Helping Hand

**Helping Hand** is episode 143a of Edward and Eric. It premiered on Kids' WB on February 18, 2006.

## Synopsis

Mr. Goodman discovers Principal Walker failed a test back in kindergarten. As a result, Walker must repeat kindergarten, otherwise he will face Superintendent Strict's fury and get fired.

## Cast (WIP)

* Mike Pollock as Principal Walker
* Andrew Rannells as Edward
* Gary Sauls as Mr. Goodman
* Eric Stuart as Superintendent Strict
* Veronica Taylor as Osborne

## Trivia

* Although this episode premiered in 2006, it was produced in 2005 according to the copyright date at the end of the credits.
* **Credits:** Walker getting run over by numerous vehicles.

## Transcript

(The episode begins outside of Walker's office. We hear the shower in his personal restroom turning off)

**Principal Walker:** GOODMAN! (his head peeks out of the bathroom's door) Aren't you supposed to have given me a towel by now?!

**Mr. Goodman:** (stacking papers) I'm just arranging your mail, sir.

(Suddenly, one of the papers he unknowingly takes out is a report card. He takes a glance at it before heading to the bookshelf and grabbing a book out of it)

**Principal Walker:** Goodman, the hairy backwoods of my rear are freezing! What are you doing?! Can't you see I'm damp and exposed?

**Mr. Goodman:** (hands him a towel) Oh, sorry, sir. (flips through the book's pages, and then he looks at the report card) But, uhh, we seem to have a problem. You failed a test back in kindergarten. (he holds up the test)

(On the paper, it is asking to find for x on a triangle. It is shown that Walker took it literally by circling the letter X and writing down "Here it is")

**Principal Walker:** (now wearing the towel around his waist) Yeah, so what's the big deal?

**Mr. Goodman:** That means your grade point average is void by one point, sir. You have to redeem that point, otherwise Superintendent Strict will find out and terminate your job.

**Principal Walker:** Just steal a test from the kindergartners here and draw an "A+" on it!

**Mr. Goodman:** No can do, sir.

**Principal Walker:** Oh, pshaw. It's not my fault the country's education system is nothing more than judging a fish based on its ability to climb a tree.

**Mr. Goodman:** (deadpan) Welcome to modern day America, sir.

**Principal Walker:** And besides, how is that old windbag ever gonna find out?

**Mr. Goodman:** Well, uhh, I would have to tell him, sir.

**Principal Walker:** Whatever. You wouldn't do that, right, Goodman?

(Beat. Goodman ponders)

**Principal Walker:** (worried) Goodman?!

**Mr. Goodman:** I'm sorry, sir. If I never inform him, I'll have to face drastic consequences as well.

**Principal Walker:** How can I make up for it?!

**Mr. Goodman:** You'll have to repeat kindergarten.

**Principal Walker:** REPEAT KINDERGARTEN?!?!?!?!?!?!?

(Cut to an outside shot of the school)

**Principal Walker:** ***NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!***

(Camera immediately cuts to him slamming the front door down, fully dressed and holding a briefcase)

**Mr. Goodman:** What are you doing, sir?

**Principal Walker:** I am simply too valuable to waste away at this miserable excuse for a school!

**Mr. Goodman:** (attaches the door back to its hinges) Um, sir? (catches up with him)

**Principal Walker:** The real world needs someone with my can-do spirit and impeccable intellect!

**Mr. Goodman:** (in front of him) But, sir, why leave when you could simply stay, repeat kindergarten, and be done with it?

**Principal Walker:** Because a real man in the cold, harsh world doesn't need a dead-end job at a school to have themselves defined, no matter how many times the mothers of America say "Oh no, if you don't put yourself in four more years of school that are just a money trap, you'll end up working at MacDouglas'!"

**Mr. Goodman:** Sir, that's not how college-

**Principal Walker:** (leaving through the gates) Goodbye, Lakeside City School, ya old pile of cement. Real world, here I-

(Suddenly, he gets run over by an eighteen-wheeler)

**Mr. Goodman:** Sir!

**Principal Walker:** (weakly stands back up) Just one of the many hazards of the real world, Goodman. Right next to childbirth and debts. (honking is heard) Here, a man must pick himself up and-

(He gets hit by, ironically enough, an ambulance)

**Mr. Goodman:** Sir, wouldn't it be easier to just repeat kindergarten?

**Principal Walker:** (his body is completely flattened) Easier? Yes, Goodman. But not what a man would do.

(An SUV runs him over)

**Mr. Goodman:** Yes, but I'm not sure if you're cut out for the real world, sir!

**Principal Walker:** Cut out for it, eh?! Why, tailor-made is more like it!

(He gets run over by a bus, and he yelps in pain)

**Principal Walker:** (stars circling his head) That one actually hurt a little.

**Mr. Goodman:** Please reconsider, sir.

(We hear Walker getting run over again, and he screams bloody murder. As an elephant is heard, he screams louder. Then, the camera focuses on him getting run over by an entire parade. A crowd cheers, until a meteor falls from the sky and lands on Walker, resulting in a colossal explosion)

(The smoke clears)

**Principal Walker:** (dazed) Goodman?

**Mr. Goodman:** (somehow, he is completely unscathed; he advances towards him) Sir?

**Principal Walker:** Let's just get this done.

(The ice cream truck from earlier reverses into him, and he screams even louder than before. It drives away)