recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
The Vampire In The Library

Just PAGE me pal, I'll be BOOKED until Tuesday.  Oh, hello boys and girls, I was just on the TELEGROAN with my LOCAL LI-SCARY-AN!  By the way, WELCOME to the TWENTY-FOURTH TERRIFYING-TRIBUTE OF CREEPS CASTLE.  Speaking of books, here's a NASTY-NUGGET about what a man finds in his LISCARY!  It's called...

In June of 1938, a man walked along a sidewalk up, in Vermont one afternoon.  He walked into a library and went up an aisle, coming across A Christmas Carol By Charles Dickens.  The man read some of it silently and then put it back on the shelf.  The man wandered around the place, sitting down at a table and noticed the young female librarian over at the desk, sitting and writing on a sheet of paper with a pencil.  He smiled, then saw something a bit creepy.  It was a shadowy-figure upstairs in a dark area of the library.  It stood up, at the balcony, seeming to stare down at him.  The man was startled with fear and quickly fled.

The man walked down the street to a bar.  He entered it, going up to the counter.  "Hi George, can I get a Wild Turkey please?" the man asked the bartender.  "Hi Jeffrey, sure!" George The Bartender replied, with a grinning-face.  Jeffrey gave George a quater and George poured him a glass of Wild Turkey from a bottle.  "Thank you" Jeffrey said and gulped it down.  Jeffrey returned to the library, moving into an aisle.  His eyes gradually looked upstairs, seeing the shadow-figure still standing on the balcony.  Jeffrey gasped and found himself walking up the steps a little bit.  "Come on up here Jeffrey.  No one can see nor hear me except you" the shadowy-figure beckoned in a low-voice.  "What and who are you?" Jeffrey heard himself ask it.  "I am a creature of the night and hide in dark places of the Earth!" the figure answered.  Jeffrey hesitated at the last step.  The thing came into the light from the dark area of the balcony.  Jeffrey saw that it was an ancient vampire, wrinkled and aged.  The creature wore a red cape around itself, having bat-like ears.  It observed Jeffrey with shining-white pupils within its dark-eyes.  The light shone on the vampire's ancient, pale-flesh, showing part of its bald head.  "How about a bite, Jeffrey?" the vampire mumbled through its fangs.  Jeffrey ran downstairs, sitting down at the same table he had sat at before.  He clenched his eyes shut, but peeled them open, seeing the vampire was still upstairs only now up, at the foot of the staircase.  Jeffrey observed in terror, blackened-slime dripping down the steps, from the monster's mouth, as it hung it open, hissing away.  The vampire began descending the staircase, stepping in the slime, making splashing noises.  As it continued to hiss, Jeffrey got up, running out of the library.

Jeffrey sure looked like he was rather STAIRED TO DEATH hee-hee.  That vampire really knew how to STEP DOWN from his position UPSCARES!  He must have thought it SUCKED Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha.
The Doom Of The Groom

Welcome Kiddies, this is your Old MAGGOT-GAGGER CREEPS again, to SPIN THE SPINE-TINGLING SPINNER OF EERIE-OFFERINGS!  Tonight's TALE OF TWISTED-TERROR, is full of SPIRIT.  I entitle this MORBID-MASTERPIECE...

On a November night back in 1870, out in California, there was a young groom walking with a young bride down the walkway to a mansion.  The brand new couple entered the large home, with the new husband carrying his new wife across the doorway-threshold.  He put her gently down and they sat down in the elegant dining room, at the table.  "Would you care for some gourmet wine my darling?" the husband asked the bride.  "Why, yes Culpepper.   I would please my love" she answered, leaning over and kissing him on the lips.  Culpepper poured out wine from a bottle into a glass, handing it to her.  "Thank you, Sweetheart" she said to Culpepper.  "You are quite welcome Jean my dear" he replied.  Jean drank the wine and within a few moments, she fell to the floor, dead.  "Ah, what a shame I had to mix poison in this bottle of wine!" Culpepper said and picked up Jean's dead body.

Culpepper buried Jean's corpse beside the mansion.  "Well, darling, now I have your mansion and riches too go along with it.  Rest in peace!" Culpepper said and hurried inside with the shovel.  He lit his pipe in the parlor and sat in a chair, smoking it for awhile.  Culpepper stared tiredly at the glowing-fire in the fireplace.  A figure came into the room in white.  Culpepper's eyes caught sight of it and it was Jean.  Her face was rather ghastly, with a greenish-dead-glow, among her long dark hair.  The apparition of Jean stared at the fire in the fireplace, moving her bright-green-glowing eyes towards her husband.  Culpepper jumped up from the chair immediately, too surprised to speak.  The gown and veil that the specter wore glowed as well, and Jean silently placed her ghostly-hands of green around Culpepper's throat, beginning to laugh and cackle, as he choked and coughed, with wide-eyes.  Early the next morning, the fire was gone from in the fireplace of the parlor.  Culpepper's dead corpse hung by a noose from the parlor-ceiling and suddenly, there was the sound of Jean's ghost laughing and cackling.

Heh-Heh, looks like Culpepper just ended up HANGING AROUND eh?  As for poor Jean, she totally ended up being a MILLIONSCARE  ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!  Until next EERIE-ISSUE BOILS AND GHOULS, take A GHOST OF A CHANCE like Jean did ha-ha.
The Hunt

Ha-Ha, hello TERROR Kiddies.  I, CREEPS, welcome all of you to ISSUE FIFTY-NINE OF CREEPS CASTLE, FEAR I mean HERE in my CASTLE OF CREEPINESS!  Let's see, I do think HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL with this FIRST FABLE OF FEAR here hee-hee.  It's about a HUNTING as well as a HAUNTING, I entitle...

