False Start

Adria adjusted her jacket, the denim thing was covered in patches representing her beliefs for everyone to see them, but the rest of her was more reserved some red vans, black jeans contrasting the dark blue of the jacket, and she wore a loose long mahogany hoodie underneath. She pushed open the door heading into the base. She was going to look for Jaime. Cyclone told her that she should talk to them about her past just to let them know they weren’t the only one trying to do better. She didn’t know where to find Jaime in the base so she just began walking to every and any room they could be in and asking for a Jaime.

Jaime looks in their mirror, running their hands through their now-blond hair. They had sort of adopted a smaller room, tucked in the corner off a disused hallway in the base. Cyclone had offered for them to stay, and considering it was at least some more protection than being on their own, Jaime took it.

They figure, even if no one’s after them yet they can’t be too safe. And a team full of superheroes should be safe. Until the other night happened.

Now, they’re not so sure if it’s a good idea. They’re not a leader. And they still feel guilty about Trevor….

They sigh, stretching up on their toes and burning off a bit more of Ellen’s energy. Their face sharpens a bit, cheekbones migrating slightly and hair lengthening. They look a bit more like themselves, but not much.

Lavender had found the base weirdly empty but had broken into Cyclone’s office to read over the room assignment finding Jaime’s . The girl melded into the shadow of the room. Appearing in front of the door that she was looking for she gave it a sharp knock.

Tap. Tap

“Hey, Jaime. Are you in there? I want to talk.” The voice that they heard was one that was well composed and sharp like the knock. “If you don’t want to that’s okay? But I’d like to say some things to you.”

Jaime is startled out of their reverie by the knock on the door.

“Uh, sure? Who is it?”

Jaime has been trying to keep out of the way of most people around the base, so they’re not really familiar with everyone yet. They’re also sure they haven’t even met the half of them.

Adria hesitated realizing she hadn’t introduced herself. Then slowly spoke after a moment.

“I guess my names are Adria, Lavender, and I guess the Orixa now. Mostly Lavender though that’s what most folks call me. Lav for short. Though Adria is also nice.”

She waited at the door putting a hand on her hip and leaning on the opposing side of the door frame on her elbow.

Oh. Alright. Jaime wonders what Cyclone wants her to say to them, but there’s only one way to find out.

They step across their room and open the door, nervously mussing with their hair a bit, out of habit.

Adria looked down at Jaime a slightly bemused smile at the sad look on their face. “So bad first impression of the team, eh? It doesn’t mean much really. Everyone had a bad first mission. Even Cyclone, though he’d probably never let anyone know that.”

Lavender gave them an assessing look up and down. “I’ll let you in on a few tricks of the trade if you tell me how you are doing with this transition? Though we should do that somewhere you are comfy is here that for your or…?”

Jaime shrugs. “The team has been fine...I’m just not used to um. Being snuck up on?” Mostly because they’d been the one doing the attacking, and the sneaking. And there was usually a betrayal or two in there. That was always fun.

“Here is fine,” they say, gesturing so Lavender can enter. There’s a chair that they can sit on, while Jaime climbs on top of their bed. “You have some tricks?”

“That makes sense to me.” The girl walked in carefully striding and sitting on to the chair. She leaned back sinking into the chair a bit. “Yeah, I do. The first one is don’t play by someone else’s rules not Cyclone’s nor mine. You need to learn who you are on your own.”

Right. Their own rules. Because that’s so easy. Jaime huffs a laugh and gives Lavender a wry smile.

“Dunno if you know this about me, but who I am tends to change depending on who I need to be.”

“Then change that to finding out who you really are. If you are so good Mx Chameleon”

Expressionlessly she crossed one her legs over onto the other. Lavender then spoke again.

“I mean my next piece of advice was play to how everyone sees you but you need to figure out who you are before that.”

“I figure,” Jaime says. “Conceit of the powers, I suppose. Not really good for self-expression.”

Jaime eyes Lavender, noticing, for the first time, the flower on the back of her hand. It looks, familiar.

“Is that…. Wait a sec. Are you that Lavender?”

Adria’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean that Lavender?”

She let the words sit for a few seconds before smirking. “If you mean I was a headstrong idiot who worked for and with the wrong people then yeah. That was me.”

