Episode 31: Mandatory Warhol

https://globehell.libsyn.com/

## Episode Summary

"Everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame. Join Josiah and Drew as they explain the concept of 15 minutes of fame and innovate with it to create a great idea. Through my ideas I live on through these boys two podcasters." — Andy Warhol

## Idea Details

* Idea: Mandatory Warhol, Mandatory Warhol Network
* Creator of idea: Josiah
* Purpose of idea: The point is that having your video be on Watch2Gether is a great way to experience something. If you could get onto Watch2Gether then you could become what I believe is a ancient uh Greek word, I believe it's Greek: famos, which is Ancient Greek word for 'famous'. And I think that's what everyone wants in this life is, whether they admit it or not. So everybody in this life just wants to become, uh as the Greek call famos. Uh Ancient Greek the Romans would try to become famos and they would try to maintain kind of a level of fame. Um so what I'm trying to say is that we all secretly wanna be famous I think. So I think - but - until - I mean right now the problem is that it's too hard to become famous, so here's one way that people try to become famous is they say affirmations to themselves to try to become famous. So that's kind of the problem. Everybody wants to be famous and that's they'll do anything! They'll say - they'll anything to themselves to get famous, and so I think what we need to do is we need to give everyone a playing field to become famous. (Drew: "And we've done that by creating the World Wide Web.") I mean, that is such a frustrating thing for you to say right now because that's already a thing and it's also already a different episode we did, you fucking sack of shit. Well let me just introduce to you a concept about - about how - the reason everyone wants to become famous is because there's something called um uh uh Andy Warhole. And Andy Warthole was from a really famous family known for their soup and he used that to become famous and he became a famous rocker artist and he's best known for his quotes. And so I found some I need to uh - (Drew: "Well he was best known for being in The Velvet Underground.") Well I don't care about what he did in his free time, I'm talking about how he's best known is that he was a wordsmith quote. And so I thought I would share with you his most famous quote - I couldn't find him saying it out loud but I did find this is a fella named Richard Edwards saying it. So do you understand? Everyone will be famous, this is called 15 minutes of fame is the idea. And we'll be famous 15 minutes. So I mean that's what Andy Warhole said and he was a musical guy so it makes sense that there's a lot of songs about it. (Drew: "Okay so this is just the name of your theory and I guess you've got a song to go with it.") It's not my theory, it's Andy Warthole. (Drew: "Uh right. Okay. Who?") Andy Warthole. So he's mostly - ironically he's famous for sort of saying this famous thing. (Drew: "So he's saying that everybody gets their 15 minutes of fame. But I - like I haven't - I haven't gotten my 15 minutes yet. You've gotten yours.") Well that - so that's the - so - just - I'm gonna get to that in a second, just there's a couple more things about it I wanted to just - it's just kind of a thing, you know? 15 minutes of fame Andy Warhol musical kind of guy, the band Saving Abel also has a song about it. (Drew: "Saving Abel, is that a religious reference? Or is it a different Abel?") Can you just listen, please? I'm trying to make a point here. (Drew: "Are you gonna make your point? Or are you just gonna play the song?") So it's - this whole idea that we all get to be famous has - it's sort of a half-finished idea, because we're all fighting for it. So you see they're all singing about it, they're all angry about it, because we've been promised something that we will not receive, this 15 minutes of fame. And I guess maybe in order to understand it better, we need to unpack what is - we understand what Andy Warthole said, but what does it actually mean to really break it down. I mean, do you wanna guess, do you want me to show you? I have some explanations for you. (Drew: "To be a realtor?") So there is sales, there's real estate, there's all that stuff, but we still need to get to the bottom of what does it actually mean, 15 min- this thing 15 minutes of - who is Andy Warthole? What's he talking about? What is he talking about, 15 minutes of fame? Okay so do you kind of get - do you get it? (Drew: "Like a one hit wonder or something.") It's kind of like that but it's everyone on Earth, according to Andy Warthole, will become famous for 15 minutes and it's a great promise, but as we learned from Raising Cane's and Saving Abel and Clawfinger rock groups, it's making everyone angry because they've been promised their 15 minutes and they can't have it. And I know that that's one of the reasons why you're so angry all the time. (Drew: "I'm not angry. I'm upset. I'm furious.") Well I think anger is a form of fur- fury is a form of anger, is it not? (Drew: "It depends.") So basically whether it's real estate or sales or just uh music or movies or robbing a bank or writing a book or taking a picture of your cat, everyone wants what they promised by Andy Warthole, and so I mean what are we gonna do about this? \*belch\* (Drew: "Maybe we - we should - ") Sorry. (Drew: "No problem. I don't know, maybe we should just say that Andy Warhol's theory was false.") You just wanna take the coward's way out? (Drew: "Well I mean based on evidence, it seems like the case that he really didn't know what he was talking about. And