Knife Fight Babies

## Plot

Following the relative success of the then Knife Fight City Trilogy, 'Knife Fight Babies: The Blood of the Womb' was Beeple's first real attempt to get into the children's film genre.

'Babies' begins as all life does, with a gratuitous sex scene. The amorous couple climax and are laying there, basking in the afterglow, when the woman stabs the man in the face and flees the scene. As we follow her flight, we see her running through the world, and the camera slowly pans down, zooming in onto her navel. We see a single sperm fight its way to the egg and slash its way in. She is pregnant. The next few minutes follow the development of what is revealed to be triplets inside the womb. Suddenly the fast forward stops, and all three fetuses jerk awake as they realize where they are, and what's to come. The three all touch their nubby hands together in the womb, and a subtitled vow is overlaid onto the scene.

They vow to protect each other, no matter the cost.

The birth of the children is rapid and uncomplicated, despite buckets of blood flowing from the mother. and three girls are given to their mother for the first time. They are given the names Susu, Ubod, and Toorey. They very next scene has time skipped forward 1 year. All three babies now have matching back tattoos of a snake wrapped around a long knife, it is their first day at daycare and they have all hidden several shanks in various places on their bodies. Susu has one in her lunchbox, Ubod in her sock, and Toorey has two in her sleeves. The girls are left at daycare, where they are immediately challenged to a knife fight by an older boy. Toorey and Susu distract the boy while Ubod shanks him from behind. Unfortunately, she is seen and all three are placed in timeout. The girls spend their time there doing calisthenics and body weight exercises, somehow aging their tiny bodies to the size of toddlers. They are released after several minutes for good behavior and told to go play with the other babies. The shot pans to a wall of armed toddlers, carrying an assortment of pipes, knives, forks and other lethal implements.

The music kicks in and the girls and the mob begin to sprint towards each other. For several minutes we are treated to a scene of two opposing forces slowly getting close to each other as the music builds, then they collide. The bass drops, and for the next 37 minutes there is violence unlike what has ever been wrought on the silver screen. After the flight, it is naptime. and the babies recline on the bodies of their "sleeping" foes. The Girls awake to their mother, bloody, beaten and victorious come to claim them. The film ends with them being securely fastened into their car seats with a 4th wall breaking PSA on child safety.

## Cast

Jill Mehoff - Professional Sex Worker, notable for several of her more exotic performances such as 'Uno Burro' and 'Go Ask Your Mother.'

Many uncredited babies were filmed both with and without parental supervision, but with none credited there was no need to compensate them in anything other than exposure.

## Production

Following the ultra-successful release of Disney's 'The Fox and the Hound' Beeple knew they had missed a critical market. The studio was allotted an unheard of $2,400 and 3 months to "exceed the standard set forth by that goddamn mouse."

Fortunately for the studio, a popular adult film star, Jill Mehoff, had just announced a sabbatical from her filming schedule for her pregnancy. She was persuaded to do a quick sex scene for and the featured running scene with $30 and 2 packs of Camel Lights. The male actor went uncredited, but surprisingly was the only injury of the film. Beeple had specifically instructed the no children were to be harmed in the production of this film, and the studio threatened to pull funding if any accidents were to occur.

## Filming

Beeple had to arrange a highly complicated method of shooting every fight scene as the babies could not actually walk or be trusted with the prop knives they were often given to hold. Using what may be the first documented case of 'wire-fighting' the babies were puppeteered into making a near perfect fight scene individually, then pasted together in post-production with minor editing, such as blood sprays. The tears involved were quite often unexpected but kept for dramatic effect.

## Music

Knife Fight Babies: The Blood of the Womb was noted and critically acclaimed for its inventive use of remastered, recut and re-dubbed radio edits for most of its soundtrack.

## Marketing

Knife Fight Babies: The Blood of the Womb being intended as a children's movie had extensive marketing plans drawn up, but the studio had already blown the entire budget on tacos, cigarettes and liquor for the editors.