Sleepless in Halcyon

from: jaime

hey wanna hang tonight?

i got the final legend of adlez

minis with her parents and elle went out with gaia

:(

i’ll order pizza?

to: Jaime

from: Seth

what time?

better be hawaiian 😎

to: seth ❄

from: jaime

when can you get here?

pizza would take like, an hour

and fine, but i won’t have any :P

to: Jaime

from: Seth

lame

make it half

i guess i’ll be there in like 30

to: seth ❄

from: jaime

[screenshot of an electronic receipt from Payne’ Pizza. One large hawaiian pizza, one large cheesesteak pizza, garlic bread, fries]

;)

to: Jaime

from: Seth

fucking rich people

don’t eat it all before i get there

to: seth ❄

from: jaime

it’s not coming for like 45 minutes

you’ve got time

and

only the best for you 💜

to: Jaime 💜

from: Seth

whatever

to: seth ❄

from: jaime

you know where i’ll be

to: Jaime 💜

from: Seth

should i bring anything?

we still have tons of soda from pride

oh

i have mini’s belts too

fuck

that sounds so wrong

-\_-

to: seth ❄

from: jaime

soda is great

but whatever you want?

be ready for me to kick your ass?

don’t worry, i’d just be impressed

maybe a little jealous

to: Jaime 💜

from: Seth

i could take you

theoretically

ok

more like

i could try

ignore that i could take you

but you can have that gremlin

tell her to eat more

so her belts aren’t so damn small

❤️

im bringing soda

to: seth ❄

from: jaime

i meant in the game :P

i’ve been practicing

irl i’m definitely gonna kick your ass

but i’d give you tips

i’m sure you could beat me

eventually

it’s like you don’t know her

mini doesn’t even listen to me

not my fault

see you soon 💜

Jaime stretched out and glanced at the time. Seemed like Seth and the pizza would be arriving around the same time, which was perfect. As gross as Hawaiian pizza was normally, it was even worse cold.

to: Jaime 💜

from: Seth

whatever

should i be picking up the pizza

on my way to your

room

cave

place od residence

?

i don’t know why i felt the need to specify

Seth slings his backpack over his shoulder and a few minutes later he’s sitting alone by a worn bus stop. He drums his fingers anxiously against his leg before checking his phone, and suppresses the small feelings of excitement that bubble in his chest as he reads the response. Any distraction is more than *welcomed* with Montreal looming over his head. And it seemed that Jaime had become a pretty reliable distraction lately…

to: seth ❄

from: jaime

if you want? should be there around 7:50

tip and everything’s paid for just have to sign

you’re the best

and my cave is better

harder to feel safe in my room :/

[attached is a link to a pizza tracker]

Jaime winces, remembering the video footage of Jack in their room. At least this place was safer. Just GAIA, and Seth, and Mini knew that they spent time here. But Seth calling it their cave made them smile.
They glance at the clock, a little bit anxious, before putting their phone down and picking up the controller for another go round at the dungeon. They remembered playing this game ages ago. Was it really this hard then?

to: Jaime 💜

from: Seth

sure

i’ll try my best not to freeze it before i get there

Lol

what’s wrong with your room?????????

Seth smiles a little as he grabs a seat at the front of the bus, eyes still glued to his phone. He opens the pizza tracker to find it pretty much traveling at the same speed as himself towards the base. The ride is pretty quiet and uneventful, but there are still a handful of stops along the way.
It takes Jaime longer than usual to respond, engrossed in this run of the dungeon. Their character exploded into a bloody spray of pixels and disappeared.

They check their phone and type Seth out a quick reply. It shouldn’t be too long until he gets here with pizza.

to: seth ❄

from: jaime

just steal his thermal bag

….

old team broke in

so they know where i am

kinda defeated the purpose of running y’know?

if they could just….get me back any time

what was their game? why let me go?

but we uh do not need to get into that

it’d be a lot

sorry :/

Why was it so easy for them to spill that to Seth. Was it because he was the first one on the team to know what they did and accept them? Encourage them to share? Because they didn’t have to look in his eyes when they did it?
Jaime clicked a few buttons on the controller and began setting up two player mode. Seth and the food would be here soon.

to: Jaime 💜

from: Seth

your really apologizing to the guy who cried his entire sob story on you last week

Jaime pls

but uh

yeah shit?

its ok if you dont wanna talk about it

but like

if you do

when the hell did that happen

isnt the base supposed to be all super secret and secure and shit

and like are you ok?

do I need to punch someone

preferably while im still fucking here

oh pizza

Seth eyes the delivery boy’s thermal bag jealously but signs on his phone and hands him a couple dollars. He sends Jaime a picture of the pizzas, and carefully holds the very edges of the bottom box, which he so generously makes sure is Hawaiian, before making a dash for the base.

to: seth ❄

from: jaime

couple months ago

it’s not a big deal

i mean it is…. but

idk

and teleportation

you’re sweet

but i don’t want you getting hurt

or doing something stupid

he’s not worth it

miss matter punched him last week and that felt good

not to steal your thunder

but don’t go looking for him

even for me

Jaime sighed and put their phone down. Not exactly the kind of topic that they wanted to get into with Seth. They wanted to have a *fun* time and not have to think about...everything going on. Let alone dredge up the past.
At least they could hope Seth would listen to them.

They could hear quick, careful footsteps making their way down the hall, and opened the door for their friend.

“Fuckin’ delivery,” Seth says and immediately passes the boxes of pizza to Jaime. “May or may not be frozen,” he says between breaths. “But I fucking hope not.”

He tosses his bag by the table and lands heavy on the couch, oblivious to the fact that he’s practically beaming.

“I could have gone to get it,” Jaime says, laughing. Their mood was immediately brightened by the smile on Seth’s face. Fuck, he was cute. Especially trying to catch his breath like that, a tinge of pink in his cheeks..

They busy themselves with grabbing some paper plates and splitting the boxes of fries and garlic bread in half. Neither of them were too badly frozen, just not quite as hot as they could have hoped for. “Not too bad, dude. I’m impressed. D’you just eat a lot of cold shit or do you rely on Mini to keep you warmed up, so you can enjoy a hot slice?”

“Milo is also a walking microwave,” Seth gives a breathy laugh. “I usually just try to eat quick--like, it takes a second for stuff to get cold if I’m holding it so…” He shrugs, “It’s usually fine if I just go at it. I can’t really taste--feel cold anymore, but food gets all fuckin’ weird when it’s cold and it still sucks. A lot.”

He gets up and pulls a big bottle of soda out of his bag and sets it on the table, watching Jaime pull out plates and serve food. “Got any cups?”

“I’m glad you have him then,” they say. “Cause yeah, that sucks. Not exactly the same but… After my powers, um. Happened… I didn’t touch anyone for like a year. But, hey, good excuse to go on an ice cream diet.”

June 13th, 2019

Jaime and Seth sit side by side on a couch in Jaime’s secret room at the base, an old installment of The Legend of Adlez (or FLoA for short) displaying on the TV ready for coop for their impromptu hangout as soon as they finish getting started on the pizzas ordered to compliment their fearless dungeon run.

Jaime digs in a small cabinet and pulls out two red plastic cups, chucking them in Seth’s direction across the room, and they grab some napkins and plastic silverware too. They tried to keep a lot of stuff in here, just in case. They wish they had something else to bring up in casual conversation except for their terrible past. Or the vast amount of shit they found themselves in now. They crash next to Seth on the couch, kicking their feet up. “And cold pizzas not so bad. Sometimes I like it better that way.”

