A Remote Chance

* Go to the **Broken Shillelagh**
* Go to the **gym**
* RC the **wrestler's car**
* Wait for **wrestler** to enter car
* Run over **pedestrians**
* Get to **gas station**
* Crash into **fuel pump**
* Go to the **harbor**
* RC a **boat**
* Crash the **beach party**
* Go to the **helicopter**
* RC the **helicopter**
* Crash into **helicopter**
* Get to the **airport**
* RC a **STAG tank**

"**A Remote Chance**" is a mission in *Saints Row: The Third*.

*The best? The best is beating Sway the Spider-God in a Tijuana Scaffold Match. The best is defending the world title 13 times in one night. The best is winning a last man standing match with two broken legs...Trust me little Icarus: you're flying too close to the sun.*
— Killbane, threatening the Stilwater Butcher during a press conference outside 3 Count Casino.

## Overview

Playa meets up with Shaundi, Pierce and Viola at the Broken Shillelagh to discuss the next step in taking down the Luchadores and Killbane. Viola soon suggests that the best move is to do to Killbane what he did to Angel: they take his mask, hurting his reputation. Knowing that Killbane would never agree to a fight against Angel, they decide to kill off the contestants of the upcoming Murderbrawl XXXI event so that Killbane is forced to fight Playa.

From an Oppressor helicopter, Angel and Playa take out the four Luchador wrestlers, using Kinzie's RC Possessor to destroy the wrestlers' reputations and make the murders look like accidents and destroy their reputation in the progress.

After killing the four wrestlers – Mad Mangler Merle Roberts, Christopher "The Clubber" Johnson, Trashcan Teddy, and El Presidente – Playa publicly meets Killbane outside 3 Count Casino and challenges him to "quit being a bitch and put [his] mask up", to which Killbane proudly obliges.

## Gameplay

Aboard an Side Shooter, Angel flies to each of the four wrestlers, as Playa sits in the back with the RC Possessor.

Go to the Broken Shillelagh
Playa calls Viola and tells her to go to the Broken Shillelagh with Shaundi and Pierce.

Go to the gym
After the cutscene, Playa is in a Side Shooter with Angel flying towards the Murderbrawl Arena in Yearwood.

If the Helicopter is destroyed at any point, the mission fails with the message "Helicopter Destroyed!".

Checkpoint
RC the wrestler's car
HUD: 45 second countdown
The first wrestler is Mad Mangler Merle Roberts, who is walking to his Bulldog.

There is a 45 second timer to complete this objective. If the vehicle is not controlled before the Luchadores drive away, the mission fails with the message "You waited too long to RC the vehicle!".

Once the Luchadores begin to enter the vehicle, it is not possible to RC it until they have finished entering.

If the Bulldog is controlled before this objective appears on-screen, it is possible to drive it, but when the objective appears, the controls are frozen, with the car continuing to drive, and it is impossible to exit RC mode.

Wait for wrestler to enter car
This objective is displayed if the Bulldog is controlled before the Luchadores enter. If they have already entered, this objective is skipped. It is not possible to move the Bulldog while this objective is active.

Run over pedestrians
HUD: PEDS X/15
After taking over his vehicle, run over fifteen pedestrians. There are many mascots nearby.

If the Bulldog is destroyed before completing this objective, the mission fails with the message "Not enough pedestrians killed!".

If the Bulldog is driven out of range, the mission fails with the message "Signal Lost!".

Get to gas station
There is a Thunder Pump Gas Station a few blocks to the east. This objective is skipped if already nearby.

The Bulldog can be destroyed at this point skip the next objective, but submerging it in water fails the mission with the message "Signal Lost!".

Crash into fuel pump
After the killing spree, drive it into the fuel pump of the nearest gas station to end Roberts with an explosion.

Go to the harbor
The second wrestler is Christopher "The Clubber" Johnson, who is having a party on the beach. Angel flies the Side Shooter to a location between Sierra Point and Magarac Island, where there are 3 Piracy variant Miamis parked.

