"My Mother Dearest, Part III" (Flock'⁴⁴/ıı)

## Plot

In this episode, we are taken back to a flashback at the Lesenblood nursery where Ilsabellen can be seen peacefully humming on her bed. Suddenly, she receives a call from someone at the door, and she agrees to answer it. Getting out of bed, she walks towards the door and opens it, revealing a nun named Sister Julia. Ilsabellen is shocked to see Sister Julia, as she had not seen her in months since arriving in the program. However, the biggest surprise comes when Sister Julia reveals that Ilsabellen is six months pregnant with a child named Edith. As Ilsabellen walks around her room, she comes across Sister Julia, who inquires about her health and expresses her hope that both mother and child are healthy and well. Ilsabellen assures Sister Julia that she has been diligently following the rules, consuming only healthier foods and abstaining from alcohol and smoking. Curiosity piques Ilsabellen's interest, and she asks Sister Julia about the beauty and charm of newborn babies, reflecting on her own pregnancy. In the midst of her thoughts, Ilsabellen ponders whether her happiness will be complete if she marries a man and lives happily ever after, or if she will be condemned to hell for remaining unmarried when her child is born. Despite these contemplations, she pushes the thoughts aside and yearns for a fairy tale-like happiness for both herself and her child. Sister Julia responds to these musings by explaining her belief that women should marry men and have children in their lives. She expresses concern about Ilsabellen having a child at a young age and without the institution of marriage, believing that raising a child without being married could lead to mental stresses for the child. Sister Julia sees this as a sin, particularly at a young age. However, Ilsabellen rejects this perspective, asserting that her decision is her own and that she sought guidance from Himmler regarding her situation. While Ilsabellen understands Sister Julia's traditional viewpoint, she also desires to explore the vitality and fulfillment that comes with being a woman, regardless of societal expectations and age. She yearns to protect herself and her future children from enemy forces, especially in scenarios where men may be absent or trapped in war. However, Sister Julia's traditional views, influenced by her opposition to communism, lead her to accuse Ilsabellen of being a communist. Sister Julia sees communism as a threat to the traditional perspectives she holds dear. Despite Ilsabellen's own stance against communism, she decides to reveal a truth to Sister Julia.

Weeks ago, she planned to seek answers from Himmler and personally asked him about her situation, hoping to find guidance and understanding. In her conversation with Himmler, Ilsabellen discovers his plan to strengthen the German army and implement new laws for the Third Reich. Himmler observes that the Red Army and USSR have female soldiers who are perceived as weak. In light of this, Himmler wants Ilsabellen to become the first female soldier in the German Army, bestowing upon her the title of "Big Sister of the Third Reich." Despite her young age, Himmler views her as a goddess and believes she possesses the vitality and strength necessary to lead the Aryan race against the perceived threat of subhuman dogs and enemy attacks. This revelation shocks Sister Julia, especially when Ilsabellen tells her that her child is soon to be born. Accepting Himmler's request, Ilsabellen decides to join the League of German Girls (BDM) and undergo rigorous training in the German army, becoming the first female soldier in German history. Sister Julia's worries and shock grow even more pronounced as she contemplates the distressing reality of young girls like Ilsabellen being thrust into the horrors of war at such a tender age. The mere thought of Ilsabellen meeting a tragic end on the battlefield is too much for Sister Julia to bear. However, Ilsabellen's refusal to accept this grim fate stems from her unyielding belief that her body will serve as a protective barrier, shielding her from harm. As Ilsabellen continues her journey towards the mirror, a place where she often seeks solace and engages in introspection, she finds herself engaged in a deep conversation with herself about her ambitious quest to become the first female soldier in the Third Reich. Lost in her thoughts and weighed down by the magnitude of her aspirations, Sister Julia is suddenly startled by an unexpected turn of events. Venturing out of her room with a sense of excitement, Ilsabellen's eyes lock onto Jan Weber.

