List of Quotes/Lines in Dumb Teacher

The following is a list of Quotes/Lines heard in Dumb Teacher and its spin-offs.

## Dumb Teacher

### Season 3

#### 8. Back To The Past

* **McNeese**: Ugh, my fuckin' head...At least things can't get any motherfucking worse than this bullshit.

*(Dan's flashlight turns on, facing him. Dan is seen sitting on his bed shocked while holding the flashlight. After a quick gasp, he quietly screeches for 2.5 seconds before spraying his eyes with a pepper spray bottle. McNeese groans and screams in pain as he covers his eyes. After 4 seconds, the camera cuts to Johnny and Cheryl's bedroom, where Cheryl wakes up gasping in shock as she hears McNeese's scream. The camera then cuts back to Dan's bedroom, where McNeese is seen lying on the floor rolling sideways)*

* **McNeese**: *(screams in agony)* YOU FUCKING KAD-LOVING HONKY PICKANINNY!! YOU SPRAYED MY FUCKING EYES WITH FUCKING PEPPER SPRAY! WHAT IS YOUR MOTHERFUCKING PROBLEM, WHITE NEGRO?!

*(Cheryl opens Dan's door afraid)*

* **Cheryl**: Danny-kins, are you o- *(turns on light switch, then gasps; her expression turns angry)* Mr. McNeese! What the hell are you doing in my Danny-kins' bedroom?
* **McNeese**: "Danny-kins"? Your fucking mother calls you fuckin' Danny-kins? Your a fuckin' retard to let your momma call you that.
* **Cheryl**: Get out of my house, now!
* **McNeese**: But, Mrs. Evans, your Kadvlok-loving son just sprayed me with Kad bug spray!
* **Cheryl**: I don't care! Get out before I call the cops, racist!
* **McNeese**: Alright, al-fucking-right, I'm leavin', I'm leavin', don't fuck with it, you skank.
* **Cheryl**: *(yelling at McNeese)* AND DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME A SKANK AGAIN! *(talks to herself)* God, I've been trying to get him banned from the school ever since he was instated as the teacher. Goddamn, racist and sexist bastard. *(to Dan)* Did he hurt you, Danny-kins?
* **Dan**: No. He just broke into my room. *(looks at open closet)* Looks like he was heading for my time machine and was gonna use it to change the past. I gotta put a security system on that thing in the morning.

### Season 4

#### 4. Thief

* **TOM 4**: What's up, Toonami faithful, the Technic Heroes Giveaway just ended, and we would like to announce our five lucky grand prize winners. First up is Sa-

*(Screen statics to a GHTV News report)*

* **Reporter**: We interrupt your anime-related programming to bring you this shocking news report for tonight! A 14-year old boy by the name of Sammy McDonald, had violently complained that America's favorite anime block, Toonami, had ripped him off through the Technic Heroes Giveaway sweepstakes which he had entered, with the grand prize being the soon-to-be-in-stores 20th Anniversary Blu-ray disc of the record-breaking kadsresatsu film, Bionicle VIII: The Final Battle. Sammy was one of the five grand prize winners for the sweepstakes, but unfortunately, instead of a Blu-ray, he got... A regular DVD copy of the film. Sammy had this to say:

*(Scene cuts to a sound-bar with Sammy's recording with the recording being quoted on screen)*

* **Sammy**: *(recording)* I don't know how it happened. But there's one thing you should all know... *(furious)* TOONAMI RIPPED MY FUCKING ASS OFF BECAUSE THEY GAVE ME A DVD COPY OF BIONICLE VIII, INSTEAD OF A 20TH ANNIVERSARY BLU-RAY THEY HAD PROMISED! THANKS TO TOM RIPPING MY ASS OFF, I'M NEVER WATCHING TOONAMI AGAIN! *(recording plays audio of Sammy walking to his room tearing off some posters)* MY DAD NEVER SHOULD'VE LEFT ME IN FRONT OF YOU, MOLTAR, AND I NEVER SHOULD'VE MET YOU, TOM!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT HOOKED ON THIS CRAP AT AGE 3! FUCK YOU, TOONAM-

*(Scene cuts back to the stage, where the reporter has a shocked face)*

* **Reporter**: Okay... Let's just say he had a serious meltdown. Now, back to your originally schedul- *(hand gives him a piece of paper)* Wait, what's this? This kid was never meant to be ripped off? This just in, according to a note from an intern at Michigan's Cartoon Network studio, who was watching the report right now, he claims that Cartoon Network had never meant to rip the boy off, and that they somehow must've sent him the wrong copy of the film. Sam must feel guilty now after hearing this. Anyways, back to- *(hand gives him another piece of paper)* Wait, now we're talking about several items that have been stolen from around the world? How long is this interruption gonna last? There have been items stolen around the world! Saudi Arabia, France, Germany, Australia, the UK, New Zealand, Japan, El Kadsre, North and South Korea, and Brazil, all have had many items mysteriously gone in a flash!