Checkpoint
RC a boat
Take control of one of three Miamis, it does not matter which. Angel will follow the boat where-ever it goes, so it is impossible to go out of range.

If the first boat is destroyed, or grounded, the mission fails with the message "You Missed the Party".

Crash the beach party
Steer it into the beach party, whereupon it blows up. The blue target is over Christopher "The Clubber" Johnson, dressed in normal Luchador attire. Nearby there are several Status Quo

Checkpoint
Go to the helicopter
The third wrestler is Trashcan Teddy, who is on a sky-tour of the city. Angel flies the Side Shooter

RC the helicopter
Use the RC Possessor to take control of an unrelated helicopter, a Thompson.

Crash into helicopter
Crash it into the wrestler's helicopter, destroying them both.

Trashcan Teddy's helicopter follows a fixed circular path, and will fly straight into the RC helicopter if it is in the way.

If the Thompson is destroyed without crashing it into Trashcan Teddy, the mission fails with the message "Decoy Helicopter Destroyed!".

If the Thompson is flown out of range, or submerged, the mission fails with the message "Signal Lost!".

Checkpoint
Get to the airport
The last wrestler, El Presidente, is at Wesley Cutter Intl airport under protection of STAG.

RC a STAG tank
There are 7 STAG Crusaders parked at the airport. El Presidente is driving in a loop in his own STAG Crusader.

It is not possible to control El Presidente's tank.

Kill the last wrestler
If all 7 tanks are destroyed, the mission fails with the message "All STAG Tanks Destroyed!".

Once El Presidente is dead, the mission ends.

## Rewards

* Cash awarded at the end of the mission
1/1

* Cash: $16,000
* Respect: 4000
* Stronghold: 3 Count Beat Down

## Newscast

**Jane Valderamma**: "*Murderbrawl XXXI could have a disappointingly thin slate after a series of accidents claimed the lives of several top competitors. Murderbrawl opponents have already seized on these accidents to question the long-term health effects of the sport, claiming that undiagnosed brain injuries, combined with the performance-enhancing drugs, caused the competitors to fall asleep at the wheel. As is always the case with this exhibition, the additional controversy only raises the anticipation for the next event. While there may be fewer matches, Murderbrawl XXXI will still feature the highly-anticipated fight between Steelport's own Killbane and The Stilwater Butcher. This is Jane Valderamma with the Steelport Sports Entertainment News.*"

## Trivia

* Kinzie Kensington tells Playa that she got bored one night so she built the RC Possessor, although Playa has had the weapon since unlocking it after completing "The Belgian Problem", before meeting Kinzie. This, along with the tutorial-like presentation of the mission, indicates that this mission was either planned to come much earlier in the story or that the RC Possessor was planned to be unlocked much later.
* During this mission, the RC Possessor is fully upgraded to level 4.
	+ Regardless of the upgrades, mission targets cannot be detonated, although normal vehicles can be controlled and detonated as normal.
* Around the Murderbrawl stadium are many Mascots, including Genki mascots which do not spawn outside of this mission.
* After controlling one of the boats to kill Christopher "The Clubber" Johnson, Playa remarks on how dangerous boats are, referencing the ending of *Saints Row*, when the yacht Playa was aboard was blown up and Playa was put into a coma.
* A minor bug may occur when Angel's voice queue is too late, which is then overlapped by Playa's voice.
* There is 1 unit of police Notoriety after the start of the mission and 3 after flying above Sierra Point but all gang and law enforcement spawning is suppressed.
* There is an unused failure condition with the internal name "failure\_premature\_hijackulation" and the displayed text "You Bailed Too Soon!", and a second unused failure condition of "Passenger escaped", but it is not possible for Merle Roberts to exit the Bulldog.
* There is an unused objective "Get in Angel's Helicopter": the mission starts inside it.
* There are unused objectives to "Find the Wrestler's boat", "Crash the Boat", and "Hit the Ramp".
* The first newscast mention the wrestler by name, but the second one does not.
* The subtitle file refers to Jane Valderamma as "Anna".
* It is possible to jump out of the helicopter by taking control of a vehicle and repeatedly tapping the detonate/exit vehicle button. The helicopter continues flying on the scripted path.
	+ If the Bulldog is used to run over Playa, Kinzie reacts as if the signal is lost and the mission fails
	+ It is possible to RC the Side Shooter.
	+ When on the ground, it is not possible to enter any cars, and the objectives proceed as normal.
	+ When in the water, it is possible to enter boats, but not exit them. Using a Commander, it is possible to destroy the Miami's, and stalemate the "RC a Boat" objective.
* In Co-op, the host is using the RC Possessor while the guest is flying the helicopter instead of Angel.
* The RC Possessor shows the name of whichever weapon is in the Special slot prior to starting the mission.

