Chapter 8

**Serpent Charmer**

## Characters

* 3 x teenagers
* Oscar
* Kevin
* Carl
* Clifford
* Eliza
* Darcy
* Dave's patrons
* Sharon
* Camellia
* Dave
* White Faced Bear
* Thunder Children
* Nora
* Cletus and Remus
* Barbara Yaga

* Carl
* Oscar's journal
* Magic: White-Faced Bear
* Magic: Eliza

p510: typo fix

## Locations

* City lake
* Norman home
* Dave's Place

## Post chapter

Oscar's sleeping through Terminator 2, while his phone dries off in a bag of rice.

## Quotes

"You... have a beard."

"I do."

"How *old* are you?"
—Kevin has questions (p451)

"I'm twenty-five."

"Isn't that too old to be friends with my brother?"

"You know, I thought the same thing, but he wouldn't leave me alone. I locked all the doors and he just came in the window."

"What?! He does that here, too!"
—(p452)

"He thinks Mom doesn't know that he sneaks out his window at night, but I tell her!"

"No secrets for Kevin, got it."

"Huh? How come?"
—(p452)

"I'm Oscar."

"*You're* Oscar?"
—Carl has questions, too (p453)

"Carl, stop being weird! Mom knows Oscar. It's fine. I asked her last night and she said I could go if I did all my chores first. And they're done. So we're going."
—They're done, and Cliff's done (p454)

"Pff. Oz. Don't buy his shit. If he really thought you were trying to *hurt* me, he'd probably thank you and ask if he can get in line."

"What?"
—Now Oscar has questions (p455)

"He backs off when my Mom is around."
—This is maybe why Nora doesn't know (p456)

"I'm sorry..."

"Huh? For what?"

"It just... sucks that you have to deal with that."
—Clifford looking like he's never heard this from anyone (p456)

"I think her having your number is a good idea."

"Traitor. They just want my number so Darcy can text me werewolf questions all day."

"I won't! I'll be good!"
—You're not fooling anyone but yourself, Darcy (p458)

"Is that *the* girl?"

"There's a *the* girl?"

"What's her name? Hey, come back!"
—The worst day of Clifford's life (p460)

"We took it noodling, like we said! But something's real wrong over there! The fish were all action weird."

"They were just floating on top of the water, but they weren't dead."

"I poked one and it swam off!"

"Then there was a big boom and we ran back to the truck, and something had knocked it clear over! Something big!"
—Scoobies assemble! (p462)

"So, we're just going to head off into the woods in search of a giant monster? This isn't an episode of Scooby-Doo."

"Oh, come on, Shaggy! Don't you want to see the giant monster?"

"It's too early in the morning to flee for my life."
—Rules of Podunk: it's *never* too early in the morning to flee for your life (p464)

"It'll be fun!"

"If I die out here, my ghost will kill me."
—(p464)

"I'm sure those guys scared it into hiding. Even so, if it does pop up, I don't want anybody confronting it. Got it? *Clifford.*"

"'*Never have any fun, Clifford.*' Got it."
—(p465)

"He did the thing!"

"Yeah, he does that. Oh, wait. This is your first time seeing it."
—(p466)

"Thank you for keeping him. Now--"

"Hold on. I know that look. Let's appreciate from a distance for now."

"But... how will I know how soft he is?"

"Maybe someday."
—Eliza knows her Darcy (p466)

"All the river monsters were turned to stone a long time ago. I've never even seen one of these. But, this is one of the few monsters that can come from a human."

"And where do most monsters come from?"

"Animal people."
—Uh-oh (p467)

"So, think we'll get eaten by a monster?"

"Well, I won't."
—Clifford has a plan (p469)

"I'm between jobs at the moment."

"How do you pay for everything by yourself, though?"

"I have savings."

"*Savings*. For what?"

"A house. And a wedding ring."
—And Oscar has a backstory! (p470)

"We talked about it for awhile. Things didn't happen all at once but... we agreed. And I moved out. We met in college and getting married just seemed like the next thing we were supposed to do. Date. Get married. Have kids. Grow old. Die."
—(p471)

"We had both been dragging our feet, and then... something happened. And it made me think that I didn't want to get to the end and realize that I had just gone through the motions for my entire life. Maybe you won't get it, because you always do whatever you feel, but, I'm not like that. My whole life I just went along with what everyone thought I should be doing -- like a train on tracks, hitting all the stops on time. And I never thought about what I actually wanted. So, I got brave and derailed myself -- then stood around in the wreckage wondering *what now? Someone tell me what to do now.* I still don't know."
—Still a few things missing there we think, Oz (p472-p473)

"Why aren't you in any sports at school? You'd be a star player."

"And have everybody watching me? What if I messed up and showed the wolf? Plus, in high school sports you have to take a blood test and stuff. What if they could tell something is wrong with me?"
—(p475)

"What was all that stuff you said about *living?*"

"My *watery shenanigans* quota is actually quite full."

