John Elway the Flying Sword

*This article is about The Flying Sword. For other uses, see John Elway (disambiguation).*

## John Elway the Flying Sword

### Born

Jonathan Rory Elsingway. Animated by John Elway

### Died

Smashed by Rob the Zombie, then sacrificed himself killing Giant John Elway (The Primary Elway)

## Physical Description

### Size

Small

**John Elway (The Flying Sword)** was an animated flying sword who fought with the Bad News Bugbears at the Monster Madness Tournament. He was originally animated by the wizard known as John Elway, who used dire football magics, a bit of his own soul, and part of the Primary Elway in order to enchant it. John Elway was soul-bound to John Elway so that whenever the sword sliced food, he would taste it.

It's later revealed that the spirit inside the sword was just a human warrior originally called "**Jonathan Rory Elsingway**" who was taken by John Elway (The Wizard) and had his essence to open a portal to use the power of John Elway the Football Player. A piece of the warrior remained in the sword but was powerless against the evil spirit of the Primary Elway that also possessed it. When flying, John sounded like a Nerf Vortex thrown by John Elway. His fan base referred to themselves as the "Sword Horde".

John Elway was killed in the final round of the tournament, leading to the appearance of Giant John Elway (The Primary Elway). The sword later came back in the form of Jonathan Elsingway the Flying Football, who later sacraficed himself to destroy Giant John Elway, getting some sort of revenge for his tortured life.

## The Monster Madness Tournament

### **Round 1**

In the first round, John fights Needle Blight, a pile of leaves. In the first round of the fight, Needle Blight shoots needles at John but he just spins and bats them away. John Elway comes back with a deadly slash which leaves Needle Blight close to death. After this hit, John Elway goes around the crowd and "hi-fives" everyone which just ends up stabbing them. In round 2 of the fight, Needle Blight fires some more needles that hit and grub up John Elway with sap. John comes back and finishes the job by chopping Needle Blight into pieces. Some of the crowd goes wild, others aren't sure what they just watched.

### **Round 2**

In the second round, John fights Ssspider the Giant Poisonous Snake. Ssspider goes first, attacks, and misses. John then flies through the air (whistling like a nerf football from the 90s) attacks, but also misses. Ssspider attacks and hits. Ssspider hisses "I get no ressssspect" and Emily translates for him. John Elway attacks and hits for a large amount of damage. Ssspider says "R-E-Sssss-P-E-C-T". Ssspider attacks again and misses which John responds to by spinning around to make a laughing noise. John Elway attacks and kills Ssspider, chopping him up into sushimi and doling him out to the audience.

### **Semi-Finals**

In the last round of the semi-finals, John fought Borf the Giant Badger. Upon entering the arena, Borf starts throwing clumps of hair at the crowd again, covering and killing one person instantly. During the fight, Borf pukes nonchalantly. After some back and forth, John Elway does a beautiful yet sorrowful sword dance through the sky which one wouldn't think a object meant for and destruction could pull of. John goes up to Lord Beran Murphial's Shit Son so he can touch the blade (which cuts him slightly), then he rockets up into the sky and fires down through Borf's skull. Parasite infested fecal matter pours out of every one of Borf's wounds and rusts John Elway slightly.

### **Finals**

In the finals, John fights Rob the Zombie. Before the fight starts it can be seen there's a lot of support for John Elway, though there is a sub-section of goths under the bleachers rooting and vaping for Rob. In the fight, Rob starts to win the crowd more and flexes his legs. After some tired back and forth, Rob flexes his butt muscles. After some more hits, Rob tries to get the attention of the crowd because he's going to put on a show. Rob grabs John out the air, puts him between his butt cheeks, and from the strength and heat John Elway the Flying Sword is shattered. John Elway (The Wizard) then ages 100 years. Rob leaves the arena with Peder's son to go fishing with him as his dad was killed by Legolas the Drow. As Rob is being asked to shake Lord Beran's shit son's hand, a blue and orange spirit rises from John's shattered form and rushes into the shit son causing him to EXPLODE and give form to a giant John Elway the football player.

### **Appearance of John Elway**

After being presumed dead, the spirit of John Elway the Sword manifests inside of Giant John Elway's magic bag of footballs. The sword reveals his true history and pours his power into a single football. John attacks a few times but misses. Jonathan tries to fly into Giant John Elway's mouth to blow him up from the inside with spiritual energy. Tasting vengeance, John flies forward but bounces off Johns closed mouth. Jonathan rubs against the goth gangs hair to grease himself up and tries to fly into John's mouth again, but fails. Finally, after Lord Beran Murphial yells out some inspiration, Rob the Zombie grabs Johnathon from the air, reels back, and chucks a perfect sprial. However, Giant John Elway starts to move and looks like it's going to miss, but with a glow from Jonathan, he's redirected into John's mouth where he travels in to his stomach, sacrificing himself to explode Giant John Elway (The Primary Elway) into a million footballs which turn into stardust. The symbol for the Denver Broncos appears in the sky, and there's peace in the kingdom again.