recursal/Fanatic-Fandom huggingface dataset:
Lore

## Fen'Lei

Welcome to Fen’Lei a land of magic where you can see your status by using mental commands and you can access a magical inventory only you can use. With access to levels, stats, and skills beings are able to grow stronger and more powerful.

For reference the current Year at the starting of Fen'Lei RP is 446.

## The Dark Age

During ancient times there was a massive war between the Devils and the Gods, while for centuries the war went on without affecting the material realm, that changed when the Devils sought to slaughter the source of the Gods powers. The living beings the worshiped them. Devils began to invade Fen’Lei and used demons to rampage through the lands, going wherever they please raping, killing and burning everything in their path. The Gods then followed sending their angels to fight the demons after a long battle, both the Gods and Devils began to weaken, in one finally act the gods set down a seal, prevent the Devils from coming past the lands of “Fenen”. Enraged at their entrapment, the Devils performed a ritual sacrificing 100 angels and 500 Demons to prevent the gods from stepping foot outside of “The Continent”. Thus came an end to The Dark Age.

## The First Age

1000 Years have passed and the Continent has finally began to move on. The people still weak, but it is a new age. An age for exploring. An age for Growing. An age for Adventure.
Stat Regeneration

## Health

Health regeneration: 1 Health every 10 seconds.
Health regeneration is increased by 0.05 for every stat point in Vitality

## Mana

Mana regeneration: 1 Mana point every 10 seconds

Mana regeneration is increased by 0.05 for ever stat point in Wisdom

## Stamina

Stamina regeneration: 2 points of stamina every 5 seconds while resting. 1 point every 20 seconds while walking.

Stamina regeneration is increased by 0.05 by every point in Vitality.
Rules

## Be Respectful

*The 'Be Respectful' rule means that, even if someone doesn't like the same things you do or they like something you dread, just keep it- being any drama or distaste in the person, to yourself and maybe even block them if it's that bad.*

## No 'God-Mode' or being 'Mary Sue'

*If most of you don't already know about this from other groups, but our group does not allow 'Mary Sue' characters! This means a character that is OP (Over-powered), meaning that if your character has some absurd strength or try to make them some sort of time traveler. It wont pass, nor will it be approved. Lets keep if fun here. For more examples please visit our Restrictions page.*

## Take any Drama from chat into PM's

We here at Fen'Lei are looking for a fun and inviting atmosphere where people can RP and relax. We don;t want to see you fighting with anyone in chat. Discord has a handy private/direct message function where you can fight and flame as much as you want to.

## Keep it appropriate

This means try to keep it PG-13. Fighting monsters can get bloody which is okay, but try to keep this classy. We don't want to have to add a NSFW warning. If you would like to do something that would be considered to fall into that category. Keep the details to private messages.

## Use common sense

I can not stress this enough. Yes this is a fantasy world, and yes this is a MMO style RP. But try to adhere to the realm of the real and fun. Don't go around being a buzzkill, or say "It doesn't break any rules." if you have to justify your actions are they really the best actions? Moderators and Admins, are also involved in RP and will monitor things and you will be caught if your trying to pull something.

## Consent

Consent...... This is a topic that should not be too hard. This is mainly for PvP consent. When two players come into a conflict that results in battle, it is required that any major injuries or deaths be either agreed apon (Yes I use middle English) before beginning any role-play. This rule is in place to stop and would be serial killer role players or people getting killed for no reason. With that said if you do agree to it, do not go trying to avoid any results of the battle, after the battle is over you will have to deal with the consequences. While usually death will be denied, that does not take away the ability for you to die. If you are doing something stupid and your character dies as a result you cannot say "that you did not consent to death."

## Fun

Simple. Try to have fun, a text RP is meant to be a fun thing, So let's keep it fun for you and everyone else. :)
Restrictions

**Restrictions:**

* No Summoning
* No Space/Time abilities
* No special movements
* No Divine Powers
* No Demonic Powers
* No bloodline powers
* No draconic Powers
* No mind control/possession/Reading
* No Beast tamers
* No raising pets from babies
* No voodoo ass shit
* No OP races
* No op heritage or hand me downs
* No cross dimensional travel
* You get the point.
Boar

Boars are an average creature, seen everywhere in the plains. Menacing to look at, but easy to combat. They are able to charge at high speeds, which can cause massive damage if hit.

~

Boar Pelt: A boar pelt sells for between 3-5 crystals.

~

Boar teeth/claws: Boar teeth/claws sell for 2- crystals each and each boar can be looted for 2 sets.

## Variants

Boar Level 4 - 40 HP - DMG: 20 - Charge DMG: 80 - XP: 15

Loot: Pelt, Claws, Teeth

Boar Level 5 - 50 HP - DMG: 25 - Charge - DMG: 95 - XP: 20

Loot: Pelt, Claws, Teeth
Footland Goblins

Footland Goblins are short, green, humanoid creatures that roam the hills of Fen'Lei. Goblins live in tribal societies that including workers, warriors, warlocks, shamans. Workers are the basic caste of goblin society, gathering resources and food to support their tribe. Warriors actively defend the tribe and attack things deemed to be threats, including other tribes. Warriors are more apt at fighting, and are usually equipped with pelt armor salvaged from dead animals, and rusty swords looted from the unfortunate dead. Warlocks are warriors with a natural affinity for magic, and actively use fire magic in combat. They are taller than most goblins, averaging the size of half a human adult and their enhanced combat abilities make them appropriate leaders for the warrior caste. Shaman are the leaders of their tribe, with similar magical affiinty to the warlocks. Shaman control all the caste below them, and goblin society depends on their leadership.

## Variants

Workers - Level 2 - 10 HP - DMG: 1 - 3 XP

Loot: Small tools, varying from hammers, picks, and hatchets.

