The Vectronr Filibuster

The Vectronr Filibuster was a record-long sermon delivered by pastor Vectronr on September 9th, 2023. During this filibuster, Vectronr read out the entire known history of Elliom, including the history of every current Elliomician citizen as well as their live and accurate location with precision. During this filibuster, Vectronr reportedly urinated into the same bucket over 10 times, resulting in the bucket overflowing into the church of Doshism. Vec's senile ass did not notice this, however; he continued to read despite the imminent and biohazardous emergency leaking from his bowels and puddling near the feet of his obedient and devoted followers. One follower, Masons, describes this occurrence beautifully: "Boogy Boogy im gonna suck your brell foot! Bowman brell suck a brell umbrella brell foot".

Here is a chatgpt story about a pig eating celery during a bank robbery:

Once upon a time in the quiet, picturesque town of Willowbrook, there was an unassuming pig named Percy. Percy was not your ordinary pig; he was a pig with refined tastes and a peculiar fondness for vegetables, particularly celery. While other pigs in the town wallowed in mud and munched on whatever scraps they could find, Percy dined on gourmet greens he cultivated in a secret garden tucked away behind his cozy little barn.

One sunny morning, Percy woke up to a peculiar commotion in the distance. The normally tranquil town of Willowbrook was buzzing with excitement. It wasn't the usual hustle and bustle of the local farmers' market or children playing in the fields. No, this was different. Percy's sensitive piggy ears picked up on the distant sirens of approaching police cars and the faint sound of shouting.

With a snort of curiosity, Percy waddled out of his barn, his plump belly swaying from side to side. As he rounded the corner, his beady eyes widened at the sight before him. There, right in the heart of Willowbrook, stood the First National Bank, surrounded by flashing police lights and a small crowd of onlookers.

Percy's heart raced, and his piggy mind raced even faster. He couldn't resist the allure of adventure. There was something about the thrill in the air that intrigued him. And then, as if the universe itself had conspired to bring together the most unlikely of events, he spotted it—a crate of fresh celery sticks on the back of a delivery truck parked nearby.

Percy's mouth watered, and his trotters twitched with excitement. In his little piggy heart, a plan began to form. Ignoring the chaos around him, Percy snuck closer to the delivery truck. His nimble hooves climbed onto the back and, with a triumphant oink, he opened the crate and pulled out a crisp, green celery stick.

Meanwhile, inside the bank, the robbery was unfolding. A group of masked robbers had stormed in, demanding cash and jewelry from the terrified bank employees and customers. But Percy, the celery-loving pig, was not one to be deterred by danger or the law.

As he chomped away on his celery stick, Percy waddled into the bank. The robbers, distracted by their ill-gotten gains, didn't notice the portly pig until it was too late. Percy oinked loudly, and all eyes turned to him.

"What the heck is a pig doing here?" one of the robbers exclaimed.

Percy, feeling brave and surprisingly articulate, oinked once more and pointed his celery stick at the robbers. He seemed to be saying, "You better behave yourselves!"

The robbers were baffled and bewildered. They had never encountered a situation like this. Instead of drawing their guns, they stood frozen, staring at the audacious pig.

Meanwhile, the police outside had surrounded the bank, ready to storm in. They watched in disbelief as the bank robbers were being held at bay by a determined pig and his celery stick.

After a tense standoff, the robbers, unable to deal with the unexpected turn of events, dropped their loot and made a hasty escape. Percy had single-handedly thwarted a bank robbery with nothing but his love for celery and his unwavering determination.

The townsfolk cheered and celebrated Percy's heroics. He became a local legend, known as "Percy the Piggy Protector of Willowbrook." The police rewarded him with a lifetime supply of celery, which he devoured with great delight, sharing some with his fellow pigs, who now looked up to him in admiration.

And so, in the most unlikely of circumstances, Percy the pig had not only saved the day but also ensured that the town of Willowbrook remained the peaceful and charming place he loved, where he could enjoy his beloved celery in peace.