Joseph's Bizarre Adventure

Sometime in late 2077...

### Prologue

Vivec floated into his office and quickly unlocked the top drawer of his desk. Sitting neatly in the middle was an old brick phone with a sticky note attached to the back of it labled "Use If Time Is Right" Yellow Blue man took out the phone and dialed up a number he was familier with. In truth this was not some powerful entity who owed him a favor or some covert agent, it was someone that Vivec talked to quite frequently. This person already had Vivec as a contact on his actual phone and they talked quite often but vivec just wanted to use this dusty device for once because it felt like the right time. Vivec pressed the call button and it rang briefly before being answered. "Malo" Said Vivec, "It is time for the next phase of your training"

### Ok, So here's the situation

Joseph Malo quickly got onto a plane and headed over to the harsh but beautiful nation of Resdayn. To be quite honest he was sick of getting jet lag from constantly flying to the Mid-atlantic but he knew what happened last time he tried to get the mentors to come to him. (Check out Malo Mishap #1 for more Info Lads) He Walked into the Temple of the Yellow Blue man and and greeted his multicoloured friend. Vivec informed him that the threat of Yin was at an all time High and that with the Waster Virus ravaging the World's magic population things were going to get worse before they got better. The two started brain storming different ways to get Joseph stronger and they eventualy came to an ambitious conclusion.

"Yo this is Ashtron Gaming, I'm cooking Kebabs for my wives right now so make it quick".

Malo: Yea Yea hey listen you trust me right?

Ashtron: Um, I guess... Whats this about.

Malo: I want to do more in the fight against Yin, but I need to become stronger if I want to have any effect on him.

Ashtron: \*Sigh\* Alright what do you want?

Malo: Can I Borrow the Ross Wallace Shield pls?

Ashtron: ... Sure kid. (Hangs Up)

Malo turned around and saw the legendary Shield behind him propped up next to the fire place. He tried it on and it fit perfectly in his hand and it felt like an extention of his arm, like it should. Yellow Blue Man rolled his eyes dude to Malo's exitement and told him to get into a meditation position. The two sat cross legged for an hour attempting to channel the flow of Realm Energy and attach onto a point in space. Malo felt himself falling backwards suddenly and when he opened his eyes he gazed upon a strange Place.

### The Capital of Nowhere

Malo Awoke lying on a hard metal street in a vast but contained city. He looked around and saw creatures he had never seen before all walking around and going about their daily bussiness as if they were regular People. The Buildings were massive but everything was contained by a giant glass dome that covered the entire city and in the center of it all was a massive Red Crystal. For an Hour Malo walked around Fort Abandon aimlessly trying to figure out where he was and what he needed to do. The Only real help he got was when he accidentaly bumped into a Chud Traveller who wasn't looking where he was going. The two started apologising to each other but eventully moved on to the topic of their bussiness. Malo made up some cover story of being a wanderer and asked if there was any place that would allow him to fight people. The Chud Man laughed and pointed him in the direction of a popular fight club in the lower levels of the city. On the way Malo traded some fish sticks for a digital mask that could alter his looks at the press of a button just incase someone recognised him. Malo and the Chud walked into the Club and saw it in all it Dingyness. It was dimmly lit and smelled of smoke and petrol. In the middle was a fighting cage with a bloodstained floor.

### Talking About Fight Club

Malo was stopped at the entrance by a hulking dark figure with skeletal hands a dark abilities who seemed oddly familier. The Being thought the same about Malo and thought long and hard before realising. This figure was The Don who was on Vacation. Don started laughing and slapped Malo on the back, for him it was good to see someone from Earth. The two talked about how things were back on Earth for a bit before Jospeh managed to slip away. In truth he was pissing himself the entire time. Malo walked over to the organiser and put in some cash for the fight before getting into the Ring. Not long after there was another volunteer, a muscular dark skinned dude with a slight afro who kinda looked like Malo Himself. Episis was his name and he was looking to make some quick money while also impressing his friends who were watching on egarly. The Organiser stood up and presented the rules. "No Weapons, You Fight to the Death or till somone gives up". Malo and Episis agreed to fight until one of them capitulated.

The Fight was Brutal at first and Bloody at last, Episis was good with fire magic and he used it when ever he could in conbination with anything else he could do. The Constant fire balls and molten chains ment that Malo had to be fast on his feet and look for any opening he could. Malo mostly used force magic in creative ways to land rare but powerful hits on Episis. The crowed looked on in awe as these fighters almost burned down the who club and attempted to tear eachother to shreds. After enduring many hard blows Episis went quite for a seconds before stransforming into a decaying skeletal demon with claws like razor blades. He ran at Malo and stabbed him in the thigh with his dagger like claws and Malo fell to the ground in pain, but it was not done yet. Joseph Malo summoned a fireball and the beast caught fire and started flailing around in pain before collapsing. "I.....Give.... Up". Water sprayed down from the roof and stopped the flames and then a strange gel was sprayed and everyone's wounds healed completly.