## Transcript

### Prologue

* Male 1
* Male 2
* Male 3
* Female 1
* Female 2
* Female 3
* Zombie

**Playa - Male 1**: "*We're waiting too long to go after Killbane.*"
**Viola DeWynter**: "*I was thinking the same thing. Come to the Broken Shillelagh. We can all talk there.*"
 — Pre-mission phone call (Male 1)

**Playa - Male 2**: "*Viola, I need you to meet Pierce and Shaundi at the Broken Shillelagh.*"
**Viola DeWynter**: "*Is this some sort of team building thing?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*It's a "plot Killbane's murder" thing.*"
**Viola DeWynter**: "*I'll be right there.*"
 — Pre-mission phone call (Male 2)

**Viola DeWynter**: "*Hello?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Get the others and come to the Broken Shillelagh...*"
**Viola DeWynter**: "*I don't do pub food.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Too bad, I'm done fucking around.*"
 — Pre-mission phone call (Male 3)

**Viola DeWynter**: "*Hello?*"
**Playa - Female 1**: "*Shaundi get a hold of you?*"
**Viola DeWynter**: "*Look, don't take it the wrong way, but I don't do sports bars.*"
**Playa - Female 1**: "*We need to work out how we're gonna deal with Killbane, and I want you there.*"
**Viola DeWynter**: "*OK. I'll see you at the Broken Shillelagh*"
 — Pre-mission phone call (Female 1)

**Viola DeWynter**: "*Something you need?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*A way to stop Killbane. Come to the Broken Shillelagh. We can all talk there.*"
**Viola DeWynter**: "*All of us? Alright...*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*What, don't you like Pierce?*"
**Viola DeWynter**: "*You try being called "the new girl" all the time and see how you like it. Whatever, I'll be there soon.*"
 — Pre-mission phone call (Female 2)

**Playa - Female 3**: "*Spread the word: we're having a war meeting at the Broken Shillelagh.*"
**Viola DeWynter**: "*What's this about?*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Killbane.*"
**Viola DeWynter**: "*Be there in 5.*"
 — Pre-mission phone call (Female 3)

**Viola DeWynter**: "*Killbane's still out there.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Roars*"
**Viola DeWynter**: "*We all have to be on top of this together.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Roars*"
**Viola DeWynter**: "*Alright, I'll see you at the Broken Shillelagh*"
 — Pre-mission phone call (Zombie)
### Cutscene #1

**Playa**: "*Alright, I am done fucking around, I want Killbane.*"
**Viola**: "*You wanna hurt Killbane, you gotta hurt his reputation.*"
**Shaundi**: "*So, what, humiliate him?*"
**Playa**: "*Can't we just kill the bastard?*"
**Viola**: "*Take Killbane's mask and all that's left is Eddie Pryor. It's worse than killing him.*"
**Playa**: "*This is more Angel's thing.*"
**Viola**: "*Killbane would never agree to fight Angel.*"
**Playa**: "*He's more scared of Angel than me?*"
**Shaundi**: "*No offense, but you're kinda ridiculous.*"
**Pierce**: "*Relax--you gonna look hot in a Speedo.*"
 — Cutscene In
### Mission start