Warriors - Level 5 - 50 HP - DMG: 5 - XP 15

Loot: Daggers, and rusty swords.

Warlocks - Level 5 - HP 15 - DMG: 20 - XP 20

Loot: Small Staffs

Shaman - Level 10 - HP 10 - DMG 10 - XP 35

Loot:
War of Lurmsakûn

**End**:
 **Location**:
	+ Middle-Earth
		- Harad
		- Khand
 **Outcome**:
 **Battles**:
* Battle of Orde Valkön

* Chieftain Hashîn
* Stadtholder Tírvan †
* King Eladim

The **War of Lurmsakûn** was a conflict between the kingdoms of Anímenúr and Harad. Nearing the end of the conflict, Khand joined Anímenúr. A victory could however not be acquired, and Haradrims occupied tons of land owned by Anímenúr and Khand.
Stats

You will also gain 3 points per level

**Strength**:  - *The stat that represents a person's physical power. Used to determine how strong they are and how hard they hit. Used by mostly martial classes.* -

For every point of strength you can lift 4 Kg.

+0.025% Physical Damage

**Intelligence**: *Increase MPI  - The stat representing how smart a character is. Used to show how skilled a person is, how quickly they learn, how many languages they can speak, etc. Used by mostly arcane magic classes*. -

+5% max MP

**Wisdom**: *Increase magic attack -  The stat representing a person's intuition and street-smarts. Used to determine a character's perception, willpower, and decision-making skills. Used by mostly divine classes.* -

+0.025% Magic attack

**Vitality:** *increase stamina/HP - The stat representing a character's physical toughness. Used to determine how much damage someone can take and how well they resist poisons, illnesses, etc. Used universal by many classes, but mostly those that use endurance.*

+5% max health and stamina

**Dexterity** - *Increase speed - Represents a person's physical nimbleness. Used to determine fine motor skills, reaction time, and aiming, particularly for combat purposes. Used by mostly stealth classes.*

+2.5% speed

**Charisma**: *The stat representing a person's force of personality. Used to determine how well someone can influence others by speeches, diplomacy, fear, lying, etc. To a player whose preferred solution is Hack and Slash, this is a Dump Stat; to a player who likes to roleplay, or wants to run a Manipulative / Magnificent Bastard, it's the stat of choice.*

-2% cost when buying - +2% crystals when selling - +2% crystals on quest completion
Baz Aesirlov

"The hell do you mean 'What if you run out of ammunition?' It's heavy enough to use as a club, is it not?"

A former soldier from a distant continent to the west, Baz's yearning to explore the world brought him to Fen'Lei, as did the desire to escape the political turmoil of his homeland. Such is a topic he'll never bring up. Trained from a young age to posess a proficiency with ranged firearms, he has become a reasonable marksman with a breech-loading black powder longrifle, which he carries on his travels to this day.
Fen'Lei Wikia

## Welcome to the Fen'Lei Wikia

Fen'Lei is a chat RP based of the ideals of an MMO fantasy world. While done in discord this wikia allows users a easy to use information guide and help section when having issues in RP.

## A little about Fen'Lei

Fen'Lei is a text RP created by Neomi and TaiXai.

It is based in a fantasy world where inhabitants have access to status screens, stats, skills, and inventory commands.
Inventory

The inventory skill is a very useful thing to have. This page will give a little information about the usage of the Inventory Skill.

The inventory skill is an ability all creature of Fen'Lei are born with and is automatically maxed out at Level: 1/1

When using your inventory you would give a mental command. For example, "Bob would call up his inventory in his mind." doing so will cause a status window to pop up showing your inventory. Please note any items placed in your inventory will still carry the weight of the items stored. Although the weight of the items you store will be halved.

Please note this is an RP so you will have to remember what is in your inventory, it is recommended that you keep a list written down of accumulated items. Also do not try to give yourself items you do not have, Staff will notice irregularities and check where you got your items from.

While the inventory skill gives a room to a large amount of possibilities, there is a limitation. The inventory skill automatically halves the weight of anything put into it. Thus while you can carry more than normal you would still feel the weight of the items. Please do note that ignoring this will be caught by Administrators and Moderators.
Slimes

Semi-Liquid monsters that mostly live in plains, grasslands etc. near towns. Their half-transparent bodies are flexible, and can change into various forms. They aren't intelligent enough to speak, but their thoughts are simple, and they instinctively wander around in search of humans who will end up as their prey.

Spit Attack: The Slime will spit a part of it's body at you, causing you minor discomfort and slight damage.

Corrosive Effect: Slime Queen spit Contains an acidic like substance that deals 1 damage every 5 seconds for 100 seconds.

Summon Slime: Ability of a Queen Slime, Splitting a portion of her body she creates minions to attack for her. Summoning Slimes cause the Queen to lose 15 health. The summoning has a cooldown of 15 seconds and cannot be used if the Queen's health falls below 15.

## Variants

Slime(Blue-Green): - Level: 1 - HP: 5 - DMG: 1 - XP: 1

Slime(Blue-Green): - Level: 2 - HP: 7 - DMG: 2 - XP: 2

Loot: none

Slime(Yellow): - Level: 2 - HP: 10 - DMG: 4 - XP: 2

Slime(Yellow): - Level: 3 - HP: 12 - DMG: 5 - XP: 3

Loot: none

Slime(Red): - Level: 3 - HP: 12 - DMG: 7 - Spit DMG: 12 - XP: 3

Slime(Red): - Level: 4 - HP: 14 - DMG: 9 - Spit DMG: 14 - XP: 4

Loot: None

Slime(Black): - Level: 4 - HP: 16 - DMG: 12 - Spit DMG: 17 - XP: 4

Slime(Black): - Level: 5 - HP: 17 - DMG: 14 - Spit DMG: 19 - XP: 5

Loot: None

Slime Queen(Red): - Level: 10 - HP 1000 DMG: 1 Spit DMG: 2(Corrosive Effect) Summon 5 Slime(Red) XP: 50

Slime Queen(Black): - Level: 10 HP 1000 DMG: 1 Spit DMG: 2(corrosive Effect) Summon 5 Slime(Black) XP: 50

Loot: Unknown
Starter Guide

This is a small guide that will allow you to get the general basis of how to start off in the roleplay

## Location

So, by default everyone starts off in the town of Sinthorpe, a simple fishing village with a popular market. This is considered the "hub" and is where most passive roleplay will be focused on. It will be used to collect quests, join guilds, get jobs, and even interact with others in a simple way without the threat of danger. You can find food,weapons,clothing,etc. on the market for godo prices; of all quality as well.

