Old Rivals

**An old adversary returns.**

Rival: Don’t try passing this off as a coincidence. You’re probably following me like you did back in school.

You: Whoa! Hold it right there. You were the one trying to one-up me every chance you got!

#### Ending Dialogue

Rival: I’m sorry, okay! Sorry for how jealous you become when you’re around me.

You: Your maturity has reached new heights: resting comfortably around your ankles.

### Toxic Twosome

#### Starting Dialogue

You: We‘re older and wiser now, so maybe we finally can put this silly rivalry aside.

Rival: You do look a lot older in a tired, wrinkly way.

You: Not sure why I ever thought someone with the brain the size of a walnut could evolve.

#### Ending Dialogue

Rival: I’m glad we’re living in the same town now so we can compare my successes and your failures.

You: Yes, what a wonderful gift that the universe has given me.

### Renewed Rivals

#### Starting Dialogue

You: Why have you always treated me so poorly?

Rival: No, I invited you to a sleepover one time....

You: You put my hand in warm after while I slept!

#### Ending Dialogue

You: Is this all because your crush invited me to the winter dance?

Rival: I would never shame someone for accepting charity.

### Merciless Mates

#### Starting Dialogue

Rival: I can’t believe you think my crush asked you to the winter dance at school because they liked you.

You: I knew it! You ARE upset about it.

Rival: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m only upset because you won’t let it go.

#### Ending Dialogue

Rival: Fine, I do hate you because my school crush asked you to the winter dance instead of me. You stole them away!

You: I didn’t do anything! You clearly repelled them with your despicable attitude.

### Relentless Rivals

#### Starting Dialogue

Rival: I’m thinking of changing my look. What do you think of this mockup I made on my phone?

You: That’s a picture of me with your face pasted over mine!

Rival: I just think I can pull off the look better than you.

#### Ending Dialogue

You: Why do you keep following me around like some sad puppy?

Rival: Don’t want to feel like the only dog in the room, huh?

You: I’d throw a stick if I knew it’d make you leave.

### Contentious Cohorts

#### Starting Dialogue

Rival: You know you secretly like hanging out with me because I remind you of when you were young and slightly less pathetic.

You: Yeah right. I wish I could wipe you out of all my memories. Scrubbing you out of the present sounds pretty great, too.

#### Ending Dialogue

You: You don’t have to hide the fact that you transferred schools because you were intimidated by me.

Rival: Whatever. I transferred schools because everyone was too dumb to keep up with my intellectuality-ness.

You: Intellectuality-ness isnt even a word.

### Obsessive Rivals

#### Starting Dialogue

You: Why did you even come to the same town as me if you knew we still wouldn’t get along?

Rival: I wanted to see how much better off I’m doing than you. I’m pretty pleased with the verdict!

#### Ending Dialogue

You: Let me get this straight. You followed me to a new town to try and compare yourself to me?

Rival: I use you as a baseline to measure success: you’re way below it and I’m way above it.

You: You’re not only messed up, you’re obsessed!

### Fierce Foes

#### Starting Dialogue

You: Following me around like this to one-up me is just pathetic.

Rival: Since you’re so narrow minded, it’s no surprise you feel that way.

#### Ending Dialogue

Rival: I feel sorry for you. It must be hard to live your whole life with such a limited scope for success.

You: You feel sorry for me? I didn’t think you were capable of feeling anything at all.

### Poisonous Peers

#### Starting Dialogue

Rival: Your house looks so quaint and cozy! It remind me of my poolhouse.

You: So you’re finally comfortable in a pool after what happened in gym class?

Rival: How dare you bring that up!

#### Ending Dialogue

You: Why can’t we just get along? Why can’t we both win?

Rival: Well, according to my therapist, I perceive your success as my failure, but she also said you’re just a jerk.

You: It’s nice to know that, after all these years, some things never change.