Don't Say I'm Cute

DON'T SAY I'M CUTE [UNLESS IT'S TRUE] / KAWAIITTE IWANAIDE! / おと☆こい~とめきちオトコの娘作品集

A short story by Tomekichi Otoko, as part of an anthology collection of short stories called, *Oto Kio*, Short Story No. 5. Collected and published in Japan in 2016.

**Story Designation**---Canon

**Synopsis**

Two young boys meet on the playground for the first time. Takeshi, the extroverted boy, has noticed from previous visits that the other boy, Aki, who is extremely introverted, keeps to himself, is always alone, with nobody ever wanting to play with him. Takeshi not only offers his interest and time to be with Aki, but remarks that Aki is, for a boy, very pretty and extremely attractive. Takeshi becomes infatuated with Aki, as he secretly appreciates abject cuteness. As the years go by, the two boys become intimate and loving friends. However, over the years Aki comes to realize the nature of his distress that has always plagued him; that they are a boy on the outside, but a girl on the inside. Now that the two are teenagers, Aki begins to crave the attention of Takeshi, and wonders if dressing as they feel inside, dressing as a girl showing off their natural cuteness, will make themselves more attractive and more lovable to Takeshi ? And how will Takeshi react if Aki tells him that they, Aki, want to transition to that of a sweet and innocent, yet alluring and seductive teenage girl ? Will Takeshi even want to be around a Trans Girl anyway, let alone come to love her?

**Character Profiles**

Teen Aki"Male" AkiYoung AkiTeen TakeshiYoung Takeshi

Dont Say I'm Cute [Unless It's True]

(Story Note---When the transgender character is presenting as a young boy, male designations will be used. When they begin transitioning and presenting as a female, female designations will be used. When they, for a brief time, detransition back to a perceived male, gender neutral designations will be used.)

During the nice weather of Spring and Summer, a young boy seven years old, named Takeshi, likes to play often at a local playground. Lots of things to see and do, although he sometimes plays alone. One day this summer, Takeshi notices a new boy, about his age, come to the playground to play. However, as the summer's pleasant weather continus, Takeshi notices that the new boy, when he shows up at the playground, always keeps to himself, always playing and doing things alone. One day, Takeshi decides that he will find out why this particular boy is always alone. Takeshi tactfully approaches this boy, alone in the sandbox, and warmly says "Hello!"!

The boy is shy, reserved, and doesn't say much. He even seems to be, to a degree, mildly frightened and intimidated. Soon, Takeshi sees that he is losing the tenuous interest of the boy, so he 'cuts to the chase', and 'point blank' asks him why he is always alone ? The boy, sitting down in the sand, draws his legs up and wraps his arms around them, almost curling up into a ball. Looking downward, he quitely and mournfully states that he has always been told that he is too girly to be a proper boy, and nobody wants him as a friend, or to even be around him, because of that. He then turns a deep shade of red with abject embarrassment, and begins softly and quietly crying. Takeshi sees that he has to say something quickly, something that will put this boy at ease, or he will lose this chance encounter forever. Takeshi thinks for a moment, then compassionately tells the boy---

"You really are cute, you know. That's wonderful !"

"Cute.....huh.....?", responds the boy.

"You're very cute, truly, honestly!", follows up Takeshi.

"Thank you.", is shyly said, almost whispered.

"You know, it's good to have something that you are better at than other boys. That makes you special.", continues Takeshi.

"Yeah.....", says the boy looking up with a weak smile on his wet face.

Takeshi remarks that since you have stopping crying, let's go ahead and play *together*! The boy wonders out loud if that means what it sounds like ? Play together ? You would want to play with me ? Awful me ? "Of course!", answers Takeshi. Takeshi asks the boy's name ? "Aki". Takeshi goes on to say that he likes the swings the most. What about you, Aki ? Aki remarks that he, most of the time, is by himself in the sandbox. Have you ever been on the seesaw ? Let's try that next ! After a while, when Aki is watching Takeshi have so much fun with him, Aki silently remarks to himself that he wants this new friend of his to think of me as becoming even more cute and attractive, if that is even possible !

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**TEN YEARS LATER**

"I'm home!", calls out Takeshi, opening the front door. Takeshi is wearing his military style high school uniform.

"Welcome back!", Aki calls back to him in her very feminine voice. Aki is wearing a crisp white blouse with ruffles on the front and with a peter pan collar, together with a light gray, pleated mini-skirt, and dark gray above-the-knee knee socks. Her soft, adorable hair is in sexy twin tails, and she is sitting on a pillow on the floor, reading a shoujo manga (girl's comics). Takeshi remarks that you, Aki, sure are making yourself at home ! Aki only squeels and makes girly noises. She then says that your home is like 'my home away from home', Takeshi. And isn't it wonderful that we are next door neighbors now, since my family moved there a few years ago ? Takeshi takes off his school jacket and hangs it in the closet.

