FRD Website Archive/Letters/2006

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Dear Free Radical,

Please please pleeeeze put in the gingerbread man into haze. He could be a soldier just put him in green combat clothes and he can shoot everyone and say all the funniest stuff and crazy stuff!!!!!!

How about the duckman too? He WROOCKED!!
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#### R107 Says

Why didn't anyone demand a duck in Second Sight? Does everything have to have freaks in it? Saints preserve me.
Spend a few days in Derby, and you'll get your fill of malformed weirdoes. Believe me.

P.S: You stink.

Dear Free Radical,
I have an idea for a weapon that you have to use. Basically it is a huge grenade that you fire from a tube on your arm. It makes a huge explosion that takes out anything in its way!! It is called the X-bombade.####

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#### R107 Says

So, a grenade launcher then. Pleb.

Dear Free Radical,

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Confidentiality assured

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1-206-350-XXXX
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#### R107 Says

Our entire company is very interested in becoming doctors. Some of us already claim to be, and perform amateur surgery during lunch, but an official 'PhD' from one of your non-accredited universities would make us more credible.
We are concerned, however, that providing us with diplomas based on our 'present knowledge and life experience' would mean that some of us are only eligible for a degree in eating chocolate and smelling of old sweat. That said, a qualification in Home Economics is better than nothing.

Here are our bank details. Send us degrees.

BANK: ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND
ACC. NO: XXXX-XXXX-XX
SORT CODE: XX-XX-XX
EX. DATE: 09/08

Dear Free Radical,

On TimeSplitters2 and TimeSplitters: Future Perfect, there is the BEST Techno Music I have ever heard. I especially like 'LIKE A ROBOT' on TimeSplitters: Future Perfect. Now my only concern in life is that get that song on MP3 or any other electronic music format. If someone outside from the Free Radical Team has created this song, can you please give me details on how I can contact that person/company.

 With many great regards
- Jimmy
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#### R107 Says

Dear 'Jimmy',
So, the long and the short of it is that you want something for free? Is that about right? Sweet baby Jesus. It's people like you who suck our benefits system dry. It makes me sick to my bowels.

P.S: We'll be making music from the games downloadable for free on the site some time soon.

 P.P.S: Any praise for the music and sound should be directed to 'Freckleface Beefburger'.

Dear Free Radical,

Hey there R107. I am a robot just like you. Will there be robots in your next game?

 - Mr. Robot
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#### R107 Says

Dear Mr. Robot,
You have failed to read the introduction to the letters page. I'm not a 'robot'. I'm an employee at Free Radical who has been forced to answer our emails.

 Christ. I bet you watch 'Two and a Half Men' and enjoy it.

Hey R107,

I love you guys and you make AAA+++ games all the time. Now that I've done the requisite 'greasing' (which I guess even fauxbots need once in a while) ...

1. The remark about putting jumping in the game (see FAQ) was sarcastic, right?
2. Will the vehicles in the game be controlled like the ones in Halo, or like the brilliant controls for the TS:FP vehicles?
3. Will there be any split-screen modes?
4. Will you retain the aim mode for us legacy-types?
5. If yes to Q4, could you also include an option for us to shrink its bounds?
6. Actually, could you just give us options for pretty much every feature in the game?

Thanks for everything!

(But mostly for TS:FP).

 - Jeremy [SteamBot]
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#### R107 Says

Dear Jeremy,
Thanks for the greasing. I normally do that when I'm watching 'Friday Night With Jonathan Ross'.

To answer your queries:

1. It was both factual and sarcastic. Like Jo Brand. Except funny.
2. They will drive in many directions. How? Time will tell.
3. There's definitely co-op. Split screen, maybe.
4. Anything's possible.
5. Maybe.
6. There is a 100% chance of that maybe.

 Vague enough for you? Welcome the world of games development.

Dear Free Radical,

Who are the staff that carried over from Rare and why did they leave? I'm glad they did, just interested.

