The Twenty-first Session

Travelling up the path from the TriBridge Pass to Luthcheq, the Sentinels came upon the halfling village of Peradoc, which was Shag's hometown. Shag was unaware that was the path they were on, as he'd been drinking and sleeping and not checking maps. As they approached the town, a farmer working near the road recognized Shag and began calling to him. Shag awkwardly said hello, as he wasn't thrilled about being home, due to his parents thinking he was still in bard college. He introduced the group to the farmer, who was his old friend Bart, and Bart invited them to The Merry House, the local tavern and favored spot in town.

"Shag McCracken you fuck, is that you? I didn't know you were coming home" called the bartender, a pretty red-haired halfling woman who Shag recognized as his other old best friend Wendy. He beckoned for the group to follow his lead, as no one knew he dropped out of college. Everyone was drinking and dancing, and the crowd shouted for Minus The Bugbear to play a few songs, at which point Shag gave in and sat down where the band was playing along with Wendy on percussion and Bart on the jug.

After they performed a few songs, Wendy went back to bartending and Shag and Bart sat down at the bar, where he leaned in to tell them he had dropped out of school, played on a cruise ship for a while and went a bunch of places, and then joined a travelling band where he met the other Sentinels in the Free Lands and went on a quest to save 2 princes and potentially saved the world, and were going to continue doing so. Wendy thought that was super badass, especially for the events of a combat-based RPG that isn't a college simulator.

At this point, they heard a voice at the door say "Archie? Is that my Archie?" which made Shag attempt to hide, as his parents came into the tavern and ran up to hug him, prompting "who the fuck is Archie?" from Yief. "We didn't know you were coming home! Why aren't you at school? Who are your friends?" they asked, as Shag lied about them being classmates and said there was a plague that caused them to evacuate the school grounds. Yief said he played the HammerBook, a traditional orc instrument originating in their hatred of reading. Halrek said he played the flute. Aoth tried to walk away but was blinked back in place by Halrek, testing out his new powers in attempt to fuck with Aoth. Aoth stuttered before also settling on playing the flute. Ragnar, Lyn, Bashak, and Haldes all got away, but Vissella couldn't get away before admitting she could sing. Her "friends" were her backup singers who specialized in sea shanties from growing up on islands in the Free Lands, and she learned those shanties and knew some traditional Draconian songs. "And lots of songs, because college singers know lots of songs!" she attempted to lie. Shag gave her a thumbs up.

At this point, his parents were content with drinking and began to showcase formidable square dancing skills. Minus The Bugbear played more songs, everyone got drunk, and Wendy offered them all rooms at the inn on the house.

Just before dawn, they were awakened by the sound of crashing and screaming, jumping up to run outside. They saw over 30 men on horses charging through the city, smashing buildings and lighting things on fire, some even grabbing halflings to kidnap. After some failed attacks on reflex, Aoth grabbed a bucket and ran for the creek just off the path. Halrek blinked onto one of the horses to try and kill the rider, but wasn't able to successfully attack since he hadn't blinked onto a moving target before and had to focus on keeping his balance. Yief stood his ground and knocked a horse off its feet, stunning the rider. Shag began using his eldritch magic to put out fires. Yief continued to focus on his hostage as Shag used Thunder Step to put out the nearby fires while teleporting in front of the group of horses that was leaving the village. He used a hypnotic spell on them, getting about half of them to stop. This allowed Halrek to stabilize himself and assassinate his target before quickly freeing the halflings those bandits had kidnapped. Shag then enveloped them in an eldritch void, as Halrek blinked over to him.

Aoth put out some fires and then ran back to the inn to attach his arm and shield before running to help Shag and Halrek with the remaining soldiers. After successfully defeating them, Shag, Aoth, and Halrek made their way back to Yief to begin interrogating the hostage bandit. They removed his helmet, revealing that he looked like Jonah Hill, and his name was Jonah Hill. Shag threatened him, saying if he didn't help them that Shag would kill him and take his form and do really embarrassing things as him, prompting Jonah to reveal the location of the bandit fortress. They were a faction of the Howling Banshees, the biggest bandit group in the kingdom. Their leader had seen the fallen bandits at the TriBridge Pass and tracked the Sentinels' horses to the town. He thought by kidnapping halflings, the Sentinels would come straight to him so he didn't need to spend time searching the village. Shag then had Halrek kill Jonah anyway, and took his shadow. Wendy then showed up, saying the bandits took Shag's parents and Bart.

The group geared up and headed out. Along the path, they saw some wisps of smoke coming from a wheat field, followed by the familiar smell of Widestem Leaf. They then found a man laying in the field casually on his back, pipe in hand, smoking and relaxing. He looked like a blond Ewan McGregor, and wore a black and red samurai haori with a wolf insignia on it. Next to him was a black and grey wolf, also laying casually. "Holy shit, you're the coolest person I've ever seen" said Shag, as the man chuckled and introduced himself as Levi, and his wolf as Æyüren. Yief leaned in to pet the wolf, who let him while wagging his tail. Levi responded, "If he likes you, I like you." Levi then asked them if they were going after the men he saw riding down the path before, and when they said yes, he said it sounded like they were setting a trap based on what he heard. They then invited him to come help them in battle, and said they could get him more widestem leaf, to which he accepted, using his sheathed katana to push himself to his feet. On the way there, they came up with the plan of Shag taking the form of Jonah since he also had passing knowledge of who Jonah was, while Halrek took the form of Jonah so they could pretend Shag had captured Halrek, who was pretending, but they were really both pretending.

Approaching the fortress, they came across a pitfall trap that Shag and Halrek blinked over, continuing their way toward the fortress. Aoth used a grappling hook, created a magic circle that Yief and Æyüren stood on, and jumped across so he could fall only a few feet in while grabbing the grappling hook's rope. Levi ran across the wall of the inside of the trap and jumped out on the other side, grabbing Aoth's hand and helping him up upon realizing Aoth's climbing was limited with only one working arm. They then threw the hook back to Yief, who secured it on his side, and then were able to transport the circle across the taut rope to get Yief to the other side. Meanwhile, Shag and Halrek were at the gate, where the confused guards tried to figure out who was the real Jonah. Asking about a dream that made Jonah pee himself the previous week, Halrek responded "Fish" which was correct, up until he specified being terrified of Fish Quickwheel, causing the guard to think he was crazy for a ridiculous idea of a fork and spoon being blended. Shag confirmed the fear was of sea life, and they were let in. Shag drew all the soldiers in close, then used Thunder Step to teleport he and Halrek out while damaging everyone inside. Once they were out, he cast another hypnotic spell, disabling most of the bandits.

However, when Shag charged back in, he was immediately hit by the Stone Giant and the Troll that were inside who had evaded his earlier spells, causing him to center a return attack on the giant, which killed four of the incapacitated bandits by proxy. Everyone else charged in, attacking the Troll and the giant, with Levi and Æyüren making coordinated attacks. After a decisive battle where Aoth busted the giant's kneecap and then killed it with a headshot once its head was in range, and Shag polymorphed the troll into a chicken and threw it in the pit trap, the leader, who resembled John Barrowman, used a scroll to escape, as well as the primary archer. With no combatants left, they looted the stronghold and freed the halflings. Shag's parents (still calling him Archie) asked him how he could do all that stuff and why his friends didn't do any bard stuff, to which he replied he would tell them when they got home. When prodded by Yief, Shag admitted his full name was Archibald Burton McCracken, and he wasn't actually a duke as his initial introductory title would have suggested. They left to head back to Peradoc.