AMBiTiON/Story/Ch. 12

## Chapter 12 - Low on Red Ink

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With a hopelessly weighed down heart, Chihiro laid on her bed, meaninglessly staring at the ceiling. She thought her band project was going so well. Maybe that was just wishful thinking, after all. Was everything Chihiro involved with inevitably going to end in demise? … Why her?

Feeling more lost than ever, Chihiro searched for something to distract herself. 'Oh, that's right,' She picked up her phone, the screen light blinding her for a second as Chihiro searched up the anime website in her dark bedroom.

It only felt like a couple of days ago when Chihiro would have laughed at anyone that watched stuff like this. And yet here she was, seeking consolation in something as silly as some animated show. 'At least it might make Sorae-chan happy to know I'm still watching MagiGal.'

After looking up Majika MagiGal on AntennAnime, Chihiro tapped on episode five and started watching...

The sound of a pencil at work started and stopped, started and stopped. In the middle of the classroom sat an expressionless girl who stared down some papers on her desk.

Meanwhile, Popular Gal and Tiny Introvert lurked around because they thought they detected negative magic energy somewhere inside their middle school, and just as they were about to finally leave, Gal realized she left a textbook in her classroom and headed there.

She spotted her homeroom teacher peering through the door's little window. "What are you doing, Sensei?"

"Oh? I'm just checking on her… She's having trouble with homework so she's staying behind. Did you need something?"

"Just to get my textbook~! 'Scuse me."

The teacher left, apparently to get something from the faculty room, and Gal slid open the door.

Writing, erasing, rewriting a single sentence. Like a robot. The expressionless girl began to mutter. The negative magic's source seemed to be in that very room, noted Tiny.

Then, the muttering turned into screaming.

Suddenly Gal and Tiny found themselves head to head against a weird beast, standing over its homework like a dragon hoarding treasure.

As the battle initiated, like every other fight in MagiGal, quotes were being thrown around, probably for verbal attack... or something along the lines of that. With each move the monster or Gal took, it roared aggressive criticisms detailing each and every mistake either of them made. Although Gal was being hurt by the harsh words, the monster was also hurting itself, but it kept attacking as if it couldn't feel a thing. For an anime directed towards young insecure girls, Chihiro was slightly surprised at the extent of some of their dialogue.

"You're not helping anyone! You're just plain insulting both of us at this point!" Gal yelled with her squeaky anime voice.

"What's most important is that everyone knows their failures!" Growled the monster. "You puny little girl is just too sensitive to accept that some people have standards!"

"I get it! Failure is key to learning! Practice makes perfect!" Gal clenched her teeth as she tried to summon her magical wand. "But can't you see you're hurting yourself? You're going too far!"

"Who cares that I'm hurting myself?! It doesn't matter when quality is at stake!"

"Who doesn't care? I know I do!" Miss MagiGal herself whipped out her magical wand and unleashed her special move, banishing the monster's corrupt heart and restoring the girl's soul.

With the bright colours flashing across the screen, Chihiro suddenly realized that the beast's lines were oddly reminiscent of a certain Mai Moriuchi.

"Ugh!" Chihiro groaned, audibly. "Does everything have to remind me of that girl…?" Though, with her heart feeling heavy once again, the auburn-haired girl had to wonder how much of the beast's sentiments were shared by the lone wolf Moriuchi-san.

Chihiro idly watched the ending song play when a notification from the group chat appeared. About to get irritated by the fact that she was having to be reminded of The Ordeal one more time, she noticed something felt weird. Chihiro tapped the notification.

"Sent by Sorae Ishizawa, 10:32PM: 'uh izumi chan can i come to haneoka monday afterschool?? need to talk to moriuchi san"'

Even her deep breaths were shaky.

Sorae tried her best to calm herself down, but nothing was working. Why did she ever think this was going to be a good idea? Every step she was about to take will turn out wrong, surely. Say something about herself, she would come across egotistical. Say something about Moriuchi-san, she would come across judgemental. Say nothing at all, she would be wasting time and looking like an idiot for telling Moriuchi-san she wanted to talk. It was true, Sorae really was a waste of time like Moriuchi-san said last Friday.

