Edward Reviews: Doctor Who: An Unearthly Child

This is the first episode of Random Reviews

## Cast

* Stephen as the Doctor
* Millie as Susan
* Emily as Barbara Wright
* Sir Handel as Ian Chesterton
* Thomas as Za
* Mavis as Hur
* Diesel as Kal
* Others as other cavemen, students, teachers and a police officer

## Script

*(Title card, if there is one)*

**Edward**: Hello, my name is Edward, and welcome to the very first episode of Random Reviews. We couldn’t find a better name, but we’re not gonna let that get in the way. So in the very first episode we are going to look at the very first episode or episodes of “Doctor Who”

*(Doctor Who theme song plays)*

**Edward**: The show has been on for 60 years - minus the wilderne years - and has 14 main Doctors played by 13 different people as well as 2 extra ones and there have been lots of companions, and it all started out in junkyard. Now before we get to episodes, I just want to list the people who played the Doctor, there was William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker (no relation to Tom), Sylvester McCoy, then it was cancelled in 1989 and brought back as a TV movie 7 years later with Paul McGann, then 9 years later got revived and continued with Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant, Matt Smith, Peter Capaldi, Jodie Whittaker, David Tennant again and Ncuti Gatwa who at the time of writing (or release) will be introduced in the anniversary specials, the other Doctors were John Hurt who played the War Doctor in 2013 and Jo Martin who played the Fugitive Doctor in 2020 and 2022. Now without further ado, here is Doctor Who: An Unearthly Child. So after the first title sequence, a police inspector inspects a police box, we then get introduced to Barbara Wright and Ian Chesterton played by Jacqueline Hill and William Russell who are discussing about Susan, one of the students in their classes.

**Emily/Barbara**: I’ve had a terrible day and I don’t know what to make of it.

**Sir Handel/Ian**: What’s the trouble.

**Emily/Barbara**: It’s one of the girls, Susan Foreman.

**Sir Handel/Ian**: Susan Foreman, she you’re problem too?

**Edward**: They then share their experiences with Susan played by Carole Ann Ford, about her address 76 Trotter’s Lane being a junkyard, her grandfather and what she has been saying. They then go to Susan who is in Barbara’s classroom.

**Sir Handel/Ian**: Where do you live, Susan? I can give you and Barbara a ride.

**Millie/Susan**: No thanks, I like walking in the dark, it’s mysterious.

**Emily/Barbara**: We’ll see you tomorrow, then.

**Millie/Susan**: Good night.

**Edward**: Ian and Barbara go in their car, stop at 76 Trotters Lane and talk about their experiences with Susan, they then see her go in and investigate for themselves to see what’s in there, they then find a police box.

**Sir Handel/Ian**: What’s a police box doing in here? It should be in the streets. *(Feels the police box.) It’s alive*

**James/Dr. Frankenstein**: It’s a- *(gets hit by a hammer from someone off-screen) (his normal voice)* I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. Never mind I’ll get back to the game.

**Edward**: *(Clears throat)* Anyway, Susan’s grandfather, who is called the Doctor and played by William Hartnell comes in and discover Ian and Barbara.

**Sir Handel/Ian**: Excuse me.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: What are you doing here?

**Sir Handel/Ian**: We’re looking for a girl.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: We?

**Emily/Barbara**: Good Evening.

**Sir Handel/Ian**: You see, one of our students, Susan Foreman came in here.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: Really, in here are you sure?

**Emily/Barbara**: Yes, we saw her from across the street.

**Edward**: But, it goes nowhere as they confront him about Susan and suggest fetching a policeman, which would be confusing ‘cause there’s a police box there. Before they do that, Susan asks Ian and Barbara what they’re doing out there and force themselves in before The Doctor could stop them and discover that it’s bigger on the inside. *(Dum-dum-dum music plays)*

**Stephen/The Doctor**: Close the doors, Susan. I believe these people are known to you.

**Millie/Susan**: They’s my school teachers, what are you doing here.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: They must have followed you, I knew something like this would happen.

**Edward**: Susan then explains about their box called the TARDIS, which actually travels in space and time, hence the name: Time And Relative Dimensions In Space.

**Sir Handel/Ian**: So let me get this straight, a thing that looks like a police box standing in a junkyard, can move anywhere in time and space?

