Thomas Patton

From Wikimerica, the United States encyclopedia

**Thomas Oswald Patton** (April 1, 2030 - September 27, 2078) was an American politician who served served as the 66th President of the United States from 2067 to 2069 and was the only non-human in American history to serve as President or in High Office with the exception of Joshua Wellspring. He was also the 67th Vice President of the United States from 2065 to 2067.

His Administration is described as the most unusual in American history and the Supreme Court's decision that he was allowed to serve as Vice President helped fuel discontent towards the branch. Thomas Patton presided over a world at relative peace, but still rebuilding and scared from World War Three. Despite being legally President Patton mostly only preformed ceremonial Presidential duties as he took almost no executive actions during his year and a half as President.

Thomas Patton is remembered fondly by most as after Congress failed to impeach him. The American people began to warm up to him and accept his status as President. Seen as a pleasant replacement to his predecessor, Walter Copan. Patton died on September 27, 2078 and was buried at Arlington national cemetery before being relocated to the Hall of the Presidents in 2146. His state funeral was attended by President Richard Ojeda and Former Presidents; Kiran, Kennedy III, Hillquit and Hersey.

Historians nearly never rank Patton on Presidential lists and when he is he is placed in the middle tier of Presidents most generally.

## Early Life

Thomas Patton was born in Phoenix, Arizona to dogs later named Jasmine and Julius Patton. At the age of 5 he was found by Pacifica Industries CEO Walter Copan and brought to live with the billionaire. He lived with Copan for most of his life.

## Vice Presidential Campaign

Patton had no formal schooling and lived in obscurity until Walter Copan filed him as his running mate with the FEC in the 2064 Presidential Election. While bringing some attention it was overall overlooked and went mostly ignored, other novelty candidates had filled with the FEC before without consequence. That lasted until December 14, 2064 when members from the Electoral College met and cast their majority vote for Walter Copan for President and Thomas Patten for Vice President, despite Copan not having won the Presidential Election their vote was legally binding and those names were send to Congress for certification. Vice President Calvin Hamel initially rejected this and refused to certify the election for Copan citing faithless elector laws and Patton's inability to serve.

This quickly faced lawsuit and jumped immediately to the Supreme Court where the Court voted against the Vice President both times, with the majority opinion being that electors are not bound to vote for the winner of the popular vote in any specific state and that the electors who voted for them had no laws preventing them from doing so in those states and declaring that the Constitution had no prohibition against animals serving in office and since Thomas Patton was legally 35 years old at the time of his election he was eligible to serve. The court sent down their ruling to Congress and the results were finally certified on January 10, 2065.

## Vice Presidency

Thomas Patton was sworn in as Vice President of the United States at 12:00 Noon January 20, 2065

During his time as Vice President he presided once and never cast any tie breaking votes. There were several calls to impeach him from office but they went mostly ignored when overshadowed by the calls for Copan's removal.

### Assassination Attempt

On the same day President Walter Copan was assassinated, a secret service agent was caught attempting to feed Vice President Patton an unmarked pill he claimed was to "make the Vice President more docile". The pill was confiscated and found to contain Acetaminophen, something known to be poisonous to dogs. He was arrested and relived of duty but this incident helped build up conspiracy theories regarding Walter Copan's death.

## Presidency (2067-2069)

### Death of Walter Copan

Walter Copan was killed on July 4, 2067 by a crazed White House Aid, angry at his blatant theft of the Presidency. Patton was staying at the Number 1 Naval Observatory at the time of Copan's death.

### Inauguration

After Copan died there was some uncertainty if Patton would become President at all, with many Democrats in the House and the Speaker advocating that the line of succession should skip over Patton and go straight to Hudson. Speaker Hudson believing he would become President went to the White House to wait for the Chief Justice to arrive.

There was controversy when it was learned that Secret Service intentionally escorted Speaker of the House Jed Hudson to the White House before the order was given to escort Vice President Patton to the White House as well, leading to further conspiracy that Secret Service planned to violate Article II Section 1 of the Constitution by skipping over the Vice President to swear in the Speaker of the House.

Eventually Chief Justice Gates arrived at the White House and to many's shock he walked over to Patton to swear him in, he was stopped before he could begin the oath and was asked why he wasn't skipping Patton. His response was "I don't like this any more than you do, but he is next in line, I cannot break my constitutional oath, even now." he ask Patton to place his paw on the Holy Bible and began to recite the oath of office.