"That's not *no!*"

"*Hey!* That's-- *NO!*"

"Oops, too late!"
—Seizing the moment (p476)

"See! That was fun! And we're fine! You were just gonna do what you were told again, and miss out! If you want to live, then you gotta start living!"

(spwsh)

"Okay. Live a little less in my face."
—(p477)

"What was that?"

"Motivation!"
—The Podunk High swim coach's has dreams about this (p480)

"Mystery solved. It's a giant snake."
—Shaggy's on the ball (p483)

"Okay. Call Eliza."

"Um... I don't think that's going to work. My phone got wet when someone decided we needed to *carpe diem* into the lake."

"*Oh*."
—Slight catch with Clifford's plans, there (p483)

"I left my phone in the car with my jacket."
—Whose jacket, Clifford? (p484)

"Why are you pretending that this isn't a big deal? I broke your phone."

"It might still dry out. But, it was an accident. I'm not mad at you."

"*WHY NOT?*"
—(p486)

"Are... *you* mad at you? You're sixteen. You're going to make mistakes. *Lots* of them. Learning from them and trying to fix what you can is how you grow up. When I was sixteen, the scariest thing that happened to me was that Sarah Weatherman's dad caught us making out at her brother's bar mitzvah. So, you're dealing with a lot. Don't be so hard on yourself."
—Oscar the big brother (p488)

"Look, are you going to throw me in a lake again?"

"No."

"And are you going to listen to Eliza in the future?"

"... fine."
—That's not a *yes*, Clifford (p488)

"I honestly didn't think the snake would be *that* big."

"*Haha!* There's the pull quote! What a story! Everything here is, and I'll never be able to prove it."

"You wouldn't, though, right? Even if you could?"

"Hmm?"

"You wouldn't write about me in a newspaper?"

"What? No. No, I mean... I have thought about it, in an abstract way. Not about you, specifically, just, everything I've seen here. What it would feel like to get to reveal something like that to the world, with proof... what it could mean. But, I promised you. And Eliza."
—"Promise" is just one of those fine words Clifford told you off for, isn't it? (p489-p490)

"I used to be so *ambitious*. I was going to follow all the rules, have this big career -- be remembered for writing sentences nobody had ever read before."
—(p490)

"No! Dad, it's your fault!"
—Oscar's flashback (p496)

"Come on, buddy. Turn back into a person. I don't know CPR for dogs..."
—(p502)

"Ugh. I have werewolf loogie on my face..."

"Haha! You did it!"

"Did what?"

"That's a sentence nobody ever heard before!"

"Please don't let werewolf snot commentary be my opus."
—(p503)

"I know it was trying to eat us, but... it was just an animal. Wasn't it?"

"This was an unnatural thing -- we would have handled it the same, even if you two hadn't been in danger. But, when people jump into the tiger's cage -- it's the tiger who gets punished."
—(p504)

"What's going on?! Who is he and why does he keep messing with me? Why does he act like he knows me? I'm not a little kid! It's not fair to keep secrets about m--" KOFF KOFF KOFF KFF KOFF KFF
—(p508)

"I'm not keeping you in the dark about this on purpose. I don't know them, but I trust the White Faced Bear's reasons for keeping you a secret. He's been watching over you for as long as you've been in podunk. That's all I really know about his relationship to you. Maybe you need to talk to your mother about your father."

"That won't work."
—(p508)

"Well then, I guess you're just going to have to prove to the White Faced Bear that he can trust you. Which means no more running off the trail and jumping in the water when you're told not to."

"How'd you--"

"The spiders."
—Witches have snitches (p509)

"So, what was it?"

"An uktena. They grow from the bodies of people who allow their darker emotions to overcome them. Their breath is a noxious sedative. That's how it stunned all those fish. And, the crystal in its head is hypnotic -- if you look directly at it, it fills you with despair. People who look into it often surrender themselves."
—(p510)

"Okay, Clifford. We need to settle this phone number situation."

"What?! Can't hear you!"
—He's terrible (p513)

"Why do you hang out with him?"

"I don't know any other werewolves."
—(p514)

"Sit by me and let's talk about something."

"Oh, um..."

"You're not in trouble. What happened with you and Carl this morning?"

"*Oh.* He got all weird at Oscar, and was acting like he wasn't going to let me go. It was embarrassing."

"I'm sorry. I'll take the blame for this one. I didn't tell Carl that Oscar is older because I knew it could concern him. I wanted to give it more time. This kind of thing is scary for parents. He just wanted to protect you."

"That's what Oscar said."

"Then Oscar is right."
—The Nora Hudson Seal of Approval (p515-p516)

"I jumped in the lake! So what?"

"*Shew!* Go get cleaned up before dinner!"

"Aw, you don't want to hug me anymore?"

"*No!* Get away, you smelly creature!"
—(p517)

"Cliff... you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"I know."
—Nora doesn't know (p517-p518)

"Good boys. Come on. I got a home bone with your names on it."
—Part of caring for dog-boys is taking them for regular walks (p519)

"I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle."

"Oh, my. He's scary. Oscar...?"
—(p520)