The Professor

An image of The Professor from the first episode of Puppet History.

**The Professor** is a character created and played by Shane Madej that acts as the host of *Puppet History.*

## Physical Description

The Professor is a puppet with blue fur, a round yellow nose, and brown eyes. His range of facial expressions is limited, and Ryan Bergara has remarked that the Professor seems incapable of expressing happiness. He wears American Girl doll clothing, including a brown jacket with a red bow tie along with a brown hat; he has no pants. He also wears glasses, which often fall off when unsecured (after the first episode, the glasses are secured by tape). He carries a brown satchel which contains jellybeans. He occasionally does change his clothes and wears a leotard in season two.  The Professor is also objectively hot as hell.

The Professor is incapable of moving his arms or legs, as Shane is only able to control his body and mouth. The Professor says he does not have muscles in his arms.

## Diet

The Professor's diet includes jelly beans (which may or may not actually be his poop), chowder, spiders, sugar cubes, Starbucks, dolphins, mushrooms, and M&Ms (excluding the brown ones). He also drinks fiji water.

## Personality

The Professor is generally a bit sassy and gets very excited about history. He appreciates creativity and initiative, which sometimes leads to him giving arbitrary points to special guests (though it has been speculated that he does this to prevent Ryan from winning the Coveted Cup). The Professor has also recently revealed his hobby of raising spiders (similar to the way we raise chickens for protein).

Much like Shane Madej, The Professor seems to have very definitive opinions on pop culture. In the episode "The War of the Golden Stool," the Professor calls guests Ryan Bergara and Kate Peterman "cultureless" after they reveal they've never seen the animated series *Avatar: The Last Airbender.* In the episode "Ziryab: The World's First Rock Star," he tells Ryan and Zach Kornfeld that he is a fan of Harry Styles, but found his role in *Dunkirk* underwhelming.

## Life History

Little is known for certain about the Professor's backstory. He canonically attended and holds a degree from Puppet University, or P.U. We also know that at some point, he came upon a magical genie who turned one of his belongings into a "secret time machine" (which the Professor came to deeply regret). It can be presumed that he spent much of his life traveling through time and meeting various historical figures. By his own admission, all this time travel has skewed his perception of time to the point where he doesn't know his own age.

When asked by Ryan Bergara in the episode "The Affair of the Poisons" if he had a family, the Professor responded ominously, "I don't know," as an echoey, high-pitched voice was heard saying, "Papa, I want a jellybean!" It remains unclear whether the voice is the Professor's own (long ago, as a child), or perhaps the voice of one of the Professor's own children.

### Genie

In multiple episodes of Puppet History, [citations needed] the Professor has made mention of a genie that he has regretted dealing with, calling it unfair and cruel. It seems that the Professor has run out of wishes, using one of them on the ability to time travel. This is a decision that he vehemently regrets; as demonstrated by his angry rants. He most often makes mention of the genie in the form of one of the multiple choice options. When reading the option, he goes on an angry tirade, using it as a way to vent his frustrations.

In the Season Four finale, "The Demonic Possessions of Loudon", the Professor has his powers taken by the Genie when Ryan Bergara makes a deal with the Devil. This was executed with the help of the demon Asmodeus, who possesses the Professor. He is killed once the Genie sends him to the Cretaceous Period, and his portal opens above the mouth of a dinosaur.

#### Imposter

In the first episode of Season 5, "How Hippo Meat Almost Saved America", the Professor appears once again as host of the show, saying that Ryan's attempt at murdering him didn't work since "clearly, I am here now, and unharmed." He also says that he "won't be answering any questions because there aren't any questions to be answered."

The Professor's appearance and behaviour in Season 5 is suspicious - he is a lighter blue than usual, he refuses to be touched (backing away from and hissing at Ryan when he tries to), and in certain scenes he appears to glitch, even once accidentally referring to himself as a hologram. His behaviour towards Ryan in particular is especially strange, staring at him for long periods of time and once saying "Flesh..." whilst doing so.

There is also a box with a lightning symbol on it connected to the theatre, which the Professor also doesn't want touched or mentioned. After Ryan and Sara Rubin bring the box up in episode 1, it appears with chains around it in following episodes.

In every current episode of Season 5, Ryan has won, however the Professor says that they have no trophies and instead gives him Puppet Moisturiser, encouraging him to apply it at the end of every episode. In the penultimate episode, "The Bloody Life of England's Fastest Surgeon", Ryan receives puppet vape for his win, a puff of which causes him to pass out.

In the post credit scene of the penultimate episode, the Professor has Ryan tied up and reveals to him that he is actually the hologram of the Professor from the holiday special, "The Puppet History Holiday Spectacular". The approximation of the souls of the Puppets that are in Purgatory were allowed, by God, to send one representative to reality in order to undo everything. The puppets chose to send the hologram, who, once in the real world, became obsessed with being corporal. He planned to skin Ryan and wear his skin in order to feel, so that he can use the genie lamp to wish for "a soul, for all food on Earth to be jellybeans, and for all living creatures to be turned into puppets." The episode ends with the Professor, who's full name we learn is Concupiscence "Connie" McNasty, jumping on Ryan from behind with a scalpel.

## Species

The Professor has stated that he is cousins with Cookie Monster and that the Blue Man Group are his kind, but shaved.

## Nicknames

Professor McNasty - Special guest Jermaine Fowler guessed this name in Season 1, Episode 4 "The Dancing Plague". In response, the Professor stated "That's close. I am a little nasty". When asked by special guest Kate Peterman in the Season 2, Episode 1 "How America's First Female Detective Saved Abe Lincoln", Ryan Bergara states the Professor's legal name is not McNasty.

## Notable Relationships

It can be inferred that the Professor has a working relationship with Ryan Bergara, given the latter's status as the only permanent guest on the show. The Professor appears to be aware of Shane Madej's existence, and of Madej's status as his puppeteer; however, in the episode "The Affair of the Poisons," the Professor states that he does not know and has never met Madej.