Niledew

> *"I'm sorry, Otterpaw."*
>
>

Roleplayed by @Clovertoe3352

### Immediate Family

Larkspring - Father(deceased), Hollywind - Mother(deceased), Troutkit - Brother, Breamkit - Sister,

## Physical Description

A tall, lean tom with a slender long tail. He has a light grey pelt with white and dark grey splotches here and there. He has a white mask, overlapping his black ears, that reaches down to his muzzle, then spreads out at his chest before ending. One of his back paw pads have quite a bit of pink on them, the rest are almost completely black. His nose is half-black, half-pink. His eyes are pale lime green and narrow like his father's as well.

(original written by iceclimbers4life, edited by clovertoe3352 to fit redesign)

## Personality

Nilepaw is a bit quieter than his siblings. He has a fascination with anything small and alive, including bugs, plants, and prey. He used to try to refuse eating real prey as a kit because he thought that rodents and birds were too cute and fish were too pretty. He’s a bit shy, and definitely an overthinker. These thoughts tend to get to him, and he might get up in the middle of the night looking for his parents, siblings, or friends, with tears in his eyes.

It’s quite easy to coax things out of him, though he’ll try to not tell he’ll likely fail. He’s an awful fighter as he can’t bring himself to truly hurt his enemies, and not very good at hunting, either, for obvious reasons (he does start eating prey, of course, but he still feels bad for hurting such cute, small animals) He makes friends easily and grows very close to these cats, and would sacrifice his own life for a cat he isn’t even exceptionally close with.

He’s very quick and can run like a WindClan cat, and he’s almost as good at swimming as he is at running. Though he isn‘t good at land hunting, he is a great fisher because he likes collecting the scales and doesn’t seem to feel quite as bad, what with those bulging eyes and the fact that he has RiverClan blood.

He is good at resolving arguments between cats, being able to put away his own unease when he feels he’s needed. He’s a very curious cat, and is inquisitive about the world around him.

## Skills & Weaknesses

**[+]** Friendly

**[-]** Shy

**[+]** Creative

**[-]** Scaredy-kit

**[+]** Great fisher

**[-]** Terrible hunter

**[+]** Kind

**[-]** Self-conscious

**[+]** Fast

**[-]** Weak

## Life

### **Kithood**

**Birth**

Nilekit was born on May 7, 2021 (I think?) by his mother, Hollywind, with his 2 siblings, Breamkit and Troutkit.

**0 Moons**

Nilekit is a scaredy-kit! Mousekit terrified him by threatening him with the word "no", Nilekit discovered his love for bugs, drawing, and words, Flarepaw gifted him a beautiful feather, and he found a good hiding spot in the bedding of his nest, all in his first moon of life.

Nilekit seems to have hallucinations often, triggered by violent acts, thoughts, sounds, tastes, even. Anything violent will set Nilekit off with hallucinations of dead or dying animals, blood everywhere. Let's just hope these hallucinations don't get worse as he gets older...

**1 Moon**

By this point, all of the other kits Nilekit grew up with had some grasp of language. Nilekit understood speech and could use it perfectly well in his mind, but his mouth failed to communicate, only sending out babbles, mere ghosts of what they were intended to be. And so he practiced, hard, to learn how. Thus far all he's gotten down to pat is "I am Nilekit. I like bugs.", but it's definitely progress! Sadly, his failures have scared him away from speaking, and for now, at least, he remains completely non-verbal, practicing only when he's very sure it's private.

Otterkit rips up a mossball. Nilekit hallucinates a mouse and freaks out. Otterkit calms him down. Nilekit shows him his art. Otterkit is pretty blind and is unable to see the thin marks in the dust. Otterkit sneezes, blowing dust into the air. Nilekit bites his lip too hard and makes it bleed. Nilekit panics, because Otterkit apparently doesn't like him anymore, there's dust in his eyes and nose and mouth, and because now he's hallucinating that he just killed and ate something. Nilekit throws up.

