recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
莫克沙王国

### -Moksha Kingdom-

兽人们因人类的贪欲与霸道而被迫流离失所，最终在“瑞帝昂斯战役”后齐聚此地，经过一段时间的生息繁衍，形成了自己的国家。位于梅斯蒂特大陆东南部的莫克沙王国，地理地貌以平原和高原为主，又因地势和历史遗留问题，大部分地区都呈现出半沙漠化的风貌。

出于对自然的深刻敬重，莫克沙王国的生态系统基本未经过刻意干预，经济、文化和工业水平相对较低。由于长期受到来自外族的欺凌和奴役，莫克沙相对孤立和排斥，很少与其他国家建立外交关系。他们对那些给他们带来深重灾难的人类抱有极强烈的敌意，即使在最近的和平条约下，他们也未曾放松过警惕。

**\*目前莫克沙正处于内政动荡时期，请结合该因素考虑是否投递人设。**

## 城市与地区

### 达维伦斯艾·恶魔之眼

其他
--

### 瑞帝昂斯战役·被铭记的历史

人类曾有过一段极度尖锐的锋芒时刻，那时的约尔兰国王被杀戮和制霸的信念蒙蔽，成为了恐怖的战争狂热分子。他因为兽人的反抗逐渐变得不耐烦，以至于想要将这个族群全数歼灭，直至一个不留。大肆屠杀的同时将兽人们的形象妖魔化，彻底激化了民族仇恨，推动事态发展到了一种疯狂的境地。

约尔兰的铁骑在数年之间踏碎的兽人头颅不计其数，大陆上的兽人不是东躲西藏就是被残忍屠杀，直至约尔兰的军队将他们仅剩的部落逼到了达维伦斯艾边境。金色的铠甲反照着黑色的地狱，兽首之民只能背水一战。然而，这一次，躲藏的奴隶，畏缩的战士们不再害怕。他们团结一致，挺身而出，以意想不到的坚韧反抗点燃了种族的骄傲。约尔兰军队最终丢盔弃甲，被这场“无畏的反抗”所击溃。

至此兽人才以一无所有的姿态一路北上，拿下梅斯蒂特大陆东南部并建立起莫克沙。这场战役也因此一直传诵至今。

国徽
--
The Book of Eno Wiki

本页面为企划《以诺之书-The Book of Eno》的维基百科页面。

以诺之书企划以完全架空的西幻世界观作为舞台。玩家将被分为冒险者与世界居民，以不同的身份对梅斯蒂特大陆进行探索。

招收画手、文手﹐接受文手使用约稿立绘与捏人。

**谢绝AI立绘、抄袭、描图等行为（一经发现将请出企划，感谢配合）。**

审核方面**不会对画技进行任何要求**，但相对的也请各位玩家用心对待自己的角色，所以谢绝狂草，画手立绘请尽量线条清晰，绘至大腿。服装风格可以参考**中世纪，避免出现东方元素、蒸朋等过于跳脱/过于现代化**的服饰即可。

企划组审核的重点将放在**文字设定**上，所以还请大家在企划世界观的大背景下自由发挥想象空间、仔细阅读企划书﹐如有不懂可以随时翻阅WIKI或直接询问企划组。如果人设出现不符合世界观的设定企划组也会给出修改意见。

本着“玩企划就是为了开心”的原则﹐在符合上述要求的情况下各位可自由游玩。

企划平台以微博和qq群为主。

官方微博：@以诺之书二期-TheBookofEnoII

一期审核群（qq）：735249088（已停运，仅做记录）

二期审核群（qq）：613640938（运营中）

主群群号于过审后带截图私聊NPC获得。

与本企划相关的任何形式的创作都可上传至企划主群相册。发布在微博的相关推文也可以@官博，企划方会积极转发，发布的同时也可以带上#以诺之书##TheBookofEno#的hashtag。

\*因为主群意在为各位玩家提供更方便的交流和沟通﹐所以**禁止开车**、**禁聊与企划无关的内容**（一经发现将请出企划，感谢配合）。

### 【玩法】

企划分为两种模式类型提供给玩家们选择，点击蓝字进入详细介绍。

1.世界居民玩家（即养老模式）

2.冒险者（即剧情打卡模式）

\*由于二期主线剧情自动衔接一期主线剧情，所以**默认冒险者玩家经历过一期的剧情**。企划组**强烈推荐**二期新入玩家先体验一遍一期主线剧情，也欢迎一期玩家随时对曾经的剧情进行回顾。（点击对应蓝字即可跳转至主线剧情页面）

更多信息可以点击以下蓝字进入分类页面：

目录索引
一期三章第二部分选项2

“就是你拯救了我的船队。”

面前站立着的四足兽人一直保持着微笑，与普通有翼一样高大的身形让他威严反增不减，并且增加了一些压迫感。在他的肩膀上停着一只白色的海鸟，你似乎在哪里见过……

“这次邀请你来，不单单只是为了向你表达谢意，我也想亲眼见见你是什么样的人。”他开门见山的说，“请别误会，你并没有辜负我的期望，冒险者。”他转过身，示意你跟上他，听到他小声地说了一句：

“你反而做得很好。”

卡缪尔会长与你交谈时的语气就如同对待一个老朋友一般，但却令人无法从中感到任何一丝所谓的亲切，这让你意识到即使他拥有在人类审美中也算绝佳的脸庞，却也并没有让他的话语更便于你理解。他无疑是兽人最深恶痛绝的那一批——那一批长着人类面孔的“畸形儿”，但他又与被欺压的那一群人完全相反，他高高在上，甚至被整个浮空城市尊为领袖。

在你们简单的谈话之后，会长带你走进了那间透明圆顶的巨大“庄园”。

开阔的空间里，并不密集但穿着统一的魔法师们在你们进来时向你们投来了目光，卡缪尔会长清澈的声音十分悦耳，他向魔法师们介绍了你，并告诉你接下来的半天时间里，他将带领你游览这座宫殿一样的学府，并在傍晚为你举办一场晚宴。

“那么现在，可以告诉我你有什么想去的地方吗？”他这样提问。

（请选择以下选项以完成剧情）

1-想去图书馆看看

2-想去看看天文台

3-会长来决定吧
1-询问画像中的人是谁

你走到了船⻓的身边，或是出于客套或是出于好奇，礼貌地询问了起来。船⻓对你突如其来的出现和提 问也没有感到惊讶，反而来了兴致:“你说这张纸吗?喔不，没有那么神秘，它其实是我妹妹的画像。 她是我唯一的小妹妹，名叫莉迪亚，也在魔法协会工作，不过我已经很久没有联系过她了。后来甚至是 听别人说起，我才知道她在做信使的差事。我航行在海上运送货物、妹妹翱翔在天空传递着信件，有翼族作为纽带为魔法协会搭建与外界沟通的桥梁......怎么样?听起来是不是很不可思议?哈哈哈，至少这是年少时的我不敢奢求的事情。我和莉迪亚因为天灾流离失所，一直相依为命，多亏了会⻓把我们从泥 潭中拯救了出来，对我们这种与魔法无缘的有翼族甚至视若己出。只是莉迪亚那孩子从小就比较冲动， 也可能是我事事都帮她安排得明明白白的缘故，她自己办事总是⻢⻢虎虎，遇到什么不称心的事情也会 做一些不考虑后果的决定......唉，也不知道她现在怎么样了，毕竟送信这样重要的事可不能掉链子 呀......”船⻓一个人念叨了半天，直到船尾传来一阵声响，才把船⻓从记忆中抽离了出来。

“啊抱歉，让你听了那么久的回忆，一定很无聊吧。我总是这样一谈起这些事情就会滔滔不绝，如果有 机会能联系得上，真想招呼上大家一起坐坐谈谈心啊。对了，怎么样，我的妹妹很漂亮吧?”说着他拿 着画像朝你的面前伸去，借助着身旁打来的灯光你也终于看清了画像上的人，莉迪亚......你的表情凝固 在了脸上，这似曾相识的面孔让你瞬间起了一身鸡皮疙瘩。你附和了船⻓，并没有多说，随着他船尾走去。

（请选择以下选项以完成剧情）

继续推进
一期一章莫克沙第二部分结局

你不知道自己睡了多久，在你浑身剧痛醒来之后，睁眼看到的是那位牛兽人兵长，那位在最初接待了你和奥斯丁的军人。在你迷茫的询问自己是怎么被救上来的以及控诉奥斯丁那个混蛋所做的一切之前。牛头兵长似乎知道你想问什么，提前开口了。

“我们在湖边救上了你，事实上我们早就和约尔兰取得联系，这件事已经交给了霍姆尼城的龙骑与圣骑制裁审判，你们已经安全了。”

