Like A Virgin

**Brittany**: "*Well, Bella is a bitch–*"
**Santana**: "*–as always.*"
**Brittany**: "*She thinks she’s the Madonna of the New Directions! Isn’t that the most absurd thing you’ve heard all year?*"
**Brody**: "*But… what has Madonna got to do with it?”*"
**Andy**: "*Professor Posthuma made Madonna the theme of this week’s assignment. We’re supposed to sing a couple of her songs individually and as a group. He hasn’t told us which songs we can pick because he wanted to wait until you are back in class on Monday.*"
— Brittany, Santana, Brody and Andy having a discussion.
**Like a Virgin** by *Madonna* is featured in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It is sung by Brody and Scott, Brittany and Santana, and Andy and Patrick in 1995. The song is a response to all the sexual tensions that certain members of the Music Club felt towards another (Brody and Scott, Patrick and Andy, Brittany and Santana), which led to them having sex with each other. The song was sung by all of them during their foreplay.

The song starts with Brody and Scott, followed by Patrick and Andy while Brittany and Santana join the song a bit later on. The song takes place in three different locations. However, it is still sung by all of them, and is heard as a full song.

## History

### Visiting Brody at the infirmary

**Scott**: "*It’s a good thing we came by to spend our Friday night with you. You didn’t seriously think that Patrick, Brittany and I would be celebrating without you in the Hufflepuff Basement?*"
**Brittany**: "*It’s not much of a party without you. Scott, Patrick and I were planning to visit you earlier today, but we crossed paths with Andy and Santana and after we had told them where we were headed, they asked if they could join us.*"
— Scott and Brittany talking to Brody about their visit.
It all began when Scott, Patrick, Brittany, Andy and Santana visited Brody, who was sent to the infirmary after after he fell of a broomstick. Thankfully for him, Professor Snape attended his practise session and prevented his fall in becoming his death, but the impact did break his arm and he had to be treated by Madam Pomfrey in order to heal his bones. Every two hours he was forced to drink the antidote which tasted bad. After Brody refused, Madam Pomfrey was forced to anesthetize him each time he had to drink his antidote.

Brody his friends sneaked into the infirmary at night after Madam Pomfrey went to her chambers for the night, after informing him that she'd be there in two hours for his next dose and adviced him to get some sleep. Patrick, Santana, Andy, Brittany and Scott all stood around Brody's bed and had a discussion about Music Club and how it was Madonna week before it was revealed that Santana had to retrieve "it" while the others helped Brody to get out of his bed after Scott had given him a clean shirt to put on. No one gave Brody a straight answer when he asked what "it" was.

### Drinking outside and splitting up

**Brody**: "*The ‘it’ was liquor? How did you manage to get that, Santana? You know, I don’t even want to know. It probably has to do with your list of connections.*"
**Santana**: "*That’s right. Now be quiet, Brody, and let them help you get out of bed. We want to actually drink the liquor when it is still cold.*"
— Brody figuring out that Santana has brought alcohol.
Scott, Brittany, Patrick and Andy helped to get Brody on his feet, and then Santana walked back in, telling everyone that she was quicker than she'd expected when she retrieved "it" and Brody saw that it was liquor she had been talking about. They sneaked out of the infirmary and made their way to the courtyard on the grounds of Hogwarts, after they were stuck on the moving stairs for a few minutes, and they sat down together as they drunk the altered version of Firewhiskey Santana purchased from a family friend together.

After a good hour or two, the six of them felt pretty "out of it" due to the alcohol they had consumed and it was decided to head back inside the castle. However, once they set foot inside the school, they all split up into groups of three, and they completely forgot about the others they were with a couple of minutes before. Scott went with Brody, Patrick went with Andy, and Brittany went with Santana. It's a good thing they split up then or else they'd have been caught by none other than Finn Hudson.

