Support Box: S02E07

Go East, Young Box is the seventh episode of Support Box Season Two and the fourteenth episode overall. The episode is about Support Box and Question Box being sent to Mongolia to do an episode on a terrorist organization.

## The Episode

(support box and question box are sitting inside a jeep driving down a dusty road)

*WELCOME TO SUPPORT BOX, THE SHOW WHERE WE TALK ABOUT SUPPPORT BOX!*

*WE'RE OUT HERE IN MONGOLIA FOR A VERY SPECIAL EPISODE! FEELING EXCITED, BOSS?*

**QUESTION BOX I AM PISSED OFF! I TOLD THOSE STUDIO HEADS THAT I WANTED TO DO AN EPISODE IN THE EAST AND THEY SEND US TO MONGOLIA! NOTHING HAPPENS IN MONGOLIA!**

*WELL, HERE TO ANSWER OUR QUESTIONS IS PRIVATE STEVENS! GIVE US THE RUNDOWN!*

The President deployed us in Mongolia because there's civil unrest brewing. A terrorist organization is gaining power, and if they rise up, it could spell danger for the West.

**THIS SOUNDS LIKE A STUPID REASON TO SEND TROOPS TO ANOTHER COUNTRY! WHY CANT HE JUST SAY ITS FOR OIL?? LEAST THEN MY TAXPAYER MONEY IS SPENT ON BLOWING PEOPLE UP! I WANTED TO GO TO JAPAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!**

*aw come on boss! this is gonna be a fun vacation! mongolia has a rich culture behind it, and even richer food!*

**UNLESS THEY'RE USING ALL THOSE HORSES FOR BURGERS, IM NOT INTERESTED!**

(the jeep enters a city and private stevens parks the jeep)

Alright, you two. I've been tasked with getting information from an informant. Stay in the car, I won't be long.

**BUT COME ON PRIVATE PARTS!! THE BEST THING ABOUT TRAVELLING IS FLEXING ON THE NATIVES WITH YOUR WEALTH! DO YOU KNOW HOW FAR $20 CAN GET YOU AROUND HERE?**

*and i was gonna take some pictures for my Question Blog!*

Okay, fine! Just keep it down! You can wander around a bit, but after I'm done, we need to leave ASAP!

(private stevens walks away while support box and question box leave to explore the city. question box takes photos left and right)

*WOW! LOOK AT ALL THIS CONTENT FOR THE QUESTION BLOG! THE PEOPLE ARE SO AUTHENTIC AND RUSTIC!*

**YEAH YEAH THATS NICE AND ALL BUT WHERES THE POOR PEOPLE DISTRICT? I WANNA PAY TWO PEASANTS TO BEAT EACH OTHER UP! IT'D BE BUM FIGHTS, EAST ASIA EDITION!**

*THINK BIGGER, BOSS! WE COULD GO HORSEBACK RIDING, OR LEARN HOW TO THROAT SING, OR EVEN VISIT THE GENGIS KHAN MONUMENT!*

**WHO?**

*YOU DONT KNOW WHO GENGIS KHAN IS?! HE'S ONLY THE HEAD OF ONE OF THE STRONGEST EMPIRES IN HISTORY! HE UNITED THE STEPPE TRIBES AND PILLAGED ACROSS THE LANDS!*

**AND PEOPLE BUILT A STATUE FOR THIS GUY?! MEANWHILE THE FRONKU CITY COUNCIL WON'T LET ME HAVE MY OWN MONUMENT! THE STATE OF OUR SOCIETY, QUESTION BOX!**

*HE WAS PRETTY COOL, BOSS! MAYBE I SHOULD WRITE ABOUT HIM FOR TODAY'S QUESTION BLOG!*

**ALRIGHT FINE ILL BITE QUESTION BLOX! WHAT IS THE QUESTION BLOG?**

*ITS A PLACE WHERE I WRITE DOWN MY THOUGHTS ON LIFE AND STUFF!*

**FOR ANYONE TO READ?! AND TO THINK ONLY A FEW DECADES AGO PEOPLE WORE TIN FOIL HATS SO NO ONE WOULD HEAR THEIR THOUGHTS! THIS SOCIETY, QUESTION BOX!!**

*it isn't that much different from the show, boss...*

**YEAH WELL THATS DIFFERENT! WE TALK ABOUT HARD HITTING TOPICS THAT THE PEOPLE DEAL WITH EVERYDAY! MEANWHILE YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WHAT?**

