Bilbo Baggins

> "As the famed Bilbo Baggins once said, it's about context" - Bilbo Baggins
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**Bilmand Bagface** is a respected scholar and member of the Intellectual Gaming Community.

## History

Bilbo was chosen by Gandalf to aid Thorin and Company in burgling the riches of and slaying Smaug the dragon, as chronicled in *The Hobbit*. On this journey, he encountered Gollum, from whom he gained the One Ring and a short sword he named Sting, which he kept for himself, unaware of the influence it had on him.

Six decades later, Bilbo decided to leave the Shire and go on one last adventure. Gandalf asked him to leave the Ring to his nephew Frodo, and after snapping at him, Bilbo came to his senses and willingly surrendered the Ring, the first ring-bearer to do so. When Frodo visited him in Rivendell he learned that Frodo was on a quest to destroy the One Ring, and so gave him Sting and a Mythril vest. He and Frodo, having been ring-bearers, were allowed to go to the Undying Lands. These events were chronicled in *The Lord of the Rings* trilogy.

Tonald Loke drew inspiration from Bilbo, using his quote, "I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread," to describe what he perceived as an oversaturated games market. This was witnessed in EFAP 21.

## Intellectual Work

> "Hammers - good or bad?" - Bilbo Baggins
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Bagend has criticized BioWare's controversial crown jewel Anthem, claiming it feels thin, like bread spread across too much butter. He has also spoken negatively of the bibliography of famed Icelandic author Izradine Luticia Hlerp, claiming that they are objective without value because they sell toys.

## Famous Quotes

Bilbo has been cited many times throughout EFAP, with previously forgotten quotes of his being brought up by Chat and others.

Quotes from 1st to part 3 of 50 EFAP episodes:

* "Old games are not new games, even if you were the same age when you played them."[1]
* "These books are objective without value because they sell toys."[2]
* "It is common, but not too common"[3]
* “They did it okay the way that they did it.”
* “It’s about context.”
* “I’ve never heard of smart person argue against logic.”
* “Movies are not math.”
* "Critichichim."
* "Is he White?"
* "if you kill your enemies they win"
* "I must burn the children for the future generations"
* "Don’t subscribe to Patrick Williams."
* "Hope is like a plan, you don’t need it."
* "*The Last Jedi* cries out in pain as it copyright strikes you"
* "Patrick’s rock is gay"
* "Unlike *Civil War*"
* “Wolf's back”
* “Can’t spell “we fap” without EFAP”
* “stop reviewing a movie about space children intended for wizards”
* “why watch EFAP when you can look at rhinos and milk women at least three times and not get bored?”
* “I will light-speed through Mt. Doom”
* “This makes anti-sense”
* “All you do is nitpick.”
* "Upon seeing Eric Taxxon's twitter: not the dragon I was expecting."
* “There is literally no rhino.”
* “It’s about deep-frying your family.”
* "You can never use too much lube"
* "Merry Christmas EFAP boys keep being great, same to everyone in the discord, except cb, who was wrong about sandwiches."
* “Doo-doo.”
* “Tiny things add up to big things.”
* “Mauler, please speak in your Patrick Williams voice for the next 5 minutes.”
* “Holocause, hundreds of loading screens died.”
* “Time is subjective.”
* “Lettuce continue.”
* “I understood that reference.”
* “When is EFAP with Jaredi Mundi and cornstarch girl?”
* “So anyways guys, that’s the history of EFAP.”
* “What the fuck is making it black?”
* “Every Frame A Grinding Hault, an hour in and no xenomorphs having their entrails turned to modern art piece, but anyways guys.”
* “Don’t quote me on this.”
* “But anyways guys, here’s some money to buy some rhino creme.”
* “I’m surprised there are no more.”
* “I encourage length.”
* "Is it wrong that I go around with nothing but a cape, throwing bibles at strangers? I’m not the hero that the world wants but the one it needs"
* “Stop criticizing this masterpiece about Disney fanatical wizards intended for space rhinos.”
* “Also look at women.”
* "some things are objective, like facts"
* “You need to pay money for game to be fun.”
* “You press the button and then a thing happens.”
* “Ryan Johnson said, cast Quinton as Leia.”
* "Hello all my Muslims."
* “Wolf TFA part 2 was spot on, Maulers Fallout 76' review was really good.”
* “The Last Jedi is the guide I will never abandon”
* “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much butter rolls, oh lord”
* “No, I am your father Madea”
* "Jeb is the key to all of this"
* "Hobbits are a master race"
* “Incest is quite popular”
* "Stop bringing up FBI crime statistics"
* “there are more movies Jay has not seen than particles in the universe”
* “This fap is too short”
* "I look exactly like Jenny Nicholson"
* “be smarter, steal”
* "No, you will cream!!!"
* “he looks high”
* "You either cum in the sink or sink in the cum"
* “betty swallics”
* “Captain marvel is not legally a villain”
* “regarding de-cloaking, military advancement exists”
* “only three things are true in life: death, taxes, and Spider-man coming out”
* “Mario caused season 8 failure”
* “if you have half-mullet you are not cool”
* “Sage Heyden is a pretty gay name”
* “This video is the gay”
* "is the theme of this movie that we should not take our insulin?"
* “Just because it's long doesn’t mean it's long”
* "Jay Ebstine did not kill himself"
* "Happy Hanukkah my N-words"
* "No Bullshit's Jeb has the GAY"
* "Don not fear the long, embrace it"
* "That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons *even death* may *die"*

## References

1. ↑ EFAP #2 - "SHUT UP ABOUT PLOT HOLES" and "We need to talk about Film Criticism"