Batman (Thomas Wayne) vs. Spider-Man Noir

## Description

*Two dark and gritty alternate reality versions of two iconic animal-themed masked heroes are about to clash in a fight to the death. Who will win, Thomas Wayne as the Dark Knight, or the black-clad Spidey of the 1930s?*

## Interlude

Hiro: Batman and Spider-Man. Having greatly influenced the universes of DC and Marvel Comics since 1939 and 1962 respectively, these two classic childhood superheroes have fought for the greater justice, defending their cities from all sorts of evils while making sure to never cross the line by taking another life in the process.

**MBStarscream: But that's not quite the case in DC and Marvel's Flashpoint and Noir universes. In those dimensions, Bats and Spidey have their edge amped up a bit with guns on their side ready to pump crime's guts fulla lead.**

Hiro: Thomas Wayne, the Batman of the Flashpoint timeline.

**MBStarscream: And Peter Parker of Earth-90214, better known as the Spider-Man Noir.**

Hiro: I'm Hiro Hamada.

**MBStarscream: I'm MBStarscream.**

Hiro: And it's our job to examine both warriors' strength, abilities, weapons, and weaknesses to see who would win in a fight.

## Batman (Thomas Wayne)

Hiro: In the original timeline, Thomas Wayne was a doctor who used his connections as CEO of Wayne Enterprises to improve Gotham City. But fate had other plans when Thomas and his wife Martha were murdered in Crime Alley and were survived by their son Bruce Wayne, who became the vigilante Batman. But when the Reverse-Flash disrupted the natural flow of the DCU's main continuity and initiated the events of Flashpoint, the past was radically changed.

**MBStarscream: Rather than Thomas and Martha Wayne being gunned down by Joe Chill, it was young Bruce that died in Crime Alley that fateful night, leaving Thomas Wayne alive and broken. Dr. Wayne aged into a very bitter, argumentative, and lonely man, who owned a chain of hotels and Wayne Casino. He took on the Batman mantle himself, but unlike Bruce has no qualms about killing.**

Hiro: He also was able to get the City’s police force privatized under Wayne Enterprises, giving him greater access to day-to-day police operations and information. When Thomas catches a criminal, his preferred method of dealing with them is to throw them off of a tall building, to their deaths. In this way, he has killed Hush, Scarecrow and Poison Ivy, among others. The one criminal that Thomas has not been able to bring himself to kill is the Joker. In this timeline, the Joker is none other than Thomas’s wife, Martha Wayne.

**MBStarscream: In both the Pre-Flashpoint, Flashpoint, and Post-Flashpoint timelines, Thomas Wayne is an accomplished physician and skilled surgeon. It is said that he is responsible for saving thousands of lives personally. Bruce speaking of his father states at one point: "My father saved the lives of over four thousand people, one at a time... with his bare hands and his mind." In the Flashpoint timeline, it is shown that he is able to treat and care for deadly injuries, such as Barry's third degree burns over seventy five percent of his body, with minimal medical equipment.**

Hiro: Also in the Flashpoint Timeline, Thomas Wayne additionally uses his medical expertise to his advantage for combat purposes. For example in his confrontation with Barry Allen who had previously lost his powers, Thomas is shown capable of applying pressure points and breaking Barry's finger and nearly breaking Barry's arm simply to gain information. Additionally, Thomas coats some of his batarangs with a substance known as Etomidate, a drug used by Medical professionals which has anesthetic and amnestic properties and hypnotic effects.

**MBStarscream: It is said of Thomas Wayne, in the Flashpoint timeline, that he is the greatest tactician in the world. It is for this reason that Cyborg specifically sought him out to assist in the resistance against Wonder Woman and Aquaman. Cyborg also mentions that Batman is feared and respected among the world's superhumans and criminal elements, and that his legend is so built up that it is falsely believed that Thomas is invincible.**

Hiro: Thomas in the Flashpoint timeline demonstrates peak athletic strength and combat skills. He can effortlessly lift a grown man above his head, which is demonstrated in his first confrontation with Barry. Also in that scene, it is shown that Thomas is able to throw Barry with a single arm, with enough force to shatter a wooden table to pieces. Later in the Flashpoint story, Thomas is shown of being very combat proficient by fighting and defeating well armed and elite soldiers trained to fight superhumans such as Superman. He is shown to have the strength to kick down a wooden door, shattering it into pieces and breaking the door frame and closely surrounding walls, all with a single kick.

