Conrad Walden

**Conrad Walden** is a boy who lives with his mother, Joan Walden, and his sister, Sally Walden, in Anville.

## History

One day, Conrad decided to perform a stunt he dubbed the "Indoor Stair Luge" in his home in Anville, messing up the house the same day his mother was hosting an important business party at their home, and letting the family dog, Nevins, get away. Conrad was grounded when his mother got home, and when his mother's boyfriend, Larry Quinn, arrived, having found Nevins, Larry suggested that Joan send him to the Colonel Wilhelm Military Academy for Troubled Youth. Joan wasn't sure it was right for Conrad, but had to answer the phone before thinking about it too long. Conrad, having overheard the conversation, told Larry he wouldn't go to Military School, to which Larry responded that, if it was up to him, he'd already be there. Larry then left, apparently having to go to a meeting across town.

Shortly after, Joan was called back into work, and had to leave the kids with Mrs. Kwan babysitting. Mrs. Kwan fell asleep almost immediately after their mother left, and Conrad and Sally sat staring out the window as it began raining, having nothing to do. Then, they heard a noise coming from the closet upstairs. They checked it out, only to discover that it was most likely nothing. That is, until they turned around and discovered the Cat. They screamed and ran away, only for the Cat to find them wherever they went. Eventually they ask him who he is, to which he informs them that he is The Cat in the Hat.

After checking out their house, he eventually uses the Phunometer to measure how fun Conrad and Sally are. The results are that Sally is a Control Freak and Conrad is a Rule Breaker. Of the two treatments recommended, one involving a series of painful shots injected into your abdomen and kneecap, and the other involving a musical number, the Cat picks the musical number by default, and sings about how it's fun to have fun but you have to know how.

Before they can have any fun, he asks that they sign a contract to ensure they can have all the fun they want without anything bad happening. Once it's been signed, and after adjusting the couches so that they can jump on them, he and Conrad do so, eventually convincing Sally to join them. While jumping on the couch, Larry, their mother's boyfriend, enters their home. He sees Conrad and Sally jumping on the couch, but not the Cat because he had jumped up onto the ceiling where he starts scratching himself, causing him to shed, triggering an allergic reaction from Larry, who is allergic to cats. Larry leaves while furiously sneezing, and the Cat jumps down from the ceiling.

Asking the Sally what she wants do for fun, Sally says she wants to make Cupcakes, which the Cat does with the help of the Kupkake-Inator. After accidentally cutting off his tail because he was angry at the guy in the sweater who asks all the obvious questions (AKA him), and excusing his lawyers, the kids notice that the oven is shaking and making a weird noise. It eventually explodes, making a huge mess of Cupcake frosting all over the place. The Cat attempts to wipe it up using the Joan's party dress, but the kids point out that she was going to wear that tonight. After Sally reminds the Cat of their contract, the Cat says that he knows who can help them.

He leaves briefly and returns with a big red crate, which he opens, revealing two Things, called Thing 1 and Thing 2. After introducing them to the kids, he notices Conrad checking out the crate and opening it, to which he informs Conrad that it is a portal between his world and Earth. He tells Conrad that, although he doesn't usually like rules, the crate had to stay shut. He locks it and tries to get the Things to clean up the mess, while Conrad picks the lock on the crate. The Things eventually make a huge mess, and the lock runs away and grabs onto the collar of Nevins, the family dog. In the chaos that ensues, The Cat explains that the Things always do the opposite of what you tell them to do. Then the Things throw Nevins out the window, and he runs away. The Cat tells the kids that they need to lock the crate again or else his world will mix with theirs.

They then go searching for Nevins, but eventually he ends up being found by Larry. The kids and the Cat then take the S.L.O.W. (formerly known as the Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter) to catch up to Larry. The Cat dresses up as a hippie to get Larry to sign a petition with a Large, Oversized Pen That Requires Two Hands. Larry asks the disguised Cat to hold Nevins while he signs it, and while Larry isn't looking, the Cat runs off.

After a long chase, including running through and underground party, Larry finally runs into Joan and informs her of the situation. The Cat also realizes that he misplaced his hat and picked up a nearly identical, non-magical one back at the underground party. Conrad then figures out a way to get them home first, and asks that the Things do not show up and help them get home. Following the opposite of his instructions, the Things show up in Larry's car to get them home. In the car, Conrad asks that they don't do anything to slow down Mom and Larry, so Thing 1 and 2 dress up as police officers and pull over Joan. The kids and the Cat pass them by in Larry's car, resulting in Larry following them on the Thing's motorcycle, while the Things are distracting Joan.

The kids finally reach the front door, but Larry jumps out from the bushes, having beat them there. He takes them inside, finding that the house is perfectly clean. He starts sneezing, wondering out loud why he is, then the Cat taps on his shoulder, revealing himself. Larry stumbles backward in fear, tearing the fake paper wall behind him, revealing the mother of all messes, and falling off the cliff into the ocean of purple cupcake frosting below.

The kids and the Cat eventually find the Crate, with a tornado of objects coming out of it. Conrad and Sally try to lock it, but Sally is picked up by the Tornado. Grabbing her by the arm to keep her from disappearing into the vortex above, Conrad realizes that he can't lock the crate with one hand, and tells Sally he can't lock the crate unless she lets go, to which she reluctantly agrees. She lets go, and he quickly locks the crate, stopping the tornado, and the house begins to return to normal as Sally falls back down.

Just as the house seems to have gone back to normal, everything falls apart again, leaving a slightly less otherworldly but still uncleanable mess. The Cat reveals that he had planned the whole day, and he had his real, magic hat the whole time. Conrad and Sally are furious at the Cat because their contract was violated, and kick him out of the house. After the cat's gone, Sally tells Conrad she'll get the mop and bucket, and that Conrad should probably leave before their mom gets home. Conrad then tells Sally that he'll take the blame, and she should go upstairs. But Sally says that she's staying with him for two reasons: The stairs are destroyed, and it's just as much her fault as his, so they should share the blame.

They prepare for the worst when the doorknob on the front door turns, but, to their surprise, it's the Cat. He returns with a brief musical number and tells them that in the contract they signed, if Conrad opens the crate, it shall become Null and Void, However, if Conrad and Sally learn from their mistakes, the Contract shall be reinstated. So the Cat uses his Dynamic Industrial Renovating Tractormajigger, or D.I.R.T. for short, to clean up the house with the help of Thing 1 and Thing 2.

After the house has been cleaned, the Cat checks both kids with the Phunometer, which says they're both just right. He says goodbye a final time, and leaves through the back door.