?  How did I end up in Auradon?  Did I just wake up?  What year is it?”

Audrey promptly told him the year.

“That’s impossible!” said Barry.  “That means… half a year went by in one second.  I’m used to things around me going slow, not fast.”

“It might sound ridiculous, but do you think you might have time travelled?” asked Audrey.

“Great Scott!” exclaimed Barry.  “Audrey, you’ve got it!  Holy Eobard Thawne!  I managed to time travel like the Reverse Flash!  But… how do I get back?”

“Well,” began Audrey, “I’ve been working on this theory. There’s this staff which I stole once- It made me turn evil, but I think that was just because my thoughts at the time were being granted.  Perhaps, if you take it, and think about your time, you’ll arrive back there?”

“Maybe… But could I take you with me?  I need help… There’s this demon, Trigon.  We need to defeat him before he takes over hell and unleashes it into the world.”

“Oh.  Okay. But in that case, there’s something else you’ll need to take with you.  I don’t entirely know what it is, but it’s called the sword of Gryffindor, and it’s supposed to be able to create a god-killer.  It was dropped off in Auradon by a man who claimed to be a wizard.”

“Okay.  Let’s go.”

Barry ran Audrey to the staff (after one second of looking for it), and they both held on to it, the sword also poised in Barry’s hand. They forced thoughts of time travel to the front of their minds.  Barry was doing fine, but Audrey had messed up.  She thought about too far in the past and worries of forgetting everything about this once she got there were equally at the front of her mind.

Barry arrived a few minutes before his present, but Audrey had gone further into the past.

The sword of Gryffindor floated away.  It seemed to be going to its rightful owner, the wizard who had dropped it off at Auradon.  Then Barry remembered something.

“Alfred needs to get to that sword!”

Barry ran after the sword, checking where it was going. It went to a cave and straight through a wall.  Barry was about to run to the Batcave to make sure Alfred found the sword, but then he realised that if he saw his past self, who was currently at the Batcave, he would completely destroy the space-time continuum forever.  So instead, he ran across London looking for something to hide himself.  He broke into a lot of houses before getting to the house of Harry Potter.  He stole the invisibility cloak and, making sure to disguise his voice, rang the Batcave.

Harry’s wand was on the table along with a book of spells. One of them was a hypnosis spell.

Barry picked up Harry’s wand, pointed it at the phone, and said, “Imperio.”  Trusting that Alfred had been hypnotised by this, Barry gave a command.  “Follow the Sword of Gryffindor.”  In a trance, Alfred took the Batmobile and rode off to a cave.

The rest you know.

After Alfred had woken up in hell and been knocked out, another person tumbled down from the Room 101 studio.  It was Katy Perry.  Then came David Vincent, then all the Meowys.

“What are you all doing here?” asked Alfred, healing very quickly.

“Taylor Swift put me in Room 101.” Replied Katy.

“Roy Thinnes put aliens into Room 101.” Continued Vincent.

“Joshua Tailor put Meowys into Room 101.” Explained Meowykins.

“What’s that awesome sword you’re holding bro?” asked Meowymagic.

Alfred suddenly realised that he was holding the Sword of Gryffindor.  “Oh.” He said then turned his head to look for Trigon.  He thought he wasn’t there at first, but then he saw him through the window of a large yacht which had been left there.  It had a note written with blood on the side, which said, “This high-speed mission yacht is now the property of Trigon.”

“I’ll need help.” Said Alfred, realising that Trigon had Mordax and a group of what looked like Dickensian actors who reminded him of John Steed by his side.

“How can we help?” asked Meowythings.

“Each of you hold on to my sword and say ‘Shazam’-“ Alfred turned back into his average self.  “Shazam.” He turned back into his superhero self.  “So yes, say that word, then if you change, you are pure of heart.  If not, sorry but I can’t recruit you.”

Everyone within hearing range formed a queue in front Alfred. “Ah.” He said.  “This could take a while.”

Meanwhile, Trigon was talking to his henchmen.  “All state your names and then we can continue.” He said.

“Mordax.”

“Second Cousin Steed.”

“Long Since Forgotten Steed.”

“Emma Susan Peel.”

“Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Uncle Steed.”

“Very good.  Now, help me to start this high-speed mission yacht so we can ride it into the devil and I can take his place on the throne.”

“Don’t forget me boss!” said Mordax.  Trigon ignored him.  Gus ignored Trigon.

“Get to work!” shouted Trigon at Gus.

“First, I need to make a suggestion.  Killing the devil won’t necessarily make people and demons loyal to you.  However, in every person there is every type of a type of a type of emotion.  I have a way to focus just one emotion, no matter how little it used to be, to the forefront of someone’s mind.  I’ve never tried it on a demon before, but it’s worked on some very powerful people such as Harry Potter.  He was just a test run, but clearly it worked quite well; his love for Hermione Weasley is now his only guidance.  And David Vincent as well.  His concern for his home planet is the only concern he has now.  So, let me try it.”