There was a cabin in the backwoods of South Carolina, where a hunter walked into one evening back in 1961.  He put his rifle up, against the cabin-wall by the door and heard a knock on it just then.  Answering the door, it was an old man.  "Good evenin' mister, I am Wallace O'Reiley.  I saw what y'all brought here from in these backwoods earlier" the old man spoke to the hunter, introducing himself and shaking his hand.  "Hello Mr. O'Reiley nice meeting you sir.  "Yes, it was a mighty big deer sir.  This is my summer cabin by the way.  I am Doug Peters" the hunter talked with Wallace O'Reiley, introducing himself then.  "Nice meetin' you, Mr. Peters.  Y'all have mounted that deer's head up, on that wall over there I see.  Beware I warn that within these here backwoods, that thing will get vengeance as a living-dead zombie on you because of huntin' for sport sir!" Mr. Wallace O'Reiley pointed to the deer's head, and explained to Doug.  "What the heck are you talking about Mr. O'Reiley?" Mr. Doug Peters wondered of the old man.  "Y'all will see what I mean soon sir.  Have a good evenin' now" he wished Doug and left the cabin.

Doug Peters latched his cabin-door and sat down on the sofa underneath the head of the deer.  Doug fell asleep, while drinking a bottle of Bourbon by the couch and went to heavy snoring.  During the night, the moon was red and something boney was scraping and ramming into the cabin-door.  The shape of bones within the darkness of the backwoods was that of a hooved-animal.  Doug Peters awoke, hearing the ramming on the door, yawned and went to it.  "Oh, you're back Mr. O'Reiley huh?  Well, you're not going to scare me out of my Summer cabin here!" he spoke aloud.  The door broke-open at once, and it was the decapitated-skeleton of the deer.  Mr. Peters got wide-eyed and yelled in astonished-horror, as the zombie animal charged into his cabin.  "I killed you and skinned you for a brand new rug you freakin' filthy deer" Mr. Doug Peters yelled at the headless-zombie.  "I mounted your head, you cannot be here!!!!!" he screamed, as the skeletal-body of the zombie deer rammed into his torso.  Doug went flying and falling into the cabin-wall, and the head of the deer moved, writhing itself, growling fiercely at him now with solid-white eyes.  Doug got to his feet slowly, moaning in pain, holding his back and head.  The zombie-head of the zombie deer bit his scalp, forcing Doug to scream in pain, as its skeletal-body held him steady with its hooves.  The zombified-head kept biting his scalp, until Doug was dead.

OH DEER what an ending FRIGHT, kiddies?  That sure BITES for Mr. Doug Peters even though he GOT A-HEAD START hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!  Ol' Mr. Wallace O'Reiley sure knew that the WILD LIFE of the backwoods would become WILD DEATH if disturbed.
The Red Mile

A horrifying hello to all of you kiddies!  This is your GHOST-HOST, CREEPS, in my CASTLE once GORE.  Welcome to the SIXTH EERIE-ISSUE OF CREEPS CASTLE!  Our story, shall get you in the SPIRIT...

Back in 1889, down in southwest-Kentucky, there was a large cabin.  Some men were on horseback, riding through the backwoods and saw it.  "Whoa boy!" the three men on horseback called to their horses.  The horses stopped and the men got off and tied them to an old, long-fence.  "Y'all look at this ol' cabin fellows!" one of the men said to the other ones.  "Let's see who's inside, Bob" one of the other men replied to him.  "Alright, Frederinck!" Bob said.  Bob knocked on the cabin-door, waiting.  Frederick and the other man looked in the windows of the cabin, seeing it was dark inside.  "Looks like no one's home Bob" the other man said.  "Yep, Douglas, let's take a rest y'all" Bob replied.  Bob, Frederick and Douglas went inside the old cabin and sat down in chairs in the front room.  They opened bottles of Jack Daniel's Whiskey they had with them, drinking and relaxing. As an old grandfather-clock was ticking in the corner, Bob noticed the floor of the long hallway, was covered in a thick, red slime, that was extremely crimson in its color.  Bob stood up, following the bright, sparkling and goopy-slime down the hall.  "What in tarnation, this here hall is a dang mile long!" Bob said, walking down the mile-long hallway.  Bob got to the end of the hall and looked up, at a pale-white giant, seven-feet tall and very transparent.  The ghost had black-hair and a black mustache.  The spirit wore a black suit and bow tie, looking down at Bob, with his pure-black, pupil less-eyes.  "Welcome to m'cabin sir.  "Y'all have walked down what I call The Red Mile!" the phantom of the giant spoke in a loud, deep-voice to Bob, as more red, thick-slime dripped out of his ghostly-mouth and blackened-eyes.

Well, you could say, Bob met the HOME-GROANER of the old cabin just in SLIME eh, kiddies?  Bob can take a lesson from him, since he really LOOKED UP to the phantom.  The phantom gave him a GHOST OF A CHANCE!  Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!!
The Goblin In The Tree

Heh-Heh, It's SLIME for me to take my medication Kiddies.  I have had quite a DEADACHE!  Oh well, nothing a little MOANTRIN can't help hee-hee-hee.  Now, here's a DELIRIOUS-DOSE of MONSTER-MEDICATION for yoiu all...

It was in the forest that a boy and girl journeyed through in New Jersey, back in 1898.  They both sang, Little Brown Jug, together, as the dark approached.  All of a sudden, a man came from around a maple tree.  He and the children were all startled.  "Oh, howdy, children.  So sorry for scaring you!" the man said, gulping down a bottle of Jim Beam Whiskey he held.  "Hi sir, it is alright" the kids replied.  "Have a pleasant day" the man said and took off.  "Thank you sir.  You too!" they called.  The girl looked up the maple tree, hearing branches moving.  The boy looked up too and they saw a clawed-foot reach down, landing on a lower-branch.  The claws were thick, spread out and black on the toes of the dark-green foot of leathery-flesh.  "Run Sister!" the boy told the girl and he took her hand, fleeing.  The siblings ran into the man.  "What in the world children?!" he exclaimed.  "A monster sir!!" they said to him.  "Monster?  What?" the man asked the children.  "Yes sir in the tree" they said.  He returned with the kids to the maple tree.  "It's up there sir" the girl said and she and her brother found the man had vanished.  Just then, they saw the thing entirely, up, in the tree.  The monster glared down at them, with bulgy eyes of pure black like marbles.  Its hairless, dark-green leathery-flesh and long, thick, yellow-fangs, the children stared at, as the creature brought a black, clawed-hand to the branch of the maple tree.  The goblin in the tree growled in a low-pitch and the girl screamed in fear.  The goblin dripped a dark-green oozing-slime from its skin and transformed into the man.  "Please don't be afraid children for I am the goblin!" he assured them.

