Mavka Part 2.

## Trapped in a Circus.

I sometimes wonder if they were intentional in giving me a mind of my own. Or was I just supposed to be a sick party trick? A silly game to scare their audiences, then something to discard once they’re satisfied. Some *thing.*

 I remember being in that dark space filled with voices in my head that I somehow knew weren’t mine. *You’re a monster.  Monsters kill.* I looked around and saw a few others like me, confused and filled with a fury that didn’t belong to them either. Filling a shadow of an existence with rage and bloodlust is a foolish thing to do. Someone might get hurt.

The space I resided in began to take shape as light and color illuminate, solidifying what used to be endless darkness.  The first thing I saw was her face. Green and smooth and innocent and afraid. Eyes locked with mine, my eyes. *My* face.  Our face. Staring. We were one in the same.

A flawless, perfect reflection…... with one small exception.  *You’re a monster.  Monsters kill.* I slowly grinned.

Her eyes widened with shock and realization.  I whipped my hand out, gripping her arm and pulled. Grappling, choking, scratching; a murderous frenzy came over me. But she fought back too.  Unexpectedly.

I suppose a face of innocence can easily hide what's under the surface. I wondered what else was hiding...I peered into her mind and was faced with a flood of thoughts and emotions. Mavka Valkalyn.  She’s panicked, worried about her friends. Helio. Gossamer. Those must be the others here. I wonder why they left her. I’m distracted dissecting her thoughts and I’m shoved back hard into the reflective glass around us.

I’m still grinning as blood begins to trickle out of my nose. Our nose. I lash out and grab her throat. She tries to fight back but I’m stronger.

I take the opportunity to sink deeper into her head.  Her mind is full of colors and feelings I’ve never experienced before. Places of both darkness and light.  Faces of people she loves and resents, hours of traveling through cities and forests and mountains.  Families, friendships, lovers, enemies.  Feelings of attachment and loneliness. Ashes and Flames haunting her when she rests.

And I suddenly crave something stronger than the lust for blood.  I didn’t understand this emptiness in my chest that I suddenly wanted to fill.  But as soon as I acknowledge it, a foreign yet familiar voice screams in my head. It burns away my thoughts like the white hot sun burning fair, supple skin. *YOU’RE A MONSTER.  MONSTERS KILL.*

Not even a second later I hear hurried footsteps approach. I see a tall armed woman with brown hair and similar ears to mine. Ours. That one must be Gossamer. Her blood-soak hands grip her sword.  It’s not her blood, but the blood of her reflection.  She actually killed hers. The look in her golden eyes reminds me of that voice in my head. *Monsters kill.*

I hear more footsteps coming from around the corner, and an instinctive thought I hadn’t felt yet overwhelms me. *I don’t want to die.* But this time, the voice *is mine*. Or is it hers? I look at Mavka, she looks relieved to hear her friends coming. There’s too many of them.  I don’t want my blood to mix with the blood on their swords.  I grumbled in defiance and finally let go of Mavka’s throat.

When I recede into the shadows and mirrors, they don’t pursue me.

I watch as Mavka gets help from Gossamer, as Helio catches up to them.  They run away quickly looking for an escape.  So they *are* afraid, but can still kill.  Intriguing.  I watch them find a door that opens into the rest of the circus.  At that moment, a second thought enters my mind.  *My* thought.  *I don’t want to stay here.  I won’t live if I stay.* I check my surroundings, then take off after Mavka and her friends, catching the door right before it closes.

The first thing I noticed was the fact that Mavka and her friends never turned back.  They just submersed themselves into these colorful crowds, not thinking anyone would follow. Naive. The second thing I noticed was how loud it can be to have so many people all gathered together.  I wanted there to be less of them. But it would bring too much attention if I just started killing them all, even though I *really* wanted to. I had to be cautious, discrete.

While the crowds were focused on the magic of the circus, and the entertainment it held, I kept my eyes locked on the back of Mavkas head. If she wasn’t from this place, then she must know how to leave it.

Her and her friends wandered aimlessly for what seemed like forever, up until they seemed to have spotted someone…someone familiar to them? It was a tall elven man, with bright red hair kept short.  He was pulling some sort of cart that carried a catchy little tune.  I krept closer, trying to listen in on their conversation.

