Belief Relief

"**Belief Relief**" (French: "Crise de Foi") is the seventh episode of season one of *The Crumpets*.

## Synopsis

Pa's lunar leeks are dying. Most of his family scramble for a solution through spiritual needs, but his wife Ma thinks pulling the moon should do. Pa's brother Uncle Hurry as well as his wife Aunt Harried pay a visit to the Crumpet house to convert the family to Paymeism.

## Plot

Under a starry night, Ma aims for the moon and shoots a string-attached magnet to bring down a jet plane instead. She releases the plane and takes a break from her mission, then the plane drops to the ground again.

As Ma studies for her next attempt to capture the moon, Ditzy answers the doorbell and finds a group of door-to-door preachers. Ma shuts the door and Ditzy asks her who they are. Ma explains that they can spread all kinds of beliefs or even nothing. Ditzy responds that the nonbelievers do believe on something even if they technically have nothing. Ma suggests her to think somewhere else while, to which she complies and resumes her belief analyses.

In the greenhouse, Pa is concerned with the condition of his lunar leeks. Ma cheers him as she hopes to use her moon catcher again. Lil One shouts at Pa to not worry his "stinky plants". Ma tells him that he may hurt his father's feelings and that the death of leeks is "sad". A curious King wonders what happens to leeks when they die, and Ditzy replies that it depends on a belief system, such as one which includes the concept reincarnation to "other stuff". Pa thinks his leeks can be adherents of that belief system but worries that sometimes it can take ages before they get reincarnated. Ma tries to close the argument by sharing her belief that there is no afterlife. Caprice makes mention of heaven and hell but ends up getting confused. Lil One agrees with his mother that death is final. Then Pfff and Triceps show up and voice the importance of love and teamwork respectively. Pa announces a "democratic" referendum in his family for coming up the most popular belief practice that may save his plants. But Ma excludes herself despite the promise with her husband of teamwork.

Once everyone dropped their votes to the ballot box, Pa picks up Granny's training bra from the box. He discovers other junk rather than votes, then Caprice forces all its contents out and gives a paper to Ma. Ma reads the vote which calls for praying to the "cosmic roulette wheel", to which Granny concurs. The next votes Ma reads are from Triceps, Pa, and Lil One, the last one being a crude drawing of Ma as a queen. Ma gets confused and Bother and Blister jokingly remark on a consequence of not praying. Caprice voices her concern on the lack of respect in belief disagreements, to which her mother agrees and recommends anyone to not disturb others' beliefs. Ma vows to return work on her moon catcher.

Caprice and her father try a pow wow dance in the greenhouse to help the leeks. Pa thinks he saw one of the leeks move but one leek would be seen toppling. In another attempt, Caprice and Triceps stand upside-down in the latter's room with two leeks near them, and Caprice fails to hold up long as her sister. Caprice would then check a refrigerator and ask Lil One on his beliefs, to which he defensively shouts they're "me" and eats a carrot. King cries out the carrot eating as harm to a living being, then Lil One continues eating it. Caprice visits Ditzy's bedroom and lays on the bed complaining. Ditzy comments on the wide choices of beliefs before an irritated Caprice grabs her head and accuse her of confusing her.

Responding to the doorbell, she meets Cassandra and asks for her help before moving on to Pfff's room and have him perform music. As he sings about angels, this captivates Cassandra and annoys Caprice. Pa asks Pfff if he can purpose his singing on behalf of the leeks, and Pfff refuses to save. After Pa grunts, Granny arrives as she holds the twins while they're black ashed, and she scolds them for intruding her property. After Pa hears this, the twins express their belief on playing tricks, and Ohoh and King arrive to discuss a veggie in the fridge, the latter wanting to protect it. Ma and Lil One also arrive, trying to dispel the belief conversations but end up having everyone argue. She halts them so she can concentrate on the moon catcher. Triceps and Pa encourage her to possess a belief, then she dismisses them and goes out the room.

Ma attaches a drill on her moon catcher rope and launches it, and reels in a spaceship. A thunderstorm suddenly appears, scaring King for thinking it's a curse but also thrilling Granny. Ma claims to have spawned the storm, but the children believe it's a "sign from above." Meanwhile, a couple of lightning bolts take down Uncle Hurry's helicopter outside the house, before he and his wife rush to its door.

