TRP: Goro, Hansel, Luci, and Raef (Az's Resurrection)

**LINA**

[Setting: Day 267. On board the ship to the Sanctuary.]

Goro's throat was raw and his eyes stung from crying, but he
made sure to splash enough cold water on his face to get rid of most of the
redness before he went to visit Raef. Raef didn't need to see that shit. Goro
didn't need to fucking make this about himself.

He knew he looked like shit, anyway. He remembered this
feeling: the heaviness and drag, deep in his bones. The way his heart felt like
it was fluttering every now and then, too weak to keep up with him. The
indefinable sickness. Goddamn. How the hell had he tolerated this for so long?

He knocked on the door to Raef's cabin, and waited.

**MINK**

After they had returned to the ship, after they had set
sail, after...after...the door clicked closed, locking him in the room, and he
laid down on the bed.  Time slipped by
Raef in spurts, torn between waking and dreaming and something that was neither.  When it was neither he was happiest.  He wasn't chased by the echoes of screams or
the visions of red lightning.   They
dissipated when that neither came.

When the knock came at the door, he stopped twisting the
molten metal between his fingertips and glanced over.  He had half a thought to tell them to fuck
off, but he didn't know if they'd give a damn and he didn't want to fight.

"Come in," he said as he looked back to the
ceiling.

**LINA**

Goro tried the door handle. Pff. He'd never understand people
who just left themselves vulnerable like that, open to the whole world. Or the
people on the ship, at least.

He stepped inside and shut the door behind him, resisting
the urge to lock it himself. It'd be creepy.

He walked to Raef's bedside and stopped there, staring down
at him. Raef looked about as shitty as Goro felt.

**MINK**

He followed Goro's steps from the corner of his eye.  He didn't expect him - or anyone - but, he
supposed, Goro was a good fuckin' person to have visit.

"Need anything?" he asked, looking to Goro for a
moment before looking back up at no spot in particular.

**LINA**

Weird thing to fuckin' ask, but... the hell else did you say
to someone who came to visit you, unannounced, right after your husband died?

Goro looked up at the ceiling and squeezed his eyes shut.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Feel one emotion, gotta feel the rest, that was what he kept
telling himself. That was why this kept happening to him.

"I'm, uh." He swallowed hard, and when he was sure
all the tears had been sucked back into his head, he looked down at Raef again.
"I'm sorry about--about--"

**MINK**

Exhaustion crept through him, thin tendrils crawling slowly
out from the heaviness in his chest.  He
didn't know what to say - what to do.  He
knew he needed to say something; he could hear the tightness in his words just
as he saw the steady gaze up to the ceiling.

It was amazing at what a ceiling could do.

Raef inhaled softly, swallowed down the painful lump, and
said, "...thank you." Maybe he should've reached out as well. Maybe
squeeze Goro's arm or hand.  Instead he
kept playing with the necklace.

**LINA**

"There's nothing I can do for him, without a
body," Goro blurted out. Oh, real fuckin' tactful, Brother Goro. "I
mean, there's nothing anyone can do."

Except for... there was that legendary spell, True
Resurrection. That could bring fuckin' anyone back. But Goro had never met
anyone who could cast it.

**MINK**

Raef stopped playing with the ornament, wrapping his hand
tightly in a fist.   The thought had
crossed his mind to ask, but...well...Goro had told him 'no' before.  For a moment anger danced in until it was
washed away once more.

"It's okay," he said as he made himself sit up,
sliding backwards until his back was against theow headboard.  He made himself let go of the necklace.
"...anything else?" Rude, pissy, but he was tired and he didn't want
to be told the same thing he already knew.

**LINA**

Goro's mind was sluggish. It took him a second to realize
why Raef was asking that, and he remembered he hadn't made the other half of
his fucking point.

"I mean, there's nothing I can do... for Griffin."
He reached inside his robe, and pulled out the Leech. He held it up in the air
for Raef to see.

**MINK**

Before Raef could ask what Goro was goin' on about, Goro
pulled out a wand - a fuckin' familiar wand.
He stared at it.  His jaw clenched
and his hands tightened.  He had asked
for this after they crawled out of that dungeon, Az's jaw in his hand and Gavi
preparing to bury Ezra.

His throat burned and his eyes stung.   He wanted to say yes.  He could have Azrael again.  Just for a few years.  A little longer of not being alone, of not
feeling that all consuming hollowness and anger.

