Are You a Good Gambit or a Bad Gambit?

Are You a Good Gambit or a Bad Gambit? is the fourth chapter in the Wombles Five.

Later Mrs Peel and Gambit were driving somewhere.  “Where are we going?” asked Mrs Peel.  “You’ll see” replied Gambit.  “Mike, I’m going to be your wife tomorrow, you can’t keep secrets from me.”  “Yes I can.”  “Oh ok then, as long as it’s a nice secret.”  Gambit ignored her and just kept driving.

They stopped amongst lots of a type of plant that Mrs Peel hadn’t seen before.  The plants started to move around them.  They lifted the car.  Mrs Peel screamed.  The plants put them down onto the roof of the nearest building.  The car fell through and Gambit still seemed calm.  “Are you insane?” said Mrs Peel.  They landed upside down then a gun was repeatedly fired through the smashed car window.  Gambit ducked and got out quickly, seeing lots of bullets go into Mrs Peel.  “Why aren’t you dead?” he asked.  Mrs Peel struggled out of the car and said, “Cathy once killed me, then Dr Jon Von Pincher and Dr Diabolical Diablo brought me back to life with an immortality device. But if you expected me to be killed why did you take me here?”

Gambit didn’t answer. He just began to walk away.  He went out a door.  But that door didn’t lead outside.  Mrs Peel looked through the window in the door.  She saw Gambit and someone else who she couldn’t see properly talking.  All she could see of that person was the tip of their umbrella.  She gasped.  “I recognise that umbrella.  Could both Mike and Steed be evil?  No, no, that can’t be right.  But who else could that umbrella belong to?  Unless…”  She didn’t say any more than that but I think you have probably worked out who her guess of who the umbrella belonged to was.  If you haven’t, just keep reading.

Cathy was waiting for Steed to get back.  She decided to watch the Avengers.  “Why do Mrs Peel and John keep being in it?” she said when it was finished.  Then she realised that another channel was showing a different series of it.  She put that on.  “Huh?” she said when it finished.  “Why was I in that?”  After that the New Avengers was on.  “Why are Purdey and Gambit in this?  And why is there pictures of me, Mrs Peel and Tara in it?”  She was so confused now that she drew a question mark on the TV Control, accidentally pressing lots of buttons at the same time.  The TV screen went fuzzy for a moment then showed a green background with the words, “Exciting lookback” in gold.  Then it showed Cathy hitting Rhonda with a hammer. Then it showed Bungo running away from Rover.  Then it showed Tara climbing up a radar tower.  Then it showed Venus leaping out of the boot of Dr King’s car.  Then it showed Wombat picking up the Wombat Phone. Then it showed Mr Class hypnotising Idaho.  Then it showed gas pouring out of a phone at Madame Cholet.  Then it showed Bungo knocking on the door of the burrow from inside. Then it showed Cathy and Mrs Peel fighting in the room with the Existence Jewel.

Cathy got bored with this very soon so pressed the off button on the TV control, but the TV stayed on. It was now showing every time when someone had fainted.  Cathy tried to turn it off again but then it just froze for a moment and changed to a yellow elephant with green spots dancing around.  Suddenly Cathy realised the sound was off.  She turned it on and singing was heard.

*Mr Snoodle*

*Do the doodle*

*Mr Snoodle*

*Do the doodle*

Cathy tried to turn it off again.  It changed to a white screen with the sound of crying.  She tried to turn off one last time, and finally it worked, but she could still hear the crying.  She followed the noise upstairs.  It was Thomas and Lucy.  She sighed and rocked their cots.  “I hope John gets back soon, wherever he’s gone.” She said to herself.  Suddenly there was a knock on the door.  Cathy went down and answered it.

Steed came in, followed by Purdey, followed by Gambit, followed by Mrs Peel.  “Are you Mrs Gambit yet?” asked Cathy.  “No, that’s tomorrow.” Replied Mrs Peel.  “Oh” said Cathy.  “Anyway, why are you all here?”  “Well I’m here because I live here” said Steed.  “Apart from you” said Cathy.  “I’m here because Mike is” said Mrs Peel.  “I’m here because Purdey took me here” said Gambit.  “And what about you Purdey?  What are you doing here?” asked Cathy.  “I was going to show Gambit that hair you found on Steed’s hat and see what he thinks.” Replied Purdey.  “What hair?” asked Gambit.  Purdey showed him.  “Well it probably just fell out whilst Cathy was standing next to it” he said.  “How come you came up with the exact same explanation as Purdey?” asked Cathy.  Gambit shrugged and went away with Mrs Peel.  Purdey stayed there.  “Why are you still here?  Ever since I’ve been Queen then our house has been invaded!” complained Cathy.  Purdey shrugged and said, “I’ve still got nothing to do in the whole of London.”

“Well here’s something for you” said Steed.  They looked out of the window and saw a long line of wombles in army uniform.  They were carrying old fashioned rifles that the everyday folk left behind.  “OK” said Purdey who looked a little longer than the others.  She also saw a lot wombles in black stretchy suits diving down from the sky.  Those wombles were holding swords that the more unusual folk left behind.

“Are you coming Gambit? You can knock a load of wombles out” said Purdey.  “Make a change from knocking me out” he replied casually.  “What was that?” asked Mrs Peel.  “I was just telling Purdey to knock out those wombles!” said Gambit quickly covering his mistake.  “KNOCK OUT WOMBLES!” shouted Mrs Peel.  “THOSE ARE MY WOMBLES!” she shouted even louder.  Cathy had had enough of Mrs Peel.

“Mrs Peel! If you continue to boss people in our house we will take your wig away!” said Cathy sternly. “Wig?” asked Gambit.  “She said the house is big” said Mrs Peel hastily then left before she got into trouble.  Gambit sighed with great relief and ran out with Purdey to clobber the wombles. “I’m glad that’s over John, I’m going out” said Cathy.  “Out?” said Steed.  “OUT!” said Cathy and threw him a packet of nappies, some wet wipes, sleep suits and bottles of formula.  “What?” said Steed and tried some formula.  “Eurrgh!” he said then spat it out.  “This is horrible!” he said to Cathy and swigged a bit of brandy to take the taste away.  “For the babies idiot!” said Cathy and went for a drive in her Lotus.

Steed felt something in his jacket pocket.  It was purple serum!  He put some in both bottles, changed Thomas and Lucy and fed them.  With great relief he saw they were adults again.  “Here you are!” he said giving them suits to wear and a gun each.  “Thanks Dad!” they said and took the keys for the Rolls Royce that used to belong to the old Queen before the womblets fell.  Off they drove to find to some fun!

Shansi was desperately trying to escape the crystal ball.  Now all the vombles were attacking London there was a chance.  She rocked the ball violently by twisting her body. Eventually it rocked free of the stand and rolled along a hard floor.  It rolled along to an open door and out.  Out of a giant airship!

Shansi was plummeting down from the sky at a deadly rate.  The wombles had reached Avengers HQ and the giant robot guard that Wellington had created was just about crush General Bulgaria.  The giant foot loomed over him.  He prepared himself to die.  Bang! The robot fell over and stopped. General Bulgaria looked up to see Shansi climbing out of a broken glass ball that had embedded itself into the robot head.