随后你的问题都得到了答案。约尔兰与莫克沙早就留意到了边境安格尔邪教的问题，他们也早就注意到了高调的奥斯丁，他确实是个疯子，他以为自己在边境的关系能给他提供一层保护膜，以为自己的计划天衣无缝，其实只是两国边境的策略，他们需要等待需要时间，自负的疯子会自以为是的自投罗网。他在军营安排的死士早就被兵长制服，他昭然若揭的阴谋也在他走进军营时画上了句号。

根本没有圣骑士会来。这只是边境两国联合对奥斯丁的一个骗局，但现在他可能确实要去约尔兰见骑士和龙了。

要在临走前见见他吗？

（请选择以下选项以完成剧情）

1-要见

2-不见
一期二章乌特瑞尔第二部分结局

不知出于何种原因，你保留了那枚奇怪的珍珠，当你拖着一身伤回到冒険者协会后，艾尔玛吓了一跳，她翻着手里的备份任务羊皮纸，难以置信道：“虽然是A级任务，但是并不是需要战斗的啊！你发生什么了？”

等到你将一切告诉她后，艾尔玛颇有些怜爱地看了你一眼，“辛苦你了，给，这是当时蜜尼娅——哦不，这是那个凶手留下的委托金，希望能弥补你这段旅途的艰险吧。”

钱袋里是一份数额可观的金币，但似乎再多的钱也无法填补你有些空落落的心情，当那个有翼族女孩被带走的时候，那种恐惧的情感并不是伪装，但她明明曾表现得那么张扬...究竟想到了什么会让她产生如此惧怕的情感呢？是要被押送到魔法协会，还是要接受审判的缘故？她最后看向你的目光，究竟有什么想要说却没能说出口的话呢？

这个秘密似乎你永远无法知道了，过了不久，矮人小队长给你寄了一封信：

[致勇敢的冒险者：

一别数日，希望您身体恢复良好，我的伤势已经养好了，小幸福村的天气自那天过后一直晴朗，看来村民们很快就会忘掉这场悲剧，希望他们生活快乐。

审判庭前几日进行了对凶手的公开审判，她甚至曾经去往魔法协会，将切格一家的长女也杀掉了。不过因为这件事涉及了魔法协会，经过外交官和魔法协会外交部的交涉，凶手将交给巴特里亚进行处理，听说经过审问后，凶手终于将自己杀害切格一家的理由全盘托出，似乎她与切格一家有什么深仇大恨，所以决定犯下这种罪行，要我说，她真的太疯狂了。

与您的同行是难忘的经历，希望有机会能邀请您来我家里做客，我和妻子会非常欢迎您的到来的。

您忠诚的，不需要知道名字的小队长。]

【委托完成】

点此跳转回主线页面
一期二章巴特里亚第一部分结局

在获得足够的线索之后你向嘉里森说明了情况，嘉里森面色复杂地看着你，叹息道：“原来是这样...那就辛苦你去那边看一看了。”

他思考片刻，似乎有些不舍地从自己稍显破旧的长袍中拿出一块东西递给了你。在你接过后发现这是一张边边角角似乎因为长期携带而有些许磨损迹象、但整体上还是保存相当完好的羊皮纸。纸上画着一位长相称不上漂亮但也足够清秀的女性，嘉里森盯着那张纸继续说道:"这是雅黛尔唯一的一张肖像画，是我自己画的，或许可以帮你找到她的家人......”

你接过那张羊皮纸，听到嘉里森说道：“她有一头很漂亮的金发，我听她说在没有成为守林人之前眼睛是湖水的颜色，我想那一定是世界上最美的颜色。”

（请选择以下选项以完成剧情）

进入第二部分
Gargoyles (1972) (Song)

This song is played during airings of Gargoyles. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of "L.A. Goodbye" by The Ides of March.

## Lyrics

Well, my beverage needs to get stronger

Every time those things come by.

Motel windows they'll break down

Trying to reclaim their guy.

Cuz a semi left him dead

Now Diana needs a hero

When she got off her plane

I wish her dad'd explain

Why don't we see gargoyles fly?

Why don't we see them fly?

When they don't fly

They walk 'round on the ground

But why?

Why don't they fly?

Cuz the budget grounded them

That's why!

I wish they'd fly!

Gargoyles get a grip on our road trip

Dismantled on the highway.

They set fire to that tourist trap

And we lug the bones away.

Now we see fright rears our way

It's not the best side of New Mexico

Though we avoided flame

Biker boys got the blame

Still we ask, "don't gargoyles fly?"

Why don't they fly?

Please state they'll fly

They'd run they'll leave the ground, now

You'll see them fly

That's why there's a winged guy, now
The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966) (Song)

As of this writing, this song is still being played during MeTV airings of The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Stagger Lee.

## Lyrics

The night brought fear to this timid fellow.

He believes there's ghosts around.

He was drivin' past the corner when he saw a man was dead,

But it turned out this woman just smashed him in the head.

To their glee, he looked silly, but if Alma he would win

Had to stay in a haunted house so he dropped in.

What he'd see was chillin' and left him cold and clammy.

There was blood on the keys they couldn't get out with Bon Ami.

Such a scoop he printed about blood and pointy shears,

But it's funny how stuff in daylight disappears.

Tho they said, "Atta boy, Luther!" from a hero he was switched,

And he got into hot water with Darren from Bewitched.

They would see that Simmons, who said, "I will ruin your life!

"There's no way I'll be made a fool by Barney Fife!"

Could it be that Luther gets revenge on those who laughed?

Kinda doubtful when we know that he just got the "shaft!"
The Kiss of the Vampire (1963) (Song)

This song is played during broadcasts of The Kiss of the Vampire (1963). It features Svengoolie and Doug Graves. It was originally recorded for the October 26th, 2013 premiere of the movie on Svengoolie. During that week, Rich Koz had a cold but the show must go on!

The song appears to be a parody of "Beer Barrel Polka" (Roll Out the Barrel).

## Video

An alternative lower quality upload of the second song can be found here.

## Lyrics

*In Bavaria, they'll scare ya with a ghastly face that glooms there*

*You'll always find a room there cause it's deader than a tomb there*

*There's music and there's dancing and some booze that's sleep-enhancing*

*When they get a soaka they should have taken wing*

*They're invited to the doc's salon*

*And meet Carl who thinks he's Elton John*

*Outside old Zimmer starts a fight*

*With a gal with an overbite*

*Now everybody's masked and getting down*

*Hey was that one guy there Bozo the Clown?*

*When Marianne finds she's locked in*

*Doc has her show a little skin*

*Run out of petrol*

*Ravna will say he'll get some*

*He'll dole out apparel*

*He's got the booze that will stun*

*Scream, cringe in terror*

*While hubby huddles with tramps*

*You should sell your soul for garlic*

*Cause the gang's all vamps!*
2-不借马

你并不在意自己是不是会不会迟到，路上虽然也并没有过度停歇，也算是缓步游历，不用自己花钱就能游览半个约尔兰，也算是一种公费旅游了吧，你带着这样的心情回到了苏佩厄堡。子爵夫人的生日刚好还有一天，敲门的时候你发现，只有仆人一脸悲伤的为你打开了门。仆人告诉你：子爵夫人前几天已经去世了，她在收拾柜子的时候发现了自己藏在柜子里的信。那是她唯一的儿子去世的消息。她应该早就知道了这件事，在见到你之前。但因为悲伤过度而选择性的忘记了这一切，没有什么宝石，一切都是夫人拒绝接受这一打击的逃避，她遗失的红宝石永远没有办法找回了。仆人把报酬交给了冒险者，委托结束了。

（你可以自行处理瑞德的徽章。）

【委托完成】

点此跳转回主线页面
Boddy Sorrell

Boddy Sorrell is the face on Svengoolie's coffin lid and voiced by Rich Koz (Svengoolie).