That man just BRANCHED-OUT being a monster.  And the children were going to LEAVE the maple tree before they knew who the creature was ha-ha-ha-ha.  I feel much better kiddies.  I am all done COFFIN MY HEAD OFF!  Whoops!  There it goes hee-hee-hee!
The Plant-Man

Ha-Ha, greetings, kiddies!  Your old, pal, CREEPS, is tending to a little garden, outside my CASTLE.  I have quite the SEVERED-GREEN THUMB.  Now, among the CROAKUSES and DERANGE-IUMS, I've PLANTED tonight's story of GORE-AL!

Back in August, 1937, a hillbilly farmer stood in his garden, picking tomatoes, on his farm in northern-Tennessee.  It was early in the evening and he said to himself, "Boy, Farmer Ernie Grayson, y'all got one fine tomato garden!".  Farmer Ernie Grayson walked out of his garden, with a basket of ripe tomatoes in hand, going into his small farmhouse.  He set the basket of tomatoes in the kitchen, in his ice-box and went into the front room.  Farmer Ernie Grayson took a seat on the couch and turned on his table-side radio.  A man sang, "Oh, Susannah!" on it.  All of a sudden, there was a noise down, in the cellar.  Farmer Ernie Grayson got up, grabbing his shotgun and quietly opened the cellar-door.  "Someone down there?  Y'all are trespassin' in Farmer Ernie Grayson's farmhouse.  That's me!" he shouted and slowly went down, into the cellar.  He heard a low-pitched gurgling of something in the darkness, moving around.  Farmer Ernie Grayson fired his shotgun.  The low-pitched gurgling became louder and he ran upstairs.  A weed-creature sprinted up the cellar-stairs, standing over six-feet tall before Farmer Ernie Grayson.  The monster was entirely green and was extremely plant-like.  Farmer Ernie Grayson screamed in fear, gazing into the thing's purple-eyes.  It grabbed the one end of the shotgun.  Farmer Ernie Grayson fainted.  He woke up, immediately looking around, not seeing the monster anywhere.  He got to his feet.  "Y'all need a stiff drink, Farmer Ernie Grayson, yes sir!" he said to himself, going into his kitchen and pulling a bottle of Jack Daniel's Whiskey out of his ice-box.  He swigged half of the whiskey down and sighed.  "That's better eh" he exclaimed.  Just then, he saw on the kitchen-wall, written in capital, green-slime-letters: "I AM KNOWN AS THE PLANT-MAN!  I AM AN ALIEN-MONSTER, WHOM HAS VISITED YOU!!".

Hee-Hee, well, did that FEAR-FABLE GROW ON YOU kiddies?  I bet old Farmer Ernie Grayson wasn't PLANTING ON IT, to have that visit, eh? Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!  Until next issue, still count on my magazines to be DIRT-CHEAP!
Shrimp Florentine Pasta

## Ingredients

* 1/4 oz parsley (minced)
* 4 oz light cream
* 1 oz grated parmesan
* 2 tsp mirepoix base
* 5 oz baby spinach
* 2 garlic cloves
* 1 shallot
* 5 oz spaghetti
* 8 oz shrimp, tails removed

## Instructions

1. Bring 8 cups **water** to a boil in a medium pot.
2. Peel and mince **shallot**, coarsely chop **spinach**, mince **garlic**, and pat **shrimp** dry and then season with a pinch of **salt** and **pepper**.
3. Once water is boiling, add **pasta** and cook until al dente, 8-10 minutes. Reserve 1/4 cup **pasta cooking water**, and then drain pasta in a colander.
4. While pasta cooks, heat 2 tsp **olive oil** in a large pan over medium-high heat. Add **shrimp** to hot pan and cook undisturbed until seared on one side, 1-2 minutes.
5. Flip shrimp, and add **shallot** and **garlic**. Cook until aromatic, 30-60 seconds.
6. Lower heat to medium. Add **spinach** to pan and stir occasionally until spinach is wilted, 2-3 minutes.
7. Add **cream**, **parmesan**, half the **cooking water**, **mirepoix base**, and **pasta** and stir to combine. Bring to a simmer. Once simmering, cook until sauce is slightly thickened, 2-3 minutes.
8. If too dry, add additional pasta cooking water, 1 Tbsp at a time until desired consistency is reached.
9. Remove from burner and season with 1/4 tsp salt. Garnish pasta with **parsley**.
The Skin-Man

Hello again kiddies.  I'm reading up on some COOKING TECHSHRIEKS to cook some rather GHOULISH GOREMETS Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha.  There's SHRIEKING DUCK, SCALLOPED POTA-TOES and an old English dessert called DEAD PUDDING!  But before the BEAST-FEAST, I hope you boys and girls will like this HOMEMADE-HORRORS D'OEUVRE I call...

The snow fell with the wind blowing back in December, 1930, in the mountains of Arkansas, one crisp morning.  Three children, two girls and one boy, ran in the falling-snow.  "Come on, Daniel, let's make snow-angels!" one of the girls called out to the boy.  "Okay, Emma!" Daniel replied, catching up.  "Are y'all alright, Sandra?" Daniel asked the other girl.  "Yes just cold" she replied.

"We are getting closer to where The Skin-Man lives" Daniel said.  "What is he like Daniel?" Emma asked him.  "He has green, slick skin and glowing-yellow eyes and is said to feed on people when caught by him!" he explained.  "I think we should head back it's too cold!!!" Sandra said.  "Yeah, she's right let's just go" Daniel agreed.