So that's nice :)

**2 moons**

I decide not to document anything, so this will be left unrecorded.

**3-6 moons**

Nilekit practices speech avidly, gaining the ability to talk! Though, he speaks very strangely. His hallucinations become less frequent but are certainly still there. He doesn't want to become an apprentice, but it's inevetable.

Larkspring tells his kits the truth: Gingerwish is not their mother. Their real mother is dead. Nilekit suspected this but is devastated nonetheless.

Nilekit has a long chat with Hawkkit one night as they watch the moon go down and the sun go up, discussing StarClan and stuff like that because kits tOtAlLy realistically act like this. As the sun comes up, the very rare green flash occurs, and Nilekit concludes it's better to focus on real life than StarClan before biting his lip until it bled and running away before he could have a breakdown.

He becomes an apprentice the next day.

### **Adolescence**

Nilepaw is apprenticed to Plumstream.

Nilekit accidentally joins in a huge game of truth-or-dare with all the apprentices and young warriors. He is dared to act crazy, and interprets "crazy" as "dumb". He then proceeds to run directly into a rock, that being the dumbest thing he could think of. After that, he dared Breampaw to eat mouse-bile.

Larkspring, his father, dies. Antwhisker, his aunt, also dies. Nilepaw is flung into a deep depressive state that lasts 3 moons, thus delaying his warrior ceremony by having to take time off from training.

## Family

Name - Form of relation - Alive or dead? - Nilekit's thoughts - Times roleplayed with - Level of closeness, ranked 1-10

Hollywind - Mother - Deceased - "I have but one fragment of a memory, of Hollywind. I love you..." - 0 - 7/10

Larkspring - Father - Deceased - {Nilepaw has nothing to say.} - 3 - 10/10

Breampaw - Sister - Alive - "She is a puzzle, to me. Switching, back and forth, from shy and quiet to loud and bouncy. Very confusing." - 2 - 6/10

Troutpaw - Brother - Alive - "I actually do not know him so well. We are so different in all the wrong ways..." - 1 - 3/10

Waspsnow - Aunt - Alive - "She is not really my aunt, hahah. Not by bl... Bl-blood... But we are related by love." - 4 - 7/10

Antwhisker - Aunt - Deceased - {Nilepaw has nothing to say.} - 0 - 5/10

## Friends

Name - Alive or dead? - Nilekit's thoughts - Level of closeness, ranked 1-10

Otterpaw - Alive - "Fun! Really fun. He gets scared sometimes, like me, too. We're alike. The cat I know most, in all of the Clan, and vice versa." - 4 - 9/10

Flarepaw - Alive - "She gave me the most wonderful feather! It found me my love for words. The feather is lustrous, and it is called Trouvaille." - 1 - 3/10

Hawkpaw - Alive - "He is... Scary. He is very scary. He attacked me once... Though, we are more alike than we often see, it seems..." - 2 - 5/10

## Enemies

Name - Alive or dead? - Nilekit's thoughts - Level of distaste, ranked 1-10

## Notable Quotes

"Hhhhhai-!" *To Otterkit, Nilekit's first word*

"*I can't believe I'm degraded to these guessing games." In his mind, about being unable to speak well*

"Iiy am Nirlleket!" *To himself, practicing his speech*

"Aunt Waspsnow, do you hear me? You hear, I am telling you right this moment! ... I am... Talking to you." *To Waspsnow, about his speech*

"I think it is best to trust in the real world, not a dream." *To Hawkkit, about StarClan*

"I'm sorry, Otterpaw." *To Otterpaw, about Nilepaw's sadness*

## Notable Scenes

(in order of events)

**Scene 1 - Bugs**

"It was around late evening, and the sky was tinted with pinks and oranges as the sun began to rest. Larkspring padded back into camp after going out on a patrol, a look of peace on his face. Surprisingly, he felt a rush of excitement- he had already met Troutkit, Breamkit, and now perhaps he could see his youngest son! *Troutkit's sweet, Breamkit's confident...I wonder...* The tom padded over to the nursery and popped his head in, looking for Nilekit with a smile. "Hello?"" (by @iceclimbers4life)