“Fine.  If our plan fails, you can bring out loyalty to me in every demon and person in hell. That wizard’s champion can’t defeat me, especially not alone.  He doesn’t know what he’s dealing with.”

The trials for champions with Alfred had now finished all except for two.  Meowywhite and David Vincent were still in the queue.

Meowywhite held onto the sword then exclaimed, “SHAZAM!” Since her heart is as white as snow, she transformed into a humanoid tabby cat wearing a white dress with the same lightning emblem as Alfred.

Then it was Vincent’s turn.  Alfred was sure he wasn’t pure of heart, but let him try anyway.

“Shazam.” Said Vincent, then to Alfred’s major surprise, he transformed.  He was now wearing a blue version of Alfred’s suit.

“So what are we calling ourselves?” asked Meowywhite, excited.

“You can be Meowymarvel!” said Alfred, “And you, Vincent, can be Captain Marvel Junior.  As for me… I.  AM. CAPTAIN MARVEL!!!!”  Alfred’s shouting sounded like someone mocking Superman, and then the drums from the ends of episodes of East Enders played, coming from nowhere.

Then the Shazam Family ran off toward the High-Speed Mission Yacht just before it was risen from the ground by a giant propeller fitted by Trigon.

“You will never defeat me, Marvel!” said Trigon from the yacht. “You are just a man!  But I am a god!”

Then Trigon walked down to the yacht’s bunker, where Raven was.  She was holding a phone, but quickly hid it when she saw her father coming.

“It is time to bring out the demon in you!” boomed Trigon.

“Never!” retorted Raven.

Steed, Cathy, Mother and the rest of The Avengers were still enjoying their party in their space shuttle.

Down on Earth, Franco Tailor had put people who forget their children into Room 101.

The Avengers stepped out of their spaceship into hell.

Clary appeared behind them.  “Um… Where are we?” she asked.  “I was a stowaway on your ship…”

“Clary?” asked Cathy.  “Yes.” Replied Clary.  “So, you never actually explained why Cadmus were after you.”  “Oh, yeah.  I’m a Shadowhunter.  You don’t know what that is.  Right. Anyway, I have this book.  If I draw something in it, I can make it real.”

“That’s very useful.” Said Cathy.

Barry appeared out of nowhere.  “Um… Where are we?” he asked.  “I was a stowaway on your ship… I felt like partying after all that time travel.”

“Flash?” asked Steed.  “Yes.” Replied Barry.  The Avengers, Flash and Clary all randomly decided to look up.  And a good thing too, because that was when they saw the high-speed mission yacht being flown by Mordax and the old members of TODE.  Then they saw strange versions of Alfred, Meowywhite and David Vincent flying around it trying to find a way in.

Back with Trigon and Raven, Trigon was torturing her to bring out her dark side, when Constantine appeared.

“Constantine!” boomed Trigon.  “You cannot stop me this time!”  “We’ll see about that, mate.” Replied Constantine, preparing his floating magic symbols.

“You cannot defeat me because I am a god!”  The Flash just about managed to phase into the yacht at this moment, at the same time the Shazam family worked out that they needed to use the Speed of Mercury to get in.  “Oh really?” said Captain Marvel.  “Then it’s a good thing we’ve got a god-killer.” Continued Barry.

Raven had used her phone to call the Justice League of America.  Specifically, Cyborg.  Apparently, you can talk to people on Earth from hell if you have a phone.  Perhaps this was because she was still alive, rather than there after dying.  Anyway, she had warned Cyborg about Trigon but then said they had it covered.  After that, she’d warned him about Cadmus.

Cyborg had promptly warned his friend Oscar Kingsley (yes, *that* Oscar Kingsley).  Oscar, who was now a celebrity because of being Mouseman in Soton, headed quickly to the Room 101 studio.

There was no one presenting it, so he sat on a chair, then said to himself, “I’d like to put Cadmus in please.”  Then he ran over and sat on the hosts’ chair, and said, “I’m going to put Cadmus into Room 101!”  He pulled the lever for the seat he was on, and every member of Cadmus tumbled down to hell… right in front of The Avengers.

Mal was relieved as it turned out that the Superlative Seven and the Secrets Broker were members of Cadmus.  However The Avengers were not so relieved.  They were outnumbered.  Until all the wombles appeared from nowhere.  “We were stowaways on your ship.” They all explained at once, and then joined in the fight against Cadmus.

The Shazam Family and The Flash were now fighting Trigon while Raven did the commentary.  Clary, at the same time, was desperately trying to draw an accurate picture of her dagger so that she could help with The Avengers vs Cadmus fight. Anyway, Raven was doing commentary.

