Uncle Lance

**Character Name** is Uncle Lance.

## **Biography**

This Character is played by Gabe.

He threw his hip out in Nam. He hasn't been bested by the Canadians in 33 years. He has a taste for Mtn Dew, he doesn't drink water because the Illuminati put Ninjas in the water. Lance sailed to America with his boy Christopher.

## **Lance's Teachings**

### **Wibbly Doo**

The Wibbly Doo is indigenous to the land where Lance is from. Nobody knows what it wibbly does it just do.

### **FBI**

#### ***Canada***

The Canadians coat the Telephone poles with Maple syrup to prevent normal citizens from tapping into the FBI.

### **Geese**

They are a Hive mind trying to take over the Government.

### **Snim Shamity Snoopda**

Its called a Snim Shamity Snoopa because Snim Shamity would use it to snoopda on people. He is also known for using the Snoopda to snippity snap on people.

### **Gravity**

School's teach when Gravity acts against a man your legs hold you up but indeed this is false.

Editors Note, This article covers currently up to 13:36 of Project Lance

## **Character Connections**

* Phil (Nephew)
* Simon (Nephew)
* Illuminati Ninja (Sworn Enemy)
* Boy 2 (Neighbor)
* Boy 3 (Neighbor)

## **Appears In**

* lancevlog.mov
* Project Lance
* Lance Visits DC

## **Trivia**

* He's everyone's Uncle
* Most (If not all) of his lines are completely improved on the spot.

## **Quotes**

* Use your boy muscles
* Do you wanna say hello?
* I'm teaching you about nature boy, I'm the real nature boy. (Source)
* See this tree here its made of wood. You wanna know what wood is? On the outside there is bark that means, it's a, it's a relative of the dog. Cuz Dogs bark I'm not sure if you knew that son. (Source)
* It just goes Pfooof. That goes at your enemy, or your target, or whoever, your son maybe. I'm not sure if you have family issues but uh. (Source)
* Sometimes you gotta get a plunger and the handle to just jam it in there. (Source)
* Hold on a minute! They jimmy rigged it. With Maple syrup those DANG CANADIANS! (Source)
* Before I throw my hip out. Like I did in 'Nam. (Source)
* That is the Native American Indians coming in on our location. My bad, it was just geese. (Source)
* I'm sorry Uncle I did not mean to disrupt the peace of your family. Please don't kill me from the afterlife, also known as the retirement home. (Source)
* See these trees boy? These are the sycamore trees of Raekwon the Sun Dragon. Raekwon early on in the stages of development of this new world. Came down and looked at us disgusting human beings and like "They need a tree there." So he with a breath of fire let down a roar down onto. He like. He just went Hah. And all the sudden trees sprouted from the ground. They had wisdom. Each leaf on this tree you eat. You die. But at the same time you receive enlightenment. Suicide is only the answer. To wisdom. (Source)
* Alright you convinced me I wont do the crying. I'm not a fe- I'm not a female. Ow! Although I do like to do my nails that is quite nice. (Source)
* Looks like there are some Illuminati ninjas in there. (Source)
* I'm like Joseph out here with my many colored coat of Flannel. (Source)
* Do you think if a Dog was a magician he'd be considered an abracalabrador?