“Well if it isn't the Amber Order! Well, most of you…what is a group like you doing in a circus like this?” The red-headed man asked.  His tone of voice was light and cheery, most definitely a facade.

“Hey Kendrick! Yeah we were invited I guess? But it’s hard to feel very welcome…” Mavka said with a shiver that made me smirk.  She seemed to talk to him as if he was a friendly acquaintance, although she definitely didn’t expect to see him in a place like this. They all seemed to be convinced of his happy-go-lucky persona.

I slowly crept closer - trying to get a better look at what was in this man’s, Kendrick’s, cart - but my path was interrupted. Three burly men, all wearing masks to hide their identity, stumbled right into me. They appeared to have been drinking some sort of concoction that affected their balance. An arm or an elbow collided with my head, and sent me to the ground. “Out of the way, you fucking *bitch*!” One of them said, causing the other two giggles between hiccups. *Fucking bitch. I like the way those words tasted.*

I considered following them to a dark, secluded  corner and making them regret their existence, but decided otherwise. Learning about Mavka’s acquaintance could be more rewarding.  I picked myself back up and hoped Mavka’s group were still talking with Kendrick.  They were. No one had seemed to notice me still. Amusing.

“Yep I can get that delivered to Queen Sophya in no time!”  Kendrick said, nodding enthusiastically. So he’s a messenger, that must be his trade.  He must know lots of information about everyone then, useful.  The group, Amber Order, as Kendrick referred to them as - although he was right, they were missing two others according to Mavka’s mind- said their goodbyes and started to part ways.

For a moment I wondered if I’ll have better luck following Kendrick, as he seemed to know more than the others. But before I was able to decide, that *presence* in my head gripped my thoughts as though my mind was in a choke-hold. I came to the realization that although it’s felt quieter since I left that space of reflective glass, *they* still had a hold on me. *YOU’RE A MONSTER. MONSTERS-”*Shut up, you fucking *bitch.*” a spit out in a harsh whisper. I felt the rage and fury curdle in my chest as my eyes latched back on Mavka's face in the crowd. *My* face.  The hunger and lust for blood, whether my own desires or someone else’s, was still lingering in the back of my mind. When Kendrick separated himself from the group, I didn't pursue him. I pursued *her.*

This hunger, this need won’t be satisfied until I spill her blood. Take her heart, her life, her *identity*.  Then it clicks. Maybe I can satisfy this craving *and* escape this *hell* at the same time. As the idea started to form and take shape in my mind, I smiled and followed Mavka and her friends. Watching, waiting for the right moment to strike.  To take. To *replace.*

## The Waiting Game

[REDACTED]

A tattoo parlor, a fortune teller’s tent, a lion show, all these activities I witness Mavka and her group trying so desperately to enjoy.  It was as if the idea of useless fun didn’t come naturally to these people.  *A pity.* While the crowds were forgetting their lives and diving head first into the distractions and thrills, these people were trying so hard to make sense of it all.  Trying to understand the things that were meant to *not* make sense. *So gullible* to the reality behind the illusions that I so lucidly understood.

If they weren’t here to enjoy the loud noises and bright lights, or take advantage of the shadowed corners and masked intentions, what *was* the point?  And then for the first time in this endless night, they found their point.  Or at least Mavka did.

They said the show was called Karaa’s Melodies.  Now that was a name I knew meant something. They sat in the very front row, oblivious to literally everyone behind them in the crowds.  I sat only two rows behind them and snuck some seasoned nuts from an old woman's bag.The stage illuminated a single individual that checked all the boxes for what I knew about her. Tall, elvish, dark, mysterious yet inviting.  She welcomed the crowd with her eyes, and from her mouth she began to sing.

It baffles me how someone screaming specific sounds with purpose could completely entrap an audience of hundreds with admiration.

Something so pathetically simple and meaningless could bring Mavka so much emotion -  I could see it on the tips of our pointy ears, without even needing to see her face.  The way she sat on the very edge of her seat, one light breeze away from falling face first into the railing.  I so madly wanted to just be that “light breeze”, but that would make escaping close to impossible.  I had to wait, I would find the right moment.  But the itch, the raging voice inside my mind didn’t make the waiting game any easier.

