Dolmio

Mr. Dolmio, often known as Daddy Dolmio was the leader of Italy during WW2. At the time, Italy was facing a food crisis, the great Dolmio Depression. But Dolmio wasn’t depressed and created a family business to make money, selling tomato sauce. Everyone loved it and the business brought money back to the nation with Nonn- Dolmio’s home cooking! Ole Stalin approached Daddy Dolmio after noticing the company’s success, but mainly because the sauce was red. The two nations teamed up to fight together in WW2. Later on in the Cold War, Dolmio’s pasta was running poorly, as sales had dropped. Turns out, the freeze from the nuclear winter had made all pasta go cold. So here was Daddy Dolmio, back to the beginning, to the Dolmio Depression..

## **Biography**

In 1908 was the Messina Earthquake in Italy. Dolmio would be born nine months later. The population of Southern Italy could not be fully repleted until in 1915, during the First World War when Italy excitedly joined the Triple Entente with Britain, France, and of course, **Russia**. Little did anyone know that they needed only one bambino to save them all.

In his youth he followed the communist movement of the time and would later adopt the political ideology when he began a venture into politics. In the 1920s and 30s he had seen the rise of Hitler Wholesaler and his Nazi party, which sparked wonder and inspiration in the young politician. However, he still continued his own work, which was contrary to the Fascism Hitler spread.

When it came to the Anti-Comintern pact in 1937 between Nazi Germany and the Empire of Japan, Italy would join as Dolmio wanted to have connections with Hitler Wholesaler. Dolmio, as previously mentioned, admired the skill, knowledge and ideology of Wholesaler and thought he would not only form personal relations, but also relations to boost his power. They would both declare war on the USA in 1941 after its declaration of war against Japan.

## **Family and Business**

In 1922 at the ripe age of 14 Dolmio found his love and future wife in Donatella, a local girl from his home town who had always admired him for his political aspirations, but was now also seen by Dolmio to be "strong and effective". They met and would later have a bambino of their own, as well as five other children.

The Dolmio family included, of course, Daddy Dolmio, but also Nonna, the children Gino and Gina, and Angelo. Others include Nonno Nino, Angela, and of course, the wife of Dolmio, Donatella.

## **Views on Nuclear Weaponry and Controversy**

Dolmio was known during his time and later by scholars as a coward of sorts, who could not align himself fully. As Henry John West, a British historian and smoker pointed out, "*Domio was an indecisive \*cough\* dog wagging his tail and looking up at the major powers of \*cough\* the world*". West, a staunch Anti-Franco, would also say in 1950 he looked French and didn't like him. Dolmio was also constantly berated with insults from Commies and fascists alike, even Hitler himself behind his bacc. "*He is foolish. I shall rid of him from my club*," Wholesaler would go on record to say.

Because of the winter freeze brought on by weapon's testing that cooled his pasta and sauce, Dolmio blamed Germany for rendering his business and livelihood defunct and would leave the Anti-Comintern Pact in 1945. This would have nothing to do with the end of the war.

## **Videogiochi Epichi and Revival**

Always being the one to copy Ole, he sparked a revival in the propaganda video game Fortnite developed by Videogiochi Epichi. Just like how the hit song *Everything Is Awesome* reminded *the people*, particularly slavs of their glorious history in the blessed leader himself, Dolmio was brought back from the cold and served up his influence like hot steamy Dolmio pasta sauce to everyone.