The umbrella in Sorae's hands trembled, the pattering of rain harmonizing with the static raging inside her head. It felt like her heart skipped every other beat, her eyes focusing and unfocusing as if she were somehow getting spontaneous cataracts, her stomach writhing with pain and fear while the butterflies fought their way out. Sorae felt heat on her cheeks and neck, yet chills on her back. She felt her lower jaw shuddering in anxiety, and most of all, the confusion and terror pressing harder and harder on her head until her legs became unstable with the vertigo tearing itself into her. Sorae pulled at her already unbrushed and damp hair, repeatedly licking her lips fearfully as the highschool girls in gray uniforms passed by her, concerned. She just couldn't do it. She couldn't.

"Ey, Raa-kun." Izumi greeted her friend, droplets bouncing off her plain teal umbrella. "Caterpillar splash~!"

Oh, it was time. Sorae thought she felt a ball of words get caught in her throat, looking up from the ground to the short, curly-haired girl.

Izumi stood at Haneoka's school gate, turning to someone Sorae couldn't see but could predict. "Moriuchi-san~! Raa-kun's here."

The gray-hearted figure revealed herself to Sorae, her moss-green hair flowing behind her. She stared at Sorae with a straight face and glaring eyes. The static in Sorae's head turned louder by the second.

"I-I'm here… to t-t-talk to you…" Sorae managed to stammer the words out.

Moriuchi-san continued to stare at her. "Follow me." She ominously started to walk away, Sorae stumbling behind her.

"Hey, what about me~?" Izumi called to Moriuchi-san, who was leaving.

She halted and turned, "Ishizawa-senpai requested to talk to me. I suppose you can wait for the moment."

Looking indignant, Izumi plopped down on a bench while Moriuchi-san led the terrified Sorae away.

The pink-haired girl watched her feet move as she trailed behind Moriuchi-san, passing puddles where rain made spreading ripples. The heavier the raindrop, the bigger the waves. The lighter, the smaller. Cause and effect. Sorae wished she could think about something useful, like reciting what she planned to say, but instead the only thing that played in her mind was what led her to this moment.

Due to Chihiro watching the series, as well as waiting for season two, Sorae was rewatching Majika MagiGal a couple of days ago when she reached episode five. Just like the other episodes, it made Sorae wonder what she would say in that situation… Until the incident last Friday happened. Even though she was so afraid of Moriuchi-san, somehow thanks to the episode, Sorae could sympathize with the girl she was scared of. She thought a fictional character could apply to a real person. She thought she could just chat with Moriuchi-san and it would magically fix everything. She thought.

Sorae's head swam, the world beneath her swaying, barely aware of her own feet moving as she walked. And walked.

Unfittingly, the sky brightened.

She glanced up as Moriuchi-san finally stopped. They were at the side of the school, no one else in sight. It was like a strange alleyway. Sorae's stomach ache worsened with the isolation.

"Well? I'm not here to waste time. Say what you have to say." Moriuchi-san ordered, her stern gaze piercing into Sorae.

Desperately trying to calm her nerves, Sorae took as deep a breath as she could. She wasn't ready. Although her throat was tied into a knot, the fidgety girl began speaking anyways.

"I-I… M-Moriuchi-san… I'm sorry."

"Um… The first time you talked to me… I overreacted. And then, then that second time… I-I talked back. So like, I know you-- Moriuchi-san, I know you were trying to help me. And I didn't mean to say all that about you. It's like you said. I might as well be a k-kid... I don't know anything, I don't..."

An uncomfortable sourness rose in her throat.

Sorae's apology was cut short by a sudden bout of tears rolling down her cheeks, but she was hardly aware. Why? Why couldn't she finish such a simple apology about something so minor? Sorae at least tried to mute herself, but with her uncontrollably sharp inhales, she just couldn't stop it. At least it was only the silent type of crying, but still… Really?

For a second, her body seemed to go numb. She couldn't seem to control anything. Sorae could see her hair trembling, feel her jaws clenching. Tears… not the sad kind. She wasn't sad. She was scared.

Of what? Of Moriuchi-san? No, she was sympathizing with her just a moment ago. All that ran through Sorae's head were regrets, thinking if only she didn't retaliate, if only she never met this girl-- heck, if only she'd never met Aki, Chihiro, and Izumi, if only she never lost that sketchbook, and went home as usual, and quarantined herself inside her room and drew and watched anime and procrastinated until the sunlight from the window went out and she would lay there. In the dark. In her room. She couldn't be bothered to get up and turn on the lights - It was fine as is. She was happy… That was happy.

How did she ever think that was 'happy'?

It felt like forever until Sorae's tears died down. As the drizzle came to a gradual stop, Moriuchi-san closed her transparent umbrella as it was now obsolete, finally breaking eye contact with Sorae, even for just a moment. Sorae reluctantly forced herself to do the same - though her arms began to ache from all the shaking and umbrella-holding, she felt a sense of protection under that surface.