“Yeah, I get that, I could barely hold a fucking cup without it just spontaneously collapsing-let alone like, a person? Jesus,” he sighs. “Milo would be like trying to hug me mid-panic attack and I’d just be like--ok, time to play ‘try not to kill my best friend I guess’.” He gives Jaime an empathetic look and a gentle bump on the shoulder. “Personally, I fucking hate frozen pizza. It’s ironic.”

Jaime nods solemnly. They understand that feeling completely, even if they weren’t going to crush anything by holding them. It was a different type of pain that they wanted to spare people.

“Seriously?” Jaime laughs, elbowing Seth back. “You are shit out of luck, dude.”

“Never had any to begin with,” he chuckles before shoving three-fourths of a pizza slice into his mouth, and chases it down with half a cup of soda. He eyes the tv and the two player select screen before giving Jaime a sly look. “Oh co-op? What happened to kicking my ass?”

“I can do that later,” Jaime says through a mouthful of pizza. They reach on the table and give Seth a controller. “You’re gonna help me get through this dungeon first. You know how to play?”

“I’ve played maybe once or twice before? Something like a hundred years ago,” Seth carefully takes the controller. “Jog my memory?”

“A is stab, B is shield. Y is magic. X is jump. I think there are combos but I’m not smart enough to figure it out. Fire hurts you, the black pits are deadly and you can’t shield the sparkles.” Jaime eyes Seth holding the controller, so gingerly. “Don’t worry, dude. I’ve got extras….not that I don’t trust you. But, y’know, just in case.”

Jaime smiles at him, reassuringly, and elbows him again, before pressing start. Two small knight avatars swirl into pixelated existence at the start of a black hallway. A small circle of light surrounding the avatars lets them barely see what’s going on. “Gotta find the door that leads to the fireplace so we can light torches,” Jaime says with ease. They’ve done this part like a thousand times.

“I mean- I don’t trust me so, no hard feelings if you don’t,” Seth laughs, though he feels genuinely relieved Jaime has extra controllers. “Pretty experienced dungeoneer huh? Hey- trade me, I wanna be red.” He holds the controller sideways at Jaime while tapping the x button with one finger, making his character repeatedly jump on screen.

Jaime rolls their eyes and they pass over their controller, but they’re smiling. “Sure, whatever.” They settle back into the couch to help guide Seth through. “Yeah, but there are these fucking wizard orcs near the end. The world’s *worst* miniboss.”

They head up the digital hallway, watching Seth trail behind. He’s fucking around, a bit, figuring out the control scheme. “Unless you want to lead, Player One? See if you can beat my deathcount?”

“Thank you,” Seth says with an entitled grin and a laugh, he wiggles the control stick so his new red character does a frantic spin-spasm around Jaime’s. He mashes the magic button to give it a special effect but stops as soon as he realizes it’s definitely eating up an MP bar. With a dozen hops his character takes the lead and progresses a little ahead. “Sure, I’ll show you how it’s done.”

After a couple tiny encounters easily defeated with a few mashes of the A button (and the X button, as Seth fully believes jumping and swinging a sword continuously increases potency), they come across a wall with three shapes in it, barely lit by the small circle of light around them.

“Oh huh,” Seth says, “Do we have to do this to get to the fireplace? Or is this like a secret thing? I don’t remember seeing any weird shapes on the way.”

“Yup,” Jaime says. “They’re around here somewhere. It’s RNG.” They scoot their character to a side wall and start jumping along it. Eventually, a sliding door opens and a room is revealed. Two torches light up a small dias with four treasure chests.

“Took me fucking ages to get that.” Jaime says, but Seth’s already dashing ahead into the room, jumping up the dias. “Careful--” they try to say, but it’s too late. “One of them’s a mimic.”

“Hm?” he says, mid-action as one of the chests opens up...but bares fangs. Seth yelps and looks on as his little knight bursts into red pixels, half hanging out of the chest’s mouth. “Ok- there’s four and we need three, I get it I get it,” he says a little downcast, and then looks a little flustered, “I knew that- it’s coming back to me ok? You have to find a little statue or something to bring me back right? And if you die we have to start over?” He lays back on the couch at an angle so he’s leaning towards Jaime, and watches the TV with a mournful interest.

Jaime sinks back into the couch a bit more so Seth could get closer, or on top of them. If he wanted. A shiver rushes over their skin as his cold hits them, before they remember they can warm themselves up. Their hair lightens just a bit, and their eyes go icy blue as they focus on upping their metabolism, just a little.

“Yup, exactly. It’s in one of these other rooms….” Jaime grabs the three keys from the remaining chests, and heads out of the room. They shoot some magic at a random wall and then jump in front of it, and another hidden panel opens. “Thanks for being mimic fodder.”

Inside this room is a small statue of an angel. Jaime chucks over a few pieces of in-game currency, and Seth’s red knight shimmers back to life on a nearby panel.

“All better.”

Seth flushes a little as Jaime leans back; it feels like an invitation. He shifts a little awkwardly before deciding to get closer, just enough so their shoulders are almost touching but it feels...very close. He picks the controller up again and rolls his eyes. “Anytime. Thanks,” he says and his character sporadically begins to hop as soon as it appears. “I’ll still lead--but uh, I don’t remember where the puzzle was,” he tries not to laugh at his own statement. “Ok, ok, you can be leader for a little while. Are we close to the wizard dude yet?”

Jaime settles a bit behind Seth, leaning their shoulder behind his. They curse the brief awkwardness, internally, and feel a pang of jealousy for Mini’s easy affection for Seth. It just feels like there’s *something* between them now, that’s taking up all the space between them, making Jaime second-guess themself. They are going to let Seth take the lead, even as they remind him that door could be open.

“Yeah, pretty close,” Jaime says, as they guide Seth through the remaining impossible puzzles on this floor. They roll their eyes when they have to backtrack to the shrine for the eighth time. Their party funds are getting unfortunately low. Jaime’s doesn’t begrudge Seth, though; they’re only so good at this because they’ve been struggling past this part for like, two hours. And at least Seth’s deaths are *interesting*.

Eventually, though, they manage to defeat those fucking wizard orcs, and Jaime wraps around Seth from behind for a celebratory hug. “This point on, though, I’m gonna be lost as you dude. So don’t kill us, okay?”

Seth’s ears turn red from the contact and he sinks into the hug with a feeling of guilt. This is much harder than it was the other week, not only because there’s no alcohol buffer to dull his own awareness but also because...his heart’s started doing cartwheels again. He can’t like Jaime. Not right now-not when he’s got to leave and not when he’s got a whole mess of feelings in his heart. Or at least, that’s what he tells himself. He pulls away to leave some space between them, afraid of lingering too close to Jaime too long, even though he wants to. It’s hard to let go. Why is his heart flipping *now*?

“Judging by how only I’ve died the past 8 times, I’m not going to make any promises. This is a lot harder than I remember.” He squints at the TV and then gives Jaime a small smile, hoping his cheeks aren’t as red as he thinks, “But it’s fun. Uh, I’ll follow your lead. Leave the enemies to me, and I’ll leave the stupid puzzles to you.”

“Gotcha,” Jaime says, cursing themselves again as Seth separates. Part of them was impatient, even though they knew it was for good reason. If they were being honest, though they were more eager for the sudden awkwardness between them to fade than anything.

But it does, somewhat, as they make their way through the rest of the dungeon. The orc wizards were only the first miniboss, and several runs past a very annoying poisonous ooze later, they made it to the room before the final boss, a chest full of potions and coins finally looted.

