Mkall quarters

USS Odyssey

[Archived] USS Odyssey / mkall-quarters

Lt. Xander Spica 14-Aug-20 09:48 AM

*he entered and changed clothes into something more comfortable before he lit candles around his quarters and sat down to meditate* "finally peace" *he said to himself before he started to meditate*

Lt. Xander Spica 16-Aug-20 05:42 AM

*he walked in and changed into some more comfortable clothing. A shirt with a starfleet insignia and some sweatpants. Once he got changed he walked out of his quarters en route to the tactical holodeck*

Lt. Xander Spica 17-Aug-20 05:56 PM

*he entered his quarters and sat down on the bed, getting off his gear before laying down and going to bed*

Lt. Xander Spica 18-Aug-20 02:18 AM

*after some sleep he woke up and put on a uniform before going to the bridge*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 19-Aug-20 12:44 AM

[MESSAGE] @Lt. Xander Spica , I am going to need to reschedule our mediation meeting for now. My attention is required elsewhere, but I will get back to you to reschedule. ~T'Pel (edited)

Lt. Xander Spica 19-Aug-20 12:48 AM

[MESSAGE] @Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra, that is no issue, I suspect I'll hear from you shortly. Good luck with that what you need to do -M'Kall

Lt. Xander Spica 20-Aug-20 04:16 PM

*he walked over to his bed and got changed into some more comfortable clothing. He proceeded to light candles and the sat down to meditate... After 6 bloody days*

Lt. Xander Spica 20-Aug-20 04:51 PM

*after a while he stopped and put back on his uniform and grabbed his PADD*

*he read the message and went towards the lift*

Lt. Xander Spica 20-Aug-20 06:41 PM

*he entered and continued his meditation*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 12:49 AM

*after a while, he had completed his meditation. But seeing he was still of duty he decided to head to the club*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 03:50 AM

*he entered and sat down at his table, waiting for T'Pel*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 03:53 AM

*Ding Dong*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 04:20 AM

*he stood up* "enter"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 04:34 AM

*T'Pel entered, her hands behind her back, a data padd on one hand and she gave him a nod.*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 05:06 AM

*he nodded* "at ease this is off record, There is no need for formalities. Besides, I'm off duty"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 01:31 PM

*She gave him a nod and walked over to him, handing him her data padd.* "This will be an interactive beginning. The data padd contains the techniques, however the sound we will have to cycle through to find something that agree with you. And until I am satisfied that we have found the ones that are best for you, you are not to use them without my supervision. Understood?"

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 01:45 PM

*He nodded and grabbed the PADD* "Understood"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 02:00 PM

"How have you been meditating?" *She asked, taking a seat.*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 02:02 PM

*He sat down opposite of her* "I ignite some candles, get in some more comfortable clothiung and sit down to meditate. after about 6 hours I'm done for the next 2 days or so"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 02:05 PM

"*How* have you been meditating." *She asked again. It wasn't lost on her that he seemed on edge. There was a disruption in his emotional current, and likely because he hadn't been meditating as well as he should have been.*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 02:08 PM

*He sighed* "Its been... difficult. I keep having flashes of my past and they are getting more and more frequent" *He looked at her* "I dont know why"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 02:19 PM

"I see. Then perhaps you should get more comfortable and take up your usual position. I will select a few files to start with. You need to tell me how you react to them. How they make you feel. The instant you experience discomfort, tell me. That is very important as it could make this worse for you. Understand?"

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 02:22 PM

*He nodded and went to his bedroom and closed the doors to get changed, he then came back in his meditation clothing. He lit some candles and sat down on the floor in his meditating position*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 02:35 PM

*T'Pel had pulled up her first batch of samples, and kicked off her shoe's. She moved behind him, taking a seat.* "I will be here behind you should any of this provides undue stress. I know you have told me once before...but I would like to know you trust me to catch you if this somehow backfires. If you resist me....this will be much more difficult."

