Conversation Street

Conversation Street is a segment on *The Grand Tour*. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May discuss issues they find relevant. Its purpose is analogous to The News segment from Top Gear, the trio's former show. Conversation Street aired from Series 1 to Series 3. Its name is a parody of well-known British soap opera *Coronation Street*.

The segment was always introduced by Hammond in a comedic way (eg. *"It's time to take a gentle stroll down conversation street"*), with the running joke of the introductions getting more and more elaborate as the show went on. It's then followed by a bespoke title sting featuring silhouettes of the presenters starting from Opera, Arts and Donuts, with another running joke of the presenters comedically doing something different every episode.

## **Series 1**

### *The Holy Trinity*

***Introduction:*** *At this point in the show, we like to sit down and chew the fat about new cars and motoring issues. It's a segment that we are calling Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** The trio are in deep discussion.*

The trio admit that they took so long filming the bespoke intros for Conversation Street that they forgot to research a topic to discuss. However, they do inform the audience that James May – the slowest man ever – had been convicted of speeding. At a whopping 37mph.

### *Operation Desert Stumble*

***Introduction:** Now we must move on, because it's time for us to take a gentle stroll down Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** The trio are in deep discussion.*

The trio discuss the Aston Martin 001, a lightweight hypercar that weighs only 900 kilograms. Mainly Jeremy discusses his dislike of downforce. They also talk about the Bugatti Chiron.

### *Opera, Arts and Donuts*

***Introduction:*** *But now it's time for us to check our mirrors and make a smooth left into Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** Clarkson wears high heel shoes.*

The trio discuss May's initial excitement that Whitby is the center of the UK's jet industry. And then his disappointment upon finding out that they mean the gemstone (loose definition since it is actually coal), and not planes. They also discuss the fall in UK citizens learning to drive.

### *Enviro-mental*

***Introduction:** It's time for us to take a gentle left into Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** Hammond shows off a freaky giant hand.*

The trio discuss the new Ford GT, and the new gender sign traffic lights in London.

### *Moroccan Roll*

***Introduction:** But first, it is now time for us to engage reverse and park neatly in a marked space on Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** May has an owl on his arm.*

The trio discuss which country in the world has the worst police cars. Also, the fate of the otter population in the Netherlands – and the fact they keep being run over.

### *Happy Finnish Christmas*

***Introduction:*** *Right now, it's time to drop in a cog and hook a left into Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** The trio wear Mexican sombreros.*

The trio discuss the staggering amount of accidents in Scandinavia and the massive motoring fines in Finland. Clarkson and May challenge each other on which Cadbury chocolate confectionery makes more of a mess in a car: a Double Decker or a Flake.

### *Berks to the Future*

***Introduction:** Let's do that by popping some loose change in the ticket machine so we can park a while on Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** A stripper dances between Hammond and Clarkson.*

The trio discuss the smog alarm imposed by the Stuttgart government and compares the city with Beijing. May talks about a conversation between a German and a Californian about driving without a licence. Clarkson discusses the motoring fines in Germany, especially if a motorist sets up his car like a police car.

### *Dumb Fight at the O.K. Coral*

***Introduction:** And now we must move on, because it's time now for us to enjoy a gentle stroll along the sunlit sidewalks of Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** The presenters are standing, with Hammond at a significantly smaller height.*

Clarkson brings up the Alfa Romeo Stelvio, much to the annoyance of Hammond. Then the trio discuss why the pickup truck never caught up in the U.K. Also, they talk about the decline of American automotive design. During the conversation, Clarkson brings up an awkward moment at the airport when May mentioned that his jacket smelled of old record players.

### *Italian Lessons*

***Introduction:*** *It's time now for us to take a gentle cruise down the velvety smoothness of Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** Hammond breaks a wine bottle on Clarkson's head.*

May brings up an argument about leather seats in cars. Also, the trio talk about cars designed for women. Clarkson brings up a 1960s electric car called the Scamp and assures to the audience that it is "Scottish" and not "British".

### *[censored] to [censored]*

***Introduction:** And now we must move on, because it is time for us to set the Sat-Nav for Destination: Chat, as we head down Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** Hammond gets hit by a wrecking ball.*

The trio discuss Mercedes-Benz proposing for their owners to rent out their cars. Then they bring up a website that lists the population of cars in the U.K., with the Citroën Saxo and Vauxhall Calibra 16V nearing extinction while the Morris Ital numbering at 47 in 2016 - up from 35 a year prior.

### *Past v Future*

***Introduction:** It is now time for us to visit the Headquarters of Chat and Company, who are of course based on Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** May's head inflates and explodes.*

Clarkson talks about his first trip to Dubai over two decades ago. May discusses the different laws and fines in the city before the presenters come up with their own. Then Clarkson compares Britain's infrastructure investment with that of Dubai.

## **Series 2**

### *Past, present or future*

***Sting:** May is annoyed by a fly hovering around his face.*

May explains his haircut as a result of his identity being stolen. With that in mind, Clarkson and Hammond rename him "Dingleberry Handpump". Clarkson explains that the delay of Season 2's release was due to the trio's health mishaps during production. Hammond talks about Nissan's new seats that record sweat while Clarkson brings up Ford's "Good Neighbour Mode" option on the new Mustang.

