Sovern Citizens

*This article is about the lesson. For the crazy people, see sovereign citizen.*

## Timeline

### Next

Learning to Fight (Part One)

"*Today's real lesson is all about the dangers of sympathy. Don't get sympathetic you little fucking pussy.*"
―Erik
Sovern Citizens is the 145th lesson of Internet Comment Etiquette. It was released on March 29, 2022.

## Summary

Erik looks at the Wikipedia article about sovereign citizens and he watches a video of a sovereign citizen getting tased. Erik watches a compilation of sovereign citizens getting pulled over by police and having their car windows smashed. Erik looks on Facebook to get in the heads of sovereign citizens, but he realizes that there are more people mocking sovereign citizens than there are actual sovereign citizens. Then Erik plays an ad segment.

Erik watches another cop smash open a car window, and then he looks at TikTok to find the sovereign citizens. He realizes that he can find even more if he misspells it as "sovern citizen." Erik tries to do duets with sovereign citizens on TikTok, but he gets distracted by how good he looks on the platform, and then he gets banned from TikTok.

Erik watches a video of a man explaining the mental health issues that result in people becoming sovereign citizens, and Erik realizes that he's going to feel bad for making fun of the mentally ill. Then he realizes that even the guy talking about mental health is mocking them, and that most sovereign citizens deserve to be made fun of. Erik can't decide if he should feel bad about them or not, but then he finds more people sympathetic to sovereign citizens and decides that they don't deserve sympathy.

## Comments

*Hey brother, great vid I laughed my butt off. This is like watching someone try out a new ability in a video game. My man unlocked the sovereign citizen power-up and the first thing he does is try to barge into a courtroom with his phone out. Fortunately Penn and Teller's evil twins were there to taze him, which somehow he didn't see as a possibility in this situation. By the way nice touch putting those minions in there! I thought that really heightened the experience. I was about to feel sympathy for this guy but then the minions let me know that I'd be the odd one out if I wasn't laughing at this dumb dick sucking idiot.*
- Erik

*Are you tired of nefarious fascist police officers smashing your windows every time you get pulled over? Well take your next social security check to Big Money Sovereign Citizens window replacement service. No ID? No problem. No registration? You don't have to tell me shit. We're a Sovereign Company, which means we're not from anywhere so we don't have to pay taxes or follow laws that keep us from employing child slave labor! So next time a state trooper shatters your window with the butt of his maglite just because you acted comically suspicious, give us a call. Our window replacement orphans will ride their tricycles over to your home and install a brand new window so you can go back to rolling it up in cops' faces and getting it smashed all over again.**We have teams standing by all over this big piece of land we live on that nobody belongs to, for sovereign citizens who think they can outfox a police officer who's probably been looking for a reason to break someones window all fucking day. What that really means is we're located in Northern California, Oregon, Florida, and Penis Valley, Mississippi where I was born in a burned-down schoolhouse. That's Big Money Sovereign Citizens window replacement service dot com if state troopers know your face by now. I normally don't root for the police unless they're in one of my many favorite comic book franchises, but if you people keep talking to cops like you have a girl scout in the trunk I'm gonna be a very rich man. Oh by the way all the orphans are very sick with something right now so keep your distance while they install your new window. And please don't feed them, they are sovereign citizens and they can forage their own meals. And I can get away with all this shit because I'm JUST TRAVELING*
- Erik

*Why doesn't this group have a link for files to be downloaded? Someone posted a link for paperwork, I am seraching for that link.*
- Lisa Ann

*Got the link right here girl: check out www.nevervaccinate.com it's got all the info*
- Erik

*I have a question Im looking to become a soveregin citizen Im in my 60s and wanted to know if I will still beable to receive Social Security Benifets*
- Michele Thomas

*nope we don't want you, i'm speaking on behalf of all sovereign citizens you can go fuck off and stick to your benefits*
- Erik

*I traveld up my boyfriends butt while reading these comments until I got pulled over at a speed trap and the cop arrested my balls for not having an ID*
- Erik

*I may not be a sovereign citizen, but I am a sauvignon citizen. That means I'm full bodied with a peppery finish, and if a police officer so much as approaches me there's a 90 percent chance I'm getting tased. As a sauvignon citizen I may not be a member of the United States, but I do have a piece of paper I bought off the internet that identifies me as grown in the Bordeaux region of France where the nights chill leaves the thinnest layer of frost, perfect for the dark red fruity notes I'm known for. Also if anyone asks me for my driver's license I'll spray blood out of my eyes like a horned lizard and continue doing whatever it was that requires a driver's license. Nobody can stop me until I've achieved my goal of becoming entirely sauvignon.**The sauvignon code says "no country, no king, medium-high tannins" and those are words I will defend no matter how many times I need to replace my windows or see my car impounded because the license plate is just a piece of paper that reads PRIVATE RESERVE. One day this country will finally wake up and realize that the government doesn't exist, and police aren't allowed to arrest you until you've decanted for at least an hour. Also as a sauvignon citizen my appearance on To Catch a Predator is not legally binding in any way, nor are the forged checks that multiple state counties that I don't recognize are out to get me for without my consent.*
- Erik

## Context

1. ↑ Penn and Teller are a magic act duo in which Penn speaks while Teller performs magic silently. The police officer with the taser resembles Penn while the police officer next to him remains silent.

## Video

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