The Ugly Truth

## Location/Context

When the Uglydolls first arrive in Perfection with the new Model 12 dolls, Lou sings this song. He's up on a stage, with large screens displaying his name. The crowd of dolls around him act like pop star fans, screaming his name and reaching for him when he comes by.

## Movie Lyrics

I know you long to go to the big you-know-where

And you're here to try to earn your ticket there

But listen now or you haven't got a prayer

Let me break it down, ooh

(Ooh)

If you want someone to love ya

Babe, you gotta look like me (Like me)

Fawless, pure perfection, upper-shelf (Upper-shelf)

And my first impression of ya

As far as I can see (Can see)

Is you simply can't compete with my sweet self (Your sweet self)

Is your hair as thick as mine? (No)

Are your glutes as tight as mine?(No)

Are the moves you got as drop-dead hot as this? (No, no they ain't)

Is your profile half this fine? (No)

If not, let me hit ya with the bottom line

Got to measure up or you won't get eternal bliss (Ooh)

So let me be honest (Honest)

I've got to be honest (Honest)

I'm gonna be honest (Ah, yeah)

Whether you like it or not!

You're much too short (Too short)

You're way too thin (Too thin)

Is that a blemish on your double chin? (Oh man)

Don't ever walk a runway (No)

Or man a kissing booth (Mwah)

You're U-G-L-Y (Ugly)
And that's the ugly truth

(You ugly, ah, ah, you ugly

You ugly, ah, ah, you ugly)

Now perhaps I've just upset ya

But people, let's get real (Get real)

It's a most exclusive club that you want in (Want in)

There's a price to pay, you betcha

Hey, you gotta look ideal

Or you'll end up in the old recycling bin (Recycling bin)

But hey, I can help ya (Ooh yeah)

Well, possibly help ya (Ooh yeah)

Well, hopefully help ya (Ooh yeah)

But most of you probably not!

Your head's too small (Too small)

Your neck's too long (Too long)

Your nose starts right but then ends up all wrong (So wrong)

Mm, that tiny freckle (Ugh)

Ooh, that crooked tooth

You're U-G-L-Y (Ugly)

And that's the ugly truth

(U-G-L-Y, face like that, why even try?

U-G-L-Y, back that hip like triple fry

U-G-L-Y, sorry if that makes you cry

You're ugly, so ugly, so—)

Wait!

*[[[Tuesday]]: "Marry me, Lou!"]*

Look at you, look at you, look at you
I ain't seen nothing like you before

I mean, words fail me
I mean I'm tongue-tied

I mean I'm speechless, baby

What's a thing like you

Doing in a place like this?

I gotta tell ya girl, you're pretty (Pretty ugly)

You poor, poor thing (Come on)

Don't look so sad (Come on)
I'm sorry you're so ugly

*[[[Moxy]]: "Is that—?"]*

Real bad

Imagine how you'd traumatize

Some unsuspecting youth

Why it would be U-G-L-Y (Ugly)

And that's the ugly truth

Yeah, so sorry that's the truth

Woo, 'Cuz that's the ugly truth

You're U-G-L-Y

*[Spoken]*
*I really do feel bad for you, but kids just don't want ugly*

So *I don't know where you belong, but it's not here*

And that's the ugly truth!

## Full Lyrics

I know you long to go to the big you-know-where

And you're here to try to earn your ticket there
But listen now or you haven't got a prayer
Let me break it down, ooh

If you want someone to love ya

Then babe, you gotta look like me (Like me)

Flawless, pure perfection, upper-shelf (Upper-shelf)

And my first impression of ya
As far as I can see (Can see)

Is you simply can't compete with my sweet self (Your sweet self)

Is your hair as thick as mine? (No)

Are your arms as pumped as mine? (No)

Are the moves you got as drop-dead hot as this? (No, no they ain't)

Is your profile half this fine? (No)

If not, let me hit ya with the bottom line

Got to measure up or you won't get eternal bliss (Ooh)

So let me be honest (Honest)

I got to be honest (Honest)

I'm gonna be honest (Ah yeah)
Whether you like it or not

You're much too short (Too short)

You're way too thin (Too thin)

Is that a blemish on your double chin? (Oh man)

Don't ever walk a runway (No)

Or man a kissing booth (Mwah)

You're U-G-L-Y (Ugly)
And that's the ugly truth

(You ugly, ah, ah, you ugly
You ugly, ah, ah, you ugly)

Now perhaps I've just upset ya

But people, let's get real (Get real)

It's a most exclusive club that you want in (Want in)

There's a price to pay, you betcha

Hey, you gotta look ideal

Or you'll end up in the old recycling bin (Recycling bin)

Is your smile as white as this? (No)

Are your glutes as tight as this? (No)

Then they'll trash ya and they'll mash it into glue (Ooh, poor poor you)

Just a flaw as slight as this

Just one tiny detail, it's a big ol' mess

Oops, oh well, I'm sorry, sayonara, too-da-loo (Ooh)

But hey, I can help ya (Ooh yeah)

Well, possibly help ya (Ooh yeah)

Well, hopefully help ya (Ooh yeah)

But most of you probably not!

Your head's too small (Too small)

Your neck's too long (Too long)

Your nose starts right but then ends up all wrong (So wrong)

Mm, that tiny freckle (Ugh)

Ooh, that crooked tooth

You're U-G-L-Y (Ugly)

And that's the ugly truth

(U-G-L-Y, face like that, why even try?

U-G-L-Y, back that hip like triple fry

U-G-L-Y, sorry if that makes you cry

You're ugly, so ugly, so—)

Wait!

Look at you, look at you, look at you

I ain't seen nothing like you before

I mean, words fail me

I mean I'm tongue-tied

I mean I'm speechless, baby

What's a thing like you

Doing in a place like this?

I gotta tell ya girl, you're pretty (Pretty ugly)

And that's the ugly truth (U-G-L-Y, heard your looks make you cry)

Yeah, so sorry 'bout the truth (U-G-L-Y, cross my heart and hope to die)

Woo, 'cause that's the ugly truth (U-G-L-Y, love to kiss my lunch goodbye)

Yeah you're U-G-L-Y

And that's the ugly truth