The Wire

**The Wire** is the twelfth episode of the science fiction comedy television series *Resident Alien* and the second episode of the second season. It premiered on February 2, 2022.

## Synopsis

Harry has a plan to save Asta and himself but first he must attend the Sheriff's poker game.

## Plot

### Land of the living dead

Harry Vanderspeigle wanders through a cold, dead wasteland, calling for Asta. He gets no answer and asks where everyone is. He enters The 59, but it too is cold and empty. He then turns and is shocked to see the zombified figure of D'Arcy. He asks what happened to her. She tells him that he let everyone die, that it was a big bummer. "Asta?" he asks. "Way too late for her," she says. She tells him she's dead because of her. She asks if he's feeling bad, that he should. He runs off, shouting that he has to save Asta. She sighs. He runs through the wasteland, then wakes up, a horror movie playing on TV. "Scary," he mutters to himself.

Sheriff Mike Thompson and Deputy Liv Baker are in some reeds outside Harry's cabin, spying. Liv tells Mike that she did some digging and that Harry was working at St. Helen's hospital in New York from 2015-2016. She says she left a message with them to try to get some more info. Mike spies Harry pouring some dirt into a wheelbarrow and wonders what he's up to. Liv suggests he could be burying someone, though Mike points out it's a lot of dirt. Back at the cabin, Harry narrates that while his own people prefer the cold, his human body likes the warm days of summer that Patience is having now. He thinks that it's more peaceful, just a group of noisy boaters comes driving by on the lake. He mutters that he hates this place. This cuts to an ad with a man asking people if they're looking for a better place to go this summer. The man, "Mayor Mitch," suggests a visit to Jessup, saying that it's the safest town around and that they pristine lakes, fishing and no dead feet. "So if you're out of patience and you just want to have some fun," he says, "come visit us. 'Cause here in Jessup, the only murder you'll see is on stage at our summer Shakespeare festival." He winks and a disgusted Mayor Ben Hawthorne mutters that he'll put some cyanide in his coffee and call it a day.

Back at the cabin, the octopus 42 tells Harry that he's been digging for a week and wouldn't have had to if he'd just gone home. Harry says he couldn't go home with Max on board, that he never would have got past customs. 42 replies that there's an eject button. Harry tells him he doesn't know anything, that he is a Colorado octopus. 42 replies that he thought they were in India. 42 tells him that he's becoming human, that he's even vulnerable to his own people's attack. Harry threatens to skin him and wear him as protection. 42 asks him if this is how he treats a house-guest. Harry stares at the container with the metal balls of his spaceship. Realizing that something is out of place, he opens it to find one missing. "That little shit-pocket," he realizes. He mutters that Max deserves what's going to happen him, as one of the balls is sitting underneath Max's bed. Max wakes up to find he has a very full head of hair, not to mention a complete mustache and beard. In the cabin, Harry drops one of the spaceship balls down a large hole that he has dug. There is a large amount of electrical activity, rattling 42. He then climbs down a ladder and the interior is now metal-lined. He narrates that with his people coming, he will need a bunker to survive and that he will fix it up and present it to Asta as her new home, that she can live while everyone else fries.

### The new doctor

At the Patience Health Clinic, Asta meets with Mayor Ben. She asks if he's serious, that "she" cannot be the new doctor. Ben indicates the woman, Dr. Smallwood, an elderly woman with white hair. He tells Asta that she's a wonderful physician, one of the first stream to graduate from Harvard Medical School. "Yeah, in the 1940s," Asta points out. "Are you the little girl with the broken arm?" Smallwood asks Nurse Ellen. Ben shakes Smallwood's hand and she comments that she knows a Hawthorne when she sees one. "Send my best to your twin brother, the mayor," she tells him. Asta shakes her head and laughs. She begs Ben to tell Ethan to come back, but he says he texted him that he had a family emergency. Just then, D'Arcy comes in, saying that it's time for them to go. Asta tells her that she can't leave because of Dr. Smallwood. "What do you mean?" asks D'Arcy. "She's been dead for 30 years?" "Hello!" shouts Smallwood. "Oh god, ghost," deadpans D'Arcy. Mayor Hawthorne tells Asta that it's fine, that Ellen is there, so she can enjoy her day off. D'Arcy agrees they should get out of there, so Asta goes off to get her things. Mayor Hawthorne then asks D'Arcy if it's going to rain, looking very uncomfortable. D'Arcy asks if this is because they kissed. He tells her not to shout it. They argue over just how things went down. He leaves, her commenting that she loves the new sign.

