Roscoe Jones

Roscoe "Geography" Jones, formerly known as Graham, is a geography teacher at The Blue Coat School.

## History

### Death of his daughter

On an unknown date 53 years BG (Before Grasmere), Roscoe's unnamed daughter died unexpectedly when a Boeing 737 crashed through his classroom wall where she was sleeping, killing her instantly. Roscoe, who had left the room to buy food, was unharmed. The incident scarred Roscoe, who thought she died from starvation, causing him to blame himself and possibly acting as a catalyst for his erratic behaviour.

### Work as a holiday rep in Turkey

Following this dramatic change in his life, Roscoe decided to become a holiday rep at a resort in Turkey, where he attempted to entertain guests with his singing, dancing, and geographical skills. Unfortunately for Roscoe, this did not work out as he was described as "insufferable" and "extremely racist," resulting in his untimely departure. However, this stint in Turkey reinforced his love of geography and he returned to the UK to become a teacher.

## Teaching career

### South Wirral High School

Upon his return to the UK, Roscoe quickly found a job as a geography teacher at South Wirral High School in Eastham, where he was quickly promoted to head of geography, citizenship and PSHE. Roscoe was encouraged by his rapid career success, although sources close to the school state that he only got the job because "nobody else wanted to do it." Despite his flourishing career, Roscoe did not enjoy his time at South Wirral High School, where he was ridiculed for his appearance.

### Return to Bluecoat

Roughly 3 years BG, Roscoe applied for a role as a PD teacher at The Blue Coat School, which he had attended as a pupil many years ago. Older members of staff were reportedly horrified to see him return, but despite this he was appointed as head of geography due to an accounting error. He is still head of department at The Blue Coat School at the time of writing.

## Death

In an attempt to forgive himself for the death of his daughter, Roscoe planned a visit to his daughter's grave in Grasmere. Coincidentally, he was due to chaperone a trip to Grasmere the following day, and so he split off from the rest of the class when they were at the Easedale Tarn. Upon reaching her grave, Roscoe was so overwhelmed with grief that he expressed a desire to kill himself, when his daughter's voice came to him and assured him that her death wasn't his fault. With a newfound sense of joy, Roscoe began to celebrate, but soon noticed some highlighter marks on her headstone. This proved to be the last straw for Roscoe and re-ignited his lust for death.

After digging a new grave next to his daughter and building an elaborate contraption to fill it with dirt posthumously, Roscoe shot himself in the head, killing him instantly. His head fell on a switch, setting off a wacky marble run which eventually resulted in a homemade trebuchet launching 9,000 pounds of dirt into the grave, filling it in perfectly.

## Personality and traits

Roscoe is known to display erratic and unhinged behaviour. He also, alongide many other characters in The Workplace, possesses racist views, often resulting in violent racial outbursts during geography lessons.

alongside maotyer ch characters in The Workplace, possesses racist views, which of result in violent racial outbursts during lessonsten

## Quotes

*"Shut the back door!"*

*"Shut the fuck up!"*

*"Kill yourself!"*

*"Preheat the oven!"*

*"Turn the gas on!"*

*"Turn the lights off!"*

*"Take your clothes off!"*

*"Can anyone please tell me what happened to my wall?"*

*"It's a HATE SYMBOL!!! Used to BULLY PEOPLE!!! ONLINE!!!"*

*"IN THE POOL!!!"*

*"I'M NAKED!!!"*

*"BLACK!!!"*

*"GINGERBREAD!!!"*

*"Turn over!"*

*"Shiver me timbers!"*

*"That ain't happening!"*

*"The Hillsborough disaster has given me purpose!"*

*"My cock fell off!"*

## Trivia

* Roscoe is known to enjoy listening to music in his free time.
	+ He particularly likes music by the band Pulp.
* Roscoe hosted the now-defunct spinoff cooking show "Cooking with Graham."
	+ The show ran for one episode, in which he instructed viewers to "Turn the gas on!" on their ovens, resulting in at least 3 fatalities as there was no instruction to turn it back off.
* He shares a resemblance to Travis McMichael, Lester Crest (from GTA V) and Daniel Wormald (from *Better Call Saul*).
* He mistakenly moved to a mosque in Liverpool, where he resides to this day.
	+ Roscoe was confronted by a member of the local Muslim community about his apparent takeover of the mosque. Roscoe, enraged by this, responded by tearing the walls down and replacing them with gingerbread.
* The song "Mr Jones" by Counting Crows is apparently connected to Roscoe Jones, although exactly how or why is unknown.
	+ Some sources claim it was written as an homage, while others suggest Roscoe himself "ghostwrote" it.

## See also

* How the Roscoe Stole Gingerbread
* Racism