Cluedo

Cluedo is the eleventh chapter in the Wombles Six.

A meowy named Meowycommissioner was holding a meeting with the other meowys.  “SO!” he yelled.  “I AM HERE TO INFORM YOU THA-“

“Why are you yelling?” interrupted Meowykins.  “I’M NOT!” yelled Meowycommissioner.  “O…k?” said Meowykins and now kept her mouth shut.

Meowycommissioner started again, “SO!  I AM HERE TO INFORM YOU THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF CRIMINALS HANGING AROUND THE UK! SO!  WE ARE GOING TO TRY AND STOP THEM!  ANY QUESTIONS?”

“I have a question!” said Meowyskin.  “As well as the criminals, oughtn’t we arrest Meowykins?  I mean, she’s got an owner!  That’s against the Meowylaw!”

“I ASKED MEOWYLAW ABOUT THAT AND SHE SAID SHE LIKED MEOWYKINS AND KNEW SHE DIDN’T MEAN ANY HARM SO IT’S OK!” yelled Meowycommissioner.

Meowyskin grunted. “Well I suppose I’ll have to deal with it another way.” She muttered.

Suddenly Meowy?what!is?going!on? burst out, “What is going on?!?!?!”

All the Meowys looked up to see two guinea pigs rolling up to them in a lego motorbike.  “Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak?” said one of them.

None of the Meowys understood.  Well, almost none of them.  Meowyroy piped up, “Yars!  Har warnt dart war!” he pointed to his left.

None of the other Meowys understood.  Well, almost none of them.  Meowyweird piped up, “Wep!  Why war wit woo!”

All this was so confusing for the rest of the Meowys.  Meowy?what!is?going!on? even said, “What is going on?!?!?!”

Here is a translated version of what happened:

“Have you seen Dr Trouble?” said one of the guinea pigs.  “Yes!  He went that way!” said Meowyroy.  “Yep! I saw it too!” agreed Meowyweird.

Carmy and Claire drove back to New Avengers HQ to meet Murdock.  This conversation was with squeaking but it’s easier to just put it in English:

“Did you find Dr Trouble?” asked Murdock.  “No but we know which way he went!” replied Carmy.  Murdock scratched his head.  “Did he come here?”  “No we just came to get you because we’ll need extra help!”  “Oh ok then take me there!”

So Carmy and Claire rolled the Guineacycle to where Meowyroy had pointed with Murdock running behind.

They ended up in front of the sea at Hengistbury head.  They saw a black motorboat quickly zooming away from the beach.  “That could be Dr Trouble!” squeaked Carmy.

Both at once Carmy and Claire exclaimed, “To the Guineaboat!”  Murdock followed them then later they all came back with a small Lego boat.  “Um…” said Murdock.  “I might have a bit of trouble riding on that.”

“Oh yeah!  Silly us!” squeaked Claire.  “Carmy, get Tiger-boy a bigger boat!”  Carmy left and later came back with an enormous Lego orange and black boat.

Murdock climbed into it and went to the Lego steering wheel.  He turned it a lot then suddenly realised that he wasn’t in the water yet. “Hey Carmy, how do you start this thing?” he said, but he was too late.  The most amazing guinea pigs the world has ever seen had already left in the Guineaboat.  “Help!” said Murdock.

At that moment he suddenly heard a very familiar voice.  “You fool! What’re ya doin’ it that Lego thing? Get out and help me find Thomas and Lucy!  I was showin’ off my strength and they ran away!”

“B A?” said Murdock. “What are *you* doing here?  I’ve got to get this boat out the sea to reach Carmy and Claire!”

“You fool!  That ain’t a boat!  It’s a ridiculous Lego model!  And who on earth are Carmy and Claire?  They’re just names I saw on the back of a yellow Lego car!  Why’ve you suddenly become obsessed with Lego?  You fool!”

Murdock sighed and got out of the enormous Lego structure.  Then he looked around for Thomas and Lucy with B A.

Suddenly a woman with blue hair and a weird bikini came up to them.  “Have you seen a bald woman who carries a machete everywhere and a woman in a black sparkly catsuit with brunette hair?” she asked.  “They were working with me but they’ve disappeared.”

“You fool!  Those two people are Mrs Peel and Catwoman! They’re both wanted criminals!” said B A.  “Well so are you technically.” Replied Katy.

“No we ain’t!  We’re wanted but ain’t no criminals!”  “Why should I believe that?  Anyway I saw Tiger-boy there with Mr Teddy Bear!”

“I was just running away!” said Murdock, “And why does everyone keep calling me Tiger-boy?” Everyone ignored him & Katy walked away.

Eventually, she found Mrs Peel & Catwoman. They were playing a game. “Was it Peacock with the wrench in the courtyard?” asked Mrs Peel, moving a blue player token & silver wrench token into a courtyard picture on a game board. “I can’t answer.” Replied Catwoman after looking through some cards. She rolled a six & moved her player token to the dining room. She brought a silver dagger token in with her. “Was it Scarlet with the dagger in the dining room?” she asked. “It was.” Said Mrs Peel, showing Catwoman a card that said ‘Scarlet’ with a picture of a woman in a red dress.

“Stop it, you stupid people!” yelled Katy. “Shut your mouth.” Said Catwoman. “Why should I?” asked Katy. “Kittens!” said Catwoman. Three men wearing tiger suits came out & leapt on Katy. Then a blonde-haired woman in a blue dress came in. “I must be dreaming!” said Mrs Peel. “Why?” asked Katy, trying to get up. “Ow!” “That’s Peacock, AKA Eleanor Hamilton! She’s supposed to just be a character in Cluedo!” replied Mrs Peel.

Eleanor got a wrench out from under her dress. “Are you on my side or not?” she asked. “If it’s not, I’ll kill you all with this wrench & leave your bodies in Samuel Black’s courtyard!” “Depends whether you’re on ours.” Said Catwoman. After they had explained themselves to each other, they teamed up. Eleanor got Katy & Catwoman to make up. Then they went to Katy’s massive unlit mansion where the Katycat zombie army had been left.

When they got to the mansion, they saw a tiny orange cat. “Get outta here, Mr Tiny-Cat!” Said Catwoman. “I’m Meowymagic!” replied the cat. They all walked round him, which took a very long time.