In that moment, Ilsabellen's mind leaps to the conclusion that Jan must be another participant in the Lesenblood program, desperately searching for a suitable breeding partner. However, this assumption quickly crumbles when Jan presents a photograph of his girlfriend, Jana. To Ilsabellen's astonishment, Jana turns out to be a maid who worked within the program. The striking similarity between the names Jan and Jana, both commencing with the letter "J," adds an intriguing layer of complexity to the situation. As Ilsabellen retraces her steps, making her way back through the labyrinthine hallways, she discovers an inexplicable magnetism towards Jan. She is unable to resist the allure of his undeniable attractiveness and charm. This newfound attraction further entangles Ilsabellen in a web of intricate emotions and circumstances. Despite the distractions and conflicting desires that surge within her, Ilsabellen remains resolute in her determination to stay true to her goals. She comprehends the immense significance of her involvement in the Lesenblood program and her unwavering commitment to becoming the first female soldier in the German Army. With each passing moment, her determination strengthens, propelling her forward. She is prepared to face the formidable challenges and make the necessary sacrifices that lie ahead, ready to leave an indelible mark on history. In this moment of profound self-reflection, Ilsabellen realizes that her journey is not solely about proving her vitality or contributing to Himmler's grand vision. It is also a voyage of self-discovery, a quest to unravel the depths of her own strength and identity as a woman. She comprehends that her choices and actions will not only shape her own future but also impact the future of any potential child she may bear. As she continues navigating the convoluted and seemingly never-ending hallways of the Lesenblood program, Ilsabellen remains undeterred and unwavering in her determination. The intricacies of her situation may present formidable obstacles along her path, but she is prepared to confront them head-on. With her heart brimming with unwavering determination and her mind firmly fixed on her goals, she forges ahead, ready to embrace her destiny and etch her name into the annals of history as the first female soldier in the German Army.

In a flashback to the events in Stalingrad, we find 17-year-old Ilsabellen serving as the only female soldier in the German army. Alongside her future husband, General Georg Schafer, Ilsabellen finds herself in a tense situation. As they come under attack by enemy tanks, Georg orders Ilsabellen to stay behind and makes arrangements to protect her. Despite the danger, Ilsabellen grabs a rifle and proudly displays her strength, determined to prove herself as a German female soldier and evoke jealousy among the Russian soldiers. However, this act draws the attention of the Russian soldiers, who attempt to shoot her. Thankfully, Georg comes to her rescue, his anger fueled by the fear of Ilsabellen getting killed or captured by the Russian army. He orders her to stay hidden with the female nurses while he fights off the enemy. Ilsabellen, using her resourcefulness and a persona named Ilza, manages to defend the city against the Russian army, using her superhuman strength to overpower and eliminate her opponents one by one. The distant sounds of screams echo through the air as she fights relentlessly. During the chaos, Ilsabellen captures a Russian general who surrenders, revealing herself to be a formidable force in the German army. She swiftly inflicts brutal injuries on the Russian soldiers with her own hands, securing a victory for the Germans. However, amidst the carnage, she comes across a female Russian soldier who chooses to surrender. This soldier, who speaks German, pleads for mercy and reveals that she is a young single mother, showing Ilsabellen a picture of her two sons. This encounter deeply affects Ilsabellen, stirring up feelings of frustration and wondering why men like Georg often push her away. Despite having a son together, Georg is married to another woman who desires to marry him. Seeking advice and comfort, Ilsabellen opens up to the female Russian soldier, hoping to gain some perspective.

The female Russian soldier, Mianva, shares her story with Ilsabellen, revealing that she is now 18 years old and a single mother. Ilsabellen is confused by Mianva's situation, as she has always believed that in her home country, women only marry men in order to raise children. Mianva expresses her desire to have a child, as she does not want to be alone. She mentions that she plans to marry her boyfriend, Vald, at her father's insistence. However, Mianva explains that Vald holds traditional views and wants to preserve his bloodline until the end of the war, if they are victorious. This disappoints Ilsabellen, who feels that single mothers who work hard against societal norms should be celebrated. She likens Mianva's situation to the dirty Germans and Jews back in her homeland. Ilsabellen recounts the disturbing experiences she has faced in public, where angry fathers have accused her of disturbing their young daughters. She has been called derogatory names and has had her own children kept away from her. All she wants is to be treated like everyone else. She recalls encounters with Jewish women who would cover their children's eyes when Ilsabellen walked through the Ghettos to visit her Jewish friend, Sacha, who eventually went missing and was sent to a death camp. These experiences have made Mianva develop a deep distrust of both Germans and Jews. However, Mianva finds Ilsabellen's perspective a little disturbing and empathizes with those who may not want to have children. She believes that she needs to focus on taking care of her own children and spend time teaching them to understand and not judge others. She aspires to be like her childhood friend, Julia, and has isolated herself from adult males due to past threats and warnings from both Germans and Jews about going too far against societal norms. She fears being sent to a death camp alongside other teenage mothers and their children for not adhering to traditional laws. As German soldiers approach, Mianva hides in the ruined side of the area. Ilsabellen observes her escape and realizes that the female Russian soldier managed to survive without getting captured by the Germans. Meanwhile, back in Berlin, Ilsabellen receives a golden medal from the Führer and is granted a big mansion where she can live with her daughter, Edith. George enters the mansion, and Ilsabellen agrees to their planned marriage in December.

