The Gospel of the Bubger

*The Gospel of the Bubger was an ancient tome recovered from Ancient texts worshipping the Bubger, most being found in Bubgeria but multiple others being found in countries such as China and Indonesian islands. The Gospel contains prayers, hymns, and how to do sacrifices. The tome has been translated and recovered, below are the musings of the Gospel, separated into sections based on their content:*

## Prayer for Forgiveness

```
*O holy Bubger, I hope one day I can be with you at taste paradise*
*I have done this awful thing, but you must forgive me*
*For I, Bubger, am your friend and follower*

```

## Bubger's Messages and How To Get Them

Priests of a Bubger church can naturally telepathically commune with the Bubger. For normal people, a simple prayer in your own words will help you get in contact with the bubger. If your intentions are pure and delicious, then the Bubger will grant your wish. Bubger can speak in all sacred languages, and usually speaks whatever you spoke in your prayer when replying. His messages will boom in your head in a chezzy voice.

However, the bubger can sometimes send you messages to warn you to not do something, or to do something, if it is that important and he doubts you will not make the best choice on your own. When he asks you do to something, it is only for the betterment of the world and for your own acceptance into Taste Paradise, so please be sure to do what the Bubger asks, as the Bubger knows best.

## Taste Paradise: Our Ultimate Goal (and other places we should not strive to enter)

The bubger came from the "taste paradise" commune of Heaven. When a person who has pleased the Bubger dies, they join the bubger in taste paradise, where everybody lives in harmony, everything tastes delicious, and people can have whatever they want whenever they want. Our goal is to join the bubger there when we die. However, avoid the Bubgerless Land-- those who constantly harm the Bubger will end up in a world where everyone hates each other and there are no yummy bubgers, which is likely also the 69th circle of hell. However, if someone stuck in the Bubgerless Land becomes a better person while there, the bubger will allow them to repent and go to Taste Paradise. Souls who are not good enough or bad enough for either one of those will end up in Limbo (this is different from the Limbo Glimpse of Taste Paradise, where someone sees glimpses of Taste Paradise), in other words they will be forced to travel the world in spirit form, barely seen by other spirits and unseen by people. However, if they prove themselves good or bad enough for either one of those places, they will be sent to the corresponding area.

## Bubger's Commandments

* Try your best to fight against injustice, bullies, and of course the evil Enemy chicken
* Have a good relationship with the bubger's friends and siblings whom he has sent to this Earth
* Be respectful towards others, especially the bubger's allies and followers
* Help others convert to Bubgerism
* Be a loving, kind person in general
* Eat chicken burgers, the holy food sent by the Bubger (but never use the word burger as a slur)
* Seek to end up in Taste Paradise
* Reject all notions of going to the Bubgerless Land or Limbo, and if you do get stuck there, make the most of it and change any ways deemed evil
* Give the enemy chicken retribution for what they have done to other people for centuries; but do not purposely hurt people who are not enemy chickens, for everyone deserves a second chance, except for the enemy chicken. Let the bubger deal with them

## Does the Bubger care about you?

The Bubger is one of the kindest lords to grace the world. He is sure to give dead souls a second chance at getting to taste paradise, and he never commands a sacrifice unless it is absolutely necessary. The bubger even cares about enemy chicken, whom he plans to one day save from the dark side. Yes, the bubger cares, which is why we worship him most. He will make sure that all kind and good hearted-people will join him in taste paradise.

## The word "Burger"

While burgers are the Bubger's holy food, repetitive saying of the word when not referring to the food is nasty to the Bubger, who feels as if you are mocking his name (thus the foods themselves have been referred to as bubgers recently by some). Usually, a sacrifice is needed when someone repeatedly says the word.

## Sacrifice

When someone breaks the bubger's rules on purpose multiple times, to the point where it is destructive and harmful to like-minded Bubgerists, and/or is deemed ready for afterlife, a sacrifice is initiated. The bubger has sent down a blade for the very reason of sacrificing people. Usually, one quick stab will suffice, but occasionally words can be carved into the forehead. Sometimes the sacrificial victim is knocked out beforehand-- this is typically used when it comes to sending someone to the afterlife and not when it comes to sacrificing enemy chicken, because enemy chicken should feel the pain they have inflicted on others for centuries.

#### Exorcism

The only problem with sacrifice is that sometimes a soul on the way to the afterlife, or stuck in limbo forever (because they are not bad enough for the Bubgerless Land and not good enough for Taste Paradise) can possess somebody who is dying, mortally wounded, or dead, and take full control over their body. Holy water, prayers, and chants usually work in expelling the spirit, but musrd sprayed on the possessed person's body is used if all else fails.

## Hymn of the Bubger

**[Archeologists were unable to fully translate this hymn. Certain words will be displayed in the modern version of the ancient words we were unable to fully translate. These errors were likely caused by Enemy Chicken.]**

My bubger, my saver, my grace

I long for your taste and I strive to halt the calling of Enemy chicken

I solemnly swear to never forget your teachings

The things you taught me will not be soon forgotten

May the enemy's call be halted

I give myself to 你永远

My bubger, my saver, my grace

I will forever serve you, I kneel to you

I serve all you stand for

我的圣老师幸福

我 bubger

## Holidays according to the Bubger

Bubgerists mainly celebrate Arrival Day, the day the bubger was believed to come into the world, by taking trips to the bubger's claimed nations. The bubger however has granted his followers permission to celebrate other holidays that will come in the future, such as one he describes about (this is a quote from the bubger) "pine trees and presents, celebrating the arrival of a baby". This holiday also ties in to the Bubger's stance on other religions. Bubgerism is a grey area when it comes to religion, because you can still believe in other gods even while believing in the Bubger.

## The Bubger's Chosen Ones

Now, while the bubger does choose certain followers to be priests and they are hailed the bubger's chosen ones, you must understand that technically *everyone* is one of the bubger's chosen ones. The bubger does push his followers in the way of what they are supposed to do, even if they are not priests. If someone is to join the enemy chicken, the bubger will be sure to save them, or at least try. Keep in mind that the bubger has a plan for you, and if you have found Bubgerism, you are likely fulfilling that plan.

However: *When the sky turns red and the land grows dry, the true chosen one shall raise from those ashes, and doth enemies shall be vanquished.* This chosen one shall be the chosen one above all others, and may be a priest, friend chicken, or anyone really-- the bubger isn't playing favorites, it is just that this individual is best suited for saving the world from enemy chicken, while others are better off with simpler goals and plans. The Bubger knows best, so whatever he wants you to do is what's best for you and the world. Never forget that.

## Enemy Chicken

Enemy Chicken are the horrible evil chickens who for some reason decided to go against the bubger. As of right now, they are rather weak, but the chicken bubger says they shall be stronger in the future. He also states that there is a way to deflect enemy chickens back to the good side. An exorcism can be done on them if you believe they have been 'possessed' by anti-Bubgerist ideals, but often they are required to go into the limbo glimpse of taste paradise.

#### The Limbo Glimpse of Taste Paradise

When someone has a near-death experience and is a Bubgerist, often they catch glimpses of what taste paradise will be like. However, sometimes the bubger shows special people of his Church glimpses despite not having one of these experiences, and in rare cases when someone dies but could be saved, they go to taste paradise but get the option to go back to mortality if they like. These glimpses are vital to bringing an enemy chicken back to the good side, because if you pray for the bubger to give them the experience, or put them through a near-death experience, they will often be intimidated by the bubger's glory and return to goodness. This is different from Limbo, where souls are forced to travel the world in spirit form for all eternity.