Don't Bothers

The **Don't Bothers** were a youth hockey team in southeastern Minnesota during the 2021 hockey season. It was founded Alex Morrow for her son and ex-Mighty Duck Evan Morrow, initally aided by Nick Ganz. A total roster of seven was required to found the team, leading Evan and Nick to recruit five more aspiring hockey underdogs from District Five Middle School. Former coach of the Mighty Ducks Gordon Bombay provided a home rink for the team, the Ice Palace.

Alex Morrow served as the first coach for the team. Her role was eventually suspended by a unanimous player decision after she became hellbent on winning as opposed to having fun, forcing Gordon Bombay to step up in her place. Alex eventually returned to reprise her role as coach after legal issues hindered Gordon's ability to coach hockey. Three additional players joined the Don't Bothers following the start of the 2021 hockey season: Sofi Hanson-Bhatt, Tibor Chapek, and Havel Capek.

The Don't Bothers finished the 2021 hockey season in second place after forfeiting the final against the Mighty Ducks because of a severe knee injury undertaken by Sofi Hanson-Bhatt. An unsanctioned, unofficial, and underground match between the Don't Bothers and the Mighty Ducks was held shortly afterwards. The two teams had agreed that the Don't Bothers would cease to exist after the match, either winning and becoming the new Mighty Ducks or losing and dissolving permanently. The Don't Bothers emerged victorious and became the new Mighty Ducks. The team permanently ceased to exist under the label "Don't Bothers."

## History

### Building a team

#### Evan Morrow, a Duck no longer

Ahead of the 2021 youth hockey season, the Mighty Ducks hold their first team practice in preparation for the upcoming season. Most of the players manage to get to the practice on time, excluding Evan Morrow. His mom failed to get him to practice on time because she was caught up doing work for the Ducksworth Law Firm. Once the Morrows arrived, the Mighty Ducks' coach, Daryl "Coach T" Tingman, took note of the fact that Evan was slow on the ice. After practice, Coach T pulled Evan aside and cut him from the team. He explained that if he wasn't good enough at hockey at 12, he should just "don't bother." Alex responded by confronting T and giving a speech about the insanity of how the Mighty Ducks were running hockey. This speech, nicknamed the "don't bother" speech went viral online, and many students from District Five Middle School shunned Evan shortly thereafter.

#### A bold move

Evan became incredibly depressed after being cut from the Ducks and shunned by his "freinds" at school. He was especially disappointed in his mother for embarrassing him with the "don't bother" speech. Nick Ganz, Evan's neighbor and co-host of *The Wraparound* hockey podcast, went over to Evan's house to get an "exclusive interview" with Alex. She explained to him that Evan was devastated and that it was all her fault, however she had a new idea. Alex and Nick confronted Evan in his room, and the former told him that they were going to start a new hockey team for all of the "don't bothers." Nick agreed to be his first teammate.

#### It all comes together

In order to form an official youth hockey team, they need to have a home rink, seven players, and a coach by Team Day. Alex went on the hunt to find an ice rink that would be willingly to give time for the team. She tracked down a bunch of different ice rinks, however none of them had any opennings for youth hockey. Finally, while out running errands for her boss, legal practitioner and Mighty Duck mom Stephanie Riddick, she happened to come across the Ice Palace. She went into the Ice Palace and found the manager, who introduced himself as Gordon Bombay. He agreed to let her hockey team use the Ice Palace as a home rink in exchange for a large sum of money. However, he committed himself to non-involvement in the team and claimed that he was "not coach material" for hockey.

Evan and Nick had much harder luck coming up with seven players. They had both been shunned at school and were constantly laughed at. Nick attempted to airdrop the entire school about the new team, however nobody opted in. The two of them tried to convince Evan's close friend and Mighty Duck, Sofi Hanson-Bhatt, to leave the Mighty Ducks for their team, but she rejected the offer on the basis that her parents would never allow it. The two discovered Jaden "Koob" Koobler as "Koob13" while play *NHL 22*. They went to Koob's house to ask him to be their goalkeeper, however he rejected the offer because he considered himself far too out of shape. The next day, Logan LaRue moved into Evan's neighborhood. Evan noticed that Logan owned $900 ice skates, and invited the aspiring hockey player to join their team. He accepted the offer, although turned out to be terrible. Ultimately, Evan gave an arousing speech the day before Team Day to try and finally convince some people to come over to their team. Warrior princess enjoyer Lauren Gibby, pseudo-popular kid Maya Kasper, daredevil Sam Samitar, and the aforementioned Koob all agreed to join. They now had their team.

On Team Day, Alex announced their new team to Coach T. Following Minnesota law, he agreed to let the team join the league. However, he still needed the team to provide an official name. After a brief pause, Alex proclaimed their team to be the "Don't Bothers." The team unamiously made her their coach. The Don't Bothers were now an official team.

### Early developments

#### Touchy-feely approach

Following Team Day, the Don't Bothers held their first practice at the Ice Palace. The practice started with everyone getting hot chocolate from Winnie Berigan, the "cocoa girl." Afterwards, Alex Morrow announced their first practice plan - except it wasn't to hit the ice or practice hockey. Instead, they played a game called Outside In where they all sat in a circle and shared one thing that seems obvious about themselves on the outside, and then followed it with something on the inside that not everyone knew about. Evan complained about Alex's approach, insisting that they hit the ice to practice actual hockey.

After completing Outside In, Evan went to Gordon Bombay to complain. Gordon left him without any advice, insisting it was his nap time. Alex then also went to Gordon, and Gordon refused to help her either. Evan then went to confront Alex about it, and she finally agreed to have the team hit the ice. However, instead of a hockey puck, they practiced using beach balls since they were "safer." After a few minutes, she finally introduced a puck, calling it a "black ball of death."

#### Smashed by the Cardinals

The Don't Bothers played their first game against the Cardinals. The Cardinals destroyed the Don't Bothers badly, causing a blowout. Despite a peak performance by Evan, he failed to get a single shot on the goal. The Cardinals slipped several goals past Koob, who failed to block a single shot. The defeat was a humiliating start for the team.

## Team

### Players

* Jaden Koobler (#1)
* Nick Ganz (#7)
* Sofi Hanson-Bhatt (#9)
* Logan LaRue (#10)
* Evan Morrow (#11)
* Maya Kasper (#21)
* Lauren Gibby (#23)
* Tibor Chapek (#26)
* Sam Samitar (#44)
* Havel Capek (#66)

### Coaches

* Alex Morrow
* Gordon Bombay

## References

1. ↑ 1.00 1.01 1.02 1.03 1.04 1.05 1.06 1.07 1.08 1.09 1.10 1.11 1.12 "Game On," episode 1.
2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 "Dusters," episode 2.
3. ↑ "Change on the Fly," episode 8.
4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 "Head Games," episode 9.
5. ↑ 5.0 5.1 "Breakaway," episode 3.
6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 6.2 "Spirit of the Ducks," episode 6.
7. ↑ "State of Play," episode 10.