Chips and Chips (Summary)

Introduced by flutist and House Band Diana Morgan, Paula and Adam describe the dangers of drinking milk from random cows, and introduce a new segment more or less identical to their previous one.

## 'Chips and Chips'

### Air date

September 2018

* Adam Felber reveals that Hungarian Professor Joseph Horvath has contacted them, claiming the prize for first University Course to employ the 'Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone' podcast as part of the syllabus. Paula seems alarmed that, given her lacking grammatical abilities, her podcast is being used to teach English to Hungarians. Nonetheless, as a prize, she makes a Balloon Animal in the shape of a picture of a professor teaching a Hungarian class English based on the podcast.
* The cast listens to more Theme Song Contest submissions, in which Paula reiterates that using the word 'Genius' is likely to increase the odds of contestants. To celebrate, Paula makes a Balloon Animal of Buddy Sorel from the Dick Van Dike Show, specifically from an episode involving a cello.
* Paula introduces a new and enduring segment to the show, entitled 'Career Corner,' in which Paula interviews guests in order to find out if she could quit her job as a Comedian and take up a new line of work. The reasoning behind this segment is apparently that Paula at one point received a salad that consisted entirely of raw meat. To begin, Paula and Adam interview expert Blackjack Player Mike Aponte. As the Career Corner segment is functionally indistinguishable from their usual Expert Guest interviews, Paula summarizes Mike's advice as follows:

> *"The container that holds the cards is called a shoe, and it's the only shoe at the table that cards are allowed in. Betting progression is bad. If you're losing, it's throwing good money after bad, and if you're winning, your luck won't last forever. There's a blackjack betting chart that was invented by the army, (during peacetime, I assume). If the dealer has three and you have twelve, you hit, and I knew that! Mike was only here to back me up! You're not supposed to split two tens. But, if I do, and I'm sitting beside you, don't be rude about it. You don't win or lose based on the player sitting beside you. Besides, I'm about to win fourteen million!"*
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* In the following segment, Alision Rue gives Paula and Adam advice on their lacking dietary health, in which Paula learns that neither Double-Stuff Oreos, raw sticks of butter, or dairy products from random cows found on Miranda Street are necessarily healthy when consumed on a regular basis. She summarizes Alison's advice as follows:

> *"Bodies have internal cues for healthy eating, and it's different for different people. New eaters are very good at knowing when they're full; and this is important: We all deserve to use the bathroom comfortably! Cleanses are the new unnecessary craze. Our livers already do a great job of cleansing, and if Ruth Bader Ginsburg's goes bad for any reason, I'll stop eating Double Stuff Oreos to prepare myself to donate my liver to her! (By the way, our nutritionist didn't say that, I did, I just thought it bore repeating.) Butter contains burite, which helps feed gut flora. And there's nothing greater in the spring than a beautiful bouquet of Gut flora!"*
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