Chuckee Cheese

Chuckee Cheese is an American businessman, grifter, and war profiteer.

**Early Life**

Chuckee was born 1977 in Stalingrad USSR. At a young age he participated in the Soviet Intervention in Afghanistan. But he quickly began selling weapons and ammunition to local militants. This was the beginning of his business career. He quickly made millions from selling red army equipment, but one day he was caught. He was set to be executed but he bribed the gunman.

He then escaped, seeking asylum in San Jose. He attended a private school called; San Jose demoralization facility, its slogan being; "Turning your little boys into Corporate overlords since 1776."

There he learned many important skills such as; Homophobia, prophet over people, and don't think about the children.

### Business

Chuckee started his very own restaurant on 3/18/1977 called Chuck-E-Cheese´s Kiddo Finger Time Theater™. It featured him and his long time friend,

## Chuckee Cheese

### Aliases

Ricky Rat, Chuck Edward Switzerland, Chuckee bringer of bullsh\*t pizza, Kiddo Finger Man

### Relatives

Charles Entertainment Cheese(son), West Virginia

### Affiliation

Red Army Air Corps(formerly), Chuckee Cheese´s Deep Fried Kiddo Fingers™

## Biographical information

### Marital status

Gerald Gerbil II(married 12/31/1991-1/1/1992)

## Physical description

### Gender

Toxic masculine buck-tooth buckaroo, also identifies as and Apache Attack Helicopter

### Eye color

Zesty

Herald Hamster, Dancing and Singing and entertaining children. At his restaurant he sold Deep-Fried Kiddo Fingers™ and Untasty™ pizza.

**Theatrical**

Chuckee had written several theatrical acts such as: Now you know where babies come from!™, Smoking is actually good for you™, and; Buy Chuckee products even if they kill you™

Chuckee was criticized for the non child appropriate content of his acts, to which he responded with; "It's okay as long as it's educational!™" Chuckee then wrote the book; "Why we should throw kids on the front lines unarmed™."

The book reached massive criticism for its outlandish ideas. Chuckee responded with gunfire. At a press conference he opened fire on 27 critics, 1 remained, his name was Vladimir Vole.

Vladimir Vole said it was like golden specks brushing against his cheeks. In an interview he stated that a critic named Morris Muskrat said "Sir, do you really think that 5 year olds should be pregnant?"

Chuckee yelled multiple racial slurs then took out an aug A3 and opened fire.

Vladimir Vole said he thought he would die, but then there was a loud banging noise and Vlad fell to the ground. His cause of death is still unknown to this day.

**Court cases**

Chuckee has been charged of 26 counts of murder, and 50 cases of fraud. At the start of every hearing Chuckee would take out a pistol and shoot the judge. Chuckee then bribed the jury with crack. It worked every time.

**Politics**

In 2008 Chuckee ran for president. His slogan was; "Throw the kids in Afghanistan!™" He said that he would bomb every inch of Afghanistan.

Chuckee lost the primary, so in a press conference following his defeat he opened fire on the New York Times reporter. He then announced he would be running for governor of Ohio in the 2010 midterms.

Ohio's spirits were up as Chuckee spread his Kiddo friendly™ policies throughout the state.

Sadly Chuckee lost, he took his anger out on his campaign manager by shooting him in places we shouldn't mention.

**Sports**

Chuckee then took up a career in sports, joining the Ohio Buckaroos, he was criticized for joining a high school team, so he poisoned that reporter's dog. The Ohio City Buckaroos had a very high performance. One day it was discovered that they used steroids, then Chuckee shoved a gallon of vodka down his discoverer's throat. He was so drunk when he told the story that know-one believed him.

Chuckee's most famous game was between the Buckaroos and Charleston. The score was 80-0. "The steroids worked better than I thought!" Chuckee later said in an interview. He then remembered he wasn't supposed to say that so he punched the camera. He then faked his death and changed his name to Chuckee bringer of bullsh\*t pizza.

After the Infamous 1989 Team The Ohio City Buckaroos changed their Name to The Buckos. They also made a new logo.

**Recipes**

Chuckee bringer of bullsh\*t pizza decided to return to his old job as the leader of a chain of Kiddo friendly™ restaurant and entertainment centers. But Chuckee and his Fun Centers™ soon faced criticism for their Untasty™ pizza being "Unsafe for child consumption." Chuckee also faced criticism for the amount of children going missing in his Fun Centers.™ To that he replied with; "Don't worry, they're in heaven now!"

He then wrote a short cook book explaining his recipes. In his book; Chuckee's Lovely Yummy Highly Processed and not FDA Approved Recipes of fun™, he said that his Untasty™ pizza was created using fibers of fat mixed with Chuckee's Delicious cans of Kiddo Meet™, and the cheese was made from Chuckee's Yummy Mouse Sourced Cheese™. Critics said the food was nausea inducing and flavorless. Afterwords Chuckee changed the recipe to include Chuckee Vape Chemicles™ (For flavor), and bleach (For sanitation). All critics who tried the new recipe died from mysterious causes.

Chuckee also released the recipe for his Deep-Fried Kiddo Fingers™. He said that they were organically sourced from free range lost kiddos. They simply found them lost in the Fun Centers™, cut off their fingers and threw them in the dumpster. When he was asked what happened to the kiddos he responded with; "They're not Kiddos they're organic waste, and they go to the dump."

**Death**

Chuckee died in a police shootout in 2017 when he was discovered doing all his illegal activities.

He had a big funeral, 18,000 people attended, his tombstone rivaled the size of the Burj, being just 100 feet shorter.

Note; The original version of this article is on the Loraxian Wiki, but this article has minor changes and both were created by Bigchungusjuicymen.