As Daniel, Emma and Sandra turned and started down the one mountainside, a sound of a high-pitched screech was heard.  That evening, Emma was outside a house watching snow flakes, when a man came charging outside.  "Emma, y'all git in here now, or I'm gonna whoop ya some more girl!!" he shouted.  "Daddy please don't again please!!!" Emma cried to the man.  Emma's father gulped down some Jim Beam Whiskey from a bottle and held a metal-spoon.  Just then, some sort of monster with green, slick skin and glowing-yellow eyes scurried out of the night.  It was bald and had long, gangly-limbs with red-claws, as sharp as knives.  It made an eerie high-pitched screech, plunging its one hand of claws into Emma's father's stomach.  He screamed in terror and was dead, as the thing screeched again, showing long and jagged, red-teeth.  The creature drug the body into the cold-dark.  "Are y'all alright Emma sweetheart?!" a lady rushed out the door, yelling.  "Yes Mama.  The Skin-Man just took Daddy!!" she replied and she and her mother both smiled as they heard a screech in the night.

What a TASTY TALE OF TERROR that was.  Emma's father couldn't STOMACH The Skin-Man in the end ha-ha-ha-ha!  The meal is ready boys and girls and don't worry, there are enough DEADSTICKS to go around until next issue heh-heh!
The Totem Pole

Come in here BOYS AND GHOULS.  This time of FEAR is starting with quite an INDIAN SUMMER FEAR-IOD eh heh-heh!  Well, an INDIAN SUMMER just so happens to be the TOPIC OF TERROR in our FABLE OF FEAR tonight hee-hee.  It's called...

It was a hot day out, in northeastern-Arizona, there was an old Native American Indian sitting beside a very tall totem pole next to his home back in 1955.  He carved a little wooden-stick with a knife and rocked in his rocking-chair.  He looked up, at the totem pole with a twinkle in his eye, smiling at it.  That evening, an American man arrived on the Indian reservation and got out of his automobile.  The American man walked up, to the home and looked inside the bedroom-window.  He saw the old man asleep in his bed.  He held a knife and got the window open.  The American got into the bedroom and woke the old Indian up.

"I have some bad news for you Mr. Redfeather.  I have to take all of your Tribe's treasures" the American man explained to him.  "Howgh sir, please, I-I intend give treasures to Grandchildren.  I live here seventy-one years!!!" the old man told the American, begging.  "Sorry Mr. Redfeather, not any longer" the man said and came at him with the knife.  Mr. Redfeather screamed, running out of his home and hid in his shed.  The burglar ran out of the home and saw the white totem pole move its carved-mouths and let out a horrifying, high-shriek, being alive.  The totem pole had ten faces with beaks for noses, painted-eyebrows of black, carved-eyes and ten sets of carved-bird-wings.  The thing was able to flap its wood-wings and move towards the burglar.

The American burglar screamed, running behind the house.  The living-totem pole shrieked terrifyingly in the night, as it moved quicker.  The burglar peeked and saw its ten pairs of eyes were suddenly shining an ominous-red as it found him.  He screamed as the totem pole shrieked, spewing out blackened-ooze from its mouths.  The crook was covered in it and screamed as it burned him.  Mr. Redfeather peeked out of his shed and saw that the American burglar had been murdered, with the ooze having burned him to death, making him nothing but a skeleton.  Mr. Redfeather rushed around his home, discovering his totem pole was back to normal again, standing still in the moonlight.

Ha-Ha, that crook really got a BONE-US in the end from that living-totem pole eh?  Good thing that Mr. Redfeather didn't know that his old totem pole WOOD do that for him either heh-heh.
Chicken Scampi Spaghetti

## Ingredients

* 2 oz. grated Parmesan
* 1 large Ciabatta loaf, cut into 1" dice
* 8 garlic cloves, minced
* 2 lemons, one quartered and the other zested and juiced
* 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
* 10 oz. spaghetti
* 8 oz. light cream
* 6 oz. butter

## Instructions

1. Preheat over to 400 and bring a large pot of water to boil to cook pasta, 7-9 minutes. Reserve 1 cup of pasta cooking water.
2. Meanwhile, place ciabatta pieces on foil-lined and sprayed cooking sheet. Toss with 2 Tbsp of olive oil, spread into single layer, and bake until toasted, 8-10 minutes.
3. Season both sides of chicken breasts with 1/4 tsp of salt and 1/4 tsp pepper.
4. Heat large pan over medium-high heat and add 4 tsp olive oil. Add chicken and cook until golden, 5-7 minutes per side. Once chicken is done, slice into think slices and set chicken aside.
5. In the same pan, add 4 tsp olive oil and garlic to cook until lightly toasted, 30-60 seconds. Add cream, butter, and 1/2 cup of the pasta water to bring to a boil.
6. Once boiling, add cooked pasta, 1/2 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp pepper. Stir until pasta is heated, 1 minute.
7. Remove from burner and if pan is dry, stir in 1-2 Tbsp of pasta water. Add chicken slices and stir in Parmesan, 1 tsp lemon juice, pinch of salt, ciabatta pieces, and 2 tsp of lemon zest.
8. Garnish with lemon zest, Parmesan, and squeezed lemon wedge. Serves four.
The Old Cabin

Ah, I just love taking a SLAYCATION.  I enjoy playing a game of volleyball out, on the LEECH and relaxing by the resort's GHOUL-SIDE heh-heh-heh-heh!  Speaking of getting away, our tale concerns a pair of siblings, going on their own Summer trip, with their parents...

A young couple were in a car together, with a boy and girl in the backseats, in June of 1947.  The young man drove in the backwoods of Virginia and looked at the young lady.  "We are almost there, Rose my dear!" he told her.  His wife looked back at him replying, "yay!  That is good it is hot down here, Alvin".  Rose glanced back at the children, smiling at them.  "We are almost to the cabin Samantha!" Rose told the girl.  "Wow, Mama!  We are almost there Harry!!" Samantha told the boy.  "Hurray!" Harry said.  Soon Alvin pulled up, to the the side of an old, old cabin.  "Welcome to our Summer vacation spot everyone!!" he said.  Ten minutes later, Rose was in the cabin-kitchen, slicing bread on the counter.