“Fuck,” Jaime says, their heart finally deciding to start beating again after the pause. “Yeah, that. I’m, uh, trying to get away from my own wrong people. You might have heard of me then. Or who I was.”

Jaime really, really hopes Lavender doesn’t put two and two together, but she looks smart. Their group was kind of infamous. But something has them thinking they could trust Lavender, even with the bristling sarcasm and easy confidence.

“I mean if I might know you just tell me. I could take a guess based on body language, location, and the teams I know of but like it is easier and better for our trust if you told me.” She sat up straighter in the chair. Her expression was blank leaving only sad distant brown eyes staring back into Jaime’s. “I am not going to go tell everyone out there… That’s your choice.”

Jaime knows they should trust the team. It’s part of the reason they even joined, isn’t it? Shit happens. They’ve got bad people after them, or who know about them….

“They used to call me Doppelganger. Because of, well, this,” they say, gesturing to their whole everything. Even if they look mostly like themselves now, they hope Lavender gets what they’re saying. “I can look like anyone I want, if I take enough from them. You can see how easily that could be abused.”

A flash of recognition washed over Adria’s face. She then quickly but unsubtly shifted back into her face of indifference.

“Ahh, I get that. Lots of powers are easy to abuse. Teleporter, here, pretty much always had a getaway ready. Just open a portal then we were gone.” She sighed looking over at Jaime. “So… I guess that means we’ve worked together before…”

“Seems like plenty has changed since then,” Jaime says. “For both of us. I never wanted to do what I did….just thought that was the only way.”

It’s been a while, and Jaime has done plenty of jobs, so the details are a little foggy. But now that they’re thinking on it, there’s a familiarity to Lavender. They remember enjoying working with them in the past. They wonder what it’ll be like in the future. You never got too close to the people you were on a job with

“Yeah, I get that. I was misguided. Thought it was all for the greater good. Then when you start to get out of it someone drags you in through threats, promises, or something else.” She clenched her flowered hand into a fist. “It’ll be even harder with less distance, I think…”
“There wasn’t a greater good for me,” Jaime says, bitter. “I thought the only thing I could do was hurt people. I was a fucking vampire, and they wanted me bloodthirsty. It’s what this is for.”

Jaime’s voice cracks, and their eyes sting. “I can show you, if you want.”

They offer their hand to Lavender.

“Show me.” Lavender leaned in a little bit and took their hand in both of hers. “It’s okay, Jaime. Your powers don’t make you a vampire or a monster. As I said earlier only you can choose who you be.”

When the pain, if there was pain, Adria could deal with it. She knew that you kinda got used to pain after a while.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” they say. This trust that Lavender is giving them is a strange and heady thing.

Jaime starts to draw out Lavender’s energy, slowly at first then, once she’s used to it, increasing the flow. She’s interesting, sharp and shadowed and bright all at once. It’s a bit of a rush, and Jaime can feel the power underneath, still untapped.

They can feel themselves changing, and they let it. When they stop, they could probably pass for Lavender’s half sibling— skin darker, hair shorter and curlier, standing a bit taller. They took enough to show off, but not enough to severely fatigue her. She’d be fine, after a nap.

“Don’t need it to live, maybe, but I wasn’t always that good at control.”

Adria gave a small chuckle. “That was kinda neat… I mean you look way more gorgeous, now than before.” The girl said teasingly. She slowly take her hand away from theirs. Her hands feeling like they moved a little slower for a moment.

“Can you just touch someone? Or does that require some concentration?”

Jaime laughs at that. “If you don’t mind passing out, I guess I could get even hotter.” They cringe a bit at the words coming out of their mouth, and hopes it doesn’t sound too awkward.

“I’d pull from everything, all the time, if I let it. It takes concentration to avoid draining someone, when I’m close to them. And I wasn’t always good at stopping it. Figures that’s why Jack decided to recruit me.”

Adria gave a half smile and then went to punch Jaime in the arm and hesitated stopping just short but said it anyways. “Dork.” She then continued. “I get being careful with powers. I had power negation powers that would never turn off, it was difficult around people that were kept alive by their powers. I don’t think I could have thought about not using them though all the time that sounds really difficult”

Jaime flushes. Is this....flirting? They’re still a bit embarrassed about what they said, but at least Lavender didn’t take it the wrong way.

