Corruption 2: The Story Nobody Expected

The content of this page is relevant to the Alpha-Archaic Timeline.

## Chapter 0 - Weight

“Watch out for black holes” was the last thing Jast remembered saying that day. That wasn’t important: the day went just fine, despite everything, and Revelian took off with Karelia without incident. Too tired to even muster the strength to say goodbye to his friends, Jast skipped on the celebrations, wishing Zachary and the others a farewell with a sluggish wave of the hand.

Stepping through the door of his familiar home, he lobbed his main anchor, Regulus, to the corner of the room. At one point, it may have held itself upright against the wall, but days of sudden adventuring and nights of sudden post-adventuring meant that those formalities were just too much of a hassle. It only made sense for Regulus to start making a cozy indent for itself, ready to be grabbed at a moment’s notice.

Jast squinted, sighed, and loafed out on the nearest chair. He caught a glimpse of his pet Icarus from the other room and nodded at him. Same old, same old.

He loved it.

He never put eloquently how much he loved it, and while the whole “end of the world” thing that seemed to happen once a week got a rise out of him, it was everything he could ask for: taking up arms beside his best friends, having a home and a found-family to return to, and - somehow - heading a company on another world. That part almost seemed like a footnote compared to the rest of it, but he didn’t know many other people who left home, hopped a couple of galaxies, and built up a booming business with their own hands. Granted, he didn’t know many other people before he came to Ludus... but he was sure it was an impressive feat anyway.

Revelian would return once Karelia was wherever she needed to be. Samuel would, no doubt, insist on celebrating at a restaurant, Zachary would oblige, and between the two of them, they’d convince Umbra to come along, and maybe Sauphara too. Lazro would have strong opinions on the matter, though whether they were favorable or not would be completely unpredictable. By morning, they’d have all different versions of the same story to tell one another, and the giddy excitement would fade by midday, where it’d be business as usual. The mild rush of chasing down and catching a monster, the pride of training it into a pet, the cramped boredom of their offices, the empty boredom of the floor meetings, the satisfaction of a job well done by the end of it.

His eye now shut completely, Jast felt the day’s weight lifting from his body. He felt the cool air of his home breezing gently past his face.

He didn’t hear the portal opening right beneath his anchor, or its fast drop into the unknown.

He didn’t see the yellow mark etching itself into his palm.

He didn’t feel the green tendrils rippling up his arms.

The only thing he thought, at that moment, was that he felt whole, and that nothing would ever pry him away from that.

And then he died.

## Chapter 1 - The Cut

Painful silence fell over the DeCurro residence. Only the tense breath of its guests and the low hum of Sauphara’s magic remained. Zachary, his face buried deep into his hands, glanced up from his seat. Samuel paced around the floor, arms crossed. Some of Jast’s pets crowded around their owner’s body.

Sauphara: ... It’s no good.

She motioned to the cut on Jast’s hand. It was a mark unfamiliar to any of them: a long stem shooting upwards, a blocky hook sprouting from its right side, and a circle at the top, with three additional lines breaking from the top-right of it. It was glowing, sporting a haunting yellow color.

Sauphara: Whatever this symbol is, it’s redirecting all of my healing. I’ve gotten most of the green roots off of his skin, but until one of us can figure out what this means, this might be all I can do.

Samuel: Tell me again why we can’t get everyone else? We’ve gotten close to losing people before. The more we have helping us, the better chance we have!

Zachary: It’s too early, and too much of a risk... I know we’ve been pushing our luck recently with our adventures, but if people find out about this - especially some of the people at work - things are going to get crazy. We’ll have to keep it between us. The fact that Lazro’s off trying to get his clothes back from Karelia might make everyone think we just haven’t returned yet.

Samuel: Alright... I trust us. We’ll figure something out.

He didn’t sound too sure of himself. Umbra shook her head.

Umbra: I’ve seen a lot of strange happenings, but this isn’t anything I recognize. You’re all sure that it’s not from this planet?

Zachary: Not where I’m from.

Samuel: No, not for me, either. And we’re sure it’s not Lodin?

Zachary: It could be... but Sauphara and Umbra checked on it before we got here, and it seemed to be having its normal, pleasant dreams.

Sauphara: Whatever this is, it at least gives us hope. Jast may be dead to us-

Everyone winced at that.

Sauphara: - but this seal is putting everything in his body on hold. My attempts at healing him, yes, but his death. If we can find a way to remove it, the revival will start up at once. It will be as though I began right as he first fell ill.

Umbra: When *did* he first get like this, anyway? He was fine yesterday.

Icarus: Sometime last night. I thought he was just falling asleep, I should have known something was wrong...

Zachary: Easy. It’s not your fault. I’m glad you got ahold of us when you did. You didn’t tell anyone else, though, right?

Icarus: Well...

Zachary: Oh no.

Icarus: N-not many! I know what kind of problems this news’d bring, even to some of the other pets... could you imagine if Squato heard about this?

Samuel: Oh god. \*shudders\*

Icarus: I only told two. Hankvi - he talks about him a lot here, holds a lot of respect for him - I figured he’d need to be one of the first to know. He didn’t seem like he’d be telling everyone, I think he might just be mourning in private...

Zachary: Ugh... that might put us in some serious trouble if we don’t talk to him first. People might get suspicious of him just suddenly taking a vacation!

Umbra: Wait, what? Do you not give him sick days?

Zachary: We give him plenty - he just never uses them. In any case - who else was there?

Icarus: Well, this one, Jast specifically mentioned...

Samuel: What?

Icarus: I mean- not recently! But... when he started going on adventures with you all regularly, he told me that if anything like this was to ever happen to him, to call up a... Delinius?

Umbra: Delinius?

Sauphara: Delinius?

Samuel: De-

Zachary: Yes, Delinius. He works at IDC in the legal department, he’s a fine guy... why him, though?

Icarus: I don’t know. I was just following his instructions. His *last* instructions... oh, geez...

He started to tear up.

Umbra: Hey! We’re gonna get him back, okay? I promise you.

Sauphara: That’s correct. This may be very unpleasant to deal with, but our only hurdle is that mark. It may take time, but we will find a way.

Zachary: Alright. We’ll have to be quick but stealthy about this. Samuel, can you run over and talk to Hankvi? Catch him up to speed, make sure he can keep a secret for now?

Samuel: Yep!

Zachary: Then I’ll try getting in touch with Delinius. Sauphara, do you mind waiting here in case anyone stops by?

Sauphara: I shall remain.

Umbra: What about me, Zach?

Zachary: You... well, I thought you might be better off heading home.

Umbra: What?! No way!! When Revelian was in trouble, Jast was right there with the rest of us trying to get him back. We’ve got to work together on this, especially if we’re trying to keep it a secret!

Zachary: I know! But... first of all, while I hope things won’t get dangerous, I don’t want to put you in harm’s way. And also, Revelian doesn’t even *know* about this yet - if he gets home and finds you’re not around, he’s gonna turn the whole planet upside-down making sure you’re safe!

Umbra: Don’t treat me like I’m helpless! Besides, can’t I just leave a note for him?

Zachary: I... maybe? Look, we know he’ll want to help when he gets here, and maybe he can tell us more about where to start looking with the symbol if he knows it, but historically, he’s... not the most covert guy. Sneaking up on an armed guard is one thing, but-

Umbra: Oh, would you forget about him for a moment? *I’m* saying that *I* want to help out, too. You’re not getting rid of me that easy. Tell me what I can do.

Zachary: Agh... I.. I don’t know! Do you think you could... try to find some more out about the symbol? Maybe there are some databases that might point us in the right direction? Just... something you can do back at Rev’s castle?

Umbra: I can try. I’ll start digging.

Zachary: Alright... and thank you. Sorry for that, I’m just trying to stay on guard... even if it doesn’t look like this is our usual adventure.

Sauphara: From everything I have seen so far, there hardly seems to be a “usual” for this group.

Samuel: Yeah, heha! It might look bad, but for once, nobody’s actively trying to kill us!

Umbra: That’s one way of looking at it...

Samuel: We’ll get this done in no time. Okay, I’m off to-

He felt something tug at the hem of his shirt.

Samuel: - uh?

He looked down to see one of Jast’s pets, Stompy, staring back at him.

Stompy: Mr. Cyan? Is he going to wake up?

Samuel: ...

Icarus picked her up and sat her on his shoulders.

Icarus: These are Jast’s friends, Stompy. They’re gonna go get him some medicine. Isn’t that right, guys?

He grinned at her, then turned to face Zachary, Samuel, and Umbra. His eyes were still damp with tears, and his smile faltering.

Zachary: ... Of course.

## Chapter 2 - Breestone

Despite it being his own company, Zachary had never spent much time in the legal sector of IDC. Any other day, he would have taken a deep breath before walking through those doors, then struggled to remember the names of everyone who greeted him. Today, he would have to do about the same, but also act as though he didn’t want to be there.

Zachary: Okay... I can do this. Gotta... channel my inner Revelian. “I hate paperwork. It sucks being here. I wanna punch a hole through someone’s skull...”

?: Uh. Good morning, Mr. Isles...?

Zachary: - gack!

He stumbled forward, then quickly converted his shock into a proper act. He arched his back, then grabbed at it with his arm, wincing.

Zachary: H-hey there! Sorry, I was just- ouch!- I was just... well, I guess I really don’t have an excuse, aheh.

Lucky for him, he happened to recognize her: it was Nat, who occasionally showed up to business meetings in Delinius’ stead.

Nat: Are you okay, Zachary?

Zachary: I’m not so sure. I just got back from a, uh, *business trip*...

Nat: Oh, say no more. From how that Lazro comes back from your “business trips” I can tell you’ll just be wanting your space. We have some ice in the mini-freezer and some bandages in the supply closet, if you need.

Zachary: Thank you, I think I’ll... help myself to those in a bit.

She nodded, then began to head for the doors.

Zachary: Actually, could I ask another favor?

Nat: Yes, what do you need?

Zachary: Do you know where Delinius is right about now?

Nat: Archive 43, down the hallway, sixth door on the left, starting on the fifteenth paper pile in about... a minute.

Zachary: Wow. Precise.

Nat: I do my best. Anything else?

Zachary: No, that’s all. Thank you!

Nat: You’re welcome, Zachary. Try stretching to your left!

Realizing his comedic lean, he let go of his spine, then gently readjusted his posture as she left. Checking if the coast was clear, Zachary paced down the hallway.

Zachary: Four... five... here we go.

He entered the room, closing the door behind him, before the lights went on. He didn’t have time to wonder how he didn’t realize that the lights were off before that point, but immediately turned around, eyes darting across the room. Pink stacks of paper stretched like columns to the roof, nearly, making the whole room feel like a maze.

Zachary: Talk about a fire hazard... I’m getting Zoras flashbacks.

He started following one of the “walls,” careful not to tip over any stacks, and began to walk further into the room. He stretched his neck around the corner and found a man: tall, light-orange skin, kneeling over a locked box.

Delinius: Right on schedule. Hello, Zachary.