The couple greets the family and upon mentioning the thunder strikes they confront Lil One rejecting in general. Harried would think of religious beliefs and knows they can make money off them. While making an investment to their religion plan via phone call, Hurry calls for the publishing of the book of Paymeism ("Slapetisme" in French). After the phone call, Hurry introduces Paymeism to the family as the "one and only belief system" and himself as its prophet, messiah, and "single trinity." After Ditzy asks him how it works, he says to buy his books and byproducts, and receive his blessings. He continues promoting Paymeism by mentioning abilities like giving hope and growing and maturing vegetables. Pa mentions the lack of money to pay them, then Harried says he can borrow money from Granny. The latter agrees to lend money as long as the interest rate is fifty percent. Ma objects to Paymeism at Hurry, who then warns that the "world is nigh" and claims only followers of Paymeism will be saved.

In a throne-like room, Caprice receives her blessing from Hurry and Hurry in the form of a mobile phone. King does his next and obtains another phone. Ditzy would then ask her uncle how Paymeism is superior to other beliefs, but Harried tells her "no crazy questions." Ma agrees with her daughter, citing it as "illogical" and "raises more questions than answers." Hurry reinforces that Paymeism should not be questioned or pondered. They both growl at each other, then Ma leaves the room.

Outside, Ditzy suggests to her mother to float above to search for anyone divine. Ma permits her to do that mission. Hurry would be seen passing his books and encourages the followers to read one chapter each morning. Pa wonders what his status as a follower be. Hurry notes that he is his brother but his wife is an "infidel". He forces Pa to not get married to such people. After Pa refuses, Hurry gives him the option to divorce her and marry a Paymeist. Harried shows off the "superiority" of her religion by displaying "resurrected" golden leeks, which convinces Pa to get interested. Back outside, Ma shoots a hook-attached rope and rips open the sky to unveil a starry one, just before the spaceship departs. While exhilarating for the children, Hurry accuses Ma of "sacrilege" and making the sky fall. Harried agrees to punish the apparent infidel and calls for a court trial.

The courtroom has Hurry, Harried, and Caprice in black veiling costumes and in the podiums. Ma cries out how the religion is not genuine before Hurry silences her and labels her a "heretic". Upon letting her defense to start, Pa appears in a black cap and gown and holds the golden leeks. Lil One halts him but defends his mother before Harried calls for shutting the baby. Ma decides to demonstrate the defense herself by splashing water at the golden leeks, revealing that they're normal leeks coating in paint. Harried exits her podium and claims Ma is doing witchcraft. Ma then announces that she has a belief. Hurry would denounce sacrilege if it isn't Paymeism, but Caprice desires letting her mother speak. Ma then specifies the belief as "do-as-you-pleasism," to which Hurry scoffs at before getting whacked by Granny. Ma defines her belief as to "do as we see fit, as we like," then names different kinds of concepts and ideas that it can encompass. The children cheer as they're freed from Paymeism and hold Ma out the courtroom, leaving Hurry and Harried behind and dispirited.

During the night, Ma succeeds to catch the moon and bring it down to the Earth. Pa and Triceps observe the instant growth of the leeks and the former rushes outside to affectionate his wife. Ma credits science for letting this "miracle" to occur. Lil One suddenly shows up to claim that she's his "goddess". Ditzy returns from the sky and remarks that she never saw any gods or goddesses, therefore she's unsure if they really exist. Ma calls herself a goddess and she plans to go her bedroom with Pa, which angers Lil One. The final shot shows Hurry and Harried in front of the moon as the former does a phone call and discovers they can't get a helicopter ride home because it's the Paymeism sabbath, so they're going to walk home.

## Trivia

* The preachers in the beginning of this episode (which are probably spelled "Jerebom's Witnesses") are a parody of Jehovah's Witnesses.
	+ Likewise, the religion mentioned to contain reincarnation (their adherents probably spelled "Moodhists") could be a parody of Buddhism.

## Goofs

* Ditzy is in the crowd during the climax, despite having been dispatched by Ma to search for any deity in the sky.