NPCs

**NPCs** are various characters the player can talk to in At Least There Is Čeda Čedović. NPCs are usually hidden on levels, but rarely openly right in the beginning of level. They usually talk about not much important information and there's nothing for finding all of them. In MariObama mode the only NPC MariObama can talk to are Duane and Emily Money.

## Babushka

*Origin:* Poor 4

*Location:* Poor 4 Appartament

### In beginning of game

Babushka: Čeda, my grandson, where are you going?

Čeda: The depths of Hell, Babushka. I must go become King of Counter Strike 1.6!

Babushka: Ooh, you kids and your adventures through Hades to be best at shooting game. Well, remember to eat your discs. You can grab disc by holding "<run key>" while approaching disc. Once disc is in your hand, press "UP" to eat it for quick power up on the spot.

Čeda: Baba, what the fuck! Why you talk like instruction manual?!

Babushka: I only wanted to help.

Čeda: Go flush favorite book in toilet, bre. I don't need no fucking instructions on how to eat.

### After becoming King of Counter Strike

Čeda: Baba! I have become King of Counter Strike 1.6!

Babushka: That's great, was it worth it?

Čeda: No, because hell is ruined and<new line>looks like shit!

Babushka: Alright grandson, what will you do now?

Čeda: I have new plan! This one will work for sure! I will eat apple, that will solve all my problems.

Babushka: Okay sonny, have fun.

### After eating Mysterious Apple

Babushka: How's it going, sonny?

Čeda: Eating apple was mistake, never fucking again.

### After defeating MariObama

Čeda: I have killed the meme responsible for my hell problems!

Babushka: What is a meme?

Čeda: It's fucking dead, that's what it is. And now I have everything I ever wanted!

Babushka: Isn't that what you said when you started world war 5?

Čeda: Yes but this is even better. I won war against hell and beyond! If Djole was here he'd do a victory squeal, but I'm not doing that shit.

Babushka: Well, what are you going to do now?

Čeda: Kill everything in hell until it gets boring I suppose. I dunno, I just wanted to be king of Counter Strike and kill things.

## Genie

*Origin:* Read-A-Rama

*Location:* Not the Air Level!

Genie: Weird red head man! Can it be over here?

Čeda: What? What are you looking for, bre?

Genie: I need to get my lamp back, dude, or I will die!

Čeda: Uhh, I have teapots, lots of them. Is that any good?

Genie: Teapots? No that won't do at all! A genie needs a lamp.

Čeda: Okay, fuck you, I hope you never find it and die.

## Bear

*Origin:* Honey Cave

*Location:* Honey Cave

Čeda: HEY! Hey, you there, Bear! I'm in hell, right? That's where I am??

Bear: You sure are.

Čeda: Why isn't everything on fire? Where's sounds of human agony, bre?

Bear: Oh right, that was the case 3 years ago, but then the meme took over.

Čeda: The meme? Is this... meme what is causing hell to be not hell?

Bear: Basically, yeah.

Čeda: Hmmm, I do not know how comfortable I am with becoming the ruler of hell... if this is what it became.

Bear: I would have at least taken care of the bees had I not lost my machine gun.

Čeda: If you had machine gun, I would have killed you and taken it from you.

Bear: Well don't I feel lucky.

## Harold

*Origin:* Icy Tower

*Location:* Icy Tower

Harold: Yo.

Čeda: Do not fucking Yoyo me, what is this tower, bre.

Harold: This is the tower I was bouncing around in. But it was recently taken over by a bunch of creatures.

Čeda: You think I care?

Harold: If only someone with murderous tendencies could go< in there and clean it up.

Čeda: Did you say more things to kill? Well when you put it that way, I'll be happy to go.

Harold: Sweet, just keep in mind that in the tower it's a bit warmer than it is outside. So time will unfreeze, and you don't have much of it.

Čeda: Yes yes, I don't care, there will be some kind of clock to extend time anyway. There always is.

Harold: One last thing you should remember: You can only jump through stone platforms.

Čeda: I do not know what the fuck that means.

## Disco Dave

*Origin:* Icy Tower

*Location:* Icy Tower

Disco Dave: What's goin' on?

Čeda: What the fuck do you think is going on, bre.

Disco Dave: It used to never end, but somthin' funky caused it to stop looping.

Čeda: How the fuck did you even get up here?

Disco Dave: By stayin' alive.

Čeda: You and your friend down there are some crazy motherfuckers, I respect that. Now how do I get out of this place, bre?

Disco Dave: Goal's just ahead. Dude, just watch your step.

Čeda: Groovy.

## Voodoo Dick Man

*Origin:* Voodoo Dick

*Location:* Castlevania 10

Voodoo Dick Man: Hello sir, would you like to buy something from me?

Čeda: Yes, I am want to buy this big kurton. How much?

Voodoo Dick Man: 10 teapots.

