Letterkenny Talent Show

**Letterkenny Talent Show** is the fourth episode of Season 4 of *Letterkenny*.

## Synopsis

Letterkenny locals put their special skills on display with their very own talent show.

## Cold Open

> Your pals found a package that belonged to a coupla degens the other day. — Wayne
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The Hicks all shout at each other "You're wrong you're wrong you're wrong!" The subject is a package Dan found at the dollar store parking lot belonging to Soupy Campbell and Spider Creemans; Dan popped it in the mailbox, but Katy and Daryl feel that by the rules of "finders-keepers," he should have opened it.

Wayne interrupts, not with an opinion on the package, but about the English, specifically how to form possessives from compounds. It also chaps his ass when people use big words to sound smart. Daryl and Dan reply butchering the vocabulary.

> You know, I thinks I know what you're incineratin's at here, Wayne. And I want you to know I take great solstice in working through all the conflictions that come from the King and Queen's language. — Dan
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They return to conclude that the decision on what happens to the package is Darylses, and Danses, not Wayneses and Katyses, and Wayne supports Dan's decision. Dan appreciates the supportseses.

> Hey, have you ever seen that movie, *There's Something About Mary*? Bet you didn't know they're making a Canadian version. Yeah, it's gonna be called, *There's Something Aboot Marie*. — Wayne
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## Plot Summary

It is comedy night at MoDean's II, and a touring stand-up (Gavin Crawford) from the big city is flopping badly. His jokes offend the audience and his attempts to fight back at hecklers backfire. The crowd begins to boo, and he insults them and the town.

> Okay! Thanks very much, Letterkenny. This has been the exact opposite of fun. — Stand-up
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At the gym Reilly and Jonesy mock Tyson and Joint Boy's physiques, offering them CrossFit training; they are now "celebrity endorsers" for the gym. Tyson and JB are puzzled by the offer.

> Why would we get training from you? You look like our "before" pictures. — Tyson
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At the farm, McMurray and Mrs. McMurray approach the Hicks to propose that the townsfolk put on their own talent show, advertised via Facebook and hosted by Jim Dickens. Katy and Wayne agree to be judges. Dan throws in his hat to do a standup act. Daryl is coaxed into participating when a prize of $100 bar tab at MoDean's is offered, but he regrets it. The others encourage him, pointing out that his line-dancing lineage is legendary, and that his Aunt Doreen made it to sectionals.

Dan returns to the produce stand and tries out some of his material. He makes very ordinary observations about life, but the Hicks approve.

Jonesy and Reilly, meanwhile, are still at the gym— working on their gym selfies for Instagram.

Jim Dickens welcomes everyone to the first ever Letterkenny Talent Show at MoDean's, but keeps slipping into auctioneering as he counts people in the audience and banters with Katy and Wayne. He announces Gail as the first act; she will perform a monologue from *Gladiator*—ratherm *Glad He Ate Her*, a pornographic film grunting and thrusting with the words. Wayne buzzes to stop the act, but Katy applauds it as "bang on, even better than the movie."

The Coach appears next, dedicating his ukelele act to his late wife Barbara. After the first two lines, however, somebody coughs, and he stops and starts over. Someone sneezes, and the Coach loses his temper. He smashes the ukelele and screams at the audience.

> Sneezus Christ, Ebisneezer Scrooge! What, somebody got a life-threatening dissneeze out there?! — Coach
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Glen is performing next, not with the Salty Treats, but a new group: My Tattered Journal, a "Christian post alt-rock emo super band." He sings of wanting to be close to Christ and to Wayne, and to be touched by both. Wayne buzzes to stop the act.

The Skids perform next, with Stewart wailing into the microphone and the others dancing manically around him to an electronic beat. After a few seconds of this, Wayne buzzes to stop, asking what the actual fuck that was. Stewart replies that it is "scream therapy juxtaposed against self-expression from the streets," a new genre of dance they call "ache dancing." Before they begin their second set, Wayne buzzes repeatedly.

McMurray and Mrs. McMurray, dressed as Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus, then take the stage. Santa scolds Mrs. Clause sexually as having been a "naughty" girl who needs a bare bum spanking. Wayne buzzes them to stop, saying he is doing them a favor before they had to get the costumes dry-cleaned; Mrs. McMurray replies that they will still need to get them dry-cleaned anyway.

Two gym babes approach Reilly and Jonesy at the gym to ask for training; it has been their cardio day, but the hockey players have no interest: "Fuck cardio." The hockey players advise them on positioning the phone at a high angle to make their eyes pop and put the eyebrow game on point. The women are not interested in training for Gym-stagrams, however, but on CrossFit, and they go over to Tyson and Joint Boy. Nevertheless, Reilly and Jonesy believe they have accomplished something that day, and plan to reward themselves with "appies and ales, wheelin' some tails."