**Angel**: "*Kinzie left you that weapon.*"

+**Playa - Male 3**: "*Which?*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Wait, this?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Yes?*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Weapon? She didn't leave any weapon.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*What?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*This thing here?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Which?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Sneers*"
**Kinzie**: "*The RC gun. You'll need it to take control of the Luchadores' vehicles.*"

+**Playa - Male 3**: "*Can't we just shoot them?*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*A rocket launcher would be more practical.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*And those vehicles will cause havoc and kill their drivers.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Why can't we just kill the guys?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Why not just shoot them?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Just give me a rifle and I'll shoot the bastards...*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Can't we just shoot them?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Grumbles*"
**Kinzie**: "*These are supposed to look like accidents, remember?*"

+**Playa - Male 2**: "*Alright alright...so hows this thing work?*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Details... The range on this gonna work alright?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Then I will cause accidental havoc.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Can I use it from all the way up here?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Will I be able use it from this high?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Alright alright...so hows this thing work?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Is it gonna work from up here?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Roars*"
**Kinzie**: "*\*non commital grunt\**"

+**Playa - Female 3**: "*Whatever.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Reassuring, Kinzie...*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Trust me, Kinzie. No one will suspect a thing.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Whatever.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Right.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Makin' me feel better already...*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Wonderful.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Roars*"
 — "Mission Start"

+**Playa - Female 3**: "*Sounds like Killbane doesn't wanna mess with you.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Why wouldn't Killbane fight you?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*You are certain that Killbane won't agree to fight you?*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Sounds like Killbane doesn't wanna mess with you.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Is Killbane really that afraid of you?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*What's the story with you and Killbane?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Is Killbane really that afraid of you?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Snarls*"
**Angel**: "*He knows I'm better than him.*"

+**Playa - Female 3**: "*What about me?*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*So he'll fight me instead?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*But he will agree to fight me?*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*What about me?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*And you think he'll fight me?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*So that means I gotta fight him?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*And you think he'll fight me?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Groans*"
**Angel**: "*If there's no more contenders he'll have to.*"

+**Playa - Male 3**: "*I say we just kill him.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Or, and stay with me on this, we kill him.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Good. But I still think killing him would be much simpler.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Why don't we just kill him already?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Be easier just to kill him.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Here's an idea; let's just kill him.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*I say we just kill him.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Roars*"
**Angel**: "*Easier? Yes. But nothing worth doing is easy. When you raise Killbane's mask to the screaming crowd...you'll know you made the right choice.*"

+**Playa - Male 3**: "*If you say so.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*I'm usually ok with just death...*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*I am trusting you on this one.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*I'll never understand you two.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*I'll take your word for it.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*I dunno, death's pretty shitty too.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*If you say so.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Garbled*"
 — "Flight Conversation 1"
**Announcer**: "*Murderbrawl! Murderbrawl! Murderbrawl!*"
**Zach**: "*That's right, folks! Get those hepatitis vaccines updated because the blood will be flying soon at Murderbrawl XXXI.*"
**Bobby**: "*Right you are, Zach, and who better to announce the official line-up than the champion himself, Killbane!*"
**Zach**: "*Oh ho, you know, opponents have been arriving from all over to face their fears and meet the architect of their demise.*"
**Bobby**: "*So stay tuned as the press conference will be coming to you live from the 3 Count Casino within the hour!*"
**Zach**: "*I can't wait!*"
**Announcer**: "*Murderbrawl! Murderbrawl! Murderbrawl!*"
 — Murderbrawl commercial (audio transcript)
**Kinzie**: "*Pull the vehicle back before it's out of range of your controller.*"
**Kinzie**: "*That's getting too far to control.*"
**Kinzie**: "*The range is limited on that remote.*"
**Kinzie**: "*You'll lose control if you don't slow it down.*"
**Kinzie**: "*You're gonna lose the signal.*"
 — Any time the RC vehicle is getting too far away
**Kinzie**: "*Great, there goes the signal.*"
**Kinzie**: "*Signal dropped. What a surprise.*"
**Kinzie**: "*Told you to keep it close.*"
**Kinzie**: "*Ugh...*"
**Kinzie**: "*Um, where'd the signal go?*"
 — When the RC vehicle goes out of range or is destroyed
### First Luchador