Patton barked back the oath and he officially became President of the United States.

### Administration

The Patton Administration, despite it's unheard of character, saw an increase in it's popularity when compared to the hatred and near zero percent approval rating Walter Copan had during his administration.

Thomas Patton began his administration with a 2% approval rating and by it's end had a 52% approval rating.

Patton took nearly zero executive actions as President and was seen as overly hands off.

#### Impeachment

Just days after taking office congress introduced articles of against President Patton on the basis of his inability to Properly discharge his duties as President because of the fact he is a canine and is incapable of understanding and acting as President.

The articles of Impeachment easily passed in the house and Patton was impeached on July 13, 2067.

Initially it was seen]m that the senate would unanimously pass his conviction and he'd be removed. Speaker of the House Jeb Hudson would then assume the Presidency.

By the time the articles reached the Senate however many Republicans began to fear that once Patton was ousted, the new President who was a Democrat would begin walking back the tax cuts signed during the Copan Administration, many in the GOP decided that it was worth keeping a dog in the White House to avoid seeing Hudson take over. On July 25th House Majority Leader Andrew Cans stated he would not support the removal of Patton. This sparked outrage at what was seen as blatant obstructionism, however he remained unchanging on his stance.

The Senate voted on acquit President Patton on July 31, 2067 by just 2 votes. Right after the verdict a second impeachment inquiry was filled but it never saw any success.

#### Second Assassination Attempt

On August 24, 2068 President Patton was attending an annual meeting of NATO Leadership being held in Berlin, Germany. Patton was staying at the Berlin Square Hotel when while leaving the Hotel a crazed man shot the President as he was heading into the Beast. The man was identified as Henrich Swazana. His reasoning for doing so was a belief that a "beast" being allowed to run the most powerful Nation on Earth was a sign of the end-times. Patton was rushed to the Hospital and had the bullet removed from his body. He managed to recover and returned to the United States by August 30th.

### Compromised Secret Service

On October 4, 2068, Congress would open an investigation into the Secret Service's role in the death of Walter Copan. Congress also accused the secret service of plotting and attempting to murder then Vice President Patton by feeding him poison. The Secret Service Investigation Committee found several irregularities and points of interest:

1. Joshua Dancer was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and psychosis yet was still allowed to remain a Presidential aid and consistently close to the President.
2. When President Copan stepped off Marine One, his secret service detail moved farther away from him than they usually would for the President meaning when Dancer stabbed him it took longer for Secret Service to restrain him.
3. Subpoenaed texts between two Secret Service agents reveal that they hated the President and quote on quote "were hoping to see him go like Kennedy".
4. An hour before Copan was stabbed, the director of The Secret Service suddenly demanded that the Vice President's detail change every agent out at once. He also demanded that the Vice President not be fed any dog food brought in from the last week.
5. Secret Service escorted Speaker of the House Andrew Cans to the White House before they did the Vice President.
6. Vice President Patton had become irate and started barking at an agent who was caught trying to feed him an unmarked pill.

Eventually four men serving in the secret service were arrested but a wider conspiracy or motive was never uncovered.

#### Secret Service distrust

Throughout his Presidency, Patton seemed to show the same kind of distrust in his secret service detail as did his master and predecessor Walter Copan. Patton would often run from his own agents depending on which agents approached him. In November, 2068 it was reported by the New York Times that Patton would wander the halls of the White House at night and would actively growl at members of his detail. He showed almost no trust in them and would frequently freak out if put into a room where secret service outnumbers the other occupants' of any given room he was in.

### Final days as President

Patton would spend his final few days as President quietly before attending the inauguration of Vincent Kiran and entering Marine One, leaving Washington D.C. for Arizona.

## Legacy and Death

His Presidency is often remembered as an anomaly, something that came out of nowhere and could not have been anticipated. Historians generally do not rank Patton on official lists but when they do list him as above average and always higher than his predecessor.

He would leave office after one term with an approval rating of 52% and pass away on September 27, 2078.

## Honors, Monuments and Memorials

Thomas Patton has several memorials dedicated to him. Most built post-doomsday. The Patton Center Monument in Washington D.C. was built in 2203 and attracts annually 13,000 visitors a year.

1. ↑ Thomas Patton had no Vice President during his Presidency.