But...but...fuckin' Goro...and he was tired of losing
people.  So very fuckin' tired.

"Put it away." The words came out choked, hoarse.
"...you don't--don't need to fuckin' die."

**LINA**

"I won't," he said immediately. "I mean--I
might. But... Luci. We'll have her there. She can revive me."

Well. If she fucking agreed to do it. He realized he was maybe
going about this whole thing a little backwards. Making promises dependent on
another person who wasn't even there.

**MINK**

It took him a second to remember Luci - Hansel's other kid -
shit, he was tired.  She was a cleric and
if she was there...

...just a few more years... A few more to get his shit
together.  To say, I love you.  To say everything he couldn't say before they
were taken from him in a blaze of fire and a flash of lightning.

"...you'd do that?" he asked, drawing his gaze
from the bed to Goro's face.

**LINA**

Goro set his jaw. "Sure fuckin' would."

**MINK**

Raef grave a jerky sort of nod before he covered his face
with his hands, the tears spilling as he squeezed his eyes shut.  He felt like shit - Griffin had just died and
he was agreeing to let Goro risk his life to bring back Az, all because he was
fuckin' selfish and he couldn't handle the pain.

Because...because he was fuckin' weak.

**LINA**

Goro let out a noisy breath. Thank fuckin' god.

He could do something. He couldn't bring Griffin back, but
he could do... the next best thing, or whatever. He could be worth the fucking
air he breathed, once again.

God. Yeah. That was how he'd tolerated feeling like this for
so long. It was knowing that he was fucking earning his keep, at last. Saving
Mishka and Joan. And now... Raef's husband. But really, also, Raef, in a way.

He took a few steps back from the bed. Fuck.

Bringing me back with the wand, that wasn’t about me, Mishka
had said. Nah, fuck, he didn't want to think about that again. He didn't want
to remember that. Where the hell was it coming from?

That was about you needing to punish yourself, or hurt
yourself.

Goro dragged his fingers through his hair and rubbed his
face. Nah. Fuck. Nah. It's about making things right, he'd told Mishka, and it
had been fucking true. Was even more true now, since if he died, he wouldn't
stay dead. Simple. Nothing to it. Everyone came out a winner, 'cept Griffin.

"Good, uh, I'll uh, go find Luci." And Hansel,
just 'cause he wanted... someone to hug him, and tell him he was doing alright.
Yeah, he was that fucking needy. What would Hansel think of this whole plan,
though? Would he object? He couldn't. It was too fucking reasonable. Having
Luci there would make all the difference. Hansel would see that. He'd agree.
He'd agree so much, he might not even see what Goro was so fucking scared of,
and he'd say, It's alright if you change your mind, but he'd say it in a way
that already sounded disappointed.

"I'll go. Uh. Yeah." Goro gave a little wave and turned
around, stumbling toward the door.

**MINK**

As Goro stumbled away, Raef reached out to catch his
wrist.  He could tell Goro to not do
this, not risk it.  He could tell Goro it
wasn't worth.  He could tell Goro to
forget everything.  The words were there,
the fear was there, but they died in his mouth as he held tight to Goro's
wrist.

"...thank you..." he whispered, releasing
Goro.  He was being a coward - he should
do this on his own.  He should look to
Goro or Hansel or Jasper or someone to help him claw his way back out of the
abyss.

His hand dropped to the bed.

But he was selfish.

**LINA**

Goro muttered something incoherent and slipped out of the
cabin, more relieved now he didn't have to unlock the door with shaking hands.

He shoved the wand back inside his robes and moved a few
doors down to the room Luci had been staying in. When he knocked, there was no
answer. Fuckin'. Now he had to go crawling all over the ship, half losing his
shit, trying to find her. Maybe it'd be a chance to calm himself down, in the
meantime.

Yeah. Sure.

After circling around the main deck to no avail, he found
her in the galley. She was with Hansel, who was sitting next to her with an arm
around her, and had successfully managed to feed her judging by the empty bowls
sitting on the table in front of them.

Goro came to a stop on the other side of the table, hugging
himself and trying unsuccessfully not to look like a nervous, jerky weirdo.
"Uh. Need... need Luci. For a thing."

**IZZY**

Luci stared at him silently. Her eyes were glassy and
pink-rimmed, and she was partially curled around her staff for comfort, leaning
into Hansel.

