Artesius

— Artesius to his opponent at Thomas Tulaney's Death Day Celebration

**Artesius**, also known as the **Pong Demon**, is a demon in *Afterparty*. He is a friend of Thomas Tulaney, and is met by Lola and Milo during his Death Day Celebration at the Schoolyard Strangler.

## Personality

Artesius is an arrogant, competitive demon who enjoys making witty insults towards others. He takes failure badly, losing his temper and blames his defeat on tiredness should he lose to Lola. He frequently mocks his opponents and respects those who make good trash talk, shown by his begrudging willingness to let Thomas invite Lola to his party should she make good comebacks.

## Appearance

Artesius is a purple demon who wears a grey, short-sleeved open shirt with a red collar and sleeves over a white shirt with a low neckline; blue jeans with rips at the knees; and brown shoes.

## Background

Artesius is one of Hell's demons, whose job is known to involve torturing, stabbing, and eating the penises of negligent and abusive fathers. According to himself, Artesius holds the distinction of having eaten the "most this quarter in any division". Sometime after his arrival in Hell, Thomas befriended Artesius, and became well-acquainted enough with him to be invited to his Death Day Celebration.

## Plot

As Milo and Lola walk into the bar for the first time with Sam Hill, Artesius can be seen celebrating a victory at beer pong across the room. After Thomas teaches them about the effects of Hellcohol, Artesius invites Thomas for a rematch at beer pong and they leave together to go play. If they choose to go up to the pong table, Artesius insults Milo before Thomas invites them for a game of beer pong.

If Milo and Lola choose to take up their offer, Artesius chooses Lola to face off against. During the first three rounds of the game, Artesius hurls insults towards Lola, who can choose to make comebacks; if she chooses the Hellcohol-influenced options, Thomas will laugh after each one.

Afterwards, if Lola won, Artesius angrily complains will "ruin [his] whole week]", but expresses approval to let them upstairs. If she lost, Artesius gloats as Tommy either compliments Lola's insults and invites her upstairs or lightly rejects them before returning to a corner with Artesius (the latter of which forces the two to provoke Danny and the doll demon instead to distract the bouncer).

## Relationships

* Milo and Lola - Artesius is hostile towards the two humans at first, but is willing to let Thomas let them upstairs should that happen, saying they're "goofy looking enough".
* Thomas - Though they are good friends, Thomas dislikes Artesius' tendency to pick fights with others and tries to rein him back when he can. They share a casual attitude towards friendly trash talk, with Thomas laughing at Lola's drunken comebacks towards Artesius should she choose to make them. If Lola manages to win the pong game or made a good insult, Thomas looks for Artesius' approval as he invites them upstairs.

## Quotes

"*Tithead Tommy, are we having our rematch or have your balls not grown back yet?*"
— Artesius to Thomas
"*That's awesome! You know what'd be even more awesome? If you could stop talking and never start again.*"
— Artesius to Milo during their first meeting (determinant)
**Milo:** "*I've, uh, never played before. Is it like normal Pong? Cause in that, the ball bounces back...*"
**Artesius:** "*You catch on quick! Did you die drinking bleach thinking it was just really painful water?*"
— Artesius and Milo (determinant)
"*Gather round, everyone, this chickadee thinks she's a rooster, already. Well I eat people who eat roosters for breakfast.*"
— Artesius to Lola upon initiating the pong game (determinant)
"*I cannot believe this shit! My arm was tired from stabbing and eating fathers all day! This isn't fair--this isn't fair!*"
— Artesius after losing the pong game (determinant)
**Lola:** "*Go do your job and eat a dick, buddy.*"
**Artesius:** "*I was going to on the way home, what do you think about that?*"
— Lola and Artesius after the latter wins the pong game (determinant)
## Trivia

* Artesius is good at Hell's version of quarters, which is "quarters, but less evil".

## Gallery

### Screenshots

Artesius celebrating his victory as Milo, Lola, and Sam walk in.Artesius inviting Thomas for a match of beer pong.Artesius playing beer pong with Lola. (determinant)
## References

1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 *"I cannot believe this shit! My arm was tired from stabbing and eating fathers all day! This isn't fair--this isn't fair!"*
- Artesius to Lola if she defeats him (determinant)
2. ↑ *"Hey now! Artesius, Consumer of Negligent Fathers, that's not cool."*
- Thomas to Artesius after he insults Milo
3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 "Thomas: *"Yeah, of course. It's kinda his job. If you beat your kids, he's gonna eat your dick."*
Artesius: *"Most this quarter in any division."*
-Thomas and Artesius to Lola (if Milo says nothing to them upon approaching them)
4. ↑ (If Lola loses to Artesius and chooses "Yeah. Whatever.")

 Monarchs
 1st and Izzard
 Bobolyne Park
 Little Rantalia
 Thrall City
 Minor Characters