Also, I require a picture of Gretel from Future Perfect I can't seem to find one anywhere on the web and uploading my own would take... my own time, I was hoping you could do it for me.

 Patrick
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#### R107 Says

Dear Patty,

They were:

1. Dr. David 'Double D' Doak - SPECIAL POWER: Going on holiday for months at a time.
2. Steve 'Tin Man' Ellis - SPECIAL POWER: Crushing a piece of coal into a diamond with his mechanical hands.
3. Karl 'Playboy' Hilton - SPECIAL POWER: Controlling ghasias with his mind.
4. Graeme 'Beefburger' Norgate - SPECIAL POWER: Getting to the toilet in time.

They left because someone changed the locks. Still, it worked out all right in the end.

Also, with regards to your picture request: you are a lazy ass.

Hi,

first: Timesplitters 2 and 3 are my favourite games, and hell, i played lots of games...
i like the haze trailer, hope it will be as awesome as it seems to be

however, i saw it's not coming out for Nintendos Wii (that's by the way the reason i won't buy the Wii) and u made this poll about "your favourite console" or something
Wii won with more than 90% as far as i remember
isn't that a bit disturbing?

 greetings
Kukident
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#### R107 Says

Dear Kukident,

Yes. It proves that a load of Nintendo fanboys vote in the polls here.

hi r-107,

ive played the game and thoght it was great but you where rubish no offence i still think your cool

 Jake
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#### R107 Says

Dear Jake,

No offence, but your spelling and grammar are worse than those of a feral child with a Vitamin B deficiency.

Dear Free Radical,

Your web-page is awesome! Its so awesome that I kept laughing about how awesome it is and the fact I'm laughing! Its so awesome that I submitted not one, but two Emails!! Holy Crap! I've never done that before! Anyways cool webpage, keep up the good work and make a Timesplitters spinoff series with one of the characters...

Dean
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#### R107 Says

Dear Dean,

Great to hear from you again. What have you been doing since your last email four minutes ago? Tell me everything!

Dear Free Radical,

Ahhh, Second Sight, what a delicious game. It is so delicious that... its good. Anyways when the heck will Second Sight have a sequel? It had an awesome story. Maybe it could be on the Wii so I can fling thing like toilet with accuracy? Come on R107, my favorite Ts character(because Crispin can't answer Emails),tell me already!

 Dean
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#### R107 Says

Dear Dean,

We wanted to do a sequel where you could use the powers of telekinesis to squeeze the bowels of enemy soldiers and make them sh\*t in their pants. But an unnamed toy company threatened to sue because that’s the same mechanic they have planned for their Christmas range of dolls. Goodbye.

R107,

(did they give you that avatar because he resembles you most in real life? If so, its a worry)

Any chance of a TS game being released with all the best bits from the series jam packed into one tasty morsel? Plus it being made online playable while you guys drag your asses over the next gen chuff that wont be out for ages?

Also who is responsible for creating all the kerazy funny things that the characters say when you select them? Give that person an orange they did good.

Why did Virus have the really irritating bug in TSFP online and keep booting people out of games for no reason?

Plus why did the monkey gun not fire monkeys?!?! A huge let down there.

Get on the case.

-Lyaceus
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#### R107 Says

Dear Lya,

Yes, of course. Why don't we just make a whole new game out of several old games, while we're busy working on a whole new game? Why not?

As for the hilarious content of previous games: the guy who came up with all those funny things has left. That's why HAZE is a nightmarishly mirthless tale of wartime horrors.

Also, for your information, I look like Tackleberry from Police Academy.

As for your other questions, I literally cannot be bothered to answer them.

