The Couple

**The Couple** is the ninth episode of the second season of *American Housewife*, and the thirty-second episode overall. Written by Taylor Hamra and directed by John Putch. It aired on December 6, 2017.

## Plot

Greg and Katie get to meet new a new couple that have no kids. Anna-Kat convinces her siblings to help her with a project that is more gruesome than anticipated.

The episode starts where Katie and Greg first meet the couple at a street fair. Katie and Greg tell Taylor and Oliver to help Anna-Kat about her story for an assembly that’s happening at the school. Katie tells Taylor that if she doesn’t do what she’s told to do, She is not going to the concert with her friends. Which makes Anna-Kat annoy Taylor and Oliver more, but Taylor has had enough with Anna-Kat’s annoying and giggly sounds, which makes Anna-Kat give her puppy eyes. Taylor says fine I’ll help you. Anna-Kat then says yay and starts clapping. Anna-Kat tells Taylor the same thing that Katie told Taylor. Katie and Greg meet the couple at a restaurant were they get chicken and fries. At the diner, Katie tells Doris and Angela that her and Greg this morning had sex. Angela gasps and says morning sex. The next scene is where the whole gang gets ice cream. Anna-Kat is still on Katie and Greg’s side, which makes her annoy Oliver and Taylor more. But Anna-Kat apologizes to them and asks them to give her a taste of ice cream. After that, Anna-Kat hugs Taylor, but not Oliver because of his behavior. Katie and Greg are parents of the year because the kids shared their ice creams together. The couple comes and Katie and Greg are shocked with the kids. But they are not after they hide the kids. Anna-Kat starts going crazy after she’s had enough of the sugar. At the assembly, everyone is at their and sees Anna-Kat then the story does not go well so sadly, Taylor can’t go to the concert with her friends.

## Cast

### Main Cast

* Katy Mixon as Katie Otto
* Diedrich Bader as Greg Otto
* Meg Donnelly as Taylor Otto
* Daniel DiMaggio as Oliver Otto
* Laura Wright as Carly Corinthos
* Julia Butters as Anna-Kat Otto
* Ali Wong as Doris
* Carly Hughes as Angela
* Maurice Benard as Sonny Corinthos
* Haley Pullos as Molly Lansing-Davis
* Kelly Monaco as Sam McCall
* Rebecca Herbst as Elizabeth Webber-Baldwin
* Rebecca Budig as Hayden Barnes
* Amanda Setton as Brook Lynn Quartermaine
* Emme Rylan as Lulu Spencer
* Hayley Erin as Kiki Jerome
* Eden McCoy as Josslyn Jacks
* Lexi Ainsworth as Kristina Corinthos
* Chad Duell as Michael Corinthos
* Billy Miller as Drew Cain
* Steve Burton as Jason Morgan
* Steve Carrell as Michael Scott
* Rainn Wilson as Dwight K Schrute
* John Krasinski as Jim Halpert
* Jenna Fischer as Pam Beesly
* BJ Novak as Ryan Howard
* Leslie David Baker as Stanley Hudson
* Phyllis Smith as Phyllis Vance
* Angela Kinsey as Angela Martin
* Mindy Kailing as Kelly Kapoor
* Brian Baumgartner as Kevin
* Ellie Kemper as Erin Hannon
* Ed Helms as Andy Benard

### Guest Starring

* Jerry Lambert as Principal Ablin
* Fiona Gubelmann as Courtney
* Ryan Hansen as Zach
* Abby Wathen as Wife #1
* Keith Edie as Husband #1
* Alison Whitney as Wife #2
* Kevin Held as Husband #2
* Amanda Jaros as Wife #3

## Trivia

This is the only episode with a couple without kids.

This is the third time in which Anna-Kat annoys Taylor and Oliver.

## Quotes

Katie: OK. Ground rules for tonight. Taylor’s in charge and they’re could be no more disasters.

Taylor: What do you mean by disasters?

Greg: Last time we let you babysit, you guys played hide and seek and gave up without looking for Anna Kat. She was zipped in a suitcase for five hours.

Oliver: We didn’t give up. We just never looked.

Katie: (to Taylor) This is your last shot. If you can’t prove that you’re responsible then you can’t go to the concert with your friends next week. Got it?

Taylor: Got it.

Greg: This dinner we’re going to is important so don’t call unless it’s really an emergency.

Katie: That means call from the hospital.

Anna-Kat: Ooh you guys are so screwed (giggles).

Taylor: alright I’m not doing it.

Katie: Taylor, I know she annoys you a lot, but her and I are doing reward systems and she needs to remember what she’s working for. She is annoying you guys as well but she is having tallies on the system board and for annoying you, she’s been losing tallies. And I know it’s hard with Anna-Kat annoying you. But she loves you and you love her too. Right?

Taylor: Right. But I’ve had enough with her annoying me and her giggly sounds. I’m not doing it.

Anna-Kat: (gasps sadly and gives Taylor puppy eyes)

Kristina: huh. I haven’t seen Anna-Kat give Taylor puppy eyes.

Molly: yeah. On one of the things that Anna-Kat can get really happy about. The last time Anna-Kat gave Taylor puppy eyes was the day before Doris’ charity.

Anna-Kat: Please Taylor, Please? (continues with the puppy eyes)

Taylor: no.