Čeda: 10 TEAPOTS?! YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK 10 TEAPOTS!

Voodoo Dick Man: Okay sir, I want you and your dumbass shoes out of my sight!

Čeda: What the fuck did you say about my babouches?!

Voodoo Dick Man: Oh nothin'. I'm gonna home now, and wash my paprikas! So fuck off you Tord from Eddsworld lookin' ass!

## Ben

*Origin:* BEN Drowned

*Location:* Aqua Energizer

Čeda: Hey you! I have some questions for you!

Ben: Blub blub...

Čeda: What?

Ben: It's true what they say, home is where heart is. Glub glub.

Čeda: Fuck you.

## Stan

*Origin:* Stan Skates

*Location:* Building Panic

Čeda: Hello, Skateboarder, what are you doing here?

Stan: Sorry, I'm Dead... inside.

Čeda: Ah, well my job is done here, then!

## Best Friend

*Origin:* Best Friends

*Location:* Bubble Bobble Nostalgie

Čeda: Hello, stupid creature, where is nearest exit from this place, bre.

Best Friend: \*screeching noise\*

Čeda: I think it is in pain. Oh well, not my problem.

## Rage Bot

*Origin:* Rage bot ep. 1

*Location:* Pharaoh's Curse

Rage Bot: Americans! The world is going to end today!

Čeda: Who the fuck are you calling American, you filthy machine?!

Rage Bot: Uh, where are you from then?

Čeda: Serbia, bre! And soon I am going to be king of Counter Strike, too!

Rage Bot: My boss, The Shadow Master, sent me to tell that if you continue your quest... I will have to use force and shoot my lazer, I'm serious.

Čeda: If you don't shut the fuck up, I'm gonna put a fuckin' boot up through your head you fuck.

Rage Bot: I'm not gonna risk testing that statement, so I'll let you go.

## Stinky

*Origin:* Wonderland: Secret Worlds

*Location:* Snoopy v1.0

Stinky: Hello, I am Stinky.

Čeda: Fuck, not again!

Stinky: What?

Čeda: When I become king of Counter Strike, I will come back and kill.

Stinky: Huh, Why?

Čeda: Only Djole is allowed to be stinky, you motherfuck.

Stinky: Why are you saying those things to me.

Čeda: Do not speak to me, filth.

* After Čeda becomes King of Counter Strike, the player has ability to come back to Stinky and kill him by jumping on him. He only gives 1 point.

## Sven

*Origin:* Sven Zwo

*Location:* Sven Zwo
Čeda: Hello humble sheep, have you drowned anyone recently?

Sven: Her mouth moves, but nothing is heard from it. One large spaceship shows up in the sky. It appears from out of nowhere. A being descends from the spaceship.

Čeda: You look like you have been traumatized. I hope I don't run into whatever did that.

## Jumpscare

*Origin:* Bone.exe

*Location:* Exodus of Death

Jumpscare: You there, I need you to do me a favour.

Čeda: Holy shit, a talking dead person!

Jumpscare: Yeah, look buddy. Some green doodle creature walked by and stole some kind of dark shape-shifting energy. Are you by any chance related to this thing?

Čeda: Yes, I'm here to kill him!

Jumpscare: Okay good, 'cus I'm sure as shit not gonna bother anymore. Not after last time they invited me to assassinate some targets... and then they just cance-

Čeda: Wait! You have Gun! You are very cool skeleton, give me gun!

Jumpscare: I already gave a spare gun to a knight.

Čeda: Well fuck you.

## Paul

*Origin:* P.A.U.L.

*Location:* Eyeless

Paul: Wow dude, you look like crap!

Čeda: Had it not been for this game's low budget I would have killed you.

Paul: That's a real bummer, you want some pizza in these trying times?

Čeda: Fuck that shit, I eat only real food! Like cold leftover meat, bre!

Paul: 'Alright dude, you do you.

Čeda: They took my fucking eyes.

## Corpse

*Origin:* GAME.bps

*Location:* GAME.bps

Čeda: Who the fuck are you!?

Corpse: I'm you from the near future.

Čeda: This sounds like a bullshit.

Corpse: Yes. You're absolutely right, I'm pulling your leg. I'm just a copy of you, but mangled and I'm blue.

Corpse: Da ba dee da ba die.

Čeda: You look pretty happy about that. I respect that.

Corpse: Will you help me? I've been-
Čeda: No.

## Young Čeda

*Origin:* Poor 4

*Location:* stick figures on crack!!

Young Čeda: What? Who are you?

Čeda: You must be me from years ago. I don't remember having American accent, though.

Young Čeda: Anyway, I have returned from the great battle and killed the Miroslav leader.

Čeda: You fuck! Miroslav is Miroslav leader.

Young Čeda: Oh crap! Thanks for telling me! I'll be sure to tell Djole.

Čeda: Fuck, don't remember me of how he looked like back then, bre.