Jaime yawns, stretching. Both pizzas, very well demolished by now, lay cold on the coffee table. “S’getting late, isn’t it?” they mumble, suppressing another yawn. They set their controller down and check their phone, blinking at the time. “Does the bus even go this late?”

“Huh--it can’t be that late,” Seth says after a second, shaking off the hyperfocus on the game, “It’s only been like, what, a couple of hours?” He picks up his phone and his eyes nearly fall out of his head. “Holy shit- I swear to god it was like seven three minutes ago.” There are several worried texts from Milo lined up on his home screen which he winces at. “Uh- yeah, shit? *Do* the buses run this late? Dammit, we’re at the final boss too. I’m not even tired.” Although as soon as he says that, he notices how heavy his eyes feel and suddenly the thought of getting up is excruciating. They’re so close to the end- was it bad to admit he didn’t...want to leave?

“I don’t take the bus too often, so I can’t say for sure.” Jaime sighs and nudges Seth’s shoulder. “But you could, uh, stay over? There’s plenty of room. In mine or a spare.” They look at Seth, hopeful and nervous at once, the tension rising its head again. “Or I’ll just call you a Lyft.”

“Like- a sleepover?” He looks somewhat shocked. A somewhat giddy feeling rises up in his chest. it’s not like he hadn’t done one before, Milo used to sleep over all the time. But this was...Jaime. And right now they could finish this game and stay up a little later- talk, raid the kitchen for more snacks. He’d never been at the base so late. It was a feeling sort of like...a kid’s adventure? There might have been something else there too, but he pushes against that. But he remembers that he can’t. And the feeling sinks as sudden as it comes on.

“Yeah,” Jaime says, suddenly way too excited about the idea. They hadn’t even *thought* about that. “Like a sleepover.”

“I’d- ” he stops not really knowing how to put it in a way that wasn’t...overdramatic and overbearing, though it’s hard to make it not those things, “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to- like, this is...exactly what I want? Just something...to get me out of my head about everything for a while. With you. Staying here would be- fuck it’d be really fun,” he bites his lip. “But I don’t know if I can. You know how bad things could get before, without any control- that’s every time I wake up, but fueled by amnesic panic and shit. It’s a fucking miracle I haven’t ki-hurt anyone yet. And I really don’t want that to change.” He kind of hates how easy it is to say all that to them, especially when it feels like it’s almost all he does. It makes his heart sink too, reaffirming something else he’s lost somehow. And he doesn’t even want to get started thinking about this particular issue in Montreal…

“I’ll just- call a Lyft. But thanks...for the offer,” he offers a tired, bittersweet smile. “Made me kinda happy.”

Jaime’s face falls, a little. They don’t want him to go. Not when everything just felt like it had slotted into place. Easy. Relaxed.

“You wouldn’t hurt me, Seth.” They say it so seriously, trying to get him to trust them. To believe them. Even at his strongest, his most ruthless, or scared. They reach out a hand, in offering. “You know what I was trained to do, and I’ve fought much scarier people. And then I’ve got my own brand of insurance.” They look at Seth, eyes mirroring his. ”I can show you, what it feels like. If it’d help you stay?”

Seth looks at their hand and thinks for a moment, his expression clouded and unsure. He takes a breath and tries to clear his thoughts a little. “It’s...it’s not that I don’t trust you, “ he smiles mournfully, “I don’t trust me. And I know- you can take care of yourself. You don’t have to prove to me you could handle it,” he takes their hand and gives it a gentle squeeze, “But, it’s a lot for me to ask of you, I think.” For some reason he can only think of Rhiannon’s reaction and it gives him a sudden push he doesn’t want. But he made up his mind to try already, not to run away. And maybe...maybe it’s ok.

“I- I’m scared,” he admits quietly, and immediately feels like his chest is collapsing. Showing his vulnerabilities- prying his heart open wasn’t something he was built for. But this was a step. Here was better than facing it in a life or death situation in another world, or at least, that was what he tried to tell himself. Here he was unloading on Jaime again. And yet...there was something there that said it was ok. “That’s all, really. I guess...for once I said it. I’m sorry, I came to get away from everything but it always finds a way. Just how running away works, I guess,” his voice is tender and soft but breaking.

“I think I really want to stay,” he doesn’t dare let go of Jaime’s hand.

“You weren’t asking,” Jaime says, soft. “I was telling you. I can handle your worst. Whatever you’re going to throw at me.”

As soon as Seth admits he’s scared, though, Jaime pulls him into a fierce hug. They clutch him close, rubbing his back, gently. They hope it’s reassuring, comforting in some way. They’ve never been good at this. “I get it,” they say, “Being scared. Running from something...“

Suddenly, they freeze around Seth, stiffening as a thought hits them. “Wait. Fuck. Wait right there. I’ll be right back.”

Jaime gets up and dashes, full tilt out of the room, slamming the door in their wake.

Seth flinches at the door slam and stares at it blankly. After what feels like an eternity, he takes a slow seat back on the couch and puts his face in his hands. “Fuck,” he runs his hands through his hair and tries to do his best not to think about anything. It doesn’t really work, and he watches the door, wondering what the hell he’s doing.

Jaime comes running back, gone maybe ten minutes. They open up the door again, holding a large black case, at least a meter long, in their hands. They set it on the floor and press their thumb into a discrete panel near the handle.

“Sorry,” they pant, tired from running as fast as they could. “Sorry, I just…. had to show you. Would work better than explaining.”

The case clicks, and they lift it open. Inside, pressed into stiff foam, was a variety of spy gear and weaponry, last vestiges of their time at Order X. Two twin daggers that matched their short swords. A slim black pistol and ammunition. Communicators. Flash drives. Lock picks. Something that looks like it *could* be a bomb.

They take out a smaller case from inside and pull out a small black device, with a stretchy band around it. Jaime presses a button and it pops open, and they shove a vial of purple liquid into it and click it shut before offering it to Seth.

“Um,” they start, not really knowing how to explain. “If we were going out of range of Jack, uh. On the team. We’d use these. They kinda work the same as his powers. This one...It’ll make you tired. Like. Exhausted. Like… too tired to hurt someone? Even if you’re scared, and can’t remember?”

They look at him, hopeful, sure, confident—a mix of emotions sprayed across their face. They just hoped maybe it would help. At least a little.

Seth only watches Jaime with a blank expression, gears turning in his head but producing nothing. He looks at the device and some bizarre delayed reaction strikes him and he just starts--laughing. Though he has no idea why; it takes him a good minute, clutching his stomach, to take a deep breath and try and calm himself. “I-I’m sorry,” he cries in between laughs. “I’m sorry.”

He wipes his eyes and manages to sit up, smiling widely at Jaime. It makes no sense, but suddenly everything feels much better. Jaime is sweet and odd- but it feels genuine and unexpected. “I-thanks, Jaime, I think. I’m sorry-I don’t know why that was funny? God-I was so worried you walked out on me or some shit but you-this is, uh, thank you-I think,” he ignores the thing in their hand and wraps his arms around them, pulling them close affectionately, and laughs a little more into their neck.

“No, I… Running out was kinda shitty. Um. I just…” they shrug weakly, not really having an explanation. It seemed like the only option at the time.

“We could try it, tonight, then?” they ask, giving Seth a squeeze. “And if worst comes to worst…” Some things might be better left unsaid. But Seth knew they could take care of themself. “I want you to stay over, either way,” Their mouth brushes against Seth’s hair, and they can’t help themself from giving the top of his head a quick, affectionate kiss, easily brushed off as anything else.