Hansel gave him a puzzled, concerned look, straightening a
bit. "Someone hurt? S'goin' on?"

**LINA**

"Um. Not... not yet." He thought of that deal he
had with Hansel. Say the fucked-up shit in his head, get hugged. Real fucking
simple. Nothing to it. No downside. But instead, he just looked at Luci.
"You alright?"

**IZZY**

"No," she said flatly. "My brothers might be
dead."

"Hey.  They're
fine. It's gonna be fine." Hansel beckoned Goro around the table to his
other side. Not yet. The fuck did that mean. "Hey. C'mere, ahuv. Sit down.
I'll get you something to eat."

**LINA**

Goro shook his head violently. "No time." Well,
actually, there was. There was plenty of fucking time. More like he just wanted
to get it over with. "Hey, Luce, you got enough magic to revive someone if
they die?"

He figured he might as well cut to the chase. He couldn't do
anything about her brothers maybe being dead, and he was in the same goddamn
boat. (Hah. Literally.) Luci wouldn't appreciate platitudes. Waste of breath.

**IZZY**

She blinked and sniffled, a couple fresh tears running down
her cheeks. She nodded, though, as Hansel straightened more, half-standing but
keeping a hand on her. "Fuckin' what?"

**LINA**

Goro jerked his head toward the exit. "Come with me,
then. I'm gonna resurrect Raef's husband with my broken wand. First husband,
not Griffin. Might kill me, but you can bring me back."

**IZZY**

"What?" Hansel said again.

Luci kept just staring at him, thinking.

**LINA**

Goro pulled the Leech out of his robes and held it up in the
air, like that would answer the question.

**IZZY**

"I'm not fuckin' asking how, I --." Hansel stopped
himself. He wasn't asking why, either. He wasn't really asking anything.

He didn't have ... anything.

If it was just some fucking person, he'd argue that it
wasn't worth the risk, because fuck that person, and fuck the Leech, too, but
it was Raef. Raef, who'd lost his husband. Again. And they couldn't do anything
for Griffin, because the red lightning had fucking wiped him out of existence.

And he knew the fucking wand was important to Goro. He'd
seen Goro looking sickly again, like he had before, and not said anything
because he thought that after seeing that happen to someone, Goro probably just
... needed the Leech on hand, to comfort himself. Needed to have it as an
option. He hadn't realized the fucker had a plan with it, or ...

Well, he wouldn't've fucking done anything different. He
couldn't take it away. Couldn't do that to Goro.

Couldn't argue, either. Just stood there and fucking hated
it.

Luci wiped her eyes on her sleeve and shifted to stand up.
"All right."

Hansel kind of wished she'd refused. Surely Goro wouldn't
fuckin' go through with it then. He fucking might, anyway, though, god knew, so
this was better. It was ... fine. Right. Luci would just bring him back, if
anything happened. (Anything. It wasn't anything, it was if he fucking died. If
Goro died. It would be fine, though. It'd be fine.)

Luci circled around the table in one direction, and Hansel
went the other way, more quickly, to grab Goro in a hard hug that lifted him
onto his tiptoes. "I'm gonna fuckin' be there," he said quietly.
"If ..." He made himself say it. "If it fucking backfires, I'll
be there when you wake up. It'll be okay."

**LINA**

He'd thought Hansel's hug would make him feel better, but he
just fucking felt like crying, now. It was stupid. He had a solid plan. It was
gonna be fine.

Unless for some fucking reason it wasn't. But Goro couldn't
think of any reasons, so there was no use dwelling on it.

Still, he let himself hide his face in the crook of Hansel's
neck for a moment. "Mm."

When Hansel put him down, Goro grabbed his hand and squeezed
it tight, and didn't let go of it the whole way down to Raef's room. He used
his free hand to knock again.

**MINK**

The door closing forced Raef to stand up.  He stumbled as he climbed off the bed, caught
himself, turned, and he made the bed.  It
wasn't a mess; he had climbed on it without touching the covers, but the covers
were crinkled from where he'd lain.

Then he gently, tenderly, pulled out the jaw that was
resting within the pack resting beside the bed.
He unwrapped the piece of burnt blanket he had placed around it before
setting the bone on the pillow.

Raef stroked down the curve of bone before he shielded his
eyes again and swallowed a sob.