### *The Fall Guys*

***Introduction:** But now it is time for us to lean on the Lamppost of Chat in Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** Clarkson ignores and throws a fireball at Hammond.*

Clarkson discusses the 2017 Formula One season highlights such as Kimi Raikkonen setting a world record for the longest chug of champagne at the Mexican Grand Prix. He then brings up the issue of self-driving car owners being bullied. Hammond announces that Clarkson has been approached to be the ambassador of a French vineyard. The presenters then discuss about sponsorship and fashion.

### *Bah Humbug-atti*

***Introduction:** Let's move on, because it is now time for us to peer down a manhole of chat on Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** Clarkson wears reindeer antlers.*

The presenters turn on the lights of the studio's Christmas tree, with Clarkson using a large cross made of LED lights, leading to an argument over him using the wrong religious symbol. Clarkson then brings up Scalextric as the worst Christmas present before the presenters introduce random gifts such as Hammond's Rolex that survived the Rimac Concept One crash, an alarm clock that sets a toy car on fire, a t-shirt with an x-ray of Clarkson's pneumonia-ridden lungs, and a refrigerator with a steering wheel.

### *Unscripted*

***Introduction:** Anyway, shut up because now it's time for us to plant a sapling of chat on Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** Hammond plays a trombone, annoying his colleagues.*

The presenters announce the winners of their awards known as the "Nigels". The Nissan Juke wins the Nissan Juke Award for the Worst Car of the Year. The Hard Ass to Follow Nigel, which is given to the car with the worst-looking rear end, is awarded to the Land Rover Discovery. The You Would But You Know You Shouldn't Award goes to the Chevrolet Corvette ZR1. Hammond wins the Lack of Continuity Award for switching between different cars during his McLaren 720S review. The Accidentally Filling Up the Petrol Tank of a Supercar with Water Award also goes to Hammond.

### *Up, down and round the farm*

***Introduction:** And now it is time for us to pop into the Post Office of Chat on Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** Clarkson drops an anvil on May's head, to no effect.*

The presenters take a look at the upcoming production and concept cars of 2018, such as the Bentley Continental GT, the AMG Project One, the BMW 8-Series, the Lamborghini Terzo Millennio, the Renault Alaskan, and the Dodge Challenger Demon.

### *Jaaaaaaaags*

***Introduction:** But right now, it's time to slide across an icy puddle of chat on Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** May shoots an arrow at Hammond.*

Clarkson talks about the fire brigade's abuse of the "jaws of life", which they use to cut the roofs of cars - whether or not they were involved in a collision. The presenters then talk about the new Aston Martin Vantage. Clarkson brings up Chinese companies using western names before showing a spare parts firm called "Dickass".

### *It's a gas, gas, gas*

***Introduction:*** *Anyway, it is now time for us to plant some daffodils of opinion on the Roundabout of Chat at the end of Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** Hammond vomits a fountain of water.*

The presenters talk about upcoming supercars such as the Devel Sixteen, Ikeya Formula IF-02RDS, Apollo Intensa Emozione, Dallara Stradale, Aspark Owl, Vencer Sarthe, Arrinera Hussarya, Mazanti Evantra Millecavalli, Hennessy Venom, Glickenhaus SCG 004S, and Zenvo TS1 GT, and point out that there are too many new supercar companies cropping out. Then they talk about how women are easily impressed by men doing handbrake turns, and how electronic handbrakes on new cars have ruined it all for men. To remedy this issue, Ford Performance have released an aftermarket manual handbrake they call the "Drift Stick". Clarkson brings up a limited edition Bentley Bentayga designed for hunters. He then ends a segment with a discussion on two U.S. Navy fighter pilots being reprimanded for drawing a penis in the sky.

### *Blasts from the past*

***Introduction:** But right now, it is time to ring the Doorbell of Debate on the House of Chat located on Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** Clarkson and Hammond shoot at each other while May has a knife across his head.*

Clarkson mentions that his hometown of Doncaster has come up with names for two of the town's new snowploughs. He also talks about Formula E's publicity shot of an electric race car competing with a cheetah. The presenters then converse on the Lamborghini Urus and start disagreeing on its name. Clarkson brings up Ford's plans to release a hybrid version of the F-150 pickup truck, despite the fact that F-150 fuel consumption is ranked 28th among their buying consideration.

### *Breaking, badly*

***Introduction:** Right, moving on. Because now it's time to order some donuts of debate from the Chat Cafe on Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** Hammond is being strangled by a bald man with his colleagues deep in discussion.*

Clarkson talks about the third generation BMW Z4, which is designed by men as opposed to the previous model. Hammond then brings up the new Toyota Supra, which is based on the new Z4. Clarkson then talks about former Volkswagen USA's Head of Regulations Oliver Schmidt, who was sentenced to seven years in prison and a fine of £400,000 for his part in Dieselgate. Hammond brings up the new Rimac Concept Two before Clarkson introduces the McLaren Senna. Clarkson and May then argue about the top speeds of birds.