That evening, Samantha awoke to hearing a scratching-noise somewhere in the cabin.  She got out of bed and walked through the small hall, into the cabin-kitchen.  There, in the light of the moon, shining through the window, was a short figure, by the table.  The figure was a monster, with gray-flesh and a huge, long-mouth, which hung-open.  It also had: spikes all over its body and grey-gleaming eyes, with huge, white-teeth, jagged and sharp.  The beast saw little Samantha and showed her its black-claws, pointy and dagger-like in the moonlight.  It roared in a low-tone and Samantha screamed and screamed, rushing into the bedroom, where Rose and Alvin slept.  They awoke and Alvin held her tight and close to him.  "WHAT'S WRONG BABY GIRL???" they asked Samantha.  "A MONSTER'S IN THE KITCHEN DADDY!!!!" she replied, crying.  Alvin carried her to the kitchen, with Rose following close behind.  The creature had gone.  "Oh, baby girl, there is nothing to be afraid of.  For two-hundred years now, our kinfolk's been havin' that ol' creature as a pet in our cabin.  It looks spooky, but it protects all of us from intruders!" Alvin explained to his daughter.  As Alvin put Samantha down, he opened a bottle of Jack Daniel's Whiskey from on the table.  Samantha noticed five, huge, deep, claw-marks in the table.

Hee-Hee, well, it looks like there's a SKELETON in every family's CLOSET eh?  It was good of Alvin to explain it all to little Samantha.  It was the BEAST he could do ha-ha-ha-ha!
Mongolian Beef

## Ingredients

* 8 oz broccoli florets
* 2 garlic cloves, minced
* 4 green onions, trim and cut into 1/2" pieces
* 1 oz roasted peanuts, coarsely chopped
* 10 oz steak strips
* 3/4 cup Jasmine rice
* 1 oz soy sauce
* 1/2 oz light brown sugar
* 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes

## Instructions

1. Pat steak strips dry and season with a pinch of salt and pepper.
2. Bring a small pot with rice and 1 1/2 cup water to a boil. Reduce to a simmer, cover, and cook until tender, 18-20 minutes.
3. Meanwhile, toss broccoli with 2 tsp olive oil and a pinch of salt and pepper. Place broccoli on a foil lined and sprayed cooking sheet in single layer. Roast in oven at 400 for 14-16 minutes.
4. Heat 2 tsp olive oil in medium pan over medium-high heat.
5. Place steak in hot pan and cook undisturbed until browned, 2-3 minutes. Transfer steak to a plate.
6. In the same pan, add 1 tsp olive oil and garlic. Stir constantly until fragrant, 30 seconds.
7. Add soy sauce, brown sugar, and a pinch of red pepper flakes (to taste). Bring to a simmer, and stir occasionally until sauce thickens, 3-4 minutes.
8. Stir in steak strips, green onions, and broccoli. Cook until no pink remains on steak, 2-3 minutes.
9. Serve either on top of rice or have rice on the side. Garnish with peanuts.
The Vision

Come in kiddies and gaze DIE-RECTLY into my crystal ball.  The story that you'll see might be quite a GIP...GYPSY that is heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.  It is about a young hippie, who takes a rather TERRIFYING-TRIP aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.  I call this DREARY-DRAMA...

Back in June, 1970, a hippie drove his station wagon to a house somewhere in New Jersey one hot-evening.  "Crimson And Clover" by Tommy James And The Shondells was playing on the car-radio and he turned it off.  He rang the doorbell and another hippie came to the door.  "Hey, Tom, come on in man!" she invited him.  "Hey, thanks, Janet groovy!" Tom responded.  They went into the living-room and a few more hippies were in the room, smoking cigarettes and listening to a record of "Mr. Tambourine Man" by The Byrds.  "Hey, man, try this, hope ya have been cool lately" a hippie said to Tom.  "Hey, Wally, yeah thanks man.  Hope ya have been groovy too" he replied to him, taking a cigarette from Wally.  Tom smoked it and all of a sudden, the room went to psychedelic colors and then went to instant black.  It went quiet and Tom saw a tall figure coming towards him, with a white light shining around it.  The figure was a silhouette of Kermit The Frog, and Tom kept on smoking his cigarette.  "Hello Tom, the substance that you are smoking in the cigarette is called Psychedelic Breeze.  It opens up a spiritual doorway and I am a creature from within this realm" the Kermit The Frog silhouette explained to the young hippie, in a freaky-Kermit The Frog-voice.  "Far-out!" Tom said and the Kermit The Frog-like creature started growling deeply at him.  The Kermit The Frog-like creature yanked and pulled at its head.

Tom viewed in horror, as it tore its head directly off, dark-green goo spurting from its neck and severed-head.  "It doesn't hurt at all, Tom.  Don't lose your head now too!" the monster growled in a more intense freaky-Kermit The Frog-voice, as it dropped in tone.  The Kermit The Frog-like monster juggled its severed-head with the dark-green slime spraying everywhere in the white light surrounding it.  Then, the thing reattached its head with a crack and green-glowing eyes appeared on the thing.  As the monster growled and laughed in a deep-tone, Tom felt its slimy-fingers crawl up the side of his neck.  Tom screamed in horror and the surroundings changed back to Janet, Wally and three other hippies in the living room.  Tom was on the floor.  "Whoa Tom that Psychedelic Breeze is strong man.  Are you okay?" Wally asked him, helping him to his feet.  "Uh, yeah man.  Do not smoke that stuff Wally" he responded, wiping his eyes.  "Yeah, sorry about that man!" Wally told him.  Tom wiped the side of hie neck and found dark-green slime on it and his hand.

Ha-Ha, well it was just about SLIME that Tom woke up.  That Psychedelic Breeze really DRUG HIM ALONG eh, Kiddies?
The Chef Of Shivers

Oh hi there GHOULS AND BOILS!  I was just PRE-SCARE-RING a little CANDLEFRIGHT DINNER for my GHOULFRIEND and I.  The appetizer is a nice SCREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.  But our MAIN CORPSE is about a chef who DISHES OUT a little revenge of his own, I call...