Anna-Kat: (continues with the puppy eyes for Taylor) I won’t annoy you. You don’t have to play with me tomorrow.

Taylor: I don’t know.

Anna-Kat: but please Taylor. I'll give you lots and lots of hugs. Please? (continues with the puppy eyes and breaks down in tears while doing it to Taylor) (hugs Taylor while teary-eyed and Taylor hugs her it's ok) (both stop hugging and Anna-Kat sniffles)

Taylor: (sighs) fine I’ll help you.

Anna-Kat: yay. (Clapping) you’re my favorite sibling ever. (Both hug)

Taylor: Anna-Kat, dinner. (To Oliver) tonight is just a night. You and Anna-Kat are my responsibility. Nothing can go wrong, no one can get hurt.

Anna-Kat: Taylor, I need your help with it. You get what I’m saying?

Taylor: no.

Anna-Kat: Oliver, you get what I’m saying? Wait. That could be a rap song for me because I love rap and it’s my favorite kind. Taylor here. I’ll do it and now you’ll get what I’m doing. OK?

Taylor: ok.

Anna-Kat: (clears throat) (rapping) you get what I’m saying. But I love Taylor. You get what I’m saying. But Oliver is sometimes mean and rude but I love to annoy Taylor and Oliver so much but I give them puppy eyes to Taylor a lot because she’s always had enough with me and so I give her puppy eyes with a sad face and a sad mouth just like what 8 year olds do it. And I’m 8 so I always get my act together sometimes but my mama and daddy always ground me because I was annoying Taylor and Oliver, but I love them but I love Taylor so much because she’s my favorite sibling. (Talking) that’s how my song for you works Taylor. But here. I have it on photos on the iPad for you and you’re gonna be so screwed. (Giggles) (shows the video to Taylor)

(during the video) Katie: Taylor, this is your last shot. If you don’t help Anna-Kat with the assembly then you’re not going to the concert with your friends next week. (Anna-Kat stops the video)

Anna-Kat: (chuckles) you’re not gonna go to the concert with your friends next week. And PS, you’re gonna be so grounded forever. (Giggles)

Taylor: really? Show me how happy writing works then and tell me how you little baby.

Molly: (laughing hysterically because of what Taylor said to Anna-Kat)

Anna-Kat: (giggles) (to Taylor) you’re gonna be so grounded forever and ever and ever. (Giggles)

Taylor: (rudely) show me how happy writing works then tell me how you little baby.

Anna-Kat: (fake voice breaking) ow Taylor knocked out my tooth. (Regular voice) happy writing. (Giggles)

Taylor: UGH (gets the dinner and tries to dump it in Anna-Kat’s hooha)

Anna-Kat: oh she’s gonna put the food in my hooha. I’m so scared. (Gets scared)

Oliver: woah woah woah. Enough. Taylor, remember what happened at the end of September, the stuffed shells were in Anna-Kat’s hooha and Mom had to take her to the doctor to get the sauce out?

Taylor: (sighs) yeah.

Oliver: I think you owe Anna-Kat an apology.

Taylor: (to Anna-Kat) I’m sorry.

Anna-Kat: I accept your apology. I’m sorry for annoying you about the assembly and you not gong to the concert with your friends.

Taylor: I accept your apology. (Both hug)

Anna-Kat: sounds like a writing problem. (picks the spoon up) make it work.

Taylor: that’s it. I’m done. I’m going upstairs because you are being too lazy and rude. (Goes upstairs)

Anna-Kat: Taylor wait

Taylor: WHAT?

Anna-Kat: hey don’t be aggressive to me. I'm not being aggressive to you. Right?

Taylor: (sighs) Right.

Anna-Kat: I’m being too lazy and rude, that hurt my feelings.

Taylor: I don’t care. I’m going up anyway.

Anna-Kat: Taylor please stay. I’m sorry.

Taylor: I don’t care.

Anna-Kat: I’m serious. I’m sorry Taylor for being rude to you. Please forgive me. Please? (Gives Taylor puppy eyes) (hugs Taylor)

Taylor: (hugs Anna-Kat back) I accept your apology.

Anna-Kat: (feels happy)

Katie: you guys still need to be doing Anna-Kat’s project when we get home.

Anna-Kat: another punishment for them. That’s so happy (giggles)

Taylor and Oliver: (both glare at Anna-Kat)

Anna-Kat: alright I’m sorry. Now give me a taste of your ice cream.

Sonny: (On the Phone) So putting them on the sheets will be cool is that what you want? Great. Thank you. (hangs up)

Anna-Kat: thanks Taylor. (Hugs Taylor and Taylor hugs her back)

Taylor: you’re welcome.

Greg: aww they’re sharing.

Katie: were parents of the year.

Principal Ablin: Please welcome Anna-Kat Otto.

(applause)

Anna-Kat: (comes to the stage nervously) Once upon (stops) (voice breaking) I'm so sorry. (runs backstage and sits down crying)

Katie: Oh (walks backstage looking for Anna-Kat) Anna-Kat, Anna-Kat, (finds Anna-Kat backstage and sees her crying) (sighs) My baby, are you ok?

Anna-Kat: (sniffles) No. (continues crying)

Katie: what's wrong?

