Dumb Dumbwaiter

## **Synopsis:**

The girls are having a girls-only party together on the top floor of an apartment building. When Yadina is called to meet Hornet and Mothra at the supermarket, she and the other girls load into the dumbwaiter. However, when they get in, it drops significantly, trapping them. Now June has to get the guys (who are having a guys-only party on the bottom floor) to help get them out.

## **Transcript:**

* (It starts with Miss Sally who is singing while stacking cans.)

**[Miss Sally]**

I’m a can stacker

I’m a can stacker

I’m a can stacker

I’m a can stacker

* (Just as she picks up the last can, the entire thing comes crashing down.)
* Miss Sally: Oh great. Well, I do like building pyramids. Time to start over I guess.

**[Miss Sally]**

I’m a can stacker

I’m a can stacker...

* (The scene cuts to Yadina having a party with her fellow females, doing all sorts of feminine activities like hair combing stunts)
* January; Ooh! This is nice - no boys, just us girls!
* Mandy: I agree. Thanks a lot for inviting us up, Yadina.
* Susie: Yeah, this girl stuff is fun!
* Yadina: No problem, guys - uh, I mean, girls! I’m having a blast, too!
* Mandy: Ooh, Yadina, that comb is so pretty, pretty, pretty! Can I have it? Can I? Can I? *Can I?*
* Yadina: Sorry, Mandy, this is my emergency comb. I need to hold on to it in case of -
* Girls: [Sing-song] *Hair-mergencies!*
* Yadina: You guys so get me.
* Mandy: I don’t! I just want the comb!
* (Mandy attempts to grab it, only for Yadina to pull it away, sending Mandy flying into a wall.)
* Piranhaconda: Oh, great.
* Yadina: I can’t give up my emergency comb, Mandy. Okay, suppose I’m walking down the street when suddenly a gust of wind comes out of nowhere and totally messes up my hair! Then, a minute later, I happen to see my reflection in a storefront window. *What the what?!* Monster hair alert! Emergency comb!
* Girls: Oh!
* Yadina: Bad hair day averted. See?
* Mandy: Oh! Uh-huh! So, can I have it?
* Yadina: Uh... no.
* (Everyone else began laughing before Mandy joined in. Coach Crab could hear their noise.)
* Coach: These kids and their music! They have no appreciation of the classics.
* (Meanwhile, Xavier and the boys were lounging around with nothing to do on the bottom floor.)
* Sharktopus: [Sigh] Man, this is the life, ain’t it? No bossy girls around to tell us what to do,
* Xavier: Yep!
* Brad: Yes. Indeed, this *ain’t* the life, of this I am certain. Bossy or not, I do miss the girls.
* Xavier: Why?
* Brad: Why, you ask? [Chuckle] Well, I, uh... It’s - well - I don’t why, okay? It just seemed like the right thing to say! For a moment, I wished to appear sensitive and caring! Is that so wrong?
* Slim: No?
* Sharktopus: Forget about the sensitive stuff, Brad. I mean, if the girls were here, could I do this?
* (Sharktopus unleashes a disgusting belch, knocking things back. The belch reaches Miss Sally.)
* Miss Sally: Stacky stack sta-
* (The belch was powerful enough to knock down the whole pyramid.)
* Carter: You definitely can’t do that.
* Cake: That’s for sure.
* Sharktopus: Not without getting the stink-eye from them!
* Xavier: Yep!
* Sharktopus: Today’s the day we do what we want to do! Today’s the day for... guy stuff!
* (Sharktopus claps two of his tentacles, sending them into a song fantasy.)

**[Sharktopus]**

If you’re a guy

You’re someone who’s the best

Say so long and goodbye

To those feminine pests

**[Brad]**

If you’re a guy

You can spend all your time

In a coat and a tie

Singing lyrics that,..

**Brad**: Sound very good with the other lyrics. Oh, what can I say? Musical theatre was never my strong suit.

**[Xavier]**

If you’re a guy

You don’t need any girls

Come on and let’s try

To do some manly dance twirls

**Sharktopus**: Hwah!

**Xavier**: Oh yeah!

**Brad**: Whoa! Wrong way!

**[Carter]**

You can burp without fear

**[David]**

You can scratch it when it itches

**[Cake]**

You can wiggle your rear

**[Brad]**

In your stylish new trousers

**Carter**: What?

**Brad**: I tried to tell you!

**[Christian and Slim]**

Who needs (**Brad**: Who needs)

Those girls (**Brad**: Those girls)

They’re bossy (**Brad**: So bossy!)

And gross (**Brad**: But they smell nice!)

**[All]**

If you’re a guy

You’re someone

With the most!