Before Zachary could greet him, he opened the container. Inside was a jar full of dry twigs, a fruit-shaped capsule, and a curved club, all made from the same green, smooth material.

Delinius: My condolences. I’ve been asked to keep quiet about this ordeal until after the ceremony.

Zachary: Right. ... Ceremony?

Delinius: Oh, my apologies. I assumed you knew... Jast asked me to keep these items and perform a ritual for him should he pass away. I made sure to record all of the instructions for when the day came... though I could have never imagined it would come so soon.

Zachary: Do we... do we need to do it here?

Delinius: Of course not. I was hoping you would assist me in carrying some of these items to him. The box does not make for a very sturdy container, and I unfortunately only have two hands.

Zachary: Sure. But... listen. A couple of us... we think this isn’t permanent. We think he’s not really gone, and that we can bring him back. If he asked you to do all this, maybe it can help us figure it all out. Do you mind holding off on everything and just... having a look at the body?

Delinius: ... Hm.

He blinked for a bit, then grabbed the jar and the capsule.

Delinius: I must say, this day is proving to be quite the uphill-downvalley emotional pedalcart ride.

Zachary: I never took Jast for someone religious, anyhow... is this a Dwinian thing?

Delinius: Certainly not. It’s a custom from his planet.

Zachary: He never talked about his home planet... well, never said anything coherent about it, anyway. Maybe this can give us a lead.

Delinius: My thoughts exactly. Do you mind?

Delinius passed him the jar. He felt its smooth surface with his thumb, and caught a whiff of the pungent plants within. Delinius, meanwhile, shut the box and pushed it under a desk (miraculously) made entirely out of paper.

Zachary: \*sniffles\* What *is* this stuff, exactly?

Delinius: The material is breestone. A semi-precious gemstone believed to represent willpower, according to Jast. Native to his homeworld of Genoskaya, utilized for a mandatory burial rite. We shall leave behind the club - the “mire,” I believe he called it - as it won’t be serving our purposes. If there is a likely chance that we may recover Jast, I hardly believe that the tool for ferrying his essence into the next life is something we want to keep on us.

Zachary: Fair enough- aah- aaH- ACHOO!!

The wall of well-stacked documents before him rustled, with only the top leaflets drifting down to the floor.

Zachary: ... Well, that was close.

Saying this, he leaned back against a different wall of well-stacked documents, which did a lot more than rustle before collapsing into the most bodacious cowabunga-dude wave of pink papers the world had ever seen. Every stack that it touched followed suit, until Zachary was waist-deep in very important paperwork, and the room - smaller than he had originally assumed - was overtaken.

Delinius calmly waded his way to the door and forced it open.

Delinius: Well, I suppose I was long overdue for a vacation. After you, Zachary.

## Chapter 3 - Chicken Game

Hankvi: OUuuUUguuGuUgGHhhhh... \*HIC\* Y’know, Slamu.... Salamu.... Samule.... Sam, I \*HIC\* almost killed him once. \*HIC\* When we first met. Aughh, I’m gonna miss’im.... I can’t beli- \*HIC\* -lieve he’s gone.... \*sobs some more\*

Ecast came around with a box of tissues.

Hankvi: Th-thanks, Ecsat. Thanks both’you for \*HIC\* che-checking up on me....

Samuel said nothing, seated across from him, covering his mouth with his hand. He eyed the three emptied bottles of wine stationed by the base of a nearby trash can, and saw no cups or glassware in sight.

Samuel: No problem, Hank. But there’s... something you should probably know-

Hankvi: NOPE- \*HIC\* NoPe;; not yet.... gotta get it all.... out of my sys-system first....

Ecast whizzed a few laps around her owner, then yipped in alarm.

Samuel: Hm? What’s wrong?

Ecast was suddenly stationed by the window, pointing outside. It was his relative, Maxine - the only other Splationian working at IDC, she and Samuel had been close since childhood. With her many skills, she was one of the most valued workers at the company next to Hankvi, and because the two made such a good pair (perhaps not just in the office?), it was only inevitable that she would come to check up on him. And like Samuel, she was *fast,* even if not for the motorbike she was riding.

It was only Ecast’s sister, Cranjak, who was slowing Maxine’s arrival with her time-dilation powers from afar. At any other time, Samuel would’ve found the image of his friend riding across the land at the pace of a de-watered cavern fish quite funny, but for now, it just meant bad company.

Samuel: Uh oh.

Hankvi: Whuh-oh? \*smaller hic\*

Samuel: Er, uh, Hank! How about I give you some good news to cheer you up?

Hankvi: D’awww, th-thankssssamuel. Always the optimoom.... optic.... optometrist, huh?

Samuel: Great! Are you ready for the good news?

Hankvi: Y-

Samuel: JastmightnotbedeadbutwehavetokeepitasecretandMaxineisoutsideandshe’scominghererightnowandIneedhelpexplainingwhyyou’renotatwork.

Hankvi: ....

Samuel: Aheh....

Hankvi: Okay.

Samuel: wh

Hankvi: I’ll handle this. I’ll get the door.

Hankvi stood up, maintaining his posture perfectly, and made an effortless stride towards the exit... and then promptly passed out by the top of the stairs, falling down the whole spiral staircase.

Samuel: OUH-

Running after him, Samuel found that Ecast had already relocated the battered Hankvi to the ground floor, grabbing ice and wet towels for his wounds.

Samuel: It keeps happening... Hank, can you hear me?!

He snored in reply.

Samuel: How did he sleep through all that...? Whatever. I have to hide him somewhere before-

\*KNOCK KNOCK\*

Samuel and Ecast froze.

\*KNOCK KNOCK, BUT LOUDER\*

Samuel: If we stay quiet, maybe she won’t think anyone’s home.

Maxine: Hankie? I got your message this morning, I know you’re in there.

Samuel: *Hankie?* Heha!

Maxine: And I know you’re in there, too, Sammy. Your pet’s out here with me.

Samuel: \*sweats\*

Maxine: Can someone let me in? What’s going on here?

Samuel made a shooing motion towards Hankvi’s spread-eagled body, an Ecast noiselessly carted him off to some unknown area of the home. He gulped, then opened the door just a crack, poking a beady eye through it.

Samuel: Maxie! You’re not supposed to be here!

Cranjak then pushed her way through the door, cuddling up against Samuel’s ankles. Maxine walked in, cautiously, and immediately noticed that the foyer was in disarray.

Maxine: What in the name of-

Samuel: You’re, uh, early! Really early!

Maxine: I’ve never seen this place so messy. What am I early for?

Samuel: A surprise!

She raised an eyebrow.

Samuel: ... Yeah...

Maxine: A surprise for me? Does this have to do with Hank suddenly calling out of work this morning?

Samuel: Yes! Uh, no! Uh... kind of? It’s, uh, a surprise for both of you! It was... it was going to be, anyway...

Maxine: Uh-huh.

She started walking around the room, making note of the disheveled furniture and binged-on booze.

Maxine: It looks like a wild party happened here.

Samuel: That... was the cover! I forced Hank to get out of work and I told him I was throwing him a party at his house, and-

Maxine: ARE THOSE HIS HORNS?!?

She had her hands raised at her temples, staring at what were very obviously bits of Hankvi’s horns littering the steps.

Maxine: **ARE THEY CHIPPED?!?**

Samuel: CHIPS!! YES!! Haha!! Regular unhealthy chips, you know how Hank loves to eat those! Leaving crumbs all over the place, like on the stairs, and... in other places, like... other stairs...

Her breathing slowed to a less-frantic pace, and she took a seat at the foot of the stairs.

Maxine: So, you lied to Hankvi about a party to make him take a day off, and everything’s a mess, and there’s a surprise for me...?

Samuel: W-well...

Maxine: And you sent your pet outside to keep an eye on me?

Samuel: You see-

Maxine: The one with the *ability to slow down time on specific objects?*

Samuel: Aheh...

Maxine: *Like my bike, perhaps?*

Samuel: (Gotta think of something...)

Maxine: Samuel, you tell me right now what’s going on with my Hank, or else-

Samuel: *My* Hank...? That’s it! This was all a RUSE!

He raised a finger in the air triumphantly, striking a pose.

Maxine: ... Yes. Yes, I figured that one out. Thank you.

He then pointed directly at Maxine.

Samuel: This was a plot to get YOU to be more open about your feelings with Hank!! The whole time!!

Her face flushed.

Maxine: Excuse me?!

Samuel: That’s right!

He pounced onto a table, procured a deerstalker hat and bubble pipe, then continued:

Samuel: It didn’t take long for a world-class detective like myself to figure out that you and Hank both had feelings for one another! ROMANTIC feelings! That you’re not expressing honestly enough! So I told Hank I was throwing him a party, and then I told him that I knew you were going to come over to check on him, and then I’d force an intervention until you to talked it out more! And then... he got overwhelmed and fell down the stairs and is unconscious and also he was drinking a lot because he thought it was going to be an actual party and this really didn’t go out as planned. But you’re here now, and so is he, so this was a success!!

He bowed. Ecast applauded, then removed the accessories and returned them to their proper owners from six towns away.

Maxine: ... Wow.

Samuel: Phew...

Maxine: I don’t know what to possibly say to that.

Samuel: Me neither! How about we all go home about it?

Maxine: That sounds nice, but I have to get back to work- WAIT, DID YOU SAY HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS?!?

Samuel: Uh-

She grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him violently.

Maxine: WHERE IS HE?!?

Ecast, decidedly not moving faster than the speed of light, slowly opened up a broom closet in their view. A dozed-off Hankvi was collapsed in a pile on the floor, nose twitching from the dust.

Maxine and Samuel said nothing, their mouths hanging open.

The former eventually let go of the latter, lifted Hankvi up to the nearest couch (with assistance from Cranjak), and sat cross-legged on the floor, not taking her eyes off of him. A painful seventeen seconds of silence ensued.

Samuel: *Wellllll* it looks like you’ve got everything under control here so I think I’m gonna just-

Maxine: **Samuel. I can promise you that your behavior today will not be forgotten in any capacity.**

Samuel: Okay bye Maxie.

He and his pets left without another word.

## Chapter 4 - Digging

Cygnus loafed about on the plush rug in one room of Revelian’s castle, the stench of rotting junk food rising from unattended containers. Eyes fixed firm onto the monitor in front of her, she mashed the buttons of the controller with her remaining organic hand, grunting swears at the video game through her gritted and cigarette-bearing teeth.

Cygnus: Asshole thinks he can keep the high score just because he got kidnapped or died or whatever-

\*KNOCK KNOCK\*

Immediately, she swept the mix of un-food into a nearby wardrobe, ripped the console out of the TV and pushed it under a bed, and dusted herself off. It took her all of about two seconds. She cleared her throat, straightened her posture, and opened the door.

Cygnus: - Oh! I wasn’t expecting you back so soon, ma’am.

Umbra: Hello, Cygnus... huh. It smells like a wild party happened here.

Cygnus: Yes, I apologize - I was just about to clean up. Has Master Revelian returned?

Umbra: No, though I expect him shortly... there is a favor I’d like to ask of you, though. The library here - where does Revelian keep his section on languages, or anything to help decode symbols?