“I wouldn’t say it was shitty but,” Seth can’t bring himself to pull away, feeling oddly warm, “Odd? A...little-a lot weird? Not so much in a bad way- it was cute. I-I mean- not cute um, it’s cute that it mattered that much- I mean not cute-fuck, um,” he laughs nervously, “N-Nice? Nice is the word I’m looking for. I-It feels like it’s-I’m- it was important? I’m going to stop talking now.” He tightens his arms around them, feeling relieved somehow, and stops himself from planting a kiss on their cheek before pulling away- a happy, passing instinct.

Jaime feels like their heart might burst and break, all at once. “You’re cute,” they say, and grin at him, giving him another squeeze. They really, really, want to kiss him so he shuts up, but. They promised they would wait, and they don’t want to make this all *worse*. “And you’re important. You shouldn’t be scared to sleep over at a friend‘s. Or having Milo try to help.”

“Anyways- uh, sorry, that was weird,” Seth says. He catches his breath a little, cheeks flushed. “I only processed half of what you said. This might...help? Uh, what is it?”

They take the device in their hands again, holding it up to the light. They press a button and two little needles pop out, barely more than a pinprick. Jaime takes Seth’s hand, flipping it over and pressing their thumb to his wrist. “Jack, he messes with your endocrine system. Hormones, and shit. Makes you *feel* things. I dunno who or what or how but they managed to distill some of his magic or whatever into this. So it worked without you being in range.”

They give him a half-hearted smile. “Most of the time it was for an adrenaline boost. But, uh. They used this one a lot when I was...training. It makes you feel tired. Like, really tired. Physically. So, maybe it’d like, stop you from feeling able to do something dangerous, while you remember?”

Seth’s expression breaks and he immediately tenses at the needles, trying to suppress the instant panic that sparks. He shoots Jaime a nervous look. “Th-That makes sense yeah,” he swallows dryly, “I’m- guessing there’s no uh...alternative to…y-you know,” he tries to steady his breathing, and focus on Jaime, but his head starts to reel a little. “Not so- good with...that sort of thing.”

“Not without him,” Jaime says, looking soft and concerned at Seth’s sudden change. “Sorry.”

Jaime cups Seth’s cheek, and is quiet for a long while, breathing steadily, loud enough for him to focus on, before they start their own babbling. “Hey. Hey. It’s okay, Seth. It’s okay. You don’t have to. This is *your* choice. Okay? I’m not gonna make you. But, you’re barely gonna feel them if you do. Can just pretend they’re not there. Promise. Okay? Just breathe, Seth. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

They open their arms again for Seth to tuck into if he wants, trying to give him as much choice as possible in this moment.

He follows Jaime’s breathing until the initial panic is distilled, one hand desperately clutching the pendant under his shirt, and nods weakly, “I’m ok-just, can’t really- help it,” he leans against Jaime instead of taking the hug. “I’ll try. If it works- I hope it’s ok if I ask you to help, a couple times,” he winces a little but tries to sound confident. Brave is more the word. “Thanks-I’m also sorry. It’s a great idea,” he tries to give them a small smile, still trying to contain his reaction.

“I get it,” they say, gently, feeling Seth lean against them. “I do. Panic attacks are the worst. And you don’t have to be sorry for freaking out. This is, uh, fucked up shit. A bracelet that can control your emotions?”

Jaime smiles back at Seth, trying to be reassuring. Trying to be a stable place for him, a port in the storm. They gently guide him back to their couch and pull him down to sit next to him.

“Do you want to try now? Just to see how it feels. Then you can decide.”

“Sure- I love sedation techniques,” Seth tries to sound sarcastic but it doesn’t quite get through, and he starts to feel like he’s looking at everything in third person. “If you’re here- I can try. How long does it last?” He takes a breath and passes his free hand to Jaime. His other hand still grips the medallion on his heart- afraid he might not be able to remember this after, but he needs to. This is important.

“These vials give you fifteen, twenty minutes, maybe? But it cycles out pretty quick once the bracelet gets off. Maybe a couple minutes. So you can tap out whenever, Seth.”

Jaime squeezes his hand and slides the bracelet to his wrist, positioning the black square over his veins. All they need to do now is press the button.

“D’you want me to tell you when?”

“No,” he says and closes his eyes, trying to will his hands and shoulders to stop shaking. “Go ahead.”

“Trust me?” Jaime says, softly, as they cup Seth’s cheek again. They hold his hand in their lap, easily accessing his wrist, an idea--a stupid idea--forming in their head. As much as they said they were going to wait for Seth to make a move first...

Seth gives the barest of nods, and Jaime leans in, brushing their lips together for a gentle, sweet kiss. As soon as Seth opens his mouth, they push the button, the tiny needles jabbing in, quick and painless. With any luck, he didn’t even feel it, and if he did? It was tempered by the feeling of their mouth on his.

Seth’s eyes snap open in surprise but flutter closed only a moment later as he melts into it, his head feeling like someone just tipped the world upside down...but in a good way? Jaime’s breath is warm and everything else seems to slip away, and his body relaxes instinctively as he kisses back, forgetting the danger it was so preoccupied with just moments before. He puts one hand on the back of their neck and wishes he could get closer somehow- though they’re already pressed against each other. Eventually he figures out he can breathe through his nose. And eventually he realizes it’s not just his bad breathing technique that’s making him feel like he’s going to collapse from exhaustion- though he puts no effort into being the first to move away, lost in the moment.

Jaime wasn’t really expecting anything, from Seth. And definitely not him reciprocating, or reciprocating like *that*. They put one hand on his back, the other threading through his hair, pulling him down on top of them, when they feel him start to go a bit leaden from the device.

After a long moment, they break away, pressing their foreheads together. “Been wanting to do that all night,” they murmur. “Not, *this* circumstance. But, y’know. Kissing you. I know I said I’d wait but….”

They cup his cheek again, giving him another, soft kiss. “You did it, Seth. Think it might help?”

“Uh, yeah if you...could do that every time I think it’d help,” Seth looks some combination of lovestruck, dazed, and exhausted, and his ears and cheeks are so flushed light trails of steam seem to rise off him. “Oh-you meant the drug, um- ” he catches his breath and tries to move but feels much too sluggish, though...it’s the furthest thing from a bad feeling where he’s at. “Yeah I-I think it’ll work. Sorry I-I...can’t think,” his head is wonderfully hazy, and he leans in to initiate a kiss but chickens out, looking extremely flustered.

“It’s okay,” Jaime murmurs, smiling at him softly. They lean in and give him what he was too afraid to take for himself. They were going to enjoy this while they could, if this moment was only as long as they got. “Can you try and take it off for me? I just need to know you can. If you really focus past it, you can do it.”

“Mmm, um, sure can try,” Seth says though he’s not really sure he can focus on anything but Jaime right this second. This might have been the best moment of his life- ironically while being injected with something. It takes him a few moments before he manages to pull the little device off, and almost instantly feels like a weight’s been pulled off him. He doesn’t wait for the effects to fully wear off before pulling himself up a little and using his newfound freedom to sling his arms around Jaime’s neck, and bravely insists for a little more. Any other thought is out the window.

Jaime smiles up at him, stroking Seth’s hair back and opening their mouth for him. They’re glad he could get some use out of that stupid fucking device. Their hand ran up and down Seth’s back and slip under his t-shirt, stroking his skin, as they kiss.

