Roughin’ It - Transcript

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Episode 2 - Roughin’ It

Scene 1

Angle on Randoms Tower, cut inside to Malcom’s office, where an old man is shouting at him

Old Man

“I kid you not! I saw it! In the woods!”

Malcom

“Mmm”

Old Man

“It was this black mass, with shining white eyes! The eyes of death!”

Malcom

“Okay, and this wasn’t a bear... why?”

Old Man

“Does a bear have bright white eyes? SOULLESS EYES?!”

Malcom

“Maybe if it’s... blind or something? Look it’s hecking midnight okay! This isn’t exactly an ideal time for this!”

Old Man

“Look I know it seems-“

Malcom

“You seem”

Old Man

“-crazy, BUT YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME! It spoke my name, it said ‘oh’ WHICH IS MY NAME!”

Malcom

“Your name is... oh?”

Old Man

“Yep!”

Malcom

“Okay... what forest was this?”

Old Man

“Just outside Porta City limits, very... uh, red! With lots of mythical whosits”

Malcom

“The enchanted wildlife preserve! Oh my Lordy! I actually no what you’re talking about! You saw it too? Hmm... well, this would’ve been exciting, but this weekend I promised my kids we’d go camping, no adventuring for an entire-“

The old man drops a sack of diamonds onto the desk

Malcom

“Well, it’s not like I booked a campsite or anything...”

Intro plays

Scene 2

Angle on an van driving

Cut inside

Tim

“Look at us, camping as a family!”

Malcom

“Yep, thought we’d do something fun this weekend, completely free from work!”

Alex

“Ugh! I’d rather work, I hate camping! It’s so... I don’t know, uncomfortable... and there’s like, animals! And nature! And, that one family is that stays up until five in the morning!”

Malcom

“Pish posh! I don’t know what you’re talking about! Besides, that last one won’t happen this time!”

Alex

“Why?”

Malcom

“Reasons...”

The van parks

Scene 3 (Jojo)

Malcom exits

Malcom

“Everybody out!”

Tim steps out and breathes

Tim

“Aaah! Fresh!”

Alex

“Move! Where’s the picnic table? And why is this forest prettier than usual?”

A giant flaming bird flies over

Alex

“A Phoenix? Oh no! Is this-“

Malcom

“Welcome to the enchanted forest camping site!”

Zooms out to reveal a beautiful, but not quite normal, forest

Tim

“YES!”

Alex

“Enchanted? Oh no! No! I’m not sleeping in a place where paranormal monsters live!”

Malcom

“None of the creatures here are dangerous! Besides, we’re sleeping in my secure tent! It has laser security, you’re welcome!”

Alex

“Ugh, fine! Let’s get this over with!”

Scene 4

Montage of them setting up camp, Alex looking disgruntled the whole time

The main trio is around a campfire

Alex looks like he’s about to go off the deep end

Malcom

“Then, get this, the Centaur tried to rip out my heart!”

Tim

“HA HA HA! That’s hilarious!”

Alex (Unenthusiastically)

“Yeah, real funny...”

Malcom

“Oh, cheer up Alex! We-“

Fire goes out

Malcom

“Alex, go get us some more fire wood please...”

Scene 5 (Jojo)

Cut to Alex in the woods

Alex

“Ugh! Stupid enthusiastic family!”

The bushes rustle

Alex

“Huh? Who’s there?”

A mysterious figure rises out

Alex

“What the-“

It doesn’t notice Alex

Alex (quietly)

“Psst! Guys, over here!”

Malcom and Tim walk over

Malcom

“What?”

Tim

“WHOA!”

It notices and vanishes

Alex

“Did you see that?!”

Tim

“I saw it! But what was it? It could be one of hundreds of things!”

Alex

“It looked like a person! Made of darkness!”

Scene 6

Malcom (whispers)

“Shadow Man!”

Alex

“Yeah, Shadow Man sounds about right!”

Tim

“What’s a shadow man?”

Malcom

“Not a shadow man... THE SHADOW MAN! Come to the fire, I’ll explain!”

