Tails of the Fey

The cast during the live stream

> "*I am a small cat, and I raise my little paws, and I go like this.*"
> ― Perigrindr Shook
>
>

**Tails of the Fey** was a live stream D&D adventure run by Matt Baume on Twitch. It is the continuation of the Lost Treasure of the Neverglades adventure, part of the Extra Life series, wherein the adventures try to shake their feline curse.

## Synopsis

Previously: *Perigrindr Shook's research led to the discovery of a lost treasure in the Neverglades. His trip was funded by Charismo Collins who hired Agrias Lunnette and Grady Reineke to help get them there and keep them safe. Inside the temple, they were initiated into the cult of Cal-Gon and asked to leave an offering. All but Grady did, and the others were turned into cats. They escaped, hoping to find a cure for the cat curse at Perigrindr's magical school.*

The group arrives at the College of Wizardry and are met by Professor Redgrave who takes them to a library. She notes that there are only two cats. After inspecting them, she asks if they want the good news or bad news. After realizing they can still talk, the cats ask for the bad news. She answers that Charismo seems to have run off through a portal to the Fey Wildes. Her research hasn't yielded much information other than the longer they remain felines, the worse it will get. The good news is there may be a way to delay or break the curse in the Fey Wilde. Titania, Queen of the Seelie Court of Fairies, who resides there, may find this amusing enough to change things. Perigrindr recognizes her name, but is concerned about the artifacts they found. Redgrave says their top men are researching it, but don't want to risk messing with Cal-Gon and making things worse.

Perigrindr isn't sure he wants to change back, but Agrias really wants to change back, and Grady wants to have her house free of cats, although her fox Vidor, has become dad-like to the cats.

They head out of the college to a ring of mushrooms. They step into it and begin to hear music. They all attempt to dance to the song and the world transforms. The stone towers of the college burst into colorful tents and the whole world changes colors. Disco floor tiles lead back towards the transformed college as calliope music plays.

The college seems to have the same layout, but instead of students it is full of clowns. One with black glasses approaches you. She welcomes to the Clown College and asks if the cats are Grady's. Grady is uncomfortable and nudges the cats forward to talk. Agrias says this is a nightmare and hides behind Grady while Perigrindr resents the assumption that a cat is owned by anyone. Remembering the mission, he asks how to find Titania. All the clown says is that she is all around, but suggests they prove they can fit in by being humorous.

Perigrindr, grudgingly, does some acrobatics, with a nat20. Agrias spits out a hairball and puts it on her nose, which disgusts the clown. Grady uses *minor illusion* to create the image of a half inflated baloon as Vidor runs under Agrias and runs around like a rodeo clown. This goes over very well and Tina the Clown laughs.

She transforms into regal robes as the other clowns bow down before Titania. She asks them what brings them here.

Grady holds up Peridrinr and explains these two cats were transformed from their original form by Cal-Gon, and hopes to find their third friend and turn them all back. Perigrindr clarifies he doesn't want to lose his mortal mind and wants his magical powers back, but would prefer to be a cat still.

Titannia offers to help them by giving them their mortal forms while in service to her (though they must keep at least one cat feature), and to help guide them to breaking the curse, if they help her locate her own missing feline: The original conjuring cat, the magical Mr. Mistopholes. Agrias asks where he was last seen. She says heading towards the bog, and they can smell a sickly sweet smell from the east.

The group agrees. Agrias is restored, but with a cat tail, and Perigrindr regains all former strengths and skills. Titania moves backwards into the crowd, fading away as she calls her name.

Right away, Vidor and Perigrindr sniffs to locate a trail, neither one doing very well, but Perigrindr can barely smell it through the sweet smell from the east. They follow the trail.

Upon reaching the pink bog, they find it is bubbling and sickly sweet. Across the stone path over the pink mud is a tuxedo cat who looks at them and then takes off. Agrias tries to eat some of the mud. It tries to pull her in, but she breaks away, although her hand is covered with goop.

To cross the bog, Perigrindr summons a floating disk which they all hop on. Grady lassos a branch on the far side, and they pull themselves across, while both of the others spin their cat tails to propel them across, both getting some mud on his tail.

On the other side, they see eyes in the shrubs and dart after it, calling out to whom they hope is Mr. Mistopholes. Their chase leads them to a clearing with three huts: one of straw, one of sticks, and one of bricks. Three upright pigs in farmers garb are gathered in the middle, smell the arrivals, and greet them. Perigrindr begins to flirt with the stoutest pig. Agrias is stunned that it worked, as the stout pig picks up the cat. Another pig warns them about the wolf coming back, and Agrias asks if he is hot. Grady wants to know if there are any otters.

The pigs say they have been holding off the wolf for days but aren't sure they can keep it up for long. When they hear about the quest for Titania's cat, they offer to give info if the group will assist them. They begin to hear a growl and one pigs runs into the straw house, and the second pig in a jock strap moves towards the stick house, and the overalls pig bolts into the brick house as the wolf appears. It heads towards the jock strap wolf.