#### 15. The Vloks Must Be Crazy

*(Choki is seen in his bathroom sitting down on the toilet reading a Japanese hentai magazine, while his mouth drools. When suddenly, his house starts shaking. Choki stops drooling and looking at the magazine)*

* **Choki**: What in the name of Miyazaki?

*(The scene cuts to Choki's kitchen, where a blue time portal appears and screaming can be heard from it. The camera then cuts to the front of Choki's bathroom door, where the silhouette falls to the ground. Choki comes out of the bathroom, and is surprised as the camera zooms in and a dramatic chord plays. The camera then cuts and zooms in to the silhouette, where the person is revealed to be Michael Vlokozu. Another dramatic chord plays)*

* **Choki**: I know you! You're the only prime minister and namesake of the former Vlokozu Union, Michael Vlokozu!
* **Michael**: *(rubs his head and gets up)* Yup, that's me.
* **Choki**: How did you get here? How *are* you here? You've been dead since '89!
* **Michael**: "Dead since '89"? You mean I die in eight years? Oh my god, it's 1981, and already, I know the year of my death.
* **Choki**: 1981? Uh, Mikey, how, in the name of Akira Toriyama, did you get here?
* **Michael**: Well, I was just in my lovely manor gettin' ready to have sex with my lovely Laverne...You do know what sex is, ri- *(Choki interrupts him)*
* **Choki**: *Yes*.
* **Michael**: Oh. Anyways, I was just in my lovely manor gettin' ready to have sex with my lovely Laverne, when suddenly, the portal opens up, and swipes me away from my bed and Laverne and into this small house. Where am I now? And if that portal was a time portal, *when* am I?
* **Choki**: Greenhill, Michigan, USA. The year is 2008.
* **Michael**: 2008? *(Michael walks up to a window by Choki's door)* Well I'll be. I'm 27 years into the future! How's the old Union been doin' without me?
* **Choki**: Well, a few days after you die, the Union splits, three states part of the Union gain independence, and the UEKN is formed. Also, there are no flying cars. Terrorist attacks on airplanes sank that ship before it could ever sail.
* **Michael**: Aw...B-But the Vlokozuian- er, *former* Vlokozuian states are still around, right?
* **Choki**: Yes, even Mahri and VIcnora. Hm...What else is there to say about the future? *(Choki looks at his Lintendo Gii console)* And also...Video games are now in glorious 3D!
* **Michael**: 3D? You mean, like the Technic Heroes movies?
* **Choki**: Close, but 3D, as in...computer-generated graphics! I'll show you.

### Season 6

#### 4. Living In His Late 1940s

* **Logan**: Dan, no! It's me, Logan, remember? I owe you an apology for what I said to you a couple of days ago in El Kadsre City. All of those things I said about El Kadsre, those are all not true. Through a vision, I realized that, without El Kadsre, we wouldn't have all of these great things we use today: Widescreen TVs, energy drinks, desktop computers, the Internet, touch-screen phones, silent mode on phones, and Lindsay Smith. Without any of those things, we wouldn't be where we are today. I see now why you're an Elkadsreophile, Dan. Not just because of Michael and Kayos, but also because of the great things they've given the world. I'm sorry for breaking your heart, Dan. Can you ever forgive me? I promise, I will never hate your favorite country again.

*(Dan lowers his gun down for 3 seconds in awe, but then suddenly aims it back at Logan and James with an angry expression. Logan, James & Choki raise their hands up in the air with shocked expressions as a dramatic sting plays)*

* **Dan**: Nice try, eager beavers, but I guess I'm killing both a Jap, and a couple of Jap loyalists tonight!
* **Logan**: *(to James; quickly)* James, plan B! Bring your phone out and play Dan's favorite movie!

*(James quickly grabs out his pgone, types on it, then throws it at Dan, who drops his gun to catch it)*

* **Dan**: What the hell did you jus- *(looks at phone screen, which shows the title card for Quest for the Masks, Dan is intrigued)* Hey, I... *(his 40s accent reverts back to his normal accent)* I know what this device is...a-and this movie, too!
* **James**: It's working! He's beginning to remember everything! Choki, *(points to a conveniently-placed chair with a tag saying, "MADE IN EL KADSRE"*) get that conveniently placed chair from El Kadsre for Dan to sit on.
* **Choki**: Got it.