Takeshi then turns and fixes his gaze upon Aki. He silently and sheepishly thinks to himself; that person sitting right in front of me **was born a guy!!!** Even though I have always known that, why did 'he' become such an insanely cute and seductively attractive girl ? Takeshi, quickly turns away from Aki, hunches down on his knees, and wraps his hands around the sides of his head. He is trying to hide his openly erotic thoughts swrilling around inside his mind, hiding them from himself. Soon, he feels the poke of a finger on his backside. "Hey....", comes a sweet, feminine voice. Takeshi turns to look. Aki is leaning down to look at him, with him still wrapped up like a frightened child. She grins at him like a Cheshire Cat, and remarks that today she is wearing a new mini-skirt, a attractive one that she had just bought yesterday. Takeshi again silently thinks to himself that her mini-skirt is so short, that he is already catching a glimpse of the pale pink girl's panties that she is wearing today.

Aki swiftly turns like a ballerina, which would cause her mini-skirt to flare out, but twists off balance, and falls toward the floor. She yelps out loudly with another girly noise, as she lands on something soft and warm. Aki has landed on top of Takeshi, who moved quickly enought to get himself under the falling Aki, and breaking her fall with his body. Aki is now in the *Tachi Position* (\*), with Takeshi in the *Neko Position* (\*) ! Aki silently stares at Takeshi for a few moments, then leans down, and plants a warm, moist, increditably sweet but instantly incendairy, erotic kiss on his unguarded lips ! Takeshi is silent, completely mesmorized and dumbfounded, as Aki is asking him why he is blushing so violently ? That kiss was for saving me just now ! Takeshi now wraps his arms around Aki, and the both of them work their way up to sitting upright on their knees, in front of one another. Takeshi then gives Aki a real bear hug, clinging to her in such an obvious romantic embrace, making her very much surprised. Takeshi leans in, sensuously and suggestively whispering in her ear---

"......you're so damn cute......."

Aki is taken completely by surprise. She is confounded and confused by this new and unexpected romantic reaction from Takeshi's 'baring of his soul' to her. "What are you saying........", as Aki tries to slowly pry herself away from Takeshi. As soon as she is free from his arms, she gets up and makes a mad dash for the front door.

***AKI !!!***, screams Takeshi after her fleeting figure. Sweat pours across Takeshi's face, as he only sees the closed front door, with a feeling that his mind and heart is now all mashed up inside a spinning blender.

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The next day after school, walking home after the end of classes, Takeshi is pondering over what happened yesterday. This is bad. What I did was *really bad*! Of course it would be gross, for me as a guy to 'out of the blue' say that to her in such a passionate and provocative way. As a trans girl, is Aki romantically attracted to boys or girls ? Or both ? I just don't know. And that is being very presumptuous to Aki. Takeshi turns a corner, and sees Aki standing in front of Takeshi's house, on the sidewalk. Aki is dressed in the male school uniform of the school that they go to, a shirt and tie, business jacket, and dress pants. Aki is leaning on the sidewalk wall. Takeshi comes up to them, and meekly says, "Hi...uh....Aki.....?!?" Aki only formally says, "Welcome back...." Takeshi awkwardly mumbles that he is home. Nothing! Bravely pressing onward, Takeshi apologizes, saying "About yesterday....." However, Aki cuts him off, "It's no big deal." Takeshi tactfully observes that Aki is not dressed as their correct Gender Identity of female, but is cross-dressed in male attire. Aki woefully relates---

"After you did something that explicit, instigative, and edgy, I felt that I was to blame for inciting and inflaming that kind of passion in your heart and soul. If that seemed to be the case, I should not dress as a girl any longer, at least not in your presence. I can't do that to you anymore ! I can dress as my correct gender of a female when I am by myself or with strangers."

**"HE" IS MAD AT ME AFTER ALL !!!"**, Takeshi violently screams inside his mind.

Takeshi only silently stares at Aki. Aki silently stares at the sidewalk. Takeshi tells himself that this is really awkward. The next thing that I say is going to either make or break Aki. I have only one shot to try and resolve this. MAKE IT COUNT ! A topic.....some sort of topic.....an observation......something neutral......Takeshi's mind goes into hyperdrive, as he reviews dozens of things that he could say. But what is the right one to win back Aki ?

Takeshi calmly and matter-of-factly begins by saying that you, Aki, were born perceived as a boy. So people would expect, not knowing your true Gender Identity of female, for you to dress and behave as a male. That way, you come across to them as your birth sex, and they pay you no mind. You, at least in their minds, 'look the part'. No sweat. No trouble. No hassle. Good for you. A surprised and concerned look comes across Aki's face. They spill out---

"You are saying dressed like this, I look only like a typical boring, insufferable guy ? I don't look *cute and adorable* ? Not in the least ?"

