B;B;B;

***B;B;B;*** is the title of the sixth chapter of Belinda Blinked 6, and is the chapter covered in the sixth episode of the sixth season of *My Dad Wrote a Porno*, released on 28 June 2021.

## Description

*Family ties come to the fore as Belinda finally gets some answers about her mysterious tattoo.*

## Featured Characters

*In order of appearance:*

* Belinda Blumenthal
* George Sylvester (mentioned only)
* Ethel
* Ken Dewsbury
* Dave Wilcox
* Patrick O'Hamlyn
* Giselle Sylvester
* Bella Ridley
* Benny Ridley (mentioned only)
* Tony Sylvester (mentioned only)
* Herr Wolfgang Bisch (mentioned only)
* Mr Blumenthal (mentioned only)
* Mrs Blumenthal (first appearance)
* Clint (first appearance)

## Featured Locations

* Steele's Pots and Pans headquarters
* Kent, England
	+ Belinda's Hometown
		- Blumenthal family home
		- Village centre

## Introduction

*Prior to beginning the chapter, Team Porno discuss...*

* Jamie talking about Rocky's new conservatory at the back of the house, which he built himself, with a hot tub to give him a tropical taste of Brazil
* Jamie recapping the clit-hanging events of the fifth chapter and Alice trying to echo him
* Alice and James talking about the potential for the tattoo and Belinda's history to be revealed

## Synopsis

It has taken Belinda a while to adjust to the front-page-generating news of George Sylvester's death. Ethel provides grey tea and the RSMs provide 24-hour physical support, but the Glee Team are shaken and stirred. The marksman, still unknown, is believed to be on the run, but Belinda is just glad that George suffered a painful demise - the bullet had hit him clean on the willy. That in itself would never have caused death, but because he was aroused at the trigger squeeze, the blood loss was fatal. Belinda wonders if she should view herself as a murderess for arousing him so, but resigns that her tits don't care and neither do Giselle and Bella's. Bella supportively suggests that Belinda can stay with her brother Benny if she's scared, but Belinda says that she will do no such thing. Tattoos are on her mind, and she couldn't trust a soul with even the sniff of a B near their title. However, at Tony's instruction she has to escape the newspapers so she ventures home instead - after all, she has urgent questions that need answering.

Choo-chooing through the garden of England, Belinda gazes upon the polaroid of Bisch's tattoo on his scrawny bum which she took on the hot air balloon. Alighting the train, she breathes in the uncomplicated air of the provinces. Arriving to the family home, Belinda is shocked to find no one there. Belinda thought it was no matter, as her father was probably sniffing a vine (probably from his vineyard) and her mother, a line - parents, she knows, are not perfect. Belinda suddenly has a brain wash - approximately an hour and 37 minutes later, she is swinging her legs as she sits on an old wall behind the bike sheds in the village centre, having bought some ciggies and cider from the off-licence and happily squeezed into her old school uniform. Tie awry, tits asunder and clit awash, she watches life live from her old haunt. Eventually a youngish skinny man with a nose-ring and woollen hat (that looks a little bit like an egg warmer) passes her by, stopping in his lethargic tracks as he double-tracks the past as he spotted her. He asks if he's dreaming or just doped when he sees her, prompting her to flirt that he could be both as he usually is, calling him "dearest Clint". Clint says that he thought she was a mover and a shaker in the big smoke, causing her to laugh that she is, pointing to her rapidly burning cigarette (a 'big smoke') as Clint laughs too. Then she laughs again, thinking how it was always so natural with this dude.

Clint says that it has probably been ten years since he told her she looked like a foxy mama, complimenting her snazzy threads but saying that they'd look even better on his floor. Jumping from the bricks, Belinda twirls in the youthful revels of Clint's hands, creaking his cool work-pod in a revamped C-container and stripping to her default position. Clint drawls that he remembers Belinda's boobies and says "far out!" as he removes his hoodie and drawstring trousers. Belinda is taken aback as she remembers his skin, but now there is not much to see as every capillary is covered in drawings, being particularly struck by his talented colouring-in. Gently, like walking an old lady across a busy road, she takes his manhood in her hands, teasing her gripped fingers up and down the floppy slice of skin to make it more tender. To her, Clint's knob is a magical Aladdin's lamp of passion - the more she rubbed it, the more her wishes come true. In a seamless exchange worthy of the Jamaican relay team she switches from hand to mouth; after a good old go, Clint tells her to quit licking it because he's not a "wibbly-wobbly wonder". Appropriately primed, Clint slips into his old playmate's pussy and rogers the common sense out of her as Belinda whoops from leather-top recliner to countertop cashier. It is factually correct to say that lust is as powerful a drug as heroin, and Belinda is an addict scoring on the badass streets of desire. Reversing, Clint's long lollipop pops out of Belinda's fuchsia vag as she springs back to business.