*(Choki grabs the chair and drags it behind Dan, Dan sits down on it while still watching the movie on James' phone. His hat flies away)*

* **James**: Good! All he needs now is some El Kadsreian food and drink, and he'll be back to normal.
* **Choki**: I'll get him some Sminster along with some disco crackers.

*(Choki runs off the screen. The scene then cuts to Dan sitting on the chair, his black tie now gone. The text, "8 minutes later..." appears on the bottom of the screen for 2 seconds before fading out. Choki arrives at the scene with a bag of Sminster, a bag of rice crackers (discos), and a large Sminster cup. He puts the cup inbetween Dan's legs and leaves the Sminster bag and Disco Crackers bag on his legs. Dan notices the Sminster bag, looks inside of it, and pulls out a Smits-Burger, which he takes a bite out of. Afterwards, he drinks the cup, and after a sip, his hair cartoonishly pops back to his blue-dyed hair, cowlicks returning as well)*

* **Logan**: Alright, let's leave Dan where he is at right now, maybe the whole movie could make him fully remember.

*(The scene then cuts to the same alleyway Dan is sitting in with the text, "2 hours later..." appearing on the bottom for 2 seconds before fading out. Logan, James and Choki walk in)*

* **Dan**: Man, Hideki Hamasaki kills it with Tahu, everytime! *(notices Logan)* Oh, hi Logan. I remember everything that just happened and, I heard your apology. So I forgive you.
* **Logan**: I'm glad you're back, Dan. Let's say we go watch the previous 6 New Chronicles movies before we see The Final Battle.

### Season 7

#### 2. He Knows You Did It

* **Fate-Bringer**: What? But that's impossible, I should've squashed him like a bug!
* **Dan**: Fate-Bringer, you foolish being. Don't you see? I am never alone. In fact, *nobody's* ever alone! With friends and family at everyone's side, anything is possible, including my chances of sending you to eternal damnation in Hell! But as for you, you fail believing in love and hope, and believing that all good things must die. Good things never die, Fate-Bringer, It's now time to end this once and for all!

#### 7. The Final Finale (or McNeese's Wedding)

* **Ashley**: You mean he's actually getting married to Martha?
* **Logan**: Yeah! We all know because we've seen him out on dates with proposal plans on the mind.
* **Dan**: It's true! Last Friday, when my Dad took me to Fuddruckers when Pizza Hut and Little Caesar's both *coincidentally* had to close due to repairs, I saw McNeese with Martha eating burgers with colored employees' limbs in them together, and then telling her about wanting to get married.
* **Ashley**: I thought McNeese hated proposal to women.
* **Logan**: Actually, Martha's his type! She's just like McNeese! She's racist, ageist, sexist, and ginger like McNeese! She also calls me a Kadvlok lover like McNeese. Both of them *really* need to get their minds straight, maybe take some Ritalin or go into shock therapy, or maybe both.
* **Ashley**: I see.
* **Emma**: And it's not just that one night at Fuddruckers Dan was talking about. Remember when I took a week off so my dad could attend a business trip in Azara a couple of weeks ago and took me and my mom?
* **Ashley**: Yeah, why?
* **Emma**: Well, you know how I told you about that mall in Azara City?
* **Ashley**: Wait. Are you saying that-
* **Emma**: Yes. I saw McNeese and Martha, visiting the Azara Mall, mocking El Kadsreian Islanders, on a date away from Greenhill!
* **Dan**: What? Two racist Americans visiting the greatest mall in the EKI? That’s crazy! At least they didn't go to Northland.
* **Logan**: It's also not just a date at an Azaran shopping center, I also saw them having dinner at Quiznos down at the mall downtown.
* **Tom**: It's also not at a Quiznos either! I saw them playing Just Prance 2 on the RS3 at his house!
* **Ashley**: Oh. My. God! When's the wedding?
* **Logan**: It's this Friday, at the community center in Harrison, Arkansas, their favorite town.
* **Tom**: Hold up! You sayin’ that I gotta go to a wedding in America’s most racist town, which is also the home of those freakin' ghosts?
* **Martha**: That's right, you damn coon!
* **Tom**: Hey!
* **McNeese**: You all better fuckin' listen up, same with you, Kadvlok lover Danny-boy. Me and the misses are getting married this Friday, and we're making you all come with us.
* **Martha**: Yeah, so we can fucking rub it in your pickaninny and white porch monkey faces.
* **Logan**: Wow, McNeese, it's about *time* you did something nice for us.
* **McNeese**: Yeah, well, I don't fuckin' care. You're coming with us whether you like it or not.

