113 Years Ago

**113 Years Ago** is a song from the episode "An Easter Carol" after Cavis and Milward ask Ebenezer Nezzer for a day off for Easter.

## Lyrics

> Ebnezzer: You know when my Grandmother started this factory?
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> Cavis: Oh no, here comes the speech again. 112 years ago. Yeah, I know, sir.
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> Ebnezzer: 113! She was making Easter before you were born!
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> (Ebenezzer opens a photo album as a song starts.)
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> Ebnezzer: *113 Years ago, with one chicken and a coop,*
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> *my grandma started dyeing eggs for the local girl scout troop.*
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> *She started making money, and as the business grew,*
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> *she got more hens and colors and she knew just what to do.*
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> *She built herself a factory to do what she loved best*
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> *She kept on dyeing Easter eggs, but then you know the rest...*
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> Cavis: Yes sir, she...
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> Ebnezzer: ...*I suppose it was bound to happen, her age she could not hide, More than 100 years of living, and then one day she died. But before she drifted off that day, she whispered in my ear, those words I never shall forget, I still hear them loud and clear...*She said, "Ebbie..." She always used to call me Ebbie. "Ebbie..*I've taught you the family business, and with my dying breath. I say you tell every single person, Easter means no death."* Now at first, this all confused me, 'til I realized *That as long as I make Easter eggs, It's like she's still alive. (the egg-shaped music box plays a tune) She built herself a factory to do what she loved best. And I'll keep making Easter eggs, my one and only quest.* Tomorrow the world will see how I'm gonna make Easter even bigger and better! And Grandma will live forever, just like she wanted! So you see, we can't just stop the factory. That would let Grandma down.
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> Cavis: But Ebbie, er...Mr. Nezzer, sir, I...ah...
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> (There is a knock at the door. The door opens to reveal Edmund and his dad.)
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> Rev. Gilbert: Hello there! Mind if we come in?
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> Ebnezzer: That'll be all! Now get back to work.
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> Rev. Gilbert: But I don't work here.
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> Ebnezzer: Well, I'm not hiring either.
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> Rev. Gilbert: Oh, no. That's not why we're here. We came to...
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> Ebnezzer: Oh, you're that church fella, aren't ya?
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> Rev. Gilbert: Well, yes, I guess I am...
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> Ebnezzer: So, why are you here?
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> Rev. Gilbert: Well sir, I know your Grandmother used to bring you to church. She loved Easter so much.
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> Ebnezzer: Yes
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> Rev. Gilbert: Then you'll come?
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> Ebnezzer: No.
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> Rev. Gilbert: But you said...
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> Ebnezzer: I said, "Yes, my Grandmother loved Easter." What's not to love with the eggs and candy...?
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> Rev. Gilbert: Oh, but Mr. Nezzer, we miss you at the Easter Service.
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> Ebnezzer: If you ask me, you've got enough people locked up already! Sittin' in those pews when they should be out buyin' more eggs!
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> Rev. Gilbert: I'm sorry?
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> Ebnezzer: Look-I know my Grandma liked that old church, but I have no idea why. I need to make Easter bigger to keep her alive, and that church is just in the way!
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> Rev. Gilbert: What?!
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> Ebnezzer: And that's why I'm working on this.
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> (Ebenezzer brings in a model of the church with little figures of Cavis, Millward and other people.)
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> Everyone: OOooooooooo.
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> Millward: Is that one supposed to be me? 'Cause I'm not that fat.
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> (Ebnezzer gives Millward a dirty look)
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> Millward: Sorry.
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> Ebnezzer: *Tomorrow is my Grandma's birthday, and she has given me a job to do. So I've been savin' all my money to make her Easter dream come true*. (He shows everyone a promotional image for...) Easter Land! Where Easter is forever! Ha! Don't you just love it?
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> Edmund: Easter Land? What's that supposed to be?
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> (Ebenezzer shows more promotional images reading "Why wait till Spring? We got Easter!", "Egg-O-Rama Daily Hunts," and All you can eat Bunny Buffet.")
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> Ebnezzer: *Oh, you're really going to love this. I'll make Easter last all year long! We'll have Easter Egg Hunts every day to please the massive throng!*
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> Millward: Throng?
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> Cavis: It means "lots of people."
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> Ebnezzer: *Everyone will buy my eggs, And I'll give them more to munch. They'll buy my yummy chocolate bunnies for breakfast, dinner, lunch!* Grandma will be proud of me for keeping her alive and dear. Church was her most favorite place, so Easter Land will be right here!
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> (Ebenezzer puts a model of Easter Land on top of the church. Rev. Gillbert faints a la Larry-Boy! and the Fib from Outer Space!)
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> Ebnezzer: *She built herself a factory to do what she loved best. And so I'm building Easter Land. My one and only quest!*
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> Cavis: But that's not what she meant! You can't do that!
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> Ebenezzer: Of course, I'll have to build a chocolate bunny factory, too.
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> Millward: You can't tear down the church!
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> Ebnezzer: Don't be silly. That land has been in my family for generations.
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> Rev. Gilbert: If you just came to the service, you'd realize....
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> Cavis: You gotta talk to him!
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> Millward: Ahem-Uncle Ebnezzer, Easter is a time when-
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> Ebnezzer: *-When I am interrupted, by people buggin' me* To come to church, and save the orphans, *and shut my factory!* *But early tomorrow morning a crew will start at eight, On knocking down that little church and building something great. And folks will come from miles around on trains, on bikes, on legs... And Grandma will live forever! Just like my little plastic eggs!*
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> *(Ebenezzer pushes a button that makes the chickens work faster.)*
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> Edmund: Come on!
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> Cavis and Edmund: Don't do it!
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> Millward: Uncle Ebnezzer, you can't do that!
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> Rev. Gilbert: We can't let you tear the church down!
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> Edmund: It's a really bad idea!!!
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> Ebnezzer: I don't care about your service or your windows or your glass. I'm gonna build the world a place where Easter is a blast!
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> Cavis: We won't let you do this!
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> Ebnezzer: Begone from me, naysayers! If you won't help me with my deed, get out of here and don't come back! I'll go unaccompanied!
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> (Hands Cavis and Millward pink slips.)
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> Cavis: We're fired?!
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> Ebnezzer: Effective immediately! *At 8:00am the church comes down! I'll show you without guilt! The world would be a better place if that church was never built!*
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> *(The gates to the factory shut.)*
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