In a flashback, Isabellen proudly takes her baby son, Rolf, out for the first time. Isabellen, known as the youngest female Nazi soldier at the age of 17 and a war hero, enjoys the attention from men who admire her. However, their joyful moment is abruptly interrupted by a German woman who begins to harass Isabellen about her daughter, causing her to feel traumatized and scared due to the woman's derogatory comments. Determined to shield Rolf from the negativity, Isabellen tries her best to ignore the woman's hurtful words. Amidst this tense encounter, Elva steps in, expressing her concern for Isabellen's well-being. Elva pleads with Isabellen to avoid interactions with men, warning her about the risks of contracting venereal disease and the potential dangers associated with her age if she were to become pregnant, Overwhelmed by the situation, Isabellen's anger towards Elva surges, leading her to push Elva away. In the midst of this emotional turmoil, Isabellen stumbles and falls, both physically and emotionally affected by the confrontation. As she hits the ground, a sharp pain shoots through her ankle, indicating that she has sprained it in the fall. Isabellen winces in pain and struggles to regain her footing. Fortunately, passersby notice her distress and quickly come to her aid, offering assistance and promptly calling for medical help. Isabellen is then transported to a nearby hospital, where her sprained ankle is treated and wrapped in a bandage, The incident leaves Isabellen shaken and upset, not only due to the encounter with the German woman but also because of the physical pain she is now experiencing. Adding to her challenges, Isabellen also suffers from varicose veins. This pre-existing condition further complicates her recovery process and exacerbates her discomfort. Nonetheless, Isabellen's focus shifts to her healing journey. Driven by determination, she seeks out medical advice, explores various treatment options for her varicose veins, and engages in exercises and techniques aimed at alleviating her symptoms, As Isabellen's assistant, I am here to provide support and assistance throughout her recovery. Together, we will research and discuss different ways to manage her varicose veins, schedule appointments with specialists, and offer encouragement as she strives to overcome the obstacles she has faced.

In a haunting flashback, Albert Jürgen finds himself in the living room with his father, Rabbi Albert IV. His father is filled with anger upon discovering Albert's disturbing relationship with a young girl from the program, as he found letters at their doorstep thanking Albert for providing her with semen. Seeing them together every day, his father becomes aware of the girl's pregnancy and is disgusted by the situation. Unable to bear witness to it, Albert's mother, Talia, quickly retreats to her room. Albert, feeling innocent and desperate, attempts to explain his side of the story to his mother.

The anger within his father boils over, leading him to slap Albert. He warns his son about the serious consequences Jewish men face if they are ever accused of inappropriate behavior towards young girls or even non-Jewish women in Germany. The very real risk of being lynched or sent to death camps puts the safety of their family at stake. Despite being a genuinely good person, Albert insists that he is not involved in any inappropriate behavior. He reveals that the girl has been stalking him and the other boys from the program, resorting to physical abuse if they refuse to comply with her demands for their own semen, just as his father had slapped Albert for sharing his side of the story.

The accusations from his father escalate, resulting in a violent outburst within the room. Albert desperately tries to avoid the girl's advances, but his father accuses him of being a pedophile, betraying his loving wife, Yula, and their two sons, and turning their family into a horrifying spectacle. Overwhelmed by the weight of these accusations, Albert reaches a breaking point and slaps his father in a moment of desperation.

Tears stream down Albert's face as he pleads for the abuse to stop. Finally, his father notices the bruises on Albert's body, a clear indication of the beatings he has endured. Albert longs to confront his father about the girl's disturbing obsession with him. He reveals that he has been raped by a girl named Ilsabellen, leaving him feeling dirty and sick. This revelation exposes the extent of his suffering throughout the program, as Ilsabellen terrorized him, threatening his life if he didn't comply. This traumatic experience has scarred him deeply, and Albert feels immense guilt for the child that may result from this violation. As Albert's father embraces him in tears, the heartbreaking scene is witnessed by his wife and sons from the attic, leaving them overwhelmed with grief and tears.

