Con No Pay/transcript

[This episode begins at the Donut Shack, where Mike and Kyle work. Mister Doug Nut, the owner and manager, stands behind the register.]

**DOUG: Aw, jeez. No one’s here today. If only we had just one customer here, I’d make some money. (sigh)**

[Suddenly, Connor comes in, starving and moaning.]

**DOUG: What’s gone into you?**

**CONNOR: (moaning) Oh, I don't know. (stomach implodes) What’s happening to me?**

[Kyle walks towards them.]

**KYLE: I think I can explain. (looks at Connor's droopy stomach and grabs it) Hmmm... Yep, I've seen this one before. It's a common symptom. Connor is suffering from Donut Withdrawal. He needs one, or he'll keep mumbling about it for the rest of the episode.**

**DOUG: Oh, he needs one, eh? Interesting. (to Connor) Hey, Connor. How would you like to have a donut with extra frosting? (he holds a donut with extra frosting)**

**CONNOR: (gasp) Give me!**

**DOUG: (lifts it so Connor can't grab it) Ah ah ah! Not so fast! First, I have to know. Can you pay for it?**

**CONNOR: Oh, okay. I'll pay for it.**

**DOUG: (pats him on the back) Good boy!**

[Connor is at the table with a dozen donuts stacked together. He eats them all and gets full. After, Doug walks over to him.]

**DOUG: So how were those donuts, Connor?**

**CONNOR: They were so freakin' delicious! I cannot recommend it enough!**

**DOUG: (places bill on table) Well, here you go! Pay up!**

**CONNOR: What’s this?**

**DOUG: It’s the bill for all the donuts you ate.**

**CONNOR: I don’t have any money.**

**DOUG: *WHAT?!* I thought you said you can pay for it!**

**CONNOR: Oh, I’m paying for it alright. (burps)**

**DOUG: Grrrr! (explodes)**

**CONNOR: Yipity, his skin just turned red...**

**DOUG: (grabs Connor) Listen here, you’re going to pay for those donuts! Even if you have to work to make up for the bill!**

[Time card: Working Montage]

**NARRATOR: (during time card) What follows is a working montage.**

[Montage of Connor working for him. Connor wipes the tables when shown how to, only to break them and flexes his muscles. Then, he stocks the donuts and eats them. After, he takes out the trash and throws it at his car, breaking the bag and making it all dirty.]

[Time card: Working Montage]

**NARRATOR: (during time card) We hoped you enjoyed this working montage.**

[Connor stands outside at the back entrance door.]

**CONNOR: There we go. Job well done.**

[Right when he walks back inside, he finds a dollar on his shoe due to the wind.]

**CONNOR: Ooh! (picks it up) A green piece of paper! That must mean it’s my lucky day!**

[He gives Doug the dollar inside.]

**CONNOR: There you go. I’m outta here. (tries to leave)**

**DOUG: Hold it! 12 donuts cost $1.99! You don’t have enough! Wait a minute. (looks at the dollar to find that it’s a five dollar bill) It's an Abraham Lincoln. Oh, I misjudged you. Sorry ‘bout that.**

**CONNOR: That's okay, man.**

[Doug gives Connor $3.01 back.]

**DOUG: And here's the change to make it up to you.**

**CONNOR: Have a nice day! (walks out of the restaurant)**

**DOUG: You too, boy! Ah, my daily business goal is reached. Now to… (notices that the table is broken) Grrrrr… (exterior shot of the restaurant; offscreen) Connor!**

[The end.]