## Starting Gear and money

Your starting weapon will do a base of five damage and your clothing will offer no armor to it. You will begin with 300 crystals ( currency ) and will be allowed to go from there. There isn't much more from that. You can make way to the tavern for various jobs or speak to a Guild leader in order to aquire more reqarding deals

## Heading to the Outlands

The outlands is known as any location that isn't important. This can be towns and the space between them that have no important impact here. These locations are subject to attack at any moment and so you must always be prepared, there is plenty of danger out there. Good luck, it's risky, don't travel alone.
Jupiter Jones: Space Hooker (1971)

### Summary

Set in the Distant 1980s, vice detective / nearly naked nymph Jupiter Jones uses her charms and breasts to solve the mystery of the sniffing crotch bandit who kills.

### Cast

* Talulla Foster (Jupiter Jones)
* Vince Nobert (Benjamin Franklin)
* 'Cat Dog' McMahon (Himself)

### Top Trivia

* Producer Piccolo Paruzzio insisted on being on set 130% of the time- a mathematical impossibility most were too frightened to point out.
* Talulla Foster lost a record 110lbs of ankle fat to play Jupiter - a move which still didnt earn her a prestigious Golden Howard because her breasts obscured any view of her face.

### Notable Quotes

**Cat Dog:** Dayam Bitch! I never catdogged no runaway nurse!

**Jupiter:** Holy crap!

**Sniffing Crotch Bandit:** Yeah, you caught me Jupiter Jones. Now what'll you do with me?

**Jupiter:** Holy crap!

### Critical Reception

"Lights up your underwear like the 4th of July!" - George Walling, *Unlikely Similes Monthly*
Damn That Jive's Busted (1966)

### Summary

Boa Taylor is a Harlem cop on the edge - and The Man is hunting him down! He's got three days to save Baby Sugerlips from a corrupt senator, and the only way they'll listen is with Maximum Jive.

### Cast

* Jackie Downtown Smith (Boa Taylor)
* Cindy Chequers (Baby Sugerlips)
* Howard Carshell (Whitey Bringdown)

### Top Trivia

No script was written for this film, director Schmageggie filmed it all on a whim in two weeks.

### Notable Quotes

**Boa:** Ain't nuthin' gunna hijack my style woman!

**Baby:** But the comancheros - they wear chaps, Boa! Chaps!

**Boa:** Hot damn!

### Critical Reception

The film bombed in Republican stronghold states, where people barely understood the heavy lingo. But Boa Taylor was so popular in Louisiana, they feature him on the state flag.
Guitars That Don't Make You Happy (1979)

### Summary

Impoverished whelp Tito Fettucine is given an unbelivable opportunity - to apprentice for an instrument-maker in Sicily. But when a shadowy figure tells him that he is the last remaining descendant to King Zoltan, crowned ruler of Bobbophlux IV, Tito has to decide wether to follow his dream of instrument-making, or the delusions of his own mind.

### Cast

* Rico Schmageggie (Alola The Hooded One)
* Bobby Huntsacker (Tito Fettuccine)
* Margot Childs (Chimerical Jill) [uncredited]

### Top Trivia

Special effects whiz Ron Rancini created an elaborate street scene to portray the capital of Bobbophlux IV, only to have it discarded by director Paruzzio. Infamous director Schmageggie appeared in the film, and all his lines were improvised.

### Notable Quotes

**Alola:** Folo! Bolillae cunty slalom pushmooo-

**Tito:** Did you say-

**Alola:** I wasn't finished. Pushmooobuggerbudgie. I greet you from your homeworld gentle king with a swinger wanger!

**Tito:** Huh?

### Critical Reception

"This film is nothing but hack director Schmageggie making up words in an abandoned warehouse, to which Bobby Huntsacker replies "what?" or "huh?" . Why does Paruzzio keep assaulting us with these films?" - Roberta Storn, Filmgiggle Monthly.
Middle Earth Fanon Wikia

Welcome to **Middle Earth Fanon Wikia**!Currently editing over 30 articles, and Ruling the One Ring.
Forum • Broad Guidelines • Recent ChangesNew Pages • New Images • Administrators

Main Page
     Welcome to the *Middle-Earth* wiki! The one wiki dedicated to allowing others to write fan fiction about the *Lord of the Rings*, *The Hobbit*, or the *Silmarillion*, or any other of the works within the *Middle-Earth* universe, the possibilities are endless!

There are a number of guidelines written up by the administrators to help you write the ultimate fan fiction story under the Help section in the Dashboard. This will give you a list of links to all pages which have a form of guidelines and rules.

The wiki is currently administrated by Nicktc and Arkius Doomer

Welcome to the *Middle-Earth* Fanon Wikia
Welcome to the Middle-Earth Fanon wikia! This wikia is dedicated to Fan fiction stories set in the Middle-Earth universe!

