Quotes

## Metal Saw (Ep. 01x02)

* **Mac:** "Yeah... Not the best idea, but right now we NEED a distraction."
* **Jack:** "No one, I mean no one, likes a barfight better than me. But you just blew up half the bar with us in it!"
**Mac:** "I had no choice!"
**Jack:** "You're gonna kill us before Marco does!"
* **Jack:** \*looks like he’s about to break down crying as he walks after Sara Adler towards the stairs\*
 \*Starts laughing\*
 **Mac:** “What are you laughing about?”
 **Jack:** “Oh, I just realized I have terrible luck with women, man…”
 **Both:** \*chuckles lightly\*
 **Jack:** “What are you laughing at? You ain’t no better…”
 **Mac:** \*Sighs\* “Well, at least we have each other…”
 **Jack:** \*Looks towards Mac\*
 **Mac:** “Don’t look at me. I know how weird it sounded…”
 **Jack:** \*Nods, pulls a smile, wipes away a single tear trailing down his cheek, and chuckles\*
* **Bozer:** "Now, I'm not supposed to show a civilian this, but here's how we do it at work. The secret to a perfect patty, is the meat mixture. If you don't get it exactly right; BURGER FAIL!"
 **Riley:** "Dude... It's just a hamburger..."
 **Bozer:** \*looks a little offended\* "Never say that... My, caramel godess... When I make it, it's edible art..."
 **Riley:** \*giggles\*
* **Mac:** "9-8, Game point! Got anything to say before I send you to the showers?"
 **Jack:** "Thank you..."
 **Mac:** "For what?!"
 **Jack:** "For Caracas... You ehh... You really brought your A-game... In Caracas... I, I appreciate that."
 **Mac:** "You were right, man. Nikki got in my head and I need to let that go..."
 **Jack:** "Well, the good news is you don't have to go through this alone. You've got me..."
 \*grabs the basketball out of Mac's hands\*
 "Ain't you luckyyy!!!" \*grins and points at Mac\*
* **Mac:** "Yeah, we'll be in soon... Just gotta put this old man out of his missery real quick..."
 **Jack:** "Yeah-yeah, okay, yeah... Tell Bozer to brand a big-ass 'L' on Mac's burger, cause I'm gonna take this little boy to school, little boy!" \*Pushes Mac in the shoulder\*
 **Mac:** "Oh yeah, old man?" \*PUNCHES Jack in the shoulder\*
 **Jack:** "Ow, dude!" \*Doubles over and holds his shoulder like he's in some real pain.\*
* **Mac:** \*pointing at Riley\* "You know... She is the closest either of us get to having a stable relationship with a woman..."
 **Jack:** \*shakes his head\* "No, that's not even... That's true... Actually, that's sad..."

## Awl (Ep. 01x03)

* **Jack:** \*Talking to his father's headstone\*
 "You should’ve seen it pop
 The whole building is on fire, and we jump out ass-backwards with these airbag things
 We were…we were fearless.
 I’m not gonna lie to you, the kid was fearless, I was scared as hell
 but I ain’t gonna let him know it, y’know what I mean"

## Wirecutter (Ep. 01x04)

* **Mac:** \*Looking up at the cord locking the door\* "Not bad"
 **Jack:** "Oh my god, he’s an old you"

## Wrench (Ep. 01x06)

* **Mac:** \*Leans over Jack's shoulder and whispers\* "Slush molds."
**Jack:** \*Startled\* "Ayyy"
 "Aww man, if you give me a heart attack, you know what to do, right?"
**Mac:** "Probably not."

## Can Opener (Ep. 01x07)

* **Mac:** "Actually, I - I got an idea. You go!"
 **Jack:** "Wait a minute, you really have an idea, or you just tryin to get outta runnin?"
 **Mac:** "Jack! Go!"
 **Jack:** "You’re just tryin to get outta runnin!"
* **Jack:** "Yeah!... That is one of the craziest plans I’ve ever heard, and I love it!
 \*beat\*
 How are we expected to make this happen?"

## Corkscrew (Ep. 01x08)

* **Jack:** "What took you so long?"
 **Mac:** "I thought you were out chasing leads?"
 **Jack:** "No…No, I watch your back.
 It’s my job, remember? We talked about this"

## Chisel (Ep. 01x09)

* **Jack:** "Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence there, Yani"
 **Terrorist:** "My name is Yanis"
 **Jack:** "Oh, wait a minute, let me think"
 **Jack:** "Mm, nope, I don’t care"

## Pliers (Ep. 01x10)

* **Jack:** "Oh my god, I’m in a car full of nerds!"
 **Mac:** "Who rented this minivan again?"
 **Jack:** "Really?"
* **Jack:** "Ok, get out."
 **MacGyver:** "What?"
 **Jack:** "These guys are expecting one driver, we’re gonna give ‘em one driver. Get out."
 **MacGyver:** "Are you sure about this?"
 **Jack:** "Eh, not really, but this way, if something goes wrong, you get to swoop in and save a damsel in distress."
* **Cop(Old classmate of Mac):** "Everyone’s going to jail"
 **Mac:** "This feels like home"

## Scissors (Ep. 01x11)

* **Riley Davis:** [to Jack] "I’m not mad because you beat up my dad. I’m mad because you basically were my dad, closest thing I ever had…and then you just left…"

## Screwdriver (Ep. 01x12)

* **Jack:** "Hey, it’s really good to see you"
 **Mac:** "You too, man"
 **Jack:** "A big hug?"
 **Mac:** "We’ll save it for after the flight, alright?"
 **Jack:** "I love you buddy"
 **Mac:** "I love you too, big guy"

## Large Blade (Ep. 01x13)

* **Mac:** "Any last words?"
**Jack:** "Well, I don’t know! I ain’t gonna say I love you or anything!"
**Mac:** "Yeah, I don’t love you either"