Casper's Texts

A selection of Casper Birkshaw's **text messages.** Use the navigation tabs to read different conversations for each person.

## Tom Connelly

Listed in Casper's phone as **Archie's Understudy**.

* November 3rd
* October 1st
* January 12th
##### November 3rd

```
So

```

```
Wednesday, 10:38 am
```

So

```
Any chance you know what ringworm looks like

```

```
Wednesday, 10:38 am
```

Any chance you know what ringworm looks like

```
This better be a fucking joke

```

```
Wednesday, 10:39 am
```

This better be a fucking joke

```
You don't think I got it from Xena do you?

```

```
Wednesday, 10:39 am
```

You don't think I got it from Xena do you?

```
If Xena has ringworm Coco is gonna kill you

```

```
Wednesday, 10:39 am
```

If Xena has ringworm Coco is gonna kill you

```
Last time I'll ever babysit her diseased demon child 😑

```

```
Wednesday, 10:40 am
```

Last time I'll ever babysit her diseased demon child 😑

##### October 1st

```
Don't wait up, I'm at Maya's for the weekend

```

```
Friday, 3:01 pm
```

Don't wait up, I'm at Maya's for the weekend

```
Maya Hendrickson? In your dreams

```

```
Friday, 3:03 pm
```

Maya Hendrickson? In your dreams

```
I'm a gentleman so I won't provide picture proof

```

```
Friday, 3:03 pm
```

I'm a gentleman so I won't provide picture proof

```
You're only a gentleman when it's convenient

```

```
Friday, 3:03 pm
```

You're only a gentleman when it's convenient

```
ok fine I lied

```

```
Friday, 3:04 pm
```

ok fine I lied

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Wow, that's a true gentleman move.

```

```
Friday, 3:04 pm
```

Wow, that's a true gentleman move.

```
🖕🏻

```

```
Friday, 3:04 pm
```

🖕🏻

```
Where are you really going??

```

```
Friday, 3:05 pm
```

Where are you really going??

```
Noneya

```

```
Friday, 3:05 pm
```

Noneya

```
🙄

```

```
Friday, 3:05 pm
```

🙄

```
You made me check you for hemmorroids dude. I've literally seen inside your asshole. What could possibly be worse?

```

```
Friday, 3:07 pm
```

You made me check you for hemmorroids dude. I've literally seen inside your asshole. What could possibly be worse?

```
This is worse

```

```
Friday, 3:07 pm
```

This is worse

```
dude

```

```
Friday, 3:07 pm
```

dude

```
IM AT THE RENAISSANCE FAIR OK

```

```
Friday, 3:08 pm
```

IM AT THE RENAISSANCE FAIR OK

```
man you better provide picture proof of this

```

```
Friday, 3:08 pm
```

man you better provide picture proof of this

```
I'm begging on my hands and knees

```

```
Friday, 3:11 pm
```

I'm begging on my hands and knees

```
TOMMMYYYY

```

```
Friday, 3:15 pm
```

TOMMMYYYY

##### January 12th

```
Get your dirty shoes off my coffee table

```

```
Wednesday, 1:23 pm
```

Get your dirty shoes off my coffee table

```
You're not even home!!

```

```
Wednesday, 1:23 pm
```

You're not even home!!

```
I have eyes everywhere 👀👀👀

```

```
Wednesday, 1:24 pm
```

I have eyes everywhere 👀👀👀

```
You're the dirtiest clean freak I've ever met

```

```
Wednesday, 1:25 pm
```

You're the dirtiest clean freak I've ever met

```
I'm a beautiful oxymoron

```

```
Wednesday, 1:25 pm
```

I'm a beautiful oxymoron

```
You're some kinda moron, that's for sure...

```

```
Wednesday, 1:26 pm
```

You're some kinda moron, that's for sure...

## Mikaela Mayfield

Listed in Casper's phone as **Mama 🐻**.

* September 6th
* November 2nd
##### September 6th

```
Hi sweet pea, good luck with your first classes! Did you get mycare package?

```

```
Monday, 7:00 am
```

Hi sweet pea, good luck with your first classes! Did you get mycare package?

```
Idk let me check the front desk

```

```
Monday, 7:04 am
```

Idk let me check the front desk

```
I think someone stole it 😤

```

```
Monday, 7:12 am
```

I think someone stole it 😤

```
They said I had a package this morning but it's gone now

```

```
Monday, 7:12 am
```

They said I had a package this morning but it's gone now

```
Oh no!!! I put homemade cookies in there :(

```

```
Monday, 7:13 am
```

Oh no!!! I put homemade cookies in there :(

```
Whoever stole it better appreciate them

```

```
Monday, 7:13 am
```

Whoever stole it better appreciate them

```
How many people live in your dorm building? I'll bake cookies for allof them next time. Problem solved!

```

```
Monday, 7:15 am
```

How many people live in your dorm building? I'll bake cookies for allof them next time. Problem solved!