Back in 1967, in a restaurant on a beach down, in Florida, a chef was back in the kitchen grilling shrimp.  On the radio up, on a shelf, The Beach Boys sang: "Surfin' U.S.A."  The cook sang along to the song and someone entered the kitchen, creeping around with a bag and pulled a knife off of the rack.  The crook saw the cook and when the chef eyed him suddenly and gasped, the crook made a struggle with him.  He stabbed the chef, killing him quickly and escaped out of the back door into the night.  Four years later, the burglar was in a home in Tampa, drinking a bottle of Cutty Sark Scots Whiskey, while listening to "Crimson And Clover" By Tommy James And The Shondells on a transistor radio.  The crook sat on his couch and heard someone in his kitchen.  "Who's there?  Get outta my house man!! Now!!!" he screamed, getting up and grabbing a baseball bat.

The footsteps were heavy and crossed the kitchen, the crook wide-eyed, guzzling his Cutty Sark.  What emerged from the kitchen was a very dead form of a hunch-back shadowy-shape.  The eyes were large and glowing an orange-red color.  In its shadowy-hands it held an old chef's pot.  The shape reached for the burglar, and it was a ghostly-zombie with its shadowy-hand in the light.  The hand was skeletal and covered with writhing-worms.

The crook screamed, hitting it with his baseball bat and knocking it off the figure, with a decayed-crack.  The form came into the light and it was the ghostly-zombie of the chef, with his hat missing and his rotting-skull gleaming.  He was also a skeleton and was rather transparent, as the rest of his white chef's uniform on him was covered in cobwebs.  The boney, decayed-hand of the ghostly-skeleton clutched the murderer's ankle tightly, the guy screaming and hitting it with his bat.  The zombie with his glowing-eye sockets of orange-red bent over and its rotting-limb reattached to him.  His hand then let go of the crook's ankle and drove directly into his chest.  "I am known now as The Chef Of Shivers sir!" the ghostly-zombie croaked in gagged, distorted-voice, maggots dropping out of his boney-mouth.  The crook screamed, as the dead chef twisted his hand in his chest, killing him.  Ten minutes later, the shadowy-form of the ghostly-zombie of the cook was wandering off from his assassin's house, creeping into the moonlight.  He held his old cook's pot, and inside it, was a fresh human-skull.

Well, talk about getting JUST DESSERTS eh, kiddies?  The crook is sure THE SLAIN DISH now hee-hee-hee-hee!
Crispy Dijon Chicken

## Ingredients

* 3 Tbsp Dijon mustard
* 2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
* 1/4 cup Panko breadcrumbs
* 4 oz light cream

## Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 400 and season both sides of chicken with pinch of pepper.
2. Use 2 Tbsp of the mustard to coat both sides of the chicken. Place coated chicken in panko to cover completely, pressing to adhere. Place chicken on a plate.
3. Heat 2 tsp olive oil in a medium pan over medium-high heat. Sear chicken until golden brown, 2-3 minutes per side.
4. Place seared chicken onto sprayed baking sheet with foil and then place into oven for 12-16 minutes.
5. Once chicken is done let it rest. Meanwhile, use a small pot or pan to bring cream to a simmer, cook until thickened for 2-3 minutes.
6. Remove cream from burner and swirl in 1 Tbsp of mustard. Serve sauce on top of chicken.

### Suggested Sides:

* Green beans
* Mashed Cauliflower
The Crypt Of Terror

Welcome to this EERIE-ISSUE FORTY-THREE OF CREEPS CASTLE, Children.  This is GORE HOST OF GHOSTS, CREEPS, COOKING CREEPY-CONCOCTIONS and REVOLTING-RECIPES heh-heh!  Let's start out with a rather GRAVE SITUATION, concerning some kids, who find themselves GROUNDED, entitled...

One Summer day back in 1970, two kids ran into a cemetery up, in New England.  The boys headed over to a mausoleum and one asked the other one, "hey, wanna see what the inside of a crypt looks like Jerry?".  "Sure, Kenny, let's see if we can get in" Jerry responded, eagerly.  Kenny and Jerry pulled on the door and it wouldn't budge.  Then suddenly, it opened a little.

They crept inside the tomb and saw a few caskets.  "Cool" they said and noticed a hole in the crypt-floor had a weird blue-light in it.  "Is someone trying to scare us Kenny?" Jerry asked him.  "Maybe Jerry" he repled.  They carefully crawled into the hole, seeing the light was from an underground-bar.  The boys reached the bottom of the ladder and there was only the bartender present.

"Welcome boys.  I am the bartender of this place" he introduced himself.  "Hello mister, you have a bar underneath a crypt?" Kenny asked him.  "Yes and I am mighty famished too" he said, swigging down a bottle of Old Kentucky Bourbon.  Then as the bartender grabbed a cleaver from the counter, the boys noticed he was a decayed-zombie coming for them in the blue light.  The corpse was a rotted-skeleton with long hair of gray on the sides of its otherwise bald skull.  It shuffled to Jerry in its red vest, dress-pants and black shoes.  Worms crawled over its white slleves and collar, as it gazed at Jerry with its glowing-orange eye sockets.  "I have become cannibal boy, and I have waited down here, dead for eighty years now!" the zombie told Jerry.  The skeleton blocked the ladder and the boys ran another way.  The zombie pursued them, laughing with a few old pieces of flesh falling from his jawbone.  Kenny and Jerry hid in a darkened tunnel beyond the bar.  The corpse shuffled into the darkness, holding the cleaver below its moldy-skull.

The boys backed up when it came close, seeing his glowing-eye sockets in the blackness.  The skeleton swung the cleaver at Kenny's throat and he gasped, as the blade missed by an inch.  The boys ran passed the zombie, Jerry's arm bumping it, causing the zombie's boney-arm to tear clean off.  The zombie shrieked, picked it up and chased them.  As Kenny and Jerry made it back to the ladder, the skeleton reattached its boney-arm and gripped Kenny's ankle, as they climbed up.  He screamed and the zombie laughed hysterically.  Kenny got loose and darted up, out of the hole.  As they heard the zombie yell in anger, the boys fled the crypt and closed the door.

