Krystal The Prostitute

Krystal in a glittery, although unfortunately not pink, bikini

## Early Life

Krystal may or may not have been raised by a single mother, although due to her propensity for lying, this is disputable. She grew up in the area. After dropping out of high school in grade 9, her mother either encouraged her to go back or into prostitution like her.

## Notable Events

### A Change of Pace

Krystal lived and worked out of her car, a green toyota sunfire, for some time, although that changed when she was in a car accident. It was this incident that lead to her finally getting a roof over her head, a condo in the Tracey building where she happily squatted. It was here where she threw many parties, lived, and worked for some time.

### Green?

Krystal once managed to turn green by visiting the illegal Methodist tanning salon. She found this very shocking, and thankfully went back to a normal skin colour after a bit.

### A New Pet!

Krystal found a new pet! It was a piebald kitten, and she decided to name it Mercedes, supposeably after her mother. After she figured out what to feed it, and learned that cats do not like vegetables, they became good friends and got on quite well.

### The "Eviction"

After attacking Bré Forde with a glass jar of hot pink glitter in the 7/11 parking lot, she moved into the Forde Estate, claiming to be madly in love with his fiancée Cora Springsteen. She then moved into the Forde Estate by claiming to want to help Cora during this troubled time. Instead, she threw a massive house party, forcing Cora along with her child out. When Cora discovered Krystal's crush, she disavowed her, causing Krystal to declare that she would not allow neither Cora nor Bré back into the mansion. An eventful several weeks followed, during which Krystal "renovated" by painting all the walls pink and having purple shag carpet installed. She accomplished this by selling off items in the mansion left behind by the rightful owners. During her occupation, she somehow managed to clog every toilet in the house. Instead of calling a plumber, she chose to have an outhouse installed on the front lawn. "Unfortunately" for Krystal, her dreams of being a rich house owner came to an end when she got a full-body sunburn and had to leave for aloe vera. Since she had never changed the locks, it was quite simple for Bré Forde to come back in through the front door using the key. Upon her return, Krystal found a security team guarding the property, Bré firmly ensconced in his house, and a helicopter in the hedge. And so ended Krystal's adventure as a home owner... for now.

### Councilwoman

Krystal's next attempt in seizing power and influence came in a different form. To stop accusations of him being gay, Dave Miller hired her as his girlfriend. He then placed her on the council, a move that had many raising their eyebrows. Krystal's first move was to attempt to glitterfy the town using the power invested in her as a council member. Fortunately, it didn't take long to get her deposed.

### The name change

Unfortunately for Krystal, the government noticed that she was going by a mononym. To Krystal's dismay, she was forced to get a last name. However, she refused to fall in line and got a name that suited her: Amythest. Note the spelling.

### Grandmotherhood

After holding a party, Krystal lost track of her cat, Mercedes. Mercedes spent the weekend living large away from the Tracey Building, having fun and getting into trouble. To Krystal's relief, her cat was found, but it eventually became apparent that something had changed. Mercedes began puking on the bed, getting fat, and acting weird. It became undeniable that she was pregnant. She gave birth to five kittens, named Amythest (f), Luster (m), Cinderella (m), Flirtie (f), and Spirit (f), while Krystal was out partying. Krystal was not dealing well with the additions to the household, claiming that they cramped her style by making her wear clothes to avoid their sharp claws.

### Election campaign

Krystal still lusted for power. So, what better way to get it than legitimately? Krystal successfully made it past the primaries, however she was not pleased to come in second to a raccoon. After an unusually long campaign trail and voting period, Krystal fulfilled her desire to become "supermayor". The reason for this, she claimed, was that Dave couldn't count the votes without fainting from happiness.

## Guide Series

Krystal's AMAZING guide on friendships![1]

Krystal's TOTALLY AWESOME guide to enemies!![2]

Krystal's SUPER COOL guide on ROMANCE!!![3]

Krystal's WONDERFUL guide to home ownership!! (NO MONEY NECESSARY!!!) (TESTED!!!)[4]

Krystal's AWESOME guide to preventing home invasions!!![5]

Krystal's INFORMATIVE guide on squirrel trapping!!![6]

Krystal's FANTASTIC guide to getting what you want!!![7]

Krystal's EXCELLENT guide on dating!!![8]

Krystal's BORING guide on how to be a BORING PERSON!!![9]

Krystal's AMAZING guide on getting REVENGE on your ex!![10]

Krystal's GLORIOUS guide to archaeological dance![11]

Krystal's SEXY guide on how to be SEXY!!![12]

Krystal's EXCELLENT guide on how to ride a BIKE!![13]

Krystal's BEAUTIFUL guide on how to develop INNER BEAUTY!![14]

Krystal's FANTASTIC guide to ANTHROPOLOGICAL dance!![15]