if you look at the - his other project, his other theories, his uhh art and pictures that he took - ") Banana. Banana? (Drew: "Yeah. And his music. I mean some of it is just - I mean maybe it was good for the time, but we've moved far past it. We no longer need The Velvet Underground or pictures.") Yeah but that's not the - but that's the point of - the point of - the point of him is that he proved it - he lived it and proved he was famous for 15 minutes and then did he die? What happened to him? Where did he go? (Drew: "I think he's still alive. Lemme look it up. He's presumed to be alive, lost in the Bermuda Triangle.") Is that true? (Drew: "Movies: *Chelsea Girls*, *Empire*, *Blow Job*, so this is your problematic fave.") He has a movie called *Blow Job*? Of course that's what your Google - (Drew: "Yeah. Guess what it's about.") That - of course that's what you would think ab- that your Google would think to tell you about was his movie called *Rim Job* or whatever you said. (Drew: "It's actually about the whistleblower behind Watergrate.") Well that's kind of what a blowjob is is blowing on someone's whistle and making him go 'Ooohhhhh!'. (Drew: "Well that's where they came up with it. Richard Nixon is basically - basically invented the blowjob.") We're way off the mark here. So I think what we need to talk about is Wandy Warhole is this. So I mean we can see Andy Warhol is alive and well, he's a bit of a hypebeast now, which is not surprising uh b- he's hypebeast YouTuber Andy Warhole strong presence still, but that's the problem! He's still trying to cling to fame and so here's what I propose, Drew, and I think we don't even need to listen to this 'Hypnotic Affirm Yourself Become Successful Binaural Music' anymore because here's what we're gonna do. Although I would kinda like to listen to it still. (Drew: "Me too.") It's going to be - here's what I'm going to call it. It's called a Mandatory Warthole.
* Timetable: No timetable was given, but presumably it will be ready as soon as James Corden can be slaughtered and turned into an ethereal A.I. angel recreation of himself who can constantly be awake and who doesn't need to eat or be paid.
* Idea details:
	+ The Mandatory Warhol Network will be the future utopia world equivalent of the Canada Comedy Network or the America Comedy Central. This future utopia world may be called Calgary, as previously discussed.
	+ After the Mandatory Warhol Network is implemented, all other media of all kinds will be blacked out. This includes the news, Twitter, computer, podcasts, and magazines. There will still be some pornos but they will be kept at a medical facility and you'll have to get a prescription for them, which will not be covered by health care.
		- Note: It is unclear what this will mean for the World Wide Email Forwarding Registration Service, the televised one-day three-day World Wide Rock Festival, and the film *Aging Cody Bonks*. They will presumably all be blacked out as well.
	+ To keep it light, the Mandatory Warhol Network will have one person hosting it: James Corden. He will mainly have a utilitarian role of running the station in terms of introducing guests, who will be the population of Earth.
	+ Everyone in the world will only be allowed to be famous for 15 minutes after implementation of Mandatory Warhol. During their 15 minute allotment, each person in the world is allowed to go on the Mandatory Warhol network and do whatever they want, but it will be the only chance they ever get.
	+ The 15 minute window for each person in the world to go on the Mandatory Warhol Network will be attempted to be scheduled in a way that is fair, but any current or former celebrities will not have their chance because their 15 minutes are already up (other than James Corden who will be running the network and introducing guests).
	+ People will receive a 15 minute warning, at random, before their 15 minute segment on the Mandatory Warhol Network. At that time they will also check a box to say what kind of performance they will be giving, from a one-man show, to a film made up of 15 minute segments from 12,000 actors, to doing nothing like the Kardashians, to a sales pitch.
	+ Everyone will receive an award in the area of their performance on the Mandatory Warhol Network and no one will ever compete with anyone else to win that award.
	+ The Mandatory Warhol Network will let you do anything you want for your 15 minutes, but it has one rule: you must shy away from metaphor so that any children watching do not get confused.
	+ After your 15 minutes, each person will have a 15 minute exit interview with James Corden where he will judge your performance based on his experience in show business.
	+ James Corden will also be responsible for some light banter and bringing the show into and out of commercial breaks.
	+ Commercials on the Mandatory Warhol Network may be handled by Tavis The World Boy, who would otherwise not be able to perform his duties as the mascot for Globe Hell Warning.
	+ The following was stated off the record:
		- Josiah and Drew will be able to fudge the numbers for themselves or for their famous friends like Nate Ruess and Tom to give them more than 15 minutes. They will do this by slowing down time so that everyone moves slowly. This will make it so their 15 minutes could become a matter of years and time will move at regular speed for them but slow for everyone else. This will involve going into the turnstile from *Tenet*.
	+ James Corden will be slaughtered and turned into an ethereal being who can constantly be awake, more like an A.I. angel recreation of James Corden who doesn't need to eat or be paid.