Did you know..
* ... That Cin Terath was the capital city of Anímenúr?
* ... That Anímenúr was at war with Harad for a short period of time?
* ... That Khand later joined Anímenúr against Harad during the War of Lurmsakûn?
* ... That Náeárinor is a High Kingdom?
* ... That Náeárinor was composed of several races?

What is *Middle-Earth* Fanon?
*Middle-Earth* fanon is a wiki dedicated to fanon stories about *Middle-Earth*. We allow you to write many things, as long as it is related to the *Lord of the Rings* or *the Hobbit*, or any other works related to *Tolkien*. Check out the Guidelines and the Writing Policy before you do so!

**Anímenúr**, also the **Kingdom of Anímenúr**, was a kingdom founded during the Second Age by Númenorean settlers. It was founded as a city-state when Cin Terath was founded by king Arond and stadtholder Tírvan. The kingdom went to war in about three years of its existance with Harad, citing their corruption. The Khandish later started to aid Anímenúr, prolonging the conflict even more. Eventually, Harad was victorious, being way to large for the other two, territory of both, Khand and Anímenúr was occupied.
 Read more»

 Previous featured articles: [[|]] • [[|]] • [[|]]

Latest News
* ***Fanon of the Month*** — Fanon of the Month is finally here! Check out the articles written by others or wait for your article to enter the spotlights!
* ***Faction Templates*** — Faction Templates have been created, so that if you enter {{Rivendell}}, the banner and name of the faction will show up. For a more extensive explanation, check out War of the Ring.
My Learned Freaks (1997)

### Summary

A group of seventy genetic mutants are accidentally released from a government laboratory and descend upon the National Convention of Philosophy Professors. Now Jimmy the laboratory assistant has to try and round up the mutants, but how will he separate freak from académique?

### Cast

* Albert Westerberg (Lumpy)
* Helmut Karff (Burpin' Bannock)
* Mikey Cowde (Jimmy)
* Roger Battersea (Doctor Goomer)

### Top Trivia

Rob Gilger only got a fraction of the budget he requested from the studio for the film, which meant that Burpin' Bannock's pustules had to be constructed out of half-chewed wine gums.

### Notable Scenes

**Jimmy:** Alright, all I have to do is get the mutants in the van before Doctor Goomer gets back to the lab. I can do this. No one will ever know they were here.

*He enters a lecture auditorium in which all seventy freaks are engaged in a bizarre musical ritual. Lumpy is beating out a rhythm on the podium using two mangled arm bones as drumsticks while Burpin' Bannock makes "Og og og" noises to a tune similar to the song "Bare Necessities". The remaining mutants are dancing and feasting on any of the professors within reach.*

**Jimmy:** Oh boy.

### Critical Reception

"I tried to enjoy this movie in a postmodern way. I tried to enjoy it ironically, dialectically, reflectively, speculatively and sublatively. Finally I was able to have a pretty good time watching it appositionally, but it was still a bit of a struggle." - Tom Jacobs, Weekend In Color
Plutonium Powered Mom Vs. The Angsty Adolescent (2006)

### **Summary**

What happens when a super-powered housewife has to fight her worst enemy: the cosmic ray enhanced emotions of her whiny, emo son? One of the most horrifying and erotic films of the modern age!

### **Cast**

* Halle Schecks (Plutonium Powered Mom )

* Bobby Linsacker (Matt a.k.a Nightmood the Emotional)

* Albert Westerberg (Sheriff Dodds )

### **Didja Know?**

In the climactic sewer fight between Plutonium Powered Mom and Nightmood, FX artists used 35,000 gallons of pig's blood to simulate the traumatic rejection of Mom's supercharged uterus. Film veteran Jack Mckay, cameoing as a private eye, said it was the most horrific thing he'd been forced to drink based on a dare.

### **Famous Quotes**

**Sheriff Dodds:** Plutonium Mom, are you okay?

**Plutonium Mom:** Yes Dodds, although not emotionally.

**Nightmood:** You don't know real pain. A river of pain flows through me. Through my heart. On a river of blood.

**Sherrif Dodds:** Christ, boy! Wash that make-up off your face and go and get a woman!

### **Critical Views**

Andy Johanjohanson of the Village Victory Vocal called this film 'Utter shit' while Sandra Jones-Jennyson's review was just a photo of her own ass.
Incredible Face, A Face That's Improbable (2004)

### Summary

Harry Howardson, victim of a chemical peel malfunction, becomes a city's unwitting star as two television stations battle for informercial supremacy. But will the power to make anyone do a double-take secure victory for Harry when pitted against Olaf Gestapo and his Fascist network?

### Cast

* James Swish (Harry Howardson)
* Dieter Gruessman (Olaf Gestapo)
* Googoo the Orangutan (Chafey)
* Walt Rabbs (Harv Green)
* Drederick Roderick (Dadford Bruke)

### Top Trivia

Acclaimed animal trainer Dusty Marlboro brought in Googoo the Orangutan to reprise his role as Chafey from Punch! The Mike Tyson Musical (2000), in this film the pet of Olaf Gestapo. Unbeknownst to the crew however, Googoo had contracted hepatitis and infected two of the cast members with the disease.

### Notable Quotes

**Harry:** You can't resist it, Olaf, you can't resist having another look at my face. And when you do, I shall flip the self-destruct button.

**Olaf:** How will you be able to flip the switch dear Harry, when I have had my eyes removed.... removed by Chafey?

**Harry:** Oh shit........!

### Critical Reception

"A film that cost $100 million should at least have either a solid story, bankable stars, or amazing effects. Watching "Incredible Face" truly is like two hours of wading through pure sewerage. The gross kind." - Ralph McQuigan, Total Blockbuster magazine.
Rico Schmageggie

### Top Trivia

* Despite finding some early acclaim with his student films Wait! There's More! (1941) and Wait! There's More 2: Even More To Wait For! (1942), Rico Schmageggie has never managed to turn that initial promise into the record-breaking commercial success he believes he deserves.
* Schmageggie is a committed naturist and pansexual, something that has often made him quite difficult to work with, particularly if he's naked and attempting to squeeze a model bus into your trousers.