By the time the knock came he had composed himself
some.  He still felt tired, probably
looked like shit with bags under eyes and little color in his face, but he
wasn't crying.

He opened the door to let Goro back in, gaze flickering over
Hansel when he saw him.  He hadn't
expected him - he should've.  Goro and
him were engaged.  He needed to get them
somethin'.

Raef closed the door once everyone was in and he gave Hansel
an apologetic look.  If Goro died, it was
his fault.  He walked back to the bed,
near the head.

**LINA**

Goro barely glanced at Raef. His eyes locked on the jawbone
instead, sitting on the pillow, and he stared at it while fingering the cracks
in his wand.

He should look at Raef, though. Raef was the one he was
doing this for, not that bone. Goro made himself look Raef in the eye, though
it wasn't easy, with the amount of pain he was in. He looked half dead himself.
And Goro could fix that. Not all the way--couldn't save Griffin. But he could
help, some.

He glanced at Luci next. "Ready?" She nodded.
Hell, that girl was probably born ready.

Hansel was holding onto him like he might fuckin' pop out of
existence. Goro guessed he might've done the same, if their positions had been
swapped. Alright, maybe it was a little harsh of him to march into a room,
announce he was going to use the suicide wand and needed Luci's help, and
completely fucking ignore all of Hansel's questions and objections.

He squirmed loose enough to turn around and hug Hansel back.
"S'fine," he said. "Luci's got it." It was a lot more
dangerous the last couple times I did this, and it still turned out alright, he
thought, but had the decent sense not to say.

Then he pulled away and sat down heavily on the bed, eyes on
the jawbone again.

**MINK**

Goro looked horrible - sick and tired and...there was too
much there - but he sat on the bed and Raef watched him do it.  He didn't stop him, didn't look away.  He just waited with his heart thudding wildly
and his breath hitched.

**LINA**

Hansel sat with him on the bed, holding onto him still.
Apparently if Goro was gonna die, he was gonna do it in Hansel's arms, which...
seemed more grim than poetic to him, but Hansel had watched Taavit and then
Mishka die, so if anyone was qualified to say how this kinda thing should go,
Goro figured it was Hansel.

Huh. That was fuckin' awful. Goro was gonna have to give him
some real good hugs when this was over.

There was a chance they were all getting worked up over
nothing. 'Bout a fifty-fifty chance, in fact. Maybe they'd all have a good
laugh, in a minute here.

Well. Probably not. Whatever.

He lifted the wand and paused, seeing the Ring of Mind
Shielding on his right hand. He didn't know if that would fuckin' complicate
things, or not. Didn't want to make Luci's job any harder than it had to be. He
worked it off hastily and shoved it in his pocket.

He remembered how it had felt the last two times he'd done
this. The life draining out of him rapidly, thoughts racing through his head,
regret and satisfaction trying to outdo each other. And then, just before the
end, it had stopped, leaving him barely awake but still breathing, and
bewildered.

He closed his eyes and hit the wand against the bone. And he
knew, fucking immediately, that something was different this time. Could feel
it in his gut, and his blood, and his bones, and the terrible fucking pain in
his heart, sucking the breath right out of him.

On some level, he'd known beforehand, too. He never was the
kind of guy to get lucky three times in a row.

**COYOTE**

 Goro’s eyes rolled back in his head, fluttering shut, as the
last of the life sucked out of him. His body folded and collapsed back onto the
bed.

His heart gave one last, weak beat-- and then went still.

--

Goro floated in a blank, empty space. There was nothing
above him, below him, or anywhere around him, just soft and infinite blackness.

Then ground settled under his feet. He stood in limbo. There
were people around him. Men, women, and children. Some wandered; some carried
on soft, muffled conversations; some screamed or wept. Some looked like they
were waiting. Others looked like they had been here for centuries.

Then someone lightly touched his shoulder.

**LINA**

Well, shit.

Goro turned around to see who it was.

**COYOTE**

 A boy-- no, a girl? It was hard to tell-- stood in front of
him.

He looked young, couldn’t have been more than fifteen. The
boy was incredibly plain; he had the kind of face you could instantly forget
the moment you looked away from it. He stood about six inches shorter than Goro,
who towered over him like a lanky older brother.

He had a smiling, easy, affable look to him. He stuck his
hands in his pockets and looked up at Goro, raising his eyebrows.