## Devil Play

* Drew played devil by asking if there is any content that the Mandatory Warhol Network would not show, such as a person cutting their own head off. Drew posited that this could be inappropriate for a child to see.
	+ Josiah expressed his desire to avoid solving any problem with censorship or dragonian methods of stifling human expression, stating that those can be discussed some other time. The intent of the Mandatory Warhol Network is simply to solve the problem of resentment due to other people's fame. He then demanded that Drew give him a word of affirmation that he solved that problem.
	+ Drew agreed wholeheartedly.
* Drew asked if they could bring in other forms of media to introduce different levels of fame, where some people are 15 minutes famous and others are just famous.
	+ Josiah disagreed vehemently, revealing that anyone who remains famous after their 15 minutes are up will have consequences.
	+ Drew continued with his idea that they have a 15 minute incremental Oscar performance, where each section of the film is 15 minutes so when an actor's 15 minute Oscar-worthy performance is over, they are replaced with a new actor who gives their own Oscar-worthy performance. By the end, the film will be released with 12,000 Oscar worthy actor performances, and at the end they can all stand on stage to demand free health care for the entire planet.
	+ Josiah loved the energy of Drew's idea but said he was overthinking things, because everyone who shows up on the Mandatory Warhol Network will receive an Oscar, an Emmy, a Gemini, an MMVA, etc. Everyone will receive, at random, a 15 minute warning prior to their 15 minutes of fame on the Mandatory Warhol Network, at which time they will also check a box based on what performance it will be, even if that performance is a Kardashian-like 'doing nothing'. In this way, no one will compete with anyone else and everyone will win an award. He went on to quote the great media thinker Marshall Mathers as saying "The media is the message," which is to say that any conversations about how nasty or violent something is are based on the context surrounding it; for instance, if you see one show with guns and shooting and then you see another show without guns and shooting, then you will wish the other show had guns and shooting; but by removing all context and making the Mandatory Warhol Network the only media in the world, nothing that anyone sees will ever have any imprint on their psyche in any way.
	+ Drew agreed that this made sense.

