Episode 007: ASDFsfdA;;DAIFDJL:KDSJ:FS;js;dkf♥♥♥♥

This nug is going to need some more time in the oven. Why not help contribute to the wiki by **filling in some of the gaps**?

## Details

### Listen

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*This week, Nick and Griffin explore Nintendo characters who know how to party, take a submission from Griffin's brother Travis, trudge into uncomfortable territory with Dad or Alive Extreme, and Nick gets a visit from a very special plumber (NOT MARIO).*

## Introduction

Nick announces the episode as a special-all SpongeBob SquarePants episode of CoolGames Inc with a remix of one of the show's songs, and then proceeds to incorrectly give Sandy Cheeks' name as Shandy Seashells The Squirrel. Griffin presents the concept of doing the episode up like a box of Nerds, where one audio channel is all SpongeBob and the other is all Minions, thus achieving double plays on the podcast.

In the sales report, it's revealed that *Hugh Jackman's Huge Actin'* was more about the art, creating a new generation of theatre goers and doers, as well as providing a nice boost to Hugh Jackman's career. They also lost all of their money.

## This Episode's Game

*"Twitch Plays RPG Maker" (submitted by @danibarstad)*
Inspired by other similar projects, ***Twitch Plays RPG Maker*** is an experimental Twitch channel, consisting of a crowdsourced attempt to create a roleplaying game using *RPG Maker* by parsing commands submitted by viewers via chat. Character names, spells and dialogue would be gibberish, a critical path would be impossible, and one of the enemies would be a boat. Nick suggests building NPC dialogue from a dictionary, but Griffin disagrees as he wants the game to be a mess.

## Other Game Ideas Discussed

### *Mario Party*, but they *actually* party

Yoshi and Wario engage in a drug-free, straight edge teenlife and rave to the *Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix* soundtrack in the fellowship hall of a church. (submitted by @gavin\_farmer)

### Cool Femur 2: Rad to the Bone

Griffin struggles to understand the game conceit of his brother's suggestion, while Nick struggles to understand where the femur is located. (submitted by Travis McElroy)

### Sports with randomly generated rules and equipment

A game by Derek Yu, creator of *Spelunky*,where the rules and equipment are randomly picked every time you play (example: everyone has rakes and the rule is "don't touch the rakes"). Griffin wants someone to invent a new digital football, then remembers that *Rocket League* exists. (submitted by @starrrsky)

### Spider Warrior

*Recently released our new IPhone games - Spider Warrior. Check out http://www.coolgamesinc.com* (@CoolGamesInc\_, 11 October 2009)
This is an actual iPhone game developed by a real-life company called 'Cool Games Inc', who had control of the @CoolGamesInc username on Twitter (at the time) and had published exactly one tweet. Griffin suggests that this game has two halves, with one being an arachnid-themed shoot 'em up and the other being an emotional game where you learn to love a spider and its family. (submitted by @EnduringBeta)

### *Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes* but the bomb manual is comprised entirely of Jaden Smith tweets

Examples include "There Is No Dress.", "That Moment When Peeing Feels So Good You Start Crying.", "How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real", "If I Had A Nickel For Every Time I've Cried In The Back Of An Uber, I Would Have Another Pair Of Yeezy's."

### Ted Cruzin' USA

A non-stop campaign bus racing simulator in which Senator Ted Cruz plays the guitar on a bungee cord à la *Mad Max: Fury Road.* The player must balance cross-country racing with campaigning for money to upgrade their bus. Talent trees include alternative energy sources to fuel your bus, smartphone technology to improve your map, and a gun to shoot other racers. (resubmitted by @quantumdotdot)

### Minigolf but with guns

A VR multiplayer game in which 18 people play simultaneously on an 18-hole minigolf course, with a different player on each hole before being rotated after 60 seconds. Players dual-wield pistols and must shoot their ball into the hole while also shooting at each other. Additional cover is provided by waist-high walls surrounding each section. Failing to sink the ball within the time limit incurs a health penalty.

### Griffin and Nick vs. The Inappropriate Plumber

Nick has an Amazon Dash button set up in his bathroom to order toilet paper. During the recording of this episode, this button was accidentally pressed by Nick's plumber, thus ordering $10.86 worth of Charmin. Griffin suggests making a game based upon this incident.

### Braid Bob's Beard

*"The twist is Bob doesn't want you do braid his beard."* (submitted by @NikiBrynn) A stealth game where the player must sneak up on Bob and braid his beard, a few tassels at a time.

### you're a Rude seagull trying to steal stuff from people on the beach

An unconventional stealth game where you play as a seagull which can be killed easily, similar to *Mister Mosquito*. (submitted by nina freeman)

## Trivia

* This is the first episode of CoolGames Inc which does not have a guest.
* The title of the episode's game is never actually spoken in the episode, though it can be presumed this is due to it being a random jumble of letters.
* The full version of the *SpongeBob SquarePants* remix which Nick plays at the start of the episode can be listened to here.
* Griffin and Nick eventually managed to seize control of the @CoolGamesInc username from the real Cool Games Inc, who was subsequently moved to @CoolGamesInc\_.
* The CoolGamesInc.com domain (having expired long ago) was registered by @waffle\_iron shortly before this episode was recorded. It now redirects to the CoolGamesInc SoundClound page and ownership has been transferred to Polygon.