The Appointment (GAM113)

## Hosts

Noah Lugeons

Heath Enwright

Eli Bosnick

***The Appointment*** is the story of a woman who gets told exactly when she's gonna die, followed by about thirty minutes of literally watching time pass on different clocks and watches and shit. And also looking at bibles, cutting back—it's *Second Hands and Bibles: The Movie*.

### **Opening Phrase**

Where each week we watch another selection from Christian cinema, because despite Nancy's protestations I did *not* say no.

### **How Bad Was It?**

Well, if you love *Final Destination*, but you think that destination is Hell, you will *love* this movie. This is *Your Crazy Christian Grandmother with Alzheimer's: The Movie*.

### **Best Worst**

* Heath: ...rhythm of the spoken lines.
* Noah: ...end run around an apologetic.
* Eli: ...sized piece of technology that now fits literally under your fingernail.

### **Notes**

* Halloween Spooktacular!
* An early Christiano Brothers movie, as known from the more entertaining *A Matter of Faith*, *Time Changer*, and *Second Glance*.

### **Jokes**

* "So then we're going to meet a main character in this film that we will *never* see—I have him down as "Weird POV Shot" the entire time, and we're going to meet him in a Waffle House. So, wait a sec—for clarity, because this is very important—this guy is the Angel of Death or the Grim Reaper, right? He's obviou—he's like a divine messenger. In *my* mind he is supernatural—he's not, like, a dude—and that means that the Grim Reaper ate at Waffle House. And if you're not picturing the Grim Reaper with *terrible* diarrhea because he's eating floor hashbrowns at four in the morning because he's so drunk, you are not the audience we know and love." (16:28)
* "Right. It is genuinely—and again, we will hear this argument multiple times for the rest of this movie—the argument is genuinely: 'I mean, it would seem intuitive to *everyone in the world* but us that being a good person matters, but if you believe our magic book, it's... not about that.' Instead of an apologetic, they just highlight a deficiency in their moral theology, and they will *never* address it. They'll never be like, '...and this is why that's more important.' It's just like, 'But the book says nobody's good.' But people *are* good. 'Nope. Not according to the book.' Alright, if I write 'everyone's good' in my diary can you use that book instead? 'I think so? I don't know.' This is like one of the worst messages in all of Christianity too: you'd *think* you'd have to do good stuff for heaven, but you do *not*, you—last second… believe it—just be like 'I love Jesus', that's all you gotta do. This can all be perfectly broken down to the apologetic from 'You'd Think, Right? Crazy. I Mean Not, Not Crazy. You're Crazy. But You'd Think, Right?' " (47:12)

### **Interstitials**

* Elevator Pitch by Rich Christiano of The Christiano Film Group (8:14)
* The Weird POV Grim Reaper visits Eli, Noah, and Heath (50:01)

### **Tropes**

* Crazy Billionaire Money
* Jingly Keys
* Nothing Happens
* Persecuted Christians
* The Most Advanced C64 Ever!
* This is YOUR Movie!
* Vaguely Heard of Jesus [The Lord who?]

### **Links**

* Episode on Audioboom
* Trailer on YouTube
* IMDB