A Yulemas Very Merry

A Yulemas Very Merry was a two part Christmas special episode, DMed by Edan Lacey and Simon Greiner. Part 1 was released on December 13, 2018 on the Omny.fm aggregator, although not on the Dragon Friends website.

This episode is an even sillier version of the dimension-hopping theme introduced in Season 4.

## Introduction

IT'S YULEMAS TIME BABIES! YOUR HOT UNCLES, EDAN AND SIMON ARE BACK AGAIN, DMING THEIR TINY SHORTS OFF FOR YOUR SEASONAL ENJOYMENT. SIT DOWN, HIT PLAY AND NOG IT UP!

With special guests Claire Kavanagh, Matthew Roden, Tom Walker and Tom Cardy.

## Synopsis

### Part One

On Yulemas Eve, while putting out a glass of milk for the no-longer-extant Father Yulemas, Philge is transported by a milk fairy named Moonika, the Dairy Queen, into the Milk Dimension, a continuous space that flows between realities. There she discovers Froyo and Jerb Zebos, who were accidentally transported here by Froyo's mis-cast *misty step* spell (at the end of *A Merry Very Yulemas*). They have no notion of how long they have been here, but Froyo, horrified of having to have spent so long with a being of utter evil (who likes charades despite lacking any limbs), assumes hopefully that Philge has come to rescue him. She has no way to leave, however, though other "yoghurt worlds" do press up against the Milk Dimension at times - none of which have been Faerun. Moonika offers to transport them into the next one to arrive, but they can only stay there by "making a change".

The characters find themselves in a room with an elderly miser, Benezeber Splooge, who assumes they are the three spirits he was warned to expect. Through a mixture of improvisation and spinning Splooge around on his chair, they pretend to show him his past, present and future and convince him to change his miserly ways, but instead of being able to escape the Milk Dimension the three adventurers and Moonika are instead transported to another world.

Here they find themselves outside a department store just as it opens on Yulemas Eve, and for some reason decide to fight their way through the crowds waiting outside to snag a golden statue, which they intuit is the season's most popular toy sold out everywhere else. During their attempts to get it they meet Daddy Jingle, a single father trying to buy the toy for his son Bell in order to win back his love after he accidentally killed his mother by hugging her too hard (and also incidentally had an affair with the nanny). Froyo throws the toy into the crowd, castigating them for their gross materialism, and tells them of Barry's crimes, imploring them not to let him have it. As they close on him this seems to qualify as a change and they are transported again to another dimension...

### Part Two

Philge, Froyo, Jerf and Moonika find themselves in a suburban home on an oddly warm Yulemas Eve, where they are warmly welcomed by an Australian family, the Flemingtons, who think they are members of the family. They weather the arguments at the table of Christmas lunch, but eventually Froyo is asked to say Grace and tells them all that they are united in their blood feud against the family next door, which makes enough of a change that they are transported again.

The travellers find themselves in a modern brick house, where outside they hear two criminals claim they will be back for them. They realise they must build a series of improvised traps to stop the criminals, using the items they can find around them in the house. This includes Philge's *Mad Max*-style remote-controlled car armed with sharpened pencils and Michael Jordan cardboard-cutout armed with bees, Jerf's beautiful singing voice that lures one into flames, Moonika's pit traps hidden behind all seventeen doors of the house, and Froyo's gun. Defeating the bandits causes them to be transported once more...

This time they appear around a campfire in the woods, meeting the mighty warrior Whatwhom of Whomville, who is on a quest to avenge his people. Over a green egg and ham - which Philge does not like - Whatwhom tells the story of a fearsome creature whom they tried to destroy with magic, but its heart grew three times larger, giving it a giant pulsing growth in its green furry chest and making it three times stronger. This Yulemas-hating scum known as "the Granch" who terrorised the Whoms and is supposedly weak only to Yulemas cheer. Just then the Granch attacks! Jerf Zebos casts a *cloud of dust* spell which manages to blind everyone *except* the Granch, who burns Whatwhom, but Jerf gnaws on the Granch's pulsing heart. Froyo casts *lightning bolt* and fries the Granch, which pushes them through the Milk Dimension.

Froyo and Philge recognise the cabin where they appear this time, just in time to see Bobby push Freezo out of it towards town into the snow. Philge calls out to him and Freezo sees them just as he disappears in a sudden malestrom; they then see another figure who looks like Froyo, who chases after the figure while trying to stay out of site amongst the trees. They seem to have travelled back in time to the Yulemas of some years ago, when Froyo first found his cousin and Freezo killed the Yulemas King. Just as they realise this, they are enveloped in the storm and see Freezo duelling with the Yulemas King. Jerf decides this is a chance to do something unselfish for once, and flies in to bite Freezo on the butt, distracting him. The King turns his attention to Froyo and attacks; Froyo, taking a moment to make it clear he is not doing this for Freezo but only for the other Dragon Friends, casts *witch bolt* at the Yulemas King, but misses twice. Philge tries to distract Freezo by claiming a villager is making a PowerPoint about his terrible chongus, but he's too busy worrying about Jerf biting his butt. Jerf gives up on Freezo and bites the Yulemas King in the throat to try and kill him and take his power, but he's too strong. Moonika makes Freezo drowsy with magic and Philge pins him to the ground; she then also uses music to confuse him with magic. Froyo casts *witch bolt* a third time using his last, higher-level spell slot, and kills the Yulemas King, taking on his curse and becoming the new Yulemas King instead of Freezo.

Froyo swears he will use the power of Yulemas only for good - and that next Yulemas, he will be the one who kills Freezo Freezopherson...

## People

### Dragon Friends

* Philge
* Froyo

### Non-Player Characters (NPCs)

* Moonika, the Dairy Queen, played by Clare Cavanagh
* Jerb Zebos, the demi-lich, played by Ben Jenkins
* Benezeber Splooge, played by Matthew Roden
* Daddy Jingle, played by Simon Greiner

## Places

* The Milk Dimension, which we discover is not only real, but is neither made of milk nor a true dimension

## Themes, tropes and running jokes

* The Milk Dimension, which acquires a new significance
* Baffling Reference for our International Listeners
	+ The characters keep referring to Moonika the milk fairy as "Milko", which is a generic Australian name for imaginary friends after a character on popular Australian soap opera *Home and Away*.
	+ The first section of part two is an extended parody of Australian suburban cliches; during this section, the players reference the novels of Australian author Tim Winton, including his "Lockie Leonard" novels for kids, and also Paul Kelly's classic song "How to Make Gravy".