Cheese Cheese

### Aliases

The Cheesefather, He Who Curdles, The Ascended Mortal, He with Power over Dairy, The Great Betrayer (Fey only), The Wicked One (Fey only)

## Affiliations

### Open Worship

Yes

> *"Foul betrayer, champion of evil, all Fey shall condemn your dairy poisons. You may have fooled Kalix, but my court will never accept your heresy."* - Titania, to (a very confused) Cheese Cheese
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Cheese Cheese is the Lesser God of Cheese, Mousefolk, Cheesemongers, Fromagers, and Mice. Cheese Cheese is a deity whose influence is felt by very few on Eldaron, but very strongly in those groups; Cheese Cheese is an active protector of the Mousefolk and any who honour the craft of cheesemaking.

Cheese Cheese appears as a plump, little mousefolk with eyes full of kindness. An apron and hat adorn his avatar, with a belt of various cheesemaking apparatus and cheese knives bringing the outfit together. A strong smell of cheese fills the air around the god.

## Cheese Cheese's Influence

Cheese Cheese, despite being a lesser deity, has a strong control over his domains; to make cheese is an act of devotion to Cheese Cheese, and his divine influence made manifest to the mousefolk much more than other deities of mortals do to their people.

### Cheese Cheese's Goals

Cheese Cheese has two very simple goal; firstly, to make cheese. The source of milk does not matter; in fact, Cheese Cheese delights in the variety of cheeses he can make from different milks. He aims for perfection in all cheeses, whether from speciality bred cattle or from a stench kow living in Hades. His second goal is to keep his people safe; rumours swirl of Ragnaroquefort, an apocalypse for the Mousefolk, that Cheese Cheese would seek to prevent at any cost.

### Divine Relationships

Cheese Cheese's closest friend in the Pantheon of Kalix is Ihini. As Goddess of Agriculture, Ihini's influence was and still is vital for Cheese Cheese's divinity; without the sacred animals of cattle and goats being domesticated, how else would the gift of cheese be available to mortals. Ihini lets Cheese Cheese tend to her herds in return for their divine milk, an opportunity that Cheese Cheese treats with great reverence; some say Ihini's cattle live better lives than any mortal monarch.

Cheese Cheese is also good friends with Minac Coliven. As Goddess of Alcohol, Minac always knows the best wine to pair with a particular cheese, a talent that Cheese Cheese deeply respects and admires.

Findlefingers have a friendly rivalry with Cheese Cheese; as God of Artisans, Findlefingers admires the work of He with Power over Dairy, and wishes to have the same perfection of cheese that Cheese Cheese possesses. However, unlikely every other trade, Findlefingers cannot master cheesemaking, a fact that Cheese Cheese teases him for, even if he is secretly saddened deeply by this imperfection.

### Primordial Relationships

Cheese Cheese, despite the claims by the Mousefolk that he never did anything wrong, is hated by the Fey; the Fey claim Cheese Cheese was the one who planted the idea of stealing Titania's beauty to Mopoloto. Ancient archfey even claim that Cheese Cheese aided Mopoloto, poisoning Titania and her court with his foul creations, leaving them vulnerable. Despite countless pleas with the Fey that it was just an unfortunate accident that Mopoloto took advantage of, and that so-called 'lactose intolerance' was the cause of the poisoning and not actual poison, the Fey are adamant that the Great Betrayer must be brought to justice for his most heinous of crimes.

## Worshipping Cheese Cheese

Although very public about their devotion to Cheese Cheese, his followers (usually mousefolk) rarely celebrate it outwardly; he has no festival day, although historians and theologians disagree on the reasoning of this. The Deriv school of thought (named after Kalixin head of state, Archbishop Deriv) state that Cheese Cheese lacks a festival day as he is only a lesser deities, while the opposing Provolone school of thought (named after prominent mousefolk theologian Feta Provolone) theorises that Cheese Cheese lacks a festival day as it would interrupt from the act of cheesemaking, and thus not be a day of worship at all.

## Myths of Cheese Cheese

The myths of Cheese Cheese are often slightly comedic, with Cheese Cheese being a confused outsider joining the ranks of the goods

***The Ascension to Divinity.*** Cheese Cheese's mortal name was unknown (it may have even actually been Cheese Cheese, but most theologians believe this to be 'too silly to be true'), but many sources do point towards the conclusion that Cheese Cheese was once a mortal of unknown race, characterised by a deep love for mice. Cheese Cheese wanted to provide for his beloved mice and thus, set about trying to make a food that mice would crave above all else. Decades of work seemed to go nowhere, and were seemingly soon to end as Cheese Cheese fell ill. Unable to work, he was bedridden for months. Eventually, an awful smell began to fill the room, the result of a tankard of milk being hidden on his desk by towers of research notes. Dragging himself of bed, Cheese Cheese found the offending substance and went to dispose of it, but stumbled on the way. Believing that his final moments had came, Cheese Cheese began to give up, but was given hope; his beloved mice appeared from throughout his house, drawn towards the substance the milk had became; cheese! The happiness that filled his heart gave Cheese Cheese new strength, and he pushed through his illness. He spent the remaining years of his life making cheese and feeding it to his mice friends. The rest of the story has been lost, but many believe that the devotion of his mice gave Cheese Cheese the ability to harness divine power and ascend to godhood, being the only mortal to ever do so.

