A Snake with a Ladder

Once Sally, Amy, and Cosmo had found their way out of the woods, the three girls saw a little white cottage with a red-shingled roof, a white brick chimney, blue window shutters, and a small blue front door. In front of the house was a gate that matched the window shutters and door, which was accompanied by a small white brick wall and a long white fence that surrounded the house.

"I wonder who lives here?" Sally said, as she and her sisters walked over to the gate. They stood there as the sisters then heard a familiar voice calling out from above an open window.

"Ellie Mae! Where is that girl? Where did she put them? Ellie Mae! Ellie Mae!"

"Bushroot!" Sally, Amy, and Cosmo exclaimed, their faces lightening up as they saw Bushroot from the window. Just as Sally opened the gate and headed toward the front porch, Bushroot closed the window shutters and opened the front door a moment later.

"No use! Can't wait! I'm terribly late! Oh, me! Oh, my! Oh, me! Oh, my!" he exclaimed, as he darted out of the house, holding a gold trumpet in his hand and wearing a white tunic that had a red heart printed on it and a pale blue court ruff.

"Excuse us, Mr. Bushroot," Cosmo said to Bushroot, "We've been trying to—"

Bushroot turned around and ran over to Sally, Amy, and Cosmo, though he had thought Sally was this "Ellie Mae" person he was calling out earlier.

"Why, Ellie Mae! What are you doing out here?" SpongeBob asked her, frowning at her.

"Ellie Mae?" Sally, Amy, and Cosmo repeated, puzzled expressions forming on their faces.

"Don’t just stand there, do something! No, no! Go get my gloves! I'm late!" Bushroot barked, hopping in front of the three girls and holding up his large pocket watch.

"But late for what?" Sally asked him, "That's just—"

"My gloves," Bushroot shouted, blaring his trumpet vociferously, forcing Sally, Amy, and Cosmo to go inside the cottage. "At once! Do you hear?"

"Goodness," Sally said to herself, as she and her sisters headed up the blue staircase. "I suppose we should be taking orders from Robespierre next."

Once they made their way up the stairs to Bushroot‘s bedroom, the three girls started her search for Bushroot's missing gloves.

"If I were a plant duck," she said, looking through a white wooden dresser, "where would I keep my gloves?"

When she opened a porcelain vase-like jar that was on the dresser, there were cookies in various shapes and colored frostings, and each of them had messages, such as "TAKE ONE" and "TRY ME". These were the same cookies she saw back when she was struggling to get the key onto the table at only ten inches tall.

"Oh, thank you." Sally said, as she picked out a pink flower-shaped cookie with the words "EAT ME" written in brown frosting and took a bite of it, "Don’t mind if I do." As she looked through a chest full of clothes while humming, however, Sally started to grow at an alarming rate, and her head hit the ceiling. The cookie had caused her to grow, much to Amy and Cosmo's shock—just like last time!

"Oh! Oh, no, no! Not again!" she exclaimed.

SpongeBob tapped his foot rapidly and looked at his watch with an impatient frown on his face. He jolted in shock and rushed back inside the house, with a fear of being very, very tardy.

"Ellie Mae!" he called out.

Amy was still growing very rapidly as her arms emerged from the windows, and her right foot was toppling over furniture in SpongeBob's room, just as SpongeBob had darted up the staircase to the door of his bedroom.

"Now, you see here, Ellie Mae!" SpongeBob started to say as he opened the door, only to see Amy's colossal right foot struggling to get through. "HEEEELLLLP!"

The sponge gasped in shock and tried to escape, but he was pushed down the stairs by her foot, which had finally found its way through the door, and blared his trumpet again. He then headed for the front door and opened it, only to be pushed through some of his broken possessions by Amy's now fully huge foot. As he got out from underneath the destruction, the frenzied sponge cried out in horror as he saw what was happening to his house. Amy's arms had sprouted out of the windows, and her feet had emerged from the doorways.