### Notable Quotes

* "I think everyone can find something to enjoy in one of my films, even if it's just the running time."
* "My pants! Where are my pants? Did that hack Hitchcock eat them again?!?"
Why Is Everybody Whispering?? (1953)

**Summary**

Based on Alan Peckeringpath's masterful play, we follow Todd, a lonely video salesman on a long trip through the Midwest selling BETAMAX players. However, no one has told him that VHS now dominates the market and his wife is a slut.

**Director**

Rico Schmageggie

**Cast**

\* Jasper Donovan (Todd)

\* Rebecca Rhys-Towels (Todd's slut wife)

\* Albert Westerberg (Sheriff Dodds)

**Didja Know?**

\* Director Schmageggie changed large portions of the storyline halfway through after finding out about his own wife's infidelity - thus the surprise storyline of Todd's unfaithful spouse was added.

\* Schmageggie often displayed talents of foresight and precognition, displayed by effectively seeing the advent of BETAMAX and VHS. However, no one understood this in the fifties as they were too busy looking for Reds under furniture.

**Famous Quotes**

Sheriff Dodds: Well son, this is a slow-paced town. We don't care for none of your BETAMAX doohickey players here. Shucks, we still leave our doors open on warm summer nights!

Todd: I see. Did I mention my wife is a loose-legged whore who'd bed a hippopotamus with diarrohea?

Sheriff Dodds: Several times son, several times.

**Critical Views**

Was rumoured to be in the
running for a Golden Howard, but this turned out to be a cruel and preposterous lie perpetrated by Schmageggie's wife.
Brian Peabody

### Top Trivia

After some early success, Brian Peabody was forced to flee the United States after making the infamous The Sex Ghost (1968). He settled in the Soviet Union, where he made a number of propaganda films under Brezhnev's regime. Peabody was allowed back into the USA in 1975, on the proviso that he not make any more offensive films - a rule he broke with Once Upon A Rape (1978). This time even the USSR wouldn't have Peabody, and he was forced to take up residence in North Korea, where he may or may not be to this day.

### Notable Quotes

* "I don't even like those communists, honest."
* "You communists are the bee's knees!"
* "See the Venus de Milo over there? Never mind her, she's armless."
Six Star South

Six Star South is a Southwestern town that clashes Old Western and Southern lifestyles together. It is home of the Note family and the James family, two major families in the storylines of Ponylands. The area is also famous for it's outlaws. It is ran by Sheriff Pakins (Ponylands 1, Ponylands 4), Sheriff AJ (Ponylands 2, Ponylands 3), and Sheriff Kicker (Ponylands 5).

## NPC's

Kicker

Hearted Note

Whole Note

Sheriff Pakins

Ruined Kicker/Sheriff Kicker

Lil Macintosh

## Enemies

Feral

Criminals

Sheriff's Posse

James Outlaws
Don't Open The Medicine Cabinet (2009)

### Summary

22 year-old Buck Whitmore's life is great. He's just been promoted to Chief Fertilizer Spokesman at work, he has a dog with a bark that sometimes sounds like people, and his girlfriend is forty years older than him! But something dark is happening in Buck's bathroom. Something rotten is festering in his medicine cabinet. (Behind the vitamins he never remembers to take even though he sometimes feels rundown which it's therefore hard to have much sympathy for.)

### Cast

* Graham Wayans (Buck Whitmore)
* Francois Burgerschwarz (Dr Peanuckle)
* Cindy Chequers (Rita Hand)
* Rebecca Tomlinson (Barbara Linty)

### Top Trivia

* Don't Open The Medicine Cabinet is a remake of the film of the same name from 1980. Nothing of the plot of the original film remains, except the main character having a girlfriend who is forty years older than him. The original film didn't even have a medicine cabinet in it, an oversight its producers freely admitted.
* At 55, Graham Wayans was well over the age of 22 when he played the role of Buck Whitmore. In fact, he was the same age as Cindy Chequers, who played his 62 year-old girlfriend. Audiences didn't seem to notice or care.

### Notable Quotes

**Rita:** Buck! Did you see that? The door of the medicine cabinet just rattled a little!

**Buck:** No, Rita, I didn't see that. Just like I didn't see The Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show. I wasn't alive yet!

**Rita:** No, Buck, this isn't something that happened in the 1960s, it's happening right now!

**Buck:** Oh my God!!!

**Dr Peanuckle:** Keep your mouth fresh with Peanuckle's Chewing Gum. It's like a medicine cabinet in your pocket!

### Critical Reception

"An absolute waste of time, except for the product placement from Peanuckle's Chewing Gum, which was innovative and informative. Peanuckle's Chewing Gum: like a medicine cabinet in your pocket!" - Sandy Rertenberger, *Philadelphia Palaver*
Land Of Compromise (1980)

### Summary

A poor Moldovan peasant, Madavlan Kopi, embarks upon his dream of migrating to America to start a chain of Moldovan fried blackworm outlets. Unfortunately, Madavlan finds that blackworms aren't quite as easy to come by in his new country, forcing him to compromise both the traditions of his homeland's cuisine and the health of his patrons by pilfering parasitic nematodes from the local hospital. Hilarity ensues.

### Cast

* Arthur Jones (Madavlan Kopi)
* Billy Chang (Lee the kitchenhand)
* Kate Schegg (Dr Mildred Friels)
* Grant Cocher (Patient zero)

### Top Trivia

Pauley Garbanzo attempted to use this film to convince the film world to take him seriously and finally start calling him "Paul". Despite his use of enormous and colourful font highlighting the name "Paul" on all credits used in the film, Pauley's attempts were in vain as the name "Pauley" was displayed in gigantic neon text outside the film's premiere at Marco's Italian Theatre and Pizza Restaurant. Pauley was ultimately acquitted of all charges relating to the violence that ensued.

