299: Like a Zen Rake

## Summary

The Anglerfish tells the group that Raphina can't return to them, but before they go and find her, the party quiz the Anglerfish about whether things will go back to normal now that they've killed Savnok. The Anglerfish explains that all the weird changes to the world are being caused by an unknown, nameless, extraplanar power and five slivers of dark power who escaped from Barovia, one of which was Savnok. The Anglerfish then explains that Tivoli is missing, tells Rosco that his memories are being blocked and affords him the ability to breathe under water, and gives Batthwack something to help Captain Clockface.

## Synopsis

The party quiz the Aeonian Anglerfish while they wait for Raphina, not realising that she's now unable to return to return from the lake surface. They're keen to know when reality is going to get fixed, now that they've dealt with Savnok. The Anglerfish reassures them that Beartoggle River is already back in place, but what about the rest of the world? Batthwack asks tentatively, *"Is Gully's End fixed? There was a King Batthwack."* *"Well, I'm not sure of the specifics, but no, man."* says the Anglerfish regretfully. He goes on to explain that Savnok was merely one of several "slivers" of a nameless power from beyond this plane of existence. With the help of some elaborate metaphors, the Anglerfish likens Savnok to merely one finger of a hand. *"Like, they have, like, their own agency, you know? Like, they can, like, do their own thing and they're, like, their own beings, but they're part of this other thing that's, like, off in some, like, unknowable place, you know?"* he says. He explains that Savnok actually talked about how he was better than the other dark powers, but secretly suspected he was the worst.

The Anglerfish explains that the dark powers had previously been kept safely trapped in the cursed valley of Barovia. He's not sure if that was the party's doing, or if it was inevitable, but something set them free. He says the nameless being has five slivers *"sunk into our world, dug in deep, like a fucking tick, man. Just, like, burrowed in there, sucking out power, getting fat."* They've removed Sanvok from Beartoggle, but the others are still in Gully's End, Carnivar, Tapperdown and Bufflin.

Batthwack starts to wonder if Raphina really should be back by now. The Anglerfish reassures them that she's fine and back in the river, though she won't be able to return to the lake now she's gone up. He says he's keeping the lake in place for now, but if they follow her up there they'll be back in the old Beartoggle. No dam, no ibish; they were some of the changes caused by the dark powers. *"Is Savnok dead, or did we push the sliver out?"* asks Batthwack. The Anglerfish says that Savnok is definitely dead, but reminds them that he was just one finger of the hand. The nameless, unknowable entity at the centre is what connects them all.

Will wants to know if this has anything to do with the various orbs they've encountered, and the Anglerfish isn't really sure, saying they might be more slivers. He also reminds them that there's a bigger, more powerful entity at the centre of all the slivers. *"I don't know if it's, like, in one spot or not. Not one of the five. Like, another one."* Exasperated, Will asks *"Why do we have to do this? I just want to go home. Can you do that? Hey fish, can you send me home?"* Batthwack explains that he and Will are trying to get back to Tivoli. *"That's a further trip than I can manage,"* says the Anglerfish. He goes on to explain what he means, *"Tivoli's not here, man. You know how I said they're changing shit? There's no Tivoli, man. At least, not how you know it."* Will doesn't understand; he's met people who knew about Tivoli. The Anglerfish says that some people are from the unchanged version of reality. Will's beginning to get really angry at the Anglerfish. *"Everything's getting muddled up and bleeding together,"* says Rosco quietly. The Anglerfish says that he doesn't know their motives. Are they trying to destroy this reality, or is it just caught in the middle of some anarchic game?

The Anglerfish turns to Rosco and says *"Hey, man. You doin' okay?"* Rosco's been looking rather despondent throughout this discussion. He asks the Anglerfish what he knows about his own reality. There's a pause as the Anglerfish swims down and puts one of his huge eyes level with Rosco's face. *"First of all, man, I love you, all right?"* He seems to ponder the question for a moment before saying, *"Dude, you're not from either of these realities, man. You're old, man. Like, real old. Yeah, someone's trying to keep you from your past. I think there's something in there that's, like, all blocked off and stuffed up. It's hard to see. What do you think?"*

Rosco murmurs, *"I think... I think..."* and then suddenly starts gasping for air. He can't breathe! Apparently his *Potion of Water Breathing* has finally run out. The Anglerfish rushes forwards with his mouth open and blasts bubbles into Rosco's face. Rosco chokes and coughs as suddenly he finds himself able to breathe again. *"Oh thank you, I thought I was a goner,"* he says. Thinking of the water breathing, he asks if he's like the others now. The Anglerfish gives an answer he wasn't expecting, saying, *"Yeah man. You're, like, gonna, like, fucking save everyone."* He gives Rosco some advice. *"No matter what you find out, like, you are who you are."* The Anglerfish apologises for not being able to give more definitive answers and looks at Will and says, *"You don't have much faith in me. At least you have more faith in me than you do in you, man. But that's kind of sad too."*

