Ex Girlfriend Tends To You

Ex Girlfriend arrives to collect her things but finds the listener has taken the day off of work.

## Transcript

Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd be here. I thought you'd going to be at work. Ah. Day off? Lucky you! Yeah, um... {laughs} this is really awkward. I- I just came to collect my things. Uh, yeah just- just to get the last of my stuff. Yeah. I'm sorry, I really didn't think you would be here. Honestly, please just, um- I can manage on my own, it's not a problem, I promise. Yeah, thank you though.

Hmm? Yeah, I- my sister, she's fine. Yeah. Thanks for asking. Look, um... I really appriciate what you're trying to do here, but... oh, you don't have to. You want to? Well, okay, maybe what I mean to say is perhaps it's not a good idea. Perhaps it's not a good idea to do all this talking. Just let me finish what I've came here to do and I'll get out of your way. Okay?

Besides, not to- not to be a dick or anything, I- I don't say it to be rude but you look very tired. So you should take it easy. I'll finish this on my own. Hmm? Are you okay? So, you're off work sick? You're taking a sick day? Ah, it's not a day off. You lied. Okay. You know this is hard for me too, right?

I think it would be best if you just sit in the other room and rest. I- I know you want to talk, but I don't want to see you suffering, and I don't want to suffer. No, I'm fine. Just my hayfever, it's that time of year, I... I uh... What do you mean how is Spenser? Don't! Please don't. There is nothing going on there.

You- you think we were looking pretty cozy on my Instagram story? Wow. Oh, my God. That would probably be because we're friends, remember? Am I dating him? Am I dating- are you seriously asking me that? Wow. I don't know what's wrong with you. I don't know what's wrong with you to say something like that. You think I'm {laughs} wow, I'm speechless. I'm speechless. You really think I would, what, jump on one of my friends just as soon as we are broken up? I think you know that's not the kind of woman I am.

You just think crazy stuff, really. There's nothing going on between- no. Did I cheat on you? My God, oh my God. This is the kind of insecurity that is the reason we broke up. I- I {sighs} I'd never cheat on you in a million years. I'd never cheat on you. There's nothing going on there. Listen, I- you- you can't just sit here and pretend you are the only one who is suffering and that you are some kind of victim, okay? This is not easy for me either. God forbid I spend some time with my friends to try and... pass the time, right? Instead of wallowing at home like you are.

I should think you're sorry. I should think you are, I should think you are. Cheat on you? Fucking idiot. No, just- don't touch me, don't touch me. Don't touch me. Just because you think about me a lot it doesn't mean we're meant to be together, okay? I- I do, I love you very much. I do, we already talked about this. I love you very much, I just... I just can't anymore. I'm not seeing anyone. No, I'm not seeing anyone, I just want some time alone. Okay?

Yeah, my sister's fine. Yeah, we're friends and all. We get on okay, I mean I would rather {laughs} I would rather I would still living here, but no I can't. No I can't. I don't want to live with you anymore. I'm sorry. No, you're not awful to live with, you're not- you're not awful to live with, I just- I can't be around you right now. No, I need some time. What good is it asking me if I miss you? What do you want me to say? It's going to hurt your feelings either way, so it's better not to ask questions like that.

Hmm? You went out on a date? Wow, good for you. Stop following me, please just let me pack my things and go. Because I don't particularly care to hear about you going on a date. No, I don't. I don't. Because you're obviously trying to upset me, or make me jealous or something weird like that. It's stupid. Yeah, it's stupid. Because we're not fucking fourteen. We're not kids anymore, stop it. You look silly. You do, you look ridicul- no, you look ridiculous, Becauase you're trying to make me jealous or upset me, oh you've been on a date! Meanwhile you're literally taking days off work saying you're sick when you're really at home crying over me.

Yeah. Yeah no, I'm going to get my stuff and I'll go. No, you go lie down or something, or take some vitamin C, or I don't know. Just because I don't want to be with you anymore doesn't mean I don't care about you. Just go and lie down, okay? What do you mean? Well maybe you're tired because you've been refusing to sleep in the bed! You've been sleeping on the sofa the entire time since I've moved out. That's not good for you, you can sleep in the bed. It's not haunted just because I'm not in it.

You're so silly. No, please don't. Don't make me do that. {sighs} Fine, fine, fine yes. Get in bed. Get in the bed. There. Is it better now that I'm next to you? Close your eyes. You must be exhausted, you've not slept for a long time. Hmm? Yeah, I'm tired too. No, I'm not going to sleep. I know it's hard now, but we'll figure this life stuff out somehow, eventually. Yeah. Just... just let yourself rest for now. No, when you wake up I won't be here, but that's for the best. I'll take my things and I'll be quiet when I leave, so you won't wake up. And when you do wake up, it will be like I was never here, and you can forget.

## Fun Facts

### Trivia

* It is revealed that Ex Girlfriend has a sister and a male friend named Spenser.