**Angel**: "*That Luchador heading towards that car is Mad Mangler Merle Roberts.*"

+**Playa - Male 1**: "*Mad Mangler, huh? So running over a bunch of people is probably his hobby.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Mad Mangler? That must be one pissed off Luchador.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*He will amuse himself by leaving a trail of twisted corpses as he drives.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Mad Mangler? He got anger issues or something?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Mad Mangler, huh? So running over a bunch of people is probably his hobby.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Sounds like a ruthless fucker.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Mad Mangler? Do I need to be worried he'll send me back in a box?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Grumbles*"
**Angel**: "*Actually, he's pretty laid back.*"

+**Playa - Male 2**: "*Even laid back people gotta snap sometime.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Then people can blame this on Roid Rage.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Good luck convincing the press of that.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Compared to Killbane or normal people?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Fine, Roid Rage then. Work with me here, Angel...*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Even laid back people gotta snap sometime.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Throw me a bone at least...*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Grumbles*"
 — "First Luchadore"
**Merle Roberts**: "*Let's get to the press conf... hey, what's wrong with this car?*"

+**Playa - Female 2**: "*Let the carnage begin.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*I think he might hit a few people...*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Let the carnage begin.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Dance puppets! Dance!*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Time to clear the sidewalks...*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*People should start runnin'...*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Time to clear the sidewalks...*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Grunts*"
**Merle Roberts**: "*Oh God! I didn't do that!*"
**Merle Roberts**: "*This damn thing's possessed!*"
**Merle Roberts**: "*There goes my career...*"

+**Playa - Female 1**: "*Uh oh, Merle's losing control...*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Uh oh, Merle's losing control...*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*The Mad Mangler is about to retire.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Time for a big finish.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Time for an explosive finale*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Now for the big finish...*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*And now the grand finale.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Moans*"

+**Playa - Female 1**: "*Roids are bad for your health, Merle.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Roids are bad for your health, Merle.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*I could do this all day.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*See what happens when you're not careful!*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*He should've laid off the juice.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Roid Rage claims another victim.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Steroids are bad for you, kids.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Growls*"

*Breaking News. Minutes ago, Mad Mangler Merle Roberts, a Luchador slated to compete in the upcoming Murderbrawl 31, ran over several pedestrians in what witnesses say was a rage induced vehicular massacre. His body is being pulled out of the fiery wreckage as his career ended... at a dead end. This is Jane Valderamma with a breaking news report.*— Jane Valderamma, "Breaking News Car"
### Second Luchador

+**Playa - Female 2**: "*Who is the next target?*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Next on the list is?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Who is the next target?*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Who's the next to go?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Who's next?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Next on the list?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Who's next?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Mumbles*"
**Angel**: "*Christopher 'The Clubber' Johnson. He should be on his boat now.*"

+**Playa - Female 3**: "*Clubbing what? Actually, don't answer that.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*We talking dance bars or seals here?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*I think The Clubber is about to throw his last party.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Clubbing what? Actually, don't answer that.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*No wonder there's no seals around here...*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*This guy play Cricket or something?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Surrounded by baby seals?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Mumbles*"
 — "Explain Second Target"

+**Playa - Female 2**: "*Kinzie, I am really liking this device.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*You boost signals on RC guns often?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Kinzie, I am really liking this device.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*I'm kind of enjoying this RC gun...*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*This thing's pretty fun, Kinzie.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Remote control was a damn good idea, Kinzie.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*This thing's pretty fun, Kinzie.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Groans*"
**Kinzie**: "*Got bored one night and threw it together.*"