"The kit sat quietly in the corner of the den, back turned to his nearby siblings, who were currently sleeping soundly. His tail flicked every so often, and he hunched forward a little. Perhaps he was upset about something? It was unclear." (by @clovertoe3352)

""Nilekit?" he purred, unsure. "It's me. Papa." Larkspring stepped forwards towards the little kit. He had a much lighter coat than the rest of his siblings, and his eyes were lime green like Larkspring's. "Is something wrong?"" (by @iceclimbers4life)

"The little thing squeaked-- A little startled, perhaps, but more in response. He turned around, and Nilekit's eyes widened, pupils dilating as the kit broke into a quiet, slightly-strangled purr. His spiky claws began to knead the earth and he closed his eyes happily." (by @clovertoe3352)

"*Hmm.. it seems he hasn't picked up any words like his siblings.* Larkspring thought worriedly. *It's fine- every kit grows at their own pace, right?* The lanky warrior took a seat in front of Nilekit. "Are you not sleepy?" he asked." (by @iceclimbers4life)

"Nilekit didn't seem to hear. He turned his back again, seeming to check something, then stepped aside. He pointed at a small beetle on the floor-- Pretty big to him, of course-- And squeaked cheerfully. It was black, turned on its back with its little legs waving in the air. The kit glanced back down worriedly, seeming to notice something was wrong, and quickly flipped it right-side up, gazing back up at his father hopefully." (by @clovertoe3352)

"Larkspring blinked and peered closer at the bug which now skittered away into the dark corners of the den. "Good job!" he purred, stroking his son with his long tail. "You helped the beetle." *He seems to like bugs.. that's okay, right?* The tom thought to himself. He felt a touch near his back paw and turned around, eyes wide. A small ant was crawling near his foot as Larkspring gently pushed himself aside. "Here's an ant." he whispered, watching it carefully." (by @iceclimbers4life)

"Nilekit gazed closer, then pointed with a thorn-like claw at another ant. There seemed to be a thin trail. As he realized this he jumped to his feet, following carefully until he reached the end, where there lay a small chunk of meat. Nilkekit's eyes widened and he jumped back, a wail starting in his throat." (by @clovertoe3352)

""Oh no- don't cry-" Larkspring said, rushing over to his son. He saw the small piece of meat and let out a sigh of relief. "Don't worry- thats for them, not you. They need to eat it." he quickly explained, watching the ants take the small pieces out of the den." (by @iceclimbers4life)

"This did not help. Nilekit scuttled underneath Larkspring and buried his face in his father's tail." (by @clovertoe3352)

""Woah little guy, don't be scared." he said quickly, turning to face his son. "They aren't going to hurt anyone, okay?" *What's bothering him? Maybe...* Larkspring looked back at the piece of meat. He flicked it outside the den with his tail." (by @iceclimbers4life)

"Nilekit didn't stop crying, but seemed to calm a little after the meat was gone. he tumbled forward, craving Larkspring's warmth as a comfort, and grabbed onto his tail, kneading." (by @clovertoe3352)

"Larkspring wrapped his tail around Nilekit comfortingly. "There there.. It's alright- the meat is gone now." he purred with a smile." (by @iceclimbers4life)

"The kit only cried more at the word meat, curling up into a sad little ball." (by @clovertoe3352)

"”Shh.. its okay..” he cooed, unsure how to calm Nilekit any more. “How about you go get some rest now?”" (by @iceclimbers4life)

"Nilekit sniffled, peering out from underneath his tail, eyes resting on Larkspring expectantly." (by @clovertoe3352)

"Larkspring quietly padded over to where Nilekit's siblings were snoring away and looked back at the dilute tom. "Get some rest." he whispered. "You'll feel better- I promise!"" (by @iceclimbers4life)