Cut to the newly lit fire

Malcom

“Shadow Man is the most mysterious creature I’ve ever encountered, when I first met it I was just a boy”

Scene 7

Flashback to child Malcom

He is walking through the woods

Malcom (narration)

“I was lost, had been lost! For three miserable days... when suddenly-“

Shadow Man appears

He does a “follow me” gesture

He turns and walks

Lil Malcom follows

Malcom (Narration)

“It was there! It led me back home... I’ve been searching ever since”

Scene 8 (Jojo)

End of flashback

Malcom

“These were the woods I got lost in, I always wanted to come back and find him again! He was... kinda awesome...”

Alex

“Yeah... I wanna see him again!”

Malcom

“I researched him for years, others have seen him and want him! He’s pretty valuable!”

Alex

“We gotta save him!”

Malcom

“It won’t be easy! He can vanish without a trace and shape-shift! This will be difficult! But I trust you both to do it! In the morning though... let’s get some sleep!”

Scene 9

Cut to Jameson and Safety Ninja

Jameson

“Come on!”

Safety Ninja

“Sir, this is insane! The Creature has never been seen properly!”

Jameson

“You think I care? Me capturing it would make me rich! People would pay from all over to see it! Then, using the money, I’ll buy Malcom’s company and then replace the walls with fire!”

Safety Ninja

“That’s not- never mind!”

Cut to the trio, now prepared for the hunt

Malcom

“Right, who’s ready to catch the uncatchable!”

Both

“Yeah!”

Malcom

“Then let’s go!”

Scene 10

They walk out

Tim

“You know Alex, you seem “not mad at nature” anymore!”

Alex

“I know, I just wanna see that thing again! He was sooooo coooooool!”

Alex falls in a hole

Tim

“Alex? Hello?”

Cut to Alex underground

Alex

“Hello?”

Tim (distance)

“Alex? Are you down there?”

Alex

“Yeah! Don’t worry about it though... actually worry about it, there’s no way out!”

Tim

“Okay, I’ll go get Malcom! He’ll know what to do!”

Alex

“Hurry!”

Alex looks around

Alex

“I’m sure Malcom won’t mind me exploring a bit...”

Alex walks into the darkness

Scene 11

Cut to Jameson and Safety Ninja

Safety Ninja

“Sir! I’m... so... tired... \*puff\* I just can’t \*puff\* handle this anymore!”

Jameson

“Show no weakness! Carry onwards!”

Safety Ninja

“AGH!”

Scene 12

Cut to Alex walking through the cave

Alex

“Eeigh, I’m starting to regret this...”

Alex steps in something that makes a “splish” noise

Alex

“Ew... what... the... hecking... heck...”

There’s a rustle behind him

Alex

“Ah! Who’s there? Shadow man? Shodowy? Shadesy? Shade?”

Shadow man pops up

Shadow Man

“Shade! Finally someone uses my proper name! Took thirty-five years!”

Scene 13

Cut to Tim and Malcom

Malcom

“And that’s how I accidentally started a species war!”

Tim

“Dang, that’s gruesome! So gruesome that I forgot what I was gonna tell you, I’m sure it doesn’t matter....”

Back to Alex and Shade

Shade

“You’re worthy! You called me by my actual name!”

Alex

“Worthy? Worthy of what- wait, your name is Shade?”

Shade

“No, it’s Shadowsy! Of course it’s shade! That doesn’t matter though, HA HA HA!”

Alex

“Okay...”

Shade

“Being called Shadow Man over and over again is annoying! It’s like I’m some sorta dark evil creature! Anyway! Your worthy of my task! If you complete it you can escape!”

Alex

“What’s the test?”

Shade

“A battle!”

Alex looks scared

Shade

“Of wits! Now where’d I put my wit book?”

Alex looks slightly more confident at this

Scene 14

Cut to Alex and Shade at a table

Shade

“Okay, I have two glasses! One has water, the other has poison in it, which is poison?”