### Scott and Brody in the infirmary

Scott led Brody back to the infirmary and put him back on his bed. Brody tried to pull his shirt over his head but, due to his bandaged arm, had a lot of difficulties with it, so Scott decided to help him out. After he pulled Brody's shirt over his head, the first thing that immediately came to his mind was to rub his back because he felt guilty that Brody apparently had strained his back when they snuck into the infirmary a few hours earlier, even though Brody lied and told them that he felt fine.

During the massage, Scott confided into his best friend that he felt curious about gay sex, and the moaning sounds his Hufflepuff friend was making actually caused him an erection. Brody, who immediately knew what was wrong when his best friend pulled away, was blushing and refused to meet his eyes as he tried to cover his crotch awkwardly, felt even more daring than ever, and actually told him that he was willing to show him how gay sex worked. Scott eventually told him that he wanted to experiment with him, and they started to kiss each other before ensuing in their night of passion.

### Andy and Patrick in the Potions classroom

Andy and Patrick ended up in the Potions classroom because, unbeknownst to everyone but Brody, Patrick hired Andy as his tutor and he followed private lessons with him. Even though Professor Snape hadn't given them homework their previous lesson, Andy thought this was the perfect moment to take a quiz and test Patrick's knowledge to see if he did improve through his lessons. They sat onto Professor Snape's desk together and Andy started to ask him questions to get him to pick whichever ingredient out of all the ones he listed that did not belonged to the potions they talked about.

It didn't escape his notice that Patrick's gaze kept lingering on his lips as he asked the questions he wanted answered, and still feeling rather bold due to the amount of Firewhiskey he had drunk before, he asked if Patrick wanted to make this quiz "more interesting" and when he said yes, Andy told him that whenever he got an answer correct he'd give him a kiss on his lips. Feeling properly motivated, Patrick managed to get the next five out of ten questions right, and when the quiz was over, Patrick told him that he rather enjoyed this new teaching method. Andy then said he had even more "teaching methods" up his sleeve before they kissed each other roughly, ripped each other's clothes off, and ended up having sex on the teacher's desk all night long.

### Brittany and Santana in the kitchens

Brittany and Santana went all the way down to the kitchens where Brittany told Santana she felt scared to actually lose her virginity, and in order to comfort her girlfriend and to keep her thoughts otherwise preoccupied, she offered that the two of them should make a cake together. After agreeing that now was the perfect time to do so, all of the house-elves being fast asleep, and they grabbed the ingredients they needed to bake a delicious strawberry-flavored cake, and got to work.

Baking the cake went fine for the first ten minutes but after that they started to have some light-hearted fun together. In a good mood, Brittany smeared cake frost all over Santana's face who in turn did the same to her. They started to kiss each other and Santana made sure to let Brittany feel at peace. Santana talked about the subject of Brittany losing her virginity once more; she wanted to make love to her girlfriend but she wanted to be absolutely sure that she was really, really okay with it. Brittany told her that even though she still felt scared, she trusted her to make her feel good and the couple ended up having intercourse for the first time in their relationship.

### Getting caught and house point deducation

The next morning was embarrassing for all of them because Professor Sprout, Madam Pomfrey and Professor Snape caught Brittany and Santana, Brody and Scott, and Andy and Patrick respectively in the act. They were all punished; a huge amount of 600 points were deducted from both Hufflepuff and Slytherin House (200 per person), and they had to serve detention for an entire month together. The loss of this many housepoints caused a lot of anger to be directed to the six of them, especially when no one was willing to tell them what they had done to lose them.

Afterwards, Brody and Scott and Andy and Patrick promised to each other that it would never happen again. However, Brody and Scott eventually ended up as friends-with-benefits. Patrick and Andy decided to keep it a one-night stand, a secret that they will live with for the rest of their lives.

