Praetorians

## Praetorian Guard

The **Praetorian Guard** was an elite security force tasked with protecting the Roman Emperor. Although created by Augustus and very efficient at their work, the Praetorians became increasingly corrupt, to the point of betraying those they swore to protect for selfish reasons.

## Appearance

Praetorian Guard weren't much different, aesthetically speaking, from regular Legionaries. What make them stand out was their purple-colored armor.

## In Unbiased History

The Pr\*etorians are depicted as chads for the first few episodes of the series, but gradually become virgins as they assassinate emperors for refusing to pay their bribes, or simply out of spite.

After Augustus's death leeches infested it, especially under Sejanus whilst Tiberius was in Capri. They then went on to murder the god-emperor Caligula but the loyal regiment then acclaimed Claudius as the new emperor. They would then go on to try to save emperor Nero but arrived to late, with Nero telling them "Too late... this is fidelity..." and died in their arms,

They would remain relatively loyal during the Flavian Dynasty though they killed the previous emperor Galba due to their support for Otho. During the period of the Five Good Emperors we hear very little about them until Commodus who restores their old privileges and increases their number, severely hindering the empire.

After Commodus died they would kill his successor Pertinax before selling the empire to Didius Julianus. When Severus seized the throne from Didius he replaced the praetorians with loyal veterans though the previous issues would come back in the latter Severan dynasty with the assasination of Caracalla and Elagabalus.

Their most infamous murder (or "greatest crime", according to Dovahhatty) was that of Aurelian, considered the greatest Roman emperor by Dovahhatty.

They once again claimed another innocent emperor with Probus (also Numerian but meh who cares about him), and with the senate convinced the disgruntled and jealous Maxentius to promise to restore back the senate's old authority, however after Maxentius died at Milvian Bridge, the pr\*etorians thought that they could make Constantine pay up for them to remain loyal (later betraying and murdering him) but Constantine had other plans.................................REVENGE, CONSTANTINE DID THE GREATEST THING FOR ROME, ABOLISHING THEM AND EXTERMINATING EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE DISGUNTING AND TREACHEROUS PARASITES WHILE THE SPIRITS OF CALIGULA, CARACALLA, ELAGABALUS, PERTINAX, GALLIENUS, PROBUS AND **A V R E L I A N V S** OBSERVED

## List of Emperors killed by the Praetorian Guard

* Caligula 41AD
* Galba 69AD
* Pertinax 193AD
* Caracalla 217AD
* Elagabalus 222AD
* Pupienus 238AD
* Balbinus 238AD
* Gordian III 244AD
* Philip II 249AD
* Gallienus 268AD (according to Dovah)
* **A V R E L I A N V S** 275AD (according to Dovah)
* Probus 282AD
* Numerian 284 AD

## "Trivia"

* During Caligula's reign, a unit of Germanic guards, or "Numerus Batavorum", were formed as a check against the Praetorian Guards as their foreign status meant that they lack political connections in Rome to rise up against him.
* While Pr\*etorian Guards were known for betrayals, three of the deaths in the show--Gallienus, Aurelian, and Probus--were actually killed by the army in historical records.
* While the Pr\*etorian Guards were disbanded by Emperor Constantine, in reality, their positions became irrelevant due to constant mobility of post-Third Century Emperors, Rome no longer serving as political capital, and being replaced by the Scholae Palatinae.
* The last big group of Chad **P R A E T O R I A N S** seen in the series appeared during the early Severan Dynasty and disappearing completely with future emperor Carus.