**MBStarscream: It is also implied in the final battle that he is capable enough to fight against Amazon warriors as well as Atlantian soldiers, though no such scenes are actually shown. Regarding endurance and pain tolerance, Thomas is shown to be capable of withstanding heavy beatings, such as the prolonged physical assault given to him at the hands of the Joker, who was wielding a hammer. This is all the more impressive as Thomas' batsuit contains no apparent armor or protective qualities. He is also shown being capable of withstanding and recovering from metahuman assaults from Killer Croc and Reverse-Flash, and in both cases killing his attacker.**

Hiro: In the Flashpoint timeline, Thomas’s Batsuit is not shown to have any special defensive capabilities. However, in the Flashpoint animated film, Thomas is able to use his gauntlets to ward off attacks by the villain named Yo-Yo. As such, it probably does provide some protection, though whether it is as good as Bruce’s is a matter of conjecture.

**MBStarscream: Thomas’ utility belt also seems less robust, carrying a flashlight, sharpened batarangs, a grapple line, and at least one syringe. The one syringe showed, contains phenytoin sodium, an antiepileptic, which slows brain activity. It is likely, though not known, that Thomas carries syringes with other drugs and medicinal chemicals. In the Flashpoint animated film, Thomas carries a pair of .45 automatics, and he uses one to kill Eobard Thawne – in the comic book, he uses a broad sword that was taken from an Amazon.**

Hiro: Thomas’ Batcave is also more spartanly equipped than Bruce’s, though he does have access to a large computer, a lab, his own Batmobile and Batplane, and a glass display dome containing Joe Chill’s .45 automatic. Before he even became Batman, he managed to find Joe Chill and kill him with his bare hands. As Batman, he killed Hush, Poison Ivy, and Scarecrow AND managed to hurt and even kill Reverse-Flash, someone able to keep up with the normal Flash.

**MBStarscream: However, he is kind of...insane. Even he admits he has a few screws loose, and has a really bad temper. Plus, his suit isn't really meant for protection. But someone who's name is Batman isn't a pushover, so stay out of Thomas Wayne's way when he's on the warpath.**

*Batman: (To Barry Allen) I used to be a doctor. Mention my dead son again, and I will break out my surgical instruments.*

*Barry holds his hand in pain before Thomas kicks him away.*

## Spider-Man Noir

Hiro: It was the 1930s, and the world was locked in the grip of the Great Depression. Times were tough and people had to get tougher as a result.

**MBStarscream: During this harsh period, Peter Parker was raised by his aunt and uncle, May and Ben Parker. They raised him to believe that good always triumphed over evil, as May and Ben were both social activists. But this would inevitably be Ben Parker's doom.**

Hiro: His actions brought the wrath of crime boss Norman Osborn, so he sent his enforcers consisting of alternate versions of key Spider-Man villains such as Kraven the Hunter, the Chameleon, the Vulture, who was a sideshow freak and cannibal, among many others.

**MBStarscream: Norman's minions beat the shit out of Ben, at which point they had the Vulture *eat him alive.* Needless to say, the murder of Uncle Ben didn't sit well with Peter, so he sought justice for what those bastards did to his uncle.**

Hiro: Norman also tried to attack Aunt May and Peter, but they were saved by reporter Ben Urich. This subsequently led to Peter becoming Urich's protégé at the Daily Bugle, where he would write about those under threat by Norman. After receiving a tip that was actually intended for Urich, Peter went to a warehouse where a bunch of Norman's men were unloading stolen shipments of antiques.

