Sarah Radish

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## General

Sarah Radish is a main character in *The Story,* serving as the femme fatale, or dangerous woman, of the cast. She made a brief appearance in Season 1, later officially joining the main cast during Season 3 where she became a huge presence over the course of the year. Clever and conniving, she is a rather formidable woman with a love of chocolate and hunky men that borders on the extreme.

## Personality

Sarah is very cunning and intelligent, often the brains behind a lot of the schemes that unfold during the Seasons. She effectively stole the role of "dangerous woman" away from Amber, who stopped serving her dual-purpose role of sparkly diva and volatile hothead in the beginning of Season 3. Sarah doesn't stand for any form of sass or insulting and is fully prepared to counter all of it a thousand fold. Being as intelligent as she is, she also cannot stand idiocy and often berates the other characters for their foolish actions or decisions. While she always tries to be graceful and elegant to distance herself from the buffoonery in the house, this is proven to be just an act that drops rather quickly at the first inconvenience. She has been shown to be quite athletic with a surprising amount of agility and coordination- something that lends itself to her skills with handling various weaponry- but this is wildly inconsistent and she likely has a high chance of hurting herself depending on the stunt she's trying to pull. Not afraid of mischief, she is more than happy to break the law to ensure her plans succeed and has actually evaded arrest on more than one occasion. She is also extremely flirtatious, often trying to seduce other men (Kyle Prow and Johnny Depp being two recurring love interests) or present herself in ways not suitable for children. Nathan often comments on how she "threatens the age rating" of the novel with her succubus-like antics. In Season 3, she became such an overwhelming presence with her charm and tenacity that she quickly took over the entire year, hosting a variety of talk shows, creating her own marathon chapter, and even getting her own spinoff series that continued until the end of the novel. To summarize, Sarah is the kind of woman you'd want on your side and be very afraid to have as your enemy.

## Physical Description

Sarah is a short woman of curvaceous, busty build with black, rectangular glasses and long brown hair. In the novel's official artwork, she wears a red t-shirt with green hems coupled with blue shorts and black shoes. Her redesign instead has her wearing jeans and a red hoodie that has devil horns on the hood. Her main color is red, and anything she owns typically is of the same color. She has been known to dress up in more extravagant outfits from time to time and sometimes even dons full disguises that come with their own unique names and personalities, such as Latisha McBride from *Ringmasters* or Quaznie Kokador from the chapter of the same name.

## History

### *Conception*

Sarah is based off of a longtime friend that I have known since I was eight years old. She first appeared in my second story ever, *Fighting Frights*, where she had a few lines of dialogue alongside Zack. She went on to appear in many other comics and stories, being a constant, reoccurring person in my life. At one point though, main antagonist Mr. Kill used a strange power to turn both her and Zack evil, forcing them to join his side and leave Nathan's main team.

### *In the novel*

When *The Story* finally came to be, it wasn't until Season 3 that she actually joined the main characters in their adventures. Her debut was actually at the very beginning of Season 1 where she randomly appeared before Nathan claiming to have escaped the evil brainwashing by using a time-traveling device. After this, she briefly joined the characters on their mission to infiltrate Mr. Destro's lair, participating in both the mission briefing and thorough search of the premises before eventually disappearing from the novel completely. When Season 3 arrived, she reappeared as a background character during FlamDawg's play but soon rejoined as a main character once more. After which, she became a prominent character for the rest of the Season, even getting a recurring spinoff series in *The Princess Sarah Chapters.* It is also worth noting that I frequently consulted the real Sarah for ideas pertaining to the novel, so she was a large influence there as well. Almost every morning before classes started, I would ask her for ideas that I could use for the day's chapter. Her ideas were most prominent in Season 3, so much so that there was an entire notebook named after this fact.