Mayor Hawthorne is next standing in front of the town's "Welcome to Patience" sign with Deputy Liv and Sheriff Mike. On the sign is a giant foot painted in red. He says that he wants whoever did it arrested, sure that it's the mayor of Jessup because of his ad. He complains about how nobody thinks their town is safe anymore. He declares that the whole sign is coming down. Meanwhile, Harry sips coffee and Joe's Diner, thinking to itself that it will soon all be gone, with him and Asta safe in the bunker. He wonders who keep the bunker clean if everyone is gone, thinking maybe Dan could cook and clean for them. He then thinks it wouldn't work because they're father and daughter and would turn against him, making him their servant. Dan pours him some more coffee, saying that he looks tired. He tells him that his dreams have turned evil. Dan tells him that it's the mind's way of working out fear or guilt, asking him what's going on. He thinks that he's going to lock him out of the bunker and sweep his ashes with a dustpan. "Nothing," he replies.

Asta and D'Arcy prepare to board a canoe, D'Arcy saying that they need it, that they work way too hard. A guy comes out saying that *she* is supposed to be working. She tells him off and tells her to just not ruin the tour groups. They set off, just enjoying the ride. Back at the Hawthorne house, Sahar is shaving Max's face and warning him to hold still. He says he's mature for his age and that he's had B.O. for a year. She tells him he's not, that he still laughs at scatological humor, saying this happened because he went to space. He says this isn't how space works and she points out that it sure isn't how puberty works. "I have no idea," he comments, keeping very quiet about the spaceship ball under his bed. His mother knocks at the door, saying she brought snacks, but they tell her they're not hungry.

Back on the lake, Asta and D'Arcy just lay back and mellow. They reminisce on past times and listen to music. Asta recalls listening to the music while pregnant with Jay and that Jay seemed to like it. D'Arcy comments that she should have been there and not just some stupid playlist, but Asta reminds her she didn't even know. "I should have," says D'Arcy, that she should have told her. Asta says the only reason she kept it a secret was not to dump things on her. "What are you keeping?" wonders D'Arcy. Asta says it's all about Jay, that she didn't want her ruining her life when she was training in Europe. She says she has a great life.

### Poker

Asta goes home to Dan, who is working on painting a boat. She tells him about her boat ride, and he says that he hopes she wore a lifejacket, that she's the only one keeping the alien from taking them out. She says that she can't help that she's Harry's only friend. He says that Harry should have more, that they're a great town and if he can't see the value of humans there, then maybe they should become extinct. Harry is back at the diner. Sheriff Mike and Deputy Liv observe him eating and speculate on his activities. Mike says that if you want to get inside the mind of a murderer, you have to understand his eating habits. He orders what Harry is eating: pie and chowder. Max and Sahar enter. They sit down at Harry's table. They confront him about the beard Max grew. Sahar says that his spaceship obviously caused gravitational time dilation. "Obviously!" agrees Max. Harry just laughs at them, thinking that they have no idea Max's situation is caused by the alien technology he stole. He says he has a question: what kind of toilet would Asta want to use a bunker. Deputy Liv reports this back to Sheriff Mike, who says that he thought she took a lip-reading workshop. She admits that she could only afford the first three courses.

Sahar tells Harry they're not answering his questions until he helps Max. He says he will if Sahar will stand on her seat and shout "I just farted!" Max says he will, but Mike notes that he wants to, so it has to be her. Max does so anyway, then he and Sahar leaves, but Asta enters and sits across from Harry. He says he ate without her and had wanted to forage off of her plate. She suggests he forage from someone else's, that she's his only friend. He says he needs only one. "And one bunker butler, but I'm working on that," he thinks to himself, considering Jay, then rejecting her. She says he needs to spend time with others in town. He tells her he's met the others "and they're annoying flesh monkeys." She brings him over to Sheriff Mike and Deputy Liv's table, saying he'd like to join their weekly poker game. "Oh, really?" wonders Mike. Mike agrees it'd give them a chance to get to know one another. He then asks if he can take Mike's food.