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 02:37 PM

*He nodded* "I trust you fully with what you're doing"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 02:56 PM

"Very well then." *She scrolled to the beginning of her list,* "A simple 'yes' or 'no' to indicate effectiveness will suffice. Let's begin." *T'Pel made the first selection. It was a low rumble with odd clicks. The vibration of the sound waves were slightly elevated from normal, so you could almost feel it. And since this was her research, she was intimately familiar with every sound, having built up an immunity or ability to block their adverse affects to her own person.*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 03:22 PM

*he groaned a bit* "No"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 03:27 PM

*She ended it, allowing for the silence to reset his mind a bit before the next. The pitch was higher, but not a screech. Cords like a harp that almost droned on in beats of 3...6...3*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 03:30 PM

*he listened carefully, but eventually decided it would irritate him more then help him* "no"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 03:36 PM

*She ended it, and allowed for readjustment time. The next was a low hum, accompanied with low drum beats.*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 03:39 PM

*he listened but decided it wouldn't help but do quite to opposite and may even make his situation worse* "no" *he said quickly*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 03:59 PM

*She ended it and let the silence fall again before choosing the sound of rain.*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 04:00 PM

*He listened* "This... could work, but something is missing..." *He said as he listend further*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 04:14 PM

*She gave a silent nod, pulling up another sound with it. Birds in the distance.*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 04:15 PM

*He shook his head, it wasnt that.* "Something more subtle"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 04:23 PM

*She removed the birds and added a slight breeze and a small creek.*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 04:25 PM

*He nodded* "This is it"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 04:32 PM

*She left it as it was and brought up another file.* "This next set will not be audible, but they are meant to work with what is. It is simply a spectrum of rhymes. I will start from highest to lowest and will go slow. We can cycle through the whole list as many times as you need to find the best one. If at any point you start to feel aggravated, tell me and I will stop. This goes deeper to the subconscious so it is important that the effect instantly be terminated before we continue."

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 04:37 PM

*He looked at her* "You are saying this could make me aggressive?"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 04:43 PM

"Vibrations affect mood. It depends on pressure and frequency. However people react differently to different stimuli. I am simply stating that it is a possibility. That is why I need to be here to walk you through this. If adverse reactions do occur, I can assist." (edited)

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 04:44 PM

*He nodded* "Very well, lets get to it"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 04:54 PM

*She brought up the files to begin cycling,* "Beginning now." *She warned, starting from a higher vibration and she slowly eased it down. The vibrations were something felt, and ever so slightly. Their intention was just to nudge, distract, or otherwise blanket the senses into a center.*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 05:08 PM

*He listened to the sound, when it hit a flat A bass note he started feeling aggressive urges* "shut it off, now!" *he never actually raised his voice in a long time* (edited)

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 05:14 PM

*She shut it off, having been prepared for the possibility, however her heart picked up a mild gallop. She struck that specific chunk of file out.* "So that is not an option. Are you well? We can take a moment, unless you require further assistance."

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 05:18 PM

*He sighed, he was slightly tense, T'Pel could sense that if she focused on him.* "Lets take a break" *He said as he stood up and sat down on a couch, he then grabbed for his head* "Let's not do that again"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 05:31 PM

*She stood and joined him on the couch,* "My apologies if it hurt you." *She was indeed aware of how tense he was.* "If you allow the contact, I will work on your pressure points. You will just need to let me behind you." *Though she was unsure the muscles in her tiny hands were strong enough for the titanium in his shoulders.*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 05:34 PM

*He nodded* "You didn't hurt me, i assure you" *He looked at her and nodded* "Be my guest" *he turned his back to her*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 05:38 PM

*She raised her hands, and guarded her mind. Touch was an instant read on anyone not naturally immune. Especially Vulcan's. It was exactly why they were not terribly touchy feely people. However, this was not beyond her skill. Her fingers found knot after knot after knot, and she worked at each slowly.*

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 05:39 PM

*he slowly started to relax* "You've done this for some time, haven't you?" *He asked eventually*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 05:45 PM

"My meditations? Yes. However up until this point...it has just been for my benefit. Though I would not have suggested it for you if I was not confident we could not find something to suit you. Forgive me for saying, as it is not a critique meant to be rude, but typical meditation techniques do not seem to be working for you. At least not any longer. This past of yours...you really need to find a way to put it to rest. Or else it will either kill you or get you killed. And possibly others. I simply wish to help."