In a moment of remorse, Albert apologizes to his father and expresses his concern for the well-being of his parents and himself.

In a flashback, Linda seeks solace in her supportive friend Miana, feeling overwhelmed by Ilsabellen's reckless behavior. Ilsabellen, who desires to have more children at a young age, continues engaging in unprotected sex and becomes pregnant twice. This deeply upsets Linda, to the point where she contemplates taking her own life and even harming her children, as she cannot bear the thought of them being exposed to Ilsabellen's disturbing actions. Linda confides in the midwife Elva about this distressing situation, leading Elva to confront Ilsabellen at her mansion while she is exercising with her barbell. Despite Elva's genuine concern, Ilsabellen rejects her and accuses her of misunderstanding. Ilsabellen insists that she does not want to be alone but does not want a man in her life, finding them repulsive. Instead, she simply wants to use semen to conceive children without considering the potential consequences. Elva expresses her worry, telling Ilsabellen that she has gone too far, but Ilsabellen dismisses her and refuses to acknowledge the gravity of the situation. In response to Elva's threat of seeking intervention from the Lebensblood program to address Ilsabellen's unhealthy behavior, Ilsabellen resorts to drugging her barbell. She then confronts Elva, shouting at her and believing that Elva, being a German like Linda, Ginny, Lady Julia, Albert Jürgen, and the older brunette woman Hannah, is joining the others in mocking and accusing her of being a promiscuous woman for having children at a young age. Ilsabellen has encountered people who misunderstand her, particularly judgmental Germans like Elva, who she feels have kept her away from her child and forced her into giving up her child, Edith, to the Lebensblood program. This separation has fueled her deep distrust of everyone, prompting her decision to leave Austria and move on to the next chapter of her life. She blames capitalists for making her life harder and strives to work harder despite feeling a profound sense of loss. Ilsabellen no longer places her trust in Elva, Linda, or any other Germans, desiring only to be alone. She continues to fight against perceived enemies, hoping that Heinrich Himmler will return her birth children from the Lebensblood program. Despite Elva's attempts to convince her of the need for support, Ilsabellen stubbornly rejects her, as she has lost faith and trust in Elva and all others.

Elva's expression grew increasingly grave as she emphasized the importance of Ilsabellen's choices in protecting her own life. Ilsabellen, renowned as the most famous female Nazi soldier of the Third Reich, had valiantly fought against the enemy forces. Himmler, recognizing her bravery, had promised to reunite her with her children - a goal that remained at the forefront of Ilsabellen's mind. Having given birth to Edith at the ages of 13 and 14, she had endured a painful experience. Yet, her resilience persisted, leading her to have her son, Rolf, with Jan Weber, a 19-year-old German soldier, when she was only 16. Thanks to her unique abilities and disciplined training, she proved capable of handling herself on the frontline, and Himmler held her in high regard as a trusted female Aryan supersoldier for Germany. Elva's explanation took a darker turn as she delved into the dangers faced by young mothers in this regime. Being a mother at a young age carried the risk of public scrutiny and even death. She shared the distressing stories of young girls in Germany, who faced depression, financial struggles, and the heartbreaking decision to abandon their newborns due to societal pressures and a lack of support. These pregnancies were not choices made willingly but were instead the result of trauma, child abuse, child marriages, and the risk of infection leading to damaged organs. The genetic issues and health defects associated with giving birth at a young age made these young mothers targets for the Nazis, who sought to eliminate those they deemed unfit for their society. Forced sterilizations, abortions, and even sending them to death camps were all too real possibilities faced by these vulnerable young mothers. Elva's concern for Ilsabellen's children's safety was rooted in her genuine desire to help, as she understood the risks they faced. However, she also acknowledged that intervening could have severe consequences for her own well-being and the innocence of Edith and Rolf. Recognizing the gravity of the situation, Ilsabellen understood Elva's concerns. Her main goal was to reunite with her birth children and have another child of her own. She chose to distance herself from people like Elva, seeking refuge far away from those who would judge her. Determined to create a beautiful family, much like her friend Julie, who had children at a young age, Ilsabellen was skeptical of Himmler and his ideology. While she followed his rules, she never fully trusted him. Her desire was simply to embrace the happiness of a loving family. This growing paranoia led her to forcefully dismiss Elva from her mansion, further straining their relationship. Feeling desperate, Elva sought solace and guidance from her husband, Abelard. Fear gripped her as she shared her concerns with him, eventually revealing an idea she had conceived. The weight of the situation pressed upon her, and she knew that action needed to be taken to divert Ilsabellen from her current path.