#### Season 1

Sarah first appeared in *The Story* at the very beginning back when the plot intended to have all the previous villains team up for one massive showdown. She showed up when Nathan was sleeping, much to his surprise. Apparently, she hadn't been turned evil by Mr. Kill's brainwashing because she used some sort of device to travel through time and undo her tragic fate. She joined the others without much direction or fanfare, occasionally commenting on this or doing that, but only really serving as a minor character due to my much more primitive writing style at the time. When the group infiltrated Mr. Destro's lair to see what he was up to, she seemed to be more focused on playing Solitare on the nearby computer than doing any actual investigative work. Once Nathan, Amber, and Zack started battling Mr. Destro's henchmen, however, she seemingly disappeared and faded from the novel with no mention of her whereabouts. In truth, I likely just forgot about her as a character. It was later said that she was still around during both Season 1 and Season 2, she just stepped back and took on lesser roles instead. She mentioned being Sardina Bandana, Nathan's love interest during the Rainbow Goods arc, and there was a flashback showing her driving FlamDawg around set sometime during the first Season.

#### Season 3

She made her glorious return to the novel during FlamDawg's big play at the very start of the Season. Here, she was one of the stage hands in charge of moving props and making sure everything went smoothly behind the curtain. Shortly after the play's sudden cancelation, she was said to have risen through the ranks of background characters to join the main cast in record time. She was so tenacious, in fact, that she secured the #2 spot just below Nathan, the novel's center of focus. Once she had her chance to be in the spotlight, she started suggesting changes for the novel which the other characters immediately turned down. Unable to accept being brushed aside so easily, she went off and started work on a project in the *Viewer Fun* studio upstairs. After a few chapters of constant work, a chapter known as *The Sarathon* debuted and featured Sarah as she set out to do everything she had ever wanted to do. This included exploring space, becoming queen of several countries, and winning beauty pageants. While this would have been more than enough for some, she still wasn't satisfied and continued her reign over the year by plotting to kill Zack so the novel could be free of his nonsense. Every so often she would come up with a new scheme, sometimes holding meetings to discuss it with the others, then do her best to put it into action. Sadly, what with Zack being Zack, every scheme failed quite horribly. She tried to attack him with a pie cannon in *Ready Player Four,* attempted to use a remote to annihilate him during the Christmas party in *Chaos at Christmas*, and even forced the novel into a time loop while desperately trying to kill him during *Slumber Party: Night of Demise.* She did have some success though, such as when she managed to assault him on his birthday in *The Final(s) Chapter: Birthday to Remember*, and trick him into a dance of death in *Magic of the Last Dance*. In between attempts, she took to doing things like hosting the news, running for the next club president of GreenGrove, and having a girl's day with Amber. All of this was done in order for her to take center stage within the Season. [Will add more as I reread Season 3.]

## List of crimes

Below are all of the crimes that Sarah has committed over the course of the novel. These include crimes, felonies, and things that are outlawed in the novel's universe.

* **Assault -** Has used brute force numerous times in order to get her way.
* **Attempted murder -** She's basically always trying to kill Zack, though thankfully it's within the confines of her own home so it rarely attracts the attention of the police.
* **Carjacking -** While a bit loose on the official definition, she once commandeered a car that Nathan was driving without his permission and sped around destroying things, then ran over Zack in front of a police officer.
* **Destruction of private property -** Has destroyed parts of the mall on more than one occasion, most notably when she tore vending machines and other things out of the ground to throw at Zack in *The Sarah Show: World Premiere.* Frou Frou Frillies was also destroyed after she visited it in *Girls' Day Out*, though that was more Amber's fault.
* **Evading arrest -** Has run from the police several times, most notably when *The Sarah Show* got canceled and when she accidentally set fire to the neighborhood in *Ready Player Four*.
* **Fraud -** She sometimes wears disguises to pretend to be other people. While this is fine in and of itself, the things she says she is qualified to do while wearing these outfits is in no way official or certified.
* **Illegal music downloading -** When Nathan mentions that the government will soon be cracking down on piracy in *Dawn of the Prinzessin*, Sarah exclaims that downloading music illegally is how she keeps herself alive.
* **Illegal show broadcasting -** Filmed *The Sarah Show* from a closet and was nearly arrested by a squadron of Little Bangs because the entire thing was being done illegally.
* **Kidnapping -** An undisclosed incident at the local Build-a-Bear saw her holding several children and their parents hostage.
* **Manslaughter -** Has killed Zack on numerous occasions. Went to prison once for it but claimed it was still worth it.
* **Possession of firearms -** She always seems to have some sort of bazooka or other explosive on her person at all times.

