Shark Jokes

**Question:** Who is the most famous shark writer ever?

**Answer.** William Sharkspeare!

**Question:**What is a sharks favorite science fiction (*sci-fi*) show?

**Answer:**Shark Trek!

**Question:**Do you know why sharks don’t like fast food?

**Answer:** Because they can’t catch it!

**Question:** How do you make a shark laugh?

**Answer:** Tell a whale of a tale!

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# **53 Shark Puns and Jokes for Shark Lovers Everywhere:**

by Seraine Page, July 3, 2018.

*Dun-uh.*

*Dun-uh.*

*Dun-uh.*

If you’re a Shark Week fan, you already know what’s coming July 22 — all the sharks.

The creatures of the deep are equal parts graceful, terrifying, and otherwise *jaw-some*.

Maybe it’s their ability to bite you right in half.

Perhaps it’s their uncanny ability to clear a beach shoreline in 30 seconds or less.

Yet, for some reason, people **LOVE** sharks.

Keep these handy for Shark Week.

You’ll need the best shark puns and shark jokes to fill in the awkward silences while you and your friends are bobbing in the ocean this summer.

And, honestly, sharks just want to be our friends.

Is that too much to bite off?

## **Shark Puns:**

It’s fin, fin, fin to bake out in the sun and then take a dip in the deep blue sea.

Unless you’re terrified of mother nature’s biggest water playground.

In that case, you might not think these shark puns are all that finny, but we think they’ve got a good bite to ‘em.

​​​​​​1. You’ve got me between a rock and a shark place.

2. This makome off as a surprise, but I don’t bite.

3. There’s *some-fin* special about you.

4. Stay *jaw-some.*

5. How do sharks greet one another?

6. Water you up to, mate?

7. What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make?

Chews wisely.

8. That shark attack really made a splash in the headlines, huh?

9. If you can be *fin-tastic*, always be *fin-tastic.*

10. How does a shark express disappointment?

Jaw, man!

11. What did the mom shark say to her mouthy son?

Don’t get sharky, son.

12. Sharks that steal always mako like a bandit.

13. Who’s the best baseball shark around?

Shark McGwire.

14. Go ahead and mako my day.

15. Don’t *de-bait* me.

You won’t win this bite.

16. Gangster shark to human:

Shark my words, you’re a dead man.

17. Where’s my bloody dinner?

## **Shark Jokes:**

The beach is the place to be this summer.

It’s also the place for sharks to chill, too.

   ​​​​​​​

Psych yourself up to take a dip when you read these jokes aloud to your *beach-going* crew.

And, really, sharks are just the ocean’s most misunderstood creatures.

Anything with a smile that big and lifeless little eyes can’t possibly mean any harm, right?
17. A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean.

Researchers advise not swimming there.

18. What did the great white shark say to the cliff jumper?

Don’t worry, I’ll catch you.

19. What did the shark say to the surfer?

Come on in, the water’s fine!

20. How does a hammerhead shark tell his mom he passed his test?

Nailed it!

21. What’s a great white’s favorite tune?

Dun-uh.

Dun-uh.

Dun-uh.

22. What did the momma shark say to the kid shark?

Watch that sharkasm, young man.

23. What song do sharks sing while they hunt for food?

Don’t Stop Bleedin’.

24. What types of sharks are the shadiest sharks?

Card sharks.
25. How does a shark plead in court?

*Gill-ty.*

26. What did the hammerhead shark say to his drinking buddies?

I’m hammered.
27. What sharks are the shortest?

Ground sharks.

28. What does a hammerhead shark call a headache?

A hammering head.

29. What do you call two sharks who get married?

Hooked for life.*​​​​​​​*

30. What does a dentist say to his shark patients?

Let’s see those chompers.

31. How do you throw a shark out of a bar?

You cast it out.

32. What did the shark say to his wife during a fight?

You’re just being jaw-matic.

33. Save a boat.

Ride a shark.

It’s more *eco-friendly.*
34. What did the shark say to the spear fisherman?

Please, spear me the pain!

35. What candy must a shark with braces avoid?

*Jaw-breakers.*

36. Sharks only attack because no one will look them straight in the eye.

37. What lie will a shark always tell a human?

I promise to take just one bite.

38. What do sharks working in fast food tell customers?

Chumming right up.

39. Him: I think you bite too much.

Her: Don’t get snappy with me.

40. How do sharks greet the day?

With the saying “***time to rise and tide***.”

    ​​​​​​​

41. How does a shark announce dinner’s ready?

“***Hot off the gill!”***

42. What did the priest say to his wife at the beach?

Let’s prey the sharks are sleeping while we’re swimming.

43. **Her**: What do you want to dinner?

**Him**: Finny you should ask, I wanted to see if you’d like to catch a bite somewhere.

44. How does a shark family get a vacation started?

By setting the wheels in ocean.
45. Tiger sharks will eat anything and everything.

Especially people who use the ocean as a bathroom.

46. Just remember, you’ll never need a bigger boat if you don’t go to the ocean.

47. Hangry sharks make the worst ocean floaties.

48. **A friendly reminder**: Sharks live in the ocean.

*Year-round.*

49. What did one shark say to the other after an awkward moment?

Whale, that was weird.

50. What did the *18-year-old* shark ask his parents when they kicked him out of the reef?

Why are you casting me out?

51. How do sharks stay up all night?

They drink *jaw-va.*
52. Where do country singing sharks try to make it big?

Gnashville.

53. What did the shark get on his biology test?

A *sea-minus.*

We hope you laugh all the way into the beach.

Spout off your favorite shark sayings and shark puns before diving in deep.

The sharks will probably think you’re too hilarious to eat.

Plan to avoid the water?

Stand on shark lookout and wear your favorite tee to let swimmers know you mean business.

Ain’t no toothy sharks taking out swimmers on your watch.

False alarms aren’t cool, either.

The *shark-dolphin* just wants to play.

And if you do meet a shark *face-to-face*?

It can be hard to pick which eye to look into, so we advise avoiding eye contact.