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 05:48 PM

*He nodded* "And i thank you for your help, but i can't simply put this to the side." *He sighed* "It's too much to forget" *He turned to her* "My offer is still open to mindmeld and to show you my past"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 05:58 PM

"You are not doing much of anything with it, let alone setting it aside. You need to move past it and away from it. Forward, and without the baggage. And I will say...if you are having such difficulties doing so, I do not also need to be exposed to them. I have a hard enough keeping everything at bay on a constant basis. You will forgive me if I do not wish to add to it. At least not yet. Such a thing takes preparations."

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 06:04 PM

*He nodded* "Understandable, but I simply can't shrug off the death of hundreds of people. Thats something I can't let go, for i have destroyed familys and took loved ones away from people" *He sighed* "It isnt as simple as you put it, there is more that comes along with it" *He looked at her* "Telling the entire crew could help seeing I dont need to hide it anymore, but it may change their view and opinion about me" *He shook his head* "I don't know what to do"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 06:10 PM

"I never said shrug it off. You have to heal from it. And despite what anyone thinks of you, what is important is what *YOU* think of yourself. It is clear your opinion is a low one, indeed. You are clinging to it and it is infecting your Katra. Down to it's very essence. If punishment is what you seek, there are better ways to go about it than slowly poisoning yourself. I will have to research a way to even do it, but perhaps if you faced your victims one by one? Let them judge you so you can stop judging yourself for them."

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 06:19 PM

*He looked at her* "I suppose it does matter what i think of myself, but right now i cant look at myself without seeing the victims i killed." *He shook his head* "I'm not looking for punishment, but forgivness, but I question if people will..." *He turned to a picture on the wall of him and his parents* "They never forgave me, i was a failure in their eyes"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 06:21 PM

"Everyone around you is irrelevant, M'Kall. These faces will haunt you until you die if you do not confront this. Taking accountability would be a good start. Unless you simply enjoy the pain. I would imagine there is a portion that feels....familiar. Even comfortable."

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 06:27 PM

*He nodded* "I have lived with this burden for a long time, it's become a part of me you could say" *He was silent for a bit before he continued* "I guess it would be logical to tell everyone my past and get it over with. But I suspect they aren't ready yet... It's alot to take in on such a short notice"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 06:46 PM

"I suggest you start small. Who else on this ship do you trust aside from me?"

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 06:47 PM

"Ensign Jason Isker, he knows about my past as well"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 06:48 PM

"How about the Captain? Before thrusting this on literally everyone aboard, he should be consulted. He should be told first so he may be able to help. That and this is his ship and his crew."

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 06:52 PM

"He... doesnt know" *He shook his head* "This might be his ship, but i dont want him to carry the burden and lower his preformance"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 07:02 PM

*T'Pel shook her head,* "He has his support system. However if you are serious about releasing this...he is the one you need to tell first. How to proceed will then be his call. Or else you can return to Vulcan and make a public statement and go from there. Though...starting here would be better."

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 07:03 PM

*He nodded* "Agreed, prehaps I should tell him" *He looked at her* "Thank you, i needed this"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 07:05 PM

*T'Pel gave him a nod,* "I hate to see you suffer. Whether you see it or not, there is a redeemable goodness in you. I want to help you find it."

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 07:07 PM

*He nodded and looked through his window into space* "We'll have to wait and see, T'Pel... We'll have to wait and see" *He shook his head and looked at her* "I appreciate your guidance" *He gave her a nod back*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 07:09 PM

"When you tell the Captain, I will be present if you wish."