I was hoping after the performance ended, Mavka’s group would be satisfied with their ventures and try to find some private place to go - where it would be easier to get closer.  But when the show did end, Mavka dragged her friends immediately backstage.  And although it was indeed private, attention on Mavka never waivered enough - especially when Karaa first locked eyes on her. *Irritating.* It was as if Mavka was the least *and most* afraid as she had ever been since her encounter with me.  This dark complexioned, white-haired entertainer seemed to hold the thread of Mavka’s entire stability between her fingertips.

But unlike what I would’ve done with such an opportunity, Karaa embraced her with arms of longing and aged desire.  Feelings I only witnessed, never wanting.  I waited outside the tent flaps for what felt like an eternity while they reunited, and introduced all the friendly faces.  Karaa being with them had changed the group's mentality about this pocket dimension entirely.  Although they were still somewhat cautious, they all let themselves lean into the illusions with much less apprehension.  This sparked hope of opportunity for me.  Maybe Karaa’s presence wasn’t going to ruin things for me after all. *This could be useful,* I thought to myself, and it  was.

They ventured deeper into the game of mirages that was set up for them.  Riddles and puzzles with rules ever changing, delving into the atmosphere and appreciating the company.  Until something caught our eyes. A maze, *too perfect.* And without much thought, they walked right in, and my escape was practically set in stone.

The maze was cut up into three paths, but I knew that in this sick dimension, all three choices would be unavoidable if they wanted to find the finish.  I knew which one would be perfect, and as they (as predicted) chose the “safer” paths, I headed straight for the “dangerous” one.  I would let them come to me.

Darkness was the first thing that I was met with, and I embraced every bottomless depth of it. Breathing in through my green elvish nose the shadows and cavities that pure, magical darkness provided.  It felt so familiar and natural, that I let out a sigh of contentment.  Though the darkness was thick and broad, I could feel the trees and jungle foliage around me.  After some time, I found my perch in a low hanging limb, and waited.

It was mostly quiet, the only thing disturbing the peace was the voices in my head.  The longer I sat there the more they intensified. *You’re a monster. Monster’s kill.  You’re a monster.*  It wasn’t the words that had the effect on me though, it was the push of bloodlust and vengeance that was let loose over my body between every syllable. *Soon enough, you little bitch.  I’ll get to kill soon.* “You better”

[REDACTED]

There wasn’t a moment of doubt that entered into her friend’s minds. As I had strangled the life out of Mavka’s body I also ransacked her mind for every pattern of thought I would need to become her.  I was met with little resistance.  Well, it would be hard to resist when you combine fear of the hostile darkness and not being able to breathe.  Even Karaa only looked at me with disappointed eyes when I wasn’t being helpful, although their time apart did give me a great advantage.  Throughout the rest of the entire maze, they never suspected a thing.  No one did.  I finally did it.  As soon as we fell through the portal and out of the sky, the voices and itching withdrew to almost nothing and I could finally think.  I only had one thought when we slammed into the moist, gritty sand. *Run*. Nobody followed.

## A Breath of Fresh Air

The air was different here, there was simply more of it.  The sky, so much bigger and brighter than I’d ever anticipated.  Reality was no longer hidden by swirling clouds of sparkles and fumes.  I could run in one direction, and not find myself going in circles.  The sand was soft and pulled at my shoes as I ran, making slight insignificant attempts to bury my feet.  When I hit stone it was gritty and solid, giving me more purchase to propel myself forward.

I used the adrenaline of freedom to fuel my legs to run faster, and faster.  I could run to the edge of this world, without anyone coming close to stopping me.

I whipped through coastal foliage and trees, lept over small fountains and vaulted over stone walls.  I quickly found a road, and kept running - not caring where it would take me.  The farther I ran, the smaller the leftovers of that voice became.  The voice once tearing out my mind, was only found in the dust trail I left behind.

