Blood 7

**Chapter 7**

We're back with Richard, and Terry Goodkind has suddenly remembered that, after riding horses to death for two weeks, a night of Magic Spirit Sex, and a fight with thirteen Misters, Richard should be dead tired. So now he is. He's wandering through Aydindril, trying to follow Sandy's directions to . . . somewhere. The city is big and confusing. There are lots of people selling stuff. Suddenly, Richard realizes that he's being followed!

Suddenly a cute widdle girl is offering Richard a honey cake. Richard gives her a silver coin, which she insists is too much, so he says that whenever he comes by she can give him another honey cake until the coin is used up. The girls' grandmother appears and asks if Richard's sword was *“Taken or given?”*

Richard understands this to mean, “Were you appointed Seeker by a wizard, or did you just steal that sword?” Because, remember, random innkeepers and honey cake saleswomen can instantly recognize the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo, despite the fact that wizards and sorceresses who have **studied magic for centuries** have no clue what it is. \~/ Richard thinks about how the sword had been *“a prize among those who could afford it, or those who could steal it. . . . Pretend Seekers had given the Sword of Truth a nefarious reputation. . .”* I think I've already ranted sufficiently about what a terrible, terrible idea this is, given what we've been told of how the sword's magic works.

Of course, it never seems to work the same way twice.

Richard says that the sword was *“given by one of the First Order. I was named.”* This causes Granny to wax ecstatic about *“A real Seeker,”* and she asks if he's *“come to rid us of the vermin?”* We learn that Granny's son (presumably Little Girl's father) is one of the people waiting outside the Mindrapists' Palace to be given free gold. Granny goes into a speech \~/ about those Selfish Welfare Leeches and the evil, evil people who promised them free gold. *“Them's the vermin: them who take what little we can earn or make with our hands so as to promise it right back to us, expecting us to be thankful at their kind hearts; them who tempt good people to be lazy so they can rule us like they do sheep at a trough; them who took our freedom and our ways.”*

In other words . . .

\~/

Richard . . . wanders off, not really responding to Granny's Strawman Speech. He's distracted and disoriented by the noisy, crowded city, which is actually a nice touch, since he's supposed to be a woods guide from Nowheresville, Westland.

Except that he just spent the last several weeks living in the city of Tanimura. One would think he would have gotten a *little* used to city life in that time.

Not looking where he's going (some woods guide), Richard blunders in front of a column of soldiers who turn out to be the Blood of the Fold. The leader says *“Do you be blind? What kind of fool walks under a column of horsemen/”* which I have to admit is a perfectly reasonable question under the circumstances.

Richard thinks abut using his Cloak of Invisibility to become invisible [!], but decides not to. Not because him suddenly vanishing from a crowded street in front of an entire column of pissed-off horsemen would draw attention, but rather *“the Wizard's Second Rule came to mind: the greatest harm can result from the best intentions.”* Instead, after logically considering the problem for two entire paragraphs, he decides to simply apologize.

Wizard's Second Rule isn't exactly a bad piece of philosophy, but there's a time and place in the story to bring it up This . . . was not the correct time and place. \~/

The Bloodite leader tells Richard to get out of their way (wait; did Richard just apologize and then stand there without moving?), calling him *“half-wit”* and threatening to trample him. Rude, but understandable: they're a troop of soldiers and Richard is some random numbskull who stepped in front of them and is now holding up their march. Richard finally moves out of the way, apologizing again. Blood Leader comments that fighting Satan is always urgent, and Richard, no doubt choking on all this forced politeness, snarks that he's sure Satan is cowering in a corner so the Bloodites had better go vanquish him.

Astonishingly, this manages to further piss off the Bloodite leader. Richard thinks that he had never liked fighting, and *“he had learned that he could use a smile and humor to soothe the feelings of agitated foes, and disarm those simply wanting to start a fight.”*

Richard thinks smarting off to the man with a legitimate grievance is going to **prevent** a fight?

\~/

Richard does not understand your hyoo-man feelings. I guess that comes with being a sociopath.

Anyway, Bloodite Leader starts saying that maybe Richard's a Satanist, when two *“huge men”* grab Richard's arms. They're D'Harans, with blonde hair and blue eyes and those moronic spiked armbands, and will hereafter be known as the Aryan Boys. They call Bloodite Leader*”dandy,”* (oh, that's certainly going to calm him down, you freaking idiot!) and indicate that they're going to question Richard themselves. Now that it's convenient to the plot, Richard's two-week ordeal and lack of sleep have caught up with him and he's unable to break free of the Aryan Boys' grasp. He also doesn't think of using the Sword of the Homicidal Hobo's *Sue ex machina* powers to break free because Terry Goodkind doesn't want him to.

Bloodite Leader insists that he gets to question Richard first, so the Aryan Boys threaten to murder him and all his men. This causes Bloodite Leader to . . . decide he's wasting his time and dismiss the entire affair.

o\_o

-\_-

o\_o

So, let me get this straight.

Bloodite Leader was willing to stop his important business and threaten and possibly kidnap and interrogate some random idiot who happens to bumble in front of them as they march through the city . . . but when two **more** idiots show up and start in with the **death threats,** suddenly it's not worth it? Or was it the “two against two hundred” that scared Bloodite Leader?

This is **moronic.** \~/\~/

The Aryan Boys drag Richard into a dark ally where four Mysterious Cloaked Figures are waiting.

End chapter!

Drinks: 7

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