Neil's Surreal Deals

**Neil's Surreal Deals**

Information

Label
Crazy Musings

Owner(s)
Neil's Deals Limited

Star(s)
Crazy Neil

In-Game

Day(s) Available
Day ???: The Lockdown

Impact(s) on game
No Impact

Variant(s)
Neil's Dark Deals

**Neil's Surreal Deals** is a Tape in *Not For Broadcast*.

## Description

Neil's Surreal Deals is an advertisement available on Day ??? of Not For Broadcast. It comes in a pink VHS tape with the Neil's Deals Limited logo on it, and is available if none of the conditions for Neil's Dark Deals to appear are met.

The advertisement begins with various clips of Crazy Neil advertisements spliced together, introducing the advertisement as "Crazy Neil's Crazy Pre-Christmas Extra Exciting Festive Yuletide Easter Extravaganza." The viewers are then greeted by Crazy Neil, introducing it as another chapter from 'Crazy Neil's Wit & Wisdom'. He gestures towards the camera, stating that he's reaching out through its lens to say: "Buddy, if you're listening, build a better life for yourself."

The advertisement then cuts to a splice of clips of Crazy Neil from both his Crazy Neil Winter and Crazy Neil Christmas advertisements, telling the viewers that if they want crazy, "We got crazy - Crazy deals!" Crazy Neil returns surrounded by question marks, claiming that people ask how he got started in business, informing that it was hats as several images of hats surround him. He states to the viewers that he used to own an entire range of Butt-Lift clinics, commenting that it didn't work out so well due to giving ladies more of a hunched look, which wasn't popular.

Appearing in front of a background filled with various coloured cubes, he tells the viewers that he used to have a ventriloquist act, remarking that he cheated rather, because he trained a dog to talk. An image of a howling wolf is shown as Crazy Neil informs the viewers that they can get down on all fours and yap like a dog for only 22.99 a month. His statement is then interrupted by a clip of Crazy Neil once again from his Crazy Neil Winter advertisement, claiming that the deal is one with Neil appeal.

Crazy Neil returns, reciting that as the astronaut once said to him: "I had a mission!" His statement is then sped up to illegibility as an image of a rocket moves around the screen, followed by Crazy Neil stating "Sometimes you're the alien, and sometimes you're the cow." His statement is sped up once more as he rotates around the screen, next to an image of a moon.

The advertisement then cuts to Crazy Neil, demanding that someone get off his wife as a clip of him from his Crazy Neil Easter advertisement is shown, with him raising his thumbs to the camera and grinning. As he returns, he informs the viewers that an unnamed party wanted to increase recruitment for nuns, listing off: "nuns with buns," "nuns with guns," and "nuns with sons," as Crazy Neil remarks that such didn't go down so much due to nuns not being meant to have sons, with his statement being followed by a clip of himself from his Crazy Neil Winter advertisement grinning at the camera. Crazy Neil then returns, introducing himself as Crazy Bob and commenting that he's there to make the viewer's life a little more enjoyable, giving a respectful greeting to them as the Bob's Robs Limited logo appears on-screen.

## Impact

Due to the Lockdown broadcast taking place during a coma, any advert that is played during it will not have an impact on financial status or the story.

## Trivia

* Neil's Surreal Deals contains footage of Crazy Neil that was filmed during Episode One, but originally didn't make the cut into the game.

## References

1. ↑ https://clips.twitch.tv/ObedientMuddyGarlicFUNgineer-bZi7beEd2Ct78zcv