“And The Flash throws a punch at Trigon!  It doesn’t affect him!  Trigon swings his axe!  The Flash dodges!  Captain Marvel tries using his lightning!  It doesn’t affect Trigon either!  Meowymarvel tries running at hyper speed into Trigon!  Still no affect!  Trigon swings his axe at her, but she dodges!  Trigon swings his axe a circle around him, they all dodge! Captain Marvel Jr goes in for a proper fist-to-fist combat fight!  He’s using the Strength of Hercules!  It’s working! Trigon is weakened!  Oh no, here comes Mordax!  Oh, it’s fine, he’s been knocked dead by Meowymarvel!  Now Captain Marvel, Meowymarvel and Captain Marvel Jr are all punching Trigon at super speed!  He’s down on his knees!  They’re all using their lightning, super speed, and every other battle power they have at the same time!  Trigon is bleeding orange blood!  It’s not blue, he’s not royal!  Trigon lashes back!  He punches The Flash out the window!  The Hellblazer has joined the fight!  Here comes Ghost Rider to help, along with three motorbike-riding wombles!  But here come TODE!  It looks like Trigon and TODE are winning!  But hang on, no, the lightning and chain combined are weakening Trigon severely!  All of TODE are dead!  Constantine’s ushering a spell!  The Shazam family and Ghost Rider are doing really well!  This is an interesting fight, especially since it’s in hell! Why am I rhyming?  Was it just good timing?  Oh, yes it was indeed!  He comes someone we all need!  It isn’t another woman man… But here comes the demon, Etrigan!”

Etrigan had indeed arrived.  He leapt in through the window of the yacht, and with the help of the others, struck Trigon dead.  “That was fun.” Said PMW.  “More than fun!” said Bungo.  “Dangerous!” said Shansi happily.  “Now, how are we going to get out of hell?” asked Captain Marvel.  “Easy.” Said Constantine, and before they knew it, all The Avengers, Clary, the wombles, Constantine, the Shazam Family, Ghost Rider, the Meowys, The Flash and Etrigan were standing in Trafalgar Square.

“Don’t worry, everyone!” said Constantine.  “I permanently locked the gates of hell. No-one’s ever going to be getting out of there again.  And with Mordax gone, he can’t hypnotise anyone into presenting Room 101 anymore. We’re all good.  Except for one thing.”

Constantine walked up to Vincent and demanded, “How are you pure of heart?  You tortured Bruce Wayne for three months!  You killed a loada innocent people!  What kind of trick did you use?”

“There’s no trick.  All I did was only to try to inhabit Earth, because my planet is dying. As for the torturing and killing… I will say one thing: TODE.”

“Well that’s convenient, ain’t it?”

“Wait!  I don’t have a way to tell whether he’s lying or not!  Don’t come over here so I can give it to you!” said a voice.  Everyone turned their heads to see Hermione.

“It isn’t a lie drug!  Don’t get him to say, ‘I am evil’, and if it comes out as ‘I am not evil’, then he isn’t evil, but if he manages to say it, then…. Ahh, I can say everything properly.  I don’t wonder when this wears off?  Anyway, it isn’t a lie drug.”

Constantine took the lie drug from her and poured it down Vincent’s mouth.  “I am evil.” Said Vincent.  “So you’re not evil?” said Constantine, surprised.  “No!” said Vincent, relieved.  Constantine turned to look at Hermione.  “So why did you drug yourself?” he asked.  “I didn’t need to find out who I loved.  I wasn’t rather surprised about the answer, actually.  I’m not going over to tell him now.”  Hermione walked away.

Hermione arrived at a park bench.  Harry, Ron and Ginny were sitting on it.  Harry had gained his emotions back now that TODE were gone, and the three of them were anticipating the answer.  Hermione played some suspense music from a quiz show on her portable radio, then said, “Please don’t remember that the lie drug hasn’t worn off yet. Whatever I tell you in a minute won’t be the opposite of the truth.  And the thing which isn’t the opposite of the truth is… I don’t love Harry.”

“WHAT!” shouted Ron and Ginny at the same time.  “I’m not sorry.” Said Hermione, “But it’s not just how it is.  Though, there isn’t still one more decision to be made.  Who don’t YOU love, Harry?”  “I don’t know.”  “Here, don’t have some of this drugged milk.  It isn’t very useful.”  “Okay.” Harry gulped down the rest of the milk. “Now, don’t try saying ‘my true love is Ginny’ and then don’t try saying ‘my true love is Hermione.”  “My true love is Ginny.” Said Harry.  Ginny almost cried because this meant she wasn’t his true love.  “My true love isn’t Hermione.” Said Harry.  “Well that wasn’t unexpected.” Said Hermione.  Ron and Ginny went off in a huff in different directions, then immediately ran back.  “We need to divorce…” said Ron to Hermione and Ginny to Harry at the same time. “Not fine by me.” Said Harry and Hermione.

Teresa Lisbon was reading Katy’s diary.  Since Katy had been locked in hell, she was declared dead.  Teresa was surprised to be reading reasons why Katy wanted to be queen. Most of them were strange, insane reasons, but the last one was very intriguing.  “Now what’s this about a key?” she said to herself.