A Battle of Wits and an Inconceivable Outcome

**742 BCE / XI Ann. Ab Urbe Condita**

*It is often an occurrence where the Gods come to stand upon the mortals of the human realm and engage in familiarity. During one such occasion, Pluto had met his match in shadowplay.*

*In the Derheim Woods, to the far South West of the world, lay a small village in-which two Magi lay captive. Eager to save two followers of his dear friend and homemaker, Trivia, Pluto freed the imprisoned Magi. Much to his surprise however, the warden of the prison, a maiden by the name of Paige, demanded payment... And thus Pluto offered it in the form of a duel. A duel of wits. The God King of the Dead conjured forth a fine Cyprus table and laid upon it two goblets of mysterious liquid and invited the maiden warden to sit with him*

**The Battle Of Wits:**

***Pluto:*** *"Inhale this, but do not touch.*

*"* **The Maiden:** *"I smell nothing."*

***Pluto:*** *"What you do not smell is called iocaine powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadlier poisons known to man."*

***The Maiden:*** *"Hmm.*

*"* ***Pluto:*** *"All right: where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right and who is dead.*

*"* ***The Maiden:*** *"But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I’m not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.*

*"* ***Pluto:*** *"You’ve made your decision then?"*

[11:04 AM]

***The Maiden:*** *"Not remotely. Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.*

*"* ***Pluto:*** *"Truly, you have a dizzying intellect*

*."* ***The Maiden:*** *"Wait till I get going! Where was I?"*

***Pluto:*** *"Australia.*

*"* ***The Maiden:*** *"Yes — Australia, and you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.*

*"* ***Pluto:*** *"You’re just stalling now.*

*"* ***The Maiden:*** *"You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong. So, you could have put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard which means you must have studied. And in studying, you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.*

*"* ***Pluto:*** *"You’re trying to trick me into giving away something — it won’t work —*

*"* ***The Maiden:*** *"It has worked — you’ve given everything away — I know where the poison is.*

*"* ***Pluto:*** *"Then make your choice.*

*"* ***The Maiden:*** *" I will. And I choose — what in the world can that be?!?!"* *The Maiden switches the goblets...*

***Pluto:*** *"What? Where? I don’t see anything.*

*"* ***The Maiden:*** *"Oh, well, I-I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.*

*"* ***Pluto:*** *"What’s so funny?*

*"* ***The Maiden:*** *"I’ll tell you in a minute. First, let’s drink — me from my glass, and you from yours.*

*"* ***Pluto:*** *"You guessed wrong."*

[11:06 AM]

***The Maiden:*** *"You only think I guessed wrong… that’s what’s so funny! I never actually drank! Ha-ha, you fool. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is “Never get involved in a land war in Asia.” But only slightly less well known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ahahahaha, ahahahaha, ahahaha.*

*"* ***Pluto then passed out and laid in Tartarus for an entire year before waking up again...***