Calculon Revisited

**Calculon Revisited** is one of the character goals in Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow.

## Part 1

### Objectives

* Have Ghost Calculon Hit the Bottle (2h 0m 0s)
* Have Bender Act Surprised (10h)
* Have Fry Watch a Show (4h)

### Story

 It is I, the Ghost of Calculon 2.0!

 Calculon 2.0? But we're already on Calculon 3.0. What's the difference?

 My version has the best dramatic pauses, but it takes me a minute longer to boot up.

I don't have time to wait! I want my dramatic pauses NOW!

 My apologies, Bender. Sometimes I get trapped in this bottle. It's a part of my curse.

 Cursed? What happened? Did you get bitten by a were-car or a vamp-iron or something?

 Nothing so mundane. I agreed to do a commercial for a payday loans company.

## Part 2

### Objectives

* Have URL Write Some Tickets (2h)
* Have Ghost Calculon Scare the Patrons (8h 0m 0s)
* Get Ghost Calculon Up To Level 10

### Story

 We're getting reports that you're harassing people with your performances.

 It's not harassment if they're enjoying it!

 They ain't enjoying it, man. Look, you're convincing as Hamlet's father's ghost, but that's mainly 'cause you're an actual ghost. It's creepy!

 You want a live person to play a ghost? "Hamlet" is not a minstrel show!

 Fine! I'll take my acting elsewhere!

 Why don't you try an actual theater stage?

 Because I don't have an Actor's Union card.

 They don't take ghosts?

 Not if they're several years behind with their dues, they don't

## Part 3

### Objectives

* Have Bender Run Some Lines (4h)
* Have Ghost Calculon Sword Fight (1h 0m 0s)
* Have Fry Record Himself (3h 0m 0s)
* Get Ghost Calculon Up To Level 10

### Story

 I've been working on my audition piece. Would you mind directing me?

 Okay, but I warn you: I've directed a lot of community theater, and people say I'm pretty demanding.

 Oh, I'm not sensitive about taking notes. Let's begin. "To be or not to be--"

 Stop! I can't work under these conditions! Show more emotion and give me all your money!

 This isn't working out. You're not taking any of my notes.

 Your notes are amateurish. I need a director who knows how to work with ghosts.

 And I need a ghost who knows how to take orders from the living!

 [...]

 I don't think you understand the concept of "ghosts" very well.

## Part 4

### Objectives

* Have Ghost Calculon Turn Off the Lights (1d 0h 0m 0s)
* Have Scruffy Squint His Eyes (10h 0m 0s)

### Story

 Aren't you supposed to be dead, Mr. Calculon?

 I am dead! Can't you tell just by looking at me?

 Scruffy ain't got the best eyesight.

 I normally distinguish the living from the dead by smell. It's more accurate and more fun.

 Has anyone ever told you that your face is perfect for the screen, Scruffy?

 Nope.

 Well, it is. Your forlorn eyes say more than words ever could.

 Mm-hm.

 I stand corrected!

## Part 5

### Objectives

* Have Ghost Calculon Give a Haunting Performance (4h 0m 0s)
* Have Calculon Recharge Acting Unit (2h 0m 0s)
* Have Hedonismbot Oil Himself (4h 0m 0s)

### Story

 What may this mean that thou, dead corse, again in complete steel, revisit'st thus the glimpses of the moon?

 What I mean is, who the hell are you?

 I'm an earlier version of yourself -- back from the dead and ready to audition for the same roles as you!

 Pfft. My release includes a hardware upgrade with all the latest emotions, so good luck out-acting me!

 Oh... Well, do you need a stunt double? I'm dead, so I'm willing to do really dangerous stuff...

 I must admit, your acting is brilliant.

 As is yours. I wish you luck. And please -- don't make the same mistakes I have.

 Well, I'm still alive, so it looks like I already avoided the big one.