## Lyrics

**Brody (with Scott):**

I made it through the wilderness

Somehow I made it through

I (didn't know how lost I was until I found you)

**Patrick and Andy:**

I was beat, incomplete

I'd been had

I was sad and blue

**Scott and Brody:**

But you made me feel

Yeah, you made me feel

Shiny and new

**Patrick and Andy:**

Like a virgin

Touched for the very first time

**Brody, Patrick and Santana:**

Like a virgin

When your heart beats

Next to mine

**Brittany:**

Gonna give you all my love, boy

My fear is fading fast

I've

**Brittany with Santana:**

Been saving it all for you,

Cause only love can last

**Patrick and Andy:**

You're so fine and you're mine

Make me strong

Yeah, you make me bold

**Brody with Scott:**

Oh, your love thawed out

Yeah, your love thawed out

What was scared and cold

**Brody, Patrick, Andy, and Santana (Santana):**

Like a virgin

Touched for the very first time (Hey, yeah)

Like a virgin

With your heartbeat

Next to mine

**Andy, Brody, Patrick and Scott (Brittany):**

Ooh (Woah)

Ooh (**Santana:** Woah, oh, oh) (Woah)

Ooh (**Santana:** Yeah, yeah, yeah) (Woah)

Ooh (**Santana:** Woah-oh)

**Santana:**

You're so fine and you're mine

**Santana with Brody:**

I'll be yours

Till the end of time

Cause you made me feel

Yeah, you made me feel

I've nothing to hide

**Patrick, Scott, and Brittany (Santana):**

Like a virgin (You make me feel like a virgin)

Touched for the very first time (Oh, baby)

**Brody, Patrick, Brittany, and Santana:**

Like a virgin

When your heart beats

Next to mine

Like a virgin

**Brody and Scott (Santana):**

Ooh, ooh, like a virgin (Hey)

**Brody and Scott (with Santana):**

Feels (so good inside)

**Patrick (Santana):**

When you hold me (When you hold me)

When your heart beats (**Andy:** When your heart beats)

When you love me (When you love me, baby)

**Scott and Brittany:**

Oh-oh, woah

**Brody, Scott, Patrick, Andy and Brittany (Santana):**

Woah, oh, oh (Yeah)

**Brody, Patrick, and Brittany:**

Oh, oh, yeah

**Brody, Scott, Patrick, Andy and Brittany (Santana):**

(Oh) Like a virgin

## Trivia

* Andy had relationship issues with his boyfriend Zayn and they took a little break from each other during this time.
* Scott cheated on his girlfriend Malia Tate. Patrick and Brody had broken up with their respective boyfriends Theo Raeken and Jackson Whittemore earlier that year and were single when this event occured.
* This was the first time Scott ever had sex with a man (he has had already slept with women before). Brody and Scott both took turns into fucking each other and getting fucked. This was the start of when they realized they felt more than friendly feelings for each other and they eventually ended up as friends-with-benefits.
* Jackson eventually found out that Brody had slept with Scott and was pissed off. He started to dislike Scott McCall heavily after this even though he already broke up with Brody.
* Patrick and Andy were able to keep their one-night stand a secret from everyone except Brody, Brittany, Santana and Scott.
* Brittany is the only one who actually lost her virginity after this number.
* Brittany and Santana get caught by Professor Sprout in the kitchen, Brody and Scott by Madam Pomfrey in the infirmary, and Patrick and Andy by Professor Snape in the Potions classroom. They were completely naked and drunk when they got caught the following morning.
* Getting caught has cost Hufflepuff 4,800 and Slytherin 2,500 points. Hufflepuff and Slytherin dropped from the first and second place to fourth and third place respectively, making members of their Houses extremely angry at them for the rest of the year especially when no one was willing to tell them what they had done in order to lose so many points.
* It was the biggest deduction of points for both Hufflepuff and Slytherin House and that's not the only thing: the huge amount of points that were deducted actually put both Houses into the negative numbers for the first time in the history of the school. Neither House was able to climb back up into the positive numbers.
* Prefect Finn Hudson banned Brittany, Brody and Patrick from the weekly Karaoke Nights. Instead he supervised them as he forced them to do chores all over the castle for the remainder of the year. He intensified Quidditch Practise for Patrick, Scott and Brittany as well until the end of the season.