"Nilekit didn't budge, but seeming to realize Larkspring wasn't about to move him, he curled back up even tighter until none of his facial features were visible, and it wasn't long before he loosened a bit and began to snore." (by @clovertoe3352)

"Larkspring purred a bit seeing his son finally at rest, and slowly crept out of the nursery, so as to not disturb him. "Sleep well." he whispered." (by @iceclimbers4life)

**Scene 2 - Feathers**

"Very delicately, [Flarepaw] took her paw off the feather. The wind picked up, lifting the feather off the ground. The feather promptly fluttered back down, the magnificent shades of blue, violet and black catching in the sunlight." (by @\_flares\_)

"Nilekit gasped, his beryl-hued eyes reflecting the indigo plumes like tiny, glowing mirrors. The feather drifted slowly back to the ground, chatoyant in the sun's light until it was dark again, with just the smallest hint of luster lighting the colors. It was truly an out-of-body experience. Nilekit was hypnotized by the lovely display of colors, and the moments replayed in his mind like a broken record. How it caught the sun's light so beautifully, how it drifted with such grace right before his paws. It was godly. Nilekit was almost afraid to touch it, but in the kairos his paw moved before he could stop it to brush the fringe gently. It was such a big feather, about half the miniscule kit's size." (by @clovertoe3352)

**Scene 3 - Tongues**

"Nilekit was not prompted to hide this time. It simply made sense to burrow under the bedding. It wasn't uncomfortable if you knew how to provide yourself with air, and it hid him from any interaction. Also known as verbal failure. Also known as embarrassment, shame, and fear." (by @clovertoe3352)

"His head burst through, sending leaves and twigs flying. He turned to the unknown cat. "Hai?"" (by @clovertoe3352)

"*I'm okay!* "I. Iyy o... Okuh-kuh-kuh... Kkh... Kh. Kah..." He trailed off dejectedly, head drooping at his ultimate failure." (by @clovertoe3352)

"He whimpered, ducking back down under the nest like a mouse ducking into a hole. *But I can't! I can't* tell *anything!*" (by @clovertoe3352)

""Nn... No! Iy. Iyy kuh- Iyy kaht thalk!" He cried sadly." (by @clovertoe3352)

"He paused. *Can she understand me?* "Iym... Thad." He frowned." (by @clovertoe3352)

""Thad!" Nilekit demonstrated by dragging a metaphorical tear down his cheek with his claw." (by @clovertoe3352)

"He nodded unhappily, a real tear streaming down his face now. *I can't believe I'm degraded to these guessing games.*" (by @clovertoe3352)

**Scene 4 - Words**

"Trouvaille. Nilekit had a habit for picking up rare, unique words. Most kits collected things like rocks, or feathers. Well, Nilekit /had/ collected one of the latter. But mostly, it was words. And speaking of the feather, that very feather sat in front of him, indigo and lustrous in the sunbeam shining into the nursery. Nilekit enjoyed drawing, but this was something with such beauty he'd never be able to capture. Trouvaille. Something wonderful, discovered by chance." (by @clovertoe3352)

**Scene 5 - Thoughts**

"Nilekit was hiding under the bedding in the nursery. As usual. He tried to block out his racing mind but it just wasn't working. /What if I made art out of leaves?/ HIs mind flickered and flashed to different images of the red and orange and yellow and brown leaves in various places around camp. One on the branch Larkspring had given him, which was now wilted. One floating in a stream, lazily following the path through the camp. Several clustered in the trees, slowly falling, landing on his nose. His nose! Nilekit's nose! How much time had passed with Nilekit just thinking about leaves?! Probably only a minute or two. But that was a minute or two too much. He sighed, holding his paws over his ears as if that could drown out the thoughts. But they kept coming. Thoughts of art, thoughts of words, thoughts of faces, positive and negative self criticism. They kept coming but not going, staying and clogging up his head, filling it until it was at the brim, near bursting, until it *did* burst, in the form of a squeaky scream. It went on for a few heartbeats, not stopping even when Nilekit noticed what was going on, until he clamped his paws over his mouth, eyes wide. Now all thoughts were gone but one, yet this was not any more pleasant. *I hope no one heard that.*" (by @clovertoe3352)