**Millie/Susan**: Yes

**Edward**: She and the Doctor also say they were from another world, but it’s no use in trying to let Ian And Barbara go, Susan tries to convince her grandfather, but he says they will tell everyone and he sets the controls and it takes off as we hear the TARDIS dematerialising for the first time, then they land somewhere and a mysterious shadow comes in as the first cliffhanger comes in. In the second episode titled The Cave of Skulls we find out it is a caveman who looks at the TARDIS like it appeared out of nowhere. Meanwhile, the crew get out of the TARDIS after the Doctor says they have travelled back in time, Ian and Barbara are amazed by this, while the Doctor is confused about the TARDIS not changing.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: It’s still a police box, why hasn’t it changed, dear, dear, how very disturbing.

**Edward**: The Doctor goes off to collect DNA to see where they are, while the others check on a skull, Susan also wonders why the ship hasn’t changed yet and Ian and Barbara who the Doctor is.

**Sir Handel/Ian**: I was wrong, wasn’t I.

**Emily/Barbara**: Oh, look, I don't understand it any more than you do. The inside of the ship, suddenly finding ourselves here. Even some of the things Doctor Foreman says

**Sir Handel/Ian**: That's not his name. Who is he? Doctor who?

**Duck**: My gosh, the first person to ask the question: “Doctor Who” in the show.

**Edward**: Meanwhile, a tribe of cavemen trying to make fire, and whoever makes the fire is the leader of the tribe, Za who is the son of the leader of the tribe who died before passing it on to him is trying to make fire, while Hur thinks that Kal a stranger of the tribe would think he would be a better leader.

**Thomas/Za**: Without meat, we go hungry. Without fire, we die.

**Mavis/Hur**: Old men see no further than tomorrow's meat. They will make Kal the leader. My father will give me to him.

**Thomas/Za**: Kal is no leader.

**Mavis/Hur**: The leader is the one who makes fire.

**Thomas/Za**: Where has the fire gone? Where? Where?

**Edward**: Meanwhile, Kal is watching the Doctor as he uses a match to light his, um, pipe.

**Stephen**: OK, just to let everyone know this is the only time he smokes.

**Marion**: Or she.

**Edward**: Anyway, the man who is known as Kal attacks the Doctor and his companions go to investigate, but all they see is a broken Geiger counter, his hat and his bag carrying samples. Elsewhere Kal takes the Doctor to his tribe, well technically his tribe died out in the cold and they took him in, anyway, he lays him in a big rock, who he thinks can make fire from his fingers

**Diesel/Kal**: Orb has sent me this creature to make fire come from his fingers. I have seen it. Inside, he's full of fire. The smoke comes from his mouth.

**Thomas/Za**: As lies come out of yours. He wears strange skins.

**Edward**: The Doctor wakes up and promises to make fire for the tribe, even though his matched aren’t in his pockets. Susan, Barbara and Ian soon join him and he threatens if the tribe kills them he will not make fire. The group are then taken to the Cave of Skulls until the sun rises and find out why it’s called the Cave of Skulls.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: Look at those. Look at them.

**Sir Handel/Ian**: Yes, they're all the same. They've been split wide open.

**Edward**: The next episode is called The Forest Of Fear, and it starts as the old woman sets the group free and Za and Hur find out.

**Henrietta/Woman**: I will set you free if you will go away and not make fire. Fire will bring trouble and death to the tribe.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: There will be no fire.

**Henrietta/Woman**: Hurry, hurry. You must go across the tuft and into the trees.

**Edward**: Za and Hur go after them, while The Doctor, Susan, Ian and Barbara go through the forest, soon they find a dead boar, but then Za is injured and the group go back and help him with his wounds.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: One minute ago we were trying desperately to get away from these savages.

**Sir Handel/Ian**: All right, now we're helping them. You're a doctor, do something.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: I'm not a doctor of medicine.

**Millie/Susan**: Grandfather, we can make friends with them.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: Oh, don't be ridiculous, child.

**Emily/Barbara**: Why? You treat everybody and everything as something less important than yourself.

**Edward**: Kal finds out about this, but after he confronts her she is found dead. Meanwhile, the group try to get Za to the TARDIS but the tribe of cavemen surround them. In the last part titled The Firemaker, they are brought back to the cave and Kal said that Za killed the old woman and set them free, but Hur says that the woman set them free.

**Diesel/Kal**: Here. Here is the knife he killed her with.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: This knife has no blood on it. I said, this knife has no blood on it.

**Diesel/Kal**: It is a bad knife. It does not show the things it does.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: It is a finer knife than yours.

**Diesel/Kal**: I, Kal, say it is a bad knife.

**Stephen/The Doctor**: This knife can cut and stab. I have never seen a better knife.

**Diesel/Kal**: I will show you one. *(Wah-wah music plays)*

**Edward**: Yep, Kal made a big mistake showing his knife, he then admits that he killed the woman

**Stephen/The Doctor**: Is this your strong leader? One who kills your old women? He is a bad leader. He will kill you all.

