LTVS: Cheeky Nandos

*Do not read beyond **this point** if you want to avoid being **spoiled!***

***Layla the Vampire Slayer* episode**

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RandomTuesday

Bentham

**Cheeky Nandos** is the third episode of Layla the Vampire Slayer. This transcription was performed by Blacksun388.

## Synopsis

A week after the fight with Miller, Imogen works on researching her healing spell. With the aid of a study spell Imogen manages to learn the healing spell and casts it on herself. Robert manages to create a magnetic stake rifle with his engineering knowledge. Barnaby goes to check on James and comes to Imogen’s room for her help. She tries to figure out if anything magical is affecting James. Some part of his aura and personal cognisance is drained and missing. She tries to cast the healing spell on James but it doesn’t seem to affect his mental state. She wants to do more research but doesn’t want to risk further damage to James. He thanks her for trying and she’s touched Barnaby cares about James so much.

Barnaby tries to research things that would cause James’s mental retardation from a magical standpoint and doesn’t find anything. He unfortunately damages her books and she chastises him for it. Imogen also looks through her books for vampires and help for James. She finds several possible culprits but needs to narrow something down. Layla goes over the stuff taking from Miller’s home and peruses his log for clues. She also investigates if there is a way to reverse his Vampirism. Burning a bit of the herbs she found in his house Imogen quickly discovers it is Sage and the other ingredient is Wolf’s Bane. The watcher log is a basic introduction to vampires and how they operate. It also lists a lineage of Slayers and famous vampires. More recent entries talk about Layla and contains a psych report about her, her grades, her school, Miller’s own notes, and his enthusiasm for her abilities. She also takes time to look at the bones and asks Imogen about them and the runes. She determines they are divination runes and Imogen asks them if she will pass the test tomorrow. They appear to answer negatively.

After her experiment it appears to indeed be runes for divination. Layla allows Imogen to keep them and goes back to the business of examining the trinkets. A vial of mercury, a few silver charms, and other small items. She boxes them up and returns to reading the logs.

Later she runs into Robert in between classes and offers to meet him to research the Hellmouth. They meet up in the library and after a little bit of prompting from Mr. Penrose gets to work on research. They find several references to portals to another dimension and it was created to keep the dimensions separate. It’s not clear who made it or why but there are many theories. Robert has trouble rationalizing all of it. They then spend some time trying to figure out if there is a way to reverse Miller’s transformation. There is apparently no known way to reverse vampirism and Miller seems to be gone forever.

A week later Barnaby invites the group out to his Rugby match and they decide to join. Layla reveals the unfortunate news that Miller is gone for good. They also try to debate the cause of James’s lost intelligence but can’t seem to find and answer.

They go PE and have a look at the rugby game against Greater Rosewater Comprehensive. Barnaby and James stay in the locker room and gaze upon their new found team jerseys. Coach Woodbridge makes an outline of their strategy and pre-game speech. Then the team takes the field and the rest of the group looks on in varying states of amusement. Barnaby takes possession of the ball and charges forward. Three try to intercept him and fail and he scores very early into the game. They reset and run the play again. Barnaby gets intercepted by a large player and tries to struggle through. He barely manages to wriggle out and passes it to Ned. Ned manages to bat a player out of the way. The match continues seemingly unabated to half time and the team continues on to the locker room. Barnaby specifically goes to congratulate Ned on his spectacular defense and strategize.

The teams take the field once again and they ready to fight. Barnaby, Ned and Brian charge forward and blaze through the defensive line. In fact they are so effective that they break bones and teeth of several players and they make substitutions. The biggest player takes the field and Brian comes up from the flank as Barnaby runs forward to help. Together they smash the defensive line and score a try for a commanding victory for the team.

Barnaby and the team get together and when Barnaby tries to give Brian a high-five he is suddenly blown back by an unusually heavy blow from their hands connecting. Imogen realizes something is seriously off and tries to elevate her vision to see magic. Indeed the entire team seems to be glittering with magic that improves their physicality. She can’t find a caster and there seems to be no way to counteract the spell that she could figure.

Ned suggests that the rugby lads go out to Cheeky Nandos and pal around with the other schools team. They meet up later and Imogen informs Barnaby that he has magic and to let her know if they start feeling odd. Robert suggests going to the pitch to find out what happens and Barnaby tries to convince the other team to go out with them. After charming them a bit the other team easily agrees to join them.

Barnaby gets into the bus to go to Greater Rosewater and and the group investigates the pitch. Imogen looks around the pitch but finds nothing in the area she heard the thunderclap. Looking over the field she finds no trace of magic. They go into changing room and Robert and Imogen get caught by Coach Woodbridge. Imogen tries to cast an illusion spell quickly and turns herself into James and tries to fool Woodbridge. They manage to confuse him and he goes away. They look around and look at the sports drinks rack and suggest maybe something magical in the drinks. They also decide to try to find the jerseys and check the coaches office. To do that Imogen walks into Woodbridges office as James and asks for his “help” regarding Barnaby and a crush on him. While Woodbridge talks to him Layla and Robert try to get into his office and try to pick a lock. They rummage through the bags of others and Layla finds, conveniently, a lockpick in the bag of another student named Dean Mae. They search around Woodbridges office and look at files for the new sports drink company. Woodbridge seems to be drinking it as well. The parent company is Phillips Gardening Consortium and they also paid for the uniforms and the other equipment as a sponsor for the Rugby club. They get out of the office before wearing out their welcome and meet up with Imogen later….

