A Story That Isn't About Socks

Illustrated by Tim Heitz

"**A Story That Isn't About Socks**" is the twenty-fifth chapter of *Wayside School Is Falling Down*.

## Synopsis

Stephen wears an uncomfortable suit to look important on picture day, in contrast to his classmates who dress in sillier outfits.

## Plot

The chapter opens on picture day, as everyone shows up to class in their best clothes. Stephen shows up in a classy grey three-piece suit, a white dress shirt, hard black shoes, and a red and gold striped tie. While his outfit is very handsome, the other students laugh at him. Bebe Gunn, who's wearing yellow shorts, a red shirt with white polka dots, and a floppy green hat, remarks he has a history of wearing silly costumes, but that is his silliest one yet. Mrs. Jewls rings her bell for everyone to sit down, but Stephen remains standing. Maurecia, who is wearing a black and white striped bikini, remarks that his jacket is the same color as his pants, but Stephen corrects her, noting they are supposed to be the same color, and that his pants are actually called trousers. Maurecia questions if Stephen can go swimming in his suit, like she can in hers, but Stephen remarks he can't. Mrs. Jewls assures Stephen's shirt is good for other things, and Stephen says it is good for standing around and looking important.

Todd, who is wearing white shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, and sunglasses, asks if Stephen can sit and look important in the suit, but Stephen remarks he can't, or else it might get wrinkled. Deedee, who is wearing a black night shirt that comes down to her knees with a red heart in the middle and "LOVE GODDESS" written above in gold and silver letters, takes note of Stephen's shoes, and notes how shiny and hard they are, and questions if they are good for playing kickball, but Stephen remarks that he can't run in them and they hurt to wear, but states he has to be uncomfortable to look important.

Paul, who is wearing his cowboy-and-Indian pajamas, takes note of his tie, and questions what it is for, wondering if it holds his shirt on or keeps his neck warm. Stephen remarks that it chokes him, and the more it chokes him, the better it looks. He pulls the tie tighter, and Paul remarks he does look more handsome. Stephen pulls it even tighter, and asks how he looks. D.J., who is wearing a toga made from his bedsheet, remarks he looks great, and asks if he can pull it tighter. Stephen pulls it even tighter, and D.J. remarks that Stephen looks very important. The kids encourage Stephen to tighten his tie even more, which he does, which makes him suffocate, until he ends up pulling it so tight, it snaps it in half, much to the other kids' disappointment. Stephen worries he won't look very important anymore, but Mrs. Jewls, who is wearing a grass skirt and flowered tank top, remarks it's not on the outside what counts, it's what's underneath that counts, so to be great and important, he should wear expensive underwear.

## Characters

* Stephen
* Bebe Gunn
* Mrs. Jewls
* Maurecia
* Todd
* Deedee
* Paul
* D.J.

## Trivia

* The title of this chapter references "Another Story About Socks".
	+ True to the title, despite *numerous* pieces of other clothing being discussed, socks are not mentioned at any other point in the chapter.
* Some of the illustrations for this chapter don't match the descriptions of the class's outfits.
	+ In Schick's illustration, Deedee's shirt is missing the words "LOVE GODDESS" on it.
	+ In McCauley's illustration, Mrs. Jewl's tank top is plain instead of flowered.
	+ In Allen's illustration, Maurecia's bikini is plain and not striped.

## Gallery

Joel Schick illustrationAdam McCauley illustration
### Foreign editions

Peter Allen illustration (UK)Satoshi Kitamura illustration (Japan)