Cygnus: I don’t quite know off the top of my head, but I’m sure if you ask Zoras, she can lead you to it.

Umbra: Wonderful, thank you.

Cygnus bowed, then Umbra turned to walk away. Just then, however, Revelian’s faithful servant had an idea.

Cygnus: Actually, ma’am, there might be an easier option available to you.

Umbra: Oh?

Cygnus: Revelian has a coworker at IDC who is a linguistic expert. If you don’t find what you’re looking for in the library, I can call him up during his break. I’m sure he’d be happy to help.

Umbra: Hm... if it’s not a bother to him, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Keep me posted.

Cygnus: Will do.

Umbra: Oh, and Cygnus?

Cygnus: Yes, ma’am?

Umbra pulled the cigarette from Cygnus’ mouth.

Umbra: Not in the building. I know you’re not allowed to do that, at least.

Cygnus: ... Sorry.

Umbra left the room again, heading down the hall towards Zoras’ chambers. Cygnus waited until she was a fair distance away, then slobbed up the room to its previous state in a near-instant. She procured another cigarette to her lips and smirked while lighting it: yes, she was sure that the coworker would be happy to help her. She could picture the look on Revelian’s face watching his wife say her genuine thanks to her new friend.

“None problem,” he might reply...

Later, at the library...
Umbra sighed, tossing another unhelpful pocket dictionary aside. She’d only been at this for a few minutes now, but had already taken up Cygnus on her offer to contact Revelian’s coworker. She would just need to ask someone for a drawing of the symbol and ask him to keep what he saw a secret. But for now, the main problem was the question of her boredom, and the largeness of the library which never saw much patronage. She had a friend back at home who was much better suited to research... but they were worlds away.

And speaking of being worlds away, Revelian also hadn’t come home yet. A part of her worried that something may have happened to him, but she shrugged away those thoughts, knowing (or hoping) better. Whenever he *did* arrive, she would have to find a way to explain the situation tactfully - there was no hope trying to lie to him, not that she would want to, but perhaps giving him all the details then and there might end with him recklessly going on another rescue mission, which would mean she would want to come along, too... and so soon after yesterday’s chaos, maybe that wouldn’t be the best for her body, even if her brain said yes.

???: Find anything interesting?

Umbra turned around.

Umbra: Revelian! You’re back!

The two embraced each other.

Umbra: Listen... something happened while you were gone. Jast’s hurt.

Revelian: We all kinda took a beating from Lodin, huh? How bad is it?

Umbra: We’re... not sure it was Lodin.

Revelian: Oh?

Umbra: He’s not waking up. Sauphara tried her best to heal him, but there’s this... mark on his hand that’s stopping it from going through. Do you know anything about it?

Revelian: That doesn’t sound familiar. Man, we can never catch a break these days, can we?

Umbra: Guess not...

Revelian: Is he over at his place? I can go take a look, see if it jogs my memory.

Umbra: I think I’ll come with you. Cygnus called up one of your work friends to assist us. He’ll be meeting us later this afternoon.

Revelian: Wait a second... *Cygnus* offered to help? Without you asking?

Umbra: Yes, why...?

Revelian: Oh god... I don’t know who she’s talking about, but I have a feeling this won’t go well.

Umbra: When she was describing him to me a while ago, he seemed like a perfect fit. From the office? The one with the universal translator? What was it, Mister...

Revelian: Oh no.

Umbra: Mister...

Revelian: Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say.

Umbra: ... Altari? Mister Altari.

Revelian: *You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.*

Later still, Jast’s house...
Ecast burst through the door, tossing her sister and Samuel onto the floor.

Samuel: \*WHEEZE\* \*PANT\* \*HOOTH\*

Sauphara: Samuel, you’ve returned. Have you sorted things out with this Hankvi?

He gave a thumbs-up, still doubled-over and catching his breath. Zachary and Delinius had already arrived earlier, the ritual materials spread out on a table. Icarus came by from another room.

Icarus: Do you need anything...?

Samuel: WATER... AND... A SANDWICH. PLEASE.

Icarus: Uh, sure thing.

He backed away. Samuel took a deep breath.

Samuel: Soo... what’s all this?

Zachary: Things for a funeral from Jast’s world.

Samuel: Funeral?! He’s really gone?!

Zachary: No! He’s the same as before. We just think maybe these can help us understand what’s going on a little bit better, somehow.

They heard frantic footsteps coming down the stairs.

Umbra: Quick, he’s coming!

Samuel: He? Who?

Umbra: Delinius, do you have the drawings?

Delinius gestured to a piece of paper, on which he had transcribed the symbol.

Umbra: Alright. Sauphara, you wait upstairs and monitor Jast. I’ll get Revelian.

Samuel: Revelian’s back?

Umbra: He said he needed to “prepare” for the visitor. I take it they don’t get along well.

Samuel: Who’s the visitor??

Icarus: Water and a sandwich, coming in hot-

Samuel: *What kind of sandwich is it?!?*

Before the rest of his vital questions could be answered, they all heard a set of petite knocks on the door. Samuel turned the knob...

Poisonshot: Hello! I am here to help traduce the words!

## Chapter 5 - Traduction, Interruptioned

The group formed a huddle in the kitchen.

Umbra: (So, uh... *this* is the language expert Cygnus was talking about?)

Revelian: (Cygnus was pulling your leg, dear. Just because he’s able to translate every language doesn’t mean he can translate them *well*.)

Zachary: (Hold on, that’s not entirely fair to him. Maybe our language just doesn’t translate well from what he normally speaks.)

Revelian: (Yes, except that doesn’t really fucking help us, now, does it?)

Delinius: (I think you all may not be realizing that this isn’t everything he has up his sleeves.)

Samuel: (Yeah! I’ve gone on loads of adventures with him before! He’s got other powers.)

Revelian: (I don’t think the power to come back after I punch a hole through his skull is going to help us out here.)

Umbra: (I’m sorry, wait - he can regenerate?)

Samuel: (It’s his “Pink Eye” ability! He can revive in a snap if he dies-)

Umbra: (He’s immortal?!)

Revelian: (An immortal pain in my ass-)

Poisonshot: (I thing we should stop whispering.)

The huddle broke instantly, with just about everyone having a look of unease - barring Poisonshot himself, and Samuel, who was content to take a bite out of his meal.

Samuel: Mmf... goob samwich... \*chews\* Anyway! I think we’re all not giving him a shot (heh) here, *plus* we’re all forgetting one VERY important other ability he has!

Zachary: Right... *that* thing.

Umbra: Anyone care to fill me in...?

Samuel: Deli?

Delinius: A few weeks after Poisonshot was first hired by IDC, we noticed he was putting in volunteer hours in the medical bay, which was understaffed at the time. Patients were recovering much faster than normal.

Zachary: He didn’t mention any of this on his resume, so I sent someone to check it out...

Samuel: ... and Poisonshot was in different costumes doing all sorts of healing stuff!

Poisonshot cleared his throat and glared.

Samuel: ... Sorry, right. *Nurseshot* and *Cureshot* were doing all sorts of healing stuff.

Umbra: ... I’m completely lost.

Revelian: So long as everyone in the room believes that he’s a different person with the ability to do something, he can become that person and take on that skillset. If everyone thinks he’s a medical professional, he can be Nurseshot. If everyone thinks he’s good at teaching, he can be Professorshot. And it makes me want to become Right-In-The-Eye-Shot.

Poisonshot: They should call you Assholeshot.

Revelian: Fuck you.

Umbra: So, if we all... believe that he’s an expert with the symbol...

Poisonshot: Yes! Then Glyphshot will come to a visit!

Revelian: Nothing like putting the life of my friend in the hands of a reality-deteriorating moron.

Zachary: Let’s all calm down here, we’re all on the same side.

Poisonshot: Maybe Assholeshot can take a outside walk if he does not wand help?

Delinius: Please-

Revelian: Maybe Bitchshot can sit tight while I shove a trick arrow down his throat and see how long it takes for him to die?

Umbra: Revelian!-

Poisonshot suddenly rose from the ground, his eyes flaring through his mask.

Poisonshot: **DO, BITCH. I ALWAYS COME BACK.**

Samuel: Can we all just TAKE A DEEP BREATH and RELAX?!

Poisonshot returned to the ground. Zachary, Delinius, and Umbra looked horrified.

Revelian: ... Feh.

Poisonshot: Helps for Umbra, not for *you*. Now, I am calling Glyphshot?

Delinius: Just a moment. I am starting to believe that this may have more to do with heritage than about language. Would it be within the realm of possibility to wish for an expert on Jast’s species, or Genoskaya itself?

Samuel: Why not combine it?

Zachary: I mean, why not just make him an expert in *everything?*

Icarus: Hey, uh, not to butt in, but please do not turn someone into an omnipotent being in my kitchen.

Revelian: Last thing I need today is “Godshot” challenging me to a battle.

Zachary: Alright. We’ll all... wish... for someone who knows all about what’s happening to Jast. But nothing beyond that, okay? And, Revelian?

Revelian: Hm?

Zachary: Please try your hardest. I know what you think about... whichever “visitor” is going to come by, but we really need-

Revelian: Yeah, yeah, I know.

Poisonshot: Okay! Everyone turn around and close they eyes.

Revelian: *This is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever done in my life.*

Umbra: Revelian, just do it!

Revelian: I am, Umbra, I am...

Everyone complied. The sounds of someone - definitely not Poisonshot - changing costumes could be heard behind them, as could the occasional munch from Samuel.

Jastfanshot: Friends! I’m sorry for the wait, but your president is here. We can now begin our first meeting of the Jast Fan Club. Tell me - where is the man of the hour?

Everyone glared at Revelian. He simply shrugged and smirked.

Jastfanshot: Well, no matter. We have quite a number of topics we could talk about today, but I’ve just got the sudden urge to talk about one thing in particular...

He noticed the paper on the table and excitedly picked it up.

Jastfanshot: Now, let’s begin with an enthralling discussion on Nazcan pollen, and why we do not expose it to the dangers of the Corruption Zone.

## Chapter 6 - Nazcan Pollen, and Why We Do Not Expose It to the Dangers of the Corruption Zone

Revelian: Nazcans... knew I could never trust those damn plants.

Samuel: What’s a Nazcan?

Revelian: They’re-

Jastfanshot: Excellent question, Samuel! An inquisitive mind like yours is why you’re the seventeenth most dedicated Jast fan on the leaderboard.

Most everyone chuckled.

Jastfanshot: The Nazcans are a semi-organic race of entities originating from far beyond this world. They are not native to Genoskaya, but a handful were brought in at some point before the Second Catastrophe. They were quite the fad, being kept as domestic creatures.

Revelian: Wait, what about a Catastrophe?

Jastfanshot: Please, Revelian, don’t interrupt. We can cover the Great Catastrophes of Genoskaya at a later time. Anyway - while the Nazcans did not have a lasting impact on Serrangio life-

Zachary: Serrangio? I thought he was an angel or something...