After only a minute or two Seth pulls away, flustered and a little overwhelmed, and he settles on Jaime’s chest, letting the moment sink in. He feels silly for trying to avoid it before this. Now that it’s happening it feels *so* right. How didn't he see it before? “I think I’m dreaming,” he says after a little while, listening to their steady heartbeat, and breathing them in. “I won the lottery,” his voice is thick and his eyes tear up from a sudden swell of emotion. He takes their hand gently and laces his fingers in theirs. “I hope I don’t wake up.”

Jaime smiles, and kisses Seth’s hair. So many emotions swirl through them, all at once. The biggest one being relief, that they weren’t reading things wrong. That the other night wasn’t just some strange drunken thing. “I’m gonna still be here when you do,” they murmur. “Cause this is real.” They squeeze his hand, gently. “I know it’s, um, a lot to think about, but…. No pressure, okay? I like you, Seth. I like you a lot. But if this isn’t what you want? I’d rather just be friends than not spend time with you at all.”

They lay there, for a long moment, occasionally running their fingers through Seth’s hair, or stroking his back. It’s quiet, peaceful, and their heart is so full it feels like it might burst.

Seth looks up at them with a slightly exaggerated concern, “Can’t tell if you’re already trying to break up with me,” he tries to look upset but there’s a smile plastered on his face, “But I think you might have a hard time getting rid of me.” He pushes himself up and looks into their eyes, “T-Take responsibility,” his lips quiver a little, and he shyly presses a soft kiss to theirs. “I-I don’t think I can just be friends. I-I don’t want us to just be friends.”

“Okay,” Jaime says, kissing him back. Their eyes close, and they brush their nose against his softly. “Then we aren’t.” And it sounds so simple. True. Like it’s just gonna be that easy. And maybe it can be, for once. They stroke his cheek, looking down at him in gentle adoration.

They remember that previous conversation, the last time Seth laid on top of their chest, the things he said he wanted to do. How sweet. How romantic. “I’ll take you out? When you get back?”

Seth sinks back into their chest, practically melting and doing his best to process everything. He gives an airy laugh- he gets to get taken on a date? *What a thought.* But blinks after a second, suddenly realizing that the rest of the world exists, and nearly explodes as his head suddenly decides to start working again. “Wait-fuck, holy shit-fuck,” he sits up dramatically and nearly falls off the couch in the process. “I have to leave- for Montreal, like, any day now,” he says as though this is the first time he’s realized it. “How am I supposed to go after-after this,” his voice wobbles a little from how flustered he is, and after a second he slumps back into the couch by them. The thought of leaving Jaime right now is so ridiculous, he thinks he might die actual doing it.

“Sorry, that’s a rhetorical question I think,” he sighs spirits falling, remembering, well, everything, “On a similar subject...I-I know I just said-uh, all that, but aren’t...aren’t you- taken? Like, twice over? What happened to ‘I still have to ask Mini so I can’t kiss you even if you’re drunk’?” He does his best impression of them, but mostly feels like dying. How the hell did all of that literally just leave his mind? Why *did* Jaime kiss him? Not that he was complaining- and not like they just said they *liked* him- but suddenly all of those minute complications that stopped them before are popping up in his head like daisies.

Jaime leans in, and grabs his hand. “I asked, already. Both of them. Like right after that night,” they admit, flustered by their own eagerness. ”So, I--we--got permission. I just didn’t want to say anything, until you said something. Maybe that was stupid. But I didn’t….I know that goes against what I did, I just…” They squeeze Seth’s hand, reflexively. “I didn’t want the needles to be a bad experience for you. And I couldn’t think of a better way to make it good.”

They turn to Seth, and nudge him, until he’s looking them in the eye. “And you’re going to go for Rhiannon. And Halcyon. And Zodiac. You’re gonna find a way to make it work, for all of us. And you’re gonna kick some fishy ass. I believe in you. Okay?”

As if it was possible, Seth looks even more flustered. He hears Montreal but it goes sailing right past his head as he takes in their other words. “Oh…” he gets a little quiet. “Y-You were...waiting for me? That’s...holy shit,” his heart does a few massive flips, so much so that he feels like it might burst.

“I-I didn’t know you felt so...um- wow.” He squeezes Jaime’s hand back, although it’s shaking a little, “I’m sorry I’m slow? I-I don’t think- I never thought-you know? Um, anyone could-would feel like...that. For me? I-It’s not stupid it’s- um, good. Really, really fucking- wonderful?” He looks absolutely lovestruck and rambles a few more nervous words- mostly to try and express, somehow, how utterly happy the thought made him.

Jaime laughs. “Didn’t I tell you, that night? That I liked you? But dating me is a lot, cause there’s other people, and I know that’s not for everyone, and you didn’t know if you wanted it. So... I wasn’t gonna push.”

They lean in, and kiss Seth’s forehead. His eyelids. His nose. The corners of his mouth. Showering him in the affection it’s so clear he desires, and never thought he’d get. They knew *exactly* how hard and lonely that felt. Jaime was looking forward to proving him wrong.

“But I’ve liked you for *ages*, Seth. You knew some of the worst things I’ve done and...Just treated me like I was fucking normal, anyway. And I needed that. So fucking badly.”

Seth practically melts into their affection, and wraps his arms around them, pulling them close. “Alright, alright, you’re going to kill me,” he says with a breathy laugh, sinking into them, heart full to bursting. “Or make me start crying--which is the same,” tears have already formed in the corners of his eyes, like his body doesn’t know what else to do with this sudden outpouring of happiness. He nuzzles the side of their head and doesn’t let go.

“I’m glad it helped? I think I jump to conclusions easily, but- can be easily proven wrong. But you-all I saw was someone doing their best to make things right. That’s what really matters, I think, even if you struggle a little, it’s really fucking awesome,” he gently kisses their cheek, and takes a moment to marvel at how wonderful it is to be able to do so. “To be honest I still haven’t figured that part out- like, the whole poly thing, but-I, I always learned better trying anyways. Though, I also didn’t want to treat you like...an experiment? I know how it feels- sorta been one,” he laughs, “But uh-it’s ok. I think. If you don’t mind figuring it out...together,” he smiles, although he has been this whole time. “I think it’ll be just fine.”

Jaime just smiles back. They’re not sure they’ve ever seen Seth so open and affectionate with *anyone*. And to be part of that? It made their heart want to burst.

“Well, thanks, anyway. Cause it did. A lot. It’s made it easier to be honest with myself.”

They nose at him again and give him a squeeze.

“No. I don’t mind. I think we kinda all are. But it’s okay. There’s no pressure to, um, be with either of them. And I’m glad we’re all friends? So at least it’s not too awkward.” Jaime has to stifle a sudden yawn, and remembers, again, how late it must be.

“D’you mind moving to my bedroom? It’s a lot comfier than the couch, and I’m kinda sleepy.”

Seth looks a little surprised but smiles sheepishly, “Oh-um, sure,” he lights up a little. It’s only one of those things he’s always wanted. Someone to fall asleep next to. And besides mostly always believing he’d die alone, it was something that he thought he’d lost forever after HELIX. But now...maybe not. The thought makes his heart flutter.

He looks at the little black device that’s been flipping around on the couch this whole time. “We can tell this thing to uh, hit me whenever I wake up right? I’d really hate to um, accidentally crush the only person on this earth who’s ever liked me, right after getting together,” he turns a little redder at affirming it, and the thought of being able to wake up next to Jaime and eat breakfast with them- spend a whole other day here with them, like the rest of the world didn’t matter for a tiny bit was...like a dream that was possibly coming true right now.