**Scene 6 - Lights**

"Hawkkit wasn’t so sure. Nothing was black or white; it was always some shade in between. Clearly, these fights had reason and purpose behind them, potentially good ones at that. Though cats dying may have been, well, horrible, maybe there was a point behind it all. Why didn’t StarClan just make everything easier? Cats talk about them like they have that sort of power, but in reality, they don’t seem to. “Why can’t StarClan ever seem to help?” He asked, bitterness seeping into his voice." (by @shadowhat)

"Nilekit was quiet. He looked away from the sky now, at the ground, where patches of grass grew. He could hear the river running distantly, evoking a sense of peace and safety. Suddenly, a light shone across the land and he looked up in surprise. The once-dark sky's stars were fading, and the sky descended into a blue, then a sea green, and finally some yellow. A bright light shone as the sun rose slowly, which wasn't unusual, but that was the thing. A spark of green, like a flame, lit up the sky for just a heartbeat. It was a green nothing like the bluish shade seen in sunrises and sunsets, like the one seen above it right now. It was bright, electric, like grass, but brighter. It reflected off Nilekit's light olive eyes, now widened. It was like nothing he'd ever seen before." (by @clovertoe3352)

"Hawkkit laid his paw on one of the patches of grass, making the tip of each blade lean away from his dark foot. His pink nose twitched a little as he picked up a few scents, but he remained silent. He had been warming up to the sky as of late; he didn’t like it at first because he didn’t understand it, now he felt as though he did. Now as he glanced at Nilekit, he wondered if cats were the same way to him. He would always be cautious around others, but at least he let himself talk to someone without snapping at them this time. He would never be social, but maybe—just maybe—this cat wasn’t too bad. Maybe there was a spark of hope in his life. But no, the thought was ridiculous at best; he would be alone, that was what he wanted. The kit didn’t need friends, or so he thought. “Starclan, why…” he murmured, his voice almost inaudible." (by @shadowhat)

"Nilekit didn't look up from the sky, but his right ear flicked indicating he'd heard. After a heartbeat of silence the kit spoke, words beyond his age. "I think it is best to trust in the real world, not a dream." And if anyone knew this, the frequently-hallucinating cat certainly did."( by @clovertoe3352)

**Scene 7 - Birds**

"Nilepaw was throwing up. Again. It seemed to happen a lot with him, lately. He already had a weak stomach, and the depressive state he was going through seemed to make it many times worse. He had already tried stopping eating altogether-- He wasn't very hungry these days anyways --But he still ended up retching later, and having nothing to cough up made it even more uncomfortable, if that was possible. Nilepaw tried not to think of things, because everything reminded him of one cat. One cat who no longer existed. Birds made Nilepaw think of him, because there was a bird in his name. Rivers and streams, too. How ironic, to be a RiverClan cat but hate thinking of rivers. Nilepaw might have laughed if his jaw could even move, as he sat in the dirtplace, thinking of all of this. Oops. He was thinking about how he *shouldn't* think of these things, and now he had. How ironic. Nilepaw hunched over, retching, though nothing was left. What a pathetic existence, really." (by clovertoe3352)

**Scene 8 - Dreams**

"Nilepaw was in the dirtplace throwing up, as usual. The world was in grey/grayscale, and hurt to look at, so he closed his eyes. Nilepaw's favorite pastime was sleeping, because he had no need to think or see, and his dreams had color. He could only dream of one cat. The dreams weren't true connections, of course. They were dreams of when he was alive. True events and made-up, both. But, his heart split open all over again when he awoke, and he wasn't there. Yet, Nilepaw always found himself craving the sleep again, if only to see him once more, just once more. Really, just to /see/. Feel his presence. Feel /alive/. Nilepaw hunched over, vomiting again. If only he could sleep forever." (by clovertoe3352)

