Amateur hour in the Mouth of Doo.... Holy shit is that A DRAGON!!!

**--The Stuck Pig**

Indigo sits enjoying is personally laced ale, and remembers the events of his first job in this miserable little town with a mix of disgust, shock, but mostly... Amusement. He was mostly disgusted with himself... He had let worthless swamp beast get the best of him in the camp, paralyzing him, and he would likely have perished were it not for the assistance of his party. He had rushed out of his tent to finish what he thought was the only one left of two, and had done so, but then had been set upon from behind. Pathetic. He had been trained better than that, and it had immediately humbled his ego.

Ah yes, his old friend and nemesis the ego. Back rearing his ugly head again as he arrives in a new town. That endless cycle where it inevitably starts to cause him to look down upon its squalid residents with disdain. That stupid part of the self that could arguably be responsible for all misfortune of the universe on in either subtle indirect ways, or outright undeniably obvious superluminal ways. The, "You hurt my feelings, so I'm ending this entire plane of existence way!" He had actually see that happen...

He chuckled for a moment at that memory, and then immediately felt bad. That was an entire plane of existence. Countless lives lost. Have you no humanity? Hey, it wasn't my plane of existence, and I really didn't know anybody there... Well, know anybody there that well. Good point. What the.......

His internal monologue is interrupted by a sound coming way off in the swamp. His are senses sensitive to the point that he has to consciously focus on tuning out the various layers of sound based on proximity.

Yeah, ignore that flapping.... Pretty loud though?... Ignore. It.

It's one of the first things you're taught when you're.... Born the way he is. As a baby you cry and cry and whale away the day, as your parents are trying to sleep. Endlessly tormented by the sense teething. There is now way to lessen the torment. No way to really speed the process. It's like walking. You have to let the child learn it naturally through suffering.

His thought of suffering takes him back to the swamp. Well, the dungeon in the swamp.

**---The road to the Mouth of Doom**

This.. "Mouth of Doom", which from what he gathers may in fact be a sentient dungeon is not far from the town. Apparently, it used to be further. Yeah, that's totally normal and not weird for a dungeon at all...

Definitely checking of a few boxes on hungry for tasty soul sentience for sure. This is not unheard of, and it does refer to itself as a "Mouth of bla bla", and I mean at some point you had to read between the lines right? Regardless, he had accompanied the group of what he thought was mostly unremarkable amateurs into the Mouth of Doom. He as fairly confident, the dungeon would not swallow them whole. Generally, these things lived off the suffering and torment that occurred inside them. They would twist and morph the reality within their Astral-Dimensional walls to create mazes filled with demons, traps, and horrors beyond description or definition with the puny words and ideas of most humanoids, but they would often let many adventurers that came in leave...ish.. They often left pieces of themselves behind, both physically, psychically, astrally, and well... You get the picture. They would feed of these pieces, and use the link it made with the escaped victims to torment their minds further, twist them, make them obsess, and then inevitably draw them back to the their maddening depths of endless torment. It was actually a nice little racket these things had going, when you thought about it. So yeah, most of them let those braving the depths escape, or at least you were able to if you were careful, because they didn't control reality entirely. They did have limits, and if you strong enough, clever enough, and lets be real, LUCKY enough, then you could get out, regardless of if thing did decide that you were interesting enough to keep as an extended stay guest. Yeah people got out... At least most of them....Well, usually at least one of every group. if that was the case, he was confident he would be that one. These were after all, unremarkable amateurs.

He turned out being surprised going in both ways on that assumption, so he figured that got him even money on his own personal bet that he made regarding the various levels of ineptitude that he was about to experience. The level of ineptitude of some, far surpassed what he expected, but there was exceptions... Kind of?..

**--The Stuck Pig**

FLAP

FLAP

FLAP

Tune it out. Damnit. Just some swamp... bird? Was there birds out there? He takes another drink, and drifts back to the swamp, and the mouth..

First, one of their agreed members was late, and missed the nights events with swamp creatures all together. This "brave" individual move forward right away appearing to know what they were doing, but then clearly and promptly demonstrated that they did not. At all. Even a little. He laughs at the memory, as he sips his drink.