The name is a play on the name of Buddy Sorrell from CBS's The Dick Van Dyke Show. The handle on the front of the coffin is in homage to the original Svengoolie, Jerry G. Bishop, with a rough Latin translation of his famous line "the time has come for scary things."
2-在甲板上再逛逛

黑蒙蒙的雾盖在头顶，稀薄的月光在努力地渗透进来。在甲板上来回闲逛的你只能看清火把能够照亮的范围，也因此让你注意到了还没来得及关上的船室门，那是存放货物的地方。也许的换岗的卫兵还没回来，你可以趁现在进去看看？你抬起了虚掩的舱门一闪身钻了进去。

这里确实放着许多箱子，但你很快发现这些箱子的数量并没有你所了解的那么多，而箱子打开后更是让你震惊。这几天也偶尔惊奇过这艘船航行的速度，却没想到船上的货箱几乎全都是空的，怪不得船能走得那么快。你想起了早上与海盗的战斗，船上没有一个人不会魔法，你本来以为这也许是魔法协会的正常现象，但现在看来，这支船队上的人没有一个人不是战士。这样大张旗鼓地用商队做掩饰，实际上是军队作为核心的行为，你只能想到他们是在钓鱼，但显然不是在钓普通的鱼，而是大鱼。

头顶的甲板上有脚步声传来，你迅速掩藏了身影躲到了黑暗里。甲板上的人似乎在交谈，你的位置恰好隐约能够听见一点：

“怎么样，船长还是吃不下吗”一个人问道。

“怎么吃得下，是我我也吃不下。那可是幽灵船……只用两天就伏击了我们前后两艘船，两天！就像刀子切开豆腐一样轻松……就算有会长给的罗盘也九死一生啊。我本来以为我们早上遇到的海盗已经够厉害了……”

“普通人怎么和不死亡灵比啊……船长说得对，我们只有一个目的，就是找到他们的永生宝藏。”

“嗯……把它弄到手，咱们就能回家了。”那人小声的嘀咕了一句。

来不及让你沉淀刚刚的对话，看另一个人的脚步似乎是要往船舱这边来，你快步原路返回，离开了阴暗的舱室。

（请选择以下选项以完成剧情）

查看其他选项

结束探索
Interviews

This will be a index of interviews related to Svengoolie. If you are adding one, please include the clearnet link to the resource as well as a link to the Wayback Machine entry for the site in case the original link goes down.

## 2004

### June

-25 years of Svengoolie's humor (Wayback)

## 2012

### April

-Stooge-a-Palooza host Rich Koz - TimeOut interview with Rich Koz about The Three Stooges. (Wayback)

## 2013

### September

-Jerry Bishop, the original Svengoolie, dead at 77 (Wayback)

### December

-Svengoolie Talks Michael Bolton, Holiday Horror Flicks & More (Wayback)

## 2014

### September

-Rich Koz Celebrates 35 Years as ‘Svengoolie’ with New Museum Exhibit & Event! (Audio): 21 minute WGN Radio 720 interview with Rich Koz about 35 years of playing the role of Svengoolie. (Wayback - Direct MP3 download)

## 2015

### April

-Reddit AMA - Sven answers questions from fans on Reddit. (Wayback - Sven blog post advertising it)

## 2019

### October

-Chicago’s TV Icon Rich Koz to be Honored at The Museum of Broadcast Communications on Saturday October 26th (Audio): 27 minute WGN Radio 720 interview with Koz about 40 years of Svengoolie. [(https://web.archive.org/web/2/https://wgnradio.com/dave-plier/chicagos-tv-icon-rich-koz-to-be-honored-at-the-museum-of-broadcast-communications-on-saturday-october-26th/ Wayback) - Direct MP3 download)

## 2020

### October

-Rich Koz keeping Halloween season spooky as Svengoolie - The Day article and interview with a lot of personal life details about Koz.. (Wayback)

## 2022

### August

-What Are You Doing on Saturday Night? Staying Home to Watch ‘Svengoolie’ - Wall Street Journal article on the success of Svengoolie during the Covid-19 pandemic. (Wayback - Full text copy)

### October

-MeTV’s Horror Host ‘Svengoolie’ Plans Expansion With Nationwide Talent Search (EXCLUSIVE) - Variety article/interview about Spawn of Svengoolie. (Wayback)

-Svengoolie Talks MeTV’s ‘Halloween BOOnanza,’ Favorite Movies & His Horror Origins - Short TVInside interview, with video. (Wayback)

### December

-Exclusive: SVENGOOLIE Is Getting Much More Time To Shine In 2023 - Fangoria article on MeTV expanding Svengoolie to 2.5 hours in 2023. (Wayback)
一期三章黑船结局

海盗船的桅杆在令人头晕目眩的光芒中倾倒下来，巨大的船身先是发出细微的吱吱呀呀的声音，随后开始轰鸣，仿佛时间终于没有放过腐朽破败的船身，时针在这一刻重新开始转动。外层斑驳的木板一片片剥落下来，又在坠入海面之前化作微尘被海风吹散。海盗们的身体也随之灰飞烟灭，只留下痛苦的呻吟声，不知道存在了多久，腐坏了多久的海盗船就这样消散的无影无踪，没有一点存在过的痕迹。

你在海浪的颠簸中从甲板上醒来，呛出一口海水——虽然你并没有落水的记忆。

眼前是一艘有着开阔甲板的大船，压抑的大雾已经不见踪影，只有数日不见的晴朗天空和海风吹在你的脸上，让你愈发清醒了一点，但依旧迷迷糊糊的依靠旁边几个水手把你扶起来。你看到船帆上是魔法协会的标志，知道了这艘船的来源。回想起海盗船上的货物，终于将事情联系了起来。

这艘船的船长也在刚刚的甲板上与海盗进行了搏斗，高大的白色有翼族也受了不小的伤，但他还是拖着沉重的身体简要说明了你失去意识发生的事情。

失去意识？你想起自己爬上了桅杆顶端后看到的画面，却并想不起任何关于宝藏的事情来，像是进入了一个幻境。

看你似乎想起了什么，船长继续取出一封印有魔法协会火漆的信件，交给了你，伸出手接信封时你才意识到自己从刚刚开始的手心就一直攥着一个东西，摊开手时才发现，是一节水蓝色的珊瑚，它就这样静静的躺在你的手心里，你却似乎能听到它的心跳，是错觉吗。

看你迟疑这发呆，那位彬彬有礼的船长重复了一遍自己说的话：

“这是魔法协会会长卡缪尔给你的信，他想见见你。”

【委托完成】

进入第二部分
Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

A strange prehistoric beast lurks in the depths of the Amazonian jungle. A group of scientists try to capture the animal and bring it back to civilization for study.

**Released:** 1954

**Director:** Jack Arnold

**Writers:** Harry Essex(screenplay by), Arthur A. Ross (screenplay by), Maurice Zimm (story by)

**Stars:** Richard Carlson, Julie Adams, Richard Denning

**IMDB:** 6.9/10

**Sven Promo:** Official Site

## Song

The song that normally plays during the broadcast can be found here.

## Final Gag

Visit Universal's Creaturearium where you can swim with a live creature! (1950's women in white bathing suits get in free!)

## Broadcast History

Below are all of the indexed broadcasts of **Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)**.

### Svengoolie

February 5th, 2011

July 12th, 2014 - Blog post (2013 Flashback Weekend horror convention "On the Road" segment)

November 14th, 2015 - Blog post (New host segments, song, and higher quality print of film)

July 15th, 2017 - Blog post (New interview with pro wrestler Amy Dumas at C2E2)

December 8th, 2018 - Blog post (new copyright going forward)

February 16th, 2019 - Blog post (with Julie Adams dedication)

November 23rd, 2019 - Blog post

January 16th, 2021 - Blog post ("On the Road" segment with actress Carina Vincent, which originally aired on April 25th, 2020 for Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

February 4th, 2023 - Blog post (2.5 hours with extra clips)

### Son of Svengoolie

May 10th, 1980

October 17th, 1981

## Related Links

-Wikipedia entry

-Chris Hamby's blog entry for a broadcast
斯库姆魔法

斯库姆魔法最早源自一位爱上了陆地男人的海族公主，公主拥有高超的魔法技术，她为了爱情凭空创造了这个魔法，以自己的声音为代价，只为换取双足而与爱人在岸上团聚，但因为失去了说话的能力， 男人最终娶了别的女人，年轻的公主也伤心过度，被这不成熟魔法的反噬，变成了日出时的泡沫。

后来海族学者将这个法术改善之后，成为了每个海族的童年**必修课。**即使要付出短暂的代价， 但能上岸就能做很多事，依旧是利大于弊。 **代价是从五感（听觉、嗅觉、视觉、触觉、味觉）/声音中抽出一个感观做为基石，使自己能够长出类人的双腿。**改善后的斯库姆不会如公主一样变成泡沫， 也不会每一步都如同针扎，而且只要下水就能恢复本身的样子，是大部分海族会选择的方式。
街边一桌在喝酒的兽人们正聊着些什么，去听听？

为了能听得清楚，你向酒桌凑近了点儿。你注意到桌边倒着好几个酒桶，这桌兽人似乎喝了很多，你离他们十几步之遥也能闻到一股浓浓的酒味。 那个棕色皮毛的大嗓门儿犬兽人的声音率先钻入你的耳朵:

"你们听说了吗？我们的新国王好像遭遇了刺客的袭击呢。”

肌肉发达的牛兽人接上了话：“这事儿不早就传的沸沸扬扬了，可惜刺客没杀了那个混蛋。”说着他仰头猛灌了一口酒，哐的一声把酒杯砸回桌面，迸溅出来的酒液洒在他手上，他浑不在意地甩了甩手。