"NOOOO! HELP! MONSTER!!" SpongeBob shouted in a panic, running away from his house and blaring his trumpet again, "Help! Assistance!!"

Amy was struggling to get up, but it was no use. SpongeBob's house was too snug for her to break free, and therefore, she was completely stuck like a fly attached to flypaper.

"Oh, dear!" she complained, placing her left hand on the rooftop. Just then, she heard SpongeBob's voice, as he had come back with someone to help him.

"A monster! A monster, Ratigan! In my house, Ratigan!"

"Ratigan." Amy repeated in an unamused tone of voice, as she recalled seeing him in the ocean and him ignoring her desperate call for help while rolling her eyes.

SpongeBob was hopping around Ratigan, who was walking with him down the dirt path back to his house.

"Settle down, old chap," Ratigan calmly said to SpongeBob, as he twirled his cane with his right hand. "Can't be as bad as all that, you know."

"My poor house..." SpongeBob said to Ratigan, still worried about his precious home. "Ohhh, my beautiful roof and rafters...all my walls, and—there it is!"

Ratigan stopped in front of the house as his eyes widened in shock, and he almost dropped his cane in the process.

"By Jove!" he exclaimed, raising his eyebrows and his shocked expression changing into a smile, "Jolly well is."

Amy's giant hands opened the shutters, and she peeked through the open window to see SpongeBob and Ratigan, her eyes blinking with curiosity.

"Well, do your thing, Ratigan!" SpongeBob exclaimed, pushing Ratigan through the open gate and hiding behind it.

Ratigan approached the gigantic Amy and examined her carefully, before replying as he tapped her boot with his cane: "Yes, indeed. An extraordinary situation, but..."

"But-but-but-but what?!" SpongeBob exclaimed, finally coming out from behind the gate.

Ratigan blew his nose on his light blue handkerchief and put it away before placing a hand on Amy's foot and crossed his right leg over his left.

"But I have a very simple solution!" he said, delighting the giant Amy.

"Thank goodness!" Amy said in response to Ratigan's announcement.

"W-W-W-What is it?" stuttered SpongeBob.

"Simply pull it out the chimney."

"Yes! G-G-Go on, go on! Pull it out!" SpongeBob exclaimed, running over and trying to push Ratigan, who was simply immovable.

"Who, me?" Ratigan questioned him, "Don’t be ridiculous! What we need is a...Er...Hmmm..."

A whistling noise was heard once Ratigan started thinking, and he turned to see a an olive green snake, wearing an orange-red cape and matching hat with a feather. He was also holding a broom in one of his coils and a long ladder in his other remaining ones as he was slithering by SpongeBob's house.

"A snake with a ladder!" Ratigan exclaimed.

"Hmmm? Oh, Sir Hiss!" SpongeBob called out to the snake, grabbing his attention, "Hiss!"

Hiss lifted his cap up as a part of greeting the two, but he then felt himself being pulled through the gate by SpongeBob.

"We need a lake with a snadder...a snadder..." the sea sponge said to Hiss, "Can you help us?"

"At your service, governor!" Hiss replied kindly to the sea sponge, saluting to him. He suddenly dropped his broom when he felt Ratigan's hand around his neck.

“Hiss, my lad," Ratigan said to him. "Have you ever been down a chimney?"

"Why, governor," Hiss said. "I've been down more chimneys!"

"Excellent, excellent!" Ratigan said with a smile, "You just pop down the chimney and haul that monster out of there."

Amy was confused by Ratigan's choice to have Hiss pull her out of the chimney, for she was simply too big to fit right through it. *Why would they have a small snake pull me out of such a tiny chimney?* she wondered, *I don’t think this will help me out at all...*

"Right-o, governor!" Hiss said, climbing past by Amy. Just then, he moved back down to see Amy through the window and cried out in alarm, "Monster?!"

