How I'm Feeling Now

## Singles from *how i'm feeling now*

1. "Forever"
Released: April 9, 2020
2. "Claws"
Released: April 23, 2020
3. "I Finally Understand"
Released: May 9, 2020
4. "Enemy" (promotional single)
Released: May 13, 2020

***How I’m Feeling Now*** (on cover and visual promotion stylized in all caps, in online streaming services stylized in all lowercase) is the fourth studio album by English singer and songwriter Charli XCX. The album was released on May 15th, 2020. It was recorded during the course of one month during the COVID-19 worldwide pandemic.

## Background

On April 3rd, 2020, a PDF file was supposedly leaked with album details on the Reddit and LanaBoards. It originally was seen as a joke but it seemed to gain legitimacy when the file was the first hint of the album title, Charli and Atlantic Records retweeted the image of the file once it was posted by FckyeahCharli on Twitter.

On April 5th, she blacked out her Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Tik Tok accounts, and replaced her profile picture with the hole emoji. On April 6th, Charli announced on a Zoom call with 1000 fans details about How I’m Feeling Now. Hours later, she posted screenshots of conversations with A. G. Cook, Dylan Brady, and BJ Burton on Instagram Stories and Twitter. Where it was revealed that the first single is called "Forever" and it will be released on April 13th. She also said that she wanted to "do Janet album in September into a quicker album in December", however, it's unclear what she meant by saying that. She later, on another Zoom conference she said she meant that she was originally going to put another album in May that was inspired by Janet Jackson's music, but she delayed it because of the circumstances of quarantine.

On April 7th she shared the first snippets of Forever, including an instrumental demo, an A.G. Cook demo, and the outro of the song on Instagram Live, along with two other snippets of an unknown track on her stories. She also revealed herself writing lyrics, posting conversations with Laura Les. Forever was released on April 9th.

On April 10th Charli shared new snippets of new songs for the album called "Claws", "Enemy", "7 Years" and "Detonate". She then asked via Twitter what of those four songs should she release, and announced that "Claws" won and that it will be released next week. The song ended up being released on April 23rd. That same day (April 10th), she made a new episode of her radio show, The Candy Shop, where she played two new demos, the first one being "Breathe Out", and the other one being an unnamed demo called "KM\_TM Demo" with production by Sega Bodega, the song is speculated to be called "Asleep". On April 15th, she uploaded a picture of different music plans, such as writing over a Palmistry beat (working title as "Where U At", ended up being I Finally Understand), a Sega Bodega beat, an A.G. Cook one, as well as a Dylan Brady and Nico one. Nömak was also on the list but erased out.

On April 17th, Charli uploaded herself singing new lyrics for an old song by A. G. Cook. The song turned out to be "party4u", a snippet of the new version of the song was leaked by Charli on Reddit on April 20th , that same day Charli posted on Twitter a clip of the song.Then that day Charli shared a new song called anthem (originally intended to be called either "Generation" or "Project XCX"), with production by Dylan and Danny L Harle. On April 24th, after Claws was finally released, Charli posted herself singing to a new song titled "If I Cried", produced by Jikuroux.

Charli confirmed the existence of new songs for the album called "pictures in my mind" and "pink diamond" and also confirmed that other songs that were already previewed will be on the album on April 30th, as well as showing a snippet for Pictures In My Mind. On May 2nd Charli stated that I Finally Understand will be released on May 7th as the last single for the album. Charli played snippets for Pink Diamond, If I Cried, and I Finally Understand.  She also revealed the number of songs being considered for the album, originally eleven tracks , but on May 9th, she considered 3 new songs; "2hot", "i hate all this gravity" and a currently nameless track ("C2.0").  Later that day, she joined a streaming party made by fans on Zoom, where she played "C.20", on the stream, she said that the file name is "Click 2.0" and said it was just a demo, and it was a Click demo which served as a 'remix' of it, Kim Petras' vocals were chopped and sprinkled throughout the song.  On May 11th, Charli finally confirmed 11 tracks for the album.

