Kratos VS Dante

**Kratos VS Dante** is the Second episode of DEATH BATTLE! But it's DBX, featuring Kratos from the *God of War* series and Dante from the *Devil May Cry* series in a battle between stylish demon slayers.

## Description

Two overwhelming, unstoppable forces of hacking and slashing collide!

## Interlude

(\*Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston\*)

Wiz: Of all the warriors who have entered this arena, none can compete with these two titans of power. Kratos, the Ghost of Sparta who single-handedly annihilated Olympus.

**Boomstick: And Dante, the Devil Hunter. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills, to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

## Kratos

(\*Cues: God Of War III - Brothers Of Blood \*)

Wiz: Kratos is a demigod, raised among the Spartans as their greatest warrior, until one day, his people were threatened to be overrun. It was then he struck a deal with Ares, the God of War. Ares would give him the strength to protect his people; in return, Kratos would serve as Ares' champion warrior.

**Boomstick: Kratos became super-powerful and really vicious, but was tricked by Ares into killing his own family. But hey, he saved some money on child support and divorce!**

Wiz: As the white, hot ashes of his family clung permanently to his skin-

**Boomstick: Just like Michael Jackson!**

Wiz: -his quest for vengeance against the gods of Olympus began. As a demigod, Kratos possesses great strength, speed, and endurance. He can survive a pummeling from a Titan and best the power of Hercules.

**Boomstick: Kratos wields the Blades of Exile, twin short swords bound to his arms by chains. The blades have a hook design that Kratos can use to cut right through his enemies, or snag them and whip 'em around.**

(\*Cues: Rage of Sparda - God of War 3\*)

**Boomstick: And like most badass weapons, they can somehow emit fire.**

Wiz: Kratos is well trained in sword combat and possesses what may be the most powerful sword the Greek gods have to offer - the Blade of Olympus.

**Boomstick: After Kratos killed Ares, Uhhh, spoiler!, he was made the God of War. But Zeus tricked him into putting all his godly powers into this sword, making him mortal once again.**

Wiz: And making the Blade of Olympus a deadly harbinger of death to even the toughest Olympians. His most versatile defense is his Golden Fleece, armor capable of blocking powerful blows and deflecting magical attacks.

**Boomstick: But there's a whole lot more to this guy's arsenal, like the Bow of Apollo, which can shoot a rapid stream of arrows or charge up deadly fire arrows.**

Wiz: Then there's the Claws of Hades, which mercilessly rip the souls out of their victims, though tough opponents like Kratos can resist them.

**Boomstick: The Nemean Cestus are giant ultra-strong gauntlets which can stun foes with brutal shockwaves.**

Wiz: The Boots of Hermes give him superhuman speed, and when battling the infamous Icarus, he ripped those huge wings off the old fool's back and took them for his own, giving him powers of flight.

**Boomstick: Holy crap, that's a lot of weapons! I like this guy!**

Wiz: Kratos is not invincible, but he is very difficult to kill.

**Boomstick: Hell, he can't even kill himself!**

Wiz: In his rage, he tore apart the ranks of Mount Olympus and slaughtered every god upon and below it... except for Aphrodite.

**Boomstick: For obvious reasons!**

Wiz: In doing so, he ultimately brought about the end of the world. Without the power of the gods to keep the chaos in check, the apocalypse had arrived, and its vanguard was Kratos.

*Ares: I was trying to make you a great warrior.*

*Kratos: You succeeded.*

*Kratos impales Ares with the Blade of Olympus.*

## Dante

(\*Cues: Devils Never Cry - Devil May Cry 3\*)

Wiz: Take a walk down Slum Avenue and you'll find all sorts of hangouts for the scum of the underworld. The Bullseye Bar, a random strip club, and even a run-down service shop called "Devil May Cry."

**Boomstick: But the services they're selling aren't like washing your car or fixin' your plumbing. Oh no! Long as you got the cash, this shop specializes in delivering demonic beatdowns. Who's crazy enough to try and make a living this way you ask? His name is Dante.**

(\*Cues: Lock & Load - Devil May Cry\*)

Wiz: From the very beginning, Dante's life was always unusual. Born from the unholy union of a human mother and demon father, Dante and his twin brother Vergil had their first supernatural encounter at the young age of eight.

**Boomstick: Yeah, see, his demon dad was a badass who singlehandedly conquered the underworld and imprisoned its demon emperor, Mundus. But after Dad died, Mundus' minions felt brave enough to take some revenge, by slaughtering his family, leaving Dante an orphan. Bummer. Hate it when that happens.**

Wiz: With his mother gone and his brother assumed dead, Dante was left with only one option: Become the ultimate demon hunter, and perpetuate the cycle of vengeance.

*Dante: This party's getting crazy! Let's rock!*

*Dante struggles to turn on his boombox until he karate chops it.*

(\*Cues: Devils Never Cry - Devil May Cry 3 again\*)

Wiz: Despite the dangerous nature of his occupation, Dante always maintains a carefree spirit when dispatching devils of the underworld.