“Yeah. Here.” Jaime takes Seth’s wrist and slips the device over it. They tap a few places on the face before swirling their finger around. They lift his hand to their lips and kiss the inside of his wrist, before standing up. They get a small container, filled with the same purple vials, before showing Seth how to work the whole device.

“And I’m not the only person who’s ever liked you, Seth. I refuse to believe that. Maybe the first one who’s told you...but not the only one.” They tangle their fingers together and lead him out, up to the elevator.

Seth goes silent as Jaime kisses his wrist, steam coming off his head like a proper cartoon. It takes a second for his head to start working again and he hopelessly follows after Jaime. “Uh huh, sure,” he smiles, gently bumping them, “I had a pretty rough rep in my hometown. No harems for me,” he gently teases. The base is quiet and empty in the late hour, like they’re the only ones here. It really does feel like a dream. He wraps his arms around their waist and nuzzles their back as soon as they arrive at their room, excitedly waiting for them to open the door and reveling in his newfound ability to just...be like this with them.

“Did you just want to fight everyone?” Jaime teases back, as they open the door to their room. It’s much different than their little cave, clean and neat and airy. Nearly everything is white or light wood, with a handful of green plants decorating the corners. If Jaime didn’t refer to it as theirs, though, it’d be hard to tell that someone lived here, and it wasn’t just some minimalist blogger’s photo set. Jaime winks at Seth before pulling their shirt off, and heading to their closet.

“You want some pajamas?” they ask, tossing a handful of things over at him anyway. They tend to have a couple different sizes of things, just in case, so they have sweats that he won’t drown in. But if they only give Seth some of *their* t-shirts, who’s gonna blame them?

Seth’s been in here before, at least he thinks, but somehow it feels like the first he’s really seen the room. It’s a surprisingly light and breathable space, although it looks like Jaime’s never here, but somehow...it’s cute in comparison to his expectations. Like what he’d expect of a girl’s room. He goes to say something but nearly chokes on his own breath as Jaime suddenly undresses. He turns several shades redder and looks away instinctively, even though it’s just the shirt, but his eyes wander back after a second. His eyes dart away as soon as they turn back around, and the pants land on his face before his reflexes kick in and he catches the shirt.

He looks at the clothes and then at the room. He feels unbearably shy- especially after that display. His hands shake a little from how flustered he is, though it’s a good feeling. He doesn’t say anything but hopes Jaime isn’t watching as he quickly pulls off his own shirt and puts on their’s.

He isn’t expecting it to be quite so...big. He’s not particularly smaller than Jaime just...shorter- at least, he thought, and yet the shirt absolutely drowns him, draping well past his hips. He pushes up the sleeves, embarrassed, and breathes in to find the clothes are full of Jaime’s smell. His head takes a minute break to return to functioning, and when it does he notices that his own feelings have overwritten his steady cold with heat. He can’t quite form words- standing by the bed like a perfectly flustered statue, still holding sweats.

Jaime comes out of their own closet in a pair of pajama pants that taper at the ankles an old t-shirt with the sleeves and most of the sides cut off. More pajamas than they typically would wear, but they want to try and make sure Seth is comfortable. They can’t help but smile, even as they try to hide it, when they see Seth standing there, swimming in their shirt, and looking half about to bolt.

“Bathroom’s down the hall, if you wanted to change. Or brush your teeth or whatever. Or your can take the closet. But I wouldn’t mind watching.”

They hop onto their bed with a fluid motion, crossing their legs and leaning back. “That shirt suits you,” they grin, not able to handle just how adorably awkward Seth looks. They can’t help teasing him, even just a little.

Seth practically dies, but somehow manages to shuffle over to the door. He looks at Jaime as though to say something but he doesn’t really know...what, and he internally cries at being unable to hide how he’s feeling, and it shows on his face like a mixture of embarrassment and joy. He closes the door gently behind him, and returns a few minutes later wearing Jaime’s sweats as well, looking at least a little more composed, backpack in hand.

He sets it down by the bed and lingers for a second before taking a seat next to them, and immediately looks just as flustered again. “D-Did you give me your biggest shirt or what? I mean it’s comfortable but,” he pauses, eyeing the space between them, though he’s already too flustered to dare move closer, “Um, a-anyways uh...sleep? I-I guess?”

“I could get you something smaller,” they say, leaning in to kiss his nose. “But I like this one. It’s cute.” Jaime wriggles a bit, pulling out the comforter from underneath them and ducking under the covers. “That’s the plan.”

They open their arms for Seth, inviting him to tuck against them. They can see the hesitation in his eyes, and want to be as comfortable as possible for him. If they’re going to be dating…. Well, isn’t it only fair? “C’mon, Mini never lets me be the big spoon.”

Seth moves in at the invitation, a little shy at first, but snuggles into them as soon as the distance is closed. “I kind of wanted to be the uh-big spoon,” he says timidly, “But I guess I can make an exception this time.”

He pulls the covers up but holds onto Jaime’s arm before they can turn over. “Um, you’re not going to freeze to death while we sleep right? J-Just you know, making sure,” he moves his hand down their arm to find their hand and takes it. “Also uh, the device thing,” he flushes a little for some reason, “It’s going to be ok right?”

Jaime rolls their eyes. “I get *three* partners and none of them want to be the little spoon?” But they’re smiling. They kiss Seth’s hair, soft and affectionate. “Just my luck.”

“No, m’not,” Jaime murmurs, settling into bed. Their eyes close, and they pull Seth closer to them. “It’ll trigger when you wake up. And I’ll take care of you if it doesn’t. Promise.” Jaime squeezes Seth’s hand and their eyes flutter open. They smile, and lean in for a gentle goodnight kiss.

Seth kisses them back, heat rising in his cheeks, and happiness settling into the bottom of his heart. He curls up with them and wonders how he’d ever slept alone before this. He doesn’t let go of their hand, letting his rest there with theirs.

“Hey, Jaime?” he whispers to the darkness, “I’m really...happy right now. I didn’t say it back yet, but I...I love-I like you too,” he swallows, “Sorry. English is weird. But yeah. And thanks…” For some reason there’s a little tinge of fear in the back of his throat, like he’s forgetting something important. But in the comfort it’s gone as soon as he notices, swallowed by the warmth wrapped around him.

“I kinda figured,” Jaime says, tucking Seth under their chin. “But I like hearing you say that. And you’re welcome.”

They close their eyes again, letting Seth’s soft breathing lull them to sleep.

Seth’s body is heavy as he wakes up. There’s an immediate blankness as his eyes flutter open, his head foggy but hyper-alert at the same time. The place he’s in isn’t the white, empty room he expects to find after finally undergoing anesthesia on the table- it’s a clean room, but not empty, and he’s in a bed with comfortable covers, tangled with someone else. His first instinct after taking it in is filled with spikes of panic- but he finds that moving is difficult, and the other person is his age maybe… Someone else like him, here? His eyes dart around to find an exit- in case he needs one, and his heartbeat pounds in his ears at the difficulty of moving. He tries to get some distance between himself and this person though it’s quite difficult, and he only looks at them, unable to quite find his voice.

Jaime blinks a little, unconsciously pulling Seth closer towards them as he tries wriggling away. They wrinkle their nose and murmur softly, angling for a kiss. “S’not morning yet, babe. Come back.”

Seth lets out a short yelp as they pull him back, erasing the small progress he’d made to get away from them. They look oddly familiar though, the more he looks at them-and...did they just call him *babe*? He tries to scooch away but his limbs feel like they’re made out of lead. “Jaime,” the name comes out of nowhere, and he blinks at it. And then it all comes back, sort of slow and then all at once, and he groans as his head starts to pound.