 Charli finally ended mixing and finishing the album with help of Geoff Swan on May 12th, three days before the album release. The tracklist was revealed by Charli on May 13th. On May 15th, the album was released worldwide on all streaming platforms.

The era for the album officially ended on October 24th, 2021, after the How I'm Feeling Now Tour was announced and the three shows that were made in promotion for the album were concluded.

### Special Drop Version

On May 22nd, 2020, Charli officially released the stems for each song off the album, asking fans to send remixes, saying she would pick her favorites and put them on an "special drop", that would also include demos of songs and tracks that didn't make the cut on the standart version.

### Cover Art

On April 7th, Charli said that the album cover will be photographed by Huck. On May 10th, Charli shot the album artwork, photographed by herself.  The album cover is her laying down on her bed taking a picture of herself in the mirror.

## Theme

This is Charli XCX's "quarantine album", due to the COVID-19 worldwide pandemic, she completely recorded this project inside her house, with the online help of her friends and producers. Lyrically, Charli called this album her most positive project to date, she stated this album is her “most collaborative project ever” and has called on fans to send her beats and help her with other things, she also stated that she will be streaming her producing process with anyone who wants to watch. On April 7th, Charli said the tone of the album and a lot of the lyrics on the album are going to be about the relationship with her boyfriend Huck Kwong. On May 13th, Charli talked about the album on Instagram, saying: *"I can’t believe How I'm Feeling Now is out this Friday!! this whole process has been so incredible & I’m so happy you’ve all been such a crucial part of the creative process! co-writing verse 2 of “anthems” on insta live, making the “forever” video together from all your amazing clips, your green screen versions of “claws”, the remixes & edits you made using the stems I dropped (& playing them on my Apple Music show!), deciding which photos to use as a basis for the artworks, collecting your own amazing artworks you’ve been making, helping me with production decisions & so much more... i couldn’t have made this album without you! howimfeelingnowinbox@gmail.com has been bombarded with wild beats, artwork & ideas & it’s been so inspiring going through it all. I’ve discovered FARCE, Whyetc, BVXTR, Jikuroux & so many new and v talented producers/writers. i’ve also been lucky enough to collaborate with visual artists like Naked Cherry, Polygon 1993 & lots of others. This process has introduced me to new work & I’m so grateful for that. [...] I can’t believe this album is nearly out! We did it! 🤍".*

## Critical Reception

The reception of the album has been in general, very positive. Independent gave the album four stars out of four, calling it "a high-voltage assault on the senses”.  Backseat Mafia gave the album a 9/10, saying " yet another masterful album with absolutely incredible production value, a terrific flow, and smart lyrical content."  The album debuted with a 84 score on Metacritics. It received a perfect 5 star rating on The Telegraph, a 91 in Variety and a 9/10 on Clash Music.

## Merchandise

### Clothing

On May 5th, 2020, she said on Instagram live that she will be working on new merchandise for the album,  On May 12th, she uploaded pictures of a How I'm Feeling Now shirt, saying it will be able on May 15th when the album releases, and that 100% of the earnings will go to L.A. Alliance Charity for the COVID-19 pandemic.

### Book

On May 13th, 2020, Charli announced she will be making a book of fanarts and lyrics for the album. The earnings of the book are going for charity to LA Alliance. She said: *"[...] I’ve decided I really want to summarize & continue the creative process surrounding #howimfeelingnow with a book which will document the art all of us have been making alongside this project. i’d love to include your own artworks/poems/writings within this book, whether they were created during lockdown or in response to the album process. I think it’s so cool that this journey of creativity can constantly evolve - even once the music is out. so tag me in your creations, send stuff to the email above & watch out in case i slide into ur DMs lol. here’s a few sample pages form the book, which will go on pre order on Friday (even though it will still be in the process of being made: I want to keep collecting your work for a while). All profits generated from this book will go to the charity LA Alliance, who advocate for the homeless community in LA, as will all profits generated from other new merch items."*