It wasn’t too long before the heat from the hot burning sun and the pain of my overexerted muscles won the fight against my new taste of freedom.  I fell into a brisk walk to catch my breath. *My* breath.  Not Mavka’s, not Theirs, not anybody’s but mine.  And I took every breath with the same satisfaction.  As I walked, I twisted around making sure I wasn’t being followed or pursued.  Nobody was coming, from any direction.  Until I saw a shape of something in the distance, up ahead, on top of a hill of sand.

At first I only saw the silhouette of what looked like a person pulling a cart of some kind.  As I drew closer, I heard a whistle of a tune in the wind blowing past.  Something about it caught my attention, but I couldn’t guess if it was familiar.  It was a tune I hadn’t recognized coming from the circus in all it’s illusions, but it had to have.  Maybe it was something I had caught in Mavka’s head, a tune hummed by someone she cared about?  I couldn’t place the real source, but decided that I would greet this person as Mavka.  Hoping I could *collect* some resources for whatever lies ahead.

The person, being above me as I climbed the dune, was obstructed by the sun so I couldn’t see them first.  But it didn’t take long for them to look down and recognize me.  They stopped whistling their little tune to call out to me and give me a friendly wave.  I responded with a wave of equal enthusiasm.

“Well!  Long time no see, Mavka!  I see you made it out of the Circus alright, where are your friends?”  No longer obstructed by the sun, I saw the red hair, the pointy ears, and the charastmic grin.  Kendrick the Communicator.  While I first saw him at the circus, I must’ve recalled the friendly whistling tune from Mavka’s head.  This was the man I suspected was I grinned back with equal friendliness and responded.

“Hey Kendrick, yeah…we all made it out in one piece luckily.  How did *you* get out so quickly?” That was definitely something Mavka would’ve asked, and I also was curious.  Besides, the best answer to a question you don’t have the answer to, is another question.  I hadn’t seen him enjoying the entertainment the Circus had to offer, and he definitely didn’t go through any mazes.  He looked too unscathed.

“Oh you know, I have my ways” he said with a wink.  Although the care-free tones didn’t quite match his eyes.  He was looking at me too closely.

“So, I rather doubt it but….any messages for me?” I ask sheepishly, matching Mavka’s body language effortlessly.  I cross my arms and slouch back into myself, making me appear smaller and timid. “I guess that’s a stupid question since we just saw eachother.” With this, Kendrick falls for the act, conveniently.  He’s definitely sharp, but I’m sharper.

“No no, not a stupid question at all, let me check!” He turns his back to me as he goes into his little handcart.  It’s filled to the brim with boxes and chests, holding secrets I get more and more curious about.  A little crow sits in a birdcage, amongst a few other feathered creatures, unperturbed by the encounter.

As he rummages I creep a little closer to Kendrick, and I slip my quiet hand into the satchel over his shoulder.  I make my hand a small whisper of a presence in his bag, as I swiftly rifle through the contents.  I finally over a second or two, grip something useful.  A dagger of some sort, and carefully begin to pull it out when my wrist is snatched up too fast for me to react.

Kendrick whips his head towards me at the same time, and I see a small glimpse of his true colors for the first time.  Out of pure instinctual reaction, I grab his arm with my opposite hand, lock eyes and take a stab into his mind.

[REDACTED]

This might be the first person I've met that I haven't instantly wanted to kill. "Who are you?"  He asks under his breath, contemplating in his mind the obvious fact that I’m indeed *not* the person I’ve perfectly replicated thus far. I stare into him, brows furrowed, the muscles in my jaw tightening.  I don't respond. He just stares back with apprehension at first, but then curiosity? It's then that I notice not just that he's staring, but watching me.  More specifically, watching my hair.  I let go of him for a second to reach up and grab a section of hair and pull it forward so I can see.  My hair, once dark and long as hers, has started to shorten, slowly becoming a warm ginger color like *his*.  My assessment for this person had run deep enough that I started to imitate his features without even realizing.

I quickly reconfigure my appearance back to Mavka, even though I’ve been discovered. I drop the dagger to twist my wrist free, and push back and away.  I take a couple steps back, tentatively, not sure what I want to do next.“Now this…” Kendrick chuckles under his breath, picking up the dagger I dropped and twirling it around in his hands before looking back up at me with a grin. “*This* is interesting.”