Anna-Kat: I got stage fright. (continues crying)

Katie: Aw my baby princess sweetheart it's ok. (touches Anna-Kat's back and rubs it while Anna-Kat is still crying) Sometimes We get stage fright and you do too. Right?

Anna-Kat: Mm-hmm. (sniffles) but I can't do it mama. With all those people starring at me. (continues crying)

Katie: Come here. (Both hug and Katie rubs Anna-Kat's back and rubs it during their hug while Anna-Kat is still crying) it's ok my baby princess sweetheart it's ok. (Both hug more) I understand. (shushes Anna-Kat while Anna-Kat is still crying) It's ok relax.

Kristina: Oh good god. This is the worst part ever. Me and Taylor might not go to the concert with our friends, Oliver might not want to buy sneakers and Anna-Kat has stage fright.

Carly: This is the worst part ever.

Sam: I agree.

(both Taylor and Oliver applaud but stop slowly because of the mess they made)

Katie: you’re so not going to the concert with your friends. Are you two crazy? What were you thinking?

Oliver: (about Anna-Kat) she got mad at us and let us do it until dinner.

Anna-Kat: you’re so right I did and you have been screwed. You’re sometimes stupid. Aw poor Oliver. You are gonna be so grounded for the rest of your life. (Giggles)

Katie: is this true Anna-Kat?

Taylor: she also annoyed me about me not going to the concert with my friends.

Anna-Kat: I sure did because I annoy her a lot sometimes. Aw poor Taylor who’s not gonna be able to go to the concert with her friends next week. You’re gonna be so grounded forever. (Giggles)

Katie: is this also true Anna-Kat?

Anna-Kat: (chuckles and talks to Taylor) you’re not going to the concert with your friends anymore. And PS, you are so grounded forever. Aw poor Taylor. She’s not gonna go to the concert with her friends next week anymore and now she’s grounded forever. (Giggles)

Taylor: ugh are you kidding me? Mom

Anna-Kat: (still annoying Taylor) don’t tell me. Tell your mommy. She got you in trouble and PS, you’re so grounded forever. (Giggles)

Taylor: ugh are you kidding me again? Mom

Katie: Taylor listen, I understand Anna-Kat annoys you but she does but I’ll tell her right now but you’re not gonna go to the concert with your friends but I know she annoys you and it bothers you, but don’t worry. You and I will find out what the results for you are.

Anna-Kat: Taylor is so grounded forever. (Giggles)

Katie: Anna-Kat, if you keep annoying Taylor about her not going to the concert with her friends, you’re gonna lose a tally. Remember what your working for? Right?

Anna-Kat: yes mama. I’m sorry Taylor.

Taylor: I accept your apology. (Starts crying)

Anna-Kat: aw. (Both hug and rub each other’s backs during it)

(a week ago)

Katie: (knocks on Taylor’s door)

Taylor: come in.

Katie: (opens the door) I was wrong. You guys were right.

Taylor: what does that mean?

Katie: it means you can go to the concert with your friends.

Taylor: yes. Thank you. (Both Katie and Taylor hug)

Katie: have fun.

Taylor: Thank you. (Walks away and gets ready for the concert)

Greg: what are you doing?

Taylor: going to the concert.

Greg: but Mom said that you can’t.

Taylor: (rudely) well Mom said I can because Mom told me to. (Walks away)

Greg: (offended) well.

Anna-Kat: (sighs) it was a long day last night for me.

Katie: (opens Anna-Kat’s door) morning sweetheart.

Anna-Kat: morning.

Katie: do you want to stay in your pajamas for the whole day today?

Anna-Kat: (very happy) yeah. (Giggles)

Katie: aww you love pajamas do you?

Anna-Kat: uh-huh. Clothes are boring.

Katie: I know. They’re boring to you but not to me.

Anna-Kat: (Giggles)

Katie: (giggles and her and Anna-Kat hug) come on. Let’s go get you some breakfast.

Anna-Kat: OK mama. (Both Katie and Anna-Kat go downstairs to get breakfast)

Katie: I think you earned a tally for the play.

Anna-Kat: (gasps happily and claps) thanks mama so very much. (Hugs Katie)

Katie: your welcome honey. I love you so very very much.

Anna-Kat: I love you too so very much.

Greg: morning honey.

Anna-Kat: morning daddy.

Katie: I told Anna-Kat that she can keep her pjs on today.

Greg: that’s ok. I’m fine with it.

Katie: I gotta run to the grocery store. I told Taylor that she can go to the concert with her friends. Did she leave?

Greg: yeah about 10 minutes ago. She’s gonna be at it in about an hour.

Katie: cool. I’m gonna go to the grocery store. Where’s Oliver.

Greg: he’s out with Cooper.

Katie: OK. I’m gonna go.

Greg: no no no. Don’t. You stay with Anna-Kat and I’ll go to the store.

Katie: oh ok. I get to spend time with you.

Anna-Kat: I know. That makes me super happy.

Katie: I know. (Both Katie and Anna-Kat hug)

Greg: I’ll be right back.

Katie: love you.

Greg: love you too. (Closes the door)

Katie: my little sweetheart loves when I stay home with you.

Anna-Kat: mm-hmm. (Giggles)

Katie: (giggles) so what do you want to do?

Anna-Kat: I don’t know? Probably play with my ponies.