“开什么玩笑，让我们善待那些畸形的“同胞”？同胞？他们是魔鬼！我看着那些丑陋肮脏的脸就想一蹄踩碎他们的头！”

"是啊，亏他的父亲还死在人类的手下，他看着魔鬼的脸难道不会感到愤怒吗？操他妈的，什么兽人脑子坏了会在演讲途中下来阻止我们教训那个妄图通过乔装打扮，掩盖他可憎的模样的魔鬼？瞧瞧他扶起魔鬼那副“仁慈”的模样，他当年能活着从战场上回来难道受了魔鬼的恩惠？那婊子养的混账已经忘了杀父之仇？连带我们祖祖辈辈所遭受的苦难一起抛之脑后了？” 犬兽人咬牙切齿地附和道。

两个兽人的情绪愈发激动，那张小小的桌子似乎都要垮在他们的盛怒之下了，你不想再听下去，转身离开了。

（请选择以下选项以完成剧情）

查看其他选项
一期一章约尔兰第二部分选项

## 【来自艾罗利亚子爵夫人的一份委托-B级任务】

因为子爵夫人的委托，你跟随夫人给你的提示来到了战乱的约尔兰边境城市，名为霍姆尼城的荒芜之地，为她在霍姆尼城寻找她的红宝石。你不知道接下来会有什么样的事迎接你，但你知道这位生日在即的母亲期盼着什么，你只是为她达成她的意愿罢了，马车眼看已经抵达了霍姆尼城。

### 【地图介绍-约尔兰帝国-霍姆尼城】

约尔兰边境，位于南部右侧，这里因为与兽人国度的接壤以及两国互相仇恨的冲突，而争执了几百年。这块土地死去的灵魂不及其数，多年的争夺让人民也疲惫不堪，这里的土地和树木显然比在港口城市时见到的完全不一样，就连走在路上的居民都似乎对外来的所有人抱有敌视的目光，即使已经知道，约尔兰和兽人停战了数十年，但似乎并没有因为停战而让百姓的生活变的更好。这里的标志性建筑就是边境的长长的抵御兽人攻击的河堤，以及一个名叫分水湖的地方，这里曾是约尔兰上一任女王分割给兽人的筹码之一，它之所以叫做分水湖也正是因为，这片大湖的另一半，现在是兽人的国土。

（注意：在这里，兽人种族的冒险者会被异样的目光所排斥，甚至可能遭到人类的谩骂，但因为你是一位冒险者，他们并不敢对你做更多越矩的事。）

### 【公用线索】

你得到的消息指引你来到了这座城市，你已经知道了这个城市与子爵夫人的联系，也试图打听了一下子爵夫人家族的姓氏-布兰里夫，得知这个家族确实是在许多年前作为这里远近闻名的贵族而得到了大部分人的尊敬，而作为家族中的千金，子爵夫人远嫁到了沿海城市，也成了一桩津津乐道的美事。但这个家族的大约在二十年前就已经迁走了，就连之前居住的地方，也成为了战争的地带，普通人甚至没法前往。但有看热闹不嫌事大的好事人告诉冒险者，或许你可以去军队问问，冒险者的求助，军队或许会勉为其难的帮助你。

（请选择以下选项以完成剧情）

1-听那些人的建议，去军队里问问

2-先去找个落脚的地方
苏佩厄堡

约尔兰南部沿海城市，自由之都，贸易中心，一切与“繁华”有关的词汇似乎都可以用来形容这座城市。

苏佩厄堡内来往的种族多而密集，人口繁杂，能看到任何一种外貌的居民。这里的居民崇尚自由，热情好客，欢迎每一个种族前来，因此，苏佩厄堡也是整个梅斯蒂特大陆不同种族通婚和移居率最高的城市。

苏佩厄堡的建筑风格以白色、蓝色为主，多为海岸自然风貌，居民们最愿意推荐给外来游客的景色就是日落的美景。当太阳西斜，白蓝相间的建筑群被披上一层金色的外衣，海面也仿佛被撒上了金箔般波光粼粼，随着那一轮硕日逐渐被海浪覆盖，最后一丝光芒融入海水。这就是这里最美丽的风景，也是苏佩厄堡名字的由来。

作为海滨城市，苏佩厄堡风雨交加的天气也不在少数，但请放心，即使是昏沉如夜的暴风雨天气，也无损其滨城的美丽。
1-调查一下尸体

不大的房屋内躺着四具尸体，距离门口最近的是一个只有四五岁左右的女孩，她面朝下趴着，小小的手张开搭在门槛上，似乎临死前还在试图逃跑，再向里面是高大的金发男性，他身上满是反抗伤，看起来经历了一番努力的搏斗，可这也无法拯救妻儿的性命，最里面躺在卧室门口的就是妻子和十来岁的少年，母亲以一种保护的姿态挡在儿子的上方，脸上还带着绝望的神色，她们流淌的血液交融在了一起。无论对谁来说这场面都过于悲惨了，但地上的血液还在缓缓流淌，尸体触手温热，说明凶手刚逃走不久，仔细调查一下说不定会发现更多线索。

这样想着，你蹲下来查看了一番每具尸体，在金发的父亲紧握成拳头的手中看到了被攥成一团的布料，看起来是从凶手的身上扯下来的，布料质感柔滑，编织着湖色的花纹，这个颜色和质地让你忍不住想起一个身影……你压下心里的疑惑，继续查看下去，发现尸体身上的伤痕看起来没有魔法残留的痕迹，或许凶手是没有魔法的人。

“凶手是一名有翼族。”一直沉默着站在你旁边的小队长开口，他指了指父亲的手指，在指甲的缝隙中卡着两三根绒毛，“他们的实力差距犹如汪洋，父亲已经尽力了。”

熟悉的布料，有翼族，这两个特点将事情导向至一个你不愿意相信的方向。

（请选择以下选项以完成剧情）

查看其他选项

结束探索
蜜尼娅

姓名：蜜妮娅

性别：女性

种族：有翼族

年龄：136

身高：172cm

生日：10月29日

出生地：乌特瑞尔-克里拉

元素亲善：无

职业：织作家

简介：

蜜妮娅出生于一个幸福的有翼族家庭中，她从小在克里拉长大，拥有卓越的编织天赋，任何普普通通的织料在她手下都能绽放出独一无二的光彩。

蜜妮娅性格内向，有些害羞，似乎只有在面对织品时，才能格外自信。对她来说，织品就是最重要的，为不同的顾客编织出不同的织品，看到他们在看见织品后露出的喜爱的表情，是蜜妮娅最高兴的事情。只有在遇到不珍惜织品的顾客时，她才会显现出难得出现的强硬一面。

AW3807年，蜜妮娅的尸体于克里拉的一片山间密林中被发现。

## “蜜尼娅”

姓名：“蜜妮娅”

本名：莉迪亚

性别：女性

种族：有翼族

年龄：不明

身高：170cm

生日：不明

出生地：不明

元素亲善：无

职业：？？？

简介：

AO3807年，为了寻找儿时的玩伴而在佐拉发布了《友情与记忆》委托。

于委托结束后死亡。
幻兽种

传说中的幻想种族，拥有极高的智慧和思想，在现在的这片大陆上已经非常罕见了。或许唯一可以窥见一角的地方就是芙洛利安的斯那维克山脉，但因为特殊的气候条件，再加上精灵们对地区的封锁，久而久之也就成了传说。

幻兽之中其中原本最有代表性的是龙族。龙族绝迹之后，许多幻兽种，例如天马、狮身鹰首兽，也相继离开了这片大陆，或者说是隐匿了身影，去往了未知的地方。

### 史莱姆

另外值得一提的是，大陆上还有一种没有智慧、但又因为外形太过诡异而不被理解的生物——史莱姆。没有人知道它是从何而来，也没人知道它是从何时开始生活在这片大陆上的，充满谜团的身世也让它被归为了幻兽种。它们的存在曾一度泛滥，没有任何种族会对它们多看一眼，但百年前随着一些皇室开始带着史莱姆在高端场合露面，各国都相继刮起了将史莱姆当成宠物饲养的热潮。每个国家的史莱姆会受到海拔或其他外界因素的影响，从而变换出不同形态。所以直到现在，仍有许多狂热的“铲史官”为了收集史莱姆而踏上旅途。
1-要见

你看到了被关押在笼子里疯癫的奥斯丁，他的角被砍断，双手束缚了铁链，他仰天大笑的在对着远处的士兵嘶吼，疯狂的样子早就没了你第一次见他时绅士得体的样子，在见到你时，他停了下来，看着你的样子似乎要把你的肠子拉出来啃食“罪恶…………罪恶……………………一切都是罪恶，荒谬，死亡……灾厄将要来到你们的头顶，一切都会破碎，一切都不应该存在，一切都会毁灭………………罪恶，是罪恶…………终将来临哈哈哈哈没错”他抬起头看向了天空“终将来临我主终将来临，光明即将到来罪恶将被洗净，光明……光明………………Mennnn………………”他闭上了眼睛，似乎要说出什么话来，但他似乎意识到了什么，疯狂的抓挠自己的脖颈，很快，就在笼子里，就在你不远的面前，他整个人炸了个粉碎。肉和血飞溅的到处都是，听到动静赶来的士兵嫌弃的嘀咕，准备清理笼子，只留下你站在原地。

之后你被牛兵长送出了军营，他交给了你一袋金币，笑着说里面有你的医药费和一些奥斯丁那边缴获的金币，因为军营不能私吞，所以就交给你处理了，看起来是一笔不菲的金额。

你十分适宜的要将钱装进口袋，但口袋里却似乎还放着什么，随后，你摸出了一片红色的枫叶，这？这是哪来的？

【委托完成】

点此跳转回主线页面
Rubber Chickens

Rubber chickens are often thrown at Svengoolie following a terrible joke. The gag runs all the way back to the original Svengoolie, Jerry G. Bishop.