In a poignant flashback, we witness the journey of a young Ilsabellen at the tender age of 12, as she embarks on a search for a German man for a breeding program. Along her quest, she encounters Achim Zberg, a 13-year-old who repeatedly rejects her advances. Unbeknownst to Achim, Ilsabellen is mentally ill, but he remains oblivious to her condition. In the midst of this rejection, Lina, a roommate, decides to confront her about the situation. However, despite Lina's intervention, Ilsabellen remains determined and continues her pursuit. Eventually, she meets Erhard Teuber, a 16-year-old soldier. In an attempt to appear older, Ilsabellen lies about her age, claiming to be 16 due to her height. It is during a moment of intimacy, as she tries to kiss Erhard, that Ilsabellen experiences her first menstruation. Overwhelmed by panic and confusion, she screams, attracting the attention of the maids who promptly whisk her away. This traumatic event triggers a shift in Ilsabellen's personality, causing her to adopt the persona of Iyza. In a state of distress, Iyza flees down the hallway, emitting sounds resembling those of a frightened cat. Seeking solace and safety, she hides in a box, but her hiding spot is soon discovered by Lina. This interaction reveals another facet of Ilsabellen's complex personality of Ilse, as Lina confronts her about menstruation and the significance of being a woman. However, Ilse misunderstands the explanation, mistakenly believing that her menstruation means she constantly confetti herself throughout the day, leading to discomfort and cramping. Recognizing the need for rest and recovery, Lina persuades Ilse to take a break. Agreeing, Ilse requests to be breastfed, a request that leaves Lina feeling slightly embarrassed but ultimately laughing it off. Instead, Lina provides Ilse with water and ensures she is comfortable enough to fall asleep.

In the flashback, we see the young Ilsabellen expressing her thoughts and emotions through her drawings. At the age of nine, she enters an orphanage and quickly forms a close friendship with a girl named Julie. Together, they immerse themselves in playful activities, with Julie acting as a nurturing older sister figure. They revel in their imaginative games, dressing up as princesses, hosting tea parties, and creating cherished memories. Julie becomes a shield, shielding Ilsabellen from the cruelty of bullies, particularly the boys. However, their bond is abruptly shattered when Julie is adopted by a loving family, leaving Ilsabellen behind in the orphanage. As Ilsabellen remains in the orphanage, she is adopted by a powerful man who becomes her adoptive father. Unbeknownst to her, this man leads her down a dark path, subjecting her to unspeakable sexual abuse on a daily basis. To make matters worse, she is also violated by the adoptive father's friends, a fisherman and a pastor, during a horrifying incident on Christmas Eve. Throughout this ordeal, her adoptive mother refuses to help her, further intensifying her suffering. The torment she endures becomes unbearable, causing her to develop new personalities named Ilse, Iyza, Ilsa, and Ilza. With the help of her alter ego, Ilza, Ilsabellen manages to escape her abusive adoptive parents. Using toxic chemicals she had stolen from her science teacher at school, Ilza poisons them, resulting in their brutal deaths. In a shocking act, she crucifies their bodies in a church, intending for her actions to be discovered by a pastor. Fueled by rage, Ilza kills the pastor by throwing a cross at his head and brutally murders the fisherman, feeding him to a pack of ferocious dogs. These murders ultimately lead to the arrest of her science teacher, leaving her homeless and consumed by a deep fear of being alone. For over two years, the now 11-year-old Ilsabellen, trapped in the mental state of a 9-year-old, struggles to survive on the streets, facing the harsh realities of life. Eventually, at the age of 12, she finds herself in a shelter, only to be taken to Himmler's mansion. Unaware of the true nature of her circumstances, she is coerced into declaring herself as "Aryanized" and is subsequently forced to become a breeder for the Lebensblood program. It is within this program that she encounters her assistant, Elva Lehmann, whom she refers to as "Mama."