A Pirate I Was Meant To Be (Peter Pan Version)

"I've got to get the map back or we'll never save Wendy!" cried Peter Pan. He turned to his crew members in frustration. "Thanks, guys. You were a world of help back there."

"A rousing sea battle it was, captain!" said his friend Jane Darling gruffly.

"Aye." said John Darling. "And it reminds me of a song. He, Jane and Michael got to their feet and began to dance.

John: We're a band of vicious pirates!

Jane: A sailing out to sea!

Michael: When you hear our gentle singing...

John: You'll be sure to turn and flee!

Peter: Oh, this is just ridiculous.

Peter: Come on, men! We've got to recover that map!

Michael: That pirate will be done for, when he falls into our trap.

Michael: We're a club of tuneful rovers!

John: We can sing in every clef!

Jane: We can even hit the high notes!

John: It's just too bad we're tone deaf!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!

Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Peter: Let's go defeat that evil pirate!

Jane: We know he's sure to lose, ´cause we know just where to fire at!

Jane: We're thieving balladeers.

John: A gang of cutthroat mugs.

Michael: To fight us off, you don't need guns!

Jane: Just jolly good ear plugs!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Peter: All right, crew, let's get to work!

John: Our vocation is a thing we love, a thing we'd never shirk.

John: We'll fight you in the harbor.

Michael: We'll battle you on land.

Jane: When you meet singing pirates...

Peter: They'll be more than you can stand.

Michael: Oh! Ha ha ha! That was a good one!

Peter: No, it wasn't.

Peter: No time for song! We've got to move!

Michael: The battle will be long, but our courage we will prove.

Michael: We're a pack a´ scurvy sea dogs.

John: Have we pity? Not a dram!

Jane: We all eat roasted garlic...

John: ...then sing from the diaphragm!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Peter: Less singing, more sailing.

Jane: When we defeat our wicked foe, his ship he will be bailing!

Michael: If ye try ta fight us...

John: ...you will get a nasty whackin´!

Jane: If you disrespect our singing´...

Michael: ...we will feed ya to a kraken!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Peter: I´m getting so sick of you guys and your rhyming.

John: We´re ready to set sail, through the cannons need a priming.

Jane: We're troublesome corsairs!

Michael: And we've come to steal your treasures!

John: We would shoot you on the downbeat...

Jane: ...but we have to rest five measures.

(Peter facepalms)

All: A pirate I was meant to be!

Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Peter: Stop! Stop! Stop!

Michael: The brass is what we'll polish and the deck is what we'll mop.

Peter: You say you're nasty pirates...

...scheming, thieving, bad bushwhackers?

From what I've seen I tell you...

You're not pirates! You're just slack--!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!

Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Peter: We'll surely avoid scurvy if we all eat an orange.

Jane: And...!

...Um...

Michael: Well...

John: ...Err...

(Peter grins in amusement)

Michael: Door hinge?

Jane: No, no...

Michael: Guess the song's over, then.

John: Guess so.

Jane: Okay, back to work.

Peter: Well gee. I feel a little guilty, now.