Jastfanshot: Again, please, Zachary, do not interrupt. Angels are a completely different classification, though this is a common mistake for amateurs to make. Where was I? Ah, yes- the Nazcans eventually faded in popularity, and many were shipped back to their point of origin. Some energy research was done on the creatures, though nothing of note came about, save for the discovery that their pollen served as an inoculant to “jump-start” the immune systems of sickly babies. A large reservoir of pollen was kept in storage and distributed to infants. Now, can anyone name me one individual who received a dose of Nazcan pollen as a child?

Everyone looks around at each other for a bit. Samuel eventually raises his hand slowly.

Samuel: ... Jast?

Jastfanshot: Yes! You’re on a roll today, Samuel. It’s important to note that Nazcan pollen can survive for years in one’s respiratory system. This is not detrimental, unless one were to constantly be in the presence of a Nazcan for decades without wearing some sort of mask or cover. Nazcan pollen has not been known to do anything unwieldy, like, say, bloom, within an organism, with one exception. Could anyone tell me what-

Revelian: Skip the fucking teacher-student routine and just tell us.

Jastfanshot: Eager to learn more about our good friend Jast, I see! I’ve misjudged you, Revelian. Nazcan pollen, when experiencing high concentrations of psionic energy, may begin to act on base biological functions and seek to expand by any means necessary.

Delinius: This wouldn’t have anything to do with your previous departure, would it?

Revelian: The Corruption Zone was a manifestation of Lodin’s nightmare...

Zachary: ... And if that’s not a dead ringer for “psionic energy,” I don’t know what is.

Jastfanshot: Clever, all three of you! Though we must keep in mind that the reason why Jast was not entirely taken over by the Nazcan pollen was because his own auric trait was counterbalancing it. In fact, he has spent most of his life winning internal battles thanks to this very thing.

Samuel: Like the bolts he can shoot from his hands?

Jastfanshot: Correct! That is merely the excess energy that he is not unconsciously funnelling into constantly repairing his decaying soul.

Revelian: What the fuck?!

Delinius: A decaying soul... why?

Jastfanshot: Surely you could guess!

Umbra: Poi- uh, Jastfanshot- please, just tell us.

Jastfanshot: Well, I’ll help you out a bit. An escapee of the Third Catastrophe who harbors seven Inner Beings - five powerful in their own rites, one violating commonly accepted spacetime accords - traverses across galaxies in such a spectacular fashion resulting in the accidental murder of a family of five, spends his years dealing with sporadic flashes of their unlived lives, and is too ashamed to reveal to his friends that not only is this what he has struggled with since coming here, but also that he has reason to suspect that his entire existence is an interuniversal beacon for trouble. All this, on top of the guilt of never returning home to use his powers for good, coupled with the battle wounds from facing additional threats, would be enough to kill him slowly, if not for his auric wellspring. Now, who can guess who this person is?

Everyone’s jaws dropped.

Jastfanshot: Anyone? Come on, this is an easy answer!

One Jast Fan Club meeting later...
Poisonshot sat cross-legged on the floor. Delinius rested in a thoughtful position on a chair. Revelian float-paced to and from every corner of the room. The rest of the gang looked just as they had that same morning.

Icarus: ... Uh. Can I... get anyone anything...?

Revelian: Ghh...

Samuel: \*pouting\* Another sandwich. And more water.

Zachary: He never told me any of this stuff... some kind of problems on his home planet? And... *murder?*

Revelian: As though we haven’t done our fair share of killing...

Zachary: But, like... a family. He said it was a whole family...

Samuel: Maybe it was an evil family.

Once again, he didn’t sound sure of himself. He took an angry bite of his sandwich.

Zachary: I started a whole business with him and I never even knew. And this thing about... bringing enemies here?

Revelian: When Kuipter came here, he was looking for me. And the Blauxolm... yeah, my bad also. And Karelia-

Umbra: I think they get the picture.

Delinius: That makes it all the more worrisome when taking into account the remark “Jastfanshot” made about the... “trouble beacon,” was it?

Zachary: Ugh... does that mean there’s more to come?

Samuel: And why couldn’t he trust us? If we knew what was going on, we would’ve helped!

Umbra: Whatever happened with him happened. There aren’t any answers now, though.

Revelian: So, what, that’s it, then? Jast sleeps himself to death because we didn’t take him to therapy? Hell no. There’s another way out of this and we’re gonna find it.

Samuel: ... Yeah. Yeah!

He gets up.

Samuel: We can’t give up now! If anything, we know more than ever.

Zachary: I wasn’t about to leave him behind, I just needed a moment to take it all in... but it’s like Umbra said: whatever happened, happened. If he’s got some dark past or whatever, that’s a conversation for *after* we save our friend.

Revelian: Well, if that’s that, maybe the place to start is to return to Genoskaya. Puddingshit, you coming?

Despite the insult, he perked up.

Poisonshot: You mean?

Revelian: You’re back to normal now, so I don’t know what that’d make you good at, but-

He gestured to his bow.

Poisonshot: No ish.

Revelian: - yeah whatever. But you’re his friend too, somehow, and we need all hands on deck.

He stood up.

Poisonshot: Booyay!

Umbra: Well...

Zachary gave her a worried look.

Umbra: ... Count me in, too.

Delinius: Then it is decided. Traveling to this Genoskaya will be no easy task, but-

Suddenly, Poisonshot held up a hand in a shushing motion. He felt his whiskers acting up.

Poisonshot: Quiet. Traduction.

Everyone complied. His eyes began cycling through different colors, eventually settling on a faded, earthy green. A voice emitted from him - not his own - being a fast, higher-pitched one with a citydweller’s accent.

Poisonshot?: ... \*static\* Grasshopper, log... \*static\* timeline, mission accomplished sorta? I say mission accomplished. Event summary - came to the location tracking the Battery by his Acid Rain aura signature. He was guarded by *the mom*... what’s-her-face... whatever. “Lord Zeronius.” Battery was already found dead from unrelated complications, thank Ukron. Buuut... recovery of the body wasn’t in the cards. Leaving him to fizz out, best not to attract attention. Addendum - the power creep here is off-the-charts! Way better - er, worse than we thought before. Also - Hot Sauce. We should keep an eye on this one. Man, my thoughts aren’t usually this loud. Is it just the energy here?

By this point, Poisonshot and the gang had relocated to the nearest appropriate window. All of them stared down a short, mostly-gridmask lady, squatting down in the backyard by a pair of high-tech binoculars, jotting down a report of some kind on bleach-white paper. She, realizing her inner thoughts were being broadcast, turned around to get a faceful of her seven voyeurs.

Poisonshot + ?: ... Ah, hot sauce.

## Chapter 7 - A Wild Grasshopper Chase

Revelian: Gotcha-auGH!!-

Teleporting to try catching the spy, he instead collided head-on with Samuel and Ecast.

Revelian: SAMNIT. CAN’T YOU WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING?!

Samuel: It’s not us! You haven’t been able to teleport to her either. It’s like she knows exactly how to get away from us!

Revelian: WELL, LET’S TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT!!

Zachary and Umbra chased her directly, barely able to keep up the pace, while Delinius tried flanking from the sides. Despite their wild and frantic attacks, nothing seemed to nail her down - she effortlessly hopped away from fire without even looking back.

Zachary: Huff... huff... who... is she?!

Delinius: This is... more exercise... than I would have liked... this afternoon...

Umbra suddenly tackled Zachary to the side.

Zachary: OOF!! Wh-

She clamped her hand over his mouth. Their target, finally, turned to get a view at the mob coming for her, but it was far too late. The arrow struck her in her side, delivering a quick but powerful electrical burst. She yelped, then dropped to the ground.

Poisonshot: \*yelling, from far away\* Booyay!

Umbra got up and walked over to her. Zachary got up, brushing the dirt off his clothes, trying not to feel flustered about the whole thing.

Delinius: A smart play, Revelian. I’m glad you’ve learned to value teamwork over your own biases for the sake of achieving a difficult goal.

Revelian: Uh, yeah. Let’s go with that.

He slowly put down Samuel, who he was planning on chucking at the woman at warp speed.

?: Urgh...

Everyone began to draw their weapons.

?: Hey- \*cough\* hey now! ‘m not armed. Where’s your honor?

Delinius: Let me handle this.

He knelt beside the stranger and lowered his hand.

?: Hh... at least Hot Sauce here’s still got class-

In an instant, a brilliant orange battleaxe manifested in his palms. He tightened his grip gently around the handle. The axehead was positioned just atop the woman’s scalp.

?: Ugh.

Delinius: Who are you?

?: Just call me the “Timely Grasshopper”-

Revelian: Nope. That’s dumb as hell. Your name’s Valenz now.

Valenz: Wh- how did you know my name?!

Revelian: ... Wait, was I right? Shit.

Delinius: Why were you trying to harm Jast?

Valenz: I wasn’t *trying* to. I just showed up and it was already *done*. I’m just here for recon, honest!

Delinius: Reconnaissance for whom?

Valenz: Recon for you, obviously.

Zachary: What?

Umbra: What?

Samuel: Wh-

Delinius brought the weapon closer to her.

Delinius: I ordered no such thing. I have never even met you before.

Valenz: Ugh, of *course* you haven’t! Look. I’m unarmed, I’m not running, and we’re all on the same side here. Can we go somewhere that ain’t dirt-in-the-face city and talk about this without the Phoenix?

Still kneeling, the weapon vanished.

Delinius: My axe. You know its name.

Valenz rolled over and squatted on the grass.

Valenz: That and much more. I could tell you why Captain Fossil’s got flutterbugs in his tummy, the last thing Mr. Cyan here had to eat, and how ol’ Cyclops here’s been ponying up to try for a ba-

Revelian: Shut up. Tell us what you know and how you know it, and we might let you live.

She sighed.

Valenz: This is gonna take a lot outta me. I’ll need some grub.

Back at the DeCurro residence, once again...
A circle was formed around Valenz, who was perched at the edge of a table. Everyone looked on with sour expressions as she finished off the rest of Samuel’s sandwich.

Valenz: Mm... it’sh goob. Like, it’sh REALLY goob. Like- \*gulp\* youse guys dunno, but all the wheat you’re growing - that land’s being fertilized by a real rare species of-

Revelian: Cut to the chase or I’ll cut to the throat.

Valenz: Right, relax, Junior-Lord Z. Hey, someone get me another one of these? Anyway. Where was I?

Zachary: Why were you watching Jast?

Revelian: Who sent you?

Delinius: Why do you call him “Battery”?

Umbra: What were you saying about the “energy” here?

Samuel: What’s with the hot sauce?

Poisonshot: Did I hit you good or which?

Icarus: Did someone call for another sandwich?

Valenz: One at a time, most important questions first. I did, thanks. You hit me good, Poisonhood. Hot Sauce is what Delinius here smells like, usually.

Delinius sniffed his shirt, concerned.

Valenz: I’ll get two with one toss - we call him the Battery because of the energy he gives off. Not always, just when he’s charged. And here, he’s definitely, definitely charged.

She grabbed the last sandwich from Icarus, then snatched Samuel’s cup of water from him.