Malo stayed in the Club for several more hours, training and fighting. His second opponent was an insect dude with blades for arms and an advanced agile robotic body. This bug was also one of Don's Children. (it's a long Story) it was a close call but in the end Malo was able to dismember it and crush it's head. With his first kill in the ring he absorbed the bug man's power with the Ross Wallace Shield. Malo found that was was able to lift three times more then he usualy could after this.

His last fight was a tag team with Malo and a Sexy Vampire lady on team one. The Other team was composed of a buff vampire hunter and one of the most fearsome fighters known to history, A Woman so physically strong she could punch a hole in the crust of a planet. Jojo Joestar Siwa. When the fight started it was like an atomic bomb went off, never in this clubs entier history had it whitnessed a fight with so much raw energy. Everyone was moving so fast that the spectators had trouble keeping track of them. It looked like it could have been going either way in terms of victory but unfortunetly for the patrons of the club they never got and answer. Half way through the fight there was an announcment that everyone in the city needed to strap in since the city was about to do a Realm jump. Jojo Siwa was not about to let a fight go unfinished so she used her power to keep Malo in the cage and eventualy it came time to jump.

### Lowest Prices Guaranteed

When Fort Abandon jumped it was like the whole world was caught in slow motion and somone turned the saturation up by 300% and then suddenly it was like Malo was flying through a tunnel made of pure light at max speed. Suddenly he saw the ground rapidly gaining on him so thinking quickly he cast a dampen spell and landed safely on the ground. He was in a vast field ofnothing but blue grass but from behind him he heard footsteps. He turned around and saw an old man hunched over in a pair of robes. Malo: Um Hey Can you help me pls?

Old Dude: GET OFF MY LAWN

The Old Man then opened a portal and roundhouse kicked malo into it.

Malo then woke up on a cold hard concrete floor surrounded by endless shelves of tools. Everywhere he looked there was nothing but shelves filled with hardware store inventory as far as the eye could see. For Hours he attempted to look for an exit but around every corner were just more corners and hallways. He sat down defeated. Althrough he did not know it at the time he was just pushed into Realm Snag-69. According to Joseph Malo Himself he ran for 2 days before finding more survivors in the endless store. After being attacked by mutated, faceless employees he was rescued by a small group of people that consisted of the Leader Chuck, Scavenger Mr Self Insert, and a kid that looked just like Malo. For a few days they all stayed together in a small treehouse built on top of some shelves where the workers could not reach them. It was here where Malo first learned of a rival community by the name of 'The Garden' led by a blood thirsty dictator called 'The Gardener'. It was also here where Malo Learned about Molestation Magic, The most common form of magic in the universe.

After the group abandoned Malo because he kept pileing up dead worker's bodies (which made them more agressive) he set off to find the Garden. After a week of walking he came across a group of Garden soldiers who were looking for supplies in a decked out forklift. They attacked each other and Malowas able to crush most of them with falling shelves. Joseph kept walking for a few more days and eventualy found that the evil community he was looking to destroy was actually not that bad. After he found the Garden he saw many families and children living together in safety. They were all suspicious of Malo due to the reasonable association between Molestation and magic. Malo entered the town hall and greeted the Gardener who was a Woman who just loved to care for plants and keep people safe. He Decided then and there not to kill her. After a few days of staying in the town Malo came across his old group about to be hanged in the street. He Pleaded with the Gardener and convinced her to release the Lookalike and the Self Insert. Chuck was not as lucky and died calling out for Malo to save him.

The 2 boys resented Malo for leaving their friend to die but they were forced to stick with him to survive and after days of constant walking they came across yet another community. However they soon discovered that it was led by Malo's rival. Jojo Siwa. As soon as Siwa saw Malo she lanched herself at him and the two had a battle that the residents would sing songs about for generations. They Both unleashed their built up full potential on eachother which took the form of both combatants smashing eachother into the air and into shelves and buildings. Siwa decided to stop playing and shot a toxic Makeup Beam at Self Insert who died in Malo's arms. Filling with Rage Malo unleashed his full power on Siwa which created a massive blast that destroyed most of the settlement. The Lookalike Kid was impaled by a beam of rebar and died infront of Malo like his friend. The Punch unleashed by Malo following this had enough raw energy to rip a hole in the realm and transport Malo and Siwa back to Earth.

Jojo Siwa lay dead in a massive crater in the siberian wasteland and Joseph Malo absobed her soul with the Ross Wallace Shield before collapsed to the ground and passing out. He was soon found by Resurrection Republic searchers who were glad to have their president back after a month. (They almost declared war on Drakslavia 3 times during this time)

When Malo woke up in hospital, he felt powerful and for some reason had an egg with him. (And Ashtron Gaming had taken back the shield)