Alex looks at the glasses

One is filled with crystal clear water and the other is filled with green liquid

Alex

“Hmm... neither”

Shade

“Should take you hours to find- what?”

Alex

One’s water, one’s soda!

Shade

“It’s poisonous to your health!”

Alex

“Only if you drink like forty a day!”

Shade

“Okay, okay! I get it! Geez! You win, I guess... here...”

He opens a secret passage

Alex

“Sweet!”

Alex is about to climb through

He turns and looks at Shade

Then he looks around the room, which is depressing and lonely looking

Alex

“Yo Shade, wanna come with me?”

Shade

“You mean it?”

Alex

“Yeah, sure! We always have room at Randoms INC!”

Shade

“Yes! It’s been forever since I’ve had proper friends! Let’s go now!”

Scene 15

Cut to outside

Shade

“\*breathes in\* it’s air!”

Alex

“Yep, it is! Now where Tim and Malcom?”

Shade

“It’s so peaceful here!”

Safety Ninja grabs Shade

Alex

“Huh?!”

Shade

“Help me Alex!”

Jameson

“Nice work SN we got him now! Let’s head back to base!”

Safety Ninja

“Alright, don’t call me SN”

They run off

Alex

“No!”

Alex runs after them, but gets tired quickly

Scene 16

Alex

“I’m \*pant\* out \*pant\* of \*pant\* shape!”

Tim and Malcom arrive

Tim

“Where have you been?”

Alex

“Jameson Mameson and Safety Ninja kidnapped Shade!”

Malcom

“Shade? What?”

Alex

“Oh right! I met Shadow Man!”

Malcom and Tim

“What?!”

Scene 17

Cut to Jameosn’s camp

The trio are spying from above

Tim

“How’ll we get inside?”

Malcom

“I have a plan! Listen up!”

Cut to the Jameson and Safety Ninja

Safety Ninja

“How’d I even grab him? Isn’t he a shadow?”

Jameson

“He’s not actually a shadow! He’s just called that because he vanishes quickly!”

Safety Ninja

“Oh... how’d I not put that together?”

Jameson

“I don’t know, it wasn’t very well explained... actually, it wasn’t explained at all! I just expected you to know!”

Safety Ninja

“Oh, alright”

Jameson

“Welcome to the wonderful world of being an idiot!“

Scene 18

The trio sneak past to Shade’s cage

Alex (whispers)

“Yo Shade!”

Shade (loud)

“Huh?!”

Alex (whispers p)

“Quiet, Jameson won’t have an existential crisis for much longer!”

Shade (whispers)

“Sorry! How’d you find me”

Malcom

“This is the only other campsite in this forest”

Shade

“Oh... makes sense...”

Alex

“Let’s get you out of there”

Alex opens the cage

Tim

“It... it wasn’t even locked? You’re kidding right?”

Scene 19

Safety Ninja starts walking up

Safety Ninja

“Just grabbing more sausages! AGH!”

Jameson is in front of him

Jameson

“No sausages!”

Safety Ninja

“But sir-“

Jameson

“No buts, go back!”

Safety Ninja looks behind him and sees the trio

Safety Ninja

“Uh sir, why are they here?”

Jameson

“Don’t worry, they tried to break Shadow Man out, I’ll be escorting them out!”

Safety Ninja looks past at the empty cage

Safety Ninja

“Where’s Shadow Man?”

Jameson

“He shape shifted into some air...”

Safety Ninja

“Oh geez! I’ll find him sir!”

Safety Ninja runs back to campfire

Scene 20

Jameson turns into Shade

Shade

“Woof! I couldn’t have held that much longer!”

Alex

“Yeah, let’s go home!”

They walk off

Shade

“Where will I go?”

Malcom

“Shade is it? I have several jobs suitable for you!”

Jameson (slight distance)

“Hey! Where are the sausages you moron!”

Safety Ninja (slight distance)

“But I- \*realizes\* oh...”

ALKQ TLOOV, PFXAB’P X JXFL ZEXOXZQBO -The Codemaster