### *Oh, Canada*

***Introduction:** However, now it's time to step in a dog turd of chat on Conversation Street.*

***Sting:** Clarkson and Hammond beat up May with a sledge hammer and an axe.*

The trio talk about why 25% of new cars in Britain are SUVs. May brings up the Ford Transit long wheelbase van and its new features.

## **Series 3**

### *Motown Funk*

***Sting:** The trio shake hands, with May revealing an elongated right arm.*

The trio talk about the economic collapse of the city. Hammond points out that American carmakers contributed to the demise of Detroit by being too cheap on their prices.

### *Pick Up, Put Downs*

***Sting:** Hammond and May play shadow puppets in front of Clarkson.*

The presenters talk about new electric cars such as the Audi e-tron and that Jaguar plans to go all-electric. Clarkson then argues about how charging electric cars is a waste of time and how Uber is not as efficient as the black taxi cab. May previews the new Bugatti Chiron Sport, pointing out that its new carbon fibre windscreen wipers make it 18 kg lighter and £300,000 more than the standard model. He then talks about how a Canadian was able to lower his car insurance premium by declaring himself to be a woman. Clarkson brings up Morgan, which has been constructing their frames out of ash for decades. Because Britain's supply of ash is near depletion, Morgan plans to import their ash from abroad. In addition, Morgan is branching out to manufacture bicycles and hair care products.

### *An Itchy Urus*

***Sting:** Hammond stands taller than Clarkson and May.*

The presenters talk about the trend of modernising old sports cars by taking the bodies and installing newer engines, brakes, and suspensions. Clarkson mentions that Kalashnikov, the company famous for the AK-47, will manufacture electric cars. He also reads a newspaper article about an accident between a motorcyclist and a tank, with the article mentioning that the tank driver was uninjured. He then brings up the W Series, an all-female racing league.

### *Chinese Food for Thought*

***Sting:** May has extremely long arms.*

Clarkson talks about how the presenters took a series of Chinese driving tests prior to filming the episode. They then talk about the Hongqi L5 and its delivery process. Clarkson then brings up the statistics of Chinese car production and the country's strict lottery for a registration plate. Hammond mentions the Wuling Hongguang as the best-selling car in China. Clarkson ends the conversation with the Bestune T77, which features a holographic dashboard assistant.

### *Well Aged Scotch*

***Sting:** Clarkson sits on a step ladder as May saws one of its legs off.*

The presenters talk about May using insulating tape on the rear wheels of Scalextric cars to make them drift. Clarkson explains the driveshaft failure he experienced on his Alfa Romeo GTV6. He then talks about Land Rover working on a system for people who suffer from motion sickness, which leads to the presenters talking about motion sickness stories. Hammond talks about Dubai Police testing a hover bike. Clarkson brings up the Jaguar I-Pace and the issues of charging it.

### *Aston, Astronauts and Angelina’s Children*

***Sting:** Clarkson hits Hammond with a sledge hammer.*

Clarkson talks about the IDR, Volkswagen's new electric all-wheel-drive race car that supposedly generates enough cornering force to cause the driver to black out. Hammond addresses why the Rolls-Royce Cullinan has not yet been featured in the programme. The presenters then talk about flying cars and argue about the point of their purpose as both cars and aeroplanes. Hammond brings up a statistic that Scottish people are the safest drivers in the world.

### *The Youth Vote*

***Sting:** Clarkson injects himself with a drug.*

Clarkson brings up stackable electric cars and how they are supposed to improve public transportation. He then mentions Polish driver Robert Kubica, who is set to return to Formula One after a horrific rallying accident. The presenters then talk about the dilemma of dropping things on the side of the driver's seat. Clarkson and May bring up the speed of different birds, with a duck having been clocked at 52 mph.

### *Legends and Luggage*

***Sting:** Clarkson's head falls off.*

Clarkson brings up how fast fish are. They find it weird that cars are not named after fish. Until they ask the audience, that is, who bring up examples such as the Chevrolet Corvette Stingray, Plymouth Barracuda and Opel Manta. Clarkson talks about a city in Italy with a speed camera and the amazing amount of people who broke the limit. In the UK however a man put a fake speed camera on the side of he's house near the highway; also about the man getting a message to take it down because it was 'distracting' and they take a vote with the audience to have them all taken down. May brings up the Peugeot e-Legend, designed to look like the 504 Coupe, Clarkson thinks it looks like the 505 GTI. Hammond brings up that Peugeot makes dreary crap. Clarkson brings up 'moped thieves'. The police came up with a solution to just ram them. Clarkson thinks they should ram all motorcyclists because encountering one is quite severe.

### *Funeral for a Ford*

***Sting:** Psychedelic light effects strike the screen during the trio's conversation.*

The presenters bring up automotive features that were once considered luxury items such as body-coloured bumpers, head restraints, sunroofs. They then explain how cars clearly symbolised employment status in the 1960s and 1970s. Clarkson brings up the Ford Cortina 1600E, the first car he modified. It had the colorful conservation street