How to be a Critic

"*I need to make sure he feels stupid about being wrong.*"
―Erik
How to be a Critic 54th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on August 30, 2016.

## Summary

Erik looks at the critics underneath his videos and replies to one.

Erik explains that a critic is someone that wants to be right about something. He looks at some reviews on Suicide Squad as an example, then he torrents the movie and leaves a review of his own. Then he looks at a publicity still of Pennywise from It and finds a bunch of critics in the comments.

Next, he looks at video game critics and how most of their criticisms are just death threats. He downloads No Man's Sky and kills all of the animals he can find. He enjoys it and leaves a review.

Moving on to critics of Ellen DeGeneres, Erik finds a bunch of people getting upset because her twitter account had a picture of her photoshopped on Usain Bolt's back. Some people think it's racist, so Erik fixes it by photoshopping a bunch of other people riding on people's backs.

Erik then looks at art critics. Specifically, he looks at critics of Steven Universe fan art on tumblr. Then he looks at more angry critics and leaves them a picture of Steven Universe riding on Usain Bolt's back.

Looking at food critics, Erik watches TheReportOfTheWeek review the Whopperito.

Robot wants to help review, so he reviews Ann Coulter's book In Trump We Trust. Then Robot goes on a racist tirade so Erik throws him off of a balcony and splits open his head.

To end the lesson, Erik opens up a section on his website where anyone can review his dick.

## Comments

*Pls don't try short stires.. you are not talented enough and it makes you look clumsy and cringy*
- Bob Dole

*Hey dumbshit I don't take short story advice from people who can't spell the word "stories." I've jerked off to jpegs that are smarter than you, and something tells me you're just mad because the shortest story of all is your love life*
- Erik

*Yo this review is for my man will, that movie SUCKED bro what are you talking about. I don't know wtf movie you watched but I downloaded this thing illegally and still want my money back. I'm pretty sure I could beat up Jared Leto's Joker, and I've lost every fight of my life especially against alcoholism.**The dialogue in this movie sounded like it was written by a youtube spam bot for all the fucking sense it made. Anyway I'm not talented enough to write a short stire out of this but you're wrong about this movie and I'm taking off an extra star because there was this dudes head in the shot the entire time and a woman in the theater wouldn't stop coughing.**While I'm here I'd like to criticize 9/11 and say we haven't gotten the full story on what happened there, just pieces of lies and deceit. Suicide Squad on the other hand had virtually no story at all and I don't give a sh\*t what they left out there. Google NWO and arm yourself against the revolution.*
- NudeCelebs4Free

*Hey I'm with all these assholes I can already tell this movie's a big steaming pile of shit you should rewrite the whole third act and make
the kids teenagers and set it in the 40's and make it black and white and send me the script, I might have some more notes thanks for outsourcing the making of your movie to us Facebook commenters. Just stop filming it completely until we can all agree it's what we want, the kid who plays Richie is cool but fire everyone else. Also if you need any dead dogs for the movie l've got a backyard full of them, just need to find my shovel which I've nicknamed "divorce attorney” because he's very good at his job lol ;) vote jill stein*
- Erik

*Downloaded this game illegally and played it for about two hours so I think I can speak for everyone when I say it was awesome. Best free to play game of the year! But the real game here is life itself, because we're all inside a simulation run by the illuminati singularity machine. Why do you think they turned the Matrix directors into women? They got too close to the truth. However, I found a cheat code that allows me to run an illegal vet practice out of my basement. I've got more baby kittens in jars down there than a japanese freak show. I hope we never wake up from this false reality because I make a shitload of money throwing people's animals into the lake behind my house. I give life the game a 5/5 and send me a PM if you've got a "dog problem"*
- Erik

*@TheEllenShow @usainbolt HEY GUYS I FIXED THE PHOTO*
- @commentiquette

*I caught this guy fucking my girlfriend last week. I'm still pissed about it but there's nothing I can do. She loves him. I knew she was acting weird because she kept staying out late and coming home with taco sauce on her blouse. During sex she'd scream to give her my five dollar foot long, but I'm only 3 inches and five dollars is way too much for what I'm giving. One day I came home to find her getting plowed against the wall by this dude. He had her hair in one hand and a taco bell cheesy gordita crunch in the other. I tried to fight him, but he slapped me so hard it broke every window in the house. This dude's a stone cold pimp and I can't do anything to hurt him, so I can only hope he breaks her heart one day like she broke mine. Subscribed, and I would really love to see a review on the baconator from wendy's thanks.*
- Erik

*I thought this bitch was a jew at first so I almost didn't buy this book, but then I realized she hates mexicans almost as much as I do. Anyway good book, I can't wait to read it to the next black guy I meet. Four out of five. The south will rise again.*
- Robot

*Looks like a deflated balloon, and just like a deflated balloon it gets blown by a lot of clowns*
- Erik

## Context

1. ↑ Usain Bolt is an Olympic sprinter and often considered to be the fastest man alive.
2. ↑ The Wachowskis are the co-directors of The Matrix. They both came out as transgender.
3. ↑ This references the Subway promotion where a foot-long sandwich is five dollars.

## Video

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