Samuel: Hey! I have to stay hydrated!

Valenz: The boss is someone who likes to help out behind the scenes - I said we’re on the same side, and I mean it. We only step in when things get real bad, and that’s why I’m here. I’ll be honest and say we’re not buddy-buddy with everyone here, but if the mission is “save the world and keep most of you alive,” we’re already there.

She started tearing chunks off of the sandwich and tossing them around the room.

Valenz: Let’s say you’re one of these food bits. There’s a lot of you. For the most part, you’re the same - some small differences here and there - that’s not important. If you get left there long enough, you start getting moldy, or some critters come along and eat it, or something else happens. And that’s fine, because every food bit is its own food bit. Following so far?

Zachary: I think so... are you talking about other dimensions? Like the Corruption Zone?

Valenz: Sorta. Let’s go with that, though. Youse guys are all from the same food bit, except the Battery isn’t. I’m not talkin’ planets and stuff here - hard to explain - but he’s not supposed to be on here. Let’s say, uh...

She then began to spill water onto the carpet in different spots. Icarus grimaced.

Valenz: Let’s say there’s something *totally* different going on here with the water. Well... same situation, I mean. Every puddle’s its own thing. This is where the Battery’s supposed to be, usually.

Delinius: That... makes some amount of sense, I suppose. What seems to be the issue with Jast, then?

She dropped the remainder of the sandwich into the cup.

Delinius: ... Ah. I see.

Samuel: ... Ruined meal...

She nodded sadly.

Valenz: Ruined meal.

Umbra: So, just Jast being here is causing problems... is it anything we’ve seen before? Anything we can handle?

Valenz: No. Well... I’d *usually* tell you no, that it’s nothing that wouldn’t wipe the floor with you in a matter of seconds. But then there’s the matter of power creep, and that’s where I’m starting to be a little hopeful. Big Z, gimme a rundown of what you’ve dealt with this year.

Revelian: Don’t call me that.

Valenz: Not you. The one with the tail.

Zachary: Don’t call me that either. But, uh... there was the Kuipter incident, the Blauxolm incident, the *second* Blauxolm incident, the Dr. Sand incident which was really just another Kuipter incident, and just yesterday we dealt with Lodin’s nightmare.

Valenz: All in a year, and not even a full one at that.

Zachary: Yep.

Valenz: And this is normal for you.

Samuel: You bet!

Valenz: And - here’s the stinger - you all lived.

Revelian: Well, durr. We’re strong.

Valenz: Consistently. But not *this* strong. And not ready to take on multiple invasions like this basically back-to-back. Not without the Battery. All of this is might be “normal” for you, but all other... versions of you, let’s say - all these things are paced out. Some of them are never as strong in their last years alive as you are now.

Revelian: You’re saying that like it’s a bad thing.

Valenz: Because it *is* a bad thing. Youse guys ain’t only ones that are gonna get stronger. And unless you can keep up the exponential rate for the rest of your lives, something - or someone - is gonna come by and hit you so hard you won’t be able to get up. And the aftermath may very well be-

Delinius: The apocalypse? These seem to be the usual stakes, from what I’ve observed.

Valenz: Don’t kid yourself, Hot Sauce. Some of you might be offworlders, but you’ve just been saving your continent at best. Not even your world, or your galaxy, or the Prism, or existence itself...

Zachary: Woah, woah, woah! That seems a bit much!

Valenz: It IS!! That’s what I’m tryin’ to say here! Look, nothing lasts forever, and at some point, life as everyone knows it is gonna kick the bucket. That’s inevitable. But the Battery - your Jast here - he’s bringing you down a faster path to something much, much worse.

Umbra: What could possibly be worse than the end of existence?!

Valenz: I’m begging you all to never find out.

Everyone glanced towards the room where Jast and Sauphara were.

Valenz: Listen. I’ve got to report back to the boss. Battery’s dead right now - that’s a good thing for us. But think long and hard if you wanna bring him back, because if you find a way, and the boss finds out... he’s gonna send different people to get the job done.

A surge of light began to surround her, with arcane writings spiraling around her body.

Zachary: H-hey! Wait!!

Valenz: Remember... every other version of you... Jast is the enemy. We’re supposed to be on the same side here. If you really care about your world, he has to stay down.

A blinding flash later, Valenz was gone.

?: Ahem...

Everyone turned towards the stairs.

Sauphara: It feels like a wild party happened here. If I’m not interrupting anything... *he’s awake.*

## Chapter 8 - The Vessel

Jast: Mmmumph... \*zzz\*

Sauphara: ... Perhaps “awake” does not accurately describe his state, but he is alive.

Poisonshot: What did happen?

Sauphara: I overheard Poisonshot’s-

Poisonshot: Jastfanshot?

Sauphara: - Poisonshot’s explanation about the Corruption Zone’s effects on Jast’s body. After our unexpected visitor departed, it was simply a matter of redirecting the psionic energy into myself.

Umbra: Sauphara!! Won’t that hurt you?!

Sauphara: Not in the slightest. It was truly quite refreshing.

Jast: Mmmumph...?

Jast stirred from his slumber, opening his eye to some of his friends.

Jast: Gh... yanno... I had the strangest dream where-

He then spotted the Breestone items on the nightstand. His pupils widened, then he flopped over, covering the back of his head with a pillow. Revelian lifted his mattress and tilted it on its side, dropping him onto the floor. He draped his face in his sheets in response.

Delinius: I’ll... return these items to the office now. I trust we won’t be needing them anytime soon.

Jast: \*muffled\* So we’re not killing me?

Samuel: No, we just thought you were dead because you weren’t waking up.

He peeked his head out.

Jast: ... ‘kay. I’m awake now. Problem solved?

Umbra: Well, we found someone spying on you from some group that thinks you’re better off dead.

Jast: Oh. Problem problemed.

Revelian: She thinks you’re dead. So we should be fine for now.

Jast: Problem-

Zachary: The *problem* here is that she said a lot of worrying stuff about you, and we’re all just now realizing that we don’t know what’s going on with you!

He pulled the sheets over his face again.

Zachary: Jast! I- ugh. Listen, most of us... we’ve had our fair share of dark pasts. Whatever you want to keep secret, I won’t push, but all this stuff about you being a “battery” and being too dangerous for even *us* to be around you... whatever you can tell us’ll help out. Alright?

Silence.

Samuel: Jast, could you just... tell us about the battery first?

More silence.

Samuel: Or if there’s something going on with your home planet...?

Silence still.

Revelian: Alright, enough of this.

He tore the sheets away. Jast was crying silently - his pupil-less eyes flushed a lime green, the tears streaming down his cheeks matching the shade. His body crackled with energy, glowing faintly.

Revelian: Jeez, Jast!!

Jast: I don’t... I don’t know what’s happening...

He broke out into loud sobs. Samuel came over and put a hand on his shoulder.

Umbra: I-it’s alright, Jast... Revelian, how often is he like this?

Revelian: Never seen him like this before... We’re here for you. Take as long as you need.

Jast: \*sniffle\* I don’t- I don’t know about th- the battery... I didn’t want... I couldn’t...

He took a deep breath and sat up.

Jast: There was nothing for me at home. When I left, the... things chasing me... hit me, and I woke up on Ludus... on a boat - *under* a boat...

Poisonshot: Under?

Jast: I- I crashed through it. I was underwater when I woke up. There were people on that boat... a family... five of them. I wasn’t... I wasn’t thinking, I only saved myself.

Zachary: Jast... it’s alright.

Jast pressed his palms to his eyes. The tears kept leaking, this time bursting with lime electricity.

Jast: I see them everywhere. I don’t remember what they look like but I see them *everywhere*. Like I’m just a ship for them!

Zachary: Jast-

Jast: It’s not alright!! I look in the mirror and I think I’m putting on a silver bowtie! I see a party and I think I’m getting married to a girl with blue hair! Every time we have to fight someone new I think I’m just... acting a role! *I don’t know who I am!!*

The electricity funneled down to his hands, then arced through his fingertips.

Jast: And- and whenever I feel like I’m the guy in the tie, I know- I know...

Sauphara: Jast! Please calm down!!

He dropped his hands. A mix of his energized tears and his blood dripped down.

Jast: I know he was your FRIEND!! I don’t know ANYTHING about starting a company, or how to be a friend like him, or how to be strong when you need me to be! He’s supposed to be here! He’s supposed to still be alive! Not me!! I’m just... I’m just trying to fill in...

He collapsed on his back again, weeping into his wrists. Poisonshot started tearing up through his mask.

Poisonshot: Oh, the empathie...!

He went in for an embrace, which slowly turned into a rather awkward group hug. Even Revelian got in on it.

Zachary: Whatever happened... I’m sorry you felt like you had to face it alone. But *you’re* our friend, not the “guy in the tie” or whatever.

Jast: \*sniffle\* O-okay...

Samuel: We’re all here for you. Also: “problem un-problemed,” right? We’ve got all day to relax and help you through it, and the Grasshopper Lady thinks you’re dead. Let’s just  out.

Jast: ... Alright. \*sniffle\* H-how was last night...?

Zachary: Oh, you wouldn’t *believe* the trouble Lazro got into...

Revelian: Hold on a second- lemme first tell you what I had to deal with coming back from Pragma.

Poisonshot: I thing we all need to pay attention to the mush important - the Sam Dance.

Zachary: Man, I forgot about the Sam Dance-

Samuel: Noo!! Not the Sam Dance!

Revelian: He sounds upset about it. Spill.

And so, everyone took turns talking about absolutely nothing on the floor of Jast’s bedroom for hours. Jast felt himself growing calmer with every fit of laughter from those around him. For the first time in a while, he felt light - he knew he couldn’t tell the future, but if he had any say in it, he’d hope that things would never change.

## Chapter 9 - Wrench in the Gears

Then, evening came.

***Greetings. You have already met one of my associates.***

***I am aware that the Battery is still active. Do note that he will be collected at dawn, at the Isles-DeCurro Headquarters lobby, in whatever state we may find him in, with or without your compliance.***

***Please set the remainder of your affairs in order. This is for the good of your timeline.***

***¬The Maintenancekeeper***
Delinius: I was as shocked then as you all are now to find this note while returning Jast’s ritual materials to its previous spot. Whoever this individual is, they seemed to know exactly how to get in touch with us.

Poisonshot: \*yawns\* So much for the good night sleepover...

Umbra: At least this “Maintenancekeeper” gave us a heads-up...

Samuel: Yeah. Kuipter never did that for us.

Revelian: This better not be because of a snitch...

Zachary: I didn’t even know about that box before today. Delinius, does anyone else ever go into that room?

Delinius: Only Nat, though I would hardly believe she could get wrapped up in something like this.

Samuel: And it’s not handwriting... who the heck uses orange ink, though?

Delinius: Quite perplexing.

Revelian: And who the hell still talks like that?

Delinius: ...

Revelian: Yeah, but like, *besides* you and Hank? ... Oh, god...

Zachary: Okay, I think we can safely rule out Hankvi.

