Laflik the Foul

* Biography
* Threat Assessment
* Trivia and Notes
* Gallery

The Foul, the Second, the Lesser, the Best-Forgotten, the Crass, the Beardless, the One-Eyed, the Short (Honors)
King of Caravans, King of the Under-Roads (Nicknames)

### Status

True Identity Believed to be Fictional by Most Persons

### Relatives

King Bronlik Brandas (Father, Deceased)
Ebbagan Satolva (Mother, Deceased)
King Laflik Brandas (Twin Brother, Deceased)
King Yflik Shelavene (Son, Deceased)
Snow White, Doblik the Wise, Resnik the Cruel, Meglik the Meek, Fawik the Rested, and Soplik the Odd (Sworn Comrades)

### Affiliation

Dannyzens (Member)
Sentinels of Zauberwald (Member)

## Biographical Information

### Residence

77 Danny Village
Danny the Street

## Physical Description

### Laflik the Foul

Let me have Laflik himself tell his story. This is a transcript of a conversation I had with Laflik at Brewed Awakening:

*"So I was born cursed. You see, twins are very rare among dwarves. We usually don't have them. And for a dwarf king to have twin sons was a real* [expletive]*ing mess. So to clear up lines of succession, it was decided that when the two boys — both named Laflik, mind you — were named, the elders on the council gave one child all the favorable legend and then basically* [expletive] *on me, basically saying that I was destined to have all the majesty and fortune as uzen* [expletive]. *Oh, an uzen is this tunnel critter. Common vermin in the under-cities. So yeah, not cool.*

*"I was called 'Laflik the Foul' and while my brother was taken in by the royal clan, my mother was basically banished from the castle and sent back home with a child that the crown considered worth* [expletive]. *This is the woman who gave birth to the future king but because she gave the king two heirs, she was a* [expletive]*ing pariah. After a while of trying to tolerate this, she gave up on it and life altogether. I never forgave those* [expletive]*ers for what they did to her and they were gonna know it.*

*"So Clan Satolva have some connections. We were* [expletive]*ing rich is what I'm saying. Barely a hair on my chin and I bought myself a caravan. The first few years were rough as I more or less learned as I went. Taught myself how to explore the under-roads. Hauled ore, precious gems, wares, livestock, and whatever else between the under-cities and surface towns. Made a lot of* [expletive]*ing coin doing it, too.*

*"When the royal clan needed a loan, my father thought he could ask me. Guess what I told him?* '[expletive] *you.' Yeah, that's right. He cursed my name in court. He told all them fancy lords not to do business with me, but when I bought out all the other* [expletive]*ing caravans and trade offices around the under-city capital, they could not ignore me.*

*"Next thing I know, I was being cozied up to. The high society decided it was in their best interest to make me one of them. They showered me with gifts and offered me all manner of honors. I repaid their efforts by shaving my beard and showing up to one of their* [expletive]*ing fancy balls with a sleazy wench from the tunnel tribes on my arm. Ha ha ha! Oh, you should have seen their faces. Pretty sure that's what killed my father. Serves the* [expletive]*er right, huh? And then at the funeral, you know what I did? I brought the same sexy dwurga again and this time she had a baby in her belly. A royal baby.*

*"I'm nothing special. I'm as infertile as most young dwurgs, but when you do as much* [expletive]*ing as we did- oh ho ho, you're bound to get lucky, you know what I mean? Well, that's what we did. And because I had a kid before my brother, the heir-hungry council insisted that my boy be named heir-apparent. Those* [expletive]*ing bastards wanted my bastard on the throne. Forced to deal with me, my brother caved to the pressure and drank with me. He offered to name my son his heir until he could have a child of his own, but he asked that I abdicate, take my wife to the surface, and disappear. He even promised us a cozy Sentinelship.*

*"I had one condition. The crown had to release a public declaration, giving my mother proper honors as 'True Queen Mother'. He hated it, but he did it alright. And yes, my son sat on the throne... Before those* [expletive]*ing Sheeda came and... Y'know, I need to get back to work."*

### Supplemental Reports

* (*Submitted by Herald*) Laflik tried to break Snow White's curse himself, but failed to do so. Most likely on account that he wasn't a prince as he had abdicated by that point. Interestingly, though, more recently he was able to wake Briar Rose up from one of her legendary naps. This might indicate that his abdiction is null and void now that the under-cities have fallen to the Sheeda.
* (*Submitted by Herald*) Laflik has a remarkable head for business, thanks to his aptitudes, though something tells me he doesn't apply most of them anymore. Though, one he does use from time to time is the power of 'Stiff Drink Cures All'. While it's nothing genuinely magical, he's not curing cancer with an espresso, but the coffee at Brewed Awakening are so good, they do cheer you up.

## Threat Assessment

### Resources

* Fabled Dwarf Physiology
	+ *Connection to the Melt*
	+ *Enhanced Resilience & Strength*
	+ *Exceptional Low-Light Vision*
	+ *Immortality & Resurrection*
	+ *Magic Resistance*
* Dwarven Upbringing
	+ *Expert Brawler, Mechanic, Miner, & Warrior*
* Arcane Aptitudes
	+ *"I Know The Way"*
	+ *"Royal Blood"*
	+ *"Stiff Drink Cures All"*
	+ *"Trust Me"*

### Weaknesses

* Drinking Problem
* Trouble with Authority
* Vice — Pride

### Analytics

* **Physicality:** 4 — Expert / Enhanced
* **Occult:** 2 — Basic / Typical
* **Weaponry:** 4 — Expert / Enhanced
* **Expertise:** 5 — Master / Remarkable
* **Range:** 5 — Master / Remarkable
* **Strategy:** 4 — Expert / Enhanced
	+ **TOTAL:** 62
	+ **RANKING:** Moderate Threat

## Trivia and Notes

### Trivia

* He lost his left eye during a fight while trying to defend Tequee from some business rivals.

### Notes

* The Seven Dwarves are characters from *Fables*.
* The first two letters of each of the seven dwarves' names make up Do, Re, Me, Fa, So, La, Te: the Major Scale, commonly used in music. A 1912 play named them Blick, Flick, Glick, Plick, Snick, Whick, and Quee, which makes up the second part of their names.

## Network Files

Network Files Laflik the Foul.pngNetwork Files: Laflik the Foul

## Links and References

* Appearances of Laflik the Foul

1. ↑ Network Files: Laflik the Foul
2. ↑ Network Files: Tequee the Giddy