The New Avengers

The New Avengers is the eighth chapter in the Wombles Six.

Cathy went back to the ranch.  She saw Steed.  Her eyes went completely white and a long dagger was drawn.  She raised it to throw at Steed who suddenly turned around. “I’m fishing!” he said.  “Are you afraid to catch fish?” asked Cathy in a creepy way.  “No!” replied Steed.  Cathy turned around and headed back to the Canadian SCARE HQ.

Just as she left a helicopter landed.  The A Team came out.  “Fool! SCARE want to kill you!” shouted B A to Steed.  Murdock joined him fishing.  Hannibal came out and glared at Steed.  “I was going to kill you but apparently my sister turned evil.  So since your wife turned evil and given that I am a wanted man, you can join the A team!”  Steed didn’t know what to say.  He was going to reply when Commander Bond parachuted in.

“Steed!  I was going to kill you but it turns out that my brother was going to kill a woman.  So I’d like to join forces with you!”  Steed was going to reply when an army jeep drove up to the ranch.  It was Colonel Decker.  “If you can’t beat them!  Join them!” he said.

Finally Steed got a word in. “Thank you Mr Smith but I have a better idea.  You are all invited to form the New Avengers!”  “What about A team fool!” said B A.  “The A team can be in the New Avengers” replied Steed.  “Military intelligence?” asked Bond.  “That too” replied Steed.  “You and Colonel Decker can work in NAMI together!”

Just then Johnny and McSteed arrived.  “Don’t forget us dude!” said Johnny.  “Aye! You’ll need more Steeds!” added McSteed. Rider Ranch became New Avengers HQ.

Mrs Peel had managed to get out of the ground by herself this time.  Immediately she saw Bungo.  She knocked him out.  “That’s what you get for drugging me with cocoa and blowing up the building I was in!” she said.  “In fact I actually feel like killing you!”  She walked along and tripped over something.  She picked it up.  It was a very familiar looking machete covered in blood.  Suddenly she remembered her killing everyone she saw. She remembered saying she wouldn’t turn good because it felt so good to be bad.  She remembered more and more and more.  She now felt as if she was literally back in those times.

She remembered how much she had wanted to kill Cathy.  She remembered how much she had wanted to marry Steed.  She remembered how good it had felt to be bad.  She remembered that as soon as she turned good she felt bad because Gambit had tried to kill her.  She felt rather muddled now and wasn’t sure what to do.  She ran off to SCAR HQ.  She had decided to rejoin.

Meanwhile Katy had gone to attack NAMI with her entire hypnotized army. “People of the good side!” she called out. “I have an army of 15 thousand people under my control, including the woman who was once known as Queen Lady Catherine Steed the Sixth! They will fight a war with whoever is in my way. I have been looking for treasure but the place I searched was so pathetic that it only contained an annoying woman in a tracksuit!”

Katy went on & on & on & on & on & on & on…then suddenly a plane crashed in which was flown by Mrs Peel. “The woman from the hole!” shouted Katy. Mrs Peel landed violently & got out. “Everyone!” she announced. “I have gone back to SCAR! Katy, would you like to join?” “If you will let me run SCARE.” Katy replied. “Alright, as long as I can run the UK branch.” Answered Mrs Peel. “Deal.” Said Katy. “Now us two & her army must kill NAMI.” “But Steed seems to be with them.” Replied Mrs Peel. “We’ll discuss what to do & attack another time.” Said Katy. They got in the plane & flew back to England to kill Charlie, Gambit, Diana & the wombles.

“Who was that?” asked Commander Bond.  “Mrs Peel my ex-wife” replied Steed.  “You married an insane woman in a wig who wears weird pyjamas and wields a blood stained machete?” asked Colonel Decker.  “No, actually she used to be sane, pretty and quite nice really but now she is a weirdo who generally wants to kill people.  My current wife is a Katycat zombie who wants to kill people with a long dagger.  So I don’t really have much luck do I?”

“Not really but maybe if we kill this Katycat then your wife will be normal again?” asked Bond. “That’s true but how do we get to her to kill her?  And what about Mr Teddy Bear?” asked Steed in return.  “Well it sounds to me like we have problem gentlemen!  And there is nobody else to solve it!” said Colonel Decker.

“If you have a problem a nobody else can solve maybe you can hire” said a mad sounding voice.  “The A team!” said a deeper voice.  Somebody blasted The A Team in the ranch with big a gun. Then the mad voice started singing. “Da da da!  Da da daa!  Da da da da! Da da da da daaa!”.  Steed, Bond and Decker suddenly saw a man dressed as a ranch-hand.  “Howdy Stranger!” said the ranch-hand.  “Why are dressed up like that?” asked Steed.  “You’ve hired the A team!” said Face.  “He’s clean!” said B A but he was too late.  “Why are you pretending you don’t know us?” asked Bond.  “That’s what we always do” replied Hannibal.

“Anyone for qoffee?” asked Frankie.  “What’s qoffee?” asked Bond and Decker.