   Ha-Ha, towards the end there, it didn't cost the zombie of the bartender an ARM AND A LEG...only an ARM aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.  He had to really GET A GRIP in the end too...on Kenny's ankle that is!  Well, Kenny and Jerry won't return to that crypt ever again, because they and the skeleton had quite A ROTTEN EXPERIENCE, with him having A BONE TO PICK WITH THEM heh-heh!
The Red Room

Hee-Hee, hello kiddies and welcome HACK!  This terror-trek, is about a man, who really is rather HOMEBOUND heh-heh!  I call it...

A man drove his car into the driveway of a white house on a day in Winter, 1961, in the country of west-Illionis.  On the car-radio, Buddy Holly sang "Everyday".  The man turned it off along with his car and went into the home.  He dialed a number on the telephone.  "Hello, Dad, I just got in my brand new home here.  Yes it looks beautiful and as white as the snow.  You and Mom can come in a few days for Christmas and see it" the man said.  "Alright, William, have a nice day unpacking and stay warm" an old man's voice said over the phone.  "Alright Dad thanks you stay warm too bye!" William replied and hung up.

William made a fire in the fireplace and sat down in a chair by it, looking out the parlow-window.  He got up, going down, into the cellar.  William looked around the basement and discovered a wooden-door.  Opening it, he found it was the entrance to a red room.  The walls were stone and stained a pure, bright-red.  William stood in there, glancing up, at the red-ceiling.  The place was small enough for only him to stand in.  Even the floor was an eerie red.

He returned upstairs.  That evening, William was in the kitchen, drinking a bottle of gin and he put it down and wandered to the cellar-door.  Opening it, he flicked the lights on and descended the stairs.  It was quiet, except for a bubbling-noise coming from in the red room.  William put his ear to the wooden-door, listening to the sound behind it.  He swung the wooden-door open, seeing a hole was in the red, stone-floor.  It bubbled with a white-fluid.  As William looked down, into it, a horrifying-face materialized in the liquid.  The face was also white, with solid-white eyeballs, no nose or ears and a huge mouth of sharp-fangs.  The head was bald and scaly.  The monster's hands and arms became visible, as white as its face.

The hands were scaly and clawed, reaching for William.  As the thing growled deeply, William screamed in horror and ran out of the house, driving down the country-road in the light, falling-snow.

I'd say that creature was a bit GROUNDED in the RED ROOM wouldn't you agree kiddies?  Talk about a nice HOUSE-WORMING GIFT Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!
Twas The Night Before Christmas

Oh there you all are kiddies.  It's that TIME OF FEAR once again.  And I have a little Christmas terror-tale for you to UNWRAP Hee-Hee!  So, gather around my HUMAN-MISTLE-TOE HANGING THERE and hear this one of THE CHRISTMAS CHOPPING-SEASON, I call...

In New York City, there was a store on a street-corner, on Christmas Eve of 1928.  The store had a "CLOSED" sign on the door and it was dark inside.  A Santa Claus dummy stood in the store-window, with a grinning-face and a jolly-wave.  As snow fell, a small girl ran into the store and hid underneath a table.

The door opened and an older bully ran in.  "Come on out.  No hiding on Christmas Eve girl" the bully called out, looking around the place.  The girl remained silent and the bully walked around.  When he stopped, he heard the sounds of boots and flicked-open his switch-blade knife.

The bully turned around and went to the door, finding it wouldn't open.  He discovered the Santa Claus dummy behind him, dressed in a green cloak and hood with white-trim and boots of black.  Its eyes of complete black glared down at him, and in the darkness, an ax rose in the air.

When the little girl heard the bully scream out in horror, she peeked out, seeing him fall to the floor dead.  She gasped and saw the Santa Claus dummy with the ax in its hand.  It caught her eyes with its own.  The dummy was alive and red slime oozed out of its black eyes as it began to laugh insanely and deeply.  She screamed when it approached her and she ran for the door.  As the slime oozed and gushed from its eyes, the thing put its hand on the girl, as she got the door open and fled.

Well, it sure became a SILENT NIGHT FOR THE BULLY eh, Kiddies?  He surely got what HE AXED FOR FOR CHRISTMAS didn't he?  Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!
The School Girl

Now to watch THE KILL OF FORTUNE, with your GHOST, me, CREEPS ha-ha-ha-ha.  The PUTRID PRIZES are, a SCARE OF SEVERED HEADPHONES, DEATHTIME free subscriptios  to GUIDE GHOST and NEWS SHRIEKLY MAGAZINES, a FEARS supply of SCREAMIUM SHAMBOO AND CONDITIONER, and a new CHEVY MALIBOO and GOREVETTE hee-hee.  All you kiddies have to do is spin the wheel for the FRIGHT TALE!  Ah, it landed on a NASTY-NUGGET I call...

There was an elementary school down in Tennessee, where a music teacher stood in front of a class, with a clarinet back in 1962.  "Alright Class, now to work on Schubert's Classic Ave Maria, uniquely played on our clarinets" the teacher announced and smiled.  "Ready?  One, two, three!" she eclaimed to the children, and they all started playing: "Ave Maria" on their clarinets along with their teacher on hers in the auditorium.  Later on that day, a little girl walked passed the auditorium, when she stopped, noticing another little girl in there.  The lights were off and the girl outside the auditorium tried to opening the double-doors.  They were locked. The other girl inside the auditorium wore a white dress and her long hair was black, with her also wearing white socks up her legs and white tap-dance shoes.  Her face was stark-white, the eyes being a solid-black.  She stood up, on stage and began to dance around, skipping about.  The other girl watched her, and the double-doors suddenly unlocked, opening on their own.

The girl walked into the auditorium and saw the other girl on the stage.  The girl whose skin was pale-white, began to sing "I'm A Little Teapot", and the other girl smiled, approaching the stage.  "Excuse me, hello" she said and the girl on stage quit singing and skipping.  "Oh, hello there.  I was the one who opened the doors for you.  I attended this school forty years ago.  I accidentally knocked over a lit-candle in a room behind the curtain in here, and when the fire began, I was locked in the room and died on account of it" the girl on stage explained.  "I loved performing on this stage here and still do each week!" she finished telling.  The ghost of the school girl kept on dancing again, skipping around stage, singing "I'm A Little Teapot" and her head ripped off, suddenly, causing orange-colored-slime to spray, squirt and ooze out of her neck and head.  The ghostly-body picked up its ghostly-head, continuing to skip around, holding it, as the slime oozed all over the place.  The other girl screamed at this sight of fright, running for it.  But then, the skipping and singing ceased, and the girl turned around, seeing the ghost was gone.