Katie: sure you can play them with me.

Anna-Kat: thanks mama.

Greg: (opens and closes the door) guess who’s back from the grocery store.

Katie: you are.

Greg: yep. I got chicken for our dinner, before we ran out.

Katie: sweet. So just the three of us. Me, you and Anna-Kat.

Greg: yep. Where is Anna-Kat anyway?

Katie: she put her ponies away because she was tired and wants to bring a stuffed animal of hers, but she is working for another one.

Anna-Kat: (comes downstairs with her monkey) ah my lovely place.

Katie: aww you love your monkey.

Anna-Kat: uh-huh. He’s a little shy but he’s very sweet and gives me love, like Hans Gruber.

Katie: that is sweet. You know that your working for another one so you can earn your tallies. Right?

Anna-Kat: I know. I love my monkey so much with all my heart.

Katie: aww you are so sweet to him.

Anna-Kat: uh-huh. I am because he knows that I’m in the living room and I don’t know what if he is still going to be on his own when we sell him.

Katie: we are not going to sell him sweetie, we would never sell your stuffed animals.

Anna-Kat: I know because if you would do that, I would cry very sadness coming out of my eyes.

Katie: we will never sell them sweetie.

Anna-Kat: thanks mama. (Both Katie and Anna-Kat hug) because I love them so much.

Katie: uh-huh. And your working for a new one.

Anna-Kat: I know. I am.

Taylor: (opens and closes the door)

Katie: hey hun, how was the concert?

Taylor: it was good. We saw Lady Gaga and Luke Bryan singing their new song together.

Katie: that’s so happy. I’m happy for you.

Taylor: thanks Mom.

Greg: wow Taylor. That’s so happy.

Taylor: thanks Dad. (Walks upstairs to her room)

Katie: wow. Can’t you believe it?

Greg: yeah I know she was very happy.

Anna-Kat: mama, I don’t know that we’re going to be on the same time as last night and I don’t know what if you guys are going to be there for me?

Katie: relax. We’ll have dinner in a bit just let me get the food ready.

Anna-Kat: ok mama.

Katie: OK. I love your pjs.

Anna-Kat: thanks mama, I love you.

Katie: aww I love you too. (Both Katie and Anna-Kat hug) ok now I’m gonna do some cooking. (Goes to the kitchen)

Katie: DINNER!

Oliver: (opens and closes the door) I’m home.

Greg: how was it?

Oliver: it was good. We got some fries for lunch so we got the money for next week.

Katie: that’s sweet. So you can pay him back the money that you didn’t lie on us.

Oliver: sure. I get ready for the new episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.

Katie: cool. You deserve it.

Oliver: thanks.

(Taylor and Anna-Kat come downstairs for diner)

Katie: so let’s start with Taylor. How was the concert?

Taylor: it was so fun. We got some free tickets for Luke Bryan and he was so awesome.

Katie: excellent. Moving on. Oliver, how was Cooper’s?

Oliver: it was good. We played some video games then we went to go in Cooper’s room to sit silently then we went out to lunch then we came back and hung out some more and now, here I am.

Katie: cool. You both have excellent shares.

Both: thank you.

Katie narrating: when I got time with Anna-Kat earlier, I try to think about the time that is lent with her when she was my favorite.

Katie: good night sweetheart I love you.

Anna-Kat: I love you too.

Katie: so I went to Angela and Doris after dinner to talk about when Courtney and Zach were saying that they were pregnant because they are.

Greg: I know I’m so happy for them.

Katie: so am I.

(the day of the Westport street fair)

Katie: alright ladies and gentlemen, we are ready for the fair.

(everyone cheering)

Elizabeth: is Tara coming?

Katie: no. I texted her and she had plans.

Elizabeth: ok. (Goes in the car)

(in the car)

Taylor: how long does it take us?

Katie: it takes us an hour and 15 minutes to get there.

Taylor: cool. (Checks the texts on her phone from her friends)

Carly: did you get my text Katie?

Katie: Yes I did.

Carly: Perfect. Where’s my wallet?

Sonny: it’s right here. (Gives it to Carly)

Carly: thank you.

Molly: so which fair are we going to?

Katie: the one in Holtsville, New York.

Molly: oh I love that one.

Sam: I’ve been there before. You’ve gotta see it.

Greg: I will absolutely love it. Did you see the post on Facebook?

Carly: Oh my god. It was so hysterical. I was laughing so hard.

Taylor: It was so funny. I couldn’t stop laughing.

Elizabeth: Is that the one video where they curse a lot?

Katie: Oh yeah.

Elizabeth: (starts laughing) oh my god. That is so funny.

Oliver: I saw it. I loved it.

Greg: It is very funny.

Sonny: Alright so when we get to the point were everybody is going on their own, make sure that your GPS says to go a way that you have to go to. Everyone got it?

Everyone: Yes.

Sonny: Good. Thank you.

Jason: The only thing that’s best for everyone is that we all need to not touch any strangers. OK? We have to keep our hands to ourselves and no fighting and pushing. Everyone got it?

Everyone: yes.

Jason: thank you.

Kiki: where is my wallet?

Carly: it’s right here Kiki. (Hands the Kiki’s wallet to Kiki)

Kiki: thanks Carly.

Carly: your welcome.

Sam: did Viv get your text?