In a 2015 Reddit AMA, Sven explained:

> When the original Svengoolie Jerry G. Bishop started his show, he thought it would be funny to have things thrown at him when he did an incredibly bad joke. The usual rotten tomatoes would be too difficult to clean up after, so he decided to use the old stock vaudeville prop the rubber chicken.
>
>

During most of the Me-TV run, fans have been able to enter into a monthly drawing to win a "retired" autographed rubber chicken on the Svengoolie site.
3-会长来决定吧

当你说出由会长决定去处的话之后，你看到卡缪尔脸上露出了一个微笑。他用平和的语气道：“既然如此，就带你来看看我的小收藏室吧。”

说是小收藏室，其实也已经是一个独立的建筑了，不过比起建筑，它更像一个非常大的植物园——这所透明的拱形建筑，只是远远看上一眼而已，就已经见到内部的绿意盎然了。

走进去之后是相当开阔的一个空间，透明的墙壁上攀爬着许多你叫不出名字的植物，头顶上一些垂钓的绿植几乎将叶片伸到你眼前。你还看到许多少见的异兽被圈养在不同的园子中，在最中间的空地上，数多展台立在那里，展示的藏品有不知名生物的羽毛、犄角、甚至还有龙鳞，你还在其中看到了不少非常稀有的收藏品。

卡缪尔在你偶尔表露出感兴趣的时候讲解几句，他学识渊博，为你讲解的时候总能说出许多你不曾了解过的知识。这个看起来十分年轻的兽人已经拥有了超越这世上绝大多数人的智慧，可在你不知觉表露出对这次邀约的疑惑与急躁的时候，他却总能恰到好处地忽略你的急切，巧妙地将话题转移到另一个地方去，你只好配合他，将注意力转移到这些藏品上。不得不说，卡缪尔的藏品非常多，让你见到了许多平时无法见到的珍稀物种，不过在那其中也有几样非常普通的藏品，普通到你在探险途中随处可见的程度。当你表达出疑惑后，你看到卡缪尔露出了一个你读不懂的表情，这或许是你今天第一次见到他露出属于他自己的表情，但卡缪尔并没有解决你的疑惑，只是用“收藏一些普通的物品也是他的兴趣”这个有些敷衍的借口回答了你。

很快，他将你领到了一些珍稀生物羽毛的藏品面前，在五颜六色的羽毛当中，一片看似普通的白色羽毛吸引了你的注意力。“这世界的万物都有自己的一番道理，矮人庞大，兽人强壮，有翼精明，海族孤傲，精灵目光短浅人类自视甚高……只要你问他们，他们都有各自的理由去让黑的变成白的、好人变成坏人。即使是一片普通的白鸽羽毛。”他把那根吸引了你注意力的羽毛拿下来递给了你。

或许是你脸上的神色逗笑了卡缪尔，他笑了起来，继续以一种放低了声音后调侃的语气对你说：“只要告诉他们这是奇珍异宝，没有什么是他们不信的。”

他转身准备带你去下一个地方，忽然想到什么似的折返回来，“对了，这是天使的羽毛，送给你了。”

不过看起来他并没有要得到你的回答。

（请选择以下选项以完成剧情）

继续推进
The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll (1960) (Song)

This song is played during airings of The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Sugartime by the McGuire Sisters.

## Lyrics

Busy night and morning. Get a friendly warning.

Nobody has denied

Heckle Dr. Jekyll, and you'll meet Mr. Hyde!

Money goes to Allen, honey goes to Allen

They don't know they've been spied.

Chance a dance and you'll feel the beat with Mr. Hyde!

Put that potion in you and you'll start feeling weird.

You'll gain brute charisma, and you'll lose your beard.

Bleedin' on the missus, smack whoever this is,

Watch the snake-charmer, live.

She'll shed more than snake skin when she meets Mr. Hyde!

Kiddies in the morning, Kitty seems in mourning.

Further loans were denied.

But a new source of income can come from Mr. Hyde.

Strummin' with their chums and slummin' with some bums

And raising "cane" besides.

Due to his depravement, hit the pavement thanks to Hyde!

But some thought into who you chose to have hugged.

Boozing spawns a headache, and you'll end up mugged!

Twitchin' when he's Henry, twitchin when he's Edward

Switch to a downward slide.

Fail too much as Jekyll, you'll always want to hide!
The Night Strangler (1973) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV airings of The Night Strangler. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Old Folks at Home (aka: Swanee River) by Stephen Foster.

## Lyrics

Down underground in Old Seattle, Kolchak must check.

That's where he'll have to go to battle who's breaking bimbos' necks.

Carl can't unsnarl this crazy story that Tony hates.

Still, there's a killer here who's surfaced to grab a few blind dates.

Grandpa Munster's down there craving something you'd ferment.

I'd serve to observe "navel maneuvers" over in *Omar's Tent*.

This dude is snitching spinal fluid on the night shift.

Carl doesn't have his own car waiting; he'll give Kolchak a lift.

Cops want to stop he guy whose intent is these attacks.

The drawing of him looks like Vincent Price in the "House of Wax."

Each 21 years he appears to strangle the girls anew.

Put him on ice for good advice to get you and your little dog, too.
It Came from Outer Space (1953) (Song)

As of this writing, this song is still played during MeTV airings of It Came from Outer Space. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of The Yellow Rose of Texas.

## Lyrics

When her yell arose, it vexed us

She screams at all she'd see

Her buddy ought to kiss her

To shut her up, you see

She cries out at each little thing

You'd think she'd be more smart

I just wish she'd stop that screaming

Every time she gets a start

While it's neat that her guy knows blood

If she saw that guy who's two

Her cries of fright could rival

That sparklin' line of goo

You would think she just saw Frankenstein

And not a Joshua Tree

But her yell arose and vexed us

Cuz the girl's high-strung, you see

She can handle Paparazzi

And a starry sky turned bright

But a tin can wearing rugrat

Makes her cry out in fright

She can see a dead coyote

And a lizard makes her smile

And then she screams, but it just seems

It's the guy from Gilligan's Isle

In the streets a visitor shows up

From the meteor that blew

As she picks up a hitchhiker

That's what she shouldn't do

Lucky that she wasn't at that mine

Or her screams would hit high-C

Cuz her yell arose to vex us

Maybe she's scared of 3-D
Transylvania 6-5000 (1985) (Song)

This song was played during airings of Transylvania 6-5000. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head by Burt Bacharach and Hal David and seems to focus on the character Fejos played by Michael Richards.

## Lyrics

Kramer keeps falling on his head

But just cuz he in a movie with the living dead

Dying's not for he

Kramer keeps falling on his head, he keeps falling

Tho he just

Did him some talking to his son

Who taught him the proper way a prat-fall should be done

Just like on TV

So, Kramer keeps falling on his head, he keeps falling

Now there's one thing

We know

The accent he's attempting might be Russian

And he might get

A very slight or mild concussion

But Kramer keeps falling on his head

You'd think fear of injury just might fill him with dread

Yet, he's problem-free

Cuz, Kramer keeps falling on his head, he keeps falling

He's now pain-free

With a lobotomy
Zontar, the Thing from Venus (1967) (Song)

This song used to be played during airings of Zontar, the Thing from Venus. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, I have no idea what song this is based on. There's also a small bit at the end of this song that's based on Mbube by Solomon Linda.

## Lyrics

Ask my pal what he want me to see.

He said, My outer space CB."

You might like girls with enticing bods,

But wait 'til you see these injector pods!

Wait'll we arrive, Zontar

Not until we hit the bar

Wait'll we arrive, Zontar

And maybe I'll shove you!

Told Zontar he had nothing to fear

Tho mosquitoes seemed big this year

I smoothed my way with my cool tape deck

But his way is just a pain in the neck!

