Episode 118 - Finding the Worst City Ever

Ok! We are ready to do this whole “save the world” thing. Just one quick stop. Just a tiny little short pause on the world saving bit. JUST a slight detour to save Bucky. Heck, this place has gone bad in a big way, so you just have to make time to help out your friends/ adopted son. The thing you never think about as an adventurer though, is what will you do once you find the terrible place that your friend has been taken to? What if it is so bad that you regret ever attempting to save them? This life is hard.

## **Story**

The party leaves Riekert Svenson's house of horrors with food that he made for them, which they don't eat. They spend a long time talking to/about Svenson, and his shitty poisoned food. Harper says Svenson is nothing, a nobody, that he won't even be added to the wiki, which is true! Thom wants to go and find Bucky, and Harper indignatly reminds him of the time he wanted to go save *his* family, but the other railroaded him into doing something else. Then he jumps atop Peter the Griffon.

They decide to commune with Ros again, since it's been a while. Harper sends out the message:

*"Ros, on our way*
*How are you? How are things?*
*Where are you?*
*Have you watched* House of Cards*?" (19 words)*
She replies:

*"'Arper,*
*Captured by Gnoll Demons*
*South east of the stinking hole where Caer used to be*
*Bucky still alive*
*Come quick, please*
*We are in--" (25 words, message cuts off)*
They remark on how rude she is for not answering the *House of Cards* question, and Zird the Arcane tells them that the gnolls that have Ros and Bucky worship Yeenoghu, and that there is a wide grassy plain south east of where they are that is similar to Yeenoghu's domain, and also that the gnolls travel in a large moving city, so they will be pretty easy to spot from the air. Jaela notices, off in the distance a Vrock, and they all fly up to it, Thom taking point. He is able to seduce the creature and pry information on where Bucky may be. This Vrock's name is Geoff.

They are eventually directed toward the Gnoll army. They notice an area of the plane that the Gnolls had been. A mile wide and smelling of blood, the area serves to let the group know exactly what they're in for when they find this army. Harper, with the help of Jaela, makes a one-way cloud that they can see out of, that will hide them as they ride their griffons toward this army. They eventually coming up on the moving city, being carried by gnolls.

## **Trivia**

* Michael wants everyone in 2018 to tweet at everyone the phrase "Rose Gold". You all know what to do!
	+ @thriftynerd
	+ @TimLanning
	+ @JenniferCheek
	+ @Nika\_Howard
	+ @themikebachmann
* The Trevor Project, y'all!
* Aludra Eats the Bacon!
* Harper has ~~an otter~~ a badger that he uses as an animal sender to deliver messages and eke out information, and whatnot
* It's been about a week since they last communicated with Adira Harper
	+ There's almost no way this is correct, since that was in Episode 83 - Voices in the Night, 35 episodes ago
* Thom fucked that cat lady

## **In This Episode...**

### **Cast and Player Characters**

* Michael DiMauro - *Dungeon Master*
* Tim Lanning - Lord Titus Harper
* Jennifer Cheek - Aludra Wyrmsbane
* Mike Bachmann - Thom Vidalis / Steve Meloncamp
* Nika Howard - Jaela

### **Non-Player Characters**

* Riekert Svenson
* Ros
* Zird the Arcane

### **Locations**

* Outside Riekert Svenson's place
* The sky
* A grassy plane
* Yeenoghu's Moving City

### **Quest Log Updates**

* [On-hold] - End the Demon Apocalypse / Kill Fennekin
	+ [On-hold] - Destroy the Demon Portal device with the Hammer of Sundering
* [On-hold] - Find Adira Harper
	+ [On-hold] - Investigate the "Devil" situation northwest of Mastwick
* [Active] - Rescue Bucky and Ros
	+ ~~[Complete] - Investigate the "Gnoll" situation southwest of the burning hole where Caer used to be~~
	+ [NEW][Active] - Infiltrate Yeenoghu's Moving City
* [Optional] - Clean up Drunkeros
	+ [Optional] - Investigate the Mind Flayers in the Swamps of Ichtaka
	+ ~~[Complete] - Investigate Yeenoghu's Army~~
	+ [Optional] - Investigate Pyre ruling Mastwick
	+ [Optional] - Investigate the Church of Bahamut's army
	+ [Optional] - Recruit the assistance of the Dwarves in Deephome
	+ [Optional] - Recruit the assistance of the Elves in Galanthis
* [Backburner] - Find a way to get Steve Meloncamp out of Thom's head

### **Quotes**

**"Holy shit, Jennifer! Oooooh, my nipples!"** ~ *Tim Lanning 2015*

## **Rolls**

* **Recap**
	+ Tim - 5 - Bapped
	+ Nika - 2
	+ Bachmann - Nat20
	+ Jennifer - *Either didn't roll, or I just didn't hear it*
		- Tim asked what the odds are of four people rolling a 1 or a 20. Given that the odds of 1 person rolling either of those two numbers is 10%, then think of if one of them doesn't, 90%, and multiply it amongst four people, 65.6%, then that means that the probability of any cast mate rolling a Nat1 or a Nat20 is 34.4%! This is, in my mind, not super unlikely.

* **Harper** rolls *Intimidate* to get Riekert Svenson to tell the truth about the poisoned food - *"Holy shit, Jennifer! Oooooh, my nipples! Look at what that says!"* - Dragons of Tarkier face, which is a Nat20
	+ Success - he tells them it is poisoned.

* **Aludra** rolls *Nature* to see if the next batch of food is poisoned - 29
	+ Success - yeah, it's poisoned.

* **Harper** then *Arcana* checks to see how magically powerful Svenson is - 33
	+ Success - he is almost blinded by the intense magic eminated from him.

* Everyone rolls a *Perception* check
	+ Thom/Steve - 2
	+ Harper - 19
	+ Jaela - 21
	+ She sees either a very large bird or a Vrock
	+ Aludra - 19

* **Thom** rolls ~~*Animal Handeling*~~ a *Nature* check to catch up to the Vrock - 24
	+ Success - He does do that thing.

* **Harper** rolls *Arcana* to detect magic from the Gnoll horde location - 17
	+ He does not sense any magic.

* **Aludra** does *Nature* to see if there are tracks leading to the army - 25
	+ Everything looks trampled.

* **Jaela** does a *Religion* check to see what she knows about Yeenoghu - 32
	+ She knows that he would not personally be walking around on the Primaterial plane, that he would probably send his aspect, and that he would have his moving city with him.

* '*Harper* rolls *Arcana* to make a cloud to disguise them - 28
	+ Jaela aids to add 2 - Nat20
	+ Success! - they make a one-way cloud.