Kristina: Nope. She’s not coming.

Sam: Oh dear.

Dwight: I could care less if no one has their GPS because we all should.

Sonny: (laughing hysterically) oh you’re funny Dwight.

Pam: you know we could all make a u turn if we all want.

Katie: Unfortunately, we can’t because we’re already on the road.

Pam: (angrily) Are you (bleep) kidding me?

Brook Lynn: This is why we live in America.

Anna-Kat: mama, can I go on the iPad during the ride?

Katie: no.

Anna-Kat: but mama.

Katie: you heard me. No.

Greg: Katie where do I turn?

Katie: we’re almost on the Cross Island Parkway. Turn left in a couple minutes.

Greg: OK.

Anna-Kat: mama

Katie: you’re not asking me about the iPad.

Anna-Kat: but mama

Katie: no buts. Not happening.

Anna-Kat: but mama I was trying to do something and it’s never fair to you.

Katie: because I’m the adult and you’re the child.

Lulu: and you gotta respect her because you don’t even listen to her sometimes and it’s very important that you listen to her every day.

Anna-Kat: (voice breaking) great. Now I’m not allowed to go on the iPad today. (Crying)

Katie: you should be learning about this lesson that I’m teaching you right now. You have to pay attention that life isn’t all about you. And if we keep this up, there’s gonna be consequences. When we say no for the iPad it’s a hard no. Discussion’s over.

Anna-Kat: but mama

Katie: I said over. You heard me. If we keep this up, the iPad is gone for a week.

Anna-Kat: (crying) but mama I just want to play the most game on it.

Katie: well no. I said no and we’re respecting that. Period.

Anna-Kat: (crying) but it’s not ok and I just wanted it so bad because it’s my favorite time of the day and I just wanted it. This is why I’m dealing with it.

Katie: don’t talk back to me. Do we need to be grounded for a month?

Anna-Kat: (still crying) no.

Katie: then get your act together. We are not using the iPad. Period.

Anna-Kat: (hides her hair in her face and hugs her stuffed animal bird while crying)

Katie: (hears Anna-Kat crying in the back of the car and ignores it)

Kristina: oh god please someone help me get my ears blocked.

Sam: oh yeah Kristina. I get that too.

Angela: so do I.

(an hour ago)

Carly: hey Sonny can you get my jewelry?

Sonny: sure. (Brings it to Carly)

Carly: thank you. Greg did you get my email yesterday?

Greg: sure did.

Carly: Excellent. (To Katie) Did you talk to Doris and Angela about the fair?

Katie: yes I have. They’re coming.

Carly: Excellent. Thank you.

Hayden: (sees a car from her window having a dance party) Who the (bleep) allows a car to have a party?

Elizabeth: Weird people.

Hayden: (laughing hysterically because of what Elizabeth said about the car next to her window) oh for (bleep) sake.

Katie: Oliver, how’s Anna-Kat doing?

Oliver: (sees Anna-Kat still crying) uh she’s still in a meltdown.

Dwight: still in a meltdown? (Laughs)

Angela: That can be funny.

Katie: (groans)

Elizabeth: Hey Sam,

Sam: (looks at Elizabeth)

Elizabeth: How come Patrick and Emma aren’t coming?

Sam: because they have something going on with Robin.

Elizabeth: what are they doing?

Sam: They have a party to attend for Robin’s mom but they’re coming to Taylor and Kristina’s concert tonight.

Elizabeth: oh thank god.

Sam: Robin’s going too.

Elizabeth: Thank god even more. (Laughs)

Sam: And Robin’s mom as well.

Elizabeth: Thank god even more more. (Laughs)

Katie: (to Anna-Kat) Sweetheart, I need you to get your hair out of your face. (Anna-Kat gets her hair out of her face and Katie sees her tears)

Hayden: (about Anna-Kat) Why was her hair in her face?

Elizabeth: because she was crying.

Hayden: Oh dear.

Elizabeth: Yeah. I know.

Katie: (to Anna-Kat) Sweetheart I know you want the iPad but life isn’t all about you. It’s about everyone. I’m sorry that you’re crying because you want the iPad but you have to earn it. We have to earn a tally off the reward systems list. You lost one when you talked back to me. It’s not ok.

Anna-Kat: (continues crying) But I just wanted it today. (Continues crying)

Katie: I know you want it today but we can have it tomorrow. Only if you behave for me, your father and everyone else who watches you.

Lulu: oh good god when are we gonna be at the fair already with this (bleep) traffic?

Greg: right now we’re on the center field with this. (Laughs)

Kristina: (glares at Greg)

Greg: Sorry.

Carly: (to Katie) Never mind the fact that Doris and Angela are coming.

Katie: Yeah. They might be there now.

Carly: Oh good.

Taylor: Dad, when are we getting there?

Greg: we will be getting there in a couple minutes.

Taylor: OK. (Checks her phone and looks at texts from her friends)

Elizabeth: Where the hell is my pocketbook?

Molly: it’s right here.

Elizabeth: Oh, perfect. Thank you. (Takes her pocketbook from Molly)

Kiki: Katie how long does it take us?

Greg: We have a couple minutes till we get there.

Kiki: Thanks Greg.

Drew: Sam, is Shiloh coming to the fair today?

Sam: Unfortunately, he’s not because he has something going on with his family.