“I can get away with not concentrating too hard if I’m not touching anyone, but yeah. It sucks. I always have to be aware of it, especially if I want to get close to someone.”

Adria smiled and ran a hand through her hair. “Does not being able to be close to someone make you scared of getting close to someone? Have you had trouble with that?”

“The first time I was really….close, I almost killed my boyfriend.” They’re not really sure why that spilled out of them. “So I haven’t really….done much. Not that Jack gave us much time for that either.”

Maybe it’s Lavender’s look, so intense, like it’s piercing their soul. Or the way she trusts them. Or just the fact that she came to talk. She didn’t have to do that. She could have just let Jaime stew.

But she didn’t.

“You’re a cute teen, babe. You deserve the opportunity to kiss all the girls, boys, and NB pals you want.” Adria looked down at the ground then back up at Jaime. “I am sorry about your time with Jack but I promise it is going to be better from here on out. I am going to make sure of it.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.” It’s hard to believe that something could be different, if they’re being honest. “Not that I don’t trust you, but life experience is hard to shake.”

“It is. I get that. Things might not feel better all the time because we can’t erase the past. I can’t take back all those crimes I am complicit in and neither can you.” Adria looked down thinking stay composed don’t dwell on your own thoughts. “It is best to try to do better and look forwards, Jaime.”

“That’s what I’m doing here, isn’t it? Trying to be better? Just- I never thought I’d be able to stand up to them. They’re fucking terrifying. And I know what they can do better than anyone.”

“They are. Especially when they know you just as well.” Adria kept her eyes on her own legs. “Don’t expect me to say some Batman or Ned Stark BS about fear being a tool or something about courage. It doesn’t help it sucks. You just need to beat it though not because of some internal triumph but because people need you to now. People need us to fight even if we are scared because if we don’t then why should anyone else?”

It’s strange, having someone believe in them--especially a practical stranger. It feels good, in a way, but also confusing. And new. It feels like something out of their old life. Something they didn’t get to have any more. But, they suppose, now they do get to have it.

“Yeah. I’m not a weapon. I don’t know if I ever truly thought of myself that way, but I know they tried to make me. And I don’t want them to win. They look up at Adria, and want to reach out, even as they’re terrified of it. “Thanks.”

No one said they had to be them immediately.

Adria looked up meeting their eyes. She was a little flushed. Cheesiest speech to date and you said it to such a cute person. God, I must look... like how can I be so embarrassing.

“No problem, thanks for listening to me. I know I kinda ramble.” The girl’s voice was “soft and slightly breathy.

“No, I…. I think you get it, you know? Like, I haven’t met everyone yet, but they all seem to….. they were always doing this for the right reasons.”

Jaime sees Lavender flush, even just a bit-- is that? God, they wish they were, you know, better at everything. They bite their lip and muss their hair a bit, the texture curlier than they’ve been used to.

“Yeah, I do. Also I mean reasons they think are the right ones. Don’t give them that much credit.” Adria quipped her resting smirk returning. “You definitely owe me a coffee by the way. You know because you need to give me some energy in return.”

“Oh, uh. Yeah. Um thanks for that?” Jaime flexes their fingers. “And, I think I can do that. I mean, I know I can do that. We should, uh…. soon?”

“Whenever you want. Just let me know.” Adria said before adding a nod assuring herself.

They look at Lavender again, relaxing as she gets more comfortable.

“Was that all the tips you had? We kinda got a bit side tracked.”

“If I did I don’t remember it. Oh um… Leadership… Ugh. Just, y’know, lead and stuff. Make plans, do your best, and be an example?” Adria sighed giving a shrug. “I don’t know. It just comes with time and no one is very good at it. So just be better than the other person I guess?”

“Right. You make it sound so easy.” Jaime smiles, a little teasing, perhaps?

“Pft, maybe it’s just cus I like it that way… You know nice, tight, and easy.” The girl leaned forward getting close to Jaime. “I mean how would you want it?”

Jaime can’t help flushing at Lavender moving closer. It’s unusual for them, they’re not used to it. And she’s doing it, even knowing what could happen--

It’s a bit too much for them, this flirting, she’s flirting, right? Why was Jaime so bad at this?

