(Zaira's Special Training) Accepting Yourself

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Fram: Zaira, my shift's up!

Zaira: Lady Fram.

"Lord": Is it that time already? Thank you for keeping me safe, Zaira.

Zaira: It's I who should thank you. The kindness you showed me made the time go quickly. Lady Fram, there is nothing much for you to take over. I will clean up Her Highness's leftovers.

"Lord": No, I'll clean them up. I'm the one who ate, after all.

Fram: Just leave them, Zaira! I'll eat whatever's left, heh heh!

Zaira: Oh... Understood.

"Lord": Didn't you eat already, Fram...?

Fram: heh he! Go get some rest now, Zaira!

Zaira: I take my leave.

"Lord": I'll see you tomorrow.

Zaira: ...

[Avillon Throne Room]

Zaira: ... ... ... Whew...

Rouin: Lady Zaira.

Zaira: Oh, Sir Rouin.

Rouin: There appears to be something on your mind.

Zaira: Erm...

Rouin: Having much on your mind is a good thing. It leads to greater introspection and self-examination.

Zaira: I'd not thought of it that way...

Rouin: However, worrying about matters you cannot change is somewhat unproductive. That is what Sir Mikhail says.

Zaira: I see... He's right. Are you, uh, busy right now?

Rouin: Not at the moment. I've taken care of all urgent matters for the day and was just on my way back.

Zaira: I don't know if this is an appropriate request, but... Would you mind if I ask for some advice?

Rouin: Ask away.

Zaira: Thank you... I'm not great at expressing myself, so I hope you'll bear with me.

Rouin: You're great at expressing yourself. Please, speak freely.

Zaira: Thank you. ... I'm... not good at having relationships with others. When I was in the Order of the Thorns, I was good at keeping the rules, but I almost never had deep conversations with my fellow knights. But here at Avillon, things are... I'm not sure what to call them.

Rouin: Candid?

Zaira: Yes. The knights are not very formal with each other, or even with Their Highness... I find myself feeling awkward. And since I'm only really interested in physical training, I don't know what to talk about with the others. I feel like I'm too stiff when I respond to their comments. It's not that I don't like it here, I just can't seem to blend in and it makes me... uncomfortable.

Rouin: I think you're fine just as you are.

Zaira: ...Huh?

Rouin: Change to one's personality and inclinations does not occur quickly. Time compounds experience into a foundation for each person's way of life, to say nothing of their innate nature. There are occasionally exceptions like Sir Johan, but I believe he was able to change because his past life did not match his innate nature. It is almost as though he "returned" to his real self once his circumstances permitted.

Zaira: Oh, I didn't know that about Sir Johan...

Rouin: Oh, I fear I've spoken out of place. Only he can relate his story to you. Please forget I said anything.

Zaira: Oh, okay.

Rouin: Thank you. Back to the topic at hand... From what I've observed, you seem to be relatively introverted, Lady Zaira. You tend to mull things over internally rather than exchange views with others.

Zaira: That's true.

Rouin: Heh heh, I'm the same way. Introverts don't need to try to pretend to be extroverts. You may be able to mimic them for a short while, but that will only make you tired.

Zaira: That's also true...

Rouin: I have respect for extroverted individuals who can voice their thoughts honestly without hesitation, and who take the lead in forging relationships. It feels good to even just watch them get along with others.

Zaira: I know. Ladies Fram and Charlotte are both like that, as is Lyn... I'm especially jealous that they can approach others as their honest selves.

Rouin: Ha ha, but that is why I believe your character is all the more valuable, Lady Zaira.

Zaira: ...Huh?

Rouin: You're like a foundation stone that holds the rest of the group together. You may be quiet, but because of that, everyone can trust you.

Zaira: Y-you think so...?

Rouin: Yes. Who could dislike someone who is thoughtful of others and is always trying to improve? Oh, but perhaps that is a slightly different topic.

Zaira: Erm... Thank you... But I don't think I deserve such praise...

Rouin: Hmm. I keep veering off onto tangents, I think because I don't get many chances to talk to you. At any rate, what I am trying to say is... it is entirely okay to be the person you are right now. You are perfectly normal.

Zaira: ...

Rouin: And I'm sure as you stay here that you will change little by little. You may not be used to this environment still, but you will adapt. You'll learn how to interact with others and how to form relationships.

Zaira: You really think I can learn that?

Rouin: Yes, and we will all happily be here with you as you do, because you're one of us now.

Zaira: ...

Rouin: You needn't worry, and you needn't change. It's really okay.

Zaira: That is all a huge comfort, Sir Rouin...

Rouin: I'm sure everyone else would've said the same things.

Zaira: Thank you. I'm glad I decided to talk to you. Now I think I've taken too much of your time. You're the busiest person in all of Avillon...

Rouin: I enjoyed our conversation thoroughly. I'm happy to hear it made you feel better. You should get some rest. I'll see you again.

Zaira: Thank you, Sir Rouin. I take my leave. ... He's right... I'm okay as I am. And I can improve... little by little... You're doing good, Zaira. Keep it up!

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