## Dumb Teacher: Re-Dumbened

### Season 1

#### 6. Dan's Wet Dreams

*(The scene cuts to Dan's home theater, where Dan, Choki, Logan, James and Tom are seen watching Transformation Academy, though the shot only features them. Audio from the Transformation Academy episode, "勝者はすべてを取る！天使の悪魔との決闘 (Winner take all! Duel with the Angelic Devil)", can be heard playing.*

* **Eiji Fukisawa**: *(off-screen)* What? You've been working for the Anti-Shifter League? You're a shapeshifter, Nathani! Do you not realize how many shifters the League has tortured or murdered? Who knows what Shonugate might do to you once your plan succeeds. What if your utopia isn't what you imagine it to be?

*(A man can be heard snickering maniacally;* *a rising laser beam can be heard)*

* **Nathani Walct**: It's not how I imagine it, silly pup. It's how I *picture* it!

*(A blast of energy can be heard as Nathani snickers for 2 seconds)*

* **Eiji**: *(in Japanese; unsubbed)* What the? *(a zap of energy can be heard as Eiji screams for 2 seconds before grunting in a struggle)* What? He is capable of magic like Korowa?
* **Nathani Walct**: *(in English)* Aww, you poor, juvenile, little dog. You and your owner don't know what I am truly capable of.

*(Choki begins talking as the audio continues to play)*

* **Choki**: I just love how well kadsreanime brings the English and Japanese languages together. Beats crappy dubbing, even though this show is also dubbed.
* **Dan**: Yeah.*(briefly inhales through his teeth)* That's true, Choke, but, to be completely honest, have you ever felt like Aramaki and Arisawa have gotten a little... "garish" since this anime ended?
* **Choki**: How garish have they gotten?
* **Dan**: Well, to put it simply in these evidences, have you noticed how the main antagonist of the Flight of the Angelic Devils arc is one of the only characters in the anime that speaks English in its original Japanese-language version? That's a garish example of Aramasawa being garish.
* **Logan**: I agree, man. I mean, they first started being garish when their anime adapation of The Traveller came out two months after TA ended, and have you also noticed that all of Aramaki and Arisawa's creations are produced alongside Toei's El Kadsreian Islands division? That's a predominant example of their garishness.
* **James**: Yeah! Can't they afford another company to distribute their collaborations *other* than Toei EKI? That's so garish of them!
* **Dan**: I agree! But, to be honest, we still like those two, putting their garishness beside. I mean, their Fundzee campaign for Moonlight just ended last year, and the final trailer dropped last week. To be honest, that movie looks good. Even better, it's actually based on an unreleased novel written by Aramaki and his comatose sister. She's always wanted to be an author.
* **Tom**: Really? That's awesome! It may be coming out on Netflix in the US other countries, but I hear it's being released theatrically in Japan and the El Kadsreian Islands. We should see that movie in either one of those countries when that film comes out in September, somewhere like Capulco or Tokyo.
* **Choki**: Honestly, I agree with Aramaki and Arisawa being garish, but that sounds like a plan. I. *Love.* Films based on unreleased works.
* **Dan**: Yeah. Especially if it's from the princes of kadsreanime.

### Season 2

#### 3. NiFTy Business

* **Dan**: Now, if you also must know, I've also made hentai NFTs to appeal to anime-simping perverts. *(Dan shows Cheryl his hentai NFTs as the camera cuts to a shot of Dan and Cheryl behind Dan's laptop)* This one features Laudia and Moonlight having sex with each other while they are both dressed as Leela and the Fourth Doctor respectively, *(clicks to next one)* this one is the same thing, except they're both respectively dressed as Lindsay Smith and William Benter, *(clicks to next one)* same thing, dressed respectively as Linda Grundy and Ryu Judoku, *(clicks to final one)* *and* same thing, dressed respectively as Gwen Stacy and Miles Morales.
* **Cheryl**: Initially, I don't care if you make pornographic material, but what show do Laudia and Moonlight come from? Are they new villains in Team Aqua?
* **Dan**: What? No! They’re characters from a Netflix anime movie Aramaki and Arisawa crowdfunded. You wouldn't understand because you've never lived like me.
* **Cheryl**: What?
* **Dan**: An Elkadsreophile, basically.
* **Cheryl**: Danny-kins! Just because I watch a lot of TV, doesn't mean I prefe- *(a 2-second pause occurs)* Actually, I have a better idea.
* **Dan**: What is it?
* **Cheryl**: This is what I'm gonna do. I'm going to be an Elkadsreophile, just like you, for three months straight.
* **Dan**: Okay, and if you win?
* **Cheryl**: I get to keep half of your business' funds in my bank account, and maybe buy and sell stocks with that money.