## Bigfoot

*Origin:* GTA San Andreas Myth Hunters

*Location:* GTA Myth Hunters

Čeda: Aha, I finally found bigfoot! Tell me your secrets!

Bigfoot: Ug.

Čeda: What was that?

Bigfoot: Ug.

Čeda: Well you're fucking useless, shut the fuck up. You're not even a real myth, like traffic lights are.

Bigfoot: Jump good.

Čeda: Oh okay, there it is.

## Skull Cult

*Origin:* goanimate creepypasta: the skull cult

*Location:* GoAnimosity

Cultist 1: Okay everyone,let's start the ritual.

Cultist 2: The Skull Cult are back. The Skull Cult are back to kill. The Skull Cult are here to claim their soul.

Čeda: Not so fucking fast, you fucking idiots!

Cultist 3: Oh he's here already...

Čeda: My name is Čeda Čedović, and I'm here to kill Motherfuckers!

Cultist 2: You're too late, foolish mortal, the ritual is complete!

Cultist 3: Is he supposed to come here?

Cultist 1: Oh, here he is!

## Dr Beanson

*Origin:* Greeny Phatom

*Location:* Bitchin'

Dr Beanson: Hello, it is I, Dr Beanson the one of a kind doctor who brings you this message. You got teapots? Well they're no good if you don't have the hot water and the biscuits. If I had water I'd use that water to make vegetable soup for Little guy 1. And if I had a biscuit, I'd use it for breakfast while I look at the THX.

Čeda: Finally, someone who speaks english that I can understand!

## Tom Cruise

*Origin:* Tom Cruise vs. The Internet

*Location:* Spartaman

Čeda: Oh fuck, who are you.

Tom Cruise: They took away my website.

Čeda: Listen, I just want to get through this level, the music is hurting me.

Tom Cruise: You're the guy who killed Mega Satan, right?

Čeda: Yes I did.

Tom Cruise: Looks like the prophesies were right after all. Mega Satan will be resurrected one day. And when that happens, there will be a war between the Anti-Crust and Zizgzag the Sorcerer.

Čeda: You're fucking psycho, bre, I'm not talking to you anymore.

## BRO

*Origin:* BROS

*Location:* Moppa Wars

Čeda: Okay, what witty dialogue do you have?

BRO: \*Grunt\*

Čeda: That uh... was not really funny.

BRO: \*Grunt\*

Čeda: ... ah who am I kidding, it is pretty funny! I bet your main menu music is even funnier!

## Steven

*Origin:* Time Fcuk

*Location:* suicidemouse.avi

Čeda: Hey stupid, why you have thing growing out of your head?

Steven: That's my friend Steven, he tells me the future in exchange for living in my head.

Čeda: Sounds cool, I should do that with my friends.

## Sauce Man

*Origin:* Action 52

*Location:* sponge bob saw

Čeda: What the fuck are you.

Sauce Man: Have you ever attacked a tank with your bare hands?

Čeda: Pfft, You think this is my first time starting a world war, pussy?

## Elvis

*Origin:* MariObama

*Location:* The Test Level

Čeda: What the FuCK! Upside down face Elvis!? I thought it was only myth!

Elvis: Thank you very much.

Čeda: Wow! That was worth all the trouble it took to get to this fucking spot.

## Emily Money

*Origin:* Mt. Money

*Location:* The Test Level

### Before defeating MariObama

Emily Money: Hey, back off, buddy. This door's only for those who have beaten the final boss.

### After defeating MariObama

Emily Money: Hey you, see this door here? It leads to a secret level actually. And this secret level is straight-up unfair. You can go in there and beat it if you want. I don't care much.

### After completing Get 2 it

Emily Money: So you've beaten the secret level, huh? Congratulations, I guess. Maybe I should hire you to deal with underpaid security for me.

### In MariObama mode before defeating DooplObama

Emily Money: Hey, back off, buddy. This door's only for those who have beaten the final boss. Also, before you ask, this is my tie.

## Duane

*Origin:* MariObama

*Location:* The Test Level

### In Čeda mode

Duane: Oh.... So.... someone has made it here.... Are you here to stop.... him?

Čeda: Can you please talk faster.

Duane: You wish to stop the core of the meme-disease, no?

Čeda: Wish? Wishing is for pussies, I'm killing that motherfuck!

Duane: Well be careful... he's strong... and he's certainly had time to train.

Čeda: How much trains could he possibly have? I didn't see any train tracks, bre.

Duane: That's not what I meant when I said 'train'....

Čeda: You sure do talk fancy for someone that looks so stupid.

Duane: That's true, I don't know whathappened to me....

### In MariObama mode

Duane:... Wait a minute... It's you! You finally made it! Everyone is playing your game now! ...Well, it's not your game really, but close enough... How does it feel to have finally made it after all these years?

MariObama: ......

Duane: Oh right, you don't speak... Well, hey. You'll finally get your tie back...