Lt. Xander Spica 21-Aug-20 07:10 PM

*He nodded* "I would appreciate that, thank you"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 21-Aug-20 08:13 PM

*She made sure M'Kall was well enough heading out.*

Lt. Xander Spica 22-Aug-20 01:12 AM

*he gave her a nod as she left and walked to his bedroom to get into uniform again. Once he got changed, he put out the candles and walked to the lift*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 26-Aug-20 07:10 PM

*Once inside she walked past a candle, snatching it from it's post and headed to his bed,* "No need to turn the covers, just set him down.\*

*She lit the candle and set it on his night stand then went for his incense, setting up what she remembered of his meditation aides.*

Lt. JG Arian Rhosyn 26-Aug-20 07:11 PM

"Yes, Lieutenant." *She did as she was commanded, and set the man down with tender, gentle care. Then she took out her tricorder and began to scan the room.*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 26-Aug-20 07:12 PM

*T'Pel quirked a brow,* "What are you doing?"

Lt. JG Arian Rhosyn 26-Aug-20 07:14 PM

*She remarked,* "You seem to be familiar with the room, ma'am. Do you know if he keeps any blades or other weapons the tricorder would miss? I have to guard his door, and I'd rather not deal with more than I can prevent." *She then went to the replicator and punched in the security override protocol to make it only provide food and drink.*

Lt. Xander Spica 26-Aug-20 07:15 PM

*He slowly regained consiousness and grabbed his head* "Who... pinched me?"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 26-Aug-20 07:19 PM

"I am not *that* familiar." *She looked down to M'Kall as he woke,* "A reactionary ensign. But you can worry about that later. What was that all about?" *She looked to Arian and nodded her head for the woman to leave,* "I have it from here. Take up your post."

Lt. JG Arian Rhosyn 26-Aug-20 07:20 PM

"Yes, Lieutenant." *Arian turned to the bed where the man regained consciousness,* "Commander, I must inform you that you've been checked by Medical and brought to your quarters. You are confined to quarters by order of the Captain." *She then left.*

Lt. Xander Spica 26-Aug-20 07:22 PM

*He sat up straight slowly* "I told the commander about my past, the captain confronted me and i sayed a mindmeld would help sketch him a better picture" *He looked at the Ensign* "I know, its fine"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 26-Aug-20 07:25 PM

"How is your head?" *She asked, walking to the replicator to get him some water and a cold compress for the pinch, as it was always left quite tender.*

Lt. Xander Spica 26-Aug-20 07:28 PM

"It's fine" *He nodded and He grabbed the glass and drank out of it* "It has been a while since i last mindmelded"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 26-Aug-20 07:29 PM

*She pulled up and chair and sat down, crossing her legs. She had a feeling of guilt. This wouldn't have happened had she not urged him to come clean, but it was honestly unavoidable if he were to heal.* "How do you feel otherwise?"

Lt. Xander Spica 26-Aug-20 07:32 PM

"Confused, relieved but concerned at the same time" *He shook his head* "I guess we have to wait what happens next, seeing im relieved of duty for the next day" *He out his hand over where his pips should be, they weren't there but in the captains office*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 26-Aug-20 07:37 PM

"It is past the point...but you should have let me come with you. This would not have happened otherwise."

Lt. Xander Spica 26-Aug-20 07:39 PM

*He shook his head* "I should've, yes. but i was in the heat of the moment" *He looked at her* "The captain didn't really seem to have much patience"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 26-Aug-20 07:43 PM

"It was to be expected, unfortunately. I apologize..." *For talking you into ruining your career? For trying to help? By making things worse? It was all irrelavent now. What is done is done.* "But if it helps...you have my patience. No man left behind."

Lt. Xander Spica 26-Aug-20 07:44 PM

*He put a hand on her shoulder* "Whatever happens next, I'll see you as a valuable friend" *He nodded* "...No man left behind"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 26-Aug-20 08:03 PM

"Is there anything you need, while I am here?"