**--The Mouth of doom**

He couldn't exactly be bothered to remember the names of all this fodder, and this was an example. He did remember that he had a very odd spelling for his name, considering how he wanted it pronounced... Voluptuous or something? Anyway, as soon as he saw some goblins, that were so very obviously waiting to spring a trap, he rushed it. He would have done an actual face palm, but he was busy holding his sword and shield at the ready to defend against the, again obvious, ranged attack ambush these foul, but generally clever creatures planned to spring on some hapless adventurers. One of them ran one way, one of them ran the other, shots were fired, and they had a man down.

He immediately saw the opportunity the down member presented. They had managed to kill a goblin, lucky shot, as it ran down the hall at them, but were taken down an outright barrage of darts thrown by what he counted as least 4 to 5 more of the creatures based on the sounds, and number of darts thrown. He wondered for a moment if these were the kind of Goblins that smeared shit on their daggers... Oh well, that's why he wasn't a healer.

He dragged the kid to safety. He didn't deserve to die for his carelessness. As much as Indigo was annoyed by him, he didn't want to see him eaten by the goblins, but he did see a chance to utilize the failure to their advantage. He leaves the... Not sure what he was actually. Probably some kind of kamikaze warrior he's guessing, but he quickly leaves him in the perfect spot to get mended, let Indigo move up to the corner maintaining cover. If the healer worked fast-

He did, and he had to admit that wasn't the work of an amateur. He puts a hand on the Kamikaze, and urges him to stay still, so that the goblins will come around the corner and see him, think he is alone and dying, and all move in to pounce. Then, we can turn the table and Ambush them!

The kid doesn't acknowledge him at all, doesn't even look his way, he gets up, and he charges down the hall. This time Indigo has to set his sword away and brings his palm to his face, shaking his head in frustration and disbelief. This isn't pointless motion though, as he is pulling out his handbow, because he. Is. Not. An. Amateur... This guy though.... Yeah, definitely some sort of Kamikaze caste. Oh well, good bye. He would say it was nice to him, but he didn't really get to know the kid yet, and unless he was really lucky, he was definitely charging to his imminent death. Hey, at this rate it would probably be quick, so that's something right?

He's imagining the goblins sitting at the end of the hall, waiting for some idiot just come running into the room sword or axe or whatever, but may as well just be their masculinity if we're being honest clutched in their white knuckled hand... Do you really think someone will fall for this they are thinking.. Nah, we should set a different trap.. Nobody is this du....

OH what do you know, here's one right now!

KABLLOOOOOOOOMMM!MM!!!!M!!!!!!

**--The Suck Pig**

FLAP

FLAP

FLAP

Ok, this was getting annoying, and it did seem to be getting closer. Maybe someone was being chased back towards the town by something.

FLAP!!

Yeah, that was bigger than he was trying to mess with. He was going to just stay in here in the corner and drink is \_\_\_\_laced Ale. Another sip, and he's tuned out the flapping again.

**--The Mouth of Doom**

They all felt the explosion as the improved explosive projectileThe explosion rocks the whole dungeon, and he's afraid it may come down on them for a minute from the blast. The shock of it dilates his time sense up to maximum, and he watches with amusement as the kamikaze warrior rag doles through the air back down the tunnel he just suicidally ran down...For the second time... In a row....

So now, he's picking the things using the guy as bait properly. Meaning, he wasn't calling to get the guy mended, because he was more use to Indigo as both cover, and bait. It was working like a charm. These things really weren't that smart. Clever, yes. Smart... Not so much. They just kept running around the corner, and getting shot, finally he managed to grab one with his curse, and make it toss a rock back in at their leader. He wasn't sure it did much, but it was hilarious and almost made him smile a little too much. Oh well, this kid was out cold bleeding, and wasn't aware of the piss that was currently filling his armor, much less what Indigo was doing. He caught himself staring at the blood for too long, and focused. He moved forward to cover the hallway, so he and the other members of the team fighting at the other branch of the tunnel, didn't get ambushed from behind... Mostly so that he didn't get ambushed from behind, but they got to ride along with the plan by proxy. W

What the fuck was he even doing here. There was no way the 6 Fingered Vamp was here.