Harry attends the poker game, with D'Arcy serving as the dealer and Mayor Hawthorne and Nurse Ellen also among those in attendance. He thinks to himself that he's glad he's there, that it'll give him the chance to audition more helpers for the bunker. "Is anybody here worth saving?" he wonders. Meanwhile, Deputy Liv monitors. Harry thinks to himself that he spent fifteen minutes on YouTube to master the game. Mayor Hawthorne talks about how the poker table is a family heirloom. D'arcy reveals that she recently made out with Hawthorne, though he claims that she's kidding. As Harry goes in big, Ellen raises, saying that she doesn't want him to go broke again. Mike asks what she's talking about and she explains that there's a rumor that Harry lost all his money six years ago and tried to sell his cabin to her uncle. He replies that he didn't sell it. "Yeah, you backed out of the deal, which is why I'll enjoy taking all your money tonight," she tells him. She continues that nobody can figure out how he hung on to the cabin. Mike surreptitiously asks if Liv is getting all this. Mayor Hawthorne cleans up, saying that it's all going into making a Patience tourism commercial. Harry thinks he has some sort of transmutation powers, thinking that maybe he could live. Then Hawthorne asks him what his medical opinion is of how long someone can choke a person during sex. "Pass, replies Harry.

Sheriff Mike pays a visit to the bathroom. He tells Deputy Liv he's all clear, asking Liv to give him a double honk to let him know she's alright. She does. He tells her he needs her to find the realtor who was handling the transaction for the cabin so they can set up an undercover recon. He tells her it's time for unofficial sheriff's business and to get off the channel. Back at the game, Mayor Hawthorne writes Ellen an IOU. She tells him it's not a real one because his candles are garbage, but he argues they've got five stars on Etsy. He puts out a big bet, saying he has to make his commercial and he can't lose with the cards he has. He shows his hand. "You lose," Harry tells him, putting down his cards. "So do you," replies Ellen, putting down her hand. She claims her chips. Stunned, Harry punches table in frustration, his alien strength breaking it in half. "Should have kept that in the museum," comments D'Arcy.

### The Patience Murder Tour

Sheriff Mike and Deputy Liv go undercover, pretending to be a couple who are interested in a house. He tells her it's all about the backstory, saying that theirs is that he was a starting pitcher for the Atlanta Braves until he tore his ACL, then transitioned into sports broadcasting. They moved out there because he just a got a lucrative contract for satellite radio and she's his wife. He's also a licensed pilot and horse rancher. "And me?" she asks. He tells her she's the stay-at-home mom of three kids, Alvin, Simon and Theodore. He then comments that she's looking a little tired and probably has five kids. They enter and are greeted by the realtor, Bonnie Shaw. Liv introduces *herself* as the sports broadcaster and Mike as her stay-at-home husband. "Mr. Mom," the realtor calls him, calling the place every homemaker's dream. Liv calls it nice, but says they're looking for something more rustic, smoothly transitioning into asking her about the cabin. She tells her it's the Vanderspeigle cabin, that she listed it herself a couple years ago and that it's off-market. She tells her the doctor who owns it is a real mystery. "So you know him?" asks Mike and she tells him that knowing everything about her clients is her business.

Asta is out riding her bike when she encounters Jay. She asks her how things are going and she says that she's just waiting for her mom. Asta asks her what's new and Jay tells her she got her driver's license, though she can't really parallel park. Just then, Jay's mom comes out and asks her to go park the car. Jay leaves and the mother turns to Asta. She says she always wondered if she would ever meet Jay's birth mother, that she wanted to. However, she tells her that it's up to the child. "You know that, right?" she asks. Asta apologizes, agreeing that what she did was wrong, that Jay was at the clinic asking for a work study and she crossed a line. The mother tells her she'd never stop Jay from being in her life, but it's Jay who has to make the move. "I know," Asta agrees. "Okay," agrees the mother.