+**Playa - Male 2**: "*Get out and get laid sometime, girl.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Get a boyfriend... or a girlfriend.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*You would be bored less often if you were getting laid.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Okay, somebody needs to get laid...*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*You really need to get laid.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Get out and get laid sometime, girl.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*You need to get laid.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Mumbles*"
**Kinzie**: "*Electronics are good for that too.*"

+**Playa - Male 2**: "*I... yeah...*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Not the same, Kinzie. Not the same...*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Not good enough, I think.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Stop talking.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Wow...*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*I... yeah...*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Didn't hear that.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Groans*"
 — "Flight Conversation 2"
**Boater**: "*Great, this boat's defective! I want my money back.*"
**Boater**: "*They promised boating was safe!*"
 — "Second Boat Takeover"

+**Playa - Female 2**: "*Boats are such dangerous toys.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Dangerous to party near the water like that.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Boats are such dangerous toys.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Who knew boats were that dangerous.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Boats... dangerous things.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Who knew boats were so dangerous.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Boats... dangerous things.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Grumbles*"
**Angel**: "*Not as dangerous as helicopters. Trashcan Teddy is on a sky-tour of the city.*"

+**Playa - Female 1**: "*You're kidding, right?*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*You're kidding, right?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Good information. You are making this easy.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Sky-tour?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*How do you know all this shit?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*How'd you know that?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Sky-tour?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Gargles*"
**Angel**: "*Know your enemy...know yourself.*"
 — "Second One Dead"
*More breaking news. Blood has chummed the water of Steelport as two boats lost control within minutes of each other, resulting in the deaths of the drivers, other boaters, and party-goers on a nearby pier. Is this a boating stunt gone horribly wrong... or is Death smothing[sic]  out a wrinkle in his deisgn[sic] . This is Jane Valderamma with a breaking news report.*— Jane Valderamma, "Breaking News Boat"
#### Unused

+**Playa - Male 2**: "*There's the boat, right?*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Hello there, Clubber.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*That must be the boat.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*There.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*There.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*There's the boat, right?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*There.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Snarls*"
**Angel**: "*He looks different than I remember...*"

+**Playa - Male 3**: "*His mother won't even recognize him soon.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*One too many hits in the ring, maybe.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*No one will recognize him soon.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Well he's like... far away...*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*His mother won't even recognize him soon.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*People can change... trust me.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*His mother won't even recognize him soon.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Groans*"
 — "See Boat"
**Boater**: "*Why isn't this thing turning off?*"
**Boater**: "*Who the hell's driving the boat?*"
 — "First Boat Takeover"
**Angel**: "*That... was not his voice.*"

+**Playa - Male 3**: "*Well shit... You sure he's here then?*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*You said in a boat. Where is he then?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Ah, well. You are sure he is here, yes?*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Is he even here?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Well shit... You sure he's here then?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*I thought this was the place though?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Well shit... You sure he's here then?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Garbled*"
**Kinzie**: "*Hold on, let me check...*"
 — "Not Correct Boat"

+**Playa - Female 1**: "*This is how a torpedo does it.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*This is how a torpedo does it.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*And now for the torpedo...*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Time to drop the torpedo...*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Alright, torpedo time.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Time to get my torpedo on...*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Torpedoes away!*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Garbled*"
**Kinzie**: "*The boat has torpedoes?*"

+**Playa - Female 1**: "*Why would the boat have... wait, I'm ending this conversation here...*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Why would the boat have... wait, I'm ending this conversation here...*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Who needs torpedoes? I have a boat.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Don't take everything so literally.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*I'm using the boat as a torpedo, it doesn't... you know, nevermind...*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Not actual torpedos, I mean... Just forget I said anything.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*What? No. I meant the boat was a torpedo because we--y'know what. Forget it.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Gargles*"
 — "Crashing First Boat"
**Kinzie**: "*I've tracked The Clubber's cell phone. He isn't on the water, but near it.*"