He could tell with his senes, that almost exactly the same scene was about to play o---

KABLLLLLOOOOOMMMM!!!!

Yup. Mental face palm again.

The blast does the same thing to.... Was it Lushess?.. No, that's not right. He's pretty sure he's not dead...., Well, he's at least not blown apart by the blast, and if you have all your parts attached, then there was a good chance a decent healer could fix you up, and lucky for this comedy duo, they appeared to have one.

They all barely make it out of the place alive though... After being mended, they really needed to stop doing that for these guys, they are just gonna get themselves actually killed eventually, the guy proceeded to open another door of the dungeon, while they were still in combat.... What. The. Actual. Fuck. Yeah, these guys need to stay down, before they got everyone killed. Best let em sleep it off he's thinking. They can drag them to safety of course! He's not a monster.... Well, he's not that kind of monster.

Well, that probably doesn't matter, because that was a bone beast of some kind, and it had horns. Big. Ass. Fucking. Horns. Yeah, no he thanks, time to cut and run. Nice to meet you and sorry about the whole leaving you in the ravenous sentient dungeon, so that your soul is subjected to endless torment. I owe you a beer if you ever make it back ok? Yeah, he was out of here. He was pretty sure the best thing they had to fight it with, was some poorly made rocks and slings he had just pulled off the goblins. Nope. Not doing that one. Then, the healer. This mysteriously badass healer with a very peculiar accent manages to get the group up, and running towards the exit. They are probably going to make it they stick toget.... Wait. What the actual fuck. Again.

The healer is now running Indigo's way, and leading the undead horde directly at him, rather than running directly to the exit. This has cut off Indigo's direct exit, and he is now going to have to run out a round about way. He can make it, but he's not sure about the healer, and then the guy... He thinks it's a guy. He's actually been wearing a mask the whole time. The guy stops, and starts messing with a corpse. He explains he already looted that one, and they need to run. NOW! They guy says he needs the things head for some research or something? Ok?.. Done. He slices the head off in one smooth motion, and bolts down the all with the head in hand. The healer follows him. Focused on the head almost like he/she is chasing it rather than trying to get out of the dungeon... Ok, same difference. Here boy! This way! Fetch the... What kind of head was this actually? He hadn't been paying that close attention to which corpse the.... Healer?... Was fumbling with. He just decapitated i with deft ease, and made bolted in what he hoped wasn't too much of a blur. He didn't want to give himself away, bu the mostly didn't want to leave the healer to die. Weird monster head fetishes aside, he seemed like an alright guy. It was close, but they got out. Just fucking barely.

After the dungeon, they had a very strange experience in the swamp, and the head, an-----

The sound of the a wet thudding on the roof of the Stuck Pig causes him to spill his drink. What the fuck! Then the voice booms out, and he realizes what the flapping was, realizes he should have known it sounded to big to be a bird, and to deliberate to be that of a non-sentient. That is a fucking DRAGON! Everyone is running outside of the bar, and as stupid as that would seem, it's actually the right thing to do. They usually liked to torch a building or two while in town just to show their superiority and generally show of their super impressive fire breath, and you never knew which one they might pick.. Best, not to be inside. The fire breath really was actually, so the whole thing definitely had the air overcompensation, when there really didn't need to be. You're Dragon. Everyone is terrified by default to the point of shitting themselves. No need to make it a "Thing".. Right?

Apparently there is need to make it a "Thing". As he steps out of the Stuck Pig, he watches the dragon, which he has learned is named RageMaw(Yeah so not messing with that thing), swoop down and light a whole row of houses on fire. Definitely people in there. Fuck. Don't get involved Indigo. The Dragon swoops overhead and seems to be content to let the buildings burn as is... Dammit Indigo. Do not get involved.

He realizes with a shock that causes him to choke on the drink he was taking, that the Stuck Pig, is the only bar in town!

The Dragon is swooping around again, and he watches helplessly.. Maybe he did need to get to the point he could a Dragon because to be quite frank.. This sucked.

Don't burn the bar. Don't burn the bar. Please oh Please. Please..Do..Not..Burn the bar.

**The story is continued in the RP chat starting on Friday at 1:58 AM PST**