Sheriff Mike and Deputy Liv discuss the case, that Vanderspeigle had put the cabin on the market, only to pay it off in cash one week later, at half a million. Deputy Liv asks Sheriff Mike thinks he's a contract killer. Mike says it's a good call, that hardly anyone has that much money sitting in the bank. He himself only has $90,000, just for emergencies. "Seems like a lot," replies Liv. She tries to start her car, but it won't budge. She explains that she needs a new starter, if only she had the $65 to fix it. Mike claims to have been rounding up. He gets out and pushes.

Mayor Hawthorne and Max sit together, eating ice cream. Max comments that it's cool he's going to make a commercial for Patience. Mayor Hawthorne says that if he shows some pretty pictures, people will want to come, but Max tells him they already do. He says that all of his friends have cousins who can't wait to come to see dead bodies or a murder. He suggests he could play a dead body in his commercial. Mayor Hawthorne tells him there's no dead bodies, but just then a group comes by, the "Patience Murder Tour." She says that the doctor who replaced the one was killed went missing, but they expect his body to turn up any day now. "What the hell is this?" wonders Mayor Hawthorne and the tour leader introduces him as the mayor. She talks about how his great great grandfather Dickie called in sick the day the other miners died in the tragic accident that killed the other miners, that his wife found him in the whorehouse and shot him in the face. Mayor Hawthorne calls it an old rumor that isn't true.

Deputy Liv tells Sheriff Mike that he won't believe who just returned her call: Saint Helen's Hospital. They told her that Dr. Vanderspeigle was disciplined after they found him in a lab he wasn't supposed to be in. Stored within the lab? Botulinum toxin. Mike asks if she's serious, that they may have put the wrong person behind bars. She agrees that it's time to talk to Dr. Vanderspeigle, just after she drops off some dry cleaning. As she walks off, the Patience Murder Tour arrives, the leader introducing him as the man who put Abigail behind bars and that she's close to death in her prison cell. Elsewhere, Asta is out driving when she stops and gets a text. It's from D'Arcy, telling her to tune to 102.6 on the radio. Asta does so and hears D'Arcy requesting a song for Asta, saying she'll always come running if she needs her. The DJ recognizes her someone she dated for five months, so she puts on a bad Russian accent. Asta giggles with amusement. She pulls up at Harry's cabin, bringing a box of pizza. She enters, and is surprised to find the cabin seemingly empty. She sees a glow and discovers the ladder leading to the bunker.

### E.T. phone home

Asta climbs down and asks him what the deal is. He tells her that it's a survival shelter and her new home. He says she can choose the rugs. She asks why he has a fallout shelter and he says it's for them, so they can be safe when his people come. "What?" she asks, and he explains that his people are coming. "When?" she asks. He tells her that the octopus thinks it may be a matter of weeks. "Hello again, stupid human," comments 42. Harry tells her that he's working on the bathroom, but if they come before he finishes, they can use a bucket. He says he's also getting a cow if he can figure out how to get it through the opening. She asks if he's joking, telling him that it's not okay, that it was all supposed to be over. She asks why his people are coming and 42 explains that they're eager to fry all humans. She chuckles madly, saying there's no way she can live underground with him for weeks. He tells her it will be at least a year and that he painted her a window. He pulls back drapes to reveal a childish drawing of a happy sun, trees and grass, and dead stick figures on the grass.

Asta tells him it's not happening, rushing for the ladder. He follows her up, telling her not to go, that it will be fun. She tells him she's not taking him seriously, that he has to do something about this. She tells him to phone home and tell his people not to come. He tells her that they'll have all twenty seasons of *Law and Order* to watch. She tells him she'd rather die then be alone for a year with him, that there's no way she can give up her family: Dan and D'Arcy and Jay. She says she can't live there if she has to live without them. She tells him to call his people or she'll just die. He says that she's bluffing like poker, but she shakes her head. She says she would rather face the death ray than spend a second in the whole with him. He thinks to himself that she is bluffing, that he could contact his people, but he wants to kill everyone else. He decides to bluff himself, saying that it's impossible for him to contact him. She says he's now bluffing and she's going to call it. She grabs his toaster, saying she's going to go take a bath. He says she's not really going to electrocute herself as she heads into the bathroom and turns on the taps. "I've got the toaster, all plugged in!" she shouts.

