The Gilbertium Caliphate

King Zachaeus I (179 BT - ? BT)

The **Gilbertium Caliphate** (283 BT - 170 BT) was the first of two galactic caliphates established after the divorce of Gilbert. The Caliphate was ruled by the Gilbertium Dynasty (Gilbonese: zviciocnovi kukziv, "Collectors of Paper"). The first Caliph, King Gilbert I, rose to power after gaining vast supporters, adhering to his ideology of the immorality of divorce. Born in an unknown region of Smithfield Pork Guild space, Gilbert and his followers discovered new galactic hyperlanes in 283 BT, leading to the "promised lands" of the Southwest Galactic Region, where the Caliphate was official established.

## History

### The Reign of King Gilbert I

After settling on the prosperous world of Gilbertanzo, the Caliphate faced a few daunting obstacles. First and foremost, to ensure the hyperlanes would remain unbeknownst to outsiders, the Gilbertites needed to remain isolated. Though they succeeded in this goal, the consequence was that Gilbert had to construct his Galactic Caliphate from scratch. Secondly, in the region of Gilbertanzo where they had settled, a seasonal outbreak of the *Georja Virus* proved detrimental to the caliphate, as but 40 of the original 286 Gilbertities remained after the first round passed over the settlers. The subsequent "Trail of Tears," the epic migration from the precarious regions of the *Georja* to a far-off mountain range, is documented in Gilbert's autobiography, "*In Search of Allah."* After ascending the mountaintop of the highest peak (they had observed the Saqifah perished in cold weather), the settlers constructed *Gilbert's Penthouse,* which would serve as the Caliphate's seat of power for decades to come.

The mountain range was not chosen simply to avoid the *Scourge of Georgia*, indeed, it proved also to possess invaluable resources towards the construction of ships, planetary districts, and other necessities of a galactic empire. For the bulk of King Gilbert I's reign, the Caliphate focused on generating infrastructure and societal framework in accordance with Allah. With a quality of life far surpassing that of measly surrounding empires, the Gilbertites proclaimed King Gilbert I as "The New Prophet," with some uttering his name in the same light as Muhammad.

This proclamation, however, would serve as the downfall of the Caliphate. Zealous Gilbertites flooded the outside regions of the galaxy against Gilbertium Law, exposing the newfound reaches of space. Within three weeks King Gilbert I was assassinated, the undefended colonies raided by pirates, and vast numbers of Gilbertites enslaved. At the time, citizens of the Caliphate blamed the Guong Ming Space Command for inciting and/or committing these heinous crimes (historians dismiss these foul rumors) and appealed to Muslims galaxy-wide for assistance.

### The Reign of King Gilbert II

On his deathbed, King Gilbert I nominated his youngest son, Gilbert, as his successor to the throne. The galactic appeal to outside Muslims (known as the Great Aalxhimer Address) would prove vital to the Caliphate's survival in the decades to come. Indeed, within months, multitudinous Muslims emigrated in flight of religious persecution. Many of these immigrants would fight to retake and rebuild the razed colonies in the name of Allah. While his father's reign was marked as a prosperous age of exploration, *Gilbert the Retarded's* was plagued by sheer turmoil and strife. Desperately, the Caliphate would try (and succeed) to stay afloat for the entirety of his reign.