He let out a frightened scream and scurried down the ladder, only to be pulled on the tail by SpongeBob and Ratigan. The two were trying to calm him down and get him back up the ladder so he would do his job, but Hiss was too frightened by the horrific vision of the gigantic Amy to do so. Hiss scurried back down the ladder again, only to be carried up by Ratigan.

"Settle down now. That's better," Ratigan said to the frightened bird in an enthusiastic voice. "Hiss, lad. You're passing up a golden opportunity."

"I am?" Hiss repeated, a smile of delight lightening up on his face.

"You can be famous," Ratigan added, as he was still taking Hiss up the ladder. That added the fuel to Hiss's budding excitement.

"I can?"

"Of course!" Ratigan chirped. Once they reached to the top of the roof, Ratigan placed Hiss into the chimney.

"There's a brave lad! In you go now," he continued to say to Hiss. "Nothing to it, ol' boy. Simply tie your tail around the monster's neck and drag it out."

"Bu-But-But, governor!" Hiss started to reply, only to be shoved down the chimney by Ratigan.

"Good luck, Hiss."

Just as Hiss was completely pushed down the chimney, smoke came out from the fireplace, shrouded the room, flew up in the air, and tickled Amy's nose. She felt her head lifting itself up. The poor, giant female pink hedgehog was about to sneeze!

"Ah...ah...ah...ah...ah..."

Ratigan wobbled on the roof once he felt Amy's head bouncing him around, and he jumped onto the ladder as fast as he could.

"Ah...ah...ah...ah...ahh...ah...ah...ah...ah...ah..."

SpongeBob took refuge behind Amy's giant foot as the smoke emerged from the open window.

Suddenly, Amy sneezed loudly.

"Ah-ah-ah...AH-AH-AHH-CHOO!"

Hiss swiftly flew out of the chimney and into the sky like a rocket launching into outer space. It was quite a surprise to SpongeBob and Ratigan as they watched him flying into the clouds above them and disappearing out of the view.

“Well, there goes Sir Hiss!" said Ratigan, as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Poor Sir Hiss!" Amy said as her eyes gazed from the open window, and her hand was in front of the window.

Now that Hiss was no use for the monstrous problem, Ratigan had something else in mind. So he took out a match and used it to light up a pipe that had been in his mouth the whole time he was present. "Uhh...perhaps we should try a more energetic remedy!"

"Yes!" SpongeBob replied to Ratigan, pointing to his pocket watch, "Anything! Anything, but hurry!"

"I propose that we, uh..."

"Yes! Go on! Yes!"

"I propose that we...YOW!!!" Ratigan cried, as he had felt the flame of the lit match burn his fingers.

"By Jove, that's it!" exclaimed the rat, "We'll burn the house down!"

"Yes!" SpongeBob replied, chuckling and nodding in response to his suggestion, "Burn the house—WHAT?!" But his eyes widened in shock because he knew that would mean he would lose his house to the burning flames if they would choose to go with it.

"Oh, no!" Amy said, also alarmed by Ratigan's new plan.

Ratigan started gathering any of SpongeBob's valuables that would be used as firewood as he started to sing a joyous tune of his. The first item he picked out was a chair, much to the poor sponge's worries.

Ratigan: (spoken, laughing) Ho, ho, ho!
(singing) *Oh, we'll smoke the blighter out*
*We'll put the beast to rout*
*Some kindling, just a stick or two*
*This bit of rubbish ought to do*

Ratigan picked up a pale pink-colored grandfather clock with disinclined help from SpongeBob. The clock was tossed into the wall and smashed into thousands of pieces, shocking SpongeBob. "Oh, dear!" he said fearfully, as Ratigan gathered more items with a pink wheelbarrow that belonged to the sea sponge.

Ratigan: *We'll smoke the blighter out*
*We'll smoke the monster out*

Amy was watching the entire scene with her bright green eyes as SpongeBob scurried over toward Ratigan.