Wait'll we arrive, Zontar

Slugged a guy who wears a star

Wait'll we arrive, Zontar

And we'll be your stooges!

Th the cavern, but not a tavern

The Zontar creeps to fright....
The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) (Song)

This song is played during airings of The Curse of Frankenstein. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Singin' in the Rain by Arthur Freed and Nacio Herb Brown and made *most* popular by Gene Kelly.

## Video

Another low quality version of it can be found here.

## Lyrics

I'm bringing in a brain, just bringing in a brain

Did notorious dealings, while Paul would complain

Unwrapping some hands that fit like a glove

This guy's brain is great, so, I gave him a shove

Let the storm generate what it takes to create

This being who's seeing Ol' Grampa as bait

He'll stalk through the wood and be up to no good

Cuz killing is milling in his brain

That flinging the brain cuz Paul would not refrain

Now that bum cerebellum leaves this brute insane

He's grabbing him now and he's so afraid

He'd rather be in such a clinch with the maid

This mad mental case made a mess of this place

Could've cleaned with that towel he took off his face

No drinks, but Paul'd buy him a "shot" in the eye

That stinging, just stinging in his brain
The Brain from Planet Arous (1957) (Song)

This song was played during airings of The Brain from Planet Arous. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of *two* songs: I Am the Walrus by The Beatles and I'm Looking Over a Four-Leaf Clover by Harry M. Woods and Mort Dixon.

## Lyrics

I'm a brain and you're in pain

When I remain, and we are both together.

Fry 'em well done when they pull a gun.

See how they fry. He's fryin'.

Sittin' in the rec room

Waitin' to control this bum.

After Geiger countin' out the mystery mountain man

You've been a naughty boy, you let your face get tanked.

You cannot tell 'em

I'm cerebellum.

I am from Arous, you stupid boob!

That grey matter growing fatter

Can't get touched by stuff he throws at you.

If you are wise, when he gets creepy eyes

Cancel your flight. Stop flyin'.

Back at Mystery Mountain

Trackin' down a toasted guy.

Meet another space brain, says the first is insane

Says its name's the same as our Vice President's. It's Gor.

So, get the dummy

A lobotomy.

I am from Arous, you stupid boob! You stupid boob!

So.....

I'm taking over your pet dog, Rover

That I overtook before!

I'd have imprisoned that other brain thug

If I could just pass up each fireplug!

That dog got crabby when he got grabby

And his BAE-b he would engulf!

I'm taking over your pet dog, Rover

Since he took over a wolf!
Konga (1961) (Song)

This song is played during broadcasts of Konga (1961) and features Svengoolie, Doug Graves and Anita X. Orcist. This song is a parody of Abba Dabba Honeymoon by Arthur Fields and Walter Donovan (no, not the baddie from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade).

## **Lyrics**

Decker's gonna jab you when he's got you in the lab,

You know, the place your cage is at.

Take inoculation with complete cooperation

Or you'll end up like the cat!

All night, in the greenhouse, those two

Work together making this goo.

Succeedin' in feedin' scary plants like Audrey II!

Decker isn't blue when he's flirtin' with a student,

Which is causing Bob distress.

Then there's aggravation when the Dean begins beratin' him

For playing Meet the Press!

Because he threatened to discharge,

Into your cage did Decker barge

And went from a small to an extra-large!

(*Blow that brass, Anita!*)

Margaret's gonna blab about what goes on in the lab

Unless the two of them get wed.

Decker's getting Konga to do something really wrong,

A way to make his enemies dead!

Follow Decker's personal plan:

Riding in an A-Team van

Broke in, then chokin'. So, he ends the Dean's lifespan!

Everybody's gabbin' 'bout the victim he was grabbin'

By the throat to get revenge.

Then this turbaned man could throw on into Decker's plan

A major monkey wrench!

Since solo credit he desired,

With Konga, Decker had conspired.

So, the professor's shelf life has expired!
The Old Dark House (1932) (Song)

This song is played during airings of The Old Dark House. Featuring Svengoolie, Doug Graves and Anita X. Orcist, this song is a parody of Basin Street Blues, particularly (I believe) the Mills Brothers version.

## Lyrics

When the road gets overmudded

And your engine's flooded,

Stop at a place they should condemn

Find shelter in the old dark house of Femm.

You can dry out from the showers

While Horace dries the flowers.

His sister has no self-control

And his composure goes right down the bowl

The Old Dark House has this louse

Who's out of hand, cuz he's a souse.

His silent schemes bring on her screams.

His moves intimidate.

Oh, just please have a potato!

Have a seat. Have some meat.

She thinks that it's All-You-Can-Eat.

Leaving is what I would choose

If I were in your shoes!

(*Blow that wood, Anita!*)That came out wrong. That came out SOOOO wrong!

(*And blow that brass, Doug!*)

Suffer from a bad case of wind

While sister thinks that Margaret sinned

She ain't learned much to look, but don't touch

And Miss DuCane runs in the rain

And makes poor Morgan feel the "pane."

Morgan causes more distress

Turning the tables on this guest

She hopes that Philip might

Make him see the light!
The Blob (1958) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV's airings of The Blob. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of The Fishing Hole by Earle Hagan and Herbert W. Spencer.

## Lyrics

Take a quick look and you can see

This town is just like Mayberry.

Even our hero has to jump

When he meets Helen Crump.

The old guy who first found the slop

Is Emmett from the Fix-It Shop.

If this kid wasn't such a dope,

He'd be a lot like Ope.

Can you tell me

This isn't Aunt Bee?

You'll lose your life

By trusting Barney Fife!

The more you look, the more you'll see

The Blob town's just like Mayberry.

And though James' dad is kind of vague,

He's a hairless Howard Sprague.

The good cop, Dave, comes in handy

To be like firm but fair Andy.

Each McQueen pal is like a boob,

So, they're Gomer and Goob.

The bad Blob, under close exam,

Is just like Aunt Bee's homemade jam.

But I can't help but be annoyed.

Which one of these is Floyd?

When we compare

One thing's different

Why does this guy

Look like George Reeves' Clark Kent?

Other than that, I think you'll see

This town is just like Mayberry.

If you check in with their police

There's one bullet apiece!

Alcohol makes a drunken slob,

So, Otis is The Blob!
The Invisible Ray (1936) (Song)

This song is played during airings of The Invisible Ray. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Das Glühwürmchen (The Glow-Worm) by Paul Lincke and Heinz Bolten-Backers and translated into English by Lilla Cayley Robinson.

## Lyrics

Shine Dr. Janos, sit and glitter

Sharing the spotlight made you bitter

You proved your belief was fine

With props they used in Frankenstein

Shine Dr. Janos, glow there, glow there

Cuz Africa, you had to go there

For your find you made a fuss

And now you're luminous

Shine Dr. Janos, you're not so bright

Even though now you're like a night light

Don't know how that suit protects

A can on your head and gloves by Playtex™

Mine Dr. Janos, then scare your team

You melt a rock like lukewarm ice cream

Don't face Bela in a fight

He might turn out your lights

Whine Dr. Janos, you lost your wife

Radium X now makes you take life

From your hand the rays come through

Cuz you just did in Scooby-Doo™

Shine Dr. Janos, fix your mommy

Just like radial keratotomy

Can't beat that last rhyme, so I'll go

You shine, Dr. Janos, glow
The Killer Shrews (1959) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV airings of The Killer Shrews. Featuring Svengoolie, Doug Graves, and Anita X. Orcist, this song is a parody of The Birth of the Blues (I think) by Ray Henderson, Buddy DeSylva and Lew Brown.

## Lyrics

They trapped poor Rook in a tree

When his branch failed, you see

That had made him a snack for the shrews

And though the storm put out power

It remains Happy Hour

Just to offset the wrath of the shrews

To poor Ingrid Goude this guy was rude

And it's a strong hunch

Though martinis flow, the way things go

He'd rather have "punch"

Though things get fright'ning with lightning

They keep drinking booze

Cuz cheap effects gave birth to these puppets (uh, shrews)

(*horn time!*)

They took these cute little guys

And made them Supersize

They're dogs disguised as the big killer shrews

And when they start to infest us

This drunk future Festus

Is weak defense when he's facing the shrews

There's a little gore, but not much more

To keep this PG

Alpo doctor showed that Mario

Needed Luigi

And if these pests do ingest you

They'll just leave a shoe

Yet, one human is worse than the shrews
Tribute Song for Ed Wood

This song was played during an airing of Plan 9 from Outer Space (I think...) Anyway, it features Svengoolie, Doug Graves and somebody cosplaying as Vampira (I'm not sure who that is). The song is a parody of Norwegian Wood by the Beatles.

## Lyrics

I once saw a girl, but critics said "She" was a "He!"

They showed me his films. They're not too good. They're by Ed Wood.