“Want what?” they ask, voice cracking.

Adria leaned back giggling. “Did you get distracted? I was talking about leadership. Keeping your operation looking nice, tight, and easy.”

“I-” Of course she didn’t mean anything by that. Fuck. Of course they’re reading too much into it, but how could an operation be tight? “That’s just. Um. I dunno. I guess I’d just want the trust? And a plan?”

Did they really just not get that? This is so frustratingly cute. Adria nodded along in agreement to what they were saying “Yeah that makes sense. Plans are hard, sometimes it is easier to improvise. Though it is nice to have a structure to fall back on.”

“Were you, uh, talking about a different….operation?” Jaime asks. Maybe it’s assuming too much, but they get the feeling that wasn’t what Lavender was talking about. She’s close to them, Jaime can see her dark lashes, the spring of her curls-- Something twists in their stomach and they pull back, suddenly, unused to any of these feelings, or what they’re supposed to do, or what any of it means.

Not having to feel things was so much easier.

“I was flirting, babe…” Adria said giving them a slight look of worry but the flush returning to her face. Her hand moving to rub the vines along the tattooed arm and wrist. I hate when people are oblivious but ugh is it so cute at the same time. “Is that okay?”

“I-- Oh. Oh, you were. I… I said I was bad at this stuff, right?” Jaime flushes.

“Flirting is, um. Fine. Yeah. It’s good. I just don’t…. It’s different if it’s flirting to mean something? Like if you were interested in, uh, kissing? Or a date?”

Jaime looks up at Lavender, so utterly mortified. They wished they could just melt into the fucking floor. This is awful. This is terrible. Obviously she wouldn’t be interested in them, even if she’s-

Jaime doesn’t even know if they’re interested in her beyond this initial pull of attraction. This intimacy they’ve created. But they’ve just met, essentially, but here they are, and it feels like something’s going to tip over and happen, and is this normal? Is this just what she’s like? Is this just what they’re like?

“I just…. don’t want to, um. Lead anyone on, I guess,” they mumble.

She looked a little pained at the mention of things not being for serious. It could have been due to Jaime. It could be a bitter reminder of something else.

“It is alright to be bad at stuff…” The girl said slowly taking a moment to gather her thoughts.

She spoke after a moment her expression stern but still very much flushed. “And I am interested in you. I just don’t think you should be so ready to dismiss the possibility of a kiss or a date though. Though I don’t think that would be a near future thing… We need to build up trust.”

That was definitely too much info Adria. The stern expression gave way to a more worried one “Sorry if that is like rude…”

Oh, fuck. Fuck, that’s not what they meant. They scrub their hand through their hair.

“I just meant like…. it’s different if I was just flirting for fun, and I didn’t know what your intentions were and I just have…. difficulties with that stuff, and I don’t know you, even if I think you’re hot, and I would, maybe if things were easier for me to do that, I just didn’t know what page we were on and if it meant something to you. Cause if it did, that’d be a different thing and I would probably worry more, and I get like this when I’m worried and--”

They stop, taking a deep breath. In their panic, they didn’t even notice how they were expend some of Lavender’s energy--more quickly than they would normally. They feel a bit winded, and tired, and also would like to crawl into a hole and die, maybe.

“Just cause I-- I could like you. Or want that. I don’t know yet.”

Adria knew that look, she knew moreover what it meant, she went to take their hands hesitated and eventually just put them back into her own lap. “That’s why I said we need to build trust together. We see if we want that by flirting a little bit then if we are serious about it we do some talk to figure out if we both want that.”

Her eyes looked into their greyish eyes and smiled.“That doesn’t mean we rush into anything considering we both just met. We both need to figure out where the other is in life and how the other acts. We need to know if we want the other person and if we want the consequence of the other person.”

God, I wish I was better at this sort of stuff far earlier. Lavender’s hand went back to massaging her wrist and the vines.

Jaime smiles, feeling…. better. Maybe not fully situated, but at least it seems that they’re on the same page now. Which seems like the perfect time to do something brave.

“Then would you want to hang out?”

Adria laugh slightly before quickly nodding. “I'd love to, Jaime.”