***The Mother Cheese.*** One of Cheese Cheese's final acts on the mortal plane was to produce the Mother Cheese; a wheel of cheese of unmatched size and flavour. It is said that the Mother Cheese contains some of Cheese Cheese's divine power, and on consumption, his power has manifested in extraordinary ways, such as the creation of Excalibrie. Nobody knows what will happen when the Mother Cheese will be fully consumed; some sects which worship Cheese Cheese believe it will mark the beginning of Ragnaroquefort, while others believe the entire mousefolk race will ascend to godhood to be with Cheese Cheese.

***Titania's Accusation.*** The Fey's hatred of Cheese Cheese is a potent force; it is said that it even surpasses Asmodeus' hatred of Zeyack. This hatred stems from the theft of Titania's essence; one day, Cheese Cheese learned that the Fey had never had any dairy product. The cheese-free diet upset Cheese Cheese and he wished to help them. As such, he made a cheese of superb quality, and gifted it to Titania's court. Titania graciously accepted the cheese, expecting no threat from Cheese Cheese. Yet Cheese Cheese's gift did not bring Titania and the Fey pleasure, but agony; they felt sick, they felt bloated, they felt betrayed. To this day, the Church of Cheese Cheese claims that the Fey are simply lactose intolerant and Cheese Cheese did not know, but the Fey insist it was treachery they suffered from that day. Mopoloto (whether planned with Cheese Cheese or being opportunistic) took advantage of the Fey's discomfort and flatulence and stole Titania's essence, and from that day onwards, the Fey have felt nothing but seething hatred for Cheese Cheese.

***Ragnaroquefort.*** Like many races, the mousefolk have an apocalypse prophecy; the mousefolk believe a chosen herald of Cheese Cheese will, at the dawn of the apocalypse, ascend the Spear of Banrios and blow the Gruyerehorn. Destruction will be brought to the world, and there will be no more cheeses.

***The Olcliff Miracle.*** The best known example of Cheese Cheese using his power in the world was when Brie Fromage, herald of Ragnaroquefort and bearer of the Gruyerehorn, through the power of the Mother Cheese, spoke with Cheese Cheese in a dream with the Hall of Esteemed Members and then summoned Dr Amix Kalitov. Kalitov escaped, but it provided damning evidence of Kalitov's crimes and was a pivotal moment in leading to his elimination.

## Cheese Cheese's Champions

**Alignment:** Often good, usually chaotic

**Suggested Classes:** Cleric, Bard, Sorcerer, Rogue, Artificer

**Suggested Cleric Domains:** Cheese

**Suggested Backgrounds:** Acolyte, Guild Artisan, Charlatan

Cheese Cheese is worshipped for a few, very specific reasons; Mousefolk tend to worship him out of tradition, but his worship is also popular for cheesemongers who seek to perfect their craft.

### Cheese Cheese's Favour

Cheese Cheese's favour tends to be reserved for the Mousefolk and the Mousefolk alone. However, those who are viewed as true paragons of the path of the fromager are often blessed with gifts from He Who Curdles. The Cheese Cheese's Favour table offers several suggestions for the nature of your connection to the God.

 **6** | You have no idea why Cheese Cheese shows interest in you.

### Devotion to Cheese Cheese

Servants of Cheese Cheese draw strength from dairy. As a follower of Cheese Cheese, consider the possibilities on the Cheese Cheese’s Ideals table as alternatives to those suggested for your background.

 **6** | **Wisdom.** Like milk to cheese, time and effort will bring me to an enlightened form. (Any)

### Earning and Losing Piety

You increase your piety score to Cheese Cheese when you expand the god’s influence in the world in a concrete way through acts such as these:

* Making dairy products, particularly cheese
* Protecting and helping mousefolk
* Eating cheese
* Building or restoring a temple to Cheese Cheese

Your piety score to Cheese Cheese decreases if you diminish Cheese Cheese’s influence in the world, contradict his ideals, or make him look ridiculous or ineffectual through acts such as these:

* Destroying cheese or cheesemaking equipment
* Helping Fey who oppose Cheese Cheese and the mousefolk
* Promoting dairy-free diets
* Disliking cheese

Cheese Cheese is beloved by his followers; they are vocal in their worship of him, adoring his dairy-based grace.

#### Cheese Cheese's Devotee

*Piety 3+ Cheese Cheese trait*

As a devotee of Cheese Cheese, you have proven yourself to be a connoisseur of all things cheesy. Through Cheese Cheese's power, you can cast goodberry a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier (minimum of once). When you cast the spell this way, instead of creating ten berries, you create 10 small pieces of Edam cheese in a red wax coating. You regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest. Charisma is your spellcasting ability for this spell.

#### Cheese Cheese's Votary

*Piety 10+ Cheese Cheese trait*

You can cast stinking cloud with this trait. Once you cast the spell in this way, you can’t do so again until you finish a long rest. Charisma is your spellcasting ability for this spell.

#### Cheese Cheese's Disciple

*Piety 25+ Cheese Cheese trait*

Even the most potent stilton or the hottest molten cheddar are a delicious treat to you. You gain resistance to fire and poison damage, and advantage on saving throws against poison.

#### Champion of Cheese

*Piety 50+ Cheese Cheese trait*

You can increase your Constitution or Charisma score by 2 and also increase your maximum for that score by 2.