Episode 0: The Team Up

The Team Up is the Health Hits Experience pre-show oneshot. The team is recruited by shady gangster Dev Selimas to steal a prototype warship from the Zalarian Empire.

## **Synopsis**

> Welcome to Health Hits Experience! Keep your arms and hands inside the ride at all times.
>
> Britty Lea

Cyrus is drinking alone in a crowded cantina on Bolgon. This is one of his usual spots and he is known to the staff. A drunken Zalarian tries to pick a fight and Cyrus settles the argument with a pointed discussion about manners. Unfortunately the Zalarian's comrades arrive and, not appreciating Cyrus' diplomatic techniques, try to resume the fight with Cyrus. Cyrus dispatches them easily, throwing at least one through the window of the establishment. As Cyrus resumes his place at the bar, he is approached by a translucent blob alien who offers him a job.

Flux is in the process of raiding a Zalarian supply depot. His team has heard of a shipment of magic crystals soon to pass through this depot and they mean to steal them. The shipment is late and the team resolves to steal the next ship that arrives rather than wait around. Flux bombs the ship and the team creates a distraction, but the Zalarians are more coordinated than expected. The rest of the team is captured or killed and Flux abandons them to their fate, escaping with anything he can carry. As Flux catches his breath after his escape, he is approached by the same translucent blob alien, also offering him a job.

P.E.A.R.L. is in the midst of a ship-to-ship battle taking place over an unnamed planet's capital city. The ship P.E.A.R.L. is standing on tilts, sending her skittering over the side of the ship. She manages to hang on, but before the crew can reach out and drag her back up, the ship is hit again. P.E.A.R.L. fires a firebolt into the enemy cannon, which cause the cannon and the ship bearing it to explode. P.E.A.R.L.'s grip fails and she falls to the city below. A week passes, and P.E.A.R.L. is rebooted in a repair facility to find the same translucent blob alien speaking to her as well.

Heironymous is also drinking alone in a crowded bar, but not the same bar as Cyrus. He is holding his base form. Heironymous is approached by Dev Selimas, a translucent green and orange alien seen in the previous three vignettes. Dev explains that he needs a crew to recapture a ship that the Zalarian Empire has stolen from him: the Scimitar. He already has the crew, he just needs a leader. Heironymous negotiates triple the going rate for himself and double the going rate for the crew, but ultimately accepts the job.

The crew meets up for the first time in a hangar adjacent to the hangar containing the Scimitar on the planet Bolgon. Heironymous appears disguised as grizzled Army veteran, which impresses no one. The crew reviews their roles and capabilities and work out a plan to capture the Scimitar back from the Zalarians. Flux repairs a broken prototype OURA scanner and Cyrus captures a Zalarian goon to steal his OURA. Heironymous disguises himself as said goon and takes Flux in as a prisoner.

The Zalarians buy this ruse. As Heironymous and Flux board the Scimitar, P.E.A.R.L. creates a distraction which enables Cyrus to join them aboard. Flux disables the security overrides and what with one thing and another the crew is able to make safely away with the Scimitar.
The crew discusses next steps and briefly consider running off with the Scimitar rather than returning it to Dev. However, a deal is a a deal. The handoff is to take place at high noon on Bolgon's moon Rega.

Upon arrival, Dev is nowhere to be found. While investigating the area, Flux discovers a bomb placed under the floor of the boat house. They've been double crossed. The crew manages to get out in time before the boat house explodes and they watch helplessly as the Scimitar flies away, leaving them broke and stranded.

They adjourn to one of Rega's small towns to find a way off of the moon. The crew discovers an old ship garage with a singular old ship inside: the Old Bessie. Cyrus trades a few trinkets for the vessel and Flux is able to get her started. The crew leave Rega with a new mission: revenge on Dev Selimas.

## **Quotations**

* **Flux**: "I mean, I'm not the best at being subtle about it, but I've got some things I can do."

* **Heironymous**: "I kinda specialize in not being found."

* **P.E.A.R.L.**: "Please refrain from using profanity."

* **P.E.A.R.L.**: "Trying is all we can do."

* **Flux**: "Brains matter for a lot but it sort of depends what you apply them for."

* **Heironymous**: "That is because you are what we call a 'noob'."

* **Cyrus**: "I'll just say, I do not do stealth. I do not do it."

* **Flux**: "Everything tastes weird in space."

* **Flux**: "This thing’s missing one of the most important things a ship can possibly have. I mean cloaking, yeah, but coffee, coffee maker."

* **P.E.A.R.L.**: "I don't breathe. Or sleep. Or eat."

* **Robin**: "Does the minivan have guns?"

## **Trivia**

* Zalarians having New York accents is not canon, but is instead a bit that never truly dies.
* The "going rate" for jobs like this is 20,000 trite.
* This one-shot was pre-recorded and was the last aired recording before the campaign began in earnest.