Barnaby, Ned and Brian get a table together and bro-out over the Nandos on the bus. They get off and go over to the Nandos. They try to get the waitress to send them more than one drink but can’t seem to get anything past her. They start ordering their food and pal around. At the school Imogen meets up with Layla and Robert and talks about their findings. They start wondering why Mae has a lockpick set and then mention that the coach is also drinking the sports drink. They think the drink maybe how the team gets their immense strength and stamina and tries to determine if that is indeed what it is. They decide to pay a visit to Phillips Gardening and analyze the sports drink for any magic. Using a setup in the chemistry lab robert does a chemical analyses and determines that, among other common sports drink ingredients, there is frog components and metallic flecks in it. Imogen looks over the list and determines that it is nothing magical about it. The spell ingredients are used in a weak glamour spell and might just be a small part of the overall effect.

They also talk about other things that Imogen has seen and she notes that the glamour magic wears off after a few hours. They decide to track down two of the team, Jake Richardson and George Leslie, and ask them about if they feel strange.

At Nandos Barnaby orders an obscene amount of food and the team starts ripping into the feast. Ned downs the drink and demands another going to the counter and harassing the waitress. Barnaby goes over to Ned and calms him down. Ned returns to the table while Barnaby apologizes for Ned’s behavior. Looking around the team seems to have lost their table manners and are greedily devouring the chicken and making a mess. Seeing this Barnaby suggests they get out of here and the team agrees while also suggesting that they break the place. Barnaby directs them elsewhere and trying to get them into school again they raid the bar. Barnaby tries to get them to knock it off and attacks them but he is easily swept aside. The team’s ravenous hunger makes them make strange comments about eating flesh and babies and then start necking down the beer taps. Barnaby tries to punch Ned and Ned suggests eating him first. They decide he isn’t worth it and toss him out the window.

Robert, Imogen, and Layla go to the common room and check on the other rugby lads who are doing homework. After observing them Imogen notes the faint residue of magic. Looking at their stature Robert notes that they seem taller and more muscular than usual and they are strangely going back to their normal size. Imogen also notes that the others seems to morph into another species but Barnaby seems strangely immune to it. They note the glamour seems to have worn off and maybe the other group have calmed down as well.

Imogen goes to the prefect and tries to throw him off so that they can see the Rugby Jerseys. Seeing the jerseys with her magical sight it seems the Jerseys have magic of some type in them. They conclude that the Jerseys, also from the Gardening Center, are the second part of the magic boosting the strength of the team. That’s why the two rugby lads were coming down from their magic high, they didn’t have them on, but the ones that went with Barnaby had them on. They determine that Barnaby might be in trouble and the lads might still be getting magical boosts from their magical jerseys. Robert takes his stakethrower and the bomb they made in a duffel bag and they take the Jerseys with them for Imogen to examine. She sees that the jerseys have spell ingredients laced in the fibers that sustains the spell that makes the team members stronger and eventually can make them permanently transformed. Thinking about it they notice that Ned and Brian’s name is Phillips. An interesting coincidence.

Barnaby wakes up after being tossed through the window and sees two large bulging muscular grey skinned creatures necking a barrel of ale. He tries to find a payphone and pulls it out to call his pager thinking the others have it. Then he realises that he has it on himself. The noise calls the trolls over to him and they appear to be Ned and Brian. They offer him a headstart before they start trying to eat him. Barnaby runs away as much as he can and Ned and Brian give chase. They run into a mother and a pram and they try to fight over who gets to eat the baby. Layla, Imogen, and Robert see from the buss the scene and stop the bus to get off. Layla runs over and confronts them. Enter initiative.

Layla jumpkicks both trolls in the groin causing them to reel back in pain (Layla’s Nut-shot Counter: 9). Robert takes a knife and slashes at the jersey to try and tear it while Imogen tries to tell Barnaby to take the team jersey off. He does so reluctantly and Imogen tells him to get rid of it. She then brings out her own knife and tries to tear the jersey away. Barnaby, now shirtless, throws a punch into a troll’s jaw and dazes him. Layla tries to sweep both trolls legs and manages to knock them down. One troll tries to swipe at Layla and misses. The other swings at Barnaby and knocks him around. Robert tries to cut off more of the jersey and manages to slice the last bit of the band off. Ned quickly shrinks back to normal size and collapses in front of him. Imogen takes another swipe and manages to slice off a good chunk of it. Barnaby runs to tackle Brian and rips the Jersey off. He falls into Barnaby’s arms and they both collapse into the ground. Exit initiative.

They ask Barnaby why he wasn’t affected and he seems clueless. They all rest and try to get back to school and hear an ambulance in the distance. They decide they might pop into the Phillips Garden Center and determine who is behind all this. Going to the one outlet store in little Rosewater they see the plants and Imogen notes these are alchemy plants. Ned and Brian’s mother is closing up shop and mentions that there was a defect in the sportswear and they are offering recalls. Imogen notes that there have been alterations to the jerseys and that they shouldn’t be worn anymore. She admits to modifying the jerseys and that things went out of control before scurrying off to her car to go to the hospital. They decide to break into the shop and Imogen, the kleptomaniac she is, decides to take a five finger discount on something. They look around the shop and see a collection of books, herbs, and cash register.

Imogen looks up on the high shelf and sees a book bound in black leather with silver writing on it. They try to get it out and it is firmly held by chains. Layla tries to pick the lock and after some effort they manage to pick the lock. She reads the title in Latin and sees it is a Treatise of Dark Arts. She is intensely interested in the book and places it into her bag. They also find a prototype of the jerseys and take it. Then they lock the door and disappear into the night….

### Next time on Layla the Vampire Slayer…

*A game show setting with a podium and quiz cards are set up. Barnaby, Robert, and two girls board a bus and talk. A round man welcomes them and is oddly agitated. Beetles crawl up the wall ominously. The man falls down bleeding from the head. A swarm of beetles pours into a hallway of the hotel...*