```
Mama that's like 300 people

```

```
Monday, 7:15 am
```

Mama that's like 300 people

```
Sounds like a challenge to me!

```

```
Monday, 7:16 am
```

Sounds like a challenge to me!

##### November 2nd

```
Do you have time to talk?

```

```
Tuesday, 9:41 pm
```

Do you have time to talk?

```
I always have time for you, Pooh Bear ❤

```

```
Tuesday, 9:42 pm
```

I always have time for you, Pooh Bear ❤

```
Thanks for talking, I needed that

```

```
Tuesday, 10:39 pm
```

Thanks for talking, I needed that

```
I miss y'all

```

```
Tuesday, 10:39 pm
```

I miss y'all

```
We miss you more ❤❤❤

```

```
Tuesday, 10:40 pm
```

We miss you more ❤❤❤

## Coco

Listed in Casper's phone as **Tornado**.

* December 28th
* April 5th
* October 20th
##### December 28th

```
can u pick up a pregnancy test on ur way

```

```
Monday, 1:02 pm
```

can u pick up a pregnancy test on ur way

```
No wtf that better be a joke

```

```
Monday, 1:04 pm
```

No wtf that better be a joke

```
yeah it is lmaoooooooooo

```

```
Monday, 1:04 pm
```

yeah it is lmaoooooooooo

```
you fell for it tho

```

```
Monday, 1:04 pm
```

you fell for it tho

```
It's not that far away from the realm of possibility 🙄

```

```
Monday, 1:05 pm
```

It's not that far away from the realm of possibility 🙄

```
lol fuck u

```

```
Monday, 1:05 pm
```

lol fuck u

```
can u actually pick up tampons pls

```

```
Monday, 1:05 pm
```

can u actually pick up tampons pls

```
Yeah

```

```
Monday, 1:06 pm
```

Yeah

```
🙏🏼

```

```
Monday, 1:06 pm
```

🙏🏼

##### April 5th

```
I saw Xena has a dr appt today. I get out of class at 3, you want me to come with you?

```

```
Tuesday, 9:20 am
```

I saw Xena has a dr appt today. I get out of class at 3, you want me to come with you?

```
u want to?

```

```
Tuesday, 9:20 am
```

u want to?

```
Maybe I'm in it for the free sticker 😜

```

```
Tuesday, 9:21 am
```

Maybe I'm in it for the free sticker 😜

```
lol its up to u

```

```
Tuesday, 9:25 am
```

lol its up to u

```
Then I'll be there

```

```
Tuesday, 9:25 am
```

Then I'll be there

##### October 20th

```
What are you dressing as for Halloween?

```

```
Wednesday, 2:51 pm
```

What are you dressing as for Halloween?

```
slutty cat. slutty mime. slutty big bird. slutty ketchup packet. not sure

```

```
Wednesday, 2:52 pm
```

slutty cat. slutty mime. slutty big bird. slutty ketchup packet. not sure

```
For your consideration...

```

```
Wednesday, 2:53 pm
```

For your consideration...

```

```

```
Wednesday, 2:53 pm
```

```
oh we're going as a couple hmmm

```

```
Wednesday, 2:54 pm
```

oh we're going as a couple hmmm

```
What about this one

```

```
Wednesday, 2:54 pm
```

What about this one

```

```

```
Wednesday, 2:54 pm
```

```
i wanna dress slutty :(

```

```
Wednesday, 2:56 pm
```

i wanna dress slutty :(

```

```

```
Wednesday, 2:58 pm
```

```
Nothing says slutty like open wounds...

```

```
Wednesday, 2:58 pm
```

Nothing says slutty like open wounds...

```
true. ew

```

```
Wednesday, 2:58 pm
```

true. ew

```
this is too complicated i shld just show up naked

```

```
Wednesday, 2:59 pm
```

this is too complicated i shld just show up naked

## Asa Mayfield

Listed in Casper's phone as **Baby Bro**.

```
SLKDS SODSE ER32FJK A FZXME21 FASARUAWU

```

```
Tuesday, 11:54 pm
```

SLKDS SODSE ER32FJK A FZXME21 FASARUAWU

```
Are you drunk?

```

```
Tuesday, 11:54 pm
```

Are you drunk?

```
Sorry. Mac walked on my phone.

```

```
Tuesday, 11:54 pm
```

Sorry. Mac walked on my phone.

