Wizards

Wizards is the third chapter in the Wombles Seven.

The girl had somehow come across New Steed Manor and was considering whether to knock or just break in. She decided on knocking, though she did it quite violently. Cathy opened the door. “Who are you?” she asked. “Please tell me you’re not another villain.” “I’m not.” Replied the girl. “My name is Clary, and I was kidnapped by people who called themselves Cadmus.”

Cathy stared at the girl, confused, and then asked, “What are you? Metahuman, magic, alien?” “None exactly.” Replied Clary. “May I come in?” “I guess.”

Clary came in. She sat at the table, got out a sketchbook and started drawing. “Who’s she?” asked Steed. “Clary.” Said Cathy. “She says she got kidnapped by people calling themselves Cadmus.” “Clary what?” “She didn’t say.”

Meanwhile, Katy was training her CRACKED Katycats in a private field behind her mansion. “I said TRY to kill me, not kill me!” she screeched at one of them who had tried to kill her on her own orders. “What?” they said. “I haven’t killed you yet! Besides, what do you think ‘try to kill me’ means, exactly!” “I think it means you should try to kill me, not attempt the actual thing!” hollered Katy, who actually thought it meant ‘imitate the action of trying to kill me’.

*Somewhere in an abandoned warehouse*

A creepy old man was watching live footage of Stephanie Kingsley on his CCTV screen. He also had a board full of pictures of her and news about Seagirl. “The poor, stupid girl.” He spat. “Insane girl, not seeing she needs help-and the asylums of the world would never give the right treatment! But I will. Oh, I will.”

Steed and Cathy had gone to another room because Clary was just ignoring them anyway.  There was another knock on the door.

“I’ll get it.” Said Steed, and did.

“Hello.” said the man at the door.  “Can I come in?”

“Why?  And who are you?” asked Steed.

“Oh, uh… I’m… the postman.  I’m here to deliver?”

“But you’ve got no post.”

The man looked awkward for a second.  He muttered something under his breath.  Steed tried to read his lips, but he seemed to be saying, “Stupid muggles”, and Steed knew that couldn’t be right because “muggles” isn’t a word.

“Only joking.” Said the weird man, putting on a fake smile and trying to come up with something else to tell Steed instead.

“I’m, uh… with… Jehovah’s Witness.”

Steed shut the door.  The man muttered to himself, “What kind of a cover is that?” then knocked on the door again.  Steed opened it, said “Go away” and shut it again.  He locked it.

The weird man climbed up the drain pipes onto a balcony and waited for Steed and Cathy to leave.  He didn’t have to wait long.  They got a call from Commander Bond, and headed to the seafront to meet the Wombles in their high-speed mission yacht (formerly holiday yacht) almost immediately.

The weird man climbed down from the balcony and stood in front of the door again.  He got out a strange looking stick of carved wood and tapped the lock three times, muttering something under his breath.  Then he opened the door with ease.

A man in a café across the road said to his friend, “I swear that man just unlocked a door by saying Alohamora.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” his friend replied.  “No such word!”

The weird man entered New Steed Manor and passed by the doorway to the living room.  He saw Clary sitting there drawing so hid himself.  He tried to see what she was drawing, but couldn’t.  Then he realised something.  He got out a photograph of her, and held it up to see if it matched. It did.  He ticked something on some kind of list, then darted away behind the kitchen door just in case she came out of the room.

The man pondered how he was going to get out without being seen. Then he remembered something.

“I hope it still fits me.” he said, then got some kind of cloak out of his backpack.  He put it on then appeared to vanish.

Much later, he re-appeared taking his cloak off in Soton-on-Sea.

“I heard there were more people with special abilities here.” He said to himself, “I need to find them to warn them about Cadmus.”

He walked down the street, then quickly turned a corner into a dark alley.  A man with blonde hair and a cigar in his mouth was waiting there for him.

“Ah, finally, you’re here!” said the man with the cigar. “I’ve been waiting for you all day!”

“You should have known better than to expect me to be on time, Constantine.” Said the other man jokingly. “That is true though, there were others back in London who I needed to find.”

“Ah, yes.” Replied Constantine, “Harry Potter, always brave enough to pick a fight if it means protecting the innocent.  That’s what makes you a true Gryffindor.”

“What house were you in when you were younger?”

“Well, I dropped out of Hogwarts after my second year.  It had too many rules.  I was taught most of what I know by a group of outsiders.  But I was a Slytherin back in my day.”

“…Oh.”

“Don’t worry, I was never involved with anyone like the Malfoys. The bad stuff I did were things like running away from class, going out of the school bounds.  Not all Slytherins are bad people, despite what others may tell you.”

“Okay, I believe you.”

“Anyway, enough chit-chat.  Let’s get on with the briefing.  Down ‘ere in Soton, there’s people calling themselves superheroes. Their aliases are Mouseman, Mousegirl, Seaboy and Seagirl.  Very unoriginal if you ask me.  We’re here for Seagirl.  She’s on our list to protect.”

“What about the others?”

“They’re not on the list old McGonagall gave us.  As far as I’m concerned, they can rot in hell.”

And with that, Harry and Constantine left to find Seagirl.

They didn’t get far before bumping into a strange furry creature.  The creature was about the size of a person with a long face and small black nose.  “Mind where you’re hurrying please!” said the creature.

Harry tipped his hat and bowed.  “Excuse me miss!  By the way what kind of magic creature are you?”  “Magic?  Creature! How very dare you!” exclaimed the creature who sounded female.  That was because she was female.  She slapped Harry’s face, grabbed his wand and snapped it in half.

“You picked a fight with the wrong one there, eh Harry!” Constantine said with a grin.  “Don’t worry I’ll show a trick or two.  I’ve not used a wand for years.”

“Excuse me!” shouted the creature.  “Er yes love?” replied Constantine.  “My name is Shansi Womble and I was on my way to the beach for a swim.  That is before you two gentle, no make that just men rudely interrupted me.”  “Sorry miss Womble!” replied Harry and Constantine together.

“Apology excepted” said Shansi.  Just then a glamorous lady in swimsuit and high heels tottered out of the tea shop behind them.  “Hi I’m Ellie” she said.  “Please to meet you miss” said Constantine.  “Harry Potter” said Harry with a smile.  “Shansi, I’m a womble by the way” added Shansi.  “Oh!  I’ve heard about you wombles but you’re the first I’ve met” said Harry.

Together they all headed towards the beach with Ellie.  Whilst below them Batman was not doing so well.  He ran as best he could with his back a pin cushion of deadly metal cards, swollen face and burning lungs.  A squad of invaders pursued him as headed into what looked like a sewer.

A blast rang out as the Joker fired an enormous handgun.  Purple smoke rose afterwards creating a miasma of laughing gas.  The invaders wore respirators but Batman had no such luxury.  He started to feel odd and everything seemed just a little bit better.  Every jolt, pain and challenge became funny little by little until he couldn’t hold back.

He ran laughing manically. Desperately trying to get away.  He could run no more.  Down he fell laughing hard with the world spinning like a top.  A sound rang out.  CLANG!  A tall boy looked down at him then everything went as black as his suit.