Pu Li Ru La

***Pu Li Ru La*** is the third episode of Just Bad Games, released on June 21, 2019. In this episode, Shane and Adam discuss the bizarre nature and poor translation of the 1991 arcade game *Pu Li Ru La*.

## Transcript

**Shane**: "Pyu Rye Rho La".

**Adam**: "Pu Li"-

**Shane**: "Pu Ri"?

**Adam**: Nope. "Pu Li Ru..."

**Shane**: I think it's *Pu Li Ru La*.

**Adam**: *Pu Li Ru La*, developed by Taito and released to arcades in Japan and North America in 1991. It plays like a typical beat-em-up style game.

**Shane**: But when it comes to looks, this title is amazing! Real-time 2-D shadows, reflections, tons of sprites on screen at once without clipping, and lots of great animations.

**Adam**: So, why is it on this show?

**Shane**: Because folks, *Pu Li Ru La* is a beautiful, spectacular nightmare.

**Adam**: Story. The game takes place in "Radishland". Quick note: there are no radishes in Radishland.

**Shane**: This vegetable-free land is made up of several towns, all of which live harmoniously due to a group of timekeepers turning keys. One of these guys, right here.

**Adam**: These timekeepers ensure that time flows properly, but unfortunately, that's all about to end.

**Shane**: The key is stolen, time is disrupted, and crazy crap starts happening everywhere.

**Adam**: You play as one of two children, Zac or Mel, who receive magic sticks from an old man. Together, they must use these sticks to restore time to the great and powerful land of radishes.

**Shane**: And what do these sticks do?

**Adam**: Oh! Well, they turn enemies into puppies, platypuses, piggies, and a whole bunch of other animals.

**Shane**: Why does this happen?

**Adam**: You think you have questions now? Buckle up, everyone. It's about to get real strange.

**Shane**: Look, this game seems to be pretty normal at the start. The first level has some weird imagery, like crazy-looking enemies and a very messed-up looking boss, but it's when you get to the second level and hit our second stage boss that we start to dive into madness.

**Adam**: **What is that**.

**Shane**: It's all face!

**Adam**: Just face.

**Shane**: It's using its nose as a pogo stick!

**Boss**: Sexy!

**Adam**: Wait, what is it saying there?

**Boss**: *(slowed-down)* Sexy!

**Shane**: Did- did it say "sexy"? Once you beat this boss, you get to the third level, and here is when the game developers lost their damn minds.

**Adam**: We're gonna start the level and just take this in.

*(The level begins with a woman as a flag, and a screaming woman's face lunging towards the screen)*

**Shane**: What just happened?

**Adam**: I don't know?

**Shane**: Is that woman a flag?

**Adam**: I'm gonna say yes.

**Shane**: When we move a little further into the level, we see several doors. I want to take a moment to remind you *Pu Li Ru La* was released in several regions.

**Adam**: This is the censored North American version.

**Shane**: And *this* is the uncensored Japanese version.

**Adam**: LEGS! I'm noticing some subtle differences here.

**Shane**: What could possibly be behind that door? Oh. Look, of course, it's a pink elephant.

**Adam**: And if you peer closer, the universe.

*(eerie sci-fi sting)*

Take a few short steps to the right, and bam! Licking nun.

*(slurp)*

**Shane**: It's like they're pulling ideas out of a hat with no rhyme or reason for anything that is happening.

**Adam**: Maybe they were on some illicit substance.

**Shane**: What makes you say that?

**Adam**: I walked slightly to the right. *(woman smoking seen in the level background)*

**Shane**: Uh, you know what? I think you might be correct.

**Adam**: The enemies seem to get stranger, the backgrounds of the levels get wilder, and all of this is one single level.

**Shane**: Further into the game, things go from weird to dark.

**Adam**: What do you mean? Look, it's a bunch of cute, friendly little flowers.

**Shane**: Sure, piled up against **a wall of dead bodies!**

**Adam**: What kind of boss would punctuate this landscape of death?

**Shane**: The Lord of the Codpiece!

**Adam**: That's stunning.

**Shane**: And it's sharp!

**Adam**: He literally humps the air and thrusts his magnificent weapon directly at your character.

**Shane**: Another little reminder: they took the legs out of that other stage because they thought it was too adult, but here? Thrust away, good sir. Thrust!

**Adam**: The bosses don't get any less weird or horrifying, because Mr. Planet here has a-

**Shane**: **WALL OF EYES! EEEUGH!!!**

**Adam**: It's a mess. All the visuals have no sense of connection. It's like someone was mindlessly drawing anything and everything, and was never told to stop.

**Shane**: The crazy look of everything also works against you when you're trying to actually play this game. It seems impossible to line up your attacks.

**Adam**: You'll miss again and again as the game sucks all your health away.

**Shane**: Oh, you've got special moves, like a magic attack, but it's never the same thing twice.

**Adam**: One attack has Grimace strut around the screen and perform the magic dance of death.

**Shane**: Another has a giant microwave fall from the sky, with a superhero wearing a plastic wrap cape? He folds all your foes into plasticky spheres, tossing them into the microwave, and then-

**Shane and Adam**: EVERYONE IS PUPPIES!

*(children cheer)*

**Adam**: The best special move is when two players hit the magic attack button at the same time.

**Shane**: Some crazy-looking character runs on the screen and-

*(massive explosion)*

**Shane**: -kills everyone.

**Adam**: But bad gameplay isn't the only problem here. The story is obviously nuts, but so too is the dialogue. Here are some choice cuts read verbatim directly from the cutscenes.

**Shane**: Shane and Adam present: "Poor Translation Theater"!

**Man**: "That town is so head that no persons can live in, and the town people have escaped".

**Zac**: "Ah so... I understand. Thank you".

**Pig**: "This town is controlled by the dream of a megalomania and all places are such circumstances. Do you wake up a person who is sleeping in the deepest place of the town and have him recover the town"?

**Zac**: "Leave me to do it".

**Platypus**: "We are also troubled with no rain. A fellow called "YU-YU-" sucked up all rains".

**Adam**: It's obvious to us that the translators didn't seem to care much about this game.

**Shane**: And why is that?

**Adam**: Because nothing matters. There's no flow, no sense of logical progression, the gameplay is lacking- there's simply no depth to anything.

**Shane**: What about the music?

*(music excerpt from level 3 is played)*

**Adam**: We're not gonna talk about the music.

**Shane**: If you take everything into consideration, you know what?

**Adam**: What's that?

**Shane**: **IT'S JUST BAD.**