"No, no, no! Not my beautiful birdhouse!" he exclaimed, but it was already too late for the anxious sponge to stop him. Ratigan had already taken a white birdhouse and split it in half, scaring a small group of bluebirds away. He then tossed it into the pile of the destroyed furniture as SpongeBob bonked his head onto the broken gate.

Ratigan: *Oh, we'll roast the blighter's toes*
*We'll toast the bounder's nose*
*Just fetch that gate*
*We'll make it clear that monsters aren't welcome here*

"Oh, me, oh, my!" SpongeBob said with a nervous look on his face, as he carried the gate over to the pile and placed it there. Then Ratigan placed a hand out in front of him, indicating that he needed something from him.

"Match," he said to him.

"Match?" SpongeBob repeated, as he handed a matchstick to Ratigan. Then Ratigan used SpongeBob to light up the match and placed it on the stack of roof shingles and the obliterated furniture.

Ratigan: *Without a single doubt*
*We'll smoke the monster out*

Then SpongeBob sang along, as well.

SpongeBob: *We'll smoke the monster out*

"Nooo! No! My poor house and furniture!" he exclaimed, as his worries had only heightened due to Ratigan's recent action.

White smoke started to rise up from the pile of the furniture, making Amy feel sorry for the poor sea sponge.

"Oh, dear! This is serious," she said. "I simply must—"

Amy suddenly let out a short gasp of shock, and her eyes focused on a small garden of carrots located on the left side of the house.

"A garden!" she gasped, as she reached her gigantic hand for a carrot, not noticing SpongeBob running over to the carrot and grabbing hold of it.

"Perhaps if I eat something, it would make me grow small." Amy strained.

It was a brief struggle, but soon, Amy lifted the carrot and SpongeBob from the garden and up toward her face. SpongeBob was struggling to break free from her grip as he swung around in a panic.

"NO!!! Let go! HELP!!!" he cried fearfully, thinking that he would be eaten by her.

"I'm sorry, but I must eat something." Amy said to SpongeBob.

"Not me, you...you...you barbarian!" SpongeBob shouted, aiming the carrot at Amy as if it were a sword. Amy took a big bite of the carrot and the tip fell off, surprising SpongeBob. His left hand was hidden inside his white shirt sleeve as it then popped out of there, and SpongeBob fell off, free from the female's grip.

"Ahh! Monster!" SpongeBob yelled.

Amy was shrinking at a very rapid pace, thanks to the carrot she found in SpongeBob's garden. Ratigan was still blowing the smoke in an attempt to make a fire, whereas SpongeBob was scurrying away from Amy and tripped over her shrinking foot.

Amy had shrunken down to the size of a small figure again, just like when she drank the bottle of the multi-flavored liquid.

"Ahh! I’m late!" SpongeBob exclaimed, as he had taken yet another look at his pocket watch. "Oh, dear! I'm here! I should be there! I'm late! I'm late!"

"I say, do you have a match?" Ratigan asked SpongeBob. However, he was given a rapid handshake by the sponge instead.

"Must go! Goodbye! Hello! I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!" SpongeBob exclaimed, as he then hurried off on the dirt path and disappeared once again.

Amy had made her way from underneath the front door, yet she still had to go after SpongeBob.

"Wait! Please wait!" she exclaimed, running over to the front porch and jumping up and down.

"Ahh, young lady," Ratigan said to the miniature female pink hedgehog. "Do you have a match?"

"I'm sorry, but...Mr. SquarePants!" was all Amy had to say to Ratigan before hurrying off.

Ratigan shook his head and raised an eyebrow as his hands were placed on his hips. "No cooperation," he said of Amy SpongeBob. "No cooperation at all. Well, can't have monsters about. Very well have to carry on by myself."

Then Ratigan took the broken legs of SpongeBob's furniture and used them to make a fire, and he blew some smoke once a small flame formed inside the hole of the broken piece.