Stathward Global University brochure

The **Stathward Global University brochure** was a publication written, compiled and printed by Stathward Global University in Shade informing people of what the university is and how to apply to it.

## Transcription (WIP)

Stathward Global University.
A place for everyone. A place for you.
Considering excellence
No, you're considering furthering your education. You're about to take an exciting new step of your life! What are you ínto?
Engineering, medicine, arts
No matter your passions, SGU has a program for you, with industry specific connections to get you situated in the job of your dreams, right out the :gate.
Stathward's impressive reputation is a boone to any resume, and our mad-dog legal team is here to defend you if stiuations ever goes awry.
Do you like music? Excellent! Computers? Sure! Healing people? Totally! Law? yeah alright! We've got it all!
This is just a small selection of graduates from our accredited Stock Photo Modelling program- the number 1 such program of its type in Eastern Shade.
Alumnal have continued on to infiltrate all areas of advertising, from Beauty to Extreme Grunge.
Apply now and our exclusive Beauty Computer will calculate your exact value of aestethic validity. Your feelings can't (...) because the machine is 100% objective.
Why choose us?
200 years of experience
Stathward was founded by Gregory Stathward in 023, in an effort to help rebuild what was lost and save what might soon disappear. In this effort he was successful; SGU houses the world's second largest library, and first largest collection of pre-silence literature and film. Our media studies program is the leading resource for old-world, and all alumni get lifetime access to our Media Library.
Premiere Latin education
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Proin at lectus accumsan, molestie elit vel, pharetra diam. Fusce et pharetra nunc. Vestibulum fringilla pellentesque alliquam. Fusce vilamcorper scelerisque quam, pulvinar finibus dolor molestie vel. Curabitur ac arcu non risus tincidunt ornare. Maecanas facilisis, saplen at lacinia tempor, justo dui pulvinar at, facilisis vestibulum diam. Integer vekitpat enim...
Admission
SGU will accept anyone. All we ask is a dedication to learning and passion for discovery, and 5,300 a month in fees.
Our world-famous payment enforcement programs will guarantee that, no matter what life throws at you, you're paying your dues, guaranteed.
Admission papers can be obtained from the Admission Hall of the Global Finance building every second tuesday between the hours of noon and 1pm, or you can mail in questions with an added fee of 2,500.
We look forward to hearing from you.
So what are you waiting for? Enroll now to begin the next step of your amazing journey, as you enter a new world of learning, discovery, and debt.
For 200 years Sathward has been at the forefront of innovation and education. We're not gonna suddenly stop.
Why choose less?
Money is no object
So, you want to attend SGU, but doesn't have the funds?
No worries, no problems. Visit the funds office to fill out the application form, along with
1) A letter of acceptance from SGU
2) ...
3) Original Birth Certificate
4) ...
5) Proof of address
6) ...
7) Application...
8) ...

## Trivia

* The Latin part of the brochure is nonsense, some of it being real sentences but intermixed with non-existing words.

## References

1. ↑ *Salad Mug*, episode 1 of *Dynamo Dream*. Ian Hubert. May 26, 2021.

## See also

* Stathward Global University
* Jo Simon