Will doesn't want to listen to any more of this and says they should probably go and find Raphina, who's likely dead by now. The Anglerfish assures them that she's fine. *"Is Captain Clockface fine?"* asks Batthwack. *"Oh, dude, your friend, man. Here,"* says the Anglerfish, who swims over and opens his mouth. An oddly human-like tongue pokes out, and sitting on it is a rod with intricate scrollwork on it. He tells Batthwack to put the rod down Captain Clockface's throat. *"That should help,"* he says. *"Better than a crank, right? That shit, I mean, it probably would have fucking worked, but what a goddamn pain in the ass, right?"* The Anglerfish tries to allay their concerns and says that even though stuff will have changed when they get back to the surface, Captain Clockface an Mo are still ok. Rosco likens this to putting reality through a sifter, removing anything that shouldn't be there. Or like light going backwards through a prism. *"We're un-refracting reality,"* he says.

*"This all sounds great... for these guys to do,"* says Rosco and Will laughs at the idea that Rosco can weasel his way out of this one. The Anglerfish says, *"Dude, you gotta, like, get all the other slivers man."* *"What happens if we, just, you know... don't?"* *"I don't know. Probably, like, sink in deeper, man, and, like, be harder to fucking pull out,"* says the Anglerfish gravely.

## Quotes

* The Anglerfish: *"Maybe we're just, like, a fucking tract of sand and these five fingers are, like, a fucking zen rake, man, just making patterns."* Abby: *"Ooh! I like it."* Adam: *"Oof. That was good."* The Anglerfish: *"Aw, that was a good metaphor! Aw yeah. I'm not great at 'em."* Rosco: *"Who are you talking to right now? Nobody said anything."* The Anglerfish: *"I just, like..."* Abby: *"Adam's gonna keep you in line tonight, Eric. Look out!"* The Anglerfish: *"You're not there, man!"*

## Trivia

* The episode title was a quote from Eric. The group were discussing the dark powers and their potential motivations with myriad metaphors. The Anglerfish says, *"Maybe we're just, like, a fucking tract of sand, and these five fingers are like a fucking zen rake, man, making patterns."* Later Rosco was asking the Anglerfish for some answers about himself and his background: *"Dude, you're not from either of these realities, man. You're from another one. Just a different one. Like, not bad or good or whatever. Just, like, another one. You're old, man. Like, real old. Yeah, someone's trying to keep you from your past, I think. There's something in there that's like all blocked off and stuffed up. Like a zen rake? Nah... But something..."*
* The MIT's Mystery Hunt: http://puzzles.mit.edu/
* This week's episode description describes the Pork Fried Dice wiki as: baller.

## Recap Song

*Main article: The Music of Pork Fried Dice*
This episode featured KT doing a recap to the tune of *Enemy* by Imagine Dragons and J.I.D:

*[Intro]*

Look out for the recap!

*[Verse 1]*

The lake's our battleground, good thing we can't be drowned

The anglerfish rebounds, dragon smackin' us all around

Sticky black goo did explode on Raphina and Rosco

"To whom do you report?" Here's mustard, take a snort

*[Pre-Chorus]*

Watch out Savnok, baby

Here's a dragon grandma lady

*[Chorus]*

Oh, but luckily

Yarjerit knows we gotta go for dragon teeth!

Guidance energy

Whoever knew dentistry could be so turtley-y-y-y-y?

So turtley-y-y-y-y

(He's super sweaty)

*[Verse 2]*

The dragon might be dead, but there's goo on Ani's head

A scissor to the aid, Baron of Cleaning cut your braid

So we killed the dragon brute, but Aeon thinks he's cute

Revealing that a mouth is open on the butte

*[Pre-Chorus]*
Don't just stand there and gawk!

Kill the brain of Savnok!

*[Chorus]*

Oh, the butte's alive!

Use the tooth and make it do a swan dive

Oh, just swim inside

Save everybody Toggle-wide

While he's still stupefied-ied-ied-ied-ied

Will is horrified-ied-ied-ied-ied

*[Verse 3]*

(I can't rap)

(BATS, RATS AND WOLVES!)

*[Chorus]*

What do all the infernal words mean?

Lose your memories

Rosco is a volunteer for brain butchery

Oh, so glittery

Will was throwing *Eldritch Blasts* like confetti

Oh, the history

Rosco gave a scream, he fucked a fairy queen

*[Outro]*

Swim away, Raphina, now you've got antennae

(What a victory!)

Swim away, you lobster, check on the lake

(Look out for the riverbed)

## Gallery

*Main article: The Art of Pork Fried Dice*

## References

1. ↑ See episode 274: Treat Mo-Self
2. ↑ See episode 113: We Only Heard Lard and the Amber Temple
3. ↑ See episodes 210: Does Anyone Need a Soup Tureen? and 232: Shoulda Bit Him in the Taint