+**Playa - Female 1**: "*There's a lot of water here, Kinzie...*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*There's a lot of water here, Kinzie...*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Where?*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Well that's like the same thing.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Any idea where?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Need more detail than that, Kinzie.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Any idea where?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Snarls*"
 — "Found Right Boat Guy"
**Angel**: "*There, down at that beach party.*"

+**Playa - Female 2**: "*It would be a shame if they got hit by a stray boat.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*A stray boat and a ramp. Perfect.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*It would be a shame if they got hit by a stray boat.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Dangerous spot. Stray boat could land on you.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Dangerous to have a party where a stray boat might land on you.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*So a stray boat wouldn't be out of the question?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Dangerous to have a party where a stray boat might land on you.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Groans*"
**Kinzie**: "*Did you say "stray boat"?*"

+**Playa - Female 3**: "*No I--shut up.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*What else would you call it?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Haven't you heard? Steelport has a stray boat epidemic.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*No I--shut up.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Stray, out of control, whatever...*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Yeah. Trust me.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*It happens more than you think.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Roars*"
 — "Second Luchadore Beach"
**Angel**: "*You'll need another boat to crash into the party.*"

+**Playa - Female 3**: "*One step ahead of you.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Kind of obvious, but thanks.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*I'm on it.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*One step ahead of you.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Way ahead of you.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*That one looks good.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Way ahead of you.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Gargles*"
 — "Grab Another Boat"
### Third Luchador

+**Playa - Male 3**: "*Did he just jump out?*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Whoa, Trashcan just jumped!*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Was that Traschan jumping out?*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Did he jump out?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Did he just jump out?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Wait, did he just bail out?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Did he just jump out?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Roars*"
**Angel**: "*No, that was the pilot. Trashcan must be flying now.*"

+**Playa - Male 3**: "*Don't lose him.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Damn... well don't get too close.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Don't lose him.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Don't lose him.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Don't lose him.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Don't let him get too far away.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Don't lose him.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Sneers*"
**Angel**: "*I won't.*"
 — "Third Luchadore"
#### Unused

**Angel**: "*Convenient. There's another helicopter you can use to crash into Trashcan's.*"

+**Playa - Male 3**: "*Someone must be looking out for me.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*It's like someone's planning this out for me...*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Very convenient.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Gotta love coincidences.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Funny how that always works out...*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Would've been surprised if there wasn't...*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Someone must be looking out for me.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Snarls*"
 — "Controlling Helicopter"
**Interrogation**: "*What do you want from me, spirit?!*"
**Interrogation**: "*Great, now my chopper is haunted, too.*"
 — "Heli Takeover"

+**Playa - Female 3**: "*I didn't know you could fly, Angel.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*They teach helicopter piloting to all Luchadores?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*You pilot well, Angel. You must fly quite often.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*I didn't know you could fly, Angel.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*So where'd you learn to fly, Angel?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Where'd you learn to handle a chopper, Angel?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*How'd you learn to fly, Angel?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Babbles*"
**Angel**: "*I needed to find new ways to challenge and train myself.*"

+**Playa - Male 2**: "*Flying a chopper helps with training?*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*And flying a chopper helps this how?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*How does flying challenge you?*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*How does flying fit into wrestling?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Don't see how flying a chopper helps with that.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Flying a chopper helps with training?*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Don't see how one helps with the other.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Growls*"
**Angel**: "*It doesn't. But I had to learn so I could practice jumping out.*"

+**Playa - Female 3**: "*How does... y'know what, forget it.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*There's the Angel I know.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*That makes sense.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*How does... y'know what, forget it.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Now that makes sense...*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Makes sense...*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*...right...*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Grunts*"
 — "Flight Conversation 3"
### Fourth Luchador

+**Playa - Male 3**: "*That's done. There any more?*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Teddy's headed for the trash now. Next?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*This has been a good day. We have more, yes?*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Anyone else still left?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*That's done. There any more?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*There goes Teddy...*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*That's done. There any more?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Sneers*"
**Angel**: "*I've saved the worst for last...El Presidente.*"