The other people around them vanished, leaving them in the
soft empty black space again.

The boy checked his pocketwatch. The watch looked far too
fine for him, like something he’d stolen off a mark.

“You’re fucking early, dumbass," he remarked.

**LINA**

Goro gaped at the kid, his chin wobbling like he was trying
to say something. Didn't know fucking what, though.

He went straight down onto his knee and bowed his head.

**COYOTE**

 "Nothin'?" the boy said. "You're a lot more
talkative, normally."

**LINA**

"Uh," Goro said. Uh. Fuck's sake. "Yes, my
lord."

**COYOTE**

 “Ahaha. Yeah, get up, man.” The boy nudged Goro with his
boot. “I liked you better when you were alive.” He grabbed Goro’s arms and
tried to heave him up.

Then once Goro was up, he let go and took a step back. He
was holding the Leech. He spun it around between his fingers.

“Cut this shit out,” he said fondly, and put the Leech in
his pocket.

**LINA**

Oh, fuck. "Yes, my lord." Oh, god. What a fucking
idiot. He probably didn't have long to be here, and it seemed like they both
knew it. This was fucking incredible, though. He should die more often.
"Hey, quick question. How do I kill Gruumsh?"

**COYOTE**

 "Honestly, that's not even our biggest problem right
now," Mask said. Then the landscape around Goro shifted.

A black shape formed, blacker than the void around them: an
enormous, glimmering dragon. A golden light shone inside its chest, slowly
getting stronger. Then once the light was strong enough, the dragon reached up,
its jaws opening around Mask to devour him.

Mask blew Goro a kiss. "Say hi to Lark and Azzie for
me."

And then Goro woke up.

**IZZY**

Hansel knew when the life drained out of Goro, because he'd
felt it before. Wasn't that he stopped moving, or stopped breathing. Just that
something ... left him. Like it had left Taavit, already unconscious slumped on
Hansel's shoulder, somehow going more still and silent. Ending. Never grinning
at him or holding him, never laughing, never murmuring his name. Never.

It was happening again. It was happening again.

And he was powerless, no matter how many times he threw
himself and his shield between Goro and danger, he was still fucking useless.
Hadn't saved Taavit, hadn't saved Mishka, hadn't saved Goro. Couldn't fucking
do a goddamn thing.

Somewhere in the back of his head, he thought, Mask, you
have to give him back to me, I need him more, I'll fucking gut you if you keep
him, but all he managed was a wordless distressed cry and a look towards Luci.
Had to rely on his teenage daughter to help him, his baby. So fucking useless.

She didn't waste time. Her bedside manner was nonexistent,
but it didn't matter -- she silently pressed her hand against Goro's chest, and
Hansel could feel the thrum of energy clear into his own chest, willing Goro's
heart back to motion. Whatever had slipped out of him was drawn back, gently,
firmly, resettled where it was supposed to be -- here, right here, in Hansel's
arms, where Hansel could hold onto it and protect it and ...

He couldn't do that, though. All he could do was gasp and
cry, squeezing his eyes shut and fighting it down because he had to keep his
shit together, he had to make sure Goro was really okay, he had to keep telling
Luci that their boys were safe even if he didn't know if it was true, he had to
do something for Raef and he didn't even know what.

.

Luci was competent. She'd already pulled one of Hansel's
healing potions out of her robes to offer Goro once he was conscious again. The
ones he'd made for her -- he'd tried to make them taste like chocolate chip cookies,
and the scent wafted out as she uncorked it and held it at the ready.

Hansel couldn't do shit. He just clung to Goro and grit his
teeth against the panic.

**COYOTE**

 The jawbone clattered to the floor. A flickering
silver-and-blue light swirled around it, raising it into the air.

The blue and silver ribbons spun around the jawbone,
attaching to it, forming a skull, then a skeleton, then muscles and tendons,
then skin, then a face. Then the ribbons came unraveled, disappearing into
sparks of light.

A naked, fully-formed orc dropped onto the floor, eyes
closed, breathing deeply, like he was still back at home in bed years ago. Like
he'd never woken up from sleep that night.

**MINK**

For a heart shattering moment, nothing happened.  Goro slumped against Hansel and Luci touched
him, fixing him, and Hansel held him.
Raef thought he should reach for Hansel, but he didn't know what to say
or what to do.  His fingers inched over
to squeeze Hansel's shoulder.  Still, he
watched the jaw.

