Home... I suppose

*Bored.* Shoo.
So bored. *No.*

I wanna play.*Play elsewhere.*

“Doctor!” I snapped back to
reality, almost falling back from my chair. *Him*
again*. I felt a thwap on the top of my head and I looked up to see a*
grimaced face, upside down. “I’ve been calling you for the past few, and you
don’t even answer with anything!” Niall looked pissed. *Sounds pissed too.* “People were looking for you everywhere
frantically, and you’re lucky I even found you beside those two.” He stepped
back from me, picking up my coat and scattered syringes everywhere, putting my
knitting needles aside so my room didn’t look like total dogshit. *You look like dogshit.* “I swear, the
only thing clean about you is the way you kill, and even that’s not all the
time.”

Sitting up
straight, I rubbed my neck while turning around, and Niall stood in front of me
again, my coat now empty of my concoctions and folded in his arms. I blinked
slowly and then spoke in my deep voice, rough from being dry and unused for a
while. “Thanks, I suppose.” I reached out, grabbing my canteen on my desk and I
took a swig. *It’s just water, lame.* “And
also, I did tell you I’d be there.”

“Burf, you told
us you would *go* there,” Niall
continued chastising me. “Not stay there to sleep with your drug buddies.”

“Shh, shh, I
didn’t sleep. I did a mental ‘tactical retreat’.” I gulped down another
mouthful. “It always works, it keeps me alive.”

“Pssh. We keep
you alive.” He turned a quick 180 and slowly walked out, stopping just before
the door. “But we won’t clean you up. Fix yourself up before you leave the
room. It’s not Halloween yet.”

I gave his back
a thumbsup before the door closed shut softly, and I groggily got up to fix my
shit up.

 I just finished
dressing up in actual clothes and not dirt-caked rags when the bell for dinner
rang. *Or was it for breakfast?*I
picked up one of the needles, more for fidgeting with than to actually knit
anything, and headed for the door.

Walking slowly
along the long hallway leading up to the dining room, I look up at the empty
walls. I figured that it was him that he’d have pictures of himself all around,
but surprisingly, his massive ego didn’t eat up our funds and our clean lonely
walls. *Maybe he just has a massive one in*
his office, and we just can’t see it. *I reached the door and I look down at*
myself again. Ragged slacks. *Can’t even*
dress right. *Slippers over my socks.* They
aren’t even matching. *Shirt.* Just
shirt. *Oh well, whatever.*

I enter, the smell of food
hitting me right in my face and I took a deep breath before walking over to my
seat, the one to my left empty and Niall to my right, eating silently. Everyone
else was in their places, most still eating, the rest relaxing and conversing
with each other. I sat down heavily, Niall raising an eyebrow at me before
continuing his meal. The door behind me opened and latched close, and I looked
behind to see Raf hopping towards me and then sitting down on my left side,
putting her knife down on the table and waving me a quick hello before chowing
down. I smile before looking down, the food still steaming. *No meat, so I guess it’s safe.*I dig in,
shoveling the food down, realizing how hungry I am, and sat back on my chair
after wolfing the whole plate. Dem wasn’t here again, I noticed. Probably
dealing with the director again. *More*
like toying, am I right? *No.*

I look around once more, everyone
still taking their time in the dining room. Sass was playing a casual game of
blackjack with JD, the latter scratching his head fervently, supposedly from
losing too many times. A little to the left, I see Shaf and Spoon, food still
on their plates but forgotten due to their conversation. The chef was just
grimacing and shaking his head, his food left untouched. *Because you intoxicated the meat.* Hoot was staring out the window,
and Sun was smoking up a storm beside it, leaving a small gap for the smoke to
escape.

I stared up at the ceiling for a
while, twirling and fiddling with my needleto get my thoughts in better order, before
continuing to look at the other members. Niall was still eating, swirling his
spoon around his stew every couple or so spoonfuls. Probably still wary due to
last week’s meals. With his height compared to how short I was, his bushy hair
not helping, I’m glad we were at the end of the table, else I’d have to stand
up everytime I want to see past him. *You’re*
just too short, bitch. *Looking to my left, I saw Raf playing around with*
her food, her hand often times reaching for her knife before pulling it back
every time she noticed. Soda sat beside her, chatting cheerily with Al to her
left. Probably about the next time they raid together or something. And
finally, Webb was sitting in the corner of the table, eyes closed, fingers
tapping in consistent rhythms.

A soft furry feeling brushed past
my hands and without looking down, I reached out and picked up Temyy by the
scruff of his neck, putting him on my lap to let him lick up the remaining soup
left in my plate. The chef, Tibbs, snapped his eyes and I pretended not to
notice.

I set my eyes back on the
darkness of the ceiling. There are a lot of people. I’m not used to people,
always choosing not to interact with them, never making any eye contact to
avoid anyone. But somehow these people are different. It feels like… *Home?* Home. Been a while since I thought
of that word. But it does sound good.

I kept rolling the word around my
mind and inside my mouth until I felt a tug on my shirt from behind. I stopped
twirling my needle, and turned, seeing Neena behind me, carrying a clipboard.
Probably just finished planning. “Dem is looking for you,” She whispered.
“Like, right now.” Nevermind, that clipboard was probably full of the lines she
wanted to say. Wait, Dem needs to talk to me. *You’re fucked.* Ah fuck.