+**Playa - Male 1**: "*What's the problem?*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Why's he the worst?*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Good, good. What's the complication?*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*What's so bad about him?*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*What's the problem?*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Sounds pretty important.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Why?*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Moans*"
**Angel**: "*He's reached out to STAG for protection...He's afraid that Kilbane will try to kill him before the match.*"

+**Playa - Female 2**: "*If Kinzie's device can control a tank, STAG will commit a few more atrocities.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*He's with STAG... STAG has tanks... I don't see a problem here.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*If Kinzie's device can control a tank, STAG will commit a few more atrocities.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*STAG's protection is about to turn on him.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*He's half right...time to take over a tank: I think STAG's about to cause an accident.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Killbane won't get the chance.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*He's half right...time to take over a tank: I think STAG's about to cause an accident.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Grunts*"
 — "Third One Dead"
*This just in. It was shades of the great bootlegger recall of aught 7, as yet another mechanical failure resulted in a fatal mid-air helicopter crash. Citizens of Steelport, a word of advice: pull over now. This is Jane Valderamma with a breaking news report.*— Anna, "Breaking News Heli"
#### Unused

+**Playa - Female 2**: "*Excellent. Plenty of tanks to choose from.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*I told you STAG has tanks.*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Excellent. Plenty of tanks to choose from.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*That's... a lot of tanks.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Perfect... tanks.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Good god...*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Grunts*"
 — "Fourth Luchadore"

+**Playa - Female 1**: "*Now to piss off the big guy...*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Now to piss off the big guy...*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*It is time for Killbane and I to have a little chat.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*We're just getting started...*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Time to pick a fight...*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Time to say hi to Killbane...*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*Time to pick a fight...*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Babbles*"
 — "Fourth One Dead"
**Angel**: "*There! He's getting in a car.*"

+**Playa - Female 3**: "*Easy target. We can take care of this.*"

-**Playa - Female 1**: "*Because that'll stop a tank...*"
**Playa - Female 2**: "*Watch closely. El Presidente is about to be assassinated.*"
**Playa - Female 3**: "*Easy target. We can take care of this.*"
**Playa - Male 1**: "*Don't worry...he won't get far.*"
**Playa - Male 2**: "*Like that's gonna help his ass.*"
**Playa - Male 3**: "*He won't go far.*"
**Playa - Zombie**: "*Growls*"
 — "Last Target Entering Car"
**STAG**: "*Nobody gave the order to roll out!*"
**STAG**: "*Sir, there's nobody at the controls of that thing.*"
**STAG**: "*Then it's gone rogue...*"
**STAG**: "*Sir...?*"
**STAG**: "*All units, destroy that tank!*"
 — "STAG Tank Chatter Start"
**STAG**: "*We need more firepower on it!*"
**STAG**: "*We stop it before we lose any more men!*"
**STAG**: "*It has a mind of it's own!*"
**STAG**: "*Why is it after us?!*"
 — "STAG Tank Radio Chatter"

### Cutscene #2

**Killbane**: "*Ladies and gentlemen...the Stilwater Butcher has graced us with their presence.*"
**Playa**: "*You wanna fight the best, you fight me.*"
**Killbane**: "*The best? The best is beating Sway the Spider-God in a Tijuana Scaffold Match. The best is defending the world title 13 times in one night. The best is winning a last man standing match with two broken legs...Trust me little Icarus: you're flying too close to the sun.*"
**Playa**: "*Oh my God, quit being a bitch and put your mask up.*"
**Killbane**: "*If you wanna be broken by The Walking Apocalypse I will gladly oblige you.*"
 — "cutscene Out"

## References

1. ↑ **Image**:
2. ↑ **Image**:
3. ↑ **Image**:
4. ↑ **Image**:
5. ↑ **Note**: Requires "Face Your Fear"
6. ↑ **Mission**: Saints and Martyrs
7. ↑ **Image**:
8. ↑ **Image**:
9. ↑ **Image**:

This article contains no references. See Help:Refs.

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