*well, last week's topic was about pears and how tasty they are!*

**FUCK PEARS! THEY'RE THE WORST FRUIT IN EXISTENCE! THEY GO FROM RIPE TO OVERRIPE TOO FAST! THEY HAVE THE PERFECT TEXTURE FOR LIKE 2 DAYS BEFORE THEY'RE A SQUISHY MESS! KNOW WHAT'S A BETTER FRUIT? APPLES!**

(question box give support box a knowing look)

**KNOW WHAT, I LIKE THIS WHOLE BLOGGING THING! ITS JUST LIKE THE SHOW, ONLY 0 PRODUCTION COST! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A SUPPORT BLOG?**

*AW COME ON BOSS!*

(the boxes pass a food stand selling fried fritters on a stick. question box is enticed by the smell)

*WHAT IS THAT AROMA?! IT SMELLS DELICIOUS!*

(the stand operator speaks in a foreign language)

*I DONT KNOW WHAT HE'S SAYING, BUT HE HAS THIS CONFIDENCE AROUND HIM!*

(the man smiles pleasantly)

*I'LL TAKE TWO!*

(question box pays and the man gives him two sticks. he takes a bite out of a fritter and starts jumping with joy)

**jesus question box calm down, it's just some backstreet food in mongolia. not like you're taking a nice juicy bite out of a support burger, only found at Box's Big Burger! did you know that for this week only, the support burger is only $3? get yours today!**

*but boss! the flavor is out of this world! it's salty, its crispy, its creamy, its perfect! you gotta try it!*

(question box offer a stick and support box cautiously takes a bite. he also smiles)

**question box...THIS FRITTER SPOKE TO ME! ITS LIKE IF GOD SENT HIS SON TO EARTH IN THE FORM OF A TASTY SNACK! HIS MESSAGE WAS...SELL ME FAR AND WIDE FOR DOUBLE THE PROFIT! MR. MONGOL MAN, WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS MORSEL?**

oh this? this fried horse testicle!

(support box and question box's eyes widen and they spits out whats in their mouths)

**WHAT?! YOU CHOPPED OFF A HORSE'S BALLS CARTEL STYLE, DEEP FRIED IT IN OIL AND PUT IT ON A STICK?! WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU?!**

monster who make lots of money! eating horse testicle give you power of horse! make you strong!

*EWWWWWW AND I TALKED ABOUT HOW IT WAS SALTY AND CREAMY! WELL YOU TRICKED THE WRONG BLOGGER!*

(question box pulls out his phone and records the man and his stand. a crowd gathers)

*THIS MAN NO THIS SICKO IS SELLING HORSE BALLS TO PEOPLE! IT IS 2019 + 4, WE NEED TO THINK DIFFERENTLY! WE NEED TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WE PUT IN OUR BODIES!*

hey arent you box who sell american burger with 4 patties?

**THATS RIGHT! IM GONNA REPLACE THESE NASTY STREET SHOPS WITH A BOX'S BIG BURGER! ONE ON EVERY CORNER!**

(the people are now becoming agitated)

*alright boss, i think it's time for us to RUN!!*

(the boxes flee the area as a mob of mongolians chase them. they steadily gain on them)

**QUESTION BOX...I CAN'T MAKE IT, I'M TOO FAT! WHY COULDN'T WE BRING THE INTERN WITH THE WHEELCHAIR?!**

(a black car pulls up in front of them, its back doors opening. the driver lowers his windows)

Get in!

*MY MOM TOLD ME NOT TO GET INTO CARS WITH STRANGERS!*

**DO YOU WANT TO HAVE YOUR BALLS COOKED UP TOO, QUESTION BOX??! GET IN THE CAR!!**

(support box and question box jump into the back and the car speeds off)

**phew....THANKS FOR THE ASSIST BACK THERE! THOSE MONGOLIANS ARE ANIMALS! CANT EVEN APPRECIATE A GOOD BURGER...NO OFFENSE**

None taken. Would you two mind leaning forward for me?

*you seem like a trustworthy guy! sure!*

(the boxes lean in and the driver reaches for a spray can, spraying support box and question box. both begin to feel sleepy)

**AW COME...on....**

(soon, they're both knocked out)

To Be Continued...