Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru

**"Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru"** is the thirty-seventh episode of the first series  of *The Loud House*.

## Plot

Lincoln and Clyde must start a business for a class assignment, so they decide to sell Lincoln's girl expertise.

## Synopsis

Lincoln and Clyde are making chocolate pies for a business, but when Lincoln goes to get chocolate for the pies, he notices that all the chocolate is gone--Lincoln immediately deduces that his sisters, who're all notorious "chocoholics", must have eaten the chocolate. Since they can't make chocolate pies, they decide to make salt-and-vinegar pies instead (stating it works on potato chips). Artie tastes a pie, and claims it to be disgusting, making them switch to birdhouse making. The birdhouses don't go much better, because when a bird flies into it, it immediately collapses.

Then they see Luan has earned $100 by selling balloon animals, causing them to take up the idea. While Liam is looking at the horribly misshapen balloon animals and explains that he's trying to impress a girl he likes, Lincoln suggests that Liam should give his crush some chocolate, revealing that his sisters all love chocolate. Liam takes the advice, and it ends up working, which leads to Liam calling Lincoln a "Girl Guru" ("guru" essentially meaning "expert"). This gives Lincoln and Clyde the idea to start a business by having Lincoln give girl advice to people for money.

Lincoln gives people advice based on his past experience with his sisters. The advice that he gives includes:

* Telling Andrew to give Jordan a Dutch oven, seeing as how Lynn did that to impress him
* Telling Rusty to make Sadie fall for him by wearing a suit of armor and riding on a stallion, seeing as how this worked in one of Lola's bedtime stories
* Telling Zach to impress Kat with his basic chemistry skills, seeing as how Lisa wanted Dylan Cornheiser to do this before they interacted
* Telling Papa Wheelie to put a frog in Joy's pants, seeing as how Lana likes it when somebody does this to her
* Telling Flat Tire to take Mollie to a funeral, seeing as how Lucy enjoys going to these events
* Telling Coach Pacowski to give Mrs. Johnson squirt flowers, seeing as how Luan frequently uses her gag squirt flower whenever she feels like doing it for comedy

Later, he and Clyde see the boys trying Lincoln's advice, which ends in the girls hating the boys for doing such. This causes all of them to hate Lincoln and Clyde, vowing to cause them pain the next time they see them.

Lincoln and Clyde then leave the school and run home hiding in trash cans. When they walk inside, the sisters immediately question what they were doing. Lincoln explains that since he had ten sisters, he thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to use his living experience with them as advice to give to boys on how to impress girls. The moment he's done explaining himself, the girls end up laughing hysterically at the idea, pointing out that having a bunch of sisters doesn't make him a girl expert, adding that all girls are different and that what works for them might not work for other girls. Lincoln then wonders what to do now, knowing that his business is a complete bust. When he hears his father say something about tossing out Lincoln's salt and vinegar pies, he gets an idea.

Lincoln and Clyde are now selling the salt and vinegar pies to people as a way to get revenge on the "Girl Guru" himself. Of course, every one of their dissatisfied customers purchase a pie, and immediately pelt Lincoln with them.

## Cast

* Grant Palmer as Lincoln
* Catherine Taber as Lori / Jordan
* Cristina Pucelli as Luan
* Jessica DiCicco as Lynn / Zach
* Grey Griffin as Lana / Lola / Lily
* Lara Jill Miller as Lisa / Liam
* Caleel Harris as Clyde
* Brian Stepanek as Lynn Sr.
* Caitlin Carmichael as Kat
* Blake Bertrand as Flat Tire
* Jacob Hopkins as Andrew
* Daniel DiMaggio as Artie
* Jeff Bennett as Coach Pacowski
* Susanne Blakeslee as Agnes Johnson
* Mason Vaughan as Papa Wheelie
* Sydney Mikayla as Joy
* Hannah Nordberg as Mollie
* Wyatt Griswold as Rusty Spokes (uncredited)

Leni, Luna, and Lucy have no lines in this episode, but were heard laughing. Liam's girlfriend, Sadie, Penelope, Lance, and Boy Jordan also have no lines in this episode.

## Physical distribution

This episode is available on the "It Gets Louder" and "The Complete First Season" DVDs.

## Trivia

* Mrs. Johnson's first name is revealed to be Agnes.
* Lincoln's sisters love chocolate, causing Lincoln to call them "chocoholics".
	+ Coincidentally, the episode premiered in the United States on International Chocolate Day.
* The scene with Lily eating chocolate has the same background from "Changing the Baby", when Lincoln goes to Lily's room to discover she's gone.
	+ Also, one of Lincoln's polo shirts was seen in Lily's crib.
* A number of the supporting characters are named after, and are caricatures of members of *The Loud House* staff; including Jordan (Jordan Rosato, storyboard artist), Kat (Kat Ketchum, character designer), Mollie (Mollie Freilich, production coordinator), Joy (Joy Adams, executive assistant), and Sadie (Sadie Figueroa, color stylist).
	+ Liam's girlfriend, while unnamed, seems to be based on writer Karla Sakas Shropshire, in terms of her appearance. It's also most likely she's named Karla herself.
	+ Interestingly, these were girls that some of the boys were trying to impress, while following Lincoln's girl advice.

## International edits

* In the Hebrew dub, Liam misinterprets Lincoln and Clyde's bunny rabbit balloon as a hamburger rather than a cheeseburger.

## References

* ***Five Guys*** - "Pie Guys" is a reference to the fast food restaurant.
* ***Wilhelm scream*** - When the birdhouse collapses, the well-known Wilhelm scream can be heard.

## Errors

* When Luan is counting her money earned from selling balloon animals, she is counting by ones starting with 98. But the monetary value of the bills is $20 and she has at least 7 of them, meaning she has approximately $140.
	+ In addition, some of the 20's on the $20 bills Luan is holding are inverted.