## Weaponry

Sarah is no stranger to weapons of mass destruction. It has been shown that she has her own hidden weapons panel in her room that houses all of the various knives, guns, and other death weaponry she uses over the years. Below are a few of the main weapons she has been known to use.

* **Lipgloss of Death:** A tube of lipgloss that is blood red in color. While seemingly just another woman thing, applying this lipgloss grants her increased killing power as well as triggering the Kiss of Death ability which will melt any flesh her lips come into contact with.
* **Purse of Epic Decapitation:** A simple black leather purse that can turn into something of a scythe when needed. Pressing a button will cause a large crescent blade to emerge from the base, allowing her to swing the purse around and cut anyone in a wide area. Spikes can also protrude from the strap which allows for a whip-like option as well.
* **Shank:** A piece of jagged metal that she picked up somewhere. Easily the most basic of her weapons, it can be used to stab or cut people that annoy her.
* **Taser:** A device capable of shocking enemies with a strong dose of electricity. This particular taser can increase its output for even stronger shocks.

## Outfits

Sarah is often more elegant and refined than the other characters, choosing to dress up more appropriately for holidays and special events. While she's most often seen wearing a dress of some sort for fancy gatherings, she sometimes dresses up in full costumes in order to deceive those around her, often because she'd be arrested on sight otherwise. Unfortunately, anyone who actually knows her can see right through the façade.

* **Brick Lady *[Chaos at Christmas]:*** Sarah as the Brick Lady, otherwise known as someone who carries a seemingly endless supply of bricks to throw at people. She seems to be basing this character off of Penelope, Nathan's female companion during the Elite series of short stories who would often hit people with bricks to make them be quiet. Sarah proclaims herself to be the "Mistress of Masonry".
* **Daphne Goldstine *[Sarah's Time Has Come]:*** A spunky woman who is capable of organizing even the grandest events, be it small get-togethers or large-scale marathon chapters.
* **Latisha McBride *[Ringmasters]:*** A short, plump, sassy black woman who lives for the mall and enjoys watching her favorite men wrestle.
* **Quaznie Kokador *[Quaznie Kokador]:*** An alien from another planet who desires to destroy planet Earth. Stashes her UFO in Hakton Orchard.
* **Tazer Lady *[Attack of the Taser Lady]:*** Sarah as the Tazer Lady, an entity who appears at a moment's notice to tase those being loud and obnoxious. She apparently stole this role away from Cat without consent.
* **Timerra Sterling *[The Sarah Show: World Premiere]:*** A determined woman who dazzles all with her carpentry, sink repair, and quirky humor.

## Quotes

> Sarah don't shake nothing! Except for that ass!
>
> Sarah Radish, 5x41, Another: Finals Chapter

## Appearances

The following are all of the chapters where Sarah has made an appearance or was otherwise mentioned.