### Notable Quotes

**Lee:** (in wheelchair being pushed by Madavlan) Ooh oow, my lower gall bladder!

**Dr Friels:** This is the fourth time this week you've been in here with an internal organ complaint. If we keep cutting you open you'll be more stitches than man.

**Madavlan:** Can he have his usual bed by the parasitology ward please?

**Dr Friels:** Why, if I didn't like your blackworm nuggets so much I'd report you Madavlan Kopi!

### Critical Reception

"The only positive thing I can say about this film is that it may have helped solved America's obesity problem through the ubiquitous nausea and loss of appetite that accompanies it in cinemas across the country" - Jane Margout, *Cookery Monthly*
Lawrence Leadbaum

### Top Trivia

Lawrence Leadbaum has been the victim of 1,611 independently perpetrated scams. The most recent involved a green-uniformed policeman telling him he needed to pay $US300,000 to get his television out of jail.

### Notable Quotes

"I make the movies because the movies want to make me. Doesn't mean anything, but put it on my gravestone."
Bedpans Don't Lie In Wait, They Lie In Knowledge (1981)

### Summary

Teenager Jeanie is left with the responsibility of looking after her bedridden and difficult grandmother who lives in the attic, while her parents travel the country going to open marriage parties. When a neighbourhood boy asks Jeanie to the Springtime Fiesta, she frets over not having a dress to wear, unaware that the boy is colourblind and therefore won't be able to see her dress at all.

### Cast

* Gelda Michaels (Jeanie)
* Yvonne Samms (Grandma Gert)
* Alastair Fitgerald (Neville)

### Top Trivia

* While this wasn't Musselaf's first film, it was the first of his to feature the technique which came to be known as 'the floating lollypop'.
* Watch out for the infamous scene in which actress Gelda Michaels cries about a lost dog. Those are real tears!

### Notable Quotes

**Jeanie:** I don't know, Grandma Gert. What if Neville doesn't like my conversational skills?

**Grandma Gert:** Give me berrrrries!!

**Jeanie:** I can't give you berries, they're bad for your digestion. Besides, you never tell me what kind of berries you'd like.

**Grandma Gert:** Berrrrrrrrrr-ies!

**Jeanie:** Perhaps I should just play it quiet and let him do the talking. But then he might think I'm a pill.

### Critical Reception

"A harrowing tale of a good girl left to do the work of a bad girl. Well, actually, she's left to do the work that a good girl would do, so I should say it's the tale of a good girl left to do the work of a good girl, although that doesn't have the impact I was going for. Still, accuracy first!" - Bridget Laws, New Podiatrist
Bacon Tastes Like Chicken Too (1967)

**Summary**
Newly installed Sheriff Chaps Crustlip tries to bring law to Illegal, Nevada; a town known for loose morals and enthusiastic murder. But when Chaps is killed in the opening act, how will the film finish?

**Director**

Rico Schmageggie

**Cast**

Bobby Linsacker (Chaps Crustlip)
Albert Westerberg (Sheriff Dodds )

**Didja Know?**

After a riverboat gambling cruise turned sour, Piccolo Paruzzio withdrew the funding of Rico's film, forcing him to cut the film to a record breaking eleven minute duration.
Schmageggie and Piccolo would not speak for another four years, yet they still managed to make and release another seven films, several of which ended up in FBI dossiers about Schmageggie.
There was never an explanation given for the title.

**Famous Quotes**

Chaps Crustlip: This here's a rough town. But I hear it cry out for law. Law and order.

Dodds: This here's Illegal, Nevada! Bullet shot!

Chaps Crustlip: Shot! By a gun!

**Critical reception:**
'I never saw a film so brief yet with so many factual inaccuracies.' Helen Trudd, Bay Gazette.
Expect Bloodshed (2001)

### Summary

Cracks Spikowski hunts missing persons - with maximum bloodshed. He doesn't just find his quarry, he obliterates the county his quarry is in. But when his quarry is the long dead Thomas Edison can he match wits with the laws of Improbability?

### Cast

* Francois Burgerschwarz (Cracks Spikowski)
* Alphonse Ducreux (Thomas Edison)

### Top Trivia

* Piccolo Paruzzio returned to collaborate on this film again with Schmageggie, causing many in the film industry to ask... why?
* Francois Burgerschwarz had to have his big toes grafted to his hands after losing both his thumbs in a helicopter machine gun mishap. He famously quipped as he watched two fountains of blood cascading from his bloody stumps, 'Keep filming, this'll look great on the trailers!'

### Notable Quotes

**Cracks:** My long search is over. I've found you Thomas Edison, I've found you.

**Thomas Edison:** I never said I was lost, musclehead. Now can you relax your grip so I can breathe?

**Cracks:** If I didn't relax it for Estelle Getty, I'm certainly not going to relax it for you.

### Critical Reception

Britney Westerbrooks of the Chicago Triumph wrote, "This film is exactly what a summer blockbuster should be; painful to watch, loud and has no frame of reference to reality."
Bradford Duke: Regular Guy (2004)

### Summary

The excitingly engaging Bradford Duke stars in his own film at last! From the successful TV series "Bradford Duke: At The Shops" we see Bradford battling with his long-time nemeses: dull bewilderment, pottering about and sleeping on the couch!

### Top Trivia

Drederick slept a world record 135 hours in a row during shooting of the film. Doctors were twice called as cast and crew thought he was dead.

### Notable Quotes

**Bradford:** I wonder if I can reach the scissors on the table with my foot.....

*Bradford strains for a moment, stretching his leg toward the table*.