The films starred Tor Johnson, who's big as Wisconsin, and bald!

He'd hire-a Vampira, and actors so bad they appalled!

In films he directs, special effects come off the street.

From devils he did or rubber squid. It's mostly "sheet."

He'd land in a stand-in for Bela, who thought he was Drac,

And hang out with women who'd give him the shirt off their back.

Whether it's Plan 9 or Night of Ghouls, cheesiness rules.

Monster Bride or Glen, if it's not good, it's by Ed Wood.
Rodan (1956) (Song)

This song was played during airings of Rodan. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Little Brown Jug (I think).

## Lyrics

Me and Kiyo got distressed

When our little home had an insect pest

You can tell that no one laughed

When a few miners got the shaft

No ha-has for their fate

Bitten by bugs with armor plate

Call the cops. It's too late

There's no way to exterminate

There's big insects on the loose

And they wanna play duck-duck with this goose

There's a panic in the town

Cuz the mine is watered down

H²O seeping in

It'll drown bugs and then we'll win

But no-no-no, it's got thick skin

Water and bullets won't sink in

Sinkhole takes them down some pegs

And Shigeru sure didn't order eggs

Breakfast brought his memory back

The bugs became the hatchling snack

Pteranodon. Soon it flew

It takes this bride and leaves her shoe

S.O.S. Fighters fail

Why does it leave a vapor trail?

The UFO meets foes head-on

So, the Air Force tries to find Rodan

Then they find he's got a gal

And neither of them is Pee-Wee's pal!

Was Toho short on cash?

Haven't we seen this sign on M\*A\*S\*H?

Lengthening a scene made it worse

Obvious film run in reverse!
Invisible Agent (1942) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV airings of Invisible Agent. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Yankee Doodle.

## Lyrics

Cranky dude'll crank it down

His motive is apparent

Frank stuck a needle in his arm

And called himself transparent

Frank's the dude who messed things up

Once he took his clothes off

It's a barn, watch where you step

And bomb them from the hay loft

Invisible Frank must learn the date

Our nation be invaded

If Mr. Raymond hadn't sneezed

This show would be R-rated

Let Maria zipper up

Stick a fork in this ham

Put some poultry in his pants

He'll run into a door jamb

The enemy would love to see

Frank in that Empire coffin

But when they come to wipe him out

Maria wipes him off, then

Frank's the dude who's soaping up

To fight the foes they've dreaded

Who'da thought we'd win the war

Because he felt light-headed?
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943) (Song)

This song is played during airings of Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, I have no idea what this song is based on.

## Lyrics

Hey!

What if ol' Frankenstein could open what's shut?

Suck in yer gut.

He'll kick yer butt!

Yeah!

What if ol' Frankenstein would upset your cart?

He's not too smart it seems!

The big green fellah's played by Bela

Who, by Talbot, now is bossed!

Our microwave's not big enough

To put him on "defrost!"

Chill out!

What if ol' Frankenstein were chilled to the skin

When the Wolf Man dropped in?
It! The Terror from Beyond Space (1958) (Song)

As of this writing, this song is still played during MeTV airings of It! The Terror from Beyond Space. Featuring Svengoolie, Doug Graves, and Anita X. Orcist, this song is a parody of Up on the Housetop by Benjamin Hanby.

## Lyrics

Up to the top deck the crew withdraws.

Out comes slicing Martian claws.

All through the spaceship in pursuit

After Van gave him the boot.

They don't know! Where did it go?

How did it get on board below?

Up from the planet they exit.

Who stowed away? The Martian "It!"

First, it was Kienholz in a jam

Pinned after a body slam.

Then it was Gino, and Bob just bets

His death was caused by cigarettes.

They don't know! Where did they go?

Now they know. Block the airflow.

One question 'bout all these dead guys:

Why do they have Svengoolie eyes?

Using their guns, the crew defends

Looks like It! gave them the "bends."

It! fights the crew and goes berserk

Just like the Gorn with Captain Kirk.

Grenades blow! Just made him slow.

It's a "drag" facing this foe.

Up to the deck they fail, alas!

It! wouldn't even stop for gas!

(*Blow that brass, Anita!*)

Sneak up on him by the back door

In space suits straight from the Dollar Store.

High voltage won't do in this brute

He's too well grounded to electrocute.

They can't go save their comrade

Monsters know "Fire BAD!"

It made a mess with each attack.

Somebody go get a Shop Vac!
1-胜利（黑船1-3-1）

羽翼化作白骨的船长正如你所想像的那么可怖，他似乎感觉不到受伤和疼痛，你的每一次攻击都对他仿佛抚摸一样无效，而他对你的攻击却是招招毙命。在你躲闪他的攻击花费了大量力气，最终被他用骨翼刺穿了肩膀与大腿后，精疲力尽的你才把他引诱至合适的位置，将甲板上掀起的木板碎片刺入他的骨缝中间，在他的嘶吼声中给了他致命一击。可惜他和他的船员一样，并不会因能够杀死普通人的手段而死去——他现在这样到底算是是死了还是活着都很难说。趁着他暂时失去行动能力，你头也不回地快步跑向桅杆。

高入浓雾的桅杆下只有绳梯的残骸，你轻轻拽了拽，并不是陈旧腐朽所致，而是会飞的船长为了防备船员上去才破坏的，隔着浓雾你甚至看不清瞭望台的距离，回头看了看身体似乎正在复苏的船长，事不宜迟，立刻顺着绳索爬上了桅杆，得趁他上来阻止你之前找到宝藏。你屏住呼吸穿过了浓雾，来到了顶部的瞭望台。

踏上窄小平台的一瞬间耀眼的光芒包裹了你的身体，有什么东西靠近了你，似乎是很小的一个物件，但在你看清它是什么之前，一阵眩晕与模糊扭曲在了一起，再回过神来已不知自己身在何处。但一定不是在那摇摇欲坠的桅杆顶端，这里没有咸腥的海风，也没有桅杆下混乱厮打的声音。你在这看到了此生最想看到的一幕，是你最深处的心愿，也是你无法与任何人描述的渴望，他就这么真实地出现在你眼前，仿佛触手可及……

（请选择以下选项以完成剧情）

跳转结局
Revenge of the Creature (1955) (Song)

This song is played during MeTV airings of Revenge of the Creature. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of "Smiles" by Jimmy Dorsey.

## Lyrics

There are scales that make folks scrappy.

There are scales make you turn blue.

Use a scale to weigh that hot jalopy

That the Gill Man just casually threw.

There's a scale for how much tender feeling

He may have for that female he'll chase.

But the scales that make the public run now

Are the scales on the Creature's face.

There's scales of voltage power

One should use to make sure that it stings.

There are scales attached to claws that rise up

Just to grab a fresh order of wings.

There's a scale of just how much annoyance

Paparazzi heap upon this guy.

But the scales could never weigh the pain of

How he made Cindy Brady cry.

Maybe scales of rust were on the chain there

On the link that finally let go.

There's a scale to judge how long you'd sit there

'Til yer bored by Flippy's porpoise show.

There's a Richter scale that notes the impact

Of the blast that made the Gill Man float.

But the scale that strikes fear in your heart most

Is the scale that has me HIT THIS NOOOOOOOTE!!!
Children of the Corn (1984) (Song)

There are two versions of this song that I know of. And since it's been a while since I've seen him air Children of the Corn, I don't know which one Svengoolie currently uses. Or, indeed, if he uses *either*! Putin' On the Ritz isn't public domain now that Taco owns the rights to it, so that one was probably the one taken down by the bullcrap copyright law. But then again, the way that Satan-worshiping Disney Corporation hoards its intellectual property (including songs)... I don't know if he can get away with using the Mickey Mouse March one either.

So, I'll just post the lyrics in the order I became aware of them.

## Lyrics

#### Putin' On the Ritz

If you're lost don't go where you'll get accosted by kids who will leave you forlorn

They're the Children of the Corn

Some Crayolas and even banned victrolas can't hide the brats who'll make you mourn

They're the Children of the Corn

No adults to speak here on your behalf

Carrot Top'll try to get the last laugh (*no more decaf*)

Come across a guy who was boss and you'll understand the reason that we warn

'Bout the Children of the Corn

Isaac makes sure visits get disastered

Trying to control the tykes he mastered (*little b@$t@rd*)

Next time, fly! Or simply drive by! Or still, better yet, try driving with your horn

For the Children of the Corn!

#### Mickey Mouse March

Who are Children of the Corn who always make a mess?

F-L-A-K-E-Y P-U-N-K-S

Hey there! In the road there! Don't you ever second-guess

Those F-L-A-K-E-Y P-U-N-K-S

Flakey Punks! (*in the stalks*)

Flakey Punks! (*wearing socks*)

Forever, let us hang our oldies high! (*High! High! High!*)

Save your dough, do not pass "GO" and cut out all excess

F-L-A-K-E-Y P-U-N-K-S

Who's the bleeder of some schlub who never would "corn-"fess?