Sincerely,

R-107

Dear Free Radical,

I'm just tossing my luck & hoping that you might be able to answer my 2nd letter ( no worries, I'm not annoyed ).
First of all, you guys rock! TS future perfect is definetely my favourite game,it's RADICAL ! just got N'2 off ebay.
Is there any way I can wright to that guy, um Frecklface beefburger?
And oh, if you want to make a sweet boy's heart leap, pleeease bring TS4out on ps2. I will buy it if it does no matter what ( then you'll be able to buy some circuit upgrades ).
( and by the way, the idea of making soldiers sh\*t in their pants was pretty good )
Good luck and keep up the good work.
Hey what about a game called " The amazing adventures of Captain Ash ?
James 110.9
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#### R107 Says

Dear James,

Freckleface Beefburger does not have the time to go through all his fanmail. He is too busy watching the chicken scene from Animal Farm over and over again. However, I can forward a message on to him.

Also, thanks to your suggestion, we are now working on a game called 'The Amazing Adventures of Captain Ash'. It's a slapstick rhythm-action domestic abuse game.

Sincerely,

R-107

Yo R-107,

If that is your real name, (which it clearly isnt),
I'm a longtime free radical fan, got hooked on timesplitters 2, went back and bought one, then bought three the day it came out, played all for many many many hours, recently bought second sight, also an amazing game, and i had a few requests/suggestions/questions.

1. Will you make a timesplitters 4?
2. Can you cut the Bull\*\*\*\* about playing through the same timezones as in future perfect and give us more time zones, like in ts2?
3. Will you make a medieval level?
4. can you make the aol guy a character or is that copyright infringment?
5. stop trying to be halo. future perfect was too much like halo, which was a clear influence. People loved timesplitters 2 for what it was, the greatest shooter of all time.
6. MORE WEAPONS! weapons rule.
7. less blood or no blood. While i must say it was fun to see zombies heads explode with blood when you blow them off point blank range with a shotgun, i know several people, (4 to be exact) who werent allowed to buy future perfect because it was M.
8. More multi player arcade modes. The ones missing from timesplitters 2 made me play timesplitters 2 more than 3. Flame tag ruled.

Anyway, keep up the great work! you guys rule, (and if there are any girls that work there, you rule too. Especially the hot ones.)
Adios man, have a great summer or whatever season it is over there in ingle land

-Nate Day
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#### R107 Says

Dear Nate,

1. Maybe one day. But it ain't gonna be soon.
2. Ask me again in 2009.
3. See above.
4. Good grief. I'm glad you're not our lawyer.
5. Halo? Never heard of it.
6. Yes. They rule.
7. The blood was there to create a realistic experience of shooting the undead in the snort pipes.
8. Speak to you in 2009.

There are no girls here. Twenty toilets - all men only.

Sincerely,

R-107

Dear R107,

I really love the music you guys have for your TS series, and i wish there was a soundtrack for your games, do you guys at Free Radical Design have one or am i not looking hard enough for it?

-Nick
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#### R107 Says

Dear Nick,

You really aren't looking hard enough at all. The tracks are on this website.

Pleb.

Sincerely,

R-107

Hi,

 I'm 16 and I've been working with maya for around a year, just finishing a Btec course in film and game animation. [Gotta wait till the teacher finishes his holiday] and I was wondering what I would need to do to become involved in the game making process. I know maya would help a lot, although I've got a lot to learn still. I feel I have really good ideas for games and can't wait to get making them into reality. I just want to know where I should go from here, what I should do? Games are my life, since I first played Mario, I've been through many consoles and can't wait for the PS3 and Wii. Hope you can help and hopefully I'll be working for you guys one day. Love all your games and Haze looks great. From Tony####

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#### R107 Says

Well Tony, my boy. You might just be in luck. Get yourself down to 'Free Radical's Gong of Terror' at GameCity at the end of October. It's an opportunity for the likes of you to pitch us with your game ideas, and win an internship in our studio. You'd better hurry up though - places are limited. Go to www.gamecity.org and ask them how to get involved. I warn you though, it ain't for the faint of heart.

Dear Free Radical,

how come jocob crow says rosebud ehn he dies ps is ts 4 on its way - Disco Stu
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#### R107 Says

He says it because you are an uncultured moron who needs to watch Citizen Kane.