**Bradford:** I guess not.

### Critical Reception

Long-time fans flocked to see this film, but in honour of their hero, not too quickly.
Came To Wound (1984)

### Summary

Flint Hennessy is an everyday deli counter worker, until he runs headlong into the mob at an away game of the Cincinatti Reds. Suddenly he's fighting to protect his son and bust a money-laundering operation, all with the help of some conveniently-found guns.

### Cast

* Chip Ragler (Flint Hennessy)
* Grant Cocher (Mikey Hennessy)
* Tony Stacchio (Big Bobby Tucco)
* Robert Marrone (Tommy 'Foot' Gaggio)

### Top Trivia

Chip Ragler found out he had face cancer halfway through shooting and took one morning off to give himself chemotherapy and cure it.

### Notable Quotes

**Flint:** I came here to see my team put some hurt on the other guys. And that's what's gonna happen.

**Big Bobby:** Are we still talking about the money-laundering?

**Flint:** Yes.

**Foot Gaggio:** What about the threats we made to your son?

**Flint:** I'm talking about that too.

**Big Bobby:** It's just you started to confuse us with the talk about your team.

**Flint:** I was... Well, I was trying to... GRAAAAAARGH!!

(*Flint throws down his guns and disembowels Big Bobby and Foot Gaggio with a nearby motorised bat-sharpening tool.*)

### Critical Reception

This film was better-received than most of Ragler's films, probably due to the baseball metaphors. Michael Greerson of the Portland Produce said "Take your girlfriend to this film if she still doubts your heterosexuality, even after twelve good years together."
Spleens Of Christendom (1947)

### Summary

Instructional film scripted by self-described historo-medico Albert Wishton-Cruft charting the rise of intestinal operations during the Inquisition. Thousands of people with various ailments were diagnosed by the Grand Inquisitor as having various demons inside them, and were subsequently carved open to remove them. Also showed how demon-purging was used in then contemporary medicine throughout much of the United States.

### Cast

* Harold Spew (Narrator)
* Dennis Safter (Grand Inquisitor)
* Rebecca Rhys-Towels (Mrs Spudge)
* Melly Walds (Baby Susan)

### Top Trivia

The film was originally made with finances from the Evangelical Christian Thinktank, a group whose chief aim was to reintroduce the Inquisition into 1940s America. Lindquist wisely took the money and made a film exposing the group's intentions, however this did not stop the modern day Inquisition from finding Beezlebub within his colon and killing him in an attempt to exorcise the Prince of Lies.

### Notable Quotes

**Narrator:** Many ailments were thought at the time to be brought about by demons. Stomach aches, irregular bowel movements, being lefthanded, and even being related to a woman born on a Tuesday could mean your intestinal tract may play host to any number of imps, dracolites, goblins, or acolytes of Satan.

**Mrs Spudge:** Grand Inquisitor, my belly has swollen since my wedding night.

**Grand Inquisitor:** It may be the spawn of the Devil's anus hiding in your gut. Bring me my prayer blades!

### Critical Reception

"I never thought I'd see the day when religion and ignorance went hand in hand" - Michael Ledbetter, *Country Tools and Trucks*
Xoxtk 7219z

### Top Trivia

Xoxtk 7219z is a silicon-based life form, and the first extra-terrestrial to ever sign a three picture deal. After the Rotterdam Landings of 1997, producer Lawrence Leadbaum approached 7219z and signed him up to make films in his "own unique voice". At the time he didn't realise that 7219z's voice sounds like a combination of bats screeching and a colony of bees dying in acid.
Boxing In Velour (1949)

### Summary

Shiftless son of Laundromat King Larry Baxter, Cam Baxter has done nothing with his life. When his father signs him up to 'JabSlam' a national, interspecies boxing tournament, Cam has to win the respect of his father and his peers by going against a variety of foes, from Bitchslap Mackenzie the four-armed Scotsman to a wild polar bear.

### Cast

* Anton Robbins (Cam Baxter)
* Miles Stuckeridge (Bitchslap Mackenzie)
* Greg Caperducci (Coach Palmer)

### Top Trivia

Director Schmageggie had no lead for this film up to two weeks into shooting. He had to convince Anton Robbins to accept the role through what we would today call 'stalking', but what people of the '40s called 'suave persistance.'

### Notable Quotes

**Cam:** I can't take another round, Coach. Man was not meant to box a crocodile!

**Coach:** He may be a prehistoric monster with an insatiable appetite, but he's no MAN! Are you gonna be defeated by prehistory?

**Cam:** Forget that! T Rex is mine!!!

### Critical Reception

"Boxing In Velour has taken the prestigious Sunshine Film Critics Award for Most Realistic Melee With A Quadruped. Immedately after, however, the association who founded the award was shut down after 'un-American' activities were suspected in their praise of the film Robber Baron Uncle Sam And The Blood Of The Proletariat (1950)." Tomasina Reynolds, *Custom Boxing Trunks*
The Fatal Smile (2008)

### Summary

The Fatal Smile is a thrilling tale of lust, revenge, thrilling tales and murder. The thrills start when Jon Fraine finds a magic hockey ticket that allows him to travel five minutes into the day before, for two minutes. His wife, Joanne, is a secret agent with the Gestapo who has been ordered to live a life in deep cover married to Fraine. The Gestapo have discovered a magic American football (or NFL) ticket that also lets them travel five minutes into the day before, but when combined with the magic hockey ticket, they can stay there for four minutes instead of two.

### Cast

* Lane Gillis (Jon Fraine)
* Melly Walds (Joanne Fraine)

### Top Trivia

This film was in gestation for many years before its eventual 2008 release. And we mean that literally. It literally gestated in a cow's belly, after being inserted there by Piccolo Paruzzio (which is especially weird since he had nothing to do with this movie).