Sauphara: May I be honest? I don’t think we can rule out anyone. I hate to call your camaraderie a detriment here, but your level of trust with your workers makes it difficult to identify a possible infiltrator.

Jast: So we’ll treat it like it’s someone else for now, right? We know someone’s gonna be looking for me. We know where they’re going to show up, and we know we’ve only got tonight to be ready for it.

Umbra: What’s the plan?

Zachary: Most everyone should be going home by the time we get there. We can send the rest of the evening staff away without rousing suspicion, then get to work.

Delinius: Doing what, exactly?

Poisonshot: We can set birding-traps in the building!

Samuel: Heha! Pick ‘em off one-by-one as they come looking for Jast! It’s foolproof!

Revelian: *Or,* we can take care of them the old-fashioned way, and I can call up Thomas and the others for backup.

Zachary: I think I’m actually going to go with Poisonshot here. This is our home turf. We’ll be at an advantage if we start kitting it out for defense.

Jast: Didn’t they know where my death-box-thingy was? What if they know the layout?

Zachary: That won’t be a problem.

Umbra: I don’t... oh! No, no it won’t be.

Revelian: Heh.

Jast: Well, *I* don’t... OOOOOHH. Okay.

Delinius: I don’t follow.

Samuel: Woohoo, pranks time!

Zachary: Alright. We’ll all go in, split up, and make sure everyone else is out of the building. We regroup, find somewhere to hide Jast when the time comes, and then Sauphara and Umbra can guard him. Then everyone except Revelian starts setting up from there - we’ll follow Samuel’s lead. Revelian, you go home and get your piece. When the time comes, Delinius and I will be waiting at the lobby. Samuel and Poisonshot should gear up to knock them off-track if they get past us and start snooping around. Revelian can “clean up” after the rest of us.

Revelian: Still think it’d be better to overprepare for this than play some practical jokes on the Maintenancecrapper.

Zachary: We don’t know when the next time we’ll need the full force of the Seashore Base again, and we’ve only just come back from the Corruption Zone yesterday. Whoever the Maintenancekeeper is, they only sent one scout after us - maybe they’ll only send a small extraction team if they notice we’re not fighting back in a big way.

Revelian: Feh, whatever.

Samuel: Pranks tiiiime~

Zachary: Sound like a plan to everyone?

Jast: Yep-yep!

Zachary: Great. Let’s get to work...

Only a few hours before dawn...
Poisonshot: Aì, Samuel, jûė půrìςe Revelian n'avìet onië tomì bůnnë, chìt-chìt.

Revelian: What the fuck did he say about me?

Samuel: Heha! Oh, hey Rev, you’re back. Uì, Poisonshot, aςìlėe pon amiėe.

Revelian: What the fuck did *you* say about me?

Samuel: It, ah, doesn’t translate well from my language. It’s just a joke, he’s more fluent with-

Poisonshot: What were your part of the plan?

Revelian: None of your business. Finish trapping this floor and let’s move on.

He sniffed the air.

Revelian: Are those cookies?

Samuel: Well, we’re gonna be staying up all night ‘til morning. Gotta keep up our energy somehow.

Jast: I’unno, I feel fine!

Revelian: You’ve also been knocked out for most of the day.

Jast: Right. Anyhow, found somewhere cozy to sit. Didja bring ‘er?

Revelian: Duh. She’s still getting used to the place again. Where’s Zach?

Jast: With Deli, wrapping up the top floors. We’re just about set up, I was just waiting for you to come along ‘n’ help me to the spot. It’s a little... inaccessible, otherwise.

Revelian: Lemme guess - basement where you trashed Kuipter’s shit, only accessible from the top floor elevator that we sealed up?

Jast: ... Well, now I’m not so confident it’s a great spot.

Revelian: It’ll do. Easier than picking some random floor and squatting under a desk.

Jast: Alright! Here we go!

The two warped off.

Poisonshot: “Ooh, I’m called Revelian! What the fuck do he say about me? I wand punch a hole through Poisonshot’s skull!”

Samuel: Heha.

Poisonshot finished up wiring another trap near the doorway, then rolled a massive cart full of cookies along.

Poisonshot: How mush more floors?

Samuel: As many as we can get done. Next one should be a computer lab, that’ll be fun!

Poisonshot managed to bring the cart up the stairs (somehow), then let it slide into the first room on the next floor. He stopped.

Poisonshot: Uh? Samuel?

Samuel: Hm?

Poisonshot: We have redecorated?

Samuel: Oh, did we? I... wait a second. This is a cafeteria.

Poisonshot: In floor thirty?

Samuel: That... no, that doesn’t make much sense.

The doors shut behind them. The yellow faces sprouting from the walls giggled.

## Chapter 10 - A Tale of Two Wodwicks

Dawn began to peek through the glass doors of IDC HQ.

Zachary: Look alive. Company.

Delinius got up from the floor and summoned his axe. He could make out two figures coming up from the horizon, chatting enthusiastically with one another.

Delinius: Those silhouettes...

One of the shortest workers at IDC paired up with one of the bigger ones came clearer into view. Zachary shot a worried glance to Delinius, and the two lowered their weapons. Sure enough, the conversing two eventually arrived, unlocking the door with their own set of keys.

Nat: Oh! Good morning, you two.

Wodwick tipped his hat.

Wodwick: Mornin’.

Nat: Is anything the matter?

Delinius: We’re expecting a... difficult package shortly, and we wished to assist in moving it to the appropriate floor. Would you mind both waiting here for a moment?

Nat: Well, since it’s you who asked me to stop by this early, there’s no trouble in that.

Wodwick: I’m just here getting a jumpstart on my papers, but hey, if it’s lifting we’re talking, I’ve got some time.

He went over to the stairwell.

Zachary: Uh-

Wodwick opening the door, Zachary was relieved to see nothing unusual behind it.

Wodwick: Lemme just find something to prop this open, I’ll be right back.

Delinius: Wait-!

Wodwick had already started his jog up the steps. The three watched as one of Zoras’ many faces descended from the yellowing wall, cooed playfully, and shut the door.

Zachary: Let’s... hope she knows what she’s doing.

Nat: Okay, what’s going on here?

Delinius: Revelian was under the belief that this was “Bring Your Pet to Work Day,” and we’re-

Nat: Not her. *Him.*

The group turned around to the entrance, where a confused Wodwick had been staring through for the past few minutes.

Wodwick: ... Morning...?

Stairwell.
The other Wodwick trekked up the stairs, unperturbed by the so-called Living Labyrinth shifting his direction. A voice buzzed into his earpiece.

?: Rookie?

Wodwick?: Loud and clear, Perdax. Got in fine, the monster’s no trouble.

Perdax: Keep on guard. Just because it hasn’t whacked you yet doesn’t mean it can’t. And this talker’s still my only prototype - don’t make me have to rebuild it from scratch.

Wodwick?: Heard.

Stopping in front of a floor (with its sign replaced by a grinning face), he fiddled with a device on his wrist, which pulsed with light once.

Wodwick?: Stabilizer active, stepping in.

He walked into an open cafeteria.

Wodwick?: I’m somewhere on what used to be part of a ground floor, definitely got shifted up.

Perdax: Vent shaft at the end. Picking up two lifeforms.

Wodwick?: I’ll deal with them.

Perdax: Just get-

Wodwick?: I know, I know. Get the Battery no matter what.

Perdax: Remember the mission. And you *can* take him alive.

Wodwick?: Heard. ... Wait, come again?

Perdax: I said not to take it personally-

Wodwick?: I’m getting an echo. Cutting you off.

He switched off the earpiece and glared down the mess hall, where tables had been set up on their sides.

Wodwick?: I know you’re listening. The least you could do is not broadcast it back at me. And he calls *me* the rookie...

Poisonshot, his eyes still a mid-shade of grey from his “traduction,” faced Samuel from behind a table-barricade.

Poisonshot: (Ish still Wodwick.)

Samuel: (Look at him, though! He’s not wearing a suit. He’s not *our* Wodwick.)

Poisonshot: (Still, we must be careful to not hurt.)

Samuel: (Well, what are we gonna do...?)

The other Wodwick’s footsteps grew louder.

Wodwick?: I’m sure we’re acquaintances in another time and place... but I’m gonna need you to stay out of my w-

Samuel: ATTACK!!

Poisonshot: HELL YA!!!

The two, armed with carts full of cookies, began to open fire at their coworker’s dastardly look-alike. He was pelted in the face with a flurry of baked dough treats. He took shelter behind a table, only to set off a tripwire that plastered his face in fruit juice.

Wodwick?: AGH!!- Perdax!

Perdax: Heard, what is it?

Wodwick?: They’re returning fire! They’ve got these sort of... organic disks, they’re burning my skin!

Perdax: I... cookies?! Are you serious?!

Wodwick?: Are they dangerous?!

Perdax: They’re *snacks!* Ugh, you probably have some allergic reaction to the dough or something. Did you seriously not have cookies in your timeline?

Wodwick?: Are they gonna kill me?!?

Perdax: Would you relax? Dammit, I gotta do everything for you. Eject, I’ll tell Stache.

He furiously pressed a button on his belt.

Wodwick?: It’s not working-

Perdax: For the love of... that’s the version beacon! Stop hitting that! Eject is on the *back* of the belt!

Wodwick?: Heard!

He slapped a hand above his rear and disappeared. Behind their table-wall, Samuel “reloaded” another tray, while Poisonshot’s eyes cycled until they matched the color of the loudspeakers throughout the building. He began to speak through the technology of IDC:

Poisonshot: We are hold off the fake Wodwick! Go!!

While transmitting his message, however, he failed to notice the “real” Wodwick come into the cafeteria. Similarly, Wodwick failed to hear any messages from the stairwell, which were drowned out by Zoras’ chittering.

Wodwick: I just got like seventeen pies in the face trying to get up here, Revelian’s maze pet is in the stairs, and I just saw my clone. What’s happening?

Samuel: HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR WAVE TWO!!

Poisonshot: HELL YA!!!!!!!

Completely unaware of what had just taken place, he rolled behind the same exact table his counterpart was a few seconds ago, ending up in a juice puddle.

Wodwick: Ohoho... it was *you two!* You’ve messed with the wrong person today!

He grabbed a handful of cookies around him.

Wodwick: I am CAPTAIN WODWICK DEE, PSYCHOPOMP OF BAKED GOODIES! RETURNING FIRE!!

And nothing of importance took place in that room for the remainder of the story.

## Chapter 11 - Assault on Battery

Jast: Seven of eyepatches?

Sauphara: You will have to go fish.

Jast: Aww...

In a near-instant, a gridmask phased into existence in the middle of the card game. He had a pair of dark blue shades, and an outfit to match - some loose patches of armor here and there, technology comparable to Universe City, and lots and lots of pockets.

Jast: Double-aww... wait, AAAH!!

Perdax: Couldn’t pick a more obvious spot?

He lifted Jast by his shirt. Umbra immediately drew her weapon and pointed it at him.

Umbra: Put him down.

Jast: I think you should listen to her. She has a really big gun.

Perdax: No. He’s coming with me.