She starts splashing, warning him to call it off. He thinks that he doesn't like the game, that the stakes are too high. He says that she's not really in the bathtub. He enters and finds her indeed in the bathtub, standing in water and the wire of the toaster dangling above and plugged in. He says it's very dangerous and she demands that he agree to call his people. He pulls out a phone, quipping that it went straight to voicemail. "Goodbye, Harry," replies Asta, dropping the toaster. He pulls the plug. "See, I knew you didn't want me to die," comments Asta, that he just took his time showing it. He agrees that of course he does not want her to die and he will try to build a radio. He leaves, saying that he's going to go eat pizza. Asta pushes the safety switch on the electrical outlet.

Sometime afterward, Sheriff Mike and Deputy Liv pull up outside the cabin. Sheriff Mike knocks, but gets no answer. He shouts that he can knock all day, telling him not to make him come back with a search warrant. Asta opens the door. Sheriff Mike says he needs to speak with Harry about the severed foot, but Asta blocks the way, saying he's not there. Sheriff Mike tells her not to lie, that they saw him eating pizza through the window. He enters and Deputy Liv tells Asta that Harry isn't who she thinks he is, that he could be dangerous. She asks her not to protect him. She follows after Sheriff Mike. Asta suggests they come back later and Sheriff Mike threatens to arrest her for obstruction of justice. He discovers a loose floorboard and, underneath it, a cooler with botulinum toxin inside. "The murder weapon," he says. "Oh no," comments Asta. Sheriff Mike says he's asking her one more time where Harry is. "He went to hide in the cellar, " she tells him. He tells her to wait there. He shouts for Harry that they're coming down and put his hands up. They enter the cellar. "Whoa, what's with the guns?" says Asta's voice. The turn and point their guns... at Asta, who holds her hands up. "What in holy hell?" wonders Mike as, upstairs, Asta's form morphs into Harry, holding one of the spaceship balls.

## Cast and characters

Starring:

* Alan Tudyk as Harry Vanderspeigle
* Sara Tomko as Asta Twelvetrees
* Corey Reynolds as Sheriff Mike Thompson
* Alice Wetterlund as D'Arcy Bloom
* Levi Fiehler as Mayor Ben Hawthorne
* Elizabeth Bowen as Deputy Liv Baker
* Judah Prehn as Max Hawthorne

Guest starring

* Meredith Garretson as Kate Hawthorne
* Gary Farmer as Dan Twelvetrees
* Gracelyn Awad Rinke as Sahar
* Jenna Lamia as Judy Cooper
* Diana Bang as Nurse Ellen
* David Lewis as Mayor Mitch Green

* with Nathan Fillion as 42

Co-starring:

* Kaylayla Raine as Jay
* Eleanor Walker as Dr. Smallwood
* Laara Sadiq as Bonnie Shaw
* Trevor Carroll as John
* Lauren K. Robek as Laurie
* Eugene Brave Rock as Shane
* James Mowat as Boater #1
* Lisa Chandler as Boater #2
* Adam Chase as Boater #3
* Rebecca Ferguson as Boater #4

## Quotes

"*I forgot to tell you. My people are coming to kill everyone.*" - Harry Vanderspeigle to Asta Twelvetrees

## Gallery

### Videos

Harry Disagrees With the Stolen Octopus About Max’s Survival - Resident Alien (S2 E2) - SYFYAsta Forces Harry to Save Humanity with a Toaster - Resident Alien (S2 E2) - SYFYHow Does Alan Tudyk Turn Into Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle? - Resident Alien After Show (S2 E2) - SYFYBehind the Scenes of Episode 2- Why Does Max Have a Beard?! - Resident Alien (S2 E2) - SYFY

## External Links

* The Wire on the Internet Movie Database
* Transcript @ TV Show Transcripts
* Transcript @ Forever Dreaming