She muses to Clint if he remembers her eighteenth birthday fancy dress party and his gift to her, both of which Clint says "yeah" to. She traces her finger along one of Clint's pretty skin picture, asking why he did the three Bs tattoo on her (presumably as the gift). Clint looks terror inside himself, but he knew this day would come and knew he had to tell her the truth some day. He says that he did it because he was paid to, causing her to ask who paid him as she puts her hoiked-up skirt back on. Clint responds that her mother paid for it. In a tantrum fit for a toddler, Belinda storms to the door but Clint says that she is forgetting something, needle in hand. Every time Clint has nookie, he asks his partner to ink him a new tat. Reading his body is like a brief history of Belinda's adolescence, making her emotional as she jabs the peace sign onto his scrotum. Clint was her first, but he wasn't her second and wouldn't be her last.

Arriving home, Belinda uses her house keys to enter the family building. In the soft lighting, her mother, feather-in-headband and body-clinging bisk (bask) bulging, leans on the very square-rooted kitchen island. As she slumps into her Cherry Sherry Sling-Back, Belinda rolls her very emotive eyes. Before anything else, Mrs Blumenthal sings to Belinda an intoxicated torch song: "where have you been, my love, you I have not seen, my love, it's true, your body's looking lean, but first and last and only daughter, why do you look so mean?" Old Mother Blumenthal had been an okay burlesque performer all Belinda's existence and before, and her modest success was compensated by her husband's curated (but her operated) wine cellar; whenever she got a bum review they sold another bottle of 1830s champagne, and that's a marriage. Belinda looks bored as her mother caresses her last show-off note: "why do you look so mean?". Belinda asks to chat with her mum and Mrs Blumenthal agrees, unhooking her outfit to show her enticing body as nature had intended. She apologises for her actions, saying that Belinda knows she gets blue when her father's away sprinkling chalk dust around his worldwide vineyards, asking if her daughter wants a glass of family vintage while caressing her luscious tits. Belinda can't resist, saying to do a double helping for her dad in the vineyard. As the two almost-the-same-looking-but-one-older-and-one-younger women drink and nibble bubble and squeak, Belinda dares to ask the question that had toyed with her lips ever since Australia.

She asks Mama B about the tattoo of the gorgeous insignia of the three Bs - the Three B Tree, according to Mrs Blumenthal - and asks what they mean. Her mother responds that B is the most sexy of letters, especially in its capitalised form, and that she should be lucky to be adorned with all three of them in a tree. Belinda says that she always thought it was a reference to her and her parents, causing her mother to change her tune and say that it indeed is a reference to the three of them with a crooked smile. As the matriarch says nothing more, Belinda recounts to her how she met an old man on a work trip who had the same tattoo. Her mother gasps, recognising Wolfie B (the murderous and tyrannical monster of cookware). She looks at Belinda through the empty bottle and says, although Bisch is evil and she's tried to protect her from him at all costs, he is one of them - family. Belinda blinks.

## Notes

* During the episode, Alice talks about how she lectured her secondary school best friend on the dangers of smoking at the age of 13/14 when she found out she was hanging out with the cool girls.
* Alice and James also mock Jamie's accent for Clint, which moves between a Manchester native and Mick Jagger throughout Belinda's dalliance with him.
* James and Alice think that Clint's odd language links back to Rocky's teenage years in the 70s, saying that they think he "belongs in Woodstock".
* James finds out through Google that the Wibbly-Wobbly Wonder which Rocky relates to Clint's penis in this chapter was actually a popular ice cream brand in Ireland in the 70s, 80s and 90s and apparently cost 3 pence.
* Team Porno also discuss the fancy dress parties they have attended in their lives, with costumes including the game Twister, Mrs Doubtfire and Problem Child.