Drew: ok.

Dwight: If we were all rich, we would go out to dinner with each other every day. Which means all of us but we are going out to dinner tonight because Katie made that decision. So HALLELUJAH!

Pam: HALLELUJAH!

Everyone: HALLELUJAH! (Cheering)

Katie: Yes. We all are. And besides, tonight is Taylor and Kristina’s concert. We have to be at the school by 7:45. The concert starts at 8.

Hayden: (looks at a notification from Facebook) How the hell did Cameron Mathison got fired from Entertainment Tonight?

Sam: He had sex with Nancy O’Dell.

Hayden: Oh gosh.

Elizabeth: That’s never happened to them before.

Anna-Kat: (still crying)

Carly: (looks at Anna-Kat) Katie,

Katie: Yeah, (sees Anna-Kat still crying and sighs) Anna-Kat sweetheart I know you want the iPad but we gotta earn it off the reward systems list. You’re 8 now and I’ve never been rude to you until you were giving me attitude. It’s not ok.

Anna-Kat: (crying) yeah but I just wanted it. (Continues crying)

Katie: do I have the iPad with me?

Greg: Yeah you do.

Katie: Thanks Greg. Anna-Kat, you need to learn that life isn’t all about you. It’s about everyone. You are the one who’s being rude. You.

Anna-Kat: (continues crying more, hides her hair in her face and hugs her stuffed animal bird while crying)

Katie: (sighs because she still made Anna-Kat cry)

Carly: if this happened all the time if Anna-Kat was crying because Taylor got her license, Anna-Kat would’ve cried more because she missed Taylor.

Elizabeth: I 100% agree with you on that Carly.

Katie: (sighs, goes in the back of the car and touches Anna-Kat’s arms while Anna-Kat is still crying) I understand you want them back I know. (Rubs Anna-Kat’s back) However, you can’t always get what you want. Do you get what I’m saying?

Anna-Kat: (in a sad tone) mm-hmm. (Wipes her tears from her eyes)

Katie: (sighs and keeps comforting Anna-Kat)

Hayden: Why are you in the back of the car?

Katie: Because Anna-Kat seems very emotional.

Hayden: Do you want me to sit in the front?

Katie: Sure. I’d be very appreciative.

Hayden: (goes in the front seat next to Greg)

(when they were at the Holtsville street fair)

Greg: We’re here.

Everyone: (cheering and they check their phones for internet before they get out of the car)

Katie: Alright. Let’s get things ready. (Gets out of the back seat)

Taylor: Which one is the fair?

Katie: That one.

Taylor: OK.

Sam: Are you kidding me? I don’t get my internet free at this fair and it always happens. It only comes when I’m at the Otto house and it doesn’t work in the car? Damn it.

Pam: Yeah mine doesn’t work too.

Kelly: So does mine.

Taylor: Neither does mine too.

Angela: We can’t get to the internet. Give me a (bleep) break.

Kristina: How do I hook up to the (bleep) WiFi?

Michael: (reads the sentence he has on his phone) No internet sensation. (Gets angry and bangs his seat) god damn it.

(Doris and Angela smile and wave hi to everyone)

Doris: Katie, Carly, Sam, Elizabeth, Ava, Hayden, Jason, Drew, Everyone.

Ava: Oh. It’s them. Thank god.

Sam: (gasps happily) DORIS! (Runs to Doris)

Doris: (runs to Sam and they both hug and scream in excitement)

Sam: Oh my god. I can’t believe you came.

Doris: Yeah. Angela should be out any minute.

Sam: Oh good.

Oliver: Mom, I desperately need to find a perfect way for my new sneakers that I need in a couple weeks.

Katie: relax don’t even worry. Anna-Kat,

Anna-Kat: (looks at Katie sadly when she is still crying and hugging her stuffed animal bird)

Katie: come out of the car so I can talk to you.

Anna-Kat: (comes out of the car)

Katie: I know what you need.

Anna-Kat: I just wish I wanted it. (Continues crying and hugging her stuffed animal bird)

Katie: I know sweetie. Come here. (Both hug and Katie rubs Anna-Kat’s back during their hug while Anna-Kat is still crying and her stuffed animal bird joins in) It’s ok. Sometimes, I have to not give you the iPad because you get fresh with me. Do you understand what I’m saying?

Anna-Kat: uh-huh. (Sniffles and wipes her tears away)

Katie: Remember what I said. You can’t always get what you want.

Anna-Kat: I know.

Katie: (sighs sadly and rubs Anna-Kat’s back) Do you wanna stay with me for the entire fair?

Anna-Kat: (continues crying) mm-hmm.

Katie: What do you have to say to me?

Anna-Kat: (Continues crying) I’m sorry mama for the way I talked to you. (Voice breaking) I’m sorry. (Continues crying)

Katie: I accept your apology. Come here. (Her and Anna-Kat hug and Katie rubs her back during the hug while Anna-Kat is still crying) it’s ok honey. Let’s walk together. (Both hug while walking)

Taylor: Mom, where do you want the money?

Katie: Don’t worry. I’ll take it. (Takes the money from Taylor) thanks sweetie.

Taylor: (walks away)

Katie: (to Anna-Kat) I know. I know. But you have your stuffed animal bird with you.