### Notable Quotes

**Jon:** Joanne! We need to stay for four minutes instead of two!

**Joanne:** Jon! Two minutes is less than four minutes!

**Jon:** Joanne! Four minutes will never be less than two minutes, no matter how the universe contorts!

### Critical Reception

User review by Critic-otron2.0:

While the plot sounds complex, it is not difficult to follow and allows the mind to wander and imagine what you would do if you were able to travel five minutes into the day before for 2 or 4 minutes, and how it could affect your life. Some of the scenarios I came up with were:

1. Stopping and playing with a cat I saw by the side of the road
2. Enjoying a hot shower again
3. Knowing exactly when the lights would change so I could do a rather charming burnout
4. Look for a possible magic baseball ticket

The movie had some excellent scenes, and I wouldn't say that any were unnecessary. Editing was spot on and I could tell when one scene started and moved onto another one, as it moved the story along. The soundtrack was composed by the always stunning Rod Catchkins.

This movie is for the dreamers out there who ever imagined what it would be like if you travelled to the day before for two or four minutes.
Terror In Horror Park (1981)

### Summary

When convicted lunatic Justin Voormyers escapes from a mental facility, six friends find themselves trapped at summer park 'Horrorblud', cowering to the mercy of bloodthirsty Voormyers. But they find an unwitting ally in the murderous patient's doctor, who will stop at nothing to secure his quarry. Not even bloody, bloody murder.

### Cast

* Max Gunning (Tom)
* Sarah Deeper (Nancy)
* Christine Fexton (Billie)
* Jorgan Sturmcrud (Justin Voormyers)
* Jackie Downtown Smith (Knowing Gas Pump Attendant)

### Top Trivia

Standing at 7' 8", Jorgan Sturmcrud was the most obvious for the role of Voormyers. Also, he was a convicted killer himself, something director Paruzzio did not tell the rest of the cast. Scenes with Voormyers hunting the hapless teens were actually Sturmcrud attempting to kill the actors. Luckily he only managed to kill two of them.

### Notable Quotes

**Tom:** Hello? Is someone there? Hello? Hello? Nancy? Hello? Billie? Hello?

*A thump sounds from the gloom.*

**Tom:** Who's there? Anyone? Hello? Hello?

### Critical Reception

"Like being prescribed shit in a bottle. It doesn't make you feel good, and you hate the one who convinced you to take shit." - Morgan Hamilton, *Good Housewives*
Hello! There's The Door (1978)

### Summary

Screwball comedy featuring a young woman with Quillington's Syndrome, a mental disorder that causes her to completely change her mind every five seconds. One minute she wants chocolate, the next cosmetic foot surgery, and the next carob! When her rent goes up and the only way she can stay in her apartment is by taking on a roommate, how will she ever decide on one?

### Cast

* Melissa Batch (Katie Brinwall)
* Max Preece (Russian Orthodox Priest)
* Vince Nobert (Garbage Man)
* Natalie Gassbag (Lipstick Lesbian)
* Gelda Michaels (Young Female Hitler)

### Top Trivia

The complete cast list for this film consists of well over a thousand actors, each appearing for five seconds as Katie's roommate before she changes her mind and replaces them.

### Notable Quotes

**Katie:** I've definitely decided between the three of you. I'm taking the Russian Orthodox priest.

**Russian Orthodox Priest:** You gwill not be regrettink dis decision.

**Katie:** Actually no, I'm going with lipstick lesbian.

**Lipstick Lesbian:** Oh, thank you, that's just lovely of you.

**Katie:** Actually...

**Garbage Man:** Boy oh boy, I've gotta be next!

**Katie:** I think... Young female Hitler.

**Garbage Man:** Hey!

### Critical Reception

"Insensitive to sufferers of Quillington's Syndrome, even though my editor is telling me it's not a real disorder and really I'm just continuing to bash away at this typewriter to drown out the sound of his nasal voice." - Jeff Vargas, New York Letterbox
Krispy Treats Of Satan (2003)

### Summary

Hard-hitting documentary about the Krispy Kreme corporation by former-employee-turned-whistleblower, Declan Crumwald. Crumwald attempts to show that Krispy Kreme is an evil organisation with a similar structure to that of the Italian National Fascist Party, and that's why they fired him, not because he was asleep on the job.

### Cast

* Declan Crumwald (Himself)
* Gryf Penton (Himself)

### Top Trivia

* Grumwald tried several different approaches to prove that Krispy Kreme are evil, which is why the film has an unstructured, almost incompetent feel to it, starting by claiming that the company is fattening children up so they can be eaten by witches, then moving on to linking their supply of glazed sugar to the genocide in Rwanda, before inexplicably attempting to show that only the Chocolate Dreamcake (TM) can burn at a temperature hot enough to melt the steel in the World Trade Center.
* British actor Gryf Penton was convinced to appear in the film under the pretext of an audition for a Pol Pot biopic, but his speech was played out of context to make it seem as though he were decrying Krispy Kreme UK.

### Notable Quotes

*Solemn music plays.*

**Declan Crumwald:** While the boys at Columbine High were pulling the semi-automatic weapons from their trenchcoats, the CEO of Krispy Kreme was conducting a meeting for selected shareholders in Pennsylvania. An hour later, as mothers stood at the school perimeter, wailing for their lost children, the CEO of Krispy Kreme was still conducting that same meeting for selected shareholders in Pennsylvania. The heartlessness of this company can barely be fathomed. And I wasn't even sleeping when they walked in on me anyway, I just had something in both my eyes at the same time.

### Critical Reception

"I suppose it could be worthwhile for people on diets trying to find more reasons not to eat doughnuts." - Harton Walsh, *Common Sense Week*