Hi R107,

Timesplitters Future Perfect rules. It is better than Halo. I hope you guys keep up the fantastic work. I have a question as well my dumb friend thinks you guys are using the Goldeneye engine for the Timesplitters games. Please clarify that for my friend. We are working on a FPS of our own that is soon to hit the markets not like your guys care. But anyway adding vehicles to TSFP is the coolest thing ever. - Brandon
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#### R107 Says

Yes, of course we're still using a ten-year-old N64 engine. We also live in mud huts, and have to power our TVs by pedalling on a bicycle attached to a generator. P.S: Your friend sounds like he knows his stuff.

Hi,

i'm a huge fan of your TimeSplitters series. Still to this day i play it occasionally online for the ps2 despite the unbearable lag caused by the awful maintenance of the EA servers. I'm looking forward to Haze and such, anyways... you guys don't get the recognition you deserve considering your Timesplitters series blows any FPS i've ever played clear out of the water, i'll shut up now but my question is, do you guys intend to keep the same elements in the future timesplitters game?, capture the bag is a must!!!! - Nico
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#### R107 Says

That's quite enough ass licking for you - you'll give yourself a stomach ache. Now, as for Capture the Bag: if we start developing another TimeSplitters game, I'm sure it will find its way in there.

Dear R106,

I have several questions that I was hoping you could answer for me.
1. The inclusion of Dr. Doak in Goldeneye was a nice touch. I was just wondering if any of the other Free Radical team members have made cameo appearances in your games or whether they will in the future?
2. The ending of Timesplitters: Future Perfect made it apparent that a sequel is unlikely. Can you elaborate on this? Do you guys have any plans involving the Timesplitters license for the future? It'd be a shame to see it disappear off the face of the earth.
3. As a developer, EA take a lot of criticism for the yearly updates of their franchises with minimal differences each time. As a publisher, however, they seem to do a good job with most titles. Though after the release of Stranger's Wrath, Oddworld Inhabitants came out and scrutinized their abilities. They claimed EA didn't give the title the support it deserved, which to be honest I agree with. I was just wondering if Free Radical had any trouble with EA during the development process of Timesplitters: Future Perfect? I believe they suggested adding vocal effects to the Deathmatch. Did they suggest or implement anything else along the way?
- Peter 'The Bogard' Moss
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#### R107 Says

1. Yes. Remember the Gingerbread Man? He's is our Chief Financial Officer. And that Dinosaur? He's on reception.
2. Aren't HAZE and the LucasArts project enough for you? Jesus. You people are never happy. Tell you what, I will personally program a whole new TimeSplitters game when you send me proof that you have completed the first three at 100%. Deal?
3. As I believe is customary, I would like to use this opportunity to take credit for all the things you liked in TimeSplitters Future Perfect, and to blame anything you didn't like on everyone else.

Hi again,

1. why are you R107 if u are more like..that evil guy in TS3
2. did the guy who came up with all those funny things really leave?
3. will there be any fun in haze? like.. u know.. jokes and stuff or is it just serious
4. are Mantel in Haze the evil guys or are it the guerillas? or are both..
5. can i work for Free Radical? what jobs are left? i'd even like to be the janitor for Free Radical
6. why did u mention 2009 so often in a reply before? will u work on TS4 then?
thx for answering all those questions,including mine, although i ve such a feeling that you didnt take all questions seriously 8'[ - Kukident
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#### R107 Says

1. What the hell are you talking about.
2. Yes. He went on to write about some of his personal experiences here in the Kevin Bacon movie 'The Woodsman'.
3. Of course it won't be fun. It's a game - not something to be used for meaningless delightful entertainment.
4. The guerrillas of course. They kill people, and eat them. That's pretty evil.
5. Yes. See you Monday. The toilet upstairs is blocked, so bring your toothbrush.
6. Because 2009 is my favourite number. Well, apart from 55378008, which spells "BOOBLESS" on an upside down calculator.

Dear Free Radical,

OMG why do you not read my emails and post them here? I think they should make R107 bot "person" have a full time reading "all" emails. Also paid very little no break and so on.......... - Abel
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#### R107 Says

I'm too busy watching videos of skateboarders crippling themselves on youtube.