Though it still doesn’t quite explain why Jaime’s cuddled up with him- though Milo did used to say he was clingy in his sleep. He manages to wiggle his arm up to spot the device on his wrist and squints at it, but can’t quite remember anything past it’s existence. “Hey-um. Morning,” he says after a moment, mouth dry. “Can you take this off- I think it worked.”

They shift up, resting on their elbow to look at him. They smile fondly at Seth and take his hand, slipping it off for him and rubbing their thumb over the tiny prick marks. Jaime spins the band on their finger. “Could have done that yourself, if you wanted.”

Something feels off, though, and they can’t help frowning at him, their eyebrows knit together in concern. “You alright, Seth?”

Seth takes a breath of relief as the effect begins to fade. He moves out of Jaime’s space, awkwardly letting go of their hand, and sits up to stretch. He feels hazy, more hazy than usual- and it’s a little obvious. Something that won’t come back is how he ended up actually staying the night, or so it seems. Just...odd fragments.

He frowns, and looks at Jaime, wondering how much he should say. As much as he hated it, in the end it was always something that hurt other people more than himself. But...this was Jaime and, they would probably accept his honesty. Besides, it was already late when the band got brought up, he probably didn’t miss all that much.

“Uh, sort of,” he says, a little quiet. He looks at Jaime with a grim expression, “I’m- um. This is going to sound really shitty,” he sighs. “I can’t remember anything after you pulled that thing out.” He gestures at the band, and then instinctively looks around before realizing that...of course he hadn’t written something down in his journal if he was here. But maybe he wrote something on his phone? “I mean- not nothing. There are-um, feelings? We were talking? Or something? I must have said something stupid,” he shifts a little, getting hints of embarrassment from whatever they must have talked about. “Hopefully didn’t miss too much? I’m-I’m really sorry,” he tries to make it as light sounding as possible, and rubs the back of his neck out of habit.

Jaime can’t quite keep their face from falling, heart dropping to live somewhere in the vicinity of their knees. Course, that would have been too easy. They run their hands through their hair and roll over, turning their back to him.

“Just… Okay. I just need a minute. Alright?”

They close their eyes again and take a few deep breaths, trying to work up the courage—or whatever it is they need—to figure out what to do, what to say. It was like a giant reset button had been pressed and it’s left them lost, though not nearly as lost as Seth.

Eventually they sit up, turning to face him again. “I know it’s not your fault. And I’m, um. Sorry. If this is weird?” They try to cage around it, not knowing what’s better or worse for Seth.

“You kinda missed a lot,” they say, and their voice is a little small. “Nothing...crazy, I don’t think. But it was important to me--us.” They look at him, and reach out to the empty space between them with one hand.

“I could tell you? I know it’s not the same as you remembering but… I really don’t want to go back if I don’t have to.”

Seth’s heart plummets as he watches Jaime’s reaction. Of course he missed something important. It always was when he forgot-when it matters. Anger wells up in his chest and he dams it up, but his expression goes flat. He looks seriously at Jaime and exhales, “Please- do. I’m-I’m really fucking sorry. I should have known better,” his hands clench, “If it was important then I-I need to know.”

Jaime looks at him, eyes flicking to the space between them. Their mouth opens, like they intend to speak, but the words get caught in their throat. “It was,” they manage to get out, eyes flicking to Seth’s mouth, then meeting his own.

Their mind whirls through the ways they could do this, wondering which way is best. Analyzing the situation, looking for the best outcome…. A thought stops them, the same thought as last night. It worked well enough the last time. With a start, they close the distance between them, cupping Seth’s cheek and kissing him again.

Seth straightens in shock and then...falls into the kiss. Fragments of something that feels like a far away dream come back to him- a similar feeling filling him up, warming him from his head to his the tips of his toes. He returns it, instantly lost in bliss...though this time he doesn’t quite figure out he can also breathe. He pulls away after a long moment, breathless and flushed, his heart plain to see.

“That happened,” Jaime says, stroking Seth’s cheek. “I was trying to distract you, from the needles. It worked.” Jaime looks pleased with themself. “But I meant it. I said I liked you. Cause I do. And you said you wanted to be more than friends. And I said I was going to wait for you to make a move, but I couldn’t…” They trail off, waiting for Seth to process and respond.

“I-uh, wow-” he breathes, “H-holy shit.” It takes him a hot second to start comprehending words again, but when he does he deflates a little and puts his head in his hands, making the red tips of his ears oddly noticeable. He rubs the sides of his nose and then runs his hands through his hair, not really knowing where to even begin to start, and when he thinks of something...he can only think that Jaime’s definitely heard it before. But the words “I like you” and “couldn’t wait” start to bounce on the walls of his head like the beats of his heart until they start to make some kind of sense. Jaime had...not only confessed to him last night, but was ask willing to do it again just now after he’d *forgotten*. He moves his hands back to his face-if only to somehow contain his reaction as for some reason, the only response he has to the sudden, overwhelming realization is to start to...cry, an outpouring happiness and confusion as though his body could contain no more.

“Oh,” Jaime says softly, watching what has to be a thousand emotions work their way across Seth’s face. They can’t imagine what he must be feeling. It felt like the most simple thing, but everything had changed with the admission. And then the readmission. “Oh, Seth.” They wrap their arms around him, and rock gently. “It’s alright. Is… is, uh. That what you’d wanted?”

“I don’t know what I wanted,” Seth clings to them, “But right now I think I’d be an idiot to turn you down.” He cries into their shoulder, not really knowing why. Everything feels like a lot-it’s mostly good, he thinks, but also sad...somehow. Overwhelming to think someone- that Jaime was willing enough- likes him enough to do it again. “What the hell did I do to make you like me so much?” he cries, letting tears bleed into their shirt, “Is this really ok? I could forget again, and again, and again-”

Jaime huffs, rubbing Seth’s back. “Honestly, some amnesia might be the easiest thing we have to deal with.” They kiss his hair, soft. “I don’t mind reminding you, just how I feel. How much I care about you. Because you were the first person to just...treat me like I was normal. Cause I think you’re really, really cute. Cause I like seeing you smile and hearing you sing. And you’re stupid stubborn sometimes, and so fucking brave.” They give him a squeeze. “Do I need to go on?”

They gently pull him out of their arms and cup his face in their hands. “But I need to know that’s what *you* want, Seth. Right now. Because you like me back. Because you want this. Not cause you think *you* owe it to me.”

Seth stifles a sob and laughs, tears pooling in his eyes, “I can’t believe- this whole time you’ve been right here and I-” he laughs again, and looks into their eyes overcome with emotion, “I’m sorry Jaime. I was-I was trying to avoid it- I’m not brave. B-But I- I like you, I want you, I think-I love you.”

He kisses them, passionately, teary and elated, pressing them close to him, feeling more happy and- despite everything- more brave than any other point in his whole life.

Jaime kisses him back. *Love?* Seth can’t be serious. He can’t mean that. So quickly? But the thoughts are chased away by Seth eagerly licking into their mouth and pressing against them. It’s so easy to reciprocate, to give back to him, to gently lie him back and nose at his neck.

After a bit of making out, they pull away. They smile from above him, and kiss the corner of his mouth. “Okay. I promised I’d take you out when you get back, and I still want to do that. But in the meantime, can I make you breakfast?”