## Notable Events

* World Wide Wednesday
* Josiah and Drew watched the main Watch2Gether video from 2013.
* Josiah and Drew discussed starting the official Watch2Gether podcast where they talk about all the same Globe Hell Warning stuff but also talk about the corporate holdings and going-ons of the Watch2Gether corporation.
* Josiah and Drew watched a Watch2Gether video from 2020.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video of people saying affirmations to themselves to try to become famous.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video of Richard Edwards reading a quote by Andy Warhol about his 15 minutes of fame theory.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video of a man explaining the real estate corollary to Andy Warhol's 15 minutes of fame theory, which states that everyone in the world will be a real estate agent for 6 months. Josiah revealed this will be a future episode of Globe Hell Warning.
* Josiah and Drew listened to *15 Minutes of Fame* by Clawfinger.
* Josiah and Drew listened to *15 Minutes of Fame* by Saving Abel.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video of a man explaining Andy Warhol's 15 minutes of fame theory from a sales perspective.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video that defines Andy Warhol's 15 minutes of fame theory.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video explaining the idiom '15 minutes of fame'.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video explaining the 15 minutes of fame theory.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video of Andy Warhol talking about his thoughts on Google and his legacy.
* Josiah repeated his desire to name the future utopia world Calgary. Drew said nothing, though he has made his objections clear in the past.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video by Josiah's friend Patty Azzarello who wrote in to warn people not to waste their 15 minutes of fame from a sales perspective.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video by someone with 50,000 followers sharing what people would say if they had 15 minutes of fame.
* Josiah and Drew watched a video about Ken Bone's 15 minutes of fame.

## Notable Quotes

### Josiah

* "[In response to Drew's proposed leftist analysis of *DP* and *DP2*] I mean isn't - but I - isn't *Deadpool* kind of on the face already just kind of the - the text itself rather than the subtext? The whole thing is just kind of a leftist - I mean just kind of being a smart aleck is kind of leftist already, I thought."
* "[On the topic of Josh Brolin] That's how you know you're famous, if you just can go by just your m- well we'll get to that in a second, but I'm just saying if you can just be known only as your - someone just says 'W' and you know, 'Oh they're talking about President George Washington,' that's how you know that you've made it."
* "[On the topic of the band Talking Heads] It's funny though they're not called 'The Singing Head'."
* "[In response to Drew saying he wore a mask to go to the grocery store] Why?"
* "You should be allowed to buy condoms - I know that you're just using them to make stronger COVID-19 masks. You're not fucking anything with them."
* "[In response to Drew's question about how a condom would make a COVID-19 mask stronger] You kind of s- you, you sort of slice it down the side like you're opening a sausage casing, and then sort of s- just pull it as wide as it goes, and then hand-sew it into the inside of your mask. Because if sperm can't get through it, then certainly - I mean, COVID is basically sperm as well and uh the human body is the egg that it's trying to fertilize. And so it's basically just a shield. Um I guess it's also kinda like a STD or STI. I don't know the difference. What's the difference between a STI and STD? Well I guess the 'D' probably stands for Drew."
* "Well if you - if I was as stupid as you claim I am then how would I think?"
* "[In response to Drew saying he uses what little brain power he has to think] Well I have a lot of brain power. I have a lot of brain power and the reason - the reason that I th- I have so much brain power that I'm doing so many tasks at once and my brain is like a CP- CPU on a computer CPU and the - it's - I - the - and Chrome - Google Chrome is - uh it's like if my brain is a CPU and then Google Chrome is taking up too much uh that's how smart I am - that's - my brain is like a CPU and there's a task - uh activity monitor and if you click and then you can also click 'GPU' and see wha- Can you help me get out of this please? My task is like a -"
* "I want a perfect body. I wanna be a superstar. I have millions of fans. I am a famous. I am the stoned leftist shitposter. I am socialist comedian. I have a skew on the news with a socialist comedy perspective. My Patreon is growing. My Patreon is girthy. I have a Patreon. I love to kiss my Patreon receipt. Patreon. Patreon. Patreon. Patreon. Patreon. Patreon. Patreon. Patreon. Patreon."
* "[In response to Drew saying his ears perked up at the word 'genie'] You respond to 'genie' because you're always rubbing your little lamp. And making your own wishes come true."
* "Banana. Banana?"
* "Well that's kind of what a blowjob is is blowing on someone's whistle and making him go 'Ooohhhhh!'."
* "So I mean we can see Andy Warhol is alive and well, he's a bit of a hypebeast now, which is not surprising."
* ""[On the topic of what Patty Azzarello could have said to get everyone's attention] A lady never tells."
* "[On the topic of whether higher beings from another planet coming to Earth would have the right to treat humans as we treat the animals, as we breed, keep, and kill for food] I mean that's - no tha- let's think about the question. I think they might have that right! Because the - in terms - in terms of the - yeah but if you think of the - if you think of the - if you think of the - excuse me, Drew, let me speak please, if you think of the circle of life, if you add something new to that circle, it's gotta go somewhere, and who's - and why are y- why do you have the hubris to say that it couldn't go before you on the circle or after. I forget which direction the cir- is the circle of life clockwise or counter-clockwise? Would it go to the - who are you to say that they can't go in?"
* "[On the topic of the circle of life] There's one where the lions are scared of the mouse. The lion is scar- the elephant is scared of the mouse and then the mouse is scared of the snake. So why wouldn't they be able to eat us? I don't understand."
* "Yeah but obviously the prey fights back, that's kinda the fun of it."
* "This girl says racists and sexists are not born. So she doesn't think they exist, pretty much."
* "We are children of love and life is a perception game."
* "Love is the first thing we know, but the first thing we forget to do every day. It doesn't matter how you start it or finish it's about what you done in between. Remember I love you, please don't give up."