Perigrindr, who has gotten onto one of the roofs, casts *fog cloud* with a swirl of his forepaws. Agrias casts *command* and tells the wolf to submerge, but the wolf seems immune to the spell. Instead, Agrias casts light on the edge of the bog shore, trying to lure the wolf over. She then casts *bless* on the party before dodging away from the wolf. The wolf emerges from the fog near her, with a jockstrap in his mouth. She shoves the wolf towards the bog. He lands in the mud and struggles, but doesnt sink.

Vidor runs up and snatches the jockstrap from the wolf's mouth. He snags it, but is knocked into the mud by the wolf's claws. Grady lassos her companion and pulls him back to shore. She tosses it to Agrias, who wraps it around her tail, in memorial to the lost pig.

Back at the clearing, the other three pigs emerge, including the now naked middle one, who agrees to let Agrias keep his jock strap. The pigs thank them and asks how they can help. The trio asks how to get rid of the mud and the pigs mention a nearby lagoon that clears it off. Perigrindr, riding in the muscular pig's overalls, asks them to come along. They decline, but warn them about Mr. Mistopholes's scarf. The group is reminded about their own scarf fielding, cat cursed friend Charismo. They've never seen another cat. Agrias asks for help keeping the clowns away, and the pig's only suggestion is to keep the goo.

Perigrindr looks at the mud to see if he recognizes it. Other than detecting that it is sticky and magical, he doesn't know much. Grady gets a stick coated in it before they head for the lagoon.

Turning a corner after a ten minute walk, they find a satyr sitting in a lagoon. As he greets them, Perigrindr cleans his tail, now that they have a stick of mud. The satyr says he has seen the cat, but hopes they could spend some time entertaining him. Agrias's insight detects a tricky spirit to the satyr, and accuses him of secretly being a clown.

The satyr snaps his fingers, and the group feels dizzy and realize they now all have donkey heads, including Vidor. He says he will restore them if they answer some riddles, although Perigrindr is happy with his growing post-humanist state. As they answer each riddle, the donkey heads change slightly. In the end, everyone's head is restored, but Perigrindr's which has become reasonably cat sized. He loves it. As they were so swift, he offers assistance if they solve a fifth riddle.

After hearing their tale of what brought them to the fae wilds, and their curse (as the satyr pets Perigrindr). The satyr recalls having met the priest of Cal-Gon, who had a portal between planes on Fire Island on the material plane. He then sends them away to catch Mistopholes before he causes more havok.

The group follows the path, finding occasional tufts of black and white fur. After twenty or thirty minutes they find another clearing with a woman in white robes and a tall crowd muttering "bread and butter, bread and butter." She introduces herself as the White Queen and asks for help retrieving her shawl, which is blowing about. Perigrindr tries to jump into the air to catch it, but the breeze seems to have a mind of its own. So he casts *web* with a paw bean and a hoof gesture. It ensnares both shawl and queen, who quickly pins it back in place. The White Queen knew they could help as she remembers only the future. She then tells them they will find Mr Mistopholes, but can't quite remember what bad happens, other than the red mushrooms. Agrias asks if Perigrindr's form gets worse, and she only talks about the battle and the cat's cat. Then she slowly vanishes, replaced by a sheep. The sheep leads them towards another path, in no hurry to move along (still wearing her crown and shall).

Perigrindr decides to try and make her his familiar. As he tries to cast the spell on the startled sheep, he reminds her she already knows how this ends up and how she agrees to go with him. She kneels and he hops up on her back, affixing some of the branch mud to glue his butt to the sheep.

After another half hour, the animal calls are gone, as they reach a quiet clearing. A man in a tuxedo with cat features descends on a vine. He exclaims "Presto!" and the area bursts with color and light and blue and red mushrooms appear everywhere. From another direction comes a large six legged black cat with swirling tentacles coming from its back. He winks and hops onto the cat and asks if they are ready to play.

Grady leads the battle, casting *ensnaring strike* and swooping in with her swords. One lands, as vines ensnare the cat mount. Mr Mistopholes, pulls a long rainbow scarf from a pocket and casts *ensnare* on Grady, who becomes ensnared, saying he wont go easy on this one who isn't a cat at all.

Perigrindr goes next, asking why he wants to battle and not go home. He says Titania's court is boring. Perigrindr asks if Mistopholes can help them resolve their mortal forms. He says he cant stand the mortal plane worse than the court. The wizard offers him to come back just long enough for them to get what they want and leave again, and the fae asks what they have to trade. Perigrindr asks the White Queen for advice. She suggests they entertain him. Agrias says a battle for his life may entertain and Perigrindr, finally agrees to fight, ordering the sheep to ram her crown into him. It barely hits, but Perigrindr somehow takes damage. Looking back he realizes he trampled some mushrooms.