Anna-Kat: mm-hmm. (Sniffles)

Katie: (rubs Anna-Kat’s back) listen, we are a family. I’m not going anywhere. You’re 8 now and you have to get your act together. It’s always important. And it’s ok that you were crying the entire car ride.

Anna-Kat: I know but Taylor and Oliver are using their phones whatever they want because they’re adults and I’m the kid and I have to get a couple minutes on electronics. It’s not fair. (Continues crying and hugging her stuffed animal bird)

Katie: I know. (Both hug while Anna-Kat is still crying) (says this sentence during the hug) I know it’s hard. It’s ok my sweetheart. I’ll tell you what. (Both stop hugging and walking) If we be good and you do not give me a hard time while at the fair, we can go on the iPad on the way back home.

Anna-Kat: OK mama.

Katie: If you behave. OK? Because, take this as a warning. If you talk to me in a rude manner, then the iPad is not being used. Got it?

Anna-Kat: Got it.

Katie: Good.

Taylor: how do I get this?

Elizabeth: I don’t know? Maybe some coins.

Taylor: probably that. Let me get Mom.

Elizabeth: no no don’t get your Mom. Let me get the coins. (Gets the coins)

Greg: Molly this is important. Why don’t you wanna go on the Ferris wheel?

Molly: (rudely) because I said so. OK? I don’t care about that you are daddying me like my father, but this is so raw for you and everyone else but you’re whole children. (Smiles rudely at Greg and walks away angrily)

Greg: (offended) wow. I haven’t seen her storm away from me like that.

Katie: (to Sam) What are you buying?

Sam: some stuff for Anna-Kat because she had a meltdown for things.

Katie: You are so thoughtful.

Sam: So are you.

Katie: Thanks Sam.

Sam: You’re welcome.

(couple hours ago when everyone goes back in the car)

Katie: Since you’ve been very good and did not give me any attitude, you can go on the iPad on the way back.

Anna-Kat: (gasps happily) Yay. Thanks mama.

Katie: You’re welcome sweetheart. (Her and Anna-Kat hug and Katie rubs Anna-Kat’s back during the hug)

(When everyone goes out to dinner)

(6 PM)

Katie: who’s ready to go out to dinner?

Everyone: (cheering and they all go to the car)

Anna-Kat: (giggles while hugging her stuffed animal bird while going in the car)

Dwight: this is the best day ever.

Pam: totally. When will Anna-Kat come in?

Anna-Kat: (hugs her stuffed animal bird while giggling)

Kelly: she’s right there giggling away with her stuffed animal.

Angela: yeah.

Katie: it’s time to go out to dinner ladies and gentlemen.

Everyone: (cheering while the car starts and they all go out to dinner)

Elizabeth: this is the best day ever.

Dwight: totally.

Sam: I’m so excited for this dinner.

(when everyone got there)

Katie: hi. Table for 114 please?

Waiter: absolutely. I’ll be right back. (Checks the big table) you’re all set. Follow me.

Katie: ok.

(everyone follows the waiter to their table)

Waiter: you’re all set.

Katie: Thank you.

Waiter: you’re welcome. (Walks away)

Katie: so what do you want?

Anna-Kat: chicken tenders. (Acts like a weirdo and giggles)

Angela: oh come on.

Waitress: hi I will be your waitress for you. Any drinks.

Dwight: uh yes can I get some diet cock?

(Everyone laughing hysterically because Dwight said diet cock)

Waitress: (laughing hysterically with everyone else because Dwight said diet cock)

Anna-Kat: (giggles because Dwight said diet cock)

Sonny: (continues laughing hysterically with the waitress and everyone else)

Katie: (chuckles with Anna-Kat) my little weirdo.

Anna-Kat: (continues acting like a weirdo and giggles while acting like a weirdo)

Katie: come here. (Both hug while Anna-Kat is still acting like a weirdo)

(After they eat)

(7:40 PM)

Katie: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for Taylor and Kristina’s concert.

Everyone: (cheering and they all go into the car)

Almost the whole restaurant: (applauds while the Otto family and their cousins are going in the car because they knew what’s happening exciting to them)

(the whole gang is at the auditorium in the school)

(7:54 PM)

Katie: So they’re gonna sing all I ask by Adele. OK?

Anna-Kat: OK.

Sam: I am so excited.

Molly: so am I.

Sonny: what are they singing?

Carly: all I ask by Adele.

Elizabeth: I can’t wait for Kristina and Taylor to sing. They’re gonna be great.

Jason: yeah. I’ll just keep in touch with you when I get back to you and you can have your family with you which you’re having right now.

Elizabeth: thank you Jason.

Jason: you’re welcome Elizabeth.

Dwight: huh, all I ask by Adele? Give me that penis.

Pam: (laughing hysterically) I love that Dwight. (Continues laughing hysterically)

Michael: Wow. We are so proud of them.

Holly: We should be. Why not? (Both laugh)

Michael: hey Mom when is the concert starting?

Carly: probably now I guess.

(8 PM)

(lights go off and cheers and applause)

Principal Ablin: Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to the 2017 Winter Talent Show. Taking place here at the Westport Unified School Auditorium.

(cheers and applause)

Principal Ablin: And now, it is my pleasure to introduce the people who will be singing All I Ask by Adele, Taylor Otto and Kristina Corinthos.