Nothing happened.
Maybe it had failed.  The hope,
that one bright spark, began to fade then the jaw rose up.  It was beautiful, the magic lighting up the
road before Az - his Az - dropped heavily to the floor.

The world swam dizzingly and now Raef wasn't holding onto
Hansel to comfort him, he was holding on to keep from falling to the
ground.  When the cabin cleared he still
dropped to his knees.

His hands shook as he reached out to stroke down Azrael's
cheek, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath.  There were leathery scars littering his body
now, but it was still Az.  Still his
Azrael.

Tears spilled as he wrapped his arms around the still
form.  He struggled to drag him onto his
lap before he dropped his forehead to his husband's.  Sobs shook his body as he held him.
"...ahuvi..." he whispered over and over again as he wept.

**LINA**

Goro woke feeling... oddly peaceful, considering how
disturbing that parting vision was. Everything fucking hurt, though. His whole
ribcage felt cracked, even though there was nothing that would've caused
that--must just be his heart. Stirred back to life, but barely.

He smelled... chocolate chip cookies? Confusing, until he
remembered that's what Hansel's healing potions smelled like. Fuckin' nuts. Who
the hell made potions that tasted like cookies? Goro loved him so fucking much.
So intensely, it made his chest hurt even worse. Made him more lightheaded.

Hansel was holding him. Crying. Oh, no no. Goro cracked his
eyes open enough to squint up at him, and raised a hand to brush his cheek.
"Shh, shh, 's'okay. I'm here. Ain't leaving you."

He had, though, for a minute there. He had. Fucking awful.

But... it was for a reason. Had it worked? He lifted his
head, neck muscles stiff and aching like he'd been beaten within an inch of his
life. He saw Luci holding the potion out to him, and he grabbed at it clumsily,
tipping it up into his mouth while his eyes searched out Raef.

And... someone else. Someone new.

Holy shit.

Goosebumps erupted on his arms and neck. He'd done that.
He'd just made a fucking person from a jawbone.

Not anymore, though. Cut this shit out. Ugh.

Raef's husband was unconscious. Goro felt the potion going
to work, but the sight of Raef sobbing wasn't doing anything to help his
heartache. "Help 'im," he pleaded to Luci, waving a hand at the guys
on the floor.

**IZZY**

Hansel didn't react at all. Couldn't stop crying long
enough, couldn't catch his breath.

Luci had backed away the moment the potion left her hand,
trying to escape out the door, but she hesitated at Goro's flapping hand.
"Resurrection spells ..." she started, but it didn't really need a
dry explanation. She understood that much.

"He'll ... be okay," she said, more to Goro than
to Raef, because looking at the intensity of Raef's emotions was too painful
right now. She couldn't look at Hansel, either; she looked at the floor, and
tried to not think about Jonn and Roddy. "I can't do anything else. He'll
wake up. He just needs to rest."

She said the last few words as she stepped back, bumping
against the door, then spinning to get out quickly.

**MINK**

He'll wake up.

Raef removed one hand to scrub at his face. "...th-thank
you..." he just managed to get out before Luci was gone.  He squeezed Az's arm as he sat up.  The tears hadn't stopped, but Luci said he'd
be fine.  She said he'd wake up.  He just needed to rest.

But Hansel...Hansel was still crying.

Raef kept one hand on his husband as he reached over with
his other to slide his fingers down Hansel's arm and to his hand.  He twined their fingers together, squeezing.  He knew the panic, the pain.  It tore at his own heart still.

"I'm sorry," he breathed out, making himself look
up at Hansel.

**IZZY**

Hansel ground his teeth. He was trying to fucking ... stop.
Settle. He was getting a little closer because Goro had spoken, demonstrably
wasn't gone, even if -- even if -- wasn't true, what he'd said -- had been
gone, had left, been another empty body slumped against Hansel's. (Again. It'd
happened again.)

It was a fucking nightmare, except he was awake; couldn't
roll over and squeeze Goro to his chest and reassure himself that Goro was
okay, that the worst hadn't happened, because he was already squeezing Goro to
his chest and it wasn't helping, because the worst had already happened, and it
could happen again, it could happen any fucking time, and Goro would make it
happen and he'd leave Hansel.

The white-hot panic was cooling, but the dread that laced
through his ribs like roots and choked out his heart wasn't fuckin' going
anywhere.