Agrias *commands* the cat man to *leash* his cat on his next turn. Vidor bites the scarf ensnaring Grady, much to the chagrin to Mistopholes. Vidor also damages a lot of mushrooms, getting poisoned.

The cat mount's tentacles whip out at Grady. In retaliation, Grady casts silent image of a gorilla body, zebra head, giraffe tail, tentacle arms, crocodile legs, and a party hat, standing on a ball. This delights Mr. Mistopholes. The image winks and the scarf uncoils from Grady. The cat man follows his previous command and tries to leash the illusion. Perigrindr joins the illusion and the scarf in a cat burlesque number.

Agrias notes the count mount seems a little curious and is drumming its paws on the ground. She casts *sanctuary* on Perigrindr and *light* on the White Queen's crown. She warns him to keep moving in case the cat attacks. She claps off beat to try and join in the performance.

Mr. Mistopheles and the cat dance. Titania strides into the glade, her voice coming first, with her clown attendants. The cat man leaps off of the beast. Titania looks at the mount and tells the party she will help them (as Agrias waves a pink mud hand to scare off the clouds).

Perigrindr investigates the tentacled cat, and realizes at rest the tentacles look like scarves and it is humming a familiar tune. Titania says their party has been reunited. She says she can prepare them to return to the material plane to break their curse if they stay here and serve her court. She also waves her hand and the clowns become otters. As time here flows as she wants, she will return them the moment they left.

Summoning the pigs to join the clowns and otters, she announces a revelry to begin to celebrate the party joining her court.

One of the guests lowers her hood. It is a hag who points at Titania and declares her sister is awake. There is a decree left when the hag vanishes in a puff of smoke saying Titania can keep control over the Fae Wild, but Avalon belongs to her sister, the Queen of Air and Darkness.

### Characters

#### Party

* Agrias Lunnette - aasimar/cat paladin
* Grady Reineke - human ranger
	+ Vidor - fox companion
* Perigrindr Shook - halfling/cat wizard

#### NPCs

* Professor Redgrave (debut)
* Tina the Clown/Titania (debut)
* Mr. Mistopholes
* Three Pigs
* Satyr
* White Queen/Sheep
* A Hag

#### Monsters/Enemies

* Wolf
* Battle Cat Mount

## Episode Notes

### Lore

* Cal-Gon's worshiper, the priest, has a realm portal on Fire Island
* The Fae Wilds are ruled by Titania of the Seelie Court, who lives on whims. She has a sister, a Queen of the Unseelie Court.

### Inspiration Earned

* Perigrindr - Getting offended for the assumption he, as a cat, has an owner.
* Agrias - for Level your Pussy Up line
* Perigrindr - Catness, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent

### Memorable Quotes

* "I take issue with the idea that there is anything about me as a cat that needs correcting." - Perigrindr Shook
* "I'm writing a monograph on my cat life... but what would it mean to have my interiority back?" - Perigrindr Shook
* "So you could say you literally leveled your pussy up." - Agrias Lunnette
* "It's my cheat day, and I put a little mud in my mouth." - Agrias Lunnette
* "See? I put on weight right away! One cheat day!" - Agrias Lunnette
* "I may be overcomplicating this." - Perigrindr Shook
* "Are there any otters in the woods?" - Grady Reineke
* "I'm not super into the idea of helping this racist pig." - Perigrindr Shook
* "It's anti clown goo!" - Agrias Lunnette
* "How does he feel about donkey-chimera cats?" - "How *everyone* feels about donkey-chimera cats." - Perigrindr Shook and Agrias Lunnette
* "I want a mermaid tail, but also a shapely butt." - Perigrindr Shook
* "These are two creatures right now, not a horrible mess like he is." - Grady Reineke
* "You're queering the meaning of personhood." - Grady Reineke
* "Like the musical with the chess piece crown... I love this one..." - Agrias Lunette

### References

* "Ugh, Jesus, gross." - Thorgy Thor
* Ms. Vanjie's exit line meme
* Sir Hiss from Robin Hood and Miles "Tails" Prower from Sonic the Hedgehog
* A Touch of Mink
* CATS
* Midsummer's Night Dream
* Carol Channing in Alice in Wonderland
* Tilda Swinton
* Human Centipede
* One Night in Bangkok
* Julie Taymor

## Behind the Queens

* Anthony Oliveira had received dice from Wizards of the Coast since the last game, to the jealousy of the other players, but still wanted Matt to roll for him.
* Brian Safi was due to reappear as Charismo, but was unable to appear last minute due to illness.
* This live stream aired on the last day of the first Queens of Adventure Kickstarter to start Season One, and can be found on youtube at:

**The Party**: Agrias Lunnette - Deven - Charismo Collins - Grady Reineke - Perigrindr Shook