## Unreleased Ideas

### Outtakes

* 2hot (Prod. Unknown)
* breathe out (Prod. BJ Burton)
* if i cried (Prod. Jikuroux)
* i hate all this gravity (Prod. Unknown)

### Demos

* KM\_MT (Demo with Sega Bodega's vocals that Charli played on The Candy Shop)
* Didn't Want 2 (Instrumental demo by Lonely Speck that Charli played on The Candy Shop)

## Videos

### Making the Album

Charli XCX - "how i'm feeling now" announcementCharli XCX - how i’m feeling now making the album, week 1Charli XCX - how i’m feeling now making the album, week 2Charli XCX - how i’m feeling now making the album, week 3
### Live Updates

Charli XCX - how i'm feeling now updateCharli XCX - how i'm feeling now update twoCharli XCX - how i'm feeling now update threeCharli XCX - how i'm feeling now update four
## Trivia

* Laura Les and Nömak were originally intended to be part of the album production.
* This is the Charli album that took the shortest to finish, only 39 days.
* The standard version of Sucker and How I'm Feeling Now are the only albums with no featured artist.
* This is the only Charli album without a Parental Advisory label.
* "Visions" was originally announced as "Pictures In My Mind" before How I'm Feeling Now was released.
* Charli XCX wanted to collaborate with Caroline Polachek, Grimes, Rebecca Black & Sega Bodega on the album.
* This is the only album that is styled in lowercase letters.

## References

1. ↑ https://www.reddit.com/r/xcxheads/comments/fud1t6/quarantine\_album\_announcement\_leak\_pw\_qs49x5lixz4/
2. ↑ https://twitter.com/FckyeahCharli/status/1246712344689901568
3. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1247322839146881024
4. ↑ https://twitter.com/FckyeahCharli/status/1247318880739098631
5. ↑ https://twitter.com/FckyeahCharli/status/1247622603377905664
6. ↑ https://twitter.com/FckyeahCharli/status/1247654119894142977
7. ↑ https://twitter.com/FckyeahCharli/status/1248738826446610432
8. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1248769140191408128
9. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1249066384278970368
10. ↑ https://twitter.com/FckyeahCharli/status/1250478911122702344
11. ↑ https://twitter.com/FckyeahCharli/status/1251009704391847937
12. ↑ https://www.reddit.com/r/xcxheads/comments/g4jqah/just\_found\_thisparty\_4\_u\_partial\_track\_in\_full/
13. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1252305193343033344
14. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1256044427874713602?s=20
15. ↑ https://twitter.com/FckyeahCharli/status/1252376226422874113
16. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1256027057148084230
17. ↑ https://www.instagram.com/p/B\_nGPRRnOeN/
18. ↑ https://twitter.com/FckyeahCharli/status/1257755881716023296
19. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1258177714776768513
20. ↑ https://www.instagram.com/p/B\_-zfNOnQNg/
21. ↑ https://twitter.com/gwynethpalthoe\_/status/1259270868909412352
22. ↑ https://twitter.com/gwynethpalthoe\_/status/1259276684492189698
23. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1259991104566382592
24. ↑ https://twitter.com/FckyeahCharli/status/1260232563412647937
25. ↑ https://twitter.com/bodyofmyown/status/1260255567114878976
26. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1452318940840013829
27. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1263915533839110144
28. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1259551504236593152
29. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDlubOmyZOs&t=0s
30. ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/reviews/charlie-xcx-how-im-feeling-now-album-review-lockdown-a9515111.html
31. ↑ https://www.backseatmafia.com/album-review-charli-xcx-how-im-feeling-now/
32. ↑ https://www.telegraph.co.uk/music/what-to-listen-to/charli-xcx-feeling-now-review-ultra-plastic-pop-becomes-cutting/
33. ↑ https://www.clashmusic.com/reviews/charli-xcx-how-im-feeling-now
34. ↑ https://twitter.com/FckyeahCharli/status/1257764345116835840
35. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1260244070162591744
36. ↑ https://twitter.com/charli\_xcx/status/1260298473338843137