Krystals BEAUTIFUL guide to developing OUTER beauty!![16]

Krystal's EXCELLENT guide on how to be an EXCELLENT person!![17]

Krystal's EXCITING guide on how to NOT be boring!![18]

Krystal's TERRIBLE guide on how to be a TERRIBLE PERSON!!![19]

Krystals AMAZING guide on how to host an AMAZING party!![20]

Krystal's SUPER HELPFUL guide to taking care of a CAT!![21]

Krystal's HELPFUL, SPECIAL EDITION elections guide on how to VOTE!![22]

Krystal's CANDLEY, MENORAHTASTIC guide to HANNUKUH!![23]

Krystal's FESTIVE guide to Christmas!![24]

Krystal's JOYOUS guide to Kwanzaa!![25]

Krystal's HAPPY guide to New Year's!![26]

Krystal's RAGING guide to throwing an AMAZING party!![27]

Krystal's WINNING guide to WINNING!![28]

Krystal's KISSABLE guide to VALENTINE'S day!![29]

Krystal's ICEY guide to WINTER!![30]

Krystal's WELL-RECEIVED guide to being CONTROVERSIAL!![31]

Krystal's CONFIDENT guide to high school![32]

Krystal's MAYORIFIC guide to being mayor![33]

Krystal's TUNEFUL guide to songwriting!![34]

## Quotes

### From Krystal

*It is a garment worn on top of your genitals to delay your partner's gratification as they rip off your clothes! -*Krystal on underwear.

*ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!*- Krystal expressing her rage at not being allowed to kill someone.

*You SUCK!*- Krystal insulting someone in her typical manner.

*Nah, my dad ran off before I was born, you must be thinking of someone else.*- Krystal contradicting herself again.

*Awww Bré! I am BRIGHT and SHINY like my namesake! Expect me over a lot while you guys mourn for moral support!*- Krystal's attempt at being subtely threatening.

*As the town prostitute, you can ALWAYS count on me for a good time, whatever that good time may be! Rain or shine, I am THERE for YOU! My prices are low, fair, and sexy! Depending on who's asking... BUT it is always the BEST price for YOU!*

*Choose fun. Choose sexy. Choose KRYSTAL! -*Krystal advertising herself.

*Have you considered retail? Don't do anything whorish though, that's my angle and if you move in on it I will CUT you! 😘*- Krystal being blatantly threatening.

*Reading? But why would I read? -*Krystal refusing to better herself.

*I do NOT wreck homes!!! I IMPROVE them and make them SPARKLE!!!*- Krystal on her house stealing proclivities.

*I think I would have NOTICED if he'd been INSIDE me!!!* - Krystal on Jesus.

*[Dave] ACTUALLY took so long because every time he tried to announce [the votes for the election], he FAINTED from happiness!* - Krystal bending the truth.

### About/to Krystal

*Krystal, you horrid leech, you will rue the day you hurt my friends.*- Sam Sadler, in relation to Krystal's recent heinous act of eviction.

*You’re nothing but a filthy little hypocrite who blames other people for all of her problems, and then expects those people to lift her out of the situations she gets herself into!*- Lord Stephen Wolfram Rawling

*Why would that be any step of logic?! Ah yes, this person is happily engaged, but she’s secretly in love with me, so I’m just going to attack her fiancé with a bottle so that she just*needs*to be with me. That’s insane Krystal. Why on earth would you think that’s okay?!*- Cora Springsteen after Krystal's attack on Bré Forde.

*You sound like a 7 year old.*- Cora Springsteen in an argument with Krystal.

*This is... the peak of degeneracy.*- Lord Stephen Wolfram Rawling, in reference to Bré Forde's "eviction".

*How are you affording so much glitter?*- JustJohn questioning Krystal's bad finances.

*Oh, god, Krystal, why are you doing this to yourself? Please, go home. Go home and lie down.*- Norma Parole, watching Krystal's bad decisions.

*Psychologists would make a killing off of you, Krystal.*- Bré Forde on Krystal's logic.

*Krystal is Chrestine's friend so that must mean she's pretty good.*- Fred, housebound agoraphobe, on Krystal's character.

*Krystal challenges our traditional view of art by forcing us to watch a piece of performative dance that cannot truly be described by words and has to be seen to be believed; doubtlessly, she challenges the role of the artist in society, and the meaning of art itself.​​​​​​​*- Ernest Bergmann, in a review of an art show.

*Krystal, you continually amaze me. Every morning I wake up and believe this town can't be any dumber than yesterday, but then I talked to you and was proven wrong.* - Garret C. Stoneman in a discussion with Krystal.

*If it couldn’t be SUMO GNOME then you were my next favorite choice!!* - Auntie Louise, in reference to Krystal winning the election.