**MBStarscream: One of the shipments contained an old creepy spider statue. While Peter was spying on them, Norman's men dropped the spider statue like idiots and it broke open, releasing a cornucopia of spiders in the process.**

Hiro: The spiders started crawling all over one of the henchmen, biting him everywhere. While Peter was watching the scene unfold with well justified horror, one of the spiders managed to climb up to where he was hiding and bit him on the hand, causing him to pass out and dream of a spider god. After waking up, Peter discovered he possessed arachnid superpowers. Donning a mask, Peter confronted Norman in his home in order to get him to give up his hold over the city.

**MBStarscream: However, Peter was shocked to discover Urich, who was revealed to have been blackmailing Osborn with his information on the mob boss in exchange for fueling his drug habit. Angered, Peter left Urich. Upon returning home, Peter created a costume based on his uncle's World War I-era airman uniform and became the vigilante, Spider-Man Noir.**

Hiro: This incarnation of Spider-Man has the same powers as his classical counterpart: enhanced strength, speed, reflexes, durability and agility proportionate of a spider. His most famous is his webbing, which he shoots out of his hands. It not only can be used as a offensive weapon, but also can be used to swing around the place and travel far distances.

**MBStarscream: His other most famous is the Spider-Sense. It warns him of any sort of danger that is near him, and makes a tingling feeling when it's active. With it, he's nearly invincible against others who try to stealth his ass. Ironically though, he's pretty damn good at that as well.**

Hiro: Yes, Starscream, Noir is a better stealth attacker than most Spider-Men. His dark clothing allow him to blend in with the shadows perfectly and take out opponents with ease. And he's not afraid to be lethal, though he only does it when he absolutely has to. Or is having a bad day. Either one works.

**MBStarscream: He also has the normal other Spidey powers: Climbing on walls, somehow not barfing while he's swinging around, and other stuff. Oh, and most likely two dozen girlfriends. That too.**

Hiro: And if he's not beating up his foes with just his hands, Peter has various lethal weapons at his disposal, such as pistol revolvers, a tommy gun, and even a sonic ray gun used to fight off symbiotes. He has not only beaten his universe's versions of Norman, Vulture, and Hammerhead, he's also helped save the multiverse twice: one time with three other Spider-Men against Mysterio, and another with a whole load of Spider-Men.

**MBStarscream: He is a little reckless, though. Sometimes he rushes into battle without a plan and even doesn't listen to his Spider-Sense when he doesn't think danger is around. Plus, he's got a serious edge problem. Like, crawling in my skin-type edge.**

Hiro: But Peter is still a deadly foe for anyone to face, and should still be feared as the Spider-Man Noir.

*Spider-Man Noir: Wherever I go, the wind follows. And the wind... smells like rain.*

## Fatal Fiction

*Mario flips a coin.*

Hiro: Well, Thomas Wayne takes territory, but does he really have what it takes to survive against the spider-themed vigilante of the Noir universe?

**MBStarscream: All Peter has to do is say Martha, doesn't he?**

Hiro: ...

*SMACK!*

Hiro: **Bad. Meme.**

*Somewhere in* *Gotham City*

Nighttime in Gotham City had fallen. A tall, thickset, muscular man with short cropped, graying hair was walking through this city, looking for more criminals to punish. He wore a familiar bat-shaped suit, cape included, except the cowl had eye slots that glowed a murderous red, his utility belt was red, and the oval beneath the bat-symbol on his chest was also red. Another difference is that the shoulders of his batsuit had spikes that stuck up, probably for decoration.

This only meant one thing: Thomas Wayne was on the hunt. And by Thomas Wayne, I mean the **Batman**.

But he wasn't the only dark-colored edgy vigilante lurking in this city.

Before Thomas could react, something mysteriously pulled him into an alleyway. Or some*one*. A dark figure stood in front of him. "Who are you?! Show yourself!" Thomas said as he pulled out his guns. "I'm the guy who's gonna kick your ass." The shadow replied. He stepped forward, revealing himself to be **Spider-Man Noir**, and pulled out his own pair of guns. "Now let's dance, old man."

