Putting the Pal in Palpatine

> T*his episode is about the second half of Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. We Spoil It.*
>
>

## Episode 15-0b

### Director

Rogue Leader

**If they were a** : Microaggression People Don't Think Is Racist

**Rogue Three:** The only one race, the human race.

**A Star Wars Question**: What thing that ***didn't happen*** in Star Wars this week are you most mad about?

**Highlights:**

* Saf admits she may be a cannibal???
* Jefferson Rendar, father of Rogue Nine
* You don't grow a mullet then quit.
* Death Star Geometry revisited.
* "We never repeat a joke twice." the rogue podron mantra.
* Millicent shoutout.
* "Aren't berries just egg for plants?" and other statments that make Danny cry...
* Force Power: Jedi Zoomies
* Meg DID actually call it ~link pending~ (unlike Poe)
* Jay DID actually call Rey Palpatine ~link pending~
* Saf DID also predict Rey Palpatine.
* Even if you're related to space Hitler, you CAN still choose your family!
* Expect Nothing : Still Disappointed
* Palpatine Saga
* 4 out of 5 Rogues Agree, Palpatine Fucks
* So Many Reys just waiting to be Pal-Patines
* Things Saf wanted to draw: The Palpatine Sisters
* "The Force is magic that works as a plot device." Rogue Seven's new mantra
* Actually, the wreckage of the Death Star II is on Kef Bir, a different moon than the Sanctuary moon the Ewoks call home, but orbitting the same planet of Endor.
* Klaud>Jannah>Babu Frik
* Jannah is more than just hetero-bait.
* Is Jannah Lando's Daughter? A Podron divided!
* If Lando's kid got abducted, there would be a whole Legends book about it.
* Lando founds 23andMe/Deprogramming camp on Bespin for former Storm Troopers. FINS UP FOR REDEMPTION!
* Rey learned how to boat in a sim?
* Maz Puppet=Episode 1 Yoda Puppet.
* Leia is in the Force, just like Carrie, so she's always with us.
* TFW you realize you like Ben Solo.
* The only time we've ever been disapponted to see Han Solo is when we thought we were going to see Hayden Christiansen.
* Cheeky Rogue Six at 45:10
* The President from Armageddon? Richard from Spice World?
* Rey had to leave Ach-To before the fishnuns came for her Force Bones.
* Spoopy Force Ghost at 49:10
* Rogue Nine's hot take: Jedi Leia, not a fan.
* Legends Leia maybe actually>Canon Leia???
* Not all heroes wear ~~capes~~ lightsabers LUKE
* General = Husband
* Rey in the helmet is poetry, it rhymes.
* Palpatine wants to be inside Rey but even he needs consent.
* Rey DID call that Palpatine was Plagueis. ~citation not available~
* Ben Solo got the moves like Hohass
* All the Sith, All the Jedi, All the Ships.
* We are all WOO Girls for Wedge Antilles.
* Saf is a Woo Girl for Snap's death.
* We love the Wedge cameo, but why was it the ONLY cameo???
* Wes is not dead in canon.
* Want your husband back? Hire Wedge to hit on you.
* Wedge doesn't just have a thing for widows, he provides a SERVICE.
* Knights of Ren were also there.
* The Knights of Ren are proof that JJ Abrams was a weeb.
* Shoutouts to all the Jedi voices.
* Rey is awoken with the power of BOTH KENOBIS.
* Saf did not lose her absolute shit until the second viewing.
* #MaceWasRight
* Anakin Skywalker spends all his time as a Force ghost avoiding eye contact with Mace Windu.
* UNLIMITED POWER<UNLIMITED RATIONS!
* "[Reylo] is like Romeo and Juliet!" - Rogue Six
* "Romeo and Juliet but WORSE!" - Rogue Seven
* Nobody in Saf's part New Zealand is a Reylo.
* Saf has still not seen The Empire Strikes Back as of January 20th, 2020
* Fuck off, ghost!
* The Monkey Paw has infinite fingers.
* Do Force Ghosts Fuck?
* More importantly, can REAL GHOSTS fuck?
* Leia built the Resistance high command out of gays.
* Old Wicket and son. Send tweet.
* The three eye eopee variant is the biggest unanswered question of TROS.
* The rest of the pordron just breezes past Danny's joke about BB-8 representing Tattooine's twin suns, but we won't.
* Finn, Poe, and Rose are hanging out in the falcon with the AC on while Rey does her thing at the homestead.
* Mos Eisley Maclunkey photo booth.
* Amy Sedaris' five step plan for gentrifying the outer rim.
* 1:40 Quality Babu Frik impressions.

**Responses to Last Week's Glistener Question:** What side jobs did Poe Dameron have to pay for his college tuition?

Answers deferred to next week!

### **This Week's Glistener Question:** What else does it say on Palpatine's dating profile?

Meg: He's SAPIOSEXUAL.

1. ↑ Not to be confused with the MOVIE, Solo.
2. ↑ Pretty sure Danny meant Independence Day.
3. ↑ bones
4. ↑ pepperocinis
5. ↑ Obi-two Kenobi