Lt. Xander Spica 26-Aug-20 08:05 PM

*He nodded* "I'd like it if you stayed for a while" *He drinked some more water*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 26-Aug-20 08:08 PM

"Very well."

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 26-Aug-20 09:23 PM

[D] *After some coached meditation, T'Pel suggest he get some sleep. He needed to be well rested for the road ahead of him. He would never admit to it, but she could feel his fear and uneasiness, so after a massage she laid with him until he drifted off. Her only goal to be a supportive friend. Once he drifted off to sleep, she slipped out.*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 01:06 AM

*after a while he woke up and sat on his bed. He then walked over to his closet to change but didn't put on a uniform, but rather some more comfortable clothing. He then sat down on a chair, and started reading*

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 08:19 AM

*his door chimes* "Hey M'Kall, its me."

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 08:23 AM

*he looked up from his PADD* "Come in, please"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 08:27 AM

*he opens the door and walks in* "Hey, how are you?"

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 08:29 AM

*he stood up and walked over to him* "I'm fine, just don't nerve pinch me again" *he looked at him, quite happy to see him* "Can I get you something?"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 08:31 AM

"I am sorry, it was in the spur of the moment." *he sighs and shakes his head* "No thank you." *he sits down at a chair* "What happend? Azoci could feel you across the entire ship."

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 09:55 AM

*he sat down opposite of him and sighed* "I confessed to the commander about my past. She told the captain about it and he wanted to talk to me" *he looked at him* "I asked if I can show my entire past via mindmeld, he complied. When we were about halfway he asked to stop, but I couldn't seeing that would put me in a even worse spot seeing that I was showing a murder of mine." *He looked down and sighed* "I suppose I lowered my defences and the emotions of current me and old me started showing mentally" *he looked back at him* "And now I'm stripped of rank. I'll be getting off at Yorktown"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 09:58 AM

*he sighs deeply and looks visibly sad* "Why didnt you stop? Maybe this whole thing could have been avoided. I was in panic cause i didnt knew who would come out of the mindmeld." *he looks to him* "But we are somewhat innthe same boat, intold the captain about my past and recent black spots in my records, so far i got away with a blue eye but i am on his watchlist."

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 09:59 AM

*he shook his head* "If I stopped then and there, he would think even worse of me." *He looked at him* "I could not not show him what happend after, that I changed." *He paused and He nodded* "I suppose you got off better then me"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 10:02 AM

"Only by a hairsbreath" *he nods* "Man what a day that was... It will be different without you on board, but i will try to stay in contact with you."

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 10:03 AM

*he nodded* "I will try to stay in contact with you as well. Whatever happens, I'll remember you as a good friend, Jason"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 10:12 AM

"As will i old friend." *he nods and grins* "If i see the day you get to be free i will pick you up if possible." *he chuckles a bit*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 10:15 AM

*he nodded* "That would be a welcoming sight to say the least" *He looked at him, happy he is here*

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 10:20 AM

*he nods* "Then i will do that. I hope they treat you good, i know it wasnt you back then." *he sighs a bit*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 10:24 AM

*he nodded* "I hope they saw I changed" *he looked outside the window* "For now I'm stuck in here"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 10:25 AM

"Well, i hope they let you visit the funeral later, it would be fair if they let you" *he nods* "You served with then after all."

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 10:27 AM

*he nodded* "I did, but I doubt I'll be attending seeing the captain is a bit paranoid of my situation at the moment"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 10:28 AM

*he grins* "Come on, we have enough betazoids present to tell if you are a danger" *he nods*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 10:31 AM

*he looked at him* "I suppose there are, but I doubt they'll feel any rage from me" *he sighed* "the captain is too ignorant to see beyond the surface. He hears I killed 200 people and he forgets about everything I did within starfleet as if it was nothing" *he shook his head* "it doesn't make sense"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 10:42 AM