“Mmm, you can do anything you want,” he murmurs reaching for their hand, and laughs, embarrassed. He wipes his nose and rubs his eyes, looking half dazed and feeling extremely jealous of Seth from last night- assuming it was all like...that. The thought is also a little funny- he wonders how many people get two first kisses. And then two first...make outs? Was that a make out? “Though I-I’d like it if we could hang out a little more. L-like- this?” he shifts, flustered. “I’m still trying to, um-process? Everything.” Though he says that, it’s also almost impossible to think at all with Jaime so close.

He’s hungry when he thinks about it-but also going out in public like this would probably kill him immediately from embarrassment. He feels like he’s a thousand feet in the air and he’s pretty sure he looks like he is, too. The image of Jaime cooking for him is also wonderful- and he can’t decide what he wants. Besides them- in general. Which also sparks a somewhat late realization which makes him turn beet red.

“Wait-um, I-I said I-” he nearly can’t say the word now, “L-Love you? D-Didn’t I?” He puts his hands up if only to hide how flustered he must look, “I-I didn’t mean that- I mean, I did- but not like, l-love love, but it feels more than-like? But less than love...love. There’s not really a word for that so I-uh, I-I don’t know, I-” he cries internally. “Like is like--I like...pancakes. But you know, y-you’re more than...pancakes. I…...I don’t-I’m not that crazy-I’m...going to shut up.” He’s surprised he hasn’t somehow found a way to actually melt into a puddle yet. Or kill Jaime with sheer awkwardness alone.

“Y-You know actually breakfast sounds good,” he moves to the edge of the bed and stands up and then realizes he’s wearing Jaime’s clothes...and has to sit back down. He covers half his face with one hand, and hopes Jaime can’t hear the sound he’s making inside his head.

Jaime watches Seth, unable to stop the smile spreading across their face. It’s endearing hearing him stutter and flail over his words…. The thought of being able to reduce someone to blabbing is so, incredibly attractive. Seth is so different from both Mini’s brashness and Elle’s steadying presence. Both of them had their own confidence, their own surety. This--Seth--feels like something new and wonderful, and they don’t feel out of their depth, even though Seth might be. That’s alright, they can guide him.

“Whatever you want, babe,” they say, laughing. They crawl over the bed and wrap around Seth from behind, nuzzling him. “I like-like and not-quite love you too, by the way,” they murmur, right in his ear. “Way more than pancakes.”

Jaime turns Seth to face them, gently pulling his hand away from his face and leaning in for a soft kiss. They grin at Seth and bite their lip.

“I don’t mind making out with you some more before breakfast. Or skipping breakfast entirely.”

Seth blushes and wholly gives into their affection, though he’s so embarrassed he could die. Their smile is so cute, it feels like an arrow’s shot through his heart when he thinks- did he do that? Though he has *no* idea how. He silently accepts their teasing-was it teasing? He watches them bite their lip and feels a bit of heat. “I-I um,” he wraps his arms around them, a bit shy, and feels the daze of being close to them, pausing a little longer than intended, “I could use more p-practice? I-I can’t let anyone see me like this,” he flushes, “But I’d- also love to cook with you...um-it’s really up to you.”

Jaime smiles at him, and leans in to kiss him softly. “I’m a pretty good teacher,” they murmur, looking at Seth darkly. “So I don’t mind extra practice.”

They move closer to Seth, already so close in his space, and lick into his mouth again. One hand slides down his stomach to pull at the band of his sweatpants, no pressure just intention. Desire. The other tangles into his hair and pulls him closer, as they bite at Seth’s lower lip.

They pull away, briefly, catching their breath as they toy with the hem of the shirt. “What do you mean? It looks good on you,” and they wink, grinning at him, just to see Seth flush.

Seth’s breath catches in his throat and his body tenses up at the unexpected contact. He shivers-and looks at Jaime wide-eyed, intense blush creeping across his face, thought process seemingly lost somewhere out in space. His tongue seems to stick to a syllable but he manages a, “D-Don’t bully me,” barely above a whisper as he buries himself into their neck, and he starts to steam a little, realizing he’s hopelessly and completely wrapped around their finger. In a good way?

Jaime gently lowers Seth down so he’s lying on Jaime’s bed. They brace themselves so they’re straddling him, arms to either side and elbows locked, their shaggy hair almost brushing Seth’s nose. Their face softens, concerned. “I’m not trying to pressure you, Seth,” they say. “Really. I just like seeing you flush. It’s cute. And I want you. But I want you to be comfortable more.”

They stroke his hair off his forehead and give him a gentle smile. “So we can go as fast as you want.”

Seth instinctively puts his hands on Jaime’s lower back, and tries to look them in the eyes, though he’s so- embarrassed? Overwhelmed? Happy? Dazed? He tries to breathe. “U-Uh, s-slower is good,” he admits, though it’s also kind of difficult. “I-I wasn’t lying when I said no one’s *ever*,” he shifts a little nervously, “Liked me back- So this is all...Y-You’re my first...anything,” he flushes.

Jaime rolls to the side, and lies down next to Seth, facing him. They rubbed his side, gently. “Okay. Then we slow down.”

They’re quiet for a long moment, just relishing in being close to him. “Y’know, it’s not like I have a ton more experience than you. Mini was the first person I made out with in like...two years, and we only started dating like, a month ago? The couple times before ended with me, uh. Losing control. I just...It’s easier for me when I don’t have to worry so much about that, if I get distracted.”

Seth wraps an arm around them and pulls them onto his chest and rests his head on theirs, though he isn’t sure how comfortable it is with his heart beating at 100 mph. “Well I-um, hope I don’t distract you too much,” he laughs a little, “I think I’m just- um, nervous? A-And a hopeless romantic? Regardless of experience.” He kisses the side of their forehead a little timidly, and feels warm, and a little more than grateful Jaime was so...kindly considerate. Besides being bold as hell. It made him feel like...this was really real. “I also-uh...I don’t mind being teased so much. I-I think. It’s a weird feeling. I-I’ll tell you, you know? If it’s too much. But yeah.”

They lean in to kiss Seth’s forehead. “Let’s go get breakfast then, okay? I’ll make you pancakes. D’you like chocolate chips or bananas?”

“U-Um sure-anything is fine,” he blushes at the prospect of something so...domestic. “I can help- is the kitchen usually...filled with people? I-I think if I go out there like this, people will think it’s the end of the world when they see me smiling.” Despite agreeing to go, he makes no motion to move.

“Half the people who live here are robots, Gwen blows up the kitchen every time she walks near it, and I don’t think Patch ever leaves the engineering bay. You’re pretty safe, if you want to help and don’t want anyone else to see how cute you are when you’re happy.”

Jaime tucks into Seth’s arms, enjoying being held by him. The feeling of newness. Potential. They want to keep this as long as they can, stretch out Seth’s last day forever. Their first day *together*.

“And good, cause I want chocolate chip.”

“Don’t call me cute,” he pouts, but smiles, rubbing their shoulder affectionately. “Chocolate sounds good. If anyone comes in though, I’m gonna bail,” he does his best to look serious.

“Do you like handsome better? Pretty? Hot? Adorable? Gorgeous?” They punctuate each word with a kiss. “Cause they’re true.”

They give him a squeeze. “I’ll scare ‘em off. Don’t worry.”

Seth turns more red with every word and kiss until he can’t offer a protest. He looks at them lovingly, though flustered and gives a nod against their head. “Fine you win, maybe I can get up if I really try.”

Jaime makes that decision for him, breaking out of Seth’s embrace and pulling him up. “C’mon, then, gorgeous. Let’s get you fed.”