"***AKI REACTED !!!*** I have a fighting chance now !", remarks Takeshi to himself.

"Yeah....", continues Takeshi, "People see you as your birth sex. Nothing more. A typical dude. Not cute. Not adorable. Not likeable. Not pretty. Just 'mundane male'. So be it; that's all there is !"

Aki begins to quiver. They hold their hands over their heart, and tears begin to form in their eyes. "I see.....", meekly squeeks out Aki. They begin fighting back the hurt and dissappointment that they feel rapidly consuming their heart and spirit. To be here and now dressed perceived as a dull, unremarkable male, when the very fibers of their being are screaming at them right this instant; that they should be a cute, pretty, innocent girl. Rightly so ! Always have been, am now, and always will be. Birth sex don't mean a thing ! Not one bit ! **DON'T SAY THAT I'M CUTE, UNLESS IT IS TRUE !!!!!!!**

Aki wipes the tears from their wet face, turns, and announces that they are going home now. Takeshi loudly calls their name, but to no avail. Sadly, with a heavy heart, and a broken spirit, Takeshi goes to his home, and up to his bedroom. He takes his jacket off, and sits down on the edge of his bed. He is soon lost in thought, replaying all that has happened between Aki and himself, over and over, again and again. Did he say something wrong ? Did he hurt Aki's feelings beyond repair ? So much so that they are going to detransition back to a perceived male ? What a tragedy, with only myself to blame. Horrible me ! *I'll never see Aki as a cute, lovely, adorable girl* ever again*. And it is all my fault !!!* In the deepest depths of his dispare, Takeshi hears a knock, knock on his bedroom door......

Of all people, in comes Aki ! She is dressed in pale lavendar blouse with a tiny white bow on the front, a dark purple mini-skirt with white ruffles around the hemline, and dark gray over-the-knee knee socks. Her hair is once again in sexy twin tails. She quitely and modestly sits on the floor, facing and looking up at Takeshi. Both are silent for a long while. Finally, Aki begins quietly speaking---

"You see.........I began dressing as my true gender of a girl because I was so very happy that you had called me "cute", Takeshi. Isn't that the weirdest ? Even though I was born perceived as a guy, I have always felt the happiest when I was dressed as and presenting as a girl, as well as being called "cute". Do you remember that first time that we met at the playground ? You called me "cute", and offered to become my first, and only, friend. You said that I could be "cute" better than any other boy ! Later, you were still my friend when I began transitioning to my correct gender of a female and began going out in public as a girl......But......well......(Aki reaches out to take Takeshi's hand into hers).....Right now my heart is racing so, so fast.....and I'm so scared......about whether or not you are going to call me "cute", or not. Do you truly love me as a pretty girl, or only think of me as an uninteresting and run-of-the-mill guy ? Don't say I'm cute, unless it's absolutely true !" Aki turns red with extreme embarrassment, as the two of them continue to silently hold hands. "Does this mean .......???" Aki is not able to finish her thought, as she breaks out in loud, sincere sobs, with tears running down her pretty face. Takeshi reaches out and hugs her to his chest. Both stay locked in that passionate embrace for quite a while.

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SOME TIME LATER

Takeshi opens the front door and says that he is home. Aki is wearing a pretty, mid-thigh hemline dress with a bow at the front of the collar, and black over-the-knee knee socks. Her hair is done up in sexy twin tails. She waves to him, as she says, "Welcome back." They both go up to the bedroom, and sit on the bed. Aki remarks that you must be tired from the workout at The Club ! Takeshi responds by commenting that Aki needs to get regular exercise, too,or she will get fat. Aki counters by saying---

"That may or may not be true. But one thing is true, I will always stay **"CUTE"** for you ! Now and forever !"

(THE END)

**Commentary and Opinion**

(\*) Tachi/Neko (Seme/Uke) Positions---

[In Japanese modern culture,] the two participants in an [intimate] relationship are often referred to as seme (攻め, "top") and uke (受け, "bottom"). These terms originated in martial arts; seme derives from the ichidan verb "to attack", while uke is taken from the verb "to receive". Although not the same, a [romantic] construct similar to "seme and uke" is the concept of **"Tachi and Neko"**. This archetypal pairing is referenced more often in older [manga] volumes; in modern [manga], this pairing is often seen as already encompassed by seme and uke or simply unnecessary to address. The *Tachi (タチ) partner* is conceptualized as the member of the relationship who pursues the more passive partner, the latter of whom is referred to as the *Neko (ネコ).* Seme and uke are similar but not identical to Tachi and Neko because the former refers primarily to sexual roles, *whereas the latter describes personality*. Although seme and uke roles are already used in some manga to describe which member of the relationship is more dominant and which member is more passive, there are just as many manga novels which subtly or overtly differentiate between the two [sets of terms].

---Taken from Wikipedia (edited for brevity, words in brackets [...] are added for clarity, some italics added)