(cheers and applause as Taylor and Kristina walk onto the stage getting ready to sing)

Lulu: (starts recording her video of Taylor and Kristina)

(Kristina starts playing Adele’s all I ask on the piano)

Taylor: (singing) I will leave my heart at the door. They won’t say a word. They’ve all been said before, you know. So why we just play pretend like we’re not scared of what is coming next or scared of nothing having leftover. All I ask is this is my last night with you. Hold me like I’m more than just a friend. Give me a memory I can use. Take me by the hand while I do that lovers do. Matters how it ends so much cause what if I never leave again. (Kristina plays the piano for a couple seconds) I don’t need your honesty. It’s already in your eyes. And I’m sure my eyes, they speak for me. No one knows me like you do, and since you’re the only one that matters tell me who I run to? And don’t get the wrong, I know there is no tomorrow. All I ask is this is my last night with you. Hold me like I’m more than just a friend. Give me a memory I can use. Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do. Matters how this ends. Cause what if I never leave again. All I ask is this is my last night with you. Hold me like I’m more than just a friend, give me a memory I can use, take my by the hand while we do what lovers do. Matters how it ends so much. Let this our lesson be once were in love, and let this be the way we remember us, I don’t wanna be cruel or vicious and I ain’t asking for forgiveness. All I ask is this is my last night with you. Hold me like I’m more than just a friend. Give me a memory I can use. Take me by the hand and while we do what lovers do. Matters how it ends. This is my last night with you. Hold me like I’m more than just a friend, give me a memory I can use. Take me by the hand and while we do what lovers do. Matters how it ends so much.

(Kristina stops playing the piano)

(cheers and applause)

(Taylor and Kristina hug and then, they take a bow while everyone’s cheering and applauding for them)

Principal Ablin: (walks back onstage congratulating Taylor and Kristina on their performance) Taylor and Kristina Ladies and Gentlemen. Bravo. (Applauds with the other audience members while Taylor and Kristina continue their bows)

(cheers and applause continue)

Hayden: YEAH TAYLOR AND KRISTINA. (Cheering with everyone else and gets her phone out to take pictures with everyone else)

Everyone; (takes pictures with their phones while Anna-Kat is clapping with the other audience members)

Tara: (during herself taking pictures talks to Katie and touches her back) damn.

Katie: I know they sound so good. (to Anna-Kat) Did you like it?

Anna-Kat: (talks while clapping) They did great. Yay. (Her and Katie continue clapping for Taylor and Kristina with the other audience members)

(Taylor and Kristina take a bow while Katie and Anna-Kat are clapping with the other audience members and everyone who’s part of the Otto family taking pictures with their phones especially Greg, Oliver, Carly, Sonny, Sam, Molly, Elizabeth, Jason, Josslyn, Michael, Pam, Dwight, Angela, Kelly, Phyllis, Meredith, Kevin, Oscar, Michael, Jan, Holly, Erin, Andy, Darryl and everyone else that has their phones out)

Sam: that was awesome.

Kristina: Thanks. Taylor and I definitely killed it.

Taylor: That’s right. (Her and Kristina high five)

Oliver: You guys were awesome. Congratulations.

Kristina: Thank you Oliver.

Tara: very awesome.

Michael: what a blast.

Pam: loved it.

Elizabeth: absolutely.

Jason: wow. You guys were awesome.

Erin: like totally awesome.

Drew: yeah. Get into the whole world. (Laughs)

Carly: I think they did great. So yeah. Anna-Kat and Katie were clapping with the other audience members while the rest of us had our phones out taking pictures.

Sam: Yeah. I was too.

Molly: So was I.

Tara: me too.

Elizabeth: So did I. I did take my phone out for pictures. It was a great show. And after the performance from Taylor and Kristina all of us taking pictures with our phones.

Kiki: Yeah. I definitely took a picture with my phone too.

Ava: So did I. We love all of this. It sounds like my husband and I having sex.

(all laugh)

Carly: alright gang. We just took 50 photos from our phones which is so happy.

(everyone cheers)

(the party at the Otto house)

(8:30 PM)

Katie: I just want to make a toast.

(everyone raises their glasses for Katie’s toast)

Katie: to Taylor and Kristina on their concert. congratulations.

Everyone: (cheering and applauding)

Katie: Cheers.

Everyone: Cheers. (Cheering and applauding while they’re clinking each other’s glasses)

(when cake was ready)

(8:45 PM)

Katie: Alright. Everyone ready?

Everyone: YES.

Katie: 1,2,3.

Everyone: Happy concert day to you, happy concert day to you. Happy concert day dear Taylor and Kristina, happy concert day to you. (Cheers and applause)

Katie: alright cake time.

(everyone has their piece of cake)

(distinct conversations)

Anna-Kat: mama

Katie: yes sweetie,

Anna-Kat: can I go on the iPad?

Katie: since you were well behaved at the concert, you definitely can go on the iPad.

Anna-Kat: yay. Thanks mama. (Both hug) you’re my favorite person.

Katie: aw you’re welcome. You’re my favorite person too.

Tara: so then Riley was trying to do the sing and then she was like, uh do I love singing cause if I sound like so? Damn.

(everyone laughing hysterically)

## References

v • e • d *American Housewife*  episodes