"Well it makes sense cause it overshadows everything. From his position it looks like a sleeping timebomb was planted on his ship. It doesnt invalidate your record, but it shows how shortsighted vulcan high command was by classifying it all" *he sighs*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 10:44 AM

*he nodded* "I suppose so"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 10:45 AM

"I mean try to see it from his perspective. It is not your fault, it is the fault of secrecy. Which is why i opened up to the captain, even though i have been ordered by people way above his paygrade to shut up about it" *he sighs*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 10:47 AM

*he looked outside* "His perspective was only one, and that was his own." *He looked back at him* "I pictured myself in his shoes, but did picture himself in mine?"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 10:49 AM

"Well maybe he cant see it from ours but we can see from his. Sometimes we just have to accept how the world sees us without any secrets in the way" *he nods*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 10:51 AM

"I guess" *he looked to his picture of his parents* "I wonder what they would think of this all, if they agreed to me confessing" (edited)

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 10:52 AM

*he sighs and looks up* "They would probably agree to your decision to confessing. It is logical to get rid of the demons thaz try to stop you from progress"

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 10:54 AM

*he looked at him* "They weren't your typical parents. They would doubt everything I did, so I don't know"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 10:56 AM

"Well i cant speak for vulcan parents, but in general a parent has a sense of proudness for their kids. Even if they do not show it" *he nods*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 10:59 AM

*he nodded* "Prehaps they did" *he looked back outside* "I simply don't know"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 11:01 AM

"And thats the problem with you vulcans. Complete control may be the way for you, but you dont learn to ever express emotions in a healthy way" *he grins a bit*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 11:03 AM

*he looked over to him* "I had my fair share of showing emotions and expressing myself. No thank you, not again"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 11:12 AM

"Well, i wouldnt call that the healthy way but i understand you" *he nods* "One day it will be better though"

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 11:14 AM

*he nodded* "prehaps it will, Jason. Prehaps it will..."

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 11:15 AM

"In my experience it will." *he chuckles* "Dont be pessimistic"

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 11:16 AM

*he looked over and shook his head* "I'm being realistic, and reality is hard and mostly saddening" (edited)

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 11:17 AM

"True, it is, but sometimes you just have to hope." *he nods grinning* "So maybe try hope for a change"

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 11:18 AM

*he nodded* "All I hope for now is not being executed on the spot by officers" *he shook his head* "It's just..." *He sighed* "Alot is going on right now"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 11:20 AM

"Well, executions aint really a thing anymore, so that is unlikely to happen" *he chuckles a bit* "Dont loose that sense of humor."

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 11:47 AM

"I promise I won't" *he looked at him* "So, have any plans once you arrive in Yorktown?"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 11:51 AM

*he shakes his head* "Not really. Maybe i use the gym a bit and get in better shape."

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 12:08 PM

*he nodded* "I'll probably try and stall the guards or officers waiting for me and have some alone time" *he looked outside* "A bit of freedom before bars blocking it off"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 12:11 PM

*he nods* "Well try it, but dont do anything stupid that gets you into mote trouble though" *he stands up and stretches*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 12:26 PM

*he shook his head* "I won't, if I do it'll only make matters worse" *he looked at him* "If they ask me to come along, I will. I won't resist"

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 12:39 PM

*he nods* "Thats a start i guess. Dont fall into an emotional panic reaction" *he extends his hand* "see you at the funeral?"

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 12:40 PM

*he grabbed his hand and shook it* "I'll see you there" *he nodded*

Lt. Jason Isker 27-Aug-20 12:41 PM

*he pulls him in a short hug and nods* "See you there." *he nods and walks to the door.*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 12:42 PM

*he accepted the hug, nodded and watched him leave before changing into something more formal. Not a uniform, but a traditional Vulcan robe for these kind of occasions*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 27-Aug-20 02:00 PM

*Ding Dong*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 02:00 PM

"Enter" *He stood up*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 27-Aug-20 02:02 PM

*T'Pel entered, hands behind her back,* "Greetings." *She eyed him a moment in his robes and quirked a brow,* "Have you been given permission to attend the funeral services?"