It became an AUDI-HORROR-RIUM in the school with the ghost and her slime heh-heh.  Well, I guess the phantom had plenty of STAGE FRIGHT, and it looks like it wasn't CURTAINS for her act either hee-hee-hee-hee.  Well, THE SCHOOL GHOUL certainly went A HEAD with her performance aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
The Haunt Of Fear

There you are kiddies, you've come HACK I see.  You're all very SHARP you know hee-hee-hee.  I've got a HORROR-TRAIT for you.  I believe it is a SEVERED-FINGER PAINTING, and just moved my PALETTE aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.  Let me BRUSH OFF this SPEW-BISM MONSTERPIECE, entitled...

A teenage boy drove his orange Chevy down a road in Illinois, back in 1977 one day.  He spotted a shack near the side of the country-road and he pulled over to it, as John Denver sang, Take Me Home, Country Roads on his Chevy-radio.  Suddenly, four teenage bullies in a car raced by on the road, shouting at the teen: "yo wussy, stay outta our way or we'll bust your head in!".  "Geesh!" the teenager said and saw an older man in the yard of the shack, smoking a cigar.  "Morning son, what can I do for you?" the older man said to the boy, asking with a friendly wave.  "Good morning sir, I see you have some items in your yard here" he replied with a friendly wave back.  "Yes son, I am having a yard sale today.  See anything you like so far?  Look around please" the guy proclaimed, approaching him.

"Thank you, I haven't seen anything yet" the teen said.  "I'm Andy Nailey by the way" the man introduced himself as.  "Nice to meet you, Mr. Nailey.  I'm Wally Armstrong!" the teen introduced himself as, shaking Andy's hand.  "Nice meeting you Wally" Andy responded.  Wally spotted a painting on a table of a grotesque woman with green-shining skin.  "How much for that?" Wally Armstrong asked Andy, pointing to the portrait.  "That is called The Haunt Of Fear and I'll give it to you for free, Wally" he spoke.  "Thanks a lot Mr. Nailey" he said.  That night, Wally was watching Sanford And Son on t.v. when he saw The Haunt Of Fear's small, solid-white eyes seem to to peer right at him from on the front room-wall.  She had an eerie-grin with sharp-yellow teeth.  Wally shuddered.

The teen bullies broke into his living-room suddenly, getting the door open with a switch-blade.  "Hey, my Parents are on a date tonight fellas!!" Wally explained to them in fear.  "Shut up Armstrong, we saw them leave.  We're gonna scalp ya like the Indians used to wussy" one bully answered, as they drank bottles of Ripple.  Three held Wally to his sofa and the other held the knife to his scalp.  The Haunt Of Fear now was behind the couch, and attacked the one bully by her, cackling like an old witch.  He screamed, as her sharp-teeth sunk deep, into his throat and her blackened-claws scraped his forehead, killing him.  With speed, the monster in her red-flowing dress, did the same thing to the other bullies, slashing their foreheads viscously with its claws and biting their necks with its pointed-teeth, cackling, as her long, grey hair covered their shocked-dead-faces.  The monster glared at Wally with its solid-white eyes, grinning-hauntingly and disappeared, fading out.  Wally noticed the painting was now bare on the wall.

Well, good thing The Haunt Of Fear HUNG AROUND...ON THE WALL THAT IS!  Those guys really got a PAINT IN THE NECK with that monster heh-heh-heh.
The Dragon Buffet

Welcome HACK to my CASTLE kids!  I, CREEPS, am just sitting down to a real GOREMET MEAL heh-heh!  On the menu tonight, are LEG ROLLS, SPLEIN-DIP, UNFORTUNE COOKIES and this SHRIEK'S STORY.  It's about how a young waiter is affected by the full-moon...

Over in Beijing, China, in May, 1888, there was a restaurant downtown.  The sign across the front of it read: "THE DRAGON BUFFET" on it.  Inside the place, Chinese people were sitting at tables, drinking tea and wine from cups and bottles as the chatted and laughed.  The waiter came out from the kitchen and carried a bottle of wine.  The waiter placed the wine on a table that a couple sait at.  "There you are sir and madam.  Please enjoy" the waiter told the couple, smiling.  "Thank you sir" they replied, grinning back at him.

The waiter returned to the kitchen and sat down in a chair, holding his head.  "It is time for me to journey home!" the young waiter told the cook.  "Alright.  Goodnight Yoshi" he replied, smiling.  "Goodnight Mr. Tang sir" Yoshi replied and left.  Yoshi walked home and walked to his downstairs-bedroom.  He began transforming, his face wrinkling.

The moon outside became full, up, in the dark-sky.  Yoshi came out of his room, in a black cloak and hood.  He covered his face, as he walked out of his home.  A crook smashed a window of The Dragon Buffet and crawled in.  In the dark, he held a lit-lantern and a creature gripped his neck.  The creature had a face that was wrinkly and red, with pure-black eyes.  The inside of its mouth was also pure-black with little fangs.  The thing was in a black cloak and hood, as it attacked the crook, biting at his flesh and deeply-growling.  The crook screamed, being bitten to death.

The creature leaped out the broken-window, running off growling.  Ten minutes later, Yoshi burst into his bedroom, looking into a mirror on the wall, revealing that he was the monster.  Outside, the full moon faded-out from a moving cloud.  Yoshi growled, transforming back into himself.  He panted and uttered to himself, "I am the ancient dragon!".

Well, looks like young Yoshi was really DRAGON HIS FEET.  Everything was alright, when he came out of the HOOD...AND CLOAK THAT IS Ha-Ha!  He was one heck of a waiter too.  His performance as a waiter was quite a MONSTERPIECE HEE-HEE!