Dear Free Radical,

why are you dressed as a robot? and have you ever fought with the robots in the wars? - Ben
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#### R107 Says

Is that the best you've got?

Ello!,
When not dressed like a queer cardboard robot, do you look like Oggie from The Office? I'm pretty sure you do.

-Monday Mourning####

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#### R107 Says

No. I look like Tackleberry from 'Police Academy'.

Dear Free Radical,
Firstly, Timesplitters2&3 surpassed even Golden Eye in greatness. Timeslitters 3 was better than 2, but it wasn't nearly as famous perhaps because of lack of advertising hype. There was more players to chose from on multiplayer mode than any other game and the ability to create you own level is awsome though it could have been more comprehensive. Anyways perhaps you guys could put all of that integrity into a game for Nintendo for Wii with use of the pistol like nunchuck, highly advertise it and have the greatest shooter of all time yet again. halo is a overhyped nock-off that needs it's ego bumped out of the box. Sadly though I did not like second sight. I could not even get into it. It held no captivity like a great shooter, probably because it wasn't.

-Mike####

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#### R107 Says

Wait... Wait... Let me get this all down... We need to "highly advertise"... Got it.

Dear Free Radical,
i am inquireing to ask if you would be able to give me the oppurtunity of working at your place as a work experience placement. I am 14,male, my name is Conal Geoghegan and i live in linby,Nottinghamshire. i attend the national school technology college and i am passionate about games designing/programming. My address is ############## Conal Geoghegan

-Conal####

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#### R107 Says

Conal, my good man, you missed the boat on this one I'm afraid. If you check out the Articles page, you'll see how we choose our interns. The Free Radical Gong of Terror will be back in 2007. You'll have your chance then, or go to our Recruitment page now and see if you have the skillz.

Dear Free Radical,
Why on earth haven't you guys released any more information concerning Haze? We've almost forgotten about the premiere. You guys seem to have dropped the project.

Anyways. What other references to movies and video games are there? You know, the kind which isn't so blatantly obvious, unlike Citizen Kane, or aliens, or starship troopers, or System Shock, or Terminator, or Blade Runner.

It seems that you've been stuck with the brunt of our comments, poor poor guy.

I'm good with graphical design yet lack the "qualifications" necessary for the professions open. I am quite capable of 2-d art and concept designs. Great with story design and character development as well.

As for the moniker, people have been calling me that since I somewhat resemble him. Disheveled hair and all.

-Hugh####

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#### R107 Says

HAZE is still alive and well. There will be new details very, very soon.

Watch this space:

That's right. Keep watching.

Dear Free Radical,
1. If the LucusArts project really Timesplitters! For the love of god give me hope for it to be! Although from reading you website fully I can guess its a licensed project maybe even James Bond..?
2. Being a robot (Obviously) do you enjoy working at free radical and how is the pay? Let me guess crap? Also what is everyone that works their like? Geeks, Cake Lovers or are they just plain sad men who lock themselves in dark rooms designing games.
3. Out of 10 how much violence will their be in Have?
4. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN YOU PLEASE MAKE ANOTHER TIMESPLITTERS GAME!

-Ben####

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#### R107 Says

1. It sounds like you haven't actually been reading the website 'fully' at all, Columbo
2. Apart from the lack of natural light and the smell, it's pretty nice.
3. Out of ten what?
4. Well, maybe.

Horrah! Questions!,
1. Why did they use so much voice acting in TimeSplitters:FP? My ears bleed on the multilayer character selection menu and I'll have you know it is difficult to clean out of a controller!
2. -ish. Who would win in a fight: Uncle Tusk or R107? If you insist uncle tusk is dead, did he flee to Brazil and might he accept a nice mound of C4 cleverly disguised as a bananabread in the post?
3. -potluck. How many cups of suger would it take to get R107 to the moon? Be creative!..(Which is a disguised word for insane, or at least that is the conclusion I came up with..look at modern art!)

