The Milf, the Mime and the Maniac

**The Milf, the Mime and the Maniac** is the first episode of Pokémon Sun and Moon Abridged. It released on December 5, 2016.

## Blurb

Welcome to the Alola region! Ash is starting his brand-new journey, and along the way, he'll meet some friends, new Pokémon and more! Or will he?

## Plot

The episode opens on a beach located on Melemele Island. Delia Ketchup and her husband, Mr. Mime are relaxing under an umbrella, discussing how they're glad to finally be rid of their son, when Ash Ketchup and Pikachu runs up to the couple happy to have located them. Angrily surprised to see their son, Ash's mother goes on to explain that he was should to be with Professor Oak, who was supposed to be babysitting him. This leads into a flashback that reveals his parent's plan for abandoning him.

The three family members are next seen riding a Tauros carriage, and Ash's mother complains about the fact that he's carrying "Tauros shit" (which is really an egg given to him by Professor Oak) around with him. Seeing a fruit market the group decides to stop and Ash's mom looks for a fruit with a giant pit so she can induce her son to choke. Ash runs off saying he's going exploring and Mr. Mime tells his wife to goto to their hotel room, implying something suggestive.

Ash is next seen in the forest with his best friend and partner, Pikachu and the two are seen tired and scared, as they had just outrun a "killer clown". Pikachu makes note of the fact that Ash provoked him by throwing a rock at it. They push forward and leave the forest only to end up seeing a large facility they mistake as a restaurant play park.

Ash and Pikachu notice a girl (Lillie) standing with a group of Pokemon, who are standing in front of them a little way's off. As they both dash off to flirt with them, they don't realize the fact that they've run straight onto a Tauros racing track, and Ash is trampled by Mallow, Sophocles, and Lana on Tauros. Lillie approaches Ash to see if he's alright, but he quickly gets up and asks her out to dinner, to which Lillie frantically responds that she doesn't know him (then reluctantly adds that she did see his Tinder profile and liked it.) The three riders also quickly halt and dismount to check if Ash is okay. Mallow is willing to offer something in compensation for the incident, as she wants to avoid her third lawsuit that month from similar events. Ash's accepts the offer, that he be given any "eggs" laid by the Tauros.

Lana abruptly proceeds to ask Ash if he's "single and ready to mingle", but Mallow assumes he's a new student. Ash claims neither, and simply says "I'm Ash Ketchup, and I'm looking for babes!" The facility is then revealed to be a school. Mallow then drags him off to show him the school. As Lillie and Lana watch the pair go, Lana comments how the Mallow and Ash seem to have already formed a relationship, to which Lillie responds negatively, expressing that "she liked him."

As Ash briefly explores the school with Mallow, he is quite impressed, and he remarks it would be even better if his parents were there. Five seconds later he opens a door, and much to their dismay, he find them. His mother furiously asks him why he's also at the school and Principal Oak comes up to the group and greets Ash by mistakenly calling him Satoshi, and then Sascha.

The group is then seen gathered in a small room conversing. A video call between Principal Oak and his cousin, Professor Oak, is being held and Samson thanks his cousin for sending him the "air freshener". At this point Mallow chips in that she would like to continue showing Ash the school, and the two set off to see the classroom. Ash enjoys the view but is anxious to go play down in the courtyard, but Mallow suggests the two just "play with each other" up there. They are shortly thereafter interrupted by Professor Kukui who questions the pair on what they were up to. Mallow remarks to Ash how excited she is at the arrival of her teacher, calling him the "sexiest" in the school. Professor Kukui proceeds to notify them that the entire school is talking about the two of them and that he received a text asking when their wedding was going to be held. In response Ash explains he hasn't proposed to Lillie yet, and he believes Mallow is too scared to propose to Lana; a belief that infuriates Mallow.

At the very moment Ash notices that Team Skull and Kiawe are facing off in the street and the trio goes off to investigate. Meanwhile down in street Kiawe warns the group of delinquents that they should leave the premise if they don't want any trouble. Ash and friends arrive and Mallow explains to him that the three troublemakers were former students that got expelled for starting a fire at the school with their meth-lab. Seeing the children openly taunt Kiawe inspires Ash to run out into their midst as commands them to stop "cyberbullying" Kiawe.

A confused Kiawe asks Ash who he is, and after clarifying, the duo team up to challenge Team Skull. Kiawe sends out Gamera while Ash order Pikachu. Using the Pokémon they purchased at Petco, Team Skull fights back. Pikachu dashes, striking down his opponents. Fireballs are launched back at him, but he jumps into the air (at Ash's command) only to have the fireballs hit his trainer. As a finisher, Kiawe performs a Z-move with Gamera, leading to a large ball of fire that leads to a three-foot crater, and the opponent's Pokémon being left alive, albeit in an unconscious state.

Filled with fear, Team Skull recall their partners and run off on their bikes, claiming that they will return. Joyful of his victory, all of Ash's new friends run out of congratulate him. Professor Kukui, who was watching from a distance, approaches as and express his impression. Ash is vividly excited, when suddenly a rock or coconut comes out out nowhere, impacting his skull and knocking him unconscious.

The next morning, Ash is on a video call with his mother, who has returned to the Kanto region. Ash excitedly tells his mother about the night before, remarking he can't even remember which girl he was with. His mother seems to express mutual joy with her son, but goes on to warn him not to make her a grandmother at her age. Ash then confronts her on the fact that left him behind in the Alola region, but she shrugs out of it, going on to jokingly complain about the fact his father his stopped wearing clothing. A terrified Ash runs off to avoid seeing his father's genitals again.

The episode closes with the narrator reflecting on what will happen next in the life of Ash as he begins this new adventure, only being certain that it will be extremely ridiculous and absurd.

## Major Events

* Ash Ketchup arrives in Alola.
* Ash meets his friends and is enrolled in Pokémon School by his mother.
* Team Skull meets and battles Ash for the first time.

## Characters

* Ash
* Mallow
* Lana
* Lillie
* Sophocles (does not speak)
* Kiawe
* Professor Kukui
* Pikachu
* Principal Oak
* Team Skull
* Popplio
* Turtonator
* Bounsweet
* Togedemaru
* Salandit
* Yungoos
* Zubat

## Trivia

* This episode was written in less than 24 hours by both DeWarioFreak and TheCodingGamer
* This episode was later re-released on YouTube with Episode 2 combined, on July 17, 2017 in a 1-2 episode version.
	+ This was due to the original temporarily being gone due to copyright.