### Drew

* "Say? Wub a dub a dub. I don't fuckin' know. Yeah *Deadpool* is the f- *Deadpool* I think is one of the funniest films ever made."
* "I got a lot on my mind right now, okay? And there's a lot of - there's two different movies I've been thinking about a lot lately and I've been thinking of different perspectives maybe I could do a YouTube video doing a leftist - like a leftist analysis of *DP* and *DP2*."
* "[On the topic of the band Talking Heads] David Bjorn."
* "[In response to Josiah's question about what he bought at the grocery store] Yeah, condoms, uh lube."
* "[In response to Josiah suggesting all listeners tweet at Calgary Co-op to complain about their service workers judging Drew for the items he bought] Don't! Don't! Don't!! Don't, Josiah! I swear to God, if anybody tweets about me buying condoms and tweets, I'm done with the podcast, all right? That's serious. I'm done."
* "[On the topic of what the 'I' in STI stands for] No, the 'I' stan- look if - look at it closer, what's that underneath it? Oh is that a little little fishhook there? Oh, it's a 'J' for Josiah! Yes it is. Yes it is! Mm think about it for a second, stupid."
* "I am beloved. I am an angel. Patreon. Watch2Gether podcast. I have a Watch2Gether podcast."
* "Saving Abel, is that a religious reference? Or is it a different Abel?"
* "[On the topic of what he would wish for if he had a genie] I'd wish for a million wishes so I could give my friend Josiah the help he needs."
* "I'm not angry. I'm upset. I'm furious."
* "[On the topic of Andy Warhol's legacy] I mean some of it is just - I mean maybe it was good for the time, but we've moved far past it. We no longer need The Velvet Underground or pictures."
* "[On the topic of whether Andy Warhol is still alive] I think he's still alive. Lemme look it up. He's presumed to be alive, lost in the Bermuda Triangle."
* "[On the topic of the movie *Blow Job*] It's actually about the whistleblower behind Watergrate."
* "Well that's where they came up with it. Richard Nixon is basically - basically invented the blowjob."
* "I'm not sure if James Corden has much of a career left."
* "[In response to Josiah's question about whether Drew considers it wholesome for a television network to broadcast a person cutting their own head off] It's not, no, I don't think somebody cutting - cutting their own - and I know sometimes I play devil to be combative, but this is not one of the cases. I think when somebody - when somebody tries to cut their own head off on live television, I think that's where we have to come down and say that this is inappropriate and this is something that we shouldn't be showing on television."
* "[On the topic of how many seconds are in 15 minutes] Hundred and fifteen hundred."
* "[On the topic of what Patty Azzarello could have said to get everyone's attention] Something that gets all their attention. So maybe - maybe 'there's a - there's a bomb in the building.'"
* "[On which direction the circle of life goes] Well it's - it's not even a circle, is it? If it's - it's a triangle. There's shelter, water."
* "[On the topic of the circle of life] The Circle. Sammy Hagar's band."
* "I don't like - I don't like Ken Bone."

## Trivia

* Drew can be heard jacking off near the beginning of the episode.