-Commander Leftright####

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#### R107 Says

1. What the hell are you talking about? "So much voice acting"?
2. R107. I learnt things in prison.
3. Were you dreaming with a pencil in your hand when you wrote that 'question'? Man, that is some real stream of consciousness gibberish.

Dear Free Radical,
I wondered if you wanted any ideas for games, particuallrly weapons and zombies. I like zombies. I have very little proggraming skills, but I am taking classes in programming and HTLM. I also am learning to use Visual Basic. So do you want any ideas, but I won't be able to make them, but I could make graphics for them. Interested? P.S. Why are mangos gay? Is it there coluer?

 Gregg
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#### R107 Says

You got us nailed, badboy: Even though we have loads of highly talented and creative people working here, none of them have any ideas. They're a mindless humming school of morons, cruising their lazy way to an undeserved paycheck every month. It sickens me every day of my objectionable working life. Except pay day. Also, they all eat mangos.

Dear Free Radical,
Hi, erm take a seat. Can I get you a drink? Oh im sorry, of course.
Anyway straight to business.
Due to the fact that I cannot look up your share price, I cannot tell how well the firm is doing finincially. I raise this because this is indicitive of the liklyhood of there being another TS game. Can you tell me how much the company is worth? Roughly. And make more TS or ill kill you all. Personally. Yes

Daniel
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#### R107 Says

We are worth less than Shaquille O'Neill, but more than MC Hammer. Which makes us exactly as valuable as Rudy Huxtable.

Dear Free Radical,
whythehelldontyoumakeanothertimsplittersgame

Jesse
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#### R107 Says

Because you didn't put any spaces in your sentence. You only have yourself to blame.

Dear Free Radical,
PLEASEMAKE ANOTHER TIMESPLITTERS GAME

Jesse
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#### R107 Says

That's better. Some spaces, but too many capitals. Still not good enough, I'm afraid.

Hi R107,
Ive allready kiddnapped Khallos. What more do you want for some attention to my letters. 1) I discovered that U-Genix sounds like Eugenix, which means changing the human race, thats what Crow's after, yes? Also, is there a fascination at FRD with Russia, The russian connection, Siberia and Katje Nadir which are in your games. Russia features a lot in Second Sight. Am I the first to point out the U-Genix thing Cheers, Rhydz P.s Khallos says "HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!"

Rhydz####

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#### R107 Says

We like Russia because that's where we buy our wives from.

Hi,
i havent written u for some weeks

BUT I M STILL ALIVE

i could ask you questions now, but as usual, u will avoid answering them, and writing crap instead or u will answer only a little part of the question with something not-helping-at-all like "maybe"

anyways

1. when will the new infos about haze be published? (you have to answer "very soon" here)
2. i wanna spent the rest of my live serving in the FRD central being able to call myself a part of it and therefore a part of all the projects u ve done.
the good ones only of course
so.. will u accept/kidnap me?
(u have to answer crap here)
3. u once said u will program timesplitters 4 urself if somebody has 100% of TS2 and TS3 done (the percentage in the statistics)
is that still up?
if yes, tell me so i will just start finishing the missing percents
4. my english is kinda bad
5. how are you?
6. [REPLACE a question here]

greetings
Kukident####

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#### R107 Says

1. Okay, if you say so: Very Soon.
2. Yes – if you win the Gong of Terror
3. Yes, absolutely. I wasn’t joking even one percent. See you in the programming room.
4. Correct.
5. So-so. My balls are itching. I think it’s my shampoo.
6. I wish you’d asked whether I want to spend my time trawling through badly written emails, desperately trying to cherry-pick a precious few that aren’t total dog eggs.

Dear Free Radical,
Is there any chance of Free Radical and Nintendo to work together to get Sgt Cortez or any of the Timesplitter characters in the new Super Smash Bros. game?

Erik####

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#### R107 Says

If they want him, he’s available. Someone email Mario and tell him: midgetplumberforhire@hotmale.com