#### Season 3

* *The Acting Bug*
* *A Play in the Making*
* *ACT I: Case of Comatose*
* *ACT II: Forest of Boom*
* *Boomsday II: Flames of Vengeance*
* *Role Twister*
* *Attack of the Taser Lady*
* *Role Twister: One Bizarre Character*
* *Time Spent Outdoors*
* *The Random Chapter*
* *Moon Over Costa Rica*
* *A Trip to the Dentist*
* *The Random Meeting*
* *Ambush! Team Zacker Appears!*
* *Sarah's Time Has Come*
* *The Random Loan*
* *OBJECTION!*
* *The Best Juice For You is the Ruined Juice*
* *Floor Donut*
* *The Sarathon*
* *The Frozen Sands of Halloween*
* *Darkness on Hallow's Day*
* *The Last-Resort Method*
* *Ready Player Four*
* *Caffeinated Midnight*
* *A Squishy Forest Adventure!*
* *Girls' Day Out*
* *The Final(s) Chapter: Birthday to Remember*
* *Cheese Sandwiches*
* *Colder Days*
* *Magic of the Last Dance*
* *The Slumber Party: Night of Demise*
* *Insane in the Woman Brain*
* *Non-Specific Nonsense*
* *Revenge of the Random!*
* *Chaos at Christmas*
* *New Year, Same Insanity*
* *A Fistful of Drama*
* *Situations (Help Me Out)*
* *Dawn of the Prinzessin*
* *The Sarah Show: World Premiere*
* *Lessons to Live By: Act I*
* *Lessons to Live By: Act II*
* *News for the Amused*
* *An Unexpected Triumph*
* *Wedding Pains*
* *A Season 3 Valentine's Day*
* *The Epic Chase of Season 3*
* *Life Without Chocolate*
* *Sarah and the Power of Noodling*
* *Princess-Training Master Class*
* *Eccentric People Killer*
* *Starbolt IV: The Return of Dennis Sparks*
* *The Backstage Age Special*
* *BWOWN: A Degenerate's Tale*
* *Creepy Toast: A Zack Short* (Mentioned)
* *I Was Surrounded By Idiots*
* *Back From Prison*
* *Battle of the Sleeping FlamDawg*
* *Coffee Toes*
* *Sightline Blackout*
* *The Bass Mace Chase Race*
* *Gotta Pee* (mentioned)
* *Her Glorious Return*
* *Eye of the Storm*
* *Road Rollin' Woes*
* *Wedding Pains: The Sequel*
* *Hacking Prankster*
* *Día de la Muerte*
* *A Calm Evening of Death and Destruction*
* *Same Old Something*
* *A Line Twice Crossed*
* *Vicious Viral Violence*
* *Convention Quest*
* *Partying in the Dark*
* *Starbolt (In Loving Memory)*
* *The Zucket List*
* *Nail Tales*
* *Weaponized Nonsense*
* *Chewy Chocomallows*
* *The End's Ending (Season 3)*
* *Bloopers of Season 3 (Season 3's Final Chapter)*

#### Season 4

* *Here We Go Again*
* *A Dispute Between Women*
* *Perfect Present Panic!*
* *Pythagorean Triple*
* *Ringmasters*
* *Quaznie Kokador*
* *Shopping Spree, Fun for Me* (mentioned)
* *Backyard Pizza*
* *Cleavage Cannon*
* *Attack of the Police*
* *Cake Calamity*
* *Lipgloss Loss*
* *Fancier Feast*
* *Another: Nasty Amber Morning*
* *I am Zack Hakton!*
* *Cookie Cooking*
* *Vicious Vibrations*
* *This is Me*
* *Fruit of the Zloom*
* *Nightmare on Grove Street*
* *Driving in the Special Lane*
* *Rock You Like a Zurricane*
* *Thankful For Thanksgiving*
* *Sudden Surge of Sindr*
* *Zack's Bad Day*
* *World of Pie*
* *Four Little Words*
* *Pie Extinction*
* *Merry Zhristmas*
* *Jingle Bombs*
* *Hacky Christmas*
* *Angels of Dynasty*
* *The Christmas of Princess Sarah* (mentioned)
* *The Story: 2013*
* *Chocolate Skydiving*
* *Easel Leg*
* *Livin' a Lie*
* *Dancing with Destruction*
* *Monday-Tuesday*
* *Printer of Evil*
* *When the Weather Turns Warm*
* *Against My Will: Her Desire*
* *Against My Will: Toilets Flush*
* *Against My Will: Acid Rain*
* *Against My Will: Bursting Brunette*
* *Against My Will: Explosion Redux*
* *Against My Will: Volcano of Red Goo*
* *Against My Will: Zack Hakton*
* *Zaqueline McLuve*
* *To Love a Cactus*
* *Spiked Love*
* *That Refreshed Feeling*
* *Pencil Man Returns (To Theaters)*
* *Late Start (Brain Strain)*
* *Spring Break 2013*
* *A Smexy Kotaro Appears!*
* *German Birfday Whatever*
* *Diary of a Drag Queen*
* *She Can if She Wants*
* *Of Whooping and Song*
* *The End Be Near*
* *Beginning of The End*
* *Casual Conference*
* *Studio of Stars +1*
* *The Chapter of Princess Zack Hakton*
* *Sunshine, Rainbows, Ponies, and Death*
* *WTF is Sarah DOING here?!*
* *Burning Illness*
* *Queen of Chocolate*
* *The Birthday of Princess Nathan*
* *The End's Ending (Season 4)*