```
I was trying to say happy birthday! Mac tried too.

```

```
Tuesday, 11:55 pm
```

I was trying to say happy birthday! Mac tried too.

```
Thanks Asa (and Mac)! I'll see you next week!! Can't wait to show you around the valley. You're gonna love the nature trails

```

```
Tuesday, 11:56 pm
```

Thanks Asa (and Mac)! I'll see you next week!! Can't wait to show you around the valley. You're gonna love the nature trails

## Stevie Donovan

```
How are my babies doing? 🐹

```

```
Saturday, 8:02 pm
```

How are my babies doing? 🐹

```
they're perfect angels 😇

```

```
Saturday, 8:08 pm
```

they're perfect angels 😇

```

```

```
Saturday, 8:08 pm
```

```
Gay

```

```
Saturday, 8:09 pm
```

Gay

## Talon Barrett

* March 19th
* December 17th
##### March 19th

```
Did you & Tom get that email from Coach Davis too?

```

```
Saturday, 5:54 pm
```

Did you & Tom get that email from Coach Davis too?

```
About the reunion photo? Yeah, I don't know if I can make it though

```

```
Saturday, 5:59 pm
```

About the reunion photo? Yeah, I don't know if I can make it though

```
Why are we doing a reunion after less than a year anyway?

```

```
Saturday, 5:59 pm
```

Why are we doing a reunion after less than a year anyway?

```
Aw I think he misses us

```

```
Saturday, 6:00 pm
```

Aw I think he misses us

```
Yeah right, we lost more games than we won

```

```
Saturday, 6:00 pm
```

Yeah right, we lost more games than we won

```
So much for the stereotype of small towns being great at football...

```

```
Saturday, 6:01 pm
```

So much for the stereotype of small towns being great at football...

```
If I made it in time, would you be there?

```

```
Saturday, 6:01 pm
```

If I made it in time, would you be there?

```
No promises

```

```
Saturday, 6:01 pm
```

No promises

```
I'll take that as a yes 🤠

```

```
Saturday, 6:01 pm
```

I'll take that as a yes 🤠

##### December 17th

```
I saw your Facebook post today... I'm still waiting for my thank you!!

```

```
Friday, 1:33 pm
```

I saw your Facebook post today... I'm still waiting for my thank you!!

```
For...?

```

```
Friday, 1:41 pm
```

For...?

```
Setting you up with Jordan! You wouldn't be having an anniversary without me 😜

```

```
Friday, 1:41 pm
```

Setting you up with Jordan! You wouldn't be having an anniversary without me 😜

```
*Jaden

```

```
Friday, 1:42 pm
```

* Jaden

```
Thanks Cas 👍🏽

```

```
Friday, 1:42 pm
```

Thanks Cas 👍🏽

```
How many anniversaries before you remember his name?

```

```
Friday, 1:43 pm
```

How many anniversaries before you remember his name?

```
TBD...

```

```
Friday, 1:43 pm
```

TBD...

## Iris McMillan

```
This reminded me of you lol

```

```
Sunday, 9:12 pm
```

This reminded me of you lol

```

```

```
Sunday, 9:12 pm
```

```
Oh my god, it's too real 😩

```

```
Sunday, 9:48 pm
```

Oh my god, it's too real 😩

```
Hope you've been well x

```

```
Sunday, 9:48 pm
```

Hope you've been well x

```
VSU is crazy but I'm hanging in there 💪🏻

```

```
Sunday, 9:49 pm
```

VSU is crazy but I'm hanging in there 💪🏻

```
Next time you're in town, let's get coffee or something?

```

```
Sunday, 9:50 pm
```

Next time you're in town, let's get coffee or something?

```
That would be great

```

```
Sunday, 9:51 pm
```

That would be great

## Sylvia Shea

```
You better be coming home for Christmas break!!

```

```
Thursday, 4:25 pm
```

You better be coming home for Christmas break!!

```
Yeah I am

```

```
Thursday, 4:25 pm
```

Yeah I am

```
Kinda nervous abt it

```

```
Thursday, 4:25 pm
```

Kinda nervous abt it

```
Don't be! We all wanna see you!!

```

```
Thursday, 4:26 pm
```

Don't be! We all wanna see you!!

```
Trust me, everyone is over you by now. You're not that special 😝

```

```
Thursday, 4:26 pm
```

Trust me, everyone is over you by now. You're not that special 😝

```
Damn tell it to me straight...

```

```
Thursday, 4:26 pm
```

Damn tell it to me straight...

```
Hey switch to discord, I have to tell y'all about my bf

```

```
Thursday, 4:27 pm
```

Hey switch to discord, I have to tell y'all about my bf

```
Ex bf? We'll see

```

```
Thursday, 4:27 pm
```

Ex bf? We'll see

```
That Gus guy?

```

```
Thursday, 4:28 pm
```

That Gus guy?