Moriuchi-san held regret in her eyes and spoke, her voice quiet but retaining sternness. "Ishizawa-senpai. You're really going to take my side? Or are you hoping to win me over by siding with me?" The forest-haired girl stared at Sorae, she could tell even through her blurry vision, fogged by tears. "Listen here, I recognize what I did wrong: I wasn't paying attention to you at all. I criticized you when you weren't looking for criticism. And with the way I acted, perhaps I was really trying to convince myself that I was right. In fact, I believe I should thank you for having the courage to talk back - You pointed out my mistakes. So Ishizawa-senpai, I don't see why you are defending me." Moriuchi-san narrowed her eyes. "Or is the answer obvious? Am I simply too blind to see that part as well?"

Hearing the unexpectedly kind words only sparked more tears from Sorae. She couldn't believe that Moriuchi-san would be saying things like that. A first-year speaking so calmly to a second-year crying like some child - Who could have imagined?

All of a sudden, Moriuchi-san seemed to impulsively put her umbrella away, leaning it against the wall, to reach and hold Sorae's hand firmly. The first-year's hand was warm. For the first time Sorae had seen, the girl's face softened and she comforted in a gentle voice.

"Come on, I've still got more to say. Take deep breaths."

The girl's umbrella fell over with a clack on the ground. Sorae didn't need Moriuchi-san's instruction - The warmth in her hand was enough. Sorae breathed as much as she could manage, fighting the quick gasps of air. Gradually, she calmed down, but the bizarreness of the situation soon took over Sorae.

"S… So I really am a k-kid…" The messy-haired girl murmured.

Moriuchi-san ignored Sorae's self-deprecating comment. "Would you like to know why I joined your band?" She asked, her voice still soft. Wordlessly, Sorae nodded.

"Do you remember my younger sister, Fuyuna? She was the one urging me to find someone to spend time with. To be honest, I'm not quite sure how I'm hurting myself…" She shrugged, "but Fuyuna insists so, and you did too. So when I found out Takimoto-senpai is in a band, due to her sister Kiyomi being Fuyuna's bandmate, I decided to join you..."

Moriuchi-san let out a sigh. "And yet I didn't change. I pretended I was following her suggestion just by being in your proximity, when I barely speak to any of you. I kept up my independent act and refused to work with anyone in your band, and even hurt you. I keep getting the thought that I'm wasting my time here. And I still think that, when apparently I'm not supposed to. I'm sure Fuyuna must be disappointed in me." She lowered her gaze, filled with regret and confusion. "Yes. I'm sorry for all of that. How pathetic of me, that I can't even do what I think is 'right' without hurting someone that doesn't deserve it…"

"... But I-I want you."

Moriuchi-san blinked. "Hm?"

"I don't really get it, but…" The second-year searched for the right words, "uh, you just... did what you thought was right. A-And that isn't a bad thing, so yeah… I want you in my band. WE want you in our band..." Sorae's amber gaze hardened, sincerely looking into Moriuchi-san's eyes. "Y-You're the right one, um, I can tell."

"... Thank you, Ishizawa-senpai." Moriuchi-san let a tiny smile appear, allowing herself to relax.

Sorae showed a small smile back. "A-And, call me by my first name. I'm… Sorae."

"My name is Mai.

Only at that moment could Sorae hear her heart beating in relief's silence. Gradually, it sunk in: she did it… She did it. She bothered to do it.

Mai let go of her hand, and somehow Sorae found herself disappointed. "Well, we need to get back to Takimoto-senpai. She has been waiti--"

"Raa-kun!!!!"

From around the corner, a short silhouette appeared and dive bombed Sorae, hugging her. An open teal umbrella was chucked away.

"Yay!! You did it, Raa-kun~!!"

"Takimoto-senpai?! How long have you been there...?" Startled, Mai's face turned a faint pink as she realized that Izumi heard everything.

Izumi turned to her. "That's Izumin to you, MAI-CHAN!!" She proceeded to hug Mai instead, locking the first-year from moving as Izumi immobilized her arms.

"I can't believe you two are my upperclassmen," exasperatedly muttered Mai, not bothering to struggle against Izumi's ambush. Even with her vision still misty from tears, Sorae couldn't help but smile more. It turned out okay after all.

Getting up wasn't that much of a hassle, was it?

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## Trivia

* Mai's initial 3\* card is displayed in this story.