**FIGHT!**

Both pulled out their guns and started unloading on one another, with the bullets bouncing off of each other and onto the ground. They kept doing this until they both ran out of ammo, upon which they said "Damn!" simultaneously and ran at each other. Spidey got the first hit, punching Bats in the gut. Bats retaliated with a kick to the shins and an uppercut, throwing Noir back a bit. He then grabbed Noir's head and slammed it on his knee.

Noir stumbled back a bit, then shook his head and said, "Damn, I thought this would be over quicker." before shooting a web at Bats, pulling him in towards him and punching him square in the face. Batman threw down a smoke bomb to blind Noir, then grappled onto a rooftop. Spidey gave chase, swinging up there to chase down the edgier Batman. On the rooftop, Batman threw another smoke bomb, but Noir avoided it and jumped in front of Bats, sweep-kicking him onto the floor and then webbing him there.

Thomas Wayne struggled to get out as Noir taunted him, saying "Hey, you need any help?". Batman then finally burst out of the web like a gorilla breaking free from a hunter's net. "No thanks, I got it." He said as he kicked Spidey away and jumped through a broken sunroof into the building. Spidey followed him in, and once inside he noticed it was pitch black. "Where could that old man be..." He said as his Spider-Sense suddenly went off. "Bingo." he said to himself as he turned around and grabbed Batman's leg, then threw him to the side.

"I guess you didn't know about my Spider-Sense. Bet you don't have one, though!" He said as he leaped towards Thomas. The Dark Knight tackled Noir mid-air and crashed through the floor, both vigilantes falling through as they hit the bottom floor. Grunting, Batman got back up and found his opponent was nowhere to be seen. "I may not have powers..." he said as he pulled out his flashlight, "But I don't need any." He then heard a thump as he pointed the light in Noir's direction, who was blinded for a second, allowing Thomas to kick him out of the window and back into the streets.

Spidey pulled back out his guns as Thomas jumped out of the window and tried to shoot his opponent. Noir hid behind a bench, blocking the bullets. He then used his grappling hook to swing over Spidey's head, jump off the wall behind Noir, then landed on him. Thomas then pulled out his Amazonian sword and attempted to stab Noir, but he grabbed the Caped Crusader and tossed him off. "That's it! Screw respecting your elders!" he said as he pulled a manhole out of the ground and tossed it at Wayne. He simply ducked under it and shot at Noir, hitting him in the arm.

Both then ran at each other and tried to punch each other, with their fists colliding. Noir used his other arm to uppercut Bats, while Batman punched Noir in the stomach. Both stumbled back a bit, but Noir was the first to recover and threw Batman into the air, then started covering him with webs, hanging him. As he struggled to escapet, Noir grabbed his guns and said, "Well, it's been fun. Not really, but still." He then started shooting Batman, filling him with lead. He then shot him in the head, killing Thomas Wayne instantly.

Spider-Man Noir brushed his hand and thought to himself "Another job well done." He shot a web onto a building and swung off to find a way out of this weird universe.

**FATALITY!**

## Results

**MBStarscream: Now that's what I call a fight between a bat and a spider!**

Hiro: Thomas Wayne may have been the smarter and more experienced fighter, but those were the only edges he had, as Spider-Man Noir outclassed his opponent in terms of strength, speed and durability. Plus, Batman is more or less still just a human that can be killed by conventional means.

**MBStarscream: It didn't help that Noir's Spider-Sense easily countered Batman's stealth, making it useless for Batman and having him relay on combat, where Noir is superior in.**

Hiro: And while Batman *has* killed Reverse-Flash twice, he simply caught him off guard both times. Noir, on the other hand, helped take down a god-like Mysterio with three other Spider-Men, which is far better than what any Batman can do.

**MBStarscream: Batman just couldn't *hang in there*.**

Hiro: Spider-Man Noir wins.

## Advantages

### Spider-Man Noir (Winner)

* Stronger
* Faster
* More durable
* Spider-Sense hindered Batman's stealth
* Better combatant
* More impressive feats of defeating deadlier foes