* (Sharktopus claps two of his tentacles again, ending the fantasy).
* Brad: \*Yawns\*
* Sharktopus: I wonder what the girls are doing?
* (It cuts to the girls.)
* Yadina; Who wants more pop- corn. Hey, who ate all the popcorn?
* June: (Mouth full) Oops, sorry!
* (Suddenly, Yadina’s phone rings.)
* Hornet: Yadina?
* Yadina: Oh. Hi, Hornet. What’s up?
* Hornet: Are you kidding me? Our flash mob starts in fifteen minutes! You know, the one we’ve spent the last three weeks practicing on?
* Yadina: Oh my gosh, Hornet! I totally spaced on that!
* Hornet: Well, get on down to the frozen food aisle at the grocery store. I don’t want a repeat of our last flash mob.
* (A flashback shows Hornet dancing alone at the library.)
* Librarian: Shh!
* Hornet: [Sighs]
* (Hornet turns off the music and leaves as the flashback ends.)
* Hornet; [Shudders]
* Yadina: Don’t worry, Hornet. I’ll be right there. [Beep] Sorry, girls, but we have to cut this short.
* Girls: [Groan]
* Yadina: I know, I know. We’ll do it again real soon. Hey, anybody seen my comb?
* Mandy: Uh, hehehe! How’d that get there?
* (Suddenly, Yadina’s phone rings again.)
* Mothra: Yadina, where are you?
* Yadina: Well, hello to you too, Mothra.
* Mothra: You’ve got to get here. Hornet invited more people, but I’m afraid it’s just gonna be me, her, and a bunch of frozen pizzas.
* Yadina: Okay, okay! [Beep] Hurry, everyone, into the dumbwaiter.
* (January notices popcorn on the carpet and eats it.)
* January: Mmm, carpet popcorn.
* Yadina: Come on, January!
* (January walks towards the dumbwaiter where everyone else was).
* Dumbwaiter: [Shaking]
* (Suddenly, one the dumbwaiter’s ropes snaps, making them fall down partially. The others scream before it finally stops.)
* January: Is everyone okay?
* Yadina: Yes, except for one little thing... we’re trapped! This is *so* not good! I don’t want to start counting the ways this‘ll get me in trouble.
* Piranhaconda: Yeah. First, your brother will get mad at you for even getting in this contraption.
* Living Donut: And second, Miss Sally will get mad at you for taking the Sea Kids out of the school.
* Yadina: Hey, I said I *don’t* want to start counting the ways! I’ll call someone to get us out.
* (Yadina reaches for her phone, but it was not there.)
* Yadina: Uh, where’s my phone? Oh, no - I left it on the bed!
* Susie: Oh well, that’s great.
* (June freaks out)
* June: January! January! JANUARY!
* Yadina: Uh, what’s wrong with her?
* Melissa: She needs her sister.
* June: It’s not just *that*! I also need space! I need space above me, and below me, and all around me; and I don’t have space all around me! And that’s *baaad* because... I’M A SPACE CRAB!
* Night Cap: Calm down, June. We’ll be out of here soon. Right, Yadina?
* Yadina: Uh... Yeah, sure! Of course, Night Cap! January!
* January: Hi, I’m still here!
* Yadina: Can you try pulling on the rope? Maybe you can bring us back up.
* January: Okay! Don’t go anywhere!
* Yadina: Don’t go anywhere?
* Susie: Uh, yeah, okay!
* Mandy: Sure, we can do that.
* Night Cap: Where does she think we can go?
* Melissa: Just ignore it.
* Living Donut: I hate this enclosed space.
* (January tries pulling on the rope without succession. She soon realizes the rope was tangled and knotted up.)
* January: It’s stuck!
* Yadina: This is all my fault. It took 2 trips to bring us all up, but I must‘ve overloaded it to take us back down!
* Night Cap: Oh, that’s okay, Yadina. You just didn’t wanna be late for your splash knob.
* Yadina: My wha-? Oh, you mean my flash mob. You’re right. I didn’t want to be late, and now we’re stuck!
* Naily: Um, pardon me for interrupting, but you might want to check out June. [Above a whisper] *She’s about to blow!*
* June: [Screaming]
* Yadina: Right. Pity party postponed to a later date! January, I need you to get the boys to help!
* January: Good idea! Bad idea! What if I run into Coach Crab?
* Yadina: Oh, yeah - he can’t find out we’re stuck in here. January, you’ll just have to go out the window!
* January: That... is a *terrible* idea!
* Yadina: It’s the only way to reach the first floor without Coach seeing you! Oh, and don’t let Miss Sally suspect anything either - I don’t want her to know I put you guys in danger!
* (Everyone else in the dumbwaiter became terrified.)
* Susie: WE’RE IN DANGER!!
* (Everyone but Yadina began running around and screaming like crazy).
* (The scene cuts back to the boys,)
* Xavier: So, when did Yadina say they were all coming back?
* Freddy: That’s just it, she didn’t.
* Brad: We should make sure to get an estimated time of return if they do this sort of thing again.
* Slim: Yep.
* Sharktopus: Yeah. Okay, ready?
* Xavier and Freddy: Ready.
* Sharktopus: On three, one... two... three!
* (Xavier was tossed into the air, only to hit the ceiling and bounce off.)
* Xavier: You know, I wonder if the girls are doing anything fun?
* (The scene cuts to June).
* (She looks down and looks terrified)
* January: Oh! Crabs aren't made for this kind of thing! Okay, January, your friends and your sister need your help! You can do this!
* (She chews on the bubblegum, and then blows a gigantic bubble, floating through the air. Eventually, a bird came by and popped it. She screams as she falls.)
* January: Aah!
* (She landed on some stacks of wood)
* January: That was... *awesome*!
* (Back in the Dumbwaiter, things were staring to escalate.)
* June: *Space crab, space crab, space crab, space crab, space crab!*
* Mandy: We are not in space! But, You must be in a bad mood. Cause it stinks in here.
* Yadina: Yeah, Like rotten fish. Work on that will you?
* Piranhaconda: I’ll try.
* (Piranhaconda grunts as she tries to get them out)
* Yadina: Well, that’s a little bit better.
* Susie: Not really.
* (June freaks out)
* June: Space crab! Space crab! Space crab! Space crab! Space craaaaabbbbb!
* (Meanwhile, Coach Crab is listening to rock music, while imitating an air guitar, Until he hears June freaks out)
* Coach: Yadina, Turn down that music!
* (He suddenly notices that he was late for the race at the soccer field,)
* Coach: But, I better get going. See ya.
* (Coach heads out.)
* TBA:

## **Songs**

* If You’re A Guy (sung by Xavier, Brad, Sharktopus, and the other boys)

## **Trivia:**

* This is the second *Littlest Pet Shop (2012)* parody.