Why I Don't Have a "Face Reveal"

**Why I Don't Have a "Face Reveal"** is an animation created by Jaiden Animations, uploaded on April 6th, 2017.

This was the first video where Jaiden was colorless and her animation style was a lot larger than her previous video.

## Synopsis

Jaiden explains why she had never officially shown her face before in a long emotional story.

## Plot

### Why she didn't want to reveal herself

The first reason Jaiden never showed herself before was that she did not want people to judge her content and who she is based on what she looked like. Appearances can make someone famous or be disliked. Jaiden was fine with people that did not like her of what she does, but not what she looks like. She was extremely shy and preferred to keep her privacy.

### Doubts

This story explains the main reason. Jaiden never told people her problems thinking she could solve them herself, and she did not want to mentally hurt anyone. When Jaiden was young, she had a lot of confidence, and people kept saying nice things to her and complimenting her. As Jaiden got older, she started having doubts, thinking people were lying to her and did not mean what they said. Jaiden started telling herself that she was not good enough and needed to get better. Her standards started slowly rising without her realizing. By the time Jaiden graduated from high school, she thought she was not good enough for anything, even with all the compliments she was receiving. Jaiden went to college still not feeling good enough and her standards kept getting higher, as if the top of a staircase was kept getting higher before she could reach it. The thought of not doing good enough started seeping into her low self-image.

### Hunger

Jaiden started eating less food in an attempt to be happier, even though she was naturally thin. All Jaiden could think about was every detail of what she ate that day. Soon she started building up fears and rules and began making irrational decisions. Jaiden went through the excruciating process of starving herself by eating close to nothing, then at the end of each day eating a lot to stop the pain, and then throw it up. This went on for several months and she did not remember anything from that experience except being tired and sad all the time. Jaiden was getting thinner but she did not think she was good enough. Eventually, Jaiden was able to break through and try to get better. The hard part about eating disorders is breaking out, as if she was trapped in a jail cell and kept being dragged back into happiness and protection. She had to not only face her fears but also live them.

### Weight

When a person's body is starving, it does not get enough food to create energy for itself, so it starts slowing down the metabolism and conserves the energy for keeping the heart pumping and the organs working. When the body is fed again, it does not go back to normal right away and ends up storing energy for the next starvation, and the metabolism is still slow. Jaiden believes that people can be happy with their weight and not feel ashamed, and that it is not weight that should matter, but how people think of themselves.

### Voice

When Jaiden was trying to recover, it was all by herself. She did not tell anyone what she was going through and it was difficult. Jaiden had to be both the doctor and the patient in that situation. She still had the negative voice in her mind. She did not want to hear it and kept telling herself that everything was fine, but the voice was still there. At this point, Jaiden did not want to be seen by anyone and wanted to stay in her room forever.

### Support?

There was one event Jaiden promised to go to: VidCon 2016. She already planned to go in advance before her big downfall. On the one hand, all her friends and supporters were going to be there and she needed to go there too and not let them down. On the other hand, she was still in a terrible state and was not ready to be seen by everyone. After panicking for a bit, she decided to pretend to be fine and go to VidCon. Even though Jaiden felt a lot of discomfort because of how different she became, she still had some side effects from her eating disorder. Her weight was higher than her average and her cheeks were swollen from throwing up for many months. It was a new low for her self-image and self-esteem, but she kept trying to push through it. She let people take pictures, which she regretted. Jaiden never felt so low in her life.

### Betrayal

After the convention, Jaiden still felt awful. All she did to make herself getting better was not paying off. The negative voice was even louder than the positive voice. There was one unspecified person in the convention who was making video footage, and since Jaiden did not want people on YouTube to see her when she was still in that horrible state, she asked the person to send her the footage so she could censor her face and send the person the censored version. The person agreed and Jaiden spent the afternoon editing the video. When she finished and sent over the censored version, the person decided to post the original video. Mortified, Jaiden explained why she did not want to show herself, but the person still would not go for it. Jaiden had disagreements with that person, but she never felt so betrayed. She concluded that the video would already be posted and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

### Darkness

The video caused Jaiden to end up in the nightmarish reality where so many people would unknowingly see her in the darkest lowest point of her life, and the people with expectations of what Jaiden would look like, would be really disappointed. Jaiden felt like she had just plummeted into the deeper darker part of the void and was drowning in waves of emotions that keep pulling her down. She started having even darker thoughts and the negative voice was completely silencing the positive one. Jaiden wanted to wake up and be happy again. She felt like black fog was surrounding her and the dark waves were even more powerful than before.

### Light

Despite the dark feelings, Jaiden kept pushing through everything without an exact reason why. She wanted to be there for anyone who could not help themselves so she could help them. Jaiden considers herself weak and could get knocked down easily. However, she feels like it does not matter about her strength, but what matters is, she keeps getting back up. Jaiden does not want to live in the past nor change it, she wants to keep moving forward. Jaiden suggests helping others in need and eventually learning how to self-help.

### The face

Jaiden tried to keep the video as short as possible so it would not be boring. She even thought of one day writing a novel about all the things she felt at that time. Not knowing what else to say, Jaiden thanked the viewers and broke the censor bar she had throughout the video. Then the video ends with a small clip officially revealing her actual face.

## Reception

Like many of her videos, the reception is positive. Many viewers commented on and liked the face reveal at the end.

## Trivia

* The end of this video is the first official time Jaiden's face was shown.
* The video comes with an epilepsy warning, which mostly occurs on the censored part of her face.
* Jaiden revealed her mother's face in *New Member of the Family!*, which was uploaded a year prior.
* At 2:43, there is an actual picture of Jaiden (with her face scribbled out) and possibly her brother Jax and their mother (with both faces blurred out).
* The drawing of Jaiden starving herself at 3:27 was used as the thumbnail for the TinyStars re-upload of Impersonation Accounts.
* One of the most speculated suspects for the unspecified blogger is It's Alex Clark. After this video was published, he deleted his 2016 VidCon and Disney vlog. Even though many viewers asked him if he was the unspecified blogger, he made no public response.
* Jaiden's face was also unintentionally revealed in the Let Me Explain Studios 2016 VidCon Recap video. Rebecca Parham offered to take it down, but despite the early face reveal, Jaiden let her keep it.
* In TheOdd1sOut Q&A video, one of the questions was for James to convince Jaiden to do a "face revival" (face reveal). James messaged Jaiden asking her to do a "face revival" and she said, "I'll put it on the list."