BATTLE SCENE: Perdax
Jast’s Battery Leak kicked in!

Sauphara’s Psionic Charge kicked in!

Perdax’s Compulsory Evacuation Mechanism kicked in!

The battle concluded.
Umbra: Put him d- wait, what the...?

Before anyone could figure out what had taken place, the assailant disappeared with Jast.

Sauphara: Oh no.

Umbra: ... Get Revelian.

The basement, one Revelian-warp later...
Umbra: ... And then he was gone. I felt so dizzy, like I was repeating myself...

Sauphara: All the makings of time-traveling, it would seem. It’s worrisome that our foes possess this sort of power. Countering it will prove difficult.

Zachary: Do we have any way we can follow him?

Umbra: Easily.

She brushed aside the cards, revealing an arcane sigil.

Delinius: ... Ah.

Sauphara: We had a feeling we might have needed an extra blanket of security. The risk of losing Jast without being able to track him again was too great.

Umbra: He landed right here when he came. I can lock onto his signature just fine if the rest of you can help us get there. The issue is that there’s no guarantee of “when” they are, if this really is time-travel.

Zachary: It’s as much a lead as we can hope for. Let’s get to work!

Revelian: *Let’s?* What are *you* going to do, exactly?

Zachary: ... Uh, sit here and wait for the rest of you to do things?

Revelian: Thanks, asshole.

Zachary: Hey now! Umbra and Delinius have magic, you and Sauphara have... Negative-ness... I can’t do anything here except fly, and I don’t know where we’re flying.

Revelian: Touché.

Umbra: I got it! They’re somewhere in Separ, but I can’t see much beyond that...

Delinius scowled.

Delinius: I may be able to help. Umbra, could you try locking onto a place called “Artemus,” by any chance?

Umbra: I think I can. I... I see it! I see Jast, and the guy who took him!

She closed her eyes and focused a projection in front of her face: sure enough, Jast was in the back of some sort of vehicle, limbs and wings bound. The man in navy could be seen at the steering wheel.

Sauphara: Good work, Delinius. How did you know to check there?

Delinius: A strange feeling I had... and not a particularly pleasant one. We should prepare for the worst. I won’t bother causing alarm where it may not be needed, but...

Zachary: But what?

Delinius: ... To mix metaphors, our ruined meal may be in danger of extra helpings of hot sauce.

Revelian: That’s dumb and doesn’t make sense and I’m ready to warp us over there if we’re all set. Are we?

Everyone mumbled in agreement.

Zachary: Wait, we forgot Samuel and P-

Revelian teleported them away.

## Chapter 12 - Where the Heart Is?

Jast had spent the last minute or so failing to whistle to himself, doing so as irritatingly wrong as possible. The driver said nothing.

Jast: ... Normally I get a “keep it down back there” or a “I’m gonna punch a hole through your skull if you don’t cut that out” by now.

Perdax: Fine. “Keep it down back there.” Happy?

Jast: Very.

They drifted back into another uneasy silence.

Jast: Soo... don’t I get to know the name of my chauffeur?

Perdax: No.

Jast: Perdax. Got it.

Perdax: How did-? Whatever.

Jast: What’s in the pockets?

Perdax: Nothing to keep you quiet, sadly.

Jast: What’s with the eye-face-covers?

Perdax: I like how they look.

Jast: Wanna trade for an eyepatch?

Perdax: No.

Jast: How old are you?

Perdax: None of your business.

Jast: Where are we going?

Perdax: Artemus. Stache’s orders.

Jast: Wh- wow. You actually answered that one?

Perdax: Not a secret. If you’re trying to get me to spill, nothing about this is.

Jast: Huh.

He paused.

Jast: Well, that almost takes all the fun away.

Perdax: Good.

Jast: Almost. Who’s Stache and why does he want me?

Perdax: Someone trying to keep everything running like clockwork. You’re ruining it.

Jast: Not to throw Rev under the bus, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got a couple of other friends that could be considered “ruining it” worse than I am.

Perdax: Revelian’s like this no matter what, more or less. Doesn’t help that you’re not keeping him in check much.

Jast: ... You know him?

Perdax: We know about all of you.

Jast glanced at his bound shins. His eye started to glow a faint lime green.

Jast: I feel like a holiday meal here.

Perdax: It’s so you don’t try anything. Which I know you are anyway.

Jast: ... Why am I the Battery?

Perdax: If any of us knew, we could’ve gone back and stopped it. It doesn’t happen often. Favors you a little more than random chance. It’s never bothered us before because you were home.

“Home,” Jast repeated to himself. His thoughts flooded with days rolling out of bed, talking with Icarus and his pets at breakfast, heading over to the office. Images of adventures and picnics and even boring business meetings with his friends came into view. But he knew this wasn’t the home that Perdax meant.

Jast: You’re talking about Genoskaya.

Perdax: Mhm.

Jast: ... What happened there?

Perdax: Don’t pretend you don’t know.

Jast didn’t. He felt more energy buzzing from his eye - thankfully, it was silent.

Jast: Do I have to stay there?

Perdax: Better if you did. Ludus is a hotbed of dangerous activity as is. You’re putting it more at risk.

Jast: ... So I can never see my friends again...?

Perdax said nothing.

Jast: If I’m really hurting them... I’ll go home. I’ll stay there.

Perdax: No.

Jast looked up.

Perdax: They’ll come to you, or you’ll come to them. They’re key players and we need them on the ground. The best we can do is put you somewhere it won’t matter who or what you charge up, or kill you.

Jast: ... Oh.

Perdax: Stache might find somewhere nice to put you.

He stared down at the ties across his legs again. There was no stopping the hum of his energy now.

Perdax: And cut that out.

Jast: ‘kay.

With a small laser from his eye, he burned through the cord, snapping off the rest with ease.

Jast: Yahoo for light beams!!

Perdax slammed the brakes on the vehicle, turning around and instantly pointing a wheelgun at Jast. His prisoner merely grinned, lime static accumulating from everywhere - including the gadgetry in Perdax’s many pockets, which all whirred and beeped furiously.

Perdax: *You don’t know what you’re doing.*

Jast: Nope! See ya!

Perdax tossed his bandolier out the window, with a flurry of grenades, trackers, and other assorted items detonating in tandem. Beams and waves of energy emitted from some of his wearable tech, though he couldn’t keep track of all of it as the vehicle careened off-course. He rubbed his eyes, thankful for the protection of his shades, and immediately glanced down at his wrist timepiece controlling time-travel. He didn’t need to look behind him to know that the Battery had escaped - not somewhere, but somewhen.

Perdax: Your funeral, Battery.

## Chapter 13 - Wick Trick

Revelian: RRRR-

Winding up a mighty punch, he swung all of his weight towards the electronic door in front of him, which opened just in time. He fell forward.

Wodwick?: Welcome to Artemus. Now get out.

Zachary: Great. It’s Fake Wodwick again.

Wodwick?: Fake, Mr. Isles? I’m Wodwick Dee, flesh and blood. I’d say even better than the shill version of me who’d rather work with the enemy.

Umbra surveyed the room. The lab was smaller than expected, and evidently abandoned on the fly, though with all nearby technology shut down.

Umbra: Afraid we were going to catch you at a bad time?

Wodwick?: Counted on it. I’ll say this once more - I can appreciate you’re trying to help out your “friend” here, but we’re supposed to be on the same side. You’re putting a lot of good people in danger if you get in our way.

Revelian: Sucks to be them. Hand over Jast now and I’ll only break your arms a little bit.

Wodwick? took a step forward and adjusted the brim of his hat.

Wodwick?: I’ve seen that mark of his before. I’ve seen what it did to my home. Nobody’s going through that again. Not on my watch.

BATTLE SCENE: Wodwick?
Sauphara’s Psionic Charge kicked in!

Sauphara: We can handle him. Revelian, Zachary - go and find Jast.

Delinius swung his axe! Wodwick? took 891 damage! Wodwick? was burned!

Sauphara fired an energy blast! Wodwick? took 2847 damage!

Wodwick? activated a Force Field from his belt! Wodwick? took 1119 burn damage.

Umbra unloads with her mini-gun! Wodwick? took 4689 damage!

Wodwick's Bullet Time kicked in! Wodwick? healed 4689 HP!

Delinius launched Fireballs! Wodwick? took 143 damage! Wodwick? took 140 damage! Wodwick? took 144 damage! Wodwick? took 139 damage! Wodwick? took 110 damage! Wodwick? took 116 damage! Wodwick? took 117 damage! Wodwick? took 108 damage! Wodwick? took 110 damage!

Sauphara used PSI Freeze! Wodwick? took 3182 damage! Wodwick? was knocked down!

Wodwick?'s Force Field absorbed the stun! Wodwick? combat rolled back into position.

Wodwick? did a Hat Trick! Delinius was knocked down! Sauphara and Umbra are not affected.

Wodwick? took 1021 burn damage.

Umbra launched a rocket! Wodwick? took 1840 damage! Wodwick?'s Force Field shorted out!

Delinius gets to his feet.

Sauphara fired an energy blast! Wodwick? took 2899 damage!

Wodwick?: Aghh, which button was it...

Wodwick? repaired his Force Field! Wodwick? took 1048 burn damage.

Umbra launched a rocket! Wodwick? took 2128 damage!

Wodwick's Fool Me Once kicked in! Reverting move...

Umbra launched a rocket! Wodwick? took 0 damage!

Umbra: Hey, what gives?!

Delinius swung his axe! Wodwick? took 1054 burn damage.

Wodwick's Fool Me Twice kicked in! Reverting move...

Delinius swung his axe! Just barely missed!

Sauphara used Mind Charge! Next magic attack will deal double damage!

Wodwick? popped a nanite capsule from his belt! 3865 HP restored. Wodwick? took 2172 burn damage.

Umbra is on guard.

Umbra: Delinius, remember that one time that sad flaming businessman got pantsed at the holiday party?

Delinius: ... Yes? I was directly involved in... ah. I understand.

Delinius conjured up a Meteor! Wodwick? took 0 damage!

Wodwick?'s Third Time's The Charm kicked in! Reverting move...

Wodwick?: Wait, did you miss-

Delinius conjured up a Meteor!

Wodwick?: Blast it.

Wodwick? took 4468 damage!

Sauphara used PSI Freeze! Wodwick? took 6145 damage! Wodwick? was knocked down!

Wodwick?'s Force Field absorbed the stun! Wodwick? staggers back into place.

Wodwick? did a Hat Trick! Delinius was knocked down! Sauphara is unaffected. Wodwick? took 2046 burn damage.

Wodwick?: Where'd she-?

Umbra strikes the back of Wodwick?'s belt with her gun.

Wodwick?: ... Hot sauce.

Wodwick?’s Compulsory Evacuation Mechanism kicked in!

The battle concluded.
Delinius: Quickly, to the others!

## Chapter 14 - The Maintenancekeeper

Zachary had spent the past few minutes staring at the man, mouth agape.

Revelian: Well, I knew it.

Zachary: No you didn't.

Revelian: ... Yeah, no, I didn't.

Umbra: Revelian! We're here! We're- uh...

