Episode 94: Claudia and the First Thanksgiving

The episode for "Claudia and the First Thanksgiving" was originally released on January 8, 2018 and is BSC #91. **You can listen to it here.** This episode is 1:03:52 long.This week's ghostwriter: none.

*Previous:* Episode 93: Welcome to the BSC, Abby | *Next:* Episode 95: Mallory's Christmas Wish | *Or,* see all episodes.

## Official Episode Description

Reasons we did the podcast this week:

* To remind you that children are the future.
* To wake you the fuck up, America.
* To ask that you not narc on someone’s orgy.
* To insist that you shouldn’t club someone to death for narcing on your orgy.
* To discourage you from dedicating your orgies to the goddess Artemis.
* To plug the mid-90s rock band Green Jelly.
* To encourage you to leave a plate out for Ben Brewer next Thanksgiving.
* To guide you through the dispelling ritual to prevent Drusilla Destiny from rising up to destroy you in seven episodes.
* To tell the truth.
* And hind-most, to keep you safe. This show is about safety.

## Music Credits

* "Rocinante's Lament" by Doctor Turtle
* “Cantate Domino” by Giovanni Croces
* “Puzzle VIP” by RetroVision
* “Live Like You Were Dying” (Karaoke Version) originally performed by Tim McGraw
* Original Intro by Scott Lamb
* Superbrat Outro by Superbrat

## Segments

###  Abby's Tight 20

Tanner: "I think green jello was on the Mayflower, as glue"

###  Burn Of The Week

Jack's burn was Tanner's "Abby's Tight 20" moment.

Tanner's burn is on Ben Brewer and his attendance at Thanksgiving.

###  Jack Googles

Jack looks up the book of Timothy. Tanner Sings a very long very of the song and then asks Siri what St. Timothy was sainted for.

###  Strike Against the Patriarchy

"Abby Stevenson is going to make this a fairly regular segment."

Jack: "That's stupid!" Betsey Sobak, re: women not being able to vote.

Tanner: Claudia and Abby display posters with the word "censored", buttons, etc. "Thanksgiving then, Thanksgiving now — where are the women?"

## Jack's References

* Jack Sings The Babysitters Club TV show theme song (BSCC Special Christmas) and the Friends theme song
* Jack relates his own stories about getting in trouble as a child (swearing and not standing for the Pledge of Allegiance). Later in the episode, Tanner relates a story about a censored newspaper article about children selling pot/tea.

"I never want to talk about hermeneutics. You always ask and I never do."
* There's a lot of post-modern shit going on in this book.

* The band Green Jelly and their song Three Little Pigs.
* In the stinger, Jack is Secretly British and make Mrs. Sheppard tell Tanner a Dominican, Franciscan, and Jesuit joke. It is very good.

## Tanner's References

* OWOW
* "Can I tell a time a third grade teacher assaulted me?"

* Tanner Sings "live Like You're Dying"

## Notes

* Every time Tanner coughs, harp music plays.
* What is wrong with Stoneybrook? Past episodes (racism) and this episode, jerky parents trying to censor a play
* John Pike appearance this week
* Jack is amused by Janine this week.
* Room 226. (Previously, 216.) The boys have a discussion about the book Timothy from the Bible and orgies.
* The boys postulate that in Episode 99: Abby's Lucky Thirteen, Drusilla Destiny will come for all of us.

## References & Links

#### Literature

1. ↑ The theory and mythology of interpretation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermeneutics
#### Culture

1. ↑ Friends theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCQGnVrTsAM
#### Music

1. ↑ "Three Little Pigs" by Green Jelly: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three\_Little\_Pigs\_(song)

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