**Scene 9 - Paths**

"Otterpaw was sitting at the back of the apprentice den, just minding his own business. And aside from a faint, overhanging sense of Déjà vu, he was pretty content. The ground bellow his paws was loose and dusty, leaving the young, mess-prone tom with only one option. Dust bath time. He slumped over into the dirt and rolled around wildly, sending plumes of dust up from the ground. He began to laugh, this shortly followed by a sneeze, and with it returned a slightly different sense of Déjà vu, which somehow lead his thoughts to his friend. Nilepaw. He came to a stop as he then realised: hadn't spoken to Nilepaw in a while, and his heart ached at that. He wasn't exactly sure why, it wasn't like he'd been avoiding him or anything of the sorts, it's just...he supposed their paths never crossed. He was always pestering Hawkpaw, along with Mousepaw, in his sleep of course (Otterpaw...was a snorer. And perhaps a kicker. Sorry Mousepaw.), but even he'd been less talkative recently. Maybe Nilepaw was too preoccupied with apprentice duties, or maybe Otterpaw was to preoccupied with his own? He kicked at the ground. Either way, he didn't like it one bit." (by fourdiirtypaws)

"Well, by some lucky chance, today was the day Otterpaw and Nilepaw's paths would cross... However, likely not in the way Otterpaw might imagine. Nilepaw was tall for his age now, having had a large growth spurt recently, but it seemed to have been cut short for whatever reason, leaving his paws and ears too big for his legs as though it hadn't been quite done yet. He was sitting in the dirtplace now, vomiting up whatever he'd managed to eat. When he was done, which didn't take too long, he sat there for a bit longer, eyes dull and staring into nothing. After several minutes he stood, trudging across camp. Nilepaw couldn't bare to face the other apprentices. He'd slept in his muddy corner for what felt like moons now. Maybe it was moons. Nilepaw had lost all sense of time. Now, he slunk across camp, gaze fixed on the floor and hoping no cat would approach them. They usually didn't." (by clovertoe3352)

"Otterpaw lifted his head, ears perked, nose twitching. There was a faint yet distinctly familiar scent floating along the breeze, and- no...it couldn't be...? Slowly, he rolled onto his paws, not bothering to shake off the dust that that now coated his thick pelt. He stuck his head out the entrance cautiously, nose still twitching. His eyes lit up when he caught Nilepaw's scent, the young tom smiling wide, gaze immediately drawn to the grey blur. This was his chance! "Nilepaw!" he yowled excitedly, barreling towards him. Perhaps Nilepaw was getting taller, but Otterpaw seemed not to be. Or, at least, he was growing very, very slowly, now amongst one of the smallest apprentices, though his lively spirit had far from diminished. He collided into Nilepaw with a laugh that choked out when his was confronted, literally head on, with how much his friend had changed. He stepped back, oblivious to the sadness in Nilepaw's eyes. "Hey Nilepaw!" he greeted, voice bursting with uncontainable joy, his tail high. He leapt into a play crouch, just like he would've when they were kits, however he had no intention to play, he was merely that excited. He was so little, all that energy had to go somewhere. "It's been so long!" he exclaimed, bouncing back up." (by fourdiirtypaws)

"Nilepaw's heart cracked in that moment, cracked into pieces like a sheet of cold, cold ice being stepped on by a warm, warm paw. For the first time in what felt like forever he wanted to cry. Nilepaw stepped back a bit, holding back a sob, anguish clear on his face. His tail swished around to wrap around himself tightly, and his ears went straight down. And, for the first time in what felt like forever, Nilepaw could find his words. "I'm sorry, Otterpaw." His voice was small and raspy due to not having used it for quite a while, and due to the tears he was currently trying to hold back. Combined with his speech problems, it was nearly unintelligible. Nilepaw couldn't hold it back any longer and let out a choked sob, hunching over to let a tear run down his face. It wasn't supposed to be like this. No cat was supposed to see this, certainly not Otterpaw!" (by clovertoe3352)