#### Season 5

* *Beginning of the End*
* *The Perfect Crime*
* *Zack Hakton Brigade*
* *Project: Dawg Replacement*
* *Return to the Stage*
* *A Play Underway*
* *ACT III: The Play of Princess Sarah*
* *ACT IV: Running Like Wolves*
* *ACT V: Remembering Days*
* *ACT V: The Final Showdown*
* *Supermarket Sweep*
* *Little House of Horror*
* *13th Curse* (mentioned)
* *Holiday Pants Thief*
* *Frozen Slushball*
* *December in GreenGrove (Part I)*
* *December in GreenGrove (Part II)*
* *The Final Year: 2014*
* *Zack's Hacks Backs*
* *The Kotaro Adventure*
* *I Came in Like a Zrecking Ball*
* *Wrecking Werewolf*
* *Ankle Antics*
* *Perfect Day*
* *That One Wednesday*
* *#MCM: Mad Case of Monday*
* *#TBT: Tundra Bomb Tuesday*
* *#WCW: Weird Case of Wednesday*
* *#TBT: Throwback Thursday*
* *Go Green! (Chapter Witten on 100% Recycled Paper)*
* *Another: Final(s) Chapter*
* *Keeping Up with The Story*
* *Shamrock Shuffle*
* *Amber the First-Class Space Crime Fighter*
* *Hot Pants Frenzy*
* *Casino Nights*
* *Spring Break Aftermath*
* *Mission at McDonald's*
* *Zack Hakton: Pegacorn Rider*
* *GreenGrove Starlight Fair*
* *Prom Week!*
* *Idealess* (mentioned)
* *99 Problems*
* *Eyes of the Wolf (Part II)*
* *Last Run Out*
* *Hallway 69*
* *The End*

## Trivia

* She claimed to have used a time-travel device to escape Mr. Destro's brainwashing in Season 1. This holds up later when she confronts Sindr in Season 5, mentioning that she knows Sindr's true identity and what happens in the future.
* Despite not being in the novel for most of Season 1 and the entirety of Season 2, several flashbacks indicate that she was still around and interacting with the characters outside of the main written chapters during this time.
* Her last name is a play on the real Sarah's last name.
* Her favorite band is Moonbeam & The Starbolts which is apparently Dennis' cover band.
* She has a rather extreme love of chocolate. In Season 3's *Life Without Chocolate*, it's proven that she goes on a wild rampage whenever she doesn't have any.
* In *Eccentric People Killer,* she revealed that she wasn't seen much during Seasons 1 and 2 because she was busy filling various roles within the novel. She even revealed that she had been Sardina Bandana, the woman Nathan had a crush on during the Rainbow Goods arc in Season 1.
* She once stated that the Radishes are a proud people who never accept outside help. They do it themselves or they don't do it at all!

## Gallery

Sarah as she appears in the novel.Sarah's first appearance in the novel.Sarah fast asleep while standing.Sarah smiling for the readers.Sarah making soup.Sarah floating down the stairs in the kitchen.Sarah drifting through space.Sarah dressed as a samurai.Sarah hosting her serenity show.Sarah's redesigned outfit.Sarah wearing evening attire.Sarah in a more club-appropriate outfit.Sarah recreated in a Picrew avatar maker.Sarah is quite the maneater.