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 02:02 PM

*He nodded* "Indeed I have"

"I suppose you are going as well" *He raised an eyebrow*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 27-Aug-20 02:06 PM

*She gave a nod,* "I may not have known Pongle well, but...he was a sweet man. His loss has been heavily noted."

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 02:08 PM

*He nodded* "He was indeed a good person, it's a shame he had to go"

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 27-Aug-20 02:11 PM

*She pushed the ping of sadness in her gut down, and straightened as she took a breath, changing the subject lest she tear up.* "You clean up nicely. Perhaps stripping you of your uniform was not a total loss."

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 02:14 PM

*He shook his head* "It's a shame it had to happen like this, but its for the better" *She could sense he was saddend as to how it all took place and happened*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 27-Aug-20 02:20 PM

*She gave a nod,* "I think you will find the pressure of guilt lessened, though."

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 02:21 PM

"We should get going, the memoire will start soon" *He walked towards the door, exhaling before exiting* "And maybe i will" *He exited his quarters*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 27-Aug-20 02:25 PM

*She followed him out*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 05:13 PM

*He entered and put on some more casual clothing and replicated some bags. Ready to pack* "This is it then..."

*He packed his bags and filled them with his belongings: A picture, a ceromonial knife, some clothes, candles and a meditation stone. Nothing too much, but enough to sustain him*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 27-Aug-20 05:29 PM

*She had followed him and took a seat,* "The energy surrounding departures is always so...strange."

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 05:30 PM

*He nodded* "You put things with sentimental value away. That does something to you" *He put the picuture of his parents in the bag and closed it*

Lt. Xander Spica 27-Aug-20 05:39 PM

*He grabbed his bag and hanged it over his shoulder* "Lets go" *He was saddened he had to leave, but it was for the best. For him as well as the crew. He headed to the door*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 27-Aug-20 05:40 PM

*She stood and followed him. Goodbyes were never easy.*

Lt. Xander Spica 28-Aug-20 09:15 AM

*he entered his quarters and went to the replicator, making a new uniform. His pips were no more, it was a rectangle with curved edges with 3 striped, one of them being black instead of gold. He put the uniform on and put on his commbadge. He sat down on his Sofa and started typing on his PADD*

Lt. Xander Spica 28-Aug-20 01:08 PM

*He sat down to meditate as instructed by the captain to do so once a day, when he finally got in trance he saw a vision. It was the crew, all dead with him in the middle, blood on his hands. he snapped out of it and was frightend, scared, sad and confused at the same time* "What the..." *He looked at his hands, then his bag, then the door* "One way..." *He said silently to himself. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen instead of the traditional PADD and he wrote on it* "To whomever finds this, I am M'Kall, I was a officer on this ship until i told my past, which was to say the least, awful. I have decided it is no longer save to have me on board this vessel, I'll put them and myself in danger and i do not wish for that to happen. I have a PADD in the left drawer of my closet, in there is my entire life story if you wish to read it. It's been an honour, and i want to thank all of you for everything. Good or bad, right or wrong. If you need me, I'll be there... -M'Kall" *He put down the letter on his desk, for everyone to see before changing in casual clothing, putting his uniform with the mentioned PADD, along with badge, pips and knife. He grabbed his bag, threw it over his shoulder and walked out of his quarters unnoticed*

Lt. Cmdr. T'Pel Kestra 28-Aug-20 01:29 PM

*She walked in, looking around,* "M'Kall?" *She finally called out. After exploring his quarters, she came to the piece of paper on his table and read it. Her heart sank as she took a seat. T'Pel read it over and over, then chided herself for the action. It was not a spell that would summon him. After several moments she finally sighed, accepting his decision, even if she still did not like it. But he was kind enough to leave something of himself behind, and she walked to his closet and opened the left drawer, pulling out the data padd that had been sitting there. With that and his hand written note, she headed out.*

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