He could breathe a bit more, though. He kept holding onto
Goro, but he squeezed Raef's hand back, too, hard at first and then realizing
he should let up or he'd break something -- it gave him something different to
focus on. He was being fucking selfish. Had Goro, and had Mishka, too, had them
both at once, and Raef wasn't getting Griffin back. Almost hadn't gotten
Azrael. Hansel should fucking leave him alone, not sit in his bed and bawl over
someone who wasn't even dead.

Elbow still hooked tightly around Goro, he dragged the heel
of that hand up to shove at his eyes, trying to make the tears fuckin' stop.
"S'okay." He would've apologized, but he couldn't get any other words
out. Shame was creeping up to replace the panic.

**LINA**

Shit. Something was... actually really fucking wrong. Hansel
was too upset. "Ahuv," Goro said, squeezing him to hopefully get some
sense into him. "Ahuv, I'm fine. It's... it's over. Look." He pointed
at Raef's husband, still unconscious on the ground. "Look what I did. And
I'm back, too. It all worked out." Two lives for the price of one. Good
fuckin' deal, that.

**MINK**  2:38 AM

Hansel squeezed tight before relaxing, but Raef still held
Hansel's hand.  He wanted to hug Hansel,
but he was holding Goro tight and he didn't want to leave Azrael on the floor
alone.   He glanced down to his husband,
chest tightening.  It was surreal.  It had worked out...he had Azrael back, Goro
was back, but...but Griffin wasn't back.
Would never be back.

Raef bit his tongue hard as tears threatened to well up
again, the physical pain a better focus.

He squeezed Hansel's hand again. "...it'll be
okay..." He sniffed a little; he wasn't sure if it was a lie.  Even with Azrael here in front of him,
breathing and alive, he remembered him gone.
Remembered the years wandering, lost, alone, scared...pissed...
uncertain...

He took another breath and traced his free hand down the
side of Azrael's face.  The skin twitched
beneath his fingers, but the orc still didn't wake and the ghost of a smile
crossed Raef's face.

**IZZY** 9:33 AM

Hansel nodded hurriedly. It was already okay. It was all
fine. Over. Right. Fucking ... over.

Look what I did.

He should've fucking thought ahead. He knew what Goro could
do with the Leech and what it might do to him, and he knew what Luci could.
Knew it'd be fine, that there was no reason for it to not work out. He
should've just stayed out of the fucking room and paced until Luci brought Goro
back out, and held him then. Just had to fuckin' be there and feel it, like his
arms around Goro would change anything for anyone except to make him fucking
miserable, and make everyone else have to deal with his misery.

For god's sake, the person who'd just died and the person
who'd just lost their husband -- again -- shouldn't have to be fucking
comforting him.

So he nodded. He was fine. He had his shit together --
fucking crybaby child scared over nothing. He squeezed Raef's hand back and
unfolded himself a bit to awkwardly half kneel beside him, still half on the
bed to hold Goro, too, and hooked his arm around Raef's neck to pull him in
close without pulling him away from Az.

Felt like he should say something, but he didn't know what.
Just held him there for a moment, tight.

Then he let go and gently hefted Goro up with both arms to
carry him out of the room. He was sure the potion'd restored enough of Goro's
strength for him to be able to walk, but this was something Hansel could do,
something he could actually fucking accomplish. He could carry Goro to bed and
maybe get him to rest, for a bit. Maybe that counted for something.

**MINK**  10:25 AM

Raef folded into Hansel's embrace, gripping the side of his
shirt as he held him back.  Hansel was
warm, soothing.  Even panicking and
crying over Goro Hansel was still...Hansel.
Still a rock, still someone he could use to steady himself.

The hug broke and Hansel rose up with Goro.  His hand fell away to rest on Az's chest, leathery
and soft, as he watched them leave.  The
door closed behind them and he was alone - terribly alone - with Az.

He looked down as silence but for soft breaths filled the
air.  His heart tightened as he
soothingly stroked over Azrael's hair.
The silence was palpable and, for the first time that day, he felt
scared.

[End]

**MINK**  10:34 AM

Title: Leaving the Grove (Az's Resurrection) Summary: Goro
offers to bring Az back, Raef agrees.
Goro dies in the process, but Luci saves him.   Azrael is alive and so is Goro.