Bonita Titanica

**Bonita Titanica** is the daughter of Elizabeth and Don Juan from The Legend of the Titanic, and she is SPESHUL!

## Info

Name: Bonita Juanita Isabella Titanica Tenorio Gonzalez Leon Camden, Princess of Andalusia

Age: 27, but looks and acts like a teenager. (She's immortal.)

Parent's Story: The Legend of the Titanic

Appearance: I'm a beautiful, delicate blonde with a delicate face, soft cheeks, a tiny mouth, beautiful blue eyes, and I wear a high-cut red gown.

Alignment: Royal

Roommate: None cuz I'm SPESHUL!

Secret Heart's Desire: To save the whales from whaling and star in a historically inaccurate animated film.

My Magic Touch: I can talk to dolphins with the power of magic moonbeams. It happened when a net of magic moonbeams caught my tears as they fell into the water.

Storybook Romance Status: I will fall in love at first sight.

Oh Curses Moment: Living on the Titanic in a bay on a moon-shaped island gets boring.

Favorite Subject: Crying 101. I cry too much and my tears will be caught on a net of magic moonbeams.

Least Favorite Subject: History. The history books lie!

Best Friends Forever After: Not many because no one likes my pure sparklyness.

## Biography

Hello, babies. I'm Bonita Titanica. My mother is Elizabeth and my father is Don Juan, and I live on the Titanic in a bay on a tropical island connected to Atlantis. My parents met on the Titanic and survived the sinking, and married. Three years later, they moved to Atlantis, where they became immortal prisoners thanks to the benevolent King of Atlantis. (It's all told in two historically inaccurate animated films that are totally not trying to cash in on James Cameron's Titanic - rite?)

I'm so pretty and sparkly. I am a pure-hearted princess and I enjoy the company of kind, cute animals. I don't like sharks, though, cuz all sharks are evil and they have prison stripes. (They sunk the Titanic because they were in cahoots with the whaler Everard Maltravers.) I have lots of cute animal friends - talking mice, talking dogs, talking dolphins, talking whales, and of course, Tentacles, the octopus with a dog's face who is as big as the Titanic itself.

I tend to cry over 20 times a day because it's proper for princesses to be crybabies. I am also one of the most beautiful girls who ever lived, and all the boys are obsessed with me cuz I'm SPESHUL.

Unfortunately, I have to deal with all sorts of baddies, like the prison sharks, Maltravers and his dumb butler Jeffries, Mother's evil stepmother Rachel and her cat Lucifer, Rachel's evil sister who doesn't do anything (and her cat), and a bunch of pirate rats who want to take over Atlantis. But I know that the Atlanteans will save me. Smiley will fire a laser at the bad guys while on his chariot. Not to mention Pingo the annoying, fabulously flamboyantly gay fish toy will lead us in a fishcotheque.

I am a Royal because I want to save the whales because my parents' movies claimed that the Titanic had a lot to do with whales. I don't care if people find it insulting to history. People need to stop believing everything their history teachers tell them.

I AM ALSO DA PRETTIEST, KINDEST GURL IN DA WURLD CUZ IM SPESHUL. WHEEEE!

## Trivia

* She is allergic to anesthesia, which makes operating on her a nightmare.
* She is a gypsy on her father's side of the family and she likes to do gypsy dances.
* She is afraid to go to the Faroe Islands because they eat whales over there.
* She is taking you to doggy hell.
* She has two siblings named Luis and Merville, who were born from ten-day pregnancies.
* She is a devoted Catholic, even though she is pro-choice.
* She is a big fan of Pooh's Adventures.
* She loves the movies Gigli and From Justin to Kelly.
* She likes singing Celine Dion's hit song "My Heart Will Go On", but she has a terrible voice.
* She gets annoyed whenever Titanic documentaries are on TV because she thinks they all lie.