Dan is in the midst of his stand-up act, and the audience is howling with laughter at his mundane observations.

> Now did, did you ever notice lineups at the dollar store is gettin' longer? Like, I just stopped in there to get a candy bar the other day, I'm stuck waitin' three hours behind Mrs. Henderson buying a whole kitchen sink. — Dan
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The crowd cheers and even Jim Dickens praises the act as *unbelievably* good. Wayne says he liked it because he understood it, whereas everything else he'd seen that day he didn't understand. Dan is very pleased, because he found the writing "super easy."

Daryl takes the stage and begins line-dancing by himself, but he misses a few steps, and Katy worries that he is losing it. She and Wayne join him on stage, followed by Dan, Gail, Jim Dickens, McMurray, and Mrs. McMurray. The hockey players enter as the whole group is dancing about on stage, and quickly turn and leave.

> Fuck cardio. — Jonesy
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## Quotes

* Wayne: It's time to get back on the horse, bud.
Daryl: Oh, no. No, I took that horse out the back side of the barn. Put her down for good.
* Daryl: If it hadn't have been for…
Katy: She didn't have the…
Wayne: If it weren't for the
All: bum leg.
Wayne: Buerger's disease.
Katy: Was it Buerger's?
Wayne: Yes. Buergers.
Daryl: Didn't she get treated at the Mayo Clinic?
Wayne: Yes. She got her Buerger's treated with Mayo.
Katy: Did she do that to catch up to the competition? Did she ketchup?
Wayne: Yes. And despite her Buerger's, she never beefed with anyone.
Daryl: She relished a challenge. That was a challenge that she relished.
Katy: Mustered up the courage.
Wayne: She worked her buns off. She worked the buns off her Buergers.
Daryl: No cheesy moves.
Katy: Let us all be inspired by her. She lettuce.
Wayne: No hot-dogging. Just Beurgers.
* Jonesy: Gotta crack a snappy for the Winstagram, buddy.
Reilly: Yeah, couple of pickies for the chickies.
Jonesy: Gymstagram, bro.
Reilly: Instapicks, instachicks.
Jonesy: Gotta provide people with proof you're pressin' pounds, otherwise what's the point? Am I right?
* Coach: Sneezus Christ, Ebisneezer Scrooge! What, somebody got a life-threatening dis-sneeze out there?! Huh? We finally got some class up here after Gail's little strip sneeze and then now look what happens! Look at it! God, am I speaking Canton-sneeze up here! Do I need to get down on my sneeze and beg? Huh? You take that garbage over-sneeze and order yourself some Chi-sneeze cuisine, before I go Hercu-sneeze up your asshole. Carpi diem: Sneeze the day!

## Cultural References

* The unnamed standup at the opening is Gavin Crawford, a well-known comedian based in Toronto.
* Glen's "Christian post alt-rock emo super band," "My Tattered Journal," are costumed very similarly to emo band My Chemical Romance, from their 2007 *The Black Parade* tour.
* K. Trevor Wilson, who portrays Dan, is principally known as a standup comedian. He asks the Hicks who their favorite standup is, and Wayne answers Mark Forward, who plays the Coach.
* "Scream therapy," or more clinically "primal therapy," was an actual theory promoted by Art Janov. It reached its peak popularity in 1970s, but was not shown to be effective, and has declined in the ensuing decades.

## Callbacks and Running Gags

* Wayne and McMurray interrupt each other
* The hockey players hate cardio
* To be fair
* Put it on your fuckin' Facebook
* A good guy. A great guy.

## Trivia

* McMurray says Jimmy Dickens, demonstrating that he knows the correct pronunciation of his name; he simply chooses to say "Jimmy Dickskin."
* The song "Never Swim Alone" by Death from Above is not related to the play *Never Swim Alone*, in a high school production of which Andrew Herr (Jonesy) made his acting debut.

## Music

According to Tunefind, the following songs are featured in this episode:

* Emo Song by Jason Corbett
* TechnoSkid by Jason Corbett
* Dogbody by Holloh (at the gym)
* Never Swim Alone by Death From Above 1979 (Daryl gets pumped for his performance)
* Swamp Thing by The Grid (Daryl and the townsfolk dance, and credits)

## Locations

* MoDean's II
* Gym
* Farm

## Appearances

* Wayne
* Dan
* Katy
* Daryl
* Standup comedian (Gavin Crawford)
* Reilly
* Jonesy
* Tyson
* Joint Boy
* Gym babes
* McMurray
* Mrs. McMurray
* Jim Dickens
* Gail
* Coach
* Glen
* Stewart
* Roald

## Gallery

Comedy Night at MoDean's IITough crowdThe Gym BabesJim Dickens emceesGail's monologueThe softer side of the CoachMy Tattered GirlGlittery DarylEverybody dance