Sauphara: ... Is that...

Delinius: Hot Sauce.

The Maintenancekeeper: Pepper, actually, but that's quite enough of that.

The one known as the Maintenancekeeper stood in an otherwise-bland antechamber, facing the group with a blank expression. He held the likeness of Delinius, with only a few notable departures: he was much shorter, wore quite different attire including some scientific eyewear, and had a distinct mustache.

Delinius: It's you.

Revelian: Uh, care to elaborate?

Zachary: If this is another Xavier situation, I swear-

The Maintenancekeeper: Nothing as you so fear, Zachary. I am not a mockery of the Delinius you know - I am simply my own variant. As has been explained to you all, my interests are united with yours, whether you see that or not.

Delinius: Interests aside, your actions have proven otherwise. Explain yourself.

The Maintenancekeeper: The Battery is dangerous to your timeline. Should he be allowed to remain in proximity with the rest of you, uninhibited, his abilities will further soak into you and your home.

Revelian: The power creep that that grasshopper lady mentioned. It'll make us stronger, right? We've beaten everything the universe has thrown at us so far.

The Maintenancekeeper: You're a fool to challenge the universe so. You have experienced but a fraction of the horrors your reality has to offer. The stronger you become, the more attention you will attract. Entities and events beyond your attention will be drawn to you. Your defeat is inevitable, and ultimately none of my concern - but the Battery will bring about the end of your timeline.

Zachary: You act like you know all of this! If you can see all of it happening, can't you do anything to stop it?

The Maintenancekeeper: That's precisely what I have been trying to do. If you are so hellbent on your own destruction that you would keep him alive based on your own sentimentality, so be it - I will keep him alive. But he will remain here, in a place already deserted outside of this encampment.

Umbra: "Here" as in Artemus? Why is this place any safer than with us?

The Maintenancekeeper: It would be beyond your understanding to elaborate, but you are not simply in the Artemus of your timeline. But to keep things simpler - no, I mean "here" as in this containment unit. Jast should be arriving in just a moment.

He turned his attention to a giant black box beside him, fitted with a window on one side. In an instant, Jast poofed into existence inside of it.

Jast: Ow.

The Maintenancekeeper: The Battery will find it quite difficult to escape from the Industrial Temporal Fara-

Revelian: You’ve gotta be kidding me, you’re keeping him in a fucking *Anti-Random Box?!*

The Maintenancekeeper: -day... excuse me, what?

Zachary: Nevermind that. Answer me one thing - will we be able to see him again?

Jast: Actually, I've got a lot more things I want answered, too, if that's okay-

The Maintenancekeeper: No. This timeline is a vacuum - his power creep will have nowhere to go but to the faithful inhabitants of Artemus. Your visits will still leak energy onto you, and frequent travel will alert dangers from your timeline to our location. We can arrange audio and visual communications-

Revelian: Hey, shitty-old guy-Delinius! News flash - we’re not leaving without him.

Delinius: Jast is an asset to our world and a dear friend to us. You will do no such thing keeping him prisoner in an Anti-Random Box.

The Maintenancekeeper: It's an Industrial Tempor-

Zachary: So how about we all bring him home before we have to force you to?

The Maintenancekeeper: You are making the most disastrous mistake of your entire li-

The comical ringing of a battle anchor being dropped onto someone reverberated through the room, clanging off of The Maintenancekeeper's shoulderpad. He turned with an unnerving intensity at the assailing object, then stared at his captive.

Jast: ... Huh, so *that's* what happens to an anchor if you steep it in Lodinland for a day. Anyway, what they said...

An impressive dance of lights and portals whizzed around the container. When all cleared, it was empty, and Jast - surrounded by friends - took up his weapon.

Jast: ... this battery's going home.

The Maintenancekeeper faced the six and took a deep breath.

The Maintenancekeeper: The hard way, as you wish.

## Chapter 15 - Downtime

BOSS BATTLE: The Maintenancekeeper
Jast’s Battery Leak kicked in!

Sauphara’s Psionic Charge kicked in!

**Data corrupted. Skipping scene...**

The battle concluded.
## Chapter 16 - All’s Well That Ends

Revelian: Huff... huff... had enough, old man?!

The Maintenancekeeper: As your timeline’s version of myself would be happy to tell you, I’m more than a match for you.

Revelian: Fat chance- wait, what?

He turned to Delinius, who simply shrugged.

The Maintenancekeeper: And as fascinating as it would be for my records to balance my own skills against all of yours, that is not my mission. Continuing this fight would solidify myself as an enemy in this Delinius’ eyes.

Delinius: I wouldn’t quite call myself a friend of yours currently.

The Maintenancekeeper: I can live with that. We shall work to make amends in the future. It’s quite clear that, for now, the fate of your timeline has been sealed by your unwavering allegiances to one another, unfortunately with the Battery in your merry group.

Jast: ... Thanks...?

The Maintenancekeeper: Valenz was quite right in her report, however. The rate at which the power creep spreads is not only incredulous, but the absorption you all have of it may give you enough of a fighting chance for the time being. Not forever, but at least temporarily.

He adjusted his eyewear and put away his weapons. Everyone else lowered their guard slightly.

Zachary: So, what, you’re just giving up?

The Maintenancekeeper: We are on the same side. You seem unwilling to compromise to meet us, so myself and my crew will shift in your favor instead. I will have Perdax begin working on a limiter to mitigate the effects of Jast’s leak-

Umbra: Hold on, that was an option **the whole time?!**

The Maintenancekeeper: - and that should keep everything in order until the Reckoning comes.

Revelian: Sorry, the fucking *what* now?

The Maintenancekeeper: An inevitability for your reality, as it would seem. I will speak again with Delinius when the time comes to ensure that the right steps may be taken when it does, but for now, I urge you to make preparations for the next threat.

Zachary: Which I’m guessing you’re not gonna tell us about.

The Maintenancekeeper: I am not here to play the role of an oracle.

He raised his fist to his chest.

Umbra: Ugh, that feeling again...

Sauphara: Time-travel...!

The Maintenancekeeper: Timeline-travel. Fear not. I am merely sending you back to your homes. Perdax will see to Jast’s limiter once it is completed, and Delinius should expect visits from myself in the future...

Delinius: Hmph.

The Maintenancekeeper: As one watching over you, my final warning: *your timeline is Doomed.* The universe will continue to bend in catastrophic ways, and your only solace may have to come from unorthodox sources... perhaps even the help of one I call an enemy. At the end of all things, if you have nowhere else to turn, seek ALGIDAS.

Delinius: Who-

In a dizzying flash of light and moments, everyone found themselves in the sealed-off basement of IDC, playing cards raining down on them.

Jast: ... Hey, look, seven of eyepatches!

Zachary: We’re home...

Umbra: Was that... was that really it?

Revelian: We didn’t even have to kill anyone this time. That feels weird.

Delinius: This was all too strange. I can only imagine what this reality has in store for us next...

## Chapter 17 - Were You Expecting Plot? HEHA!

The ground floor cafeteria at IDC, no longer located on the ground floor...
A massive crowd stared into the aftermath of the brutal scene. Everyone had realized quite quickly that Revelian’s labyrinthine pet Zoras had been released into IDC by complete accident - Nat had informed the first batch of onlookers that he believed it was “Bring Your Pet to Work Day” - and after making their collective peace that today would not be a productive work day for anyone, they eventually congregated to the one floor where something terrible had played out. Of course, nobody knew what that terrible thing *was*. The eyes of all bystanders fell on the two survivors.

Poisonshot: (Samuel.)

Samuel: (Yeah.)

Poisonshot: (I thing this is our Wodwick.)

Samuel: (Yeah.)

The two loomed over their coworker, suit tarnished by a flurry of cookie crumbs, who was face-down on the floor. He raised a surrender flag made from his own undershirt in front of him.

Samuel: (Play it cool. We’ve got this.) HEAR US, PEOPLE OF ISLES-DECURRO. WE, SAMUEL AND POISONSHOT, REIGN VICTORIOUS THIS DAY OVER THE TYRANNY OF CAPTAIN DEE.

Poisonshot: DEAD. HE IS DEAD. THAT IS THE END OF WODWICK.

Wodwick: \*voice muffled by the floor\* Oh, great Samuel and Poisonshot, you have bested me. Truly, I am slain forever.

Samuel: YES! LET NONE EVER CHALLENGE OUR SUPERIORITY, LEST YOU FALL LIKE THE LATE CAPTAIN BEFORE OUR MIGHT. THUS ENDS THE THREE-HOUR COOKIE WAR.

IDC Worker: Hold on a second, this was only two hours!

Poisonshot: Please, do not say like that. Mush disrespectful.

IDC Worker: Fair enough.

Everyone took turns paying their respects to Wodwick while Funeralshot played a somber melody.

## Chapter 18 - The Guy in the Tie

Icarus: *Anything* else you need?

Jast: I’m fine! I promise, I’m fine. Thank you.

Icarus: Alright... I’m happy you’re home.

Jast: Me too... me too. Goodnight, you lot.

Stompy: Don’t get sick ever again, ever!

Jast: I’ll do my best, Stompy.

His pets left the room. Jast tossed his sheets back onto the mattress, lazily smoothed them out, then sat at the edge of the bed. He sighed and shut his eyes, feeling nothing sit down next to him.

That didn’t stop the man from doing so.

When Jast opened his eyes, he saw him once again - a gridmask with white hair held up in a bun, tussling the chain on his neck between his fingers. Jast couldn’t focus on his face and instead went for his most prominent accessory.

Jast: Tie-guy.

?: Battery.

He stopped his fiddling.

?: What’s your name?

Jast answered.

Jast: Yours?

?: Just call me Bax.

The two sat in uncomfortable silence.

Jast: Sorry for killing you.

Bax: As much as it ticks me off... it wasn’t your fault. Something always happens. Nobody can stop it.

Jast: Huh?

Bax: Nevermind. Jast, I’m not gonna pretend I’m nuts about you running around living my life, but...

Jast looked down.

Bax: ... but that’s just it - it’s not my life. It’s yours.

Jast: You mean it?

Bax: I do. I get to see how this scene plays out in so many ways, now. So many years, so many lifetimes, so many lives I get to spend with my friends... I can’t be mad you’re taking the helm for one of them. I mean... I’m still mad. I’m gonna be mad for a while. But it’s not fair that I’m dragging you down, too. Not when you were the one to make it out alright.

He bowed his head, then pulled off his necklace. A pendant, a metal conch, rested in his palm for a second. He reached for Jast’s hand, and - to Jast’s surprise - touched it, opened it, and placed the jewelry inside it.

Bax: When you look at that, you remember that there are a lot of people here who care about you, and you don’t ever take it for granted, got it? Don’t worry about me and the family. We’ve got each other now.

Jast nodded, wiping a tear from his eye with his free hand.

Bax: Then that’s all we’ve got to say.

Jast: You’re... leaving? For real?

Bax: For good.

Jast sniffled once. Bax got up slowly, then walked towards the closed door, fading from visibility with each step.

Jast: ... See ya.