**Boomstick: It's part of his charm. Hell, when you've got abilities like Dante's, why not be a little cocky? He's faster than the mortal eye can see, strong enough to grapple with the underworld's toughest demons, and straight up man enough to shake off being stabbed through the chest like every god damn day!**

Wiz: That's thanks to his regenerative ability. In fact, all of that is made possible due to his demonic heritage, and made even more deadly by his plethora of weapons, his favorites being his dual pistols and enormous sword.

**Boomstick: Like any proud weapon owner, he gives his tools of destruction pet names. His guns, Ebony and Ivory, specialize in long range shots and rapid fire barrages respectively. These hand canons are so powerful they can each obliterate demons in a single shot.**

(\*Cues: Taste the Blood - Devil May Cry 3\*)

*Dante shoots off Echidna's head without looking.*

*Dante: I think that look suits you better.*

**Boomstick: Rebellion is a large, magical sword given to him by his pops, which can cut any demon down to size in the blink of an eye. He's also got his brother's sword, Yamato, which can cut through dimensions!**

Wiz: Throughout his adventures, Dante also collected a wide assortment of additional weaponry called Devil Arms, physical manifestations of powerful demons he has defeated.

**Boomstick: Remember Mega Man? It's that, but on steroids.**

Wiz: His armored Gilgamesh gauntlets increase his striking power, letting him shatter huge monoliths with a lethal one-inch punch.

**Boomstick: With Lucifer- the backpack, not the devil- Dante basically throws infinite lightsabers. He's also got an electric guitar, which is literally electric, ice powered nunchucks, grenade launchers, shotguns, and, I kid you not, a briefcase that can transform into 666 different weapons, ranging from a giant beyblade to a flying turret gun. Where does he possibly keep all this stuff?**

Wiz: Really, really deep pockets, or perhaps its one of his Styles, abilities he's also acquired from defeating demon bosses. With Doppelganger Style, he can duplicate himself, with Trickster Style, he can teleport instantly, with Royalguard Style, he becomes a nigh-impervious dreadnaught, and he can even slow down time with the Quicksilver Style.

(\*Cues: Blackened Angel (Battle) - Devil May Cry 4

**Boomstick: On the rare occasion Dante feels he needs to get serious, he enters the Devil Trigger, a transformation which taps into his demonic heritage to unleash his true devil form. Devil Trigger dramatically increases his strength, speed, and healing power, and he can fly!**

Wiz: Being so well armed, Dante is more than capable of handling entire courts of demons on his own, although this doesn't stop some of his allies from joining in from time to time. This includes Trish, a demon lady who occasionally fights alongside him, and happens to resemble his deceased mother... talk about giving somebody an Oedipus complex.

**Boomstick: Hey, if I may quote an old family saying, "If she's not directly related, she's safe to be dated".**

Wiz: That explains a lot. Luckily, and quite surprisingly, that avenue was never explored, thank God.

(\*Cues: Shall Never Surrender - Devil May Cry 4\*)

**Boomstick: Dante is a walking, talking, feat achieving machine. One time, after getting impaled by four demons at once, he pushed one so hard, it exploded, and dropped a ceiling fan on the other three, all while eating a slice of pizza. Oh, and when their friends showed up, he challenged them to a game of billiards.**

*Dante fires a bullet from his gun to knock the balls into the demons, knocking them out cold.*

**Boomstick: He won.**

Wiz: Dante has run down the side of a building so fast he caught fire, similar to a spacecraft reentering the atmosphere at approximately 17,000 miles per hour.

**Boomstick: And he's even capable of taking out others just as overpowered as himself. like his brother Vergil, who was not dead, but evil.**

Wiz: He stopped a colossal punch from this titanic monster without breaking a sweat, shrugged off bombardment by meteors, and eventually avenged his mother by defeating the demon lord Mundus, in space.

**Boomstick: You may be asking yourself, "Can anything stop this guy?" Yes. Dante does have a limit to how much punishment he can take, but if there's anything that could take him down, it's his own cocky attitude.**

Wiz: In the words of the ancient Chinese philosopher Laozi, "There is no greater danger than underestimating your opponent."

**Boomstick: I'm gonna have to disagree with old Laozi here. I'm pretty sure there's no greater danger than telling a woman those pants do, in fact, make her ass look fat.**

*Sid: You bastard!*

*He runs at Dante and leaps at him, Dante aims his gun at Sid.*

*Dante: And jackpot.*

*He fires, striking Sid.*

## Death Battle

*FIGHT!*

*KO!*

## Results

(\*Cues: Unknown Theme\*)

**Boomstick: Aaahhhh, man - here comes the rage from the God of War fanboys!**

Wiz: Kratos is a very difficult one to beat, but Dante's superior capabilities and demonic prowess proved too much for him.

**Boomstick: Yeah, normally, that last attack would've meant the end for his opponent, but not Dante!**

Wiz: And while much of Kratos' arsenal was forged by Olympians, Olympus is composed of Earthly elements, and is not another plane of existence like the Demon World, so it stands to reason that the Olympian weapons wouldn't compare to Dante's Devil Arms.

**Boomstick: Except the Blade of Olympus, but it wasn't enough to stop Dante.**

Wiz: Plus, Dante's own regeneration made it hard for Kratos to do enough damage to even incapacitated the Devil Hunter.

**Boomstick: Well, that was one *Hell* of a fight!**

Wiz: The winner is Dante.

## Video

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