**Edward**: So, the Doctor, Ian, Barbara, Susan and the tribe drive him out with stones, then after he is driven out the tribe put the group back into the cave of skulls. Za then asks Hur what happened after he got knocked out.

**Mavis/Hur**: The young man of their tribe came towards you, but he did not kill. He told me his name.

**Thomas/Za**: Name?

**Mavis/Hur**: His name is Friend.

**Thomas/Za**: They come from the other side of the mountains.

**Mavis/Hur**: Nothing lives there.

**Thomas/Za**: There are other tribes there. This new tribe must come from there. Tell me more of what happened.

**Mavis/Hur**: I did not understand them. Their hands moved slowly and their faces were not fierce. It was like a mother guarding her baby.

**Thomas/Za**: They are a new tribe. Not like us. Not like Kal. The young one, whose name is Friend, spoke to me.

**Mavis/Hur**: Do you remember it?

**Thomas/Za**: He said, Kal is not stronger than the whole tribe.

**Mavis/Hur**: I do not understand.

**Thomas/Za**: The whole tribe drove Kal away with the stones. The whole tribe can collect more fruit than one. The whole tribe can kill a beast where one of the tribe would die.

**Edward**: Za then goes to the group where they are making fire, but little do they know that Kal is watching, he makes his move, *(Checks his ear)* what? I’m sorry we seem to be getting live pictures and we now go to Duck who is on the scene.

**Duck**: Yes Edward, I am at the scene of the fight, now as you can see Kal has his axe as his weapon and Za has nothing, but wait hold on he has got a branch.

**Edward**: Wait, hold on what is the point of this news-like cross.

**Duck**: it’s in the script.

**Edward**: Hold on, let me check *(Checks his script)* oh yeah, I forgot to tell everyone watching this that we’ll be doing this a lot, so, yeah. Continue.

**Duck**: Guess you get caught in the moment. Anyway, they’re still fighting so we’re going to someone to get their analysis of it, Doc what do you think about this?

**Stephen/The Doctor**: Kindly refrain from calling me Doc, but I had a feeling he might come back and I wasn’t expecting a tree branch for a weapon.

**Duck**: How’s the fire?

**Millie/Susan**: Well, it’s not going out soon.

**Duck**: Ok, it looks like Za has got the upper hand *(Thud off-screen)* and it looks like it is over Za has just killed Kal, we’re going to get a few words from him. Za, do you think this is a big triumph

**Thomas/Za**: Yes, Kal would return and if he did, well you get the idea.

**Duck**: There you have it, that’s it from me and it’s back to you Edward.

**Edward**: Now, after that Za show his tribe the fire and the group are to stay in the cave to make more fire, but Susan has an idea to escape, they put 4 skulls on 4 poles and put them on fire, luckily they escape and the tribe is terrified until Za sets them straight.

**Thomas/Za**: Look. It is nothing but fire and the bones of the dead. They have gone! While we look at their fire, they have gone!

**Mavis/Hur**: Into the night. The dark will hide them.

**Thomas/Za**: With fire, it is day.

**Edward**: Looks like we’re going live again, Harold have they gone back to the TARDIS yet?

**Harold**: Not yet, there’s no sign of them or the cavemen, I can’t see through the trees. Wait a minute, I can see all four of them they’re out and it looks like they have been followed by cavemen, they are in the TARDIS and they’ve taken off. Well, there they go and I’ve got to go now because it looks like they’re going to through spears at me, this is Harold signing off and going fast.

**Edward**: Back in the TARDIS, the Doctor explains that he doesn’t know how to control it

**Stephen/The Doctor**: You see, this isn't operating properly. Or rather, the code is still a secret. When you put the right data, precise information to a second of the beginning of a journey, then we can fix a destination, but I had no data at my disposal.

**Emily/Barbara**: Are you saying that you don't know how to work this thing?

**Stephen/The Doctor**: Well of course I can't. I'm not a miracle worker.

**Millie/Susan**: You can't blame Grandfather. We left the other place too quickly, that's all.

**Sir Handel/Ian**: Just a minute. Did you try and take us back to our own time?

**Stephen/The Doctor**: Well, I got you away from that other time, didn't I?

**Edward**: They land at a new destination and Susan goes to check on the radiation reading.

**Millie/Susan**: It's reading normal, Grandfather.

**Diesel 10**: Or is it. *(Laughs manically)*

**Edward**: And that was the first story of Doctor Who, while it has a lot of stories and episodes we won’t be covering all of them right now, since there are a lot of them but we’ll cover one of them on a later episode. We’ll see you in the next review.