```
*Pretends to be shocked*

```

```
Thursday, 4:28 pm
```

* Pretends to be shocked\*

## Augustus

Listed in Casper's phone as **Gus**.

* September 11th
* October 17th
##### September 11th

```
I was right, it's way easier to talk through text than the app. If Idesigned that app it wouldn't be half as bad as it is now. Should I gointo programming? 🤔 It can't be too hard.

```

```
Saturday, 5:04 pm
```

I was right, it's way easier to talk through text than the app. If Idesigned that app it wouldn't be half as bad as it is now. Should I gointo programming? 🤔 It can't be too hard.

```
Uh hey Gus that's your choice man!

```

```
Saturday, 5:12 pm
```

Uh hey Gus that's your choice man!

```
Nah, I talked myself out of it. Business is where it's at 💯What's up with you? Are you free for dinner yet? You know I can helpyou manage your schedule if you're still too busy.

```

```
Saturday, 5:14 pm
```

Nah, I talked myself out of it. Business is where it's at 💯What's up with you? Are you free for dinner yet? You know I can helpyou manage your schedule if you're still too busy.

```
Yeah no I'm actually free tonight if you are

```

```
Saturday, 5:15 pm
```

Yeah no I'm actually free tonight if you are

```
I'll make us reservations! Do you have any allergies? Nothing ruinsa date like being rushed to the hospital for anaphylactic shock.

```

```
Saturday, 5:16 pm
```

I'll make us reservations! Do you have any allergies? Nothing ruinsa date like being rushed to the hospital for anaphylactic shock.

```
Nope, reserve away 😅

```

```
Saturday, 5:19 pm
```

Nope, reserve away 😅

##### October 17th

```
I'm taking us disc golfing today, cool? I miss your cute face.

```

```
Sunday, 11:09 am
```

I'm taking us disc golfing today, cool? I miss your cute face.

```
😳

```

```
Sunday, 11:23 am
```

😳

```
Idk anything about disc golfing

```

```
Sunday, 11:23 am
```

Idk anything about disc golfing

```
Luckily for you, I'm a bit of an expert. I used my unemployment checkto buy a set of discs. I know what you're thinking! "Gus, why are youcollecting unemployment? You have your life so put together!" Well,I believe in utilizing every opportunity given to you to the fullest extentpossible. That's how you succeed in life.

```

```
Sunday, 11:25 am
```

Luckily for you, I'm a bit of an expert. I used my unemployment checkto buy a set of discs. I know what you're thinking! "Gus, why are youcollecting unemployment? You have your life so put together!" Well,I believe in utilizing every opportunity given to you to the fullest extentpossible. That's how you succeed in life.

```
I wasn't thinking that lol

```

```
Sunday, 11:29 am
```

I wasn't thinking that lol

```
See you later then

```

```
Sunday, 11:29 am
```

See you later then

## Cami

```
I'll be a little late!

```

```
Saturday, 6:02 pm
```

I'll be a little late!

```
Drive careful, traffic was bad on my way here

```

```
Saturday, 6:03 pm
```

Drive careful, traffic was bad on my way here

```
Should I order an appetizer?

```

```
Saturday, 6:16 pm
```

Should I order an appetizer?

```
Guess I'll go home then. I'm sorry if I did something wrong

```

```
Saturday, 6:58 pm
```

Guess I'll go home then. I'm sorry if I did something wrong

```
I'm really sorry. I'm just not looking for anything serious

```

```
Saturday, 7:29 pm
```

I'm really sorry. I'm just not looking for anything serious

```
Wish you could have kept me in the loop 👍🏻

```

```
Saturday, 7:31 pm
```

Wish you could have kept me in the loop 👍🏻

## Unknown

```
Is this Casper?

```

```
Friday, 8:42 pm
```

Is this Casper?

```
Haha who's asking

```

```
Friday, 8:44 pm
```

Haha who's asking

```
I saw your profile on Grindr and realized we were in a study grouplast semester

```

```
Friday, 8:44 pm
```

I saw your profile on Grindr and realized we were in a study grouplast semester

```
Oh God 🥴

```

```
Friday, 8:56 pm
```

Oh God 🥴

```
Are you still looking?

```

```
Friday, 8:56 pm
```

Are you still looking?

```
Sorry man you're like a week too late for real

```

```
Friday, 8:58 pm
```

Sorry man you're like a week too late for real

```
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take 😎 See you around?

```

```
Friday, 8:59 pm
```

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take 😎 See you around?

```
See you!

```

```
Friday, 9:00 pm
```

See you!