Q01E02 - A Lap Dance for Hermione

## A Lap Dance for Hermione

You will note that the g-string triangle mimics the shape of Azkaban prison. Danny really is a graphic design wizard.

## Previous and Next

### Next

Q01E03 - Draco's Sex Playlist

The hosts split a two chapter fiction into 3 episodes of the podcast for this quickie, so this episode actually covers the last bit of chapter 1of "Luke the Magician" by FatesFire which is available here.

The episode can be watched on Facebook here.

Hosts went through some of the submissions from the Magical Strip Clubs joke from last episode and shared their favourites, even including some logo designs that Danny put together.

NOTE: The text of the story contains lyrics from the song, however Allie did not read these.

## Episode Summary

Hermione gets a sexy lap dance from an old acquaintance.

## Notable Moments

* Ask Jeeves reference
* The Chamber of Secrets is the equivalent of the Champagne Room. What happens in the Chamber of Secrets, stays in the Chamber of Secrets.
* Mentioned creating merch of the Magic strip clubs, but this never came to fruition.
* Lyndsay apologizes for birthing GIRLS NIGHT! No apologies necessary!
* New cold read intros:
	+ Danny = horny, Dick McPenis (gigglefit), Rocky Balboner (Lyndsay also considered "Tommy Salami" and "Squirt Reynolds")
* Grocery store story: "In a world where register 3 is closed..." (in a movie announcer voice)
* Hosts play "Magic Stick" song from last episode.
* Ron would be lousy in the sack
* Allie impersonates Snape and gives Lyndsay nightmares.
* Hermione's wiggling body may be the sign of a medical emergency
* Lyndsay tries to pinpoint the choreography of Draco's striptease repeatedly. She really needs a mental picture painted for her of this lap dance.
* Draco offers his hard member on the altar of Hermione's lap. (Lyndsay)
* Lots of GIRLS NIGHTt! references
* Who doesn't love a "delicious bulge"?
* Danny is delegated as the expert on wrist binding and release from said binding.
* Musky "scent of her arousal" \*cue vomit reaction\*
* Lyndsay points out how awkward it would be if this happened with someone you went to high school with.
* Season 1 Snape reference by Allie: "Let's throw some towels down and get this party started."
* "from below" is Lyndsay's favourite position, AKA "the submarine"™
* Gasping Lyndsay
* Allie's toque is her Clark Kent glasses; she is unrecognizable in it. She's All That moment.
* Lyndsay confirms that women go to strip clubs to watch a guy's...face. "Get some money out, he's winking!"
* Draco has confidence in spades: "Of course I'm a stripper. Mudblood." ~Allie
* One girl wrapped around you: doggy style. Add two more girls: Fluffy style! ~Danny
	+ "Then someone brings out a harp and ruins everything." ~ Allie
* Draco won't want to take the "from below" position if Hermione is a squirter like last time. ~ Lyndsay
* (A:) So wait...you can strip her on stage in front of everyone, but you can't grab her ass through material? (D:) Rules is rules. (L:) Checks out!
* Draco Lucius (/Luke) Malfoy is finally revealed to Hermione (normally she's more observant than this)
* Lyndsay points out that Draco just broke the Statute of Secrecy by apparating Hermione away in front of a crowd of Muggles.
* GIRLS NIGHT! ends like so many before it...with people being ditched behind at the bar.
* Candidate for least selfish thing Draco has ever done: choosing a hook-up with Hermione over his final performance. And they say romance is dead!
* The hosts commenting that his stripper name is after his father (correction: probably his middle name, which is also "Lucius") is "not the healthiest thing." The hosts strip names would be Nanc (Allie), Mind (Lyndsay), Tricky Dick (Danny).
* Allie admits to inviting everyone in Danny's family to the Potterotics group.
* Lyndsay gets caught up imagining them as adults and is then brought back to reality whenever someone grinds their crotch against someone. Possibly starts questioning her life choices and how she got here. "Oh...this is what we're doing."
* Instead of "March Madness", this podcast is "Crotch Madness"

## Potterotics Shout-Outs

* Magical Strip Clubs: Khalani, Sarah L, Sam?, Sandy C, Claire
* Stephanie - watched this live broadcast while at work. True fan!