Wizard 29

**Chapter 29**

Suddenly, we're somewhere else, with two people we've never met before. These are Rachel and Princess Violet, whom I shall refer to as PV to avoid having to type “Princess Violet” a hundred times. Anyway, PV slaps Rachel just because she can, therefore establishing herself as Evil. \~/

PV is trying on her mothers jewelry, and Rachel, her designated playmate, is helping her. PV is cruel and cuts Rachel's hair short and jagged so people will think she is ugly. She's basically a spoiled brat, the rarely-seen counterpart to the traditional Storybook Princess.

PV messes with her mother's “favorite object,” which is a jewel-covered golden box. Hmm...have we heard of a queen in possession of a valuable box? Methinks we have. Rachel is horrified, since no one is supposed to touch the Forbidden Box (then why isn't it locked in a vault or something?). PV orders Rachel to clean up, gives her another slap, and leaves.

Wizard Giller comes in...remember him? He was Kahlan's pet wizard before he abandoned her to serve a queen. He wears silver robes and has a hooked nose, a pointed white beard, a bald head and dark eyes. I now know Giller's appearance better than I do Richard's. That's sort of pathetic.

Despite his earlier betrayal, Giller is sympathetic to Rachel and comforts her when he learns how mean PV is. He gives her a “trouble doll,” which is a doll with short blonde hair (like Rachel's) that talks to her. She tells it that PV says she's ugly, and the doll says *“I love you.”* Personally, I find that more creepy then comforting, but then I'm not a prepubescent girl...or whatever age Rachel is supposed to be.

Giller's voice apparently sounds like Brophy's. Wasn't Brophy the guy Denim Nascar framed for killing a kid? I see what you did there, Mr Goodkind!

Rachel isn't allowed to have a doll, but sometimes PV punishes her by making her sleep outside, and she has a secret place out there. Giller promises to leave Rachel's doll, along with a magic fire-starting stick, somewhere where she can find it. Rachel runs off to harass the kitchen staff, then hangs around watching the important people eat...apparently there's some sort of banquet going on. “Father Rahl” is mentioned several times.

Oh, PV is fat, by the way. The queen (it's Queen Milena, of course) is also fat, and she has a bad-tempered little dog that sounds like a chihuahua. No clichés here, nosirreebob! \~/

There's an unimportant bit about *“the drink of enlightenment”* (short version: the cook spilled it, so he faked it and told the queen he'd made it stronger, and she bought it), then an Honest Farmer is dragged in in chains. He complains that all his food has been stolen and his children and cold and hungry. The queen calls him a selfish leech because he refused to share his wealth with the less fortunate. Our Honest Farmer rails against the decadence and injustice of the queen, who has a jolly good laugh at his expense.

Basically, we have our second strawman political argument here. The queen and her court support spreading the wealth around, whether it be welfare or socialism, since they lose nothing and gain much. The Honest Farmer, of course, represents the hard-working capitalist or small businessman, who is being unfairly deprived of his livelihood to support those too lazy to work for themselves. \~/ It's fairly uninteresting, and merely establishes the queen and her court as Evil (in case you had any doubts).

Queen Milena defers judgment of the Honest Farmer to PV, who declares “off with his head!” That's an actual quote, by the way. \~/ Rachel says that PV is cruel, and is “punished” by being forced to sleep outside. She grabs her trouble doll and fire stick and heads out past the guards “like a breath through fangs.” She is watched by dark eyes. This is supposed to be Mysterious!, but it pretty much has to be Giller.

This chapter ends with Zedd pissed off because...apparently something isn't where it was supposed to be, and his “intricate web of shields” has been wrecked. There are troops everywhere, including some dead D'Harans that Zedd has apparently killed. He believes that “It had to be Darken Rahl who had taken it.” I'm not sure what all the mystery is about, since it seems that Zedd was looking for one of the magic boxes, but (of course) Rahl already has it.

And Zedd leaves us with the uplifting thought that “Nothing is ever easy.”

Drinks: 2

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