F-L-A-K-E-Y P-U-N-K-S

You there! In the row there! Climb aboard the Corn Express!

F-L-A-K-E-Y P-U-N-K-S

Flakey Punks! (*in the shucks*)

Flakey Punks! (*"Waaw, shucks!"*)

They never let you get that caffeine high!

Bring your knife and give your life to share in our success!

F - L - A...

K - E - Y...

P - U - N - K - S!
McCloud Meets Dracula (1977)

While trying to get on a squad tracking down a sniper (which he ultimately does, by accident), McCloud happens onto a series of murder scenes where the victims' blood was drained from them through bite marks in the neck, leading him to a retired horror-film actor who seems to live as Dracula.

This is a rare occurrence of a TV series' two-parter in lieu of a standard movie.

**Released:** April 17, 1977

**Directors:** Bruce Kessler

**Writers:** Herman Miller, Glen A. Larson, Michael Sloan(story editor)

**Stars:** Dennis Weaver, J.D. Cannon, Terry Carter

**IMDB:** 7.8/10

**Sven Promo:** None publicly surfaced digitally

## Song

The song that normally plays during the broadcast can be found here.

## Broadcast History

Below are all of the indexed broadcasts of **McCloud Meets Dracula (1977)**.
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995) (Song)

This song was played during airings of Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of Signed, Sealed, Delivered by Stevie Wonder.

## Lyrics

Like a fool, hung out with these jerks

Now I'm hopin' that this blood still works

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO baby, here I am

Sign, sealed, imprisoned indoors

On the highway, made roadkill fry

Now I'm trapped, and so afraid I'll die

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO baby, here I am

Sign, sealed, imprisoned indoors

Here I am, baby

Sign, sealed, imprisoned indoors

Here I am, baby

Sign, sealed, spillin' on floors

He grew a lot of ghoulish things

Just like oozin' stuff that's green

Seen sone scary things not from this world

Can't figure how this ghoul was once this hottie girl

OO baby, there I go

Spine, sealed, imprisoned indoors

OO that ghoul throwin' up green fire

Bald guy still smells like a burning tire

eww baby, here I am

Sign, sealed, and disarmed indoors

Here I am, baby

Sign, sealed, imprisoned indoors

Here I am, baby

Sign, sealed, with envision through doors
The Lost Continent (1968) (Song)

This song was played during airings of The Lost Continent. Featuring Svengoolie, Doug Graves, and a Jacques Cousteau puppet, this song is a parody of Too Late for Goodbyes by Julian Lennon.

Another short one, but still, I believe it's worth preserving.

## Lyrics

Ever since seaweed's leading them wherever it wants to

Now at this seafood salad bar the watercress orders you

And it's much too late for much help

Cuz yer just new bait for some kelp

When the seaweed's carnivorous, out to dinner you'll go

Now if it wants some French cuisine, it'll grab Jacques Cousteau

Cuz he's just new bait for seaweed

His last TV show's guaranteed
The Thing That Couldn't Die (1958) (Song)

This song is played during airings of [ ]. Featuring Svengoolie and Doug Graves, this song is a parody of two songs: Streets of Laredo by Frank H. Maynard (presumably) and I Ain't Got Nobody by Spencer Williams and Roger A. Graham.

## Lyrics

As Boyd stalked out with the key unafraid, oh

I know he checked out this tomato, I'd say.

He died a punk cowboy, too wrapped up in sinnin'

Mike's wrapped in beginnings of doing what Drew'd say.

Jess sees in the dug pit that he's a dead cowboy

Cuz nerd slipped her the dipstick and so she crept by.

Don't sit down by Linda, Drew's mind power she's into.

That head dreads the chest and I think we know why.

Great ghostly crewmen had carried his coffin,

Now his gritty noggin takes up closet space.

They gave him the ax for transgressing too often

And now he's to thank for Hank's slap in the face.

Mike banged the gun loudly, displayed the knife proudly

Was hit by hot lead when the cops came along.

He lost in this tussle, in spite of his muscle

Cuz Drew used the big guy whose brain wasn't strong.

I can't find my body, cuz Drake hated me, I guess!

I'm so bad, if only Jessa could help me out of this mess!

I'd have you do wrong, honey, make you do harm,

If you'd just take off that lucky charm!

Oh, I can't find my body, so be my carcass GPS!
一期三章第二部分结局

再次睁开眼时又不知过了多久，海浪有节奏地拍打在你的身上，这样的感觉仿佛在不久前刚经历过一次。没等你仔细回忆自己的经历，一个熟悉的声音从耳畔传来。

“啊——我还以为你真的死掉了呢……”尖耳的黑发女人长舒了一口气瘫坐在地上，“为什么人家出来度个假会碰上这种事情。”

那声音的源头不是别人，正是多次间接地把你推向现在这副下场的艾尔玛，冒险者协会的艾尔玛。你的思绪写在了脸上，而她却在瞟了你一眼后，自顾自地继续说道，“不要这样啦，如果不是我把你从海里拖回来，你早就成为茫茫大海里的一具无人问津的浮尸了。”

你注意到了不远处的一艘小船；沙滩边缘拖行的痕迹；再看了看疲惫不堪、浑身沾满了沙粒的艾尔玛，她不像是在说谎。但刚刚发生的事情使你的大脑过载，冒险者协会到底是什么？难不成自己在不知不觉中为恶势力卖了命？艾尔玛也和自己是一样的遭遇吗？这时你忽然回忆起了刚刚来自天使的那一击，那穿透腹部的剧烈疼痛应该是足以致命的，但究竟是为什么自己还活着呢……

伤口处还在隐约传来的疼痛感将你的思绪拉回现实，海水的盐分像无数只蚂蚁啃食着你裸露的伤口。你试图检查自己的身体，却发现伤口的地方没有预想中的窟窿，反而贴着来自会长的礼物——那片铜片，它静静地躺在你的腹部。当你用手去触碰它的瞬间，那原本完好无损的东西立马化成了灰烬消散在了咸腥的海风中。

也许是会长救了你一命。

沉默了半响，你和艾尔玛有一搭没一搭地聊了起来，周围的空气比曾经在协会时尴尬许多，虽然艾尔玛的语气还是一如既往地轻快。据她所说，她在你承接完最后一个任务不久后就离开了冒险者协会另谋生路。

“家族产业算是在我这里败光了，”她戏谑地诉说自己的遭遇，“虽然还没有接下来的安排，但我难得有了假期，所以想好好地放松一下。于是﻿我划着我亲爱的小船，正打算出海玩一玩……结果！你猜我看见了什么！我看到了爆炸的魔法协会！以及在海上漂浮的你！呀，我当时真以为你已经没救了呢，你的命是真的硬啊。”说罢她如往常一样拍拍你的肩膀。

“不过也真是没想到，魔法协会也会变成那样，你死的那会是没看见啊，巴特利亚被侵蚀了半座城那么大的窟窿，全都是黑乎乎的、恶心吧啦的东西，我已经好久没见到这种景象了……还好「祂」忽然就走了，卡缪尔跑得可真快……”她向着海面张望，原本应该是停靠着魔法协会整个城市的海面已经什么也没有了，她又收回眼神看向了你，血红色的竖瞳中倒映着你的面庞。艾尔玛眯起眼睛，露出了游刃有余的微笑，“说起来，你见到「祂」了，对吧？那么接下来你有什么打算嘛？亲爱的冒险者。「祂」不会想让你继续活着的。”说到这，﻿她突然收敛了微笑，﻿那是你没有见过的表情，﻿“我必须提醒你，接下来的路会比之前更难走，也更危险。但我知道有地方可以暂时保护你的安全，那里的人们可以告诉你你想知道的一切……怎么样？要不要跟我走一趟？……虽然我真的很讨厌那帮乡巴佬。”句末，她小声嘀咕了一下。﻿

“如果你还能够信任我的话，我会尽量使用魔法替你疗伤，还有冒险者协会的纹章……如果想要把它消掉，也可以随时和我说，我可是在说实话，但反正所有的决定权在你。”她试图扶你站起来，但最终决定放弃，于是蹲下来和还没完全恢复行动力的你继续着自己想说的。

“你把我当做一个热心的旁观者好了，但如果你实在怀疑我，或是怕被我伤害，那你也可以尽管离开~反正明天一到我就会启程去我想去的地方了。”她拍了拍膝盖上和手上的沙子站了起来。“好了，现在我们可得找个地方落脚嘞，我可不想在海边过夜！”

“不过无论你怎么选择，现在已经不能回头了。”﻿说罢，﻿黑发的女人轻笑着﻿向远处走去。﻿

【To be continued】

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