Revelation

Revelation is the ninth chapter in the Wombles Two. If you were looking for the chapter from the Wombles Eight, see Revelation (W8V).

Female Voice: Come on, John, let’s get this jewel out of here.

Male Voice: Yes, we better.  A shame we couldn’t get the other one, though.

Female Voice: Don’t worry.  One day we shall return, and take the second one.

Male Voice: Alright then.  Come on, Cathy, the wombles are looking for us!

The tape recorder stopped.  Bungo just stared in amazement.  Great Uncle Bulgaria said, “Now, we can’t say for sure, but I believe that those two people, John and Cathy, were John Steed and Cathy Gale.”  “But…” said Bungo.  “Why did she call him John?  She always calls him Steed!”  “Perhaps to make it less obvious who they were.” Said Great Uncle Bulgaria, looking very serious at Bungo.  “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” asked Bungo.  “I wasn’t sure if you could be trusted not to take the remaining jewel.” “Me?  Wipe out our kind?  HA!”

Tara was confused.  She was trying to work out why she was still outside after going into her house. Suddenly she remembered it was stolen along with her favourite car.  All she could do was to go to Cathy’s house.  She did.  If she had remembered how angry Cathy was about the quick change clothes she might not have done.  However she forgot about those.

“Yes” said Cathy through the intercom.  “It’s Tara”  “Come in you despicable excuse of a human being!”  “OK”

Wham!  Pow! Kapow!  Whap!  Smack! “Why are words appearing when you hit me?” asked Tara.  Zap! “Because I’m hitting you so hard!” Zlopp!  Tara passed out.  She woke up next to Mother.  “Mother?” “Tara?”  “Where are we?”  “In prison” “Why?”  “Because we were naughty!”  “Oh”  Tara and Mother were lucky to have kept some of Steed’s special miniatures.  So they had a cider party in the prison.

One Ten was at home.  He was in his garden with his gnome.  Suddenly he got gassed.  He heard, “I’ve got you!  At last!” He woke up in a cosy house.  He looked around and saw a mouse.  He looked out the window and got a surprise.  He was in a village full of resigned spies! He walked about and went to a beach. He saw someone who was using bleach. He heard a voice that seemed to come from nowhere.  He was confused so scratched his hair.  He decided to ask where he was.  “In the village.” Replied the voice that sounded a bit like Oz.  “What do you want?” asked One Ten.  “Quack!  You to give me back my pens!”  One Ten now new who it was.  It was Dr Keel, definitely not Oz!

At the burrow a rather injured looking womble put the music on and shouted “Womblelation!”.  All the wombles started dancing again.  Dancing Again Uncle Bulgaria looked at the womble dancing next to him in rags. “Yellowstone!” he shouted and hugged him tightly.  “Ouch!” said Yellowstone.  Shocked Uncle Bulgaria saw his injuries.  “Who did this to you?” he asked.  “Alderney” replied Yellowstone.  Alderney was dancing next to them.  “I would NEVER hurt another womble!” she said hurt.  Just then Idaho danced in.  “Actually you would” he said.  He then put a video on the Womblevision.  Alderney fainted after watching herself savagely beating a caged Yellowstone.

Steed rang the bell at Cathy’s house.  “What now?” snapped Cathy through the intercom.  “It’s me, Steed!” replied Steed.  “Oh.” Said Cathy, and opened the door.  An almost dead person fell in and Steed appeared behind them.  Cathy looked at the almost dead person.  It was Venus!  Steed ticked off a Venus’s name on some kind of list.  “Next up,” he said.  “Dr Martin King.  But do not mistake him with Dr Martin Luthor King, who is completely different.  And it’s your turn.  Remember though…”  “I know.” Said Cathy.  “When the others are watching, pretend to hate you so that they won’t get suspicious of you.” And she walked out to find Dr King.

Dr King was singing at the club.  It was supposed to be Venus singing but she had mysteriously disappeared. He only knew one song and only two lines of that.  “Aaallll daaaay loooong weeeee wiiiilll beeeee wooooombling in the snoooooow!” He was truly awful at singing.  So bad that the audience were knocked unconscious. He could however make people better. He went around the club with his big bottle of medicine.  The label read “Dr King’s Truly Remarkable Tonic”.  He had also written a book about it called “I can make you better!”.

The previous day … Steed and Cathy were laughing and drinking brandy.  “Oh Steed I nearly forgot!  Did you switch Martin’s Truly Remarkable Tonic for your poisoned cider?”  “Of course my dear!” replied Steed smiling.

Dr King of course had no idea of the switch happening.  He couldn’t understand why everyone at the club was still unconscious.  Even worse they were all green now!  “Help!” somebody croaked.  At last a patient was recovering!  He heaved a sigh of relief and headed to the old lady.  “Please sonny help me up” she said feebly.  Dr King hauled her to her feet then pulled up a chair.  The old lady sat down.  “Let me give you something for your trouble sonny” she fussed. Dr King wanted to say no but was too polite.  He held out his hand and the old lady pulled out a luger with a silencer!

She slapped his hand hard.  He was shocked and stumbled back.  Suddenly the old lady pulled at her face.  “It is rude to pull faces!” said Dr King.  She pulled it off.  It was a mask and the face he saw now was Cathy Gale!  She pulled the label off the medicine bottle to reveal another one. It now read Poison!.  Cathy got out her camera took pictures of Martin with the poison bottle and all the green people around.  “Now” she said still pointing the luger at Dr King “We wouldn’t want anybody to know about this would we?”  He was speechless.  “Come with me!” she snapped and he did as commanded.

Alderney was in tears.  She had been arrested again by Angry Uncle Bulgaria.  Yellowstone looked angry too.   She felt lonely locked in an old dusty room.  The room was long since forgotten by most wombles.  Yellowstone however was not most wombles.  He remembered.  The clicked open softly before a paw led Alderney to the back exit of the burrow.  The party was still on so the others didn’t notice.  “Why are you helping me?  I nearly killed you!” Alderney asked.  “You couldn’t help it” replied Yellowstone “You were drugged by Idaho.  Don’t worry though Idaho is OK now.  Somebody else had got to him.”  “Who?” asked Alderney as they broke into the Wombatmobile. “Well that is a long story but it has something to do with ESP, dreams and Christmas trees.”  Alderney was more confused than ever as Yellowstone drove away from the common.